HANDBOUND
AT THE
UNIVERSITY OF
TORONTO PRESS
-
ABNORMAL WOMAN,
A SOCIOLOGIC AND SCIENTIFIC STUDY OF
YOUNG WOMEN, INCLUDING LETTERS OF
AMERICAN AND EUROPEAN GIRLS
IN ANSWER TO PERSONAL
ADVERTISEMENTS,
WITH A
B IBLIOGR APH Y.
BY
ARTHUR MAcDONALD,
" "
AUTHOR OF " ABNORMAL MAN," CRIMINOLOGY, AND j-E CRIMINEL-TYPE.
WASHINGTON, D. C.
COPYRIGHT, 1895, BY THE AUTHOR.
Registered at Stationers' Hall, London, England,
604363
PEEFACE.
A large number of letters were received from the cor-
respondents. Those selected are the most typical or repre-
sentative. Border-line abnormality, or that which is nearest
the normal, is mainly illustrated.
About five per cent, of the letters received were from per-
sons of questionable reputation. These documents, in con-
nection with the deeper forms of sociological abnormality,
will be considered in another volume. It would be out of
place to discuss such questions in this volume, which is
intended for the general reader.
Any reader who may desire to send criticisms can do so
by addressing the author :
P. O. Lock Box 273, Washington, D. C.
Other Works by Author.
ABNORMAL MAN, being essays on Education and Crime
and related subjects, with digest of literature and
a bibliography. 1893. Published by U. S. Bureau
of Education, Washington, D. C. 445 pages, 8.
CRIMINOLOGY, a psychological and scientific study of
criminals; with introduction by Lombroso. Bibli-
ography. (Second edition.) New York, 1894. Funk
& Wagnalls, publishers. 416 pages, 12. Price, $2.00.
LE CRIMINEL-TYPE dans quelques formes graves de
la criminalite. Bibliographic de sexualite pathologique.
(Troisieme edition.) Un volume en 8, illustrait de
Portraits. Public par A. Storck, Lyon, et G. Masson,
Paris. 1895. 300 pages. Prix, 5 fr.
This work is not published in English.
ABNORMAL WOMAN may be obtained by sending
$1.25 to the Author, P. 0. Lock Box 273,
Washington, D. C., or may be ordered through
booksellers.
CONTENTS.
PKEFACE, .... . . . . iii
INTRODUCTION, ........ vii
Personal advertisements.
CHAPTER I, 1
American Correspondents.
CHAPTER II, ......... 119
European Correspondents : Letters in English, in
French, and in German.
CHAPTER III, .... ... 170
Love psychologically and pathologically consid-
ered.
CHAPTER IV, . . .180
Conclusion.
CHAPTER V, . . . . . . . . 185
Bibliography.
INTRODUCTION.
The abnormal person of society is in the minority and
conforms less to the customs of the community than the
average or normal person. The word " abnormal " has
therefore come to imply, in the minds of the public, some-
thing wrong, or at least uncomplimentary. But, as used by
the author, it has no reference to moral qualities ; it simply
signifies deviation from the normal. An abnormal person
might be one of the best or one of the worst citizens.
In the case of man the term " abnormal " refers to crime,
pauperism, drunkenness, etc. ; insanity, great talent, and
genius. In this sense abnormal woman varies little from
abnormal man, except in those differences that exist be-
tween the sexes in general. In applying the word u ab-
normal " to woman, therefore, it will refer more to social
standards and to woman in her special function as
woman.*
An empirical inquiry has to do primarily with what is,
rather than what ought to be, or shall be, however im-
portant these two latter questions may be considered. It
has not only to make an inventory of the facts, but seek
out the causes. In pursuing an investigation in a labora-
tory a selection and arrangement of material and the con-
ditions under which experiments are to be made are a
necessary preliminary. But when human beings in society
constitute the laboratory, the difficulties are greatly in-
creased.
* This latter question will be considered in another volume. See
Preface.
Vlll
The present work is an attempt to make an original and
scientific study of abnormal woman outside of institutions
that is, in society at large.
The question arises as to how it is possible to find ab-
normal women in society. After some consideration, it oc-
curred to the author that the most convenient and perhaps
the best method would be through the " personal " column of
the newspaper. The following advertisement was accord-
ingly inserted :
GENTLEMAN or HIGH SOCIAL AND UNIVERSITY POSITION DESIRES
CORRESPONDENCE (ACQUAINTANCE NOT NECESSARY) WITH YOUNG
EDUCATED WOMAN OF HIGH SOCIAL AND FINANCIAL POSITION. No
AGENTS ; NO TRIFLERS ; MUST GIVE DETAILED ACCOUNT OF LIFE ;
REFERENCES REQUIRED. ADDRESS, LOCK BOX .
The above "personal," with slight variations, appeared
in a number of the principal newspapers in the large cities
of our country. It was in different papers at different times
for a period of about three or four months.
Considering the use to which the "personal " column is
generally put, the author did not think it wrong to make it
serve as the means of sociological investigation.
A woman who answers a public advertisement cannot ex-
pect her correspondence with a total stranger to be of a
very confidential nature. It has been the author's desire,
however, not to reveal in any way the identity of any of his
correspondents. All names of persons, therefore, and most
names of places occurring in the letters have been omitted.
Since the correspondents live in all parts of our country,
and mostly in large cities, and some in Europe, the proba-
bility of any of them being identified is practically nil.
It is difficult to see any serious reason why people in gen-
eral should object to being studied, for the name of per-
son or place is of no account ; science has no interest in
personalities, much less in personal gossip.
Some of the correspondents gave their name and address
in their first letter, illustrating the credulity of young
women. As the author was corresponding with a large
number at the same time, his letters were necessarily brief,
especially as he was obliged to write them all himself.
As a type of letters to correspondents, the following will
give a general idea :
The first letter was about as follows :
Your kind answer to personal advertisement is just re-
ceived. Be so good as to tell me all about yourself as
requested in advertisement, and I shall be pleased to cor-
respond.
Other and longer letters were written to those with whom
the correspondence continued ; yet they were as short as
they well could be. Some correspondents seemed to lose
interest gradually, and finally discontinued, either because
the novelty of the experience had ceased, or the letters of
the author did not come up to their expectation.
In calling upon correspondents, measurements of the
nervous system were made where it was possible. The in-
struments of precision used were the most delicate and
recent ; and the main object was to decide as accurately as
possible the acuteness of the nerves to heat, pain, and
locality, and to compare the results with the acuteness of
women in general ; to see whether their nervous condition
may possibly be one of the causes of their answering a
" personal," or whether it is due more to their surround-
ings and circumstances in life. The latteris probable ; yet
an abnormal nervous state would be one of the factors.
Most of the correspondents' letters are given, so that the
reader may be independent of the author in forming his
own judgment. In general, the letters speak for them-
selves, so that few or no remarks are needed.
, It has probably occurred to many that they would like
to insert or answer a "personal " just to see what kind of
letters they would receive. The variety of answers here
will, perhaps, serve their purpose almost as well as though
they had made the experiment themselves.
But it may be asked, why study this class of women,
who, as will be seen, are on the border line of abnormality?
The study of the abnormal is the most practical method of
approach to the normal. If we were observing an ant-hill
and found a certain minority with peculiar marks, it would
serve as a means of a primary division. The abnormal
manifestations should be studied first, because, in their dif-
ferent forms, they give rise to most of the troubles in
society. When there is a stoppage in machinery, we first
attend to that part which is out of gear. The evidence
would indicate that the majority of those women who
answer personals are out of harmony with their present
social environment.
The reader* is now introduced to the correspondents,
some of whom are students, writers, and authors ; others
are daughters of wealthy and well-known men ; one or two
are countesses, some have travelled much and seen the
world, and many are above the average in education and
culture.
* Where the author is addressed as ; 'A," he has given the corre-
spondent his name.
CHAPTER I.
AMERICAN CORRESPONDENTS.
CASE 1. Miss B.
I am dying of curiosity to know who you are, and what
your object is in inserting such a personal.
In the first place, if you are of the highest social and
financial standing, why don't you write to some bright girl
in your own set? (There are lots of them, pretty, clever,
well-bred, etc.) As a general thing, a girl of that kind
won't answer a personal. If you are bored with society,
why don't you travel and so meet some fair damsel who
would appreciate you?
Won't you tell me " what you are at "I
I am a brunette, twenty-five, an orphan, with my own
income, and so independent of the world. I am something
of a Bohemian in my way. I hate boarding houses, and
avoid them as one does the plague. I live in rooms, and
take my meals where and when I please. (I make my own
coffee, and very delicious it is, too.)
I am college bred, and have written sketches for different
papers. Some day I'll write a book. I have material for
three books now, but must cut it down. My favorite
amusement is the study of mankind. The result of my
studies in this direction I shall put in my book (a novel, of
course). You may think me very " emancipirt," but per-
haps you are funny yourself !
You may write to me, to gratify my curiosity, but I won't
promise to answer, unless
DEAK MR. A. : Your letter with newspaper cutting really
interests me. I wonder whether you know more of " board-
ing houses " than I ? You certainly cannot abhor them
more religiously.
But I must confess that I do not yet clearly understand
your " personal " scheme. Pardon me if I seem unduly
curious. I have told you that my great hobby is the " study
of mankind," and I will also add that anything out of the
ordinary interests me exceedingly. That is why I have
taken such an interest in your notice. It struck me at the
time there was something " behind " something which
might be added to my collection of mental curios.
After reading your cutting again, it occurs to me that you
are only " experimenting" with the female mind. In your
scientific zeal you are, perhaps, using an advertisement to
" draw out " a number of women, &c., as a study, even as I
am seeking your motives as a possible " study from life."
Or, are you sincere after all ? Can you afford to be hon-
est ?
P. S. Do you want me to believe that a number of girls
of the " highest social and financial standing " have really
treated your matrimonial venture seriously I I would give
much to see one such letter.
The author did not meet Miss B. He found, incidentally,
that she was a friend of one of his correspondents, and
somewhat Bohemian in tastes.
DEAR MB. A. : You answered my very inquisitive letter
or rather you wrote me one, and never answered one of my
questions.
I did not ask who you are* or where you live (I cannot
tell you as much as that). I only want to know what your
object is in such a ridiculous advertisement. If you don't
choose to enlighten me, it won't matter I'll survive. It is
an absurd advertisement, because no one of the highest
social and financial standing would think of replying to it.
Then if you are seriously seeking a wife, you could
easily get one in your own station of life, without resorting
to the newspaper as a medium.
* Contradicts first sentence in preceding letter.
Correspondents in the same way may be had for the ask-
ing, without advertising.
If you choose to tell me what I have asked, you may.
CASE 2. Miss C.
I read your advertisement in the . I read it sev-
eral times before I could muster sufficient recklessness
shall I say ? to answer it. For the question will present
itself : What would father say ? What would- mother say ?
What would everybody say I People are ever ready and
anxious to censure, therefore one must never suggest an
opportunity or be reckless. I think I shall be reckless for
a change, life is so uncompromisingly dull at times. A
little mild recklessness would at least break the monotony.
I am not a [name of city] girl, by the way ; I am only
here for a short time.
I suppose you would like some description of me, but I
am sure I can't describe myself, though I can give you some
cold facts that you might turn into an algebraic equation if
you are very, very clever.
A weight 117 Ibs.
B height 5 ft. 5 in.
C age 22 yrs.
A X B X C = x.
Oh, I suppose that is all wrong, but never mind.
I never wrote to any one I did not know before, and it is
like writing in the dark. If I had only seen you for about
two minutes I would have something to base an opinion
upon.
I might have talents some people seem to think so, but
I am not so sure of it myself.
There are three things I care for music, art, literature.
I shall not write any more to you now. Of course, I
ought not to write at all, but this has a spice of novelty
about it that fascinates me. If you answer, address
DEAR SIR: I have just been to the P. O., and got your
letter. It is now nearly four o'clock, so, of course, is too
late to meet you. I will be in to-morrow morning to
do some shopping. Am going to store on Ave.
If you happen to be in the glove department and drop your
handkerchief, I probably will know you. I will wear a black
hat with pink roses, and a brown or black gown. I will be
there between 10:30 and 11:30. Perhaps I shall not want
you to address me. If I do not, I will let you know by a
look. It you are not there it will be all right. I shall know
you had some other engagement.
By the way, I am tall, dark hair, and brown eyes if
that will help you any.
This letter is written on the business paper of a firm,
presumably that of her relatives, or of her father.
The author called at the store named about 11 A. M.
As there were so many that might answer for the descrip-
tion given in her last letter, the author took out the letter
to read it in order to make sure of not speaking to the
wrong person. As the paper had a peculiar tint, Miss C.
recognized her letter, and came of her own accord and
spoke to the author. The conversation, as it generally does,
turned naturally on the number of answers to the "per-
sonal." At the suggestion of the author, both walked to
the newspaper office to see how many more answers there
were. As Miss C. had an engagement to lunch with her
father at 12:30, the author, in accompanying her to the sta-
tion, suggested going down a prominent street, but Miss
C. objected, saying she might meet her brother. So an-
other, quieter street was chosen. On the way the author
asked her many direct questions, one of which was : " What
do you read ? " The characteristic answer was : " The Yel-
low Astor, the Heavenly Twins, and all the latest things
out." As her letters show, Miss C. was somewhat innocent
of the general character of personal advertisements, and
when told frankly that they were not of a good character,
she turned quite pale. She promised the author never to
answer or insert any personal again, on leaving him at the
station.
This is an example of how innocent some young girls are
in their venturesomeness.
CASE 3. Miss D.
Yours received yesterday afternoon. I'd no idea the mails
were so quick in this sleepy old town.
You say, " tell me all about yourself." Ah, now, that also
is not an easy thing to do. Ask me what you like, and I
shall be more than pleased to gratify your shall I say, cu-
riosity ? No, I'll not say that, but indeed I'll be very happy
to tell you anything you may want to know. That is fair
enough, is it not ?
If you come to call upon me I shall be very glad to see
you. Only, of course, there's always the chance that you
may not like me may not even like my appearance. It is
not many people who like me ; that I'm frank to admit, for
I know I am quite different from the general run of girls.
I am very independent, and I have views of my own which
some people do not approve of.
I make very few friends, and never a friend of another
woman. I hope this does not shock you. But I've seen a
good deal of the world, and through experience I've come
to the conclusion that women are very false to one another ;
very false and very cruel. Do you not believe this ?
Let me hear from you, and tell me what you want to
know about me, and I'll tell you. I am always frank too
frank, I sometimes think.
Yours of yesterday rec'd this morning. So you really want
to know about my views, etc. Well, I doubt if they'll inter-
6
est you, and many of them, in fact, are but floating, unformed
things in my mind as yet. Still, perhaps I can give you
some sort of an idea. Have never really told them to any
one before, though I knew well what would be said if I did:
so, if you do not like them you've only yourself to blame.
You'd much better have waited and found them out gradu-
ally.
In regards to some of my ideas at which many people are
scandalized let me see, it's hard work to suddenly be obliged
to put into words thought which has never taken a tangible
form before. Well, the main one is in regard to men and
women. Now, when a man marries, does he not, as a rule,
expect and insist that his wife should be perfectly pure ? Yes,
of course. And he, himself, may be one of the most awful
rakes that ever existed. Now, that is not fair, and I don't
believe in it, and never will. And just because of that (I'm
sure) more than half the marriages are wretched affairs and
total failures. I've seen things that have made we wild, so
that I've sworn I'd never marry, unless the man I married
thought as I do. I think that either women should be
allowed more liberty, in a certain way, or else that men
should keep themselves as pure as they expect their wives
to be.
I don't know how you think upon this subject, and you
may be very much shocked at what I've said. If you are,
I'm sorry, but I cannot help it, for it's what I honestly and
truly believe.
And another thing, I'm not quite sure that I believe in
marriage anyway. Though this is merely an afterthought
and has no form at all yet, so it must not be taken into con-
sideration at all. Men are selfish creatures. They think
only of themselves. They are all most never true to their
wives. I know dozens of cases where the man' is deceiving
his wife right along, and she perfectly unconscious, be-
lieving in his love and truth. Oh, it is dreadful ! Of course,
sometimes women do that sort of thing, too, but in some
way it is generally the man's fault. If I married and loved
my husband (I'd never marry unless I did) and thought he
loved me, and then after awhile should find out that there
was some one else, perhaps two or three, and that I was no
more his wife than the rest of them, except in name, oh, I
should go mad, mad! I have seen so much of this. It has
been interesting to me to look on and see how far you men
will go, but it has destroyed my faith in men. I like men
very much, and I don't like women. Even when I was a child,
I always rather looked down on girls, and much preferred
playing with boys. I never know what to say to women.
We have not a thought in common, so I always take care
never to be brought into close contact with them. Girls
are so silly. Honestly, it nearly kills me with laughter
sometimes to see them with men, and the absurd things they
do, and the idiotic things they say. I don't wonder men
rather despise women. They are, as a rule, poor, weak,
vain creatures, made for the pleasure and gratification of
man. From this I don't want you to think that I believe
in woman's rights and suffrage and that kind of women,
because I don't. It is utterly absurd, and only belongs to
women who are sexless ; at least they become sexless when
they go into that.
Poor, poor women, I am indeed sorry for them. In a
measure I pity myself, but not as I do the others, for I know
no law but myself. I pity myself simply because I happen
to be a woman. Oh, if I were only a man ! Well, if I were,
I suppose I'd be just like the most of them animals, that
is all. But delightful and charming animals for all that.
I should have been a man. I'm quite sure of it. And it
is a great injustice to me that I am not. Is there, I wonder,
any such thing as love ? real, true love, with no thought
of self? What do you think ?
I think if two people love each other, with an all absorb-
ing love, then I think well, I don't know I don't know
what I think ; at any rate I will not say.
Now are you satisfied ?
I think I have answered all of your questions.
Are you shocked and scandalized ?
Eemember, I do not flourish these ideas of mine abroad.
But few people even so much as suspect them ; they only
know that I am not exactly like other girls. I know this
8
to be so, for people have told me again and again that they
couldn't understand me, I was so different from most
girls. I hope to Heaven I am.
Miss D. is a tall young lady, twenty years old, and of
good appearance ; has lived and travelled with her family
in many parts of Europe for several years. As her letters
indicate, she knows the world. She introduced the author
to her mother and sister, both of whom are French schol-
ars. The mother was especially intelligent.
Anthropological measurements of Miss D. are :
Height, 163 centimetres; sitting height, 83 cm.; arm
reach, 163 cm. ; weight, 121 Ibs.
Least sensibility to pain, r. hand, 2.75 kilos; 1. hand, 2.25
kilos.
Least sensibility to heat, r. wrist, 3.50; 1. wrist, 2.
Least sensibility to locality, r. wrist, 9 mm. ; 1. wrist,
9 mm.
Strength of r. hand grasp, 23 kilos; 1. h., 20 kilos.
Hair, light, short and curly ; eyes, blue ; skin, light. These
measurements indicate a normal condition. She is excep-
tionally acute to the sense of locality.
The family seem to be in very comfortable circumstances.
The father is dead. The author endeavored to get MissD.
to translate a French novel into English, but it soon became
evident that she did not care to confine her attention to one
thing for any length of time ; and, like the growing number
of educated women in society, she seemed to have nothing
special to do. She had given up all faith in religion, so
that church work did not help her as it does so many young
women. Her abnormality is due rather to her conditions
than to her character. The family seem to have spent
much of their time in moving about from one country to
9
another, thus affording no foundation for a continuous and
unified system of training and education for their children.
CASE 4. Miss E.
If you will send me your real name, photo, and refer-
ences, I think I'll write to you, just for a lark. Am tired
of the society act, and fancy I'd like just a tiny bit of bohe-
mianism.
I know [names city] as well as you, perhaps, so be sure
you do not send me a photo of your footman, and refer me
to the baker. By the above, I did not mean to suggest I
knew you, but [names city] a difference ; all depends on
the inflection or " qualities of tone expression " [see Del-
sarte].
Mr. A. : Your note was brought up on my breakfast tray
yesterday morning. Pardon the use of the secretary of a
friend, but you were too vague why did you not inclose
the clippings which accompanied the "newspaper photo"?*
If there is anything characteristic in handwriting, I would
say that you are a lawyer (yet could a lawyer do anything
so frivolous ?) ; in fact, I thought I recognized the writing of
a friend who is a well, a politician, and left that letter un-
opened until I had read all the others, for his epistles usu-
ally contain a lecture to my, no doubt, delinquent self. I
shudder to contemplete the lecture I'd receive if he should
hear of this.
I must insist on the original photograph, and, waiting fur-
ther details, I am.
Yours very truly.
The author called about 4.30 in the afternoon ; the serv-
ant said the lady could not see him then, but to come at
* Author enclosed in his note to Miss E. a newspaper photo of him-
self.
10
8.30. It took some time for the lady to make this decision.
At 8.30 a young lady came down and said she had been
chaperoning Miss E. while in town ; that Miss E.'s brother
allowed her too much freedom. She had opened the letter
to Miss E., as their names were very similar. Miss E. had-
left town when the letter arrived. The young lady came
down with her bonnet on ; the propriety of answering
personals was discussed and the conversation continued on
other subjects for nearly an hour. Then the question arose
whether the author and the young lady could consider
themselves acquainted. She said, "Yes, if we had any
mutual acquaintance who might introduce us."
CASE 5. Miss F.
IN MY DEN BY MYSELF.
I saw your " personal " a week ago to-day, and had a
mind to answer it then, but I could not get the courage.
I have thought of it several times since, and now, to-day, I
see it again, which makes me think you cannot have re-
ceived the answer you expected. I wonder what kind of
letters you really received. It seems impossible that any
one with " matrimonial intentions " should advertise in a
paper and expect to be suited. Perhaps your motive is
curiosity to see what foolish girls there are, and what letters
they are capable of. I have no matrimonial intentions my-
self. On the contrary, I prefer liberty and happiness. I
think loneliness, however, is terrible, and I like to talk to
and with a refined man, but am sure that I am happier now
than I would be married to any one. I have been educated
partly in Europe, and am proud to say that no man in the
world can compare with Americans. I have met English,
French, German, Italians, and Russians, and none, not even
the noblest, have the charm that American men have of
truth, chivalry, and true manliness.
11
I am an American girl, daughter of a clergyman, and
America seems doubly dear to me since my return.
I am particularly fond of the sea, and am going back to
Europe next summer, more for the ocean voyage, I believe,
than anything.
