WEBVTT

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♪♪

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♪♪

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Corliss and Dexter don't seem to be getting much of a kick out of the paper today.

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Well, there are days like that when there's no exciting news and everything you read is pretty dull.

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Dexter, look! This is where a woman 78 just graduated from college.

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Boy, it sure took her long enough. She must have been awfully dumb.

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Don't be silly. She started when she was 74.

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She still must have been awfully dumb. It took her 50 or 60 years just to get out of high school.

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She finished high school when she was very young. She was just too busy to go on to college.

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I think it's wonderful. Now she can have the career she's always wanted.

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A career at 78? What's she gonna do?

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Teach physical education.

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♪♪♪

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Well, why don't you, Mom?

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Why don't I what?

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Go to college.

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Oh, really, Corliss?

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You always said you'd like to take a few courses.

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I thought maybe I'd take a course in homemaking, but I'm too busy working at home to do any homework.

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Well, if a woman 78 can do it, I still don't see why you can't.

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Corliss, please.

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Oh, excuse me, Mom.

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No college.

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I guess I'll have to wait until I'm 78. It'll probably take me that long to finish this bed.

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Anyway, I think you ought to.

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Go to what?

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Go to college.

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That's not a bad idea.

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Oh, Janet, uh, I wish you'd get my suit from the cleaners.

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Well, now where'd you put it?

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Put what?

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The shoehorn.

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On the chest.

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Oh.

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Going back to school would give you contacts with young people.

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You'd feel young again.

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Well, I'm not exactly old. I'm only...

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Well, I'm not so old.

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But I'm getting older fast.

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While you're at the cleaners, would you stop off at the shoemaker and pick up my shoes, please?

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It's only a few blocks down the street.

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Excuse me, dear.

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Now where is it?

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Where's what?

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Always moving things.

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Moving what?

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Would you mind telling me what you're looking for?

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My wallet. I have $18 in it.

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Here it is, right where you left it. And there are only $16 in it.

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Hmm. Always moving things.

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It said in the paper more mothers are enrolling in college every year.

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Well, I don't see how they can. I couldn't. I haven't time.

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Well, of course you have. It's just a matter of organizing your time efficiently.

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At most, you ought to spend two hours a day on housework and at least plenty of time for college.

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Two hours?

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Do you honestly think that?

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Think it. I know it.

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And it will be an excellent way to spend your spare time, especially since you have so much of it.

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I think I will.

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You will? Oh, golly, you're wonderful.

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My own mother, a freshman. Whee!

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Ha, ha, ha!

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Good idea.

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Might teach you efficiency.

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I think I run this house very efficient.

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Oh, now really, Janet.

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I've been watching you for the last 15 minutes and you still haven't finished that bed.

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Mr. Archer doesn't know how hard a woman has to fight to get through a day's housework.

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As the poet says, the work my wife does makes me shudder.

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If I had to do it, oh, brudder.

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Thank you, Mary.

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Organize, they say.

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Be more efficient, they say.

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You don't have to be efficient. You just have to be a mule.

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You'd be right if I went to college.

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Yeah, Bill, too, if I went.

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Can you imagine what would happen?

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I can imagine. Our houses would be a mess.

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Sewing piled up.

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Unmade beds.

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He'd have to take his shirt to the laundry himself. Then he'd probably forget to pick them up.

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Late dinners.

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Probably no dinners.

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Oh, they'd be sunk utterly.

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Mary, I will if you will.

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You've got a deal.

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Rah, rah, for the regimental way.

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We'll make movies and dance and dance.

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Well, nobody's ever too old to learn.

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Maybe you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but that doesn't mean you can't teach him some good old tricks.

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Is that you, Harry?

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Yes, dear.

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I can't tell you how exciting it is to go to school again.

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Oh, isn't she wonderful, Daddy?

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Wonderful.

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Uh, when are we having dinner?

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I was petrified at first.

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All of those kids on the campus and sitting next to me at class.

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But they were so friendly and helpful.

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Mary and I just love it.

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Oh, isn't she wonderful, Daddy?

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Yeah, wonderful.

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I'm hungry.

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And we aren't the oldest one in the class by any means.

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There's one woman there who has grandchildren.

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And I have the most interesting professor.

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Couldn't we discuss it at dinner?

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Dinner?

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Oh, I'm sorry, dear.

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Sorry about what?

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Well, I took your advice, you know, about scheduling my time.

