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THE LIFE OF
REV. DAVID BRAINERD.
L. B. SEELEY AKD SOXS, WESTON GREEN, THAMES DITTON.
THE LIFE OF
THE
REV. DAVID BRAINERD,
MISSIONARY TO THE NORTH AMERICAN INDIANS.
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BY THE REV. JOSIAH PRATT, B.D.
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MDCCCXXXIV.
CONTENTS.
PAGE.
INTRODUCTION - - vii
CHAPTER I.
From his Birth to his entrance at College 1
CHAPTER II.
His conduct at College, and preparation for the Ministry - - - - - - -21
CHAPTER III.
Entrance on his Missionary Labours - - 58
CHAPTER IV.
The first year of his Mission - 71
CHAPTER V.
The second year of his Missionary Labours ; from April 1744, to April 1745 - - - -127
M316039
VI CONTENTS.
PAGE.
CHAPTER VI.
The third year of his Misssionary Labours; from April 1745, to April 1746 - ... 172
CHAPTER VII.
The fourth year of his Missionary Labours ; from April 1 746, to April 1747 - - - -281
CHAPTER VIII.
His last Sickness and Death - - - - 324
CHAPTER IX.
Concluding Remarks - - - - . -355
REMAINS OF MR. BRAINERD - - . .386
INTRODUCTION.
THE Life of DAVID BRAINERD here offered to the reader, is taken, by permission of the Rev. JOSIAH PRATT, Editor of the Missionary Register, from that work, with the addition of some farther passages from President Edwards' Memoir, which seemed too valuable to be omitted.
The Editor of this volume, in prefixing a few In troductory remarks, will first give one or two general reflections occasioned by the Memoir, and then such particulars respecting its usefulness in the cause of Missions, and respecting the congregation over which Brainerd laboured, and the present state of the North American Indians, as he has collected from other sources. He adds also a slight sketch of the progress of Missionary labours.
The DEVOTEDNESS of Brainerd to our Heavenly Master was the most striking peculiarity of his cha racter. He gave up himself entirely to his work, abandoning every thing for it. While he himself underwent all sort of privations, he surrendered his own private property without reserve to educate others. God always honours such devotedness. Self-sacrifice for the sake of Christ has a present reward in the good done, as well as a future reward from the Lord of all. The success with which it pleased God to crown Brainerd's labours, perfectly corresponded to that patient zeal and holy earnest-
VllI INTRODUCTION.
ness, that vehemence and devotedness, which the same God bestowed on him to enable him with un wearied labour steadily to seek success in the faith ful, self-denying, and diligent use of means.
The DISTRESSING EXPERIENCE through which Brain- erd passed, his times of sorrow and despondency, his disappointed hopes and his sensibility to sin, make his history much more generally useful and interesting than it would otherwise have been. Sorrow makes up so large a portion of the lives of men, and all God's children have to pass through so much con flict and tribulation, that they cannot realize the blessedness of sympathy of feeling with those who have never felt sorrow. When a most eminent Christian like Brainerd goes through those afflictions and trials which are common to all, he is brought nearer to us. The Lord of glory himself chose to be " a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; " and for ever blessed be our God for all the comfort that this gives to his suffering people, — they know that he is touched with a feeling of our infirmities.
Yet while our interest in this work is increased by the distressing experience which it records, we should guard against those peculiarities which occa sion needless distress.
Constitutional melancholy was a part of Brainerd's character, and no doubt tended to aggravate those seasons of depression to which his life shews that he was subject. He seems to the Editor, also to have suffered unnecessarily from the endeavour, in the great aim and scope of his labours, to separate, as a motive of his conduct, God's glory and his own personal interest : things whicli are perfectly united together, and should never be disjoined as if they were inconsistent. If glory to God in the highest be the first part of the Angelic Song on the birth of the Saviour, it is inseparably joined with peace
INTRODUCTION. IX
on earth, and good -will towards men. God's glory, and his creatures' happiness while seeking that glory, form one blessed result that need never be disjoined.
The SUCCESS which attends a free and full decla ration of the Grace of the Gospel, after other means have been tried in vain, is a very striking and instructive feature in the history of the Church. The well-known fact in the commencement of the Greenland Mission, after a considerable trial of other means, of the happy effect of a simple declaration of the sufferings of Christ, accords with Brainerd's History as given in page 233. Mr. Newton records a similar instance in a letter to Hannah More, men tioned in the interesting biography just published of that valuable female. The fact is as follows : —
Mr. Newton says, * A friend of mine was desired to visit a woman in prison, — he was informed of her evil habits of life, and therefore spoke strongly of the terrors of the Lord, and the curses of the law; she heard him awhile, and then laughed in his face; upon this he changed his note, and spoke of the Saviour, and what he had done and suffered for sinners ; he had not talked long in this strain, before he saw a tear or two in her eyes ; at length she interrupted him by saying, ' Why sir, do you think there can be any hope of mercy for me ? ' He answered * Yes, if you feel your need of it, and are willing to seek it in God's appointed way. I am sure it is as free for you as for myself.' She replied, ' Ah ! if I had thought so, I should not have been in this prison. I long since settled it in my mind that I was utterly lost ; that I had sinned beyond all possibility of for giveness ; and that made me desperate/ He visited her several times, and when she went away, (for she was transported) he had good reason to hope that she was truly converted. He gave me this relation more than forty years ago, and it has been, I hope,
X INTRODUCTION.
of some use to me through the course of my ministry. Christ crucified, is the wisdom and power of God.'
This should not lead us to withhold the law of God, but it should lead us freely and fully to state the good tidings of grace for the most sinful. But one of the chief USES OF THIS LIFE has been to foster a mis sionary spirit. Missionary Biography, since the days of the Apostles, is comparatively of recent origin. The life of Eliot was published in 1691, by Cotton Mather. The success attending his labours and those of Mayhew and Sheppard, who laboured at the same period, gave rise, (Dean Pearson has remarked) to the Society for the Propagation of the Gospel in Foreign Parts, which was incorporated by charter in 1701. Ziegenbalg landed in Tranquebar, in 1706, and was followed by Grundler and others, to whose labours God gave a manifest blessing.
The Memoir of Brainerd published in 1749, fol lowed next in the course of Missionary Biography. His career was brief. He died at the age of 30; but he has left an imperishable memorial. The scene of his labours was very obscure, limited, and remote, but his usefulness has extended through the churches of Christ over the world.
The peculiar devotedness of heart to his Saviour which it pleased God to bestow upon him, and his ardent and unquenchable spirit of zeal for the enlargement of his kingdom, have been one great means by which God has kindled that missionary zeal, which is now spreading through the Protestant Churches of Christ.
There have been few devoted labourers since the publication of Brainerd's life who have not been greatly benefited by it.
It is well known how highly Henry Martyn valued this work. His mind was directed to missions by a remark of Mr. Simeon's. Soon after this, perusing
INTRODUCTION. XI
the life of David Brainerd, who preached with apos tolical zeal and success to the North American Indians, and who finished a course of self-denying labours for his Redeemer, with unspeakable joy, at the early age of thirty-two, his soul was filled with a holy emulation of that extraordinary man: and, after deep consideration and fervent prayer, he was at length fixed in a resolution to imitate his example. His subsequent course shows how much he made this life his model.
The remarks of another devoted Missionary, the Rev. Levi Parsons, shew its beneficial influence on his mind ; they are extracted from his private journal, printed in his life.
' Much refreshed this day by perusing the life of Brainerd. How completely devoted to God, how ardent his affections ! What thirstings after holiness! What love for souls! His life was short, but brilliant and useful. He ushered in a glorious day to the church. Counting pain and distress, and every bodily infirmity as dross, he patiently encountered difficulties and dangers, and at last sweetly resigned his all to his Saviour. Multitudes will have reason to call him blessed. Many perishing Indians well remember his earnest desire for their good, with gratitude and love. He has taught the world an important lesson, and enforced it by a powerful example.'
Indeed, almost every devoted missionary who has laboured in extending the kingdom of God since the days of Brainerd, has been quickened by his heart- stirring and fervent spirit for enlarging the kingdom of Christ.
The reader will be both interested and affected by the accounts which have been given of the NATIVE CONGREGATION over which he laboured. His mis sionary labours at Cranberry, the town in the central
xii INTRODUCTION.
part of New Jersey, whither he had removed with the whole body of his Indians before his death, were afterwards carried on by his younger brother, John Brainerd, for years, with much success.
Dr. Brown, in his History of the Propagation of the Gospel, has collected the fullest account of this congregation. ' Many of those who appeared to have been converted under the ministry of David Brainerd not only persevered in the profession of religion, but adorned it by a holy life ; though several fell away. Other Indians were also truly converted.
' During the American war, Mr. John Brainerd's correspondence with the society in Scotland for pro pagating Christian knowledge was suspended, and toward the close of it he died. In 1783, he was suc ceeded in the charge of his Congregation by Mr. Daniel Simon, an Indian, who had been ordained to the ministry; but it was soon found necessary to suspend him from his office, on account of drunk- kenness and other irregularities. No missionary was appointed to succeed him ; but the congregation was occasionally supplied by the neighbouring ministers.
' In July 1 80 2, some commissioners from New Jersey conducted eighty-five Delaware Indians, the remains of Mr. John Brainerd's congregation, to New Stock- bridge, to place them under the ministry of Mr. Ser geant, the missionary in that town. For many years past they had been left entirely to themselves, having no spiritual guide to watch over them, no meetings for divine worship on the Sabbath, and no school for their children. Hence, they in general grew very wicked, and had been long in a very miserable state, scattered through the country, and excessively ad dicted to drinking. To this, however, there might be some exceptions : mention, at least, is made of one old woman dying after they removed to Stock-
INTRODUCTION. Xlll
bridge, who dated her conversion from the time of the great awakening under Mr. David Brainerd, and who was distinguished for her piety to the day of her death.
* Such a result of those bright, those pleasing pros pects, which once dawned on the tribe of Indians, is truly deplorable. Few of these individuals, however, could have belonged to Mr. David Brainerd's con gregation, and such as did, must, in general, have been little more than children at the time. Indeed, though there certainly was an extraordinary work of grace among his people, yet it was never supposed they were all converted. Of adults, he baptized only between forty and fifty, and though there were many others, as we have already mentioned, under deep concern for their souls, yet as they did not give satisfactory evidence of a saving change, he judged it expedient to defer their baptism. Now, as the Christian Indians, in general, continued for several years at least to adorn their profession by a holy exemplary conversation ; as some of them died in the Lord; as twenty-seven years after Mr. Brainerd's death, there were still, even according to the most unfavourable accounts, ten or twelve, who were considered as fit for admission to the Lord's Supper, it is probable there were as many, or even a greater number than he ever supposed, who were truly con verted to Christ, maintained a Christian deportment to the last, and now join with him in heaven, in celebrating the praises of God and of the Lamb. It gives us much pleasure to state, that the late Dr. Witherspoon, president of New Jersey College, in referring to these Indians, assures us that it was fully attested, that they had persevered with scarcely any exceptions, in their profession of religion, and even adorned it by their exemplary conversation/
This history has been given as calculated to show
XIV INTRODUCTION.
us the vast importance of continuing the means of grace, and of the persevering efforts which only Re ligious Societies are calculated to make. The continued and renewed manifestations of Divine grace are needful to maintain the work of grace.
The INDIAN TRIBES in North America gradually became intermingled with the Europeans, or were driven back further and further from the coasts of the ocean, which they once occupied.
It is gratifying to know that American Missionary Societies have zealously taken up the important work of evangelizing these native tribes, and have extended and successful missions amongst them.
An account of these may be seen in that truly valuable publication the Missionary Register, and especially in the Annual Survey published at the commencement of the year. From the volume for 1823, p. 76 — 79, it appears that there were then 471,417 North American Indians, as follows : —
East of the Mississippi 120,625
Between the Mississippi and the Rocky Mountains. . . 179.5Q2 West of the Rocky Mountains 1/1,417
471,417
The Congress of the United States vote an annual sum of 10,000 dollars for maintaining schools among them.
It is very interesting to mark THE PROGRESS of Missionary labours. There was a considerable preparation by the foundation of several societies for Missionary exertions, before the time of Brainerd. The New England Company was incorporated in 1661, and Boyle, in 1691, left a legacy to it. It still exists, though but little known ; and it is hoped that it may yet rise to increased usefulness. The Society for Propagating the Gospel was formed in
INTRODUCTION. XV
1701; the Danish Mission College, in 1706; the Scotch Society for the Propagation of the Gospel was incorporated in 1709. It was under this Society that the Missionaries, John and David Brainerd, laboured for the conversion of the North American Indians. The United Brethren began their noble exertions in 1732, and have furnished a gratifying example of what may be done with but feeble means by Christian zeal.
Though there was this large preparation of ma terials, the progress of Missionary labours, before the time of Brainerd, was very limited. Gradually, however, since then, the church has been awakening to its duties to the heathen world. The apostolic Schwartz entered on his labours in 1750, soon after the death of Brainerd, and continued, with the com panions who soon joined them, and the Moravian Brethren, to sustain almost alone, for nearly half a a century, the whole labour of missions to the hea then. The close of the eighteenth and the beginning of the nineteenth century will ever be memorable for the more extended revival of Missionary zeal in the Christian churches. The Baptist Mis sionary Society led the way ; the London Missionary Society, in 1795; the Edinburgh Missionary So ciety, in 1796; and the Wesleyan Missionary So ciety, from an early day in the labours of Mr. Wesley, succeeded. The Netherlands Missionary Society, in 1797, and the Church Missionary Society, in 1800, followed in their steps. American Chris tians, and various kindred Societies, in foreign coun tries, have much strengthened these works of love; and all are sending forth yearly an increasing number of faithful labourers to the heathen.
These things show us that we witness that which the Apostle beheld in prophetic vision: I saw another angel fly in the midst of heaven, having the everlasting
XVI INTRODUCTION.
gospel to preach unto them that dwell on the earth, and to every nation, and kindred, and tongue, and people. And let us never forget that this angel says, with a loud voice, Fear God, and give glory to him, for the hour of his judgment is come ; and worship him that made heaven, and earth, and the sea, and the fountain of waters. It is our clearest duty and our richest privi lege, to labour with indefatigable zeal in propagating the gospel, thus obeying the last command given by Christ, on his leaving this world, Matt, xxviii. 19, 20 ; and looking to the future reward at his return, Dan. xii. 3. But while it is so, let us still bear in mind it is the hour of his judgment to the wicked. Every thing is shaking around us, and with the general propa gation of the gospel, and with the universal esta blishment of the kingdom of Christ, is connected the breaking in pieces and consuming of all those king doms which have preceded it, (Dan. ii, 44.)
As Christians, it becomes us to seek to have a clear view of what the scriptures have told us is before us, that we may not labour for the most blessed of all objects, unprepared for those judg ments which precede its accomplishment. May we now so fight the good fight, and finish our course, and keep the faith, that we may receive the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, shall give at that day, to all them that love his appearing, 2 Tim. iv. 8.
EDWARD BICKERSTETH. Watton Rectory, Oct. 20, 1834.
LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD
CHAPTER I.
From his Birth to his entrance at College.
ELIOT, in the West, and Schwartz, in the East, have ennobled the name of Missionary ; and have dis played, in the latter days of the church, the virtues of the apostolic age. DAVID BRAINERD is worthy to rank with these distinguished men. He did not, indeed, survive, like his brethren, to a good old age. His course was short, but laborious and successful. Entering, in his twenty-fifth year, on nearly the same field of abour which Eliot had first broken up about a century before, he departed to his rest in his thirtieth, young in years, but rich in graces.
He was born April 20, 1718, at Haddam, in Con necticut. His father, who died when his son was about nine years of age, was one of his Majesty's council for that colony. His mother was Mrs. Do- B
2 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD :
rothy Hobart, daughter of the Rev. Jeremiah Hobart, of Haddam.
He was the third son of his parents, who had five sons and four daughters. Mrs. Dorothy Brainerd, having lived several years a widow, died when her son David was about fourteen years of age. De prived thus early of both his parents, their anxious care of him was not lost. The seed soon sprang up and flourished with vigour during his few surviving years.
At a very early age he had strong impressions on his mind of the importance of religion, and was agi tated by the fear of death. This fear impelled him to the private duties of religion ; but they were an irksome task to him.
The progress of his mind, at this period of his his tory, may be given in his own words.
' I was, I think, from my youth, something sober, and inclined rather to melancholy than the contrary extreme ; but do not remember any thing of convic tion of sin worthy of remark, till I was, I believe, about seven or eight years of age ; when I became something concerned for my soul, and terrified at the thoughts of death, and was driven to the perform ance of duties : but it appeared a melancholy business, and destroyed my eagerness for play. And, alas ! this religious concern was but short-lived. However, I sometimes attended secret prayer ; and thus lived at " ease in Zion, without God in the world," and without much concern, as I remember, till I was above thirteen years of age. But some time in the winter of 1732, 1 was something roused out of carnal security, by I scarce know what means at first; but was much
HIS YOUTHFUL DAYS. 3
excited by the prevailing of a mortal sickness in Had- dam. I was frequent, constant, and something fer vent in duties, and took delight in reading, especially Mr. Janeway's Token for Children. I felt sometimes much melted in duties, and took great delight in the performance of them ; and I sometimes hoped that I was converted, or at least in a good and hopeful way for heaven and happiness, not knowing what conversion was. The Spirit of God at this time proceeded far with me ; I was remarkably dead to the world, and my thoughts were almost wholly employed about my soul's concerns ; and I may in deed say, " Almost I was persuaded to be a Chris tian." I was also exceedingly distressed and melan choly at the death of my mother, in March 1732. But afterwards my religious concern began to decline, and I by degrees fell back into a considerable degree of security, though I still attended secret prayer fre quently.
' About the 15th of April, 1733, I removed from my father's house to East Haddam, where I spent four years, but still " without God in the world;" though, for the most part, I went a round of secret duty. I was not exceedingly addicted to young company, or frolicking, as it is called. But this I know, that when I did go into company, I never returned from a frolic in my life with so good a conscience as I went with ; it always added new guilt to me, and made me afraid to come to the throne of grace, and spoiled those good frames I was wont sometimes to please myself with. But, alas! all my good frames were but self-righteousness, not bottomed on a desire for the glory of God.
'About the latter end of April, 1737, being full B 2
4 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD :
nineteen years of age, I removed to Durham, and began to work on my farm, and so continued the year out, or nearly, till I was twenty years old ; fre quently longing, from a natural inclination, after a liberal education. When I was about twenty years of age, I applied myself to study; and, sometime before, was more than ordinarily excited to, and in duty : but now engaged more than ever in the duties of religion. I became very strict and watchful over my thoughts, words, and actions ; and thought I must be sober indeed, because I designed to devote myself to the ministry ; and imagined I did dedicate myself to the Lord.
' Some time in April, 1738, I went to Mr. Fiske's, the pastor of the church at Haddam, and lived with him during his life. And I remember he advised me wholly to abandon young company, and associate myself with grave, elderly people : which counsel I followed ; and my manner of life was now exceeding regular, and full of religion, such as it was: for I read my Bible more than twice through in less than a year ; I spent much time, every day, in secret prayer and other secret duties ; I gave great at tention to the word preached, and endeavoured to my utmost to retain it. So much concerned was I about religion, that I agreed with some young per sons to meet privately on Sabbath evenings for re ligious exercises, and thought myself sincere in these duties ; and, after our meeting was ended, I used to repeat the discourses of the day to myself, and re collect what I could, though sometimes it was very late in the night. Again, on Monday mornings I used sometimes to recollect the same sermons. And T had sometimes considerable movings of affections
HIS YOUTHFUL DAYS. 5
in duties, and much pleasure, and had many thoughts of joining the church. In short, I had a very good outside, and rested entirely on my duties, though I was not sensible of it.
' After Mr. Fiske's death, I proceeded in my learn ing with my brother ; and was still very constant in religious duties, and often wondered at the levity of professors : it was a trouble to me that they were so careless in religious matters. Thus I proceeded a considerable length on a self-righteous foundation ; and should have been entirely lost and undone, had not the mere mercy of God prevented.
'Some time in the beginning of winter, 1738, it pleased God, on one Sabbath-day morning, as I was walking out for some secret duties, as I remember, to give me on a sudden such a sense of my danger and of the wrath of God, that I stood amazed, and my former good frames, that I had pleased myself with, all presently vanished ; and from the view that I had of my sin and vileness, I was much distressed all that day, fearing the vengeance of God would soon overtake me; I was much dejected, and kept much alone, and sometimes begrudged the birds and beasts their happiness, because they were not exposed to eternal misery, as I evidently saw I was. And thus I lived from day to day, being frequently in great distress : sometimes there appeared mountains be fore me to obstruct my hopes of mercy; and the work of conversion appeared so great, I thought I should never be the subject of it : but used, however, to pray and cry to God, and perform other duties with great earnestness, and hoped by some means to make the case better. And though I, hundreds of times, renounced all pretences of any worth in my
6 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERDI
duties, as I thought, even in the season of the per formance of them, and often confessed to God that I deserved nothing for the very best of them, but eternal condemnation ; yet still I had a secret latent hope of recommending myself to God by my religious duties; and when I prayed affectionately, and my heart seemed in some measure to melt, I hoped God would be thereby moved to pity me, my prayers then looked with some appearance of goodness in them, and I seemed to mourn for sin : and then I could, in some measure, venture on the mercy of God in Christ, as I thought; though the preponderating thought and foundation of my hope was some imagination of goodness in my heart-meltings, and flowing of affec tions in duty, and sometimes extraordinary enlarge ments therein.
* Sometime in February, 1738-9, I set apart a day for secret fasting and prayer, and spent the day in almost incessant cries to God for mercy, that he would open my eyes to see the evil of sin, and the way of life by Jesus Christ. And God was pleased that day to make considerable discoveries of my heart to me. But still I trusted in all the duties I performed, though there was no manner of goodness in the duties I then performed, there being no man ner of respect to the glory of God in them, nor any such principle in my heart ; yet God was pleased to make my endeavours that day a means to show me my helplessness in some measure.
' Sometimes I was greatly encouraged, and ima gined that God loved me, and was pleased with me, and thought I should soon be fully reconciled to God ; while the whole was founded on mere pre sumption, arising from enlargement in duty, or
HIS CONVICTIONS OF SIN. 7
flowing of affections, or some good resolutions, and the like. And when, at times, great distress began to arise, on a sight of my vileness, and nakedness, and inability to deliver myself from a sovereign God, I used to put off the discovery, as what I could not bear. Once, I remember, a terrible pang of distress seized me, and the thoughts of renouncing myself, and standing naked before God, stripped of all goodness, were so dreadful to me, that I was ready to say to them, as Felix to Paul, " Go thy way for this time." Thus, though I daily longed for greater conviction of sin, supposing that I must see more of my dreadful state in order to a remedy; yet, when the disco veries of my vile, hellish heart were made to me, the sight was so dreadful, and showed me so plainly my exposedness to damnation, that I could not endure it. I constantly strove after whatever qualifications I imagined others obtained before the reception of Christ, in order to recommend me to his favour. Sometimes I felt the power of a hard heart, and supposed it must be softened before Christ would accept of me ; and when I felt any meltings of heart, I hoped now the work was almost done: and hence, when my distress still remained, I was wont to mur mur at God's dealings with me ; and thought, when others felt their hearts softened, God showed them mercy ; but my distress remained still.
4 Sometimes I grew remiss and sluggish, without any great convictions of sin, for a considerable time together ; but after such a season, convictions some times seized me more violently. One night I re member in particular, when I was walking solitarily abroad, I had opened to me such a view of my sin, that I feared the ground would cleave asunder under
LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD :
my feet, and become my grave, and send my soul quick into hell before I could get home. And though J was forced to go to bed lest my distress should be discovered by others, which I much feared, yet I scarce durst sleep at all ; for I thought it would be a great wonder if I should be out of hell in the morning. And though my distress was sometimes thus great, yet I greatly dreaded the loss of convic tions, and returning back to a state of carnal security, and to my former insensibility of impending wrath ; which made me exceeding exact in my behaviour, lest I should stifle the motions of God's Spirit. When at any time I took a view of my convictions of my own sinfulness, and thought the degree of them to be considerable, I was wont to trust in my convictions ; but this confidence, and the hopes that arose in me from it, of soon making some notable advances towards deliverance, would ease my mind, and I soon became more senseless and remiss : but then again, when I discerned my convictions to grow languid, and I thought them about to leave me, this immediately alarmed and distressed me. Sometimes I expected to take a large step, and get very far to wards conversion, by some particular opportunity or means I had in view.
' The many disappointments, and great distresses and perplexity I met with, put me into a most horri ble frame of contesting with the Almighty ; with an inward vehemence and virulence, finding fault with his ways of dealing with mankind. I found great fault with the imputation of Adam's sin to his pos terity ; and my wicked heart often wished for some other way of salvation than by Jesus Christ. And being like the troubled sea, and my thoughts con-
HIS CONVICTIONS OF SIN.
fused, I used to contrive to escape the wrath of God by some other means, and had strange projections, full of Atheism, contriving to disappoint God's de signs and decrees concerning me, or to escape God's notice, and hide myself from him. But when, upon reflection, I saw these projections were vain, and would not serve me, and that I could contrive nothing for my own relief, this would throw my mind into the most horrid frame, to wish there was no God, or to wish there were some other God that could control him. These thoughts and desires were the secret inclinations of my heart, that were frequently acting before I was aware ; but, alas! they were mine, al though I was affrighted with them when I came to reflect on them: when I considered of it, it distressed me to think, that my heart was so full of enmity against God ; and it made me tremble, lest God's vengeance should suddenly fall upon me. I used before to imagine my heart was not so bad, as the scriptures and some other books represented. Some times I used to take much pains to work it up into a good frame, an humble submissive disposition ; and hoped there was then some goodness in me : but it may be on a sudden, the thoughts of the strictness of the law, or the sovereignty of God, would so irri tate the corruption of my heart, that I had so watched over, and hoped I had brought to a good frame, that it would break over all bounds, and burst forth on all sides, like floods of waters when they break down their dam. But being sensible of the necessity of a deep humiliation in order to a saving union with Christ, I used to set myself to work in my own heart those convictions that were requisite in such a humi liation ; as, a conviction that God would be just if
10 LIFE OF DAVID BRAIXERD :
he cast me off for ever ; and that if ever God should bestow mercy on me, it would be mere grace, though I should be in distress many years first, and be ever so much engaged in duty ; that God was not in the least obliged to pity me the more for all past duties, cries, and tears. These things I strove to my ut most to bring myself to a firm belief of, and hearty assent to ; and hoped that now I was brought off from myself, and truly humbled and bowed to the divine sovereignty ; and was wont to tell God in my prayers, that now I had those very dispositions of soul that he required, and on which he showed mercy to others, and thereupon to beg and plead for mercy to me. But when I found no relief, and was still oppressed with guilt and fears of wrath, my soul was in a tumult, and my heart rose against God, as deal ing hardly with me. Yet then my conscience flew in my face, putting me in mind of my late confession to God of his justice in my condemnation. And this giving me a sight of the badness of my heart, threw me again into distress, and I wished I had watched my heart more narrowly, to keep it from breaking out against God's dealings with me, and I even wished I had not pleaded for mercy on account of my humiliation, because thereby I had lost all my seeming goodness.
* Thus, scores of times, I vainly imagined myself humbled and prepared for saving mercy.
' While I was in this distressed, bewildered, and tumultuous state of mind, the corruption of my heart was especially irritated with these things follow ing:—
' 1. The strictness of the divine law. For I found it was impossible for me, after my utmost pains, to
EXERCISES OF MIND. 11
answer the demands of it. I often made new reso lutions, and as often broke them. I imputed the whole to carelessness, and the want of being more watchful, and used to call myself a fool for my negli gence. But when, upon a stronger resolution, and greater endeavours, and close application of myself to fasting and prayer, I found all attempts fail, then I quarrelled with the law of God, as unreasonably rigid. I thought if it extended only to my outward actions and behaviour I could bear with it ; but I found it condemned me for my evil thoughts, and the sins of my heart, which I could not possibly prevent. I was extremely loath to give up, and own my utter helplessness in this matter: but after repeated disap pointments, thought that, rather than perish I could do a. little more still, especially if such and such cir cumstances might but attend my endeavours and strivings ; I hoped that I should strive more earnestly than ever, if the matter came to extremity, though I never could find the time to do my utmost, in the manner I intended : and this hope of future more favourable circumstances, and of doing something great hereafter, kept me from utter despair in myself, and from seeing myself fallen into the hands of a sovereign God, and dependent on nothing but free and boundless grace.
' 2. Another grievance was, that faith alone was the condition of salvation; and that God would not come down to lower terms, that he would not promise life and salvation upon my sincere and hearty prayers and endeavours. That word, Mark xvi. 16, " He that believeth not, shall be damned," cut off' all hope there : and I found that faith was the sovereign gift of God ; that I could not get it as of myself, and could
12 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD I
not oblige God to bestow it upon me by any of my performances, Eph. ii. 1 — 8. " This/' I was ready to say, "is a hard saying, who can hear it?" I could not bear that all I had done should stand for mere nothing, who had been very conscientious in duty, and had been exceeding religious a great while, and had, as I thought, done much more than many others that had obtained mercy. I confessed indeed the vileness of my duties ; but then, what made them at that time seem vile, was my wandering thoughts in them ; not because I was all over defiled like a devil, and the principle corrupt from whence they flowed, so that I could not possibly do any thing that was good. And therefore I called what I did, by the name of honest, faithful endeavours ; and could not bear it that God had made no promises of salvation to them.
' 3. Another thing was, that I could not find out what faith was ; or what it was to believe, and come to Christ. I read the calls of Christ made to the weary and heavy laden, but could find no way that he directed them to come in. I thought I would gladly come, if I knew how, though the path of duty directed to were ever so difficult. I read Mr. Stod- dart's " Guide to Christ," which I trust was, in the hand of God, the happy means of my conversion, and my heart rose against the author; for though he told me my very heart all along under convictions, and seemed to be very beneficial to me in his direc tions, yet here he failed, he did not tell me any thing I could do that would bring me to Christ, but left me, as it were, with a great gulph between me and Christ, without any direction to get through. For I was not yet effectually and experimentally taught,
EXERCISES OF MIN'D. 13
that there could be no way prescribed, whereby a natural man could, of his own strength, obtain that which is supernatural, and which the highest angel cannot give.
' 4. Another thing that I found a great inward opposition to, was the sovereignty of God. J could not bear that it should be wholly at God's pleasure, to save or damn me just as he would. That passage, Rom. ix. 11 — 23, was a constant vexation to me, especially verse 21. The reading or meditating on this always destroyed my seeming good frames : when I thought I was almost humbled, and almost resigned to God's sovereignty, the reading or think ing on this passage would make my enmity against the sovereignty of God appear. And when I came to reflect on my inward enmity and blasphemy that arose on this occasion, I was the more afraid of God, and driven further from any hopes of reconciliation with him ; and it gave me such a dreadful view of myself, that I dreaded more than ever to see my self in God's hands, and at his sovereign disposal, and it made me more opposite than ever to submit to his sovereignty ; for I thought God designed my damnation.
' All this time the Spirit of God was powerfully at work with me ; and I was inwardly pressed to relin quish all self-confidence, all hopes of ever helping myself by any means whatsoever; and the conviction of my lost estate was sometimes so clear and manifest before my eyes, that it was as if it had been declared to me in so many wrords, " It is done, it is done ; it is for ever impossible to deliver yourself." For about three or four days my soul was thus distressed, espe cially at some turns, when for a few moments I seemed
14 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD:
to myself lost and undone ; but then would shrink back immediately from the sight, because I dared not venture myself into the hands of God, as wholly helpless, and at the disposal of his sovereign plea sure. I dared not see that important truth concern ing myself, that I was " dead in trespasses and sins." But when I had, as it were, thrust away these views of myself at any time, I felt desirous to have the same discoveries of myself again; for I greatly feared being given over of God to final stupidity. When I thought of putting it off to a more convenient season, the conviction was so close and powerful with regard to the present time, that it was the best time, and probably the only time, that I dared not put it off. It was the sight of truth concerning myself, truth respecting my state, as a creature fallen and alienated from God, and that consequently could make no demands on God for mercy, but must sub scribe to the absolute sovereignty of the divine Being ; the sight of the truth, I say, my soul shrank away from, and trembled to think of beholding. Thus, " He that doeth evil," as all unregenerate men continually do, u hates the light of truth," neither cares to come to it, because it will reprove his deeds, and show him his just deserts, John iii. 20. And though some time before I had taken much pains, as I thought, to submit to the sovereignty of God, yet I mistook the thing; and did not once imagine, that seeing and being made experimentally sensible of this truth, which my soul now so much dreaded and trembled at a sense of, was the frame of soul that I had been so earnest in pursuit of hereto fore: for I had ever hoped, that when I had attained to that humiliation which I supposed necessary to go
EXERCISES OF MIND. 15
before faith, then it would not be fair for God to cast me off; but now I saw it was so far from any good ness in me to own myself spiritually dead and desti tute of all goodness, that, on the contrary, my mouth would be for ever stopped by it ; and it looked as dreadful to me, to see myself, and the relation I stood in to God, as a sinner and a criminal, and he a great Judge and Sovereign, as it would be to a poor trembling creature to venture off some high precipice. And hence I put it off for a minute or two, and tried for better circumstances to do it in ; either I must read a passage or two, or pray first, or something of the like nature ; or else put off my sub mission to God's sovereignty with an objection, that I did not know how to submit. But the truth was, I could see no safety in owning myself in the hands of a sovereign God, and confessing that I could lay no claim to any thing better than damnation.
' But after a considerable time spent in such like exercises and distresses, one morning, while I was walking in a solitary place, as usual, I at once saw that all my contrivances and projections to effect or procure deliverance and salvation for myself, were utterly in vain: I was brought quite to a stand, as rinding myself totally lost. I had thought many times before, that the difficulties in my way were very great ; but now I saw, in another and very different light, that it was for ever impossible for me to do any thing towards helping or delivering myself. I then thought of blaming myself, that I had not done more, and been more engaged, while I had opportu nity ; for it seemed now as if the season of doing was for ever over and gone; but I instantly saw, that let me have done what I would, it would not more have
16 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD*.
tended to my helping myself, than what I had done ; that I had made all the pleas I ever could have made to all eternity ; and that all my pleas were vain. The tumult that had been before in my mind was now quieted ; and I was something eased of that distress which I felt, whilst struggling against a sight of my self, and of the divine sovereignty. I had the greatest certainty that my state was for ever miserable, for all that I could do ; and wondered, and was almost astonished, that I had never been sensible of it be fore. In the time while I remained in this state, my notions respecting my duties were quite different from what I had ever entertained in times past. Be fore this, the more I did in duty the more I thought God was obliged to me, or, at least, the more hard I thought it would be for God to cast me off; though at the same time I confessed, and thought I saw that there was no goodness or merit in my duties : but now the more I did in prayer, or any other duty, the more I saw I was indebted to God for allowing me to ask for mercy ; for I saw it was self-interest that led me to pray, and that I had never once prayed from any respect to the glory of God. Now I saw there was no necessary connection between my prayers and the bestowment of divine mercy : that they laid not the least obligation upon God to bestow his grace upon me ; and that there was no more virtue or good ness in them, than there would be in my paddling with my hand in the water, which was the compa rison I had then in my mind ; and this because they were not performed from any love or regard to God. I saw that I had been heaping up my devotions before God, fasting, praying, &cc. pretending, and indeed really thinking, at some times, that I was aim-
EXERCISES OF MIND. 17
ing at the glory of God ; whereas I never once truly intended it, but only my own happiness. I saw that as I had never done any thing for God, T had no claim to lay to any thing from him but perdition, on account of my hypocrisy and mockery. O how dif ferent did my duties now appear from what they used to do ! I used to charge them with sin and imperfection ; but this was only on account of the wanderings and vain thoughts attending them, and not because I had no regard to God in them— for this I thought I had ; but when I saw evidently that I had regard to nothing but self-interest, then they appeared vile mockery of God, self-worship, and a continual course of lies ; so that I saw now, there was something worse had attended my duties than barely a few wanderings ; for the whole was nothing but self-worship, and a horrid abuse of God.
' I continued, as I remember, in this state of mind, from Friday morning till the Sabbath evening fol lowing, July 12, 1739, when I was walking again in the same solitary place, where I was brought to see myself lost and helpless, as was before mentioned : and here, in a mournful melancholy state, was at tempting to pray, but found no heart to engage in that or any other duty ; my former concern and exer cise, and religious affections, were now gone. I thought the Spirit of God had quite left me; but still was not distressed, yet disconsolate, as if there was nothing in heaven or earth could make me happy.
' And having been thus endeavouring to pray,
though being, as I thought, very stupid and senseless
for near half an hour, and by this time the sun was
about half an hour high, as I remember — then, as I
c
18 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD :
was walking in a dark thick grove, unspeakable glory seemed to open.to the view and apprehension of my soul. I do not mean any external brightness, for I saw no such thing ; nor do I intend any imagination of a body of light, somewhere away in the third heavens, or any thing of that nature ; but it was a new inward apprehension or view that I had of God, such as I never had before, nor any thing which had the least resemblance of it. I stood still, and won dered and admired ; I knew that I never had seen before any thing comparable to it for excellency and beauty ; it was widely different from all the concep tions that ever I had had of God or things divine. I had no particular apprehension of any one Person in the Trinity, either the Father, the Son, or the Holy Ghost ; but it appeared to be divine glory that I then beheld ; and my soul rejoiced with joy unspeakable, to see such a God, such a glorious divine Being ; and I was inwardly pleased and satisfied, that he should be God over all for ever and ever. My soul was so captivated and delighted with the excellency, loveliness, greatness, and other perfections of God, that I was even swallowed up in him ; at least to that degree, that I had no thought, as I remember, at first, about my own salvation, and scarce reflected there was such a creature as myself.
' Thus God, I trust, brought me to a hearty dispo sition to exalt him, and set him on the throne, and principally and ultimately to aim at his honour and glory, as King of the universe.
* I continued in this state of inward joy and peace, yet astonishment^ till near dark, without any sensible abatement; and then began to think and examine what I had seen, and felt sweetly composed in my
FINDS PEACE OF MIND. 19
mind all the evening following. I felt myself in a new world, and every thing about me appeared with a different aspect from what it was wont to do.
' At this time, the way of salvation opened to me with such infinite wisdom, suitableness, and excel lency, that I wondered I should ever think of any other way of salvation ; and was amazed that I had not dropped my own contrivances, and complied with this lovely, blessed, and excellent way before. If I could have been saved by my own duties, or any other way that I had formerly contrived, my whole soul would now have refused. I wondered that all the world did not see and comply with this way of salvation, entirely by the righteousness of Christ.
' The sweet relish of what I then felt continued with me for several days, almost constantly, in a greater or less degree ; I could not but sweetly re joice in God, lying down and rising up.'
It is evident that this young man was not an ordi nary Christian. He was called to run a short, but vigorous course of service ; and his preparation for this service was of no common kind. They who have not passed through his conflicts, may feel some surprise at the vivid manner in which he depicts his discovery of the merciful remedy of the gospel. But it must be observed, that there is nothing here which savours of a heated imagination. The struggling mind is assisted in forming just conclusions from scripture. Here is no pretence to any special reve lation of any new truth from God : but " the Spirit helpeth our infirmities ! " And, by his gracious aid, the soul is brought to an entire surrender to the divine will, and to an unlimited admiration of the c 2
20 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERDI
divine glory : the highest state to which mortal man can be raised !
We shall here, for the present, leave this exalted man. He had now attained a composure of mind to which he was before a stranger. He felt himself as in a new world. The divine method and plan of salvation opened before his mind with such infinite wisdom, that he was amazed he should have so long resisted. His whole soul now refused and abhorred those various contrivances, by which he had endea voured to lay claim to some share in the glory of his own salvation; and he ' wondered that all the world did not see and comply with that way of salvation which God had revealed.'
COLLEGE LIFE. 21
CHAPTER II.
His conduct at college, and preparation for the ministry.
IN the autumn of 1739, Mr. Brainerd entered at Yale College, in Newhaven ; and began his academical course, under salutary apprehensions of the tempta tions which were likely to beset him therein.
After he had been a few months at college he caught the measles ; and returned home in conse quence to Haddam. His life was in imminent dan ger ; but he was spared for future services.
On his return to college, his ardour in study was such, that it injured his health, and ' greatly wronged/ to use his own words, * the activity and vigour of his spiritual life/ He had enjoyed much of the pre sence of God ; and, in his sickness, had rather longed for death than dreaded its approach. Such was the elevation of his piety, that he could say of certain states of his mind, ' Oh, how much more refreshing was this one season, than all the pleasures and delights that earth can afford ! ' Yet, though he could continue to say of the habit of his mind, " In the multitude of my thoughts within me, thy comforts
22 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD :
delight my soul," he felt and lamented the deadening influence of ambition and eagerness in his studies.
In the autumn of 1740, his severe application had reduced him to such a state of debility, that his tutor advised him to retire from college, and to disengage his mind, for a season, from its customary pursuits. He recovered strength by this suspension of his labour, and returned to college in the beginning of November.
During this retirement, and for some time after the renewal of his studies, he had much enjoyment and elevation of soul. God was his portion; and to walk with him was his habit and his joy. While he deeply felt the depravity of his fallen nature, and the malignity and odionsness of sin, he could exult in the grace of his heavenly Father, and felt an ardent love to all mankind. This was as a fire in his bosom. He longed earnestly that all men should enjoy what he himself enjoyed.
In the prospect of his return to college on his recovery, he trembled at the thought of those snares which had before proved injurious to his mind ; and, so keen was his sensibility on this head, that he felt as though he would much rather die than return. His ' old temptation/ as he called it — ambition in his studies — does not appear, indeed, to have re sumed its former influence over him, though he did not wholly escape.
A great revival of religion taking place, in the early part of 1741, throughout the college, Brainerd was much animated and encouraged thereby.
President Edwards remarks, that this revival of religion was, for a time, very great and general at Newhaven, and that the college had no small share
COLLEGE LIFE. 23
therein. That society was much reformed: most of the students became thoughtful, and many of them truly religious. Much of the profession and emotion of those days ended, indeed, as in many similar cases, in extravagance and enthusiasm; but the most happy and permanent effects continued on the minds of many members of the college.
The danger, however, attending such a state of things is strikingly manifested in its effects on Brai- nerd's mind, He was yet young, and his judgment but little exercised. Though there is no reason to doubt but that he was still sincere and elevated in his piety ; * yet/ says his biographer, ' he was after wards abundantly sensible that his religious affec tions at that time were not free from a corrupt mix ture, nor his conduct to be acquitted from many things that were imprudent and blameable ; which he greatly lamented himself, and was willing that others should forget, that none might make an ill improvement of such an example/
The truth of the Christian's character is very much discovered by the manner in which he views his own imperfections. In this respect, Brainerd displays the ingenuousness of an humbled and gracious mind. And, as the biography of fallen but renewed man will warn as well as encourage, we shall not withhold this instructive part of Brainerd's history.
From the end of January 1741, to the end of February 1742, he kept a regular diary, containing a very particular narrative of what passed from day to day. When he lay on his death-bed, he directed this diary to be destroyed ; and, not being then able to write himself, he desired a friend to record at the beginning of the part of his diary immediately fol-
24 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD :
lowing, that the preceding part was lost ; but that if any persons should be desirous of knowing how he had lived during that period, they might consult the earlier part of that diary, where they would find something of a specimen of his ordinary manner of living during the thirteen months preceding; 'ex cepting/ as he added, with ingenuous compunction, ( that here he was more refined from some imprudences and indecent heats, than there.'
As the imprudences thus alluded to led to his expulsion from the college, it may be well to state the affair in the words of his biographer.
' It could not be otherwise, than that one, whose heart had been so prepared and drawn to God as Mr. Brainerd's had been, should be mightily enlarged, animated, and engaged at the sight of such an alte ration made in the college, the town, and land ; and so great an appearance of men's reforming their lives, and turning from their profaneness and immorality, to seriousness and concern for their salvation, and of religion's reviving and flourishing almost everywhere. But as an intemperate imprudent zeal, and a degree of enthusiasm, soon crept in and mingled itself with that revival of religion ; and so great and general an awakening being quite a new thing in the land, at least as to all the living inhabitants of it ; neither people nor ministers had learned thoroughly to distinguish between solid religion and its delusive counterfeits: even many ministers of the gospel, of long standing and the best reputation, were for a time overpowered with the glaring appearances of the latter; and there fore, surely it was not to be wondered at that Brai- nerd should be so ; who was riot only young in years, but very young in experience, and had had but little
EXPULSION FROM COLLEGE. 25
opportunity for the study of divinity, and still less for observation of the circumstances and events of such an extraordinary state of things. A man must divest himself of all reason to make strange of it.
' In these disadvantageous circumstances, Brainerd had the unhappiness to have a tincture of that intem perate indiscreet zeal which was at that time too prevalent; and was led, from his high opinion of others that he looked upon as better than himself, into such errors as were really contrary to the habitual temper of his mind.
1 One instance of his misconduct at that time gave great offence to the rulers of the college, even to that degree that they expelled him the society ; which it is necessary should here be particularly related, with its circumstances.
' Several religious students associated themselves one with another for mutual conversation and assist ance ; who were wont freely to open themselves one to another, as special and intimate friends. Brainerd was one of this company. And it once happened, that he and two or three more of these his intimate friends were in the hall together, after Mr. Whit- telsey, one of the tutors, had prayed there with the scholars ; no other person now remaining in the hall, but Brainerd and these his companions. Mr. Whit- telsey having been unusually pathetic in his prayer, one of Brainerd's friends on this occasion asked him what he thought of Mr. Whittelsey : he made answer, ' He has no more grace than this chair/ One of the freshmen happening at that time to be near the hall (though not in the room) overheard those words of his. Though he heard no name mentioned, and knew not who the person was that was thus cen-
26 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD:
sured, he informed a certain woman, withal telling her of his own suspicion, viz. that he believed Brainerd said this of some one or other of the rulers of the college. Whereupon she went and informed the rector, who sent for this freshman and examined him ; and he told the rector the words that he heard Brainerd utter, and informed him who were in the room with him at that time : upon which the rector sent for them. They were very backward to inform against their friend, of that which they looked upon as private conversation ; and especially as none but they had heard or knew of whom he had uttered those words : yet the rector compelled them to declare what he said, and of whom he said it.
* Brainerd looked on himself as greatly abused in the management of this affair; and thought that what he said in private wras injuriously extorted from his friends ; and that then it was injuriously required of him, as it was wont to be of such as had been guilty of some open notorious crime, to make a public confession, and to humble himself before the whole College, in the hall, for what he had said only in private conversation. Not complying with this de mand ; and having gone once to the separate meet ing at Newhaven, when forbidden by the rector ; and also having been accused by one person of saying concerning the rector, that he wondered he did not expect to drop down dead for fining the scholars who followed Mr. Tennent to Milford, though there was not proof of it (and Mr. Brainerd ever professed that he did not remember his saying any thing to that purpose): for these things he was expelled the College.
'How far the circumstances and exigencies of that
EXPULSION FROM COLLEGE. 27
day might justify such great severity in the governors of the college, I will not undertake to determine ; it being my aim, not to bring reproach on the authority of the college, but only to do justice to the memory of a person, who I think to be eminently one of those whose memory is blessed. The reader will see, ia the sequel of the story of Mr. Brainerd's Life, what his own thoughts afterwards were of his behaviour in these things, and in how Christian a manner he con ducted himself, with respect to this affair : though he ever, as long as he lived, supposed himself much abused, in the management of it, and in what he suf fered in it.'
In order to bring this subject under view at once, we shall anticipate a little the course of the narra tive, and extract the document to which the president alludes. It was presented by him to the rector and trustees of the college, on the loth of September, 1743, about a twelvemonth after his expulsion. He had, during that interval, entered on his missionary life, under the correspondents in America of the Society in Scotland for propagating Christian Know ledge.
In May preceding, he had waited on a council of ministers convened at Hartford, and stated to them the proceedings of the rector and tutors of Yale College against him. The ministers, in consequence, interceded for him with the rector and trustees ; and entreated them, but without success, to restore him to his privileges in college.
On occasion of a visit, a few months after, to New- haven, he records the following circumstances in his diary : —
' Wednesday, Sept. 14, 1743.— This day I ought to
28 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD :
have taken my degree ; this being commencement day : but God sees fit to deny it me. And though I was greatly afraid of being overwhelmed with per plexity and confusion, when I should see my class mates take theirs ; yet, in the very season of it, God enabled me with calmness and resignation to say, The will of the Lord be done. Indeed, through divine goodness, I have scarcely felt my mind so calm, sedate, and comfortable for some time. I have long feared this season ; and expected my humility, meek ness, patience, and resignation, would be much tried ; but found much more pleasure and divine comfort than I expected.
* Thursday, Sept. 15. By the advice of Christian friends, I offered the following reflections in writing to the rector and trustees of the college ; which are for substance the same that I had freely offered to the rector before, and entreated him to accept : and this I did, that, if possible, I might cut off all occa sion of stumbling and offence from those that seek occasion. What I offered is as follows :
* * Whereas, I have said before several persons, concerning Mr. Whittelsey, one of the tutors of Yale College, that I did not believe he had any more grace than the chair I then leaned upon ; I humbly confess, that herein I have sinned against God, and acted contrary to the rules of his word, and have injured Mr. Whittelsey. I had no right to make thus free with his character; and had no just reason to say what I did concerning him. My fault herein was the more aggravated, in that I spoke concerning one that was so much my superior; and one that I was obliged to treat with special respect and honour, by reason of the relation I stood in to him in the college.
EXPULSION FROM COLLEGE. 29
Such a manner of behaviour, I confess, did not be come a Christian : it was taking too much upon me ; and did not savour of that humble respect that I ought to have expressed towards Mr. Whittelsey. I have long since been convinced of the falseness of those apprehensions by which I then justified such a conduct. I have often reflected on this act with grief; I hope, on account of the sin of it; and am willing to lie low and be abased before God and man for it; and humbly ask the forgiveness of the governors of the college, and of the whole society, but of Mr. Whittelsey in particular. And whereas I have been accused by one person for saying, con cerning the reverend rector of Yale College, that I wondered he did not expect to drop down dead for fining the scholars that followed Mr. Tennent to Milford ; I seriously profess that I do not remember my saying any thing to this purpose. But if I did, and I am not certain, I utterly condemn it, and detest all such kind of behaviour ; and especially in an undergraduate towards the rector. And I now appear to judge and condemn myself for going once to the separate meeting in Newhaven, a little before I was expelled, though the rector had refused to give me leave. For this I humbly ask the rector's for giveness. And, whether the governors of the college shall ever see cause to remove the academical cen sure I lie under or no, or to admit me to the privi leges I desire ; yet I am willing to appear, if they think fit, openly to own, and to humble myself for those things I have herein confessed."
The governors of the college were so far satisfied by this confession, that they appeared willing to admit Mr. Brainerd again into college ; but they
30 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD :
would not give him his degree till he should have remained there at least a twelvemonth. The cor respondents of the society, to whom he was now engaged, not consenting to this condition, he did not return. He wished his degree, under the idea that it might tend to his becoming more extensively useful ; but when denied his wish, he betrayed no disappoint ment or resentment.
Indeed it is manifest, as he himself professes, that God had given him grace to submit to any thing consistent with truth, for the sake of peace, and that his conduct might not be a stumbling-block and of fence to others.
His biographer makes the following pertinent ob servations on this painful event of Brainerd's Life.
* Nothing so puffs men up with a high conceit of their own wisdom, holiness, eminency, and suffi ciency, and makes them so bold, forward, assuming, and arrogant, as ENTHUSIASM. But Mr. Brainerd's religion constantly disposed him to an abasing sense of his own sinfulness, deficiency, unprofitableness, and ignorance ; looking on himself as worse than others ; disposing him to universal benevolence and meekness, and in honour to prefer others, and to treat all with kindness and respect. Indeed, at the time before mentioned, Mrhen he had not learned well to distinguish between enthusiasm and solid religion, he, joining and keeping company with some that were tinged with no small degree of the former, for a season partook with them in a degree of their dis positions and behaviours : but it is not at all to be wondered at, that a youth and a young convert, one that had his heart so swallowed up in religion, and so earnestly desired the flourishing of it, but had had
REFLECTIONS. 31
so little opportunity for reading, observation, and ex perience, should for a while be dazzled and deceived with the glaring appearances of that mistaken de votion and zeal ; especially considering what the extraordinary circumstances of that day were. He told me on his death-bed, that he was out of his ele ment and did violence to himself, while complying, in his conduct, with persons of a fierce and impru dent zeal, from his great veneration of some that he looked upon much better than himself. So that it would be very unreasonable that his error, at that time, should be esteemed a just ground of prejudice against the whole of his religion ; especially consid ering how greatly his mind was soon changed, and how exceedingly he afterward lamented his error, and abhorred himself for his imprudent zeal and miscon duct at that time, even almost to the overbearing and breaking the strength of his nature ; and how much of a Christian spirit he showed in his condemning himself for that misconduct/
* What has been now mentioned of Mr. Brainerdis so far from being a just ground of prejudice against what is related in the following account of his life, that, if duly considered, it will render the history the more serviceable. For, by his thus joining for a sea son with enthusiasts, he had a more full and intimate acquaintance with what belonged to that sort of re ligion, and so was under better advantages to judge of the difference between that and the other, which he finally approved, and strove to his utmost to pro mote, in opposition to it : and hereby the reader has the more to demonstrate to him, that Mr. Brainerd, in his testimony against it, and the spirit and beha viour of those that are influenced by it, speaks from
32 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD :
impartial conviction, and not from prejudice ; because therein he openly condemns his own former opinion and conduct, on account of which he had greatly suffered from his opposers, and for which some con tinued to reproach him as long as he lived.
But we must resume the narrative. In the spring of 1742, after his expulsion, he took up his residence with the Rev. Mr. Mills of Ripton, in order to pre pare himself for the ministry.
Here he began that part of his diary to which he referred on his death-bed; and of which we shall now give t e greater part.
' Thursday, April 1, 1742. I seem to be declining with respect to my life and warmth in divine things ; had not so free access to God in prayer of late as usual. Oh that God would humble me deeply in the dust before him ! I deserve hell every day for not loving my Lord more, who has I trust " loved me, and given himself for me ; " and every time I am enabled to exercise any grace renewedly, I am re- newedly indebted to the God of all grace for special assistance. " Where then is boasting?" Surely "it is excluded," when we think how we are dependent on God for the being and every act of grace. Oh, if ever I get to heaven, it will be because God will? and nothing else ; for I never did any thing of my self, but depart from God ! My soul will be asto nished at the unsearchable riches of divine grace, when I arrive at the mansions which the blessed Saviour is gone before to prepare.
' Friday, April 2. In the afternoon I felt some what happy in secret prayer, much resigned, calm, and serene. What are all the storms of this lower world, if Jesus by his Spirit does but come walking
HIS DIARY. 33
on the seas ! Some time past, I had much pleasure in the prospect of the heathen's being brought home to Christ, and desired that the Lord would employ me in that work : — but now my soul more frequently desires to die, and to be with Christ. Oh ! that my soul were wrapt up in divine love, and my longing desires after God increased ! In the evening was refreshed in prayer, with the hopes of the advance ment of Christ's kingdom in the world.
4 Saturday, April 3. Was very much amiss this morning, and had an ill night last night. I thought, if God would take me to himself now, my soul would exceedingly rejoice. Oh, that I may be always hum ble and resigned to God, and that he would cause my soul to be more fixed on himself, that I may be more fitted both for doing and suffering !
' Lord's-day, April 4. My heart was wandering and lifeless. In the evening, God gave me faith in prayer, and made my soul melt in some measure, and gave me to taste a divine sweetness. Blessed Lord ! let me climb up near to thee, and love, and long, and plead, and wrestle with thee, and pant for de liverance from the body of sin and death. — Alas ! my soul mourned to think that I should ever lose sight of its beloved again. "Oh! come, Lord Jesus. Amen.'"
On the evening of the next day, he complains that he seemed to be void of all relish of divine things ; felt much of the prevalence of corruption, and saw in himself a disposition to all manner of sin ; which brought a very great gloom on his mind, and cast him down into the depths of melancholy ; so that he speaks of himself as astonished, amazed, having no comfort, being filled with horror, seeing no comfort in heaven or earth. D
34 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD I
' Tuesday, April 6. I walked out this morning to the same place where I was last night, and felt some what as I did then; but was in measure relieved by reading some passages in my diary, and seemed to feel as if I might pray to the great God again with freedom ; but was suddenly struck with a damp, from the sense I had of my own vileness. Then I cried to God to wash my soul, and cleanse me from my ex ceeding filthiness, to give me repentance and pardon; and prayer began to be truly delightful. I could then think of undergoing the greatest sufferings in the cause of Christ with pleasure ; and found myself willing, if God should so order it, to suffer banish ment from my native land, among the heathen, that I might do something for their soul's salvation, in distresses and deaths of any kind. Then God gave me to wrestle earnestly for others, for the kingdom of Christ in the world, and for dear Christian friends. I felt weaned from the world, and from my own re putation amongst men, willing to be despised, and to be a gazing-stock for the world to behold. It is impossible for me to express how I then felt: I had not much joy, but some sense of the majesty of God» which made me as it were tremble: I saw myself mean and vile, which made me more willing that God should do what he would with me ; it was all infi nitely reasonable.
' Monday, April 12. This morning the Lord was pleased to lift up the light of his countenance upon me in secret prayer, and made the season very pre cious to my soul. And though I have been so de pressed of late, respecting my hopes of future ser- viceableness in the cause of God; yet now I had much encouragement respecting that matter. I was
HIS DIARY. 35
specially assisted to intercede and plead for poor souls, and for the enlargement of Christ's kingdom in the world, and for special grace for myself, to fit me for special services. I felt exceedingly calm, and quite resigned to God respecting my future employ ment, when and where he pleased : my faith lifted me above the world, and removed all those moun tains that I could not look over of late. I thought I wanted not the favour of man to lean upon, for I knew Christ's favour was infinitely better, and that it was no matter when, nor where, nor how Christ should send me, nor what trials he should still exercise me with, if I might but be prepared for his work and will. I now found sweetly revived in my mind the wonderful discovery of infinite wisdom in all the dispensations of God towards me, which I had a little before I met with my great trial at college ; every thing appeared full of the wisdom of God.
1 Wednesday, April 14. My soul longed for com munion with Christ, and for the mortification of in dwelling corruption, especially spiritual pride. There is a welcome day coming, when " the weary will be at rest!" My soul has enjoyed much comfort this day in the hopes of its speedy arrival.
* Lord's-day, April 18. Retired early this morn ing into the woods for prayer; had the assistance of God's Spirit, and faith in exercise, and was enabled to plead with fervency for the advancement of Christ's kingdom in the world, and to intercede for dear absent friends. At noon, God enabled me to wrestle with him, and to feel, as I trust, the power of divine love in prayer. At night, saw myself in finitely indebted to God, and had a view of my
D 2
36 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERDI
shortcomings ; it seemed to me that I had done, as it were, nothing for God, and that I never had lived to him more than a few hours of my life.
' Monday, April 19. I set apart this day for fast ing and prayer to God for his grace, especially to prepare me for the work of the ministry, to give me divine aid and direction in my preparations for that great work, and in his own time to " send me into his harvest." Accordingly, in the morning, endea voured to plead for the divine presence for the day, and not without some life. In the forenoon, I felt a power of intercession for precious immortal souls, and for the advancement of the kingdom of my dear 'Lord and Saviour in the world ; and withal, a most sweet resignation, and even consolation and joy, in the thoughts of suffering hardships, dis tresses, and even death itself, in the promotion of it; and had special enlargement in pleading for the enlightening and conversion of the poor heathen. In the afternoon, " God was with me of a truth." Oh, it was blessed company indeed ! God enabled me so to agonize in prayer that I was quite wet with sweat, though in the shade, and the wind cool. My soul was drawn out very much for the world : I grasped for multitudes of souls. I think I had more en largement for sinners than for the children of God ; though I felt as if I could spend my life in cries for both.
' Tuesday, April 20. This day I am twenty-four years of age. O how much mercy have I received the year past ! How often has God " caused his goodness to pass before me." And how poorly have I answered the vows I made this time twelvemonth, to be wholly the Lord's, to be for ever devoted to
HIS DIARY. 37
his service ! The Lord help me to live more to his glory for time to come. This has been a sweet, a happy day to me : blessed be God. I think my soul was never so drawn out in intercession for others, as it has been this night. Was enabled to plead fervently with the Lord to-night for my enemies. I longed to live to God, and to be altogether devoted to him. I wanted to wear out my life in his service, and for his glory.'
The frame of mind and exercises of soul which he expresses the several days next following, are much of the same kind with those expressed the days past.
' Lord's-day, April 25. This morning spent about two hours in secret duties, and was enabled more than ordinarily to agonize for immortal souls. Felt much pressed now, as frequently of late, to plead for the meekness and calmness of the Lamb of God in my soul ; through divine goodness felt much of it this morning. It is a sweet disposition, heartily to forgive all injuries done us ; to wish our greatest enemies as well as we do our own souls. Blessed Jesus! may I daily be more and more conformed to thee. At night was exceedingly melted with divine love, and had some feeling sense of the blessedness of the upper world. Those words dwelt upon my mind with much sweetness : " They go from strength to strength, every one of them in Zion appeareth be fore God." Oh, the near access that God sometimes gives us in our addresses to him ! This may well be termed appearing before God: it is so indeed, in the true spiritual sense, and in the sweetest sense.— I think I have not had such power of intercession these many months, both for God's children, and for
38 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD '.
dead sinners, as I have had this evening. I wished and longed for the coming of my dear Lord : I longed to join the angelic hosts in praises, wholly free from imperfection. Oh, the blessed moment hastens • All I want is to be more holy, more like my dear Lord. Oh, for sanctification ! My very soul pants for the complete restoration of the blessed image of my adored Saviour ; that I may be fit for the blessed enjoyments and employments of the heavenly world.
' Monday, April 26. Continued in a sweet frame of mind ; but in the afternoon felt something of spi ritual pride stirring. God was pleased to make it an humbling season at first; though afterwards he gave me comfort. Oh, my soul exceedingly longs for that blessed state of perfection of deliverance from all sin ! At night, God enabled me to give my soul up to him, to cast myself upon him, to be ordered and disposed of according to his sovereign pleasure ; and I enjoyed great peace and consolation in so doing. My soul took great delight in God to-night: my thoughts freely and sweetly centered in him. Oh, that I could spend every moment of my life to his glory !
' Tuesday, April 27. Retired pretty early for secret devotion ; and in prayer God was pleased to pour such ineffable comforts into my soul, that I could do nothing for some time but say over and over, " Oh, my dear Saviour ! Oh, my blessed Sa viour, whom have I in heaven but thee ; and there is none upon earth that I desire besides thee ! " If I had had a thousand lives, my soul would gladly hare laid them all down at once to have been with Christ.
HIS DIARY. 39
* Wednesday, April 28. Withdrew to my usual place of retirement in great peace and tranquillity, and spent about two hours in secret duties. I felt much as I did yesterday morning, only weaker and more overcome. I seemed to depend wholly on my dear Lord, and to be entirely weaned from all other dependences. I knew not what to say to my God, could only lean on his bosom, as it were, and breathe out my desires after a perfect conformity to him in all things. Thirsting desires, and insatiable long ings possessed my soul after perfect holiness. God was so precious to my soul, that the world, with all its enjoyments, was infinitely vile. I had no more value for the favour of men, than for pebbles. The Lord was my ALL ; and He over-ruled all ; which greatly delighted me. I think my faith and depen dence on God scarcely ever rose so high. I saw him such a fountain of goodness, that it seemed impossible I should distrust him again, or be any way anxious about any thing that should happen to me. I now enjoyed great satisfaction in praying for absent friends, and for the enlargement of Christ's kingdom in the world. Much of the power of these divine enjoyments remained with me through the day. In the evening my heart seemed tenderly to melt, and I trust was really humbled for indwelling corrup tion : I " mourned like a dove." I felt that all my unhappiness arose from my being a sinner ; for with resignation I could bid welcome all other trials ; but sin hung heavy upon me ; for God dis covered to me the corruption of my heart. I went to bed with heaviness, because I was a great sin ner ; though I did not in the least doubt of God's love. Oh that God would " purge away my dross,
40 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD :
and take away my tin," and make me seven times refined !
