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Full text of "Thoughts to Build On"

". . . you've got psycho power!" 



By M. R. KOPMEYER 

AMERICA'S SUCCESS COUNSELOR 



". • • has helped millions!" 



"Our LIFE is what our THOUGHTS make it." 

—Marcus Aurelius 

THOUGHTS 

TO BUILD ON 

by M. R. KOPMEYER 

Americas Success Counselor To Millions 



This is a book of THOUGHTS to build your 
LIFE on. It is a unique book ... 80 entirely different and 
unrelated chapters . . . each providing about 10 minutes 
of stimulating and rewarding reading . . . each starting 
your own thoughts on a positive course of immediately 
useful and profitable ideas ... so that you thus may build 
your life as you want it. 

It is the purpose of this book to stimulate 
constructive thoughts, to give your thoughts improved 
direction and greater substance, to provide the kind of 
motivational thinking which will enable you to deal sue- 
cessfully with people and problems. 

THE SUCCESS FOUNDATION 

P. O. BOX 6302, LOUISVILLE, KY. 40206 



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Introduction 

THOUGHTS ... The Building Blocks 

of Life 

This is a book of THOUGHTS TO BUILD ON. 

Why? 

Because with our THOUGHTS we build our 
personalities, our characters, our lives. 

Our THOUGHTS determine what we are and 
what we will be throughout the future. All great religions, 
all great philosophies, all great thinkers, all great achievers, 
affirm that we actually are the materialization of our 
THOUGHTS. 

The Bible says, "As a man THINKETH, so is 
he." 

Buddha taught, "All (yes, all) that we are is 
the result of what we have THOUGHT." 

Wrote the great emperor and philosopher of 
ancient Borne, Marcus Aurelius, "Our LIFE is what our 
THOUGHTS make it." 

Eighteen centuries later, the eminent psycholo- 
gist-philosopher William James, reaffirmed, "Belief (confi- 
dent THOUGHT) creates the actual fact." 

The American educator, Amos Bronson Alcott, 
taught, "THOUGHT means LIFE, since those who do not 



THINK do not live in any high or real sense. THINKING 
MAKES THE MAN." 

So we learn from these great sources of wisdom 
throughout the ages that our THOUGHTS build our lives 
and in a very real sense our THOUGHTS ARE OUR 
LIVES. 

THOUGHTS are the building blocks of our 
lives and thoughts build upon themselves, for as George 
Sala wrote, "Thought engenders thought . . . the more 
you think, the better you will express yourself." 

THOUGHTS are the building blocks of PER- 
SONAL POWER. 

Emerson states categorically, "THOUGHTS 
rule the world." 

Clergyman William Ellery Channing wrote, 
"Secret study, silent THOUGHT, is the mightiest agent 
in human affairs. What a man does outwardly is but the 
expression and completion of his inward THOUGHT." 

Henrich Heine, the much-quoted German poet, 
turned to concise prose to make it clear that, "The men of 
action are, after all, only the unconscious instruments of 
the men of THOUGHT." 

And back to Emerson, who deeply believed in 
the power-force of THOUGHT, "There is no THOUGHT 
in any mind, but it quickly tends to convert itself into 
a power. 

Jonathan Edwards emphasized it, "The ideas 
and images (THOUGHTS) in men's minds are the invis- 
ible powers that constantly govern them." 



Then, in addition to providing the building 
blocks of life, and in addition to being the root-source of 
personal power we find that it is THOUGHT by which 
we attain personal success. 

Th e world-famous, preacher-psychologist- 
writer, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale says, "THINK success, 
visualize success, and you will set in motion the power 
force of the realizable wish. When the mental picture 
(THOUGHT) or attitude is strongly enough held, it actu- 
ally seems to control conditions and circumstances. " 

Dr. Walter Scott, famous psychologist and 
president of Northwestern University taught, "Success or 
failure in business is caused more by mental (THOUGHT) 
attitudes than by mental capacities." 

Disraeli, "Nurture your mind with great 
THOUGHTS; to believe in the heroic makes heroes." 

And clergyman John William Teal, "It is the 
habitual THOUGHT which frames itself into our life. 
Our confidential friends have not so much to do in shaping 
our lives as THOUGHTS have which we harbor." 

Isaac Taylor, "THINKING, not growth, makes 
manhood." 

Johann Pestalozzi, the Swiss educator, taught, 
"Man, by THINKING only becomes truly man. Take away 
THOUGHT from man's life, and what remains?" 

Confucius, "Learning without THOUGHT, is 
labor lost." 

And Emerson, once again, "No accomplish- 
ment, no assistance, no training, can compensate for lack 



m 



of belief (confident THOUGHT)." 

Then, Henry Ford, "Whether you THINK you 
can or THINK you can't— you are right/' 

So . . . our THOUGHTS determine what we 
are and what we will be; our THOUGHTS are our source 
of personal power; our THOUGHTS are the principal 
means of our successful achievement, and reveal it as Wil- 
liam Plumer said, "THOUGHTS, even more than overt 
acts, reveal character." 

And, as if all that were not enough, 
THOUGHTS can bestow upon us the gifts of happiness 
and pleasures. 

From the ancient wisdom of Marcus Antoninus, 
"The HAPPINESS of your life depends upon the quality 
of your THOUGHTS." 

Are you lonely? Sir Sidney wrote, "They are 
never alone who are accompanied by pleasant 
THOUGHTS." 

Bishop John Williams advised, "Garner up 
pleasant THOUGHTS in your mind, for pleasant 
THOUGHTS make pleasant lives." 

Another clergyman, Charles Hadden Spurgeon, 
used to preach that, "Good THOUGHTS are blessed 
guests and should be heartily welcomed." 

And Robert South taught that, "Nothing is 
comparable to the pleasure of an active and prevailing 
THOUGHT." 

But, perhaps, the pleasure of THINKING was 
best expressed by the wise and much-quoted lawyer of 



IV 



another generation, John Foster, who wrote, "The pleasant- 
est things in the world are pleasant THOUGHTS, and 
the greatest art in life is to have as many of them as 
possible/' 

And so, having focused the wisdom of the 
great minds of many centuries on the power, the benefits 
and pleasures of THOUGHT, let us explore, in the chapters 
that follow, THOUGHTS TO BUILD ON-now-in the 
exciting, confusing, threatening, sometimes happy, but al- 
ways wonderful, world in which we live. 

Thousands of years of wisdom, experience and 
observation have proven, beyond any doubt, that YOU 
WILL BECOME WHAT YOU THINK. 

So . . . what should you think? 

If you let your mind drift, it will idly contem- 
plate whatever happens to attract its attention and will 
set in motion a chain of thoughts, one leading to another 
to no telling where! Then something else will attract its 
attention and the first chain .of thoughts will be broken by 
another undirectional chain. 

Therefore this book: "THOUGHTS TO BUILD 
ON." Its purpose is to give your thoughts direction and 
substance— to channel your thoughts toward rewarding 
ends. 

But this book will not do your thinking for you 
. . . because you will become only what you, yourself, 
THINK. Therefore, this is a very unique book. Each brief 
chapter (and there are eighty) can be read in just several 
minutes. Each chapter gives you a different, stimulating 



THOUGHT TO BUILD ON . . . then sets you free . . . 
to pass it by ... or to think about it as deeply and as long 
as you wish. 

You may return to the stimulating thought- 
starter in each chapter as often as you wish— but return to 
it you must, because it will not be repeated, and each 
following chapter will contain an entirely different thought! 
Each and every chapter contains the stimulus of an inter- 
esting, exciting, different thought which is totally unrelated 
in context, if not entirely in substance, to all preceding 
and following chapters and thoughts. 

So you can read this book forward, backward, 
start in the middle or anywhere. Glance down the table of 
"Contents" and choose the thoughts you wish to think 
about at the moment. You can spend a few minutes with 
this book ... or an hour ... or an evening. 

It will fill the brief, empty spaces of your 
spare time . . . while you are commuting, waiting, or 
just relaxing. 

In any case, you will find it interesting, stimu- 
lating, helpful. It will give you an unlimited variety of 
THOUGHTS TO BUILD ON . . . and give you plenty 
of room to do your own thinking. 

For . . . "As a man THINKETH-so IS he." 



vt 



THOUGHTS TO BUILD ON 
Contents 

The 80 thought-stimulating chapters which 
will build a more successful YOU! 

Chapter Title Page 

1. Stand Tall 1 

2. Divide And Conquer 7 

3. How To Learn From A Guided Missile 11 

4. How To Handle Unpleasantness 

And Solve Problems 15 

5. Can You Separate Facts From Opinions? .... 20 

6. Then I Found The Gray Area 24 

7. Conquest Of Fear 27 

8. Give Your OWN Wonder Drug 34 

9. Are You Fed Up? 38 

10. Keep A Firm Foundation 41 

11. Lunatics Never Unite! 45 

12. Frustration Causes Aggression 47 

13. In All Fairness 61 

14. Plant Quarters— Reap Happiness 65 

15. Practice (In Your Imagination) 

Makes Perfect 67 



vii 



Chapter Title Fage 

16. How To Survive 71 

17. "This, Too, Shall Pass" 79 

18. Forget It! 81 

19. Push Your Wheelbarrow Upside Down 83 

20. Those Big Signs All Of Us Wear 87 

21. Count Your Blessings 92 

22. The Epidemic Of Hate 95 

23. The Gentle Art Of Letting Alone 99 

24. Save For Your Old Age: Memories! 105 

25. How YOU Can Radiate Personal 

Magnetism Like Movie And T.V. Stars Ill 

26. Be Your Own Ghost 118 

27. A Wall And Two Roads 121 

28. "Press On!" 124 

29. How To Avoid Or Get Rid Of Resentment 128 

30. Don't Attract To You-Go To Them! 136 

31. "Be Prepared" 141 

32. TALK! ... A Way To Success 145 

33. TALK! ... A Way To Health 152 

34. LISTEN! ... A Way To Help 159 

35. When It Gets Darkest 162 

36. Do The Thing And You Will Have 

The Power 166 



VUl 



Chapter Title Page 

37. LAUGH . . . Your Way Through Life 169 

38. It's Right To Do It Wrong! 173 

39. Walk Toward Danger 179 

40. Grapple! 181 

41. DANGER! Do Not Threaten! 186 

42. "I Direct Your Attention To ... " 190 

43. Are You Lonely? 193 

44. Find Out 199 

45. Success Begins With Three 202 

46. When Personal Tragedy Comes 206 

47. The Sympathy Seekers 212 

48. Externalize Yourself. Don t Exist! 216 

49. Infinity Has No Problems 219 

50. Life Is A Mirror 221 

51. Inner Pace For Inner Peace 224 

52. The Ostrich Target 227 

53. Include Yourself In 232 

54. Smile . . . ANYHOW! ! ! 235 

55. How To Be A Billionaire 238 

56. GOODWILL Is Your Success Insurance 240 

57. Use Your NOTHING COMPUTER 245 

58. Permissiveness Makes Slobs 250 

59. The Crystal Globe 255 



ix 



Chapter Title Page 

60. The Lesson Of The Butterfly 257 

61. Which Way Do You Lean? 259 

62. You Can Live Twice 262 

63. Bad Temper Is Worse Than Bad Fortune 265 

64. When Everything Else Fails ... 270 

65. If You Would Control Others 275 

66. Make Progress ... Or Stand Aside 280 

67. Stay In The Eye Of The Hurricane 284 

68. How Important Is It To You? 286 

69. When There Were No Letters To 

Santa Claus 288 

70. Are You Chicken Or Eagle? 291 

71. Who Changes The Water? 294 

72. The Pumpkin Shaped Like A Jug 296 

73. Pressure Creates Resistance 298 

74. The Happiness (?) Of Doing Without 301 

75. The Ignorant Are The Most Violent 305 

76. The Magic Word That Changes Things 308 

77. Are You Overwhelmed? 312 

78. The Birds Which Had No Wings 315 

79. Let It Rain 318 

80. Not By Bread Alone 321 



Chapter 1 



Stand Tall 



One of the most important . . . most helpful 
. . . most rewarding . . . lessons I have learned in a rather 
long and eventful life can be described in just two words: 
STAND TALL! 

By urging you to stand tall, I don t mean 
merely to stand erect, although that's part of it. I mean 
that you should heighten your entire personality by stand- 
ing tall in three ways : 

(1) STAND TALL . . . PHYSICALLY 

(2) STAND TALL . . . MENTALLY 

(3) STAND TALL . . . SPIRITUALLY 
When you stand tall in all three parts of your 

total personality, you attain a total stature which puts you 
in command of life's situations. You stride gracefully, 
easily, through life with an inner and outer calmness which 
expresses your self-confidence and your assured capability 
of coping with whatever conditions you may meet along 
the way. 



I can give you no better prescription for travel- 
ing through life boldly and successfully than this— and I 
shall give it to you in sufficient detail that you never again 
will bow to man nor to circumstance. So let's begin . . . 

(1) STAND TALL . . . PHYSICALLY 

There's an art to this, but it is an art which is 
easily learned. When you learn it, you will feel a high sense 
of exhiliration and a bold firmness of command. 

First, you begin simply by standing erect. 
Not slouched. Not slumped. Not stooped. But not stiff 
nor tense, either. Just erect. Then you calmly s-t-r-^e-t-c-h 
upward, concentrating entirely on reaching higher with 
the top of your head. That's all— just lift yourself with the 
top of your head. Do not strain— easily l-i-f-t so that you 
can feel that the top of your head is lifting your weight off 
your feet so that you "stand lightly", almost weightlessly. 

When you walk, walk lightly. No plodding. No 
stomping. And no timid toddling, either. Just stride lightly, 
with an easy glide, your legs swinging smoothly back and 
forth like pendulums. 

Don't stretch your shoulders upward. Don't 
pull your shoulders backward. Just relax them. You control 
the position of your shoulders with your chest. Yes, that's 
right, you control the position of your shoulders with your 
chest. Expand your chest. Push your chest forward and 
upward. Lead with your chest! 

Don't lift your chin (that will make you look 
arrogant and egotistical). Just keep your chin firm and 
level. Do all your "lifting" with the top of your head. 
But remember, do it naturally, easily. Don't strain. Don't 



be tense. Keep relaxed . . . poised . . . balanced . . . buoyant 
. . . light . . . standing and walking on air! 

You will be amazed at how standing tail- 
physically— will immediately improve your personality, 
your poise, your self-confidence, your attitude toward 
others and your zest for life. You will instantly notice the 
gratifying reaction of others to your improved attitude of 
confidence, presence and command. 

Standing tall— physically— will take years off 
the appearance of older people. A characteristic of old 
age is the curved back, the stooped shoulders drooping 
forward, the slumped figure. Yet this most obvious sign 
of increasing years and increasing physical deterioration 
will vanish instantly when an older person stands tail- 
physically— by following the simple directions in the pre- 
ceding paragraphs. The health value alone is worth many 
times the effort (if any) required to form this beneficial 
habit of youthful posture. The nerves are no longer 
pinched, the muscles are no longer cramped, the blood 
flows freely, and chest is expanded to greatly increase 
the intake of stimulating oxygen. 

Older people who stand tall— physically— not 
only look years younger . . . they feel years younger! 

But, no matter what your age, standing tail- 
physically— is just the beginning of this easy way to 
heighten your personality. Frequently re-read the fore- 
going instructions. Constantly practice them until you 
have made them a natural part of your life. 



Then you are ready for the second step: 

(2) STAND TALL . . . MENTALLY 

There's an old, but tried and true slogan which 
says, "Always go first class/' I want to add an equally 
important slogan, "Always think first class!" Dont clutter 
up your mind with second class thoughts. It is just as 
easy to think big as it is to think small. And remember, you 
actually become the sum-total of your thoughts. "As a man 
thinketh in his heart (deeply believes) so is he." You can 
become no bigger, no better, no finer, no more successful 
than your dominant thoughts. So think big! Stand tall . . . 
mentally! 

Life isn't going to give you more than you ask. 
Employment managers say that almost all job-applicants 
apply for low-paying jobs. Only a few apply for jobs pay- 
ing better wages. Almost no one applies for the high- 
salaried jobs! Almost no one thinks big! So if you want to 
be a standout in the crowd, if you want to be looked up 
to . . . stand tall . . . mentally. 

Your thoughts are the fuel for achievement. 
You wouldn't start out each morning by putting a handful 
of dirt into the fuel-tank of your car. Then dont stall the 
mechanism of your mind by dumping in thoughts of fear, 
anger, hatred, jealousy or guilt. Don't let little thoughts 
make you little, too. 

Don't get stuck with the present. No matter 
how insignificant your present is— think big about your 



future. Think creatively. Think: "How can I improve?" 
(Add value.) Think: "How can I do more?" (Add quan- 
tity.) Learn— add facts. You can't build anything unless 
you have the materials. You can't build something out of 
nothing. So learn! Use what you learn to think big! Then 
you'll stand tall . . . mentally. And you will be amazed 
at the immediate improvement in your attitude toward 
life . . . and the admiration of others for you. 

Then, there's the third way to heighten your 
personality. It is: 

(3) STAND TALL . . . SPIRITUALLY 

No person really stands tall in the judgment of 
his fellow men or even in the constant scrutiny of his own 
conscience unless he is too big spiritually to be little 
morally. There is a lift in standing tall— spiritually— which 
cannot be achieved in any other way. Yet, paradoxically, 
while it lifts you up, it also gives you that calm firmness 
which makes you impregnable to the vicissitudes of life. 

If you have not achieved that spiritual height, 
if you cannot stand that tall spiritually— your God is too 
small! 

It is only when you can accept INFINITY . . . 
boundless without dimension . . . timeless throughout 
eternity . . . holy beyond reverence . . . and know that 
you, in some spiritual way, are a part of it . . . only then 
can you really stand tall . . . spiritually. 

And, that will make all the difference! 



So ... if you would live Life to the fullest 
stand tall! \ 

(1) STAND TALL . . . PHYSICALLY . 

to achieve confidence! 

(2) STAND TALL . . . MENTALLY . 
to attain wisdom! 

(3) STAND TALL . . . SPIRITUALLY 

to be triumphant! 



Chapter 2 



Divide And Conquer 



Constantly we are reminded that it is the 
subtle or overt objective of our enemies to "divide and 
conquer 9 . 

Certainly an alliance, a nation, an organization 
—if it can be sufficiently divided— loses its will to win, and, 
in its confusion and dissension, loses its ability to survive. 

There is no doubt about the effectiveness of 
the principle: "Divide and conquer." So let's apply it to 
you. 

In fact, let's apply the principle of "divide and 
conquer" to you in the following two most important fields: 

( 1 ) Your personal HEALTH: physical, mental 
and emotional. 

(2) Your SUCCESS in life. 

Let's start with (1) Your HEALTH. Surely 
by now everybody is familiar with Dr. William Osier's 
famous prescription to: "Live one day at a time. ,, He 



wisely said: "The load of tomorrow, added to that of 
yesterday, carried today, makes the strongest falter." And 
so it does. 

Overburdening, by trying to carry too many 
loads all at once, will crush you physically, destroy you 
mentally and wreck you emotionally. 

Yet most people carry the "load of tomorrow" 
in their imaginations: "What will I do about that" . . . 
"Suppose this should happen?" . . . "When will I find 
time to do so many things? ... see so many people? . . . 
go so many places?"' And so on and on. 

They 'live out" in their imaginations today- 
all the work they are going to do tomorrow. Thus they add 
tomorrow's work-load to today's work-load. And not only 
tomorrow's, but the day after, and the day after. 

Then they do yesterdays work all over again 
today. "Suppose I had said this instead of that?" . . . 
"Perhaps, if I had just done it differently." . . . "Why didn't 
I think of it then?" . . . And again, on and on. 

They re-do all of yesterday's work today and 
add this burden to the imagined burden of tomorrow's 
work. And not only yesterday's work, but usually the work 
of the day before that . . . and the day before that. 

But they must do todays work— when they are 
already mentally re-doing the work of countless yesterdays 
and living, in their imaginations, the work and dangers of 
countless tomorrows. No wonder men and women break 
under the strain! 



No wonder Dr. William Osier prescribed: 
"Live only one day at a time . . . live today!" 

Divide and conquer! 

Divide your life, as Dr. Osier recommended, 
into one-day compartments. Shut out all yesterdays. Shut 
out all tomorrows. Live only this one day: today! Then 
you have only one day's problems to conquer. And any- 
body can conquer just one day's problems! 

Ask Alcoholics Anonymous. This highly suc- 
cessful organization teacKes: "Do not decide to stop drink- 
ing forever. Just decide you will not take a drink today." 
Not forever. Just one day. Divide and conquer! 

Ask Robert Louis Stevenson. He wrote: "Any- 
one can carry his burden, however hard, until nightfall. 
Anyone can do his work, however hard, for one day. Any- 
one can live sweetly, patiently, lovingly, purely, for twenty- 
four hours." 

Then begin to divide even more— so that you 
can conquer more! 

Divide each day into the individual tasks to 
be done. Then concentrate on the task you are doing now. 
And only that task . . . the one you are doing right now\ 

Think not about the tasks just completed. Take 
the advice of psychologist William James: "When your 
decision is made and put into action— dismiss absolutely 
all care or responsibility about the outcome." 

Think not about the tasks yet to be done. Let 
them come each in its time— not rushing at you all together 
like an avalanche— but coming in single file, unhurriedly, 



9 



like the individual grains of sand dropping through an 
hourglass. 

Thus you divide, into separate tasks, your daily 
work, and in so doing, conquer it. 

Thus you achieve calmness, poise, tranquility. 

And (2) SUCCESS! 

Success— because you are able (physically, 
mentally and emotionally) to work with that easy, calm 
sureness which comes with concentrating solely on the job 
at hand. 

Your mind is not cluttered with yesterday's, or 
tomorrow's, or even with today's other tasks. It is free to 
search the whole broad field of thought for the best solution 
of each problem in turn, and, being undistracted, to find 
it quickly, surely. 

This is the way of success. It has always been 
the way of great thinkers and great achievers. It is the 
"great quietness" which is the source of clear thought and 
calm power. 

Strange, that so many people have not thought 
of this before. Everybody knows about "divide and con- 
quers—yet how few apply this success technique to their 
own lives ... to their own daily tasks. 

And yet, if just they would "divide and con- 
quers—first their days— then their tasks— they would no 
longer be average people. They would take upon them- 
selves the majesty of serenity, the calm sureness of con- 
centration—and the inevitability of success. 



10 



Chapter 3 



How To Learn From A Guided 
Missle 



Because man developed the intelligence to 
construct a guided missile, he should have the intelligence 
to learn from it. 

A guided missile has a built-in mechanism 
which is a "homing" device to the target. When the missile 
gets even slightly off course— makes an error in direction— 
as is frequently the case, its guidance system makes the 
corrections necessary to get it back on course so that it will 
hit the target. 

We should also note here that the missile can- 
not correct its course while it is standing still. It can only 
correct its errors when it is moving forward toward its 
target. 

Now, what can you learn from the guided 
missile? You can learn these valuable lessons which will 
be of great benefit to you throughout all your life: 



11 



(1) You should have a target or, as the psy- 
chologists say, you should be * goal-oriented". You should 
have some specific objective in life and head directly for it. 

(2) While you are moving toward your goal, 
you will make frequent errors, even as a guided missile 
does. 

(3) You must learn to recognize these errors 
and acknowledge that they are errors. Otherwise you will 
not know that a correction is needed. 

(4) Having recognized and admitted that you 
have made an error which would cause you to miss your 
goal, you simply correct it and get back on target. Note 
that you are no more embarrased or ashamed of the error 
than the missile is. Making, recognizing, admitting and 
correcting errors is simply the method of moving toward 
and accurately reaching any goal— a missile's goal or your 
life's goal. 

Neither missiles nor people go directly to their 
goals in a straight line. Neither missiles nor people are that 
perfect— nor do they need to be. That's why they have 
built-in guidance systems. 

You know, of course, about the guidance sys- 
tems of missiles. At least you know that they have them 
and that it is the function of these guidance systems to 
recognize and correct the errors which the missiles inevit- 
ably make as they proceed to their targets. 

How much do you know about your own per- 
sonal guidance system? 

Do you have a target, a goal in life? Are you 



12 



aiming at just ONE main goal? Think how confused and 
ineffective your personal guidance system would be if it 
tried to guide you to a number of goals in different direc- 
tions! That's why the one-goal person reaches his goal 
quickly and effectively, while the person who tries to ac- 
complish too many things simultaneously (instead of one 
at a time) zigzags his way futilely through life. 

Do you keep moving forward toward your goal? 
Your personal guidance system cannot correct the direction 
in which you are moving— if you are not moving. So keep 
moving. Don't stop. Don't hesitate for fear of making an 
error. You can correct your error while you are moving 
forward. Life is like riding a bicycle. You can easily correct 
your direction while you are moving, but if you stop, you 
lose your balance, become shaky and fall. 

You must expect to make errors and therefore 
constantly watch for them so you can correct them prompt- 
ly. The more promptly you correct an error, the less you 
will have strayed off course and the more quickly you can 
get back on target. 

Since you will accept errors as at natural part 
of life, you will not be ashamed of them, but simply accept 
them as something to be corrected on your way to your 
goal. 

Your natural acceptance of errors, your not 
being embarrassed or ashamed of them, will free you for- 
ever from a "sense of guilt" and its accompanying mental 
and emotional anguish. 

Of course, when you accept errors as a part of 
life, you must at the same time accept the fact that you 



13 



have a personal guidance system which will correct your 
errors and head you directly to your one main goal. 

How do you set your guidance system so that 
it will keep you on course to your goal? Here's how: 

(a) Your personal guidance system is like a 
computer. You "feed" the details of your goal directly into 
the "memory" of your computer (which is your subcon- 
scious mind) and thus your guidance system knows, and 
never forgets for one second, exactly what your goal is. 

(b) Once your guidance system is absolutely 
sure of what your one main goal is, it will guide you directly 
to it. You do not need to tell it how (even if you know). 
Your guidance system— subconscious mind— is a part of the 
Universal Mind which guides and operates everything 
from your own heartbeat to the movement of the planets. 
It is quite capable of guiding you to your goal and will 
easily do so. 

(c) All you personally do is follow and co- 
operate with your guidance system. You will "know" what 
to do. You will be "given" the ability and power to reach 
your goal. Just relax, let your subconscious mind guide 
you— and move surely and confidently forward. 

Thus man, who put the guidance systems in 
missiles, has discovered that he has had a personal guid- 
ance system within himself all the time! And, by constantly 
visualizing a "mental picture" of his goal, his personal 
guidance system will take him to it. 



14 



Chapter 4 



How To Handle Unpleasantness And 
Solve Problems 



Let's face it, there's a lot of unpleasantness in 
this old world of ours. 

There are unpleasant conditions. There are 
unpleasant situations. And there are quite a few unpleas- 
ant people ( although sometimes they are not as unpleasant 
as at others). 

The optimist who cheerfully assures us that: 
"Life is just a bowl of cherries", neglects to add that some 
of the cherries may be sour. 

Marcus Aurelius, one of the wisest rulers of 
the Roman Empire, wrote in his diary: "I am going to 
meet people today who talk too much, people who are 
selfish, egotistical, ungrateful. But I won't be surprised or 
disturbed, for I couldn't imagine a world without such 
people." 



IS 



How shall we handle these unpleasant condi- 
tions, situations and people? 

They fall into two general classifications with 
all sorts of variations in between. We shall consider only 
the two extremes and let the handling of variations follow 
the solutions of the major classifications. 

First, there are the unpleasant conditions, sit- 
uations and people about which little or nothing construc- 
tive can be done. Of course, something probably can be 
attempted about almost anything. But it often isn't worth 
the effort. Just because you are not getting anywhere by 
butting your head against a stone wall is no reason to 
increase your efforts and butt your head against the same 
stone wall even harder. 

There are those who will exhort you to persist 
in overcoming all obstacles, to achieve your goal no matter 
what the cost. I suggest that it is more intelligent and 
productive to reach a sound judgment concerning how— 
or even i/— you will proceed in a certain endeavor. It 
could well be that the same amount of effort might produce 
much more results if directed to other objectives. 

So let us assume that you are involved in an 
unpleasant condition or situation, or with an unpleasant 
person, and you have decided that nothing constructive 
can or should be done. That does not cause the unpleasant- 
ness to vanish. It still remains, and, for your own peace 
of mind, you will have to deal with it. 

Here's how: 

First, take the wise advice of William James of 
Harvard, the father of applied psychology, who taught his 



16 



students, "Be willing to have it so. Acceptance of what 
has happened is the first step in overcoming the conse- 
quences of any misfortune." And let me add: that advice 
includes acceptance of what now is happening (and cannot 
reasonably be prevented), and also what may be expected 
inevitably to happen in the future. Be willing to have it so. 
Don't fight it— if you can t beat it-ACCEPT it! Be willing 
to have it so. Then adjust. When Fate closes one door, 
Faith opens another. Seek the open door! 

Now let's consider the other kind of unpleas- 
antness which is a problem that can and must be solved. 
The following method is positively effective in solving all 
kinds of problems, not just unpleasant ones. 

It might be well to mention here that most 
problems, as such, are not unpleasant, but primarily are 
stimulating. Certainly that should be your attitude toward 
all problems. For very many years, before I retired, I was 
president of a multi-million-dollar advertising agency. We 
used what we called the "Problem Approach Method" in 
working for 102 clients. That simply means that we ap- 
proached every situation assigned to us as a problem to 
be solved. Naturally, we made a continuous study of all 
the best methods of solving problems. 

Here, in condensed form, is the most effective 
method of solving problems: 

( 1 ) WRITE DOWN EXACTLY WHAT THE PROB- 
LEM IS. Dont just think about it. Write it down. 
Write it down exactly, precisely, concisely. Remember 
that Charles Kettering, the great inventive genius of 



17 



General Motors, said, "A problem well stated is a 
problem half solved." 

(2) WRITE DOWN EXACTLY WHAT ARE THE 
CAUSES OF THE PROBLEM. Get the facts. Get 
ALL the facts. Be sure the facts are exact, clear, 
objective and impartial— not selected to bolster some 
preconceived opinion. Especially, if you do have a 
preconceived opinion, be sure that you get all the facts 
that do NOT support your pre-judgment, as well as 
those which do. Herbert Hawkes of Columbia Uni- 
versity taught, "Half the worry in the world is caused 
by people trying to make decisions before they have 
sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision. If 
a man will devote his time to securing knowledge in 
an impartial, objective way, his worries will usually 
evaporate in the light of knowledge." So get the facts. 
Be sure you know the exact causes of the problem 
before you try to solve it. 

(3) WRITE DOWN EVERY POSSIBLE EFFEC- 
TIVE SOLUTION. Be sure each possible solution of 
your problem is the impartial result of "trying the 
case" from both sides by first pretending you are the 
lawyer trying the case FOR the solution, then imagin- 
ing you are the lawyer trying the case AGAINST the 
solution. Then if the solution still appears to be effec- 
tive, include it in your list. 

(4) DECIDE DEFINITELY WHICH SOLUTION 
TO PUT INTO EFFECT. If you have carefully 
analyzed the pros and cons of each solution as recom- 
mended in the preceding paragraph (3), then your 



18 



final decision should be relatively easy. If it still is 
difficult to decide, and if you have time, feed all of 
your possible solutions into your "mental computer ' 
(subconscious mind) and let it work on the solutions 
in its own way for the next few days and nights. Mean- 
while relax. The best solution will soon become clear 
and definite in your mind. Then decide that THAT is 
your best solution and that you will put it into effect, 
forgetting all others. 

( 5 ) START IMMEDIATELY TO PUT THAT SOLU- 
TION INTO EFFECT AND PERSIST VIGOR- 
OUSLY. All the previous steps will get you nowhere 
unless they end in immediate, definite and vigorous 
action. And when once you begin to act, don't look 
back over your shoulder. Go right ahead; see it 
through. You 11 never get better instructions than from 
famous William James, who taught, "When once a 
decision is reached and execution is the order of the 
day, dismiss aboslutely all responsibility and care 
(anxiety) about the outcome." If you have conscien- 
tiously put into effect all of the preceding five steps in 
this Problem Solving Method, you can be sure the out- 
come will be very satisfactory. 

To know how to effectively handle the inevit- 
able unpleasant conditions, situations and people which 
are a part of every life and to be able to successfully solve 
the problems which constantly come your way, will make 
you master of most of life's difficulties. That knowledge 
now is in your hands. 



19 



Chapter 5 



Can You Separate Facts From 
Opinions? 



I could see the lines of worry and fear etching 
themselves ever more deeply in the face of the past-middle- 
aged man who told me, "I've lost my fortune through 
unwise investments. It's too late to start over. My family 
and I will live out our lives in disgrace and poverty." 

This man had only one fact. All of the rest of 
his statement was opinion. 

Accepting your opinions as being facts can 
ruin you! 

What was this mans one fact? It was a fact 
that he had lost a sizable fortune through unwise invest- 
ments. 

It was merely his own opinion that, being past 
middle-age, it was too late to start over and build another 
fortune. 

It was merely his own opinion that he and his 



20 



family would have to live out their lives in disgrace and 
poverty. 

But by taking just one fact and magnifying it 
by adding a number of opinions (which are not facts) you 
can reach conclusions which are so wrong that they can 
do great damage. 

Let's take the case of the middle-aged "failure" 
just described. 

We'll start with his one fact: he had lost his 
money through unwise investments. Well, maybe that was 
stupid. Perhaps with more caution and better advice the 
loss could have been avoided. But certainly it was neither 
original nor unusual. Often men who amass large fortunes 
lose substantial sums of money from time to time. They 
accept their losses as part of the business of fortune- 
making. 

Many men have made and lost a number of 
fortunes. Almost all of them have recouped their losses 
and greatly increased their wealth. There is a state of mind 
and a technique of fortune-making. 

So even the fact that our friend did lose his 
money was no cause for panic. Surely it was no cause for 
him to compound his misfortune by adding adverse opin- 
ions which were not even facts. 

Now, let's have a look at his own opinions 
which he mistook to be facts and which caused his des- 
peration and his hesitation to vigorously work his way 
back to the top. 

(l)"It's too late to start over." That, of course, 
was merely his opinion. It is not a fact— unless he, himself, 



21 



makes it one by continuing to believe it. It is not a fact, 
because the fact is that he is past middle-age, so he is 
exactly the age when most large fortunes are amassed. 
The really great fortunes have been built by men much 
older than he, because it took them that long to learn 
fortune-making attitudes and techniques. 

(2) "My family and I will live out our lives in 
disgrace and poverty." That, too, is only his opinion. It is 
not a fact— unless he, himself, makes it one by continuing 
to believe it. In the first place, losing money in unwise 
investments is no disgrace. Most investors make unwise 
purchases some time or other. Many investors have, at 
some time, lost most or all of their money. As previously 
pointed out, usually they get it all back and more, because 
fortune-making is a state of mind and a technique. So, 
instead of our friend's feeling "disgraced", he should feel 
that he has learned a lesson which will be of great value 
in his future decisions. 

As for him and his family's living in poverty 
for the rest of their lives, that not only is an opinion, 
not a fact— but it is a ridiculous opinion, as previously 
pointed out. The only danger is that it is an opinion which 
he has mistaken for a fact— and, accepting opinions, yours 
or someone else's, as being facts, can ruin you! 

Opinions are a dime a dozen— and not worth 
that. Facts are worth their weight in gold. Literally! 

Build your life— decision by decision— soundly 
based on facts that you can accurately trace back to their 
very origins, so you can be sure that they really are exact, 
provable facts. 



22 



You can mistake an error for a fact and reach 
a very wrong decision, just by failing to trace your fact 
to its exact origin— as dramatized by the following story: 

In the early days of the telephone, when one 
had to turn a crank to ring up the operator, a man furious- 
ly turned the crank every day just before noon. It seemed 
that he was desperate to reach the operator at just before 
noon every day to find out exactly what time it was. 
After some weeks of courteously telling him the time 
from her own watch, the operator finally asked who was 
phoning. He replied importantly, "I am the man who 
blows the whistle of the town factory exactly at noon." 

"That's a coincidence," replied the telephone 
operator, "Fve been telling you the time from my watch 
which I set by your noon whistle!" 

How sure are you of your facts? The depend- 
ability of the judgments upon which you will stake your 
entire future depends upon your ability to separate facts 
from opinions— and to reach your decisions based on 
facts— facts which you can depend on because you have 
traced them to their origins. 



23 



Chapter 6 



Then I Found The Gray Area 



Time was, years ago, when I thought that 
everything was black or white. On one extreme or another, 
I would take my stand. And stand. Immovable. 

I would be like General Grant and "hold the 
line if it took all summer." I would do even better. I would 
maintain my fixed position if it cost me every friend, if 
it cost me every cent! 

I would be like Martin Luther and nail my 
convictions to the door. I would do even better. My con- 
victions would be more than a statement of belief. They 
would be an open challenge to everyone! 

I would be like the executive who put a sign 
on his desk facing his callers. The sign read: "Be reason- 
able. Do it my way/' 

I would not be a middle-of-the-roader. Hadn't 
I read, "Most accidents happen in the middle of the road"? 

But Tm older now. And with the passing of 
years, I've changed— I might even say Tve learned. Years 



24 



of watching others succeed ... so smoothly ... so pleas- 
antly ... so surely . . . have taught me a better way to 
success. And a better way of life. 

iVe outgrown building a fortress around my 
demands. The immobility of a fortress makes it a prison. 

Besides, who needs a fortress if he has no de- 
mands to defend? A fortress serves no purpose in moving 
forward toward a goal— and that is what Life really is all 
about. 

Then I found the gray area. Everything really 
isn't black or white— right or wrong— at all. It only looks 
that way to youth and to those adults whose minds haven't 
grown up. Hence all those silly protest marches, and 
sit-ins, stand-ins, teach-ins— and, even worse, some very 
radical believe-ins. All dramatized, of course, by the ex- 
hibitionists. 

But the world smiles understanding^ at the 
adolescent behavior— not its misguided exploiters— then 
goes about its important business in the gray area which 
I didn't know about, either, when I was young and inex- 
perienced. 

Yes, the gray area, where the black and white 
edges of extremism blend into understanding and agree- 
ment. 

The gray area where everybody's point of view 
can be respectfully considered, where everybody gives a 
little and gets a little, where negotiation may be hard or 
may be persuasive, but leads, if we just work at it enough, 
to the hand-clasp of mutual resolution. 



25 



The gray area, where, if we just keep talking 
long enough, we can agree on something worthwhile. 

The gray area, where a President of the United 
States can say to all men, friend and foe alike, "Come, let 
us reason together. Then we can find a consensus." 

Im glad Tve matured enough to know that 
everything in the world isn't black or white— but, in be- 
tween these two extremes is a blending of ideas and opin- 
ions in a vast gray area where men of good-will can meet 
and talk over their differences until at last the differences 
blend into one goal. 

Im glad I found the gray area. I hope you 
have found it, too. 



26 



Chapter 7 



Conquest of Fear 



There are a number of emotions which can be 
be so overwhelming that they swamp our beings, wreck 
our personalities and make our lives almost unbearable. 
And not just "almost" unbearable. Sometimes so terribly 
unbearable that they are the principal causes of suicide 
and murder! 

Hate, revenge, jealousy, sense of guilt, with- 
drawal and, the subject of this chapter: FEAR. These 
emotions are so destructive of happiness and often of life — 
physically, mentally and emotionally— that we shall discuss 
some of them, and perhaps all, elsewhere in this book. But 
right now, we're going to engage in the conquest of fear. 

If you could be free from fear— all fear of 
everything and everybody— your life would be much better, 
wouldn't it? Well, within the next few minutes you will 
have the means of eliminating all fear— forever! 

First, you have to drag your fears out into the 
open so you can get at them. That may seem surprising 



27 



to those of you whose fear is all too real— so real, so definite, 
that its terror haunts you day and night— and is surely, 
methodically tearing you to pieces! Relax, well soon get 
rid of it! Open fears are easily eliminated. It's the hidden 
fears, the disguised fears, which cause the most trouble. 
But only because they are hidden. So let's go on a fear- 
hunt. 

Each of us has, as you know, a conscious mind 
which gives us our awareness of everything around us, 
does our conscious reasoning and is subject to our personal 
direction and will. 

Also, as you know, each of us has a subcon- 
scious mind which functions at a much deeper level and 
which not only operates our bodily activities (our heart- 
beat, breathing and all the rest of our complicated bodily 
mechanisms), but also— because it is a part of the all- 
powerful Universal Mind which runs the whole universe— 
actually brings into reality our self-image (what we have 
led it to believe we really want to he). 

Of course, the foregoing descriptions of our 
conscious and subconscious minds are greatly over-sim- 
plified. I just want to identify them because it is in our 
subconscious minds that we are going to conduct our fear- 
hunt. 

If our fears were in our conscious minds— and 
some of them are— we would have no trouble recognizing 
them and, as described later, eliminating them. But when 
our fears have been implanted in our mysterious subcon- 
scious minds, they are either deeply hidden or strangely 
disguised. We therefore have to dig them out, rip away 



28 



their disguises, and get them into our conscious minds 
where we can easily dispose of them. 

Often you can find these hidden fears, yourself, 
now that you are aware that they are likely to be hidden 
or disguised in your subconscious mind. It is not the func- 
tion of this book to get into the details, but merely to point 
out the necessity of a fear-hunt for hidden and disguised 
fears and to start you on your way. 

Some of the symptoms of hidden and disguised 
fears are: (1) withdrawal from normal activities; (2) un- 
explained feelings of anxiety; (3) unexplained tension; (4) 
psychosomatic illness, an illness (real enough!) which has 
no physical cause, but usually is a form of withdrawal, 
and accounts for over half of the patients of all doctors 
and in all hospitals! The list could go on and on, but any 
of the foregoing or similar symptoms probably indicates 
you have a hidden or disguised fear lurking in the depths 
of your subconscious. 

On your fear-hunt, ignore the symptoms which 
disguise your fear and try to trace the cause to the real 
fear, itself. Not being any longer deceived by disguise, 
you often can find it, drag it out into the open, rip off its 
disguise and treat it like any other fear— eliminating it 
forever by the methods we shall describe. 

If you personally can't find your hidden or 
disguised fear, by all means get professional help from 
a psychologist or psychiatrist. 

In any event, the important thing is to know 
what fear you are dealing with. Then eliminate it by one, 
several or all of the following methods: 



(1) DELIBERATELY, UNHESITATINGLY, 
DO THE THING YOU FEAR! Impress on yourself that 
you ARE doing the thing you fear . . . voluntarily . . . de- 
liberately . . . without hesitation! Not timidly— but boldly! 
You probably still will experience the feeling of fear at 
first. Good! Emphasize the feeling of fear! Otter-emphasize 
it! Then deliberately . . . unhesitatingly . . . do the thing 
you fear! Laugh in its face! Ridicule it! Stare your fear 
down! Kick it around! Trample it! Keep aware that you 
ARE doing the thing you fear— and to hell with it! You are 
going to do it anyway! 

(2) REPEATEDLY DO THE THING YOU 
FEAR! Over and over again! Literally wear your fear out. 
(If you want to be scientific about it, this is called the: 
"FEAR EXHAUSTION METHOD".) But by any name, 
the technique is to repeatedly do the thing you fear until 
you don't fear it any more! Not even the least bit! 

(3) LAUGH AT YOUR FEAR! The one thing 
that fear can't stand is to be laughed at. Taunt it! Sneer 
at it! Mock it! Make fun of it! And all the time, keep doing 
the thing you fear . . . deliberately . . . unhesitatingly. 

