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CHILDREN'S BOOK §
COLLECTION I
LIBRARY OF THE &
UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA j|
LOS ANGELES ^
«**
THE
HISTORY
O F
Little Goody Two-Shoes ;
O T H E RW ISE CALLED
Mrs MARGERY TWO-SHOES.
With the Means by which (he acquired her Learning and Wifdom, and, in Conicquence thereof, her Eltate.
Set forth at large for the Benefit of thofo
Wlo from a State of R.igs and Care, • And having Shoes but half a Pair, Their Fortune and their Fame -would fix t And gallop in a Coach and Six
See the original Manufcript in the VATICAN at ROME, and the Cuts by Michael Angela ; Uluftrated with the Comments of our great modern Critics.
LONDON:
Printed for the Bookfellers.
PPrice 6d. bound and gilt.]
TO A L 1
YOUNG
GENTLEMEN and LADIES,
WHO ARE GOOD, OR INTEND TO BE GOOD,
THIS BOOK
IS INSCRIBED BY
THSIR OLD FRIEND
The EDITOR.
The Renowned HISTORY of
Little Goody Two-Shoes;
Commonly called
Old Goody Two-Shoes.
PART I.
INTRODUCTION, by the Editor.
ALL the world muft allow that Two Shots was not her real N^me. No; her Father's Name was Me anwe II ; and he was for many Years a confiderable Farmer in the Parifh where Margery *as born; but by the Misfortunes which he met with in Bufinefs, and the wicked Perfections of Sir Timothy Gripe* and an overgrown Farmer called Grafpall, he was effectually ruined.
The Cafe was thus. The Parifti of Mould*
«uW/, where they lived, had for maoy Ages
A j beea
6 The Renowned Hi/lory of
been let by the Lord of the Manor into twelve different Farms, in which the Tenants lived comfortably, brought up large Families, and carefully fuppo'rted the poor People who laboured for them; until the Eftate, by Mar- riage, and by Death, came into the Hands of Sir Timothy.
This Gentleman, who loved himfelf better than all his neighbours, thought it lefs Trou- ble to write one Receipt for his Rent »han twelve, and Farmer Grafpall offering to take all the Farms as the Leafes expired, Sir Timothy agreed with him, and in Procefs of Time he was poflefTed of every Farm, but that occupied by Little Margery's Father; which he alfo wanted; for as "Mr Meanwfll was a charitable good Man, he flood up for the Poor at the Parifh Meetings, and was unwilling to have them opprefled by Sir Timothy, and this avaricious Farmer. — Judge, oh ! kind, humane, and courteous Reader, what a terrible Situation the Poor mud be in, when this covetous Man was perpetual Over- feer, and every Thing for their Maintenance, was drawn from his hard Heart and cruel Hand. But he was not only perpetual Over- feer, but perpetual Churchwarden; and judge, oh ye Chriflians, what State the Church muft be in, when fupported by a Man without Religion or Virtue. He was alfo perpetual Surveyor of the Highways,
and
GOODY TWO SHOES. 7
and what Sort of Roads he kept up for the Convenience of Travellers, thofe belt know who have had the Misfortune to be obliged to pafs thro' that Pariih. Complaints indeed were nude, but to what Purpofe are Com- plaints, when brought againft a Man who can hunt, drink, and fmoke with the Lord of the Manor, who is alfo the Juftice of Peace ? The Oppofuion which little Margtrf* Father made to this Man's Tyranny, gave Offence to Sir Timothy, who endeavoured to force him out of his Farm; and to oblige him to throw up the Leafe, ordered both a Brick- Kiln and a Dog Kennel to be ere&ed in the Farmer's Orchard. This was contrary to Law, and a Suit was commenced, in which Margery's Father got the better. The fame Offence was again committed three different Times, and as many Actions brought, in all of which the Farmer had a Verdict and CoCts paid him ; but notwithstanding thefe Advan- tages, the Law was fo expenfive, that he was ruined in the Conteft, and obliged to give up all he had to his Creditors ; which effec- tually anfwered the Purpofe of Sir Timothy, who e reded thofe Nuifances in the Farmer's Orchard with that Intention only. Ah, my dear Reader, we brag of Liberty, and boaft of our Laws, but the Blefllngs of the one, and the Protection of the other feldom fall to the Lot of the Poor ; and efpecially when
a
3 The Renc^jncd Uiflor} of
a rich Man is their Adverfary. How, in the Name of Goodnels, can a poor Wretch obtain Redrefc, when Thirty Pounds are ir-furTicient to try his Caufe? Where is he to find Money to fee Counfel, or how can he plead his Caufe himfelf (even if he was permitted) when our Laws are fo obfcure, and fo multiplied, that an Abridgement of them cannot be contained in fifty Volumes in Folio?
As fpon as Mr Aleanivell had called toge- ther his Creditors, Sir Timothy feized for a Year's Rent, and turned the Farmer, his Wife, little Margery and her Brother out ot Doors, without any of the NecefTaries of Life to fupport them. ^
This elated the Heart of Mr Grafpall, this crowned his Hopes, and filled the Meaiure
of
GOODY TWO-SHOES. 9
of his Iniquity ; for befides gratifying his Revenge, this Man's Overthrow gave him the fole Dominion of the Poor, whom he de- preffed and abufed in a Manner too horrible to mention.
Margery** Father flew into another Parifh for Succour, and all thofe who were able to move left their Dwellings and fought Em- ployment elfewhere, as they found it would be impoffible to live under the Tyranny of two fuch People. The very old, the very Jame, and the Blind were obliged to Hay be- hind, and whether they were ifarved or what became of them, Hiftory does not fay; but the Characters of the great Sir Timothy, and his avaricious Tenant, were fo infamous, that nobody would work for them by the Day, and Servants were afraid to engage themfelves by the Year, left any nnforefeen Accident fhould leave them Parifhioners in a Place, where they knew they mult periih miferably; fo that great Part of the Land lay untilled for fome Years, which was deemed a jufl Reward for fuch diaboUcal Proceedings.
But what, fays the Reader, can occafion all this? Do you intend this for Children, Mr EDITOR? Why, do you fuppofe this is written by Mr EDITOR, Sir? This may come from another Hand This is not the Book, Sir, mentioned in the Title, but the Intro- duction
io The Renowned HiJIory of
dutfion to that Book ; and it is intended, Sir, not for thofe Sort of Children, but for Chil- dren of lix Feet high, of which, as my Friend has juftly obferved, there are many Millions in the Kingdom; and thefe Reflections, Sir, have b-en rendered necefTary, by the unac- countable and diabolical Scheme which many Gentlemen now give into, of laying a Number of Farms into one, and very often a whole Parifli ioto one Farm ; which in the End mult reduce the common People to a State of Vaf- falage, worfe than that under the Barons of old, or of the Clans in Scotland; and will in Time depopulate the Kingdom. But as you are tired of the Subject, I mall take myfelf away, and you may vifit Little Margery* So, Sir, your Servant,
The EDITOR.
CHAP. I.
Hiiu and about Little Margery and her Brother.
CARE and Difcontent fhortened the Days of Little Margery's Father.— He was forced from his Family, and feized with a violent Fever in a place where Dr James's Powder was not to be had, and where he died miferably. Margery's poor Mother furvived the Lois of her Huiband but a few Days, and
died
GOODY TWO SHOES. n
iied of a broken Heart, leaving Margery and her little Brother to the wide World: but, poor Woman, it would have melted your Heart to have feen how frequently (he heaved up her Head, while fhe lay ipeechlefs, to fur- vey with languifhing Looks her little Orphans, as much as to fay. Do Tommy, do Margery t come with me. They cried, poor Things, and me fighed away her Soul; and I hope is happy.
It would both have excited your Pity, and have done your Heart good, to have feen how fond thefe two little ones were of each other, and how, Hand in Hand, they trotted about. Pray fee them.
They
I a The Renowned Hiftory of
They were both very ragged, and Tommy had two Shoes, but Margery had but one. They had nothing, poor Things, to fupport them (not being in their own Parifh)but r/hat they picked from the Hedges, or got from the poor People, and they lay every Night in a Barn. Their Relations took no Notice of them; no, they were rich, and afhamed to own fuch a poor linle ragged Girl as Margery* and fuch a dirty little curl- pated Boy as Tom- my. Our Relations and Friends feldom take Notice of us when we are poor; but as we grow rich thev grow fond : And this will al- ways be the Cafe, while People love Money better than Virtue, or better than they do GOD Almighty, but fuch wicked Folks, who love nothing but Money, and are proud and defpife the Poor, never come to any Good in the End, as we fhall fee by and by
C H A V,
GOODY TWO-SHOES.
CHAP.
II.
and abtut Mr Smith.
MR Smith was a very worthy Clergyman, who lived in the Parifh where little Margery and Tommy were born; and having a Relation upon a vifit to him, who was a cha- ritable good Man, he fent for thefe Children to him. The Gentleman ordered Liirie Margery a new Pair of Shoes, gave Mr Smith feme Money to buy her Cioares ; and fait! he would take Tommy, and make him a little Sailor; and accordingly had a Jacket and Trowil-rs made for him, in which he now appears. Pray iook at him.
B
After
14 The Renowned Hi/lory of
After fame Days, the Gentleman intended to go to London, and take little Tommy with him, of whom you will know more by and by, for we fliall at a proper Time prefent you with fome Part of his Hiftory, his Travels and Adventures
The Parting between tbefe two little Children was very affeding, Tommy cried, and Margery cried, and they kified each other an hundred Time- At lalt Tommy
thus wiped off her Tears with the End of his Jacket, and bid her cry no more, for that he would come tc her agam, «.vhen he re- turned from Sea. However, as ihey were fo very fond, the Gentleman would not fuffer them to take Leave of e^cli oiher; but t d Tommy he fliouid r de cut with him, and come back at Night. When Night came,
Little
GOODY TWO-SHOES. 15
Little Margery grew very uneafy about her Brother, and after fitting up AS- late as Mr Smith would let her, fhs went crying to Btd.
CHAP. III.
Ho-w Little Margery obtained the Name of Goody Two-Shoes, atidwhat happened in the Parijh.
AS foon as Little Margery got up in the Morning, which was very early, fhe ran all round the Village, crying for her Brother; and after fomeTime returned greatly diitref- fed. However, at this Inttant, the Shoe- maker very opportunely came in with the new Shoes, for which (he had been meafured by the Gentleman's Order.
Nothing could have fupported Little Mar- gery under the Affliction me was in for the Lofs of her Brother, but the Pleafure fhe took in her fwo Shies* She run out to Mrs Smith as foon as they were put on, and ftrok- down her ragged Apron thus
B * cried
16 The Renwned Htftvry of
cried out, Tnvo Shoes > Mame,fee Two Shoes. And fo {he behaved to all the People (he met, and by that Means obtained the Name of Goody Two- Shoes, though her Play-mates called her Old Goody T<w?-Shoes.
Little Margery was very happy in being with Mr and Mrs Smith, who were very Charitable and good to her, and had agreed to breed her up with their Family ; but as faon as that Tyrant of the Panfh, that GrafpaM, heard of her being there, he applied fint to Mr Smith, and threatened to reduce his Tythes if he kept her; and after that he fpoke to Sir Timothy, who fent Mr Smith a peremptory Meffage by his Servant, that he jhouldfsnd back Mean we It'/ Girl to be kept by her Relations, and ?:-f rarbour her in the Pariih. This ib diilreffsd Mr Smith that he
ftied
GOODY TWO-SHOES. if
flied Tears, and cried, Lord have Mercy on the Poor!
The Prayers of the Righteous fly upwards, and reach unto the Throne of Heaven, as will be feen in the Sequel.
Mrs Smith was alfo greatly concerned at being thus obliged ro difcard poor Little Margery. She kifled her and cried;
as alfo did Mr Smithy but they were obliged to fend her away; for the People who had ruined her Father, could at any Time have ruined them.
CHAP.
*8 The Renowned Hiflory of
CHAP. IV.
Hoiu Lift If Margery learned to read, and by Degrees taught others.
T ITTLE Margery faw how good and how JLj wife Mr Smith was, and concluded, that this was owing to his great Learning: there- fore (he waated of a'l Things to learn to read. For this Purpofe (he ufed to meet the little Bays and Girls as they came from School, borrow their B oks, and fit down and read till they returned:
By this Means fhe foon got more Learning than any of her Playmates, and laid the fol- lowing Scheme for intruding thofe who were
more
< GOODY TWO-SHOES. 19
more ignorant than herfelf. She found, that only the following Letters were required to fpell ail the Words in the World; but as iome of thefe Letters are large, and fome fmall, me with her Knife but out of feveral Pieces of Wood ten Sets of each of thefe :
abcdefghijklmno pqrfsturw-xyz.
