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the strong emotion underlying my narrative must
have been apparent. But I was so full of myself and
my new-made determination that I was quite sur-
prised when I saw that my story had affected him
strongly, and that it had caused him to remove his
spectacles and rub them rather more than was neces-
sary. He said little, however, and waited for me to
continue. With a bumping heart I asked him what
would happen if I persisted in my pacifist attitude.

"You will be kept here until the end of the War,"
he replied quietly. I then asked what would happen
if I went before a board for reconsideration of my
"mental condition". "I could only tell them that you
are not suffering from any form of psycho-neurosis,59
he answered, adding that if I asked for permanent
home-service I should probably get it. I then over-
heard myself—as though I were a third person in the
room—saying, rather hurriedly and not at all in the
grand manner, "I was getting things into focus a bit
while you were away and I see now that the only
thing for me to do is to get back to the front as quick
as I can. But what worries me is that I'm afraid of
the War Office doing me down somehow and shunt-
ing me off on to some home-service job, and if I can't
be passed for G.S. I won't be passed for anything at
all." I could see that he was pleased; but he said that
I must think it over and make quite sure that I meant
it. We could then discuss our plan of campaign to
wangle things with the War Office.

(He didn't actually use the word "wangle", but he
implied that it might not be altogether easy to "work
it" for me.) We then talked for a bit about other
things and did our best to forget that there was aiwar