* Lord's-day, May 2. God was pleased this morn ing to give the light of his countenance. I withdrew to my usual place of retirement, and mourned after my blessed Lord: spent the day in fasting and prayer. God gave me much power of wrestling for his cause and kingdom : and it was a happy day to my soul. God was with me all the day, and I was more above the world than ever in my life.'
Through the remaining part of this week, he complains almost every day of desertion, and inward trials and conflicts, attended with dejection of spirit; but yet speaks of times of relief and sweetness, and daily refreshing visits of the divine Spirit, affording special assistance and comfort, and enabling, at some times, to much fervency and enlargement in religious duties.
' Lord's-day, March 9. I think I never felt so much of the sinful pride of my heart, as well as the stub bornness of my will before. Oh dreadful ! what a vile wretch I am ! I could not submit to be nothing, and to lie down in the dust. Oh that God would humble me in the dust. I felt myself such a sinner all day, that I had scarce any comfort. Oh when shall I be " delivered from the body of this death !" I greatly feared, lest, through stupidity and careless ness, I should lose the benefit of these trials. Oh that they might be sanctified to my soul. Nothing seemed to touch me except this, that I was a sinner. Had fervency and refreshment in social prayer in the evening.
4 Thursday, May 13. Saw so much of the wicked ness of my heart that I longed to get away from my-
HIS DIARY. 41
self. I never before thought there was so much spiritual pride in my soul : I felt almost pressed to death with my own vileness. Oh, what a body of death is there in me ! Lord, deliver my soul. I could not find any convenient place for retirement, and was greatly exercised. Rode to Hertford in the afternoon : had some refreshment and comfort in religious exercises with Christian friends ; but longed for more retirement. The closest walk with God is the sweetest heaven that can be enjoyed on earth.
* Friday, May 14. Waited on a council of ministers convened at Hertford, and spread before them the treatment I had met with from the rector and tutors of Yale College ; who thought it adviseable to inter cede for me with the rector and trustees, and to en treat them to restore me to my former privileges iti college. After this, spent some time in religious ex ercises with Christian friends/
The next fortnight he spent at Hebron, Lebanon, Norwich, and various places. He complains still of dulness and desertion, and expresses a sense of his vileness, and a longing to hide himself in some cave or den of the earth : yet he speaks of some intervals of comfort and soul-refreshment each day.
* Tuesday, June 1. Had much of the presence of God in family prayer, and some comfort in secret. I was greatly refreshed from the word of God this morning, which appeared exceeding sweet to me: some things that appeared mysterious were opened to me. Oh that the kingdom of the dear Saviour might come with power, and the waters of the sanc tuary spread far and wide for the healing of the na tions! — Came to Ripton ; but was very weak. How-
42 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERDI
ever, being visited by a number of young people in the evening, I prayed with them.
' Saturday, June 12. Spent much time in prayer this morning, and enjoyed much nearness. Felt in satiable longings after God most of the day: I won dered how poor souls do to live that have no God. The world, with all its enjoyments, quite vanished. I see myself very helpless ; but I have a blessed God to go to. I longed exceedingly " to be dissolved, and to be with Christ, to behold his glory." Oh ! my weary soul longs to arrive at my Father's house.
* Monday, June 14. Felt something of the sweet ness of communion with God, and the constraining force of his love : how admirably it captivates the soul, and makes all the desires and affections to cen tre in God ! I set apart this day for secret fasting and prayer, to entreat God to direct arid bless me with regard to the great work of preaching the gos pel: and that the Lord would return tome, and show me the light of his countenance. Had little life and power in the forenoon : near the middle of the afternoon, God enabled me to wrestle ardently in in tercession for absent friends ; but just at night, the Lord visited me marvellously in prayer. I think my soul never was in such an agony before : I felt no restraint, for the treasures of divine grace were opened to me.
* Tuesday, June 15. Had the most ardent longings after God that ever I felt in my life: at noon, in my secret retirement I could do nothing but tell my dear Lord, in a sweet calm, that he knew I longed for nothing but himself, nothing but holiness ; that he had given me these desires, and he only could give me the thing desired. I never seemed to be
HIS DIARY. 43
so unhinged from myself, and to be so wholly devoted to God. My heart was swallowed up in God most of the day. In the evening I had such a view of the soul's being as it were enlarged, to contain more holiness, that my soul seemed ready to separate from my body in order to obtain it.
* Friday, June 18. Considering my great unfitness for the work of the ministry, my present deadness, and total inability to do any thing for the glory of God ; feeling myself very helpless, and at a great loss what the Lord would have me to do; I set apart this day for prayer, but was amazingly deserted most of the day : yet I found God graciously near ; once in particular, while I was pleading for more compassion for immortal souls, my heart seemed to be opened at once, and I was enabled to cry with great ardency for a few minutes. Oh, I was distressed, to think that I should offer such dead cold services to the liv ing God ! My soul seemed to breathe after holiness, a life of constant devotedness to God. But I am almost lost sometimes in the pursuit of this blessed ness, and ready to sink, because I continually fall short and miss of my desire. Oh that the Lord would help me to hold out yet a little while, till the happy hour of deliverance comes !
' Tuesday, June 22. In the morning, spent about two hours in prayer and meditation, with consider able delight. Towards night, felt my soul go out in longing desires after God, in secret retirement. In the evening, was sweetly composed and resigned to God's will ; was enabled to leave myself and all my concerns with him, and to have my whole dependence upon him. My secret retirement was very refreshing to my soul : it appeared such a happiness to have
44 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD'.
God for my portion, that I had rather be any other creature in this lower creation, than not come to the enjoyment of God. I had rather be a beast than a man without God, if I were to live here to eternity. Lord, endear thyself more to me ! '
In his diary for the next seven days, he expresses a variety of exercises of mind. He speaks of great longings after God and holiness, and earnest desires for the conversion of others, of fervency in prayer, and power to wrestle with God, and of composure, comfort, and sweetness, from time to time ; but ex presses a sense of the vile abomination of his heart, and bitterly complains of his barrenness, and the pressing body of death ; and says he " saw clearly, that whatever he enjoyed, better than hell, was free grace." Complains of his being exceeding low, much below the character of a child of God; and is some times very disconsolate and dejected.
* Wednesday, June 30. Spent this day alone in the woods, in fasting and prayer, and underwent the most dreadful conflicts. I saw myself so vile, that I was ready to say, " I shall now perish by the hand of Saul." I thought, and almost concluded, I had no power to stand for the cause of God, but was almost afraid of the shaking of a leaf. Spent almost the whole day in prayer, incessantly. I could not bear to think of Christians showing me any respect. I almost despaired of doing any service in the world. I could not feel any hope or comfort respecting the heathen, which used to afford me some refreshment in the darkest hours of this nature. I spent away the day in the bitterness of my soul. Near night I felt a little better ; and afterwards enjoyed some sweetness in secret pra}rer.
HIS DIARY. 45
' Thursday, July 1. Had some sweetness in prayer this morning.— Felt exceeding happy in secret prayer to-night, and desired nothing so ardently as that God should do with me just as he pleased.
' Saturday, July 3. My heart seemed again to sink. The disgrace I was laid under at college seemed to damp me, as it opens the mouths of opposers. I had no refuge but in God only. Blessed be his name, that I may go to him at all times, and find him a pre sent help.
* Thursday, July 22. Journeying from Southbury to Ripton, 1 called at a house by the way, where, being very kindly entertained and refreshed, I was filled with amazement and shame, that God should stir up the hearts of any to show so much kindness to one so unworthy. I was made sensible, in some measure, how exceeding vile it is, not to be wholly devoted to God. I wondered that God would suffer any of his creatures to feed and sustain me from time to time.'
In the preceding extracts, the reader will see that Brainerd's mind was training for his future work. Neither his spiritual distresses nor comforts were of an ordinary kind. ' My life/ he said of himself, ' is a constant mixture of consolations and conflicts, and will be so till I arrive at the world of spirits.' He was an acute and vigilant detector of the depraved workings of his fallen nature. By reason of use, he had, in an eminent degree, his senses exercised, to discern between good and evil ; and his feelings were singularly alive to their presence and influence.
His Journal abounds in passages similar to those which we have extracted ; and which indicate, like
46 LIFE OF DAVID BRA1NERD:
them, the alternations of sorrow and of joy. Christians of less acute sensibilities, and of a lower standard of devotion, may wonder at his expressions, at one time, of deep self-abhorrence, and, at another, of almost seraphic ardour and love. But they arose from that vivid impression which was made on his mind by the sight of his disease and of his remedy. However his natural melancholy might heighten the sense of his vileness, yet all his views were, in prin ciple, perfect^ rational and scriptural ; and led him to exclaim with the apostle, under similar discove ries of the malignity and of the cure of sin, " O wretched man that I am ! who shall deliver me from the body of this death ? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord !"
His complaints are grounded on his seeming, at times, to lose all relish of divine things — his feeling much of the prevalence of corruption, and a dispo sition to all manner of sin — and his being diverted from the business of religion, by weakness of body, and his necessary affairs. These things frequently brought a great gloom on his mind : so that he some times speaks of himself as filled with horror, seeing no comfort in heaven or earth ; and, at others, as longing to hide himself in some cave or den of the earth.
Yet these conflicts were beneficial to his mind, and were relieved by many consolations. His heart was evidently engaged in promoting the glory of God, as his great end and object in the world, while he com plained of desertion and want of fervour in religion. He was learning, as he expressed it, that he was like a little helpless infant cast out into the open field. He had often great refreshments of spirit, and fer-
HIS DIARY. 47
vour and enlargement of mind in his duties : and not un frequently, as we have seen, remarkable elevation and rapture of holy joy ; and was led out into the most earnest wrestlings and prayer, for his own sanc- tification, and for the enlargement of Christ's king dom. So intense, at times, was the earnestness of his prayers, that his body, covered with perspiration, though in the cool of the early morning or of the evening, attested the ardour of his soul.
' Thursday, July 29,1742. Was examined by the Association met at Danbury, as to my learning, and also my experience in religion, and received a license from them to preach the gospel of Christ. Afterwards felt much devoted to God ; joined in prayer with one of the ministers, my peculiar friend, in a convenient place ; went to bed, resolving to live devoted to God all my days.
' Friday, July 30. Rode from Danbury to South- bury; preached there from 1 Pet. iv. 8. Had much of the comfortable presence of God in the exer cise. I seemed to have power with God in prayer, and power to get hold of the hearts of the people in preaching.
' Thursday, August 12. This morning and last night was exercised with sore inward trials; I had no power to pray ; but seemed shut out from God. I had in a great measure lost my hopes of God's sending me among the heathen afar off, and of seeing them flock home to Christ. I saw so much of my own vileness, that I appeared worse to myself than any devil. I wondered that God would let me live, and wondered that people did not stone me, much more that they would ever hear me preach. It seemed as
48 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD :
though I never could nor should preach any more ; yet about nine or ten o'clock the people came over, and I was forced to preach. And blessed be God, he gave me his presence and Spirit in prayer and preaching : so that I was much assisted, and spake with power from Job xiv. 14. Some Indians cried out in great distress, and all appeared greatly con cerned. After we had prayed and exhorted them to seek the Lord with constancy, and hired an English woman to keep a kind of school among them, we came away about one o'clock, and came to Judea, about fifteen or sixteen miles. There God was pleased to visit my soul with much comfort. Blessed be the Lord for all I meet with.
' Lord's day, August 13. Felt much comfort and devotedness to God this day. At night, it was re freshing to get alone with God, and pour out my soul before him. Oh, who can conceive the sweetness of communion with the blessed God, but those that have experience of it ! Glory to God for ever, that I may taste of heaven below.
' Tuesday, August 17. Exceedingly depressed in spirit ; it cuts and wounds my heart to think how much self-exaltation, spiritual pride, and warmth of temper, I have formerly had intermingled with my endeavours to promote God's work : and sometimes I long to lie down at the feet of opposers, and con fess what a poor imperfect creature I have been, and still am. Oh, the Lord forgive me, and make me for the future " wise as a serpent, and harmless as a dove ! " — Afterwards enjoyed considerable comfort and delight of soul.
* Thursday, August 19. This day, being about to go from Mr. Bellamy's at Bethlehem, where I had
HIS DIARY. 49
resided some time, I prayed with him and two or three other Christian friends, and gave ourselves to God with all our hearts, to be his for ever : eternity appeared very near to me, while I was praying. If I never should see these Christians again in this world, it seemed but a few moments before I should meet them in another world. Parted with them sweetly.
' Saturday, August 21. Was much perplexed in the morning. Towards noon enjoyed more of God in secret, was enabled to see that it was best to throw myself into his hands, to be disposed of according to his pleasure ; and rejoiced in such thoughts. In the afternoon, rode to New-Haven ; was much confused all the way. Just at night, underwent a dreadful conflict, such as I have scarcely ever felt. I saw myself exceedingly vile and unworthy ; so that I was guilty and ashamed that any body should bestow favours on me, or show me any respect.
' Monday, August 30. Felt somewhat comfort ably in the morning ; conversed sweetly with some friends ; was in a serious composed frame ; prayed at a certain house with some degree of fervour. After wards, at another house, prayed privately with a dear Christian friend or two ; and, I think, I scarcely ever launched so far into the eternal world as then. I got so far out on the broad ocean, that my soul with joy triumphed over all the evils on the shores of mor tality. Time, and all its gay amusements and cruel disappointments, never appeared so inconsiderable to me before. I was in a sweet frame ; I saw myself nothing, and my soul went out after God with in tense desire. Oh ! I saw what I owed to him, in such a manner as I had scarcely ever done: I knew I
E
50 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD:
had never lived a moment to him as I should do. In deed, it appeared to me 1 had never done any thing in Christianity: my soul longed with a vehement de sire to live to God. In the evening, sung and prayed with a number of Christians ; and felt " the powers of the world to come." Afterwards prayed again privately, with a dear Christian or two, and found the divine presence ; was somewhat humbled in secret retirement ; felt my ingratitude, because I was not wholly swallowed up in God.
' Wednesday, September 1. Went to Judea, to the ordination of Mr. Judd. Dear Mr. Bellamy preached from Matt. xxiv. 46. " Blessed is that ser vant," &c. I felt very solemn most of the time ; my thoughts dwelt much on that time when our Lord will come ; only I was afraid I should not be found faithful, because I have so depraved a heart. My thoughts were much in eternity, where I love to dwell. Blessed be God for this solemn season. — Rode home to-night with Mr. Bellamy, felt happy on the road ; conversed with some friends till it was very late, and then retired to rest in a comfortable frame.
' Thursday, September 2. About two in the after noon, I preached from John vi. 67. and God assisted me in some comfortable degree; but more espe cially in my first prayer. My soul seemed then to launch quite into the eternal world, and to be as it were separated from this lower state. After wards preached again from Isaiah v. 4. God gave me some assistance; but I saw myself a poor worm.
4 Saturday, September 4. Much out of health, ex ceedingly depressed in spirit, and at an awful dis-
HIS DIARY. 51
tance from God. Towards night, spent some time in profitable thoughts on Rom. viii. 2. Had a re freshing season in prayer; God enabled me to wrestle ardently for the advancement of the Redeemer's kingdom ; pleaded earnestly for my own dear brother John, that God would make him more of a pilgrim and stranger on the earth, and fit him for singular usefulness in the world ; and my heart exulted in the thoughts of any distresses that might alight on him or me, in the advancement of Christ's kingdom. It was truly a comfortable season; I was indulged with free dom to plead, not only for myself, but for many others.
* Monday, September 6. Was informed that they only waited for an opportunity to apprehend me for preaching at New Haven lately, that so they might imprison me. This made me more solemn and seri ous, and to quit all hopes of the world's friendship : it brought me to a further sense of my sinfulness, and just desert of this and much more, from the hand of God, though not from the hand of man. Retired into a convenient place in the woods, and spread the matter before God.
1 Tuesday, September 7. Rode to New Haven, to a friend's house at a distance from the town ; there I remain undiscovered, and yet have opportunity to do business privately with friends who come to Com mencement.
' Wednesday, September 8. Felt very comfortable when I first rose in the morning. In family prayer had some enlargement, but not much spirituality, till eternity came up before me, and looked near; I found some satisfaction in the thoughts of bidding a dying farewell to this tiresome world. Though some time ago I reckoned upon seeing my dear friends at Com- E 2
52 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD :
mencement ; yet, being now denied the opportunity for fear of imprisonment, I felt entirely resigned, and as contented to spend this day alone in the woods, as I could have done if I had been allowed to go to town. Felt exceedingly weaned from the world to-day. In the afternoon discoursed on divine things with a dear Christian friend, and we were both refreshed. Then I prayed, with a deep sense of the blessedness of communion with God ; I think I scarce ever en joyed more of God in any one prayer. It was a blessed season indeed to my soul. I knew not that I ever saw so much of my own nothingness in my life ; never wondered so, that God allowed me to preach his word ; never was so astonished before. This has been a good day to my soul. Blessed be God. Prayed again with my dear friend, and enjoyed the divine presence. I long to be wholly conformed to God, and transformed into his image.
' Thursday, September 9. Spent muclfof the day alone; had the presence of God in some comfortable degree; was visited by some dear friends, and prayed with them. Wrote sundry letters to friends; felt religion in my soul while writing ; enjoyed some sweet meditations on the Scriptures. In the even ing went very privately into town, from the place of my residence at the farms, and conversed with some dear friends: felt happy in singing hymns with them; and made my escape to the farms again, without be ing discovered by any of my enemies. Thus the Lord preserves me continually.
' Thursday, September 16. At night enjoyed much of God in secret prayer ; felt an uncommon resigna tion to be and to do what God pleased. Some days past I felt great perplexity on account of my past
HIS DIARY. 53
conduct: my bitterness, and want of Christian kind ness and love, has been very distressing to my soul ; the Lord forgive me my unchristian warmth, and want of a spirit of meekness ! '
The next twelve days, he appears to have been for the most part under great degrees of melancholy, exceedingly dejected and discouraged: speaks of his being ready to give up all for lost, respecting the cause of Christ, and exceedingly longing to die; yet had some intervals of comfort, with special assistance and enlargement in the duties of religion, and in per forming public services, and considerable success in them.
* Thursday, September 30. Still very low in spi rits, and did not know how to engage in any work or business, especially to correct some disorders among Christians ; felt as though I had no power to be faithful. However, towards noon, preached from Deut. viii. 2. and was enabled with freedom to re prove some things in Christian conduct, that I thought very unsuitable and irregular; insisted nearly two hours on this subject/
During this, and several following weeks, he passed through a variety of exercises ; he was fre quently dejected, and felt inward distresses, and sometimes sunk into the depths of melancholy. At these times he was not exercised about the state of his soul, with regard to the favour of God, and his interest in Christ, but about his own sinful infirmi ties and unfitness for God's service. His mind ap pears sometimes extremely depressed and sunk with a sense of inexpressible unworthiness. But in the meantime, he speaks of many seasons of comfort and spiritual refreshment, wherein his heart was encour*
54 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD:
aged and strengthened in God, and happily resigned to do his will ; also of some seasons of very high degrees of spiritual consolation, and of his great longings after holiness and conformity to God ; of his great fear of offending God, of his heart being sweetly melted in religious duties, of his longings for the ad vancement of Christ's kingdom, and of his having at some times much assistance in preaching, and of re markable effects on the auditory.
* Lord's-day, October 1 7. Had a considerable sense of my helplessness and inability; saw that I must be dependent on God for all I want, and especially when I went to public worship. I found I could not speak a word for God without his special help and assistance; I went into the assembly trembling, as I frequently do, under a sense of my insufficiency to do any thing in the cause of God as I ought to do. But it pleased God to afford much assistance, and there seemed to be a considerable effect on the hearers. In the evening I felt a disposition to praise God for his goodness to me, especially that he had enabled me in some measure to be faithful. My soul rejoiced to think that I had thus performed the work of one day more, and was one day nearer my eternal, and, I trust, my heavenly home.
' Monday, October 18. In the morning felt some sweetness, but still pressed by inward trials. My life is a constant mixture of consolations and conflicts, and will be so till I arrive at the world of spirits.
1 Friday, October 22. Uncommonly weaned from the world to-day : my soul delighted to be a stranger and pilgrim on the earth ; I felt a disposition in me never to have any thing to do with this world. The character given of some of the ancient people of God,
HIS DIARY. 55
in Heb. xi. 13. was very pleasing to me : " They con fessed that they were pilgrims and strangers on the earth," by their daily practice ; and oh that I could always do so ! Spent considerable time in a plea sant grove, in prayer and meditation. It is sweet to be thus weaned from friends, and from myself, and dead to the present world, that so I may live wholly to and upon the blessed God. Saw myself little, low, and sinful. In the afternoon, preached at Bethlehem, from Deut. viii. 2. and felt comfortable both in prayer and preaching. God helped me to speak to the hearts of dear Christians. Blessed be the Lord for this season: I trust they and I shall rejoice on this
account to all eternity. Dear Mr. Bellamy came
in while I was offering the first prayer, (being re turned home from a journey,) and after meeting we walked away together, and spent the evening in sweetly conversing on divine things and praying together. We felt much tender love to each other, and retired to rest with our hearts in a serious frame.
' Monday, October 25. At Turkey-Hills. In the evening enjoyed the divine presence in secret prayer. My soul " longed for God, for the living God ;" en joyed a sweet solemnity of spirit, and longing desire after the recovery of the divine image in my soul. " Then shall I be satisfied, when I awake in God's likeness," and never before.
' Tuesday, October 26. At West-Suffield. Un derwent the most dreadful distresses, under a sense of my own unworthiness: it seemed to me, I deserved rather to be driven out of the place, than to have any body treat me with any kindness, or come to hear me preach. And verily my spirits were so depressed at
56 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD :
this time, as well as at many others, that it was im possible I should treat immortal souls with faithful ness. I could not deal closely and faithfully with them, I felt so infinitely vile in myself. Oh, what dust and ashes I am, to think of preaching the gospel to others ! Indeed I never can be faithful for one moment, but shall certainly " daub with untempered mortar," if God do not grant me special help. In the evening I went to the meeting-house, and it seemed to me nearly as easy for one to rise out of the grave and preach, as for me. However, God afforded me some life and power, both in prayer and sermon : God was pleased to lift me up, and show me that he could enable me to preach.
' Thursday, November 4. At Lebanon. Saw much of my nothingness most of this day : but felt con cerned that I had no more sense of my insufficiency and unworthiness. Oh it is sweet to lie in the dust before God ! But it is distressing to feel in my soul that depth of corruption which still remains in me. In the after noon had a sense of the sweetness of a strict, close, and constant devotedness to God, and my soul was comforted with divine consolations. I felt a pleasing, yet painful concern, lest I should spend some mo ments without God ; oh, may I always live to him ! In the evening was visited by some friends ; spent the time in prayer, and such conversation as tended to our edification. It was a comfortable season to my soul : I felt an intense desire to spend every moment for God/
These insatiable desires after God and holiness continued the two next days, with a great sense of his own exceeding unworthiness, and the nothing ness of the things of this world.
HIS DIARY. 57
' Lord's-day, November 7. At Millington. It seemed as if one so unholy could never arrive at that blessedness, to be " holy, as God is holy." At noon, I longed for sanctification and conformity to God ; oh ! that is THE ALL, THE ALL ! The Lord help me to press forward.
* Monday, November 8. Towards night, enjoyed much in secret prayer, so that my soul longed for an arrival in the heavenly country, the blessed paradise of God. Through divine goodness I have scarcely seen the day for these two months, but death has appeared so pleasant to me at one time or other of the day, that I could have rejoiced if the present might be my last, notwithstanding my pressing inward trials and conflicts : and I trust the Lord will finally make me more than a conqueror, so that I shall be able to use that triumphant language, " O death ! where is thy sting ? O grave ! where is thy victory?"'
58 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD :
CHAPTER III.
Entrance on his missionary labours.
ON the 19th of November, 1742, Mr. Brainerd re ceived a letter from the Rev. Ebenezer Pemberton, of New York, desiring him to go thither without delay; in order to consult about the state of the Indians in those quarters, and to meet some gentle men who were entrusted with those affairs. The gentlemen alluded to were the correspondents in New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania, of the Society in Scotland for Propagating Christian Knowledge.
This will be a suitable place to introduce some account of the first exertions of that society in behalf of the North- American Indians.
The deplorable state of the Indians in those parts of America being by several ministers represented to the society, the society charitably and cheerfully came into the proposal of maintaining two mis sionaries among these miserable Pagans, to endea vour their conversion from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God ; and sent their commission to some ministers and other gentlemen,
ENGAGEMENT AS MISSIONARY. 59
to act as their correspondents, in providing, direct ing, and inspecting the said mission.
As soon as the correspondents were authorized by the society's commission, they looked out for two candidates, whose zeal for the interests of Christ's kingdom, and whose compassion for perishing souls, would prompt them to such a difficult and self- denying undertaking.
They first prevailed with Mr. Azariah Horton to relinquish a call to an encouraging parish, and to devote himself to the Indian service. He was di rected to Long Island, in August, 1741 ; at the east end whereof there are two small towns of the Indians : and from the east to the west end of the island, lesser companies settled at a few miles dis tance from one another, for above a hundred miles. At his first coming among them, he was well re ceived by most, and heartily welcomed by some of them. At the east end of the island, especially, they gave diligent and serious attention to his in structions, and many were put on solemn inquiries respecting their salvation. A general reformation of manners was soon observable among most of these Indians. They were careful to attend, and serious and solemn in attendance, on both public and pri vate instruction. A number of them were under very deep convictions of their miserable perishing state ; and about twenty of them gave lasting evi dence of their saving conversion to God. — Mr. Horton had baptized thirty-five adults, and forty-four chil dren. He took pains with them, to teach them to read ; and some of them made considerable profi ciency. But the expensiveness of his charge, and the necessity of his travelling from place to place,
60 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD '.
made him incapable of giving so constant attendance to their instruction in reading as was needful. In his last letter to the correspondents, he heavily com plained of a great defection of some of them from their first reformation and care of their souls, occa sioned by strong drink being brought among them, and their being thereby allured to a relapse in their darling vice of drunkenness ; a vice to which the Indians are everywhere so greatly addicted, that nothing but the power of divine grace can restrain that impetuous lust, when they have opportunity to gratify it. He complained, also, that some of them were grown more careless and remiss in the duties of religious worship, than they were when first ac quainted with the great things of their eternal peace. But, as a number retained their first impressions, and as they generally attended with reverence on his ministry, he went on in his work, with encouraging hopes of the presence and blessing of God with him in his difficult undertaking.
It was some time after Mr. Horton was employed in the Indian service, before the correspondents could obtain another qualified candidate for the self- denying mission. They addressed Mr. Brainerd with this view ; and, in compliance with their sum mons, he proceeded to New York. Their invitation lay with much weight on his mind ; but he carried it, where he carried all his concerns, to the throne of Him whom he served. His spirits sunk under a consciousness of his own insufficiency for the work ; and, when called to preach before a large assembly, among whom were grave and learned ministers, he could not but think himself deeply indebted to his hearers that they would listen to one so worthless,
ENGAGEMENT AS MISSIONARY. 61
and prayed that God would remunerate them with the rewards of his grace.
He had received several invitations to places where he had a prospect of a comfortable settlement among the English ; but the correspondents invited him to encounter the fatigues and perils which could not but attend his attempt to carry the gospel of Christ to the miserable children in the wilderness. He accepted this invitation ; but the winter being an unfit season to enter on his work, he returned home, to wait for the spring.
Some further extracts from his diary will exhibit the state of his mind during this interval.
' Friday, November 26. Had still a sense of my great unworthiness, and endeavoured as much as I could to keep alone. Oh, what a nothing, what dust and ashes I am ! — Enjoyed some peace and comfort in spreading my complaints before the God of all grace.
' Saturday, November 27. Committed my soul to God with some degree of comfort; left New York about nine in the morning; came away with a distressing sense of my unspeakable depravity. Surely I may well love all my brethren, for none of them all is so vile as T ; whatever they do outwardly, yet it seems to me none is conscious of so much guilt before God. Oh my leanness, my barrenness, my carnality, and past bitterness, and want of a gospel- temper ! These things oppress my soul. Rode
from New York, thirty miles, to White Plains, and most of the way continued lifting up my heart to God for mercy and purifying grace ; and spent the evening much dejected in spirit.
1 Wednesday, December 1. My soul breathed
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after God in spiritual and longing desires of confor mity to him ; was brought to rest itself and all on his rich grace, and felt strength and encouragement to do or suffer any thing that divine providence should
allot me. Rode about twenty miles from Strat-
field to Newton/
Within the space of the next nine days, he went a journey from Newton to Haddam, his native town ; and after staying there some days, returned again into the western part of Connecticut, and came to Southbury.
' Saturday, December 11. Conversed with a dear friend, to whom I had thought of giving a liberal education, and being at the whole charge of it, that he might be fitted for the gospel-ministry. I ac quainted him with my thoughts in that matter, and so left him to consider of it till I should see him again. Then I rode to Bethlehem, and so came to Mr. Bellamy's lodgings ; spent the evening with him in sweet conversation and prayer ; we recommended the important concern before mentioned (of sending my friend to college) unto the God of all grace. Blessed be the Lord for this evening's opportunity together.
' Lord's-day, December 12. In the morning I felt as if I had little or no power either to pray or preach, and had a distressing need of divine help. I went to meeting trembling; but it pleased God to assist me in prayer and sermon : I think my soul scarcely ever penetrated so far into the immaterial world in any one prayer that ever I made, nor were my devotions ever so much refined, and free from gross conceptions and imaginations, framed from beholding material objects. I preached with some pleasure
HIS DIARY. 63
from Matt. vi. 33. " But seek ye first the kingdom of God," &c. ; and in the afternoon from Rom. xv. 30. " And now I beseech you, brethren/' &c. There was much affection in the assembly. This has been a good Sabbath to me ; and blessed be God I have reason to think that my religion is become more refined and spiritual, by means of my late in ward conflicts. Amen. May I always be willing that God should use his own methods with me.
1 Tuesday, December 14. Some perplexity hung on my mind : was distressed last night and this morn ing for the interest of Zion, especially on account of the false appearances of religion, which breed confu sion in some places. I cried to God for help, to enable me to bear testimony against those things, which, instead of promoting, do but hinder the pro gress of vital piety. In the afternoon, rode down to Southbury, and conversed again with my friend on the importance of his following the work of the min istry ; and he appeared much inclined to devote him self to it, if God should succeed his attempts to qualify himself for so great a work. In the evening I preached from 1 Thess. iv. 8. ; and endeavoured, though with tenderness, to undermine false religion. The Lord gave me some assistance ; but I seemed to myself so vile, that I was ashamed to be seen when I came out of the meeting-house.
' Lord's-day, December 19. At the sacrament of the Lord's Supper, seemed strong in the Lord ; and the world, with all its frowns and flatteries, in a great measure disappeared, so that my soul had nothing to do with them ; and I felt a disposition to be wholly and for ever the Lord's. — In the evening, enjoyed something of the divine presence ; had an humbling
64 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD*.
sense of my barrenness and sinfulness. Oh, it wounded me to think of the misimprovement of time ! " God be merciful to me a sinner."
' Tuesday, December 21. Had a sense of my in sufficiency for any public work and business, as well as to live to God. I rode over to Derby, and preached there ; it pleased God to afford me assist ance and enlargement, and to enable me to speak with a soft and tender power and energy. We had afterwards a comfortable evening in singing and prayer. God enabled me to pray with as much spirituality and sweetness as I have done for some time : my mind seemed to be unclothed of sense and imagination, and was in a measure let into the im material world of spirits. This day and evening was, I trust, through infinite goodness, made very profitable to a number of us to advance our souls in holiness and conformity to God : the glory be to him for ever. Amen.
4 Lord's-day, December 26. Felt much tenderness in prayer ; my whole soul seemed to love my worst enemies, and was enabled to pray for those that are strangers and enemies to God, with a great degree of softness and pathetic fervour. In the evening, rode from New Haven to Brandford, after I had kneeled down and prayed with a number of Christian friends in a very retired place in the woods, and so parted.
' Monday, December 27. Enjoyed a precious sea son indeed ; had a melting sense of divine things, of the pure spirituality of the religion of Christ Jesus, In the evening I preached from Matt. vi. 33, with much freedom, power, and pungency : the presence of God attended our meeting. Oh the tenderness I felt
HIS DIARY. 65
in my soul! If ever I felt the temper of Christ, I had some sense of it now. Blessed be my God, I have seldom enjoyed a more comfortable and pro fitable day than this : oh that I could spend all my time for God !
' Friday, Jan 14, 1742-3. My spiritual conflicts to-day were unspeakably dreadful, heavier than the mountains and overflowing floods : I seemed enclosed, as it were, in hell itself. I was deprived of all sense of God, even of the being of a God : and that was iny misery. I had no awful apprehensions of God as angry. This was distress, the nearest a-kin to the misery of the lost that I ever endured : their tor ment, I am sure, will consist much in a privation of God, and consequently of all good. This taught me the absolute dependence of a creature upon God the Creator, for the least degree of happiness it enjoys. Oh I feel that if there is no God, though I might live for ever here, and enjoy not only this, but all other worlds, I should be ten thousand times more miserable than the meanest reptile. My soul was in such anguish I could not eat, but felt as I sup posed a poor wretch would that is just going to the place of execution. I was almost swallowed up with anguish, when I saw people gathering together to hear me preach. However, I went in that distress to the house of God, and found not much relief in the first prayer : it seemed as if God would let loose the people upon me to destroy me. The thoughts of death were not so distressing to me as my own vileness. But afterwards, in my discourse from Deut. viii. 2, God was pleased to give me some free dom and enlargement, some power and spirituality ; and I spent the evening rather comfortably. F
66 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD :
' Wednesday, Jan. 19. At Canterbury. In the afternoon preached the lecture at the meeting-house, and felt some tenderness. Exhorted the people to love one another, and not to set up their own frames as a standard to try all their brethren by. I was much pressed, most of the day, with a sense of my own badness, inward impurity, and unspeakable cor ruption. Spent the evening in loving Christian con versation.
* Wednesday, Jan. 26. Preached to a pretty large assembly at Mr. Fish's meeting-house : insisted on stedfastness in keeping God's commands : and that through humility we should prefer one another in love, and not make our own frames the rule by which \ve judge others. 1 felt sweetly calm, and full of brotherly love; and never more free from party spirit. I hope some good will follow ; — that Christians will be freed from false joy, and party zeal, and censuring one another.
1 Friday, Jan. 28. Rode to New London. Here I found some fallen into extravagances ; and too much carried away with false zeal and bitterness : oh, the want of a gospel-temper is greatly to be lamented. Spent the evening in conversing about some points of conduct in both ministers and private Christians ; but we did not agree. God had not taught them with briars and thorns, to be of a kind disposition toward mankind.
' Wednesday, February 2. Preached my farewell- sermon last night at the house of an aged man, who had been unable to attend public worship for some time : and this morning spent the time in prayer, almost wherever I went. Having taken leave of friends, I set out on my journey towards the Indians ;
HIS DIARY. 67
though by the way I was to spend some time at East- Hampton on Long-Island, by the leave of the com missioners who employed me in the Indian affair ; and being accompanied by a messenger from East- Hampton, we travelled to Lyme. On the road I felt an uncommon pressure of mind. I seemed to struggle hard for some pleasure in something here below, and loth to give up all for gone. I saw that I was evidently throwing myself into hardships and distresses in my present undertaking, and thought it would be less difficult to lie down in the grave : still I chose to go rather than stay. Came to Lyme that night/
He waited the two next days for a passage over the Sound, and spent much of the time in inward conflicts and dejection, but had some comfort. On Saturday he crossed the Sound, landed at Oyster- Ponds on Long-Island, and travelled from thence to East-Hampton. He spent the seven following days, under extreme dejection, with great complaints of darkness and ignorance ; yet his heart appears to have been constantly engaged in the great business of religion, praying and labouring much to pro mote it.
' Saturday, Feb. 12. Enjoyed a little more com fort, was enabled to meditate with some composure of mind; and, especially in the evening, found my soul more refreshed in prayer than at any time of late. I seemed to " take hold of God's strength/' and was comforted with his consolations. How sweet are the glimpses of divine glory; how strengthening and quickening!
* Saturday, Feb. 19. Was exceedingly infirm to day, greatly troubled with pain in my head and diz-
F 2
68 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD '.
ziness ; scarcely able to sit up. However, enjoyed something of God in prayer, and performed some necessary studies. I exceedingly long to die ; and yet, through divine goodness, have felt very willing to live, for two or three days past.
' Lord's-day, Feb. 20. Perplexed on account of my carelessness; thought I could not be suitably concerned about the important work of the day, and so was restless with my easiness. Was exceedingly infirm again to-day ; but the Lord strengthened me, both in the outward and inward man, so that I preached with some life and spirituality, especially in the afternoon. I was enabled to speak closely against selfish religion, that loves Christ for his benefits, but not for himself/
During the next fortnight, it appears that he en joyed much spiritual peace and comfort. In his diary for this space of time, are expressed such things as these : mourning over indwelling sin and unprofitableness ; deadness to the world ; longing after God, and to live to his glory; heart-melting desires after his eternal home ; fixed reliance on God for his help ; experience of much divine assistance both in the private and public exercies of religion ; inward strength and courage in the service of God ; very frequent refreshment, consolation, and divine sweetness in meditation, prayer, preaching, and Christian conversation. And it appears by his ac count, that this space of time was filled up with great diligence and earnestness in serving God, in study, prayer, meditation, preaching, and private instructing and counselling.
' Monday, March 7. This morning when I arose, I found my heart go forth after God in longing de-
HIS DIARY. 69
sires of conformity to him, and in secret prayer found myself quickened and drawn out in praises to God for all he had done for me, and for all my inward trials and distresses. My heart ascribed glory, glory, glory to the blessed God ; and bid welcome all in ward distress again, if God saw meet to exercise me with them. Time appeared but an inch long, and eternity at hand ; and I thought I could, with pa tience and cheerfulness, bear any thing for the cause of God ; for I saw that a moment would bring me to a world of peace and blessedness. By the strength of the Lord I rose far above this lower world, and all the vain amusements and frightful disappointments of it. Afterwards, was visited by some friends, but lost some sweetness by it. After that, had some de lightful meditation on Gen. v. 24 : " And Enoch walked with God."
' Wednesday, March 9. Endeavoured to commit myself and all my concerns to God. Rode sixteen miles to Mantauk, and had some inward sweetness on the road ; but something of flatness and deadness after I came there and had seen the Indians. I with drew and endeavoured to pray, but found myself awfully deserted and left, and had an afflicting sense of my vileness and meanness. However, I went and preached from Isaiah liii. 10. Had some assistance, and I trust something of the divine presence was among us. In the evening also I prayed and ex horted among them, after having had a season alone, when I was so pressed with the blackness of my na ture, that I thought it was not fit for me to speak, even to the Indians.
' Lord's-day, March 13. At noon I thought it im possible for me to preach, by reason of bodily weak-
70 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD I
ness and inward deadness ; and in the first prayer, was so weak I could hardly stand ; but in sermon, God strengthened me, so that I spake near an hour and a half with freedom, clearness, and energy, from Gen. v. 24. " And Enoch walked with God." I was sweetly assisted to insist on a close walk with God, and to leave this as my parting advice to God's people here, that they should walk with God. May the God of all grace succeed my poor labours in this place/
As he had now undertaken the work of a mission ary, and expected shortly to leave his native country to spend the remainder of his life among savages in the distant wilderness, he began to settle his worldly affairs. Some estate had been left him by his father ; and, thinking that he should have no occasion for it among the Indians (though he afterwards discovered his mistake), he set himself to consider in what manner it might be best expended for the glory of God. No way presenting itself to his mind, wherein he could apply it more effectually for that end, than by educating a suitable young man for the ministry, he devoted it to that object ; and, accordingly, having fixed on a proper person, he continued to be at the charge of his education, from year to year, so long as he lived, which was till his young friend was carried through his third year in college.
FIRST YEAR OF HIS MISSION. 71
CHAPTER IV.
The first year of his Mission.
ABOUT the middle of March, 1743, Brainerd pro ceeded again to New York. On the 15th of that month, he waited on the correspondents at that city ; and, the week following, attended their meeting at Woodbridge, in New Jersey. Here he received his final directions.
His first destination had been to the Indians living near the Forks of the Delaware and on the Susque- hannah ; but this design was relinquished. The correspondents had learned that some contention subsisted between the white people and the Delaware Indians, concerning their lands ; and apprehended that this would hinder, for the present, the reception and success of a missionary. They had, on the other hand, received some intimations from the Rev. Mr. Sergeant, missionary to the Indians at Stock- bridge, that there was the most hopeful prospect of success for a missionary among the Indians of Kau- naumeek.
This place was situated about twenty miles east of
72 LIFE OF DAVID BRA1NERD:
the city of Albany. Here Brainerd was appointed to labour; and was immediately dismissed by the correspondents, to attempt the instruction of these Indians. He arrived among them April 1, 1743, and continued his labours till April 6, 1744, when he was directed by the correspondents, as we shall hereafter see, to proceed to his original destination on the Delaware. His account of his situation, addressed, after he had left Kaunaumeek, to the Rev. Ebenezer Pemberton, is not a little melancholy.
1 The place, as to its situation, was sufficiently lonesome and unpleasant, being encompassed with mountains and woods ; twenty miles distant from any English inhabitant; six or seven from any Dutch ; and more than two from a family that came some time since from the Highlands of Scotland, and had then lived, as I remember, about two years in this wilderness. In this family I lodged about the space of three months, the master of it being the only per son with whom I could readily converse in those parts, except my interpreter ; others understanding very little English.
* After I had spent about three months in this situ ation, I found my distance from the Indians a very great disadvantage to my work amongst them, and very burdensome to myself; as I was obliged to travel forward and backward almost daily on foot, having no pasture in which I could keep my horse for that purpose : and, after all my pains, could not be with the Indians in the evening and morning, which were usually the best hours to find them at home, and when they could best attend my in structions.
' 1 therefore resolved to remove, and live with or
FIRST YEAR OF HIS MISSION. 73
near the Indians, that I might watch all opportun ities, when they were generally at home, and take the advantage of such seasons for their instruction.
* Accordingly, I removed soon after, and, for a time, lived with them in one of their wigwams ; .and, not long after, built me a small house, where I spent the remainder of that year entirely alone ; my inter preter, who was an Indian, choosing rather to live in a wigwam, among his own countrymen.
' This way of living I found attended with many difficulties and uncomfortable circumstances, in a place where I could get none of the necessaries and common comforts of life, (no, not so much as a morsel of bread,) but what I brought from places fifteen and twenty miles distant; and often was obliged, for some time together, to content myself without, for want of an opportunity to procure the things I needed.
4 But, although the difficulties of this solitary way of living are not the least, or most inconsiderable, (and doubtless are, in fact, many more and greater to those who experience, than they can readily ap pear to those who only view them at a distance), yet I can truly say, that the burden which I felt respect ing my great work among the poor Indians ; the fear and concern that continually hung upon my spirit, lest they should be prejudiced against Christianity, and their minds embittered against me and my la bours among them, by means of the insinuations of some, who, although they are called Christians, seem to have no concern for Christ's kingdom, but would rather (as their conduct plainly discovers) that the Indians should remain heathens, that they may with the more ease cheat, and so enrich themselves by
74 LIFE OF DAVID BRA1NERD :
them ; — the burden, I say, the fear and concern which I felt, in these respects, were much more pressing to me than all the difficulties that attended the circum stances of my living.'
In the following extract of a letter which he wrote at this period to his brother John, then a student at Yale College, he unbosoms himself without reserve:
Kaunaumeek, April 30, 1743. * MY DEAR BROTHER,
* I should tell you, " I long to see you," but that my own experience has taught me there is no happi ness and plenary satisfaction to be enjoyed in earthly friends, though ever so near and dear, or in any other enjoyment that is not God himself. There fore, if the God of all grace would be pleased to afford us each his presence and grace, that we may perform the work and endure the trials he calls us to, in a most distressing tiresome wilderness, till we arrive at our journey's end; the distance at which we are held from each other at the present, is a matter of no great moment or importance to either of us. But, alas, the presence of God is what I want.
* I live in the most lonely melancholy desert, about eighteen miles from Albany ; for it was not thought best that I should go to Delaware River, as I believe I hinted to you in a letter from New York. I board with a poor Scotchman : his wife can talk scarcely any English. My diet consists mostly of hasty- pudding, boiled corn, and bread baked in the ashes, and sometimes a little meat and butter. My lodging is a little heap of straw, laid upon some boards, a
FIRST YEAR OF HIS MISSION. 75
little way from the ground ; for it is a log-room, without any floor, that I lodge in. My work is ex ceeding hard and difficult : I travel on foot a mile and a half in the worst of roads almost daily, and back again ; for I live so far from my Indians. I have not seen an English person this month. These and many other uncomfortable circumstances attend me ; and yet my spiritual conflicts and distresses so far exceed all these, that I scarce think of them, but feel as if I were entertained in the most sumptuous manner. The Lord grant that I may learn to " endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ!" . ' As to my success here, I cannot say much as yet. The Indians seem generally kind and well-disposed towards me, and are mostly very attentive to my instructions, and seem willing to be taught. Two or three, I hope, are under some convictions ; but there seems to be little of the special workings of the divine Spirit among them yet; which gives me many a heart-sinking hour. Sometimes I hope God has abundant blessings in store for them and me ; at other times I am so overwhelmed with distress, that I cannot see how his dealings with me are consistent with covenant love and faithfulness; and I say, " Surely his tender mercies are clean gone for ever." But I already see I needed all this chastisement. " It is good for me" that I have endured these trials, and have hitherto little or no apparent success. Do not be discouraged on my account. I was undejr great distress at Mr. Pomroy's when I saw your last: but " God has been with me of a truth" since that: at Long Island and elsewhere.
' Let us also remember that we must, " through much tribulation/' enter into God's eternal kingdom
76 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD :
of rest and peace. The righteous are "scarcely" saved: it is an infinite wonder that we have well- grounded hopes of being saved at all. For my part, I feel the most vile of any creature living ; and I am sure, sometimes, there is not such another existing on this side hell. Now all you can do for me is, to pray incessantly that God would make me humble, holy, resigned, and heavenly-minded, by all my trials. — " Be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might/' Let us run, wrestle, and fight, that we may win the prize, and obtain that complete happi ness, to be holy as God is holy. Wishing and praying that you may advance in learning and grace, and be fit for special service for God, I remain your affectionate brother,
D. B.'
Brainerd appears to have spent the months of April, May, and June, in the family of the poor Scotchman ; and that of July in the wigwam, among the Indians. The following passages from his journal during these four months, will discover the prevail ing state of his mind. His holy and humble soul was still exercised with painful views of his own imperfections.
* Friday, April 1, 1743. I rode to Kaunaumeek, near twenty miles from Stockbridge, where the In dians live with whom I am concerned, and there lodged on a little heap of straw : was greatly exer cised with inward trials and distresses all day ; and in the evening, my heart was sunk, and I seemed to have no God to go to. Oh, that God would help me !'
The next five days he was, for the most part, in a dejected, depressed state of mind, and sometimes ex-
FIRST YEAR OF HIS MISSION. 77
tremely so. He speaks of God's " waves and billows rolling over his soul ; " and of his being ready some times to say, " Surely his mercy is clean gone for ever, and he will be favourable no more ; " and says, the anguish he endured was nameless and inconceiv able. But at the same time speaks thus concerning his distresses : ' What God designs by all my dis tresses I know not ; but this I know, I deserve them all, and thousands more.' He gives an account of the Indians kindly receiving him, and being seriously attentive to his instructions.
' Thursday, April 7. Appeared to myself exceed ingly ignorant, helpless, and unworthy, and altogether unequal to my work. It seemed to me, I should never do any service, or have any success among the Indians. My soul was weary of my life : I longed for death beyond measure. When I thought of any godly soul departed, I was ready to envy him his privilege, thinking, * Oh, when will my turn come; must it be years first ! ' But I know, those ardent desires, at this and other times, rose partly from want of resignation to God under all miseries ; and so were but expressions of impatience. Towards night, I had, I think, the exercise of faith in prayer, and some assistance in writing. Oh, that God would keep me near him !
' Friday, April 8. Was exceedingly pressed under a sense of my pride, selfishness, bitterness, and party spirit, in times past, while I attempted to promote the cause of God : its vile nature and dreadful conse quences appeared in such odious colours to me, that my very heart was pained. I saw how poor souls stumbled over it into everlasting destruction, so that I was constrained .to make that prayer in the bitter-
f 78 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD !
ness of my soul : " O Lord, deliver me from blood- guiltiness." 1 saw my desert of hell on this account. My soul was full of inward anguish and shame before God, that I had spent so much time in conversation tending only to promote a party spirit. I saw I had not suitably prized mortification, self-denial, resigna tion under all adversities, meekness, love, candour, and holiness of heart and life : and this day was almost wholly spent in such bitter and soul-aftlicting reflections on my past frames and conduct. Of late, I have thought much of having the kingdom of Christ advanced in the world ; but now I saw I had enough to do within myself. The Lord be merciful to me a sinner, and wash my soul.
' Lord's-day, April 10. Rose early in the morning and walked out; spent considerable time in the woods, in prayer and meditation. Preached to the Indians, both forenoon and afternoon. They behaved soberly in general : two or three in particular ap peared under some religious concern, with whom I discoursed privately ; and one told me, ' her heart had cried ever since she heard me preach first.'
' Friday, April 15. In the forenoon, very discon solate. In the afternoon, preached to my people, and was a little encouraged to hope that God might be stow mercy on their souls. Felt something resigned to God under all dispensations of his providence.
' Saturday, April 16. Still in the depths of distress. In the afternoon, preached to my people, but was more discouraged with them than before ; feared that nothing would ever be done for them to any good effect. I retired and poured out my soul to God for mercy ; but without any sensible relief. Soon after came an Irishman and a Dutchman, with a design,
FIRST YEAR OF HIS MISSION. 79
as they said, to hear me preach the next day ; but none can tell how I felt, to hear their profane talk. I longed that some dear Christian knew my distress. I got into a kind of hovel, and there groaned out my complaint to God. I felt some gratitude and thank fulness, that he had made me to differ from these men, as I knew through grace he had.
* Lord's-day, April 17. In the morning, was again distressed as soon as I waked, hearing much talk about the world and the things of it ; though I perceived the men were in some measure afraid of me, and I discoursed about sanctifying the Sabbath, if possible, to solemnize their minds : yet, when they were at a little distance, they again talked freely about secular affairs. Oh, I thought, what a hell it would be to live with such men to eternity ! The Lord gave me some assistance in preaching all day, and some resignation, and a small degree of comfort in prayer at night.
4 Tuesday, April 19. In the morning, enjoyed some sweet repose and rest in God ; felt some strength and confidence in God : and my soul was in a measure re freshed and comforted. Spent most of the day in writing, and had some exercise of grace : my soul seemed lifted above the deep waters, wherein it has been so long almost drowned. Felt some spiritual longings and breathings after God ; found myself en gaged for the advancement of Christ's kingdom in my own soul, more than in others, more than in the Heathen world.
' Wednesday, April 20. Set apart this day for fast ing and prayer, to bow my soul before God for the bestowment of divine grace ; especially that all my spiritual afflictions and inward distresses might be
80 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD :
sanctified. Endeavoured also to remember the good ness of God to me in the year past, this day being my birth-day. Having obtained help of God, I have hitherto lived, and am now arrived at the age of twenty-five years. My soul was pained to think of my barrenness and deadness ; that I have lived so little to the glory of the eternal God. I spent the day in the woods alone, and there poured out my complaint to God. Oh that he would enable me to live to his glory for the future? '
On the following days, his melancholy again pre vailed : he complains of his ignorance, stupidity, and senselessness ; while yet he seems to have spent his time with the utmost diligence, in study, in prayer, and in instructing and counselling the Indians. On Monday, he sunk into the deepest melancholy ; so that he supposed he never spent a day in such dis tress in his life ; not in fears of hell, (which, he says, he had no pressing fear of,) but a distressing sense of his own vileness, &c. On Tuesday, he expresses some relief. Wednesday, he kept as a day of fasting and prayer, but in great distress. The three days next following, his melancholy continued, but in a less degree, and with intervals of comfort.
* Lord's day, May 1. Was at Stockbridge to-day. In the forenoon had some relief and assistance, though not so much as usual. In the afternoon, felt poorly in body and soul: while preaching, I seemed to be rehearsing idle tales, without the least life, fervour, sense, or comfort : and especially afterwards, at the sacrament, my soul was filled with confusion, and the utmost anguish that ever I endured, under the feel ing of my inexpressible vileness and meanness. It was a most bitter and distressing season to me, from
FIRST YEAR OF HIS MISSION. 81
the view I had of my own heart, and the secret abomi nations that lurk there. I thought the eyes of all in the house were upon me, and I dared not look any one in the face ; for it verily seemed as if they saw the vileness of my heart, and all the sins I had ever been guilty of. And if I had been banished from the presence of all mankind, never to be seen any more, or so much as thought of, still I should have been distressed with shame ; and should have been ashamed to see the most barbarous people on earth, because I was viler, and seemingly more brutish ly ignorant than they. " I am made to possess the sins of my youth."
' Tuesday, May 10. Was in the same state of mind that I have been in for some time, extremely oppressed with a sense of guilt, pollution, blindness : " The iniquity of my heels hath compassed me about ; the sins of my youth have been set in order before me ; they have gone over my head as a heavy bur den, too heavy for me to bear/' Almost all the ac tions of my past life seemed to be covered over with sin and guilt : and those of them that I performed in the most conscientious manner, now fill me with shame and confusion, so that I cannot hold up my face.'
The next seven days his gloom and distress con tinued for the most part; but he had some seasons of relief and spiritual comfort. He gives an account of his spending part of this time in hard labour, to build himself a little cottage to live in amongst the Indians, in which he might be by himself; having it seeins hitherto lived with a poor Scotchman ; and afterwards, before his own house was habitable, he lived in a wigwam among the Indians. G
82 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD.
' Wednesday, May 18. My circumstances are such that I have no comfort of any kind but what I have in God. I live in the most lonesome wilderness ; and have but one single person to converse with that can speak English. Most of the talk I hear, is either Highland Scotch or Indian. I have no fellow-Chris tian to whom I might unbosom myself, and lay open my spiritual sorrows ; or with whom I might take sweet counsel in conversation about heavenly things, and join in social prayer. I live poorly with regard to the comforts of life : most of my diet consists of boiled corn, hasty-pudding, &c. I lodge on a bundle of straw, and my labour is hard and extremely diffi cult; and I have little appearance of success to com fort me. The Indians' affairs are very difficult : having no land to live on but what the Dutch people lay- claim to, and threaten to drive them off from ; these latter have no regard to the souls of the poor Indians ; and by what I can learn, they hate me, because I come to preach to them. But that which makes all my diffi culties grievous to be borne is, that God hides his face from me.
' Thursday, May 19. Spent most of this day in close studies ; but was sometimes so distressed that I could think of nothing but my spiritual blindness, ignorance, pride, and misery. Oh, I have reason to make that prayer, " Lord, forgive my sins of youth, and former trespasses ! "
Monday, May 30, he set out on a journey to New Jersey, to consult the commissioners that employed him about the affairs of his mission : performed his journey thither in four days, and arrived at Mr. Burr's in Newark on Thursday. In great part of his journey he was in the depths of melancholy,
FIRST YEAR OF HIS MISSION. 83
under like distresses with those already mentioned. On Friday, he rode to Elizabeth-Town ; and on Saturday to New York, and from thence on his way homewards as far as White-Plains, where he spent the Sabbath, and had a considerable degree of divine consolation and assistance in the public services. On Monday, he rode about sixty miles to New Haven. There he attempted a reconciliation with the autho rities of the college, and spent this week in visiting his friends in those parts. In his journey home wards, till Saturday, he enjoyed a comfortable frame of mind. On Saturday, in his way from Stockbridge to Kaunaumeek, he was lost in the woods, and lay all night in the open air: but happily found his way in the morning, and came to his Indians on Lord's day, June 12, and had greater assistance in preaching among them than ever before.
From this time forward he was the subject of va rious frames and exercises of mind ; but it seems, in the general, to have been with him much after the same manner as it had been hitherto from his first coming to Kaunaumeek, till he got into his own house, a little hut which he made chiefly with his own hands, and which cost him near seven weeks hard labour. Great part of this time he was dejected and depressed with melancholy, and sometimes extremely so. How it was with him in those dark seasons, he himself further describes in his diary.
4 July 2. My soul is, and has for a long time been, in a piteous condition, wading through a series of sorrows of various kinds. I have been so crushed down sometimes with a sense of my meanness and infinite unworthiness, that I have been ashamed that any, even the meanest of my fellow-creatures, should
G2
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so much as spend a thought about me, and have even wished, while travelling among the thick brakes, that I might drop into everlasting oblivion. In this case, sometimes, I have almost resolved never again to see any of my acquaintance ; and really thought I could not do it and hold up my face ; and have longed for the remotest region, for a retreat from all my friends, that I might not be seen or heard of any more. Sometimes the consideration of my ignorance has been a means of my great distress and anxiety; and especially my soul has been in anguish with fear, shame, and guilt, that ever I had preached, or had any thought that way. Sometimes my soul has been in distress on feeling some parti cular corruptions rise and swell like a mighty tor rent, with present violence ; having at the same time ten thousand former sins and follies presented to view, in all their blackness and aggravations. And these attended with such external circumstances as mine at present are — destitute of most of the conve niences of life, and. I may sa}r, of all the pleasures of it ; without a friend to communicate any of my sorrows to, and sometimes without any place of re tirement, where I may unburden my soul before God — have greatly contributed to my distress. Of late, more especially, my great difficulty has been a sort of carelessness, a kind of regardless temper of mind, whence I have been disposed to indolence and trifling: and this temper has constantly been attended with guilt and shame ; so that sometimes I have been in a kind of horror, to find myself so unlike the blessed God, and have thought I grew worse under all my trials ; and nothing has cut and wounded my soul more than this. Oh, if I am one of God's chosen.
FIRST YEAR OF HIS MISSION. 85
as I trust through infinite grace I am, I find, of a tnrth, that the righteous are * scarcely saved/
These first four months which he passed at Kau- naumeek, were thus rendered very painful to him. His circumstances were unfavourable to that retire ment in which he delighted ; and his natural melan choly gained the ascendant over him.
Reflection on his errors at college, now frequently embittered his days. He made, therefore, several journeys, during this period, to Newhaven, in the hope of effecting a reconciliation with the governors of the college, but without success. We have al ready stated what passed on this business in the September following.
At the end of July he removed to the little cottage which he had been building. Here he spent the remaining eight months of this his first year. This beloved retreat gave a new turn to his mind. Though still deeply exercised in spirit, he was prevailingly happy in God, and enjoyed many seasons of refresh ment and mercy.
* July 25. Had little or no resolution for a life of holiness ; was ready almost to renounce my hopes of living to God. And oh, how dark it looked, to think of being unholy for ever! This I could not endure. The cry of my soul was that Psal. Ixv. 3. " Iniquities prevail against me." But t was in some measure re lieved by a comfortable meditation on God's eternity, that he never had a beginning, &c. Whence I was led to admire his greatness and power in such a man ner, that I stood still and praised the Lord for his own glories and perfections; for that though I was (and even if I should for ever be) an unholy creature,
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my soul was still comforted to apprehend an eternal, infinite, powerful, and holy God.
4 Tuesday, Aug. 2. Was still labouring to make myself more comfortable with regard to my house and lodging. Laboured under spiritual anxiety ; it seemed to me that I deserved to be turned out of the world ; yet I found some comfort in committing my cause to God. " It is good for me to be afflicted," that I may die wholly to this world, and all that is in it.
* Thursday, Aug. 4. Was enabled to pray much during the whole day ; and through divine goodness found some intenseness of soul in the duty, as I used to do, and some ability to persevere in my supplica tions. Had some apprehensions of divine things that were engaging, and that gave me some courage and resolution. It is good, I find, to persevere in at tempts to pray, if I cannot pray with perseverance, that is, continue long in my addresses to the divine Being. I have generally found, that the more I do in secret prayer, the more I have delighted in it, and the more I have enjoyed of a spirit of prayer : and fre quently have found the contrary, when, by jour neying or otherwise, I have been much deprived of retirement. A seasonable steady performance of se cret duties in their proper hours, and a careful im provement of all time, filling up every hour with some profitable labour, either of heart, head, or hands, are excellent means of spiritual peace and boldness before God. " Christ" indeed " is our peace, and by him we have boldness of access to God;" but a good conscience, void of offence, is an excellent preparation for an approach into the divine presence. There is a difference between that self-
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confidence and self-righteous pleasing of ourselves with our own duties, attainments, and spiritual en joyments, which godly souls sometimes are guilty of; and that holy confidence arising from the testimony of a good conscience, which good Hezekiah had, when he says, " Remember, O Lord, I beseech thee, how I have walked before thee in truth, and with a perfect heart/' " Then/' says the holy Psalmist, " shall I not be ashamed, when I have respect unto all thy commandments." Filling up our time with and for God, is the way to rise up and lie down in peace.
The next eight days, he continued for the most part in a very comfortable frame, having his mind fixed and powerfully engaged in religion. He more than once blesses God that he had given him a little cottage, where he might live alone, and enjoy a happy retirement, free from noise and disturbance, and could at any hour of the day lay aside all studies, and spend time in lifting up his soul to God for spiritual bless ings.
' Saturday, Aug. 13. Was enabled in secret prayer to raise my soul to God with desire and delight. It was indeed a blessed season to my soul : I found the comfort of being a Christian. " I counted the suf ferings of the present life not worthy to be compared with the glory" of divine enjoyments even in this world. All my past sorrows seemed kindly to dis appear, and I remembered no more the sorrow for joy. I felt exceedingly serious, calm and peaceful, and encouraged to press after holiness as long as I live, whatever difficulties and trials may be in my way. May the Lord always help me so to do. Amen, and Amen.
' Monday, Aug. 15. Spent most of the day in la-
LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD!
bour, to procure something to keep my horse on in the winter. Enjoyed not much sweetness in the morning ; was very weak in body through the day, and thought this frail tabernacle would soon drop into the dust; had some realizing apprehensions of a speedy entrance into another world. In this weak state of body, I was not a little distressed for want of suitable food : had no bread, nor could I get any. I am forced to go or send ten or fifteen miles for all the bread I eat ; and sometimes it is mouldy and sour before I eat it, if I get any considerable quan tity. Then, again, I have none for some days to gether, for want of an opportunity to send for it, and cannot find my horse in the woods to go myself. This was my case now : but through divine goodness I had some Indian meal, of which I made little cakes, and fried them. Yet I felt contented with my circum stances, and sweetly resigned to God. In prayer I enjoyed great freedom ; and blessed God as much for my present circumstances, as if I had been a king; and thought I found a disposition to be contented in any circumstances. Blessed be the Lord/
The rest of this week, he was exceedingly weak in body, and much exercised with pain ; and yet obliged from day to day to labour hard, to procure fodder for his horse ; excepting some part of the time he was so very ill, that he was neither able to work nor study. But he still speaks of longings after holiness and per fect conformity to God; complains of enjoying but little of God ; yet says, that little was better to him than all the world besides.
