♪♪
Corliss and Dexter don't seem to be getting much of a kick out of the paper today.
Well, there are days like that when there's no exciting news and everything you read is pretty dull.
Dexter, look! This is where a woman 78 just graduated from college.
Boy, it sure took her long enough. She must have been awfully dumb.
Don't be silly. She started when she was 74.
She still must have been awfully dumb. It took her 50 or 60 years just to get out of high school.
She finished high school when she was very young. She was just too busy to go on to college.
I think it's wonderful. Now she can have the career she's always wanted.
A career at 78? What's she gonna do?
Teach physical education.
♪♪♪
Well, why don't you, Mom?
Why don't I what?
Go to college.
Oh, really, Corliss?
You always said you'd like to take a few courses.
I thought maybe I'd take a course in homemaking, but I'm too busy working at home to do any homework.
Well, if a woman 78 can do it, I still don't see why you can't.
Corliss, please.
Oh, excuse me, Mom.
No college.
I guess I'll have to wait until I'm 78. It'll probably take me that long to finish this bed.
Anyway, I think you ought to.
Go to what?
Go to college.
That's not a bad idea.
Oh, Janet, uh, I wish you'd get my suit from the cleaners.
Well, now where'd you put it?
Put what?
The shoehorn.
On the chest.
Oh.
Going back to school would give you contacts with young people.
You'd feel young again.
Well, I'm not exactly old. I'm only...
Well, I'm not so old.
But I'm getting older fast.
While you're at the cleaners, would you stop off at the shoemaker and pick up my shoes, please?
It's only a few blocks down the street.
Excuse me, dear.
Now where is it?
Where's what?
Always moving things.
Moving what?
Would you mind telling me what you're looking for?
My wallet. I have $18 in it.
Here it is, right where you left it. And there are only $16 in it.
Hmm. Always moving things.
It said in the paper more mothers are enrolling in college every year.
Well, I don't see how they can. I couldn't. I haven't time.
Well, of course you have. It's just a matter of organizing your time efficiently.
At most, you ought to spend two hours a day on housework and at least plenty of time for college.
Two hours?
Do you honestly think that?
Think it. I know it.
And it will be an excellent way to spend your spare time, especially since you have so much of it.
I think I will.
You will? Oh, golly, you're wonderful.
My own mother, a freshman. Whee!
Ha, ha, ha!
Good idea.
Might teach you efficiency.
I think I run this house very efficient.
Oh, now really, Janet.
I've been watching you for the last 15 minutes and you still haven't finished that bed.
Mr. Archer doesn't know how hard a woman has to fight to get through a day's housework.
As the poet says, the work my wife does makes me shudder.
If I had to do it, oh, brudder.
Thank you, Mary.
Organize, they say.
Be more efficient, they say.
You don't have to be efficient. You just have to be a mule.
You'd be right if I went to college.
Yeah, Bill, too, if I went.
Can you imagine what would happen?
I can imagine. Our houses would be a mess.
Sewing piled up.
Unmade beds.
He'd have to take his shirt to the laundry himself. Then he'd probably forget to pick them up.
Late dinners.
Probably no dinners.
Oh, they'd be sunk utterly.
Mary, I will if you will.
You've got a deal.
Rah, rah, for the regimental way.
We'll make movies and dance and dance.
Well, nobody's ever too old to learn.
Maybe you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but that doesn't mean you can't teach him some good old tricks.
Is that you, Harry?
Yes, dear.
I can't tell you how exciting it is to go to school again.
Oh, isn't she wonderful, Daddy?
Wonderful.
Uh, when are we having dinner?
I was petrified at first.
All of those kids on the campus and sitting next to me at class.
But they were so friendly and helpful.
Mary and I just love it.
Oh, isn't she wonderful, Daddy?
Yeah, wonderful.
I'm hungry.
And we aren't the oldest one in the class by any means.
There's one woman there who has grandchildren.
And I have the most interesting professor.
Couldn't we discuss it at dinner?
Dinner?
Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
Sorry about what?
Well, I took your advice, you know, about scheduling my time.
Well, what's that got to do with dinner?
Well, from four to seven I study.
And after seven?
Well, from seven to 7.15 I rest.
The psychology professor told us to do that.
Then from 7.15 on, I study again.
Isn't she wonderful, Daddy?
She is.
We'll cooperate, Mom.
We think it's terrific what you're doing.
Don't we, Daddy?
Oh, sure.
Mary and I discussed it, and we figured that our families wouldn't mind taking over the housework for a while.