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Well, what's that got to do with dinner?

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Well, from four to seven I study.

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And after seven?

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Well, from seven to 7.15 I rest.

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The psychology professor told us to do that.

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Then from 7.15 on, I study again.

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Isn't she wonderful, Daddy?

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She is.

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We'll cooperate, Mom.

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We think it's terrific what you're doing.

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Don't we, Daddy?

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Oh, sure.

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Mary and I discussed it, and we figured that our families wouldn't mind taking over the housework for a while.

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Like you said, it should only take one or two hours a day.

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We don't mind, Mom.

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We don't mind at all.

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Do we, Daddy?

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Well, you won't...

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Oh, dear.

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I'm getting behind schedule.

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And don't bother making dinner for me.

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I've already eaten.

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Let's get it.

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Looks like Mr. Archer is going to have to cook his own dinner.

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And when a man cooks, it's a 50-50 bet on what the result will be.

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No pain or toe main.

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Stew a la Archer.

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He means succulent and savory.

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My own special recipe.

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Oh, boy, I'm starving.

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It looks beautiful.

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Frankincense.

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Famous golden biscuits.

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Positively guaranteed to be light as a feather.

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Well, it's plenty of stew.

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Don't be mad.

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Eat all you want.

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Take a sip.

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Ladies first.

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Guests first.

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Oh, dear.

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How do you do?

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Oh, dear.

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You know, Pop, the stew may not be good, but it sure lasts a long time.

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Repulsive, wasn't it?

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You know, I think we were mistaken about how much time Mary and Janet spend in the house.

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Yeah, they're wonderful girls.

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Devoted, hardworking.

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Maybe if we were to tell them how much we appreciate them, they'd quit college and go home.

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Yeah.

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Let's go in and eat crow.

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We just ate it.

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Oh, those biscuits.

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Light as feathers?

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They must have tasted like cement.

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A few more meals like that and a couple of days of housework and they'll be begging us to quit college.

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They won't have to beg very hard.

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I'd rather do the housework than listen to that chemistry professor.

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How do you like that?

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They didn't want to go to college.

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They just went to teach us a lesson.

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Well, we're not going to let them get away with it, are we?

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No, sir.

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Not me.

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I'll beat Janet at her own game.

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I'll make the beds, cook the meals, wash the dishes, mop the floor, vacuum the rugs, dust the furniture, do the laundry, iron the...

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What's the matter?

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I'm exhausted.

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And now, back to Meet Corliss Archer.

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We've all got to cooperate.

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That's the secret of it, cooperation.

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That's the spirit.

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Oh, here's a list of things to do today.

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It's all perfectly organized.

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First the kitchen, then the dining room, then the living room.

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Don't worry, Daddy.

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We'll get everything finished.

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Good.

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Hey, Mr. Archer.

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Hmm?

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You sure you got everything on there?

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Thank you.

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Well, see you tonight.

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Well, our fathers are sure pretty well organized.

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They didn't leave a single thing for them to do.

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Oh, they worked very hard this morning.

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Doing what?

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Organizing.

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They made out the list.

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Get them off, will you?

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It's behind the back door.

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Careful, poor slipper.

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No!

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If Dexter keeps up that pace, it won't be long before the housework is finished.

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Also, it won't be long before Dexter is finished.

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Dexter, hurry!

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Yeah, I'm coming.

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Forward!

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Golly, Dex.

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That's a beautiful job.

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Well...

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There isn't any glass.

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Alice, it's only broken a little.

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From the inside.

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You better call the glass man.

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And hurry.

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We have eleven more rooms to do.

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Okay, I'll finish the windows, too.

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Wait a minute, Dex.

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You forgot the locket.

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Oh, okay.

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Well, did you finish everything?

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Do a good job? Both houses?

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I knew you could do it.

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It's just a simple matter of efficient organization.

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How about that last class today?

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I couldn't understand a word the professor was saying.

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Mary, that was our French class.

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Oh.

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Oh!

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Are we taking French?

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Good night, Daddy.

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Where are you going?

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To sleep.

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To sleep.

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What about dinner?

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Yeah, we were just going to get it.

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We'll have it for breakfast.

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He looks more tired than I feel.

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Look at him, so tired they can hardly stand.

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How about it, let's be tactful.

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We know they want to give in, so let's make it easy for them.

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Okay, okay.

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But would I love to rub it in.