* Lord's-day, Aug. 21. Was much straitened in the forenoon exercise: my thoughts seemed to be all scattered to the ends of the earth. At noon I
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fell down before the Lord, and groaned under ray vileness, barrenness, deadness, and felt as if I was guilty of soul-murder, in speaking to immortal souls in such a manner as I had then done. In the after noon, God was pleased to give me some assistance, and I was enabled to set before my hearers the na ture and necessity of true repentance, &c. After wards had some small degree of thankfulness. Was very ill and full of pain in the evening ; and my soul mourned that I had spent so much time to so little profit.
' Tuesday, Aug. 23. Studied in the forenoon, and enjoyed some freedom. In the afternoon, laboured abroad : endeavoured to pray much ; but did not find much intenseness of mind. Towards night was very weary, and tired of this world of sorrow: the thoughts of death and immortality appeared very desirable, and even refreshed my soul. Those lines turned in my mind with pleasure :
Come, death, shake hands;
I'll kiss thy bands ; »Tis happiness for me to die;
What, dost thou think,
That I will shrink ? I '11 go to immortality !
In evening-prayer, God was pleased to draw near my soul, though very sinful and unworthy. I was enabled to wrestle with God, and to persevere in my requests for grace : I poured out my soul for all the world, friends and enemies.
* Wednesday, Aug. 24. Spent some time in the morning in study and prayer. Afterwards, was en gaged in some necessary business abroad. Towards night, found a little time for some particular studies.
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I thought, if God should say, " Cease making any provision for this life, for you shall in a few days go out of time into eternity," my soul would leap for joy. Oh that I may both " desire to be dissolved, to be with Christ," and likewise, " wait patiently all the days of my appointed time till my change come! " But alas, I am very unfit for the business and bless edness of heaven : Oh for more holiness !
* Lord's-day, Aug. 28. Was much perplexed with some irreligious Dutchmen. All their discourse turned upon the things of the world, which occa sioned me no little uneasiness ; what a misery it would be to spend an eternity with such men ! Well might David say, " I beheld the transgressors, and was grieved." But adored be God, heaven is a place into which no unclean thing enters. Oh, I long for the holiness of that world : Lord ! prepare me for it ! '
The next day he set out on a journey to New York. Was rather dejected the first two days of his journey; but seems to have enjoyed some degree of the sensible presence of God.
' Wednesday, Aug. 31. Rode down to Bethlehem: was in a serious and heavenly frame, I hope, when I came there. Eternal things engrossed all my thoughts, and I longed to be in the world of spirits. How happy is it to have all our thoughts swallowed up in that world; to feel one's self a serious consid erate stranger in this world, diligently seeking a road through it ; the best, the surest road to the heavenly Jerusalem.
' Thursday, September 1. Rode to Danbury. Was more dull and dejected in spirit than yesterday. Indeed I always feel comfortably when death and the things of another world are present to my view ; —
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whenever my mind is taken off from the things of this world, and set on God, my soul is then at rest/
He went forward on his journey, and came to New York on the next Monday. After tarrying there two or three days, he set out from the city towards New Haven, intending to be there at the commencement ; and on Friday came to Horse-Neck. In the mean time, he complains much of dulness, and want of fervour in religion : but yet, from time to time, speaks of his enjoying spiritual warmth and pleasure in conversation with Christian friends, assistance in public services, &c.
1 Lord's-day, Sept. 11. In the afternoon, preached from Tit. iii. 8. I think God never helped me more in pointing out true religion, and in detecting clearly, and tenderly discountenancing, false appearances of religion, party zeal, and spiritual pride; as well as a confident dogmatical spirit, and its spring, viz. igno rance of the heart. In the evening, took much pains in private conversation to suppress some confusions which I perceived were amongst that people.
« Tuesday, Sept. 13. Rode to New Haven. Was sometimes dejected ; not in the best frame. I find, though my inward trials are great, and a life of soli tude gives them greater advantage to settle, and pe netrate to the inmost recesses of the soul ; yet it is better to be alone than encumbered with noise and tumult. I find it very difficult to maintain any sense of divine things, while removing from place to place, diverted with new objects and filled with care. A settled steady business is best adapted to a life of strict religion.
' Wednesday, Sept. 14. This day I ought to have taken my degree ; but God sees fit to deny it me.
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And though I was greatly afraid of being over whelmed with perplexity and confusion, when I should see my class-mates take theirs ; yet, in the very season of it, God enabled me with calmness and resignation to say, " The will of the Lord be done." Indeed, through divine goodness, I have scarcely felt my mind so calm, sedate, and comfortable, for some time. I have long feared this season, and expected my humility, meekness, patience, and resignation, would be much tried ; but found much more pleasure and divine comfort than I expected.
' Thursday, Sept. 15. Had some satisfaction in hearing the ministers: it is always a comfort to me to hear religious and spiritual discourse. Oh! that min isters and people were more spiritual and devoted to God!
' Tuesday, Sept. 20. Had thoughts of going for ward on my journey to my Indians; but to wards night was taken with pain in my teeth, and shivering cold, and could not possibly recover a comfortable degree of warmth the whole night following. I continued very full of pain all night : and in the morning had a very high fever, and pains almost all over me. I had a sense of the divine goodness in appointing this to be the place of my sickness, viz. among my friends, who were very kind to me. I should probably have perished, if I had first got home to my own house in the wilderness, where I have none to converse with but the poor rude ignorant Indians. Here I saw was mercy in the midst of affliction. I continued thus, mostly confined to my bed, till Friday night, very full of pain ; but through divine goodness not afraid of death. Then the extreme folly of those appeared to me, who put off their turning to God till a sick-
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bed. Surely this is not a time proper to prepare for eternity. On Friday evening my pains went off rather suddenly ; I was exceedingly weak, and almost fainted; but was very comfortable the night follow ing. These words, Psal. cxviii. 17. I frequently revolved in my mind ; and thought we were to prize the continuation of life only on this account — that we may " show forth God's goodness and works of grace."'
From this time he gradually recovered ; and on the next Tuesday was so well as to be able to go forward on his journey homewards ; but was till the Tuesday following before he reached Kaunaumeek. Great part of this time he seems to have had a very deep sense of the vanity and emptiness of all things here below, and of the reality, nearness, and vast import ance of eternal things.
* Tuesday, October 4. This day rode home to my own house and people. The poor Indians appeared very glad of my return. Found my house and all things in safety. I presently fell on my knees, and blessed God for my safe return, after a long and tedious journey, and a season of sickness, in several places where I had been, and after I had been sick myself. God has renewed his kindness to me, in preserving me one journey more. I have taken many considerable journeys since this time last year, and yet God has never suffered one of my bones to be broken, or any distressing calamity to befall me, ex cepting the illness I had in my last journey : though I have been often exposed to cold and hunger in the wilderness, where the comforts of life were not to be had : have frequently been lost in the woods, and sometimes obliged to ride much of the night ; and
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once lay out in the woods all night! Blessed be that God that has thus preserved me !'
In his diary for the next eleven days, are great complaints of distance from God, spiritual pride, corruption, and exceeding vileness. He once says, his heart was so oppressed with a sense of his pollution, that he could scarcely have the assurance to desire that God should not cast him oft' for ever. At an other time he says, he had so little sense of God, or apprehension and relish of his glory and excellency, that it made him more disposed to kindness and tenderness towards those who are blind and ignorant of God, and of things divine and heavenly.
* Lord's-day, Oct. 16. In the evening, God was pleased to give me a feeling sense of my own unwor- thiness ; but through divine goodness such as tended to draw, rather than drive me from God : it filled me with deep solemnity. I retired alone, (having at this time a friend with me,) and poured out my soul to God with much freedom ; and yet in anguish, to find myself so unspeakably sinful and unworthy be fore a holy God. Was now much resigned under God's dispensations towards me, though my trials had been very great. But thought whether I could be resigned if God should sufl'er the French Indians to come upon me, and deprive me of my life, or carry me away captive, (though I knew of no special reason, then, to propose this trial to myself, more than any other ;) and my soul seemed so far to rest and ac quiesce in God, that the sting and terror of these things seemed in a great measure gone. Presently after I came to the Indians, whom I was teaching to sing psalm-tunes that evening, I received the follow ing letter from Stockbridge, by a messenger sent on
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the Sabbath on purpose, which made it appear of greater importance : —
' SIR,
' Just now we received advices from Col. Stod- dard, that there is the utmost danger of a rupture with Fiance. He has received the same from his excellency our governor, ordering him to give notice to all the exposed places, that they may secure themselves the best they can against any sudden invasion. We thought best to send directly to Kaunaumeek, that you may take proper measures for your safety that dwell there. I am, sir, &c/
' Upon reading the contents, I thought it came in a good season; for my heart seemed fixed OH God, and therefore I was not much surprised : but this news only made me more serious, and taught me that I must not please myself with any of the comforts of life which I had been preparing for my support. Blessed be God, who gave me any intenseness and fervency this evening,
' Friday, Oct. 21. Returned home to Kaunau meek : was glad to get alone in my little cottage, and to cry to that God who seeth in secret, and is present in a wilderness.
' Lord's-day, Oct. 23. In the morning, had a little dawn of comfort arising from the hope of seeing glorious days in the church of God : was enabled to pray for it with some degree of fervency. In the forenoon, treated on the glories of heaven ; in the afternoon, on the miseries of hell, and the danger of going there. Had some freedom and warmth both parts of the day ; the people were very attentive. In the evening, two or three came to me under serious
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concern. I was enabled to discourse closely and earnestly with them : Oh ! that God would be mer ciful to their poor souls ! '
He seems, through the whole of this week, to have been greatly concerned to fill up every inch of time in the service of God, and to have been most diligently employed in study, prayer, and instructing the Indians ; and from time to time expresses long ings of soul after God, and the advancement of his kingdom.
' Monday, Oct. 31. Rode to Kinderhook, about fifteen miles from my place. While riding, I felt some divine sweetness in the thoughts of being " a pillar in the temple of God" in the upper world, and being no more deprived of his blessed presence, and the sense of his favour, which is better than life. My soul was so lifted up to God, that I could pour out my desires to him, for more grace and further degrees of sanctification, with abundant freedom. I longed to be more prepared for that blessedness, with which I was then in some measure refreshed. Re turned home in the evening, but took a bad cold by riding in the night.
' Tuesday, Nov. 1. Was very much disordered in body, and sometimes full of pain in my face and teeth: was not able to study much, and had but little spiritual comfort. Alas, when God has withdrawn, all is gone!
4 Wednesday, Nov. 2. Was still more indisposed in body, and in much pain most of the day : had not much comfort ; was scarcely able to study at all, and still entirely alone in the wilderness. But, blessed be the Lord, that I am not exposed in the open air. I have a house, and many of the comforts of life to
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support me. I have learned, in a measure, that all good things, relating both to time and eternity, come from God. — In the evening, had some degree of quickening in prayer : I think God gave me some sense of his presence.
' Thursday, Nov. 3. Spent this day in secret fast ing and prayer, from morning till night. Was enabled to wrestle with God in prayer, in a more affectionate, fervent, humble, intense, and importu nate manner, than I have for many months past. Nothing seemed too hard for God to perform ; no thing too great for me to expect from him. I had for many months entirely lost all hopes of being made instrumental in doing any special service for God in the world; it has appeared entirely impossi ble, that one so vile should be thus employed for God. But at this time God was pleased to revive this hope.
4 Friday, Nov. 4. Rode to Kinderhook ; went quite to Hudson's River, about twenty miles from my house ; performed some business, and returned home in the evening to my own house. I had rather ride hard, and fatigue myself, to get home, than spend the evening and night amongst those that have no regard for God/
The next two days he was very ill and full of pain, probably through his riding in the night, after a fatiguing day's journey on Thursday : but yet seems to have been diligent in business.
' Thursday, Nov. 10. Spent this day in fasting and prayer alone. In the morning, was very dull, lifeless, and discouraged. After some time reading 2 Kings, chap. xix. my soul was moved and affected ; especially reading verse 14, and onward. I saw there H
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was no other way for the afflicted children of God to take, but to go to God with all their sorrows. Heze- kiah, in his great distress, went and spread his com plaint before the Lord. I was then enabled to see the mighty power of God, and to cry to God affec tionately and ardently for his divine power and grace to be exercised towards me. Afterwards read the story of David's trials, and observed the course he took under them, how he strengthened his hands in God; whereby my soul was carried out after God, enabled to cry to him, and rely upon him, and felt strong in the Lord. Was afterwards refreshed, observing the blessed temper that was wrought in David by his trials : all bitterness and desire of revenge seemed wholly taken away; so that he mourned for the death of his enemies : 2 Sam. i. 17, and iv. 9. Was enabled to bless God, that he had given me something of this divine temper, that my soul freely forgives, and heartily loves my enemies.'
It appears by his diary for the remainder of this week, and for the two following weeks, that great part of the time he was very ill and full of pain : and yet obliged, through his circumstances, in this ill state of body, to undergo great fatigues in labour, travelling day and night, and to expose himself in stormy and severe seasons. He from time to time speaks of outgoings of soul after God ; his heart strengthened in God ; seasons of divine sweetness and comfort ; his heart affected with gratitude for mercies, &c. And yet there are many complaints of lifelessness, weakness of grace, distance from God, and great unprofitableness* Still there appears a constant care, from day to day, not to lose time, but to improve it all for God.
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* Lord's-day, Nov. 27. In the evening was greatly affected in reading an account of the very joyful death of a pious gentleman, which seemed to in vigorate my soul in God's ways. I felt courageously engaged to pursue a life of holiness and self-denial as long as I live, and poured out my soul to God for his help and assistance.
* Tuesday, Nov. 29. Began to study the Indian tongue with Mr. Sergeant at Stockbridge. Was per plexed for want of more retirement. I love to live alone in my own little cottage, where I can spend much time in prayer.
' Wednesday, Nov. 30. Pursued my study of the Indian tongue; but was very weak and disordered in tody, and troubled in mind at the barrenness of the day, that I had done so little for God. I had some enlargement in prayer at night. Oh, a barn, or stable, hedge, or any other place, is truly desirable, if God is there ! Sometimes, of late, my hopes of Zion's prosperity are more raised than they were in the summer past. My soul seems to confide in God, that he will yet " show forth his salvation" to his people, and make Zion " the joy of the whole earth." Oh, how excellent is the loving-kindness of the Lord ! My soul sometimes inwardly exults at the lively thoughts of what God has already done for his church, and what mine eyes have seen of the salva tion of God. It is sweet to hear nothing but spiritual discourse from God's children; and sinners inquiring the way to Zion, saying. What shall we do? Oh, that I may see more of this blessed work !
' Monday, Dec. 5. Rode to Stockbridge. Was nearly overdone with the extreme cold. Had some refreshing meditations by the way ; but was barren, H 2
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wandering, and lifeless, much of the day. Thus my days roll away, with but little done for God: and this is my burden.
' Wednesday, Dec. 7. Spent the evening in per plexity, with a kind of guilty indolence. When I have no heart or resolution for God, and the duties incumbent on me, I feel guilty of negligence and misimprovement of time. Certainly I ought to be engaged in my work and business, to the utmost ex tent of my strength and ability.'
The next fourteen days, he appears to have been continually in deep concern about the improvement of precious time ; and there are many expressions of grief that he improved time no better ; such as, ' Oh what misery do I feel when my thoughts rove after vanity ! I should be happy if always engaged for God ! Oh wretched man that I am ! ' He speaks of his being pained with a sense of his barrenness, perplexed with his wanderings, longing for deliver ance from the burden of sin, mourning that time passed away, and so little was done for God. On Tuesday, December 20, he speaks of his being visited at Kau- naumeek by some under spiritual concern.
' Thursday, Dec. 22. Spent this day alone in fast ing and prayer, and reading in God's word the exer cises and deliverances of God's children. Had, I trust, some exercise of faith, and realizing apprehen sion of divine power, grace, and holiness ; and also of the unchangeableness of God, that he is the same as he was when he delivered his saints of old out of great tribulation. My soul was at sundry times enlarged for God's church and people. Oh that Zion might become the " joy of the whole earth ! " It is better to wait upon God with patience, than to
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put confidence in any thing in this world. " My soul, wait thou on the Lord ; from him cometh thy salvation."
* Lord's day, Dec. 25. Prayed much in the morn ing, with a feeling sense of my own spiritual weak ness and insufficiency for any duty. God gave me some assistance in preaching to the Indians, espe cially in the afternoon, when I was enabled to speak with uncommon plainness, freedom, and earnestness. Blessed be God for any assistance granted to one so unworthy. Afterwards felt some thankfulness, but still sensible of barrenness. Spent some time in the evening with one or two persons under spiritual con cern, and exhorting others to their duty, &c.
' Wednesday, Dec. 28. Rode about six miles to the ordination of Mr. Hopkins. During the solemnity I was somewhat affected with a sense of the great ness and importance of the work of a minister of Christ. Afterwards was grieved to see the vanity of the multitude. In the evening, spent a little time with some Christian friends, with some degree of satisfaction ; but most of the time I had rather have been alone.
' Thursday, Dec. 29. Spent the day chiefly in conversing with friends ; yet enjoyed little satisfac tion, because I could find but few disposed to con verse on divine and heavenly things. Alas! what are things of this world, to afford satisfaction to the soul ! — Near night returned to Stockbridge; in secret, blessed God for retirement, and that I am not always exposed to the company and conversation of the world. Oh that I could live in the secret of God's
presence
' Lord's-day, January 1, 1743-4. In the morning.
102 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD .'
had some small degree of assistance in prayer. Saw myself so vile and unworthy, that I could not look my people in the face when I came to preach. Oh, my meanness, folly, ignorance, and inward pollution! In the evening had a little assistance in prayer, so that the duty was delightsome, rather than burden some. Reflected on the goodness of God to me in the past year. Of a truth God has been kind and gracious to me, though he has caused me to pass through many sorrows ; he has provided for me boun tifully, so that I have been enabled, in about fifteen months past, to bestow on charitable uses about a hun dred pounds in New England money, that I can now remember. Blessed be the Lord, who has so far used me as his steward, to distribute a portion of his goods. May I always remember, that all I have comes from him. Blessed be the Lord, who has carried me through all the toils, fatigues, and hardships of the year past, as well as the spiritual sorrows and con flicts that have attended it. Oh that I could begin this year with God, and spend the whole of it to his glory, either in life or death !
' Tuesday, Jan. 3. Was employed much of the day in writing ; and spent some time in other necessary employment. My time passes away so swiftly that I am astonished when I reflect on it, and see how little I do in it. My state of solitude does not make the hours hang heavy upon my hands. Oh what reason of thankfulness have I on account of this retirement! I find that I do not, and it seems I cannot, lead a Christian life when I am abroad, and cannot spend time in devotion, Christian conversation, and serious meditation, as I should do. Those weeks that I am obliged now to be from home, in order to learn the
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Indian tongue, are mostly spent in perplexity and barrenness, without much relish of divine things; and I feel myself a stranger to the throne of grace, for want of more frequent and continued retirement. When I return home, and give myself to meditation, prayer, and fasting, a new scene opens to me ; and my soul longs for mortification, self-denial, humility, and divorcement from all the things of the world. This evening my heart was somewhat warm and fer vent in prayer and meditation, so that I was loath to indulge sleep. Continued in those duties till about midnight.
* Friday, Jan. 6. Feeling and considering my ex treme weakness and want of grace, the pollution of my soul, and danger of temptations on every side, I set apart this day for fasting and prayer, neither eat ing nor drinking from evening to evening, beseeching God to have mercy on me ; and my soul intensely longed that the dreadful spots and stains of sin might be washed away. Saw something of the power and all-sufficiency of God. My soul seemed to rest on his power and grace ; longed for resignation to his will, and mortification to all things here below. My mind was greatly fixed on divine things; my resolutions for a life of mortification, continual watchfulness, self-denial, seriousness, and devotion to God, were strong and fixed ; my desires ardent and intense ; my conscience tender, and afraid of every appearance of evil. My soul grieved at the remembrance of past levity, and want of resolution for God. I solemnly renewed the dedication of myself to him, and longed for grace to enable me always to keep covenant with him. Time appeared very short, eternity near; and a great name, either in or after life, together with all
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earthly pleasures and profits, but an empty bubble, a deluding- dream.
' Saturday, Jan. 7. Spent this day in seriousness, with stedfast resolutions for God and a life of mor tification. Studied closely, till I felt my bodily strength fail. Felt some degree of resignation to God, with an acquiescence in his dispensations; was grieved that I could do so little for God before my bodily strength failed. Spent the time in reading, meditation, and prayer, till the evening was far spent: was grieved to think that I could not " watch unto prayer " the whole night. But, blessed be God, heaven is a place of continual and incessant devo tion, though earth is dull.
' Saturday, Jan. 14. This morning enjoyed a most solemn season in prayer : my soul seemed enlarged, and assisted to pour out itself to God for grace, and for every blessing needed for myself, my dear Chris tian friends, and for the church of God ; and was so enabled to see him who was invisible, that my soul rested upon him for the performance of every thing I asked agreeable to his will. It was then my happiness to " continue instant in prayer," and was enabled to continue in it for near an hour. My soul was then " strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might." Longed exceedingly for angelic holiness and purity, and to have my thoughts at all times employed in divine and heavenly things.'
The next day he speaks of some glimpses he had of the divine glories, and of his being enabled to maintain his resolutions in some measure ; but com plains that he could not draw near to God : seems to be filled with trembling fears lest he should return to a life of vanity, to please himself with some of the
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enjoyments of this lower world ; and speaks of his being much troubled, and feeling guilty, that he should address immortal souls with no more ardency and desire for their salvation. On Monday he rode down to Stockbridge, was distressed with the extreme cold ; yet his mind was in a devout and solemn frame during his journey. The four next days he was very ill, probably from his suffering from the cold in his journey ; yet he says he spent the time in a more solemn manner than he expected. On Friday evening he rode down and visited Mr. Hopkins ; and on Saturday rode eighteen miles to Salisbury, where he kept the Sabbath, and enjoyed consider able degrees of God's gracious presence, assistance in duty, and divine comfort arid refreshment, long ing to give himself wholly to God, to be his for ever.
' Tuesday, Jan. 24. Near noon, rode over to Ca naan. In the e\ening was unexpectedly visited by a considerable number of people, with whom I was enabled to converse profitably of divine things. Took pains to describe the difference between a regular and irregular self-love : the one consisting writh supreme love to God, the other not ; the former uniting God's glory and the soul's happiness, that they become one common interest, but the latter dis joining and separating God's glory and man's hap piness ; seeking the latter with a neglect of the former. Illustrated this by that genuine love that is found between the sexes ; which is diverse from that which is wrought up by rational arguments only, or the hope of self-interest. Love is a pleasing passion ; it affords pleasure to the mind where it is : yet genuine love is not, nor can be placed upon any object, with
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the design of being pleased with the feeling of it in a man's own breast.'
On Wednesday he rode to Sheffield ; the next day to Stockbridge ; and on Saturday, home to Kau- naumeek, though the season was cold and stormy. The journey was followed with illness and pain. It appears by his diary that he spent the time, while riding, in profitable meditations, and in lifting up his heart to God ; and he speaks of assistance, comfort, and refreshment, though still complaining of barren ness. His diary for the five next days is full of bitter complaints ; he expresses himself as full of shame and self-loathing for his lifeless temper and sluggishness of spirit, and as being in perplexity and extremity, appearing to himself unspeakably vile and guilty before God, on account of some inward workings of corruption.
* Friday, February 3. Enjoyed more freedom and comfort than of late ; was intensely engaged in medi tation upon the different whispers of the various powers and affections of a pious mind, exercised with a great variety of dispensations.1 I could not but write, as well as meditate, on so entertaining a sub ject. I hope the Lord gave me some true sense of divine things this day : but alas, how great and pres sing are the remains of indwelling corruption ! I am now more sensible than ever that God alone is " the author and finisher of faith," that is, that the whole and every part of sanctification, and every good word, work, or thought, that is found in me, is the effect of his power and grace ; that " without him I can do nothing," in the strictest sense, and that
J See Appendix.
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" he works in us to will and to do of his own good pleasure," and from no other motive. Oh how amazing it is that people can talk so much about men's power and goodness ; when, if God did not hold us back every moment, we should be devils incarnate ! This my bitter experience, for several days past, has abundantly taught me concerning myself.
* Lord's-day, Feb. 5. Was enabled in some mea sure to rest and confide in God ; to prize his presence, and even some glimpses of the light of his counte nance, above my necessary food. After the season of weakness, temptation, and desertion I endured last week, I thought myself to be somewhat like Sampson when his locks began to grow again. Was enabled to preach with more life and warmth than I have done for some weeks past.
' Tuesday, Feb. 7. Was much engaged in medi tating on the powers and affections of the godly soul, in pursuing its beloved object. Wrote something of the native language of spiritual sensation, in its soft and tender whispers : declaring that it now feels and " tastes that the Lord is gracious ;?" that he is the supreme good, the only soul-satisfying happiness ; that he is a complete, sufficient, and almighty por tion, saying, " Whom have I in heaven but thee ; and there is none upon earth that I desire besides thee." I feel it is heaven to please him, and to be just what he would have me to be. Oh that my soul were holy as he is holy; oh that it were pure even as Christ is pure ; and perfect as my Father in heaven is perfect ! These, I feel, are the sweetest commands in God's book, comprising all others. And shall I break them? Must I break them? Am I under
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such a necessity as long; as I live in the world ? Wo, wo is me that I am a sinner ; because I now grieve and offend this blessed God, who is infinite in good ness and grace ! Oh, if he would punish me for my sins, it would not wound my heart so deep to offend him ; but though I sin continually, yet he continually repeats his kindness to me ! Methinks I could bear any suffering ; but how can 1 bear to grieve and dis honour this blessed God! How shall I yield ten thousand times more honour to him ? What shall I do to glorify and worship this best of beings? Oh that I could consecrate my self, soul and body, to his service for ever ; could give up myself to him, so as never more to attempt to be my own, or to have any will or affections that are not perfectly conformed to his ! But alas ! I find I cannot be thus entirely devoted to God ! I cannot live, and not sin. Oh ye angels, do ye glorify him incessantly ; and if possible prostrate yourselves lower before the blessed King of heaven. I long to bear a part with you ; and, were it possible, to help you. But when we have done all we can, to all eternity, we shall not be able to offer the ten thousandth part of the homage that the glorious God deserves/
' Thursday, Feb. 9. Observed this day as a day of fasting and prayer, entreating of God to bestow upon me his blessing and grace ; especially to enable me to live a life of mortification to the world, as well as of resignation and patience.
' Friday, Feb. 10. Was exceedingly oppressed most of the>day, with shame, grief, and fear, under a sense of my past folly, as well as present barrenness and coldness. When God sets before me my past misconduct, especially any instances of misguided
FIRST YEAR OF HIS MISSION. 109
zeal, it sinks my soul into shame and confusion, and makes me afraid of a shaking leaf. In the evening; I was unexpectedly refreshed in pouring out my com plaint to God ; my shame and fear were turned into sweet composure and acquiescence in God.
' Monday, Feb. 13. Was calm and sedate in morning-devotions ; and my soul seemed to rely on God. Rode to Stockbridge, and enjoyed some com fortable meditations by the way ; had a more refresh ing taste and relish of heavenly blessedness than I have enjoyed for many months past. I have at times, of late, felt as ardent desires after holiness as ever, though not so much sensible enjoyment. My soul longed to leave earth, and bear a part with angels in their celestial employments. I said " Lord, it is good to be here ; " and it appeared to me better to die, than to lose the relish of these heavenly de lights.'
A sense of divine things seemed to continue with him, in a lesser degree, through the next day. On Wednesday he was, by some discourse that he heard, cast into a melancholy gloom, which operated much in the same manner as his melancholy had formerly done when he came first to Kaunaumeek ; the effects of which seemed to continue in some degree the six following days.
* Wednesday, Feb. 22. In the morning, had as clear a sense of the exceeding pollution of my nature as ever I remember to have had in my life. I then appeared to myself inexpressibly loathsome and defiled ; sins of childhood, of early youth, and such follies as I had not thought of for years together, came now fresh to my view, as if committed but yesterday, and appeared in the most odious colours.
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They appeared more in number than the hairs of my head ; yea, they went over me as a heavy burden. In the evening, the hand of faith seemed to be strengthened in God; my soul rested and acquiesced in him. I was supported under my burdens, by reading the 125th Psalm; found that it was sweet and comfortable to lean on God.
* Friday, Feb. 24. Was exceedingly restless and perplexed under a sense of the misimprovement of time ; mourned to see time pass away. I could not compose my mind to any profitable studies, by rea son of this pressure. And the reason, I judge, why I am not allowed to study a great part of my time, is, because I am endeavouring to lay in such a stock of knowledge as shall nourish self-sufficiency. I know it to be my indispensable duty to study, and qualify myself in the best manner I can for public service : but this is my misery, I naturally study and prepare, that I may " consume it upon my lusts" of pride and self-confidence.'
He continued in much the same frame of uneasi ness at the misimprovement of time, and pressure of spirit under a sense of vileness and unprofitableness, for the six following days ; excepting some intervals of calmness and composure, in resignation to, and confidence in God.
' Friday, March 2. Was most of the day employed in writing on a divine subject. Was frequent in prayer, and enjoyed some small degree of assistance. But in the evening, God was pleased to grant me a divine sweetness in prayer; especially in the duty of intercession. I think I never felt so much kindness and love to those who I have reason to believe are my enemies, (though at that time I found such a
FIRST YEAR OF HIS MISSION. Ill
disposition to think the best of all, that I scarce knew how to think that any such thing as enmity and hatred lodged in any soul ; it seemed as if all the world must needs be friends ;) and never prayed with more free dom and delight for myself, or dearest friends, than I did now for my enemies.
' Saturday, March 3. In the morning, spent an hour in prayer, with great intenseness and freedom, and with the most soft and tender affection towards mankind. I longed that those who bear me ill-will, might be eternally happy: it seemed refreshing to think of meeting them in heaven, how much soever they had injured me on earth : had no disposition to insist upon any confession from them in order to re conciliation, nor of the exercise of love and kindness from them. Oh it is an emblem of heaven itself, to love all the world with a love of forgiveness and be nevolence; to feel our souls sedate, mild, and meek; to be void of all evil surmisings and suspicions, and scarce able to think evil of any man upon any occa sion; to find our hearts simple, open, and free, to those that look upon us with a different eye. Prayer was so sweet an exercise to me, that I knew not how to cease, lest I should lose the spirit of prayer. Felt no disposition to eat or drink, for the sake of the pleasure of it, but only to support my nature, and fit me for divine service. Could not be content without a very particular mention of a great number of dear friends at the throne of grace; as also the particular circumstances of many so far as they were known.
' Lord's-day, March 4. In the morning, enjoyed the same intenseness in prayer as yesterday, though not in so great a degree: felt the same spirit of love, universal benevolence, forgiveness, humility, resig-
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nation, mortification to the world, and composure of mind, as then.
' Saturday, March 10. In the morning, felt ex ceedingly dead to the world and all its enjoyments. Thought I was ready and willing to give up life and all its comforts, as soon as called to it; and yet I had then as much comfort of life as almost ever I had. Life itself now appeared but an empty bubble ; the riches, honours, and common enjoyments of life, ap peared extremely tasteless. I longed to be perpetu ally and entirely crucified to all things here below, by the cross of Christ. My soul was sweetly resigned to God's disposal of me, in every respect; and I saw that nothing had happened to me but what was best. I confided in God, that he would " never leave me," though I should " walk through the valley of the shadow of death." It was then my meat and drink to be holy, to live to the Lord, and die to the Lord. And I thought that I then enjoyed such a heaven, as far exceeded the most sublime conceptions of an unregenerate soul ; and even unspeakably beyond what I myself could conceive of at another time. I did not wonder that Peter said, " Lord, it is good to be here," when thus refreshed with divine glories. My soul was full of love and tenderness in the duty of intercession ; especially felt a most sweet ail'ection to some precious godly ministers of my acquaintance. Prayed earnestly for dear Christians, and for those I have reason to fear are my enemies. I could not have spoken a word of bitterness, or entertained a bitter thought, against the vilest man living.
* Lord's-day, March 11. My soul was in some measure strengthened in God in morning devotion ; so that I was released from trembling, fear, and dis-
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tress. Preached from the parable of the sower, Matt. xiii. Enjoyed some assistance both parts of the day; had some freedom, affection, and fervency in addressing my poor people; longed that God should take hold of their hearts, and make them spiritually alive. Indeed I had so much to say to them, that I knew not how to leave off speaking.
' Monday, March 12. In the morning was in a devout, tender, and loving frame of mind; enabled to cry to God, I hope, with a child-like spirit, with im portunity, resignation, and composure of mind. My spirit was fuli of quietness and love to mankind, and longed that peace should reign on the earth ; was grieved at the very thoughts of a fiery and intem perate zeal in religion ; mourned over past follies in that respect, and my soul confided in God for strength and grace sufficient for my future work and trials. Spent the day chiefly in hard labour, making prepa ration for my intended journey.
* Thursday, March 15. Rode down to Sheffield. Here I met a messenger from East Hampton on Long Island, who, by the unanimous vote of that large town, was sent to invite me thither, in order to settle with that people, where I had before been frequently invited. Seemed more at a loss what was my duty than before. When I heard of the great difficulties of that place, I was much concerned and grieved, and felt some desires to comply with their request; but knew not what to do. Endeavoured to commit the case to God.
' Lord's-day, March 18. At Salisbury. Was ex ceeding weak and faint, so that I could scarcely walk ; but God was pleased to afl'ord me much freedom, clearness, and fervency in preaching. I have not had
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the like assistance in preaching to sinners for many months past. Here another messenger met me, and informed me of the vote of another congregation, to give me an invitation to come among them upon probation for settlement. Was greatly exercised in mind with a weight and burden of care. Oh that God would " send forth faithful labourers into his harvest!"
Two letters which Brainerd wrote to his brothers, about this time, will further manifest his devoted- ness to his great work, and his tender anxiety for the real happiness and the usefulness of his dearest relatives. The first is addressed to his brother John, at Yale College.
Kaunaumeek, Dec. 27, 1743. ' DEAR BROTHER,
' I long to see you, and to know how you fare in your journey through a world of inexpressible sorrow, where we are compassed about with vanity, confu sion, and vexation of spirit. I am more weary of life, I think, than ever I was. The whole world appears to me like a vast empty space, whence no thing desirable, or at least satisfactory, can possibly be derived ; and I long daily to die more and more to it, even though I obtain not that comfort from spiritual things which I earnestly desire. Worldly pleasures, such as flow from greatness, riches, ho nours, and sensual gratifications, are infinitely worse than none. May the Lord deliver us more and more from these vanities !
4 I have spent most of the fall and winter hitherto in a very weak state of body ; and sometimes under pressing inward trials and spiritual conflicts : but,
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having obtained help from God, I continue to this day, and am now something better in health than I was some time ago.
' I find nothing more conducive to a life of Chris tianity, than a diligent, industrious, and faithful im provement of precious time. Let us then faithfully perform that business which is allotted to us by Divine Providence, to the utmost of our bodily strength and mental vigour. Why should we sink, and grow discouraged, with any particular trials and perplexities which we are called to encounter in the world? Death and eternity are just before us. A few tossing billows more will waft us into the world of spirits, and we hope, through infinite grace, into endless pleasures, and uninterrupted rest and peace. " Let us then run with patience the race set before us." Heb. xii. 1, 2. And, oh ! that we could depend more upon the living God, and less upon our own wisdom and strength !
' Dear brother, may the God of all grace comfort your heart, and succeed your studies, and make you an instrument of good to his people in your day. This is the constant prayer of
' Your affectionate brother,
* DAVID BRAINERD/
The second letter was addressed to his brother Israel, at Haddam.
Kaunaumeek, Jan. 28, 1743-4. * MY DEAR BROTHER,
' There is but one thing that deserves our highest care and most ardent desires ; and that is, that we may answer the great end for which we were made —
I 2
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to glorify that God who has given us our being and all our comforts, and to do all the good we possibly can to our fellow-men while we live in the world : and, verily, life is not worth the having, if it be not im proved for these noble ends. Yet, alas ! how little is this thought of among mankind ! Most men seem to live to themselves, without much regard to the glory of God, or the good of their fellow-creatures; they earnestly desire and eagerly pursue the riches, the honours, and the pleasures of life, as if they really supposed that wealth or greatness, or merri ment, could make their immortal souls happy. But, alas ! what false and delusive dreams are these ! And how miserable will those ere long be, who are not awaked out of them, to see that all their happi ness consists in living to God, and becoming holy as He is holy !
' Oh ! may you never fall into the tempers and vanities, the sensuality and folly, of the present world ! You are, by divine Providence, left, as it were, alone in a wide world, to act for yourself: be sure, then, to remember that it is a world of temptation. You have no earthly parents to be the means of forming your youth to piety and virtue, by their pious examples and seasonable counsels ; let this, then, excite you with greater diligence and fervency, to look up to the Father of Mercies for grace and assistance against all the vanities of the world.
' And, if you would glorify God, answer his just expectations from you, and make your own soul happy in this and the coming world, observe these few directions ; though not from a father, yet from a brother who is touched with a tender concern for your present and future happiness. And, —
LETTERS. 11?
' First, — Resolve upon, and daily endeavour to practise a life of seriousness and strict sobriety. The wise man will tell you the great advantage of such a life. Eccl. vii. 3. Think of the life of Christ; and, when you can find that he was pleased with jesting and vain merriment, then you may indulge in it yourself.
' Again, he careful to make a good improvement of precious time. When you cease from labour, fill up your time in reading, meditation, and prayer ; and, while your hands are labouring, let your heart be employed, as much as possible, in divine thoughts.
' Further, take heed that you faithfully perform the business you have to do in the world from a regard to the commands of God, and not from an ambitious desire of being esteemed better than others. We should always look upon ourselves as God's servants, placed in God's world, to do his work : and, accordingly, labour faithfully for him ; not with a design to grow rich and great, but to glorify God, and do all the good we possibly can.
' Again, never expect any satisfaction or happi ness from the world. If you hope for happiness in the world, hope for it from God, and not from the world. Do not think that you shall be more happy if you live to such-or-such a state of life, if you live to be for yourself, to be settled in the world, or if you should gain an estate in it ; but look upon it that you shall then be happy, when you can be constantly employed for God and not for yourself; and desire to live in the world, only to do and suffer what God allots to you. When you can be of the spirit and temper of angels, who are willing to come
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down to this lower world to perform what God com mands them, though their desires are heavenly, and not in the least set on earthly things, then you will be of that temper that you ought to have. Col. iii. 2.
'• Once more, never think that you can live to God by your own power or strength ; but always look to, and rely on him for assistance, yea, for all strength and grace. There is no greater truth than this, that we can do nothing of ourselves. John xv. 5, and 2 Cor. iii. 5. Yet nothing but our own experience can effectually teach it to us. Indeed we are a long time in learning that all our strength and salvation is in God. This is a life that I think no unconverted man can possibly live : and yet it is a life that every godly soul is pressing after, in some good measure. Let it be, then, your great concern thus to devote yourself and your all to God.
' I long to see you, that I may say much more to you than I now can, for your benefit and welfare ; but I desire to commit you to, and leave you with, the Father of Mercies and God of all grace ; praying that you may be directed safely through an evil world to God's heavenly kingdom,
' I am your affectionate loving brother,
'DAVID BRAINERD.'
During this first year, Brainerd encountered, as we have seen, many hardships ; though frequently ill and full of pain, and little able to meet difficulties of the kind to which he was exposed. Often he was fatigued by labour, and by travelling day and night, and in stormy and bitter seasons. The extreme cold to which he was occasionally exposed in his journies,
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produced severe indisposition. Sometimes he was obliged, from day to day, to labour hard to procure fodder for his horse : at others, he was so ill, that he was able neither to work nor to study.
All this while he was most diligent in occupying every portion of his time in the service of God. Though he frequently complains of his unprofitable ness, yet it is manifest that there were no idle days or hours with him. ' My days roll away,' he com plained, ' with but little done for God : and this is my burden.'
A few months before his removal from Kaunau- meek, he began to study the Indian tongue. The correspondents directed him, for that purpose, to spend much time that winter with Mr. Sergeant. This obliged him very often to ride backwards and forwards, twenty miles, through the uninhabited woods which lay between Stockbridge and Kaunau- meek, by which he was many times exposed to ex treme hardship in the inclement seasons of the winter.
The Indians at Kaunaumeek being but few in number; and Brainerd having prevailed upon them, after labouring a year among them, to remove to Stockbridge, where they might be under the care and ministry of Mr. Sergeant ; he thought he might promote the kingdom of his Lord more effectually elsewhere. His own account of this matter follows : —
* When I had spent nearly a year with the Indians, I informed them that I expected to leave them in the spring then approaching ; and to be sent to another tribe of Indians, at a great distance from them : upon hearing of which they appeared very sorrowful, and some of them endeavoured to persuade me to con tinue with them ; urging, that they had now heard so
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much about their souls' concerns, that they could never more be willing to live as they had done, with out a minister, and further instructions in the way to heaven. Whereupon I told them, they ought to be willing that others also should hear about their souls' concerns, seeing those needed it as much as them selves. Yet further to dissuade me from going, they added, that those Indians to whom I had thoughts of going (as they had heard) were not willing to become Christians, as they were, and therefore urged me to tarry with them. I then told them, that they might receive further instruction without me ; but the Indians, to whom I expected to be sent, could not, there being no minister near to teach them. And hereupon I advised them, in case I should leave them, and be sent elsewhere, to remove to Stock- bridge, where they might be supplied with land and conveniences of living, and be under the ministry of Mr. Sergeant: which advice and proposal they seemed disposed to comply with/
In the latter part of March, he took a journey to New Jersey, to lay his wishes before the correspon dents ; who determined that he should, without delay, leave Kaunaumeek, and proceed to his first-appointed station among the Delaware Indians.
Before he proceeded on this journey to New Jersey, he preached to his poor Indians from the parable of the Sower ; and felt, as he expressed himself, that he had so much to say to them, that he knew not how to leave off speaking. He had taken great pains with them, and had taught them with much discre tion. This was his last Sabbath and his last sermon among them.
While on this journey, Brainerd received very
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urgent invitations to settle as minister over different congregations. It was not, therefore, from necessity, or for want of opportunity of establishing himself as a minister among the English, notwithstanding the disgrace under which he bad been laid at college, that he determined to forsake all the comforts of the English settlements, to encounter the difficulties and self-denials of an Indian mission. At his first stage from Kaunaumeek, a messenger met him from East Hampton on Long Island, the most eligible station in the whole island, conveying the unanimous wish of the inhabitants of that large town, that he would settle among them as their pastor: for a longtime they continued to urge their request, and were with difficulty brought to give up the hope of obtaining him. A few days afterward, another messenger met him, with a similar invitation from Millington, near his birth-place, and in the midst of his friends. These invitations lay with some burden on his mind ; but he committed himself to God, and went on his way.
Nor did Brainerd choose the occupation of a mis sionary to the Indians, rather than accept of those invitations which were pressed on him, because he was unacquainted with the difficulties and sufferings of such a service; for he had passed through, as we have seen, a course of outward and inward sorrows, which were now fresh in his mind.
We shall close this account of Brainerd's first year of service, by his own statement of the method and success of his labours among the Indians, addressed to the Rev. E. Pemberton.
' As to the state or temper of mind in which I found these Indians at my first coming among them, I may
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justly say, it was much more desirable and encou raging than what appears among those who are altogether uncultivated. Their heathenish jealousies and suspicions, and their prejudices against Chris tianity had been, in a great measure, removed by the long-continued labours of Mr. Sergeant among a number of the same tribe, in a place little more than twenty miles distant : by which means these were, in some good degree, prepared to enter tain the truths of Christianity, instead of objecting against them, and appearing almost entirely untrac- table, as is common with them at first, and as per haps these appeared a few years ago. Some of them at least appeared very well-disposed toward religion, and seemed much pleased with my coming among them.
* In my labours with them, in order " to turn them from darkness to light," I studied what was most plain and easy, and best suited to their capacities ; and endeavoured to set before them, from time to time, as they were able to receive them, the most important and necessary truths of Christianity ; such as more immediately concerned their speedy conver sion to God, and such as I judged had the greatest tendency (as means) to effect that glorious change in them.
' But, especially, I made it the scope and drift of all my labours, to lead them into a thorough acquaint ance with these two things :
' First, The sinfulness and misery of the state they were naturally in, the evil of their hearts, the pollu tion of their natures, the heavy guilt they were under, and their exposedness to everlasting punishment ; as also their utter inability to save themselves, either
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from their sins, or from those miseries which are the just punishment of them ; and their unworthiness of any mercy at the hand of God, on account of any thing they themselves could do to procure his favour ; and consequently their extreme need of Christ to save them.
' And, secondly, I frequently endeavoured to open to them the fulness, all-sufficiency, and freeness of that redemption which the Son of God had wrought out, by his obedience and sufferings, for perishing sinners ; how this provision he had made was suited to all their wants ; and how he called and invited them to accept of everlasting life, freely, notwith standing all their sinfulness, inability, and unwor thiness.
' After I had been with the Indians several months, I composed sundry Forms of Prayer, adapted to their circumstances and capacities ; which, with the help of my interpreter, I translated into the Indian lan guage ; and soon learned to pronounce their words, so as to pray with them in their own tongue. I also translated sundry psalms into their language ; and, soon after, we were able to sing in the worship of God.
' When my people had gained some acquaintance with many of the truths of Christianity, so that they were capable of receiving and understanding others, which at first could not be taught them, by reason of their ignorance of those upon which they depended ; I then gave them an historical account of God's deal ings with his ancient professing people the Jews ; some of the rites and ceremonies they were obliged to observe, as their sacrifices, &c. and what these were designed to represent to them ; as also some of
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the surprising miracles God wrought for their salva- tion while they trusted in him, and the sore punish ments which he afterwards brought upon them when they forsook and sinned against him. Then I proceeded to give them a relation of the birth, life, miracles, sufferings, death, and resurrection of Christ ; as well as his ascension, and the wonderful effusion of the Holy Spirit consequent thereupon.
' And, having thus endeavoured to prepare the way by such a general account of things, I next pro ceeded to read and expound to them the gospel of St. Matthew (at least the substance of it) in course, wherein they had a more distinct and particular view of what they had before some general notion of. These expositions I attended almost every evening, when there was any considerable number of them at home : except when I was obliged to be absent my self, in order to learn the Indian language with Mr. Sergeant.
' Besides these means of instruction, there was like wise an English school constantly kept by my inter preter among the Indians; which I used frequently to visit, in order to give the children and young peo ple some proper instructions, and serious exhorta tions suited to their age.
' The degree of knowledge to which some of them attained was considerable. Many of the truths of Christianity seemed fixed in their minds ; especially in some instances: so that they would speak to me of them, and ask such questions about them as were necessary to render them more plain and clear to their understandings.
* The children also, and young people who attended the school, made considerable proficiency (at least
f
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some of them) in their learning ; so that had they understood the English language well, they would have been able to read somewhat readily in a Psalter.
' But that which was most of all desirable, and gave me the greatest encouragement amidst many difficul ties and disconsolate hours, was, that the truths of God's word seemed, at times, to be attended with some power upon the hearts and consciences of the Indians. And especially this appeared evident in a few instances, who were awakened to some sense of their miserable state by nature, and appeared soli citous for deliverance from it. Several of them came of their own accord, to discourse with me about their souls' concerns ; and some, with tears, inquired " what they should do to be saved ;" and whether the God that Christians served would be merciful to those that had been frequently drunk, &c.
' And, although I cannot say I have satisfactory evidences of their being " renewed in the spirit of their mind," and savingly converted to God ; yet the Spirit of God did, I apprehend, in such a manner attend the means of grace, and so operate upon their minds thereby, as might justly afford matter of en couragement to hope, that God designed good to them, and that he was preparing His way into their souls.
' There likewise appeared a reformation in the lives and manners of the Indians.
* Their idolatrous sacrifices (of which there were but one or two, that I know of, after my coming among them) were wholly laid aside. And their heathenish custom of dancing, hallooing, &c. they seemed in a considerable measure broken off from :
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and I could not but hope that they were reformed in some measure from the sin of drunkenness. They likewise manifested a regard to the Lord's-day ; and not only behaved soberly themselves, but took care also to keep their children in order.
' Yet, after all, I must confess, that, as there were many hopeful appearances among them, so there were some things more discouraging : and, while I rejoiced to observe any seriousness and concern among them about the affairs of their souls, still I was not without continual fear and concern, lest such encouraging appearances might prove " like a morning cloud that passeth away."'
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CHAPTER V,
The second year of his Missionary Labours ; from April 1744, to April 1745.
THE Correspondents for the Indian Mission having directed Brainerd, as we have stated, to remove from Kaunaumeek, where he spent the first year of his missionary labours, he took leave of his Indians on the 29th of April, and set forward on a journey to his original destination, among the Indians at the Forks of the Delaware.
Of his feelings during this journey he says: — * I spent much of my time, while riding, in prayer, that God would go with me to the Delaware. My heart was sometimes ready to sink with the thoughts of my work, and of going alone into the wilderness, I knew not where ; but still it was comfortable to think, that others of God's children had wandered about in caves and dens of the earth ; and that Abraham, when he went forth, went out, not knowing whither lie went. Oh that I might follow after God!'
After crossing Hudson's River, he traversed the woods from that river to the Delaware, about a hun dred miles through a desolate and frightful country,
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above New Jersey, where there were then very few habitations. In this journey he endured great hard ships and fatigue.
About 140 miles from Kaunaumeek, at a place called Minissinks, he fell in with a number of In dians, of his intercourse with whom he says: —
' With these Indians I spent some time. I first addressed their king in a friendly manner; and, after some discourse, and attempts to contract a friendship with him, I told him I had a desire, for their benefit and happiness, to instruct them in Christianity ; at which he laughed, turned his back upon me, and went away. I then addressed another principal man in the same manner, who said he wras willing to hear me. After some time, I followed the king into his house, and renewed my discourse to him ; but he de clined talking, and left the affair to another, who ap peared to be a rational man. He began, and talked very warmly near a quarter of an hour together; he inquired why I desired the Indians to become Chris tians, seeing the Christians were so much worse than the Indians are in their present state. The Christians, he said, would lie, steal, and drink, worse than the Indians. It was they who first taught the Indians to be drunk; and they stole from one another to that degree, that their rulers were obliged to hang them for it; and that was not sufficient to deter others from the like practice. But the Indians, he added, were none of them ever hanged for stealing, and yet they did not steal half so much ; and he supposed that if the Indians should become Christians, they would then be as bad as these. And hereupon he said, that they would live as their fathers lived, and go where their fathers were when they died. I then
9
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joined with him in condemning the ill conduct of some who are called Christians. I told him that these were not Christians in heart ; that I hated such wicked practices, and did not desire the Indians to become such as these ; and when he appeared calmer, I asked him if he was willing that I should come and see them again ; he replied, he should be willing to see me again, as a friend, if I would not desire them to become Christians/
He then bid these Indians farewell; and, prose cuting his journey to the Delaware, arrived, on the 13th of May, at a place called, by the Indians, Sakhauwotung, within the Forks of the Delaware, in Pennsylvania.
Here he entered on his work, but not with very animated expectations: —
' Lord's-day, May 13, 1744. Rose early — felt very poorly after my long journey, and after being wet and fatigued, was very melancholy ; have scarce ever seen such a gloomy morning in my life, there ap peared to be no Sabbath : the children were all at play ; I a stranger in the wilderness, and knew not where to go ; and all circumstances seemed to con spire to render my affairs dark and discouraging : was disappointed respecting an interpreter, and heard that the Indians were much scattered. I mourned after the presence of God, and seemed like a crea ture banished from his sight : yet he was pleased to support my sinking soul, amidst all my sorrows ; so that I never entertained any thought of quitting my business among the poor Indians ; but was comforted to think that death would, ere long, set me free from these distresses.'
Writing, however, some months afterward, he K
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shews that his melancholy did not repress his exertions : —
'Here, also, when I came to the Indians, I saluted their king, and others, in the manner that I thought most engaging : and, soon after, informed the king of my desire to instruct them in the Christian reli gion. After he had consulted two or three old men, he told me he was willing to hear. I then preached to those few that were present ; who appeared very attentive, and well-disposed : and the king, in par ticular, seemed both to wonder and to be well pleased with what I taught them respecting the Divine Being, &c. : and, since that time, he has ever shewn himself friendly to me, giving me free liberty to preach in his house whenever I think fit. Here, therefore, I have spent the greater part of the summer, preaching usually in the king's house/
After Brainerd had thus given full evidence of his peculiar fitness for the work of a missionary, he was directed to proceed to Newark, in New Jersey, to receive ordination. He left his Indians, in conse quence, on the 28th of May, about a fortnight after his arrival, and reached Newark the next day. On the llth of June he preached his Probation Sermon, from Acts xxvi. 17, 18.
' I was much tired,' he says, ' and my mind bur dened with the greatness of that charge which I was, in the most solemn manner, about to take upon me. My mind was so oppressed with the weight of the work, that I could not sleep this night, though very weary, and in great want of rest.'
On the 12th of June, he was solemnly dedicated to his work among the heathen ; Mr. Pemberton preaching the Ordination Sermon, from the appro-
t
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priate words of Luke xiv. 23, " And the Lord Said unto the servant, Go into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled." '
Prainerd entered on his sacred office, as may well be conceived, with the most cordial approbation of his friends.
' We can with pleasure say,' Mr. Pemberton writes to the society in Scotland, ' that Mr. Brainerd appears uncommonly qualified for the work of the ministry. He seems to be armed with a great deal of self-denial ; and animated with a noble zeal to propagate the gospel among those barbarous na tions, which have long dwelt in the darkness of heathenism/
And, in his sermon on occasion of his ordination, he thus addresses him: —
* Sufl'er me, dear sir, to address myself to you, who are this day coming under a public consecration to the service of Christ, " to bear his name among the Gentiles;" to whom the Master is now sending you forth, " to compel them to come in, that his house maybe filled." We trust you are a chosen vessel, designed for extensive service in this honour able, though difficult, employment. We adore the God of nature, who has furnished you with such endowments as suit you to this important charge. We adore the Great Head of the church for the nobler gifts and graces of his Spirit: by which, we trust, you are enabled to engage in this mission with an ardent love to God, the Universal Father of man kind ; with a disinterested zeal for the honour of Christ, the compassionate friend of sinners ; and with tender concern for the perishing souls of a K 2
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" people that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death ; " who have for so many ages been wandering out of the way of salvation, " without Christ, and without God in the world/'
About a week after his ordination, he set out on his return to his Indians; and, in three days, reached his residence, under much weakness of body, but great consolation of spirit.
Some extracts from his journal for the first month subsequent to his return, will manifest the ardour of his mind in the great work to which he was devoted.
' Lord's-day, June 24, 1744. Extremely feeble; scarcely able to walk ; however, visited my Indians, and took much pains to instruct them; laboured with some that were much disaffected to Christianity. My mind was much burdened with the weight and difficulty of my work. My whole dependence and hope of success seemed to be on God ; who alone, I saw, could make them willing to receive instruction. My heart was much engaged in prayer, sending up silent requests to God, even while I was speaking to them. Oh ! that I could always go in the strength of the Lord !
' June 26. In the morning, my desires seemed to rise, and ascend up freely to God ; was busy most of the day in translating prayers into the language of the Delaware Indians ; met with great difficulty, by reason that my interpreter was altogether unac quainted with the business. But though I was much discouraged with the extreme difficulty of that work, yet God supported me, and, especially in the even ing, gave me sweet refreshment. In prayer, my soul was enlarged, and my faith drawn into sensible
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exercise; was enabled to cry to God for my poor Indians; and, though the work of their conversion appeared impossible with man, yet with God, I saw, all things were possible. My faith was much strengthened, by observing the wonderful assistance which God afforded his servants Nehemiah and Ezra, in reforming his people, and re-establishing his ancient church. I was much assisted in prayer for dear Christian friends, and for others that I appre hended to be Christless ; but was more especially concerned for the heathen, and those of my own charge— was enabled to be instant in prayer for them ; and hoped that God would " bow the heavens and come down" for their salvation. It seemed to me, there could be no impediment sufficient to ob struct that glorious work, seeing the living God, as I strongly hoped, was engaged for it. I continued in a solemn frame, lifting up my heart to God for his assistance and grace, that I might be more mortified to this present world, that my whole soul might be taken up continually in concern for the advancement of Christ's kingdom — longing that God would purge me more, that I might be as a chosen vessel to bear his name among the heathen : — continued in this frame till I dropped asleep.
' June 27. Felt something of the same solemn concern and spirit of prayer, that I enjoyed last night, soon after I rose in the morning. In the afternoon, rode several miles, to see if I could pro cure any lands for the poor Indians, that they might live together, and be under better advantages for instruction. While I was riding, had a deep sense of the greatness and difficulty of my work; and my soul seemed to rely wholly upon God for success, in
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the diligent and faithful use of means — saw, with the greatest certainty, that the arm of the Lord must be revealed for the help of these poor heathen, if ever they are delivered from the bondage of the powers of darkness—spent most of the time, while riding, in lifting up my heart for grace and assistance.
' June 28. Spent the morning in reading several parts of the holy scripture, and in fervent prayer for my Indians, that God would set up his kingdom among them, and bring them into his church. About nine I withdrew to my usual place of retirement in the woods, and there enjoyed some assistance in prayer. My great concern was for the conversion of the heathen to God ; and the Lord helped me to plead for it. Toward noon, rode up to the Indians, in order to preach to them; and, while going, my heart went up to God in prayer for them— could freely tell God, he knew that the cause was not mine which I was engaged in, but it was his own cause, and it would be for his own glory to convert the poor Indians ; and, blessed be God, I felt no desire of their conversion that I might receive honour from the world, as being the instrument of it. Had some freedom in speaking to the Indians.
* June 30, 1744. My soul was much affected in reading God's word, especially the ninth chapter of Daniel. I saw how God had called out his servants to prayer, and made them wrestle with him, when he designed to bestow any great mercy on his church. And, alas ! I was ashamed of myself, to think of my dulness and inactivity, when there seemed to be so much to do for the upbuilding of Zion. Oh ! how does Zion lie waste ! I longed that the church of God might be enlarged — was enabled^
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to pray, I think, in faith ; my soul seemed sensibly to confide in God, and was enabled to wrestle with him — afterward walked abroad to a place of retire ment, and enjoyed some assistance in prayer again — had a sense of my great need of divine help, and felt my soul sensibly depend on God. Blessed be God ! this has been a comfortable week to me.
' Lord's-day, July 1. In the morning, was per plexed with wandering and vain thoughts — was much grieved. I judged and condemned myself before God. And, oh ! how miserable did I feel, because I could not live to God !
* At ten, rode away with a heavy heart to preach to my Indians. Upon the road, I attempted to lift up my heart to God, but was infested with an un settled wandering frame of mind ; and was exceed ingly restless and perplexed, and filled with shame and confusion before God. I seemed to myself to be " more brutish than any man ; " and thought none deserved to be " cast out of God's presence" so much as I. If I attempted to lift up my heart to God, as I frequently did by the way, on a sudden, before I was aware, my thoughts were wandering " to the ends of the earth ;" and my soul was filled with surprise and anxiety to find it thus.
* Thus also, after I came to the Indians, my mind was confused ; and I felt nothing sensibly of that sweet reliance on God, which my soul has been com forted with in days past. Spent the forenoon in this posture of mind, and preached to the Indians with out any heart.
* In the afternoon, I felt still barren when I began to preach ; and, about half an hour after, I seemed to myself to know nothing, and to have nothing to
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say to the Indians ; but, soon after, I found in my self a spirit of love, and warmth, and power, to address the poor Indians ; and God helped me to plead with them, " to turn from all the vanities of the heathen to the Living God;" and I am per suaded, the Lord touched their consciences, for I never saw such attention raised in them before. And when I came away from them, I spent the whole time while I was riding to my lodgings, three miles distant, in prayer and praise to God.
' After I had ridden more than two miles, it came into my mind to dedicate myself to God again; which I did with great solemnity and unspeakable satisfaction ; especially giving up myself to him re- newedly in the work of the ministry : and this I did, by divine grace, I hope, without any exception or reserve ; not in the least shrinking back from any difficulties that might attend this great and blessed work. I seemed to be most free, cheerful, and full, in this dedication of myself. My whole soul cried, 4 Lord, to thee I dedicate myself! Oh ! accept of me, and let me be thine for ever! Lord, I desire nothing else — I desire nothing more ! Oh ! come, come, Lord, accept a poor worm ! " Whom have I in heaven but thee ? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee ! " ; After this, I was enabled to praise God with my whole soul, that he had drawn me to devote and consecrate all my powers to him in this solemn manner. My heart rejoiced in my par ticular work as a missionary ; rejoiced in my neces sity of self-denial, in many respects ; and I still continued to give up myself to God, and implore mercy of him ; praying incessantly, every moment, with sweet fervency. My nature, being very weak
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of late, and much spent, was now considerably overcome: my fingers grew very weary and some what numb, so that I could scarcely stretch them out straight ; and, when I alighted from my horse, I could hardly walk; my joints seemed all to be loose. But I felt abundant strength in the inner man. Preached to the white people. God helped me much, especially in prayer. Sundry of my poor Indians were so moved as to come to meeting also ; and one appeared much concerned.
' July 6. I am of late most of all concerned for ministerial qualifications, and the conversion of the heathen. Last year I longed to be prepared for a world of glory, and speedily to depart out of this world ; but, now, almost all my concern is for the conversion of the heathen ; and, for that end, I long to live. But, blessed be God ! I have less desire to live for any of the pleasures of the world than ever I had. I long and love to be a pilgrim ; and want grace to imitate the life, labours, and sufferings of St. Paul among the heathen. And when I long for holiness now, it is not so much for myself as for merly ; but rather that thereby I may become an able minister of the New Testament, especially to the heathen.
' Lord's-day, July 8. Was ill last night, unable to rest quietly. Had some degree of assistance in preaching to the Indians, and afterwards to the white people, especially in the close of my discourse from Jer. iii. 23. The Lord also assisted me in some measure in the first prayer: blessed be his name. Near night, though very weary, was enabled to read God's word with some relish, and to pray with affec tion, fervency, and faith: my soul was more sensibly
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dependent on God than usual. Was watchful and jealous of my own heart, lest I should admit careless ness and vain thoughts, and grieve the blessed Spirit, so that he should withdraw his heavenly influences. Longed to " depart, and be with Christ," more than at any time of late. My soul was exceedingly united to the saints of ancient times, as well as those now living; especially my soul melted for the society of Elijah and Elisha.
' July 21 . This morning I was greatly oppressed with guilt and shame, from a sense of inward vile- ness and pollution— about nine, withdrew to the woods for prayer ; but had not much comfort. I appeared to myself the vilest, meanest creature upon earth, and could scarcely live with myself: so mean and vile I appeared, that I thought I should never be able to hold up my face in heaven, even if God of his infinite grace should bring me thither.
* Toward night, my burden respecting my work among the Indians began to increase much ; and was aggravated by hearing sundry things that looked very discouraging ; in particular, that they intended to meet together the next day for an idolatrous feast and dance. Then I began to be in anguish : I thought I must, in conscience, go and endeavour to break them up ; and knew not how to attempt such a thing. However, I withdrew for prayer, hoping for strength from above : and, in prayer, I was exceedingly en larged, and my soul was as much drawn out as ever I remember it to have been in my life, or near. I was in such anguish, and pleaded with so much ear nestness and importunity, that when I rose from my knees I felt extremely weak and overcome : I could scarcely walk straight: my joints were loosed: the
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sweat ran down my face and body ; and nature seemed as if it would dissolve. So far as I could judge, I was wholly free from selfish ends in my fervent sup plications for the poor Indians. I knew they were met together to worship devils, and not God ; and this made me cry earnestly, that God would now appear, and help me in my attempts to break up this idolatrous meeting. My soul pleaded long ; and I thought God would hear, 'and would go with me to vindicate his own cause : I seemed to confide in God for his presence and assistance.