(4) BE A FATALIST! I'll always remember 
the gangster who was involved, as usual, in a gang war 
with a rival gang. One night, he and two companions were 
shot at from an ambush. A companion on each side of him 
was shot dead. Miraculously, he was unharmed. Later 
when reporters asked if he wasn't afraid that the other 
gang would "get" him, too, he just shrugged and said, 
"WeVe all gotta go sometime, somehow". He was willing 



30 



to take life— and death— as it came, and he wasn't about 
to have the least fear of either. 

(5) DEPEND ON THE LAW OF AVER- 
AGES! By the Law of Averages, most of the things we 
fear never happen. The chances are so overwhelmingly in 
your favor that it is ridiculous to live in fear! Nobody is 
absolutely safe anywhere, any time. But you are reason- 
ably safe. And that is a lot better than being unreasonably 
afraid. 

(6) GET ALL THE FACTS! Not opinions- 
facts! Most fears have as their base the primitive fear of 
the unknown. When you have learned all there is to know 
about whatever is causing your fear, you will find that your 
fear has vanished under the bright light of knowledge. Most 
people who are afraid, are afraid of learning the truth. 
They are afraid they will find out "for sure" that they have 
a serious disease, or that their husband is having an affair 
with another woman, or that they may lose their job. Then 
—right then— is the time to apply the method of "know the 
thing you fear". 

Get the truth, the whole truth, that you are 
afraid of. An early diagnosis of a serious disease has saved 
many lives. 

Find out if your husband's affair is fact or gos- 
sip; then if it is a fact, see a marriage counsellor or an 
attorney. Don't let suspicion and fear eat your heart out. 
Get busy doing something sensible and constructive about 
it. In any event, you 11 eliminate your fear with the bright 
light of knowledge. 



31 



If you are afraid you are going to lose your 
job, find out the fact from the man who knows— your boss. 
Ask what you can do to keep it. You may have faults that 
can be corrected. And your boss will appreciate your forth- 
right attitude. If losing your job is inevitable, the sooner 
you find out about it, the earlier head-start you will have 
in looking for a better job. 

Remember these sure cures for fear: (a) get- 
ting all the facts; and (b ) taking immediate, positive action. 

(7) MAKE YOURSELF FEAR-PROOFl You 
can block fear out of your life by establishing in your mind 
and emotional system a positive, overwhelming response 
to any negative fear you may anticipate. In that way, you 
make yourself fear-proof. For example, I grew up in a 
neighborhood where, as a timid boy, I was constantly 
'picked on" by bigger, tougher boys. This implanted in my 
conscious and subconscious minds, as I grew up, the fear 
that others could bully me, "push me around" and, if I 
timidly resisted, "beat me up". 

So I made myself fear-proof by learning box- 
ing and, later, Judo, Super-Judo, Karate, Aikido, Savate, 
Yawara and deadly Kung Fu. That's just about as protected 
as any human can get. Even after retirement, I keep in 
condition by exercise every day using calisthenics, dy- 
namic-tension, isometric-contraction and weight-lifting. 
This not only is good for my physical condition, but it is 
even better for my mental and emotional condition. I have, 
in the field of self-defense, made myself fearproof, which 
not only has given me physical confidence, but is reward- 
ing mentally and emotionally. 



32 



The process of making yourself fear-proof in 
any field which may have the seeds of fear is very satisfying 
as well as being personally beneficial. Take swimming, for 
example. Suppose you are afraid of the water; afraid of 
drowning. You can spend so much time in the water that 
you will be perfectly "at home" there— without the least 
fear. Get a good swimming instructor. Learn to be an 
expert in all the strokes, especially swimming under water. 
Learn skin-diving. Learn "drown-proofing", which now is 
being taught by the Red Cross and some universities and 
which is a simple method of keeping safely afloat for hours 
unlimited. Soon you will be as much at ease in the water 
as you will be on dry land. You will have become fear-proof 
of water and you will have added a most pleasant expe- 
rience to your enjoyment of life. 

(8) HAVE A DEEP RELIGIOUS FAITH. It 
is not the purpose of this book to intrude into your personal 
religious beliefs or your lack of them. But any discussion 
of the conquest of fear would be incomplete without point- 
ing out that more lives have been kept free of fear by deep, 
constant religious faith— than by any other method. 

This concludes our Conquest of Fear. If you 
use one, several, or all of the methods given here for the 
elimination of your fear or fears, you will rid your life of 
one of its greatest burdens. You will gain a new sense of 
freedom and power. You will feel like— and you actually 
will be— a Conqueror! A Conqueror of Fear! 



33 



Chapter 8 



Give Your OWN Wonder Drug 



Do you know that you now can make your own 
wonder-drug in unlimited quantities? It is one of the 
most powerful wonder-drugs in the world! You can make 
it easily— provided that you give it away. The more you 
give away, the more you can make. It will cost you nothing 
and pay you enormous dividends! 

Here are a few of the many miracle results you 
can get by giving this wonder-drug which you make your- 
self: 

(1) School children, when given your wonder-drug, 
will study more eagerly and get much higher grades. 

(2) Business associates, when given your wonder- 
drug, cooperate with you, help lift you to success and 
wealth. 

(3) Your family and friends, when given your wonder- 
drug, will think you are wonderful and be eager to be 
with you. 



34 



(4) You, with your wonder-drug, will spread happi- 
ness wherever you go. 

(5) When giving your wonder-drug, you will get 
enough of it on yourself to make you happy, suc- 
cessful, popular and rich. 

Since there is a law against making exag- 
gerated claims for drugs, we had better be quick with the 
proof of the foregoing claims for your wonder-drug. 

First, we will have to identify it, give its exact 
name. 

It is: PRAISE! 

What? Such a simple thing as praise, a wonder- 
drug which will work miracles? 

Yes! PRAISE is a wonder-drug and it will 
work miracles! Let's ask one of the foremost psychiatrists 
in the world, Dr. Alfred Adler. Dr. Adler told his patients 
who were the unhappy victims of anxieties, fears and de- 
pression, "You can be cured in 14 days if you think con- 
stantly how you can please someone." 

And what is the best way to please someone? 
What is it that people want more than anything else in 
the world? 

Let's call in another authority, another of the 
foremost in the world: the famed William James of Har- 
vard, America's greatest philosopher-psychologist. William 
James said, "The deepest principle in human nature is the 
craving to be appreciated" 

The way to satisfy this "deepest principle in 
human nature" . . . this "craving to be appreciated 9 is by 
your praise. 



35 



Therefore, praise not only puts into effect the 
wise teaching of William James, but it fulfills Dr. Adler's 
prescription to please someone. 

So among the miracle-cures of your wonder- 
drug, praise, you have it on the highest authority that it 
will cure anxiety, fear, depression in just 14 days! 

Now let's prove the other claims we made for 
your wonder-drug, praise, at the beginning of this chapter. 

(1) In a scientifically supervised test, school 
children were praised for their intelligence and ability, 
and, at the beginning of the test, they were assured that 
the test would be easy for them. They responded to praise 
by doing much better than average and getting very high 
grades. 

Then the same school children were given an- 
other test, equally easy, but were criticized and harassed 
before the test and told it was too difficult for them and 
that they would do poorly. The result was that they did 
very poorly and got very low grades. 

The only difference: PRAISE . . . and more 
evidence that praise is a wonder-drug which produces 
miracle results. 

(2) Business associates, when given your won- 
der drug, praise, will gladly cooperate with you, help lift 
you to success and wealth. Why? Because when you give 
them what they want: praise— they will give you what you 
want: cooperation. When you praise a business associate, 
you give him self-confidence and a sense of security. Crit- 
icize him and you make him feel insecure. He mentally 
labels you as the "hatchet man" who may cost him a promo- 
tion—or even his job! That's why praise is so important in 



36 



all business relationships. It not only makes people like 
you, but it makes them respond by helping you because 
you have made it clear that you will help them. 

(3) Frequently praise your family and friends. 
They will think you are wonderful and be eager to be with 
you. Why? I can't say it better than William James, "The 
deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be 
appreciated." Fulfill that craving with sincere praise and 
everybody will be eager to be with you. 

(4) You, with your wonder-drug— praise— will 
spread happiness wherever you go. That, by now, should 
be self-evident. If it isn't, just try praise— everywhere— for 
just one week! 

(5) When giving your wonder-drug— praise— 
you will get enough of it on yourself to make you happy, 
successful, popular and rich. That is because, when you 
turn the spotlight on others, the reflected glow illuminates 
you more than if you had tried to hold the spotlight on 
yourself. And, finally, praising others will give you the 
mental attitude necessary for success in life. As psychol- 
ogist Dr. Walter Scott, President of Northwestern Univer- 
sity, said, "Success or failure is caused more by mental 
attitudes than by mental capacities." 

PRAISE is a form of giving. It is not only "more 
blessed to give than to receive", as the Bible tells us— but 
it is necessary to give— in order to receive, as life has an 
insistent way of reminding us. 

So give the most desired gift of all. Give the 
gift that satisfies the "craving to be appreciated". 

Give your own wonder-drug: PRAISE! 



37 



Chapter 9 



Are You Fed Up? 



Some time ago, on the front page of my news- 
paper, there was an article headed: "14 Ted-Up' Bus 
Drivers Take New Jobs, Pay Cut". This article should in- 
terest us for a number of reasons: 

(1) The editors of one of the leading news- 
papers in America felt that this event contained so much 
"human interest" that they featured it on the front page. 
Psychologists would say that a great many people would 
"identify" with the bus drivers who were "fed-up" with 
their dealings with other people. Apparently a lot of people 
are "fed-up" with their present jobs and their relations with 
others. 

(2) What were the facts? According to the 
newspaper article, fourteen bus drivers in one large city 
quit their jobs and voluntarily took jobs as bus-cleaners at 
a substantial reduction in pay and with complete loss of 
job seniority up to eighteen years! 



38 



Why did they do this? These fourteen bus driv- 
ers who eagerly sacrificed so much to get out from behind 
the steering wheel and get behind a broom, gave these 
reasons: 

(a) "Passengers hardly ever have the right 
change. They are always pestering us for 
change/' 

( b ) "There's no feeling of cooperation between 
the passengers and us." 

(c) "In the winter, kids throw snowballs at 
our bus." 

(d) And again . . . "that pesky job of making 
change." 

That's why these fourteen bus drivers gave up 
their jobs and long seniority to take lower-paying jobs 
as bus cleaners! 

Now let's not be critical of those poor, harassed 
men. Many people have found peace and happiness by 
admitting that they were incapable of dealing with the 
trivial (and to them, annoying) aspects of human nature 
and then withdrawing to the relative seclusion of more 
solitary jobs. After all, somebody has to do this more 
menial work, and who is better qualified than those who 
cannot get along with their fellow men? 

I would venture this guess, however. Most of 
those men who chose to clean buses will not find happiness 
in that work, either. The irritating passengers will not be 
there, but the debris they left behind, will be. After 
scraping thousands and thousands of wads of used chewing 
gum from beneath the bus seats, the cumulative effect may 



39 



well be just as annoying as was the cumulative effect of 
"making change" for the passengers. 

(3) In any event, the problem results from 
two common causes: 

( a ) Mentally and emotionally building up a 
triviality into a "big thing", instead of main- 
taining a reasonable perspective; and 

(b) Allowing minor irritations to accumu- 
late until they become an unbearable burden, 
instead of taking them in stride as a routine 
part of the job, ignoring and forgetting each 
trivial annoyance immediately. 

As Lincoln said, "A man is just about as happy 
as he makes up his mind to be." I remember another story 
about a bus driver. This bus driver was happy with his 
work. It gave him a wonderful opportunity to meet people 
—thousands of people—all of whom he greeted with a big, 
cheerful smile. "Making change" gave him a little extra 
time to say something pleasant to his passengers. When 
he wasn't chatting happily with his passengers, he softly 
sang or whistled a gay little song. And when, after many 
years of such joyous service, he finally retired— his regular 
passengers gave him a big going-away party. Some of his 
passengers actually cried. And he cried a little, too. Warm 
tears of joy— for the opportunity of having been a bus 
driver, so he could make so many friends! 

Yes, your attitude toward conditions, situations 
and people makes all the difference! As Mr. Lincoln said, 
"A man is just about as happy as he makes up his mind 
to be." 



40 



Chapter 10 



Keep A Firm Foundation 



This nation will stand firm or fall, depending 
upon the strength of the base upon which it is built. 

That base is law. 

The wisdom and fairness of our laws, the im- 
partiality and certainty of their enforcement, and the de- 
terring effect of inescapable, severe punishment for their 
violation, will determine the future of our country. 

There is a growing laxity in all these areas. 

There seems to be a purposeful permissiveness 
in some of our laws and regulations, which indicates a 
deliberate effort to placate vocal pressure groups within 
our society. This is neither wise nor fair. When laws are 
passed, revised or reinterpreted to benefit certain groups 
with the result that other individuals or groups are ad- 
versely affected, the regulatory system of this nation is 
being used improperly. The danger is quite clear. Laws 
are not intended for expediency— but for justice. 



41 



There is considerable variation in the degree 
of certainty with which our laws and regulations are en- 
forced. We excuse this because of the human, and there- 
fore variable, interpretations of the severity of the infrac- 
tions. Law enforcement has become a somewhat personal 
prerogative of the individual or organization entrusted with 
seeing that laws and regulations are obeyed— strictly, ex- 
actly, within their full meaning and intent. 

The situation in the field of law enforcement 
has become so lax that private citizens and pressure groups 
arrogantly and publicly announce that they will obey only 
those laws and regulations which suit their personal pur- 
pose and that they deliberately will openly disobey any 
law which, in their own individual judgment, is not to 
their benefit or is deterring their aims. No nation which 
tolerates such open and hostile defiance of its laws by its 
own citizens can long survive. Even the threat of such 
defiance should incur such disciplinary action as to make 
the act itself avoided because of the assured severity of 
certain punishment. 

No individual, because he is a leader or a vocal 
member of a dissident pressure group, deserves immunity 
from, or should be given probated or trivial punishment 
for, deliberately and defiantly breaking a law or regulation. 
We have developed a fear of making martyrs because it 
might enhance their publicity and propaganda value. This 
is a dishonorable fear which can be eliminated by making 
the punishment for self -provoked martyrdom sufficiently 
severe to make it undesirable. Otherwise, we shall con- 
tinue to have our law enforcement officials under frequent 



42 



provocation by those who would use accusations against 
them to incite agitation for their objectives. 

All levels of law enforcement would greatly 
be improved if the entire citizenry were thoroughly con- 
vinced that the violation of any law or regulation would 
result in inescapable, impartial and severe punishment. 
When I say "severe punishment" I mean so severe that its 
risk would not be justified. 

Too many people are willing to play Russian 
roulette with crime because they know all of the cylinders 
of severe punishment are not loaded. They are being con- 
stantly indoctrinated with the current trend to light 
sentences, suspended sentences, paroled sentences, and 
punishment being deferred interminably by legal maneuv- 
ering. Only when punishment is certain, swift and severe, 
can it serve as a maximum deterrent. 

Certainly, every intelligent effort should be 
made to rehabilitate criminals and, being very sure we 
have done so, to return them to freedom. But it is much 
better to prevent their becoming criminals in the first 
place. The preventive, or at least, the deterrent, is certain, 
swift and severe punishment. 

Of course, the ultimate ideal is a total moral 
abhorrence of and abstention from, all crime by all people. 
It is a far distant state, but one which deserves constant 
seeking. However, in the meantime, the problem of in- 
creasing and flagrant law violation is here now. It must 
be dealt with by using the means at hand. 

The very survival of this free nation depends 
upon respect for, and enforcement of, law and order. If it 



43 



is necessary to improve the wisdom and fairness of our 
laws, the impartiality and certainty of their enforcement, 
and the deterring effect of inescapable, severe punishment 
for their violation— let us get on with the task. 

This nation stands on the base of law. Let us 
be sure that foundation is firm and secure. 



44 



Chapter 11 



Lunatics Never Unite! 



Years ago, before improvements were made 
in mental hospitals, a visitor was escorted through a 
mental hospital by the superintendent. He finally was 
taken to a balcony overlooking a ward where the most 
dangerous "lunatics" were kept. One hundred violently 
dangerous lunatics, watched over by only three guards! 

The visitor was aghast. He turned to the super- 
intendent and asked, "Aren't you afraid those dangerous 
lunatics will gang up on the guards?" 

The superintendent calmly replied, "No, luna- 
tics never unite." 

There is a lesson in that statement for all per- 
sons, groups and nations. Evidently many of us haven't 
been sufficiently impressed by the wisdom which has 
come ringing down through the years: 

"In union there is strength!" 

"United we stand; divided we fall!" 



45 



Perhaps, we will be more impressed by the dra- 
matic implication in: "Lunatics never unite" 

To the extent that we, as people, as groups, or 
as nations, achieve unity of thought, unity of feeling, unity 
of purpose— to that extent will our strengths be joined. 

The secret of power is no secret. It simply is 

uniting joining together with a singleness of thought, 

feeling and purpose. The more people who can unite, the 
more groups which can be joined together, the more 
nations which can collaborate— the greater will be their 
combined power. 

How much weakness there is in disunity! 

And, how much danger! Because the farther 
apart our positions, the more nearly they become opposites. 
When we reach opposite positions, we are placed in readi- 
ness for the most damaging collision course. 

Lunatics! 

Yes, lunatics! That's what our divisiveness is 
proving us to be. Because: LUNATICS NEVER UNITE! 



46 



Chapter 12 



Frustration Causes Aggression 



Frustration-caused aggression is the basic fac- 
tor in many human tragedies from personal incompatabili- 
ties to major wars. 

Since frustration is a primary ingredient in 
almost all (some scientists say all) aggression— overt or re- 
pressed—it would be useless as well as impractical to 
attempt to list all such situations here. However, it may 
indicate their variety and magnitude, to list a few of many 
problems resulting from frustration-caused aggression: 

Infant misbehavior, school failures, juvenile 
delinquency, unhappy marriages, business difficulties, dis- 
agreeable personalities, minority-group social-racial unrest, 
individual and group protest activities, riots, revolutions 
and wars. 

Since the frustration-aggression sequence is at 
the root (and usually is the root) of so many, varied and 
tragic problems, it demands our most serious consideration. 



47 



It is the principal purpose of this book to stimulate thought, 
and no attempt will be made here to solve a problem of 
this magnitude. It simply is hoped that this chapter may, 
in its limited way, indicate areas of solution and direct your 
thoughts into channels which should be stimulating and 
productive. 

To simplify our approach, let's accept the con- 
clusion of many leading scientists that: aggression is always 
a consequence of frustration. (Frustration and Aggression: 
Yale University Press, New Haven, Conn.) And let us 
be quick to point out that frustration-caused aggression 
is not always overt and recognizable as aggression, but 
often is repressed and festers in our subconscious to later 
appear in some disguised resentment, hatred, antagonistic 
feeling or misbehavior. We have been taught to suppress 
openly aggressive acts, but this does not mean that the 
aggression, itself, actually is eliminated. It merely is re- 
pressed into our subconscious and, unless eliminated, can 
do incalculable harm. 

Let's have a closer look: 

An infant is subjected to many frustrating ex- 
periences which are all the more acute because the child 
is too young to understand the reasons for the drastic 
changes required in its behavior. Complete changes in 
food, eating habits, personal cleanliness and toilet training 
are just a few of the frustrations which accumulate to 
provoke the period of "frequent and exaggerated stubborn- 
ness" between the ages of two and four years, and which 
usually reaches its peak at the age of two and a half. 

And then, as the child grows up, there are the 
frustrations of home life, school, and becoming a part of 



48 



the social system of its group. Each frustration creates 
aggression— overt or suppressed. 

Physical measurements, muscular coordination 
and intelligence tests show that the average boy or girl at 
the age of fifteen has, by any accepted criterion, the 
capacities of an adult, lacking only the experience and 
training which are acquired by most of us through later 
years. Otherwise, boys and girls of fifteen are adultly 
equipped to cope with their environment and to take part 
fully in the society of adults. 

But boys and girls of fifteen are not considered 
to be adults by their elders. They are not respected as 
adults. They are not treated as adults and usually deter- 
mined efforts are made to impress upon them their inferior 
status. Their activities are limited, their independence is 
not tolerated and many of the restrictions of childhood 
remain in force. 

There is no doubt that many of the usual re- 
strictions and limitations placed upon these young adults 
are necessary— socially, economically and morally. The 
manner and form in which these limitations are imposed 
are worthy of most serious consideration because when 
you treat an adult as a child— no matter how necessary and 
well-intentioned your motives— you cause the most intense 
frustrations. And "aggression is always the consequence 
of frustration" 

Now let's move our spotlight of thought to 
the subject of unhappy marriages. The rapidly increasing 
divorce rate is an inadequately low indicator (quantita- 
tively and qualitatively) of unhappy marriages for too 



49 



many obvious reasons to discuss here. It is sufficient to 
state that any marriage counselor will unequivocally assure 
you that most unhappy marriages are the result of frustra- 
tion with its accompanying aggression, overt, or repressed 
into the subconscious where it may reappear as resent- 
ment, scorn, jealousy, bitterness, nagging, temper out- 
bursts, easily hurt feelings and general unpleasantness. 
So, frustration and its resulting aggression are the prime 
causes of unhappy marriages. 

And frustration goes on to other areas of life, 
to cause incalculable damage. Business, by its very nature 
—its complexities, constant personal contact, competition, 
change, ambition, pressure— is a spawning ground of frus- 
trations of every description and magnitude. Not only does 
business cause frustrations, but it stimulates aggression by 
requiring competition within companies in the constant 
building and rebuilding of each corporate power super- 
structure. 

When you combine ambitious power struggles 
at the higher levels, personality conflicts at all levels, and 
labor-management problems ranging from hostile disputes 
to violent strikes— all within one company environment— 
you have the ingredients which produce frustration and 
aggression on a grand scale! 

Add to the intracompany frustration, the com- 
petitive aggression of the market place— and the result is 
the well-named Corporate Jungle. No wonder business 
men have ulcers, nervous breakdowns and heart attacks! 

There is no easy solution to ending or even 
greatly reducing the frustration which is so firmly built into 



50 



business. It is a part of the very nature of business, itself, 
for business is almost totally a competitive, aggressive 
struggle to achieve superiority or often even to survive. 

Nevertheless, the elimination of as much busi- 
ness frustration as possible is one of the first orders of our 
time. This must be done or the internal friction it is causing 
will grind our business machine to pieces. High rewards 
will go to those who can reduce the frustrations within a 
business or turn those frustrations into non-aggressive chan- 
nels. 

Already much is being done to give competition 
in the market place a "game image" to relieve some of 
the frustrations, tensions and pressures of what some sales 
executives call "survival combat". 

But perhaps the most dramatic example that 
"aggression is always a consequence of frustration' is found 
in the open aggression of minority groups, such as some 
Negroes in the United States. Here is the perfect example 
of almost every kind of frustration being accumulated and 
compounded over many years, until the inevitably resulting 
aggression has crashed upon the American scene with the 
release of pent-up hostility, uncompromising demands, pro- 
vocative demonstrations, threats of violence and numerous 
riots. 

Such mass aggression gives birth to leadership 
which escalates the group frustrations. Some leaders do this 
with social responsibility and exhortations to non-violence. 
Other leaders take advantage of the emotional extremism 
of the type of followers they attract and incite violent 



51 



aggressiveness for the sheer exhiliration of their own dem- 
onstration of personal power. 

Undoubtedly, the initial frustrations were justi- 
fied. Undoubtedly, the conditions which caused them 
should be rectified and will, to a great extent, be alleviated 
in time. However, the violence and hostility of such mass 
aggression and especially the uncompromising demands 
accompanied by threats that all these demands must be 
met in full "now," has caused extreme frustrations among 
those millions against whom the aggression is directed. 
These frustrations have created a counter-aggressiveness 
which will retard fully-accepted solutions to these problems 
for years, leaving scars of overt and suppressed hatred 
and ill-will like those of the Civil War. Token and surface 
solutions may be forced for political advantages and men 
of good will, working with patience and moderation, will 
some day alleviate the hostility of the aggression and thus 
dissipate the defiant counter-aggression which it engen- 
dered. 

It is extremely important to note that all Ne- 
groes in the United States were not frustrated, or to the 
extent to which they were frustrated, they directed their 
aggression into channels of personal achievement. In either 
case, their lack of hostile aggression has made possible 
their acceptance, popularity, acclaim and accomplishments 
which have far exceeded those of many white people. For 
example, there are Negro entertainers, athletes, educators, 
business men, government leaders and many other Negroes 
of whom this country is very proud and whom it accepts 
and admires with a feeling that is entirely non-racial. 



52 



This acceptance and integration of Negroes as 
complete equals to whites in every respect is demonstrated 
in the United States Armed Services. As a direct result of 
having eliminated the cause, there is no Negro frustration 
as to their status or acceptance as equal members of the 
Armed Services— and there is no aggressive feeling toward 
white fellow-soldiers. (If any frustration exists, the aggres- 
sion it causes is soon dispelled by the necessity of directing 
it toward the enemy.) In the Armed Services, the equal, 
integrated, accepted, unfrustrated Negro has distinguished 
himself with skill, courage and heroism which has won the 
admiration of his white comrades and the entire nation. 

When you compare the unfrustrated, successful 
Negro in civilian life or the unfrustrated, heroic Negro in 
the Armed Services with the frustrated, socially-aggressive 
Negro demonstrating, protesting, rioting in the streets— you 
have a dramatic example of the frustration-aggression cycle 
at work. And you can clearly see that as frustration is 
eliminated, aggression is eliminated. 

You can analyze this on a much larger scale as 
a cause of wars between nations. 

Nations, because of strong nationalist feelings, 
ethnic incompatibilities, desires to be superior and just 
plain greed, tend to actions and pronouncements which 
often cause frustrations in other nations. These national 
frustrations cause aggressive feelings in direct proportion 
to the degree of frustration. Too often, instead of diminish- 
ing or eliminating the frustration and the aggressive feel- 
ings which it provokes, each nation escalates the frustration- 
aggression cycle. The more the frustration-aggression is 



53 



escalated, the less it is repressed, and the more overt and 
openly hostile it becomes. Unless this escalation is stopped 
or controlled, the ultimate result is war. 

And so, now we have examined frustration- 
caused aggression from its early appearance in infant be- 
havior, through adolescence problems, unhappy marriages, 
business difficulties, group protests and international rela- 
tions. The list could be endless, but the categories dis- 
cussed are sufficient to develop three conclusions: 

(1) Aggression always is a consequence of 
frustration, and . . . 

( 2 ) Since frustration-caused aggression usually 
is, at best, disagreeable, and, at worst, disastrous— it should 
be avoided or eliminated, unless . . . 

(3) The existence of the specific frustration- 
aggression is preferable to the consequences of avoiding 
or eliminating it. 

The first two conclusions should now be obvi- 
ous. The third should be emphasized, lest this chapter be 
interpreted as suggesting that tranquility be preserved at 
any price. 

Therefore, before we examine various methods 
of avoiding or eliminating some of the frustrations which 
cause overt or repressed aggression, let us acknowledge 
that there are frustrations which we should not try to alle- 
viate by submissive permissiveness— because the conse- 
quences of such permissiveness would be far worse than the 
aggressions resulting from the frustrations, themselves. 

A few brief examples will suffice: 



54 



(a) Your young, inexperienced, teen-age 
daughter insists on staying out on dates as late at night 
as she chooses. If you restrict her dating hours, you will 
frustrate her desires, which include her status in her group. 
The result of the frustration will be shown in her aggressive 
attitude toward you, and result in unpleasantness in the 
home. However, you prefer that to the social, moral and 
other dangers which might result from her late-dating. So 
you restrict her dating hours and accept the results of the 
^frustration-aggression caused by your restriction. 

(b) Racial minorities, whose frustrations are 
justified and should be relieved, often have had their 
frustrations dramatized and further provoked by power- 
seeking leaders. This has caused such rapidly escalating 
aggression that they demand that all their grievances be 
redressed "now"— without regard for the chaos, frustrations 
and counter-aggression their threats and urgent demands 
have on the community. Many communities have not been 
panicked nor stampeded, but have chosen to restrain the 
frustration-aggression of the incited minority groups, while 
patiently and intelligently working to solve their problems 
with moderation and temperance— through cooperation. 

(c) In international relations, certain coun- 
tries, greedy for more territory and power, have claimed 
territory belonging to other countries. They incite frus- 
tation and aggressiveness among their own people and use 
this as a basis of threats. Nations capable of defending 
their presently established boundaries would be foolish 
indeed to succumb to such pressures of self -incited frustra- 
tion-aggression on the part of their neighbors. It would 



55 



not only be irrational, but suicidal, to retreat at every 
threat of an aggressive neighboring country. 

It is apparent that I am not an advocate of the 
psychology of submissive permissiveness in any category 
from child-rearing to international relations. I believe that 
discipline (especially self-discipline, but imposed disci- 
pline, if necessary) will ultimately form stronger character 
than permissiveness. 

I have little patience or respect for those who 
use the frustration-aggression sequence as a threat. That 
includes the child, teen-ager or adult who says (or dem- 
onstrates): "Unless you permit me freely to do whatever 
I want to do, I shall be frustrated and, as a result, I shall 
be aggressive in my feelings and reactions." 

We hear that same type of threat from some 
leaders of racial minority groups, who say in effect: "We 
have a long and frustrating list of wants and unless we are 
given everything we want NOW, our frustration shall be- 
come aggression (in varying forms of violence, depending 
upon the extremism of the leader and his followers) and 
we shall be impelled to cause chaos, riot and revolt in the 
community/' Now that kind of threat, and especially the 
immediacy of the demanded benefits, may panic some 
politicians into frenzied token compliance, but it inevitably 
creates a grass-roots counter-frustration-aggression which 
eventually retards the deserved improvements which could 
be gained by a more moderate, logical approach. 

On an international level, nations use the frus- 
tration-aggression threat against other countries. Com- 
munist China currently is providing the most alarming 



56 



example. Certainly, no other great country is so beset with 
frustrations. That most of China's frustrations are self- 
created does not make them less productive of aggressions 
which are violently hostile, internally as well as externally. 

Of course, frustration is not the only cause of 
aggression, but it usually is present, sometimes as a cause, 
and often as a convenient excuse. 

So, while the avoidance or elimination of frus- 
tration may not always be the best solution, it can, in so 
many instances, be of such great value that we should now 
see what can be done about it. 

Basically, the avoidance or elimination of frus- 
tration and frustration-caused aggression can be accom- 
plished by the following common-sense methods: 

(1) Don't cause frustration in the first place. 
Discipline yourself to avoid imposing unnecessary re- 
straints and inflicting personal irritations: 

(a) Don't restrain, restrict or confine any per- 
son or group more than absolutely necessary. 

(b) Don't impede another's progress toward 
his reasonable objective. 

(c) Don't contradict or argue. Silence is usu- 
ally more effective, anyway. 

(d) Don't annoy. Being annoying is merely 
giving vent to your own frustrations. 

(e) Don't obviously impose your will. Manip- 
ulate the situation so that the other person will think what 
you want is his own idea. 

(f ) Don't belittle, don't ridicule, don't detract 



57 



from the other person's feeling of importance, his desire 
to be admired, his favorable self-image. 

(2) If frustration already exists— eliminate it. 
Then there will be no further cause for aggression. 

(a) Stop doing the things which have caused 
the frustration. Subject every action which might possibly 
cause frustration, to the following test: Is this action 
ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY or is it merely an expression 
of my own personal preference? You will find that most 
restrictions, restraints, contradictions, arguments and an- 
noyances are not ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY and the 
frustration-aggression they cause could easily be avoided 
by eliminating them. 

(b) Reason away the frustration by "selling" 
the need for or desirability of the restraint or other action 
which MUST be taken. Restrictions and other often frus- 
tration-producing actions need not be frustrating. It usually 
is the manner in which they are imposed that provokes the 
initial feelings of frustration. Properly explained, necessary 
restrictions are accepted as being necessary, and therefore 
do not cause frustration. It is the parent who proclaims, 
"You may not do this . . . you may not do that!" . . . 
without explanation, and too often without a logical reason 
possible of explanation, who causes frustration-aggression 
in children. 

(c) Immediately follow a frustration-creating 
action with a substitute offer which, if possible, is equal to, 
or more desirable than, the necessary restriction. For ex- 
ample, management says to labor, "We cannot pay all of 
the wage increase you ask, but we can modify your pension 



58 



plan to provide even more money when you will most 
need it." Or, the parent says to the teen-age daughter, 
"You cannot have a date tonight because you need to study 
for your math exam, but you can have a birthday party 
at the club Saturday night." 

(d) Take an opposite position to that which 
caused the frustration. For example: If you have caused 
a feeling of frustration-aggression by belittling a person 
and thus reducing his feeling of importance and damaging 
his precious self-image, take an opposite position; openly 
express your admiration for his good qualities, repairing 
the damage to his self-image by commendation and praise. 
Tactfully and sincerely done, this will erase the frustration. 

(e) Eliminate or reduce the feeling of frustra- 
tion. Remember, it is not what happens to a person, but 
how he feels about what happens, that really counts. Thus, 
if you can induce the feeling that the restrictions, restraints 
or whatever, are not of great consequence— if you de- 
emphasize their impact by not "making a major produc- 
tion" out of them— you, to that extent, directly de-emphasize 
the feeling of frustration. 

(3) In some cases, you must eliminate, divert 
or suppress aggression first— before eliminating the frustra- 
tion which caused it. (Always, you eventually must elimi- 
nate the frustration, too. ) Here are some ways by which 
you can eliminate aggression: 

(a) Psychiatrists call it "catharsis". This means 
that you drag the feeling of aggression out of the sub- 
conscious, expose it in the open, give it full expression and 
it will use itself up until it no longer exists. 



59 



(b) Don't let aggressive feelings get started. 
Use the same preventive methods just recommended for 
preventing frustration. 

(c) Suppress the aggression until you can 
eliminate the frustration which caused it. Overt aggression 
can be suppressed in direct proportion to the severity of 
inescapable punishment. However, suppressed aggression 
leads to more frustration, which leads to more aggression. 
So don't suppress the aggression long— and work rapidly 
to eliminate the frustration which caused it. 

(d) Channel aggression into beneficial activi- 
ties, useful purposes. Aggression is not, in itself, evil or 
undesirable. Aggression can stimulate terrific energy which, 
if directed into worthwhile channels, can lead to great 
achievement. Many a mediocre person has become so 
aggressive against the frustrations of life which were hold- 
ing him back, that he attacked his problems with such 
energy and determination that success was inevitable and 
his life goal was quickly attained. 

I have tried, in this chapter, to outline some of 
the facts about the frustration-aggression cycle which is 
such a powerful factor at all levels, from infant behavior 
to international relations. In so limited space, it was not 
my purpose to fully solve many of the problems outlined, 
but I hope I have kept the promise in the title of this book 
and given you some "Thoughts To Build On". 



60 



Chapter 13 



In All Fairness . . . 



In all fairness . . . everyone should be alerted 
to an innocent-sounding word which can be used to rub 
a raw emotional nerve— with devastating effect. 

Some time ago, I watched and listened to a 
political debate on television. This debate was followed by 
an hour radio program, during which the public was invited 
to telephone its comments on the debate. The telephone 
comments were broadcast directly so that all listeners could 
hear not only the spoken words, but the revealing tones 
of voice. 

Anything I may have learned about the political 
issues debated was completely overshadowed by the reve- 
lation of an important aspect of human nature as disclosed 
by those telephone calls. Since you will be dealing with 
this same human nature all of your life, the following 
observations may serve as a reminder of a valuable lesson 
I'm sure you already know but which warrants reviewing. 



61 



Admittedly, I did not discover a new technique 
in dealing with people. This technique is one of the oldest, 
best-known and most effective. It is because of the last 
point that I feel it should be re-emphasized. 

The debate itself was less than outstanding. 
It was characterized by an experienced politician-lawyer 
using an aggressive court-room manner to try to undermine 
the voters' confidence in the long voting record of his 
opponent, a distinguished senator who had served in public 
office for many years. The senator countered with a calm, 
sincere account of his seriously-considered reasons for vot- 
ing as he did on the issues under debate. 

Now, here is the important point: The senator 
also frequently emphasized that his opponent's accusations 
were "UNFAIR" because he said they were untrue, inaccu- 
rate or taken out of context. 

It is not the purpose of this chapter to analyze 
the merits or the accuracy of either side of the debate. It is 
my purpose to point out the results of the use of the word: 
"unfair" which was so often used by the senator to charac- 
terize the accusations and statements of his opponent. 

As previously mentioned, this debate was im- 
mediately followed by an hour radio program, during which 
listeners gave their opinions of it by telephone calls broad- 
cast directly over the radio. With few exceptions, the 
opponent of the senator was vehemently attacked. He was 
called most of the derogatory names permitted on the 
radio. Long distance telephone calls were made to de- 
nounce him. And— note this— in almost every call, his per- 
formance in the debate was labeled: "unfair" All kinds of 



reasons were given for criticizing him, but they almost 
always also stated or implied that he was "unfair." The 
word or idea: "unfair 99 was the axis around which the 
criticism revolved. 

Frankly, the vehemence of the first few radio- 
telephone calls rather surprised me. I had listened care- 
fully to the debate, which was conducted with courtesy 
and decorum. Although they belonged to different political 
parties, there actually was little difference in the real politi- 
cal philosophies of either candidate. But, later, as the 
telephone criticisms continued to be broadcast, and as 
more and more members of even his party expressed 
their outrage at the "unfairness 9 of the one candidate's con- 
duct of the debate, I sat back to absorb a refresher course 
in the emotional power of the word: "unfair". 

Few words in our language are so packed with 
emotional power. The accusation: "illegal" gives rise to 
judicial weighing of legal concepts and possible legal con- 
sequences. The accusation "untrue" also causes thoughtful, 
though sometimes resentful, consideration of the facts. 
But the word: "unfair" rubs a raw, emotional nerve. It 
builds sympathy for anyone supposedly treated "unfairly" 
and, at the same time, provokes often unwarranted hostility 
toward whoever is alleged to indulge in such unjust treat- 
ment of another. 

People will accept with some tolerance many 
impositions which would seem to be more offensive, but 
when "unfairness" is accused, rational judgment is aban- 
doned and hostile emotion takes over. Instantly there is the 



63 



mental picture of the bully taking unjust advantage of the 
innocent underdog. 

This was learned by labor unions in the early 
days of their organization. In fact, the word: "unfair" was 
so prevalent on picket signs, that its use by labor unions is 
included in the definition of "unfair" in the dictionary as 
an example of its use. 

The fact is that the word: "unfair" is a push- 
button emotional word which can be used to attract sym- 
pathy to yourself and arouse hostility toward your oppon- 
ent. 

I am simply pointing out a powerful psycholog- 
ical fact. If you choose to use it, and how and to what 
extent you choose to engage in psychological warfare— is 
up to you. 



64 



Chapter 14 



Plant Quarters -Reap Happiness 



Did you ever find money? 

When you were walking along a sidewalk or 
through a parking lot or in the aisle of a store, have you 
ever glanced down and found a bright, shiny quarter? 

If you have unexpectedly found a quarter, 
think back and try to recall exactly how pleasantly surprised 
and happy you felt. You picked it up, perhaps looked at it 
for a moment with a feeling of being lucky, and maybe 
even told others of your good luck. Many people keep the 
money that they find. They put it in a special place as 
tokens of their good luck and as reminders that they are 
lucky. 

Now, actualy there isn't anything very impor- 
tant about unexpectedly finding a quarter. 

Or is there? 

It isn't the value of the money. A quarter won't 
buy much these days. The value is in feeling that— suddenly 
—you are lucky! It may even start you feeling that now 



65 



your luck has changed for the better. 

Is this really important? Yes! Very important! 
Psychologists will tell you that it is not what happens, but 
how you feel about what happens, which actually matters. 
Mental capacities are not nearly so beneficial as mental 
attitudes. You become what you think you are. 

And, it just so happens, that one of the most 
beneficial mental attitudes you can have is that you are 
lucky. 

Success counselors will advise you to get and 
keep "that lucky feeling." Why? Because it makes you 
expect to get the good things in life. And what you 
expect to get— you get! 

I want to encourage that lucky attitude in 
people. So I plant quarters for them to find. I stoop on 
the sidewalk to tie my shoe lace and place a quarter next 
to my shoe before I walk off. In a parking lot, I examine 
my rear tire and inconspicuously place a quarter beside it 
before driving away. In a store, I stop to examine mer- 
chandise and secretly leave a quarter beside it. 

Of course, I never look back. I never stand 
around and watch to see who finds my quarters. That 
would spoil my imaginings of the delight of a lucky child, 
the surprise and unexpected pleasure of a grown-up who 
for a fleeting moment can become a child again, finding 
"treasure". If I don't look back, I can imagine what I will. 

Like all coins, there are two sides to my planted 
quarters: the "good luck" feeling they give the finders and 
the fun I get playing this simple little game with Life. 

Why don't you try planting quarters, too? 



66 



Chapter 15 



Practice (In Your Imagination) Makes 

Perfect 



The only way you can really become an expert 
in almost any endeavor is to practice intensively in your 
imagination. That's what the professionals do. And a 
professional either does it right— or he doesn't get paid. 
That's what the experts do— and that's how they got to be 
experts. 

So practicing in your imagination is not some 
kind of hocus-pocus. It is the proper (and now accepted) 
use of the soundest psychological and physiological prin- 
ciples. 

In golf you couldn't possibly think of all the 
things you must do to make a perfect drive, stroke or putt 
—while you are doing them— any more than you could 
consciously direct each intricate movement of your hands 
and fingers while playing the piano or typing a letter. 



67 



You simply cannot think that rapidly with your 
conscious mind, so that job is delegated by nature to your 
subconscious mind which operates at miraculous speed 
and with perfect accuracy. In fact, your subconscious mind 
directs almost everything you think, feel or do— from 
operating your heartbeat to providing the goal-seeking 
procedure by which you make a fortune if that's what 
you instruct it to do. 

Let's see how you practice in your imagination 
(by using your subconscious mind) in sports. Take bowl- 
ing. First, you must learn how to bowl with as perfect 
form as possible. You do this by taking lessons from an 
expert, by watching champions bowl and by studying the 
many excellent self -instruction books written and illustrated 
by the best bowlers in the world. 

Then, having thoroughly learned exactly what 
to do, you practice. You practice in two ways: (1) Actual 
practice by really bowling (preferably under the watchful 
eyes of an expert instructor ) . ( 2 ) You practice each move- 
ment in your imagination, over and over again— having 
first learned to do it perfectly. It is absolutely essential 
that you know how to do it perfectly, before you practice 
in your imagination, because that's exactly how you will 
do it in the future. 

How do you practice in your imagination? 
First, you relax in an easy chair in a quiet room away from 
all distractions. (You don't have to, but it's best.) Then 
you, mentally, take each perfect movement at a time and 
consciously visualize your performing that movement to 
perfection. Over and over again. 



68 



Actually you are impressing mental pictures of 
your executing the movement perfectly— into your sub- 
conscious mind. It is vital that you know that your sub- 
conscious mind cannot understand instructions from your 
conscious mind except in the form of mental pictures. 
If your subconscious is shown the word "lif t", it will receive 
only the individual letters "L-I-F-T" which will mean 
nothing to it except how to spell the word. But if your 
conscious mind frequently impresses into your subconscious 
mind the mental picture of your imparting a "lift" to your 
bowling ball by squeezing your fingers at the instant of 
release, your subconscious mind will make that 'lift" a 
part of your actual bowling delivery and you will get 
many more consecutive strikes because of the extra "spin" 
imparted to your ball. 

