UPHILL WORK 85
minded one of certain pictures of Charlemagne. His manner and that of his wife was exceedingly sweet and gentle, and I was deeply touched by his cordial wish that I should go to Brazil, where he promised me success, and his and the Empress's patronage. There was much said about their second visit to the theatre, and it was amusing afterwards to hear a newsboy shouting, " Years yur morning pa-pi-er! all about Dan Peter and Mary and her son I"
From my first appearance my work had been difficult and uphill. Without any training, I was gaining experience: not hidden in a small part under the shadow of some great " star," but in the bright light of leading characters, filled with memories of Charlotte Cushman, Julia Dean, and Fanny Kemble, and with the critical eye of the public full upon me. Still I toiled on, hoped on, prayed on, and felt the work slowly growing in ease and finish. But it was painfully disheartening to find myself stranded for lack of technical knowledge whenever the usual enthusiasm in the great scenes refused through weariness or discouragement to glow. Indeed, I would not wish "my dearest enemy" to pass through the uncertainties and despondencies of those early years.