1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,627 Previously on Your Face is a Saxophone 2 00:00:02,630 --> 00:00:09,375 Look, Boss, Andrew is, uh, enthusiastic, but things just really haven't been the same since we lost Tommy. 3 00:00:09,378 --> 00:00:10,627 -Hi, Eddie? -Yes! 4 00:00:10,630 --> 00:00:11,627 So you're the new Tommy? 5 00:00:11,630 --> 00:00:14,000 Oh, dude, you gotta check this out, look look look, check it out, check it out, bro. 6 00:00:14,003 --> 00:00:15,795 It means "awesome" in Asian. 7 00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:22,711 I'm the big man around here! I make the decisions! And I get the big, fat bonus at the end of the fiscal year! 8 00:00:22,714 --> 00:00:23,840 Andrew is a prick. 9 00:00:23,843 --> 00:00:27,000 Your cut is...zero dollars and zero cents, Mr. Boulder! 10 00:00:27,003 --> 00:00:28,210 Go die in a fire. 11 00:00:28,213 --> 00:00:30,420 This is not the kind of reputation we should be spreading! 12 00:00:30,423 --> 00:00:32,210 Do you have a better idea, dick-smack? 13 00:00:32,213 --> 00:00:34,042 I do! We should be nice to people! 14 00:00:34,045 --> 00:00:36,168 How 'bout we A/B this? 15 00:00:36,171 --> 00:00:39,840 We'll go with your strategy, then with Andrew's strategy, and see what the data says. 16 00:00:39,843 --> 00:00:42,252 You're goin' DOWN, bitch! 17 00:00:42,255 --> 00:00:43,420 You have a three-inch penis. 18 00:01:05,546 --> 00:01:08,630 Hey! Pap smear! Send me that CPM report from yesterday! 19 00:01:11,378 --> 00:01:14,420 Normally, I'd just ignore you, but… 20 00:01:14,882 --> 00:01:16,420 WHAT did you call me? 21 00:01:16,630 --> 00:01:18,072 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why I said it. Anyway! 22 00:01:18,075 --> 00:01:19,627 CPM report! Email it! Chop chop! 23 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,000 It's on the server! Get it yourself! 24 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,420 Uh huh. Yeah. 25 00:01:27,00 --> 00:01:30,072 So. Hey. You wanna get dinner tonight? 26 00:01:30,075 --> 00:01:34,210 Isn't there a sexual harassment policy in this office? 27 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,630 Geez! I'm just askin' if you wanna get dinner. 28 00:01:37,633 --> 00:01:42,630 You have asked me that EVERY single day since I broke up with you 29 00:01:42,633 --> 00:01:45,840 And EVERY single time, I have responded 30 00:01:45,843 --> 00:01:49,420 With some permutation of "Go fuck yourself!" 31 00:01:49,630 --> 00:01:54,420 Why don't you use your chart-making skills and analyze that trend?¡ 32 00:01:56,630 --> 00:01:58,420 So…you wanna get dinner? 33 00:01:58,630 --> 00:02:01,000 I wanna stab you in the testicles. 34 00:02:01,252 --> 00:02:03,072 Helvetica's totally better than Myriad! 35 00:02:03,075 --> 00:02:05,630 Are you kidding? It's boring. Everyone uses it now. 36 00:02:05,633 --> 00:02:08,207 Yeah, why do think everyone uses it? 'Cause it's awesome! 37 00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:12,000 It's cliché. And besides, it's all bland and square-y and… 38 00:02:12,003 --> 00:02:13,840 I don't know, it's just too Grotesque for me. 39 00:02:13,843 --> 00:02:17,210 -It's not gross! How is it gross? It's not gross at all! -Blake! Get back to work! 40 00:02:17,630 --> 00:02:19,840 I don't have any work! You haven't given us a project yet. 41 00:02:19,843 --> 00:02:22,000 You don't look busy! Employees are supposed to look busy! 42 00:02:22,003 --> 00:02:25,333 -B-b-but I-- -No buts! I'm a boss! I'm acting like a boss! Go act like you're busy! 43 00:02:25,336 --> 00:02:26,420 Aww… 44 00:02:27,378 --> 00:02:29,210 Eddie! Are you working? Are you hard at work? 45 00:02:29,213 --> 00:02:31,630 Well, we don't have a project yet, so actually I'm just -- 46 00:02:31,633 --> 00:02:33,504 You look like you're working! Keep up the good work! 47 00:02:36,630 --> 00:02:38,072 Hey! There we go! 48 00:02:38,714 --> 00:02:40,000 [BOSS:] Leora! Are you working? 49 00:02:42,378 --> 00:02:44,420 Hellllllo there! 50 00:02:47,588 --> 00:02:49,000 -Ow! -Sorry! 51 00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:52,630 Okay, team! I'm glad we all had such a productive morning! 52 00:02:52,633 --> 00:02:55,420 We didn't do anything, Boss. There wasn't anything to do. 53 00:02:55,423 --> 00:02:58,000 And it got done in record time! Give yourselves a hand! 54 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:07,042 Now, you may remember on Friday, we decided to have a little bit of a shooooooowdooooooown! 55 00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:10,417 [CRICKETS CHIRP] 56 00:03:10,420 --> 00:03:13,840 So! Conveniently enough, we have two new clients who need us to 57 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:17,210 Amplify their brand experience with engaging and relevant content! 58 00:03:17,213 --> 00:03:21,924 It's a perfect opportunity for us to see which strategy is the most breakthrough at leveraging influencers 59 00:03:21,927 --> 00:03:24,000 And igniting organic conversations! 60 00:03:24,294 --> 00:03:26,072 What the fuck does that mean? 61 00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:29,840 I think he's talking about me versus Andrew, somehow. 