It is a proven psychological principle that 
whatever mental pictures you impress into your subcon- 
scious mind, those exact mental pictures will be material- 
ized into reality. So be sure your mental pictures are per- 
fect. 

That is the advantage of practicing in your 
imagination. You can practice perfection. But when you 
actually practice by physically performing all the intricate 
actions, you cannot concentrate on each rapid, individual 
movement to perfection and so you actually are practicing 
how to do it wrong instead of right. 

Practice does not "make perfect," as the old 
saying used to tell us. Only practice of perfection makes 
perfect. And until you become a real expert, you can only 
practice perfection in your imagination. 



Physical repetition of an action does not nec- 
essarily improve it. Certainly it does not assure perfection. 
You may only be teaching yourself how to do it wrong. 

Remember the story about the new employee 
at the sawmill. The foreman had just instructed him in the 
use of a large, powerful electric saw. As the foreman turned 
away, he heard the new employee yell, "Ouch!" 

When the foreman rushed back to see what had 
happened, the new employee explained, "All I did was 
just put my hand over here . . . well, I'll be damned- 
there goes another one!" 

Mere physical repetition does not assure per- 
fection—or even improvement. You must first learn the 
proper form. Then practice perfection in your imagination 
by consciously impressing into your subconscious mind 
mental pictures of your performing each action perfectly. 
Only then are you ready to physically practice and get the 
physical "feel" of what you have mentally practiced. 

That's how the pros do it, that's how the experts 
do it— in every sport and, in fact, in all situations which 
require practice to develop proficiency such as public 
speaking, selling, meeting people, and just about every 
situation you can imagine. 

One of the most distinguished, poised and 
charming women of our time says that she never enters a 
room full of people without first stopping to practice in her 
imagination how she will greet each person with friendly 
confidence, poise and charm. 

If practicing in imagination is the proven way 
to perfection— why don't YOU do it, too? 



70 



Chapter 16 



How To Survive 



We hear a lot about survival, these days. Sur- 
vival from this danger. Survival from that danger. It all 
sounds so ominous. 

Perhaps we had better make our own do-it- 
yourself survival kit. 

Let's start by looking at history and see how 
survival has been accomplished— starting all the way back 
to the beginning of life on this planet. 

Basically there have been two consecutive steps 
to survival throughout the ages: 

(1) FIRST . . . ADJUST to your existing 
environment. 

(2) Having first adjusted, CONSTANTLY 
IMPROVE what you then are. 

Let's see how these two survival steps worked 
in the past and how they will work in the present. 

First, the principle of adjusting to existing 
environment: In prehistoric ages and throughout the long 



71 



evolution of plant and animal life, only those plants and 
animals which adjusted to their changing environment 
survived. 

Those plants which did not adjust to the chang- 
ing temperatures, soil, moisture and other growth factors 
simply did not survive. Those which did adjust, took the 
first necessary step in survival. 

The early forms of animal life had to do the 
same thing— and more. Animal life had to adjust to the 
elements— and it also had to adjust to living in the same 
environment with other animals. This adjusting to living 
in the same environment with other animals consisted of 
fleeing safely when attacked or defeating the other animals 
in combat, or "joining them" by making some accommo- 
dation which would permit living peacefully together. 

Now, let's examine the second necessary step 
to survival, which is: Having first adjusted to your environ- 
ment, you must constantly improve what you then are. 
This is the "law of the jungle". It also is a fundamental law 
of life. Survival depends, not only on adjustment, but on 
constant improvement which will enable you to keep up 
with or, preferably, to surpass competition within your 
environment. 

For example, in plant life, a pretty little flower 
might be well adjusted to the elements of its environment, 
but not improve in such a way as to prevent being smoth- 
ered out of existence by other plants which constantly 
improved in growth, size, strength and in rapidly expand- 
ing their area coverage. 



72 



An animal might adjust to its natural environ- 
ment and its relations with other animals and thus tem- 
porarily survive— but if that animal did not improve at a 
rate equal to, or exceeding, that of competing animals, it 
soon would become so inferior that it would no longer 
survive the competition of the other animals which had 
become increasingly superior. 

Thus, by a study of the history of evolution of 
all plants and animals, we find that the two steps for 
survival set forth at the beginning of this chapter have been 
necessary from the first stages of life on this planet to and 
including the present. 

So let's see how these two steps for survival 
apply to various situations in present times and let's start 
with a specific example: YOU! 

Let's apply step number one: Adjust to your 
existing environment. In your family, home, neighborhood, 
job, business; wherever you are at any time— you first must 
"fit in," adjust, cooperate, participate and (you may not 
like this word) conform. 

What? In a free country? Can't you do what 
you like? 

Can't you be unconventional? Can't you ex- 
press your individuality, no matter how radical? Why 
must you "fit in," adjust, conform? 

The answer is quick and simple: You must 
first "fit in", adjust, conform, in order to "survive". Of 
course, I don't mean "survive" in terms of life and death, 
although that sometimes has been the case. I mean "sur- 



73 



vive" in terms of being an effective, acceptable, compatible 
personality. 

And especially note the word: "first." You must 
first "fit in", adjust, cooperate, participate and conform in 
your relations to your family, home, neighborhood, job, 
business environment. You first must make whatever ad- 
justments are necessary to make you acceptable. That gets 
you "in" on the best possible terms. Do otherwise and 
you just won t be accepted; you 11 arouse opposition, antag- 
onism—and reap a harvest of trouble. 

Then, having first made whatever adjustments 
are necessary to conform to the established requirements 
of your environment and thus having been accepted as a 
welcome part of the group— you can put the second prin- 
ciple of "survival" into effect and begin the process of 
improvement. 

Let's look at these two principles of "survival" 
in a specific instance. Let's assume that you have been 
promoted to a position of executive responsibility in your 
business. If you start out by not adjusting to your new 
environment, if you do not conform to the expectations of 
those who promoted you, if you do not cooperate, partici- 
pate, "fit in", make yourself an acceptable part of the man- 
agement team— you will not "survive" in your new job. Not 
doing what is required to be "in", you soon will be "out"— 
because you violated the first principle of survival: first 
. . . adjust to your environment. 

Now, let's suppose you use this first principle 
of survival. You adjust to all of the requirements of your 
new job environment; you do everything to conform fully 



74 



to the expectations of those who promoted you; you co- 
operate wholeheartedly with all company policies; you 
participate enthusiastically in all company activities; you 
"fit in" perfectly as an accepted, welcome member of the 
management team. Naturally, you "survive" in your new 
job. Why? Specifically, because you have used the first 
principle of survival which has been proven throughout the 
ages since the very beginning of life, itself. 

So, being "in", accepted, safe, secure— you are 
in a position to use the second principle of survival: Having 
first adjusted— improve what you then are. So begin im- 
proving yourself, your work-effectiveness, your employee- 
management cooperation. Take, as your business motto: 
"How can I do it better?" Make constant improvement a 
way of life. 

The unaccepted outsider who demands im- 
provement of our business, social, or political structure will 
generate great annoyance, irritation, resentment and resist- 
ance—while the accepted conformist can work from the 
inside for gradual, acceptable improvement at a rate ad- 
justed to the tolerance of that which is to be improved. 

The teaching of first adapting, adjusting, "fitting 
in," conforming, will not be welcome or acceptable to the 
exhibitionists, egocentrics, show-offs and all those who are 
burdened by a warped psvchosis which can onlv be fulfilled 
by attracting attention to themselves by their own non- 
conformity. 

Nor will the lessons of this chapter be accepted 
by the revolutionaries who attempt to force, emotionally 



75 



or physically, their own selfish "improvements" on society 
from outside the established social structure. 

As this is being written, the vast nation of 
China, which once was the seat of world culture, learning, 
progress and power, has become a depressing example of 
the results of being unwilling to adapt, adjust and conform 
in any way to any of the various forms of political, social, 
economic and moral concepts held by progressive nations 
throughout the world. Instead, China persists in vainly 
attempting to impose its own archaic political, economic 
and social philosophy on underdeveloped nations by infil- 
trated revolutionaries from within and open aggression 
from without. 

As a result, China is ostracized by the outside 
world and shattered within its own borders. The correc- 
tions which China needs to make are clearly evident from 
the lessons of this chapter. 

Coming closer to home, we have what amounts 
to a kind of Negro revolution here in the United States. 
The problem, its cause and cure are far too vast and com- 
plex to analyze here. I simply want to apply the two-part 
formula, discussed in this chapter, to what is probably the 
most difficult and sensitive part of the Negro problem— the 
integration of Negro families into all-white neighborhoods. 
There is more white resistance to this than any other form 
of integration. Why? 

Surveys have been made in all-white neighbor- 
hoods to find out what are the real reasons for the white 
families' rejection of Negro families as neighbors. Know 



76 



what the real reasons are? You have just read about them 
in this chapter! 

White families are afraid that Negro families 
will not ADJUST, ADAPT and CONFORM to the white 
families' standards of morality, cleanliness and maintenance 
of property values. The white families interviewed em- 
phasized time and again that it was not the color of the 
Negroes* skin to which they objected, but they said that 
they would be afraid to go out on the street at night . . . 
they were afraid that the Negroes would not "keep up" 
their property and cause the neighborhood to become "run 
down/' They felt sure, almost without exception, that 
property values would decrease. I won't continue the list 
of anticipated fears and grievances— but I assure you that 
every one reflected the white f amilies' firm belief that the 
Negro families moving into their neighborhood would 
(1) NOT ADJUST, NOT ADAPT and NOT CONFORM 
to the present all-white neighborhood standards; they felt 
that the Negro families would not "fit in" and (2) that the 
Negro families would NOT IMPROVE the neighborhood, 
once they moved in. 

That is the real problem and until white f amilies 
feel sure that those conditions will not take place— all the 
civil rights laws, Negro demonstrations, protest marches 
and riots will only aggravate the problem, not solve it. 

Until men and women of good will— Negro 
and white— work together to solve that problem with the 
proven principles set forth in this chapter, little progress 
will be made. Being a good neighbor, maintaining and 



77 



improving the neighborhood, obviously has no connection 
with the color of one's skin. 

The neighborhoods in which most Negroes un- 
fortunately have been compelled to live have created an 
unfavorable image, which is not justified. This unfavorable 
image cannot be improved by Negro activities which arouse 
white antagonism and hostility. On the contrary, what is 
needed is a persistent effort to obtain justice with good 
will, and to provide Negroes with living conditions which 
offer them an equal opportunity to conform to the highest 
neighborhood expectations of white communities. Wher- 
ever this has been done, the Negroes have demonstrated 
their ability to achieve acceptance, not by demanding it, 
but by deserving it— which is the only way acceptance can 
be achieved. The emphasis must be placed— not on mere 
permission, obtained by legal or other means— but on 
deserved acceptance as a good neighbor. 

The principles which originated with the be- 
ginning of life on this earth and which are just as valid 
today, surely are worthy of your most thoughtful con- 
sideration. Have you tried applying them to the various 
phases of your own life? 

Do you ADAPT, ADJUST, CONFORM to 
the highest expectations of all the other people in your 
life? Having done this, do you then CONSTANTLY 
IMPROVE? 

Do you? 



78 



Chapter 17 



"This, Too, Shall Pass" 



Long ago, William Cowper wrote: "The dark- 
est day, lived till tomorrow, will have passed away." 

It has always been, and always will be, so. 

Each of our lives will have dark days. And 
each dark day will pass. Life, in the wake of its insistent 
imposition of tragedy, recants to soothe the hurt with gentle 
kindness— another day. And we should let it. 

Let our dark days pass and be submerged in 
the acceptance which heals our wounds with gradual for- 
getfulness. Do not renew the darkness again and again on 
successive tomorrows but "let the dead past bury its dead". 

Nothing worldly lasts forever. Most troubles, 
unless renewed, last but for a little while. You can face 
worry, grief, fear and hardship knowing that: "these, too, 
shall pass away". So when confronted with the inevitable, 
be willing to have it so. There is nothing you can do about 
it anyway. So do not cling to it overlong. Avoid the futility 
of scrubbing the deck of a sinking ship; if it must sink, it 



79 



will. You need, instead, to seek another passage. 

The door to the future awaits you. Do not 
linger behind, looking at a door from the past which has 
just closed. It is a law of life that when one door closes, 
another opens. We spend too much time looking with regret 
at the closed door when we should seek the open door 
and move on. 

There is much inner strength in knowing that 
the darkest day will surely pass. And there is strength, too, 
in knowing that you never are given a burden which you 
are unable to bear. It is only when you cling to old burdens, 
so that you still carry the weight of yesterdays when you 
add the burdens of each new day, th^t you falter and break. 

Sufficient unto each day are the burdens there- 
of. And sufficient is your strength for each day's burdens. 
As Dorothy Dix wrote: "I stood yesterday; I can stand 
today; I will not permit myself to think about what might 
happen tomorrow/' 

But what about tomorrow, when today's dark 
hours have passed? Of only one thing you can be sure. 
Tomorrow will be different— because the only certainty in 
life is change. You cannot control what changes tomorrow 
will make, but you can influence these changes in your life 
—for better or for worse— by your attitude toward each 
event and what you do about it. You have a choice, in 
attitude and action, so that when life gently closes its door 
on a dark day, you can seek and find a door, newly opened, 
through which you can walk . . . courageously . . . expec- 
tantly . . . into a brighter tomorrow. 



Chapter 18 



Forget It! 



So some little incident, some little annoying 
harrassment, irritates you? Forget it! Forget it now! At 
once! Give it no further thought. 

It will be obliterated by the profusion of events 
which will, in turn, occupy your attention next week, next 
month, next year. So you will forget it anyway, sooner or 
later. Why not now? Why make yourself unhappy for even 
one precious minute of your life by harboring resentment, 
anger, irritation, annoyance at some minor incident which 
you are going to forget sometime, anyway? 

Your mind, as a kind of self-defense, will evade 
unpleasant, irritating thoughts and tend to turn to more 
pleasant areas of interest. So, sooner or later ( and probably 
sooner) you are going to forget the minor annoyances of 
today. So why let them interfere with your happiness now? 
Why let yourself get emotionally stirred up by some insig- 
nificant happening which you won't even remember a week 
from now, a month from now or a year from now? 



81 



How quick and complete a forgetter you are, 
will have a considerable effect on your own personal happi- 
ness and the happiness of others involved, as you go 
through life. So here are a few helpful suggestions: 

(1) Whenever you are the victim of some 
petty annoyance or irritation, ignore it and forget it at once. 
You are going to forget it anyway, sooner or later. Forget 
it now! Don't let some thing you are going to forget at 
some later time give you a week's, a day's, or even an 
hour's unhappiness. Forget it now! How? Here's how: 

( 2 ) Your mind instinctively wants to spare you 
unpleasantness— so help it by . . . 

(3) Ignoring the annoyance and occupying 
your thoughts and activities with other projects as far 
different and as far removed from the annoyance as pos- 
sible. 

(4) Don't escalate the irritation, don't rub salt 
in a raw emotional wound, don't argue, don't respond 
irritably— in fact, just don't respond at all. Let the source 
of annoyance draw an emotional blank. 

Life's little irritations and annoyances can add 
up to a large amount of unhappiness— yes, and high blood 
pressure, ulcers and all sorts of emotional disturbances— if 
you hold on to them until they pile up into a sizable burden. 

So, get rid of them as they come— by being too 
thick-skinned to be bothered by little emotional mosquito 
bites, by ignoring or forgetting at once all minor annoy- 
ances as they come. 

Don't wait for time and a cooperative or poor 
memory to heal your little wound. Don't suffer at all! 
Forget it NOW! 



82 



Chapter 19 



Push Your Wheelbarrow Upside 
Down 



A visitor to a mental hospital saw an inmate 
pushing a wheelbarrow upside down. When he asked the 
inmate why, the inmate replied, "You don't think Im crazy, 
do you? I pushed this wheelbarrow right side up yesterday 
and they kept filling it with gravel." 

On the basis of his reply, I think the inmate 
should be released and a lot of us put in his place. 

Too many people, with the best of intentions, 
go around pushing their wheelbarrows right side up and 
permit almost anybody and everybody to dump their un- 
wanted odd jobs, problems, worries and grievances into 
them. So they end up pushing the burdens of everybody 
else's gravel. 

As you push your wheelbarrow through life, 
you 11 find many people who will gladly put their burdens 
in your wheelbarrow. I suggest you push your wheelbarrow 



83 



upside down. Be like the man who wrote God a letter 
and resigned as Manager of the Universe. Or as janitor! 
He really didn't have to resign because he never 
was appointed. Nor was I! Nor were you! 

He took the vast problems of humanity and 
heaped them in his wheelbarrow. Then he pushed his 
burden around with him wherever he went. He was un- 
qualified, incapable and in no position whatever to solve 
these vast problems. ( Nor am I. Nor are you! ) 

And when other people saw that here was a 
man going around collecting problems, they added their 
problems to his load. And he added quite a few of his own. 
Eventually his burden grew too heavy to bear. Both he 
and his wheelbarrow were about to break down, when he 
finally showed at least as much sense as the patient in the 
mental institution— he turned his wheelbarrow upside 
down! And he got instant relief from the useless pressure 
and worry of burdens which were not even his! 

This is not a plea for indifference to the prob- 
lems of others if your personal involvement can help. This 
is a plea for selectivity. You cannot solve all the world's 
problems, so why worry about them? Nobody elected me 
President of the United States, yet too often I find that I 
have assumed the burdens of the Presidency. I worry 
about what the President should do about this and what 
about that. Why? Why should I assume the worries and 
burdens of a job I don't want, wouldn't have, and couldn't 
get? Yet I worry as much about what the President ought 
to do as he does. So I'm turning my wheelbarrow upside 
down. 



84 



I read the daily papers as though they were 
directives from on High. I am gravely concerned about 
dozens of situations, and diligently try to decide what 
should be done about them. Yet none of these situations 
affects me. Most of them are in remote parts of the world— 
where I never have been and never expect to go. But I am 
solving their problems, although nobody has ever, in my 
whole life, asked me what my solutions would be! So f m 
turning my wheelbarrow upside down. 

I have been asked to serve as chairman of 
various charity campaigns. I may have qualifications along 
that line, but I have a neighbor across the street who is a 
real expert in that field. He was a major executive of a large 
corporation and devoted his spare time and great talent to 
charity fund drives, which he conducted with sensational 
success. Then he retired to devote his full time to charity. 
So if I am asked to lead a charity campaign, I shall properly 
put the job in his wheelbarrow, which is suitably built for 
just such a load. 

This is not indifference on my part— but selec- 
tivity. Mrs. Kopmeyer and I have established the M. R. 
Kopmeyer Foundation, into which a substantial part of 
our estate subsequently will be channelled. It is a perpetual 
trust fund, the income of which will be devoted to the 
care and cure of crippled children for generation after 
generation. This is what we have selected to put in our 
wheelbarrow. 

The point is: to be effective, you must be selec- 
tive in choosing the responsibilities you will accept. If you 
push your wheelbarrow through life right side up, people 



will throw their problems, worries, unwanted tasks and 
responsibilities into it until you find yourself overburdened 
to the breaking point. And if, in addition, you, yourself, 
add world, national and general problems which are not 
your specific responsibility to solve, you surely will break 
under the load. 

So push your wheelbarrow upside down until 
you select what you want its contents to be. Then your 
load, no matter how heavy, will seem light and will be a 
joy instead of a burden. 

And you will have found a better, a happier, 
way of life. 



86 



Chapter 20 



Those Big Signs All Of Us Wear 



Psychologists try, somewhat vainly, to teach us 
that ALL of us wear big, invisible signs across our chests, 
reading: 

"I want to be IMPORTANT." 
"I want to be ADMIRED." 
"I want to be APPRECIATED/' 
These big, invisible signs which all of us wear 
cannot be seen by your eyesight, but can be clearly read 
and understood by your insight. These signs serve two 
valuable purposes: 

( 1 ) They are WARNING signs, and 

( 2 ) They are DIRECTION signs. 

Let us first consider how imperative is their 
warning: 

When a person warns you that he wants to be 
important, to be admired, to be appreciated (as every 



87 



person clearly does), you disregard his warning at great 
cost because you insure the inevitability of losing his 
friendship and the probability of incurring his enmity. It is 
incredible that we would disregard this infallible warning 
and ever do, say or write anything which would, even by 
implication, depreciate any of the three vital desires (and 
needs) which are at the sensitive center of every other 
individual's personality. 

Yet, we do this constantly— and we will never 
know the cumulative cost to our own interests, desires 
and objectives, of our usually thoughtless disregard of 
this warning. I can only assure you that your loss is so 
great as to be incalculable when you disregard the warning 
clearly stated on the big, invisible signs which everybody 
always wears across his chest, warning: 

"I want to be IMPORTANT." 

"I want to be ADMIRED." 

"I want to be APPRECIATED." 

Be sure to visualize those signs every time you 
come face to face with every person— or write or phone 
him. They are the necessary basis for your dealings with 
all people ... at all times ... in all matters . . . under 
all circumstances! They are the very essence of success, 
itself! 

And so, in addition to being warning signs 
which warn you where not to trespass, they are direction 
signs which clearly point the way in all your relations 
with others. 

The sure path to success is to give others what 
they want or help them get it. 



88 



Since a person wants to be IMPORTANT (and 
everyone does), tell him he is important, treat him as an 
important person and, in every possible way, become an 
asset to his importance and an assurance that his impor- 
tance will not be diminished. 

Since a person wants to be ADMIRED (and 
everyone does), tell him that you admire him, tell others 
that you admire him, and show your admiration for him 
as a person, for his achievements, his family, his posses- 
sions. Do all these things tactfully, even subtly— because 
nothing is more offensive than insincere flattery of an- 
other for your own direct or indirect gain. So be sure that 
your admiration is genuine and sincere. You can do this 
by diligently seeking those attributes and possessions you 
sincerely can admire. You'll be surprised (and, I hope, 
pleased) at all the admirable qualities, accomplishments, 
relations and possessions other people have— if you just 
make a sincere effort to look for them! And, you'll find 
the effort well worth while. 

Since a person wants to be APPRECIATED 
(and everyone does), show your appreciation in every 
possible way. Unlike admiration, which might be suspect 
of insincerity if not tactfully done, there is hardly any way 
in which you are likely to overdo appreciation. In fact, 
appreciation is almost always too little and too late— and 
given with too little imagination! 

To fully express appreciation in the usual ways 
will earn you a degree of distinction because appreciation 
is seldom fully expressed, if at all. But to use a little 
imagination, to go to a little extra trouble and expense in 



order to more deeply express your appreciation will mark 
you as a person for whom it is especially pleasant to do 
favors. 

The methods by which you can imaginatively 
express appreciation are so varied and unlimited, I shall 
leave them to your own invention— and only suggest a few: 

(a) Instead of just a "thank you" note, send 
a telegram. It's quick and easy to dictate a telegraphic 
"night letter" over the phone to a Western Union operator. 
And "night letter" telegrams are very inexpensive. But 
such a "thank you" telegram will surprise, please and 
impress the recipient. (Be sure it is marked: "Deliver— 
do not phone," because a delivered telegram is more im- 
pressive. ) 

(b) If you have informally expressed your 
appreciation by phone, then promptly confirm it by regis- 
tered mail, starting your letter with tongue-in-cheek for- 
mality such as: "Confirming my telephone conversation of 
this morning, I want to make it a matter of written record; 
therefore I say . . . 'Gee, thanks!!!'" 

(c) Just the right little "thank-you" gift with 
an accompanying note is evidence that you are thoughtful 
as well as grateful— if the gift is appropriate, unusual and 
inexpensive. An expensive gift gives the impression that 
you are trying to "pay off" the obligation, instead of sin- 
cerely expressing appreciation for a favor. 

Those are just a few ideas I know will work. 
You can take it from there. 



More important: remember that ALL of the 
people you deal with have big, invisible signs across their 
chests, which warn and direct: 

"I want to be IMPORTANT." 

"I want to be ADMIRED." 

"I want to be APPRECIATED." 

Heed the warnings and follow the directions 
of those signs— and you will be amazed at the immediacy 
and extent of your personal success! 



91 



Chapter 21 



Count Your Blessings 



Schopenhauer, the philosopher of gloom and 
doom, did give us the basis for at least one happiness- 
producing technique when he said, "We seldom think of 
what we have, but always of what we lack." 

Thank you, sir; we'll take it from there! 

The easiest way to be unhappy is to spend a 
lifetime ... or a day ... or an hour ... or even a minute 
. . . regretting what we do not have. 

This is the quickest way to be unhappy, be- 
cause it is always available and the material is abundant. 
Each of us, no matter how fortunate, can think of an 
unlimited number of things we would like to have, but 
have not. 

So, if we choose, we can spend a lifetime suffer- 
ing the bitterness of regret. Or a lesser time— since the 
choice is ours. 

But who wants to? Do you? If so, rush to your 
nearest psychiatrist! Or thoughtfuly read the rest of this 
brief chapter. 



92 



Thinking regretfully about the things you do 
not have, not only is the easiest way to be unhappy, but 
also is the one cause of unhappiness which is most easily 
cured. So, since most of us have this unhappy habit to 
some extent, let's get on with the easy cure. 

Limit your wants. Cut down your wants to the 
barest essentials. Be acutely conscious that you do not 
really need, you do not really want, but a very few abso- 
lutely essential things— which you already have or can 
readily obtain. Eddie Rickenbacker with his companions 
drifted in life rafts, hopelessly lost in the Pacific Ocean for 
21 days. When asked what was the biggest lesson he 
learned from this ordeal of terrible suffering, he said: "If 
you have all the fresh water you want to drink and all the 
food you want to eat, you ought never complain about 
anything/* 

Does this mean you have to be satisfied with 
a life consisting only of fresh water and enough food? Cer- 
tainly not. But it does suggest that you can avoid unhap- 
piness and attain happiness by confining what will make 
you contented and happy to the fewest possible necessary 
things— then everything else desirable which you obtain 
will add to your happiness. It's just as simple as that. 

Thus you can go through life adding something 
—perhaps a lot of things— to your happiness every day. 
Every good thing you do or get— no matter how little— will 
add to your happiness. You will be increasingly happy, 
because you not only will possess what you have decided 
you really need, but you will have a happiness bonus in all 
the additional good things you acquire as you daily try to 



93 



improve— without the unhappy pressure of urgent need. 

Then imprint your happiness for the abundance 
of your blessings visibly upon your personality by being 
grateful. Count your blessings— not your unfilled wants. 
Count your blessings with such mental and emotional 
emphasis that your personality becomes radiant with the 
sheer joy of being alive! 

Count your blessings because psychologists 
consider this to be the easiest and most effective of all 
mental, emotional and physical therapies. 

Count your blessings, not just before you go 
to sleep at night and as soon as you awake in the morning, 
but during the many brief intervals of each day's living. 

Count your blessings. Be deeply grateful for 
them. Be radiantly joyful because of them. 

Count your blessings— gratefully— for they are 
the divine gifts of Life to YOU. 



94 



Chapter 22 



The Epidemic Of Hate 



It is an inspiration to see a community— and 
sometimes an entire nation— unite to ward off or to alleviate 
an epidemic disease. The mobilization of all necessary 
resources is effected with urgency and total disregard of 
cost. There is an all-pervading selfless sacrifice. 

Recently, in Britain, because of an epidemic 
of hoof-and-mouth disease, 450,000 fine cattle were de- 
stroyed by their owners. Entire herds representing almost 
the total assets of thousands of cattlemen were slaughtered 
and destroyed at a total loss. 

Everywhere, throughout the "World, epidemics 
ranging from malaria or typhoid to measles or mumps are 
put down with organized urgency. Cost is no considera- 
tion. Sacrifices are routine and universal. Massive assistance 
pours in from surrounding, and even distant, communities. 
If the epidemic is of sufficient magnitude, other nations, 
including so-called unfriendly ones, send aid. 



95 



But all this urgency, this sympathetic assist- 
ance, this total disregard of cost, seems to apply only to 
epidemics of physical disease. 

What about epidemics of mental-emotional- 
spiritual disease? 

This nation— and the entire world— is engulfed 
in an epidemic of hate. If we knew as much about mental 
health as we know about physical health, we would con- 
sider an epidemic of hate to be as dangerous as an epidemic 
of malaria or typhoid. 

First, let us be sure we are not setting up a 
straw man with which to joust. Is there really an epidemic 
of hate abroad in the world? 

The evidence is conclusive. The supporting 
facts are clear— and everywhere. We are not approaching 
a crisis— we are in the midst of one. An epidemic of hate! 

Hate is not a physical disease. It is a mental- 
emotional-spiritual disease and must be treated as such. 
The physical damage is the result, not the disease, itself; 
yet most proposed cures would treat the physical results 
of the epidemic of hate and not its mental-emotional- 
spiritual causes. 

One of the problems is that there is not just 
one hate, but an all-pervading complex of different hates, 
interwoven in the fabric of our lives. Each hate has a 
different cause, which requires a different cure. The hate 
of one group is the exact opposite of the hate of a different 
and, perhaps, opposite group. 

And there we find a basic cause which may 
provide a partial beginning for a cure. It is in the con- 



96 



f rontation of different and opposite groups ( or individuals ) . 
Hate is spawned in the very fact of their being different 
and opposite. There is a natural predisposition for this to 
occur, and knowing this fact leads toward partial solutions 
of the problem. 

There are three obvious solutions to the hate 
which results because individuals, groups or nations are 
different and, to a substantial degree, opposite: 

(1) Know that being different and opposite 
does not always, and need not ever, cause hate. 

(2) Seek, recognize and emphasize similar- 
ities. 

(3) Tolerate differences. 

Those three actions would at least provide a 
beginning toward de-escalating the epidemic of hate which 
now so completely engulfs us. 

But it would be only a beginning. There are 
so many hates, for so many reasons, among so many indi- 
viduals, groups and nations, that this brief chapter can only 
point out the existence of their epidemic proportions and 
the seriousness of the result. Since it is the purpose of this 
book only to provide the subject matter for stimulated 
thought and to encourage each reader to pursue such 
thoughts to his own conclusions, it is proper to leave this 
problem with you for you to think about and to act upon 
to the extent you choose. And so I turn it over to you— 
with this final suggestion: 

An epidemic of hate cannot exist in an atmos- 
phere of good will. Perhaps our first task must be the 
creation— somehow— or a deep, sincere, all-pervading at- 



97 



mosphere of good will among all individuals, groups and 
nations. 

You will recall hearing that this thought was 
expressed before— some 2,000 years ago. It promised then, 
as it does now, that when there is good will among men, 
we shall have peace on earth. 



98 



Chapter 23 



The Gentle Art Of Letting Alone 



Having retired at the rather early age of fifty 
so that I could devote my full time to helping others, I have 
undertaken numerous projects, which it is not the purpose 
of this book to describe— except one, which follows. 

I have been interested in exploring the ques- 
tion of why people— almost all of us— get involved in so 
much unpleasantness, so many problems, so much trouble. 
It seems to be a natural human failing. 

I started by analyzing, insofar as I could re- 
member, my own past propensity for becoming involved 
in unpleasantness, problems and all sorts of difficulties, 
small, medium and large. To my own half -century of trou- 
ble-involvement, I added that of many other people whom 
I have known or read about. So my "sample", as researchers 
would call it, was quite large and adequately diversified— 
at least sufficient to provide some helpful conclusions which 
I now would like to share with you. 



99 



First, let us concede that there are a number 
of dedicated trouble-makers among us who for various psy- 
chological reasons, are impelled to cause trouble. Later, 
in this chapter, we shall discuss how to deal with them. 

But it is the inadvertent trouble-involvement 
of the rest of us which we principally want to consider 
now. 

After considerable study of this strange phe- 
nomenon, it turns out that, in most cases— all avoidable— 
we, ourselves, are the culprits! We unintentionally and 
inadvertently do, say or write things which are the sub- 
sequent causes of our own troubles. Or we unnecessarily 
escalate potential trouble into real trouble. And often we 
persist in an action-reaction sequence which not only main- 
tains our trouble-involvement, but increases it. 

We haven't learned the GENTLE ART OF 
LETTING ALONE. 

In most cases— all avoidable— we initiate our 
own troubles by two actions: (1) Unnecessary involve- 
ment or, much worse, oo^r-involvement, and (2) Unneces- 
sary reaction or, much worse, ot;er-reaction. Let us briefly 
examine both of these methods by which we unnecessarily 
and inadvertently cause ourselves trouble. 

( 1 ) Unnecessary involvement or over-involve- 
ment: 

It is not necessary that we join every conflict, 
take sides in every cause (especially controversial causes) 
and thus gain an additional supply of enemies. Yes, ad- 
mittedly, we may also gain some friends, but the enemies 
made in controversy seem to remain long after the friends 



100 



we made have faded into acquaintances. Anyway, there 
are many quicker, easier, better ways to make friends. But 
there are few quicker, easier, better ways make enemies. 

We should use the GENTLE ART OF LET- 
TING ALONE. 

Over-involvement in too many causes diffuses 
our time, dissipates our energies and disorganizes our lives. 
We do not have to accept every task, shoulder every re- 
sponsibility, assume every burden which may.be offered 
us or even thrust upon us. We must do as recommended 
in Chapter 19: PUSH OUR WHEELBARROW UPSIDE 
DOWN or people will throw their burdens into it, thus 
making them our burdens. If we go about, collecting bur- 
dens at random, we shall soon break under their weight. 

Nobody made us General Manager of the Uni- 
verse and we do not have to accept the responsibilities of 
personally solving many, if any, of its vast problems. Nor 
are we required to worry about how others (who have 
been elected, selected or employed for such purpose) man- 
age situations which only remotely affect us, if at all. Cer- 
tainly, we should not plunge physically or even mentally 
into every crisis which does not involve us. There will be 
enough which do. 

We need to learn and to practice the GENTLE 
ART OF LETTING ALONE. 

Now, how about the other way in which we 
initiate our own troubles? 

(2) Unnecessary reaction or otter-reaction: 

Almost everybody has a built-in instinct to 
react. Human reaction is not always a cause of trouble. 



101 



It can be the cause of much happiness. Human reaction 
rims the full scale from the highest degree of ecstasy to 
the most violent degree of hatred. 

We shall confine our discussion here only to 
some of the trouble-escalating forms of reaction and over- 
reaction— especially to our responses when our feeling of 
importance (real or imagined) is demeaned or attacked. 
Our natural instinct is to react in defense of our feeling 
of importance, using such weapons as we think appro- 
priate, ranging from sarcastic, insulting, or threatening 
responses (written or oral or even implied) to physical 
attack (overt or subversive). 

Thus WE escalate trouble, and if we over- 
react, we magnify it at the same time. 

Our adversary then becomes our enemy and 
in turn, reacts or over-reacts accordingly. What started as 
a spark is fanned into a blaze which becomes a serious fire 
and finally an inferno. 

Why? 

Because WE unnecessarily reacted or, worse, 
over-reacted. 

The way to prevent escalation of trouble is 
not to escalate it yourself. Just because somebody starts the 
fire of trouble you don't have to pour gasoline on it! In fact, 
you will do better to do nothing. Then it will remain your 
adversary's fire to burn his own fingers in the tending. 

The best reaction to would-be trouble-makers 
is to completely ignore them. Nothing is more defusing to 
another's explosive temper than total indifference. As a 
response to an affront, indifference is much more effective 



102 



than indignation. It turns the quarrel off. There cannot be 
a one-person quarrel. But be sure that your indifference is 
genuine. You must really feel indifferent, both for your own 
tranquility and to be able to express your indifference with 
disarming non-response. Counting to 10 or to 10,000 while 
you are seething inwardly, will do little good. You must so 
genuinely ignore the matter that it obviously is too incon- 
sequential for you even to notice. 

Never react or over-react in anger. If you do 
not become involved, you cannot escalate a quarrel. Com- 
pletely ignore it. 

The way to avoid most troubles is to apply the 
GENTLE ART OF LETTING ALONE. 

And, specifically, which situations should you 
LET ALONE? 

Here are two of many examples. 

Use this simple test. Ask yourself these ques- 
tions: 

If you would carry out the action considered: 

(a) Would you threaten to cause LOSS? Any 
threat invites antagonistic response, but the threat of LOSS 
provokes instant hostility. People will compete for gain, 
but they will fight to avoid loss. Never do, say or write 
anything which threatens to cause loss to another. LET IT 
ALONE! 

(b) Would you belittle another's feeling of 
importance? This chapter has warned against your reacting 
offensively to such a situation, but the odds are that another 
will respond with often a surprising degree of antagonism 
to any demeaning of his precious feeling of importance. If 



10S 



you cannot add to another's feeling of importance— LET IT 
ALONE! 

These are but two of many examples of situa- 
tions to which you should apply the GENTLE ART OF 
LETTING ALONE. 

It would be constructive and rewarding for you 
to complete the list for yourself. 



104 



Chapter 24 



Save For Your Old Age! : 
MEMORIES!!! 



It is one of the first essentials of prudent self- 
management to save financially for your retirement years. 
Save money regularly. Keep it safely. 

But saving money for your old age is not 
enough. 

Save pleasant memories too! Lots of them! And 
keep them safely, because you'll need them as much as 
money— when the inevitable time comes that you cannot 
see very far forward, but can see a long way back. 

Saving pleasant memories can make all the 
difference between sunset years of happiness, and gloomy, 
saddened years of regret. 

So start your own MEMORY BANK. Keep in 
your Memory Bank all of your happy memories and make 
regular deposits of additional pleasant memories. Deli- 
berately build a big reserve of happy memories— and don't 



105 



keep a debit of unhappy memories which will cancel out 
the happy ones. 

Here's how to start and operate your own 
MEMORY BANK: 

( 1 ) Start now. Today! Don't put it off another 
day. 

(2) Keep a written record of your pleasant 
memories, supplemented by photographs, picture post 
cards, descriptive folders, menus of outstanding restaurants 
where you have dined, even match-book covers and other 
mementos. Don't depend on your memory. You'll surely 
forget dates, names, places— even entire events. And you 
will forget increasingly as you grow older, which is exactly 
when you will have the most time and the most need for 
all the happy memories you can acquire. The best way to 
keep all this miscellaneous assortment of notes, folders, 
menus, and other mementos is in a scrapbook. Not in a file. 
Files are excellent for segregating papers by dates and sub- 
jects—but the joy of a scrapbook Memory Bank is in the 
browsing and the little surprises of discovering again some 
happy event of the past which you had forgotten. 

(3) Go back over your past— now— and re- 
trieve, note down and paste in your Memory Bank scrap- 
book all the happy occasions you can remember. Don't 
delay. Your happy memories are golden. They are much 
too valuable to trust to a human mind, the capacity of 
which to recall past events fades with every passing day. 

(4) Then keep your written deposits in your 
Memory Bank up to date. Don't let them accumulate again 
until it becomes a project. Keep the feeling that making a 



106 



memory deposit in your Memory Bank is more important 
(and more lasting) than making a money deposit in your 
bank. 

(5) Make memories! This is probably the most 
important and rewarding thing you ever will do. Before 
you can deposit money in your bank, you first must make 
that money. So it is with memories. Before you can make 
a written memory deposit in your Memory Bank, you first 
must make that memory. Often memory material just hap- 
pens, but you have to be alert to remember, record and 
deposit it in your Memory Bank scrapbook— promptly. 

But it's more fun to consciously and delib- 
erately make memories that you will want to keep and 
treasure throughout the years. Here's how: 

(a) Go to interesting, unusual and memo- 
rable places. Take photographs, save picture post cards, 
folders, mementos. Put them in your Memory Bank scrap- 
book promptly. And be sure to date them. I learned that 
from actual experience. I've been to lots of interesting and 
memorable places, but because I failed to keep a record of 
dates, I can't remember when I went where! It may not 
seem important at the time, but in later years you'll find 
yourself wondering, "Now, just when was that?" 

(b) Do interesting, unusual and memorable 
things. It may seem inconvenient, foolish or foolhardy at 
the time; it may require physical or social courage— but 
if it will make a memory to keep a lifetime in your Memory 
Bank— do it! Then you can say, "The time I rode that ele- 
phant ..." or, "When I went down the rapids of Snake 
River on a rubber raft ..." or, "When I asked the Sultan 



107 



if he spoke English ..." or just, "The best steak I ever 

ate was in an out-of-the-way little restaurant in ... " or 

even, "When I wrote the Senator about that, he wrote me 
» 

(c) Meet and talk with interesting and memo- 
rable people. (Make a note of it in your Memory Bank 
scrapbook— with the date. ) It is easy to meet and talk with 
interesting and memorable people. In fact, this is the one of 
the quickest and easiest ways to make memories to put 
in your Memory Bank. 

There are so many methods of starting con- 
versations that they would fill a book. Since that isn't the 
subject or purpose of this book, there isn't space to go into 
detail, but here is just one of many easy, effective methods 
of meeting and talking with interesting and memorable 
people: Simply walk up to each of them and courteously 
say, "Mr. Blank, I understand that you are an authority 
on (name of subject). I would greatly appreciate your 
telling me if ( question that can be answered briefly) ." You 
can continue your conversation if the time and situation 
seem appropriate. Whether you have a brief or a long 
discussion, you will have accomplished your purpose, 
which is to meet and talk with an interesting, memorable 
person. You will have done that even if the other person 
discourteously (which is very unlikely) tells you to go 
jump in the lake! What an amusing item for your Memory 
Bank! 

( d) If you can't meet and talk with interesting 
and memorable people, write to them. Be sure to write 
personal complimentary letters which require a (preferably 



108 



brief) reply. Just writing letters of commendation in the 
hope that you will receive a courteous acknowledgment, 
will produce too meager material for your Memory Bank. 
Always write for a reply which will give you information 
or an opinion. Then you'll have, not only an interesting 
Memory Bank deposit, but useful conversational material. 
Important people are accustomed to, and staffed for, an- 
swering mail, so you 11 almost certainly get an answer to a 
properly written question. Here's a simple outline to fol- 
low: 

Start with a sincere and deserved compliment. 
Ask an intelligent, thought-provoking question on a subject 
upon which the person you write is a known ( or presumed ) 
authority. Be sure your question can be answered briefly 
and does not require time-consuming research. Have a 
good reason for needing the answer and state your reason 
briefly. Express gratitude in advance. Do not give the im- 
pression that you intend this to be the beginning of a con- 
tinuing, extended exchange of correspondence. Busy people 
do not want to become involved with perennial letter- 
writers. 

Memory Banks are much too personal and 
private for public exposure, except to provide interesting 
bits of conversation on occasion. By their very nature they 
contain too much ego-involvement and I shall not bore 
you by turning this chapter into an autobiography under 
the pretext of furnishing an example. 

In return for such considerations, I beg you to 
do one thing— not for me— but for yourself. Start your own 
Memory Bank now. Keep a written record of your pleasant 



109 



memories, supplemented by photographs, picture post 
cards, descriptive folders, menus of outstanding restaurants 
where you have dined, even match-book covers and other 
mementos. Keep these in a big scrapbook where you can 
browse at random, recalling the happy events of the past 
which the flight of years otherwise would have erased. 

Then consciously, deliberately, make pleasant 
memories which you can deposit frequently in your scrap- 
book Memory Bank. Go to interesting, unusual, memorable 
places. Do interesting, unusual, memorable things. Meet 
and talk with interesting and memorable people. Or write 
to them with a question on the subject on which each is 
an authority. 

By doing those things you will make many 
pleasant memories to enjoy as you travel life's way. Most 
important of all, you will store up treasures to count again 
and again during those long, vacant hours which too often 
make up our later years. Your own Memory Bank will turn 
empty old age into a full, joyous sunset of life! 



110 



Chapter 25 



How YOU Can Radiate Personal 
Magnetism Like Movie And T. V. Stars 



Except for "character" actors who specialize 
in portraying unpleasant, anti-social parts, the real stars of 
movies and television are those who radiate personal mag- 
netism. 

