60 THE STORY OF MY LIFE [1838
"Stoke Rectory, Jan. 1, 1838. On Christmas Day Augustus went to church for the first time with me. He was perfectly good and kept a chrysanthemum in his hand the whole time, keeping his eyes fixed on it when sitting down. Afterwards he said, ' Grandpapa looked just like Uncle Jule: he had his shirt (surplice) on.'
"He has got on wonderfully in reading since I began to teach him words instead of syllables, and also learns German very quickly.
"Having been much indulged by Mrs. Feilden (Mrs. Leycester's sister), he has become lately what Mary (Lea) calls rather' independent.' He is, however, easily knocked out of this self-importance by a little forbearance on my part not to indulge or amuse him, or allow him to have anything till he asks rightly. . . . There is a strong spirit of expecting to know the reason of a thing before he will obey or believe. This I am anxious to guard against, and often am reminded in dealing with him how analogous it is to God's dealing with us — 6 What thou knowest not now, thou shalt know hereafter.' Now he is to walk by faith, not by sight, not by reason."
"Lime, May 14, 1838. Yesterday being Good Friday, I read to Augustus all he could understand about the Crucifixion. He was a little naughty, and I told him of it afterwards. ' But I was good all yesterday, won't that goodness do ?' His delight over the flowers is as excessive as ever, but it is very necessary to guard against greediness in this."
"August~L§. Being told that he was never alone, God and Jesus Christ saw him, he said, ' God sees me, but Jesus Christ does not.' —' But they are both one.'—' Then how did John the Baptist pour water on His head, and how could He be crucified?' How difficult to a child's simple faith is the union of the two natures!l
1 The child was only three.i, •• f'ntiri'itti" 3 II, Unit llitltoii.ner, did imt lie |« (Jod for )Ljiviii(L( him so maiiv ,^'ood things, and I knell him and prayed (J<><1 to forgive him for !*'in^ so nau^Imhr- and the most attractive in Florence. thru