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Full text of "The Pig Paper #03"

THE PIG PAPER NQ 3 

TRUE KINK KONFESSIONS 



PIG discovered Edgar Breau at the Ontario 
College of Art's "3D" concert. He 
impressed us with his unique pop views and 
konkrete Kink love during the between-set 
vinyl huddles. Soon afterwards, PIG found 
itself honkin' down the highway, headed to 
Hamilton, camera and microphone in hand. 
Inside the only house on Ferguson Avenue 
South, Edgar paused between Simply 
Saucer rehearsals to offer invaluable 
insights into Kinkdom. 

There are a lot of people in Hamilton who 
think of me everytime they hear about The 
Kinks. I turned on all my friends to them. It's 
like propaganda. It's a conspiracy, with a "K". 

I was the first one in Hamilton to get their 
records. My sister bought "A Well Respected 
Man" and I stole it off her. She was a Stones 
freak, and I was a Kinks freak. The feeling of 
hearing those songs for the first time, and what 
they did to me: It was like an electric shock, 
just as if I'd been plugged into a socket. Songs 
like "Tired Of Waiting For You" are immortal 
classics. The early Kinks were just beautiful. 

Ray Davies' voice was what hooked me in 
the very beginning. Just that voice: There was 
something strange about it. I'd never heard 
anybody sing like that. I remember camping out 
when I first heard "Days" on the radio. They 
didn't say who it was, but I just heard that 
voice: I knew it was The Kinks. I jumped up and 
into the swimming pool! I'd play it ten times in a 
row and just march around my room like a tin 
soldier. 

Those old days were great because you 
could get Kinks albums for 99 cents. I used to 
go to the record store and look at the back 
cover of the SOMETHING ELSE album 
because I couldn't afford to buy it. That was the 
turning point. 

Later on, when THE KINKS ARE THE 
VILLAGE GREEN PRESERVATION SOCIETY 
was released, my sister phoned u.p the radio 
station and threatened to bomb them if they 
didn't play it. Once the station had a phone-in 
program to determine Hamilton's Most Popular 
Band, so my friends and I decided to make The 
Kinks Number One. We stayed up all night 
putting handkerchiefs over the phone and dis- 
guising our voices. One moment we used real 
low voices, and one moment we were old 
ladies, saying how great The Kinks were. The 
announcer was going, "I can't believe it! There 
are more Kinks fans in this city than I ever 
thought possible. Hamilton's Most Popular 
Band: The Kinks! I thought they disappeared 
from the music scene years ago". Everytime 
the guy would say anything about The Kinks, 
we would dance around and scream and shout. 
When "Lola" came out, we wanted to make 
it Number One too. So once it started climbing 
up the charts, I got all my friends together and 
just bought, bought, bought. "Lola" had to get 
to the top because it was so great! 

Over there on the wall I have a picture of The 
Kinks playing The Hawk's Nest nightclub in 
Toronto. I'm in the audience! That was one of 
the first concerts I ever went to. I was just 
amazed. I loved that show more than anything 
because it was so screechingly loud. They . 
must've had their amplifiers on "Ten". All this 
feedback! There were tables, but we were sit- 
ting on the floor. That was one of the last shows 
where they did all their old stuff, like "All Day 
And All Of The Night", "The Last Of The Steam- 



Powered Trains", "Waterloo Sunset", "Sunny 
Afternoon", "Victoria". They did ten-minute 
versions of "Milk Cow Blues" and "You're 
Looking Fine". Dave Davies kept fixing his hair 
and going up to the front of the stage where all 
the chicks were screaming. I led the encore. I 
was yelling, "Ray Davies Is God!", and they 
were just looking at me, wondering what was 
going on. 

Each Kink is something special. Mick Avory 
is probably the greatest drummer ever. He's 
fabulous. Mick is The Kinks. He defines them. 
He's never changed. When I look at him, I think 
of THE KINKS GREATEST HITS album, and 
how I used to look at that and love it. 

I'd like to know what happened to John 
Dalton, though their new bass player, Andy 
Pyle, looks more like a Kink. Dalton probably 
got the whole band into beards. At one time, 
they were all wearing beards, except Ray. 
However, Ray was going to paint a moustache 
on his face once, and tour with Dave as The 
Dave Davies Band. Old Dave certainly is look- 
ing young these days. I'm still waiting for his 
solo album. Someday, Ray and Dave are going 
to kill each other, or at least stab each other. 

There is nobody who fascinates me more 
than Ray Davies. Whenever I see him sing 
"Celluloid Heroes", I want to cry, because I 
think he's going to cry. When they were on The 
Mike Douglas Show last month, we were all sit- 
ting in the living room watching, and I wanted to 
cry so much, but my sister and my mom were 
there. They'd think I was crazy! But when they 
played that song live in Toronto in 72, I cried, 
and not too many things can make me cry. 

