Ladies and gentlemen, the secret word tonight is door. D-O-O-R. Really? You'll
bet your life!
The DeSoto Plymouth Dealers of America present Roucho Marx in You'll Bet Your
Life. The comedy quiz series produced and transcribed from Hollywood. And here he
is, the one, the only... Roucho! He's the egg the Easter Bunny brought. Oh that's me,
Roucho Marx!
Thank you. Well here I am again with $1,500 for one of our couples. George
Fanneman, who gets first crack at all that money? We invited some steel workers and
some ice men to the program tonight and just before we went on the air our
studio audience selected Iceman Ray Morgan and steel man Dan Daniel.
Gentlemen, meet Roucho Marx. Welcome boys for the DeSoto Plymouth Dealers. And if
one of you says the secret word you divide $100 in cash. It's a common word,
something you see every day. Mr. Ray Morgan, you're the ice man? Yes sir. Where
do you work? I work for Union Ice Company in Hollywood. What do you do? Oh we make
and deliver ice. Oh. How do you make ice? Oh we put water in tanks. You're welcome.
You're sort of an American institution aren't you? How many housewives still
look forward to the ice man every morning? Oh thousands of them. Thousands?
How many of them take ice?
Now Mr. Daniel, what sort of work do you do? Steel worker. You work at steel? You
mean you're a crook? Why do you commit all this last in a year?
US Steel Works. US Steel Works? Yes. Are you married? Yes sir. How'd you meet your
wife? Did you steal her too? Well I met her on a blind date. I had a date with her
sister and I went out and the fellows had me tingled up and they tingled the
girls up and I met the girls up and I get the one I was supposed not to
get and the one that I got I got.
America. America girl. You could work for the State Department. What is your job as a
steel worker? I'm an open-hearth operator. Open-hearth? I help the melter. You help
the melter huh? At the smelter? No, there's no smelter. That's only when the melter is in a
swelter at the smelter is that right? Why don't you have a smelter? We don't have any
pig iron. Well if you don't have any pig iron obviously you have no use for a
smelter. Why don't you have pig iron? We don't have any iron or... Iron or what?
Iron or hogs? Now what do you do? How do you help the melter? I help in charge of
the furnace. Why does he charge the furnace? Why doesn't he pay cash for it?
What do you charge the furnace with? Seltzer? The scrap... well the charging ram. You mean you
have a trained goat? Now start from the beginning. Well the scrap is brought up in
charging buggies and we use the ram... Brought up in what? In charging buggies.
Charging buggies? Yeah. What is a charging buggy? I never heard of it. That's electrically
operated ram. Why do you say you got my goat? I don't know. Okay now you got... now
what happens? Well I help the... that's where I come in really is as a first
helper when we charge the furnace well I take over there and melt this scrap
down. Where does the word pig come from in connection with this? Well... You have to be
hammy to make it? Well that's that's good. Frankly you don't know is that it?
That's right. You've been shoveling that Schweiner iron or that finest all these years?
And you're having the faintest idea why it's called pig iron? I know why it's called pig iron. It's called put in a trough.
Put in a trough? Oh now. Yes it's put in a trough and cooled down. And the pig goes for the trough is that it?
Now Rusty if you had to do it all over again would you go back into the steel
business? Yes Mr. Marks I would. Why would you? Well... I know the pig iron I know that...
Well everything... Everything that we have today is basically steel not
everything but most of it. Not French pastry. Well steel is something that's here to stay
and all of these fine cars is made of the best steel and you just can't get rid
of it. That's the truth. 23 years for US Steel and it's been a fine company to work for.
That's true. I hear they haven't got a quarter huh? Well let's forget about America's
industry for now in just one minute you're going to work together for a
chance at 1,500 bucks which is more important.
When you stop in at any of the more than 3,000 DeSoto Plymouth dealers it makes no
difference how big or how small the service job to be done. The important
thing is these dealers appreciate your call and to prove it they make it their
business to please you in every way they can. To do this they offer you the benefit
of not only the best tools and equipment not only the factory trained mechanics
but they offer you courtesy and a fair deal. Being courteous and thoughtful
being fair and square is their creed their way of doing business. So wherever
you drive remember across this nation are more than 3,000 DeSoto Plymouth
dealers each with an honest desire to serve you and remember all dealers who
sell DeSoto also sell Plymouth.