Like you said, it should only take one or two hours a day.
We don't mind, Mom.
We don't mind at all.
Do we, Daddy?
Well, you won't...
Oh, dear.
I'm getting behind schedule.
And don't bother making dinner for me.
I've already eaten.
Let's get it.
Looks like Mr. Archer is going to have to cook his own dinner.
And when a man cooks, it's a 50-50 bet on what the result will be.
No pain or toe main.
Stew a la Archer.
He means succulent and savory.
My own special recipe.
Oh, boy, I'm starving.
It looks beautiful.
Frankincense.
Famous golden biscuits.
Positively guaranteed to be light as a feather.
Well, it's plenty of stew.
Don't be mad.
Eat all you want.
Take a sip.
Ladies first.
Guests first.
Oh, dear.
How do you do?
Oh, dear.
You know, Pop, the stew may not be good, but it sure lasts a long time.
Repulsive, wasn't it?
You know, I think we were mistaken about how much time Mary and Janet spend in the house.
Yeah, they're wonderful girls.
Devoted, hardworking.
Maybe if we were to tell them how much we appreciate them, they'd quit college and go home.
Yeah.
Let's go in and eat crow.
We just ate it.
Oh, those biscuits.
Light as feathers?
They must have tasted like cement.
A few more meals like that and a couple of days of housework and they'll be begging us to quit college.
They won't have to beg very hard.
I'd rather do the housework than listen to that chemistry professor.
How do you like that?
They didn't want to go to college.
They just went to teach us a lesson.
Well, we're not going to let them get away with it, are we?
No, sir.
Not me.
I'll beat Janet at her own game.
I'll make the beds, cook the meals, wash the dishes, mop the floor, vacuum the rugs, dust the furniture, do the laundry, iron the...
What's the matter?
I'm exhausted.
And now, back to Meet Corliss Archer.
We've all got to cooperate.
That's the secret of it, cooperation.
That's the spirit.
Oh, here's a list of things to do today.
It's all perfectly organized.
First the kitchen, then the dining room, then the living room.
Don't worry, Daddy.
We'll get everything finished.
Good.
Hey, Mr. Archer.
Hmm?
You sure you got everything on there?
Thank you.
Well, see you tonight.
Well, our fathers are sure pretty well organized.
They didn't leave a single thing for them to do.
Oh, they worked very hard this morning.
Doing what?
Organizing.
They made out the list.
Get them off, will you?
It's behind the back door.
Careful, poor slipper.
No!
If Dexter keeps up that pace, it won't be long before the housework is finished.
Also, it won't be long before Dexter is finished.
Dexter, hurry!
Yeah, I'm coming.
Forward!
Golly, Dex.
That's a beautiful job.
Well...
There isn't any glass.
Alice, it's only broken a little.
From the inside.
You better call the glass man.
And hurry.
We have eleven more rooms to do.
Okay, I'll finish the windows, too.
Wait a minute, Dex.
You forgot the locket.
Oh, okay.
Well, did you finish everything?
Do a good job? Both houses?
I knew you could do it.
It's just a simple matter of efficient organization.
How about that last class today?
I couldn't understand a word the professor was saying.
Mary, that was our French class.
Oh.
Oh!
Are we taking French?
Good night, Daddy.
Where are you going?
To sleep.
What about dinner?
Yeah, we were just going to get it.
We'll have it for breakfast.
He looks more tired than I feel.
Look at him, so tired they can hardly stand.
How about it, let's be tactful.
We know they want to give in, so let's make it easy for them.
Okay, okay.
But would I love to rub it in.
Oh, Mary.
I have a feeling we're going to meet two very penitent and exhausted husbands.
Now let's be tactful and give them every chance to crawl out from under gracefully.
It's clean.
It's absolutely beautiful.
What a dirty trick.
Hello, girls.
Everything look all right?
It's a real good job.
I bet you both are exhausted.
Huh?
You are, aren't you?
I mean, you are.
Huh?
Oh, dear.
You must be awfully tired.
Housework isn't as easy as you thought it was, is it?
It isn't, is it?
Huh?
Certainly not.
It was harder than we thought.
We thought we could do it in an hour.
But it took us two hours.
For the living room?
No, both houses.
Well, how was your day at college?
Yeah, I bet it's tough getting into the swing of things.
Yes, it must be rugged.
And all that studying, competing with a lot of kids.
It's a big campus.
That takes a lot of walking.
Those books are heavy.
