WEBVTT 01:00.000 --> 01:17.000 Welcome. Welcome. Howdy. Well now, ain't that handy? 01:17.000 --> 01:18.000 It's bad, Paul. 01:18.000 --> 01:21.000 The way the road takes a bend in here runs right by the front door. 01:21.000 --> 01:26.000 No, Mr. Clapper, this is your driveway. It goes with the house. 01:26.000 --> 01:28.000 Is this thing a hire? 01:28.000 --> 01:32.000 Yes, indeed. It was built by John Barrymore, one of our finest actors. 01:32.000 --> 01:36.000 Pretty fair stonemason, too. 01:36.000 --> 01:40.000 Hey, Jeff! This here is dandy soil. 01:40.000 --> 01:43.000 Fine, Granny. We'll commence plowing tomorrow. 01:43.000 --> 01:45.000 But this is Beverly Hills. 01:45.000 --> 01:47.000 Dirt is dirt. 01:47.000 --> 01:49.000 Yes, I know, but... 01:49.000 --> 01:52.000 Why don't we look around inside, eh? 01:52.000 --> 01:54.000 Well, here we are. 01:54.000 --> 01:57.000 I hope you're going to like this place I picked out for you. 01:57.000 --> 02:00.000 It may be a trifle larger than what you're used to, 02:00.000 --> 02:05.000 but I feel a man with $25 million in my bank should live in a manner that... 02:05.000 --> 02:23.000 Come in, come in. This is your home. 02:23.000 --> 02:27.000 As I say, it may be a bit more than you're used to, but I'm sure you'll be comfortable. 02:27.000 --> 02:31.000 Now, my secretary will be over right away to help you with the hiring of servants 02:31.000 --> 02:33.000 or whatever problems you may have. 02:33.000 --> 02:35.000 She's a very efficient girl, Miss Hathaway. 02:35.000 --> 02:40.000 Jed! Jed! 02:40.000 --> 02:43.000 Jed? 02:43.000 --> 02:48.000 You and Jethro fetch in my stove so I can get some vittles to cook in. 02:48.000 --> 02:50.000 You have a beautiful stove. 02:50.000 --> 02:51.000 Thank you. 02:51.000 --> 02:53.000 Fetch it in, Jed. 02:53.000 --> 02:55.000 You scare up some wood, Ellie. 02:55.000 --> 02:58.000 No, no. I mean you have a stove already installed in the kitchen. 02:58.000 --> 03:00.000 Where's that? 03:00.000 --> 03:01.000 I'll show you. 03:01.000 --> 03:04.000 Excuse us. 03:04.000 --> 03:08.000 Ellie, you go with Granny. She'll still need you to fetch some wood. 03:08.000 --> 03:13.000 Sure, Uncle. 03:13.000 --> 03:15.000 Uncle Jed, guess what? 03:15.000 --> 03:20.000 There's a whole other house up here. 03:20.000 --> 03:22.000 Jethro, come down from there. 03:22.000 --> 03:26.000 Like it's not that belongs to somebody else. 03:26.000 --> 03:31.000 George, this is your kitchen. 03:31.000 --> 03:34.000 Oh, and here's the stove. 03:34.000 --> 03:37.000 The last word in food preparation. 03:37.000 --> 03:45.000 And speaking of food, you'll find everything you could possibly want stored right in here. 03:45.000 --> 03:51.000 See? 03:51.000 --> 03:56.000 Well, I'll leave you ladies to your culinary delights. 03:56.000 --> 03:57.000 Au revoir. 03:57.000 --> 04:01.000 Bon appétit. 04:01.000 --> 04:03.000 Talks gibberish. 04:03.000 --> 04:09.000 I see you've sent a great deal of stow on this here stove, Granny. 04:09.000 --> 04:15.000 Well, we'll see. 04:15.000 --> 04:18.000 Ellie, you run out and fetch some wood. 04:18.000 --> 04:21.000 I'll get a fire to go on in here and we'll see. 04:21.000 --> 04:24.000 Jethro, I hope it's all right for you to be missing school. 04:24.000 --> 04:26.000 Oh, sure, Uncle Jed. 04:26.000 --> 04:29.000 They ain't straight in the fifth grade. 04:29.000 --> 04:30.000 You in the fifth grade already? 04:30.000 --> 04:33.000 Starting this year. 04:33.000 --> 04:38.000 Don't seem like no time at all since you went with your ma to get you started in the first grade. 04:38.000 --> 04:40.000 You was six years old. 04:40.000 --> 04:42.000 No bigger than that. 04:42.000 --> 04:49.000 We drove clean over to Oxford so you could go to the same school your pa went to. 04:49.000 --> 04:51.000 You wouldn't know that town today, Uncle Jed. 04:51.000 --> 04:52.000 Oxford? 