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BAVIAD,

AND

M ^ V I A D,

miLUMGIFFORD, Efq.

Tota cohors taraen eft inimica, omnefque manipli Confenfu magno officiunt, curabitis, ut fit Vindifla gravior quam injuria : dignum erit ergo Declamatoris Mutinenfis corde Vagelli Cum duo crura habeas ofFendere tot caligatos.

A NEW EDITION REVISED.

LONDON :

PRINTED FOR J. WRIGHT, OPPOSITE OLD BOND STREET, PICCADILLY.

MDCCXCVII.

Cs <~\ .;*■ ,i \

"PR

&3 ^

T O

JOHN HOPPNER, ESQ. R.A.

THE FOLLOWING PAGES ARE RESPECTFULLY INSCRIBED AS A SMALL BUT GRATEFUL MEMORIAL

OF THE AFFECTIONATE AND FAITHFUL REGARD OF HIS MOST OBLIGED FRIEND

AND SERVANT,

London^ July 15, 1797. THE AUTHOR.

V

INTRODUCTION.

I

N 1785, a few Englifh of both fexes''', whom chance had jumbled together at Florence, took a fancy to while away their time in fcrib- bling high-flown panegyrics on themfelves ; and complimentary ** canxonnettas" on two or three Italianst, who underftood too little of the language

* Among whom I find the names of Mrs. Piozzi, Mr. Greathead, Mr. Merry, Mr. Parfons, &c.

f Mrs. Piozzi has fince publifhed a work on what fhe is pleafed to call British Synonimes; the better, I fuppofe, to enable thefe gentlemen to com- prehend her multifarious erudition.

a 3

C viii 2 in which they were written, to be difgufted with them. In this there was not much harm ; nor, indeed, much good : but, as folly is progreffive, they foon wrought themfelves into an opinion that they really deferved the fine things which were mutually faid and fung of each other.

Though ** no one better knows his own houfe** than I the vanity of this woman ; yet the idea of her undertaking fuch a work had never entered my head ; and I was thunderftruck when I firft faw it announced. To execute it with any tolerable de- gree of fuccefs, required a rare combination of talents, among the leaft of which may be numbered neatnefs of ftyle, acutenefs of perception, and a more than common accuracy of difcrimination ; and Mrs. Piozzi brought to the talk, a jargon long fince become proverbial for its vulgarity, an utter incapa- bility of defining a fingle term in the language, and juft as much Latin from a child's Syntax, as fufficed to expofe the ignorance fhe fo anxioufly labours to con- ceal. *' If fuch a one be fit to write on Synonimes, fpeak." Pignotti himfelf laughs in his fleeve; and his countrymen, long fince undeceived, prize the lady's talents at their true worth,

Et centum Tales* curto centufle licentur. • Quere Thrales ? Printer's Devil.

[ ix ]

Thus perfuaded, they were unwilling their inimitable productions fhould be confined to the little circle that produced them ; they there- fore tranfmitted them hither ; and, as their friends were enjoined not to fhew them, they were firft handed about the town with great affiduity, and then fent to the prefs.

A ftiort time before the period we fpeak of, a knot of fantastic coxcombs had fet up a daily paper called the World *. It was perfedly unintelligible, and therefore much read : it was equally lavifti of praife and abufe, (praife of what appeared in its own columns, and abufe of every thing that appeared elfewhere,) and as its condudlors were at once ignorant and conceited, they took upon them to diredl the taste of the

• In this paper were given the earlieft fpecimens of thofe unqualified, and audacious attacks on all private chara6ler ; which the town firft fmiled at for their quamtnefs, then tolerated for their abfur- dity ; and now — that other papers equally wicked, and more intelligible, have ventured to imitate it, —will have to lament to the laft hour of Britifli liberty.

C X 3 town, by prefixing a fliort panegyric to every trifle which came before ihem.

It is fcarcely neceflary to obferve that Yenda« and Laura Marias, and Tony Pafquins, have long claimed a prefcriptive right to infeft moft periodical publications : but as the Editors of them never pretended to criticife their harmlefs produdlions, they were merely read, laughed at, and forgotten. A paper, therefore, that intro- duced their trafli with hyperbolical encomiums, and called on the town to admire it, was an ac- quifition of the utmoft importance to thefe poor people, and naturally became the grand depofitory of their lucubrations.

At this aufpicious period the firft cargo of poe- try arrived from Florence, and was given to the public though the medium of this favoured pa- per. There was a fpecious brilliancy in thefe ex- otics, which dazzled the native grubs, who had fcarce ever ventured beyond a flieep, and a crook, and a rofe-trce grove, with an oftentatious dif- play of " blue hills," and " cralhing torrents,"

and " petrifying funs !"* From admiration to imitation is but a ftep. Honeft Yenda tried his hand at a defcriptive ode, and fucceedcd be- yond his hopes ; Anna Matilda followed ; in a ivord.

contagio labem

Hanc dedit in plures, ficut grex totus in agris Unius fcabie cadit, et porrigine porci.

* Here Mr. Parfons is pleafed to advance his far- thing rufli-light. " Crafhing torrents and petrify- ing funs are extremely ridiculous" — babes confiten- tem ! " but they are not to be found in the Florencis Mifcellany." Who faid they were ? But apropos of the Florence Mifcellany. Mr. Parfons fays I obtained a copy of it by a breach of confidence; and ftems to fancy, good man ! that I derived fome pro- digious advantage from it : yet I had written both the poems, and all the notes fave one, before I knew there was fuch a treafure in exiftence. He might have feen, if paffion had not rendered him as blind as a mill-horfe, that I conftantly allude to poems pub- lifhed feparately in the periodical fheets of the day, and afterwards collefted with great parade by Bell and others. I never looked into the Florence Mif- cellany but once ; and the only ufe I thenmade of it, was to extract a founding paffage from the odes of that deep-mouthed Theban, Bertie Greathead, Efqr.

While the epidemic malady was fpreading from fool to fool, Delia Crufca came over, and immediately announced himfelf by a fonnet to Love. Anna Matilda wrote an incomparable piece of nonfenfe in praife of it ; and the two ** great luminaries of the age," as Mr. Bell calls them, fell defperately in love* with each other.

• The termination of this " everlafting" attachment was curious. When the genuine enthuliafm of the correfpondence (Preface to the Album) had con- tinued for fome time, Delia Crufca became impatient for a fight of his beloved, and Anna, in evil hour, confented to become vifible. What was the confe- quence !

Tafia places, audita places, Ji non 'videare Tota places, w&vXxoJi 'utdeare places.

Mr. Bell, however, tells the ftory another way; and he is probably right. According to him, •* Chance alone procured him an interview." What- ever procured it, all the lovers of " true poetry", with Mrs. Piozzi at their head, expected wonders from it. The flame that burnt with fuch ardour, while the lady was yet unfeen, they hoped would blaze with unexampled brightnefs at the fight of the bewitching objefl. Such were their hopes. But what, as Dr. Johnfon gravely afks, are the hopes of man I or indeed of woman 1 — for this fatal meeting

C xiii 3 From that period not a day paffed without an amatory epiftle fraught with lightning and thun- der, et quicquid habent telorum armamentaria

coeli. The fever turned to a frenzy : Laura

Maria, Carlos, Orlando, Adelaide, and a thou- fand other namelefs names caught the infedlion ; and from one end of the kingdom* to the other, all was nonfenfe and Delia Crufca.

put an end to the whole. Except a marvellous di- thyrambic which Delia Crufca wrote while the im- preflion was yet warm upon him, and which con- fequently gave a moft accurate account of it j nothing has fince appeared to the honour of Anna Matilda : and the " tenth mufe," the " angel," the " god- defs," has funk into an old woman ; with the com- forting reflection of having lifped love drains to an ungrateful fwain.

non hie eft fermo pudicus

In 'vetula, quoties lafcivum intervenit illud

• Kingdom. This is a trifle. Heaven itfelf, if we may believe Mrs. Robinfon, took part in the general infatuation.

" When midft etherial fire

Thou ftrik'ft thy Della Cruscan lyre.

C xiv ] Even THEN, I waited with a patience which I can better account for, than excufe, for fome one (abler than myfelf) to ftep forth to corredl the growing depravity of the public tafte, and check the inundation of abfurdity that was burft- ing upon us from a thoufand fprings. As no one appeared, and as the evil grew every day more alarming (for now bed-ridden old women, and girls at their famplers, began to rave) I de- termined, without much confidence of fuccefs, to try what could be efFedled by my feeble powers ; and accordingly wrote the Following Poem.

Round to catch the heavenly fong, Myriads of ivondering tenphs throng!"

I almoft fliudder while I quote : but fo it ever is.

Fools rufh in where angels fear to tread.

And Merry had given an example of impious temerity, which this wretched woman was but too eager to imitate.

THE

BAVIAD.

BAVIAD,

PARAPHRASTIC IMITATIOxV

FIRST SATIRE OF PERSIUS.

Impune ergo mihi recitaverit ilU Sou iXTAtt Hie £ L z c o s !

^ When I look tound on tnan, and find how vain His paflions —

F. Save us from this canting ftrain ! Why^ who will read it ?

PERS. SAT. I.

" O CURAS hominum ! O quantum eft in rebus inane! Quis leget haec? Min' tu iftud ais? Nemo, hercule. Nemo ? B

[ 2 ]

p. Say 'ft thou this to me ? (2^ F. None, by my life.

P. What, none ? Nay, two or three — F. No, no ; not one. *Tis fad j but—

P. Sad ; but— Why ? 5

Pity is infult here. I care not, I,

Vel duo, vel nemo : turpe et miferabile. Quare ?

* Cul non diSfus Hylas ? And who has not heard of James Bofvvell, Efq. f All the world knows (for all the world has it under his own hand) that this great man compofed a BALLAD in honour, of Mr. Pitt, with very little affiftance from Trufler, and lefs from Mr. Dibdin ; which he produced to the utter confu- fion of the Foxites, and fung at the Lord Mayor's table. This important <* (late paper" I have not been able to procure, thanKs to the fcombri, et quic- quid inept t amicittr' cbartis , out the terror and dif- may it occafioned amongfl the enemy, with a variety of other circumftances highly neceffary to be known, may be gathered from the following letter :

To the Conductor of the World.

SIR,

The wafps of oppofition have been very bufy with my State Ballad, *< the Grocer of

t 3 3 ^ Tho' * Bofwell, of a fong and fupper vaitij And Bell's whole choir (an ever-jingling train) ^

'' Ne mihi Polydamas & Troiades Labeoneiii Praetulerint : nugae.

NOTES;

LoNDdN,'* and they are welcome. Priy let theni know that I am vain of a hafty compofition which has procured me large draughts of that popular applaufe in which I delight. Let me add, that there was cer- tainly no fervility on my part ; for I publicly declared in Guildhall, between the encores, " that this fame ** Grocer had treated me arrogantly and ungratefully ; *' but that, from his great merit as a Minifter, I was '• compelled to fupport him !"

The time will come, when I (hall have a proper opportunity tofhew, that in one inftance at leaft, the man has wanted wifdom.

Atqui vultus erat multa & prseclara minantis.

Poor Bozzy ! But I too threaten. — And is there need cf thy example, then, to convince me that on

-our firmed refolutions

The noifelefs and maudible foot of death Steals like a thief I

B 2

^\^

C 4 3 In fplay-foot madrigals their pow'rs combine. To praife * Miles Andrews' verfe, and cenfure mine — lO

* No, not a jot. Let the befotted town Beftow as fafhion prompts the laurel crown ;

' • -Non, fi quid turbida Roma

Elevet, accedas : examenve improbum in ilia

NOTES.

• This gentleman, who has long been known as an indudrious paragraph-grinder to the morning papers, took it into his head fome time fince to try his hand at a Prologue. Having none of the ufual requifites for this bufinefs, he laboured to little purpofe ; till Dulnefs, whofe attention to her children is truly ma- ternal, fuggefted to him that unmeaning ribaldry and vulgarity might podibly be fubftituted for harmony, fpi- rit, tafte, and fenfe. — He caught at the hint, made the experiment, and fucceeded to a miracle. Since that period every play-wright, from O'KeefFe to Delia Crufca, " a heavy declenfion !" has been folicitous to preface his labours with a few lines of his manufac- turing, to excite and perpetuate the good humour of his audience. As the reader may probably not dif- like a fhort fpeciraen of Mr. Andrews's wonder- working poetry, I have fubjoined the following ex-

C 5 3 But do not Thou, who mak'ft a fair pretence To that beft boon of Heaven, Common Sense,

Caftiges trutina : nee te quaefiveris extra.

NOTES.

trafl from his laft and beft performance, his prologue to Lorenzo.

*' Feg, cries fat Madam Dump, from Wap-

ping "Wall, ** I dont love plays no longer not at all, *• They're now fo vulgar, and begin fo foon, ** None but low people dines till afternoon ; ** Then they mean fummot, and the like o' that, *' And its impoffible to fit and chat. «* Give me the uppero, where folks come fo

grand in, " And nobody need have no underftanding.

" Ambizione ! del tiranno !

«* Piu forte, piu piano, a che fin —

*' Zounds! here'smy warrant, and I will come in.

«* Diavolo 1 who comes Piere to fo confound us ?

** The conftables, to take you to the round-

houfe. ** Dc round-houfe, ? — Mi ! *' Now comes the dance, the demi charaftere, «' Chacone, the pas de deux, the here, the there ;

B3

C <5 ] ^i Refign thy judgment to the rout, and pay I5

Knee-worfliip to the idol of the day : For all are

Nam Romae eft quis non ? ^ at, fi fas dicere : fed fas

NOTES.

** And laft, the chief high-bounding on the loofe toe,

Or pois'd like any Mercury, O che gafio !

And this was heard with applaufe I And this was read with delight i O fhame ! where is thy blufh i

— :— morantur Pauci ridiculum efFugientem ex urbe pudorem.*

• It is rightly obferved by Solomon that you may bray a fool in a mortar without making him wifer. ypon this principle 1 account for the ftationary ftu- pidity of Mr. Andrews ; whofe faculties, God help the while! do not feem a whit improved by the dreadful pounding he has received. Of him there- fore I waft my hands — but I would fain a(k Meffrs. Morton and Reynolds (the worthy followers of O'Kceffe, and thp preftnt fupportcrs of the Britifh

C 7 ] F. What ? Speak freely ; let me know.

P. ^ O might I ! durft I I Then but let p^

it go.

Tunc, cum ad canitiem, et noftrum iftud vivere

trifle Afpexi, et nucibus facimus quaecunque reli<^is, Cumfapimuspatruos: tunc, tunc. Ignofcite. Nolo.

NOTES.

Stage) whether it be abfohitely neceflary to introduce their Pieces with fuch ineffable nonfenfe as this

Betty, it's come into my head

Old maids grow crofs becaufe their cats are dead ;

My governefs hath been in fuch a fufs

About the death of our old tabby pufs.

She wears black (lockings— ha ! ha ! what a pother,

'Caufe one old cat's in mourning foi another *1

If IT BE NOT — for common-fenfe* fake, Gentle- men fpare us the difgrace of it ; and O Heavens ! if IT BE — deign in mercy fometimes to apply to the Bellman, or the Grave-ftone cutter, that we may ftand a little chance of having our ribaldry and our dog- grel " with a difference. "

* See THE WILL — A Bartholomew-fair farce by Mr. Reynolds.

B4

C 8 3 Yet, when I view the follies that engage The full-grown children of this piping age ; 20 Sec fnivelling Jerningham at fifty weep O'er love-lorn oxen and deferted (heep ; See Cowley * frifk it to one ding-dong chime. And weekly cuckold her poor fpoufe in rhyme ; See Thrale's grey widow with a fatchel roam, 25 And bring in pomp laborious nothings home ; See Robinfon forget her ftate, and move On crutches tow'rds the grave, to t " Light o' Love i"

NOTES.

• For the poetic amours of this lady, fee the Britifh Album, particularly the poem called the Interview ; of which, foit dit en paffant, I have a moft delegable talc to tell, when time fhall ferve.

+ Light o' Love, that's a tune that goes 'without a burden. Shakespeare.

J In the firfl editions of this and the following poem, I had overlooked Mr. Parfons, though an un- doubted Bavian. This nettled him. Ha ! quoth he, in the words of a well known writer, " Better be damn'dthan mentioned not at all." He accordingly

C 9 3

See Parfons ^ while all found advice he fcorns, Miftake two foft excrefcences for horns ; 30

applied to me* (in a circuitous manner I confefs) and as a particular favour was finally admitted, in the fliape of a motto, into the title page of the Maeviad. Thefe w^cre the lines.

May he who hates not CRUScA's/oA^rverfe, Love Merry's drunken profe, fo fmooth and

terfe ; The fame may rake for fenfe in Parson's flcull. And (hear his hogs, poor fool ! and milk his bull. The firfl diftich contains what Mr. Burke calls " high matter ;" andean only be understood by the initiated ; the fecond (would it had never been written !) inftead of gratifying the ambition of Mr. Parfons, as I fondly expefted, and quieting him for ever, had a moft fatal effefl upon his poor head, and from an ho- neft pains-taking gentleman converted him in ima- gination into a Minotaur.