Now let's see if you two will get a chance at the $1,500 Fanneman bring them
up to date on the rules. Each of our three couples has $20 they bet as much
of that 20 as they want on each of four questions. The couple that earns the most
money gets a chance at the DeSoto Plymouth $1,500 question at the end of
the show. Our other two couples are in a waiting room off stage so they don't
know what's happening out here. Here we go let's see how high you can build your $20
you selected sports personalities as your category is that right? Now you have $20
here's your first question how much of the 20 will you bet? $5. In what sport is
Sam Snead famous? Golf. Golf is right.
They have $25 now. Remember you're going for $1,500 a night how much of the 25
would it try? Let's take 15 this time. 15. He doesn't agree with him he's liable to hit him over the head with an ingot.
In what sport is Jack Kramer famous? Tennis. Tennis is right.
They're climbing the rock till they have $40. All right you got $40. How much you're gonna bet on this one?
Here's your third question how much of the $40? $30. $30. In what sport is Johnny
Longdon famous? Horse racing. Horse racing is right.
They're really climbing now they have $70. All right now you've got $70 now how much of the 70 you're gonna try?
Sure, 70 bucks. $70? The bull works. In what sport is Ralph Kiner famous? Baseball. Baseball is right.
And they wind up with a grand total of $140.
Thanks and good luck from the DeSoto Plymouth Dealers. Stick around now you may get the chance at the big question.
Groucho the secret word is still door. Perhaps the next couple will say it.
Just before we went on the air our studio audience selected a baby photographer and a young mother and here they are
Mrs. Linda Sutton and Mr. Newell Morris meet Groucho Marx. Welcome to You Bet Your Life folks.
And if one of you says the secret word at any time you divide $100 between you. It's a common word something you use you see every day.
Well let's see Mr. Newell Morris that must be you. Baby photographer. Where are you from baby? I'm a native.
How many babies do you photograph on an average day? Oh I snap around 10 or 15.
You go on snapping at babies? Well at least you're a candid photographer.
And Mrs. Linda Sutton. Very pretty name and a very pretty girl. Have you always been this pretty?
That's my mother. Well drag her out I will.
Where are you from Mrs. Sutton? I'm from outside of Boston. Where is outside of Boston?
Well I'm just on the edge of the Cape. Well I got you don't fall off.
You're a young mother is that right? That's right. How old are you Linda? I'm 27.
And how old is your baby? Well they were a year Christmas day. I have twins. Twin boys. Oh you have twins.
And how old is your husband? He's 28. 28? You know what a steal ingot is? You say your husband is in the steal business?
No he's a lineman for the telephone company. Which phone company does he work for? Well there's only one.
No that's not true. There are many phone companies. You ought to have your husband wise you up to some of these things.
You can't just go on having twins you know. There are other things.
In other words he works for AT&T is that it? How did you meet him? Oh I met him I was fishing for eels.
And that's the best you could do? I come from a family of six. I'm the only girl. I have five brothers.
And they're always...my big brother... Thanks for the warning Mr. Sexton. My big brother was going to...
Just how big is your big brother? Well I have five. Any size you want I got them.
Now then we were on the eels. Well my mother wanted us to go get some eels. Not to eat but just to feed our cats.
We had nine cats. Nine cats and only five brothers? That isn't even two cats apiece.
Well anyway my brother took me along so I could watch my little brother. Because as soon as I got there my big brother went away.
I think he went talking to some girls or something. Really? And my other brother... You mean he preferred girls to eels?
Can't be much of a man that brother. And he came back in a little while and he had this other fellow with him.
And he says, hey sis this is Sexton. So he reached into the bucket that he had and he pulled out this great big long eel.
And he threw it at me. And I guess he meant me to catch it. But anyway it hit me right in the face.
Is that considered romance in Massachusetts?
Had strange customs in New England. Slapping a girl in the kisser with an eel I never thought was...