* And thus I spent the evening, praying incessantly for divine assistance ; and that I might not be self- dependent, but still have my whole dependence upon God. What I passed through was remarkable, and indeed inexpressible. All things here below van ished ; and there appeared to be nothing of any con siderable importance to me, but holiness of heart and life, and the conversion of the heathen to God. All my cares, fears, and desires, which might be said to be of a worldly nature, disappeared ; and were, in my esteem, of little more importance than a puff of wind. I exceedingly longed, that God would get to himself a name among the heathen ; and I appealed to him with the greatest freedom, that he knew I " preferred him above my chief joy/' Indeed, I had no notion of joy from this world : I cared not where or how I lived, or what hardships I went through, so that I could but gain souls to Christ. I continued in this frame all the evening and night. While I was asleep, I dreamed of these things ; and when I waked, as I frequently did, the first thing I thought of was this great work of pleading for God against Satan.
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* Lord's-day, July 22. When I awoke, my soul was burdened with what seemed to be before me. I cried to God before I could get out of my bed ; and, as soon as I was dressed, I withdrew into the woods, to pour out my burdened soul to God, especially for assistance in my great work; for I could scarcely think of any thing else: and enjoyed the same free dom and fervency as the last evening ; and did, with unspeakable freedom give myself afresh to God, for life or death, for all hardships he should call me to among the heathen ; and felt as if nothing could discourage me from this blessed work. I had a strong hope, that God would " bow the heavens and come down," and do some marvellous work among the heathen. And, when I was riding to the Indians, three miles, my heart was continually going up to God for his presence and assistance; and hoping, and almost expecting, that God would make this the day of his power and grace among the poor Indians. When I came to them, I found them engaged in their frolic: but, through divine goodness, I got them to break up, and attend to my preaching. Yet still there appeared nothing of the special power of God among them — preached again to them in the after noon; and observed them to be more sober than before: but still saw nothing special among them ; from whence Satan took occasion to tempt and buffet me with these suggestions, ' There is no God ; or, if there be, he is not able to convert the Indians before they have more knowledge.' &c. I was very weak and weary, and my soul borne down with perplexity; but still felt determined to wait upon God for the conversion of the heathen, though the devil tempted me to the contrary.
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' July 23, 1744. Retained a deep and pressing sense of what lay with so much weight upon me yes terday ; but was more calm and quiet — enjoyed free dom and composure, after the temptations of the last evening — had sweet resignation to the divine will ; and desired nothing so much as the conversion of the heathen to God, and that his kingdom might come in my own heart, and the hearts of others/
His journal at this period abounds with similar indications of a most lively sense of his own weak ness and unprofitableness, of the difficulty of his work, the danger of self-confidence, and the need of divine aid; with continual longing for holiness and humility, and for the success of his labours.
These labours were not confined to the Indians of Sakhauwotung. Beside much attention bestowed on a settlement of Irish, about fifteen miles south west of his residence ; hearing, in July, of a number of Indians, then living at Kauksesauchung, seven teen miles further to the westward, he passed over a frightful mountain from the Irish settlement to pay them a visit. There he found about thirty persons. On proposing to preach to them, they readily ac cepted his offer. As they were removing farther westward, to the Susquehanna, on the banks of which river was their abode, he had an opportunity of preaching but twice to them ; after which he re turned to the Irish settlement.
* While I was preaching/ he says, * they appeared sober and attentive. Two or three suspected that I had some ill design on them ; and urged that the white people had abused them, and had taken their lands from them ; and that therefore they had no reason to think that they were now concerned for
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their happiness ; but, on the contrary, that they de signed to make them slaves, or get them on board their vessels, and make them fight with the people over the water, meaning the French or Spaniards. Most of them, however, appeared very friendly, and told me that they were then going directly home to the Susquehanna, and desired I would make them a visit there, and manifested a considerable desire of further instruction. This invitation gave me some encouragement in my great work ; and made me hope that God designed to open an effectual door to me for spreading the gospel among the poor heathen farther westward/
These encouragements often followed his dejec tions. After preaching to these Indians on the even ing of his arrival, he lodged among them.
' I was weak/ he says, * and felt something dis consolate ; yet could have no freedom in the thought of any other circumstance or business in life. All my desire is the conversion of the heathen, and all my hope is in God. God does not suffer me to please or comfort myself with the hopes of seeing friends, re turning to my dear acquaintance, and enjoying worldly comforts/
But though he was debarred the comfort of asso ciating with his friends, he maintained a corre spondence with them, in which he freely breathed out his soul.
The following letter to a particular friend, written at this juncture, and dated the Forks of Delaware, July 31, 1744, is a strong testimony of the heavenly state of his mind : —
' Certainly the greatest, the noblest pleasure of intelligent creatures must result from their acquaint-
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ance with the blessed God, and with their own rational and immortal souls. And oh, how divinely sweet and satisfying is it, to look into our own souls, when we can find all our powers and passions united and engaged in pursuit after God, our whole souls longing and passionately breathing after a con formity to him, and the full enjoyment of him ! Verily, there are no hours pass away with so much divine pleasure, as those that are spent in communing with God and our own hearts. Oh, how sweet is a spirit of devotion — a spirit of seriousness and divine solemnity — a spirit of gospel simplicity, love and ten derness ! Oh, how desirable, and how profitable to the Christian life, is a spirit of holy watchfulness and godly jealousy over ourselves ; when our souls are afraid of nothing so much as that we shall grieve and offend the blessed God, whom at such times we apprehend, or at least hope, to be a Father and a Friend; whom we then love and long to please, rather than to be happy ourselves ; or, at least, we delight to derive our happiness from pleasing and glorifying him ! Surely this is a temper worthy of the highest ambition and closest pursuit of intelli gent creatures and holy Christians. Oh, how vastly superior is the pleasure, peace, and satisfaction derived from these divine frames, to that which we, alas! sometimes pursue in things impertinent and trifling !— our own bitter experience teaches us, that " in the midst of such laughter the heart is sorrow ful," and there is no true satisfaction but in God. But, alas ! how shall we obtain and retain this sweet spirit of religion and devotion ! Let us follow the apostle's direction, Phil. ii. 12. and labour upon the encouragement he there mentions, ver. 13; for it is
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God only who can afford us this favour; and he will he sought after, and it is fit we should wait upon him for so rich a mercy. Oh ! may the God of all grace afford us the grace and influences of his Holy Spirit ; and help us, that we may from our hearts esteem it our greatest liberty and happiness, that " whether we live, we may live unto the Lord ; or whether we die, we may die unto the Lord ; " that in life and death, we may be his !
' I am in a very poor state of health: I think, scarcely ever poorer; but, through divine goodness, I am not discontented under my weakness and confinement to this wilderness. I bless God for this retirement: I never was more thankful for any thing, than I have been of late for the necessity I am under of self- denial in many respects : I love to be a pilgrim and stranger in this wilderness : it seems most fit for such a poor ignorant, worthless, despised creature as me. I would not change my present mission for any other business in the whole world. I may tell you freely, without vanity and ostentation, God has of late given me great freedom and fervency in prayer, when I have been so weak and feeble that my nature seemed as if it would speedily dissolve. I feel as if my all was lost, and I was undone for this world, if the poor heathen may not be converted. I feel, in general, different from what I did when I saw you last; at least more crucified to all the enjoyments of life. It would be very refreshing to me to see you here in this desert ; especially in my weak discon solate hours : but I think I could be content never to see you or any of my friends again in this world, if God would bless my labours to the conversion of the poor Indians/
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In the month of August, his bodity weakness and pains increased upon him. He speaks of him self as
' Unable to engage in any business ; fre quently unable to pray in the family. I am obliged to let all my thoughts and concerns run at random ; for I have neither strength to read, meditate, nor pray ; and this naturally perplexes my mind. I seem to myself like a man that has all his estate embarked in one small boat, unhappily going adrift down a swift torrent. The poor owner stands on the shore, and looks, and laments his loss. But, alas ! though my all seems to be adrift, and I stand and see it, I dare not lament ; for this sinks my spirits more, and aggravates my bodily disorders. I am forced, there fore, to divert myself with trifles; although, at the same time, I am afraid, and often feel as if I was guilty of the misimprovement of time. And often times my conscience is so exercised with this miser able way of spending time, that I have no peace ; though I have no strength of mind or body to improve it to better purpose. Oh ! that God would pity my distressed state!'
Yet he was still alive to God, and dead to the world ; and was upheld by divine consolation, and encouraged by appearances of religious concern among the Indians. Of this, he says, about this period : —
' The number of Indians in this place is but small: most of those that formerly lived here are dispersed, and removed to places farther back in the country. There are not more than ten houses hereabouts, that continue to be inhabited ; and some of these are several miles distant from others, which makes it L
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difficult for the Indians to meet together so frequently as could be desired.
' When I first began to preach here, the number of my hearers was very small ; often not exceeding twenty-five persons: but, afterward, their number increased, so that I have frequently had forty per sons, or more, at once ; and oftentimes the most of those belonging to these parts came together to hear me preach.
' The effects which the truths of God's word have had upon some of the Indians in this place are some what encouraging. Sundry of them are brought to renounce idolatry, and to decline partaking of those feasts which they used to offer in sacrifice to certain supposed unknown powers. And some few among them have, for a considerable time, manifested a serious concern for their souls' eternal welfare, and still continue to inquire the way to Zion, with such diligence and becoming solicitude, as gives me reason to hope, that God, who, I trust, has begun this work in them, will carry it on, until it shall issue in their saving conversion to himself. These not only detest their old idolatrous notions, but strive also to bring their friends off from them. And as they are seeking salvation for their own souls, so they seem desirous, and some of them take pains, that others may be excited to do the like.'
At the beginning of September, he writes, — * Lord's-day, Sept. 2. Was enabled to speak to my poor Indians with much concern and fervency ; and I am persuaded God enabled me to exercise faith in him, while I was speaking to them. I perceived thatr some of them were afraid to hearken to and embrace
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Christianity, lest they should be enchanted and poi soned by some of the Powaws : but I was enabled to plead with them not to fear these ; and confiding in God for safety and deliverance, I boldly challenged all these powers of darkness to do their worst upon me first. I told my people I was a Christian, and asked them why the Powaws did not bewitch and poison me. I scarcely ever felt more sensible of my own unworthiness than in this action : I saw that the honour of God was concerned in the affair ; and I desired to be preserved, not selfishly, but for a testimony of the divine power and goodness, and of the truth of Christianity, and that God might be glorified. Afterward my soul rejoiced in God for his assisting grace/
During this month he was absent from the Dela ware about three weeks, on a journey in which he rode upwards of 420 miles.
After his return, he began to prepare for a visit to the Susquehanna Indians, who had invited him to their quarters. He withdrew repeatedly into the woods, to plead that the Divine presence might go with him to the benighted pagans, to whom he was going to preach the gospel.
He had invited Mr. Byram, a minister at some distance from his residence, to accompany him to the Susquehanna. On the 2d of October they set forward, with an interpreter and two of the chiefs of the Dela ware Indians.
Of his journey, he writes : —
* Oct. 2. Travelled about twenty-five miles, and lodged in one of the last houses on our road ; after which there was nothing but a hideous and howling wilderness.
L 2
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' Oct. 3. We went on our way into the wilderness and found the most difficult and dangerous travelling, by far, that any of us had ever seen. We had scarce any thing else but lofty mountains, deep valleys, and hideous rocks, to make our way through. However, I felt some sweetness in divine things part of the day, and had my mind closely engaged in meditation on a divine subject. Near night, my beast that I rode upon hung one of her legs in the rocks, and fell down under me ; but, through divine goodness, I was not hurt. However, she broke her leg ; and being in such a hideous place, and near thirty miles from any house, I saw that nothing could be done to preserve her life, and so was obliged to kill her, and to prose cute my journey on foot. This accident made me admire the divine goodness toward me, that my bones were not broken, and the multitude of them filled with strong pain. Just at dark we kindled a fire, cut up a few bushes, and made a shelter over our heads, to save us from the frost, which was very hard that night ; and, committing ourselves to God by prayer, we lay down on the ground, and slept quietly.'
After lodging a second night in the woods, they arrived at Opeholhaupung, an Indian settlement, of twelve houses and about seventy inhabitants.
* After I had saluted the king,' says Mr. Brainerd, * in a friendly manner, I told him my business, and that my desire was to teach them Christianity. After some consultation, the Indians gathered, and I preached to them. When I had done, I asked if they would hear me again : they replied, that they would consider of it; and, soon after, sent me word* that they would immediately attend, if I would
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preach ; which I did with freedom, both times. When I asked them again, whether they would hear me further, they replied, they would the next day. I was exceedingly sensible of the impossibility of doing any thing for the poor heathen without special assistance from above ; and my soul seemed to rest on God, and leave it to him to do as he pleased in that which I saw was his own cause ; and, indeed, through divine goodness, I had felt something of this frame most of the time while I was travelling thither, and in some measure, before I set out.
* When I had preached to the Indians several times, some of them very frankly proposed what they had to object against Christianity ; and so gave me a fair opportunity for using my best endeavours to remove from their minds those scruples and jealousies under which they laboured : and when I had endeavoured to answer their objections, some appeared much satisfied. I then asked the king, if he was willing that I should visit them again next spring. He re plied, he should be heartily willing for his own part; and added, that he wished the young people would learn. I then put the same question to the rest: some answered they should be very glad ; and none mani fested any dislike to it.
4 There were sundry other things in their beha viour which appeared encouraging; so that, upon the whole, I could not but rejoice that 1 had taken that journey among them, though it was attended with many difficulties and hardships. The method which I used with them, and the instruction given to them, were means, I am persuaded, to remove, in some measure, their heathenish jealousies and pre judices against Christianity: and I could not but
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hope that the God of all grace was preparing their minds to receive " the truth as it is in Jesus." ' Of their return home, Brainerd writes : —
* Oct. 9. We rose about four in the morning, and, commending ourselves to God in prayer, and asking his special protection, we set out on our journey, and travelled with great steadiness till past six at night ; and then made a fire, and a shelter of bark, and so rested. In the night the wolves howled around us, but God preserved us/
The next day they rose early, and set forward, and travelled till they came to an Irish settlement, where Mr. Brainerd was well known, and lodged there. He mentions his thankfulness to God for his goodness to him in this journey, complaining, at the same time, of his own barrenness. On Thursday he continued in the same place; and he and Mr, Byram preached to the people.
' Friday, Oct. 12. Rode home to my lodging, where I poured out my soul to God in secret prayer, and endeavoured to bless him for his abundant goodness to me in my late journey. I scarcely ever enjoyed more health, at least of late years ; and God marvellously, and almost miraculously, supported me under the fatigues of the way, travelling on foot. Blessed be the Lord ! who continually preserves me in all my ways.
* Lord's-day, Oct. 14. Was much confused and perplexed in my thoughts ; could not pray ; and was almost discouraged, thinking I should never be able to preach anymore. But afterwards, God was pleased to give me some relief from these confusions ; yet still I was afraid, and even trembled before him. I went to the place of public worship, lifting up my
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heart to God for assistance in my great work. He was gracious to me, and helped me to plead with him for holiness, and to use the strongest arguments, drawn from the incarnation and sufferings of Christ, for this very end — that men might be made holy. Afterwards I was much assisted in preaching. I know not that ever God helped me to preach in a more close and distinguishing manner for the trial of men's state.
Next morning he spent some time in prayer be fore sunrise, in the same grateful frame of mind that he had been in the evening before ; and afterwards went to his Indians, and spent some time in teaching and exhorting them.'
' Tuesday, Oct. 16. Felt a spirit of solemnity and watchfulness ; was afraid I should not live to and upon God ; longed for more intenseness and spirit uality. Spent the day in writing, frequently lifting up my heart to God for more heavenly-mindedness. In the evening had assistance in prayer, and thirsted and pleaded to be as holy as the blessed angels : longed for ministerial gifts and graces, and success ift my work. Was greatly assisted in the duty of in tercession, and enabled to remember and plead for numbers of dear friends and ministers of Christ.
4 Wednesday, Oct. 24. Near noon, rode to my peo ple ; spent some time, and prayed with them. Felt like a pilgrim on earth ; longed much to leave this gloomy mansion, yet found the exercise of patience and resignation. Returning home from the Indians, I spent the whole time in lifting up my heart to God. In the evening, enjoyed a blessed season alone in prayer ; was enabled to cry to God with a child-like spirit, for the space of near an hour. Enjoyed free-
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dom in supplication for myself, for my dear friends, ministers, and some who are preparing for that work, and for the church of God ; and longed to be as lively myself in God's service as the angels/
In the following days, he was exercised with much disorder and pain of body, with a degree of melan choly and gloominess of mind, bitterly complaining of deadness and unprofitableness, yet mourning and longing after God.
' Saturday, Nov. 3. I read the life and trials of a godly man, and was much warmed by it. I wondered at my past deadness, and was more convinced of it than ever. Was enabled to confess and bewail my sins before God with self-abhorrence.
* Lord's-day, Nov. 4. Had, I think, some exercise of faith in prayer in the morning : longed to be spi ritual. Had considerable help in preaching to my poor Indians : was encouraged with them, and hoped that God designed mercy for them.'
In the beginning of November, he set out on a journey to New York, to attend a meeting of the presbytery, and was absent about a fortnight. He seems to have entered on his journey with great reluctance ; under the apprehension that the dis tractions attending it would be an occasion of damp ing his religious affections, as he had found to be the case on other journeys. He had, however, some seasons wherein he enjoyed extraordinary evidence and fruits of the gracious presence of God.
In this journey he was greatly fatigued, and was exposed to cold and storms ; and when he returned from New York to New Jersey, was taken very ill, and detained there some time.
Of the hardships which he endured he writes : —
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' Nov. 22. About six at night, I lost my way in the wilderness, and wandered over rocks and moun tains, down hideous steeps, through swamps and most dreadful and dangerous places: and the night being dark, so that few stars could be seen, I was greatly exposed ; was much pinched with cold, and distressed with a pain in my head, attended with sickness at my stomach ; so that every step I took was distressing to me. I had little hope, for several hours together, but that 1 must lie out in the woods all night, in this distressed case: but, about nine o'clock, I found a house, through the abundant goodness of God, and was kindly entertained. Thus I have been frequently exposed, and sometimes lain out the whole night ; but God has hitherto preserved me, and blessed be his name ! Such fatigues and hardships as these serve to wean me more from the earth, and, I trust, will make heaven the sweeter. Formerly, when I was thus exposed to cold and rain, I was ready to please myself with the thoughts of enjoying a comfortable house, a warm fire, and other outward comforts ; but now these have less place in my heart, (through the grace of God,) and my eye is more to God for comfort. In this world I expect tribulation ; and it does not now, as formerly, appear strange to me. I do not, in such seasons of difficulty, flatter myself that it will be better here after, but rather think how much worse it might be ; how much greater trials others of God's children have endured; how much greater are yet perhaps reserved for me. Blessed be God! that he makes the thoughts of my journey's end, and of my disso lution, a great comfort to me under my sharpest trials, and scarce ever lets these thoughts be at-
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tended with terror or melancholy ! but they are attended frequently with great joy.'
After his return, he spent much time, in hard labour, with others, in preparing a little cottage or hut, in which he intended to live by himself through the winter. He frequently preached to the Indians ; and speaks of special enlargement of mind in ad dressing them, and of occasional encouragement from the attention which they gave. But, in the beginning of December, he was much dejected, at the sight of most of them going in company to an idolatrous feast or dance, after he had taken abun dant pains to dissuade them from such practices.
His cottage being ready, he dedicated it with seriousness to God.
* Having now (he writes, on Dec. 6,) a happy opportunity of being retired in a house of my own ; and considering that it is now a long time since I have been able, either on account of bodily weak ness, or for want of retirement, or some other diffi culty, to spend any time in secret fasting and prayer; considering also the greatness of my work, and the extreme difficulties that attend it, and that my poor Indians are now worshipping devils, notwithstanding all the pains I have taken with them, which almost overwhelms my spirit; moreover, considering my extreme barrenness, spiritual deadness, and dejec tion, of late, as also the power of some particular corruptions; I set apart this day for secret prayer and fasting, to implore the blessing of God on my self, on my poor people, on my friends, and on the church of God. At first I found a backwardness to the duties of the day, on account of the seeming impossibility of performing them; but the Lord
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helped me to break through this difficulty. God was pleased, by the use of means, to give me some clear conviction of my sinfulness, and a discovery of the plague of my own heart, more affecting than what I have of late had. And especially, I saw my sinful- ness in this, that when God had withdrawn himself, then, instead of living and dying in pursuit of Him, I have been disposed to one of these two things; either, 1st, to yield an unbecoming respect to some earthly objects, as if happiness were to be derived from them ; or, 2ndly, to be secretly froward and impatient, and unsuitably desirous of death, so that I have sometimes thought I could not bear to think my life must be lengthened out. And that which often drove me to this impatient desire of death was, a despair of doing any good in my life ; and I chose death rather than a life spent for nothing. But now God made me sensible of my sin in these things, and enabled me to cry to him for forgiveness. Yet this was not all I wanted ; for my soul appeared exceed ingly polluted ; my heart seemed like a nest of vipers, or a cage of unclean and hateful birds; and therefore I wanted to be purified " by the blood of sprinkling, that cleanseth from all sin ; " and this, I hope, I was enabled to pray for in faith. I enjoyed much more intenseness, fervency, and spirituality, than I expected. God was better to me than my fears. And, toward night, I felt my soul rejoice, that God is unchangeably happy and glorious; that he will be glorified, whatever becomes of his crea tures. I was enabled to persevere in prayer till some time in the evening ; at which time I saw so much need of divine help in every respect, that I knew not how to leave off, and had forgot that I needed food.
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Blessed be the Lord, for any help in the past day!'
In allusion to his disappointment with his Indians, he writes on Dec. 7th : —
' I visited the Indians, and preached to them, but under inexpressible dejection. I had no heart to speak to them ; and could not do it but as I forced myself. I knew they must hate to hear me, having but just got home from their idolatrous feast and devil-worship/
These dejections, on account of the difficulties of his work, were borne up against by a vigorous faith, and they were usually followed by seasons of refreshment. His mind seems, at this time, to have been deeply engaged for the salvation of his Indians. In the zeal which he manifests for their conversion, and his unwearied labours and earnest wrestlings with God to that end, he is eminently an example to all who follow him in this great work.
Some extracts from his journal, written about this time, will justify the remark.
' Lord's-day, Dec. 9. Preached both parts of the day at a place called Greenwich, in New Jersey, about ten miles from my own house. In the first discourse I had scarcely any warmth or affectionate longing for souls. During the interval, I got alone among the bushes, and cried to God for pardon of my deadness; was in anguish and bitterness that I could not ad dress souls with more compassion and tenderness. I judged and condemned myself for want of this hea venly temper ; though I saw I could not obtain it without divine assistance, any more than I could make a world. In the latter exercise, blessed be the Lord, I had some fervency, both in prayer and
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preaching ; and, especially in the application of my discourse, was enabled to address precious souls with affectionate concern and importunity. The Spirit of God, I think, was there ; as the effects were apparent, tears running down many cheeks.
' Monday, Dec. 10. Near noon I preached again : God gave me some assistance, and enabled me in some degree to be faithful ; so that I had peace in my own soul, and a very comfortable composure, " although Israel should not be gathered." Came away from Greenwich, and rode home ; arrived just in the evening. By the way, my soul blessed God for his goodness ; and I rejoiced that so much of my work was done, and I so much nearer my blessed reward. Blessed be God for grace to be faithful.
'Wednesday, Dec. 12. Was again very weak; but somewhat assisted in secret prayer, and enabled with pleasure to cry, " Come, Lord Jesus ; come, Lord Jesus ; come quickly/' My soul longed for God, for the living God. O how delightful it is to pray under such sweet influences ; how much better than one's necessary food ! I had at this time no dis position to eat, though late in the morning; for earthly food appeared wholly tasteless. O how much " better is thy love than wine/' than the sweetest wine ! I visited and preached to the Indians in the afternoon, but under much dejection. Found my interpreter under some concern for his soul : this was some comfort to me, though it filled me with new care. I longed greatly for his conversion : lifted up my heart to God for it, while I was talking to him. Came home and poured out my soul for him ; enjoyed some freedom in prayer, and was enabled to leave all with God.
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' Dec. 13. Endeavoured to spend the day in fast ing and prayer, to implore the divine blessing more especially on my people; and, in particular, I sought for converting grace for my interpreter, and three or four more under some concern for their souls. I was much disordered in the morning when I arose ; but having determined to spend the day in this manner, I attempted it. Some freedom I had in pleading for these poor concerned souls, several times; and, when interceding for them, I enjoyed greater freedom from wandering and distracting thoughts, than in any part of my supplications.
' Dec. 14. — Near noon, went to the Indians ; but knew not what to say to them, and was ashamed to look them in the face. I felt I had no power to address their consciences, and therefore I had no boldness to say any thing. Was much of the day in a great degree of despair about ever doing, or seeing any good in the land of the living.
' Lord's-day, Dec. 16. — While I was going to preach to the Indians, my soul was in anguish. I was so overborne with discouragement, that I de spaired of doing any good, and was driven to my wit's end. I knew nothing, what to say, nor what course to take. But, at last, I insisted on the evi dence which we have of the truth of Christianity from the miracles of Christ ; many of which I set before them : and G od helped me to make a close application to those that refused to believe the truth of what I taught them: and, indeed, I was enabled to speak to the consciences of all, in some measure. I was something encouraged, to find that God en abled me to be faithful once more. Then came and preached to another company of them; but was
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weary and faint. In the evening, I was something refreshed, and was enabled to pray, and praise God, with composure and affection — had some enlarge ment and courage with respect to my work— was willing to live, and longed to do more for God than my weak state of body would admit of. " I can do all things through Christ, which strengtheneth me ; and, by his grace, I am willing to spend and be spent in his service," when I am not thus sunk in dejection and a kind of despair.
* Dec. 18. — Went to the Indians, and discoursed to them for nearly an hour, without any power to come close to their hearts. But, at last, I felt some fervency, and God helped me to speak with warmth. Most of the grown persons were much affected, and the tears ran down their cheeks ; and one old man (I suppose, a hundred years old) was so affected, that he wept, and seemed convinced of the importance of what I taught them. I staid with them a consider able time, exhorting and directing them ; and came away, lifting up my heart to God in prayer and praise — came home, and spent most of the evening in prayer and thanksgiving ; and found myself much enlarged and quickened — was greatly concerned, that the Lord's work, which seemed to be begun, might be carried on with power, to the conversion of souls, and the glory of divine grace.
' Dec. 19. — Spent a great part of the day in prayer to God for the outpouring of his Spirit on my people ; as also to bless his name for awakening my Inter preter and some others, and giving us some tokens of his presence yesterday. And, blessed be God! I had much freedom and fervency five or six times in the day in prayer and praise, and felt a weighty con-
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cern upon my spirit for the salvation of those pre cious souls, and the enlargement of the Redeemer's kingdom among them. My soul hoped in God for some success in my ministry ; and blessed be his name for so much hope !
* Dec. 20. Was enabled to visit the throne of grace frequently this day ; and, through divine good ness, enjoyed much freedom and fervency, sundry times— was much assisted in crying for mercy for my poor people, and felt cheerfulness and hope in my requests for them.
' Dec. 21. — Was enabled again to pray with free dom, cheerfulness, and hope. God was pleased to make the duty comfortable and pleasant to me: so that I delighted to persevere, and repeatedly to engage in it. Toward noon, visited my people, and spent the whole time in the way to them in prayer, longing to see the power of God among them, as there appeared something of it the last Tuesday ; and I found it sweet to rest and hope in God. Preached to them twice, and at two distinct places — had con siderable freedom each time, and so had my inter preter. Several of them followed me from one place to the other ; and I thought there was some divine influence discernible amongst them. In the evening was assisted in prayer again. Blessed, blessed be the Lord ! '
Similar things are expressed concerning his in ward frame and assistances on Saturday, as on the preceding days. He observes, that this was a com fortable week to him, but concludes, * Oh ! that I had no reason to complain of so much barrenness ! Oh ! that there were no vain thoughts and evil affec tions lodging within me ! The Lord knows how I
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long for that world, where they " rest not day nor night, saying, Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty." On the following Sabbath, he speaks of assistance and freedom in his public work, but as having less of the sensible presence of God than he had engaged in the week past ; yet his soul was kept from sinking into discouragement. On Mon day, he seemed to enjoy much the same liberty and fervency, as he had done through the greater part of the preceding week.
' Tuesday, Dec. 25. Enjoyed very little quiet sleep last night, by reason of bodily weakness, and the closeness of my studies yesterday ; yet my heart was somewhat lively in prayer and praise. I was delighted with the divine glory and happiness, and rejoiced that God was God, and that he was un changeably possessed of glory and blessedness. Though he " held my eyes waking," yet he helped me to improve my time profitably amidst my pains and weakness, in continued meditations on Luke xiii. 7. " Behold, these three years I come seeking fruit," &c. My meditations were sweet, and I panted to set before sinners their sin and danger/
He continued in a very low state, as to his bodily health, for some days ; which seems to have been a great hindrance to him in his religious exercises and pursuits. He writes to a friend, a minister of the gospel in New Jersey, in the following terms : —
' Forks of the Delaware, Dec. 24, 1744. * Rev. and Dear Brother, — I have little to say to you about spiritual joys, and those blessed refresh ments and divine consolations, with which I have been much favoured in times past j but this I can M
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tell you, that if I gain experience in no other point, yet I am sure I do in this, namely, that the present world has nothing in it to satisfy an immortal soul : and hence, that it is not to be desired for itself, but only because God may be seen and served in it : and I wish I could be more patient and willing to live in it for this end, than I can usually find myself to be. It is no virtue, I know, to desire death, only to be freed from the miseries of life ; but I want that divine hope of which you observed, when I saw you last, that it was the very sinews of vital religion. Earth can do us no good, and if there be no hope of our doing good on earth, how can we desire to live in it ? Yet we ought to desire, or at least to be resigned, to tarry in it ; because it is the will of our all-wise Sovereign. But perhaps these thoughts will appear melancholy and gloomy, and consequently will be very undesirable to you ; and therefore I forbear to add to them. I wish you may not read them in the same circumstances in which I write them. I have a little more to do and suffer in a dark disconsolate world ; and then I hope to be as happy as you are. — I should ask you to pray for me, were I worthy your concern. May the Lord enable us both to " endure hardness, as good soldiers of Jesus Christ; " and may we " obtain mercy of God to be faithful to the death/' in the discharge of our respective trusts. I am, &c.
Yours, faithfully,
D. B.
Yet he notices some degree of divine assistance, from day to day, through the remaining part of this week. He preached several times to his Indians* and there appeared still some concern amongst them
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for their souls. On Saturday he rode to the Irish settlement, about fifteen miles from his lodgings, in order to spend the Sabbath there.
' Lord's-day, Dec. 30. Discoursed, both parts of the day, from Mark viii. 24. God gave me very great freedom and clearness, and (in the afternoon especially) considerable warmth and fervency. In the evening also I was happy in conversing with friends on divine things. I do not remember to have had clearer apprehensions of religion in my life ; but found a struggle, in the evening, with spiritual pride/
On Monday, he preached again in the same place with freedom and fervency ; and rode home to his lodging in the evening, under a considerable degree of bodily illness, which continued several days.
' Lord's-day, Jan. 6, 1745. Preached to my poor Indians, but had little heart or life. Towards night I was oppressed with a sense of my unfaithfulness. Oh ! the joy and peace that arises from a sense of " having obtained mercy of God to be faithful ; " and, oh ! the misery and anguish which spring from an apprehension of the contrary !
' Wednesday, Jan. 9. In the morning, God was pleased to remove that gloom which has of late oppressed my mind, and gave me freedom and com fort in prayer. I was encouraged and strengthened, and enabled to plead for grace for myself, and mercy for my poor Indians ; and was sweetly assisted in my intercessions with God for others. Blessed be his holy name for ever and ever. Amen, and amen. Those things that of late have appeared most difficult and almost impossible, now appeared not only pos sible but easy. My soul so much delighted to con tinue instant in prayer at this blessed season, that I M 2
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had no desire for my necessary food. I even dreaded leaving off praying at all, lest I should lose this spirituality, and this blessed thankfulness to God which I then felt/
The three remaining days of the week he was very low and feeble in body ; but nevertheless con tinued in the same comfortable frame of mind, as is expressed on Wednesday. On the Sabbath, this spiritual alacrity began to abate; but still he en joyed some degree of comfort, and had assistance in preaching to the Indians.
' Wednesday and Thursday, Jan. 16, 17. I spent most of the time in writing on a divine subject, and enjoyed some freedom and assistance. Was likewise enabled to pray more frequently arid fervently than usual, and my soul rejoiced in God ; especially on the evening of the last of these days. Praise then seemed comely, and I delighted to bless the Lord.
' Lord's-day, Jan. 27.— Had the greatest degree of inward anguish that almost ever I endured. I was perfectly overwhelmed ; and so confused, that, after I began to discourse to the Indians, before I could finish a sentence, sometimes I forgot entirely what I was aiming at ; or if, with much difficulty, I had recollected what I had before designed, still it ap peared strange, and like something that I had long forgotten, and had now but an imperfect remembrance of. I know it was a degree of distraction, occasioned by vapoury disorders, melancholy, and some things that particularly pressed upon me this morning, with an uncommon weight, the principal of which res pected my Indians. This distressing gloom never went off the whole day ; but was so far removed, that I was enabled to speak with some freedom and con-
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cern to the Indians, at two of their settlements ; and, I think, there was some appearance of the presence of God with us, some seriousness and seeming con cern among the Indians, at least a few of them. In the evening, this gloom continued still, till family- prayer1 about nine o'clock, and almost through this, until I came near the close, when I was praying (as I usually do) for the illumination and conversion of my -poor people ; and then the cloud was scattered, so that I enjoyed freedom, and conceived hopes that God designed mercy for some of them. The same I enjoyed afterward in secret prayer,for myself, my poor Indians, and dear friends and acquaintance in New England and elsewhere, and for the interest of Zion in general. " Bless the Lord, O my soul ! and forget not all his benefits."
' Lord's-day, Feb. 3. — Went to my Indians tremb ling ; for my soul " remembered the wormwood and the gall ;" and I was greatly afraid I should be obliged again to drink of that cup of trembling, which was inconceivably more bitter than death, and made me long for the grave more, unspeakably more, than for hid treasures, yea, inconceivably more than the men of this world long for such treasures. But God was pleased to hear my cries, and to afford me great as sistance ; so that I felt peace in my own soul ; and was satisfied, that if not one of the Indians should be profited by my preaching, yet I should be accepted and rewarded as faithful; for I am persuaded, God will enable me to be so. Had some degree of help af terwards, at another place ; and much longed for the
1 Though Mr. Brainerd now dwelt by himself in the fore-mentioned little cottage which he had built for his own use, yet that was near to a family of white people with whom he had lived before, and with whom he still attended family-prayer.
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conversion of the Indians. Was somewhat refreshed toward night, and in the evening. O that my soul might praise the Lord for his goodness ! '
About a week after this, he rode eight miles to visit a sick man at the point of death. The sick man died in the course of the night. Brainerd was much affected at the sight : and writes, on his return home : —
* Monday, Feb. 11. About break of day the sick man died. I was affected at the sight: spent the morning with the mourners : and after prayer and some discourse with them, I returned to Greenwich, and preached again from Psalm Ixxxix. 15. and the Lord gave me assistance. I felt a love to souls and to the kingdom of Christ ; and longed that poor sin ners might know the joyful sound. Several persons were much affected. After meeting I was enabled to discourse, with freedom and concern, to some persons who applied to me under spiritual trouble. Left the place much composed, and rode home to my house about eight miles distant. Discoursed to friends, and inculcated divine truths upon some. In the evening, was in the most solemn frame that I almost ever remember to have experienced. I know not that death ever appeared more real to me, or that ever I saw myself in the condition of a dead corpse laid out, and dressed for a lodging in the silent grave, so evidently as at this time. Yet I felt exceedingly comfortable ; my mind was composed and calm, and death appeared without a sting. I think I never felt such a universal mortification to all created objects as now. Oh how great and solemn a thing it ap peared to die ! Oh how it lays the greatest honour in the dust ; and how vain and trifling did the riches, honours, and pleasures of the world appear! I could
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not, I dare not so much as think of any of them ; for death, death, solemn (though not frightful) death appeared at the door. I could see myself dead and laid out, and enclosed in my coffin, and put down into the cold grave, with the greatest solemnity, but with out terror. I spent most of the evening in conversing with a dear Christian friend; and, blessed be God, it was a comfortable evening to us both. What are friends — what are comforts — what are sorrows — what are distresses ? " The time is short : it remains that they which weep, be as though they wept not ; and they which rejoice, as though they rejoiced not: for the fashion of this world passeth away. O come, Lord Jesus, come quickly. Amen." Blessed be God for the comforts of the past day.
* Lord's-day, Feb. 17. My interpreter being absent, I preached to the white people in the wilderness upon the sunny side of a hill. Had a considerable assembly, consisting of many that lived not less than thirty miles asunder. I discoursed to them all day, from John vii. 37. " Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst," &c. In the afternoon, it pleased God to grant me great freedom and fervency in my discourse ; and I was enabled to imitate the example of Christ in the text, who stood and cried. I think I was scarcely ever enabled to offer the free grace of God to perishing sinners with more freedom and plainness in my life. Afterwards, I earnestly invited the children of God to come renewedly, and drink of this fountain of living water, from whence they have heretofore derived unspeakable satisfaction. It was a very comfortable time to me : there were many tears in the assembly, and I doubt not but that the Spirit of God was there, convincing poor sinners of their
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need of Christ. In the evening I felt composed and comfortable, though much tired. I had a perception of the excellency and glory of God ; and my soul rejoiced that he was " God over all, blessed for ever." But I was too much crowded with company and conversation, and longed to be more alone with God. Oh that I could for ever bless God for the mercy of this day, who " answered me in the joy of my heart."'
The rest of this week seems to have been spent under a decay of this life and joy, and in distressing conflicts with corruption ; but not without some sea sons of refreshment and comfort.
' Lord's-day, Feb. 24. In the morning was much perplexed : my interpreter being absent, I knew not how to perform my work among the Indians. How ever, I rode to them, and got a Dutchman to inter pret for me, though he was but poorly qualified for the business. Afterwards I came and preached to a few white people, from John vi. 67. Here the Lord seemed to unburden me in some measure, especially towards the close of my discourse. I felt freedom to open the love of Christ to his own disciples: when the rest of the world forsake him, and are forsaken by him, so that he calls them no more, he then turns to his own, and says, " Will ye also go away?" I had a sense of the free grace of Christ to his own people, in such seasons of general apostacy, and when they themselves in some measure backslide with the world/
This second year of Brainerd's missionary labours was closed by a journey to New England ;• on which occasion he was absent about five weeks.
He had a particular object in view in this journey.
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Having now spent nearly two years, in a solitary manner, he was desirous of an associate in his work ; and took this journey in the hope of raising a fund among his Christian friends, for the maintenance of a second Missionary. He first went into various parts of New Jersey, and visited several ministers there ; and then proceeded to New York ; and thence into New England, and various parts of Connecticut. Returning to New Jersey, he met a number of minis ters at Woodbridge ; and reached his home, at the Forks of Delaware, on the 13th of April, having been mercifully preserved during a journey of full 600 miles.
He seems to have been more than usually free from his accustomed melancholy, during this j ourney ; and to have repeatedly enjoyed great liberty in his public ministrations, with very hopeful appearances of a divine blessing on the word.
Having formed a design of removing from his pre sent residence, and living among the Indians at the Susquehanna, he took a journey, a few days after his return, to Philadelphia, in order to engage the Go vernor of Pennsylvania to use his interest with the Chief of the Six Nations, with whom he maintained a strict friendship, that Brainerd might receive per mission to live at the Susquehanna, and instruct the Indians who were within the territories of the Six Nations. The Indians at the Susquehanna, with whom he wished to reside, were a mixed company of many tribes, speaking various languages ; and few of them belonged properly to the Six Nations: but the country having been formerly conquered by the £ix Nations, they claimed the land, and held the Susquehanna Indians in a kind of vassalage.
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We cannot conclude the narrative of Brainerd's Second Year more appropriately, than by some re marks made by himself, about this time, on the diffi culties that he found to " attend the christianizing of these poor Pagans."
' In the first place, (he writes,) their minds are filled with prejudices against Christianity, on account of the vicious lives and unchristian behaviour of some that are called Christians. These not only set before them the worst examples ; but some of them take pains expressly in words, to dissuade them from be coming Christians ; foreseeing, that if they should be converted to God, the hope of their unlawful gain would thereby be lost.
* Again, they are extremely attached to the cus toms and fabulous notions of their fathers : and this one seems to be the foundation of all their other no tions, that it was not the same God that made them, who made the white people ; but another, who com manded them to live by hunting, &c. and not conform to the customs of the white people. Hence, when desired to become Christians, they reply, they will live as their fathers live, and go to their fathers when they die. And if the miracles of Christ and his apostles be mentioned, to prove the truth of Christianity ; they also mention sundry miracles, which their fathers have told them were anciently wrought among the Indians, and which Satan makes them believe were so. They are much attached to idolatry ; frequently making feasts, which they eat in honour of some unknown beings, who, they sup pose, speak to them in dreams, promising them suc cess in hunting, and other affairs, in case they will sacrifice to them. They also offer their sacrifices to
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the spirits of the dead ; who, they suppose, stand in need of favours from the living, and yet are in such a state as that they can well reward all the offices of kindness that are shewn them. And they impute all their calamities to the neglect of these sacrifices.
' Further, they are much awed by their Powaws, who are supposed to have a power of enchanting, poisoning, or at least distressing them : and they ap prehend such enchantment would be their fate, in case they should become Christians.
4 Lastly, their manner of living is a great disadvan tage to the design of their being christianized. They are commonly roving from place to place ; and it is rarely that an opportunity can be found with some of them for instruction. There is scarce any time of the year when the men are generally at home, except a little before and during the season of planting their corn ; and about two months in the end of sum mer, from the time they begin to roast their corn, till it is gathered in.
* As to the hardships that necessarily attend a Mis sion among them, the fatigues of frequent journeying in the wilderness, the unpleasantness of a mean and hard way of living, and the great difficulty of ad dressing a people of a stranye language, these I shall at present pass over in silence; designing what I have already said of difficulties attending this work, not for the discouragement of any, but rather for the in citement of all, who love the appearing and kingdom of Christ, to frequent the Throne of Grace with earnest supplication, that the heathen, who were anciently promised to Christ for his inheritance, may now actu ally and speedily be brought into his kingdom of grace, and made heirs of immortal glory/
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CHAPTER VI.
The third year of his Misssionary Labours ; from 1745, to 1746.
IN this third year of Brainerd's labours, on which we are entering:, he had most signal and unexpected success among the Indians.
And what else, indeed, could be expected? — Such earnest and unwearied desires for the spiritual good of this people, such wrestling in prayer for their conversion, and so much self-denial and suffering for the obtaining of this end, could not be in vain. After all the interchanges of his hopes and dis couragements, and after waiting in persevering prayer and labour and difficulty, through a long night of trial, at length the day dawns. " Weeping may endure for a night ; but joy cometh in the morning." He went forth "weeping, and bearing precious seed," and now he " cometh again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him."
And yet this success was not with these Indians with whom he had been so long labouring ; but took place at a time, in a situation, and on men, quite beside his expectation !
By desire of the Society in Scotland for Propa-
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gating Christian Knowledge, Brainerd drew up a relation of his success, in the form of a Journal, which was published under the title of * Miralilia Dei inter Indicos: the Rise and Progress of a Re markable Work of Grace, among a Number of the Indians in New-Jersey and Pennsylvania/
In a Preface to this work, the Correspondents of the Society, who were its representatives in America, remark :—
' Whenever any of the guilty race of mankind are awakened to a just concern for their eternal interest, are humbled at the footstool of a soyereign God, and are persuaded and enabled to accept the offers of redeeming love, it must always be acknowledged a wonderful work of Divine Grace, which demands our thankful praises. But, doubtless, it is a more affecting evidence of almighty power, — a more illus trious display of sovereign mercy, when those are enlightened with the knowledge of salvation, who have for many ages dwelt in the grossest darkness and heathenism, and are brought to a cheerful subjec tion to the government of our Divine Redeemer, who, from generation to generation, had remained the voluntary slaves of " the prince of darkness."
' This is that delightful scene which will present itself to the Reader's view, while he attentively peruses the following pages. Nothing certainly can be more agreeable to a benevolent and religious mind, than to see those that were sunk in the most degenerate state of human nature, at once, not only renounce those barbarous customs to which they had been inured from their infancy, but surprisingly transformed into the character of real and devout Christians.
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1 This mighty change was brought about by the plain and faithful preaching of the Gospel, attended with an uncommon effusion of the Divine Spirit, under the ministry of the Rev. David Brainerd, a Missionary employed by the Honourable Society in Scotland for Propagating Christian Knowledge.
' And, surely, it will administer abundant matter of praise and thanksgiving to that honourable body, to find that their generous attempt to send the Gospel among the Indian Nations upon the borders of New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania, has met with such surprising success.
< When we see such numbers of the most ignorant and barbarous of mankind, in the space of a few months, "turned from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, it gives us encourage ment to wait and pray for that blessed time, when our Victorious Redeemer shall, in a more signal manner than he has yet done, display the " banner of his cross/' march on from *' conquering to conquer, till the kingdoms of this world are become the king doms of our Lord and of his Christ." — Yea, we can not but lift up our heads with joy, in hope that it may be the dawn of that bright and illustrious day when "the Sun of Righteousness shall arise, and shine from one end of the earth to the other;" — when, to use the language of the inspired prophets, " the Gentiles shall come to his light, and kings to the brightness of his rising ; " in consequence of which, " the wilderness and solitary places shall be glad, and the desert rejoice and blossom as the rose."'
This public journal begins June 19, 1745; and ends on the same day in 1746. We shall incorporate
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the most interesting parts of it, so far as it extends, with his private diary.
These Indians, among whom God gave such suc cess to his labours, lived at Crosweeksung, in New Jersey, nearly eighty miles south-eastward from his residence at the Forks of the Delaware. He did not visit them, till a second journey to the Susquehanna Indians had disheartened him, with respect to any success from labours among those tribes.
This second journey to the Susquehanna was undertaken in May, of this year ; on the 8th day of which month he set forward from the Forks of the Delaware.
He endured great hardships and fatigues in his way through a hideous wilderness ; where, after having lodged one night in the open woods, he was overtaken with a north-easterly storm, in which he was almost ready to perish. Having no manner of shelter, and not being able to make a fire in so great a rain, he could have no comfort if he halted ; and therefore determined to go forward in the hope of meeting with some shelter, without which he thought it impossible he should live the night through : but the horses which he and his interpreter rode, happening to have eaten of some poisonous vege tables, for want of other food, at a place where they they lodged the night before, were so sick, that they could neither ride nor lead them, but were obliged to drive them before them, and travel on foot; until, through the mercy of God, just at dusk, they came to a bark-hut, where they lodged that night.
After he reached the Susquehanna, he travelled about a hundred miles on the river, and visited many towns and settlements of the Indians ; saw some
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of seven or eight distinct tribes ; and preached to different nations, by different interpreters. He was sometimes much discouraged, and his spirits de pressed, by the opposition that appeared in the Indians to Christianity : at other times, he was encouraged by the disposition that some of them manifested to hear, and their willingness to be instructed. He here met with some who had been his hearers at Kaunaumeek, and had removed hither ; who saw and heard him again with great joy. He spent a fort night among the Indians on this river ; and passed through considerable labours and hardships, fre quently lodging on the ground, and sometimes in the open air : and, at length, he fell extremely ill, as he was riding in the wilderness ; being seized with an ague, followed with a burning fever, and extreme pains in his head and bowels, attended with a great evacuation of blood ; so that he thought he must have perished in the wilderness. But, at last, coming to an Indian trader's hut, he got leave to stay there ; and, though without physic or food proper for him, it pleased God, after about a week's distress, to relieve him so far, that he was able to ride. He returned homeward from Juneata, an island far down the river ; where was a considerable number of In dians, who appeared more free from prejudices against Christianity than most of the other Indians. He arrived at the Forks of the Delaware on Thursday, May 30, after having rode in this journey about three hundred and forty miles. He came home in a very weak state, and under dejection of mind.
In the interval between his return from this second journey to the Susquehanna, and his visit to the Indians of Crosweeksung, he assisted, on a sacra-
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mental occasion, at Mr. Beatty's church, about fifty miles from his home ; having been invited by Mr. Beatty and his congregation. After the administration of the Lord's Supper, he preached to a great assembly, of three or four thousand persons, with such effect from Isaiah liii. 10. " Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him/' that numbers were brought under serious and deep impressions.
Speaking of himself at this time, he wrote to a friend : —
' As my body was very feeble, so my mind was scarcely ever so much damped and discouraged about the conversion of the Indians. And, in this state of body and mind, I made my first visit to the Indians of New Jersey ; where God was pleased to display his power and grace in the remarkable manner which I have represented in my printed journal/
After leaving Mr. Beatty, he spent a few days in visiting several ministers in those parts, and arrived among the Indians of Crosweeksung on the 19th of June, 1745.
We shall extract his account of his first entrance among this people.
* Having spent most of my time for more than a year past amongst the Indians in the Forks of Dela ware in Pennsylvania, andvhaving in that time made two journeys to Susquahannah river, far back in that province, in order to treat with the Indians re specting Christianity; and not having had any ap pearance of special success in either of those places, which damped my spirits and was not a little dis couraging to me ; upon hearing that there were a number of Indians at Crosweeksung, in New Jersey, near fourscore miles south-east from the Forks of
N
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Delaware, I determined to make them a visit, and see what might be done towards their conversion. I accordingly arrived among them this day.
' I found very few persons at the place I visited, and perceived that the Indians in these parts were much scattered, there being not more than two or three families in a place ; and these small settlements, six, ten, fifteen, twenty, and thirty miles, and some more, from the place I was then at. However, I preached to those few whom I found ; who appeared well dis posed, and not inclined to object and cavil, as the Indians had frequently done elsewhere.
' When I had concluded my discourse, I informed them (there being none but a few women and chil dren,) that I would willingly visit them again the next day. Whereupon they readily set out and travelled ten or fifteen miles, in order to give notice to some of their friends at that distance. These women, like the woman of Samaria, seemed desirous that others might " see the man that told them what they had done " in their lives past, and the misery that attended their idolatrous ways.
' June 20. Visited and preached to the Indians again, as I proposed. Numbers more were gathered at the invitations of their friends who had heard me the day before. These also appeared as attentive, orderly, and well disposed as the others. And none made any objection, as the Indians in other places have usually done.
' June 22. Preached to the Indians again. Their number, which at first consisted of about seven or eight persons, was now increased to near thirty.
' There was not only a solemn attention among them, but some considerable impressions (it was
THIRD YEAR OF HIS MISSION. 179
apparent) were made on their minds by divine truths. Some began to feel their misery and perishing state, and appeared concerned for a deliverance from it. My soul was much refreshed, and quickened in my work ; and I could not but spend much time with them, in order to open both their misery and remedy. This was indeed a blessed afternoon to me. While riding, before I came to the Indians, my spirits were refreshed, and my soul enabled to cry to God almost incessantly, for many miles together. In the evening, also, I found the consolations of God were not small. I was then willing to live, and in some respects de sirous of it, that I might do something for the king dom of Christ ; and yet death appeared pleasant: so that I was in some measure in a strait between two, having a desire to depart. I am often weary of this world, and want to leave it on that account : but it is desirable to be drawn, rather than driven out of it.
' June 28. The Indians being now gathered, a considerable number of them, from their several and distant habitations, requested me to preach twice a day to them, being desirous to hear as much as they possibly could while I was with them. I cheerfully complied with their motion, and could not but admire the goodness of God, who, I was persuaded, had inclined them thus to inquire after the way of salvation.
* June 29. Preached again twice to the Indians. Saw, as I thought, the hand of God very evidently, and in a manner somewhat remarkable, making pro vision for their subsistence together, in order to their being instructed in divine things. For this day, and the day before, with only walking a little way from
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the place of our daily meeting, they killed three deer, which were a seasonable supply for their wrants; and without which, it seems, they could not have subsisted together in order to attend the means of grace.
' Lord's-day, June 30. Preached twice this day also. Observed yet more concern and affection among the poor heathens than ever ; so that they even con strained me to tarry yet longer with them, although my constitution was exceedingly worn out, and my health much impaired by rny late fatigues and labours, and especially by my late journey to Sus- quehanna, in May last, in which I lodged on the ground for several weeks together.
' July 1. Preached again twice to a very serious and attentive assembly of Indians ; they having now learned to attend the worship of God with Christian decency, in all respects. There were now between forty and fifty persons present, old and young. I spent some considerable time in discoursing with them in a more private way, inquiring of them what they remembered of the great truths that had been taught them from day to day ; and may justly say, it was amazing to see how they had received and retained the instructions given them, and what a measure of knowledge some of them had acquired in a few days.
* July 2. Was obliged to leave these Indians at Crosweeksung, thinking it my duty, as soon as health would admit, again to visit those at the Forks of the Delaware. When I came to take leave of them, and spoke something particularly to each of them, they all earnestly inquired when I would come again, and expressed a great desire of being further instructed ;
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and of their own accord agreed, that, when I should come again, they would all meet and live together during my continuance with them; and that they would do their utmost endeavours to gather all the other Indians in these parts that were yet further remote. And when I parted, one told me with many tears, she wished ' God would change her heart ; ' another, that she wanted ' to find Christ:' and an old man, who had been one of their chiefs, wept bit terly with concern for his soul. I then promised them to return as speedily as my health and business elsewhere would admit! and felt not a little con cerned at parting, lest the good impressions then apparent among numbers of them, might decline and wear off, when the means came to cease ; and yet could not but hope that He, who, I trusted, had begun a good work among them, and who I knew did not stand in need of means to carry it on, would maintain and promote it in the absence of them : although, at the same time, I must confess, that I had so often seen such encouraging appearances among the Indians elsewhere prove wholly abortive, and it appeared the favour would be so great, if God should now, after I had passed through so considerable a series of almost fruitless labours and fatigues, and after my rising hopes had been so often frustrated among these poor pagans, give me any special success in my labours with them, that I could not believe, and scarce dared to hope, that the event would be so happy, and scarcely ever found myself more sus pended between hope and fear, in any affair, or at any time, than in this matter.
*" This encouraging disposition and readiness to re ceive instruction, now apparent among these Indians,
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seems to have been the happy effect of the convic tion that one or two of them met with some time since, at the Forks of the Delaware, who have since endeavoured to show their friends the evil of idolatry ; and, although the other Indians seemed but little to regard, but rather to deride them ; yet this, perhaps, has put them into a thinking posture of mind, and so made way for the present encouraging attention. An apprehension that this might be the case here, has given me encouragement to hope that God may in such manner bless the means which I have used with Indians in other places, where there is as yet no appearance of it. If go, may his name have the glory of it ; for I have learned by experience, that he only can open the ear, engage the attention, and incline the heart of these poor benighted prejudiced pagans, to receive instruction.'
His constant preaching to these Indians had so reduced him, in the short time spent among them, that he found it necessary to give himself some re laxation. After he had left them, therefore, he spent about a week in New Jersey, among his friends, be fore he returned to the Forks of the Delaware ; where he arrived on the 12th of July— though weak in body, yet strong in spirit.
Here he stayed but a short time, setting off on his return to his Indians at Crosweeksung, on the last day of this month. He seems, however, to have had more encouragement with respect to these Indians, during this period, than he had felt before. His in terpreter being now admitted to baptism, together with his wife, these first members of the Christian church from among his Indians were received in the presence of their countrymen, in some of whom the
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administration of the sacred ordinance of baptism excited, as they acknowledged to him, a greater con cern for themselves than any thing that they had ever seen or heard before.
We shall here introduce Brainerd's narrative of the work of grace in the mind of his interpreter. It may serve as an example and encouragement to others to labour — as we know from his Journal that Brain erd did for his interpreter — with unwearied faith and patience, for the conversion of men em ployed by them in a like capacity.
Of both the husband and the wife, he says, that they were awakened to a solemn concern for their souls — appeared to be brought to a sense of their lost estate, and to be comforted with divine consola tions — and that a great change had evidently passed upon them.
Of his interpreter he writes —
' When I first employed him in this business, in the beginning of the summer of 1744, he was well fitted for his work, in regard of his acquaintance with the Indian and English languages, as well as with the manners of both nations ; and in regard of his desire that the Indians should conform to the cus toms and manners of the English, and especially to their manner of living. But he seemed to have little or no impression of religion on his mind ; and, in that respect, was very unfit for his work, being in capable of understanding and communicating to others many things of importance ; so that I laboured under great disadvantages in addressing the Indians, for want of his having an experimental as well as more doctrinal acquaintance with divine truths ; and at times my spirits sank, and were much discouraged
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under this difficulty, especially when I observed that divine truths made little or no impression on his mind for many weeks together.
' He indeed behaved soberly, after I employed him, although before he had been a hard drinker ; and seemed honestly engaged, so far as he was ca pable, in the performance of his work : and, espe cially, he appeared very desirous that the Indians should renounce their heathenish notions and prac tices, and conform to the customs of the Christian world ; but still seemed to have no concern about his own soul, till he had been with me a considerable time.
1 Near the latter end of July 1744, I preached to an assembly of white people, with more freedom and fervency than I could possibly address the Indians with, without their having first attained a greater measure of doctrinal knowledge : at which time he was present, and was somewhat awakened to a con cern for his soul ; so that the next day he discoursed freely with me about his spiritual concerns, and gave me an opportunity to use further endeavours to fasten the impressions of his perishing state upon his mind : and I could plainly perceive, for some time after this, that he addressed the Indians with more concern and fervency than he had formerly done.
4 But these impressions seemed quickly to decline, and he remained, in a great measure, careless and secure, until some time late in the fall of the year following; at which time he fell into a weak and languishing state of body, and continued much dis ordered for several weeks together: and, at this season, divine truth took hold of him, and made deep impressions on his mind. He was brought
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under great concern for his soul — not now transient and unsteady, but constant and abiding ; so that his mind was burdened from day to day ; and it was now his great inquiry, what he should do to be saved. His spiritual trouble prevailed, till, at length, his sleep, in a measure, departed from him; and he had little rest day or night, but walked about under a great pressure of mind (for though he was disordered, he was still able to walk), and appeared like another man to his neighbours, who could not but observe his behaviour with wonder.
' After he had been some time in this state, while he was striving for mercy, he says, there seemed to be an impassable mountain before him. He was pressing toward heaven, as he thought, but ' his way was hedged up with thorns, that he could not stir an inch further/ He looked this way and that way, but could find no way at all. He thought if he could but make his way through these thorns and briars, and climb up the first steep pitch of the mountain, that then there might be hope for him ; but no way or means could he find to accomplish this. Here he laboured for a time, but all in vain : he saw it was impossible, he says, for him ever to help himself through this insupportable difficulty. He felt it signified nothing, — ' it signified just nothing at all for him to strive and struggle any more/ And here, he says, he gave over striving, and felt that it was a lost case with him, as to his own power, and that all his attempts were, and for ever would be, vain and fruitless ; and yet he was more calm and composed under this view of things, than he had been while striving to help himself.
' While he was giving me this account, I was not
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without fears that what he related was but the work ing of his own imagination, and not the effect of any divine illumination of mind. But before I had time to discover my fears, he added, that at this time he felt himself in a miserable and perishing condition ; that he saw plainly what he had been doing all his days ; and that he had never done one good thing, as he expressed it. He knew, he said, he was not guilty of some wicked actions which he knew some others were guilty of. He had not been used to steal, quarrel, and murder ; the latter of which vices are common among the Indians. He likewise knew that he had done many things that were right ; he had been kind to his neighbours, &c. But still his cry was, 'that he had never done one good thing;' meaning that he had never done any thing from a right principle, and with a right view, though he had done many things that were materially good and right. * And now I thought/ said he, * that I must sink down to hell ; that there was no hope for me, because I never could do any thing that was good ; and if God let me alone never so long, and I should try never so much, still I should do nothing but what is bad/
' This further account satisfied me, that he was not under the mere working of his imagination ; since he appeared so evidently to die to himself, and to be divorced from a dependence on his own right eousness and good deeds, which mankind, in a fallen state, are always so much attached to, and inclined to hope for salvation upon.
' There was one thing more in his views, at this time, that was very remarkable. He not only saw, he says, what a miserable state he himself was in,
ACCOUNT OF HIS INTERPRETER. 187
but he likewise saw that the world around him, in general, were in the same perishing circumstances ; notwithstanding the profession whicli many of them made of Christianity, and the hope that they enter tained of obtaining everlasting happiness. And this he saw clearly, ' as if he was now awaked out of sleep, or had a cloud taken from before his eyes.' He saw that the life which he had lived was the way to eternal death, and that he was now on the brink of endless misery ; and, when he looked round, he saw- multitudes of others who had lived the same life with himself, had no more goodness than he, and yet dreamed that they were safe enough, as he had for merly done. He was fully persuaded, by their con versation and behaviour, that they had never felt their sin and misery as he now felt his.
* After he had been for some time in this condi tion, sensible of the impossibility of helping himself by any thing that he could do, or of being delivered by any created arm, so that he ' had given up all for lost,' as to his own attempts, and was become more calm and composed ; then, he says, it was borne in upon his mind as if it had been audibly spoken to him, * There is hope, there is hope!' Whereupon his soul seemed to rest, and be in some measure satisfied, though he had no considerable joy.
' He cannot here remember distinctly any views that he had of Christ, or give any clear account of his soul's acceptance of him, which makes his expe rience appear the more doubtful, and renders it less satisfactory to himself and others, than perhaps it might be, if he could remember distinctly the appre hensions and actings of his mind at this season.
' But these exercises of soul were attended and fol-
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lowed with a very great change in the man ; so that it might justly be said, he was become another man, if not a new man. His conversation and deportment were much altered, and even the careless world could not but admire what had befallen him, to make so great a change in his temper, discourse and beha viour.
' And especially there was a surprising alteration in his public performances. He now addressed the Indians with admirable fervency, and scarce knew when to leave off: and, sometimes, when I had con cluded my discourse, and was returning homeward, he would tarry behind to repeat and inculcate what had been spoken.
* His change is abiding ; and his life, so far as I know, unblemished to this day, though it is now more than six months since he experienced this change; in which space of time he has been as much exposed to strong drink as possible, in divers places where it has been using us freely as water ; and yet has never, as I know of, discovered any hankering desire after it.
* He discourses feelingly of the conflicts and con solations of a real Christian. His heart echoes to the soul-humbling doctrines of grace. He has likewise of late had more satisfaction respecting his own state, and has been much enlivened and assisted in his work ; so that he has been a great comfort to me.
' On a view and strict observation of his serious and savoury conversation, his Christian temper, and unblemished behaviour, for so considerable a time, as well as his experience, which I have given an ac count of, I think that I have reason to hope that he is created anew in Christ Jesus to good works.
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' His name is Moses Tinda Tautamy. He is about fifty years of age. and is pretty well acquainted with the Pagan notions and customs of his countrymen, and so is the better able now to expose them. He has, I am persuaded, already been, and, I trust, will yet be, a blessing to the other Indians.'
Brainerd's frame of mind appears to have been, at this period, peculiarly elevated and heavenly. He writes on the 26th of July :—
' God was pleased to help me in prayer, beyond what I have experienced for some time. My soul was especially drawn out for the enlargement of Christ's kingdom, and for the conversion of my peo ple ; and my spirit relied on God for the accomplish ment of that great work.
