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Full text of "The Pig Paper #05"

aieSCHWtmiettung 

THE PIG PAPER 

orotected widelv bv oatents ana oatent aDDlications throughout the world ' - - ^™ ^^^. I 



widely bv patents and 
l!frN[fcD4Q"rty5jShfla 



ANdIA "AlfrN'tlWrty W SW)3421 1 



NO. 




AU6UST &§ 
1977 91 



UK: 



NEW 

wave: 




featuring 




MEWS 

siMPivsmn 

THtSMHTS 
ntMGtHMD 

I lift. I IllWtainwu 

MTOUBWIVtS 

maim 

ffl PISTOLS 

m viimwts 

The Beach Boys The Delete lone 
Imwvisational Ironing 

and more 



© 



1 



STY: 

Editor: GARY PIG 



Contributing Editors? 

CINDY PIG 

ROCK S^RLING 
Acquisitions Officer: 

I.MANTS 
Translator: 

JUTTA FERKEL 
Photography: 

MARGARET TRUDEAU 
Missing In Action: 

JOHNNY PIG 

The Entire Contents Of 
The PIG Paper Number 5 
Is Copyrighted © 1977 
By PIG PRODUCTIONS INC. 
All Rights Reserved And 
Unauthorized Reproduction 
Is Still Frowned Upon 



& '& C* Cfr Cfr C* 
mm mm mum 

The Fifth PIG Paper has finally been issued, 
several months behind schedule as always but 
more than worth the wait. It wouldn't be here 
had It not been for the hospitality of Don, 
Barb, and Colleen Thompson, and the kash of 
Rock Serllng. Let me just remind you all 
that if you have a band, record, fanzine, 
event or whatever you want plugged, or have 
any fiction, non-fiction, gossip, reviews, 
Interviews, photography, artwork, or comments 
you'd like to see In print, or require back 
issues of PIG Papers One, Two, or Three at a 
buck apiece (regarding PIG Paper #4, "Kinks": 
Kultists - stop your sobbing. You haven't 
missed it coz we haven't done it yet), write 
PIG PRODUCTIONS /-> tff^A 

70 COTTON DRIVE HflJuLY/fM 

mississauga xs^jprxszs 

ONTARIO, CANADA L5G 1Z9 



limits f ROM WtSMIS 



Dear Cindy, 

Thanx for your lovely letter. We 
used to like The Ramones but now 
you're our f ave . Imants should have 
his copy of the album by now so 
you've probably heard it. At the 
moment we 're not sure when we 're 
going to be able to get to Canada as 
we're going to the UK for a couple 
of months in a fortnight. Anyway 
thanx again. See you soon (maybe). 

Luv, 

The Saints 
Sorry this was so long in coming 
but we've been pretty busy 
lately. The album should be out 
over there in about 6-8 weeks 
on Sire records. 



PS 



released in Canada. Easybeats 
records have unfortunately 
all been deleted and you 
can't have my copies. The 
only other band I like are 
RADIO BIRDMAN and you can get 
their EP by sending $2 to 

RADIO BIRDMAN 

P0 Box lh 

North Sydney 

N.S.W. 2060 

Australia 
A North American is on the 
cards near the end of the 
year so hopefully see you 

then. 

Luv, 
The Saints 



Dear Imants, 

Thanks for writing. In answer to 
your questions: We've just had our 
first album released over here. It 
should be out in Canada in about a 
month or so. It's called (I'M) 
STRANDED. 

I don 't know of any stores who 
export the records you mentioned . 
AC/DC as far as I know have been 



Yes, We STILL Print Your 
Letters I 

Write PIG PRODUCTIONS at 
the address above and see 
yourself in black and white 



PIG PUNK PftRT 

Oflfc 



FIRST IN AN EXCLUSIVE SERIES ty 6ARV f /fi 




continue to outrun the competition on the Toronto see 
STEVE and NICK triumphantly returned from their headl 
punk palace GBGBs for a two-niter at Toronto's own ad 
Burn. Both of their sets had something to offer even 
new waves: During Set 1, frontman FRANKIE exposed hi 
that? A film crew from local TV station CFTO of cour 
C&B stage during Set 2 and captured HEAD, plus voppin 
CHORDS singer MARVIN GOODAMAN, on celluloid. The nex 
coast-to-coast on The CTV National News. Soon afterw 
entered a Toronto recording studio to commit to polyv 
are soon to make them legends. 



ne. FRANKIE, GORD, 
ining weekend at NYC's 
hoc dive the Crash 'n • 
the most seasoned of 
s bum. What could top 
se, who invaded the 
g MARTIN AND THE E- 
t night, punk aired 
ards, TEENAGE HEAD 
inyl the sounds which 



simply sma 



landed May 20 1977 
the country's firs 
except in reverent 
EDGAR (star of PIG 
rehearsal faciliti 
to reveal themselv 
total overshadowin 
TEENAGE HEAD, the 
Until then, keep a 



at The Masonic Temple in Toronto to kick off RockShock, 
t all-punk concert. They haven't been heard of since 

and inquisitive whispers along the groupvine. Why? 