04:52.000 --> 04:53.000 Yes, sir. 04:53.000 --> 05:00.000 Where that town has grown and grown and spread out and built up and just kept getting bigger and bigger. 05:00.000 --> 05:05.000 Where today, well, I bet you there must be at least three or four dozen people living there. 05:05.000 --> 05:11.000 A place like that's all right to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. 05:11.000 --> 05:13.000 Now, do you have any assistance? 05:13.000 --> 05:15.000 No, thank you, Mr. Drysdale. 05:15.000 --> 05:17.000 We're just talking about Jethro here getting back to school. 05:17.000 --> 05:22.000 Oh, well, we have some excellent educational facilities out here, Mr. Crabbit. 05:22.000 --> 05:23.000 Where do you go to school, Jethro? 05:23.000 --> 05:26.000 Oxford. 05:26.000 --> 05:34.000 Yeah, you see, Jethro's ma, that's my cousin Pearl, she married an Oxford man, so naturally, Jethro, he goes to school there, too. 05:34.000 --> 05:36.000 I'm the champion crawdad eater. 05:36.000 --> 05:38.000 At Oxford? 05:38.000 --> 05:41.000 Jethro put away three buckets of crawdad. 05:41.000 --> 05:42.000 Four. 05:42.000 --> 05:44.000 And he's learned to cipher and everything. 05:44.000 --> 05:48.000 Cipher something for Mr. Drysdale. 05:48.000 --> 05:52.000 One and one's two. 05:52.000 --> 05:53.000 Two and two's four. 05:53.000 --> 05:57.000 Four and four's eight. 05:57.000 --> 06:01.000 I have to take off my shoes to get any proper man. 06:01.000 --> 06:03.000 I'm sure we're thinking of two different Oxfords. 06:03.000 --> 06:05.000 You see, there's one that's very famous and very old. 06:05.000 --> 06:08.000 That's where Jethro goes to school. Been there since pioneer days. 06:08.000 --> 06:10.000 That's how come it got its name. 06:10.000 --> 06:13.000 It's where the oxen used to ford the river. 06:13.000 --> 06:19.000 Folks took the call on an oxen ford and later on got shortened to Oxford. 06:19.000 --> 06:20.000 Well, I'll be running. 06:20.000 --> 06:22.000 Oh, by the way, here are your keys. 06:22.000 --> 06:24.000 My secretary should be over very soon. 06:24.000 --> 06:28.000 Well, thank you very much, Mr. Drysdale, for everything you've been doing for us. 06:28.000 --> 06:29.000 Oh, it's my pleasure, Mr. Crabbit. 06:29.000 --> 06:34.000 You see, I'm not only your banker, I'm your next-door neighbor. 06:34.000 --> 06:37.000 Well, you see, how ain't that nice? 06:37.000 --> 06:41.000 Well, now, why don't you bring your missus over tonight for supper 06:41.000 --> 06:45.000 and I'll have Granny wamp up a mess of grits and hog jowls. 06:45.000 --> 06:48.000 Well, you see, right now my wife is in Boston. 06:48.000 --> 06:50.000 Oh, that's too bad. When she be back? 06:50.000 --> 06:52.000 Not too soon, fortune. 06:52.000 --> 06:54.000 I'll see you later. 06:54.000 --> 06:55.000 Well, thank you, Mr. Drysdale. 06:55.000 --> 06:58.000 So long. 06:58.000 --> 07:03.000 Uncle Jed, do you reckon one of these days I can have me a little bitty old taste 07:03.000 --> 07:05.000 of Granny's moonshine? 07:05.000 --> 07:09.000 Now, Jethro, you know the family rule about Granny's moonshine. 07:09.000 --> 07:12.000 You get your first taste on your wedding day and not before. 07:12.000 --> 07:15.000 Well, Uncle Jed, that might be an awful long time. 07:15.000 --> 07:17.000 I ain't even got me no sweetheart. 07:17.000 --> 07:18.000 How come? 07:18.000 --> 07:21.000 Why, back home, every time I get me a girl, 07:21.000 --> 07:24.000 one of them there big fellas will take her right away from me. 07:24.000 --> 07:26.000 Maybe out here in Beverly Hills. 07:26.000 --> 07:28.000 Pa, could I please have the axe? 07:28.000 --> 07:30.000 I gotta split some wood for Granny. 