And fix Sets of thefe:
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO P QJl STUVWXYZ.
And having got an old Spelling Book, fhe made her Companions fet up ail the Words they wanted to fpell, and after that (he taught them to compofe Sentences. You know what a Sentence is, my Dear; I will be good, is a Sentence; and is made up, as you fee, of fe- veral Words.
The ufual Manner of Spelling, or carrying on the Game, as they called it, was this: Suppofe the Word to be fpeit was Plumb Pud- ding (and who can fuppofe a better ?) the Children were placed in a Circle, and the firft brought the Letter P, the next /, the next #, the next m> and fo on till the Whole was fpelt; and if any one brought a wrong Let- ter,
ao The Renowned Hiftory of
ter, he was to pay a Fine, or play no more. This WiS at their P,ay ; and every Morning ihe ufed to go round to teach the Children with thefe Rattle-traps in a Bafket, as you lee in the Print.
I once went her Rounds with Aer, and was highly diverted, as VOM may be, il you pieafe to look, into the next Chapter.
CHAP.
V.
Ke<u> Litrle Two-Shoes became a trotting Tutor eft , and hoiu Jhe taught her young Pupils.
I
T was nbnn feven o'clock in the Morning when we ftt out ca ;hts iinportaai Bufinefs,
and
GOODY TWO-SHOES. ai
and the firft Houfe we came to was Farmer s. See here it is.
Here Margery flopped, and ran up to the Door, Tap, tap, tap. Who's there? Only little Goody Two Shoes, anfwered Margery, come to tea'rh Billy. Oh Little Goody, lays Mrs IVilfcn, with Pleafure io her Face, I am glad to fee you, Billy wants you fadly, for be has learned all his Leffon. Then out came the little Boy. How do, doody Two-Shves, fays he, not able to fpeak plain. Yet this little Bov had learned all his Letters; for me threw down the Alphabet mixed together thai:
bdfhkmoqsuwyzf acegilnprtvxj
and
ai The Renowned Hijlory of_
and he picked them up, called them by their right Names, and put them all in Order thus:
abcdefghijklmno pqrfstuv wxyz
She then threw down the Alphabet of Capital Letters in the Manner you here fee them;
BDFHRMOQSUWYZ A C E G I L N PR T V X J.
and he picked them all up, and having told their Names, placed them thus :
ABCDEFGHIJKLM N O P QJl STUVWXYZ.
Now, pray, little Reader, take this Bodkin, and fee if you can point out the Letters from thefe mixed Alphabets, and tell how they fliould be placed as well as little Boy Billy.
Th* next Place we came to was Farmer
Simpfon's, and here it is.
GOODY TWO-SHOES.
, av0<u>, wow, fays the Dog at the Door. Sirrah, lays his Mituels, what do you bark at Little Two Shoes? Come in, Madge; here, Sally wants vou fadly, (he ha? learned all her LefTon. Then out came ths Mule one: So Madge! fays (he; fo Sally 1 anfwer- ed the other, have you learned your LefTon ? Yes, that's what I have, replied the little one in the Country Manner; and immediately taking the Letters (he fet up thefe Syllables :
ba be bi bo bu, ca ce ci co cu da de di do du, fa fe fi fo fu
and gave them their exaft Sounds as (he compofed them; after which flic fet up the following:
ac
14 The Renowned Hi/lory cf
ac er. ic oc uc, ad ed id od ud af ef if of uf, ag eg ig eg ug
And pronounced them l^kewife. She then fang the Cuzz's Chorus (v/hfch may be found in the Little Pretty Pt*y 'Thing,} and to th« fame Tune to which it is there Jet.
After this, Little 'Two Shoes taught her to fpell Words of one Syllable, and fhe fooa let up Pear, Plumb, Top, Ball, Pic, Pufs, Do^v Hoy, Fawn, Buck, Doe, Lamb, Sheep, R«un, Cow, Bull, Cock, Hen, and many more.
,'!'•'£ next Place we came to was Gaffer Coct's Cottage; there you fee it before you.
Here a Number of poor Children were met to learn ; who all came round little Alargcn
at
GOODY TWO-SHOES, 15
at once ; and having pulled out her Letters, (be afked the little Boy next her, what be had for Dinner? Who anfwered, Bread, (the poor Children in many Places Jive very hard) Well, then, fays flie, fet the firlt Later. He put up the Letter B, to which the next added r, and the next e, the next a, the next d, and it ftood thus, Bread.
And what had you, Polly Comb, for your Dinner? Apple~pye, anfwered the little Girl: Upon which the next in Turn fet up a great A, the two next a p each, and fo on till the two Words Apple and Pye were united and ftocd thus, slpple pye.
The next hsd Potatoes* the next Beef and Turnips * which were fpelt, with many oihers, till the Game of Spelling was finifhed. She then fee them another Talk, and we proceeded.
The next Place we came to was Farmer Thtntpfon*, where there were a great many little ones waiting for her.
So, little Mrs Gosdv T<wo- Shoes, fays one of them, where have yon been fo long? I have been teaching, fays flie, longer than I intended, and am afraid I am come too foon for you now, No, but indeed you are not, r. plied the other; for I have got my Leflbn, and fo has Sally Dawfat, and fo has JHatry IVilfon, *nd fo we have all ; and they capered about as if they were ovetjoyed to fee her. Why then, fays Hie, you are all C veiy
s6 The Renowned Hijlory of
very good, and GOD Almighty will love you; fo let us begin our Lefions. Theyall huddled round her, and though at the other • Place they were employed about Words and Syllables, here we had People of muca greater Underftanding, who dealt only in Sentences.
The Letters being brought upon the Table, one of the little ones fet up the following Sentence :
The Lord have Mercy upon met and grant that I may be always good, and fay my Prayers , and lovs the Lord my God 'with all my Heart, •with all my Soul, and with all my Strength ; and honour the King, and all good Men in ^uthoritv under him.
Then the next took the Letters and com- pofed this Sentence:
Lord haze Mercy upon me, and grant that 1 may love my Neighbour as my f elf, and do unto all Men as I would have them do unto me, and tell nt Lies ; but be honejl and jufl in all my Dealings.
The third compofed the following Sen- tence :
The Lord have Mercy upon me, and grant that I may honour my Father and frlothtr, and I we my Brothers and Sifters. Relations and Friends, and all my Playmates, and every Body, and endeavour to make them happy.
The
GOODY TWO-SHOES. »7
The fourth compofed the following: / pray GOD to blefs this ivhole Company, and all our Friends , and all 9ttr Ene?uies.
To this latt Polly Sullen objected, and faid, Truly, (lie did not know why me ihould pray for her Enemies ? Not pray for yourEne- mies, fays little Margery; yes, you muft, you are no Chriftian, if you don't forgive your Enemies, and do Good for Evil. Polly ftill pouted ; upon which little Margery frid, though (he was Poor, and obliged to lie in a Barn, fhe would not keep Company with fuch a naughty, proud, perverfe Girl as Polly; and was going away; however, the Difference was made up, and (he fet them to compofe the following
LESSONS
For the CONDUCT of LIFE.
LESSON I.
He that will rhrive,
Muft rife by Five. He tlm hath thriv'n, May lay till Seven. Truth may be blain'd, But cannot be (ham'd. Tell me with whom you go, And I'll tell what you do.
C z A
a 3 'The R.tnwntd Hi/lory of
A Friend in your Is a Friend indeed. They ne'er can be wife, Who good Couuie! dei^ife.
LESSON II.
A wife Head makes a clofe Mouth.
Don't burn your Lips with another Man'a Broih.
Wit is Folly, unlefs a wife Man hath ihe keeping of it.
life ioft Words and hard Arguments.
Honey catches more Flies tnan Vinegar.
To forget a Wrong is the beft Revenge.
Patience is a Plainer for all Sores.
Where Pride goes, Shanie will follow.
When Vice enters the Room, Vengeance is near the Door.
Indultry is Fortune's right Hand, and Fru- gality her Left.
MAe much of Three- pence, or you ne'er will be worth a Groat.
LESSON III.
A Lie ttands upon one Leg, bnt Truth upon
Two. \Vht-n a Man talks much, believe but Half
what he lays.
Fair
GOODY TWO SHOES.
Fair Words butter no Parfnips. Bad Company poifons the Mind. A covetous Man is never faiisfied. Abundance, like W«nt, ruins many. Contentment is the bed Fortune. A contented Mind is a continual FeaiL
A LESSON in Religion.
Love GOD, for he is good.
Fear GOD, for he is jult.
Pray to GOD, for ail good Things come from
him. Praife GOD, for great is his Mercy towards
us, and wonderful are all his Works. Thofe who (trive to be Good, have GOD on
their Side. Thofe who have GOD for their Friend fhall
want nothing. Confefs your Sins to GOD, and if you repent
he will forgive you. Remember that all you do, is done in the
Prefence of GOD. The Time will come, ray Friends, when we
muft give Account to GOD, how we on Earth did live.
A Moral LESSON.
A good Boy will make a good Man.
„ C 3 Honour
The Renowned fii/iory qf
30
Honour your Parents, and the World \vi!l
honour you. Love your Friends, and your Friends will
love you.
He that fwims in Sin, will {ink in Sorrow. Learn to live as you wouid wifh to die.
Jls you. expect all Men jhould deal by you,
So deal by them, and give each Man his du:»
As we were returning Home, we faw a Gentleman, who was very ili, fitting under a fhady Tree at the Corner of his Rookery. Though ill, he "began to joke with little Margery, and faid, laughingly, So, Gcptty T'VJS Sboes> they tell me you are a cunning little Baggage: Pray, can you tell me what I mall do to get well ? Yes, Sir, lays me, go to Bed when your Rooks do. You fee they arc going to Reft already;
Do
GOODY TWO-SHOES. 11
Do you fo Jikewife, and get up with them in the Morning; earn, as they do, every Day what you eat, and eat and drink no more than you earn; and you will get Health and keep it. What fhould induce the Rooks to frequent Gentlemen's Houfes only, but to tell them how to lead a prudent Life? They never build over Cottages or Farm Houfes, oecaufe they fee, that thefe People know liow to live without their Admonition.
Thut Health and Wit you may improve 9 Taught by the Tenants of the Grove.
The Gentleman laughing, gave Margery Six- pence, and told her flie was a fenfible Hufley.
C H A P. VI.
the whole PariJJ} was frightened*
WHO does not know Lady Ducklington, or who does net know that (he was buried at this Parifti Church ?
Well,
3* Tbff Renown fJ Hijlory of
Well, I never fa\v fo grand a Funeral in all my £.ife; but the Money they fquaadered awav, would have been better laid out in Ituie Books tor Children, or in Meat, Drink, and Cloaths for the Poor
This is a fine Hearfe indeed, and the nod- ding Plumes on ihe Horfes look very grand ;
but
GOODY TWO-SHOES. 33
but what End does that anfwer, otherwife than to difpiay the Pride of the ^Living, or the Vanity of the Dead. Fie upon fuch Folly, fay I, and Heaven grant that thofe who want more Scnfe may have it.
But all the Country round came to fee the Burying, and it was late before the Corpfe was interred. After which, in the Night, or rather about Four o'clock in the Morning, the Bells were heard to jingle in the Steeple, which frightened the People prcdigioufly, who all thought it was Lady Ducklington's Glioft dancing among the Bell-ropes. The People flocked to Will Dobbins the Clerk, and wanted him to go and fee what it was; but William f*id, he was fure it was a Gho(f , and that he would not offer to open the Door. At length Mr Long, the Rector, hear- ing fuch an Uproar in the Village, went to the Clerk,, to know why he did not go into the Church, and fee who was there. I go, Sir, fays Wi'li aw i why the G'hoft Would frighten
me our of my Wits Mrs Dobbins too cried,
ar.d laying hold of her Hufband faid, he mould not be eat up by the Ghoft. A Ghoit, ye Blockheads, fays Mr Long, in a Pet, did either of vou ever fee a Ghoft, or know any Body that did? Yes, fays the Clerk, my Father did once in the Shape of a Windmill, and it walked all round the Church in a white Sheet, with Jack Boots on, and ha-d a Gun by its Side inftead of a Sword.
