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**OPERTY Of 

Uiiversifpof 



18'7 



AK T E S SCIENTIA V BRIT At 




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THE LOEB CLASSICAL LIBRARY 

EDITED BY 
T. B. PAGE, M.A^ AND W. H. D. BOUSE, LlTT.D. 



PETRONIUS 
SENECA 

APOCOLOCVNTO8I8 



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fj 



PETEONITJS^ 



WITH AN ENGLISH TRANSLATION BY 

MICHAEL HBSELTINE 



SENECA 

APOCOLOCYNTOSIS 

WITH AN ENGLISH TRANSLATION BY 

W. H. D. ROUSE, M. A. LITT. D. 




LONDON: WILLIAM HEINEMANN 
NEW YORK: THE MACMILLAN CO. 

MCMXIH 



£ 



97 



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1 



CONTENTS 




Petronius 




Introduction 


Page vii 


Satyricon 


1 


Fragments 


325 


Poems 


339 


Seneca 




Apocolocyntosis 


365 



289420 

Digitized by VjOOQIC 



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INTRODUCTION 

The author of the Satyricon is identified by the large 
majority of scholars with Gaius Petronius, the cour- 
tier of Nero. There is a long tradition in support of 
the identification, and the probability that it is cor- 
rect appears especially strong in the light of Tacitus's 
account of the character and death of Gaius Petronius 
in the eighteenth and nineteenth chapters of the six- 
teenth book of the Annals. Mr. John Jackson has 
translated the passage as follows : 

" Petronius deserves a word in retrospect. He was 
a man who passed his days in sleep, his nights in the 
ordinary duties and recreations of life: others had 
achieved greatness by the sweat of their brows — 
Petronius idled into fame. Unlike most who walk 
the road to ruin, he was never regarded as either 
debauchee or wastrel, but rather as the finished artist 
in extravagance. In both word and action, he dis- 
played a freedom and a sort of self-abandonment 
which were welcomed as the indiscretions of an un- 
sophisticated nature. Yet, in his proconsulship of 
Bithynia, and later as consul elect, he showed himself 
an energetic and capable administrator. Then came 
the revulsion : his genuine or affected vices won him 
admittance into the narrow circle of Nero's intimates, 
and he became the Arbiter of Elegance, whose sanc- 
tion alone divested pleasure of vulgarity and luxury of 
grossness. 

1 He is called Titus Petronius by Plutarch (De Adulatore et 
Amico, 27). 

vii 



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INTRODUCTION 

" His success aroused the jealousy of Tigellinus 
against a possible rival — a professor of voluptuousness 
better equipped than himself. Playing on the emperor' s 
lust for cruelty, to which all other lusts were secon- 
dary, he suborned a slave to turn informer, charged 
Petronius with his friendship for Scaevinus, deprived 
him of the opportunity of defence, and threw most of 
his household into prison. 

" At that time, it happened, the court had migrated 
to Campania; and Petronius had reached Cumae, 
when his detention was ordered. He disdained to 
await the lingering issue of hopes and fears : still, he 
would not take a brusque farewell of life. An incision 
was made in his veins : they were bound up under 
his directions, and opened again, while he conversed 
with his friends — not on the gravest of themes, nor 
in the key of the dying hero. He listened to no dis- 
quisitions on the immortality of the soul or the dogmas 
of philosophy, but to frivolous song and playful verses. 
Some of his slaves tasted of his bounty, others of the 
whip. He sat down to dinner, and then drowsed a 
little; so that death, if compulsory, should at least be 
natural. Even in his will, he broke through the 
routine of suicide, and flattered neither Nero nor 
Tigellinus nor any other of the mighty : instead, he 
described the emperor's enormities ; added a list of 
his catamites, his women, and his innovations in las- 
civiousness ; then sealed the document, sent it to 
Nero, and broke his signet-ring to prevent it from 
being used to endanger others." 

The reflection arises at once that, given the Satyri- 

con, this kind of book postulates this kind of author. 

The loose tongue, the levity, and the love of style are 

common to both. If books betray their writers' 

viii 



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INTRODUCTION 

characteristics, Gaius Petronius, as seen by Tacitus, 
had the imagination and experience needed to depict 
the adventures of Encolpius. 

There is a little evidence, still based on the primary 
assumption, more exact in its bearing. The Satyricon 
contains a detailed criticism of and a poem directed 
against the style of a writer who must be Lucan. Gaius 
Petronius was not the man to pass over the poet, 
epigrammatist, and courtier, in whose epoch and circle 
he himself shone. He may have deplored Lucan's 
poetic influence, but he could not neglect it, for Lucan 
was essentially the singer of his own day. No age was 
so favourable as that of Nero for the introduction into 
a supremely scandalous tale of a reasoned and appreci- 
ative review of the Pharsalia, the outstanding poem 
of the time. 

The criticism of the schools of rhetoric in their 
effect upon education and language, and the general 
style of the book in reflective and descriptive passages, 
point more vaguely to a similar date of composition. 



Gaius Petronius found in his work a form which 
allowed complete expression to the many sides of his 
active and uncontrolled intellect. Its loose construc- 
tion is matched by its indifference to any but stylistic 
reforms ; it draws no moral ; it is solely and properly 
occupied in presenting an aspect of things seen by a 
loiterer at one particular corner of the world. What 
we possess of it is a fragment, or rather a series of 
excerpts from the fifteenth and sixteenth books, we 
know not how representative of the original whole. 



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INTRODUCTION 

Of this the best-known portion, the description of 
Trimalchio's dinner, was hidden from the modern 
world until the middle of the seventeenth century, 
and was first printed in 1 664. 1 

It is as difficult to grasp any structural outline in 
the Satyricon as it is in Tristram Shandy. Both alter- 
nate with flashing rapidity between exhibitions of 
pedantry, attacks on pedants, and indecency, in which 
Sterne is the more successful because he is the less 
obvious. 

But Petronius, so far as his plan was not entirely 
original, was following as model Varro's Menippean 
satires, and had before him the libel of Seneca on 
Claudius, the Apocolocyntosis. The traditional title of 
his work, Satyricon, is derived from the word Satura, 
a medley, and means that he was free to pass at will 
from subject to subject, and from prose to verse and 
back : it is his achievement that the threads of his 
story, broken as we hold them, yet show something 
of the colour and variety of life itself. We call his 
book a novel, and so pay him a compliment which he 
alone of Roman writers has earned. 

Petronius's novel shares with life the quality 
of moving ceaselessly without knowing why. It 
differs from most existences in being very seldom 
dull. An anonymous writer of the eighteenth cen- 
tury, making Observations on the Greek and Roman 
Classics in a Series of Letters to a Young Nobleman, 2 
is of the opinion that : " You will in no Writer, my 
dear Lord, meet with so much true delicacy of thought, 
in none with purer language/' This judgment is 

i See section on the text, codex Traguriensis. 
2 Published in London, 1753. 



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INTRODUCTION 

meant for the age of Smollett and Fielding ; but there 
is no question of the justice of the later remark: 
" You will be charmed with the ease, and you will be 
surprised with the variety of his characters." 

These characters are one and all the product of 
a period in history when the primary aim of the 
ripest civilization in the world was money-making; 
It was this aim which drew Trimalchio from his un- 
known birthplace in Asia Minor to the glitter and 
luxury and unnatural passion of a South Italian town. 
He differs from the minor personages who crowd his 
dining-room only in the enormous success with which 
he has plied the arts of prostitution, seduction, flattery 
and fraud. The persons in whom the action of the 
novel centres, Encolpius,the mouthpiece of the author, 
Ascyltos, and Giton, are there by the kindness of 
Agamemnon, a parasite teacher of the rhetoric which 
ate swiftly into the heart of Latin language and 
thought. Giton lives by his charms, Ascyltos is 
hardly more than a foil to Encolpius, a quarrelsome 
and lecherous butt. 

That part of the novel which deals with Trimal- 
chio's dinner introduces a crowd of characters, and 
gives the most vivid picture extant in classical litera- 
ture of the life of the small town. The pulsating 
energy of greed is felt in it everywhere. Men become 
millionaires with American rapidity, and enjoy that 
condition as hazardously in Cumae as in Wall Street. 
The shoulders of one who wallows in Trimalchio' s 
cushions are still sore with carrying firewood for sale ; 
another, perhaps the first undertaker who made a 
fortune out of extravagant funerals, a gourmet and 
spendthrift, sits there composing lies to baffle his 
hungry creditors. Trimalchio towers above them by 



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INTRODUCTION 

reason of his more stable fortunes and his colossal 
impudence. He can afford to delegate the conduct 
of his business, to grow a little negligent, even — for 
his accounts are six months in arrear — to care for the 
life of the spirit. 

He believes, of course, in astrology; he sings 
excerpts out of tune from the last musical play, and 
takes phrases from the lips of the comic star whom 
Nero delights to honour. He has two 1 libraries, one 
of Greek, one of Latin books, and mythology courses 
through his brain in incorrigible confusion. 

His fellow townsmen and guests, whom he insults, 
do not aspire to these heights. Dama, Seleucus, and 
Phileros are rich merely in the common coin of every- 
day talk, in the proverbial wisdom which seems to 
gather strength and brightness from being constantly 
exchanged. "A hot drink is as good as an over- 
coat" — "Flies have their virtues, we are nothing but 
bubbles" — "An old love pinches like a crab" — It 
is easy when everything goes fair and square." In 
these phrases and their like Latin literature speaks 
to us for once in the tones we know in England 
through Justice Shallow or Joseph Poorgrass. Nearly 
all warm themselves with this fatuous talk of riches 
and drink and deaths, but one man, Ganymede, a 
shrewd Asiatic immigrant like Trimalchio himself, 
blows cold on their sentimentality with his searching 
talk of bread-prices in Cumae, rising pitilessly through 
drought and the operation of a ring of bakers in 
league with officials. He tells us in brilliant phrases 
of the starving poor, of the decay of religion, of lost 
pride in using good flour. Then Echion, an old- 

*The MS. says three, and may be right; he is drunk 
when he boasts of them. 

xii 



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INTRODUCTION 

clothes dealer, overwhelms him with a flood of subur- 
ban chatter about games, and children, and chickens, 
and the material blessings of education. But Gany- 
mede is the sole character in Petronius's novel who 
brings to light the reverse side of Trimalchio' s splen- 
dour. A system of local government which showers 
honours upon vulgarity, and allows Trimalchio his 
bath, his improved sanitation, his host of servants, his 
house with so many doors that no guest may go in and 
out by the same one, is invariably true to type in 
leaving poor men to die in the streets. The very 
existence of poverty becomes dim for Trimalchio, half 
unreal, so that he can jest at Agamemnon for taking 
as the theme of a set speech the eternal quarrel of 
rich and poor. 

Between rich and poor in Cumae the one link is 
commerce in vice. Trimalchio finds Fortunata the 
chorus-girl standing for sale in the open market, and 
calls her up to be the partner of his sterile and un- 
meaning prodigality. She has learnt all the painful 
lessons of the slums ; she will not grace Trimalchio' s 
table until dinner is over, and she has seen the plate 
safely collected from his guests, and the broken meats 
apportioned to his slaves ; she knows the sting of 
jealousy, and the solace of intoxication or tears ; nor- 
mally she rules him, as Petruchio ruled Katharine, with 
loud assertion and tempest of words. The only other 
woman present at the dinner, Scintilla, the wife of 
Trimalchio's friend Habinnas, a monumental mason, 
is more drunken and unseemly, and leaves behind her 
a less sharp taste of character. 

Trimalchio's dinner breaks up with a false alarm of 
fire, and the infamous heroes of the story give Aga- 
memnon the slip, Trimalchio vanishes, and with his loss 

xiii 



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INTRODUCTION 

the story becomes fragmentary once more, and declines 
in interest almost as much as in decency. Its attraction 
lies in the verse and criticism put into the mouth of 
Eumolpus, a debased poet whom Encolpius meets in 
a picture gallery. With him the adventures of the 
trio continue. There is a lodging-house brawl, a 
voyage where they find themselves in the hands of 
old enemies, the ship's captain Lichas, whose wife 
Hedyle they appear to have led astray, and Try- 
phaena, a peripatetic courtesan who takes the Medi- 
terranean coast for her province, and has some unex- 
plained claim on Giton's affections. They settle these 
disputes only to be involved in a shipwreck and cast 
ashore at Croton, where they grow fat on their pre- 
tension to be men of fortune, and disappear from 
sight, Encolpius after a disgraceful series of vain 
encounters with a woman named Circe, and Eumolpus 
after a scene where he bequeaths his body to be eaten 
by his heirs. 

Coherence almost fails long before the end: the 
episode in which Encolpius kills a goose, the sacred 
bird of Priapus, gives a hint, but no more, that the 
wrath of Priapus was the thread on which the whole 
Satyricon was strung. But the life of the later portions 
of the novel lies in the critical,and poetical fragments 
scattered through it. These show Petronius at his 
best as a lord of language, a great critic, an intelligent 
enthusiast for the traditions of classical poetry and 
oratory. The love of style which was stronger in him 
even than his interest in manners doubly enriches his 
work. It brings ready to his pen the proverbs with I 
their misleading hints of modernity, 1 the debased ' 
syntax and abuse of gender, which fell from common 
1 See especially c. 41 to 46, 57 to 59. 
xiv 



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INTRODUCTION 

lips daily, but is reproduced here alone in its fullness ; l 
and side by side with these mirrored vulgarisms the 
gravity of the attack on professional rhetoric with 
which the novel begins, and the weight of the 
teacher's defence, that the parent will have education 
set to a tune of his own calling ; Eumolpus's brilliant 
exposition of the supremacy of the poet's task over 
that of the rhetorician or historian ; the curious, violent, 
epic fragment by which he upholds his doctrine. 

Petronius employed a pause in literary invention 
and production in assimilating and expressing a view 
upon, the makers 2 of poems, prose, pictures, philoso- 
phies, and statues, who preceded him, and thereby 
deepened his interpretation of contemporary life. His 
cynicism, his continual backward look at the splen- 
dours and severities of earlier art and other morals, 
are the inevitable outcome of this self-education. 

By far the most genuine and pathetic expressions 
of his weariness are the poems which one is glad to be 
able to attribute to him. The best of them speak of 
quiet country and seaside, of love deeper than desire 
and founded on the durable grace of mind as well as 
the loveliness of the flesh, of simplicity and escape 
from Court. 8 



1 See e.g. the notes of Buecheler or Friedlaender on the verbs 
apoculamus (c. 62), duxissem (c. 57), plovebat (c. 44), percolo- 
pabant (c. 44), the nouns agaga (c. 69), babaecalis (c. 37), 
bacalusias (c. 41), barcalae (c. 67), burdubasta (c. 45), gingi- 
lipho (c. 73), and such expressions as caelus hie (c. 39), medus 
Fatus (c. 42), olim oliorum (c. 43), nummorum nummos (c. 37), 
and the Graecisms saplutus and topanta (c. 37). 

3 e.g. c. 1 to 5, 55, 83, 88, 118. 

8 See e.g. Poems 2, 8, 11, 13-15, an< l 22 "» of the love-poems, 
25 and 26, but above all 16 and 27, which show (if they can 
be by him) a side of Petronius entirely hidden in the Satyricon. 
b xv 



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INTRODUCTION 

He knew the antidote to the fevered life which 
burnt him up. His book is befouled with obscenity, 
and, like obscenity itself, is ceasing by degrees to be 
part of a gentleman's education. But he will always 
be read as a critic ; he tells admirable stories of were- 
wolves and faithless widows; 1 he is one of the very 
few novelists who can distil common talk to their pur- 
pose without destroying its flavour. The translator 
dulls his brilliance, and must leave whole pages in the 
decent obscurity of Latin : he is fortunate if he adds 
a few to those who know something of Petronius 
beyond his name and the worst of his reputation. 

The thanks of the editors and the translator are 
due to Messrs. Weidmann of Berftn, who have gene- 
rously placed at their disposal a copyright text of the 
Satyricon, the epoch-making work of the late Pro- 
fessor Buecheler. 

Mr. H. E. Butler, Professor of Latin in the Uni- 
versity of London, is responsible for the selection of 
critical notes from Buecheler' s editio maior, the Intro- 
duction to and text of the poems, and the Biblio- 
graphy : the translator is indebted to him and to the 
editors for invaluable assistance in attempting to meet 
the difficulties which a rendering of Petronius con- 
tinues to present. 

Michael Heseltine. 



1 In c.6i through Niceros, in c. 63 through Trimalchio, and 
in c. 1 1 1 through Eumolpus (the famous and cosmopolitan 
tale of the Widow of Ephesus). 
xvi 



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THE TEXT OF PETRONIUS 

The sources for the text of Petronius fall into three 
groups. 

(1) The codex I^eidensis (Q6l) written by Scaliger 
and the editions of the de Tournes (Tornaesius) 1575 
and Pithou (Pithoeus) 1577. These are our authorities 
for the fuller collection of excerpts. This source is 
known as L. 

(2) A number of MSS. of which codex Bernensis 
(357) of the 10th century is typical. This group is 
our authority for the abridged collection of excerpts 
and is known collectively as O. 

(3) The codex Traguriensis (Paris 7989) of the 1 5th 
century, which, save for a very few brief excerpts in 
L and O, is our sole authority for the cena TrimalcM- 
onis. This MS. was discovered in 1 650 at Trau in 
Dalmatia. It is known as H. 

The text was not put on a scientific basis till the 
appearance of Buecheler's Editio maior in 1862. 

In the Apparatus Criticus the source of the most 
important corrections is stated, and followed by the 
reading given by Buecheler in his editio minor as the 
probable reading of the archetype or as the oldest 
reading available. The sources from which the differ- 
ent portions of the text are derived are indicated by 
the letters in the margin of the text. 



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THE TEXT OF PETRONIUS 

SIGLA 

L = codex Scaligeranus, and editions of Tornaesius 
and Pithoeus. 

O = MSS. containing abridged excerpts of which cod. 
Bernensis may be regarded as typical. 

H = codex Traguriensis, our sole source for the 
Cena Trimalckionis. 

Note. A great number of minor corrections and 
alternative readings are, owing to the demands of 
space, omitted from the critical notes. 



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BIBLIOGRAPHY 

Most important Editions : I. Previous to Discovery 

of Cena Trimalckionis. 

1482 Editio Princeps. 

Scriptores Panegyrici Latini, containing (l) 
Pliny the younger* s Panegyricus. (2) Ten 
other panegyrics by various authors on diverse 
emperors, (s) The Agricola of Tacitus. (4) 
Petronii arbitri satyrici fragmenta : quae extant 
Printed by Antonius Zarotus at Milan ; the 
date is approximate. 

1 565 The edition of Johannes Sambucus, who made 
use of an old MS. of his own, and added a 
certain amount not previously printed. Ant- 
werp (Chr. Plantin). 

1575 The edition of Jean de Tournes (Tornaesius) 
based (among other sources) on codex Cuiaci- 
anus, afterwards used by Scaliger. Lyons 
(j. Tornaesius). 

1577 The edition of P. Pithou (Pithoeus) based on 
three MSS. now lost. Paris (M. Patissonius). 

1583 The edition of Ian. Dousa with notes. Leyden 
(io. Paetsius). 

1610 The edition of Melchior Goldastus with notes. 
Frankfort (io. Bringerforl.Th. Schoenwetter). 

II. Subsequent to Discovery of Cena Trimalckionis. 

i. Editions of Cena. 
1664 Petronii Fragmentum Traguriense. Padua (P. 

Frambotti). 
1 664 ANEKAOTON ex Petronii Satirico, with intro- 
duction and notes by Jo. Caius Telebomenus 
(Jacobus Mentelius). Paris (E. Martin). 

xix 



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BIBLIOGRAPHY 

1665 Petronii Fragmentum with notes by Io. Scheffer. 

Upsala (Henr. Curio). 

1666 Petronii Fragmentum ed. Th. Reinesius. Leipzig 

(Chr. Michael for Sigism. Coerner). 

ii. Complete Editions. 
1669 The edition of M. Hadrianides. Amsterdam 

(J. Blaeu). 
1 709 The edition of P. Burmann with copious notes. 

Utrecht (Guil. van de Water). This is the 

last complete commentary. 
1862 The editio maior of F. Buecheler. Berlin 

(Weidmann). 
1 862 The editio minor of the same : 4th edition on 

which this text is based 1904: 5th edition 

revised by W. Heraeus 191 1. 

iii. Modern Editions of Cena. 

1891 Cena Trimalchionis with German notes and trans- 
lations by L. Friedlaender. Leipzig (Hirzel). 
Second edition 1906. 

1902 Cena Trimalchionis with English notes by W. E. 
Waters. Boston (B. H. Sanborn). 

1905 Cena Trimalchionis with English notes and trans- 
lation by W. D. Lowe. Cambridge (Deighton 
Bell). 

1905 Cena Trimalchionis with English notes and trans- 
lation by M. J. Ryan. London (Walter Scott 
Publishing Co.). 

iv. The Bellum Civile. 
1911 The Bellum Civile of Petronius, with English 
notes and translation by Florence T. Baldwin. 
New York (Columbia University Press). 



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BIBLIOGRAPHY 



ENGLISH TRANSLATIONS 

l694 The Satyr of Petronius by Mr. Burnaby. Lon- 
don (S. Briscoe). 

1 736 The Works of Petronius by Mr. Addison. Lon- 
don (J. Watts). 

1854 and 1880 Petronius by W. K. Kelly. London 
(Bohn and G. Bell & Sons). 

1898 Trimalchio's Dinner. H. T. Peck. New York 
(Dodd, Mead and Co.). 

The Poems attributed to Petronius. 
Poetae Latini Minores, vol. 4. Baehrens 

(Teubner Series). 
Editio minor of Buecheler. 

The MSS. of Petronius. 
1 863 The MSS. of the Satyricon of Petronius Arbiter 
described and collated by Charles Beck. 
Cambridge MSS. (Riverside Press). 
Editio makor of Buecheler. 

Criticisms and Appreciations op Petronius. 

1 856 The Age of Petronius by Charles Beck. Cam- 
bridge, Mass. (Metcalf ). 

1875 L'Opposition sous les Cesars by Gaston Boissier 
(Un Roman de moeurs sous Neron). Paris 
(Hachette). 

1892 Etude sur Petrone by A. Collignon. Paris 
(Hachette). 

1898 Studies in Frankness by C. Whibley (p. 27). 
London (Heinemann). 



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BIBLIOGRAPHY 

1902 Petrone by E. Thomas. Paris (Fontemoing). 

1 903 Roman Society from Nero to M. Aurelius by 

S. Dill (pp. 120-137). London (Macmillan). 
1905 Life and Principate of the Emperor Nero by 
B. Henderson (pp. 291 -4-). London (Me- 
thuen). 

1909 Post- Augustan Poetry by H. E. Butler (p. 125). 

Oxford (Clarendon Press). 

Bibliography. 

1910 The Bibliography of Petronius by S. Gaselee. 

London (East and Blades). 1 

Forged Fragments. 

In 1 692, fragments, forged by a Frenchman named 
Nodot, were printed in the edition published by 
Leers, at Rotterdam. 

In 1 800 another forgery appeared. The author was 
a Spaniard named Joseph Marchena. Fragmen{um 
Petronii ex bibl. Sti. Gall, gallice vertit ac notis perpetuis 
illustravit Lallemandus, S. Tkeohgiae Doctor, 1800. 



1 The present bibliography is based entirely on this erudite 
bibliographical work. 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 



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TITI PETRONI ARBITRI 
SATYRICON 

1 LO " Num alio genere furiarum declamatores inquietan- 
tur, qui clamant: 'haec vulnera pro libertate publica 
excepi ; hunc oculum pro vobis impendi : date mihi <Ju- 
cem, qui me ducat ad liberos meos, nam succisi poplites 
membra non sustinent' ? Haec ipsa tolerabilia essent, 
si ad eloquentiam ituris viam facerent. Nunc et rerum 
tumore et senjentiarum vanissimo strepitu hoc tantum 
proficiunt, utfcum^ih fonim venerint, putent se in alium 
orbem terrarum delatos. Et'ideo ego adulescentulos 
existimo in scholis stultissimos fieri, quia nihil ex his, 
quae in usu habemus, aut audiunt aut vident, sed pira- 
tas cum catenis in litore stantes, sed tyrannos edicta scri- 
bentes, quibus imperent filiis ut patrum suorum capita 
praecidant, sed responsa in pestilentiam data, ut vir- 
gines tres aut plures immolentur, sed mellitos verbo- 
rum globulos et omnia dicta factaque quasi papavere et 
sesamo sparsa./ Qui inter haec nutriuntur, non magis 
2 sapere possunt, quam bene olere, qui in culina habi- 
tant. Pace vestra liceat dixisse, primi omnium elo- 
quentiam perdidistis. Levibus enim atque inanibus 
soms ludibria quaedam excitando effecistis, ut corpus 
orationis enervaretur et caderet. Nondum iuvenes 
declamationibus continebantur, cum Sophocles aut 
Euripides invenerunt verba quibus deberent loqui. 
Nondum umbraticus doctor ingenia deleverat, cum 
Pindarus novemque lyrici Homericis versibus canere 
2 



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THE SATYRICON OF 
TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

Are our rhetoricians tormented by a new tribe of 1 
Furies when they cry: 'These scars I earned in the 
struggle for popular rights ; I sacrificed this eye for 
you : where is a guiding hand to lead me to my children ? 
My knees are hamstrung, and cannot support my 
body'? Though indeed even these speeches might 
be endured if they smoothed the path of aspirants to 
oratory. But as it is, the sole result of this bombastic 
matter and these loud empty phrases is that a pupil 
who steps into a court thinks that he has been 
carried into another world. I believe that college 
makes complete fools of our young men, because 
they see and hear nothing of ordinary life there. It ■ 
is pirates standing in chains on the beach, tyrants pen 
in hand ordering sons to cut off their fathers' heads, 
oracles in time of pestilence demanding the blood of 
three virgins or more, honey-balls of phrases, every 
word and act besprinkled with poppy-seed and sesame. 2 
People who are fed on this diet can no more be sensible 
than people who live in the kitchen can be savoury. With 
your permission I must tell you the truth, that you 
teachers more than anyone have been the ruin of true 
eloquence. Your tripping, empty tones stimulate certain 
absurd effects into being, with the result that the sub- 
stance of your speech languishes and diesT/In the age 
when Sophocles or Euripides found the inevitable word 
for their verse, young men were not yet being confined \ 
to set speeches. When Pindar and the nine lyric poets 
were too modest to use Homer's lines, no cloistered 
b2 3 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
timuerunt. Et ne poetas [quidem] ad testimonium 
citem, certe neque Platona neque Demosthenen ad 
hoc genus exercitationis accessisse video. Grandis et 
ut ita dicam pudica oratio non est maculosa nee tur- 
gida, sed naturali pulchritudine exsurgit. Nuper ven- 
tosa istaec et enormis loquacitas Athenas ex Asia 
commigravit animosque iuvenum ad magna surgentes 
veluti pestilenti quodam sidere afflavit, semelque 
corrupta regula eloquentia 1 stetit et obmutuit. Ad 
summam, quis postea 2 Thucydidis, quis Hyperidis ad 
famam processit? Ac ne carmen quidem sani coloris 
enituit, sed omnia quasi eodem cibo pasta non potu- 
erunt usque ad senectutem canescere. Pictura quoque 
non alium exitum fecit, postquam Aegyptiorum audacia 
tarn magnae artis compendiariam invenit." 

Non est passus Agamemnon me diutius declamare in 
porticu, quam ipse in schola sudaverat, sed Adule- 
scens" inquit "quoniam sennonem habes non publici 
saporis et, quod rarissimum est, amas bonam mentem, 
non fraudabo te arte secreta. Nihil 3 nimirum in his ex- 
ercitationibusdoctores peccant, qui necesse habent cum 
insanientibus furere. Nam nisi dixerint quae adulescen- 
tuli probent, ut ait Cicero, soli in scholis relinquentur.' 
Sicut [ficti] 4 adulatores cum cenas divitum captant, 
nihil prius meditantur quam id quod putant gratissi- 

1 regula eloquentia Haasius ; eloquentiae regula. 
9 ad summam quis postea Haasius: qui postea ad sum- 
mam. 
•nihil added by Buecheler. 4 ficti bracketed by Buecheler. 

4 



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SATYRICON 

pedant had yet ruined young men's brains. I need 
not go to the poets for evidence. I certainly do not 
find that Plato or Demosthenes took any course of 
training of this kind. Great style, which, if I may say 
so, is also modest style, is never blotchy and bloated. 
It rises supreme by virtue of its natural beauty. Your 
flatulent and formless flow of words is a modern im- 
migrant from Asia to Athens. Its breath fell upon 
the mind of ambitious youth like the influence of a 
baleful planet, and when the old tradition was once 
broken, eloquence halted and grew dumb. In a word, 
who after this came to equal the splendour of Thucy- 
dides or Hyperides ? Even poetry did not glow with 
the colour of health, but the whole of art, nourished 
on one universal diet, lacked the vigour to reach the 
grey hairs of old age. The decadence in painting was 
the same, as soon as Egyptian charlatans had found a 
short cut to this high calling/ ' 

Agamemnon 1 would not allow me to stand declaim- S 
ing out in the colonnade longer than he had spent 
sweating inside the school. Your talk has an uncommon 
flavour, young man/ ' he said, and what is most unusual, 
you appreciate good sense. I will not therefore deceive 
you by making a mystery of my art. The fact is that the 
teachers are not to blame for these exhibitions. They 
are in a madhouse, and they must gibber. Unless 
they speak to the taste of their young masters they 
will be left alone in the colleges, as Cicero remarks. 2 r 
Like the toadies [of Comedy] cadging after the rich 
man s dinners, they think first about what is calculated 

1 A teacher of rhetoric. Encolpius and Ascyltus were invited 
to Trimalchio's dinner as Agamemnon's pupils. 
* See Pro Caelio y 17, 41. 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

mum auditoribus fore : nee enim aliter impetrabunt 
quod petunt,nisi quasdam insidias auribus fecerint : sic 
eloquentiae magister, nisi tanquam piscator earn impo- 
suerit hamis escam, quam scierit appetituros esse pisci- 

4 culos, sine spe praedae morabitur in scopulo. Quid ergo 
est ? Parentes obiurgatione digni sunt, qui noluntliberos 
suos severa lege proficere. Primum enim sic ut omnia, 
spes quoque suas ambitioni donant. Deinde cum ad 
vota properant, cruda adhuc studia in forum pellunt 
et eloquentiam, qua nihil esse maius confitentur, 
pueris induunt adhuc nascentibus. Quod si paterentur 
laborum gradus fieri, ut studiosi iuvenes lectione 
severa irrigarentur, ut sapientiae praeceptis animos 
componerent, ut verba atroci stilo effoderent, ut quod 
vellent imitari diu audirent, ut persuaderent 1 sibi nihil 
esse magnificum, quod pueris placeret : iam ilia grandis 
oratio haberet maiestatis suae pondus. Nunc pueri in 
scholis ludunt, iuvenes ridentur in foro, et quod utro- 

^'t que, turpius est, quod quisque perperam didicit, in 
senectute confiteri non vult. Sed ne me putes impro- 
basse schedium Lucilianae humilitatis, quod sentio, et 
ipse carmine effingam : ^ 

5 Artis severae si quis ambit* efFectus 
mentemque magnis applicat, prius mores 
frugalitatis lege poliat exacta. 

Nee curet alto regiam trucem vultu 
cliensve cenas impotentium captet, 
nee perditis addictus obruat vino 

1 ut persuaderent added by Buecheler. m 

2 ambit margin ed. of Tornaesius : amat. 



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SATYRICON 

to please their audience. They will never gain their I 
object unless they lay traps for the ear. A master of 
oratory is like a fisherman ; he must put the particu- • 
lar bait on his hook which he knows will tempt the , 
little fish, or he may sit waiting on his rock with no 
hope of a catch. Then what is to be done ? It is the 4 
parents who should be attacked for refusing to allow 
their children to profit by stern discipline. To begin with 
they consecrate even their young hopefuls, like every- 
thing else, to ambition. Then if they are in a hurry" 
for the fulfilment of their vows, they drive the unripe 
schoolboy into the law courts, and thrust eloquence, 
the noblest of callings, upon children who are still 
struggling into the world. If they would allow work 
to go on step by step, so that bookish boys were I 
steeped in diligent reading, their minds formed by [> 
wise sayings, their pens relentless in tracking down [ 
the right word, their ears giving a long hearing to 
pieces they wished to imitate, and if they would con- 
vince themselves that what took a boy* s fancy was never 
fine ; then the grand old style of oratory would have its 
full force and splendour. As it is, the boy wastes his 
time at school, and the young man is a laughing-stock in 
the courts. Worse than that, they will not admit when 
they are old the errors they have once imbibed at school. 
But pray do not think that I impugn Lucilius's rhyme 1 
about modesty. I will myself put my own views in a poem : 

If any man seeks for success in stern art and applies 5 
his mind to great tasks, let him first perfect his cha- 
racter by the rigid law of frugality. Nor must he 
care for the lofty frown of the tyrant's palace, or 
scheme for suppers with prodigals like a client, or 
drown the fires of his wit with wine in the company 
1 The allusion is not known. 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

mentis calorem, neve plausor in scaenam 1 
sedeat redemptus histrionis ad rictus.* 
Sed sive armigerae rident Tritonidis arces, 
seu Lacedaemonio tellus habitata colono 
Sirenumve domus, det primos versibus annos 
Maeoniumque bibat felici pectore fontem. 
Mox et Socratico plenus grege mittat habenas 
liber et ingentis quatiat Demosthenis anna. 
Hinc Romana manus circumfmat et modo Graio 
exonerata sono mutet suffusa saporem. 
Interdum subducta foro det pagina cursum 
et f urtiva 8 sonet celeri distincta meatu ; 
dein 4 epulas et bella truci memorata canore 
grandiaque indomiti Ciceronis verba minetur. kmuJt 
His animum succinge bonis : sic flumine largo 
plenus Pierio defundes pectore verba/' 
, } 6 Dum hunc diligentius audio, non notavi mihi Ascylti 
fugam. Et dum in hoc dictorum aestu in hortis incedo, 



s 



ingens scholasticorum turba in porticum venjt, ut appa- 
rebat, ab extemporali declamatione^riescio' cuius, qui 
Agamemnonis suasoriam exceperat. Dum ergo iuvenes 
sententias rident*ominemque totius dictionis infamant; 
opportune ^subduxi me et cursim Ascylton persequi 
coepi. Sed nee viam diligenter tenebam [quia] nee 
quod stabulum esset sciebam. Itaque quocunque ie- 
ram, eodem revertebar, donee et cursu fatigatus et 

1 scenam Heinsius : scena. 

2 histrionis ad rictus O. Ribbeck : histrioni addictus. 
8 furtiva Heinsius : fort una. 

4 dein Pithoeus: dent. 

8 -- * 



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SATYRICON 

of the wicked, or sit before the stage applauding an 
actor's grimaces for a price. 

But whether the fortress of armoured Tritonis smiles 
upon him, or the land where the Spartan farmer lives, 
or the home of the Sirens, let him give the years of 
youth to poetry, and let his fortunate soul drink of 
the Maeonian fount. Later, when he is full of the 
learning of the Socratic school, let him loose the reins, 
and shake the weapons of mighty Demosthenes like 
a free man. Then let the company of Roman writers 
pour about him, and, newly unburdened from the 
music of Greece, steep his soul and transform his 
taste. Meanwhile, let him withdraw from the courts 
and suffer his pages to run free, and in secret make 
ringing strains in swift rhythm ; then let him proudly 
tell tales of feasts, and wars recorded in fierce chant, 
and lofty words such as undaunted Cicero uttered. 
Gird up thy soul for these noble ends ; so shalt thou 
be fully inspired, and shalt pour out words in swelling 
torrent from a heart the Muses love." 

I was listening to him so carefully that I did not 
notice Ascyltos slipping away. I was pacing the gar- 
dens in the heat of our conversation, when a great 
crowd of students came out into the porch, apparently 
from some master whose extemporary harangue had 
followed Agamemnon s discourse. 1 So while the 
young men were laughing at his epigrams, and de- 
nouncing the tendency of his style as a whole, I 
took occasion to steal away and began hurriedly to 
look for Ascyltos. But I did not remember the road 
accurately, and I did not know where our lodgings 
were. So wherever I went, I kept coming back to 
1 A declamation on a given deliberative theme (suasoria), 
which the teacher delivered as an example to his pupils. 

9 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

7 sudore iam madens accedo aniculam quandam, quae 
agreste holus vendebat, et Rogo" inquam mater, 
numquid scis ubi ego habitem?" delectata est ilia 
urbanitate tarn stulta et Quidni sciam?" inquit, con- 
surrexitque et coepit me praecedere. Divinam ego 
putabam et . . . 

Subinde ut in locum secretiorem venimus, centonem 
anus urbana reiecit et "Hie" inquit "debes habitare." 
Cum ego negarem me agnoscere domum, video quos- 
dam inter titulos nudasque meretrices furtim spatian- 
tes. Tarde, immo iam sero intellexi me in fornicem 
esse deductum. Execratus itaque aniculae insidias 
operui caput et per medium lupanar fugere coepi in 
alteram partem, cum ecce in ipso aditu occurrit mihi 
aeque lassus ac moriens Ascyltos; putares ab eadem 
anicula esse deductum. Itaque ut ridens eum consa- 

8 lutavi, quid in loco tarn deformi faceret quaesivi. Su- 
dorem ille manibus detersit et Si scires " inquit 'quae 
mihi acciderunt." "Quid novi" inquam ^ego?^ at 
ille deficiens cum errarem" inquit "per to tarn civi- 
tatem nee invenirem, quo^oco^stabulum reliquissem, 
accessit ad me pater familiae et ducem se itineris 
humanissime promisit. Per anfractus deinde obscu- 
rissimos egressus in hunc locum me perduxit prolatoque 

L peculio coepit rogare stuprum. | Iam pro cella mere- 
LO trix assem exegerat, | iam ille mihi iniecerat manum, 

et nisi valentior fuissem, dedissem poenas" . . . 
L | Adeo ubique omnes mihi videbantur satureum 

bibisse . . . iunctis viribus molestum contempsimus . . . 

9 Quasi per caliginem vidi Gitona in crepidine semitae 

10 



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SATYRICON 

the same spot, till I was tired out with walking, and 
dripping with sweat. At last I went up to an old 7 
woman who was selling country vegetables and said, 
"Please, mother, do you happen to know where I 
live?" She was charmed with such a polite fool. 
Of course I do," she said, and got up and began to 
lead the way. I thought her a prophetess . . . . , and 
when we had got into an obscure quarter the obliging 
old lady pushed back a patchwork curtain and said, 
" This should be your house. ' ' I was saying that I did not 
remember it, when I noticed some men and naked women 
walking cautiously about among placards of price. Too 
late, too late I realized that I had been taken into a 
bawdy-house. I cursed the cunning old woman, and 
covered my head, and began to run through the brothel 
to another part, when just at the entrance Ascyltos met 
me, as tired as I was, and half-dead. It looked as though 
the same old lady had brought him there. I hailed him 
with a laugh, and asked him what he was doing in such 
an unpleasant spot. He mopped himself with his hands 8 
and said, If you only knew what has happened to me. ' ' 
"What is it?" I said. "Well," he said, on the point 
of fainting, I was wandering all over the town with- 
out finding where I had left "my lodgings, when a 
respectable person came up to me and very kindly 
offered to direct me. He took me round a number 
of dark turnings and brought me out here, and then 
began to offer me money and solicit me. A woman 
got threepence out of me for a room, and he had al- . 
ready seized me. The worst would have happened 
if I had not been stronger than he." . . . 

Every one in the place seemed to be drunk on aphro- 
disiacs . . . but our united forces defied our assailant 

I dimly saw Giton standing on the kerb of the road 9 



CiaaaJt- 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

stantem et in eundem locum me conieci 

Cum quaererem numquid nobis in prandium frater 
parasset, consedit puer super lectum et manantes lacri- 
mas pollice extersit. 1 Perturbatus ego habitu fratris, 
quid accidisset, quaesivi. Et ille tarde quidem et in- 
vitus, sed postquam precibus etiam iracundiam miscui, 
Tuus" inquit ' iste frater seu comes paulo ante in 
conductum accucurrit coepitque mihi velle pudorem 
LO extorquere. | Cum ego proclamarem, gladium strinxit 
et Si Lucretia es' inquit Tarquinium invenisti.' " 
L | Quibus ego auditis intentavi in oculos Ascylti manus 
et Quid dicis" inquam muliebris patientiae scor- 
tum, cuius ne spiritus quidem purus est?" Inhorre- 
scere se finxit Ascyltos, mox sublatis fortius manibus 
longe maiore nisu clamavit : Non taces" inquit "gla- 
diator obscene, quern de . . . ruina harena dimisit? 
Non taces, nocturne percussor, qui ne turn quidem, cum 
fortiter faceres, cum pura muliere pugnasti, cuius 
eadem ratione in viridario frater fui, qua nunc in 
10 deversorio puer est?" "Subduxisti te" inquam 2 "a 
praeceptoris colloquio." ' Quid ego, homo stultissime, 
facere debui, cum fame morerer ? An videlicet audirem 
sententias, id est vitrea fracta et somniorum interpre- 
tamenta ? Multo me turpior es tu hercule, qui ut foris 
cenares, poetam laudasti." 

Itaque ex turpissima lite in risum diffusi pacatius ad 
reliqua secessimus. . . . 

Rursus in memoriam revocatus iniuriae Ascylte" 
. inquam intellego nobis convenire non posse. Itaque 

1 extersit Pithoeus : expressit. 

2 inquam Pithoeus: inquit. 
12 



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SATYRICON 

in the dark, and hurried towards him. ... 1 was asking 
my brother whether he had got ready anything for 
us to eat, when the boy sat down at the head of the 
bed, and began to cry and rub away the tears with 
his thumb. My brother's looks made me uneasy, and 
I asked what had happened. The boy was unwilling 
to tell, but I added threats to entreaties, and at last 
he said, That brother or friend of yours ran into our 
lodgings a little while ago and began to offer me 
violence. I shouted out, and he drew his sword and 
said, If you are a Lucretia, you have found your 
Tarquin.' " 

When I heard this I shook my fist in Ascyltos's 
face. ' What have you to say?" I cried, ' You dirty 
fellow whose very breath is unclean?" Ascyltos first 
pretended to be shocked, and then made a great show 
of fight, and roared out much more loudly: "Hold 
your tongue, you filthy prizefighter. You were kicked 
out of the ring in disgrace. Be quiet, Jack Stab-in- 
the-dark. You never could face a clean woman in 
your best days. I was the same kind of brother to 
you in the garden, as this boy is now in the lodg- 
ings." 

"You sneaked away from the master's talk," I said. 1 
' Well, you fool, what do you expect? I was perish- 
ing of hunger. Was I to go on listening to his views, 
all broken bottles and interpretation of dreams ? By 
God, you are far worse than I am, flattering a poet to 
get asked out to dinner." 

Then our sordid quarrelling ended in a shout of 
laughter, and we retired afterwards more peaceably 
for what remained to be done 

But his insult came into my head again. € Ascyl- 
tos," I said, I am sure we cannot agree. We will 

13 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

communes sarcinulas partiamur ac paupertatem nos- 
tram privatis quaestibus temptemus expellere. Et tu 
litteras scis et ego. Ne quaestibus tuis obstem, aliud 
aliquid promittam; alioqui mille causae quotidie nos 
collident et per totam urbem rumoribus different." 
Non recusavit Ascyltos et "Hodie" inquit ' quia tan- 
quam scholastici ad cenam promisimus, non perdamus 
noctem. Cras autem, quia hoc libet, et habitationem 
mihi prospiciam et aliquem fratrem." Tardum est" 
inquam "differre quod placet." . . . 

Hanc tam praecipitem divisionem libido faciebat; 
iamdudum enim amoliri cupiebam custodem molestum, 
ut veterem cum Gitone meo rationem reducerem. 1 . . . 

1 1 Postquam lustravi oculis totam urbem, in cellulam 
redii, osculisque tandem bona fide exactis alligo artis- 
simis complexibus puerum fruorque votis usque ad in- 
vidiam felicibus. Nee adhuc quidem omnia erant facta, 
cum Ascyltos furtim se foribus admovit discussisque 
fortissime claustris invenit me cum fratre ludentem. 
Risu itaque plausuque cellulam implevit, opertum me 
amiculo evolvit et " Quid agebas " inquit " frater sanctis- 
sime, qui diverti contubernium* facis?" Nee se solum 
intra verba continuit, sed lorum de pera solvit et me 
coepit non pe^ uictorie verberare, adiectis etiam 
petulantibus dictis : " Sic dividere cum fratre nolito "... 

1 2 Veniebamus in forum deficiente iam die, in quo no- 
tavimus frequentiam rerum venalium, tion quidem pre- 
tiosarum sed tamen quarum fidem male ambulantem 
obscuritas temporis facillime tegeret. Cum ergo et ipsi 
raptum latrocinio pallium detulissemus, uti occasione 
opportunissima coepimus atque in quodam angulo 

1 reducerem Buecheler : deducerem. 

2 qui diverti contubernium Buecheler: quid . i . verticon- 
tubernium. 

14 



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SATYRICON 

divide our luggage, and try to defeat our poverty by 
our own earnings. You are a scholar, and so am I. 
Besides, I will promise not to stand in the way of your 
success. Otherwise twenty things a day will bring 
us into opposition, and spread scandal about us all 
over the town." Ascyltos acquiesced, and said, "But 
as we are engaged to supper to-night like a couple of 
students, do not let us waste the evening. I shall be 
pleased to look out for new lodgings and a new 
brother to-morrow ?" Waiting for one's pleasures is 
weary work," I replied. . . . 

I went sight-seeing all over the town and then 11 
came back to the little room. At last I could ask 
for kisses openly. I hugged the boy close in my arms 
and had my fill of a happiness that might be envied. 
All was not over when Ascyltos came sneaking up to 
the door, shook back the bars by force, and found 
me at play with my brother. He filled the room with 
laughter and applause, pulled me out of the cloak I 
had over me, and said, ' What are you at, my pure- 
minded brother, you that would break up our partner- 
ship ? " Not content with gibing, he pulled the strap 
off his bag, and began to give me a regular flogging, 
saying sarcastically as he did so : ' Don't make this 
kind of bargain with your brother." . . . 

It was already dusk when we came into the market. 1 2 
We saw a quantity of things for sale, of no great 
value, though the twilight very easily cast a veil over 
their shaky reputations. So for our part we stole a 
cloak and carried it off, and seized the opportunity of 
displaying the extreme edge of it in one corner of 

15 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

laciniam extremam concutere, si quern forte emptorem 
splendor vestis posset adducere. Nee diu moratus 
rusticus quidam familiaris oculis meis cum muliercula 
comite propius accessit ac diligentius considerare pal- 
lium coepit. Invicem Ascyltos iniecit contemplationem 
super umeros rustici emptoris ac subito exanimatus 
conticuit. Ac ne ipse quidem sine aliquo motu ho- 
minem conspexi, nam videbatur ille mihi esse, qui 
tunicam in solitudine invenerat. Plane is ipse erat. Sed 
cum Ascyltos timeret fidem oculorum, ne quid temere 
faceret, prius tanquam emptor propius accessit de- 
traxitque umeris laciniam et diligentius temptavit. 1 O 
1 3 hi sum fortunae mirabilem. Nam adhuc nee suturae 2 
quidem attulerat rusticus curipsas manus, et 3 tanquam 
mendici spolium etiam fastidiose venditabat. Ascyltos 
postquam depositum esse inviolatum vidit et personam 
vendentis contemptam, seduxit me paululum a turba 
et Scis," inquit frater, rediisse ad nos thesaurum de 
quo querebar? Ilia est tunicula adhuc, ut apparet, in- 
tactis aureis plena. Quid ergo facimus, aut quo iure 
rem nostram vindicamus?" 

Exhilaratus ego non tantum quia praedam videbam, 
sed etiam quod fortuna me a turpissima suspicione 
dimiserat, negavi circuitu agendum, sed plane iure 
civili dimicandum, ut si nollent 4 alienam rem domino 
reddere, ad interdictum venirent. 5 

1 tentavit Burtnann: ternuit. 

8 suturae Pithoeus : futurae and furtivae. 

% tX Buecheler : sed. 

4 nollent Buecheler: nollet. 

• venirent Buecheler: veniret. After veniret the MSS. place 
the poem quid faciant, etc. (p*. 18): it is transposed to its 
ptesent position by Buecheler, 

16 



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SATYRICON 

the market, hoping that the bright colour might 
attract a purchaser. In a little while a countryman, 
whom I knew by sight, came up with a girl, and 
began to examine the cloak narrowly. Ascyltos in 
turn cast a glance at the shoulders of our country 
customer, 1 and was suddenly struck dumb with astonish- 
ment. I could not look upon the man myself without a 
stir, for he was the person, I thought, who had found 
the shirt in the lonely spot where we lost it. He was 
certainly the very man.. But as Ascyltos was afraid to 
trust his eyes for fear of doing something rash, he first 
came up close as if he were a purchaser, and pulled the 
shirt off the countryman's shoulders, and then felt it 
carefully. By a wonderful stroke of luck the country- 13 
man had never laid his meddling hands on the seam, 
and he was offering the thing for sale with a conde- 
scending air as a beggar's leavings. When Ascyltos 
saw that our savings were untouched, and what a poor 
creature the seller was, he took me a little aside from 
the crowd, and said, "Do you know, brother, the 
treasure I was grumbling at losing has come back to us. 
That is the shirt, and I believe it is still full of gold 
pieces : they have never been touched. What shall we 
do? How shall we assert our legal rights ?" 

I was delighted, not only because I saw a chance of 
profit, but because fortune had relieved me of a very 
disagreeable suspicion. I was against any roundabout 
methods. I thought we should proceed openly by 
civil process, and obtain a decision in the courts if 
they refused to give up other people's property to 
the rightful owners. 

1 The rustic was carrying a shirt (tunica) hung over his 
shoulders. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

J 4 Contra Ascyltos leges timebat et ' Quis ' ' aiebat hoc 
loco nos novit, aut quis habebit dicentibus fidem? 
Mihi plane placet emere, quamvis nostrum sit, quod 
agnoscimus, et parvo aere recuperare potius thesaurum, 
quam in ambiguam litem descendere : 
LO | Quid faciant leges, ubi sola pecunia regnat, 

aut ubi paupertas vincere nulla potest? 
Ipsi qui Cynica traducunt tempora pera, 1 

non nunquam nummis vendere vera solent. 2 
Ergo iudicium nihil est nisi publica merces, 

atque eques in causa qui sedet, empta probat." 
L | Sed praeter unum dipondium, 3 quo cicer lupinosque 
destinaveramus mercari, nihil ad manum erat. Itaque 
ne interim praeda discederet, vel minoris pallium ad- 
dicere placuit et 4 pretium maioris compendii leviorem 
facere 5 iacturam. Cum primum ergo explicuimus mer- 
cem, mulier operto 6 capite, quae cum rustico steterat, 
inspectis diligentius signis iniecit utramque laciniae 
manum magnaque vociferatione "Latrones" [tenere] 7 
clamavit. Contra nos perturbati, ne videremur nihil 
agere, et ipsi scissam et sordidam tenere coepimus 
tunicam atque eadem invidia proclamare, nostra esse 
spolia quae ill! possiderent. Sed nullo genere par erat 
causa, [nam] 8 et cociones 9 qui ad clamorem confluxe- 
rant, nostram scilicet de more ridebant invidiam, quod 
pro ilia parte vindicabant pretiosissimam vestem, pro 

1 pera Heinsius : cera. 

a vendere vera solent cod, Vossianus (verba L) : verba 
solent emere other MSS. 

3 dupondium sicel lupinosque quibus destinaveramus J/55 1 ..* 
corrected by Gronovius, Buecheler and an unknown scholar 
mentioned by Boschtus. 

4 et Buecheler: ut. 5 facere Buecheler: faceret. 

• operto Wouwer: aperto. 7 and 8 bracketed by Buecheler, 

9 cociones qui Sal m as i us : condones quae. 
18 



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SATYRICON 

But Ascyltos was afraid of the law : " Nobody knows 1 4 
us in this place," he said, and nobody will believe 
what we say. I should certainly like to buy the thing, 
although it is ours, and we know it. It is better to get 
back our savings cheaply than to embark upon the 
perils of a lawsuit : 

' Of what avail are laws where money rules alone, 
and the poor suitor can never succeed ? The very men 
who mock at the times by carrying the Cynic's scrip 
have sometimes been known to betray the truth for a 
price. So a lawsuit is nothing more than a public 
auction, and the knightly juror who sits listening to 
the case gives his vote as he is paid." 

But we had nothing in hand except one sixpence, 1 
with which we had meant to buy pease and lupines. 
And so for fear our prize should escape us, we decided 
to sell the cloak cheaper than we had intended, and 
so to incur a slight loss for a greater gain. We had 
just unrolled our piece, when a veiled woman, who was 
standing by the countryman, looked carefully at the 
marks, and then seized the cloak with both hands, 
shouting at the top of her voice, Thieves ! " We were 
terrified, but rather than do nothing, we began to tug 
at the dirty torn shirt, and cried out with equal bitter- 
ness that these people had taken some spoil that 
was ours. But the dispute was in no way even, and the 
dealers who were attracted by the noise of course 
laughed at our indignation, since one side was laying 
claim to an expensive cloak, the other to a set of rags 
1 Literally, a coin worth 2 asses. 
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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

hac pannuciam ne centonibus quidem bonis dignam. 
1 5 Hinc Ascyltos bene risum discussit, qui silentio facto 
Videmus " l inquit ' suam cuique rem esse carissimam ; 
reddant nobis tunicam nostram et pallium suum reci- 
piant." Etsi rustico mulierique placebat permutatio, 
advocati tamen iam poenae nocturni, qui volebant 
pallium lucri facere, flagitabant uti apud se utraque 
deponerenturac posterodieiiudex cfuerellam inspiceret. 
Neque enim res tantum, quae viderentur in controver- 
siam esse, sed longe aliud quaeri, quod in utraque 
parte scilicet latrocinii suspicio haberetur. Iam se- 
questri placebant, et nescio quis ex cocionibus, calvus, 
tuberosissimae frontis, qui solebat aliquando etiam 
causas agere, invaserat pallium exhibiturumque cra- 
stino die affirmabat. Ceterum apparebat nihil aliud 
quaeri nisi ut semel deposita vestis inter praedones 
strangularetur et nos metu criminis non veniremus ad 
constitutum. 

Idem plane et nos volebamus. Itaque utriusque partis 
votum casus adiuvit. Indignatus enim rusticus, quod 
nos centonem exhibendum postularemus, misit in 
faciem Ascylti tunicam et liberatos querella iussit 
pallium deponere, quod solum litem faciebat .... 

Et recuperate, ut putabamus, thesauro in deversorium 
praecipites abimus praeclusisque foribus ridere acumen 
non minus cocionum quam calumniantium coepimus, 
quod nobis ingenti calliditate pecuniam reddidissent. 
Nolo quod cupio, statim tenere, 
nee victoria mi placet parata .... 
1 videmus Jwngermann: videamus. 
20 



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SATYRICON 

which would not serve to make a decent patchwork. 1 5 
Ascyltos now cleverly stopped their laughter by calling 
for silence and saying, 'Well, you see, every one has 
an affection for his own things. If they will give us 
our shirt, they shall have their cloak." The country- 
man and the woman were satisfied with this exchange, 
but by this time some policemen had been called in to 
punish us; they wanted to make a profit out of the 
cloak, and tried to persuade us to leave the disputed 
property with them and let a judge look into our com- 
plaints the next day. They urged that besides the 
counter-claims to these garments, a far graver question 
arose, since each party must lie under suspicion of thiev- 
ing. It was suggested that trustees should be appointed, 
and one of the traders, a bald man with a spotty fore- 
head, who used sometimes to do law work, laid hands 
on the cloak and declared that he would produce it 
to-morrow. But clearly the object was that the cloak 
should be deposited with a pack of thieves and be 
seen no more, in the hope that we should not keep 
our appointment, for fear of being charged. 

It was obvious that our wishes coincided with his, and 
chance came to support the wishes of both sides. The 
countryman lost his temper when we said his rags 
must be shown in public, threw the shirt in Ascyltos's 
face, and asked us, now that we had no grievance, to 
give up the cloak which had raised the whole quarrel 

We thought we had got back our savings. We 
hurried away to the inn and shut the door, and 
then had a laugh at the wits of our false accusers 
and at the dealers too, whose mighty sharpness had 
returned our money to us. I never want to grasp 
what I desire at once, nor do easy victories delight 
me." 

21 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

1 6 LO | Sed ut primum beneficio Gitonis praeparata nos im- 
plevimus cena, ostium non satis audaci strepitu exso- 
nuit impulsum. 

Cum et ipsi ergo pallidi rogaremus, quis esset, 
"Aperi" inquit ' iam scies." Dumque loquimur, sera 
sua sponte delapsa cecidit reclusaeque subito fores 
admiserunt intrantem. Mulier autem erat operto 
capite, ilia scilicet quae paulo ante cum rustico stete- 
rat, et "Me derisisse" inquit vos putabatis? ego sum 
ancilla Quartillae, cuius vos sacrum ante cryptam 
turbastis. Ecce ipsa venit ad stabulum petitque ut 
vobiscum loqui liceat. Nolite perturbari. Nee accusat 
errorem vestrum nee punit, immo potius rairatur, quis 
deus iuvenes tarn urbanos in suam regionem detulerit." 
1 7 Tacentibus adhuc nobis et ad neutram partem adsen- 
tationem flectentibus intravit ipsa, una comitata vir- 
gine, sedensque super torum meum diu flevit. Ac ne 
tunc quidem nos ullum adiecimus verbum, sed attoniti 
expectavimus lacrimas ad ostentationem doloris para- 
tas. Ut ergo tarn ambitiosus detumuit 1 imber, retexit 
superbum pallio caput et manibus inter se usque ad 
articulorum strepitum constrictis ' Quaenam est'* 
inquit "haec audacia, aut ubi fabulas etiam anteces- 
sura latrocinia didicistis? misereor mediusfidius vestri ; 
neque enim impune quisquam quod non licuit, ad- 
spexit. Utique nostra regio tarn praesentibus plena 
est numinibus, ut facilius possis deum quam hominem 
invenire. Ac ne me putetis ultionis causa hue venisse, 
aetate magis vestra commoveor quam iniuria mea. 
Imprudentes enim, ut adhuc puto, admisistis inex- 
piabile scelus. Ipsa quidem ilia nocte vexata tam peri- 

1 detumuit Buecheler: detonuit. 
23 



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SATYRICON 

Thanks to Giton, we found supper ready, and we 16 
were making a hearty meal, when a timid knock 
sounded at the door. 

We turned pale and asked who it was. "Open the 
door," said a voice, "and you will see." While we 
were speaking, the bar slipped and fell of its own 
accord, the door suddenly swung open, and let in our 
visitor. It was the veiled woman who had stood with 
the countryman a little while before. " Did you think 
you had deceived me?" she said. ' I am Quartilla's 
maid. You intruded upon her devotions before her 
secret chapel. Now she has come to your lodgings, 
and begs for the favour of a word with you. Do not be 
uneasy ; she will not be angry, or punish you for a 
mistake. On the contrary, she wonders how Heaven 
conveyed such polite young men to her quarter." 
We still said nothing, and showed no approval one 17 
way or the other. Then Quartilla herself came in 
with one girl by her, sat down on my bed, and cried for 
a long while. We did not put in a word even then, 
but sat waiting in amazement for the end of this 
carefully arranged exhibition of grief. When this very 
designing rain had ceased, she drew her proud head 
out of her cloak and wrung her hands together till 
the joints cracked. You bold creatures," she said, 
' where did you learn to outrival the robbers of ro- 
mance ? Heaven knows I pity you. A man cannot 
look upon forbidden things and go free. Indeed the 
gods walk abroad so commonly in our streets that it 
is easier to meet a god than a man. Do not suppose 
that I have come here to avenge myself. I am more 
sorry for your tender years than for my own wrongs. 
For I still believe that heedless youth has led you into 
deadly sin. I lay tormenting myself that night and 

28 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
culoso inhorrui frigore, ut tertianae etiam impetum 
timeam. Et ideo medicinam somnio petii iussaque 
sum vos perquirere atque impetum morbi monstrata 
subtilitate lenire. Sed de remedio non tarn valde 
laboro ; maior enim in praecordiis dolor saevit, qui me 
usque ad necessitatem mortis deducit, ne scilicet 
iuvenili impulsi licentia quod in sacello Priapi vidistis, 
vulgetis deorumque consilia proferatis in populum. 
Protendo igitur ad genua vestra supinas manus peto- 
que et oro, ne nocturnas religiones iocum risumque 
faciatis, neve traducere velitis tot annorum secreta, 
quae vix mille homines noverunt." 

18 Secundum hanc deprecationem lacrimas rursus 
effudit gemitibusque largis concussa tota facie ac pe- 
ctore torum meum pressit. Ego eodem tempore et 
misericordia turbatus et metu, bonum animum habere 
earn iussi et de utroque esse securam: nam neque 
sacra quemquam vulgaturum, et si quod praeterea 
aliud remedium ad tertianam deus illi monstrasset, 
adiuvaturos nos divinam providentiam vel periculo 
nostro. Hilarior post hanc pollicitationem facta mulier 
basiavit me spissius, et ex lacrimis in risum mota 
descendentes ab aure capillos meos lenta 1 manu 
L duxit | et "Facio" inquit "indutias vobiscum, et a 

LO constituta lite dimitto. Quod | si non adnuissetis de 
hac medicina quam peto, iam parata erat in crastinum 
turba, quae et iniuriam meam vindicaret et dignitatem : 

1 lenta Bongarsius: tentata. 
24 



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SATYRICON 

shivering with such a dreadful chill that I even fear 
an attack of tertian ague. So I asked for a remedy in 
my dreams, and was told to find you out and allay the 
raging of my disease by the clever plan you would 
show me. But I am not so greatly concerned about 
a cure ; deep in my heart burns a greater grief, which 
drags me down to inevitable death. I am afraid that 
youthful indiscretion will lead you to publish abroad 
what you saw in the chapel of Priapus, and reveal our 
holy rites to the mob. So I kneel with folded hands 
before you, and beg and pray you not to make a 
laughing-stock of our nocturnal worship, not to deride 
the immemorial mystery to which less than a thousand 
souls hold the key." 

She finished her prayer, and again cried bitterly, 1 8 
and buried her face and bosom in my bed, shaken all 
over with deep sobs. I was distracted with pity and 
terror together. I reassured her, telling her not to 
trouble herself about either point. No one would 
betray her devotions, and we would risk our lives to 
assist the will of Heaven, if the gods had showed her 
any further cure for her tertian ague. At this promise the 
woman grew more cheerful, kissed me again and again 
and gently stroked the long hair that fell about my ears, 
having passed from crying to laughter. "I will sign a 
peace with you, "she said, and withdraw the suit I have 
entered against you. But if you had not promised me the 
cure I want, there was a whole regiment ready for to- 
morrow to wipe out my wrongs and uphold my honour : 

25 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
Contemni turpe est, legem donare superbum ; 

hoc amo, quod possum qua libet ire via. 
Nam sane et sapiens contemptus iurgia nectit, 
et qui non iugulat, victor abire solet" .... 
Complosis deinde manibus in tantum repente risum 
effusa est, ut timeremus. Idem ex altera parte et 

19 ancilla fecit, quae prior venerat, idem virguncula, quae 
una intraverat. Omnia mimico risu exsonuerant, cum 
interim nos, quae tarn repentina esset mutatio ani- 
morum facta, ignoraremus ac modo nosmet ipsos modo 
mulieres intueremur .... 

L I "ideo vetui hodie in hoc deversorio quemquam 
mortalium admitti, ut remedium tertianae sine ulla 
interpellatione a vobis acciperem." Ut haec dixit 
Quartilla, Ascyltos quidem paulisper obstupuit, ego 
autem frigidior hieme Gallica factus nullum potui 
verbum emittere. Sed ne quid tristius expectarem, 
comitatus faciebat. Tres enim erant mulierculae, si 
quid vellent conari, infirmissimae, scilicet contra nos, 
quibus si nihil aliud, virilis sexus esset. Et praecincti 
certe altius eramus. Immo ego sic iam paria compo- 
sueram, ut si depugnandum foret, ipse cum Quartilla 
consisterem, Ascyltos cum ancilla, Giton cum vir- 
gine .... 

Tunc vero excidit omnis constantia attonitis, et 
mors non dubia miserorum oculos coepit obducere .... 

20 Rogo" inquam domina, si quid tristius paras, 
celerius confice; neque enim tarn magnum facinus 
admisimus, ut debeamus torti perire" .... 

26 



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SATYRICON 

To be flouted is disgraceful, but to impose 
terms is glorious: I rejoice that I can follow 
what course I please. For surely even a wise 
man will take up a quarrel when he is flouted, while 
the man who sheds no blood commonly comes off 
victorious/ ' ... 

Then she clapped her hands and suddenly burst 
out laughing so loud that we were frightened. The 
maid who had come in first did the same on one side 
of us, and also the little girl who had come in with 
Quartilla. The whole place rang with farcical laughter, 1 9 
while we kept looking first at each other and then at 
the women, not understanding how they could have 
changed their tune so quickly. ... 

1 forbade any mortal man to enter this inn to-day, 
just so that I might get you to cure me of my tertian 
ague without interruptions. ' ' When Quartilla said this, 
Ascyltos was struck dumb for a moment, while I 
turned colder than a Swiss winter, and could not 
utter a syllable. But the presence of my friends 
saved me from my worst fears. They were three 
weak women, if they wanted to make any attack on 
us. We had at least our manhood in our favour, if 
nothing else. And certainly our dress was more fit 
for action. Indeed I had already matched our 
forces in pairs. If it came to a real fight, I was 
to face Quartilla, Ascyltos her maid, Giton the 
girl 

But then all our resolution yielded to astonishment, 
and the darkness of certain death began to fall on our 
unhappy eyes 

"if you have anything worse in store, madam/' I 20 
said, ' be quick with it. We are not such desperate 
criminals that we deserve to die by torture." . . . 

27 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

Ancilla quae Psyche vocabatur, lodiculam in pavi- 
mento diligenter extendit .... 

Sollicitavit inguina mea mille iam mortibus fri- 
gida .... 

Operuerat Ascyltos pallio caput, admonitus scilicet 
periculosum esse alienis intervenire secretis .... 

Duas institas ancilla protulit de sinu alteraque pedes 
nostros alligavit, altera manus .... 

Ascyltos iam deficiente fabularum contextu "Quid? 
ego ' ' l inquit non sum dignus qui bibam ? ' ' Ancilla risu 
meo prodita complosit manus et Apposui quidem . . . 
adulescens, solus tantum medicamentum ebibisti?" 
Itane est?" inquit Quartilla 'quicquid saturei fuit, 
Encolpius ebibit?" .... 

Non indecenti risu latera commovit .... 
LO | Ac ne Giton quidem ultimo risum tenuit, utique 
postquam virguncula cervicem eius invasit et non re- 
pugnanti puero innumerabilia oscula dedit .... 
21 L I Volebamus miseri exclamare, sed nee in auxilio 
erat quisquam, et hinc Psyche acu comatoria cupienti 
mihi invocare Quiritum fidem malas pungebat, illinc 
puella penicillo, quod et ipsum satureo tinxerat, 
Ascylton opprimebat .... 

Ultimo cinaedus supervenit myrtea subornatus 
gausapa cinguloque succinctus .... 

Modo extortis nos clunibus cecidit, modo basiis 
olidissimis inquinavit, donee Quartilla balaenaceam 
tenens virgam alteque succincta iussit infelicibus dari 
missionem .... 

! ego Goldast: ergo. 
28 



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SATYRlCON 

The maid, whose name was Psyche, carefully spread 
a blanket on the floor. Sollicitavit inguina mea mille 
iam mortibus frigida .... Ascyltos had buried his 
head in his cloak. I suppose he had warning that it 
is dangerous to pry into other people's secrets. . . . 

The maid brought two straps out of her dress 
and tied our feet with one and our hands with the 
other. ... 

The thread of our talk was broken. "Come," said 
Ascyltos, "do not I deserve a drink? " The maid was 
given away by my laughter at this. She clapped her 
hands and said, " I put one by you, young man. Did 
you drink the whole of the medicine yourself? " ' Did 
he really?" said Quartilla, did Encolpius drink up 
the whole of our loving-cup?" Her sides shook with 
delightful laughter. . . . Even Giton had to laugh at last, 
I mean when the little girl took him by the neck and 
showered countless kisses on his unresisting lips. . . . 

We wanted to cry out for pain, but there was no 21 
one to come to the rescue, and when I tried to cry 
" Help, all honest citizens ! " Psyche pricked my cheek 
with a hair-pin, while the girl threatened Ascyltos 
with a wet sponge which she had soaked in an aphro- 
disiac. . . . 

At last there arrived a low fellow in a fine brown 
suit with a waistband. . . . 

Modo extortis nos clunibus cecidit, modo basiis 
olidissimis inquinavit, donee Quartilla balaenaceam 
tenens virgam alteque succincta iussit infelicibus dari 
missionem .... 

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TITUS PETRON1US ARBITER 
Uterque nostrum religiosissimis iuravit verbis inter 
duos periturum esse tarn horribile secretum .... 

Intraverunt palaestritae complures et nos legitimo 
perfusos oleo refecerunt. Utcunque ergo lassitudine 
abiecta cenatoria repetimus et in proximam cellam 
ducti sumus, in qua tres lecti strati erant et reliquus 
lautitiarum apparatus splendidissime expositus. Iussi 
ergo discubuimuS; et gustatione mirifica initiati vino 
etiam Falerno inundamur. Excepti etiam pluribus 
ferculis cum laberemur in somnum, ltane est?" 
inquit Quartilla etiam dormire vobis in mente est, 
cum sciatis Priapi genio pervigilium deberi?" . . . 
22 Cum Ascyltos gravatus tot malis in somnum labe- 
retur, ilia quae iniuria depulsa fuerat ancilla totam 
faciem eius fuligine longa perfricuit et non sentientis 
labra umerosque sopitionibus 1 pinxit. lam ego etiam 
tot malis fatigatus minimum veluti giistum hauseram 
somni ; idem et tota intra forisque familia fecerat, at- 
que alii circa pedes discumbentium sparsi iacebant, 
alii parietibus appliciti, quidam in ipso limine coniun- 
ctis manebant capitibus; lucernae quoque umore de- 
fectae tenue et extremum lumen spargebant : cum duo 
Syri expilaturi [lagoenam] 2 triclinium intraverunt, 
dumque inter argentum avidius rixantur, diductam fre- 
gerunt lagoenam. Cecidit etiam mensa cum argento, 
et ancillae super torum marcentis excussum forte altius 

1 sopitionibus, probably corrupt: soptontbus MSS, of Ca- 
tullus 37, io : ropionibus Hertz, 
8 lagoenam bracketed byjahn, 
30 



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SATYRICON 

We both of us took a solemn oath that the dreadful 
secret should die with us. . . . 

A number of attendants came in, rubbed us down * 
with pure oil ; and refreshed us. Our fatigue vanished, 
we put on evening dress again, and were shown into 
the next room, where three couches were laid and a 
whole rich dinner-service was finely spread out. We 
were asked to sit down, and after beginning with 
some wonderful hors d'oeuvres we swam in wine, and 
that too Falernian. We followed this with more 
courses, and were dropping off to sleep, when Quar- 
tilla said, Well, how can you think of going to sleep, 
when you know that is your duty to devote the whole 
night to the genius of Priapus?" . . . 

Ascyltos was heavy-eyed with all his troubles, and 22 
was falling asleep, when the maid who had been driven 
away so rudely rubbed his face over with soot, and 
coloured his lips and his neck with vermilion while he 
drowsed. By this time I was tired out with adven- 
tures too, and had just taken the tiniest taste of sleep. 
All the servants, indoors and out, had done the same. 
Some lay anyhow by the feet of the guests, some 
leaned against the walls, some even stayed in the 
doorway with their heads together. The oil in 
the lamps had run out, and they gave a thin dying 
light. All at once two Syrians came in to rob the 
dining-room, and in quarrelling greedily over the plate 
pulled a large jug in two and broke it. The table fell 
over with the plate, and a cup which happened to fly 

31 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

pociilum caput tetigit. 1 Ad quem ictum exclamavit 
ilia pariterque et fares prodidit et partem ebriorum 
excitavit. Syri illi qui venerant ad praedam, post- 
quam deprehensos se intellexerunt, pariter secundum 
lectum conciderunt, ut putares hoc convenisse, et 
stertere tanquam olim dormientes coeperunt. 

lam et tricliniarches experrectus lucernis occidenti- 
bus oleum infuderat, et pueri detersis paulisper oculis 
redierant ad ministerium, cum intrans cymbalistria et 

23 concrepans aera omnes excitavit. Refectum igitur est 
convivium et rursus Quartilla ad bibendum revocavit. 
Adiuvit hilaritatem comissantis cymbalistria. . . . 

Intrat cinaedus, homo omnium insulsissimus et plane 
ilia domo dignus, qui ut infractis manibus congemuit, 
eiusmodi carmina effudit : 

Hue hue cito* convenite nunc, spatalocinaedi, 

Pede tendite, cursum addite, convolate planta 

Femoreque 8 facili, clune agili et manu procaces, 

Molles, veteres, Deliaci manu recisi." 

Consumptis versibus suis immundissimo me basio con- 

spuit. Mox et super lectum venit atque omni vi 

detexit recusantem. Super inguina mea diu mul- 

tumque frustra moluit. Profluebant per frontem su- 

24 dantis acaciae rivi, et inter rugas malarum tantum erat 
cretae, ut putares detectum parietem nimbo laborare. 
Non tenui ego diutius lacrimas, sed ad ultimam per- 
ductus tristitiam "Quaeso" inquam 'domina, certe 

1 tetegit Buecheler : fregit. 

2 cito added by Buecheler, 
1 que added by Buecheler, 

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SATYRICON 

some distance hit the head of the maid 
lolling over a seat. The knock made her sc 
this showed up the thieves and woke soi 
drunken party. The Syrians who had con 
dropped side by side on a sofa, when the 
that they were being noticed, with the mos 
ing naturalness, and began to snore like old-e 
sleepers. 

By this time the butler had got up and refilled the 
flickering lamps. The boys rubbed their eyes for a 
few minutes, and then came back to wait. Then a 
girl with cymbals came in, and the crash of the brass 
aroused everybody. Our evening began afresh, and 23 
Quartilla called us back again to our cups. The girl 
with the cymbals gave her fresh spirits for the 
revel. . . . 

Intrat cinaedus, homo omnium insulsissimus et plane 
ilia domo dignus, qui ut infractis manibus congemuit, 
eiusmodi carmina effudit : 

" Hue hue cito 1 convenite nunc, spatalocinaedi, 
Pede tendite, cursum addite, convolate planta 
Femoreque 2 facili, clune agili et manu procaces, 
Molles, veteres, Deliaci manu recisi." 
Consumptis versibus suis immundissimo me basio con- 
spuit. Mox et super lectum venit atque omni vi 
detexit recusantem. Super inguina mea diu mul- 
tumque frustra moluit. Profluebant per frontem su- • 
dantis acaciae rivi, et inter rugas malarum tantum erat 24 
cretae, ut putares detectum parietem nimbo laborare. 
Non tenui ego diutius lacrimas, sed ad ultimam, per- 
ductus tristitiam Quaeso" inquam domina, certe 

1 cito added by Buecheler. 

2 que added by Buecheler. 

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8&US PETRONIUS ARBITER 

•*> ... • 

>seras dari." Complosit ilia tenerius 

nquit "hominem acutum atque urba- 

e 1 fontem. Quid ? tu non intellexeras 

icoetan vocari ? " Deinde ut contuber- 

3 succederet, "Per fidem" inquam 

tos in hoc triclinio solus ferias agit?" 

* w «* H ^», ^jartilla "et Ascylto embasicoetas de- 

tur." Ab hac voce equum cinaedus mutavit transitu- 

que ad comitem meum facto clunibus eum basiisque 

LO distrivit. | Stabat inter haec Giton et risu dissolvebat 

ilia sua. Itaque conspicata eum Quartilla, cuius esset 

puer, diligentissima sciscitatione quaesivit. Cum ego 

fratrem meum esse dixissem, " Quare ergo ' ' inquit ' me 

non basiavit?" Vocatumque ad se in osculum appli- 

cuit. Mox manum etiam demisit in sinum et per- 

trectato vasculo tam rudi Haec" inquit ' belle eras 

in promulside libidinis nostrae militabit; hodie enim 

post asellum diaria non sumo." 

25 Cum haec diceret, ad aurem eius Psyche ridens 

accessit, et cum dixisset nescio quid, "ita, ita" inquit 

Quartilla ' bene admonuisti. Cur non, quia bellissima 

occasio est, devirginatur Pannychis nostra?" Con- 

tinuoque producta est puella satis bella et quae non 

plus quam septem annos habere videbatur, [et] ea ipsa 

quae primum cum Quartilla in cellam venerat nostram. 

Plaudentibus ergo universis et postulantibus nuptias 

[fecerunt] 2 obstupui ego et nee Gitona, Verecundissi- 

mum puerum, sufficere huic petulantiae affirmavi, nee 

1 vernaculae Scioppius: vernulae. 

8 fecerunt bracketed by Mommsen. 

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SATYRICON 

embasicoetan iusseras dari." Complosit ilia tenerius 
manus et O" inquit hominem acutum atque urba- 
nitatis vernaculae fontem. Quid? tu non intellexeras 
cinaedum embasicoetan vocari?" Deinde ut contuber- 
nali meo melius succederet, Per fidem" inquam 
vestram, Ascyltos in hoc triclinio solus ferias agit?" 
Ita" inquit Quartilla "et Ascylto embasicoetas de- 
tur." Ab hac voce equum cinaedus mutavit transitu- 
que ad comitem meum facto clunibus eum basiisque 
distrivit. | Stabat inter haec Giton et risu dissolvebat LO 
ilia sua. Itaque conspicata eum Quartilla, cuius esset 
puer, diligentissima sciscitatione quaesivit. Cum ego 
fratrem meum esse dixissem, Quare ergo ' ' inquit " me 
non basiavit?" Vocatumque ad se in osculum appli- 
cuit. Mox manum etiam demisit in sinum et per- 
trectato vasculo tarn rudi Haec" inquit belle eras 
in promulside libidinis nostrae militabit : hodie enim 
post asellum diaria non sumo." 

Cum haec diceret, ad aurem eius Psyche ridens 25 
accessit, et cum dixisset nescio quid, Ita, ita" inquit 
Quartilla bene admonuisti. Cur non, quia bellissima 
occasio est, devirginatur Pannychis nostra?" Con- 
tinuoque producta est puella satis bella et quae non 
plus quam septem annos habere videbatur, [et] ea ipsa 
quae primum cum Quartilla in cellam venerat nostram. 
Plaudentibus ergo universis et postulantibus nuptias 
[fecerunt] obstupui ego et nee Gitona, verecundissi- 
mum puerum, sufficere huic petulantiae affirmavi, nee 
d2 35 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

puellam eius aetatis esse, ut muliebris patientiae le- 
gem posset accipere. Ita" inquit Quartilla "minor 
est ista quam ego fui, cum primum virum passa sum ? 
Iunonem meam iratam habeam, si unquam me memi- 
nerim virginem fuisse. Nam et infans cum paribus 
inclinata 1 sum, et subinde procedentibus 2 annis maio- 
ribus me pueris applicui, donee ad hanc aetatem per- 
veni. Hinc etiam puto proverbium natum illud, ut 
dicatur posse taurum tollere, qui vitulum sustulerit." 
Igitur ne maiorem iniuriam in secreto frater acciperet, 
26 consurrexi ad ofpeium nuntiale. Iani Psyche puellae 
caput involverat; naipirieo, iam emfcasicoetas praefere- 
bat facem, iam elmae muliere^ longum agmen plau- 
dentes ^lecerant thaiamunique 'incesta <pornaveran^ / 
veste, cum 3 Quartilla quoque iocantium tibidine ac-* 
censa et ipsa surrexit correptumque Gitona in cubicu- 
lum traxit. . . ., ; « VJL.- 

Sine dubio npn repugnaverat puer p ^c ne puella 
quidem tristis expaverat nuptiarum nomen. Itaque 
cum inclusi iacerent, consedimus ante limen thalami, 
et in primis Quartilla per "rimamimprebe diductam 
applicuerat oculum curiosum lusumque puerilem libi- 
* " •" clinosa speculaba£ur diligentia. Me quoque ad idem 
spectaculum'iehta manu traxit, et quia conslderahtium 
cohaeserant 4 yultus, quicquid a spectaculo va^abat, 
commovebat ,obiter labraet me tanquam furtivis' sud*- ' 
inde osculis Vertierabat. . . . 

1 inclinata Buecheler: inquinata. 

2 procedentibus Burmann on authority of "Old MS,": 
prodeuntibus. 

8 cum Buecheler: turn. 

4 cohaeserant Buecheler: haeserant. 

36 



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SATYRICON 

puellam eius aetatis esse, ut muliebris patientiae le- 
gem posset accipere. Ita" inquit Quartilla minor 
est ista quam ego fui, cum primum virum passa sum ? 
Iunonem meam iratam habeam, si unquam me memi- 
nerim virginem fuisse. Nam et infans ciim paribus 
inclinata 1 sum, et subinde procedentibus 2 annis maio- 
ribus me pueris applicui, donee ad hanc aetatem per- 
veni. Hinc etiam puto proverbium natum illud, ut 
dicatur posse taurum tollere, qui vitulum sustulerit." 
Igitur ne maiorem iniuriam in secreto frater acciperet, 
consurrexi ad officium nuptiale. lam Psyche puellae 26 i 
caput involverat flammeo, iam embasicoetas praefere- 
bat facem, iam ebriae mulieres longum agmen plau- 
dentes fecerant thalamumque incesta exornaverant 
veste, cum 8 Quartilla quoque iocantium libidine ac- 
censa et ipsa surrexit correptumque Gitona in cuhicu- 
lum traxit. 

Sine dubio non repugnaverat puer, ac ne puella 
quidem tristis expaverat nuptiarum nomen. Itaque 
cum inclusi iacerent, consedimus ante limen thalami, 
et in primis Quartilla per rimam improbe diductam 
applicuerat oculum curiosum lusumque puerilem libi- 
dinosa speculabatur diligentia. Me quoque ad idem 
spectaculum lenta manu traxit, et quia considerantium 
cohaeserant 4 vultus, quicquid a spectaculo vacabat, 
commovebat obiter labra et me tanquam furtivis sub- 
inde osculis verberabat. ... 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

L 9 | Abiecti in lectis sine metu reliquam exegimus 

noctem. . . . 
H | Venerat iam tertius dies, id est expectatio liberae 
cenae, sed tot vulneribus confossis fuga magis placebat, 
quam quies. Itaque cum maesti deliberaremiis, 
quonam genere praesentein evitaremus procellam, 
unus servus Agamemnonis interpellavit trepidantes 
et Quid? vos" inquit nescitis, hodie apud quern 
fiat? Trimalchio, lautissimus homo, horologium in 
triclhrip et bucinatorem habet subornatum, ut subinde 
sciat, quantum de vita perdiderit." Amicimur ergo 
diligenter obliti omnium malorum, et Gitona libentis- 
sime servile officium tuentem usque hoc 'iubemus in 

27 balnea 1 sequi. Nos interim vestiti errare coepimus . . . 
immo iocari magis et circulis [ludentem] 3 accedere, 

HL cum subito | videmus senem t&lvum, tunicavestitum 
russea, inter pueros capillatos Judentem pfla. Nee 
tarn pueri nos, quamquam erat operae pretium, ad 
spectaculum duxerant, quam ipse pater familiae, qui 
sofeatus pila prasina exercebatur. Nec^ amplius earn 
repetebat quae terram cpn^igerat, sed foflem plenum 
habebat servus sunrclebatque ludentibus. Notavimus 
etianrres novas. Nam duo" spadones in diversa paV'te 
circuli stabant, quorum alter matettam tenebat argen- 
team, alter numerabat pilas, non^ quidem eas quae inter 
manus lusu expellente vioratant, sed eas quae in 
terram decidebant. Cum has ergo miraremur Tautitias, 
H | accurrit Menelaus et Hie est" inquit apud quern 
cubitum ponetis, et quidem 3 iam principium cenae 
videtis." Et iam non loquebatur Menelaus cum 

1 balnea Jahn: balneo. 

