ONE S H I L L. I N G. "Judy" Office, 73 Fleet Street, London, E.G. iMi ^^"^ GMA^'^ TJS.'EX TOI»IO OF OTZZE I>-A."V 'HE OCCUPATION OF CYPRUS.— FEVER AT NICOSIA. Jeopardy of Iiife.— The Great Danger of Delay. After suffering from FEVER FOUR TIMES, in each attack with great severity — in fact, three of them could not have been more dangerous or critical — from a very extensive and careful observation, extending over a period ot forty years. I am per- fectly satisfied the " true cause " of fever is lisordered condi- tion of the liver. The office of the liver is to cleanse the blood as a scavenger might sweep the streets. When the liver is not working properly a quantity of effete matter is left floating in the blood, tjnder these circumstances, should the poison-germ of fever be absorbed then the disease results ; on the contrary, 1S43. p:rft1;IJIrflBM^ 50 VARIETIES 7d. Servia, Egypi, Brazil, Cuba, &c. inn SCARCE '""varieties IS. 7(1., Finland Moldo-Wallachia Rome, Hanover,& c Noiu Ready for 1878 New Packets ot Used Stamps. New Packets of Unused Stamps. New Sets of Used & Unused Stamps New Packets of Crests. lUustrnted Price Catalogue, fost-free, -^d. STANLEY, GIBBONS & CO., 8 COWER STREEUONDON PERSONS TROUBLED with CORNS or WARTS should at once procure a bottle of ROBINSON'S PATENT CORN SOLVENT, which never fails to quickly re- move them. Price 7M. or w.A. per liottle. Per po^t, 2d. extra in stamps. ROBINSON'S TOOTHACHE SYRIITGB, Used by One Hundred Thousand Persons annually. To be had from all Chemists at 6d. each, or per post on receipt of 8d. in stamps, from PROPRIETOR, B. ROBINSON, Chemist, lancliester. BY ROYAL LETTERS PATENT. B AILEY'S PATENT ABDO- MINAL BELTS. Vide L.^NCET, April 7, ig 7y —The greatest improvement ever effect- ed ; cannot shift or " ruck up." Prices : Silk, 45s. : Cotton, 35s. ; Second Quality, 2Ss.-Address the Superintendent, Ladies' Department. AILEY^S IMPROVED CHEST- KXPANniNG RRArK.S.— Invaluable for BAILEY'S ELASTIC STOCK- INGS.—Strong, light, and porous. Cotton, 6s. 6d. ; Silk, los. 6d., 14s. 6d, 17s. 6d. each For measurement send the circumferences at call, ankle, and mstep. B AILEY'S TRUSSES. With or without springs. Every known Cruikshank (George, Jr.). Yoick! Heads and Tales, Tips and Turns Over, (with a Spill or Two Thrown In) By Phiz, Judy's Other Sporting Artists, and Judy's Special Sporting Commissioner, (The Other Jones). To which are added A Few Plasters and Splinters By Charles H. Ross. With 5 Colored and many plain illustrations by "Phiz" {in his best style), and George Cruikshank, Jr. 8vo, pictorial wrappers, rebacked. Enclosed in red cloth protecting wrapper. London: "Judy" Office [1878] First Edition. At the end of the volume there is a chapter on "The other Jones's Friend's Coach," with several woodcuts, including two full-page cuts signed, "George Cruikshank," and two full-page cuts signed "G. C. Jnr." From the J. Barton Townsend collection, with bookplate, various kinds ot (Jocoa. Homoepathic and other prepared Cocoas retailed at I about 1/4 per lb. Cadbury's Paris Depot : 90 Faubourg St. Honore. BEWARE OF IMITATIDHS WHICH ARE OFTEN PUSHED BY SHOPKEEPERS FOR THE SAKE OF EXTRA PROFIL Pearl and other Cocoas retailed at about 8d. per lb. CADBURY'S COCOA ESSENCE. OTZZE Tone OF TXXES IJ-A.'Sr 'HE OCCUPATION OF CYPRUS.— FEVER AT NICOSIA. Jeopardy of Iiife.— The Great Danger of Delay. After suffering from FEVER FOUR TIMES, in each attack with great severity — in fact, three of them could not have been more dangerous or critical — from a very extensive and careful observation, extending over a period ot forty years, I am per- fectly satisfied the " true cause " of fever is lisordered condi- tion of the liver. The office of the liver is to cleanse the blood 3S a scavenger might sweep the streets. When the liver is not working properly a quantity of effete matter is left floating in the blood. Under these circumstances, should the poison-germ of fever be absorbed then the disease results ; on the contrary, any one whose liver and other organs are in a normal condition may be subjected to precisely the same conditions as to the con- tagious influences and yet escape the fever. This, I consider, explains satisfactorily the seeming mystery that some persons who are placed in circumstances peculiarly favourable for the development of fever, who, in fact, living in the very midst of it, escape unscathed. This being the case, the importance of KEEPING THE LIVER IN ORDER CANNOT BE OVER-ESTIMATED; and I have pleasure in directmg at- tention to my FRUIT SALT, which, in the form of a plea- sant beverage, will correct the action of the liver, and thus pre- \ent the many DISASTROUS CONSEQUENCES: not only IS an efficient means of WARDING OFF FEVERS and MALARIOUS DISEASES, but as a REMEDY FOR and PREVENTIVE OF BILIOUS or SICK HEADACHES, CONSTIPATION, VOMITING, THIRST, ERRORS of EATING and DRINKING, SKIN ERUPTIONS, GIDDI- NESS, HEARTBURN, &c. If its geat value m keeping the body in health was UNIVERSALLY KNOWN, NO FAMILY WOULD BE WITHOUT A SUPPLY. In many forms of fever, or at the COMMENCEMENT ofany FEVER, ENO'S FRUIT SALT ACTS as a SPECIFIC. No one can have a simpler or more efficient remedy ; by its use the POISON IS THROWN OFF and the BLOOD RESTORED TO ITS HEALTHY CONDITION. I used my FRUIT SALT freely in my last attack of fever, and I have every reason to say It saved my life. — J. C. Eno, Hatcham Fruit Salt Works, S.E. JJOW TO CHECK DISEASE AT^THB ONSET. TTSE ENO'S FRUIT SALT.— IMPORTANT TO ALL TRAVELLERS.— "Please send me half a dozen bottles of ENO'S FRUIT SALT. I have tried ENO'S satisfactory results. I can faithfully. An Englishma India, June ' "" ALL TRAVELLERS.— "Please send me half a dozen bottles of ENO'S FRUIT SALT. I have tried ENO'S FRUIT SALT in America, India, Egypt, and on the Con- tinent, for almost every complaint, fever included, with the most strongly recommend it to all travellers HOWTC system drinks, and people, unle: drinks, avoid wine, dark s white wines. ENO'S F. sesses the po track to he: therefore no not be wlthc Chemists, J< 143- iinenc, lor aimosi every coiiipiaini, lever inciuaea, witn me most trongly recommend it to all travellers ; in fact, I am never without it. — -Yours [, F.R.G.S., M.R.A.S., &c. ; Executive F.n^in.'tf--,:" "^utOgrapH slgnatuic, GEORGE CRUIKSHANK S ^^^Hl^'.'J^Tcruikshank 1820. and which is a very early signature .^ ^^^^j mareins are numerous words i" I^^^^^^hes by George Cruiki "'Sains 32 ^^r^^'zlTS^tS^^n^S^^^' ^"^T"? ^nh Hro^hetS^ SSSSg'anTea^ly Cruikshank volumes for sale in recent years. ^ ^ T AVATFR a C). Physiognomy; CRUIKSHANK Drawing^ ^uf Conformation of the.Featur ing Analogy between the J^omor ^^^^ ^^^ ^^.^.^^, ^^ " Rosina Cottage, Ventnor, Isle of Wight, January 29, 1877. " Mr. Eno. — Dear Sir, — The effects in my case are truly astonishing, as I am constitutionally bilious, and am now 52 years of age. My mother and youngest sister were never cured of sickness (biliousness seems hereditary), and I quite expected to suffer like them for the rest of my life. I am now taking my fourth bottle, and was joined in the others by some of my family, so that I have taken scarcely three bottles. I feel I ought to make some acknowledgement, so trust you will excuse this. — Yours sincerely, Eliza Felling." CA.XT'TIOISr.-Examine each Bottle, and see the Capsule is marked "ENO'S FRUIT SALT." Without it you have been i>it/>osed on by a ivnrthless iiintatibn. SOLD BY ALL OHEMISTS. Price 2S. gd. and 4s. 6d. FRUIT SALT WORKS, HATCHAM, LONDON, S.E. d (O ^ 0 NICHOLSON'S / \% ^ Patterns Free. 50, to 5S ST. PAUL'S CHURCHYARD, 18 4 3. ijii:ijit4w' e'j4';x>rate analysis of yo-jr foo^l. It proves perfectly genuine, and tne preparation it has underj^one during; the lenifthened pro'.