34 The Renowned H[ftory 9f
A fine Pi&ure of a Ghofl truly, fays Mr Long, give me the Key of the Church, you Mon- key; for I tell you there is no fuch Thing now, whatever may have been formerly.—- Then taking the Key, he went to the Church, all the People following him. ,\sr'foon as he h <d opened the Door, what Sort of a Ghoft do you think appeared ? Whv Little Tivo- Shoej, who being weary, had fallen afleep in one of the Pews during the Funeral Service, and was (hut in all Night. She immediately afked Mr Long's Pardon for the Trouble (he had given him, toid him, (lie had been locked into the Church, and faid, (lie mould not have rung the Bells, but that fhe was very cold, and hearing Farmer Boitlfs M .n go \vhiftlingbv with his Horfes. fhe was in Hopes he would ha?e went to the Clerk for the Key to let her out.
CHAP.
GOODY TWO-SHOES- 35
CHAP VII.
Containing an Account of all the Spirit s\ or Gnofts, Jhefaw in the Church.
THE People were adiamed to afk little Madge any Questions before Mr Long' but as foon as he was gone, they all got round her to fatisfy their Curiofity, and de- fired flie would give them a particular Ac- count of all that fhe had heard and ieen.
Her T A L E.
I went to the Church, faid (he, as mod of you did lad Night, to fee the Burying, and >eing very weary, I fate me down in Mr Jonei's Pew, and fell faft afleep. At Eleven of the Clock I awoke; which I believe was o fome Meafure occafioned by the Clock's Inking, for I heard it. I darted up, and :ould not at firft tell where I was ; but after bme time I recollected the Funeral, and foon round that I was fhut in the Church. It was lifmal dark, and I could fee nothing; but vhile I was Handing in the Pews, fomething umped up upon me behind, and laid, as I
:hought, its Hands over ray Shoulders -I
>wn. I was a little afraid at firft; however, I confidered that I had always been con-
flant
T,6 The Renowned Hi/lory of
ftant at Prayers and at Church, and that I had done nobody any Harm, but had en- deavoured to do what Good I could; and then, thought I, what have I TO fear? Yet I kneeled down to fay my Prayers. As foon as I was on my K*iees, ibmething very cold, as cold as Marble, ay, as cold as Ice, touched my Neck, which made me Itart; however, 1 coatinued my Prayers, and having begged Protection from Almighty GOD, I found my Spn its revive, and I was fenh'ble that I had nothing to fear; for GOD Almighty proteds not only all thofe who are good, but alfo all thofe who endeavour to be good — Nothing can withftand the Power, or exceed the Goodnefs of GOD Almighty. Armed with the Confidence of his Protection, 1 •walked down the Church Ifle, when I heard fomething pit pat, pit pat, pit pat, come af- ter me, and fomething touched my Hand, xvhich feemed as could as a Marble Monument. I could not think what this was, yet J knew it could no« hurt me, and therefore I made myfelf eafy; but being very cold, and the Church being paved with Stone, which was very damp, I felt niy Way as well as I could to the Pulpit, in doing which fome- thing brufhfcd paft me, and almott threw me down. However I was not frightened, for I knew that Gon Almighty would fuffer nothing to hurt me,
At
GOODY TWO-SHOES. 37
At laft, I found out the Pulpit, and having fiuu the Door, I laid me down on the Mat and Cufhion to deep; when fomethmg tnrult and pulled the Door, as 1 thought for Admit- tance, which prevented my going to "efP- At laft it cries. Bow, «uwiy, <wo*u> ; and 1 concluded it muft be Mr Sandcrfon* Dog, which had followed me from their Houte , ta Church ; fo 1 opened the Door, and called Snip, Snip, and the Dog jumped upon me immediately. After this, Snip and I lay down together, and had a to oft comfortable Nap : for when I awoke again, it was a molt light. I then walked up and down all the Iflei of the Church to keep myfelf warm ; and though I went into the Vaults, and trod on Lady Dueling tons Coftin, I law no Ghoft, and I believe it was owing to the Reafon Mr Long has Riven vou, namely, thai there is no fuch Thing to be feen. As to my part, I would as foon lie all Night in the Church, as in any other Place; and J am fure that any little Boy or Girl, who is good and loves GOT) Almighty, and keeps his Commandments, may as fafely lie in the Church, or the Church-yard, as anv where elfe, if they take Care not to get Cold: for I am fure there are no Ghofts, either to hurt or frighten them; though any one poffefled of Fear might have taken Neighbour Sander- Jin s Dag with his cold Nell, for a Ghoft ;and D if
3 8 The Renowned Hiflory of
if they had not been undeceived, as I was, would never have thought otherwife. All the Company acknowledged the Juftnefs of t'e Obltrvation, and thanked Litiie r her Advice.
REFLECTION.
After this, my dear Children, 1 hope you will not believe any foolifh Stories that igno- rant, weak, or defigt.ing People may tell you about Ghofis ; for the Tales of Gbofts, 1','ttchss and Fairies, *re the Frolics of a diilempered Brain. No wife Man ever faw either of them. Little Margtry you fee was not afraid ; no, {he had gzod Scnje, and a j '^>,d Ccnfchnce> which is a Cure ior ail iliele Evils.
CHAP. VIII.
• netbir.g that kapp?n:d to Half Two- hlioes in a fiarn^ more dreadful than tie Gbcji in the Church ; and bow fie returned Grid fir Evil to bar EneMj, *S/> Tiaioihy.
SOME Days after this, a more dieadfu! Accider;t bet-. ! Lutle i\':adge. ^he hap- pened to be cu^iiug Ute from Teaching,
GOODY TWO-SHOES. 39
xvh^n it rained, thundered, and lightened, and therefore flic took Shelter in a Faraier's Barn, at a Diftance from the Village. Soon
after, the Tempeft drove in four Thieves, who, not feeing fuch a little creep moufe Girl as Two-Shoes^ lay down on the Hay next to her, and began to talk over their Exploits, and to fettle Plans for future Rob- beries. Little Margery on hearing them, covered herfelf with Straw. To be fare (he was fadly frightened, but her good Senfe taught her, that the only fecurity (lie had was in keeping herfelf concealed; therefore (he laid very ilill, and breathed very foftlv. About Four o'clock thefe wicked People came to a Refolution to break both Sir Wil- liam Dov^s Houfe, and Sir Timothy Gripe's, and by Force of Arms to carry off all their D *' Money,
40 The Returned hi/lory <>}
Money, Plate, and Jewels ; but as it was thought theo too late, they agreed to defer it till the next Night. After laying this Scheme, thtv ail ftt out upon their Pranks, u-.v!~h greatly rejoiced Margery as it would any other little Girl in her Situation. Earlv in the Morning fhe went to Sir William % and told him the whole of their Converfation. Upon which, he allied her Name, gave her iomething, and bid her call at his Houfe the D«y following. She alio went to Sir Timothy^ notwithftarding he hsd afed her ib ill ; for (he knew it was her Dury to do Good for Evil. As loon as he was informed who (he was, he took co Notice of her; upon which fte defired to fpeak to Lady Gripe; and having informed her Lady/hip of ti?e Affair, flie went ber Way. This Lady had more Senfe than her Hufband, which indeed is not a fingular Cafe; for initead of defpifiug Little Alargery and her Information, (he privately fet People to guard the Houfe.— -The Rob- bers divided therr.leives, and went about the Time mentioned to both Houfts, and were (nt prized by the Guards, and taken. Upon examining thefe Wretches, ore of which turned Lvidtnce, bodi Sir William and Sir Thxothy found that they ovr. ed their Lives to the DUcovery made by Li'tle Margery; and the firfl took great Notice of her, ar>d would no longer let her lie in a Bare; but ^ r
GOODY TWO-SHOES. 41
Timothy only faid, that he was a (named to owe his Life to the Daughter of one who was his Enemy; io true it is, that a proud Man Jcldom forgives thofe he has injured.
CHAP. IX.
How little Margery was made Principal of a Country College.
MRS Williams, of whom I have given a particular Account in my New Tear's Gift, and who kept a CoLege for in ft rutting lirtie Gentlemen and Ladies in the Science of A, B, C. was at this Time very old and infirm, and wanted to decline that important Tru(t. This being told to Sir William Dove, who lived in the Panlh, he lent for Mrs Williams, and defied (he would examine little Two- Shoes., and fee whether the was qualified for the Office. — This was done, and Mrs Willia*ms made the following Report in her Favour, namely, tha f little Margery was the bejl Scholar , and had the bejt Head, and the bejl Heart, of any onejhe had examined. All the Counrry had a great Opinion of Mrs Williams •, a«d this character gave them alfli a great Opinion ot Mrs Margery; for io we muft now call her.
This Mrs Margery thought the happieft
Period of her Life; but more happinels was
D 3 IB
4* The Renowned Hiftory of
in Store for her: GOD Almighty heaps up Bleflings for all thofc who love him, and though for a Time he may fuffer them to be poor and diftreffed, and hide his good Pur- pofes from human Sight, yet in the End they are generally crowned with Happincfs here, and no one can doubt of their being ib here- after.
On this Occafion the following Hymn, or rather a Tranflation of the Twenty-third Pfalm, is faid to have been written, and was foon after publifhed in ihe Spell at or.
I.
The Lord my Pafture fhall prepare, And feed me with a Shepherd's Care : His Prefence (hall my Wants fupply, And guard me with a watchful Eve; Mv Noon-day Walks he fh'll attend, And all ray Midnight Hours defend.
II.
When in the fultry Glebe I faint, Or on the thirtty Mountain pant, To fertile Vales and dewy Meads, My weary wandering Steps he leads ; Where peaceful Rivers, (oft and flow, • Amid the verdant Landfkip flow.
III.
Tho' in the Paths of Death I tread, With gloomy Horrors o?erfpread,
My
GOODY TWO-SHOES. 43
My fledfaft Heart (hall fear no 111, For thou, O Lord, art with me (till ; Thy friendly Crook (hall give me Aid, And guide me thro' the dreadful Shade.
IV.
Tho* in a bare and rugged Way, Thro' devious lonely Wilds I (bay, Thy Bounty ihall my Pains beguile: 1 he barren Wildernefs (hall fmile, With fudden Greens and Herbage crown'd, And Streams mall murmur all around.
Here Ends the Hiftory of little Two-Shoec. Thofe who would know how (he behaved after (he came to be Mrs Margery Two- Shoes, mult read the Second Part of this Work, in which an Account of the Remainder of her Life, her Marriage, and Death, are fer forth at large, accoiding to Aft of Parliament.
THE
THE RENOWNED
HISTORY
O F
tfrs MARGERY TWO-SHOES.
PART II.
INTRODUCTIOH.
N the firft Part of this Work, the young xStudent has read, and I hope with Pleafure nd Improvement, the Hiftory of this Lady, vhiit me was known and diftinguimed by he Nrame of Litth Two-Shoes; we are now :orrie to a Period of her Life when that Name as difcarded, and a more eminent one be- :owed upon her, I mean that of Mrs Mar* Two Shoes; for as (he was now Prefident f the A, B, C College, it became neceflary :o exalt her in Title as well as in Place. No fooner was (he fettled in this Office,
but
46 The Renowned Hiflory of
but fhe lai i every poflible Scheme to promote the Welfare and H ippinefs of all her Neigh hours, and efpecially of her Lirtle Ones, ia whom ihe took great Delight; and all thofe whofe Parents could not afford to pay for their Education, (he taught for norhing, but the Pleafure fhe had in t.'ieir Company; for you ave to obfjrve, that they were very good, or were foon made fo by her good nicinage- ment.
CHAP. I.
Of her School, her U/hers, or AJJiJlants, and her Manner of Teaching*
WE have already informed the Reader, that the School where fhe taught, was that which was before kept by VLnfriUiamft •wrhofe Character you may 6nd in my New- Tedr's Gift. The Room was large, and as fhe knew that Nature intendedChildren mould be always in Aftion, fhe placed her difFeient Letters, or Alphabets, all round the School, fo that every one was obliged to get up to fetch a Letter, or to fpell a Woid, when it came to their Turn ; which not only kept them in Health, but fixed the Letters and Points firmly in their Minds.