07:30.000 --> 07:32.000 Fetch it, Jethro. 07:32.000 --> 07:34.000 You sure Granny's got a wood pile? 07:34.000 --> 07:36.000 Not that I can find. 07:36.000 --> 07:39.000 But I found a whole row of black old dead tree trunks, 07:39.000 --> 07:41.000 pretty near as high as this house. 07:41.000 --> 07:43.000 Are they kind of big for you to tackle? 07:43.000 --> 07:44.000 Well, shucks, no, Pa. 07:44.000 --> 07:47.000 They're only this big around and all trimmed and topped 07:47.000 --> 07:49.000 and strung together with the black rope, 07:49.000 --> 07:54.000 so as no matter which one you cut, the others keep it from falling. 07:54.000 --> 07:57.000 Somebody had a right smart idea there. 07:57.000 --> 08:00.000 Just the same, I think I'd rather have Jethro do the cutting. 08:00.000 --> 08:02.000 Oh, Pa, let me. 08:02.000 --> 08:07.000 Cutting trees and chopping logs ain't no work for a girl. 08:07.000 --> 08:09.000 I'm just as strong as Jethro. 08:09.000 --> 08:10.000 You ain't neither. 08:10.000 --> 08:12.000 I am so. 08:12.000 --> 08:13.000 You ain't neither. 08:13.000 --> 08:14.000 I am so too. 08:14.000 --> 08:15.000 You want to wrestle. 08:15.000 --> 08:17.000 Dawn too. 08:17.000 --> 08:20.000 Now, here, here, that ain't no fair fight. 08:20.000 --> 08:22.000 Nobody's gonna get hurt. 08:22.000 --> 08:24.000 Now, there, you see, you're getting too rough. 08:24.000 --> 08:28.000 Jethro, a person can get crippled from a hold like that. 08:28.000 --> 08:29.000 Get up from there. 08:29.000 --> 08:32.000 I can't, Uncle Jeff. 08:32.000 --> 08:39.000 You turn him loose and get up from there before I take the strap to the boot. 08:39.000 --> 08:42.000 Now, here, you get out there and chop down one of them tree trunks. 08:42.000 --> 08:44.000 Saw Granny some nice logs. 08:44.000 --> 08:49.000 Yes, sir. 08:49.000 --> 08:51.000 Could have whupped you if you hadn't tripped me. 08:51.000 --> 08:52.000 Okay. 08:52.000 --> 08:53.000 Now, come back here and sit down. 08:53.000 --> 08:56.000 I want to talk to you. 08:56.000 --> 08:59.000 Whip them fire and squirt and I'll do it again. 08:59.000 --> 09:01.000 You won't. 09:01.000 --> 09:03.000 That's what I want to talk to you about. 09:03.000 --> 09:09.000 Tell you what, you're getting too big to wrestle with boys. 09:09.000 --> 09:11.000 I ain't as big as Jethro. 09:11.000 --> 09:15.000 Big that way, I mean, grown up. 09:15.000 --> 09:17.000 You're a young lady now. 09:17.000 --> 09:23.000 You got to start finding new manners and fixing yourself up real nice and wearing dresses. 09:23.000 --> 09:26.000 Oh, folks would call me a sissy. 09:26.000 --> 09:29.000 It ain't sissy for girls to act like girls. 09:29.000 --> 09:34.000 You see, Ellie, I raised you like a boy and I was wrong to do it. 09:34.000 --> 09:39.000 I reckon every man liked to have a son and you was my only young one. 09:39.000 --> 09:43.000 And when your ma passed away, I just decided to turn you into a boy. 09:43.000 --> 09:47.000 By the time Granny come to help out, you was too wild a team. 09:47.000 --> 09:53.000 By thunder, you could outrun, outclimb, outfight and outshoot every boy in them hills. 09:53.000 --> 09:55.000 I still can, Pop. 09:55.000 --> 09:59.000 Yeah, but it ain't fitting. 09:59.000 --> 10:02.000 It ain't right for folks to go against nature. 10:02.000 --> 10:04.000 Oh, look at old Duke here. 10:04.000 --> 10:06.000 Reckon we could turn him into a cat. 10:06.000 --> 10:09.000 Course not. 10:09.000 --> 10:11.000 That's right. 10:11.000 --> 10:16.000 Nature made him into a dog the same way nature made you into a girl. 10:16.000 --> 10:21.000 And lately she's getting more and more positive about it. 10:21.000 --> 10:23.000 You mean my ears is grown? 10:23.000 --> 10:26.000 No, nothing like that. 10:26.000 --> 10:27.000 You're pretty. 