I love flowers, dogs, and horses, and am specially fond of
horse-back riding. Then I love music, books, art, nature ;
everything beautiful. What do you like best ?
P. S. I am a brunette, aged 23 years 5 months 20
days. E. I. P.
DEAR DOCTOR A. : I have your frank, pleasant letter,
which interests me greatly. I will admit that I have a pas-
sion for psychology (without knowing very much about it),
but was not aware that I had expressed such a preference
in my letter to you. You must have guessed it, for I am
sure I never mentioned the word.
The relation of the mind to the body, and their mutual
dependence, is a most fascinating subject for thought. I
have both felt and observed in this respect. I have excel-
lent health, for instance, yet can make myself really ill, at
will, by allowing my mind to become saturated with certain
thoughts. To the same degree, when suffering actual pain,
I have been able to heal myself and become well and jolly,
by spiritual and mental suggestion.
Do you think we are ever unconscious ? I believe even
in sleep I am conscious, only on a different plane.
Have you been in Berlin 1 ? That is the German city I
know best ; but I have also been in Hanover and Hamburg.
You will wonder, perhaps, how I came to write that first
letter.
Please address as before, just for the present. Next time
I can more easily give you my name and address, and also
explain why I cannot do so conveniently now.
Do write to me again, for I like your letter so much ; and
will make my confession next time, " honor bright."
[Signs false name.]
12
DEAR DOCTOR A. : I feel impelled to write to you again, al-
though scarcely three hours have elapsed since I wrote my
other letter ; but I want to ask you questions. I have been
reading the Review over carefully, and the suggestions
of the book's contents have fired my enthusiasm. The
spirit of God seems to be working in various ways. It is
wonderful to notice the great awakening going on in the
world to the idea that the human race must be elevated.
What you name as the remedy, that idea I can grasp with
all my heart and soul, for I believe ignorance is the great-
est evil the race has to contend against it is the cause of
all the other evils. In fact, I may say I believe that igno-
rance is the very devil or all the devil there is. And when
we can rid this earth of ignorance in any form, then will
the millennium be here.
I believe that the second coming of Christ has already
begun.
The coming " in the clouds " or in the hearts of men, is
it not begun now?
I suppose in the material point of view it is only evolu-
tion; but the whole world seems to be waking up to the
thought of brotherhood and love and the battle against
ignorance or evil.
I asked you to-day what particular kind of education
you refer to. Don't you think the education of the soul of
the greatest importance ? Are not spiritual growth and
knowledge necessary to the best control of the body?
I am not a scholar. I only see dimly a few beautiful
truths which seem to be leading me on to greater knowl-
edge. But I know by experience that I have power over
my body in proportion to my gain in spiritual knowledge,
and is there any limit to the soul ?
It makes me thrill when I think of the power of God,
manifested in man. I don't believe we half know our own
power. I believe that the divine part of us the God in
man is the greatest power in the universe.
I am not literary. I can't half express what I feel. I
have read very little, but have thought much. But I am
sure you understand what I am trying so feebly to say.
13
And if I am wrong, put me on the right track. This is a
funny letter for a P. E. girl to write ; but never mind. It
is a luxury to be able to be frank and vent one's self in a letter
and not fear misunderstanding.
You see how eager I am.
DEAR PROFESSOR : Your letters interest me very much.
Everything in life interests me, more or less. You remem-
ber the story of two friends who made the compact that
whoever should die first should record his impressions at
the moment of dissolution, and manage to convey them to
the survivor.
Professor A. was " the first to pass on," and as he lay on
his dying bed he turned to his friend, Dr. B., and gasped :
" I can hardly find words to express my emotions at this
critical time, but I assure you I find it extremely interest-
ing" and so died.
That is the way with my life. I find it " extremely inter-
esting," and even laughable. If I ever see you I can tell
you some funny experiences funnier than anything in
print, really.
I sometimes sing for charity, but usually require people
to plank down the regulation fee, which is not a small one.
I have many engagements to keep. But you, you could
come here, if you chose. You should not be a "slave" to
your work. " Be free ! " " Be yourself ! ! ! " In other words,
take your own advice.
In a tearing hurry.
DEAR DOCTOR A. : I do not feel that I have done anything
wrong in answering the personal. I can always trust my
womanly instincts in a matter like this. Yet the social world
would not view it in the same light. They would consider
our introduction a most unconventional one, and while many
things are excused in a man, yet my own action in writing
to you would be severely commented upon, were it known.
I naturally wish to ignore, as far as possible, anything un-
conventional in the manner of our becoming acquainted.
14
My parents are dead. I have no one to advise me at least
no one to whose advice I would listen for one moment. I
have relatives, of course (wealthy, worldly, selfish, or loving,
as the case happens), but the desire of most of them is to
see me married to some rich man (to be brutally frank with
you). They would not at all understand why I should pre-
fer to live my own life with my music and books. And
above all things they would never understand my corre-
spondence with a stranger. They would regard it as one
of the " eccentricities of genius," and try to save me from
such a mad course.
Now I am quite independent of them. I am old enough
to think for myself, and I do desire intellectual companion-
ship very much.
I have had plenty of flattery and attention, but I don't
want it. It is unsatisfactory.
If my mother and father were living I would be at home
with them, happy and content, and would never have writ-
ten to you.
My mother was a beautiful woman (I look like my father),
gifted, and happy as a bird, always. She died when I was
a tiny child. I can just remember her beautiful voice, her
merry laughter, and her long dark hair. My father died
years ago. I have been reared and educated by relatives,
and never saw much of him. He was a clergyman with " ad-
vanced ideas." He wrote a book; he had a melancholy,
dreamy temperament, and his religious convictions were
greatly in advance of his time. I had brothers and one sis-
ter. We were educated apart, thro' force of circumstances,
and rarely see each other. .They are older than me, mar-
ried, and interested in their families.
My mother was devoted to her children. She was very
strong, rode, drove, etc., and taught each one of her chil-
dren to swim as religiously as we were taught to speak the
truth and say our prayers. My father was killed in an acci-
dent ; had never been ill a day in his life ; so naturally I in-
herit a strong constitution, a love of fun and out-of-door
sport.
I don't know why I have written you all this except that
15
you seem to expect it. Tell me just as much or as little as
you like about yourself. I don't care for your family. I only
want to know you.
Can't you understand why I had to use another name ? I,
of course, could not know what you were like, and it was a
great risk to write at all.
DEAR PROFESSOR: Your characteristic letter just arrived.
I am delighted with its aggressiveness. When you say,
" Be free ; be yourself ! " you make me laugh. When you
know me better, you'll laugh, too. For no one was ever
any more herself than I am myself. Other people complain
that I am too much myself. One of my matronly relatives
says I ought to wear a label on my forehead, " President of
the [her name] Club " (one member). As for freedom, I
have it. I am afraid of nothing in the world, nor the uni-
verse, either, and I always do exactly as I please. I had a
clear friend a fox terrier whose advice I used to ask. (I
don't ask any one's advice now.) After confiding my diffi-
culties to him and begging him to speak, he would bark a
little and look wise ! Then I would go away and do just as
I had intended to all along. He was the best adviser and
confidante in the world. Man could do no more, and he
had the advantage of never taking offence because I did
not follow his advice to the letter.
DEAR DR. A. : Your two letters just came, and I de-
stroyed the letter you enclosed at once. I wish to destroy
anything relating to the "personal." Besides, I answered
more than one "personal," and have no idea which one I
am writing to, as the others have not all answered. My
letter does not give me much of a clue. What name did
you advertise under ? I answered several, intending to con-
tinue the one I liked best. I have not dared to continue
any except yours.
It will be impossible for me to come. I do not visit there,
although I have several acquaintances there, but no friends.
16
I know more artists and musicians, as that is the world I
belong to, but my circle of acquaintances is not so large,
as I have lived abroad so much. Perhaps we have mutual
friends in London. I am generally over during the season.
I am not so conventional, however, as to demand a formal
introduction. As long as no one knows except ourselves,
it does not annoy me, and I enjoy the novelty. But should
any one by chance get an idea of the true way we became
acquainted I should be more than annoyed.
I will write more later. I am due at a lecture now.
Au revoir till to-morrow.
IN MY DEN.
DEAR DR. A. : I have just received your letter. I thought
I had written you labt Saturday how impossible it is for
me to come.
I have never made a move to meet a man even a friend.
I never take such steps. I quite exhausted my powers
when I wrote you that first letter. I leave it for the other
sex to make all advances.
Have you read the new novel "A Yellow Aster " ? I have
not, but every one is talking of it here.
I can think of a thousand things I want to say, but time
presses, and I must off and away to the rehearsal. Time
was made for slaves, and yet for the free. Nicht war ?
In a tearing hurry.
Miss F. writes better than she talks. As her letters indi-
cate, she is independent. She is an artist and takes the
artist's freedom, but all her conversation and actions, as
well as her letters, show her to be of high character, mor-
ally, yet she is independent as to social forms. For ex-
ample, she says she likes to make men comfortable when
they call sew on a button to their glove ; make a little
coffee for them. She mentioned going to a restaurant with
friends, and one of the gentlemen liked a certain dish, which
17
she did also, but she took pleasure in pretending she did
not like it, simply to have the pleasure of seeing him eat it,
for he was very fond of it.
The author called by appointment. The call was a very
smooth one, as no objections were made to her ideas or
statements. The following day he called again, and after
partaking of some coffee and cake and listening to her sing
several of her own compositions, a walk was taken. The
conversation was not so smooth. The purpose of art and
its relative value to purposes in other departments of
knowledge was discussed. Miss F. admitted she was a
little whimsical in some things, but she said she did not
like discussion ; it involved analysis, and she hated dissec-
tion.
Miss F. is rather stout and pleasant in appearance, but
not prepossessing.
The following psycho-neural measurements were taken :
Thermaesthesmometer : ^-0 right wrist, 5 left wrist. This
abnormal obtuseness to heat in left hand is probably due
to the fact that she was injured in this hand, and that it
had had a " benumbed " feeling.
Algometer : 1 kilos pressure in right hand, and 3 kilos
pressure in left hand. The disproportion between the
hands corresponds to the heat test.
CASE 6. Miss G.
MY DEAR MR. A. : Your very kind letter just received, for
which many thanks.
I am a Scandinavian by birth ; 27 years old ; fairly well
educated ; light complexion, blue eyes ; rather plump, and
not tall 5 feet 4 inches weigh 135. Am very affectionate,
full of love ; smart, bright, and active ; work for my living
am artist by trade. Above all, I am highly respectable and
innocent, and fully capable of making a "good" man happy.
What nationality are you ; what business are you in ; are
you a good-natured fellow ; have you a kind and easy dispo-
sition ; have you feeling for a good woman ; are you satis-
fied in a happy home ; can you love a good woman ; are you
a Christian ? Please excuse my many questions and write
me a long letter as soon as you get this.
MY DEAK MK. A. : Your kind letter at hand, for which
thanks. I was born in Norway 27 years ago, where my
parents were well-to-do. Times changed ; my father lost
his means, and the result was that we children had to look
out for ourselves. My mother was a very good woman and
taught us the right from the wrong, and that is what we have
gone by ever since. She is dead now long ago mother,
the best friend on this earth. I have been here for seven
or almost eight years ; been abroad once and expect to take
another trip in a few months. I have been in business, but
did not succeed and lost money, the most of what little I
had. I am a great poet have published books, but not in
English. I have one sister and one brother ; my father is
married again. About my troubles, I never had very much,
some little disappointment ; I guess every one has, but I
generally met very nice people, and if I happened to meet not
nice ones, I simply kept away from them. I am very lone-
some at times and really do wish that I had some one to
love and stick to ; could have had lots, but not yet seen any
that I could trust that much, as it is rather a long and par-
ticularly service to enter. I have an easy disposition, am
thoroughly honest, straightforward looking, and always
like people of the same opinion. I have now written a long
letter and have no more time now, as I have my work to
do business before pleasure. I close in hope to receive
another letter from you this week.
Remember well and bear in mind,
A faithful friend is hard to find ;
But when you find one good and true,
Chance never sold one for a new.
19
DEAR MR. A. : I would have written before, but all last
week I was ill with spring fever. I am better now, but my
head is very heavy and dull yet. I am no striking beauty.
It was said that I was very nice looking when I was quite
young, but time has changed and so have I. But, anyway,
a pure heart and a spotless dignity is more than beauty.
Hoping that you are well and happy, and that I soon will
hear from you, I remain, with love and best wishes,
DEAR MR. A. : Yours of the 27th received. In fact, I did
not expect to hear any more from you at all. I will be glad
to see you before I leave, as I am preparing a trip abroad,
and do not by any means expect to return before , if I
ever do return. I do like traveling and wish I had means
enough to travel all the time. This time I am not going
only for pleasure, but also on business ; as I told you once
before, I am an authoress and publisher. Everything I have
told you, from my first letter to you, is true, and can be
proved.
Hoping that you are well and happy, I remain,
DEAR MR. A. : Your kind letter duly received, for which
thanks. I hardly expected to have any more letters from
you, as it took so long time before I received any.
I will be very much pleased to have you call at my house,
but let me know it on forehand. Inclosed you will find
what you are asking for, but kindly return it as soon as you
have read it. It is the only one I have left out of 10,000 *
and I can never get another one. I was only seven years old
when I started to compose verses, and I ought to by this
time be worth millions of dollars instead of what I am, but
perhaps I am better off as I am. Happiness and comfort
is more than riches.
Hoping you will favor me with a letter when you have a
little time to spare. I really like to receive letters from you.
* Copy of book of her own poems in her native language.
20
DEAR SIE : I am sitting here all alone, thinking and think-
ing and wondering about everything and nothing, trying to
write, trying to compose, while my poor aching heart is
throbbing in my bosom like a mill-clapper, while my thoughts
are thinking of past, present, and future, and I am so lone-
some, so lonesome. I thought all last week you would send
me a letter, but I got badly left.
Well, I am not the first one left, and will not be last one
disappointed in this world.
DISAPPOINTED.
1. There are songs enough for the hero,
Who dwells on the heights of fame ;
I sing for the disappointed,
For those who missed their aim.
I sing with a tearful cadence,
For one who stands in the dark,
And knows that his last best arrow
Has bounded back from the mark.
I sing for the breathless runner,
The eager, anxious soul,
Who falls with his strength exhausted
Almost in sight of the goal ;
For the hearts that break in silence,
With a sorrow all unknown ;
For those who need companions,
Yet walk their ways alone.
There are songs enough for the lovers,
Who share love's tender pain ;
I sing for the one whose passion
Is given all in vain.
For those whose spirit comrades
Have missed them on the way,
I sing with a heart o'erflowing
This minor strain to-day,
And I know the solar system
Must somewhere keep in space
A prize for that spent runner
Who barely lost the race ;
For the pain would be imperfect
Unless it held some sphere
That paid for the toil and talent
And love that are wasted here.
21
DEAR ME. A. : I sent you a letter and photo Thursday.
Did you receive it ? I deeply regret that I did not give
you my real address from the beginning. It would be too
extensive to tell you here, but I will tell it, if we ever meet,
why I did not do it. I will be very glad to see you if you
are coming to , another trip, before I go away ; if not,
we might meet next autumn. I have not yet fixed the day
for my departure. I am very busy at present and cannot
very well be spared from business before in the latter part
of May. In the meantime, I like to hear from you when-
ever you think it well to write to me.
Have I ever in my letters to you been too familiar ? If
so, kindly excuse me. Have I ever in my letters hurt
your feelings ? Forgive for that, too. Forgiveness is bet-
ter than revenge.
Keep one little thought of me.
I ask you this for friendship's sake ;
I might you never, never see.
When you another's heart have won,
Please keep one little thought of me.
MY DEAR, LOVING A. : Your very kind letter received this
morning, for which thank you ever so much. I am so glad
to know that a gentleman like you in standing and position
in life is kind enough to write to a poor stranger foreigner
like me, and at the same time I sincerely hope and trust
that you never will have reason to regret you made my ac-
quaintance. You will find me to be a lady in the full un-
derstanding of the word. I think that you are a gentle-
man, which is very scarce nowadays. They don't seem to
care for a good, virtuous girl. They don't even believe
there is one good girl out of a thousand.
You can ask me anything you wish. I will answer every
question truthfully and upright. I will not keep or con-
ceal anything from you, and I can give you the highest ref-
erences. I have never in my life done anything that I am
sorry for. The Almighty God has helped me through won-
derfully from all temptation and tempters, which I always
22
have had plenty of. I believe in matrimony and mutual
happiness, as far as the true love and affection is there, and
as sure as there is heaven to gain and a hell to shun, the
real true thing in life worth living for is love. I am very
affectionate myself and like people with the same feeling.
I wish you was here in instead of in , and I
would have a chance to see you sometimes. Anyway, I will
see you before long and write to you very often, as long as
you like it. You ought to write me a long letter and tell
me something, too. I have told you everything I have to
tell. Hoping you are well and happy, as I am. With love
and best wishes.
MY DEAR MR. A. : I have been waiting so terrible for a
letter from you ; did you not receive my letter ? I mailed
one last Thursday. My dear - , if I am not mistaken, I
have seen you once,* and if you are the party I take you to
be, you certainly are very nice looking, and I cannot help
loving you, and I think that you also ought to like me some,
even if only a little ; you now know a good deal about me,
but if you wish to know more I will tell you more ; only
ask me.
I wish you resided here, so I could have the pleasure of
seeing you sometimes. If you was here, you could come
to the house and help me compose some evenings, and that
would make it a good deal easier for me. You would not
mind, would you "? I find it harder to compose in English
than in my own language, but I hope it will come out all
right after some practice. My innermost wish is to be one
of the best poets of the age, and I would be so if I only
could study a little more; but as everything is now, it takes
all my time, ambition, and work to make a living and a few
dollars besides in case anything should happen.
I am not better off now than I was 4 or 5 years ago.
Anyway, if everything goes all right, I will start in earnest
before long to write and compose. Oh, if you was here
now, if only five minutes, I would be so happy. The more
* It was not the author, but a former friend.
23
I think of you, the more I want to think of you ; the more
I write to you, the more I like to think of you and write to
you, and before I know it I will love you. You told me to
be candid with you, and I am doing so ; in fact, I ought to
have done so 3 years ago, when you gave me a good advice,
but instead of that I sent you a sulky letter. You have
forgiven me for that, haven't you ? * You have a very for-
giving disposition anyway. What a lovely weather we have
had to-day.
I love spring and summer and like to be out in God's free
nature ; all the time, when I was a little girl, mama could
hardly keep me in the house, all the time, from the time
the snow left the field in spring until November, when it
came back again.
Summer hours are swiftly speeding,
Days that will no longer shine ;
Mortals, pass ye not unheeding,
Hear this song of mine.
I am very tired ; must close and go to bed. Write a
letter, a long letter, and think of me as much as you can
absent your mind from business. I will think of you again.
Good night, my dear, loving .
MY DEAR ME. A. : I see I was mistaken in my last letter.
I thought you were a former friend of mine. Thank you
very much for your kindness. It is indeed more than I ex-
pected from you.f I am very much both surprised and
happy to see your life career and work. I ought to have
been more than I am also, and God knows that I have
been trying hard enough to gain something in this
world. God has not put us here to eat, drink, sleep, fight,
and collect heaps of money, but also to do good to our fel-
low men and look out for another and better world. I am
a sound Christian myself and am deeply interested in all
who do something for our Savior.
* Not the author, but some other young man.
t The author told her who he was.
24
My right address you have this time. I know it was very
wicked of me not giving it to you before ; but, believe me, I
did not do it on purpose. Good night ; think of me.
MY DEAK A. : Thanks for your nice letter. Too bad that
I did not see you when you was here. I sent you letter as
soon as I received your last letter and told you my right ad-
dress. Did you not receive that ? I intended to leave
in the beginning of , but I have been very busy this
month and expect to be so for some time yet ; perhaps not
be able to go before . I like to correspond with you,
even if we don't meet before , when I return. You can
write anything to me, just as if I was your sister ; ask any-
thing you like ; trust and believe me. I judge from your
writing that you are very much of a gentleman, truthful
and upright ; that is the kind of people I like ; I am so my-
self, just as well as I am ingenious and subtle.
Kindly write to me again.
MY DEAR A. : I will not be in any other day. I will be
very glad to see you personally. You need not bother by
writing if you are very busy ; if you are not too busy, you
know it is a great pleasure to me to receive your letters.
Thanking you ever so much for what you sent me yesterday.
MY DEAR LOVING A. : Why did you not come up to see
me since ? I have been thinking of you ever since. I sup-
pose you are deceitful, like the rest of your sex. It won't
hurt you to love me if only a little, and at the same time
you would do something good. You would make a poor
innocent alone creature like me feel happy. Don't laugh at
my funny expression, darling ; I simply say what I feel, as
you told me. It is nine long years since I was so contented
as I was last Sunday when I was with you. It is pretty
hard for a girl with a heart as big as a barrel to have no one
to love and care for. Kindly don't judge me hard ; I am by
no means bad, but I say what I think. Please write me a
25
letter before the 12th and I will be very much thankful to
you.
Like one who dreams a horrid dream
I saw your heart beat through your eyes ;
And in that moment I became
A frozen corpse that never dies.
Oh, , blasted be the guile
Which makes your very nature base ;
You hide your heart behind a smile
A with an angel's face.
Kindly send me a letter, like a good fellow, but do it be-
fore I go away. Think of me and I will think of you again.
So long.
NORWAY.
MY DEAR MR. A : I have been thinking of you so often,
and I cannot help it, I must write to you. The of I
left New York. The weather was fine for 2 days, but then
it broke out, and for 5 days we had a terrible storm, so
hard that I was afraid the ship would turn over every
minute. A young man died of consumption and was bur-
ied on the middle of the ocean. Another man was very
ill ; they expected him to die, but he was alive when I left
the ship. It took us 13 days to cross the ocean. I was
very sick ; did not eat anything at all for 4 days. I am not
well yet from the journey. I have a lovely time now; my
native country is beautiful, even if it is not so rich as
America. Yet, I have not been away much, but expect to
travel a good deal this summer and see as many places as
possible. I only live once and mast get as much out of it
as possible while I am here.
I have been thinking to myself and wondering if you
ever do think of me. I wish you was here a few minutes,
and I would love you as much as a woman can love. Don't
get insulted ; I am not bad. I must close ; it is dark.
Good night.