62 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,840 First order of business: teams! 63 00:03:31,843 --> 00:03:35,840 In this corner: Edward Tungsten-Cohen! 64 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,210 And his team members: Kevin, Leora, and Blake! 65 00:03:39,213 --> 00:03:41,042 All right! I'm on Team Edward! 66 00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:44,630 And in this corner! Andrew Sholes! 67 00:03:44,633 --> 00:03:46,000 And his team members: 68 00:03:46,003 --> 00:03:49,333 Janet, Michael, Robert, Puneet, Philip, Jason, Ivan, Marty, Kirk! 69 00:03:49,336 --> 00:03:51,879 Wait! Why does he get more people than me? 70 00:03:51,882 --> 00:03:53,210 You don't want 'em. 71 00:03:53,213 --> 00:03:58,410 They're his marketroid posse people things. 72 00:03:58,413 --> 00:04:01,375 Now! Andrew! Your clients will be here in just a moment! 73 00:04:01,378 --> 00:04:02,291 [INTERCOM BEEPS] Leila? 74 00:04:02,294 --> 00:04:04,000 -Yes? -Aagh! Oh god! 75 00:04:04,714 --> 00:04:07,210 Um, uh, please, uh 76 00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:09,210 Let the Schwab folks in? Thanks. 77 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:11,420 [BOSS SHUDDERS UNCOMFORTABLY] 78 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:15,630 Anyway! Eddie! Your clients are waiting in the downstairs conference room! 79 00:04:15,633 --> 00:04:18,630 -We have a downstairs conference room? -We have a downstairs? 80 00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:24,630 So get those meetings going, team, and let's get ready for some marketing! 81 00:04:27,420 --> 00:04:30,210 So, you gentlemen are from MillerCoors? 82 00:04:30,420 --> 00:04:36,630 Yes. We'd like to expand the market of our Miller Lite premium reduced-calorie pilsner beverage 83 00:04:36,633 --> 00:04:39,420 To target consumers in the female demographic, 84 00:04:39,423 --> 00:04:44,210 But without compromising the brand's tried-and-true message of hyper-masculinity 85 00:04:44,213 --> 00:04:46,420 And misogynistic behavior. 86 00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:50,630 I…see. 87 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,840 Wow, Zac! Beer ads are misogynistic? 88 00:04:53,843 --> 00:04:57,840 That's so insightful¡ Nobody has ever made that observation before¡ 89 00:04:58,336 --> 00:05:03,000 Well, it's still happening, so obviously we need to keep pointing it out. 90 00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:06,420 Or you're an unoriginal, talentless hack. 91 00:05:07,210 --> 00:05:08,000 Yeah, that too. 92 00:05:09,420 --> 00:05:19,168 ♫Don't you wanna tell 'em what they really want? / Yeah, and don't you wanna tell 'em all where they should shop?♫ 93 00:05:19,171 --> 00:05:23,840 ♫And blah de blah de blah de blah de blah♫ 94 00:05:24,420 --> 00:05:28,420 ♫Yeah, and blah de blah de blah de blah de blah♫ 95 00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:40,420 ♫Yeah, and don't you wanna get yourself control of their minds / Yeah, and don't you wanna keep it till the end of time?♫ 96 00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:44,630 ♫And blah de blah de blah de blah de blah♫ 97 00:05:45,420 --> 00:05:49,840 ♫Yeah, and blah de blah de blah de blah de blah♫ 98 00:05:51,042 --> 00:05:56,504 ♫Well, it may be a lie and it may not make sense♫ 99 00:05:56,507 --> 00:06:00,000 ♫But it's bound to catch an eye or two♫ 100 00:06:11,210 --> 00:06:14,462 Is your wallet stuffed up and congested with money? 101 00:06:14,465 --> 00:06:18,711 Generic drugs may take weeks to relieve pressure on your wallet 102 00:06:18,714 --> 00:06:24,250 But Sudafed has fast-acting high prices to unclog all that cash instantly! 103 00:06:24,253 --> 00:06:28,250 You can't get THAT kind of fast-acting power when you buy generic! 104 00:06:28,253 --> 00:06:33,250 Sudafed: Because "pseudoephedrine" is such a big word. 105 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,710 Look, asshole! You don't have any right to call me a pretentious yuppie douchebag! 106 00:06:43,713 --> 00:06:48,042 You're supposed to be a genius, so shut the fuck up and fix my god damn iPad! 107 00:06:49,756 --> 00:06:51,210 I'm not a douchebag. 108 00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:57,210 Okay, bitches! Everyone drop everything and come pay attention to me! 109 00:06:58,630 --> 00:07:02,000 -Uh, I was kinda busy working on-- -Shut up, diversity quota, nobody asked you. 110 00:07:02,504 --> 00:07:05,546 Now. Can someone remind me who the hell it was we were supposed to be meeting with? 111 00:07:05,549 --> 00:07:07,840 I honestly couldn't be bothered enough to pay attention. 112 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,000 It vas Charles Schwab, ze investment firm. 113 00:07:10,003 --> 00:07:13,000 I know that, you commie bastard! It was a rhetorical question! 114 00:07:13,003 --> 00:07:15,840 -No it vasn't! -Why are you still talking? 115 00:07:15,924 --> 00:07:19,000 Go get alcohol poisoning from vodka, or whatever you people do. 116 00:07:19,084 --> 00:07:22,630 Okay, Charles Schwab, uhhhh, what do they do, they let you buy stocks and shit, right? 