Since this is the secret of their attraction of 
other people, not only on stage, but in public (and in- 
timately), it is obvious that radiating personal magnetism 
is a technique which surely should be used by everyone 
who wants to be popular and successful. You can do it as 
easily and as well as any famous personality if you are 
willing to devote the next few minutes to learning how to 
do it— and then practicing in all those little wasted spaces 
in life when you wonder what there is interesting to do. 

First, it is well to know that in those fields of 
endeavor which require personal magnetism (and these 
include most situations involving being with people) the 



HI 



not-too-generally-known information on the next few pages 
may be of tremendous value. However, if you infrequently 
associate with others or if you prefer to be drab and un- 
interesting, you can skip the next few pages and miss the 
opportunity of being attractive to others regardless of your 
age or physical appearance. 

Let's read again those last few words. Being 
able to radiate personal magnetism has nothing whatever 
to do with your physical appearance or your age. There are 
a lot of charming, little old ladies with happy faces wrinkled 
with smile-lines, who radiate an exciting personal mag- 
netism which makes most swim-suit models mere walking 
statues by comparison! 

So don't count yourself out because of your age 
or personal appearance. There is nothing you can do about 
your age— but enjoy it. And there is little you can do about 
your physical appearance— except improve it from the in- 
side, which is what part of this chapter is about. So let's 
get started: 

To use the movie and T.V. star technique of 
radiating personal magnetism to attract other people re- 
quires that you do three things: 

(1) Generate an INNER "GLOW". 

(2) Radiate an OUTER "GLOW". 

(3) SMILE with your EYES! 

So . . . how do you (1) Generate an inner 
"glow"? Naturally, you cannot radiate magnetism you 
haven't got. So how do you get it? The technique of 
(1) Generating an inner "glow" (personal magnetism) is 
to consciously arouse a feeling which is a combination of 



112 



alertness, excitement, exhilaration, elation, anticipation, 
confidence and emotional power. Then be acutely aware 
of an intensification, a surging build-up of these feelings, 
while you consciously are keeping this combination of 
emotions restrained and controlled— but ready to release 
to whatever extent you will. This will produce a vibrant, 
inner tenseness which has the exciting qualities of the 
combination of feelings and emotions just described. In 
this way you generate the inner "glow" (personal mag- 
netism) which you can "project" or "radiate" to others. 

Frequently practice arousing this combination 
of feelings within you. First practice while you are alone, 
preferably in a quiet place where there will be no distrac- 
tions. Make a written list of the feelings you want to arouse. 
Write them in the following order on a small card or piece 
of paper. Then practice . . . practice . . . practice: 

Alertness . . . excitement . . . exhilaration . . . 
elation . . . anticipation . . . confidence . . . emotional power! 

Intensify each feeling— one at a time: 

First, feel ALERT! Feel a keen sense of aware- 
ness of yourself and your surroundings. Feel watchful . . . 
ready to act . . . ready to respond— instantly! 

Then feel a sense of EXCITEMENT! Come 
alive! Feel a thrill running through your nervous system! 
Breathe a little faster! 

Now, feel EXHILARATED! Give yourself an 
emotional lift! Step up your emotional charge! 

Then feel ELATED! Get that "sitting-on-top- 
of-the-world" feeling! 



113 



Next feel ANTICIPATION! Feel that "some- 
thing wonderful" is about to happen! 

Then feel CONFIDENT! Very confident! Feel 
that you are going to get what you want! You are going 
to do what you want to do! You are sure of yourself! 
Absolutely sure! 

Finally, feel a sense of EMOTIONAL POWER! 
Know that you can make others feel your emotional power! 
That you can radiate your emotional power! That your 
emotional power surrounds you like an aura! That anyone 
near you can feel it intensely! 

Practice arousing these emotional feelings with- 
in yourself. Begin by practicing them one at a time— in 
the order given. Then see how intensely you can feel each 
one. Next hold the first feeling while you add another . . . 
and another . . . and another. Finally you will be able to 
combine ALL of these feelings into one powerful feeling 
of personal magnetism! 

Now, you must learn the secret of maintaining 
and using personal magnetism! 

Having aroused the emotions just listed, you 
must make them magnetic by consciously restraining them 
and deliberately keeping them under your personal control. 
It is this conscious restraint, this deliberate control, that 
generates the intensity of feeling which produces personal 
magnetism. It is the deliberate maintaining of this inner 
tenseness which produces magnetic power. It is the con- 
scious personal control which enables you to direct this 
magnetic power— when, where, and to what extent you 
choose. 



114 



You now have learned step ( 1 ) of the personal 
magnetism secret of the movie and television stars and 
all other magnetic personalities: (1) Generate an INNER 
"GLOW". 

Now for step (2) of their secret, which is: 
(2) Radiate an OUTER "GLOW". 

Since you have learned to (1) Generate an 
inner "glow", it is quite easy to radiate it outward, to 
project it to others. You simply develop the "feeling" of 
doing so. You "feel" that you are surrounded by an aura 
of radiant personal magnetism— just as a real magnet is 
surrounded by what is known in science as a "magnetic 
field". You develop the conscious feeling that you can 
attract anything you want within your "magnetic field". 

Practice the powerful technique of projecting 
your magnetic personality to others. Practice the "feel" of 
being able to radiate your inner "glow" so that it surrounds 
you with an outer "glow" that is your own magnetic field 
which influences and attracts others. 

Once you have (1) Generated an INNER 
"GLOW", you'll find it easy to be able to project it and 
thus (2) Radiate an OUTER "GLOW". In fact, if you 
have intensely generated an inner "glow", it naturally and 
automatically will radiate as an outer "glow". 

So now we come to the third step in the three- 
part secret of personal magnetism: (3) y SMILE with your 
EYES. 

Most people think that they should smile with 
their mouths. If you try to start a smile with your mouth, 



115 



it will give you a phoney, superficial look. Try it in front 
of a mirror— and see yourself as others see you! 

A genuine, sincere smile starts from within 
you— not from a fixed position of your lips. You have to 
"feel" a smile before you can express it— and when you 
do start to express a smile, personality experts have found 
that you must start to smile with your eyes! 

Try that in front of a mirror! First sincerely, 
inwardly feel like smiling. Then smile with your eyes! 
Imagine a humorous twinkle in your eyes. Then intensify 
it until your eyes are smiling. Yes, you can actually smile 
with your eyes! You can even laugh with your eyes! This 
isn't some new and surprising discovery of mine. It has 
been taught for years by just about all "personality train- 
ers" from success counselors to dramatic schools to song 
writers. (Remember the old song, "When Irish EYES Are 
Smiling"?) 

The psychological reason for starting your 
smile, first from the inside, and then from your eyes, is 
very simple. Whenever you consciously try to express an 
emotion (unless you have had years of continuous, pro- 
fessional training as an actor or actress) you become self- 
conscious. You look positively silly trying to "emote" even 
such a simple expression as a smile with your lips. So you 
avoid that self-conscious lip expression just by not thinking 
about your lips at all. As a matter of fact, you don't think 
about any of your facial expression at all. You just "feel" 
like smiling and you start expressing that pleasant feeling 
with your eyes. 



216 



Here's what happens (and you can check this 
in your mirror): As soon as you "feel" inwardly like 
smiling and start expressing that pleasant feeling with a 
humorous twinkle in your eyes, your entire facial expres- 
sion changes— in a completely natural manner— without 
any conscious effort on your part at all! 

Your "smile lines" wrinkle automatically around 
your eyes. Your eyes, themselves, brighten and become 
more intense (and, incidentally, more interesting). Your 
lips relax and the corners of your mouth turn upward. 
Your cheeks lift, as does the entire expression of your face. 
All this happens in a matter of seconds— and without any 
self-conscious forcing on your part. You instantly have a 
natural, pleasant, radiant, good-humored expression. 

This usually is adequate, sufficient— and gen- 
erally preferable for most occasions. However, if you feel 
like it and if the situation is appropriate, just keep going 
into a big, broad, friendly smile. But once you part your 
lips and show your teeth, you've got to go all the way to a 
big, broad smile. If you open your lips to smile and only 
smile half-way, you'll have a self-conscious, simpering 
smirk. 

The safest and best rule is to sincerely inwardly 
feel like smiling . . . then start by smiling with your eyes 
. . . and let nature take it from there. 

So, if you want to radiate personal magnetism 
like movie and television stars, and like the big personality 
successes in all walks of life: 

( 1 ) Generate an INNER "GLOW" 

(2) Radiate an OUTER "GLOW" 

(3) SMILE with your EYES! 



117 



Chapter 26 



Be Your Own Ghost 



One of the best methods of self -improvement 
and disciplined effort is to become your own ghost. 

This is no hocus-pocus pseudo-psychology. This 
is one of the simplest and easiest-to-use, practical psycho- 
logical techniques for self-improvement yet developed. It 
will produce instant improvement in just about any life 
activity to which you apply it. 

So, be your own ghost. Haunt yourself into 
self -improvement. Here's how it's done: 

You just imagine— visualize— the "real you" 
stepping outside your own body and standing aside, near- 
by, watching yourself (critically) as you perform each 
daily activity. 

Visualize this technique until you get it very 
clearly fixed in your mind. You stand aside from your own 
physical body . . . detached . . . impartial . . . carefully 
watching and critically studying how well you do each 
task. 



118 



Of course, this is simply "detached, objective 
self-analysis". But you'll enjoy it more— and get better 
results— if you use your imagination to become your own 
ghost to stand outside yourself and see yourself as others 
see you. 

The whole idea is to critically watch yourself 
perform each daily task to see if you are doing it as perfectly 
as possible. 

For example, your telephone rings. You watch 
yourself— through your ghost— to see if you answer your 
phone with a cheerful "hello" or if you sound irritated at 
the interruption. Your ghost is watching to see if you 
mentally "broadcast goodwill" to the other person through- 
out the entire telephone conversation. Are you speaking 
with a smile in your voice? Do you give your caller the 
pleasant impression that his or her phone call is appreci- 
ated, and do you express your appreciation in the form 
of sincere compliments? Your ghost is watching, listening 
—critically, objectively— and will let you know how well 
you performed this simple, but important, task of making 
each telephone call an event, not an incident. 

Make a pal of your ghost. After all, your ghost 
is YOU— and if you can't have friendly relations with 
yourself, you'll never have friendly relations with anybody 
else. So ask your ghost (mentally, of course): "How did 
I do?" "How could I have done better?" "What do I need 
to learn, to practice, in order to improve my performance?" 
Talk it over (again, mentally, of course) with your ghost. 
Remember that your ghost has been watching you with 
critical detachment— from the outside, as others do. 



119 



But will not developing the feeling that your 
ghost is standing nearby, critically watching you perform 
each daily task, give you a feeling of self-consciousness? 
Frankly, yes. But it will be a beneficial self-consciousness 
—not the kind that causes embarrassment, awkwardness, 
fear, panic. 

And exactly what is "beneficial self-conscious- 
ness"? It is deliberate purpose, definite objective, con- 
trolled action. It is planned, conscious self-improvement. 
It is not aiming in the general direction of your target- 
it is consciously, deliberately, aiming directly, accurately, 
expertly at your target. 

This is the purpose of being your own ghost: 
to stand aside and watch with calm, detached objectivity, 
your own performance of your daily tasks, with direct 
aim at self -improvement. 

It is a psychological technique which is simple, 
beneficial and a lot of funl 



120 



Chapter 27 



A Wall And Two Roads 



When Robert Frost, my favorite poet, was 
asked to explain one of his poems, he replied, "What do 
you want me to do— say it over in worser English?" 

Such language! And from one of the men who 
used our language best of all. 

No, Mr. Frost, we don't want you to say it over 
in worser English. But I want to say it over. Not that 
you didn't make it clear, but because it needs repeating 
again and again. Besides, I am much more experienced 
in saying things in worser English than you were. 

Now that poem you wrote about a wall . . . 

You said, "Before I built a wall, I'd ask to know 
what I was walling in and walling out. Something there 
is that doesn't love a wall, that wants it down." 

And your neighbor replied that: "Good fences 
make good neighbors." 



121 



Tve been wondering about that. Did the Great 
Wall of China make good neighbors? Did the Maginot 
Line in France— a sort of inverted wall, built down instead 
of up— make good neighbors? Did the Berlin Wall make 
good neighbors? 

Then Tve been wondering about my own wall. 
You see, I live in Cherokee Gardens— a beautiful place 
where it would be highly improper to build a wall of brick 
or stone. So we build walls of tall, green, flowering shrubs. 
Gives us "privacy," you know. I can relax outdoors in the 
warm sun and read or write books without the distraction 
of seeing children at play or their little puppy dogs trotting 
from somewhere to nowhere, and back again. 

Of course I can hear the children's voices and 
laughter— but I never quite find out who gets to be Batman 
and who is Robin. And I cant see where Hunter (that's 
a dog) hides the bones I put outside my wall for him. 

So, Mr. Frost, I can understand why, in your 
poem, you couldn't quite agree with your neighbor who 
firmly insisted, "Good fences make good neighbors." With 
you, I wonder do they? 

Then, Mr. Frost, there is that poem you wrote 
about the "two roads" which "diverged in a yellow 
wood" . . . 

Being only "one traveler, long you stood and 
looked down each as far as you could" . . . then you took 
one— as each of us must when we are so often faced in Life 
with the choice between two roads, knowing, as you did, 
that "we shall never come back." 



122 



Yes, Mr. Frost, all of us direct our own lives by 
our choice of roads. It is a choice we frequently must make. 
And each choice is important, too, because, as you said, 
"knowing that way leads on to way . . ." our decision is 
irrevocable. 

How careful we must be in choosing our roads, 
because some day we shall look back on all those choices 
and say with you . . . 

"THAT has made ALL the difference!" 



123 



Chapter 28 



"Press On!" 



History has not yet decided in which niche to 
place the marble bust of President Calvin Coolidge. His 
life is still too close to put in proper perspective. It is as 
if history were holding his bust as a giant chessman, uncer- 
tain where to place it on the chessboard of eternity. 

And we, ourselves, haven't thought much about 
Calvin Coolidge lately, because we are still caught up in 
the excitement of the youthful enthusiasm of a John Ken- 
nedy whose ideas and ideals were cut short of the depth 
of full maturity and transferred, in a blinding flash of 
national shock, to a determined Lyndon Johnson, plodding 
doggedly toward his own place in history, to be replaced, in 
turn, by cautious, careful Richard Nixon. 

In the case of Calvin Coolidge, let us thought- 
fuly consider what he said, even as we await the final judg- 
ment of history on what he did. 

One thing we know. Calvin Coolidge thought 



124 



clearly and precisely before he spoke. And then he spoke 
with a brevity which was notable. 

As in the case of his presidential portrait. When 
it was hung, he and a companion viewed it discerningly 
and at great length, during which neither spoke a word. 
Then President Coolidge turned to his friend and quietly 
said, "I think so, too." And strode away. 

Many people do not know that the President 
who seldom spoke, made one of the wisest statements of 
all time. President Coolidge said, "Nothing in the world 
will take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing 
is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius 
will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence 
and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press 
on!' has solved and always will solve the problems of the 
human race." 

That statement, alone, should assure President 
Coolidge's place in history. It should be memorized by 
every high-school graduate as a prerequisite to graduating. 
If every high school graduate knew that "persistence and 
determination alone are omnipotent, and that the slogan 
'Press on!' has solved and always will solve the problems 
of the human race"— how simple and direct the way to 
achievement would be! 

How much better it would be to teach that 
statement of inspiration and fact by President Coolidge, 
than to teach the statement made by his famous predecessor 
that "All men are created equal", a preposterous conclu- 
sion, which, in the unlikely event you haven't found it out 
for yourself, any anthropologist will tell you just isn't so. 



125 



How much better it is to know that, while by 
natural process you haven't been created equal— you still 
can, by persistence and determination alone attain a meas- 
ure of value, and "Press on!" to become not merely equal, 
but superior! 

Little good and much harm have come from 
unfounded illusions of equality— but almost everything 
good has come from persistence and determination. 

Equality does not come by natural process, nor 
can equality result from environment, nor can equality be 
bestowed by some benevolent government. Equality must 
be earned by persistent and determined effort— by "pressing 
on" to individual achievement. 

And nobody need stop when he or she merely 
has earned equality— because simply by continuing the 
same persistence and determination, simply by "pressing 
on", superiority can be attained. 

Here in the United States, in this land of free- 
dom to achieve to the full extent of one's ability, persistence 
and determination— neither equality nor superiority is lim- 
ited by race, color or creed. Examples are everywhere! 
So let no one say that it cannot be done. Because it has 
been done! And it is being done every day! 

It is greatly to be regretted that so many people 
have been misled into devoting their energies to demanding 
equality as a right— when those same energies could have 
earned equality or superiority as an achievement. 

The way to attain that achievement is the way 
President Calvin Collidge said "has solved and always will 
solve the problems of the human race." And note that he 



126 



said "human race"— not any specific race. So, let's sit be- 
fore that quiet, thoughtful President and again listen care- 
fully as he says: 

"Nothing in the world will take the place of 
persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than 
unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; the world 
is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination 
alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press on'/ has solved 
and always will solve the problems of the human race." 

When history gets around to placing that mar- 
ble bust of Calvin Coolidge in its niche among the world's 
great, I hope it places him up among the high and mighty, 
because in his concise, terse way, he told how they became 
high and mighty— so that we, too, could become equal or 
superior. 



127 



Chapter 29 



How To Avoid Or Get Rid Of 
Resentment 



Resentment is one of the most prevalent and 
dangerous emotional ills that befalls us (or perhaps I 
should more accurately say: "that we bring upon our- 
selves"). 

Here is what the psychologists say about re- 
sentment: 

Resentment is an attempt to excuse (to others 
or to ourselves ) our own failure by attributing it to injustice 
or unfair treatment by those resented. Habitual resentment 
turns inward in the form of self-pity that becomes a chronic 
emotional agony which seeks relief in the sympathy and 
servitude of others. 

There are no more unpleasant companions than 
those whose resentment has turned to self-pity. They feel 
that others should be dedicated, no matter at what incon- 
venience, to providing them with physical, mental and, 



128 



especially emotional, well-being. They expect (and in- 
wardly demand) undying gratitude for favors, attentions 
or services, even the most insignificant, which they may 
have rendered others in the past. They feel that these 
"debts" which others "owe" them must be paid, again and 
again, in sympathy, attention and services, and their re- 
sentment spreads to include these "debtors" if such "debts" 
are not repeatedly paid and repaid. 

Thus begins one phase of resentment: self-pity, 
which is the cause of much chronic emotional agony and 
much mental absorption in negative thinking. 

But self-pity is just one of the results of resent- 
ment. There is another in which resentment begins with 
burning anger and escalates through an upward spiral to 
hatred, vengeance, and sometimes murder or insanity. Usu- 
ally resentment escalates to intense feelings of hatred, 
often to a conscious or subconscious desire for vengeance, 
sometimes fulfilled by action. 

Much too often does the resentment-hatred- 
vengeance spiral culminate in murder. While vengeance is 
not the only motive for murder (although it often is a 
principal ingredient), and while firearms are not the only 
means of murder, it is a shocking statistic that since 1900 
more than 750,000 Americans have been shot to death in 
their homes, which far exceeds all of the Americans 
killed in battle in all the wars in which the United States 
has fought. 

Even though murder and insanity are unlikely 
climaxes for the feelings of resentment which most of us 
experience all too frequently, resentment causes so much 



129 



emotional tension, irritation and often severe anguish that 
all of us should: 

( 1 ) Learn to avoid resentment. 

(2) Get rid of any and all feelings of resent- 
ment which we now have (yes, even that pet resentment 
we almost enjoy). 

It clearly is not intended that this book presume 
to be even a partial text on psychology— nor a complete 
text on any subject. It is merely a book containing, as 
its name describes: "Thoughts To Build On". Its purpose 
is to be a thought-starter, to stimulate interesting and, I 
hope, constructive thoughts, some of which you may want 
to explore further in more comprehensive texts on those 
subjects. 

So, within the limitations of the purpose of this 
book, let's think about resentment . . . how to avoid it . . . 
and how to get rid of it if it already is in your emotional 
complexes. 

Let's start by understanding exactly what re- 
sentment really is. 

Resentment is an emotional reliving of an un- 
pleasant happening of the past. Knowing what resentment 
actually is, should help us learn to avoid it, or, having 
previously failed to avoid it, learn to get rid of it. More 
precisely, resentment is our unfavorable reaction to what 
we consider to be an affront to our precious egos or an 
attack on our person, relationships or belongings. 

Since resentment is a reaction to something 
unpleasant which has happened, how do we put a block 
between the unpleasant happening and our reaction to it 



130 



in the form of resentment? In various ways, and here are 
a few: 

IGNORE it! The cultivated art of being able 
to ignore real or imagined unpleasant past happenings will 
save you much unnecessary anguish. The past is done. 
You cannot change the past no matter how many times 
you re-live it in memory. So why suffer the re-living of 
unpleasant past experiences? Since you cannot change 
them— ignore them and forget them. 

"More easily said than done", you may reply. 
And, if you are a particularly sensitive person, your excuse 
is partially true. Are your "feelings" easily hurt? Are you 
overly sensitive to what others say or do, so that you take 
offense at the least word or action which does not flatter 
your precious ego? Are you "thin-skinned" emotionally so 
that the slightest social "cut" is a deep and painful wound? 
Then here are some proven, helpful suggestions: 

GET TOUGH emotionally. Be like tough Gen- 
eral Smedley Butler, when he was commanding general of 
the U. S. Marines. "Old Hell-Devil Butler", they called 
him. And that wasn't the only name they called him, 
either! He said he had been called every unprintable name 
in the book. He had been cussed by experts. How did he 
react? Did he feel hurt? Was he offended? Did he smolder 
in resentment? Not Smedley Butler! He said, "Whenever 
I hear someone cussing me, I never bother to turn my head 
to see who's talking." 

"Yes", you say, "But General Butler was a tough 
Marine and I'm just a tender, shrinking violet." O.K., 
Violet, it's time you got over being tender— and stopped 



131 



shrinking. And you don't have to be a Marine General 
tp do it. 

You can be an elderly, quiet, courteous, dis- 
tinguished gentleman like Bernard Baruch, who calmly 
and wisely advised six Presidents. Let wise, thoughtful 
Bernard Baruch advise you, too. He said, "No man can 
humiliate or disturb me. I won't let him." That's how to 
block out resentment before it upsets you emotionally. 
Just don't let anyone humiliate or disturb you. 

Your physical body has a built-in "thermostat" 
which maintains an even body-temperature of 98.6 degrees 
no matter whether the temperature outside your body is 
below freezing or a sweltering 120 degrees. Consciously 
hold "mental pictures" before your subconscious mind, vis- 
ualizing yourself as having an "emotional thermostat" which 
maintains your emotions at a pleasant, even "emotional 
temperature" of relaxed, undisturbed serenity— no matter 
how frigid the snubs or how heated the personal attacks 
you inevitably will encounter from time to time. Just simply 
do not respond nor react to the emotional storms swirling 
about you, but be as emotionally unconcerned as "the 
ticking of a clock during a thunderstorm". 

Another way to avoid developing feelings of 
resentment is to adopt the life motto of the great French 
philosopher, Montaigne: "A man is not hurt so much by 
what happens as by his opinion of what happens." Don't 
make a mountain of resentment out of the molehill of some 
snub or irritation. Don't "bleed" emotionally from every 
insulting "cut". If somebody tries to do a "hatchet job" 
on you, don't let the hatchet make even a dent in your 
composure and disposition. 



132 



Remember, your resentment doesn't hurt the 
person against whom you harbor the resentment. It hurts 
only you. So why deliberately hurt yourself? Mentally 
punching pin-holes in some other person's picture doesn't 
hurt him or her the least bit— and, sooner or later, you will 
stick yourself. If you cant love your enemies, at least love 
yourself enough that you won't let your enemies control 
your happiness, your disposition and your health. 

So, when a resentment-situation arises— ignore 
it and forget it. Don't take yourself too seriously— and don't 
take other people and the irritating things they sometimes 
do, too seriously, either. Just think of something else. Your 
mind cannot hold two different thoughts at the same 
time, so concentrate on anything but your budding re- 
sentment. Keep busy. Lose yourself in work or active 
play. If resentment insists on intruding, just laugh in its 
face and mentally say to it, "Go away, boy, I'm busy, 
don't bother me!" Be too big to be resentful. 

Adopt the philosophy of our late President 
Dwight Eisenhower: "Never waste a minute thinking about 
anyone you don't like." 

But suppose a resentment has already taken 
root. How do you get rid of it? You will find that the 
methods of avoiding resentment described on the preced- 
ing pages will also help you get rid of established resent- 
ment. Most people accept their having some resentments 
as a natural part of life. It is only when they recognize 
resentments as persistent causes of unhappiness (and 
worse!) that they determine to rid themselves of their 
present resentments and to avoid all resentments in the 



133 



future. So re-read this chapter. It tells you what resent- 
ment really is, what unhappiness it can cause you, and how 
to avoid it. That brings you a long way toward getting rid 
of whatever resentments you now possess (or perhaps I 
should say: "now possess you"). 

But some additional methods are needed if you 
are to rid yourself of well-established, deeply-rooted re- 
sentments. 

One requirement is a sympathetic understand- 
ing of the persons you resent. Perhaps they were justified 
(or, at least, they thought so) in doing whatever it was 
which caused your resentment. I have discovered, by 
objective and thoughtful analysis, that actions by others 
which I have most deeply resented and which have caused 
me the most unhappiness— are actually RE-actions to 
something I did first which aroused their antagonism and 
thus caused them to act as they did, ultimately causing 
my own resentment. Ill bet, if you honestly and objec- 
tively analyze each of your resentments, you, too, will dis- 
cover that, in many cases, you initially started, or, at least, 
you escalated, the events which finally resulted in your 
harboring the resentments. 

In those cases, your resentments have no valid 
cause to exist and, in the light of understanding, should 
promptly vanish. Then you need to do one more thing. 
Since you caused the other person to act as he did because 
of his own resentment toward you, you need to remove his 
resentment, too. Do this by apologizing, or by directly or 
indirectly making amends, or by whatever appropriate and 
effective method is needed to remove his resentment of 



134 



you. Otherwise, if you permit his resentment to exist, he 
will continue to act toward you in a way which will continue 
to arouse your resentment. And the vicious cycle will 
resume. 

In many other cases you will find that the 
slurs, slights, rudeness or other annoyances by which people 
arouse your resentment are not intentional at all, but are 
caused by the very human trait of each of us being pre- 
occupied with our own thoughts, plans, problems and 
affairs. Others probably are not thinking about how radi- 
antly happy it would make you if they greeted you with 
extremely cordial enthusiasm. I have learned that it makes 
absolutely no difference whether I am greeted cordially, 
indifferently, or not at all. I am not running for elective 
office, nor am I in a popularity contest. And I can always 
attract others' attention by initiating the conversation or 
action myself— with the same or better results. 

So don't take yourself— or others— too seriously. 
The unhappy resentments aren't worth it! 

Objectively seek understanding of the origin of 
your resentments by looking at them in relation to the 
total personal problems, ambitions and points-of-view of 
the persons you now resent. You'll find that from their side 
they may have been justified— or thought they were— in 
doing what you resent. Then, with the addition of whatever 
^/-discipline is required, you'll find that your resentments 
will fade into the oblivion they justly deserve. 



135 



Chapter 30 



Don't Attract To You -Go To Them! 



Personal magnetism is a very desirable quality. 
There are great personal benefits to be derived from the 
ability to attract others to you. I have written a chapter 
in this book (Chapter 25) explaining how you can use 
the methods of movie and television stars to develop per- 
sonal magnetism, yourself. And I do not propose, in this 
present chapter, to retract what I said in Chapter 25 
concerning personal magnetism. 

I simply want to point out here that there is 
another way to influence people favorably— which produces 
much the same beneficial results as personal magnetism— 
but which works on an almost opposite principle. 

To be specific, using the method I now want to 
explain, you do not attract people to you— you GO TO 
THEM! 

Western Union used to feature the slogan: 
"Don't write-TELEGRAPH!" There is much merit in 



136 



that suggestion and I often have, and still do, recommend 
it. 

Then those of us who trained salesmen and 
taught management used to emphasize: "Don't write— don't 
telegraph-GO///" 

There are great advantages in the admonition 
to . . . GO!!! 

GO . . . where the business is! 

GO . . . where the money is\ 

GO . . . where the people are! 

GO . . . where the action is! 

GO . . . where the fun is! 

But this chapter isn't about that. This chapter 
will explain a simple method of getting another person to 
do what you want him to do. To do this you . . . GO! 
Here is how: 

Find out where another's attention is . . . and 
go there with your own conversation. He'll probably think 
you are the most interesting conversationalist he has ever 
met— because you are talking directly to his attention, ex- 
actly where it is focused at that very moment. 

Find out where another's interest is . . . and 
go there with your own interest, making your interest one 
with his. When you take your interest where another's 
interest is, when you pin your interests with his, you cement 
an alliance which is mutually unbreakable. 

Find out where another's beliefs are . . . and 
go there with your own beliefs. Use your beliefs to endorse, 
confirm, vindicate his beliefs. Combine your beliefs with 
his beliefs. Merge your beliefs with his beliefs and you 



137 



will together build a fortress of mutual belief and he will 
forever be your ally in defending it. 

Find out where another's desires are . . . and 
go there with the exact satisfactions to fulfill his desires, 
fully and completely. You can attain no greater influence 
than the ability and willingness to fulfill the desires of 
others . . . exactly . . . completely . . . immediately. 

It requires considerable personality training, 
ability and technique to attain the personal magnetism to 
attract others to come to you. But it requires only willing- 
ness and effort to go to them. In either case, you reach the 
same goal— the proximity which permits joining together 
for your mutual benefit. 

For you to accomplish that, by either method, 
will require the ability on your part to accurately appraise 
the attention, interests, beliefs and desires of the other 
person— and to be able and willing to accommodate your 
own attention, interests, beliefs and desires to his, so that 
you will proceed together in an unbreakable alliance to- 
ward a mutually-determined goal. 

This proven success-method requires giving 
before getting. It is based on the proven premise that it 
not only is '"better to give than to receive" but it is "neces- 
sary to give in order to receive". 

The executive who has a sign on his desk 
reading, "Be reasonable, do it my way", isn't kidding. 

The buyer who says, "These are our specifica- 
tions. Our deadline on bids is two weeks", isn't kidding, 
either. 

Neither is the personnel manager who says, 



138 



"Here are the personal qualifications which we require of 
all applicants for this particular job/' 

It used to be that the way to succeed was to 
dominate others, first to pressure, and more recently to 
influence, people to do things your way. 

Now, the way to succeed is to cooperatively 
adjust to the requirements of those upon whom your 
success depends. You adjust to the direction of their atten- 
tion . . . you adjust to the subject of their interests . . . you 
adjust to re-enforce their beliefs . . you adjust to satisfy 
their desires. 

Doesn't this make you a will-less, jellyfish of 
a creature whose only desire is to please? Not at all! It 
requires more will-power to relinquish your own demands, 
than it does to try to cram them down somebody else's 
throat— if you could. It requires more ability to smoothly 
adjust, than it does to offensively dominate— if you could. 
It requires more intelligence to cooperate than to be ob- 
structive—if you could. 

Please note that the preceding statements are 
followed by: "i/ you could". Because the fact is: YOU 
CANNOT. When you are dealing with people upon whose 
decisions your success depends: you cannot cram your 
demands down their throats, you cannot offensively domi- 
nate them, you cannot obstruct their chosen paths to their 
goals. You cannot have your way, but you must adjust to 
their way. 

That does not mean that, once you are on the 
team, once you are an insider, you cannot make construc- 
tive suggestions. In fact, you 11 be asked to— and expected 



139 



to— when you are "in \ Then, the more improvements you 
can suggest, the faster you will succeed. 

But I want to briefly review for emphasis: 

Attracting people to you is great . . . but going 
to them is faster! 

Find out where another's attention is . . . and 
go there with your conversation. Then his attention will 
turn to you. 

Find out where another's interest is . . . and 
go there with your own interest, making your interest one 
with his. When you join your interest with his, you cement 
an alliance which is mutually unbreakable. 

Find out where another's beliefs are . . . and 
go there with your own beliefs which endorse, confirm, 
vindicate and re-enforce his beliefs. He will be your con- 
stant ally in defending them. 

Find out what another's desires are . . . and 
go there with the exact satisfactions to fulfill his desires. 

You have to give before you can get . 

To be a GO-GETTER, you must first adopt as 
your life plan, the title of an excellent book . . . and be a 
GO-GIVER! 



140 



Chapter 31 



"Be Prepared" 



There is much wisdom to be found in mottoes. 
One of the wisest of all is the motto of the Boy Scouts: 
"Be Prepared". 

The admonition to "Be Prepared" applies to 
almost every facet of life, and since we cannot examine all 
in one brief chapter, I'm going to choose perhaps the most 
unpleasant— but most needed. 

Malcolm Muggeridge said, "Religion wisely as- 
sumes misfortune, and so survives, when earthly Utopian 
hopes, which must inevitably be disappointed, soon perish". 

We should not leave the assumption of mis- 
fortune entirely to religion. The acceptance of the inevit- 
ability of misfortune, as a frequent or infrequent part of 
life, should be individual and not a matter of religion only. 

So each of us should "Be Prepared" to accept 
such misfortunes as inevitably will come our way, realizing 
that life was not made for our enjoyment, but for our living. 



141 



Nor is it proper for us to complain; because, in 
complaining we would, in justice, have to define such of 
our terms as "misfortune" and "enjoyment". 

Would you describe the ultimate in inevitable 
misfortune as being death— that of a loved one, or yourself? 
Do you think of lif e as the ticking of a clock which grows 
louder with each passing day until it becomes the tolling 
of a bell? You don't have to ask for whom the bell tolls. 
You know. 

Yet, even as the ticking goes on, you must con- 
sider the words of Swift, who wrote: "It is impossible that 
anything so natural, so necessary, and so universal as death, 
should ever have been designed by Providence as an evil 
to mankind." 

The ticking reminds us, too, of the words of 
an unknown author: 

"The clock of life is wound but once, 
And no one has the power 
To tell just when the hands will stop, 
At late or early hour. 

"NOW is the only time you own 
Live, love, toil with a will; 
Place no faith in tomorrow, for 
The clock may then be still." 

You cannot control the length of your life, but 
you can control its other dimensions: its breadth, its depth, 
and its height. It is within these dimensions that you live 
your unrepeatable miracle, for that's what life is— a miracle 
. . . and unrepeatable. 



242 



Perhaps, life's being a miracle explains our 
inability to describe its terms. But even if we do not know 
what "misf ortune" is and what it is not, for chameleon-like, 
it can change from bad to good, depending on how we 
view it, we would do well to "wisely assume" and "Be 
Prepared". 

Being prepared for the inevitability of what we 
assume to be misfortune does not mean that we must dwell 
on it, be preoccupied with it, nor dread its certain coming. 
We should simply recognize the fact that: "This, too, will 
change", and be reconciled to that eventuality so that, 
should the inevitability of change lead to less favorable 
circumstances, we shall be neither overwhelmed nor even 
surprised. And being neither overwhelmed nor surprised 
by misfortune, we shall respond as we have prepared to do, 
with calm acceptance and serenity. 

Thus having prepared for the inevitability of 
such misfortunes as we shall meet along the way, we can 
continue our journey through life with poise and confi- 
dence. 

"To be forewarned is to be forearmed" is not 
just a physical thing; it is, in the context of this chapter: 
mental, emotional, and yes, especially, spiritual. To know 
in advance that "not enjoyment and not sorrow, is our des- 
tined end or way", is to "Be Prepared" with a realistic 
attitude toward life which is not based on the "utopian 
hopes", which Malcolm Muggeridge warned: "must in- 
evitably be disappointed, soon perish". 

So let us be forewarned and therefore fore- 
armed—mentally, emotionally and spiritually— to "meet 



143 



with triumph and disaster", and as Kipling advised, "treat 
those two imposters just the same". 

Yes, the graph-lines of every life move up and 
down. In realizing and accepting this, we achieve, in our 
personality, "The Vital Balance" about which psychiatrist 
Dr. Karl Menninger wrote. We can "Be Prepared" without 
being apprehensive— because it is in the serene knowledge 
of our preparedness that we lose our apprehension and 
attain that vital balance and composure to meet the inevit- 
able vicissitudes of life. 



144 



Chapter 32 



TALK! ... A Way To Success 



How you talk . . . what you say ... to whom 
you say it, and when . . . may well determine the degree 
of your success in life. 

The foregoing statement is well worth your 
study— and re-study— because it may be the most im- 
portant statement in this entire book. 

To help you learn, in necessary detail: ( 1 ) How 
to talk . . . (2) What to say . . . (3) To whom to say it 
... (4) When to say it . . . would require an entire book 
(perhaps an entire set of books), not just this one chapter. 
So, important as this is to you, we can only consider here 
a few practical suggestions and hope that you will seek 
more detailed information from more specialized books. 

Let's start with how to talk fluently— because 
that is essential. And let's start with the most horrible 
example— me. 

I'm using myself as an example for two rea- 
sons. First, as a child, I could not talk at all, at least not 



145 



without stammering so incoherently that I could not recite 
in school and had to be excused from making the then- 
required high school senior speech. The second reason for 
using myself as an example is that I know exactly what 
I did to change from not being able to talk, to being able 
to talk fluently. 

From my own experience, I learned that the 
way to learn to talk fluently is to talk. 

In the unlikely event that you must start from 
the poor beginning that I did, you need to know two 
important facts of life: (1) Do the thing and you will 
have the power ... (2) Start by doing what you can do 
easily, then progress through easy steps to doing the next 
most difficult thing. 

Since my stammering was caused by self-con- 
sciousness, and since most people are, to some extent, self- 
conscious— you may benefit by reading this brief account 
of how I cured it. 

First: "Do the thing and you will have the 
power." So I talked . . . and I talked . . .and I talked 
. . . and I talked! How? Simply by using the second pre- 
cept just described: "Start by doing what you can do 
easily, then progress through easy steps to doing the next 
most difficult thing." 

In my case, since I stammered, I started by 
"talking" silently to myself. I went through all the talking 
impulses and motions, but I deliberately did not make a 
sound. Since I was alone, I wasn't self-conscious, and since 
I made no sound, I didn't stammer. Then I whispered. 
No problem! So I whispered louder . . . and louder . . . 



146 



and louder— until I was speaking at (and above) natural 
volume. 

In easy steps, I talked to myself in the mirror, 
then to individuals, small groups, civic meetings, large 
audiences, from church pulpits and even from the same 
speakers' platform with a U. S. cabinet member and, 
finally, broadcast to the world on the "Voice of America" 
Radio Program. 

So, you can learn to talk fluently (and with 
much less difficulty than I did) just by talking. Talk to 
anybody, everybody, nearby, about something. Don't 
make a speech— just a comment. Make your comment 
casually, easily, with good humor and friendliness. 

An unsolicited comment has its own built-in 
terminal facility. If you do not ask for a reply, you may 
not get one. So if you want to extend a conversation, ask 
a question. The first step in opening a conversation with 
a stranger ( or in launching a new subject of conversation 
with anyone) is to frankly admit that you don't know 
something. Then say that you want or need to know about 
it and ask the person you are questioning if he or she can 
furnish you the information. A noted conversationalist said 
that, properly asked, there was almost no limit to the time 
and trouble another would take to further your education. 

Since the way to improve your ability to talk 
fluently, is to engage in conversations with as many differ- 
ent individuals and groups as possible, learn the art of 
asking. It is more accurate, instead of saying, "TALK 
your way to success", that we say, "ASK your way to 
success". Here's how you can do it: 



147 



(1) ASK others to give you the information 
you need to succeed. 

(2) ASK others to do what you want them to 
do to help you succeed. 

(3) ASK others to provide you with what you 
you need in order to succeed. 

There are proven psychological principles 
(which are too complex to explain in this brief chapter) 
that cause people to do what they are properly asked to 
do— if they reasonably can. Of course, everybody cannot 
or will not do everything you ask— but by the law of 
averages— enough, people will do what you properly ask, 
to make you successful. 

Also, concerning what to talk about, now would 
be a good time to re-read Chapter 20, which describes: 
"Those Big Signs All Of Us Wear Across Our Chests" . . . 
invisible signs which read, "I want to be IMPORTANT!" 
... "I want to be ADMIRED!" ... "I want to be 
APPRECIATED!" That's what to talk about: the things 
other people want to hear most— about themselves. And 
be sure to ask leading questions which encourage others 
to talk about themselves— then listen. You'll be surprised 
at how interested listening eliminates your self-conscious- 
ness, furnishes you with the best material with which to 
continue the conversation, and thus improves your own 
ability to talk your way to success. 

Well, if you are going to devote much of your 
time to listening (as you should), when can you practice 
talking fluently (as you also should)? Of course, you 
should take an active part in every conversation— brief, 



148 



but active. That's some practice, but not enough. The best 
way to learn to speak fluently is to over-do it. Since you 
can't do that with others without becoming a bore, you'll 
have to do it alone. Here's how: 

Practice talking continuously— aloud— to your- 
self. Pretend that you are a radio announcer and that you 
have to "fill" a half -hour by ad libbing ( talking spontane- 
ously) without any "silent spaces". If you are alone at 
home, start by walking from room to room describing what 
you see. Speak in normal conversational tones. Talk con- 
tinuously. Describe the furniture . . . where and when you 
got it ... if it should be replaced or repaired. Describe 
the walls, ceiling, floor, everything in the room . . . what 
you think should be improved . . . and so on and on. 
Just keep talking . . . continuously . . . fluently. 

Or, take a drive alone in your car— in the city 
or in the country. Pretend that you are a narrator, giving 
a travelogue of what you see as you drive along— and that 
you must give a continuous, interesting description of it 
in a conversational tone of voice. Describe the scenery 
. . . buildings . . . people . . . your impressions of them 
. . . and so on and on. If you drive to and from work 
alone every day, this is an excellent time to practice. To 
avoid the monotony of describing the same view every 
day, change routes frequently. Or just take a drive alone 
several or more times a week to practice talking fluently. 

If you have a friend who also wants to practice 
fluent talking, take your drives together. Alternate talking 
every ten minutes, vying to see who can give the most 
interesting and fluent performance of continuous scenic 
description. 



149 



Don't overlook the advantages of improving 
the quality of your speaking voice. Read several of the 
many excellent, self-help books on voice and speaking. 
Better still, take a speech course under a good instructor. 

Finally, it is important to whom you talk. The 
more successful people you talk to, the more successful 
you, yourself, will be. While you should, for practice, for 
good-fellowship and for good-will, talk often to those of 
lesser or equal position, be sure to progressively devote 
more and more of your time to talking with top leaders 
in your company, in your civic and business community. 

What can you talk about which will interest 
them? Remember those big, invisible signs they are wear- 
ing across their chests, reading: "I want to be IMPOR- 
TANT!" ... I want to be ADMIRED!" ... "I want to 
be APPRECIATED!" Talk to important people in those 
terms and all of them will always be interested in what 
you say. 

Offer to cooperate with important people, es- 
pecially in helping with their pet civic and charity projects. 
Your conversation— with your offer to help which it conveys 
—will always enable you to talk with ease with the most 
important people. Also it will lead to new contacts with 
other important people with whom to talk. 