2 ludentem bracketed by. Buecheler, 

3 quidem Buecheler : quid. 

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SATYRICON 

We threw ourselves into bed and spent the rest of 
the night without terrors. . . . 

The third day had come. A good dinner was pro- 
mised. But we were bruised and sore. Escape was 
better even than rest. We were making some melan- 
choly plans for avoiding the coming storm, when one of 
Agamemnon's servants came up as we stood hesitating, 
and said, " Do you not know at whose house it is to- 
day? Trimalchio, a very rich man, who has a clock 
and a uniformed trumpeter in his dining-room, to keep 
telling him how much of his life is lost and gone. ' ' We 
forgot our troubles and hurried into our clothes, and 
told Giton, who till now had been waiting on us very 
willingly, to follow us to the baths. We began to 27 
take a stroll in evening dress to pass the time, or 
rather to joke and mix with the groups of players, 
when all at once we saw a bald old man in a reddish 
shirt playing at ball with some long-haired boys. It 
was not the boys that attracted our notice, though 
they deserved it, but the old gentleman, who was ,in 
his house-shoes, busily engaged with a green ball. 
He never picked it up if it touched the ground. A 
slave stood by with a bagful and supplied them to the 
players. We also observed a new feature in the game. 
Two eunuchs were standing at different points in the 
jflrroup. One held a silver Jordan, one counted the 
balls, not as they flew from hand to hand in the rigour 
of the game, but when they dropped to the ground. 
We were amazed at such a display, and then Menelaus 1 
ran up and said, This is the man who will give you 
places at his table : indeed what you see is the over- 
ture to his dinner." Menelaus had just finished when 

1 Agamemnon's assistant, who would take junior classes in 
rhetoric. He is called antescholanus, assistant tutor, in c. 81. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

HL | Trimalchio digitos concrepiiit, ad quod signum 
matellam spado ludenti subiecit. Exonerata ille 
vesica aquam poposcit ad manus, digitasque paululum 
adspersos in capite pueri tersit. 

28 Longum erat singula excipefe. > Itaque intra vimus 
balneum, et sudore calfacti momento temporis ad 
frigidam eximus. lam Trimalchio unguento perfusus 
tergebatur, non linteis, sed palliis , ex lana mollissima 
factis. Tres interim' iatraliptae in conspectu eius 

H Falernum potabant, | et cum plurimum rixantes 
effunderent, Trimalchio hoc suum propinasse dicebat * 

HL | Hinc involutus coccina gausapa lecticae impositus est 
praecedentibus phaleratis cursoribus quattuor et 
chiramaxio, in quo deliciae eius vehebantur, puer 
vetulus, lippus, domino Trimalchione deformior. Cum 
ergo auferretur, ad caput eius symphoniacus cum 
minimis tibiis accessit et tanquam in aurem aliquid 
secreto diceret, toto itinere cantavit. 

Sequimur nos admiration e iam saturi et cum 

H Agamemnone ad ianuam pervenimus, | in cuius poste 

libellus erat cum hac inscriptione fixus: 'Quisquis 

servus sine dominico iussu foras exierit, accipiet nlagas 

HL centum." IjLsL^aditu autem ipso stabat ostivius 
prasinatus, ^erasino) succinctus cingulo, atque in l^ice 
argentea pisum purgabat. Super limen autem ca^Rr 

29 pendebat aurea, in qua pica varia intrantes salutabat. 
Ceterum ego dum omnia stupeo, paene resupinatus 
crura mea fregi. Ad sinistram enim intrantibus non 
longe ab ostiarii cella canis ingens, catena vinctus, in 
pariete erat pictus superque quadrata littera scriptum 

Cave canem." Et collegae quidem mei riserunt, 
ego autem collecto spiritu non destiti totum parietem 
persequi. Erat autem venalicium cum titulis pictum, 
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SATYRICON 

Trimalchio cracked his fingers. One eunuch came up 
at this signal and held the Jordan for him as he played. 
He relieved himself and called for a basin, dipped in 
his hands and wiped them on a boy's head. 

I cannot linger over details. We went into the bath. 28 
We stayed till we ran with sweat, and then at once 
passed through into the cold water. Trimalchio was 
now anointed all over and rubbed down, not with towels, 
but with blankets of the softest wool. Three masseurs 
sat there drinking Falernian wine under his eyes. 
They quarrelled and spilt a quantity. Trimalchio said 
they were drinking his health. Then he was rollecl 
up in a scarlet woollen coat and put in a litter.- Four 
runners decked with medals went before him, and a 
hand-cart on which his favourite rode. This was a 
wrinkled blear-eyed boy uglier than his master 
Trimalchio. As he was being driven off, a musician 
with a tiny pair of pipes arrived, and played the whole 
way as though he were whispering secrets in his ear. 

We followed, lost in wonder, and came with Aga- 
memnon to the door. A notice was fastened on the 
doorpost: no slave to go out op doors except by 

THE MASTER'S ORDERS. PENALTY, ONE HUNDRED STRIPES." 

Just at the entrance stood a porter in green clothes, 
with a cherry-coloured belt, shelling peas in a silver 
dish. A golden cage hung in the doorway, and a 
spotted magpie in it greeted visitors. I was gazing 29 
at all this, when I nearly fell backwards and broke my 
leg. For on the left hand as you went in, not far from 
the porter's office, a great dog on a chain was painted 
on the wall, and over him was written in large letters 
'beware of the dog." My friends laughed at me, 
but I plucked up courage and went on to examine 
the whole wall. It had a picture of a slave-market 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
et ipse Trimalchio capillatus caduceum tenebat Miner- 
vaque ducente Romam intrabat. Hinc quemadmodum 
ratiocinari didicisset, denique dispensator factus esset, 
omnia diligenter curiosus pictor cum inscriptions 
reddiderat. In deficiente vero iam porticu levatum 
mento in tribunal excelsum Mercurius rapiebat. 
Praesto erat Fortuna cornu abundanti copiosa et tres 
farcae aurea pensa torquentes. Notavi etiam in porticu 
gregem cursorum cum magistro se exercentem. Prae- 
terea grande armarium in angulo vidi, in cuius aedicula 
erant Lares argentei positi Venerisque signum mar- 
moreum et pyxis aurea non pusilla, in quo barbam 
ipsius conditam esse dicebant. 

Interrogare ergo atriensem coepi, quas in medio 
H picturas haberent. Iliada et Odyssian" inquit | "ac 
Laenatis gladiatorium munus. ' ' Non licebat multaciam 1 
considerare .... 
HL 30 Nos | iam ad triclinium perveneramus, in cuius parte 
prima procurator rationes accipiebat. Et quod prae- 
cipue miratus sum, in postibus triclinii fasces erant 
cum securibus fixi, quorum unam partem quasi embo- 
lum navis aeneum finiebat, in quo erat scriptum: "C. 

1 multaciam corrupt: Biiecheler suggests multa iam. 
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SATYRICON 

on it, with the persons' names. Trimalchio was there 
with long hair, holding a Mercury's staff. 1 Minerva 
had him by the hand and was leading him into Rome. 
Then the painstaking artist had given a faithful picture 
of his whole career with explanations: how he had 
learned to keep accounts, and how at last he had been 
made steward. At the point where the wall-space 
gave out, Mercury had taken him by the chin, and was 
whirling him up to his high official throne. For- 
tune stood by with her flowing horn of plenty, and 
the three fates spinning their golden threads. I also 
observed a company of runners practising in the 
gallery under a trainer, and in a corner I saw a large 
cupboard containing a tiny shrine, wherein were silver 
house-gods, and a marble image of Venus, and a large 
golden box, where they told me Trimalchio' s first 
beard was laid up. 

I began to ask the porter what pictures they had 
in the hall. "The Iliad and the Odyssey," he said, 
' and the gladiator's show given by Laenas." I could 
not take them all in at once 

We now went through to the dining-room. At the SO 
entrance the steward sat receiving accounts. I was 
particularly astonished to see rods and axes fixed on 
the door posts of the dining-room, and one part of 
them finished off with a kind of ship's beak, 
inscribed : 

1 Mercury, as the god of business, was Trimalchio's patron. 
It was Mercury who secured Trimalchio's selection to be a 
Sevir Augustalis, an official responsible for duly carrying out 
the worship of the Emperor. One of the privileges of the 
Sevirs was to sit on a throne. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
Pompeio Trimalchioni, seviro Augustali, Cinnamus 
dispensator." Sub eodem titulo et lucerna bilychnis 
de camera pendebat, et duae tabulae in utroque poste 
defixae, quarum altera, si bene memini. hoc habebat 
inscriptum : III. et pridie kalendas Ianuarias C. no- 
ster foras cenat/' altera lunae cursum stellarumque 
septem imagines pictas ; et qui dies boni quique in- 
commodi essent, distinguente bulla notabantur. 
H | His repleti voluptatibus cum conaremur in tricli- 
nium intrare, exclamavit unus ex pueris, qui super hoc 
oflicium erat positus, ' Dextro pede." Sine dubio 
paulisper trepidavimus, ne contra praeceptum aliquis 

HL nostrum limen transiret. | Ceterum ut pariter movi- 
mus dextros gressus, servus nobis despoliatus procubuit 
ad pedes ac rogare coepit, ut se poenae eriperemus: 
nee magnum esse peccatum suum, propter quod peri- 
clitaretur ; subducta enim sibi vestimenta dispensatoris 
in balneo, quae vix fuissent decern sestertiorum. 
Rettulimus ergo dextros pedes dispensatoremque in 
atrio 1 aureos humerantem deprecati sumus, ut servo 
remitteret poenam. Superbus ille sustulit vultum et 
Non tam iactura me movef inquit quam negli- 
gentia nequissimi servi. Vestimenta mea cubitoria 
perdidit, quae mihi natali meo cliens quidam dona- 
verat, Tyria sine dubio, sed iam semel lota. Quid 
ergo est? Dono vobis eum." 

31 Obligati tam grandi beneficio cum intrassemus tri- 
1 in atrio Bitecheler; in precario. 
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SATYRICON 

"presented by cinnamus the steward to caius pom- 
peius trimalchio, priest of the college of augustus." 1 
Under this inscription a double lamp hung from the 
ceiling, and two calendars were fixed on either door- 
post, one having this entry, if I remember right : "Our 
master C. Is out to supper on December the 30th and 
31st," the other being painted with the moon in her 
course, and the likenesses of the seven stars. Lucky 

and unlucky days were marked too with distinctive 

knobs. 

Fed full of these delights, we tried to get into the 
dining-room, when one of the slaves, who was en- 
trusted with this duty, cried, " Right foot first ! " For 
a moment we were naturally nervous, for fear any of 
us had broken the rule in crossing the threshold. 
But just as we were all taking a step with the right 
foot together, a slave stripped for flogging fell at our 
feet, and began to implore us to save him from punish- 
ment. It was no great sin which had put him in such 
peril; he had lost the steward's clothes in the bath, 
and the whole lot were scarcely worth ten sesterces. 
So we drew back our right feet, and begged the 
steward, who sat counting gold pieces in the hall, to 
let the slave off. He looked up haughtily, and said, 
It is not the loss I mind so much as the villain's 
carelessness. He lost my dinner dress, which one of 
my clients gave me on my birthday. It was Tyrian 
dye, of course, but it had been washed once already. 
Well, well, I make you a present of the fellow." 

We were obliged by his august kindness, and when 31 

1 Rods and axes were the symbols of office of lictors, the 
attendants on Roman magistrates, and the Sevirs had the 
right to be attended by lictors. See c. 65. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

clinium, occurrit nobis ille idem servus, pro quo 
rogaveramus, et stupentibus spississima basia impegit 
gratias agens humanitati nostrae. Ad sumrrlam, 
statim scietis" ait cui dederitis beneficium. Vinum 
dominicum ministratoris gratia est" . . . 

Tandem ergo discubuimus pueris Alexandrinis 
aquam in manus nivatam infundentibus aliisque inse- 
quentibus ad pedes ac paronychia cum ingenti sub- 
tilitate tollentibus. Ac ne in hoc quidem tarn molesto 
tacebant officio, sed obiter cantabant. Ego experiri 
volui, an tota familia cantaret, itaque potionem po- 
pasci. Paratissimus puer non minus me acido cantico 
excepit, et quisquis aliquid rogatus erat ut daret . . . 
pantomimi chorum, non patris familiae triclinium cre- 
deres. Allata est tamen gustatio valde lauta; nam 
iam omnes discubuerant praeter ipsum Trimalchionem, 
cui locus novo more primus servabatur. Ceterum in 
promulsidari asellus erat Corinthius cum bisaccio posi- 
tus, qui habebat olivas in altera parte albas, in altera 
nigras. Tegebant asellum duae lances, in quarum 
marginibus nomen Trimalchionis inscriptum erat et 
argenti pondus. Ponticuli etiam ferruminati sustine- 
bant glires melle ac papavere sparsos. Fuerunt et 
tomacula super craticulam argenteam ferventia posita, 
et infra craticulam Syriaca pruna cum granis Punici 
mali. 
32 In his eramus lautitiis, cum ipse Trimalchio ad 
symphoniam allatus est positusque inter cervicalia 
minutissima expressit imprudent ibus risum. Pallio 
enim coccineo adrasum excluserat caput circaque one- 
ratas veste cervices laticlaviam immiserat mappam 
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SATYRICON 

we were in the dining-room, the slave for whom we 
had pleaded ran up, and to our astonishment rained 
kisses on us, and thanked us for our mercy. "One 
word/' he said, * you will know in a minute who owes 
you a debt of gratitude: The master's wine is in , 
the butler's gift.' "* 

At last then we sat down, and boys from Alexandria 
poured water cooled with snow over our hands. 
Others followed and knelt down at our feet, and pro- 
ceeded with great skill to pare our hangnails. Even 
this unpleasant duty did not silence them, but they kept 
singing at their work. I wanted to find out whether 
the whole household could sing, so I asked for a drink. 
A ready slave repeated my order in a chant not less 
shrill. They all did the same if they were asked to 
hand anything. It was more like an actor's dance 
than a gentleman's dining-room. But some rich and 
tasty whets for the appetite were brought on; for 
every one had now sat down except Trimalchio, who 
had the first place kept for him in the new style. A'^ 
donkey in Corinthian bronze stood on the side-board, 
with panniers holding olives, white in one side, black 
in the other. Two dishes hid the donkey; Trimal- 
chio' s name and their weight in silver was engraved 
on their edges. fThere were also dormice rolled in 
honey and poppy-seed, and supported on little bridges 
soldered to the plate. Then there were hot sausages 
laid on a silver grill, and under the grill damsons and 
seeds of pomegranate. 

While we were engaged with these delicacies, Tri- 32 
malchio was conducted in to the sound of music, propped 
on the tiniest of pillows. A laugh escaped the unwary. 
His head was shaven and peered out of a scarlet cloak, 
and over the heavy clothes on his neck he had put on a 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

fimbriis hinc atque illinc pendentibus. Habebat etiam 
in minimo digito sinistrae manus anulum grandem 
subauratum, extremo vero articulo digiti sequentis 
minorem, ut mihi videbatur, totum aureum, sed plane 
ferreis veluti steUis ferruminatum. • Et ne has tan turn 
ostenderet divitias, dextrum nudavit lacertum armilla 
aurea cultum et eboreo circulo lamina splendente 
33 conexo. Ut deinde pinna argentea dentes perfodit, 
Amici " inquit nondum mihi suave erat in triclinium 
venire, sed ne diutius absentivos morae vobis essem, 
omnem voluptatem mihi negavi. Permittetis tamen 
finiri lusum." Sequebatur puer cum tabula terebin- 
thina et crystallinis tesseris, notavique rem omnium 
delicatissimam. Pro calculis enim albis ac nigris 
aureos argenteosque habebat denarios. Interim dum 
ille omnium textorum dicta inter lusum consumit, 
gustantibus adhuc nobis repositorium allatum est cum 
corbe, in quo gallina erat lignea patentibus in orbem 
alis, quales esse solent quae incubant ova. Accessere 
continuo duo servi et symphonia strepente scrutari 
paleam coeperunt erutaque subinde pavonina ova 
divisere convivis. Convertit ad hanc scaenam Trimal- 
chio vultum et Amici " ait pavonis ova gallinae iussi 
supponi. Et mehercules timeo ne iam concepti sint ; 
temptemus tamen, si adhuc sorbilia sunt." Accipi- 
mus nos cochlearia non minus selibras pendentia ova- 
que ex farina pingui figurata pertundimus. Ego 
quidem paene proieci partem meam, nam videbatur 
mihi iam in pullum coisse. Deinde ut audivi veterem 
convivam: "Hie nescio quid boni debet esse," perse* 
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SATYRICON 

napkin with a broad stripe and fringes hanging from it 
all round. On the little finger of his left hand he had an 
enormous gilt ring, and on the top joint of the next finger 
a smaller ring which appeared to me to be entirely 
gold, but was really set all round with iron cut out in 
little stars. Not content with this display of wealth, 
he bared his right arm, where a golden bracelet shone, 
and an ivory bangle clasped with a plate of bright 
metal. Then he said, as he picked his teeth with a 33 
silver quill, It was not convenient for me to come 
to dinner yet, my friends, but I gave up all my own 
pleasure ; I did not like to stay away any longer and 
keep you waiting. But you will not mind if I finish 
my game ? " A boy followed him with a table of tere- 
binth wood and crystal pieces, and I noticed the 
prettiest thing possible. Instead of black and white 
counters they used gold and silver coins. Trimalchio 
kept passing every kind of remark as he played, and 
we were still busy with the hors d'ceuvres, when a tray 
was brought in with a basket on it, in which there was 
a hen made of wood, spreading out her wings as they 
do when they are sitting. The music grew loud : two 
slaves at once came up and began to hunt in the straw. 
Peahen s eggs were pulled out and handed to the 
quests. Trimalchio turned his head to look, and said, 
' I gave orders, my friends, that peahen's eggs should 
be put under a common hen. And upon my oath I 
am afraid they are hard-set by now. But we will try 
whether they are still fresh enough to suck." We 
took our spoons, half-a-pound in weight at least, and 
hammered at the eggs, which were balls of fine meal. 
I was on the point of throwing away my portion. I 
thought a peachick had already formed. But hearing 
a practised diner say, " What treasure have we here?" 
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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
cutus putamen manu pinguissimam ficedulam inveni 
piperato vitello circumdatam. 

34 lam Trimalchio eadem omnia lusu intermisso popo- 
scerat feceratque potestatem clara voce, si quis nostrum 
iterum vellet mulsum sumere, cum subito signum 
symphonia datur et gustatoria pariter a choro cantante 
rapiuntur. Ceterum inter tumultum cum forte par- 
opsis excidisset et puer iacentem sustulisset, animad- 
vertit Trimalchio colaphisque obiurgari puerum ac 
proicere rursus paropsidem iussit. Insecutus est 
lecticarius 1 argentumque inter reliqua purgamenta 
Hscopis coepit everrere. | Subinde intraverunt duo 
Aethiopes capillati cum pusillis utribus, quales solent 
esse qui harenam in amphitheatro spargunt, vinumque 
dedere in manus ; aquam enim nemo porrexit. 

HL | Laudatus propter elegantias dominus ' Aequum" 
inquit Mars amat. Itaque iussi 2 suam cuique men- 
sam assignari. Obiter et putidissimi 3 servi minorem 
nobis aestum frequentia sua facient." 

Statim allatae sunt amphorae vitreae diligenter 
gypsatae, quarum in cervicibus pittacia erant affixa 
cum hoc titulo: "Falernum Opimianum annorum 
centum." Dum titulos perlegimus, complosit Trimal- 
chio manus et "Eheu" inquit "ergo diutius vivit | 
H vinum quam homuncio. Quare tengomenas 4 faciamus. 

HL vita | vinum est. Verum Opimianum praesto. Heri 

1 supellecticarius Dousa. 

2 iussi Burmann : iussit MSS. 

8 putidissimi Heinsius : pudissimi or pdissimi. 
4 tengomenas Buecheler: tangomenas. 
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SATYRICON 

I poked through the shell with my finger, and found 
a fat becafico rolled up in spiced yolk of egg. 

Trimalchio had now stopped his game, and 34 
asked for all the same dishes, and in a loud voice 
invited any of us, who wished, to take a second glass 
of mead. Suddenly the music gave the sign, and the 
light dishes were swept away by a troop of singing 
servants. An entree-dish happened to fall in the rush, 
and a boy picked it up from the ground. Trimalchio 
saw him, and directed that he should be jhinished by 
a box on the ear, and made to throw down the dish 
again. A chairman followed and began to sweep out 
the silver with a broom among the other rubbish. 
Then two long-haired Ethiopians with little wine- 
skins, just like the men who scatter sand in an am- 
phitheatre, came in and gave us wine to wash our 
hands in, for no one offered us water. — - " 

We complimented our host on his arrangements. 
Mars loves a fair field," said he, "and so I gave 
orders that every one should have a separate table. 
In that way these filthy slaves will not make us so 
hot. by crowding past us;" 

/"Just then some glass jars carefully fastened with 
'gypsum were brought on, with labels tied to their 
necks, inscribed, ' Falernian of Opimius's vintage, 
100 years in bottle." 1 As we were poring over the 
labels Trimalchio clapped his hands and cried, Ah 
me, so wine lives longer than miserable man. So let 
us be merry. 3 Wine is life. I put on real wine of 

1 Opimius was consul in 121 B.C. 

3 The meaning of the word tengomenas is uncertain. 
Attempts have been made to connect it with the Greek 
rtyyeiv, "to wet, v because Alcaeus says rfryye irve^/xovas 
otf(?> " wet the lungs with wine.*' 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
non tarn bonum posui, et multo honestiores cenabant." 
Potantibus ergo nobis et accuratissime lautitias mi- 
rantibus larvam argenteam attulit servus sic aptatam, 
ut articuli eius vertebraeque luxatae in omnem partem 
flecterentur. Hanc cum super mensam semel iterum- 
que abiecisset, et catenatio mobilis aliquot figuras ex- 
primeret, Trimalchio adiecit : 

Eheu nos miseros, quam totus homuncio nil est. 
Sic erimus cuncti, postquam nos auferet Orcus. 
Ergo vivamus, dum licet esse bene." 
35 Laudationem ferculum est insecutum plane non pro 
expectatione magnum; novitas tamen omnium con- 
vertit oculos. Rotundum enim repositorium duodecim 
habebat signa in orbe disposita, super quae proprium 
convenientemque materiae structor imposuerat cibum : 
super arietem cicer arietinum, super taurum bubulae 
frustum, super geminos testiculos ac rienes, super can- 
crum coronam, super leonem ficum Africanam, super 
virginem steriliculam, super libram stateram in cuius 
H altera parte scriblita erat, in altera placenta, | super 
HL scorpionem pisciculum marinum, | super sagittarium 
oclopetam, super capricornum locustam marinam, 
super aquarium anserem, super pisces duos mullos. 
In medio autem caespes cum herbis excisus favum 
sustinebat. Circumferebat Aegyptius puer clibano 
argenteo panem. . . . 

Atque ipse etiam taeterrima voce de Laserpieiario 
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SATYRICON 

Opimius's year. I produced some inferior stuff yester- 
day, and there was a much finer set of people to 
dinner." As we drank and admired each luxury in 
detail, a slave brought in a silver skeleton, made so that 
its limbs and spine could be moved and bent in every 
direction. He put it down once or twice on the table 
so that the supple joints showed several attitudes, and 
Trimalchio said appropriately: Alas for us poor 
mortals, all that poor man is is nothing. So we shall 
all be, after the world below takes us away. Let us 
live then while it goes well with us." 

After we had praised this outburst a dish followed, \S5 
not at all of the size we expected; but its novelty 
drew every eye to it. There was a round plate with 
the twelve signs of the Zodiac set in order, and on 
each one the artist had laid some food fit and proper 
to the symbol ; over the Ram ram's-head pease, a piece 
of beef on the Bull, kidneys over the Twins, over *^ 
the Crab a crown, an African fig over the Lion, a 
barren sow's paunch over Virgo, over Libra a pair of 
scales with a muffin on one side and a cake on the 
other, over Scorpio a small sea-fish, over Sagittarius 
a bull's-eye, 1 over Capricornus a lobster, over Aquarius 
a goose, over Pisces two mullets. . In the middle lay 
a honeycomb on a sod of turf with the green grass on 
it. An Egyptian boy took bread round in a silver 
chafing-dish. . . . 

Trimalchio himself too ground out a tune from the 

1 The meaning is uncertain. The word is probably derived 
from oculus, "an eye,** and petere, "to seek.'' See Lewis 
and Short s.v. ocliferius. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
mimo canticum extorsit. Nos ut tristiores ad tarn 

36 viles accessimus cibos, Suadeo" inquit Trimalchio 
"cenemus; hoc est ius cenae.'T Haec ut dixit, ad 
symphoniam quattuor tripudiantes procurrerunt su- 
perioremque partem repositorii abstulerunt. Quo 
facto videmus infra [scilicet in altero ferculo] altilia 
et sumina leporemque in medio pinnis subornatum, 
ut Pegasus videretur. Notavimus etiam circa angulos 
repositorii Marsyas quattuor, ex quorum utriculis 
garum piperatum currebat super pisces, qui tanquam 
in euripo natabant. Damus omnes plausum a familia 
inceptum et res electissimas ridentes aggredimur. 
Non minus et Trimalchio eiusmodi methodio laetus 
" Carpe" inquit. Processit statim scissor et ad sym- 
phoniam gesticulatus ita laceravit obsonium, ut putares 
essedarium hydraule cantante pugnare. Ingerebat ni- 
hilo minus Trimal chio lentissima voce : Carpe, Carpe. ' ' 
Ego suspicatus ad aliquam urbanitatem totiens itera- 
tam vocem pertinere, non erubui eum qui supra me 
accumbebat, hoc ipsum interrogare. At ille, qui 
saepius eiusmodi ludos spectaverat, Vides ilium' ' 
inquit "qui obsonium carpit: Carpus vocatur. Itaque 
quotiescunque dicit Carpe,' eodem verbo et vocat 
et imperat." 

37 Non potui amplius quicquam gustare, sed conversus 
ad eum, ut quam plurima exciperem, longe accersere 
fabulas coepi.sciscitarique, quae esset mulier ilia, quae 
hue atque illuc discurreret. Uxor" inquit Trimal- 
chionis, Fortunata appellatur, quae nummos modio 

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SATYRICON 

musical comedy Assafoetida " in a most hideous voice. 
We came to such an evil entertainment rather de- 
pressed. "Now," said Trimalchio, "let us have S6 
dinner. This is sauce for the dinner/' As he spoke, 
four dancers ran up in time with the music and took 
off the top part of the dish. Then we saw in the 
well of it fat fowls and sow's bellies, and in the middle 
a hare got up with wings to look like Pegasus. Four 
figures of Marsyas at the corners of the dish also /^ 
caught the eye ; they let a spiced sauce run from their 
wine-skins over the fishes, which swam about in a kind 
of tide-race. We all took up the clapping which the 
slaves started, and attacked these delicacies with hearty 
laughter. Trimalchio was delighted with the trick 
he had* played us, and said, "Now, Carver." The man 
came up at once, and making flourishes in time with 
the music pulled the dish to pieces ; you would have 
said that a gladiator in a chariot was fighting to the 
accompaniment of a water-organ. Still Trimalchio kept 
on in a soft voice, Oh, Carver, Carver." I thought this 
word over and over again must be part of a joke, and 
I made bold to ask the man who sat next me this very 
question. He had seen performances of this kind 
more often. You see the fellow who is carving his 
way through the meat? Well, his name is Carver. 
So whenever Trimalchio says the word, you have his 
name, and he has his orders." x .. .. ' i ■" 

I was now unable to eat any more, so I turned to 37 
my neighbour to get as much news as possible. I 
began to seek for far-fetched stories, and to inquire 
who the woman was who kept running about every- 
where. "She is Trimalchio's wife Fortunata," he said, 

1 Trimalchio's pun on his servant's name is expressed in 
Lowe's translation by "Carver^carve 'er." 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
metitur. Et modo, modo quid fuit? Ignoscet mihi 
genius tuus, noluisses de manu illius panem accipere. 
Nunc, nee quid nee quare, in caelum abiit et Trimal- 
chionis topanta 1 est. Ad summam, mero meridie si 

H dixerit illi tenebras esse, credet. | Ipse nescit quid 
habeat, adeo saplutus 2 est; sed haec lupatria providet 
omnia et ubi non putes. Est sicca, sobria, bonorum 
consiliorum [tantum auri vides], est tamen malae lin- 
guae, pica pulvinaris. Quern amat, amat; quern non 
amat, non amat. Ipse Trimalchio fundos habet, qua 
milvi volant, nummorum nummos. Argentum in 
ostiarii illius cella plus iacet, quam quisquam in for- 
tunis habet. Familia vero babae babae, 8 non meher- 
cules puto decumam partem esse quae dominum suum 

38 noverit. Ad summam, quemvis ex istis babaecalis in 
rutae folium coniciet. Nee est quod putes ilium quic- 
quam emere. Omnia domi nascuntur : lana,' credrae, 
piper, lacte gallinaceum si quaesieris, invenies. Ad 

1 Topanta is colloquial for the Greek rb. tAvto, " all" 

2 Saplutus is the Greek fdirXowoj "very rich." 

8 Babae babae is an exclamation of surprise. So babaecalis 
in the next sentence is a person always agape with wonder ■, 
a lout. 

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SATYRICON 
and she counts her money by the bushel. And what 
was she a little while ago ? You will pardon me if I 
say that you would not have taken a piece of bread 
from her hand. Now without why or wherefore she 
is queen of Heaven, and Trimalchio's all in all. In 
fact, if she tells him that it is dark at high noon, he will 
believe it. He is so enormously rich that he does not 
know himself what he has a/out this lynx-eyed woman 
has a plan for^everything, even where you would not 
think i t. \ She is temperate, sober, and prudent, but 
she has a nasty tongue, and henpecks him on his own 
sofa. 1 Whom she likes, she likes ; whom she dislikes, 
she dislikes. Trimalchio has estates wherever a kite 
can fly in a day, is millionaire of millionaires. There is 
more plate lying in his steward's room than other 
people have in their whole fortunes. And his slaves ! 
My word ! I really don't believe that one out of ten of 
them knows his master by sight. Why, he can knock 
any of these young louts into a nettle-bed 2 if he chooses. 3 8 
You must not suppose either that he buys anything. 
Everything is home-grown : wool, citrons, pepper ; you 
can have cock's milk for the asking. Why, his wool 

1 The phrase means literally "a magpie belonging to a 
sofa," and clearly refers to domestic tyranny. 

2 In rutae folium coniciet. Literally "will throw into a rue- 
leaf." Rutae folium is said by Friedlander to be a proverbial 
expression for a small space. He refers to Martial xi, 31. 
The phrase occurs again in c. 58. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

summam, parum illi bona lana nascebatur; arietes a 
Tarento emit, et eos culavit in gregem. Mel Atticum 
ut domi nasceretur, apes ab Atjienis iussit afFerri; 
obiter et vernaculae quae sunt, meliusculae a Grae- 
culis fient. Ecce intra hos dies scripsit, ut illi ex 
India semen boletorum mitteretur. Nam mulam 
quidem nullam habet, quae non ex onagro nata sit. 
Vides tot culcitras : nulla non aut conchyliatum aut 
coccineum tomentum habet. Tanta est animi beati- 
tudo. Reliquos autem collibertos eius cave contem- 
nas. Valde sucossi sunt. Vides ilium qui in imo 
imus recumbit: hodie sua octingenta possidet. De 
nihilo crevit. Modo solebat collo suo ligna portare. 
Sed quomodo dicunt — ego nihil | scio, sed audivi — 
quom 1 Incuboni pilleum rapuissetjj [et] thesaurum in- 
venit. Ego nemini invideo, si quid 2 deus dedit. Est 
tamen sub alapa et non vult sibi male. Itaque proxime 
casam 3 hoc titulo proscripsit: ' C. Pompeius Diogenes 
ex kalendis Iuliis cenaculum locat; ipse enim domum 
emit/ Quid ille qui libertini loco iacet, quam bene 
se habuit. Non impropero illi. Sestertium suum 
vidit decies, sed male vacillavit. Non puto ilium 

1 quom Buecheler: quomodo* 

2 quid Buecheler: quo. 

3 casam Buecheler: cum. 
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SATYRICON 

was not growing of fine enough quality. He bought 
rams from Tarentum and sent them into his flocks 
with a smack behind. He had bees brought from 
Athens to give him Attic honey on the premises ; the 
Roman-born bees incidentally will be improved by the 
Greeks. Within the last few days, I may say, he has 
written for a cargo of mushroom spawn from India. 
And he has not got a single mule which is not the 
child of a wild ass. You see all the cushions here : . 
every one has purple or scarlet stuffing. So high is 
his felicity. But do not look down on the other freed- 
men who are his friends. They are very juicy people. 
That one you see lying at the bottom of the end sofa 
has his eight hundred thousand. He. was quite a 
nobody. A little time ago he was carrying loads of 
wood on his back. People do say — I know nothing, 
but I have heard — that he pulled off a goblin's cap 
and found a fairy hoard. 1 If God makes presents I 
am jealous of nobody. Still, he shows the marks of 
his masters fingers, 2 and has a fine opinion of himself. 
So he has just put up a notice on his hovel : This 
attic, the property of Caius Pompeius Diogenes, to 
let from the 1st of July, the owner having purchased 
a house/ That person there too who is lying in 
the freedman's place 3 is well pleased with himself. 
I do not blame him. He had his million in his hands, 
but he has had a bad shaking. I believe he cannot call 

1 Incubo was a goblin who guarded hid treasure. If one 
stole his cap, he was compelled to reveal the treasure. 

2 On setting: a slave free the master gave him a slap as a 
symbol of his former power over him. 

8 Apparently a recognized place at table was assigned to a 
freedman invited to dine with free men. Its position is not 
known. ■ 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
capillos liberos habere, nee mehercules sua culpa; 
ipso enim homo melior non est; sed liberti scelerati, 
qui omnia ad se fecerunt. Scito autem: sociorum 
olla male fervet, et ubi semel res inclinata est, amici 
de medio. Et quam honestam negotiationem exercuit, 
quod ilium sic vides. Libitinarius fait. Solebat sic 
cenare, quomodo rex : apros gausapatos, opera pistoria, 
avis, cocos, pistores. Plus vini sub mensa eflunde- 
batur, quam aliquis in cella habet. Phantasia, non 
homo. Inclinatis quoque rebus suis, cum timeret ne 
creditores ilium conturbare existimarent,, hoc titulo 
auctionem pr'oscripsit : "C. Iulius Proculus auctionem 
faciet rerum super vacuarum." 
39 Interpellavit tarn dulces fabulas Trimalchio; nam 
iam sublatum erat ferculum, hilaresque convivae vino 
sermonibusque publicatis operam coeperant dare. Is 
ergo reclinatus in cubitum Hoe vinum " inquit vos 
oportet suave faciatis. Pisces natare oportet. Rogo, 
me putatis ilia cena esse contentum, quam in theca 
repositorii videratis? Sic notus Vlixes?' quid ergo 
est ? Oportet etiam inter cenandum philologiam nosse. 
Patrono meo ossa bene quiescant, qui me hominem 
inter homines voluit esse. Nam mihi nihil novi potest 
afFerri, sicut ille fericulus iam 1 habuit praxim. Caelus 
hie, in quo duodecim dii habitant, in totidem se figuras 
convertit, et modo fit aries. Itaque quisquis nascitur 
illo signo, multa pecora habet, multum lanae, caput 
. 2 fericulus iam Buecheler : fericulusta mel. 
60 



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SATYRICON 

his hair his own. No fault of his I am sure ; there 
is no better fellow alive ; but it is the damned freed- 
men who have pocketed everything. You |oiow how 
it is: the company's pot goes off the boil, and the 
moment business takes a bad turn your friends desert 
you. You see him in this state : and what a fine trade 
he drove ! / He was an undertaker. He used to dine 
like a prince: boars cooked in a cloth, wonderful 
sweet things, game, chefs and confectioners ! There 
used to be more wine spilt under the table than many 
a man has in his cellars. He was a fairy prince, not 
a mortal. When his business was failing, and he was 
afraid his creditors might guess that he was going 
bankrupt, he advertised a sale in this fashion : ' Caius 
Julius Proculus will offer for sale some articles for 
which he has no further use." 

Trimalchio interrupted these delightful tales ; the 39 
meat had now been removed, and the cheerful company 
began to turn their attention to the wine, and to 
general conversation. He lay back on his couch and 
said: Now you must make this wine go down 
pleasantly. A fish must have something to swim in. 
But I say, did you suppose I would put up with the 
dinner you saw on the top part of that round dish — 
" Is this the old Ulysses whom ye knew ? " * — well, well, 
one must not forget one's culture even at dinner. 
God rest the bones of my patron ; he wanted me to 
be a man among men. No one can bring me anything 
new, as that last dish proved! The firmament where 
the twelve gods inhabit turns into as many figures, 
and at one time becomes a ram. So anyone who 
is born under that sign has plenty of flocks and wool, 

1 See Virgil, AZneid, II, 44. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

praeterea durum, frontem expudoratam, cornum acu- 
tum. Plurimi hoc signo scholastici nascuntur et arie- 
tilli." 1 Laudamus urbanitatem mathematici ; itaque 
adiecit: "deinde totus caelus taurulus fit. Itaque 
tunc calcitrosi nascuntur et bubulci et qui se ipsi 
pascunt. In geminis autem nascuntur bigae et boves 
et colei et qui utrosque parietes linunt. In cancro 
ego natus sum. Ideo multis pedibus sto, et in mari 
et in terra multa possideo ; nam cancer et hoc et illoc 
quadrat. Et ideo iam dudum nihil super ilium posui, 
ne genesim meam premerem. In leone cataphagae 
nascuntur et imperiosi ; in virgine mulieres et fugitivi 
et compediti ; in libra laniones et unguentarii et qui- 
cunque aliquid expediunt; in scorpione venenarii et 
percussores ; in sagittario strabones, quiholeraspectant, 
lardum tollunt ; in capricorno aerumnosi, quibus prae 
mala sua cornua nascuntur ; in aquario copones et cu- 
'curbitae; in piscibus obsonatores et rhetores. Sic 
orbis vertitur tanquam mola, et semper aliquid mali 
facit, ut homines aut nascantur aut pereant. Quod 
autem in medio caespitem videtis et supra caespitem 
favum, nihil sine ratione facio. terra mater est in 
medio quasi ovum corrotundata, et omnia bona in se 
habet tanquam favus." 
40 Sophos" universi clamamus et sublatis manibus 

ad cameram iuramus Hipparchum Aratumque com- 

1 arietilli Heinsius : arieti illi. 
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SATYRICON 

afcard head and a brazen forehead and sharp horns. 
^Very many pedants and young rams are born under 
this sign." We applauded the elegance of his astrology, 
and so he went on : Then the whole sky changes into 
a young bull. So men who are free with their heels are 
born now, and oxherds and people who have to find 
their own food. Under the Twins tandems are born, and 
oxen, and debauchees, and those who sit on both sides of 
the fence. 1 I was born under the Crab. So I have many 
legs to stand on, and many possessions by sea and land ; 
for either one or the other suits your crab. And that 
was why just now I put nothing on top of the Crab, for 
fear of weighing down the house of my birth. Under the 
Lion gluttons and masterful men are born; under Virgo 
women, and runaway slaves, and chained gangs; 
under Libra butchers, and perfumers, and generally 
people who put things to rights ; poisoners and assassins 
under Scorpio ; under Sagittarius cross-eyed men, 
who take the bacon while they look at the vegetables ; 
under Capricornus the poor folk whose troubles make 
horns sprout on them ; under Aquarius inn- 
keepers and men with water on the brain ; under 
Pisces chefs and rhetoricians. So the world turns like 
a mill, and always brings some evil Jbo pass, causing 
the birth of men or their death. You saw the green 
turf in the middle of the dish, and the honeycomb on 
the turf; I do nothing without a reason. Mother 
Earth lies in the world's midst rounded like an egg, 
and in her all blessings are contained as in a honey- 
comb." 

" Bravo!" we all cried, swearing with our hands 40 
lifted to the ceiling that Hipparchus and Aratus 

1 Literally "those who bedaub walls on both sides,*' i.e. 
those who " hedge" in fight or friendship. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

parandos illi homines non fuisse, donee advenerunt 
ministri ac toralia praeposuerunt tons, in quibus retia 
erant picta subsessoresque cum venabulis et totus 
venationis apparatus. Necdum sciebamus, quo mittere- 
mus suspiciones nostras, cum extra triclinium clamor 
sublatus est ingens, et ecce canes Laconici etiam circa 
mensam discurrere coeperunt. Secutum est hos re- 
positorium, in quo positus erat primae magnitudinis 
aper, et quidem pilleatus, e cuius dentibus sportellae 
dependebant duae palmulis textae, altera caryotis v 
altera thebaicis repleta. Circa autem minores porcelli 
ex coptoplacentis facti, quasi uberibus imminerent, 
v scrofam esse positam significabant. Et hi quidem 
apophoreti fuerunt. Ceterum ad scindendum aprum 
non ille Carpus accessit, qui altilia laceraverat, sed 
barbatus ingens, fascjis cruralibus alligatus et alicula 
subornatus polymita, strictoque venatorio cultro latus 
apri vehementer percussik, ex cuius plaga turdi evo- 
laverunt. Parati aucupes cum harundinious fuerunt 
et eos circa triclinium volitantes momento exceperunt 
Inde cum suum cuique iussisset referri Trimalchio, 
adiecit : " Etiam videte, quam porcus ille silvaticus 
lotam 1 comederit glandem. M Statim pueri ad sportellas 
accesserunt, quae pendebant e dentibus, thebaicasque 
et caryotas ad numerum divisere. cenantibus. , 
41 Interim ego, qui privatum habebam secessum, in 
multas cogitationes deductus sum, quare aper pilleatus 
intrasset. Postquam itaque omnis bacalusias consumpsi, 

1 lotam Muncker: totam. 
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SATYRICON 

were not to be compared with him, until the servants 
came and spread over the couches coverlets painted 
with nets, and men lying in wait with hunting spears, 
and all the instruments of the chase. We were still 
wondering where to turn our expectations, when a 
great shout was raised outside the dining-room, and 
in came some Spartan hounds too, and began run- 
ning round the table. A tray was brought in after 
them with a wild boar of the largest size upon it, 
wearing a cap of freedom, with two little baskets woven 
of palm-twigs hanging from his tusks, one full of dry 
dates and the other of fresh. Round it lay sucking- 
pigs made of simnel cake . with their mouths to the 
teats, thereby showing that we had a sow before us. 
These sucking-pigs were for the guests totake away. 
Carver, who had mangled the fowls, did not come to 
divide the boar, but a big bearded man with bands 
wound round his legs, and a spangled hunting-coat of 
damasked silk, who drew a hunting-knife and plunged 
it hard into the boars side. A number of thrushes flew 
out at the blow. As they fluttered round the dining-room 
there were fowlers ready with limed twigs who caught 
them in a moment. Trimalchio ordered everybody to be 
given his own portion, and added : Now you see whaj 
fine acorns the woodland boar has been eating." Then 
boys came and took the baskets which hung from her ^j* 
jaws and distributed fresh and dry dates to the guestsy r^ 
Meantime I had got a quiet corner to myself, and had 41 
gone off on a long train of speculation, — why the pig 
had come in with a cap of freedom on. After turning 
the problem over every way l I ventured to put the 

1 Bacalusias may be derived from baceolus (Gk j3dicrj\os) a 
blockhead, and ludere, hence meaning perhaps " every kind 
of foolish explanation of the riddle." 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

duravi interrogare ilium interpretem meum, quod * me 
torqueret. At ille : Plane etiam hoc servus tuus indi- 
care potest ; non enim aenigma est, sed res aperta. Hie 
aper, cum heri summacenaeum 2 vindicasset, a convivis 
dimissus est ; itaque hodie tanquam libertus in convi- 
vium revertitur." Damnavi ego stuporem meum et 
nihil amplius interrogavi, ne viderer nunquam inter 
honestos cenasse. 

Dum haec loquimur, puer speciosus, vitibus hederis- 
que redimitus, modo Bromium, interdum Lyaeum 
Euhiumque confessus, calathisco uvas circumtulit et 
poemata domini sui acutissima voce traduxit. Ad 
quem sonum conversus Trimalchio Dionyse " inquit 
liber esto." Puer detraxit pilleum apro capitique 
suo imposuit. Turn Trimalchio rursus adiecit : Non 
negabitis me" inquit habere Liberum patrem." 
Laudavimus dictum Trimalchionis et circumeuntem 
puerum sane perbasiamus. 

Ab hoc ferculo Trimalchio ad lasanum surrexit. 
Nos libertatem sine tyranno nacti coepimus invitaVe 
convivarum sermones. Dama 3 itaque primus cum pata- 
racina poposcisset, Diei" inquit ' nihil est. Dum 
versas te, nox fit. Itaque nihil est melius, quam de 
cubiculo recta in triclinium ire. Et mundum frigus 
habuimus. Vix me balneus calfecit Tamen cal^a 
potio vestiarius est. Staminatas duxi, et plane mAtus 
sum. Vinus mihi in cerebrum abiit." 



1 quod B uecheler: quid. 
2 cena eum Buecheler: cenam. 
3 Damas He in si us ; clamat, 



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SATYRICON 

question which was troubling me to my old informant. 

Your humble servant can explain that too ;"he said, 

there is no riddle, the thing is quite plain. Yesterday 
when this animal appeared as piece de resistance at 
dinner, the guests dismissed him; and so to-day he 
comes back to dinner as a freedman." I cursed 
my dullness and asked no more questions, for fear of 
showing that I had never dined among decent people^ 

As we were speaking, a beautiful boy with vine- 
leaves and ivy in his hair brought round grapes in a 
little basket, impersonating Bacchus in ecstasy, Bacchus 
full of wine, Bacchus dreaming, and rendering his 
master's verses in a most shrill voice. Trimalchio turned 
round at the noise and said, Dionysus, rise and be 
free." The boy took the cap of freedom off the boar, 
and put it on his head. Then Trimalchio went on : 
" I am sure you will agree that the god of liberation 
is my father." 1 We applauded Trimalchio* s phrase, and 
kissed the boy heartily as he went round. 
S After this dish Trimalchio got up and retired. 
With the tyrant away we had our freedom, and we 
began to draw the conversation of our neighbours. 
Dama began after calling for bumpers : Day is 
nothing. Night is on you before you can turn round. 
Then there is no better plan than going straight out 
of bed to dinner. It is precious cold. I could scarcely 
get warm in a bath. • But a hot drink is as good as an 
overcoat. I have taken some deep drinks 2 . and I am 
quite soaked. The wine has gone to my head.'*^" 

' * The name of the god Liber was fancifully derivcfa from 
the fact that wine frees men from cares. Trimalchio, who 
confers freedom upon slaves, therefore takes him as his 
patron or father. 

2 Staminatas means a draught of unmixed wine. The word 
is variously derived from the. Greek ardfivot or the Latin stamen. 

F2 67 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

42 Excepit Seleucus fabulae partem et "Ego" inquit 
non cotidie lavor ; baliscus enim fullo est, aqua dentes 

habet, et cor nostrum cotidie liquescit. Sed cum 
mulsi pultarium obduxi, frigori laecasin dico. Nee 
sane lavare potui ; fui enim hodie in funus. Homo 
bellus, tam bonus Chrysanthus animam ebulliit. 
Modo, modo me appellavit. Videor mihi cum illo 
loqui. Heu, eheu. Utres inflati ambulamus. Mino- 
ris quam muscae sumus, muscae tamen aliquam vir- 
tutem habent, nos non pluris sumus quam bullae. Et 
quid si non abstinax fuisset. Quinque dies aquam in 
os suum non coniecit, non micam panis. Tamen abiit 
ad plures. Medici ilium perdiderunt, immo magis 
malus fatus ; medicus enim nihil aliud est quam animi 
consolatio. Tamen bene elatus est, vitali lecto, 
stragulis bonis. Planctus est optime — manu misit 
aliquot — etiam si maligne ilium ploravit uxor. Quid 
si non illam optime accepisset. Sed mulier quae mulier 
milvinum genus. Neminem nihil boni facere oportet ; 
aeque est enim ac si in puteum conicias. Sed antiquus 
amor cancer est." 

43 Molestus fuit, Philerosque proclamavit : " Vivorum 
meminerimus. Ille habet, quod sibi debebatur : 
honeste vixit, honeste obiit. Quid habet quod que- 
ratur ? Ab asse crevit et paratus fuit quadrantem de 
stercore mordicus tollere. Itaque crevit, quicquid 
crevit, tan quam favus. Puto mehercules ilium reliquisse 

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SATYRICON 

r Seleucus took up the tale and said : " I do not wash 42 
every day; the bathman pulls you to pieces like a 
fuller, the water bites, and the heart of man melts 
away daily. But when I have put down some draughts 
of mead I let the cold go to the devil. 1 Besides, 
I could not wash ; I was at a funeral to-day .^A fine 
fellow, the excellent Chrysanthus, has breathed his 
last. It was but the other day he greeted me. I feel 
as if I were speaking with him now. Dear, dear, how 
we bladders of wind strut about. We are meaner 
than flies ; flies have their virtues, we are nothing but 
bubbles. And what would have happened if he had 
not tried the fasting cure ? No water touched his 
lips for five days, not a morsel of bread. Yet he went 
over to the majority. The doctors killed him — no, it 
was his unhappy destiny ; a doctor is nothing but a sop 
to conscience. Still, he was carried out in fine style on 
a bier covered with a good pall. The mourning was 
very good too— he had freed a number of slaves — even 
.. though his own wife was very grudging over her tears. 
I daresay he did not treat her particularly kindly. But 
women one and all are a set of vultures. It is no use 
doing anyone a kindness; it is all the same as if you 
put your kindness in a well. But an old love pinches 
like a crab." * 

He was a bore, and Phileros shouted out : € Oh, let 43 
us remember the living. He has got his deserts ; he 
lived decently and died decently. What has he got to 
grumble at? He started with twopence, and he was 
always ready to pick a halfpenny out of the dirt 
with his teeth. So he grew and grew like a honey- 
comb. Upon my word, I believe he left a clear hundred 

1 Laecasin is from the Greek Xetx<ii"ftv, Latin fellare, sensu 
obsceno. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

solida centum, et omnia in nummis habuit. De re 
tamen ego verum dicam, qui linguam caninam comedi : 
durae buccae fuit, linguosus, discordia, non homo. 
Frater eius fortis fuit, amicus amico, manu plena, 
uncta 1 mensa. Et inter initia malam parram pilavit, sed 
recorrexit costas illius prima vindemia : vendidit enim 
vinum, quanti 2 ipse voluit. Et quod illius mentum 
sustulit, hereditatem accepit, ex qua plus involavit, 
quam illi relictum est. Et ille stips, dum fratri suo 
irascitur, nescio cui terrae filio patrimonium elegavit. 
Longe fugit, quisquis suos fugit. Habuit autem oricula- 

HL rios 8 servos, qui ilium pessum dederunt. | Nunquam 

L autem recte faciet, qui cito credit, | utique homo 

negotians. Tamen verum quod frunitus est, quam diu 

vixit, 4 cui datum est, non cui destinatum. 

Plane Fortunae Alius, in manu illius plumbum aurum 
fiebat. Facile est autem, ubi omnia quadrata currunt. 
Et quot putas ilium annos secum tulisse ? Septuaginta 
et supra. Sed corneolus fuit, aetatem bene ferebat, 
niger tanquam corvus. Npveram hominem olim olio- 
rum et adhuc salax erat. Non mehercules ilium puto 
in domo canem reliquisse. Immo etiam pullarius 5 erat, 
omnis minervae homo. Nee improbo, hoc solum enim 
secum tulit." 

44 Haec Pliileros dixit, ilia Ganymedes: 'narratis 

quod nee ad caelum nee ad terrain pertinet, cum 

interim nemo curat, quid annona mordet. Non me- 

1 plena uncta Heinsius : uncta plena. 

9 quanti Scheffer: quantum. 

8 oricularios Reinesius: oracularios. 

4 Some words such as bene vixit have clearly dropped out. 

8 pullarius Burmann : peullarius 

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SATYRICON 

thousand, and all in hard cash. Still, I have eaten the 
dog's tongue, I must speak the truth. He had a rough 
mouth, and talked continually, and was more of a 
discord than a man. His brother was a fine fellow, 
stood by his friends, open-handed and kept a good 
table. To begin with, he caught a Tartar: 1 but his 
first vintage set him on his feet : he used to get any * j 
price he asked for his winej And what made him^^ 
hold up his head was that he came into an estate out 
of which he got more than had been left to him. And 
that blockhead, in a fit of passion with his brother, left 
the family property away to some nobody or other. 
He that flies from his own family has far to travel. But 
he had some eaves-dropping slaves who did for him. A 
man who is always ready to believe what is told him 
will never do well, especially a business man. Still 
no doubt he enjoyed himself every day of his life. 
Blessed is he who gets the gift, not he for whom it is 
meant. He was a real Fortune's darling, lead turned 
gold in his hands. Yes, it is easy when everything 
goes fair and square. And how many years do you 
think he had on his shoulders ? Seventy and more. 
But he was a tough old thing, carried his age well, as 
black as a crow. I had known him world without end, 
and he was still merry. I really do not think he spared 
a single creature in his house. No, he was still a gay 
one, ready for anything. Well, I do not blame him : 
it is only his past pleasures he can take with him." 

So said Phileros, but Ganymede broke in : * You go 44 
talking about things which are neither in heaven nor 
earth, and* none of you care all the time how the 
price of food pinches. I swear I cannot get hold 

1 Literally " he plucked a bad magpie." The magpie was 
considered a bird of ill omen : Horace, Odes Hi, 27. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

hercules hodie buccam panis invenire potui. Et quo- 
modo siccitas perseverat. lam annum esuritio fuit. 
Aediles male eveniat, qui cum pistoribus colludunt 
Serva me, servabo te.' Itaque populus minutus 
laborat; nam isti maiores maxillae semper Saturnalia 
agunt. O si haberemus illos leones, quos ego hie inveni, 
cum primum ex Asia veni. Illud erat vivere. Simila 
si siligine inferior esset, 1 laruas sic istos percolopa- 
bant, ut illis Iupiter iratus esset. [Sed] memini Safi- 
nium : tunc habitabat ad arcum veterem, me puero, 
piper, non homo. Is quacunque ibat, terrain adurebat. 
Sed rectus, sed certus, amicus amico, cum quo auda- 
cter posses intenebris micare. In curia autem quomodo 
singulos [vel] pilabat [tractabat], nee schemas loque- 
batur sed derectum. 2 Cum ageret porro in foro, sic illius 
vox crescebat tanquam tuba. Nee sudavit unquam 
nee expuit, puto eum 3 nescio quid Asiadis habuisse. 
Et quam benignus resalutare, nomina omnium reddere, 
tanquam unus de nobis. Itaque illo tempore anno- 
na pro luto erat. Asse panem quem emisses, non 
potuisses cum altera devorare. Nunc oculum bublum 
vidi maiorem. Heu heu, quotidie peius. Haec colonia 
retroversus crescit tanquam coda vituli. Sed quare nos 4 
habemus aedilem trium cauniarum, qui sibi mavult 
assem quam vitam nostram? Itaque domi gaudet, plus 
in die nummorum accipit, quam alter patrimonium 

1 Simila si siligine inferior esset Buecheler: similia sicilia 
interiores et. 

2 derectum Reishe : dilectum. 
8 eum Tilebomenus : enim. 

4 nos Tilebomenus: non. 
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SATYRICON 

of a mouthful of bread to-day. And how the drought 
goes on. There has been a famine for a whole year 
now. Damn the magistrates, who play ' Scratch my 
back, and I'll scratch yours/ in league with the bakers. 
So the little people come off badly ; for the jaws of 
the upper classes are always keeping carnival. I do wish 
we had the bucks I found here when I first came out of 
Asia. That was life. If the flour was any but the finest, 
they beat those vampires into a jelly, until they put the 
fear of God into them. I remember Safinius : he used 
to live then by the old arch when I was a boy. He 
was more of a mustard-pot than a man: used to 
scorch the ground wherever he trod. Still he was 
straight; you could trust him, a true friend: you 
would not be afraid to play at morra 1 with him in the 
dark. How he used to dress them down in the senate- 
house, every one of them, never using roundabout 
phrases, making a straightforward attack. And when he 
was pleading in the courts, his voice use'd to swell like 
a trumpet. Never any sweating or spitting : I imagine 
he had a touch of the Asiatic style. And how kindly 
he returned one's greeting, calling every one by name 
quite like one of ourselves. So at that time food was 
dirt-cheap. You could buy a larger loaf for twopence 
than you and your better half together could get 
through. One sees a bun bigger now. Lord, things are 
worse everyday. This town goes downhill like the calf s 
tail. But why do we put up with a magistrate not worth 
three pepper-corns, who cares more about putting two- 
pence in his purse than keeping us alive? He sits 
grinning at home, and pockets more money a day than 

1 In the game Morra one party held up a number of fingers 
and the other had to guess what the number was. A man 
who could play it in the dark would be a miracle. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

habet. lam scio, unde acceperit denarios mille aureos. 
Sed si nos coleos haberemus, non tan turn sibi placeret. 
Nunc populus est domi leones, foras vulpes. Quod ad 
me attinet, iam pannos meos comedi, et si perseverat 
haec annona, casulas meas vendam. Quid enim fu- 
turum est, si nee dii nee homines huius coloniae 
miserentur? Ita meos fruniscar, ut ego puto omnia 

HL ilia a diibus * fieri. | Nemo enim caelum caelum putat, 
nemo ieiunium servat, nemo Iovem pili facit, sed 
H omnes opertis oculis bona sua computant. | Antea 
stolatae ibant nudis pedibus in clivum, passis capillis, 
mentibus puris, et Iovem aquam exorabant. Itaque 
statim urceatim plovebat : aut tunc aut nunquam : et 
omnes redibant udi 2 tanquam mures. Itaque dii pedes 
lanatos habent, quia nos religiosi non sumus. Agri 
iacent" — 

45 ' Oro te " inquit Echion centonarius melius loquere. 
Mpdo sic, modo sic ' inquit rusticus ; varium porcum 

HL perdiderat. | Quod hodie non est, eras erit : sic vita 
H truditur. | Non mehercules patria melior dici potest, 
si homines haberet. Sed laborat hoc tempore, nee 
haec sola. Non debemus delicati esse, ubique medius 
caelus est. Tu si aliubi fueris, dices hie porcos coctos 
ambulare. Et ecce habituri sumus munus exeellente 
in triduo die festa ; familia non lanisticia, sed plurimi 
liberti. Et Titus noster magnum animum habet et est 
caldicerebrius : aut hoc aut illud erit, quid 8 utique. 

'a diibus Buecheler: aedilibus, 

2 redibant Jacobs: ridebant udi Triller; ut dii, 

3 quid Heinsius : quod. 

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SATYRICON 

other people have for a fortune. I happen to know 
where he came by a thousand in gold. If we had any 
spunk in us he would not be so pleased with himself. 
Nowadays people are lions in their own houses, and 
foxes out of doors. I have already eaten my rags, 
and if these prices keep up, I shall have to sell my cot- 
tages. Whatever is to happen if neither the gods nor 
man will take pity on this town ? As I hope to have joy 
of my children, I believe all these things come from 
Heaven. For no one now believes that the gods are 
gods. There is no fasting done, no one cares a button for 
religion : they all shut their eyes and count their own 
goods. In old days the mothers in their best robes 
used to climb the hill with bare feet and loose hair, 
pure in spirit, and pray Jupiter to send rain. Then it 
used promptly to rain by the bucket : it was now or 
never : and they all came home, wet as drowned rats. 
As it is, the gods are gouty in the feet because we 
are sceptics. So our fields lie baking — " * 

Oh, don't be so gloomy," said Echion, the old 45 
clothes dealer. * There's ups and there's downs,' as 
the country bumpkin said when he lost his spotted pig. 
What is not to-day, will be to-morrow : so we trudge 
through life. I engage you could not name a better 
country to call one's own, if only the men in it had sense. 
It has its troubles now like others. We must not be too 
particular when there is a sky above us all. If you 
were anywhere else, you would say that roast pork 
walked in the streets here. Just think, we are soon 
to be given a superb spectacle lasting three days ; not 
simply a troupe of professional gladiators, but a large 
number of them freedmen. And our good Titus has a 
big imagination and is hot-blooded : it will be one 
thing or another, something real anyway. I know him 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

Nam illi domesticus sum, non est miscix. Ferrum 
optimum daturus est, sine fuga, carnarium in medio, 
ut amphitheater videat. Et habet unde : relictum est 
illi sestertium tricenties, decessit illius pater male. 
Ut quadringenta impendat, non sentiet patrimonium 
illius, et sempiterno nominabitur. lam Manios aliquot 
habet et mulierem essedariam et dispensatorem Gly- 
conis, qui deprehensus est, cum dominam suam dele- 
ctaretur. Videbis populi rixam inter zelotypos et 
amasiunculos. Glyco autem, sestertiarius homo, dis- 
pensatorem ad bestias dedit. Hoc est se ipsum tra- 
ducere. Quid servus peccavit, qui coactus est facere ? 
Magis ilia matella digna fuit quam taurus iactaret. 
Sed qui asinum non potest, stratum caedit. Quid 
autem Glyco putabat Hermogenis filicem unquam 
bonum exitum facturam? Hie milvo volanti poterat 
ungues resecare ; colubra restem non parit. Glyco, 
Glyco dedit suas ; itaque quamdiu vixerit, habebit sti- 
gmam, nee illam nisi Orcus delebit. Sed sibi quisque 
peccat. Sed subolfacio, quod nobis epulum daturus 
est Mammaea, binos denarios mihi et meis. Quod si 
hoc fecerit, eripiat Norbano totum favorem. Scias 
oportet plenis yen's hunc vinciturum. Et revera, quid 
ille nobis boni fecit? Dedit gladiatores sestertiarios 
iam decrepitos, quos si sufflasses, cecidissent; iam 
meliores bestiarios vidi. Occidit de lucerna equites, 
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SATYRICON 

very well, and he is all against half-measures. He 
will give you the finest blades, no running away, but- 
chery done in the middle, where the whole audience 
can see it. And he has the wherewithal; he came 
into thirty million when his father came to grief. If 
he spends four hundred thousand, his estate will never 
feel it, and his name will live for ever. He has already 
collected some clowns, and a woman to fight from 
a chariot, and Glyco' s steward, who was caught 
amusing Glyeo's wife. You will see the crowd quarrel, 
jealous husbands against gallants. A twopenny half- 
penny fellow like Glyco goes throwing his steward 
to the beasts. He only gives himself away. It is not 
the slave's fault; he had to do as he was told. That 
filthy wife of his rather deserved to be tossed by 
the bull. But a man who cannot beat his donkey, 
beats the saddle. ^~"How did Glyco suppose that a 
sprig of Hermogenes's sowing would ever come to a 
good end? ' He was one for paring the claws of a kite 
on the wing, and you do not gather figs from thistles. 1 
Glyco? why, Glyco has given away his own flesh 
and blood. He will be branded as long as he lives, 
and nothing but death will wipe it 6ut r But a man 
must have his faults. My nose prophesies a good 
meal from Mammaea,' twopence each for me and mine. 
% If he does, he will put Norbanus 2 quite in^ the shagleJ 
x ^¥ou know he will beat him hands down. After all, 
what has Norbanus ever done for us ? He produced 
some decayed twopenny-halfpenny gladiators, who 
would have fallen flat if you breathed on them ; I have 
seen better ruffians turned in to fight the wild beasts. 
He shed the blood of some mounted infantry that might 

1 Literally " a viper does not bring- forth a rope." 

2 A prosperous lawyer; see c. 46. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
putares eos gallos gallinaceos ; alter burdubasta, alter 
loripes, tertiarius mortuus pro mortuo, qui habebat 1 
nervia praecisa. Unus alicuius flaturae fuit Thraex, 
qui et ipse ad dictata pugnavit. Ad summam, omnes 
postea secti sunt; adeo de magna turba 'adhibete' 
acceperant, plane fugae merae. ' Munus tamen ' inquit 
'tibi dedi': et ego tibi plodo. Computa, et tibi plus 
do quam accepi. Manus manum lavat. Videris mihi, 
46 Agamemnon, dicere : 'Quid iste argutat molestus?' 
quia tu, qui potes loquere, non loquis. 2 Non es nostrae 
fasciae, et ideo pauperorum verba derides. Scimus te 
pi^e litteras fatuum esse. Quid ergo est? aliqua die 
te persuadeam, ut ad villam venias et videas casulas 
nostras ? Inveniemus quod manducemus, pullum, ova : 
/kelle erit, etiam si omnia hoc anno tempestas dispare 
pallavit : inveniemus ergo unde saturi fiamus. Et iam 
tibi discipulus crescit cicaro meus. Iam quattuor partis 
dicit; si vixerit, habebis ad latus servulum. Nam 
quiequid illi vacat, caput de tabula non tollit. Ingeni- 
osus est et bono filo, etiam si in aves morbosus est. 
Ego illi iam tres cardeles occidi, et dixi quod mustella 
comedit. Invenit tamen alias nenias, et libentisshne 
pingit. Ceterum iam Graeculis calcem impingit et 
Latinas coepit non male appetere, etiam si magister 
eius sibi placens fit 8 nee uno loco consistit, sed venit, 

1 habebat Buecheler: habet. 

2 loquis Burmann : loqui. 
3 fit Buecheler: sit. 

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SATYR1C0N 

have come off a lamp ; dunghill cocks you would have 
called them : one a spavined mule, the other bandy- 
legged, and the holder of the bye, just one corpse 
instead of another, and hamstrung. One man, a 
Thracian, had some stuffing, but he too fought accord- 
ing to the rule of the schools. In short, they were all 
flogged afterwards. How the great crowd roared at 
them, Lay it on* ! They were mere runaways, to be 
sure. ' Still/ says Norbanus, I did give you a treat/ 
Yes, and I clap my hands at you. Reckon it up, and 
I give you more than I got. One good turn de- 
serves another. Now, Agamemnon, you look as if you 46 
were # saying, ' What is this bore chattering for?' Only 
because you have the gift of tongues and do not speak. 
You do not come off our shelf, and so you make fun 
of the way we poor men talk. We know you are mad 
with much learning. But I tell you what ; can I per- 
suade you to come down to my place some day andlsee"] 
my little property? We shall find something to eat, a I 
chicken and eggs : it will be delightful, even though 
the weather this year has made everything grow at 
the wrong time : we shall find something to fill our- 
selves up with. My little boy is growing into a follower 
of yours already. He can do simple division now ; if 
he lives, you will have a little servant at your heels. 
Whenever he has any spare time, he never lifts his 
nose from the slate. He is clever, and comes of a good 
stock, even though he is too fond of birds. I killed 
three of his goldfinches just lately, and said a weasel 
had eaten them. But he has found some other hobby, 
and has taken to painting with great pleasure. He has 
made a hole in his Greek now, and begins to relish 
Latin finely, even though his master is conceited and 
will not stick to one thing at a time. The boy comes 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

dem litteras, sed non vult laborare. Est et alter non 
quidem doctus, sed curiosus, qui plus docet quam scit. 
Itaque feriatis diebus solet domum venire, et quicquid 
dederis, contentus est. Emi ergo nunc puero aliquot 
libra rubricata, quia volo ilium ad domusionem aliquid 
de iure gustare. Habet haec res panem. Nam litteris 
satis inquinatus est. Quod si resilierit, destinavi ilium 
artificii docere, aut tonstreinum 1 aut praeconem aut 
certe causidicum, quod illi auferre non possit nisi 
Orcus. Ideo illi cotidie clamo: Primigeni, crede 
mihi, quicquid discis, tibi discis. Vides Phileronem 
causidicum : si non didicisset, hodie famem a labris non 
abigeret. Modo,modo collo suo circumferebat onera ve- 
nalia, nunc ejbiam adversus Norbanum se extendit. Lit- 
terae thesaurum est, et artificium nunquam moritur.' " 
47 Eiusmodi fabulae vibrabant, cum Trimalchio intra- 
vit et/detersa fronte unguento manus lavit spatioque 
minimo interposito Ignoscite mihi ,> inquit ^amici, 
multis iam diebus venter mihi non respondit. Nee 
medici se inveniunt. Profuitmihi tamen malicorium 2 
et taeda ex aceto. Spero tamen, iam veterem 8 pudo- 
rem sibi imponet. Alioquin circa stomachum mihi 
sonat, putes taurum. Itaque si quis vestrum voluerit 
sua re [causa] 4 facere, non est quod ilium pudeatur. 
Nemo nostrum solide natus est. Ego nullum puto tarn 
magnum tormentum esse quam continere. Hoc so- 

1 tonstrinum Scheffer; constreinum. 

2 malicorium Scheffer: maleicorum. 

3 veterem Heinsius ; ventrem. 

4 causa bracketed by Scheffer, • 

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SATYRICON 

asking me to give him some writing to do, though he 
does not want to work. I have another boy who is 
no scholar, but very inquiring, and can teach you 
more than he knows himself. -So on holidays he 
generally comes home, and is -quite pleased whatever 
you give him. I bought the child some books with 
red-letter headings in them a little time ago. I 
want him to have a smack of law in order to manage 
the property. Law has bread and butter in it. He 
has dipped quite deep enough into literature. If he 
is restless, I mean to have him learn a trade, a barber 
or an auctioneer, or at least a barrister, something 
that he can carry to the grave with him. So I drum 
it into him every day : Mark my words, Primigenius, 
whatever you learn, you learn for your own good. 
Look at Phileros, the barrister : if he had not worked, 
he would not be keeping the wolf from the door to- 
day. It is not so long since he used to carry things 
round on his back and sell them, and now he makes a 
brave show even against Norbanus. Yes, education is 
a treasure, and culture never dies.' " 

Gossip of this kind was in the air, when Trimalchio 47 
came in mopping his brow, and washed his hands in 
scent. After a short pause, he said, Ypu will excuse 
me, gentlemen? My bowels have not been working 
for several days. All the doctors are puzzled. Still, 
I found pomegranate rind useful, and pine wood boiled 
in vinegar. I hope now my stomach will learn to ob- 
serve its old decencies. Besides, I have such rumblings 
inside me you would think there was a bull there. So if 
any of you gentlemen wishes to retire there is no need 
to be shy about it. We were none of us born quite 
solid. I cannot imagine any torture like holding one- 
self in. The one thing Jupiter himself cannot forbid 
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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

lum vetare ne Iovis potest. Rides, Fortunata, quae 
soles me nocte desomnem facere? Nee tamen in tri- 
clinio ullum vetuo 1 facere quod se iuvet, et medici 
vetant continere. Vel si quid plus venit, omnia foras 
parata sunt : aqua, lasani et cetera minutalia. Credite 
mihi, anathymiasis in cerebrum it et in toto corpore 
fluctum facit. Multos scio sic periisse, dum nolunt 
sibi verum dicere." Gratias agimus liberalitati indul- 
gentiaeque eius, et subinde castigamus crebris poti- 
unculis risumJUNec adhuc sciebamus nos in medio 
\lautitiarumL quod 2 aiunt, clivo laborare. Nam cum 
mundatis ad symphoniam mensis tres albi sues in tri- 
clinium adducti sunt capistris et tintinnabulis culti, 
quorum unum bimum nomenculator esse dicebat, alte- 
rum trimum, tertium vero iam sexennem, 3 ego putabam 
petauristarios intrasse et porcos, sicut in circulis mos 
est, portenta aliqua facturos ; sed Trimalchio expecta- 
tione discussa Quern" inquit "ex eis vultis in ce- j 
nam statim fieri? gallum enim gallinaceum, penthi- J 
acum et eiusmodi nenias rustici faciunt: mei coci ' 
etiam vitulos aeno coctos solent facere." Continuoque 
cocum vocari iussit, et non expectata electione nostra \ 
maximum natu iussit occidi, et clara voce : " Ex quota 
decuria es?" Cum ille se ex quadragesima respondis- 
set, Empticius an" inquit 'domi natus?" "Neu- 
trum" inquit cocus sed testamento Pansae tibi 
relictus sum." "Vide ergo " ait "ut diligenter ponas ; 

1 vetuo Buecheler: vetui. 

2 quod Heinsius: quo. 
8 sexennem Wehl: senem. 

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SATYRICON 

is that we should have relief. Why do you laugh, 
Fortunata; it is you who are always keeping me 
awake all night. Of course, as far as I am concerned, 
anyone may relieve himself in the dining-room. The 
doctors forbid retention. But if the matter is serious, 
everything is ready outside : water, towels, and all the 
other little comforts. Take my word for it, vapours 
go to the brain and make a disturbance throughout the 
body. I know many people have died this way, by 
refusing to admit the truth to themselves." We 
thanked him for his generosity and kindness, and 
then tried to suppress our laughter by drinking hard 
and fast. We did not yet realize that we had only 
got halfway through the delicacies, and still had an 
uphill task before us, as they say. The tables were 
cleared to the sound of music, and three white pigs, 
adorned with muzzles and bells, were led into the 
dining-room. One was two years old, the keeper 
said, the second three, and the other as much as six. 
! 1 1 thought some ropewalkers had come in, and that the 
pigs would perform some wonderful tricks, as they do 
for crowds in the streets. Trimalchio ended our sus- 
pense by saying, Now, which of them would you like 
[turned into a dinner this minute ? Any country hand can 
urn out a fowl or a Pentheus 1 hash, or trifles of that 
ind. My cooks are quite used to serving whole calves 
one in a cauldron." Then he told them to fetch a cook 
t once, and without waiting for our opinion ordered 
;he eldest pig to be killed, and said in a loud voice, 
Which division of the household do you belong to? " 
'he man said he came from the fortieth. Were you 
urchased or born on the estate?" " Neither; I was 
eft to you under Pansa's will." " Well then," said 
1 Pentheus, king of Thebes, wag torn in pieces by the Bacchae. 
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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

si non, te iubebo in decuriam viatorum conici." Et 
48 cocum quidem potentiae admonitum in culinam obso- 
nium duxit, Trimalchio autem mihi ad nos vultu 
respexit et " Vinum " inquit si non placet, mutabo ; 
vos illud oportet bonum faciatis. Deorum bene- 
ficio non emo, sed nunc quicquid ad salivam facit, in 
suburbano nascitur eo, quod ego adhuc non novi. 
Dicitur confine esse Tarraciniensibus et Tarentinis. 
Nunc coniungere agellis Siciliam volo, ut cum Africam 
libuerit ire, per meos fines navigem. Sed narra tu mihi, 
Agamemnon, quam controversiam hodie declamasti? 
Ego etiam 1 si causas non ago, in domusionem 2 tamen 
litteras didici. Et ne me putes studia fastiditum, 
II 3 bybliothecas habeo, unam Graecam, alteram Lati- 
nam. Die ergo, si me amas, peristasim declamationis 
tuae." Cum dixisset Agamemnon : 'Pauper et dives 
inimici erant," ait Trimalchio 'Quid est pauper?" 

Urbane" inquit Agamemnon et nescio quam con- 
troversiam exposuit. Statim Trimalchio Hoc " inquit 

si factum est, controversia non est; si factum non 
est, nihil est." Haec aliaque cum emisissimis prose- 
queremur laudationibus, " Rogo " inquit Agamemnon 
mihi carissime, numquid duodecim aerumnas Herculis 
tenes, aut de Vlixe fabulam, quemadmodum illi Cy- 
clops pollicem forcipe 4 extorsit? Solebam haec ego 
puer apud Homerum legere. Nam Sibyllam quidem 
Cumis ego ipse oculis meis vidi in ampulla pendere, 

1 etiam Wehl: autem. 
•domusionem Wehl: divisione. 
8 II Tilebo menus: tres. 
4 forcipe Buecheler: poricino. 

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SATYRICON 

Trimalchio, mind you serve this carefully, or I will 
have you degraded to the messengers' division." So 
the cook was reminded of his master's power, and the 48 
dish that was to be carried him off to the kitchen. Tri- 
malchio turned to us with a mild expression and said, 
" I will change the wine if you do not like it. You will 
have to give it its virtues. Under God's providence, I 
do not have to buy it. Anything here which makes 
your mouths water is grown on a country estate of 
mine which I know nothing about as yet. I believe 
it is on the boundary of Terracina and Tarentum. 
Just now I want to join up all Sicily with properties 
of mine, so that if I take a fancy to go to Africa I 
shall travel through my own land. But do tell me, 
Agamemnon, what declamation 1 did you deliver in 
school to-day? Of course, I do not practise in 
court myself, but I learned literature for domestic 
purposes. And do not imagine that I despise learn- 
ing. I have got two libraries, one Greek and one 
Latin. So give me an outline of your speech, if you 
love me." Then Agamemnon said: A poor man and 
a rich man were once at enmity.' ' ' But what is a 
poor man?" Trimalchio replied. " Very clever," said 
Agamemnon, and went on expounding some problem 
or other. Trimalchio at once retorted : ' If the thing 
really happened, there is no problem ; if it never hap- 
pened, it is all nonsense." We followed up this and 
other sallies with the most extravagant admiration. 
" Tell me, dear Agamemnon,' ' said Trimalchio, do you 
know anything of the twelve labours of Hercules, or the 
story of Ulysses and how the Cyclops twisted his thumb 
with the tongs ? I used to read these things in Homer 
when I was a boy. Yes, and I myself with my own 
1 Controversia is a declamation on a controversial theme. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

et cum illi pueri dicerent: ScjSvAAa, ri OiXtis; re- 
spondebat ilia: airo$avuv Oikta." 
49 Nondum efflaverat omnia, cum repositorium cum 
sue ingenti mensam occupavit. Mirari nos celeritatem 
coepimus et iurare, ne gallum quidem gallinaceum 
tarn cito percoqui potuisse, tanto quidem magis, quod 
longe maior nobis porcus videbatur esse, quam paulo 
ante aper fuerat. Deinde magis magisque Trimalchio 
intuens eum Quid? quid?" inquit " porcus hie non 
est exinteratus? Non mehercules est. Vbca, voca 
cocum in medio." Cum constitisset ad mensam cocus 
tristis et diceret se oblitum esse exinterare, "quid? 
oblitus?" Trimalchio exclamat Putes ilium piper 
et cuminum non coniecisse. Despolia." Non fit 
mora, despoliatur cocus atque inter duos tortores 
maestus consistit. Deprecari tamen omnes coeperunt 
et dicere: "Solet iieri; rogamus, mittas; postea si 
fecerit, nemo nostrum pro illo rogabit." Ego, crude- 
lissimae severitatis, non potui me tenere, sed inclina- 
tus ad aurem Agamemnonis plane" inquam "hie 
debet ? servus esse nequissimus; aliquis oblivisceretur 
porcum exinterare ? Non mehercules illi ignoscerem, 
si piscem praeterisset." At non Trimajchio, qui re- 
laxato in hilaritatem vultu Ergo" inquit quia tana 
malae memoriae es, palam nobis ilium exintera." 
Recepta cocus tunica cultrum arripuit porcique ven- 
trem hinc atque illinctimida manu secuit. Nee mora, 
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SATYRICON 

eyes saw the Sibyl hanging in a cage ; and when the 
boys cried at her: Sibyl, Sibyl, what do you want?' 
I would that I were dead,' she used to answer." 1 

He had still more talk to puff out, when the table 49 
was filled by a dish holding an enormous pig. We 
began to express astonishment at such speed, and 
took our oath that not even a fowl could have been 
properly cooked in the time, especially as the pig 
seemed to us to be much bigger than the boar had 
been a little while earlier. Trimalchio looked at it 
more and more closely and then said, "What, what, 
has not this pig been gutted? I swear it has not. 
The cook, send the cook up here to us." The poor 
cook came and stood by the_table and said that he 
had forgotten to gut it. " What? Forgotten?" shouted 
Trimalchio. ' You would think the fellow had only 
forgotten to season it with pepper and cummin. Off 
with his shirt!" In a moment the cook was stripped 
and stood dolefully between two executioners. Then we 
all began to beg him off and say : These things will 
happen ; do let him go ; if he does it again none of us 
will say a word for him." I was as stiff and stern as 
could be ; I could not restrain mvself, but leaned over 
and said in Agamemnon's ear : This must be a most 
wretched servant ; how could anyone forget to gut a 
pig? On my oath I would not forgive him if he had 
let a fish go like that." But Trimalchio' s face softened 
into smiles. "Well," he said, * if your memory is so 
bad, clean him here in front of us." The cook put 
on his shirt, seized a knife, and carved the pig's belly 
in various places with a shaking hand. At once the 

1 Sibyls were said to live to a great age ; their mummies 
continued to be exhibited after their death. A confusion with 
the myth of Tithonus, who was turned into a grasshopper. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

ex plagis ponderis inclinatione crescentibus tomacula 
cum botulis effusa sunt. 
50 Plausum post hoc automatum familia dedit et "' Gaio 
feliciter" conclamavit. Nee non cocus potione hono- 
ratus est et argentea corona, poculumque in lance 
accepit Corinthia. Quam cum Agamemnon propius 
consideraret, ait Trimalchio : Solus sum qui vera Co- 
rinthea habeam." Expectabam, ut pro reliqua inso- 
lentia diceret sibi vasa Corintho afferri. Sed ille melius : 
"Et forsitan" inquit quaeris, quare solus Corinthea 
vera possideam: quia scilicet aerarius, a quo emo, 
Corinthus vocatur. Quid est autem Corintheum, nisi 
quis Corinthum habet? Et ne me putetis nesapium 
esse, valde bene scio, unde primum Corinthea nata 
sint. Cum Ilium captum est, Hannibal, homo vafer 
et magnus stelio, 1 omnes statuas aeneas et aureas et 
argenteas in unum rogum congessit et eas incendit; 
factae sunt in unum aera miscellanea. Ita ex hac 
massa fabri sustulerunt et fecerunt catilla et paropsides 
et statuncula. Sic Corinthea nata sunt, ex omnibus 
in unum, nee hoc nee illud. Ignoscetis mihi, quod 
dixero : ego malo mihi vitrea, certe non olunt. 2 Quod 
51 si non frangerentur, mallem mihi quam aurum; nunc 
autem vilia sunt. Fuit tamen faber qui fecit phialam 
vitream, quae non frangebatur. Admissus ergo Cae- 
sarem est cum suo munere, deinde fecit reporrigere 
Caesarem 8 et illam in pavimentum proiecit. Caesar non 
pote valdius quam expavit. At ille sustulit phialam 

1 steiio Heinsius : scelio. 

2 non olunt Buecheler: nolunt. 
8 Caesarem Scheffer: Caesari. 

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SATYRICON 

slits widened under the pressure from within, and 
sausages and black puddings tumbled out. 

At this the slaves burst into spontaneous applause 50 
and shouted, "God bless Gams!" The cook too 
was rewarded with a drink and a silver crown, and 
was handed the cup on a Corinthian dish. Agamemnon 
began to peer at the dish rather closely,and Trimal- 
chio said, ' I am the sole owner of genuine Corinthian 
plate." I thought he would declare with his usual 
effrontery that he had cups imported direct from 
Corinth. But he went one better : ' You may perhaps 
inquire," said he, how Lcgme to be alone in having 
genuine Corinthian stuff: the obvious reason is that 
the name of the dealer * I buy it from is Corinthus. 
But what is real Corinthian, unless a man has Corinthus 
at his back ? Do not imagine that I am an ignoramus. 
I know perfectly well how Corinthian plate was first 
brought into the world. At the fall of Ilium, 
Hannibal, a trickster and a great knave, collected all 
the sculptures, bronze, gold, and silver, into a single 
pile, and set light to them. They all melted into one 
amalgam of bronze. The workmen took bits out of 
this lump and made plates and entree dishes and 
statuettes. That is how Corinthian metal was born, 
from all sorts lumped together, neither one kind nor 
the other. You will forgive me if I say that personally 
I prefer glass; glass at least does not smell. If it 
were not so breakable I should prefer it to gold ; as it 
is, it is so cheap. But there was once a workman who 51 
made a glass cup that was unbreakable. So he was 
given an audience of the Emperor with his invention ; 
he made Caesar give it back to him and then threw 
it on the floor. Caesar was as frightened as could be. 
But the man picked up his cup from the ground: it 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

de terra ; collisa erat tanquam vasum aeneum ; deinde 
martiolum de sinu protulit et phialam otio belle cor- 
rexit. Hoc facto putabat se solium 1 Iovis tenere, 
utique postquam Caesar 2 illi dixit : ' Numquid alius scit 
hanc condituram vitreorum ? ' vide modo. Postquam 
negavit, iussit ilium Caesar decollari: quia enim, si 
scitum esset, aurum pro luto haberemus. In argento 
52 plane studiosus sum. Habeo scyphos urnales plus 
minus C : quemadmodum Cassandra occidit filios suos, 
et pueri mortui iacent sic ut vivere 3 putes. Habeo 
capides 4 M, quas reliquit patrono meo Mummius/ ubi 
Daedalus Niobam in equum Troianum includit. Nam 
Hermerotis pugnas et Petraitis in poculis habeo, 
omnia ponderosa ; meum enim intelligere nulla pecunia 
vendo." 