The following letter illustrates the changeableness of
woman's nature. The author wrote Miss G., giving some
26
advice and suggestions ; he had nothing but the best of
intentions. She was at the time in her native country, and
he thought it an opportune moment to advise her to remain
there and study poetry and not return to America ; that
she would have a better opportunity and in the end there
would be more chances for her to succeed. But, as the
letter indicates, she interpreted him somewhat differently.
DEAK ME. A. : Your kind letter received, for which thanks,
and I am very much obliged to you for your good advice.
You are really too good for this world. Some time ago
you met me and were pleasant to me ; now you don't want
me in your country. You might think that you have done
me a favor, but I take it as an insult. For instance, if I
told you to return to Scotland and study woman and baby
heads, would you not think that I ought to mind my own
business I Who has more right to America than I have ?
Nobody but my countrymen found America, more than a
thousand years back. I have made my living in America
a good many years much better than I can make it here.
By 4 hours work a day I can make a better living than any
man will give me. Norway is not big enough for me. The
trains don't go fast enough. I cannot get around fast
enough. I have done enough for my country. They don't
understand me, and I don't understand them. I have made
more money in America by composing a few poems than I
have made in Norway composing, printing, and publishing
10,000 books. Most part of it I gave to the poor, and not
even one said as much as " thank you. r
A prophet is never esteemed in his own country. I
started to study here when I was 17, and I would have
finished by 22, but things we don't expect often come and
change everything. It was only by a chance I came to
America. I was engaged to a young, free-hearted, hand-
some, talented lieutenant ; he was one of the handsomest
and brightest men I have ever seen. When he was 27 years
old he mastered 9 languages to perfection. He had one
fault, and that was a bad one he liked strong drinks ; got
27
in trouble with his father's servant girl. I could have had
him, but after that I did not care to, as I thought he could
marry the one he had put in trouble. That changed my
career, made me unhappy and restless, and I will never
love another one ; besides that, my family became very poor.
I went to America to try to forget my trouble, and when I
became a little acquainted there I liked it much better
than in my own country. I intended to study in America,
as I thought it much more profitable for me, but on ac-
count of losing a good deal of money in business that was
prevented also. But now I am up again, and can begin
my studies any time not here, but in America. I mean to
go to college, but I really don't know. My principal task
is to study men, and there is no better chance to study
them than in America. The personal column is the medium
I use. There I find all classes, nationality, and rank, and
my innermost desire is to, once in my life, be able to write
and publish something about it. It cuts my heart to see how
people live there all the unchastity, lewdness, debauchery,
dissoluteness, extravagance, and wildness. In the six years
I have been working on it, I have learned a good deal ;
mighty few of them is fit to be in existence. You tell me
not to marry " yet" but if you, like a friend, would give
me a good advice, you would advise me to nevei marry at
all ; not because I don't believe in marriage, but because
some is nothing but a lottery, and very few succeed, and a
woman who can support herself is fool to marry. I know
what I have, but I don't know what I might get. It is too
late to go back when one is in it. Nothing is like freedom.
I could not travel the world around if I had a husband to
please. I loved one ; he was the first, the last, and the only
one; his face, form, deportment, and countenance was
enough to drive any woman mad. Now, I will, like true
friend, give you a few points. If I was you, I would not at
all try to marry. You will hardly ever be happy in the
matrimonial state. You might be unhappy before you
know it yourself. First is disagreement, then quarrel, al-
tercation and dispute, to separation and divorce. I do not,
for anything, wish you to get in anything of that kind, for
28
I really commenced to like you a little bit. Those who ad-
vertise in the papers are four kinds adventurers, loose and
dissolute women, fortune hunters, and those who want to
get married so bad and cannot be, for nobody wants them.
America has plenty of everything, except good women.
Ninety per cent, is not fit. to be wife and mother. Do as I
have told you, and you will succeed. I like you to be happy.
I have a splendid time now. I have been in Denmark
and Skaure a trip. Four of us were going to Australia the
26th of this, but a occurrence happens to one of the party
fell down from a window in second floor, and broke 4 ribs,
so we are not going now. It would take about ten months
to go and come back. I like to travel ; it is my life. If I
was rich I would be traveling all the time. I must close ; I
have no time to write more. I have three more letters to
write to-day, and it is 7 o'clock already. Excuse my bad
writing. Hoping you are well and happy.
THINGS NEVEB DONE.
Greater deeds than have been seen,
Brighter songs than the poet has sung
Are the things that are dreamed and tried,
But which have never been done.
The fairest picture the artist paints
Is hung on the wall of his brain,
On his canvas rests but a shadow faint
Of what he wished to attain.
For, strive as we may, we cannot grasp
The visions that lure us on ;
They are ever held in our mental clasp,
And our best is never done.
But this fancy does oft my senses woo,
That perhaps in the world to come
We shall find the things we have tried to do,
But which have never been done.
Miss G. gave the author a false address, and so he did not
find her in his first call. He had about made up his mind
to drop the matter ; but on writing to Miss G. the circum-
29
stance she gave him a new address, by which he met her.
Miss G. is rather short and stout, and a blonde ; is not pre-
possessing ; is physically coarse, but, like many natures of
this type, she possessed much mental alacrity and fineness.
She gave every evidence that she was a perfectly respect-
able girl, but rather indiscreet in manifesting her peripheral
sentiment. Miss G. is of a womanly nature, and what she
needed and desired was the companionship of a good hus-
band and a home.
Such a desire is certainly normal, but the way of her
manifestation is somewhat peculiar, if not abnormal.
CASE 7 MES. H.
In reply to your advertisement of this date will say : I
will be pleased to write occasionally " pour passer le temps ; "
but you certainly cannot expect " a woman of high social
and financial position " to give a u detailed account of her
life," unless she knows to whom she is writing. When you
reveal your real self you can then expect me to do the same.
DEAR SIR : I am in receipt of your letter, and in reply
must tell you that I think that I have misunderstood the
meaning of your adv. It is not before me now, and can-
not recall to mind the exact reading of it, but as it im-
pressed me at the time of reading, it was not an ordinary
adv. but a correspondence that might be carried on as a
mutual pleasure and improvement. My position is such
that I could not go into particulars to a stranger. You
may hear from me again. You will appreciate my position,
I hope.
Yours of the 7th just reached me. Thanks for the en-
closed letter. You ask for some account of myself. Why
not set me the example of confidence and tell me a little of
to
yourself ? Such as your age, business, nationality. I will
tell you this much : My home is at present in , but
have lived here only a few months ; expect to be here for
awhile, when I will leave for the summer. If you will be a
little explicit, I will then tell you more.
If you speak truly concerning yourself (and I have no
reason to doubt you), I must tell you that I am in the same
position. The little I dare tell you of myself cannot be of
interest, for my position and surroundings will not permit
my ever knowing you, and can give no reason for address-
ing you the first time, except utter loneliness and a desire to
break through conventionalities. From the first, I knew it
was impossible for this communication to go very far, but
it is human to do the things we ought not to, and fear
these letters are one of the things which would have been
better left undone. However, if it is of any interest to you,
will write in answer to yours, provided you never insist
upon a closer acquaintance than will exist through corre-
spondence. Your advertisement led me to think that you
would not ask anything further, hence my first letter. I
should have thought deeper before starting on such a child-
ish freak, but if agreeable to you it will be of interest to
me to continue until at least you show a disposition to drop.
What do you say ; are you satisfied with the condition "?
My position is peculiar, and could not afford to rim any
risk, socially or otherwise. Will be pleased to hear from
you again.
It seems to me I understand you exactly, know exactly
what you need in a friend, and think if we were acquainted
we would find much that is congenial, but just now do not
see the way clear.
And now, what shall I say further 1 To me it seems best
to stop right here and await your reply ; that is, if you are
still of the same mind.
31
I had ceased expecting to hear from you again when your
letter of the 4th reached me. Reason told me it was best,
but I would not be a woman if curiosity had not taken a
little hold of me and made me wish to know at least the
name of my correspondent. Before I would ask you to
reveal yourself, will you not tell me of your profession, sur-
roundings, &c. ? Are you a scientist? While you are mak-
ing up your mind to write me what I ask, I will be gaining
courage to tell you more myself. Another question, are
you married ? We may have already met, " quien sabe f "
If not, possibly may do so in the future, " accidentally or
incidentally," as you say. Anything you may choose to
write will be of interest. Shall I hear soon ?
Yours of yesterday just received, and certainly feel some
qualms of conscience for the part I have taken in this cor-
respondence. After reading your two letters of the 7th, I
at first thought to see you as you suggest and tell you the
whole truth concerning myself. Your face, or at least the
picture enclosed, is a familiar one ; and if you should see
me, will no doubt recognize me as the wife of a well-
known - . Yes, I am married, but am away from home
and friends, and long for such companionship as you name.
I am not a girl, but a woman. Society (as it is called) is a
bore to me, but my position demands that I shall give cer-
tain portions of my time to it, but that is all. I find no
companionship here. Have not met even one man or woman
since I have lived here that I can call friend ; few under-
stand me, hence live within myself. I see and feel condem-
nation. To write this to you seems the right thing to do,
for you have been very fair and open to me. You can trust
me entirely. If I knew more than I do your name, for
instance it would be sacred.
I intend going this afternoon at 5 to the place desig-
nated, but do not believe my courage will be sufficient to
reveal myself.
You probably did see me the other afternoon, but, as you
say, I would no doubt have run away if you had addressed
32
me. It was too risky, as I thought I recognized a familiar
face standing near by.*
There is nothing left for me to tell since the declaration
of a few days ago. There is no doubt but that we have
mutual friends. Now, here is a proposition ! Tell me your
name and leave it with me to find a way to be formally intro-
duced. What do you say ? I can assure you you can trust
me. You will believe this if you ever know me.
Did you receive my letter of the ? Not having any
reply, thought it likely I had misdirected it.
Possibly you cannot make up your mind to reveal your-
self. Well, I don't wish to be importunate. You must do
as you tlrink best.
Let me hear how you feel about it.
Yours of this morning received, and feel a little pique,
that you allowed my former letter to remain unanswered
in fact, ignored altogether possibly forgotten until re-
minded of its or my existence by the receipt of the few
lines written yesterday ; but how can I expect anything
else?
Would you be surprised if I should tell you your name,
and also something about yourself that you at this moment
think are known only to yourself ? Well, I can, but won't
now ; but you are not entirely a stranger to me, and will be
surprised to find in me, perhaps, an old acquaintance.
Now, that) I am sure, will frighten you, and you will not
put in an appearance Sat. at can you say 4.30? Let me
hear how you like the idea of old acquaintance beiDg re-
sumed.
Mrs. H., in an interview, said : " I married my husband
out of pique. He is a very kind friend to me ; he studies
* The author had written Mrs. H. that when he arrived in the city
he would meet her in a certain place in the afternoon. Mrs. H. came
near the place and looked and hesitated, but went away.
33
most of the time. He is a friend, but nothing more to me.
The way I came to answer your personal was this : I had a
young lady friend who was very much struck with a young
and gay man. She saw the personal and thought possibly
it might be his. She was afraid to answer it, and asked me
to for her. I did, and at first I suspected it was her friend,
and she did also from the handwriting, which looked like
his disguised. But when you told me your name, etc., I
informed her positively that it was not her friend. I would
not want her to know that I kept up your acquaintance.
You can never trust a woman in such matters. Poor goose,
she is going to marry a fellow of little good, I think."
Mrs. H. is a thorough lady, moving in the highest circles
in society of one of the largest cities in the world ; was a
widow when she married her present husband ; is attract-
ive, stout, well educated, and intelligent. Her husband
does not pay her enough attention, although he is very
kind to her as a friend. The real reason she continued the
acquaintance was that she felt lonely and desired more com-
pany. She said she hardly knew she had a husband, as he
was studying so much.
Least sensibility to locality (sesthesiometer) : r. wrist, 19
mm. ; 1. wrist, 18 mm.
Least sensibility to heat (thermsesthesiometer) : r. wrist,
2 ; 1. wrist, 2.
Least sensibility to pain (algometer) : r. hand 3 kilos, ; 1.
hand, 2^ kilos.
These measurements indicate that Mrs. H. is more ob-
tuse to sense of locality than the average, but is more acute
in sensibility to heat and pain than the average person.
In this case conditions are abnormal rather than the per-
son.
CASE 8 Miss I.
In looking over the personal columns in the your ad-
vertisement met my eye. To be honest, I must confess at
once that, in what seems one essential, I cannot meet your
wishes. Socially, I and my family have always been well
considered. I have lived in an atmosphere of the highest
culture since my birth ; but, financially, I may, without
wishing to assume the garb of humility, exclude myself
from the list of the wealthy. With the subtle sense that
must characterize any one wishing to profit by the finer
elements of such a correspondence as you evidently desire,
I am sure you will understand the motives which prompt
me to withhold my real name and the necessary contin-
gent a reference. A woman entering upon a correspond-
ence with an unknown man, would that be womanly in
the larger interpretation of the word ?
Of my life I am willing to give you an outline, should
you desire it, later. In outward incident it has been lived
in comparative peace, supplemented by much that can only
be experienced within. Hoping for a reply, I am,
GENERAL DELIVERY.
I am glad to find, by your letter received yesterday, that
my financial disabilities have proven no barrier to our
friendship epistolary. This speaks very well for you, as I
feared that this tone in your advertisement had a little of
the tincture of the mercenary. I am glad also to find my
error. I fear that I do not feel yet inclined to disclose my
identity, but I do not quite understand why you should
hesitate to declare your own. As one of the lords of
creation, you would be but filling your proper position in
the matter, whereas both nature and politics have accorded
me, the woman, a secondary place in the universal scheme.
I too would fulfil my natural vocation in a guarded retire-
ment. The outline of my life I find rather difficult to em-
body in phraseology that shall not be tiresome. It is
almost as if I had been arraigned before the court with the
35
questions, "your birth, domicile, occupation," etc., or, as if
I were about to begin a novel in some such wise as the
following : " She was the child of humble but honest
parents.'' But this would not fit the case at all, as they
were not humble folk, but gentle people, and their fore-
fathers for generations. Will you excuse details, then, and
I plunge in medias res. I am one of the children a clever
lot, all of them musical, literary, artistic in many ways,
full of life, buoyant spirits with occasional lapses into deep
depression. My father was widely known. All my life
has been passed within the precincts of this town, with the
exception of two years abroad. I will dilate on this later.
I believe I was a dreamy child, very dependent upon affec-
tion, and looking out upon the world with inquiring gaze
(the two are not incompatible), a character as to which I
have maintained until the present hour. I am not and
never have been a society person, its insincerity having re-
volted and oppressed me. Will not this satisfy you for
the present, and will you not seek for a fuller expression
of myself by the means of this very romantic correspond-
ence which we are entering upon ?
Instead, I will give you a description of myself, and if
you are clever you will read between the lines and judge
for yourself. I am rather tall than otherwise, my height
being about 5 feet 6 ; am well made, and though I dress
with simplicity, there is, I am sure, much personality about
my appearance. In face, I have been told often that I
am fair to look on although this comeliness only dawns
upon some undiscriminating persons after some acquaint-
ance. A Madonna face, it is called fair, oval, blue-eyed
delicate-featured these eyes having a sincere, baby-like ex-
pression ; hair nut brown, varied by a glint of the auburn
and gold, fluffy and profuse, ornamenting a broad, well-
shaped head. The mouth is too large for beauty, but is
expressive, and filled with glistening teeth. Yes, Madonna-
like perhaps, but only in repose ; in converse, on the con-
trary, mobile, and full of a hopeful human expression. Of
course, I am not responsible for my good looks, and there-
fore for this description I need not offer any apology. How
do you like me ? And now for yourself !
36
The brevity of your letter disappointed me. What are
these responsible duties and serious studies which prevent
you from writing at more length? Are you engaged in
solving some of the mighty problems of the day, or do you
seek the elixir of life I In the description of yourself will
you include answers to these questions ? And, of course,
should you give real identity, I shall believe you under pa-
role. The romantic element in you pleases me much.
It is both hopeful and suggestive. But .why, if the
"tone" of my answer pleases you, should you advertise
again in the , where I saw the same " personal " ? Ah !
perfidious man, do not natter ! I will go to the P. O. again
Saturday or Monday, hoping to receive a longer letter.
MY DEAR MR. A. : Your letter only received this after-
noon. Please excuse pencil, as I have just returned from
the theatre and it is midnight. For reasons better ex-
plained than written, I cannot see you in my mother's house,
but a friend gives me the privilege of receiving my friends
in her reception room, and I shall be glad to see you any
evening you mention, and at that time I will reveal my true
identity. However, you cannot send a letter to the above
address, as my nom de plume is unknown. Answer as
usual. You will receive this to-morrow, and if you will re-
ply at once, I will receive your answer at the P. O. in the
afternoon.
DEAR MR. A. : Thursday evening is the only one of this
week that I have disengaged. Will you kindly let me know
if you will call on me then.
MY DEAR MR. A. : As I should have some arrangements
to make with my friend, and you do not seem able to make
any engagement in advance, it looks does it not ? as if we
were destined not to meet. But tell me, do you wish to
correspond ? If it is to be interesting, I shaft be very glad
to do my part, but I confess that I feel no great enthusiasm
37
toward writing eight pages and receiving a meagre one or
two page letter in reply. Forgive my frankness and let
me hear from you in response. I will call at the P. O. on
Saturday.
You spoke of the possibility of being able to call Tuesday
evening. On that evening I have an engagement.
MY DEAR MR. A. : As there are three ladies at my friend's, it
would be difficult for you to inquire for my particular friend.
The latter I cannot see until some time to-morrow, when I
will ask her permission to give you her name. Instead of
going immediately to her, I'll call for a letter at the P. O.
I will send a letter addressed there to your name, telling
you how to find her should you desire to do so.
Should I not hear from you in propria persona, I will call
again at the P. O. I accept your plea of overwork provis-
ionally ; but I don't understand your advertisement.
MY DEAR MR. A. : I have my friend's permission to give
you her name, so if you will call on her she will arrange that
we shall meet (if so desired).
The author called according to appointment, and was
somewhat hurriedly received by the lady of the house. As
following letter will show, Miss " I." did not seem to expect
him although she had agreed to meet him. The conversa-
tion was short, since the giggling of Miss" I's " friends in an-
other room could be distinctly heard. It was too humor-
ous, and author was relieved to get away. He had come in
a drenching rain.
MY DEAR MR. A. : I feel that I owe you an apology for the
mismanagement of things in general, although I am so far
free from any intent to offend that I know not exactly in what
essential I have failed. Truth to say, the interview with
38
you the other evening was so hurried that I am scarcely
surprised that it proved unsatisfactory. In the first place,
I had begun to look upon you in the light of a myth, hav-
ing certain powers, undefined, making your presence felt
(and I am not a spiritualist), but of whose corporeal exist-
ence there was cause for doubt. In consequence, I did not
feel at all sure that you would arrive last week, and so made
my engagements in accordance with this belief. I was just
about to set forth with my friends when you rang the bell.
Of course you know that you were late (and I do not wonder,
in such a storm), I was already much behind time with my
engagement, and I was painfully conscious all the time I was
speaking with you that my friends were waiting for me ; I
did not notice till afterward that I had not even asked you
to be seated, and, together with my hurried dismissal of you,
I fell into a state of absolute disgust with myself. This is my
share of the blame. Can you forgive me ? And now for
your . I have a deep objection to be judged, as a rule,
after the genus and not after the type, but from what you said
of your interest in women, I fully thought that you would
understand one woman, and would consequently feel the
certitude that I intended to meet you at my friend's last
evening. That I donned my newest summer rig (to do you
honor) ; that I went to my friend's to dinner with the ex-
pectation of seeing you later, is now a matter of personal
history. I really looked forward to seeing you, to hearing
of your interests, your views, and to a possible ventilation
of my own opinions, in which I hoped you would feel an
interest. Imagine, therefore, my disappointment and the
wound to my vanity, if you can, upon receiving only your
few lines.*
I hope that you will tell me all about yourself ; and I
want this from a purely personal standpoint. I choose my
friends absolutely for what I find them to be riches, sta-
tion mean nothing to me ; even scholarship is of no value
in my eyes, except in so far as it develops the personality of
* Miss I. would not promise for certain that she would meet him at
same place the next evening ; and so author left it uncertain as to
himself, finally sending word that he was not coming.
39
him who has attained it. Therefore, be as frank as you
have asked me to be. In the matter of our correspondence,
I trust that you will feel at liberty to write as often or as
seldom as you are inclined. My mention of your derelic-
tions in this respect was due to the peculiar circumstances
of the case, as, of course, as you advertised for a corre-
spondent, I could not quite comprehend your lack of re-
sponse. My nom de plume I am going to ask you to re-
spect, for the simple reason that under it I shall be able to
write to you with more freedom than if you associated me
with my real name. My letters in this way, I hope, will be
free from one of my greatest faults, for, although you may
not credit it from such of my letters as you have received,
I am by nature intensely reserved, and perhaps this was at
the root of all the misunderstanding the other evening.
Well, I am granting your request of an " opportunity to
make amends," and I shall expect to hear from you.
MY DEAR MR. A : You have given me a hearty laugh be
glad ; as for me, it is always a thing of enjoyment. Of
course I could not help being amused at the means for-
warded* to make your further acquaintance. My penetra-
tion must be keen, since, in reading between the lines, I
felt that you were interested in the study of psychol-
ogy. But do you wish me to accept " the professor "
as a literal interpretation of yourself ? Surely you are not
that cold, calculating, bloodless person ? You would not,
for instance, see me run the whole gamut of the emotions and
feel no human thrill only a scientific ? I believe you look
upon me as a " specimen. " I do not in the least care.
Study me all you will through my letters, through personal
interviews for, of course, I expect to see you again. You
shall see me in every mood, as the desire springs spotane-
ously ; only, if you do, I will make you pay for it. I am
not trained scientifically in the methods of psychology, but
nothing has interested me in life so much as the human
entity. I know the human heart and I warn you fairly
*A novel in which author's character was exaggerated in some points.
40
from the start, that if you study me as the " professor '
did, I will make you pay for the privilege.
To use your own words, " ask me questions, and I shall
be pleased to answer." I really cannot enter into the detail
of my own life. I would not know where to commence.
MY DEAR MR. A. : Of course I cannot tell you the pay-
ment required for the privilege of studying me. Are you
not coming again ? I should very much like to see you.
You must know that I am a business woman, and, like a
man with the same kind of occupation, I cannot leave my
work for long.
The freedom with which I shall write will depend upon
the way you draw me out. Consider how you have placed
us both, under ordinary social conditions, by requiring my
name, although our friendship shall I call it thus I was
commenced in the romantic spirit of which we both know.
