Sweating with anguish the Cure prayed: 'Lord
Christ, do not let them take my son's eyes! JLord,
Lord, do not let them deprive him of sight . . .
those who have eyes to see let them see. . . . You
who healed. . . . Son of God, Son of Mary, have
mercy so that he may see You with the eyes of his
flesh. Christ crucified . . . Christ who rose from the
dead . . . Christ glorified ... it is my son, it is Jan
. . . the child that for Your sake I did not beget. . . .*
With a mighty effort he checked himself, conscious
that his mind was beyond his control and terrified
lest it should plunge into madness.
§2
The frequent meetings with ^Eliana terminated
somewhat abruptly. Jan excused himself on the plea
of hard work: *I must work in the evenings/ he said
to Christophe, cthe Cure insists, and of course he is
right; just lately I have been growing slack.5 And
Christophe did not question this statement, did not
for a moment suspect the truth—Jan had never
permitted interference with his studies.
As for ^Eliana who had so much desired to find
Christophe alone, she now seemed indifferent or else
distinctly hostile towards him: 'I have told you that
I cannot go for long walks. You know perfectly well
that I am sitting to Beauvais which is very fatiguing.
Do stop pestering me!5 And greatly bewildered,
Ghristophe would leave her.
But one thing inevitably resulted from JEliana's
swift change of tactics: he could not get the girl out
of his thoughts and would find himself constantly
brooding upon her, and the more he brooded the
lonelier he grew, incredible how much he missed those
walks, how dreary the evenings had become without
her. And suddenly he felt an immense sense of loss
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