10:27.000 --> 10:29.000 Oh, Pop. 10:29.000 --> 10:36.000 I know you don't like it when I say that, but you'll like it when the young fellas around here come in saying it, and they will. 10:36.000 --> 10:40.000 Only they'll probably be using words, fancy words I won't even understand. 10:40.000 --> 10:47.000 But, Ellie Mae, ain't nobody can ever tell you how pretty you really are, simply. 10:47.000 --> 11:09.000 You're the living picture of your mom. 11:09.000 --> 11:11.000 Oh, here I thought you were going up to the Clampett estate. 11:11.000 --> 11:14.000 I didn't think it prudent for us both to be absent simultaneously. 11:14.000 --> 11:15.000 In the event of crises... 11:15.000 --> 11:19.000 The only crises you have to worry about right now is keeping Mr. J.D. Clampett happy. 11:19.000 --> 11:20.000 Now get up there. 11:20.000 --> 11:23.000 Tell me, how did you like the flamingos? 11:23.000 --> 11:24.000 What flamingos? 11:24.000 --> 11:28.000 I thought pink flamingos around the swimming pool would add a rather elegant touch. 11:28.000 --> 11:31.000 Mr. Clampett is not a man educated to elegance. 11:31.000 --> 11:32.000 That will take time. 11:32.000 --> 11:34.000 Right now there are more pressing problems. 11:34.000 --> 11:37.000 Of course, getting settled, the servant problem. 11:37.000 --> 11:39.000 Whatever they are, just get up there and solve them. 11:39.000 --> 11:41.000 Now, J.D. Clampett is this bank's largest depositor. 11:41.000 --> 11:45.000 And I'm making his satisfaction your responsibility. 11:45.000 --> 11:49.000 I accept the medal of responsibility with which you have cloaked my shoulders. 11:49.000 --> 11:56.000 And I shall so conduct myself that if this great financial institution shall last a thousand years... 11:56.000 --> 12:01.000 This was their finest hour. 12:01.000 --> 12:03.000 And he would, all right. 12:03.000 --> 12:07.000 A lot of pitch and tar in it. It ought to burn real good. 12:07.000 --> 12:10.000 That flimsy grate holds up. 12:10.000 --> 12:11.000 Granny! 12:11.000 --> 12:12.000 Granny! 12:12.000 --> 12:14.000 This is top of that tree trunk. 12:14.000 --> 12:16.000 You want I should split it up too? 12:16.000 --> 12:18.000 No, just leave it outside. 12:18.000 --> 12:19.000 Yes, sir. 12:19.000 --> 12:22.000 This place ain't even got a wood box. 12:22.000 --> 12:24.000 Yeah, folks don't need much wood out here. 12:24.000 --> 12:25.000 Remember what Pearl said? 12:25.000 --> 12:26.000 It don't get cold. 12:26.000 --> 12:28.000 Yeah, I remember. 12:28.000 --> 12:32.000 It might not get cold in the day, but it sure freezes solid at night. 12:32.000 --> 12:33.000 How do you know? 12:33.000 --> 12:39.000 I'll show you how I know. 12:39.000 --> 12:44.000 Ever been a fool in this here storage bin that froze harder than a rock? 12:44.000 --> 12:46.000 Yes. 12:46.000 --> 12:56.000 Look. 12:56.000 --> 13:04.000 Might have thin-skinned hog. 13:04.000 --> 13:06.000 But I'll be dog gone. 13:06.000 --> 13:15.000 Take me two days to thaw out that ham before I can ever cook it. 13:15.000 --> 13:20.000 People ought to know better than store food up against the North Wall. 13:20.000 --> 13:23.000 Tomorrow we'll dig us a root cellar and we'll put all this stuff in it. 13:23.000 --> 13:26.000 Gertrude, go on out there and catch us a chicken. 13:26.000 --> 13:28.000 Okay, Uncle J. 13:28.000 --> 13:30.000 How do you know we got chickens? 13:30.000 --> 13:33.000 A place this size is bound to have chickens. 13:33.000 --> 13:44.000 Ain't no frozen. 13:44.000 --> 14:05.000 Chick, chick, chick, chick, chick, chick, chick. 14:05.000 --> 14:11.000 I eat the chicken. 14:11.000 --> 14:12.000 Here's that bucket. You want it? 14:12.000 --> 14:14.000 You take it, Ellie. See if you can find a creek. 