Skip to main content

Full text of "TheCompleteMemoirsOfGeorgeSherston"

See other formats

condition into another more desirable one. Children
hanker to be grown-up because they want liberty.
But why should a young man who has inherited a net
income of about six hundred a year find it easy or
necessary to imagine himself as ten or twenty years
older? If I ever thought of myself as a man of thirty-
five it was a visualization of dreary decrepitude. The
word maturity had no meaning for me.   I did not
anticipate that I should become different; I should
only become oltkr. I cannot pretend that I aspired to
growing wiser.   I merely lived, and in that condition
I drifted from clay to day.   Ignorantly unqualified
to regulate the human mechanism which I was in
charge of, my self-protective instincts were continually
being contradicted by my spontaneously capricious
behaviour.  When Mr. Pcnnctt referred me to what
he called ^after-life", he was unaware that for me the
future was a matter of the four seasons of the year.
There was next autumn, and next winter, and after
that next spring. But this summer was the only thing
that I cared about. The phrase "after-life" was also
vaguely confused with going to church and not want-
ing to be dead -u perplexity which can be omitted
from a narrative in which 1 am doing my best to
confine myself to actual happenings.   At the age of
twenty-two 1 believed myself to be unextinguishable*


IT WAS a wet iiucl windy afternoon toward the end
of September. We wen: on our way home from a
seaside place in Devonshire, where we had been
staying for a change of air.  Aunt Evelyn was going
through a period of bad health, and her headaches