I must ask you to excuse these few Hues this week. Yes-
terday, the time I had expected to devote to my letters
was given over to a stupid caller instead, and to-day I am
utterly stupid. So, write to me soon and at length.
MY DEAR MR. A. : I only received your note last evening,
or I should have answered it at once. You know now there
was only a delay in my usual weekly letter. I am almost
struck dumb with amazement,* for I know Mr. Z. P. well,
having formed his acquaintance in Europe when he and
you and I were all there together. Mr. Z. P. has often
metioned your name, and I have heard of you also through
another friend. But the queerest part of all this wonderful
tale is that I have some faint recollection of having met
you once in Europe. Did you ever hear anything so weird,
uncanny, but so interesting and nice ? Some occult power
must have constructed this web.
Write to me soon, I beg, and believe me.
* The author incidentally referred in a letter to Z. P., an old friend
of his.
41
MY DEAR MR. A. : " Fellows don't mention names of girls*
(always) who are flames." It would be better, perhaps, to
evade answering the above altogether. You are not a suc-
cess as a speculative thinker ; you had better stick to sci-
ence. A " flame " of theirs or are they " old flames " of mine.
To acknowledge or deny either would be to place myself in
an embarrassing position. I should either break a confi-
dence or inflict a wound upon my vanity, and I am not
equal to the emergency.
Mr. Z. P. and I have been good friends since we met in
Europe. I believe he went to the mountains the summer
I returned home. Your speculations are correct in this>
that I saw him when he was " trying to reform the social
conditions." Do you know that you ask a great deal when
you expect long letters from me in exchange for your short
ones ? How will you make amends when you see me ?
When shall I see you ? Let me hear from you soon, and
please try to send longer letters. I know you must have
much to do, but so also have I, and I do become very restive
under the present arrangement. Tell me about your pres-
ent work, and if, apart from this, you have other interests.
MY DEAR MR. A. : I thought that I met you in Europe ;
but no matter, we met ; you remember it and that is
enough. I was in Europe two summers. I was suffering
from nervous prostration , brought on by severe eye trouble.
Life has been to me, in consequence of this, very much of
a failure. Systematic training of every kind, I have had
none. " Meine augen sind schuld daran," that I have never
entered the lists. Nevertheless, my sojourn in Europe was
a source of great pleasure to me, and whatever development
I have gained dates from that period.
It is always difficult to speak about myself, and especially
now, as there seems so much more of sorrow than of any-
thing else to report of the last ten years. I would repress the
recital of this, but I do not know how to admit you to the at-
mosphere of my life without mentioning the two factors which
* Author hinted that Mr. Z. P. was an " old flame."
42
have had so large a part in determining it. One is my own
personal sorrow, which I have mentioned, and the other en-
veloped us all my father's failure. His creditors received
everything he had in the world ; there has not been much
lse for us all to do than try how best to help ourselves.
Nevertheless our misfortunes have often been a source of
amusement as well as trial, and many is the laugh we have
had at our own expense. Perhaps, too, this is due to the
hardihood of certain racial characteristics, and I smile here,
as I think, did you wish to study me, what a good opportu-
nity offers itself for classification.
"Until lately I taught in school, but the life was too con-
fining. Moreover, my individuality was entirely obliterated.
I was not honest, and I vowed this season I would cut away
and make a path for myself in some other field. The work
now is hard, but there is fresh air attached to it ; it may
mean freedom and independence, and I long for both.
DEAE A. : You must remember, in regard to women, that
society has imposed such a system of reserve upon them,
that it is not always easy for them to throw it off. If they
were as free and natural as men, they would be misunder-
stood and misinterpreted in ninety-nine cases out of a hun-
dred. In addition to such ordinary social conditions, I
have had a curiously repressed life, from the simple reason
that when I was growing up, etc., I never was understood
by those around me, and for the sake of peace I bore it all.
Peace is sometimes too dearly bought, but such is my na-
ture and I can't help it. But don't think I blame anybody.
It is not that. They did not see, and no one can be blamed
for mental obscurities. After that affair* which I men-
tioned, I was so utterly miserable that often and often I
felt like taking my own life, and but for the thought of the
trouble it would bring to others, I believe I should have
done so. Don't be shocked and horrified. That mania is
over. A few days since, but for the presence of mind of
the driver of a heavy wagon, I should have been run over,
* Love affair, in which the man deserted her.
43
and, when I recovered from the shock, it was to experience
a deep pleasure in being still alive. Perhaps I am finding,
as you say, that there is still some fun to be had in rowing
about, even in a boat full of holes. The bottom has been
kicked out of mine, and life has been a dead, dead failure,
but I evidently think there is something to be had in floun-
dering about in the water. There is now only one strong
hope in me to gain in some way financial independence.
Other independence the right to think and feel as the plan
of my nature ordained I have won by years of inward
straggle, but it is there, and, no matter what happens, it
can't be taken away from me.
Miss I. seems to have a somewhat nervous temperament,
that otherwise might not appear, if it were not brought out
by uuhappy experiences or misfortunes.
Her psycho-neural measurements are :
Least sensibility to locality : r. wrist, 15 mm. ; 1. wrist,
15 mm.
Least sensibility to heat : r. wrist, 5; 1. wrist, 7.
Least sensibility to pain : r. hand, 2f kilos ; 1. hand, 2J
kilos.
Least electrical hypnotic sensibility : r. hand, 2J kilos ; 1.
hand, 2f kilos.
Strength of r. h. grasp, 44 kilos ; of 1. h. grasp, 35 kilos.
Max. length of head, 187 mm. ; max. width of head, 153
mm.
Cephalic index, 81.
Miss I. is comparatively obtuse to sense of heat (left
wrist especially), and comparatively acute to sense of
pain; she is rather long-headed than short (dolicocephalic).
Her strength of hand-grasp is above the average. As for
electrical hypnotic sensibility, the instrument to measure
pain by pressure in the hands was used. It was suggested
that the instrument gave electrical feeling by pressure,
44
which was not the case, of course. Miss I. felt the sug-
gested electrical current, showing a certain tendency to hyp-
notism.
Miss I. has a particularly fine and kind disposition. Her
esthetical sense, as manifested in feeling, is noteworthy.
She represents a class of young, refined women who need
and really desire a home, but who, by unfortunate condi-
tions, are alone, without any very definite object in life.
They are too refined to marry any man who is vulgar or
coarse, and so have remained single. This illustrates a
want of social arrangement where people of mutual adap-
tation may meet ; for too many human souls go through
life in an abnormal way, who might have met and found
the best thing in life a loving and true companion. Such
matters are left too much to accident or incident.
CASE 9. Miss J.
MY DEAR SIR : Your kind letter written me in I beg
to acknowledge, though I have hesitated considerably in
replying, as I have adopted a somewhat unconventional
method of acquiring a desirable friendship of a gentleman.
I hesitate to express myself even now*, and should not,
probably, have been tempted to reply if I had not noticed
the advertisement you put in yesterday's paper, which leads
me to think possibly you have sincerity and integrity in
your motives.
You sent me a newspaper clipping, and I should be
pleased to know more of you. I will give you my correct
name and address in strictest confidence.
MON CHER MONSIEUR : I was pleased to receive your letter,
and hasten to reply. I should like very much for you to
* Miss J. is not so timid as might be inferred ; she seems to have
used the personal column a good deal.
45
give me a description of yourself, and in the manner most
agreeable to you, so I can become acquainted with you at
the same time.
I have not as yet had the opportunity to get the books
you wrote of, but hope to later, and know I shall take pleas-
ure in them. I hope I shall have the pleasure of seeing
you some time.
I should like to have a photo of yours. I have none of
myself at present, but will have some later and will send you
one. I shall be interested in anything you wish to write,
and wish you to speak freely without being questioned, or
while you are so much of a stranger to me, and I will gain
confidence in you, and can exchange thoughts freely.
GENTLEMAN :* In reply to you I would state that I am a
cultured young lady, highly connected, refined, bright and
attractive appearing, light hair, and blue eyes.
I am studying music in the city at the present time, and
would appreciate the acquaintance of a refined gentleman,
one who would appreciate an affectionate disposition. I
wish to assure you of the integrity of my motives in resort-
ing to such an unconventional method of obtaining a de-
sirable acquaintance.
Trusting you with this little confidence, I am.
Miss J. looked to be about 21 years of age, of medium
build, pleasant disposition, rather quiet in conversation, but
could not be called pretty. She had answered a " personal "
of a prominent university professor. She said he wrote a
good letter, but when he called he seemed a little " old
granny," so she did not encourage him in continuing the ac-
quaintance.
Miss J. walked to the newspaper office with the author, to
get answers to an advertisement for new quarters she had
* This letter is in answer to another advertisement of the author.
46
inserted. She confessed that curiosity made her answer
" personals."
Her mother and father were dead ; she had a brother ;
her sister was married to a minister.
There was nothing in her acts or words to throw any sus-
picion upon her character, yet the fact (as shown by last
two letters) that she seemed to be answering "personals"
regularly is not favorable ; while no doubt curiosity led her
on, yet it was evident she desired to marry. She seemed to
have nothing special to do.
CASE 10 Miss K.
SIE : Noting your adv. would say that I am alone in New
York and desire company.
Am also tired of living as I do. Am 21, and a bookkeeper,
employed in a down -town manufacturing house.
Am not pretty, but refined and sincere.
Should be pleased to hear from you.
(Gives name and address.)
Miss K. was entirely ignorant of the doubtful nature of
a personal advertisement. She had been bookkeeper in a
firm which had moved to the city she was in. She had
heard that pleasant acquaintances were made in this way, so
answered author's " personal."
She said she wanted her sister to come on and be with
her. Although work was harder here, she liked it. When
told of the nature of many " personals," she held her head
down and said very little.
It would seem that, coming to a new city, she felt lonely.
The absence of her sister, and the idea that pleasant com-
pany might be obtained through a " personal," are the cause
47
of her answering. Her behavior indicated that she was a
novice.
CASE 11. MRS. L.
DEAR SIR : I know and realize this is a very hazardous
attempt for a lady, namely, answer an advertisement ; but
the one you have inserted appears quiet, gentlemanly, and
adapted to a refined or cultivated taste, hence I venture to
answer.
Not just knowing my bearing, I find it a little difficult to
write. However, I am supposed to think you desire to
know something of the writer. I am not egotistical enough
to enjoy writing of self ; however, will give you a brief sum-
mary.
To commence with, will state I dislike deception, or any-
thing pertaining to the act of deceiving or misleading I
would not practice, so please to know what I state is sin-
cere and truthful. I will treat all communications as a lady
ought, and beg the same treatment of my own.
I am educated in all common branches ; also music, both
piano and violin ; not very old, but of womanly mind ; very
evenly dispositioned, perhaps well, affectionate ; medium
height ; no relations but one sister ; some means ; few ac-
quaintances here. Should you conclude to answer, and I
am pleased, I may ask you to call ; we can then better judge.
If you do not care to continue, I kindly ask that you destroy
this answer. A letter would reach me addressed
MR. A. : I see you do not allow me to understand my
bearing, and state you would be pleased to call. Well, I
have thoughtfully considered. If it pleases your con-
venience, I will see you this evening, directly after eight.
I have no engagement, hence I answer so promptly. You
ring the bell, not too quick fearful I may not hear. Our
apartments are quite large, and should I by chance be in
front part, unless you hold bell a second, possibly I would
not hear.
48
Mrs. L. seemed to be quite innocent of the doubtful na-
ture of a personal advertisement. She had lost her little
child, and had come to the city with her sister to live for a
few months and then return to their home in the country.
She desired a few acquaintances, saw the " personal " and
thought it would be a nice way to meet nice gentlemen.
When told of the general nature of such advertisements,
she was rather surprised and did not desire to talk about
it. She had been married twice ; her first husband was
dead ; she was separated from her second husband, but
would not say why. She seemed to be without any special
vocation ; she said she would like to be a nun. She had only
a grammar-school education, but thought it sufficient to
be a nun and trained nurse ; she liked to care for the sick.
Mrs. L. is very slight, but tall ; very delicate in appear-
ance, rather refined in her way. She looks as if she had
had a great deal of trouble.
Mrs. L. emphasizes disliking " deception," etc. This ten-
dency to praise one's own admiration of honesty is quite
common among the correspondents. But one has the feel-
ing that they don't dislike deception as a principle more
than, or perhaps as much, as other people. It seems in
many cases to be a personal grievance, for they often com-
plain that they have been deceived by their husbands or
other men, or some one.
The following letters are from correspondents whom the
author did not meet or call upon.
CASE 12. Miss M.
In glancing over the advertisements of to-day, not from
any motive perhaps prompted by curiosity your lines
49
appealed to me, because of being extremely fond of corre-
sponding with a man of mind, anxious at all times to be
lifted above the ordinary sphere. Therefore shall be glad
if my communication will meet your approval. How-
ever, I must be perfectly frank, and say I am not prepared
in the beginning to do all you ask, viz., giving real name
and references. You must know, in this age of suspicion
and fraud, a woman runs great risk in placing herself in
such close relationship with a stranger giving out her
every thought.
It seems to me needless to speak of social position ; one's
style of diction, etc., should speak for itself, and you may
rest assured I will not call upon you for a donation. I am
no longer a girl, but have ripened into womanhood, which
may not meet with your approbation, and ? tis only just that
we should have a fair understanding at the start.
I trust this signature will meet with a response, and I
will say in advance
" Auf Wiedersehn."
P. S. I have been deliberating until now whether or not
I should send this.
The postscript indicates that it is not the habit of Miss
M. to answer advertisements.
CASE 13. MKS. N.
In answer to your advertisement in the , in regard
of wanting to correspond with a lady, I am a young widow
of a physician, of a good family, and a good social stand-
ing. This is the first time I have answered anything of
that kind ; therefore think it prudent not to say so much
until after you have answered. Hoping this will prove
satisfactory, I remain yours
MY DEAJR SIR : I suppose you think it strange not hearing
from me before this. I have been quite ill ; could not take
50
enough interest in life to write. Feel a little better now.
You say you would like to hear something of my life.
Well, the last year has been a very sad one for me. I am
a girl, married to a physician two years ago, and lived more
than happily, until he met with an accident which caused
his death ; and if I could only die, how happy I would be.
I am living with my mother, but it does not seem as before
I was married. And I am lively. I have had offers since
my husband's death ; do not care enough for any one to
marry. So I answered your advertisement just for some-
thing to amuse me. I am of a good family you understand
that from my marrying a doctor and this is the first time
I ever answered anything of this kind.
Will you kindly tell me why you advertised what your
object was in so doing 1 ? Are you a married man or a wid-
ower ? Do you ever come to town ? If so, I would be pleased
to see you. I must come to a close now. Hoping to hear
from you soon, .
Mrs. N. seems to desire to find some one whom she " cares
enough for to marry."
It is said that relatively more widows desire to marry
than unmarried women. If this be true, it is an empirical
argument in favor of marriage.
CASE 14. MRS. O.
Noticing your " ad " in to-day's , I am in some way
induced to answer it, although I assure you I am unused
to this sort of thing. If you are what your " ad " says, I
think we could perhaps find each other congenial, and a
pleasant friendship ensue. As you will, no doubt, have
many answers, I will say no more till I hear from you if
I do. Please do not call, but write.
DEAR SIR : In reply to your note of 10th, I think it best
not to say more until we meet. I can assure you, however,
51
that I am a lady, and every way worthy of confidence. I
will be pleased to have you call Monday evening at 7.30, as
I leave the house I am boarding on Tuesday or Wednesday,
A. M. If you cannot come, will you kindly let me know.
CASE 15. Miss P.
DEAR SIR : Kindly permit me to offer myself in answer
to the advertisement in to-day's edition of . Am 22
years of age ; of fair complexion ; am very well educated in
English and German ; understand music, a study I am very
fond of. Have traveled a great deal, both in this country
and abroad. Am the only child of my parents, who are of
refinement, and therefore can furnish the best of references.
Should you desire more information, I shall be very happy
to give it to you if you will answer this.
CASE 16. Miss Q.
Saw your personal in the Sunday , and thought I
would like to know you. I am 5 feet 4 ; slim, and dark.
Considered good looking. I play a little, sing a little, and
paint a little. I go into society a great deal. Will be 18
next Thursday. I live up the road, but come down every
day to school. Hoping this will not be rejected, I remain,
sincerely yours
DEAR Mr. A. : Yours received, and was somewhat sur-
prised to hear from you. We were going down to take our
physical culture lesson, and as the P. O. was on our way I
stopped to see if there was any mail for me, and with others,
I found yours. I don't know why, but I had an idea that
you would not answer it. I wish you would give me a more
definite description of yourself. I cannot imagine what
you are like from your description of yourself. You said
you did not want me to run to the P. O. too many times
52
without receiving any letter. Well, sir, allow me to tell
you that I am not so anxious to receive letters that I run
to the P. O. every day. Every one who writes to me knows
just when to answer, because I tell them what day I will
expect to hear from them, so I go on that day. Now, my
dear Mr. A., don't take this as a scolding, but I suppose you
will infer from this that I think you are just a little bit con-
ceited. Well, I suppose I cannot blame you, because it is
a failing of the male sex. Of course, there are a few ex-
ceptions, but I don't think you are one of them. Now,
don't get sarcastic when you read this, and write back tell-
ing me every mean thing you have ever heard about worn en,
because if you do we will only begin our friendship by quar-
reling. Please don't forget to tell me your first name when
you write again. Well, I think this is a very long letter for
you to receive, and I hope it will satisfy you. May I ex-
pect an answer by Friday ? (Friday is the day I visit the
P. O.) Well, I hope you will answer all my questions in
your next letter, so I will close with best wishes. I remain
CASE 17 Miss E.
To whom it concerns :
Both last Sunday and this, in glancing over the personals
in the , noticed one whose tone suggested honor in
consequence of which I write you.
The words " not necessarily acquaintance " attracted at-
tention, though why, in the face of such consideration, so
much is demanded puzzles me. A compromise : your rea-
sons and motives for the information coveted. To whom
much is given much is expected, you know.
In all honor.
Your interesting reply to my note received. In it you
display a caution it is worthy to imitate. Have considered
the question of submitting to you my autobiography, and
53
decide, not a page until whom I am to gratify makes him-
self known to me. If my dear old companion should dis-
cover an envelope labeled " lock-box," I very much fear her
charge would soon be transported beyond the pale of free-
dom. And to use your own argument (poor rule, &c.), do
you not concede it an irrational proceeding to correspond
with a lock-box ? So suggestive of prison life, too.
Your favor was enjoyed very much. Awaiting your recog-
nition of my sentiments, and the compliment of your iden-
tity, I am
Your letter received ; naturally surprised to hear from my
hero of the " lock-box " from that quarter of the globe
the city formerly my home. I was born in , where our
summer home was situated, the winter being passed in the
city. While young I was placed in school, where I passed
my life until graduated, recently, from one of the well-known
colleges. Have always been closely guarded by my loving
mother. Since graduation I have traveled around with
Mademoiselle, joined by my parents when mother's health
will permit. My father is well known and popular.
I am in the city frequently, having left there just before
Easter ; shall not return there until June, and then only to
pass through on my way north to visit the mountains and
lakes. Prior to this trip, I am planning another visit. What
account could I render to Mademoiselle of my acquaintance
with Mr. A.? No, no. You know I only agreed to corre-
spond. You should not expect more, yet awhile.
Do you wish to know something of me ? The extent of
my dry -goods bills ? Enormous, I assure you. My per-
sonal appearance is very satisfactory, thank you. Dark
hair, hazel eyes, fair complexion, slender not awkward ;
medium height. Have I any personal defects? Yes a
dimple in my cheek ! The best idea of my disposition I can
give is that I am popular in society. I have a gift I never
cease to thank heaven for that of a beautiful voice and
ability to perform on the piano and other instruments.
Have I any wicked habits ? Oh, sometimes I flirt when the
" cat's away " don't you ?
54
Do you know, your letters do not seem to me as those of
a young man. I do not care to know you unless young (not
second childhood). You must tell me all about yourself
("insisted upon''), and don't let your next suggest so dis-
tinctly the doubt whether the lady is your equal. I don't
like that.
Shall remain here at the hotel yet a few days, but no local
address is necessary. As you object to my nom de plume ,
know then (gives her name).
MR. A. : One day last week I mailed a letter containing a,
few chapters of my life's epoch. Have you received same f
I should be right glad to know if you will favor me grant-
ing there is no ground for uneasiness but you know I never
did such a thing till now.
My gay life at is already a happy dream of a delight-
ful past. I wake to find I have been a week in , and
isn't it a charming city ? Though a , I can appreciate
another grand old city, even if it be rural. What a pity the
city of won't catch up ; don't you say so ? When with
them, my friends exert themselves to the utmost to induce
me forget there is a metropolis. Might as well ask me to
forget that old Sol is, to a certain extent, the source of man's
content especially girls. Why, until the first few fright-
ened sunbeams struggled through a small rift in the dense
bank of clouds, making the .earth smile, the very leaves
dance their welcome, I was positively miserable. M'elle
was cross, even to ugliness. (Are not companions odious af-
fairs, anyway 1 ?). All our plans fell through, so that after a
few poky days was completely disgusted, set sail up
the Rhine of America to , only to find this city in mourn-
ing for her sins.
Yesterday was lovely. Your humble servant's counte-
nance relaxed a foot (in distance) ; by night it was wreathed
in smiles. To-day the smile has disappeared, even as the
orb of day.
55
You still doubt I am what I am, don't you ? " Tell me
just who you are." I thought I had. Why, Mr. or Dr. ,
of , who clips out his name from his record and says
address simply Lock-box , I am the daughter of my pa-
rents, truly Stephen and Emilie Livingston.
In consequence of your question the like of which was
found only in Thomas of old I have paraded myself be-
fore the mirror, religiously surveying myself. I find I am
physically the same ; that no miraculous transfiguration
has taken place within the last few days, and that I'm scared
half to death for fear my papa will discover what his daugh-
ter am a doing. He is a merchant. He is, besides, a student
of literature. Some of my happiest moments have been
passed with him in discussion. I have not a doubt that he
would like you ; you could not help honoring him every
one does. For myself, I feel sure I should like you, if I
judge you rightly. Are you kind ? I don't like cranky
people. Of our family, I believe I am the merriest.
The idea of asking me for a photo of myself ! Just like
the audacity of you gentlemen because you can't vote,
I suppose. Well, it is not my fault. Soon I may be doing
that myself ; who knows ? Then I'll speak for you. By
this time you must feel abashed by your boldness.