Of course, if it gets too hard, you can always come home.
Certainly.
We wouldn't want you to over-tire yourselves or anything.
Would we, Harry, huh?
Certainly not.
Tired?
Oh.
We love college.
It's exciting.
It's invigorating.
And I'm so glad you find housework so easy.
For a while, we felt a little guilty.
Guilty?
About what?
About letting you do the housework for the next four years.
Four years?
Well, you want us to graduate, don't you?
♪♪
Looks like a bleak future for those two.
That'll teach them that it's foolish to fool around with two unfoolish women
whom they can't fool and who find it foolishly easy to make fools of them.
♪♪
You've made out a list of things to be done today.
Yes, this shouldn't take too long.
Everything's organized to the last detail.
Well, come on, take it.
Hmm.
I can't lift my arm.
Here, call us.
I'm exhausted, too, Daddy.
We've never worked so hard in our whole lives.
But remember, our wives, your mothers, are going to college.
We all have to make sacrifices.
Yesterday, I almost sacrificed my back.
And I had a long talk about it.
We think we ought to ask him to quit school and come home.
No, no, you can't do that.
No, we want them to beg.
I mean, this is the least we can do for them.
Here, here, take the list.
There's only a couple of dozen things to do.
Huh?
It took me ten minutes to get up enough strength just to lie down.
Come on, we have homework to do, too.
Come on, Dix.
What are we going to do?
We can't quit.
We'll have to do the housework.
What about our offices?
Business can wait.
This is a far greater issue.
Besides, it shouldn't take us more than a couple of hours.
We've got everything organized.
Come on, let's start in the kitchen.
Hmm?
They didn't say anything about ten-mile hikes when we took that geology course.
Bill, Bill, Bill.
Come on, come on, come on.
And a fresh one, they're home.
Come on, quick.
It wasn't walking, I mind it.
It was carrying all those rocks.
Oh, let's quit, Janet.
I'll beg for both of us.
No, we can't.
I know they'll give in first.
Well, how did you get along today?
Right on schedule.
Housework's a snap when you know how to do it.
How was school?
It was simply awful.
Awfully educational.
You know, I feel fine.
Why don't we all go out on the town tonight?
That's an idea.
Let's go dancing.
Well, I'd love to, but...
But we can't.
Don't tell me you're too tired.
You're not too tired.
You're tired.
You're tired, are you, huh?
Me tired?
Hmm.
Listen to him.
They think we're tired.
Well, if you're not too tired, then we can all go dancing.
Right?
Oh, we'd love to, but we've got to go to the game tonight.
What?
That's right.
We wouldn't miss it.
We're in the cheering section.
Rock, rock, rock!
Yeah!
Well, you know, I guess we might as well get rid of our excess energy, too.
Hmm.
Let's go bowling.
Have a good time.
We'll be back at 11 o'clock.
Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da!
Bowling.
The cheering section.
Where do they get all the energy?
Let's face it, Dexter.
We're getting old.
I'm exhausted.
Sit down.
Don't forget to set the alarm for 11.
I'll wait here.
I better get this turned.
I can never go to sleep.
Neither can I.
You set the alarm?
Yeah.
11 o'clock.
Oh, it's the most comfortable-looking bed I ever saw in all my life.
Oh, you take the one on the left.
I'll take the one on the left.
Housework never made Mrs. Archer that tired.
I guess men can't take it the way women can.
Or maybe we should say they can take it, but they don't know what to do with it.
Well, how do you like that?
They didn't even go out.
Housework's a snap. Efficiency, he says.
I think we won, Gannett.
Up to Daisy, Billy boy.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
We will be going to sleep with your pajamas on.
Oh.
Can I go off?
Oh.
We were just having a little nap before going bowling, weren't we?
Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, where are we?
We're going right now.
Imagine coming home from the game and finding our he-men wilted like this.
You didn't go to any game.
Bill and I saw you asleep in Mary's bedroom.
Marlis and Dexter took us over there.
That's right, Mom.
We didn't want to choose sides.
Education's wonderful, but maybe you better wait until you're 78.
We miss you too much at home, Mom.
Well, we'll come home on one condition.
What?
On Ben and Nate.
I'm on mine.
Please.
Oh, oh.
Gannett!
Hi, dear.
Oh, boy, am I a living.
Am I appreciated.
My family can't do enough for me.
Guess what?
Dexter cooked my dinner.
That's nothing.
Carlis cooked mine.
Oh, it's wonderful.
It's just wonderful.
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