Continuo implevit falfis mugitibus urbem, Et faepe in laevi quasfivit cornua frontem.

♦ Parsons 1 know, and this I heard him fay,

Thitft QifFord's harmlcfs page before him lay, I too can LAUGH, Iwas the first beginner.

Parsons of Himself, Teleg. March 19. Quatn multi faciunc quod Eros, fed lumine ficco, Pis major lachrymas rioet, et intushabet!

C lo ] And butting all he meets, with aukward pains, Lay bare his forehead, and expofe his brains : I fcarce can rule my fpleen

The Motto appeared on a Wednefday ; artd on the Saturday after, the morofoph Efte (who appears to have believed in the reality of the metamorphofis) publifhed the firft bellowings of Mr. Parfons, with the following introduftion :

On Mr. GIFFORD's MOTTO.

" The following spirited chastisement of the vulgar ignorance and malignity in queftion, was fent on Thurfday night — but by an accidental error in one of our clerks, or in the fervant delivering the copy at the office, it was unfortunately miflaid !"

Why, this is as it fhould be ; — " the Gods take care of Cato!" Who fees not that they interfered, and by conveying the copy out of the compofitor's way, procured the Author of the Maeviad two comfor- table nights ! But to the " fpiritedchaftifement. "

** Nor wool the pig, nor milk the bull produces."

The profundity of the laft obfervation, by the bye, proves Mr. Parfons to be an accurate obferver of nature: and if the three Iriflimen who went nine miles to fuck a bull, and came back a-dry, had fortunately had the honour of his acquaintance, we

r " 3

F. Forbear, forbear: And what the great delight in learn to fpare.

NOTES.

fliould probably have heard nothing of their far- famed expedition.

** Nor wool the pig, nor milk the bull produces, ** Yet each has fomething for far different ufes : ^* For boars, pardie! have tuflcs, and bulls hav6

*' HORNS."

H, Ne/AECJ? St Komuv tyfOf^xTo <I>J1NAN,

for from that hour fcarce a week, or indeed a day, elapfed, in which Mr. Parfons did not make himfelf ridiculous, by threatening me in the Tele- graph, the Oracle, &c. with thofe formidable non- entities.

Well and wifely fingeth the poet : — Non unus mentes agit at furor. Yet while I give an involuntary fmile to the oddity of Mr. Parfons' difeafe, I cannot but lament that his friends (and a gentleman who is faid to belong to more clubs than Sir Watkin Lewis, muft needs have friends) I cannot, I fay, but la- inent that on the firft appearance of thofe knobs, thofe '< excrefcences, "as I call them, his friends did not have him cut for the fimples !

C I* 3

'P. It muft not, cannot be ; for I was born 35

To brand obtrufive ignorance with fcorn ; On bloated pedantry to pour my rage. And hifs prepofterous fuftian from the ftage. Lo, Della Crusca*! in his clofet pent. He toils to give the crude conception vent. 40

* Quid faciam ? fed fum petulanti fplene cachinno, Scribimus incluli, numeros ille, hie pede liber,

NOTES.'

• Lo, Della Crusca I

" O thou, to whom fuperior worth's allied,

" Thy Country's honour, and the Mufes pride — ♦»

So fays Laura Maria—

et folem quis dicere falfum Audeat ?

Indeed (he" fays a great deal more ; but as I do not underhand it, I forbear to lengthen my quotation.

Innumerable Odes, Sonnets, &c. publifhed from time to time in the papers, have juftly procured this gentleman the reputation of the firft poet of the age : but the performance which called forth the high- founding panegyric above mentioned, is a philofo-

C 13 3 Abortive thoughts that right and wrong confound, Truth facrific'd to letters, fenfe to found ;

Grande aliquid, quod pulmo animae praelargus anhelet :

NOTES.

phical rhapfody on the French Revolution, called the Wreath of Liberty.

Of this poem no reader (fro'vided he can read) is at this time ignorant: but as there are various opi- nions concerning it, and as I do not choofe perhaps to difpute with a lady of Mrs R — 's critical abilities, I (hall felefl a few paflages from it, and leave the world to judge how truly its author can be faid to be

" gifted with the facred lyre,

♦* Whofe founds can more than mortal thoughts infpire."

This fupernatural effort of genius, then, is chiefly diftinguiftied by three very prominent features. — ■ 1. Downright nonfenfe. 2. Downright frigidity. 3. Downright doggrel. — Of each of thefe in its turn : and firft of the firll.

Hang o'er his eye the goffamery tear. Wreath round her airy harp the tim'rous joy. A web-work of defpair, a mafs of woes. And o'er my lids the fcalding tumour roll.

t 14 3 Falfe glare, incongruous images, combine ; And noife and nonfenfe clatter through the line.

' Scilicet haec populo, pexufque togaque recentij

NOTES.

** Tumour, a morbid fwelling." Johnson. An excellent thing to roll over an eye, efpecially if it happen to be hot and hot, as in the prefent cafe.

fummer-tints begemm'd the fcene.

And filky ocean flept in glofly green.

While air's noflurnal ghoft, in paly Hiroud, Glances with griefly glare from cloud to cloud.

And gauzy zephyrs, fluttring o'er the plain, On twilight's bofom drop their filmy rain.

Unus inftar omnium ! This couplet ftaggered me, I fhould be loth to be found correcting a madman ; and yet mere folly feems unequal to the produ6lion of fuch exquifite nonfenfe.

2do.

days of old Their perifh'd, proudeft, pageantry unfold.

nothing I defcry.

But the bare boaft of barren heraldry.

the huntrefs queen.

Showers her (hafts of filver o'er the fcene. To thefe add, moody monarchs, radiant rivers, cooling cataraas, lazy loires (of which, by the bye,

C 15 3 "Tis done. Her houfe the generous Piozxi lends, 45

Et natalitia tandem cum fardonyche albus,

NOTES.

there are none), gay garonnes, gloomy glafs, mingling murder, dauntlefs day, lettered lightnings, delicious dilatings, finking forrows, rich reafonings, melio- rating mercies, dewy vapours damp that fweep the filent fwamp ; and a world of others, to be found in the compafs of half a dozen pages.

3tio. In phofphor blaze of genealogic line. N. B. Written to " the turning of a brazen candle ftick."

O better were it ever to be loft

In black negation's lea, than reach the coaft.

This couplet may be placed to advantage under the firft head.

Should the zeal of parliament be empty words.

turn to France, and fee

Four million men in arms for liberty.

doom for a breath

A hundred reafoning hecatombs to death.

C x6 3

**^ And thither fummons her blue-ftocking friends ; \j)^\ ^ 1 The fummons her blue-ftocking friends obey, \ \|

\^ ^yf^ J Lur'd by the love of Poetry — and Tea.

^ - ..

'^'\fy\ • The Bard fteps forth in birth-day fplendour dreft, y^ ^ His right hand graceful waving o'er his breaft ; 50 w'^j.C' -^ His left extending, fo that all might fee,

"^ A roll infcrib'd " The Wbeath of Li-

berty."

Sede legens celfa, liquido cum plafmate guttur Mobile collueris, patranti fradtus ocello,

NOTES.

A hecatomb is a facrifice of a hundred head of oxen. Where did this gentleman hear of their rea- Joning ?

Awhile I'll ruminate on time and fate ; And the mofl: probable event of things .

EuCE, MAGKB POETA ! Well may Laura Maria fay.

That Genius glows in every claflic line, And Nature di<^ates— every thing that's thine.

C 17 ] So forth he fteps, and with complacent air, Bows round the circle, and aflumes the chair : With lemonade he gargles firft his throat, 55 Then fweetly preludes to the liquid note : 2 And now 'tis filence all. Genius or muse* — Thus while the flowry fubjedl he purfues, A wild delirium round th' affembly flies ; Unufual luftre flioots from Emma's eyes ; 60

Luxurious Arno drivels as he ftands ; And Anna friflcs, and Laura claps her hands.

8 Hie neque more probo videas, neque voce ferena Ingentes trepidare Titos, cum carmina lumbum

NOTES,

• Genius or Muse, whoe'er thou art, whofe

thrill Exalts the fancy, and inflames the will, Bids o'er the heart fublime fenfation roll. And wakes ecftatic fervour in the foul.

See the commencement of the Wreath of Liberty, where our great poet, with a dexterity peculiar to himfelf, has contrived to fill feveral quarto pages without a fingle idea.

c

^\

C i8 3 * O wretched man ! And dost thou toil to pleafe, V - At this late hour* fuch prurient ears as thefe ?

Is thy poor pride contented to receive 65

Such tranfitory fame as fools can give r Fools who unconfcious of the critic's laws. Rain in fuch (how'rs their indistinft applaufe. That Thou, even Thou, who liv'st upon re- ' ' nown,

And with eternal puffs infult'st the town, 70

Intrant, et tremulo fcalpuntur ubi intima verfu. ^ Tun' vetule auriculis alienis colligis efcas ? Auriculis quibus et dicas cute perditus ohe !

NOTES.

• I learn from Delia Crufca's lamentations that he is declined into the vale of years j that the women fay to him, as they formerly faid to Anacreon, Tifutu* and that Love, about two years fince,

** tore his name from his bright page,

And gave it to approaching age."

C 19 3

l^s^ Art forc'd at length to check the idiot roar.

And cr}', ** For heaven's fweet fake, no more, no

" more !" " But why (thou fay 'ft) why am I leam'd, why ■

" fraught '\J\/' p^

" With all the priest and all the fage have

taught, ** If the huge mafs, within my bofom pent, 75 ** Muft ftruggle there, defpairing of a vent ?" ^Thou learn'd! Alas, for Learning! She is

fped. And hast thou dimm'd thy eyes, and rack'd thy

head And broke thy reft for this, for this alone ? And is thy knowledge nothing if not known ? 80

Quo didicifle, nifi hoc fermentum, et quae femel

intus Innata eft, rupto jecore exierit caprificus ? En pallor, feniumque. * O mores ! ufque adeone Scire tuum, nihil est, nifi te fcire hoc, fciat alter ? C 2

[20]

O fool, fool, fool !— k But ftill, thou crieft, *tis fweet ri To hear " That's He !" from every one we

meet ; That's he whom critic Bell declares divine, For whom the fair diurnal laurels twine ; ». i Whom Magazines, Reviews, confpire to praife, 85

And Greathead calls the Homer of our days.

F. And is it nothing, then, to hear our name Thus blazon'd by the general voice of fame ? P. Nay, it were every thing, did that dif- \! N| penfe

The fober verdifl found by tafte and fenfe. 90 But mark our jury. O'er the flowing bowl, When wine has drown'd all energy of foul,

^ At pulchrum eft digito monftrari, et dicier. Hie

eft: Ten cirratorum centum didata fuifle Pro nihilo pendes ? Ecce inter pocula quaerunt Romulidae faturi, quid dia poemata narrent.

C 21 ]

Ere Faro comes (a dreary interval !)

For fome fond faftiionable lay they call. ^ /

Here the fpruce enfign, tottering on his chair, 95

With lifping accent, and afFeded air,

Recounts the wayward fate* of that poor poet,

Who born for anguifti, and difpos'd to fhew It,

Hie aliquis, cui circum humeros hyacinthina

laena eft, Rancidulum quiddam balba de nare locutus,

NOTES.

• Recounts the wayward fate. — In the Interview (fee the Britifti Album) the lover finding his miftrefs inexorable, comforts himfelf, and juftifies her, by boafting how well he can play the fool. And never did Don Quixote exhibit half fo many extravagant tricks in the Sierra Morena, for the beaux yeux of his Dulcinea, as our diftrafled amorofo threatens to perform for the no lefs beautiful ones of Anna Ma- tilda.

" Yes, I will prove that I deferve my fate. Was born for anguifli, and was form'd for hate j "With fuch tranfcendent woe will breathe my

figh, ** That envying fiends fhall think it ecftafy," &c.

C3

\V

^

C " 3 Did yet fo aukwardly his means employ. That gaping fiends mistook his grief for joy. loo

Lost in amaze at language fo divine, The audience hiccup, and exclaim, " Damn'd

fine !" And are not now the author's aflies blest ? Now lies the turf not lightly on his breast ? Po not fweet violets now around him bloom ? 1 05 Laurels now burst fpontaneous fronts his tomb.

F. This is mere mockery : and (in your car) Reafon is ill refuted by a fneer. Is praife an evil ? Is there to be found One fo indifierent to its foothing found, up

As not to wifh hereafter to be known. And make a long futurity his own ; Rather than —

P. — With 'Squire Jerningham defcend To pastry-cooks and moths, " and there an

end !"

Phyllidas, Hypfipylas, vatum et plorabile fi quid Eliquat, et tenero fupplantat verba palato.

C 23 ]

* O thou that deign'st this homely fcene to fliare, 115

Thou know'st when chance {tho' this indeed be rare *J

Affenfere viri. Nunc non cinis ille poetae Felix ? non levior cippus nunc imprimit offa ? Laudant convivae nunc non e manibus illis. Nunc non e tumulo, fortunataque favilla. ^ Quifquis es, O, modo quern ex adverfo dicere feci, Non ego, cum fcribo, fi forte quid aptius exit, Quando hoc rara avis eft, fi quid tamen aputius

exit, Laudari metuam ; nequeenim mihi cornea fibraeft: Sed redti finemque extremumque effe rccufo

NOTES.

* To fee how a Crufcan can blunder ! Mr. Par- fons thus politely comments on this unfortunate he- miftich.

*• Thou lowefl; of the imitating race,

** Thou imp of fatire, and thou foul difgrace ;

«* Who calleft each coarfe phrafe a lucky hit, &c."

C4

C »4 ] With random gleams of wit has grac'd my lays, Thou know'ft too well how I have reUTh'd praife. Not mine the foul that pants not after fame — Ambitious of a poet's envied name, 1 20

I haunt the facred fount, athirft to prove The grateful influence of the ftream I love. And yet, my friend (though ftill at praife be-

ftow'd Mine eye has gliften'd, and my cheek has

glow'd)

Nafcentur violae ? Rides, ait, et nimis uncis Naribus indulges : an erit, qui velle recufet Os populi meruifl!e ; et cedro digna locutus, Linquere nee fcombros metuentia carmina, nee thus ?

NOTES.

Alas! no: I call few of them fo. But this is of a piece with his qui-pro-qub on the preface to the Maeviad — where, on my faying I had laid the poem afide for two years, he exultingly exclaims, " Soh ! it was two years in hand then !"

Mr. P. is highly celebrated, I am told, for his fkill in driving a bargain : it is to be prefumed he does it with his fpe£tacles on I

X »5 3 Yet when I prostitute the lyre to gain 1 25

The eulogies that wait each modifti strain, May the fweet Mufe my groveling hopes with- stand, And tear the strings indignant from my hand ; Nor think that, while my verfe too much I prixe. Too much th' applaufe of fafhion I defpife ; 130 For mark to what 'tis given, and then declare. Mean tho' I am, if it be worth my care. Is it not given to Este's unmeaning da(h. To Topham's fustian, Colman's flippant trafh. To Andrews'* doggrel — where three wits com-' bine 135

To Morton's catch- word t, Greathead's ideot line, r And Holcroft's Shug-lane cant, and Merry's I Moorfields whine :J:. J

Euge tuum, & belle; nam belle hoc, excute totum.

NOTES.

• Andrews. — Such is the reputation this gentleman has obtained for Epilogue writing, that the minor

C 26 ] " Skill'd in one ufeful fcience at the leaff, The great man comes, and fpreads a fumptuous feast :

Quid non intus habet ? Non hie est I lias Atti Ebria veratro ; non fi qua elegidia crudi Di6tarunt proceres ; non quidquid denique led^is " Scribitur in citreis : calidum fcis ponere fumen, Scis comitem horridulum trita donate lacerna : Et verum, iniquis, amo ; verum mihi dicite de me. Qui pote ? vis dicam ? nugaris— —

NOTES.

poets of the day, defpairing of emulating, are now only folicitous of afllfting him — happy if they can ob- tain admiflion for a couplet or two into the body of his immortal works, and thus fecure to themfelves a fmall portion of that popular applaufe fo laviflily, and fo juftly beftowed on every thing that bears the figna» ture of Miles Andrews 1 See '* the Prologue to the Cure for the Heart Ach by Miles Andrews, and Assistants,

f Morton's catch-word. — Wonderful is the profundity of the Bathos ! I thought O'Keefe had reached the. bottom of it : but as uncle Bowling fays, I thought a d — n'd lie — for Holcroft, Reynolds, and

C a? 3

Then,when his guefts behold the prize at ftake, 140 And thirft and hunger only are awake,

Vos, O patricius fanguis, quos vivere fas eft Occipiti casco, pofticae occurrite fannae.

NOTES.

Morton, have funk infinitely beneath him. They have happily found

In the loiueft deep a loiuer ftill,

and perfevere in exploring it with an emulation which does them honour.