Haec dum refert, puer calicem proiecit. Ad quern 
respiciens Trimalchio "Cito" inquit "te ipsum caede, 
quia nugax es." Statim puer demisso labro orare. 
At ille Quid me" inquit rogas? Tanquam ego tibi 
molestus sim. Suadeo, a te impetres, ne sis nugax." 
Tandem ergo exoratus a nobis missionem dedit puero. 
Ille dimissus circa mensam percucurrit . . . 

et Aquam foras, vinum intro" clamavit . . . 
excipimus urbanitatem iocantis, et ante omnes Aga- 
memnon, qui sciebat, quibus meritis revocaretur ad 

1 solium Heinsius: coleum. 

9 Caesar added by Buecheler, 

8 sic ut vivere Heinsius : sicuti vere. 

4 capides M Buecheler: capidem. 

5 patrono meo Mummius Buecheler: patronorum meus* 

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SATYRICON 

was dinted like a bronze bowl ; then he took a little 
hammer out of his pocket and made the cup quite 
sound again without any trouble. After doing this 
he thought he had himself seated on the thjJM^dtf- „ 
Jupiter, especially when Caesar said to hmJp^Boes 
anyone else know how to blow glass like this? ' Just 
see what happened. He said not, and then Caesar 
had him beheaded. Why? Because if his invention 
were generally known we should treat gold like dirt. 
Myself I have a great passion for silver. I own about 52 
a hundred four-gallon cups engraved with Cassandra 
killing her children, and they lying there dead in the 
most lifelike way. I have a thousand jugs which Mum- 
mius 1 left to my patron, and on them you see Dae- 
dalus shutting Niobe into the Trojan horse. And I 
have got the fights between Hermeros and Petraites* 
on my cups, and every cup is a heavy one ; for I do 
not sell my connoisseurship for any money." 

As he was speaking, a boy dropped a cup. Trimal- 
chio looked at him and said, "Quick, off with your own 
head, since you are so stupid." The boy's lip fell 
and he began to petition. " Why do you ask me ? ' ' said 
Trimalchio, "as if I should be hard on you! I advise 
you to prevail upon yourself not to be stupid." In 
the end we induced him to let the boy off. As soon 
as he was forgiven the boy ran round the table. . . . 

Then Trimalchio shouted, "Out with water! In 
with wine ! " . . . We took up the joke, especially Aga- 
memnon, who knew how to earn a second invitation 

x The name is suggested by the previous references to 
Corinth. L. Mummius Achaicus captured and sacked Corinth 
in 146 B.C. 

3 Celebrated gladiators of the period. Trimalchio in c. 71 
orders the fights of Petraites to be depicted on his tomb. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

cenam. Ceterum laudatus Trimalchio hilarius bibit 

et iam ebrio proximus Nemo" inquit vestrum rogat 

Fortunatam meam ; ut saltet? Credite mihi: cordacem . 

* nemo melius dueit." 

Atque ipse erectis supra frontem manibus SyTum 

histrionem exhibebat concinente tota familia: /xaSeta 

irepindSeta. Et prodisset in medium, nisi Fortunata 

ad aurem accessisset; [et] credo, dixerit non decere 

gravitatem eius tarn humiles ineptias. Nihil autem 

tarn inaequale erat ; nam modo Fortunatam verebatur, 

modo ad naturam suam revertebatur. 1 

53 Et plane interpellavit saltationis libidinem actua- 

rius, qui tanquam urbis acta recitavit : VII. kalendas 

sextiles: in praedio Cumano, quod est Trimalchionis, 

nati sunt pueri xxx, puellae xl; sublata in horreum 

ex area tritici millia modium quingenta ; boves domiti 

quingenti. Eodem die : Mithridates servus in crucem 

actus est, quia Gai nostri genio male dixerat. Eodem 

die : in arcam relatum est, quod collocari non potuit, 

sestertium centies. Eodem die: incendium factum 

est in hortis Pompeianis, ortum ex aedibus Nastae 

vilici." "Quid?" inquit Trimalchio quando mihi 

Pompeiani horti empti sunt?" Anno priore" inquit 

actuarius et ideo in rationem nondum venerunt." 

Excanduit Trimalchio et "Quicunque" inquit "mihi 

fundi empti fuerint, nisi intra sextum mensem sciero, 

1 fortunatam suam revertebatur modo ad naturam MSS. , 
corrected by Heinsius and Buecheler, 

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SATYRICON 

to dinner. Trimalchio warmed to his drinking under 
our flattery, and was almost drunk when he said: 
None of you ask dear Fortunata to dance. I tell 
you no one can dance the cancan better." He then 
lifted his hands above his head and gave us the actor 
Syrus, while all the slaves sang in chorus : 

M adeia ! 
Perimadeia! 1 

And Trimalchio would have come out into the middle 
of the room if Fortunata had not whispered in his ear. 
I suppose she told him that such low fooling was 
beneath his dignity. But never was anything so 
variable ; at one moment he was afraid of Fortunata, 
and then he would return to his natural self. 

But a clerk quite interrupted his passion for the 53 
dance by reading as though from the gazette: "July 
the 26th. Thirty boys and forty girls were born on 
Trimalchio' s estate at Cumae. Five hundred thou- 
sand pecks of wheat were taken up from the thresh- 
ing-floor into the barn. Five hundred oxen were 
broken in. On the same date: the slave Mith- 
ridates was led to crucifixion for having damned 
the soul of our lord Gaius. On the same date : ten 
million sesterces which could not be invested were 
returned to the reserve. On the same day: there 
was a fire in our gardens at Pompeii, which broke out 
in the house of Nasta the bailiff." Stop/' said Tri- 
malchio, "When did I buy any gardens at Pompeii?". 
"Last year," said the clerk, so that they are not 
entered in your accounts yet." Trimalchio glowed 
with passion, and said, " I will not have any property 
which is bought in my name entered in my accounts 

1 The meaning of these words is uncertain. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

in rationes meas inferri vetuo." lam etiam edicta 
aedilium recitabantur et saltuariorum testamenta, qui- 
bus Trimalchio cum elogio exheredabatur ; iam nomina 
vilicorum et repudiata a circitore liberta in balneatoris 
contubernio deprehensa et atriensis Baias relegatus; 
iam reus factus dispensator et iudicium inter cubicu- 
larios actum. 

Petauristarii autem tandem venerunt. Baro insul- 
sissimus cum scalis constitit puerumque iussit per 
gradus et in summa parte odaria saltare, circulos 
deinde ardentes transilire 1 et dentibus amphoram sus- 
tinere. Mirabatur haec solus Trimalchio dicebatque 
ingratum artificium esse. Ceterum duo esse in rebus 
humanis, quae libentissime spectaret, petauristarios et 
cornicines; 3 reliqua [animalia] 3 acroamata tricas me- 
ras esse. "Nam et comoedos" inquit "emeram, sed 
malui illos Atellaniam 4 facere, et choraulen meum 
iussi Latine cantare. ,, 
54 Cum maxime haec dicente Gaio puer 5 .... Tri- 
malchionis delapsus est. Conclamavit familia, nee 
minus convivae, non propter hominem tarn putidum, 
cuius et cervices fractas libenter vidissent, sed propter 
malum exitum cenae, ne necesse haberent alienum 
mortuum plorare. Ipse Trimalchio cum graviter in- 
gemuisset superque brachium tanquam laesum incu- 
buisset, concurrere medici, et inter primos Fortunata 
crinibus passis cum scypho, miseramque se atque infe- 

1 transilire Heinsitis : transire. 

2 cornicines Heinsitis: cornices. 

8 animalia bracketed by Buecheler. 

4 Atellaniam Buecheler: atellam. 

5 Some words such as in brachium have clearly fallen out, 

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SATYRICON 

unless I hear of it within six months." \^e now had 
a further recitation of police notices, and some forest- 
ers' wills, in which Trimalchio was cut out in a codicil ; 
then the names of bailiffs, and of a freed-woman who 
had been caught with a bathman and divorced 
by her husband, a night watchman; the name of a 
porter who had been banished to Baiae ; the name of 
a steward who was being prosecuted, and details of 
an action between some valets. 

But at last the acrobats came in. A very dull fool 
stood there with a ladder and made a boy dance from 
rung .to rung and on the very top to the music of popu- 
lar airs, and then made him hop through burning hoops, 
and pick up a wine jar with his teeth. No one was 
excited by this but Trimalchio, who kept saying that 
it was a thankless profession. There were only two 
things in the world that he could watch with real 
pleasure, acrobats and trumpeters; all other shows 
were silly nonsense. Why," said he, I once bought 
a Greek comedy company, but I preferred them to do 
Atellane plays, and I told my flute-player to have 
Latin songs." 

Just as Trimalchio was speaking the boy slipped 54 
and fell [against his arm]. The slaves raised a cry, and 
so did the guests, not over a disgusting creature whose 
neck they would have been glad to see broken, but 
because it would have been a gloomy finish to the 
dinner to have to shed tears over the death of a per- 
fect stranger. Trimalchio groaned aloud, and nursed 
his arm as if it was hurt. Doctors rushed up, and 
among the first Fortunata, with her hair down, and a 
cup in her hand, calling out what a poor unhappy 

1 Native Latin comedy as opposed to comoedia pallia fa, 
which was translated or adapted from the Greek. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

licem proclamavit. Nam puer quidem, qui ceciderat, 
circumibat iam dudum pedes nostros et missionem 
rogabat. Pessime mihi erat, ne his precibus per ridi- 
culum 1 aliquid catastropha quaereretur. Nee enim 
adhuc exciderat cocus ille, qui oblitus fuerat porcum 
exinterare. Itaque totum circumspicere triclinium 
coepi, ne per parietem automatum aliquod exiret, 
utique postquam servus verberari coepit, qui brachium 
domini contusum alba potius quam conchyliata invol- 
verat lana. Nee longe aberravit suspicio mea; in 
vicem enim poenae 2 venit decretum Trimalchionis, quo 
puerum iussit liberum esse, ne quis posset dicere, 
tantum virum esse a servo vulneratum. 8 
55 HLO/H | Comprobamus nos factum | et quam in praecipiti 

HLO res humanae essent, | vario sermone garrimus. | 
ff"lta" inquit Trimalchio "non oportet hunc casum 
sine inscriptione transire" statimque codicillos popo- 
scit et non diu cogitatione distorta haec recitavit : 
HL | "Quod non expectes, ex transverso fit ... . 4 
— et supra nos Fortuna negotia curat. 
H | quare da nobis vina Falerna, puer." 

HLO ab hoc epigrammate | coepit poetarum esse mentio 
diuque summa carminis penes Mopsum Thracem me-. 
morata est donee Trimalchio " Rogo ' ' inquit magister, 
quid putas inter Ciceronem et Publilium interesse? 
Ego alterum puto disertiorem fuisse, alterum honesti- 
orem. Quid enim his melius dici potest? 

1 per ridiculum Buecheler: periculo. 

2 poenae Hadrianides : cenae. 
'vulneratum Scheffer : liberatum. 

4 Heinsius would supply ubique, nostra, to fill the gap be- 
tween fit and et. 

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SATYRICON 

woman she was. The creature who had fallen down 
was crawling round at our feet by this time, and 
begging for mercy. I was very much afraid that his 
petition was leading up to some comic surprise. The 
cook who had forgotten to gut the pig had not yet 
faded from my recollection. So I began looking all 
round the dining-room, in case any clockwork toy 
should jump out of the wall, especially after they had 
begun to beat a servant for dressing the bruise on his 
master's arm with white wool instead of purple. And 
my suspicions were not far out. Instead of punish- 
ment there came Trimalchio's decree that he should 
be made a free man, for fear anyone might be able 
to say that our hero had been wounded by a 
slave. 

We applauded his action, and made small talk in 55 
different phrases about the uncertainty of man's affairs. 
"Ah," said Trimalchio, "then we should not let this 
occasion slip without a record." And he called at 
once for paper, and after very brief reflection de- 
claimed these halting verses : 

"What men do not look for turns about and comes 
to pass. And high over us Fortune directs our affairs. 
Wherefore, slave, hand us Falernian wine." 

A discussion of poetry arose out of this epigram, and 
for a long time it was maintained that Mopsus of 
Thrace held the crown of song in his hand, until Tri- 
malchio said, Now, I ask you as a scholar, how would 
you compare Cicero and Publilius ? 1 In my opinion 
the first has more eloquence, the second more beauty. 
For what could be better written than these lines ? 

1 Publilius is Publilius Syrus, a famous writer of farce. It 
is not certain whether the verses which follow are actually 
by him or not. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 



ftC-n 



Luxuriae rictu Martis marcent moenia. 
Tuo palato clausus pavo pascitur 1 
plumato amictus aureo Babylonico, 
gallina tibi Numidica, tibi gallus spado ; 
ciconia etiam, grata peregrina hospita 
pietaticultrix gracilipes crotalistria, 
avis exul hiemis, titulus tepidi temporis, 
nequitiae nidum in caccabo fecit modo. 2 
Quo margarita cara tibi, bacam Indicam ? 3 
An ut matrona ornata phaleris pelagiis 
tollat pedes indomita in strato extraneo ? 
Zmaragdum ad quam rem viridem, pretio- 

sum.vitrum? 
Quo Carcliedonios optas ignes lapideos, 
nisi ut scintillet probitas e carbunculis ? 4 
Aequum est induere nuptam ventum textilem, 
palam prostare nudam in nebula linea?' 
56 H I Quod autem ' ' inquit " putamus secundum litteras 
difficillimum esse artificium? Ego puto medicum et 
nummularium : medicus, qui scit quid homunciones 
intra praecordia sua habeant et quando febris veniat, 
etiam si illos odi pessime, quod mihi iubent saepe 
anatinam parari ; nummularius, qui per argentum aes 
videt. Nam mutae bestiae laboriosissimae boves et 
oves: boves, quorum beneficio panem manducamus; 
oves, quod lana illae nos gloriosos faciunt. Et facinus 
indignum, aliquis ovillam est et tunicam habet. Apes 
enim ego divinas bestias puto, quae mel vomunt, etiam 
HL si dicuntur illud a love afferre ; | ideo autem pungunt, 
quia ubicunque dulce est, ibi et acidum invenies." 

1 pascitur Scaliger : nascitur. 2 modo Jacobs : meo. 

8 tibi, bacam Indicam. Heinsius: tribaca Indica 
4 e cod. Bernensis : est other MSS. carbunculis Buecheler; 
carbunculus — os or — as. 

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SATYRICON 

The high walls of Mars crumble beneath the gap- 
ing jaws of luxury. To please thy palate the peacock 
in his Babylonian vesture of gilded feathers is prisoned 
and fed, for thee the guinea-fowl, and for thee the 
capon. Even our beloved foreign guest the stork, 
type of parental love, with thin legs and sounding 
rattle, the bird exiled by winter, the harbinger of the 
warm weather, has now built a nest in thine abhorred 
cooking-pot. What are pearls of price, the fruits of 
India, to thee? For thy wife to be adorned with sea- 
spoils when she lies unchecked on a strange man's 
bed? For what, end dost thou require the green 
emerald, the precious crystal, or the fire that lies in 
the jewels of Carthage, save that honesty should shine 
forth from amid the carbuncles ? Thy bride might as 
well clothe herself with a garment of the wind as stand 
forth publicly naked under her clouds of muslin. ' 

"And now," said he, what do we think is the 56 
hardest profession after writing ? I think a doctor's or a 
money-changer's. The doctor's, because he knows what 
poor men have in their insides, and when a fever will 
come — though I detest them specially, because they 
so often order me to live on duck. The money- 
changer's, because he sees the copper under the silver. 
Just so among the dumb animals, oxen and sheep are 
the hardest workers : the oxen, because thanks to the 
oxen we have bread to eat ; the sheep, because their 
wool clothes us in splendour. It is a gross outrage 
when people eat lamb and wear shirts. Yes, and I 
hold the bees to be the most divine insects. They 
vomit honey, although people do say they bring it 
from Jupiter : and they have stings, because wherever 
you have a sweet thing there you will find something 
bitter too." 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
H | lam etiam philosophos de negotio deiciebat, cum 
pittacia in scypho circumferri coeperunt, puerque su- 
per hoc positus officium apophoreta recitavit. "Argen- 
tum sceleratum": allata est perna, super quam 
acetabula erant posita. Cervical": offla collaris 
allata est. ' Serisapia et contumelia" : xerophagi ex 
sapa 1 datae sunt et contus cum malo. Porri et 
persica": flagellum et cultrum accepit; "passeres et 
muscarium" : uvam passam et mel Atticum. Cena- 
toria et forensia" : offlam et tabulas accepit. " Canale 
et pedale": lepus et solea est allata. "Muraena et 
littera": murem cum rana alligata fascemque betae 
accepit. 2 Diu risimus: sexcenta huiusmodi fuerunt, 
quae iam exciderunt memoriae meae. 
57^r Ceterum Ascyltos, intemperantis licentiae, cum 
omnia sublatis manibus eluderet et usque ad lacrimas 
rideret, unus ex conlibertis Trimalchionis excanduit, 
is ipse qui supra me discumbebat, et ' Quid rides " 
inquit ' vervex ? An tibi non placent lautitiae domini 
mei? Tu enim beatior es et convivare melius soles^ 
Ita tutelam huius loci habeam propitiam, ut ego si 
secundum ilium discumberem, iam ill! balatum duxis- 

1 xerophagi ex sapa Ftiedlaender ; aecrophagie saele. 

2 accepit added by Buecheler. 

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SATYRICON 

He was just throwing the philosophers out of work, 
when tickets were carried round in a cup, and a boy 
who was entrusted with this duty read aloud the 
names of the presents for the guests. 1 Tainted 
metal " ; a ham was brought in with a vinegar bottle 
on top of it. " Something soft for the neck " ; a scrap 
of neck-end was put on. " Repenting at leisure and 
obstinate badness" ; we were given biscuits made with 
must, and a thick stick with an apple. Leeks and 
peaches"; he took a scourge and a dagger. "Spar- 
rows and fly-paper' ' ; he picked up some dried grapes 
and a honey-pot. " Evening-dress and outdoor 
clothes"; he handled a piece of meat and some 
note-books. Canal and foot-measure" ; a hare and a 
slipper were introduced. The muraena and a letter " ; 
he took a mouse and a frog tied together, and a bun- 
dle of beetroot. We laughed loud and long : there 
were any number of these jokes, which have now 
escaped my memory. 
^^Ascyltos let himself go completely, threw up his 57 
hands and made fun of everything, and laughed till 
he cried. This annoyed one of Trimalchio's fellow- 
freedmen, the man who was sitting next above me. 
" What are you laughing at, sheep's head?" he said. 

Are our host's good things not good enough for 
you ? I suppose you are richer and used to better 
living ^^Ls I hope to have the spirits of this place on 
my srae, if I had been sitting next him I should have 
put a stopper on his bleating by now. A nice young 

1 Apophoreta are presents for guests to carry away. It 
was customary to hand tickets to them on which riddles con- 
cealing the names of the presents were written. Trimalchio's 
jokes depend upon allusions to likenesses between the words 
in the riddle and the name of the present, and are therefore 
impossible to render in English. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

sem. Bellum pomum, qui rideatur alios; larifuga 
nescio quis, nocturnus, qui non valet lotium suum. 
Ad summam, si circumminxero ilium, nesciet qua fu- 
giat. Non mehercules soleo cito fervere, sed in molle 
carne vermes nascuntur. Ridet. Quid habet quod 
rideat? Numquid pater fetum emit lamna? Eques 
Romanus es : et ego regis Alius. Quare ergo servi- 
visti?' Quia ipse me dedi in servitutem et malui 
civis Romanus esse quam tributarius. Et nunc spero 
me sic vivere, ut nemini iocus sim. Homo inter homi- 
nes sum, capite aperto ambulo; assem aerarium 
nemini debeo; constitutum habui nunquam; nemo 
mihi in foro dixit redde quod debes.' Glebulas 
emi, lamellulas paravi ; viginti ventres pasco et canem ; 
contubernalem meam redemi, ne quis in sinu illius 
manus tergeret ; mille denarios pro capite solvi ; sevir 
gratis factus sum ; spero, sic moriar, ut mortuus non 
erubescam.^nTu autem tarn laboriosus es, ut post te 
non respicias? In alio peduclum vides, in te ricinum 
non vides. Tibi soli ridiclei videmur; ecce magister 
tuus, homo maior natus : placemus illi. Tu lacticulo- 
sus, nee mu nee ma argutas, vasus fictilis, immo lorus 
in aqua, lentior, non melior^'Tu beatior es: bis 
prande, bis cena. Ego fidem meam malo quam the- 
sauros. Ad summam, quisquam me bis poposcit? 
Annis quadraginta servivi; nemo tamen sciit, utrum 
servus essem an liber. Et puer capillatus in hanc 
coloniam veni ; adhuc basilica non erat facta. Dedi 
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SATYR1CON 

shaver to laugh at other people ! Some vagabond fly- 
by-night not worth his salt. In fact, when I've done 
with him he won't know where to take refuge. Upon 
my word, I am not easily annoyed as a rule, but in 
rotten flesh worms will breed. He laughs. What has 
he got to laugh about ? Did his father pay solid gold 
for him when he was a baby? A Roman knight, are 
you? Well, I am a king's son. ' Then why have 
you been a slave?' Because I went into service to 
please myself, and preferred being a Roman citizen to 
going on paying taxes as a provincial. And now I 
hope I live such a life that no one can jeer at me. I 
am a man among men; I walk about bare-headed; I 
owe nobody a brass farthing; I have never been in 
the Courts ; no one has ever said to me in public, 'Pay 
me what you owe me.' I have bought a few acres and 
collected a little capital ; I have to feed twenty bellies 
and a dog : I ransomed my fellow slave to preserve her 
from indignities ; I paid a thousand silver pennies for my 

own freedom ; I was made a priest of Augustus and ex- n 

cused the fees ; I hope to die so that I need not blush in | 
my grav^But are you so full of business that you have \ 
no time to look behind you? You can see the lice on 
others, but not the bugs on yourself. No one finds us 
comic but you : there is your schoolmaster, older and 
wiser than you : he likes us. You are a child just weaned, 
you cannot squeak out mu or ma, you are a clay-pot, a 
wash-leather in water, softer, not superion/lf you are 
richer, then have two breakfasts and two ainners a day. 
I prefer my reputation t© any riches. One word more. 
Who ever had to speak to me twice ? I was a slave for 
forty years, and nobody knew whether I was a slave 
or free. I was a boy with long curls when I came 
to this place ; they had not built the town-hall then. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

tamen operam, ut domino satis facerem, homini mai- 
iesto 1 et dignitosso, cuius pluris erat unguis, quam tu 
totus es. Et habebam in domo, qui mihi pedem op- 
ponerent hac iliac; tamen — genio illius gratias — 
enatavi. Haec sunt vera athla; nam [inLingenuum 



[inli 



nasci tarn facile est quam ' accede istoc.^Quid nunc 
stupes tanquam hircus in ervilia?^/^ 
58 Post hoc dictum Giton, qui ad pedes stabat, risum 
iam diu compressum etiam indecenter efludit. Quod 
cum animadvertisset adversarius Ascylti, flexit convi- 
cium in puerum et "Tu autem" inquit " etiam tu 
rides, caepa cirrata? 2 Io Saturnalia, rogo, mensis 
december est ? Quando vicesimam numerasti ? Nescit 3 
quid faciat, crucis offla, corvorum cibaria. Curabo, 
iam tibi Iovis iratus sit, et isti qui tibi non imperat. 
Ita satur pane fiam, ut ego istud conliberto meo dono ; 
alioquin iam tibi depraesentiarum reddidissem. Bene 
nos habemus, at isti nugae, 4 qui tibi non imperant. 
Plane qualis dominus, talis et servus. Vix me teneo, nee 5 
sum natura caldicerebrius, sed 6 cum coepi, matrem 
meam dupundii non facio. Recte, videbo te in publi- 
cum, mus, immo terrae tuber : nee sursum nee deorsum 
non cresco, nisi dominum tuum in rutae folium non 
conieci, nee tibi parsero, licet mehercules Iovem 

' maiiesto Buecheler following Muncker: mali isto. 

2 cirrata Reinesius : pirrata. 

s nescit supplied by Buecheler, ' 

4 nugae Buecheler: gtjuge. 

6 nee Jahn: et. 

• caldicerebrius Jahn : caldus cicer eius : sed added 

by Buecheler. 

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SATYRICON 

But I tried to please my master, a fine dignified 
gentleman whose little finger was worth more than 
your whole body. And there were people in the 
house who put out a foot to trip me up here and 
there. But still — God bless my master ! — I struggled 
through. These are real victories^ being born free is 
as easy as saying, ' Come here.'^TJut why do you stare 
at me now like a goat in a field of vetchi^ 

At this remark Giton, who was standing by my 58 
feet, burst out with an unseemly laugh, which he had 
now been holding in for a long while. Ascyltos's 
enemy noticed him, and turned his abuse on to the 
boy. What," he said, are you laughing too, 
you curly-headed onion ? A merry Saturnalia indeed : 
what, have we December here ? When did you pay 
five per cent on your freedom? He doesn't know 
what to do, the gallows-bird, the crows' -meat. I will 
call down the wrath of Jupiter at once on you and the 
fellow who cannot keep you in order. As sure as I 
get my bellyfull, I would have given you what you 
deserve now on the spot, but for my respect for my 
fellow-freedman. We are getting on splendidly, but 
thdse fellows are fools, who don't keep you in hand. 
Yes, like master, like man. I can scarcely hold my- 
self in, and I am not naturally hot-tempered, but 
when I once begin I do not care twopence for my own 
mother. Depend upon it, I shall meet you somewhere 
in public, you rat, you puff-ball. I will not grow an 
inch up or down until I have put your master's head 
in a nettle-bed, 1 and I shall have no mercy on you, I 
can tell you, however much you may call upon Jupiter 
1 Cf. note, p. 57. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

Olympium clames. Curabo, longe tibi sit comula ista 
besalis et dominus dupunduarius. Recte, venies sub 
dentem : aut ego non me novi, aut non deridebis, licet 
barbam auream habeas. Athana tibi irata sit, curabo, 
et qui te primus deurode l fecit. 

Non didici geometrias, critica et alogias nenias, 
sed lapidarias litteras scio, partes centum dico ad aes, 
ad pondus, ad nummum. Ad summam, si quid vis, 
ego et tu sponsiunculam : exi, defero lamnam. 2 lam 
scies patrem tuum mercedes perdidisse, quamvis et 
rhetoricam scis. 3 Ecce 

Qui de nobis 4 longe venio, late venio? solve me.' 
Dicam tibi, qui de nobis currit et de loco non move- 
tur; qui de nobis crescit et minor fit. Curris, stupes, 
satagis, tanquam mus in matella. Ergo aut tace aut 
meliorem noli molestare, qui te natum non pufat; 
nisi si me iudicas anulos buxeos curare, quos amicae 
tuae involasti. Occuponem propitium. Eamus in 
forum et pecunias mutuemur : iam scies hoc . ferrum 

1 devpo By Buecheler: deurode. 

2 lamnam Heinsius: lana. 

3 scis Reiske : scio. 

4 qui de nobis Buecheler; quidem vobis. 
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SATYRICON 

in Olympus. Those pretty eight-inch curls and that 
twopenny master of yours will be no use to you. De- 
pend upon it, you will come under the harrow ; if I 
know my own name you will not laugh any more, 
though you may have a gold beard like a god. I will 
bring down the wrath of Athena on you and the man 
who first made a minion of you. 1 

No, I never learned geometry, and criticism, and 
suchlike nonsense. 2 But I know my tall letters, and I 
can do any sum into pounds, shillings, and pence. In 
fact, if you like, you and I will have a little bet. 
Come on, I put down the metal. Now I will show 
you that your father wasted the fees, even though 
you are a scholar in rhetoric. Look here : 

What part of us am I ? I come far, I come wide. 
Now find me.' 
I can tell you what part of us runs and does not 
move from its place ; what grows out of us and grows 
smaller. 3 Ah! you run about and look scared and 
hustled, like a mouse in a pot. So keep your mouth 
shut, or do not worry your betters who are unaware of 
your existence ; unless you think I have any respect 
for the boxwood rings you stole from your young 
woman. May the God of grab be on my side ! 4 Let 
us go on 'Change and borrow money : then you will 
see that my iron ring commands credit. My word, a' 

1 Deurode is a transliteration of the Greek devpo 5iJ " come 
hither," used of a person trained to be obsequious. 

2 Lit. folly and nursery rhymes. 

3 The answer to these riddles according to Buecheler is 
*' the foot, the eye, and the hair." 

4 Occupo is a goblin who helps people in business, like the 
Lares mentioned in c. 6o. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
fidem habere. Vah, bella res est volpis uda. Ita 
lucrum faciam et ita bene moriar aut populus per 
exitum meiim iuret, nisi te ubique toga perversa fuero 
persecutus. Bella res et iste, qui te haec docet, mu- 
frius, non magister. Nos 1 didicimus, dicebat enim 
magister: Sunt vestra salva? recta domum; cave, 
circumspicias ; cave, maiorem maledicas. Aut nu- 
mera mapalia: nemo dupondii evadit.' Ego, quod 
me sic vides, propter artificium meum diis gratias 
ago/' 
59 Coeperat Ascyltos respondere convicio, sed Trimal- 
chio delectatus colliberti eloquentia Agite" inquit 

scordalias de mgdio. Suaviter sit potius, et tu, 
Hermeros, parce adulescentulo. Sanguen illi fervet, 
HL tu melior esto. | Semper in hac re qui vincitur, vin- 
H cit. I Et tu cum esses capo, cocococo, atque cor non 
habebas. Simus ergo, quod melius est, a primitiis 
- hilares et Homeristas spectemus." Intravit factio 
statim hastisque scuta concrepuit. Ipse Trimalchio 
in pulvino consedit, et cum Homeristae Graecis ver- 
sions colloquerentur, ut insolenter solent, ille canora 
voce Latine legebat librum. Mox silentio facto 

scitis" inquit quam fabulam agant? Diomedes et 
Ganymedes duo fratres fuerunt. Horum soror erat 
Helena. Agamemnon illam rapuit et Dianae cervam 
subiecit. Ita nunc Homeros dicit, quemadmodum 

1 nos added by Jacobs, who read nos magis. 
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SATYRICON 

draggled fox is a fine creature ! I hope I may never get 
rich and make a good end, and have the people swear- 
ing by my death, if I do not put on the black cap 1 and 
hunt you down everywhere. It was a fine fellow who 
taught you to behave like this, too ; a chattering ape, 
not a master. We had some real schooling, for the 
master used to say, € Are all your belongings safe ? Go 
straight home, and don't stop to look round you ; and 
mind you do not abuse your elders. Count up all the 
wastrels, if you like ; not one of them is worth twopence 
in the end.' Yes, I thank God for education; it 
/ made me what I am." 

Ascyltos was preparing a retort to his abuse, but 59 
Trimalchio was delighted with his fellow-freedman's 
readiness, and said, Come now, stop all this wrang- 
ling. It is nicer to go on pleasantly, please do 
not be. hard on the young man, Hermeros. Young 
blood is hot in him ; you must be indulgent A man 
who admits defeat in this kind of quarrel is always the 
winner. And you, too, when you were a young 
cockerel cried Cock-a-doodle-doo! and hadn't any 
sense in your head. So let us do better, and start the 
fun over again, and have a look at these reciters of 
Homer.' * A troop came in at once and clashed 
spear on shield. Trimalchio sat up on his cushion, and 
when the reciters talked to each other in Greek 
verse, as their conceited way is, he intoned Latin from a 
book. Soon there was silence, and then he said, " You 
know the story they are doing? Diomede and Gany- 
mede were two brothers. Helen was their sister. Aga- 
memnon carried her off and took in Diana by sacrific- 
ing a deer to her instead. So Homer is now telling 

1 Toga perversa : a magistrate wore his toga reversed 
when he had to pronounce a capital sentence. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

inter se pugnent Troiani et Parentini. Vicit scilicet 
et Iphigeniam, filiam suam, Achilli dedit uxorem. 
Ob earn rem Aiax insanit et statim argumentum ex- 
plicabit. ,, Haec ut dixit Trimalchio, clamorem , 
Homeristae sustulerunt, interque familiam discur- 
rentem vitulus in lance donaria 1 elixus allatus est, et 
quidem galeatus. Secutus est Aiax strictoque gladio, 
tanquam insaniret, concidit, ac modo versa modo supina 
gesticulatus mucrone frusta collegit mirantibusque 
vitulum partitus est. 
60 Nee diu mirari licuit tarn elegantes strophas; nam 
repente lacunaria sonare coeperunt totimique tricli- 
nium intremuit. Consternatus ego exsurrexi et timui, 
ne per tectum petauristarius aiiquis descenderet. Nee 
minus reliqui convivae mirantes erexere vultus, expie- 
ctantes quid novi de caelo nuntiaretur. Ecce autem 
diductis lacunaribus subito circulus ingens, de cupa 
videlicet grandi excussus, demittitur, cuius per totum 
orbem coronae aureae cum alabastris unguenti pende- 
bant. Dum haec apophoreta iubemur sumere, respi- 
ciens ad mensam ... . 

iam illic repositorium cum placentis aliquot erat posi- 
tum, quod medium Priapus a pistore factus tenebat, 
gremioque satis amplo omnis generis poma et uvas 
sustinebat more vulgato. Avidius ad pompam manus 
porreximus, et repente nova ludorum remissio hilari- 
tatem hie refecit. Omnes enim placentae omniaque 
poma etiam minima vexatione contacta coeperunt 
effundere crocum,. et usque ad os 3 molestus umor ac- 

1 donaria Buecheler: dunaria. 

2 os Buecheler: nos. 
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SATYRICON V 

the tale of the war between Troy and Parentium. 1 Of 
course he won and married his daughter Iphigenia to 
Achilles. That drove Ajax mad, and he will show you 
the story in a minute." As he spoke the heroes raised a 
shout, and the slaves stood back to let a boiled calf on a 
presentation dish be brought in. There was a helmet 
on its head. Ajax followed and attacked it with his 
sword drawn as if he were mad; and after making 
passes with the edge and the flat he collected slices 
on the point, and divided the calf among the astonished 
company. 

We were not given long to admire these elegant 60 
tours deforce; suddenly there came a noise from the 
ceiling, and the whole dining-room trembled. I rose 
from my place in a panic : I was afraid some acrobat 
would come down through the roof. All the other guests 
too looked up astonished, wondering what the new 
portent from heaven was announced. The whole ceil- 
ing parted asunder, and an enormous hoop, apparently 
knocked out of a giant cask, was let down. All round 
it were hung golden crowns and alabaster boxes of 
perfumes. We were asked to take these presents for 
ourselves, when I looked back at the table. . . . 
A dish with some cakes on it had now been put there, 
a Priapus made by the confectioner standing in the 
middle, holding up every kind of fruit and grapes in 
his wide apron in the conventional style. We reached 
greedily after his treasures, and a sudden fresh turn 
of humour renewed our merriment. All the cakes and 
all the fruits, however lightly they were touched, 
began to spurt out saffron, and the nasty juice flew 

1 Parentium is a town in Istria; Trimalchio has no reason 
but ignorance for selecting it as the enemy of Troy. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

cidere. Rati ergo sacrum esse fericulum tam reiigioso 
apparatu perfusum, consurreximus altius et Augusto, 

• patri patriae, feliciter" diximus. Quibusdam tamen 
etiam post hanc venerationem poma rapientibus et 
ipsi 1 mappas implevimus, ego praecipue, qui nullo sa- 
tis amplo munere putabam me onerare Gitonis sinum. 
Inter haec tres pueri Candidas succincti tunicas in- 
traverunt, quorum duo Lares bullatos super mensam 
posuerunt, unus pateram vini circumferens "dii pro- 
pitii" clamabat. 

Aiebat autem unum Cerdonem, alterum Felicionem, 
tertium Lucrionem 2 vocari. Nos etiam veram imagi- 
nem ipsius Trimalchionis, cum iam omnes basiarent, 
erubuimus praeterire. 

6l Postquam ergo omnes bonam mentem bonamque 
valitudinem sibi optarunt, Trimalchio ad Nicerotem 
respexit et ' solebas" inquit suavius esse in convictu ; 
nescio quid nunc taces nee muttis. Oro te, sic felicem 
me videas, narra illud quod tibi usu venit." Niceros 
delectatus afFabilitate amici omne me ' ' inquit lucrum 
transeat, nisi iam dudum gaudimonio dissilio, quod te 
talem video. Itaque hilaria mera sint, etsi timeo istos 
scholasticos, ne me rideant. Viderint : narrabo tamen : 
quid enim mihi aufert, qui ridet? Satius est rideri 
quam derideri." Haec ubi dicta dedit," talem fabu- 
lam exorsus est: 

' Cum adhuc servirem, habitabamus in vico angusto ; 
nunc Gavillae domus est. Ibi, quomodo dii volunt, 
amare coepi uxorem Terentii coponis: noveratis Me- 

1 ipsi Heinstvs : ipsas. 

2 Lucrionem Reinesius: lucronem. 

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SATYRICON 

even into our mouths. We thought it must be a 
sacred dish that was anointed with such holy appoint- 
ments, and we all stood straight up and cried, "The 
gods bless Augustus, the father of his country." But 
as some people even after this solemnity snatched at 
the fruit, we filled our napkins too, myself especially, 
for I thought that I could never fill Giton's lap with 
a large enough present. Meanwhile three boys came 
in with their white tunics well tucked up, and two of 
them put images of the Lares with lockets round their 
necks on the table, while one carried round a bowl ot 
wine and cried, "God be gracious unto us." 

Trimalchio said that one of the images was called 
Gain, another Luck, and the third Profit. And as 
everybody else kissed Trimalchio's true portrait we 
were ashamed to pass it by. 

So after they had all wished themselves good sense 61 
and good health, Trimalchio looked at Niceros and 
said, You used to be better company at a dinner; I 
do not know why you are dumb now, and do not utter 
a sound. Do please, to make me happy, tell us of 
your adventure." Niceros was delighted by his friend's 
amiability and said, May I never turn another penny 
if I am not ready to burst with joy at seeing you in 
such a good humour. Well, it shall be pure fun then, 
though I am afraid your clever friends will laugh at 
me. Still, let them ; I will tell my story ; what harm 
does a man's laugh dome? Being laughed at is more 
satisfactory than being sneered at." So spake the 
hero, 1 and began the following story : 

"While I was still a slave, we were living in a ^ 

narrow street; the house now belongs to Gavilla. 

There it was God's will that I should fall in love with 

1 See Virgil. A£ncid n, 790. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
lissam Tarentinam, pulcherrimum bacciballum. Sed 
ego non mehercules corporaliter illam 1 aut propter 
res venerias curavi, sed magis quod benemoria 2 fuit. 
Si quid ab ilia petii, nunquam mihi negatum; fecit 
assem, semissem habui ; quicquid habui, in illius sinum 
demandavi, nee unquam fefellitus sum. Huius con- 
tubernaiis ad villam supremum diem obiit. Itaque 
per scutum per ocream egi aginavi, quemadmodum ad 
illam pervenirem: scitis autem, in angustiis amici 
62 apparent. Forte dominus Capuam exierat ad scruta 
scita expedienda. Nactus ego occasionem persuadeo 
hospitem nostrum, ut mecum ad quintum miliarium 
veniat. Erat autem miles, fortis tanquam Orcus. 
Apoculamus nos circa gallicinia, luna lucebat tanquam 
meridie. Venimus intra monimenta: homo meus 
coepit ad stelas facere, sedeo 8 ego cahtabundus et 
stelas numero. Deinde ut respexi ad comitem, ille 
exuit se et omnia vestimenta secundum viam posuit. 
Mihi anima 4 in naso esse, stabam tanquam mortuus. 
At ille circumminxit vestimenta sua, et subito lupus 
factus est. Nolite me iocari putare; ut mentiar, 
nullius patrimonium tanti facio. Sed, quod coeperam 
dicere, postquam lupus factus est, ululare coepit et in 
silvas fugit. Ego primitus nesciebam ubi essem, 
deinde accessi, ut vestimenta eius tollerem : ilia autem 
lapidea facta sunt. Qui mori timore nisi ego ? Gladium 
tamen strinxi et in tota via 5 umbras cecidi, donee ad 

1 illam Buecheler: autem. 

2 benemoria Orelli: bene moriar. 
8 sedeo Schejfer: sed. 

4 anima MuncJter: in animo. 

5 in tota via Scheffer: matavita tan. 
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SATYRICON 

the wife of Terentius the inn-keeper ; you remember 
her, Melissa of Tarentum, a pretty round thing. But 
I swear it was no base passion; .1 did not care about 
her in that way, but rather because she had a beauti- 
ful nature. If I asked her for anything it was never 
refused me; if she made twopence I had a penny; 
whatever I had I put into her pocket, and I was never 
taken in. Now one day her husband died' on the 
estate. 1 So I buckled on my shield and greaves, and * 
schemed how to come at her: and as you know, 
one's friends turn up in tight places. My master 
happened to have gone to Capua to look after some 
silly business 2 or other. I seized my opportunity, and 62 
persuaded a guest in our house to come with me as 
far as the fifth milestone. He was a soldier, and 
as brave as Hell. So we trotted off about cock- 
crow ; the moon shone like high noon. We got among 
the tombstones 3 : my man went aside to look at the 
epitaphs, I sat down with my heart full of song and 
began to count the graves. Then when I looked 
round at my friend, he stripped himself and put all 
his clothes by the roadside. My heart was in my mouth, 
but I stood like a dead man. He made a ring of water 
round his clothes and suddenly turned into a wolf. ' 
Please do not think I am joking; I would not lie 
about this for any fortune in the world. But as I was 
saying, after he had turned into a wolf, he began to 
howl, and ran off into the woods. At first I hardly 
knew where I was, then I went up to take his clothes ; 
but they had all turned into stone. No one could be 
nearer dead with terror than I was. But I drew my 
sword and went slaying shadows all the way till I 

terentius was a slave managing the tavern for his master. 
2 Lit., elegant trash. 3 They would be by the roadside. 
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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

villain amicae meae pervenirem. Ut larua 1 intravi, 
paene animam ebullivi, sudor mihi per bifurcum vola- 
bat, oculi mortui, vix unquam refectus sum. Melissa 
mea mirari coepit, quod tam sero ambularem, et Si 
ante' inquit venisses, saltern nobis adiutasses; lupus 
enim villam intravit et omnia pecora perculit, tanquam 
lanius sanguinem illis misit. Nee tamen derisit, etiam 
si fugit ; servus enim noster lancea collum eius traie- 
cit.' Haec ut audivi, operire oculos amplius non 
potui, sed luce clara Gai nostri domum fugi tanquam 
copo compilatus, et postquam veni in ilium locum, in 
quo lapidea vestimenta erant facta, nihil inveni nisi 
sanguinem. Ut vero domum veni, iacebat miles meus 
in lecto tanquam bovis, et collum illius medicus cura- 
bat. Intellexi ilium versipellem esse, nee postea 
cum illo panem gustare potui, non si me occidisses. 
Viderint alii quid de hoc exopinissent ; ego si mentior, 
genios vestros iratos habeam." 
63 Attonitis admiratione universis ' Salvo" inquit "tuo 
sermone" Trimalchio si qua fides est, ut mihi pili 
inhorruerunt, quia scio Niceronem nihil nugarum nar- 
rare : immo certus est et minime linguosus. Nam et 
ipse vobis rem horribilem narrabo: asinus in tegulis. 
Cum adhuc capiilatus essem, nam a puero vitam Chiam 
gessi, ipsimi liostri 2 delicatus decessit, mehercules 
margaritum, zacritus 8 et omnium numerum. Cum 
ergo ilium mater misella plangeret et nos turn plures. 
in tristimonio essemus, subito strigae stridere 4 coepe- 

1 ut larua Buecheler: in larvam. 

2 ipsimi nostri Buecheler; ipim mostri. 

3 zacritus Roensch; caccitus. A Latin rendering of the 
Greek di&Kpiros, excellent. Cf. notes on c. 37. 

4 stridere added by Jacobs. 

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SATYRICON 

came to my love's house. I went in like a corpse, 
and nearly gave up the ghost, the sweat ran down 
my legs, my eyes were dull, I could hardly be revived. 
My dear Melissa was surprised at my being out so late, 
and said, If you had come earlier you might at least 
have helped us ; a wolf got into the house and worried 
all our sheep, and let their blood like a butcher. But 
he did not make fools of us, even though he got off; 
for our slave made a hole in his neck with a spear.' 
When I heard this, I could not keep my eyes shut any 
longer, but at break of day I rushed back to my master 
Gams' s house like a defrauded publican, and when 1 
came to the place where the clothes were turned into 
stone, I found nothing but a pool of blood. But when 
I reached home, my soldier was lying in bed like an ox, 
with a doctor looking after his neck. I realized that 
he was a werewolf, and I never could sit down to a 
meal with him afterwards, not if you had killed me * 
first. Other people may think what they like about / 
this ; but may all your guardian angels punish me if I / 

am lying." ' 

We were all dumb with astonishment, but Trimal- 6$ 
chio said, "I pick no holes in your story; by the soul 
of truth, how my hair stood on end ! For I know that 
Niceros never, talks nonsense : he is very dependable, 
and not at all a chatterbox. Now I want to tell you 
a tale of horror myself: but I'm a donkey on the tiles 
compared with him, While I still had hair down my 
back, for I lived delicately 1 from my youth up, my 
master's favourite died. Oh ! he was a pearl, one in 
a thousand, and a mirror of perfection ! So while his 
poor mother was bewailing him, and several of us were 

1 Literally "a Chian life, M i.e. luxurious and vicious. 
Thucydides calls the Chians shameless. 

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TITUS PETR0N1US ARBITER 

runt; putares canem leporem persequi. Habebamus 
tunc hominem Cappadocem, longum, valde audaculum 
et qui valebat : poterat bovem 1 iratum tollere. Hie au- 
dacter stricto gladio extra ostium procucurrit, involuta 
sinistra manu curiose, et mulierem tanquam hoc loco 
— salvum sit, quod tango — mediam traiecit. Audimus 
gemitum, et — plane non mentiar — ipsas non vidimus. 
Baro autem noster introversus se proiecit in lectum, 
et corpus totum lividum habebat quasi flagellis caesus, 
quia scilicet ilium tetigerat mala manus. Nos cluso 
ostio redimus iterum ad officium, sed dum mater am- 
plexaret corpus filii sui, tangit et videt manuciolum de 
stramentis factum. Non cor habebat, non intestina, 
non quicquam : scilicet iam puerum strigae involave- 
rant et supposuerant stramenticium vavatonem. Rogo 
vos, oportet credatis, sunt mulieres plussciae, sunt 
nocturnae, et quod sursum est, deorsum faciunt. 
Ceterum baro ille longus post hoc factum nunquam 
coloris sui fuit, immo post paucos dies phreneticus 
periit." 
64 Miramur nos et pariter credimus, osculatique men- 
sam rogamus nocturnas, ut suis se teneant, dum 
redimus a cena. 

Et sane iam lucernae mihi plures videbantur ardere 

totumque triclinium esse mutatum, cum Trimalchio 

tibi dico" inquit Plocame, nihil narras? Nihil nos 

delectaris? Et solebas suavius esse, canturire belle 

deverbia, adicere melicam. Heu heu, abistis dulcis 

caricae." Iam" inquit ille quadrigae meae decu- 

1 bovem Reiske; Jovem. 

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SATYRICON 

sharing her sorrow, suddenly the witches began to 
screech ; you would have thought there was a dog pur- 
suing a hare. We had a Cappadocian in the house at the 
time, a tall fellow, mighty brave and a man of muscle ; 
he could lift an angry bull off the ground. He rushed 
boldly out of doors with a naked sword, having carefully 
wrapped up his left hand, and ran the woman through 
the middle, just about here — may the spot my finger is 
on be safe ! We heard a groan, but to tell the honest 
truth we did not see the witches themselves. But 
our big fellow came back and threw himself on a bed : 
and his whole body was blue as if he had been flogged, 
of course because the witch's hand had touched him. 
We shut the door and returned to our observances, but 
when the mother put her arms round the body of her 
son, she felt it and saw that it was a little bundle of 
straw. It had no heart, no inside or anything: of 
course the witches had carried off the boy and put a 
straw changeling in his place. Ah ! yes, I would beg 
you to believe there are wise women, and night-riders, 
who can turn the whole world upside down. Well, the 
tall slave never came back to his proper colour after this 
affair, and died raving mad in a few days." 

We were full of wonder and faith, and we kissed 64 
the table and prayed the Night-riders to stay at home 
as we returned from dinner. 

By this time, I own, the lamps were multiplying 
before my eyes, and the whole dining-room was alter- 
ing; then Trimalchio said, Come you, Plocamus, 
have you got no story? Will you not entertain us? 
You used to be more pleasant company, and recite 
blank verse very prettily, and put in songs too. Dear, 
dear, all the sweet green figs are fallen!" Ah, yes," 
the man replied, "my galloping days are over since I 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
currerunt, ex quo podagricus factus sum. Alioquin 
cum essem adulescentulus, cantando paene tisicus fa- 
ctus sum. Quidsaltare? Quid deverbia? Quid ton- 
strinum ? Quando parem habui nisi unum Apelletem?" 
Appositaque ad os manu nescio quid taetrum exsibila- 
vit, quod postea Graecum esse aflirmabat. 

Nee non Trimalchio ipse cum tubicines esset imita- 
tus, ad delicias suas respexit, quern Croesum appellabat. 
Puer autem lippus, sordidissimis dentibus, catellam 
nigram atque indecenter pinguem prasina involvebat 
fascia panemque semissem ponebat super torum atque 
[hac] nausea recusantem saginabat. Quo admonitus 
officii Trimalchio Scylacem iussit adduci praesidium 
domus familiaeque." Nee mora, ingentis formae ad- 
ductus est canis catena vinctus, admonitusque ostiarii 
calce, ut cubaret, ante mensam se posuit. Turn Tri- 
malchio iactans candidum panem nemo" inquit in 
domo mea me plus amat." Indignatus puer, quod 
Scylacem tam effuse laudaret, catellam in terram de- 
posuit hortatusque est, ut ad rixam properaret. Scy- 
lax, canino scilicet usus ingenio, taeterrimo latratu 
triclinium implevit Margaritamque Croesi paene lace- 
ravit. Nee intra rixam tumultus constitit, sed candela- 
brum etiam super mensam eversum et vasa omnia 
crystallina comminuit et oleo ferventi aliquot convivas 
respersit. Trimalchio ne videretur iactura motus, ba- 
siavit puerum ac iussit super dorsum ascendere suum. 
Non moratus ille usus est equo manuque plena scapu- 
las eius subinde verberavit, interque risum proclamavit : 
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SATYRICON 

was taken with the gout. In the days when I was a 
young fellow I nearly got consumption with .singing. 
How I could dance and recite and imitate the talk in 
a barbers shop! Was there ever my equal, except 
the one and only Apelles ?" And he put his hand to 
his mouth and whistled out some offensive stuff I did 
not catch : he declared afterwards it was Greek. 

Then Trimalchio, after imitating a man with a trum- 
pet, looked round for his favourite, whom he called 
Croesus. The creature had blear eyes and very bad teeth, 
and was tying up an unnaturally obese black puppy in a 
green handkerchief, and then putting a broken piece of 
bread on a chair, and cramming it down the throat of the 
dog, who did* not want it and was sick. This reminded 
Trimalchio of his duties, and he ordered them to bring 
in Scylax, the guardian of the house and the slaves." 
An enormous dog on a chain was at once led in, and 
on receiving a kick from the porter as a hint to lie 
down, he curled up in front of the table. Then Tri- 
malchio threw him a. bit of white bread and said, 
"No one in the house loves me better than Scylax." 
The favourite took offence at his lavish praise of the 
dog, and put down the puppy, and encouraged him 
to attack Scylax. Scylax, after the manner of dogs, 
filled the dining-room with a most hideous barking, 
and nearly tore Croesus's little Pearl to pieces. And 
the uproar did not end with a dog-fight, for a 
lamp upset over the table, and broke all the glass 
to pieces, and sprinkled some of the guests with hot 
oil. Trimalchio did not want to seem hurt at his loss, 
so he kissed his favourite, and told him to jump on 
his back. He mounted his horse at once and went 
on smacking Trimalchio' s shoulders with his open 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
"Bucca, bucca, quot sunt hie?" repressus ergo ali- 
quamdiu Trimalchio camellam grandem iussit misceri 
. . . potiones dividi omnibus servis, qui ad pedes sede- 
bant, adiecta exceptione: Si quis" inquit noluerit 
accipere, caput illi perfunde. Interdiu severa, nunc 
. hilaria." 
65 Hanc humanitatem insecutae sunt matteae, quarum 
etiam recordatio me, si qua est dicenti fides,, offendit. 
Singulae enim gallinae altiles pro turdis circumlatae 
sunt et ova anserina pilleata, quae ut comessemus, 
ambitiosissime a nobis Trimalchio petiit dicens exossa- 
tas esse gallinas. Inter haec triclinii valvas lie tor 
percussit, amictusque veste alba cum ingenti frequen- 
tia comissator intravit. Ego maiestate conterritus 
praetorem putabam venisse. Itaque temptavi assur- 
gere et nudos pedes in terram deferre. Risit hanc 
trepidationem Agamemnon et Con tine te" inquit 
"homo stultissime. Habinnas sevir est idemque lapi- 
darius, qui videtur 1 monumenta optime facere." 

Recreatus hoc sermone reposui cubitum, Habin- 
namque intrantem cumadmiratione ingenti spectabam. 
Ille autem iam ebrius uxoris suae umeris imposuerat 
manus, oneratusque aliquot coronis et unguento per 
frontem in oculos fluente praetorio loco se posuit con- 

1 videtur Scheffer; videretur. 
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SATYRICON 

hand, saying, How many are we, blind man' s cheek? ' ' l 
After some time Trimalchio calmed himself, and or- 
dered a great bowl of wine to be mixed, and drinjts 
to be served round to all the slaves, who were sitting 
at our feet, adding this provision : " If anyone refuses 
to take it, pour it over his head ; business in the day- 
time and pleasure at night." 

After this display of kindness, some savouries were 65 
brought in, the memory of which, as sure as I tell you 
this story, still makes me shudder. For instead of a 
thrush a fat chicken was brought round to each of Us, 
and goose-eggs in caps, which Trimalchio kept 
asking us to eat with the utmost insistence, saying 
that they were chickens without the bones. Mean- 
while a priest's attendant 2 knocked at the dining- 
room door, and a man dressed in white for some 
festivity came in with a number of others. I was 
frightened by his solemn looks, and thought the 
mayor had arrived. So I tried to get up and plant 
my bare feet on the ground. Agamemnon laughed 
at my anxiety and said, "Control yourself, you silly 
fool ! It is Habinnas of the priests' college, a monu- 
mental mason with a reputation for making first-class 
tombstones." I was relieved by this news, and 
lay down in my place again, and watched Habinnas* 
entrance with great astonishment. He was quite 
drunk, and had put his hands on his wife's shoulders ; 
he had several wreaths on, and ointment was running 
down his forehead into his eyes. He sat down in the 

1 Bucca was a child's game (Hoodman Blind in English) 
where one child was blindfolded and the others touched him 
on the cheek, and asked him how many fingers, or how many 
children, had touched him. 

8 The attendant on a Sevir Augusti. See note, p. 43. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

tinuoque vinum et caldam poposcit. Delectatus hac 
Trimalchio hilaritate et ipse capaciorem poposcit 
scyphum quaesivitque, quomodo acceptus esset. 
Omnia" inquit habuimus praeter te; oculi enim 
mei hie erant. Et mehercules bene fuit. Scissa lau- 
tiun novendiale servo suo misello faciebat, quem 
mortuum manu miserat. Et puto> cum vicensimariis 
magnam mantissam habet ; quinquaginta enim milli- 
bus aestimant mortuum. Sed tamen suaviter fuit, 
66 etiam si coacti sumus dimidias potiones super ossucula 
eius effundere." Tamen" inquit Trimalchio quid 
habuistisincena?" Dicam" inquit si potuero ; nam 
tarn bonae memoriae sum, ut frequenter nomen meum 
obliviscar. Habuimus tamen in primo porcum poculo 
coronatum et circa saViunculum 1 et gizeria optime 
facta et certe betam et panem autopyrum de suo sibi, 
quem ego malo quam candidum ; et vires facit, et cum 
mea re [causa] 2 facio, non ploro. Sequens ferculum 
fuit scriblita frigida et super mel caldum infusum ex- 
cellente Hispanum. Itaque de scriblita quidem non 
minimum edi, de melle me usque tetigi. Circa cicer 
et lupinum, calvae arbitratu et mala singula. Ego 
tamen duo sustuli et ecce in mappa alligata habeo; 
nam si aliquid muneris meo vernulae non tulero, ha 
bebo convicium. Bene me admonet domina mea. In 
prospectu habuimus ursinae frustum, de quo cum im- 
prudens Scintilla gustasset, paene intestina sua vomu- 

1 saviunculum Hildebrand: saucunculum. 
3 causa bracketed by Buecheler. 
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SATYRICON 

chief magistrate's place, 1 and at once called for wine 
and hot water. Trimalchio was delighted at his good 
humour, and demanded a larger cup for himself, and 
asked him how he had been received. "We had 
everything there except you," was the reply, "for my 
eyes were here with you. Yes, it was really splendid. 
Scissa was having a funeral feast on the ninth day for 
her poor dear slave, whom she set free on his death- 
bed. And I believe she will have an enormous sum 
to pay the tax-collector, for they reckon that the 
dead man was worth fifty thousand. 2 But anyhow 
it was a pleasant affair, even if we did have to pour 
half our drinks over his lamented bones." Ah," 66 
said Trimalchio, but what did you have for dinner?" 
I will tell you if I can," he said, ' but my memory 
is in such a fine way that I often forget my own name. 
Well, first we had a pig crowned with a wine-cup, gar- 
nished with honey cakes, and liver very well done, 
and beetroot of course, and pure wholemeal bread, 
which I prefer to white myself; it puts strength into 
you, and is good for the bowels. The next dish was 
a cold tart, with excellent Spanish wine poured over 
warm honey. Indeed I ate a lot of the tart, and 
gave myself such a soaking of honey. Pease and 
lupines were handed, a choice of nuts and an apple 
each. I took two myself, and I have got them here 
tied up in my napkin: for if I do not bring some 
present back for my pet slave-boy there will be 
trouble. Oh ! yes, my wife reminds me. There was 
a piece of bear on a side dish. Scintilla was rash 

1 The lowest seat.on the middle couch, usually called the 
consul's seat, but here the highest official present took it. 

* She would pay a tax of 5 per cent, i.e. 2,500 sesterces, on 
his value. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER . 
it ; ego contra plus libram comedi, nam ipsum aprum 
sapiebat. Et si, inquam, ursus homuncionem comest 
quanto magis homuncio debet ursum comesse? In 
summo habuimus caseum moll em ex sapa et cocleas 
singulas et cordae frusta et hepatia in catillis et ova 
pilleata et rapam et senape et catillum concacatum, 
pax Palamedes. Etiam in alveo circumlata sunt oxy- 
comina, unde quidam etiam improbe ternos pugnos * 
sustulerunt. Nam pernae missionem dedimus. Sed 
67 narra mihi, Gai, rogo, Fortunata quare non recumbit ?" 
"Quomodo nosti" inquit 'illam" Trimalchio "nisi 
argentum composuerit, nisi reliquias pueris diviserit, 
aquam in os suum non coniciet." Atqui" respondit 
Habinnas "nisi ilia discumbit, ego me apoculo" et 
coeperat surgere, nisi signo dato Fortunata quater 
amplius a tota familia esset vocata. Venit ergo galbino 
succincta cingillo, ita ut infra cerasina appareret tu- 
nica et periscelides tortae phaecasiaeque inauratae. 
Tunc sudario manus tergens, quod in collo habebat, 
applicat se illi toro, in quo Scintilla Habinnae dis- 
cumbebat uxor, osculataque plaudentem est te" 
inquit ' videre?" 

Eo deinde perventum est, ut Fortunata armillas 
suas crassissimis detraheret lacertis Scintillaeque 
miranti ostenderet. Ultimo etiam periscelides resolvit 

1 improbiter nos pugno corrected by Buecheler. 
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SATYRICON 

enough to taste it, and nearly brought up her own 
inside. I ate over a pound myself, for it tasted like 
proper wild boar. What I say is this, since bears eat 
up us poor men, how much better right has a poor 
man to eat up a bear ? To finish up with we had cheese 
mellowed in new wine, and snails all round, and pieces 
of tripe, and liver in little dishes, and eggs in caps, and 
turnip, and mustard, and a dish of forcemeat. But 
hold hard, Palamedes. 1 Pickled olives were brought 
round in a dish too, and some greedy creatures took 
three handfuls. For we had let the ham go. But 67 
tell me, Gaius, why is Fortunata not at dinner?" 
"Do you not know her better?" said Trimalchio. 
u Until she has collected the silver, and divided the 
remains among the slaves, she will not let a drop ot 
water pass her lips." "Oh," replied Habinnas, ' but 
unless she is here I shall take myself off," and he was 
just getting up, when at a given signal all Xh$ slaves 
called "Fortunata" four times and more.! So she 
came in with a high yellow waist-band on, which al- 
lowed a cherry-red bodice to appear under it, and 
twisted anklets, and white shoes embroidered with 
gold. She wiped her hands on a cloth which she had 
round her neck, took her place on the sofa, where 
Scintilla, Habinnas' s wife, was lying, kissed her as she 
was clapping her hands, and said, Is it really you, 
dear?" 

Fortunata then went so far as to take the bracelets 
off her fat arms to exhibit them to Scintilla's admir- 
ing gaze. At last she even took qff her anklets 

1 Pax is an exclamation unconnected with the noun pax y 
"peace." The meaning of its conjunction with the word 
Palamedes is unknown : it may be merely due to the charm 
of alliteration. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

et reticulum aureum, quern ex obrussa esse dicebat 
Notavit haec Trimalchio iussitque afferri omnia et 
6 Videtis" inquit "mulieris compedes: sicnos barcalae 
despoliamur. Sex pondo et selibram debet habere. 
Et ipse nihilo minus habeo decern pondo armillam ex 
millesimis Mercurii factam." Ultimo etiam, ne mentiri 
videretur, stateram iussit afferri et circumlatum ap- 
probari pondus. Nee melior Scintilla, quae de cervice 
sua capsellam detraxit aureolam, quam Felicionem 
appellabat. Inde duo crotalia protulit et Fortunatae 
in vicem consideranda dedit et Domini" inquit "mei 
beneficio nemo habet meliora. ,, Quid?" inquit Ha- 
binnas excatarissasti me, ut tibi emerem fabam vi- 
tream. Plane si filiam haberem, auriculas ill! praeci- 
derem. Mulieres si non essent, omnia pro luto habe- 
remus; nunc hoc est caldum meiere et frigidum 
potare." 

Interim mulieres sauciae inter se riserunt ebriaeque 
iunxerunt oscula, dum altera diligentiam matris 
familiae iactat, altera delicias et indiligentiam viri. 
Dumque sic cohaerent, Habinnas furtim consurrexit 
pedesque Fortunatae correptos super lectum immisit. 
Au au" ilia proclamavit aberrante tunica super 
genua. Composita ergo in gremio Scintillae incensissi- 
mam 1 rubore faciem sudario abscondit. 
68 Interposito deinde spatio cum secundas mensas 
Trimalchio iussisset afferri, sustulerunt servi omnes 
mensas et alias attulerunt, scobemque croco et minio 
tinctam sparserunt et, quod nunquam ante videram, 

1 incensissimam Reinesius; indecens imam. 
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SATYRICON 

and her hair-net, which she said was eighteen carat. 
Trimalchio saw her, and ordered the whole lot to be 
brought to him. There, ,, he said, are a woman's 
fetters ; that is how we poor fools 1 are plundered. She 
must have six pounds and a half of gold on her. I 
have got a bracelet myself, made out of the per- 
centage which I owe to Mercury, that weighs not an 
ounce under ten pounds." At last, for fear we should 
think he was lying, he ordered the scales to be brought, 
and had the weight carried round and tested. Scintilla 
was just as bad. She took off a little gold box from 
her neck, which she called her lucky box. Then she 
brought out two earrings, and gave them to Fortunata 
to look at in her turn, and said, "Thanks to my hus- 
band's kindness, nobody has finer ones." ' What?" 
said Habinnas, ' you bullied me to buy you a glass 
bean.- I declare if I had a daughter I would cut off 
her ears. If there were no women, we should never 
trouble about anything : as it is, we sweat for them 
and get cold thanks." 

Meanwhile the tipsy wives laughed together, and 
gave each other drunken kisses, one prating of her 
prudence as a housewife, the other of the favourites 
of her husband and his inattention to her. While they 
were hobnobbing, Habinnas got up quietly, took For- 
tunata by the legs, and threw her over on the sofa. 
She shouted out, ' Oh! goodness!" and her dress flew 
up over her knees. She took refuge in Scintilla's arms, 
and buried her burning red face in a napkin. 

After an interval, Trimalchio ordered fresh relays 68 

of food to be brought in. The slaves took away all the 

tables, brought in others, and sprinkled about sawdust 

coloured with saffron and vermilion, and, what I had 

l Barcala is akin to bardus and baro y meaning " a blockhead." 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

ex lapide speculari pulverem tritum. Statim Trimal- 
chio "poteram quidem" inquit ' hoc fericulo esse 
contentus; secundas enim mensas habetis. Sed si 
quid belli habes, after." 

Interim puer Alexandrinus, qui caldam ministrabat, 
luscinias coepit imitari clamahteTrimalchione subinde : 

Muta." Ecce alius ludus. Servus qui ad pedes Ha- 
binnae sedebat, iussus, credo, a domino suo proclama- 
vit subito canora voce : 

Interea medium Aeneas iam classe tenebat." 
Nullus sonus unquam acidior percussit aures meas; 
nam praeter errantis barbariae aut adiectum aut de- 
minutum clamorem miscebat Atellanicos versus, ut 
tunc primum me etiam Vergilius offenderit. Plausum l 
tamen, cum aliquando desisset, 2 adiecit Habinnas et 

nunquam" 8 inquit "didicit, sed ego ad circulatores 
eum mittendo erudibam. 4 Itaque parem non habet, 
sive muliones volet sive circulatores imitari. Despe- 
ratum 5 valde ingeniosus est: idem sutor est, idem 
cocus idem pistor, omnis musae mancipium. Duo 
tamen vitia habet, quae si non haberet, esset omnium 
numerum : recutitus est et stertit. Nam quod stra- 
bonus est, non euro : sicut Venus spectat. Ideo nihil 
69 tacet, vix oculo mortuo unquam. Ilium emi trecentis 
denariis." Interpellavit loquentem Scintilla et plane " 
inquit non omnia artificia servi nequam narras. 
Agaga est; at curabo, stigmam habeat." Risit Tri- 
malchio et adcognosco" inquit Cappadocem: nihil 

1 plausum Buecheler: lassus. 

2 desisset Scheffer; dedisset. 

8 nunquam inquit Buecheler: nunquid. 
4 erudibam Jahn; audibant. 
6 desperatum Buecheler; desperatus. 
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SATYRICON 

never seen before, powdered talc. Trimalchio at once 
said, " I might really be satisfied with this course ; for 
you have got your fresh relays. But if there is any- 
thing nice, put it on." 

Meanwhile a boy from Alexandria, who was handing 
hot water, began to imitate a nightingale, and made 
Trimalchio shout, "Oh ! change the tune." Then there 
was another joke. A slave, who was sitting at the feet 
of Habinnas, began, by his master's orders I suppose, 
suddenly to cry in a loud voice : 

Now with his fleet Aeneas held the main." 1 
No sharper sound ever pierced my ears ; for besides his 
making barbarous mistakes in raising or lowering his 
voice, he mixed up Atellane verses 2 with it, so that 
Virgil jarred on me for the first time in my life. All 
the same, Habinnas supplied applause when he had 
at last left off, and said, ' He never went to school, 
but I educated him by sending him round the hawkers 
in the market. So he has no equal when he wants to 
imitate mule-drivers or hawkers. He is terribly clever ; 
he is a cobbler too, a cook, a confectioner, a slave 
of all the talents. He has only two faults, and if he 
were rid of them he would be simply perfect. He is 
a Jew and he snores. For I do not mind his being 
cross-eyed ; he has a look like Venus. So that is why 
he cannot keep silent, and scarcely ever shuts his 
eyes. I bought him for three hundred denarii." 
Scintilla interrupted his story by saying, "To be sure 69 
you have forgotten some of the tricks of the vile slave. 
He is a Don Juan; but I will see to it that .he is 
branded." Trimalchio laughed and said, "Oh! I 
perceive he is a Cappadocian ; he does not deny himself, 

1 See Virgil, A£neidv> i. 

2 Comic verse ; probably improper. See note, p. 95. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

sibi defraudit, et mehercules laudo ilium; hoc enim 
nemo parentat. Tu autem, Scintilla, noli zelotypa 
esse. Crede mihi, et vos novimus. Sic me salvum 
habeatis, ut ego sic solebam ipsumam meam debat- 
tuere, ut etiam dominus suspicaretur ; et ideo me in 
vilicationem relegavit. Sed tace, lingua, dabo panem." 
Tanquam laudatus esset nequissimus servus, lucernam 
de sinu fictilem protulit et amplius semihora tubicines 
imitatus est succinente Habinna et inferius labrum 
manu deprimente. Ultimo etiam in medium processit 
et modo harundinibus quassis choraulas imitatus est, 
modo lacernatus cum flagello mulionum fata egit, 
donee vocatum ad se Habinnas basiavit, potionemque 
illi porrexit et "Tanto melior" inquit Massa, dono 
tibi caligas." 

Nee ullus tot malorum finis fuisset, nisi epidipnis 

esset allata, turdi siliginei uvis passis nucibusque 

farsi. Insecuta sunt Cydonia etiam mala spinis confixa, 

ut echinos efficerent. Et haec quidem tolerabilia 

erant, si non fericulum longe monstrosius effecisset, 

ut vel fame perire mallemus. Nam cum positus esset, 

ut nos putabamus, anser altilis circaque pisces et 

omnia genera avium, "Amici" 1 inquit Trimalchio 

quicquid videtis hie positum, de uno corpore est 

factum.' ' Ego, scilicet homo prudentissimus, statim 

intellexi quid esset, et respiciens Agamemnonem 

mirabor" inquam nisi omnia ista de fimo 2 facta sunt 

aut certe de luto. Vidi Romae Saturnalibus eiusmodi 

70 cenarum imaginem fieri/ ' Necdum finieram sermonem, 

cum Trimalchio ait: Ita crescam patrimonio, non 

1 amici added by Buecheler. 

2 fimo added by Buecheler. 

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SATYRICON 

and, upon my word, I admire him ; for no one can send 
a dead man any fun. And please do not be jealous, 
Scintilla. Take my word for it, we know you women 
too. By my hope of salvation, I used to amuse my 
own mistress, until even the master became suspicious ; 
and so he banished me to a country stewardship. But 
peace, my tongue, and you shall have some bread." 
(The worthless slave took a clay lamp out of his dress, 
as if he had been complimented, and imitated trumpe- 
ters for more than half an hour, Habinnas singing with 
him and pulling his lower lip down. Finally, he came 
right into the middle of the room, and shook a pipe 
of reeds in imitation of flute-players, or gave us 
the mule-driver's life, with a cloak and a whip, till 
Habinnas called him and gave him a kiss, and offered 
him a drink, saying, "Better than ever, Massa. I will 
give you a pair of boots.' ' 

There would have been no end to our troubles if a 
last course had not been brought in, thrushes made 
of fine meal and stuffed with raisins and nuts. There 
followed also quinces, stuck all over with thorns to 
look like sea-urchins. We could have borne this, if 
a far more fantastic dish had not driven us even to 
prefer death by starvation. What we took to be a fat 
goose, with fish and all kinds of birds round it, was 
put on, and then Trimalchio said, My friends, what- 
ever you see here on the table is made out of one 
body." With my usual intelligence, I knew at once 
what it was; I looked at Agamemnon and said, "I 
shall be surprised if the whole thing is not made out 
of filth, or at any rate clay. I have seen sham dinners 
of this kind served in Rome at the Saturnalia." I 
had not finished speaking when Trimalchio said, "As 70 
I hope to grow in gains and not in girth, my cook 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

corpore, ut ista cocus meus de porco fecit. Non potest 
esse pretiosior homo. Volueris, de vulva faciet piscem, 
de lardo palumbum, de perna turturem, de colaepio 
gallinam. Et ideo ingenio meo impositum est illi no- 
men bellissimum ; nam Daedalus vocatur. Et quia 
bonam mentem habet, attuli illi Roma munus cultros 
Norico ferro." Quos statim iussit afferri inspectosque 
miratus est. Etiam nobis potestatem fecit, ut mucro- 
nem ad buccam probaremus. 

Subito intraverunt duo servi, tanquam qui rixam 
ad lacum fecissent; certe in collo 1 adhuc amphoras 
habebant. Cum ergo Trimalchio ius inter litigantes 
diceret, neuter sententiam tulit decernentis, sed alte- 
rius amphoram fuste percussit. Consternati nos inso- 
lentia ebriorum intentavimus oculos in proeliantes 
notavimusque ostrea pectinesque e gastris labentia, 
quae collecta puer lance circumtulit. Has lautitias 
aequavit ingeniosus cocus ; in craticula enim argentea 
cochleas attulit et tremula taeterrimaque voce cantavit. 

Pudet referre, quae secuntur; inaudito enim more 
pueri capillati attulerunt unguentum in argentea 
pelve pedesque recumbentium unxerunt, cum ante 
crura talosque corollis vinxissent. Hinc ex eodem 
unguento in vinarium atque lucernam aliquantum 2 
est infusum. 

lam coeperat Fortunata velle saltare, iam Scintilla 
frequentius plaudebat quam loquebatur, cum Trimal- 
chio Permitto" inquit Philargyre et Cario, etsi 

1 collo Heinsius; loco. 

2 aliquantum Heinsius: liquatum. 
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SATYR1CON 

made the whole thing out of a pig. There could not 
be a more valuable fellow. If you want it, he will 
make you a fish out of a sow's belly, a woodpigeon out 
of bacon, a turtledove out of a ham, and a chicken out 
of a knuckle of pork. That gave me the idea of putting 
a very pretty name on him ; he is called Daedalus. 
And because he is so intelligent, I brought him back 
from Rome some knives, made of steel of Noricum, as 
a present." He had these knives brought in at once, 
and contemplated them with admiration. He even 
allowed us to try the edge on our cheeks. 

Suddenly two slaves came in who had apparently 
been fighting at a water-tank ; at least they still had 
waterpots on their necks. Trimalchio sat in judgment 
on the dispute, but neither of them accepted his 
decision, and they smashed each other's waterpots 
with sticks. We were amazed at their drunken folly, 
and stared at them fighting, and then we saw oysters 
and cockles fall out of the pots, and a boy picked them 
up and brought them round on a dish. The clever 
cook was a match for this exhibition ; he offered us 
snails on a silver gridiron, and sang in an extremely 
ugly quavering voice. 

I am ashamed to tell you what followed : in defiance 
of all convention, some long-haired boys brought oint- 
ment in a silver basin, and anointed our feet as we lay, 
after winding little garlands round our feet and ankles. 
A quantity of the same ointment was then poured into 
the mixing-bowl and the lamp. 

Fortunata had now grown anxious to dance ; Scin- 
tilla clapped her hands more often than she spoke, 
when Trimalchio said, Philargyrus, you and Cario, 

1 A common nickname for a Jack of all trades. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

prasinianus es famosus, die et Menophilae, contuber- 
nali tuae, discumbat." Quid multa? paene de lectis 
deiecti sumus, adeo totum triclinium familia occupa- 
verat. Certe ego notavi super me positum cocum, 
qui de porco anserem fecerat, muria condimentisque 
fetentem. Nee contentus fuit recumbere, sed continuo 
Ephesum tragoedum coepit imitari^t subinde domi- 
num suum sponsione provocare si prasinus proximis 
eircensibus primam palmam." 
71 Diffusus hac contentione Trimalchio amici" inquit 
et servi homines sunt et aeque unum lactem bibe- 
runt, etiam si illos malus fatus oppressit. 1 Tamen me 
salvo cito aquam liberam gustabunt. Ad summam., 
omnes illos in testamento meo manu mitto. Philargyro 
etiam fundum lego et eontubernalem suam, Carioni 
quoque insulam et vicesimam et lectum stratum. Nam 
Fortunatam meam heredem facio, et commendo illam 
omnibus amicis meis. Et haec ideo omnia publico, ut 
familia mea iam nunc sic me amet tanquam mortuum." 
Gratias agere omnes indulgentiae coeperant domini, 
cum ille oblitus nugarum exemplar testamenti iussit 
afferri et totum a primo ad ultimum ingemescente 
familia recitavit. Respiciens deinde Habinnam quid 
dicis" inquit amice carissime? Aedificas monumen- 
tum meum, quemadmodum te iussi? Valde te rogo, 
ut secundum pedes statuae meae catellam ponas 2 et 
coronas et unguenta et Petraitis omnes pugnas, ut 



1 oppressit Buecheler: oppresserit. 

2 ponas Buecheler: ping-as. 



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SATYRICON 

though you are a damned wearer of the green, 1 may sit 
down and tell your good woman, Menophila, to do the 
same." I need hardly say that we were nearly pushed 
off the sofas with the slaves crowding into every seat. 
Anyhow, I noticed that the cook, who had made a 
goose out of the pig, sat stinking of pickle and sauces 
just above me. Not satisfied with having a seat, he at 
once began to imitate the tragedian Ephesus, and 
then invited his own master to make a bet on the 
green being first in the next games. 

Trimalchio cheered up at this dispute and said, 71 
Ah, my friends, a slave is a man and drank his 
mother's milk like ourselves, even if cruel fate has 
trodden him down. Yes, and if I live they shall soon 
taste the water of freedom. In fact I am setting them 
all free in my will. I am leaving a property and his 
good woman to Philargyrus as well, and to Cario a 
block of buildings, and his manumission fees, and a 
bed and bedding. I am making Fortunata my heir, 
and I recommend her to all my friends. I am making 
all this known so that my slaves may love me now as if 
I were dead." They all began to thank their master 
for his kindness, when he turned serious, and had a 
copy of the v will brought in, which he read aloud from 
beginning to end, while the slaves moaned and groaned. 
Then he looked at Habinnas and said, Now tell me, 
my dear friend : you will erect a monument as I have 
directed? I beg you earnestly to put up round the 
feet of my statue my little dog, and some wreaths, and 
bottles of perfume, and all the fights of Petraites, 2 

1 These persons were two of Trimalchio's slaves. Trimal- 
chio addresses one of them, Philargyrus, as a supporter of 
the green colours in competitions in the circus. Competitors 
wore four colours, blue, green, white, and red. 

8 See note, p. 91. 

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TITUS PETRON1US ARBITER 

mihi contingat tuo beneficio post mortem vivere; 
praeterea ut sint in fronte pedes centum, in agrum 
pedes ducenti. Omne genus enim poma volo sint 
circa cineres meos, et vinearum largiter. Valde enim 
falsum est vivo quidem domos cultas esse, non curari 
eas, ubi diutius nobis habitandum est. Et ideo ante 
omnia adici volo: 'hoc monumentum heredem non 
sequitur.' 1 Ceterum erit mih icurae, ut testamento 
caveam, ne mortuus iniuriam accipiam. Praeponam 
enim unum ex libertis sepulcro meo custodiae causa, 
ne in monumentum meum populus cacatum currat. 

Te rogo, ut naves etiam monumenti mei 

facias plenis velis euntes, et me in tribunali sedentem 
praetextatum cum auulis aureis quinque et nummos in 
publico de sacculo effundentem ; scis enim, quod epu- 
lum dedi binos denarios. Faciatur, si tibi videtur, et 
triclinia. Facias et totum populum sibi suaviter faci- 
entem. Ad dexteram meam ponas statuam Fortunatae 
meae columbam tenentem : et catellam cingulo alliga- 
tam ducat : et cicaronem meum, et amphoras copiosas 
gypsatas, ne effluant vinum. Et urnam licet fractam 
sculpas, et super earn puerum plorantem. Horologium 
in medio, ut quisquis horas inspiciet, velit nolit, nomen 

1 sequitur Buecheler: sequatur. Ther phrase, like in fronte 
and in agrum above, is written with Horace Satires \, S, 12-13, 
in mind. H.M.H.N.S. is a common inscription on tombs. 
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SATYRICON 

so that your kindness may bring me a life after death ; 
and I want the monument to have a frontage of one 
hundred feet and to be two hundred feet in depth. For 
I should like to have all kinds of fruit growing round 
my ashes, and plenty of vines. It is quite wrong for 
a man to decorate his house while he is alive, and not 
to trouble about the house where he must make a 
longer stay. So above all things I want added to the 
inscription, This monument is not to descend to my 
heir/ I shall certainly take care to provide in my 
will against any injury being done to me when I am 
dead. I am appointing one of the freedmen to be 
caretaker of the tomb and prevent the common peo- 
ple from running up and defiling it. I beg you to 
put ships in full sail on the monument, and me sitting 
in official robes on my official seat, wearing five 
gold rings and distributing coin publicly out of a bag ; l 
you remember that I gave a free dinner worth two 
denarii a head. I should like a dining-room table put 
in too, if you can arrange it. And let me have the 
whole people there enjoying themselves. On my right 
hand put a statue of dear Fortunata holding a dove, 
and let her be leading a little dog with a waistband on ; 
and my dear little boy, and big jars sealed with gyp- 
sum, so that the wine may not run out. And have a 
broken urn carved with a boy weeping over it. And 
a sundial in the middle, so that anyone who looks at 
the time will read my name whether he likes it or 

1 Members of the college of Augustus were allowed on im- 
portant public occasions to sit on a throne and to wear a toga 
praetexta. Trimalchio may have earned the right to wear 
gold rings by giving a public dinner: after his term of office 
as a Sevir Augusti (see note, p. % 43) expired, he would not 
be entitled to wear them. See c/32, where he wears a ring 
made to look like gold at a distance. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

meum legat. Inscriptio quoque vide diligenter si 
haec satis idonea tibi videtur: "C. Pompeius TrimaU 
chio Maecenatianus hie requiescit. Huic seviratus 
absenti decretus est. Cum posset in omnibus decuriis 
Romae esse, tamen noluit. Pius, fortis, fidelis, ex 
parvo crevit, sestertium reliquit trecenties, nee un- 
quam philosophum audivit. Vale: et tu.' " 
72 Haec ut dixit Trimalchio, flere coepit ubertim. 
Flebat et Fortunata, flebat et Habinnas, tota denique 
familia, tanquam in funus rogata, lamentatione tricli- 
nium implevit. Immo iam coeperam etiam ego plo- 
rare, cum Trimalchio f Ergo ,J inquit "cum sciamus 
nos morituros esse, quare non vivamus? Sic vos feli- 
ces videam, coniciamus nos in balneum, meo periculo, 
non paenitebit. Sic calet tanquam furnus." " Vero, 
vero/' inquit Habinnas 'de una die duas facere, nihil 
malo" nudisque consurrexit pedibus et Trimalchionem 
plaudentem 1 subsequi coepit. 

Ego respiciens ad Ascylton Quid cogitas ? " inquam 

ego enim si videro balneum, statim expirabo." 