14:14.000 --> 14:16.000 I gotta have some water. 14:16.000 --> 14:17.000 You want a pump on this, please? 14:17.000 --> 14:19.000 It ain't even got a well. 14:19.000 --> 14:20.000 Uncle Jed, Uncle Jed. 14:20.000 --> 14:22.000 Yeah, boy, did you find a chicken? 14:22.000 --> 14:23.000 I found something. 14:23.000 --> 14:26.000 I ain't sure if it's a chicken, a goose, a duck, or a what. 14:26.000 --> 14:27.000 Where is it? 14:27.000 --> 14:29.000 I couldn't catch it. 14:29.000 --> 14:31.000 That thing can outrun a jackrabbit. 14:31.000 --> 14:33.000 There ain't no goose or duck. 14:33.000 --> 14:34.000 Must be a chicken. 14:34.000 --> 14:38.000 If it is, I was right about things growing bigger out here. 14:38.000 --> 14:40.000 That thing was this high. 14:40.000 --> 14:41.000 A chicken? 14:41.000 --> 14:43.000 Yeah, out you through. 14:43.000 --> 14:46.000 Honest, it's got legs this long. 14:46.000 --> 14:47.000 Give us on the drumstick. 14:47.000 --> 14:49.000 The drumstick ain't much. 14:49.000 --> 14:52.000 Whoever gets that neck is eating from now on. 14:52.000 --> 14:54.000 Commences here and runs palm up to here. 14:54.000 --> 15:00.000 You ain't forgot what I said about Granny's jug of liquor. 15:00.000 --> 15:02.000 Ain't been to Granny's jug. 15:02.000 --> 15:03.000 You have your end first. 15:03.000 --> 15:06.000 Honesty, cross my heart. 15:06.000 --> 15:07.000 Where'd you see this chicken? 15:07.000 --> 15:10.000 Down by the cement pond. 15:10.000 --> 15:14.000 Uncle Jed, that pond is the fanciest thing you ever did see. 15:14.000 --> 15:19.000 By there steps, so's the cattle can walk right down into it and get a drink. 15:19.000 --> 15:23.000 And up at one end, there's a lady standing there made out of rock. 15:23.000 --> 15:27.000 And she's a pouring water out of a jar right into that cement pond. 15:27.000 --> 15:28.000 Oh. 15:28.000 --> 15:33.000 Well, that's how come that big old pink chicken to get away from me. 15:33.000 --> 15:38.000 Flew right over the top of that there rock lady, landed in that pond, and swam like an otter. 15:38.000 --> 15:43.000 Just a whopping them big old pink wings of an otter. 15:43.000 --> 15:46.000 What color did you see that chicken walk? 15:46.000 --> 15:48.000 It's pink. 15:48.000 --> 15:52.000 Ain't I told you that stuff would stunt your growth? 15:52.000 --> 15:55.000 Miss Granny, I didn't touch a drop. 15:55.000 --> 15:58.000 You and me is going to the woodshed. 15:58.000 --> 15:59.000 Yes, Ro. 15:59.000 --> 16:01.000 You swear to be telling the truth. 16:01.000 --> 16:04.000 So help me Jefferson Davis. 16:04.000 --> 16:07.000 You're hat off when you speak of the President. 16:07.000 --> 16:10.000 He ain't President no more. 16:10.000 --> 16:14.000 I'll have no Yankee talk in my kitchen. 16:14.000 --> 16:19.000 Now, Jethro, you and me is going back out there and corner that chicken. 16:19.000 --> 16:21.000 Granny, you get the fire to go on. 16:21.000 --> 16:25.000 Ellie Mae, you sweep up out front and keep your eyes open for that Miss Hathaway. 16:25.000 --> 16:28.000 I'm counting on her to take you in hand and get you in the right kind of clothes. 16:28.000 --> 16:32.000 Come on. 16:32.000 --> 16:45.000 Chicken. 16:45.000 --> 16:48.000 You there, young man. 16:48.000 --> 16:51.000 I'm a young man, but I sure do thank you for thanking so. 16:51.000 --> 16:53.000 Good heavens, you're a girl. 16:53.000 --> 16:57.000 I'm Jane Hathaway, Executive Secretary to Mr. Drysdale. 16:57.000 --> 17:01.000 And you, I take it, are a domestic of some sort, cleaning girl, house maid. 17:01.000 --> 17:03.000 Just what are your duties as Mr. Clappett? 17:03.000 --> 17:05.000 Well, he sent me out here to sweep up. 17:05.000 --> 17:08.000 He said you would take me in hand and get me in the right kind of clothes and everything. 