Offer profitable suggestions to the top execu- 
tives of your company. But first try to be as sure as possible 
that your idea really will work. Let's face it. A top execu- 
tive with long experience knows a lot more than a younger 
employee with much less experience (if that's what you 
are). That doesn't preclude your having better and profit- 



250 



able ideas. And you should suggest new ideas frequently. 
The point I want to make is: "play it safe". Always offer 
your suggestion in the form of a question. Say, "I've been 
wondering about (suggestion). What do you think about 
it?" . . . Or, "Have we considered the possibility that 
(suggestion)?" . . . Or, "What do you think would happen 
if (suggestion)?" 

When you offer your suggestion in the form 
of an unassuming question and it is rejected, you can 
always say, "That is the conclusion I reached, too— but 
because of your greater experience, I wanted your opinion. 
Also, I thought you might be able to add some ideas that 
would make it practical." (That really gets the top execu- 
tive involved in your suggestion and that's one of the secrets 
of success: involvement with the top echelon!) However, 
if your suggestion is accepted, you made it originally and 
you will get (or can modestly take) credit for it. Thus, 
by presenting your ideas in the form of questions, you 
benefit (without risk) whether your ideas are accepted 
or not. 

Having learned that you can talk your way to 
success, and having learned some of the many ways to do 
it, it is hoped that you will continue to learn more about 
this exciting and profitable success-method from the many 
helpful sources available. 



151 



Chapter 33 



TALK! ... A Way To Health 



Probably this chapter should be more accurately 
titled: "TALK! ... A Way To Mental and Emotional 
Health." Obviously, you cannot talk your way out of 
cancer or any primarily physical disease— and those cults 
and pseudo-curative professions are doing their believers a 
fatal disservice by encouraging faith in any other than the 
best possible treatment for each disease. 

Thus having, I hope, warned against trying to 
apply a single cure to all illnesses, I want to discuss the 
amazing curative power of just talking. And, I want to 
start by explaining my use in the heading of this chapter 
of the word "health" instead of limiting it to "mental and 
emotional health". 

First, to avoid repetition, let's consider "mental" 
and "emotional" as being mutually inclusive and use the 
word "mental" for both. ( Many leading psychiatrists do. ) 

Next, let's understand that no disease is ex- 
clusively mental or physical, but a combination of varying 



152 



proportions of both. The proportions may vary greatly, 
being mostly mental or mostly physical, but almost invari- 
ably both causes exist in some proportion. 

Many people do not realize that most diseases 
have a primary mental cause, although the symptoms, and 
indeed the bodily damages, are demonstratively physical. 
These are called "psychosomatic" which the dictionary 
describes as: "bodily disorders induced by mental disturb- 
ances". It has long been known that more than half of all 
patients in doctors' offices and in hospitals are suffering 
from psychosomatic disorders (bodily illnesses, mentally 
caused). Progressively, more and more bodily disorders 
are diagnosed as being psychosomatic, even though the 
patient may not be so informed. Some extremists now 
declare that 90% of all illnesses have a primary mental 
cause. 

A patient with a broken arm certainly feels that 
his accident was a physical happening as, of course, it was. 
What he may not realize is that behind the physical event 
was a mental desire to escape the responsibility of doing 
something which for some subconscious reason he did not 
want to do. People go blind, are partially or completely 
paralyzed, develop almost every imaginable illness (al- 
though some psychosomatic disorders are much more prev- 
alent than others ) as a means of escaping some repugnant 
situation, or in order to withdraw from some undesirable 
reality of life, or even as a form of self-punishment for a 
repressed sense of guilt. 

In addition to the psychosomatic disorders 
with predominantly physical symptoms and often physical 



153 



damage there is, of course, the entire spectrum of basically 
mental illnesses, ranging from simple self-consciousness to 
violent insanity. The situation has gotten completely out 
of hand. As Time Magazine stated some time ago: "If all 
the 15,000 (psychiatrists) in the United States, plus all the 
psychiatric social workers and all the psychologists trained 
as therapists, spent all their working hours with individual 
patients, they would still only be able to treat one in ten 
of the patients who need help for emotional ills." 

I make no pretense of being qualified to pro- 
vide a solution for so momentous a problem. I do want to 
suggest a simple— and highly successful— form of therapy 
which can be used to alleviate some mental and emotional 
stresses which often escalate into more serious disorders. 

Dr. Karl Menninger, one of America's most 
famous psychiatrists, called it: "TALKING it out." More 
technically, psychiatrists call it: "Catharsis." The unpro- 
fessional simply calls it: "Getting it out of your system." 
To stay in the common vernacular, when something is 
"eating you", don't keep it to yourself— talk it out, get it 
out of your system. Don't worry and stew and fret just by 
yourself until you get "all steamed up" and then fail to 
"let off the steam"— because that's when you may "blow" 
in any one of a thousand disastrous ways! 

Dr. Karl Menninger taught (in his excellent 
book, "The Vital Balance") that mental illness is not a lot 
of different illnesses, but actually consists of increasing 
stages of a basic mental disorder. 

Certainly that is a greatly simplified and useful 
approach. It follows, since the first stage is the repression 



154 



Oi some unwanted thought or act, resulting in a build-up 
of emotional tension and continued mental stress, that this 
increasingly dangerous condition can be relieved by a 
catharsis of whatever undesirable is being repressed— by 
getting it out of your system. 

Specifically, the way to do this is to do just 
exactly what Dr. Menninger said, "TALK it out." Ever 
since Sigmund Freud developed the technique of psycho- 
analysis, the entire primary application of psychotherapy 
has been the patient's talking out his undesirable repressed 
thoughts. 

The simple suggestions made here are no sub- 
stitute for professional psychiatric treatment when a mental 
illness exists. Specifically, if whatever you are repressing 
is hidden so deep in your subconscious that it must be 
sought and exposed by psychoanalysis, you need the pro- 
fesional services of a psychiatrist. 

But, if you are fully aware of exactly what is 
bothering you and causing you emotional tension and 
mental stress, and if you want to "get it out of your system" 
—as you must— then you can do as Dr. Menninger advised 
and talk it out. 

Once having reached the decision to talk it out, 
you have only to decide to whom to talk. That is very 
important, of course, and the sources are both numerous 
and adequate. 

Naturally, the first choice is a psychiatrist, or 
a psychologist trained as a therapist. However, they not 
only are expensive, as such highly trained specialists must 
be, but their services are greatly in demand by the seriously 



155 



mentally ill. Nevertheless, because of their vast knowledge, 
training and experience, they often can cure simple mental 
stresses in a few consultations. 

Next, your regular doctor is an excellent choice. 
General M.D.'s now know a lot about psychotherapy and 
your own doctor has the added advantages of knowing a 
lot about you. Also, he will know whether you need more 
specialized assistance. 

In all large cities, social service organizations 
provide trained personnel with whom you can talk it out. 

The minister of your church has had a lot more 
experience in this field than you probably imagine. Large 
churches provide the services of a trained, full-time psycho- 
therapist. 

Your marriage partner may be an ideal person 
with whom you can talk out "what's eating you". His or 
her sympathetic understanding may be just what you need. 
I have always believed that, like charity, much psycho- 
therapy should begin at home. 

Or, talk it out with a trusted and sympathetic 
friend. But be sure to select the right person (not a gossip) 
and don't go around blabbing your intimate personal prob- 
lems to everybody who will listen! 

Whomever you talk it out with, get whatever is 
"eating you" out of your system entirely. Get rid of it! Be 
done with it! Then forget it! 

That's one way to use TALK ... as a way 
to health. 

Here's another: 

If you have a simple psychological problem 



156 



such as being self-conscious and embarrassed around peo- 
ple and therefore not being a fluent conversationalist, you 
do not have to go to a psychoanalyst to learn the hidden 
psychological cause in order to be cured. It is not necessary 
to probe back into your childhood to learn that your mother 
spanked you undeservedly for your being "forward" when 
you were a child. That knowledge, even if correct, will not 
completely cure your self-consciousness. But practicing 
conversing with everybody at every opportunity about 
even the simplest subjects will cure your self-consciousness 
and make you a fluent conversationalist— whether your 
mother spanked you or not. ( For more inf ormation on how 
to become a fluent conversationalist, re-read the previous 
Chapter 32: "TALK ... A Way To Success".) 

Participating frequently in interesting conversa- 
tions, not only is good success training, but is good health 
therapy as well. It stimulates your interest in people, in 
ideas, and in life generally. It gets you involved. You 
participate. That's the key word: PARTICIPATE! . . . 
because participation is the sure antidote for withdrawal 
—and withdrawal is a mental illness which will progressive- 
ly cause you more and more trouble, more and more unhap- 
piness. Participation also is the sure antidote for mental 
depression which is, or can rapidly become, a serious mental 
illness. 

So TALK is a means of staying healthy or 
becoming healthy. TALK, of course, will not cure every- 
thing—but it will cure many things and it will help in many 
ways to relieve the tensions and stresses of life, to help 
overcome fear, self -consciousness, withdrawal and depres- 



157 



sion. The list of the benefits of talk could go on and on— 
but I suggest you consider talk specifically in terms of any 
problem you may have. You'll be surprised how many times 
TALK will help! 



158 



Chapter 34 



LISTEN! ... A Way To Help 



There are two sides to every coin. 

In the two previous chapters, we have been 
looking at one side of a coin: "TALK". We found that you 
could talk your way to success (Chapter 32). And we 
found that, in many cases, you could talk your way to health 
(Chapter 33). 

Now let's turn the coin over and examine the 
other side: "LISTEN". One should not consider talking 
without giving equal consideration to listening. They are 
two parts of a whole. Each is useless without the other. 

Having learned the advantages of talking, let's 
discover the benefits of listening. Actually, listening is a 
way to help others. And, in helping others, you help your- 
self. 

Remember what we said in other chapters 
about those big, invisible signs everyone wears across his 
chest . . . stating "I want to be IMPORTANT!" ... "I 
want to be ADMIRED!" ... "I want to be APPRECI- 



159 



ATED!" . . . remember that we said those invisible signs 
told us clearly how the other person wanted to be treated? 
Your success, your popularity, depends upon how well you 
heed those invisible signs, upon how you help others feel 
important, admired and appreciated. 

One of the most effective ways to help others 
feel important, admired and appreciated is to listen to 
what they say with obvious admiration and appreciation, 
so that they know you consider what they say to be 
important. Thus, just by proper listening, you can use one 
of the most effective of all success-techniques: help others 
get what they want. 

Remember, too, that you do not learn by talk- 
ing—you only learn by listening. That's why you should 
listen a lot more than you talk. 

If you listen with the proper attitude and if 
you listen to the right people— you can virtually listen your 
way to success! 

But listening is more than that. Listening is a 
way to help others in other ways than to make them feel 
important, admired and appreciated, as just discussed. 
Psychiatrists agree that nobody is perfectly adjusted— 
mentally and emotionally— all of the time ( if, in fact, any 
of the time! ) . Mental disorder is merely a matter of degree, 
with most of us fortunately being in Dr. Menninger's "First 
Stage" which consists primarily of the tensions and stresses, 
the disturbed feelings, occasional anxieties and mental de- 
pressions of normal life. 

Relief from these pressures can be obtained 
principally by "talking them out" (as described in the 



160 



preceding Chapter 33: "TALK ... A Way To Health"). 
To "talk them out" a disturbed person needs a listener 
who is sympathetic, understanding and, hopefully, helpful. 

Each of us needs to talk and to listen in order 
to relieve the tensions and pressures of daily living. 

Probably the most frequent and vehement com- 
plaint of our time is that others will not listen. 

Minority groups rage and riot because author- 
ities will not listen (and therefore cannot be expected to 
respond) to their grievances and demands. 

Students stage demonstrations to try to get the 
"Establishment", first to listen to their protests and dissent, 
and then to respond to their demands for change. 

One of the principal complaints of youth is that 
their elders will not listen to their imaginative ideas. The 
elders reply that youth will not listen to the wisdom of 
more mature experience. 

Example could follow example, but the need is 
already clear: All of us must listen to each other. Only by 
listening, can we fully understand, and, only if we fully 
understand each other, can we properly respond with 
mutual respect and earnest cooperation. 



161 



Chapter 35 



When It Gets Darkest . . . 



One of the world's greatest historians, having 
devoted a lifetime to studying and recording history from 
the beginning of civilization, was asked: "What was the 
most important thing you learned in your life's study of all 
significant historical events?" 

He promptly replied, "When it gets darkest, 
the stars come out." 

I consider that to be one of the most helpful 
and inspiring statements of all time! I hope you will re- 
member it always, as I have. It will be a deep source of 
strength in your own dark hours. "When it gets darkest, 
the stars come out." 

The proof is so voluminous, it is presumptuous 
for me to even begin to list examples. Yet I cannot leave 
it here. I cannot resist citing how, in the lives of three of 
the greatest men in history, it got darker than most people 
realize— and how, by some unexplained miracle, the stars 
came out. 



162 



John Stuart Mill, who later was to become the 
great English philosopher and economist, suffered a severe 
attack of mental illness, in 1826, when he was twenty years 
old. Szasz wrote that Mill was so overwhelmed by the 
most severe mental and emotional depression that he sank 
to the very depths of despair and was "suicidal" for many 
months. This was in 1826 when methods of curing such 
serious mental illness were not yet discovered. But . . . 
when it became darkest for John Stuart Mill . . . the stars 
came out. He completely reorganized his own personality, 
rapidly developed one of the greatest and most logical of 
minds, and became one of the greatest philosophers and 
economists of his time. 

"When it gets darkest, the stars come out." 

One of the greatest thinkers of all time was 
William James, the famed philosophical psychologist of 
Harvard. He was physically frail in his youth, developed 
severe psychosomatic symptoms affecting his eyes and 
stomach by the time he was twenty-three. Two years later 
he had to drop his studies entirely and go to Europe for 
many treatments. However, his mental-emotional dis- 
orders worsened and he suffered such extreme mental de- 
pression that he often contemplated suicide. Then . . . 
when it got darkest for William James . . . the stars came 
out. He completely overcame and transcended his physical 
and mental illness to become one of the greatest thinkers in 
history, a giant in philosophy and psychology, a famed 
writer, the most distinguished teacher at Harvard, whose 
wisdom has provided guidance and inspiration for so many 
of us through the years. 



163 



"When it gets darkest, the stars come out." 

Dr. Karl Menninger, world-famous psychiatrist, 
records in his excellent book, "The Vital Balance", that 
Abraham Lincoln had, not one, but several, attacks of 
severe mental illness. Lincoln's own law partner described 
him as a "hopeless victim of melancholy" ( one of the most 
serious of mental disorders). Indeed, Lincoln's future 
wife's relatives considered him "insane" and he reinforced 
their beliefs when, on his wedding day, after all prepara- 
tions were made and the rest of the wedding party was 
waiting, he did not appear. Finally, after a search, he was 
found in his room in deep dejection, obsessed with ideas 
of unworthiness, hopelessness and guilt. 

Dale Carnegie, who spent three years doing 
research on Lincoln's life and wilting Lincoln's biography, 
wrote that Lincoln became dangerously ill in body and 
mind, and sank into a deep and terrible spell of melancholy, 
mumbling incoherent sentences and threatening suicide. 
He even wrote a poem about suicide and had it published 
in one of the Springfield papers. His friends took his knife 
away from him to keep him from killing himself. 

Yet . . . when it was darkest for Abraham 
Lincoln ... in some mysterious way (perhaps because 
there is a Purpose) . . . the stars came out. 

You can see those stars now . . . stars on a 
field of blue in the flag of the United States of America 
. . . "One nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice 
for all." 

In Springfield, Illinois, Lincoln's old home is 
preserved as a national shrine. And, because they lived 



164 



nearby, a mother with her little girl, often passed it on 
their daily walks. As they passed Lincoln's home, the 
mother told her little girl about the greatness of Lincoln's 
presidential years and how much his life bestowed upon 
this nation. 

Then, instead of passing Lincoln's home in day- 
light,, the mother and her little girl happened to pass by 
one night. As was proper for a national shrine, the lights 
were aglow in every room. The little girl cried excitedly, 
"Look, Mother, look! Mr. Lincoln left the lights on!" 

Yes, little girl, Mr. Lincoln did, indeed, leave 
the lights on! He left the lights on all over the world— to 
light our way toward freedom and equality and brother- 
hood for all men . . . everywhere! 

Lincoln's life fulfilled the promise of history— 
when it got darkest, the stars came out. 



165 



Chapter 36 



Do The Thing And You Will Have 
The Power 



Fortunately, I learned one of the most useful 
facts of life at an early age. I don't remember who said it 
and I wish I did, because I would like to send him a 
mental message of thanks every morning when I wake up. 

What I learned, as a very young man, was this: 

"DO the thing and you will have the power!" 

That one simple, yet almost incredible, state- 
ment has enabled me: (1) To try; and (2) to actually 
accomplish things— more than any other statement I have 
ever heard. 

If I had not believed, deeply believed, that just 
by the act of doing— somehow, from somewhere, I would 
be given the power to do it— I would not have attempted, 
much less accomplished, half of what I have done (the 
difficult, rewarding half). 



166 



How can this be possible, that the act of doing 
something generates the power to do it? 

One answer comes from the psychologists. The 
most conservative psychologists say that a person never 
uses more than half of his actual capability. Others say that 
we are operating only at one-tenth of our capacity. Thus, 
depending on which psychologist is right, the very least 
you can accomplish is twice as much, and it may amount 
to ten times as much. So, since everybody normally oper- 
ates at only a fraction of his potential, each of us can 
accomplish much more just by trying . . . just by doing. 

DO the thing and you will have the power! 

Henry Ford, who must have made some sort 
of record for doing things, put it simply, "Whether you 
believe you can do a thing or not— you are right." 

Perhaps that's an over-simplification of a very 
profound fact of life. Nevertheless, there is a great reservoir 
of power ready to be used by anyone who begins to do 
something. Do the thing and you will have the power. 

Maybe the ego calls on the super ego, which 
in turn draws the necessary power from an omnipotent 
ultra ego. 

Or to state it in other terms, your conscious 
mind draws upon your subconscious mind, which, properly 
used, has at its disposal the unlimited power of the univer- 
sal mind, which theologians call the God-Mind, or simply, 
God. Whatever the terminology, the fact is that there is 
an unlimited supply of power, and as you do the thing, you 
will have the power to accomplish it. 



167 



Thomas Edison believed that the power of his 
ideas came from "space". In the late years of his idea-filled 
life, Thomas Edison said, "Ideas come from space. This 
may seem astonishing and impossible to believe, but it is 
true. Ideas come from out of space." Edison should have 
known, because he had more ideas than any man who ever 
lived. 

And if ideas come from "space", there is reason 
to believe that the power you need will come from "space", 
too. Certainly, whatever power— no matter how much 
power— you need to accomplish what you determinedly 
set out to do, will be furnished you from "somewhere". We 
have not evolved sufficiently to know all the answers. As a 
philosopher said, "Man s knowledge may be compared to 
a potato bug in a sack of potatoes in the hold of a great 
ship— wondering what makes the ship go". 

But, because we do not know the source of 
our almost unlimited power for accomplishment, does not 
prevent our using the fact that such power does exist and 
is readily available for our use to achieve our goals. 

So do not hesitate to strive for your goal. Start 
now— with the sure knowledge that whatever man can con- 
ceive and believe, man can achieve. Start now— without 
hesitation or fear, because the power to do, comes with the 
doing, and as you do the thing, you will have the power! 



168 



Chapter 37 



LAUGH . . . Your Way Through Life 



You meet them everywhere— the Hypersensitive 
Ones! They find in every personal comment, a hidden 
insult ... in every helpful suggestion, a subtle criticism 
... in every conversation, a challenge to debate. 

These self-centered individuals find the most 
minor duties to be painful burdens, the imaginary weight 
of which only can be alleviated by overt recognition and 
bountiful praise. Routine activities become magnified proj- 
ects. Necessary work is a hated, disagreeable thing to be 
endured. Complex plans are overwhelming and are resisted 
with undeserved panic. 

The Hypersensitive Ones— their tender feelings 
are always being hurt and they respond with bitter sarcasm, 
unreasonable hostility or pained silence, which wins for 
them the questionable consideration and deference best 
described by that apt old-fashioned saying: "walking on 
eggs". 



169 



They are more to be pitied than condemned, 
because they suffer much more than do their understand- 
ably annoyed but nevertheless sympathetic companions. 

The Hypersensitive Ones— why must they suffer 
so much unhappiness? Let's ask a famous psychologist, Dr. 
Maxwell Maltz. 

Dr. Maltz says that the reason is self-pity. Then 
he describes their condition as follows: "The frustrated 
person compensates for self-pity by excessive smoking, 
excessive drinking, compulsive overwork (or imagined 
overwork), or withdrawal by escapism through radio, tele- 
vision or aimless reading— or turns upon other persons by 
exhibiting rudeness, irritability, nagging or fault-finding, 
stimulated by hypersensitivity." 

You will meet many such people with exactly 
those syndromes (or most of them) in business, in school, 
among your associates, almost everywhere you go. (You 
might even try checking each symptom listed by Dr. Maltz 
to see if it applies to you!) 

What do all these hypersensitive people have 
in common— EXCEPT the foregoing symptoms? 

They seldom, if ever, laugh! 

If hypersensitive people would only learn to 
laugh their way through life, they would be released from 
their self -centered unhappiness into a new, relaxed, joyful 
world of happiness and laughter. 

Of course, there are times when laughter is out 
of place. I am not suggesting that you laugh in the presence 
of someone's sadness or at any time when laughter would 



170 



be inappropriate. But you will find that such times, in- 
evitable as they are, are proportionately few. 

Nor am I suggesting that you boom through 
life with a Santa Claus "Ho! . . . Ho!! . . . Ho!!!" I am sug- 
gesting quiet laughter. Take an amused attitude toward 
yourself, your problems and difficulties, the situations and 
people causing them, and, especially, life itself. Laugh! 
And, if it is inappropriate to laugh heartily and openly- 
then laugh quietly . . . but laughl It is the relaxed attitude 
of laughter— not the amount of noise you make— that deter- 
mines your response toward your daily experiences. 

What is quiet laughter? How can you do it? 
In two ways: First, do as recommended in Chapter 25: 
smile with your eyes. Then, say quietly to yourself, "Ha! 
. . . Ha!! . . . Ha!!!" Sound silly? Well, it isn't silly. It will 
mean making laughter, quiet laughter; or, when appropriate 
rousing laughter, a relaxing and joyful substitute for a 
tension-filled, hypersensitive, self -centered, unhappy life! 

Remember, you can't be hypersensitive, self- 
centered and engulfed in self-pity while you laugh at your- 
self! So don't take yourself so seriously. There are so many 
things over which you must either cry or curse or laugh. 
Choose to laugh! Laughter is your declaration of superiority 
over whatever befalls you! 

Against the assault of laughter, nothing can 
stand. Neither fear, nor worry, nor gloom, nor depression, 
nor resentment, nor hate, nor self-consciousness, nor hyper- 
sensitivity, nor self-pity can co-exist with laughter. 

"He who has the courage to laugh, is master 
of the world nearly as much as he who is prepared to die." 



171 



Do you have an enemy? Then, if you have the 
courage (and the ability to defend yourself), laugh at him! 
There is nothing which so completely demoralizes an ad- 
versary more than being laughed at. 

The only way to accept an insult is to laugh 
at it. ( If you can't laugh at it, it probably is deserved. ) 

You can see from the foregoing that laughter 
is a weapon. A sure effective weapon. So never use the 
weapon of laughter by laughing at a friend. Only laugh 
with others, to join with them, to add your laughter to 
theirs. Only laugh at your enemies (knowing that they will 
then remain your enemies). 

But mostly use your weapon of laughter to 
demolish your own undesirable personality traits: fear, 
anxiety, gloom, self-pity, resentment, hypersensitivity and 
all the raggle-taggle mob of disagreeable thoughts waiting 
to move into your mind the first time there is a vacancy. So 
keep those mental vacancies filled with laughter. When- 
ever your mind is not occupied with happy, positive, crea- 
tive thoughts, fill it with quiet laughter— smile with your 
eyes (and with your entire face, when appropriate) and 
say over and over again quietly to yourself . . . "Ha! . . . 
Ha!! . . . Ha!!!" You (and everybody you know) will be 
amazed— and delighted— at the magic transformation of 
your personality when you begin to live with laughter! 

It won't be magic, really. It will be simply that 
you have learned to use the delightfully devastating power 
of laughter so that you no longer take yourself too seriously. 



172 



Chapter 38 



It's Right To Do It Wrong! 



Psychologists have discovered an amazingly 
successful technique for eliminating undesirable habits— 
perhaps not all undesirable habits but, certainly, many of 
them. 

We humans are largely creatures of habits, 
mostly desirable and, indeed, necessary habits. If we had 
to think consciously about everything we do, we would 
surely go mad. In fact, the more routine activities which 
we can assign to habit, the more we can free our time for 
conscious thought and action. A desirable or necessary 
habit, unconsciously and perfectly performed, is much 
better than a consciously directed action. 

So most habits are desirable and we should 
try to shift more and more activities to our habit me- 
chanism. 

But some habits are undesirable, some are 
harmful, and some are extremely dangerous. Obviously 
these habits should be eliminated. Ridding yourself of 



173 



bad habits is often exceedingly difficult. As the old Spanish 
proverb says, "Habits begin as cobwebs and end as cables/' 
When they get to the "cable" stage, habits are not easily 
broken. 

Because of the importance of habits— their for- 
mation, durability and elimination— psychologists have 
devoted much study and many experiments to them. It has 
been discovered that one of the easiest, surest and best 
methods of eliminating a bad habit is what is called: 
"Negative Practice." 

"Negative Practice" has become such a valu- 
able technique in personality improvement that it deserves 
a place in this book, and we shall devote the next few 
minutes to a brief study of it. 

Since we are going to apply the technique of 
"Negative Practice" to the elimination of bad habits, let's 
see how bad habits get formed in the first place. 

( 1 ) A habit starts by being a conscious activ- 
ity. You are fully aware that you are doing what you are 
doing, and whether you do it or not is a matter of your 
conscious control. 

(2) Then, by repetition, the habit activity is 
directed less and less by your conscious, deliberate control 
and more and more, it is assigned to your unconscious ( or 
subconscious ) direction. 

(3) Finally, you have no conscious control of 
the habit at all. It becomes a sort of conditioned reflex. 
When certain conditions exist, the now-unconscious habit 
is activated. The habit-action takes place whether you will 
it or not. In fact, the more will power you attempt to use 



174 



to stop it, the stronger you make the habit-impulse. 

So how do you eliminate a bad habit? There 
really are many ways, but here we shall examine only one: 
"Negative Practice." Here's how to do it. 

We have just outlined how a habit is formed. 
We stated that a habit starts as a conscious, deliberate 
activity and becomes, through repetition, an unconscious, 
impulsive response which is so ingrained that you cannot 
control it by conscious will power. 

You eliminate the habit simply by reversing the 
process by which it was formed. 

Specifically, you change it back from being an 
impulsive, unconscious, uncontrollable activity to a con- 
scious, deliberate action which you can control and there- 
fore eliminate at will. 

This reversing, procedure is accomplished by 
"Negative Practice". This means that you deliberately 
and consciously do— and do excessively— exactly what you 
want to eliminate doing habitually (impulsively, uncon- 
trollably and unconsciously). When you consciously, de- 
liberately and excessively repeat a habitual activity, you 
obviously are consciously and deliberately doing and con- 
trolling the action. That, of course, is exactly what you 
want, because then, since it is under your conscious control, 
you simply decide not to do it any more. And you dont. 

If the habit does persist, you have not subjected 
it to enough "Negative Practice" to gain complete conscious 
control of it and so it is not subject to your will not to do 
it. So continue your "Negative Practice", remembering to 
do it consciously, deliberately, and excessively. Then apply 



175 



even more resolutely your will not to do it. Sooner or later 
—usually sooner— you will eliminate the bad habit. 

Let's consider a few of hundreds of possible 
examples: 

Take stammering. There are many ways to cure 
stammering. All these cures are relatively easy, since phys- 
ical defects are not usually involved at all. Stammering is 
caused by "tensing-up" to the point of immobilizing or 
"blocking" the normal, but highly complex, -speech ap- 
paratus. The basic cause is self -consciousness and fear of 
repeating the embarrassing experience of stammering which 
by repetition has become an uncontrolled speech habit and 
a "conditioned response" to speaking to others. The direct 
cause is the blocking of the normal sequences of the speech 
impulse. 

Many speech clinics use "Negative Practice" 
to cure stammering. In these speech clinics, the stammerer 
is required to deliberately and consciously stammer each 
and every word he speaks or reads. He actually practices 
stammering! He deliberately and consciously causes vocal 
blockage of every syllable of every word. He must always 
be acutely conscious that he is deliberately forcing himself 
to speak improperly— to stammer— and that he is con- 
trolling and directing this wrong method. 

When he is fully aware that he is in complete, 
deliberate control of his stammering and that he is con- 
sciously forcing the vocal-blockage cause of his stammering 
—then he can consciously stop it! From then on it is simply 
a matter of learning the proper use of the voice in speaking 
and in overcoming self-consciousness in talking to others, 



176 



both of which are easily accomplished by training and 
especially practice, so we won't attempt to detail the pro- 
cedure to its final happy conclusion. 

The point we want to make is that to eliminate 
a subconscious, uncontrollable habit, one first must get 
conscious control of it. This is done by "Negative Practice" 
—deliberately and consciously repeating the habit until it 
ceases to be subconscious and becomes a consciously ex- 
ecuted action, which you therefore can consciously stop. 

This principle of "Negative Practice" can be 
used to eliminate almost all habits. For example: 

Fingernail biting can be eliminated by con- 
sciously and deliberately biting your fingernails for a half- 
hour at a time, always emphasizing that you are deliberately 
forcing yourself to do this silly thing. When this has been 
repeated sufficiently to become fully and embarrassingly 
conscious, you not only will be able to stop, but fingernail 
biting will have become so repulsive to you that even the 
thought of it will be revolting. 

"Negative Practice" can be used to eliminate 
facial tics, teeth clicking, joint-popping, and all sorts of 
minor nervous habits. It will eliminate the involuntary 
repeating of errors in typing or writing certain words. It 
will eliminate bad habits you may have developed in golf, 
bowling or other sports, thus enabling you to greatly im- 
prove your style and form. 

One use of "Negative Practice" by which all of 
us can benefit is the relief from involuntary tension in vari- 
ous parts of our bodies. Many people unconsciously clench 
their fists. This not only produces tension in them but it 



177 



makes an unfavorable personality impression on others. 
This involuntary habit can quickly be cured and bene- 
ficial relaxation restored by the "Negative Practice" of con- 
sciously and deliberately clenching one's fists repeatedly, 
and then consciously opening and relaxing the hands. This 
same conscious "Negative Practice" can be used to elimi- 
nate unconscious muscular tension in all parts of the body. 
It is the most recommended and practiced form of relaxa- 
tion therapy. 

One note of warning. "Negative Practice" 
should NOT be used to eliminate habits where deliberate 
excess would be dangerous— such as drug addiction and 
alcoholism. 

Otherwise, start now to eliminate any undesir- 
able habits by the simple use of the proven psychological 
technique of "Negative Practice". The results are so fast 
and sure that it will be an enjoyable and rewarding expe- 
rience! 



178 



Chapter 39 



Walk Toward Danger 



When I was a very young man, just starting 
out in business— without education, without money, with- 
out influential connections, without any of the alleged 
requisites for a successful career— I was fortunate in getting 
a little book: "Tips On Leadership" by Herbert N. Casson, 
whom B. C. Forbes called "the ablest writer on business 
and business men in the whole of Britain". Herbert Cas- 
son wrote equally well about American business and busi- 
ness men. 

One of the many helpful principles I learned 
from Herbert Casson in his little book, "Tips On Leader- 
ship", was to WALK TOWARD DANGER. That precept 
has profoundly influenced my life. 

I would rather live by those three words— 
WALK TOWARD DANGER-than have a college edu- 
cation. I also would like to have a college education, but 
many college graduates will never be leaders, even though 
they may be successful by other standards. Nobody, with 



179 



or without a college education, can long be a leader unless 
he instinctively walks toward danger and naturally stands 
between his associates, his employees, or his followers— and 
danger. 

The qualities of leadership are clearly shown 
in animal life. At the first sign of danger, the leader of the 
herd steps out of the crowd, stands apart from the others— 
and walks toward the danger. Always! Or he will not con- 
tinue to be the leader. 

That same thing is true in business, in politics, 
in civic affairs. A leader must do more than give directions 
and issue orders. He must protect those whom he leads. In 
times of danger, he must step out from the crowd. He must 
meet the challenge head-on— personally. He must walk to- 
ward danger. He must place himself between the danger 
and his followers. The first time he hesitates, the first time 
he falters— he will no longer be the leader. His followers 
will turn aside and follow another leader. 

So you see, the risks of leadership are very 
great. Being a leader is no job for the timid. It requires 
more than brains and personality. Leadership requires 
courage— a special kind of instinctive courage. Leadership 
requires the kind of courage which is automatic. You do 
not ponder the pros and cons. You do not evaluate the risk. 
You do not count the personal cost. You instinctively step 
out from the crowd; you put yourself between the danger 
and those you lead. And . . . 

WALK TOWARD DANGER! 



180 



Chapter 40 



Grapple! 



It has always been so, and the big word in 
problem-solving today is "GRAPPLE". 

This word "grapple" is the principal admonish- 
ment to all who have problems (and who doesn't?). It is 
used by psychiatrists, psychologists, personal counselors 
and all who would give advice on problem-solving. 

When any one word— and the action it stands 
for— is so highly and unanimously recommended, it clearly 
deserves our thoughtful consideration— and "grapple" shall 
receive it now. 

Since grappling is the effective solution to prob- 
lems, let's first look at the part which problems have in the 
lives of all of us. Not only do all of us have problems, but 
we seem to receive a regular daily quota of problems. They 
fall upon us much as the grains of sand drop through an 
hour-glass. And sometimes it seems with as much regu- 
larity. This continuous regularity with which problems 



181 



come into our lives, is really good for us, although it may 
not seem so at the time. 

Life without risks and obstacles and problems 
would not be worth getting out of bed for. 

Happiness is not the absence of problems and 
difficulties. Happiness is successfully solving problems and 
effectively overcoming difficulties. 

It requires just as much energy to try to escape 
from a problem as it does to grapple with it and conquer 
it. Try to escape, and your problem will follow you every- 
where. Grapple with it and solve it, then it is gone forever. 

Since new problems will always continue to 
come your way with a sort of continuous regularity, it is 
obvious that you must solve and dispose of them with equal 
regularity— or they will accumulate and eventually over- 
whelm you. 

There are many broken men and women in this 
world, and almost every one has been broken in spirit, 
mind and body by the overwhelming burden of accumu- 
lated, unsolved problems. 

Most mental and emotional illnesses can be 
traced in full or in part to the subjects' having become so 
overwhelmed by the continuing accumulation of unsolved 
problems that they were no longer able to cope with them 
and tried to escape through some form of mental malad- 
justment. 

The same is true of much physical illness. Since 
50% to 90% of all physical illness is psychosomatic (depend- 
ing upon which psychiatrist's estimate you accept), most 



182 



physical illness, too, can be traced back to the accumulating 
burdens of unsolved problems. 

The only preventive is to solve your problems 
as they arise, so that unsolved problems will not accumu- 
late. Obvious. But how? 

That's where grappling comes in. Here is the 
advice of leading psychiatrists, psychologists and problem- 
solving counselors: To the extent that a person directly 
confronts the realities of a problem and actively grapples 
with it, he emerges stronger. To the extent that a person 
tries to ignore or escape from the realities of a crisis, large 
or small, he begins a worsening pattern of adjustment to 
life. 

So by facing each problem directly, then plung- 
ing wholeheartedly into its very center and actively grap- 
pling realistically with it, you almost always will produce 
an adequate solution and you will emerge a stronger and 
more capable person. 

Note that I said "adequate solution". That is an 
extremely important phase of problem-solving. Some peo- 
ple drive themselves and their associates to distraction by 
being perfectionists. They will accept nothing less than 
perfection. They insist on finding the "one best solution" to 
every problem. And thus they cannot reach decisions 
quickly and dispose of problems rapidly and with finality. 
They are forever reconsidering and re-examining. Mean- 
while, other problems continue to come and to accumulate. 

In this connection, efficiency experts (who 
know that time is an important element in efficiency) give 
this advice: 



183 



In the first place, there seldom is exclusively 
"one best solution" to most problems. There are often a 
number of "equally good solutions", any of which would be 
adequate, considering the expediency of quick decision. 
And an adequate solution, as the description implies, is 
adequate— and that's enough. 

Besides, a second-best solution quickly decided 
and promptly put into effect is more efficient than a better 
solution which requires so much time in the making that 
a multitude of other problems accumulate. 

So we see that we must not only grapple with 
our problems, but we must grapple with them immediately 
and reach an adequate solution promptly. 

Problems will not go away because you ignore 
them. Problems cannot be out-distanced when you try to 
flee from them. You cannot escape them. You must face 
each problem in turn, plunge whole-heartedly into its 
center and grapple with it so actively that you reach an 
adequate solution— then put it decisively out of your life. 

When I say "grapple actively \ I mean really 
give it everything you've got! Be like the world-famous 
artist who was asked what he mixed with his red paints to 
solve the problem of producing a red which was so intense 
that he was acclaimed the foremost painter of his time. 
What did he mix with his red paints? He didn't even 
bother to look up from his work; he just quietly replied, 
"Blood". 

GRAPPLE with your problems so aggressively 
that you put your blood into your grappling! 



184 



Life pays its highest rewards in fame and for- 
tune to the problem-solvers! 

The world is filling up with people, and this 
circumstance, alone, is a problem which threatens to over- 
whelm us. Then that problem is compounded by the fact 
that the multiplying multitudes have been misled to believe 
that griping is more productive than grappling. So they dis- 
rupt and destroy, thus creating more problems, including 
becoming problems, themselves. 

We don't need any more problem-makers. We 
need problem-solvers, not the ivory-tower type, but the 
grappling type. 

If you are a problem-solver, with the guts to 
grapple . . . the line forms at the cashier's window. 

You can name your own price. 



185 



Chapter 41 



DANGER! Do Not Threaten! 



Perhaps, never before, has there been such 
imminent clanger to so many people who do not even seem 
to realize that it is they who are causing this danger to 
themselves] 

While this danger often is manifested in less 
vehement forms than physical violence, it is the violence 
of property destruction, personal injury and death, with 
which this chapter primarily will deal. 

It is hoped that, by understanding the cause, 
at least the more intelligent activists will not deliberately 
bring this violence upon themselves and, directly or in- 
directly, upon others. 

So that I shall not be accused of over-reacting 
to ominously increasing violence, let me assure you that 
the following psychological fact has been repeatedly de- 
monstrated and verified thoroughout the entire history of 
mankind. 



186 



Let us simplify our analysis so that there can be 
no misunderstanding, and examine the one basic cause of 
this danger: 

Danger is incurred by threatening others. 

Let us get it clear— because this may be (al- 
ready has been!) a matter of life and death. Those who 
seek power by inflicting fear through threats are the ones 
in the greatest danger. 

The person who is threatened may be in dan- 
ger; the person who makes the threat is in danger. 

When one individual threatens another, the 
person who makes the threat instantly incurs the resent- 
ment, anger and hatred of the person threatened. And is 
in grave danger! 

The purpose of a threat is to instill fear. But 
it does more than create fear and its accompanying in- 
security; it instills anger and hate. If anger and hate cannot 
be vented by instant violence, they are suppressed, and 
seep into the subconscious which, in its hidden ways, seeks 
a means of eliminating the fear; therefore, the constant 
danger to the one who made the threat which caused the 
fear. 

One of the most dangerous acts in which one 
can indulge, is to threaten another. And let us emphasize 
again, the greatest danger is to the person who makes the 
threat. The person who is threatened, usually has oppor- 
tunity to prepare, and to choose the time, place and method 
of acting to halt the implementation of the threat. And, 
to retaliate. 



187 



To threaten another, is to set a time-bomb 
inside yourself, using a clock without hands or markings, 
and so never know when it will explode and destroy you. 

Yet this kind of dangerous brinkmanship has 
become a reckless way of attempting intimidation. Almost 
every day's newspapers, television and radio news pro- 
grams carry speeches which somewhere contain threats, 
direct or implied, against individuals, groups, races, classes, 
laws, governments, institutions, authorities— or whatever is 
the current threat-target of the activists, militants, disrupt- 
ers, rioters, revolutionaries or anarchists in our midst. 

These threats are made with foolhardy aban- 
don which indicates a lack of knowledge of the danger 
to the one who, himself, is making the threat! Incredible 
as it seems, people think they can threaten others with 
impunity. They cannot! 

The danger to the person making a threat is 
that a threat instills the fear of loss to someone or to many. 
It is a basic fact that while most people will work for gain, 
they will fight to avoid loss. Some may not choose to fight 
openly; some may not be able to fight immediately; but 
every person who is threatened by loss will re-act in some 
hostile manner and sooner or later will retaliate against the 
person (group, race, etc.) who threatened him. 

The people who get their exhilaration of power 
through real or implied threats for the purpose of instilling 
fear in others, are placing themselves in grave danger. It is 
they who should be afraid, because as Seneca wrote in the 
days of the great Roman Empire, "He must necessarily fear 



188 



many, whom many fear." (That statement referred to Julius 
Caesar. ) 

People who make threats are not always in dan- 
ger of assassination, although that sometimes is the case. 
More often, they are subject to injury. But much more of- 
ten, they simply are rated "undesirable and unacceptable" 
as future employees, neighbors; and by the "Establishment" 
which they so vocally confronted and which they suddenly 
discover confronts them. 

College graduates are finding it more difficult 
to get jobs. This is especially true of graduates of "trouble 
schools ." (Business is noted for detailed record-keeping!) 
It may have been great fun— or even noble— to chase 
job-recruiters off the campus, but business personnel man- 
agers have a remarkable communication system, and data 
processing has a long memory. 

Politicians, who become pawns of a vocal mi- 
nority, will find that a minority (no matter how vocal and 
how dedicated) is still a minority in the voting booths. 

Yet the threats continue; the threats multiply; 
the threats escalate in their radical demands. Clenched fists 
are raised as symbols of anarchy. But each threat assures 
subsequent retaliation. The day of accounting will come. 

And those who seek power by instilling fear 
through threats are, themselves, in the greatest danger. It 
is the lesson of history. 

It may not be too late to learn. 



189 



Chapter 42 



"I Direct Your Attention To ... " 



It is a cliche often used by public speakers: 
"I direct your attention to . . ." Nevertheless, the directing 
of close attention is essential to the success of anyone 
attempting self -improvement. 

The ability to direct your attention— to con- 
centrate it— will almost, in itself, guarantee your success. 

First, looking at it negatively, the failure to 
control the direction of your attention is the cause of many 
avoidable troubles. 

From the irritated remark, "You're not paying 
attention to a single word I say"— to the fatal highway acci- 
dent, inattention is as deadly to popularity as it is to driving. 

In view of the fact that the human mind, acting 
subconsciously, does so many vital things with perfection 
without any conscious attention at all, it is perplexing that 
in many activities this is not the case, and controlled con- 
scious attention is required. 



190 



Although the subconscious is the "storehouse 
of memory," we do not normally learn by subconscious 
exposure, but by conscious concentration. Often I have 
"read" several pages of a book while my thoughts drifted 
elsewhere, later to realize that I could not recall anything 
whatever of what I had just "read". 

All memory courses are based on intense, con- 
scious concentration of attention. 

And although the driving of your automobile 
is largely subconscious, you must keep your conscious 
attention watching for sudden, unexpected hazards if you 
are to avoid them. Most automobile accidents are the 
result of not consciously concentrating on "defensive 
driving." You must keep your attention on the inattention 
of other drivers. 