As I was watching Ray on that Douglas 
show, I knew I was looking at a Star. He out- 
shone everybody he was sitting with, and they 
just shrivelled up. Ray was sitting next to Tony 
Bennett, and I was looking at them both and 
saying to myself, "Oh, Ray. Wow!" Ray was 
really putting Mike Douglas down, but Douglas 
deserved it. Here he had the greatest com- 
poser of the Twentieth Century, and maybe any 
other century, and he was saying, "How come 
you're not as flashy as Mick Jagger?". Ray just 
fixed his hair, smiled at the camera, and said 
"Ahhh. . ." 

I don't know. I guess Ray's just smarter than 
the rest. He always knew that there was some- 
thing behind it all. A touch of genius. He really 
understands people who aren't like everybody 
else, so he reached out and touched me. You 
see, being in a band, and being a fan: It's dif- 
ferent. I used to devote all my time to buying 
and thinking about records, and I used to really 
idolize people. Playing in Simply Saucer, it's not 
the same. Now I'm trying to do it all myself! 

I'm pretty conservative in a lot of my think- 
ing. The books I read are filled with old values 
and traditions, and that's what I believe in. I 
read fairy tales and fables; I don't like anything 
real. I read Lord Dunsany, George McDonald, 
OS. Lewis, Dorothy Sayers. The Kinks are a 
part of that. I don't know what Ray Davies 
reads. I asked him in a dream once if he'd read 
George McDonald, and Ray just said, "What of 
it?" That's great! I'm glad he said that. 

The Kinks avoided ever becoming a fad: 
They just kinda fade in and fade out. Their 
followers are so loyal, and they know The Kinks 
are worth keeping. I mean, if you can't keep 
something forever, why keep it for a year, or a 
week, or a minute? I'm not a believer in pro- 
gress. I think you've got to go back. People 




Edgar strikes a klassic Kink pose 



went wrong a long time ago: That's why it's 
futile. There's no point in it. Progress. That is 
such a misused word. "Progressive Rock": 
What does that mean? Hardly anybody's play- 
ing rock anymore, it's just one big stew. Nowa- 
days, you hear rock and roll, and no matter 
what it is, people like it, because there's 
nothing else. Before, you'd have a choice of 
who you liked, but now, anything that comes 
out, like punk rock, you like it because there's 
nothing else. 

No one can really touch Ray. You can forget 
about him for a while, and listen to other 
records, but you always come back, and he 
just tears you apart. The Troggs used to graft 
Kinks songs together. That's why I like them. 
You can read in all their biographies that their 
influences are "The Kinks". The Kinks have in- 
fluenced a lot of people, but they really don't 
get much credit. The Beatles seem to avoid 
ever mentioning Ray Davies' name. 

What's great about the SLEEPWALKER 
album is that they're rocking again, and they 
can out-rock everyone. It's 'way more commer- 
cial too: Everybody loves SLEEPWALKER when 
I play it for them. I play it, turn it up, and dance 
to it a lot. I just go crazy! This 1977 concert is 
going to be the greatest. I think everyone's go- 
ing to tear their hair out. We should all rush the 
stage. I want to bite them. My mom wants to 
see them. She's 57, and she loves The Kinks! 

My favourite Kinks song is "People Take Pic- 
tures Of Each Other", and my favourite 
albums, at this moment, are SLEEPWALKER 
and THE KINKS GREATEST HITS. Their most 
joyful song is "Till The End Of The Day". That's 
the song that makes me the happiest. Songs 
like "The World Keeps Going 'Round" have 
really helped me. What can I say? It's a mania. 
Just listen to the records. The world would be a 
better place if more people did. 

I know eight or nine people who will buy 
everything The Kinks ever release, from the be- 
ginning to eternity, because they know they're 
the best. When The PIG Paper phoned me, I feit 
honoured. 

If I ever met Ray Davies, all I'd say would be, 
"Thank you for the days". 



What you are holding is the third PIG Paper. 
Unlike our previous releases, "Who" and 
"Who Two", this is a monograph as op- 
posed to a magazine. But Kultists: DON'T 
YOU FRET! The PIG Papej~wj|l return soon 
with a Kinks kover stofyfrnoreiKink Konfes- 
sions, and a snappy, expanded format. Look 
for it soon in Ontario'sTiner jecprd bars, or 
reserve your copy now hy "writing, PIG PRO- 
DUCTIONS, 70 COTTON DRIVE, MISSIS- 
SAUGA, ONTARIO, L5G 1Z9 on a stamped 
enveloped. And if you'd like extra copies of 
PIG Papers One, Two, and Three, or wish to 
komment or kontribute to Number Four, use 
the same address. Just Remember: THE 
STY'S THE LIMIT! KINKS REIGN. OK