* Oh, how sweet were the thoughts of death to me at this time ! Oh, how I longed to be with Christ; to be employed in the glorious work of angels ; and with an angel's freedom, vigour, and delight! And yet how willing was I to stay a while on earth, that I might do something, if the Lord pleased, for his interest in the world! My soul, my very soul! longed for the ingathering of the Heathen ; and I cried to God for them most willingly and heartily. Oh, how I longed that the remaining part of my life might be filled up with some fervency and activity in the things of God! Oh, the inward peace, com posure, and god-like serenity of such a frame! Heaven must needs differ from this only in degree, not in kind. Lord! ever give me this bread of life ! '
On the 31st of July, Brainerd set out on his journey to Crosweeksung, and arrived there the next day. He appears to have entered on his work at
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this place, in a frame of mind prepared for the signal success which immediately attended his ministry.
He says of the Indians to whom he was going: —
* I was much enlarged in praying for their saving conversion ; and scarce ever found my desires of any thing of this nature so sensibly and clearly (to my own satisfaction) disinterested, and free from selfish views. It seemed to me that I had no care, or hardly any desire, to be the instrument of so glorious a work, as I wished and prayed for among the Indians : if the blessed work might be accomplished to the honour of God, and the enlargement of the Re deemer's kingdom, this was all my desire and care ; and for this mercy I hoped, but with trembling ; for I felt what Job expresses, chap. ix. 16. My rising hopes, respecting the conversion of the Indians, have been so often dashed, that my spirit is, as it were, broken, and my courage wasted, and I hardly dare hope/
The scene which followed is one of the most re markable in the records of the church. It pleased God to accompany the labours of His servant with the influences of His Spirit, in a manner very un usual; and to give sufficient evidence that the work was perfectly rational and scriptural.
We have seen the deep concern which \vas awak ened under Brainerd's preaching among these In dians, on his first visit. He now found this concern much increased, and the convictions of their sinful state greatly strengthened, chiefly by the labours of a neighbouring minister, to whom he had advised them to have recourse during his absence.
Saturday, August 3. He preached to them from Rev. xxii. 17. " And whosoever will, let him take of
THIRD YEAR OF HIS MISSION'. 191
the water of life freely." A peculiar blessing accom panied the word. He expresses his persuasion that he was enabled, on this occasion, in a manner some what uncommon, to set before the Indians the Lord Jesus Christ as a kind and compassionate Saviour, and to invite distressed and perishing sinners to ac cept mercy. A deep impression became apparent among them. Out of about twenty adult Indians, (many from remote places not having had time to assemble,) not more than two could refrain from tears. Some of them discovered vehement longings of soul that Christ would save them from the misery which they felt or feared.
This was the beginning of the great work of which he was made the instrument. For the next eight or ten days he was almost wholly occupied, during his waking hours, in preaching to his Indians, or in conversing with them on the state of their minds.
Sunday, August 4. Having been invited by a neighbouring minister, to assist in the administration of the Lord's Supper, he complied, and took his In dians with him ; who had now collected together to the amount of nearly fifty, old and young. The se veral discourses of the day strengthened the impres sions that had been made on them. A change began to discover itself in their manners. In the evening, when they met to sup together, they would not taste their food, till they had sent to Brainerd to come and ask a blessing on it; on which occasion some of them wept, especially when he reminded them that they had , in time past, eaten their feasts in honour of devils.
Aug. 5. After a sermon had been preached by another minister, Brainerd concluded this sacra mental solemnity by a discourse from John vii. 37.
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In the evening, he conversed with the Indians, the greater part of whom were at the house where he lodged, and found them universally inquiring what they should do to be saved. All their discourse turned on the concerns of their souls. They were much assisted by his Interpreter, who was with them day and night. One woman, who had been anxiously seeking peace since she had heard Brainerd preach in June, seemed to have obtained solid and well- grounded comfort ; being filled with love to Christ, and at the same time evincing an humble and tender spirit, afraid of nothing so much as of grieving and oifending Him whom her soul loved.
Aug. 6. In the morning, before they returned home, Brainerd preached to the Indians, at the house where they all lodged ; when many of them were much affected; and appeared in so tender a spirit, that a few words caused their tears to flow freely, and drew forth many sobs and groans.
In the afternoon, having reached home, he again preached, from 1 John iv. 10, when there were about fifty-five persons present, forty of whom were of sufficient age to hear with understanding. They lis tened with fixed attention, for some time ; but, near the close of the discourse, the truth was attended with peculiar power, for scarcely three in the forty could refrain from tears. All, as one man, seemed in an agony of soul to obtain salvation. The more he discoursed of the love and compassion of God in sending His Son to die for sinners, and the more earnestly he invited them to come and partake of His love, the more pungent their distress seemed, as feeling their own inability to apply His mercy to themselves. ' It was surprising,' he says, * to see
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how their hearts seemed to be pierced with the tender and melting invitations of the Gospel, when there was not a word of terror spoken to them.' He him self stood amazed at the gracious influence by which the word was attended, and observes, ' I can say no less of this day, than that the arm of the Lord was powerfully revealed in it/
Two of the Indians appeared to rest on solid and scriptural grounds of peace: when he asked them what further blessing they would beg of God, they replied in their simple manner, that they ' wanted Christ to wipe their hearts quite clean/
August 7. He preached to the Indians from Isaiah liii. 3—10. Most of his hearers were much affected, and many in great distress. Some few seemed pierced, as it were, to the heart, and cried unceasingly for mercy. Those who came in from remote places no sooner joined the congregation, than a sacred influence seemed to rest on their minds. Several others were enabled to gather com fort from the gospel ; and he noticed as observable, that those who first derived peace from a view of the gospel, were in general deeply affected with concern for their salvation, when he preached to them in June ; which marked the rational and scriptural nature of the work in their minds.
August 8. In the afternoon, he preached to the Indians, now about sixty-five in number, from Luke xiv. 16—23, with unusual freedom of mind.
As he went among them, after his discourse, speaking to one and another whom he perceived under much concern, it pleased God, in a singular manner, to bear testimony to the word of his grace, and to bless the labours of his servant, o
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His own words will best depict this scene : — ' I stood amazed at the influence that seized the audience, almost universally ; and could compare it to nothing more aptly, than the irresistible force of a mighty torrent, or swelling deluge, which, with its insupportable weight and pressure, bears down and sweeps before it whatever is in its way. Almost all persons, of all ages, were bowed down with concern together; and scarcely one was able to withstand the power of this surprising operation. Old men and women, who had been drunken wretches for many years, and some little children, not more than six or seven years of age, appeared in distress for their souls, as well as persons of middle age. Arid it was apparent, that these children (some of them at least) were not merely frightened with seeing the general concern, but were made sensible of their danger, the badness of their hearts, and their misery without Christ, as some of them expressed it. The most stubborn hearts were now obliged to bow. A prin cipal man among the Indians, who before was most secure and self-righteous, and thought his state good, because he knew more than the generality of the Indians had formerly done, and who, with a great degree of confidence, only the day before, told me, he had ' been a Christian more than ten years,' was now brought under solemn concern for his soul, and wept bitterly. Another man, considerably in years, who had been a murderer, a powaw or conjuror, and a notorious drunkard, was likewise brought now to cry for mercy with many tears, and to complain much that he could be no more concerned when he saw his danger so very great.
' They were almost universally praying and crying
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for mercy in every part of the house, and many out of doors ; and numbers could neither go nor stand. Their concern was so great, each one for himself, that none seemed to take any notice of those about them ; but each prayed as freely for themselves, and, I am apt to think, were, to their own apprehension, as much retired, as if they had been every one by themselves in the thickest desert; or, I believe rather, that they thought nothing about any but themselves, and their own states, and so were every one praying apart, although all together.
' It seemed to me there was now an exact fulfilment of that prophecy, Zech. xii. 10, 11, 12; for there was now " a great mourning, like the mourning of Hadadrimmon ; " and each seemed to " mourn apart/' Methought this had a near resemblance to the day of God's power, mentioned Joshua x. 14 ; for I must say, I never saw any day like it in all respects. It was a day wherein, I am persuaded, the Lord did much to destroy the kingdom of darkness among this people.
* This concern, in general, was most rational and just. Those who had been awakened any consider able time, complained more especially of the badness of their hearts; and those newly awakened, of the badness of their lives and actions past; and all were afraid of the anger of God, and of everlasting misery as the desert of sin.
* Several of the white people, who came out of curiosity to " hear what this babbler would say" to the poor ignorant Indians, were much awakened, and some appeared to be wounded with a view of their perishing state.
' Those who had lately obtained relief, were filled 02
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with comfort at this season. They appeared calm and composed, and seemed to rejoice in Christ Jesus ; and some of them took their distressed friends by the hand, telling them of the goodness of Christ, and the comfort that is to be enjoyed in him, and thence invited them to come and give up their hearts to him: and I could observe some of them, in the most honest and unaffected manner (without any design of being taken notice of), lifting up their eyes to heaven, as if crying for mercy, while they saw the distress of the poor souls around them.
' There was one remarkable instance of awakening this day, which I cannot but take particular notice of. A young Indian woman, who, I believe, never knew before that she had a soul, nor ever thought of any such thing, hearing that there was something strange among the Indians, came, it seems, to see what was the matter: she, in her way to the Indians, called at my lodgings, and when I told her I de signed presently to preach to the Indians, laughed and seemed to mock, but went, however, to them. I had not proceeded far, in my public discourse, before she felt effectually that she had a soul ; and before I had concluded my discourse, was so con vinced of her sin and misery, and so distressed with concern for her soul's salvation, that she seemed like one pierced through with a dart, and cried out in cessantly. She could neither go nor stand, nor sit on her seat, without being held up. After public service was over, she lay flat on the ground, praying t earnestly, and would take no notice of, nor give any answer to any that spoke to her. I hearkened to hear what she said, and perceived the burden of her
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prayer to be, Guttummaukalummeh, wechaumeh kmeleh Ndah, i. e. " Have mercy on me, and help me to give you my heart." And thus she continued pray ing incessantly for many hours together.
'This was indeed a surprising day of God's power; and seemed enough to convince an Atheist of the truth, importance, and power of God's word.'
August 9. — He spent the former part of the day with his Indians ; in giving them suitable cautions and directions: and, in the afternoon, to about seventy persons, old and young, he explained and applied the Parable of the Sower.
While he was addressing himself, near night, to two or three of his awakened Indians, a scene fol lowed somewhat of the nature of that which had taken place the day before.
* A divine influence,' he says, ' seemed to attend what was spoken to them in a powerful manner, which caused the persons to cry out in anguish of soul, although I spoke not a word of terror; but, on the contrary, set before them the fulness and all- sufficiency of Christ's merits, and his willingness to save all that came to him ; and thereupon pressed them to come without delay.
' The cry of these was soon heard by others, who, though scattered before, immediately gathered round. I then proceeded in the same strain of gospel-in vitation, till they were all melted into tears and cries, except two or three; and seemed in the greatest distress to find and secure salvation in the great Redeemer. Some who had but little more than a ruffle made in their passions the day before, seemed now to be deeply affected and wounded at heart ; and the concern in general appeared near as
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prevalent as it was the day before. There was, indeed, a very great mourning among them, and yet every one seemed to mourn apart ; for so great was their concern, that almost every one was praying and crying for himself, as if none had been near. (•ruttummaukalummeh, guttummaukalummeh, i. e. " Have mercy upon me, have mercy upon me! " was the common cry.
' It was very affecting to see the poor Indians, who the other day were hallooing and yelling at their idolatrous feasts and drunken frolics, now crying to God with such importunity for pardon in his dear Son/
August 10. — He writes on this day : — ' Rode to the Indians, and began to discourse more privately to those who had obtained comfort and satisfaction; endeavouring to instruct, direct, caution, and comfort them. But others being eager to hear every word that related to spiritual concerns, soon came together one after another: and when I had discoursed to the young converts more than half an hour, they seemed much melted with divine things, and earnestly desirous to be with Christ. I told them of the godly soul's perfect purity, and full enjoyment of Christ, immediately upon its separation from the body ; and that it would be for ever inconceivably more happy than they had ever been for any short space of time, when Christ seemed near to them in prayer or other duties. And, that I might make way for speaking of the resurrection of the body, and thence of the complete blessedness of the man, I said, ' But perhaps some of you will say, ' I love my body as well as my soul; and I cannot bear to think that my body should lie dead, if my soul is happy."
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To which they all cheerfully replied, Muttoh, Muttoh, No, No, (before I had opportunity to prosecute, what I designed respecting the resurrection). They did not regard their bodies, if their souls might but be with Christ. They then appeared " willing to be absent from the body, that they might be present with the Lord."
1 When I had spent some time with these, I turned to the other Indians, and spoke to them from Luke xix. 10. I had not discoursed long, before their concern rose to a great degree, and the house was filled with cries and groans. And when I insisted on the compassion and care of the Lord Jesus Christ for those that were lost, who thought themselves undone, and could find no way of escape, this melted them down the more, and aggravated their distress, that they could not find and come to so kind a Saviour.
1 Sundry persons who before had been but slightly awakened, were now deeply wounded with a sense of their sin and misery. And one man in particular, who was never before awakened, was now made to feel that *' the word of the Lord was quick and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword." He seemed to be pierced at heart with distress, and his concern appeared most rational and scriptural : for he said, ' All the wickedness of my past life is brought fresh to my remembrance ; and I see all the vile actions which I have done formerly, as if done but yesterday.'
' Found one that had newly received comfort, after pressing distress from day to day. Could not but rejoice and admire at divine goodness in what ap peared this day. There seems to have been some
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good done by every discourse; some newly awakened every day, and some comforted.
' It was refreshing to observe the conduct of those that had obtained comfort. While others were dis tressed with fear and concern, these were lifting up their hearts to God for them/
Sunday, August 11. In the forenoon he dis coursed from the parable of the prodigal son ; but observed no such remarkable effect of the word as in days passed. Numbers of careless hearers were present from among the white people. In the after noon, from a part of St. Peter's discourse in the second chapter of the Acts. A great concern spread through the whole assembly, both English and Indians.
Of the state of the Indian converts he remarks : —
4 Those that had obtained relief and comfort, and had given hopeful evidences of having experienced a saving change, appeared humble and devout, and behaved in an agreeable and Christian manner. I was refreshed to see the tenderness of conscience manifest in some of them, one instance of which I cannot but take notice of. Perceiving one of them very sorrowful in the morning, I inquired into the cause of her sorrow, and found it to be that she had been angry with her child the evening before, arid was now exercised with fears, lest her anger had been inordinate and sinful ; which so grieved her, that she waked, and began to sob before day light, and continued weeping for several hours together.'
On Wednesday, he writes : —
* Spent the day with the Indians. There was one of them who had some time since put away his wife
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(as is common among them), and taken another woman ; and being now brought under some serious impressions, was much concerned about that affair in particular, and seemed fully convinced of the wickedness of that practice, and earnestly desirous to know what God would have him to do in his pre sent circumstances. When the law of God respecting marriage had been opened to them, and the cause of his leaving his wife inquired into ; and when it ap peared that she had given him no just occasion by unchastity to desert her, and that she was willing to forgive his past misconduct, and to live peaceably with him for the future, and that she moreover then insisted on her right to him, as her husband ; he was then told, that it was his indispensable duty to renounce the woman whom he had last taken, and receive the first, who was his proper wife, and live peaceably with her during life; with which he readily and cheerfully complied, and thereupon publicly re nounced the woman whom he had last taken, and promised to live with and be kind to his wife during life ; she also promising the same to him. And here appeared a clear demonstration of the power of God's word upon their hearts. I suppose that, a few weeks before, the whole world could not have per suaded this man to a compliance with Christian rules in this affair.
' I was not without fears, lest this proceeding might belike ''putting new wine into old bottles;" and that some might be prejudiced against Christianity, when they saw the changes made by it. But the man being much concerned about the matter, the determination of it could be deferred no longer ; and it seemed to have a good, rather than an ill effect
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among the Indians, who generally owned, that the laws of Christ were good and right respecting the affairs of marriage.'
This remarkable awakening among the Indians, subsided gradually into a calm and settled state. In the days immediately following those which we have named, the affections of the hearers began to be less violently moved, but their hearts seemed as solidly and deeply impressed as ever with divine truths ; although the concern did not seem to reach every individual in such manner as on some former days. Old men began to seek for salvation ; they could not refrain from weeping and crying aloud. True and genuine convictions of sin were daily gaining ground ; though some few, whose passions were per haps moved by sympathy with others in days passed, began to manifest that their hearts were never duly affected.
During this period, Brainepd's private Diary at tests his earnest and importunate wrestlings with God in prayer for his Indians ; and his great refreshment and joy in witnessing the wonderful mercy of God, and the manifestations of his power and grace among them ; with his ardent thanksgivings, and the re joicing of his heart in Christ, as King of his church and Lord of his soul.
A passage in his public journal shows him, like the true servant of his Master, sinking into himself, and accounting nothing of his own services.
' I never saw the work of God, he says, appear so independent of means as at this time. I discoursed to the people, and spoke what (I suppose) had a proper tendency to promote convictions ; and God's manner of working upon them appeared so entirely
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supernatural, and above means, that I could scarce believe he used me as an instrument, or what I spake as means of carrying on his work ; for it seemed, as I thought, to have no connection with, nor dependence upon means in any respect. And although I could not but continue to use the means which I thought proper for the promotion of the work, yet God seemed (as I apprehended) to work entirely without them : so that I seemed to do nothing, and indeed to have nothing to do, but " to stand still and see the salva tion of God;" and found myself obliged and de lighted to say, " Not unto us," not unto instruments and means, " but to thy name be glory ."'
That this was the genuine feeling of his mind, and that he was dead to himself and alive unto God, was evidenced a few days after, on occasion of his preaching to a considerable congregation, at a neigh bouring minister's, from Matt. v. 3, when, he feelingly says : —
* It pleased God to leave me very dry and barren; so that I do not remember to have been so straitened for a whole twelvemonth past. God is just, and he has made my soul acquiesce in his will in this regard. It is contrary to flesh and blood to be cut off from all freedom in a large auditory, where their expectations are much raised : but it was so with me ; and God helped me to say " Amen " to it — " Good is the will of the Lord ! "
We have traced the beginning of that striking work among the Indians of Crosweeksung, of which Brainerd was made the instrument ; and have brought his journal to the month of August, 1745.
In the months of September, October, and Novem ber his labours were equally unwearied ; and were
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attended with the most encouraging; evidences of the divine blessing. His private journal indicates, through this period, a state of mind almost invari ably happy ; and, frequently, great nearness to God, and elevation above the world.
He began to take pains with some of his Indians, in order to prepare them for baptism ; and his labours were attended with a salutary influence on their minds.
On the day preceding the administration of the ordinance, he discoursed to them from 1 Thess. iv. 13 — 17; and observes —
4 There were several Indians newly come, who thought their state good, and themselves happy, because they had sometimes lived with the white people under gospel-light, had learned to read, were civil, &c.; although they appeared utter strangers to their own hearts, and altogether unacquainted with the power of religion, as well as with the doctrines of grace. With those I discoursed particularly after public worship ; and was surprised to see their self- righteous disposition, their strong attachment to the covenant of works for salvation, and the high value which they put on their supposed attainments. Yet, after much discourse, one appeared, in a measure, convinced that " by the deeds of the law no flesh living should be justified ;" and wept bitterly, in quiring what he must do to be saved.
This was very comfortable to others, who had gained some experimental acquaintance with their own hearts : for, before, they were grieved with the conduct and conversation of these new-comers, who boasted of their knowledge, and thought well of them selves; but evidently discovered to those that had
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any experience of divine truths, that they knew no thing of their own hearts/
Of the baptism of these Indians, he writes: —
' Sunday, Aug. 25. — Baptized twenty-five persons of the Indians ; fifteen adults, and ten children. Most of the adults, I have reason to hope, are re newed persons.
4 After the crowd of spectators was gone, I called the baptized persons together, and discoursed to them in particular, at the same time inviting others to attend ; reminded them of the solemn obligations which they were now under, to live to God ; warned them of the evil and dreadful consequences of care less living, especially after this public profession of Christianity ; gave them directions for their future conduct ; and encouraged them to watchfulness and devotion, by setting before them the comfort and happy conclusion of a religious life.
' This was a desirable season indeed ! Their hearts were cheerful in duty, and they rejoiced that they had in a public and solemn manner dedicated them selves to God. Love seemed to reign among them. They took one another by the hand with affection, as if their hearts were knit together, while I was dis coursing to them : and all their deportment toward one another was such, that a serious spectator might justly be excited to cry out with admiration, ' Behold how they love one another!' Sundry of the other Indians, at seeing and hearing these things, were much affected, and wept bitterly ; longing to be partakers of the same joy and comfort that these discovered by their very countenances as well as conduct/
The next day Brainerd preached to his people,
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from John vi. 51 — 55. His account of the effects of this discourse will serve as an illustration of that gracious influence which now frequently attended his ministry.
4 After I had discoursed some time, I addressed those in particular who entertained hopes that they had " passed from death unto life " — opened to them the persevering nature of those consolations which Christ gives his people, and which I trusted he had bestowred upon some in that assembly — shewed them that such have already " the beginnings of eternal life," (ver. 54.) and that their heaven shall speedily be completed, &c.
' I no sooner began to discourse in this strain, but the dear Christians in the congregation began to be melted with affection to and desire of the enjoyment of Christ, and of a state of perfect purity. They wept affectionately and yet joyfully, and their tears and sobs discovered brokenness of heart, arid yet were attended with real comfort ; so that this appeared to be the genuine effect of a spirit of adoption, and very far from that spirit of bondage that they not long since laboured under. The influence seemed to spread from these through the whole assembly, and there quickly appeared a wonderful concern among them. Many who had not yet found Christ as an all-sufficient Saviour, were surprisingly engaged in seeking after him. It was indeed a lovely assembly. Their number was now about ninety-five persons, old and young; and almost all affected either with joy in Christ Jesus, or with the utmost concern to obtain an interest in Him/
Brainerd now thought it his duty to visit again the Susquehanna Indians, it being a proper season of the
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year to find them at home. After having spent some hours in public and private discourses with his peo ple, he told them that he must now leave them for a time, and visit their far-distant brethren, in order to preach to them ; and that he earnestly desired the gracious influence of the Spirit of God, without whom nothing could be done to any good purpose among the Indians, as they themselves had had opportunity to observe, by the barrenness of their own meetings at some seasons, even when much pains were taken to affect and awaken sinners. He asked them, if they were willing to spend the re mainder of the day in prayer for him, that God would go with him, and prosper his endeavours for the conversion of those benighted souls. His Indians cheerfully complied ; and, soon after he left them (it then wanting about an hour and a half to sun-set), they began, and continued praying all night, till near break of day ; never suspecting, as they told him, till they went out and viewed the stars, that it was later than common bed-time.
* Thus eager (he says) and unwearied were they in their devotions. A remarkable night it was ; attended, as my Interpreter tells me, with a powerful influence on those who were yet under concern, as well as those that received comfort.'
He adds : —
'This day an old Indian, who has all his days been an obstinate idolater, was brought to give up his rattles (which they use for music in their idola trous feasts and dances) to the other Indians, who quickly destroyed them ; and this without any attempt of mine in the affair, I having said nothing to him about it: so that it seemed that it was nothing but
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just the power of God's word, without any par ticular application to this sin, that produced this effect.
'Thus God has begun, and thus he has hitherto surprisingly carried on, a work of grace among these Indians. May the glory be ascribed to Him, who is the sole author of it ! '
The next day Brainerd set forward on his journey ; designing first to visit his former friends at the Forjts of the Delaware, and then proceed to the Susque- hanna. In his way to the Forks of the Delaware, he went round by Philadelphia, to obtain a recommen dation from the governor of Pennsylvania to the chief of the Indians. Having succeeded in this re quest, he arrived among his former hearers, with whom he staid about ten days ; not forgetting the Irish settlement, about fifteen miles distant, which he frequently mentions in the earlier parts of his journal.
Of this visit to the Forks, he says : —
' Sunday, Sept. i, 1745. Preached to the Indians here, from Luke xiv. 16 — 23. The word appeared to be attended with some power, and caused some tears in the asssmbly.
' Afterward preached to a number of white people present, and observed many of them in tears, and some who had formerly been as careless and uncon cerned about religion, perhaps, as the Indians.
Toward night, discoursed to the Indians again, and perceived a greater attention, and more visible concern among them, than has been usual in these parts.
' Sept. 3. Preached to the Indians from Isa. liii. 3 — 6. The divine presence seemed to be in the
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midst of the assembly, and a considerable concern spread among them. Sundry persons seemed to be aroused ; among whom were two stupid creatures that I could scarce ever before keep awake while I was discoursing to them.
' Sept. 5.— Discoursed to the Indians from the Pa rable of the Sower — afterward conversed particularly with sundry persons, which occasioned them to weep, and even to cry out in an affecting manner, and seized others with surprize and concern ; and I doubt not but that a divine power accompanied what was then spoken. Sundry of these persons had been with me to Crosweeksung ; and had there seen, and some of them I trust felt, the power of God's word in an effectual and saving manner. I asked one of them, who had given hopeful evidence of being truly reli gious, why he now cried. He replied, that when he thought how Christ was slain like a lamb, and had spilt his blood for sinners, he could not help crying, even when he was all alone ; and thereupon burst out into tears and cries again. I then asked his wife, who had likewise been abundantly comforted, wherefore she cried. She answered, that she was grieved that the Indians here would not come to Christ, as well as those at Crosweeksung. I asked her if she found a heart to pray for them, and whether Christ had seemed to be near to her of late in prayer, as in time past — which is my usual method of expressing a sense of the divine presence. She replied, that he had been near to her; and that, at times, when she had been praying alone, her heart loved to pray so, that she could not bear to leave the place, but wanted to stay and pray longer.
' Sunday, Sept. 8. — Discoursed to the Indians in p
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the forenoon, from John xii. 44 — 50 ; in the afternoon, from Acts ii. 36 — 39. The word of God seemed to fall with weight and infl uence on them. There were but few present ; but most that were, were in tears, and sundry cried out under distressing concern for their souls.
' There was one man considerably awakened, who never before discovered any concern for his soul. There appeared a remarkable work of the Divine Spirit among them, almost generally, not unlike what has been of late at Crosweeksung. It seemed as if the divine influence had spread from thence to this place ; although something of it had before appeared here in the awakening of my Interpreter, his wife, and some few others.
* Sundry of the careless white people now present were awakened (or at least startled), seeing the power of God so prevalent among the Indians. I then made a particular address to them, which seemed to make some impression upon them.
' There are sundry in these parts who have always refused to hear me preach, and have been engaged against those that have attended my preaching. But of late they are more bitter than ever; scoffing at Christianity, and sometimes asking my hearers how often they had cried ! and whether they had not cried enough to serve the turn ! &c. So that they have already trial of cruel mockings.'
On the 9th of September, Brainerd left the Dela ware, and directed his course towards the Indian town Shaumoking, on the Susquehanna, upwards of 120 miles westward from the Forks, where he arrived on the fifth day of his journey. This was the largest of the Indian settlements that he had visited in May.
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Of his visit to this place he writes : —
' I was kindly received and entertained by the In dians ; but had little satisfaction, by reason of the heathenish dance and revel which they then held in the house where I was obliged to lodge; which I could not suppress, though I often entreated them to desist, for the sake of one of their own friends, who was then sick in the house, and whose disorder was much aggravated by the noise. Alas ! how destitute of natural affection are these poor uncultivated Pa gans ! although they seem somewhat kind in their own way. Of a truth, " the dark places of the earth are full of the habitations of cruelty."
This town lies partly on the east side of the river, partly on the west, and partly on a large island in it, and contains upwards of fifty houses, and, they tell me, near three hundred persons, though I never saw much more than half that number in it ; but they are of three different tribes of Indians, speaking three languages, wholly unintelligible to each other. About one half of its inhabitants are Delawares; the other are called Senakas and Tutelas. The Indians of this place are counted the most drunken, mischievous, and ruffianly fellows of any in these parts ; and Satan seems to have his seat in this town, in an eminent manner.
' Sept. 14, 1745.— Visited the Delaware King (who was supposed to be at the point of death when I was here in May last, but was now recovered), and dis coursed with him and others respecting Christianity; and spent the afternoon with them, and had more encouragement than I expected. The king appeared kindly disposed, and willing to be instructed. This gave me some encouragement that God would open p 2
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an effectual door for my preaching the gospel here, and set up His kingdom in this place ; which was a support and refreshment to me in the wilderness, and rendered my solitary circumstances pleasant.
1 Sunday, Sept. 15.— Visited the Chief of the De laware again, and was kindly received by him — dis coursed to the Indians in the afternoon — still enter tained hopes that God would open their hearts to receive the gospel ; though many of them in the place were so drunk from day to day, that I could get no opportunity to speak to them — toward night, discoursed with one that understood the languages of the Six Nations (as they are usually called), who discovered an inclination to hearken to Christianity ; which gave me some hopes that the gospel might hereafter be sent to those nations far remote.
' Sept. 16. — Spent the forenoon with the Indians, endeavouring to instruct them from house to house ; and to engage them, as far as I could, to be friendly to Christianity.
1 Toward night, went to one part of the town where they were sober, and got together nearly fifty persons, and discoursed to them, having first obtained the king's cheerful consent. There was a surprising at tention among them, and they manifested a consi derable desire of being further instructed. There were also one or two that seemed to be touched with some concern for their souls, who appeared well pleased with some conversation in private, after I had concluded my public discourse to them.
V My spirits were much refreshed with this appear ance of things ; and I could not but return with my interpreter (having no other companion in this journey) to my poor hard lodgings, rejoicing in hopes
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that God designed to set up his kingdom here, where Satan now reigns in the most eminent manner; and found uncommon freedom in addressing the throne of grace for the accomplishment of so great and glorious a work.
' Sept. 17. Spent the forenoon in visiting and dis coursing to the Indians. About noon, left Shaumo- king, (most of the Indians this day going out on their hunting design,) and travelled down the river south- westward.'
From Shaumoking, Brainerd again visited June- auta, an Indian town on an island of that name, situated in the Susquehanna. He was here much discouraged with the temper, and behaviour of the Indians, though they had received him in a friendly manner when he was with them on his former journey, and had given him encouragement to repeat his visit to them : but they now seemed resolved to retain their pagan notions, and to persist in their idolatrous practices.
We shall extract the account of his intercourse with these Indians of Juneauta.
* Sept. 20. Visited the Indians again at Juneauta Island, and found them almost universally very busy in making preparations for a great sacrifice and dance. Had no opportunity to get them together, in order to discourse with them about Christianity, by reason of their being so much engaged about their sacrifice. My spirits were much sunk with a pros pect so very discouraging ; and especially seeing I had now no interpreter but a pagan, who was as much attached to idolatry as any of them, (my own inter preter having left me the day before, being obliged to attend upon some important business elsewhere, and
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knowing that he could neither speak nor understand the language of these Indians) ; so that I was under the greatest disadvantages imaginable. However, I attempted to discourse privately with some of them, but without any appearance of success : notwith standing, I still tarried with them.
' In the evening they met together, near a hundred of them, and danced round a large fire, having pre pared ten fat deer for the sacrifice ; the fat of whose inwards they burnt in the fire while they were dan cing, and sometimes raised the flame to a prodigious height; at the same time yelling and shouting in such a manner, that they might easily have been heard two miles or more.
' They continued their sacred dance all night, or near the matter ; after which they ate the flesh of the sacrifice, and so retired each one to his lodging.
' I enjoyed little satisfaction this night, being entirely alone on the island (as to any Christian com pany), and in the midst of this idolatrous revel ; and having walked to and fro till body and mind were pained and much oppressed, I at length crept into a little crib made for corn, and there slept on the poles.
' Sunday, Sept. 21. Spent the day with the Indians on the island. As soon as they were well up in the morning I attempted to instruct them, and laboured for that purpose to get them together : but quickly found that they had something else to do: for, near noon, they gathered together all their powaws (or con jurers), and set about half a dozen of them to play ing their juggling tricks, and acting their frantic distracted postures, in order to find out why they were then so sickly upon the island, numbers of them
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being at that time disordered with a fever and bloody flux. In this exercise they were engaged for several hours, making all the wild, ridiculous, and distracted motions imaginable ; sometimes singing, sometimes howling, sometimes extending their hand to the utmost stretch, spreading all their fingers, and seeming to push with them, as if they designed to push something away, or to keep it off at arm's-end ; some times stroking their faces with their hands, then spurting water as fine as mist ; sometimes lying flat on the earth, then bowing down their faces to the ground; wringingtheir sides, as if in pain and anguish, twisting their faces, turning up their eyes, grunting, puffing, &c.
* Their monstrous actions tended to excite ideas of horror. Some of them, I could observe, were much more fervent and devout in the business than others ; and seemed to chant, peep, and mutter, with a great degree of warmth and vigour, as if determined to awaken and engage the powers below. I sat at a small distance, not more than thirty feet from them, (though undiscovered) with my bible in my hand, and there viewed the whole scene. They continued their hideous charms and incantations for more than three hours, until they had all wearied themselves out, although they had in that space of time taken sundry intervals of rest.
* After they had done powawing, I attempted to discourse with them about Christianity ; but they soon scattered, and gave me no opportunity for any thing of that nature.
1 A view of these things, while I was entirely alone in the wilderness, destitute of the society of any one that so much as *' named the name of Christ/' greatly
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sunk my spirits, gave me the most gloomy turn of mind imaginable, almost stripped me of all resolu tion and hope, respecting further attempts for pro pagating the gospel, and converting the pagans, and rendered this the most burdensome and disagreeable Sabbath that ever I saw. But nothing, I can truly say, sunk and distressed me like the loss of my hope respecting their conversion. This concern appeared so great, and seemed to be so much my own, that I seemed to have nothing to do on earth if this failed : and a prospect of the greatest success in the saving conversion of souls under gospel-light would have done little or nothing toward compensating for the loss of my hope in this respect ; and my spirits now were so damped and depressed, that I had no heart nor power to make any further attempts among them for that purpose ; and could not possibly recover my hope, resolution, and courage, by the utmost of my endeavours.
* The Indians of this island can many of them under stand the English language considerably well, having formerly lived in some part of Maryland, among or near the white people ; but they are very vicious, drunken, and profane, although not so savage as those who have less acquaintance with the English. Their customs, in divers respects, differ from those of other Indians on this river. They do not bury their dead in a common form, but let their flesh con sume above ground, in close cribs made for that pur pose ; and, at the end of a year, or perhaps some times a longer space, they take the bones, when the flesh is all consumed, and wash and scrape them, and afterwards bury them with some ceremony. Their method of charming or conjuring over the sick seems
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somewhat different from that of other Indians, though in substance the same ; and the whole of it, among these and others, perhaps, is an imitation of what seems, by Naaman's expression, 2 Kings v. 11, to have been the custom of the ancient heathens ; for it seems chiefly to consist in their striking their hands over the deceased, repeatedly stroking them, and cal ling upon their gods, to which they add the spurting of water like a mist, and some frantic ceremonies.
' When I was in these parts in May last, I had an opportunity of learning many of the notions and cus toms of the Indians, as well as of observing many of their practices ; I then travelling more than a hun dred and thirty miles upon the river above the English settlements; and having in that journey a \-iew of some persons of seven or eight distinct tribes, speaking so many different languages.
' But, of all the sights which I ever saw among them, or indeed anywhere else, none ever excited such images of terror in my mind, as the appearance of one who was a devout and zealous reformer, or rather restorer of what he supposed to be the ancient religion of the Indians. He made his appearance in his pontifical garb, which was a coat of bears' skins, dressed with the hair on, and hanging down to his toes, a pair of bear-skin stockings, and a great wooden face, 'painted the one half black, and the other tawny, about the colour of an Indian's skin, with an extravagant mouth, cut very much awry ; the face fastened to a bear-skin cap, which was drawn over his head. He advanced toward me with the in strument in his hand that he used for music in his idolatrous worship, which was a dry tortoise-shell with some corn in it, and the neck of it drawn on to
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a giece of wood, which made a very convenient handle. As he came forward, he beat his tune with the rattle, and danced with all his might; but did not suffer any part of his body, not so much as his fingers to be seen ; and no man could have guessed by his appearance and actions, that he could have been a human creature, if they had not had some in timation of it otherwise. He had a house consecrated to religious uses, with divers images cut upon the several parts of it. I went in, and found the ground beat almost as hard as a rock, with their frequent dancing in it. I discoursed with him about Chris tianity ; and some of my discourse he seemed to like, but some of it he disliked entirely. He told me that God had taught him his religion, and that he never would turn from it : but wanted to find some that would join heartily with him in it; for the Indians, he said, were grown very degenerate and corrupt. He had thoughts, he said, of leaving all his friends, and travelling abroad, in order to find some that would join with him ; for he believed God had some good people somewhere, that felt as he did. He had not always, he said, felt as he now did ; but had for merly been like the rest of the Indians, until about four or five years before that time : then, he said, his heart was very much distressed, so that he could not live among the Indians, but got away into the woods, and lived alone for some months. At length, he says, God comforted his heart, and showed him what he should do ; and since that time he had known God, and tried to serve him ; and loved all men, be they who they would, so as he never did before. He treated me with uncommon courtesy, and seemed to be hearty in it. I was told by the Indians, that he
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opposed their drinking strong liqour with all his power ; and if at any time he could not dissuade them from it, by all he could say, he would leave them, and go crying into the woods. It was manifest he had a set of religious notions, that he had acquired for himself, and not taken for granted on bare tradition ; and he relished or disrelished whatever was spoken of a religious nature, according as it either agreed or disagreed with his standard. White I was discoursing, he would sometimes say, ' Now that I like : so God has taught me,' &c. And some of his sentiments seemed very just. Yet he utterly denied the being of a devil, and declared there was no such a creature known among the Indians of old times, whose religion he supposed he was attempting to revive. He likewise told me, that departed souls all went southward ; and that the difference between the good and the bad was this : the former were admitted into a beautiful town, with spiritual walls, or walls agreeable to the nature of souls ; and that the latter would for ever hover round those walls, and in vain attempt to get in. He seemed to be sincere, honest, and conscientious in his own way, and ac cording to his own religious notions, which was more than ever I saw in any other pagan : and I perceived he was looked upon, and derided among most of the Indians, as a precise zealot, that made a needless noise about religious matters. But I must say, there was something in his temper and disposition that looked more like true religion than any thing I ever observed among other heathens.
'But, alas! how deplorable is the state of the Indians on this river ! The brief representation which I have here given of their notions and man-
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ners, is sufficient to shew that they are " led captive by Satan at his will," in the most eminent manner; and, methinks, might likewise be sufficient to excite the compassion and engage the prayers of pious souls for these their fellow-men, who sit in " the regions of the shadow of death/"
On his return to his Indians at Crosweeksung, in the beginning of October, Brainerd writes : —
4 Preached to my people from John xiv. 1 — 6. The divine presence seemed to be in the assembly.
' Oh what a difference is there between these and the Indians whom I lately treated with on the Susque- hanna ! To be with those, seemed like being banished from God and all his people ; to be with these, like being admitted into his family, and to the enjoyment of his divine presence! How great is the change lately made on numbers of these Indians ; who, not many months ago, were many of them as thoughtless and averse to Christianity, as those on the Susque- hanna ! and how astonishing is that grace that has made this change !
' Sunday, Oct. 6, 1745. — After public service was over, I withdrew, (being much tired with the labours of the day,) and the Indians continued praying among themselves for near two hours together ; which continued exercises appeared to be attended with a quickening influence from on high.
' I could not but earnestly wish that numbers of God's people had been present at this season, to see and hear these things, which I am sure must refresh the heart of every true lover of Zion's interest. To see those, who very lately were savage Pagans and idolaters, " having no hope, and without God in the world," now filled with a sense of divine love and
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grace, " and worshipping the Father in spirit and in truth/* as numbers here appeared to do, was not a little affecting ; and especially to see them appear so tender and humble, as well as lively, fervent, and devout in the divine service/
He was absent about this time upward of a fort night, on public business which called him to East Hampton, in Long Island. On his return he found his Indians in the same happy state : —
' Oct. 24.— Discoursed from John iv. 1 3—1 6. There was a great attention, a desirable affection, and an unaffected melting in the assembly. It is surprising to see how eager they are of hearing the word of God. I have oftentimes thought that they would cheerfully and diligently attend divine worship twenty-four hours together, had they an opportunity so to do.'
' Oct. 28.— Discoursed from Matt. xxii. 1—13. I was enabled to open the Scripture, and adapt my discourse and expressions to the capacities of my people, I know not how, in a plain, easy, and familiar manner, beyond all that I could have done by the utmost study— and this, without any special difficulty, with as much freedom as if I had been addressing a common audience, who had been instructed in the doctrines of Christianity all their days.
* The word of God seemed to fall on the assembly with a divine power and influence, especially toward the close of my discourse. Christians were refreshed and comforted ; convictions revived in others ; and sundry persons newly awakened who had never been with us before : and so much of the divine pre sence appeared in the assembly, that it seemed '* this was no other than the house of God, and the
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gate of heaven." All that had savour and relish of divine things were even constrained to say, " Lord, it is good for us to be here ! " If ever there was among my people an appearance of the New Jerusalem — " as a bride adorned for her hnsband," there was much of it at this time ; and so agreeable was the entertainment, where such tokens of the divine pre sence were, that I could scarce be willing in the evening to leave the place, and repair to my lodg ings. I was refreshed with a view of the continuance of this blessed work of grace among them ; and its influence upon strangers of the Indians that had of late, from time to time, providentially fallen into these parts/
* Sunday, Nov. 3. — I baptized fourteen Indians ; six adults, and eight children. One was near four score years of age, and I have reason to hope God has brought her savingly home to himself. Two were men of fifty years old, who had been singular and remarkable, even among the Indians, for their wickedness : one of them had been a murderer ; and both notorious drunkards, as well as excessively quarrelsome : but now I cannot but hope that both are become subjects of God's special grace. I de ferred their baptism for many weeks after they had given evidences of having passed a great change, that I might have more opportunities to observe the fruits of those impressions under which they had been, and apprehended the way was now clear : and there was not one of the adults whom I baptized, but what had given me some comfortable grounds to hope that God had wrought a work of grace in their hearts ; although I could not have the same degree of satisfaction respecting one or two of them, as the rest/
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4 Nov. 4. Discoursed from John xi. briefly ex plaining most of the chapter. Divine truth made deep impressions upon many in the assembly ; num bers were affected with a view of the power of Christ, manifested in his raising the dead ; and especially when this instance of his power was improved to show his power and ability to raise dead souls (such as many of them then felt themselves to be,) to a spiritual'life ; as also to raise the dead at the last day, and dispense to them due rewards and punishments.
* Several persons lately come from remote places, were now brought under deep and pressing concern for their souls; particularly one, who, not long since, came half drunk, and railed on us, and attempted by all means to disturb us while engaged in worship, was now so concerned and distressed for her soul, that she seemed unable to get any ease without an interest in Christ. There were many tears and affec tionate sobs and groans in the assembly in general, some wreeping for themselves, others for their friends. And although persons are doubtless much easier affected now, than they were in the beginning of this religious concern, when tears and cries for their souls were things unheard-of among them ; yet I must say their affection in general appeared genuine and un feigned ; and especially this appeared very con spicuous in those newly awakened. So that true and genuine convictions of sin seem still to be begun and promoted in many instances/
A few days after this, Brainerd left the Indians, and set out on a journey, in order chiefly to obtain assistance in his wrork. He did not return to Cros- weeksung till the 22d ; and enjoyed, in the interval,
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many opportunities of refreshing intercourse with his friends.
About this time he addressed to the Society the first part of his narrative of the great work in which he had been engaged. It is dated Nov. 20, 1745.
' I have now baptized, in all, forty-seven Indians ; twenty-three adults, and twenty-four children : thirty-five of them belonging to these parts, and the rest to the Forks of the Delaware ; and, through grace, none of them have, as yet, been left to dis grace the profession of Christianity by any scan dalous or unbecoming behaviour.
' I have rode more than three thousand miles since the beginning of March ; on the design, either immediately or more remotely, of propagating Chris tian knowledge among the Indians. I have taken pains to look out for a colleague, or companion, to travel with me ; and have likewise used endeavours to procure something for his support, among reli gious persons in New England, which cost me a journey of several hundred miles in length : but have not, as yet, found any person qualified and disposed for this good work ; although I had some encourage ment from ministers, and others, that it was hopeful a maintenance might be procured for one, when the man should be found.
* I have likewise, of late, represented to the gentle men concerned in this mission, the necessity of having an English school speedily set up among these Indians, who are now willing to be at the pains of gathering together in a body, for this pur pose : and, in order hereto, have humbly proposed to them the collecting of money for the maintenance of a schoolmaster, and defraying the other necessary
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charges in the promotion of this good work ; which they are now attempting in the several congrega tions of Christians, to which they respectively belong.
* The several companies of Indians to whom I have preached in the summer past, live at great distances from one another. It is more than 70 miles from Crosweeksung in New Jersey, to the Forks of the Delaware in Pennsylvania; and from thence, to sundry of the Indian settlements which I visited on the Susquehanna, is more than 120 miles.
1 So much of my time is necessarily consumed in journeying, that I can have but little for any of my necessary studies ; and, consequently, for the study of the Indian languages in particular: and especially seeing that I am obliged to discourse so frequently to the Indians at each of these places while I am with them, in order to redeem time to visit the rest. I am, at times, almost discouraged from attempting to gain any acquaintance with the Indian languages, they are so very numerous ; and especially seeing that my other labours and fatigues engross almost the whole of my time, and bear exceedingly hard on my constitution, so that my health is much impaired. However, I have taken considerable pains to learn the Delaware language ; and propose still to do so, as far as my other business and my health will admit. I have already made some proficiency in it, though I have laboured under many and great dis advantages in my attempts of that nature. And it is but just to observe here, that all the pains which I took to acquaint myself with the language of the Indians with whom I spent my first year, were of little or no service to me here among the Delawares ; Q
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so that my work, when I came among these Indians, was all to be begun anew.
' As these poor ignorant pagans stood in need of having " line upon line, and precept upon precept," in order to their being instructed and grounded in the principles of Christianity, so I preached " pub licly, and taught from house to house," almost every day, for whole weeks together, when I was with them : and my public discourses did not then make up the one half of my work, while there were so many constantly coming to me with that important inquiry, " What must we do to be saved?" and opening to me the various exercises of their minds. And yet I can say, to the praise of divine grace, that the ap parent success with which my labours were crowned unspeakably more than compensated for the labour itself; and was likewise a gre'at means of supporting and carrying me through the business and fatigues, which, it seems, my nature would have sunk under, without such an encouraging prospect. But al though this success has afforded matter of support, comfort, and thankfulness , yet, in this season, I have found great need of assistance in my work, and have been much oppressed for want of one to bear a part of my labours and hardships.
' May the Lord of the harvest send forth other labourers into this part of his harvest; that those who sit in darkness may see great light ; and that the whole earth maybe filled with the knowledge of^him- self. Amen/
The following reflections may be read by other missionaries with great advantage.
' I might make many remarks on a work of grace so very observable as this has been in divers re-
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spects ; but shall confine myself to a few general hints only.
* 1 . It is remarkable that God began this work among the Indians at a time when I had the least hope, and (to my apprehension) the least rational prospect of seeing a work of grace propagated among them ; my bodily strength being then much wasted by a late tedious journey to Susquehanna, where I was neces sarily exposed to hardships and fatigues among the Indians : my mind also being exceedingly depressed with a view of the unsuccessfulness of my labours, (since I had little reason so much as to hope that God had made me instrumental of the saving conver sion of any of the Indians, except my interpreter and his wife), whence I was ready to look upon myself as a burden to the honourable Society that employed and supported me in this business, and began to entertain serious thoughts of giving up my mission ; and almost resolved that I would do so at the conclusion of the present year ; if I had not then better prospect of special success in my work than I had hitherto had. I cannot say I enter tained these thoughts because I was weary of the labours and fatigues that necessarily attended my present business, or because I had light or freedom in my own mind to turn any other way ; but purely through dejection of spirit, pressing discouragement, and an apprehension of its being unjust to spend money consecrated to religious uses, only to civilize the Indians, and bring them to an external profes sion of Christianity, which was all that I could then see any prospect of being able to effect, while God seemed (as I thought) evidently to frown upon the design of their saving conversion, by withholding Q 2
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the convincing and renewing influences of his blessed Spirit from attending the means which he had hith erto used with them for that end.
' And in this frame of mind I first visited these In dians at Crosweeksung ; apprehending that it was my indispensable duty, seeing I had heard there was a number in these parts, to make some attempts for their conversion to God ; though I cannot say I had any hope of success, my spirits were now so ex tremely sunk. And I do not know that my hopes respecting the conversion of the Indians were ever reduced to so low an ebb, since I had any concern for them, as now.
' And yet this was the very season that God saw fittest to begin this glorious work in ! And thus he ordained strength out of weakness ; by making bare his almighty arm at a time when all hopes and hu man probabilities most evidently appeared to fail. Whence I learn, that it is good to follow the path of duty, though in the midst of darkness and dis couragement.
' 2. It is remarkable how God providentially, and in a manner almost unaccountable, called these Indians together, to be instructed in the great things that concerned their souls : and how he impressed their minds with the most solemn and weighty concern for their eternal salvation, as fast as they came to the place where his word was preached. When I first came into these parts, in June, I found not one man at the place which I visited, but only four women and a few children: but before I had been here many days, they gathered from all quarters, some from more than twenty miles distant ; and when I made them a second visit in the beginning of August,
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some came more than forty miles to hear me. And many came without any intelligence of what was going on here ; and consequently without any de sign ef theirs, so much as to gratify their curiosity: so that it seemed as if God had summoned them together from all quarters for nothing else but to deliver his message to them ; and that he did this, with regard to some of them, without making use of any human means ; although there were pains taken by some of them to give notice to others at remote places.
* Nor is it less surprising that they were, one after another, affected with a solemn concern for their souls, almost as soon as they came to the spot where divine truths were taught them. I could not but think often, that their coming to the place of our public worship was like Saul and his messengers coming among the prophets : they no sooner came, but they prophesied ; and some were almost as soon affected with a sense of their sin and misery, and with an earnest concern for deliverance, as they made their appearance in our assembly.
' After this work of grace began with power among them, it was common for strangers of the Indians, before they had been with us one day, to be much awakened, deeply convinced of their sin and misery, and to inquire, with great solicitude, what they should do to be saved.
' 3. It is likewise remarkable how God preserved these poor ignorant Indians from being prejudiced against me and the truths which I taught them, by those means that were used with them for that purpose by ungodly people. There were many at tempts made, by some ill-minded persons of the
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white people, to prejudice them against, or fright them from, Christianity. They sometimes told them, that the Indians were well enough already — that there was no need of all this noise about Chris tianity — that if they were Christians, they would be in no better, no safer, or happier state, than they were already in. Sometimes they told them, that I was a knave, a deceiver, and the like ; that I daily taught them a parcel of lies, and had no other design but to impose upon them. And when none of these, and such like suggestions, would avail to their purpose, they then tried another expedient ; and told the Indians, that my design was to gather together as large a body of them as I possibly could, and then sell them to England for slaves— than which nothing could be more likely to terrify the Indians, they being naturally of a jealous disposi tion, and the most averse from a state of servitude, perhaps, of any people living.
' But all these wicked insinuations, through divine goodness overruling, constantly turned against the authors of them, and only served to engage the affections of the Indians more firmly to me ; for, being awakened to a solemn concern for their souls, they could not but observe that the persons who endeavoured to embitter their minds against me, were altogether unconcerned about their own souls ; and not only so, but vicious and profane; and thence could not but argue, that if they had no concern for their own, it was not likely that they should have any for the souls of others.
' It seems yet the more wonderful, that the Indians were preserved from once hearkening to these sug gestions; inasmuch as I was an utter stranger among
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them, and could give them no assurance of my sin cere affection to them by any thing that was past: while the persons that insinuated these things were their old acquaintance, who had had frequent oppor tunities of gratifying their thirsty appetites with strong drink ; and consequently, doubtless, had the greatest interest in their affections.
' But from this instance of their preservation from fatal prejudices, I have had occasion, with admira tion, to say, ' If God will work, who can hinder or resist!'
' 4. Nor is it less wonderful how God was pleased to provide a remedy for my want of skill and free dom in the Indian language, by remarkably fitting my interpreter for, and assisting him in the perform ance of his work. It might reasonably be supposed that I must needs labour under a vast disadvantage, in addressing the Indians by an interpreter ; and that divine truths would unavoidably lose much of the energy and pathos with which they might at first be delivered, by reason of their coming to the audience from a second hand. But although this has often, to my sorrow and discouragement, been the case in times past, when my interpreter had little or no sense of divine things ; yet now it was quite otherwise. I cannot see that my addresses to the Indians ordinarily, since the beginning of this season of grace, have lost any thing of the power or pungency with which they were made : unless it were sometimes for want of pertinent and pathetic terms and expressions in the Indian language ; which difficulty could not have been much redressed by my personal acquaintance with their language.
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' My interpreter had before gained some good degree of doctrinal knowledge, whereby he was ren dered capable of understanding and communicating, without mistakes, the intent and meaning of my discourses, and that without being confined strictly, and obliged to interpret verbatim. He had likewise, to appearance, an experimental acquaintance with divine things ; and it pleased God, at this season, to inspire his mind with longing desires for the con version of the Indians, and to give him admirable zeal and fervency, in addressing them in order thereto.
' And it is remarkable, that when I was favoured with any special assistance in any work, and enabled to speak with more than common freedom, fervency, and power, under a lively and affecting sense of divine things, he was usually affected in the same manner almost instantly, and seemed at once quick ened and enabled to speak in the same pathetic language, and under the same influence that I did. And a surprising energy often accompanied the word at such seasons ; so that the face of the whole assembly would be apparently changed almost in an instant, and tears and sobs became common among them.
He also appeared to have such a clear doctrinal view of God's usual methods of dealing with souls, under a preparatory work of conviction and humi liation, as he never had before ; so that I could, with his help, discourse freely with the distressed persons about their internal exercises, their fears, discou ragements, temptations, &c.
* He likewise took pains, day and night, to repeat and inculcate upon the minds of the Indians the
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truths which I taught them daily: and this he appeared to do, not from spiritual pride, and an affectation of setting himself up as a public teacher, but from a spirit of faithfulness, and an honest concern for their souls.
' His conversation among the Indians has likewise, so far as I know, been savoury, as becomes a Chris tian, and a person employed in his work ; and, I may justly say, he has been a great comfort to me, and a great instrument of promoting this good work among the Indians: so that whatever be the state of his own soul, it is apparent God has remarkably fitted him for this work.
' And thus God has manifested, that, without be stowing on me the gift of tongues, he could find a way wherein I might be as effectually enabled to convey the truths of his glorious gospel to the minds of these poor benighted Pagans.
* 5. It is further remarkable, that God has carried on his work here by such means, and in such a manner, as tended to obviate and leave no room for those prejudices and objections that have often been raised against such a work.
* When persons have been awakened to a solemn concern for their souls, by hearing the more awful truths of God's word and the terrors of the divine law insisted upon, it has usually, in such cases, been objected by some, that such persons were only frightened, and that there was no evidence that their concern was the effect of a divine influence : but God has left no room for this objection in the present case, this work of grace having been begun and carried on by almost one continued strain of gospel- invitation to perishing sinners ; as may reasonably
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be guessed, from a view of the passages of scripture which I chiefly insisted on in my discourses from time to time; which I have, for that purpose, in serted in my Journal. Nor have I ever seen so general an awakening in any assembly in my life, as appeared here, while I was opening and insisting upon the parable of the Great Supper; in which discourse I was enabled to set before my hearers the unsearchable riches of gospel grace. Not that I would have it understood here, that I never in structed the Indians respecting their fallen state, and the sinfulness and misery of it ; for this was what I at first chiefly insisted on with them, and endeavoured to repeat and inculcate in almost every discourse ; knowing, that without this foundation I should but build upon the sand, and that it would be in vain to invite them to Christ unless I could convince them of their need of him (Mark ii. 17): but still this great awakening, this surprising con cern, was never excited by any harangues of terror, but always appeared most remarkable when I in sisted on the compassions of a dying Saviour, the plentiful provisions of the gospel, and the free offers of divine grace to needy distressed sinners. Nor would I be understood to insinuate, that such a religious concern might justly be suspected, as not being genuine and from a divine influence, because produced by the preaching of terror ; for this is, perhaps, God's more usual way of awakening sinners, and appears entirety agreeable to scripture and sound reason : but what I meant to observe here is, that God saw fit to improve and bless milder means for the effectual awakening of these Indians; and thereby obviated the fore-mentioned objection, which
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the world might otherwise have had a more plausible colour of making.
* And, as there has been no room for any plausible objection against this work, in "regard of the means ; so neither in regard of the manner in which it has been carried on.
•' It is true, these peoples' concern for their souls has been exceedingly great, the convictions of their sin and misery have risen to a high degree, and pro duced many tears, cries, and groans : but then they have not been attended with those disorders, either bodily or mental, that have sometimes prevailed among persons under religious impressions. There has here been no appearance of those " convulsions, bodily agonies, frightful screamings, swoonings," and the like, that have been so much complained of in some places : although there have been some, who, with the jailor, have been made to tremble under a sense of their sin and misery ; numbers who have been made to cry out from a distressing view of their perishing state; and some that have been, for a time, in a great measure, deprived of their bodily strength, yet without any such convul sive appearances.
' Nor has there been any appearance of mental disorders here, such as " visions, trances, imagina tions of being under prophetic inspiration/' and the like; or scarce any unbecoming disposition to appear remarkably affected either with concern or joy ; though I must confess, I observed one or two per sons whose concern, I thought, was in a considerable measure affected ; and one whose joy appeared to be of the same kind. But these workings of spiritual pride, I endeavoured to crush in their first appear-
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ances; and have not since observed any affection, either of joy or sorrow, but what appeared genuine and unaffected. But —
' 6. The effects of "this work have likewise been very remarkable.
' I doubt not but that many of these people have gained more doctrinal knowledge of divine truths since I first visited them in June last, than could have been instilled into their minds by the most diligent use of proper and instructive means for whole years together, without such a divine in fluence.
i Their pagan notions and idolatrous practices seem to be entirely abandoned in these parts. They are regulated, and appear regularly disposed in the affairs of marriage ; an instance whereof I have given in my Journal of August 14. They seem generally divorced from drunkenness, their darling vice, and the sin that easily besets them ; so that I do not know of more than two or three who have been my steady hearers, that have drunk to excess since I first visited them ; although before it was common for some or other of them to be drunk almost every day; and some of them seem now to fear this sin in particular, more than death itself. A principle of honour and justice appears in many of them ; and they seem concerned to discharge their old debts, which they have neglected, and per haps scarce thought of, for years past. Their manner of living is much more decent and comfort able than formerly, having now the benefit of that money which they used to consume upon strong drink. Love seems to reign among them, especially those who have given evidences of having passed a
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saving change ; and I never saw any appearance of bitterness or censoriousness in these, nor any dis position to esteem themselves better than others who had not received the like mercy.
* As their sorrows under convictions have been great and pressing, so many of them have since appeared to rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory ; and yet I never saw any thing ecstatic or flighty in their joy. Their consolations do not in cline them to lightness; but, on the contrary, are attended with solemnity, and oftentimes with tears, and an apparent brokenness of heart, as may be seen in several passages of my journal : and, in this respect, some of them have been surprised at them selves, and have with concern observed to me, that " when their hearts have been glad," which is a phrase they commonly make use of to express spiri tual joy, " they could not help crying for all."
' And now, on the whole, I think I may justly say, here are all the evidences of a remarkable work of grace among these Indians, that can reasonably be desired or looked for. May the Great Author of this work maintain and promote the same here, and propagate it everywhere, till the whole earth be filled with his glory ! Amen/
We shall now proceed to detail the chief circum stances which occurred in the remaining part of this third year of his labours.
In the beginning of December 1746, he entered on a house which he had built for himself at Cross- weeksung. This is the third which he had erected among the Indians : the first at Kaunaumeek, in the county of Albany ; the second at the Forks of the
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Delaware, in Pennsylvania ; and now the third at Crossweeksung, in New Jersey.
Of his preaching, about this period, he speaks as follows : —
' Crosweelisung, 1745.
* Lord's-day, November 24. Preached both parts of the day from the story of Zaccheus, Luke xix. 1 — 9. In the latter exercise, when I opened and insisted upon the salvation that cornes to the sinner, upon his becoming a son of Abraham, or a true be liever, the word seemed to be attended with divine power to the hearts of the hearers. Numbers were much affected, former convictions were revived, one or two persons newly awakened, and a most affec tionate engagement in divine service appeared among them universally.
These impressions appeared to be the genuine effect of God's word brought home to their hearts, by the power and influence of the divine Spirit.
' Nov. 26. After spending some time in private conferences with my people, I discoursed publicly among them from John v. 1 — 9. I was favoured with some special freedom and fervency in my dis course, and a powerful energy accompanied the word. Many wept, and scarcely any appeared unconcerned in the whole assembly, The influence that seized the audience appeared gentle, and yet pungent and efficacious. It produced no boisterous commotion of the passions, but seemed deeply to affect the heart; and excited in the persons under convictions of their lost state, heavy groans and tears: and. in others who had obtained comfort, a sweet and hum ble melting. It seemed like the gentle but steady
THIRD YEAR OF HIS MISSION. 239
showers, that effectually water the earth, without violently beating upon the surface.
' The persons lately awakened were deeply dis tressed for their souls, and appeared earnestly solici tous to obtain an interest in Christ: and some of them, after public worship was over, in anguish of spirit said, ' They knew not what to do, nor how to get their wicked hearts changed,' &c.
' Nov. 28. Discoursed to the Indians publicly, after having privately endeavoured to instruct some of them in the duties of Christianity. Opened and made remarks upon the sacred story of our Lord's transfiguration, Luke ix. 28 — 32. principally with a view to the edification and consolation of God's people. I observed some who I have reason to think are truly such, exceedingly affected with an account of the glory of Christ in his transfiguration ; and filled with longing desires of being with him, that they might with open face behold his glory.
* After public service was over, I asked one of them who wept much, what she now wanted? She replied, * Oh! to be with Christ! she did not know how to stay/ &c. This was a blessed refreshing season to the religious people in general. The Lord Jesus Christ seemed to manifest his divine glory to them, as when transfigured before his disciples ; and they, with the disciples, were ready universally to say, " Lord, it is good for us to be here."
' The influence of God's word was not confined to those who had given evidences of being truly gra cious, though at this time my discourse was directed chiefly to such ; but it appeared to be a season of divine power in the whole assembly, so that most were in some measure affected. One aged man in
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particular, lately awakened, was now brought under deep and pressing concern for his soul, and was ear nestly inquisitive ' how he might find Jesus Christ.' God seems still to vouchsafe his divine presence and the influence of his blessed Spirit to accompany his word, at least in some measure, in all our meetings for divine worship.'
' Nov. 30, 1745. — Preached near night, after having spent a few hours in private conference with some of my people. Explained the story of the Rich Man and Lazarus, Luke xvi. 19 — 26. The word made powerful impressions on many in the assembly ; especially while I discoursed of the blessedness of " Lazarus in Abraham's bosom." This, I could per ceive, affected them much more than what I spoke of the Rich Man's misery and torments. And thus it has been usually with them. They have almost always appeared much more affected with the com fortable, than with the dreadful truths of God's Word ; and that which has distressed many of them under convictions, is, that they found they wanted, and could not obtain, the happiness of the godly : at least they have often appeared to be more affected with this, than with the terrors of hell. But, what ever be the means of their awakening, it is plain that numbers are made deeply sensible of their sin and misery, the wickedness and stubbornness of their hearts, their utter inability to help themselves, or to come to Christ for help, without divine assistance ; and so are brought to see their perishing need of Christ to do all for them, and to lie at the foot of sovereign mercy.'
These observations deserve the serious attention of every minister and missionary of Christ. It should
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be remembered, that all the alarming truths of scrip ture are to be insisted on, in order to drive men from sin, and self, and the world, and to endear Christ to them ; and it is the full display of his " unsearchable riches/' whereby the soul is, through the grace of the Holy Spirit, brought to a vital union with him, and to an increasing conformity to him.