She had the following Affiftants or Uthers to help her, and I will tell you how (he came
by
Mrs MARGERY TWO-SHOES. 47
by them. Mrs Margery, you rmjft know, was very humane and compaffiona'e ; and her Tenderneis extended not only to all Mao- kind, but even to all Animals that were not noxious, as your's ought to do, if you would be happy here, and go to Heaven hereafter. Thefe are GOD Almighty s Creatures as well as we. He m<ide both them and us ; and for wife Purpofes, be(t known to himlelf, oiaced them in this World to live among us ; fo that they are our tellowTenants of the Globe. How then can People dare to torture and wantonly dettroy GOD Almighty's Creatures? They as well as you are capable of feeling Pain, and of receiving Pieafure, and how can you, who want to be made happy yourfelf, delight in making your fellow Creatures miferable? Do you think the poor Birds, whofe Neil and young Ones that wicked Boy, Dick Wilfon% inn away with Yeiterday, do not feel fes much Pain as your Father and Mother would have felt, had any one pulled down tl^eir Ilcufe and ran auay with you? To be fure they do. Mrs Two-Shoes ufed to fprak of thofe Tnings, and of naughty Boys throwing at Cocks, tor- turing Flies, and whipping Ilorfcs and Dogs, with Te<irs in her Eyes, ar.d would never fuf- ftr any one to come to her School who did fo. One Day, as (he was going through the next Village, flic met with tome wicked Boys, who Juti got a young Haven, \\hicii they
were
48 The Renown;* Hi/lory cf
were going to throw at; (he wanted to get the poor Creature out of their cruel Hands, and therefore gave them a Penny for him, and brought him Home. She called his Name Ralph t and a fine Bird he is. Do lock, at hira,
and remember what '-lolomon fiy$, The Eye that defpijeth hit Father, and rcgardetb net the Diftrefs of the Mother, the Ravtris of the Valley Jhtill peck it outy and the young Eagles eat it. Now ihts Bird me caught to fpeak., to fneH, and to read; and as he was particu- larly fond of playing v.ith tht i^jge Letteis, the Children uf;d to call this Ralph's Al- phabet,
A B C D E F G H I J K I. M N O
P Q_R S T U V W X Y Z. He always fat at her Eibow, as you fee in the firft Pidure, and when any of the Chil- dren
Mis MARGERY TWO- SHOES. 49
dren were wrong, fhe ufed to call out, Put them rfgbty Ralph.
Some days after (he had met with the Raven, as (he was walking in the Fields, fhe faw fome naughty Boys, who had taken a Pigeon, and tied a String to its Leg, in order to let it fly, and draw it back again when they pleafed > and by this Means they tortured the poor Animal with the Hopes of Liberty and re- peated Difappointment. This Pigeon fhe alfo bought, and taught him how to fpell and read, though not to talk; and lie performed all thofe extraordinary Things which are recorded of the famous Bird, that was fome Time fince advertifed in the Haymarket, and vifited by mo ft of the great People in rhe Kingdom This Pigeon was a very pretty Fel- low, and fhe called him Tom. See here he is.
And
jo The Renowned Hiftjry of
And as the Raven Ralph was fond of the large Letters, 'Tom thfrftgeon took Care of t.ie iraail Ones, of which he compofed this Alphabet,
abcdefghijklm n o pqr fstuvwxyz.
The N-ighbours knowing that Mrs Two- £rs*.f was very good, as to be fure nobody was better, made her a Prefent of a lutle Sky lark, and a fine Bird he is.
Xow as many Pt'-p'e, even at that Time, ba"i ,e rrvcd o lit i i Hcd lo-'.g in rhe Morning, (he tL ought *n: Lii:k ring:-! be o" ufe to her « • . ; Liptis, ^n-.; (eii mem wf.en to get up.
Fjr /:•.• '/.?' is fr-n: if his Bed, and I ait till
:i but kilt his Days, the re it being
i ,; . •> $kfp, •.. id. is J Ktr.j ofDi'Jt'..
Mrs MARGERY TWO SHOES. 5*
Some Time after this, a poor Lamb had loft iis Dam, and the Farmer being about to kill it, fhe bought it of him, and brought it Home with her to play with the Children, and teach them when to go to Bed ; for it was a Rule with the wile Men of that Age (and a very good one let me tell you) to
Rife with tbff Larkt and lie dviun 'with the Lamb.
This Lan-<b fhe called Will, and a pretty Fellow he is; do look at him.
No fooner was Tippy the Lark, and Will the Ba-larab, brought into the School, but rhat fenfible "Rogue Ralph the Raven, conipofed the following Verfe, which every little Boy and Girl (hould get by Heart.
E ^ Early
51 Tfo Renowned Hiftory qf
Early to Bed, and early to rife, h the Way to be h:althy> and wealthy, and wife.
A fly Rogue; but it is true enough; for thole who do not go to Bed early cannot rife early ; and thofe who do not rife early cannot do much Bufinefs. Pr;<.y, let this be told at the Court, and to People who have Routs and Rackets.
Soon after this, a Prefent was made to Mrs Margery, of little Dog Jumper y and a preuy Dog is he. Pray, look at him.
Jumper, Jumper, Jumper! He is always in a good Humour, and playing and jumping about, and therefore he was called 'jumper. The Place aiTigmd for Jumper was that of keeoinc the Door. Co that he may now be
called
Mrs MARGERY TWO-SHOES. 53
called the Porter of the College, for he would let nobody go out, or any one come in, without the Leave of his Miltrefs. See how he fits, a faucy Rogue.
Billy the Ba-Jamb <vas a chearful Ftllow, and all the Children were fond of him, where- fore Mrs Tiu9-Sbocs made it a Rule, that thofe who behaved beft mould have Will Home with them at Night to cany tneir Sat- chel or Bofket at his Back, and bring it in the Morning. Turn back and fee what a line Fellow he is, and how he muiges aioog,
CHAP. II.
A Scene of Dijlrefs in tie School.
IT happened one Day, wh-n Mrs 7w?- Shoes was divfcfting the Children after Dinner, as Ihe uftuily dul with ib?ne inoocent Games, o/ entertaining and inltru<fti?e Stories, that a Mao arrived with the melancholy News of Salty J0«tf/'s Father being thrown from his Horfe, and thought part all recovery ; nay, the MefTenger laid, that he was ieem- ingiy dying when he came away. Poor Sally. was greatly dittreffed, as mdetd were ail the School, for me dearly loved her Father, and Mrs Two-Shoes* and all the Children dearly loved her. It is generally fi:d, that we never know the real Value of eui Purcnu vi Fi rends E 3 till
54
The Rennuned Hiftory
till we have loft them; but poor Sally felt this by Affetfiun, and her Miltrefs knew it by Experience. Ail the School were in Tears, and the Meffeoger was obliged to re- turn; but before he went, Mrs Tiuo Shoes* unknown to the Children, ordered Tom Pigeon to go Home with the Man, and bring a Letter to inform her how Mr Jones did. They fet oot together, and the Pigeon rode on the Mao's Head las you fee here); for
th«? M?.n was able to carry the Pigeon, though the Pigeon was not able to carry the Man ; if he had, they would have been there much fooner, for Tom Pigeon was very good, and never ftaid on an Errand.
Soon after the Man was gone, the P;g-on was loft, and the Concern the Children were
oodcr
Mrs MARGERY TWO-SHOES. 55
under for Mr Jones and little Sally was in fome Meafure diverted, and Pirt of their Attention turned after Tom, who was a great Favourite, and confequently much bewailed. Mrs Margery, who knew the great Ufe and NecefHty of teaching Ci'ildien to fubmit chearfully to the Will of Providence, bid them wipe away their Tears, and then kiffed Sally. You mu(t be a good Girl, fays flie, and depend upon GOD Almighty for his Blef- fing and Proteclion ; for he h a Father to the Fatherlefs, and defendcth all thofs 'who put their Trujl in him. She then told them a Story, which I fhall relate in as few Words as pollibie.
7k: Hijlory of Mr Lovewell, Father to Lady Lucy.
rfa.
Mr Loveivell was born at Bath, ahd ap- prenticed to a laborious Trade in London, which being too hard for him, he parted *ith his Mafter by Confent, and hired hinrcfelf as a common Servant to a Merchant in the City. Here he fpent his letfure Hours, nor as Ser- vants too frequently do, in Drinking and Schemes of Pleafure, but in improving his Mind ; and among other Acquirements, he made himfelf a complete Mafter of Accompts. His Sobriety, Honefty, and the Regard he paid to his Matter's Intcreit, greatly recom- mended
56 The Renowned Hijlery of
mended him in the whole Family, and he had ieveral Offices of Trull committed to his Charge, in which he acquitied himfelf fo well, that the .Merchant remo?ed him from the Srable into tnc Counting houie.
Here he foon nude himielf Mailer of the Bulioefs, and became To ufeful to the Mer- chant, that in Regard to his faithful Services, and the Affeclion he had for him, he married him to his own Niece, a prudent agreeable young L?cy; «nd gave bfrn a Share in the Bcfmefs. See what Honefty and Indullry will do for us. Half the great Men in Lon- don, I am toid, havt made themfelves by this Means ; ard who would but be noneit and industrious, when it is To much our In- terelt and our Dutv.
After feme Years the Merchant died, and left Mr Lo'+wfli L oifefT d of many fine Ships at Sea, and much M,/ney ; and he was happy in a Wife, wno h*d brought him a Son and f.'. o Daughters, ail beautiful and obc. Tt-e Treafures and j-oou Things, however, of this Lite, are fo uncertain, that a Man can never be happy, unlefs he lays the Founda- tion for ii in h:s own Mind. So true is that Copy in cur Writing Books, which tells us, that a contented blind is a continual Feaji*
After lb;nj Y^a>s fuccefsful Trade, be tlio.ght his CircuzuLtsnces fufrcient to injure hU own Snips., or, ID other Words, to fend
I ii
Mrs MARGERY TWO-SHOES. 57
bis Ships and Goods to Sea without being infured by others, as is cuftomavy among Merchants; when, unfortur aieiy for him, four of them richly laden were loft at Sea. This he fupported with becoming Refolu- tion; but the next Mail brought him Advice, that nine others were taken bv the trench, with whom we were then at War; and this, together with the Failure ct three foreign Merchants whom he had truiled, compleated his Ruin. He was then obliged to call his Creditors together, who took his Effctfs, and being angry with him for the imprudent Step of not infuring his Ships, left him deltitute of all Subfiftence. Ncr did the Fiatterers of his Fortune, thofe who had lived by his Bounty when in his Prof perky, pay the leatt Regard either to him or his Family. $o true is another Copy, that you will find in your Writing Book, which fays, Misfortunes try our Friends. All thofe Slights of his pre- lended Friends, and the ill ufage of his Cre- ditors, both he and his Family bote with Chnftian Fortitude: but other Calamities fell upon him, which he fell more fenfibly.
In this Diitrtrfs, one of his Relations, who lived at Florence, offered to take his Son, and another, who lived at' Barbados, lent for one of his Daughters. This Ship which his Son failed in was caft away, and all the Crew fuppofed to be loft j and the Ship, in which
his
58 The Renvwncd Hiftory of
his D^irchter went a Pafltnger, was taken by Pirates, and one Poft brought the miferabie Father an Account of the Lofs of his two Childrea. — This was t >e feverefl Stroke of all: Ii made him completely wretched, and lie knew it mult have a dreadful Effect on his W;fe and Daughter; he rheiefore en ieavour- ed to conceal it from th^m. But tru perpe- tual Anxiety he was in, together with the Lots of his Appetite and Want of Reft, loon alarmed his Wife. She found forne- thing was labouring in his Breaft, which was concealed from her ; and one Night being diftu'btd in a Dream, with what was ever in his Thought, and c:<I ing out upon his dear Children ; me awoke him, and infifted upon knowing the Caufe of his Inquietude. Nothing, my Dear, nothing* fays he. The L"rd gave, and the Lord hath taken anvaj, blej/ed he the Name of the Ltrd. This was fufHcient to alarm the poor Woman ; (he lay till his Spirits were compofed, and as {he thought afleep, then ftealing out of Bed, got the Keys and opened the Bureau, where fh'j founl the fatal Account. ID the Height of her Diftraclions, fhe flew to her Daugh- ter's Room, and waking her with her Shrieks, put the Letters into her Hands. The yoong Lndy. unable to fupport the Load of Mifery, fell into a Fit from which it wks thought (he never could have been recovered. How- ever,
Mrs MAttGERY TWO SHOES. 59
ever, at 1 aft (he revived; but the Shock was fo great, that it emiiely deprived her of her Speech.