Paper #3), ALEX, KEVIN and DON are busy in their 
es preparing for a re-emergence this fall, and don't care 
es till everything is 100# flawless. Judging from their 
g of the other RockShock offerings, JOHNNY LOVESIN and 
SAUCER can't help but hover high upon their return, 
n eye on the sky. 



is nxsmts 

are one punk band that live up to its label: Who else secure gigs by 
threatening to blow up any club that doesn't hire them? At presstime, the 
C&B Staff are still deep in their bunkers, as THE PINSTEADS remain so 
mysterious as to leal some to believe they are actually KLATTU. They 
promise a SYD BARRETT -produced EP any day now, and are reportedly 
negotiating their concert, debut, to take place in Toronto's Beverly Tavern 
sometime during April 1979. Can you wait? 



m mnmts 



known alternately as THE VILES, THE TONES, and even NAZI DOG'S VILETONES, 
have come a long way since being the only punk outfit to play the strictly- 
rock PIcadilly Tube nitery way back in the pre-C&B era circa Spring '77. 
They shared the CBGBs bill with TEENAGE HEAD, and THE CURSE, and THE DENTS, 
and THE DIODES, and... , plus share, as manager, PAUL KASH KOBAK of Star 
Records fame. MIKE, JACKIE, FREDDIE and NAZI are subsequently basking in 
media attention of BEATLE porportions, but nonetheless continue to be a, 
productive part of the wave they helped create, and only good things lie 
ahead, as well as in their wake. 



linns mm 



survive. They've teen booted out of a Beverly gig (for attracting too 
many people.'), fallen victim to equip rippers, had vhat was left of their 
PA ravaged by NAZI DOG, and had their own club, the short-lived Homemade 
Theatre, squeezed out of existence thanks to a Dry or Die decree from the 
Liquor Control Board. Undaunted, TOBY, ROBERT and COLIN promise to mount 
another stage, if they can find an empty one, with their danceable doses 
of Merseybeat and soon-to-be -nuggets from the ever-growing WIVES wepetoire 
The trio gained further notoriety when they recently became the recipients 
of the coveted PIG Band Of The Month Award from the hands of MARVIN 
GOODAMAN Himself. So, wherever THE WIVES surface next, you can be sure 
that'll be Where The Action Is. 



WlCURSi 



began life as THE SHANGRI-LAS but are quickly becoming the new wave's 
leading spokeswomen. MICKEY, TRIXIE, DOCTOR and PATSY remain the only 
band who've ever opened for THE VILETONES and lived to laugh about it: 
Proof positive these girls know what they're doing • Currently caught in 
the late summer gig scarcity, THE CURSE spend their days polishing up 
their showstopping rendition of "Eve Of Destruction", and their nights 
commanding the bar at the C&B, where TRIXIE busily denies she was ever in 
ROUGH TRADE and MICKEY demonstrates the latest gyrations direct from the 
pages of Rock Scene magazine. Yes, definately bonafide trendsetters and 
worth watching for everywhere. 



QrcvcSUjPu^S 



IMPROVISATK) 
IRONING. NAL 



"(RE) DISCOVERING THE EEACH BOYS" 
PART ONE: 

While breaking my fast with 
The Viletoasts at the Guild 
Restaurant (l?8 Carlton Street, 
Toronto) last Sunday evening, I 
heard the familiar strains of 
"Good Vibrations" eminating from 
the antique jukebox at the next 
table . It suddenly struck me 
over the head that, despite the 
wasp-wasted faces The Viletoasts 
were making in the general 



direction of the music, It 
was truly magnificent. I 
decided to investigate further 
when I arrived uptown later. 

I made my way past the 
disco bin and ether unmentionable 
obscenities to the "B" section. 
Since I had no money I just 
looked . 

NEXT ISSUE: I interview David 
Marks, ex-Beach Boy. 



ANARCHY « CANADA 

Dateline PORT CREDIT August 14, 1977 - It was announced today from the offices of PIG 
Productions that their own PIG Records has won the right to exclusively distribute in 
Canada all forthcoming releases by the notorious British "punk rock" band The Sex 
Pistols. The quartet's first release in this country will be their recent UK chart- 
topper "God Save The Queen". 

Many figures in the recording Industry expressed amazement that the comparatively 
new and tiny PIG company beat out such long-established labels as Capitol Records Of 
Canada and Boot Records Incorporated in the war to sign the Pistols, Apparently, 
credit for the scoop belongs to PIG's noted acquisitions officer I.Mants. 

"We had a hell of a time, but I believe it was well worth it", said Mants from 
his luxurious Hamilville penthouse complex, "We had a terrific scrap with some of the 
competition, especially True North Records who were determined to be the first 
Canadian punk label". 

Following the release of "God Save The Queen", which has already racked up advance 
orders of a staggering 52,000,000 in Ontario alone, PIG plans to issue its self- 
compiled THE SEX PISTOLS* GOLDEN LAWSUITS album, which will feature material that up 
until now has remained unmarketable by any of the band's labels. 



For the benefit of those that have 
not been within reach of a television, 
radio, or ad hoc dive during the past 
several months, The Sex Pistols are 
front and foremost among the thousands 
of young pop music groups currently 
operating in England. The Pistols, 
like their many counterparts, perform 
loud and often lewd songs in a chain of 
dilapitaded clubs which dot the Euro- 
pean thoroughfares. These bands, like 
their legions of adoring fans, dress to 
the height of disgust, often piercing 
bodily appendages with carving knives 
and sporting drugged lizards as jewelry. 
These youngsters, often reffered to as 
"punks", spend their leisure time in 
battle with their arch rivals, the 
leather-clad "rockers". Death tolls as a 
result of these clashes are incalcuable, 
but many feel them to be the most succ- 



D0 YOU REMEMBER: 
"Glad All Over", "Because", "You 
Got What It Takes", "Having A 
Wild Weekend", "01 Sol", "Can «t 

You See That She 's Mine" 

WQRIg jjTDEJjAyE^ OIARK. 5, FANCLUB 

Herman Hamerpagt 

Weverstraat 519 

4204 CE-Gorinchem 

Holland 



U?^ 



essful war games since the IRA 
conflicts earlier in the decade. 