He was still favoured, at times, with a remarkable blessing on his ministry : —
' Sunday, Dec. 15. Preached to the Indians from Luke xiii. 24—28. Divine truths fell with weight and power on the audience, and seemed to reach the hearts of many. In the evening, discoursed to them from Matt. xxv. 31 — 46; at which season, also, the word appeared to be accompanied with a divine in fluence ; and made powerful impressions on the assembly in general, as well as on divers persons in a very special and particular manner.
' This was an amazing season of grace ! The word of the Lord, this day, " was quick and powerful, sharper than a two-edged sword/' and pierced to the hearts of many. The assembly was greatly affected, and deeply wrought upon ; yet without so much apparent commotion in the passions as was usual in the beginning of this work of grace. The impres sions made by the word of God on the audience appeared solid, rational and deep ; worthy of the solemn truths by means of which they were pro duced ; and far from being the effects of any sudden fright, or groundless perturbation of the mind.
' Oh ! how the hearts of the hearers seemed to bow
under the weight of divine truths ; And how evident
did it now appear that they received and felt them,
" not as the word of man, but as the word of God ! "
P
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None can frame a just idea of the appearance of our assembly, at this time, but those who have seen a congregation, solemnly awed, and deeply impressed by the special power and influence of divine truths delivered to them in the name of God/
' Dec. 16. Discoursed to my people in the evening from Luke xi. 1 — 13. After having insisted some time upon the 9th verse, wherein there is a command and encouragement to ask for divine favours, I called upon them to ask for a new heart with the utmost importunity, as the man mentioned in the parable pleaded for bread at midnight. There was much affection and concern in the assembly ; one woman especially appeared in great distress. She was brought to such an agony in seeking after Christ, that the sweat ran off her face for a considerable time together, although the evening was very cold ; and her bitter cries were the most affecting indication of the inward anguish of her heart/
A great effect attended a discourse which he preached on Christmas day, from the parable of the barren fig-tree, Luke xiii. 6—9. The Indians having been used, at this season, to drink and revel with some of the white people in these parts, Brainerd called them together, in order to engage them in a manner more suitable to the day.
' A divine influence, (he says), I am persuaded, accompanied the word. The power of God appeared in the assembly; not by producing any remarkable cries, but by shocking and rousing at heart, as it seemed, several stupid creatures, that were scarcely ever moved with any concern before. The power attending divine truths seemed to have the influence of the earthquake, rather than of the whirlwind
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upon them. Their passions were not so much alarmed as has been common here in times past ; but their judgments appeared to be powerfully con vinced, by the masterly and conquering influence of divine truths. The impressions made upon the as sembly in general seemed not superficial, but deep and heart-affecting. Oh how ready did they now appear universally to embrace and comply with every thing they heard and were convinced was duty ! God was in the midst of us of a truth, bowing and melt ing stubborn hearts ! How many tears and sobs were then to be seen and heard among us ! What liveliness and strict attention ! what eagerness and intenseness of mind appeared in the whole assembly, in the time of divine service ! They seemed to watch and wait for the dropping of God's word, as the thirsty earth " for the former and the latter rain."
His anxiety to ground his Indians well in the knowledge of divine truth was thus abundantly re paid. In this course he still continued, unwearied : —
' My people having now attained to a considerable degree of knowledge in the principles of Christianity, I thought it proper to set up a Catechetical Lecture among them ; and this evening attempted something in that form; proposing questions to them agreeable to the Assembly's Shorter Catechism, receiving their answers, and then explaining and insisting as ap peared necessary and proper on each question : after which I endeavoured to make some practical im provement of the whole.
'They were able readily and rationally to answer many important questions which I proposed to them : so that, on trial, I found their doctrinal knowledge to exceed my own expectations. R 2
244 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD*.
* In the improvement of my discourse, when I came to infer and open the blessedness of those who had so great and glorious a God, as had before been spoken of, for their everlasting friend and portion, sundry were much affected ; a,nd especially when I exhorted, and endeavoured to persuade them to " be reconciled to God," through his dear Son, and thus to secure an interest in his everlasting favour; so that they appeared to be not only enlightened and in structed but affected and engaged by this method of discoursing.'
This system of public catechetical instruction he diligently prosecuted, and found it attended with the happiest effects. When he first entered on it, he had many fears lest it should lead to such a doc trinal view of all subjects, as would tend only to enlighten the head, but not to affect the heart : but the event was quite contrary, as these exercises were equally blessed to the opening of the understanding and the impressing of the heart.
But this catechetical instruction was accompanied by assiduous visits from house to house. The In dians had now gathered together from all quarters to Crossweeksung ; and had built little cottages, which were inhabited by more than twenty families, who lived within a quarter of a mile of him. He availed himself of this to spend much time in their dwell ings ; and, at times, scarcely ever departed from a house without leaving some or other of its inhabi tants in tears.
He remarks of one class of his people : —
* There were sundry of the Indians newly come here, who were more civilized and conformed to English manners than the generality of their country-
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men, and had imbibed some errors, especially this fundamental one, viz. — That if men will but live so berly and honestly, according to the dictates of their own consciences, there is then no danger or doubt of their salvation. These persons I found much worse to deal with, than those who are wholly under Pagan darkness, who make no pretences to knowledge in Christianity at all, nor have any self-righteous foun dation to stand on/
An affecting account is given of a woman, who had been in much distress of mind, but was brought, un der the preaching of the word, to a heavenly frame ; composed in her spirit, and entirely given up to the divine will.
' When I came to discourse particularly with her (Brainerd writes), and to inquire of her how she got relief from the spiritual distresses under which she had lately been, she answered, in broken English — " Me try, me try, save myself: last, my strength be all gone," meaning her ability to save herself: " could not me stir bit further. Den last, me forced let Je sus Christ alone, send me Hell if he please/' [I tried and tried to save myself: till, at last, my strength was all gone, and I could not stir any further. Then, at last, I was forced to let Jesus Christ alone, to send me to hell if he pleased.] I said, " But you were not willing to go to hell, were you? " She re plied, " Could not me help it. My heart he would wicked for all. Could not me make him good/' — [I could not help it. My heart would be wicked for all that I could do. I could not make it good. — ] meaning that she saw it was right she should go to hell, because her heart was wicked ; and would be so, after all that she could do to mend it. I asked
246 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINF.RD!
her how she got out of this case. She answered, still in the same broken language—" By by my heart be grad desperately." [By and by my heart was ex ceedingly glad.] I asked her why her heart was glad. She replied, " Grad my heart Jesus Christ do what he please with me. Den me tink, grad my heart Jesus Christ send me hell. Did not me care where He put me: me lobe Him for all" — [My heart was glad that Jesus Christ would do with me what He pleased. Then I thought my heart would be glad although Christ should send me to hell. I did not care where He put me ; I should love him for all — ] that is, do what He would with her. And she could not readily be convinced, but that she was willing to go to hell, if Christ were pleased to send her thither : though the truth evidently was, that her will was so swallowed up in the Divine Will, that she could not frame any hell in her imagination that would be dreadful or undesirable, provided it was but the will of God to send her to it.
* Dec. 26. This evening I was visited by a person under great spiritual exercise, the most remarkable instance of this kind I ever saw. It was a woman of more than fourscore, who appeared to have be come so childish through age, that it seemed impos sible to instil into her mind any notions of divine things, or so much as to give her any doctrinal in struction, for she seemed incapable of being taught. She was led by the hand into my house, and appeared in extreme anguish. I asked her what ailed her? She answered, " That her heart was distressed, and she feared she should never find Christ." I asked her several questions relating to her distress. To all which she answered, for substance, to this effect,
THIRD YEAR OF HIS MISSION. 247
namely, That she had heard me preach many times, but never knew any thing about it, never " felt it in her heart" till the last Sabbath; then it came she said, " all one as if a needle had been thrust into her heart;" since which time she had no rest day nor night. She added that, on the evening before Christ inas, a number of Indians being together at the house where she was, and discoursing about Christ, their talk pierced her heart, so that she could not sit up, but fell down on her bed ; at which time " she went away," as she expressed it, and felt as if she dreamed, and yet is confident she did not dream. When she was thus gone, she saw two paths, one appeared very broad and crooked ; and that, she says, turned to the left hand. The other appeared strait and very narrow ; and that went up the hill to the right hand. She travelled, she said, for some time up the narrow right-hand path, till at length something seemed to obstruct her journey. She sometimes called it dark ness, and then described it otherwise, and seemed to compare it to a block or bar. She then remembered what she had heard me say about " striving to enter in at the strait gate," (although she took little notice of it at the time when she heard me discourse upon that subject,) and thought she would climb over this bar. But just as she was thinking of this, she came back again, as she termed it, meaning that she came to herself: whereupon her soul was extremely dis tressed, apprehending she had now turned back and forsaken Christ, and that there was therefore no hope of mercy for her.
' As I was sensible that trances and imaginary views of things are of dangerous tendency in religion, when sought after and depended upon ; so I could not but
248 LIFE OF DAVID BRA1NERD.'
be much concerned about this exercise, especially at first; apprehending this might be a design of Satan to bring a blemish upon the work of God here, by introducing visionary scenes, imaginary terrors, and all manner of mental disorders and delusions, in the room of genuine convictions of sin and the enlighten ing influences of the blessed Spirit. I was almost resolved to declare that I looked upon this to be one of Satan's devices, and to caution my people against it, and the like exercises, as such. However, I de termined first to inquire into her knowledge, to see whether she had any just views of things, which might be the occasion of her present distress, or whether it was a mere fright, arising only from imaginary terrors. I asked her several questions respecting man's primi tive and present state, and respecting her own heart ; which she answered rationally, and to my surprise. I thought it next to impossible, if not altogether so, that a Pagan, who was become a child through age, should in that state gain so much knowledge by any mere human instruction, without being remarkably enlightened by a divine influence.
* I then proposed to her the provision made in the gospel for the salvation of sinners, and the ability and willingness of Christ to save to the uttermost all (old as well as young) that come to him. To this she seemed to give a hearty assent. But instantly re plied, " Aye, but I cannot come ; my wicked heart will not come to Christ ; I do not know how to come," &c. She spoke this in anguish of spirit, striking on her breast, with tears in her eyes, and with such ear nestness in her looks, as was indeed piteous and af fecting. She seems to be really convinced of her sin and misery, and her need of a change of heart ;
THIRD YEAR OF HIS MISSION. 249
and her concern is abiding and constant. Nothing appears but that this exercise may have a saving issue : she is so solicitous to obtain an interest in Christ, that her heart, as she expresses it, prays day and night.
1 How far God may make use of the imagination in awakening some persons under these and such like circumstances, I cannot pretend to determine ; and whether this exercise I have mentioned be from a divine influence, I shall leave others to judge. But this I must say, that its effects hitherto bespeak it to be such ; nor can it, as far as I can see, be accounted for in a rational way, but from the influence of some spirit, either good or evil. The woman, I am sure, never heard divine things treated of in the manner she now viewed them ; and it would seem strange she should get such a rational notion of them from the mere working of her own fancy, without some superior or foreign aid. Yet I must say, I have looked upon it as one of the glories of this work of grace among the Indians, and a special evidence of its being from a divine influence, that there has till now been no ap pearance of such things, no visionary notions, trances and imaginations, intermixed with those rational convictions of sin and solid consolations, which numbers have experienced. And might I have had my desire, there had been no appearance of any thing of this nature at all.
' Dec. 28. Discoursed to my people in the cate chetical method I lately entered upon. During the improvement of my discourse, wherein I was com paring man's present with his primitive state, showing what he had fallen from, the miseries to which he is now exposed, and pressing sinners to take a view of
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their deplorable circumstances without Christ, also to strive that they might obtain an interest in him ; the Lord, I trust, granted a remarkable influence of his blessed Spirit to accompany what was spoken, and a great concern appeared in the assembly. Many were melted into tears, and the impressions made upon them seemed deep and heart-affecting. In par ticular, there were two or three persons who appeared to be brought to the last exercises of a preparatory work, and reduced almost to extremity ; being in great measure convinced of the impossibility of help ing themselves, or of mending their own hearts ; and seemed to be upon the point of giving up all hope in themselves, and of venturing upon Christ as helpless and undone. Yet they were in distress and anguish because they saw no safety in so doing, unless they could do something towards saving themselves. One of these persons was the very aged woman above mentioned, who now appeared " weary and heavy laden " with a sense of her sin and misery, and her perishing need of an interest in Christ.
' LordVday, Dec. 29. Preached from John iii. 1 — 5. A number of white people were present, as is usual upon the Sabbath. The discourse was accompanied with power, and seemed to have a silent but deep and piercing influence upon the audience. Many wept affectionately, and there were some tears among the white people as well as the Indians. Some could not refrain from crying out, though there were not many so exercised. The impressions made upon their hearts appeared chiefly by the extraordinary earnestness of their attention, and their heavy sighs and tears.
' After public worship was over, I went to my house,
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proposing to preach again after a short season of in termission. But they soon came in one after another, with tears in their eyes, to know " what they should do to be saved." And the divine Spirit in such a manner fastened upon their hearts what I spoke to them, that the house was soon filled with cries and groans. They all flocked together upon this occa sion, and those whom I had reason to think in an un converted state, were almost universally seized with concern about their souls. It was a season of great power among them; it seemed as if God had " bowed the heavens and come down." So astonishingly pre valent was the operation upon old as well as young, that it seemed as if none would be left in a state of carnal security, but that God was now about to con vert the whole ! I was ready to think then, that I should never again despair of the conversion of any man or woman living, be they who or what they would. ' It is impossible to give a just and lively description of the appearance of things at this season, at least such as to convey a bright and adequate idea of the effects of this influence. A number might now be seen rejoicing, that God had not taken away the powerful influence of his blessed Spirit from this place. It was refreshing to see so many " striving to enter in at the strait gate;" and others animated with such concern for them, that they wanted " to push them forward," as some of them expressed it. At the same time, numbers t jth of men and women, old and young, might be seen in tears, and some in anguish of spirit, appearing in their very countenances like condemned malefactors dragged towards the place of execution, with a heavy solicitude sitting in their faces: so that there seemed here, as I thought, a
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lively emblem of the solemn day of account ; a mix ture of heaven and hell, of joy unspeakable, and an guish inexpressible.
* The concern and religious affection was such, that I could not pretend to have any formal religious ex ercise among them ; but spent the time in discoursing to one and another, as I thought most proper and seasonable, and sometimes addressed them all to gether, and finally concluded with prayer. Such were their circumstances at this season, that I could scarcely have half an hour's rest from speaking, from about half an hour before twelve o'clock, at which time I began public worship, till past seven at night. There appeared to be four or five persons newly awa kened this day and the evening before, some of whom but very lately came among us.
' Dec. 30. Was visited by four or five young per sons who were lately awakened. They wept much while I discoursed to them, and endeavoured to press upon them the necessity of flying to Christ for salva tion without delay.
'Dec. 31. Spent some hours this day in visiting my people from house to house, and conversing with them about their spiritual concerns ; endeavouring to press upon all their souls the necessity of a reno vation of heart. I scarcely quitted a house without leaving some or other of its inhabitants in tears, appearing solicitously engaged to obtain an interest in Christ. The Indians are now gathered together from all quarters to this place, and have formed a village, so that more than twenty families live within a quarter of a mile of me : a very convenient circumstance, in regard both of public and private instruction.
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' Wednesday, January 1, 1745-6. I am this day be ginning a new year; and God has carried me through numerous trials and labours in that which is past. He has amazingly supported my feeble frame, and, " having obtained help of God, I continue to this day/' Oh that I might live nearer to Him this year than I did the last. The business I have been called to, and enabled to go through, I know has been as great as nature could bear up under, and what would have overcome me quite, without special support. But alas, alas ! though I have borne the labours and endured the trials, with what spirit have I done the one and borne the other? How cold has been the frame of my heart oftentimes ; and how little have I kept in view the glory of God, in all my doings and sufferings ! I have found that I could have no peace without filling up all my time with labours ; and thus " necessity has been laid upon me ; " yea, in that respect, I have loved to labour : but the misery is, I could not sensibly labour for God as I would have done. May I for the future be enabled more decidedly to make the glory of God my all.
' Spent some considerable time in visiting my people again. Found scarce one but what was under serious impressions respecting their spiritual concerns.
' Jan. 2. Visited some persons newly come among us, who had scarcely ever heard any thing of Christ- anity, except the empty name, before. Endeavoured to instruct them particularly in the first principles of religion, in the most easy and familiar manner I could. Strangers from remote parts are almost continually dropping in among us, so that I have
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occasion repeatedly to open and inculcate the first principles of Christianity.
' Jan. 4. Prosecuted my catechetical method of in structing. Found my people able to answer questions with propriety, beyond what could have been ex pected from persons so lately brought out of heathen darkness. In the improvement of my discourse, there appeared some concern and affection in the assembly ; and especially those of whom I entertained hopes as being truly gracious, at least several of them, were much affected and refreshed.
' Lord's-day, Jan. 5. Discoursed from Matth. xii. 10 — 13. There appeared not so much liveliness and affection in divine service as usual. The same truths that have often produced many tears in the assembly, seemed now to have no special influence upon any.
' Near night I proposed to proceed in my usual method of catechizing, but while we were engaged in the first prayer, the power of God seemed to descend upon the assembly in such a remarkable manner, and so many appeared under pressing con cern for their souls, that I thought it much more expedient to insist upon the plentiful provision made by divine grace for the redemption of perishing sinners, and to press them to a speedy acceptance of the great salvation, than to ask them questions about doctrinal points. What was most practical seemed most seasonable to be insisted upon, while numbers appeared so extraordinarily solicitous to obtain an interest in the great Redeemer.
' Baptized two persons this day : one adult, the woman before particularly mentioned in my journal (p. 245), and one child. This woman has discovered a
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sweet and heavenly frame of mind from time to time, since her first reception of comfort. One morning in particular she came to see me, discovering an unusual joy and satisfaction in her countenance ; and when I inquired into the reason of it, she replied, " That God had made her feel that it was right for him to do what he pleased with all things ; and that it would be right if he should cast her husband and son both into hell," though it was apparent she loved them dearly. She moreover in quired, whether I was not sent to preach to the Indians, by some good people a great way off. I replied, Yes ; by the good people in Scotland. She answered, that her heart loved those good people so the evening before, ' that she could scarce help pray ing for them all night; her heart would go to God for them,' &c. Thus the blessing of such as are ready to perish is likely to come upon those pious persons, who have communicated of their substance to the propagation of the gospel.
' Monday, Jan. 6. Being very weak in body, I rode out for my health. While riding, my thoughts were sweetly engaged for a time, upon " the stone cut out of the mountain without hands, which brake in pieces" all before it, and " waxed great, and became a great mountain, and filled the whole earth/' I longed that Jesus should take to himself his great power and reign ; and oh how sweet were the moments, wherein I felt my soul warm with hopes of the enlargement of the Redeemer's kingdom! I wanted nothing else but that Christ should reign, to the glory of his blessed name.
'Jan. 11. Discoursed in a catechetical method, as usual of late. Having opened our first parent's
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apostacy from God, and our fall in him, I proceeded to apply my discourse, by showing the necessity of an almighty Redeemer, and the absolute need every sinner has of an interest in his merits and mediation. Some tenderness and affectionate con cern appeared in the assembly.
' Lord's-day, Jan. 12. Preached from Isaiah Iv. 6. The word of God seemed to fall upon the audience with a divine weight and influence, and evidently appeared to be " not the word of man." The blessed Spirit, I am persuaded, accompanied what was spoken to the hearts of many ; and there was a powerful revival of conviction in numbers who were under spiritual exercise before.
* Toward night, catechized in my usual method. Near the close of my discourse, there appeared a great concern and much affection in the audience, which increased while I continued to invite them to come to an all-sufficient Redeemer for eternal salva tion. The spirit of God seems, from time to time, to be striving with numbers of souls here. They are so frequently and repeatedly roused, that they seem unable at present to lull themselves asleep.
'Jan. 13. Was visited by several persons under deep concern, one of whom was newly awakened. — It is a most agreeable work to treat with souls who are solicitously inquiring " what they shall do to be saved ; " and as we are never to be " weary in well doing/' so the obligation seems to be peculiarly strong when the work is so very desirable. Yet I must say, my health is so much impaired, and my spirits so wasted with my labours and solitary manner of living, (there being no human creature in the house with me,) that their repeated and almost
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incessant applications to me for help and direction, are sometimes exceeding burdensome, and so ex haust my spirits, that I become fit for nothing at all, entirely unable to prosecute any business, sometimes for days together. And what contributes much to ward this difficulty is, that I am obliged to spend much time in communicating a little matter to them ; there being oftentimes many things necessary to be premised, before I can speak directly to what 1 principally aim at; M'hich things would readily be taken for granted, where there was a competency of doctrinal knowledge.
' Jan. 14. Spent some time in private conferences with my people, and found some disposed to take comfort, as I thought, upon slight grounds. — They are now generally awakened, and it is become so disgraceful, as well as terrifying to the conscience, to be destitute of religion, that they are in imminent danger of taking up with any appearance of grace, rather than to live under the fear and disgrace of an unregenerate state.
* Jan. 18. Prosecuted my catechetical method of discoursing. There appeared a great solemnity, and some considerable affection in the assembly. I find this method of instructing very profitable. When I first entered upon it, I was exercised with fears, lest my discourses would unavoidably be so doctrinal that they would tend only to enlighten the understanding rather than to affect the heart. But the event proves quite otherwise; for these exercises have hitherto been remarkably blessed in the latter, as well as the former respect.
* Lord's-day, Jan. 19. Discoursed to my perople from Isaiah lv.7. Toward night, catechized in my
s
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ordinary method. This appeared to be an especial season of grace among us ; numbers were much affected, convictions powerfully revived, and believers in general were refreshed and strengthened. One weary heavy-laden soul, I have abundant reason to hope, was brought to true rest and solid comfort in Christ, who afterwards gave me such an account of God's dealings with him, as was abundantly satisfy ing as well as refreshing to me.
i He told me he had often heard me say, that persons must see and feel themselves utterly helpless and un done ; that they must be emptied of all dependence upon themselves, and of all hope of saving themselves by their own doings, in order to their coming to Christ for salvation. He had long been striving after this view of things, supposing this would be an excellent frame of mind, to be thus emptied of a de pendence upon his own goodness ; that God would have respect to this frame, would then be well pleased with him, and bestow eternal life upon him. But when he came to feel himself in this helpless and undone condition, he found it quite contrary to all his thoughts and expectations ; so that it was not the frame, nor indeed any thing like the frame he had been seeking after. Instead of its being a good frame of mind, he now found nothing but badness in himself, and saw it was for ever impossible for him to make himself any better. He wondered, he said, that he had ever hoped to mend his own heart. He was amazed he had never before seen that it was utterly impossible for him, by all his contrivances and endeavours, to do any thing that way, since the matter now appeared to him in so clear a light. In stead of imagining now, that God would be pleased
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with him for the sake of this frame of mind, and this view of his undone state, he saw clearly, and felt it would be just with God to send him to eternal misery, and that there was no goodness in what he then felt; for he could not help seeing that he was naked, sinful, and miserable, and there was nothing in such a sight to deserve God's love or pity. He saw these things in a manner so clear and convincing, that it seemed to him, he said, as if he could con vince every body of their utter inability ever to help themselves, and their unworthiness of any help from God.
4 In this frame of mind he came to public worship this evening; and, while I was inviting sinners to come to Christ, without any goodness of their own to recommend them, he thought within himself that he had often tried to come and give up his heart to Christ, and he used to hope that some time or other he should be able to do so. But now he was con vinced he could not, and it seemed utterly vain for him ever to try any more ; and he could not, he said, find a heart to make any further attempt, because he saw it would signify nothing at all. Nor did he now hope for a better opportunity, or more ability here after, as he had formerly done, because he saw and was fully convinced, his own strength would for ever fail.
' While he was musing in this manner, he saw, he said, with his heart (which is a common phrase among them) something that was unspeakably good and lovely, and which he had never seen before; and * this stole away his heart whether he would or no/ He did not know what it was he saw. He did not say, 'this is Jesus Christ;' but it was such glory
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and beauty as he never saw before. He did not now give away his heart so as he had formerly intended and attempted to do, but it went away of itself after that glory he then discovered. He used to try to make a bargain with Christ, to give up his heart to him, that he might have eternal life for it. But now he thought nothing about himself, or what would become of him hereafter ; his mind was wholly taken up with the unspeakable excellency of what he then beheld. After some time, he was wonder fully pleased with the way of salvation by Christ: so that it seemed unspeakably better to be saved altogether by the mere free grace of God in Christ, than to have any hand in saving himself. The con sequence of this exercise is, that he appears to retain a sense and relish of divine things, and to maintain a life of seriousness and true religion.
' Jan. 28. The Indians in these parts having in times past run themselves in debt by their excessive drinking, and some having taken the advantage and put them to trouble and charge by arresting sundry of them, it was supposed a great part of their hunt ing lands were much endangered, and might speedily be taken from them. Sensible that they could not subsist together in these parts, in order to their being a Christian congregation, if these lands should drop out of their hands, which was thought very likely, T thought it my duty to use my utmost endeavours to prevent so unhappy an event. And having acquainted the gentlemen concerned with this mission of this affair, according to the best information I could get of it, they thought it proper to expend the money they had been and still were collecting for the reli gious interests of the Indians, (at least a part of it,)
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in discharging; their debts, and securing these lands, that there might be no entanglement lying upon them to hinder the settlement and hopeful enlargement of a Christian congregation of Indians in these parts. And having received orders from them, I answered, in behalf of the Indians, for eighty-two pounds five shillings, New Jersey currency, at eight shillings per ounce ; and so prevented the difficulty in this respect.
* As God has wrought a wonderful work of grace among these Indians, and now inclines others from remote places to fall in among them almost conti nually ; and as he has opened a door for the preven tion of the difficulty now mentioned, which seemed greatly to threaten their religious interests, as well as worldly comfort ; it may be hoped the Lord designs to establish a church for himself among them, and to hand down true religion to their posterity.
' Jan. 30. Preached to the Indians from John iii. 16, 17. There was a solemn attention and some affection visible in the audience ; several persons who had long been concerned for their souls, seemed afresh excited and engaged in seeking after an in terest in Christ. One with much concern afterwards told me, ' his heart was so pierced with my preach ing, he knew not where to turn nor what to do/
' Jan. 31. This day the person I had made choice of and engaged for a schoolmaster, arrived among us, and was heartily welcomed by my people universally. I immediately distributed several dozen of primers among the children and young people.
* February 1. My schoolmaster this day entered upon tjis business among the Indians. He has gene rally about thirty children and young persons in his
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school in the day-time, and about fifteen married people in the evening ; — the number of the latter sort of persons being less than it would be, if they could be more constantly at home, and spare time from their necessary employments for an attendance upon these instructions.
* In the evening, catechized in my usual method. Towards the close of my discourse, a surprising power seemed to attend the word, especially to some persons. One man, considerably in years, who had been a remarkable drunkard, a conjurer and mur derer, that was awakened some months before, was now brought to great extremity under his spiritual distress, so that he trembled for hours together, and apprehended himself to be just dropping into hell, without any power to rescue or relieve himself. Several others appeared under great concern as well as he, and solicitous to obtain a saving change.
'Lord's-day, Feb. 2. Preached from John v. 24, 25. There appeared some concern and affection in the assembly as usual. Towards night proceeded in my usual method of catechising. Observed my people more ready in answering the questions pro posed to them than ever before. It is apparent they advance daily in doctrinal knowledge. But what is still more desirable, the Spirit of God is yet operat ing among them, whereby experimental as well as speculative knowledge is propagated in their minds.
' Feb. 5. Discoursed to a considerable number of the Indians in the evening ; several of them appeared much affected and melted with divine things.
' Feb. 8. Spent a considerable part of the day in visiting my people from house to house, and convers ing with them about their souls' concerns. Divers
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persons wept while I discoursed to them, and appeared concerned for nothing so much as for an interest in the great Redeemer. In the evening, catechized as usual. Divine truth made some impression upon the audience, and was attended with an affectionate engagement of soul in some.
'Lord's-day, Feb. 9. Discoursed to my people from the story of the blind man, Matt. x. 46—52. The word of God seemed weighty and powerful upon the assembly at this time, and made considerable impressions upon many. Some in particular, who have generally been remarkably stupid and careless under the means of grace, were now awakened, and wept affectionately. The most earnest attention, as well as tenderness and affection, appeared in the audience universally.
' Baptized three persons, two adults and one child. The adults, I have reason to hope, were both truly pious. There was a considerable melting in the as sembly, while I was discoursing particularly to these persons, and administering the ordinance. God has been pleased to own and bless the administration of this as well as of his other ordinances among the Indians. Some have been powerfully awakened at seeing others baptized ; others have obtained relief and comfort, just in the season when this ordinance has been administered.
' Toward night catechized. God made this a powerful season to some, who were much affected, and former convictions were revived. There was likewise one, who had been a vile drunkard, remark ably awakened. He appeared to be in great anguish of soul, wept and trembled, and continued so to do till near midnight. There was also a poor heavy-
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laden soul, who had been long under spiritual dis tress, as constant and pressing as ever I saw, that was now brought to a comfortable calm, and seemed to be bowed and reconciled to divine sovereignty. She told me that " she now saw and felt it was right that God should do with her as he pleased ; and her heart felt satisfied it should be so : " although of late she had often found her heart rise and quarrel with God, because he might, if he pleased, send her to hell after all she had done, or could do, to save herself. She added, that the heavy burden she had lain under was now removed ; that she had tried to recover her concern and distress again, (fearing that the Spirit of God was departing from her, and would leave her wholly careless,) but that she could not recover it; that she felt she never could do any thing to save herself, but must perish for ever if Christ did not do all for her ; that she did not deserve his help, and that it would be right if he should leave her to perish. But Christ could save her, though she could do nothing to save herself; and here she seemed to rest.'
About this time, the enemy of souls was permitted in some degree to harass him with a new species of temptation ;— he says,
' Lord's-day, Feb. 2. After public worship, my bodily strength being much spent, my spirits sunk amazingly ; and especially on hearing that I was so generally taken to be a Roman Catholic, sent by the Papists to draw the Indians into an insurrection against the English ; that some were in fear of me, and others were for having me taken up by authority jmd nunished. Alas, what will not Satan do to bring
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a slur and disgrace on the work of God ! Oh! how holy and circumspect had I need to be ! Through divine goodness I have been enabled to ' mind my own business/ in these parts, as well as elsewhere; and to let all men, and all denominations of men, alone, as to their party notions ; and only preached the plain and necessary truths of Christianity, neither inviting to nor excluding from my meeting any per sons of any persuasion whatever. Towards night, the Lord gave me freedom at the throne of grace, in my first prayer before my catechetical lecture ; and in opening the 46th Psalm to my people, my soul confided in God, although the wicked world should slander and persecute me, or even condemn and exe cute me as a traitor to my king and country. Truly God is a " present help in time of trouble." In the evening, my soul was in a measure comforted, having some hope that one poor soul was brought home to God this day. Oh that I could fill up every moment of time, during my abode here below, in the service of my God and King.
' Monday, Feb. 3. My spirits were still much sunk with what I heard the day before, of my being suspected to be engaged in the Pretender's interest. It grieved me, that after there had been so much evidence of a glorious work of grace among these poor Indians, as that the most carnal men could not but take notice of the great change made among them, so many poor souls should still suspect the whole to be only a Popish plot, and so cast an awful reproach on this blessed work of the Holy Spirit, and, at the same time, wholly exclude themselves from receiving any benefit by this divine influence. This put me upon searching whether I had ever
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dropped any thing inadvertently, that might give occasion to any to suspect that I was stirring up the Indians against the English ; and could think of nothing, unless it was my attempting sometimes to vindicate the rights of the Indians, and complaining of the horrid practice of making the Indians drunk, and then cheating them out of their lands and other properties. Once, I remembered, I had done this with too much warmth of spirit, and it greatly dis tressed me ; thinking that this might possibly pre judice them against this work of grace, to their ever lasting destruction. God, I believe, did me good by this trial ; which served to humble me, and show me the necessity of watchfulness, and of being " wise as a serpent," as well as "harmless as a dove." This exercise led me often to the throne of grace ; and there I found some support, though I could not get the burden wholly removed. Was assisted in prayer, especially in the evening.
About the middle of February, Brainerd paid a visit to his late people at the Forks of the Delaware, in company with a few of his religious Indians from Crossweeksung ; whose conversation and example he thought might win on some of their countrymen who had neglected or opposed him. His former hearers received him kindly; though almost afraid to mani fest their friendship, from the rude attacks which they had encountered from the opposing Pagans. Considerable effect seemed to attend his preaching among them on this visit. His companions from Crossweeksung continued writh the Delaware In dians day and night, repeating and inculcating the truths which he had taught, and sometimes praying
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and singing with them. They discoursed also one with another, in the hearing of the Delaware Indians, of the great things which God had done for them, which seemed to take stronger hold on their minds, than when they directed their discourse immediately to them.'
Of his own people at Crossweeksung he records, at the beginning of March, this pleasing testimony :
' I know of no assembly of Christians, where there seems to be so much of the presence of God, where brotherly love so much prevails, and where I should take so much delight in the public worship of God, in general, as in my own congregation: al though not more than nine months ago, they were worshipping devils and dumb idols, under the power of Pagan darkness and superstition. Amazing change this ! effected by nothing less than divine power and grace ! " This is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes!"
'Their present situation is so compact and com modious, that they are easily and quickly called together, with only the sound of a conch-shell: so that they have frequent opportunities of attending religious exercises publicly; which seems to be a great means, under God, of keeping alive the im pressions of divine things in their minds/
The woman, of whom an affecting account was before given, had been constantly crying after Christ, as her only satisfying portion ; and often with tears, that she did not love him as she ought. Though the exercise of grace in her appeared evident to others, she seemed insensible of it herself; and never had any remarkable consolation till after some weeks, when she seemed raised above the world, with a " joy un-
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speakable and full of glory" — longing to depart and to be with Christ, in even an ecstasy of rejoicing. Brainerd thus describes her state of mind ; — ( After public worship was over, numbers came to my house, where we sang and discoursed ; and the presence of God seemed here also to be in the midst of us. While we were singing, there was one, (the woman mentioned in my journal of February 9,) who, I may venture to say, if I may be allowed to say so much of any person I ever saw, was " filled with joy unspeakable and full of glory," and could not but burst forth in prayer and praises to God before us all, with many tears, crying, " Oh ! blessed Lord, do come, do come! oh, do take me away, do let me die and go to Jesus Christ ! I am afraid, if I live, I shall sin again ! oh, do let me die now ! Oh, how can I live in this world ! do take my soul away from this sinful place ! oh, let me never sin any more ! Oh, what shall I do, what shall I do ! dear Jesus, oh, dear Jesus," &c. In this ecstacy, she continued some time, uttering these and such like expressions incessantly ; and the grand argu ment she used with God to take her away imme diately, was, that " if she lived, she should sin against him/'
When she had a little recovered herself, I asked her whether Christ was not now sweet to her soul ? Turning to me with tears in her eyes, and with all the tokens of deep humility I ever saw in any person, she said, " I have many times heard you speak of the goodness and preciousness of Christ, that he was better than all the world ; but, oh ! 1 knew nothing of what you meant, I never believed you ! I never believed you ! But now I know it is true : " — or
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words to that efl'ect. I answered, And do you see enough in Christ for the greatest of sinners? She replied, " Oh, enough, enough, for all the sinners in the world, if they would but come." And when I asked her, if she could not tell them of the goodness of Christ: turning herself round to some poor Christ- less souls who stood by, and were much affected, she said, " Oh ! there is enough in Christ for you, if you would but come ! oh, strive, strive, to give up your hearts to him ! " On hearing something of the glory of heaven mentioned, that there was no sin in that world, she again fell into the same ecstacy of joy, and desire of Christ's coming ; repeating her former expressions, " Oh, dear Lord, do let me go : oh, what shall I do, what shall I do ! I want to go to Christ! I cannot live! oh, do let me die !"
' She continued in this sweet frame for more than two hours, before she was able to get home. There may indeed be great joys, arising even to an ecstacy, where there is still no substantial evidence of their being well-grounded. But in the present case there seemed to be no evidence wanting, in order to prove this joy to be divine, either in regard of its prepara tives, attendants, or consequents. Of all the persons I have seen under spiritual exercise, I scarce ever saw one more bowed and broken under convictions of sin and misery than this woman: nor any who seemed to have a greater acquaintance with their own heart. She would frequently complain to me of the hardness and rebellion of her heart; would tell me that her heart rose and quarrelled with God, when she thought he would do with her as he pleased, and send her to hell notwithstanding her
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prayers, good frames, &c. that her heart was not willing to come to Christ for salvation, but tried ever}7 where else for help.
' As she had been remarkably sensible of her stub bornness and contrariety to God under conviction, so she appeared to be no less remarkably bowed and reconciled to divine sovereignty before she obtained any relief or comfort. Something of this I have be fore noticed in my journal of Feb. 9. Since which time she has seemed constantly to breathe the spirit and temper of the new creature ; crying after Christ, not through fear of hell as before, but with strong desires after him as her only satisfying portion ; and has many times wept and sobbed bitterly, because (as she apprehended) she did not and could not love him enough. — When I have sometimes asked her, why she appeared so sorrowful, and whether it was because she was afraid of hell ; she would answer, " No, I be not distressed about that ; but my heart is so wicked I cannot love Christ ; " and then she would burst out into tears. But though this had been the habitual frame of her mind for several weeks to gether, so that the exercise of grace appeared evi dent to others, yet she seemed wholly insensible of it herself, and never had any remarkable comfort or sensible satisfaction till this evening.
' This sweet and surprising ecstacy appeared to spring from a true spiritual discovery of the glory, ravishing beauty and excellency of Christ, and not from any gross imaginary notions of his human nature ; such as that of seeing him in such a place or posture, as hanging on the cross, as bleeding, as gently smiling, and the like ; which delusions some have been carried away with. Nor did it rise
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from a sordid selfish apprehension of her having any benefit whatsoever conferred on her, but from a view of his personal excellency and trans cendent holiness, which drew forth those vehement desires after him, and made her long to be " absent from the body, that she might be present with the Lord."
The attendants of this ravishing comfort were such as abundantly discovered its spring to be divine, and that it was truly a " joy in the Holy Ghost." Now she viewed divine truths as living realities ; and could say, " I know these things are so ; I feel they are true." Now her soul was resigned to the divine will in the most tender points ; so that when I said to her, What if God should take away your husband from you, (who was then very sick,) how do you think you could bear that? She replied, " He belongs to God, and not to me ; he may do with him just what he pleases." Now she had the most tender sense of the evil of sin, and discovered the utmost aversion to it; longing to die that she might be delivered from it. Now she could freely trust her all with God for time and eternity. And when I examined her, how she could be willing to die, and leave her little infant ; and what she thought would become of it in case she should, she answered, " God will take care of it. It belongs to him, he will take care of it." Now she appeared to have the most hum bling sense of her own meanness and unworthiness, her weakness and inability to preserve herself from sin, and to persevere in the way of holiness, crying, "• If I live, I shall sin." I thought I had never seen such an appearance of ecstacy and humility meeting in any one person in all my life before. The conse-
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quents of this joy are no less desirable and satisfac tory than its attendants. She since appears to be a most tender, broken-hearted, affectionate, devout, and humble Christian, as exemplary in life and con versation as any person in my congregation. May she still " grow in grace, and in the knowledge of Christ!"
* Lord's-day, March 16. Baptized the woman par ticularly mentioned in my journal of last Lord's-day ; who now, as well as then, appeared to be in a de vout, humble, and excellent frame of mind. My house being thronged with people in the evening, I spent the time in religious exercises with them, till my nature was almost spent. They are so unwearied in religious exercises, and unsatiable in their thirst ing after Christian knowledge, that I sometimes scarcely avoid labouring so as greatly to exhaust my strength and spirits/
A company of strangers visiting Crossweeksung, Brainerd particularly laid himself out, and engaged his people to assist him, in endeavouring to win them to embrace the Gospel. His conduct herein is a striking evidence of his ministerial faithfulness and wisdom : —
'Sunday, March 23, 1746.— There being about fifteen strangers, adult persons, come among us in the week past, divers of whom had never been in any religious meeting till now, I thought it proper to discourse this day in a manner peculiarly suited to their circumstances and capacities ; and accordingly attempted it, from Hos. xiii. 9, in the forenoon, opening, in the plainest manner I could, man's apos- tacy and ruined state, after having spoken some things respecting the being and perfections of God,
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and his creation of man in a state of uprightness and happiness. In the afternoon, I endeavoured to open the glorious provision which God has made for the redemption of apostate creatures, by giving his own dear Son to suffer for them, and satisfy divine justice on their behalf.
* There was not that affection and concern in the assembly which has been common among us ; although there was a desirable attention appearing in general, and even in most of the strangers.
' Near sun-set I felt an uncommon concern on my mind, especially for the poor strangers, that God had so much withheld his presence, and the powerful influence of his Spirit, from the assembly, in the exercises of the day; and thereby denied them that matter of conviction which I hoped they might have had. And in this frame I visited sundry houses, and discoursed with some concern and affection to several persons particularly : but without much ap pearance of success, till I came to a house where several of the strangers were ; and there the solemn truths which I discoursed of appeared to take effect, first on some children, then on divers adult persons who had been somewhat awakened before, and after ward on several of the pagan strangers.
* I continued my discourse, with some fervency, till almost every one in the house was melted into tears, and divers wept aloud, and appeared earnestly concerned to obtain an interest in Christ. Upon this, numbers soon gathered from all the houses round about, and so thronged the place, that we were obliged to remove to the house where we usually meet for public worship : and the congrega tion gathering immediately, and many appearing
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remarkably affected, I discoursed some time from Luke xix. 10, endeavouring to open the mercy, com passion, and concern of Christ for lost, helpless, and undone sinners.
* There was much visible concern and affection in the assembly ; and I doubt not but that a divine influence accompanied what was spoken to the hearts of many. There were five or six of the strangers (men and women) who appeared to be con siderably awakened : and, in particular, one very rugged young man, who seemed as if nothing would move him, was now brought to tremble like the jailer, and weep for a long time.
* The Indians that were awakened seemed at once to put off their savage roughness and pagan man ners, and become sociable, orderly, and humane in their carriage. When they first came, I exhorted my religious people to take pains with them (as they- had done with other strangers, from time to time) to instruct them in Christianity. But when some of them attempted something of that nature, the strangers would soon rise up and walk to other houses, in order to avoid the hearing of such discourses. Where upon, some of the serious persons agreed to disperse themselves into the several parts of the settlement : so that wherever the strangers went, they met with some instructive discourses, and warm addresses re specting their souls' concern. But now there was no need of using policy, in order to get an oppor tunity of conversing with some of them about their spiritual concerns ; for they were so far touched with a sense of their perishing state, as made them quietly yield to the closest addresses that were made them, respecting their sin and misery, and their need of an
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acquaintance with and interest in the great Re deemer.'
The next day he writes : —
' Monday, March 24. — Numbered the Indians, to see how many souls God had gathered together here, since my coming into these parts ; and found there were now about a hundred and thirty persons, old and young. Sundry of those that are my stated hearers, perhaps to the number of fifteen or twenty, were absent at this season. So that if all had been together, the number would now have been very considerable ; especially considering how few were together at my first coming into these parts, the whole number not amounting to ten persons at that time.
'My people going out this day upon the design of clearing some of their lands, above fifteen miles distant, in order to their settling there in a compact form ; where they might enjoy the advantages of attending the public worship of God, of having their children schooled, and at the same time have a con- veniency for planting, &c. ; their land in the place of our present residence being of little or no value for that purpose ; and the design of their settling thus in a body, and cultivating their lands (which they have done very little to in their pagan state), being of such necessity and importance to their religious interest, as well as worldly comfort ; I thought it proper to call them together, and shew them the duty of labouring with faithfulness and industry ; and that they must not now be slothful in business, as they had ever been in their pagan state. I endeavoured to press the importance of their being laborious, diligent, and vigorous in the prosecution of their business ; especially at the present juncture T 2
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(the season of planting being now near), in order to their being enabled to live together, and enjoy the means of grace and instruction. And having given them directions for their work, which they very much wanted, as well as for their behaviour in divers respects, I explained, sang, and endeavoured to inculcate upon them Psalm cxxvii., and having re commended them, and the design of their going forth, to God, by prayer with them, I dismissed them to their business/
' March 27. Discoursed to a number of my people in one of their houses in a more private manner. Inquired particularly into their spiritual state, in order to see what impressions of a religious nature they were under. Laid before them the marks and tokens of a regenerate, as well as an unregenerate state ; and endeavoured to suit my discourse to them severally, according as I apprehended their states to be. A considerable number gathered together be fore I finished my discourse, and several seemed much affected while I was urging the necessity and infinite importance of a renewed state. I find particular and close dealing with souls in private is often very suc cessful.
' March 29. In the evening catechized as usual. Treated upon the * benefits which believers receive from Christ at death/ The questions were answered with great readiness and propriety ; and those who, I hope, are the people of God, were in general sweetly melted. There appeared such a liveliness and vigour in their attendance upon the word, and such eager ness to be made partakers of the benefits then men tioned, that they seemed to be not only * looking for, but hasting to the coming of the day of God/
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Divine truth seemed to distil upon the audience with a gentle but melting efficacy, as the refreshing " showers upon the new-mown grass." The assem bly in general, as well as those who appear truly re ligious, were affected with some brief account of the blessedness of the godly at death ; and discovered an affectionate inclination to cry, " Let me die the death of the righteous/' &c. Yet many were not duly engaged to obtain the change of heart that is neces sary in order to that blessed end.
4 Lord's-day. March 30. Discoursed from Matt. xxv. 31 — 40. There was a very considerable moving and affectionate melting in the assembly, and I hope there were some real, deep, and abiding impressions of divine things made upon the minds of many. One aged man, newly come among us, appeared to be considerably awakened, but who never was touched with any concern for his soul before. — In the even ing catechized. There was not that tenderness and melting among God's people which had appeared the evening before, and at many other times. Yet they answered the questions distinctly and well, and were devout and attentive in divine service.
' March 31. Called my people together, as I had done the Monday morning before, and discoursed to them again on the necessity and importance of their labouring industriously, in order to their living to gether, and enjoying the means of grace ; and having engaged in solemn prayer to God among them, for a blessing upon their attempts, I dismissed them to their work. Numbers of them, both men and women* seemed to offer themselves willingly to this service ; and some appeared affectionately concerned that God might go with them, and begin their little town for
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them ; that by his blessing it might be comfortable for them and theirs, in regard both of procuring the necessaries of life, and attending the worship of God.
* April 5, 1746. Catechized towards evening. There appeared to be some affection and fervency in the assembly in general, especially towards the conclusion of my discourse. After public worship, a number of the truly religious came to my house, and seemed eager for some farther entertainment upon divine things. While I was conversing with them about their spiritual exercises, observing to them that God's work in the hearts of all his chil dren was in substance the same, and that their trials and temptations were also alike, and showing the obligations such were under to love one another in a peculiar manner, they seemed to be melted into tenderness and affection toward each other. I thought that one particular token of their being the disciples of Christ, namely, of their u having love one toward another," had scarcely ever appeared more evident than at this time. My heart was knit to them ; and I cannot say that I have felt such a fervent " love to the brethren" for some time past. I also saw in them appearances of the same love. This gave me something of a view of the heavenly state ; and par ticularly that part of the happiness of heaven which consists in the communion of saints. This was affecting to me.
'Lord's-day, April 6. Preached from Matt. vii. 21 — 23. There were considerable effects of the word visible on the audience, and such as were very desirable ; an earnest attention, a great solemnity, many tears and heavy sighs, which were modestly
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suppressed in a considerable measure, and appeared unaffected, without any indecent commotion of the passions. Several religious people were put upon serious and close examination, from hearing that "not every one that saith to Christ, Lord, Lord, shall enter into his kingdom." Some of them ex pressed fears lest they had deceived themselves with a false hope, because they found they had done so little of the " will of his Father in heaven." One man was brought under very great and pressing con cern for his soul, which appeared more especially after his retirement from public worship. That which gave him his great uneasiness, he says, was not so much any particular sin, as that he had never done the will of God at all, but had sinned continually, and so had no claim to the kingdom of heaven.
* In the afternoon I opened to them the discipline of Christ in his church, and the method in which offenders are to be dealt with. The religious people were much affected when they heard, that the offen der continuing obstinate, must finally be esteemed and treated * as a heathen man,' a pagan, that has no part nor lot among God's visible people. This they seemed to have the most awful apprehensions of; a state of heathenism, out of which they were so lately brought, appearing very dreadful to them. — After public worship I visited several houses to see how they spent the remainder of the Sabbath, and to treat with them solemnly on the great concern of their souls. The Lord seemed to smile upon my private endeavours, and to make these personal addresses more effectual upon some than my public discourses.
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' April 7. Preached to ray people in the evening from 1 Cor. xi. 23 — 26. Endeavoured to open to them the institution, nature, and ends of the Lord's Supper, as well as the qualifications and prepara tions necessary to the right participation of that ordinance. Several appeared much affected with the love of Christ, in making this provision for the comfort of his people, at a season when himself was just entering upon his sharpest sufferings/
Thus closed the twenty-eighth year of Brainerd's age, and the third of his ministry ; — his path shining more and more to that perfect day, which was about soon to open on his holy soul !
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CHAPTER VII.
The fourth year of his Missionary Labours ; from 1746 to 1747.
BRAINERD was now hastening to the close of his la bours, and rapidly maturing for his crown. On the 20th of April, 1746, he entered into the twenty-ninth year of his age, and the last complete year of his ministry. His Public Journal was continued but for about two months of this year; his last record in it being made on the 19th of June. From that time he grew gra dually more infirm, and was occasionally wholly dis abled from public duty. His private journal was regularly continued till Sept. 20th of this year ; after which it was greatly interrupted by the rapid pro gress of his disease.
About this time, a great clamour was raised against the Indians, in various parts of the country; and insinuations propagated against Brainerd, that he was training them up to become formidable and in jurious to others. Many persons wished to have them banished entirely from those parts ; and some threatened loudly, in order to deter the Indians from settling on the best and most convenient tracts of their own lands ; pretending a claim to these lands themselves, though never purchased of the Indians.
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Brainerd watched, as we have already seen, with parental anxiety, over the temporal comfort, as well as spiritual growth of his Indians. With a view to both these objects, he set apart a day for solemn fasting and prayer.
We extract his own account of his design, and of the manner in which this day was observed.
' April 25, 1746. — Having of late apprehended that a number of persons in my congregation were proper subjects of the ordinance of the Lord's Supper, and that it might be seasonable speedily to administer it to them ; and having taken advice of some of the reverend correspondents in this solemn aft'air; and, accordingly, having proposed and appointed the next Lord's-day, with permission of Divine Providence, for the administration of this ordinance, this day, as preparatory thereto, was set apart for solemn fasting and prayer, to implore the blessing of God on our design of renewing our covenant with him and with one another, to walk together in the fear of God, in love and Christian fellowship; and to intreat that his divine presence might be with us in our designed approach to his table ; as well as to humble our selves before God, on account of the apparent with- drawment (at least in a measure) of that blessed influence that has been so prevalent upon persons of all ages among us ; as also on account of the rising appearance of carelessness, vanity, and vice among a few, who, some time since, appeared to be touched and affected with divine truths, and brought to some sensibility of their miserable and perishing state by nature: and that we might also importu nately pray for the peaceable settlement of the Indians together in a body, that they might be a
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commodious congregation for the worship of God ; and that God would blast and defeat all the attempts that were or might be made against that pious design.
* The solemnity was observed and seriously at tended, not only by those who proposed to commu nicate at the Lord's table, but by the whole con gregation.
* In the former part of the day, I endeavoured to open to my people the nature and design of a fast, as I had attempted more briefly to do before, and to instruct them in the duties of such a solemnity. In the afternoon, I insisted on the special reasons there were for our engaging in these solemn exercises at this time ; both in regard of the need we stood in of divine assistance, in order to a due preparation for that sacred ordinance which we were some of us proposing, with leave of Divine Providence, speedily to attend on; and also in respect to the manifest decline of God's work here, as to the effectual con viction and conversion of sinners; there having been few of late deeply awakened out of a state of security.
' The worship of God was attended with great solemnity and reverence, with much tenderness and many tears, by those who appeared to be truly re ligious ; and there was some appearance of divine power on those who had been awakened some time before, and who were still under concern.
' After repeated prayer, and attendance on the word of God, I proposed to the religious people, with as much brevity and plainness as I could, the substance of the doctrine of the Christian faith, as I had formerly done, previous to their baptism ; and had
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their renewed cheerful assent to it. I then led them to a solemn renewal of their baptismal covenant, wherein they had explicitly and publicly given up themselves to God, the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, avouching him to be their God; and at the same time renouncing their heathenish vanities, their idolatrous and superstitious practices, and solemnly engaging to take the word of God, so far as it was, or might be, made known to them, for the rule of their lives, promising to walk together in love, to watch over themselves and one another, to lead lives of seriousness and devotion, and to discharge the relative duties incumbent on them.
' This transaction was attended with much serious ness ; and, at the same time, with the utmost readi ness, freedom, and cheerfulness : and a religious union and harmony of souls seemed to crown the whole solemnity. I could not but think, in the even ing, that there had been manifest tokens of the Divine Presence with us in all the services of the day ; though it was also manifest, that there was not that concern among Christless souls that has often appeared here.'
On the following Sunday, he administered the Lord's Supper to twenty-three Indians ; the number of men and women being nearly equal. Five or six others, who would have communicated with them, were absent at the Forks of the Delaware.
* Having rested/ he says, ' some time after the administration of the sacrament, being exceedingly tired with the necessary prolixity of the work, I walked from house to house ; and conversed par ticularly with most of the communicants ; and found that they had been almost universally refreshed at
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the Lord's table, as with new wine. And never did I see such an appearance of Christian love among any people in all ray life. It was so remarkable, that one might well have cried out, with an agreeable surprise, "Behold, how they love one another!" I think there could be no greater tokens of mutual affection among the people of God in the early days of Christianity, than what now appeared here. The sight was so desirable, and so well becoming the gospel, that nothing less could be said of it, than that it was the doing of the Lord, the genuine operations of him who is Love ! '
Having discoursed in the morning on Titus ii. 4, he resumed the subject in the evening, and insisted on the immediate end and design of Christ's death, " That he might redeem his people from all in iquity," &c.
' This appeared/ he says, ' to be a season of divine power among us. The religious people were much refreshed, and seemed remarkably tender and affec tionate, full of love, joy, peace, and desires of being completely redeemed from all iniquity ; so that some of them afterwards told me, they " had never felt the like before." Convictions also appeared to be revived in many instances ; and divers persons were awakened, whom I had never observed under any religious impressions before.
* Such was the influence that attended our as sembly ; and so unspeakably desirable the frame of mind that many enjoyed in the divine service, that it seemed almost grievous to conclude the public worship: and the congregation, when dis missed, although it was then almost dark, appeared loth to leave the place and employments that
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had been rendered so dear to them by the benefits enjoyed.
' I have abundant reason to think, that those who came to the Lord's Table had a good degree of doc trinal knowledge of the nature and design of the ordinance. And this competency of doctrinal know ledge, together with their grave and decent attend ance on the ordinance, their affectionate melting under it, and the Christian frame of mind which they discovered consequent upon it, gave me great satisfaction respecting my administration of it to them.
' What a sweet and blessed season was this ! God himself, I am persuaded, was in the midst of his people, attending His own ordinances. And I doubt not but many, in the conclusion of the day, could say with their whole hearts, " Verily, a day thus spent in God's house, is better than a thousand elsewhere." There seemed to be but one heart among the pious people. The sweet union, harmony, and endearing love and tenderness subsisting among them, was, 1 thought, the most lively emblem of the heavenly world that I had ever seen/
The next day he concluded this sacramental solemnity by a discourse on John xiv. 15.
* Observing the assembly in general affected, I thought it proper (he writes) to improve this advan tageous season, in order to promote the blessed re formation begun among them, and to engage those that appear serious and religious, to persevere therein : and accordingly proposed to them, that they should renewedly enter into covenant before God, that they would watch over themselves and one another, lest they should dishonour the name of Christ by falling
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into sinful and unbecoming practices ; and espe cially, that they would watch against the sin of drunkenness (the sin that easily besets them), and the temptations leading thereto, as well as the appear ance of evil in that respect. They cheerfully complied with the proposal, and explicitly joined in that covenant : whereupon I proceeded, in the most so lemn manner I was capable of, to call God to witness respecting their sacred engagement ; and reminded them of the greatness of the guilt which they would contract to themselves in the violation of it ; as well as observed to them, that God would be a terrible witness against those who should presume to do so, in the " great and notable day of the Lord."
4 It was a season of amazing solemnity ; and a divine awe appeared upon the face of the whole assembly, in this transaction ! Affectionate sobs, sighs, and tears, were now frequent in the audience : and I doubt not but that many silent cries were sent up to the fountain of grace for supplies of grace sufficient for the fulfilment of these solemn engage ments.'
The Indians were now removed to the lands which they had been preparing. This place was called Cranberry. Brainerd followed them ; and preached there, for the first time, on the 4th of May. Till a home could be prepared for him in the midst of his people, he took up his abode with an English family at some distance. It was several months before his house at Cranberry — the fourth which he built among the Indians— was ready for him ; but, in the mean time, he was assiduous, so far as his declining health allowed, in visiting them ; not only for their direct spiritual improvement, but because he daily dis-
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covered, more and more, of what importance it was likely to be to their religious interest, that they should become laborious and industrious, skilled in husbandry, and able to raise, in a good measure, the necessaries and comforts of life within themselves, as their present method of living greatly exposed them to temptations of various kinds.
On the 9th of May, Brainerd baptized an aged Powaw, or conjurer. Of this man, who appears to have been a remarkable instance of divine grace, he gives the following account : —
' He lived near, and sometimes attended my meet ing on the Forks of the Delaware, for more than a year ; but was, like many others of them, extremely attached to strong drink, and seemed to be no ways reformed by the means which I used with them for their instruction and conversion. In this time he likewise murdered a likely young Indian ; which threw him into some kind of horror or desperation, so that he kept at a distance from me, and refused to hear me preach for several months together, till I had an opportunity of conversing freely with him, and giving him encouragement, that his sin might be forgiven for Christ's sake : after which, he again attended my meetings, at some times.
* But that which was the worst of all his conduct, was his conjuration. He was one of them who are sometimes called powaws among the Indians : and, notwithstanding his frequent attendance on my preaching, he still followed his old charms and jug gling tricks ; giving out that himself was some great one ; and to him they gave heed, supposing him to be possessed of a great power : so that when I have instructed them respecting the miracles wrought by
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Christ, in healing the sick, &c. and mentioned them as evidences of his divine mission and the truth of his doctrines, they have quickly observed the wonders of that kind which this man had performed by his magic charms : whence they had a high opinion of him and his superstitious notions, which seemed to be a fatal obstruction to some of them, in the way of their receiving the Gospel. And I have often thought, it would be a great favour to the design of gospel- izing the Indians, if God would take that wretch out of the world ; for I had scarce any hope of his ever coming to good. But God, whose thoughts are not as man's thoughts, has been pleased to take a much more desirable method with him — a method agreeable to His own merciful nature, and, I trust, advantage ous to His own interest among the Indians, as well as effectual to the salvation of the poor man's soul ; — and to Him be all the glory of it !
' The first genuine concern for his soul that ever appeared in him, was excited by seeing my inter preter and his wife baptized at the Forks of the Delaware, July 21, 1745 ; which so prevailed on him, that, at the invitation of an Indian, who was a friend to Christianity, he followed me down to Crosweeksung, in the beginning of August, in order to hear me preach ; and there continued for several weeks, in the season of the most remarkable and powerful awakening among the Indians ; at which time he was more effectually awakened, and brought under great concern for his soul : and then, he says, on his « feeling the word of God in his heart/ as he expressed it, his spirit of conjuration left him entirely ; and that he had no more of that nature since, than any other man living: and declares, that u
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he does not now so much as know how he used to charm and conjure; and that he could not do any thing of that nature, if he was never so desirous of it. 4 He continued under convictions of his sinful and perishing state, and a considerable degree of concern for his soul, all the fall and the former part of the winter past : but was not so deeply exercised till some time in January ; and then the word of God took such hold on him, that he was brought into great distress, and knew not what to do, nor where to turn himself. When he used to hear me preach from time to time, in the fall of the year, he told me, that my preaching pricked his heart, and made him very uneasy ; but did not bring him to so great distress, because he still hoped he could do some thing for his own relief; but now, he said, I drave him up into 'such a sharp corner/ that he had no way to turn, and could not avoid being in distress.
* He continued constantly under the heavy burden and pressure of a wounded spirit, till at length he was brought into acute anguish, and the utmost agony of soul, which continued for a night, and part of the next day.
' After this, he was brought to a perfect calmness and cohiposure of mind, his trembling and heavy burden were removed, and he appeared perfectly se date ; although he had, to his apprehension, scarcely any hope of salvation.
* I observed him to appear remarkably composed, and thereupon asked him how he did. He replied, ' It is done ! it is done ! it is all done now ! ' — I. asked him what he meant. He answered, ' I can never do any more to save myself. It is all done forever. I can do no more.' — I questioned with him,
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whether he could not do a little more, rather than go to hell. He replied, ' My heart is dead. I can never help myself.' — I asked him, what he thought would become of him, then. He answered, ' I must ^o to hell/ — I asked him, if he thought it was right, that God should send him to hell. He replied, ' Oh, it is right. The devil has been in me ever since I was born/ — I asked him, if he felt this when he was in such great distress the evening before. He answered, ' No, I did not then think it was right. I thought God would send me to hell, and that I was then dropping into it ; but my heart quarrelled with God, and would not say it was right he should send me there. But now I know it was right ; for 1 have always served the devil, and my heart has no goodness in it now, but is as bad as ever it was/ — I thought I had scarcely ever seen any person more effectually brought off from a dependence on his own contrivances and endeavours for salvation ; or more apparently made to lie at the foot of sovereign mercy, than this man now did, under these views of things.
' In this frame of mind he continued for several days, passing sentence of condemnation on himself, and constantly owning that he expected this would be his portion, for the greatness of his sins. And yet it was plain that he had a secret hope of mercy, though imperceptible to himself, which kept him not only from despair, but from any very pressing dis tress ; so that, instead of being sad and dejected, his very countenance appeared pleasant and agreeable.
' While he was in this frame, he several times
asked me when I would preach again, and seemed
desirous to hear the word of God every day. I asked,
Why he wanted to hear me preach, seeing * his
u 2
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heart was dead and all was done ; * that ' he could never help himself, and expected that he must go to hell.' He replied, ' I love to hear you speak about Christ, for all that/ I added, ' But what good will that do you, if you must go to hell at last?' (using now his own language with him : having before, from time to time, laboured in the best manner I could, to represent to him the excellency of Christ, his all- sufficiency and willingness to save lost sinners, and persons just in his case ; although to no purpose, as to yielding him any special comfort) — He answered, ' I would have others come to Christ, if I must go to hell myself/
' It was remarkable, in this season, that he seemed to have a great love to the people of God: and no thing affected him so much as the thoughts of being separated from them. This seemed to be a very dreadful part of the hell to which he thought himself doomed. It was likewise remarkable, that in this season, he was most diligent in the use of all means for his soul's salvation ; although he had the clearest view of the insufficiency of means to afford him help; and would frequently say, that all he did signified nothing at all ; and yet he was never more constant in attending secret and family prayer daily, or more sur prisingly diligent and attentive in hearing the word of God : so that he neither despaired of mercy, nor yet presumed to hope upon his own doings ; but used means, because appointed of God in order to salvation, and because he would wait on God in his own way.