' Assentemur" ait ille ' et dum illi balneum petunt, 

1 plaudentem Jacobs: gaudentem. 
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SATYRICON 

not. And again, please think carefully whether this in- 
scription seems to you quite appropriate : ' Here lieth 
Caius Pompeius Trimalchio, freedman of Maecenas. 1 
The degree of Priest of Augustus was conferred upon 
him in his absence. He might have been attendant on 
any magistrate in Rome, but refused it. 2 God-fearing, 
gallant, constant, he started with very little and left 
thirty millions. He never listened to a philosopher. 
Fare thee well, Trimalchio: and thou too, passer-by/ " 

After saying this, Trimalchio began to weep floods 72 
of tears. Fortunata wept, Habinnas wept, and then 
all the slaves began as if they had been invited to his 
funeral, and filled the dining-room with lamentation. 
I had even begun to lift up my voice myself, when 
Trimalchio said, ' Well, well, if we know we must die, 
why should we not live ? As I hope for your happi- 
ness, let us jump into a bath. My life on it, you will 
never regret it. It is as hot as a furnace." Very 
true, very true," said Habinnas, "making two days out 
of one is my chief delight." And he got up with bare 
feet and began'to follow Trimalchio, who was clapping 
his hands. 

I looked at Ascyltos and said, What do you think ? 

I shall die on the spot at the very sight of a bath." 

Oh ! let us say yes," he replied, and we will slip 

1 Trimalchio was allowed to have this name because he had 
been in the service of a master named Maecenas before he 
became a slave in the family of the Pompeii. Slaves were 
allowed to retain their old master's nam eon transfer in order 
to prevent confusion arising from similarities in their names 
where they were very numerous. 

2 Trimalchio boasts that if he had chosen to go to Rome as 
a freedman he could have become a member of the decuries, 
the orders or guilds which supplied the lower branches of 
the public service, e.g. lictors, scribes, criers, and street 
officers. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

nos in turba exeamus." Cum haee placuissent, du- 
cente per porticum Gitone ad ianuam venimus, ubi 
cahis catenarius tanto nos tumultu excepit, ut Ascyltos 
etiam in piscinam ceciderit. Nee non ego quoque 
ebrius, qui etiam pictum timueram canem, dum na- 
tanti opem fero, in eundem gurgitem tractus sum. 
Servavit nos tamen atriensis, qui interventu suo et 
canem placavit et nos trementes extraxit in siccum. 
Et Giton quidem iam dudum se ratione acutissima re- 
demerat a cane ; quicquid enim a nobis acceperat de 
cena, latranti sparserat, [at] ille avocatus cibo furorem 
suppresserat. Ceterum cum algentes utique petis- 
semus ab atriense, ut nos extra ianuam emitteret, 
( Erras " inquit ' si putas te exire hac posse, qua ve- 
nisti. Nemo unquam convivarum per eandem ianuam 
emissus est; alia intrant, alia exeunt." Quid faciamus 
73 homines miserrimi et novi generis labyrintho inclusi, 
quibus lavari iam coeperat votum esse? Ultro ergo 
rogavimus, ut nos ad balneum duceret, proiectisque 
vestimentis, quae Giton in aditu siccare coepit, balne- 
um intravimus, angustum scilicet et cisternae frigida- 
riae simile, in quo Trimalchio rectus stabat. Ac ne 
sic quidem putidissimam eius iactationem 1 licuit effu- 
gere ; nam nihil melius esse dicebat quam sine turba 
lavari, et eo ipst> loco aliquando pistrinum fuisse. 
Deinde ut lassatus consedit, invitatus balnei sono 
diduxit usque ad cameram os ebrium et coepit Mene- 
cratis cantica lacerare, sicut illi dicebant, qui linguam 

1 eius iactationem Heinsius : ei actionem. 
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SATYRICON 

away in the crowd while they are looking for the bath." 
This was agreed, and Giton led us through the gallery 
to the door, where the dog on the chain welcomed us 
with such a noise that Ascyltos fell straight into the 
fish-pond. As I, who had been terrified even of a painted 
dog, was drunk too, I fell into the same abyss while I 
was helping him in his struggles to swim. But the porter 
saved us by intervening to pacify the dog, and pulled us 
shivering on to dry land. Giton had ransomed him- 
self from the dog some time before by a very cunning 
plan; when it barked he threw it all the pieces we 
had given him at dinner, and food distracted the 
beast from his anger. But when, chilled to the bone, 
we asked the porter at least to let us out of the door, he 
replied, * You are wrong if you suppose you can go out 
at the door you came in by. None of the guests are 
ever let out by the same door; they come in at one 
and go out by another." There was nothing to be 73 
done, we were victims enwound in a new labyrinth, 
and the idea of washing had begun to grow pleasant, 
so we »l£ed him instead to show us the bath, and 
after throwing off our clothes, which Giton began to 
dry in the front hall, we went in. It was a tiny place 
like a cold-water cistern, and Trimalchio was standing 
upright in it. We were npt.allowed to escape his filthy 
bragging even there; he declared that there was 
nothing nicer than washing out of a crowd, and told 
us that there had once been a bakery on that very 
spot. He then became tired and sat down, and the 
echoes of the bathroom encouraged him to open his 
tipsy jaws to the ceiling and begin to murder Mene- 
crates's songs, 1 as I was told by those who could under- 

1 Menecrates was specially honoured by Nero (Suetonius, 
Nero, c. 30). 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

eius intellegebant. Ceteri convivae circa labrum 
maiiibus nexis currebant et gingilipho ingenti clamore 
exsonabant. Alii autem [aut] restrictis manibus anu- 
los de pavimento conabantur tollere aut posito genu 
cervices post terga flectere et pedum extremos polli- 
ces tangere. Nos, dtlm alii sibi ludos faciunt, in solium, 
quod Trimalchioni vaporabatur, 1 descendimus. 

Ergo ebrietate discussa in aliud triclinium deducti 
sumus, ubi Fortunata disposuerat lautitias [suas] 2 
ita ut supra lucernas . . . aeneolosque piscatores 
notaverim et mensas totas argenteas calicesque circa 
fictiles inauratos et vinum in conspectu sacco defluens. 
Turn Trimalchio Amici" inquit ' hodie servus meus 
barbatoriam fecit, homo praefiscini frugi et micarius. 
74 Itaque tangomenas faciamus et usque in lucem cene- 
mus." Haec dicente eo gallus gallinaceus cantavit. 
Qua voce confusus Trimalchio vinum sub mensa iussit 
- emindi lucernamque etiam mero spargi. J^mo anu- 
lum traiecit in dexteram manum et non sine cd»sa" 
inquit hie bucinus signum dedit ; nam aut incendium 
oportet fiat, aut aliquis in vicinia animam abiciet. 
Longe a nobis. Itaque quisquis hunc indicem attulerit, 
• corollarium accipiet." Dicto citius de vicinia gallus 
allatus est, quem Trimalchio occidi 3 iussit, ut aeno co- 
ctus fieret. Laceratus igitur ab illo doctissimo coco, qui 
paulo ante de porco aves piscesque fecerat, in caeca- 
bum est coniectus. Dumque Daedalus potionem fer- 

1 vaporabatur Buechelerx pervapatur (in marg. paraba- 
tur). 

2 suas marked for deletion in MS, 
8 occidi added by Buecheler* 

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SATYRICON 

stand what he said. Other guests joined hands and ran 
round the edge of the bath, roaring with obstreperous 
laughter at the top of their voices. Some again 
had their hands tied behind their backs and tried to 
pick up rings from the floor, or knelt down and bent 
their heads backwards and trieclvto touch the tips of 
their toes. While the others were amusing them- 
selves, we went down into a deep bath which was 
being heated for Trimalchio. 

Then, having got rid of the effects of our liquor, we 
were led into another dining-room, where Fortunata had 
laid out her treasures, so that over the lamps I saw .... 
little bronze fishermen, and tables of solid silver, and 
china cups with gold settings, and wine being 
strained through a cloth before our eyes. Then Tri- 
malchio said, Gentlemen, a slave of mine is cele- 
brating his first shave to-day: an honest, cheese- 
paring fellow, in a good hour be it spoken. So let us 
drink deep 1 and keep up dinner till dawn." 

Just as he was speaking, a cock crew. The noise 74 
upset Trimalchio, and he had wine poured under the 
table, and even the lamp sprinkled with pure wine. 
Further, he changed a ring on to his right hand, and 
said, That trumpeter does not give his signal without 
a reason. Either there must be a fire, or some one. 
close by is just going to give up the ghost. Lord, save 
us ! So anyone who catches the informer shall have a 
re ward.' ' He had scarcely spoken, when the cock was 
brought in from somewhere near. Trimalchio ordered 
him to be killed and cooked in a saucepan. So he 
was cut up by the learned cook who had made birds 
and fishes out of a pig a little while before, and thrown 
into a cooking-pot. And while Daedalus took a long 
1 See note, p. 51. 
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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

ventissimam haurit, Fortunata mola buxea piper trivit. 
Sumptis igitur matteis respiciens ad familiam Tri- 
malchio ' Quid vos" inquit 'adhuc non cenastis? 
Abite, ut alii veniant ad officium/' Subiit igitur alia 
classis, et illi quidem - exclamavere : Vale Gai," hi 
autem: "Ave Gai.^fainc primum hilaritas nostra 
turbata est; nam cum puer non inspeciosus inter- 
novos intrasset ministros, invasit eum Trimalchio et 
osculari diutius coepit. Itaque Fortunata, ut ex aequo 
ius firmum approbaret, male dicere Trimalchioni 
coepit et purgamentum dedecusque praedicare, qui 
non contineret libidinem suam. Ultimo etiam adiecit : 
canis." Trimalchio contra ofFensus convicio calicem 
in faciem Fortunatae immisit. Ilia tanquam oculum 
perdidisset, exclamavit manusque trementes ad faciem 
suam admovi^ Consternata est etiam Scintilla trepi- 
dantemque sum suo texit. Immo puer quoque officio- 
sus urceolum frigidum ad malam eius admovit, super 
auem ' incumbens Fortunata gemere ac flere coepit. 
z^^ontra Trimalchio "Quid enim?" inquit "ambubaia 
non meminit, 1 sed de 2 machina 8 illam sustuli, 
hominem inter homines feci. At inflat se tanquam 
rana, et in sinum suum non spuit, 4 codex, non mulien^ 
Sed hie, qui in pergula natus est, aedes non somniatur. 
Ita genium meum propitium habeam, curabo, domata 
sit Cassandra caligaria. Et ego, homo dipundiarius, ses- 
tertium centies accipere potui. Scis tu me non men- 
tiri. Agatho, unguentarius herae proximae, seduxit 
me etiSuadeo' inquit 'non patiaris genus tuum inter- 
ire.y^Vt ego dum bonatus ago et nolo videri levis, 



146 



1 meminit Heinsius: me misit. 

2 sed He Buecheler: sede. 

3 machina Reiske: machillam. 

4 non spuit Reiske: conspuit. 



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SATYRICON 

drink very hot, Fortunata ground up pepper in a box- 
wood mill. 

After the good things were done, Trimalchio looked 
at the slaves and said, "Why have you not had dinner 
yet? Be off, and let some others come and wait." So 
another brigade appeared, and the old lot shouted, 
,Gaius, good-bye," and the new ones, "Hail! Gaius." 
fter this, our jollity received its first shock ; a rather 
comely boy came in among the fresh waiters, and 
Trimalchio took him and began to kiss him warmly. 
So Fortunata, to assert her rights at law, began to 
abuse Trimalchio, and called him a dirty disgrace for 
not behaving himself. At last she even added, You 
hound." Her cursing annoyed Trimalchio, and he let 
fly a cup in her face. She shrieked as if her eye had 
been nut out, and lifted her trembling hands to her 
face^Scintilla was frightened too, and shielded her 
quivering friend with her arms. While an officious 
slave held a cool little jar to her cheek, Fortunata 
leaned over it and began to groan and cry^^ut Tri- 
malchio said, "What is it all about? This chorus-girl 
has no memory, yet I took her off the sale-platform 
and made her one of ourselves. But she puffs herself 
up like a frog, and will not spit for luck ; a log she is, 
not a womaij^r But if you were born in a slum you 
cannot sleep in a palace. Damn my soul if I do not 
properly tame this shameless Cassandra. 1 And I might 
have married ten million, wretched fool that I was! 
You know I am speaking the truth. Agatho, the 
perfumer of the rich woman next door, took me 
aside and said, I entreat you not to let your family 
die out.*^feut I, being a good chap, didn't- wish to 

1 Cassmdra is a type of passion, and a Cassandra in top- 
boots (caligaria) is a brutal, strong woman. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

se mihi asciam in crus impegi. Recte, curabo, me 
iguibus quaeras. Et ut depraesentiarum intelligas, 
lid tibi feceris : Habinna, nolo, statuam eius in monu- 
ento meo ponas, ne mortuus quidem lites habeam. 
rimo, ut sciat me posse malum dare, nolo, me mor- 
um basiet^Jj^ 

Post hoc fulmen Habinnas rogare coepit, ut iam 
ssineret irasci et | "Nemo" inquit "nostrum non 
iccat. Homines sumus, non dei." | Idem et Scintilla 
jns dixit ac per genium eius Gaium appellando 
gare coepit, ut se frangeret. 1 Non tenuit ultra lacri- 
as Trimalchio et "Rogo" inquit "Habinna, sic pecu- 
lm tuum fruniscaris : si quid perperam feci, in faciem 
earn inspue. Puerum basiavi frugalissimum, non 
•opter formam, sed quia frugi est: decern partes 
cit, librum ab oculo legit, thraecium sibi de diariis 
cit, arcisellium de suo paravit et duas trullas. Non 
t dignus quern in oculis feram ? sed Fortunata vetat. 
a tibi videtur, fulcipedia ? suadeo, bonum tuum con- 
>quas, milva, et me non facias ringentem, amasiun- 
ila : alioquin experieris cerebrum meum. Nosti me : 
lod semel destinavi, clavo tabulari fixum est./Sed 
vorum meminerimus. Vos rogo, amici, ut vobis sua- 
ter sit. Nam ego quoque tarn fui quam vos estis, sed 
rtute mea ad hoc perveni^nUorcillum est quod ho- 
mes facit, cetera quisquilia omnia. 'Bene emo, 
jne vendo ' ; alius alia vobis dicet. Felicitate dissilio. 

1 se frangeret Heinsius; effrangeret. 
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SATYRICON 

seem fickle, and so I have stuck the axe into my 
own leg. Very well, I will make you want to dig me 
up with your finger-nails. But you shall understand 
what you have done for yourself straight away. 
Habinnas, do not put any statue of her on my tomb, 
or I shall have nagging even when I am dead. And 
to show that I can do. her a bad .turn, I will not have 
her kiss me even when I am laid out./r 
/After this flash of lightning Habinnas began to im- 75 
plore him to moderate his wrath. e We all have our 
faults/ ' he said, "we are men, not angels. '^Scintilla 
cried and said the same, called him Gaius an^ besought 
him by his guardian angel to unbend.^^Trimalchio 
no longer restrained his tears, and said, Habinnas, 
please, as you hope to enjoy your money, spit in my 
face if I have done anything wrong. I kissed that 
excellent boy not because he is beautiful, but because 
he is excellent: he can do division and read books 
at sight, he has bought a suit of Thracian armour 
out of his day's wages, purchased a round-backed 
chair with his own money, and two ladles. Does he 
not deserve to be treated well by me ? But Fortunata 
will not have it^s that your feeling, my high-heeled 
hussy? I advise you to chew what you have bitten 
off, you vulture, and not make me show my teeth, 
my little dear: otherwise you shall know what my 
anger is. Mark my words : when once my mind is 
made up, the thing is fixed with a ten-inch nail^But 
we will think of the living. Please make yourselves 
comfortable, gentlemen. I was once just what you 
are, but by my own merits I have come to this/^A bit 
of sound sense is what makes men ; the rest is all 
rubbish. I buy well and sell well ' : some people will 
tell you differently. I am bursting with happiness. 

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/^r TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

Tu autem, sterteia, etiamnum ploras? iam curabo, 
fatum tuum plores. Sed, ut coeperam dicere, ad 
hanc me fortunam frugalitas mea perduxit. Tarn ma- 
gnus ex Asia veni, quam hie eandelabrus est. Ad 
summam, quotidie me solebam ad ilium metiri, et lit 
celerius rostrum barbatum haberem, labra de lucerna 
ungebam^Tamen ad delicias [femina] 1 ipsimi [domini] 
annos quattuordecim fui. Nee turpe est, quod dominus 
iubet. Ego tamen et ipsimae [dominae] satis faciebam. 
Scitis, quid dicam : taceo, quia non sum de gloriosis. 
^^eterum, quemadmodum di volunt, dominus in domo 
jr factus sum,\t ecce cepi ipsimi cerebellum. Quid 
multa? coheredem me Caesari fecit, et accepi patri- 
monium laticlavium. Nemini tamen nihil satis est. 
Concupivi negotiari. Ne multis vos morer, quinque 
naves aedificavi, oneravi vinum — et tunc erat contra 
aurum — misi Romam. Putares me hoc iussisse : omnes 
naves naufragarunt, factum, non fabula. Uno die 
Neptunus trecenties sestertium devoravit. Putatis 
me defecisse ? Non mehercules mi haec iactura gnsti_ 
fuit, tanquam nihil facti. Alteras feci maiores et me- 
liores et feliciores, ut nemo non me virum fortem 
diceret. Scitis, magna navis magnam fortitudinem 
habet. Oneravi rursus vinum, lardum, fabam, sepla- 
sium, mancipia. Hoc loco Fortunata rem piam fecit ; 
omne enim aurum suum, omnia vestimenta vendidit 
et mi centum aureos in manu posuit. Hoc fuit 
peculii mei fermentum. Cito fit, quod di volunt. 

1 femina, domini, dominae bracketed by Buecheler. 
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/j SATYRICON 

What, you snorer in bed, are you still whining ? I will 
take care that you have something to whine over. 
Well, as I was just saying, self-denial has brought 
me into this fortune. When I came from Asia I was 
about as tall as this candle-stick. In fact I used to 
measure myself by it every day, and grease my lips 
from the lamp to grow a moustache the quicker^^ 
Still, I was my master's favourite for fourteen years* 
No disgrace in obeying your master's orders^ Well, 
I used to amuse my mistress too. You know what I 
mean; I say no more, I am not a conceited man. 
^Wien, as the Gods willed, I became the real master 76 
of the house, and simply had his brains in my pocket. 
I need only add that I was joint residuary legatee 
with Caesar, 1 and came into an estate fit for a senator. 
But no one is "satisfied with nothing. I conceived a 
passion for business. I will not keep you a moment — 
I built five ships, got a cargo of wine — which was 
worth its weight in gold at the time — and sent them 
to Rome. You may think it was a put-up job ; every 
one was wrecked, truth and no fairy-tales. Neptune 
gulped down thirty million in one day. Do you 
think I lost heart? Lord! no, I no more tasted my 
loss than if nothing had happened. I built some more, 
bigger, better and more expensive, so that no one 
could say I was not a brave man. You know, a huge 
ship has a certain security about her. I got another 
cargo of wine, bacon, beans, perfumes, and slaves. For- 
tunata did a noble thing at that time ; she sold all her 
jewellery and all her clothes, and put a hundred gold 
pieces into my hand. They were the leaven of my 
fortune. What God wishes soon happens. I made 

1 It was not uncommon, and often prudent, for a rich man 
under the early Empire to mention the Emperor in his will. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER y 

> cursu centies sestertium corrotundav^r Statim 
smi fundos omnes, qui patroni mei fuerant. Aedi- 
domum, venalicia coemo iumenta; quicquid tan- 
am, crescebat tanquam favus. Postquam coepi plus 
ere, quam tota patria mea habet, manujn^de tabula : 
uli me de negotiatione et coepi libertos faenerare. 
Mine nolentem me negotium meum agere exhorta- 
mathematicus, qui venerat forte in coloniam no- 
m, Graeculio, Serapa nomine, consiliator deorum. 

mihi dixit etiam ea, quae oblitus eram ; ab acia 
tcu mi omnia exposuit; intestinas meas noverat; 
:um quod mihi non dixerat, quid pridie cenaveram. 
asses ilium semper mecum habitasse. Rogo*, Ha- 
1a — puto, interfuisti — : Tu dominam tuam de 
us illis fecisti. Tu parum felix in amicos es. Nemo 
uam tibi parem gratiam refert. Tu latifundia pos- 
:s. Tu viperam sub ala nutricas' et, quod vobis non 
srim, et nunc mi restare vitae annos triginta et 
lses quattuor et dies duos. Praeterea cito accipiam 
editatem. Hoc mihi dicit fatus meus. Quod si 
tigerit fundos Apuliae iungere, satis vivus perve- 
o. ^nterim dum Mercurius vigilat, aedificavi hanc 
mm. Ut scitis, casula 1 erat; nunc templum est. 
bet quattuor cenationes, cubicula viginti, porticus 
moratos duos, susum cenationem, 2 cubiculum in 

ipse dormio, viperae huius sessorium, ostiarii cel- 

1 casula Heinsius: cusuc. 
3 cenationem Scheffer; cellationem, 
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SATYRICON 

a clear ten million on one voyage^ I at once bought 
up all the estates which had belonged to my patron. 
I built a house, and bought slaves and cattle ; what- 
ever I touched grew like a honey-comb. When I 
came to have more than the whole revenues of my 
own country, I threw up the game : I retired from 
active work and began to finance freedmen. I 
was quite unwilling to go on with my work when 
I was encouraged by an astrologer who happened 
to come to our town, a little Greek called Serapa, 
who knew the secrets of the Gods. He told 
me things that I had forgotten myself; explained 
everything from needle and thread upwards; knew 
my own inside, and only fell short of telling me what 
I had had for dinner the day before. You would 77 
have thought he had always lived with me. You 
remember, Habinnas? — I believe you were there? — 
( You fetched your wife from you know where. You 
are not lucky in your friends. No one is ever as grate- 
ful to you as you deserve. You are a man of property. 
You are nourishing a viperin your bosom/ and, though 
fmust not tell you this, that even now I had thirty 
years four months and two days left to live. - More- 
over I shall soon come into an estate. My oracle tells 
me so. If I could only extend my boundaries to 
Apulia I should have gone far enough for my lifetime. 
^rb/l eanwhile I built this house while Mercury watched 
over me. 1 As you know, it was a tiny place ; now it 
is a palace. It has four dining-rooms, twenty bed- 
rooms, two marble colonnades, an upstairs dining- 
room, a bedroom where I sleep myself, this viper's 
boudoir, an excellent room for the porter; there is 

1 Mercury was Trimalchio's patron. See note, p. 43. Also 
he was the god of gain and good luck, 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
lam perbonam ; hospitium hospites capit. Ad summam, 
Scaurus cum hue venit, nusquam mavoluit hospitari, 
et habet ad mare paternum hospitium. Et multa alia 
sunt, quae statim vobis ostendam. Credite mihi: 
assem habeas, assem valeas; habes, habeberis. Sic 
amicus vester, qui fuit rana, nunc est rexX^Interim. 
Stiche, profe^vitalia, in quibus volo me ederri. Profer 
et unguentum et ex ilia amphora gustum, ex qua 
iubeo lavari ossa mea." 
78 Non est moratus Stichus, sed et stragulam albam 

et praetextam in triclinium attulit 

iussitque nos temptare, an bonis lanis essent confecta. 
Turn subridens 'Vide tu" inquit Stiche, ne ista 
mures tangant aut tineae ? alioquin te vivum combu- 
ram. Ego gloriosus volo efferri, ut totus mihi populus 
bene imprecetur." Statim ampullam nardi aperuit 
omnesque nos unxit et "Spero" inquit 'futurum ut 
aeque me mortuum iuvet tanquam vivum.' ' Nam 
vinum quidem in vinarium iussit infundi et ' Putate 
vos" ait "ad parentalia mea invitatos esse." 

Ibat res ad summam nauseam, cum Trimalchio 
ebrietate turpissima gravis novum acroama, cornicines, 
in triclinium iussit adduci, fultusque cervicalibus 
mult is extendit se super torum extremum et Fingite 
me " inquit mortuum esse. Dicite aliquid belli." 
Consonuere cornicines funebri strepitu. Unus praeci- 
pue servus libitinarii illius, qui inter hos honestissimus 
erat, tarn valde intonuit, ut totam concitaret viciniam, 
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SATYRICON 

plenty of spare room for guests. In fact when Scaurus 
came he preferred staying here to anywhere else, and 
he has a family place by the sea. There are plenty 
of other things which I will show you in a minute. 
Take my word for it; if you have a penny, that is 
what you are worth ; by what a man hath shall he be 
reckoned. So your friend who was once a worm is 
now a kinc^Meanwhile, Stichus, bring me tfce grave- 
clothes in which I mean to be carried out. And some 
ointment, and a mouthful out of that jar which has 
to be poured over my bones/ ' 
nj Ina moment Stichus had fetched a white winding- 78 
sheet and dress into the dining-room and . . . [Trimal- 
chio] asked us to feel whether they were made of good 
wool. Then he gave a little laugh and said, "Mind 
neither mouse nor moth corrupts them, Stichus; 
otherwise I will burn you alive. I want to be carried 
out in splendour, so that the whole crowd calls down 
blessings on me." He immediately opened a flask 
and anointed us all and said, " I hope I shall like this 
as well in the grave as I do on earth." Besides this 
he ordered wine to be poured into a bowl, and said, 
Now you must imagine you have been asked to my 
funeral." 

The thing was becoming perfectly sickening, when 
Trimalchio, now deep in the most vile drunkenness, 
had a new set of performers, some trumpeters, brought 
into the dining-room, propped himself on a heap of 
cushions, and stretched himself on his death-bed, 
saying, " Imagine that I am dead. Play something 
pretty." The trumpeters broke into a loud funeral 
march. One man especially, a slave of the undertaker 
who was the most decent man in the party, blew such 
a mighty blast that the whole neighbourhood was 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

taque vigiles, qui custodiebant vicinam regionem, rati 
rdere Trimalchionis domum, effregerunt ianuam 
ibito et cum aqua securibusque tumultuari suo iure 
[>eperunt. Nos occasionem opportunissimam nacti 
Lgamemnoni verba dedimus raptimque tarn plane 
uam ex incendio fugimus. 

i | Neque fax ulla in praesidio erat, quae iter aperiret 
rrantibds, nee silentium noctis iam mediae promitte- 
at occurrentium lumen. Accedebat hue ebrietas et 
aprudentia locorum etiam interdiu obfutura. 1 Itaque 
nm hora paene tota per omnes scrupos gastrarumque 
minentium fragmenta traxissemus cruentos pedes, 
indem expliciti acumine Gitonis sumus. Prudens 
aim [pridie], cum luce etiam clara timeret errorem, 
nines pilas columnasque notaverat creta, quae 2 
ueamenta evicerunt spississimam noctem et notabili 
mdore ostenderunt errantibus viam. Quamvis non 
unus sudoris habuimus etiam postquam ad stabulum 
ervenimus. Anus enim ipsa inter deversitores diutius 
igurgitata ne ignem quidem admotum sensisset. Et 
>rsitan pernoctassemus in limine, ni tabellarius 
rimalchionis intervenisset X vehiculis dives. Non 
iu ergo tumultuatus stabuli ianuam effregit et nos 
er eandem intro 3 admisit . . . 

Qualis nox fuit ilia, di deaeque, 
quam mollis torus. Haesimus calentes 
et transfudimus hinc et hinc labellis 
errantes animas. Valete, curae 
mortalis. Ego sic perire coepi. 

1 obfutura Buecheler: obscura. 
s creta» quae Puteanus: certaque. 
'intro Bourdelot ; terrain. 

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SATYRICON 

roused. The watch, 1 who were patrolling the streets 
close by, thought Trimalchio's house was alight, and 
suddenly burst in the door and began with water and 
axes to do their duty in creating a disturbance. My 
friends and I seized this most welcome opportunity, 
outwitted Agamemnon, and took to our heels as 
quickly as if there were a real fire. 

There was no guiding torch to show us the way as 79 
we wandered ; it was now midnight, and the silence 
gave us no prospect of meeting anyone with a light. 
Moreover we were drunk, and our ignorance of the 
quarter would have puzzled us even in the daytime. 
So after dragging our bleeding feet nearly a whole 
hour over the flints and broken pots which lay out in the 
road, we were at last put straight by Giton's cleverness. 
The careful child had been afraid of losing his way 
even in broad daylight, and had marked all the posts 
and columns with chalk ; these lines shone through the 
blackest night, and their brilliant whiteness directed 
our lost footsteps. But even when we reached our 
lodgings our agitation was not relieved. For our friend 
the old woman had had a long night swilling with her 
lodgers, and would not have noticed if you had set 
a light to her. We might have had to sleep on the 
doorstep if Trimalchio's courier had not come up in 
state with ten carts. After making a noise for a little 
while he broke down the house-door and let us in by it. . . 

Ah ! gods and goddesses, what a night that was, how 
soft was the^ bed. We lay in a warm embrace and 
with kisses everywhere made exchange of our wander- 
ing spirits. Farewell, all earthly troubles. So began 
my destruction. 

1 Either a municipal or a private brigade of firemen or 
-watchmen. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

sine causa gratulor mihi. Nam cum solutus mero remi- 
sissem 1 ebrias manus, Ascyltos, omnis iniuriae inven- 
tor, subduxit mihi nocte puerum et in lectum transtulit 
suum, volutatusque liberius cum fratre non suo, sive 
non sentiente iniuriam sive dissimulante, indormivit 
alienis amplexibus oblitus iuris humani. Itaque ego 
ut experrectus pertrectavigaudio despoliatum torum . . . 
Si qua est amantibus fides, ego dubitavi, an utrumque 
traicerem gladlo somnumque morti iungerem. Tutius 
dein secutus consilium Gitona quidem verberibus ex 
citavi, Ascylton autem truci intuens vultu quoniam " 
inquam fidem scelere violasti et communem amici- 
tiam, res tuas ocius tolle et alium locum, quern polluas, 
quaere." 

Non repugnavit ille, sed postquam optima fide 
80 par tit i manubias sumus, ' age" inquit nunc et 
puerum dividamus." Iocari putabam discedentem. 
At ille gladium parricidali manu strinxit et non 
frueris " inquit hac praeda, super quam solus incum- 
bis. partem meam necesse est vel hoc gladio con- 
temptus abscidam." 2 Idem ego ex altera parte feci et- 
intorto circa brachium pallio composui ad proeliandum 
gradum. Inter hanc miserorum dementiam infelicissi- 
mus puer tangebat utriusque genua cum fletu 
petebatque suppliciter, ne Thebanum par humilis 
taberna spectaret, neve sanguine mutuo pollueremus 
familiaritatis clarissimae sacra. Quod si utique " 
proclamabat " facinore opus est, nudo ecce iugulum, 
convertite hue manus, imprimite mucrones. Ego mori 
debeo, qui amicitiae sacramentum delevi. ' ' Inhibuimus 
ferrum post has preces, et prior Ascyrtos * ego " inquit 
finem discordiae imponam. Puer ipse, quern vult, 

1 rem\s\ssem Jacobs : amisissem. 

2 contempt us Burmann: contentus. 
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SATYRICON 

I blessed my luck too soon. I was overcome with 
drink and let my shaking hands fall, and then Ascyltos, 
that fountain of all wickedness, took my little friend 
away et in lectum transtulit suum, volutatusque lfbe- 
rius cum fratre non suo, sive non sentiente iniuriam 
sive dissimulante, indormivit alienis amplexibus oblitus 
iuris humani. Itaque ego ut experrectus pertrectavi 
gaudio despoliatum torum ... Si qua est amantibus 
fides, ego dubitavi, an utrumque traicerem gladio som- 
numque morti iungerem. Tutius dein secutus consi- 
lium Gitona quidem verberibus excitavi, I looked 
angrily at Ascyltos and said, " As you have wickedly 
broken our agreement and the friendship between us, 
collect your things at once, and find some other place 
to corrupt." 

He did not resist, but after we had divided our 80 
spoils with scrupulous honesty he said, And now we 
must divide the boy too. ' ' I thought this was a parting 
joke. But he drew his sword murderously, and said, 
" You shall not enjoy this treasure that you brood over 
all alone. I am rejected, but I must carve off my 
share too, even with this sword." 

So I did the same on my side; wrapped my cloak 
round my arm and put myself in position for a fight. 
As we raved in folly, the poor boy touched our knees, 
and humbly besought us with tears not to let that 
quiet lodging-house be the scene of a Theban duel, or 
stain the sanctitv of a beautiful friendship with each 
other s blood. But if you must commit your crime/ ' 
he cried, look here, here is my throat. Turn your 
hands this way and imbrue your blades. I deserve to 
die for breaking the oath of friendship/ ' We put up 
our swords at his prayers, and Ascyltos spoke first, '* I 
will put an end to this quarrel. Let the boy follow 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

sequatur, ut sit illi saltern in eligendo fratre [salva[ 
libertas." Ego qui vetustissimam consuetudinem 
putabam in sanguinis pignus transisse, nihil timui, 
immo condicionem praecipiti festinatione rapui com- 
misique iudici litem, qui ne deliberavit quidem, ut 
videretur cunctatus, verum statim ab extrema parte 
verbi consurrexit et fratrem Ascylton elegit. Fulmi- 
natus hac pronuntiatione, sic ut eram, sine gladio in 
lectulum decidi, et attulissem mihi damnatus manus, 
si non inimici victoriae invidissem. Egreditur superbus 
cum praemio Ascyltos et paulo ante carissimum sibi 
commilitonem fortunaeque etiam similitudine parem 
in loco peregrino destituit abiectum. 
LO | Nomen amicitiae sic, quatenus expedit, haeret; 

calculus in tabula mobile ducit opus. 
Cum fortuna manet, vultum servatis, amici ; 

cum cecidit, turpi vertitis ora fuga. 



Grex agit in scaena minium : pater ille vocatur, 

filius hie, nomen divitis ille tenet. 
Mox ubi ridendas inclusit pagina partes, 
vera redit facies, dum simulata 1 perit. . . . 
81 Nee diu tamen lacrimis indulsi, sed veritus, ne 
Menelaus etiam antescholanus inter cetera mala 
solum me in deversorio inveniret, collegi sarcinulas 
locumque secretum et proximum litori maestus 
conduxi. Ibi triduo inclusus redeunte in animum 
solitudine atque contemptu verberabam aegrum 
L planctibus pectus | et inter tot altissimos gemitus 

1 dum simulata Buecheler: dissimulata. 
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SATYRICON 

the one he prefers, so' that he at any rate may have a 
free choice of brothers." 

I had no fears, imagining that long-standing famili- 
arity had passed into a tie of blood, and I accepted 
the arrangement in hot haste, and referred the dispute 
to the judge. He did not even pretend to take time 
to consider, but got up at once as I finished speaking, 
and chose Ascyltos for his brother. I was thunder- 
struck at his choice, and fell down on the bed just as 
I was, without my sword ; I should have committed 
suicide at the sentence if I had not grudged my enemy 
this triumph. Ascyltos went stalking out with his 
winnings, and left his comrade, whom he had loved a 
little while before, and whose fortunes had been so like 
his own, in despair in a strange place. 

The name of friendship endures so long as there is 
profit in it : the counter on the board plays a change- 
able game. While my luck holds you give me your 
smiles, my friends ; when it is out, you turn your faces 
away in shameful flight. 

A company acts a farce on the stage : one is called 
the father, one the son, and one is labelled the Rich 
Man. Soon the comic parts are shut in a book, the 
men's real faces come back, and the make-up disap- 
pears. 

But still I did not spend much time in weeping. I 8 1 
was afraid that Menelaus the tutor 1 might increase my 
troubles by finding me alone in the lodgings, so I got 
together my bundles and took a room in a remote 
place right on the beach. I shut myself up there for > 
three days ; I was haunted by the thought that I was 
deserted and despised ; I beat my breast, already worn 
with blows, groaned deeply and even cried aloud many 
1 See p. 37 note. 
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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

frequenter etiam proclamabam: "ergo me non ruina 
terra potuit haurire? Non iratum etiam innocenti- 
bus mare ? Effugi iudicium, harenae imposui, hospi- 
tem occidi, ut inter tot audaciae nomina mendicus, 
exul, in deversorio Graecae urbis iacerem desertus? 
Et quis hanc mihi solitudinem imposuit? Adulescens 
omni libidine impurus et sua quoque confessione di- 
gnus exilio, stupro liber, stupro ingenuus, cuius anni ad 
tesseram venierunt, quern tanquam puellam conduxit 
etiam qui virum putavit. Quid ille alter? Qui [tan- 
quam] die 1 togae virilis stolam sumpsit, qui ne vir 
esset, a matre persuasus est, qui opus muliebre in 
ergastulo fecit, qui postquam cbnturbavit et libidinis 
suae solum vertit, reliquit veteris amicitiae nomen et, 
pro pudor, tanquam mulier secutuleia unius noctis 
tactu omnia vendidit. Iacent nunc amatores obligati 
noctibus totis, et forsitan mutuis libidinibus attriti 
derident solitudinem meam. Sed non impune. Nam 
aut vir ego liberque non sum, aut noxio sanguine 
parentabo iniuriae meae." 
82 Haec locutus gladio latus cingo, et ne innrmitas 
militiam perderet, largioribus cibis excito vires. Mox 
in publicum prosilio furentisque more omnes circum- 
eo porticus. Sed dum attonito vultu efFeratoque 
nihil aliud quam caedem et sanguinem cogito fre- 
quentiusque manum ad c^pulum, quern devoveram, 
refero, notavit me miles, sive ille planus fuit sive 
nocturnus grassator, et "Quid tu'* inquit "commilito, 
ex qua legione es aut cuius centuria?" Cum con- 
stantissime et centurionem et legionem essem ementi- 
tus, Age ergo" inquit ille "in exercitu vestro 

1 alter die qui tanquam togae MSS. 
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SATYRICON 

times, Could not the earth have opened and swal- 
lowed me, or the sea that shows her anger even 
against the innocent? I fled from justice, I cheated 
the ring, I killed my host, and with all these badges 
of courage I am left forsaken in lodgings in a Greek 
town, a beggar and an exile. And who condemned 
me to loneliness ? A young man tainted by excess of 
every kind, deserving banishment even by his own 
admission, a free, yes, a free-born debauchee ; his youth 
was wasted in gambling, and even those who supposed 
him to be a man treated him like a girl. And his 
friend? A boy who went into skirts instead of 
trousers, whose mother persuaded him never to grow 
up, who was the common sport of the slaves' quarters, 
who after going bankrupt, and changing the tune of 
his vices, has broken the ties of an old friendship, and 
shamelessly sold everything in a single night's work 
like a common woman. Now the lovers lie all night 
long in each other's arms, and very likely laugh at my 
loneliness when they are tired out. But they shall 
suffer for it. I am no man, and no free citizen, if I do 
not avenge my wrongs with their hateful blood." 

With these words I put on my sword, and recruited 82 
my strength with a square meal to prevent my losing 
the battle through weakness. I rushed out of doors 
at once, and went round all the arcades like a madman. 
My face was as of one dumbfoundered with fury, I 
thought of nothing but blood and slaughter, and kept 
putting my hand to the sword-hilt which I had conse- 
crated to the work. Then a soldier, who may have 
been a swindler or a footpad, noticed me, and said, 
" Hullo, comrade, what regiment and company do you 
belong to?" I lied stoutly about my captain and my 
regiment, and he said, Well, do soldiers in your 
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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
phaecasiati milites ambulant?" Cum deinde vultu 
atque ipsa trepidatione mendacium prodidissem, po- 
nere me iussit arma et malo cavere. Despoliatus 
ergOjimmo praecisa ultione retro ad deversorium tendo 
paulatimque temeritate laxata coepi grassatoris auda- 
ciae gratias agere . . . 

Non bibet inter aquas poma aut pendentia carpit 
Tantalus infelix, quern sua vota premunt. 

Divitis haec magni facies erit, omnia cernens 
qui timet et sicco concoquit ore famem. . . . 

Non multum oportet consilio credere, quia suam 
habet fortuna rationem . . . 
83 In pinacothecam perveni vario genere tabularum 
mirabilem. Nam et Zeuxidos manus vidi nondum 
vetustatis iniuria victas, et Protogenis rudimenta cum 
ipsius naturae veritate certantia non sine quodam 
horrore tractavi. lam vero Apellis quam Graeci 
novo Kvrffjiov appellant, etiam adoravi. Tanta enim 
subtilitate extremitates imaginum erant ad similitudi- 
nem praecisae, ut crederes etiam animorum esse 
picturam. Hinc aquila ferebat caelo sublimis Idaeum, 1 
illinc candidus Hylas repellebat improbam Naida. 
Damnabat Apollo noxias manus lyramque resolutam 
modo nato flore honorabat. Inter quos etiam picto- 
rum amantium vultus tanquam in solitudine exclamavi : 

1 Idaeum Wehl : deum. 
164 



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SATYRICON 

force walk about in white shoes?" My expression 
and my trembling showed that I had lied, and he 
ordered me to hand over my arms and look out for 
myself. So I was not only robbed, but my revenge 
was nipped in the bud. I went back to the inn, 
and by degrees my courage cooled, and I began to 
bless the footpad's effrontery. . . . 

Poor Tantalus stands in water and never drinks, 
nor plucks the fruit above his head : his own desires 
torment him. So must a rich great man look when, 
with everything before his eyes, he fears starvation, 
and digests hunger dry-mouthed. ... * 

It is not much use depending upon calculation when 
Fate has methods of her own. . . . 

I came into a gallery hung with a wonderful collec- 83 
tion of various pictures. I saw the works of Zeuxis 
not yet overcome by the defacement of time, and I i 
studied with a certain terrified wonder the rough 
drawings of Protogenes, which rivalled the truth of 
Nature herself. But when I came to the work of Apelles 
the Greek which is called the One-legged, I positively 
worshipped it. For the outlines of his figures were de- 
fined with such subtle accuracy, that you would have 
declared that he had painted their souls as well. In one 
the eagle was carrying the Shepherd of Ida 1 on high to 
heaven, and in another fair Hylas resisted a torment- 
ing Naiad. Apollo 2 passed judgement on his accursed 
hands, and adorned his unstrung lyre with the new- 
born flower. I cried out as if I were in a desert, 
among these faces of mere painted lovers, "So even 

1 Ganymede, who became the cupbearer of Jupiter. 

2 Apollo killed Hyacinthus, a Spartan boy whom he loved, 
by a mis-throw of the discus. The hyacinth flower sprang up 
from the boy's blood. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

Ergo amor etiam deos tangit. Iuppiter in caelo suo 
non invenit quod diligeret, 1 sed peccaturus in terris 
nemini tamen iniuriam fecit. Hylan Nympha prae- 
data temperasset 2 amori suo, si venturum ad interdi- 
ctum Herculem credidisset. Apollo pueri umbram 
revocavit in florem, et omnes fabulae quoque sine 
aemulo habuerunt complexus. At ego in societatem 
recepi hospitem Lycurgo crudeliorem." 

Ecce autem, ego -dum cum ventis litigo, intravit 
pinacothecam senex canus, exercitati vultus et qui 
videretur nescio quid magnum promittere, sed cultu 
non proinde speciosus, ut facile appareret eum ex hac 
nota litteratum esse, quos odisse divites solent. Is 
ergo ad latus constitit meum . . . 

" Ego " inquit "poeta sum et ut spero, non humil- 
limi spiritus, si modo coronis aliquid credendum est, 
quas etiam ad immeritos 8 deferre gratia solet. 'Quare 
ergo* inquis 'tarn male vestitus es?' Propter hoc 
ipsum. Amor ingenii neminem unquam divitem fecit. 
LO | Qui pelago credit, magno se faenore tollit; 

qui pugnas et castra petit, praecingitur auro ; 
vilis adulator picto iacet ebrius ostro, 
et qui sollicitat nuptas, ad praemia peccat : 
sola pruinosis horret facundia pannis 
atque inopi lingua desertas invocat artes. 
84 Non dubie ita est : si quis vitiorum omnium inimicus 
rectum iter vitae coepit insistere, 4 primum propter 
morum differentiam odium habet; quis enim potest 
probare diversa ? Deinde qui solas extruere divitias 

1 diligeret sed Jacobs : eligeret et. 

2 temperasset Buecheler : imperasset. 
8 immeritos Buecheler: imperitos. 

4 insistere cod, Messaniensis : inspicere other MSS. 

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SATYRICON 

the gods feel love. Jupiter in his heavenly home 
could find no object for his passion, and came down j 
on earth to sin, yet did no one any harm. The Nymph ' 
who ravished Hylas would have restrained her passion 
had she believed that Hercules would come to dispute 
her claim. Apollo recalled the ghost of a boy into a 
flower, and all the stories tell of love's embraces with- 
out a rival. But I have taken for my comrade a 
friend more cruel than Lycurgus himself/ ' 

Suddenly, as I strove thus with the empty air, a 
white-haired old man 1 came into the gallery. His face 
was troubled, but there seemed to be the promise of 
some great thing about him ; though he was shabby in 
appearance, so that it was quite plain by this charac- 
teristic that he was a man of letters, of the kind that 
rich men hate. He came and stood by my side. . . . 

' I am a poet," he said, and one, I hope, of no mean 
imagination, if one can reckon at all by crowns of honour, 
which gratitude can set even on unworthy heads. ' Why 
are you so badly dressed, then ? ' you ask. For that very 
reason. The worship of genius never made a man rich. 

"The man who trusts the sea consoles himself with 
high profits ; the man who follows war and the camp 
is girded with gold; the base flatterer lies drunk on 
a couch of purple dye ; the man who tempts young 
wives gets money for his sin ; eloquence alone shivers 
in rags and cold, and calls upon a neglected art with 
unprofitable tongue. 

'Yes, that is certainly true : if a man dislikes all 84 
vices, and begins to tread a straight path in life, he is 
hated first of all because his character is superior; for 
who is able to like what differs from himself? Fur- 
ther, those who only trouble about heaping up riches, 
1 Eumolpus. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

curant, nihil volunt inter homines melius credi, quam 
quod ipsi tenent. Insectantur 1 itaque, quacunque 
ratione possunt, litterarum amatores, ut videantur 
illi quoque infra pecuniam positi" . . . 
L | 'Nescio quo modo bonae mentis soror est pauper- 
tas" . . . 

"Vellem, tam innocens esset frugalitatis meae 
hostiSj ut deliniri posset. Nunc veteranus est latro 
et ipsis lenonibus doctior" . . . 
85 "in Asiam cum a quaestore essem stipendio eductus, 
hospitium Pergami accepi. Ubi cum libenter habi- 
tarem non solum propter cultum aedicularum, sed 
etiam propter hospitis formosissimum filium, excogitavi 
rationem, qua non essem patri familiae suspectus 
amator. Quotiescunque enim in convivio de usu 
formosorum mentio facta est, tam vehementer ex- 
candui, tam severa tristitia violari aures meas obsceno 
sermone nolui, ut me mater praecipue tanquam unum 
ex philosophis intueretur. lam ego coeperam ephebum 
in gymnasium deducere, ego studia eius ordinare, ego 
docere ac praecipere, ne quis praedator corporis ad- 
mitteretur in domum . . . 

Forte cum in triclinio iaceremus, quia dies sollemnis 
ludum artaverat pigritiamque recedendi imposuerat 
hilaritas longior, fere circa mediam noctem intellexi 
puerum vigilare. Itaque timidissimo murmure votum 
feci et domina , inquam Venus, si ego hunc puerum 
basiavero, ita ut ille non sentiat, eras illi par colum- 
barum donabo/ Audito voluptatis pretio puer ster- 
tere coepit. Itaque aggressus simulantem aliquot 
basiolis invasi. Contentus hoc principio bene mane 
surrexi electumque par columbarum attuli expectanti 
1 insectantur Buecheler : iactantur. 
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SATYRICON 

do not want anything to be considered better than 
what is in their own hands. So they persecute men 
with a passion for learning in every possible way, to 
make them also look an inferior article to money. . . . 

"Somehow or other poverty is own sister to good 
sense. . . . 

" I wish he that hates me for my virtue were so guilt- 
less that he might be mollified. As it is he is a past 
master of robbery, and more clever than any pimp." 

In Asiam cum a quaestore essem stipendio eductus, 85 
hospitium Pergami accepi. Ubi cum libenter habi- 
tarem non solum propter cultum aedicularum, sed 
etiam propter hospitis formosissimum filium, excogitavi 
rationem, qua non essem patri familiae suspectus 
amator. Quotiescunque enim in convivio de usu 
formosorum mentio facta est, tarn vehementer ex- 
candui, tarn severa tristitia violari aures meas obsceno 
sermone nolui, ut me mater praecipue tanquam unum 
ex philosophis intueretur. lam ego coeperam ephebum 
in gymnasium deducere, ego studia eius ordinare, ego 
docere ac praecipere, ne quis praedator corporis ad- 
mitteretur in domum . . . 

Forte cum in triclinio iaceremus, quia dies sollemnis 
ludum artaverat pigritiamque recedendi imposuerat 
hilaritas longior, fere circa mediam noctem intellexi 
puerum vigilare. Itaque timidissimo murmure votum 
feci et domina' inquam Venus, si ego hunc puerum 
basiavero, ita ut ille non sentiat, eras illi par colum- 
barum donabo.' Audito voluptatis pretio puer ster- 
tere coepit. Itaque aggressus simulantem aliquot 
basiolis invasi. Contentus hoc principio bene mane 
surrexi electumque par columbarum attuli expectanti 

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TITUS PETRON1US ARBITER 

86 ac me voto exsolvi. Proxima nocte cum idem liceret, 
mutavi optionem et ' si hunc ' inquam ' tractavero im- 
proba manu, et ille non senserit, gallos gallinaceos 
pugnacissimos duos donabo patienti.' Ad hoc votum 
ephebus ultro se admovit et, puto, vereri coepit, ne 
ego obdormiscerem. Indulsi ergo sollicito, totoque 
corpore citra summam voluptatem me ingurgitavi. 
Deinde ut dies venit, attuli gaudenti quicquid promise- 
ram. Ut tertia nox licentiam dedit, consurrexi . . . 
ad aurem male dormientis *dii' inquam ' immortal es, 
si ego huic dormienti abstulero coitum plenum et 
optabilem, pro hac felicitate eras puero asturconem 
Macedonicum optimum donabo, cum hac tamen ex- 
ceptione, si ille non senserit.' Nunquam altiore 
somno ephebus obdormivit. Itaque primum implevi 
lactentibus papillis manus, mox basio inhaesi, deinde 
in unum omnia vota coniunxi. Mane sedere in 
cubiculo coepit atque expectare consuetudinem meam. 
Scis quanto facilius sit, columbas gallosque gallinaceos 
emere quam asturconem, et praeter hoc etiam timebam, 
ne tam grande munus suspectam faceret humanitatem 
meam. Ego aliquot horis spatiatus in hospitium reverti 
nihilque aliud quam puerum basiavi. At ille circum- 
spiciens ut cervicem meam iunxit amplexu, rogo* 
inquit domine, ubi est asturco?" . . . 

87 Cum ob hanc offensam praeclusissem mihi aditum, 
quern feceram, iterum ad licentiam redii. Interpositis 
enim paucis diebus, cum similis casus iios in eandem 
fortunam rettulisset, ut intellexi stertere patrem, 
rogare coepi ephebum, ut reverteretur in gratiam 
mecum, id est ut pateretur satis fieri sibi, et cetera 
quae libido distenta dictat. At ille plane iratus nihil 
aliud dicebat nisi hoc : "aut dormi, aut ego iam dicam 
patri." Nihil est tam arduum, quod non improbitas 

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SATYRICON 

ac me voto exsolvi. Proxima nocte cum idem liceret, 86 
mutavi optionem et si hunc ' inquam ' tractavero im- 
proba manu, et ille non senserit, gallos gallinaceos 
pugnacissimos duos donabo patienti,' Ad hoc votum 
ephebus ultro se admovit et, puto, vereri coepit, ne 
ego obdormiscerem. Indulsi ergo sollicito, totoque 
corpore citra summam voluptatem me ingurgitavi. 
Deinde ut dies venit, attuli gaudenti quicquid promise- 
ram. Ut tertia nox licentiam dedit, consurrexi . . . 
ad aurem male dormientis dii ' inquam immortales, 
si ego huic dormienti abstulero coitum plenum et 
optabilem, pro hac felicitate eras puero asturconem 
Macedonicum optimum donabo, cum hac tamen ex- 
ceptione, si ille non senserit/ Nunquam altiore 
somno ephebus obdormivit. Itaque primum implevi 
lactentibus papillis manus, mox basio inhaesi, deinde 
in unum omnia vota coniunxi. Mane sedere in 
cubiculo coepit atque expectare consuetudinem meam. 
Scis quanto facilius sit, columbas gallosque gallinaceos 
emere quam asturconem, et praeter hoc etiam timebam, 
ne tarn grande munus suspectam faceret humanitatem 
meam. Ego aliquot horis spatiatus in hospitium reverti 
nihilque aliud quam puerum basiavi. At ille circum- 
spiciens ut cervicem meam iunxit amplexu, rogo ' 
inquit domine, ubi est asturco? " . . . 

Cum ob hanc offensam praeclusissem mihi aditum, 87 
quern feceram, iterum ad licentiam redii. Interpositis 
enim paucis diebus, cum similis casus nos in eandem 
fortunam rettulisset, ut intellexi sterlere patrem, 
rogare coepi ephebum, ut reverteretur in gratiam 
mecum, id est ut pateretur satis fieri sibi, et cetera 
quae libido distenta dictat. At ille plane iratus nihil 
aliud dicebat nisi hoc : " aut dormi, aut ego iam dicam 
patri." Nihil* est tam arduum, quod non improbitas 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

extorqueat. Dum dicit: 'patrem excitabo," irrepsi 
tamen et male repugnanti gaudium extorsi. At ille 
non indelectatus nequitia mea, postquam diu questus 
est deceptum se et derisum traductumque inter con- 
discipulos, quibus iactasset censum meum, videris 
tamen" inquit ' non ero tui similis. Si quid vis, fac 
iterum. ,, Ego vero deposita omni ofFensa cum puero 
in gratiam redii ususque beneficio eius in somnum 
delapsus sum. Sed non fuit contentus iteratione ephe- 
bus plenae maturitatis et annis ad patiendum gesti- 
entibus. Itaque excitavit me sopitum et ' numquid 
vis?" inquit. Et non plane iam molestum erat munus. 
Utcunque igitur inter anhelitus sudoresque tritus, 
quod voluerat, accepit, rursusque in somnum decidi 
gaudio lassus. Interposita minus hora pungere me 
manu coepit et dicere: quare non facimus?" turn 
ego totiens excitatus plane vehementer excandui et 
reddidi illi voces suas : aut dormi, aut ego iam patri 
dicam ,,, . . . 
8 8 Erectus his sermonibus consulere prudentiorem coepi 
# aetates tabularum et quaedam argumenta mihi obscu- 
ra simulque causam desidiae praesentis excutere, 
cum pulcherrimae artes perissent, inter quas pictura 
ne minimum quidem sui vestigium reliquisset. Turn 
ille pecuniae" inquit cupiditas haec tropica insti- 
LO tuit. | Priscis enim temporibus, cum adhuc nuda virtus 
placeret, vigebant artes ingenuae summumque certa- 
men inter homines erat, ne quid profuturum saeculis 
diu lateret. Itaque herbarum omnium sucos Demo- 
critus expressit, et ne lapidum virgultorumque vis 
lateret, aetatem inter experimenta consumpsit. Eu- 
doxos [quidem] in cacumine excelsissimi montis con- 

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SATYRICON 

extorqueat. Dum dicit: patrem excitabo," irrepsi 
tamen et male repugnanti gaudium extorsi. At ille 
non indelectatus nequitia mea, postquam diu questus 
est deceptum se et derisum traductumque inter con- 
discipulos, quibus iactasset censum meum, "videris 
tamen ,, inquit non ero tui similis. Si quid vis, fac 
iterum." Ego vero deposita omni ofFensa cum puero 
in gratiam redii ususque beneficio eius in somnum 
delapsus sum. Sed non fuit contentus iteratione ephe- 
bus plenae maturitatis et annis ad patiendum gesti- 
entibus. Itaque excitavit me sopitum et "numquid 
vis ? " inquit. Et non plane iam molestum erat munus. 
Utcunque igitur inter anhelitus sudoresque tritus, 
quod voluerat, accepit, rursusque in somnum decidi 
gaudio lassus. Interposita minus hora pungere me 
manu coepit et dicere : Square non facimus?" turn 
ego totiens excitatus plane vehementer excandui et 
reddidi illi voces suas : aut dormi, aut ego iam patri 
dicam'" . . . 

Encouraged by his conversation, I began to draw on 88 
his knowledge about the age of the pictures, and about 
some of the stories which puzzled me, and at the same 
time to discuss the decadence of the age, since the 
fine arts had died, and painting, for instance, had left 
no trace of its existence behind. 'Love of money 
began this revolution," he replied. In former ages 
virtue was still loved for her own sake, the noble arts 
flourished, and there were the keenest struggles 
among mankind to prevent anything being long un- 
discovered which might benefit posterity. So Demo- 
critus extracted the juice of every plant on earth, and 
spent his whole life in experiments to discover the 
virtues of stones and twigs. Eudoxos grew old on the 
top of a high mountain in order to trace the move- 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

senuit, ut astrorum caelique motus deprehenderet, et 
Chrysippus, ut ad inventionem sufficeret, ter elleboro 
animum detersit. Verum ut ad plastas convertar, 
Lysippum statuae unius lineameiitis inhaerentem in- 
opia extinxit, et Myron, qui paene animas hominum 
ferarumque aere comprehenderat, non invenit here- 
dem. At nos vino scortisque demersi ne paratas 
quidem artes audemus cognoscere, sed accusatores 
antiquitatis vitia tantum docemus et discimus. Ubi 
est dialectica? Ubi astronomia ? Ubi sapientiae cul- 
tissima 1 via ? Quis unquam venit in templum et votum 
fecit, si ad eloquentiam pervenisset? Quis, si philo- 
sophiae fontem attigisset? Ac ne bonam quidem 
mentem aut bonam valitudinem petunt, sed statim 
antequam limen Capitolii tangant, alius donum pro- 
mi ttit, si propinquum divitem extulerit, alius, si the— 
saurum efFoderit, alius, si ad trecenties sestertium 
salvus pervenerit. Ipse senatus, recti bonique prae- 
ceptor, mille pondo auri Capitolio promittere solet, et 
ne quis dubitet pecuniam concupiscere, Iovem quoque 
peculio exornat. Noli ergo mirari, si pictura defecit, 
cum omnibus diis hominibusque formosior videatur 
massa auri, quam quicquid Apelles Phidiasque, Grae- 
89 culi delirantes, fecerunt. Sed video te totum in ilia 
haerere tabula, quae Troiae halosin ostendit. Itaque 
conabor opus versibus pandere : 

lam decima maestos inter ancipites metus 
Phrygas obsidebat messis et vatis fides 
Calchantis atro dubia pendebat metu, 
cum Delio profante caesi vertices 
Idae trahunturj scissaque in molem cadunt 

1 cultissima cod. Paris, 6842 D : consultissima other MSS. 
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SATYRICON 

ments of the stars and the sky, and Chrysippus three 
times cleared his wits with hellebore to improve his 
powers of invention. If you turn to sculptors, Lysip- 
pus died of starvation as he brooded over the lines of 
a single statue, and Myron, who almost caught the 
very soul of men and beasts in bronze, left no heir 
behind him. But we are besotted with wine and 
women, and cannot rise to understand even the arts 
that are developed ; we slander the past, and learn and 
teach nothing but vices. Where is dialectic now, or 
astronomy ? Where is the exquisite way of wisdom ? 
WTio has ever been to a temple and made an offering 
in order to attain to eloquence, or to drink of the waters 
of philosophy ? They do not even ask for good sense 
or good health, but before they even touch the thres- 
hold of the Capitol, one promises an offering if he 
may bury his rich neighbour, another if he may 
dig up a hid treasure, another if he may make thirty 
millions in safety. Even the Senate, the teachers of 
what is right and good, often promise a thousand 
pounds in gold to the Capitol, and decorate even 
Jupiter with pelf, that no one need be ashamed of 
praying for money. So there is nothing surprising in 
the decadence of painting, when all the gods and men 
think an ingot of gold more beautiful than anything 
those poor crazy Greeks, Apelles and Phidias, ever did. 

But I see your whole attention is riveted on that 89 
picture, which represents the fall of Troy. Well, I 
will try and explain the situation in verse : 

It was now the tenth harvest of the siege of the 
Trojans, who were worn with anxious fear, and the 
honour of Calchas the prophet stood wavering in dark 
dread, when at Apollo's bidding the wooded peaks of 
Ida were felled and dragged down, and the sawn 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

robora, minacem quae figurareht 1 equum, 
Aperitur ingens antrum et obducti specus, 
qui castra caperent. Hue decenni proelio 
irata virtus abditur, stipant graves 
Danai recessus, in suo voto latent. 
O patria, pulsas mille credidimus rates 
solumque bello liberum : hoc titulus fero 
incisuS; hoc ad furta 2 compositus Sinon 
firmabat et mens semper 3 in damnum potens. 

lam turba portis libera ac bello carens 
in vota properat. Fletibus manant genae 
mentisque pavidae gaudium lacrimas habet, 
quas metus abegit. Namque Neptuno sacer 
crinem solutus omne Laocoon replet 
clamore vulgus. Mox reducta cuspide 
uterum notavit, fata sed tardant manus, 
ictusque resilit et dolis addit fidem. 
Iterum tamen confirmat invalidam manum 
altaque bipenni latera pertemptat. Fremit 
captiva pubes intus et, dum murmurat, 
roborea moles spirat alieno metu. 
Ibat iuventus capta, dum Troiam capit, 
bellumque totum fraude ducebat nova. 

Ecce alia monstra : celsa qua Tenedos mare 
dorso replevit, tumida consurgunt freta 
uhdaque resultat scissa tranquillo minor, 
qualis silenti nocte remorum sonus 
longe refertur, cum premunt classes mare 
pulsumque marmor abiete imposita gemit. 
Respicimus : angues orbibus geminis ferunt 

ad saxa ductus, tumida quorum pectora 

1 figurarent Pithoeus, Tomaesius : figurabat. 

2 furta Buecheler : fata. 

8 mens semper cod. Autissiodurensts ; mendatium semper 
cod. Paris. 6842 D : mendacium other MSS. 
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SATYRICON 

planks fitted to a shape that resembled a war-horse. 
Within it a great hollow was opened, and a hidden 
cave that could shelter a host. In this the warriors 
who chafed at a war ten years long were packed away ; 
the baleful Greeks fill every corner, and lie waiting in 
their own votive offering. Ah! my country! we 
thought the thousand ships were beaten off, and 
the land released from strife. The inscription carved 
on the horse, and Sinon's crafty bearing, and his 
mind ever powerful for evil, all strengthened our 
hope. 

Now a crowd hurries from the gate to worship, care- 
less and free of the war. Their cneeks are wet with 
tears, and the joy of their trembling souls brings to 
their eyes tears that terror had banished. Laocoon, 
priest of Neptune, with hair unbound, stirs the whole 
assembly to cry aloud. He drew back his spear and 
gashed the belly of the horse, but fate stayed his hand, 
the spear leaped back, and won us to trust the fraud. 
But he nerved his feeble hand a second time, and 
sounded the deep sides of the horse with an axe. 
The young soldiers shut within breathed loud, and 
while the sound lasted the wooden mass gasped with 
a terror that was not its own. The prisoned warriors 
went forward to make Troy prisoner, and waged all 
the war by a new subtlety. 

There followed further portents ; where the steep 
. ridge of Tenedos breaks the sea, the billows rise and 
swell, and the shattered wave leaps back hollowing 
the calm, sounding like the noise of oars borne far 
through the silent night, when ships bear down the 
ocean, and the calm is stirred and splashes under the 
burden of the keel. We look back : the tide carries two 
coiling snakes towards the rocks, their swollen breasts 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

rates ut altae lateribus spumas agunt. 
Dat cauda sonitum, liberae ponto 1 iubae 
consentiunt luminibus, fulmineum iubar 
incendit aequor sibilisque undae fremunt. 
Stupuere mentes. Infulis stabant sacri 
Phrygioque cultu gemina hati pignora 
Lauconte. Quos repente tergoribus ligant 
angues corusci. Parvulas ill! manus 
ad ora referunt, neuter auxilio sibi, 
uterque fratri : transtulit pietas vices 
morsque ipsa miseros mutuo perdit metu. 
Accumulat ecce liberum funus parens, 
infirmus auxiliator. Invadunt virum 
iam morte pasti membraque ad terram trahunt. 
Iacet sacerdos inter aras victima 
terramque plangit Sic profanatis sacris 
peritura Troia perdidit primum deos. 

Iam plena Phoebe candidum extulerat iubar 
minora ducens astra radianti face, 
cum inter sepultos Priamidas nocte et mero 
Danai relaxant claustra et effundunt viros. 
Temptant in armis se duces, ceu ubi solet 
nodo remissus Thessali quadrupes iugi 
cervicem et altas quatere ad excursum iubas. 
Gladios retractant, commovent orbes manu 
bellumque sumunt. Hie graves alius mero 
obtruncat et continuat in mortem ultimam 
somnos, ab aris alius accendit faces 
contraque Troas invocat Troiae sacra." . . . 

90 L I Ex is, qui in porticibus spatiabantur, lapides in 
Eumolpum recitantem miserunt. At ille, qui plau- 
sum ingenii sui noverat, operuit caput extraque tem- 

1 ponto Sambucus, Tornaesius : ponlem L : pontum O. 
178 



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SATYRICON 

like tall ships throwing the foam from their sides. 
Their tails crash through the sea, their crests move 
free over the open water, fierce as their eyes; 
a brilliant beam kindles the waves, and the waters 
resound with their hissing. Our heartbeats stopped. 
The priests stood wreathed for sacrifice with the two 
sons of Laocoon in Phrygian raiment. Suddenly the 
gleaming snakes twine their bodies round them. 
The boys throw up their little hands to their faces, 
neither helping himself, but each his brother: such 
was the exchange of love, and death himself slew both 
poor children by their unselfish fear. Then before our 
eyes the father, a feeble helper, laid his own body 
down upon his children* s. The snakes, now gorged with 
death, attacked the man and dragged his limbs to the 
ground. The priest lies a victim before his altars and 
beats the earth. Thus the doomed city of Troy first 
lost her gods by profaning their worship. 

Now Phoebe at the full lifted up her white beam, 
and led forth the smaller stars with her glowing torch, 
and the Greeks unbarred the horse, and poured out their 
warriors among Priam's sons drowned in darkness and 
wine. The leaders try their strength in arms, as a 
steed untied from the Thessalian yoke will toss his head 
and lofty mane as he rushes forth. They draw their 
swords, brandish their shields, and begin the fight. 
One slays Trojans heavy with drink, and prolongs 
their sleep to death that endeth all, another lights 
torches from the altars, and calls on the holy places of 
Troy to fight against the Trojans/ "... . 

Some of the people who were walking in the gal- 90 

leries threw stones at Eumolpus as he recited. He 

recognized this tribute to his genius, covered his head, 

and fled out of the temple. I was afraid that he 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

plum profugit. Timui ego, ne me poetam vocaret. 
Itaque subsecutus fugientem ad litus perveni, et ut 
primnm extra teli coniectum licuit consistere, "Rogo" 
inquam " quid tibi vis cum isto morbo? Minus quam 
duabus horis mecum moraris, et saepius poetice quam 
humane locutus es. Itaque non miror, si te populus 
lapidibus persequitur. Ego quoque sinum meum saxis 
onerabo, ut quotiescunque coeperis a te- exire, sangui- 
nem tibi a capite mittam." Movit ille vultum et "O 
mi " inquit adulescens, non hodie primus auspicatus 
sum. Immo quoties theatrum, ut recitarem aliquid, 
intravi, hac me adventicia excipere frequentia solet. 
Ceterum ne [et] tecum quoque habeam rixandum, 
toto die me ab hoc cibo abstinebo." "Immo" inquam 
ego si eiuras hodiernam bilem, una cenabimus "... 
Mando aedicularum custodi cenulae officium . . . 
91 Video Gitona cum linteis et strigilibus parieti appli- 
citum tristem confusumque. Scires, non libenter 
servire. Itaque ut experimentum oculorum caperem 
convertit ille solutum gaudio vultum et Miserere " 
inquit ' frater. Ubi anna non sunt, libere loquor. 
Eripe me latroni cruento et qualibet saevitia paeni- 
tentiam iudicis tui puni. Satis magnum erit misero 
solacium, tua voluntate cecidisse." Supprimere ego 
querellam iubeo, ne quis consilia deprehenderet, re- 
lictoque Eumolpo — nam in balneo carmen recitabat — 
per tenebrosum et sordidum egressum extraho Gitona 
raptimque in hospitium meum pervolo. Praeclusis 
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SATYRICON 

would call me a poet. So I followed him in his flight, 
and came to the beach, and as soon as we were out of 
range and could stop, I said, ' Tell me, cannot you 
get rid of your disease ? You have been in my com- 
pany less than two hours, and you have talked more 
often like a poet than like a man. I am not surprised 
that the crowd pursue you with stones. I shall load 
my pockets with stones too, and whenever you begin 
to forget yourself I shall let blood from your head." 
His expression altered, and he said, My dear young 
friend, I have been blessed like this before to-day. 
Whenever I go into the theatre to recite anything, 
the people's way is to welcome me with this kind ot 
present. But I do not want to have anything to quar- 
rel with you about, so I will keep off this food for a 
whole day." ' Well," said I, "if you forswear your 
madness for to-day, we will dine together." . . . 

I gave the house-porter orders about our supper 

I saw Giton, with some towels and scrapers, hug- 91 
ging the wall in sad embarrassment. You could see 
he was not a willing slave. So to enable me to catch 
his eye he turned round, his face softened with 
pleasure, and he said, Forgive me, brother. As 
there are no deadly weapons here, I speak freely. 
Take me away from this bloody robber and punish me 
as cruelly as you like, your penitent judge. 1 It will be 
quite enough consolation for my misery to die because 
you wish it." I told him to stop his lamentation, for s 
fear anyone should overhear our plans. We left" 
Eumolpus behind — he was reciting a poem in the 
bathroom — and I took Giton out by a dark, dirty 
exit, and flew with all speed to my lodgings. Then 

1 The words refer to the phrase in c. 80 commisi iudici (sc* 
Gitoni) litem, where Encolpius left Giton to choose between 
himself and Ascyltos. jgj 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

deinde foribus invado pectus amplexibus et perfusum 
os lacrimis vultu meo contero. Diu vocem neuter in- 
venit; nam puer etiam singultibus crebris amabile 
pectus quassaverat. " O facinus " inquam ( indignum, 
quod amo te quamvis relictus, et in hoc pectore, cum 
vulnus ingens fuerit, cicatrix non est. Quid dicis, 
peregrini amoris concessio? Dignus hac iniuria 
fui?" Postquam se amari sensit, supercilium altius 
sustulit . . . 

" Nee amoris arbitrium ad alium iudicem detuli 1 Sed 
nihil iam queror, nihil iam memini, si bona fide paeni- 
tentiam emendas." Haec cum inter gemitus lacri- 
masque fudissem, detersit ille pallio vultum et Quaeso ' ' 
inquit Encolpi, fidem memoriae tuae appello: ego 
te reliqui, an tu me prodidisti? Equidem fateor et 
prae me fero : cum duos armatos viderem, ad fortiorem 
confugi." Exosculatus pectus sapientia plenum inieci 
cervicibus manus, et ut facile intellegeret redisse me in 
gratiam et optima fide reviviscentem amicitiam, toto 
pectore adstrinxi, 
92 Et iam plena nox erat mulierque cenae mandata 
curaverat, cum Eumolpus ostium pulsat. Interrogo 
ego: quot estis?" obiterque per rimam foris specu- 
lari diligentissime coepi, num Ascyltos una venisset. 
Deinde ut solum hospitem vidi, momento recepi, Ille 
ut se in grabatum reiecit viditque Gitona in conspectu 
ministrantem, movit caput et 'Laudo" inquit "Gany- 
medem. Oportet hodie bene sit." Non delectavit 
me tarn curiosum principium timuique, ne in contu- 
1 detuli Buecheler: tuli and \\\\\\. 
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•SATYRICON 

I shut the door and warmly embraced him, and rub- 
bed my face against his cheek, which was wet with 
tears. For a time neither of us could utter a sound ; 
the boy's fair body shook with continuous sobs. " It 
is a shame and a wonder!" I cried, ' You left me, and 
yet I love you, and no scar is left over my heart, 
where the wound was so deep. Have you any excuse 
for yielding your love to a stranger ? Did I deserve 
this blow?" As soon as he felt that I loved him, he 
began to hold his head up. . . . 

I laid our love's cause before no other judge. 
But I make no complaint, I will forget all, if you 
will prove your penitence by keeping your word." I 
poured out my words with groans and tears, but Giton 
wiped his face on his cloak, and said, Now, Encol- 
pius, I ask you, I appeal to your honest memory; did 
I leave you, or did you betray me ? I admit, I confess 
it openly, that when I saw two armed men 
before me, I hurried to the side of the stronger." I 
pressed my lips to his dear wise heart, and put my 
arms round his neck, and hugged him close to me, to 
make it quite plain that I was in amity with him 
again, and that our friendship lived afresh in perfect 
confidence. 

jft was now quite dark, and the woman had seen 92 
to our orders for supper, when Eumolpus knocked at 
the door. I asked, ' How many of you are there?" 
and began as I spoke to look carefully through a chink 
in the door to see whether Ascyltos had come with 
him. When I saw that he was the only visitor, I let 
him in at once. He threw himself on a bed, and when 
he saw Giton before his eyes waiting at table, he wagged 
his head and said, I like your Ganymede. To-day 
should be a fine time for us." I was not pleased 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
bernium recepissem Ascylti parem. Instat Eumolpus, 
et cum puer illi potionem dedisset, Malo te " inquit 
"quam balneum totum" siccatoque avide poculo ne- 
gat sibi unquam acidius fuisse. Nam et dum lavor" 
ait "paene vapulavi, quia conatus sum circa solium 
sedentibus carmen recitare, et postquam de balneb 
tanquam de theatro eiectus sum, circuire omnes angu- 
los coepi et clara voce Encolpion clamitare. Ex altera 
parte iuvenis nudus, qui vestimenta perdiderat, non 
minore clamoris indignatione Gitona flagitabat. Et 
me quidem pueri tanquam insanum imitatione petu- 
lantissima deriserunt, ilium autem frequentia ingens 
circumvenit cum plausu et admirati6ne timidissima. 
Habebat enim inguinum pondus tarn grande, ut ipsum 
hominem laciniam fascini crederes. O iuvenem labo- 
riosum : puto ilium pridie incipere, postero die finire. 
Itaque statim invenit auxilium; nescio quis enim, 
eques Romanus ut aiebant infamis, sua veste errantem 
circumdedit ac domum abduxit, credo, ut tarn magna 
fortuna solus uteretur. At ego ne mea quidem vesti- 
menta ab officioso custode recepissem, nisi notorem 
dedissem. Tan to magis expedit inguina quam ingenia 
fricare." Haec Eumolpo dicente mutabam ego fre- 
quentissime vultum, iniuriis scilicet inimici mei hllaris, 
commodis tristis. Utcunque tamen, tanquam non agno- 
scerem fabulam, tacui et cenae ordinem explicui . . . 
93 Vile est, quod licet, et animus errori intentus 1 

iniurias diligit. 

1 errori intentus Buecheler; errore lentus. 
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SATYRICON 

at this inquisitive opening; I was afraid I had let 
Ascyltos's double into the lodgings. Eumolpus per- 
sisted, and, when the boy brought him a drink, said, 

I like you better than the whole bathful." He 
greedily drank the cup dry, and said he had never 
taken anything with a sharper tang in it. " Why, I 
was nearly flogged while I was washing," he cried, 

because I tried to go round the bath and recite 
poetry to the people sitting in it, and when I was 
thrown out of the bathroom as if it were a theatre, I 
began to look round all the corners, and shouted for 
Encolpius in a loud voice. In another part of the 
place a naked young man who had lost his clothes 
kept clamouring for Giton with equally noisy indigna- 
tion. The boys laughed at me with saucy mimicry as 
if I were crazy, but a large crowd surrounded him, 
clapping their hands and humbly admiring. Habebat 
enim inguinum pondus tarn grande, ut ipsum hominem 
laciniam fascini crederes. O iuvenem laboriosum: 
puto ilium pridie incipere, postero die finire. So he 
found an ally at once: some Roman knight or other, 
a low fellow, they said; put his own clothes on him as 
he strayed round, and took him off home, I suppose, 
ut tarn magna fortuna solus uteretur. I should never 
have got my own clothes back from the troublesome 
attendant if I had not produced a voucher. Tanto 
magis expedit inguina quam ingenia fricare." As 
Eumolpus told me all this, my expression kept 
changing, for of course I laughed at my enemy's 
straits and frowned on his fortune. But anyhow 
I kept quiet as if I did not know what the story was 
about, and set forth our bill of fare. . . . 

"What we may have we do not care about; our 93 
minds are bent on folly and love what is troublesome. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

Ales Phasiacis petita Colchis 
atque Afrae volucres placent palato, 
quod non sunt faciles : at albus anser 
et pictis anas enovata 1 pennis 
plebeium sapit. Ultimis ab oris 
attractus scarus atque arata Syrtis, 
si quid naufragio dedit, probatur : 
mull us iam gravis est. Arnica vincit 
uxorem. Rosa cinnamum veretur. 
Quicquid quaeritur, optimum videtur." 
Hoc est" inquam quod promiseras, ne quern 
hodie versum faceres ? per fidem, saltern nobis parce, 
qui te nunquam lapidavimus. Nam si aliquis ex is, 
qui in eodem synoecio potant, nomen poetae olfecerit, 
totam concitabit viciniam et nos omnes sub eadem 
causa obruet. Miserere et aut pinacothecam aut bal- 
neum cogita." Sic me loquentem obiurgavit Giton, 
mitissimus puer, et negavit recte faeere, quod senior! 
conviciarer simulque oblitus officii mensam, quaro 
humanitate posuissem, contumelia tollerem, multaque 
alia moderationis verecundiaeque verba, quae formam 
eius egregie decebant. . . . 
94 LO I O felicem " inquit " matrem tuam, quae te talem 
peperit : macte virtute esto. Raram fecit mixturam 
cum sapientia forma. Itaque ne putes te tot verba 
perdidisse, amatorem invenisti. Ego laudes tuas car- 
minibus implebo. Ego paedagogus et custos etiam 
quo non iusseris, sequar. Nee iniuriam Encolpius 
accipit, alium amat." Profuit etiam Eumolpo miles 
ille, qui mihi abstulit gladium ; alioquin quern animum 
ad versus Ascylton sumpseram, eum in Eumolpi san- 
guinem exercuissem. Nee fefellit hoc Gitona. Ita- 
que extra cellam proeessit, tanquam aquam peteret, 
1 enovata Pithoeus : renovata. 
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SATYRICON 

The bird won from Colchis where Phasis flows, and 
fowls from Africa, are sweet to taste because they 
are not easy to win ; but the white goose and the duck 
with bright new feathers have a common savour. 
The wrasse drawn from far-off shores, and the yield of 
wrinkled Syrtis is praised if first it wrecks a boat : the 
mullet by now is a weariness. The mistress eclipses 
the wife, the rose bows down to the cinnamon. What 
men must seek after seems ever best." 

" What about your promise, that you would not 
make a single verse to-day?" I said. ' On your 
honour, spare us at least : we have never stoned you. 
If a single one of the people who are drinking in the 
same tenement with us scents the name of a poet, he 
will rouse the whole neighbourhood and ruin us all for 
the same reason. Spare us then, and remember the 
picture-gallery or the baths." Giton, the gentle boy, 
reproved me when I spoke thus, and said that I was 
wrong to rebuke my elders, and forget my duty so far 
as to spoil with my insults the dinner I had ordered 
out of kindness, with much more tolerant and modest 
advice which well became his beautiful self. . . . 

" Happy was the mother who bore such a son as you," 94 
he said, ' be good and prosper. Beauty and wisdom 
make a rare conjunction. And do not think that all 
your words have been wasted. In me you have found 
a lover. I will do justice to your worth in verse. I will 
teach and protect you, and follow you even where you do 
not bid me. I do Encolpius no wrong; he loves another." 

That soldier who took away my sword did Eumolpus 
a good turn too ; otherwise I would have appeased the 
wrath raised in me against Ascyltos with the blood of 
Eumolpus. Giton was not blind to this. So he went 
out of the room on a pretence of fetching water, and 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

iramque meam prudenti absentia extinxit. Paululum 
ergo intepescente saevitia Eumolpe" inquam iam 
malo vel carminibus loquaris, quam eiusmodi tibi vota 
proponas. Et ego iracuiidus sum, et tu 1ibidinosus : 
vide, quam non conveniat his moribus. Puta igitur 
me furiosum esse, cede insaniae, id est ocius foras exi." 
LI Confusus hac denuntiatione Eumolpus non quaesiit 
iracundiae causam, sed continuo limen egressus ad- 
duxit repente ostium cellae meque nihil tale expe- 
ctanteminclusit,exemitqueraptim clavem et ad Gitona 
investigandum cucurrit. 

Inclusus ego suspendio vitam finire eonstitui. Et 
iam semicinctio lecti 1 stantis ad parietem spondam 
vinxeram cervicesque nodo condebam, cum reseratis 
foribus intrat Eumolpus cum Gitone meque a fatali 
iam meta revocat ad lucem. Giton praecipue ex do- 
lore in rabiem efferatus tollit clamorem, me utraque 
manu impulsum praecipitat super lectum, erras" 
inquit Encolpi, si putas contingere posse, ut ante 
moriaris. Prior coepi ; in Ascylti hospitio gladium 
quaesivi. Ego si te non invenissem, periturus per 
praecipitia fui. Et ut scias non longe esse quaeren- 
tibus mortem, specta invicem, quod me spectare vo- 
luisti. ' ' Haec locutus mercennario Eumolpi novaculam 
rapit et semel iterumque cervice percussa ante pedes 
collabitur nostros. Exclamo ego attonitus, secutusque 
labentem eodem ferramento ad mortem viam quaero. 
Sed neque Giton ulla erat suspicione vulneris laesus, 
neque ego ullum sentiebam dolorem. Rudis enim 
1 lecti added hy Buecheler. 
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SATYRICON 

quenched my wrath by his tactful departure. Then, 
as my fury cooled a little, I said, "I would prefer even 
that you should talk poetry now, Eumolpus, rather 
than harbour such hopes. I am choleric, and you are 
lecherous: you understand that these dispositions do 
not suit each other. Well, regard me as a maniac, 
yield to my infirmity, in short, get out quick." 
Eumolpus was staggered by this attack, and never 
asked why I was angry, but went out of the room at 
once and suddenly banged the door, taking me com- 
pletely by surprise and shutting me in. He pulled out 
the key in a moment and ran off to look for Giton. 

I was locked in. I made up my mind to hang my- 
self and die. I had just tied a belt to the frame of a 
bed which stood by the wall, and was pushing my neck 
into the noose, when the door was unlocked, Eumolpus 
came in with Giton, and called me back to light from 
the very bourne of death. Nay, Giton passed from 
grief to raving madness, and raised a shout, pushed me 
with both hands and threw me on the bed, and cried, 
Encolpius, you are wrong if you suppose you could 
possibly die before me. I thought of suicide first ; I 
looked for a sword in Ascyltos's lodgings. If I had 
not found you I would have hurled myself to death 
over a precipice. I will show you that death stands 
close by those who seek him : behold in your turn the 
scene you wished me to behold. " 

With these words he snatched a razor from Eumol- 
pus' s servant, drew it once, twice across his throat, and 
tumbled down at our feet. I gave a cry of horror, 
rushed to him as he fell, and sought the road of death 
with the same steel. But Giton was not marked with 
any trace of a wound, and I did not feel the least 
pain. The razor was untempered, and specially blunted 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

novacula et in hoc retusa, ut pueris discentibus auda- 
ciam tonsoris daret, instruxerat thecam. Ideoque nee 
mercennarius ad raptum ferramentum expaverat, nee 
Eumolpus interpellaverat mimicam mortem. 
95 LO | Dum haec fabula inter amantes luditur, dever- 
sitor cum parte cenulae intervenit, contemplatusque 
foedissimam volutationem iacentium rogo" inquit 
"ebrii estis, an fugitivi, an utrumque? Quis autem 
grabatum ilium erexit, aut quid sibi vult tarn furtiva 
molitio? Vos mehercules ne mercedem cellae daretis, 
fugere nocte in publicum voluistis. Sed non impune. 
lam enim faxo sciatis non viduae hanc insulam esse 
sed M. Mannicii." Exclamat Eumolpus etiam 
minaris?" simulque os hominis palma excussissima 
pulsat. Ille tot hospitum potionibus liberum urceo- 
lum fictilem in Eumolpi caput iaculatus est solvitque 
clamantis frontem et de cella se proripuit. Eumolpus 
contumeliae impatiens rapit ligneum candelabrum 
sequiturque abeuntem et creberrimis ictibus super- 
cilium suum vindicat. Fit concursus familiae hospi- 
tumque ebriorum frequentia. Ego autem nactus 
occasionem vindictae Eumolpum excludo, redditaque 
scordalo vice sine aemulo scilicet et cella utor et 
nocte. 