117 00:07:24,336 --> 00:07:26,000 Anyone? Hello? 118 00:07:27,084 --> 00:07:29,168 -Are we allowed to answer? -Are you allowed to--? 119 00:07:29,171 --> 00:07:31,672 What the fuck kind of question is that?! Yes, you're allowed to answer! 120 00:07:31,675 --> 00:07:33,588 Why would I ask something if I didn't want an answer? 121 00:07:33,591 --> 00:07:37,210 -Because you ask rhetorical ques-- -THAT was another rhetorical question, dumbass! 122 00:07:37,213 --> 00:07:38,630 Jesus fucking christ, this guy… 123 00:07:38,633 --> 00:07:40,210 [DEEP BREATH] 124 00:07:40,213 --> 00:07:41,042 Oh my god! 125 00:07:41,045 --> 00:07:43,210 All right. Now is ANYBODY gonna answer my question? 126 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,630 Yes, they let you buy stocks. 127 00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:49,042 -They're a stock broker. -I KNOW they let you buy stocks! I just SAID that! 128 00:07:49,045 --> 00:07:51,210 You people are FUCKING killing me today! 129 00:07:51,756 --> 00:07:54,210 I was asking: who's the demographic we're tryin' to reach? 130 00:07:54,213 --> 00:07:56,000 Nooooo you weren't. 131 00:07:56,003 --> 00:07:58,000 Excuse me, how do you know what I was asking? 132 00:07:58,003 --> 00:08:00,000 -Clearly I don't¡ -Are you inside my head? 133 00:08:00,003 --> 00:08:03,882 -No¡ -Do you have any understanding of my own personal thought processes that go on inside my brain? 134 00:08:03,885 --> 00:08:06,630 -Absolutely not¡ -No! You don't. So! 135 00:08:06,633 --> 00:08:08,924 You don't get to tell me what I was asking, because I, 136 00:08:08,927 --> 00:08:12,000 Of all people, would know exactly what that was, and YOU would not! 137 00:08:12,630 --> 00:08:14,210 Hey, uh, can I get by? 138 00:08:14,213 --> 00:08:15,210 Go around! 139 00:08:15,213 --> 00:08:17,630 I can't go around! My cubicle's right behind you guys! 140 00:08:17,633 --> 00:08:19,840 -So climb! -Wh-what? 141 00:08:19,843 --> 00:08:24,000 Now! Where was I before we were so RUDELY interrupted? 142 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,210 -Uh, you vere… -Did I look like I was done talking?! 143 00:08:30,213 --> 00:08:34,966 Demographics! We need to reach upper middle-class professionals, 35 to 59. 144 00:08:34,969 --> 00:08:36,627 That's our market for Charles Schwab. 145 00:08:36,630 --> 00:08:39,420 The guys from Schwab said they wanted 18 to 34. 146 00:08:39,423 --> 00:08:41,000 They wanna reach more young people. 147 00:08:41,003 --> 00:08:43,000 Did I ask for your OPINION? 148 00:08:43,003 --> 00:08:46,630 That's the client's opinion! We're supposed to be doing what the client wants. 149 00:08:46,633 --> 00:08:48,420 [BLAKE SCREAMS; STUFF CRASHES] 150 00:08:48,423 --> 00:08:50,840 Okay, Janet, you know what? You know what?! 151 00:08:50,843 --> 00:08:53,840 You're not supposed to talk! Your job is to stand there 152 00:08:53,843 --> 00:08:56,840 And be a PAIR OF TITS for me to look at! Okay?! 153 00:08:57,420 --> 00:08:59,210 Uh…um… 154 00:09:01,630 --> 00:09:03,126 I just asked you a question! 155 00:09:03,129 --> 00:09:08,630 [COPY MACHINE BEEPS, WHIRRS] 156 00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:10,630 It came out a little bit blue, didn't it? 157 00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:13,000 It's fine. This is just a mock-up. 158 00:09:13,003 --> 00:09:14,840 Oh, yeah yeah yeah, right. 159 00:09:17,210 --> 00:09:19,336 So, did you get that thing with your apartment worked out? 160 00:09:19,339 --> 00:09:21,294 Oh, yeah, it's all fine now. 161 00:09:21,297 --> 00:09:26,630 I spent an hour on the phone with Con Ed, and they'd gotten a cancellation request or something? 162 00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:29,630 I don't know. It was so weird. 163 00:09:29,633 --> 00:09:33,210 But anyway, power's back on…landlord doesn't think I'm broke… 164 00:09:33,420 --> 00:09:38,000 I…have to replace a lot of what was in the refrigerator. 165 00:09:38,003 --> 00:09:40,000 Ugh, that sucks. I'm sorry. 166 00:09:40,003 --> 00:09:43,630 So, what, someone else just called them up and told them to cut your power off? 167 00:09:43,630 --> 00:09:45,630 -I guess so. -Who would do that? 168 00:09:45,633 --> 00:09:48,630 Well…Andrew, maybe. 169 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:50,756 He likes to mess with my head. 170 00:09:50,759 --> 00:09:53,207 He'd be able to convince Con Ed that he lived at your apartment? 171 00:09:53,210 --> 00:09:58,000 -Ow! Uh, let's just not get into that. -Are you okay? 172 00:09:58,003 --> 00:09:59,627 Yeah, I'm fine. 173 00:09:59,630 --> 00:10:01,840 Hey! You guys remember Pepsi Nano? 174 00:10:01,843 --> 00:10:02,420 Yeah? 175 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:04,840 Well, hehe, it got recalled. 176 00:10:05,294 --> 00:10:06,210 Really? 177 00:10:06,213 --> 00:10:09,417 Yeah, says here everybody who drank it got real sick. 178 00:10:09,420 --> 00:10:12,630 -There was even this one lady who needed a liver transpla-- -Heyyyy! Kevin! 179 00:10:12,633 --> 00:10:18,315 I totally think I might've a little bit sort of… 180 00:10:18,630 --> 00:10:20,840 -Brokenyourcomputer HEY! That looks great! -Wait, what? 181 00:10:20,843 --> 00:10:24,000 -Thank you! -Yeah, definitely diggin' the blood splatter on her skirt right there! 