Thus loaded with Mifery, and unable to bear the Slights and Difdains of thofe who had formerly profefled themfelves Friends, this unhappy Family retired into a Country, where they were unknown, in order to hide themfelves from the World; wlun, to fup- port their Independency, the Father la- boured as we!l as he could at Hufbandry, and the Mother and Daughter fometirnes &ot Spinning and Kniuting Work, to htlp to furnifh the Means of Subfiftence ; which however was fo precarious and uncertain, that they often, for many Weeks together, lived on nothing but Cabbage and Bread boiled in Water. But GOD never forfaketh the Righteous, nor iufFcreth thole to perifh who put their Truft in him. At this Time a Liidy, who was juft come to England* fent to cake a plea fan t Se«t ready fuinilhed in that Neighbourhood, and the Per fun w ho was employed for the Purpole, was ordered to deliver a Bank Note of .»n Hundred Pounds to Mr Lovewell, another Hundred to his Wife, and fifty to »)ie Daughter, defiring them to take Pofleffion of xr.e Houfe, and get it well aired againit flie came down, which would be in two or three Days at moft. Tins, to People who were aimoll iUrving,
was
6o Ths Renowned Hifloty of
was a fweet and feafonable Relief, and they were ail felicitous to know their Ber»efa<ftrefs, but or that the MefTenger himfelf was too
ignojant to inform them. However, (he
came down fooner than was expected, and with Tears embraced them again and again: After which fhe told the Father aud Mother (he had heard from thert Daughter, who was her Acquaintance, and »hat fhe was well, and on her Re«urn to England. This was the agreeaSie Subject of their Converfation, till aher Dinner, when drinking their Healths, flie again with Tears faiuted them, and fal« ling upon her Knees *iked their Blellings. —
'Tis impolTibie to exprefs the mutual Joy which this occasioned.—- Their Converfation w?.s made up of the mo!> endearing Expref- fions, intermicgUd with Tears and Carefles.
Their
Mrs MARGERY TWO.SHOES. 6t
Their Torrent of Joy, hpwever, was for a Moment interrupted, by a Chariot vyhich topped at tbe Gate, and which brought, as they thought, a very unfeafonable Vititoy, and therefore fhe ient to be excuied frpni ieeing Company.
But this had ooE&ct, for a Gentleman richly drefTed jomped out of the Chariot, and |>ur- fuiug the Servant into the Parlour, faluted them round, H'ho \vere a!i a'for.ifhed at h s Behaviour. But when the Tears trickled from his Cheeks, the Daughter, xvho had been fonie Ye^^s d«mV>, «n)rnediaielv cried out, Mv Brother ! my Brother ! My Brother ! and from tnat Inftant recovered her Speech.
The mutual Joy which this occafioned,
is better felt than exprefled. Thofe who
have proper Sentiment? of Humanity, Grati F
6 1 The Renowned Ktjlory of
titude, and fi'ial Piety, will rejoice at the Event; and thofe who have a proper Idea of the Goodnefs of GOD and his gracious Pro* vide, ce, will from this, as \ve;l as other In- irances of his Goodnefs ?nd Mercy, glorify his holy Name, and magnify hisWifdomand Power, who is a Shield to the Righteous, and defendeth all thole who put their Trull in him.
As vou, my dear Children, may be folici- tous to kno'v Low this happy Event was brought about, I rr.uft inform you, that Mr Love-weir^ Son, when the Ship foundered, hdd, with iome others, got into the Long- boat, and w;.s t.>ken up by a Ship at Sea, and carried to the E .(i I'dits, uhere in a littlt TiKie he made a large Foitune ; and the Pirates, who took his Daughter, attempted to rob her of her Chaltity ; but finciog her inflexible, and d-ttrmined to die rather -run to fubmit, fume of them behaved to her in a very cruel Manner; but others, who had more Honour and Generolity, became Her Defendants ; upon which a Qu.lrrel arofe be- tween them, and the Captain, who was the v/oril of the Gang, being killed, the reft of the Crew carried the Ship into a Port of the Manilla Iflands, belonging TO the Spaniards; v.'here, when her Story w^.s known, foe was treated with great Relpecl, and courted by a young Gentleman, who was taken i!1 of a
Fever,
Mrs MARGERY TWO SHOES. 63
Fever, and died before the Marriage was agreed on, but left her his whole Fortune,
You fee, rnv dear Sally, how woodeifully thefe PeopTe were preitived, and madehnppy after inch extreme Diftieis; we are tr.tre- fore never 10 defpair, tven under the greateit Misfortunes, tor GOD Almighty is All- powerful, and can deliver us at any T inie. Remember Job, but I think you have not read fo far; take the Bible, Billy Jones , and read the Hiftory of th*t good and patient Ma.n. At this Inftant ibrnething wns heard to flap at the Window, /fi/w, iu<?w, ayotu, iays Jumper , end attempted to leap up and open the boor, at which the Children were furprized; but Mrs Margery knowing what it was, opened the Cafcment, as Noah d-'d the Window of the Ark, and drew in Tom Pigeon with a Letter, and fee here he is.
64 The Renowned Htftory of
As foon as he was placed on the Table, he walked up to little Sally, and dropping the Letter, cried Ci, Co, Coo> as much as to fay, there read it. Now this poor Pigeon had travelled fifty Miles in about an Hour, to bring Sally this Letter, and who would deltroy fuch preity Creatures, — But let us read the Letter. My dear Sally,
GOD Almighty has been very merciful, and reftored your Papa to us again, who is now fu well as to be able to /it up. " I hear you are a good Girl, my Dear, and I hope you will ne?er forget to praife the Lord for this his great Goodnefs and Mercy to us,-— Wh?.t a lad Thing it would have been if your Father had died, and left both you and me, and little Tommy in Diltrefs, and without a Friend: Your Father fends his Blefling with mine.— Be good, my dear Child, and GOD Almighty will a!fo blefs you, whole Bltffing is above all Things.
/ amt my dear Sally,
YSUT ever dffettionate Mother t
MARTHA JONES.
CHAP.
Mrs MARGERY TWO-SHOES. 65
CHAP. III.
Of the amazing Sagacity and InJlinB of a tittle Dog.
SOON after this, a dreadful Accident hap- pened in the School. It was on a Thurf- day Morning, I very well remember, when ihe ChildreR having learned their Leflbns foon, (he had given ihem Leave to play, and they were all running about the School, and diverting themfelves with the Birds and the Lamb; at this Time the Dog, all of a fVd- den, hid hold of his Mittrefs's Apron, and endeavoured to pull her out of the SchocJ. She was at firft fur prized ; however, (he fol- lowed him to lee what he intended. #o
fooner haJ he led her into tne Garden, but he ran back, and pulled oat one of the Chil- dren in the fame Manner; upon which fhe ordered them all to leave the School imme- diately, and they had not been out five Mi- nutes, before the Top of the Houfe fell in, What a miraculous Deliverance was here ! How gracious i How good was Goo Almighty, to fave all thefe Children from D (trudion, and to make ufe cf Inch an In- ftrumtnt, as a little iagacious Animal, to accomplifh his Divine Will. I fhould have obiei vcd, that as ibon as they were ail in the F 3 Gar
66 Tbf
Garden, the Dog came leaping round them to exprefs his [oy, anJ wheo the iloule was fallen, laid himidf dawn quietly by his Miftrefs.
Some of the Neighbours who faw the School fall, and who were in great Pain for IWargery and the little Ones, icon fpread tiic News through the Village, and all the Pa- rents, terrified for their Children, cams crowding in Abundance ; they had, however, the Satisfaction to find them ali fife, and upon their Knees, with their Mifbtls, giving God Thanks for their happy
ADV i c E ft -om the MAS in the MOON.
Jumper, Jumper, Jumper^ whst a prettv Dog he is, and how {enable : Had Mankind half the Sagacity of Jumpfr* thev would guard ao;ain(f Accidents of this Sort, by having a public Survey occasionally imde of all the Houies in every PanOi (efnccislly of thofe which arc old and decayed) and not iaffer them to remain in a crazy Stace, 'till they fall down on the Heads of the poor Inha- bitants, and crutfi them to De^tli. Why, it was but Yeirerdav, t^at a whole Houfe ffii down in Gracechurcb fire ef, and another in Queen ftrcet, and an hundred more are to lc bciore this Time twelve Months ; fo
Friends
Mrs MARGERY TWO- SHOES. 67
Friends take Care of yourfelves, and tfll the Legislature, they ought to take Care for you. How can you be foc^relefs? Mo ft of your Evils arife from CareldTnefs and Extra- vagance, and yet you excufe yourfelves,. and lay the Fault upon Fortune. Fortune is a Fool, and you *>c a Blockhead, if you put it in her Power to play Tricks with you.
The MAN in the MOON.
You are not to wonder, my dear Reader, that this little Dog fhould have more Senfe than you, or your Father, or your Grand- father.
Though GOD Almighty has made Man the Lord of the Creation, and endowed him wiih Reafon, vet «u many Ref peels, he has been altogether as bountiful to other Creatures of his forming. Some of the Senfes of other Animals are more acute than others, as we find by daily Experience. You know this
liitfo
The Renowned Hijloiy of
little Bird, fweet Jug, Jug, Jug, 'tis a Nightingale. This Httle Creature, after (he has entertained us with her Songs all the Spring, and bred up her little Ones, flies into a foreign Country, and finds her Wav over the Great Sea, without any of the Inftru- ments a^d Helps which Men are obliged to m.ke ufe of for that Purpofe. Was you as wife as the Nightingale, you might make all the S?ilors happy, and have Tuenty Thou- fand Pounds for teaching them the Longitude. You would not think Ralph the Raven half fo wife and fo good as he is, though you fee
him here reading his Book. Yet when the
Prophet Elijah was obliged to fly from Ababt King of Jfrar/, and hide himfeif in a Cave, the Ravens, at the Command of GOD Al- mightv, fed him every D*y, aod preferved
his Life. .
Jtr.d
Mrs MARGERY TWO-SHOES. 69
dnd the Word tfthe Lord came unto Elijah, faying, Hide tbyjelf by the Brook Cherith,//^/ is before Jordan, and I have commanded the Ravens to ft id thee ihere. 4nd the Ravent brought him Bread and Flejh in the l\lorningy and Bread and Fle/h in the Evening, and hs drank of the tirooks. Kings, ft. i C. 17
And tht pretty Pigeons, when the World was confined with Noah in the Ark, was fent forth by him to fee whether the Waters were abated. And he fent forth a Dove from him, t'jfee if the Waters were abated from off the Face of the Greund. And the Dove came in to him in the Evening ; and h, in her Mouth *was an Olive Leaf plucked off : So Noah knew that the Waters nvere abated from off the Earth. Gen. viii. 8, u.
As thefe, and other Animals, are fo fend- ble and kind to us, we ought to be tendef and good to them, and not beat them about and kill them, and take away their young ones, as many wicked Boys do. Does not rhe Horfe and the Afs carry you and your Bur- thens ? don't the Ox plough your Ground ? the Cow give you Milk, the Sheep clothe your Back, the Dog watch your Houfe, the Goofe find y u in Quills to write with, the Hen bring £ggs for your Cuftards and Puddings, and the Cock call you up in the Morning, when you are lazy, and like to hurt your- fclves by laying too long in Ikd ? If fo, how
can
70 The Renowned Hi/lory t/f
can you be fo cruel to them, and abufe GOD Almighty's good Creatures? Go, naughty Boy, go; be furry for what you have done, and do fo no more, that God Almighty may forgive vou. Amen^ fay I, again and again. GOD will blefs you, but not unlefs you are merciful and good.
T..e Downfal of the School, was a greit Misfortune to Mrs Margery ; for (he nut only loft all her Books, but was deiKtute cf a Place. to teach in; but Sir William Dtvc, be- ing informed of this, ordered the Hpufe to be built at his own Expence, and till that could be done, Farmer Grove was fo kind, as to be let her have his large 11*11 to teach in.
The Hoafe built by Sir William, had a Statue erected over the Door, of a Boy Hid- ing on the Ice, and under it were thefc Lines, written by Mrs T*v9-SA oss, and engraved at her Expence.
Mrs MARGERY TWO SHOES. 71
On SIN: A SIMILE.
As a poor Urchin on the Ice, When he has tumbled once or twice, With cautious Step, and trembling goes, The Drop ftill pendant on his Nofe, And nudges on to feek the Shore, Rtiblv'd to trutt the Ice no more: But meeting with a during Mate, Who often us'd to flide and ikate, Again is into Danger ltd, And fail again and breaks his Head.