Will pofterity believe this facetious triumverate could think nothing more to be neceflary to the conftruftion of a play, than an eternal repetition of fome contemptible vulgarity, fuch as That's your fort j Hey, damme! What's to pay ! Keep moving, &c.! They will : for they will have blockheads of their own ; who will found their claims to celebrity on fimilar follies. What, however, they will never cre_ dit is — that thefe drivellings of ideotifm, thefe catch- words, Ihould aftually preferve their refpedlive au^ thors from being hiffed off the ftage. No, they will not believe that an Englifti audience could be fo be- fotted, fo brutified as to receive fuch fenfelefs excla-,

My friends, he cries, what do the galleries fay. And what the boxes, of my laft new play ? Speak freely, tell me all — come, be lincere ; For truth, you know, is mufic to my ear. 145 They fpeak ? Alas, they cannot ! But (hall I j I who receive no bribe, who dare not lie ?

mations with burfts of laughter, with peals of ap- plaufe. I cannot believe it myfelf ; though I have witnefled it. Haud credo — if I may reverfe the good father's pofition — Haud credo, quia poffibile eft.

% Merry's Moorfields' whine. — In a moft wretched rhapfody of incomprehenfible nonfenfe, addreffed by this gentleman to Mrs. Robinfon, which fhe in her *valuable poems (page 100) calls a charming compo- fition, abounding in lines of exquifite beauty, is the following rant :

Conjure up demons from the main Storms upon ftorms indignant heap. Bid ocean howl, and nature weep. Till the Creator blujb to fee H01U horrible his ivorld can be : While I will glory to blaspheme, And make the joys of hell my theme. The reader, perhaps, wonders what dreadful event gave birth to thefe fearful imprecations. As far as I

i *9 3 This then— " that worfe was never writ before, Nor worfe will be — till thou fhalt write once

more. '* ° Blest be " two-headed Janus !" tho' inclin'd, 150 No waggifti stork can peck at him behind ; He no wry mouth, no lolling tongue can fear, Nor the brifk twinkling of an afs's ear. But you, ye St. Johns, curs'd with one poor head, Alas ! what mockeries have not ye to dread ! 155

" O Jane, a tergo quern nulla ciconia pinlit, Nee manus auriculas imitata eft mobilis albas, Nee linguae, quantum fitiat canis Apula, tantae.

NOTES.

can collefl, it was — tlie aforefaid Mrs. Robinfon's net opening her eyes ! ! ! Surely it is moft devoutly to be wifhed that thefe poor creatures would recolleft, amidft their frigid ravings, and common-place extra- vagancies, that excellent maxim of Pope—.

** Perfift, by nature, reafon, tafte, unaw'd ;

<« But learn, ye Dunces, not to fcorn your God."

C 30 ]

•Hear now our guests : — The critics, Sir! they cry — Merit like yours the critics may defy. But this indeed they fay — " Your varied rhymes. At once the boast and envy of the times. In every page, fong, fonnet, what you will, 160 Shew boundlefs genius, and unrivall'd fkill.

If comedy be yours, the fearching strain Gives a fweet pleafure, fo chastis'd by pain. Than e*en the guilty at their fufFerings fmile. And blefs the lancet, tho' they bleed the while. 165

• Quis populi fermo eft ? quis enim, nifi carmina

molli Nunc demum numero fluere, ut per leve fevcros

EfFundatjunftura ungues

Sive opus in mores, in luxum, in prandia regum, Dicere res grandes nostro dat Mufa poetae. Ecce modo heroas fenfus afFerre videmus Nugari folitos Graece, nee ponere lucum

C 3t 3

If tragedy, th' impaffion'd numbers flow In all the fad variety of woe, With fuch a liquid lapfe, that they betray The breast unwares, and steal the foul away.'* Thus fool'd, the moon-struck tribe, whofe best effays 170

Sunk in acrostics and in roundelays. To loftier labours now pretend a call. And bustle in heroics, one and alh E'en Bertie burns of gods and chiefs to fing— Bertie who lately twitter'd to the string 1 75

His namby-pamby madrigals of love. In the dark dingles of a glittering grove. Where airy lays,* woven by the hand of morn, Were hung to dry upon a cobweb thorn ! ! !

Artifices, nee rus faturum laudare,— Euge, poeta !

NOTES.

♦ Where airy lays, &c. «« Was it the fhuttle of the morn " That hung upon the cobweb'd thorn

C 32 ] Happy the foil where bards like mufhrooms rife, 180

And afk no culture but what Byflie fupplies ! Happier the bards who, write whate'er they will. Find gentle readers to admire them ftill !

Some love the verfe that like Maria's flows No rubs to ftagger, and no fenfe to pofe ; 185

Which read, and read, you raife your eyes in

doubt, And gravely wonder what it is about. Thefe fancy " Bell's Poetics" only fweet. And intercept his hawkers in the ftreet ; "'

Eft nunc Brifaei quern venofus liber Acci Sunt quos Pacuviufque, et verrucofa moretur Antiopa, aerumnis cor lu<5lificabile fulta.

NOTES.

" Thy airy lay ? Or did it rife,

*♦ In thoufand rich enamell'd dyes,

*' To greet the noon-day fun," &c.

Bell's Album, vol. ii.

C 33 3

There, fmoaking hot, inhale *Mit Yen da's

ftrains, 190

And the rank fume of Tony Pasquin's brains.t

♦ MiT Yenda. This is Mr. Tim, alias Mr. Timothy Adney, a molt pertinacious gentleman, who makes a confpicuous figure in the papers under the ingenious fignature above cited ; being, as the reader already fees, his own name read backward. ** Gentle dulnefs ever loves a joke !"

Of his prodigious labours I have nothing by me but the following flanza, taken from what he calls his Poor Man :

Reward the bounty of your generous hand.

Your head each night in comfort fhall be latd^ And plenty fmile throughout your fertile land. While I do haften to the filent grave.

" Good morrow, my worthy matters andmiftrefles all J and a merry Chriftmas to you."

I find I have been guilty of a mifnomer. Mr. Ad- ney having politely informed me, fince the above was written, that his chriftian name is not Timothy but Thomas. The Anagram in queftion, therefore muft be Mot Yenda ; omitting the h euphonia gratia ; I am happy in an opportunity of doing juftice to fo correal a gentleman, and I pray him to continue his valuable labour.

D

C 34 3

Others, like Kemble, on black letter pore, And what they do not underftand, adore ;

NOTES.

t Tony Pasquin. — I have too much refpefl for my reader to affront him with any fpccimens of this man's poetry, at once licentious and dull beyond ex- ample : at the fame time I cannot refift the temptation of prefenting him with the following flanzas, written by a friend of mine, and fufficiently illuftrative of the charafler in queftion :

To Anthony Pasquin, Efq.

Why doft thou tack, moft fimple Anthony, The name of Pafquin to thy ribbald drains ?

Is it a fetch of wit, to let us fee

Thou, like that ftatue, art devoid of brains ?

But thou miftak'ft : for know, tho' Pafquin's head Be full as hard, and near as thick, as thine ;

Yet has the world admiring on it read

Many a keen gibe, and many a fportive line.

While nothing from thy jobbernowl can fpring But impudence and filth ; for out, alas!

Do what we will, 'tis ftillthe fame vile thing, Within, all brick-duft — and without, all brafs.

C 35 3 Buy at vaft fums the trajh of ancient days, And draw on prodigality for praife. 190

Thefe, when fome lucky hit, or lucky price, Has blefs'd them with " The Boke of good ad- vice,"

Hos pueris monitus patres infundere lippos Cum videas, quverifque unde haec fartago lo- quendi

NOTES.

Then blot the name of Pasquin from thy page : Thou feeft it will not thy poor rifF-rafF fell.

Some other wouldft thou take ? I dare engage John Williams, or Tom Fool, will do as well.

Tony has taken my friend's advice, and now fells or attempts to fell " his rifF-rafF" under the name of John Williams.

It has been reprefented to me, that I fhould do well to avoid all mention of this man ; from a confideration that one fo loft to every fenfe of decen- cy and fliame, was a fitter obje£l for the Beadle

D 2

C 36 3

For ekes and algates only deign to feek, And live upon a whilome for a week *.

And can we when fuch mope-eyed dolts are plac'd 200

By thoughtlefs fafliion on the throne of tafte —

Venerit in linguas ? unde istud dedecus ?

' Fur es, ait Pedio. Pedius quid ? crimina rafis

NOTES.

than the Mufe. This has induced me to lay afide a fecond caftigation which I had prepared for him, though I do not think it expedient to omit what I had formerly written.

Here on the rack of Satire let him lie. Fit garbage for the hell-hound Infamy.

One word more. I am. told there are men fo weak as to deprecate this miferable objefl's abufe, and fo vain, fo defpicably vain, as to tolerate his praife — for fuch I have nothing but pity ; — though the fate of Haftings, fee the " Pin-bafket to the Chil- dren of Thefpis," holds out a dreadful leflbn to the latter — but fhould there be a man, or a woman— however high their rank — bafe enough to purchafe the venal pen of this mifcreant for the fake of tra-

C 37 ] Say, can we wonder whence this jargon flows. This motley fuftian, neither verfe nor profe. This old new language that defiles our page, The refufe and the fcum of every age ? 205

Librat in antithetis ; dodlas pofuifle figuras Laudatur j bellum hoc. Hoc bellum ? An Ro- mule ceves ?

NOTES.

ducing innocence and virtue ; then 1 was about

to ; but 'tis not neceflary : the profligate

cowards who employ Antony can know no feverer punifhment than the fupport of a man whofe ac- quaintance is infamy, and whofe touch is poifon.

* Others like Kemble, Sec. — Tho' no great Cata- logue hunter, I love to look into fuch marked ones as fall in my way. That of poor Dood's books amufed me not a little. It exhibited many inflances of black LETTER mania; and, what is more to my purpofe, a transfer of much *' trafli of ancient days," to the fortunate Mr. Kemble. For example.

£• ^ d

Firft part of the tragicall Raigne of Seli-

mus Emperour of the Turks - - - i 11 6 D3

5xi

C 38 3 Lo, Beaufoy * tells of Afric's barren fand In all the flow'ry phrafe of fairy land :

I- s. d. Jacob and Efau, a Mery and Whittle

Comedie - - - - - 350

Look About You, a comedie - - - - 5 7 6

The tragedie of T« Nero, Rome's Created

Tyraunte, &c. &c. ----.-140

How are we ruined !

* Lo ! Beaufoy, &c. — ^^'Y\ititt.X.zxt accommodated with (hoes, f, and the head is protested by a — woollen nightcap."

African Association, p. 139.

f Shoes — By your leave, xnafier critic, here is a fmall overfight in your quotation. The gentleman does not fay their feet are accommodated with /hoes, but with Jlippers. For the left, accomodate , as I learn, is a fchular-like word, and a word of exceeding great propriety. Accommodate! it comes from accommodo * that is, when a man's feet are, as they fay, accommodated ; or when they are — being — whereby they may be thought to be accommodated : which is an excellent thing.

Printer's Dzvil.

C 39 3

There Fezzan's thrum-capp'd tribes, Turks,

Chriftians, Jews, Accommodatey ye gods ! their feet with fhocs. There meagre fhrubs inveterate mountains

grace, 2io

And brufhwood breaks the amplitude of /pace. Perplex'd with terms fo vague and undefin'd, I blunder on ; till wilder'd, giddy, blind, Where'er I turn, on clouds I feem to tread ; And call for Mandeville to eafe my head. 21 ^ Oh for the good old times ! When all was new, And every hour brought prodigies to view. Our fires in unaffedled language told Of ftreams of amber, and of rocks of gold :

*♦ From this fcene of gladfome contraft, i. e. from the mountain of Zillaii (p. 288', whole rugged fides are marked with fcanty fpots of brufhwood, and en- riched with ftores of water, to the long afcent of the broad rock of Gerdobah (p. 289), from whole inflexi- ble barrennefo little is to be got — from this fcene, I fay, of gladfome contraft to the iti'ueterate mountains of Gegogib, &c."

D4

C 40 ] Full of their theme, they fpurn'd all idle art, 220 And the plain tale was truftcd to the heart. Now all is changed ! We fume and fret, poor

elves ; Lels to difplay our fubjed^, than ourfelves : Whate'er we paint — a grot, a flow'r, a bird. Heavens, how we fweat, laborioufly abfurd ! 225 Words of gigantic bulk, and uncouth found, In rattling triads the long fentence bound ; While points with points, with periods periods

jar. And the whole work feems one continued war ! Is not THIS fad?

F. " 'Tis pitiful, God knows, 230 ** 'Tis wondrous pitiful." E'en take the profe ; But for the poetry — oh, that my friend, I ftill afpire — nay, fmile not — ^to defend.

NOTES.

*' In the long courfe of a feven-days paflage, the traveller is fcarcely fenfible that a few fpots of thin and meagre brufhwood flightly interrupt the vaft expanfe of flerility, and diminifh the amplitude of defolation! I I"

C 41 3

r You praife our fires, but, though they wrote

with force, Their rhymes were vicious, and their didion

coarfe ; 235

We want theirjirength : agreed. But we atone For that, and more, hy fweetnefs all our own. For instance — " * Hasten to the lawny vale, ** Where yellow morning breathes her fafFron

gale, " And bathes the landfcapc — "

P. Pfhaw ! I have it here : 240 " A voice feraphic grafps my listening ear : ** Wond'ring I gaze ; when lo ! methought afar, ** More bright than dauntlefs day's imperial star, ** A godlike form advances."

p Sed numeris decor eft, et jundtura addita crudis.

NOTES.

* Haften, &c. — This and the following quotation are taken from the " Laurel of Liberty," a work on which the great author moft juftly refts his claims to immortality.

[ 42 ]

F, You fuppofe Thcfe lines perhaps too turgid ; what of thofe ? 245

" The mighty mother'' — "

P. Now 'tis plain you fneer. For * Weston's felf could find no femblance

here. Weston ! who flunk from truth's imperious light, Swells like a filthy toad, with fecret fpite,

Ut ramale vetus praegrandi fubere co6lum. Claudere fie verfum didicit Berecynthius Atys, Et qui caeruleum dirimebat Nerea Delphin. Sic coftam longo fubduximus Appennino. " "J Arma virum" nonne hoc fpumofum et cortice pingui ?

KOTES.

• Wefton. — This iodefatigable gentleman has been attacking the moral charafter of Pope in the Gentle- man's Magazine, with all the virulence of Gildon, all the impudence of Smedley, and all the ignorance of Curl and his aiTociates.

C 43 3 And, envying the fair fame he cannot hope, 250 Spits his black venom at the dust of Pope. Reptile accurs'd ! — O memorable long, If there be force in virtue or in fong, O injur 'd bard ! accept the grateful strain. That I, the humblest of the tuneful train, 255 With glowing heart, yet trembling hand repay For many a penfive, many a fprightly lay : So may thy varied verfe, from age to age. Inform the fimple, and delight the fage !

NOTES.

What the views of the immaculate Sylvanus may be, in ftanding cap in hand, and complacently holding open the door of the temple, for near two years, to this * " execrable" Eroftratus, I know not. He can- not fiire be weak enough to fuppofe an obfcure fcrib- bler like this has any charges to bring againft our great poet, that efcaped the vigilant malevolence of the Weftons of the Dunciad. Or if ever, from the na- tural goodnefs of his heart, he cheriflied fo laudable a fuppofition, he ought (whatever it may coft him) to forego it : when, after twenty months, nothing is produced but an exploded accufation taken from the

* Such is the epithet applied to Pope by the virtuous in- dignation of this amiable traducer of worth and genius !

C 44 3

While canker'd Wefton, and his loathfome rhymes, 260

Stink in the nofe of all fucceeding times !

Enough ^ But where (for thefe, you feem to fay.

Are famples of the high, heroic lay) 260

Where are the foft, the tender (trains, that call

For the moift eye, bow'd head, and lengthen'd

drawl ? 266

"■ Quidnam igitur tenerum & laxa cervice legen- dum?

NOTES.

moft common edition of the Dunciad ; which, as no- thing but Weftonian rancour could firft make, fo nothing but Weftonian ftupidity can now revive.

It has been fuggefted to me, that this nightman of hterature defigns to reprint as much as can be col- lefledof the heroes of the Dunciad. — If it be fo, the dirty work of traducing Pope may be previoufly ne- ceflTary ; and prejudice itfelf muft own, that he has fhewn uncommon penetration in the feleftion of the blind and outrageous mercenary now fo laborioufly employed in it.

Whatever be the defign, the proceedings are by no means inconfiftent with the plan of a work which

C 45 3 Lo! here " *Canft thou, Matilda, ui^ my

fate, ** And bid me mourn thee ? — yes, and mourn too

late! ** O rafti, fevere decree ! my maddening brain *' Cannot the ponderous agony fuftain ;

Torva Mimalloneis implerunt cornua bombis, Et raptum vitulo caput ablatura fuperbo Baflaris

NOTES.

may not unaptly be ftyled the charnel-house of REPUTATION, and which from the days of Lauder to the prefent, has delighted to afperfe every thing venerable amongft us — which accufed Switt of luft, and Addifon of drunkennefsj which infulted the aflies of Toup while they were yet warm, and gib- beted poor Henderfon alive ; which afteded to ido- lize the great and good Howard, while idolatry was painful to him ; and the moment he fell, glorioufly fell, in the exercife of the moft fublime virtue, at- tempted to (ligmatife him as a brute and amonfter !