182 00:10:24,003 --> 00:10:27,210 -That's badass! -What blood spatter? -It looks so real, too! 183 00:10:27,213 --> 00:10:28,630 Hey, whatdja say about my computer?! 184 00:10:28,633 --> 00:10:30,210 Oh shit! I'm really bleeding! 185 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:31,714 Whoa, you're using real blood in that? 186 00:10:31,717 --> 00:10:33,546 Damn, Leora, you're hardcore! 187 00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:36,504 Uh, do you need, like, a band-aid or somethin'? 188 00:10:36,507 --> 00:10:38,420 I think I need more than a… 189 00:10:38,423 --> 00:10:41,000 Uh, tissues! Get me some tissues! 190 00:10:41,210 --> 00:10:43,210 -Where are they? -Yo, what was that about breaking my computer? 191 00:10:43,213 --> 00:10:45,504 They're up on the shelf, with the thing! 192 00:10:45,507 --> 00:10:46,210 What thing? 193 00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,084 The thing on the shelf with the stuff! 194 00:10:48,087 --> 00:10:50,840 -You know, the thing! -Okay, I'm getting a little dizzy here. 195 00:10:50,843 --> 00:10:54,000 Well, howdy-ho, team! Looks like there's a change of plans! 196 00:10:54,003 --> 00:10:57,042 Kevin! You're on Team Andrew now! We're swapping you with Janet! 197 00:10:57,045 --> 00:10:59,756 Whoa, whoa, what? No! Why do I have to go there? [LEORA HYPERVENTILATES] 198 00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:01,924 Why can't we just have five people? [LEORA HYPERVENTILATES] 199 00:11:01,927 --> 00:11:03,210 He's already got a bajillion! [LEORA HYPERVENTILATES] 200 00:11:03,213 --> 00:11:05,630 Okay, what is she doing here? She's an accountant! 201 00:11:05,633 --> 00:11:07,252 I'm bleeding! What's happening?! 202 00:11:07,255 --> 00:11:09,294 Okay, Eddie, y'know the thing with the buttons? 203 00:11:09,297 --> 00:11:10,840 -The scanner? -Yeah, it's on that shelf! 204 00:11:10,843 --> 00:11:12,252 -Where? -Right next to it! 205 00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,294 Next to it whe--? Oh. Auggh! It's empty! 206 00:11:14,297 --> 00:11:16,756 What the HELL do you mean, it's empty?! 207 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:20,210 Okay, I'm feeling really sleepy right now. 208 00:11:20,420 --> 00:11:22,840 I'm sure you'll all manage JUST fine with Janet here! 209 00:11:22,843 --> 00:11:24,546 Oh, wow! That's really nice, Leora! 210 00:11:24,549 --> 00:11:25,714 Has the client seen it yet? 211 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,000 [THUD] 212 00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:46,630 -Hey, are you okay from earli--? -I'm fine! 213 00:11:48,210 --> 00:11:50,420 Okay, I was just worried that-- 214 00:11:50,423 --> 00:11:52,210 You know what? I don't need your sympathy! 215 00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:55,420 I'm not trying to impress you, and I don't care what you think. 216 00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:59,420 And I don't appreciate you coming in here and disrupting the group dynamic 217 00:11:59,423 --> 00:12:02,420 That I have worked SO hard to maintain 218 00:12:02,630 --> 00:12:07,840 Which is NOT an easy thing to do when we have to breathe the same air as people like YOU all day! 219 00:12:07,843 --> 00:12:10,630 Punch THAT into your little spreadsheet, why don'tcha?¡ 220 00:12:11,740 --> 00:12:13,840 Geez, I was just tryin' to be nice. 221 00:12:14,420 --> 00:12:16,000 [SIGH] You're right. 222 00:12:16,798 --> 00:12:18,210 I apologize. 223 00:12:18,630 --> 00:12:22,840 But I don't want you stepping on our creative decisions. Okay? 224 00:12:23,714 --> 00:12:24,630 [EDDIE:] Have a seat, gentlemen. 225 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,997 So, we've planned this great campaign for you 226 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:34,000 With some imagery that can be deployed in print, on billboards, on television, and on Facebook. 227 00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,630 [DOOR CLOSES, FOOTSTEPS] 228 00:12:35,633 --> 00:12:36,633 [CHAIR CREAKS] 229 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,840 Um…hi… 230 00:12:38,843 --> 00:12:41,378 Mark Zuckerberg. What are you doing here? 231 00:12:41,381 --> 00:12:42,501 Just chillin'. 232 00:12:42,504 --> 00:12:45,420 Ooookay, why are you here? 233 00:12:45,798 --> 00:12:48,630 Well, I heard you guys were gonna use Facebook, so I figured, y'know, I could just 234 00:12:48,633 --> 00:12:50,840 Like, swing by, hang out, it's all good, man! 235 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:54,630 Uh, well…actually, this is a 236 00:12:54,633 --> 00:12:56,840 Business meeting, and it's supposed to be private. 237 00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:58,000 What, you got somethin' to hide? 238 00:12:58,003 --> 00:13:00,000 No! No! Not really! We just, uh, 239 00:13:00,003 --> 00:13:02,000 Appreciate a little, uh… 240 00:13:02,672 --> 00:13:04,840 This is just between us and our clients. 