The Sex Pistols, since their 
formation over eleven years ago, have 
grown to represent this entire "new 
wave" youth movement. The foursome 
consist of singer Johnathin Rotten, 
guitarist Peave Bones, bassist Cid 
Dishes, and drummlst John deese. All 
gained particular notoriety of late by 
being savagely beaten to near death by 
a rival band, The lOlers. Rotten, 37 • 
retained the most injuries as a result 
of the brawl i A total of ninety-six 
stitches to the cheek and underarm, but 
was well enough nonetheless to attend 
in person his band's contract signing 
to PIG. To demonstrate his pleasure 
with the Canadian deal, he proceeded to 
toss buckets of hot vomit on visiting 
members of the press. This is but the 
most recent example of the "sick" humor 
practiced by the "punks" and admired 
by their followers everywhere. 





BIG^TARJJAGAZINg 

First""! s sue i~ 

RAM0NES,T0M VERLAINE, RICHARD HELL,THE GIZMOS, 

THE BOSTON SCENE, DAMNED, FLAMIN GR00VIES, CHEAP 

TRICK, DAVE EDMUNDS 

Send One Dollar To... 

BERNARD KUGEL 

MB 2l\, P0 Box 118 

Bidvell Station, Buffalo, New York 14222 5 






You have entered the door into a new land. A land that is its own universe. The • 
Delete Zone, A land where You are its latest citizen. 

The road through The Delete Zone is as long as you make it, stretching wide into 
the realm of re-issues, junk shops, budget bins, supermarket racks, and auction lists. 
You've only just begun to travel and explore this discmensioni A grooveyard of veteran 
vinyl. A whole new world awaits rediscovery. Awaits You. 

Compelled to press on and accept the challenge, you walk, for minutes, hours | Who 
knows? One must remember that time is not relevant in this Zone. 

On both sides of the road lie infinite open spaces. They stretch as far and as 
wide as they stretch out below your feet. Off on the distant horizon, a sunrise glow 
illuminates. To your left, you notice an ever-changing, black-dotted, white cloud 
drifting into view. You estimate that these miniscule dots could number perhaps six 
thousand. These specs eventually reveal themselves to be 45 RPM discs, out of sleeve 
and encircled by a cluster of fine, dust-like particles. One record opposite you begins 
to revolve at its natural speed. An attraction caused by this rotation condenses the 
dust particles into a solid tubular mass. This ring-shaped entity makes precise contact 
with the rim of the record and proceeds to travel to the end of the grooved surface. As 
quickly as these particles, now ascertained to be diamond dust, collate, they disperse 
back within the cloud. 

The disc, which has been spinning like a simple saucer, stops, and is returned to a 
state of stillness. The song which has just been emmited by this act you recognize as 
"Psychotic Reaction" by The Count Five. Ihen, another disc comes forth and begins a 
similar routine i By gosh, it's "She's About A Mover" by The Sir Douglas Quintet. 
Suddenly, a voice speaks. 

"Welcome, new citizen. We, the inhabitants of Cloud 42, are pleased you have 
activated us. We could sense what you wanted to hear by tapping your mind's musical 
memory banks. There are thousands of such tunes imbedded in every cloud for you". 

"Shall I continue onward?", you ask yourself. 

"Yes, most heartily. Do let your mind select one of our inhabitants for play", the 
cloud replies, able to read your thoughts as a newspaper. 

So you line up old faves by Lou Christie, The Human Beinz, Eric Burdon, The Balloon 
Farm, B.J. Thomas, and The Ugly Ducklings. But a cold yearning soon materialises within 
you, and you puzzle, "Is this to be my only time in the clouds?" 

"Fear not, my dear citizen. There are many clouds awaiting you, so long as the music 
lives in your soul. Good luck, time traveller!" 

You extend a most gracious Thank You to Cloud 42 and Move On. 

On to DOUGGO'S DELETE DINER, where a gear gourmet heats you up a sound de jour, a 
soul salade, and much, much more, for this is to be your next stop..... 
..... in The Delete Zone • 

PIG PRODUCTIONS PATgNTgD ___PQP __PAg_AQg #9 August 20,1975 

1. WOULDN'T IT BE NICE THE BEACH BOYS (1966) 

2oPURE AND EASY The Who (1971) 

3-1 'M GONNA BE A WHEEL SOME DAY.. . .The Mindbenders (1965) 

4 .HOW SHE B00GAL00ED IT The Beach Boys (1967, 

5. A QUICK ONE WHILE HE'S AWAY The Who (1966 

6. IN MY LIFE The Beatles.... • • (1965 

7.SURFIN* SAFARI The Beach Boys (1962 

8. VEGETABLES The Beach Boys..o .(1967 

9. BAD TO ME Billy J.Kramer (1964) 

lO.POPSICLE.o Jan And Dean • (1966) 



6 



THE SAINTS 



Did you know that there 's 
a punk band In Australia? Well, 
there are punk: bands in Toronto 
so nothing should surprise you. 
The Australian punk band is 
called THE SAINTS, and they're 
not in Australia at the moment. 
They're in England, touring ex- 
tensively vlth such veterans of 
the genre as The Ramones and 
Talking Heads, and stealing the 
spits avay from the competition 
at most every venue. THE SAINTS 
first album, (I 'M) STRANDED, was 
cut in a day and a half (EMI 
Records released the band's 
demo tape), and their new ^5 is 
THIS PERFECT DAY. All are highly 
reccomended by PIG and therefore 
deserve immediate purchase (Try 
Records On Wheels if you live 
vithin commuting distance of 
Toronto, and our address if you 
don't) . 