* Canftthou Matilda, &c. (vide Album, vol. ii.) — Matilda! "nay then, I'll never truft a madman again." It was but a few minutes fince, that Mr. Merry died for the love of Laura Maria ; and now is

C 46 3 ** But forth I rufli, from vale to mountain

run, 270

" And with my mind's thick gloom obfcure the

fun." « Heavens ! if our ancient vigour were not fled. Could VERSE like this be w^ritten or be read ? Verse! that's the mellow fruit of toil intenfe, Infpir'd by genius, and informed by fenfe ; 275 This, the abortive progeny of Pride And Dulnefs, gentle pair, for aye allied ; Begotten without thought, born without pains. The ropy drivel of rheumatic brains.

• Haec fierent, R testiculi vena ulla patemi Viveret in nobis ? fumma delumbe faliva. Hoc natat in labris : et in udo est Maenas et Atys ; Nee pluteum caedit, nee demorfos fapit ungues.

NOTES.

he going to do the fame thing for the love of Anna Matilda ?

What the ladies may fay to fuch a fwain, I know not ; but certainly he is too prone to run wild, die, &c. &c. Such indeed is the combuftible nature of this gentleman.

C 47 ] F. 'So let it be: and yet, methinks, my friend, 280

Silence were wife, where fatire will not mend. Why wound the feelings of our noble youth. And grate their tender ears with odious truth ? They cherifli *Amo, and his flux of fong, And hate the man who tells 'em they are wrong. 280

* Sed quid opus teneras mordaci radere vero Auriculas ? vide fis, ne majorum tibi forte

that he takes fire at every female fignature in the pa- pers : and I remember, that when Olaudo Equiano, (who, for a black, is not ill-featured) tried his hand at a foft fonnet, and by miftake fubfcribed it Olauda, Mr, Merry fell fo defperately in love with him, and "yelled ** out fuch fyllables of dolour" in confequence of it, that " the pitiful hearted" negro was frightened at the mifchief he had done, and tranfmitted in all hafte the

following correftion to the editor *' For OlaudJ,

** pleafe to read OlaudO, the black man."

* Of this /pes altera Roma, this fecond hope of the age, the following ftanzas will afford a fufficient fpecimen. They are taken from a ballad which

C 4« 3 Thy fate already I forefee. My Lord With cold refpedl will freeze thee from his board ; And his Grace cry, " Hence with your fapient

fneer ! ** Hence ! we defire no currifli critic here."

Limina frigefcant : fonat hie de narc canina

NOTES.

Mr. Bell, an admirable judge of thefe matters,

calls a " very mellifluous one j eafy, artlefs, and unafFefted."

Gently o'er the rifing blllo'ws Softly fteals the bird of night,

Rujlling thro' the betiding luillotus ; Fluttering pinions mark her flight.

Whither now \nfilence bending^ Ruthlefs winds deny thee reft ;

Chilling night-detus faft defcending Gliften on thy downy bread.

Seeking fome kind hand to guide thee,

Wiftful turns \\iy fearful eye ; Trembling as the willows hide thee.

Sheltered from th' inclement Iky.

The ftory of this poor owl, who was at one and the fame time at fea and on land, filent and noify.

C 49 ]

P. Enough. ^ Thank heaven ! my error now I fee, And all (hall be divine henceforth for me :

Litera. ^ Per me equidem fint omnia protinus alba,

NOTES.

fheltered and expofed, is continued through a few more of thefe " mellifluous" flanzas : which the reader, I doubt not, will readily forgive me for omitting; more efpecially if he reads the Oracle, a PAPER honoured — as the grateful editor very properly has it — by the effufions of this " artlefs" gentleman above all others.

N. B. On looking again, I find the owl to be a Nightingale. — N'importe.

It was faid of Theophilus Gibber (I think by Goldfmith), that as he grew older, he grew never the better. Much the fame (mutatis mutandis) may be faid of the gentlemen of the Baviad. After an in- terval of two years, I find the " mellifluous" Arno celebrating Mrs. Robinfon's Novel in ftrains, like thefe :

C 50 3 Yes, Andrew's doggrell, Greathead's idiot line, And Morton's catch-word, all, forfooth, di- vine ! 290 F. 'Tis well. Here let th' indignant stricture ceafe. And Leeds at length enjoy his fool in peace.

Nil moror: euge, omnes, omnes bene mirae

eritis res. Hoc juvat : hie iniquis, veto quifquam faxit

oletum.

NOTES.

For the ORACLE. SONNET to Mrs. ROBINSON, Upon reading her VANCENZA^

WHAT never-ceafing Mufic ! From the throne Where fweeteft Sensibility enfhrin'd

Pours out her tender triumphs, all alone To every murmuring breeze of palling wind f

C 51 3 P, Come then, around their works a circle draw, And near it plant the dragons of the law ; With labels writ, " Critics far hence remove, 295 ** Nor dare to cenfure what the great approve." I go. K Yet Hall could lafti with noble rage The purblind patron of a former age,

Pinge duos angues : pueri, facer est locus, extra Mejite; ^difcedo: fecuit Lucilius urbem,

NOTES.

O, bleft with all the lovely lapfe of Song, That bathes with pureft balm the foften'd breaft,

I fee thee urge thy Fancy's courfe along The folemn glooms of Gothic piles unbleft.

Van c EN z A rifes — o'er her time-touch'd fpires Guilt unreveaV d hovers with killing dew,

Fruftrates the fondnefs of the Virgin's fires, And bares the murderous Casket to her view.

The thrilling pulfe creeps back upon each Heart, And Horror lords it by thy facinating Art.

ARNO.

Et vitula Tu dignus, et H^c ! The Novel is wor- thy of the Poetry ; the Poetry of the Novel.

E 2

C 5» 3 And laugh to fcorn th' eternal fonnetteer Who made goofe- pinions and white rags fo dear. Yet Oldham in his rude, unpolifli'd strain, 301 Could hifs the clamorous, and deride the vain. Who bawl'd their rhymes inceffant thro' the

town. Or brib'd the hawkers for a day's renown. Whate'er the theme, with honest warmth they

wrote, 305

Nor car'd what Mutius of their freedom thought : Yet profe was venial in that happy time. And life had other bufinefs than to rhyme.

^ And may not I — now this pernicious peft. This metromania, creeps thro' every breast ; 310 Now fools and children void their brains by loads, And itching grandams fpawl lafcivious odes ;

Te Lupe, te Muti, & genuinum fregit in illis. •> Men' mutire nefas, nee clam, nee cum fcrobe ?

Nufquam. Hie tamen infodiam. Vidi, vidi ipfe, libelle :

C 53 J

Now lords and dukes, curs'd with a fickly taste. While Burns' pure healthful nurture runs to

waste. Lick up the fpittle of the bed rid mufe, 315

And riot on the fweepings of the stews ; Say, may not I expofe —

F. No — 'tis unfafe. Prudence my friend.

P. What ! not deride, not laugh ? Well ! thought at least is free —

F. O yet forbear. P. Nay, then, I'll dig a pit, and bury there The dreadful truth that fo alarms thy fears : 320 The town, the town, good pit, has

asses ears ! Thou think'st perhaps, this wayward fancy

Strange ; So think thou still ; yet would not I exchange

Auriulas afini Mida rex habet. Hoc ego oper-

tum. Hoc ridere meum tarn nil, nulla tibi vendo E3

C 54 3 The fecret humour of this fimple hit 325

For all the Albums that were ever writ. Of this no more. O thou (if yet there be One bofom from this vile infedion free) , Thou who canst thrill with joy, or glow with

ire. As the great masters of the fong infpire 330

Canst hang enamour'd o'er the magic page, Where defperate ladies defperate lords engage. Gnomes, Sylphs, and Gods the fierce contention

(hare. And heaven and earth hang trembling on a hair ; Canft quake with horror while Emilia's charms Againft a brother point a brother's arms, 335 And trace the fortune of the varying fray, While hour on hour flits unperceived away —

Iliade. Audaci quicunque afflate Cratino, Iratum Eupolidem praegrandi cum fene palles, Afpice & haec, fi forte aliquid decoflius audis.

C 55 3

Approach : 'twixt hope and fear I wait. O deign To caft a glance on this incondite ftrain : 340 Here, if thou find one thought but well expreft, One fentence higher finifh'd than the reft, Such as may win thee to proceed awhile, And fmooth thy forehead with a gracious fmile, I afk no more. ' But far from me the throng, 345 Who fancy fire in Laura's vapid fong. Who Anna's bedlam-rant for fenfe can take. And over * Edwin's mewlings keep awake ;

Inde vaporata ledor mihi ferveat aure,

* Non hie, qui in crepidas Graiorum ludere geftit,

Sefe aliquem credens, Italo quod honore fupinus

KOTES.

• Edivin^s Metolings, &c.) — We come now to a character of high refpefl, the profound Mr. T. Vaughan, who, under the alluring fignature of Ed- win, favours us from time to time with a melancholy poem on the death of a bug, the flight of an earwig, the mifcarriage of a cock-chafFer, or fome other event of equal importance.

E4

C 56 3

Yes, far from me, whate'er their birth or place, Thefe long-ear 'd judges of the Phrygian race, 350

Fregerit heminas —

NOTES.

His laft work was an Ewtrof «>» (blefTmgs on his learning ! ), which I take for granted means an Epi- taph, on a moufe that broke her heart : and, as it was a matter of great confequence, he very properly made the introduftion as long as the poem itfelf. Hear how gravely he prologifeth :

On a tame moufe, nvbich belonged to a lady ivhofaved its life, conftantlyfed it, and even luept, poor lady I at its approaching death. The moufe^s eyes ailually dropped out of its head, poor moufe! the day be- fore IT DIED.

This feeling moufe whofe heart was warm'd

By Pity's pureft ray, Becaufe her Miftrefs dropt a tear,

Wept both her eyes away.

By fympathy depriv'd of light, She one day's darknefs tried ;

C 57 3 Their cenfure and their praife alike I fcorn, And hate the laurel by their followers worn !

NOTES.

The grateful tear no more could floiu^ So lik'd it not, and died.

May we when others weep for us,

The debt with int'reft pay — And, when the gen'rous fonts are dry,

Revert to native clay,

EDWIN.

Mr. T. Vaughan has aflerted that he is not the author of this matchlefs Emrafptov, with fuch fpirit, and retorted upon one Baviad (whom without all con- troverfy the learned gentleman takes to be a man) with fuch ftrength of argument, and elegance of diftion, that I fhould wrong both him and the reader, to give it in any words but his own.

** Well faid, Baviad the correal ! — And fo the PROFOUND Mr. T. Vaughan, as you politely ftyle him, writes under the alluring fignature of Edwin, does he ? and therefore a very proper fubjeftfor your fatiric malignity 1 — But fuppofe for a moment, as the truth and the fafl is, that this gentleman never did ufe that fignature upon any occafion, in whatever he may have written : Do not you the identical Baviad,

E 58 3

Let fuch, a tafk congenial to thejr powers, At fales and audions waste the morning hours.

His mane edidum, poft prandia Calliroen do.

NOTES.

in that cafe, for your unprovoked abufe of him, im- mediately fall under your own charafler of that Nightman of Literature you fo liberally afTign Wef- ton ? And like him too, if there is any truth in what you fay or write, do you not

Swell like a filthy toad with fecret fpite ?

The ayes have it. And fliould you not be as well verfed in your favourite Author's Fourth Satire, as you are in the Firft, with your leave, I will quote from it tiJDo emphatic lines :

** Into themfelves how few, how few defcend, ** And a6l, at home, the free impartial friend ! " None fee their own, but all with ready eye " The pendent wallet on a neighbour fpy ; " And like a Baviad will recount his fliame, " Tacking his very errors to bis name.**

Oracle, lath Jan.

C 59 3 Wile the dull noon away in Christie's fane, 355 And fnore the evening out at Drury lane ; Lull'd by the twang of Benfley's nafal note. And the hoarfe croak of Kemble's foggy throat.

NOTES;

And, to luhofe name fliould they be tacked, but the author's ? Let not the reader, however, imagine the abfurdity to proceed from Perfius, or his ingenious tranflator. " The truth and the fa£l is," that our learned brother, having a fmall change to make in the two laft lines, blundered them with his ufual acutenefs into nonfenfe. He is not much more happy when he calls Weston ** the Nightman of Litera- ture." But when a gentleman does not know what he writes, it is a little hard upon him to expefl he {hould know what he reads. — After all Edwin or not, our egregious friend is ftill the profound Mr. T. Vaughan.

THE

MiEVIAD.

Qui B AVIUM non odit, amet tua carmina M^vi.

C 63 3

I

N the Introduction to the preceding pages, I have given a brief account of the rife and progrefs of that fpurious fpecies of poetry, which lately infefted this metropolis, and gave occafion to the Baviad.

I was not ignorant of what I expofed myfelf to, by the publication of that work. If abufe could have afFedled me, I fhould not probably have made a fet of people my enemies, habi- tuated to ill language, and poflefled of fuch convenient vehicles* for its diffemination. But

• Moft of thefe fafliionable writers were connefted with the public prints. Delia Crufca was a worthy

C 64 3 I never regarded it from fuch hands ; and, indeed, deprecated nothing but their praife. I refpedt, in common with every man of fenfe, the cenfure of the wife and good : but the angry ebullitions of folly unmafked, and vanity mortified, pafs by me, " like the idle wind ;" or, if noticed, ferve merely to grace fome fuc- ceeding edition of the Baviad.

I confefs, however, that the work was received more favourably than I expefted. Bell, indeed, and a few others, whofe craft I had touched, vented their indignation in profe, and verfe : but, on the whole, the clamour againft me was not loud ; and was loft by infenfible degrees in the applaufes of fuch as I was truly ambitious to pleafc.

coadjutor of the mad and malignant idiot who con- duced the World. Arno, and Lorenzo, were either proprietors or editors of another paper. Edwin and Anna Matilda, were favoured contributors to feveral, and Laura Maria from the fums fhe fquandered on puff's, could command a corner in all.

C «5 ]

Thus fupported, the good efFe^ls of the fatire (gloriose loquor) were not long in manifefting themfelves. Delia Crufca appeared no more irt the Oracle, and, if any of his followers ventured to treat the town with a foft fonnet, it was not, as before, introduced by a pompous preface. Pope and Milton refumed their fuperiority ; and EAeand his coadjutors, lilently acquiefced in the growing opinion of their incompetency, and (hewed fome fenfe of (hame.

With this I was fatisfied, I had taken up my pen for no other end : and was quietly retiring, with the idea that I had ** done the ftate fome fervice ;'* and purpofing to abandon for ever the caeftus, which a refpedtable critic fancies I wielded " with too much feverity" ; when I was once more called into the lifts*, by the re-appearance of fome of the fcattered enemy.

NOTES.

• I hope no one will do me the injuftlce to fuppofe that I imagine myfelf another Hercules, contend* ing with Hydras, &c. Far from it. My enemies F

r 66 ]

It was not enough that the ftream of folly flowed more fparingly in the Oracle than before ; I was determined

To have the current in that place damm'd up ;

And accordingly began the prefent poem — ^for which, indeed, I had by this time other reafons. I had been told that there were ftill a few admi- rers of the Crufcan fchool, who thought the con- tempt I {hewed for it not fufEciently juftified by the few paflages I had produced. To filence thefe

NOTES.

cannot well have an humbler opinion of me, than I have of myfelf j and yet •* if I am not aftiamed of them, I am a foufed gurnet." Mere pecora inertia ! The conteft is without danger, and the vidory without glory. At the fame time I declare againft any undue advantage being taken of thefe conceflions. Though I knew the impotence of thefe literary Alkaparts, the town did not : and many a man, who now afFefts to pity me for wafting my ftrength upon unrefifting imbecility, would, not long fmce, have heard their poems with applaufe, and their praifes with delight.

C 67 3 objedlions therefore, I thought it beft to exhibit the tribe of Bell once more ; and, as they pafled in review before me, to make fuch additional extra(Sts* from their works, as fliould put their de- merits beyond the power of future queftion.

I remembered that this gentleman in his ex- cellent remarks on the Baviad, had charged the au- thor with "befpattering nearly all the poetical emi- nence of the day." Anxious, therefore, to do impartial justice, I ran for the Album, to dif- cover whom I had fpared. Here I read, " In this colledtion are names whom Genius will ever

look upon as its bejl fupporters ! Sheridan"

what is " Saul alfo among the Prophets ! — Sheridan, Merry, Parfons, Cowley, Andrews, Jerningham, Colman, Topham, Robinfon, &c."

NOTES.