241 00:13:04,843 --> 00:13:06,210 Nah, don't worry, man! It's cool, it's cool. 242 00:13:06,213 --> 00:13:08,630 I mean, everybody has business meetings. Nothing to be ashamed of. 243 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:13,840 Right. Okay. I'm just gonna, uh… 244 00:13:14,420 --> 00:13:15,210 Okay. 245 00:13:15,630 --> 00:13:16,630 Gentlemen! 246 00:13:16,633 --> 00:13:19,840 You wanted to both sell to, and objectify, women at the same time. 247 00:13:19,843 --> 00:13:22,630 So! We have for you a campaign that 248 00:13:22,633 --> 00:13:26,000 To the Y chromosome, seems like a teenage fantasy 249 00:13:26,003 --> 00:13:29,420 But! To the X chromosome, empowers and emboldens! 250 00:13:29,423 --> 00:13:31,210 Allow us to introduce you to: 251 00:13:31,213 --> 00:13:33,126 Miller Lite! Kick some ass! 252 00:13:33,420 --> 00:13:37,630 We went with the "warrior princess" theme as a way to subvert the conventional 253 00:13:37,633 --> 00:13:39,210 "Barely-dressed woman" thing 254 00:13:39,213 --> 00:13:42,000 And in turn, use it not for sexualization 255 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,840 But for female empowerment. 256 00:13:43,843 --> 00:13:46,210 But you need to, to, uh… 257 00:13:46,213 --> 00:13:49,000 To think about that a bit to really realize what it means. 258 00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:52,840 Because on the surface, your typical male base sees another hot girl 259 00:13:52,843 --> 00:13:55,543 But from a female perspective, it's, uh… 260 00:13:55,546 --> 00:13:57,840 It's all like, "You go, girl!" And stuff like that! 261 00:13:57,843 --> 00:13:59,630 -Oh yeah! -Exactly! 263 00:14:01,630 --> 00:14:03,336 So! What do ya think? 263 00:14:03,339 --> 00:14:04,840 -Crap! -Terrible! 264 00:14:04,843 --> 00:14:06,417 Unusable! 265 00:14:06,420 --> 00:14:09,840 What? Uh, okay, what are the, uhm… 266 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,669 Issues we need to work on? 267 00:14:11,672 --> 00:14:14,042 It's not nearly misogynistic enough. 268 00:14:14,045 --> 00:14:18,210 In fact, I'd say it's not actually misogynistic at all! 269 00:14:19,420 --> 00:14:21,840 W-well, on one level, it is! 270 00:14:21,843 --> 00:14:24,840 Because, I mean, we're not even showing her face, right? 271 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,630 And the word "ass" is in the slogan 272 00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:30,210 And we're focusing RIGHT on that 273 00:14:30,213 --> 00:14:33,630 And so it's definitely, absolutely 274 00:14:33,633 --> 00:14:35,417 SOMEWHAT degrading! 275 00:14:35,420 --> 00:14:37,210 But she has CLOTHING on! 276 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:41,840 Uh…but, we uh… 277 00:14:41,843 --> 00:14:45,420 It's not really LEGAL in this country to show a, uh 278 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,921 Completely naked woman. 279 00:14:47,924 --> 00:14:52,210 Legal? We're a gigantic multinational corporation! 280 00:14:52,213 --> 00:14:54,420 You think we care what's LEGAL? 281 00:14:55,420 --> 00:14:58,000 Fix this! Fix this right now! 282 00:15:01,210 --> 00:15:02,210 Poke! 283 00:15:02,504 --> 00:15:05,924 You vant us to just cut ze whole thing? Zat's three days of vork down ze drain! 284 00:15:05,927 --> 00:15:07,294 Focus group didn't like it. Do it over. 285 00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:11,210 -Zat focus group vas full of twelve-year-olds! -Don't disparage the maturity of our demographic, dickflop! 286 00:15:11,213 --> 00:15:12,630 Customers are always right. 287 00:15:12,633 --> 00:15:15,000 No, it vas literally full of twelve-year-olds! 288 00:15:15,003 --> 00:15:17,420 -You gave it to ze wrong focus group! -Remember, people, by the numbers! 289 00:15:17,423 --> 00:15:19,420 Everything by the numbers! 290 00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,210 Are you working? 291 00:15:21,213 --> 00:15:23,630 I'm waiting on Andrew. He hasn't told me what we're doin' yet. 292 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,462 So…you're not working? You're not BUSY? 293 00:15:28,465 --> 00:15:30,630 You're just sitting around and doing NOTHING?! 294 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:32,921 I…guess you could say that, yeah. 295 00:15:32,924 --> 00:15:35,630 Well, I'm not paying you to sit around and do nothing! 296 00:15:35,633 --> 00:15:37,840 You know who pays people to sit around and do nothing? 297 00:15:37,843 --> 00:15:39,294 The federal government! 298 00:15:39,297 --> 00:15:43,630 I worked for the US Census Bureau from 1991 to 1999 299 00:15:43,633 --> 00:15:46,420 And there wasn't a single day when they made us do anything! 300 00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:48,630 Well, I left there and said, "No more!" 301 00:15:48,633 --> 00:15:52,420 "My employees won't get paid to sit around n' do nothing like a bunch of government workers!" 302 00:15:52,423 --> 00:15:54,210 "I'm gonna make 'em DO things!" 303 00:15:54,630 --> 00:15:57,000 So…what should I do? 304 00:15:57,084 --> 00:15:58,084 Things! 305 00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:02,921 (♫Dun dun dun, like a boss! Dun dun dun, like a boss!