I have none free to send you ; true, I might rob Peter to
satisfy Paul, but then your next news of me would be from
behind prison bars, and "all for thy sake"
I anticipate much pleasure from my visit here, there are
so many pleasant little excursions to prepare for, so many
beautiful sails on river and lake. Have you ever been here f
If you have never seen the charming little park lake, if
you have never sailed on it by moonlight with a jolly party,
mandolins, guitars, and summer songs, do not fail to em-
brace the first opportunity.' You are romantic, so I know
it would be a treat.
I hear one of the ladies calling, " Will you never come to
life again ? " This reminds me that my letter is somewhat
longer than my nap was supposed to be ; so if you'll ex-
cuse me I'll awake. Don't forget to tell me all about your-
self, will you I
56
DEAR MR. A. : Your note received yesterday, and though
glad to hear from you I did not like your letter, there was
so strong a hint of business about it. I do not like busi-
ness letters ; our relations are purely friendly or cordial, are
they not ?
I shall not be in or near until the winter. I inform
you where to address. All my mail will be forwarded.
You cannot blame me for objecting to meet a person who
hesitates so religiously to declare himself. I certainly must
know all about you before lean consent to meet you. How
such a thing could be done, anyway, passes my comprehen-
sion, for such plans would be annihilated by my father were
he to know it. I have not even yet dared to reveal the fact
of our correspondence, dreading his sternly just questions ;
then there is M'elle to avoid, and that would necessitate a
clandestine arrangement, which I certainly could not be
party to. And I must also be thoroughly acquainted. I
cannot say how much longer I shall remain here. I do
not doubt you are a gentleman ; but of my photos I am not
at all lavish. Why do you not write as long letters as you
are skilful enough to call forth from me j ?
P. S. Just for fun, don't you want to tell me how many
correspondents your ad. impelled ?
CASE 18. Miss S.
DEAR SIR: Would state in reply to your " ad." that I am
a lady of refinement, culture, education, and common sense.
I would like to hear from you more definitely than can be
stated in paper " ads."
MR. A. DEAR SIR: Your note received this morning. In
response I begin on a big piece of paper to wrestle with a
big subject, viz : a big woman. I don't know whether I will
prove an adept in writing up myself. On any other sub-
ject I think I do quite well, but I'll make the attempt at
least.
57
I am a singular mixture. On my father's side, showing
Indian ancestry by my tall form, high cheek bones, deep-set
eyes, and magnificent hair (one of my few points of beauty).
Also, on the paternal side, exhibiting traces of Quaker blood
in the remarkable patience I've cultivated, or rather built
upon in dealings with those to whom nature has bound me.
(Can't go into details here.) On the maternal side, the
Yankee love of fun, coupled with Dutch industry and sturdi-
ness, makes me about as queer a combination as could well
be found.
My life has been spent in the vain endeavor to satisfy
selfish people. I've given it up, and now make the venture,
which may not be strictly orthodox, of forming acquaint-
ances outside of custom's prescribed methods.
I've always been told I was a homely person. Perhaps
those who've said it were no judges, or really thought I
was handsome and told me the reverse for fear I might be-
come vain.
I am 5 feet 8 inches tall, slender (rather too much so),
dark -brown hair and eyes, fair complexion, red lips, pug
nose (or nearly so), intellectual brow (covered by frizzes),
small feet and hands. A merry disposition which "the
ills and woes that flesh is heir to '* has not soured. A
loving, tender heart towards those I love, but perfect, un-
qualified indifference towards those whom I dislike. I am
capable of making a good living ; in fact, always have. Now
I am only making a living for myself. Matters have changed
in my family relations, and now, on the down hill of life, I am
free for the first time to consult my own wishes.
Every impediment in life I have overcome, yet I freely
admit there is nothing in my estimation like having one's
own home with a husband at the head. A spinster's life,
no matter how independent, is one-sided.
Now, my dear sir, if you care to form my acquaintance, I
should yours. I'm poor in purse but rich in an honest
heart. Will that suffice ?
RESPECTED UNKNOWN : Yours of yesterday received. Hope
you will excuse the miserable envelope I send, but wishing
to mail this from the city must use what I have on hand.
58
I am a little in doubt regarding the wording of anything
to such a mysterious person. Perhaps you are classified a&
a series of books are "The No-Name Series."
I understand your position. This certainly is not form-
ing acquaintance after the orthodox manner of the past
generation, when a woman had to be sought and did not
dare step out of the beaten path of so-called rectitude.
Times have changed and we change with them, and improve
thereby.
I wish you had given me questions to answer. I am
afraid you will find this epistle somewhat chaotic. I hope
to find you are a private detective. That's the most mys-
terious thing I know of, unless it be a foreign nobleman
looking for an American heiress.
I've long been wanting to get into the detective business
on murder cases, for instance so thrilling, you know. I
am a person who can adapt herself to any surrounding, and
I want you to call upon me whenever you need help. Isn't
that good in me ?
I've had some experience on newspaper work. Every
particle of experience, you know, benefits one when the time
comes to make use of the aforesaid experience. You re-
member the old adage in ancient reading books, "Expe-
rience is a dear school, and fools will learn in no other.""
I have had an unlimited amount of experience, and have
come out of it eminently wise on some lines, and an una-
dulterated idiot on some others.
But, seriously, I would be pleased to meet you. I am
horribly lonely, having no society of gents outside of busi-
ness relations, and most of them are so pig-headed they
keep me in a continual state of rage, which, you know, is not
conducive to health.
il Tell me not in mournful accents
That sweet modesty's no more,
That the maidens of the present
Are not like the maids of yore."
These letters, like most of the letters, need little comment.
They represent a large number of girls who are utilized
59
too much by their parents ; who are convinced that their
parents care little for them beyond what they can gain
from them. As soon as young persons realize this, their
homes cease to be homes.
CASE 19. Miss T.
I saw your personal more than a week ago. Perhaps it
is too late to reply to it. I will say, however, I am a lady
of good morals, and my social standing is of the best. I
shall be glad to hear from you, and I will then give you a
full description of myself.
MY DEAR : You have given me no name yet by which
to address you. Have you not quite yet confidence in me
to do so ? I don't think you will ever have cause to regret
doing so. You can place all confidence in me, I assure you.
Why you haven't heard from me before this, I suppose
you wonder. I will tell you. The very next day after I
received your letter I was taken suddenly ill with a very
severe sore throat, which in a few hours developed into diph-
theretic symptoms. I have been in bed nearly all the time
since last week, Thursday. I have been out to-day and am
almost myself again. It is something new for me to be on
the sick list, and I don't like it much, I can assure you. Could
you but see me you would think me anything but sickly
or frail.
L-at me see, I have never, I think, given you a description
of myself. I am 5 feet 3 inches in height ; weight, 150
pounds ; light hair, or rather light brown ; eyes, blue ; feat-
ures, regular not handsome, but not homely. My social
standing is of the best. I live with and keep house for
my father, who is a banker. My reputation is above
reproach. My family connections all good, and a great
many prominent. Now, I hope you will favor me with
more about yourself. Are you in Harvard University ? If
so, I have friends as teachers there. Tell me all about
60
yourself and give me your name. I saw in last Sunday's
you had put your advertisement in again. With kind
regards and trusting I will hear from you soon and at
length
Your letter received. Yes, I had decided that you were
not particularly anxious to continue a correspondence
with me, as every letter you had ever written me had been
very brief and hurried. You also do not seem to have much
confidence in me, to still withhold your name from me. I
do not like addressing a letter simply to a box number. No,
I am not a college graduate, although I graduated from a
high school and spent one year in the freshman class at col-
lege and passed my examinations for the sophomore.
Do you spend your summers in ? My friends all
come on this way, so there will be no opportunity for me to
visit till next winter.
I shall be pleased to know your name, and you will be
perfectly safe in revealing it to me. Won't you trust me ?
We had a family gathering at our home thirty-five or
more relatives. We had a splendid time. Summer is really
here, and I am glad, for out-door life suits me the best. I
am very fond of tennis and play nearly every day.
Will not write more this time.
MY DEAR MB. : Your letter and magazine came to me
Tuesday. Many thanks to you for both.
Come, now, can you really hypnotize any one ? And do you
really read one's very thoughts ? I fear your only object in
advertising for correspondents was that you might find
characters to experiment upon. I cannot think of any other
reason for your so doing. Now I know I never would suit
you in the least. I am not educated enough for you, in the
first place, and I have an idea you are not particularly fond
of ladies' society are you ?
Now, please write me more fully about yourself what you
really do and are.
61
You ask why I did not continue at college. I got tired
of it ; the school was not then what it is now. I spent all my
life without any rest, as you might say, going right from our
high school to college, and I really got tired of study. As
I look back now, I wish I had remained the four years. You
know we all more or less regret our past lives, and if we had
them to live over again, how much we would improve.
No, I have not given you my true name, but I have done
more than you in that I have given you a name, while you
have only given me the number of a box.
You ask if I would meet you if you should ever stop over
a train in . I don't know but I would, but it seems to
me I ought to know a little more about you before doing so.
This is all new business to me, and if my father knew of my
doing it I fear he would give me a sound thrashing. I
have no doubt I deserve it.
Now, if you don't write me a good long letter I won't
write you again so there !
CASE 20. Miss U.
MY DEAR SIR : I noticed your advertisement in the last
two copies of the . At first I thought I would answer
it, but have hesitated until now, because it seemed as if it
was hardly the proper thing for a young lady to do to make
chance acquaintances in this manner. But, thinking it over,
decided that perhaps there was no harm in it, so I have
ventured to write to you, though I hardly expect to be fa-
vored with an answer. I presume you have received many
replies, and I think it must be very interesting to read
them. No doubt, all the young ladies make themselves out
as being perfect in every way, from beauty to riches. I
will not trouble you with a lengthy description of myself,
but will just give you an idea of me. I am not, as the poet
said, " most divinely tall and most divinely fair," but just
passably good-looking. I think my height is about 5 feet
4 and some inches ; I weigh about 130 pounds (this sounds
so foolish) ; have brown hair and dark gray eyes ; my age
62
must I confess it ? This part will frighten you, I know, for
I am 27. These figures are the worst part of the descrip-
tion ; but then confession, they say, is good for the soul, so
I ought to be very much relieved ; do you not think so ?
I move in the very best society here, have a pleasant home,
and am just doing this for a little diversion from the quiet
ways of a little town like this. This is a nice little town,
and we have some very nice people here. Perhaps you are
acquainted here. I fear I am writing too long a letter for
the first time. I will close, hoping you will not think me
unladylike in thus writing to you.
Your letter was received last Friday and I have it before
me now. With some feelings, such as Pandora had on
opening the fated chest, I broke the seal to your letter,
wondering what its contents would reveal to me. My curi-
osity was hardly rewarded, for you have left me in deep
mystery as to who and what you are. I wonder who you
are. One always imagines what her friends are to look
like, and, of course, I have my ideas regarding you. Shall
I tell you what they are ? You will be amused, I guess.
I think you are a . gentleman about 50 years old ; rather
tall, not very stout ; black hair, blue eyes, and think you
must be a professor in some college, or university, perhaps.
How near have I come ?
I do not suppose it would be in order for me to ask you
for a picture, when I do not enclose my own. I have no
good ones at present that I could send you, but expect to
have some taken very soon, and will then send you one,
perhaps ; that is, if we are corresponding. It may be you
will not care to keep up this written conversation very long,
for you might meet your ideal in the meantime. You ask
for the history of my life and education. It is not a thrill-
ing one, and I never thought I would be called upon to
write my own biography. Another person would do that
so much more satisfactorily, you know. I am not ashamed
of it, and, such as it is, will give it to you. , though a
grand State, does not claim much affection from me, as my
63
early years and education were spent in the dear old State
of . My home used to be in the city of . Perhaps
you are acquainted there. All our relatives lived in the ,
but we have lived in a number of years. I received
part of my education in this State, and part in the schools
of the . I have never been abroad to study, and I am
no linguist. My own language is the one I speak the best.
You see you are writing to a very ordinary young lady. I
am not an heiress, and enjoy what I have from the affec-
tion and generosity of kind parents. This correspondence
would be entirely against their wishes if they knew of it ; and
I don't know how long I will be able to write to you, on this
account. I am enjoying a visit from a lady friend from .
She is a lovely singer, and it is such a pleasure to have her
here. I am very fond of music ; do not sing, but play some.*
Singing is a much more preferable accomplishment, I think.
It seems like every one can play a little, but all cannot sing.
I have a little company this evening for my friend ; wish
you were to be here. There are so many nice young ladies
here, but the gentlemen are very scarce, and it is rather
hard to have an evening party on that account. What a
very cold Easter we did have everything outside so
gloomy but the churches appeared cheerful enough with
their beautiful decorations of flowers. It is time I brought
this letter to a close, as no doubt you are wearied reading
it. I will try and redeem myself next time by writing a
shorter one. I hope to hear who you are in your answer.
I have given you my name and I do not know yours. Please
tell me me who you are.
MR. A. : I am afraid I answer your letters too soon. You
must tell me if it is so. We have had such a week of lovely
weather, warm and quite summer like, and the evenings are
so pleasant. I do enjoy warm weather, when one can be
out of doors. The past week has been such a busy one, as
I have been deep in the mysteries of house-cleaning. Prob-
ably you know nothing about such things. That is one ad-
vantage in being a man. You ask me to write of myself.
64
Now, that is a very uninteresting subject for me. Let me
see, what can I tell you of interest about myself. I have
never been married or engaged that is nothing you care
to know, though. I live at home with my father and
mother. I am sure I don't know what else to tell you.
You remember I wrote a good deal about myself in my last
letter. My relations and friends are of the very best, and
I stand very high socially. You ask my age ; I am nearly
twenty-eight. I wish you would tell me something about
yourself. Of course I am as interested to know about you
as you are about me. Are you Scotch ? Your name sounds
like it. There is a family in this place. It is our min-
ister and his family. Did I tell you I was a member of
the Presbyterian church ? We have a nice society here.
This is a small town, but we have six churches, each a dif-
ferent denomination. Quite a number for a town of only
5,000 inhabitants.
I must close this letter, as it is nearly tea time. "With
kind regards, I am
CASE 21. Miss V.
Your letter arrived this A. M., so you will see I have the
merit of punctuality, for which I am noted by those with
whom I correspond. You ask me to tell you of my family,
but for the present will not give you my name, but you can
rely upon what I tell you as being strictly true. I will begin
with my father, of whose entire career I have reason and am
very proud. He was one of the most distinguished men in
this State of , being at one time the law partner of Sen-
ator . He served as attorney-general of our State. He
served as minister abroad. I have two brothers, both
graduates of college, and now practising law. My mother is
a highly educated person and boasts of her family, they
being highly intellectual and many of them taking high rank
in the professions as lawyers. I was educated in a convent
and have accomplishments in music and painting, and if
everything goes on smoothly, some day you might know
65
what I look like, as I am too modest at this time to de-
scribe my looks, but leave you to guess ; only tell me, when
you reply to this, which you prefer a blonde or brunette.
I shall expect you to be as candid in your reply as I have
been, and tell me all about yourself, family, and occupa-
tion.
Well, I think I have written quite enough for this time,
but, giving you something of our family outlines, I have been
compelled to write at length. You can address your letter
as before.
CASE 24 Miss W.
I have seen your advertisement, and would greatly enjoy
correspondence with one answering to your description.
Please explain. Are you a sophomore I
I am not interested in financial matters, as I have more
money than I can use, yet am not permitted to give it away.
(I may as well add, though perhaps not relevant, that if I
should marry, my fortune is so " tied up " that it would be
controlled only by myself.)
I am a lone orphan, and have been living in this wicked
but interesting world twenty-five summers (this time). For
the past ten years I have been at school on the continent,
and have lately returned to my native heath, accompanied
by my beloved but over-zealous chaperone, who never, by
any chance, approves of any of my actions. Out of consid-
eration for her peace of mind I will take the precaution to
have you address your reply to
P. S. I don't wish to marry just yet, but feel a little lonely
after dear, delightful Paris, and long to have some one write
me charming, sympathetic letters. I am very romantic and
could not live without sentiment.
The chaperone was watchful, as no other letters were re-
ceived from Miss W. If this young lady married, it is prob-
able that her chaperone would lose her position ; and there
is the suspicion that her faithfulness in protecting Miss
66
" W." has some mercenary elements. The conditions under
which Miss " W." has lived are exceptional, and for a "ro-
mantic " girl of this sort marriage would be the most ad-
visable thing. The occupations and cares of a home are the
greatest protection to woman.
CASE 25. Miss X.
DEAE SIB : I notice you have an ad. in two of the papers
I have to-day. I suppose you will have on an average of
two hundred letters. I guess I stand but a poor show, but
if you care to hear from me again I think I can interest you
with some sketches of my life. If you answer, please state
if you speak any of the languages but English, and if you
understand shorthand. I can answer you either in French,
German, Italian, Spanish, or shorthand, so you see I'm not
lost for conversation. Hastily, I remain
CASE 26. Miss Y.
DEAE SIB: An advertisement for a lady correspondent,
with no acquaintance desired, is sufficiently enticing to at-
tract me, whose one grievance against life is that I have so
little opportunity to write letters. I am an unmarried
woman, live in my own home. Though my parents are dead,
have sufficient means to be independent of the cares of
life, but am occupied each day. Originally from - , I
came to some ten years ago, and think I am in good
enough social position to warrant your future continuance
if this opening letter prove satisfactory. I am a graduate
of a fine academy, am very fond of reading, with a leaning
towards fiction, poetry, and history. As is the way of most
young women, have been in love, and been told that I was
loved, and got safely over both phases. Have not reached
the age when romance seems less good than reality. Am
considered rather good looking in a Boston style, as I wear
67
a pince nez, and shall be delighted to hear from a gentle-
man so fastidious that he demands references from an incog,
newspaper advertisement. I even go so far as to give my
true name and address.
MY DEAB INCOGNITO : Really, I feel a certain delicacy in
intruding on the acquaintance of a person (I hope that is
not an offensive term) who so persistently conceals his or
is it her? identity. Reveal your name, O gentle stranger.
It seems to me high time that you took a post-graduate
course in the elevating art of letter-writing. To address a
lady at the beginning of an epistle as " My dear miss-
madam or what not," is considered at once good "busi-
ness " and good "form."
Why did I respond to your personal ? Perhaps that I
might have an opportunity to display on paper my knowl-
edge of the " Complete Letter Writer," as above quoted.
Seriously, I had no good reason lack of resources. A brain-
less woman always needs occupation.
But why did you insert one u ? In your very first letter
you say you are too much occupied to be a good corre-
spondent. This instantly suggests the counter-query,
Why, then, correspond ? I won't insult you at the outset
by hinting anything, so I'll await your reply with interest.
Tell you all about myself ! Though a decade younger
than yourself, I too have seen enough of the world to be
unable to comply with this small request. I am engaged
each day in a variety of occupations ; " par exemple," to-
morrow I am going to sew, go to an oculist, make calls,
and go to the theatre.
I am exceedingly fond of the theatre, so if your line of
study (may I be so bold as to inquire its nature?) leads you
into a desire to convert me to theosophy, why, take Punch's
advice and don't. My reason for this warning is that I
had a rupture with a very jolly friend some time ago on
these vexed questions and I'm not going to get tangled up
again.
I am glad you have never been married. I have rather
68
a distaste for the Benedicts who have sundered from their
partners.
And now, may I not hear something of your tastes,
amusements, qualifications, and plans or do you feel that
the " game is not worth the candle " ? How many replies
had you ?
CASE 27. Miss Z.
MY DEAR SIR : I think from what was said in the that
you are a gentleman, and so write this to you. I am a
blonde of five feet two inches in height, weigh about one
hundred and fifteen ; have blue eyes and good form. I am
not handsome and am just seventeen.
As for my life, I have traveled a great deal in company
with my parents, but my life has been quite uneventful.
My father holds a prominent position, but I do not wish
to tell what or who I am until I receive some idea as to
whom I am writing. I should not, I am aware, write at all ;
but I was curious, and so could not help it. Hoping to
hear from you some time in the future, I am
CASE 28. Miss A. B.
STRANGER : I am at quite a loss what to write. Seeing
your address in Sunday's , thought I would be one of
the many that would answer. I don't in the least expect
an answer, but will simply try my luck. For what I am
writing this for is unknown to me, but certainly not because
I have no acquaintances with whom I couldn't write ; guess
merely to see if I get an answer. " In time will tell," eh ?
I am no widow, married woman, or an old maid. A bru-
nette of 20, living a secluded life in a small town with my
parents. Are you a married man ? Are you over 80 years?
Should you be either, don't bother to answer ; but should
you be good, clean fellow, from 20 to 35, I should certainly
be pleased to hear from you, and will send you my photo,
69
maybe. Expect to attend a progressive euchre party this
evening, and it is now ^ 6, so s'pose I will come to a close.
This letter may not be very interesting, but under the cir-
cumstances it goes, just the same. Expecting to receive, if
only a line (fish), from you, I am yours, without a strug-
CASE 29. Miss A. C.
DEAK SIR: Looking over the paper to-day I saw your
personal.
As I am spending this spring and perhaps summer in a
small town, think it will be a harmless " break " in the mo-
notony to correspond with you. I think I may .safely say
I answer all your requirements. I am not given to answer-
ing advertisements ; this is my first attempt. I shall not
give an account of myself in this letter ; will wait to hear
from you. Hoping that my suspense may be short-lived
CASE 30. Miss A. D.
I read you advertisement in Sunday's paper, and as I am
very anxious to meet such a young man as from your adver-
tisement I conclude you are, I ventured to write. I am eigh-
teen and a half old ; brown hair ; brown eyes ; a very good
figure ; a good dresser ; of a gay, loving disposition. I am
quite musical, having a good voice. I am quite unhappy
at home, and, having an income of my own, I want to marry,
and very soon.
The writing, paper, and monogram of this letter give, as
far as such details can, a very good impression. That Miss
A. D. is "unhappy at home" may be one reason for her say-
ing: "I want to marry, and very soon." There is much
similarity between this case and case 24; both have means;
70
one does not wish to marry " just yet ; " the other " very
soon." Such expressions in a first letter to a stranger are
due, probably, to very abnormal conditions. Yet it is not
probable that most girls, under such conditions, would
speak out so frankly. Still, what women will do under
pressure of circumstances is difficult to say. When radical,
women are much more radical than men. The fact that it
was not possible to get any more letters from them indi-
cates inexperience on their part and close watching on the
part of their parents or guardians. The following case (31)
is another illustration. It also shows the danger children
are subject to when one of their parents is dead, and em-
phasizes the value of a normal home life.