* I know it will faid that I have done it, ufque ad naufeam. I confefs it j and for the reafon given above. And yet I can honeftly affiire the reader, that moft, if not all, of the trafli I have quoted, pafTed with the authors for fuperlative beauties ; every fe- condword being printed either in italics, or capitals. F2

C 68 3

Thus furnifhed with ** all" the poetical emi- nence of the day, I proceeded, as Mr. Bell fays, to befpatter it; taking for the vehicle of my defign, a Satire of Horace — to which I was led by its fupplying me (amidft many happy allu- lions) with an opportunity, I was not unwilling to feize, of briefly noticing the prefent wretched ftate of dramatic poetry*.

NOTES.

* I know not if the ftage has been fo low, fince the days of Gammar Gurton, as at this hour. It feems as if all the blockheads iu the kingdom had ftarted up, and exclaimed, una <voce. Come ! let us write for the theatres. In this there is nothing, perhaps al- together new ; the ftriking and peculiar novelty of the times feems to be, that all * they write is re- ceived. Of the three parties concerned in this bufi- nefs, the writers and the managers feem the leaft cul-

* I recoiled but two exceptions. Merry's idiotical Opera, and Mrs. Robinfon's mor* idiotical Farce. To have failed where O'Keefe fucceeded, argues a degree of fiupidity fcarcely credible. Surely " ignorance itfclf is a pUaet" over the heroes and heroines of ihe Baviad 1

C 69 ] When the M^viad (fo I call the prefent poem) was nearly brought to a conclufion, I laid it afide. The times feemed unfavourable to fuch produftions. Events of real importance were momentarily claiming the attention of the public ; and the ftill voice of the mufes was not likely to be liftened to amidft the din of arms. After an

NOTES.

pable. If the town will have hufks, extraordinary pains need not be taken to find them any thing more palatable. But what fhall we fay of the town itfelf! The lower orders of the people are fo brutified by the lamentable follies of O'Keefe, and Cobbe, and Pillon, and I know not who — Sardi venales, each worfe than the other — that they have lofl all relifh for fimplicity and genuine humour : nay, ignorance itfelf, unlefs it be grofs and glaring, cannot hope for " their moft fweet voices." And the higher ranks are fo mawkiflily mild, that they take with a placid fimper whatever comes before them : or, if they now and then experience a flight fit of difguft, have not refolution enough to exprefs it, but fit yawning and gaping in each others faces for a little encouragement in their pitiful for- bearance,

F3

C 70 3 interval of two years, however, circumftanccs, which it is not material to mention, have induced me to finifh, and truft it, without more preface, to the candour to which I am already fo highly indebted for the warm reception of the Baviad.

I (hould here conclude this introduftion, al- ready too long ; were it not for the fake of notic- ing the ftrange inconfiftency of the town. I hear that I am now breaking butterflies upon wheels ! There was a time (it was when the Baviad firft appeared) that thefe butterflies were Eagles, and their obfcurfi and defultory flights, the obje<ft of univerfal envy and admiration. They are yet fo with too many : and furely no one can wifli an- other to continue under the infatuation from which himfelf is happily free, for want of a little additional exertion !

C 71 ]

THE

MJEVIAD.

YES, I DID fay that Crufca's * " true fublime" Lacked tafte, and fenfe, and every thing but rhyme ;

IMITATIONS.

Horace, Sat. 10. Lib. i.

V. I. Nempe incompofito dixi pede currere verfas

NOTES.

• Crufca's " true fublime. " The words between inverted commas in this, and the following verfes,

F4

C 1* 3

That Arno's " cafy ftrains" were coarfe and

rough. And Edwin's " matchlefs numbers" woeful fluff.

IMITATIONS.

Lucili. Quis tarn Lucili fautor inepte eft, Ut non hoc fateatur ?

NOTES.

are Mr. Bell's. They contain, as the reader fees, a fliort character of the works to which they are refpeftively affixed. Though I have the misfortune to differ from this gentleman in the prefent inflances, yet I obferve fuch acutenefs of perception in his ge- neral criticifm, that I fhould have ftiled him the «< profound" inftead of the «* gentle " Bell ; if I had not previoufly applied the epithet to a ftill greater man, (abfit invidia di£lo) to — Mr. T. Vaughan.

I truft this incidental preference will create no jea- loufy — for though, as Virgil properly remarks, ** An oaken ftafF each merits;" yet I need not inform a gentleman, who, like Mr. Bell, reads Shakefpeare every day after dinner, that ** if two men ride upon a horfe, one of them muft ride behind."

C 73 3

And who — forgive, O gentle Bell ! the word, 5 For it muft out — ^who, prithee, fo abfurd. So mulifhly abfurd, as not to join In this with me; fave always thee, and THINE !

Yet (till, the soul of candour! I allow'd Their jingling elegies amufed the croud ; 10

That lords and dukes hung blubbering o'er each

line. That lady- critics wept, and cried ** divine !'* That love-lorn priefts reclined the penfive head. And fentimental enfigns, as they read. Wiped the fad drops of pity from their eye, 15 And burft between a hiccup and a figh.

IMITATIONS.

V. 10, &c. At idem quod fale multo

Urbem defricuit, charta laudatur eadem.

Nee tamen hoc tribuens dederim quoque caetera :

nam fie Et Laberi minos, ut pulchra poemata mirer.

C 74 3 Yet, not content, like horfe-leeches they come. And fplit my head with one eternal hum For ** more! more! more!" Away! For

fliould I grant The full, the unreferved applaufe, ye want, 20 St. John * might then my partial voice accufe. And claim my fuffrage for his tragic mufe ;

IMITATIONS.

V. 17. The horfe-leech has two daughters, crying, " Give ! give !"

Proverbs.

NOTES.

* St. John, &c. Having already obferved in the lutroduftion that the Maeviad was nearly finiflied two years fince, and confequently before the death of this gentleman ; I have only to add here, that though I fhould not have introduced into it any of the heroes of the Baviad, quorum Flaminia tegitur cinis, atque Latina, yet I fcarce think it neceflary to make any changes for the fake of omitting fuch as have pafled ad plures, in the interval between writing and pub- lifhing.

C 75 ] And Greathead *, rifmg from his fliort difgrace. Fling the forgotten " Regent" in my face ; Bid me my cenfure, as I may, deplore. And like my brother critics cry " Encore !"

NOTES.

The reader will find (v. 235) another inftance of my fmall pretenfions to prophecy ; and probably regret it more than the prefent.

* Greathead's Regent. Of this tragedy, which was recommended to the world in more than one refpeflable publication, as "the work of a scholar," I want words to exprefs my opinion. The plot of it was childifh, the conduft abfurd, the language unintelligible, the thoughts falfe and confufed, the metaphors incongruous, the general flyle groveling and bafe, and, to fum up all in a word, the whole piece the moft execrable abortion of ftupidity that ever difgraced the ftage.

It is to be wifhed that Reviewers, fenfible of the influence their opinions necefTarily have on the pub- lic tafte, could divert themfelves of their partialities, when they fit down to the execution of, what I hope they confider as, their folemn duty. We fliould not then find them, as in the inftance before us, re- commending a work to favour, deferving univerfal reprobation and contempt.

C 7« 3 Alas, my learned friends ! for learn 'd yc are,

IMITATIONS.

V. 27. Ergo non fatis eft rifu diducere ridlum Auditoris ; & eft quaedam tamen hie quoque virtus.

NOTES.

This is perhaps requiring too much ; as it fup- pofes them not poflefled of the feelings of other men. And yet — on confidering the importance of the office they have aflumed, and the good or evil they have the means of difpenfing— I have on more than one occafion lamented that they were

** No more but even mortals, and commanded By fuch poor paflions as the maid that milks. And does the meaneft chares."

It is but fair to obferve, however, that Mr. Par- fons has added his all-fufficient fuffrage to that of the Reviewers, in favour of Mr. Greathead's abilities.

** O bard ! to whom belongs Each pureft fount of poefy !

C 77 ] As Bell will fay, or, if ye afk it, fwear ;

NOTES.

Who old IlyfTus' hallowied dews In his OWN Avon dares infufe. O favoured clime ! O happy age ? That boafts to fave a finking ftage" A Greathead ! ! !

Gent. Mag.

When I read thefe, and other high founding praifes, fcattered over Reviews, Magazines, Newfpapers, and I know not what, without having feen any thing but the Regent ; I was naturally led to fufpe£l that Mr. G. had fucceeded better in his fmaller pieces, and thus juftified in fome degree the cry of his " learn> ing, &c." But no. All was a blank !

Here follow a few famples of the ** Ilyflean dews infufed by Mr. Greathead into his own Avon" — muddied, I fuppofe, and debafed by the home-bred flreamlets of one Shakefpeare.

** In fuller prefence we defcry Mid mountain rocks — a deity Than eye of man fliall e'er behold In living grace oi fculftur*d gold *

[ 78 3 *Tis not enough (though this be fomewhat too,

NOTES.

I would give fomething to know this " learned gentleman's" idea of fculpturing. In the Regent, he talks of a " Sculptor's kneading docile clay ! ! 1"

More matter for a May morning !

Ode on Apathy.

" Accurs'd be dull lethargic Apathy, Whether at eve {he liftlefs ride In fluggifh car by tortoife drawn— With mimic air of fenfelefs pride.

She feebly throws on all her withering fight. While too obfervant of her fway Unmark'd her droning fubjefts lie, Alike to her who murmur or obey.

I hope the reader underftands it.

• Mr. Parfons fays " thcfe lines arc not Greathead's." fiat they are publifhed with his name in the Album ; which cxclufive of their flupidity, is fufficient authority for me. If our doughty critic choofes to take them to himfclf, I can have no obje&ion ; for, after all, pugna eft de paupere regno!

C 79 3 And more perhaps* than Jerningham can do)

NOTES.

Ode to Duel.

** Never didft thou appear

While Tiber's fons gave law to all the world ;

Yet much they loved to defolate and flaughter,

Carthage attefl: my words

To glut their fanguinary rage,

Not citizens but gladiators fall.

Slavery and vaflalage,

And favage broils, 'twixt nobles are no more.

Vanifti thou likewife "

And thefe are Odes, good heavens! " After the manner of Pindar," I take for granted.

But enough of Mr. G. whom I hefitate not to pronounce, with all his " fcholarfhip," as ignorant a man as any in the three kingdoms. I have only to add, that I am aftuated by no perfonal diflike of Mr. G. ; for I can fay with the greateft truth (what indeed I can of all the heroes of the Mae- viad) that I have not the flighteft knowledge of him. But the daws have ftrutted too long : it is more than time to ftrip them of their adventitious plum- age ; and if, in doing it, I fhall pluck off any fea- thers which originally belonged to them, they have only to thank their own vanity, or the forward- nefs of their injudicious friends.

* And more perhaps than Jerningham can do.— No ; Mr, Jerningham has lately written a Tragedy

C 8o 3 Tis not enough to dole out Ahs ! and Ohs !

WOTES.

and a Farce ; both extremely well fpoken of by the Reviewers, and both gone to the ** paftry- cooks."

I thought I underftood fomething of faces ; but I muft read my Lavater over again I find. That a gentleman with the " phyfiognomie d'un mouton qui r€ve," fiiould fuddenly ftart forth a new Tyrtaeus, and pour a dreadful note thro* a cracked war- trump, amazes me — ^Well; Fronti nulla fides fhall henceforth be my motto !

In the pride of his heart Mr. J. has taken the inftrument from his mouth, and given me a fmart firoke on the head with it : this is fair,

Caedimus, inque vicem praebemus crura fagittis.

He has alfo levelled a deadly blow at a gentleman, who moft afluredly never dreamed of having our Drawcanfir for an antagonift : this, though not quite fo fair, is not altogther unprecedented ;

An eagle towering in his pride of place. Was by a moufing owl hawked at 1

There is a trait of fcholarlhip in Mr. Jerningham's laft poem, which fliould not be overlooked ; more

C 81 3 Through Kemble's thorax*, or through Benfley's nofe ;

NOTES.

efpecially as it is the only one. Having occaflon to mention ** Agave and her infant *," he fubjoins the following explanation : ** Alluding to Agave» who in a dilirium flew her child. See Ovid." No, I'll take Mr. Jerningham's word for it, though I had twenty Ovids before me.

* Kemble's thorax • • • hiatus valde deflendus • • * But why mention Mr. Benfley ? "Why not ? Is not Mr. Benfley a public man, and his fnuffling an objeflof public concern? But Mr. Benfley is a good man ; and perfeft in every duty of life. I am glad of it from my foul ; and, if I were on the topic of private virtues, would be the firft to praife him. But this is from the purpofe. While I only follow the fair ground of public criticifm, I know of no fliatute, political or moral, which forbids my faying to Mr. Benfley, or any other man whofe nofe I diflike,

Exi

Jam gravis es nobis, & faepe emungeris j Exi Ocyus & propera

* Sec his " Peace, Ignominy, and Deftruftion," Page 15,

C 8» 3

To fill our ftage with fcaffolds, or to fright Our wives with rapes, repeated thrice a night.

Judges ^Not fuch as felf-created, fit 35

On that TREMENDOUS BENCH* which fkirtsthe

pit, Where idle Thefpis nods, while Arnot dreams Of Nereids " purling in ambrofial ftreams ;" 40

NOTES.

* When this was written, (which was while the Opera Houfe was ufed for plays) the ** learned juf- ticers" here enumerated, together with others not yet taken, were accuftomed to flock nightly to this BENCH, from which the unlettered vulgar were al- ways fcornfully repelled with an OYAE12, AM0Y20S.

I have not heard whether the New Theatre be pofleffed of fuch a one : I think not ; for critics are no more gregarious than fpiders. Like them, they might do great things in concert, but, like them too, they ufually end with devouring one another.

f Arno. The dreams of this gentleman, which continue to make their appearance in the Oracle, un-

r 83 3

Where Efte in rapture cons fantaftic airs, " Old Piftol new-revived" in Topham flares, And Bofwell, aping with prepofterous pride Johnfon's worft frailties, rolls from fide to fide, His heavy head from hour to hour ereds, 45

AfFeds the fool, and is what he afFefts *

Judges of truth and fenfe, yet more demand : That art to nature lend a helping hand !

kotes.

der the name of Thefpis, are not always of Nereids. He dreamed one night that Mr. Pope played Pofthu- mus with lefs fpirit than ufual ; and it was Mr. John- fon finging Grammachre ! Another night, that the Mourning Bride might have been better caft, and lo ! it was the Comedy of Errors that was played ! ! I

This was rather unfortunate : but the reader muft have already obferved, from the ftrange occupations of thefe ** felf-created judges" (which I have faith- fully defcribed) that, fleeping or waking, they were attentive to every thing but what paflTed before their eyes.

• Pauper videri Cotta vult, et eft pauper !

G 2

C 84 3 That fables well devifed, be fimply told, Corred if new, and probable if old.

When Mafon leads Elfrida forth to view, Adorn 'd with virtues which flie never knew, I feel for every tear ; while born along By the full tide of unrefifted fong, I flop not to enquire if all be juft, But take her goodnefs, as her grief, on trust ; 'Till calm refledion checks me, and I fee The heroine as (he was, and ought to be, A bold, bad woman, wading to the throne Thro' feas of blood, and crimes till then un- known : 60 Then, then I hate the magic that deceived. And blufti to think how fondly I believed *.

♦ Mr. Parfons' note on this paflage is — " Did you BELIEVE I Could you pofTibly be fo ignorant ?"— Even fo. But I humbly conceive Mr. Mafon, who feduced my unfufpefling youth, is equally culpa- ble with myfelf. There is alfo one William Shakef-

C 85 3

Not fo, when Atheling*, made in fome strange

plot The hero of a day that knew him not,

NOTES.

peare, who, I am ready to take my ^oath, is a no- torious offender in this way ; having led not only me, but divers others, into the moft grofs and ridi- culous errors ; making us laugh, cry, and I know not what, for perfons whom we ought to have known to be mere non-entities.

But Mr. Parsons has happily obtained an obdu- rate and impaffible head : let him, therefore, " give God thanks, and make no boaft of it." He is a wife and a wary reader, and follows the moft judicious Bol- tom, who, having like himfelf, too much fagacity to be impofed upon by a feigned charafter, was laudably anxious to undeceive the world. " No," quoth he, *• let him thruft his face through the lion's neck, and fay. If you think I come hither as a lion, it were

pity of my life no, I am no fuch thing : I am a

man, as other men are ; — and then, indeed, let him name his name, and tell them plainly that he is Snug the joiner."

• Atheling. See the Battle of Haftings. A tra- gedy in which Mr. Cumberland has contrived with

G3

C 8« 3 Struts from the field his enemy had won, 65

On stately stilts, exulting and undone ! Here I can only pity, only fmile ; Where not one grace, one elegance of style, Redeems the audacious folly of the rest. Truth facrificed, and history made a jest. 70

Let this. Ye Crufcans*, if your heads be made ** Of penetrable stuff,** let this perfuade Your hufky tribes their wanderings to restrain. Nor hope what taste and Mafon failed to gain;

matchlefs dexterity, to introduce every abfurdity of every kind.

• Ye Crufcans !

O voi, che della Crusca vi chiamate

Come quei che farina non avendo

Di QjJELLA a tutto pafto vi faziate I —

C 87 3

Then let your style be brief, your meaning clear, 75

Nor, like Lorenxo*, tire the labouring ear With a wild waste of words ; found without

fenfe. And all the florid glare of impotence.