-i's^ of gent;<; heating prevents any liability to the hatching of animal hfe. so common amonj; raw farinaceous foois. As food for chii'lr'rn 'l:;rin^ and after dentition, these constituents contain the elements of strong flesh-forming nutriment ; while for invalids the lightness consequent ui>om tb^ time occupied in cooking must (>e a most valuable qjality." — Dk. Knjt;r;s FW^iO makes delicious CUSTAKDS, BAKED PlTDDI.VGS, and BLA.SCMA-S'GKS : it i-. also largely used fer thickeni.ig Soups, Gravies, Sic. Sold by Chemists and Growers everywhere, id. to lor '^. Manufactory: Dr. RIl OE A. CO . KOYAI., FOOD MILL;8, KINGSLANP, IX)NDON. EN BOW'S WOED RENOWNED DOG MIXTURE In Bottles 2s,, 5s., and 10s. each ; and One Gallon Cans lOT the use of Kennels, 45s. each. From LORD LURGAN, Owner of " Mastek McGp.atk," three times Winner of the Waterloo Cup, &c. " Brov/nloTv House, Licrgan, Irelattd, December t^tli, 1872. " I have u.scd Ben bow's Mixture for some years for my Greyliounds, and am quite satisfied that it improves the health and condition of the Dogs. "(Signed), LURGAN." IN TABLETS, SIXPENCE EACH, THOROUGHLY CLEANSES THE SKIN, REMOVING ALL INSECTS, ETC. SOLD y. V .-. L L C .H E M I S T S A ;.• L. F- E R F •; .'-I E R S, ManTifkctory-12 LITTLE BRITAIN. TaOlTDON, B.C. STEINER'S VERMIN PASTE, For RATS, COCKROACHES, &c. Sold by all ChemLsts, in 3d., 6d,, and is. Glass Jars, A\-ith Directions for Use. CONSTANTLY HAVE IN READINESS C H A S. L O W D E B, M. D., L. R. C. S., Ryde, Isle of Wight, Dec 18, 1876, writes : " I have used ' Pond's Extract ' for some years, and have f-'und it of much senice. especially for Piies. where its action was very marked." A CoiAN'Et, in the English Army, whose name is with- held by request, writes : " Your fluid U a miracle in heal- ing ulcers and sores." He IS now cured. Nenrali?ia, Gont. Pains, Aches and. Swellings. Ulcers, Piles. Hemorrhages, &c. ESTABLISHED THIRTV'-FIVE YEARS. T/iii rififntiied Extract is administered internally, and applied as a Icticm, "P^OTn] H)'?^ ^''* everywhere at is. i^d., Sole Proprietors, -^- ^-^-'- -"—^ »^-> 2S. 3d., 4.. 6d., and 8s. 6d. per ,- - . , , „ *^ _ ' bottle, or sent to any address on 482 OXfOfd StreCt, LODdOD, Extract Company receipt of 15, 30, 60, or 112 stamps, 1 by the AND AT KEW YORK. MAKE YOUR OWN CHARCOAL, the new cure tor INDIOEaTION, Bcd lt« terrible train of DUs«affefl. BILIOC8 and LrVEB COMPLAINTfl. Uatiltaal Cooslipation. BbeumatUrm , and all aSectlonB of the Clie«t and Kidneys. Bac!p« for Its preparation and use, together with a trial Box of CONCEN'TBATKD CHAKCOAL. DIOB8TIOK PILLS, sent free on application Enclose Stamped Addrees^^d Envelope to " Mannger, Sanitary CartKm Company, NottlDgham." I>r. Bsasall says "Tour Charcoal Is pore, well carbozilaeII«I3CT I»TJieXr'IEIS or* THE IBX^OOZ) And other fluids of the human body. Many pejsons have found these Pills of great sei~vice both in pi-eventing and relieving SEA- SICKNESS; and in Warm Climates they are very beneficial in all Bilioics Complaints. ALSO WHELFTON'S VSGETABIii: STOMACH FILLS Are particularly suited to Weakly Persons, being exceedingly mild and gradual in their operation, imparting tone and vigour to their Digestive Organs. Safe Aperient, Established. free from Mercury. A.D. 1835. ROYAL EMBROCATION. Sold in boxes, price 7id., is. i^d., and 2s. gd., by G. WHELPTON and SON, 3 Crane Court, Fleet Street, London, and all Chemists and Medicine Vendors at home and abroad. Sent free by post in the United Kingdom for 8, 14, or 33 stamps. 0 „'^-S 01 1 >-?■- • J! h'-^S " a-s d S s '^"^ W goo o£^>-^ «'i rt"S PA n pi ■g c "^ "O -J ", ■<» Lame Hunter. [Trade Mark.] Royal Huiiti;r Cured. ELLIMAN'S ROYAL EMBROCATION. For Sprains of all kinds. For Sore Throats and Influenza. For Rheumatism in Horses. For Broken Knees, Bruises, Wounds. For Sore Mouths in Sheep and Lambs. For Foot Rot. Op Chemists and Saddlers, in bottles, zs., 2S. 6d., and y. 6d. prepared by ELLIIifEAN, SONS, & CO., sxjOTJc3-h:. -f*^¥^****^H>-f+-f'P-H'A BREAKING COVER. " \/^ O I C K S ! " vociferated Judy's Special Sporting Commis- X sioner. " What is the exact meaning of that observation ? " inquired Judy's Editor, " because, in these matters, it is almost best to be a little careful." "What's it mean ? "cried Judy's Special Sporting Commissioner, in a tone of withering sarcasm. " Surely, any child just left the nursery could tell you that ! Look in the dictionary," On this Judy's Editor, to whom trouble is as nothing, consulted Johnson (in two volumes), and Walker (remodelled by Smart), and Buchanan's Technological (explaining the terms of the arts, sciences, literature, professions, and trades), and Hotten's Slang (revised and corrected, with many additions by Chatto and Windus) ; but he could find nothing whatever about " YoiCKS ! " although there was, up and down, a good deal about " tally-ho 1 " " I say, look here," said Judy's Editor : " suppose somebody comes into the shop and asks our Publisher what 'YoiCKs! 'means, and insists on being told before he pays his shilling .-' " "With a hey, ho, chevy ! " replied Judy's Special Sporting Com- missioner. " I beg your pardon ? " said Judy's Editor, encircling his right ear with his right hand, the better to catch the remark. " Hark forward, hark forward, tantivy ! " added the S. S. Commis- sioner. " No, but look here, joking apart," said Judy's Editor : " suppos- ing anybody docs ask what is the meaning of * YoiCKS ! '" ****** Later on Judy's Special Sporting Commissioner was heard ex- pressing his surprise that an Editor of that sort should be retained upon the premises. Saddle Room, 73 Flcci Street, September, 1S78. PROPOSED TESTIMONIAL TO THE OTHER JONES. A NUMBER of gentlemen with and without a taste for sport, who have long had the honour of hstening to the Other Jones's recital of his adventures by land and sea at various times, for hours together, having expressed a desire to present him with a testimonial of respect, the following gentlemen have consented to act as a Committee to receive subscriptions to effect that object, and they earnestly solicit the co-operation of all true lovers of what is wild and weird and wonderful ! A. JONES (late the Only). J. SMITH (of London). T. BROWN (of the Provinces), — ROBINSON (of Timbuctoo, when at home). N.B. — It is suggested by the Committee, subject to general approval, that the testimonial in c[uestion should take the shape of a medal in putty. n%t LETTERS 'thnh. PATENT. . H.J- ARTIFICIAL TEETH Adapted on an entirely NEW AND IMPROVED System of London, 1862 ^ London, 1862 PAINLESS DENTISTRY. CyPtoitctcH bjr Kw X2Q.a|fst2'js :EiffgaI y^tttm ^Patent) 57, GT. RUSSELL ST., IMMEDIATELY OPPOSITE THE BRITISH MUSEUM, Paris, 1867. TuCDI^nDCDIyT. New York, 1853. PAMPHLET GRATIS AND POST FREE. ^f ENTERED AT STATIONERS HALL. CONTENTS. THE "DRAW." A NECESSARY EXPLANATION .... AN UNNECESSARY EXPLANATION THE "FIND." THE OTHER JONES CHEZ LUI HUNTING ON WHEELS MAKING SURE OF A RUN .... "FULL CRY.' The First Pillar Post at Wumpsey. I. starting fair . II. puss III. LOST IV. FOUND .... Out with the Haggleford Hounds. I. flighty .... II. AWKWARDNESS AT HAGGLEFORD HI. THE TERRORS OF NIGHT IV. ALL AT HOiME AT UNCLE FLIGHTY'S V. A BYE-DAY .... VI. GONE TO GRASS . VII. MOUNTING UNDER DIFFICULTIES VIII. THE LAST MAN OUT . . . IX. IN AT THE FINISH ODDS AND ENDS. "potting" as a HIGH ART THE SNIPE OFF HIS TOAST MODERN DIANAS . SLAUGHTER . SOME ''OTHER JONEs'S " HURRIED CUB MURDER THAT CLERK OF THE WEATHER A HUNDRED YEARS AGO 'tittlebats" THE OTHER JONES'S FRIEND'S COACH. the "greased lightning" A neat TURN-OUT AN OPPOSITION COACH ........ Page i6 16 26 33 34 35 44 45 46 54 54 5S 62 65 67 68 72 72 84 90 100 lOI 103 103 104 to5 107 109 IIG III WRIGHT'S COAL TAR SOAP, SAPO CARBONIS DETERGENS. Mr. Jas. Star- tin, M.B.C.S., Surgeon to St. John's Hospital for Diseases of the Skin, says : — Highly and extensively recommended for the I'oilet, a!id in all cases of Cutaneous disease, by the late Mr. Jas. / ^^* Startin, M.D., i:■ S>-5 ° SO 81 ^pm 33 34 FULL CRY. THE FIRST PILLAR-POST AT WUMPSY. I.