CASE 31. Miss A. E.
I saw your advertisement this morning in the , and
liking the tone of it very much I thought I would write to.
you. I am in this city now, but my home is in , where
I am connected with people of the highest social and finan-
cial position. I am an only child, and my father is quite
wealthy. I am a brunette ; 5 feet 5 inches tall ; considered
quite good looking, and have a very good figure. I will
say no more at present, but if you answer my letter and I
find out more about you than what is contained in a news-
paper advertisement I will tell you more about myself.
I received your letter this moring, and although I think
you ask a great deal, I thought I would answer your letter
and tell you about myself, for there is nothing in my life I
would care to hide or that I am ashamed of. I was born
here, , in the spring of 1873. My father is an Ameri-
can ; my mother was French. When I was about four years
old my mother died, and soon after that my father moved
to , taking me and his sister with him. He succeeded
71
quite well out there and made quite a fortune. Three
years ago he made a great deal of money. When I was
about 14 years old I was sent to a fashionable boarding-
school in , where I stayed until I was 19, when I grad-
uated, of course coming home for the summer vacation.
My father has always been a very busy man, and has left
me entirely to the care of his sister, who is unmarried and
is very strict with me. During the last two years, since I
left school, I have lived in , and been anything but
very happy, for my aunt will not let me do anything. Soon
after Christmas I came here to visit my mother's sister, and
have been here ever since. I have told you now about all I
know. My life, as you see, has been very uneventful. I
hope you will be pleased with what I have said, and answer
my letter.
CASE 32. Miss A. F.
SIR : I desire a correspondence with some refined and
educated gentleman, and by the tone of your ad. think you
would answer in all I would wish. I am a brunette ; height,
5 feet 2 inches ; weight, about 120 pounds ; am of a jolly
disposition : have a good social standing, and can entertain,
as well as take care of any household duties ; fully compe-
tent to perform any set before me. Would be pleased to
hear from you, and please give full description of yourself.
May I ask your age ? I will not give mine just yet ; as you
are aware, ladies are as a general thing timid on so delicate
a subject, but should our correspondence continue, I will
promise to not withhold it. Will you also tell me your pro-
fession ?
If you consider this worthy a reply, and with the expecta-
tion of knowing more in the future, I will close, and will
be pleased to hear from you at your earliest convenience.
CASE 33. Miss A. G.
MY DEAR UNKNOWN : It must have been an interference of
the fates that impelled me to glance over the personals to-
72
day. You ask for the story of my life. It is a long one,
not as measured by years, but by the events which fill it. I
was born across the water, of an old family who trace their
ancestors back to William the Conqueror. I lived abroad
the first nine years of my life. We then came to America,
but I went to Berlin to complete my education.
In regard to my personal appearance, I am not the con-
ventional beauty of golden hair and blue eyes. My hair is
golden brown and my eyes are blue-gray, fringed by long
dark lashes. I am medium height and rather slender. I
can speak three European languages. I am musical and
have a very good voice, soprano. I enjoy dancing very
much ; do you ? I think that I have written enough about
myself. I am afraid that you will think that I am conceited.
My social position is the highest ; I moved in the best cir-
cles in Berlin. I shall never forget the pleasant times in
Berlin. Hoping that I have given you the desired informa-
tion concerning myself, I am
CASE 34. Miss A. H.
MR. LocK-Box : Reading down the 's " personals," I
came across yours. It was the last one, but I assure you
it is not the least. Being quite anxious to correspond with
a gentleman, I thought I would avail myself of this oppor-
tunity. It is my first attempt at answering personals, so I
may not tell you just what you would like to know. I am
a young lady, of very respectable family, twenty-one years of
age ; have brown eyes and black hair.
Hoping this will meet with your approval, and that you
will kindly favor me with an answer, I remain
I received your letter and, of course, was more than de-
lighted to hear from you. There are two things, however
I am very sorry I will have to disappoint you and they are,
that I will not be able to meet you on Sunday, even for a
few minutes, having an engagement to stay out the city
73
from Saturday until Monday. The other one is, that just
this very week I gave away my last photo of myself. You
know those are things which are very hard to keep, espe-
cially when you have a great many friends, which is my
case. You said you would like to know more about myself.
Well, I am an only daughter of a very good family, who
travels in very good society. In fact, as mamma says, " I
am always on the go." I gave you a description of myself
in my last letter. I have no father ; mamma and I board,
but intend getting our own house this May. I have just
joined a mandolin club and I think a great deal of the in-
strument. I must now close. Hoping to hear from you
very soon, I remain
ME. A. : I don't know if there is any use in my answering
your letter at this late day. However, I wish to let you know
how sorry I was not to be able to meet you. The truth is,
I was taken sick at my friend's house, and, instead of stay-
ing two or three days, as I expected, I had to remain
until last Friday; so I never received your letter until then.
Now you know the reason you did not receive an answer.
If you wish to carry on the correspondence, I would be
pleased to do so. In fact, I am only too willing.
CASE 35. Miss A. I.
DEAR SIR : By your " personal " I notice that you desire
corresponding with a young lady of high social standing.
Having many idle moments, I would be pleased, if this
meets your approval, to make your acquaintance (by letter).
I see you also desire an account of the young lady's life.
Having led a rather uneventful life, a few words will suffice.
I am eighteen years of age and, as for appearance, a de-
cided brunette. Was born in , but have lived for a
number of years in , until, six months ago, we made
quiet our home,
Concerning finances, at the death of an uncle residing in
74
I will be worth $10,000. But he is young and may
have a long lease of life.
If it is your pleasure to answer this I can, I think, give
satisfactory answers to all questions you may ask.
DEAR : Received your letter this morning, and, as I
am anxious to know something about you, will answer soon.
I am not going to tell you one thing more about myself
until you enlighten me about yourself. Why do you hesi-
tate in letting me know your name and who you are ? I
would also like to know your age and what business you
are in. When the above questions are answered I will write
you more about myself. I answered your "personal" just
for fun, and I thought that I would enjoy writing and re-
ceiving letters from one whom I had never seen. Hoping
to hear from you soon, I remain
CASE 36. Miss A. J.
MY UNKNOWN FRIEND : It being a rainy afternoon, which
prevents me from participating in the Easter festivities, I
naturally turn to the newspaper for amusement, and in
glancing over the personals, your advertisement attracted
my attention and I feel impulsed to answer it. Among
your many answers mine may be cast aside, so I will be
brief. I suppose a description of myself will not come
amiss. I am tall, dark hair and eyes. I cannot lay claim
to any great beauty, " which, you know, is only skin deep,
but I will admit draws like oxen ;" still I am positively good
looking. I am highly connected in , come of good old
Massachusetts stock. My forefathers did not come over in
the Mayflower but the vessel immediately following. Sfcill,
I do not inherit the Puritanical ideas of my ancestors. Am
somewhat of a Bohemian in my tastes, and a lover of fun
and # good time. Am non-mercenary, refined, and edu-
cated, and appreciate the beautiful both in nature and art.
Now, I think I have enumerated enough of my qualities ;
75
tell me something of yourself. Are you tall or short, fat,
fair, and forty, or what ?
I forgot to mention my age ; it is twenty-six.
CASE 37. Miss A. K.
DEAR SIR : In the paper of yesterday I saw your personal,
and although you demand much from your correspondent,
I have decided to answer it. That " it is well to be brief at
first acquaintance " I think a good idea, so will follow it.
In reply to the first of your requirements would say that
in this city there is not much opportunity for any promi-
nence socially, as the people mostly are of the working class,
but among those who can lay claim to social prominence I
am one. Financially, I am not of the highest, therein fail-
ing to meet requirement number two, but have enough of
the world's goods to make me desire to change places with
no one. You see I have learned that to be satisfied is the
greatest earthly happiness. Next, I have been educated at
the well-known " Miss 's seminary," , and,- although
I have not dabbled in theosophy and studies of a like na-
ture, yet I consider I am not wrong when I say I am edu-
cated. My life : Well, that has been as uneventful as could
be imagined. As far back as I can remember, it has been
study, study, study. I do not know anything of impor-
tance to tell of it. I am tall and slender, a very decided
blonde, and twenty- three years of age. I do not think I
am vain when I say that in appearance I could fill a require-
ment, if you had made one, as to good looks.
Now, in regard to agents, I do not know anything about
them, nor do I wish to. I am not trifling. Hoping to hear
from you, or, if I do not, that you will return this letter, I
remain until then your expectant friend
CASE 38. Miss A. L.
SIR : Seeicg your advertisement in the paper, I reply to
the same. Am a young lady, medium height ; light hair,
76
with changeable blue eyes. Am of good parentage and
social position. By profession, a teacher of experience.
Brought up on a farm. As to references, can give good
ones from our Senators, lawyers, board of education;
also from my pastor, of whose church I am a member. Am
thoroughly honest in the matter and would expect you to
be. Am not particularly desirous for an acquaintance, but
would enjoy a correspondence.
Your letter received when away from home. Please seal
the next time in replying, as I do not care to have every
one reading my letters. Though postmarked - , it had
none by the receiving office ; and I think that, together
with its not being sealed, is rather queer. Am not particu-
larly desirous of writing full information of myself without
receiving any particulars of your work and life. In answer-
ing your advertisement, I had not an idea of trifling or of
being trifled with. As I told you, my profession is teach-
ing, and that is my work now. I like it very much, and have
had success so far. Will say nothing further now till I
hear from you again.
I have told you my work and that I still am doing the
same. I have taught continuously since my graduation in
the school here. In religion am a Baptist, having been a.
member of the church here for a number of years. In
political belief am a Prohibitionist, strong. As a teacher
have been successful, for have been retained two years in
one position, and could have remained longer if I would.
This term completes the year for the school I am now in r
and the board have asked me to come back next year. I
presume I shall.
Am 5 feet 3J inches in height ; weigh 131 pounds ; light
hair, light complexion ; blue eyes, changeable. Am quiet
tempered, but not fickle-minded, or easily persuaded against
my will. I have two brothers, two sisters, and both parents
living. Am a farmer's daughter, but none the worse for
77
that. I don't know what further you want me to write, as
I have nothing more to say. Have had no experiences that
I would care to relate to you or anybody else, so I did not
see anything further to say. Have done better than you,
for I do not think harm would come to you should you re-
late something of yourself. But, of course, you can act on
your own wishes and judgment in the matter.
CASE 39. Miss A. M.
DEAR SIR : While reading the paper my eye happened to
light upon your insertion, so I thought for an adventure I
would answer it. But you cannot conceive what an em-
barrassing thing it is for a lady to do and how it embar-
rasses me. Besides, it is the first time in all my life that I
ver thought of such a thing, much less condescend to write
an answer to anything like it. You ask for a highly edu-
cated and cultivated young lady. It is not half as hard for
me to inform you as it is for me to be perfectly aware of
the fact that I am not just what you would desire, and not
half what I would wish myself, but you know we cannot
all be perfect or reach perfection. I have some education
and perform somewhat upon two instruments ; also sing.
I have been very often and very much complimented upon
my vocal capacity, though my voice has never been culti-
vated to any extent.
Now, while I cannot lay any claims to being a very highly
educated and cultivated lady, owing to a little mistake which
I made in my youth, yet there is not one in the United
States of America who can lay claims to a better family, and
few in England. I am a great granddaughter of , Gen-
eral Washington's - and dearest friend. My father has
letters from General Washington to , written during
the war. I suppose you have heard of the family of
, and also the family of . In fact, they are
being scattered all over the country. We can trace back as
far as William the Conqueror of Normandy, and were a
titled and wealthy family even then. And we still have
78
titled relatives in England, also highly honored relatives in
America. General is also a connection of ours, the
late mayor of .
As to my being a lady of means, I can't say that, either,
except in this way : My father owns 3,400 acres of land,
two large plantations here, one large farm in , near the
the city of .
I suppose at some time I will be quite a wealthy woman,
but I am not the only child ; there are five more. Another
great drawback is that I have been unfortunate enough to
be a widow, and have been for nearly ten years, I was
married at fourteen, left a widow at seventeen, and have
lived with my father and mother since my widowhood. As
to what style I am, I guess you would like to know. I am
five feet in height, have dark-brown hair, large blue eyes,
wear .a number two shoe and a five and three-quarter glove,
weigh one hundred and sixteen pounds. Now, if you care
to answer this, I wish you would please give me a full de-
scription of yourself, and who you are, and references as to
who you are and your character, as it behooves me to be
just and careful, and more so, as I am a lady.
I intend to have a few pictures made Wednesday, and if
you and I correspond and like each other, and you send me
yours, I will you mine. I can give you good references if
you wish them ; can refer you to any gentleman in -
and other places as to who I am. I will give you one
now, .
This lady gives names of prominent people.
CASE 40. Miss A. N.
MY " UNKNOWN " : Your " personal " attracted my attention,
and I should like very much to know you through a corre-
spondence, but am unwilling to give a detailed account of
my life until I hoar from you, as I am a novice at such as
this, and naturally feel a little anxious as to the reception of
my letter. But am a young lady of high respectability,
79
educated and refined, considered by friends and society
very stylish and fine looking. I reside in , the queen
city of the - , just a charming place in summer. You
may have passed through the place, possibly have visited
here. Well, now, my " Unknown," I should like very much
to hear from you at an early date, and should this meet
your glances with favor you may address to
MY "UNKNOWN": Your letter this morning was an unex-
pected pleasure. Hardly hoped for such prompt attention ;
in fact, was uncertain as to being noticed at all. Now, my
" Unknown," as to the detailed account of my life, I fear you
will think it tame and uneventful, there being simply nothing
to tell. I am twenty-three years of age, been carefully and ten-
derly raised by adoring parents, and reared a lady in every
respect. I attended school in , where we lived for the
time. My parents did not care for traveling, so I have been
denied that pleasure. My friends have been few and care-
fully chosen. As to respectability, family, and morality, I
acknowledge no superior. I am well known here, and am
proud to say I merit the high esteem I am held in. I have
a handsome home and refined surroundings. Now, perhaps
you will ask yourself why a young lady so situated would
care to form an acquaintance in this irregular manner.
Well, I will tell you. I have been noticing these " personals "
for some time, and often wondered if gentlemen inserted
them and ladies answered, and when I read yours an in-
sane desire seized me to venture an answer, hoping noth-
ing but pleasant results would spring from it. I am a mem-
ber of one of our most popular Episcopal churches, al-
though not for popularity, but because I love the church.
I would be pleased to hear from you soon, telling me some-
thing about yourself, and will you not give me an address
with a name, as in a city of this size the post-office clerks
might question, after a time, letters addressed to the pres-
ent address. Of course, you understand, you have not my
real name, but I hope to give it to you later. This is a
charming morning. Hoping for an early reply
80
CASE 41. Miss A. P.
MR. MAN : I should indeed be sorry not to prove an ex-
ception to my kind if forced to judge you by your writing,
for it is undeniably bad, very bad, and did I not entertain
a lingering hope that it was purposely so as a means of dis-
guise, I very much doubt if I should encourage another such
hieroglyphical epistle by replying to it. Apropos, are you
an American?
So you wish a detailed account of my life ? Why ? Take
the average girl, and her history would read much like an-
other's. I was born, they tell me, at . You will ex-
cuse me if I do not remember the exact year, as I was very
young at the time, but my advent has ever since been cele-
brated on the day of . My school life began at
, and ended about eleven years later, at a young ladies'
seminary near here. I have been through the customary
"finishing," including the arts and languages, and that has
nearly filled up my life until a year or so ago. I am not
devoted to society, but concerts, theatres, and out-door
sports find in me a ready participator. At present my time
daily from nine till four is engaged in wooing the painter's
goddess. Whether she will ever smile upon my efforts is a
matter of some speculation.
Your communication was about as noncommittal as it
could possibly be.
I reopen this to say that I forgot to mail it.
" Personally " yours
CASE 42. Miss A. Q.
GOOD AFTERNOON : Lacking a name to address you with,
please forgive my boldness in this greeting.
You, I judge, are a very particular young man just the
style I admire for a correspondent. You ask for an ac-
count of my life. It would take too long to give you a full
one of my life, for the scenes and changes of my life have
81
been many for the few years I have lived. Am a little over
twenty years of age ; brown eyes and hair ; tall, and can
carry all the flesh I have without any trouble ; have a fail-
school education ; have been to boarding-school ; and now
are you happy ? As to the social position well, I can lay
claim to a good high social position ; and as to financial, I
spend enough money to make many girls regard me reck-
less ; but there, this is enough of myself. You, no doubt,
put your ad. in , thinking there were many foolish girls,
and no doubt there are, and as has been my home the
greater portion of my life, I decided to write you. I am
visiting here and cannot tell how long I shall be here, but
should you answer, address to the young lady who sends
letter with which mine is inclosed.
You ask for references ; well, when you decide to write,
you shall have the best.
CASE 43. Miss A. B.
SIR : I have been reading and re-reading your advertise-
ment. I could not make up my mind to answer it, for one
reason. In the first place, I am no trifler. The reason I
felt timid in answering was, you said a lady in high social
and financial position. I think that rather unjust to we
ladies who are not well off financially. Suppose a poor
lady should answer your " ad. ; " you would become ac-
quainted with her ; she would be in every way congenial ;
would the mere fact of her being poor cause you to pass
her by ? I think it ought not. It is not money or social
position alone that makes a woman a fit companion for a
man. Do you think so ? I am not to say poor ; have a
nice home ; am well connected. My uncle is a professional
man, very prominent in the city and country. My cousin
is a very popular minister. I will say nothing about myself
now, but should I hear from you will give you all the in-
formation you want. You may think it not very prudent
for a young lady to write to a gentleman whom she
knows nothing about, but I have a reason, as I suppose
82
you have for advertising. However, if you should not care
to answer this, please destroy it or return it. I hope I have
said nothing to offend you.
I must close I cannot say hoping to hear from you, for
I do not know if you shall care to write. So I must end it
rather abruptly.
CASE 44. Miss A. T.
MR. A. DEAR SIR : I have received your letter, or rather
note, and take pleasure in replying to same. I presume
you already have a description of me, so will not go into
detail as to that. I belong to a good family ; am well edu-
cated, refined, and have always been accustomed to the
best society ; my friends are amongst the best people in ,
and my character is beyond reproach. I am not a society
girl, though am fond of social amusements. I like a quiet
game of cards, and am fond of good theatrical or operatic
attractions, &c., occasionally. Am a member of one of the
leading Presbyterian churches here, in good standing. My
parents are dead and I make my home with an aunt in this
city. I am not a pretty girl by any means, but am neat
and stylish in appearance, and have the happy faculty of
making lots of friends, and, more, I possess that faculty of
keeping them. I have an affectionate and amiable disposi-
tion and believe in looking on the bright side of life. I
dislike to say much of myself, but inasmuch as you have
never seen me, it is necessary to speak of myself as I have,
that you may have some idea as to the kind of a girl I am.
I am not beautiful or brilliant, but simply the kind of per-
son one is likely to meet every day of their lives.
Trusting to hear from you at an early c[ay, I remain
DEAR MR. A. : Your note was duly received, and to be
frank, I was disappointed when I opened it and found it
was just a mere note, but I hope I will be favored with
a letter from you. You ask that I tell more of myself.
83
Well, as far as that is concerned, I do not care that
you or any one else should know all about me, for I
have nothing to conceal ; my life is like an open book, and
will bear inspection of the severest critics. I was never
guilty of an act in my life that I could be ashamed of, still
I would rather not have gone into detail concerning my-
self until you had told me more of yourself what " manner
of man " you were, and at least your occupation. Well, in
the first place, my parents are dead, and I make my home
with an aunt in this city. Further, I am without means,
and I make my own living ; am a stenographer, and have
held a good position for four years with one of the largest
concerns in this city, who will vouch for my ability and
character and associations. I have not always been in the
circumstances that I am now in. It is not long since
I had everything that heart could wish for, but reverses
came, as they are apt to come to every one, and I went to
work, as I was too independent to rely upon my aunt for a
living. She is in fairly comfortable circumstances, and is a
widow with one daughter. I belong to one of the best
families in the country, and have always been accustomed
to associating with the most refined and cultured people.
Hoping I will hear from you again, I remain
CASE 45. Miss A. U.
To A YOUNG GENTLEMAN : Perhaps I am treading on " dan-
gerous ground" by addressing a stranger with whom I
have no acquaintance, either direct or indirect ; but as we
are all victims of fate, and, womanlike, I am enchanted with
everything that is flavored by mystery I will venture, hop-
ing that you are all that you expressed in the advertisement ;
and if you are not a perfect gentleman, both morally and
socially, please be so courteous as not to answer this (per-
haps imprudent) letter.
I am by birth and education a . Since leaving school
am engaged in that arduous profession, if I may term it
such, of teaching ; but, having other ambitions, I intend to
84
enter college again and take a special course in literature and
language to prepare for my life's work, if it proves expedi-
ent that of literary work. It is my intention to enter the
convent. My religious views are rather decided. I am
a staunch Catholic. In regard to social standing, my motto
has ever been and will ever be "to associate with none but the
very best." By best I mean the most respectable people.
My position as teacher has enabled me to form acquaintances
and associate with teachers and educators of our State,
the State superintendent being a warm personal friend of
our family.
A trip to Europe, or rather through the British Isles, has
been a source of great pleasure, as well as a decided ad-
vantage, to me ; my experiences were many, varied, and de-
lightful. If this correspondence proves acceptable I will
give a brief description of my tour.
My motive in answering you brief is for a cultured cor-
respondent. My only object is, as above stated, that of
mental improvement. Hoping this novel adventure will
not prove a misadventure, I remain unknown until I hear
from you.
CASE 48. Miss A. V.
DEAR SIB : Observing your " ad.," and wishing to corre-
spond with some estimable gentleman to improve the acumen
of the mind, with a view to matrimony if mutually satisfac-
tory, I have taken the seeming liberty of addressing you,
and should you care to hear from me further you may ad-
dress thus
References exchanged.
DEAR SIR : Your very kind epistle reached me last even-
ing, for which you will please accept my thanks. As per
your request, I shall endeavor to give you a slight descrip-
tion of myself, and should the same not meet with your an-
ticipations, do not hesitate in apprising me to that effect.
I shall not take offence.