The "absent-minded" person simply is the 
victim of not paying conscious attention. 

Much has been written about the vast power 
and amazing ability of the subconscious mind. (Indeed, 
I, too, have written much about it.) And while the sub- 
conscious mind does independently perform such amazing 
feats as operating our bodily functions (heartbeat, breath- 
ing, and all the rest) and through cybernetics may even 
guide our personal destinies, let us not overlook the 
necessary directing power of our conscious minds. 

Our subconscious cannot reason. It can only 
perform, in its own wonderful way, the tasks assigned to 
it by our reasoning, conscious minds. So let us be ever 
conscious that our conscious minds are the directing force 
of our lives— for good or bad. Our conscious thinking 
makes it so. 



191 



And let us remember, too, in these days of 
hallucinatory drugs which block out the reasoning, con- 
scious mind so that one can take a "trip" in his uninhibited 
subconscious, that the weird visions conjured up do not 
compare with the detailed beauty which can be enjoyed 
by focusing your conscious attention on the wonders of 
nature all around you— the simple beauty of a rose, the 
breathtaking view from a mountain top, the restless rolling 
of the deep, green ocean, the unrestrained joy of a happy 
child. 

The penalties for not paying attention are so 
severe and the rewards of focusing concentrated attention 
are so great that I want to close this brief essay as I opened 
it— with the public speaker's cliche: "I want to direct your 
attention to . . . ATTENTION." 

It just might make a big difference in your life. 



192 



Chapter 43 



Are You Lonely? 



There are many people who, by the nature of 
their lives, occupations or circumstances, spend consider- 
able time alone. 

This does not mean that they are lonely. 

Being alone may— or may not— contribute to 
loneliness. As a matter of fact, people who are subject to 
the feeling of loneliness may experience its symptoms 
while being in a crowd. Remember the line in the old song, 
"I could be lonely out in a crowd"? 

Feeling lonely is a neurosis which can intensify 
and escalate through various stages of annoyance, irritabil- 
ity, depression and finally end up being a full-fledged 
psychosis which psychiatrists call "monophobia". 

Since, from its unpleasant early stages to the 
extreme morbidness of its monophobia stage, loneliness is 
so entirely undesirable— if you experience even its mildest 
forms, get rid of it! 



193 



Getting rid of loneliness not only is simple and 
permanent, but its elimination provides the double enjoy- 
ment of decreasing unhappiness and increasing happiness 
every easy step of the way. 

The first and all-important step in eliminating 
loneliness is to recognize what it really is. And this may 
surprise you! Most people think of loneliness as "being 
alone" or "missing somebody". So they never get at the 
real cause, and therefore don't find a cure. 

Psychiatrists say that loneliness is not liking 
yourself! It is not being able to get along with yourself 
when you are alone and your attention tends to center on 
you as you imagine yourself to be. Loneliness is not 
liking the quiet environment when you must confront your- 
self with yourself and decide what to do next with you . . . 
alone. It is not liking yourself even in a crowd and experi- 
encing a feeling of withdrawal because of it until you feel 
apart from others and "alone in a crowd". 

Let's face it. The person you're going to have 
to spend the most time with is you. All others, no matter 
how dear, how companionable, or how interesting, cannot 
be with you every minute or every hour or every day— and 
for various reasons, the time may come when they will not 
be with you at all. 

Since you are going to spend all of the rest of 
your life with you, you might as well learn to like yourself. 
This does not mean be egotistical. (People are not nearly 
as egotistical to themselves as they appear to be when trying 
to impress others.) People, when they are alone, tend to 
evaluate themselves very much as they really think they 



194 



are. That is why not liking yourself and therefore especially 
not liking being alone with yourself causes the mental and 
emotional discomfort known as loneliness. 

That subconscious mind of yours starts digging 
up and parading before your conscious mind unpleasant 
thoughts involving you— and you dont like it. Psychiatrists 
have found that the hypersensitive, irritable, annoying, 
criticizing, nagging people who are quick to use those 
unpleasant qualities to hurt others, are the ones who turn 
those same qualities inward when they are alone. Perhaps 
they feel a sense of guilt. Anyway, they feel lonely. 

We can state it more simply. If you get along 
well with others, you will get along equally well with your- 
self—and you will have eliminated the basic cause of 
loneliness. 

But what to do when you are alone? One of 
the most rewarding things to do is nothing! Actually it is 
far from being nothing, but it does consist of almost total 
physical inactivity. This physical inactivity when you are 
alone enables you to engage in two of the most enjoyable 
and rewarding mental and spiritual activities: 

(1) MEDITATION 

(2) CONTEMPLATION 

Let's consider the rewards of (1) MEDITA- 
TION. There comes a thunderous command: "Be still, and 
know that I am God!" And every religious leader, every 
philosopher, every thinker, every great and good man and 
woman has heeded those words, has gone off alone to a 
quiet place, has been still and meditated . . . and listened 
spiritually. 



195 



I don't need to make a case for it. I need only 
ask you to read their biographies. Any of them. All of them. 
Was Jesus lonesome when He spent forty days and forty 
nights— alone— in the wilderness? Was Thoreau lonesome 
during the years he spent— alone— at Walden Pond? One 
of the most fulfilling, rewarding experiences of life is to 
be alone, to be still, to listen spiritually ... to meditate. 
I promise you won't feel lonesome. 

Now let's consider the other physical inactivity 
in which you can engage mentally and spiritually when 
you are alone: (2) CONTEMPLATION. This is an art, 
the joys of which are indescribable. It is the art of thought- 
ful attention to almost anything until you "identify" with it 
—spiritually become a part of it. Contemplation can include 
everything from bird-watching to art appreciation, to just 
contemplating the sheer incredibility of the infinite detail 
of the "everyday" things you see outside the window, or 
inside the house. 

The people who annoy me most are those dull 
blobs who sit in airplanes with their faces buried in maga- 
zines in the blase attempt to give a sophisticated impres- 
sion that this is "just another routine bus ride, all in the 
day's work." And now the airplane movie-watchers! Well, 
I happen to have flown on quite a few planes in various 
parts of the world, myself. And every plane trip is an 
exhilarating experience! There, hopefully, are clouds, al- 
ways different, always changing. Always magnificent! And 
I am in them! In daylight, there is the panorama of the 
earth below, with its kaleidoscope of patterns made of 
crazy-quilt workings of man and nature. At night, from 



196 



the window of a plane, I look down on jewels of light, 
some scattered, some bursting in massed splendor like 
exploding skyrockets. This is a fragment of the universe, 
and through contemplation, I am happily involved in it! 
Lonely? Amid all this! 

If you will but look, you will find the opportuni- 
ties for contemplation are as limitless as . . . well, as 
every thing! And the deep, satisfying spiritual joy of quiet 
contemplation is just as limitless. You cannot be lonely 
when you are absorbed in contemplating the vastest or 
the tiniest parts of this mysterious, magnificent universe. 

Of course, you do not need an airplane or any 
form of travel to enjoy your world. If you cannot, or do 
not choose to leave your easy chair, the world will come 
to you through books, publications, radio and television. 
And not just the world as an ever-fascinating spectacle— 
but its interesting people of today and on back through 
history. You can examine their lives, their thoughts, their 
deeds. Again, you have readily available to you . . . con- 
templation unlimited. And a sure cure for loneliness- 
forever! 

One of the recommended cures for loneliness 
is to "lose yourself in busy activity", be it vigorous work 
or active play, or some difficult puzzle or game which 
requires your full mental concentration. If you "lose your- 
self' simply as a means of escapism— of escaping from 
yourself temporarily— then this method of escape will soon 
come to an end, leaving you enervated physically, men- 
tally, and emotionally, more subject to the symptoms of 
loneliness than when you began this grimly trying to "lose 



197 



yourself". But if you use work, sports, play, concentration 
games, for the sheer fun of enjoying and expressing your- 
self in happy activity, then, of course, you have found a 
sure and exciting cure for loneliness. 

Obviously, being with people you love, or like, 
or in whom you can find some interest, prevents or allevi- 
ates loneliness. I mention this situation last because some 
people place so much dependence on just being with others 
that they shrink from facing their own selves— alone— for 
any appreciable length of time. Yet you and I and all of 
us are going to spend the rest of our lives with our own 
selves. And, as I have pointed out earlier, all others, no 
matter how dear, how companionable, how interesting, 
cannot be with you every minute or every hour or every 
day— and, for various reasons, the time may come when 
they will not be with you at all. 

So, look first to yourself and like yourself. If 
you cannot accept yourself, as you now are, then you re 
going to have to change yourself into the kind of person 
you can accept, like and get along with— alone. Because, 
if you cannot get along with yourself— alone— then all the 
escapism you can devise, will not prevent loneliness. 

But, if you can enjoy being with you, you have 
a life-time companion who will be with you always, to 
seek out the unlimited miracles of a universe filled with 
things to see and do, or just to read about, to meditate 
upon, or to contemplate in the depths of your exploring 
spirit. 

When you like being with j/om— you'll never 
be lonely. 



198 



Chapter 44 



Find Out 



The world belongs to those who find out. 

Show me the person who can find out what the 
trouble is— and how to fix it— and I will guarantee that 
person's success in life, business, and the pursuit of happi- 
ness. 

There is nothing more demoralizing to personal 
stability than a life full of question marks. 

There are very few activities more satisfying 
and rewarding than finding the answers to questions, the 
solutions to problems. 

We need people who can get things done. 
But even more, we need people who can find out what 
needs to be done and the best way to do it. The world is 
full of people who are doing something— and doing it 
wrong. The world is full of people who know all kinds of 
things— and what they know is wrong. They didn't find out. 

It would be better if they did nothing, knew 
nothing. Then they could start with a clean slate. They 



199 



could find out first, so that what they thought, said, and 
did, would be right. There is no advantage in being wrong 
—even if you're wrong first. It is much more profitable to 
take the time required— and be right later. 

All governments are full of people busily 
doing wrong things, deciding on wrong policies, and ex- 
pensively carrying them out in the wrong way, with the 
wrong results. Our own nation's history is a long record of 
how to do things wrong— not because we didn't try— but 
because we didn't find out. 

Business makes a big project of doing things 
wrong. Maybe computers will help. But my experience 
with computers doesn't bear out that hopeful conclusion. 
When a computer makes a mistake it is so astronomical or 
so repetitive that a hundred people doing things wrong 
couldn't equal it. I have spent my life in business. I'm 
retired now, so I have plenty of time to look back on all 
the mistakes I made. I even have analyzed them. Sort 
of post-mortem. I have concluded that all the many mis- 
takes I made could have been avoided simply by finding 
out. 

Education is supposed to be devoted to finding 
out— and that's good. The trouble is that education doesn't 
start at the beginning. The ultimate purpose of education 
should be to enable you to succeed— and I define success as 
the attainment of your goal in life. To do this, education 
must first provide you with three fundamentals: 

( 1 ) INSPIRE you with real, believable facts 

which will convince you that you can and 

will succeed. 



200 



(2) MOTIVATE you first to find out what 
you need to know and what you need to do 
to assure your success— and then continue to 
motivate you, throughout your entire life, to 
do whatever your success requires. 

(3) Teach you a simple SUCCESS FOR- 
MULA which you easily and always can use 
to achieve your goal in life. 

That's not all there is to education, but it is 
the necessary beginning. 

In government, in business, in education, and 
in everyday living, if you want to be great, if you want to 
be acclaimed, if you want to be rich— find out what the 
trouble is and find out how to fix it. You don't have to fix 
it personally. There are plenty of people to do the actual 
work. But the big rewards go to the person who FINDS 
OUT. 



201 



Chapter 45 



Success Begins With Three 



It is the unique plan of this book that each 
chapter shall be unrelated to preceding chapters. The 
purpose is to give you entirely different "Thoughts To 
Build On", and thus add variety to brevity. 

However, in this chapter, I want to say a little 
more about one idea mentioned in the previous chapter. 
It has to do with education and the three things with 
which education must begin, if it is to guarantee your 
success in achieving your goal in life. 

Most formal education today begins with an 
empty fuel tank. It has no motive power. It begins by 
loading you down with facts before it gives you an operat- 
ing vehicle with which to use those facts to reach a goal 
-SUCCESS. 

Obviously, in the early years of life, success 
cannot be defined in specialized terms of specific careers. 
So it will have to range from the initial concept of: "CAN 



DO" to as far as available imagination can see. The degree 
will depend on the stage of development. 

But that does not affect the premise that there 
are preliminary essentials which must precede every edu- 
cational and training process: 

First, you must be INSPIRED with real, be- 
lievable facts which convince you that you can and will 
succeed. That is the ignition which ignites the fuel in the 
rocket to propel your guided missile to success. No igni- 
tion—and you stay on the ground. There are too many 
lives which are grounded because nobody provided the 
ignition of inspiration. 

Next, you must be MOTIVATED to find out 
what you need to know and do in order to assure your 
success. Motivation converts inspiration into activity. But 
activity, no matter how nobly inspired, can be good or bad. 
It does no good to heroically mount your steed and then 
frantically ride off in the wrong direction. So your inspira- 
tion must be sufficiently motivated for you to be willing 
to pay the price of your success in terms of a predetermined 
goal. There must be a goal and it must be predetermined 
—otherwise you will be accumulating facts for which you 
will have no future use. 

Whatever you want from life has a price tag. 
Not just in money. Money usually is involved, but that is 
unimportant, since anybody can get whatever amount of 
money he needs. It is the other things included in the 
price of success which you must be willing to pay— the 
personal sacrifices in time, effort, study, planning, finding 
out, going, doing. Formal education too often fails to 



203 



provide sufficient directional motivation along with the 
facts. 

Finally, there is a third essential which— to- 
gether with inspiration and motivation— must precede 
every educational and training process. 

You must be given a simple, easy SUCCESS 
FORMULA which you can use to achieve whatever you 
want in life. It is incredible that people do not understand 
the development and use of a success formula. I know of 
no college or university, high school or vocational school, 
which teaches a real, genuine, sure-fire success formula. 
Yet, together with inspiration and motivation, a success 
formula is one of the three fundamentals with which useful 
education and training must begin. 

The government— at all levels: federal, state 
and local— is engaged in all sorts of educational and 
training programs to help the underprivileged become more 
successful. Yet, these government-financed programs 
which require billions of dollars of the taxpayers money, 
do not start with providing the underprivileged with the 
three fundamentals they must have first before the educa- 
tion and training they receive can be meaningful and 
directional. 

Make this simple test. Look at the pictures of 
the underprivileged on television or see them in real life 
as they live their aimless, hopeless, poverty-retarded exist- 
ences. Then ask yourself these simple questions: 

(1) Are the underprivileged INSPIRED with 
a positive belief that they can and will succeed in earning 
a full share of the abundance of our affluent society? 



204 



(2) Are the underprivileged MOTIVATED 
first to find out what they need to know and do to earn 
success and are they enthusiastically learning and doing 
those things right now? 

(3) Do the underprivileged have an easy, sim- 
ple, proven SUCCESS FORMULA which they now con- 
tinuously use to guide them directly to success, to enable 
them to attain whatever they want? 

(4) If the underprivileged are not now pro- 
vided with these first three fundamental essentials of suc- 
cess, why aren't they? Whose fault is it? Why isn't this 
fault immediately corrected? 



205 



Chapter 46 



When Personal Tragedy Comes 



This is not a happy chapter to write— but it 
needs to be written in the hope that some day it will 
diminish heartbreak into heartache, then gently substitute 
the healing of an acceptance which asks not understanding. 

Because into each life— sometime— personal 
tragedy will come, inevitably, as a part of life . . . and 
death. 

There are explanations of this. Choose one if 
it helps. It is not our purpose here to examine explanations, 
but to seek relief. 

Nor shall we morbidly list personal tragedies 
for they are sufficient unto themselves. We shall state 
simply that the personal tragedies of our lives are our 
losses of things or, more often, of persons, very dear and 
very much a part of us. 

Then they are gone. 

What shall we do? What can we do? What 
MUST we do? 



206 



Four things. 

Other things, too, perhaps— but always these 
four, because just as personal tragedy is inevitable, these 
four steps to recovery are infallible. 

Each of the four is spelled beginning with an 
"A", which makes them easy to remember when grief blurs 
our thoughts: A ... A ... A ... A. 

(1) ADMIT: First, you must ADMIT that 
the tragic loss has occurred. There may be temporary relief 
in numb disbelief. But the anesthesia of disbelief wears off 
in confrontation with fact and encourages withdrawal from 
reality in a vain attempt to sustain escape. 

There is a mental danger in playing make- 
believe with tragedy. It is better (in fact, it is necessary 
if you are to maintain sanity) to face tragedy frankly, 
squarely, honestly. There is relief and strength in the cour- 
age to meet reality boldly and openly, to ADMIT that what 
is so, IS so. 

Only when you have taken the first step, AD- 
MIT, is it possible to obtain the merciful relief of the next 
step toward peace of mind and spirit: 

(2) ACCEPT: By fully admitting your tragic 
loss, you open the way to what probably is the greatest 
and most rewarding of all mental, emotional and spiritual 
powers: ACCEPTANCE. 

Acceptance of the inevitable is one of man- 
kind's greatest achievements. In recognizing the human 
inability to control all circumstances, ACCEPTANCE gives 
man mastery over the consequences of those events he 
cannot control. 



207 



And so, with personal tragedy. Complete 
ACCEPTANCE of it-with humility and submission- 
quietly, but surely, gives you the mastery of survival and 
the inner resources to deal with whatever consequences 
may result. 

No one is given a burden without, at the same 
time, being given the strength to bear it. 

Willingness to ACCEPT the inevitable misfor- 
tunes of life transcends almost every other human power. 
It is useless to fight the inevitable— or to reject it, or curse 
it, or hate it. On an ancient cathedral in Holland is 
inscribed the eternal truth: "It is so. It cannot be other- 
wise." 

We can deal with such finality only through 
ACCEPTANCE, as philosopher William James advises, 
"Be willing to have it so. ACCEPTANCE of what has hap- 
pened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of 
any misfortune." 

And, in the philosophy of Schopenhauer, "A 
good supply of resignation is of first importance in pro- 
viding for the journey of life." 

By ACCEPTANCE you attain a spiritual tran- 
sition from sorrow to tranquility. 

But what then? 

If we (1) ADMIT and (2) ACCEPT, we 
achieve peace of mind. But then must we, like Buddha, 
lose ourselves in idle, serene contemplation? 

Believing there is more to make of life than 
that, we move forward, taking Step Number Three— the 
third "A": 



208 



(3) ADAPT: The act of ADAPTING gives 
validity to admitting and accepting— it is the third dimen- 
sion which imparts substance, otherwise there remains only 
a passive state of mind, helpful as that is, but nothing more. 

It is the act of ADAPTING, the ego-involve- 
ment in making whatever changes are necessary to adjust 
completely to all of the circumstances of your misfortune, 
which excludes the imminent possibility of withdrawal. 
You must become willingly and totally involved in what- 
ever adjustments are necessary, because withdrawal from 
reality soon becomes a severe mental illness. 

Your ADAPTING must come from within. 
Your adjustment to the changed situations resulting from 
misfortune must be voluntary and without reservation. 
Your adjustment must be total . . . and it must be yours. 
It must bear the hallmark of your courage, your determina- 
tion, your decision. 

Thus, because you : (1) ADMIT, (2) ACCEPT, 
and (3) ADAPT . . . you attain a spiritual transition of 
indescribable magnitude. 

What more can you do? 

One more thing. One more "A", perhaps the 
easiest because it is made possible by your having com- 
pleted the first three steps, but this final "A" will put you 
back into the mainstream of life: 

(4) ACT: The ultimate achievement in deal- 
ing with the consequences of tragedy is to ACT at once, 
leaving the door which Fate forever closed, and ACTIVE- 
LY seeking the open door which Faith promises, "Seek 



209 



and ye shall find." For it is a Law of Life that when Fate 
closes one door, Faith opens another. 

And what is beckoning to you beyond the Door 
of Faith? There is an ACTIVITY in which you can lose 
your SELF— in a cause of your own choosing, an activity 
which will occupy your thoughts and energies, and which 
is bigger than you and, therefore, bigger than any feeling 
of tragedy which may still possess you. 

You must seek your own channel of ACTIV- 
ITY . . . find your own cause . . . arid then put your entire 
SELF into it, leaving no part of YOU behind to relive, 
again and again, the regret, the remorse, the grief of a 
tragedy you cannot now undo. You must find the motiva- 
tion to ACT— to WORK— physically and mentally, to help 
others, thus losing your in-growing SELF-conscioiisness 
of tragedy by replacing it with an out-going OTHERS- 
consciousness of helpfulness. 

Hard physical and mental WORK (the more 
constructive and worthwhile, the better) will relieve and 
replace emotional tension, anxiety and grief, and will pro- 
vide the healthful exhaustion which assures relaxing rest 
in the satisfying glow of accomplishment. The ACTIVITY 
you choose must be more than an occupation— it must be 
a dedication. 

So the total: A + A + A + A: (1) ADMIT, 
(2) ACCEPT, (3) ADAPT, and (4) ACT ... the infall- 
ible combination which, used in that order, will reveal 
the Door of Faith through which you can walk confidently 
into a new life .. . . serene and assured— busy with the 
present, secure in the knowledge that you can accept and 



210 



surmount sucb inevitable vicissitudes as the unpredictable 
future may bring. 

Where is the source of such additional power 
as you may need to achieve these results? 

The power is provided by the very act of your 
DOING, because it is a Law of Life that, if you act in 
faith, as you do the thing, you will receive the power. 

Thus your capability to survive and then sur- 
mount personal tragedy finds its power-source in your con- 
summate faith that you are a part of Infinity which, being 
total perfection, can harbor no problems— including yours 
—and so, with unlimited resources, absolves your problems 
when you have the wisdom and faith to release them. 



211 



Chapter 47 



The Sympathy Seekers 



This world does not have a very good reputa- 
tion for treating its temporary occupants with tender loving 
care. So if you want to invoke sympathy, you will not 
lack opportunities. 

But if we are to cope with our problems, we 
need less sympathy and more determination. 

Annette Kellerman was lame and sickly. Did 
she want sympathy? No, she wanted a perfect body. 
With determination, exercise and professional treatment, 
she developed a perfect body. She was judged one of the 
world's most perfectly developed women. She also be- 
came the World Diving Champion. 

Sandow started life as a sickly weakling. Now, 
the last thing Sandow wanted was sympathy. He wanted 
strength! He determinedly exercised until he developed 
one of the most perfect bodies in history and became the 
strongest man of his time. 



212 



Some years later, a lame, weak little boy named 
George Jowett decided that determination was more 
constructive than sympathy. He was right. Instead of 
feeling sorry for himself and wanting others to feel sorry 
for his lameness and weakness, he charged and re-charged 
his mind and body with determination. What happened? 
No miracle. Just the natural Law of Cause and Effect. 
It always works. In ten years, George Jowett became the 
world's strongest man. 

Then there was poor, blind, deaf, mute Helen 
Keller. Did she want sympathy? No. She was determined 
to surmount her handicaps and to devote her life to helping 
others (who were not nearly so handicaped! ) . She became 
one of the most inspiring women of all time. And it is 
important to note that Helen Keller did not eliminate her 
physical handicaps— that was impossible. What Helen Keller 
did was to use determination to surmount her handicaps 
and achieve greatness while she was handicappedl 

Modern medicine can eliminate most physical 
handicaps. Even then, determination is a great factor. 
Often the first attempt at a cure does not work. So people 
become sympathy-seekers instead of cure-seekers. As Edi- 
son did with his experiments, you have to have the deter- 
mination to persist, sometimes through many failures, until 
finally a solution is found. One of the best therapies is to 
keep busy seeking a cure! 

There are, of course, some physical handicaps 
like Helen Keller's blindness, deafness and muteness 
which cannot be completely cured. Then you, like Helen 
Keller, must not seek sympathy, but use determination, to 



213 



surmount your handicap and achieve a happy, satisfying 
life while you are handicapped— in spite of your handicap— 
or, better still, because of your handicap. 

Beethoven wrote his immortal symphonies 
when he was deaf. 

Milton wrote Paradise Lost when he was blind. 

Alexander Pope was so crippled that he hardly 
could move, yet he became one of the giants of English 
literature. 

Julius Caesar was epileptic, yet he conquered 
the then-known world. When he felt an epileptic seizure 
coming on, he gave instructions for carrying on the battle 
while he was unconscious. When he regained conscious- 
ness, he calmly resumed command as though nothing had 
happened. 

Franklin D. Roosevelt, crippled by infantile 
paralysis, became President. 

In a prison cell, John Bunyan wrote Pilgrim's 
Progress, a book that is one of the epics of English 
literature. 

Robert Louis Stephenson was never, even for 
one hour, free from pain and a hacking cough. He suffered 
from fever and tuberculosis. Yet he wrote Treasure Island 
and many exciting or humorous stories. 

We could fill the rest of this book and many 
additional volumes just giving examples of the crippled, 
the sickly, the physically handicapped, who disdained 
sympathy and by sheer determination achieved the greater 
solace of surmounting their infirmities. 



214 



There are countless thousands who daily sur- 
mount their handicaps by accepting them and adapting to 
them. They seek no sympathy; they ask no privileged as- 
sistance. These people, whom we call "handicapped", go 
about their daily lives with acceptance, determination and 
ingenious adaptation which should make those of us, who 
are less handicapped, ashamed of our petty complaining 
and our pleas (or demands) for custodial care from some 
form of beneficent society. 

There are those without arms, who operate 
automobiles and machinery with their feet. 

There are those without legs, who move about 
with agility by using their arms, or with artificial limbs. 

There are the blind, whose accomplishments 
are no less than miracles to those of us who have not been 
confronted with the challenge of continuous total darkness. 

They are not sympathy-seekers. They have 
compensated for their handicaps by attaining a quality of 
character which many of the more fortunate of us should 
persistently seek. 



215 



Chapter 48 



Externalize Yourself. Don't Exist! 



This is a psychological technique which may 
eliminate self-consciousness, make you more popular than 
you ever dreamed possible, make you a master of the 
rewarding art of conversation, change your entire life for 
the better (which is an understatement). 

In all fairness, I also should tell you that ex- 
ternalizing themselves may be difficult for most people 
at first. Not impossible. Just difficult— because it requires 
breaking a bad habit. And the resulting feeling is a little 
strange. But it's fantastically exciting! 

What most of us do— and have done all our 
lives— is internalize ourselves. Which simply means we 
think about ourselves and we relate other people and 
events to ourselves, our families, friends and possessions. 
That's nothing of which we need be ashamed since it is 
an intinct with which we were born. It is our inheritance 
from prehistoric man who had to devote almost his full 



216 



time to himself and the effect of his antagonistic environ- 
ment on himself. 

Now let's consider what would happen if we 
were to reverse the process and externalize ourselves. We 
would, insofar as possible, think of others and think in 
terms of their needs, desires, hopes, plans, interests and 
involvements with life. 

We would, insofar as possible, "not exist" in 
our own minds. Only others would exist. 

Well, what would happen? 

Let's consider fear. Fear usually is anticipated 
danger to ourselves, our families, friends or possessions. 
When we stop thinking about ourselves, we immediately 
stop being afraid. Thus we eliminate fear and its related 
anxiety and worry. 

For example, take the fear of meeting and 
talking to strangers. We are SELF-conscious and feel a 
sense of anxiety concerning a possible poor impression we 
may make and thus damage our SELF-image. But change 
SELF-consciousness to OTHERS-consciousness, eliminate 
the concern for your SELF-image and the conditions for 
fear for yourself vanish. You are poised, undisturbed, at 
ease, unafraid. Obviously, the impression you will make 
will be greatly improved. 

Now, consider the result of externalizing your- 
self in your conversations. YOU "don't exist". Only 
OTHERS exist. So your conversation is entirely about 
them, their families, their interests, their successes, their 
aspirations. Would not this make you a much more inter- 
esting conversationalist to them? And since they naturally 



217 



know more about themselves than you do, this would 
enable them to do most of the talking— an additional star 
in your conversation crown. 

Example could follow example, but, for the 
sake of brevity, let's go for the jack-pot now and consider 
externalizing your entire attitude toward life. Dont think 
' 'inside" about you, your aches and irritations, your annoy- 
ances and troubles . . . but think "outside"— externalize 
your thinking— 'don t exist" except as a force for helping 
others and making this a better world and a better life for 
as many others as you can. 

Don't do this for appreciation or reward be- 
cause, remember, YOU "don t exist". You will have become 
a part of a much bigger thing— something so much bigger 
that some call it . . . INFINITY. 



218 



Chapter 49 



Infinity Has No Problems 



So you have problems? Troubles? Fears, wor- 
ries, anxieties? 

Sure you do. But do you know why? It's 
because you are a human being and, like all the rest of us, 
just aren't big enough, powerful enough, intelligent enough, 
not to have problems, troubles, fears, worries and anxieties. 
And, unfortunately, neither you nor any of us can ever 
be that big, that powerful, that intelligent. 

So, that's that. Or ... is it? 

Perhaps we can get some help. Where? Well, 
is there anything which does not have problems? Sure. 
Infinity has no problems. Everything works exactly, per- 
fectly. Always does. Undoubtedly always has. Every- 
thing in the whole universe, from planets to electrons, 
works perfectly. No problems. Perfection. That's what 
Infinity is . . . perfection. 

And, Infinity is something else. Infinity is 
EVERYTHING. That makes Infinity important-and per- 



sonal-to YOU! Because EVERYTHING, which is In- 
finity, includes YOU. 

That makes YOU a part of the Infinite which 
is so big, so powerful, so intelligent that it has no prob- 
lems, no troubles, no fears, no worries. And, since you are 
a PART of the Infinite, you are a PARTNER of the Infinite. 

There's help! More help than you'll ever need! 
The trouble with most people is that they never realize 
that such help is available to them, anytime, any place, 
anywhere. Suppose you were a partner of a billionaire— 
and never knew it. It would never do you any good. And 
that's just a trivial example compared to being a part of 
—a partner of —the Infinite. 

If you want your partner to help you, you 
have to be constantly aware of your partnership. Assign 
all of your problems, troubles, fears and worries to Infinity, 
which having no problems, will dispose of yours with 
Infinite wisdom and power— thus continuing to have no 
problems. 

People have difficulty dealing directly with any- 
thing so unlimited as Infinity. Naturally. So, many people 
personalize Infinity and, in this part of the world, they 
call Infinity . . . God. 



220 



Chapter 50 



Life Is A Mirror 



This is going to be a sort of trite chapter— 
because I (and others) have written about this truism 
often and in many ways. Yet it intrigues me so much that 
I must write about it once again. 

I am deeply fascinated by the fact that each of 
our lives is the exact reflection of our own selves. Life is a 
mirror which always reflects what we think, how we feel, 
what we do and— especially— what we really are. 

It is a sobering thought. It should cause one 
to pause in his day's moods to witness his reflection in the 
mirror of his life. 

As we grow older the picture of our past is 
etched in the lines of our faces and illuminated, dimly or 
brightly, in the depths of our eyes. The old saying that 
others can "read us like a book" might better be expressed 
that they can "observe us like a picture"— and almost in- 
stantly judge us. 



221 



But, some say that appearances are misleading. 
And so they are— sometimes— if we judge by physical ap- 
pearances only. Many people have been known to change 
their characters and personalities more rapidly than nature 
can change the outward physical manifestations of their 
new selves. So the novices in character and personality 
judgment often are misled, as novices usually are in every 
field. 

Life, nonetheless, is an accurate mirror. But it 
is much more than the usual plate-glass mirror in which 
we see ourselves every day. The mirror of life shows not 
only our outer appearances, as we have created them, but, it 
reveals our inner selves— our characters, our mental depths 
and emotional stabilities, our personality traits and degrees 
of magnetism. 

It is the sum total of our outer and inner selves 
which makes up our real reflections in life's mirror— which 
are more than visual reflections, but are auras which can 
be sensed as well as seen. 

If this were only a matter of observing our real 
selves as we have created them, it would be merely an 
interesting and revealing phenomenon. But it is much more. 

It is the creator of our destinies! 

We not only become the sum total of every- 
thing we have thought, experienced and done in our past, 
but in so becoming, our natures determine our responses 
to events which constitute our lives. 

It simply is a chain of causes and results. What 
we think, feel and do, causes us to be what we are. And 



222 



what we are, causes the circumstances and events of our 
lives. 

Do not be so naive as to delude yourself that 
your life is a happening of fate. It was caused— principally 
by you— and it is a mirror which accurately reflects what 
you now are. 

If you dont like what you see in life's mirror— 
you can always change it. Simply by changing YOU. 



223 



Chapter 51 



Inner Pace For Inner Peace 



Those, who have thought deeply, have referred 
to inner pace in different ways: 

. . like muffled drums are beating . . . " 
. . your personal inner rhythm . . . " 
. . your own private pace . . . " 
. . march to your own drummer ..." 
It is this personal, individual pace which offers 
our lives stability. To exceed it, is to stir an inner frenzy. 
To fall behind this beat within you, is to cause the erosion 
of personal deterioration. 

You can neither speed it up nor slow it down. 
It is your own muffled drum, your own inner rhythm, your 
own private pace. 

Is conducting your life at your built-in pace a 
limitation? 

Not unless stability is a limitation. Not unless 
poise and serenity and inner calm are limitations. And they 
are not. 



224 



In a world which buffets us about— sometimes 
gently, sometimes harshly— we would be at the mercy of 
relentless, unpredictable and disastrously varying forces, 
if we did not accept them calmly, knowing that we could 
proceed "in fortune and misfortune, at our own private 
pace, like the ticking of a clock in a thunderstorm/* 

Thus our lives maintain stability. It is this 
marching through life, unhurried and undisturbed, to the 
muffled beat of our inner drummer, in accord with our own 
rhythm, which enables us to keep on course, however 
the forces of chance may press against us. 

To achieve this stability, to march through the 
vicissitudes of life with steady, even persistence requires, 
first, that we accept the existence of an inner rhythm which 
sets our inner pace. By living at the rate of our own inner 
pace, we find inner peace. It is a condition diligently to be 
sought. 

But how to seek it? How to find it? That is 
much like asking how to find God. In fact, the two are 
interrelated— because rhythm is a part of the Universe. 

Light is the result of rhythmic light waves. 
Sound is the result of rhythm sound waves. Electric power 
is the result of successive rhythmic impulses. The Universe 
consists of the vastness of planets rotating at a precise pace 
around their suns— huge demonstrations of their minimized 
reproductions in the infinite organization of all matter and 
energy. From the largest to the smallest components of 
Infinity there is repeated motion— a rhythm, a pace. 

To recognize and accept this Universal truth, is 
to know that you— as a part of the Universe— have an inner 



225 



pace, too. Awareness of its existence is prerequisite to find- 
ing it. It is not so obvious as the pace of your heartbeat or 
breathing, although these physical symptoms, together with 
your degree of tension, stress and strain, all are indicators 
of whether or not you are living in rhythm with your inner 
pace. 

Just as a motor, the moving parts of which are 
not rhythmically synchronized, will destroy itself through 
the continuing shocks of excessive vibration— so you will 
destroy yourself if you do not live your life at the inner 
pace which produces inner calm. 

And that is the test. If you do not normally 
maintain an inner calm, it is a warning that you are not— 
physically, mentally or spiritually— living in rhythm with 
your own inner pace. 

Only you can make the necessary adjustments 
in your own life— but when you have made them, you will 
feel an inner calm . . . you will know the 'peace that 
passeth understanding/' 



226 



Chapter 52 



The Ostrich Target 



It has been said that an ostrich which sticks 
its head in the sand, makes an irresistible target for a 
paddle. 

And so people who, ostrich-like, bend over to 
hide their heads in the sands of unreality, make irresistible 
targets for the paddle of Fate. 

Which brings up the highly controversial sub- 
ject of the positive affirmation which tries to hide like an 
ostrich from the reality of evil. 

One cannot think of the generalized positive 
affirmation without thinking of the psychologist-psychia- 
trist Emile Coue and his famous affirmation, "Every day 
in every way I m getting better and better/' I can re- 
member when a lot of people used to laugh at that. Well, 
they can stop laughing. 

Emile Coue cured a lot of people by having 
them repeat that simple affirmation over and over again, 
in every spare minute, day after day. That was all— repeat 



227 



it and believe it. That simple affirmation effected many 
remarkable cures and it will cure a lot of people today. 

Since more than half of today's illnesses are 
psychosgmatic (which, as you know, means bodily dis- 
orders induced by mental or emotional disturbances ) it is 
clear that Emile Coue used one of various methods of treat- 
ing the source of more than half of all illnesses and, in 
addition, provided a favorable mental and emotional atti- 
tude toward physically-caused diseases as well. 

The use of the conscious mind to implant bene- 
ficial suggestions in the subconscious mind is an accepted 
form of therapy. It will be dealt with in other chapters 
of this book, but it is not the subject of this chapter. 

Here we are to consider the insistence of Emile 
Coue on using the most general possible affirmation, "Every 
day in every way I m getting better and better." Note how 
general and broad the terms of that affirmation are. 

This wasn't because Coue was trying to reduce 
the therapy of affirmation to its simplest form. Nor was he 
seeking an all-purpose cure. He insisted on the use of 
broad, general, indefinite terms because he was afraid to 
be definite and name the specific ailments or diseases in 
the affirmations he had his patients implant in their sub- 
conscious minds. 

For example, Coue would not permit his pa- 
tients to use a specific affirmation such as, "Every day in 
every way my sore back is getting better and better." He 
was afraid that implanting an affirmation in the patient's 
subconscious mind specifying "sore back 9 would focus the 
subconscious on the ailment itself and thus aggravate it or, 



228 



at least, perpetuate it. So his affirmation never referred to 
a specific condition. 

Now, there is a lot of logic and sound psychol- 
ogy in Coue s reasoning. It generally is accepted that the 
subconscious mind is like an electronic computer. You feed 
information, visual images, emotional feelings, into it and 
consciously give it directions. Then, in cybernetic fashion, 
it steers the course of your life to bring into reality the 
mental images and directions of your conscious mind. It 
cannot judge whether they are good or bad, right or wrong. 
Its function is solely to materialize them as it interprets 
them. 

Since the subconscious mind receives and "un- 
derstands" only mental pictures, Coue reasoned that the 
inclusion of a specific ailment— such as "sore hack 99 — in an 
affirmation which was impressed in the subconscious mind, 
would steer its course toward the physical realization, or, 
in this case the maintenance of, the ailment. Therefore in 
his affirmation, "Every day in every way I'm getting better 
and better," he avoided all mention of any specific ailments 
on the theory that if his patients got "better and better" 
their specific ailments also would get "better and better." 
He turned specifics into generalities and thereby avoided 
them. Ostrich-like. 

Which brings us back to the ostrich with its 
head in the sand— and people who, ostrich-like, bend over 
to hide their heads in the sands of unreality, and thus make 
make irresistible targets to tempt a paddle-wielding Fate. 

It seems to me unrealistic to deny the existence 
of evil. Or unhappiness. Or suffering. Or trouble. To do 



229 



so is hiding our heads in the sand; we hide from no one 
and we escape from nothing. 

This is no book on religion. I do not propose 
to have here a struggle between Good and Evil— nor a 
confrontation between God and the Devil. 

I merely point out that evil and unhappiness 
and suffering and trouble DO exist; that there is evidence 
of them all around us, and that this evidence is undeniable. 
We cannot escape by hiding our heads in the sands of un- 
reality nor can we make them less specific by generaliza- 
tions in the manner of Emile Coue. 

I, therefore, would like to suggest an alternate 
to the Coue approach of unspecific generalization. And 
not merely an alternate approach, but an opposite one: 

(1) Clearly recognize and frankly ADMIT 
the existence of whatever trouble comes to you. Face up 
to it! Define it specifically. Confront it precisely. 

(2) ACCEPT it! Not with defeatism and 
abject submission, but with the unflinching realism that 
it is so. There is no greater relief than the acceptance of 
reality. There is no greater torment than the futility of 
escapism. 

(3) Having realistically accepted trouble— 
which you have defined specifically, so that you can attack 
it precisely— ACT! You have a definite trouble. You do not 
have to approach it in a general manner. You can strike at 
its center, where the solution is. 

There you have the alternate to the ostrich 
escape from the reality of evil, unhappiness, suffering and 
the inevitable troubles that flesh is heir to. 



230 



You will not be immobilized, bent over, with 
your head, ostrich-like, stuck in the sand of escapism to 
present an irresistible target to the paddle of Fate. You will 
be on the move— and a moving target is harder to hit . . . 
even for Fate. 

Therefore, this call for action! 

The therapeutic and cybernetic values of 
specific, positive affirmation are multiplied many times 
when charged with the high voltage of direct action. 

To consciously seek the attitudinal guidance of 
your subconscious, provides you with a rocket, fully-pow- 
ered, and aimed directly at your goal. 

But you must have "Zi/f-Ojff '! 

You must act\ Act with bold confidence in the 
goal-seeking guidance-system which is a part of your sub- 
conscious mind. Act in the knowledge that whatever man 
can conceive and believe— man can achieve. 

So . . . seek no general "ostrich" cure; attack 
the specific cause, to surmount a specific difficulty. 

Know that in the doing, you will be given the 
powerl 

Then concentrate that power! 

And ... let all ostriches beware! 



231 



Chapter 53 



Include Yourself In 



Having been president of a national advertising 
agency and a nationwide public relations firm before I re- 
tired, I'd like to pass along, for your consideration and 
possible use, a technique of "image building" not gen- 
erally known by the public. 

It is called: "Including yourself in." 

It is applying the "we" attitude to yourself or 
your firm or group in association with "other leaders." Of 
course you must, in fact, be a leader of at least some con- 
sequence^ be worthy of consideration as a leader, to use 
the image-building technique of "including yourself in." 
Otherwise you will undermine your credibility, or even 
appear ridiculous. 

But there are many people, firms and groups 
who would be included in and accepted by a group to 
which they deservedly could belong if they would always 
"include themselves in" and always say "we" in referring 
to such a group. 



232 



Let me give you a few examples of this very 
rewarding technique— starting with business firms. In our 
advertising and public relations work, we had various 
clients who were, at first, not considered to be among the 
leaders in their respective fields. 

So in their advertising, publicity, and in their 
statements and actions, they "included themselves in" the 
next highest status bracket until they were accepted at the 
very top— if not for size, then for quality, or some other 
leadership "image". 

Among the many techniques which can be 
used to "include yourself in" is the use of the word "we" 
to associate yourself in the public mind with well-known, 
fully-accepted leaders. Frequently assert: "As one of the 
leaders in this industry, we must share the responsibility 
for . . ." Or: "As a leader in this field, we are proud of 
the accomplishments which have been achieved in . . ." 
Or: "We know we cannot maintain our position of leader- 
ship in quality craftsmanship unless we continue to . . ." 

In using this "include yourself in" technique, 
the meaning you give the word "we" is extremely impor- 
tant. For example, Negroes, in asserting racial equality, 
lose the opportunity to express integrated equality when- 
ever they say: "we", meaning: "we, Negroes", when they 
should, in asserting racial equality, say: "we, citizens" 
. . . "we, parents" . . . "we, taxpayers" . . . "we, uni- 
versity graduates" . . . "we, Americans". By "including 
themselves in" integrated groups to which they certainly 
belong, they would stop emphasizing their differences 



233 



and establish their similarity. Similarity is the road to 
acceptance. It "includes you in". 

The technique, then, is to find similarities with 
the group with which you want to be identified, then use 
the inclusive word: "we" in describing yourself as a part 
of that group. 