* After he had continued in this frame of mind more than a week, while I was discoursing publicly, he seemed to have a lively view of the excellency of
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Christ, and the way of salvation by him, which melted him into tears, and filled him with admira tion, comfort, satisfaction, and praise to God : since which he has appeared to be an humble, devout, and affectionate Christian ; serious and exemplary in his conversation and behaviour, frequently complaining of his barrenness, his want of spiritual warmth, life, and activity, and yet frequently favoured with quick ening and refreshing influences : and, in all respects, so far as I am capable to judge, he bears the marks and characteristics of one " created anew in Christ Jesus unto good works."
* His zeal for the cause of God was pleasing to me, when he was with me at the Forks of the Dela ware, in February last. There being an old Indian at the place where I preached, who threatened to bewitch me and my religious people who accompa nied me thither, this man presently challenged him to do his worst; telling him, that himself had been as great a conjurer as he ; and that notwithstanding, as soon as he felt that word in his heart which these people loved (meaning the word of God), his power of conjuring immediately left him ; ' And so it would be with you,' said he, ' if you did but once feel the word in your heart : and you have no power to hurt them, nor so much as to touch one of them.'
* So that I may conclude my account of him by observing, in allusion to what was said of St. Paul, that he now zealously defends and practically " preaches the faith which he once destroyed," or at least was instrumental of obstructing. May God have all the glory of the amazing change which he has wrought in him ! '
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A few extracts from his journal of this period will show the course by which Brainerd was brought into a growing deadness to himself and the world, and rapidly preparing for that last message which he was so soon to hear.
' May 8, 1746. In the evening was somewhat re freshed with divine things, and enjoyed a tender melting frame in secret prayer. My soul was drawn out for the interest of Zion, and comforted with the lively hope of the appearing of the kingdom of the great Redeemer. These were sweet moments ; I felt almost loath to go to bed, and grieved that sleep was necessary. However, I lay down with a tender reverential fear of God, sensible that " his favour is life/' and his smiles better than all that earth can give ; nay, infinitely better than life itself.
' May 10. Rode to Allen's Town, to assist in the administration of the Lord's Supper. In the after noon, preached from Titus ii. 14. " Who gave him self for us," &c. God was pleased to carry me through with some competency of freedom, and yet to deny me that enlargement and power I longed for. In the evening my soul mourned, and could not but mourn, that I had treated so excellent a sub ject in so defective a manner, that I had borne so broken a testimony for so worthy and glorious a Re deemer. And if my discourse had met with the utmost applause from all the world, (as I accidentally heard it applauded by some persons of judgment,) it would not have given me any satisfaction. It grieved me to think that I had had no more holy warmth and fervency, that I had been no more melted in dis coursing of Christ's death, and the end and design
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of it. Afterwards I enjoyed some freedom and fer vency in secret and family prayer, and longed much for the presence of God to attend his word and ordinances the next day.
* May 11. Assisted in the administration of the Lord's Supper, but enjoyed little enlargement: was grieved and depressed at some things that I thought undesirable. In the afternoon went to the house of God, weak and sick in soul, as well as feeble in body ; and longed that the people might be edified with divine truths, and that an honest, fervent testi mony might be borne for God ; but knew not how it was possible for me to do any thing of that kind, to any good purpose. Yet God, who is rich in mercy, was pleased to give me assistance, both in prayer and preaching. God helped me to wrestle for his presence, in prayer, and to tell him, that he had pro mised, wherever two or three were met together in his name, that he would be in the midst of them ; and that we were, at least some of us, so met ; and pleaded that for his truth's sake he would be with us. And, blessed be God, it was sweet to my soul, thus to plead, and rely on his promises. Discoursed upon Luke ix. 30, 31. Enjoyed special freedom, from the beginning to the end of my discourse, without inter ruption. Things pertinent to the subject were abun dantly represented to my view ; and such a fulness of matter, that I scarce knew how to dismiss the various heads and particulars that I had occasion to touch upon. And, blessed be the Lord! I was favoured with some fervency and power, as well as freedom ; so that the word of God seemed to awaken the attention of a stupid audience, to a considerable degree. I was inwardly refreshed with the consola-
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tions of God, and could, with my whole heart, say, " Though there be no fruit in the vine, &c. yet I will /ejoice in the Lord."
'May 16. Near night, enjoyed some agreeable and edifying conversation with a dear minister, which, I trust, was blessed to me. My heart was warmed, and engaged to live to God, so that I longed to exert myself with more vigour than ever I had done. Those words quickened me : " Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bring forth much fruit." My soul longed and prayed to be enabled to live to Qod with the utmost constancy and ardour. In the evening, God was pleased to shine on me in secret prayer, and draw out my soul after himself. I had freedom in supplication for myself, but much more in intercession for others ; so that I was con strained to say, ' Lord ! use me as thou wilt. Do as thou wilt with me ; but, oh, promote thine own cause ! Zion is thine; oh, visit thine heritage ! Oh, let thy kingdom come ! Oh, let thy blessed interest be ad vanced in the world !' When I attempted to look to God, respecting my worldly circumstances and his providential dealings with me, in regard of my set tling down in my congregation, which seems to be necessary, and yet very difficult, and contrary to my fixed intention for years past, as well as my disposi tion, which has been, and still is, at times especially, to go forth, and spend my life in preaching the gospel from place to place, and gathering souls afar off to Jesus the great Redeemer ; when I attempted to look to God with regard to these things and his designs concerning me, I could only say. " The will of the Lord be done ! " 'it is no matter for me.' The same frame of mind I felt with respect to another
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important affair, of which I have lately had some serious thoughts. I could say, with the utmost calm ness and composure, ' Lord, if it be most for thy glory, let me proceed in it ; but, if thou seest that in any wise it will hinder my usefulness in thy cause, oh prevent my proceeding ! for all I want respecting this world is, such circumstances as may best capacitate me to do service for thee in the world/ But, blessed be God ! I enjoyed liberty in prayer for my dear flock, and was enabled to pour out my soul into the bosom of a tender Father. My heart within me was melted, when I came to plead for my people, and for the kingdom of Christ in general. Oh, how sweet was this evening to my soul ! I knew not how to go to bed ; and, when I got to bed, I longed for someway to improve time for God, to some excellent purpose. " Bless the Lord,
0 my soul ! "
' May 17. I find discouragement to be an ex ceeding hindrance to my spiritual fervency and affection ; but when God enables me sensibly to find that I have done something for him, this refreshes and animates me, so that I could break through all hardships, undergo any labours, and nothing seems too much either to do or suffer. But, oh ! what a death it is, to strive, and strive, — to be always in a hurry, and yet to do nothing, or at least to do no thing for God ! Alas, alas, that time flies away, and
1 do so little for God !
' Sunday, May 18. I felt my own utter insuffi ciency for my work. God made me to see that I was a child ; yea, that I was a fool. I discoursed both parts of the day, from Rev. iii. 20. " Behold ! I stand at the door, and knock." God gave me free-
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dom and power in the latter part of my forenoon's discourse ; although, in the former part of it, I felt peevish, and provoked with the unmannerly be haviour of the white people, who crowded in between my people and me, which proved a great temptation to me. But, blessed be God ! I got these shackles off before the middle of my discourse, and was favoured with a frame of spirit full of love, warmth, and tenderness.
' May 19. Visited and preached to my people from Acts xx. 18, 19, and endeavoured to rectify their notions about religious affections ; shew ing them, on the one hand, the desirableness of religious affection, tenderness, and fervent engagement in the worship and service of God, when such affection flows from a true discovery of divine glories, from a justly-affecting sense of the transcendent excellency and perfections of the blessed God, and a view of the glory and loveliness of the great Redeemer, and that such views of divine things will naturally excite us to " serve the Lord with many tears," with much affection and fervency, and yet " with all humility of mind;" and, on the other hand, observing the sinfulness of seeking after high affections, imme diately, and for their own sakes, that is, of making them the object upon which our eye and heart are next and principally set, when the glory of God ought to be so : shewed them, that if the heart be directly and chiefly fixed on God, and the soul engaged to glorify him, some degree of religious affec tion will be the effect and attendant of it ; but that, to seek after affection directly and chiefly, or to have the heart principally set upon that, is to place it in the room of God and his glory. If it be sought,
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that others may take notice of and admire us for our spirituality and forwardness in religion, it is then abominable pride; if for the sake of feeling the pleasure of being affected, it is then idolatry and self-gratification : — laboured also to expose the dis- agreeableness of those affections that are sometimes wrought up in persons, by the power of fancy, and their own attempts for that purpose ; while I still endeavoured to recommend to them that sacred affection, fervency, and devotion, which ought to attend all our religious exercises, and without which religion will be but an empty name, and lifeless carcase.
' This appeared to be a seasonable discourse, and proved very satisfactory to some of the religious people, who before were exercised with some diffi culties relating to this point.
' May 22. In the evening, was in a frame some what remarkable— had apprehended, for several days before, that it was the design of Providence that I should settle among my people here ; and had, in my own mind, begun to make provision for it, and to contrive means to hasten it ; and found my heart something engaged in it, hoping I might then enjoy more agreeable circumstances of life, in several respects ; and yet was never fully determined ; never quite pleased with the thoughts of being confined to one place. Nevertheless, I seemed to have some freedom in that respect, because the congregation I thought of settling with was one that God had enabled me to gather from among Pagans. For never since I began to preach, could I feel any free dom to " enter into other men's labours," and settle down in the ministry where the gospel was preached
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before. When I felt any disposition to consult my ease and worldly comfort, God has never given me any liberty in that respect, either since or for some years before I began to preach ; but he having succeeded my labours, and made me instrumental of gathering a church for him among the Indians, I was ready to think that it might be his design to give me a quiet settlement, and a stated home of my own. And this, considering the late frequent sink ing and failure of my spirits, and the need in which I stood of some agreeable society, and my great desire of enjoying convenience and opportunities for profitable studies, was not altogether disagreeable to me; although I still wanted to go about far and wide, in order to spread the blessed gospel among benighted souls far remote : yet I never had been so willing to settle in any one place for more than five years past, as I was in the foregoing part of this week. But now these thoughts seemed to be wholly dashed in pieces ; not by necessity, but of choice; for it appeared to me, that God's dealings towards me had fitted me for a life of solitariness and hard ship : it appeared to me that I had nothing to lose, nothing to do with earth, and consequently nothing to lose by a total renunciation of it: and it appeared just right that I should be destitute of house and home, and many comforts of life, which I rejoiced to see others of God's people enjoy. And, at the same time, I saw so much of the excellency of Christ's kingdom, and the infinite desirableness of its ad vancement in the world, that it swallowed up all my other thoughts ; and made me willing, yea, even rejoice, to be made a pilgrim or hermit in the wilder ness to my dying moment, if I might thereby pro-
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mote the blessed interest of the great Redeemer. And if ever my soul presented itself to God for his service, without any reserve of any kind, it did so now. The language of my thoughts and disposition (although I spake no words) now were, * Here I am Lord, send me : send me to the ends of the earth : send me to the rough, the savage Pagans of the wilderness : send me from all that is called comfort in earth : send me even to death itself, if it be but in thy service, and to promote thy kingdom.' And, at the same time, I had as quick and lively a sense of the value of worldly comforts as ever I had ; but yet saw them infinitely overmatched by the worth of Christ's kingdom, and the propagation of his blessed gospel. The quiet settlement, the certain place of abode, the tender friendship, which I thought I might be likely to enjoy in consequence of such circumstances, appeared as valuable to me, considered absolutely and in themselves, as ever before ; but, considered comparatively, they appeared nothing : compared with the enlargement of Christ's kingdom, they vanished like the stars before the rising sun. And, sure I am, that although the comfortable accommodations of life appeared val uable and dear to me, yet I did surrender and resign myself, soul and body, to the service of God, and promotion of Christ's kingdom ; though it should be in the loss of them all. And I could not do any otherwise because I could not will or chuse any other. I was constrained, and yet chose to say, ' Farewell, friends and earthly comforts, the dearest of them all, the very dearest, if the Lord calls for it! adieu, ad?eu ! I'll spend my life, to my latest moments, in caves and dens of the earth, if the kingdom of Christ
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may thereby be advanced.' 1 found extraordinary freedom at this time in pouring out my soul to God, for his cause ; and especially, that his kingdom might be extended among the Indians far remote; and I had a great and strong hope, that he would do it. I continued wrestling with God in prayer for my dear little flock here ; and more especially for the Indians elsewhere ; as well as for dear friends in one place and another ; till it was bed-time, and I feared I should hinder the family, &c. But oh, with what reluctancy did I find myself obliged to con sume time in sleep ! I longed to be a flame of fire, continually glowing in the divine service, preaching and building up Christ's kingdom, to my latest, my dying moment.
* May 23. In the morning, was in the same frame of mind as in the evening before. The glory of Christ's kingdom so much outshone the pleasure of earthly accommodations and enjoyments, that they appeared comparatively nothing, though in themselves good and desirable. My soul was melted in secret meditation and prayer, and I found myself divorced from any part in this world ; so that in those affairs that seemed of the greatest importance to me in respect of the present life, and those wherein the tender powers of the mind are most sensibly touched, I could only say, " The will of the Lord be done!" But just the same things that I felt the evening before, I felt now ; and found the same freedom in prayer for the people of my charge, for the propagation of the gospel among the Indians, and for the enlargement and spiritual welfare of Zion in general, and my dear friends in particular, now, as I did then ; and longed to burn out in one
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continued flame for God. Retained much of the same frame through the day. In the evening, was visited by my brother, John Brainerd ; the first visit I have ever received from any near relative since I have been a missionary. Felt the same frame of spirit in the evening as in the morning ; and found that " it was good for me to draw near to God/' and leave all my concerns and burdens with him. Was enlarged and refreshed in pouring out my soul for the propagation of the gospel of the Redeemer among the distant tribes of Indians. Blessed be God, — if ever I filled up a day with studies and devotion, I was enabled so to fill up this day.
June 1. Preached both forenoon and afternoon from Matt. xi. 27, 28. The presence of God seemed to be in the assembly, and numbers were consider ably melted and affected under the word. There was a desirable appearance in the congregation in general, an earnest attention and agreeable tender ness, and it seemed as if God designed to visit us with further showers of divine grace. — I then bap tized ten persons, five adults and five children, and was not a little refreshed with this addition to the church, of such as I hope shall be saved. Since our celebration of the Lord's Supper, several who had long been under spiritual trouble and concern, have obtained relief and comfort, though there have been few instances of persons lately awakened out of a state of security. And those comforted of late, seem to be brought in in a more silent way, neither their concern nor consolation being so powerful and re markable, as appeared among those more suddenly wrought upon in the beginning of this work of grace. ' June 4. Spent the day in writing, and had some
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satisfaction and freedom in my work. In the even ing, I was favoured with a sweet refreshing frame of soul in secret prayer and meditation. Prayer was now wholly turned into praise, and I could do little else hut try to adore and bless the living God. The wonders of his grace displayed in gather ing to himself a church among the poor Indians here, were the subject-matter of my meditation, and the occasion of exciting me to praise and bless his holy name. My soul was scarcely ever more disposed to inquire, " What shall I render to God for all his benefits," than at this time. I was brought into a strait, a sweet and happy strait, to know what to do. I longed to make some returns to God, but found I had nothing to return. I could only rejoice that God had done the work himself, and that none in heaven or earth might pretend to share the honour with him.
' June 6. Discoursed to my people from part of Isaiah liii. The divine presence appeared to be amongst us in some measure. Several persons were much melted and refreshed ; and one man in parti cular, who had long been under concern for his soul, was now brought to see and feel, in a very lively manner, the impossibility of his doing any thing to help himself, or to bring him into the favour of God, by his tears, prayers, and other religious perform ances. He found himself undone as to any power or goodness of his own, and that there was no way left but to leave himself with God to be disposed of as he pleased.
* June 7. Being desired by the Rev. William Tennent to be his assistant in the administration of the Lord's Supper; my people also being invited to
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attend the sacramental solemnity, they cheerfully embraced the opportunity, and this day attended the preparatory services with me.
' Lord's-day, June 8. Most of my people who had been communicants at the Lord's table before, being present at this sacramental occasion, communicated with others in this holy ordinance, at the desire, and I trust to the satisfaction and comfort, of numbers of God's people, who had longed to see this day, and whose hearts had rejoiced in this work of grace among the Indians, which prepared the way for what appeared so agreeable at this time. Those of my people who communicated, seemed agreeably affected at the Lord's table, and some of them considerably melted with the love of Christ; though they were not so remarkably refreshed and feasted at this time, as when I administered this ordinance to them in our own congregation only.
Some of the spectators were affected with seeing these, who had been " aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers to the covenant of promise/' and who of all men had lived " without God, and without hope in the world,"— now brought " near to God " as his professing people, and sealing a covenant with him by a solemn and devout attendance upon this sacred ordinance. And as numbers of God's people were refreshed with this sight, and thereby excited to bless God for the enlargement of his kingdom in the world, so some others (I was told) were awak ened by it, apprehending the danger they were in, of being themselves finally " cast out," while they saw others, " from the east and from the west," preparing, and hopefully prepared, in some good measure, to " sit down in the kingdom of God." x
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At this season others of my people also, who were not communicants, were considerably affected : con victions were revived in divers instances ; and one (the man particularly mentioned in my journal of the 6th instant) obtained comfort and satisfaction ; and has since given me such an account of his spiritual exercises, and the manner in which he obtained relief, as appears very hopeful. It seems as if He " who commanded the light to shine out of darkness," had now " shined in his heart, and given him the light of" an experimental " knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ."
' June 9. A considerable number of my people met together early in the day, in a retired place in the woods, and prayed, sang, and conversed of divine things. They were seen, by some religious persons of the white people, to be affected and engaged, and several of them in tears in these religious exercises. They afterwards attended the concluding exercises of the sacramental solemnity, and then returned home, " rejoicing for all the goodness of God" they had seen and felt. This was a profitable and comfortable season to numbers of my congregation. Their joining in communion at the Lord's table with others of God's people on this occasion, was, I trust, for the honour of God, and the interest of religion in these parts ; and many, I hope, were quickened by it.
' June 13. Preached to my people upon the new creature, from 2 Cor. v. 17. The presence of God appeared to be in the assembly. It was a sweet and agreeable meeting ; the people of God were refreshed and strengthened, beholding their faces in the glass of God's word, and finding in themselves
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the marks and lineaments of the new creature. Some sinners under concern were also renewedly affected, and afresh engaged for the securing of their eternal interests.
' Baptized five persons at this time, three adults and two children. One of these was the very aged woman, of whose exercise I gave an account in my journal of December 26. She now gave me a very rational and satisfactory account of the re markable change which she experienced some months after the beginning of her concern, and which appeared to be the genuine operation of the divine Spirit, so far as I am capable of judg ing. And although she was become so childish, through old age, that I could do nothing in the way of questioning her, nor scarce make her under stand any question that I asked her, yet, when I let her alone to go on with her own story, she could give a very distinct and particular relation of the many various exercises of her soul — so deep were the im pressions left on her mind. I have great reason to hope that she is born anew in her old age ; being, I presume, upwards of fourscore/
On the 19th of June, Brainerd closes his public journal with the following reflections and praise; —
* This day makes a complete year from the com mencement of my preaching to these Indians in New Jersey. What amazing things has God wrought in this space of time for these poor people ! What a sur prising change appears in their tempers and behaviour! How are morose and savage pagans, in this short space of time, transformed into gentle, affectionate, and humble Christians ; and their drunken and pagan bowlings turned into devout and fervent prayers and x 2
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praises to God ! They, who " were sometimes dark ness are now become light in the Lord." May they " walk as children of the light and of the day ! And now unto him that is of power to establish them according to the gospel, and the preaching of Christ — to God only wise, be glory, through Christ Jesus, for ever and ever? Amen.'"
During the remainder of this fourth year of his labours and twenty-ninth of his age, being about nine months, to April 1747, his strength rapidly de cayed, and his spirits failed ; but he persevered to his power, and often beyond his power, in the service of his Lord.
Having formed the design of another journey to the Susquehanna, he selected six members of his congregation to accompany him ; and, after much prayer with his people, that the Holy Spirit might bless his labours and set up the kingdom of Christ among the Indians in the wilderness, he set forward on his journey about the middle of August. He directed his course through Philadelphia; in tending to reach the Susquehanna below the parts inhabited by the Indians, and then to travel up the river to the Indian dwellings. This route was very circuitous : but he avoided thereby the huge moun tains and wild desert country which he must have crossed by the nearer way ; and which he had found in his former journeys, so difficult and fatiguing, that, in his present state of debility, he could not encounter them.
In about ten days, the travellers reached the Indian town, Shaumoking. He passed a fortnight among the Indians, riding to different parts where they were settled, and labouring incessantly among them for
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their good, in which he was heartily assisted by his companions. All this was done with his usual fer vour and spirit, although his frame was exhausted by coughing1, spitting of blood, and profuse night-per spirations.
An extract from his journal will show to what " perils in the wilderness " this servant of Christ was exposed.
* Sept. 2, 1746. Rode forward, but no faster than my people went on foot; was very weak, on this as well as on the preceding days ; was so feeble and faint, that I feared it would kill me to lie out in the open air: and, some of our company being parted from us, so that we had no axe with us, I had noway but to climb into a young pine-tree, and with my knife to lop the branches, in order to make with them a shelter from the dew ; but the evening being- cloudy and threatening rain, I was still under fear of being extremely exposed ; sweating much in the night, so that my linen was almost wringing wet all night. I scarcely ever was more weak and weary, than this evening, when I was able to sit up at all. This was a melancholy situation I was in ; but I endeavoured to quiet myself with considerations of the possibility of my being in much worse circumstances, amongst enemies, &c.'
But no outward suffering lay with such a burden on his spirit, as his sense of his own unworthiness. He writes, a few days afterward—
' I had, by this time, very little life or heart to speak for God, through feebleness of body and low- ness of spirits ; was scarcely ever more ashamed and confounded in myself than now. I was sensible, that there were numbers of God's people, who knew
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I was then out upon a design, or at least a pretence, of doing something for God and his cause, among the poor Indians, and they were ready to suppose that I was fervent in spirit : but oh, the heartless frame of mind that I felt filled me with confusion ! 4 Oh ! ' methought, ' if God's people knew ine, as God knows me, they would not think so highly of my zeal and resolution for God, as perhaps now they do ! ' I could not but desire that they should see how heartless and irresolute I was, that they might be undeceived, and " not think of me above what they ought to think ; " and yet I thought, if they saw the utmost of my dullness and unfaithfulness, the smallness of my courage and resolution for God, they would be ready to shut me out of their doors, as un worthy of the company or friendship of Christians/
He reached home on the 20th of September, having been absent about five weeks.
In his diary he says, —
' Saturday, Sept. 20. Arrived among my own people, just at night. Found them praying together: went in and gave them some account of God's deal ings with me and my companions in the journey, which seemed affecting to them. I then prayed with them, and thought the divine presence was amongst us : several were melted into tears, and seemed to have a sense of divine things. Being very weak, I was obliged soon to repair to my lodgings, and felt much worn out in the evening. Thus God has car ried me through the fatigues and perils of another journey to Susquehanna, and returned me again in safety, though under a great degree of bodily indis position. Oh that my soul were truly thankful for renewed instances of mercy ! Many hardships and
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distresses I endured in this journey ; but the Lord supported me under them all.'
Of this journey he writes : —
' I had proposed to tarry a considerable time longer among the Indians on the Susquehanna : but was hindered from pursuing my purpose by the sick ness that prevailed there, the weakly circumstances of my people that were with me, and especially my own extraordinary weakness, having been exercised with great nocturnal sweats and a coughing up of blood, in almost the whole of the journey ; and was a great part of the time so feeble and faint, that it seemed as though I never should be able to reach home ; and, at the same time, very destitute of the comforts and even necessaries of life, at least what was necessary for one in so weak a state. In this journey I was enabled, at times, to speak the word of God with some power, and divine truths made some impression on divers that heard me ; so that several, both men and women, old and young, seemed to cleave to us, and be well disposed toward Chris tianity ; but others mocked and shouted, which damped those who before seemed friendly, at least some of them : yet God, at times, was evidently pre sent, assisting me and my interpreter, and other dear friends who were with me. God gave, sometimes, a good degree of freedom in prayer for the in-gathering of souls there ; and I could not but entertain a strong hope, that the journey would not be wholly fruitless. Whether the issue of it would be the setting up of Christ's kingdom there, or only the drawing of some few persons down to my congregation in New Jersey ; whether they were only preparing for some future attempts that might be made among them ; I did not de-
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termine ; but I was persuaded that the journey would not be lost. Blessed be God, that I had any encou ragement and hope ! Many hardshipsand distresses I endured ; but the Lord supported me under them all.'
Hitherto Brainerd had kept his diary with great regularity ; stating what passed from day to day with very little interruption. But, from this period, it was much broken in upon by his illness. He was often brought so low, as to be quite incapable of digesting and recording the events of the day. His diary was not, however, wholly neglected, but he took care to notice, from time to time, the most mate rial things respecting himself, and the state of his mind, even till within a few days of his death.
' Lord's-day, Sept. 21, 1746. I was so weak I could not preach, nor pretend to ride over to my people in the forenoon. In the afternoon, rode out; sat in my chair, and discoursed to my people from Rom. xiv. 7, 8. I was strengthened and helped in my discourse, and there appeared something agree able in the assembly. I returned to my lodgings extremely tired, but thankful that I had been enabled to speak a word to my poor people, from whom I had been so long absent. Was able to sleep very little this night, through weariness and pain. Oh how blessed should I be, if the little I do were but all done with right views ! Oh that, " whether I live, I might live to the Lord," &c.
4 Saturday, Sept. 27. Spent this day, as well as the whole week past, under a great degree of bodily weakness, attended with a violent cough and fever. Had no appetite to any kind of food, and frequently brought up what I eat, as soon as it was down ; and
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oftentimes had little rest in my bed, by reason of pains in my breast and back. I was able, however, to ride over to my people, about two miles, every day, and take some care of those who were then at work upon a small house for me to reside in amongst the Indians.
' Lord's-day, Sept. 28. Rode to my people ; and though under much weakness, attempted to preach from 2 Cor. xiii. 5. Discoursed about half an hour; at which season divine power seemed to attend the word: but being extremely weak, I was obliged to desist ; and after a turn of faintness, with much diffi culty rode to my lodgings ; where, betaking myself to my bed, I lay in a burning fever, and almost de lirious for several hours ; till towards morning, my fever went off with a violent sweat. I have often been feverish and unable to rest quietly after preach ing; but this was the severest illness that preaching ever brought upon me. Yet I felt perfectly at rest in my own mind, because I had made my utmost attempts to speak for God, and knew I could do no more.
' Saturday, Oct. 4. Spent the former part of this week under great infirmity and disorder, as I had done several weeks before. Was able, however, to ride a little every day, although unable to sit up half the day till Thursday. Took some care daily of some persons at work upon my house. On Friday after noon, found myself wonderfully revived and strength ened ; and having some time before given notice to my people, and to those at the Forks of Dela ware in particular, that I designed, with leave of Providence, to administer the Lord's Supper upon the first Sabbath in October, the Sabbath now ap-
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preaching, on Friday afternoon I preached, prepara tory to the sacrament, from 2 Cor. xiii. 5., finishing what I had proposed to offer upon the subject the Sabbath before. The sermon was blessed to the stirring up of religious affection, and a spirit of devo tion, in the people of God ; and to the greatly affect ing one who had backslidden from God, which caused him to judge and condemn himself. I was surprisingly strengthened in my work while speak ing ; but was obliged immediately after to repair to bed, being now removed into my own house among the Indians. This gave me such speedy relief and refreshment, as I could not well have lived without. Spent some time on Friday night in conversing with my people about divine things, as I lay upon my bed ; and found my soul refreshed, though my body was weak. This being Saturday, I discoursed par ticularly with divers of the communicants ; and this afternoon preached from Zech. xii. 10. There seemed to be a tender melting, and hearty mourning for sin, in numbers of the congregation. My soul was in a comfortable frame, and I enjoyed freedom and assistance in public service ; was myself, as well as most of the congregation, much affected with the humble confession, and apparent broken-heartedness of the forementioned backslider. I could not but rejoice that God had given him such a sense of his sin and unworthiness. Was extremely tired in the evening, but lay on my bed, and discoursed to my people.
' LordVday, Oct. 5. Was still very weak; and in the morning apprehended that I should not be able to go through the work of the day ; having much to do, both in private and public. Discoursed before
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the administration of the sacrament, from John i. 29. " Behold the Lamb of God, that taketh away the sin of the world/' The divine presence attended this discourse, and the assembly was considerably affected by it. After sermon, baptized two persons. Then administered the Lord's Supper to nearly forty communicants of the Indians, besides several Chris tians of the white people. It seemed to be a season of divine power and grace, and numbers appeared to rejoice in God. Oh the sweet union and harmony then prevailing among believers ! My soul was re freshed, and my religious friends of the white people with me. After the sacrament, could scarcely get home, though it was not more than twenty roods ; but was supported and led by my friends, and laid on my bed. I lay in pain till some time in the even ing, and then was able to sit up and discourse with friends. Oh how was this day spent in prayers and praises among my dear people ! One might hear them all the morning before public worship, and in the evening till near midnight, praying and singing praises to God, in one or other of their houses. My soul was refreshed, though my body was weak.
'Saturday, Oct. 11. Towards night was seized with an ague, which was followed with a high fever, and considerable pain. Was treated with great kind ness, and was ashamed to see so much concern about so unworthy a creature as I knew myself to be. Was in a comfortable frame of mind, wholly submissive with regard to life or death. It was indeed a pecu liar satisfaction to me to think, that it was not my concern or business to determine whether I should live or die. I likewise felt satisfied while under this uncommon degree of disorder, being fully convinced
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of my weakness and inability to perform my work ; whereas at other times my mind was perplexed with fears, that I was allowing a loss of time, by imagining I was sick when I was not in reality so. Oh how precious is time, and how guilty it makes me feel, when I think I have trifled away and misimproved it, or neglected to fill up each part of it with duty, to the utmost of my ability and capacity.
* Lord's-day, Oct. 19. Unable to do any thing the past week, except that on Thursday I rode out about four miles ; at which time I took cold. As I was able to do little or nothing, so I did not enjoy much spirituality. I longed indeed to be more fruitful and full of heavenly affection, and was grieved to see the hours slide away, while I could do nothing for God. Was enabled this week to attend public worship. Was composed and comfortable, willing either to die or live ; but found it hard to be recon ciled to the thoughts of living useless. Oh that I might never live to be a burden to God's creation ; but that I might be allowed to repair home, when my sojourn here is ended, and my work is done !
* Friday, Oct. 24. Spent the day in overseeing and directing my people, about mending their fence and securing their wheat. Found that all their con cerns of a secular nature depended upon me. Was somewhat refreshed in the evening, having been able to do something valuable in the day-time. Oh how it pains me to see time pass away, when I can do nothing to any purpose !
' Saturday, Oct. 25. Visited some of my people ; spent time in writing, and felt much better in body than usual. When it was near night, I felt so well that I had thoughts of expounding : but in the even-
FOURTH YEAR OF HIS MISSION. 317
ing was much disordered again, and spent the night in coughing and spitting of blood.
' Lord's-day, Oct. 26. In the morning, was ex ceedingly weak : spent the day, till near night, in pain to see rny poor people wandering " as sheep having no shepherd," waiting and hoping to see me able to preach to them before night. It could not but distress me to see them in this case, and to find myself unable to attempt any thing for their spiritual benefit. But towards night, finding myself a little better, I called them together to my house, and sat down, and read and expounded Matt. v. 1 — 16. This discourse, though delivered in much weakness, was attended with power to many of the hearers, especially what was spoken upon the last of these verses ; where I insisted on the infinite wrong done to religion, by having our light become darkness, instead of " shining before men." As many in the congregation were now deeply affected with a sense of their deficiency, in regard to a spiritual conver sation that might recommend religion to others, so also a spirit of concern and watchfulness seemed to be excited in them. One in particular, who had fallen into the sin of drunkenness some time before, was now deeply convinced of his sin, and the great dishonour done to religion by his misconduct, and discovered a great degree of grief and concern on that account. My soul was refreshed to see this. And though I had no strength to speak so much as I would have done, but was obliged to lie down on the bed ; yet I rejoiced to see such an humble melting in the congregation, and that divine truth, though faintly delivered, was attended with so much efficacy upon the people.
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' Monday, Oct. 27. Spent the day in overseeing and directing the Indians, about mending the fence round their wheat: was able to walk with them, and contrive their business all the forenoon. In the afternoon, was visited by two dear friends, and spent some time in conversation with them. Towards night, was able to walk out, and take care of the Indians again. In the evening, enjoyed a very peaceful frame.
' Tuesday, Oct. 28. llode to Prince-town in a very weak state ; had such a violent fever by the way, that I was forced to alight at a friend's house, and lie down for some time. Near night was visited by Mr. Treat, Mr. Beattie and his wife, and another friend. My spirits were refreshed to see them ; but I was surprised, and even ashamed, that they had taken so much pains as to ride thirty or forty miles to see me. Was able to sit up most of the evening, and spent the time in a very comfortable manner with my friends.
' Wednesday, Oct. 29. Rode about ten miles with my friends who came yesterday to see me ; and then parted with them all but one, who stayed on purpose to keep me company and cheer my spirits. Was very weak and feverish, especially towards night; but enjoyed comfort and satisfaction/
The habitual state of his mind, during this sen sible but gradual approach of death, is displayed in the following passage: —
4 I was sometimes scarcely able to walk, and never able to sit up the whole day — was calm and com posed, and but little exercised with melancholy damps, as in former seasons of weakness. Whether I should recover or not, seemed very doubtful ; but
FOURTH YEAR OF HIS MISSION. 319
it was many times a comfort to me, that life and death did not depend on my choice. I was pleased to think, that he, who is infinitely wise, had the determination of this matter ; and that I had no trouble to consider and weigh things on all sides, in order to make the choice, whether I would live or die. Thus my time was consumed. I had little strength to pray, none to write or read, and scarcely any to meditate : but, through divine goodness, I could, with great composure, look death in the face, and frequently with sensible joy. Oh, how blessed it is, to be habitually prepared for death ! The Lord grant that I may be actually ready also ! '
At the beginning of November, finding himself entirely incapable of his public duty, and having little hope of recovery, except from horse-exercise, he set out on a rather long journey into New England, on a visit to his friends in that state, whom he had not seen for a considerable time.
' Before I left my people (he says), I visited them all, in their respective houses ; and discoursed to each one as I thought most proper and suitable for their circumstances, and found great freedom in so doing. I scarcely left one house but some were in tears ; and many were not only affected with my being about to leave them, but with the solemn ad dresses which I made them on divine things; for I was enabled to be fervent in spirit, while I discoursed to them. When I had thus gone through my con gregation, which took me most of the day, and had taken leave of them and of the school, I left home, and rode about two miles, to the house where I lived in the summer past, and there lodged. Was re freshed, this evening, in that I had left my congrega-
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tion so well disposed and affected, and that I had been so much assisted in making my farewell ad dresses to them.'
On this journey he set forward on the 4th of No vember, but was stopped, the next day, by illness, at Elizabeth Town. Here he was confined nearly four months. Having been so long hindered, within but a short distance from his flock, from prosecuting his journey into New England, he wished once more to visit them. Setting out accordingly, on the 17th of March, he reached home the next day. On the 20th he again took leave of them, and the next day reached Elizabeth Town.
This proved to be the last interview he ever had with his people. On the Sunday before he left them in November, he speaks of them with affectionate anxiety :
' I was unable to preach, and scarcely able to sit up, the whole day. Was grieved, and almost sunk, to see my poor people destitute of the means of grace; especially considering that they could not read, and so were under great disadvantages for spending the Sabbath comfortably. Oh, methought, I could be contented to be sick, if my poor flock had a faithful pastor to feed them with spiritual knowledge ! A view of their want of this was more afflictive to me than all my bodily illness.'
During his confinement at Elizabeth Town, they lay much on his heart. In reference to them, he says —
* I frequently enjoyed freedom and enlargement of soul in prayer, and was enabled to intercede with God for my dear congregation ; very often for every family, and every person, in particular : and it was
FOURTH YEAR OF HIS MISSION. 321
often a great comfort to me, that I could pray heartily to God for those to whom I could not speak, and whom I was not allowed to see. But, at other times, my spirits were so flat and low, and my bodily vigour so much wasted, that I had scarce any affec tions at all/
A short time before he was sufficiently recovered to pay them the visit which proved to be his last, he writes : —
* Feb. 28, 1747. I was visited by an Indian of my own congregation, who brought me letters and good news of the sober and good behaviour of my people in general. This refreshed my soul. I could not but soon retire, and bless God for his goodness ; and found, I trust, a truly thankful frame of spirit that God seemed to be building up that congregation for himself/
Though frequently depressed in his spirits, through great weakness, his habitual state of mind was very- much as he describes it in the following letter, written, about three months after his arrival at Eliza beth Town, to his brother Israel, then a student at Yale College.
* Elisabeth Town, New Jersey, Nov. 24, 1746.
* Dear Brother — I had determined to make you, and my other friends in New England, a visit this fall ; partly from the earnest desire which I had to see you and them, and partly with a view to the re covery of my health, which has, for more than three months past been much impaired. And, in order to prosecute this design, I set out from my own people about three weeks ago, and came as far as to this place ; where, my disorder greatly increasing, I have
Y
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been obliged to keep house ever since, until the day before yesterday ; at which time I was able to ride about half a mile, but found myself much tired with the journey. I have now no hopes of prosecuting my journey into New England this winter, supposing my present state of health will by no means admit of it. Although I am, through divine goodness, much better than I was some days ago, yet I have no strength to ride more than ten miles a day, if the season were warm, and fit for me to travel in. My disorder has been attended with several symptoms of consumption ; and I have been at times apprehen sive that my great change was at hand : yet, blessed be God! I have never been affrighted ; but, on the contrary, at some times much delighted with a view of its approach. Oh! the blessedness of being deli vered from the clogs of flesh and sense, from a body of sin and spiritual death ! Oh ! the unspeakable sweetness of being translated into a state of com plete purity and perfection ! Believe me, my brother, a lively view and hope of these things will make the king of terrors himself appear agreeable. Dear brother, let me entreat you to keep eternity in your view, and behave yourself as becomes one that must shortly " give an account of all things done in the body." That God may be your God, and prepare you for his service here and his kingdom of glory here after, is the desire and daily prayer of
' Your affectionate and loving brother,
* DAVID BRAINERD/
.
At Elizabeth Town he staid till the 21st of April ; having closed, on the preceding day, the twenty- ninth year of his age and the fourth of his ministry.
FOURTH YEAR OF HIS MISSION. 323
On the 21st, after his long detention of nearly six months, he set forward on his journey to New England.
He had been entertained, during the past winter, in the most affectionate manner, in the house of the Rev. Jonathan Dickinson, pastor of the church in Elizabeth Town, President of the college of New Jersey, and one of the correspondents of the Society in Scotland for Propagating Christian Knowledge, who had a great esteem for Brainerd. In the be ginning of April, Brainerd had the happiness to unite his friend in marriage ; but this union was of short duration, as Mr. Dickinson died, in the ensuing October, after a short illness, two days before Brainerd.
The correspondents had sent for Mr. John Brainerd to take charge of his brother's Indian congregation. The brothers met at Elizabeth Town ; and David, after much conference with his brother, had the satisfaction to entrust his people to his care, before he set forward to New England. Mr. John Brainerd continued in this charge till his brother's death ; and, after that event, was ordained his successor in his mission.
Y 2
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CHAPTER VIII.
His last Sickness and Death.
BRAINERD left New Jersey, as we before stated, on the 21st of April, 1747 ; on which day he entered on the thirtieth year of his age, and the fifth of his ministry. This was his last year. He did not live quite half through it; resigning his soul to Him whom he supremely loved, on the 9th of October following.
We shall trace, in the present chapter, the chief circumstances that marked his descent to the grave through the last six months of his life.
At the end of May, Brainerd reached the house of his friend and biographer, President Edwards, at Northampton, in New England. He was, at this time, better than he had been in the winter; was able to ride five-and-twenty miles in a day, and to walk half a mile ; and appeared cheerful, and free from melancholy, but in a confirmed and incurable consumption.
Mr. Edwards, on this occasion, draws the following striking picture of him : —
* I had had much opportunity, before this, of parti cular information concerning him, from many that
HIS LAST SICKNESS AND DEATH. 325
were well acquainted with him ; and had myself once an opportunity of considerable conversation and some acquaintance with him at Newhaven, near four years before, at the time of the commencement when he offered that confession to the rector of the college which has been already mentioned in this history ; I being one whom he was then pleased to consult several times on that affair: but now I had opportunity for a more full acquaintance with him.
' I found him remarkably sociable, pleasant, and entertaining in his conversation ; yet solid, savoury, spiritual, and very profitable: appearing meek, mo dest, and humble; far from any stiffness, moroseness, superstitious demureness, or affected singularity in speech or behaviour, and seeming to nauseate all such things. We not only enjoyed the benefit of his conversation, but had also the comfort and advantage of hearing him pray in the family, from time to time. His manner of praying was very agreeable ; most becoming a worm of the dust and disciple of Christ, addressing an infinitely great and holy God and Father of Mercies; not with florid expressions, or a studied eloquence; not with any intemperate vehe mence, or indecent boldness; at the greatest distance from any appearance of ostentation, and from every thing that might look as though he meant to recom mend himself to those that were about him, or set himself off to their acceptance ; free, too, from vain repetitions, without impertinent excursions, or need less multiplying of words. He expressed himself with the strictest propriety, with weight and pungency ; and yet what his lips uttered seemed to be from the fulness of his heart, as deeply impressed with a great and solemn sense of our necessities, unworthiness.
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and dependence, and of God's infinite greatness, excellency, and sufficiency, rather than merely from a warm and fruitful brain, pouring out good expres sions. And I know not that ever I heard him ask a blessing or return thanks at table, but there was something remarkable to be observed both in the matter and manner of the performance. In his prayers, he dwelt much on the prosperity of Zion, the advancement of Christ's kingdom in the world, and the extension and propagation of religion among the Indians. And he generally made it one petition in his prayer, ' that we might not outlive our usefulness/'
He was advised to ride as much as his strength would bear; and, in consequence, set forward, on the 9th of June, on a visit to Boston, which he reached on the 12th. He staid there about six weeks, and arrived again at Northampton on the 25th of July.
On this journey he was accompanied by a daughter of Mr. Edwards, who counted it an honour and pri vilege to administer to the comfort of a dying servant of God.
At Boston he writes : —
* I was taken exceedingly ill, and brought to the gates of death, by the breaking of small ulcers in my lungs, as my physician supposed. In this ex tremely weak state I continued for several weeks ; and was frequently reduced so low, as to be utterly speechless, and not able so much as to whisper a word ; and, even after I had so far revived as to walk about the house and to step out of doors, I was exer cised every day with a faintness, which continued usually four or five hours ; at which times, though I
HIS LAST SICKNESS AND DEATH. 327
was not utterly speechless, yet I could not converse at all, nor speak one sentence, without making stops for breath ; and, divers times in this season, my friends gathered round my bed, to see me breathe my last, which they looked for every moment, as I myself also did/
The season of this severe attack was one of great instruction and comfort to his mind,
' How I was, the first day or two of my illness, with regard to the exercise of reason, I scarcely know ; but I believe I was something shattered with the violence of the fever, at times ; but the third day of my illness, and constantly afterwards, for four or five weeks together, I enjoyed as much serenity of mind and clearness of thought, as perhaps I ever did in my life ; and I think my mind never penetrated with so much ease and freedom into divine things, as at this time ; and I never felt so capable of de monstrating the truth of many important doctrines of the gospel as now. And as I saw clearly the truth of those great doctrines, which are justly styled the doctrines of grace ; so I saw, with no less clear ness, that the essence of true religion consists in the soul's conformity to God, and acting above all selfish views, for his glory, longing to be for him, to live to him, to please and honour him in all things ; and this from a clear view of his infinite ex cellency and worthiness in himself, to be loved, adored, worshipped, and served by all intelligent creatures.'
' Thus I saw, that when a soul loves God with a supreme love, he therein acts like the blessed God himself, who most justly loves himself in that man ner: so when God's interest and his are become
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one, and he longs that God should be glorified, and rejoices to think that he is unchangeably possessed of the highest glory and blessedness, herein also he acts in conformity to God: in like manner, when the soul is fully resigned to, and rests satisfied and con tented with, the divine will, here it is also conformed to God,
* I saw further, that as this divine temper by which the soul exalts God, and treads self in the dust, is the effect of God's discovering his own glorious per fections " in the face of Jesus Christ," by the special influences of the Holy Spirit, so he cannot but have regard to it as his own work ; and as it is his image in the soul, he cannot but take delight in it. Then I saw again, that if God should slight and reject his own moral image, he must needs deny himself; which he cannot do. And thus I saw the stability and in fallibility of this religion, and that those who are truly possessed of it have the most complete "and satisfying evidence of their being interested in all the benefits of Christ's redemption, having their hearts conformed to him ; and that these, and these only, are qualified for the employments and enter tainments of God's kingdom of glory. None but these have any relish for the business of heaven, which is to ascribe glory to God, and not to them selves; and that God (though I would speak it with great reverence of his name and perfections) cannot, without denying himself, finally cast such away.
' The next thing I had then to do was to inquire, whether this was my religion. Here God was pleased to help me to the most easy remembrance and critical review of what had passed, during several of the latter years of my life : and although I could discover
HIS LAST SICKNESS AND DEATH. 329
much corruption attending my best duties, many selfish views and carnal ends, much spiritual pride and self-exaltation, and innumerable other evils which compassed me about ; yet God was pleased, as I was reviewing1, quickly to put this question out of doubt, by showing me that I had, from time to time, acted above the utmost influence of mere self- love, and had longed to please and glorify him as my highest happiness. This review was, through grace, attended with a present feeling of the same divine temper of mind. I now felt pleased to think of the glory of God, and longed for heaven as a state wherein I might glorify him perfectly, rather than as a place of happiness for myself. This feeling of the love of God in my heart, which I trust the Holy Spirit excited in me afresh, was sufficient to give me full satisfaction, and make me long, as I had many times before done, to be with Christ.
' These things I saw with great clearness, when I was thought to be dying. And God gave me great concern for his church and interest in the world at this time, not so much because the late remarkable influence upon the minds of people was abated, and almost wholly gone, as because that false religion, those heats of imagination, and wild and selfish com motions of the animal affections, which attended the work of grace, had prevailed so far. This was what my mind dwelt upon almost day and night ; and this to me was the darkest appearance respecting reli gion in the land ; for it was this chiefly that had prejudiced the world against true religion. I ob served the great misery of all was, that so few saw any manner of difference between those exercises that were spiritual and holy, and those which
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have self-love only for their beginning, centre, and end.
Snch were his exercises of mind at this period. And his activity of spirit never forsook him. For several weeks together, during this severe illness, he was enabled to improve his time to valuable pur poses. He wrote many important letters to his friends; and could do this, at times, when he was unable to maintain any conversation. At other seasons, he received visits from many ministers and other eminent persons, who showed him the most marked respect. On these occasions, whenever his strength enabled him, he discoursed largely on the peculiar nature and distinguishing characters of vital religion, and bore his dying testimony against its various false appearances.
The heavenly frame of his mind, when in the near prospect of eternity, will be seen from the following extracts of some letters, written by him while at Boston.
To his brother Israel, a student at Yale College, he writes : —
' Boston, June 30M, 1747. ' My dear Brother,
' It is from the sides of eternity that I now address you, I am heartily sorry that I have so little strength to write what I long to communicate to you. But let me tell you, my brother, ETERNITY is another thing than we ordinarily take it to be, in a healthful state.
' I have been just dying, now for more than a week ; and all around have thought me so : but, in this time, I have had clear views of eternity ; have seen the blessedness of the godly, in some measure,
HIS LAST SICKNESS AND DEATH. 331
and have longed to share their happy state ; as well as be comfortably satisfied that, through grace, I shall do so.
' But, oh, what anguish is raised in my mind, to think of an eternity for those who are Christless, for those who are mistaken, and who bring their false hopes to the grave with them! The sight was so dreadful, that I could by no means bear it. My thoughts recoiled; and I said, (but under a more affecting sense than ever before) " Who can dwell with everlasting burnings?" Oh, methought, that I could now see my friends, that I might warn them to see to it, that they lay 'their foundation for eternity sure.
' And you, my dear brother, I have been particu larly concerned for: and have wondered that I so much neglected conversing with you about your spiritual state, at our last meeting. Oh, my brother, let me then beseech you now to examine, whether you are indeed a new creature ; whether you have ever acted above self; whether the glory of God has ever been the highest concern with you ; whether you have ever been reconciled to all the perfections of God ; in a word, whether God has been your por tion, and a holy conformity to him your chief delight. If you cannot answer positively, consider seriously the frequent breathings of your soul; but do not, however, put yourself off with a slight answer. If you have reason to think you are graceless, oh, give yourself and the throne of grace no rest, till God arise and save. But if the case should be otherwise, bless God for his grace, and press after holiness.
1 My soul longs that you should be fitted for, and in due time go into, the work of the Ministry. I
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cannot bear to think of your going into any other business in life. Do not be discouraged because you see your elder brothers in the ministry die early, one after another. I declare, now I am dying, I would not have spent my life otherwise for the whole world. But I must leave this with God.
i If these lines should come to your hands soon after the date, I should be almost desirous that you should set out on a journey to me. It may be you may see me alive, which I should much rejoice in : but if you cannot come, I must commit you to the grace of God, where you are. May He be your guide and counsellor, your sanctifier, and eternal portion !
* Oh, my dear brother, flee fleshly lusts, and the enchanting amusements, as well as corrupt doctrines, of the present day ; and strive to live to God. Take this as the last request from
' Your affectionate dying brother,
'DAVID BRAINERD/
To a young gentleman, a candidate for the work of the ministry, for whom he had a particular friend ship, Brainerd wrote as follows : —
' Very dear Sir,
* How amazing it is, that the living, who know that they must die, should, notwithstanding, "put far away the evil day," in a season of health and prosperity ; and Jive at such an awful distance from a familiarity with the grave, and the great concerns beyond it ! And especially it may justly fill us with surprise, that any, whose minds have been divinely enlightened to behold the important things of eter-
HIS LAST SICKNESS AND DEATH. 333
nity as they are, I say, that such should live in this manner.
4 And yet, Sir, how frequently is this the case ! How rare are the instances of those who live and act, from day to day, as on the verge of eternity, striving to fill up all their remaining moments in the service and to the honour of their great Master! We in sensibly trifle away time, while we seem to have enough of it; and are so strangely amused, as in a great measure to Jose a sense of the holiness and blessed qualifications necessary to prepare us to be inhabitants of the heavenly paradise. But, dear Sir, a dying bed, if we enjoy our reason clearly, will give another view of things.
* I have now, for more than three weeks, suffered under the greatest degree of weakness ; the greater part of the time expecting daily and hourly to enter into the eternal world : sometimes I have been so far gone as to be wholly speechless for some hours together. And, oh, of what vast importance has a holy and spiritual life appeared to me in this sea son ! I have longed to call upon all my friends to make it their business to live to God ; and especially all that are designed for, or engaged in, the service of the Sanctuary.
* O dear Sir, do not think it enough to live at the rate of common Christians. Alas, to how little purpose do they often converse, when they meet together ! The visits, even of those who are called Christians indeed, are frequently extremely barren; and conscience cannot but condemn us for the mis- improvement of time, while we have been conversant with them. But the way to enjoy the Divine Pre sence, and be fitted for distinguishing service for
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God, is to live a life of great devotion and constant self-dedication to him : observing- the motions and dispositions of our own hearts, whence we may learn the corruptions that lodge there, and our constant need of help from God for the performance of the least duty. Dear Sir, let me beseech you frequently to attend to the great and precious duties of private fasting and prayer.
* I have a secret thought, from some things which I have observed, that God may perhaps design you for some singular service in the world. Oh! then, labour to be prepared and qualified to do much for God. Read Mr. Edward's treatise on the Affections, again and again : and labour to distinguish clearly between experiences and affections in religion, that you may make a difference between the gold and the shining dross. I say, labour in this as ever you would be a useful minister of Christ ; for nothing has put such a stop to the work of God in these days, as the false religion, the wild affections, that attend it. Suffer me, therefore, finally, to entreat you earnestly to "give yourself to prayer, to reading and medita tion" on divine truths. Strive to penetrate to the bottom of them ; and never be content with a super ficial knowledge. By this means, your thoughts will gradually grow weighty and judicious ; and you hereby will be possessed of a valuable treasure, out of which you may produce " things new and old/' to the glory of God.
' And now, I commend you to the grace of God ; earnestly desiring, that a plentiful portion of the Divine Spirit may rest on you ; that you may live to God in every capacity of life, and do abundant service for Him in a public one, if it be His will ;
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and that you may be richly qualified for " the inhe ritance of the saints in glory/'
' I scarcely expect to see your face any more in the body ; and therefore intreat you to accept this as the last token of love from
' Your sincerely affectionate dying friend,
' DAVID BRAINERD.'
To his brother John, at Bethel, the town of his Christian Indians in New Jersey, he wrote likewise, on this solemn occasion.
' Dear Brother,
' I am now just on the verge of eternity, expecting very speedily to appear in the unseen world. I feel myself no more an inhabitant of earth, and sometimes earnestly long " to depart and be with Christ." I bless God that he has, for some years, given me an abiding conviction, that it is impossible for any rational creature to enjoy true happiness without being entirely devoted to him. Under the influence of this conviction, I have in some measure acted : Oh that I had done more so ! I saw both the excel lence and necessity of holiness in life ; but never in such a manner as now, when I am just brought to the sides of the grave. Oh, my brother, pursue after holiness : press toward the blessed mark ; and let your thirsty soul continually say, ' I shall never be satisfied till I awake in thy likeness/ Although there has been a great deal of selfishness in my views, of which I am ashamed, and for which my soul has been humbled ; yet, blessed be God, I find I have really had, for the most part, such a concern for His glory and the advancement of His kingdom
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in the world, that it is a satisfaction to me to reflect on these years.
* And now, ray dear brother, as I must press you to pursue after personal holiness, to be as much in fasting and prayer as your health will allow, and to live above the rate of common Christians ; so I must entreat you solemnly to attend to your public work. Labour to distinguish between true and false reli gion, and to that end, watch the motions of God's Spirit on your own heart : look to Him for help ; and impartially compare your experiences with His word/
After urging his brother to watch against false joys in religion, he adds —
k Set yourself to crush all appearances of this nature among the Indians, and never encourage any degree of heat without light. Charge my people, in the name of their DYING MINISTER, yea, in the name of " Him who was dead and is alive," to live and walk as becomes the gospel. Tell them, how great the expectations of God and His people are from them ; and how awfully they will wound God's cause, if they fall into vice, as well as fatally pre judice other poor Indians. Always insist, that their joys are delusive, although they may have been rapt into the third heavens in their own conceit by them, unless the main tenor of their lives be spiritual, watchful, and holy. In pressing these things, " thou shalt both save thyself and those that hear thee."
* God knows, I was heartily willing to serve Him longer in the work of the ministry, although it had still been attended with all the labours and hard ships of past years, if He had seen fit that it should be so : but as His will now appears otherwise, I am
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fully content ; and can, with the utmost freedom say, " The will of the Lord be done."
' It affects me to think of leaving you in a world of sin. My heart pities you, that those storms and tempests are yet before you, which I trust, through grace, I am almost delivered from. But God liveth, and blessed be my Rock ! He is the same Almighty Friend : and will, I trust, be your Guide and Helper, as He has been mine.
'And now, my dear brother, "I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and give you an inheritance among all them that are sanctified." May you enjoy the Di vine presence, both in private and public, and may " the arms of your hands be made strong, by the right hand of the mighty God of Jacob ! " Which are the passionate desires and prayers of
* Your affectionate dying brother,
1 DAVID BRAINERD/
After he began to revive from this attack, his bro ther Israel visited him from Yale College, according to his invitation ; and continued with him till he left Boston, and then accompanied him on his return to Northampton.
On Brainerd's return to Northampton, his strength gradually but sensibly failed.
Mr. Edwards says of him —
' After he came hither, as long as he lived, he was often speaking of that future prosperity of Zion that is so often foretold and promised in the scrip ture. It was a theme on which he delighted to dwell ; and his mind seemed to be carried forth with earnest concern and intense desires, that religion z
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might speedily and abundantly revive and flourish, though he had not the least expectation of recovery ; yea, the nearer death advanced, and the more the symptoms of its approach increased, still the more did his mind seem to be taken up with this subject. He told me, when near his end, that he never, in all his life, had his mind so led forth in desires and earnest prayers for the flourishing of Christ's king dom on earth, as since he was brought so exceedingly low at Boston. He seemed much to wonder that there appeared no more of a disposition in ministers and people to pray for the flourishing of religion through the world; and that so small a part of their prayers was generally taken up about it, in their families and elsewhere/
Of his unceasing activity of mind, even while thus rapidly dying, Mr. Edwards writes —
' Though he was constantly suffering from weakness, yet there appeared in him a continual care well to improve time, and fill it up with something that might be profitable, and in some respect for the glory of God or the good of men : either profitable conversation ; or writing letters to absent friends ; or noting some thing in his diary; or looking over his former writings, correcting them, and preparing them to be left in the hands of others at his death ; or giving some directions concerning a future conducting and management of his people ; or employment in secret devotions. He seemed never to be easy, however ill, if he was not doing something for God, or in his service.'
It is said of his last attendance on the public wor ship of the sabbath —
' In his diary for Lord's-day, August 16, he speaks
HIS LAST SICKNESS AND DEATH. 339
of his having so much refreshment of soul in the house of God, that it seemed to refresh his body also. And this is not only noted in his diary, but was very observable to others. It was very apparent, not only that his mind was exhilarated with inward consolation ; but also that his animal spirits and bodily strength seemed to be remarkably restored, as though he had forgotten his illness. But this was the last time that ever he attended public worship on the sabbath.'
The commissioners in Boston of the Society in London for the Propagation of the Gospel, had re quested Brainerd to recommend two persons as missionaries to the Six Nations. Having fully de liberated on this affair, he wrote a letter, about three weeks before his death, recommending two suitable persons to the commissioners. He also wrote to a charitable person in Boston, who had manifested a readiness to support schools among the Indians. He greatly exhausted his little remaining strength by these letters; but he rejoiced in this dying labour, as it was directed to the promotion of Christ's king dom in the world.
1 The 17th of September was the last time that ever he went out of his lodging-room. That day he was again visited by his brother Israel, who con tinued with him till his death. That evening he was taken with something of a diarrhea, which he looked upon as another sign of his approaching death. On this occasion he expressed himself thus: " Oh, the glorious time is now coming ! I have longed to serve God perfectly: now God will gratify those desires i " And from time to time, at the several steps and new symptoms of the nearer Za
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approach of his dissolution, he was so far from being- sunk or damped, that he seemed to be animated and more cheerful, as being glad at the appearance of death's approach. He often used the epithet glorious, when speaking of the day of his death, call ing it " that glorious day." And as he saw his dissolution gradually approaching, he talked much about it, dwelling with perfect calmness on the sub ject of a future state. He also settled all his affairs, very particularly and minutely giving directions con cerning what he would have done, in one respect and another, after he was dead. The nearer death approached, the more desirous he seemed to be of it. He several times spake of the different kinds of willingness to die; and spoke of it as an ignoble, mean kind of willingness to die, to be willing to leave the body only to get rid of pain, or to go to heaven, only to get honour and advancement there.
* Saturday, Sept. 19. Near night, while I attempted to walk a little, my thoughts turned thus : " How infinitely sweet it is to love God, and be all for him!" Upon this it was suggested to me, ' You are not an angel ; not lively and active.' To which my whole soul immediately replied, ' I as sincerely desire to love and glorify God, as any angel in heaven.' It was then suggested again, * But you are filthy, not fit for heaven.' Instantly appeared the blessed robes of Christ's righteousness, which I could not but exult and triumph in. I viewed the infinite excellency of God, till my soul even swelled with longings that he should be glorified. I thought of dignity in heaven ; but instantly the thought re turned, ' I do not go to heaven to get honour, but to
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give all possible glory and praise.' I longed for a spirit of preaching to descend and rest on ministers, that they might address the consciences of men with closeness and power. I saw that God " had the residue of the Spirit ; " and my soul longed it should be " poured from on high." I could not but plead with God for my dear congregation, that he would preserve it, and not suffer his great name to lose its glory in that work ; my soul still longing that God might be glorified/
' Lord's-day, Sept. 20. Was still in a sweet and comfortable frame ; again melted with desires that God might be glorified, and with longings to love and live to him. Longed for the influences of the divine Spirit to descend on ministers, in a special manner. And, oh ! I desired to be with God to behold his glory, and to bow in his presence ! '.
It appears from his diary, both of this day and the evening preceding, that his mind at this time was much impressed with a sense of the importance of the work of the ministry ; of the need of the grace of God, and his special spiritual assistance in this work. This also appeared in what he expressed in conversation, particularly in his discourse to his brother Israel, who was then a member of Yale College, at New Haven, and had been prosecuting his studies and academical exercises there, in order that he might be fitted for the work of the ministry.
' Thursday, Sept. 24. My strength began to fail exceedingly; this looked further as if I had done all my work. However, I had strength to fold and superscribe my letter. About two I went to bed, being weak and much disordered, and lay in a burn ing fever till night, without any proper rest. In the
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evening1 I got up, having lain down in some of my clothes ; but was in the greatest distress, having an uncommon kind of hiccough, which either strangled me, or threw me into a straining to vomit. Oh ! the distress of this evening ! I had little expectation of living the night through, nor indeed had any about me ; arid I longed for the finishing moment. — I was obliged to repair to bed by six o'clock ; and through mercy enjoyed some rest, but was grieviously dis tressed at times with the hiccough. My soul breathed after God, while the watcher was with me. When shall I come to God, even to God my exceeding joy? O for his blessed likeness !
' Saturday, Sept. 26. I felt the sweetness of divine things this forenoon, and had a consciousness that I was doing something for God.
' Lord's-day, Sept. 27. This was a very comfort able day to my soul ; 1 think I awoke with God. I was enabled to lift up my soul to him, early this morning; and while I had little bodily strength, I found freedom to lift up my heart to God for myself and others. Afterwards, was pleased with the thoughts of speedily entering into the unseen world/
Early this morning, as one of the family came into the room, he expressed himself thus : ' I have had more pleasure this morning, than all the drunkards in the world enjoy, if it were all ex tracted/ So much did he esteem the joys of faith above the pleasures of sin.
He felt that morning an unusual appetite to food, with which his mind seemed to be exhilarated, look ing on it as a sign of the very near approach to death. He remarked, ' I was born on a Sabbath-day, and have reason to think I was new-born on a Sabbath-
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day, and hope I shall die on this Sabbath-day. I shall look upon it as a favour, if it may be the will of God that it should be so : I long for the time. Oh, " why is his chariot so long in coming; why tarry the wheels- of his chariot? " I am very willing to part with all : 1 am willing to part with my dear brother John, and never to see him again, so that I may go to be for ever with the Lord. Oh, when I get there, how will the church on earth be upon my mind ! '
Afterwards, the same morning, being asked how he did; he answered, * I am almost in eternity: I long to be there. My work is done : I have done with all my friends : all the world is nothing to me. I long to be in heaven, praising and glorifying God, with the holy angels : all my desire is to glorify God/
During the whole of the last two weeks of his life, he seemed to continue in this frame ; loose from all the world, as having done his work, and done with all things here below; having nothing to do but to die, and abiding in an earnest desire and expectation of the happy moment, when his soul shall take its flight, and go to a state of absolute perfection. He said, ' that the consideration of the day of death, and the day of judgment, had a long time been peculiarly sweet to him.' He frequently spake of his being willing to leave the body and the world immediately, that day, that night, and that moment, if it was the will of God. He also expressed his longings that the church of Christ on earth might flourish, and that his kingdom might be advanced, notwithstanding he was about to leave the earth, and should not with his eyes behold the desirable event, nor be instrumental in promoting it. He said to me one morning, as I came into the room, ' My thoughts have been em-
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ployed on the old dear theme, the prosperity of God's church on earth. As I waked out of sleep, I was led to cry for the pouring out of God's Spirit, and the advancement of Christ's kingdom, which the dear Redeemer did and suffered so much for. It is that which especially makes me long for it.' He expressed much hope that a glorious advancement of Christ's kingdom was near at hand.