17:08.000 --> 17:09.000 Indeed I shall. 17:09.000 --> 17:12.000 We have a complete servant's wardrobe from chef to chauffeur. 17:12.000 --> 17:16.000 Come with me. 17:16.000 --> 17:21.000 What in the name of Thomas Chippendale is this? 17:21.000 --> 17:25.000 Is Mr. Clappett seeing this disgraceful and unsightly mound of debris? 17:25.000 --> 17:27.000 Oh, yes, ma'am. 17:27.000 --> 17:30.000 This is all his. 17:30.000 --> 17:34.000 Oh, what charming antiques. 17:34.000 --> 17:39.000 Just like he said, you threw a rock lady pouring water into a cement pond. 17:39.000 --> 17:41.000 Yes, sir. 17:41.000 --> 17:44.000 And over there is where I seen that great big pink chicken. 17:44.000 --> 17:46.000 Only thing is, it don't sound like a chicken. 17:46.000 --> 18:02.000 It makes a kind of hollering noise. 18:02.000 --> 18:06.000 Reckon you'd make a hollering noise, too, if you was to lay egg like that. 18:06.000 --> 18:08.000 Mine, oh mine. 18:08.000 --> 18:11.000 That's what I call an egg. 18:11.000 --> 18:18.000 Don't have to worry about food now. 18:18.000 --> 18:23.000 The way she cooks it. 18:23.000 --> 18:26.000 That lame city stove don't draw worth nothing. 18:26.000 --> 18:28.000 Hey, look at this egg. 18:28.000 --> 18:30.000 What's all the smoke? 18:30.000 --> 18:33.000 Stove don't work. 18:33.000 --> 18:35.000 Probably just a stuffed up flu. 18:35.000 --> 18:36.000 Ain't got a flu. 18:36.000 --> 18:38.000 Ain't even got a stovepipe. 18:38.000 --> 18:41.000 Get the shovel and a hoe and rake it out of there. 18:41.000 --> 18:53.000 You keep this egg. 18:53.000 --> 18:55.000 Just like everything else out here. 18:55.000 --> 19:02.000 Throw solid. 19:02.000 --> 19:04.000 Really, my dear, you look quite charming. 19:04.000 --> 19:08.000 Well, I feel like a dad-blamed fool. 19:08.000 --> 19:09.000 Just a moment. 19:09.000 --> 19:10.000 You can stop now. 19:10.000 --> 19:12.000 I'll be right back. 19:12.000 --> 19:14.000 Oh, that was my pa. 19:14.000 --> 19:15.000 I take it he's a gardener. 19:15.000 --> 19:16.000 Oh, yes, ma'am. 19:16.000 --> 19:19.000 Pa just can't wait to commence gardening. 19:19.000 --> 19:20.000 Apparently. 19:20.000 --> 19:25.000 However, as though I admire his enthusiasm, I must forbid him access to the main entrance. 19:25.000 --> 19:28.000 Now, tell me about the rest of the staff. 19:28.000 --> 19:29.000 Is there a chauffeur? 19:29.000 --> 19:30.000 A what? 19:30.000 --> 19:32.000 Someone who does the driving. 19:32.000 --> 19:33.000 Oh, yes, ma'am. 19:33.000 --> 19:34.000 That's Jethro. 19:34.000 --> 19:37.000 Of course, I don't reckon he can stay around very long. 19:37.000 --> 19:40.000 He's got to get back to Oxford and go to school. 19:40.000 --> 19:43.000 Oxford? 19:43.000 --> 19:45.000 He attends Oxford University? 19:45.000 --> 19:48.000 Well, he just calls it school. 19:48.000 --> 19:50.000 Pa went to school there, too. 19:50.000 --> 19:51.000 Oh, yes. 19:51.000 --> 19:53.000 Old school time. 19:53.000 --> 19:56.000 Great pride, those Oxford men. 19:56.000 --> 20:00.000 Sorry I couldn't stop before Granny was having trouble in the kitchen. 20:00.000 --> 20:03.000 Pa, do I have to wear this year's stuff that Miss Happy went to? 20:03.000 --> 20:04.000 No, no. 20:04.000 --> 20:06.000 There can be no appeal for Mr. Plampett's orders. 20:06.000 --> 20:07.000 Thank you, ma'am. 20:07.000 --> 20:10.000 Glad to see you're taking the firm hand. 20:10.000 --> 20:12.000 That's right pretty. 20:12.000 --> 20:14.000 Makes you look taller. 20:14.000 --> 20:17.000 She's got me walking on pegs. 20:17.000 --> 20:19.000 We'll run in and show Granny. 20:19.000 --> 20:25.000 And get rid of those old clothes, dear. 20:25.000 --> 20:26.000 Granny, I presume, is the cook. 20:26.000 --> 20:29.000 Yes, ma'am, but she ain't too happy about it right now. 20:29.000 --> 20:31.000 I'll deal with her directly. 