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Oh, Mary.

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I have a feeling we're going to meet two very penitent and exhausted husbands.

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Now let's be tactful and give them every chance to crawl out from under gracefully.

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It's clean.

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It's absolutely beautiful.

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What a dirty trick.

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Hello, girls.

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Everything look all right?

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It's a real good job.

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I bet you both are exhausted.

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Huh?

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You are, aren't you?

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I mean, you are.

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Huh?

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Oh, dear.

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You must be awfully tired.

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Housework isn't as easy as you thought it was, is it?

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It isn't, is it?

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Huh?

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Certainly not.

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It was harder than we thought.

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We thought we could do it in an hour.

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But it took us two hours.

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For the living room?

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No, both houses.

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Well, how was your day at college?

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Yeah, I bet it's tough getting into the swing of things.

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Yes, it must be rugged.

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And all that studying, competing with a lot of kids.

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It's a big campus.

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That takes a lot of walking.

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Those books are heavy.

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Of course, if it gets too hard, you can always come home.

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Certainly.

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We wouldn't want you to over-tire yourselves or anything.

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Would we, Harry, huh?

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Certainly not.

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Tired?

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Oh.

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We love college.

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It's exciting.

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It's invigorating.

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And I'm so glad you find housework so easy.

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For a while, we felt a little guilty.

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Guilty?

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About what?

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About letting you do the housework for the next four years.

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Four years?

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Well, you want us to graduate, don't you?

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♪♪

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Looks like a bleak future for those two.

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That'll teach them that it's foolish to fool around with two unfoolish women

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whom they can't fool and who find it foolishly easy to make fools of them.

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♪♪

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You've made out a list of things to be done today.

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Yes, this shouldn't take too long.

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Everything's organized to the last detail.

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Well, come on, take it.

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Hmm.

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I can't lift my arm.

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Here, call us.

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I'm exhausted, too, Daddy.

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We've never worked so hard in our whole lives.

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But remember, our wives, your mothers, are going to college.

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We all have to make sacrifices.

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Yesterday, I almost sacrificed my back.

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And I had a long talk about it.

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We think we ought to ask him to quit school and come home.

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No, no, you can't do that.

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No, we want them to beg.

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I mean, this is the least we can do for them.

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Here, here, take the list.

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There's only a couple of dozen things to do.

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Huh?

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It took me ten minutes to get up enough strength just to lie down.

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Come on, we have homework to do, too.

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Come on, Dix.

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What are we going to do?

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We can't quit.

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We'll have to do the housework.

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What about our offices?

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Business can wait.

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This is a far greater issue.

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Besides, it shouldn't take us more than a couple of hours.

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We've got everything organized.

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Come on, let's start in the kitchen.

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Hmm?

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They didn't say anything about ten-mile hikes when we took that geology course.

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Bill, Bill, Bill.

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Come on, come on, come on.

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And a fresh one, they're home.

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Come on, quick.

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It wasn't walking, I mind it.

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It was carrying all those rocks.

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Oh, let's quit, Janet.

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I'll beg for both of us.

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No, we can't.

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I know they'll give in first.

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Well, how did you get along today?

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Right on schedule.

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Housework's a snap when you know how to do it.

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How was school?

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It was simply awful.

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Awfully educational.

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You know, I feel fine.

20:51.000 --> 20:53.000
Why don't we all go out on the town tonight?

20:53.000 --> 20:54.000
That's an idea.

20:54.000 --> 20:55.000
Let's go dancing.

20:55.000 --> 20:57.000
Well, I'd love to, but...

20:57.000 --> 20:59.000
But we can't.

20:59.000 --> 21:00.000
Don't tell me you're too tired.

21:00.000 --> 21:01.000
You're not too tired.

21:01.000 --> 21:02.000
You're tired.

21:02.000 --> 21:04.000
You're tired, are you, huh?

21:04.000 --> 21:05.000
Me tired?

21:05.000 --> 21:06.000
Hmm.

21:06.000 --> 21:08.000
Listen to him.

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They think we're tired.

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Well, if you're not too tired, then we can all go dancing.

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Right?

21:17.000 --> 21:19.000
Oh, we'd love to, but we've got to go to the game tonight.

21:19.000 --> 21:20.000
What?

21:20.000 --> 21:21.000
That's right.

21:21.000 --> 21:22.000
We wouldn't miss it.

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We're in the cheering section.

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Rock, rock, rock!