Chris Bailey( vocals) , Ed 
Kuepper( guitar) , Kim Brad shaw 
(bass), and Ivor Hay( drums) have 
come quite a distance since 
sending their B&W 8-by-10 glossy 
pic into Rock Scene magazine 's 
"More New Bands" page last spring 
For instance: At their debut per- 
formance in Sydney, THE SAINTS 
managed to flush 1^7 people from 
the hall. "But those who stayed 
had a vopping good time", Chris 
insists. Such are the haphazards 
of being ahead of your time down 
under, I suppose. 

Apparently life in Austra- 
lia is not like Ray(mond Douglas) 
Davies told us it was in ARTHUR'S 
seventh track. Chris again: "It 
isn't a classless society. There 
are the haves and the have nots . 
There are lots of immigrants who 
have a hell of a time. There are 
the people who've been there for 
years who work in factories and 
there are the executives. And 
there are the Aboriginals, who 
are at the bottom of the pile". 

by GARY PIG 



Except for that last sentence, 
Australia sounds alot like Canada 
doesn't it? So how does punkrock 
go over there? '*They have to take 
a boat because it's an island. 
But seriously folks, the police in 
Queensland are rough, tough, and 
ready". 

After spending summer vacation 
in the UK, Chris and his fellow 
Saints have, as PIG predicted, 
avoided becoming glass chewers etc 
but discovered, "The people in the 
new wave bands there have become 
stars and there should be no stars 
(Take THAT, Johnathin Rotten). 
There seems to be some weird social 
circle: You have to look a certain 
wave and talk a certain wave to be- 
come accepted. 

"But I don 't think the new 
wave is pessimistic. It came from 
outside the music industry, that 's 
all. Yes, it's inevitable that 
they'll get accepted by the record 
companies, but I hope we don't get 
sucked in". I hope not either. One 
punk band at the top of the British 
charts is quite enough, thank you. 
Yet in all fairness, THE SAINTS 
consider themselves a Pop group, 
and their album certainly reflects 
this. They'd be right at home along 
side The Ramones in 16 Magazine's 
"Spot The Five Errors" contest no 
doubt . 

At the moment, PIG 'a trying 
to bring THE SAINTS to Toronto. I 
can just hear The New Yorker 
Theatre now, ringing some mid nite 
with the haunting tones of "Erotic 
Neurotic". Perhaps to make this 
dream come true, a few partitions 
are in order, so get out your pens 
and write to The New Yorker (951 
Yonge Street, Toronto, Ontario) and 
THE SAINTS, care of Ed Kuepper him 
self (20 Lawson Street, Oxley *K)75, 
Queensland, Australia). Meanwhile, 
begin your Saints collection by 
following I.Mants' handy consumer 
guide overleaf. 



THE SAINTS' DISCO PAGE * ..maito 

I'm) Stranded/No Time. . .Fatal Records (Australia) 1976 

I'm) Stranded/No Time. .o Power Exchange Records (England, Canada) 1977 

I'M) STRANDED .EMI Records (Australia) 1977 

I'M) STRANDED Harvest Records (England) 1977 

Erotic Neurotic/One 

Way Street .. .Harvest Records (England) 1977 

This Perfect Day/ ? Harvest Records (England) 1977 

"(I'm) Stranded" on Fatal has the guitars turned way up loud and is the 
best. The UK Power Exchange comes in a neet pic cover and has a nice 
black engraved label, but the guitars are way down and the sound is a 
penguinheap as is the LP mix. The Canadian is really good: Next best to 
the Fatal. "No Time" is reasonably consistent throughout. The LP, apart 
from "(I'm) Stranded", is mixed like the Fatal, and the Harvest is the 
better pressing. EMI fades "Erotic Neurotic" after seven (if you turn 
it up loud) while the Harvest counts all the way up to eight and has a 
final-chord ending. Dunno about the single yet: Haven't heard it. Heard 
somewhere that they're on Sire in the States, so that's three singles 
and one thirty-three-tours on five different labels already. 



8 



ELVIS IS DEAD 



I was at Cindy Pig's grandmother's 
when Edgar of Simply Saucer told 
me, blunt and to the point, "Elvis 
is dead". I reeled momentarily be- 
fore sinking deep into a teenaged 
depression that not even MORE OF 
THE MONKEES could pull me from 
blah blah. 

Apart from the "King Is Dead" 
stuff that was all over the media 
on the 17th day of August 1977 
(Day One After El), just sit down 
and think a minute how Elvis 
Presley changed the world. Jerry 
Rubin was right: the pelvis killed 
Ike Eisenhower, but he brought to 
life alot of ears, souls, and 
feets . Even after the Army and all 
those dumb-as-ass movies, Presley 
couldn't seriously be dismissed. 
Even recently, as his karate- 
sequined, burger-filled bulk 
hauled in front of housewives in 
Vegases the US over, Elvis still 
could do it. Maybe not as effec- 
tively as "Paralysed", "His Latest 
Flame", or "Promised Land", but 
after all, he's over forty (not 
to mention thirty). 



I'll never forget, at the Dead 
Boys/Ramones concert earlier 
in the season, how much better 
Elvis came off, even on faded 
kinescopes between sets (some 
one pulled some Elvis films 
out of the vaults to project 
during the intermission). B.P. 
didn 't need to throw peanut 
butter, show his buns, or any 
of those other creepy excuses 
for headline -grabbing: Elvis 
just let his sideburns do the 
talking. And those eyes! And 
that curly top lip! God, what 
a rock star. The FIRST rock 
star, upon whom all rook stars 
since have been modelled. 
John Davidson is alive. Mel 
Torme is alive. Frank Sinatra 
and even Barry White are 
alive . 

