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Full text of "A dissertation on radio commercials / by Kermit A. Lundell."

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A DI3SKPTATI0N OW RADIO COMMK-TIIALS 



by 



Kermit A. Lundeli 



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SUMMAHY 



Although the therae contained hereln is written In a 
humerous fashion and does cite the extreme cases, it is not 
without a raain point, There has been a f?rowing on the part of 
the publlc towards the annoying radio comT^erc:'.als which are 
clutterlng up the alr waves of our radio network, The radio 
comraercials are no longer just a mere publlc nulsance, they 
are actually threatening the economic strunture of the broad- 
casting as we know it today, There is growing resentraent on 
the part of the sponsor who invests thousands of dollars on a 
re^lly worthwhile program, only to have it followed by a two 
rainute program consisting of one of the well known"singing 
cornmercials" advertising anything from bab7's diapers to 
automobiles. 

Conse^uently, I have endeavored to oonvey to the 
reader my Impression as to what the radio cormnercial is capable 
of. I have cited the example of an avera.ge, hardworking citizen 
who comes home from the day's work hoping to spend a restful 
evening llstenlhg to his favorlte radio programs, but is com- 
pletely upset b;'- the annoying radio cornmercials which are con- 
cinually interrupting the evening 's enjoyment. In fact, they 
are of such a nature that they clin* to his mind and even 
after retirinR, Instead of counting sheep, he counts boxes of 
soap, bottles of hair tonic, and bars of soap. 



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gradually drifts Into the land of ecstacy as the slow, sweet 
atralns of Beethoven's flfth Symphony drifts out of the radio 
loudspeaker, and for a moinent •(TOd's In hls heaven and all' 3 
rlght wlth the world'. But, ålas, our friend does not remaln 
in thls relaxed state for lon.f^, for just as the music is reach- 
ing Its climax, a shrill voice cuts into the broadcast wlth 

•Zlotnick the furrler, Zlotnick the furrler, 12th and G. '. 

Frantically our friend reaches for the dial, but all he can 

hear are phrases like ' Ice cold fudgicle, Ice cold fud,Q;icl0 

, Squlrt gives you go , and Beeeeee Oooooooooool • 

This is by far too unbearable for our hero, so he 
slams off the radio and, muttering a low curse on all radio 
commerclals, he trudges wearily up to bed where, so he thlnks, 
he will at least escape the gorrors of those infernal, idiotic 
verses. 

No sooner has he fallen off into a state of uneasy 
slumber, when the hauntlng, clinp;ing verses start runnlng 
through hls semi-conscious mlndj alowly at first, but rapldly 
reaching a tempo of the wildest war dance. 'Rinso white, rinso 

white — -, don 't make a move , Super suds, super suds , Make 

ralne Rupert • s beer ,Pepsl cola hlte the spöt , Copy cat, 

copy cat '. Faster and faster they come 'Mourton's, Mour- 

ton's Rinso Copy--Beeee-21otnick, Zlotnick, 21ot ', untll 

flnally he wakea up wlth a blood curdling scream! ! . . . .As he 



f ' 



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stares bllndly Into the darlcness whlch Is fast engulfing him, 
he reallzea that here Is an obstacle which he is helpless to 
overcorne, a perll that is gradually wearlng him down, robblng 
him of the spirlt of llfe itself . 

Can we, the engineers of Aifierlca, allow thls terrlble 
contition to continue? Are we to stånd idly by whlle John W, 
and millions of his brother countrymen are driven mad by this 
fiendish praetice? No I! We must use every ounce of energy and 
genious that we possess to develop a de vice which, although it 
will allow the wholesome, worthwhile programs to come forth 
from our loudspeakers, will filter out all extraneous adver- 
tlsing mat ter whlch our modem sponsors are determlned to 
shout into the unwilllng ears of the publlc. 



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BIBLIOCIRAPHY 



The subject matter used. in the constructlon of thls 
theme is largely orlpflnal, althoun;h it is based on the passing 
remarks of the people I hava talked v;ith, and also on coraments 
in several(no specific ones) small written artides dealing 
with or related to the subject.