Interim coctores insulariique mulcant exclusum et 
alius veru extis stridentibus plenum in oculos eius 
intentat, alius furca de carnario rapta statum proelian- 
tis componit. Anus praecipue lippa, sordidissimo 
praecincta linteo, soleis ligneis imparibus imposita^ 
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SATYRICON 

in order to give boy pupils the courage of a barber : 
and so it had grown a sheath. So the servant had not 
been alarmed when the steel was snatched from him, 
and Eumolpus did not interrupt our death-scene. 

While this lover's play was being- performed, an 95 
inmate of the house came in with part of our little 
dinner, and after looking at us rolling in disarray on 
the ground he said, Are you drunk, please, or run- 
away slaves, or both ? Who turned the bed up there, 
and what do all these sneaking contrivances mean? 
I declare you meant to run off in the dark into the 
public street rather than pay for your room. But you 
shall pay for it. I will teach you that these lodgings do 
not belong to a poor widow, but to Marcus Mannicius." 
"What?" shouted Eumolpus, you dare threaten us/ 
And as he spoke he struck the man in the face with all 
the force of his outstretched hand. The man hurled a 
little earthenware pot, which was empty, all the guests 
having drunk from it, at Eumolpus' s head, broke 
the skin of his forehead in the midst of his clamour, and 
rushed out of the room. Eumolpus would not brook 
an insult ; he seized a wooden candlestick and followed 
the lodger out, and avenged his bloody forehead with 
a rain of blows. All the household ran up, and a 
crowd of drunken lodgers. 1 had a chance of 
punishing Eumolpus, and I shut him out, and so got 
even with the bully, and of course had the room and 
my sleep to myself without a rival. 

Meanwhile cooks and lodgers belaboured him now 
that he was locked out, and one thrust a spit full 
of hissing meat into his eyes, another took a fork from 
a dresser and struck a fighting attitude. Above all, a 
blear-eyed old woman with a very dirty linen wrap 
round her, balancing herself on an uneven pair of 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

canem ingentis magnitudinis catena trahit instigatque 
in Eumolpon. Sed ille candelabro se ab omni peri- 
culo vindicabat. Videbamus nos omnia per foramen 
96 valvae, quod paulo ante ansa ostioli rupta laxaverat, 
favebamque ego vapulanti. Giton autem non oblitus 
misericordiae suae reserandum esse ostium succurren- 
dumque periclitanti censebat. Ego durante adhuc 
iracundia non continui manum, sed caput miserantis 
stricto acutoque articulo percussi. Et ille quidem 
flens.consedit in lecto. Ego autem alternos oppone- 

L bam foramini oculos iniuriaque Eumolpi | velut quo- 
LO dam cibo me replebam | advocationemque commen- 
dabam, cum procurator insulae Bargates a cena 
excitatus a duobus lecticariis in mediam rixam per- 
fertur; nam erat etiam pedibus aeger, is ut rabiosa 
barbaraque voce in ebrios fugitivosque diu peroravit, 
respiciens ad Eumolpon o poetarum" inquit 'diser- 
tissime, tu eras? Et non discedunt ocius nequissimi 
servi manusque continent a rixa?" ... 

L ' I "Contubernalis mea mihi fastum facit. Ita si, me 
amas, maledic illam versibus, ut habeat pudorem" . . . 
- 97 Dum Eumolpus cum Bargate in secreto loquitur, 
intrat stabulum praeco cum servo publico aliaque 
sane modica frequentia, facemque fumosam magis 
quam lucidam quassans haec proclamavit: * f puer in 
balneo paulo ante aberravit, annorum circa xvi, crispus, 
mollis, formosus, nomine Giton. Si quis eum reddere 
aut commonstrare voluerit, accipiet nummos mille." 
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SATYRICON 

clogs, took the lead, brought up a dog of enormous 
size on a chain, and set him on to Eumolpus. But 
the candlestick was enough to protect him from all 
danger. 

We saw everything through a hole in the folding 96 
doors, which had been made by the handle of the 
door being broken a short time before; and I was 
delighted to see him thrashed. But Giton clung to 
compassion, and said we ought to open the door and 
go and rescue him from peril. My indignation was 
still awake; I did not hold my hand, I rapped his 
compassionate head with my sharp clenched knuckles. 
He cried and sat down on the bed. I put my eyes to 
the chink by turns, and gorged myself on the miseries 
of Eumolpus like a dainty dish, and approved their 
prolongation. Then Bargates, the man in charge of 
the lodging-house, was disturbed at his dinner, and two 
chairmen carried him right into the brawl ; for he had 
gouty feet. In a furious vulgar voice he made a long 
oration against drunkards and escaped slaves, and 
then he looked at Eumolpus and said, What, most 
learned bard, was it you ? Get away quick, you damned 
slaves, and keep your hands from quarrelling/' . . 

' My mistress despises me. So curse her for me in 
rhyme, if you love me, and put shame into her." . . 

While Eumolpus was talking privately to Bargates, 97 
a crier came into the house with a municipal slave and 
quite a small crowd of other people, shook a torch 
which gave out more smoke than light, and made this 
proclamation: "Lost recently in the public baths, a 
boy aged about sixteen, hair curly, low habits, of 
attractive appearance, answers to the name of Giton. 
A reward of a thousand pieces will be paid to any 
person willing to bring him back or indicate his where- 
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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

Nee longe a praecone Ascyltos stabat amictus dis- 
coloria veste atque in lance argentea indicium et 
fidem praeferebat. Imperavi Gitoni, ut raptim gra- 
batum subiret annecteretque pedes et manus institis, 
quibus sponda culcitam ferebat, ac sic ut olim Vlixes 
Cyclopis arieti 1 adhaesisset, extentus infra grabatum 
scrutantium eluderet manus. Non est moratus Giton 
imperiummomentoquetemporis inseruit vinculo manus 
et Vlixem astu simillimo vicit. Ego ne suspicioni re- 
linquerem locum, lectulum vestimentis implevi uni- 
usque hominis vestigium ad corporis mei mensuram 
figuravi. 

Interim Ascyltos ut pererravit omnes cum viatore 
cellas, venit ad meam, et hoc quidem pleniorem spem 
concepit, quo diligentius oppessulatas invenit fores. 
Publicus vero servus insertans commissuris secures 
claustrorum firmitatem laxavit. Ego ad genua Ascylti 
procubui et per memoriam amicitiae perque societa- 
tem miseriarum petii, ut saltern ostenderet fratrem. 
Immo ut fidem haberent fictae preces, " scio te " 
inquam Ascylte, ad occidendum me venisse. Quo 
enim secures attulisti ? Itaque satia iracundiam tuam : 
praebeo ecce cervicem, funde sanguinem, quern sub 
praetextu quaestionis petisti." Amolitur Ascyltos in- 
vidiam et se vero nihil aliud quam fiigitivum suum 
dixit quaerere, mortem nee hominis concupisse nee sup- 
plicis, utique eius quern post fatalem rixam habuisset 2 

1 Cyclopis arieti Buecheler : pro ariete. 

2 habuisset Buecheler : habuit. 
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SATYRICON 

abouts." Ascyltos stood close by the crier in clothes 
of many colours, holding out the reward on a silver 
dish to prove his honesty. I told Giton to get under 
the bed at once, and hook his feet and hands into the 
webbing which held up the mattress on the frame, so 
that he might evade the grasp of searchers by stay- 
ing stretched out under the bed, just as Ulysses of old 
clung on to the ram of the Cyclops. 1 Giton obeyed 
orders at once, and in a second had slipped his hands 
into the webbing, and surpassed even Ulysses at his 
own tricks. I did not want to leave any room for 
suspicion, so I stuffed the bed with clothes, and 
arranged them in the shape of a man about my own 
height sleeping by himself. 

Meanwhile Ascyltos went round all the rooms with 
a constable, and when he came to mine, his hopes 
swelled within him at finding the door bolted with 
especial care. The municipal slave put an axe into the 
joints, and loosened the bolts from their place. I fell 
at Ascyltos's feet, and besought him, by the memory 
of our friendship and the miseries we had shared, at 
least to show me my brother. Further to win belief 
in my sham prayers, I said, I know you have come 
to kill me, Ascyltos. Else why have you brought an 
axe with you ? Well, satisfy your rage. Here is my 
neck, shed my blood, the real object of your pre- 
tended legal search." Ascyltos threw off his resent- 
ment, and declared that he wanted nothing but his own 
runaway slave, that he did not desire the death of any 
man or any suppliant, much less of one whom he loved 
very dearly now that their deadly dispute was over. 

1 See Homer's Odyssey, Book ix. Ulysses escaped from 
the den of the Cyclops Polyphemus by clinging to the belly 
of a ram, when Polyphemus sent out his flocks to graze. 

o2 195 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
98 carissimum. At non servus publicus tarn languide 
agit, sed raptam cauponi harundinem subter lectum 
mittit omniaque etiam foramina parietum scrutatur. 
Subducebat Giton ab ictu corpus et reducto timidis- 
sime spiritu ipsos sciniphes ore tangebat . . . 

Eumolpus autem, quia effractum ostium cellae ne- 
minem poterat excludere, irrumpit perturbatus et 

mille" inquit nummos inveni ; iam enim persequar 
abeuntem praeconem et in potestate tua esse Gitonem 
meritissima proditione 1 monstrabo." Genua ego per- 
severantis amplector, ne morientes vellet occidere, et 

merito" inquam excandesceres, si posses perditum* 
ostendere. Nunc inter turbam puer fugit, nee quo 
abierit, suspicari possum. Per fidem, Eumolpe, reduc 
puerum et vel Ascylto redde." Dum haec ego iam 
credenti persuadeo, Giton collectione spiritus plenus 
ter continuo ita sternutavit, ut grabatum concuteret. 
Ad quern motum Eumolpus conversus salvere Gitona 
iubet. Remota etiam culcita videt Vlixem, cui vel 
esuriens Cyclops potuisset parcere. Mox conversus 
ad me quid est" inquit "latro? ne deprehensus 
quidem ausus es mihi verum dicere. Immo ni deus 
quidam humanarum rerum arbiter pendenti puero 
excussisset indicium, elusus circa rx)pinaserrarem" . . . 
Giton longe blandior quam ego, primum araneis 
oleo madentibus vulnus, quod in supercilio factum 
erat, coartavit. Mox palliolo suo laceratam mutavit 



196 



1 proditone Richard : propositione, 

2 perditum Jacobs : proditum. 



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SATYRICON 

But the constable was not so deficient in energ 
He took a cane from the inn-keeper, and pushed 
under the bed, and poked into everything, even tl 
cracks in the walls. Giton twisted away from tl 
stick, drew in his breath very gently, and pressed 1 
lips close against the bugs in the bedding. . . Tl 
broken door of the room could not keep anyone ov 
and Eumolpus rushed in in a fury, and cried, " I ha 
found a thousand pieces ; for I mean to follow the cri 
as he goes away, and betray you as you richly desert 
and tell him that Giton is in your hands." He pe 
sisted, I fell at his feet, besought him not to kill 
dying man, and said, You might well be excited if y< 
could show him the lost one. As it is, the boy h 
run away in the crowd, and I have not the least id 
where he has gone. As you love me, Eumolpus, g 
the boy back, and give him to Ascyltos if you like 
I was just inducing him to believe me, when Git< 
burst with holding his breath, and all at once sneezi 
three times so that he shook the bed. Eumolp 
turned round at the noise, and said Good da 
Giton." He pulled off the mattress, and saw ; 
Ulysses whom even a hungry Cyclops might ha 
spared. Then he turned on me, "Now, you thfc 
you did not dare to tell me the truth even when y 
were caught. In fact, unless the God who contn 
man's destiny had wrung a sign from this boy 
he hung there, I should now be wandering round i 
pot-houses like a fool." . . . 

Giton was far more at ease than I. He first stanch 
a cut which had been made on Eumolpus' s forehe; 
with spider's webs soaked in oil. He then took < 
his torn clothes, and in exchange gave him a she 
cloak of his own, then put his arms round him, i 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

vestem, amplexusque iam mitigatum osculis tanquam 
fomentis aggressus est et ' in tua" inquit ' pater 
carissime, in tua sumus custodia. Si Gitona tuum 
amas, incipe velle servare. Utinam me solum inimicus 
ignis hauriret vel hibernum invaderet mare. Ego 
enim omnium scelerum materia, ego causa sum. Si 
perirem, conveniret inimicis" . . . 
99 ego sic semper et ubique vixi, ut ultimam quam- 

que lucem tanquam non redituram consumerem " . . . 
profusis ego lacrimis rogo quaesoque, ut mecum quo- 
que redeat in gratiam : neque enim in amantium esse 
potestate furiosam aemulationem. Daturum tamen 
operam, ne aut dicam aut faciam amplius, quo possit 
offendi. Tantum omnem scabitudinem animo tan- 
quam bonarum artium magister deleret sine cicatrice. 
Incultis asperisque regionibus diutius nives haerent, 
ast ubi aratro domefacta tellus nitet, dum loqueris, 
levis pruina dilabitur. Similiter in pectoribus ira con- 
sidit : feras quidem mentes obsidet, eruditas praelabi- 
tur." "Ut scias" inquit Eumolpus verum esse, 
quod dicis, ecce etiam osculo iram finio. Itaque, quod 
bene evenjat, expedite sarcinulas et vel sequimini me 
vel, si mavultis, ducite." Adhuc loquebatur, cum 
crepuit ostium impulsum, stetitque in limine barbis 
horrentibus nauta et ' moraris" inquit Eumolpe, 
tanquam propudium ignores." Haud mora, omnes 
consurgimus, et Eumolpus quidem mercennarium su- 
um iam olim dormientem exire cum sarcinis iubet. 
Ego cum Gitone quicquid erat, in iter 1 compono et 
adoratis sideribus intro navigium . . . 
1 iter Buecheler : alter. 
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SATYRICON 

he was now softening, poulticed him with kisses, 
and said, Dearest father, we are in your hands, 
yours entirely. If you love your Giton, make up your 
mind to save him. I wish the cruel fire might 
engulf me alone, or the wintry sea assail me. I am the 
object of all his transgressions, I am the cause. If I 
were gone, you two might patch up your quarrel.' ' . . 

' At all times and in all places I have lived such a 99 
life that I spent each passing day as though that 
light would never return. " . . 

I burst into tears, and begged and prayed him to 
be friends again with me too : a true lover was incapa- 
ble of mad jealousy. At the same time I would take 
care to do nothing more in word or deed by which he 
could possibly be hurt. Only he must remove all 
irritation from his mind like a man of true culture, 
and leave no scar. ' On the wild rough uplands the 
snow lies late, but when the earth is beautiful under 
the mastery of the plough, the light frost passes while 
you speak. Thus anger .dwells in our hearts ; it takes 
root in the savage, and glides over the man of learn- 
ing." "There/' said Eumolpus, *y° u see what you 
say is true. Behold, I banish my anger with a kiss. 
So good luck go with us. Get ready your luggage and 
follow me, or lead the way if you like." He was 
still talking, when a knock sounded on the door, and 
a sailor with a straggly beard stood at the entrance 
and said, 'You hang about, Eumolpus, as if you 
did not know a Blue Peter by sight." We all got up 
in a hurry, and Eumolpus ordered his slave, who had 
now been asleep for some time, to come out with his 
baggage. Giton and I put together all we had for a 
journey; I asked a blessing of the stars, and went 
aboard. . . 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

100 "molestum est quod puer hospiti placet. Quid 
autem? Non commune est, quod natura optimum 
fecit? Sol omnibus lucet. Luna innumerabilibus 
comitata sideribus etiam feras ducit ad pabulum. 
Quid aquis dici formosius potest? In publico tamen 
manant. Solus ergo amor furtum potius quam prae- 
mium erit? Immo vero nolo habere bona, nisi quibus 
populus inviderit Unus, et senex, non erit gravis; 
etiam cum voluerit aliquid sumere, opus anhelitu pro- 
det." Haec ut infra fiduciam posui fraudavique 
animum dissidentem, coepi somnum obruto tunicula 
capite mentiri. 

Sed repente quasi destruente fortuna constantiam 
meam eiusmodi vox super constratum puppis conge- 
muit: ergo me derisit?" Et haec quidem virilis et 
paene auribus meis famfliaris animum palpitantem 
percussit. Ceterum eadem indignatione mulier lace- 
rata ulterius excanduit et "Si quis deus manibus 
meis " inquit ' Gitona imponeret, quam bene exulem 
exciperem." 1 Uterque nostrum tarn inexpectato ictus 
sono amiserat sanguinem. Ego praecipue quasi som- 
nio quodam turbu lento circumactus diu vocem collegi 
tremebundisque manibus Eumolpi iam in soporem 
labentis laciniam duxi et ' Per fidem " inquam pater, 
cuius haec navis est, aut quos vehat, dicere potes?" 
Inquietatus ille moleste tulit et "Hoc erat" inquit 
" quod placuerat tibi, ut supra constratum navis occu- 
paremus secretissimum locum, ne nos patereris requi- 
escere ? Quid porro ad rem pertinet, si dixero Licham 

1 exciperem margin ed, of Tornaesius : exciperet. 
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SATYRICON 

I am annoyed because the boy takes a stranger's 100 
fancy. But are not all the finest works of nature 
common property? The sun shines upon all men. 
The moon with countless troops of stars in her train 
leads even the beasts to their food. Can we imagine 
anything more lovely than water? yet it flows 
for all the world. Then shall love alone be stolen 
rather than enjoyed L The truth is that I do not care for 
possessions unless the common herd are jealous ot 
them. One "rival, and he too an old man, will not be 
troublesome; even if he wants to gain an advantage, 
his shortness of breath will give him away." When I 
had made these points without any confidence, de- 
ceiving my protesting spirit, I covered my head in my 
cloak and pretended to be asleep. 

But' suddenly, as though fate were in arms against 
my resolution, a voice on the ship's deck said with a 
groan, like this: So he deceived me, then?" These 
manly tones were somehow familiar to my ear, and my 
heart beat fast as they struck me. But then a woman 
torn by the same indignation broke out yet more 
vehemently: "Ah, if the gods would deliver Giton 
into my hands, what a fine welcome I would give 
the runaway." The shock of these unexpected 
sounds drove all the blood out of both of us. I felt 
as if I were being hunted round in some troubled 
dream ; I was a long while finding my voice, and then 
pulled Eumolpus's clothes with a shaking hand, just 
as he was falling into a deep sleep, and said, Tell 
me the truth, father; can you say who owns this ship, 
or who is on board?" He was annoyed at being dis- 
turbed, and replied, Was this why you chose a quiet 
corner on deck, on purpose to prevent us from getting 
any rest ? What on earth is the use of my telling you 

201 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

Tarentinum esse dominum huiusce navigii, qui Try- 
101 phaenam exulem Tarentum ferat?" Intremui post 
hoc fulmen attonitus, iuguloque detecto aliquando " 
inquam "Totum me, Fortuna, vicisti." Nam Giton 
quidem super pectus meum positus diu animam egit. 
Deinde ut effusus sudor utriusque spiritum revocavit, 
comprehendi Eumolpi genua et ~" Miserere " inquam 
morientium et pro consortio studiorum commoda 
manum ; mors venit, quae nisi per te non licet, potest 
esse pro munere. ,, Inundatus hac Eumolpus invidia 
iurat per deos deasque se neque scire quid acciderit, 
nee ullum dolum malum consilio adhibuisse, sed mente 
simplicissima et vera fide in navigium comites in- 
duxisse, quo ipse iam pridem fuerit usurus. " Quae 
autem hie insidiae sunt " inquit " aut quis nobiscum 
Hannibal navigat? Lichas Tarentinus, homo vere- 
cundissimus et non tantum huius navigii dominus, 
quod regit, sed fundorum etiam aliquot et familiae 
negotiantis, onus deferendum ad mercatum conducit. 
Hie est Cyclops ille et archipirata, cui vecturam de- 
bemus ; et praeter hunc Tryphaena, omnium femina- 
rum formosissima, quae voluptatis causa hue atque iliuc 
vectatur." "Hi sunt" inquit Giton quos fugimus" 
simulque raptim causas odiorum et instans periculum 
trepidanti Eumolpo exponit. Confusus ille et consilii 
egens iubet quemque suam sententiam promere et 
"Fingite' , inquit "nos antrum Cyclopis intrasse. 
Quaerendum est aliquod eflugium, nisi naufragium 
202 



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SATYRICON 

that Lichas of Tarentum is the master of this boat, 
and is carrying Tryphaena to Tarentum under a sen- 
tence of banishment?" I was thunderstruck at this 101 
blow. I bared my throat, and cried, " Ah, Fate, at last 
you have smitten me hip and thigh." For Giton, who 
was sprawling over me, had already fainted. Then 
the sweat broke out on us and called us both back to 
life. I took Eumolpus by the knees, and cried, " Mercy 
on us ! We are dead men. Help us, I implore you 
by our fellowship in learning ; death is upon us, and 
we may come to welcome death, unless you prevent 
us from doing so." 

Eumolpus was overwhelmed by this attack, and 
swore by gods and goddesses that he did not under- 
stand what had happened, and had no sinister inten- 
tions in his mind, but had taken us to share the voyage 
with him in perfect honesty and absolute good faith ; 
he had been meaning to sail himself some time be- 
fore. Is there any trap here?" he said, ' and who 
is the Hannibal we have on board ? Lichas of Taren- 
tum is a respectable person. He is not only owner and 
captain of this ship, but has several estates and some 
slaves in business. He is carrying a cargo consigned 
to a market. This is the ogre and pirate king to 
whom we owe our passage ; and besides, there is Try- 
phaena, loveliest of women, who sails from one place 
to another in search of pleasure." But it is these 
two we are running away from," said Giton, and 
poured out the story of our feud, and explained our 
imminent danger, till Eumolpus shook. He became 
muddled and helpless, and asked us each to put for- 
ward our views. ' I would have you imagine that we 
have entered the ogre's den," he said. We must find 
some way out, unless we run the ship aground and 

203 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

ponimus et omni nos periculo libe ramus." € Immo" 
inquit Giton " persuade gubernatori, ut in aliquem 
portum navem deducat, non sine praemio scilicet, et 
affirma ei impatientem maris fratrem tuum in ultimis 
esse. Poteris banc simulationem et vultus confusione 
et lacrimis obumbrare, ut misericordia permotus guber- 
nator indulgeat tibi." Negavit hoc Eumolpus fieri 
posse, quia magna" inquit ' navigia portubus se 
curvatis insinuant, nee tarn cito fratrem defecisse veri 
simile erit. Accedit his, quod forsitan Lichas officii 
causa visere languentem desiderabit. Vides, quam 
valde nobis expediat, ultro dominum ad fugientes 
accersere. 1 Sed finge navem ab ingenti posse cursu 
deflecti et Licham non utique circumiturum aegrorum 
cubilia: quomodo possumus egredi nave, ut non con- 
spiciamur a cunctis? Opertis capitibus, an nudis? 
Opertis, et quis non dare manum languentibus volet? 
102 Nudis, et quid erit aliud quam se ipsos proscribere?" 
Quin potius" inquam ego ad temeritatem confugi- 
mus et per funem lapsi descendimus in scapham prae- 
cisoque vinculo reliqua fortunae committimus ? Nee 
ego in hoc periculum Eumolpon arcesso. Quid enim 
attinet innocentem alieno periculo imponere? Con- 
tentus sum, si nos descendentes adiuverit casus." 
Non imprudens" inquit consilium" Eumolpos "si 
aditum haberet. Quis enim non euntes notabit? 
Utique gubernator, qui pervigil nocte siderum quoque 
motus custodit. Et utcunque imponi nihil 2 dormienti 
posset, si per aliam partem navis fuga quaere re tur : 
nunc per puppim, per ipsa gubernacuia delabendum 
est, a quorum regione funis descendit, qui scaphae 

1 accersere Buecheler: accedere. 

2 nihil Buecheler: vel. 
204 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
custodiam tenet. Praeterea illud miror, Encolpi, tibi 
non succurrisse, unum nautam stationis perpetuae iri- 
terdiu noctuque iacere in scapha, nee posse inde 
custodem nisi aut caede expelli aut praecipitari viribus. 
Quod an fieri possit, interrogate audaciam vestram. 
Nam quod ad meum quidem comitatum attinet, nul- 
lum recuso periculum, quod salutis spem ostendit. 
Nam sine causa [quidem] spiritum tanquam rem 
vacuam impendere ne vos quidem existimo velle. 
Videte, numquid hoc placeat: ego vos in duas iam 
pelles coniciam vinctosque loris inter vestimenta pro 
sarcinis habebo, apertis scilicet aliquatenus labris, qui- 
bus et spiritum recipere possitis et cibum. Conclamabo 
deinde nocte servos poenam graviorem timentes prae- 
cipitasse se in mare. Deinde cum ventum fuerit in 
portum, sine ulla suspicione pro sarcinis vos efferam." 
Ita vero " inquam ego tanquam solidos alligaturus, 
quibus non sol eat venter iniuriam facere? An tan- 
quam eos qui sternutare non soleamus nee stertere? 
An quia hoc genus furti semel [mea] feliciter cessit? 
Sed finge una die vinctos posse durare : quid ergo, si 
diutius aut tranquillitas nos tenuerit aut adversa tem- 
pestas? Quid facturi sumus? Vestes quoque diutius 
vinctas ruga consumit, et chartae alligatae mutant 
figuram. Iuvenes adhuc laboris expertes statuarum 
ritu patiemur pannos et vincla?" . . . 
" Adhuc aliquod iter salutis quaerendum est. Inspi- 
cite, quod ego inveni. Eumolpus tanquam litterarum 
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SATYRICON 

holds the boat safe hangs just by. Again, I am sur- 
prised that it did not occur to you, Encolpius, that one 
sailor is always on duty night and day lying in the 
boat, and you cannot turn this sentry out except by 
killing him, or throw him out except by force. You 
must ask your own bold heart whether that can be 
done. As far as my coming with you goes, I do not 
shirk any danger which offers a chance of safety. But 
I suppose that even you do not wish to squander your 
lives like a vain trifle without any reason. Now see 
whether you approve of this. I will roll you in two 
bales, tie you up, and put you among my clothes as 
luggage, of course leaving the ends a bit open, so that 
you can get your breath and your food. Then I will 
raise the cry that my slaves have jumped overboard 
in the dark, being afraid of some heavier punishment. 
Then after we have arrived in harbour, I will carry 
vou out like baggage without arousing any suspicion." 
'What," I cried, tie us up like wholly solid people 
whose stomachs never make them unhappy? Like 
people who never sneeze nor snore? Just because 
this kind of trick on one occasion turned out a success 1 ? 
But even supposing we could endure one day tied up : 
what if we were detained longer by a calm or by 
rough weather? What should we do? Even clothes 
that are tied up too long get creased and spoilt, and 
papers in bundles lose their shape. Are we young 
fellows who never worked in our lives to put up with 
bondage in dirty cloths as if we were statues ? . . . No, 
we still have to find some way of salvation. Look at 
what I thought of. Eumolpus, as a man of learning, 

1 Cleopatra had herself conveyed to Julius Caesar at 
Alexandria wrapped up in a carpet. Plutarch: Life of 
Caesar y c. 49. Shaw : Caesar and Cleopatra, Act iii. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
studiosus utique atramentum habet. Hoc ergo remedio 
mutemus colores a capillis usque ad ungues. Ita tan- 
quam servi Aethiopes et praesto tibi erimus sine 
tormentorum iniuria hilares, et permutato colore, im- 
ponemus inimicis." "Quidni?" inquit Giton etiam 
circumcide nos, ut Iudaei videamur, et pertunde aures, 
ut imitemur Arabes, et increta facies, ut suos Gallia 
cives putet: tanquam hie solus color figuram possit 
pervertere et non multa una oporteat consentiant [et 
non] ratione, ut 1 mendacium constet. Puta infectam 
medicamine faciem diutius durare posse; finge nee 
aquae asperginem imposituram aliquam corpori macu- 
lam, nee vestem atramento adhaesuram, quod fre- 
quenter etiam non accersito ferrumine infigitur : age, 
numquid et labra possumus tumore taeterrimo implere ? 
Numquid et crines calamistro convertere ? Numquid 
et frontes cicatricibus scindere? Numquid et crura 
in orbem pandere ? Numquid et talos ad terrain de- 
ducere? Numquid et barbam peregrina ratione 
figurare ? Color arte compositus inquinat corpus, non 
mutat. Audite, quid amenti 2 succurrerit : praeligemus 
vestibus capita et nos in profundum mergamus." 
103 *Ne istud dii hominesque patiantur ,, Eumolpus ex- 
clamat ' ut vos tarn turpi exitu vitam finiatis. Immo 
potius facite, quod iubeo. Mercennarius meus, ut ex 
novacula comperistis, tonsor est: hie continuo radat 

1 et non bracketed, ut added by Buecheler, 

2 amenti Buecheler : timenti. 
208 



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SATYRICON 

is sure to have some ink. We will use this medicine 
to dye ourselves, hair, nails, everything. Then we 
will stand by you with pleasure like Aethiopian slaves, 
without undergoing any tortures, and our change of 
colour will take in our enemies/ ' Oh ! yes," said 
Giton, "and please circumcise us too, so that we look 
like Jews, and bore our ears to imitate Arabians, and 
chalk our faces till Gaul takes us for her own sons ; as 
if this colour alone could alter our shapes, when it 
takes a number of points in unison to make a good 
lie. Suppose the stain of dye on the face could last 
for some time; imagine that never a drop of water 
could make any mark on our skins, nor our clothes 
stick to the ink, which often clings to us without the 
use of any cement : but, tell me, can we make our 
lips swell to a hideous thickness? Or transform 
our hair with curling-tongs? Or plough up our fore- 
heads with scars? Or walk bow-legged? Or bend 
our ankles over to the ground? Or trim our beards 
in a foreign cut? Artificial colours dirty one's body 
without altering it. Listen, I have thought of this 
in desperation. Let us tie our heads in our clothes, 
and plunge into the deep." 

"God and man forbid," cried Eumolpus, "that you 103 

should make such a vile conclusion of your lives. No, 

better take my advice. My slave, as you learned by 

his razor, is a barber. Let him shave the head of 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
utriusque non solum capita, sed etiam supercilia. 
Sequar ego frontes notans inscriptione sollerti, ut 
videamini stigmate esse puniti. Ita eaedem litterae 
et suspicionem declinabunt quaerentium et vultus 
umbra supplicii tegent." 

Non est dilata fallacia, sed ad latus navigii furtim 
processimus capitaque cum superciliis denudanda 
tonsori praebuimus. Implevit Eumolpus frontes 
utriusque ingentibus litteris et notum fugitivorum 
epigramma per totam faciem liberali manu duxit. 
Unus forte ex vectoribus, qui acclinatus lateri navis 
exonerabat stomachum nausea gravem, notavit sibi ad 
lunam tonsorem intempestivo inhaerentem ministerio, 
execratusque omen, quod imitaretur naufragorum 
ultimum votum, in cubile reiectus est. Nos dissimu- 
lata nauseantis devotione ad ordinem tristitiae redi- 
mus, silentioque compositi reliquas noctis horas male 
soporati consumpsimus . . . 
104- Videbatur mihi secundum quietem Priapus dicere : 

'Encolpion quod quaeris, scito a me in navem tuam 
esse perductum. ' " Exhorruit Tryphaena et " Putes " 
inquit una nos dormiisse ; nam et mihi simulacrum 
Neptuni, quod Baiis in tetrastylo 1 notaveram, videbatur 
dicere : in nave Lichae Gitona invenies.' " " Hinc 
scies" inquit Eumolpus Epicurum esse hominem 
divinum, qui eiusmodi ludibria facetissima ratione con- 
de^mat ,, ... 

ceterum Lichas ut Tryphaenae somnium expiavit, 
quis ' ' inquit prohibet navigium scrutari, ne videamur 
divinae mentis opera damnare ? " 

1 Baiis in tetrastylo BuecheUr : Baistor asylo. 
210 



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SATYRICON 

each of you this minute, and your eyebrows as well. 
Then I will come and mark your foreheads with some 
neat inscription, so that you look like slaves punished 
by branding. These letters will divert inquisitive 
people's suspicions, and at the same time conceal your 
faces with the shadow of punishment/ ' We tried the 
trick at once, and walked cautiously to the side of the 
ship, and yielded up our heads and eyebrows to the 
barber to be shorn. Eumolpus covered both our fore- 
heads with enormous letters, and scrawled the usual 
mark of runaway slaves all over our faces with a generous 
hand. But one of the passengers, who was extremely 
seasick, happened to be leaning over the side of the 
ship to relieve his stomach, and observed the barber 
in the moonlight busy with his ill-timed work. The 
man cursed this for an omen, because it looked like 
the last offering of a doomed crew, and then threw 
himself back into his bunk. We pretended not to 
hear his puking curses, and went on with the gloomy 
business, and then lay down in silence and passed 
the remaining hours of the night in uneasy sleep. . . 

" I thought I heard Priapus say in my dream: I 104 
tell you, Encolpius whom you seek has been led by me 
on board your ship/ " Tryphaena gave a scream and 
said, You would think we had slept together; I 
dreamed that a picture of Neptune, which I noticed in 
a gallery at Baiae, said to me : ' You will find Giton on 
board Lichas's ship/ " This shows you," said Eumol- 
pus, that Epicurus was a superhuman creature; he 
condemns jokes of this kind in a very witty fashion." . . 
However, Lichas first prayed that Tryphaena* s dream 
might mean no harm, and then said, ' There is no 
objection to searching the ship to show that we do 
not despise the workings of Providence." Then the 
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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

Is qui nocte miserorum furtum deprehenderat, 
Hesus nomine, subito proclamat : " Ergo illi qui sunt, 
qui nocte ad lunam radebantur pessimo medius fidius 
exemplo ? Audio enim non licere cuiquam mortalium 
in nave neque ungues neque capillos deponere, nisi 
105 cum pelago ventus irascitur." Excanduit Lichas hoc 
sermone turbatus et 'itane" inquit capillos aliquis 
in nave praecidit, et hoc nocte intempesta? Attrahite 
ocius nocentes in medium, ut sciam, quorum capitibus 
debeat navigium lustrari. ,, Ego" inquit Eumolpus 
hoc iussi. Nee in 1 eodem futurus navigio auspicium 
mihi feci, sed quia nocentes horridos longosque habe- 
bant capillos, ne viderer de nave carcerem facere, 
iussi squalorem damnatis auferri ; simul ut notae quo- 
que litterarum non adumbratae comarum praesidio 
totae ad oculos legentium acciderent. Inter cetera 
apud communem amicam consumpserunt pecuniam 
meam, a qua illos proxima nocte extraxi mero un- 
guentisque perfusos. Ad summam, adhuc patrimonii 
mei reliquias olent" . . . 

itaque ut tutela navis expiaretur,placuitquadragenas 
utrique plagas imponi. Nulla ergo fit mora ; aggredi- 
untur nos furentes nautae cum funibus temptantque 
vilissimo sanguine tutelam placare. Et ego quidem 
tres plagas Spartana nobilitate concoxi. Ceterum 
Giton semel ictus tarn valde exclamavit, ut Tryphaenae 
aures notissima voce repleret. Non solum era 2 turbata 
est, sed ancillae etiam omnes familiari sono inductae 
ad vapulantem decurrunt. lam Giton mirabili forma 

1 nee in Buechelet : nee non. 

2 era Buecheler : ergo. 
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SATYRICON 

man who had caught us at our wretched tricks the 
night before, whose name was Hesus, suddenly shouted, 
"Then who are those fellows who were being shaved 
in the dark by moonlight ? A mighty bad precedent, 
I swear. I am told that no man alive ought to shed 
a nail or a hair on board ship, unless winds and waves 
are raging." At this speech Lichas fired up in alarm, 1 05 
and said, "What, has anyone cut his hair on board 
my ship, and at dead of night too ? Quick, bring the 
villains out here. I want to know who is to be pun- 
ished to give us a clear voyage." "Oh," said Eumol- 
pus, " I gave those orders. I was not doing anything 
unlucky, considering that I had to share the voyage 
myself. It was because these ruffians had long, dirty 
hair. I did not want to turn the ship into a prison, 
so I ordered the filth to be cleared off the brutes. 
Besides, I did not want the marks of branding to be 
screened and covered by their hair. They ought to 
show at full length for every one to read. Further- 
more, they squandered my money on a certain lady 
friend of ours ; I pulled them away from her the night 
before, reeking with wine and scent. In fact, they 
still stink of the shreds of my inheritance/ ' . . 

So it was decided that forty stripes should be in- 
flicted on each of us to appease the guardian angel of 
the ship. Not a moment was lost ; the angry sailors ad- 
vanced upon us with ropes-ends, and tried to soften 
their guardian angel's heart with our miserable blood. 
For my part I bore three full blows with Spartan 
pride. But Giton cried out so lustily the moment he 
was touched, that his familiar voice filled Tryphaena's 
ears. Not only was the lady in a flutter, but all her 
maids were drawn by the well-known tones, and came 
running to the victim. Giton* s loveliness had already 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
exarmaverat nautas coeperatque etiam sine voce saevi- 
entes rogare, cum ancillae pariter proclamant : " Giton 
est, Giton, inhibete crudelissimas manus; Giton est, 
domina, succurre." Deflectit aures Tryphaena iam 
sua sponte credentes raptimque ad puerum devolat. 
Lichas, qui me optime noverat, tanquam et ipse vocem 
audisset, accurrit et nee manus nee faciem meam con- 
sideravit, sed continuo ad inguina mea luminibus 
deflexis movit officiosam manum et Salve" inquit 
"EncolpL" Miretur nunc aliquis Vlixis nutricem 
post vicesimum annum cicatricem invenisse originis 
indicem, cum homo prudentissimus conhisis omnibus 
corporis orisque 1 lineamentis ad unicum fugitivi argu- 
mentum tarn docte pervenerit. Tryphaena lacrimas 
eflfudit decepta supplicio — vera enim stigmata credebat 
captivorum frontibus impressa — sciscitarique submis- 
sius coepit, quod ergastulum intercepisset errantes, 
aut cuius tarn crudeles manus in hoc supplicium 
durassent. Meruisse quidem contumeliam aliquam 
fugitivos, quibus in odium bona sua venissent . . . 
106 concitatus iracundia prosiliit Lichas et "O te" inquit 
"feminam simplicem, tanquam vulnera ferro praepa- 
rata litteras biberint. Utinam quidem hac se inscrip- 
tione frontis maculassent: haberemus nos extremum 
solacium. Nunc mimicis artibus petiti sumus et 
adumbrata inscriptione derisi." 

Volebat Tryphaena misereri, quia non totam volu- 
ptatem perdiderat, sed Lichas memor adhuc uxoris 

1 orisque BuecheUr : indiciorumque. 
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SATYRICON 

disarmed the sailors; even without speaking he ap- 
pealed to his tormentors. Then all the maids screamed 
out together: ' It is Giton, it is; stop beating him, 
you monsters. Help, ma'am, Giton is here." Try- 
phaena had already convinced herself, and inclined 
her ear to them, and flew on wings to the boy. Ljchas, 
who knew me intimately, ran up as though he had 
heard my voice too, and did not glance at my hands 
or face, sed continuo ad inguina mea luminibus 
deflexis movit officiosam manum, and said, " How are 
you, Eneolpius?" No one need be surprised that 
Ulysses's nurse discovered the scar 1 which revealed 
his identity after twenty years, when a clever man 
hit upon the one test of a runaway so bril- 
liantly, though every feature of his face and body 
was disguised. Tryphaena, thinking that the marks 
on our foreheads were real prisoners' brands, cried 
bitterly over our supposed punishment, and began to 
inquire more gently what prison had stayed us in our 
wanderings, and what hand had been so ruthless as 
to inflict such marks upon us. But, of course," she 
said, "runaway slaves who come to hate their own 
happiness, do deserve some chastisement." . . 

Lichas leaped forward in a transport of rage and 106 
cried, " You silly woman, as if these letters were made 
by the scars of the branding-iron. I only wish they 
had defiled their foreheads with this inscription : we 
should have some consolation left. As it is, we are 
being assailed by an actor's tricks, and befooled by a 
sham inscription." 

Tryphaena besought him to have pity, because she 
had not lost all her desire for Giton, but the seduction 

1 See Homer's Odyssey, Book xix. She recognized Ulysses 
by an old scar on his leg. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
corruptee contumeliarumque, quas in Herculis porticu 
acceperat, turbato vehementius vultu pcoclamat: Deos 
immortales rerum humanarum agere curam, puto, 
intellexisti, o Tryphaena. Nam imprudentes noxios 
in nostrum induxere navigium, et quid fecissent, ad- 
monuerunt pari somniorum consensu. Ita vide, ut 
possit illis ignosci, quos ad poenam ipse deus deduxit. 
Quod ad me attinet, non sum crudelis, sed vereor, ne 
quod remisero, patiar." Tarn superstitiosa oratione 
Tryphaena muteta negat se interpellare supplicium, 
immo accedere etiam iustissimae ultioni. Nee se 
minus grandi vexatem iniuria quam Licham, cuius 
pudoris dignites in contione proscripta sit . . . 
107 Me, ut puto, hominem non ignotum, elegerunt ad 

hoc officium [legatum] petieruntque, ut se recon- 
ciliarem aliquando amicissimis. Nisi forte putatis 
iuvenes casu in has plagas incidisse, cum omnis vector 
nihil priiis quaerat, quam cuius se diligentiae credat. 
Flectite ergo mentes satisfactione lenitas, et patimini 
liberos homines ire sine iniuria, quo destinant. Saevi 
quoque implacabilesque domini crudelitatem suam im- 
pediunt, si quando paenitentia fugitivos reduxit, et 
dediticiis hostibus parcimus. Quid ultra petitis aut 
quid vultis? In conspectu vestro supplices iacent iuvenes 
ingenui, honesti, et quod utroque potentius est, 
familiaritate vobis aliquando coniuncti. Si mehercules 
Jntervertissent pecuniam vestram, si fidem proditione 
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SATYRICON 

of his wife and the insults offered to him in the Porch 
of Hercules were still in Lichas's mind, and he cried 
out with a look of still more profound agitation, "Try- 
phaena, I believe you admit that the Gods in Heaven 
take some trouble about men's affairs. They brought 
these sinners on board my boat without their know- 
ledge, and told us what they had done by a coinci- 
dence in dreams. Then do consider; how can we 
possibly pardon people whom a God himself has handed 
over to us for punishment? I am not a bloodthirsty 
man, but personally I am afraid that if I let them off 
anything it will fall on me." Tryphaena veered round 
at this appeal to superstition, declined to interfere 
with the punishment, and declared that she approved 
of this most proper vengeance. She had been just 
as gravely wronged as Lichas, considering that her 
reputation for chastity had been publicly impugned. . . 

" I believe I am a man of some reputation, and they 1 07 
have chosen me for this duty, and begged me to make 
it up between them and their old friends. I suppose 
you do not imagine that these young men have 
fallen into the snare by chance, when the first care of 
every one who goes a voyage is to find a trustworthy 
person to depend on. So unbend the sternness which 
has been softened by revenge, and let the men go free 
without hindrance to their destination. Sven a harsh 
and unforgiving master reins in his cruelty if his run- 
aways are at last led back by penitence, and we all 
spare an enemy who surrenders. What do you want 
or wish for more ? These free and respectable young 
men lie prostrate before your eyes, and what is more 
important, they were once bound to you by close friend- 
ship. I take my oath that if they had embezzled your 
money, or hurt you by betraying your confidence, you 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
laesissent, satiari tamen potuissetis hac poena, quam 
videtis. Servitia ecce in frontibus cernitis et vultus 
ingenuos voluntaria poenarum lege proscriptos." In- 
terpellavit deprecationem supplicii 1 Lichas et ' Noli " 
inquit causam confundere, sed impone singulis modum. 
Ac primum omnium, si ultro venerunt, cur nudavere 
crinibus capita? Vultum enim qui permutat, fraudem 
parat, non satisfactionem. Deinde, si gratiam a legato 
moliebantur, quid ita omnia fecisti, ut quos tuebaris, 
absconderes ? Ex quo apparet casu incidisse noxios in 
plagas et te artem quaesisse, qua nostrae animad- 
versionis impetum eluderes. Nam quod invidiam facis 
nobis ingenuos honestosque clamando, vide, ne deteri- 
orem facias confidentia causam. Quid debent laesi 
facere, ubi rei ad poenam confugiunt ? At enim amici 
fuerunt nostri: eo maiora meruerunt supplicia; nam 
qui ignotos laedit, latro appellator, qui amicos, paulo 
minus quam parricida." Resolvit Eumolpos tarn ini- 
quam declamation em et Intellego" inquit nihil 
magis obesse iuvenibus miseris, quam quod nocte cle- 
posuerunt capillos : hoc argumento incidisse videntur 
in navem, npn venisse. Quod velim tarn candide ad 
aures vestras perveniat, quam simpUciter gestum est. 
Voluerunt enim antequam conscenderent, exonerare 
capita molesto et supervacuo pondere, sed celerior 
ventus distulit curationis propositum. Nee tamen 
putaverunt ad rem pertinere, ubi inciperent, quod 
placuerat ut fieret, quia nee omen nee legem navigan- 

1 supplicii Buecheler: supplicis. 
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SATYRICON 

might still be satisfied with the punishment you have 
seen inflicted. Look, you see slavery on their fore- 
heads, and their free faces branded under a self- 
imposed sentence of punishment. ' ' Lichas interrupted 
this plea for mercy, saying, Do not go confusing the 
issue, but let each single point have its place. And 
first of all, if they came of their own accord, why have 
they stripped all the hair off their heads ? A man who 
disguises himself wants to play a trick, not to make 
amends. Again, if they were contriving some act of 
grace through a mediator, why did you do everything 
in your power to hide your proteges away ? All this 
makes it clear that the ruffians fell into the net by 
accident, and that you hunted for some device to avoid 
the force of our displeasure. When you try to pre- 
judice us by calling them free and respectable, mind 
you do not spoil your case by impudence. What 
should an injured party do, when the guilty run into 
punishment ? Oh! you say, they were once our friends! 
Then they deserve the harsher treatment. A person 
who injures a stranger is called a robber, but a man 
who hurts his friends is practically a parricide." 
Eumolpus put an end to this unfair harangue by saying, 
*' I know that nothing is more against the poor young 
men than their cutting their hair at night. This looks 
like a proof that they came by chance upon the ship 
and did not come on purpose. • Now I want the plain 
truth to come to your ears just as simply as it happened. 
They wanted to relieve their heads of the troublesome 
and useless weight before they came aboard, but the 
wind got up and postponed their scheme of treatment. 
They never thought that it made any difference where 
they began what they had decided to do ; they were 
quite ignorant of sailors' omens and sea-law." But 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
tium noverant." "Quid" inquit Lichas ' attinuit 
supplices radere? Nisi forte miserabiliores calvi solent 
esse. Quamquam quid attinet veritatem per inter- 
pretem quaerere? quid dicis tu, latro? quae salamandra 
supercilia tua exussit? cui deo xrinem "vovisti? phar- 
mace, responde." 
108 Obstupueram ego supplicii metu pavidus, nee quid 
in re manifestissima dicerem, inveniebam turbatus . . . 
et deformis praeter spoliati capitis dedecus super- 
ciliorum etiam aequalis cum fronte calvities, ut nihil 
nee facere deceret nee dicere. Ut vero spongia uda 
facies plorantis detersa est et liquefactum per totum 
os atramentum omnia scilicet lineamenta fuliginea 
nube confudit, in odium se ira convertit. Negat 
Eumolpus passurum se, ut quisquam ingenuos contra 
fas legemque contaminet, interpellatque saevientium 
minas non solum voce sed etiam manibus. / Aderat 
interpellanti mercennarius comes et unus alterque in- 
nrmissimus vector, solacia magis litis quam virium 
auxilia. Nee quicquam pro me deprecabar, sed inten- 
tans in oculos Tryphaenae manus usurum me viribus 
meis clara liberaque voce clamavi, ni abstineret a 
Gitone iniuriam mulier damnata et in toto navigio 
sola verberanda, Accenditur audacia mea iratior 
Lichas, indignaturque quod ego relicta mea causa 
tan turn pro alio clamo. Nee minus Tryphaena con- 
tumelia saevit accensa totiusque navigii turbam diducit 
in partes. Hinc mercennarius tonsor ferramenta sua 
nobis et ipse armatus distribuit, illinc Tryphaenae 
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SATYRICON 

why should they shave themselves to excite pity?" 
said Lichas, Unless of course bald people are naturally 
more pitiable. But what is the use of trying to dis- 
cover the truth through a third person ? Now speak 
up, you ruffian ! Who was the salamander that singed 
off your eyebrows ? What God had the promise of your 
hair ? Answer me, gallows-bird ! " 

I was dumb with terror of being punished, and too 108 
upset to find a word to say, for the case was only too 
clear. . . .We were in no position to speak, or do anything, 
for to say nothing of the disgrace of our shaven heads, 
our eyebrows were as bald as our pates. But when a 
wet sponge was wiped down my doleful countenance, 
and the ink ran over all my face and of course 
blotted out every feature in a cloud of smut, anger 
passed 'into loathing. Eumolpus cried out that he 
would not allow anyone to disfigure free young men 
without right or reason, and cut short the angry sailors' 
threats not only by argument but by force. His slave 
stood by him in his protest, and one or two of the 
most feeble passengers, who rather consoled him for 
naving to fight than increased his strength. For my 
part I shirked nothing. I shook my fist in Tryphaena's 
face, and declared in a loud open voice that I would 
use violence to her if she did not leave off hurting 
Giton, for she was a wicked woman and the only 
person on the ship who deserved flogging. Lichas's 
wrath blazed hotter at my daring, and he taunted me 
with throwing up my own case and only shouting for 
somebody else. Tryphaena was equally hot and angry 
and abusive, and divided the whole ship's company 
into factions. On our side, the slave barber handed 
out his blades to us, and kept one for himself, on the 
other side Tryphaena's slaves were ready with bare 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

familia nudas expedit manus, ac ne ancillarum quidem 
clamor aciem destituit, uno tantum gubernatore reli- 
cturum se navis ministeriumdenuntiante,sinon desinat 
rabies libidine perditorum collecta. Nihilo minus 
tamen perseverat dimicantium furor, illis pro ultione, 
nobis pro vita pugnantibus. Multi ergo utrinque sine 
morte labuntur, plures cruenti vnlneribus referunt 
veluti ex proelio pedem, nee tamen cuiusquam ira 
laxatur. Tunc fortissimus Giton ad virilia sua admovit 
novaculam infestam, minatus se abscisurum tot mise- 
riarum causam, inhibuitque Tryphaena tarn grande 
facinus non dissimulata missione. Saepius ego cultrum 
tonsorium super iugulum meum posui, non magis me 
occisurus, quam Giton, quod minabatur, facturus. 
Audacius tamen ille tragoediam implebat, quia sciebat 
se illam habere novaculam, qua iam sibi cervicem 
LO praeciderat. | Stante ergo utraque acie, cum appareret 
futurum non tralaticium bellum, aegre expugnavtt 
gubernator, ut caduceatoris more Tryphaena indutias 
faceret. Data ergo acceptaque ex more patrio fide 
praetendit ramum oleae a tutela navigii raptum, atque 
in colloquium venire ausa 

"Quis furor" exclamat pacem conyertitin arma? 
Quid nostrae meruere manus? Non Troius heros 
hac in classe vehit decepti pignus Atridae, 
nee Medea furens fraterno sanguine pugnat. 
Sed contemptus amor vires habet. Ei mihi, fata 

hos inter fluctus quis raptis evocat armis? 
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SATYRICON 

fists, and even the cries of women were not unheard on 
the field. The helmsman alone swore that he would give 
up minding the ship if this madness, which had been 
stirred up to suit a pack of scoundrels, did not stop. 
None the less, the fury of the combatants persisted, the 
enemy fighting for revenge and we for dear life. Many 
fell on both sides without fatal results, still more got 
bloody wounds and retired in the style of a real battle, 
and still we all raged implacably. Then the gallant 
Giton turned a razor on himself and threatened to put 
an end to our troubles by self-mutilation, and Tryphaena 
averted the horrible disaster by a fair promise of free- 
dom. I lifted a barber's knife to my throat several times, 
no more meaning to kill myself than Giton meant to do 
what he threatened. Still he filled the tragic part more 
recklessly, because he knew that he was holding the 
very razor with which he had already made a cut on his 
throat. Both sides were drawn up in battle array, and it 
was plain that the fight would be no ordinary affair, when 
the helmsman with difficulty induced Tryphaena to con- 
clude a treaty like a true diplomat. So the usual formal 
undertakings were exchanged, and she waved an olive- 
branch which she took from the ship's figure-head, and 
ventured to come up and talk to us : What madness," 
she cried, is turning peace into war ? What have our 
hands done to deserve it ? No Trojan hero 1 carries the 
bride of the cuckold son of Atreus in this fleet, nor 
does frenzied Medea 2 fight her foe by slaying her^ . 
brother. But love despised is powerful. Ah ! who 
courts destruction among these waves by drawing 

1 Paris. 

2 Absyrtus, Medea's brother, and son of Aietes, king of 
Colchis, plotted against Jason, who had come seeking the 
Golden Fleece. Medea killed him and fled with Jason. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

Cui non est mors una satis? Ne vincite pontum 
gurgitibusque feris alios imponite fluctus." 
1 09 Haec ut turbato clamore mulier effudit, haesit 
paulisper acies, revocataeque ad pacem manus inter- 
misere bellum. Utitur paenitentiae occasione dux 
Eumolpos et castigato ante vehementissime Licha 
tabulas foederis signal quis haec formula erat: Ex 
tui animi sententia, ut tu, Tryphaena, neque iniuriam 
tibi factam a Gitone quereris, neque si quid ante hunc 
diem factum est, obicies vindicabisve aut ullo alio 
genere persequendum curabis ; ut tu nihil imperabis 
puero repugnanti, non amplexum, non osculum, non 
coitum venere constrictum, nisi pro qua re praesentes 
numeraveris denarios centum. Item, Licha, ex tui 
animi sententia, ut tu Encolpion nee verbo contume- 
lioso insequeris nee vultu, neque quaeres ubi nocte 
dormiat, aut si quaesieris, pro singulis iniuriis numera- 
bis praesentes denarios ducenos." In haec verba 
L foederibus compositis arma deponimus, | et ne residua 
in animis etiam post iusiurandum ira remaneret, prae- 
terita aboleri osculis placet. Exhortantibus universis 
odia detumescunt, epulaeque ad certamen prolatae 
LO conciliant hilaritate concordiam. 1 | Exsonat ergo can- 
tibus totum navigium, et quia repentina tranquillitas 
intermiserat cursum, alius exultantes quaerebat fuscina 
pisces, alius hamis blandientibus convellebat praedam 
repugnantem. Ecce etiam per antemnam pelagiae 
consederant volucres, quas textis harundinibus peritus 

1 concordiam BuecheUr: concilium. 
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SATYRICON 

the sword? Who does not find a single death 
enough ? Do not strive to outdo the sea and heap 
fresh waves upon its savage floods." 

The woman poured out these words in a loud excited 1 09 
voice, the fighting died away for a little while, our 
hands were recalled to the way of peace, and dropped 
the war. Our leader Eumolpus seized the occasion 
of their relenting, and after making a warm attack 
on Ldchas, signed the treaty, which ran as follows: 
Agreed on your part, Tryphaena, that you will 
not complain of any wrong done to you by Giton, and 
if any has been done to you before this date will 
not bring it up against him or punish him or take 
steps to follow it up in any other way whatsoever; 
that you will give the boy no orders which he dislikes, 
for a hug, a kiss, or a lover's close embrace, without 
paying a hundred pieces for it cash down. Further- 
more, it is agreed on your part, Lichas, that you will 
not pursue Encolpius with insulting words or grimaces, 
nor inquire where he sleeps at night, or if you do in- 
quire will pay two hundred pieces cash down for every 
injurious act done to him." Peace was made on these 
terms, and we laid down our arms, and for fear any 
vestige of anger should be left in our minds, even 
after taking the oath, we decided to wipe out the 
past with a kiss. There was applause all round, our 
hatred died down, and a feast which had been brought 
for the fight cemented our agreement with joviality. 
Then the whole ship rang with songs ; and a sudden 
calm having stayed us in our course, one man pursued 
the leaping fish with a spear, another pulled in his 
struggling prey on alluring hooks. Besides all this, 
some sea-birds settled on one of the yards, and a 
clever sportsman took them in with a jointed rod of 
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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

artifex tetigit ; illae viscatis illigatae viminibus defe- 
rebantur ad manus. Tollebat plumas aura volitantes, 
pinnasque per maria inanis spuma torquebat. 

lam Lichas redire mecum in gratiam coeperat, iam 
Tryphaena Gitona extrema parte potionis spargebat, 
cum Eumolpus et ipse vino solutus dicta voluit in 
calvos stigmososque iaculari, donee consumpta frigidis- 
sima urbanitate rediit ad carmina sua coepitque capil- 
lorum elegidarion dicere : 
" Quod solum f ormae decus est, cecidere capilli, 
vernantesque comas tristis abegit hiemps. 
Nunc umbra nudata sua iam tempora maerent, 

areaque attritis ridet adulta 1 pilis. 
O fallax natura deum : quae prima dedisti 
aetati nostrae gaudia, prima rapis." 
'infelix, modo crinibus nitebas 
Phoebo pulchrior et sorore Phoebi. 
At nunc levior aere vel rotundo 
horti tubere, quod creavit unda, 
ridentes fugis et times puellas. 
tit mortem citius venire credas, 
scito iam capitis perisse partem." 
110 Plura volebat proferre, credo, et ineptiora praeteri- 
tis, cum ancilla Tryphaenae Gitona in partem navis 
inferiorem ducit corymbioque dominae pueri adornat 
caput. Immo supercilia etiam profert de pyxide scite- 
que iacturae lineamenta secuta totam illi formam 
suam reddidit. Agnovit Tryphaena verum Gitona, 
lacrimisque turbata tunc primum bona fide puero 
1 adulta Buecheler : adusta. 
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SATYRICON 

rushes ; they were snared by these limed twigs and 
brought down into our hands. The breeze caught 
their feathers as they flew, and the light foam lashed 
their wings as they skimmed the sea. 

Lichas was just beginning to be friendly with me 
again, Tryphaena was just pouring the dregs of a drink 
over Giton, when Eumolpus, who was unsteady with 
drink himself, tried to aim some satire at bald persons 
and branded criminals, and after exhausting his chilly 
wit, went back to his poetry and began to declaim a 
little dirge on Hair : 

" The hair that is the whole glory of the body is 
fallen, dull winter has carried away the bright locks 
of spring. Now the temples are bare of their shade 
and are downcast, and the wide naked space on my old 
head shines where the hair is worn away. Ye Gods 
that love to cheat us; ye rob us first of the first joys 
ye cave to our youth. 

Poor wretch, a moment ago thy hair shone bright 
and more beautiful than Phoebus and the sister of 
Phoebus. Now thou art smoother than bronze or the 
round garden mushroom that is born in rain, and 
turnest in dread from a girl's mockery. To teach 
thee how quickly death shall come, know that a part 
of thine head hath died already." 

He wanted to produce some more lines even more 110 
silly than the last, I believe, when Tryphaena* s maid 
took Giton below decks, and ornamented the boy's head 
with some of her mistress's artificial curls. Further, 
she also took some eyebrows out of a box, and by cun- 
ningly following the lines where he was defaced she 
restored his proper beauty complete. Tryphaena re- 
cognized the true Giton, there was a storm of tears, 
and she then for the first time gave the boy a kiss 
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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

L basium dedit. | Ego etiam si repositum in pristinum 
decorem puerum gaudebam, abscondebam tamen fre- 
quentius vultum intellegebamque me non tralaticia 
^deformitate esse insignitum, quenralloquio dignum ne 
Lichas quidem crederet. Sed huic tristitiae eadem 
ilia succurrit ancilla, sevocatumque me non minus de- 
coro exornavit capillamento ; immo commendatior 
vultus enituit, quia flavum^corymbion erat . . . 
LO | Ceterum Eumolpos, et periclitantium advocatus et 
praesentis concordiae auctor, ne sileret sine fabulis 
hilaritas, multa in muliebrem levitatem coepit iactare : 
quam facile adamarent, quam cito etiam filiorum obli- 
viscerentur, nullamque esse feminam tam pudicam, 
quae non peregrina libidine usque ad furorem averte- 
retur. Nee se tragoedias veteres curare aut nomina 
saeculis nota, sed rem sua memoria factam, quam 
expositurum se esse, si vellemus audire. Conversis 
igitur omnium in se vultibus auribusque sic orsus est : 
111 " Matrona quaedam Ephesi tam notae erat pudici- 
tiae, ut vicinarum quoque gentium feminas ad specta- 
culum sui evocaret. /^Haec ergo cum virum extulisset, 
non contenta vulgari more funus passis prosequi crmi- 
bus aut nudatum pectus in conspectu frequentiae 
plangere, in conditorium etiam prosecuta est defim- 
ctum, positumque in hypogaeo Graeco more corpus 
custodire ac flere totis noctibus diebusque coepit./ Sic 
afflictantem se ac mortem inedia persequentem non 
parentes potuerunt abducere, non propinqui; magi- 
stratus ultimo repulsi abierunt, complorataque singularis 
1 flavum margin ed, of Tornaesius : flaucorum. 
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SATYRICON 

with real affection. Of course, I was glad to see him 
clothed again in his former loveliness, but still I kept 
hiding my own face continually, for I realized that I was 
marked with no common ugliness, since not even Lichas 
considered me fit to speak to. But the same maid came 
and rescued me from gloom, called me aside, and decked 
me with equally becoming curls. Indeed, my face shone 
with a greater glory. My curls were golden ! . . . 

Then Eumolpus, our spokesman in peril and the 
begetter of our present peace, to save our jollity from 
falling dumb for want of good stories, began to hurl 
many taunts at the fickleness of women ; how easily 
they fell in love, how quickly they forgot even 
their own sons, how no woman was so chaste that she 
could not be led away into utter madness by a passion 
for a stranger. He was not thinking of old tragedies 
or names notorious in history, but of an affair which 
happened in his lifetime. He would tell it us if we 
liked to listen. So all eyes and ears were turned 
upon him, and he began as follows : 

"There was a married woman in Ephesus of such 111 
famous virtue that she drew women even from the 
neighbouring states to gaze upon her. So when she 
had buried her husband, the common fashion of follow- 
ing the procession with loose hair, and beating the 
naked breast in front of the crowd, did not satisfy her. 
She followed the dead man even to his resting-place, 
and began to watch and weep night and day over the 
body, which was laid in an underground vault in the 
Greek fashion. Neither her parents nor her relations 
could divert her from thus torturing herself, and 
courting death by starvation ; the officials were at last 
rebuffed and left her ; every one mourned for her as 
a woman of unique character, and she was now 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

exempli femina ab omnibus quintum iam diem sine 
alimento trahebat. Assidebat aegrae fidissima ancilla, 
simulque et lacrimas commodabat lugenti, et quotiens- 
cunque defecerat positum in monumento lumen 
renovabat. / Una igitur in tota civitate fabula erat, 
solum illud afFulsisse verum pudicitiae amorisque. ex- 
emplum omnis ordinis homines confitebantur, cum 
interim imperator provinciae latrones iussit crucibus 
affigi secundum illam casulam, in qua recens cadaver 
"matrona deflebat.^~Proxima ergo nocte, cum miles, 
qui cruces asservabat, ne quis ad sepulturam corpus 
detraheret, notasset sibi [et] lumen inter monumenta 
clarius fulgens et gemitum lugentis audisset, vitio 
gentis humanae concupiit scire, quis aut quid faceret^ 
Descendit igitur in conditoriumyvisaque puVherrima ' 
muliere primo quasi quodam monstro infernisque 
imaginibus turbatus substitit. ) Deinde ut et corpus 
iacentis conspexit et lacrimas consideravit faciemque 
unguibus sectam, ratus scilicet id quod erat, deside- 
rium extincti non posse feminam pati, attulit in 
monumentum cenulam suam coepitque hortari lugen- 
tem, ne perseveraret in dolore supervacuo ac nihil 
profuturo gemitu pectus diduceret : omnium eundem 
esse exitum [sed] et idem domiciliumj et cetera quibus 
exulceratae mentes ad sanitatem revocantur.7 At ilia 
ignota consolatione (percussa laceravit vehementius 
pectus^ ruptosque crines super corpus 1 iacentis imposuit.^ 
Non recessit tamen miles, sed eadem exhortatione 
temptavit dare mulierculae cibum, donee ancilla vini 

1 corpus Nodot : pectus. 
230 



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SATYRICON 

passing her fifth day without food. A devoted maid sat 
by the failing woman, shed tears in sympathy with 
her wpes, and at the same time filled up the lamp, 
which was placed in the tomb, whenever it sank. There 
was but one opinion throughout the city, >every class3 
of person admitting this was the one true and brilliant 
example of chastity 'and love. At this moment the 
governor of the province gave orders that some robbers 
should be crucified near the small building where the 
lady was bewailing her recent loss. J So? on the next 
night, when the soldier who was watching the crosses, 
to prevent- anyone taking down a body for burial, 
observed a light shining plainly among the tombs, and 
heard a mourner's groans, a very human weakness 
made him curious to know who it was and what he 
was doing. So he went down into the vault, and on 
seeing a very beautiful woman, at first halted in con- 
fusion, as if he had seen a portent or some ghost from 
the world beneath. But afterwards noticing the dead 
man lying there, and watching the woman's tears and 
the marks of her nails on her face, he came to the 
correct conclusion, that she found her regret for the 
lost one unendurable. He therefore brought his 
supper into the tomb, and began to urge the mourner 
not to persist in use\ess grief, and break her heart 
with unprofitable sobs: for all men made the same 
end and found the same resting-place, and so on with 
the other platitudes which restore wounded spirits to 
health. But she took no notice of his sympathy, 
struck and tore her breast more violently than ever, 
pulled out her hair, and laid it on the dead body. Still 
the soldier did not retire, but tried to give the poor 
woman food with similar encouragements, until the 
maid, who was no doubt seduced by the smell of his 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
certe ab eo odore corrupta primum ipsa porrexit ad 
humanitatem invitantis victam manum, deinde refecta 
potione et cibo expugnare dominae pertinaciam* coepit 
et Quid proderit* inquit hoc tibi, si soluta inedia 
fueris, si te vivam sepelieris, si antequam fata poscant, 
indemnatum spiritum effuderis? 

Id cinerem aut manes credis sentire sepultos? 
— Vis tu reviviscere ? Vis discusso muliebri errore, quam 
diu licuerit, lucis commodis frui ?f Ipsum te iacentis 
corpus admonere debet, ut vivas.' Nemo invitus audit, 
cum cogitur aut cibum sumere aut vivere. Itaque 
mulier aliquot dierum abstinentia sicca passa est frangi 
pertinaciam suam, nee minus avide replevit se cibo 
112 quam ancilla, quae prior victa est. 7 Ceterum ' scitis, 
quid plerumque soleat temptare humanam satietatem. 
Quibus blanditiis impetraverat miles, ut matrona vel- 
let vivere, isdem etiam pudicitiam eius aggressus est. 
Nee deformis aut infacundus iuvenis castae videbatur, 
conciliante gratiam aneilla ac subinde dicente : — 

Placitone etiam pugnabis amori? 
. Necvenit in mentem, quorum consederis arvis?' J 
quid diutius moror? ne hanc quidem partem corporis 
mulier abstinuit, victorque miles utrumque persuasit. 
Iacuerunt ergo una non tantum ilia nocte, qua nuptias 
fecerunt, sed postero etiam ac tertio die, praeclusis 
videlicet conditorii foribus, ut quisquis ex notis igno- 
tisque ad monumentum venisset, putaret expirasse 
super corpus viri pudicissimam uxorem. Ceterum 

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SATYRICON 

wine, first gave in herself/and put out her hand at his 
kindly invitation, and then, refreshed with food and 
drink, began to assail her mistress's obstinacy, and say, 
What, will you gain by all this, if you faint away with 
hunger, if you bury yourself alive, if you breathe out 
your undoomed soul before Fate calls for it ? ' Belie vest 
thou that the ashes or the spirit of the buried dead 
can feel thy woe ? 1 Will you not begin life afresh ? 
Will you not shake off this womanish failing, and 
enjoy the blessings of the light so long as you are 
allowed ? Your poor (lead husband's body here ought 
to persuade you to keep alive.' People are always 
ready to listen when they are urged to take a meal or 
to keep alive. So the lady, being thirsty after several 
days' abstinence, allowed her resolution to be broken 
down, and filled herself with food as greedily as the 
maid, who had been the first to yield. 

Well, you know which temptation generally assails 112 
a man on a full stomach. The soldier used the same 
insinuating phrases which had persuaded the lady to 
consent to live, to conduct an assault upon her virtue. 
Her modest eve saw in him a young man, handsome 
and eloquent, j The maid begged her to be gracious, 
and then said, 'Wilt thou fight love even when love 
pleases thee ? Or dost thou never remember in whose 
lands thou art resting? ' 2 I need hide the fact no 
longer. The lady ceased to hold out, and the con- 
quering hero won her over entire. So they passed 
not only their wedding night together, but the next 
and a third, of course shutting the door of the vault, 
so that any friend or stranger who came to the tomb 
would imagine that this most virtuous lady had 
breathed her last over her husband's body. Well, the 
1 See Virgil, ALneid iv, 34. * See Virgil, ^Eneid iv, 38. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

delectatus miles et forma mulieris et secreto, quicquid 

*- boni per facultates poterat, coemebat et prima statim 

npcte in monumentum ferebat. Itaque unius cruciarii 

parentes ut viderunt laxatam custodiam, detraxere 

nocte pendentem supremoque mandaverunt officio. 

- At miles circumscriptus dum desidet, ut postero die 

vidit unam sine cadavere crucem, veritus supplicium, 

mulieri quid accidisset exponit : nee se exspectaturum 

iudicis sententiam, sed /gladio ius dieturum ignaviae 

_ suae. Commodaretergo ilia perituro locum et fatale 

conditorium familiari ac viro faceretj Mulier non 

minus misericors quam pudica 'ne istdd* inquit * dii 
sinant, ut eodem tempore duorum mihi carissimorum 
hominum duo funera spectem. Malo'mortuum im- 
pendere quam vivum occidere.' Secundum hanc 
orationem iubet ex area corpus mariti sui tolli atque 
illi, quae vacabat, cruci affigi. Usus est miles ingenio 
prudentissimae feminae, posteroque die populus mi- 
ratus est, qua ratione mortuus isset in crucem." 
113 Risu excepere fabulam nautae, [et] erubescente non 
mediocriter Tiyphaena vultumque suum super cervi- 
cem Gitonis amabiliter ponente. At non Lichas risit, 
sed iratum commovens caput Si iustus" inquit "im- 
perator fuisset, debuit patris familiae corpus in monu- 
mentum referre, mulierem affigere cruci." 

Non dubie redierat in animum Hedyle expilatum- 
que libidinosa migratione navigium. Sed nee foederis 
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SATYRICON 

soldier was delighted with the woman's beauty, and 
his stolen pleasure; he bought up all the fine things 
his means permitted^ and carried them to the tomb 
the moment darkness fell. So the parents of one 
of the crucified, seeing that the watch was ill- 
kept, took their man down in the dark and adminis- 
tered the last rite to him. The soldier was eluded 
while he was off duty, and next day, seeing one of 
the crosses without its corpse, he was in terror of 
punishment, and explained to the lady what had 
happened. He declared that he would not wait for 
a court-martial, but. would punish his own neglect 
with a thrust of his sword. So she had better get 
ready a place for,A dying man, and let the gloomy 
vault enclose both her husband and her lover. The 
lady's heart was tender as well as pure. ' Heaven 
forbid,' she replied, 'that I should look at the same 
moment on the dead bodies of two men whom I love. 
No, I would rather make a dead man useful, than 
send a live man to death.' After this speech she 
ordered her husband's body to be taken out of the 
coffin and fixed up on the empty cross. The soldier 
availed himself of this far-seeing woman's device, and 
the people wondered the next day by what means the 
dead man had ascended the cross." 

The sailors received this tale with a roar; Try- 113 
phaena blushed deeply, and laid her face caressingly 
on Giton's neck. But there was no laugh from 
Lichas ; he shook his head angrily and said : If the 
governor of the province had been a just man, he 
should have put the dead husband back* in the tomb, 
and hung the woman on the cross." 

No doubt he was thinking once more of Hedyle 
and how his ship had been pillaged on her passionate 

235 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

verba permittebant meminisse, nee hilaritas, quae 
oecupaverat mentes, dabat iracundiae locum. Ceterum 
Tryphaena in gremio Gitonis posita modo implebat 
osculis pectus, interdum concinnabat spoliatum crini- 
L bus vultum. | Ego maestus et impatiens foederis novi 
non cibum, non potionem capiebam, sed obliquis truci- 
busque oculis utrumque spectabam. Omnia me oscula 
vulnerabant, omnes blanditiae, quascunque mulier 
libidinosa fingebat. Nee tamen adhuc sciebam, utrum 
magis puero irascerer, quod amicam mihi auferret, an 
amicae, quod puerum corrumperet: utraque inimi- 
cissima oculis meis et captivitate praeterita tristiora. 
Accedebat hue, quod neque Tiyphaena me alloque- 
batur tanquam familiarem et aliquando gratum sibi 
amatorem, nee Giton me aut tralaticia propinatione 
dignum iudicabat, aut quod minimum est, sermone 
communi vocabat, credo, veritus ne inter initia coeuntis 
gratiae recentem cicatricem rescinderet. Inundavere 
pectus lacrimae dolore paratae, gemitusque suspirio 
tectus animam paene submovit . . . 

In partem voluptatis temptabat admitti, nee domini 
supercilium induebat, sed amici quaerebat obse- 
quium . . . 

Si quid ingenui sanguinis habes, non pluris illam 
facies, quam scortum. Si vir fueris, non ibis ad spin- 
triam" 1 . . . 

Me nihil magis pungebat, 2 quam ne Eumolpus sen- 
sisset, quicquid illud fuerat, et homo dicacissimus 
carminibus vjndicaret ... 

Iurat Eumolpus verbis conceptissimis . . . 

1 spintriam margin ed. of Tornaesius ; spuicam or spuitam. 

2 pungebat Buecheler : pudebat. 

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SATYRICON 

elopement. But th$ terms of our treaty forbade us 
to bear grudges, and the joy which had filled our souls 
left no room for wrath. Tryphaena was now lying in 
Giton's lap, covering him with kisses one moment, 
and sometimes patting his shaven head. I was 
gloomy and uneasy about our new terms, and did not 
touch food or drink, but kept shooting angry looks 
askance at them both. Every kiss was a wound to 
me, every pleasing wile that the wanton woman con- 
jured up. I was not yet sure whether I was more 
angry with the boy for taking away my mistress, or 
with my mistress for leading the boy astray : both of 
them were hateful to my sight and more depressing 
than the. bondage I had escaped. And besides all 
this, Tryphaena did not address me like a friend whom 
she was once pleased to have for a lover, and Giton 
did not think fit to drink my health in the ordinary 
way, and would not even so much as include me in 
general conversation. I suppose he was afraid of re- 
opening a tender scar just as friendly feeling began to 
draw it together. My unhappiness moved me till 
tears overflowed my heart, and the groan I hid with a 
sigh almost stole my life away. . . 

He tried to gain admission to share their joys, not 
wearing the proud look of a master, but begging him 
to yield as a friend. . . 

"if you have a drop of honest blood in you you will 
think no more of her than of a common woman. Si vir 
fueris, non ibis ad spintriam" ... 

Nothing troubled me more than the fear that 
Eumolpus might have got some idea of what was going 
on, and might employ his powers of speech in attack- 
ing me in verse. . . 

Eumolpus swore an oath in most formal language. . . 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
114 Dum haec taliaque iactamus, inhorruit mare nu- 
besque undique adductae obruere tenebris diem. Dis- 
currunt nautae ad officia trepidantes velaque tempe- 
stati subducunt. Sed nee certosfluctusventusimpulerat, 
nee quodestinaretcursum,gubernatorsciebat.f Siciliam 
modo ventus dabat, saepissime [in oram] Italici litoris 
aquilo possessor con vertebat hue illuc obnoxiam ratem, 1 J 
et quod omnibus procellis periculosius erat, tarn spissae 
repente tenebrae lucem suppresserant, ut ne proram 
quidem totam gubernator videret. Itaque hercules 
postquam maris ira infesta 2 convaluit, Lichas trepidans 
ad me supinas porrigit manus et "tu" inquit "Encolpi, 
succurre periclitantibus et vestem illam divinam si- 
strumque redde navigio. Per fidem, miserere, quem- 
admodum quidem soles." 

Et ilium quidem vociferantem in mare ventus ex- 
cussit,repetitumqueinfesto gurgite procella circumegit 
atque hausit. Tryphaenam autem prope iam fide- 
lissimi rapuerunt servi, scaphaeque impositam cum 
maxima sarcinarum parte abduxere certissimae morti . . . 

Applicitus cum clamore flevi et "Hoc" inquam "a 
diis meruimus, ut nos sola morte coniungerent ? Sed 
non crudelis fortuna concedit. Ecce iam ratem fluctus 
evertet, ecce iam amplexus amantium iratum dividet 
mare. Igitur, si vere Encolpion dilexisti, da oscula, 
dum licet, et ultimum hoc gaudium fatis properantibus 
rape." Haec ut ego dixi, Giton vestem deposuit 

1 ratem Goldast: partem. 

2 maris era infesta Buecheler : manifesta. 
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SATYRICON 

While we talked over this matter and others, the 1 14 
sea rose, clouds gathered from every quarter, and 
overwhelmed the day in darkness. The sailors ran 
to their posts in terror, and furled the sails before the 
storm. But the wind did not drive the waves in any 
one direction, and the helmsman was at a loss which 
way to steer. One moment the wind set towards 
Sicily, very often the north wind blew off the Italian 
coast, mastered the ship and twisted her in every 
direction; and what was more dangerous than any 
squall, such thick darkness had suddenly blotted out 
the light that the steersman could not even see the 
whole prow. Then for a wonder, as the hostile fury of 
the storm gathered, Lichas trembled and stretched out 
his hands to me imploringly, and said, "Help us in 
our peril, Encolpius ; let the ship have the goddess's 
robe again and her holy rattle. 1 Be merciful, I implore 
you, as your way is." 

But even as he shouted the wind blew him into 
the water, a squall whirled him round and round 
repeatedly in a fierce whirlpool, and sucked him 
down. Tryphaena's faithful slaves carried her off 
almost by force, put her in a boat with most of her 
luggage, and so rescued her from certain death. . . 

I embraced Giton, and wept and cried aloud : " Did 
we deserve this from the gods, that they should unite 
us only when they slay ? But cruel Fate does not 
grant us even this. Look ! even now the waves will 
upset the boat ; even now the angry sea will sunder a 
lover's embrace. So if you ever really loved Encolpius, 
kiss him while you may, and snatch this last joy as 
Fate swoops down upon you." As I spoke Giton took 

1 Sacred emblems of Isis which Encolpius had probably 
Stolen, 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
meaque tunica contectus exeruit ad osculum caput. 
Et ne sic cohaerentes malignior fluctus distraheret, 
utrumque zona circumvenienti praecinxit et "Si nihil 
aliud, certe diutius" inquit iunctos nos mare 1 feret, 
vel si voluerit misericors ad idem litus expellere, aut 
praeteriens aliquis tralaticia humanitate lapidabit, aut 
quod ultimum est iratis etiam fluctibus, imprudens 
harena componet." Patior ego vinculum extremum, 
et veluti lecto funebri aptatus exspecto mortem iam 
non molestam. Peragit interim tempestas mandata 
fatorum omnesque reliquias navis expugnat. Non 
arbor erat relicta, non gubernacula, non funis aut 
remus, sed quasi rudis atque infecta materies ibat cum 
fluctibus . . . 

Procurrere piscatores parvulis expediti navigiis ad 
praedam rapiendam. Deinde ut aliquos viderunt, qui 
suas opes defenderent, mutaverunt crudelitatem in 
auxilium . . . 
115 Audimus murmur insolitum et sub diaeta magistri 
quasi cupientis exire beluae gemitum. Persecuti igitur 
sonum invenimus Eumolpum sedentem membranaeque 
ingenti versus ingerentem. Mirati ergo, quod illi 
vacaret in vicinia mortis pbema facere, extrahimus 
clamantem iubemusque bonam habere men tern. At 
ille interpellate excanduit et Sinite me" inquit 
"sententiam explere; laborat carmen in fine." Inicio 
ego phrenitico manum iubeoque Gitona accedere et in 
terrain trahere poetam mugientem . . . 

Hoc opere tandem elaborate casam piscatoriam 
subimus maerentes, cibisque naufragio corruptis 

1 iunctos nos mare Faber : iuncta nos mors. 
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SATYRICON 

off his clothes, and I covered him with my shirt as he 
put up his head to be kissed. And that no envious 
wave should pull us apart as we clung to each other, he 
put his belt round us both and tied it tight, saying, 

Whatever happens to us, at least we shall be locked 
together a long while as the sea carries us, and if the 
sea has pity and will cast us up on the same shore, some 
one may come by and put stones over us out of ordinary 
human kindness, or the last work of the waves even 
in their wrath will be to cover us with the unconscious 
sand." I let him bind me for the last time, and then 
waited, like a man dressed for his death-bed, for an 
end that had lost its bitterness. Meanwhile by Fate's 
decree the storm rose to its height, and took by violence 
all that was left of the ship. No mast, no helm, no 
rope or oar remained on her. She drifted on the waves 
like a rough and unshapen lump of wood. . . . 

Some fishermen in handy little boats put out to 
seize their prey. When they saw some men alive and 
ready to fight for their belongings, they altered their 
savage plans and came to the rescue. . . 

We heard a strange noise, and a groaning like a 1 1 5 
wild beast, coming from under the master's cabin. 
So we followed the noise, and found Eumolpus sitting 
there inscribing verses on a great parchment. We 
were surprised at his having time to write poetry with 
death close at hand, and we pulled him out, though 
he protested, and implored him to be sensible. But he 
was furious at our interruption, and cried: Let me 
complete my design; the poem halts at the close." 
I laid hands on the maniac, and told Giton to help 
me to drag the bellowing bard ashore. . . 

When this business was at last completed, we 
came sadly to a fisherman's cottage, refreshed our- 
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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

utcunque curati tristissimam exegimus noctem. Po- 
stero die, cum poneremus consilium, cui nos regioni 
crederemus, repente video corpus humanum circum- 
actum levi vertice ad litus deferri. Substiti ergo tristis 
coepique umentibus 1 oculis maris fidem inspicere et 
"Hunc forsitan" proclamo "in aliqua parte terrarum 
secura exspectat uxor, forsitan ignarus tempestatis 
filius aut pater; 2 utique reliquit aliquem, cui pro- 
ficiscens osculum dedit. Haec sunt consilia mortalium, 
haec vota magnarum cogitationum. En homo quern- 
admodum natat." Adhuc tanquam ignotum defle- 
bam, cum inviolatum os fluctus convertit in terram, 
agnovique terribilem paulo ante et implacabilem • Ld- 
cham pedibus meis paene subiectum. Non tenui 
igitur diutius lacrimas, immo percussi semel iterumque 
manibus pectus et "Ubi nunc est" inquam "iracundia 
tua, ubi impotentia tua? nempe piscibus beluisque 
expositus es, et qui paulo ante iactabas vires imperii 
tui, de tarn magna nave ne tabulam quidem naufragus 
habes. Ite nunc mortales, et magnis cogitationibus 
pectora implete. Ite cauti, et opes fraudibus captas 
per mille annos disponite. Nempe hie proxima luce 
patrimonii sui rationes inspexit, nempe diem etiam, 
quo venturus esset in patriam, animo suo fixit. 3 E)ii 
deaeque, quam longe a destinatione sua iacet. Sed 
non sola mortalibus maria hanc fidem praestant. Ilium 
bellantem arma decipiunt, ilium diis vota reddentem 
penatium suorum ruina sepelit. Ille vehiculo lapsus 
properantem spiritum excussit, cibus avidum strangu- 

1 umentibus margin ed. of Tornaesius : viventibus. 