How others regard you— the "image" they have 
of you— is largely under your own control. "Image-build- 
ing" is well worth the thought, planning and continuous 
effort it requires. Others will respect you and respond to 
you in direct accordance with the "image" you have built 
of yourself in their minds. Thus you, yourself, determine 
how others will treat you— for better or for worse. 

Perhaps the most rewarding time you can spend 
is in deciding what you want to "be" in the judgment of 
others, giving full consideration to the consequences 
which will result. Then do whatever it takes to be indis- 
putably that, being sure to "include yourself in" those 
groups, the accepted membership in which will establish 
your "image". 

Do it conscientiously, do it honestly, do it well, 
and the "image" which you build will be real. It will be 
YOU! 



234 



Chapter 54 



Smile... ANYHOW!!! 



You probably have heard the story of the 
woman who was beset with annoyances, problems and 
troubles. So she lettered a sign reading: "Smile!" and 
fastened it to her bathroom mirror as a reminder. How- 
ever, she still was beset with annoyances, problems and 
troubles, so she took down the sign reading: "Smile!"— 
and replaced it with a sign reading: "Smile . . . ANY- 
HOW!!!" 

No one is immune to annoyances, problems 
and troubles. They are a part of life and, while we may 
not enjoy them, they do keep life from being a dull routine. 
Just think how boring it would be to sit in a rocking chair 
and eat chocolate ice cream all day! 

Fortunately for each of us, there is more to 
life than a rocking chair and ice cream existence. Irrita- 
tions with which to cope, problems to be solved, obstacles 
to be overcome, challenges to be met— all act as stimulants, 



235 



and if we don t find life stimulating, we shall not find it 
interesting. 

Psychologists have offered various suggestions 
to get us "part of the action", as the current expression 
goes. 

One psychologist prescribes: "Always have a 
fight on!" He emphasizes that the fight should be for a 
worthy cause, or against injustice, poverty, disease. I have 
a friend who is a retired sales manager. His fight is for 
the conservation of this nation s natural resources and wild- 
life. He is devoting his retirement and his considerable 
talent to fighting for a worthy cause. He eagerly takes on 
all comers— including me! While I agree with and en- 
courage almost all of his conservation activities, I once 
wrote him, disagreeing with a statement he had made in 
one of his national newsletters, which he finances pri- 
vately. He promptly published, with my permission, my 
two-page, fully-documented letter of criticism! Think he 
finds life dull? He always has a fight on! He likes problemsl 
He can "Smile . . . ANYHOW!!!" 

To meet the annoyances and problems of life 
and "Smile . . . ANYHOW!!!", psychologists prescribe: 
"Grapple!" There is a chapter on "Grapple" in this book 
(Chapter 40) which I suggest you re-read in full, so I shall 
only briefly review it here. Mental and emotional illness 
is caused by the overwhelming accumulation of unsolved 
problems. To prevent excess anxiety, avoid this accumula- 
tion of problems by meeting each problem as it arises and 
enthusiastically grappling with it until you reach a satis- 
factory solution. (Note: I said: "satisfactory solution", not 



236 



"the one, best, perfect solution*'.) It requires as much 
energy to try to escape from a problem as it does to grapple 
with it and solve it. So take the psychologists* advice and 
solve your problems by enthusiastically grappling with 
them. 

Then, when you have a problem, you can 
"Smile . . . ANYHOW!!!" 

That is the key to enjoying life, even with its 
daily quota of irritations and problems. Smile . . . ANY- 
HOW!!! Anybody can smile when everything goes right 
—the secret is to be able to smile when everything goes 
wrong. You, like all the rest of us, are going to have your 
share of annoyances, problems and troubles— so you might 
just as well decide to take them in your stride and smile 
at them as unwelcome, but inevitable, visitors. It isn*t 
what happens, but how you feel about what happens, that 
really counts. And you can control your feeling. 

According to the eminent authority, William 
James, you can control your feeling by acting the way you 
want to feel. So if you want to feel happier— smile! Even 
if you don't have a reason to smile— "Smile . . . ANY- 

Hownr 

And since a fair share of your life, like all lives, 
will be made up of annoyances, problems and troubles, do 
what the wise woman at the beginning of this chapter did. 
Take down your reminder sign which reads: "Smile!"— 
and realistically replace it with a sign which reminds you 
to: "Smile . . . ANYHOW!!!" 



237 



Chapter 55 



How To Be A Billionaire 



It is the serious purpose of this chapter to tell 
you how to make a BILLION dollars. Now that sounds 
like a lot of money. And it is. Specifically it is 1,000 million 
dollars. 

The only sure way to learn how to make a 
billion dollars is to learn from a billionaire. There is no 
point in taking advice from someone who hasn't done it. 

The following instructions on how to make a 
billion dollars come from J. Paul Getty whose assets 
exceed one and one-half billion dollars (more than 1,500 
millionaires). 

I witnessed an interview with billionaire J. 
Paul Getty during which he was asked the secret of his 
success. Here is his billion-dollar secret in two words: 

"TRY HARDER!" 

That's it. Just TRY HARDER. If that seems 
too simple, think it through to its ultimate conclusion. 



238 



First you try harder . . . and then you try 
harder than that . . . and you try harder than that . . . 
then try harder than that . . . and so you pyramid your 
efforts and you pyramid your gains. 

Compounded effort is like compound interest- 
it expands at a terrific rate. Pyramiding your efforts is 
like pyramiding your profits—the acceleration in your gains 
is enormous and the total result . . . well, Paul Getty 
made one and one-half billion dollars! 

His method: TRY HARDER! 

I happen to have devoted my life to studying 
success techniques. I have three personal libraries of 
books explaining how to be successful. I have documented 
the success methods of all the most successful men and 
women in the world. I have fifteen private files of more 
than 1,000 proven success methods. I have recorded these 
success methods in a series of books which are sold 
separately but which, together, comprise the complete 
Proven Success Methods Library described on the back of 
this book's jacket. My purpose has been to enable everyone 
to achieve success whatever his or her present situation. 

Now along comes a billionaire who tells how 
to succeed, in just two words: "TRY HARDER". 

The more I think about Paul Getty's advice, 
the more I like it as a life slogan . . . TRY HARDER. 



239 



Chapter 56 



GOODWILL Is Your SUCCESS 
INSURANCE 



You insure your life, health, income, property 
and just about everything valuable, the loss of which 
would be a disaster to you and your family. You wisely 
add insurance as necessary. 

But do you, just as prudently, acquire SUC- 
CESS INSURANCE? And do you constantly add to your 
SUCCESS INSURANCE? 

Success Insurance is usually called by a more 
familiar name . . . GOODWILL. 

Just because the concept of goodwill is famil- 
iar, do not pass it by lightly. Goodwill may be or may 
become one of your most valuable assets. In addition to 
its many other satisfactions, goodwill has a very high 
monetary value. In the sale or merger of businesses, their 
goodwill has a definite dollars-and-cents value which, in 
many transactions, amounts to millions of dollars. 



240 



In some businesses, goodwill is their greatest 
single asset. Many companies have been purchased for 
huge sums primarily to acquire the goodwill associated 
with their famous names or the popular brand names of 
their products. 

Individuals, of course, acquire goodwill, too, 
and it can have great monetary value. But the purpose 
of this chapter is to consider goodwill as your personal 
SUCCESS INSURANCE and, in this context, goodwill is 
not purchased but must be created by what you say, write 
or do. 

Remember those three words: "say, write or 
do" because they will be the basis of a simple test which 
will guide you in creating the personal SUCCESS IN- 
SURANCE of goodwill. 

First, to assure you of the importance and 
value of this test, I want to relate my own experience 
with it. Having retired at fifty, after a business career 
which included being president of eight corporations, I 
have devoted some of my retirement to analyzing the 
causes of my successes and failures, to provide some first- 
hand material to be included in a compact library of 
Success Books which I am writing. 

My post-analysis revealed that what I did right 
and what I did wrong, in almost every instance, was sub- 
stantially determined by whether I succeeded or failed to 
meet the requirements of this simple test; although, unfor- 
tunately, I did not know about this test, as such, at the 
time. I wish I had. 



241 



Any test which has so much to do with success 
or failure— and which, if used, will insure your success- 
should have your most careful consideration. I am empha- 
sizing the word "insure" because insurance presupposes 
the existence of other elements and factors; therefore, 
other ingredients of success must also be present— but, if 
they are, this test will provide the insurance factor. 

Here is your SUCCESS INSURANCE test: 

( 1 ) In dealing with others, do not say, write 
or do anything until you have asked yourself this simple 
question: "Will what I am about to say, write or do- 
create goodwill or incur ill will?" 

(2) If you can answer with asssurance that 
what you are about to say, write or do, will create goodwill 
(and the other necessary success factors also are present), 
doit. 

(3) But if you thoughtfully conclude that 
what you are about to say, write or do, will incur ill will 
(no matter how clever, expedient or even "justified" it 
may be) . . . do not do it. 

It is difficult to resist being clever, or doing 
what is expedient, or responding in kind to an insult, or 
unnecessarily proving that you are right or are smarter 
than some other person, or doing so many of the self- 
satisfying things which injure the precious ego of another 
to please or even placate your own ego. But it is much 
more difficult for you to overcome the immediate or future 
damage of the ill will which you thus incur. 

It is a sinister characteristic of ill will to seem 
innocuous at its inception only to escalate to major pro- 



portions as it becomes emotionalized by repeated review- 
ing. Make it a rule: never incur ill will. Your own ego 
satisfaction just isn't worth it. 

Now let's consider the SUCCESS INSUR- 
ANCE of GOODWILL. This is goodwill which you, your- 
self, must create in your relations with others. It requires 
thought, effort and often the expenditure of some of your 
money. Obtaining the goodwill of others does not just 
happen. It is the direct result of something you say, write 
or do deliberately to create their goodwill toward you. 
It seldom is spontaneous. Your SUCCESS INSURANCE 
must be planned as carefully as you plan your other 
insurance. 

That is because drawing the goodwill of others 
toward you is the result of your giving others a bonus, of 
your giving them something extra— something which they 
want— which is neither required nor expected, but which 
you give freely, willingly, graciously. And it must be 
clear that you expect nothing in return but their goodwill. 

That is the key! Give something extra— a bonus 
—to others, which they have no right to require or even 
to expect, and for which it is clear you want nothing in 
return except goodwill. 

Naturally, the something extra— the bonus— 
you give others must be something they want or it will be 
worse than valueless in terms of building goodwill. 

So, how can you be sure that you are giving 
others a bonus of what they want? Well, we return again 
to those three invisible signs everybody wears across his 
or her chest: 



243 



(1)1 want to be IMPORTANT. 

(2) I want to be ADMIRED. 

(3)1 want to be APPRECIATED. 

If in dealing with others, whatever you say, 
write or do, gives others an extra feeling of deserved 
importance, an extra satisfaction of being genuinely ad- 
mired, a bonus of sincere appreciation, substantially ex- 
ceeding that which could be required or even expected— 
then you can be sure that you have added to their goodwill 
toward you and thus have added to your SUCCESS IN- 
SURANCE. 

How, specifically, can you do this? What 
other ways are there to create goodwill? How much 
thought, time, effort and money should you devote to 
creating goodwill, acquiring SUCCESS INSURANCE? 

Each person's situation is different. You are 
in a better position to answer these questions for yourself 
than I am. And, anyway, the purpose of this book is to 
start you into channels of rewarding thoughts— not to do 
your thinking for you, even if I could, and I cannot. 

But I can conceive of no more rewarding 
"THOUGHTS TO BUILD ON" than for you to plan 
exactly how you will create more goodwill in each and 
every present and future personal relationship . . . and 
thereby insure your success in life. 



244 



Chapter 57 



Use Your NOTHING COMPUTER 



A very valuable computer has just been dis- 
covered! 

This valuable computer has been discovered 
inside YOU! 

It is called the NOTHING COMPUTER. 

It is called the NOTHING COMPUTER be- 
cause it does absolutely nothing about whatever problems 
are fed into it. You just feed into your NOTHING COM- 
PUTER all of your problems, anxieties, fears, resent- 
ments, and all the other unpleasantness about which you 
cannot do anything constructive— you assign them to your 
NOTHING COMPUTER and let it do the unnecessary 
worrying for you— while you devote your constructive 
thought and effort to worthwhile accomplishments. 

Most of us are partially immobilized by the 
memories of our mistakes in countless yesterdays. Yet we 
cannot re-live the past. So why bear these additional 
burdens? Put them into your NOTHING COMPUTER. 



245 



Let go of them. Let your NOTHING COMPUTER handle 
your remorse and regrets. 

Many of us live in anxiety and sometimes panic 
concerning the future. Yet we cannot see beyond the hands 
of today's clock. So why burden yourself with imagined 
events which have not even occurred, may never happen, 
and cannot be dealt with before their time? Put them into 
your NOTHING COMPUTER. And leave them there. 

Sufficient unto each day are the tasks thereof. 
We have enough difficulty with today's tasks, without 
adding the remorse of the past and the anxiety of the 
future. So irrevocably put your past regrets and future 
worries into your NOTHING COMPUTER-and they 
will not return to disturb you, because your NOTHING 
COMPUTER will keep them locked inside, while dili- 
gently working on them by doing . . . nothing! 

Anything which would disturb, annoy, worry 
or burden you— and which you cannot, should not, or do 
not choose to do anything about, should be turned over to 
your NOTHING COMPUTER with the feeling of relief 
that you have entirely disposed of that annoyance. 

Remember, annoyances will not go away of 
their own accord. You have to do something to dispose 
of them. The conclusive way to dispose of them is to 
assign them to your NOTHING COMPUTER. 

A few examples: 

Unlike Will Rogers, who claimed he never met 
a man he did not like, I have met people whom, for valid 
reasons, I did not like. But their continued existence on 
this same planet does not disturb me in the least. You see, 



246 



I have assigned them to my NOTHING COMPUTER. 
And . . . good riddance! 

There was a man who had a constantly com- 
plaining wife. Yet he was serenely undisturbed by her 
petty complaints; they never reached his consciousness be- 
cause he sent them directly to his NOTHING COM- 
PUTER. 

There was a wife whose husband had a quick 
temper. She did not over-react to his brief anger and thus 
precipitate a shouting match resulting in mutually hurt 
feelings. She simply assigned his temper tantrums to her 
NOTHING COMPUTER. Since he could not argue with 
nothing and found himself threshing around in an emo- 
tional vacuum, he learned to feed the various causes of 
his irritability into his own NOTHING COMPUTER and 
thus had nothing to be angry about. 

A NOTHING COMPUTER is simply an amus- 
ing, imaginary device for accomplishing what psychiatrists 
call * catharsis" (which, in common parlance, means "get- 
ting rid of undesirable thoughts and feelings" ), and a 
NOTHING COMPUTER also provides the means of 
mentally and emotionally "blanking out" undesirable 
thoughts and feelings so that they do not make a conscious, 
much less a subconscious, impression on you. 

To be able to eliminate all mental-emotional 
reactions to undesirable thoughts and feelings is a state of 
perfection constantly to be sought. In the meantime, at 
least discipline yourself not to over-react in any situation. 

OVER-REACTING will get you into serious 
trouble— fast! Serious trouble cannot be handled by your 



Ml 



useful, amusing, imaginary NOTHING COMPUTER. But 
serious trouble can be handled calmly, intelligently by 
RESTRAINING OVER-REACTION. 

In addition to the professional warnings of 
psychiatrists, psychologists, personality counselors and 
many others concerned with personal problems, there are 
numerous homespun admonitions against over-reacting 
which have come down through the years, such as: 

"Don't burn down the barn to kill the rats." 

"Don't put out a small fire with a big bucket 
of water." 

And, we might include a more modern one for 
college rioters, "Don't close the college to spite the School 
Board." 

OVER-REACTION in ANGER probably will 
hurt you emotionally more than the enemy you surely 
will make. By pouring the gasoline of over-reaction in 
anger on the temporary flickering flames of displeasure, 
you start an inferno of hate which escalates with each 
additional bucket of gasoline. And, you make conciliation 
more difficult, if not impossible. Your anger will continue 
to burn long after your target has shrugged you off as an 
undisciplined, uncontrolled hot-head. 

OVER-REACTION in GRIEF cuts even deep- 
er into the emotional wound and sets up a complex net- 
work of deep memory patterns which are so sensitive that 
even unrelated future events trigger renewed sorrow. 
Since grief is the reaction to an irreplaceable loss, OVER- 
REACTION in GRIEF cannot replace the loss, but serves 



248 



only to escalate the pain of sorrow, providing neither 
comfort nor consolation. 

OVER-REACTION in JOY seems to be a sort 
of super-happy experience which constructively accents 
the positive in contrast to the negative impact and damag- 
ing results of over-reacting in anger and grief. It has been 
recommended by such philosophical statements as, "When 
once the cup of pleasure is to your lips, drink it to the 
dregs; it may not come again." Yet it is wise not to over- 
react even to joy because as Longfellow said, "Not enjoy- 
ment and not sorrow is our destined end or way." So do as 
Kipling advised: "Meet with triumph and disaster and treat 
those two imposters just the same." Only by such even- 
handedness can you maintain psychiatrist Dr. Karl Men- 
ningers requirement of "Vital Balance." 

The wise men insistently are telling us that 
the pendulum of Life swings back and forth. And, the 
psychiatrists say that our reactions determine both ex- 
tremes of its arc. The pleasure-pain graph-line of Life 
goes up and down, but we may control its peaks and 
valleys by the extent of our reaction or over-reaction to 
the direction of its movement. 

We should curb OVER-REACTION and ex- 
tremism in any direction— and seek, instead, psychiatrist 
Dr. Karl Menninger's "Vital Balance" as a way to equanim- 
ity—for only in calmness and serenity will we find peace 
of mind. 



249 



Chapter 58 



Permissiveness Makes Slobs 



The permissive persuaders have had their say. 

Now it's time someone spoke up for discipline. 
Physical discipline. Mental discipline. Moral discipline. 

Start with physical discipline. I cannot think 
of any noteworthy physical accomplishment which has 
been achieved without physical discipline. Ask any ath- 
lete. Better still, ask any champion. Only the most constant 
discipline can produce the physique, the stamina, the co- 
ordination—the complete physical ability— to be a cham- 
pion. 

But you don't aspire to be a champion? Then 
choose your niche. The choice is up to you. Depending 
on how soon in life you start, you can attain whatever 
physical perfection your remaining years allow— or through 
physical permissiveness, hit skid row. Or, choose any 
degree of physical fitness in between. 

It's simply a matter of physical discipline- 
based on information. The facts of physical fitness are 



250 



simple and easy to learn. So it is really a matter of doing 
what you must do and not doing what you must not do. 
That's discipline. It's not always fun. Sometimes it's dis- 
agreeable. Sometimes it's just plain rough. But it pays off 
big in results. Much better than physical permissiveness. 
Because physical permissiveness will make you a slob. 

Even so, physical discipline is easier than 
mental discipline. Somehow it's harder to keep your mind 
under control than your body. That's because, in evolu- 
tion, man's body developed before his mind. ' In fact, man's 
mind hasn't developed very much yet. The day's news is 
ample evidence of that. 

There is a great excess of mental permissive- 
ness: mental wandering, aimless, uncontrolled, undisci- 
plined. 

Of course, there is a great deal of subconscious 
mental wandering during sleep. It is a phenomenon which 
should not be left to Freud. The opportunities for con- 
structive use of the time thus spent every night are too 
great. Research, to date, has accomplished too little. Yet 
the problem is so complex, we must leave it to the special- 
ists. 

However, there is much we can do about mental 
discipline during our waking hours. And there is much we 
need to do. For example, take concentration. Can you 
concentrate on just one simple, single thought without 
another thought interrupting for fifteen seconds? For 
thirty seconds? For a minute? Try it. 

Without the mental discipline of controlled 
concentration, we accomplish only a slight fraction of what 



251 



we could. Controlled concentration can be attained by 
anybody. It is a matter of mental discipline. Practice. 
Training. 

Even more important is our disciplined control 
of what we think. Because what we think determines sub- 
stantially what we are and specifically what we shall be- 
come. 

"As a man thinketh ... so is he", says the Bible. 

Buddha taught, "All that we are is the result 
of what we have thought." 

Throughout all great religions, throughout all 
significant philosophies, throughout the personal disci- 
plines of all great individuals, is the dominant assertion 
that each of us is or becomes the materialization of what 
he thinks. 

This process of being or becoming what we 
think, is accelerated by the intensity of our deeply believ- 
ing what we think. 

The Bible says, "ALL things are possible to 
him that believeth." That's a strong statement, but it comes 
from the Source of the possible— God. 

Study the miracle cures and you will find one 
cause— deep belief. Some day we shall discover that mir- 
acles are not miraculous at all— just happenings which we 
do not, at the time, understand. Miracles are caused, and 
the cause is deep belief. 

Study the lives of great men and women, and 
you will discover that underlying each great achievement 
was the immovable foundation of deep belief in their 
personal abilities, in their ultimate success. Psychologists 



252 



have proven that whatever the mind can conceive and 
believe—man can achieve. 

William James taught that: "BELIEF CRE- 
ATES THE ACTUAL FACT." He said, "In any project, 
the important factor is your belief. Without belief there 
can be no successful outcome. That is fundamental." 

Belief is the result of a disciplined mind. Only 
a disciplined mind can concentrate the intensity of belief 
into the white heat of a desire powerful enough to achieve 
its goal. So William James further taught: "If you only 
care enough for a result, you will almost certainly attain it. 
If you wish to be rich, you will be rich; if you wish to be 
learned, you will be learned; if you wish to be good, you 
will be good. Only you must, then, really wish these things, 
and wish them exclusively, and not wish at the same time 
a hundred other incompatible things just as strongly." 
Mental focus through mental discipline. 

Dr. Walter Scott, famous psychologist and 
President of Northwestern University, taught: "Success or 
failure in business is caused more by mental attitudes than 
by mental capacities." Mental attitudes are the result of 
mental discipline. 

The famous preacher-psychologist-writer, Dr. 
Norman Vincent Peale, says: "Think success, visualize 
success, and you will set in motion the power-force of the 
realizable wish. When the mental picture or attitude is 
strongly enough held, it actually seems to control condi- 
tions and circumstances." To hold a mental picture or 
attitude strongJLy enough requires mental discipline. 



253 



Finally, let's take our case for mental dis- 
cipline all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court. The deci- 
sion ... by the late Justice Cardozo: "We are what we 
believe we are." To believe deeply and constantly requires 
mental discipline. Case closed. 

Probably it is in the field of morals that the 
persuaders of permissiveness have most deeply damaged 
humanity. Their reasoning is so subtle and their teaching 
so appealing: "Be free! Turn on and do whatever you 
want to do! Tune out and ignore whatever you do not want 
to do! Disregard any moral discipline which limits your 
lust. Disobey any law with which you do not agree. Moral 
permissiveness will set you free!" 

Yes, permissiveness will make you free— as free 
as a truck loaded with explosives free-wheeling down a 
steep, winding mountain road . . . without brakes! 

And permissiveness will do something else 
for you. Permissiveness— physical, mental and moral per- 
missiveness— will make you a SLOB! 



254 



Chapter 59 



The Crystal Globe 



I would like to send a globe to each Great Man 
of each Great Nation. 

It would be a globe of the Earth. Except it 
would show no nations and no continents. Neither land 
nor sea. Only a clear, crystal globe— like a crystal ball- 
to place on his desk near the red push-button. 

Just something to look at ... as his finger toys 
with the little red push-button near by. Perhaps he will 
see in his crystal ball . . . 

Blossoms of babies, soft in their cribs. A tiny 
boy gaily pulling an even more tiny girl in a little red 
wagon. A group of youngsters giggling. And older teen- 
agers who have stopped giggling because of the seriousness 
of it all. A bride and groom in their great moment at the 
altar. Men at work, building, building— for what? Women, 
when their own day's work is done, waiting for their men 
to come home and take them in their arms. An old couple 
sitting side by side, holding hands as they did in their 



255 



yesterdays and silently praying that there will be more 
tomorrows. 

Perhaps each Great Man of each Great Nation 
will see these in his crystal ball, and then it will be clear 
crystal again. Merely a blank globe of the Earth ... no 
nations and no continents . . . neither land nor sea ... as 
his finger toys with the red push-button. 



256 



Chapter 60 



The Lesson Of The Butterfly 



I stood quietly in the field of new-mown hay 
and watched a beautiful butterfly as it fluttered frantically 
about . . . searching . . . seeking . . . wanting. 

Only yesterday the butterfly had found the 
flower. And it had become a very special flower to the 
butterfly. To be sought. To be near. To be gently caressed 
as only a beautiful butterfly can caress a lovely flower. 

But the flower had not been special to the 
mower. And it lay cut and wilting in the noonday sun, 
half-hidden in the cut grass. No longer lovely. 

Poor butterfly! Fluttering frantically about . . . 
searching . . . seeking . . . wanting. 

So we learn in life's hard school that the goals 
which we cherished yesterday meant nothing to life's 
mower today and we find them cut down and wilting 
among the cut grasses at our feet. 

But as the butterfly keeps searching . . . seeking 
. . . wanting ... it will find other lovelier flowers. 



257 



And so must we seek new and greater goals. 
For we shall find them if we seek, just as the butterfly will 
find more and lovelier flowers. 

As in the world of butterflies, there is an abun- 
dance of flowers— so in our own lives there is an abundance 
of goals, each with a greater reward than that which seemed 
so essential before life, with a wisdom we are not meant 
to understand, cut it down. 

It's life's way of keeping us ever searching . . . 
and seeking . . . and wanting. In so doing, we learn the 
purpose of the mower . . . which cuts down our yesterdays 
so that we may seek and find an even brighter tomorrow. 



258 



Chapter 61 



Which Way Do You Lean? 



In a vocabulary of larger words, I would have 
to say this is a chapter about predisposition. But by prefer- 
ence, Td like to write a bit about leaning, which is a 
simpler way of saying it. 

You see, leaning is important— the direction in 
which you lean, that is. Not north nor south nor east nor 
west, but depending upon the direction from which comes 
each storm of life. 

Always lean into the storms of life. Lean to- 
ward danger— never away from it. 

There are those who will tell you to lean with 
life's winds so their forces will not break you. Give way, 
they say. Bend with the forces, even to lying prone, and 
let the storms of life pass over you to seek more hardy 
victims. Then, when all is calm again, you can struggle to 
your feet and brush your clothes— and smile smugly to 
yourself, reassured that you haven't been hurt. 



259 



You haven't been hurt? Well, for one thing, 
your character has been hurt! And that mysterious thing 
inside you, known as your subconscious, has been predis- 
posed to bending with each blow, to giving way to each 
force, even to lying down in the hope that danger will 
pass over you to seek out someone else. 

And that first time you gave way in the face 
of life's storm, you judged yourself, and sealed the verdict 
deep inside you— that you were a coward. Then the next 
time and the next, you knew which way you would lean. 
The same way always: away from danger. 

This leaning away, this allowing yourself to 
bend with each passing storm of life— what does it matter? 
Can you not stand straight again when the danger is past? 
Well, not exactly straight, because, you see, your character 
will be bent. 

This results in more than just a sense of inner 
insecurity, of anxious anticipation of the next storm to lean 
away from. It brands you. Then everyone will know which 
way you will lean in danger. It will show in your eyes— 
and in your attitudes. Yes, people will know and judge 
and respond to how you will lean. 

A Chinese sage of long ago said wisely, "Every- 
body pushes a falling fence , \ 

And so they do. In derision, I suppose, because 
the falling fence leans away from whatever pushed it. 
Ready to lean some more whenever it is pushed again. 
Like some people! 

Those who have watched a herd of animals 
can easily tell the leader. Animals can sense impending 



260 



danger and always, without the slightest hesitation, the 
leader of the herd moves toward the danger. Or he would 
no longer be accepted as leader. He is instinctively pre- 
disposed to place himself between the herd and danger. 
He leans toward danger. Therefore, he is the unquestioned 
leader. 

That is the mark of a leader of people. When 
all the debate is finished, when all the other tests have been 
given, there is just one final test which, in the end, deter- 
mines the ultimate decision: Are you, by instinct— or even 
better, by training— predisposed to always, without the 
slightest hestitation, place yourself between your people 
and danger? When the storms of life reach the force to 
push you around, do you resolutely lean into every storm— 
and stand firm? 

That is the ultimate mark of leadership. 

That is the ultimate test of your quality as a 
person. 



261 



Chapter 62 



You Can Live Twice 



Sir Christopher Wren lived in the seventeenth 
century. 

In fact, he lived TWICE in the seventeenth 
century! 

His first life consisted of growing up, getting 
a good education and being a professor of astronomy at 
Gresham College and Oxford. That first life lasted forty- 
eight years. Then he decided 'lie had done that" and there 
wasn't any particular point in continued repetition. 

So he decided he would live a new and entirely 
different life. He decided that instead of being an astron- 
omer and just looking at a distant heaven, he would bring 
Heaven down to earth by building beautiful churches and 
majestic cathedrals. 

After his first life of forty-eight years as a schol- 
ar and teacher, Sir Christopher Wren devoted a second 
life of forty-one years to building fifty-three churches and 
cathedrals of such beauty and grandeur that they stand 



262 



as monuments to his greatness. He designed and super- 
vised the building of the magnificent St. Paul's Cathedral 
in London for which he will be forever famous. 

Of course, you can be prosaic about it and say 
Sir Christopher merely changed professions. But I like to 
think of him as living a different and second life. Like the 
man James Whitcomb Riley wrote about, who said that 
now that he had lived his full three score and ten, he had 
finally got the hang of living and therefore proposed to do 
it over again—only do it better. 

So, Sir Christopher Wren really lived a second 
and different life— and lived it better. 

This is not unusual. Lots of people have done 
it. I mention it only to point up the wisdom in the advice 
one hears more and more these days: "DON'T GET 
STUCK WITH THE PRESENT!" 

There was a man who lived four different 
lives! His name was Dr. Albert Schweitzer. As a Doctor 
of Philosophy he was the author of many learned books. 
A fulfilling life in itself! 

Then he sought a new life in religion. He 
studied theology and earned a Doctor's degree in that 
subject. He became Curate of St. Nicholas Church in 
Strasbourg and there began a different and second life. 

But even two rewarding lives were not enough 
for Dr. Schweitzer. He loved beautiful music, so he studied 
it, mastered it, and earned a Doctor's degree in music. 
He went on to become one of the greatest concert organists 
of all time! 



Having achieved fame and acclaim in his life 
of music, Dr. Schweitzer felt a compelling desire to min- 
ister to the poor and the sick savages of the jungles of 
Africa. So he began to study to be a physician and surgeon. 
Finally he earned his fourth Doctor's degree, this time in 
medicine. He gave up his life of fame and acclaim as a 
great concert organist to begin a fourth and totally different 
life in Lamborene, in steaming, tropical Africa, where his 
small group made a clearing in a giant forest infested with 
danger: pythons, gorillas, crocodiles, wild savages. There 
he built his "hospital" and lived the life he most wanted 
to live. There he found the divine greatness of a life based 
on the eternal lesson: "It is more blessed to give than to 
receive/' 

Most people live only one life and many have 
a difficult time making a success of that. Certainly it is 
better to continue doing what you do best and what 
brings the greatest good to others as well as to yourself. 
Change for the sake of change brings more frustration than 
happiness. 

But neither do you have to give your allotted 
years to a life of dullness and mediocrity. In that case, 
you will do better to start all over again and live another 
and different life. 

Just remember, you don t have to be "STUCK 
WITH THE PRESENT". 



264 



Chapter 63 



Bad Temper Is Worse Than Bad 
Fortune 



With good humor and a pleasant disposition 
you can conquer misfortune. But a bad temper and a 
nasty disposition will conquer you. A bad temper will 
make life a hell for you and all those around you. 

There must be something very damaging about 
a bad temper because so many famous thinkers have 
made a special point of warning about it. 

A bad temper will hurt you far more than it 
will hurt those at whom it is directed, as the English author, 
Charles Buxton warns, "Bad temper is its own scourge. 
Few things are more bitter than to feel bitter. A man's 
venom poisons himself more than his victim." 

Or, as Bishop Richard Cumberland said, "Of 
all bad things by which mankind are cursed, their own 
bad tempers surely are the worst." Now, a Bishop has 
made ample study of "all bad things by which mankind 



265 



are cursed." It is in the nature of the clergy's service to 
mankind, to consider the many ills that flesh is heir to, 
and to provide such alleviation or solace as is within the 
province of religion. Having thoughtfully considered the 
curses of mankind, Bishop Cumberland concluded that 
"their own bad tempers surely are the worst." 

He is joined by other great thinkers of the 
Faith. The forthright Irish clergyman, Robert Clayton, 
stated bluntly, "If religion does nothing for your temper, 
it has done nothing for your soul." 

And the English clergyman, Richard Cecil, 
added this advice, "If a man has a quarrelsome temper, let 
him alone." Which Dale Carnegie said another way when 
he wrote, "Never get into a squirting match with a skunk." 

So if you want to feel lonely, if you want to 
be avoided and shunned, just develop and display a bad 
temper. Your instant success in the field of loneliness will 
be assured. 

But your success will be limited to achieving 
loneliness; your bad temper will not make you welcome 
in the business world, for as the Earl of Chesterfield said, 
"A man who cannot command his temper should not think 
of being a man of business." To which we can add the 
advice of author Charles Cherbuliez, "Men who have 
had a great deal of experience learn not to lose their 
tempers." 

What would you pay to learn the secret of 
finding happiness and avoiding misery? Well, you don't 
have to pay anything, and it isn't a secret, either. It was 
clearly stated way back in the seventeenth century by 



266 



Francois Rochefoucauld, "The happiness and misery of 
people depend on their tempers." And re-stated by the 
English philosopher, Earl of Shaftebury, "From temper 
only, a man may be completely miserable, let his outward 
circumstances be ever so fortunate." 

Having quoted an English philosopher on the 
subject of temper, let's see what a German philosopher had 
to say. The famed Friedrich Nietzsche wrote, "The growth 
of wisdom may be gauged accurately by the decline of 
ill temper." And the wise Chinese philosopher, Lao-tse, 
listed gentleness as the first quality of greatness. 

If we haven't the wisdom and the will power 
to get rid of our bad tempers and all the woes which 
accompany them, perhaps we will grow more agreeable 
as we grow older. "Not so!," says the American author, 
Washington Irving, "A tart temper never mellows with 
age; and a sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows 
keener with constant use." 

Mellowing with age may apply to wine, but 
if we expect it to apply to people— especially people who 
persist in indulging their bad tempers— we are in for a rude 
awakening. Aging does not reverse our personality charac- 
teristics—it intensifies and hardens them. This is especially 
true of bad tempers and irritable dispositions. 

This is due to the psychological fact that the 
display of bad temper is an emotional habit and must be 
treated and cured as a habit. As Dr. Karl A. Menninger, 
one of America's foremost psychiatrists, points out in his 
excellent book, "The Human Mind", the display of bad 
temper is an infantile reaction carried over into adolescence 



267 



and adult life. Originally venting temper was used as a 
means of obtaining an objective; later the bad temper was 
retained, not so much to attain minor objectives, which 
could not likely be obtained by this method, but because 
bad temper had become an emotional habit or pattern. 

Dr. Menninger adds that the bad temper habit, 
with increased irascibility and irritability, may be activated 
by the drinkng of alcoholic beverages. So if you have a 
bad temper and a tendency to become irascible and irrit- 
able, don't think that a few drinks will make you a genial 
companion. 

But bad temper is just one side of the coin. 
The other side is good temper— and there is just as much 
good in good temper as there is bad in bad temper. So let 
us go to the wise men and again ponder their thoughts. ' 

We'll find a lot of encouragement in the words 
of the distinguished English author, Sir Arthur Helps, 
"More than half the difficulties of the world would be 
allayed or removed by the exhibition of good temper/' 
If Sir Arthur had lived a century later and had witnessed 
the virulent, ill tempered denunciations which are routine 
at the United Nations, he would have insisted that his 
words be emblazoned in the assembly room. 

Are you sick? Afflicted? Deformed? Or do 
you know anyone who is? Then listen to Joseph Addison, 
the English essayist, "A cheerful temper will lighten sick- 
ness and affliction, and render deformity itself agreeable/' 

Ladies, as you grow older, how much face 
cream do you use? Frankly, I think wrinkles are greatly 
to be admired— especially if they are the lines of fine 



268 



character and personality. But, having been unble to con- 
vince any woman or any cosmetic manufacturer, I shall 
offer an alternate solution. It comes from Tatler and says, 
"Good humor and complacency of temper outlive all 
charms of a fine face and make the decays of it invisible/' 
So there you have the ultimate in wrinkle-vanishing-creme! 

And now . . . one final and happy thought . . . 
from author Washington Irving, "Good temper, like a 
sunny day, sheds brightness over everything!" 

Let there be bright! 



269 



Chapter 64 



When Everything Else Fails . . . 



Here is a sure-cure for just about everything 
that ails you: failure, worry, discouragement, all psycho- 
somatic illnesses, poverty— you name it— and this remedy 
will cure it! 

What's more, it will cure your troubles even 
when everything else fails— especially when everything else 
fails! And this sure-cure always is ready for your instant 
use. It has helped so many millions of users, you at least 
ought to try it yourself . . . 

When everything else fails . . . TRY HARD 
WORK! 

Let's look at some examples. Let's start with 
failure. Not just any failure, but the man who failed more 
than anyone else in the world. 

His name was Thomas Edison. He failed more 
than anyone else, because he tried more than anyone else, 
so naturally, he knew more things that wouldn't work. 
With that kind of information, he could (by working 18 



270 



hours a day) eventually find what would work, so he 
succeeded more than anyone else. In fact, he succeeded 
so well that he patented 1,093 inventions. 

He said that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% 
perspiration— and he provided the perspiration by working 
18 hours a day. He worked ten years to invent the nickel- 
iron-alkaline storage battery. He and his staff tested and 
classified 17,000 varieties of plants before they succeeded 
in extracting latex in substantial quantities from just one 
of them. 

Would you be willing to work 18 hours a day 
and fail 17,000 times before you succeeded once? Maybe 
you aren't failing often enough— or working hard enough! 

Are you providing the necessary 99% perspira- 
tion? There is no record of anyone being drowned in 
sweat. 

But you can drown your worries in sweat! As 
a matter of fact, hard work is a sure cure for worry. It 
cures worry in three ways: 

(1) If you work hard enough and concen- 
trate exclusively on the job at hand, you will have neither 
time nor thought for worry. 

(2) If you work hard enough, you 11 go to 
bed and go to sleep, too tired to stay awake and worry. 

(3) If you work hard enough and intelligently 
enough, you 11 solve your problems so you won t have 
anything to worry about. 

Are you discouraged? When everything else 
fails . . . TRY HARD WORK! Idle bodies and idle minds 



271 



create a vacuum which discouragement is all too ready 
to fill. 

There was a man who sat around doing nothing 
except worrying about his problems. The more he worried 
about them, the more discouraged he became, until finally 
he decided to commit suicide. 

He didn't want his family and friends to know 
that he was a quitter and had "chickened out" on the 
problems of life, so he decided he would cause a natural 
heart attack by running around the block until he dropped 
dead. 

So he started running . . . and he ran . . . and 
ran. The longer he ran, the more tired he got. In fact, 
he became so completely exhausted that he couldn't feel 
anything but sheer exhaustion. All he could think about 
was going to bed— which he did. He spent twelve hours 
in dreamless, perfectly relaxed sleep. And he awoke re- 
freshed, feeling great, rarin' to take on any problem which 
dared challenge him! 

But suppose you're ill. You hurt here and you 
hurt there, or you have this symptom or that. You really do. 
There's nothing imaginary about it. Even if your doctor 
cant find any physical cause. That simply means your 
illness is psychosomatic (mentally-emotionally caused, in- 
stead of physical). More than 50% of all ailments are. 
Some doctors say 90%. Anyway, you are just as ill from 
psychosomatic causes— only the treatment is different. 
Your doctor can cure you, except in the few cases which 
need a specialist. Usually you can cure yourself. With your 
doctor's permission, of course, TRY HARD WORK! 



272 



This cure-all for just about whatever ails you, 
also is highly effective in curing poverty. Its curative pow- 
ers are recorded in many impressive testimonials. Let's 
consider a few cases of poor people: 

For example, poor Andrew Carnegie. What? 
Andrew Carnegie, poor? Why he was the greatest steel 
tycoon! He made so many millions he couldn't give his 
money away fast enough, even though he endowed free 
public libraries in cities all over this nation. Well, Andrew 
Carnegie was so poor he had to start work at $4.00 a month! 

Note the preceding words: "start work", for 
hard work was Carnegie's cure for his poverty— honest, 
concentrated, hard work. He said so himself: "Concen- 
tration is my motto— first honesty, then industry {hard 
work), then concentration". So as we seek to eliminate 
poverty, let us not overlook the advice of the man who 
started work at $4.00 a month and by honest, concentrated 
hard work became one of the richest of all. 

John D. Rockefeller, who later became one of 
the richest men in the world, started working for $6.00 a 
week. And Henry Ford started working for $2.50 a week. 
Their fortunes were the result of hard work— as almost all 
great fortunes are. 

I have devoted a lifetime to the study of suc- 
cess; not just financial success, but how people, under all 
sorts of conditions, were able to attain their goals in life. 
I have three personal libraries of books on the subject. 
So I can save your having to do a lot of research on success 
by assuring you that the only sure way to succeed is by 
hard work. 



273 



I write this with the full knowledge that the 
trend today is to try to get more and more money for less 
and less work. Certainly, I am for modernization, mechani- 
zation, automation and computerization. But these should 
produce more and better products and services at lower 
prices so that they may benefit more, and eventually all, 
people. To do this will require more work— not less work- 
by this generation and many generations to come. 

When more than half of the people in the 
world do not have even enough to eat, when most of the 
people of the world do not have any of the conveniences 
which a small percentage of us in the "affluent society" 
take for granted— we have a big job to do, and it is going 
to take hard work to do it, even with the use of our com- 
puterized automation. 

And we had better start now, not just for the 
good of humanity, but for our own good! Some day— soon 
—this drive to be paid more and more for working less and 
less is going to run head on into the Law of Diminishing 
Returns. When we price ourselves out of the world market, 
we will have priced our labor out of jobs and our industry 
out of business. Already foreign industry is producing 
many better products at much lower prices. Already our 
larger industries are building many more plants in foreign 
countries to utilize much lower priced foreign labor. And 
if some people think they have discovered a substitute for 
work, I want to leave them with this interesting thought . . . 

The LEADERS and those who will be the 
future leaders in this country ARE WORKING TWELVE 
TO SIXTEEN HOURS A DAY! 



274 



Chapter 65 



If You Would Control Others . . . 



This chapter contains a magic word which, if 
you use it constantly, will enable you to exert substantial 
control over others. Some of the principal advantages of 
this magic word are that its use by you will greatly elimi- 
nate in others the debilitating effects of personal discour- 
agement, disappointment, anxiety, depression and under- 
achievement. 

Also, it will eliminate those same unhappy, 
enervating feelings in yourself. 

The magic word which will make it possible 
for you to perform such miracles is . . . HOPE! 

You control people, through improving their 
total attitudes, when you give them hope. You lose your 
control over people— and lose your ability to help them— 
when you take away their hope. 

What a powerful force HOPE is! Yet most 
people do not realize it and few people, indeed, make the 
most effective use of hope. 



275 



The negative side— the lack of hope— is under- 
mining so many efforts which could be constructive that 
perhaps we should first consider some examples of what 
disastrous effects result from the lack or loss of hope. 