But Elvis is dead. 
Oh, God. _ 0ARy PIG 



BIRTH AND DEATH NOTICES ARE 
ACCEPTED BY TELEPHONE MONDAY 
THROUGH FRIDAY 8:30 AM TO 
10:00 PM, SUNDAYS AND HOLIDAYS 
1:00 PM TO 10:00 PM, CLOSED 
SATURDAYS . 



ANIGHT 
AT THE 



RAMOIMEScV 



If you weren't square, you 
weren't there, or something. In 
other words, the gasping legions 
of Canadian punkdom filled the 
aptly-named New Yorker Theatre in 
Toronto this past June for three 
shows by The Dead Boys and The 
Ramones. Such bands, according 
to local rock: critics and record 
promotion men, are representative 
of the current pop/cultural up- 
heavel that is reportedly sweeping 
The Globe. Consequently, off the 
sidewalks poured the nouveau-shit 
to witness a mutant Fabulous 60s 
Revisited: Bands of four and five 
with Brian Jones bowl haircuts and 
Swinging Bluejeans stagewear, 
performing clumps of one and two- 
minute selections which brought 
back memories of the halycon daze 
of Murry The K package tours . 

I kinda dug it all myself. 
Like the bandmembers themselves, 
I 'm just old enough to recall the 
Golden Era twelve years ago, so 
all in our age bracket were con- 
tent to believe this was quite 
simply, quite pimply, a 1964 
Herman's Hermits tour. And why 
not? That period had class, 
despite the fact that it was 
merely a custom-produced diver- 
sion. But diversion, especially 
during these months of recession/ 
deepression, is the name of our 
game, and without it, rock may as 
well up and croak. That's why 
the Seventies thus far have been 
stagnant rock'n'roll years. But 
enough of this analytical pooh. 

Now, with our tongues 
firmly back in our cheeks, we can 
forge ahead, or back if you 
prefer. Viewing The Ramones was 
fun, so after the final set I in- 
vited myself into their dressing 
room for a chat • 

Manager Danny Fields was 
sitting in all his fragile splen- 
dor, surrounded by three-quarters 
of his band. (Drummer Tommy was 
AWOL somewhere in the city) . Joey 
who has to be one of the most 
clever frontmen in years, sat 
speechless on a couch with his 
knees framing his bowed head . 



However, the guitar section, Johnny 
and DeeDee, wanted to talk. So after 
sending Danny under the fridge to 
retrieve my pen, we began. 

Chipping away at them, I disco- 
vered that, like all successful 
trendsetters, The Ramones have been 
meticulously constructed, with the 
emphasis on durability and longevity o 
Danny's own illustrious history in 
the biz, coupled with his current 
post as 16 Magazine co-editor and 
salaried Bay City Rollers pal, has 
made sure of this. But his boys are 
well aware of went and goes on too: 

"I remember seeing Elvis on the 
Ed Sullivan show, and that was some- 
thing", confessed Johnny. (How old 
are these Ramones anyways?) ''They 
only showed him from the waist up". 
Danny grins mischievously at this. 
That 's probably because he was the 
cameraman. "Plus the Beatle years. 

Those were the days ". Then 

Johnny glanced down at his stovepipe 
Levis as if they were walking tri- 
butes to his words. DeeDee is more 
up to date in his R&R reminiscence: 
'You know Neal Smith In that Alice 
Cooper book BILLION DOLLAR BABY? 
Well, that's who I can identify with. 
A guy that lives to be a Star, and 
isn't happy unless he's in front of 
people doing what he likes. You know 
what I mean? " I assure DeeDee that I 
do, being a part-time rockstar myself 

Johnny completes our rumble down 
Memory Lane by recalling the closely 
guarded Origins Of The Ramones . He 
spins a colourful tale of elation and 
frustration that is the beginning of 
any bonafide social phenomenon. It 
took us AGES to find the right people 
then we had all this equipment and no 
place to practice. Nobody wanted to 
know about us . We were just another 
bunch of kids with guitars. Then we 
got a few friends and some help". 
Now, here they are: The Ramones. It 
all sounds so easy, don't it? Go 
out and try it then. 

Suddenly, bagels were served . 
This confirmed my suspicions that The 
Ramones had Made It, because bagels 
are not an easily aquired commodity 
in Toronto, particularly during the 



vee hours. Next, It is suggested 
that all present attend the Crash 
& Burn which is holding an ad hoc 
Ramones benefit. Danny personally 
places Joey, Johnny, and DeeDee 
into PIG's acquisition officers 
brother's car, and follows at a 
fatherly distance behind, commen- 
ting on how swinging a city 
Toronto really is. Meanwhile at 
the C&B, every piece of local 
talent is fighting its way on 
stage for the privilege of per- 
forming before the Guests Of 
Honor. Every band that makes it 
to the mlcs dedicate every song 
to Danny Fields, who, upon 
entering the club, begins to re- 
evaluate Toronto's swing. The 
Guests Of Honor, who realize they 
won't be getting the opportunity 
of jamming out ^Little Girl" on 
this bandstand, quickly tire off 
being clawed over and take refuge 
in a waiting cab. The last I saw 
of them was as they waved GoodBye 
en route to the Holiday Inn. I 
debated remaining at the benefit 
but The Diodes were busy laying 
waste to The Cyrkle «s biggest hit 
so I opted for a streetcar home 
to the suburbs. Some good did 
come out of the shenanigans none- 
theless: Hilly Kristal, Dead Boys 
guiding light, found Teenage Head 
and The Viletones, which he later 
showcased at his club CBGBs . A 
healthy boost for the swinging 
Toronto scene no doubt. 

