🎵 Yes, there's plenty going on in this little world of ours.
Let's see what's cooking.
Here comes a bit of news.
A hurricane put the electric power plant out of
business at Amesbury, Massachusetts.
That put Farmer Woodson's electric milking machine on the blink.
He called for help, and Fire Chief George McDougall and his men came a-running.
The fire department milked the 50 cows by hand, and that's what
I call pulling together, boys.
Fax Magazine tells about the most expensive kiss on record.
A lady dove sat on a high-tension wire.
Her boyfriend sat on another wire, and then they kissed.
And wham-o!
The powerhouse in the town of Phoenix, Arizona went
out of business for half an hour.
The doves? Oh, well, maybe they're just as happy.
Are you listening, Gerald?
You may know you're reading, writing, and
arithmetic, but what do you know about this?
Sure, it's a man, but is he the right man?
Needn't worry about that anymore.
The Mundelan College Chicago has just begun a new class on how to choose a
husband, how to keep him, and how to spend his
money, as if you didn't know.
Listen.
Shh, fellas and girls, here's a little secret.
It's just between you and me and the ticker.
The War Department built this one out.
John, suppose you were here in London, and Jane, suppose you were here in
Florida, about 4,000 miles apart, and you want to get hitched.
The War Department says you can stay right where you are and get yourselves
married in Tulsa, Oklahoma, by mail.
And it's simple, too.
John writes an I Do letter to Oklahoma.
Jane does the same.
And Oklahoma says, I pronounce you man and wife.
The only thing left is the distance between you and Jane.
The War Department hasn't any idea what to do about that, but cheer up, kids.
We'll have television soon.
Taking candy from a baby is supposed to be the height of something or other, but
here we have a bunch of kids in Mrs. J. T. Wright's nursery in Dallas, Texas.
Hoover robbed.
Yes, robbed.
A low-down burglar got away with a box of 200 diapers.
Well, anyway, that's one thing they can't pin on the kids.
Fucking about inventions.
Here's something, brother.
The United States Patent Office has just issued a patent on an overcoat.
Not just an ordinary coat, of course.
This one is heated by electricity.
The warming current of comfort comes from a bunch of batteries
which you carry in a suitcase.
Hope the inventor provides a little trailer with a fire extinguisher.
You know, just in case of a hot seat.
Calling all fishermen.
Yep, you fellas with your rods and reels.
The Wildlife Service at Washington, D.C. is a coming out with a new radar gadget.
This doohickey will locate schools of fish, tell you which way they're going, and
let you know their exact size.
The Army Air Force has published a book on what to do if you happen to fall into
the water and meet up with a shark.
Under Rule 1, the trick is to make a quick swing at the shark.
Slap the water around and holler like it, like it blazes.
Now that's supposed to ruin the shark's self-confidence.
If that doesn't work, grab the shark's dorsal fin
and hang on until he gets tired.
If that doesn't work, haul off and give him a swift kick in the nose.
A shark can't take it on the snoot.
There's nothing to it.
Here's a very, very sad piece of news.
A gasoline truck pulled up to Walter Secchieri Station in Detroit.
The driver connected the hose and pumped gas into the pipe, but the
gasoline gauge set empty.
Now let's take a look under the sidewalk.
This is the station's gas tank, and this is where the gas went, right into the
sewer. 864 gallons of good gas, right into...
Well, let's draw a curtain over this sad episode.
Next time you go to New Jersey in the neighborhood of West Orange, look up a
fellow named Coughing Arslanian.
He's a Yale graduate.
Don't know the exact address, but he lives among the branches
of a giant oak tree.
His home has a floor and a ceiling, but his wife couldn't get used to no walls.
So she left, and our friend is still up a tree.
So about your pin-up, girls.
Well, fellers, here's a gal and what a gal.
Just listen to this.
She's a volunteer, 25 years old, worth $7 million.
And what a scrapper.
She was in the sneak attack on Pearl Harbor, got herself badly injured too,
spent a year getting over that.
Then she did her stuff at Normandy on D-Day, and again at Cherbourg.
She's got plenty of service ribbons and the Purple Heart.
Who is she?
The Battleship Nevada.
What a gal.
How's your memory?
Who said these words?
We can.
We will.
We must.
S-F-D-R-U-7.