From the individual's standpoint, probably the 
most devastating result of the loss of sustaining hope is 
alcoholism or drug addiction. When an individual feels 
certain that all hope for the future is gone, he or she tries 
to eliminate such an intolerable, hopeless future by fleeing 
reality— which emphasizes how vital it is that there always 
must be held out hope of something desirable in life. Just 
so there is HOPE, the expectation of a more desirable 
future. 

Hope is so necessary that people will cling to 
the most improbable shred of it, rationalize it, even 
imagine it. 

Hope is equally necessary in the control of 
groups, as it is in the control of individuals. 

Let's consider the manipulation of hope in 
controlling the thinking, emotions and actions of the vari- 
ously assorted groups of the under-privileged, under- 
educated, under-employed. 

These groups' lack of hope of bettering their 
condition enables ambitious persons who would command 
positions of leadership among them to dramatize the 
groups' lack of hope. This is done individually, then in 
small meetings where emotions are stirred by emphasizing 
the unfairness of their past and present hopeless state, and 
finally in huge mass meetings where emotions are inflamed 



276 



and hatreds directed toward the real or suspected cause 
of their hopelessness. 

Demonstrations are organized to "call atten- 
tion" to past and present injustices and inequalities, to 
warn of the groups' new awareness and resentment of 
discrimination, and to express increasing hostility toward 
the sources of their past and present hopeless conditions. 

Finally, HOPE, emphasized by the emotionally- 
inflamed assurances of their leaders, becomes the motiva- 
tion to action ... to demands backed by threats and 
enforced by every hostile means from non-violent civil 
disturbance, disruption and disobedience ... to riots, 
arson, vandalism, looting, killing . . . even to open rebellion 
—depending upon the character of the group and its leaders. 

Such is the power of HOPE to provide the 
means of manipulating people— first, by dramatizing their 
lack of hope, then gradually offering increasing hope, and 
finally obtaining full control and motivation, even to the 
most extreme action, by assuring the fulfillment of hope. 

This is not to imply that the offering of hope 
to the hopeless is bad— although some of the organized 
disruptions and violent, anti-social methods are. Indeed, 
having shown that the motivational power of hope unfor- 
tunately can lead to ruthless extremes, I want to empha- 
size that HOPE IS ONE OF THE GREATEST BENE- 
FACTORS OF MANKIND. 

Without HOPE ... of some kind . . . for some- 
thing . . . somewhere . . . sometime — I doubt that the hu- 
man race could even continue to exist! Certainly, it would 
not progress. 



277 



There is no way to describe the scope and 
extent of hope, for hope is an essential ingredient of 
everything from a desired increase in pay ... to the 
spiritual longing for eternal fellowship with God. Hope 
is IN everything. There are those who say that hope IS 
everything! 

He who gives HOPE gives relief from discour- 
agement, anxiety and depression. That, alone, is reason 
enough to give HOPE. But, he who gives HOPE, also 
gives motivation to strive for the results hoped for. Hope 
breaks the bonds of inertia and starts people toward 
achievement. 

So, by all means, give HOPE to everyone who 
needs it! Give HOPE to all who need hope, giving it not 
as a means of exploiting them or organizing them for your 
selfish gains— but give HOPE to alleviate discouragement, 
anxiety and despair. Give HOPE to stimulate inspiration, 
to activate motivation and to spur achievement! 

Having considered the effects of HOPE on 
individuals and groups, let's explore the tremendous en- 
couragement of HOPE in the advancement of nations— 
and the dangers of lack of HOPE in international relations. 

A nation is like a person. A nation is like a 
group. In fact, a nation simply is a composition of individ- 
uals and groups— and it reacts in much the same manner to 
hope or the lack of it. If we would make another nation 
our friend, we must offer that nation hope of achieving 
its national objectives through its friendship with us. And 
we must do it convincingly. Unfortunately, our nation, 
which has developed the art of selling (of convincing) to 



278 



an exceptional degree, has been exceedingly unsuccessful 
in convincing other nations of its sincerity in providing 
them the hope— and, often to a substantial extent, the 
means— of attaining their national ambitions through their 
friendship with us. We need— desperately need— to do much 
better. Not by squandering our resources, but by estab- 
lishing our credibility. Our nation needs to prove, not only 
its sincerity, but its ability to help fulfill the HOPE, the 
aspirations, of friendly nations. 

And finally, what happens to a nation which 
loses HOPE? The same thing which happens to individ- 
uals and groups. Frustration! And frustration is a principal 
cause of aggression (see Chapter 12: "Frustration Causes 
Aggression"). If we are going to have less aggression— by 
nations, groups or individuals— then we are going to have 
to replace frustration with HOPE! 

You can start ... in your own life . . . and in 
your own way ... by using the magic of HOPE . . . now! 



279 



Chapter 66 



Make Progress ... Or Stand Aside 



This amazing life which each of us is privileged 
to live— is a life of many choices. Some of those choices 
determine the future course of our lives. 

One of those future-determining choices is: 
"MAKE PROGRESS ... or stand aside!" 

It wisely has been said through the centuries, 
"The world makes way for those who make progress/' 
So you have your choice of making progress or standing 
aside for those who do. Actually if you do not go forward, 
you not only must get out of the way of those who do, 
but you will fall behind farther and farther— into oblivion! 

One only need look at the process of evolution 
to see that this need to make continuous progress is a 
requirement of survival. All living things— plant and ani- 
mal—must first adjust to their environment, then improve 
(make progress) at a rate equal to, or preferably, better 
than, competing species. Otherwise they would be crowded 



280 



out or, in some competitive manner, be exterminated by 
more progressive species. Nature demands progress. 

Now let's change our. focus from the eons of 
development to examine only the most recent fragment of 
time in man's process of evolution. There are several meth- 
ods of doing this. 

One method is to read what the best thinkers 
throughout history have written concerning their observa- 
tions of progress— or the lack of it—as applied to their 
fellow men. In doing this, I have found agreement with 
the fact that the requirement to progress is a law of nature. 
Here are a few observations of the world's best thinkers: 

"The true law is progress and development. 
Whenever civilization pauses in the march of conquest, it 
is overthrown", wrote William Gilmore Simms, the Amer- 
ican author. 

"Progress is the law of life", wrote Robert 
Browning. 

"Nature knows no pause in progress and de- 
velopment, and attaches her curse on all inaction", wrote 
Goethe. 

There you have the thoughts on progress as 
observed by three great,, and very different, types of think- 
ers. You will find that the world's best thinkers agree with 
the idea that Goethe expressed best, "Nature knows no 
pause in progress and development." Here you have the 
often-restated concept that progress is a natural law. Then 
to continue Goethe's statement "(Nature) attaches her 
curse on all inaction." Or to restate it in the words of 
this chapter's heading, "Make progress . . . or stand aside." 



Only you cannot just stand aside for long, because the 
penalty for inaction is oblivion— "nature's curse," as Goethe 
put it. 

So we learn from nature's own law of evolution 
that we must either make progress or make way for those 
who do. 

And we find that this also has been the obser- 
vation of the great thinkers throughout history. 

Now let's make it personal. What has been your 
own appraisal of the people you know who have been 
successful? Haven't these successful people always stood 
for progress? Haven't they always had a "progressive 
image"? Certain words always have been associated with 
success. "Progress" is one of them. So if you want to 
attract attention, get promoted, get elected, get ahead . . . 
then get a reputation for making progress! 

How do you start making progress? There's a 
saying in the Navy that a Captain who waited until his 
ship was perfectly ready to go f:o sea, would never leave 
the dock. Progress is not perfection. Progress is moving 
forward. You don't have to be perfect. You do have to 
progress! 

The path of progress consists of stepstones 
built of ideas, one after the other, leading always forward 
toward a distant horizon beyond which we cannot see— 
except the bright glow of a destiny worthy of our trip. 

But suppose one of your stepstones is insecure 
—and you fall! You won't be the first to have fallen on 
the path of progress. Only the failures didn't get up. And 
the successes always fell forward ... so when they got 



282 



up they found that they had advanced by falling! That's 
one of the techniques of progress: FALL FORWARD! 

There are so many techniques for making 
progress that it would require an entire book just to list 
them. The rewards are so great that you should spare 
neither time nor effort in making yourself a symbol of 
progress wherever you go. 

The choice is yours now . . . either make 
progress— or make way for those who do. 

The world will not remember, nor highly pay, 
those who stand aside. 



283 



Chapter 67 



Stay In The Eye Of The Hurricane 



A hurricane is a system of terrific winds rotat- 
ing in a huge circle many miles in diameter. The force of 
the winds sometimes exceeds 100 miles an hour and results 
in great damage and destruction. With its accompanying 
deluge of rain, its flashing lightning and roaring thunder, 
a hurricane is a terrifying experience. 

Except . . . 

If you could stay in the center of the circle of 
whirling winds, in the "eye" of the hurricane, you would 
be in an area of great calm! And that is the point of this 
brief chapter. From time to time, you will experience the 
personal storms which are a natural— and, apparently, a 
necessary— part of each life. Sometimes these personal 
storms will be of hurricane velocity. They could destroy 
you physically, mentally, emotionally. 

Unless . . . 

Unless you can find the calm center of each 
personal storm— the "eye" of your own hurricane— and stay 



284 



there, secure in the knowledge that there always is— and 
always will be— a place of peace in each personal disaster, 
if you will but seek it in the trust that, in every misfortune, 
nature provides a haven equal to your faith. 

So in each personal hurricane in your life, do 
not panic. Stand firm in the center. Do not flee to the 
edges, because that's where the terrible winds are . . . 
and the thunder, the lightning, the deluge . . . and destruc- 
tion. 

There is danger and pain on the raw edge of 
trouble. Seek the center. For only in the center is there 
perfect stability, just as the exact center of a whirling 
wheel does not move. 

It takes courage and faith to go to the center 
of a hurricane— or a personal problem. 

But then it is only through courage and faith 
that we find calm and peace in a troubled world. 



285 



Chapter 68 



How Important Is It To You? 



There is an old fable concerning a dog that 
bragged about his speed as a runner. One day the dog 
chased a rabbit but failed to catch it. Other dogs made 
fun of him but he explained, "Remember the rabbit was 
running for his life, while I was running only for the fun 
of chasing him". 

In that fable you will find one of the most valu- 
able lessons for success in life. It simply is this: 

A key factor in success is how hard you really 
try. And how hard you try depends upon how important 
it is to you! 

In Chapter 55, titled: "How To Be A Billion- 
naire", I gave you billionaire J. Paul Getty's advice on 
how to do it: "TRY HARDER!" 

Well, how does one develop the personal drive 
to try harder? 

You'll find the key in one word: DESIRE. 



286 



And desire depends upon how important it is 
to you! 

In the fable just told, we learned that the 
dog did not catch the fleeing rabbit because the dog was 
merely chasing the rabbit for fun. Catching the rabbit was 
not important to the dog. But whether or not he got caught, 
was important to the rabbit! It was a matter of life or death! 

You could foretell the result. The rabbit tried 
harder! It was more important to him\ 

And you can sum it up in one word: DESIRE! 
Every achievement begins with desire. Have you thought- 
fully considered the power of desire? Do you know that 
desire will get you just about anything you want in life? 

William James, probably the greatest thinker 
of modern times, wrote: "If you only care enough for the 
result, you will almost certainly attain it. If you wish to be 
rich, you will be rich; if you wish to be learned, you will 
be learned; if you wish to be good, you will be good. Only 
you must really wish these things/' 

There's the secret of getting what you want! 
You must "care enough" . . . you must "really wish"! You 
must have desire! And it must be a white-hot desire that 
burns itself into your subconscious, that sears its brand on 
your every thought and action, that becomes an over- 
whelming obession! 

It has to be THAT IMPORTANT TO YOU! 



287 



Chapter 69 



When There Were No Letters To 
Santa Claus 



It was the month before Christmas . . . the 
week before Christmas . . . even the day before Christmas 
—and tiny fingers of tiny tots clumsily grasped their over- 
sized pencils and scribbled, marked or crudely drew, "Dear 
Santa, please bring me ... w 

So many letters! Asking for so many things! 
Some were just a series of marks, but their little writers 
knew what they meant— and they knew Santa could read 
them, too. Some were more legible, painstakingly and 
largely drawn, even if the lines of letters were a bit dia- 
gonal. 

Most of the letters said, "Please," somewhere. 
Some merely said, "I want . . . ", and some were down- 
right demanding: "Bring me this . . . and bring me that." 
You could almost read the personalities of the parents in 
the manner of asking they had taught their children, just 



288 



as you can read the character of the parents in the actions 
of their children (a statement which the parents of some 
children would like to disclaim and probably will). 

But about those letters to Santa Claus: all of 
them, in whatever manner, asked for things. And that's 
good! In fact, the writing of letters to the jolly old man 
with white beard and red suit is part of the fun of Christ- 
mastime, not only for little children, but for their parents, 
too, who must have been made a little nobler to have 
touched such trusting faith. 

So what's wrong? 

What's wrong— what's so very wrong— is that 
after the gifts had been received, there were NO letters to 
Santa Claus, saying, "Dear Santa, THANK YOU ..." 

Before Christmas, perhaps a million letters, 
saying, "I want" . . . "bring me"— but after the gifts were 
received, no letters (or just a few) saying, "THANK ¥011"! 

We cannot blame the little children. They can 
only learn what they are taught. 

But we can pause to consider what kind of 
world we adults have built— where most of the emphasis 
is on "I want" and almost none on appreciation and grati- 
tude. And what kind of world are we building for the 
future? For it is trite but true, that as the twig is bent, so 
is the tree. 

Which reminds me ... I recently asked a very 
busy and important business executive to do me a per- 
sonal favor. It meant nothing to him but time-consuming 
inconvenience, but it was urgent and important to me— 
and I emphasized the urgency to such an extent that I re- 



ceived, the very next morning, the documents I requested. 
I used them at once, then turned my interest to other 
matters. 

It wasn't until four days later that I realized 
with shocked embarrassment that I had been so preoc- 
cupied with using what he had sent me, that I hadn't even 
thought to thank my benefactor! 

As the twig is bent . . . 

I wish I had been taught to write "THANK 
YOU" letters to Santa Claus! 

Were YOU? 



290 



Chapter 70 



Are You Chicken Or Eagle? 



A little boy who lived in the mountains found 
an eagle's nest in a tree high on a rocky crag. In the nest 
was an eagle's egg. The boy took the egg home and placed 
it in a hen's nest under a setting hen. After being placed 
under a succession of setting hens, the eagle's egg finally 
hatched, along with the chicken eggs. 

The baby eaglet played with the baby chicks 
and of course thought he was just like them— a chicken. 

Since the eaglet believed he was a chicken he, 
of course, lived and acted like a chicken. He did not try 
to fly, but remained with the chickens in the fenced-in 
chicken yard. Yet, as the eagle grew bigger and stronger, 
there came a realization inside him that made him feel that 
he was more than a chicken— he felt the urge to fly. After 
a few tries, the eagle began to believe he really could fly. 

And because he believed he could— he couldl 

So he stretched his mighty wings and began 
to fly . . . higher . . . higher . . . higher . . . until he reached 



291 



his new home on top of a lofty mountain. Because he 
believed in a greater destiny, he knew he was not a chicken, 
confined to a dirty chicken yard. Because he believed— his 
belief released his real powers. He now lived on the highest 
pinnacle and soared through the bright, blue sky as the 
proud symbol of courage and freedom— the American 
Eagle! 

The most powerful forces of nature are the 
invisible ones: heat, sound, wind, electricity, gravity— just 
as the most powerful forces of man also are invisible: love, 
thought, desire, belief. 

In the foregoing story, as long as the eagle 
believed he was a chicken, he lived and acted like a 
chicken. Insofar as the eagle was concerned, he was what 
he believed— a chicken. But just as soon as the eagle began 
to believe he had powers and capabilities greater than a 
chicken, his powers and capabilities increased to equal his 
belief! 

And so you can increase you own powers and 
capabilities to the exact extent that you increase your 
belief in them. Psychologists tell us that: "Whatever the 
mind can conceive and believe, man can achieve. "The 
Bible said it much earlier: "ALL things are possible for 
him that believeth." 

Not only can you achieve in direct proportion 
to your beliefs, you actually become what you believe! 

The Bible says: "As a man thinketh in his heart 
{deeply believes), so is he." 

Buddha taught: "ALL that we are is the result 
of what we have thought (deeply believed)." 



292 



Throughout the teachings of all great religions, 
all great thinkers, all great philosophers, and now, modern 
psychologists, are these two monumental facts: (1) You 
can achieve whatever you believe you can, and (2) you 
are the result of your beliefs. 

ALL the great thinkers throughout history, up 
to and including modern times, cannot all be wrong! 

William James, famed philosopher and psy- 
chologist of Harvard, taught: "Belief creates the actual 
fact." 

Emerson, one of the wisest men this nation 
has ever produced, wrote: "No accomplishment, no assis- 
tance, no training, can compensate for lack of belief! 9 

As famed author Bruce Barton said: "Nothing 
splendid has even been achieved except by those who 
dared believe that something inside them was superior to 
circumstance." 

What do YOU dare BELIEVE? 

Are you CHICKEN or EAGLE? 



Chapter 71 



Who Changes The Water? 



Some people say that humanity is like a colony 
of ants on a burning log floating down a broad river. Even 
as the log approaches a cataclysmic waterfall, the ants 
argue among themselves about who is the pilot. 

Other people say that life is like a candle. It 
is lighted at birth and henceforth sheds its dim light upon 
its limited surroundings, flickering uncertainly in every 
breeze, knowing that any sudden gust of wind will ex- 
tinguish it, and, finally, futilely sputtering out as the tallow 
is consumed. 

Of course, just saying life is like a candle does 
not make it so. And there still would remain two relevant 
questions. Who lit the candle? And, why? 

There are other considerations. 
It wisely has been said that an undevout 
astronomer is an idiot. 

To be an atheist, one would have to conceive 



294 



effects with no cause, motion without a mover, a circle 
without a center, time without eternity. 

To be an atheist, one would have to conceive 
a second without a first, action without energy, thought 
without a thinker, a thing formed from nothing by nothing. 

To be an atheist, one would have to believe 
that what is made, exists, but that which made it does not 
exist. Try applying that proposition to the infinity of the 
universe! 

Such beliefs are so against natural reason as 
to be untenable to any sane mind. 

But they were the subject of a serious discus- 
sion between two goldfish as they swam in their crystal- 
clear bowl. Finally, one goldfish in exasperation concluded 
the argument with this pertinent question, "So . . . if there 
isn't a God, who changes the water?" 



295 



Chapter 72 



The Pumpkin Shaped Like A Jug 



A farmer exhibited at a county fair a pumpkin 
in the exact shape of a two-gallon jug. 

This unusually-shaped pumpkin caused quite 
a lot of comment and, of course, the farmer was asked how 
he accomplished it. "When the pumpkin was no bigger 
than my thumb," he explained, "I stuck it in a glass jug 
and just let it grow. When it filled the jug, it quit growing." 

What the walls of the jug did to the pumpkin, 
our plans do to us. Our plans shape— and limit— our lives, 
just as the jug limited the pumpkin. We can never be bigger 
than our plans. 

As one of the master strategists of life admon- 
ished, "Make no little plans!" 

Place no limit, no restriction, on your goals in 
life. MAKE no little plans! And do not let others, for what- 
ever purpose, limit your goals. ACCEPT no little plans! For 
your plans will shape— and limit— your life just as surely as 



296 



the size and shape of the jug shaped and limited the size 
of the pumpkin. 

It is better to be a man of small abilities with 
a big plan, than to be a man of great abilities with a small 
plan. 

If you would be a leader, know this: People 
will not follow a leader who cannot tell them where he is 
going and who cannot show them a feasible plan for getting 
there. 

Without a step-by-step plan, you cannot judge 
progress. If you cannot show progress, you cannot prove 
achievement. If you cannot prove achievement, you can- 
not inspire enthusiasm. And if you cannot inspire enthus- 
iasm—who needs you? 

If you would be a leader, you must point to a 
worthy goal— to a Promised Land. And so we recall that 
great old story of Moses, leading his people for forty years 
through the wilderness to the Promised Land. His people 
followed him for forty years, because beyond the wilder- 
ness, Moses had a goal and always he pointed toward it. 
He taught the lesson which is eternally true for every great 
leader— he must point to a Promised Land! 

Yes, you must have a worthy goal. And to 
reach that goal you must have a plan. But, like the pumpkin 
at the beginning of this chapter, the size of your plan will 
determine the size of your future. 

How big a pumpkin will you be? 



297 



Chapter 73 



Pressure Creates Resistance 



As the real pros in influencing people know: 
PRESSURE CREATES RESISTANCE. 

It seems incredible that the novices haven't 
learned. Yet they persist in bringing pressure on the people 
whose good will they must have in order to succeed. And 
pressure inevitably creates resistance— in physics, in psy- 
chology, in politics, in salesmanship, in civil rights mili- 
tancy, in war, in every relationship involving people. 

Certainly, if you possess overwhelming power, 
you can impose your will. But you may live to regret it. 
(Many people have not lived that long!) 

The surest way to increase resistance is to apply 
pressure. And the more obvious the pressure, the more 
open and hostile the resistance. 

Consider the civil rights militants. The gains 
supposedly won by pressure— by riots, disruption, violent 
demonstrations— were illusionary. They filled a frustrated 
need for recognition. They gratified the egos of some am- 



298 



bitious leaders and gave means of venting the justified 
resentment of their followers. But from the practical stand- 
point of permanently achieving the ultimate objective of 
an unquestionably just cause, they did their cause much 
more harm than good. They created more resistance— 
which, although invisible, will exist for years— than they 
achieved progress, even through the illusion of intimidation 
and capitulation may (or may not) have seemed to result 
from the pressure. 

To put it very simply, one cannot throw a rock 
through a window in a quiet, peaceful neighborhood and 
then ring the doorbell and say, "I just wanted you to know 
what a good neighbor I would be." 

Yet activities all too similar, and on ominously 
massive scales, have been used to "call attention" as some 
civil rights leaders put it. But to "call attention" in a way 
that arouses resentment, creates resistance, and worse, is 
hardly the way to win welcome and subsequent friendship. 

If people would only realize that PRESSURE 
CREATES RESISTANCE, how much more pleasantly, 
justly and successfully, differences could be resolved. 

Even between nations. 

We never seem to learn from history— especially 
our own history! Way back about seventy years ago, we 
got involved in a "little war" half way around the world, 
in the Philippines. From our great superiority of power, 
we felt all we had to do was apply "pressure". But the 
more pressure we applied, the more resistance we encoun- 
tered. So we sent 20,000 U. S. troops. They were matched 
by equal resistance. 



Our General Elwell S. Otis announced that to 
win the war we really needed 30,000 troops. But the more 
pressure, the more resistance. The more Filipinos we killed, 
the more took their places. 

President McKinley denounced the critics and 
sent 40,000 troops. Then 50,000. Then 60,000. Finally the 
"pressure" required to meet the "resistance" of what started 
out to be a few ragged Filipinos in a then-undeveloped 
country rose to a call for 100,000 U. S. troops. 

Any similarity between this "little Asian war" 
and Vietnam ... is purely a matter of history. 

We learn some of our hardest lessons from 
history— only we seem to have to keep learning them over 
and over again. 

Now, to simpler, everyday lessons on our sub- 
ject that PRESSURE CREATES RESISTANCE. Every 
salesman knows— or should know— that. And every buyer 
will confirm it. Everyone who has sought to train a child, 
or to influence a husband or wife knows it— or soon finds it 
out! 

It is so fundamental a principle of psychology 
that it should need no repeating here. But having read 
today's newspaper, the lessons of the news impel me to 
re-emphasize . . . 

PRESSURE CREATES RESISTANCE!!! 



300 



Chapter 74 



The Happiness (?) Of Doing Without 



There is a philosophy which teaches that we 
can eliminate our needs by eliminating their causes. So 
we can. For example, we can eliminate our need for shoes 
by cutting off our feet. 

But I do not want to make light of this phi- 
losophy by citing extreme examples. Indeed, there is con- 
siderable merit to it— not in the extreme of cutting off our 
feet— but in our moderation of desire, in our restraint of 
acquisition. 

When I was a very young man, I read a little 
book entitled, "The Tyranny Of Things." It taught a com- 
mon-sense lesson which I failed to heed, and I'm not sure 
I should have heeded it anyway. But since it is an unavoid- 
able problem for each of us, let's face up to it, this tyranny 
of things. 

Let's first examine, briefly, the case for sim- 
plifying our lives by disdaining the abundance which is so 
lavishly spread before us. We have merely to discipline 



301 



ourselves against desire; seek and be satisfied with the 
bare necessities. For many this would be small accomplish- 
ment. And we would have to define our terms. What are 
"bare necessities" today? The possessions which were con- 
sidered luxuries not too long ago, now are considered neces- 
sities by millions. 

However, many of the great religions and phi- 
losophies of the world have taught the shunning of all 
worldly goods. The lives of great thinkers have emphasized 
their complete freedom from this "tyranny of things". Bare- 
foot Socrates, Christ with only the clothes He wore, Ghandi 
with only his loin cloth and dollar watch, Thoreau in his 
self-built cabin at Walden— and the examples could be al- 
most endless. 

Certainly, I am not one who can argue with 
such great thinkers, their religions and philosophies. Their 
influence has stood the test of history. I can only suggest 
that there may be other interpretations. 

When Thoreau writes, "Money is not required 
to buy one necessity of the soul," I cannot debate that. I 
can only suggest that this philosophy of doing without puts 
unnecessary limits on living. I do not say that deprivation 
is wrong; I merely say that it is a discipline which is desir- 
able in its most extreme forms only to a very few who seek 
supreme sacrifice as a means to spiritual— and in some cases, 
mental— power. Or, for those who are unwilling to provide 
the effort necessary to obtain more than bare essentials, so 
that their activities can be used elsewhere. 

But for the rest of us, what's wrong with rightly 
having a share of the vast abundance which nature (or 



302 



God, if you prefer) continues to make so profusely avail- 
able to those whom nature (or God) has given both the 
desire for, and the ability to obtain? 

Otherwise, why are we given the desire? Why 
are we given the ability? Why the abundance? If life, 
through an incomprehensible and magnificent process, 
spreads before us a table overflowing with abundance, 
shall we turn aside and let the gifts of nature rot? Is there 
not a purpose in the providing? Otherwise why are things 
for our use provided, if we are not to accept them? 

Perhaps examples are better than general ques- 
tions. 

Is the little poor girl, looking wistfully at the 
doll in the store window, somehow better by not having 
the doll? Is her character strengthened by doing without— 
or would it be better if she could own and cuddle the doll 
in her tiny arms, expressing the child-mother love which 
only little girls can give their dolls? Would she receive 
more happiness by doing without? Or even more character? 

Are the backward, starving millions of India 
better in any way than the progressive, affluent Amer- 
icans? Granting the many moral, spiritual and other de- 
ficiencies of our affluent society, is it not better for us to 
accept our blessings, to multiply them, and to share them 
with the less fortunate? Or must we seek, instead, the 
moral discipline of doing without? 

Certainly there is more than one philosophy— 
so why not a Philosophy of Abundance? Surely there is 
more than one interpretation of a religion which some- 
times seems to advocate the doing without all worldly 



S03 



things— when the God of that same religion provides an 
abundance far surpassing the needs of all mankind so, 
perhaps instead of doing without, we should seek the will 
and the wisdom for the distribution of that abundance to 
all needy peoples throughout the world. 

Why not a Philosophy of Abundance? Why 
not the full utilization of world resources: land, people, 
education, finance, transportation— to the end that all man- 
kind shall live in abundance, so that no man (or nation) 
need covet that which is his neighbor's, and there shall be 
neither need nor greed, thus establishing the foundation 
for peace on earth and goodwill among men. 



304 



Chapter 75 



The Ignorant Are The Most Violent 



Several centuries ago, wise Alexander Pope 
wrote a simple statement of fact which offers benefits in 
many phases of modern conduct. 

Pope wrote, "There never was any party, fac- 
tion or sect, in which the most ignorant were not the most 
violent/' 

It should be a deterrent to violence— or to the 
advocacy of violence— just for it to be widely known that 
violence would publicly and privately brand an individual 
or group as being the "most ignorant" of their fellow men. 

It will better prepare us to deal with violence, 
by knowing that it will come from the most ignorant. 

And it should motivate us, not only to speed, 
but to spread, education to all levels of our society, know- 
ing that by increasing education we proportionately di- 
minsh one of the major causes of violence. 

But let us note carefully the part education 
plays in violence. Often educated leaders use their own 



305 



knowledge to arouse the violence of more ignorant fol- 
lowers. A leader, who will choose the road of violence also 
will choose the most ignorant to carry out his purpose. 

In all of the major revolutions and rebellions 
throughout history, the leadership came from the educated, 
but the violent, mass manpower came from the most igno- 
rant. 

As education increases in quality and is spread 
throughout all populations, there will be a marked decrease 
in the use of violence in problem-solving. And, as you pro- 
gress through life, you learn that problem-solving is "the 
name of the game". 

There are better ways of solving problems- 
personal, group, national and international— than by intro- 
ducing violence or even the threat of violence. Surely, by 
now, we have sufficient evidence to prove that. 

In a recent chapter (Chapter 73: "Pressure 
Creates Resistance") it was pointed out that applying 
various forms of pressure actually produced the opposite 
of the result hoped for. Instead of causing acquiescence, 
retreat or collapse, pressure actually creates resistance in 
exact proportion to the degree of pressure applied. 

Since violence is an extreme form of pressure, 
violence and even the threat of violence creates resistance. 
And being an extreme form of pressure, violence creates 
extreme forms of resistance: hostility and counter- violence. 
Also, violence and threats of violence have a built-in ten- 
dency to escalate. Thus, violence breeds increasing vio- 
lence. 

How do we stop it? 



306 



Simply by going back to our original premise: 
"The ignorant are the most violent/' We must eliminate 
ignorance by education. And we must do it soon— because 
the forms of violence, now available, already are capable 
of exterminating us. 

And the first thing we must teach is that the 
use or threat of violence is an admission of ignorance. 

Will those who want to admit that they are 
ignorant, please step forward . . . 



307 



Chapter 76 



The Magic Word That Changes 
Things 



There is a magic little word. 
It has the power to change things from bad to good. 

Or, from good to bad. 

It depends upon how you use this magic little 
word. 

You always are in full control of its use, so you 
have the power to change bad to good, to change unhap- 
piness into happiness, to change failure into success, to 
work miracles in your life and in the lives of others— by 
the use of this magic little word. 

Here is unexpected power which you may not 
have realized you had— or how to use it! So let's try! 

The magic little word which has the power to 
change things is . . . "BUT/' 

So you don't believe that such an ordinary 
little word as "BUT" contains the magic power to change 



308 



things? To work miracles of happiness and success? 

Here's proof! 

Suppose you have lost your job. You say, "Yes, 
I have lost my job . . . BUT . . . this releases me to devote 
my full time to finding a better job for which I am better 
qualified. I might never have had the courage to quit and 
thus would have spent my life in a rut . . . BUT . . . now I 
am free to discover what I really want to do in life and get 
a job which is satisfying as well as more rewarding/' 

Note that the little word "BUT" makes the 
transition from the negative to the positive, from bad to 
good. 

Suppose you have lost someone very near and 
dear to you. You say, "Yes, it is a heartbreaking tragedy . . . 
BUT ... I shall admit it is so and cannot be otherwise, I 
shall accept what cannot be changed, I shall adapt my life 
to what I have accepted as reality and I shall by positive 
action lose myself in a cause which is so much bigger than 
I am that it also is bigger than anything which has hap- 
pened to me." 

Note, again, that it is the little word "BUT' 
which makes the transition from the negative to the posi- 
tive, from tragedy to acceptance and then to self -submerg- 
ing action. 

Suppose the life goal for which you have stud- 
ied, worked and sacrificed, suddenly is snatched from your 
grasp and dashed to pieces on the hard rocks of fate. You 
say, "Yes, that goal is lost . . . BUT ... it is a Law of Life 
that when Fate closes one door, Faith opens another, so I 



309 



shall seek the open door and discover a greater goal— and 
achieve it! 

Again, the magic little word "BUT" has changed 
the negative into the positive, the bad into good. 

And example could follow example. It is time 
now to state the formula so that it can be visualized and 
memorized to become a conditioned reflex which auto- 
matically will use the magic word "BUT" to make the 
transition from the negative to the positive, and change 
bad into good— in your life. 

The formula (or call it a method or technique, 
if you prefer) simply is this: 

( 1 ) Whenever anything bad happens, immedi- 
ately admit it (never play make-believe with trouble) and 
verbalize it, either by describing it aloud or silently to your- 
self. The purpose is to get it stated clearly so that you know 
exactly what bad condition you want to change. 

( 2 ) Then having mentally and verbally defined 
the bad condition (the negative) which you want to 
change, emphasize with total concentration the transform- 
ing word . . . "BUT." 

(3) Follow the transition word "BUT" with 
the positive affirmation that you will transform the bad 
condition into the best possible situation— and begin at 
once to do so. 

Now let's try it on another example: Suppose 
you have lost a substantial amount of money in an ill- 
conceived business venture. 

(1) Admit and verbalize the bad condition 
thus: "Yes, I have lost a lot of money . . . 



310 



(2) Then apply the transforming power of the 
magic word "BUT" so that your statement now is: "Yes, 
I have lost a lot of money . . . BUT ..." 

(3) Finally, follow "BUT" with a positive 
affirmation put into effect immediately by action: "the 
knowledge and experience I have gained will enable me 
to earn much more money than I lost, and I shall begin to 
do so at once!" 

So there you have the Magic Word "BUT" 
Formula in action: "Yes, I have lost a lot of money (nega- 
tive) . . . BUT . . . (transformation) . . . the knowledge 
and experience I have gained will enable me to earn much 
more money than I lost, and I shall begin to do so at once!" 
(positive affirmation put into effect immediately by ac- 
tion). 

Whenever something bad happens, always ap- 
ply the magic word "BUT" to transform bad to good. 

It's a revolutionary idea— which may revolu- 
tionize you,r life! 



311 



Chapter 77 



Are You Overwhelmed? 



One of the greatest disasters of life is to be 
overwhelmed by it. 

The depressing feeling that you are overbur- 
dened beyond your capacity to cope with life's problems 
and responsibilities is one of the most painful of all emo- 
tions. Unlike many painful emotions which come as sudden 
shocks and are soon over, the depression of being over- 
whelmed is one that endures, and feeds on itself to grow 
into an increasingly greater burden. 

When life's burdens completely overwhelm 
the victim, the result is insanity in one of its most tragic 
forms. Or often suicide. 

Why should this be, this permitting ourselves 
to be overwhelmed? Life does not impose on anyone 
burdens beyond his capacitity to bear. Whatever our 
burdens, we are given the strength to bear them. But like 
the frenzied swimmer in water he does not realize is shal- 



312 



low, we panic and drown— when . all we need •* to do is 
stand up. 

Just knowing it is in the nature of life that we 
are equal to our tasks, often removes our panic and we 
stand up, head above the swirling waters which,, moments 
before, we thought would submerge us. 

The depression of being overwhelmed by the 
burdens of Me is self-imposed or imposed by others. It is 
something we do to ourselves or. that we permit others 
to do to us. 

How do we prevent it? 

First, know that— no matter how great your 
burdens may be, you are giventhe strength to carry them. 
You have an inner strength equal to the task. 

Second, simplify. Do not permit yourself to 
become entangled in too many of the complexities of a 
universe which is far too complicated for any person to 
understand, much less manage, even an infinitesimal part 
of it. Be willing to accept a satisfying personal involvement 
in it— and let the rest of it alone: Nobody appointed you 
Manager of the World and. it may reassure you to know 
how few people really are depending on you to solve the 
world's problems. 

You will, however, find many people who will 
seek to unload their problems on you or, in many presump- 
tious ways, add additional problems to those you already 
have. So do as recommended in Chapter 19: push your 
wheelbarrow upside down, or people will throw all kinds 
of things into it. Be content to solve your own problems 



313 



and be very, very selective about additional burdens you 
add to your own load. 

Sufficient unto each day are the burdens there- 
of. The problems of yesterday, added to the anticipated 
problems of tomorrow, and all piled upon the burden you 
are carrying today, will make the strongest falter. Live 
one day at a time. Better still, live one hour, even one 
minute, at a time. Certainly, cope with only one problem 
at a time. Shut out of your life all the unpleasant yester- 
days and all the frightening, uncertain tomorrows. Shut 
out, temporarily, all of today— except just one problem— 
and you will find the one problem, not overwhelming, 
but stimulating. 

Then you will get enjoyment from life for 
what it really is: a problem-solving adventure! 

Divide and conquer, as recommended in Chap- 
ter 2. That's the way to handle a difficult problem. Divide 
each problem into its smallest parts, then methodically 
solve each part, one at a time. Start with the easiest part 
first, so you will be sure to succeed in solving that. This 
will start the momentum of achievement, the continuous 
thrill of consecutive successes! 

Throw away your problem-magnifying-glass! 
Quit making mountains out of molehills— and start making 
molehills out of mountains! 

Then, instead of being overwhelmed by the 
burdens of life— you will overwhelm them! 

The difference is . . . happiness! 



314 



Chapter 78 



The Birds Which Had No Wings 



If you think you have a burden, just remember 
the beautiful and inspiring story which Schiller, the 
German author, loved to tell the children: 

"Once upon a time, the birds had no wings. 
They crawled about the earth. Then one day God threw 
wings at their feet and commanded them to pick up the 
wings and carry them on their backs. At first, it seemed 
very hard. The little birds didn't want to carry those heavy, 
unwieldy wings. But they loved the Lord and, in obedi- 
ence, they picked up the wings and carried them on their 
backs. 

"And, lo, the wings fastened there! What 
they once had thought was a hampering weight and a 
burden, enabled them to fly!" 

It is one of the great lessons of life, that the 
burdens we carry by necessity or by choice— instead of 
weighting us down, actually can lift us up! 



SIS 



There is no escaping the burdens of life be- 
cause, indeed, they are a part of life, itself. Our joy in 
living the brief span of time allotted us, is in our attitude 
toward our burdens, in the very manner in which we 
accept and carry them. 

We might learn our lesson from those hardy 
souls who, throughout history, have been forced in slavery 
or servitude, to handle physical burdens almost beyond 
endurance. We think of those muscled oarsmen who pulled 
the oars of ancient ships when there was no wind to fill 
the sails. And the Negro slaves who pulled the barges 
along the Mississippi before Robert Fulton's steamboats 
plied the waterways and spared their backs for bales of 
cotton. And, we remember, because of their stirring 
song, the Volga boatmen. 

What did they do when their physical burdens 
became almost unbearable? 

They sang! 

So, once again, we come to that omnipotent 
word (which, no matter how hard your author tries to 
avoid repetition, still keeps recurring) . . . ACCEPTANCE! 

No matter what burdens life places upon you, 
or you choose to carry for someone else— accept them . . . 
and sing! 

It is a psychological fact— which was known 
to the ancients long before there were psychologists— that 
if you accept your burdens with the attitude of progressing 
forward, with a song on your lips, or at least in your heart, 
then your burdens become, by some miracle of nature, 



316 



much lighter ... so much lighter that they may spiritually 
lift you up! 

And, like the heavy wings which were given 
the little birds to carry on their backs, but which became 
attached so birds could fly, your burdens may have been 
given you for the very purpose of lifting you above the 
humdrum— to spiritual heights! 

Just one of Schiller's fairy tales? 

Or one of the paradoxes of which a rewarding 
life is built? 

You'll never know until you try. 



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Chapter 79 



Let It Rain 



There is a great wisdom in a simple, little 
statement by Longfellow in Tales of A Wayside Inn: 

"For after all, the best thing one can do when 
it is raining, is to let it rain." 

And so we should— because we must. 

Perhaps that is the greatest lesson of this book. 

Although its 80 chapters were written to give 
readers a wide variety of stimulating and rewarding 
THOUGHTS TO BUILD ON, and each chapter was 
planned to be entirely different from and unrelated to 
all other chapters, yet as we near its end and review its 
thoughts, there seems to be one predominantly recurring 
lesson which applies to many of the life situations with 
which this book deals. 

It is the philosophy of ACCEPTING what 
cannot be changed. 



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It is the psychology of acceptance of the inevit- 
able. It is being willing to have it so, if it cannot be 
otherwise. 

There are so many circumstances and events 
of life which we can neither understand nor change. We 
are bewildered by the unevenhandedness of fate and be- 
come suspicious that its dice are loaded as we daily roll 
them in the game of life. 

Yet the universe of which we are such a minus- 
cule part is, itself, infinitely perfect precision and balance. 
The knowledge that we are a part of such infinite perfection 
should provide foundation for our faith. 

And it is in that environment of eternal and 
absolute perfection that we must realize our being— and 
accept that which we cannot change, and often do not 
understand. 

Because, it is only through acceptance that 
we can transcend the inevitable difficulties and tragedies 
which otherwise would wreck us. 

Let us be pragmatic, if we must, and submit 
to acceptance of what cannot be changed, because that is 
the only way to peace of mind and spirit in a troubled 
world. 

But if we can, let us do better than just be 
pragmatic. Let us, through faith that exceeds under- 
standing, place our acceptance on the altar of Infinity, not 
as a sacrifice, but as a token of belief. 

Having found the means, through acceptance, 
of transcending difficulties and tragedies which inevitably 
are a part of life, having assured ourselves of survival from 



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the shipwreck of sudden storms— let us now seek the abun- 
dance of good things, good times and good deeds which 
are the unlimited rewards for our having acquired the 
inner resources to surmount adversity. 

Let us remember the lesson of previous chap- 
ters, that when Fate closes one door, Faith opens another 
—so that we may move on to a greater goal and achieve 
our highest destiny. 



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Chapter 80 



Not By Bread Alone 



So now we have come full circle. Your author 
began this book by quoting from the Bible, "As a man 
thinketh ... so w he." 

Then from Buddha, "ALL that we are is the 
result of what we have thought." 

And from William James, "Belief (thought) 
creates the actual fact. 9 ' 

This entire book could have been written nail- 
ing proof upon evidence-that WE BECOME WHAT 
WE THINK. 

Just as the kind of food we eat builds our 
bodies, so the thoughts we think build our characters— 
what we really are or subsequently will become. 

So what should we think about? 

Surely we should think more and better 
thoughts than are given in this book. This book is intended 
to be only a tempting beginning in the field of thought— 
a sort of thought-starter, nothing more. 



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The thoughts— or beginnings of thoughts— con- 
tained in this book are deliberately incomplete and, hope- 
fully, provocative as you continue along each partial 
thought-path. 

This is a book of THOUGHTS TO BUILD 
ON. It is not intended to do your thinking for you. 

Each brief chapter has brought you a different 
thought— or, at least, a different viewpoint on an idea 
which is so interwoven in life that it insists on re-occurring. 
Thus, each chapter has been totally unrelated to the pre- 
ceding and following chapters. You can read this book 
forward, backward, start in the middle or anywhere. You 
are set free to ponder each thought briefly . . . or pass it 
by ... or think about it as deeply and as long as you wish. 

No effort has been made to win your agree- 
ment. In fact, your disagreement would be welcomed as 
evidence that this book has accomplished its purpose of 
stimulating thought. 

While this is a chair-side book, and its author 
hopes you will keep it there when it is not otherwise in 
use, it can be used to rewardingly fill those brief empty 
spaces of time too often wasted idly, while you are com- 
muting or waiting. 

It will give you an unlimited variety of 
THOUGHTS TO BUILD ON . . . and give you plenty 
of room to do your own thinking. * 

For . . . "As a man THINKETH-so IS he." 



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