— STARTING FAIR. A TOWN-BRED man, ■^^ who has travelled but little in out-of-the-way parts of England, going nowadays for the first time to Wumpsy, would scarcely believe his eyes : it is so quaint and curious a place, and so far behind the times, yet it is barely fifty miles distant from Charing Cross. But there is a probability that some of these fine days Wumpsy may lose people have come down within the last year or two, bringing new ways with them. True, they still carry the post-bag in a cart seven miles across country. I myself rode in that same cart less than eighteen months ago, and the postman who picked me up on the high road and gave me a lift, asked me whether the Crimean War was still going on 1 I thoujrht it a all its old characteristics. Some new ©pity to disturb this Rip-Van-Winklean 35 3 — 2 THE FIEST PILLAE-POST AT WUMPSY. "Ah, bout, I But,, What ho ! dream, to which he must by this time have got ac- customed, and I told him that it was ; but if Napo- leon would only stand firm to his promises, we might take Sebastopol in a year or so longer, and then al; would be well. He shook is head, and said, 's been a longish in'tit?" s I said, a change will come, and perhaps sooner than any of us think for. It is quite three years ago that Scrubson, one of the new men, put up one of those new-fangled pillar- posts in front of his garden gates, to the astonishment of most people, particularly the postman, who accepted the innovation cautiously, offering no opinion. At Bigglow Bottom, a little beyond Chuckstead, the farmers' hunt had been carried on for the last thirty or forty years with but small changes worth speak- ing of. There were not many hounds. No one had strictly speaking charge of the pack, which were unkennelled and kept here and there in ones and twos by their respective owners, the farmers, behind whom they came trotting and wag- ging their tails to the meet upon a hunting morning. The meet would take place very early — as early as it was light, those living a distance oft rising by candlelight, so as to be in good time. Old Farmer Jepson was most certain to be the first in the field, weighing close on fourteen stone and bestriding a sixteen-hands' rat-tailed white-stockinged horse with a Roman nose, and a white sheepish face. It had carried its owner for many years, and, as he said, knew either side of every fence they were likely to want to go over. The doctor would most likely be the next. His was also a Roman-nosed animal, a crop- eared cob, well up to his work. Then came the brewer on his bay mare, with a tail down to her hocks. The overseer might be next, and the parish clerk, and now and again the parson on his dun pony. As a rule, a good half-hour or three-quarters would elapse before any signs were seen of Puss ; and Jowler,and Towler, Prince Regent, Merrythought, and Funnibone would in turn be urged to exert themselves to the utmost, and alternately praised and contemned as they threw their tongues and head in air and took the lead, only to return again ignomin- ously after a momentary triumph. Presently the farrier, who has come across the stubble from his whitewashed cottage, would set to beating the turnips with a serious matter-o'-fact face : " Hoop ! hoop ' there she goes ! " " Yo-hoicks ! " cries somebody. " Shut up ! will you ? " cries somebody else. The field are very active now, all pricking up their ears, and Puss pricks hers up also. SG ' It 's drier out here.' 38 39 4.1 42 43 THE FIKST PILLAE-POST AT WUMPST. II.— PUSS. I " Where are you going '/ " T is the farrier who has started her, and she makes for the rise beyond the turnip- field, her ears lying straight upon her back. At sight of her a great hubbub arises among the hounds, and they scramble through the hedge bordering the turnip-field, the sports- men following as best they can through one or two gaps, which grow wider and wider as they make the passage, smashing the bushes on either side. But the hounds are not very fleet of foot, and the hare has soon left them behind. Though lost to view, however, the dogs have still their noses to depend on, and follow in a straggling line, urged on by their masters, who by this time have all got through, down to the farrier and Giles's boy— supposed, by Giles Senior, to be scaring birds from a meadow half a mile off. And now, the brow of the hill reached, comes a sudden check. Jepson and the doctor have dismounted, and are pricking and lifting over difficult ground, to give Towler and Prince Regent a lead. Now they've got it ! Prince Regent speaks to the scent-^the rest follow, straining every nerve. The hunt is up again, and for the next half-mile the hills around re-echo the voices of men and hounds. Another stoppage. She has got among the furze on the outskirts of Chuck- stead Common. It is rough riding here : the ground is cut up on the right and left into dangerous pits and quarries. Often has a hunt come to an ignoble ending at this same place. Jepson is off his horse again. The indefatigable farrier, breath- less and perspiring profusely, is hard at work pricking again, whilst the hounds are over and over the ground as busy as ants. All of a sudden she springs up in the very midst of the pack, and for a moment seems to be between Prince Regent's open jaws. But she has escaped by a miracle, leaving a little fur upon his lips, and a second or two later she is out on the open, running for dear life. Once more hounds and men are left behind. She makes one supreme effort, in which her heart is fit to burst, and reaches the high hedge that cuts off the Common from the Wumpsy road. Poor Puss ! Her sleek fur is all dabbled with mud. Her eyes seem strained and bloodshot. It's a case with her ! 44 " Woa, Lmnia ! " THE FIEST PILLAR-POST AT WUMPSY. III.— LOST. WHICH way has she gone now? Some of the huntsmen, looking at the hedge, which shows no signs of a weak place to creep through, hope she has turned and is stealing away up the dry ditch. Prince Regent is of opinion that this is the case, and takes to it. So do Towler and Jowler, only they go in a different direction. The rest of the pack are again at a loss. Only Funnibone hits it off correctly, and he dashes through the hedge. The sportsmen come up and give the hedge a closer inspection, and none of them much care for it ; but the hounds have followed Funnibone, and there is tremendous excitement in the road beyond. " Round by the gate ! " shouts the farrier ; but old Farmer Jepson has not patience. " Dang it ! I can but try," he says ; and he goes pounding through with the crackling noise of half a dozen bonfires. The doctor follows, and the rest come blundering after, and all somehow or other reach the road. But there are no signs of Puss ! In front of them stands Scrubson's new house, and in front of it Scrubson's pillar-post ; and it is difficult to say which of the two is the more unsightly. The latter is at present a dirty green, but it is soon to be a bright vermiHon, it would seem, for on one side there is already a patch of that colour, about a foot long and half a foot wide, and close by stands the paint-pot, though the painter himself is not visible. Puss is nowhere ! Funnibone, with his forepaws on the pillar, is barking at it in an imbecile manner. The rest of the dogs are running up and down in a loose and careless kind of way. The whole pack seem to be thoroughly dis- organized. " Dang the head on ye ! " vociferates old Jepson to the foolish Funnibone— " come off of that, ye raging maniac ! " Far away to the right and left stretches- the white high road, bounded on the opposite side by the bran-new brick wall set up round his property by the new man Scrubson. On the hedge side of the road from which they had come, there is no ditch, and but very little chance of a cover for the hunted hare. It is not likely she has run back through the hedge again to meet her pursuers half-way. Funnibone has evidently made a fool of himself all along. Puss has never left the Common. Indeed, how could she have left it? for if she has, what has become of her ? Has the earth swallowed her up ? Whilst Jepson and the others, with a mighty clamour and a free use of forcible expletives, are getting the hounds back again as well as they could through the hedge, the painter comes out and watches them, as does also Scrubson— the latter with by no means a pleasant countenance. 4o Who breaks doesn't pay. THE FIEST PILLAE-POST AT WUMPSY. Not well throuL'h, IV.