So Youth when firft they're drawn to fin, And fee the Danger ihey are in, Would gladly quit the Thorny Way, And think it is unfafe to ftay ; But meeting with their wicked train, Return with them to (in again ; Wnh them the Pnths of Vice explore, With them are luiu'd tver-moic.
CHAP IV.
What happened at Farmer Grove's ; and kow foe gratified bimfor the Ufe vfbis Room. x
WHILE at Mr Grove i, wlrch was in the Heart of the Village, (he not only taught the Children in the Day Time, but
the
7* Tie Renwned Hijlw cf
the Farmer's Servants, and all the Ntighbours, to read an<j write in the Evening; and it was a conilant Pra6iice before they went away, to make them all go to Prayers and fing Pfalms. fiv this Means, the People grevv extremely repuUr" his Seivants were alio at Home, iniiead or being a.t the Ale houle, and he bad moie Wurii done than ever. Tins gave not only Mr Grcvf, but ail the Neigh- bours, an high Opinion or' her good Senfe and prudent Behaviour : And fiie was fo much efteemed, that moft of the D fFereoces in the Parifli were leftio her Decifion ; and if a Mao and Wife quarrelled (which fometimes hap- pened in that Part of the Kingdom) both Par- ties certainly came to her for Advice. Every Body koows that Martha IViifon was a paf- fionate fcolding Jade, and that John her Hufband was « iuriy i!}- tempered Fdlow. Thefe were one Day brought ty th« Neigh- bours, for Margerv to taik to theru, when they fairly quanefled before her, and wer-c going to Blows, but ihe (topping between them, tnus addreHld ihc [lufbaod : Jtkn, fays fhe, you are a M in, and ought to have more Senfe than to fly vn a Pailion, at eveiv Word that is faidamifs by your Wife; wAMarfba, fays fhe, you ought to know your Duty bet- ter, than to fav any Thing to aggravate your Hu (band's Refentment. Thefe frequent Quarrels arife from Uie Indulgence of yo»:r ^* violent
Mrs MARGERY TWO-SHOES. 73
arife from the Indulgence of your violent Palfions; for I know you both Jove one another, notwithitanding what has paiTed between yo^. Now, pray tell me John, and tell me Martha, when you have had a Quar- rel over Night are you not both forry for it the next Day ? They both declared that they were: Way then, fays (he, I'll tell you how to prevent this for the Future, if you will both promife to take my Advice. They both p: umifed her. You know, lays (he, that a fmall spark will fetFite toTmdcr, and that Tinder properly placed will fiie a Houfe; an angry Word is with you as that Spark, for you arc both as touchy as Tinder, and very often make your own Houfe too hot to hold you. To prevent this, therefore, and to live happily for the future, you muir iplemnly agree, that if one ipeaks an angry Word, the other will not anfwtr, 'till he or fhe has diltinclly called over, all the Letters in the Alphabet, and the other not reply, 'till he has toid twenty; by this Means your Pailions will be ftifled, and Reafon will have Time to take the Rule.
This is the belt Recipe that was ever given for a married Couple to live in Peace : Though John and his Wife frequently at- tempted to quarrel afterwards, they never could get their Paflions to any confiderable Height, for there was fomething fo droll io G thus
74 The Renowned Hi/lory of
thus carrying on the Difpme, that before tl-ey got to the End of the Argument, they faw the Abfirduy of it, laughed, kifFed, and v/ere Friends.
Juft as Mrs Margery had fettled this Diffe- rence between John and his Wife, the Chil- dren, (who had been Tent out t' play, while that Rufinefs was tranfacling) returned, forne in Tears, and others very difconfolate, for the Loft of a lit tie Dorrr.cufe they were very fond of, and which was juit dead. Mrs Mar- gen, who had the An of moralizing ard drawing Inftruclions from every Accident, took ibis Opportunity of reading the.™ a lecture on the Uncertainty of Life, and the Necefiity of being ataays prepaid for Dea^h. You ihould cet up in the Morning, fays flie, and fo conduct vourfelves, as if that Day were to be your laft, and lie down at Night, is if vou never expend to fee the World any more. Th;s may be done, fays me, •without abating of your Chearfulnefs, for you are not to confider De^.th a^ an Evil, but as a Convenience, as an ufeful Pilot, who 13 to convey yvj :o a Phce of preaier Happi- nels: Tlierefore, play, my dear Children, and be merry ; but be innocent and good. The good man fets D:nth at Defiance, for his Dirts a^e only dreadful to the Wicked-
After this (he 'permitted the Children to
bury
Mrs MARGERY TWO-SHOES. 75
bury the little Dormoufe, and defired one of rac ii to write his Epitaph, and here it is
Epitaph GH a DORMOUSE, really written by a little BOY.
I.
In Paper Cafe,
Hard by this Place* Dead a poor Dormoufe lies;
And foon or late,
Summon'd by Fate, £ach Prince, each Monarch dies.
II.
Ye Sons of Verfe,
While I rehearfe, Attend inftru&ive Rhyme;
No Sins had Dor
To anfwer for, Repent of yours in Time,
CHAP. V.
The whole Hijiory of the Confide ring Cap, fel forth at large for_ the Benejit of all 'whom it may concern*
HE great Reputation Mrs Margery ac- quired by compofmg Differences in Fa- G 2
T
76 The Renowned Hijltry of
milies, fend efpeciallv between Man and Wife, induced her to cultivate that Part of her Syttem of Morality and Oeconomy, in oider
to render it moie extenfively ufefui. For
this Purpofe, fhe contrived uhat ftie called a Charm for the -Pailu-os ; which was a Con- fideringCap, almoit ;;s Urge as a Grenadier's, but of three equai Sides; on the finl of which was \\vitten, 1 MAY BE \VRONG; on the fecond, IT is FIFTY TO OKE BUT YOU
ARE: and ofe the third, T'I L co%;?ir>ER OF JT. The other Parts, en the Out-fide, vtre filled vv;th odd Ch?\ra6i"rs, a? unin'eHigibleas the W> itinp;s of the oM ^ -}^:^t'"jns; hut with'n- iide there was a Direction for its Ufe, of the utmod Ccnfeqiu'nce ; it ftrictly erjoir.ed (he PoffeiTor to put on the Cap whenever he found
his
Mrs MARGERY TWO-SHOES. 77
his PaJTions beuin ro g< o-.v turbulent, and not to deliver a Word whiltt it was on, but with great C -olneU and Moderation. As t -is Cap was an univerfa! Cure for Wrong-headednefs, and prevented numberlefs Dilputes and Quar- rels, it greatly Hurt tfte Trade of the poor Lawyers, but was of the utnioir. Service to the Reit of the Community. They were bought bv Hufbinds and Wives, who h;id themtdves frequent Occauon for them, and fometimes lent them to their Children: They were alfo pur chafed in large Quantities by Maiters arid Servants; by young Folks, who were intent en Matrimony; by Judges, Jurymen, and even Phyfimns and Divirus; navs if we may believe Hiltory, the LcgiiLitors of the Land did not diuhin the Ufe of them ; and we are t^id, that when any important DeSr.tc arofe, Cap, iv>fs the <uj?rjt »nd each Houfe looked like a grand Synod of Egyptian Prieffs. Nor uas this Cap of lefs Ufe to Partners in Trade, .for with thefe, as we)! as \vith Kufbands and Wives, if one was out of Humour, the other threw him the Cap, and l*e was obi g°d to puc ir on, and keep it till all \vss quiet, I rnyfclf faw thirteen Caps worn at a Time in one Family, which could not have fubfif'ed an Hour without them ; and 1 was particularly pleafed at Sir Humphrey Htffunfat to he;:r a little Girl, when her Father was uut oi J-Iamour, afl« her Mamma, G 3 //
The Renowned Htftory of
*f foe fiould reach d&wn the Cap? Thefe Caps, iridetd, were of fuch Utility, that People of Scnfe never went without them ; and it was common in the Country, when l Booby made his Appearance, and talked Nonfenfe, to fay^ he had no Cap in his Pccket*
Advice from FRIAR BACON.
What was Fortunatusys WifhingCap, when compared to this? That Cap is faid to have conveyed People inftanily from one Place to another; but, as the Change of Place does not change the Temper and Difp fiti^n of the Mind, little Benefit can be exps£l>d from it; nor indeed is much to be hoped from his famous Purfe: That Purfe, it is Aid, was never empty, and fuch a Purfe may be fome- times convenient j but as Money will not
pur-
Mrs MARGERY TWO-SHOES. 79
purchafe Peace, it is not neceflary for a Man o encumber himfelf with a great Deal of it. Peace and Happinefs depend fo'much upon he State of a Man's own Mind, and upoo ihe Ufe of the Confidering Cap, that it is ge- icrally his own Fault, if he is miferable. One uf thefe Caps will laft a Man his whole Life, and is a Difcovery of much greater Import- ance to the Public than the Philofopher s Stone. Remember what was faid by my >razen Head, Time is, Tints 'was, Tims is i>ajt: Now the Time is, therefore buy the Jap immediately, and make a proper Ufe of it, and be happy before the Time is pajf.
Tours,
ROGER BACO*.
d H A P. VI.
tioiv Mrs Margery ivas taken up for a Witch % and 'what happened on thatt Occc(fion»
ND fo it is true? And they have taken up Mrs Margery then, and accufed her f being a Witch, only becaufe fhe was wifer han fome of her Neighbours ! Mercy Opon me ! People ftuffChildren's Heads with Stories of Ghofts, Fairies, Witches, and fuch Noa- fenfe, when they are young, and fo they
A
So Tkf Rcnvvjxed Hi/loty of
continue Fools all their Days. The who!- AVorld ought to be made acquainted \w./i her Gale, and hete it is at their Service.
The Cafe cf Mrs MARGERY.
Mrs Margery, as we have frequently oh- ferved, was always doing Good, and thought fte could never Efficiently gratify thofe who h.';d done any Thing to f^rve her. Thffe generous Sentiments naturally led her to con- fult the Jntereli of Mr Grc-je> and the reft of her Neighbours; and as molt of their Lands were Meadow, ard they depended much on their Hav, which had been for manv Years greatly damaged bv wet Weather, fhe CHQ- trived an In-tru^ent to d :td them when to mo'.v tHeir Gra(s with Safety, and prevent t.ieir Hay being fpuiltd They ail came to htr for /\.-i\ice, and by that Means got in their F^v uitho'U Damace, while moi* (>f that in tiie neighbouring Viflages v. as ipoiifd.
This made a great Ncife in the Co.nt>y, an<^ A» provoked •-. ere the P-ropie in r-e ot:,er P*rifh:S, that thev accuied > er c-f b '. \Vitcn, and f;
reiio'.v in oih^r P.i . Le*s Concerns, to find out Evidence ajrci'r.ll her. This Wifeacre hnp'^cnec! to come to her School, uhf,n foe was walking about xviih tl.e Ra'-L.~ > : -- Siioulder, the Pigeon on the other, the Lark
oa
Mrs MARGERY TWO-SHOE?,. Si
on her Hand, and the Lamb and the Dog by her Side ; which indeed made a drull Figure, and fo furprized the Man, that he cried out,
A Witch ! a Witch ! upon this (lie, lauphinpr, anfwered, A Conjurer ! a Co; jurer ! and fo they parted; but it did not end thus, for a Warrant was ifFued out again 11 Mrs Margery, and (lie was carried to a Meeting of the JufHces, whither all the Neighbours followed her.
At t^p Meeting;, one of the Juftices, who knew 1 trie of Life, and lefs of the Law, be- haved very icilv; and though no Body was ab)e to prove any Thing againtt her, fk^d, who fhe could bring ro her Character? Who can you bring againlfr my Oaracler, Sir» fjys
(lie.- There are People enough who would
appear in my Defence, were it necefiary; but
I
8z The Renowned Hifl&ry of
I never fuppofed that any One here could he fo weak, as to believe there was any fuch Thing as a Witch If I am a Witch, this is my Charm. and (laying a Barometer or Wea- ther GUIs on the Tab'e) it is with this fhvs (he, iha: I have taught my Neighbours to know the State of the Weather.— All the Company laughed ; and Sir IViiiiam Dove, who WeS on the Bench, allied her Accufers, how tney could be fuch Fools, as to think there was any fuch Thing as a Witch? It is true, continued he, many innocent and worthy People have been abated and even murdered on this abfurd and even foolifh .Supposition ; which is a Scandal to our Religion, to our Laws, to our Nation, and to common Senfe: but I will tell you a Story.