♫) 306 00:16:02,924 --> 00:16:05,840 Hey, Andy! You got any THINGS for me to do? 307 00:16:06,546 --> 00:16:08,420 Things? Uh… 308 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,420 Yeah! Actually, ah, now that I think about it 309 00:16:11,423 --> 00:16:12,630 You could, uh… 310 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,000 Sit down! 311 00:16:14,210 --> 00:16:15,420 Shut the fuck up! 312 00:16:15,423 --> 00:16:16,840 And buy me a new iPad! 313 00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:18,000 And you're payin'! 314 00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:20,420 Christ al-fuckin'-mighty. 315 00:16:21,210 --> 00:16:22,840 Listerine fights plaque! 316 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,504 And has the power to rid your mouth of biofilm! 317 00:16:25,507 --> 00:16:28,714 "Biofilm" is a fancy new word we found one day! 318 00:16:28,717 --> 00:16:30,627 It basically means plaque. 319 00:16:30,630 --> 00:16:34,126 Listerine! We have a thesaurus! 320 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:39,840 I'm at a loss. What do we do now? 321 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,294 Maybe if we just, like 322 00:16:41,297 --> 00:16:43,210 Make it about her boobs instead! 323 00:16:43,213 --> 00:16:46,420 'Cause, y'know, guys have asses too, but 324 00:16:46,423 --> 00:16:49,756 They don't have boobs. Boobs are more, like, exclusively womanish! 325 00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:50,759 You get me? 326 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:54,420 -Uh, I don't really-- -Oh! Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, you're right! 327 00:16:54,423 --> 00:16:57,546 'Cause like, some guys, if they're like, really fat and stuff 328 00:16:57,549 --> 00:16:59,210 They have man-boobs, so 329 00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:03,420 I guess chicks don't really have a monippley on that either. 330 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,000 WHAT?! 331 00:17:06,420 --> 00:17:08,630 Maybe we just need to give 'em what they wanna see. 332 00:17:09,210 --> 00:17:12,630 Janet, we DID what they asked for. They didn't like it. 333 00:17:12,633 --> 00:17:15,840 Right, so, don't give them what they asked for. Give them what they want. 334 00:17:15,843 --> 00:17:16,840 Take a look. 335 00:17:19,630 --> 00:17:22,000 -Uh… -Well… 336 00:17:22,003 --> 00:17:24,630 It's DEFINITELY more misogynistic. 337 00:17:24,633 --> 00:17:29,000 But I'm…kinda missing the part where it appeals to women. 338 00:17:29,084 --> 00:17:31,840 Well, clearly they have no idea what appeals to women. 339 00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:34,711 So we can just tell them that THIS does, and they'll believe us. 340 00:17:34,714 --> 00:17:37,417 But it doesn't! That would be lying! 341 00:17:37,420 --> 00:17:41,840 Yeah, I know. But look, the purpose of this exercise is to not be a dick to the client. 342 00:17:41,843 --> 00:17:45,420 That's it. We don't have to act in their best interest, we just have to be nice. 343 00:17:45,546 --> 00:17:48,210 That's not really what I was going for, though. 344 00:17:48,213 --> 00:17:53,000 Okay, look. There will be many, MANY opportunities in the future to advance the craft of advertising 345 00:17:53,003 --> 00:17:56,000 But this is not one of them. We can't win this battle 346 00:17:56,003 --> 00:17:59,210 So let's just make the client happy, and get them out the door 347 00:17:59,213 --> 00:18:01,420 So we can all move on to better things. 348 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,630 I'm not so sure I'm comfortable saying all this. 349 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:12,000 I know. We don't like it any more than you do. 350 00:18:12,210 --> 00:18:15,630 Trust me, this is just a paycheck for me too. 351 00:18:15,633 --> 00:18:17,711 As soon as we're done here, I'm going straight to my priest. 352 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:18,840 [CLANG] 353 00:18:18,843 --> 00:18:19,420 [CLICK] 354 00:18:19,630 --> 00:18:21,924 Okay, this is Miller Lite, take one! 355 00:18:21,927 --> 00:18:22,630 [CLAP] 356 00:18:23,294 --> 00:18:24,210 [BLAKE:] Action! 357 00:18:24,213 --> 00:18:28,420 Listen, woman! I don't wanna hear your whining or your excuses! 358 00:18:28,630 --> 00:18:31,420 I don't want you to tell me about your FEELINGS, because the only 359 00:18:31,423 --> 00:18:33,000 FEELING you should be having is this 360 00:18:33,003 --> 00:18:35,630 Long hard thing pouring delicious liquid in your face! 361 00:18:36,630 --> 00:18:39,000 How many of you women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 362 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:40,420 None! 363 00:18:40,756 --> 00:18:42,630 You can cook my steak in the dark! 364 00:18:43,210 --> 00:18:46,000 Miller Lite! Drink it, bitch! 365 00:18:48,630 --> 00:18:51,000 You see? It speaks directly to women! 366 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,420 -Amazing! -It's genius! 367 00:18:54,423 --> 00:18:57,000 The female demographic will eat this up! 368 00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:59,630 Wait! What did the focus group think? 369 00:19:00,210 --> 00:19:02,210 So! What do you guys think? 