— FOUND. " /^URSED tomfoolery ! "he says,"1cnock- ^^-^ ing the place to bits ! Lucky for them they didn't damage the pillar, or I 'd have had the law on them ! " The painter is not quite of the same way of thinking, although he ventures on no re- mark. If he had not had that confounded pillar to paint, he himself might have been out seeing the sport. As it is, he waits until the voices of the huntsmen and hounds have clean died away before he returns to his work. About an hour later the postman comes up. " I say, mister ! " the painter calls out to him, " have you got your key with you ? Open us the door here, if you don't mind." " Some one begun posting their letters in it already ? Is there a letter in- side?" " Blessed if I know ! It ain't a dead 'un if there is. Clap your ear agin' this, will you ? " Then the postman stoops down and opens the door with considerable caution, the painter looking on from behind at a safe distance. ****** " I fortunately came up just at this moment," says the Other Jones, who has kindly forwarded us this account by our special wire — (he says he thought Special Commissioners always used special wires ; but we have told him that the penny post will be good enough in future) — "I fortunately came up just at this moment, or I should not have believed it ! — Funnibone was right : it was the hare that had taken refuge there ! and Funnibone following on her must have run at the pillar like a bull at a gate, and accidentally banged the door, which previously had been left standing open for the paintei-'s con- venience. " There has been a great row since about the ownership of the hare. As one of the hunt, though somewhat behind the rest (I started half an hour later), I naturally laid claim to the prize. But Scrubson also claimed it, and so did the painter. Meanwhile, the postman has taken charge of it, and refuses to give it up, alleging as a reason for his ob- stinacy that he is in communication with the Postmaster-General upon the subject " I will wire directly anything new turns up. " Will you woa, or woan't you : 46 47 1 49 50 51 52 alTthe way rtKSr Ai lY SLQPER JUDTS HIGH JINKSHIS^H lEiEiiiHMiEnia \r* A BOOK OF COMICAUTIES_^^ RATTLETRAP & TOOTJJIUWlEb RRACKERS AND KISSES ^^ ALLY SLOPER'S CUIDE ^gxTnLfroN^lEI M I V Ql nPFR'S BOOK OF BEAUTY 'JUDY OFFICE 73 FLEET STREETJ^ONDONJi.C, Wi wi 9-9 / ftllSf *■''■ -# 53 OUT WITH THE HAGQLEFORD HOUNDS. I.— FLIGHTY. THE day before the Other Jones — specially commissioned and generously provided with letters of credit, and two noble quadrupeds, chestnut and bay, at twelve guineas each per month — had arranged to start upon his northern tour, young Tom Flighty dropped in at the JUDY Office, and in that impulsive way of his there is no gainsaying, cried, " Let him come and have a day with my uncle's hounds. I 've been meaning to go and see the old boy any time the last ten years, and hang me if I don't do it to-morrow. Let Jones come too ; or, stay ! — I '11 be off myself by the last down train to-night. There 's nothing like striking while the iron is hot. Here 's the address. Tell Jones to be sure to come. By the way, have you a telegram form about you ? " n.— AWKWARDNESS AT HAGGLEFORD. " TS there a groom waiting here with my horses ?" inquired a loud-toned little i. gentleman, of a moony porter on the platform of a dreary little railway station, one dismal wet evening in the latter part of October, just about dusk. " Arn't seen no one, sir," rephed the man. " But, God bless me ! " cried the loud-toned little gentleman, " this is surely Haggleford!" " Middy 'Aggifur' this be. Loik 't wur Owd 'Aggifur' or Noo 'Aggifur' wur he wur to be." " Well, I want one of the Hagglefords, anyhow ! " cried the little gentleman, impatiently ; "there's not the distance of the world between them all, I sup- pose?" " Noa, sur," replied the porter, v/ith a broad grin. " T' noo tarn be foive miles, loik, an' t' owd tarn maybe foor." " It's the New Haggleford, I suppose. There's a station there, I believe.-'" " Ees, there be a joonction." " That 's good enough. I see I 've made a mistake. Get me a fly, will you ? " "A floi?" repeated the porter, scratching his head and looking about him as though he thought he were expected to catch one buzzing. " Yes, look sharp. Anything will do. I can't walk through this rain." The porter scratched his_head again, and passed his hand over his face and seemed to ohoke. The little gentleman, who, by-the-bye, wore very high heels, went stamping up the platform, swearing as they swore in Flanders. " Confoundedly disgraceful, I call it, leaving the place in charge of such an imbecile. Where's the station-master, you sir? Do you hear me there ? Where's the station-master ? " This to a youthful clerk at the pay place, and the youthful clerk having fetched out the person asked for, a mild middle-aged man, grey-headed, blue-eyed, and bald, assured him politely that there was no possible chance of getting any kind of trap anywhere nearer than the new town, and as there was nobody but the porter to see to the signals when the next luggage train, due in twenty- five minutes,, passed through, there was nobody to send. '■' Perhaps if you walked, sir, it would be best," "What cheer?" the station-master added ; and the loud-toned, high-heeled angry little man (the Other Jones was the name they knew him by in certain circles) buttoned up his coat reso- lutely, and set forth across the Do^vns. 55 57 OUT WITH THE HAGGLEFORD HOUNDS. A' Where 's he off to ? III.— THE TERRORS OF NIGHT. S the faint lights in the station behind him grew fainter and fainter, the rain began to fall faster and faster, and the wind began to blow like the very deuce. On splashed the luckless Other through the mud and water, cursing the day he was weak enough to allow himself to be specially com- missioned. The rain by this time was pouring down in torrents. The umbrella he had with him was a fool of a thing, with, so to speak, no marrow in its bones. After a wild struggle or two with the brutal north-easter, he shut the umbrella up in despair, thrust it under his arm, and sought solace for his aching wrist in his coat- pocket. Then, with his coat-collar turned up high round his ears, he splodgered and squelched on. A steady downfall of rain is always an awful shut-up for a town-bred man. A sort of end of the world ! He leaves town on a sunshiny day, and naturally expects that the sunshine will last for ever ! If it doesn't, he's simply nowhere, unless he be back in town again. Presently, however, after some twenty minutes' steady walking, he pulled up short. Not a light could he now see in any direction. " Good heavens ! " he cried, " I must have missed the road ! How big is this brute of a moor, or prairie, or desert, or whatever it may be ? Miles and miles, perhaps ; or, who knows ? I may be wandering round and round in a circle like a mill horse ! I shall die of cold and wet, or be worried by shepherds' dogs, or perhaps there are mad bulls Good Lord ! what 's that ? " The sky was wellnigh of pitchy darkness ; What 's he into ? " Why don't you follow'; yet, right in front of him, a monstrous figure rose up black against the blankness behind it ! "It has got horns !" he gasped. "Ought I to run, or stand s- plucky and playful. Always encourage them. 83 SPOET; OK THE GLOEIES OF SEPTEMBEE. Always lay in a good stock of ammuni- tion, as some birds take a good deal of killing. If there are two or more, always all fire at once, as the bird may get confused, and you tnen stand a better chance (N B. — Mix a little salt with your powder if you aim at the tail of the bird.) When you discover your bird, approach him gently on tip-toe, looking as pleasant as possible, and you will find the bird become most friendly, for then the poor thing knows very well you wouldn't hurt it. "POTTING" AS A HIGH ART. " nPHERE 'LL be deadly murder afore the day 's out, mark my words," said JL the cadaverous gamekeeper with the fur cap. How murder could be anything- else except deadly was a question nobody went into. Some shook their heads and shuddered, but no remark was made. The following is an extract from a letter addressed to the Editor of Judy by Jeremiah Hawthorne, Esqre., of Hawthorne Hall, Somersetshire, a descendant of the famous friend