There was in the Weil of England, a poor induftrious Woman, who laboured under the fame evil Report, which this good Woman is acculcd of. Every Hog that died with the Murrain, every Cow that dipt her Calf, me was accountable for : If a Horfe had the Staggers, fhe was fuppofed to be in his Head ; and whenever the Wind blew a little harder than ordinary, Goody Giles was playing her Tricks, and riding upon a Broomftick in the Air. Thefe, and a thoufand other Phan- tafies, too ridiculous to recite, poffefled the Pates of the common People: Horlc-fhoes were nailed with the Heels upwards, and
many
Mrs MARGERY TWO-SHOES. 83
many Tricks made ufe of, to mortify the poor Creature; and fuch was their Rage again!! her, that thev petitioned Mr Williams, the P^rlon of the Parifh, not to let her come to Church; and, at Inft, even infifttd upon it: But this he over ruled, and allowed the poor old Woman a Nook in one of the Ifles to her- felf, where (he muttered over, 'her Prayers in the beft Manner (he could. Th? Parifh, thus disconcerted and enraged, withdrew the fmall Pittance they allowed for her Support, and \vcvjld have reduced her to the NecefTny of Starving, h*d fhe not been itill aflifted by the benevolent Mr Williams.
But I hailen to the Sequel of my Story, in which you will find, that the true Source from whence Witchcraft fprings is Poverty-, s?v?, and Ignorance ; and that it is impofiible for a Woman to pafs for a Witch, unlefs fiie is very poor, very ild, and lives in a Neigh- bourhood where the People wzvoid of common Scnfe.
Sometime after, a Brother of her's died in Lwtfn, vvho, though he would not Part with a Farthing while he lived, at his Death was obliged to leave her Five Thonfand Pounds,
that he could not carrv with him. This
altered the Face of Jane's Affairs prodi- gioufly : She was no longer Jane^ alias Joan C-;les, the ugly old Witch, but Madam Giles\ her- old ragged Garb was exchanged for one
that
84 7*ta Renowned Hi/lory of
that wss new and genteel ; her greatett Ene- mies made their Court to her, even the JufHce himiVlf came »o with her Joy; and though feveral Hogs and Horfes died, and the Winu frequently blew afterwards, yet Madam Giles was never fuppofed to have a Hand in it ; and from hence it is plain, as I obferved before, that a Woman mult be very poor, vsty old, and live in a Neighbourhood, wntre the Pe-'ple are vsryjlupidt before the can poflibly pafs for a Witch.
Twas a Saying of Mr Williams^ who would fo.netimes be jocoifc, and had the Art of making even Satire agreeable: that if ever yawe- dc^tf fed the Character of a WJtch, it was after this Money w<is \-:\\. her; for that with her Five Thoufond Pound?, ihe^did ni;re Acts of Cr.«.r.tv^and friend i_y O;ti -e% than all the People of Fortune within utty Miles of the Pi ce.
After rhis, Sir William inveighed agamic the abiurd and foobih Notions, which the Country People hr.d inibibvd concerning Hi'ches, and Vvitchcr^ft. and having proved that tiiere was no iuch Thing, but that ail \vere the EfFtcls cf F« liy and Ignorance, hs cave the Cou<t iurh an Account of M-'S Mxrgery, -nd her Vinue, g; ud Senfe, and prurient Behaviour, th<u the G. lultnun pre- icnt \vere enamoured \vi-.h her, and returned ber public Thanks ipi vhc gicui Service me
had
Mrs MARGERY TWO-SHOES. 85
had done the Country. One Gentleman in particular, I me.n Sir Charles Jones, had conceived fuch an high Opinion of her, that he offered «>er a confiderabie Sum to take the Care of his Family, and the Education of his Daughter, which, however, (he refufed; but this Gentleman, fending for her afterwards when he had a dangerous Fit of Ulneis. fhe went, and behaved fo prudently in the Family, and fo tenderly to him and His. Daughter, that he would not permit her to Itave his Houf-r. but foon after made her Propofals of Marriage. Sr»e w«s truly fenfib'le of the Honour he intended her, but, though poor, fhe would not confent to be made a Lady, till he haJ effectually provided for his Da^c;!)- ter; for (he told iiiui, that Power was a dangerous Thing ro b~ t rutted with, and that a good Man or Woman would n«.vei ihro\w themlelves into the Road of Temptation.
All Tilings being fettled, and the Day fixed, the Neighbou-s came in Croucs to ice the Wedding; for they weie al! j,'iad, that cne who had b*jen inch a good little Gil, and was become fuch a virtuuu> ai d good Woman, w«sjult going to be male al.ady; but juit as the Clergyman had opewid his l»ook, a Geutlenjiti richly drsflcJ ran into the Church, and cried. Stop ! ilop ! Tfrs greatly alarmed the Congregation, p-trticniaiiy the i«it«<ided Biiae and Br»atyOou>j u-hum he H fiift
The Renowned Hiftory of
firft acco'led, and defined to fpeak with them apsrt. After thev had been talking fpme Jittle lime, the People were greatly furprized lo fee Sir Charles ft;ir.d motioniefs, and his Bride cry, and faint au-ay in the Stranger's Arm?. This Teeming Grief, however* was only a Prelude to a Flood of Joy, which im- roed'ately fucceeded ; for you muft know, gentle Reader, that this Gen'kman, fo richly drafted and bedizened with Lace, was that identical little Boy, whom you before law in the Sailor's Habit; in fhort, it was little Tern Two- Shoes, Mrs Margery's Bro- ther, who wasjuft come from beyond Sea, where he had made a large Fortune, and hearing, a^ fom as he landed, of his Sifter's intended Wedding, had rode Pofi, to fee that a proper Settlement was made on her, which he thought (he was now intitled to, as he
hir-
Mrs MARGERY TWO-SHOES. 87
himfelf was both able and willing to give her
an ample Fortune. They iuon returned to
the Communion-Table, and were rmrried in Tears, but they were Tears of Joy.
There is fomerhing wonderful in this young Gentleman's Pi efervatioii and Succefs in Life ; which we (hall acquaint ihe Reader of, in ihe Hi'fory of his Life and Adventuies, which will foon be published.
CHAP. VII. and Laft. The true Ufe of Riches.
f"T»HE Harmony and Affection that fubfided X between this hippy Couple, is in-xpref- t>le; but T*ime, which d ffolves the clofeft nion, after fix Years, fevered Sir Charles om his Lady; for being feized with a vio- nt Fever, he died, and left her full of Grief, mugh pofltiTed of a large Fortune- We forgot to remark, that after her Mar- age, Lady Jones (for fo we mu(t now call er) ordered the Ch ;pel to be fi'ted up, and lowed the Chaplain a conh'derable Sum out f her own private Purfe, to vifit the Sick, nd fay Prayers every Day to all the People at could attend. — She alfo gave Mr Joknfon en Guineas a Year, to preach a Setmon an- »ally, on the Neceflitv and Dutits of ihe H a Mar-
38 Tbs Renowned HiJIory of
Marriage State; and on the Deceafe of Sir
Charles, the gave him ten more, to preach yearly on the Subjecl of Death ; (he had put all the P-triili into Mourning for the Lofs of her HuftHnd : and to thofe Men who attended this yearly Service, (he gave Harveft Gloves, to their Wives Shoes and Stockings, and to all ti e Children little Books and Plu<r»b cak.s: We muft aifo obferve, that (he herfeifwove a Chaplec of Flowers, and before the Service, placed ir en his Grave (tdne; and a fuitabie Pfalm was always fung by the Congregation. Aboti' thus Time, (he fceard that Mr Smith was opprefTed by Sir Timothy Gripe, the Juftice, and his Friend Grafpall, who endea- voured to deprive him of Part of his Tithes; upon which (he, in Cor.junclioi with her Brother, defended him, and the Caufe was tried in IVtlhninfter hall* where Mr Smith gained a Verdict; and it appearing that Sir Timothy had behaved moft fcand Aloofly as a Jaftue of »he Peice, he was ftruck off tht Lift, and no longer permitted to a<5l in tha Capacity. Tl'is w is a Cut to a Man of hi: imperious Difp >{iti-~>n, and this was foltowec bv one Vet more fevere ; for a Relation < f hi wh-> faad an undoubted Right to the Mould 'well Filate, finding that it was poffible to ge the b trer at Law of a rich Mao, laid cUrn to it. brought hi" Aclion, and recovered th MdDor of Mouldnvell; and being after
ware
Mrs MARGERY TWO-SHOES. 8f ^
wards inclined to fell it, he, in Confederation of the Aid Lady Margery had lent him during his Difrrtfs, made her the firft Offer, and (he purchaffjd the Whole, and threw it into dif- ferent Farms, that the Foor might be no longer ur.der the Dominion of two overgrown Men.
This was a great Mortification to Sir Timothy, as well as to his Friend Grafp*//, who from this Time experienced nothing but Misfortunes, and was in a few Years fo dif- poffefied of his ill-gotten Wealth, that his Family were reduced to feek Subfiftence from the Pari»h, at which thofe who had felt the Weight of his Iron Hand rejoiced; bur Lady Margery defired that his Children might be treated with Care and Tendernefs; for they, fays Hie, are no Ways accountable fir the Aft ions of their Father.
At her firft coming into Power, (Tie took Care to gratify her old Friends, efpecially Mr and Mrs Smith, whofe Famiiv (he made happy. — She paid great Regard to the Poor, nvade their Tntereft her own, and to induce them to come regularly to Church, (he or- dered a Loaf, or the Price of a Loaf, to be given to every one who would accept of it. This brought many of them to Church, who by Degrees learned their Duty, and then came on a more nobfe Principle. She aifo took Care to encourage Matrimony ; and in H 3 order
9* The Renowned Hiftory */
order to induce her Tenants and Neighbours to enter into that happy State, (he always gave the young Couple fomething towards Houfe-keeping; and ftocd Godmother to all their Children, whom me had in Parties, every Sunday Evening, to teach them their Cate- ciifm, and ledure them in Religion and Morality; after which (he treated them with a Supper, gave them fuch Books as they wanted, and then difpa:ched them with her Blefling. Nor did foe forget them at her Death, but left each a Legacy, as will be fecn among other chariuble Donations when we publifti her Will, wh:ch we may do in iume future Volume.— Thtre is one Bequelfc however fo fingular, tnat *e cannot help taking fome Notice or it in this Place; which is, that of her giving fu many Acres of Land ro he p!*nrcd y = arly wi::s Potatoes, for all the Poor of any Panih who would come and fetch them for the Ule of their Families; but if any took tneni to feli they were deprived of that Privilege ever after. And thefe Roots were planted and raifed from the Rent aiiGng from a F ;rm whitii (he had ailigntd oter for that Purpofe. In fhort, (he was a Mother to the Poor, a Phylidan to ?be Sick, and a Friend to all who were in Diitreis. Her Life was the greateft Bleffing, and her Death the grenteit C.lanmy that ever was felt in the A Moaumcut, bat without Jnlciijp-
Mrs MARGERY TWO-SHOES. 91
Infcription, was ereded to her Memory in the Cnurch-yard, over which the Poor as they pafs weep continually, (o that the Stone is ever bathed in Tears.
On this Occafion the following Lines were fpoken extempore by a young Gentleman.
J:foew vain the Tears that fall from you t dnd hsrefupply the Place of Dew! HO*VJ vain to weep the happy Dead, IVho now to heavenly Realms are fled ! Repine no moret your Plaints forbear, And all prepare to meet the?n thsre.
The END.
A P P E N D- 1 J.
The GOLDEN DREAM; or, The INGE- NUOUS CONFESSION.
rj ^O fliew the Depravity of human Nature, JL and how apt the Mind is to be mifled by Trinkers and falfe Appearances, Mrs *7~<w$- Shoes does acknowledge, that after (he be- came rich, Hie had like to have been too fond of Money; for on feeing her Hufband receive a very large Sum, her Heart went pit pat, p;t pat, ail the Evening, and (he began to think that Guineas were pretty Things. To fupprefs this Turbulence of Mind, which was a Symptom of approaching Avarice, (he faid
her
94 APPENDIX.
her Prayers earlier than ufual, and at Night h-d the ioilowing Dream, which I Ihall relate in her own Words.