21:26.000 --> 21:27.000
Yeah!

21:27.000 --> 21:32.000
Yeah!

21:32.000 --> 21:36.000
Well, you know, I guess we might as well get rid of our excess energy, too.

21:36.000 --> 21:37.000
Hmm.

21:37.000 --> 21:38.000
Let's go bowling.

21:38.000 --> 21:40.000
Have a good time.

21:40.000 --> 21:43.000
We'll be back at 11 o'clock.

21:43.000 --> 21:50.000
Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da!

21:50.000 --> 21:51.000
Bowling.

21:51.000 --> 21:53.000
The cheering section.

21:53.000 --> 21:56.000
Where do they get all the energy?

21:56.000 --> 21:58.000
Let's face it, Dexter.

21:58.000 --> 22:01.000
We're getting old.

22:01.000 --> 22:03.000
I'm exhausted.

22:03.000 --> 22:13.000
Sit down.

22:13.000 --> 22:16.000
Don't forget to set the alarm for 11.

22:16.000 --> 22:18.000
I'll wait here.

22:18.000 --> 22:21.000
I better get this turned.

22:21.000 --> 22:22.000
I can never go to sleep.

22:22.000 --> 22:29.000
Neither can I.

22:29.000 --> 22:30.000
You set the alarm?

22:30.000 --> 22:33.000
Yeah.

22:33.000 --> 22:36.000
11 o'clock.

22:36.000 --> 22:40.000
Oh, it's the most comfortable-looking bed I ever saw in all my life.

22:40.000 --> 22:43.000
Oh, you take the one on the left.

22:43.000 --> 22:57.000
I'll take the one on the left.

22:57.000 --> 23:00.000
Housework never made Mrs. Archer that tired.

23:00.000 --> 23:03.000
I guess men can't take it the way women can.

23:03.000 --> 23:26.000
Or maybe we should say they can take it, but they don't know what to do with it.

23:26.000 --> 23:27.000
Well, how do you like that?

23:27.000 --> 23:29.000
They didn't even go out.

23:29.000 --> 23:33.000
Housework's a snap. Efficiency, he says.

23:33.000 --> 23:51.000
I think we won, Gannett.

23:51.000 --> 23:53.000
Up to Daisy, Billy boy.

23:53.000 --> 23:55.000
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

23:55.000 --> 23:59.000
We will be going to sleep with your pajamas on.

23:59.000 --> 24:00.000
Oh.

24:00.000 --> 24:05.000
Can I go off?

24:05.000 --> 24:06.000
Oh.

24:06.000 --> 24:12.000
We were just having a little nap before going bowling, weren't we?

24:12.000 --> 24:14.000
Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, where are we?

24:14.000 --> 24:20.000
We're going right now.

24:20.000 --> 24:25.000
Imagine coming home from the game and finding our he-men wilted like this.

24:25.000 --> 24:27.000
You didn't go to any game.

24:27.000 --> 24:31.000
Bill and I saw you asleep in Mary's bedroom.

24:31.000 --> 24:34.000
Marlis and Dexter took us over there.

24:34.000 --> 24:37.000
That's right, Mom.

24:37.000 --> 24:40.000
We didn't want to choose sides.

24:40.000 --> 24:45.000
Education's wonderful, but maybe you better wait until you're 78.

24:45.000 --> 24:47.000
We miss you too much at home, Mom.

24:47.000 --> 24:49.000
Well, we'll come home on one condition.

24:49.000 --> 24:50.000
What?

24:50.000 --> 24:51.000
On Ben and Nate.

24:51.000 --> 24:56.000
I'm on mine.

24:56.000 --> 24:58.000
Please.

24:58.000 --> 25:11.000
Oh, oh.

25:11.000 --> 25:12.000
Gannett!

25:12.000 --> 25:13.000
Hi, dear.

25:13.000 --> 25:15.000
Oh, boy, am I a living.

25:15.000 --> 25:17.000
Am I appreciated.

25:17.000 --> 25:19.000
My family can't do enough for me.

25:19.000 --> 25:20.000
Guess what?

25:20.000 --> 25:22.000
Dexter cooked my dinner.

25:22.000 --> 25:23.000
That's nothing.

25:23.000 --> 25:25.000
Carlis cooked mine.

25:25.000 --> 25:27.000
Oh, it's wonderful.

25:27.000 --> 25:48.000
It's just wonderful.

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