20:31.000 --> 20:32.000 Now, let's see. 20:32.000 --> 20:35.000 Maid, gardener, cook, chauffeur. 20:35.000 --> 20:38.000 Oh, I understand Jethro is an Oxford man. 20:38.000 --> 20:40.000 You bet he is. 20:40.000 --> 20:42.000 I'm quite anxious to meet him. 20:42.000 --> 20:43.000 Don't blame you. 20:43.000 --> 20:45.000 Fine-looking young fella. 20:45.000 --> 20:46.000 Single, too. 20:46.000 --> 20:49.000 And he's on the lookout for a girl. 20:49.000 --> 20:54.000 I'm only interested in the intellectual rapport which I would naturally have with an Oxford man. 20:54.000 --> 20:57.000 I presume he went to Eton as a boy. 20:57.000 --> 21:01.000 If I know Jethro, he went to Eton the minute he was born. 21:01.000 --> 21:03.000 Yes, of course. 21:03.000 --> 21:06.000 I suppose his father matriculated him. 21:06.000 --> 21:08.000 I kind of think maybe it was his mom. 21:08.000 --> 21:09.000 Oh, no. 21:09.000 --> 21:10.000 No matter. 21:10.000 --> 21:13.000 At any rate, he's an Eton man. 21:13.000 --> 21:14.000 That he is. 21:14.000 --> 21:18.000 Matter of fact, Jethro won the Eton championship. 21:18.000 --> 21:19.000 Oh, marvelous. 21:19.000 --> 21:20.000 What was he champion of? 21:20.000 --> 21:22.000 Eton. 21:22.000 --> 21:23.000 Yes, I know. 21:23.000 --> 21:24.000 But what was it? 21:24.000 --> 21:25.000 Cricket? 21:25.000 --> 21:28.000 Oh, no, no. It was crawdad. 21:28.000 --> 21:29.000 No. 21:29.000 --> 21:32.000 I don't think even Jethro did crickets. 21:32.000 --> 21:34.000 I was referring to the game. 21:34.000 --> 21:37.000 Gilead, Gilead, where's the axe? 21:37.000 --> 21:40.000 I'm fetching, Granny. You talk to Miss Hathaway. 21:40.000 --> 21:42.000 And just why does Cook need an axe? 21:42.000 --> 21:44.000 I've hit this with everything I could lay a hand to. 21:44.000 --> 21:47.000 I even whopped it with an iron skillet. 21:47.000 --> 21:51.000 You are supposed to hit it with a croquet mallet. 21:51.000 --> 21:53.000 All right. Where is it? 21:53.000 --> 21:55.000 I don't think I'll tell you. 21:55.000 --> 21:59.000 There is a time for work and a time for play. 21:59.000 --> 22:02.000 Now then, what are we cooking for Mr. Clavett? 22:02.000 --> 22:04.000 Well, I don't know what you're cooking him, 22:04.000 --> 22:08.000 but if he wants any vittles from me, somebody better shoot a possum. 22:08.000 --> 22:09.000 Possum? 22:09.000 --> 22:11.000 You got a better idea? 22:11.000 --> 22:14.000 But of course. A nice big fluffy souffle. 22:14.000 --> 22:15.000 All right. 22:15.000 --> 22:17.000 You shoot it and you skin it. 22:17.000 --> 22:20.000 You don't even know what a souffle is. 22:20.000 --> 22:22.000 What kind of a cook are you? 22:22.000 --> 22:25.000 I'm a cook with a stove that don't draw, 22:25.000 --> 22:27.000 food that's froze solid, 22:27.000 --> 22:29.000 chickens that can't be caught, 22:29.000 --> 22:31.000 eggs that can't be broke, 22:31.000 --> 22:34.000 and a smart, alicky city woman telling me my business. 22:34.000 --> 22:36.000 That's what kind of a cook I am. 22:36.000 --> 22:38.000 Mind your tongue, little woman. 22:38.000 --> 22:40.000 I can have your job. 22:40.000 --> 22:43.000 You sure can, and the sooner the better. 22:43.000 --> 22:45.000 Get those coming and just wait till you see what he's got. 22:45.000 --> 22:49.000 Thank heaven. Now I can have an intelligent conversation. 22:49.000 --> 22:52.000 Look, Granny, I caught that big chicken. 22:52.000 --> 22:54.000 Well, I hope it ain't as tough as its eggs. 22:54.000 --> 22:56.000 It's fat as a flamingo. 22:56.000 --> 22:58.000 Oh, no, ma'am, that's my nephew, Jethro. 