IMITATIONS.

V. 75. Eft brevitate opus, ut currat fententia, neufe Impediat verbis laflas onerantibus aures ; Et fermone opus eft modo trifti faepe jocofo.

NOTES.

* Lorenzo. " A lamentable tragedy by Delia Crufca, mixed full of pleafant mirth." The houfe laughed a-good at it; but Mr. Harris cried fadly. Here is another inftance, if it were wanted, of the bad efFedls of proititute applaufe. Could this gentleman, if his mind had not been pre- vioufly warped by the eternal puffs of Bell and his followers, have fuppofed, for a moment, that a knack of ftringing together " hoar hills'* and <* ripling rills," and " red Ikies glare" and •* thin, thin air," qualified a man for writing tragedy !

G4

C 88 3

Still with your charaders your language changc,8o From grave to gay, as nature didates range ; Now droop in all the plaintivenefs of woe. Now in glad numbers light and airy flow, Now fliake the stage with guilt's alarming tone. And make the aching bofom all your own ;

Now But I fing in vain ; from firft to laft, 85

Your joy is fustian, and your grief bombast ; Rhetoric has banifhed reafon ; kings and queens Vent in hyperboles their royal fpleens ; Guardfmen in metaphors exprefs their hopes, And maidens in white linen howl in tropes. 90

Reverent I greet the bards of other days. ' Blest be your names ! and lasting be your praife ! From nature's varied face ye wifely drew. And following ages owned the copies true.

IMITATIONS.

V, 91. Illi fcripta quibus comoedia prifca viris eft Hoc ftabant> hoc funt imitandi

C 89 ] O ! had our fots, who rhyme with headlong

haste, gr

And think refledion still a foe to taste, But brains your pregnant fcenes to understand. And give us truth, tho' but at fecond hand, 'Twere fomething yet! But no; they never

look

Shall fouls of fire, they cry, a tutor brook ? 100 Forbid it infpiration ! Thus your pain Is void, and ye have lived for them in vain ; In vain for Crufca, and his Ikipping fchool, Cobbe, Reynolds, Andrews, and that Nobler

Fool ;

IMITATIONS.

V. 103. quos neque pulcher

Hermogenes unquam legit, nee fimius ifte. Nil praeter Calvum dodus cantare Catullum.

C 90 ] Who nought but Laura's* tinkling trafti ad- mire, 105 And the mad jangle of Matilda's* lyre.

NOTES.

* Laura's tinkling trafti, &c. I had amafTed a world of this ** tinkling trafti" for the behoof of the reader ; but having fortunately for him, miftaid it, and not being difpofed to undertake again the drud- gery of wading through Mr. Bell's coUedlions, I can only offer him the little that occurs to my memory. Of this little, the merits mufl: be ftiared among Mrs. Robinfon, Mrs. Cowley, and Mr. Merry.

Et vos, O Lauri, carpam, & teproxima, Myrte, Sic poHtae quoniam fuaves mifcetis odores.

O let me fly

Where greenland darknefs drinks the beamy flcy !

But oh ! beware how thou doft fling Thy hot pulfe o'er the quivering ftring ! I I

Pluck from their dark and rocky bed The yelling demons of the deep.

Who foaring o'er the comet's head. The bofom of the welkin fweep.

C 91 3 But Crufca ftill has merit, and may claim No humble ftation in the ranks of fame ;

IMITATIONS.

V. 107. At magnum fecit, quod verbis Graeca Latinis Mifcuit.

NOTES.

And when the jolly full moon laugha,

In her clear zenith to behold

The envious ftars withdraw their gleams of

gold, *Tis to thy health flie ftooping quaffs The fapphire cup that fairy zephyrs bring ! ! 1

On confidering thefe and the preceding lines, I was tempted to indulge a wifti that the blue-ftocking club would iflue an immediate order to Mr. Bell, to ex- amine the cells of Bedlam. Certainly, if an accu- rate tranfcript were made from the " darken'd walls" once or twice a quarter, an Album might be prefent- ed to the falhionable world, more poetical, and far more rational, than any they have lately honoured with their applaufe.

t 9» 2 He taught us first the language to refine, To croud with beauties every fparkling line ; no

NOTES.

Why does thy ftream oi fweetejl fong Foam -on the mountain's murmuring fi(Je, Or through the vocal covert glide !

I heard a tuneful phantom in the wind,

I faw it watch the rifing moon afar

Wet with the weeping of the twilight ftar.— —

The pilgrim who with tearful eye fhall view The moon's wan luftre in the midnight dew, Sooth'd by her light.

This is an admirable reafon for his crying : — ^but what ! Un fot trouve toujours un plus fot qui I'admirc. Mr. Bell is in raptures with it, and very properly recommends it to the admiration of Merry, as being the produftion of ** a congenial foul." There is alfo another judicious critic, one Dr. Talker (fhould it not be Dr. Trufler?) who has given a decided opinion, it feems, in favour of this lady's abilities ; which may confole her for the fneers of fifty fuch envious fcribblers as the author of the Baviad.

And firft you fhall hear what Mrs. Robinfon fays of Dr. Talker.——*" The learned and ingenious Dr.

C 93 ] Old phrafes \dth new meanings to difpenfe, Amufe the fancy, and Confound the fenfe :

NOTES.

Taflcer, in the third volume of his elegant and crl^ tical woriis, has pronounced fomeof Mrs. Robin- fon's poems fuperior to thofe of Milton on the fame fubjeft, particularly her addrefs to the nightingale ! The praifes of fo competent and dijtnterejled a judge STAMPS celebrity that neither time nor envy can obliterate I ! 1

Oracle, Dec; lo.

Next you fliall hear what Dr. Talker fays of Mrs. Robinfon.

" In antient Greece by two fair forms were feen

Wildom's ftern goddefs, and Love's fmiling queen,

Pallas prefided over arms and arts,

And Venus over gentle virgins' hearts.

But now both powers in one fair form combine,

And in famed Robinfon united fhine.

This lady, equally celebrated in the polite and literary circles, has honoured Mr. — Lo ! the Dr. is dwindled into plain Mr. — has honoured Mr. Taflcer's poetical and other produ<5lions with high and diftin- guilhed marks of her approbation !"

Exeter Paper, Jan. i6.

C 94 3

O, void of rcafon ! Is it thus you praife A linfey-woolfey fong, framed with fuch cafe.

IMITATIONS.

V. 1 13 — 116. O fcri ftudiorum ! quine

putetis Difficileet miruni,RHODio quod Pitholeonti Contigit.

NOTES.

Why this is the very fong of Prodicus n ^ei^ rn*

yjneot xH^" fo"^ the reft, I truft my readers will

readily fubfcribe to the praifes thefe moft ** compe- tent and difinterefted judges" have reciprocally la- viflied on each other.

But allons,

My hand at night's fell noon

Plucks from the trefles of the moon A fparkling crown of filv'ry hue, Befprent with ftuds of frozen dew !

On the dizzy height inclined

I iijlen to the paffing laind

That loves my mournful Jong to feize.

And bears it to the mountain breeze.

C 95 3 Such vacancy of thought, that every line 115 Might tempt e'en Vaug HAN towhifper, " this is mine !

NOTES.

Here we find that liftening to the wind, and finging to it are one and the fame thing ; and that — but I can make nothing of the reft.

When in black obtrufive clouds

The chilly moon her pale cheek ftirouds,

I mark the twinkly ftarring train

Exulting glitter in her wane.

And proudly gleam their borrowed light

To gem the fombre dome of night.

What an admirable obferver of nature is this great poetefs ! The ftar twinkling in a cloudy night, and gleaming its borrowed luflre is fuperlative. I had almofl forgot to obferve that thefe, and the preceding lines, are taken from the Ode to the Nightingale ; fo fuperior, in the reverend judgment of Dr. Talker, to one of a Mr. John Milton on the fame fubjeft.

■ the lightning's rays

Leap through the night's fcarce pervious gloom, Attrafted by— —(what, for a ducat ?) Attraded by the rofes bloom ! ! !

C 9<5 ] Vaughan! well remembered. He good man complains That I affixed his name to Edwin's* ilrains :

NOTES.

Let but thy lyre impatient feize Departing twilight's filmy breeze. That winds the inchanting chords among In lingering labyrinths of fong.

See in the clouds its maft the proud bark laves. Scorning the aid of ocean's humble waves ! From this it appears that Mrs. Cowley fancies proud barks float on their marts. It is proper to mention that the vcflel takes fuch extraordinary ftate on her- felf, becaufe fhe carries Delia Crufca !

from a young grove's fhade

Whofe infant boughs but mock the expecting

glade ! ! ! Sweet founds dole forth, upborn upon the gale, Prefs'd thro' the air, and broke upon the vale ;

Then filent walked the breezes of the plain. Or foared aloft, and feiz'd the hovering flrain.

Delia Crufca.

The force of folly can no farther go f

C 97 1 *Tis juft — for what three kindred fouls have

done, Is most unfairly charged, I ween, on one. 120 Pardon, my learned friend ! With wat'ry eyes Thy growing fame to truth 1 facrifice ;

NOTES.

* Edwin's llrains. If the reader will turn to the conclufion of the Baviad, he will find a delicious 'Emr»fio¥ on a tame moufe, by this learned gentle- man. As it feemed to give univerfal fatisfa6tion, I embrace with pleafure the opportunity of laying before him another effufion of the fame exquifite pen.

It will be found, I flatter myfelf, not lefs beau- tiful than the former, and will ferve admirably to prove that the author, though oftenfibly devoted to Elegy, can, on a proper occafion, aflume an air of gaiety, and be " profound" with eafe, and in- ftruftive with elegance.

*' On the circumftance of a maftiff' s running fu- rioufly fad dog ! towards two young ladies, and upon coming up to them, becoming inftantly gentle good dog ! and tradlable."

H

C 9« 3 To many a fonnet call thy claims in doubt,

And " at one entrance fhut thy glory out." Vet MEWL thou still. Shall my lord's dor- moufe die, 125

And low in dust without a requiem lie ! No, MEWL thou still : and while thy d — 's join, Their melancholy fymphonies to thine.

NOTES.

Tantum ad narrandum argumentum eft benignitas.

" When Orpheus took his lyre to hell

To fetch his rib away. On that fame thing he pleas'd fo well.

That devils learn'd to play.

Befides in books it may be read.

That whilft he fwept the lute Grim Cerb'rus hung his favage head.

And lay aftoundly mute.

But here we can with juftice fay That nature rivals art.

t 99 3 My righteous verfe (hall labour to restore The well-earned fame it robbed them of be- fore. 130 Edwin, whatever elegies of woe Drop from the gentle mouths of Vaughan and

Co.

To this or that, henceforth no more confined^ Shall, like a fumame, take in all the kind.

Right! cry the brethren. When the heaven- born mufe 135 Shames her defcent, and for low earthly views, Hums o'er a beetle's bier the doleful stave. Or fits chief mourner at a May-bug's grave, Satire fhould fcourge her from the vile employ. And bring her back to friendfliip, love, and joy. 140

NOTES.

He fang a maftifF's rage away, You look'd one thro' the heart.'*

Fecit Edwik.

H 2

C ioo 3 But fparc Cefario*, Carlos , Adelaide',

NOTES.

* Cefario. In the Baviad (p. 48) there are a few ftanzas of a moft delegable ode to an owl. They were afcribed to Arno : nor was I confcious of any miftake, 'till I received a polite note from that gentle- man, afluring me that he was not only not the author of them ; but (horefco referens) that he thought them " execrable." Mr. Bell, on the othtr hand, affirms them to be " admirable."

Who fliall decide when doflors difagree ?

Be this as it may, I am happy to fay that I have dif- covered the true author. They were written by Ce- fario; and as I rather incline to Mr. Bell, pace Arnd dixerim, I fliall make no fcruple of laying the re- mainder of this " mellifluous piece" before my reader.

** Slighted love the/oul fubduing.

Silent forrow chills the hearty Treacherous fancy dill pur/uing.

Still repels the poifoned dart.

Soothing thofe fond dreams of pleafure

Pi^ur'd in the gloiving breaft, Lanjtjb of her fweeteft treafure

Anxious/<r«r is charm' d to reft,—.

The truest poetefs ! the truest maid f

NOTES.

Fearlefs o'er the whiten'd bilioivs.

Proudly rife, fweet bird of night, Safely through the bending iviHo'Vjf

Gently wing thy aery flight,

Cesario.

Though I flatter myfelf I have good fenfe and tafte enough to fee, and admire the peculiar beauties of this ode, yet a regard for truth obliges me to declare they are not original. They are taken (with improve- ments, I confefs) from a moft beautiful " fong by a perfon of quality," in Pope's Mifcellanies. This, though it detracts a little from Cefario's inventive powers, ftill leaves him the praife (no mean one] of having gone beyond that great poet, in what he pro- bably confideredas the ne plus ultra of ingenuity.

Venimus ad fummum fortunae ! Mr, Greathead equals Shakefpeare, Mrs. Robinfon furpafles Mil- ton, and Cefario outdoes Pope in that very perfor- mance, which he vainly imagined fo complete as to take away all defire of imitating, all poflibility of ext celling it 1

O favoured clime ! O happy age !

H 3

Lorenzo'', Rueben ', fpare : far be the thought

NOTES.

2 Carlos. I have nothing of this gentleman (a nioft pertinacious fcribbler in the Oracle) but the following " fonnet :" luckily, however, it is fo in- effably ftupid, that it will more than fatisfy any reader but Mr. Bell's.

OK A lady's PORTRAlt.

Oft hath the poet hailed the breath of morn,

That wakens nature with the voice of fpring. And oft, when purple fummer feeds the lawn.

Hath fancy touched him with her procreant wing. Full frequent has he blefs'd the golden beam

Which yellow autumn glowing fpreads around. And tho' pale winter prefl'd a paly gleam,

Frelh in his breaft was young defcription found

I can copy no more — Job himfelf would lofe all pati- ence here. Inflead, therefore, of the remainder of this incomprehenfible trafh, I will give the reader a firing of judicious obfervalions by Mr. T. Vaughan. " Bruyere fays, he will allow that good writers are fcarce enough, but adds, and juflly, that good critics are equally fo : which reminds our correfpondent alfo of what the Abbe Trublet ivrites, /peaking of profeffed critics.

C 103 ]

Of intereft, far from them. Unbribed, unbouglit,

where \vtfays, if they were obliged to examine au- thors impartially there would be fewer writers in

this ijoay. Was this to be the liberal pradlice adopted by our modern critics, we ftiould not fee a Baviad — (Oons! who is this Baviad !) — falling upon men and things, that are much above his capacity, and feemingly for no other reafon than becaufe they are fo."

A Daniel come to judgment, yea, a Daniel ! This is in truth the reafon ; and when Mr.Vaughan and his coadjutors will condefcend to humble themfelves to my underftanding, I will endeavour to profit by their eloquent ilriftures.

3 Adelaide. And who is Adelaide ? O feri fludio- rum ! " Not to know her argues yourfelves un- known." Hear Mr. Bell, the Longinus of Newf- paper writers.

ADELAIDE.

•' He who is here addrefled by the firft lyric writer in the kingdom, muft himfelf endeavour to repay a debt fo highly honourable, if it can be done by verfe ! This Lady fhall have the praife, which ought to be

H4

C 104 ] They pour * from their big breast's prolific zone,

NOTES.

given by the country ! ! ! that of firft difcovering, and drawing out the fine poivers of Arno and Dellj^ Crufca l"

*' O thou whom late I watch'd while o'er thee hung The orb, whofe glories I fo oft have fung. Beheld thee while dijlonuer of beam Made night a lovelier morning feem," &c.

We might here difmifs this " firft lyric writer of the age," who, from her flippant nonfenfe, appears to be Mrs. Piozzi ; were it not for the fake of remark- ing, that whatever be the merit of " drawing out the fine powers of Arno" (which, it feems this ungrateful country has not yet rewarded with a ftatue) (he muft be content to fhare it with Julia. Hear her Invoca- tion— but firft hear Mr. Bell. *' A moft elegant com- pliment, which for generous efteem has been feldom equalled, any more than the mufe which infpired it."

JULIA TO ARNO.

Arxio ! where Iteals thy dulcet lay Soft as the evening's minftrel note,

Say, does it deck the rifing day. Or on the noon-tide breezes float III

U 105 3 A proud, poetic fervour, only known

NOTES.

Mrs. Robinfon (for we may as well drop the name of Julia) has been guilty of a trifling larceny here ; haying taken from the Baviad without any ac- knowledgment, a delicious couplet which I flat- tered myfelf would never have been feen out of that poem but fo it is, that, like Pope,

write whate'er I will.

Some rifing genius sins up to it ftill.

This has nettled me a little, and pofllbly injured the great poetefs in my opinion ; for I have been robbed fo often of late, that I begin to think with the old cEconomift,

Ot^T®' acoi^iiv ^ft;^®' oj s| (jjisv ourtron sJe*.

For the reft, this <' Invocation" called forth a fpecimen of Arno's fine powers in the following dulcet lays.