Was just the right way to get introduced to a girl. Do you work Mrs. Sutton?
Well yes I do. I have a pot time job as a chocolate dipper.
I beg your pardon. What did you say you dip?
Chocolates.
You dip chocolates? Dip them in what?
Chocolate. I work with nuts. You take three nuts...
Mrs. Sutton you don't think that I don't.
I've worked with more nuts than you will ever see.
A girl tells me that she gets married because somebody slapped her in the kisser with an eel.
Well... Are you...
Mr. I've been neglecting you Mr. This was such a fascinating saga of love in New England that I couldn't get away from it.
You say you're a baby photographer Mr. Morris?
That's right.
How do you go about taking a baby's picture?
Well if they're about 12 pounds well you pop them up on a pillow to start.
If they're under 12 what do you do throw them back?
Are babies like adults in that you can occasionally have to retouch baby's pictures?
Oh yes you occasionally retouch babies.
How do you do it?
Well you have to take out the bags under their eyes and stray here.
You mean those kids have bags under their eyes?
What they got for staying up all night huh? Getting in a bottle.
A lot of those kids are old soaks.
Who takes the pictures in your family? You or your husband?
Well I take them of him and he takes them of me.
Well that's the only way you can do it huh?
Unless you have arms eight feet long.
Well who takes the best pictures? You or your husband?
Well I do. The pictures he takes they don't look like me.
What do you mean they don't look like you?
Well last summer he took a picture of me in a bathing suit and it didn't look like me at all.
Were you under water at the time?
What was the matter with the picture?
It was too light.
Give us the low down there Mr. Morris. What was the matter with the picture of Mrs. Sutton?
It must have been an over exposure.
Maybe that's why she was under the water.
Well I know all about snapping at babies. Now let's see how snappy you two are with your answers.
You're going to play you bet your life for the chance of $1,500.
The DeSoto Plymouth question.
You run your $20 and the more than the other couples and you get a chance at the big question.
I can't tell you how much our first couple won but Fanneman is off stage to remind our listeners.
The Iceman and the Steelworker earned $140.
Here we go. Let's see how high you can build your $20.
You selected capitals of states as your category. Is that right?
Now you got $20. How much are you going to risk?
$15.
What is the capital of Kentucky?
Frankfurt.
Frankfurt is right.
On their way they have $35.
How much of the 35 will you try?
30.
What's the capital of South Dakota?
Pierre.
Pierre is right.
They're starting to climb. They have $65.
How much are you going to try?
60.
60. You don't care what he says anymore.
What is the capital of Vermont?
Montpelier.
Montpelier is right.
Now they have $125.
No kissing until the show is over.
I'll go. The whole thing.
Shoot it.
Rack-a-Roon here. You've got $125 and you're going to try for this one.
What is the capital of North Dakota?
Bismarck.
Bismarck is right.
And they wind up with a grand total of $250.
Thanks and good luck from the DeSoto Plymouth dealers.
Now we'll soon know who gets the chance at the $1,500 question.
And now a word from the more than 3,000 DeSoto Plymouth dealers.
Just a minute, Fannie.
If each dealer has a worry that will be 3,000 and this is only a half hour program.
Well, Groucho, actually words can't do justice to the skill service you get when you drive your car into an authorized DeSoto Plymouth dealer's place of business.
In that case, this is the only program in radio that doesn't need an announcer.
What I mean, Groucho, is that one must experience how the skill DeSoto Plymouth mechanics working with the finest equipment can save time and money on your car.
One must experience. Shouldn't we try to get a few more people into the DeSoto Plymouth dealers, maybe three or four?
Oh, you know what I mean.
So does everybody else. So on with the show. Who's ahead in the battle for the $1,000?
The housewife and the baby photographer are leading with $250 and the secret word is still door.
We invited some Belgian war brides and their ex-GI husbands to the show tonight.
And just before we went on the air, our studio audience selected Mr. and Mrs. Chico Tellez.
Folks, meet Groucho Marx.
Welcome, youngsters, for the DeSoto Plymouth dealers. And if you say the secret word while we're talking, you'll win $100.