22:58.000 --> 23:00.000 Get close and you'll load him his hands away. 23:00.000 --> 23:02.000 Howdy, ma'am. 23:02.000 --> 23:05.000 This the big, dangest chicken you ever did see. 23:05.000 --> 23:08.000 Did you go to school at Oxford? 23:08.000 --> 23:10.000 Yes, ma'am. I'm in fifth grade. 23:10.000 --> 23:13.000 Stop, Granny, and break that chicken's neck. 23:13.000 --> 23:14.000 Mary, may I? 23:14.000 --> 23:16.000 No, stop, you mongrel. 23:16.000 --> 23:18.000 Don't harm one feather of that beautiful bird. 23:18.000 --> 23:20.000 I'm gonna eat him just about as much as I'm gonna take from you. 23:20.000 --> 23:21.000 Yeah, Granny. 23:21.000 --> 23:24.000 Ellie, you get the fire going under the big kettle outdoors. 23:24.000 --> 23:26.000 Young lady, where is your maid's uniform? 23:26.000 --> 23:27.000 I ain't gone away. 23:27.000 --> 23:28.000 Oh, yes, you are. 23:28.000 --> 23:29.000 No, I ain't. 23:29.000 --> 23:31.000 Oh, yes, you are, if I must subdue you forcefully. 23:31.000 --> 23:33.000 I wouldn't try that. 23:33.000 --> 23:34.000 Don't! 23:34.000 --> 23:36.000 Don't! 23:36.000 --> 23:41.000 Doctor, you hurt me. 23:41.000 --> 23:43.000 I'll settle him, Ellie. 23:43.000 --> 23:44.000 Let me! 23:44.000 --> 23:46.000 Here, here, Granny. 23:46.000 --> 23:49.000 Oh, let her up. Get off of me. 23:49.000 --> 23:52.000 You are discharged! 23:52.000 --> 23:55.000 All of you, sacked, fired! 23:55.000 --> 23:59.000 And you are the most incompetent, insubordinate, voluntary group of domestics 23:59.000 --> 24:00.000 it has ever been my misfortune. 24:00.000 --> 24:01.000 Miss Hathaway! 24:01.000 --> 24:04.000 Ah, Chief, you're just in time to help me take disciplinary action. 24:04.000 --> 24:05.000 You're fired. 24:05.000 --> 24:06.000 I've already told them. 24:06.000 --> 24:08.000 Not them, you. 24:08.000 --> 24:11.000 Those people are the Clampetts. 24:11.000 --> 24:12.000 Clampetts? 24:12.000 --> 24:13.000 Yes, that's right. 24:13.000 --> 24:16.000 Now go back to the office and pick up your severance pay. You are through. 24:16.000 --> 24:19.000 Now, Mr. Drysdale, hold on a spell. 24:19.000 --> 24:22.000 I reckon there's been a kind of a misunderstanding. 24:22.000 --> 24:25.000 But this little lady's been a right big help to us. 24:25.000 --> 24:29.000 Why, she fit in just like one of the family. 24:29.000 --> 24:33.000 Matter of fact, her and me is going out hunting. 24:33.000 --> 24:35.000 Ain't that right, Miss Hathaway? 24:35.000 --> 24:38.000 Yes, and... 24:38.000 --> 24:44.000 Yep, uh, Jithro, you can take that pink chicken back out to the cement pond. 24:44.000 --> 25:13.000 We're going out to shoot us a nice big fluffy soup leg. 25:14.000 --> 25:15.000 You're fired. 25:15.000 --> 25:16.000 I've already told them. 25:16.000 --> 25:17.000 Not them, you. 25:17.000 --> 25:18.000 Those people are the Clampetts. 25:18.000 --> 25:19.000 Clampetts? 25:19.000 --> 25:20.000 Yes, that's right. 25:20.000 --> 25:21.000 Now go back to the office and pick up your severance pay. You are through. 25:21.000 --> 25:22.000 Now, Mr. Drysdale, hold on a spell. 25:22.000 --> 25:23.000 I reckon there's been a kind of a misunderstanding. 25:23.000 --> 25:24.000 But this little lady's been a right big help to us. 25:24.000 --> 25:25.000 Why, she fit in just like one of the family. 25:25.000 --> 25:26.000 Ain't that right, Miss Hathaway? 25:26.000 --> 25:27.000 Yep, and... 25:27.000 --> 25:28.000 Yep, and... 25:28.000 --> 25:29.000 Yep, and... 25:29.000 --> 25:30.000 Yep, and... 25:30.000 --> 25:31.000 Yep, and... 25:31.000 --> 25:32.000 Yep, and... 25:32.000 --> 25:33.000 Yep, and... 25:33.000 --> 25:34.000 Yep, and... 25:34.000 --> 25:35.000 Yep, and... 25:35.000 --> 25:36.000 Yep, and... 25:36.000 --> 25:37.000 Yep, and... 25:37.000 --> 25:38.000 Yep, and... 25:38.000 --> 25:39.000 Yep, and... 25:39.000 --> 25:40.000 Yep, and...