85
I am tall and slender, 5 feet 8 inches in height, and weigh
122 pounds; eyes are large and of a dark violet hue ; com-
plexion, florid ; hair, medium brown ; features, regular, and
last, but not least (the most important), character, second
to none. I am very fond of literature, also music ; play
several instruments, but only for my own amusement. I
shall be pleased to have you tell me anything pertaining to
yourself at your convenience, and until then I beg to re-
main, dear sir
DEAR SIR : Upon my return to the city from , our
summer home, this morning, I found your missive awaiting
me, which I assure you was hailed with pleasure. You
mention that you wish I would tell you " all " about myself.
I do not know of anything else to add, other than my age,
which is 24 years ; live with my family ; have never been
married, and am independent, both in spirit and financially,
although not rich. I am well known here in the city that
is, amongst our best people, the majority of which have
known me ever since I was a little school girl.
I agree with you ; I too like frankness, not only in letters,
but at all times ; in fact, it is one of my greatest faults ; I
speak my mind too plainly. The reason why I have been
reticent in giving you my name (and for which you will not
blame me), is this, viz. : taking it as a rule, the majority of
men who insert " ads." through the " personal " column of
any medium, most times merely do so for the sake of hav-
ing fine sport at the young lady's expense.
While I regret that we cannot have a personal and friendly
interview at present, owing to the distance, I take pleasure
in saying that I shall be in to visit my relatives and
friends, at which time, if you still desire to cultivate my ac-
quaintance, I will be pleased to grant you an interview. I
sincerely trust that you will not think me unkind in having
spoken so candidly with you, and hope you will not hesitate
in acting likewise with me.
Hoping to hear from you again, I remain
86
CASE 47. Miss A. W.
DEAR SIR : Do you really look for a fine educated lady ?
If you are a respectable gentleman you may write to a young
lady who has no acquaintance with any gentleman. Ad-
dress
CASE 48. Miss A. X.
DEAR SIR : While reading yesterday's paper I read your
ad., and thought I would answer it, as I seem to possess
the qualities you want. I am twenty-two years old and re-
side with my parents, who are very respectable and well-to-
do people ; but, of course, I could not tell them that I did
such a thing as answer a personal. I belong to the very
best society in this city, and could refer you to any one be-
longing to it. Hoping to hear from you, I am
DEAR SIR : Your letter I received to-day and am very
sorry, but owing to a previous engagement I will not be
able to meet you. However, if I can possibly break it I
will try and do so and be at the depot to meet you. You carry
my letter in your hand (the right one), and I will carry
yours in the same hand. I will wear a dark blue dress,
sealskin cape, and a small hat. If I am not there you
needn't be disappointed ; and if I am, why, all right. I shall
also wear a bunch of violets, as they are my favorite flowers.
I am about five feet four inches in height, and weight about
one hundred and twenty-three pounds. I think my de-
scription is accurate enough, and that you will be able to
find me if I am there. Hoping to meet you, I am
The author followed instructions, but did not see Miss
A. X.
CASE 49. Miss A. Y.
years old ; tall ; dark
L like that ? Quantuv
Gives name and school in which she is teacher.
I am thirty-four years old ; tall ; dark ; fine looking, and
attractive. Do you like that ? Quantum sufficit.
87
CASE 50. Miss A. Z.
Miss A. Z. desires to raise money for the benefit of some
poor people she is interested in, and has decided to braid a
chain, in which she asks you to join.
The plan is this : She asks you to make three exact copies
of this letter and sign your own name and put the next
highest number on them. Send these to three of your
friends, and at the same time return this letter with the
names and addresses of your circle of three, also ten cents,
to Miss A. Z.
Your three copies will all have the same number at the
top ; each of your circle of three is requested to do the
same thing, so the chain keeps lengthening. The person
receiving the letter No. 30 is requested to end the chain by
sending the letter, with ten cents, to her, that she may
know the chain is broken.
Kindly read Matthew xix and faithfully do your share.
letter was addressed as an answer to the author's
" personal." The correspondence is continued to see if
curiosity is mingled with charity.
DR. A. DEAR FRIEND : Your letter came duly to hand, en-
closing a postal note for fifty (50c.) cents, for which please
accept my sincere thanks. You have sorely disappointed me
by breaking the chain. Your fifty cents does not compensate
me for all the money I am out. Why, if you had sent three
copies of my letter to three of your friends, that would be
lOc. from each, and, counting yourself, would make 40c., and
just imagine what you are making me lose by not continuing
the chain. I am very sorry, indeed, for my poor. " Give to
him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of
thee turn not thou away." If you haven't time to write
them yourself, cannot you get a stenographer to make three
copies at once for you ?
I think this a very practical method of raising money
for charity. Trusting you will not disappoint me further,
believe me, yours in charity
P. S. How did your " personal " read ?
CASE 51.
DEAR SIR: I have just read your adv. or personal, and as
I am very desirous of forming the acquaintance of a refined,
honest, and trustworthy gentleman, thought I would answer
at once.
I am a young lady, 21 years of age, refined, educated, an
heiress, and of a respectable and well-known family. I can
give the best reference, and would be pleased to correspond
with you if this meets your approval.
MR. A. DEAR FRIEND : Your more than welcome letter
received, and read its contents with much pleasure. I am
going shopping to-morrow, and I am going to stop in the
hotel about 4 o'clock, so, if you would like to see me,
you may be there. I will remain until 4.30 P. M.* I will
be dressed in black and wear a hat trimmed with violets,
also a light tan spring coat, so you cannot help but recog-
nize me.
Hoping to see you to-morrow, and, if not, why, I hope to
receive a nice long letter from you, giving me a full descrip-
tion of yourself, and your photo, if possible.
MR. A. DEAR FRIEND : Your note received, and I read its
contents with much pleasure. Now, don't get angry when
you read what I am about to write. There is one thing I
have noticed about every letter you have written me, and
that is you never address me. Now, don't you think it
would look a little more respectful toward me if you were
to say Dear Miss , or even Miss would be better than
nothing at all. Well, never mind ; you may atone for it
*Author did not go to hotel.
89
next time. I will now describe my charming self to you.
I am 21 years of age ; tall ; weigh 128 pounds ; a decided
and very handsome blonde, and of a very pleasing nature.
Say, Mr. A., won't you have your pictures taken and send
me one so as I may look upon your face once in a while ?
How strange that you should be so dark and me so fair.
I have noticed your adv. in the every Sunday, and
really I must say that I begrudge you of the fun you must
be having with so many poor, silly girls.
I suppose you will think me quite saucy and rude to ask
so many questions, and then, again, you can't blame me for
wanting to know who I am writing to, now can you ? I
will close, hoping to hear from you soon.
DEAR FRIEND : It seems as though we were never to meet.
Every time something happens to prevent us from making
an engagement. Is it possible that fate is against us?
Why is it that you write such short letters ? Is it because
your correspondence is so great that you cannot afford the
time to write more 1 Oh, what funny things you men are,
anyhow. You think everyone ought to write nice, long let-
ters, and you say, How do you do ? How are you 1 or some-
thing like that, and that ought to satisfy us young girls,
don't you 1 ? Well, I guess I have written about all the non-
sense I can think of, so will close, hoping to hear from you
soon.
CASE 52.
KIND GENTLEMAN: Seeing your ad. in the paper of Sun-
day, and as I read it over I concluded to answer it, for you
are like myself looking for a nice gentleman companion
whom I might take for my life partner. I am, as you said
you wanted, a refined lady of good standing I am, of a
good family and I received a good education ; went as far
as the high school; can converse well with any one. I am
90
also an American, born and raised in . I am a bru-
nette with bright dark eyes. I am 5 feet 3 or 4 inches in
height. You are a gentleman. I would like very much
to meet you. I am a genuine housekeeper, for if I had a
husband I would know how to keep him, for I am neat about
all my work. I was engaged to be married once, but death
robbed me of my treasure, so it makes me long for another
good one ; a friend, good and true, ain't found every day.
I am no trifler. I was brought up well by my parents. I
have no mother ; she is laid to rest some time ago ; I have
three brothers ; I am the only girl there is ; we are all living
together, yet since ma's death I can keep house for my
brothers. I can treat a husband good too if I had a good
one, and I said before I answer this in earnest, and why
I answer your ad. I felt sure you were in earnest too.
Well, hoping that among the many answers you receive that
mine may be the chosen one, I will close, then, with hope
that I may hear from you soon. I am yours, till then, in
silence.
ME. A. DEAR SIR : I received your letter and would have
answered sooner, but I have been feeling badly, not able to-
do anything, but I am very glad to hear from you at any
rate, but you did not write much about yourself. You don't
write so bad. I am fond of dark-haired gentlemen. I al-
ways did admire them. Are you really in earnest about
looking for partner for life? If you are I am too in search
of some steady gentleman with good habits, whom, if
he so desires, I might take for my life partner. I am not
so stout as you are. I am 5 feet 3 or 4 inches. I am
an American and have a good education, and refined in my
manner. I am no giddy woman, but as you see, if we ever
come together, that I am a good, sensible woman. 1 will
do right to every one. To the one who would choose me
for his I would do all I could do to make him happ}^ for
nothing is so pleasing to a husband as to have a nice wife
that is clean and neat about her house and has everything
nice for him after a hard day's work. I would like very
91
much to hear from you soon again, and tell me more about
yourself and your intentions ; tell if you really mean what
you said in your ad. I am a young person. Write soon
again. I have no mother living ; there were five children of
us. I am the only girl in the family ; my brothers are all
in good business. Write me a long letter you can write ;
you can write enough for that. I would like to know you.
Write soon. Excuse me for not writing sooner. I am, as
ever, yours truly.
Case 52 represents a woman of the poorer classes ; she is
simple and direct in her statements ; she feels a natural
longing for a home of her own. The following case (53) is
somewhat similar.
CASE 53.
DEAR SIR : Answer to your personal in the paper, I am a
widow ; 5 feet 2 ; dark complexion, and a very fine form,
and a very fine housekeeper. I keep boarders, and I have
kept them for 4 years ; only men no ladies and I can
give a very fine recommend of myself, for I am very well
liked. I am 35 years old, and I would like to make your
acquaintance if you think I would suit. I am French by
birth. My address is .
P. S. If I had a real good man I would do all in my
power for him to make him happy ; it is awful lonely to live
alone.
DEAR SIR : Please excuse me for not answering your let-
ter before ; I have been very busy cleaning house. I weigh
155 pounds ; I am a brunette. I was married only 6 years
when my husband died ; he died with quick consumption.
He was a carriage-painter. And so ever since he has been
dead I have been keeping boarders to support myself, alsa
my mother. I have no children I never had any and my
mother is dead now ; she died two years ago, so now I live
92
alone. I have lived here in for 13 years ever since I
have been married and I am pretty well acquainted, and I
am not afraid that any one will speak wrong of me. I have
always worked hard, and have always been respected here.
I have never done anything to be ashamed of. I am sure
that I will never be ashamed to say that I have worked, for
I know how to keep house, also to cook for any one, I don't
care who, and I am proud of it, too. So, if there is any-
thing more you want to know, you need not be afraid to
ask me in your next letter ; that is, if this one suits you.
J am not afraid nor ashamed to tell my life that I have lived.
My life has been work, work, all the time, but I am happy
to work, if but I don't work hard.
No more at present. Yours with respect
P. S. Now that you know all about me, please give me
an account of yourself ; also what you do ; also your age ;
also your complexion.
CASE 54.
DEAR FRIEND : Seeing your ad., and wishing to correspond
with gentleman of your description, I take the liberty of
writing in hopes of corresponding. I am a young lady of
twenty summers, a decided brunette, five feet five and a
half, being somewhat plump, with good and graceful figure
{so they tell me) ; am not gifted with many accomplish-
ments, the few I have consisting of music, painting, and,
lastly, elocution ; am not wealthy, but when I become of age
will inherit some property.
I hope this meets with your approval, and that you will
write soon and give me a description of yourself. I await
with much anxiety your reply. Your sincere friend
CASE 55. Miss A. B. D.
I was amusing myself by looking over the personals in
the newspaper this morning, yours being the only one of
93
the number that impressed me as being at all prepossessing ;
hence this reply. I find it rather an awkward proceeding,
as it is my first attempt at anything of the kind ; but should
this note be the means of bringing about a correspondence,
it might terminate in a personal acquaintance. Suppose I
should give you an idea as to my appearance ? Have dark
eyes and hair ; good complexion ; about medium height.
Should this meet with your views, I would be very glad to
hear from you.
Call. A lady with whom Miss A. B. D. was visiting told
the following :
Miss A. B. D. was about to leave town in a few days. She
was looking over the personal column and answered one.
She thought nothing would come of it ; yet if any answers
did come, she desired them sent on to her. She runs back
and forth from the west to the east, and would be back in
a few days.
The lady said her husband was an army officer and was
stationed in the city, and she had come to the city to edu-
cate her children. She said that Miss A. B. D. was very
pretty, not large, but slender. She promised she would
send the letter to her.
She added that she would be pleased to see the author
again if he would call. She seemed not to know the nature
of personal advertisements, and was so natural and lady-like
in her appearance that the author did not feel like inform-
ing her of the somewhat irregular character of such adver-
tisements. She said Miss A. B. D. was well educated.
CASE 56. MRS. A. B. E.
Mr. A. MY DEAR SIR : Yours received. There is a some-
thing about your few lines that attracts me. In confidence
I'll trust you with my true and full address. May I hope to
94
inspire equal trust, and that you will accord me the same
courtesy ? I do not believe in " sailing under false colors,"
and I am the farthest remove from a trifler. I look through
this unconventional medium, where there are good as well as
bad, for a life companion a suitable husband. I am com-
fortably situated in life. I do not seek " means " ; I seek
love and affection, but I and you have lived long enough to
know money is convenient. I have no anxieties for the
future on that score, so I do not want a man with no
resources. I do want a big, warm heart, one who needs
just me to round out his life and make it complete ; one
to whom I could "be all the world," make his every
hour happy, and who would value the wealth of affection I
have to bestow. My standing and unsullied name would
satisfy anybody. I look for my equal in that respect. I
have a collegiate education and some accomplishments ; a
thorough housekeeper ; accustomed to the best society ; have
a happy home and no dependents, yet am not " alone in
the world "--prefer one who is. Am an Episcopalian not
bigoted; have excellent health and buoyant spirits; am in
full midlife, full of life and ambition ; can never "feel old."
Fair in personnel, medium stature and weight. How does
the picture please you I I hope to hear soon, and as much
of yourself. I hope I have inspired your trust, and send-
ing out my hurried, rambling missive with kindliest bene-
dictions, I am, my dear sir, earnestly and cordially yours
MY DEAR SIR : Yours just received. I would be pleased to
receive a call from you, but you will please excuse my sug-
gestions regarding it. Of course, you do not care to call,
under the circumstances, when we could not have a conver-
sation in quiet, all undisturbed. So I would say, please
not call in the evening, and not in the forenoon. If you
would call about 3 P. M. on Friday, it would please me and
be convenient to see you. Company friends, relatives
visiting here before that time is the reason I am particular ;
besides, I have a cold myself, and hope it will have passed
off before that. I have excellent health seldom a cold.
95
seldom a headache. I shall be pleased to see you. Hoping
to see you Friday at 3 P. M., I am, my dear sir
MY DEAR SIR : As no notice whatever was taken of my
invitation for you to call upon me last Friday at 3 P. M., I
hardly expected ever to hear from you again. I feel that
my written words deserve some written reply. Please ex-
cuse the freedom with which I now address you. I am, by
no means, a prude, yet I do feel very careful in all my actions
that they bear criticism. We are all more or less con-
trolled by our environments. It is against my ideas to re-
ceive a call from one I know almost nothing of a stran-
ger quite too embarrassing with people who know
nothing of this matter to speculate upon. Had you told
me some particulars of yourself been equally confiding
such apparently discourteous happening as my declining to
see you last evening might not have occurred. I believe,
under such indeed, under all circumstances, it is a lady's
prerogative to name a day and hour when she extends an
invitation to call. With all due respect and consideration
for yourself, I do feel you only failed to look at the whole
matter of calling from my standpoint. I fear, did all favor,
you are quite too young to suit my needs and hopes, but
I do wish you all the joy and happiness your heart can
desire. Woman's cupidity, at least, would ask a reply.
Perhaps, instead, you prefer to forget all about your friend.
The author wrote and asked if he could call again. He
received this telegram. :
DR. A. : Please call at 3 P. M. to-day.
The author called upon Mrs. A. B. E., unexpectedly, in
the evening, as he chanced to be near her flat. Mrs. A. B. E.
sent out word that she was unwell. The daughter, who
came to the door, did not seem to understand the nature of
the call.
96
A second call was by appointment in the afternoon. (See
telegram.) Mrs. A. B. E. was alone. She said: "When I
was a young lady I answered a 'personal.' A widower
called ; he said he had three children, showing me their pic-
tures. We became well acquainted, and finally he went to
see my parents, and within six months I was his wife. A
happier marriage there never was. Three daughters were
born to me, all of whom are married or engaged. All of
them have handsome incomes, and are writers in leading
magazines. I did not know the nature of personal adver-
tisements before my marriage. I had come from the coun-
try, and was visiting in the city and saw them in the paper
and answered them out of curiosity or a freak. I selected
a few out of my forty answers."
Mrs. A. B. E. was quite deaf, but she said it was only due
to a cold she had at present. She continued : " I know that
these 'personals' are not inserted with good intentions,
but some are. I thought that possibly I might find a suit-
able husband in this way. Those who ask an appointment
to meet me I do not answer. I have lived in this city the
last ten years. When my husband died I lived in a
very fine residence. I now have enough to take care of
myself. I don't want any money, nor do I desire a man to
depend upon me. I think that is just, don't you? I have
very little company of persons of my own age. Since all
my daughters are to be married, I shall be alone. I desire
much company. My daughters entertain much, but they
are all young people. A man will go and find a wife, and
this is the only method I have. I had a chance to marry a
clergyman, but I did not envy a clergyman's wife."
Mrs. A. B. E. is over fifty years of age, short and stout.
She was very careful to explain that her deafness was tem-
porary, being due only to a recent cold. She seemed to
think she must make as good an impression as possible.
97
CORRESPONDENTS ANSWERING ANOTHER TYPE OF
"PERSONAL."
In order to obtain a different type of correspondents the
following advertisement was inserted in the " personal "
column of several large newspapers :
" Author desires correspondence on the sociological de-
velopment of woman, with lady of highest intellectual and
financial position ; acquaintance not necessary. Address
Lock Box ."
The following answers were received :
CASE 57.
DEAK SIR : Your personal in the requesting corre-
spondence with a lady of " highest intellectual and finan-
cial position " might apply to me were it not for your use
of the superlative "highest."
I am a well-known lady, am wealthy in the usual sense
of that term, and my education has been equal to that of
any of my sex.
I am profoundly interested in the social question.
The evolution of the different institutions regulative of
the sexual relations have interested me to such an extent
that I have allowed my convictions to cause me to remain
single, against the wishes of my dear old mother, and I am
therefore anxious to arrive at a conclusion regarding the
course which I should adopt. If a higher state than the
monogamic exists for woman, I desire to exemplify it in my
life.
I have, of course, somewhat disguised my handwriting,
and shall for the present give you a man's name for my ad-
dress.
Hoping I may get some facts about woman's true place,
I am
98
CASE 58.
A woman of independent position and social standing-
who has for some years been a member of various clubs r
would be glad to give " Author " any information of the sort
he desires within her scope. Modesty forbids a definitive
claim to the high intellectuality he specifies as a prerequi-
site. It is hoped if any exist it may make itself known in
the course of a possible correspondence initiated with no
other motive than mutual entertainment. If " Author n
cares to do so, he may further elucidate his views to inclosed
address.
CASE 59.
DEAR SIR : I am an Englishwoman with a collegiate edu-
cation, and reading your notice this morning, would be glad
(if you feel so inclined) to hear a little more definitely from
you. I do this with the view of exchanging ideas, and for
growth, if there is the possibility of such. " Sociological
conditions of woman " imply a great deal, especially when
regarded from the moral standpoint, and that is a question
in which I am deeply interested, and want to branch out as
a reformer. I regret so much that I am not now in a posi-
tion to reach Mr. Breckinridge, and enlighten him as to the
hidden law he has been so blindly following and misusing. It
is in his power now to seek and learn the truth, and redeem
the past by boldly preaching it. It is that hidden knowl-
edge revealed that will only revolutionize the world. David
felt this in Ps. 73, 22. The "ignorance " alluded to is the
ignorance of the higher moral law that which Christ came
to teach in his talks about the Kingdom of Heaven, or our
spiritual and physical harmonization, and the " mystery "
spoken of by St. Paul.
It is only when we read the Bible esoterically that we get
the wisdom and intuition of its wonderful teachings of the
forces of nature. We speak the wisdom of God in a mys-
tery, even the hidden wisdom which God ordained before
99
the world unto our glory, which none of the princes of this
world knew I Cor. ii : 7, 8 nor will they know, so long as
they live on this material sense plane ; for no one can serve
two masters.
Very sincerely
Many thanks for the little pamphlet received yesterday
on genius and insanity. There was much in it that inter-
ested me. I think that genius is simply a high grade of
mediumistic development, or the effort of progressed dis-
embodied spirits to express themselves through a human
organism, and this can only be done when that organism
is in a very passive condition, because only then are we
perfectly receptive ; and this condition is brought about in
a thousand different ways particularly, I think, through
the right union of the masculine and feminine forces and
fluids ; as in the case of Daniel Webster, he was so power-
ful that he had to add whiskey besides. Other persons are
developed through hunger, love, loss or want of money, sick-
ness, &c., &c. I myself am very mediumistic, and for years
have been going through quite a development, and being
very strong and active in my intellect, it drowns intuition
(which is all that we carry away with us after death). I am
going through now quite a boiling-down process, and when
I become completely harmonized I know that the spirit of
Henry Clay, my beloved counterpart, champion, and de-
fender, my guide, philosopher, and friend, will use my or-
ganism to give out grand utterances to the world, and carry
on to-day what he left uncompleted in the past.
Women are so much more mediumistic, as a rule, than
men, and their powers for good or evil are greater ; it is
said a bad woman is worse than a bad man. You need not
imagine that I am an old woman. I am just in my prime
(36), and just beginning to understand life in its f ullness.
But what I am writing my letter for is this : You mention
a great many names of men who were celibates, and this is
what I would ask, as a seeker after truth wherever it may
be found :
100
Is celibacy a strong factor in the development of genius ?
What do your researches lead you to think on this sub-
ject 1 ?