** Methought, as I flept, a G?nii ftept up to me with a French Commode, which havirg placed CD n.y Head, he laid, Now go acd be happy, for from henceforth every Thing y u touch (hail turn to Gold. Willing to try t'je Expeiirnent, 1 gently touched the Bed- pott sod Furniture, which immediately be- came maflv Goldburoiflitd, and of furprtzsng Brightness'. I eheo touched the Walls of the Houfe, which aflumed the fame Appearance, and looked amazmgiv magnificent. Elated with this wonderful Gift, 1 ran nattily for my Maid to carry the joyful News to her Matter, who, as I thought, was then walking in the Garden. Sukey came, but in the ExucY I was in, happening to touch her Hand, the be- came inttandy an immoveable Statue. Go, faid I, and call your Mailer; but (he made DO Reply, nor could (he Itir. Upon this I fhritked, and in came my dear Hufoand, whom I ran to embrace ; when no fooner had I touched him, but he became good tor nothing, that is, g od for nothing but his Weight in Gold ; and that you know could be nothing, where Gold was ib plenty- At this Inftant up came anosher Servant with a Glais ot Water, thinking me ill; this I attempted to fwallow, but no iooner did it touch ray Mouth, than
it
APPENDIX. 95
it became a hard foHd Body, and unfit for drinking. My Diltrefs now grew infupport- able ! I had dedroyed, as I thought, my dear Hufband, and my favourite Servant; and I plainly perceived, that I fhould die for Want in the Midft of fo much Wealth. Ah, faid I, why did I long for Riches ! Having enough already, why did I covet more; Thus terrified, I began to rave, and beat my Breaft, which awaked Sir Charles, who kindly c tiled me from this State of Inquietude, and compofed my Mind."
This Scene I have often confidered as a LefTon, inftru&iog me, that a Load of Riches jring, inftead of Felicity, a Load of Troti- )les ; and that the only Source of Happinefs
is Contentment Go, therefore, you who
have too much, and give it to thofe who are in Want ; To (hall you be happy yourfelves, 3V making others happy. This is a Precept from the Almighty, a Precept which muft he regarded ; for, The Lord is about your Paths , 2nd about your Bed, and fyteth out all ymr
,6 APPENDIX.
An ANECDOTE, refpefling TOM TWO- SHOES, communicated by a Gentlewant ivbo is new 'writing tbf Hijlory of his Life.
IT is generally known, that Ton T<w»- Shoes went to Sea, when he was a very Jinle Boy, and very poor, and he returned a very great Man, and very rich ; but no one knows how he acquired fo much Wealth but himfelf, and a few Friends, who have perufed the Papers from which I am compiling the Hiilory of his Life.
After Tom had been at Sea fome Years, ke was unfortunately call awav, on that Part ol the Coatt of Africa inhabited by the Hotien* totj- Here he met with a strange Book, which the Hottentots did not underitand, and whitll gave him fome Account of Prejler Johni Country; and being a Lad of great Curiofitj and Refolution, he determined to fte it; ac- cordingly he fet out on the Purfuit, attendee by a young Lion, which he had tamed, anc made fo fond of him, that he followed hin like a Dog, and obeyed all his Commands and indeed it was happy for him that he hac (uch a Companion; for as his Road la^ through large Woods and Forcits that wen full of wildBcHtls, and without I&.iabitants he mult have betn foon fUived or torn i;
Pieces
APPENDIX.
97
Pieces, had he not been both fed and protected by this noble Animal.
Tom had provided himfelf with two Guns, a Sword, and as much Powder and Ball as he could carry; wuh thefe Arras, and fuch a Companion, ii was mighty e*fy for him to get Food; for the Animals in thefe wild and extenlive Forefts, having never feen the Effects
of a Gun, readily ran from the Lion, who hunted on one Side, to Tom, who hunted on the other, Co they were either caught by the Lion, or (hot by Uis Matter : and it was plea- f*nt enough, after a hunting Match, and the Meat was drcfTed, to fee how Cheek by Jowl they fat down to Dinner.
When
APPEND I X.
When they came into the Land of Utopia t he difcoverecl the Starue of a Man creeled <-n an open Plain, which had this Inscription
on the Pedellai: On May-day in the Morn- ing, ivben the Sun fifes, I Jhxll have a Head cj Gold. As ii was now iiie
latier End of
il, he flayed to fee this wonderful Change; and in the mean Time, enquiring of a poor Shepherd urh.it was the Realon of the Statue being erefted there, and with that Infcription, he \v< s informed that it was fet up many Years ago by an /^r^w»Philofopher,who travelled ail the World over in fearch of a real Friend; that he lived with, and was extremely fond of a great Man, who inhabited the next Mountain ; but that on fome Occafion they quarrelled, and the Philofopher, leaving the Mountain, retired into the Plain, where he
creeled
A P P E N D 1 X. 99
erected this Statue with his own Hands, and fs-on after died. To this he added, that all the People f < r many Leagues round came there everv May Morninp, exptding 10 fee the Stone head turned to Gold
Tom got up early en the Firft of I\lay to beh. id diis amazing Change, and when he came near the Statue he law a Number of People, \vho all ran away from him in the utmoll Confternation, having never before feen a Lion follow a Man like a Lap-dog. Being thus left alone, he fixed his Eyes on the Sun, then riling with refplendent Majefty, and afterwards turntd to the Statue, but could fee no Change in the Stone. — Surely, fays he to himfelf, there is fome myftical Meaning in this ! This Infcription mull be an Aloigma, the hidden Meaning of which I \vill endeavour to find; for a Philolopher would never exped a Stone to be turned to Gold: accordingly he meafured the Length of the Shadow, which the Statue gave on the Ground by the Sun fhining on it, and marked that particular Part where the Head fell, then getting a Cbopvefs (a Thing like a Spade) and digging, he difco- veredaCopper Cheft, full of Go'd, with this Infcription engraven on the Lid of it :
Thy WIT,
Oh Man ! whoever thou art, Hath difclofed the /Enigma,
Ii And
xoo A P P E N D I X.
And difcovered the GOLDEN HEAD.
Take it and ufe it, But ufe it with WISDOM;
For know, That GOLD, properly employed,
May difpenfe Bleflings,
And promote the Happinefs of Mortals ;
But when hoarded up,
Or mifapply'd, Is bat Trafh, that makes Mankind miferable..
Remember
The unprofitable Servant, Who hid his Talent in a Napkin;
And
The profligate Son, Who Squandered away his SuWtance,
And fed with the Swine.
As thou haft got the GOLDEN HEAD,
Obferve the Golden Mean,
Be good, and be happy.
This Leffbn coming, as it were, from the Dead, ftruck him with fuch Awe and Reve- rence for Piety and Virtue, that before he removed rhe Treafu re, he kneeled down, and earnefUy and fervently prayed that he might make a prudent, jufl and proper Ufe of it. He then conveyed the Cheftaway; but how he got it to England, the Reader will be in- formed in the Hiftory of his Life. It may not be improper, however, in this Place, to give
the
A P P E N D 1 X. loz
the Reader fome Account of the Philofopher who hid this Treafure, and took Ib much Pains to find a true and real Friend to enjoy it. As Tom had Reafon to venerate his Me- mory, he was very particular in his Enquiry, and had this Charader of him; — that he was a Man well acquainted with Nature and with Trade; that he was pious, friendly, and of a fweet and affable Difpofition ; that he had acquired a Fortune by Com-merce, and having no Relations to leave it to, he travelled thro' Arabia ', Perjia, India, Lybiay and Utopia, in Search of a real Friend. In this Purfuit he funnel feveral, with whom he exchanged good Offices, and that were polite and obliging, but they often flew off for Trifles, or asfoon as he pretended to be in i Diltrefs, and requefted their Afhfhnce, left him to ftruggle with his own Difficulties. So true is that Copy in our Books, which fays, Advsrfity is the Touchjtone of Friend/hip. At lail, however, he met wirh the Utopian Phi- lofopher, or the wife Man of the Mountain as he is calied, and thought in him he had found the Friend he wanted ; for though he often pretended to be in Diitrefs, and aban- doned to the Frowns of Fortune, this Man always relieved him, and with fuch Chearful- nefs and Sincerity, that concluding he had found out the only Man to whom he ought to open both his Purfe and his Heart, he let him I 3 fo
so* J P P E N D 1 X.
fo far into his Secrets, as to dc fire his ailifhnce in hid ng a large Sum of Money, \vhich l-e wanted to conceal, left the Pr nee of the Country, who was abfolute, fhouJd, by the Advice of his wicked IViiniller, put him to Deuth for his Gold. The two Philofophers me' and hid the Money, which the Stranger, after iome Days, went to fee^ but found it gone. How he was (truck to the Heart, when he found that his Fiiend, whom he had often tried, and uho had relieved him in his Diftrefs, could net withstand this Temptation, b'-it broke throi.-gh the i;-.cred Bonds of Fnend- fliip, and turned even a Thief for Gold which hedid not want, as he was already very rich. Oh ! inidhe, what is the Heaitof Mj.nmade of: Why am I ccr.demied to live amoog P^ p e who have no Sincerity, and who bar- ter the mo(t hcred Ties of Frier.dihip and Humanity for ihe Dirt that we irea^J on ? Had I iofl my Gold, and found a real Friend, I fhouid liavebeen happy with !he Exchange, but row 1 am iv.oil miferable. After feme Time he v. iped otf his Tears, and being de- te i mined not to be ib impoftd on, he had Recourie to Cunniog. and the Arts of Life. HL went to h s pretenc'ed Friend with a cheat h-i C ;unrenance, told him he had more Gold ro l.uie, and dcilrtd him to appoint a linie uiien tney might go together, and i/i>to li.e Earth to put u into the fame Pot;
the
APPENDIX. 103
the other, in hopes of getting more Wealth, appointed the next Evening.
They went together, opened the Ground, and found the Money they had firft placed there, for the artful Wretch he io much con- fided in, had conveyed it again into the Pot, in order to obtain more. Our Philoiopher , immediately took the Gold, and putting it into his pocket, told the other he had now altered his Mind, and (hould bury it no more, till he found a Man more worthy of his Confidence. See what People lofe by being diftiuncfli. This c*lls to my mind the Words of the Poet:
A Wit1* a Feather, and a Chief s a Rod> An bone/l Mitt's the noblejt Work of God.
Remember this Story and take Care whom you truft ; but don't be covetous, forJid, and mifcrable ; for the G. Id we have is but lent us to do Good xvirh. We received all from the Hand of Goii, and every PC i ion in Dii- trefs hath a ju(t Title to a Poi lion of it.
A LETTER from the PRINTER, which he dejtres may bt infertcd*
S I R,
I Have done with your Copy, fo you may re turn it to the Vatican, if you pleaie ; and pray tell Mr An?elo to bnifh up the Cuts, that, in the nsxt Edition, they may give us a good Impreflion.
The Forefight and Sagacity of Mrs Mar- gery1* Dog, calls to my Mind a Crcumftance, which happened when I was a Boy: Some Gentlemen in the Piace where I lived had been hunting, and were got under a great Tree to flicker themfelves from a Thunder-florin ; when a Dog that always followed one of the Gentlemen leaped up at his Horfe feveral Times, and then ran away and barked. At laft, the Gentlemen all followed to fee what he would be at ; and they were no fooner gone from the Tree, but it was fhivered in Pieces by Lightening! 'Tis remarkable, that^s foon as they came from the Tree, the Dog appeared to be very well fatisfied, and barked no more. The Gentleman after this always regarded the Dog as his Friend, treated him in his old Age with great Tendernefs, and fed him with Milk as long as he lived.
My
APPENDIX. 105
My old Maft r Grierfon had slfo a Dog, ithat ought to be mentioned with Regard; for he ufed to fet him up as a Pattern of Sagacity and Prudence, not only to his Journeyman, but to the whole Neighbours. This Dog had been taught a thoufand Tricks, and among other Feats he could d*nce, tumble, and drink Wine and Punch till he was lurle better t.jan mad. It happened one Day, when the Men had made him drunk with Liquor, and he was capering about, that he fell into a large Veffel of boiling Water. They foon got him out, and he recovered; but he was very much hurt; and being fenfibie that this Acci- dent arofe from his lofing his Senfes by Drink- ing, he would never tafte any ftrong Liquors afterwards. My old Matter, on relating this Story, and (hewing the Dog, ufed to addrefs us thus, Ah* my Friends, had ycu but half the Senfe of this poor Dc^ hsre, you ivould never get judditd) andbeloolt'
I am, SIR,
Yours, &c.
W. B.
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