370 00:19:02,213 --> 00:19:04,000 Durrrrr, there's too much motion blur! 371 00:19:04,630 --> 00:19:05,840 They LOVED it! 372 00:19:05,843 --> 00:19:07,588 Then so do we! 373 00:19:17,336 --> 00:19:20,000 My ad campaign is better than your ad campaign! 374 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,840 -You haven't even SEEN mine! -I don't have to! 375 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,126 Could you NOT invade my personal space in the men's room? 376 00:19:28,129 --> 00:19:32,000 The boss is gonna see for sure that you know NOTHING about advertising! 377 00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:36,000 Why do you have to be such a massive DICK all the time? 378 00:19:36,084 --> 00:19:37,210 To be ironic? 379 00:19:37,213 --> 00:19:39,210 Because it gets results! 380 00:19:39,630 --> 00:19:41,630 You know what they say, Edward. 381 00:19:41,630 --> 00:19:44,210 Nice guys finish last. 382 00:19:45,924 --> 00:19:48,630 Yeah, that's why I can please a woman better than YOU can! 383 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:53,840 [SHARP BREATH] 384 00:19:59,420 --> 00:20:00,630 [UNDOING BELT, UNZIPPING PANTS] 385 00:20:02,630 --> 00:20:04,840 Wha?! Mark Zuckerberg?! 386 00:20:04,843 --> 00:20:06,840 -What the hell are you doing? -Hey, man, what's up? 387 00:20:06,843 --> 00:20:09,126 -G-get out of here! -What, you got somethin' to hide? 388 00:20:09,129 --> 00:20:11,840 I'm USING the TOILET! 389 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:13,420 Nah, don't worry, man! It's cool, it's cool. 390 00:20:13,423 --> 00:20:15,420 I mean, everybody takes a shit, nothin' to be ashamed of. 391 00:20:15,423 --> 00:20:16,420 Wh-- g-- g-get out! 392 00:20:16,423 --> 00:20:17,756 Whoa whoa whoa whoa, hold that pose! 393 00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:18,840 [CAMERA SHUTTER] 394 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,210 I like this! 395 00:20:27,420 --> 00:20:30,420 Honestly, I don't get that drunk! Alcohol just literally goes right through me! 396 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,000 [WAITRESS SCREAMS] 397 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,420 So, how'd it all go with Miss Robo-Zombie-Accountant-Lady? [PHONE RINGS] 398 00:20:36,630 --> 00:20:40,210 -[EDDIE:] Not bad, actually. -[BLAKE:] Yeah, she pretty much came up with the whole idea herself. 399 00:20:40,420 --> 00:20:41,840 Huh. Great¡ 400 00:20:42,210 --> 00:20:44,420 No, it was actually, uh… 401 00:20:44,423 --> 00:20:47,000 Well, it was horribly offensive 402 00:20:47,003 --> 00:20:49,630 And I'm ashamed to have been associated with it 403 00:20:49,633 --> 00:20:52,840 But from a creative standpoint, it was 404 00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:55,000 Pretty well thought out. 405 00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:57,420 Psh. Yeah, right¡ From a fuckin' accountant¡ 406 00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,630 Don't let her fool ya. They're all just like Andrew. 407 00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:02,000 I…thought so too. 408 00:21:02,003 --> 00:21:03,840 But maybe not. 409 00:21:04,210 --> 00:21:07,000 No. No way. Anybody who takes orders from Andy's got [PHONE BLEEPS] 410 00:21:07,003 --> 00:21:10,210 Nothin' inside of 'em. No fuckin' soul, no nothin' at all. 411 00:21:10,213 --> 00:21:12,420 [EDDIE:] Well, you WERE working under him. 412 00:21:12,423 --> 00:21:16,000 [KEVIN:] I didn't do SHIT for him! Anything he said to me, I was just like 413 00:21:16,003 --> 00:21:17,000 [KEVIN:] Fuck you! No! 414 00:21:17,003 --> 00:21:18,630 Well, that's mature¡ 415 00:21:18,633 --> 00:21:20,420 What do you mean, "that's mature"?! 416 00:21:20,423 --> 00:21:23,000 This is Andy we're talkin' about. It's the only way to deal with 'im! 417 00:21:23,630 --> 00:21:27,210 Or perhaps…it's the only way you've tried. 418 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,840 T--Tommy? 419 00:21:32,843 --> 00:21:34,252 Dude! What's up? 420 00:21:34,255 --> 00:21:38,420 The thumbtack is still your brother, but he has forgotten that. 421 00:21:38,423 --> 00:21:40,420 He wishes to fight you 422 00:21:40,423 --> 00:21:43,840 But you must remind him that you are all of the same blood. 423 00:21:44,210 --> 00:21:47,630 You are all human beings. And therefore 424 00:21:47,633 --> 00:21:50,630 You are all fightin' for the same thing. 425 00:21:51,630 --> 00:21:53,420 Tommy, this is Eddie. 426 00:21:53,423 --> 00:21:55,840 The boss brought him in to replace y-- 427 00:21:56,210 --> 00:21:57,840 Well-- 428 00:21:57,843 --> 00:22:01,000 Not that ANYONE could replace you. 429 00:22:01,042 --> 00:22:02,630 Well met, brother Eddie. 430 00:22:03,126 --> 00:22:07,420 I sense your strength, your resolve, and your compassion. 431 00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:09,840 These are powerful qualities. 432 00:22:10,210 --> 00:22:13,420 Your brothers and sister are lucky to have you. 433 00:22:13,630 --> 00:22:15,000 T-thank you, sir. 434 00:22:16,630 --> 00:22:21,210 The thumbtack shall resent you and sabotage you, but do not fight him, brother. 