2 pater Buecheler : patrem. 
* fixit Oeveringius : finxit. 
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SATYRICON 

selves more or less with food spoilt by sea- water, and 
passed a very miserable night. Next morning, as we 
were trying to decide into what part of the country 
we should venture, I suddenly saw a man's body caught 
in a gentle eddy and carried ashore. I stopped gloom- 
ily, and, with moist eyes, began to reflect upon the 
treachery of the sea. Maybe," I cried, there is a wife 
waiting cheerfully at home for this man in a far-off land, 
or a son or a father, maybe, who know nothing of this 
storm ; he is sure to have left some one behind whom 
he kissed before he went. So much for mortal men's 
plans, and the prayers of high ambition. Look how 
the man floats." I was still crying over him as a per- 
fect stranger, when a wave turned his face towards 
the shore without a mark upon it, and I recognized 
Lichas, but a while ago so fierce and so relentless, now 
thrown almost under my feet. Then I could restrain 
my tears no longer ; I beat my breast again and again, 
and cried, Where is your temper and your hot head 
now? Behold! you are a prey for fish and savage 
beasts. An hour ago you boasted the strength of 
your command, and you have not one plank of your 
great ship to save you. Now let mortal men fill their 
hearts with proud imaginations if they will. Let misers 
lay out the gains they win by fraud for a thousand 
years. Lo ! this man but yesterday looked into the 
accounts of his family property, and even settled in 
his own mind the very day when he would come home 
again. Lord, Lord, how far he lies from his consumma- 
tion ! But it is not the waves of the sea alone that thus 
keep faith with mortal men. The warrior's weapons 
fail him ; another pays his vows to Heaven, and his own 
house falls and buries him in the act. Another slips from 
his coach and dashes out his eager soul : the glutton 
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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
lavit, abstinentem frugalitas. Si bene calculum ponas, 
ubique naufragium est. At enim fluctibus obruto non 
contingit sepultura. Tanquam intersit, periturum 
-- * corpus quae ratio consumat, ignis an fluctus an mora. 
Quicquid feceris, omnia haec eodem ventura sunt. 
Ferae tamen corpus lacerabunt. Tanquam melius ignis 
accipiat; immo hanc poenam gravissimam credimus, 
ubi servis irascimur. Quae ergo dementia est, omnia 
facer e, ne quid de nobis relinquat sepultura?" . . . 

Et Licham quidem rogus inimicis collatus manibus 
adolebat. Eumolpus autem dum epigramma mortuo 

^ facit, oculos ad arcessendos sensus longius mittit . . . 

116 Hoc peracto libenter officio destinatum carpimus 
iter ac momento temporis in montem sudantes con- 
scendimus, ex quo haud procul impositum arce sub- 
limi oppidum cernimus. Nee quod esset, sciebamus 
errantes, donee a vilico quodam Crotona esse cognovi- 
mus, urbem antiquissimam et aliquando Italiae primam. 
Cum deinde diligentius exploraremus, qui homines 
inhabitarent nobile solum, quodve genus negotiations 
praecipue probarent post attritas bellis frequentibus 
opes, "O mi" inquit hospites, si negotiatores estis, 
mutate propositum aliudque vitae praesidium quaerite. 
Sin autem urbanioris notae homines sustinetis semper 
mentiri, recta ad lucrum curritis. In hac enim urbe 
non litterarum studia celebrantur, non eloquentia 
locum habet, non frugalitas sanctique mores laudibus 
ad fructum perveniunt, sed quoscunque homines in 
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SATYRICON 

chokes at dinner, the sparing man dies of want. Make 
a fair reckoning, and you find shipwreck everywhere. 
You tell me that for those the waters whelm there is no 
burial. As if it mattered how our perishable flesh comes 
to its end, by fire or water or the lapse of time ! What- 
ever you may do, all these things achieve the same 
goal. But beasts will tear the body, you say, as though 
fire would give it a more kindly welcome ! When we 
are angry with our slaves, we consider burning their 
heaviest punishment. Then what madness to take such 
trouble to prevent the grave from leaving aught of us 
behind !" . . . 

So Lichas was burned on a pyre built by his enemy's 
hands. Eumolpus proceeded to compose an epitaph 
on the dead man, and looked about in search of some 
far-fetched ideas. . . 

We gladly performed this last office, and then took 1 16 
up our proposed way, and in a short while came 
sweating to a mountain top, from which we saw, 
not far off, a town set on a high peak. We had lost 
ourselves, and did not know what it was, until we 
learned from a farm-bailiff that it was Croton, a town 
of great age, and once the first city in Italy. When 
we went on to inquire particularly what men lived on 
such honoured soil, and what kind of business pleased 
them best, now that their wealth had been brought 
low by so many wars, the man replied, My friends, 
if you are business men, change your plans and look 
for some other safe way of life. But if you profess to 
be men of a superior stamp and thorough-paced bars, 
you are on the direct road to wealth. In this 
city the pursuit of learning is not esteemed, elo- 
quence has no place, economy and a pure life do not 
win their reward in honour : know that the whole of 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

hac urbe videritis, scitote in duas partes esse divisos. 
Nam aut captantur aut captant. In hac urbe nemo 
liberos tollit, quia quisquis suos heredes habet, non ad 
cenas, 1 non ad spectacula admittitur, sed omnibus pro- 
hibetur commodis, inter ignominiosos latitat. Qui vero 
nee uxores unquam duxerunt nee proximas necessitu- 
dines habent, ad summos honores perveniunt, id est 
soli militares, soli fortissimi atque etiam innocentes 
habentur. Adibitis" inquit oppidum tanquam in 
pestilentia campos, in quibus nihil aliud est nisi cada- 
vera, quae lacerantur, aut corvi, qui lacerant" . . . 
117 prudentior Eumolpus convertit ad novitatem rei 
mentem genusque<divinationis sibi non displicere con- 
fessus est. Iocari ego senem poetica levitate credebam, 
cum ille Utinam quidem sufficeret largior scaena, id 
est vestis humanior, instrumentum lautius, quod prae- 
beret mendacio fidem : non mehercules penam istam 
differrem, sed continuo vos ad magnas opes ducerem. 
Atquin promitto, quicquid exigeret, dummodo placeret 
vestis, rapinae comes, et quicquid Lycurgi villa gras- 
santibus praebuisset. Nam nummos in praesentem 
usum deum matrem pro fide sua reddituram" . . . 

Quid ergo" inquit Eumolpus cessamus mimum 
componere? Facite ergo me dominum, si negotiatio 
placet." Nemo ausus est artem damnare nihil aufe- 
rentem. Itaque ut duraret inter omnes tutum men- 
dacium, in verba Eumoipi sacramentum iuravimus: 
uri, vinciri, verberari ferroque necari, et quicquid 
aliud Eumolpus iussisset Tanquam legitimi gladia- 
1 cenas Bongarsius ; scenas. 
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r SATYRICON 

the men you see in this city are divided into two 
classes. They are either the prey of legacy-hunting or 
legacy-hunters themselves. In this city no one bring? 
up children, because anyone who has heirs of his own 
stock is never invited to dinner or the theatre ; he is 
deprived of all advantages, and lies in obscurity among 
the base-born. But those who have never married, and 
have no near relations, reach the highest positions; 
they alone, that is, are considered soldierly, gallant, 
or even good. Yes," he went on, you will go into 
a town that is like a plague-stricken plain, where 
there is nothing but carcasses to be devoured, and 
crows to devour them." . . . 

Eumolpus was more cautious, and directed his 117 
attention to the novelty of the case, declaring that 
this kind of prophecy did not make him uneasy. I 
thought the old man was joking with the light heart 
of a poet, but then he said, I only wish I had a more 
ample background, I mean a more gentlemanly dress, 
and finer ornaments, to lend colour to my strange tale ; 
I declare I would not put off the business, I would 
bring you into great wealth in a moment. Anyhow, 
I promise to do whatever my fellow-robber demands, 
so long as my clothes are satisfactory, and whatever 
we may find in Lycurgus's house when we break in. I 
am sure that our mother goddess for her honour's 
sake will pay up some coin to us for present needs." . . . 
"Well then," said Eumolpus, "Why shouldn't we 
make up a farce? Now appoint me your master, if 
you like the business." No one dared to grumble 
at this harmless device. So to keep the lie safe 
among us all, we took an oath to obey Eumolpus ; 
to endure burning, bondage, flogging, death by the 
sword, or anything else that Eumolpus ordered. We 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
tores domino corpora animasque religiosissime addici- 
mus. Post peractum sacramentum serviliter ficti 
dominum consalutamus, elatumque ab Eumolpo filium 
pariter condiscimus, iuvenem ingentis eloquentiae et 
spei, ideoque de civitate sua miserrimum senem exisse, 
ne aut clientes sodalesque filii sui aut sepulcrum 
quotidie causam lacrimarum cerneret. Accessisse 
huic tristitiae proximum naufragium, quo amplius 
vicies sestertium amiserit; nee ilium iactura moveri, 
sed destitutum ministerio non agnoscere dignitatem 
suam. Praeterea habere in Africa trecenties sester- 
tium fundis nominibusque depositum; nam familiam 
quidem tam magnam per agros Numidiae esse sparsam, 
ut possit vel Carthaginem capere. Secundum hanc 
formulam imperamus Eumolpo, ut plurimum tussiat, 
ut sit modo solutions stomachi cibosque omnes palam 
damnet; loquatur aurum et argentum fundosque 
mendaces et perpetuam terrarum sterilitatem ; sedeat 
praeterea quotidie ad rationes tabulasque testamenti 
omnibus mensibus renovet. Et ne quid scaenae deesset, 
quotiescunque aliquem nostrum vocare temptasset, 
aiium pro alio vocaret, ut facile appareret dominum 
etiam eorum meminisse, qui praesentes non essent. 

His ita ordinatis, quod bene feliciterque eveniret" 
precati deos viam ingredimur. Sed neque Giton sub 
insolito fasce durabat, et mercennarius Corax, detrecta- 
tor ministerii, posita frequentius sarcina male dicebat 
properantibusaffirmabatque se aut proiecturumsarcinas 
aut cum onere fugiturum. Quid vos" inquit "iumen- 
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SATYRICON 

pledged our bodies and souls to our master most 
solemnly, like regular gladiators. When the oath was 
over, we posed like slaves and saluted our master, and 
learned all together that Eumolpus had lost a son, a 
young man of great eloquence and promise, and 
that the poor old man had left his own country for 
this reason, to escape seeing his son's dependants 
and friends, or the tomb which was the source of 
his daily tears. His grief had been increased by a 
recent shipwreck, in which he lost over two million 
sesterces : it was not the loss that troubled him, but 
with no servant to wait upon him he could not re- 
cognize his own importance. Besides, he had thirty 
millions invested in Africa in estates and bonds ; such 
a horde of his slaves was scattered over the fields of 
Numidia that he could positively have sacked Carthage. 
Under this scheme we ordered Eumolpus to cough 
frequently, sometimes to be bilious, and to find fault 
openly with ail his food ; he must talk of gold and 
silver and his disappointing farms anc^the obstinate 
barrenness of the soil; further, he must sit over his 
accounts daily, and revise the sheets of his will every 
month. To make the setting quite complete, he was to 
use the wrong names whenever he tried to call one 
of us, so that it would clearly look as though our 
master had also in his mind some servants who were 
not present. This was all arranged; we offered a 
prayer to Heaven for a prosperous and happy issue, 
and started on our journey. But Giton was not used 
to a burden and could not bear it, and the slave Corax, 
a shirker of work, kept putting down his bundle 
and cursing our hurry, and declaring that he would 
either throw the baggage away or run off with his 
load. You seem to think I am a beast of burden or 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
turn me putatis esse aut lapidariam ;navem? Ho- 
minis operas locavi, non caballL Nee minus liber sum 
quam vos, etiam si pauperem pater me reliquit" 
Nee contentus maledictis tollebat subinde altius 
pedem et strepitu obsceno simul atque odore viam 
implebat. Ridebat contumaciam Giton et singulos 
crepitus eius pari clamore prosequebatur . . . 
118L0| "Multos [inquit Eumolpos, o] iuvenes carmen 
decepit. Nam ut quisque versum pedibus instruxit 
sensumque teneriorem verborum ambitu intexuit, 
putavit se continuo in Heliconem venisse. Sic forensi- 
bus ministeriis exercitati frequenter ad carminis tran- 
quillitatem tanquam ad portum feliciorem * refugerunt, 
credentes facilius poema exstrui posse, quam contro- 
versiam sententiolis vibrantibus pictam. Ceterum 
neque generosior spiritus vanitatem 2 amat, neque con- 
cipere 8 aut edere partum mens potest nisi ingenti 
flumine litterarum inundata. Refugiendum est ab omni 
verborum, ut ita dicam, vilitate et sumendae voces a 
plebe semotae, 4 ut fiat 'odi profanum vulgus et arceo.' 
Praeterea curandum est, ne sententiae emineant extra 
corpus orationis expressae, sed intexto vestibus colore 
niteant. Homerus testis et lyrici Romanusque Ver- 
gilius et Horatii curiosa felicitas. Ceteri enim aut 
non viderunt viam, qua iretur ad carmen, aut visam 6 
timuerunt calcare. Ecce belli civilis ingens opus 

1 feliciorem cod. Messaniensis : faciliorem other MSS. 

2 vanitatem cod. Messaniensis : sanitatem other MSS. 
'concipere cod. Bemensis: conspicere L: conspici O. 
4 semotae Buecheler: summotae. 

•visam Faber: versum. 
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SATYRICON 

a ship for carrying stones," he cried. You paid for 
the services of a man, not a horse. I am just as free 
as you are, although my father did leave me a poor 
man." Not satisfied with curses, he kept lifting his leg 
up and filling the whole road with a disgusting noise 
and smell. Giton laughed at his impudence and 
matched every noise he made. . . . 

Yes, my young friends," said Eumolpus, poetry 118 
has led many astray. As soon as a man has shaped 
his verse in feet and woven into it a more delicate 
meaning with an ingenious circumlocution, he thinks 
that forthwith he has scaled Helicon. In this fashion 
people who are tired out with forensic oratory often 
take refuge in the calm of poetry as in some happier 
haven, supposing that a poem is easier to construct 
than a declamation adorned with quivering epigrams. 
But nobler souls do not love such coxcombry, and 
the mind cannot conceive or bring forth its fruit 
unless it is steeped in the vast flood of literature. 
One must flee away from all diction that is, so to 
speak, cheap, and choose words divorced from popular 
use, putting into practice, I hate the common herd 
and hold it afar." Besides, one must take care that 
the epigrams do not stand out from the body of the 
speech : they must shine with a brilliancy that is woven 
into the material. Homer proves this, and the lyric 
poets, and Roman Virgil, and the studied felicity 
of Horace. The others either did not see the path 
that leads to poetry, or saw it and were afraid to walk 
in it. For instance, anyone who attemps the vast 
theme of the Civil War will sink under the burden 

1 Horace, Odes iti, i. 

2 The tbeme of the Pharsalia of Lucan, against whom 
Eumolpus' s criticisms seem to be directed. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

quisquis attigerit, nisi plenus litteris, sub onere 
labetur. Non enim res gestae versibus comprehen- 
dendae sunt, quod longe melius historici faciunt, sed 
per ambages deorumque ministeria et fabulosum 
sententiarum tormentum praecipitandus est liber 
spiritus, ut potius furentis animi vaticinatio appareat 
quam religiosae orationis sub testibus fides : tanquam 
si placet hie impetus, etiam si nondum recepit ultimam 
manum" . . . 
119 "Orbem iam to turn victor Romanus habebat, 
qua mare, qua terrae, qua sidus currit utrumque. 
Nee satiatus erat. Gravidis freta pulsa carinis 
iam peragebautur ; si quis sinus abditus ultra, 
si qua foret tellus, quae fulvum mitteret aurum, 
hostis erat, fatisque in tristia beila paratis 
quaerebantur opes. Non vulgo nota placebant 
gaudia, non usu plebeio trita voluptas. 
Aes Ephyreiacum 1 laudabat miles in unda; 
quaesitus tellure nitor certaverat ostro; 10 

hinc Numidae accusant, 2 illinc nova vellera Seres, 
atque Arabum populus sua despoliaverat arva. 
Ecce aliae clades et laesae vulnera pacis. 
Quaeritur in silvis auro fera, et ultimus Hammon 
Afrorum excutitur, ne desit belua dente 
ad mortes pretiosa ; fames premit advena classes, 
tigris et aurata gradiens vectatur in aula, 
ut bibat humanum populo plaudente cruorem. 
Heu, pudet effari perituraque prodere fata, 
Persarum ritu male pubescentibus annis 20 

1 Aes Ephyreiacum Heinsius : aes epyrecum and the like 
most MSS. ; spolia Turn (cum Dr) Senius codd. Monacensis et 
Dresdensis. 

2 accusant L: accusatius O. 

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SATYRICON 

unless he is full of literature. It is not a question 
of recording real events in verse; historians can do 
that far better. The free spirit of genius must 
plunge headlong into allusions and divine interpositions, 
and rack itself for epigrams coloured by mythology, so 
that what results seems rather the prophecies of an 
inspired seer than the exactitude of a statement made 
on oath before witnesses : the following effusion will 
show what I mean, if it take your fancy, though it 
has not yet received my final touches. *. . . 

"The conquering Roman now held the whole world, IIP 
sea and land and the course of sun and moon. But 
he was not satisfied. Now the waters were stirred 
and troubled by his loaded ships ; if there were any 
hidden bay beyond, or any land that promised a yield 
of yellow gold, that place was Rome's enemy, fate 
stood ready for the sorrows of war, and the quest for 
wealth went on. There was no happiness in familiar joys, 
or in pleasures dulled by the common man's use. The 
soldier out at sea would praise the bronze of Corinth ; 
bright colours dug from earth rivalled the purple ; here 
the African curses Rome, here the Chinaman plunders 
his marvellous silks, and the Arabian hordes have 
stripped their own fields bare. 

' Yet again more destruction, and peace hurt and 
bleeding. The wild beast is searched out in the 
woods at a great price, and men trouble Hammon 
deep in Africa to supply the beast whose teeth make 
him precious for slaying men ; strange ravening crea- % 
tures freight the fleets, and the padding tiger is wheeled 
in a gilded palace to drink the blood of men while 
the crowd applauds. 

"l shrink from speaking plain and betraying our 
destiny of ruin ; boys whose childhood is hardly begun 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
surripuere viros exsectaque 'viscera ferro 
in venerem fregere, atquent fugg. nobilis aevi 
circumscripta mora properantes differat annos, 
quaerit se natura nee invenit. Omnibus ergo 
scorta placent fractique enervi corpore gressus 
et laxi crines et tot nova nomina vestis, 
quaeque virum quaerunt. Ecce Afris eruta terris 
citrea mensa greges servorum ostrumque renidens, 
ponitur ac maculis imitatur vilius 1 aurum 
quae sensum trahat. Hoc sterile ac male nobile lignum 
turba sepulta mero circum venit, omniaque orbis 31 
praemia corruptis 2 miles vagus esurit armis. 
Ingeniosa gula est. Siculo scarus aequore mersus 
ad mensam vivus perducitur, atque Lucrinis 
eruta iitoribus vendunt conchylia cenas, 
ut renovent per damna famem. lam Phasidos unda 
orbata est avibus, mutoque in litore tantum 
solae desertis adspirant frondibus aurae. 
Nee minor in campo furor est, emptique Quirites 
ad praedam strepitumque lucri suffragia vertunt 40 
Venalis populus, venalis curia patrum, 
est favor in pretio. Senibus quoque libera virtus 
exciderat, sparsisque opibus conversa potestas 
ipsaque maiestas auro corrupta iacebat. 
Pellitur a populo victus Cato ; tristior ille est, 

1 vilius Gronovtus: vilibus. For imitatur some MSS. give 
mutatur. 

2 corruptis Buecheler: correptis. 

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SATYRICON 

are kidnapped in the Persian way, and the powers the 
knife has shorn are forced to the service of lust, and 
in order that the passing of man's finest age may be 
hedged round with delay and hold back the hurrying 
years, Nature- seeks for herself, and finds herself not. 
So all take their pleasure in harlotry, and the halting 
steps of a feeble body, and in flowing hair and num- 
berless clothes of new names, everything that ensnares 
mankind. 

" Tables of citron-wood are dug out of the soil of 
Africa and set up, the spots on them resembling 
gold which is cheaper than they, their polish reflecting 
hordes of slaves and purple clothes, to lure the senses. 
Round this barren and low-born wood there gathers a 
crowd drowned in drink, and the soldier of fortune 
gorges the whole spoils of the world while his weapons 
rust. 

Gluttony is a fine art. The wrasse is brought alive 
to table in sea- water from Sicily, and the oysters torn 
from the banks of the Lucrine lake make a dinner 
famous, in order to renew men's hunger by their 
extravagance. All the birds are now gone from the 
waters of Phasis ; the shore is quiet ; only the empty 
air breathes on the lonely boughs. 

"The same madness is in public life, the true-born 
Roman is bought, and changes his vote for plunder 
and the cry of gain. The people are corrupt, the 
house of senators is corrupt, their support hangs on a 
price. The freedom and virtue of the old men had 
decayed, their power was swayed by largesse, even their 
dignity was stained by money and trodden in the dust. 

"Cato is beaten and driven out by the mob; his 
conqueror is more unhappy than he, and is ashamed 
to have torn the rods of office from Cato. For the 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
qui vicit, fascesque pudet rapuisse Catoni. 
Namque — hoc dedecoris populo morumque ruina — 
non homo pulsus erat, sed in uno victa potestas 
Romanumque decus. Quare tarn perdita Roma 
ipsa sui merces erat et sine vindice praeda. 50 

Praeterea gemino deprensam gurgite .plebem 1 
faenoris illuvies ususque exederat aeris. 
Nulla est certa domus, nullum sine pignore corpus, 
sed veluti tabes tacitis concepta medullis 
intra membra furens curis latrantibus errat. 
Anna placent miseris, detritaque commoda luxu 
vulneribus reparantur. Inops audacia tuta est. 
Hoc mersam caeno Romam somnoque iacentem 
quae poterant artes sana ratione movere, 
ni furor et bellum ferroque excita 2 libido? 60 

120 Tres tulerat Fortuna duces, quos obruit omnes 
armorum strue diversa feralis Enyo. 
Crassum Parthus habet, Libyco iacet aequore Magnus, 
Iulius ingratam perfudit sanguine Romam, 
et quasi non posset tot tellus ferre sepulcra, 
divisit cineres. Hos gloria reddit honores. 
Est locus exciso penitus demersus hiatu 
Parthenopen inter magnaeque Dicarchidos arva, 
Cocy ti perfusus aqua ; nam spiritus, extra 
qui furit effusus, funesto spargitur aestu. 70 

• Non haec autumno tellus viret aut alit herbas 

1 plebem Crusitis : praedam. 
* excita cod. Messaniensis : excisa. 
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SATYRICON 

shame of the nation and the fall of their character lay 
in this, that here was not only one man's defeat. In 
his person the power and glory of Rome was humbled. 
So Rome in her deep disgrace was herself both price 
and prize, and despoiled herself without an avenger. 
Moreover filthy usury and the handling of money had 
caught the common people in a double whirlpool, and 
destroyed them. Not a house is safe, not a man but 
is mortgaged; the madness spreads through their 
limbs, and trouble bays and hounds them down like 
some disease sown in the dumb flesh. In despair they 
turn to violence, and bloodshed restores the good things 
lost by luxury. A beggar can risk everything in 
safety. Could the spell of healthful reason stir Rome 
from the filth where she rolled in heavy sleep, or only 
madness and war and the lust wakened by the sword ? 

" Fortune brought forth three generals, and the god- 1 20 
dess of War and Death buried them all, each beneath 
a pile of arms. The Parthian has Crassus in keeping, 1 
Pompey the Great lies by the Libyan water, 2 Julius 
stained ungrateful Rome with his blood ; and as though 
the earth could not endure the burden of so many 
graves, she has separated their ashes. These are the 
wages paid by fame. 

Between Parthenope and the fields of the great 
town of Dicarchis there lies a spot 3 plunged deep in 
a cloven chasm, wet with the water of Cocytus: for 
the air that rushes furiously outward is laden with 

1 M. Licinius Crassus was defeated and killed by the 
Parlhians at Carrhae, 53 B.C. 

2 C. Pompeius Magnus was killed on the shore at Pelusium 
in Egypt after his defeat at Pharsalus, 48 B.C. 

8 The Phlegraean Plain, between Naples and Puteoli. The 
latter town is here called Dicarchis after its founder Dicae- 
archus. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER, 
caespite laetus ager, non verno persona cantu 
mollia discordi strepitu virgulta locuntur, 
sed chaos et nigro squalentia pumice saxa 
gaudent ferali circum tumulata cupressu. 
Has inter sedes Ditis pater extulit ora 
bustorum flammis et cana sparsa favilla, 
ac tali volucrem Fortunam voce lacessit : 
Rerum hnmanarum divinarumque potestas, 
Fors, cui nulla placet nimium secura potestas, 80 

quae nova semper amas et mox possessa relinquis, 
ecquid Romano sentis te pondere victam, 
nee posse ulterius perituram extollere molem? 
Ipsa suas vires odit Romana iuventus 
et quas struxit opes, male sustinet. Aspice late 
luxuriam spoliorum et censum in damna furentem. 
Aedificant auro sedesque ad sidera mittunt, 
expelluntur aquae saxis, mare nascitur arvis, 
et permutata rerum statione rebellant. 
En etiam mea regna petunt. Perfossa dehiscit 90 
moiibus insanis tellus, iam montibus haustis 
antra gemunt, et dum vanos 1 lapis invenit usus, 
inferni manes caelum sperare fatentur. 
Quare age, Fors, muta pacatum in proelia vultum 
Romanosque cie ac nostris da funera regnis. 
Iam pridem nuilo perfundimus ora cruore, 
nee mea Tisiphone sitientis perluit artus, 

1 vanos Delbenius: vanus O: varios L. 
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SATYRICON 

that baleful spray. The ground here is never green 
in autumn, the field does not prosper or nurture her- 
bage on its turf, the soft thickets never ring nor are 
loud in springtime with the songs of rival birds, but 
chaos is there, and gloomy rocks of black pumice-stone 
lie happy in the gloom of the cypresses that mound 
them about. From this place the father of Dis 
lifted his head, lit with funeral flames and flecked 
with white ashes, and provoked winged Fortune with 
these words: 

ui Disposer of life in earth and heaven, Chance, al- 
ways angry against power too firmly seated, everlasting 
lover of change and quick forsaker of thy conquests, 
dost not thou feel thy spirit crushed under the weight 
of Rome, and that thou canst not further raise up the 
mass that is doomed to fall? The youth of Rome 
contemns its own strength, and groans under the 
wealth its own hands have heaped up. See, every- 
where they squander their spoils, and the mad use 
of wealth brings their destruction. They have 
buildings of gold and thrones raised to the stars, 
they drive out the waters with their piers, the sea 
springs forth amid the fields: rebellious man turns 
creation's order upside down. Aye, they grasp even 
at my kingdom. The earth is hewn through for 
their madmen's foundations and gapes wide, now the 
mountains are hollowed out until the caves groan, 
and while men turn precious stones to their empty 
purposes, the ghosts of hell declare their hopes of 
winning heaven. Arise, then, Chance, change thy 
looks of peace to war, harry the Roman, and let my 
kingdom have the dead. It is long now since my 
lips were wet with blood, and never has my loved 
Tisiphone bathed her thirsty limbs since the sword 
s2 " 259 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
ex quo Sullanus bibit ensis et horrida tellus 
extulit in lucem nutritas sanguine fruges.' 
121 Haec ubi dicta dedit, dextrae coniungere dextram 
conatus rupto tellurem solvit hiatu. 101 

Tunc Fortuna levi defudit pectore voces : 
'O genitor, cui Cocyti penetralia parent, 
si modo vera mihi fas est impune profari, 
vota tibi cedent ; nee enim minor ira rebellat 
pectore in hoc leviorque exurit flamma medullas. 
Omnia, quae tribui Romanis arcibus, odi 
muneribusque meis irascor. Destruet istas 
idem, qui posuit, moles deus. Et mihi cordi 
quippe cremare viros et sanguine pascere luxum. 110 
Cerno equidem gemina iam stratos morte Philippos 
Thessaliaeque rogos et funera gentis Hiberae. 
Iam fragor armorum trepidantes personat aures. 
Et Libyae cerno tua, Nile, gementia claustra 
Actiacosque sinus et Apollinis arma timentes. 
Pande, age, terrarum sitientia regna tuarum 
atque animas accerse novas. Vix navita Porthmeus 
sufficiet simulacra virum traducere cumba ; 
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SATYRICON 

of Sulla ' drank deep, and the earth stood thick with / 
corn fattened on blood and thrust up to the sun/ 

He spoke and ended, and strained to take her hand 121 
in his, till he broke and clove the earth asunder. Then 
Fortune poured forth words from her fickle heart: 
Father, whom the inmost places of Cocytus obey, 
thy prayer shall prosper, if at least I may foretell the 
truth without fear; for the anger that rises in my 
heart is stern as thine, and the flame that burns deep 
in my bones as fierce. I hate all the gifts I have made 
to towering Rome, and am angry at my own blessings. 
The god that raised up those high palaces shall destroy 
them too. It will be my delight also to burn the men 
and feed my lust with blood. Lo, already I see 
Philippi's field strewn with the dead of two battles, 3 
and the blazing pyres of Thessaly 8 and the burial of 
the people of Iberia. 4 Already the crash of arms rings 
in my trembling ears. And in Libya I see the barriers 
of the Nile 5 groan, and the people in terror at the gulf 
of Actium and the army loved by Apollo. 6 Open, then, 
the thirsty realms of thy dominion, and summon fresh 
souls. The old sailor, the Ferryman, will scarcely have 
strength to carry over the ghosts of the men in his 

1 The massacre of the supporters of Marius in 82 B.C., 
Suila being Dictator. 

8 In the battles of Pharsalus, 48 b.c, the final defeat of 
Pompey, and Philippi, 42 B.C., the defeat of the Republican 
army under Brutus and Cassius. # 

8 Again referring to Pharsalus, which is in Thessaly. 

4 Killed in Caesar's Spanish campaigns against the Poni- 
peians, 49 and 45 b.c. 

5 The reference is to Caesar's Egyptian campaigns. 
•The Emperor Augustus ascribed his victory over Antony 

and Cleopatra at Actium in 31 B.C. to the favour of Apollo. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

classe opus est. Tuque ingenti satiare ruina, 
pallida Tisiphone, concisaque vulnera mande: 120 
ad Stygios manes laceratus ducitur orbis.' 
122 Vixdum finierat, cum fulgure rupta corusco 
intremuit nubes elisosque abscidit ignes. 
Subsedit pater umbrarum, gremioque reducto 
telluris pa vi tans fraternos palluit ictus. 
Continuo clades hominum venturaque damna 
auspiciis patuere deum. Namque ore cruento 
deformis Titan 1 vultum caligine texit : 
civiles acies iam turn spectare 2 putares. 
Parte alia plenos exstinxit Cynthia vultus 130 

et lucem sceleri subduxit Rupta tonabant 
verticibus lapsis montis iuga, nee vaga passim * 
flumina per notas ibant morientia ripas. 
Armorum strepitu caelum furit et tuba Martem 
sideribus tremefacta ciet, iamque Aetna voratur 
ignibus insolitis et in aethera fulmina mittit. 
Ecce inter tumulos atque ossa carentia bustis 
umbrarum facies diro stridore minantur. 
Fax stellis comitata novis incendia ducit, 
sanguineoque recens descendit Iuppiter imbre. 1 40 
Haec ostenta brevi solvit deus. Exuit omnes 
quippe moras Caesar, vindictaeque actus amore 
Gallica proiecit, civilia sustulit arma. 

Alpibus aeriis, ubi Graio numine 3 pulsae 
descendunt rupes et se patiuntur adiri, 

1 Titan Delbenius : titubans. 

2 spectare Crusius : spirare (spitare Bernensis). 
8 numine Reiske : nomine. 

262 



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SATYRICON 

boat ; a whole fleet is needed. And thou, pale Tisi- 
phone, take thy fill of wide destruction, and tear the 
bleeding wounds; the whole world is rent in pieces 
and drawn down to the Stygian shades.' 

She had scarcely ceased to speak when a cloud 1 22 
shook and was riven by a gleam of lightning, and flashed 
forth a moment's burst of flame. The father of dark- 
ness sank down, closed the chasm in earth's bosom, 
and grew white with terror at the stroke of his brother. 
Straightway the ^slaughter of men and the destruction 
to come were made plain by omens from on high. For 
Titan was disfigured and dabbled in blood, and veiled 
his face in darkness: thou hadst thought that even 
then he gazed on civil strife. In another quarter 
Cynthia darkened her full face, and denied her light 
to the crime. The mountain-tops slid down and 
the peaks broke in thunder, the wandering streams 
were dying, and no more ranged abroad between their 
familiar banks. The sky is loud with the clash of 
arms, the trumpet shakes to the stars and rouses the 
War God, and at once Aetna is the prey of unac- 
customed fires, and casts her lightnings high into the 
air. The faces of the dead are seen visible among 
the tombs and the unburied bones, gibbering in 
dreadful menace. A blazing light girt with unknown 
stars leads the way for the flames of cities, and 
the sky* rains down fresh showers of blood. In a 
little while God made these portents plain. For now 
Caesar shook off all his lingering, and, spurred by the 
passion of revenge, threw down his arms against Gaul 
"and took them up against Rome. 

"in the high Alps, where the rocks trodden by a 
Greek god 1 slope downward and allow men to ap- 
1 Hercules was said to have been the first to cross the Alps. 

263 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

est locus Herculeis aris sacer : hunc nive dura 
claudit hiemps canoque ad sidera vertice tollit. 
caelum Mine cecidisse putes: non solis adulti 1 
mansuescit radiis, non verni temporis aura, 
sed glacie concreta rigent hiemisque pruinis : 1 50 

totum ferre potest umeris minitantibus orbem. 
Haec ubi calcavit Caesar iuga milite laeto 
optavitque 2 locum, summo de vertice montis 
Hesperiae campos late prospexit et ambas 
intentans cum voce manus ad sidera dixit : 
' Iuppiter omnipotens, etrte, 3 Saturnia tellus, 
armis laeta meis olimque onerata triumphis, 
testor, ad has acies invitum accersere Martem, 
LO invitas me ferre manus. Sed vulnere cogor, 

pulsus ab urbe mea, dum Rhenum sanguine tinguo, 

dum Gallos iterum Capitolia nostra petentes 1 6 1 

Alpibus excludo, vincendo certior exsul. 

Sanguine Germano sexagintaque triumphis 

esse nocens coepi. Quanquam quos gloria terret, 

aut qui sunt qui bella vident? Mercedibus emptae 

ac viles operae, quorum est mea Roma noverca. 

At 4 reor, baud impune, nee banc sine vindice dextram 

vinciet ignavus. Victores ite furentes, 

ite mei comites, et causam dicite ferro. 

Namque omnes unum crimen vocat, omnibus una 170 

impendet, clades. Reddenda est gratia vobis, 

non solus vici. Quare, quia poena tropaeis 

imminet et sordes meruit victoria nostra, 

1 adulti cod. Messaniensis : adust i other MSS. 
2 optavit margin of L: oravit. 
8 te Buecheler: tu L: eu O, 
4 at Heinsius.: ut. 

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SATYRICON 

proach them, there is a place sacred to the altars of 
Hercules : the winter seals it with frozen snow, and 
heaves it up on its white top to the sky. It seems as 
though the sky had fallen away from there : the beams 
of the full sun do not soften the place, nor the breezes 
of the springtime, but the soil stands stiff with ice and 
winters frost: its frowning shoulders could support 
the whole globe. When Caesar with his exultant 
army trod these heights and chose a place, he looked 
far over the fields of Hesperia from the high mountain- 
top, and lifted his voice and both hands to the stars 
and said : ' Jupiter, Lord of all, and thou land of 
Saturn, once proud of my victories and loaded with my 
triumphs, I call you to witness that I do not willingly 
summon the War God to these hosts, and that my hand 
is not raised willingly to strike. But I am driven on by 
wounds, by banishment from my own city, while I dye 
the Rhine with blood and cut off the Gauls from the 
Alps on their second march to our Capitol. 1 Victory 
makes my exile doubly sure. My rout of the Germans 
and my sixty triumphs were the beginning of my 
offences. Yet who is it that fears my fame, who are 
the men that watch me fight? Base hirelings bought 
at a price, to whom my native Rome is a stepmother. 
But I think that no coward shall bind my strong 
arm unhurt without a blow in return. Come, men, to 
victory while anger is hot, come, my comrades, and 
plead our cause with the sword. For we are all 
summoned under one charge, and the same doom 
hangs over us all. My thanks are your due, my 
victory is not mine alone. Wherefore, since punish- 
ment threatens our trophies, and disgrace is the meed 

1 The traditional date for the sack of Rome by the Gauls 
is 390 B.C. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

iudice Fortuna cadat alea. Sumite bellum 

et temptate manus. Certe mea causa peracta est : 

inter tot fortes armatus nescio vinci.' 

Haec ubi personuit, de caelo Delphicus ales 
omina laeta dedit pepulitque meatibus auras. 
Nee non horrendi nemoris de parte sinistra 
insolitae voces flamma sonuere sequenti. 180 

Ipse nitor Phoebi vulgato laetior orbe 
crevit et aurato praecinxit fulgure vultus. 
123 Fortior ominibus movit Mavortia sign a 

Caesar et insolitos gressu prior occupat ausus. 
Prima quidem glacies et cana vincta pruina 
non pugnavit humus mitique horrore quievit. 
Sed postquam turmae nimbos fregere ligatos 
et pavidus quadrupes undarum vincula rupit, 
incaluere nives. Mox flumina montibus altis 
undabant modo nata, sed haec quoque — iussa 

putares — 190 

stabant, et vincta fluctus stupuere ruina, 1 
et paulo ante lues iam concidenda iacebat. 
Turn vero male fida prius vestigia lusit 
decepitque pedes ; pariter turmaeque virique 
armaque congesta strue deplorata iacebant. 
Ecce etiam rigido concussae flamine nubes 
exonerabantur, nee rupti turbine venti 
derant aut tumida confractum grandine caelum. 
LO Ipsae iam nubes ruptae super arma cadebant, 

et concreta gelu ponti velut unda ruebat. 200 

Victa erat ingenti tellus nive victaque caeli 
sidera, victa suis haerentia flumina ripis ; 
nondum Caesar erat, sed magnam nixus in hastam 
1 ruina Reiske : pruina. 
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SATYRICON 

of conquest, let Chance decide how our lot shall fall. 
Raise the standard and prove your strength. My plead- 
ing at least is accomplished ; armed amid so many war- 
riors I cannot know defeat/ As he spoke these words 
aloud, the Delphic bird * in the sky gave a happy omen, 
and beat the air as it flew. And from the left quarter 
of a gloomy grove strange voices sounded and fire flashed 
thereafter. Even Phoebus glowed with orb brighter than 
his wont, and set a burning halo of gold about his face. 
( Heartened by these omens, Caesar advanced the 
standards of war, and marched first to open this 
strange tale of daring. At first indeed the ice and 
the ground fettered with white frost did not fight 
against them, and lay quiet in the kindly cold. But 
then the regiments broke the close-bound clouds, the 
trembling horses shattered the frozen bonds of the 
waters, and the snows melted. Soon new-born rivers 
rolled from the mountain heights, but they, too, stood 
still as if by some command, and the waves stopped 
short with ruining floods enchained, and the water 
that ran a moment before now halted, hard enough to 
cut. But then, treacherous before, it mocked their 
steps and failed their footing; horses and men and 
arms together fell heaped in misery and ruin. Lo ! too, 
the clouds were shaken by a strong wind, and let fall 
their burden, and round the army were gusts of whirl- 
wind and a sky broken by swollen hail. Now the 
clouds themselves burst and fell on the armed men, 
and a mass of ice showered upon them like a wave of 
the sea. Earth was overwhelmed in the deep snow, 
and the stars of heaven, and the rivers that clung to 
their banks. But Caesar was not yet overwhelmed ; he 

1 The raven, consecrated to Apollo on account of its gift of 
prophecy. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

horrida securis frangebat gressibus arva, 
qualis Caucasea decurrens arduus arce 
Amphitryoniades, aut torvo Iuppiter ore, 
cum se verticibus magni demisit Olympi 
et periturorum disiecit * tela Gigantum. 

Dum Caesar tumidas iratus deprimit arces, 
interea volucer motis conterrita pinnis 210 

Fama volat summique petit iuga celsa Palati 
atque hoc Romano tonitru ferit omnia signa : 
iam classes fluitare mari totasque per Alpes 
fervere Germano perfusas sanguine turmas. 
Arma, cruor, caedes, incendia totaque bella 
ante oculos volitant. Ergo pulsata tumultu 
pectora perque duas scinduntur territa causas. 
Huic fuga per terras, illi magis unda probatur 
et patria pontus iam tutior. Est magis arma 
qui temptare velit fatisque iubentibus uti. 220 

Quantum quisque timet, tantum fugit. Ocior ipse 
hos inter motus populus, miserabile visu, 
quo mens icta iubet, deserta ducitur urbe. 
Gaudet Roma fuga, debellatique Quirites 
rumoris sonitu maerentia tecta relinquunt. 
Ille manu pavida natos tenet, ille penates 
occultat gremio deploratumque relinquit 
limen et absentem votis interficit hostem. 
Sunt qui coniugibus maerentia pectora iungant, 
grandaevosque patres onerisque ignara iuventus 230 
id pro quo metuit, tantum trahit. Omnia secum 
hie vehit imprudens praedamque in proelia ducit: 
1 disiecit Gulielmus: deiecit. 
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SATYRICON 

leaned on his tall spear and crushed the rough ground 
with fearless tread, like the son of Amphitryon 1 hasten- 
ing down from a high peak of Caucasus, or the fierce 
countenance of Jupiter, when he descended from the 
heights of great Olympus <and scattered the arms of 
the doomed Giants. 

" While Caesar treads down the swelling peaks in his 
wrath, Rumour flies swift in terror with heating wings, 
and seeks out the lofty top of the tall Palatine. Then 
she strikes all the images of the gods with her message 
of Roman thunder : how ships are now sweeping the 
sea, and the horsemen red with German blood pouring 
hotly over the range of the Alps. Battle, blood, 
slaughter, fire, and the whole picture of war flits 
before their eyes. Their hearts shake in confusion, 
and are fearfully divided between two counsels. 
One man chooses flight by land, another trusts rather 
to the water, and the open sea now safer than his 
own country. Some prefer to attempt a fight and 
turn Fate's decree to account. As deep as a man's 
fear is, so far he flies. In the turmoil the people 
themselves, a woeful sight, are led swiftly out of 
the deserted city, whither their stricken heart drives 
them. Rome is glad to flee, her true sons are 
cowed by war, and at a rumour's breath leave their 
houses to mourn. One holds his children with a 
shaking hand, one hides his household gods in his 
bosom, and weeping, leaves his door and calls down 
death on the unseen enemy. Some clasp their wives 
to them in tears, youths carry their aged sires, and, 
unused to burdens, take with them only what they 
dread to lose. The fool drags all his goods after him, 
and marches laden with booty to the battle: and 
1 Hercules : he came down to rescue Prometheus. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

ac velut ex alto cum magnus inhorruit auster 

et pulsas evertit aquas, non arma ministris, 

non regimen prodest, ligat alter pondera pinus, 

alter tuta sinus tranquillaque litora quaerit : 

hie dat vela fugae Fortunaeque omnia credit. 

Quid tarn parva queror ? Gemino cum consule Magnus, 

ille tremor Ponti saevique repertor Hydaspis 

et piratarum scopulus, modo quem ter ovantem 240 

Iuppiter horruerat, quem fracto gurgite Pontus 

et veneratus erat submissa Bosporos unda, 

pro pudor, imperii deserto nomine fugit, 

ut Fortuna levis Magni quoque terga videret. 

1 24 Ergo tanta lues divum quoque numina vicit, 1 

consensitque fugae caeli timor. Ecce per orbem 

mitis turba deum terras exosa furentes 

deserit atque hominum damnatum avertitur agmen. 

Pax prima ante alias niveos pulsata lacertos 

abscondit galea victum caput atque relicto 250 

orbe fugax Ditis petit inplacabile regnum. 

Huic comes it submissa Fides et crine soluto 

Iustitia ac maerens lacera Concordia palla. 

At contra, sedes Erebi qua rupta dehiscit, 

1 vicit Hermann : vidit 
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SATYRICON 

all now is as when on high the rush of a strong south 
wind tumbles and drives the waters, and neither 
rigging nor helm avail the crews, and one girds 
together the heavy planks of pine, another heads for 
quiet inlets and a waveless shore : a third sets sail and 
flees, and trusts all to Chance. But why sorrow for 
these petty ills ? Pompey the Great, who made Pontus 
tremble and explored fierce Hydaspes, 1 the rock that 
broke the pirates, 2 who of late, in his third triumph, 
shook the heart of Jupiter, to whom the troubled 
waters of Pontus and the conquered Sea of Bosporus 3 
bowed, flees shamefully with the two consuls 4 and 
lets his imperial title drop, that fickle Chance might 
see the back of great Pompey himself turned in flight. 

So great a calamity broke the power of the gods 1 24 
also, andxiread in heaven swelled the rout. A host 
of gentle deities throughout the world abandon the 
frenzied earth in loathing, and turn aside from the 
doomed army of mankind. 

" Peace first of all, with her snow-white arms bruised, 
hides her vanquished head beneath her helmet, and 
leaves the world and turns in flight to the inexorable 
realm of Dis. At her side goes humble Faith and 
Justice with loosened hair, and Concord weeping with 
her cloak rent in pieces. But where the hall of Erebus 
is open and gapes wide, the dreadful company of Dis 

1 Untrue, for he went no further than the Euphrates : the 
river Hydaspes is in India. 

2 He cleared the Mediterranean of Ciiician pirates in forty 
days during the year 67 B.C. 

* He passed over these waters in 66 B.C. in the course of 
his campaign against Mithridates. 

4 C. Claudius Marcellus and L. Cornelius Lentulus Crus, 
consuls, 49 B.C. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

emergit late Ditis chorus, horrida Erinys 

et Bellona minax facibusque armata Megaera 

Letumque Insidiaeque et lurida Mortis imago. 

Quas inter Furor, abruptis ceu liber habenis, 

sanguineum late tollit caput oraque mille 

vulneribus confossa cruenta casside velat ; 260 

haeret detritus laevae Mavortius umbo 

innumerabilibus telis gravis, atque flagranti 

stipite dextra minax terris incendia portat. 

Sentit terra deos mutataque sidera pondus 

quaesivere suum ; namque omnis regia caeli 

in partes diducta ruit. Primumque Dione 

Caesaris acta sui ducit, comes additur illi 

Pallas et ingentem quatiens Mavortius hastam. 

Magnum 1 cum Phoebo soror et Cyllenia proles 

excipit ac totis similis Tirynthius actis. 270 

Intremuere tubae ac scisso Discordia crine 

extulit ad superos Stygium caput. Huius in ore 

concretus sanguis, contusaque lumina flebant, 

stabant aerati* scabra rubigine dentes, 

tabo lingua fluens, obsessa draconibus ora, 

atque inter torto laceratam pectore vestem 

LO sanguineam tremula quatiebat lampada dextra. 

Haec ut Cocyti tenebras et Tartara liquit, 

alta petit gradiens iuga nobilis Appennini, 

1 Magnum cod, Messaniensis : Magtiaque other MSS, 
2 aerati L: irati O. 

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SATYRICON 

ranges forth, the grim Fury, and threatening Bellona, 
Megaera whirling her torches, and Destruction, and 
Treachery, and the pale presence of Death. And 
among them Madness, like a steed loosed when the 
reins snap, flings up her bloody head and shields her 
face, scarred by a thousand wounds, with a blood- 
stained helm; her left hand grips her worn martial 
shield, heavy with countless spear-points, her right 
waves a blazing brand and carries fire through the 
world. 

Earth felt that the gods were there, the stars were 
shaken, and swung seeking their former poise ; for the 
whole palace of the sky broke and tumbled to ruin. 
And first Dione 1 champions the deeds of Caesar, and 
Pallas joins fyer side, and the child of Mars, 2 who bran- 
dishes his tall spear. "The sister 3 of Phoebus and the 
son of Cyllene 4 and the hero of Tiryns, 6 like to him 
in all his deeds, receive Pompey the Great. 

The trumpets shook, and Discord with dishevelled 
hair raised her Stygian head to the upper sky. Blood 
had dried on her face, tears ran from her bruised eyes, 
her teeth were mailed with a scurf of rust, her tongue 
was dripping with foulness and her face beset with 
snakes, her clothes were torn before her writhen breasts, 
and she waved a red torch in her quivering hand. 
When she had left behind the darkness of Cocytus 
and Tartarus, she strode forward to the high ridges of 

1 Venus, though properly Dione is the mother of Venus. 
Caesar by convention was descended from her through 
lulus and Aeneas. 

2 Romulus, as son of Mars. 

3 Diana. 

4 Mercury, son of Maia and Zeus, born on Mount Cyllene. 
8 Hercules, who lived at Tiryns while he served Eurystheus. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
unde omnes terras atque omnia litora posset 280 

aspicere ac toto fluitantes orbe catervas, 
atque has erumpit furibundo pectore voces : 
Sumite nunc gentes accensis mentibus anna, 
sumite et in medias immittite lampadas urbes. 
Vincetur, quicunque latet; non femina cesset, 
non puer aut aevo iam desolata senectus ; 
ipsa tremat tellus lacerataque tecta rebellent. 
Tu legem, Marcelle, tene. Tu concute plebem, 
Curio. Tu fortem ne supprime, Lentule,*Martem. 
Quid porro tu, dive, tuis cunctaris in armis, 290 

non frangis portas, non muris oppida solvis 
thesaurosque rapis ? Nescis tu, Magne, tueri 
Romanas arces? Epidamni moenia quaere 
Thessalicosque sinus humano sanguine tingue.' 
Factum est in terris, quicquid Discordia iussit." 
Cum haec Eumolpos ingenti volubilitate verborum 
effudisset, tandem Crotona intravimus. Ubi quidem 
parvo deversorio refecti, postero die amplioris fortunae 
domum quaerentes incidimus in turbam heredipetarum 
sciscitantium, quod genus hominum aut unde venire- 
mus. Ex praescripto ergo consilii communis exaggerate 
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SATYRICON 

proud Apennine, to gaze down thence upon all the 
earth and all its shores, and the armies streaming 
over the whole globe ; then these words were wrung 
from her angry soul: To arms now, ye peoples, 
while your spirit is hot, to arms, and set your 
torches to the heart of cities. He that would hide 
him shall be lost: let no women halt, nor children, 
nor the old who are now wasted with age; let the 
earth herself quake, and the shattered houses join the 
fight. Thou Marcellus, 1 hold fast the law. Thou, 
Curio, 2 make the rabble quail. Thou, Lentulus, 1 give 
brave Mars no check. And thou, divine Caesar, why 
art thou a laggard with thine arms ? Crash down the 
gates, strip towns of their walls and seize their treasure. 
So Magnus knows not how to hold the hills of Rome ? 
Let him take the bulwarks of Epidamnus 3 and dye the 
bays of Thessaly 4 with the blood of men/ Then all 
the commands of Discord were fulfilled upon the 
earth." 

Eumolpus poured out these lines with immense 
fluency, and at last we came into Croton. There we 
refreshed ourselves in a little inn, but on the next day 
we went to look for a house of greater pretensions, 
and fell in with a crowd of fortune-hunters, who in- 
quired what kind of men we were, and where we had 
come from. Then, as arranged by our common council, 

1 See note on c. 123. The law was the Senatus consultum 
of 49 B.C. ordering Caesar to give up his army. 

2 C. Scribonius Curio, a supporter of Caesar, who was 
defeated and killed by Juba in Africa, 49 B.C. 

8 Dyrrhachium in Epirus, where Pompey entrenched him- 
self on the outbreak of war. 

4 Cf. note on c. 121. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

verborum volubilitate, unde aut qui essemus, haud 
L dubie credentibus indicavimus. | Qui statim opes suas 
summo cum certamine in Eumolpum congesserunt. 

Certatim omnes heredipetae muneribus gratiam 
Eumolpi sollicitant . . . 

125 dum haec magno tempore Crotone aguntur . . . 

et Eumolpus felicitate plenus prions fortunae esset 
oblitus statim adeo, ut suis iactaret, neminem gratiae 
suae ibi posse resistere impuneque suos, si quid deli- 
quissent in ea urbe, beneficio amicorum laturos. 
Ceterum ego, etsi quotidie magis magisque super- 
fluentibus bonis saginatum corpus impleveram puta- 
bamque a custodia mei removisse vultum Fortunam, 
tamen saepius tarn consuetudinem meam cogitabam 
quam causam, et quid" aiebam 'si callidus captator 
exploratorem in Africam miserit mendaciumque de- 
prehenderit nostrum? Quid, si etiam mercennarius 
[Eumolpi] praesenti felicitate lassus indicium ad ami- 
cos detulerit totamque fallaciam invidiosa proditione 
detexerit? Nempe rursus fugiendum erit et tandem 
expugnata paupertas nova mendicitate revocanda. 
Dii deaeque, quam male est extra legem viventibus: 
quicquid meruerunt, semper exspectant." . . . 

1 26 Quia nosti venerem tuam, superbiam captas vendis- 
que amplexus/ non commodas. Quo enim spectant 
flexae pectine comae, quo facies medicamine attrita 
et oculorum quoque mollis petulantia, quo incessus 
arte 1 compositus et ne vestigia quidem pedum extra 
mensuram aberrantia, nisi quod formam prostituis, ut 

1 arte Dousa : tute. 

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SATYRICON . 

a torrent of ready words burst from us, and they gave 
easy credence to our account of ourselves and our 
country. They at once quarrelled fiercely in their 
eagerness to heap their own riches on Eumolpus. 

The fortune-hunters all competed to win Eumol- 
pus's favour with presents. . . . 

This went on for a long while in Croton, .... 125 
Eumolpus was flushed with success, and so far forgot 
the former state of his fortunes as to boast to his inti- 
mates that no one there could cross his good pleasure, 
and that his own dependants would escape unpunished 
by the kindness of his friends if they committed any 
crime in that city. But though I had lined my belly 
well every day with the ever-growing supply of good 
things, and believed that Fortune had turned away her 
face from keeping a watch on me, still I often thought 
over my old life and my history, and kept saying to 
myself, " Supposing some cunning legacy-hunter sends 
a spy over to Africa and finds out our lies ? Or suppos- 
ing the servant grows weary of his present luck and 
gives his friends a hint, or betrays us out of spite, and 
exposes the whole plot ? Of course we shall have to 
run away again ; we must start afresh as beggars, and 
call back the poverty we have now at last driven 
out. Ah! gods and goddesses! the outlaw has a 
hard life; he is always waiting to get what he 
deserves." ... 

" Because you know your beauty you are haughty, 126 
and do not bestow your embraces, but sell them. 
What is the object of your nicely combed hair, your 
face plastered with dyes, and the soft fondness even 
in your glance, and your walk arranged by art so that 
never a footstep strays from its place? It means of 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
vendas ? Vides me : nee auguria novi nee mathemati- 
corum caelum curare soleo, ex vultibus tamen hominum 
mores colligo, et cum spatiantem vidi, quid cogitet 1 
scio. Sive ergo nobis vendis quod peto, mercator para- 
tus est, sive quod humanius est, commodas, effice ut 
beneficiumdebeamus. Nam quod servum te et humilem 
fateris, accendis desiderium aestuantis. Quaedam enim 
feminae sordibus calent, nee libidinem concitant, nisi 
aut servos viderint aut statores altius cinctos. Harena 
alias accendit aut perfusus pulvere mulio aut histrio 
scaenae ostentatione traductus. Ex hac nota domina 
est mea : usque ab orchestra quattuordecim transilit 
et in extrema plebe quaerit quod diligat." 

Itaque oratione blandissima plenus rogo " inquam 
" numquid ilia, quae me amat, tu es ? " Multum risit 
an cilia post tam frigidum schema et nolo" inquit 
' tibi tam valde placeas. Ego adhuc servo nunquam 
succubui, nee hoc dii sinant, ut amplexus meos in 
crucem mittam. Viderint matronae, quae flagellorum 
vestigia osculantur ; ego etiam si ancilla sum, nunquam 
tamen nisi in equestribus sedeo." Mirari equidem 
tam discordem libidinem coepi atque inter monstra 
numerare, quod ancilla haberet matronae superbiam 
et matrona ancillae humilitatem. 
LO | Procedentibus deinde longius iocis rogavi ancillam, 
ut in platanona perduceret dominam. Placuit puellae 
consilium. Itaque collegit altius tunicam flexitque se 

1 cogitet Burmann ; cogites. 
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SATYRICON 

course that you offer your comeliness freely for sale. 
Look at me ; I know nothing of omens, and I never 
attend to the astrologer's sky, but I read character 
in a man's face, and when I see him walk I know his 
thoughts. So if you will sell us what I want, there 
is a buyer ready: if you will be more gracious and 
bestow it upon us, let us be indebted to you for a 
favour. For when you admit that you are a slave of 
low degree, you fan the passion of a lady who burns 
for you. Some women kindle for vile fellows, and 
cannot rouse any desire unless they have a slave 
or a servant in short garments in their eye. Some 
burn for a gladiator, or a muleteer smothered in dust, 
or an actor disgraced by exhibiting himself on the 
stage. My mistress is of this class ; she skips fourteen 
rows away from the orchestra, and hunts for a lover 
among the low people at the back." 

With my ears full of her winning words I then said, 
It is not you,. I suppose, who love me so?" The 
girl laughed loudly at such a clumsy turn of speech, 
and said, Pray do not be so conceited. I never 
yielded to a slave yet, and God forbid that I should 
throw my arms round a gallows-bird. The married 
women may see to that, and kiss the scars of a flog- 
ging; I may be only a lady's maid, for all that 
I never sit down in any seats but the knights'." I 
began to marvel at their contrary passions, and to 
count them as portents, the maid having the pride of 
a married lady, and the married lady the low tastes of 
a wench. 

Then as our jokes proceeded further, I asked the 
maid to bring her mistress into the grove of plane- 
trees. The plan pleased the girl. So she gathered 
her skirts up higher^ and turned into the laurel grove 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

in eum daphnona, qui ambulationi haerebat. Nee diu 
morata dominam producit e latebris laterique meo 
applicat, mulierem omnibus simulacris emendatiorem. 
Nulla vox est quae forniam eius possit comprehendere, 
nam quicquid dixero, minus erit. Crines ingenio suo 
flexi per totos se umeros effuderant, frons minima et 
quae radices capillorum retro flexerat, supercilia usque 
ad malarum scripturam currentia et rursus confinio 
luminum paene permixta, oculi clariores stellis extra 
lunam fulgentibus, nares paululum inflexae et osculum 
quale Praxiteles habere Dianam credidit. lam men- 
turn, iam cervix, iam manus, iam pedum candor intra 
auri gracile vinculum positus : Parium marmor exstin- 
xerat. Itaque tunc primum Dorida vetus amator con- 
tempsi . . . 

Quid factum est, quod tu proiectis, Iuppiter, armis 

inter caelicolas fabula muta taces? 
Nunc erat a torva submittere cornua fronte, 

nunc pluma canos dissimulare tuos. 
Haec vera est Danae. Tempta modo tangere corpus, 

iam tua flammifero membra calore fluent . . . 
1 27 Delectata ilia risit tarn blandum, ut videretur mihi 
plenum os extra nubem luna proferre. Mox digitis 
gubernantibus vocem "Si non fastidis" inquit "femi- 

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SATYRICON 

which grew close to our path. She was not long 
away before she led the lady out of her hiding- 
place, and brought her to my side. The woman was 
more perfect than any artist's dream. There are 
no words that can include all her beauty, and what- 
ever I write must fall short of her. Her hair grew 
in natural waves and flowed all over her shoulders, 
her forehead was small, and the roots of her hair 
brushed back from it, her brows ran to the edge of 
her cheekbones and almost met again close beside her 
eyes, and those eyes were brighter than stars far from 
the moon, and her nose had a little curve, and her 
mouth was the kind that Praxiteles * dreamed Diana 
had. And her chin and her neck, and her hands, 
and the gleam of her foot under a light band of gold ! 
She had turned the marble of Paros dull. So then at 
last I put my old passion for Doris to despite. . . . 

What is come to pass, Jupiter, 2 that thou hast 
cast away thine armour, and now art silent in heaven 
and become an idle tale? Now were a time for 
thee to let the horns sprout on thy lowering forehead, 
or hide thy white hair under a swan's feathers. 
This is the true Danae. Dare only to touch her body, 
and all thy limbs shall be loosened with fiery heat." . . . 

She was happy, and smiled so sweetly that I thought 127 
the full moon had shown me her face from behind a 
cloud. Then she said, letting the words escape 
through her fingers, If you do not despise a rich 

1 The celebrated 4th century sculptor made for Mantinea 
a group (not extant) of Leto with Apollo and Artemis, a 
statue of Artemis Brauronia for Athens, and an Artemis for 
Anticyra. 

2 Jupiter, when helovedEuropa, Leda, and Danae, appeared 
to them as a bull, a swan, and a shower of gold respec- 
tively. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
nam ornatam et hoc primum anno virum expertam, 
concilio tibi, o iuvenis, sororem. Habes tu quidem et 
fratrem, neque enim me piguit inquirere, sed quid pro- 
hibet et sororem adoptare? Eodem gradu venio. Tu 
tantum dignare et meum osculum, cum libuerit, agno- 
scere." Immo" inquam ego per form am tuam te 
rogo, ne fastidias hominem peregrinum inter cultores 
admittere. Invenies religiosum, si te adorari per- 
miseris. Ac ne me iudices ad hoc templum Amoris 
gratis accedere, dono tibi fratrem meum. * * ' Quid ? tu " * 
inquit ilia donas mihi eum, sine quo non potes vivere, 
ex cuius osculo pendes, quern sic tu amas, quemad- 
modum ego te volo?" Haec ipsa cum diceret, tanta 
gratia conciliabat vocem loquentis, tarn dulcis sonus 
pertemptatum mulcebat aera, ut putares inter auras 
canere Sirenum concordiam. Itaque miranti [et] toto 
mihi caelo clarius nescio quid relucente libuit deae 
nomen quaerere. Ita" inquit non dixit tibi ancilla 
mea me Circen vocari ? Non sum quidem Solis pro- 
genies, nee mea mater, dum placet, labentis mundi 
cursum detinuit. Habebo tamen quod caelo imputem, 
si nos fata coniunxerint. Immo iam nescio quid tacitis 
cogitationibus deus agit. Nee sine causa Polyaenon 
Circe amat: semper inter haec nomina magna fax 
surgit. Sume ergo amplexum, si placet. Neque est 
1 quid tu Pithoeus : quidni. 
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SATYRICON 

woman who has known a man first this very year, 
dear youth, I will give you a new sister. True, you 
have a brother, too, for I made bold ta inquire, but 
why should you not take to yourself a sister as well ? 
I will come as the same kind of relation. Deign only 
to recognize my kiss also when it is your good 
pleasure." 

'I should rather implore you by your beauty," I 
replied, not to scorn to enrol a stranger among your 
worshippers. You will find me a true votary, if you 
allow me to kneel before you. And do not think that 
I would enter this shrine of Love without an offering ; 
I will give you my own brother." 

"What," she said, "you give me the one without 
whom you cannot live, on whose lips you hang, whom 
you love as I would have you love me?" Even as 
she spoke grace made her words so attractive, the 
sweet noise fell so softly upon the listening air, that 
you seemed to have the harmony of the Sirens ringing 
in the breeze. So as I marvelled, and all the light of 
the sky somehow fell brighter upon me, I was moved 
to ask my goddess her name. Then my maid did 
not tell you that I am called Circe?" she said. I am 
not the Sun-child indeed, and my mother has never 
stayed the moving world in its course while she will. 
But I shall have a debt to pay to Heaven if fate brings 
you and me together. Surely now, the Gods with 
their quiet thoughts have some plan in the making. 
Circe does not love Polyaenus * without good reason ; 
when these two names meet, a great fire is always set 
ablaze. Then take me in your embrace if you like. 

1 Polyaenus is the name assumed by Encolpius at Croton. 
Circe in the Odyssey (Book X) is daughter of the Sun. Cf. 
c. 134: Phoebeia Circe. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

quod curiosum aliquem extimescas : longe ab hoc loco 
frater est." Dixit haec Circe, implicitumque me bra- 
chiis mollioribus plumadeduxit in terram vario gramine 
indutam. 

Idaeo quales ftidit de vertice fibres 
terra parens, cum se concesso 1 iunxit amori 
Iuppiter et toto concepit pectore flammas : 
emicuere rosae violaeque et molle cyperon, 
albaque de viridi riserunt lilia prato : 
talis bumus Venerem molles clamavit in herbas, 
candidiorque dies secreto favit amori. 
In hoc gramine pariter compositi mille osculis lusi- 
mus, quaerentes voluptatem robustam . . . 
128L | "Quid est?" mquit "numquid te osculum meum 
offendit? Numquid spiritusieiuiiiomarcens? 2 Numquid 
alarum negligens sudor? Aut 3 si haec non sunt, num- 
quid Gitona times?" Perfusus ego rubore manifesto 
etiam si quid habueram virium, perdidi, totoque cor- 
pore velut luxato 4 "quaeso" inquam regina, noli 
suggillare miserias. Veneficio contactus sum "... 

Die, Chrysis, sed verum : numquid indecens sum ? 
Numquid incompta? Numquid ab aliquo naturali vitio 
formam meam excaeco? Nolidecipere dominam tuam. 
Nescio quid peccavimus." Rapuit deinde tacenti 
speculum, et postquam omnes vultus temptavit, quos 
solet inter amantes risus fingere, excussit vexatam 
solo vestem raptimque aedem Veneris intravit. Ego 
contra damnatus et quasi quodam visu in horrorem 
perductus interrogare animum meum coepi, an vera 
voluptate fraudatus essem. 

1 concesso Sambucus : confesso. 
2 marcens Buecheler: macer. 
8 Aut Buecheler: puto. 
4 luxato Jungermann : laxato. 
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SATYRICON 

You need have no fear of any spy ; your brother is far 
away from here." 

Circe was silent, folded me in two arms softer than 
a bird's wing, and drew me to the ground on a carpet 
of coloured flowers. 

' Such flowers as Earth, our mother, spread on Ida's 
top when Jupiter embraced her and she yielded her 
love, and all his heart was kindled with fire: roses 
glowed there, and violets, and the tender flowering 
rush ; and white lilies laughed from the green grass : 
such a soil summoned Venus to the soft grasses, and 
the day grew brighter and looked kindly on their 
hidden pleasure." 

We lay together there among the flowers and ex- 
changed a thousand light kisses, but we looked for 
sterner play. . . . 

"Tell me," she cried, "do you find no joy in my 128 
lips? Nor in the breath that faints with hunger? Nor 
in my body wet with heat ? If it is none of these, 
are you afraid of Giton?" I crimsoned with blushes 
under her eyes, and lost any strength I might have had 
before, and cried as though there were no whole 
part in my body, " Dear lady, have mercy, do not mock 
my grief. Some poison has infected me." . . . 

"Speak to me, Chrysis, tell me true: am I ugly or 
untidy ? Is there some natural blemish that darkens 
my beauty? Do not deceive your own mistress. I know 
not how, but I have sinned." She then snatched a 
glass from the silent girl, and after trying every look 
that raises a smile to most lovers' lips, she shook out 
the cloak the earth had stained, and hurried into the 
temple of Venus. But I was lost and horror-stricken 
as if I had seen a ghost, and began to Inquire of my 
heart whether I was cheated of my true delight. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

LO | Nocte soporifera veluti cum somnia ludunt 
errantes oculos effossaque protulit aurum 
in lucem tellus : versat manus improba furtum 
thesaurosque rapit, sudor quoque perluit ora 
et mentem timor altus habet, ne forte gravatum 
excutiat gremiura secreti conscius auri : 
mox ubi fugerunt elusam gaudia mentem 
veraque forma redit, animus, quod perdidit, optat 
atque in praeterita se totus imagine versat . . . 
L | i Itaque hoc nomine tibi gratias ago, quod me 
Socratica fide diligis. Non tarn intactus Alcibiades 
in praeceptoris sui lecto iacuit" . . . 
1 29 i Crede mihi, frater, non intellego me virum esse, 
. non sentio. Funerata est ilia pars corporis, qua quon- 
dam Achilles eram" . . . 

Veritus puer, ne in secreto deprehensus daret ser- 
monibus locum, proripuit se et in partem aedium in- 
teriorem fugit . . . 
LO I cubiculum autem meum Chrysis intravit codicil- 
losque mihi dominae suae reddidit, in quibus haec 
erant scripta: Circe Polyaeno salutem. Si libidinosa 
essem, quererer decepta; nunc etiam languori tuo 
gratias ago. In umbra voluptatis diutius lusi. Quid 
tamen agas, quaero, et an tuis pedibus perveneris 
domum ; negant enim medici sine nervis homines 
ambulare posse. Narrabo tibi, adulescens, paralysin 
cave. Nunquam ego aegrum tarn magno periculo vidi ; 
medius fidius iam peristi. Quod si idem frig us genua 
man usque temptaverit tuas, licet ad tubicines mittas. 
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SATYRICON 

As when dreams deceive our wandering eyes in the 
heavy slumber of night, and under the spade the earth 
yields gold to the light of day: our greedy hands 
finger the spoil and snatch at the treasure, sweat too 
runs down our face, and a deep fear grips our heart that 
maybe some one will shake out our laden bosom, where 
he knows the gold is hid : soon, when these pleasures 
flee from the brain they mocked, and the true shape 
of things comes back, our mind is eager for what is 
lost, and moves with all its force among the shadows 
of the past. ... 

So in his name I give you thanks for loving me as 
true as Socrates. Alcibiades never lay so unspotted 
in his master's bed." . . . 

"I tell you, brother, I do not realize that I am a 129 
man, I do not feel it. That part of my body where I 
was once an Achilles is dead and buried/ ' . . . 

The boy was afraid that he might give an opening 
for scandal if he were caught in a quiet place with me, 
and tore himself away and fled into an inner part of 
the house. . . . 

Chrysis came into my room and gave me a letter 
from her mistress, who wrote as follows : Circe greets 
Polyaenus. If I were a passionate woman, I should 
feel betrayed and hurt : as it is I can be thankful even 
for your coldness. I have amused myself too long 
with the shadow of pleasure. But I should like to 
know how you are, and whether your feet carried 
you safely home; the doctors say that people who 
have lost their sinews cannot walk. I tell you 
what, young man, you must beware of paralysis. I 
have never seen a sick person in such grave danger; 
I declare you are as good as dead. If the same mortal 
chill attacks your knees and hands, you may send for 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
Quid ergo est? Etiam si gray em iniuriam accepi, 
homini tamen misero non invideo medicinam. Si 
vis sanus esse, Gitonem roga. Recipies, inquam, nervos 
tuos, si triduo sine fratre dormieris. Nam quod ad me 
attinet, non timeo, ne quis inveniatur cui minus pla- 
ceam. Nee speculum mihi nee fama mentitur. Vale, 
si potes." 

Ut intellexit Chrysis perlegisse me totum convicium, 
% Solent" inquit haec fieri, et praecipue in hac civi- 
tate, in qua mulieres etiam lunam deducunt . . . itaque 
huius quoque rei cura agetur. Rescribe modo blandius 
dominae animumque eius Candida humanitate restitue. 
Verum enim fatendum est : ex qua hora iniuriam ac- 
cepit, apud se non est." Libenter quidem parui an- 
130 cillae verbaque codicillis talia imposui: Polyaenos 
Circae salutem. Fateor me, domina, saepe peccasse ; 
nam et homo sum et adhuc iuvenis. Nunquam tamen 
ante hunc diem usque ad mortem deliqui. Habes con- 
fitentem reum : quicquid iusseris, merui. Proditionem 
feci, hominem occidi, templum violavi: in haec faci- 
nora quaere supplicium. Sive occidere placet, ferro 
meo venio, sive verberibus contenta es, curro nudus 
ad dominam. Illud unum memento, non me sed in- 
strumenta peccasse. Paratus miles arma non habui. 
Quis hoc turbaverit, nescio. Forsitan animus antecessit 
corporis moram, forsitan dum omnia concupisco, volu- 
ptatem tempore consumpsi. Non invenio, quod feci. 
Paralysin tamen cavere iubes : tanquam ea 1 maior fieri 

1 ea Buecheler : iam. 
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SATYRICON 

the funeral trumpeters. And what about me ? Well, 
even if I have been deeply wounded, I do not grudge 
a poor man a cure. If you want to get well, ask 
Giton. I think you will recover your sinews if you 
sleep for three days without your brother. So far as 
I am concerned, I am not afraid of finding anyone 
who dislikes me more. My looking-glass and my 
reputation do not lie. Keep as well as you can." 

When Chrysis saw that I had read through the 
whole of this complaint, she said: These things 
often happen, especially in this town, where the women 
can even draw down the moon from the sky, and so 
attention will be paid to this matter also. Only do 
write back more gently to my mistress, and restore her 
spirits by your frank kindness. For I must tell you 
the truth: she has never been herself from the 
moment you insulted her." 

I obeyed the girl with pleasure and wrote on 130 
a tablet as follows : Polyaenus greets Circe. 
Dear lady, I admit my many failings ; for I am 
human, and still young. But never before this day 
have I committed deadly sin. The culprit confesses 
to you ; I have deserved whatever you may order. I 
have been a. traitor, I have destroyed a man, and pro- 
faned a temple: demand my punishment for these 
crimes. If you decide on execution, I will come with 
my sword ; if you let me off with a flogging, I will run 
naked to my lady. Illud unum memento, non me 
sed instrumenta peccasse. Paratus miles anna non 
habui. Who upset me so I know not. Perhaps my 
will ran on while my body lagged behind, perhaps I 
wasted all my pleasure in delay by desiring too much. 
I cannot discover what I did. But you tell me to 
beware of paralysis: as if the disease could grow 
u 289 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
possit, quae abstulit mihi, per quod etiam te habere 
potui. Summa tamen excusationis meae haec est: 
placebo tibi, si me culpam emendare permiseris" . . . 
L | Dimissa cum eiusmodi pollicitatione Chryside cu- 
ravi diligentius noxiosissimum corpus, balneoque prae- 
terito modica unctione usus, mox cibis validioribus 
pastus, id est bulbis cochlearumque sine iure cervici- 
bus, hausi parcius merum. Hiiic ante somnum levis- 
sima ambulatione compositus sine Gitone cubiculum 
intravi. Tanta erat placandi cura, ut timerem, ne 
131 latus meum frater convelleret. Postero die, cum sine 
offensa corporis animique consurrexissem, in eundem 
platanona descendi, etiam si locum inauspicatum time- 
bam, coepique inter arbores ducem itineris exspectare 
Chrysidem. Nee diu spatiatus consederam, ubi hester- 
no die fueram, cum ilia intus venit 1 comitem anicu- 
lam trahens. Atque ut me consalutavit, * Quid est " 
inquit fastose, ecquid bonam mentem habere 
coepisti ? " 

Ilia de sinu licium protulit varii coloris filis intortum 
cervicemque vinxit meam. Mox turbatum sputo pul- 
verem medio sustulit digito frontemque repugnantis 
signavit . . . 

Hoc peracto carmine ter me iussit exspuere terque 
lapillos conicere in sinum, quos ipsa praecantatos pur- 
pura involverat, admotisque manibus temptare coepit 
inguinum vires. Dicto citius nervi paruerunt imperio 
manusque aniculae ingenti motu repleverunt. At ilia 
1 intus venit Btiecheler: intervenit. 
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SATYRICON 

worse, which has taken away from me the means of 
making you my own. But my apology amounts to 
this — I will do your pleasure if you allow me to mend 
my fault." . . . 

Chrysis was sent off with this promise, and I paid 
great attention to my offending body, and after leaving 
my bath anointed myself in moderation, and then fed 
on strong foods, onions, I mean, and snails' heads 
without sauce, and drank sparingly of wine. I then 
settled myself with a gentle walk before bed, and 
went into my room without Giton. I was so anxious 
to please her that I was afraid my brother might take 
away my strength. Next day I got up sound in mind 131 
and body, and went down to the same grove of plane- 
trees, though I was rather afraid of the unlucky place, 
and began to wait among the trees for Chrysis to lead 
me on my way. 

After walking up and down a short while, I sat 
where I had been the day before, and Chrysis came 
under the trees, bringing an old woman with her. 
When she had greeted me, she said, "Well, disdain- 
ful lover, have you begun to come to your senses?" 
Then the old woman took a twist of threads of differ- 
ent colours out of her dress, and tied it round my neck. 
Then she mixed some dust with spittle, and took it on 
her middle finger, and made a mark on my forehead 
despite my protest. . . . 

After this she ordered me in a rhyme to spit three 
times and throw stones into my bosom three times, 
after she had said a spell over them and wrapped them 
in purple, and laid her hands on me and began to try 
the force of her charm. . . . Dicto citius nervi parue- 
runt imperio manusque aniculae ingenti motu reple- 
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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

gaudio exsultans Vides" inquit Chrysis mea, vides, 
quod aliis leporem excitavi?" . . . 
LO | Nobilis aestivas platanus diffuderat umbras 

et bacis redimita Daphne tremulaeque cupressus 
et circum tonsae trepidanti vertice pinus. 
Has inter ludebat aquis errantibus amnis 
spumeus et querulo vexabat rore lapillos. 
Dignus amore locus : testis silvestris aedon 
atque urbana Procne, quae circum gramina fusae 
ac molles violas cantu sua furta 1 colebant . . . 
Premebat ilia resoluta marmoreis cervicibus aureum 
torum myrtoque florenti quietum . . . verberabat. 
Itaque ut me vidit, paululum erubuit, hesternae scili- 
cet iniuriae memor; deinde ut remotis omnibus 
secundum invitantem consedi, ramum super oculos 
meos posuit, et quasi pariete interiecto audacior facta 
' Quid est" inquit ' paralytice? ecquid hodie totus ve- 
nisti ? " Rogas " inquam ego ' potius quam temptas ? " 
Totoque corpore in amplexum eius immissus non prae- 
cantatis usque ad satietatem osculis fruor . . . 
1 32L | Ipsa corporis pulchritudine me ad se vocante tra- 
hebat ad venerem. lam pluribus osculis collisa labra 
crepitabant, iam implicitae manus omne genus amoris 
invenerant, iam alligata mutuo ambitu corpora ani- 
marum quoque mixturam fecerant . . . 

Manifestis matrona contumeliis verberata tandem ad 
ultionem decurrit vocatque cubicularios et me iubet 
catomidiari. 2 Nee contenta mulier tarn gravi iniuria 

1 furta Buecheler: sura or rura. 

2 catomidiari Salmasius : catarogare. 
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SATYRICON 

verunt. At ilia gaudio exsultans i Vides " inquit 

Chrysis mea, vides, quod aliis leporem excitavi ? " . . . 

The stately plane-tree, and Daphne decked with 
berries, and the quivering cypresses, and the swaying 
tops of the shorn pines, cast a summer shade. Among 
them played the straying waters of a foamy river, 
lashing the pebbles with its chattering flow. The 
place was proper to love ; so the nightingale of the 
woods bore witness, and Procne from the town, as they 
hovered about the grasses and the tender violets, and 
pursued their stolen loves with a song. ... 

She was stretched out there with her marble neck 
pressed on a golden bed, brushing her placid face 
with a spray of myrtle in flower. So when she saw me 
she blushed a little, of course remembering my rude- 
ness the day before ; then, when they had all left us, 
she asked me to sit by her, and I did; she laid the 
sprig of myrtle over my eyes, and then growing 
bolder, as if she had put a wall between us, Well, 
poor paralytic," she said, ' have you come here to-day 
a whole man?" "Do not ask me/' I replied, try 
me." I threw myself eagerly into her arms, and en- 
joyed her kisses unchecked by any magic until I was 
tired. . . . 

The loveliness of her body called to me and drew 132 
us together. There was the sound of a rain of kisses 
as our lips met, our hands were clasped and discovered 
all the ways of love, then our bodies were held and 
bound by our embrace until even our souls were made 
as one soul. . . . 

My open taunts stung the lady, and at last she ran 
to avenge herself, and called her chamber grooms, and 
ordered me to be hoisted for flogging. Not content 
-with this black insult, the woman called up all her low 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

mea convocat omnes quasillarias familiaeque sordidissi- 
mam partem ac me conspui iubet. Oppono ego man us 
oculis meis, nullisque effusis precibus, quia sciebam 
quidmeniissem^verberibussputisque 1 . . . extra ianuam 
eiectus sum. Eicitur et Proselenos, Chrysis vapulat, 
totaque familia tristis inter se mussat quaeritque, quis 
dominae hilaritatem confuderit . . . 

Itaque pensatis vicibus animosior verberum notas 
arte contexi, ne aut Eumolpus contumelia mea hilarior' 
LO fieret aut tristior Giton. | Quod solum igitur salvo 
pudore poteram, contingere languorem simulavi, con- 
ditusque lectulo totum ignem furoris in earn converti, 
quae mihi omnium malorum causa fuerat : 
ter corripui terribilem manu bipennem, 
ter languidior coliculi repente thyrso 
ferrum timui, quod trepido male dabat usum. 
Nee iam poteram, quod modo conficere libebat ; 
namque ilia metu frigidior rigente bruma 
confugerat in viscera mille operta rugis. 
Ita non potui supplicio caput aperire, 
sed furciferae mortifero timore lusus 
ad verba, magis quae poterant nocere, fugi. 
Erectus igitur in cubitum hac fere oratione contu- 
macemvexavi: "Quid dicis" inquam omnium homi- 
num deorumque pudor ? Nam ne nominare quidem te 
inter res serias fas est. Hoc de te merui, ut me in 
L caelo positum ad inferos traheres? | Ut traduceres 
annos primo florentes vigore senectaeque ultimae milii 
lassitudinem imponeres ? Rogo te, mihi apodixin de- 
functoriam redde. ,> Haec ut iratus efFudi, 

1 Bitecheler would insert obrutus. 
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SATYRICON 

spinsters, and the very dregs of her slaves, and invited 
them to spit upon me. I put my hands to my eyes 
and never poured forth any appeal, for I knew my 
deserts, and was beaten and spat upon and thrown 
out of doors. Proselenos was thrown out too, Chrysis 
was flogged, and all the slaves muttered gloomily to 
themselves, and asked who had upset their mistress's 
spirits. ... So after considering my position I took 
courage, and carefully hid the marks of the lash for 
fear Eumolpus should exult or Giton be depressed at 
my disgrace. | Quod solum igitur salvo pudore pote- 
ram, contingere languorem simulavi, conditusque lec- 
tulo totum ignem furoris in earn converti, quae mihi 
omnium malorum causa fuerat : 

ter corripui terribilem manu bipennem, 

ter languidior coliculi repente thyrso 

ferrum timui, quod trepido male dabat usum. 

Nee iam poteram, quod modo conficere libebat ; 

namque ilia metu frigidior rigente bruma 

confugerat in viscera mille operta rugis. 

Ita non potui supplicio caput aperire, 

sed furciferae mortifero timore lusus 

ad verba, magis quae poterant nocere, fugi. 

Erectus igitur in cubitum hac fere oratione contu- 
macem vexavi : Quid dicis " inquam " omnium homi- 
num deorumque pudor ? Nam ne nominare quidem te 
inter res serias fas est. Hoc de te merui, ut me in 
caelo positum ad inferos traheres ? | Ut traduceres L 
annos primo florentes vigore senectaeque ultimae mihi 
lassitudinem imponeres ? Rogo te, mihi apodixin de- 
functoriam redde." Haec ut iratus effudi, 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

LO | ilia solo fixos oculos aversa tenebat, 

nee magis incepto vultum sermone movetur 
quam lentae salices lassove papavera collo. 
Nee minus ego tarn foeda obiurgatione finita paeni- 
tentiam agere sermonis mei coepi secretoque rubore 
perfundi, quod oblitus verecundiae meae cum ea parte 
corporis verba contulerim, quam ne ad cognitionem 
quidem admittere* severioris notae homines solerent. 
Mox perfricata diutius fronte Quid autem ego" in- 
quam "mali feci, si dolorem meum naturali convicio 
exoneravi ? Aut quid est quod in corpore humano 
ventri male dicere solemus aut gulae capitique etiam, 
cum saepius dolet? Quid? Non et Vlixes cum corde 
L litigat suo, | et quidam tragici oculos suos tanquam 
audientes castigant? Podagrici pedibus suis male 
dicunt, chiragrici manibus, lippi oculis, et qui offen- 
derunt saepe digitos, quicquid doloris habent, in pedes 
deferunt : 
LO | Quid me constricta spectatis fronte Catones 
damnatisque novae simplicitatis opus ? 
Sermonis puri non tristis gratia ridet, 

quodque facit populus, Candida lingua refert. 
Nam quis concubitus, Veneris quis gaudia nescit ? 