Well, that's it. A terrifyin 
loss for words prevents me from 
getting overtly detailed regardin 
The Ramones, and that's the way 
it's supposed to be, I hope. As 
it all peters out and is itself 
the subject of nostalgia any day 
now, Johnny, Joey, DeeDee and 
Tommy Ramone will undoubtedly be 
ripe for the Punk Revival. Danny 
Fields, and You, have seen to 
that, and I wouldn't have it any 
other way. Really. 




Q- 




O 




THE BOYS 
WERE BACK 
IN TOWN 

A TRUE STORY 
by Johnny Pig 

The winner of PIG Paper #5's 
Preparation H Award is none 
other than Mister Thin Lizzy 
himself, PHIL LYNOTT . The 
Pigs crossed Phil at a recent 
Crash 'n*Bore all-nite talent 
showcase to celebrate the 
release of The Ramones * smashed 
new jingle "Sheena Is A Punk 
Rocker". According to sources 
un-named, Mr.Lynott was in town 
to deliver the key note address 
at the annual Irish Immigrant 
Aid Society Dinner And Dance, 
but rumours being what they are 
revealed that he was actually 
in Toronto for a hush-hush hair 
transplant to his upper lip. 
Maybe that 's why foul -mouth Phil 
risked a possible hemorrhage to 
remark menacingly to the roving 
PIG lens, and I quote, "Fuck off 
...FUCK OFF. If you want to keep 
your film, you better stop takin 
pictures". Of course no-one took 
Mr.Lynott 's idle threats seriou- 
sly; no-one except a trim little 
fellow with sizeable biceps and 
a stance that would lead one to 
assume that his livelyHOOD was 
making good on any idle threat 
that could afford his services. 
Oh to be a rock star! Well, 
here's to you Phil. I have no 
doubt that you'll know exactly 
what to do with your gold-plated 
suppository. 



O^REXTASY^MAGAZINE 

*3oIomon"~Spector and assorted c razees publish this wild 
fanzine out of Brooklyn which deserves your attention. 
They've also put out their own gear maxi -single, "My Head's 
In »73"/ "Calif awnia Gurls "/"Suzi ", with more on the way. 
To find out what it's all about, write Solomon today at... 
♦P.O.Box 206, Brooklyn, New York, USA, 11223 
and tell 'em The PIGs sentcha 



:io 




REVIEW a 



(I'M) STRANDED 
THE SAINTS 



What's your excuse? Where's your Saints LP? 
Pick a label and love itt EMI, Island, or 
Sire (soon). Eclectric rock resembling the 
Stones, the Hamones, and the 'tones. The 
Saints aren't legends (yet), repetitive nor 
are they "new wave punks". The Saints are a 
great rock'n'roll band and they have all the 
energy and talent they need to beat any band 
around now. Listen to them* 

"(I'm) Stranded" and I got "No Time". 
Don't ask me why because I don't know* 
Probably side effects from listening to the 
album* One of the two unAustralaboriginal 
cuts on the LP is "Kissin' Cousins". As 
with the entire album, it's got a nice beat, 
and you can vop to it* The other is "Wild 
About You", written by Unknown or Andy 
James* Take your pick* Whoever wrote it 
sure knows how to rock* "Messin' With The 
Kid" is the BLACK AND BLUE Stones/Mink de 
Ville song on this LP. Every great record 
has one* Almost. "Story Of Love" is about 
the glory of love* Shades of Lou Reed. 
"Erotic Neurotic" vocals and lyrics are 
reminiscent of Iggy with The Stooges i 
Incredible! "Demolition Girl" is a Ramones- 
length blast song. "One Way Street" is a 
song about going crazy while and because of 
"hanging around", with just the right number 
of characteristic Saints "huh"s in just the 
right places. "Nights In Venice" is a full 
length, non-stop, rock-out classic that 
finishes an album that should not end. 
These songs will grow on you like white- 
pine blister rust. 

The Saints are solid, not only because 
of their musical abilities and sheer talent 
which exceed belief, but because they still 
have the same guys in the band as they had 
in 1973 when they began. The Saints are 
steady and reliable. This is reassuring in 
an era of superchange, where people are 
constantly switching about or simply 
dropping dead left and ri#it. Have faith 
in this band i They maintain with 
Saintsability. 



The Saints are in England until 
autumn. The "punk scene" there won't 
change them into glass-chewing, safety 
pin-wearing, self -abusing punkos, but it 
will open their eyes up to the fact that 
any band with guts can make it. That 
talent is only an assets One which they 
possess. 

After their stay in England, the 
only logical step for them is North 
America, preferrably Toronto. 

Watch out for The Saints. They'll 
extrude your fireplace! 

-CINDY PIG 



SURFIN' WITH THE VILETONES 
THE VILETONES 
(GNP-Crescendo GNP-84) 

Side One i 

1. VILIN* USA 

2. (DO THE)OSTRICH JERK 

3. FUTURE FABRICATORS 

4* WAKE DOWN SHUT DOWN (or SHUT DOWN 
SHUT UP) 

5. SURFIN* TOO HARD 

6. THE LONELINESS OF THE LONG DISTANCE 

VILETONE 
Side Twos 
1. SURFIN' WITH THE TV ON 
2* KOJAK HANDSTANDS 

3. SCHIZOPHRENIA NOT GLUE 

4. £tffl*6BiQ¥$eN-PftAmBVeftK PUNK CITY 

5. WAITING FOR MY O.I.M.P.I.L. 

6* i-NB¥SS-¥He»6H¥-$*-W©yi>B-HAPFBN 
WOULDN'T IT BE NICE 

The late great Brian Wilson would 
probably turn in his grave if he heard 
this record* 

The Viletones are most likely going 
to be GNP's biggest money spinners in 
North America and they owe much of their 
success to the hole left in AM radio 
music since The Beach Boys split up and 
Shaun Cassidy died in a plane crash at 
the ripe old age of Buddy Holly. This 



FOUND SOME MOULDY OLDIE UP IN THE ATTIC? ABOUT TO PUT OUT 

YOUR VERY OWN TWO -DOLLAR EXTENDED PLAY? HEARD SOMETHING 

ON THE RADIO LATELY? GOT A DEMO TAPE? WRITE US A REVIEW, OK? 



