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Full text of "Laughing Torso"

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The old Jew who had the stall said to me, " Vill you
'ave some silk stockings—very cheap?" I said,
" Oh no, that would be extravagant." And he said,
" Oh no, it vill be an investment," and I was so
flattered that he mistook me for a lady of loose
morals that I took Redmond out and we spent all
the money.
One of the first night clubs was started in London
at this time, 1913. It was started by Madame
Strindberg, the second wife of the Swedish play-
wright. She had been a famous actress and beauty
in Vienna when she was young. I had been taken
to the Cafe Royal some weeks before by Henri
where we would drink creme-de-menthe frappee.
I had met Lilian Shelley, a beautiful girl who was
on the stage. She sang at the " Cave of the Golden
Calf," the name of the night club. It was decorated
by Wyndham Lewis and several other artists, and
Epstein had done sculptures for two of the columns.
It was a really gay and cheerful place. Madame
Strindberg brought a flock of Galician gipsies over
and they played accordions and sang and danced.
There were beautiful ladies and young Guardsmen
and artists, and everyone had a good time. Madame
Strindberg had a monkey and every evening at
10.30 Lilian Shelley, who sang " Popsy Wopsy"
and " You made me love you " every night at the
cabaret, was sent to the Savoy Hotel to feed it.
Madame Strindberg gave dinner parties there. She
was very fond of inviting people who disliked each
other. These parties frequently ended in a free fight,
I wore in the daytime a clergyman's hat, a check
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