of the still more famous Corinthian Tom. " .... I trust if your friend thinks of going out again, he will insure in the Accidental, or perhaps it would be better if those forming the rest of the party were to do something of the kind, for I am inclined to think O. Jones has a charmed life. There are such people, I believe, and O. Jones is one of them. " It must be allowed that birds are comparatively safe when he is about. I would back him, though, against any cockney shot that ever came down to these 84 SPORT; OE THE GLOEIES OF SEPTEMBER. Should you both happen to hit a bird (of course you would not, because it's very cowardly to hit anything that isn't your own size), and any dispute arises, always tear the bird in halves, which is by far the fairest wav. You will find the clay soil so invigorating ! By the way, always get a good thick coating on your boots ; it looks business-like. Cf\ME Above all, never rettirn empty-handed. parts to fill a bag with setters, pointers, and markers ; and it 's all a chance how it falls out with anything human within eighty yards of his breechloader. " I took the liberty to point out to him that the contents of a gun might pos- sibly be too much for a human at short range, and that even when one is a long way off, and gets the shots more scattered, it is anything but a pleasant occupa- tion fishing them out svith the prong of a luncheon fork. "We started enrlv in the morning of the First, and before we had got half across the four acres beyond the orchard, he had rattled off briskly at Giles's 85 SOMETHI NG IN THAT. Indignant Sportsman. So tliat's the nay your confoxinded dog fetches the game, is it — the dog you said could do everything hut speak ? Gamekeeper. Well, this is what it is, sir. If lie could speak, he ^d tell you to go and fetch it yourself. How the deuce can he fetch it wlien you never bring nothink down ? gaiters, taking 'em probably for ground game. Luckily only one shot went through, but that got well into the calf, and Giles said a deal about it. " Nobody could exactly say how this accident had taken place ; but when, as we were talking it over, somebody happened to observe the way your Jones was handling his gun, so that it was at all times in a position that enabled those around, if they thought fit to do so, to look down the barrel, we cleared a space round him and asked him to do otherwise. It was a trying time, too, to get over a hedge with the knowledge that he was following close behind you on full-cock towards the back buttons of your shooting-jacket. "When we got with the birds and the time for the bird shooting had begun, I hinted as politely as I could that he ought to aim as high as possible. We didn't so much mind his blowing the brains out of a mangold-wurtzel, but he had a setter with his second shot, and then a white hat on a line of fire with the covey — belonging to a married man, too, with a large family — came in the way and got pepper. But the hottest job of all the lot was that of Badger, that long white-faced 8C THE SCHOOLMASTER ABROAD. Eemorseless Young Villain. No spoH! TI>/^, look here: our scJwolmaster^s just coming down the lane. Fire loiv, and you'll bag asjine a hrace of calces as you keeper you remember, perhaps. He had a fur cap on at the time, and was on ahead some distance. Your O. Jones, if you please, got away from the rest of the party, and sighted Badger's fur through a gap in a hedge. Bang at it he goes, and Badger bobs. Jones, elated with his success (he said afterwards he took it for a hare), loads again, and advances. Badger, lying on his face in the dry ditch, roars out for him to leave off, but the wind is blowing towards Badger, and Jones can't hear. Presently the fur cap bobs up again, and bang ! goes Jones again. Then, somebody happily sees what is going on, and rushing to the spot, seizes Jones, and v/rests the murderous weapon from his grasp, and Badger, after con- siderable persuasion, comes to the surface. " Take that ragin' maniac home and put him to bed," cries Badger. " Gun or no gun, he's dangerous. A blank cartridge is sudden death without firing if he lays hold of it." *»»*♦* 87 88 THE SNIPE OFF HIS TOAST. -"^ ^ HE snipe," says Mr. Samuel Wood, in his " British Bird Preserver " (by the way, can kilhng birds for the purpose ot stuffing them be rightly called preserv- ing birds ?) " is very similar to the wood- cock in appearance and habits, except that it is smaller. It is very rapid in its flight, and may be found in most marshy places, and by many slow streams." P'illed with a wild yearning to way- lay his own snipe by fair means or foul, and toast the same with musical honours, the Other Jones one evening sought out a roadside inn, adjacent to a marshy place, whereat he was given to understand snipes did mostly con- gregate. It was one of those delightful old- fashioned inns that dwellers in luxuri- ously-appointed town houses gush over hysterically when away from home for a short holiday ; the kind of place that in the good old wretched uncomfortabte coaching days of the past, was a haven of rest to be mentioned in the cramped and chilblained travellers' prayers. What a cosy parlour that was, lurking behind the browny-red curtains, so low-roofed one felt afraid to stand up at places with a high-crowned pot hat on. What roaring fires, and all the nasty, uncomfortable heat going straight up the chimney ! What artful screens of many folds to keep the draught otf your back, whilst two other doors on either side of you are left wholly un- protected, and a wind like a knife saws away at either ear ! *' What motherly landladies ! '' as De Quincey says somewhere among his many rambling rhap- sodies. " Won how readily to kindness the most lavish, by the mere attractions of simplicity and youthful innocence, and finding so much interest in the bare circumstance of being a traveller at a childish age ! " And I have myself no doubt whatever that a youthful " outside " traveller by the coach was received with acclamation, and treated eti Priftce. And again, does he not say, " What bloom- ing young handmaidens ! how different from the knowing and worldly demireps of modern high roads ! And sometimes grey-headed, faithful waiters, how sin- cere and how attentive by comparison with their flippant successors, the eternal ' Coming, sir, coming ! ' of our improved generation !" The Opium Eater had possibly eaten more o-pium than usual when he wrote that about the waiters, though probably with regard to the blooming young hand- maidens he was to a certain extent correct (that is to say, of course, I mean that his data was correct). O Phillis ! O Chloe of my youth ! where are you now ? I have no notion. At the places where I drop in for my quarter sea-biscuit and half-glass of toast and water (all I am allowed by my doctor, I assure you), there are but Flora, Laura, Aurora, and Rosalind, who, I must confess (though re- luctantly) are as good or better-looking even than what I remember of Phillis and Chloe to have been ; and yet, poor girls, how well they meant ! It must be admitted that the Other Jones arriving on foot — for the coach had long ceased to run — found the welcome accorded to him sufficiently genial. Quite a patriarchal retainer asked what he would take, and on the Other Jones's inquiry in his turn what there was, the patriarchal sought the rear of the pre- mises, and communed with those in power, and it ended in eggs and bacon. 90 TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING. Tomkyns, having raised a solendid head of game, ventures amongst the hares for a day's shooting, and barely escapes with his life. After the meal was over, the Other Jones be4;ook himself to the smoking-room and ordered a glass of grog and a cigar. There was a little gathering of the sociably-inclined of those parts, and one or two present could tell a good story which, having the Other Jones as an audience, they told readily and with much spirit. You may be sure, too, the Other Jones had, in his turn, his stories to re- late— that one about the tiger-hunt, and that about shooting mad elephants — causing, as usual, a profound sensation. " You've brought your dog and gun with you. Might you have come down this way for sport ?" respectfully inquired the local Vet. " Snipe," replied our Other Jones, crossing his legs with careless ease. " They're plentiful about here, I have been given to understand." " They 're a good bit popped at, sir," replied the Vet, " and they 're remarkably shy. Fact is, you 've no chance with 'em unless you're up before sunrise." " I '11 be off to bed, then. I suppose there 's some one can wake me, for my watch has stopped." The time had passed so rapidly whilst the story-telling had been going on, that it was now just on twelve. 