ARNO TO JULIA.

Sure fome dire ilar inimical to man Guides to his heart the defolating fire,

Fills with contention only his brief fpan, And rouzes him to murderous defire.

C 106 ] To fouls like theirs' ; as Anna's youth infpires,

NOTES.

There are who fagely fcan the tortured worid.

And tell us war is but neceflity, That millions, by the great difpenfer hurl'd,

Muft fuflFer by this fcourgc, and ceafe to be.

Euge Poeta ! ^ Lorenzo. Kat ttwj lyu H^nihi ^nyoift.' otv frifAX ti

Says a hungry wight in an old comedy. But I know of no feafoning, whatever, capable of making the infipid garbage of this modern Sthenelus palatable, even to the voracious appetite of the blue-ftocking club : I fball therefore fpare myfelf the difguft of producing it.

* Reuben, whom I take to be Mr. Greathead in difguife, (it being this gentleman's fate, like Hercules of old, to affiime the merit of all unappropriated prodigies) Reuben introduced himfelf to the World by the following " Addrefs to Anna Matilda."

C 107 3 . As Laura's graces kindle fierce defires,

NOTES.

To thee a ftranger dares addrefs his theme,

To thee, proud miftrefs of Apollo's lyre, One ray emitted from thy golden gleam.

Prompted by love would fet the world on fire I Adorn then love in fancy-tinftured veft,

Camelion like, anon of various hue. By Penferofo, and Allegro dreft.

Such genius claim'd when flie Idalia drew.. .

Anna Matilda, what could flie lefs ! found

this refufcitating praife

Breathe life upon her dying lays,

Like *' the daify which fpreads her bloom to the moift evening " ! ! ! and accordingly produced a matchlefs '< adornment of love," to the great con- tentment of the gentle Reuben.

But bard polite, quoth fhe, how hard the tafk "Which \\\thfuch elegance you afk 1

Who could have thought thefe lines, the fimple tribute of gratitude to genius, would have nearly occafioned " a perdition of fouls!" Yet fo it was. They unfortunately rouzed the jealoufy of Delia

As Henriett For heaven's fake ! not fo faft.

I too, my maftersi ere my teeth were caft, 150

Crufca *< on the fportive banks of the Rhone.'* — One lucklefs evening

" When twilight on the weftern edge

Had twined his hoary hair with fabling fedge,"

as he was " weeping" (for, like Mafter Stephen, thefe good creatures think it neceffary to be always melan- choly) at the tomb of Laura, he ftarted, as well he might, at the accurfed name of Reuben.

Hark ! quoth he, What cruel founds are thefe Which float upon the languid breeze. Which fill my foul with jealous fear ! Hah! Reuben is the name I hear. For him my faithlefs Anna, &c.

It is with no fmall regret I add, that the cold- blooded Bell has deftroyed this beautiful fancy-fcene with one ftroke of his clownifh pen. In a note on the above lines (Album, p. 134) he officioufly informs us that Delia Crufca knew " nothing of his rival, till he read" deteftedword! ♦* his fonnet in the Ora- cle." O Bell ! Bell ! Is it thus thou humbleft the ftrains of the fublime ! Surely we may fay of thee what was not ill faid of one ^of thy fillers,

Had learned, by rote, to rave of Delia's charms, To die of tranfports found in Chloe's arms, Coy Daphne with obstreperous plaints to woo, And curfe the cruelty of God knows who.

IMITATIONS.

V. 150. Atqui Ego cum graecos facerem, na- tus mare citra, Verficulos, vetuit tali me voce Quirinus Poft mediam vifus no6tem, cum fomnia vera.

NOTES.

Sed tu infulfa male et molefta vives. Per quam non licet efle negligentem.

• They pour, &c.

-I love fo well

Thy foul's deep tone, thy thought's high fwill, Thy proud poetic fervour known, But in thy breaft's prolific zone.

Dell. Cruf.

C "o 3 When Phoebus, (not the Power that bade thee write, 155

For he, dear Dapper ! was a lying fprite)

One morn, when dreams are true, approached my

fide, And, frowning on my tuneful lumber, cried,

** Lo ! every corner with foft fonnets crammed.

And high-born odes, " works damned, or to be damned :" 160

And is THY adive folly adding more

To this most worthlefs, moft fuperfluous ftore ?

O impotence of toil ! thou mighteft as well

Give fenfe to Efte, or modefty to Bell.

Forbear, forbear: what tho' thou canft not claim 165

The facred honours of a POET's name.

Due to the few alone, whom I infpire

With lofty rapture, with etherial fire !

Yet mayft thou arrogate the humble praifc

Of reafon's bard, if, in thy future lays, 1 70

t "I 3 Plain fenfe, and truth, (and fureljr thefc arc

thine) Corred thy wanderings, and thy flights confine."

Here ceafed the God, and vaniflied. Forth I

fprang While in my ear the voice divine yet rang ;

Seized every rag and fcrap, approached the fire, 175

And faw whole Albums in the blaze expire.

Then fliame enfued, and vain regret, to have fpent So many hours (hours which I yet lament,)

In thriftlefs induftry ; and year on year

Inglorious rolled, while diffidence, and fear, 180

Repreft my voice unheard till Anna came.

What ! throbb'st thou YET, my bofom, at the

name ?

And chafed the oppreffive doubts that round me clung.

And fired my breast, and loofened all my tongue*

[ I" 3 E'en then (admire, John Bell! my fimplc

ways) 185

No heaven, and hell, d^iced madly thro' my

lays, No oaths, no execrations ; all was plain : Yet, truft me, while thy " ever jingling train" Chime their fonorous woes with frigid art, And (hock the reafon and Revolt the heart ; 190 My hopes, and fears, in nature's language drest. Awakened love in many a gentle breast.

How oft, O Dart ! what time the faithful

pair Walked forth, the fragrant hour of eve to ihare. On thy romantic banks, have my wild ftrains*, 195 (Not yet forgot amidst my native plains)

IMITATIONS. V. 195. In fylvam non ligna feras infaniusy

ac n

Magnas Graecorum malis implere catervas——

• Mr. Parfons is extremely angry at my " often- tatious intrufion" of the " Otium Divos" into the

T.SledumlliA.^,l. ,/.A>.«!'j«-»J..

Men'/'a/i. line 22'.

/•uiUt/ud ./«/»- >s '797. tyJ.H^nffkt. /'iartdil/v

C "3 3 While THOU hast fweetly gurgled down the vale, Filled up the paufe of love's delightful tale !

NOTES.

notes on this poem. What could I do ? I ever difliked publifhing my little modicums on loofe pages — but I (hall growwifer by his example ; and, indeed, am even now compofmg " one Riddle^ two Rebuffes, and an Acroftic, to a child at nurfe,*" which will be fet forth with all convenient fpeed. Meanwhile I am tempted to offend once more, and fubjoin the only two of my " wild ftrains" that now live in my recoUedtion. I can affiire Mr. P. they were written on the occafions they prbfefs to be — and the laft of them at a time when I had no idea of fUr- viving to provoke his indignation:

— • fed Cynarae breves

Annos fata dederunt, me Servatura diu.

TO A TUFT OF EARLY VIOLETS.

Sweet flowers ! that from your humble beds

Thus prematurely dare to rife, And truft your unprotefted heads

To cold Aquarius* watry fkies j

• See " One Epigram, Two Sonnets, and Onb Ode to a Boy at School, by W. Parfons, Efq."

I

C 114 3

While, ever as (he read, the confcious maid, By faultering voice, and downcast looks be- tray'd 200

NOTES.

Retire, retire! These tepid airs

Are not the genial brood of May ; That fun with light malignant glares,

And flatters only to betray.

Stern Winter's reign is not yet paft— — Lo I while your buds prepare to blow,

On icy pinions comes the blaft, And nips your root, and lays you low.

Alas, for fuch ungentle doom !

But I will Ihield you ; and fupply A kindlier foil on which to bloom,

A nobler bed on which to die.

Come then — ere yet the morning ray Has drunk the dew that gems your creft,

And drawn your balmiefl fweets away ; O come, and grace my Anna's bread.

Ye droop, fond flowers ! But, did ye know What worth, what goodnefs there refidc.

Your cups with livelieft tints would glow. And fpread their leaves with confcious pride.

Would blufhing on her lover's neck recline, And with her finger — point the tenderest line.

NOTES.

For there has liberal Nature join'd

Her riches to the ftores of Art, And added to the vigorous mind.

The foft, the fympathizing heart.

Come then — ere yet the morning ray Has drunk the dew that gems your creft,

And drawn your balmiefl fweets away ; O corne and grace my Anna's breaft.

O ! I fhould think, — that fragrant bed Might I but hope with you to fhare,—

Years of anxiety repaid.

By one (hort hour of tranfport there.

More bleft than me, thus fliall ye live Your little day ; and when ye die.

Sweet flowers ! the grateful mufe fhall give A verfe j the forrowing maid, a figh.

While I alas ! no diftant date. Mix with the duft from whence I came,

Without a friend to weep my fate. Without a ftone to tell my name.

I a

C "6 J

But thefe are past : and, mark me, Laura ! time That made what then was venial, now a crime,

^OTES.

WRITTENTWOYEARS AFTERTHE PRECEDING.

I wifli I was where Anna lies ;

For I am fick of lingering here And every hour AfFe<5lion cries,

Go, and partake her humble bier.

I wifh I could ! For when (he died

I loft my all ; and life has prov'd Since that fad hour a dreary void,

A wafte unlovely, and unlov'd.—

But who, when I am turn'd to clay.

Shall duly to her grave repair. And pluck the ragged mofs away.

And weeds that have " no bufinefs there V*

And who with pious hand Ihall bring

The flowers fhe cherifh'd, fnow-drops cold.

And violets that unheeded fpring, To fcatter o'er her hallow'd mold ?

C "7 3

To more befitting cares my thoughts confined, 205 And drove with youth, its follies from my mind.

And who, while memory loves to dwell

Upon her name for ever dear, Shall feel his heart with paflion fwell.

And pour the bitter, bitter tear ?

I DID IT ; and would fate allow,

Should vifit ftill, (hould ftill deplore- But health and ftrength have left me now. And I alas ! can weep no more.

Take then, fweet maid ! this fimple drain.

The laft I offer at thy ftirine ; Thy grave muft then undeck'd remain.

And all thy memory fade with mjne.

And can thy foft perfuafive look, Thy voice that might with mufic vie.

Thy air, that every gazer took. Thy matchlefs eloquence of eye.

Thy fpirits, frolickfome, as good. Thy courage, by no ills difmay'd.

Thy patience, by no wrongs fubdu'd,

Thy gay good-humour — Can they " fade!"

I 3

C "8 3

Since then, while Merry, and his nurfelings die, Thrill'd * by the liquid peril of an eye ;

IMITATIONS.

V. 207. Turgidus Alpinus jugulat dum Memnona, dumque Diffingit Rheni luteum caput, haec ego ludo, Quae nee in aede fonent certantia, judice Tarpa. —

NOTES.

Perhaps — but forrow dims my eye : Cold turf, which I no more muft view,

Dear name, which I no more muft figh, A long, a lafl, a fad adieu !

• Thrilled, &c.

Bid the ftreamy lightnings fly. In liquid peril from thy eye.

Dell. Cms.

Ne'er (halt thou know to figh>

Or on a foft idea die,

Ne'er on a recolleftion gafp.

Thy arms Ohe I jam fatis eft.

Anna Mat.

C "9 3

Gafp at a recolledtion, and drop down At the long ftreamy lightning of a frown ; 210 I footh, as humour prompts, my idle vein In frolick verfe, that cannot hope to gain Admiflion to the Album, nor be feen

In L *s Review, or Urban's Magazine.

O, for thy fpirit, Pope ! Yet why ? My

lays, 215

That wake no envy, and invite no praife, Half-creeping, and half-flying, yet fuffice To ftagger impudence, and ruffle vice. An hour may come, fo I delight to dream, When flowly wandering by thy facred ftream, 220 Majeftic Thames ! I leave the world behind. And give to fancy all th' enraptur'd mind. An hour may come, when I fliall ftrike the lyre To nobler themes : then, then, the chords infpire With thy own harmony, moft fweet, moft

ftrong, 225

And guide my hand thro' all the maze of fong ! Till then, enough for me, in fuch rude ftrains As mother Wit can give, and thofe fmall pains I4

[ 140 ]

A vacant hour allows ; to range the town, And hunt the clamorous brood of Folly down ; 230 Force every head, in Efte's defpite, to wear The cap and bells, by nature planted there. Muffle the rattle, feize the flavering {holes, And drive them, fcourged and whimpering, to

their holes. Burgoyne*, perhaps, unchill'd by creeping

age, 235

May yet arife, and vindicate the ftage ; The reign of nature and of fenfe reftore, And be whatever Terence was before.

IMITATIONS.

V. 235. Arguta meretrice potes, Davoque Chremeta Eludente fenem, comis garrire libellos Unus vivorum, Fundani.

NOTES.

* Burgoyne. See the note on v. ai.

C "I 3 And you, too, whole Menander ! who combine With his pure language and his flowing line, 240 The SOUL of Comedy ; may fteal an hour From the fond chace of ftill-efcaping power, The poet and the fage again unite. And fweetly blend instruction with delight.

And yet Elfrida's bard, tho' time has fhed 245 The fnow of age too deep around his head ; Feels the kind warmth, the fervour, that infpired His youthful breast, still glow unchecked, un-

tired : And yet, tho' like the bird of eve, his fong ** Fit audience finds" not in the giddy throng ; 250 The notes, tho' artful wild, tho' numerous chaste, Fill with delight the fober cafe of taste,

put thefe, and more I could with honour name, Too proud to stoop, like me, to vulgar game.

IMITATIONS.

V. 245. molle atque facetum

Virgilio annuerunt gaudentes rure Camenae.

C 12* 3

Subje6ls more worthy of their daring chufe, 255 And leave at large the abortions of the mufe. Proud of their privilege, the innumerous fpawn, From bogs and fens, the mire of Pindus drawn, New vigour feel, new confidence affume. And fwarm like Pharaoh's frogs in every room. 260

Sick of th' eternal croak which, ever near. Beat like the death-watch on my tortured ear ; And fure, too fure, that many a genuine child Of truth and nature, checked his wood-notes wild*.

NOTES.

• Checked his wood-notes wild. ^noirnuaHut xoXoiwn euTonon xux»o». But this is better illuftrated in a moft elegant fable of LelTing's, to which I defpair of doing juflice in a tranflation.

Du zurneft, Liebling der Mufen, &c. &c.

Thou art troubled, darling of the Mufes, thou art troubled at the clamorous fwarms of infefls which infeft Parnaflus. O hear from me what once the nightingale heard from the ftiepherd.

C "3 ]

Dear to the feeling heart in doubt to win 265

The vacant wanderer, midst th' unceafing din Of this hoarfe rout ; I feized at length the wand ; Refolved, tho' fmall my (kill, tho' weak my

hand. The mifchief in its progrefs to arrest, And exorcife the foil of fuch a pest. 270

Hence ! in the name 1 fcarce had fpoke,

when lo ! Reams of outrageous fonnets *, thick as fnow.

Sing then, faid he to the filent fongftrefs, one lovely evening in the fpring, fing then, fweet nightingale! Alas ! faid the nightingale, the frogs croak fo loud, that I have loft all defire to fing : doft thou not hear them ? I do, indeed, replied the fhepherd — but thy filence alone is the caufe of it.

" There's comfort yet !"

* Reams of outrageous fonnets. Of thefe I have collected a very reafonable quantity, which I purpofe

["4 3 Flew round my head ; yet, in my caufe fecure " Pour on," I cried, " pour on, I will endure." —

NOTES.

to prefix to fome future edition of the Mseviad, under the true claflic head of

INSIGNIUM VIRORUM

ALIQUOT TESTIMONIA

QVl

BAV : ET M^V : INCLYTISS : AUCTORIS

MEMINERUNT.

Meanwhile I (hall prefent the reader with the two firft that occur, as a fpecimcn of the coUeftion.

SONNET I.

** To the anonymous author of the Baviad, oc- cafioned by his fcurrilous, and moft unmerited attack on Mr. Wefton.

Demon of darkness ! whofoe'er thou art, That dar'ft aflume the brighter angel's form.

And o'er the peaceful vale impel the ftorm, With many a figh to rend the bcttefi heart,

C "S ] What ! (hall I flirink, becaufe the noble train 275

Whofe judgement I impugn, whofe tafle arraign,

NOTES.

Force from th' unconfctous eye the tear to ftart.

And with juft fride th' indignant bofom warm ; Avaunt ! to where unnumber'd fpirits fwarm,

Foul and malignant as thyfelf, depart. Genius of Pope defcend, ye fervile crew

Of imitators vile, intrude not ! ! ! I appeal To thee, and thee alone from outrage bafe.

Tell me tho' fair the forms his fancy drew, Should'ft thou the fecrets of his heart reveal. Would fame his memory crown, or cover with dif- grace."