435 00:22:21,420 --> 00:22:23,000 Show him the way. 436 00:22:23,210 --> 00:22:26,630 I've been tryin', Tommy. I've been tryin' for so long! 437 00:22:26,633 --> 00:22:28,210 I don't think it's possible! 438 00:22:28,504 --> 00:22:30,840 You must take another path, brother Kevin. 439 00:22:31,462 --> 00:22:34,630 Perhaps brother Eddie will show you the way as well. 440 00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:37,840 Awwwwwwwwwwww yeah. 441 00:22:46,210 --> 00:22:47,210 Hey. 442 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:48,840 Hey. 443 00:22:50,630 --> 00:22:53,000 I'm sorry for being, uh… 444 00:22:53,630 --> 00:22:57,210 Not so nice to you. For the past week. 445 00:22:57,213 --> 00:22:58,630 Don't worry about it. 446 00:22:58,633 --> 00:23:00,630 I'm really embarrassed. 447 00:23:00,633 --> 00:23:01,840 It's okay. Don't worry. 448 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,840 No. Look. I just-- 449 00:23:04,630 --> 00:23:06,210 I wasn't myself. 450 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:08,210 I don't do that. 451 00:23:08,213 --> 00:23:09,840 I don't act like that. 452 00:23:09,843 --> 00:23:11,210 Most of the time. 453 00:23:11,336 --> 00:23:14,210 Well, I kinda walked in on you while you were bleedin' to death, honey. 454 00:23:14,213 --> 00:23:16,210 Don't sweat it. We all have our bad days. 455 00:23:16,210 --> 00:23:17,210 Weeks. 456 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:18,840 Weeks. 457 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,000 So… 458 00:23:21,210 --> 00:23:24,420 What was it that made you want to, uh… 459 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,210 Switch sides? 460 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:28,210 You know that guy in our ad? 461 00:23:29,126 --> 00:23:32,000 Well, let's just say he was inspired by a real person. 462 00:23:32,630 --> 00:23:33,630 Oh! 463 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,000 Yeah. 464 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:40,000 Yeah, I can see that. [LAUGHS] 465 00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:44,840 So, would you maybe want to, uh… 466 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:47,630 Play on our team a bit more? 467 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:51,210 It was fun, but I gotta stick by my compatriots. 468 00:23:51,213 --> 00:23:54,000 I'm sort of the, uh, one-girl support group for everyone. 469 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,420 If that makes sense. 470 00:23:56,630 --> 00:23:59,630 I know EXACTLY what you mean. 471 00:23:59,756 --> 00:24:02,000 Okay, team! The results are in! 472 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,840 Team Edward made us… 473 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:07,210 Nine hundred thousand, one hundred and thirty-seven dollars! 474 00:24:07,210 --> 00:24:09,000 And Team Andrew made us… 475 00:24:09,420 --> 00:24:12,420 Nine hundred thousand, one hundred and thirty-seven dollars! 476 00:24:12,420 --> 00:24:14,420 It's a tie! Congratulations! 477 00:24:14,423 --> 00:24:15,630 Everybody wins! 478 00:24:15,633 --> 00:24:19,000 Wait! What about how satisfied the clients were? 479 00:24:19,210 --> 00:24:20,840 What about what about WHAT now?! 480 00:24:20,843 --> 00:24:23,630 The clients! Were they satisfied? Do they hate us? 481 00:24:23,633 --> 00:24:26,630 Are they gonna tell everybody that we suck and not to do business with us? 482 00:24:27,210 --> 00:24:30,420 Huh. I…didn't ask. 483 00:24:31,420 --> 00:24:35,210 Boss, that was the entire reason we were doing all of this! 484 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:36,630 Oh. 485 00:24:37,630 --> 00:24:39,210 Weeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllll… 486 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,000 Fuck. 487 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,000 Who wants lunch? 488 00:24:44,420 --> 00:24:49,000 Hey, thanks for watching. We need your support to make more episodes of Your Face is a Saxophone 489 00:24:49,003 --> 00:24:50,840 And to keep them free of charge and free of ads 490 00:24:50,843 --> 00:24:53,630 All of these people you see in the credits gave a little bit of their time 491 00:24:53,633 --> 00:24:57,000 Or their money to make this episode possible, and you can be one of them too. 492 00:24:57,003 --> 00:25:01,000 You can help us prove that great TV shows don't need to shove commercials in your face to cover their costs. 493 00:25:01,003 --> 00:25:05,420 We don't want to make a show to please our corporate sponsors, we want to make it for our fans. You guys. 494 00:25:05,423 --> 00:25:08,840 So go to yfias.com/donate to become a producer of the show 495 00:25:08,843 --> 00:25:11,210 Or yfias.com/volunteer to see how else you can help 496 00:25:11,213 --> 00:25:13,210 And follow us on Twitter: @Plankhead 497 00:25:13,213 --> 00:25:16,000 Or go to yfias.com and click "Get Email Updates" 498 00:25:16,003 --> 00:25:18,210 To keep track of the show and see what's going on with it. 499 00:25:18,213 --> 00:25:21,630 So, thanks again. I'm Zacqary Adam Green, the creator of Your Face is a Saxophone 500 00:25:21,630 --> 00:25:23,000 And you're awesome!