91 LATEST FROM THE MOORS. Chorus, My bird, sir, 1 think! " Will six be too early for you ? " asked the Vet. " I '11 call you if it won't, as I 'm going out myself. The sun rises at half-past." It was agreed that this should be the arrangement, and our Other Jones re- '.urning to his room, flung his clothes on one side and himself upon the bed, and was fast asleep in no time. ****** Rat-tat-a-tat-tat ! " Good gracious ! is it six already ? " " Twenty past ! " cried the veterinary surgeon's voice from the other side of the bed-room door. Our Other felt fearfully sleepy, and began to regret his rashness in making such an appointment. As the poet says : "Cursed be the loud alarum set at random overnight, When one talks of early rising in a tons absurdly light." But there was no manly way out of the business, as it seemed to our Other ; so with a groan he crept out of bed and lit the candle. When he reached the inn door, he found it almost perfectly dark. The Vet. led the way, and our Other followed unsteadily. He had an extra glass over- night, and felt heavy and confused. His hand shook very much, too. It would be altogether the snipes' own fault if any fatal accident befell the snipe. 92 HAREY NOTHINGS. Laird (condescendingly). Bo you tliinh you could carry home a Itarc, Sandy ? Sandt. Weel, Laird, a dinna doot hut a could if a had a pair o' rahhlts tac balance it rcV. "Take care ! " said the Vet, presently. " Here's only a plank over this ditch, and no hand-rail. Lay hold of my hand." " If it were but a bit lighter," said our Other Jones. " We shan't be able to see the birds, if it goes on like this." " It 's a fog," said the Vet., " but it '11 clear off directl}'. Do you see, it 's brighter over there ? " " I don't notice 7mech difference," said our Other Jones. "We're getting to the fens now," continued his companion. "They're swarming there. Mind, here's another plank, and no hand-rail again. The fens are straight ahead. Go on quietly, and I '11 catch you up." Our Other did as he was told, not, however, without considerable misgivings. He did not quite see how he could ask his companion to lead him along any farther, unless his companion volunteered to do so, and this he did not do. Therefore, exercising the utmost caution, our Other tottered across the plank and felt his way into the darkness beyond. 93 6 TRUE VALOU R. Country Gentleman (to Foreign Friend). Hi! there; fire, man! don^t you see that liar J hach there ? FoKEiGNER. Vat! shoot ze poor ting down as it retreat? No, no, my good saire, rait till he turn ahouts and face mc, then I mill — zing ! Advancing a step at a time, he suddenly came upon a shallow pond, and was into it with both feet before he could pull up. Returning hastily, he began ta work his way round the bank, wondering which way he ought to go. All at once, however, it struck him that his friend the Vet. was very slow in following, and he stood still to listen. Not a sound was audible. He shouted again and again, but received no reply. He began to feel uneasy. He turned his back on the pond and walked straight ahead for twenty yards, till he came to a ditch. He kept by the side of it for about twenty yards farther, then turned and walked straight ahead again, and this time straight into another ditch. Still it was pitch dark. He was veiy wet and very cold, and was beginning to feel very frightened. He shouted and shouted till he was hoarse. Then he sat down upon the stump of a tree, and waited three mortal hours for daybreak, his unhappy dog shivering by his side. With the first streaks of early dawn he made the discovery that the inn where he had slept was just opposite to him, a stone's throw off on the other side of a ditch. He returned to it dead beat, though happier in his mind, and asked for some- thing hot and strong, at the same time inquired the time. " It 's only just gone six," said the landlord. " I thought you was abed, sir. I hope them gents didn't play no practical joke off on you after I 'd gone up- stairs." C4 05 96 97 r 99 ALPHONSE DE POMPON'S DAY'S PHEASANT SHOOTING. " Mon ami," said Alphonse, the other day to himself, in his chamber in Dean Street, Soho, " you have gone all ze summare, and not vonce shot ze fox or hunted ze vild cocq pheasant — you must ! " As Alphonse hears that the height of the season for pheasant shooting is about the first, he will go in for that, and practises accordingly ; To the delight of a lady lodger in the adjoining room. Having resolved upon making Wimble- don Common the scene of his exploits, he invests in a hunting costume, en royale. MODERN DIANAS. Does a girl look well floundering and stum^iling through a stubble field ? asks our Other Jones ; and are those gaiters really becoming ? A GIRL treads heavyish in shooting boots, is another of his observations. Some women would have you believe they can take any fence flying, and take oifence if you venture to doubt it. Some people, averse to "Veteran Highflyers," say that after the bridal the saddle ought to be abandoned. The softer sex sometimes falls quite as heavily as the other. 100 ALPHONSE DE POMPON'S DAY'S PHEASANT SHOOTING. And early in the morning of the First, starts. — " Come on, Billie ! 'Ere 's a per- forming Mossoo ! Hooray " He arrives on the Common, and waits several hours for pheasants to turn up. They don't ; so he attempts a little prac- tice at the butts, just to keep his hand in. But is eventually requested to leave by the commanding officer of a volunteer firing party. Alphonse remarked to his friend Gustave that evcnin;.', " Qui, mon ami, ze militaire only could compel a De Pompon to retire ; but for zat, ah ! I should have stopped and got a good bags ! " A POPULAR writer, in an article on grouse shooting, remarks upon those Gotlis and Vandals who contrive places of concealment for themselves where the moor- land marches with arable upland, and take pot-shots at the grouse as they settle upon the stooks of the late outstanding oat crop. " A man will do a good deal for a bag," says he ; " but battue shooting, contemptible as is that abnormal development of the human lust for slaughter, is venial compared with this miserable travestie of a noble sport. For my own part, I would sooner shoot park deer from a rest ; nay, I would even pepper pigeons at Hurlingham! " The Other Jones, who had been down to the Welsh Harp with a similar aim in view, left early, calling it brutal and disgusting work. Strictly .speaking he had hit nothing. 