II 



album fills that gap very effectively 
with its high-rolling and low-rolling 
rock and roll and rock and rolling, and 
although it doesn't hit the peaks of 
the above-mentioned victims of panic, 
it certainly covers the ground in the 
proper style, 

SURFIN' WITH THE VILETONES is 
something of a departure for the boys 
from Toronto (of all the places to have 
a surf band! But then, there were all 
those Japanese surf bands a couple of 
years ago, and you couldn't even read 
the lyric sheets! ) and it certainly 
makes a refreshing change after listen- 
ing to all the disco-punk on the radio. 

The album is smooth and atmospheric 
and sophisticated. Almost eclectic, in 
fact. There's a distinct taste of 
California in much of Freddy Pompeii's 
guitar (especially the acoustic passages 
in "Schizophrenia Not Glue" and "Future 
Fabricators"). Nazi Dog's singing is 
exotic and rich in flavour throughout, 
especially on "Vilin' USA" (a suedo- 
rework of "Blue Swede Pseuds") and a$ 
Nev©5?-¥hettgh*-5fc-WeHld-Hap£ena 
"Wouldn't It Be Nice" (which is almost 
as magnificent as the original version 
by The Rubinoos). 

Check out Motor Mike's fabulous 
drumming on the slowly swinging, almost 
jazzy "Surf in' With The TV On" and 
you'll hear the closest a surf band has 
ever come to making a m«s4e soundtrack 
for a Japanese horror »©v4e film, I 
must also mention £&ek&e-9eafeh~fl Chris 
Hate's bass guitar solo at the end of 
"Surf in* Too Hard" which loop-de -loops 
through all kinds of time changes before 
fading out into an electronic climax 
that links this song and the next one, 
"The Loneliness Of The Long Distance 
Viletone"* an autobiographical sketch 
of life on the road as The Vile tones 
know it. 

The lyrics of "Surf in' Too Hard" 
bear repeating in their entirityj 
I'M SURFIN* TOO HARD ON THE RADIO 
I'M SURFIN' TOO HARD, GOT NOWHERE 

TO GO 
I'M GONNA GIVE UP, BABY I DON'T 

KNOW 
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, IT'S ON 

WITH THE SHOW 
YEAH, I'M SURFIN' TOO HARD ON THE 

R.A.D.I.O. YEAH YEAH * 
Now that's rock and roll: makes The 
Ramones sound like TV And The Sunshine 
Band. I can't wait for the next one. 



~£«?HAN¥S 



*© Vile -Tunes Inc. 



12 



THE BEACH BOYS LOVE YOU 
THE BEACH BOYS 
(Brother/Reprise KMS-2258 ) 

WHY DCES EVERY CANADIAN POP PUBLICATION 
IGNORE THE BEACH BOYS? WHY IS THEIR 
NEW SINGLE, "ROLLER SKATING CHILD", 
DIEING ON THE RACKS? 
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO DAVID MARKS? 

(see PIG Paper #6) 
I SUBMITTED THE FOLLOWING TO SAM 
"CHEEP THRILLS" CHARTERS FOR USE IN 
"STAGE LIFE NUMBER ONE" BUT LOST OUT 
IN FAVOUR TO A REVIEW OF NANETTE 
WORKMAN'S "GRITS AND CORNBREAD" . BUT I 
DIDN'T GIVE UP. I'VE REPRINTED IT 
BELOW IN ITS ENTIRITY. (SOMETIMES IT 
PAYS TO HAVE YOUR OWN MAGAZINE) (BUT 
USUALLY IT DOESN'T). EVERYONE GO SEE 
THE BEACH BOYS AT THE CNE AUGUST 28 
AND 29 » OKAY? AND FLOOD THIS ADDRESS 
WITH FAN MAIL IF YOU WILLi 

BBFUN 

145** 5TH STREET 

SANTA MONICA, CALIFORNIA, 90^01 
AND BUY ANY ONE OF THE HUNDREDS OF BB 
LPs NOW ON THE MARKET. PLEASE. 

As you pick up KMS-2258, you'll 
notice first a spanking-new Dean 0. 
Torrence (of JAN AND DEAN MEET BATMAN 
fame) creation on the cover, which 
recalls to my mind his wife's artwork 
on Nilsson's THE POINT. Inside, a 
snappy B&W sleeve, recording pictori- 
ally the band's "Sweet 16 (Years Old) 
Concert And Party" on one side, and a 
suitable-for-worship pic of Brian 
Wilson on the flip, atop an inscription 
from brothers Carl and Dennis, cousin 
Michael Love, and ex-dental student 
Alan Jardine. I'm not gonna tell you 
what said inscription sez either t 
You'll just have to buy the album, or 
at least slit the shrink wrap and peek 
inside it when Sam isn't looking. 

Next, you lunge towards the turn- 
table as you gawk at the writing 
credits on the label t All big fourteen 
authored by B.Wilson, with help on one 
apiece by M.Love, A. Jardine, and R, 
McGUINN?!? You sit down, just like you 
did with PET SOUNDS eleven years ago, 
and await rock&roll frontiers to 
crumble . 