Quis vetat 1 in tepido membra calere toro ? 
Ipse pater veri doctos Epicurus amare 2 

iussit, et hoc vitam dixit habere tcXos "... 
L | "Nihil est hominum inepta persuasione falsius nee 

ficta severitate ineptius "... 
1S3L0 | Hac declamatione finita Gitona voco et ' Narra 
mihi " inquam " frater, sed tua fide : ea nocte, qua te 
mihi Ascyltos subduxit, usque in iniuriam vigilavit, 

1 vetat Dousa : petat. 

* doctos amare Dousa : doctus in arte. 

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SATYRICON ~V 

| ilia solo fixos oculos aversa tenebat, v "* LO 

nee magis incepto vultum sermone movetur 
quam lentae salices lassove papavera collo. 
Nee minus ego tam foeda obiurgatione finita paeni- 
tentiam agere sermonis mei coepi secre toque rubore 
perfundi, quod oblitus verecundiae meae cum ea parte 
corporis verba contulerim, quam ne ad cognitionem 
quidem admittere severioris notae homines solerent. 
Then, after rubbing my forehead for a long while, I 
said, But what harm have I done if I have relieved 
my sorrow with some free abuse ? And then there is 
the fact that of our bodily members we often damn 
our guts, our throats, even our heads, when they give 
us much trouble. Did not Ulysses argue with his own 
heart, 1 while some tragedians curse their eyes as if 
they could hear? Gouty people damn their feet, 
people with chalk-stones their hands, blear-eyed 
people their eyes, and men who have often hurt their J 

toes put down all their ills to their poor feet : 

Why do ye, Cato's disciples, look at me with 
wrinkled foreheads, and condemn a work of fresh sim- 
plicity ? A cheerful kindness laughs through my pure 
speech, and my clean mouth reports whatever the 
people do. All men born know of mating and the 
joys of love ; all men are free to let their limbs glow 
in a warm bed. Epicurus, the true father of truth, 
bade wise men be lovers, and said that therein lay the 
crown of life. ,, . . . 

There is nothing more insincere than people's silly 
convictions, or more silly than their sham morality. . . . 

When my speech was over, I called Giton, and said, 133 
Now tell me, brother, on your honour. That night v 
when Ascyltos took you away from me, did he keep \J 

1 In the line t£t\<i$i 61), Kpadrf, /c&i Kuvrepov 6XK0 irvr* irXijs. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

an contentus fuit vidua pudicaque nocte ? " Tetigit 
puer oculos suos conceptissimisque iuravit verbis sibi 
ab Ascylto nullam vim factam . . . 

Positoque in limine genu sic deprecatus sum nuinina 
versu : 

Nympharum Bacchique comes, quern pulchra Dione 
divitibus silvis numen dedit, inclita paret 
cui Lesbos viridisque Thasos, quem Lydus adorat 
semper ovans 1 templumque suis* imponit Hypaepis : 
hue ades et Bacchi tutor Dryadumque voluptas, 
et timidas admitte preces. Non sanguine tristi 
perfusus venio, non templis impius hostis 
admovi dextram, sed inops et rebus egenis 
attritus facinus non toto corpore feci. 
Quisquis peccat inops, minor est reus. Hac prece quaeso, 
exonera mentem culpaeque ignosce minori, 
et quandoque mihi fortunae arriserit hora, 
non sine honore tuum patiar decus. Ibit ad aras, 
sancte tuas hircus, pecoris pater, ibit ad aras 
corniger et querulae fetus 3 suis, hostia lactens. 
Spumabit pateris hornus liquor, et ter ovantem 
circa delubrum gressum feret ebria pubes" . . . 

Dum haec ago curaque sollerti deposito meo caveo, 
intravit delubrum anus laceratis crinibus nigraque 
veste deformis, extraque vestibulum me iniecta manu 
duxit . . . 
\S4fL Quae striges comederunt neryos tuos, aut quod 
purgamentum nocte calcasti in trivio aut cadaver? Ne 

1 septifluus most MSS.: semperflavius cod. Bernensis : vesti- 
fluus Turnebus : semper ovans Buecheler. 
a suis Jungermann : tuis. 
8 fetus Sambucus : festus. 

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SATYRICON 

awake until he had wronged you, or was he satisfied 
with spending the night decently alone?" The boy 
touched his eyes and swore a most precise oath that 
Ascyltos had used no force to him. . . . 

I kneeled down on the threshold and entreated the 
favour of the gods in these lines : 

Comrade of the Nymphs and Bacchus, whom lovely 
Dione set as god over the wide forests, whom famous 
Lesbos and green Thasos obey, whom the Lydian 
worships in perpetual celebration, whose temple he has 
set in his own city of Hypaepa : come hither, guardian 
of Bacchus and the Dryads' delight, and hear my 
humble prayer. I come not to thee stained with dark 
blood, I have not laid hands on a temple like a wicked 
enemy, but when I was poor and worn with want I 
sinned, yet not with my whole body. There is less 
guilt in a poor man's sin. This is my prayer; take 
the load from my mind, forgive a light offence; and 
whenever fortune's season smiles upon me, I will not 
leave thy glory without worship. A goat shall walk 
to thine altars, most holy one, a horned goat that is 
father of the flock, and the young of a grunting sow, 
a tender sacrifice. The new wine of the year shall 
foam in the bowls, and the young men full of wine 
shall trace their joyous steps three times round thy 
sanctuary." ... 

As I was doing this and making clever plans to 
guard my trust, an old woman in ugly black clothes, 
with her hair down, came into the shrine, laid hands 
on me, and drew me out through the porch. . . . 

"What screech-owl has eaten your nerve away, 134 
what foul thing or corpse have you trodden on at 
a cross-road in the dark? Never even in boyhood 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

a puero quidem te vindicasti, sed mollis, debilis, lassus 
tanquam caballus in clivo, et operam et sudorem per- 
didisti. Nee contentus ipse peccare, mihi deos iratos 
excitasti" 1 . . . 

LO | Ac me iterum in cellam sacerdotis nihil recusantem 
perduxit impulitque super lectum et harundinem ab 
osiio rapuit iterumque nihil respondentem mulcavit 
Ac nisi primo ictu harundo quassata impetum verbe- 
rantis minuisset, forsitan etiam brachia mea caputque 
fregisset. Ingemui ego utique propter mascarpionem, 
lacrimisque ubertim manantibus obscuratum dextra 
caput super pulvinum inclinavi. Nee minus ilia fletu 
confusa altera parte lectuli sedit aetatisque longae 
moram tremulis vocibus coepit accusare, donee inter- 
venit sacerdos. 

' Quid vos " inquit "in cellam meam tanquam ante 
recens bustum venistis ? | Utique die feriarum, quo 
etiam lugentes rident." 

LO | "O" inquit "Oenothea, hunc adulescentem quern 
vides : malo astro natus est ; nam neque puero neque 

L puellae bona sua vendere potest. | Nunquam tu homi- 
nem tarn infelicem vidisti : lorum in aqua, non inguina 

LO habet. | Ad summam, qualem putas esse, qui de Circes 

L toro sine voluptate surrexit ? " | His auditis Oenothea 
inter utrumque consedit motoque diutius capite 
Istum ' ' inquit morbum sola sum quae emendare scio. 
Et ne me putetis perplexe agere, rogo ut adulescentulus 
mecum nocte dormiat .... 
nisi illud tarn rigidum reddidero quam cornu : 
1 excttasti Wowwer; extricasti. 
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SATYRICON 

could you hold your own, but you were weakly, feeble, 
tired, and like a cab-horse on a hill you wasted your 
efforts and your sweat. And not content with failing 
yourself, you have roused the gods to wrath against 
me." ... 

And she took me unresisting into the priestess's 
room again, and pushed me over the bed, and took a 
cane off the door and beat me again when I remained 
unresponsive. And if the cane had not broken at the 
first stroke and lessened the force of the blow, I dare- 
say she would have broken my head and my arm 
outright. Anyhow I groaned at her dirty tricks, and 
wept abundantly, and covered my head with my right 
arm, and leaned against the pillow. She was upset, 
and cried too, and sat on another piece of the bed, and 
began to curse the delays of old age in a quavering 
voice, when the priestess came in. 

' Why have you come into my room as if you were 
visiting a fresh-made grave?" she said. Especially 
on a holiday, when even mourners smile." "Ah, 
Oenothea," said the woman, "this young man was 
born under a bad planet ; he cannot sell his treasure 
to boys or girls either. You never beheld such an 
unlucky creature : he is a piece of wash-leather, not a 
real man. Just to show you, what do you think of a 
man who can come away from Circe without a spark 
of pleasure?" When Oenothea heard this she sat 
down between us, shook her head for some time, and 
then said, I am the only woman alive who knows 
how to cure that disease. Et ne me putetis perplexe 
agere, rogo ut adulescentulus mecum nocte dor- 
miat . . . 
nisi illud tarn rigidum reddidero quam cornu : 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
LO | Quicquid in orbe vides, paret mihi. Florida tellus, 
cum volo, siccatis arescit languida sucis, 
cum volo, fundit opes, scopulique atque horrida saxa 
Niliacas iaculantur aquas. Mihi pontus inertes 
submittit fluctus, zephyrique tacentia ponunt 
ante meos sua flabra pedes. Mihi flumina parent 
Hyrcanaeque tigres et iussi stare dracones. 
Quid leviora loquor ? Lunae descendit imago 
carminibus deducta meis, trepidusque furentes 
flectere Phoebus equos revoluto cogitur orbe. 
Tantum dicta valent. Taurorum flamma quiescit 
virgineis exstincta sacris, Phoebeia Circe 
carminibus magicis socios mutavit Vlixis, 
Proteus esse solet quicquid libet. His ego call ens 
artibus Idaeos frutices in gurgite sistam 
et rursus fluvios in summo vertice ponam." 
135 Inhorrui ego tam fabulosa pollicitatione conterritus, 
anumque inspicere diligentius coepi . . . 
" Ergo" exclamat Oenothea "imperio parete" . . . 
detersisque curiose manibus inclinavit se in lectulum 
ac me semel iterumque basiavit . . . 
L | Oenothea mensam veterem posuit in medio altari, 
quam vivis implevit carbonibus, et camellam etiam 
vetustate ruptam pice temperata refecit. Turn clavum, 
qui detrahentem secutus cum camella lignea fuerat, 
L fumoso parieti reddidit. | Mox incincta quadrato pallio 
cucumam ingentem foco apposuit, simulque pannum 
de carnario detulit furca, in quo faba erat ad usum 
L reposita | et sincipitis vetustissima particula mille 
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SATYRICON 

" Whatever thou seest in the world is obedient to 
me. The flowery earth, when I will, faints and 
withers as its juices dry, and, when I will, pours forth 
its riches, while rocks and rough crags spurt waters 
wide as the Nile. The great sea lays its waves 
lifeless before me, and the winds lower their blasts 
in silence at my feet. The rivers obey me, and 
Hyrcanian tigers, and serpents, whom I bid stand 
still. But I will not tell you of small things; the 
shape of the moon is drawn down to me by my 
spells, and Phoebus trembles and must turn his 
fiery steeds as I compel him back in his course. So 
great is the power of words. The flaming spirit of 
bulls is quenched and calmed by a maiden's rites, and 
Circe, the child of Phoebus, transfigured Ulysses's 
crew with magic songs, and Proteus can take what 
form he will. And I, who am cunning in these arts, 
can plant the bushes of Mount Ida in the sea, or set 
rivers back on lofty peaks." 

I shrank in horror from her promised miracles, and 1 35 
began to look at the old woman more carefully. . . . 
Now," cried Oenothea, obey my orders!" and she 
wiped her hands carefully, leaned over the bed, and 
kissed me once, twice .... 

Oenothea put up an old table in the middle of the 
altar, and covered it with live coals, and repaired a 
wine-cup that had cracked from age with warm pitch. 
Then she drove in once more on the smoky wall a 
nail which had come away with the wooden wine- 
cup when she took it down. Then she put on a 
square cloak, and laid an enormous cooking-pot on the 
hearth, and at the same time took off the meat-hooks 
with a fork a bag which had in it some beans put by for 
use, and some very mouldy pieces of a brain smashed into 

303 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

LO plagis dolata. | Ut solvit ergo licio pannum, partem 
leguminis super mensam effudit iussitque me dili- 
genter purgare. Servio ego imperio granaque sordi- 
dissimis putaminibus vestita curiosa manu segrego. At 
ilia iiiertiam meam accusans improba tollit, denti- 
busque folliculos pariter spoliat atque in terram veluti 
muscarum imagines despuit . . . 

Mirabar equidem paupertatis ingenium singula- 
rumque rerum quasdam artes : 

Non Indum fulgebat ebur, quod inhaeserat auro, 
nee iam calcato radiabat marmore terra 
muneribus delusa suis, sed crate saligna 
impositum Cereris vacuae nemus et nova terrae 
pocula, quae facili vilis rota finxerat actu. 1 
Hinc molli stillae lacus et de caudice lento 
vimineae lances maculataque testa Lyaeo. 
At paries circa palea satiatus inani 
fortuitoque luto clavos 2 numerabat agrestes, 
et viridi iunco gracilis pendebat harundo. 
Praeterea quae nimoso suspensa tigillo 
conservabat opes humilis casa, mitia sorba 
inter odoratas pendebant texta coronas 
et thymbrae veteres et passis uva racemis : 
qualis in Actaea quondam rait hospita terra, 
digna sacris Hecales, quam Musa loquentibus annis 
Battiadae vatis mirandam tradidit aevo . . . 
1 $6 Dum ilia carnis etiam paululum delibat . . . 

et dum coaequale natalium suorum sinciput in car- 
narium furca reponit, fracta est putris sella, quae 



*actu margin ofL: astu or hastu. 
* clavos Sambucus : clavus. 



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SATYRICON 

a thousand fragments.,, After unfastening the bag she 
poured out some of the beans on the table, and told 
me to shell them carefully. I obeyed orders, and my 
careful fingers parted the kernels from their dirty 
covering of shell. But she reproved me for laziness, 
snatched them up in a hurry, tore off the shells with 
her teeth in a moment, and spat them on to the ground 
like the empty husks of flies. . . 

I marvelled at the resources of poverty, and the art 
displayed in each particular. 'No Indian ivory set 
in gold shone here, the earth did not gleam with 
marble now trodden upon and mocked for the gifts 
she gave, but the grove of Ceres on her holiday was 
set round with hurdles of willow twigs and fresh cups 
of clay shaped by a quick turn of the lowly wheel. 
There was a vessel for soft honey, and wicker-work 
plates of pliant bark, and a jar dyed with the blood 
of Bacchus. And the wall round was covered with 
light chaff and spattered mud; on it hung rows 
of rude nails and slim stalks of green rushes. 
Besides this, the little cottage roofed with smoky 
beams preserved their goods, the soft service-berries 
hung entwined in fragrant wreaths, and dried savory 
and bunches of raisins; such a hostess was here as was 
once on Athenian soil, worthy of the worship of 
Hecale, 1 of whom the Muse testified for all ages to 
adore her, in the years when the poet of Cyrene sang." 

While she was having a small mouthful of meat as 1 36 
well, . . . and was replacing the brain, which must have 
been born on her own birthday, on the jack with her 
fork, the rotten stool which she was using to increase 

1 Hecale was a poor woman who entertained Theseus. The 
poet CalHmachus (a native of Cyrene, founded by Aristotle 
of Thera, called Battus) wrote a famous epic called after her. 
x 305 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

staturae altitudinem adiecerat, anumque pondere 

suo deiectam super foculum mittit. Frangitur ergo 

cervix cucumulae ignemque modo convalescentem 

L restinguit. | Vexat cubitum ipsa stipite ardenti | 

LO faciemque totam excitato cinere perfundit. Con- 

surrexi equidem turbatus anumque non sine risu 

erexi . . . 

L | Statimque, ne res aliqua sacrificium moraretur, ad 

reficiendum ignem in viciniam cucurrit. . . . 
| Itaque ad casae ostiolum processi . . . 
LO\L I. cum ecce tres anseres sacri | qui, ut puto medio 
LO die solebant ab anu diaria exigere, | impetum in 
me faciunt foedoque ac veluti rabioso stridore 
circumsistunt trepidantem. Atque alius tunicam 
meam lacerat, alius vincula calceamentorum resolvit 
ac trahit; unus etiam, dux ac magister saevitiae, 
non dubitavit crus meum serrato vexare morsu. 
Oblitus itaque nugarum pedem mensulae extorsi 
coepique pugnacissimum animal armata elidere 
manu. Nee satiatus defunctorio ictu, morte me 
anseris vindicavi: 

Tales Herculea Stymphalidas arte coactas 
ad caelum fugisse reor, pennaeque fluentis 
Harpyias, cum Phineo maduere veneno 
fallaces epulae. Tremuit perterritus aether 
planctibus insolitis, confusaque regia caeli . . . 
L | lam reliqui revolutam passimque per totum effiisam 
pavimentum collegerant fabam, orbatique, ut existimo, 
duce redierant in templum, cum ego praeda simul 
atque [hac] vindicta gaudens post lectum occisum 
anserem mitto vulnusque cruris baud altum aceto 
306 



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SATYRICON 

her height broke, and the old woman's weight sent 
her down on to the hearth. So the neck of the pot 
broke and put out the fire, which was just getting 
up. A glowing brand touched her elbow, and her 
whole face was covered* with the ashes she scattered. 
I jumped up in confusion and put the old woman 
straight, not without a laugh. . . . She ran off to her 
neighbours to see to reviving the fire, to prevent 
anything keeping the ceremony back. ... So I went to 
the door of the house, . . . when all at once three sacred 
geese, who I suppose generally demanded their daily 
food from the old woman at mid-day, made a rush at 
me, and stood round me while I trembled, cackling 
horribly like mad things. One tore my clothes, 
another untied the strings of my sandals and tugged 
them off; the third, the ringleader and chief of the 
brutes, lost no time in attacking my leg with his 
jagged bill. It was no laughing matter : I wrenched 
off a leg of the table and began to hammer the ferocious 
creature with this weapon in my hand. One simple 
blow did not content me. I avenged my honour by 
the death of the goose. 

Even so I suppose the birds of Stymphalus fled 
into the sky when the power of Hercules compelled 
them, and the Harpies whose reeking wings made 
the tantalizing food of Phineus run with poison. The 
air above trembled and shook with unwonted lamen- 
tation, and the palace of heaven was in an uproar.' . . . 
The remaining geese had now picked up the beans, 
which were spilt and scattered all over the floor, and 
having lost their leader had gone • back, I think, to 
the temple. Then I came in, proud of my prize and 
my victory, threw the dead goose behind the bed, 
and bathed the wound on my leg, which was not 
x2 307 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
diluo. Deinde convicium verens abeundi formavi 
consilium, collectoque cultu meo ire extra casam coepi. 
Necdum superaveram 1 cellulae limen, cum animad- 
verto Oenotheam cum testo ignis pleno venientem. 
Reduxi igitur gradum proiectaque veste, tanquam exspe- 
ctarem morantem, in aditu steti. Collocavit ilia ignem 
cassis harundinibus collectum, ingestisque super pluri- 
bus lignis excusare coepit moram, quod arnica se non 
dimisisset nisi tribus potionibus e lege siccatis. Quid" 
porro ' tu" inquit me absente fecisti, aut ubi est 
faba?" Ego, qui putaveram me rem laude etiam 
dignam fecisse, ordine illi totum proelium exposui, et 
ne diutius tristis esset, iacturae pensionem anserem 

LO obtuli. Quem | anus ut vidit, tarn magnum aeque cla- 
morem sustulit, ut putares iterum anseres limen 
intrasse. Confusus itaque et novitate facinoris attoni- 

137 tus quaerebam, quid excanduisset, autquare anseris 
potius quam mei miserere tur. At ilia complosis 
manibus Scelerate" inquit ' etiam loqueris? Nescis 
quam magnum flagitium admiseris: occidisti Priapi 
delicias, anserem omnibus matronis acceptissimum. 
Itaque ne te putes nihil egisse, si magistratus hoc 
scierint, ibis in crucem. Polluisti sanguine domicilium 
meum ante hunc diem inviolatum, fecistique ut me, 
quisquis voluerit inimicus, sacerdotio pellat." . . . 
L | " Rogo ' ' inquam " noli clamare : ego tibi pro ansere 
struthocamelum reddam" . . . 

1 superaveram Tumebus: liberaveram or libaveram. 
308 



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SATYRICON 

deep, with vinegar. Then, being afraid of a scolding, 
I made a plan for getting away, put my things to- 
gether, and started to leave the house. I had not yet 
got outside the room, when I saw Oenothea coming 
with ajar full of live coals. So I drew back and threw 
off my coat, and stood in the entrance as if I were 
waiting for her return. She made up a fire which 
she raised out of some broken reeds, and after heaping 
on a quantity of wood, began to apologize for her delay, 
saying that her friend would not let her go until the 
customary three glasses had been emptied. " What did 
you do while I was away?" she went on, and where 
are the beans?" Thinking that I had done some- 
thing which deserved a word of praise, I described 
the whole of my fight in detail, and to put an end to 
her depression I produced the goose as a set-off to her 
losses. When the old woman saw the bird, she 
raised such a great shriek that you would have thought 
that the geese had come back into the room again. I 
was astonished and shocked to find so strange a 
crime at my door, and I asked her why she had 
flared up, and why she should be more sorry for the 
goose than for me. But she beat her hands together 137 
and said, * You villain, you dare to speak. Do you 
not know what a dreadful sin you have committed ? 
You have killed the darling of Priapus, the goose 
beloved of all married women. And do not suppose 
that it is not serious ; if any magistrate finds out, on 
the cross you go. My house was spotless until to-day, 
and you have defiled it with blood, and you have given 
any enemy of mine who likes the power to turn me 
out of my priesthood." . . . 

Not such a noise, please," I said; I will give you 
an ostrich to replace the goose." . . . 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

Dum haec me stupente in lectulo sedet anserisque 
fatum complorat, interim Proselenos cum impensa 
sacrificii venit, visoque ansere occiso sciscitata causam 
tristitiae et ipsa flere vehementius coepit meique 
misereri, tanquam patrem meum, non publicum 
anserem, occidissem. Itaque taedio fatigatus rogo" 
inquam * expiare manus pretio liceat 1 . . . 
si vos provocassem, etiam si homicidium fecissem. 
Ecce duos aureos pono, unde possitis et deos et anseres 
emere." Quos ut vidit Oenothea, "ignosce" inquit 
adulescens, sollicita sum tua causa. Amoris est hoc 
argumentum, non malignitatis. Itaque dabimus ope- 
rant ne quis sciat. Tu modo deos roga, ut illi facto 
tuo ignoscant." 
LO | Quisquis habet nummos, secura navigat 2 aura 
fortunamque suo temperat arbitrio. 
Uxorem ducat Danaen ipsumque licebit 
Acrisium iubeat credere quod Danaen. 
Carmina componat, declamet, concrepet omnes 

et peragat causas sitque Catone prior. 
Iurisconsultus "parret, non parret" habeto 

atque esto quicquid Servius et Labeo. 

Multa loquor : quod vis, nummis praesentibus opta, 

et veniet. Clausum possidet area Iovem . . . 

L | Infra manus meas camellam vini posuit, et cum 

digitos pariter extensos porris apioque lustrasset, 

abellanas nuces cum precatione mersit in vinum. Et 

sive in summum redierant, sive subsederant, ex hoc 

1 liceat Dousa : licet. 
8 navigat Vincentius: naviget. 
310 



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SATYRICON 

I was amazed, and the woman sat on the bed and 
wept over the death of the goose, until Proselenos 
came in with materials for the sacrifice, and seeing 
the dead bird, inquired why we were so depressed. 
When she found out she began to weep loudly, too, 
and to compassionate me as if I had killed my own 
father instead of a common goose. I grew tired and 
disgusted, and said, Please let me cleanse my hands 
by paying ; it would be another thing if I had insulted 
you or done a murder. Look, I will put down two 
gold pieces. You can buy both gods and geese for 
that." When Oenothea saw the money, she said, 

Forgive me, young man, I am troubled on your 
account. I am showing my love and not my ill-will. 
So we will do our best to keep the secret. But pray 
the gods to pardon what you have done." 

Whoever has money sails in a fair wind, and directs 
his fortune at his own pleasure. Let him take Danae 
to wife, and he can tell Acrisius to believe what he 
told Danae. Let him write poetry, make speeches, 
snap his fingers at the world, win his cases and outdo 
Cato. A lawyer, let him have his Proven ' and his 
'Not proven/ and be all that Servius and Labeo 
were. I have said enough : with money about you, 
wish for what you like and it will come. Your safe 
has Jupiter shut up in it." . . . 

She stood ajar of wine under my hands, and made me 
stretch all my fingers out, and rubbed them with leeks 
and parsley, and threw filberts into the wine with a 
prayer. She drew her conclusions from them according 

311 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

coniecturam ducebat. 1 Nee me fallebat inanes scilicet 
ac sine medulla ventosas nuces in summo umore 
consistere, graves autem et plenas integro fructu ad 
ima deferri . . . 

Recluso pectore extraxit fartissimum* iecur et inde 
mihi futura praedixit. 

Immo, ne quod vestigium sceleris superesset, totum 
anserem laceratum verubus confixit epulasque etiam 
lautas paulo ante, ut ipsa dicebat, perituro paravit. . . . 

Volabant inter haec potiones meracae . . » 
138 Profert Oenothea scorteum fascinum, quod ut oleo 
et minuto pipere atque urticae trito circumdedit 
semine, paulatim coepit inserere ano meo. . . . 

Hoc crudelissima anus spargit subinde umore femina 
mea ... 

Nasturcii sucum cum habrotono miscet perfusisque 
inguinibus meis viridis urticae fascem comprehendit 
omniaque infra umbilicum coepit lentamanu caedere . . . 

Aniculae quamvis solutae mero ac libidine essent, 
eandem viam tentant et per aliquot vicos secutae fugi- 
entem " Prende furem " clamant. Evasi tamen omnibus 
digitis inter praecipitem decursum cruentatis . . . 

Chrysis, quae priorem fortunam tuam oderat, hanc 
vel cum periculo capitis persequi destinat" . . . 

"Quid huic formae aut Ariadne habuit aut Leda 
simile? Quid contra hanc Helene, quid Venus posset? 
Ipse Paris, dearum litigantium 3 iudex,si hanc in compa- 

1 hoc Goldast: hac coniecturam ducebat Dousa : 

coniectura dicebat. 

* fart issi mum Heinsius : fortissimum. 

* litigantium Dousa : libidinantium. 

312 



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SATYRICON 

as they rose to the top or sank. I noticed that the nuts 
which were empty and had no kernel,but were filled with 
air, stayed on the surface, while the heavy ones, which 
were ripe and full, were carried to the bottom. . . . 

She cut the goose open, drew out a very fat liver, 
and foretold the future to me from it. Further, to 
remove all traces of my crime, she ran the goose right 
through with a spit, and made quite a fine meal for 
me, though I had been at death's door a moment ago, 
as she told me. . . . 

Cups of neat wine went swiftly lpund with it. . . . 

Profert Oenothea scorteum fascinum, quod ut oleo 138 
et minuto pipere atque urticae trito circumdedit 
semine, paulatim coepit inserere ano meo. . . . 

Hoc crudelissima anus spargit subinde umore femina 
mea . 

Nasturcii sucum cum habrotono miscet perfusisque 
inguinibus meis viridis urticae fascem comprehendit 
omniaque infra umbilicum coepit lentamanucaedere . . . 

Though the poor old things were silly with drink 
and passion they tried to take the same road, and 
pursued me through several streets, crying "Stop 
thief!" But I escaped, with all my toes running 
blood in my headlong flight. . . . 

"Chrysis, who despised your lot before, means to 
follow you now even at peril of her life." . . . 

Ariadne and Leda had no beauty like hers. Helen 
and Venus would be nothing beside her. And Paris 
himself, who decided the quarrel of the goddesses, 1 
would have made over Helen and the goddesses too 
to her, if his eager gaze had seen her to compare 

1 Paris judged the claims of Hera, Aphrodite and Athena 
to the golden apple inscribed (i To the fairest," which Eris 
threw among the guests at the wedding of Peleus and 
Thetis, and awarded it to Aphrodite. 3 1 3 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

ratione vidisset tam petulantibus oculis, et Helenen 
huic donasset et deas. Saltern si permitteretur oscu- 
lum capere, si illud caeleste ac divinum pectus 
amplecti forsitan rediret hoc corpus ad vires et 
resipiscerent partes veneficio, credo, sopitae. Nee me 
contumeliae lassant: quod verberatus sum, nescio; 
quod eiectus sum, lusum puto. Modo redire in gra- 
tiam liceat" . . . 
139 Torum frequenti tractatione vexavi, amoris mei 
quasi quandam imaginem . . . 
"Non solum me numen et implacabile fatum 
persequitur. Prius Inachia Tirynthius ora 
exagitatus onus caeli tulit, ante profanam 
Laomedon gemini satiavit numinis iram, - 
Iunonem Pelias sensit, tulit inscius arma 
Telephus et regnum Neptuni pavit Vlixes. 
Me quoque per terras, per cani Nereos aequor 
Hellespontiaci sequitur gravis ira Priapi" . . . 
Quaerere a Gitone meo coepi, num aliquis me 
quaesisset. Nemo" inquit hodie. Sed hesterno die 
mulier quaedam haud inculta ianuam intravit, cumque 
diu mecum esset locuta et me accersito sermone las- 
sasset, ultimo coepit dicere, te noxam meruisse datu- 
rumque serviles poenas, si laesus in querella perseve- 

rasset" . . . 
314 



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SATYRICON 

with them. If only I were allowed a kiss, or could 
put my arms round the body that is heaven's own 
self; maybe my body would come back to its strength, 
and the part of me that is drowsed with poison, I 
believe, might be itself again. No insult turns me 
back ; I forget my floggings, and I think it fine sport 
to be flung out of doors. Only let her be kind to me 
again." ... 

I moved uneasily over the bed again and again, as 1 39 
if I sought for the ghost of my love .... 

6 1 am not the only one whom God and an inexor- 
able doom pursues. Before me the son of Tiryns was 
driven from the Inachian shore and bore the burden 
of heaven, and Laomedon before me satisfied the 
ominous wrath of two gods. 1 Pelias felt Juno's power, 
Telephus 2 fought in ignorance, and Ulysses was in awe 
of Neptune's kingdom. 8 And me too the heavy wrath 
of Hellespontine Priapus follows over the earth and 
over the waters of hoary Nereus.' . . . 

I began to inquire of Giton whether anyone had 
asked for me. 'No one to-day," he said, but yes- 
terday a rather pretty woman came in at the door, 
and talked to me for a long while, till I was tired of 
her forced conversation, and then began to say that 
you deserved to be hurt and would have the tortures 
of a slave, if your adversary persisted with his com- 
plaint." . . . 

x He cheated Apollo and Neptune of their wages for building 
Troy. See Homer, Iliad xxiii, 442 : Horace, Odes, iii. 3. 

* He was king of Mysia and fought the Greeks who were 
driven ashore in his country on their way to Troy. Achilles 
wounded him with the miraculous spear of Chiron. (Murray, 
Euripides, p. 345.) 

8 The Odyssey is the record of the wanderings of Ulysses 
by sea. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

Nondum querellam finieram, cum Chrysis intervenit 
amplexuque efftisissimo me invasit et Teneo te" 
inquit "qualem speraveram : tu desiderium meum, tu 
voluptas mea, nunquam finies hunc ignem, nisi san- 
guine exstinxeris" . . . 

Unus ex noviciis servulis subito accurrit et mihi 
dominum iratissimum esse afnrmavit, quod biduo iam 
- officio defuissem. Recte ergo me facturum, si excusa- 
tionem aliquam idoneam praeparassem. Vix enim 
posse fieri, ut rabies irascentis sine verbere consi- 
deret ... 
140 Matrona inter primas honesta, Philomela nomine, 
quae multas saepe hereditates officio aetatis extorserat, 
turn anus et floris exstincti, filium filiamque ingerebat 
orbis senibus, et per hanc successionem artem suam 
perseverabat extendere. Ea ergo ad Eumolpum venit 
et commendare liberos suos eius prudentiae bonita- 
tique . . . credere se et vota sua. Ilium esse solum in 
toto orbe terrarum, qui praeceptis etiam salubribus 
instruere iuvenes quotidie posset. Ad summam, relin- 
quere se pueros in domo Eumolpi, ut ilium loquentem 
audirent . . . quae sola posset hereditas iuvenibus dari. 
Necaliter fecit ac dixerat, filiamque speciosissimam cum 
fratre ephebo in cubiculo reliquit simulavitque se in tem- 
plum ire ad vota nuncupanda. Eumolpus, qui tarn frugi 
erat ut illi etiam ego puer viderer, non distulit puellam 
invitare ad pigiciaca 1 sacra. Sed et podagricum se esse 
lumborumque solutorum omnibus dixerat, et si non 
servasset integram simulationem, periclitabatur totam 
paene tragoediam evertere. Itaque ut constaret 
mendacio fides, puellam quidem exoravit, ut sederet 
super commendatam bonitatem, Coraci autem impe- 
ravit, ut lectum, in quo ipse iacebat, subiret positisque 
1 pugesiaca margin ofL, 
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SATYRICON 

I had not finished grumbling, when Chrysis came 
in, ran up and warmly embraced me, and said, "Now 
I have you as I hoped ; you are my desire, my pleasure, 
you will never put out this flame unless you quench it 
in my blood." . . . 

One of the new slaves suddenly ran up and said 
that my master was furious with me because I had 
now been away from work two days. The best thing 
I could do would be to get ready some suitable excuse. 
It was hardly possible that his savage wrath would 
abate without a flogging for me. . . . 

Matrona inter primas honesta, Philomela nomine, 140 
quae multas saepe hereditates officio aetatis extorserat, 
turn anus et floris extincti, filium filiamque ingerebat 
orbis senibus, et per hanc successionem artem suam 
perseverabat extendere. Ea ergo ad Eumolpum venit 
et commendare liberos suos eius prudentiae bonita- 
tique . . . credere se et vota sua. Ilium esse solum in 
toto orbe terrarum, qui praeceptis etiam salubribus 
instruere iuvenes quotidie posset. Ad summam, relin- 
quere se pueros in domo Eumolpi, ut ilium loquehtem 
audirent . . . quae sola posset hereditas iuvenibus dari. 
Nee aliter fecit acdixerat, filiamque speciosissimam cum 
fratre ephebo in cubiculo reliquit simulavitque se in tem- 
plum ire ad vota nuncupanda. Eumolpus, qui tarn frugi 
erat ut illi etiam ego puer viderer, non distulit puellam 
invitare ad pigiciaca 1 sacra. Sed et podagricum se esse 
lumborumque solutorum omnibus dixerat, et si non 
servasset integram simulationem, periclitabatur totam 
paene tragoediam evertere. Itaque ut constaret 
mendacio fides, puellam quidem exoravit, ut sederet 
super commendatam bonitatem, Coraci autem impe- 
ravit, ut lectum, in quo ipse iacebat, subiret positisque 

317 



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TITUS PETRON4US ARBITER 

in pavimento manibus dominum lumbis suis commo- 
veret. Ille lente 1 parebat imperio puellaeque artificium 
pari motu remunerabat. Cum ergo res ad effectum 
spectaret, clara Eumolpus voce exhortabatur Coraca, 
ut spissaret officium. Sic inter mercennarium ami- 
camque positus senex veluti oscillatione ludebat. Hoc 
semel iterumque ingenti risu, etiam suo, Eumolpus 
fecerat. Itaque ego quoque, ne desidia consuetudinem 
perderem, dum frater sororis suae automata per clo- 
stellum miratur, accessi temptaturus, an pateretur 
iniuriam. Nee se reiciebat a blanditiis doctissimus 
puer, sed me numen inimicum ibi quoque invenit . . . 
Dii maiores sunt; qui me restituerunt in integrum. 
Mercurius enim, qui animas ducere et reducere solet, 
suis beneficiis reddidit mihi, quod manus irata praeci- 
derat, ut scias me gratiosiorem esse quam Protesilaum 
aut quemquam alium antiquorum." Haec locutus 
sustuli tunicam Eumolpoque me totum approbavi. At 
ille primo exhorruit, deinde ut plurimum crederet, 
utraque manu deorum beneficia tractat . . . 

' Socrates, deorum hominumque . . ., gloriari solebat, 
quod nunquam neque in tabernam conspexerat nee 
ullius turbae frequentioris concilio oculos suos credi- 
derat. Adeo nihil est commodius quam semper cum 
sapientia loqui." 

Omnia" inquam ista vera sunt; nee ulli enim 
celerius homines incidere debent in malam fortunam, 
quam qui alienum concupiscunt. Unde plani autem, 
unde levatores viverent, nisi aut locellos aut sonantes 
aere sacellos pro hamis in turbam mitterent? Sicut 
muta animalia cibo inescantur, sic homines non cape- 
rentur nisi spei aliquid morderent" , . . 

1 lente Scioppius : lento. 
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SATYRICON 

iii pavimento manibus dominum lumbis suis commo- 
veret. Ille lente parebat imperio puellaeque artificium 
pari motu remunerabat. Cum ergo res ad effectum 
spectaret, clara Eumolpus voce exhortabatur Coraca, 
ut spissaret officium. Sic inter mercennarium ami- 
camque positus senex veluti oscillatioiie ludebat. Hoc 
semel iterumque ingenti risu, etiam suo, Eumolpus 
fecerat. Itaque ego quoque, ne desidia consuetudinem 
perderem, dum frater sororis suae automata per clo- 
stellum miratur, accessi temptaturus, an pateretur 
iniuriam. Nee se reiciebat a blanditiis doctissimus 
puer, sed me numen inimicum ibi quoque invenit . . . 

" Dii maiores sunt, qui me restituerunt in integrum. 
Mercurius enim, qui animas ducere et reducere solet, 
suis beneficiis reddidit mihi, quod manus irata praeci- 
derat, ut scias me gratiosiorem esse quam Protesilaum * 
aut quemquam alium antiquorum." Haec locutus 
sustuli tunicam Eumolpoque me totum approbavi. At 
ille primo exhorruit, deinde ut plurimum crederet, 
utraque manu deorum beneficia tractat ... 

Socrates, the friend of God and man, used to 
boast that he had never peeped into a shop, or allowed 
his eyes to rest on any large crowd. So nothing is 
more blessed than always to converse with wis- 
dom." 

" All that is very true," I said, and no one deserves 
to fall into misery sooner than the covetous. But how 
would cheats or pickpockets live, if they did not ex- 
pose little boxes or purses jingling with money, like 
hooks, to collect a crowd? Just as dumb creatures 
are snared by food, human beings would not be caught 
unless they had a nibble of hope." . . . 

1 He was allowed to revisit earth after death. See Words- 
worth's Laodamta, 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
141 Ex Africa navis, ut promiseras, cum pecunia tua et 

familia non venit. Captatores iam exhausti liberali- 
tatem imminuernnt. Itaque aut fallor, aut fortuna 
communis coepit redire ad paenitentiam tuam" 1 . . . 

Omnes, qui in testamento meo legata habent, 
praeter libertos meos hac condicione percipient, quae 
dedi, si corpus meum in partes conciderint et astante 
populo comederint" . . . 

Apud quasdam gentes scimus adhuc legem servari, 
ut a propinquis suis consumantur defuncti, adeo qui- 
dem, ut obiurgentur aegri frequenter, quod carnem 
suam faciant peiorem. His admoneo amicos meos, ne 
recusent quae iubeo, sed quibus animis devoverint 
spiritum meum, eisdem etiam corpus consumant" . . . 
Excaecabat pecuniae ingens fama oculos animosque 
miserorum. 

Gorgia paratus erat exsequi . . . 

De stomachi tui recusatione non habeo quod 
timeam. Sequetur imperium, si promiseris illi pro 
unius horae fastidio multorum bonorum pensationem. 
Operi modo oculos et finge te non humana viscera sed 
centies sestertium comesse. Accedit hue, quod aliqua 
inveniemus blandimenta, quibus saporem mutemus. 
Neque enim ulla caro per se placet, sed arte quadam 
corrumpitur et stomacho conciliatur averso. Quod si 
exemplis quoque vis probari consilium, Saguntini 
oppressi ab Hannibale humanas edere carnes, nee 

' Huam Busch : suam. 

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SATYRICON 

The ship from Africa with your money and slaves 141 
that you promised does not arrive. The fortune- 
hunters are tired out, and their generosity is shrinking. 
So that unless I am mistaken, our usual luck is on its 
way back to punish you." . . . 

All those who come into money under my will, 
except my own children, will get what I have left 
them on one condition, that they cut my body in 
pieces and eat it up in sight of the crowd." . . . 

We know that in some countries a law is still 
observed, that dead people shall be eaten by their 
relations, and the result is that sick people are often 
blamed for spoiling their own flesh. So I warn my 
friends not to disobey my orders, but to eat my body 
as heartily as they damned my soul." . . . 

His great reputation for wealth dulled the eyes and 
brains of the fools. Gorgias was ready to manage 
the funeral. . . . 

" I am not at all afraid of your stomach turning. You 
will get it under control if you promise to repay it 
for one unpleasant hour with heaps of good things. 
Just shut your eyes and dream you are eating up a 
solid million instead of human flesh. Besides, we shall 
find some kind of sauce which will take the taste 
away. No flesh at all is pleasant in itself, it has to 
be artificially disguised and reconciled to the unwilling 
digestion. But if you wish the plan to be supported 
by precedents, the people of Saguntum, 1 when Hannibal 
besieged them, ate human flesh without any legacy in 
1 Saguntum fell in 218 B.C. after an eight months' siege. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 
hereditatem exspectabant. Petelini 1 idem fecerunt in 
ultima fame, nee quicquam aliud in hac epulatione 
captabant, nisi tantum ne esurirent. Cum esset 
Numantia a Scipione capta, inventae sunt matres, 
quae liberorum suorum tenerent semesa in sinu cor- 
pora" . . . 

1 Petelini Puteanus: Petavii. 



322 



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SATYRICON 

prospect. The people of Petelia 1 did likewise in the 
extremities of famine, and gained nothing by the diet, 
except of course that they were no longer hungry. 
And when Numantia was stormed by Scipio, 2 some 
women were found with the half-eaten bodies of their 
children hidden in their bosoms." . . . 

1 A town in the territory of the Bruttii, who were subdued 
by Rome in the 3rd century B.C. 

* In 133 B.C. after fifteen months' blockade. The fall of the 
city established the supremacy of Rome in Spain. 



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FRAGMENTA 

I 

Servius ad Fergili Aen. Ill 57 : auri sacra fames] 
sacra id est execrabilis. Tractus est autem sermo ex 
more Gallorum. Nam Massilienses quotiens pesti- 
lentia laborabant, unus se ex pauperibus offerebat 
alendus anno integro publicis sumptibus et purioribus 
cibis. Hie postea ornatus verbenis et vestibus sacris 
circumducebatur per totam civitatem cum exsecratio- 
nibus, ut in ipsum reciderent mala totius civitatis, et 
sic proiciebatur. Hoc autem in Petronio tectum est 



II 

Servius ad Vergili Aen. XII 159 defeminino nominum 
in tor exeuntium genere : Si autem a verbo non vene- 
rint, communia sunt. Nam similiter et masculina et 
feminina in tor exeunt, ut hie et haec senator, hie et 
haec balneator, licet Petronius usurpaverit "balnea- 
tricem" dicens 



III 

Pseudacro ad Horati epod. 5, J+8: Canidia rodens 
pollicem] habitum et motum Canidiae expressit 
furentis. Petronius ut monstraret furentem, " pollice ' ' 
ait usque ad periculum roso" 
324 



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FRAGMENTS 

I 

Servius on Virgil, Aeneid HI, 57: "The sacred hun- 
ger for gold." Sacred" means ' accursed." This 
expression is derived from a Gallic custom. For 
whenever the people of Massilia were burdened with 
pestilence, one of the poor would volunteer to be fed 
for an entire year out of public funds on food of 
special purity. After this period he would be decked 
with sacred herbs and sacred robes, and would be led 
through the whole state while people cursed him, in 
order that the sufferings of the whole state might fall 
upon him, and so he would be cast out. This account 
has been given in Petronius. 

II 

Servius on Virgil, Aeneid XII, 159, on the feminine 
gender of nouns ending in -tor: But if they are not 
derived from a verb they are common in gender. For 
in these cases both the masculine and the feminine 
end alike in -tor, for example, senator, a male or female 
senator, balneator, a male or female bath attendant, 
though Petronius makes an exception in speaking of 
a bath-woman' {balneatricem). 

Ill 

Pseud- Aero on Horace, Epodes 5, J^8 : Canidia 
biting her thumb " : He expressed the appearance 
and movements of Canidia in a rage. Petronius, 
wishing to portray a furious person, says ' biting his 
thumb to the quick" 

325 



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FRAGMENTA 

IV 

Sidonius Apollinaris carminis XXIII: 

quid vos eloquii canam Latini, 
Arpinas, Patavine, Mantuane? — 
Et te Massiliensium per hortos 
sacri stipitis, Arbiter, colonum 
Hellespontiaco parem Priapo? 

V 

Prisciamis institutionum VIII 16 p. 881 et XI 29 
p. 567 Hertzii inter exempla quibus deponentium verbo- 
rum participia praeteriti temporis passivam significationem 
habere declared : Petronius "animam nostro amplexam 
pectore " 

v b 

Boethius in Porphyrium a Victorino translatum dialogo 
II extremo p. 1^5 exemplarium BasiUensium : Ego faciam, 
inquit, libentissime. Sed quoniam iam matutinus, ut 
ait Petronius, sol tectis arrisit, surgamus, et si quid 
est illud, diligentiore postea consideratione tracta- 
bitur 

VI* 

Fulgentius mytkohgiarum I p. 28 Munckeri : Nescis 
. . . quantum saturam matronae formident. Licet 
mulierum verbialibus undis et causidici cedant nee 
grammatici muttiant, rhetor taceat et clamorem 
praeco compescat, sola est quae modum imponit 
furentibus, licet Petroniana subet Albucia 
326 



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FRAGMENTS 

IV 
Sidonius ApolUnaris Carmen XXIII, U5, 166 : Why 
should I hymn you, tuneful Latin writers, thou of 
Arpinum, thou of Patavium, thou of Mantua? 1 And 
thou, Arbiter, who in the gardens of the men of 
Massilia findest a home on the hallowed tree-trunk 
as the peer of Hellespontine Priapus? 

V 

Priscian Institutiones VIII, 16 and XI, 29 (pp. 881, 
667 ed. Hertz) among the examples by which he shows 
that the past participles of deponent verbs have a passive 
meaning: Petronius, "the soul locked (amplexam) in our 
bosoms." 

v b 

Boethius on Victorinus*s translation of Porphyry, Dia- 
logue II (p. Jf5 ed. Basle) : I shall be very glad to do 
it, he said. But since the morning sun, in Petronius's 
words, has now smiled upon the roofs, let us get up, and 
if there is any other point, it shall be treated later 
with more careful attention. 

VI 

Fulgentius Mythologiae I (p. 23 ed. Muncker) : You 
do not know . . . how women dread satire. Lawyers 
may retreat and scholars may not utter a syllable 
before the flood of a woman's words, the rhetorician 
may be dumb and the herald may stop his cries ; 
satire alone can put a limit to their madness, though 
it be Petronius's Albucia who is hot. 

1 The writers are Cicero, Livy, Virgil. 

327 



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FRAGMENTA 

VII* 

Fulgentius mytkoiogiarum III 8 p. 124 «& sucum 
myrrhae valde fervidum esse dixit : Unde et Petronius 
Arbiter ad libidinis concitamentum myrrhinum se 
poculum bibisse refert 

VIII* 

Fulgentius in expositione Virgilianae continentiae p. 156: 
Tricerberi enim fabulam iam superius exposuimus in 
modum iurgii forensisque litigii positam. Unde et 
Petronius in Euscion ait " Cerberus forensis erat 
causidicus" 

IX* 

Fulgentius in expositione sermonum antiquorum J$ 
p. 565 Merceri: Ferculum dicitur missum carnium. 
Unde et Petronius Arbiter ait "postquam ferculum 
allatum est" 

X* 

Fulgentius ibidem Jfi p. 565 : Valgia vero sunt label- 
lorum obtortiones in supinatione factae. Sicut et 
Petronius ait obtorto valgiter labello" 

XI* 

Fulgentius ibidem 52 p. 566: Alucinare dicitur vana 
somniari, tractum ab alucitis, quos nos conopes dici- 
mus. Sicut Petronius Arbiter ait nam contubernalem 
alucitae molestabant ,> 
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FRAGMENTS 

VII 

Fulgentius Mythologiae III, 8 (p. 124), (where he 
remarked that essence of myrrh is very strong) : hence 
too Petronius Arbiter says that he drank a cup of 
myrrh in order to excite his passion. 

VIII 

Fulgentius in his Treatise on the Contents of Virgil s 
works (p. 156) : For we have already explained above 
the application of the myth of Cerberus with Three 
Heads to quarrels and litigation in the courts. Hence 
too Petronius says of Euscios, The barrister was a 
Cerberus of the courts." 

IX 

Fulgentius in his Explanation of Old Words, 4® (p. 
565 in Mercer s edition) : Ferculum means a dish of 
flesh. Hence too Petronius Arbiter says, "After the 
dish of flesh (feradum) was brought in." 

X 

Fulgentius ibid. 46 (p. 565) : Valgia £ally means 
the twisting of the lips which occurs in vomiting. 
As Petronius also says, With lips twisted as in a vomit 
(valgiter)." 

XI 
Fulgentius ibid. 52 (p. 566) : Alucinare means to 
dream falsely, and is derived from alucitae, which we 
call conopes (mosquitoes). As Petronius Arbiter says, 
" For the mosquitoes {alucitae) were troubling my com- 
panion." 

329 



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FRAGMENTA 

XII* 
Fulgentius ibidem 60 p. 567: Manubiae dicuntur 
ornamenta regum. Unde et Petronius Arbiter ait 
' tot regum manubiae penes fugitivum repertae " 

XIII* 

Fulgentius ibidem 61 p. 567: Aumatium dicitur locum 
secretum publicum sicut in theatris aut in circo. 
Unde et Petronius Arbiter ait in aumatium memet 
ipsum conieci" 

XIV 

Isidorus originum V 26, 7 : Dolus est mentis calliditas 
ab eo quod deludat : aliud enim agit, aliud simulat 
Petronius aliter existimat dicens "quid est, iudices, 
dolus ? Nimirum ubi aliquid factum est quod legi dolet 
Habetis dolum : accipite nunc malum" 

XV 

Glossarium S. Dionysii: Petaurus genus ludi. Petro- 
nius petauroque iubente modo superior." 

*<: XVI 

Petronius satis constaret eos nisi inclinatos non 
solere transire cryptam Neapolitanam " ex glossario S. 
Dionysii. 

XVII* 1 
In alio glossario : 

Suppes suppumpis, hoc est supinis pedibus. 
Tullia, media vel regia. 

'Wrongly attributed to Petronius by Pithoeus through 
misunderstanding a marginal note of Scaliger. 
330 



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FRAGMENTS 

XII 

Fulgentius ibid, 60 (p. 567) : Manubiae means the 
ornaments of kings. Hence Petronius Arbiter also 
says, " So many kingly ornaments (manubiae) found in the 
possession of a runaway" 

XIII 

Fulgentius ibid. 61 (p. 567) : Aumatium means a 
private place in a public spot such as theatres or the 
circus. Hence Petronius Arbiter also says, I hurled 
myself into the privy-place (aumatium).'* 

XIV 

Isidorus Origines V, 26, 7 : Dolus 1 is the mental 
cunning on the part of the deceiver : for he does one 
thing and pretends another. Petronius takes a dif- 
ferent view when he says, " What is a wrong (dolus), 
gentlemen ? It occurs whenever anything offensive to the 
law is done. You understand what a wrong is: now take 
damage . . ." Y v 

Glossary of St. Dionysius : The spring-board is a 
kind of game. Petronius, ' Now lifted high at the will 
of the spring-board." 

XVI 

From the Glossary of St. Dionysius : Petronius, " It 
was quite certainly their usual plan to go through the Grotto 
of Naples only with backs bent double." 

Another Glossary : 

Suppes suppumpis. that is with feet bent bachvards. 
Tullia, mediator (?) or princess. 
1 Dolus originally meant a device without moral connota- 
tion ; hence the legal term for fraud was dolus mains, and 
the use of dolus alone in a bad sense is later. 

331 



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FRAGMENTA 

XVIII* 

Nicolaus Perottus Cornu copiae p. 200, 26 ediUonis 
Aldinae anni ISIS: Cosmus etiam excellens unguen- 
tarius fuit, a quo unguenta dicta sunt Cosmiana. idem 
[iuvenalis 8, 86] "et Cosmi toto mergatur aheno." 
Petronius ' affer nobis, inquit, alabastrum Cosmiani" 



XIX 

Terentianus Maurus de metris : 

Horatium videmus 

versus tenoris huius 

nusquam locasse iuges, 

at Arbiter disertus 

libris suis frequentat. 

Agnoscere haec potestis, 

can tare quae solemus : 
Memphitides puellae 

sacris deum paratae. 

Tinctus colore noctis 

manu puer loquaci" 
Marius Victorinus HI 17 (in Keilii grammaticis VI p. 
188) : Huius tenoris ac formae quosdam versus poetas 
lyricos carminibus suis indidisse cognoyimus, ut et apud 
Arbitrum invenimus, cuius exemplum 

" Memphitides puellae 

sacris deum paratae." 

"Tinctus colore noctis 

Aegyptias choreas" 
332 



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FRAGMENTS 

XVIII 

Nicolaus Perottus in the Cornucopia (p. 200, 26 in the 
Aldine Edition of 1518) : Cosmus too was a superb 
perfumer, and ointments are called Cosmian after him. 
The same writer (Juvenal 8, 86) says, " and let him 
be plunged deep in a bronze vase of Cosmus." 
Petronius, Bring us, he said, an alabaster box of 
Cosmus ointment.'* 

XIX 

Terentianus Maurus on Metre : 

We see that Horace nowhere employed verse of 
this rhythm continuously, but the learned Arbiter 
uses it often in his works. You will remember these 
lines, which we are used to sing : The maidens of 
Memphis, made ready for the rites of the Gods. The boy 
coloured deep as the night with speaking gestures." 



Marius Victorinus HI, 17{Keil, Grammaticiy VI, 188): 
We know that the lyric poets inserted some lines of 
this rhythm and form in their works, as we find too 
in Arbiter, for example : The maidens of Memphis, 
made ready for the rites of the Gods," and again 
" Coloured deep as the night, [dancing] Egyptian dances." 



333 



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FRAGMENTA 

XX 

Terentianus Mourns de metris : 

Nunc divisio, quam loquemur, edet 
metrum, quo memorant Anacreonta 
dulces composuisse cantilenas. 
Hoc Petronius invenitur usus, 
Musis cum lyricum refert eundem 
consonantia verba cantitasse, 
et plures alii. Sed iste versus 
quali compositus tome sit, edam. 

Iuverunt segetes meum laborem." 
" Iuverunt " caput est id hexametri — 
quod restat segetes meum laborem," 
tale est ceu " triplici vides ut ortu 
Triviae rotetur ignis 
volucrique Phoebus axe 
rapidum pererret orbem " 

XXI 

Diomedes in arte III p. 518 Keilii: Et illud hinc est 
comma quod Arbiter fecit tale 
" Anus recocta vino 
trementibus labellis" 

XXII 

Servius in artem Donati p. 432,22 Keilii :■ Item Qui- 
rites dicit numero tan turn plurali. Sed legimus apud 
Horatium hunc Quiritem, ut sit nominativus hie 
334 



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FRAGMENTS 

XX 

Terentianus Maurus on Metre : 

Now the analysis, which we will explain, will give 
us the metre in which they say that Anacreon wrote 
his sweet old songs. We find that Petronius, as well 
as many others, used this metre, when he says that 
this same lyric poet sang in words harmonious to the 
Muses. But I will explain with what kind of caesura 
this verse is written. In the line ' Iuverunt segetes 
meum labor em" ( The cornfields have lightened my 
labour"), the word iuverunt" is the beginning of a 
hexameter: the remaining words "segetes meum 
laborem " are in the same metre as 

tripUci vides ut ortu 

Triviae rotetur ignis 

volucrique Phoebus axe 

rapidum pererret orbem " 
( You see how the fire of Trivia spins round from her 
threefold rising* and Phoebus on his winged wheel traverses 
the hurrying globe ".) 

XXI 

Diomede on Grammar III (Keilp. 518) : Hence arises 
the caesura which Arbiter employed thus : 
Anus recocta vino 
trementibus labelUs" 
( An old woman soaked in wine, with trembling lips'*) 

XXII 
Servius on the Grammar of Donatus (Keil p. Jf£2, 22) : 
Again, he uses Quirites" Roman citizens") only in 
the plural number. But we read in Horace the accusa- 
tive hunc Quiritem" ( this Roman citizen") making 
1 I.e. as the new, the full, or the waning moon. 

335 



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FRAGMENTA 

Quiris. Item idem Horatius quis te Quiritem?" cuius 
nominativus erit hie Quirites, ut dicit Petronius 

Pompeius in commento artis Donatip. 167, 9 K: Nemo 
dicit ' hie Quirites" sed ' hi Quirites," licet legeri- 
mus hoc. Legite in Petronio, et invenietis de nomi- 
nativo singulari hoc factum. Et ait Petronius "hie 
Quirites " 

XXIII 
grammaticus de dubiis nominibus p. 578,28 K ; Fretum 
generis neutri et pluraliter freta, ut Petronius "freta 
Nereidum" 

XXIV* 
Hieronymus in epistula ad Demetriadem CXXX 19 
p. 995 Vallarsii : Cincinnatulos pueros et calamistratos 
et peregrini muris olentes pelliculas, de quibus illud 
Arbitri est 

"Non bene olet qui bene semper olet/' 
quasi quasdam pestes et venena pudicitiae virgo devitet 

XXV* 
Fulgentius mytkologiarum II 6 p. 80 de Prometheo: 
Quamvis Nicagoras . . . quod vulturi iecur praebeat, 
livoris quasi pingat imaginem. Unde et Petronius 
Arbiter ait 

qui voltur iecur intimum pererrat 
et pectus trahit intimasque fibras, 
non est quern lepidi vocant poetae, 
sed cordis mala, livor atque luxus" 
336 



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FRAGMENTS 

the nominative "hie Quiris." Again, the same 
Horace says "Quis te Quiritem?" and there the 
nominative will be hie Quirites," as Petronius says. 
Pompeius in his Commentary on the Art of Donatus 
(Keil p. 167, 9): No one says this Roman citizen," 
but these Roman citizens/' although we find the 
former in books. Read Petronius, and you will find 
this use of the nominative singular. And Petronius 
says "Hie Quirites" (' this Roman citizen)" 

XXIII 
A Grammarian on Nouns of uncertain gender {Keil 
p. 678, 23): Fretum ("a strait") is of the neuter 
gender, and its plural is freta, as Petronius says 
6 Freta Nereidum" ("The straits of the Nereids"). 

XXIV 
Hieronymus in his Letter to Demetriades CXXX, 19 
(Fallarsius p. 995) : Boys with hair curled and crimped 
and skins smelling like foreign musk-rats, about whom 
Arbiter wrote the line, To smell good always is not to 
smell good," l showing how the virgin may avoid certain 
plagues and poisons of modesty. 



XXV 

Fulgentius Mythologiae II, 6 {p. 80, on Prometheus) : 
Although Nicagoras . . . represents his yielding his liver 
to a vulture, as an allegorical picture of envy. Hence 
too Petronius Arbiter says : " The vulture who explores our 
inmost liver, and drags out our heart and inmost nerves, 
is not the bird of whom our dainty poets talk, but those 
diseases of the soul, envy and wantonness" 

*The line occurs in Martial 2, 12, 4. The reference to 
Petronius may be due to a confusion with ch. 2, 1. I. 

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INTRODUCTION 

Of the poems which follow, 1-17 are found in the 
cod. Vossianus L. Q. 86, a MS. of the 9th century. 
They follow a number of epigrams attributed to 
Seneca and are not attributed by the MS. to Petronius. 
But 3, 1 and 1 3, 6-9 are quoted by Fulgentius (myth. 
I, 1, p. 31 and III, 9, p. 126) as from Petronius, while 
the general resemblance to Petronius led Scaliger to 
attribute the remainder to the same author. Though 
absolute proof of the correctness of this attribution 
is lacking, most readers will feel little doubt that 
Scaliger was right.. 

1 8-29 1 were contained in a MS. once at Beauvais and 
now lost. The contents of this codex Bellovacensis 
were published by Claude Binet in 1 579. The last two 
poems were not, according to Binet, given to Petro- 
nius by the MS., and I have included them with 
some hesitation. But as Binet saw, the resemblance 
to the style and tone of Petronius is considerable, 
and they are therefore given here. The six poems 
which followed in this MS. are given by Baehrens 
(P.L.M. iv. 103-8) to Petronius. But they have no 
particular affinity with the -work of Petronius, and as 
they have inserted among them in Binet* s book a 
number of poems which are admittedly by Luxorius 
(see Baehrens, op. ciL App. Crit. on P.L.M. iv. 104), 
they are not included here. 

1 No. 20 is also contained in cod. Paris, 10318 (Salma- 
sianus), cod. Vossianus, L.Q. 86, cod. Paris, 8071 (Thua- 
neus). 

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POEMS 

The remaining two poems are found in cod. Vos- 
sianus L.F. Ill, a MS. of the 9th century. They are 
attributed to Petronius by the MS., and follow two 
poems found in the MSS of the novel (c. 14 and c. 
83). Their general resemblance would betray their 
authorship. 

For a discussion of these MSS. see Baehrens, 
Poetae Latini Minores, vol. iv, pp. 1 1, 13 and 19. Also 
p. 36 ff. 

SIGLA 
Cod. Voss. L.Q. 86 **V. 
Cod. Bellovacensis = W. 
Cod. Voss. L.F. 111=£. 

H.E.B. 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

74 Poet hat. Min. iv, ed. Baehrens. 

1 Inveniet quod quisque velit : non omnibus unum est 

quod placet : hie spinas colligit, ille rosas. 

75 P.L.M. 

2 lam nunc algentes autumnus fecerat umbras 1 
atque hiemem tepidis spectabat Phoebus habenis, 
iam platanus iactare comas, iam coeperat uvas 
adnumerare suas defecto palmite vitis : 

ante oculos stabat quidquid promiserat annus. 

76 P.L.M. 

5 Primus in orbe deos fecit timor, ardua caelo 

fulmina cum caderent discussaque moenia flammis 
atque ictus flagraret Athos; mox Phoebus ab ortu 2 
lustrata deuectus humo, Lunaeque senectus 
et reparatus honos ; hinc signa emisa per orbem 
et permutatis disiunctus mensibus annus. 
Profecit 8 vitium iamque error iussit inanis 
agricolas primos Cereri dare messis honores, 
palmitibus plenis Bacchum vincire, Palemque 
pastorum gaudere manu; natat obrutus omnis 4 
Neptunus demersus aqua; Pallasque tabernas 
vindicat ; et voti reus et qui vendidit orbem, 5 
iam sibi quisque deos avido certamine fingit. 

77 P.L.M. 

4 Nolo ego semper idem capiti suffundere costum 
nee noto 6 stomachum conciliare mero. 

1 algentes . . . fecerat Baehrens: ardentes . . . fregerat V. 

2 ab ortu Butler: ad ortus V. 

'profecit anon: proiecit V. % 

4 natat obrutus probably corrupt: portus tenet Buecheler. 

5 orbem perhaps corrupt: orbam Barth : urbem Pithoeus. 

• noto Paulmier : toto V. 

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POEMS 

Every man shall find his own desire ; there is no 1 
one thing which pleases all : one man gathers thorns 
and another roses. 

Now autumn had brought its chill shades, and 2 
Phoebus was looking winterwards with cooler reins. 
Now the plane-tree had begun to shed down her 
leaves, now the young shoots had withered on the 
vine, and she had begun to number her grapes : the 
whole promise of the year was standing before our 
eyes. 

It was fear first created gods in the world, when the 3 
lightning fell from high heaven, and the ramparts of the 
world were rent with flame, and Athos was smitten and 
blazed. Soon 'twas Phoebus sank to earth, after he 
had traversed earth from his rising; the Moon grew 
old and once more renewed her glory ; next the starry 
signs were spread through the firmament, and the 
year divided into changing seasons. The folly spread, 
and soon vain superstition bade the labourer yield to 
Ceres the harvest's chosen firstfruits, and garland 
Bacchus with the fruitful vine, and made Pales to 
rejoice in the shepherd's work ; Neptune swims deep- 
plunged beneath all the waters of the world, Pallas 
watches over shops, and the man who wins his prayer 
or has betrayed the world for gold now strives greedily 
to create gods of his own. 

I would not always steep my head with the same 4 
sweet nard, nor strive to win my stomach with familiar 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

Taurus amat gramen mutata carpere valle 
et fera mutatis sustinet ora cibis. 

Ipsa dies ideo nos grato perluit haustu, 
quod permutatis hora recurrit equis. 



78 P.L.M. 
5 Uxor, legis onus, 1 debet quasi census amari. 

nee censum vellem semper amare meum. 



79 P.L.M. 

Linque tuas sedes alienaque litora quaere, 

o 2 iuvenis: maior rerum tibi nascitur ordo. 

Ne succumbe malis : te noverit ultimus Hister, 

te Boreas gelidus securaque regna Canopi, 

quique renascentem Phoebum cernuntque cadentem : 

maior in externas fit qui 8 descendit harenas. 



80 P.L.M. 

Nam nihil est, quod non mortalibus afferat usum ; 

rebus in adversis quae iacuere iuvant. 
Sic rate demersa fulvum deponderat aurum, 

remorum le vitas naufraga membra vehit. 
Cum sonuere tubae, iugulo stat divite ferrum 

barbaricum : tenuis praebia pannus habet. 4 

1 legis onus Baehrens : inus V. 

a o added by Scaliger, omitted by V, 

8 fit qui Baehrens : itacui V. 

4 barbaricum Baehrens : tenuis Butler: praebia Baehrens : 
barbara contempnit praelia V. y retaining which hebes for 
habet Scaliger. 

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POEMS 

wine. The bull loves to change his valley -pasture, and 
the wild beast maintains his zest by change of food. 
Even to be bathed in the light of day is pleasant only 
because the night-hour races back with altered steeds. 



A wife is a burden imposed by law, and should be 5 
loved like one's fortune. But I do not wish to love 
even my fortune for ever. 



Leave thine home, O youth, and seek out alien 6 
shores : a larger range of life is ordained for thee. Yield 
not to misfortune ; the far-off Danube shall know thee, 
the cold North- wind, and the untroubled kingdoms of 
Canopus, and the men who gaze on the new birth of 
Phoebus or upon his setting : he that disembarks on 
distant sands, becomes thereby the greater man 

For there is naught that may not serve the need of 7 
mortal men, and in adversity despised things kelp us. 
So when a ship sinks, yellow gold weighs down its 
possessor, while a flimsy oar bears up the shipwrecked 
body. When the trumpets sound, the savage's knife 
stands drawn at the rich man's throat ; the poor man's 
rags wear the amulet of safety. 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

81 RL.M. 

8 Parvula securo tegitur mihi culmine sedes 
uvaque plena mero fecunda pendet ab ulmo. 
Dant rami cerasos, dant mala rubentia silvae, 
Palladiumque nemus pingui se vertice frangit. 
lam qua diductos potat levis area fontes, 
Corycium mihi surgit olus maluaeque supinae 
et non sollicitos missura papavera somnos. 
Praeterea sive alitibus contexere fraudem 
seu magis imbelles libuit circumdare cervos 
aut tereti lino pavidum subducere piscem, 
hos tantum novere dolos mea sordida rura. 

I nunc et vitae fugientis tempora vende 

divitibus cenis. Me si manet exitus idem, 

hie precor inveniat consumptaque tempora poscat. 

82 RL.M. 

9 Non satis est quod nos mergit 1 furiosa iuventus 

trans versosque rapit fama sepulta probris? 
En 2 etiam famuli cognataque faece caterva 8 

inter conrasas luxuriantur opes. 4 
Vilis servus habet regni bona, cellaque capti 

deridet Vestam Romuleamque casam. 
Idcirco virtus medio iacet obruta caeno, 

nequitiae classes Candida vela ferunt. 

83 P.L.M. 

10 Sic et membra solent auras includere ventris, 5 
quae penitus mersae cum rursus abire laborant, 

^ergis V, corr. Buecheler, 

2 en L. Mullen an V. 

* caterva Baehrens : sepulti V, 

4 inter conrasas Baehrens: intesta merassas V. 

5 ventis V., corr. Riese. 

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POEMS 

My little house is covered by a roof that fears no 8 
harm, and the grape swollen with wine hangs from the 
fruitful elm. The boughs yield cherries, the orchards 
ruddy apples, and the trees sacred to Pallas 1 break under 
the wealth of their branches. And now where the 
smooth soil drinks from the runnels of the spring, 
Corycian kale springs up for me and creeping mallows, 
and the poppy with promise of untroubled sleep. 
Moreover, if my pleasure is to lay snares for birds, or 
if I choose rather to entrap the timid deer, or draw out 
the quivering fish on slender line, so much deceit is all 
that is known to my humble fields. Go, then, and 
barter the hours of flying life for rich banquets. My 
prayer is that since at the last the same end waits for 
me, it may find me here, here call me to account for 
the time that I have spent. 

Is it not enough that mad youth engulfs us, and 9 
our good name is sunk in reproach and sweeps us 
astray ? Behold ! even bondmen and the rabble that is 
kindred to the mire wanton amid our gathered 
hoards ! The low slave enjoys the treasure of a king- 
dom, and the thrall's room shames Vesta and the cot- 
tage of Romulus. So goodness lies obscured in the 
deep mud, and the fleet of the unrighteous carries 
snowy sails. 

So, too, the body will shut in the belly's wind, 10 
which, when it labours to come forth again from its 
deep dungeon, prizes forth a way by sharp blows : and 

1 The olive, which she gave to Athens. By this gift, which 
the Gods considered more useful than the horse given by 
Poseidon, she became the presiding deity of the city. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

verberibus rimantur iter ; nee desinit ante 
frigidus, adstrictis 1 qui regnat in ossibus, horror 
quam tepidus laxo manavit corpore sudor. 

84P.L.M. 
HO litus vita mihi dulcius, o mare ! felix 

cui licet ad terras ire subinde meas ! 
O formosa dies ! hoc quondam rure solebam 

Naiadas 2 alterna sollicitare manu! 
Hie fontis lacus est, illic sinus egerit algas : 

haec statio est tacitis fida 3 cupidinibus. 
Pervixi ; neque enim fortuna malignior unquam 

eripiet nobis quod prior hora dedit. 

i 

85 P.L.M. 

12 Haec ait et tremulo deduxit vertice canos 
consecuitque genas ; oculis nee defuit imber, 
sed qualis rapitur per vallis improbus amnis, 
cum gelidae periere nives et languidus auster 
non patitur glaciem resoluta vivere terra, 
gurgite sic pleno facies manavit et alto 
insonuit gemitu turbato murmure pectus. 

86 P.L.M. 

1 3 Nam citius flammas mortales ore tenebunt 
quam secreta tegant. Quicquid dimittis in aula, 
effluit et subitis rumoribus oppida pulsat. 

Nee satis est vulgasse fidem. Cumulatius exit 
proditionis opus famamque onerare laborat. 

1 et frigidus strictis V., corr. Reiske. 
* Naiadas Lindenbrog ; Iliadas V. alterna . . . manu B 
armatas . . . manus V. 

3 fida Pithoeus : victa V. 

4 prior hora Scaliger : priora V, 

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POEMS 

there is no end to the cold shiver which rules the 
cramped frame, till a warm sweat bedews and loosens 
the body. 



O sea-shore and sea more sweet to me than life ! 1 1 
Happy am I who may come at once to the lands I 
love. O beauteous day ! In this country long ago I 
used to rouse the Naiads with my hands' alternate 
stroke. Here is the fountain's pool, there the sea 
washes up its weeds : here is a sure haven for quiet 
love. I have had life in full; for never can harder 
fortune take away what was given us in time over- 
past. 

With these words he tore the white hair from his 12 
trembling head, and rent his cheeks; his eyes filled 
with tears, and as the impetuous river sweeps down 
the valleys when the cold snow has perished, and the 
gentle south-wind will not suffer the ice to live on 
the unfettered earth, so was his face wet with a full 
stream, and his heart rang with the troubled murmur 
of deep groaning. 

For sooner will men hold fire in their mouths than 13 
keep a secret. Whatever you let escape you in 
your hall flows forth and beats at city walls in sudden 
rumours. Nor is the breach of faith the end. The 
work of betrayal issues forth with increase, and strives 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

Sic commissa verens* avidus reserare l minister 
fodit humum regisque latentes prodidit aures. 
Concepit nam terra sonos calamique loquentes 
incinuere 2 Midam, qualem narraverat index. 

87 RL.M. 

1 4 Illic alternis depugnat pontus et aer, 

hie rivo tenui pervia ridet humus. 
Illic demersas 3 complorat navita puppes, 

hie pastor miti perluit amne pecus. 
Illic immanes mors obdita 4 solvit hiatus, 

hie gaudet curva falce recisa Ceres. 
Illic inter aquas urit sitis arida fauces, 

hie data periuro 5 basia multa viro. 
Naviget et fluctus lasset mendicus Vlixes, 

in terris vivet Candida Penelope. 

88 P.L.M. 

15 Qui nolit properare 6 mori nee cogere fata 

mollia praecipiti rumpere fila raanu, 
hactenus irarum mare noverit. Ecce refuso 

gurgite securos obluit unda pedes. 
Ecce inter virides iactatur mytilus algas 

et rauco trahitur lubrica concha sinu. 
Ecce recurrentes qua versat fluctus arenas, 

discolor attrita calculus exit humo. 
Haec quisquis calcare potest, in litore tuto 

ludat et hoc solum iudicet esse mare. 
1 verens reserare Fulgentius : ferens . . . seruare V, 

3 incinuere Salmastus: inuenerem V, 
8 demersas Baehrens : dtvisas V. 

4 obdita Baehrens: oblita V. 

6 data Wernsdorfi da V, periuro probably corrupt : per- 
haps quaeque suo Butler, 
•nolit Oudendorp: moluitF. properare Tollius: propare V. 

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POEMS 

to add weight to the report. So was it that the greedy 
slave, who feared to unlock his knowledge, dug in the 
ground and betrayed the secret of the king's hidden 
ears. For the earth brought forth sounds, and the 
whispering reeds sang how Midas was even such an 
one as the tell-tale had revealed. 

There sea and sky struggle and buffet each other, 1 4 
here the tiny stream runs through smooth and smiling 
country. There the sailor laments for his sunken ship, 
here the shepherd dips his flock in the gentle river. 
There death confronts and chokes the vast gape of 
greed, here the earth laughs to lie low before the 
curved sickle. There, with water everywhere, dry 
thirst burns the throat, here kisses are given in plenty 
to faithless man. Let Ulysses go sail and weary the 
waters in beggar's rags : the chaste Penelope dwells 
on land. 

The man that would not haste to die, nor force the 1 5 
Fates to snap the tender threads with impetuous hand, 
should know only this much of the sea's anger. Lo ! 
where the tide flows back, and the wave bathes his 
feet without peril ! Lo ! where the mussel is thrown 
up among the green sea-weed, and the hoarse whorl 
of the slippery shell is rolled along ! Lo ! where the 
wave turns the sands to rush back in the eddy, there 
pebbles of many a hue appear on the wave- worn floor. 
Let the man who may have these things under his 
feet, play safely on the shore, and count this alone to 
be the sea. 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

89 P.L.M. 
\6 Non est forma satis nee quae vult bella videri 1 

debet vulgari more placere sibi. 
Dicta, sales, lusus, sermonis gratia, risus 

vincunt naturae candidioris opus. 
Condit enim formam quicquid consumitur artis, 

et nisi velle 2 subest, gratia nuda perit. 



90 P.L.M. 

17 Sic contra rerum naturae munera notae 

corvus maturis frugibus ova refert. 
Sic format lingua fetum cum protulit ursa 

et piscis nullo iunctus amore parit. 
Sic Phoebea chelys nutu 3 resoluta parentis 

Lucinae tepidis naribus ova fovet. 
Sic sine concubitu textis apis excita ceris 

fervet et audaci milite castra replet. 
Non uno contenta valet natura tenore, 

sed permutatas gaudet habere vices. 

91 P.L.M. 

1 8 Indica purpureo genuit me litore tellus, 

candidus accenso qua redit orbe dies. 
Hie ego divinos inter generatus honores 

mutavi Latio barbara verba sono. 
lam dimitte tuos, Paean o Delphice, eyenos : 

dignior haec vox est, quae tua templa colat 

1 The first couplet is to be found in Fulgentius, Myth, I, 12, 
p. 44. 

2 velle subest probably cortupt: sal suberit Baehrens. 
s nutu Butler : victo IV: vinclo Binetus. 

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POEMS 

Outward beauty is not enough, and the woman who 16 
would appear fair must not be content with any com- 
mon manner. Words, wit, play, sweet talk and laugh- 
ter, surpass the work of too simple nature. For all 
expense of art seasons beauty, and naked loveliness is 
wasted all in vain, if it have not the will to please. 



So, contrary to the known operations of nature, the 1 7 
raven lays her eggs when the crops are ripe. So the 
she-bear shapes her cubs with her tongue, and the 
fish is ignorant of love's embrace, yet brings forth 
young. So the tortoise, sacred to Phoebus, delivered 
by the will of mother Lucina, hatches her eggs with 
the warmth of her nostrils. So the bee, begotten 
without wedlock from the woven cells, throbs with 
life and fills her camp with bold soldiery. The strength 
of nature lies not in holding on one even way, but she 
loves to change the fashion of her laws. 

My 1 birthplace was India's glowing shore, where the 1 8 
day returns in brilliance with fiery orb. Here I was 
born amid the worship of the- gods, and exchanged 
my barbaric speech for the Latin tongue. O healer of 
Delphi, now dismiss thy swans ; here is a voice more 
worthy to dwell within thy temple. 

1 A parrot is speaking*. 
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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

92 P.L.M. 

19 Naufragus eiecta nudus rate quaerit eodem 

percussum telo, cui sua fata fleat. 1 
Grandine qui segetes et totum perdidit annum, 

in simili deflet tristia fata sinu. 
Funera conciliant miseros, orbique parentes 

coniungunt gemitus et facit hora pares. 
Nos quoque confusis feriemus sidera verbis ; 

fama est coniunctas 2 fortius ire preces. 

93 P.L.M. 

20 Aurea mala mihi, dulcis mea Martia, mittis, 

mittis et hirsutae munera castaneae. 
Omnia grata putem, sed si magis ipsa venire 

ornares donum, pulcra puella, tuum. 
Tu licet apportes stringentia mala palatum, 

tristia mandenti est melleus ore sapor. 
At si dissimulas, multum mihi cara, venire, 

oscula cum pomis mitte ; vorabo libens. 

94 P.LM. 

21 Si Phoebi soror es, mando tibi, Delia, causam, 

scilicet ut fratri quae peto verba feras : 
"Marmore Sicanio struxi tibi, Delphice, templum 

et levibus calamis Candida verba dedi. 
Nunc si nos audis atque es divinus, Apollo, 

die mihi, qui nummos non habet, unde petat" 

1 fleat Jacobs: legat W, 

2 fama est coniunctas Butler : et fama est constans W. 

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POEMS 

The sailor, naked from the shipwreck, seeks out a 19 
comrade stricken by the same blow to whom he may 
bewail his fate. The farmer who has lost his crops and 
the whole year's fruits in the hail, weeps his sad lot 
on a bosom wounded like his own. Death draws the 
unhappy together ; bereaved parents utter their groans 
with one voice, and the moment makes them equal. 
We too will strike the stars with words in unison; 
the saying is that prayers travel more strongly when 
united. 

You send me golden apples, my sweet Martia, and 20 
you send me the fruit of the shaggy chestnut. Believe 
me, I would love them all; but should you choose 
rather to come in person, lovely girl, you would 
beautify your gift. Come, if you will, and lay sour 
apples to my tongue, the sharp flavour will be like 
honey as I bite. But if you feign you will not come, 
dearest, send kisses with the apples ; then gladly will 
I devour them. 

If you are sister to Phoebus, Delia, I entrust my 21 
petition to you, that you may carry to your brother 
the words of my prayer. God of Delphi, I have 
built for you a temple of Sicilian marble, and have 
given you fair words of song from a slender pipe of 
reed. Now if you hear us, Apollo, and are indeed 
divine, tell me where a man who has no money is to 
find it." 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

95 P.L.M. 
22 Omnia quae miseras possunt finire querellas, 

in promptu voluit candidus esse deus. 
Vile holus et duns haerentia mora rubetis 

pungentis 1 stomachi composuere famem. 
Flumine vicino stultus sitit, et riget 2 euro 

cum calidus tepido consonat igne focus 8 . 
Lex armata sedet circum fera limina nuptae : 

nil metuit licito fusa puella toro. 
Quod satiare potest dives natura ministrat; 

quod docet infrenis 4 gloria fine caret. 



96 P.L.M. 

23 Militis in galea nidum fecere columbae : 

apparet Marti quam sit arnica Venus. 

97 P.L.M. 

24 Iudaeus licet et porcinum numen adoret 

et caeli summas advocet auriculas, 
ni tamen et ferro succiderit inguinis oram 

et nisi nodatum solvent arte caput, 
exemptus populo sacra 5 raigrabit ab urbe 

et non ieiuna sabbata lege premet. 6 



98 P.L.M. 



25 Una est nobilitas argumentumque colons 
ingenui timidas non habuisse manus. 

1 pungentis Dousa : pugnantis W, 
2 et riget Binet : effugit W. 

8 focus Buecheler : rogus W. 
4 infrenis Binet: inferius W, 

9 sacra Baehrens : graia W. 

6 premet JV., perhaps corrupt : tremet Buecheler. 

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POEMS 

Honest Heaven ordained that all things which can 22 
end our wretched complaints should be ready to hand. 
Common green herbs and the berries that grow on 
rough brambles allay the gnawing hunger of the belly. 
A fool is he who goes thirsty with a river close by, 
and shivers in the east wind while a blazing fire roars 
on the warm hearth. The law sits armed by the 
threshold of a wanton bride ; the girl who lies on a 
lawful bed knows no fear. The wealth of nature gives 
us enough for our fill: that which unbridled vanity 
teaches us to pursue has no end to it. 



Doves have made a nest in the soldier's helmet: 23 
see how Venus loveth Mars. 



The Jew may worship his pig-god and clamour in 24 
the ears pf high heaven, but unless he also cuts back 
his foreskin with the knife, he shall go forth from the 
holy city cast forth from the people, and transgress 
the sabbath by breaking the law of fasting. 



This is the one nobility and proof of honourable 25 
estate, that a man's hands have shown no fear. 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

99 RL.M. 

26 Lecto compositus vix prima silentia noctis 

carpebam et somno lumina victa dabam, 
cum me savus Amor prensat 1 sursumque capillis 

excitat et lacerum pervigilare iubet. 
"Tu famulus meus," inquit, ' ames cum mille puellas, 

solus, io, solus, dure, iacere potes?" 
Exsilio et pedibus nudis tunicaque soluta 

omne iter ingredior, 2 nullum iter expedio. 
Nunc propero, nunc ire piget, rursumque redire 

paenitet, et pudor est stare via media. 
Ecce tacent voces hominum strepitusque viarum 

et volucrum cantus fidaque turba canum; 
solus ego ex cunctis paveo somnumque torumque, 

et sequor imperium, magne Cupido, tuum. 

100 P.L.M. 

27 Sit nox ilia diu nobis dilecta, Nealce, 

quae te prima meo pectore composuit : 
sit torus et lecti genius secretaque lampas, 8 

quis tenera in nostrum veneris arbitrium. 
Ergo age duremus, quamvis adoleverit aetas, 

utamurque annis quos mora parva teret. 
Fas et iura sinunt veteres extendere amores ; 

fac cito quod coeptum est, non cito desinere. 