101 J /m^ The season is over, it is true ; but Snickler always bad a bad reputation as a suspected poacher. Was he really asleep ? ■^-A^X^ ^-< " My wife made me put an extra flannel " * Must talsc home something decent ' shirt into my bae, and said, 'The moment — so you bought a goose. Well, my wife you feel you 're getting damp, change it.' wouldn't be satisfied unless / had sJiot Now, I am as damp as ever I can stick, miy bird myself! " but I don't see my wa}' to changing," 102 " S-h — s-h-h-h ! Be quiet, can't you Fido? Tou 11 frighten the ducks away again, you stupid fool 1 " " Ladies first ! After you, madam." " Oh, no, sir ! pray go on. If any are left, I can have my turn." SOME "OTHER JONES'S." He must have been the Other Jones but one, who, when asked what sport he had had, said he had jugged a brace every morning before breakfast. "A pair of braces, old man, wasn't it?" said the friend he told, waking him up with a spank between the shoulders. There is only one man alive who really knows the story of" The Grouse in the Gun Room," and that is the Other Jones but one (on the mother's side). The peculiarity of the Other Jones's coat is the enormous number of pockets there are in it. He has a pocket for everything, and the particular thing he is looking for is always deep down in the last pocket. " I SAY, Jones," said a youthful friend of our Other, towards the close of the first hour's unsuccessful fishing one day, when both were young and sanguine, " my bait 's all gone. Where 's yours ? " "My what?" " Your bait." He hadn't thought of bringing any. " The pommel," the Other Jones once said, " is that part sticking up in front of the saddle you catch hold of when you jump over a fence." " I SAY, look here, Jones ! " said somebody, one day after dinner, interrupting our Other in the middle of an extraordinary story of an encounter with a shark ; "you said you were naked in the water. How, then, did you get that clasp knife out of r pocket ? " " Well," said our Other, with dignity, " if you know my story better than I do, you 'd better tell it yourself, hadn't you ? Go on." HTJiai^IEnD. The man who, looking in at a friend's house when wet through, after a day^s shooting, imprudently dried himself with a pound of gunpowder in his coat-tail pocket, went between the front doorposts witli the door under his right arm, and was found some distance off outside trying to shake his left leg loose from the scraper. He said he had no time to say good night. 103 JUDY'S LUNATIC CONTRIBUTOR ON "THE FIRST." The shooting season having com- menced, as usual, on "The First," in England, And Judy's Lunatic Contributor hav- ing read that " Sportsmen will this year irush the turnips and stubble in search of birds," that " Partridges are plentiful and strong," and that "Farmers have sold the right to kill rabbits at good prices this season ; " Although abroad it began a little earlier ; Writes to inform Judy that the fore- going is quite correct, he having been "all there" on "The First," and taken sporting sketches on the spots. Opposite are a few of them. In " Scrutators " admirable book on the science of fox hunting, he remarks upon the smfulness of killing cubs for the sake of counting noses, which hunts- men are sometimes apt to do ; and who for the sake of being paraded in print as the destroyers of so many braces of foxes by the season, take the opportunity of swelling their list of slain by snapping up cubs when there can be no merit in killing them ; and he tells of an old huntsman w-ho was once twitted for the paucity of his number booked. " I never counts 'em whilst they sucks," grunted the old man. JtJDT'S LUXATIC CONTEIBUTOE ON "THE FIEST/' Brushing the turnips. The strength of the partridges. A stony-hearted farmer selling the right to kill, in cold blood, the innocent rabbit, at a good price. THAT CLERK OF THE WEATHER A HUNDRED YEARS AGO. I HAVE heard so many elderly people going about talking of the springs and ■summers of their youth, and how much better they were than those we have 310 w, that I have taken the trouble to copy out of dear old Gilbert White's " Natural History of Selborne," the record taken by him of the weather just one hundred years ago, in 1778 : — " To the 1 3th januar)-, frost, with a little snow ; to the 24th January, rain ; to the 30th, hard frost. To the 23rd Feb., dark, harsh, foggy weather, with rain. To the end of the month, hard frost, with snow. To the end of the first fortnight in March, dark, harsh weather. From the ist to the end of the first fortnight in April, spring weather. To the end of the month, snow and ice. To the nth June, cool, with heavy showers. To the 19th July, hot, sultry, parching weather. To the end of the month, heavy showers. To the end of September, dr}', warm weather. To the end of the year, wet, with considerable intervals of sunshine.'' Just a little bit like it is now-a-days, it seems to me. 105 T^VITTERS HAS A DAY'S Here was an awful thing to happen to Twitters— an accidert not provided for by any of the rules of sport ! 'Well, Oi did thort fayther gi' 'hn a kicker.' TwiTTKRS (aside). This may be the one 1 shot ; but how 's it come to be so high ? " 106 TWITTERS HAS A DAY'S SPOET. ' Come on ! this is a short cut." "Shot the boy, have I?" said Twitters, in des- peration. " I felt as if I were bound to shoot some- thing if I went on long enough." "TITTLEBATS." It is elsewhere set down that upon one memorable evening, May 12, 1S27, when Joseph Smiggers, Esq., P.V.P.AI.P.C. (Perpetual \'ice-President, Member Pickwick Club) presiding, the following resolution was unanimously agreed to : "' That this Association has heard read, with feelings of unmingled satisfaction and unqualified approval, the paper communicated by Samuel Pickwick, Esq., General Chairman, Member Pickwick Club, entitled, ' Speculations on the Source of the Hampstead Ponds, with some Observations on the Theory of Tittlebats,' and that this Association does hereby return its warmest thanks to the said Samuel Pickwick, Esq., G.C.M.P.C, for the same." A careful perusal of the remainder of the " Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club," however, leads us to the conclusion that these speculations and observa- tions were continued no further, although it is very certain that Pickwick himself, accompanied by his friends Tupman, Snodgrass, and Winkle, started on a tour for that express purpose. A writer in the old " Magazine of Natural History," relates how he used to keep some in a deal tub, to watch their habits ; and he says that when they were put in for a day or two, they would swim about in a shoal, apparently exploring their new habitation. Then suddenly one would take possession of the tub, and would instantly commence an attack upon his companions ; and if any of them ventured to oppose his sway, a most furious battle ensued. They swam round and round with the greatest rapidity, biting and endeavouring to pierce each other Avith their lateral spines, which on these occasions were projected. A battle of this kind would last several minutes, and then at last one submitted. Imagina- tion could hardly conceive the vindictive fury of the conqueror, who unrelentlessly pursued his rival from one part of the tub to another, until he'himself was fairly exhausted by fatigue. " From this period an interesting change takes place," says the writer, " for the conqueror, who from being a speckled greenish-looking fish, assumes the most beautiful colours, the stomach and lower jaws becoming a deep crimson, and the back generally a fine green, and his whole appearance 107 If you don't run to a dog, you may do without it, if your nose is good enough. 'Ware wasps' nests ! Anyhow, enjoy yourself : you 've come out to do so. Have a shot at something I •' I say ! look here ! one at a time ! Blest if I shoot any of you if you 're not quiet ! " full of spirit and animation ; whilst at the same time a strange alteration also takes place in the defeated party : his gallant bearing forsakes him, his gay colours fade away, he becomes again speckled and ugly, and he hides his dis- grace among his peaceable companions. It is the male fish only which are so pugnacious." Anxious to add his item to Stickleback records, the Other Jones brought a pair home with him from Clapham Common, and bought upon the way one of those glass gypsy kettles, at sixpence, to keep them in. "What's this rubbish?" said the Other Jones's landlady, to whom the Other Jones owed a trifle of back rent : " wasting his money like that, when the widow and the fatherless are wanting bread ! " 108 THE OTHER JONES'S FRIEND'S COACH, "GREASED LIGHTNING." Tlie Other Jones's Friend's coach makes a good start. " Which way are you going ? " 109 110 Ill 112 il THE OTHER JONES'S FRIEND'S COACH. FEW persons living outside the charmed circle of Toddleton Terrace, Somers Town, can properly form any idea of the excitement that prevailed when the news first got about that the Other Jones had taken to the Road. " I always said how it would all end ! " cried Miss Priscilla Jones, the maiden aunt our Other used to entertain expectations from. She was taking tea at the time with Miss Clupp from No. 5, and the two Misses Spareribs from the house at the corner. " It 's all along of reading those pennv num- ber things when a boy : ' Claude Du Val/ and 'Sixteen-String Jack,' and ' Hurrah ! for the Road,'or' Jenny Diver, the Female High- wayman.' " "A female and a highwayman too— how horrid!" exclaimed the two Misses Spareribs. "And in jack boots and things, like a man," said Miss Priscilla Jones. " Good gracious !" cried the Misses Spareribs ; " and which way did the bold, forward creature sit upon the horse?"