It's a common word, something you see every day.
Mrs. Tellez, is that the way you pronounce it?
That's right.
Tellez, you're a Belgian war bride. Where are you from?
I'm from Belgium.
This is what I suspected. I mean, what part of Belgium are you from?
From Molenbeek, St. John.
Is that anywhere near Brussels?
Well, you know, in a country so small, most anything would be close to Brussels.
Oh, I don't know. How about Detroit? That's pretty far from Brussels.
Yeah, I guess so.
You're the Belgian war groom, I presume, eh?
Chico?
No, I'm not.
Say, I used to have a brother named Chico.
Well, it wasn't me.
It wasn't you?
No.
Could be.
Chico Tellez, eh? What kind of a name? That's not a Belgian name, eh? What nationality is this?
It's a Spanish name.
Where are you from?
Mexico.
I suppose you were married in Hungary, eh?
What kind of work do you do, Chico? Are you in love happy?
I'm a student at Arsena and I'm a photographer.
What sort of work did you do in Belgium before you were captured by Chico here?
I was a secretary.
You were a secretary?
Mm-hmm.
What were you doing for Uncle Sam when you met Lillian?
I was in the signal corps in the photographic section in the army, of course.
Were you right up front?
Naturally, I couldn't get out of there.
Do you have any little Brussels sprouts, Lillian?
Brussels sprouts?
No, not yet.
You have a delightful accent, Lillian. You speak English very well.
Thank you.
How long did it take you to learn it?
About three years.
Three years. Very quick to learn. Do you speak any other languages?
Yes, French and German.
I speak a number of languages myself, you know.
Should we have a little conversation in Belgium?
In what?
In Belgium. Just you and I.
In Belgium? That would be impossible.
Don't you speak Belgian?
Nobody speaks Belgian. There isn't such a language.
Well, frankly, I don't speak it very well myself.
Why don't the Belgians have a tongue of their own?
That's because there are two types of people in Belgium.
Men and women?
No, that's not what I mean.
They don't have men and women in Belgium?
Yes, they do.
You better clear up this whole thing, Lillian.
Well, yeah, they have men and women, all right, but what I mean by two types is that they have Walloon and Flemish people, and they both have a different language, see?
Well, could you say something in Flemish? Could you tell me a short joke?
Well, I'm from the French part. I don't know Flemish very well.
Could you tell me a short joke in French?
In French? Yes, I could.
What's that one?
You mean in French, right?
Yeah, and then tell me what it means.
Oh! I guess I can get away with it. Well...
Well, clean it up a little, will you?
Do you know the story of a gentleman who was woken up at 3 a.m. by the telephone at 3 a.m. and realized that it was the wrong number?
The gentleman at the other end of the line apologizes for the wrong number and for what he has done.
At first, it didn't matter. Anyway, I had to get up to answer the phone.
Chico, did you understand that?
Oui, monsieur.
He's really a brilliant linguist, isn't he?
Well, Chico, explain in English what she just told in French.
I think she can explain it better.
Lillian, he's shoving it over on you.
Yes.
You tell me what you said. Something about the telephone, I guess.
Yeah, there was something about it. Well, it's all about the telephone, in fact.
The what?
Well, it's about a story of the man that was woken by the telephone ringing at 3 o'clock in the morning.
And so he went to answer it, you know, and he found out it was the wrong number.
So the man at the other line excused himself and apologized because he had, you know, woken him up.
So he said, oh, it's all right. You perfectly excused. I had to get up anyhow to answer the phone.
Well, if Leopold is smart, he'll never come back to Belgium.
Now that you've lived in California, Lillian, what do you think of Americans?
And speak frankly, I'll probably go to jail, but it'll be worth it.
Oh, you won't go to jail for what I say.
No. How do American men compare with Belgian men as husbands?
Well, they're very different, very different. You see, a Belgian husband is there.
He has a layer of superiority and he doesn't want to help his wife in the housework or anything like that.
And he's just the boss, you know, that's all.
And which system do you prefer?
Oh, I think America is a wonderful country for women.