APRIL FOOLS! You find yourself 
boogalooing instead t The first Beach 
Boys party music since WILD HONEY is 
making your feet do things you never 
thought they could. To hell with artt 
LONG LIVE ROCK! And all of this during 



Side One, Song One, which, incidentally, 
is called "Let Us Go On This Way". 
Dennis is flailing away at his snare In 
true Dave Clark style as Brian lets 
loose with those patented "Little Girl I 
Once Knew" chords on the Brother Studios 
synthesizer. True to BB R&B form, 111* 
brother Carl's voice is front and centre. 
I think the song's about Brian's $90-an- 
hour shrink, though co-author Mike pups 
up that theory with his lyrical refrences 
to the Maharishi, or ESP if you prefer. 

Next, you're still vopping, 'cause 
it's "Roller Skating Child", which, along 
with "Mona" and single-that-should-be 
"Honkin' Down The Hi#iway", are atypical 
Brian rockers which would be just as at 
home on the SUMMER DAYS album. Great 
music. Fun, fun, fun. 

You can sit down for "Johnny Carson" 
and "Good Time" however. The Tonight 
Show cut is outstanding, both musically 
(put tongue in cheek to Mike's rye'n'dry 
delivery of the all-time most banal 
refrain Rhymin' Brian's ever produced i 
WHO'S THE MAN WE ALL ADMIRE? 
JOHNNY CARSON IS A REAL LIVE WIRE ♦*) 
and lyrically (marvel at the ingenious 
organ/drum break). Bonafide Beach Boy 
Freaks United will recognize "Good Time" 
from Marilyn and Diane Rovell's long- 
deleted and sorrowfully-ignored SPRING 
album » It's the same instrumental track 
on LOVES YOU, only streamlined somewhat. 
Herein, Al demonstrates that he's the 
only B.Boy who can still hit those 
audible -only-to«hound-dog notes. 

And speaking of honeys, Marilyn 
joins Brian on "Let Us Put Our Hearts 
Together", which is Mrs. Wilson's first 
appearance on one of hubby's elpees 
since "Bull Session With The Big Daddy" 
circa March '65« This item is bound to 
be covered to death by the likes of 
Donny & Marie & Sonny & Cher. Gurls 
also crop up in "The Night Was So Young" 
"I'll Bet He's Nice", "Love Is A Woman", 
and "I Want To Pick You Up". Only the 
latter, sung by the group's resident 
heart-throb Denny, approaches anywhere 
near the emotion which the syrupy lyric 
deserve. (By the way, the Dennis Wilson 
LP, PACIFIC OCEAN BLUES, is due any day 
now. Buy it too). 

"Solar System" and "Airplane" 
consist of Brian's Crayola poetry. But 
in defence of this shortcoming, I 
subscribe to Terry Melcher's view of 
the role of lyrics in rockt "Nobody ever 
asked Mozart what the fucking words 
were". 

Okay i A fine album, right? A far 



cry from the graffiti-ridden 15 BIG ONES 
and proof that Bashful Bri's on his way 
back. We could 've used a bit more imput 
from Carl (I guess he's just letting Big 
Brother catch up) BUT WAIT JUST A MINUTE 
or fifty-seven seconds to be exacts 
You've probably missed the highlight of 
the entire record. No, I don't mean that 
inscription on the sleeve... It's hidden 
right at the end of the first side. You 
recognize the name of band seven as the 
working title of one of Dennis' P.O. 
BLUES cuts. Yes, "Ding Dang (Ding And A 
Ding Dong)", Yeah, I know, dumb words 
again, but you know what Terry said. 
Just listen Instead to The Beach Boys* 
prime assets The Five Voices. The 
Hawthornian Chant has never sounded 
finer. My Gawd, it's "Mama Says'? and 
"Our Prayer" all rock-and-rolled into 
one, with a dash of Mike Love, still 
master of the "fast songs". We knew Ihe 
Beach Boys always put their best stuff 
on Side One, but who could have ever 
expected THIS?! Brian should compose on 
Roger McGulnn's piano more often. 

Allright. Dance time again. Time 
to start THE BEACH BOYS LOVE YOU all 
over again. But to prevent wearing it 
out too fast, all you kids who are now 
confirmed surfnlks oughta pick up on 
these other platters real fasts 
All 2*+ remaining Beach Boys albums 
THE JAN AND DEAN ANTHOLOGY ALBUM on 

United Artists 
SURF BATTLEs DAVE MYERS & THE SURF 

TONES VERSUS THE RHYTHM KINGS on 

GNP-Crescendo 
and if you just can't stop, 
THE MANY MOODS OF MURRY WILSON on, of 

course, Capitol. 
Or start up your very own vocal- 
oriented pop combo. These records will 
tell you how. Just don't say I didn't 
warn you. 



-GARY PIG 



♦♦©Brother Publishing Co, 



13 



gOlJgE OF NOSTAIglA 
I255"VELLINGT0N §f, OTTAWA 
Specializing in: 
♦50s, 60s, 70s rock 
♦Original LPs,45s,EPs 
♦Movie posters, lobby cards 
♦Comlos, pop bubblegumoards 
SEND YOUR WANT LIST TO: 
Ted Vallee 

463 Cambridge So.,Apt.308 
Ottawa, Ontario, K1S 5G3 



:. 



14 



SIMPLY 
SAUCER 

IIM 

TORONTO 

August 23 to September 3 

DAVIDS 

IBPhippsStreet 

offWellesley 

eastofYonge 

Phone 831-5422 
September U 

MASBHie mm 

888 Vonge Street 
north of Yorkvilb 

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