He once told me that ' he had formerly longed for the outpouring of the Spirit of God, and the gloriou* times of the church, and hoped they were coming; and should have been willing to have lived to pro mote religion at that time, if that had been the will of God ; but, says he, 'I am willing it should be as it is. I would not have the choice to make for myself, for ten thousand worlds/ He expressed on his death-bed a full persuasion that he should in heaven see the prosperity of the church on earth, and should rejoice with Christ therein; and the consideration of it seemed to be highly pleasing and satisfying to his mind.
He also still dwelt much on the great importance of the work of ministers of the gospel, and expressed his longings that they might be filled with the Spirit of God. He manifested much desire to see some of the neighbouring ministers, with whom he was acquainted, and whose sincere friendship he enjoyed, that he might converse freely with them on that subject before he died. And it so happened that he had opportunity of speaking with some of them, according to his desire.
Another thing that lay much on his heart, and which he often mentioned in these near approaches to death, was, the spiritual prosperity of his own con-
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gregation of Christian Indians in New Jersey. When he spake of them, it was with peculiar tenderness ; so that his speech would be frequently interrupted and drowned with tears.
He also expressed much satisfaction in the dis posals of Providence with regard to the circumstances of his death ; particularly that God had, before his death, given him the opportunity he had had at Bos ton, with so many considerable persons, ministers, and others, to give his testimony for God, and against false religion, and the many mistakes that lead to it and promote it ; and there to lay before pious and charitable gentlemen, the state of the Indians, and their necessities, to so good effect. Also, that God had since given him opportunity to write to them further concerning these affairs, and to write other letters of importance, which he hoped might have some influence on the state of religion among the Indians and elsewhere, after his death. He expressed great thankfulness to God for his mercy in these things. He also mentioned it as what he accounted a merciful circumstance of his death, that he should die here. Speaking of these things, he said, ' God had granted him all his desire ; ' and signified that now he could with the greater alacrity leave the world.
On the 28th of September he was supposed to be dying. He thought so himself, and rejoiced in the apparently near approach of dissolution. He was almost speechless, but his lips seemed to move. One who sat very near him, heard him utter such expressions as these : " Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly. — Oh why is his chariot so long in coming ! " After he revived, he blamed himself for having
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been too eager to be gone. He found in the frame of his mind, at that time, an inexpressible love to those whom he looked on as belonging to Christ, beyond almost all that he had ever felt before; so that it * seemed/ to use his own words, ' like a little piece of heaven to have one of them near to him.' Being asked, whether he heard the prayer that was at his desire made with him, he said that he had heard every word, and had had an uncommon sense of the things that were uttered in that prayer, and that every word reached his heart.
On the evening of the next day, Tuesday, Sept. 29, as he lay in his bed, he seemed to be in an extra ordinary frame ; his mind greatly engaged in medi tations concerning the prosperity of Zion. Two young men, candidates for the ministry, being pre sent, he desired all to unite in singing a psalm on the prosperity of Zion. A part of the 102d Psalm was accordingly sung. This seemed greatly to revive him, and gave him new strength ; so that, though before he could scarcely speak at all, he now pro ceeded, with some freedom of speech, to give his dying counsels to those two young men, relative to their preparation for the great work of the ministry, and their prosecution of that work ; and, with pe culiar earnestness, he recommended to them frequent secret fasting and prayer ; and enforced his counsel therein, from his own experience of the great comfort and benefit of it ; * which/ said he, ' I should not mention, were it not that I am a dying person.' After he had finished his counsel, he made a prayer, in the audience of all ; wherein, beside praying for the family in which he was, for his brethren and those candidates for the ministry, and for his own
HIS LAST SICKNESS AND DEATH. 347
congregation, he earnestly prayed for the reviving and flourishing of religion in the world.
He had, at times, peculiar elevation of mind. At such seasons, his mouth spake out of the abundance of his heart. Among many devout and heavenly expressions which fell from him, on one occasion of this kind about a fortnight before his death, his bio grapher has recorded the following : —
4 My heaven is, to please God and glorify him, and to give all to him, and to be wholly devoted to his glory: that is the heaven which I long for; that is my religion, and that is my happiness, and always was, ever since I knew any thing of true religion ; and all those that are of that religion shall meet me in heaven. I do not go to heaven to be advanced ; but to give honour to God. It is no matter where I shall be stationed in heaven, whether I have a high or low seat there ; but to love, and please, and glorify God, is all. Had I a thousand souls, if they were worth any thing, I would give them all to God ; but I have nothing to give when all is done. It is impos sible for any rational creature to be happy without acting all for God: God himself could not make him happy any other way. I long to be in heaven, praising and glorifying God with the holy angels : all my desire is to glorify God. My heart goes out to the burying-place : it seems to me a desirable place; but, Oh! to glorify God! that is it; that is above all. It is a great comfort to me, to think that I have done a little for God in the world : Oh ! it is but a very small matter ; yet I have done a little ; and I lament that I have not done more for Him. — There is nothing in the world worth living for, but doing good, and finishing God's work ; doing the
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work that Christ did. I see nothing else in the world that can yield any satisfaction, besides living to God, pleasing him, and doing his whole will. — My greatest joy and comfort has been to do some thing for promoting the interest of religion, and the souls of particular persons ; and now, in my illness, while I am full of pain and distress from day to day, all the comfort I have, is in being able to do some little for God ; either by something that I say, or by writing, or by some other way.'
Mr. Edwards adds : —
' He intermingled with these and other like expres sions, many pathetical counsels to those that were about him, particularly to my children and servants. He applied himself to some of my younger children at this time ; calling them to him, and speaking to them one by one; setting before them, in a very plain manner, the nature and essence of true piety, and its great importance and necessity ; earnestly warning them not to rest in any thing short of a true and thorough change of heart, and a life devoted to God; counselling them not to be slack in the great business of religion, nor in the least to delay it: enforcing his counsels with this, that his words were the words of a dying man. Said he, ' I shall die here, and here I shall be buried, and here you will see my grave ; and do you remember what I have said to you. I am going into eternity ; and it is sweet for me to think of eternity : the endlessness of it makes it sweet ! But, oh, what shall I say to the eternity of the wicked ! I cannot mention it, nor think of it: the thought is too dreadful. When you see my grave, then remember what I said to you while I was alive : then think with yourself, ' How
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that man, that lies in that grave, counselled and warned me to prepare for death ! '
' His body seemed marvellously strengthened, through the inward vigour and refreshment of his mind ; so that, although before he was so weak that he could hardly utter a sentence, yet now he conti nued his most affecting and profitable discourse to us for more than an hour, with scarcely any intermis sion ; and said of it, when he had done, that it was the last sermon that ever he should preach.'
His brother Israel was now with him, and con tinued with him till his death. Of his conversation with him, it is said ; —
4 In this his dying state, he recommended to his brother a life of self-denial, of weanedness from the world, and devotedness to God, and an earnest en deavour to obtain much of the grace of God's Spirit, and of his gracious influences on his heart ; repre senting the great need which ministers stand in of them, and the unspeakable benefit of them from his own experience. Among many other expressions, he said thus : ' When ministers feel these special gracious influences on their hearts, it wonderfully assists them to come at the consciences of men ; and, as it were, to handle them with hands ; whereas, without them, whatever reason or oratory we make use of, we do but make use of stumps, instead of hands/
This young man did not long survive his brother. He gave good hope of becoming a great blessing in his day ; but it pleased God to take him away about three months after his brother.
Another of the attendants on his death-bed soon followed him to heaven. Mr. Edwards' daughter,
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whose attention to him was unremitting, died about four months after him, in the eighteenth year of her age. Her father gives her a most elevated character: — * She was a person of much the same spirit with Mr. Brainerd. She had constantly attended him in his sickness, for nineteen weeks before his death : devoting herself to it with great delight, because she looked upon him as an eminent servant of Jesus Christ. In this time he had much conversation with her on the things of religion ; and, in his dying state, often expressed to us, her parents, his great satisfac tion concerning her true piety and his confidence of meeting her in heaven ; and his opinion of her, not only as a true Christian, but as a very eminent saint. She had manifested a heart uncommonly devoted to God, in the course of her life, many years before her death ; and said on her death-bed, that she had not seen one minute, for several years, wherein she desired to live one minute longer, for the sake of any other thing in life, but doing good, living to God, and doing what she might be able, for his glory.'
The last entry in Brainerd's diary, in his own hand, was the following : —
' Sept 25, 1747. This day I was unspeakably weak, and little better than speechless all the day. However, I was able to write a little. Oh, it re freshed my soul to think of former things, of desires to glorify God, of the pleasures of living to him : O my God, I am speedily coming to Thee, I hope ! Hasten the day, O Lord, if it be thy blessed will. Oh come, Lord Jesus, come quickly! Amen.'
His diary was continued a little further, as will be seen by the extracts we have already made, though
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in a broken manner, written by his brother Israel, but indited by himself. The last entry thus made in it here follows : —
' Oct 2. My soul was, this day, at turns sweetly set on God. I longed to be with him, that I might behold his glory. I felt sweetly disposed to commit all to him ; even my dearest friends, my dearest flock, my absent brother, and all my concerns for time and eternity. Oh that his kingdom might come in the world ; that all might love and glorify him, for what he is in himself; that the blessed Redeemer might " see of the travail of his soul and be satisfied ! " Oh " come, Lord Jesus, come quickly ! Amen."
The day before his death he was much refreshed by the arrival of his brother John, whom he most affectionately loved, and whom he had been anxiously expecting. His brother had spent a week with him in the beginning of September, and had revived him with happy intelligence respecting his Indians. Business of necessity having called Mr. John Brai- nerd back to New Jersey, he now returned, (having been unavoidably detained longer than he intended,) in time to close his brother's eyes.
On the morning of the next day, being Lord's- day, October 4, as Mr. Edwards' daughter Jerusha (who chiefly tended him) came into the room, he looked on her very pleasantly, and said, ' Dear Jerusha, are you willing to part with me?— I am quite willing to part with you : I am willing to part with all my friends : I am willing to part with my dear brother John, although I love him the best of any creature living. I have committed him and all my friends to God, and can leave them with him. Though, if I thought I should not see you, and be
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happy with you in another world, I could not bear to part with you. But we shall spend a happy eter nity together.' In the evening, as one came into the room with a Bible in her hand, he expressed himself thus : ' Oh that dear book ; that lovely book ! I shall soon' see it opened: the mysteries that are in it, .and the mysteries of God's providence, will be all unfolded.'
His distemper now very apparently preyed on his vitals, not by a sudden breaking of ulcers on his lungs, as at Boston, but by a constant discharge of purulent matter in great quantities ; so that what he brought up by expectoration seemed to be as it were mouthfuls of almost clear pus, attended with great inward pain and distress.
On Thursday, Oct. 6, he lay for a considerable time as if he were dying. He was then heard to utter, in broken whispers, such expressions as these: ' He will come, he will not tarry — I shall soon be in glory — I shall soon glorify God with the angels/ — But after some time he revived.
The next day, Wednesday, Oct. 7, his brother John arrived, having been detained much longer than he intended, by a mortal sickness prevailing among the Christian Indians, and by some other things in their circumstances that made his stay with them neces sary. Mr. Brainerd was affected and refreshed with seeing him, and appeared fully satisfied with the reasons of his delay ; seeing the interest of religion and of the souls of his people required it.
The final scene now drew near.
' Thursday, Oct. 8.— He was in great distress and agony of body ; and, for the chief part of the day, was much disordered as to the exercise of his reason.
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In the evening, he was more composed, and had the use of his reason well ; but the pain of his body in creased. He told me it was impossible for any body to conceive the distress that he felt in his breast. He manifested much concern lest he should dishonour God by impatience, under his extreme agony; which was such, that, he said, the thought of enduring it one minute longer was almost insupportable. He de sired that others would be constant in lifting up their hearts continually to God for him, that God would support him, and give him patience. He signified that he expected to die that night; but seemed to fear a long delay : and the disposition of his mind, with regard to death, appeared still the same that it had been all along. Notwithstanding his bodily agonies, yet the interest of Zion lay still with great weight upon his mind ; as appeared by some consi derable discourse he had that evening with the Rev. Mr. Billing, one of the neighbouring ministers (who was then present), concerning the great importance of the work of the ministry: and, afterward, when it was very late in the night, he had much very proper and profitable discourse with his brother John, con cerning his congregation in New Jersey, and the interest of religion among the Indians. In the latter part of the night, his bodily distress seemed to rise to a greater height than ever ; and he said to those then about him, that it was another thing to die than people imagined ; explaining himself to mean, that they were not aware what bodily anguish is under gone before death. Toward day, his eyes fixed; and he continued immoveable, till about six o'clock in the morning, and then expired, on Friday, October 9, 1747 ; when his soul, as we may well conclude, was
2 A
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received by his dear Lord and Master, as an emi nently faithful servant, into the state of perfection of holiness, and fruition of God, which he had so often and so ardently longed for ; and was welcomed by the glorious assembly in the upper world, as one peculiarly fitted to join them in their blessed em ployments and joy.
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CHAPTER IX.
Concluding Remarks.
WE shall now bring to a close our account of this eminent man. In the whole of the preceding narra tive, we have digested in regular order all the most important sentiments and incidents which occur, in a very disjointed manner, and with much redun dancy of expression, in the volume published by President Edwards.
At the end of Brainerd's Journal, he made some general remarks, in addition to others which he had occasionally introduced in the Journal and which we have printed, on the great work of which he had been the instrument among the Indians. He sub joined also an Appendix, in which he enters at large into his method of instructing the Indians, with the difficulties attending the work of a Missionary among them.
From these two pieces we shall digest the most important passages, under the following heads : — the Difficulties attending the work of a Missionary among the Indians, with his Methods of surmounting them — his System of Christian Instruction — and the Success which it pleased God to grant to his labours.
2 A 2
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THE DIFFICULTIES OF HIS WORK.
On these difficulties he dwells at some length, at the request of the Society under which he acted. Many of them were local and peculiar, and others such as are common to all faithful labourers in the vineyard of the Lord, particularly among the Heathen.
1. From the aversion of the Indians to Christianity. — They are not only stupid, and ignorant of divine things, but many of them are obstinately set against Christianity, and seem to abhor even the Christian name. This aversion to Christianity arises partly from a view of the immorality and vicious behaviour of many who are called Christians.
On this melancholy subject Brainerd enlarges; and then adds —
' The only way which I have to take, in order to surmount this difficulty, is to distinguish between nominal and real Christians : and to shew them, that the ill conduct of many of the former proceeds, not from their being Christians, but from their being Christians only in name, not in heart.
; Another thing that serves to make them more averse to Christianity, is, a fear of being enslaved. They are, perhaps, some of the most jealous people living, and extremely averse tp a state of servitude, and hence are always afraid of some design against their liberty. Besides, they seem to have no senti ments of generosity, benevolence, and goodness ; so that if any thing be proposed to them as being for their good, they are ready rather to suspect that there is at bottom some design formed against them, than that such proposals flow from good-will to
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them, and a desire of their welfare: they have thus oftentimes misconstrued all the kindness that I could shew them, and the hardships which I have endured to treat with them about Christianity. " He never would," say they, " take all this pains to do us good. He must have some wicked design to hurt us, some way or other." And to give them assurance of the contrary, is not an easy matter, while there are so many who (agreeably to their apprehension) are only seeking their own, not the yood of others.
1 To remove this difficulty, I inform them that I am not sent out among them by those persons, in these provinces, who they suppose have cheated them out of their lands ; but by pious people at a great dis tance, who never had an inch of their lands, nor ever thought of doing them any hurt. But here will arise so many frivolous and impertinent questions, that it would tire one's patience and wear out one's spirits, to hear them ; such as that, " But why did not these good people send you to teach us before, while we had our lands down by the sea-side? &c. If they had sent you then, we should probably have heard you, and turned Christians : " the poor creatures still imagining, that I should be much beholden to them, in case they would hearken to Christianity : and insinuating, that this was a favour which they could not now be so good as to shew me, seeing they had received so many injuries from the white people.
' Another spring of aversion to Christianity in the Indians, is, their strong attachment to their own religious notions, and the early prejudices which they have imbibed for their own frantic and ridicu lous sort of worship/
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After enlarging on these notions and prejudices, Brainerd observes —
* It will be too tedious to give any considerable account of the methods which I make use of for surmounting this difficulty. I will just say, that I endeavour, as much as possible, to shew them the inconsistency of their own notions, and so to con found them out of their own mouths. But I must also say, that I have sometimes been almost nonplused with them, and scarce knew what to answer ; but never have been more perplexed with them than when they have pretended to yield to me, as knowing more than they, and consequently have asked me numbers of difficult questions; as, " How the Indians came first into this part of the world, away from all the white people, if what I said was true?" viz. that the same God made them who made us — " How the Indians became black, if they had the same original parents with the white people?" — and numbers more of the like nature.
' What further contributes to their aversion to Christianity is, the influence that their powaws (con jurers or diviners) have upon them. These are a sort of persons who are supposed to have a power of foretelling future events ; of recovering the sick, at least oftentimes; and of charming, enchanting, or poisoning persons to death by their magic divi nations.
' I have laboured to gain some acquaintance with this affair of their conjuration : and have, for that end, consulted with the man mentioned in my Journal of May 9 ; who, since his conversion to Christianity, has endeavoured to give me the best intelligence that he could of this matter. But it seems to be such a
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mystery of iniquity, that I cannot well understand it. My interpreter tells me, that he heard one of them tell a certain Indian the secret thoughts of his heart, which he had never divulged. The case was this : the Indian was bitten with a snake, and was in extreme pain from the bite ; whereupon the diviner (who was applied to for his recovery) told him, that such a time he had promised that the next deer which he killed he would sacrifice to some great Power, but had broken his promise : " And now," said he, " that great Power has ordered this snake to bite you for your neglect." The Indian confessed that it was so : but said, he had never told any body of it. But, as Satan no doubt excited the In dian to make that promise, it was no wonder he should be able to communicate the matter to the conjurer. These things serve to fix them down in their idolatry, and to make them believe there is no safety to be expected, but by their continuing to offer such sacrifices. And the influence that these powaws have upon them, either through the esteem or the fear which they have of them, is no small hindrance to their embracing Christianity.
' To remove this difficulty, I have laboured to shew the Indians, that these diviners have no power to recover the sick, when the God whom Christians serve has determined them for death ; and that the supposed great Power who influences these diviners has himself no power in this case ; and that if they seem to recover them by their magic charms, they are only such as the God whom I preached to them had determined should recover, and who would have recovered without their conjurations. When I have supposed them to be afraid of embracing Christianity
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lest they should be enchanted and poisoned, I have endeavoured .to relieve their minds of this fear, by asking them why their powaws did not enchant and poison me, seeing they had as much reason to hate me for preaching to and desiring them to become Christians, as they could have to hate them in case they should actually become such : and that they might have an evidence of the power and goodness of God engaged for the protection of Christians, I ventured to give a challenge to all their powaws and great Powers to do their worst on me, first of all ; and thus laboured to tread down their influence/
2. ' In conveying Divine Truth to their understandings. — I laboured under a very great disadvantage, for want of an interpreter, who had a good degree of doctrinal as well as experimental knowledge of di vine things ; in both which respects my present in terpreter was very defective when I first employed him. The method which God was pleased to take for the removal of this difficulty I have sufficiently explained elsewhere.
' Another thing that rendered it very difficult to convey divine truths to the understandings of the Indians, was, the defectiveness of their language ; the want of terms to express and convey ideas of spiritual things. There are no words in the Indian language to answer our English words, Lord, Sa viour, Salvation, Sinner, Justice, Condemnation, Faith, Repentance, Justification, Adoption, Sancti- fication, Grace, Glory, Heaven ; with scores of the like import.
* The only methods that I can make use of for sur mounting this difficulty, are, either to describe the
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things at large designed by these terms : as, if I was speaking- of regeneration, to call it " the heart's being changed" by God's Spirit, or " the heart's being made good;" or else I must introduce the English terms into their language, and affix the pre cise meaning of them, that they may know what I intend whenever I use them.
* But what renders it much more difficult to convey divine truths to the understandings of these Indians, is, that there seems to be no foundation in their minds to begin upon ; I mean, no truths that may be taken for granted as being already known, while I am attempting to instil others. And divine truths having a necessary dependence on one another, I find it extremely difficult, in my first addresses to Pagans, to begin and discourse of them in their proper order and connection, without having refer ence to truths not yet known, and without taking for granted such things as need first to be taught and proved.
' The method which I have usually taken, in iny first addresses to Pagans, has been, to introduce myself by saying that I was come among them with a desire and design to teach them some things which I presumed they did not know, and which I trusted would be for their comfort and happiness, if known; desiring they would give their attention, and hoping they might meet with satisfaction in my discourse.
' And thence I have proceeded to observe, that there are two things belonging to every man, which I call the Soul and the Body. These I endeavour to distinguish from each other, by observing to them, that there is something in them that is capable of joy and pleasure, even when their bodies are sick and
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much pained ; and, on the contrary, they find some thing within them that is fearful, sorrowful, ashamed, or otherwise uneasy, at times when their bodies are in perfect health. I then observe to them, that this which rejoices in them (perhaps at the sight of some friend who has been long absent) when their bodies are sick and in pain ; and this which is sorrowful, affrighted, ashamed, &c. and consequently uneasy, when their bodies are perfectly at ease, — this I call the Soul : and, although it cannot be seen like the other parts of the man, viz. the body, yet it is as real as their thoughts, desires, &c. which are like wise things that cannot be seen. I then further observe, that this part of the man which thinks, rejoices, grieves, &c. will live after the body is dead. For the proof of this, I adduce the opinion of their fathers, who, as I am told by very aged Indians now living, always supposed that there was something of the man which would survive the body : and if I can, for the proof of any thing that I assert, say, as St. Paul to the Athenians, As certain also of your own sages have said, — it is generally sufficient.
' Having established this point, I next observe, that what I have to say to them respects this con scious part of the man, and that with relation to its state after the death of the body ; and that I am not come to treat with them about the things that con cern the PRESENT world. This method I am obliged to take, because they will otherwise entirely mistake the design of my preaching, and suppose that the business which I am upon is something that relates to the present world ; having never been called together by the white people upon any other occa sion, but only to be treated with about the sale of
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lands, or some other secular business. And I find it almost impossible to prevent their imagining that I am engaged in the same or such like affairs ; and to beat into them, that my concern is to treat with them about their invisible part, and that with relation to its future state.
' But, having thus opened the way, by distinguishing betwreen soul and body, and shewing the immortality of the soul, and that my business is to treat with them in order to their happiness in a future state ; I, proceed to discourse of the being and perfections of God, particularly of his eternity, unity, self-suffici ency, infinite wisdom, and almighty power.
4 Having offered some things on the divine perfec tions, I proceed to open the work of creation in general ; and, in particular, God's creation of man in a state of uprightness and happiness, the means and manner of their apostacy from that state, and the loss of that happiness. But, before I can give a relation of their fall from God, I am obliged to make a large digression, in order to give an account of the1 origin and circumstances of their tempter, his capacity of assuming the shape of a serpent, from his being a spirit, without a body, &c. Whence I go on to shew, the ruins of our fallen state; the mental blindness and vicious dispositions which our first parents then contracted to themselves, and pro pagated to all their posterity ; the numerous calami ties brought upon them and theirs by this apostacy from God ; and the exposedness of the whole human race to eternal perdition : and thence labour to shew them the necessity of an Almighty Saviour, to deliver us from this deplorable state ; as well as of a Divine Revelation, to instruct us in the will of God,
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* And thus the way is prepared, for opening the Gospel Scheme of Salvation through the great Re deemer, and for treating of those doctrines which immediately relate to the soul's renovation by the Divine Spirit, and preparation for a state of ever lasting blessedness.
* In giving such a relation of things to Pagans, it is not a little difficult (as was observed before) to deliver truths in their proper order, without interfering with, and taking for granted things not as yet known ; to discourse of them in a familiar manner, suited to the capacities of Heathens; to illustrate them by easy and natural similitudes; and to answer the objec tions which they are disposed to make against the several particulars, as well as to take notice of and confute their contrary notions.
* What has sometimes been very discouraging in my first discourses to them, is, that, when I have distinguished between the present and future state, and shewn them that it was my business to treat of those things that concern the life to come, they have some of them mocked, looking on these things of no importance ; have scarce had a curiosity to hear, and perhaps walked off before I had half done my dis course. In such a case, no impressions can be made on their minds to gain their attention. They are not awed by hearing of the anger of God engaged against sinners ; of everlasting punishment, as the portion of Gospel neglecters : they are not allured by hearing of the blessedness of those who embrace and obey the Gospel. So that, to gain their attention to my discourses, has often been as difficult as to give them a just notion of the design of them, or to open truths in their proper order.
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* Another difficulty naturally falling under this head, is, that it is next to impossible to bring them to a rational conviction that they are sinners by nature, and that their hearts are corrupt and sinful, unless one could charge them with some gross acts of immorality. If they can be charged with manifest wrong done to their neighbour, they will generally own such actions to be evil ; but then they seem as if they thought it was only the actions that were sinful, and not their hearts. If they cannot be charged with such scandalous actions, they seem to have no consciousness of sin and guilt at all. So that it is very difficult to convince them rationally of that which is readily acknowledged (though, alas ! rarely felt) in the Christian world — that we are all sinners.
' The method which I take to convince them that we are sinners by nature, is, to lead them to an observation of their little children ; how they will appear in a rage, and fight, and strike their mothers, before they are able to speak or walk, while they are so young that it is plain they are incapable of learning such practices. And the light of nature in the Indians, condemning such behaviour in children toward their parents, they must own these tempers and actions to be wrong and sinful ; and the children having never learned these things, they must have been in their natures, and consequently they must be allowed to be, " by nature the children of wrath/' The same I observe to them with respect to the sin of lying, which their children seem much inclined to : they tell lies without being taught so to do, from their own natural inclination, as well as against restraints, and after corrections for that vice, which proves them sinners by nature.
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' These, and such like, are the means which I have made use of, in order to remove this difficulty : but if it be asked, after all, how it was surmounted, I must answer, God himself was pleased to do it with regard to a number of these Indians, by taking his word into his own hand, and making them feel at heart that they were both sinful and miserable. In " the day of God's power," whatever was spoken to them from His word served to convince them that they were sinners, (even the most melting in vitations of the gospel), and to fill them with solici tude to obtain a deliverance from that deplorable state.
4 Further, it is extremely difficult to give them any just notion of the undertaking of Christ in behalf of sinners ; of his obeying and suffering in their room and stead, in order to atone for their sins, and pro cure their salvation ; and of their being justified by his righteousness. They are, in general, wholly un acquainted with civil laws and proceedings ; and know of no such thing as one person's being sub stituted as a surety in the room of another; nor have they any kind of notion of civil judicatures, of per sons being arraigned, tried, judged, condemned, or acquitted. And hence it is very difficult to treat with them on any thing of this nature, or that bears any relation to legal procedures. And although they cannot but have some dealing with the white people, in order to procure clothing and other necessaries of life, yet it is scarcely ever known that any one pays a penny for another, but each one stands for himself. Yet this is a thing that may be supposed, though seldom practised among them ; and they may be made to understand, that if a friend of theirs pays a
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debt for them, it is right that on that consideration they themselves should be discharged.
'And this is the only way that I can take, in order to give them a proper notion of the satisfaction of Christ in behalf of sinners.
' But here naturally arise two questions : —
' First, What need there was of Christ's obeying and suffering for us ; why God would not look on us to be good creatures (to use my common phrase for justification) on account of our own good deeds. — In answer to which, I sometimes observe, that a child's being ever so orderly and obedient to its parents to-day, does by no means satisfy for its con trary behaviour yesterday ; and that if it be loving and obedient at some times only, and at other times cross and disobedient, it can never be looked upon as a good child for its own doings, since it ought to have behaved in an obedient manner always. This simile strikes their minds in an easy and forcible manner ; and serves, in a measure, to illustrate the point : for the light of nature, as before hinted, teaches them that their children ought to be obedient to them, and that at all times ; and some of them are very severe with them for the contrary behaviour. This I apply in the plainest manner to our behaviour toward God ; and so shew them that it is impossible for us, since we have sinned against God, to be justified before him by our own doings, since present and future goodness, although perfect and constant, could never satisfy for past misconduct.
' A second question is, If our debt was so great, and if we all deserve to suffer, how one person's suffering was sufficient to answer for the whole — Here I have no better way to illustrate the infinite
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value of Christ's obedience and sufferings, arising from the dignity and excellency of his person, than to shew them the superior value of gold to that of baser metals, and that a small quantity of this will dis charge a greater debt than a vast quantity of the copper pence.
' But, after all, it is extremely difficult to treat with them on this great doctrine of Justification.
* I scarcely know how to conclude this head, so many things occurring that might properly be added here : but what has been mentioned may serve for a specimen of the difficulty of conveying divine truths to the understandings of these Indians, and of gaining their assent to them as such.
' 3. From their manners and mode of life. — They generally live in the wilderness ; and some that I have visited, at great distances from the English settlements ; which has obliged me to travel much, and oftentimes over hideous rocks, mountains, and swamps ; frequently to lie out in the open woods ; which deprived me of the common comforts of life, and greatly impaired my health.
* When I have got among them in the wilderness, I have often met with great difficulty in my attempts to discourse with them ; have sometimes spent hours with them, in attempting to answer their objections and remove their jealousies, before I could prevail on them to give me a hearing on Christianity ; and have been often obliged to preach in their houses in cold and windy weather, when they have been full of smoke and cinders, as well as unspeakably lilthy, which has many times thrown me into violent sick head-aches.
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* While T have been preaching, their children have frequently cried to that degree, that I could scarcely be heard ; and their pagan mothers would take no manner of care to quiet them. At the same time, perhaps, some have been laughing and mocking at divine truths ; and others playing with their dogs, whittling sticks, and the like : and this, in many of them, not from spite and prejudice, but from want of better manners.
' The Indians are a people very poor and indigent; and so destitute of the comforts of life, at some sea sons of the year especially, that it is impossible for a person who has any pity to them, and concern for the Christian interest, to live among them without considerable expense, especially in time of sickness. If any thing be bestowed on one (as in some cases it is peculiarly necessary, in order to remove their pagan jealousies, and engage their friendship to Christianity), others, be there never so many of them, expect the same treatment. And while they retain their pagan tempers, they discover little gratitude, or even manhood, amidst all the kindnesses which they receive. If they make any presents, they expect double satisfaction. And Christianity itself does not at once cure them of these ungrateful and un manly tempers.
' They are, in general, unspeakably indolent and slothful, have been bred up in idleness, know little about cultivating land, or indeed of engaging vigor ously in other business : so that I am obliged to instruct them in, as well as press to the performance of their work, and take the oversight of all their secular busi ness. They have little or no ambition or resolution. Not one in a thousand of them has the spirit of a man : 2 B
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and it is next to impossible to make them sensible of the duty and importance of being active, diligent, and industrious, in the management of their worldly business, or to excite any spirit and promptitude of that nature in them. When I have laboured, to the utmost of my ability, to shew them of what im portance it would be to the Christian interests among them, as well as to their worldly comfort, for them to be laborious and prudent in their business, and to furnish themselves with the comforts of life ; how this would incline their brethren to come among them, and so bring them under the means of salvation ; how it would encourage religious persons of the white people to help them, as well as stop the mouths of others that were disposed to cavil against them; how they might thus pay their just dues, and so prevent trouble from coming on themselves, and reproach on their Christian profession : I say, when I have endeavoured to represent this matter in the most advantageous light that I possibly could, they have, indeed, assented to all that I said, but have been little moved, and consequently have acted like them selves, or at least too much so. Yet it must be acknowledged, that those who appear to have a sense of divine things, are considerably amended in this respect ; and it is to be hoped that time will make a yet greater alteration upon them for the better. * Their wandering to and fro, in order to procure the necessaries of life, is another difficulty that attends my work. This has often deprived me of opportunities of discoursing with them, and has thrown them in the way of temptation.
1 4. From the enmity and opposition of others. — The
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Indians are not only of themselves prejudiced against Christianity, on the various accounts which I have already mentioned ; but, as if this was not enough, there are some in all parts of the country where I have preached to them, who have taken pains industri ously to bind them down in pagan darkness ; neglect ing- to enter into the kingdom of God themselves, and labouring to hinder others/
Brainerd states some affecting particulars on this subject, and the distress which this malignity natu rally occasioned to him.
HIS SYSTEM OF CHRISTIAN INSTRUCTION.
Somewhat of this has been already seen, in his method of overcoming difficulties. The extracts which follow relate more particularly to the scope of his public ministry.
' The methods which I am taking to instruct the Indians in the principles of our holy religion, are, to open and improve some particular points of doctrine ; to expound paragraphs, or sometimes whole chapters of God's word to them; to give historical relations from Scripture of the most material and remarkable occurrences relating to the Church of God from the beginning ; and frequently to catechise them on the principles of Christianity. The latter of these me thods of instructing, I manage in a twofold manner. I sometimes catechise systematically, proposing questions agreeable to the Reverend Assembly's Shorter Catechism : this I have carried on to a con siderable length. At other times, I catechise on any important subject that I think difficult to them. Sometimes, when I have discoursed on some parti-
'2B 2
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cular point, and made it as plain and familiar to them as I can, I then catechise them on the most material branches of my discourse, to see whether they had a thorough understanding of it.
' It was the principal scope and drift of all my discourses to this people for several months together, (after having taught them something of the being and perfections of God, his creation of man in a state of rectitude and happiness, and the obligations under which mankind thence were to love and ho nour him,) to lead them into an acquaintance with their deplorable state by nature, as fallen creatures, — their inability to deliver themselves, — the utter in sufficiency of any external reformations and amend ment of life, or of any religious performances of which they were capable while in this state, to bring them into the favour of God, and interest them in his eternal mercy — and thence to shew them their abso lute need of Christ to redeem and save them from the misery of their fallen state — to open his all-suffi ciency and willingness to save the chief of sinners — the freeness and riches of his divine grace — proposed, " without money and without price/' to all that will accept the offer — and thereupon to press them, with out delay, to betake themselves to Him, under a sense of their misery and undone estate, for relief and everlasting salvation— and to shew them the abun dant encouragement which the Gospel proposes to perishing and helpless sinners, in order to engage them so to do. These things I repeatedly and largely insisted on.
' And I have oftentimes remarked with admiration, that, whatever subject I have been treating on, after having spent time sufficient to explain and illustrate
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the truths contained therein, I have been naturally and easily led to Christ, as the substance of every subject. If I treated on the being and glorious per fections of God, I was thence naturally led to dis course of Christ as the only " way to the Father!" If I attempted to open the deplorable misery of our fallen state, it was natural from thence to shew the necessity of Christ to undertake for us, to atone for our sins, and to redeem us from the power of them. If I taught the commands of God, and shewed our violation of them, this brought me, in the most easy and natural way, to speak of and recommend the Lord Jesus Christ, as one who had " magnified the law" which we had broken, and who was " become the end of it for righteousness, to every one that believeth." And never did I find so much freedom and assist ance in making all the various lines of my discourses meet together and centre in Christ, as I have fre quently done among these Indians.
' I have sometimes, formerly, in reading the Apos tle's discourse to Cornelius, admired to see him so quickly introduce the Lord Jesus Christ into his ser mon, and so entirely dwell on him through the whole of it, observing him in this point very widely to differ from any of our modern preachers; but, latterly, this has not seemed strange, since Christ has appeared to be the substance of the Gospel, and the centre in which the several lines of Divine Revelation meet: although I am still sensible there are many things necessary to be spoken to persons under Pagan darkness, in order to make way for a proper intro duction of the name of Christ, and his undertaking in behalf of fallen man.
' And this was the preaching, which God made use
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of, for the awakening of sinners, and the propaga tion of this work of grace among the Indians : and it was remarkable, from time to time, that, when I was favoured with any special freedom, in discoursing of the ability and willingness of Christ to save sinners, and the need in which they stood of such a Saviour, there was then the greatest appearance of divine power in awakening numbers of secure souls, pro moting convictions begun, and comforting the dis tressed/
THE SUCCESS WHICH ATTENDED HIS LABOURS.
* It is worthy of remark, that numbers of these people are brought to a strict compliance with the rules of morality and sobriety, and to a conscientious performance of the external duties of Christianity, by the internal power and influence of the peculiar doctrines of grace on their minds ; without their having these moral duties frequently inculcated on them, or the contrary vices particularly exposed.
1 These were the doctrines, and this the method of preaching, which were blessed of God for the awakening, and, I trust, the conversion of numbers of souls; and which were made the means of pro ducing a remarkable reformation among the hearers in general.
' When these truths were felt at heart, there was no vice unreformed, no external duty neglected. Drunkenness, the darling vice, was broken off, and scarce an instance of it known among my hearers for months together. The horrid practice of husbands and wives, in putting away each other, and taking others in their stead, was quickly reformed ; so that there are
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three or four couple, who have voluntarily dismised those whom they had wrongfully taken, and now live together again in love and peace. The same might be said of all other vicious practices. The reformation was general; and all springing from the internal influence of divine truths on their hearts. When I at any time mentioned their wicked practices, it was not with the design, nor indeed with any hope, of working an effectual reformation in their external manners by this means ; for I knew that while the tree remained corrupt, the fruit would naturally be so : but with design to lead them, by observing the wickedness of their lives, to a view of the corruption of their hearts, and so to convince them of the neces sity of a renovation of nature, and to excite them with the utmost diligence to seek after that great change, which, if once obtained, I was sensible would of course produce a reformation of external manners in every respect.
1 And, as all vice was reformed on their feeling the power of these truths on their hearts, so the external duties of Christianity were complied with, and con scientiously performed from the same internal influ ence ; family-prayer set up, and constantly main tained, unless among some few more lately come, who had felt little of this divine influence ; this duty constantly performed even in some families where there were none but females, and scarce a prayerless person to be found among near a hundred of them ; the Lord's-day seriously and religiously observed, and care taken by parents to keep their children orderly on that sacred day : and this, because they had felt the power of God's \vord on their hearts ; were made sensible of their sin and misery, and
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thence could not but pray, and comply with every thing which they knew to be their duty, from what they felt within themselves.
' Experience, as well as the word of God and the example of Christ and his apostles, has taught me, that that method of preaching, which is best suited to awaken in mankind a lively apprehension of their depravity and misery in a fallen state, to excite them earnestly to seek after a change of heart, and to fly for refuge to free grace in Christ as the only hope set before them, is likely to be most successful toward the reformation of their conduct. I have found that close addresses, and solemn applications of divine truths to the conscience, tend directly to strike death to the root of all vice ; while smooth and plausible harangues on moral virtues and external duties, at best are like to do no more than lop off the branches of corruption, while the root of all vice remains still untouched.
' I do not intend to represent the preaching of mo rality, and pressing persons to the external perform ance of duty, to be altogether unnecessary and useless at any time ; and especially at times when there is less of divine power attending the means of grace, and when, for want of internal influences, there is need of external restraints : but to discover this plain matter of fact, viz. that the reformation, the sobriety, and external compliance with the rules and duties of Christianity, appearing among my people, are not the effect of any mere doctrinal instruction", or merely rational view of the beauty of morality, but from the internal power and influence that divine truths (the soul-humbling doctrines of grace) have had upon their hearts.
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' And as God has continued and renewed the showers of his grace among this people for some time, so has he, with uncommon quickness, set up his visible kingdom, and gathered himself a church in the midst of them. I have now baptized seventy- seven persons, whereof thirty-eight are adults, and thirty-nine children ; and all within the space of eleven months past. And it must be noted, that I have baptized no adults, but such as appeared to have a work of special grace wrought in their hearts ; I mean such as have had the experience, not only of the awakening and humbling, but, in a judgment of charity, of the renewing and comforting influences of the divine Spirit.
' Much of the goodness of God has also appeared in relation to their acquirement of knowledge, both in religion and in the affairs of common life. There has been a wonderful thirst after Christian know ledge prevailing among them in general, and an eager desire of being instructed in Christian doc trines and manners.
' They have also acquired a considerable degree of useful knowledge in the affairs of common life ; so that they now appear like rational creatures, fit for human society, free from that savage roughness and brutish stupidity, which rendered them very disagreeable in their pagan state.
* The children learn with surprising readiness ; so that their master tells me, he never had an English school that learned in general comparably so fast. There were not above two in thirty, although some of them were very small, but what learned to know all the letters in the alphabet, distinctly, within three days after their entrance upon the business ;
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and divers in that space of time learned to spell very tolerably ; and some of them, since the begin ning of February last (at which time the school was set up,) have learned so much, that they are able to read in a Psalter or Testament without spelling.
* They are likewise instructed in the duty of secret prayer, and most of them constantly attend it night and morning ; and are very careful to inform their master, if they apprehend that any of their little school-mates neglect that religious exercise.
' It is worthy to be noted (to the praise of sove reign grace), that, amidst so great a work of convic tion, so much concern and religious affection, there has been no prevalency, nor indeed any considerable appearance of false religion (if I may so term it), or heats of imagination, intemperate zeal, and spiritual pride ; which corrupt mixtures too often attend the revival and powerful propagation of religion : and that there have been so very few instances of irregular and scandalous behaviour among those who have appeared serious.
1 There has here been no appearance of bodily agonies, convulsions, frightful screamings, and the like ; and I may now farther add, that there has been no prevalency of visions, trances, and imagina tions of any kind.
'But this work of grace has, in the main, been carried on with a surprising degree of purity, and free dom from trash and corrupt mixture. The religious concern that persons have been under has generally been rational and just, arising from a sense of their sins, and exposedness to the divine displeasure on the account of them, as well as their utter inability
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to deliver themselves from the misery which they felt and feared.
' The comfort that persons have obtained after their distresses, has likewise in general appeared solid, well-grounded, and scriptural, arising from a spiritual and supernatural illumination of mind, — a view of divine things, in a measure, as they are, — a complacency of soul in the divine perfections, — and a peculiar satisfaction in the way of salvation by free grace in the great Redeemer.
1 Yet it must be acknowledged, that, when this work became so universal and prevalent, and gained such general credit and esteem among the Indians, that Satan seemed to have little advantage of work ing against it in his own proper garb, he then "trans formed himself into an angel of light," and made some vigorous attempts to introduce turbulent com motions of the passions in the room of genuine con victions of sin ; imaginary and fanciful notions of Christ, as appearing to the mental eye in a human shape, and being in some particular postures, &c. in the room of spiritual supernatural discoveries of his divine glory and excellency ; as well as divers other delusions. And I have reason to think, that, if these things had met with countenance and en couragement, there would have been a very con siderable harvest of this kind of converts here. Spiritual pride also discovered itself in various in stances. Some persons who had been under great affections, seemed very desirous from thence of being thought truly gracious ; who, when I could not but express to them my fears respecting their spiritual states, discovered their resentment to a considerable degree on that occasion. There also appeared in
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one or two of them an unbecoming ambition of being teachers of others. So that Satan has been a busy adversary here, as well as elsewhere. But blessed be God ! though something of this nature has ap peared, yet nothing of it has prevailed, nor indeed made any considerable progress at all. My people are now apprised of these things ; are acquainted that Satan, in such a manner, " transformed himself into an angel of light/' in the first season of the great outpouring of the Divine Spirit in the days of the Apostles ; and that something of this nature, in a greater or lesser degree, has attended almost every revival and remarkable propagation of true religion ever since.
* May this blessed work, in the power and purity of it, prevail among the poor Indians here, as well as spread elsewhere, till the remotest tribes shall see the salvation of God ! Amen.'
CHARACTER OF BRAINERD.
After what has been thus brought before our readers, they will not want much assistance to enable them to form a just view of the character of this eminent servant of God. He has himself delineated it, by the unbosoming of his most secret thoughts and desires. We shall extract, however, from the preface of his biographer, and from some remarks on his character and life, at the close of the volume, a few passages which may assist in forming a due estimate of him.
Brainerd was, as has been seen, naturally prone to melancholy : yet he had a penetrating mind, and was a man of clear thought, of close reasoning, and of a
HIS CHARACTER. 381
very exact judgment ; and not at all carried away by a warm imagination.
Mr. Edwards remarks —
' Nothing so puffs men up with a high conceit of their own wisdom, holiness, eminency, and suffi ciency, and makes them so bold, forward, assuming, and arrogant, as enthusiasm. But Mr. Brainerd's religion constantly disposed him to an abasing sense of his own sinfulness, deficiency, unprofitableness, and ignorance ; looking on himself as worse than others ; disposing him to universal benevolence and meekness, and in honour to prefer others, and to treat all with kindness and respect. Indeed, at the time before mentioned, when he had not learned well to distinguish between enthusiasm and solid religion, he, joining and keeping company with some that were tinged with no small degree of the former, for a season partook with them in a degree of their dispo sitions and behaviour: but it is not at all to be won dered at, that a youth and a young convert, one who had his heart so swallowed up in religion, and so earnestly desired the flourishing of it, but had had so little opportunity for reading, observation, and experience, should for a while be dazzled and de ceived with the glaring appearances of that mistaken devotion and zeal ; especially considering what the extraordinary circumstances of that day were. He told me on his death-bed, that he was out of his ele ment and did violence to himself, while complying, in his conduct, with persons of a fierce and impru dent zeal, from his great veneration of some whom he looked upon as much better than himself. So that it would be very unreasonable that his error at that time should be esteemed a just ground of prejudice
382 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD:
against the whole of his religion ; especially con sidering how greatly his mind was soon changed, and how exceedingly he afterwards lamented his error, and abhorred himself for his imprudent zeal and mis conduct at that time, even almost to the overbearing and breaking the strength of his nature ; and how much of a Christian spirit he showed, in his con demning himself for that misconduct.
' What has been now mentioned of Mr. Brainerd, is so far from being a just ground of prejudice against what is related in the following account of his life, that, if duly considered, it will render the history the more serviceable. For, by his thus joining for a season with enthusiasts, he had a more full and inti mate acquaintance with what belonged to that sort of religion, and so was under better circumstances to judge of the difference between that and the other, which he finally approved, and strove to his utmost to promote, in opposition to it : and hereby the reader has the more to demonstrate to him, that Mr. Brainerd, in his testimony against it and the spirit and beha viour of those that are influenced by it, speaks from impartial conviction, and not from prejudice; be cause therein he openly condemns his own former opinion and conduct, on account of which he had greatly suffered from his opposers, and for which some continued to reproach him as long as he lived.
' It appears plainly and abundantly all along, from his conversion to his death, that that beauty, that sort of good, which was the great object of the new sense of his mind, the new relish and appetite given him in conversion, and thenceforward main tained and increased in his heart, was holiness,
HIS CHARACTER. 383
conformity to God, living to God, and glorifying him. This was what drew his heart : this was the centre of his soul: this was the ocean to which all the streams of his religious affections tended : this was the object that engaged his eager thirsting desires and earnest pursuits. He knew no true excellency or happiness but this : this was what he longed for most vehemently and constantly on earth ; and this was with him the beauty and blessedness of heaven ; which made him so much and so often to long for that world of glory; — it was to be perfectly holy, and perfectly exercised in the holy employments of heaven, thus to glorify God, and enjoy him for ever.
' His religious illuminations, affections, and com fort, seemed, in a great degree, to be attended with evangelical humiliation ; consisting in a sense of his own utter insufficiency, despicableness, and odious- ness ; with an answerable disposition and frame of heart. How deeply affected was he almost continu ally with his great defects in religion ; with his vast distance from that spirituality and holy frame of mind that became him ; with his ignorance, pride, deadness, unsteadiness, barrenness. He was not only affected with the remembrance of his former sinfulness, before his conversion ; but with the sense of his present vileness and pollution. He was not only disposed to think meanly of himself as before God, and in comparison of him ; but among men and as compared with them, he was apt to think other saints better than he ; yea, to look on himself as the meanest and least of saints; yea, very often as the vilest and worst of mankind. And, notwithstanding his great attainments in spiritual knowledge, yet we
384 LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD:
find there is scarcely any thing that he is more fre quently affected and abased with a sense of, than his ignorance.
' How eminently did he appear to be of a meek and quiet spirit, resembling the lamb-like spirit of Jesus Christ! How full of love, meekness, quietness, forgiveness, and mercy ! His love was not merely a fondness and zeal for a party, but a universal bene volence ; very often exercised in the most sensible and ardent love to his greatest opposers and enemies. His love and meekness were not a mere pretence, and outward profession and show; but they were effectual things, manifested in expensive and painful deeds of love and kindness, and in a meek beha viour ; readily confessing faults under the greatest trials, and humbling himself even at the feet of those from whom he supposed he had suffered most ; and, from time to time, very frequently praying for his enemies, abhorring the thoughts of bitterness or re sentment toward them. I scarcely know where to look for any parallel instance of self-denial, in these respects, in the present age. He took up and em braced the cross, and bore it constantly, in his great self-denials, labours, and suffering for the name of Jesus ; and went on without fainting, without re penting or repining, to his dying hour. He did not only, from time to time, relinquish and renounce the world secretly, in his heart, with the full and fervent consent of all the powers of his soul ; but openly and actually forsook the world, with its pos sessions, delights, and common comforts, to dwell as it were with wild beasts, in a howling wilderness ; with constant cheerfulness, willingly complyingwith the numerous hardships of a life of toil and travail
LIFE OF DAVID BRAINERD: 385
there, so that he might but to promote the kingdom of his Redeemer.
' His history shows us the right way to success in the work of the ministry. He sought it, as a resolute soldier seeks victory in a siege or a battle, or as a man that runs a race for a great prize. Animated with love to Christ and souls, how did he " labour always fervently," not only in word and doctrine, in public and private, but in prayers day and night, *' wrestling with God " in secret, and " travailing in birth," with unutterable groans and agonies, " until Christ were formed " in the hearts of the people to whom he was sent! How did he thirst for a blessing on his ministry ; and " watch for souls, as one that must give account! " How did he " go forth in the strength of the Lord God ; " seeking and depending on a special influence of the Spirit to assist and succeed him! and what was the happy fruit at last, though after long waiting, and many dark and dis couraging appearances ! Like a true son of Jacob, he persevered in wrestling, through all the darkness of the night, until the breaking of the day.
' And his example of labouring, praying, denying himself, and enduring hardness with unfainting re solution and patience, and his faithful, vigilant, and prudent conduct in many other respects, may afford abundant instruction, particularly to all who follow him in the missionary calling.'
2 C
REMAINS
ETC.
I.
Scheme of a, dialogue between the various powers and affections of the pious mind. [Mentioned in his Diary, Feb. 3, 1744.]
1. THE understanding introduced, (1.) As discover ing its own excellency, and capacity of enjoying the most sublime pleasure and happiness. (2.) As ob serving its desire to be equal to its capacity, and inca pable of being satisfied with any thing that will not fill it in the utmost extent of its exercise. (3.) As finding itself dependent, not self-sufficient ; and conse quently unable to spin happiness (as the spider spins its web) out of its own bowels. This self-sufficiencjr observed to be the property and prerogative of God alone, and not belonging to any created being. (4.) As in vain seeking sublime pleasure, satisfaction,
REMAINS OF THE REV. DAVID BRAINERD. 387
and happiness adequate to its nature, amongst created beings. The search and knowledge of the truth in the natural world allowed indeed to be refreshing to the mind, but still failing to afford com plete happiness. (5.) As discovering the excellency and glory of God, that he is the fountain of goodness, and well-spring of happiness, and every way fit to answer the enlarged desires and cravings of our immortal souls.
2. The will introduced, as necessarily, yet freely choosing this God for its supreme happiness and only portion, fully complying with the dictates of the understanding, acquiescing in God as the best good, his will as the best rule for intelligent creatures, and rejoicing that he is in every respect just what he is ; and withal choosing and delighting to be a de pendent creature, always subject to this God, not aspiring after self-sufficiency and supremacy, but acquiescing in the contrary.
3. Ardent love or desire introduced, as passionately longing to please and glorify the divine being ; to be in every respect conformed to him, and in that way to enjoy him. This love or desire represented as most genuine ; not induced by mean and mercenary views ; not primarily springing from selfish hopes of salvation, whereby the divine glories would be sacri ficed to the idol self; not arising from a slavish fear of divine anger in case of neglect, nor yet from hopes of feeling the sweetness of that tender and pleasant passion of love in one's own breast, but from a just esteem of the beauteous object beloved. This love further represented, as attended with vehement long ings after the enjoyment of its object, but unable to find by what means.
2 C 2
388 REMAINS OF THE
4. The understanding again introduced, as inform ing, (1.) How God might have been enjoyed, yea, how he must necessarily have been enjoyed, had not man sinned against him ; that as there was know ledge, likeness, and love, so there must needs be enjoyment, while there was no impediment. (2.) How he may be enjoyed in some measure now, namely, by the same knowledge, begetting likeness and love, which will be answered with returns of love, and the smiles of God's countenance, which are better than life. (3.) How God may be perfectly enjoyed, namely, by the soul's perfect freedom from sin. This perfect freedom never obtained till death ; and then not by any unaccountable means, or in any unheard of manner ; but the same by which it has obtained some likeness to, and fruition of, God in this world, namely, a clear manifestation of him.
5. Holy desire appears, and inquires why the soul may not be perfectly holy ; and so perfect in the en joyment of God here; and expresses most insatiable thirstings after such a temper, and such fruition, and such most consummate blessedness.
6. The Understanding again appears, and informs, that God designs that those whom he sanctifies in part here, and intends for immortal glory, shall tarry a while in this present evil world, that their own ex perience of temptations, &c. may teach them how great the deliverance is which God has wrought for them ; that they may be swallowed up in thankfulness and admiration to eternity; as also that they may be instrumental of doing good to their fellow-men. Now if they were perfectly holy, a world of sin would not be a fit habitation for them : and further, such mani festations of God as are necessary completely to sane-
REV. DAVID BRAINERD. 389
tify the soul, would be insupportable to the body, so that we cannot see God and live.
7. Holy impatience is next introduced, complain ing of the sins and sorrows of life, and almost re pining at the distance of a state of perfection ; uneasy to see and feel the hours hang so dull and heavy ; and almost concluding that the temptations, hard ships, disappointments, imperfections, and tedious employments of life will never come to a happy period.
8. Tender conscience comes in, and meekly re proves the complaints of impatience ; urging how careful and watchful we ought to be, lest we should offend the divine being with complaints ; alleging also the fitness of our waiting patiently upon God for all we want, and that in a way of doing and suf fering ; and at the same time mentioning the barren ness of the soul, how much precious time is misim- proved, and how little it has enjoyed of God, com pared with what it might have done ; as also suggesting how frequently impatient complaints spring from nothing better than self-love, want of resignation, and a greater reverence of the divine being.
9. Judgment, or sound mind, next appears, and duly weighs the complaints of impatience, and the gentle admonitions of tender conscience, and impartially determines between them. On the one hand it con cludes that we may justly be impatient with sin; and supposes that we may also with such sorrow, pain, and discouragement, as hinder our pursuit of holi ness, though they arise from the weakness of nature. It allows us to be impatient of the distance at which we stand from a state of perfection and blessedness.
390 REMAINS OF THE
It further indulges impatience at the delay of time, when we desire the period of it for no other end, than that we may with angels be employed in the most lively spiritual acts of devotion, and in giving all possible glory to him that liveth for ever. Temp tations, and sinful imperfections, it thinks we may justly be uneasy with ; and disappointments, at least those that relate to our hopes of communion with God, and growing conformity to him. And as to the tedious employments and hardships of life, it supposes some longing for the end of them not in consistent with a spirit of faithfulness, and a cheer ful disposition to perform the one arid endure the other ; it supposes that a faithful servant, who fully designs to do all he possibly can, may still justly long for the evening; and that no rational man would blame his kind and tender spouse, if he perceived her, longing to be with him, while yet faithfulness and duty to him might still induce her to yield for the present, to remain at a painful distance from him. On the other hand, it approves of the caution, care, and watchfulness of tender conscience, lest the divine being should be offended with impatient complaints! it acknowledges the fitness of our "waiting upon God," in a way of patient doing and suffering; but supposes this very consistent with ardent desires to " depart, and to be with Christ." It owns it fit that we should always remember our own barrenness, and thinks also that we should be impatient of it, and consequently long for a state of freedom from it ; and this, not so much that we may feel the happiness of it, but that God may have the glory. It grants that impatient complaints often spring from self-love, and want of resignation and humility. Such as
REV. DAVID BRAINERD. 391
these it disapproves ; and determines we should be impatient only of absence from God, and distance from that state and temper wherein we may most glorify him.
10. Godly sorrow introduced, as making her sad moan, not so much that she is kept from the free possession and full enjoyment of happiness, but that God must be dishonoured ; the soul being still in a world of sin, and itself imperfect. She here, with grief, counts over past faults, present temptations, and fears for the future.
11. Hope, or holy confidence, appears, and seems persuaded, that "nothing shall ever separate the soul from the love of God in Christ Jesus." It ex pects divine assistance and grace sufficient for all the doing and suffering work of time, and that death will, ere long, put a happy period to all sin and sorrow ; and so takes occasion to rejoice.
12. Godly fear, or holy jealousy, here steps in, and suggests some timorous apprehensions of the danger of deception ; mentions the deceitfulness of the heart, the great influence of irregular self-love in a fallen creature ; inquires whether itself is not likely to have fallen in with delusion, since the mind is so dark, and so little of God appears to the soul ; and queries whether all its hopes of persevering grace may not be presumption, and whether its confident expectations of meeting death as a friend, may not issue in disappointment.
13. Hereupon reflection appears, and reminds the person of his past experiences, as to the preparatory work of conviction and humiliation ; the view he then had of the impossibility of salvation, from him self, or any created arm ; the manifestation he has
392 REMAINS OF THE
likewise had of the glory of God in Jesus Christ, — how he then admired that glory, and chose that God for his only portion, because of the excellency and amiableness he discovered in him ; not from slavish fear of being damned, if he did not, nor from base and mercenary hopes of saving himself; but from a just esteem of that beauteous and glorious object : as, also, how he had from time to time rejoiced and acquiesced in God, for what he is in himself; being delighted that he is infinite in holiness, justice, power, sovereignty, as well as in mercy, goodness, and love : how he has likewise, scores of times, felt his soul mourn for sin, for this very reason, because it is contrary and grievous to God ; yea, how he has mourned over one vain and impertinent thought, when he has been so far from fear of the divine vindictive wrath for it, that, on the contrary, he has enjoyed the highest assurance of the divine, ever lasting love : how he has, from time to time, delighted in the commands of God, for their own purity and perfection, and longed exceedingly to be conformed to them, and even to be " holy as God is holy ; " and counted it present heaven, to be of a heavenly tem per : how he has frequently rejoiced, to think of being for ever subject to, and dependent on God ; accounting it infinitely greater happiness to glorify God in a state of subjection to, and dependence on him, than to be a god himself: and how heaven itself would be no heaven to him, if he could not there be every thing that God would have him be.
14. Upon this, spiritual sensation being awakened, comes in, and declares that she now feels and " tastes that the Lord is gracious ; " that he is the only supreme good, the only soul-satisfying hap-
REV. DAVID BRAINERD. 393
piness ; that he is a complete, self-sufficient, and almighty portion. She whispers, " Whom have I in heaven " but this God, this dear and blessed por tion ; " and there is none upon earth I desire besides him/' Oh, it is heaven to please him, and to be just what he would have me be ! Oh that my soul were " holy as God is holy ; pure, as Christ is pure; and perfect, as my Father in heaven is perfect ! " These are the sweetest commands in God's book, compris ing all others ; and shall I break them ? must I break them ? am I under a fatal necessity of it, as long as I live in this world ? Oh my soul ! wo, wo is me, that I am a sinner ; because I now neces sarily grieve and offend this blessed God, who is infinite in goodness and grace. Oh, methinks, should he punish me for my sins, it would not wound my heart so deep to offend him ; but, though I sin continually, he Continually repeats his kind ness toward me ! I could bear any suffering ; but how can I bear to grieve and dishonour this blessed God ! How shall I give ten thousand times more honour to him ? What shall I do to glorify and worship this best of beings? O that I could conse crate myself, soul and body, to his service for ever ! Oh that I could give up myself to him, so as never more to attempt to be my own, or to have any will or affections that are not perfectly conformed to his ! But, alas ! I cannot, I feel I cannot, be thus entirely devoted to God : I cannot live and sin not. Oh ye angels, do you glory him incessantly; if possible, exert yourselves still more in lively and ardent devotion; if possible, prostrate yourselves still lower before the throne of the blessed king of heaven. I long to bear a part with you, and if it were possible,
394 REMAINS OF THE
to help you. Yet when we have done, we shall not be able to offer the ten thousandth part of the ho mage he is worthy of. While spiritual sensation whispered these things, fear and jealousy were greatly overcome ; and the soul replied, " Now I know, and am assured, " &c. and again it welcomed death as a friend, saying, *' O death, where is thy sting!"
15. Finally, holy resolution concludes the discourse, fixedly determining to " follow hard after God," and continually to pursue a life of conformity to him. And the better to pursue this, enjoining it on the soul always to remember, that God is the only source of happiness, that his will is the only rule of rectitude to an intelligent creature, that earth has nothing in it. desirable for itself, or any further than God is seen in it; and that the knowledge of God in Christ, begetting and maintaining love, and mor- fying sensual and fleshly appetites, is the way to be holy on earth, and so to be attempered to the complete h oliness of the heavenly world.
REV. DAVID BRA1NERD. 395
II.
Some gloomy and desponding thoughts of a soul under convictions of sin, and concern for its eternal sal vation.
1. I BELIEVE my case is singular, that none ever had so many strange and different thoughts and feel ings as I.
2. I have been concerned much longer than many others that I have known or read of, who have been savingly converted, and yet I am left.
3. I have withstood the power of convictions a long time; and therefore I fear I shall be finally left of God.
4. I never shall be converted, without stronger convictions, and greater terrors of conscience.
5. I do not aim at the glory of God in any thing I do, and therefore I cannot hope for mercy.
6. I do not see the evil nature of sin, nor the sin of my nature; and therefore I am discouraged.
7. The more I strive, the more blind and hard my heart is, and the worse I grow continually.
8. I fear that God never showed mercy to one so vile as I.
9. I fear I am not elected, and therefore must perish.
10. I am an old sinner; and if God had designed mercy for me, he would have called me home to himself before now.
396 REMAINS.
III.
Siyns of Godliness. — The distinguishing marks of a true Christian, taken from one of my old manuscripts; wherein I wrote as I felt and experienced, and not from any considerable degree of doctrinal knowledge, or acquaintance with the sentiments of others in this point.
1. HE has a true knowledge of the glory and ex cellency of God, that he is most worthy to be loved and praised for his own divine perfections : Psalm cxlv. 8.
2. God is his portion : Psalm Ixxiii. 25. And God's glory his great concern : Matt. vi. 22.
3. Holiness is his delight ; there is nothing he so much longs for as to be holy, as God is holy : Phil, iii. 9—12.
4. Sin is his greatest enemy. This he hates for its own nature, for what it is in itself, being contrary to a holy God : Jer. ii. 1. Consequently he hates all sin: Rom vii. 24. 1 John iii. 9.
5. The laws of God alone are his delight : Psalm cxix. 27. Rom. vii. 22. These he observes, not out of constraint, from a servile fear of hell ; but they are his choice : Psalm cxix. 30. The strict ob servance of them is not his bondage, but his greatest liberty: ver. 45.
A-
THE END.
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