And that's just who it belongs to, too.
Chico, you were a sucker. You never should have left Belgium.
Well, it's really been very interesting having you both here tonight, and I wish you a long and happy married life.
Now, you're going to try for a chance at the $1,500 question.
Beat the other two couples and you win the chance at all that money.
I can't tell you how much our other two couples won, but Fennem is going to remind our listeners.
The housewife and the baby photographer are ahead with $250.
Here we go. Let's see how high I can build you $20.
You selected composers of operas as your category.
Yes.
All right, now you have $20. How much are you going to try?
Well, we don't want...
Is that all right, Chico?
I suppose so.
All right, who was the composer of Carmen?
Aline.
Embrace de main?
No.
I got Aline Gallidou.
No, I...
I'm sorry, it was Bizet.
Oh, yes.
You were too Bizet to remember that.
Well, now you've only got $10. Remember, you're going for $1,500 tonight.
Now, how much of the $10 will you try?
$5.
$5. Who was the composer of Lohengrin?
That's a good question.
Wait, wait. Ganesh! Ganesh! Ganesh!
Ganesh.
Wagner.
Wagner is right.
Well, they're gaining their money back. They now have $15.
Chico, that was not only a good question, that was a good answer, too.
Okay, now you've got $15. Here's your third question. How much of the $15 will you bet?
And remember, either of you can answer this question.
$5.
You're going to bet $5, huh?
$10.
You're back in Belgium. He's the boss over there.
All right, who was the composer of The Marriage of Figaro?
Oh. Couldn't be Mozart, no.
Mozart is right.
$25.
Now you've got $25, and here's your last chance to beat the other couples. How much of the $25 will you risk?
$15.
Who was the composer of Rigoletto?
Is it Verdi?
Verdi is right.
And they wind up with $40.
And that means the housewife and the baby photographer with $250 get the chance at the DeSoto Plymouth $1,500 question.
Three things you can always count on when you visit any one of the DeSoto Plymouth dealers.
Efficient service, courteous service, service at a fair price.
These dealers are equipped and eager to give your car the very best in service, no matter how major or how simple a repair job.
DeSoto Plymouth dealers have factory-trained mechanics who know your car inside and out, regardless of what make or what year it happens to be.
And in the hands of these expert mechanics are the most modern tools and equipment made.
In other words, you can always count on really top service when you drive your car in at the sign of any authorized DeSoto Plymouth dealer.
And here's the housewife and the baby photographer, the winning couple, all ready for the DeSoto Plymouth $1,500 question, Groucho.
All right, here's the lady with the eels and the chocolate dips and we'll see how smart you are now.
Here we go for $1,500. I'll give you 15 seconds to decide on a single answer between you, so think carefully and please no help from the audience.
Here it is. In the original Constitution of the United States, there are seven articles.
How many amendments have been added to the Constitution? You must tell me exactly.
All right, what is the answer you two have decided upon? 22. No, no, I'm so awfully close.
There are 21 amendments to the Constitution. I'm sorry, that's the correct answer, 21 amendments.
So that means the big question next week will be worth $2,000. Well, you lost the big money, but you won $250 in the quiz.
Congratulations and thanks to both of you.
You Bet Your Life is a John Goodell production transcribed from Hollywood, directed by Robert Duan and Bernie Smith.
Music by Jerry Fielding. Be sure to tune in again next Wednesday night at this time for the Groucho Marx Show, You Bet Your Life.
Presented by the more than 3,000 DeSoto Plymouth dealers of America.
And remember, all dealers who sell DeSoto also sell Plymouth. Two great cars, both products of the Chrysler Corporation.
And don't forget, next week the big question will be worth $2,000.
I'd like to thank the readers of Radio Mirror Magazine for voting our show the best of its kind on the air.
Well, Bing Crosby's all tuned up and ready to go, so good night folks and remember, just be sure to see your DeSoto Plymouth dealer.
Folks, here's a tip from the National Safety Council. If you can't control your temper, you can't control your driving.
This is George Fenomen signing off with more than 3,000 DeSoto Plymouth dealers from coast to coast.
Bye.