J. M. Gent, Mag. Aug. 1792.

This poor driveller, who is ftupid enough to be Wefton's admirer, and malignant enough to be his friend, I take to be one Morleyj* whom I now and

• I was right. Mr. Morley, who I underftand is a clergy- man, and who, like Mr. Parfoos, exults in the idea of having

C "6 3

Alive, and trembling for their favourites* fate^ Purfue my verfewith unrelenting hate !

KOT28.

then obferve in the Gent. Mag. ufhering his great

firft attacked me, has fince publifhed a *' Tale," the wit, or rather duUaefs of which, if I recoiled right, coniifts in my being difappointed of a Living !

Here follow a few of the introduftory linei which for poetry and pleafaotry can only be exceeded by fome of Mr. Parfon's.

•< What if a little once I did abufe thee ?

" Worfe than thou hadft deferved I could not ufe thee.

" For when I fpied thy Satyr's cloven foot,

" 'Tis very true, I took thee for a brute ; '

*• And marking more attentively thy manners,

** I fince have wiflied thy hide were at the tanner's.

*' But if a man thou art, as fome fuppofe,

" Oh! how my fingers itch to pull thy nofe!

** As pleafed as Punch, I'd hold it in my gripe,

*' Till Parkinfon had ftuffed thee for a fnipe ! I !

It is rather fingular that this ftilUbora lump of infipidity (hould be introduced to the Bookfeller under the aufpices of Doctor Parr. If that rcfpe£table name was not abufed

C "7 3

No : faveme from their praise, and I can fit

Calm, unconcerned, the butt of Andrew's wit, 280 And Topham's fenfe j perverfely gay, can fmile While Efte, the zany, in his motley ftyle,

NOTES.

prototype's doggrel into notice, with an importance truly worthy of it.

SONNET II.

To the execrable Baviad.

Monster of Turpitude! who feem'ft inclined Through me to pierce with thy impregnate dart,

on the occafion, I can only fay that politics, like mifery, " bring a man acquainted with ftrange bedfellows"!

For the reft, I will prcfent Mr. Morley with a couple of lines, which, if he will get conftrued and ferioufly reflcft upon, before he next puts pen to paper, may be of more fervice to him, than all the iiiflruflion, and all the encou* ragement, the Dofior, apparently, ever gave him :

Cur ego laborem notus eHe tarn pravi Cum flare gratis cum filcntio polTiml

C »8 ]

Calls barbarous names ; while Bell and Boaden

rave, And Vaughan, a brother blockhead's verfe to

fave.

IMITATIONS.

V. 283 — 288. Men' moveat cimex Pantilius ? autcrucier, quod Vellicet abfentem Demetrius ? aut quod ineptus Fannius Hermoginis laedat conviva Tigelli ?

NOTES.

The Jine -/pun nerve of each full Sofom'd mind,* And rock in apathy — the sensi VE heart,

Tremble I forlo! my Oracle -fo famed

Shall RING each morn in thy accursed ear

A griding pang ! so when the Grecian MAREf

Enter'd the /otu«, old Pyramus exclaim'd

* Qucre fall-bottom'd ? Printer's Devil,

f Grecian Mare. This has been hitherto, inaccurate!/ enough, named the Trojan horse ; and, indeed, I myfelf had nearly fallen into the unfcholarlike error, when my

C "9 ] Toils day by day my eharader to drkw^ 285

And heaps upon me every thing— but law.

I fee ! I fee ! and hurl'd his lightning fpear.

While Capaneus drew back his head — for fear,

And godlike* Alexander gazing round,

Unconfcious of his viftories — to come, Approach'd the monarch, and withyb^j profound Explain'd th' impending wrath o'er Ilium's royal dome.

J. Bell.

learned friend Greathcad convinced me (from I^ope's emen>

dations of Virgil, under the fantafiic name of Scriblerus)

that the animal in queftion was a mare— She being there

faid to be foeta armis, armed with a fatus. Let us hear no

more, therefore of the Trojan horse.

The patronymick Trojan is ftill more abfurd. Homer

exprefsly declares the Mare to have been produced by Pal«

las — Palladisarte : now Pallas was a Grecian Goddefs, as

is fufiiciently manifeft from her name, which is derived from

n«M« vibro.

J. Bell.

♦ Godlike ; that is, SmhJi)?, from ^to, God, and i,5))f, like, (Vide Hom-^ Tranflators in general (I except a late

K

C 130 3 But do I then, (abjuring every aim) All cenfure flight, and all applaufe difclaim ? Not fo : where judgment holds the rod, I bow My humbled neck, awed by her angry brow ; 290 Where tafte and fenfe approve, I feel a joy Dear to my heart, and mixed with no alloy. I Write not to the modifli herd : my days. Spent in the tranquil fliades of letter'd eafe, Alk no admiring stare from thofe I meet, 295 No loud " that's he !" to make their pafTage fweet.

I ■ ' ■ ■ ■ — . ■■, ■ ■ I II - 1. „ < .111 - II .^

NOTES.

One) are too inattentive to the compound epithets of this great poet. By why does Homer call Alexander Codlike, when he appears from Curtius Quintiufes tedious gazette, in verfe, to have had one Ihoulder higher than the other ?

My friend V thinks it was purely to pay his court to

him, in hopes of getting into his Will, or rather into his MISTRESSES. It may bc fo ; but 'ti$ ftrangc the abfurdity was never noticed before.

t 131 3 Pleafed to steal foftly by, unmarked, unknown, I leave the world to Holcroft, Pratt*, and Vaughan.

ROTES.

* Pratt. This gentleman lately put in pradlice a very notable fcheme. Having fcribbled himfelf fairly out of notice, he found it expedient to retire to the continent for a few months — to provoke the enqui- ries of Mr. Lane's indefatigable readers.

Mark the ingratitude of the creatures ! No en~ quiries were made, and Mr. Pratt was forgotten be- fore he had crofled the channel. Ibi omnis efFufus labor. — But what !

The moufe that is content with one poor hole, Can never be a moufe of any foul.

Baffled in this expedient, he had recourfe to another, and, while we were dreaming of nothing lefs, came before us in the following paragraph.

** A few days fince died, at Bafle in Swiflerland, the ingenious Mr. Pratt. His lofs will be feverely felt by the literary world ; as he joined to the ac- complifhments of the gentleman the erudition of the fcholar."

C J3» 3 Of thefe enough. Yet may the few I love. For who would fing in vain ! my verfe ap- prove ; 300 Chief thou, my friend ! who, from my earliest

years, Hast fhared my joys, and more than fhared my cares.

IMITATIONS.

V. 300. probat haec Odavius, optimus

atque Fufcus : & haec utinam Vifcorum laudet uterque !

NOTES.

This was inferted in the London papers for feveral days fuccedively. The country papers too *« yelled out like fyllables of dolour." At length, while our eyes were yet wet for the irreparable lofs we had fuftained, came a fecond paragraph as follows.

C 133 3 Sure, if our fates hang on fome hidden Power, And take their colour from the natal hour. Then, Ireland * ! the fame planet on us rofe; 305

Such the strong fympathies our lives difclofe 1

KOTES.

** As no event pf late has caufed a more general forrow than the fuppofed death of the ingenious Mr. Pratt ; we are happy to have it in our power to aflTure his numerous admirers, that he is as well as they can wifti, and (what they will be delighted to hear) bufied in preparing his Travels for the prefs."

♦« Laud we the Gods!"

* Here, on account of its connexion with the per- fon mentioned in the text, I fliall take the liberty — cxtremum hunc mihi concede of inferting the foU lowing " Imitation," addrefled to him feveral years fince. It was never printed ; nor, as far as I know, feen by any but himfelf: and I tranfcribe it for the prefs, with mingled fenfations of gratitude and de- light, at the favourable change of circumftances we have BOTH experienced Hnceit was written.

C 134 ] Thou knowest how foon we felt this influence bland. And fought the brook and coppice hand in hand,

NOTES. TO THE

REV. JOHN IRELAND.^r

IMITATION OF HORACE.

LIB. II. ODE 16.

OtiumDivos rogat, ice.

When howling winds, and louring Ikies, The light, untimber'd bark furprife

Near Orkney's boifterous feas ; The trembling crew forget to fwear. And bend the knees, unufed to prayer,

To aflc a little eafe.

For cafe the Turk, ferocious, prays, For eafe the barbarous Rufle for eafe,

Which P k could ne'er obtain ;

Which Bedford lack'd amidft his ftore. And liberal Clive, with mines of ore,

Oft bade for — but in vain.

♦ Now Vicar of Croydon in Surry, and Author of •« Difcourfcs on the RejtSion of the GoJ^el iy the Antient Jtwf and Greeks."

E '3S 3 And fliaped rude bows, and uncouth whistles

blew, And paper kites (a last, great effort,} flew^ 310

For not the liveried troop that wait Around the manfions of the great,

Can keep, my friend, aloof; Fear, that attacks the mind by fits, And Care, that like a raven flits

Around the lordly roof.

" O, well is he" to whom kind heaven A decent competence has given !

Rich in the blefling fent ; He grafps not anxioufly at more, Dreads not to ufe his little ftore.

And fattens on content.

" O well is he !" for life is loft, Amidft a whirl of paflions toft ;

Then why, dear Jack, ftiould man, Magnanimous Ephemera ! ftretch His views beyond the narrow reach

Of his contracted fpan 1

Why fliould he from his country run. In hopes, beneath a foreign fun,

K4

C 136 ] And when the day was done, retired to rest. Sleep on our eyes, and funfliine in our breast.

NOIES.

Serencr hours to find ? Was never man in this wild chace, Who changed his nature with his place.

And left himfelf behind.

For, winged with all the lightning's fpeed. Care climbs the bark, Care mounts the. (te?d,

An inmate of the breaft : Nor Barca's heat, nor Zembla's cold. Can drive from that pernicious hold.

The too-tenacious gueft.

They, whom no anxious thoughts annoy, Qrateful, the frefent hour enjoy,

Nor feek the next to know ; To lighten every ill they ftrive, Nor, ere Misfortune's hand arrive,

Anticipate the blow.

Something muft ever be amifs

Man has HIS joys; but perfe£^ blifs

C 137 ] In riper years, again together thrown, Our studies, as our fports before, were one.

Lives only in the brain : We cannot all have all we want ; And Chance, unaflced, to this may grant

What THAT has begg'd in vain.

Wolf ruflied on death in manhood's bloom, Paulet crept flowly to the tomb;

Here breath, there fame was given : And that wife Power who weighs our lives. By contras yzndihy pros,* contrives

To keep the balance even.

* In the earlier editions of this poem (which were printed during my abfence from town) there was an enormous hallucination in this place — no lefs than a tranfpofuion of an R \ This very naturally called forth all the indignation of the lynx-eyed and learned Mr. Parfons, and he comment- ed upon it in the following terms.

" It would be endlefs to notice all the errors of this " prefumptuous pedant, whofe dullnefs is equal to h^s " impudence, his fal(hood and malignity ; and before h^

C 138 3 Together we explored the stoic page 315

Of the Ligurian, stern the' beardlefs fage !

NOTES.

To THEE fhe gave two piercing eyes, A body juftof Tydeus' fize.

A judgment found, and clear ; A mind with various fcience fraught, A liberal foul, a thread bare coat.

And forty pounds a year.

" makes a parade of greek quotations againft fuch a writer " as Edwin*, he fhould at lead learn latin; but in this «« every merchant's clerk will deteA him."

* Our Ariftarchus is at '< his old lunes," blundering again. The only quotation I have made againft Edwin (to ufe Mr. Parfons's elegant phrafe) is a latin, and not a greek one — but 'tis lofs of time to talk to fuch naturals of quotations. The morofoph Efte (Telegraph, April 28) announced an Ode of Horace's as a compofition of Mr. Parfons's, and Parfons himfelf undoubtedly miftook the verfe alluded to, for a profe exclamation of my own !

r 139 3

Or traced the Aquinian thro* the Latine road. And trembled at the lafhes he bestowed. Together too, when Greece unlocked her stores. We roved in thought o'er Troy's devoted (hores ; 320

Or followed, while he fought his native foil, ** That old man eloquent" from toil to toil ; Lingering with good AlcinoUs o'er the tale, Till the east reddened, and the stars grew pale.

NOTES.

To ME one eye not over good,

Two fides, that, to their coft, have flood

A ten years heftic cough ; Aches, flitches, all the numerous ills That fwell the devilifh doctor's bills.

And fweep poor mortals off.

A coat more bare than thine, a foul That fpurns the croud's malign controul ;

A fixed contempt of wrong ; Spirits above affliflion's power, And fkill to charm the lonely hour

With no inglorious fong.

I 140 3

So past our life ; till fete, fcvcrcly kind, 325 Tore us apart, and land and fea disjoined. For many a year : now met, to part no more. The afcendant Power, confefled fo ftrong of yore. Stronger by abfence, every thought controuls. And knits in perfect unity our fouls. 33Q

O Ireland! if the verfethat thus effays To trace our lives " e'en from our boyifli

days," Meet thy applaufe : the world befide may rail —

I care not at the uninterefting tale :

I only feek, in language void of art, 335

To ope my breaft, and pour out all my heart ; And boaftful of thy various worth, to tell. How long we lov'd, and thou canft add, how

WELL !

Thou too, MTHOPPNERlifmy wifti availed, Should'ft praife the ftrain that but for thee had failed : 340

Thou knowest, when Indolence pofleffed me all. How oft I rouzed at thy infpiring call ;

C «4i 3 Burft from the Syren's fafcinating power,

And gave the Mufe thou loveft, one studious hour. Proud of thy friendfhip, while tlic voice of fame 345

Purfues thy merits with a loud acclaim, I ftiare the triumph — not unpleafed to fee Our kindred destinies ; for thou like me.

Waft thrown too foon on the world's dangerous tide.

To fink or fwim, as chance might best de- cide. 350

Me, all too weak to gain the distant land.

The waves had whelmed, but that an outstretched hand

Kindly upheld, when now with fear unnerved —

And still protedls the life it then preferved.

Thee, powers untried, perhaps unfelt be- fore, 355

Enabled, tho' with pain, to reach the fhore,

[ »4» ]

While West stood by, the doubtful strife to

view, Nor lent a friendly arm to help thee through. Nor ceafed the labour there : Hate, ill-fupprest. Advantage took of thy ingenuous breast, 360

Where faving wifdom yet had plac'd no fcreen, But every word, and every thought was feen. To darken all thy life— 'Tis past: more

bright Thro' the difparting gloom thou strikest the

fight ; While baffled malice hastes thy powers to

own, ' 365

And wonders at the worth fo long unknown. I too, whofe voice no claims but truth's e'er

moved, Who long have feen thy merits, long have loved. Yet loved in filence, lest the rout fliould fay Too partial friendfhip tuned th' applaufive

lay ; 370

C »43 3 Now, now that all confpire thy name to raife, May join the (hout of unfufpeded praife.

Go then, fince the long struggle now is o'er. And envy can obstruct thy fame no more ; With ardent.hand thy magic toil purfue, 375

And pour frefh wonders on our raptured view. One SUN is fet, one glorious sun ; whofc

rays Long gladdened Britain with no common blaze : O, may'ft thou foon (for clouds begin to rife) Affert his station in the eastern fkies, 380

Glow with his fires, and give the world to fee Another Reynolds rifen. My friend, in

thee! But whither roves the Mufe ? I but defigned To note the few whofe praife delights my mind ; But friendfhip's power has drawn the verfc

astray, 385

Wide from its aim, a long, but flowery way. Yet one remains, one name for ever dear. With whom, converfing many a happy year,

[ 144 ]

I marked with fecret joy the opening bloom

Of Virtue, prefcient of the fruits to come, 390

Truth, honour, red^itude O while thy breast,

My Belgrave! of its every wifti poflest, Swells with its recent tranfports, recent fears. And tenderest titles strike, yet charm thy ears. Say, wilt thou from thy feelings paufe awhile, 395 To view my humble labours with a fmile ? Thou wilt : for still 'tis thy delight to praife. And still thy fond applaufe has crowned my lays. Here then I rest ; foothed with the hope to prove The approbation of " the few I love," 400

Joined (for ambitious thoughts will fometimes

rife) Joined to th' endurance of the good and wife. Thus happy — I can leave with tranquil breast Fafhion's loud praife to Laura and the rest. Who rhyme and rattle, innocent of thought, 405 Nor know that nothing can proceed from nought.

C 145 3 Thus happy, — I can view unruffled, MileSj Twift into fplay-foot doggrel all St. Giles. Edwin fpin paragraphs with Vaughan's whole

fkill, Efte rapt in nonfenfe, gnaw his grey-goofe

quill, 410

Merry in dithyrambics wail his wrongs, And Wefton, foaming from Pope's odious

fongs, " Much-injured Wefton," vent in odes his grief. And fly to Urban for a (hort relief.

IMITATIONS.

V. 410. Complures alios, do6tos ego quos — Prudens praetereo : quibus haec lint qualiacunque Arridere velim ; doliturus, fi placeant fpe Deterius nostra. Demetri teque Tigelli, Difcipularum inter jubeo plorare cathedras.

FINIS.

819S

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