101 P.L.M. 

28 Foeda est in coitu et brevis voluptas 
et taedet Veneris statim peractae. 
Non ergo ut pecudes libidinosae 
caeci protinus irruamus illuc 

(nam languescit amor peritque flamma) ; 

1 prensat Oudendorp : prensum W. 

2 ingredior Riese : impedio W. 
8 lampas Buecheler : longa W. 

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POEMS 

At rest in bed, I had scarce begun to enjoy the first 26 
silence of night, and to give up my conquered eyes 
to sleep, when fierce Love took hold of me and drew 
me up by the hair, and tore me, bidding me watch 
till day. "Ah, my slave," he said, "thou lover of 
a thousand girls, canst thou lie alone here, alone, oh 
hard of heart?" I leaped up, and with bare feet and 
disordered raiment started on every path and found 
a way by none. Now I run, now to move is weariness: 
I repent of turning back, and am ashamed to halt in 
the midst of the road. Lo, the voices of men and the 
roar of the streets, the singing of birds and the faith- 
ful company of watchdogs are all silent. I alone of all 
men dread both sleep and my bed, and follow thy 
command, great Lord of desire. 

Long may that night be dear to us, Nealce, that 27 
first laid you to rest upon my heart. Dear be the 
bed and the genius of the couch, and the silent lamp 
that saw you come softly to do our pleasure. Come, 
then, let us endure though we have grown older, and 
employ the years which a brief delay will blot out. 
It-.is lawful and right to prolong an old love : grant 
that what we began in haste may not hastily be 
ended. 

The pleasure of the act of love is gross and brief, 28 
and love once consummated brings loathing after it. 
Let us then not rush blindly thither straightway like 
lustful beasts, for love sickens and the flame dies 
down ; but even so, even so, let us keep eternal holi- 



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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

sed sic sic sine fine feriati 
et tecum iaceamus osculantes. 
Hie nullus labor est ruborque nullus : 
hoc iuvit, iuvat et diu iuvabit ; 
hoc non deficit incipitque semper. 

102 P.L.M. 

29 Accusare et amare tempore uno 
ipsi vix fuit Herculi ferendum. 

120 P.L.M. 

30 Fallunt nos oculi vagique sensus 
oppressa ratione mentiuntur. 

Nam turris prope quae quadrata surgit, 
detritis procul angulis rotatur. 
Hyblaeum refugit satur liquorem 
et naris casiam frequenter odit. 
Hoc illo magis aut minus placere 
non posset nisi lite destinata 
pugnarent dubio tenore sensus. 

121 P.L.M. 

31 Somnia quae mentes ludunt volitantibus umbris, 
non delubra deum nee ab aethere numina mittunt, 
sed sibi quisque facit. Nam cum prostrata sopore 
urget membra quies et mens sine pondere ludit, 
quidquid luce fuit tenebris agit. Oppida bello 
qui quatit et flammis miserandas eruit urbes, 

tela videt versasque acies et funera regum 
atque exundantes profuso sanguine campos. 
Qui causas orare solent, legesque forumque 
et pavidi cernunt inclusum chorte 1 tribunal. 
Condit avarus opes defossumque invenit aurum. 

1 chorte Mommsen : corde E. 
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POEMS 

day, and lie with thy lips to mine. No toil is here and 
no shame : in this, delight has been, and is, and long 
shall be ; in this there is no diminution, but a begin- 
ning everlastingly. 



To love and accuse at one time were a labour 29 
Hercules himself could scarce have borne. 

Our eyes deceive us, and our wandering senses 30 
weigh down our reason and tell us falsehoods. For 
the tower which stands almost four-square has its 
corners blunted at a distance and . becomes rounded. 
The full stomach turns from the honey of Hybla, and 
the nose often hates the scent of cinnamon. One 
thing could not please us more or less than another, 
unless the senses strove in set conflict with wavering 
balance. 

It is not the shrines of the gods, nor the powers of 31 
the air, that send the dreams which mock the mind 
with flitting shadows; each man makes dreams for 
himself. For when rest lies about the limbs subdued 
by sleep, and the mind plays with no weight upon 
it, it pursues in the darkness whatever was its task 
by daylight. The man who makes towns tremble in 
war, and overwhelms unhappy cities in flame, sees 
arms, and routed hosts, and the deaths of kings, and 
plains streaming with outpoured blood. They whose 
life is to plead cases have statutes and the courts 
before their eyes, and look with terror upon the 
judgement-seat surrounded by a throng. The miser 
hides his gains and discovers buried treasure. 

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TITUS PETRONIUS ARBITER 

Venator saltus canibus quatit. Eripit undis 
aut premit eversam periturus navita puppem. 
Scribit amatori meretrix, dat adultera munus : 
et canis in somnis leporis vestigia lustrat. 
In noctis spatium miserorum vulnera durant. 



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POEMS 

The hunter shakes the woods with his pack. The 
sailor snatches his shipwrecked bark from the waves, 
or grips it in death-agony. The woman writes to her 
lover, the adulteress yields herself: and the dog follows 
the tracks of the hare as he sleeps. The wounds of 
the unhappy endure into the night-season. 



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SENECAE 
AII0K0A0KYNTfl2I2 DIVI CLAUDII 



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INTRODUCTION 

This piece is ascribed to Seneca by ancient tradition ; 
it is impossible to prove that it is his, and impossible 
to prove that it is not. The matter will probably con- 
tinue to be decided by every one according to his 
view of Seneca's character and abilities : in the mat- 
ters of style and of sentiment much may be said on 
both sides. Dion Cassius (lx, 35) says that Seneca 
composed an diroKoXoKvvrwis or Pumpkinification of 
Claudius after his death, the title being a parody of 
the usual aTroOeaxris ; but this title is not given in the 
MSS. of the Ludus de Morte Claudii, nor is there any- 
thing in the piece which suits the title very well. 

As a literary form, the piece belongs to the class 
called Satura Menippea, a satiric medley in prose and 
verse. 

This text is that of Buecheler, with a few trifling 
changes, which are indicated in the notes. We have 
been courteously allowed by Messrs Weidmann to use 
this text. I have to acknowledge the help of Mr Ball's 
notes, from which I have taken a few references ; but 
my translation was made many years ago. 

W. H. D. Rouse. 



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BIBLIOGRAPHY 

Editio Princeps : Lucii Annaei Senecae in morte 
Claudii Caesaris Ludus nuper repertus: Rome, 
1513. 

Latest critical text: Franz Buecheler, Weidmann, 1904 
(a reprint with a few changes of the text from 
a larger work, Divi Claudii ' ' AiroKoXoKvvrwris in 
the Symbola Philologorum Bonnensium, fasc. i, 
1864). 

Translations and helps: The Satire of Seneca on the 
Apotheosis of Claudius, by A. P. Ball (with intro- 
duction, notes, and translations): New York: 
Columbia University Press; London, Macmillan, 
1902. 



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SENECAE APOCOLOCYNTOSIS DIVI CLAUDII 

Quid actum sit in caelo ante diem III idus Octobris 

anno novo, initio saeculi felicissimi, volo memoriae tra- 

dere. Nihil nee offensae nee gratiae dabitur. Haec ita 

vera. Si quis quaesiverit unde sciam, primum, si no- 

luero, non respondebo. Quis coacturus est? Ego scio 

me liberum factum, ex quo suum diem obiit ille, qui 

verum proverbium fecerat, aut regem aut fatuum 

nasci oportere. Si libuerit respondere, dicam quod 

mihi in buccam venerit. Quis unquam ab historico 

iuratores exegit? Tamen si necesse fuerit auctorem 

producere, quaerito ab eo qui Drusillam euntem in 

caelum vidit : idem Claudium vidisse se dicet iter faci- 

entem "non passibus acquis.' ' J^elit nolit, necesse est 

illi omnia videre^ quae in caelo aguntur : Appiae viae 

curator est, qua scis et divum Augustum et Tiberium 

Caesarem ad deos isse. Hunc si interrogaveris, soli _ 

narrabit: coram pluribus nunquam verbum faciei 

Nam ex quo in senatu iuravit se Drusillam vidisse 

caelum ascendentem et illi pro tam bono nuntio nemo 

credidit, quod viderit, verbis conceptis affirmavit se 

non indicaturum, etiam si in medio foro hominem 
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SENECA 

APOCOLOCYNTOSIS, OR LUDUS DE MORTE 
CLAUDII: THE PUMPKINIFICATION OF 
CLAUDIUS. 

I wish to place on record the proceedings in heaven 1 
October 1 3 last, of the new year which begins this 
auspicious age. It shall be done without malice or 
favour. This is the truth. Ask if you like how I 
know it? To begin with, I am not bound to please 
you with my answer. Who will compel me ? I know 
the same day made me free, which was the last day 
for him who made the proverb true — One must be 
born either a Pharaoh or a fool. If I choose to an- 
swer, I will say whatever trips off my tongue. Who 
has ever made the historian produce witness to swear 
for him? But if an authority must be produced, ask 
of the man who saw Drusilla translated to heaven : 
the same man will aver he saw Claudius on the road, Jirg. 
dot and carry one. Will he nill he, all that happens in 724 
heaven he needs must see. He is the custodian of the 
Appian Way ; by that route, you know, both Tiberius 
and Augustus went up to the gods. Question him, 
he will tell you the tale when you are alone ; before 
company he is dumb. You see he swore in the Senate 
that he beheld Drusilla mounting heavenwards, and 
all he got for his good news was that everybody gave 
him the lie : since when he solemnly swears he will 
never bear witness again to what he has seen, not even 
if he had seen a man murdered in open market. What 
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LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA j 

occisum vidisset. Ab hoc ego quae turn audivi, certa 
clara affero, ita ilium salvum et felicem habeam. 

2 lam Phoebus breviore via contraxerat ortum 
lucis, et obscuri crescebant tempora somni, 
iamque suum victrix augebat Cynthia regnum, 
et deformis hiemps gratos carpebat honores 
divitis autumni, iussoque senescere Baccho 
carpebat raras serus vindemitor uvas. 

Puto magis intellegi, si dixero : mensis erat October, 
dies III idus Octobris. Horam non possum certam 
tibi dicere, facilius inter philosophos quam inter horo^ 
logia conveniet, tamen inter sextam et septimam erat 
Nimis rustice" inquies: "cum omnes poetae, non 
contenti ortus et occasus describere, ut etiam medium 
diem inquietent, tu sic transibis horam tarn bonam ? " 

lam medium curru Phoebus diviserat orbem 
et propior nocti fessas quatiebat habenas 
obliquo flexam deduoens tramite lucem : 

3 Claudius ' animam agerfe coepit nee in venire exitum 
poterat. Turn Mercurius, qui semper ingenio eius 
delectatus esset, unam e tribus Parcis seducit et ait: 

Quid, femina crudelissima, hominem miserum tor- 
queri pateris? Nee unquam tam diu cruciatus cesset? 

1 So MSS: Buecheler orbem unnecessarily. 
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APOCOLOCYNTOSIS 

he told me I report plain and clear, as I hope for his 
health and happiness. 

Now had the sun with shorter course drawn in his 

risen light, 
And by equivalent degrees grew the dark hours of 

night: 
Victorious Cynthia now held sway over a wider space, 
Grim winter drove rich autumn out, and now usurped 

his place ; 
And now the fiat had gone forth that Bacchus must 

grow old, 
The few last clusters of the vine were gathered ere 

the cold: 

I shall make myself better understood, if I say the 
month was October, the day was the thirteenth. 
What hour it was I cannot certainly tell ; philosophers 
will agree more often than clocks ; but it was between 
middav and one after noon. Clumsy creature ! " you 
say. ' The poets are not content to describe sunrise 
and sunset, and now they even disturb the midday 
siesta. Will you thus neglect so good an hour?" 

Now the sun's chariot had gone by the middle of his 

way; 
Half wearily he shook the reins, nearer to night than 

' day, 
And led the light along the slope that down before 

him lay. 

Claudius began to breathe his last, and could not 
make an end of the matter. Then Mercury, who had 
always been much pleased with his wit, drew aside 
one of the three Fates, and said : Cruel beldame, 
why do you let the poor wretch be tormented ? After 

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LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA 
Annus sexagesimus quartus est, ex quo cum anima 
luctatur. Quid huic et rei publicae invides? Patere 
mathematicosaliquando verumdicere, qui ilium, ex quo 
princeps factus est, omnibus annis, omnibus mensibus 
efferunt. Et tamen non est mirum si errant et horam 
eius nemo novit; nemo enim unquam ilium natum 
putavit. Fac quod faciendum est: 

'Dede neci, melior vacua sine regnelrin aula.'" 

Sed Clotho ego mehercules" inquit pusillum tem- 
poris adicere illi volebam, duin hos pauculos, qui 
supersunt, civitate donaret (constituerat enim omnes 
Graecos, Gallos, Hispanos, Britannos togatos videre) 
sed quoniam placet aliquos peregrinos in semen relin- 
qui et tu ita iubes fieri, fiat." Aperit turn capsulam et 
tres fusos profert : unus erat Augurini, alter Babae, 
tertius Claudii. Hos" inquit tres uno anno exiguis 
intervallis temporum divisos mori iubebo, nee ilium 
incomitatum dimittam. Non oportet enim eum, qui 
modo se tot milia hominum sequentia videbat, tot 
praecedentia, tot circumfusa, subito solum destitui. 
Contentus erit his interim convictoribus." 

Haec ait et turpj convolvens stamina fuso 

abrupit stolidae regalia tempora vitae. 
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APOCOLOCYNTOSIS 

all this torture cannot he have a rest? Four and sixty 
years it is now since he began to pant for breath. 
What grudge is this you bear against him and the 
whole empire? Do let the astrologers tell the truth 
for once ; since he became emperor, they have never 
let a year pass, never a month, without laying him 
out for his burial. Yet it is no wonder if they are 
wrong, and no one knows his hour. Nobody ever be- 
lieved he was really quite born. 1 Do what has to be 
done: Kill him. and let a better man rule in hisY"*- 

. . „ ' Georg. 

empty court. iv, 90 

Clotho replied: ' Upon my word, I did wish to 
give him another hour or two, until he should make 
Roman citizens of the half dozen who are still out- 
siders. (He made up his mind, you know, to see the. 
whole world in the toga, Greeks, Gauls, Spaniards, 
Britons, and all.) But since it is your pleasure to 
leave a few foreigners for seed, and since you com- 
mand me, so be it." She opened her box and out 
camejhree spindles. One was for Augurinus, one , 
for (kba) one for Claudius. 2 "These three," she says, ^ 
"I wMcause to die within one year and at no great 
distance apart, and I will not dismiss him unattended. 
Think of all the thousands of men he was wont to see 
following after him, thousands going before, thousands 
all crowding about him; and it would never do to 
leaye him* alone on a sudden. These boon companions 
will satisfy him for the nonce." 

This said, she twists the thread around his ugly spindle 4 

once, 
Snaps off the last bit of the life of that Imperial dunce. 

'A proverb for a nobody, as Petron. 58 qui te natum, non 
putat, 

2 Augurinus: unknown. Baba: see Sen. Ep. 159, a fool. 

a -staV . 

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LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA , i 
ille,/mihf similisJvultu similisqu^ decore_j 
nee cantu nee voce minor. Felicia lassis 
saecula praestabit legumque silentia rumpet. 
Qualis discutiens fugientia Lucifer astra 
aut qualis surgit redeuntibus Hesperus astris, 
qualis cum primum tenebris Aurora solutis 
induxit rubicj*fio!afcIiem, Sol aspicit orbem 
lucidus, et primos a jcarcereJconcitat axes: 
talis Caesar adest, talem iam Roma\Neron5m 
aspiciet. Flagr4t nitidus fulgore remisso 
r vultus, et adfuso cervix formosa capillo." 

- naec Apollo. At Lachesis, quae et ipsa homini for- 
mosissimo faveret, fecit illud plena manu, et Neroni 
multos annos de suo donat. Claudium autem iubent 
omnes 

XdipOVTOLS, €V<f>r)flOVVTOLS €Kir€fl7T€(,V &6[l(i>V. 



Et ille quidem gnimam ebulliij;, et ex eo desiit vivere 
videri. Exspiravit autem dum comoedos audit, ut 
scias me non sine causa illos timerej Ultima vox eius 
haec inter homines audita est, cum maiorem sonitum 

1 A fragment from the Cresphontes of Euripides (Nauck, 
452)- 

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APOCOLOCYNTOSIS 

Like me in face and lovely grace, like me in voice and 

song, 
He'll bid the laws at length speak out that have been 

dumb so long, 
Will give unto the weary world years prosperous and 

bright. 
Like as the daystar from on high scatters the stars of 

night, 
As, when the stars return again, clear Hesper brings 

his light, 
Or as the ruddy dawn drives out the dark, and brings 

the day, 
As the bright sun looks on the world, and speeds along 

its way 
His rising car from morning's gates : so Caesar doth 

arise, 
So Nero shows his face to Rome before the people's 

eyes; 
His bright and shining countenance illumines all the air, 
While down upon his graceful neck fall rippling waves 

of hair." 

Thus Apollo. But Lachesis, quite as ready to cast a 
favourable eye on a handsome man, spins away by the 
handful, and bestows years and years upon Nero out 
of her own pocket. As for Claudius, they tell everybody 
to speed him on his way 
With cries of joy and solemn litany. 

At once he bubbled up the ghost, and there was an 
end to that shadow of a life. He was listening to a 
troupe of comedians when he died, so you see I have 
reason to fear those gentry. The last words he was 
heard to speak in this world were these. When he had 
made a great noise with that part of him which talked 

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LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA 
emisisset ilia parte, qua facilius loquebatur : " vae me, 
.* puto, concacavi me." Quod an fecerit, nescio: omnia 

certe concacavit) 
5 Quae in terris postea sint acta, supervacuum est 
referre. Scitis enim optime, nee periculum est ne 
excidant memoriae quae gaudium publicum impres- 
serit : nemo felicitatis suae obliviscitur. In caelo 
quae acta sint, audite : fides penes auctorem erit. 
J Nuntiatur Iovi venisse quendam bonae staturae, bene 
£anumj nescie-qt»id411iun minari, assidue enim caput 
movere ; p§dem dextru m trahere . Quaesisse se, cuius 
nationis esset : respondisse nescio quid perturbato 
sono et voce confusa ; non intellegere se linguam eius, 
nee Graecum esse nee Romanum nee ullius gentis 
notae. Turn Iuppiter Herculem, qui totum orbem 
terrarum pererraverat et nosse videbatur omnes nati- 
ones, iubet ire et explorare, quorum hominum esset. 
Turn Hercules primo aspectu sane perturbatus est, ut 
qui etiam non omnia monstra timuerit. Ut vidit novi 
generis faciem, insolitum incessum, vocem nullius 
terrestris animalis sed qualis esjsejoaa»nisbeluis solet, 
raucam et implicatam, putavit sibi tertium decimum 
^laborem venissel Diligentnis intuentrrisus^est quasi 
homo. Accessit itaque et quod facillimum fuit Grae- 
culo, ait : 

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APOCOLOCYNTOSIS 

easiest, he cried out, "Oh dear, oh dear! I think I 
have made a mess of myself." Whether he did or no, 
I cannot say, but certain it is he always did make a 
mess of everything. 

What happened next on earth it is mere waste of 5 
time to tell, for you know it all well enough, and 
there is no fear of your ever forgetting the impression 
which that public rejoicing made on your memory. 
No one forgets his own happiness. What happened 
in heaven you shall hear : for proof please apply to my 
informant. Word comes to Jupiter that a stranger 
had arrived, a man of fair height and hair well sprinkled 
with grey; he seemed to be threatening something, 
for he wagged his head ceaselessly ; he dragged the 
right foot. They asked him what nation he was of; 
he answered something in a confused mumbling 
voice: his language they did not understand. He 
was no Greek and no Roman, nor of any known race. 
On this Jupiter bids Hercules go and find out what 
country he comes from ; you see Hercules had travelled 
over the whole world, and might be expected to know 
all the nations in it. But Hercules, the first glimpse he 
got, was really much taken aback, although not all 
the monsters in the world could frighten him ; when 
he saw this new kind of object, with its extraordinary 
gait, and the voice of no terrestrial beast, but such 
as you might hear in the leviathans of the deep, 
hoarse and inarticulate, he thought his thirteenth 
labour had come upon him. When he looked closer, 
the thing seemed to be a kind of man. Up he goes, 
then, and says what your Greek finds readiest to his 
tongue : 

Who art thou, and what thy people ? Who thy Od. i, 17 
parents, where thy home?" 

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LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA 
Claudius gaudet esse illic philologos homines, sperat 
futurum aliquem historiis suis locum. Itaque et ipse 
Homerico versu Caesarem se esse significans ait : 

'IA.IO0CV fl€ <f>€fHt)V 0LV€flOS Klk6v€<T(TL irk\(U(T(T€V, 

Erat autem sequens versus verior, aeque Homericus : 

ZvOa 8* cyw iroXiv hrpaOov, 6>A.€<ra 8' avrovs. 

6 Et imposuerat Herculi minime vafro. nisi fuisset illic 
\y Febris, quae fano suo relicto sola cum illo venerat: 
ceteros omnes deos Romae reliquerat. f Iste " inquit 
" mera mendacia narrat. Ego tibi dico, quae cum illo 
tot annis vixi : Luguduni natus est, Marci municipem 
vides. Quod tibi narro, ad sextum decimum lapidem 
natus est a Vienna, Gallus germanus. Itaque quod 
Galium facere oportebat, Romam cepit. Hunc ego 
tibi recipio Luguduni natum, ubi Licinus 1 multis annis 
regnavit. Tu autem, qui plura loca calcasti quam ullus 
mulio perpetuarius, Lugudunenses scire debes, et* 
multa milia inter Xanthum et Rhodanum interesse." 
Excandescit hoc loco Claudius et quanto potest mur- 
mure irascitur. Quid diceret, nemo intellegebat, ille 
autem Febrim duci iubebat, illo gestu solutae manus 

1 Buecheler Licinus for Licinius. 

-Buecheler omits et withoneMS. and brackets Lugudunenses. 
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APOCOLOCYNTOSIS 

Claudius was delighted to find literary men in that 
place, and began to hope there might be some corner 
for his own historical works. So he caps him with 
another Homeric verse, explaining that he was Caesar : 

■' Breezes wafted me from Ilion unto the Ciconian od.ix, 39. 
land." 

But the next verse* was more true, and no less 
Homeric : 

"Thither come/ I sacked a city, slew the people 
every one." 

He would have taken in poor simple Hercules, but 6 
that Our. Lady of Malaria was there, who left her 
temple and came alone with him : all the other gods 
he had left at Rome. Quoth she, "The fellow's tale - 
is nothing but lies. I have lived with him all these 
years, and I tell you, he was born at Lyons. You behold 
a fellow-burgess of Marcus. 1 As 1 say, he was born 
at the sixteenth milestone from Vienne, a native Gaul. 
So of course he took Rome, as a good Gaul ought to 
do. I pledge you my word that in Lyons he was 
born, where Licinus 2 was king so many years. But 
you that have trudged over more roads than any, 
muleteer that plies for hire, you must have come across 
the people of Lyons, and you must know that it is a 
far cry from Xanthus to the Rhone." At this point 
Claudius flared up, and expressed his wrath with as 
big a growl as he could manage. What he said 
nobody understood; as a matter of fact, he was 
ordering my lady of Fever to be taken away, and 
making that sign with his trembling hand (which 

1 Reference unknown. 

a A Gallic slave, appointed by Augustus Procurator of Gallia 
Lugudunensis, when he made himself notorious by his ex- 
tortions. See Dion Cass, liv, 21. 

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LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA 
et ad hoc unum satis firmae, quo decollare homines 
7 solebat, iusserat illi collum praecidi. Putares omnes 
illius esseUibertosv adeo ilium nemo curabat. Turn 
Hercules audi me " inquit tu desine fatuari. Venlisti 
hue, ubi mures ferrum rodunt. Citius mihi verum, ne 
tibi alogias excutiam." Et quo terribilior esset, tragi- 
cus fit et ait: , (i 




hoc ne peremptu fy sfipitVa d terram accidas; 
haec clava reges saepe mactavit feros. 
Quid nunc profatu vocis incerto sonas ? 
Quae patria, quae gens mobile eduxit caput ? 
Edisseref Equidem regna tergemini petens 
longinqua regis, unde ab HespCrio mari 
Inachiam ad urbem nob fle ad vexi pecus, 
vidi duobus imminent fluviis iuVum^V^ 
quod Phoebus ortu semper obverso videt, 
ubi Rhodanfis ingens v imne praterapjdP fluit, 
Ararque dubitans, quo suos cursus agat, 
tacitus quietis adluit ripas vadis. 
Estne ilia tellus spiritus altrix tui?" 

Haec satis animose et fortiter, nihilo minus mentis 
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APOCOLOCYNTOSIS 

was always steady enough for that, if for nothing 
else) by which he used to decapitate men. He had 
ordered her head to be chopped off. For all the 
notice the others took of him, they might have been 
his own freedmen. 

Then Hercules said, "You just listen to me, and ' 
stop playing the fool. You have come to the place 
where the mice nibble iron. 1 Out with the truth, and 
look sharp, or I'll knock your quips and quiddities out 
of you." Then to make himself all the more awftri, 
he strikes an attitude and proceeds in his most tragic 
vein: 

Declare with speed what spot you claim by birth, 
Or with this club fall stricken to the earth ! 
This club hath ofttimes slaughtered haughty kings ! 
Why mumble unintelligible things? 
What land, what tribe produced that shaking head ? 
Declare it ! On my journey when I sped 
Far to the Kingdom of the triple King, 
And from the Main Hesperian did bring ' 
The goodly cattle to the Argive town, 
There I beheld a mountain looking down 
Upon two rivers : this the Sun espies 
Right opposite each day he doth arise. 
Hence, mighty Rhone, thy rapid torrents flow, 
And Arar, much in doubt which way to go, 
Ripples along the banks with shallow roll. * 
Say, is this land the nurse that bred thy soul?" 

These lines he delivered with much spirit and a bold 
front. All the same, he was not quite master of his 

'A proverb, found also in Herondas Hi, 76 : apparently fairy- 
land, the land of Nowhere. 

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LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA 

suae non est et timet fnapov ir\r)yqv. Claudius ut vidit 
virum valentem, oblitus nugarum intellexit neminem 
Romae sibi parem fuisse, illic non habere se idem gra- 
tiae:jgajlum in siiq sterqwlino plmrimnm pnrw Itaque 
quantum intellegi potuit, haec visus est dicere : Ego 
te, fortissime deorum Hercule, speravi mihi adfuturum 
apud alios, et si qui a me notorem petisset, te fui 
nominaturus, qui me optime nosti. Nam si memoria 
repetis, ego eram qui tibi 1 ante templum tuum ius 
dicebam totis diebus mense Iulio et Augusto. Tu scis, 
quantum illic miseriarum tulerim, cum causidicos audi- 
rem diem et noctem, in quos si incidisses, valde fortis 
licet tibi videaris, maluisses cloacas Augeae purgare : 
multo plus ego stercoris exhausi. Sed quoniam volo" 
8 ' Non mi rum quod in curiam impetum fecisti: nihil 
tibi clausi est. Modo die nobis, qualem deum istum 
fieri velis. ' EiriKovpeios 0cds non potest esse: avre 
avrbs irpayfjia exct ri ovre aAAot? irapex^t Stoicus? 
Quomodo potest ' rotundus ' esse, ut ait Varro, ' sine 
capite, sine praeputio ' ? Est aliquid in illo Stoici dei, 
iam video : nee cor nee caput habet. Si mehercules 
a Saturno petisset hoc beneficium, cuius mensem toto 
anno celebravit, Saturnalicius princeps, non tulisset 
illud, nedum ab love, quern quantum quidem in illo 

1 So MSS. Buecheler reads Tiburi, quoting Suet., Aug. 72. 

1 A parody of the phrase, 6eov TrXrjyj), god's blow, or as in 
Apostolius viii, 89, C, Oeov 51 vXriyfyv ou% virepirrjdf ppords (from 
Menander) : no mortal can escape god's blow. 

2 Galium means both Gaul and cock ; the proverb plays on 
his birthplace. 

8 Compare Diogenes Laertius x, 139: rbfuucdpiw icai Atpdapro* 
oihe aM rpayfid tl *x« oih€ &\\(p irap^xet: ** The Blessed and 
Incorruptible neither itself has trouble nor causes trouble to 
another." 

4 Author of Saturae Menippeae (now lost), which no doubt 
burlesqued the Stoic " perfect man," totus teres atque rotundus. 
386 



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APOCOLOCYNTOSIS 

— ^ * i 

wits, and had some fear of a blow from the fool. 

Claudius, seeing a mighty man before him, forgot his 
trifling and understood that here he had not quite the 
same pre-eminence as at Rome, where no one was his^ ? 
equal: the Gallic cock 3 was worth most on his own C 
dunghill. So this is what he was thought to say, as 
far as could be made out: "I did hope, Hercules, 
bravest of all the gods, that you would take my part 
with the rest, and if I should need a voucher, that I 
might name you who know me so well. Do but call 
it to mind, how it was I used to sit in judgment before 
your temple whole days together during July and 
August. You know what miseries I endured there, in 
hearing the lawyers plead day and night. If you had 
fallen amongst these, you may think yourself very 
strong, but you would have found it worse than the 
sejKers-of Augeas : I drained out more filth than you 
did. But since I want ..." 

(Some pages have fallen out, in which Hercules 
must have been persuaded. The gods are now discus- 
sing what Hercules tells them). 

No wonder you have forced your way into the 8 
Senate House : no bars or bolts can hold against you. 
Only do say what species of god you want the fellow 
to be made. An Epicurean god he cannot be : for 
they take no trouble and cause none. 8 A Stoic, „ 
then ? How can he be globular, as Varro 4 says, with- 
out a head or any other projection ? There is in him 
something of the Stoic god, as I can see now : he has 
neither heart nor head. Upon my word, if he had 
asked this boon from Saturn, he would not have got 
it, though he kept up Saturn's feast all the year round, 
a truly Saturnalian prince. A likely thing he will get 
it from Jove, whom he condemned for incest as far as 
cc2 387 



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LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA 
fuit, damnavit incesti. Silanum enim generum suum 
occidit propterea quod sororem suam, festivissimam 
omnium puellarum, quam omnes Venerem vocarent, 
maluit Iunonem vocare. Quare' inquit quaero 
enim, sororem suam ? ' Stulte, stude : Athenis dimi- 
dium licet, Alexandriae totum. ' Quia Romae ' inquis 
mures molas lingunt.' Hie nobis curva corriget? 
quid in cubiculo suo faciat, nescit, et iam caeli 
scrutatur plagas ' ? Deus fieri vult : parum est quod 
templum in Britannia habet, quod hunc barbari colunt 
et ut deum orant fnapov emXarov tv\€iv1" 

Tandem Iovi venit in mentem, privatis intra curiam 
morantibus senatoribus non licere * sententiam dicere 
nee disputare. Ego" inquit p. c. interrogare vobis 
permiseram, vos mem_mapaU^ fecistis. Volo ut 
servetis disciplinam curiae. Hie qualiscunque est, 
quid de nobis existimabit?" Illo dimisso primus 
interrogatur sententiam Ianus pater. Is designatus 
erat in kal. Iulias postmeridianus consul, homo quan- 
tumvis vafer, qui semper videt afia irpoaxno #eat oirtovot. 

1 senatoribus non licere: added by Bueckeler. 



1 Because Juno was et soror et coniunx, 

3 Marriage with a half-sister was allowed at Athens ; the 
Egyptian royal family married brother and sister. 

'Another proverb of uncertain meaning; probably "be- 
cause people like nice things at Rome, as they do every- 
where." 

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APOCOLOCYNTOSIS 

in him lay : x for he killed his son-in-law Silanus, 
because Silanus had a sister, a most charming girl, 
called Venus by all the world, and he preferred to call 
her Juno. Why, says he, I want to know why, his 
own sister ? Read your books, stupid : you may go 
half-way at Athens, the whole way at Alexandria. 2 
Because the mice lick meal 3 at Rome, you say. Is 
this creature to mend our crookecl ways ? What goes 
on in his own closet he knows not ; 4 and now he 
searches the regions of the sky, wants to be a god. 
Is it not enough that he has a temple in Britain, that 
savages worship him and pray to him as a god, so that 
they may find a fool 5 to have mercy upon them ? " 

At last it came into Jove's head, that while strangers J 
were in the House it was not lawful to speak or debate. 
My lords and gentlemen," said he, I gave you 
leave to ask questions, and you have made a regular 
farmyard 6 of the place. Be so good as to keep the 
rules of the House. What will this person think of 
us, whoever he is ? " So Claudius was led out, and 
the first to be asked his opinion was Father Janus : 
he had been made consul elect for the afternoon of 
the next first of July, 7 being as shrewd a man as you 
could find on a summer's day : for he could see, as they 
say, before and behind. 8 He made an eloquent 

4 Perhaps alluding to a mock marriage of Silius and 
Messalina. 

5 Again fnapov for Oeov as in ch. 6. 

• Proverb: meaning unknown. 

7 Perhaps an allusion to the shortening of the consul's 
term, which was done to give more candidates a chance of 
the honour. 

8 II. iii, 109 ; plluding here to Janus's double face. 

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LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA 

Is multa diserte, quod in foro vivebat, dixit, quae 
notarius persequi non potuit, et ideo non refero, ne 
aliis verbis ponam, quae ab illo dicta sunt. Multa 
dixit de magnitudine deorum : non debere hunc vulgo 
dari honorem. " Olim " inquit ' magna res erat deum 
fieri: iam famam mimum fecistis. Itaque ne videar 
in personam, non in rem dicere sententiam, censeo ne 
quis post hunc diem deus fiat ex his, qui dpovprjs 
Kapwhv ZSovo-w, aut ex his, quos alit (eiSvpos apovpa. 
Qui contra hoc senatus consultum deus factus, dictus 
pictusve erit, eum dedi Laruis et proximo munere 
inter novos auctoratos ferulis vapulare placet." Pro- 
ximus interrogatur sententiam Diespiter Vicae Potae 
films, et ipse designatus consul, nummulariolus : hoc 
quaestu se sustinebat, vendere civitatulas solebat. Ad 
hunc belle accessit Hercules et auriculam illi tetigit. 
Censet itaque in haec verba : ' Cum divus Claudius 
et divum Augustum sanguine contingat nee minus 
divam Augustam aviam suam, quam ipse deam esse 
iussit, longeque oranes mortales sapientia antecellat, 
sitque e re publica esse aliquem qui cum Romulo 
possit 'ferventia rapa vorare/ censeo uti divus 
Claudius ex hac die deus sit, ita uti ante eum qui 
optimo iure factus sit, eamque rem ad metamorphosis 
Ovidi adiciendam." Variae erant sententiae, et vide- 



1 No one knows what this phrase really means. Cic. Att. i, 
1 6" has fabam mimum, which makes it likely that there 
should be the same reading here ; but as the meaning is so 
uncertain it seems best not to alter the text. 

2 II. vi, 142 and other phrases. 
* Part of the training. 

4 Apparently sometimes identified with Pluto, Dis. 

5 A quotation from some unknown poet. Martial speaks of 
Romulus eating turnips, xiii, 16. 

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APOCOLOCYNTOSIS 

harangue, because his life was passed in the forum, but 
too fast for the notary to take down. That is why I 
give no full report of it, for I don't want to change 
the words he used. He said a great deal of the 
majesty of the gods, and how the honour ought not 
to be given away to every Tom, Dick, or Harry. 
Once," said he, " it was a great thing to become a 
god ; now you have made it a farce. 1 Therefore, that 
you may not think I am speaking against one person 
instead of the general custom, I propose that from 
this day forward the godhead be given to none of 
those who eat the fruits of the earth, or whom mother 
earth doth nourish. 2 After this bill has been read a 
third time, whosoever is made, said, or portrayed to be 
god, I vote he be delivered over to the bogies, and at 
the next public show be flogged with a birch amongst 
the new gladiators." 3 The next to be asked was 
Diespiter, son of Vica Pota, he also being consul 
elect, and a moneylender ; 4 by this trade he made a 
living, used to sell rights of citizenship in a small way. 
Hercules trips me up to him daintily, and tweaks 
him by the ear. So he uttered his opinion in these 
words : " Inasmuch as the blessed Claudius is akin to 
the blessed Augustus, and also to the blessed Augusta, 
his grandmother, whom he ordered to be made a 
goddess, and whereas he far surpasses all mortal men 
in wisdom, and seeing that it is for the public good 
that there be some one able to join Romulus in 
devouring boiled turnips, 5 I propose that from this 
day forth blessed Claudius be a god, to enjoy that 
honour with all its appurtenances in as full a degree 
as any other before him, and that a note to that effect 
be added to Ovid's Metamorphoses." The meeting 
was divided, and it looked as though Claudius was to 

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LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA 
batur Claudius sententiam vincere. Hercules enim, 
qui videret ferrum suum in igne esse, modo hue modo 
illuc cursabat et aiebat : ' Noli mihi invidere, mea res 
agitur ; deinde tu si quid volueris, in vicem faciam ; 
manui mannm lnrnt " 
10 Tunc divus Augustus surrexit sententiae suae loco 
dicendae, et summa facundia disseruit : Ego " inquit 
" p. c. vos testes habeo, ex quo deus factus sum, nul- 
lum me verbum fecisse : semper meum negotium ag o. 
Sed non possum amplius dissimulare, et dolorem, quern 
graviorem pudor facit, continere. In hoc terra mari- 
que pacem peperi ? Ideo civilia bella compescui ? Ideo 
legibus urbem fundavi, operibus ornavi, ut — quid 
dicam p. c. non invenio : omnia infra indignationem 
verba sunt. Confugiendum est itaque ad Messalae 
Corvini, disertissimi viri, illam sententiam pudet 
imperii." Hie, p. c, qui vobis non posse videtur 
muscam excitare, tarn facile homines occidebat, quam 
canis adsidit. Sed quid ego de tot ac talibus viris 
dicam? Non vacat deflere publicas clades intuenti 
domestica mala. Itaque ilia omittam, haec referam ; 
nam etiam si soror 1 mea Graece nescit, ego scio: 
cyytov yovv Kvqws, Iste quem videtis, per tot annos 
1 MSS. sormea. 



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APOCOLOCYNTOSIS 

win the day. For Hercules saw his iron was in the 
fire, trotted here and trotted there, saying, " Don't 
deny me ; I make a point of the matter. Til do as 
much for you again, when you like ; you roll my log, 
and I'll roll yours : one hand washes another." 

Then arose the blessed Augustus, when his turn 10 
came, and spoke with much eloquence. 1 " I call you 
to witness, my lords and gentlemen," said he, " that 
since the day I was made a god I have never uttered 
one word. I always mind my own business. But 
now I can keep on the mask no longer, nor conceal the 
sorrow which shame makes all the greater. Is it for 
this I have made peace by land and sea ? For this 
have I calmed intestine wars ? For this, laid a firm 
foundation of law for Rome, adorned it with buildings, 
and all that — gentlemen, words fail me ; there are 
none can rise to the height of my indignation. I 
must borrow that saying of the eloquent Messala 
Corvinus, I am ashamed of my authority. 2 This man, 
my lords, who looks as though he could not worry a 
fly, used to chop off heads as easily as a dog sits down. 
But why should I speak of all those men, and such 
men ? There is no time to lament for public disasters, 
when one has so many private sorrows to think of. I 
leave that, therefore, and say only this ; for even if 
my sister knows no Greek, I do : The knee is nearer 
than the shin. 8 This man you see, who for so many 

1 The speech seems to contain a parody of Augustus's 
style and sayings. 

2 M. Valerius Messalas Corvinus, appointed praefectus urbi, 
resigned within a week. 

8 A proverb, like "Charity begins at home." The reading of 
'the passage is uncertain ; " sister " is only a conjecture, and 
it is hard to see why bis sister should be mentioned. 

393 



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LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA 
sub meo nomine latens, hanc mihi gratiam rettulit, ut 
duas Iulias proneptes meas occideret, alteram ferro, 
alteram fame ; unum abnepotem L. Silanum. videris 
Iuppiter an in causa mala, certe in tua, si aequus 
futurus es. Die mihi, dive Claudi, quare quemquam 
ex his, quos quasque occidisti, antequam de causa 
cognosceres, antequam audires, damnasti ? Hoc ubi 
1 1 fieri solet ? In caelo non fit. Ecce Iuppiter, qui tot 
annos regnat, uni Volcano crus fregit, quern 

pi\p€ iroSbs rcrayuiv dirb f3r)\ov B&nreo-ioio, 
et iratus fuit uxori et suspendit illam: numquid 
occidit? Tu Messalinam, cuius aeque avunculus maior 
eram quam tuus, occidisti. Nescio" inquis. Di 
tibi male faciant: adeo istuc turpius est, quod nesci- 
sti, quam quod occidisti. C. Caesarem non desiit 
mortuum persequi. Occiderat ille socerum: hie et 
generum. Gaius Crassi filium vetuit Magnum vocari: 
hie nomen illi reddidit, caput tulit. Occidit in una 
domo Crassum, Magnum, Scriboniam, Tristionias, 
Assarionem, nobiles tamen, Crassum vero tarn fatuum, 
ut etiam regnare posset. Hunc nunc deum facere 
vultis? Videte corpus eius dis iratis natum. Ad sum- 
mam, tria verba cito dicat, et servum me ducat 
Hunc deum quis colet? Quiscredet? Dum tales deos 
facitis, nemo vos deos esse credet. Summa rei, p. c, 



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APOCOLOCYNTOSIS 

years has been masquerading under my name, has 
done me the favour of murdering two Julias, great- 
granddaughters of mine, one by cold steel and one by 
starvation ; and one great-grandson, L. Silanus. See, 
Jupiter, whether in a bad cause (at least it is your own) 
you will be fair. Come tell me, blessed Claudius, why 
of all those you killed, both men and women, with- 
out a hearing, why you did not hear their side of the 
case first, before putting them to death ? Where do 
we find that custom? It is not done in heaven. 
Look at Jupiter : all these years he has been king, and 1 1 
never did more than once to break Vulcan's leg, 

Whom seizing by the foot he cast from the iuad i, 591. 
threshold of the sky/ 

and once he fell in a rage with his wife and strung 
her up: did he do any killing? You killed Messalina, 
whose great-uncle I was no less than yours. I don't 
know,' did you say ? Curse you ! that is just it : not 
to know was worse than to kill. Caligula he went on 
persecuting even when he was dead. Caligula mur- 
dered his father-in-law, Claudius his son-in-law to 
boot. Caligula would not have Crassus' son called 
Great; Claudius gave him his name back, and took 
away his head. In one family he destroyed Crassus, 
Magnus, Scribonia, the Tristionias, Assario, noble 
though they were ; Crassus indeed such a fool that he 
might have been emperor. Is this he you want now to 
make a god? Look at his body, born under the wrath 
of heaven ! In fine, let him say as many as three words 
quickly, and he may have me for a slave. God ! who 
will worship this god, who will believe him ? While 
you make gods of such as he, no one will believe you 
to be gods. To be brief, my lords : if I have lived 

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LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA 
si honeste me 1 inter vos gessi, si nulli clarius respondi, 
vindicate iniurias meas. Ego pro sententia mea hoc 
censeo:" atque ita ex tabella recitavit: quando 
quidem divus Claudius occidit socerum suum Appium 
Silanum, generos duos Magnum Pompeium et L. 
Silanum, socerum ftliae suae Crassum Frugi, hominem 
tarn similem sibi quam ovo ovum, Scriboniam socrum 
filiae suae, uxorem suam Messalinam et ceteros 
quorum numerus iniri non potuit, placet mihi in eum 
severe animadverti, nee illi rerum iudicandarum vaca- 
tionem dari, eumque quam primum exportari, et caelo 
intra triginta dies excedere, Olympo intra diem ter- 
tium." 

Pedibus in hanc sententiam itum est. Nee mora, 
Cyllenius ilium collo obtorto trahit ad inferos, a caelo 

"illuc 1 unde negant redire quemquam." 

12 Dum descendunt per viam sacram, interrogat Mer- 
curius, quid sibi velit ille concursus hominum, num 
Claudii funus esset. Et erat omnium formosissimum 
et impensa cura, plane ut scires deum efferri : tubici- 
num, cornicinum, omnis generis aenatorum tanta 
turba, tantus concentus, ut etiam Claudius audire 
posset. Omnes laeti, hilares : populus Romanus am- 
bulabat tanquam liber. Agatho et pauci causidici 
plorabant, sed plane ex animo. Iurisconsulti e 
tenebris procedebant, pallidi, graciles, vix animam 
habentes, tanquam qui turn maxime reviviscerent 
1 Added by Buecheler. 
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APOCOLOCYNTOSIS 

honourably among you, if I have never given plain 
speech to any, avenge my wrongs. This is my 
motion" : then he read out his amendment, which he 
had committed to writing: * Inasmuch as the blessed 
Claudius murdered his father-in-law Appius Silanus, 
his two sons-in-law, Pompeius Magnus and L. Silanus, 
Crassus Frugi his daughter's father-in-law, as like him 
as two eggs in a basket, Scribonia his daughter's 
mother-in-law, his wife Messalina, and others too 
numerous to mention ; I propose that strong measures 
be taken against him, that he be allowed no delay of 
process, that immediate sentence of banishment be 
passed on him, that he be deported from heaven 
within thirty days, and from Olympus within thirty 
hours." 

A division was taken upon this without further 
debate. Not a moment was lost: Mercury got a 
grip of his throat, and haled him to the lower regions, 
to that bourne from which they say no traveller 
returns." 1 As they passed downwards along the 12 
Sacred Way, Mercury asked what was that great con- 
course of men ? could it be Claudius* funeral ? It was 
certainly a most gorgeous spectacle, got up regardless 
of expense, clear it was that a god was being borne to 
the grave : tootling of flutes, roaring of horns, an im- 
mense brass band of all sorts, such a din that even 
Claudius could hear it. Joy and rejoicing on every 
side, the Roman people walking about like free men. 
Agatho and a few pettifoggers were weeping for grief, 
and for once in a way they meant it. The Barristers 
were crawling out of their dark corners, pale and thin, 
with hardly a breath in their bodies, as though just 
coming to* life again. One of them when he saw the 
1 Catullus iii, 12. 

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LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA 

Ex his unus cum vidisset capita conferentes et 

fortunas suas deplorantes causidicos, accedit et ait: 
dicebam vobis: non semper Saturnalia erunt." 
Claudius ut vidit funus suum, intellexit se mor- 

tuum esse. Ingenti eum fuydkq) xw*? nenia canta- 

batur anapaestis: 

Fundite fletus, edite planctus, 
resonet tristi clamore forum : 
cecidit pulchre cordatus homo, 
quo non alius fuit in toto 
fortior orbe. 
Ille citato vincere cursu 
poterat celeres, ille rebelles 
fundere Parthos levibusque sequi 
Persida telis, certaque manu 
tendere nervum, qui praecipites 
vulnere parvo figeret hostes, 
pictaque Medi terga fugacis. 
Ille Britannos ultra noti 
litora ponti 

et caeruleos scuta Brigantas 
dare Romuleis colla catenis 
iussit et ipsum nova Romanae 
iura securis tremere Oceanum. 
Deflete virum, quo non alius 
potuit citius discere causas, 
una tantum parte audita, 
saepe ne utra. Quis nunc iudex 
toto lites audiet anno? 
Tibi iam cedet sede relic ta, 
qui dat populo iura silenti, 
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APOCOLOCYNTOSIS 
pettifoggers putting their heads together, and lament- 
ing their sad lot, up comes he and says: "Did not I 
tell you the Saturnalia could not last for ever?" 

When Claudius saw his own funeral train, he 
realized that he was dead. For they were chanting 
his dirge in anapaests, with much mopping and mouth- 
ing: 

Pour forth your laments, your sorrow declare, 
Let the sounds of grief rise high in the air : 
For he that is dead had a wit most keen, 
Was bravest of all that on earth have been. 
Racehorses are nothing to his swift feet : 
Rebellious Parthians he did defeat ; 
Swift after the Persians his light shafts go : 
For he well knew how to fit arrow to bow, 
Swiftly the striped barbarians fled : 
With one little wound he shot them dead. 
And the Britons beyond in their unknown seas, 
Blue-shielded Brigantians too, all these 
He chained by the neck as the Romans' slaves. 
He terrified Ocean with all his waves, 
Made fear a new master to lay down the law. 
O weep for the man ! This world never saw 
One quicker a troublesome suit to decide, 
When only one part of the case had been tried, 
(He could do it indeed and not hear either side). 
Who'll now sit in judgment the whole year round? 
Now he that is judge of the shades underground 

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LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA 

Cretaea tenens oppida centum. 
Caedite maestis pectora palmis, 
o causidici, venale genus. 
Vosque poetae lugete novi, 
vosque in primis qui concusso 
magna parastis lucra fritillo." 

1 3 Delectabatur laudibus suis Claudius, et cupiebat diutius 

spectare. Inicit illi manum Talthybius deorum 1 et 

trahit capite obvoluto, ne quis eum possit agnoscere, 

per campum Martium, et inter Tiberim et viam tectam 

descendit ad inferos. Antecesserat iam compendiaria 

Narcissus libertus ad patronum excipiendum, et veni- 

enti nitidus, ut erat a balineo, occurrit et ait : Quid 

di ad homines?" celerius" inquit Mercurius et 

venire nos nuntia." Dicto citius Narcissus evolat. 

Omnia proclivia sunt, facile descenditur. Itaque 

quamvis podagricfcs esset, momento temporis pervenit 

ad ianuam Ditis, ubi iacebat Cerberus vel ut ait Hora- 

tius "belua centiceps." Pusillum perturbatur — subal- 

bam canem in deliciis habere adsueverat — ut ilium 

vidit canem nigrum, villosum, sane non quern velis 

tibi in tenebris occurrere, et magna voce Claudius" 

inquit "veniet." Cum plausu procedunt cantantes: 

cvpnf)Ka[A€v, (rvyxatptopcv. 2 Hie erat C. Silius consul 

designate, Iuncus praetorius, Sex. Traulus, M. Hel- 

1 The MSS. add nuntius. 
5 Buecheler alters the MS. reading to <rvyx<Llpofi€v, the actua 
word of the cry. 
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APOCOLOCYNTOSIS 

Once ruler of fivescore cities in Crete, 
Must yield to his better and take a back seat. 
Mourn, mourn, pettifoggers, ye venal crew, 
And you, minor poets, woe, woe is to you ! 
And you above all, who get rich quick 
By the rattle of dice and the three card trick." 
Claudius was charmed to hear his own praises sung, 1 3 
and would have stayed longer to see the show. But 
the Talthybius * of the gods laid a hand on him, and 
led him across the Campus Martius, first wrapping his 
head up close that no one might know him, until be- 
twixt Tiber and the Subway he went down to the 
lower regions. His freedman Narcissus had gone 
down before him by a short cut, ready to welcome his 
master. Out he comes to meet him, smooth and 
shining (he had just left the bath), and says he: 
"What make the gods among mortals?" "Look 
alive," says Mercury, "go and tell them we are 
coming." Away he flew, quicker than tongue can tell 
it. It is easy going by that road, all down hill. So 
although Claudius had a touch of the gout, in a trice 
they were come to Dis's door. There lay Cerberus, 
or, as Horace puts it, the hundred-headed monster. J^"' 
Claudius was a trifle perturbed (it was a little white 
bitch he used to keep for a pet) when he spied this 
black shag-haired hound, not at all the kind of thing 
you could wish to meet in the dark. In a loud voice 
he cried, Claudius is coming!" All marched before 
him singing, "The lost is found, O let us rejoice 
together ! " 2 Here were found C. Silius consul elect, 
Juncus the ex-praetor, Sextus Traulus, M. Helvius, 

1 Talthybius was a herald, and nuntius is obviously a gloss 
on this. He means Mercury. 

2 With a slight change, a cry used in the worship of Osiris. 

DD 401 



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LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA 

vius, Trogus, Cotta, Vettius Valens, Fabius equites R. 

quos Narcissus duci iusserat. Medius erat in hac 

cantantium turba Mnester pantomimus, quern Claudius 

decoris causa minorem fecerat. Ad Messalinam — cito 

rumor percrebuit Claudium venisse — convolant : primi 

omnium liberti Polybius, Myron, Harpocras, Amphae- 

us, Pheronactus, quos Claudius omnes, necubi Impara- 

tus esset, praemiserat. Deinde praefecti duo Iustus 

Catonius et Rufrius Pollio. Deinde amici Sat u minus 

Lusius et Pedo Pompeius et Lupus et Celer Asinius 

consulares. Novissime fratris filia, sororis filia, generic 

soceri, socrus, omnes plane consanguinei. Et agmine 

facto Claudio occurrunt. Quos cum vidisset Claudius, 

exclamat : irdvra <f>i\<t>v irXripq quomodo hue venistis 

vos?" Turn Pedo Pompeius : "Quid dicis, homo crude- 

lissime? Quaeris, quomodo? Quis enim nos alius hue 

misit quam tu, omnium amicorum interfector? In ius 

eamus, ego tibi hie sellas ostendam." 

14 Ducit ilium ad tribunal Aeaci : is lege Cornelia quae 

de sicariis lata est, quaerebat. Postulate nomen eius 

recipiat; edit subscriptionem : occisos senatores 

XXXV, equites R. CCXXI, ceteros 6o-a ipdfjuados tc 

#covts T€. Advocatum non invenit. Tandem procedit 

P. Petronius, vetus convictor eius, homo Claudiana 

lingua disertus, et postulat advocationem. Non datur. 

Accusat Pedo Pompeius magnis clamoribus. Incipit 

patronus velle respondere. Aeacus, homo iustissimus, 
402 



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APOCOLOCYNTOSIS 

Trogus, Cotta, Vettius Valens, Fabius, Roman Knights, 
whom Narcissus had ordered for jexecution. In the 
midst of this chanting company was Mnester the 
mime, whom Claudius for honour's sake had made 
shorter by a head. The news was soon blown about 
that Claudius had come: to Messalina they throng: 
first his freedmen, Polybius, Myron, Harpocras, Am- 
phaeus, Pheronactus, all sent before him by Claudius 
that he might not be unattended anywhere ; next two 
prefects, Justus Catonius and Rufrius Pollius; then 
his friends, Saturninus Lusius and Pedo Pompeius and 
Lupus and Celer Asinius, these of consular rank ; last 
came his brother's daughter, his sister's daughter, 
sons-in-law, fathers and mothers-in-law, the whole 
family in fact. In a body they came to meet Claudius ; 
and when Claudius saw them, he exclaimed, Friends \ 

everywhere, on my word! How came you all here?" [ ' 
To this Pedo Pompeius answered, "What, cruel man? ,-J 
How came we here ? Who but you sent us, you, the'- » 
murderer of all the friends that ever you had ? To * 
court with you ! I'll show you wherVjtheir lordships 4 
sit." **"-**-^- . - -"" 

Pedo brings him before the judgement seat of 14 
Aeacus, who was holding court under the Lex Cornelia 
to try cases of murder and assassination. Pedo requests 
the judge to take the prisoner's name, and produces 
a summons with this charge: Senators killed, 35; 
Roman Knights, 221 ; others as the sands of the sea- 
shore for multitude. Claudius finds no counsel. At it. **, 385 
length out steps P. Petronius, an old chum of his, a 
finished scholar in the Claudian tongue, and claimed 
a remand. Not granted. Pedo Pompeius prosecutes 
with loud outcry. The counsel fpr the defence tries 
to reply ; but Aeacus, who is ttie soul of justice, will 
dd2 403 



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LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA 
.vetat, et ilium altera tantum parte audita condemnat 

et ait : <u*€ irddoi rd t cpc^c, Siktj k lOtla ykvoiro. In- 
gens silentium factum est. Stupebant omnes novitate 
rei attoniti, negabant hoc unquam factum. Claudio 
magis iniquum videbatur quam novum. De genere 
poenae diu disputatum est, quid ilium pati oporteret. 
Erant qui dicerent, Sisyphum satis diu laturam fecisse, 
Tantalum siti periturum nisi illi succurreretur, ali- 
quando Ixionis miseri rotam sufflaminandam. Non 
placult ulli ex veteribus missionem dari, ne vel Clau- 
dius unquam simile speraret. Placuit novam poenam^ 
constitui debere, excogitandum illi laborem irritum 
et alicuius cupiditatis speciem sine effectu. Turn 
Aeacus iubet ilium alea ludere pertuso fritillo. Et iam 
coeperat fugientes semper tesseras quaerere et nihil 
proficere. 

1 5 Nam quotiens missurus erat resonante fritillo, 

utraque subducto fugiebat tessera fundo. 

Cumque recollectos auderet mittere talos, 

fusuro similis semper semperque petenti, 
404 



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APOCOLOCYNTOSIS 

not have it. Aeacus hears the case against Claudius, 
refuses to hear the other side and passes sentence 
against him, quoting the line : 

"As he did, so be he done by, this is justice undented." l 

A great silence fell. Not a soul but was stupefied at 
this new way of managing matters ; they had never 
known anything like it before. It was no new thing 
to Claudius, yet he thought it unfair. There was a long 
discussion as to the punishment he ought to endure. 
Some said that Sisyphus had done his job of porterage 
long enough ; Tantalus would be dying of thirst, if 
he were not relieved ; the drag must be put at last on 
wretched Ixion's wheel. But it was determined not to 
let off any of the old stagers, lest Claudius should dare 
to hope for any such relief. It was agreed that some 
new punishment must be devised : they must devise 
some new task, something senseless, to suggest some 
craving without result. Then Aeacus decreed he 
should rattle dice for ever in a box with no bottom. 
At once the poor wretch began his fruitless task of 
hunting for the dice, which for ever slipped from his 
fingers. 

" For when he rattled with the box, and thought he 1 5 

now had got 'em, 
The little cubes would vanish thro* the perforated 

bottom. 
Then he would pick 'em up again, and once more set 

a-trying: 
The dice but served him the same trick : away they 

went a-flying. 
So still he tries, and still he fails ; still searching long 

he lingers; 

1 A proverbial line. 

405 



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LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA 

decepere fidem : refugit digitosque per ipsos 
fallax adsiduo dilabitur alea furto. 
Sic cum iam summi tanguntur culmina montis, 
irrita Sisyphio volvuntur pondera collo. 

Apparuit subito C. Caesar et petere ilium in servitu- 
tem coepit; producit testes, qui ilium viderant ab 
illo flagris, ferulis, colaphis vapulantem. Adiudicatur 
C. Caesari ; Caesar ilium Aeaco donat. Is Menandro 
liberto suo tradidit, ut a cognitionibus esset. 



406 



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APOCOLOCYNTOSIS 

And every time the tricksy things go slipping thro* 

his fingers. 
Just so when Sisyphus his rock once gets atop the 

mountain, 
To his dismay he sees it come down on his poor head 

bounding!" 

All on a sudden who should turn up but Caligula, 
and claims the man for a slave : brings witnesses, # 
who said they had seen him being flogged, caned, 
fisticuffed by him. He is handed over to Caligula, 
and Caligula makes him a present to Aeacus. Aeacus 
delivers him to his freedman Menander, to be his 
law-clerk. 



407 



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INDEX TO PETRONIUS 



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INDEX OF NAMES 

The references are to chapters in the English translation. The Frag- 
ments and Poems are indicated by numbers with the letter F or P re- 
spectively prefixed. 



Achilles, son of Peleus and Thetis; 
leader of the Greeks against Troy, 
59, 129 

Acrisius, father of Danae, was told 
by an oracle that her son would 
kill him. He therefore shut her up 
in a brazen tower; Zeus however 
visited her in the form of a shower 
of gold, and she became the 
mother of Perseus, 137 

Actium, a promontory in Acarnania, 
121 

Aeneas, son of Anchises and Venus ; 
hero of Virgil's Aeneid as mythical 
founder of Rome, 68 

Aethiopian, 102 

Aetna, a volcanic mountain in 
north-east Sicily, 122 

Africa, 48, 93, 117, 119, 125, 141 

African, 35, 119 

Agamemnon, a teacher of rhetoric, 3, 
6, 26, 28, 46, 48, 49, 50, 52, 65, 
69, 78 

Agamemnon, leader of the Greeks 
against Troy, 59 

Agatho, a perfumer, 74 

Ajax, son of Telamon; after the 
death of Achilles he was worsted 
in the contest for Achilles's arms 
by Odysseus, went mad, and, 
having killed a flock of sheep in 
madness, killed himself, 59 

Albucia, a character in the lost por- 
tion of Petronius, F6 

Alcibiades, son of Clinias and 
Dinomache, b. about 450 B.C.; 
pupil and friend of Socrates, by 
whom his life was saved at the 
battle of Potidaea, 432 B.C., and 
whom he saved at Delium, 424 
b«c., 128 

Alexandria, 31, 68 

Alps, 122, 123 

Amphitryon, son of Alcaeus king 
of Tiryns, and reputed father 
of Heracles by Alcmene his 
wife, who was visited by Zeus, 
123 

410 



Anacreon of Teos, lyric poet of the 
sixth century B.C., F20 

Apelles, a celebrated fourth century 
painter who lived at the court of 
Philip and Alexander 83, 88 

Apelles, an actor, 64 

Apennine, 124 

Apollo, 83, 89, 121, P21 

Apulia, 77 

Aquarius, 35, 39 

Arabian, 102, 119 

Aratus of Soli, an astronomer of 
the third century, author of the 
poems Phaenomena and Diose- 
meia, which Cicero translated, 
40 

Arbiter: Nero called Gaius Petro- 
nius " arbiter elegantiarum," and 
the author of the Satyricon 
is often cited as Petronius Arbiter, 
F4, 19, 21, 24 (in conjunction 
with the name Petronius) F7, 9, 
11, 12, 13, 25 

Ariadne, daughter of Minos, fled 
with Theseus to Naxos, where he 
left her; she was found by Diony- 
sus and became his bride, 138 

Arpinum, a town in Latium, birth- 
place of Cicero, F4 

Ascyltos, companion of Encolpius 
and Giton, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 
14, 15, 19, 20, 21, 22, 24, 57, 58, 
59, 72, 79, 80, 92, 94, 97. 98, 133 

Asia, 2, 44, 75, 85 

Asiatic, 44 

Assafoetida, a musical play no 
longer extant, 35 

Atellane, 53, 68 

Athena, 59 

Athenian, 135 

Athens, 2, 38 

Athos, a mountain at the extremity 
of the peninsula Acte in Mace- 
donia, P3 

Atreus, father of Menelaus, 108 

Attic, 38 

Augustus, first emperor of Rome, 
b. 63 b.c, d. 14 A.D., 57, 60, 
71 



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INDEX OF NAMES 



B 



Babylonian, 55 

Bacchus, 41, 133, 135, P3 

Baiae, 53, 104 

Bargates, keeper of a lodging-house, 

06,97 
Bellona, wife of Mats and goddess 

of war, 124 
Bosporus, a strait between the sea 

of Azof and the Black Sea, 123 
Bull, 35 



Caesar, Caius Julius, b. 102, d. 44 
b.c , 51, 76, 122, 123, 124 

Calchas, a prophet in the Greek 
army before Troy, who foretold 
the length of the war, 80 

Canidia, a witch in Horace, F3 

Canopus, a city on the coast of 
Lower Egypt, near the western 
mouth of the Nile, P6 

Capitol, 88, 122 

Cappadocian, 63 

Capricornus, 35, 30 

Capua, chief city of Campania; a 
Roman colony, 61 

Cario, a slave of Trimalchio, 70, 71 

Carpus (Carver), a slave of Trimal- 
chio, 36, 40 

Carthage, 55, 117 

Cassandra, a prophetess in Troy 
whom Apollo, angry at her re- 
sistance to him, made the Trojans 
disbelieve, 52, 74 

Cato, Marcus Uticensis, b. 05 b.c; 
committed suicide at Utica, 
46 b.c, after the defeat of the 
Pompeians by Caesar at Thapsus, 
110, 132, 137 

Caucasus, a chain of mountains 
running from the east of the Black 
Sea to the west of the Caspian, 
123 

Cerberus, the dog that guarded the 
entrance to Hades, F8 

Cerdo (Gain), a Lar or tutelary 
spirit of Trimalchio's house, with 
Felicio (Luck) and Lucrio (Profit), 
60 

Ceres, a goddess of the earth and its 
fruits, 135, P3 

Chrysanthus, a citizen of Cumae, 



Chrysippus, of Soli, b. 280 B.C., a 
Stoic philosopher, 88 

Chrysis, a woman of Croton, 128, 
120, 130, 131, 132, 138, 130 

Cicero, Marcus Tullius, of Arpinum, 
orator, b. 106, d. 43 b.c. 3, 5, 55 

Cinnamus, steward to Trimalchio, 
30 

Circe, a woman loved by Encolpius, 
127, 120, 130, 134 

Cocytus, one of the six rivers of 
Hades, 120, 121, 124 

Colchis, in Asia: pheasants found on 
the banks of its principal river, 
the Phasis, were a favourite deli- 
cacy in Rome, 03 

Corax, a servant of Encolpius, 117, 
140 

Corinth, 50, 110 

Corinthian, 31,50 

Corinthus, 50 

Corycian; there were cities named 
Corycus in Ionia, Pamphylia, and 
Cilicia, P8 

Cosmian, see under Cosmus, F18 

Cosmus, a celebrated perfumer, 
F18 

Crab, 85, 30 

Crassus, Marcus, surnamed Dives, 
famous for bis wealth; triumvir 
with Caesar and Pompey 60 b.c, 
120 

Croesus, Trimalchio's favourite, 64 

Croton, a town in Bruttium, where 
Pythagoras taught, and of which 
the athlete Milo was a native, 116, 
124 

Cumae, a town in Campania; the 
scene of Trimalchio's dinner, 53 

Curio, 124 ; see note ad loc. 

Cyclops; Cyclopes were a race of 
giant one-eyed shepherds in 
Sicily whom Odysseus encoun- 
tered, 48, 07, 08 

Cyllene, a mountain on the fron- 
tier of Arcadia and Achaia, 124 

Cynic; the Cynic school of philo- 
sophy was f oundedby Antisthenes, 
a pupil of Gorgias and Socrates, 
14 

Cynthia, a name of Artemis, who 
was born on Mount Cyntbus in 
Delos, 122 

Cyrene, the chief city of Cyrenaica, 
of which Callimacbus was a 
native, 135 

411 



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INDEX OF NAMES 



D 



Daedalus, fattier of Icarus, 52 
Daedalus, Trimalchio's cook, 70, 

74 
Dama, a guest of Trimalchio, 41 
Danae, see under Acrisius, 126, 137 
Danube, P6 
Daphne, a beautiful girl of Arcadia 

who was pursued by Apollo and 

changed into a laurel bush, 131 
Delia, a name of Artemis, who was 

born in Delos, P21 
Deliacus, an epithet of Apollo, who 

was born in Delos, 23 
Delphi, a town in Phocis, the seat 

of the most famous oracle of 

Apollo, P18, 21 
Delphic, 122 
Democritus of Abdera, b. about 

460 b.c, who with Leucippus 

founded the atomic philosophy 

which inspired Lucretius, 88 
Demosthenes, the orator, b about 

385 b.c, d. 322 b.c , 2, 5 
Diana, goddess of light and fruit- 
fulness, 59, 126 
Dicarchis, 120 
Diogenes, Caius Pompeius, a guest 

of Trimalchio, 38 
Diomede, son of Tydeus and 

Deipyle, and king of Argos: he 

took eighty ships to the siege of 

Troy, 59 
Dione, mother of Aphrodite by 

Zeus, 124, 133 
Dionysus, a slave of Trimalchio, 

41 
Dis is identified with Pluto, the god 

of Hades, 120, 124 
Doris, a mistress of Encolpius, 126 
Dryads, tree nymphs, 133 



Bchion, a guest of Trimalchio, 45 

Egyptian, 2, 35, F19 

Encolpius, the narrator of the 

Satyricon, 20, 91, 92, 94, 102, 

104, 105, 109, 114 
Ephesus, the greatest city of Asia 

Minor, 70, 111 
Epicurus, of Gargettus in Attica, 

philosopher, b. 342, d. 270 b.c, 

104, 132 

412 



Epidamnus, the older name of 
Dyrrhachium, 124; see note ad he. 

Erebus, the darkness under the 
earth through which souls pass to 
Hades, 124 

Ethiopians, 34 

Eudoxus, of Cnidus, a fourthcentury 
astronomer and geometer, pupil 
of Archytas and Plato whose 
prose work Phaenomena was ver- 
sified by Aratus, 88 

Eumolpus, an old poet, 90, 91, 92, 
94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 
102, 103, 104, 105, 107, 108, 109, 
110, 113, 115, 117, 118, 124, 125, 
132, 140 . 

Euripides, of Athens, tragic poet, 
b. 480, d. 406 b.c, 2 

Euscios, a character in the lost por- 
tion of Petronius, F8 



Falernian, The Falernus Ager, in 

Campania, was celebrated for its 

wine, 21, 28, 34, 55 
Fates, 29 

Felicio (Luck) ; see under Cerdo, 60 
Fortunata, wife of Trimalchio, 37, 

47, 52, 54, 67, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 

75,76 



Gains, master of Niceros, 62 
Gaius, praenomen of Trimalchio, 67, 

74,75 
Gallic, Fl 
Ganymede, son of Tros and Callir- 

rhoe, carried off from Mount Ida 

by an eagle to be the cupbearer 

of Jupiter, 44, 59, 92 
Gaul, 103, 122 
Gauls, 122 
Gavilla, a householder of Cumae, 

61 
German, 123 
Germans, 122 
Giants, children of Ge, the earth, 

who attempted to drive out the 

Gods from Olympus, 123 
Giton, companion of Encolpius and 

Ascyltos, 9, 16, 18, 20, 24, 25, 26, 

58, 60, 72, 73, 79, 91, 92, 93, 94, 



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INDEX OF NAMES 



96, 07, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 104, 
105, 106, 108, 109, 110, 113, 114, 
115, 117, 128, 129, 130, 132, 133, 
139 

Glyco, a rich man of Cumae, 49 

Gorgias, an undertaker in Croton, 
141 

Greece, 5 

Greek, 46, 48, 53, 59, 64, 76, 81, 83, 
111, 122 

Greeks, 38, 88, 89 



Habinnas, friend of Trimalchio, 65. 

67, 68, 69, 71, 72, 74, 75, 77 
Hammon, an oasis twelve days' 

journey from Memphis; the 

famous oracle of Zeus Amnion 

was established there, 119 
Hannibal, b. 247 B.C., d. about 

183 b.c; leader of Carthage 

against Rome in the Second 

Punic War, 50, 101, 141 
Harpies, daughters of Thaumas and 

the Oceanid Electra, birds with 

women's faces, 136 
Hecale, 135 ; see note ad loc. 
Hedyle, wife of Lichas, 113 
Helen, wife of Menelaus, carried off 

by Paris, a type of beauty, 59, 138 
Helicon, a mountain range in 

Boeotia, sacred to Apollo and the 

Muses, 118 
Hellespontine, an epithet of Priapus, 

q.v., 139, F4 
Hercules, son of Zeus and Alcmcne, 

hero of twelve labours, 48, 83, 106, 

122, 136, P28 
Hermeros, a gladiator, 59 
Hermogenes, father of Glyco's wife, 

45 
Hesperia, a Greek name for Italy 

as the land to the west of Greece, 

122 
Hesus, a passenger on Lichas's ship, 

104 
Hipparchus, of Nicaea, a great 

astronomer of the second century 

b.c, 40 
Homer, traditional author of the 

Iliad and Odyssey, 2, 48, 59, 118 
Horace, of Venusia in Apulia, lyric 

poet, b. 65, d. 8 b.c, 118, F19, 22 
Hybla, a town on the southern 

slope of Mt. Aetna, P29 



Hydaspes, the northernmost of the 
five tributaries of the Indus, 123 

Hylas, accompanied Hercules, who 
loved him, with the Argonauts. 
On the coast of Mysia the Naiads , 
because of his beauty, drew him 
down into a fountain and 
drowned him, 83 

Hypaepa, a city in Lydia, 133 

Hyperides, an orator of the fourth 
century, pupil of Isocrates; d. 
322 b.c, 2 

Hyrcanian; Hyrcania was a pro- 
vince of the Persian Empire south 
of the Caspian sea, 134 



I 
Iberia, a Greek name of Spain, 121 
Ida, a mountain range in the Troad, 

from which Ganymede was carried 

off by the eagle of Jupiter, 83, 89, 

134 
Iliad, 29 ; see under Homer 
Ilium, 50 
Inachian, Inachus was the mythical 

founder of Argos, and Heracles 

was driven from Argos by the 

wrath of Hera, 139 
India, 38, P18 
Indian, 135 
Iphigenia, daughter of Agamemnon 

and Clytemnestra, 59 
Italian, 114 
Italy, 116 



Jew, 69, P24 

Jews, 103 

Julius (Caesar), 120; see under 

Caesar 
Juno, 25, 139 
Jupiter, 44, 47, 51, 56, 58, 83, 88, 

122, 123, 126, 127, 137 



Labeo, Antistius, an eminent lawyer 

of republican views, b. 54 B.C., 

d. 17 a.d., 137 
Laenas, donor of a gladiatorial 

show, 29 
Laocoon, priest of Apollo in Troy, 

89 

413 



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INDEX OF NAMES 



Laomedon, king of Troy; Poseidon 
sent the sea to overflow the coun- 
try and a sea-monster to plague 
it, because Laomedon cheated 
the Gods, 139 

Lares, guardian spirits of the house, 
00 ; see under Gain 

Latin, 46, 48, 55, 59, P18 

Leda, wife of Tyndareus, king of 
Sparta, and mother by Zeus of 
Helen and Castor and Pollux, 
138 

Lentulus ; see note on 123, 124 

Lesbos, an island in the Aegean off 
the coast of Mysia, 133 

Libra, 35, 39 

Libya, 121 

Libyan, 120 

Lichas, a ship's captain, 100, 101, 
104, 105, 106, 107, 109, 110, 113, 
114, 115 

Lucilius, b. 148, d. 103 B.C. ; author 
of Satires in thirty books, of 
which only fragments are extant, 
4 

Lucina, the goddess of childbirth, 
P17 

Lucretia, wife of L. Tarquinius Col- 
latinus, was violated by Sextus 
Tarquinius, son of the tyrant L. 
Tarquinius Superbus. This is 
the traditional reason for the 
deposition of the tyrant and the 
establishment of the Roman Re- 
public, 9 

Lucrine; the Lucrine Lake was a 
salt-water lake near the coast of 
Campania, famous for its oysters, 
119 

Lucrio (Profit); 5 ee under Cerdo, 60 

Lycurgus, 83, 117 

Lydian, 133 

Lysippus, a sculptor of the fourth 
century, whose works have 
perished. He was given the sole 
right of making statues of Alex- 
ander, 88 

M 

Macedonian, 86 

Maecenas, the master by whom 

Trimalchio was freed, 71 
Maeonian, Homeric; one tradition 

says that Homer was the son of 

Maeon, 5 
Magnus, a title conferred by Sulla 

414 



on Pompey after his defeat of 
the adherents of Marius in Africa, 
81 B.c, 124 

Mammaea, a rich citizen of Cumae, 
45 

Mantua, in Gallia Transpadana, 
near which was the birthplace of 
Virgil, q.v., F4 

Marcellus, see note on 123, 124 

Marcus Mannicius, owner of a 

• lodging-house, 95 

Margarita (Pearl), a dog belonging to 
Croesus, Trimalchio's favourite, 46 

Mars, 34, 55, 124, P23 

Marsyas, a satyr who challenged 
Apollo to a musical contest, and 
on being defeated was flayed by 
him, 36 

Martia, a girl whom Petronius loved, 
P20 

Massa, a slave of Habinnas, 69 

Massilia, the Greek city on whose 
site Marseilles stands, Fl, 4 

Medea, daughter of Aietes, king of 
Colchis; mistress of Jason, whose 
children by her she killed when 
he deserted her, 108 

Megaera, one of the Furies; the 
others are Tisiphone and Alecto, 
124 

Melissa, wife of Terentius, an inn- 
keeper, 61, 62 

Memphis, a famous city of Middle 
Egypt, F19 

Menecrates, a singer, 73 

Menelaus, a tutor, 27, 81 

Menophila, mistress of Philargynis, 
a slave, 70 

Mercury, 29, 67, 77, 140 

Midas, king of Phrygia; he was 
judge in a musical contest be- 
tween Pan and Apollo; on his 
preferring Pan, Apollo gave him 
ass's ears; Midas hid the ears 
under a cap, but the servant who 
cut his hair found them and could 
not keep the secret, PI 3 

Minerva, 29 

Mithridates, a slave of Trimalchio, 53 

Mopsus, one of the Argonauts, a 
famous seer, 55 

Mummius, 52 

Muse, 135 ; see under Muses 

Muses, the nine spirits who inspired 
astronomy, history, dancing, and 
poetry, 5, F20 



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INDEX OF NAMES 



Myron, a sculptor of the fifth cen- 
tury, b. about 480 B.C. at Eleu- 
therae in Boeotia, 88 



N 

Naiad, a nymph of fresh water, 83 

Naiads, Pll ; see under Naiad 

Naples, a city in Campania, F16 

Nasta, a bailiff on Trimalchio's 
estate at Pompeii, 53 

Nealce, a woman loved by Petro- 
nius, P26 

Neptune, 76, 89, 104, 139, P3 

Nereids, the fifty daughters of 
Nereus and Doris, sea-nymphs, 
F23 

Nereus, son of Pontus and Gaea, 
an old man of the sea with the gift 
of prophecy, 139 

Nicagoras, F25 

Niceros, a friend of Trimalchio, 01, 
63 

Nile, 121, 134 

Niobe, wife of Amphion, whose 
twelve children were killed by 
Apollo and Artemis because she 
boasted herself against their 
mother Leto. She was changed 
into a figure of stone which still 
wept for the children, 52 

Norbanus, a rich man of Cumae, 45, 
46 

Noricum, a province lying between 
North Italy and the Danube, 
celebrated for its iron manufac- 
tures, 70 

Numantia, a town in Hispania 
Tarraconensis, 141 

Numidia, a Roman province in 
Northern Africa, 117 

Nymph, 83 ; see wider Nymphs 

Nymphs, spirits of waters, moun- 
tains, and trees, 133 



Odyssey, 29; see under Homer 

Oenothea, a woman of Croton, 134, 
135, 136, 138 

Olympus, a mountain range bound- 
ing Thessaly and Macedonia, the 
traditional home of the Gods, 58, 
123 

Opimius, 34 ; see n. ad he. 



Palamedes, 66 

Palatine, the central hill of Rome, 
on which the fortress of Romulus 
was said by tradition to have been 
built, 123 

Pales, goddess of flocks and shep- 
herds, P8 

Pallas, a name of Athene, 124, P3, 
8 

Pannychis, a child attendant on 
Quartilla, 25 

Pansa, a rich man who left slaves to 
Trimalchio, 47 

Parentium, a town in Istria, 59 

Paris, son of Priam and Hecuba, 
husband of Oenone, and lover of 
Helen, 138 

Paros, one of the Cvclades Islands 
in the Aegean, famous for its 
marble, which was obtained 
chiefly from Mount Marpessa, 
126 

Parthenope, a name of Naples, which 
was founded on the site of an 
ancient town called Parthenope, 
120 

Parthian, 120 

Patavium, now Padua, in North 
Italy, the birthplace of Livy, F4 

Pegasus, the winged horse of Beller- 
ophon, 36 

Pelias, usurping king of Iolcus of- 
fended Juno by sacrilege, which 
at last wrought his undoing as she 
assisted Jason in his quest of the 
golden fleece, 139 

Penelope, wife of Odysseus, P14 

Pentheus, 47 ; see note ad he. 

Pergamum, in Asia Minor, capital of 
the Roman province of Asia, 85 

Persian, 119 

Petelia, a town on the east coast of 
Bruttium, 141 

Petraites, a gladiator, 52, 71 

Petronius, author of the Satyricon, 
quoted as author of isolated words 
and phrases, Fl, 2, 3, 5, 5b, 6, 7, 
8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 
18, 20, 22, 23, 25 

Phasis, 93, 119 ; see under Colchis 

Phidias, b. about 490> d. 432 B.C. ; 
the most celebrated sculptor of 
the fifth century, 88 

Philargyrus, a slave of Trimalchio, 
70 

415 



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INDEX OF NAMES 



u 



Ulysses, son of Laertes and Anticlea : 
husband of Penelope and hero of 
the Odyssey, 39, 48, 97, 105, 132, 
134, 139, P14 



Virgil, of Andes, near Mantua, 
author of the Eclogues, Georgics, 
and Aeneid, b. 70, d. 19 bx., 08, 
118 

Virgo, 39 



Vesta, the Italian goddess of the 

hearth, P9 
Venus, 29, 68, 85, 127, 128, 138, P23 



Zeuxis, of Heraclea, a celebrated 

painter of the fifth century, born | 

between 450 and 440 B.C., 83 ] 

Zodiac, 35 < 



tB 18 1916 



418 



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LETCH WORTH! AT THE ARDEN PRESS. 



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THE LOEB CLASSICAL LIBRARY 

VOLUMES ALREADY PUBLISHED* 

APOLLONIUS RHODIUS, translated by B. C. Seaton, 
of Jesus College, Cambridge. 1 volume. 

APPIAN'S ROMAN HISTORY, translated by Horace 
White, of New York. 4 volumes. 

CATULLUS, translated by F. W. Cornish, Vice^Provost 
of Eton College; T1BULLUS, translated by J. P. 
Postgate, of Liverpool University ; PERVIGILIUM 
VENERIS, translated by J. W. MackaU, formerly 
Professor of Poetry in the University of Oxford. 
1 volume. 

CICERO'S LETTERS TO ATTICUS, translated by E. 
O. Winstedt, of Magdalen College, Oxford, ^volumes. 
Volumes I and II. 

CICERO DE OFFICIIS, translated by Walter Miller. 
1 volume. 

DIO CASSIUS, ROMAN HISTORY, translated by E. 
Cary, of Princeton University. 9 volumes. Volumes 
I and II. 

EURIPIDES, translated by A. S. Way, of the University 
of London. 4 volumes. 

HORACE, ODES, translated by C. E. Bennett, of Cornell 
University. 1 volume. 

JULIAN,' translated by Wilmer Cave Wright, of Bryn 
Mawr College. 3 volumes. Volumes I and IT: 

LUCIAN, translated by A. M. Harmon, of Princeton 
University. 8 volumes. Volume I, 

PETRONIUS, translated by M- Heseltine, of New College, 
Oxford; SENECA, APOCOLOCYNTOSIS, trans- 
lated by W. H. D. Bouse. 1 volume. 

*AU volumes can be supplied separately. 



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PfllLOSTRATUS, THE LIFE OF APOLLONIUS OF 
TYANA* translated by F. C. Conybeare, of University 
College, Oxford. 2 volumes, 

PLATO, EUTHYPHRO, APOLOGY, CRJTO, PHAEDO, 
PHAEDRUS, translated by H. N. Fowler, 1 volume. 

PROPERTIUS, translated by B. E. Butler, of the 
University of London, 1 volume* 

QUINTUS SMYRNAEUS, translated by A. S. Way, of 
the University of London, 1 volume. 

ST. JOHN D AMASCENE, B ARLAAM AND IOASAPH, 
translated by Harold Mattingly and the Rev. G. R. 
Woodward. 1 volume, 

SOPHOCLES, translated by F % Storr, of Trinity College, 
Cambridge. 2 volumes. 

SUETONIUS, translated by J. C, Rolfe. 2 volumes. 
Volume I, 

TACITUS, DIALOGUS, translated by Wm. Peterson; 
AGRICOLA AND GERMANIA, translated by 
Maurice Hutton. 1 volume. 

TERENCE, translated by John Sergeaunt, •/ West- 
minster School. 2 volumes. 

THE APOSTOLIC FATHERS, translated by Kirsopp 
Lake, of the University of Leiden* 2 volumes. 

THE CONFESSIONS OF ST. AUGUSTINE, translated 
by W. Watts (1631). 2 volumes. 

THE GREEK BUCOLIC POETS (THEOCRITUS, 
BION, MOSCHUS), translated by J. M. Edmonds, 
of Jesus College, Cambridge. 1 volume. 



LONDON: WILLIAM HEINEMANN, 21 BEDFORD STREET 
NEW YORK: THE MACMILLAN CO., 64 FIFTH AVENUE 



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