* * * * « But the Other Jones had not taken to the road in the sense these gentle ladies at first imagined. A friend of the Other Jones had determined to tool a coach three times a week from the White Horse, Piccadilly, to Straggleford in Surrey. It was not the most interesting route that might have been chosen, had not all the other interesting routes been long ago appropriated by other coaches ; but there was one thing about this particular coach — (it was to be christened " Greased Lightning," on account of the high speed intended to be kept up all along the road) — which lent it a peculiar charm. Other coaches are frequently driven by swells, but, as a rule, the guard is a person occupying a somewhat humbler station in life. On this coach the Other Jones was to be guard. The whole thing was to be turned out in tip-top style, and it was bound to be a big go. I'his the Other Jones and the Other Jones's friend had settled right off long ago. It was Rosherville who " parted " and was said to have bought the whole turn- out— coach and bloods — for a large sum of money, but had picked them up dirt cheap. Mr. Rosherville's nags were not all the same colour. There was, for instance, a black horse, very like one of Sir Henry Tufton's, only it had rather too many white-stockinged feet to exactly resemble his. There was a bay wheeler not at all unlike Mr. Coupland's, only it had rather too Roman a nose. There was a chestnut who, some years earlier, in the dusk, might have mixed up with those belonging to Mr A tliur Byass, and not at- tracted special attention. And, lastly, there was a sort of high stepping spirited spotted animal, who did not seem distinctly to under- stand whether he was to be a leader or a wheeler, and kept turning round to look. Rosherville scarcely handled tlie ribbons as well as the Duke of Beaufort, Lord Carington, the Marquis of Worcester, or Captain Wombwell ; but the stvle in which he caught his whip has generally been allowed to be little short' of masterly. It was wisest to shut your eyes if you were anywhere near him while lie did it, but from a safe distance it was a thing to see ! 113 THE OTHER JONES'S FRIEND'S COACH. Triumphal entry of the Other Jones's Friend's coach at Richmond. Another good waiter gone wrong ! The trumpet fell to the share of our Other Jones, who performed upon it with vigour whenever the occasion arose, and also at other times. But even if you did not care to hear a lot at a time of our Other's music, he was in himself a sight to see, and to feel better afterwards. The first day, owing to some misunderstanding in consequence of which the advertisements did not appear in the papers, very few persons assembled to see the start. One or two of the regular old Toddlers from St. James's Street stood still to see the fun ; and there were an errand-boy and a policeman, who presently grappled with the spotted charger that had helped to knock down a lamp-post, and now wanted to bite it. Some of Rosherville and the Other Jones's private friends, who had been accommodated with seats gratis, wanted to " chuck the whole thing up," and get down and walk. The next journey the route was changed: it being "'Appy 'Ampton" day, it was proposed that they should drive down to the races, and a good complement of travellers was procured (at a cheap fare), including loveliness in gay attire ; and everything would undoubtedly have gone as merrily as wedding bells, had not the Only Jones, who was by this time "regularly sick" of his trumpet, per- sisted in driving. It would not be fair to the reader to describe in detail the journey back. There came a time when everything went over, and loveliness was collected to- gether in a fainting state from among the scattered contents of half-emptied luncheon hampers. There was a fearful row, and Rosherville was taken home 114 THE OTHER JONES'S FRIEND'S COACH. Something awkward about the money for the Other Jones's Friend's coach and horses. and put into splinters ; and a messenger came from the Other Jones at dead of night asking the Editor of Judy to be bail for him. But the thing was not yet at an end. Rosherville was not a man easily beaten. When he got over his wounds, he was up again as fresh as paint, and had arranged a grand day, which was to be called the " opening day," and the others only considered as rehearsals. The Star and Garter was to be the goal on this occasion, and rank and fashion scrambled to the box seat, aftbrding a fleeting glimpse of lace trimmings and heavenly heels. It was a splendid day, and Rosherville was in enormous form, and tooled down like one o'clock. Indeed, there was no stopping him, and he never drew up until his coach and four were regularly mixed up with the com- pany assembled, and the vacillating leader had stamped on a waiter's back. There was an awful row, as you may suppose, and the police were called in ; and when the full particulars reached Judy's Office, which was when the police report appeared in the morning papers, it was suggested to the Other Jones that he must find all expenses himself beyond the salary allowed him, if he wished to continue as Judy's Special Sporting Commissioner. A little calculation was then made with regard to the cost, and some objections raised to the following items : Four columns of report of action relating to a hare in a postal pillar-box at Wumpsy, sent by telegraph. The telegram only arrived the day after the account bad been printed in a local journal, which might have been posted for a half- 115 THE OTHEE JONES'S FEIEND'S COACH. ^ > > V > \^j A little unpleasantness. A little more. penny (add cost of paper another halfpenny), and got to the Judy Office quite soon enough. Legal expenses relative to half a pack of hounds lost, stolen, or strayed, and one huntsman's horse. Cost of half pack and huntsman's horse (both at owner's own valuation). Damages of various kinds too numerous to mention whilst out with a gun. Total destruction of the said gun. Whilst we were in committee upon this business, somebody else rose up and objected strongly to further deeds of daring on the part of the Other Jones, as far as the coach and four were concerned. This was a " party" who had found the money—" the blood and the bloods," as he put it — and who said he'd like to see the colour of his money back again. Wholly ignoring the past, in which he had spoken of his friend Rosherville in glowing terms, the Other Jones now went round, declaring with much warmth that he would have nothing more to do with Rosherville, and nothing would tempt him to renew his connection with that impostor, now broken off for ever. A day or two later a letter reached the Judy Office, in which the Other Jones tendered his resignation of the post of Special Sporting Commissioner. This letter might have crossed one from the Office giving the Other Jones the sack, or it might have been written immediately upon the receipt of that letter. There is no saying for certain which was the true state of the case. The End of the Other Jones. ROSBACH WATER. Professor J. A. WANKLYN, ])I.B.C.S., Public Analyst for Bucks, &c., reports: " Rosbach Water is very pleasant to the taste, and an excellent table water. On submitting it to analysis I found it tobe re- markably pure. It is well adapted for general use, and may be taken in large quantities ; whlcl' cannot be said of ANY OTHER MINERAL WATER. I PREFER ROSBACH TO ALL OTHER MINERAL WATERS at present before the public." PURE. NATURAL. EFFERVESCING. BRISK and SPARKLING long after the Bottles have been opened. 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