I do not think it is a question that can be answered by
" yes " or " no."
It is only necessary to look around us on all sides and
see the poverty, distress, sickness, crime, and deformity to
realize how wrong such connections are ; and the only cure
will be to unsex seven out of every ten males born, and
educate these three into the science of stirpiculture. If it
is a crime to allow inferior animals to breed, as it is in
Kentucky, how great a crime it is to allow inferior men and
women to multiply. Generation is not the sole end of
marriage. If it is, then marriage should be limited.
The whole drift of the Bible is a covenant or club of a
certain people who agree to live a certain moral life, ac-
cording to their ideas of it, because such a life appeared
to bring a certain soul unfoldment and experience. Moses
was well aware of this unfoldment, because he was an initiate
and a priest.
The Psalms clearly prove this ; for example,
Psalms : chap. 36, 8th verse ; 37, 9 ; 38, 7 ; 39, 1 ; 45, 2 ;
51, 13 ; 137, 6 ; 51, 15 ; 139, 1 to 5 ; 73, 22 ; 92, 6 ; 139, 6,
and Solomon's Songs, which are imagery of a deep occult
nature belonging to the ancient order of Masons :
S. Songs : I, 3 ; II, 3 ; VII, 6, 7, 8, 9 ; I, 2 ; I, 13.
And also all through St. Paul's epistles, and the first
few chapters of Genesis, it is said that it was from the time
of Seth that men and women were created as they are
to-day.
The Elohim or gods or angels or genii created Adam and
Eve in their own likeness (let us make men in our image), and
Adam created or begat Seth, not Cain or Abel, but Seth
" in his own likeness after his image," viz., as the beasts
did. " Seth " means erect, upright. Men were no more at
that time androgynes, after Cain and Abel were begotten.
If you would ask me how we are to select the good men
born, I would say, God has given us the knowledge to be
able to recognize at the instant of birth a criminal from a
101
hero by the grand science of astrology ; and children should
be selected and put apart just as puppies are.
To seek the Kingdom of Heaven is simply to seek to
harmonize your physical and spiritual forces and fluids, and
that brings righteousness or faith, hope and charity in
other words, love, and love brings the knowledge and ex-
perience of " all other things added unto you."
Marriage is a poor makeshift for society, for it crushes
out individuality and hinders intellectual progress.
Now, I want to conclude by saying I did not answer your
letter, because I am not willing to give you anything I am
only willing to exchange ideas. Also, I don't think a " girl "
has the experience to give you ideas if you are a man of
mature judgment. You said you wanted a girl's ideas. I
criticised your letter very severely from many points, and
your pamphlet has somewhat redeemed you in my estima-
tion ; and I don't like blots ! It looks familiar, and that
breeds contempt. Kindly reply to my question.
P. S. I saw your ad. again, but I am quite sure a woman
of wealth and social position would not notice it only a
student would ; and for the purpose of making an exchange
not to give anything to a stranger for nothing, for that is
charity, and no one, I imagine, wants that I am willing to
exchange ideas ; but I have no right to give them away,
however rich I am.
CASE 60.
DEAR SIR : If you will open correspondence, would be
pleased to reply.
Your " ad." is hardly explicit enough to know just what
you desire.
I am a writer by profession, but without fame. Intel-
lectually, will hold my own ; financially, will speak of later.
DEAR SIR : I did not answer your first letter, for three
reasons :
1st. I was frank with you and gave my name. You did
102
not reciprocate, and I do not care to write in the dark, as
it were.
2d. I do not exactly know what to write. I am horribly
advanced in some of my ideas ; have worked among so-
called fallen women, the semi-insane, largely among the
devilish ; have seen some very peculiar developments, which
I have never committed to paper, from the fact that I would
not put them over my own name for fear of being misun-
derstood and misquoted, hence my hesitation.
If you will formulate questions and give me some idea
of what you desire, I may reply, as I am anxious to gain
some light on certain topics.
MY DEAR MR. A : Pathology is a science I have not gone
deep into, from the fact that Pve always been driven to
death by adverse circumstances, and never having the op-
portunity to study medicine or diseases, but only got the
chance to minister to the diseased bodies of those who
were suffering from the skis of their fathers, intensified by
their own lack of common sense. This has given me wor-
riment by day and hard work by night, and that is the only
way I've studied medicine. By desiring always to find the
cause of everything, I perhaps have a better practical knowl-
edge of everything I have come in contact with. The ever-
lasting "why"? " was always uppermost in my mind, and in-
quisitiveness is quite a feature in my make-up, but not of
the gossiping kind it is only for investigation.
" Honor thy father and thy mother " never had one particle
of weight with me, as I have always kicked against exist-
ence. Two people cohabiting, one for his own personal
gratification, the other because she was forced to by the
legal tie which bound her to a hog, brought into existence
beings who are held responsible by society for the very
things that cannot be ground out. Then, usually, these
little beings have no tuition only come up somehow, or
succumb to death.
Now, I talk about what I know. I am the production of
a licentious, drunken, selfish father and a sick, overworked,
discouraged mother. The result of that union are two
103
children alive out of six. My sister is a fool and knave
combined too lazy to do any harm to society, and lacks
the brain force to be anything but contrary ; yet making
some one else earn her living for her.
I am devil, martyr, and Heaven knows what. Inheriting
good brain powers from both parents, being the older,
and my pre-natal life not tampered with, as in my sister's
case. I started with an overcharged brain in a contempti-
ble scrofulous body. Do you wonder I am rabid on the
subject of heredity?
I believe there must come some way of not allowing
drunkards and fools to propagate. Then the cities will not
be overpopulated.
CASE 61.
1
" American Author with European Education, etc.' 1 ' 1
DEAR SIR : I sometimes clip advertisements from the per-
sonal column of the newspapers for a so-called joke-book,
with which I amuse my friends. I was about to add yours as
especially funny, when the rash temptation came to write
for other details. Here we are supposed to be rather deeply
interested in all u sociological " problems, and boast a little
of our interest and knowledge.
May I not, however, suggest that, while the "highest
intelligence" is certainly none too good for the work,
the highest " financial position " is usually incompatible with
any knowledge of the kind desired. Should you not also
define just what are the sociological conditions of women r
whether you are to study them as wage-earners, as butter-
flies, or as individuals.
I frankly admit my curiosity, and beg that the next time
you put so complex an ad. in the papers you will state, even
at some expense, more details. What is expense, anyway,
that it should stand in the way of science ?
Hoping sincerely that you will be deluged with useful
information on this vital subject, I remain very truly yours
CASE 62.
" LOCK Box."
In venturing to reply to your advertisement, I arn simply
following an impulse, ever present with me, to come in con-
tact with a mind presumably above the every-day monotony
that surrounds most of us.
In doing this I am not presenting myself as having at-
tained a " highly intellectual and financial position," none
but an egotist could do that. I like correspondence, and,,
as a medium of interchange on topics of the day, aside
from the possibility of ever meeting the correspondent, it
interests me.
My life is somewhat lonely and empty intellectually, and
I seek (as I imagine you also do) agreeable occupation and
possible mental stimulus through this source.
I am perfectly sincere and earnest in this and do not ap-
proach you in a spirit of intrigue or questionable experi-
ment. If your purpose coincides with this, I should be
pleased to hear from you. As a matter of prudence, I
withhold my name, as you have done. If you desire, please
address
Well, my new friend, it is rather ungracious in me to
pick flaws in your answer at the very outset (you will
find plenty in mine, Heaven knows, before you get far), but
your letter is somewhat contradictory to your assertion in
personal.
" Acquaintance not necessary " is followed by the sug-
gestion in your letter that we should know a little about
each other, and asking me to tell you of myself. I thought
it a woinctiSs privilege to be illogical and inconsistent. I
should now say, pardon this frankness, if you had not
given me carte blanche to say what I please. I am cer-
tainly acting upon instructions to the letter. However, a&
you have asked it, having pledged yourself to true bon
camaraderie, I shall give you even more than you have
vouchsafed me. (Women are always too generous in this.)
A three years' widowhood has taught me what curious facts
105
crop up in a woman's unprotected life. Some are interest-
ing, others dubious. This correspondence bids fair to
count among the interesting ones, as with me also the
study of human nature is inborn. I am liberal to some
extent, although a Puritan ancestry holds me somewhat in
check as compared with the reckless freedom in some
quarters to-day. I feel that I have emancipated myself
from much of the old formality and rigid lines under which
as a child I often chafed. Yet every day I feel more grate-
ful for the training I thought severe. It has moulded and
held me within safe bounds, although I now have so much
broader views of life in all its phases. I feel like a bird set
free after long imprisonment, and find myself growing
lenient as the years speed on.
Am I happier ? Well, yes ; a happiness that comes from
" charity toward all, and malice toward none," is perhaps a
better kind of happiness than the child's reverence for any-
thing and everything it did not understand.
But here am I talking of myself as I positively had no
intention of doing. I wonder if hypnotism can be carried
by letter ! If so, you have perhaps unwittingly drawn me
out of my shell.
You see how hard it is for me to be really serious. I
fear you will soon weary of so unsatisfactory a corre-
spondent as
Your little brochure has been read with intense interest.
But you must be aware that a woman's curiosity is pain-
fully tried by the cut * underlying the title ! How could
you be so deliberately cruel?
Well, curiosity shall be merged in the desire to hear more
concerning the things which interest and occupy you per-
haps the unwritten personality may steal out between the
lines at any rate, as " thoughts are things," your thought
represents you for the nonce, and so I am all attention.
The most of the cases cited by you are new to me in that
* Author's name was cut out.
106
connection, hence you see I cannot claim any knowledge by
which I can fitly reply. While my lot has been cast from
birth largely in the atmosphere of the medical fraternity,
my personal tastes have run quite in another direction art
having been uppermost ; and yet I find myself continually
lighting upon medico-scientific statements in my casual
reading, which proves, I think, that my organism is not en-
tirely free from hereditary tastes as well.
The postman has come and gone I hear his whistle dy-
ing away in the distance and no letter for me.
Did I offend you in any way in my last letter I I surely
was not aware of saying anything in the least offensive.
Hoping all is well between us, for I had looked forward
with pleasure to our correspondence, I am, truly yours
DEAR '-DR.:" Do not feel disappointed that I hesitate
about making myself one of a herd or an 4 ' experiment." It
is not pleasant to discuss one's self scientifically to feel so
like a machine pulled apart to be oiled into smoother run-
ning, or worse to be cast aside when found of poor metal,
not worth further inspection ! Then so many hidden de-
fects (even to one's self) crop out in the process of putting
it into black and white. Student of nature as you are, you,
of course, are well aware that, in telling of herself, a woman
(always more emotional than scientific) will unintentionally
let her heart peep out quite too often and, besides, there
is so little to tell, it is hardly worth your while to hear it.
So, in a general way, let us discuss other women from your
standpoint as first proposed and yourself. You have,
through others, a happy source for communicating this in-
formation, while mine must come first-handed, and is there-
fore more or less embarrassing. Please do not look upon
me as but one more specimen of the genus woman. I ob-
ject.
A sensitive woman may, at times, take out her heart to
some long-tried, trusty friend, but scarcely to a comparative
stranger.
107
Perhaps I ought to say I have written a little bit have
painted and exhibited quite a good deal am a member of a
Woman's Press Club, but, entre nous, have found it emi-
nently unsatisfactory too much wire-pulling and too little
literary progress. I fear I am not a clubable woman !
DEAR PROFESSOR : I would fain forget this dreary day for
a time, and thus it is that I am boring you to help me out.
(Nothing selfish in that !) I used to like rainy days, but
they affect me differently now.
I have read a little, painted a little, and yet the fact
remains uppermost that my doll is stuffed with sawdust !
Nothing so effectually drives out the blue demon for me
as letter -writing (without restraint) except a pleasant com-
panion at a nearer touch than the pen. That, I have not
at present, so you are my victim. Well, after all, it is but
fair. Have you not victimized me in a way ? May I ask
one plain question, frankly, as you enjoin? What is your
object in seeking correspondents through advertisements'?
(I have seen three.) Most women would have been silenced
when they saw the second one, but my reasoning ran much
in this wise : He is in search of some " specimen " that so
far eludes him, and is still pursuing this method, hoping to
find this will-o'-the-wisp, and why should I immediately
retreat because I do not meet his requirement in this
direction ? You see how I am obeying your behest, dear
Prof. In fact, you may think me almost brutally frank.
Come, let me get a little insight into that " lock-box '' of
yours by giving me your genuine opinion of women. Spare
me one short half hour from your busy life, and let me
know you better please do.
We may never meet in the flesh, yet we may know and,
possibly, help each other. Has not 138 avoirdupois some
claim over a vague, yet-to-be-found will-o'-the-wisp 1 ? Or
(horrible thought !) have you found her, and all else sinks
into insignificance beside her ?
Am I too saucy f I fear I am sometimes when in this
mood. Yet, strangely, many of my friends seem to like
108
me thus. I am told that I am two distinct women at times,
and am conscious of it mj self. Can it be that I am ruled
by two totally different ancestors ? Do you ever have that
feeling? I wot not, but go on your way unswervingly,
calm, impenetrable. Am I right ?
To-day my sans-gene ancestor is uppermost, so lay this
out-of- season, out-of -reason, saucy letter to that source,
and forgive it in me. Make allowance for all my idiosyn-
cracies.
The outside day asserts itself again ; it is raining cats,
dogs, and demons ! An indigo atmosphere surrounds me ! 1
I am literally being wiped out ! I am drowned ! ! ! ! ! Chaos.
Well, I am not answering yours just rec'd, but the one
of llth date, and am going to take it in crab fashion, mov-
ing backwards.
The u long mark " for a longer letter. " Have I ever had
trouble ? " Have you forgotten that I am a widow ? Since
then I have had varied troubles but who has not 1 I am
of a very elastic temperament and recover myself pretty
effectually when adjusted to new conditions.
What I "do everyday" would be. difficult to tell you.
No regular occupation fills my hours, yet I am always
busy, for I find myself happiest when most closely occu-
pied. " Not too much time to think " is a favorite axiom
of mine. We get into a groove become morbid and too in-
trospective, it seems to me, if we fold our hands. I am
living in this city because it is my home and has been for a
good while. Hove it despite the rush and scramble; it
always has something to hold one's interest and make life
worth living. I was born in the country and am exceed-
ingly fond of it from April to December, but after that give
me the city.
Now, I had promised myself not to indulge in any more
lengthy letter than a single sheet (finding you such a brief,
non-committal correspondent), but I must answer the rest
of your questions. As to why I answered your " personal,"
I truthfully stated in my first letter. I am always my^eif, as
109
I think my friends would emphatically assure you if asked.
I hate affectation and pretense never pose to please any
one though I do like courtesy and good breeding, which in
my humble opinion is only pure kindness of heart toward our
kind. As you are "a matter-of-fact fellow," you will accept
all this "honor bright," I am sure. As for your "romantic
tinge," there comes over me a little doubt ! You certainly
show no trace of it so far ! I think you are too self-con-
tained to be romantic, or sensitive to impressions from out-
side.
You misunderstood me about my ancestors. I wondered
if you ever had felt conscious of that dual nature I spoke
of. But this is getting too long.
Hoping soon to see that " photo," I am sincerely yours
CASE 63.
DEAK SIR : Seeing your advertisement in the , I an-
swer for further information. Hoping to hear from you
very soon, I am, most respectfully
DEAR SIR : In reply to your letter will say that I will give
you my idea on the question, "Is marriage a failure? " It
is not for me to say, nor do I believe, that the contrary is
not true, but it cannot be denied that marriage has lost
much of its old-time simplicity in the minds of people.
It is seldom that we pick up a paper nowadays but we find
an article on some phase of the marriage question. One
article will tell you that marriage is a failure ; the other
emphatically declares it is not. Woman is inconstant ; man
is selfish. The fact of the matter is that we write and talk
altogether too much about marriage, and I am satisfied that
all that I hear and all that I. read about the subject is not
calculated to give the young a clearer understanding of the
marriage relation. If all this clatter succeeded in doing
this the end might justify the means. But it does not.
On the contrary, it is confusing the young. The mystery
of sex is deepening for the young men and young women
110
of to-day. Marriage, that one thing of all others in all our
lives which should be regulated by the affections, the
emotions, and the heart, is becoming a mental study.
This is all right in a sense, but all wrong in the main. For,
after one has read everything he or she can of the subject,
has listened to all that can be said of it, what more, after
all, do they know of marriage ? Surely, if marriage is any-
thing, it is a condition, not a theory. As things are now,
all this discussion is simply widening the gulf between the
masculine and the feminine poles of creation. The minds
of young people are absolutely full of misgivings as to
marriage. Where they are not confused they are actually
frightened. And this has a more serious aspect than might
appear at first thought. "Why is it that so many mar-
riages are unhappy?" "Why do married people always
hold up a warning finger against marriage ? " " What really
is love self-assertion or self -surrender ? " A young
woman wonders whether marriage will mean to her a sur-
render of her present independence. Now, it is all well
enough to look upon these questions as indications that
young people are thinking more for themselves, and that
this is a healthful tendency. But the question is, Are
these questions in the right direction? Will this think-
ing do any good? Are marriages any happier to-day
than they were in the days of our grandparents, when
all this discussion was practically unknown? So far as
I can see, we are simply robbing marriage of its beautiful
side yes, its only side and what are we substituting ? A
mass of theories. If they remained simple theories, the
harm would not be so great. But these theories are be-
coming conditions and views false conditions and wrong
views which the young are accepting and taking into their
lives. And mental confusion and the upsetting of right
ideas is the result. I will not say that these upsetting theo-
ries are responsible for the decrease of marriage in America
during the past year. It is easy to see other causes : the
hard times through which we have passed, the changing
conditions of our life these have, doubtless, been primary
causes. But, on the other hand, I know from actual knowl-
Ill
edge how the false notions advanced in this senseless and
ceaseless discussion of marriage have kept young people
from finding their heart's desires. Marriage is a very pop-
ular subject to write upon. .A writer can always get a hear-
ing on it. That is why, perhaps, so many who cannot get a
hearing on other subjects dilate upon matrimony. It is not
alone those who publicly write or talk about marriage that
I am taking to account in these words. It seems to me that
we might think of this whole question a little more than we
have or do look at it from two standpoints the prospec-
tive as well as the retrospective. Then it may occur to us
a little more clearly that there are always two views of a
statement or a jest the view which experience helps us to
take, but also the view which inexperience make others in-
capable of seeing. Those who write have gone far enough
in putting forth false notions about the marital Delations.
It would, at least, be in better taste to say nothing more.
The young have been sufficiently confused. They have had
their beliefs sufficiently upset, and they have been given
nothing in place of what has been taken. Marriage has
been made too much of a problem. If it were made less a
one it would be better. Our conditions of life have changed,
it is true, but the basis of true marriage cannot. Let it be
what God intended it should be the union of two confid-
ing, loving hearts, each trustful in the other, confident in
the present, hopeful for the future. That does not make a
problem of marriage. And I can't see why marriage should
be a failure. And bear me no malice for my frankness.
Most respectfully
CASE 64.
DEAR "AUTHOR : "
Had you only said,
" I'm looking now for brains,
With cranium just large enough
To prevent nervous pains,"
I should have written you before ;
But when you made it plain
Your talk of "Sociology"
Was but for venal gain,
112
" A charlatan ! " I cried at once ;
Revolting is the thought
That " Authors," such as you would be,
Are waiting to be caught.
The " intellectual's " all right,
I am " a lady " true,
But that "financial" bars me out,
And so I bar out you.
I've done some fishing in my time,
I've fished for many things,
But now I'm for a gilded crown,
A pasteboard harp, and wings.
Permit me in a previous P. S. to explain. I never ex-
pected to see an answer to my crazy rhyme, which I was
coaxed into writing by a youngster who sent me your first
advertisement, and came into my office with the second,
saying he proposed to stay until I granted his request.
I thought simply to get rid of him. He commenced
a correspondence once, in the near past, with the same
charming assurance that you used in crying, u Lay on Mc-
Duff!" and was after balm. Your promise "not to mis-
understand" me makes me exclaim, "Ha! he is either a
very young man, just beginning to handle the lead, or else
he thinks he has sounded all the depths of a woman's
nature." In either case and probably in any case you
know more about women than I do, so there shouLl be an
end of the matter.
As regards your first promise, to " be perfectly satisfied
if the intellectual's all right," (you observe I use my
woman's prerogative of seizing both horns of the dilemma
at once or rather clutching frantically at the extremes of
the situation, catching hold of the extremest extreme first),
don't you see my intellect might be registered " A 1 " by
the most celebrated alienist in the land, and yet be rated
so far away from yours we could never meet on the same
level? (and yet we might pass upon the square) . As regards
women I have known men better than I have known
women. Men high-minded men, who kept the pulse of
113
Time have been my teachers, my friends, and associates.
Within the last few years I have been trying to understand
the other side of the human race. Sometimes I think it is
like punching a rubber bag. You think you have hit the
very heart of the mystery, and dealt the ancient enemy a
telling blow. You look in triumph for the result of your
labor and behold ! every trace of it is lost.
With my lips beneath the waters of the river of humility,
I whisper to the still, deep current that is rushing silently
down to the eternal depths. Of all the paradoxes of this
paradoxical world, woman is the most incomprehensible
one moment so strong, so true, so inexpressibly tender, and
the next without seemingly any reason for the change
so weak, so false, so wantonly cruel !
Your assertion that you " are rather liberal ' is soothing
and stimulating. Your assurance that I can be " perfectly
free and open in my statements " is stupefying and exhil-
arating ! But what do you mean by " woman's develop-
ment " ? Would you talk about her theological, psyco-
logical, phrenological, physiological, anthropophilogical
or do you mean her purely logical advancement ? If we
are to talk about that well, " miff sed " !
Oh, perhaps you mean her legal development ? (!) I'll
leave the subject till I find out what you do mean ; the
field is too wide for conjecture.
You ask my " honest opinion as to woman's purpose in
life " ? Sh-shut the door. Tell it not in Gath, publish it
not in the streets of Chorazin, but I do most sincerely be-
lieve that most of us do simply creep into this world to eat
and sleep. We know no reason why we are born, but
merely to consume the corn, devour cattle, fowl, and fish, and
leave behind an empty dish. But the fowl and fish would
soon pall upon our aesthetic senses without a spicy relish,
and that stimulating relish must be composed of fine
apparel and of lover's vows (!)
Your question, " Have women a right to propose ? " is
pertinent now, and asked with honest anxiety, I suppose.
And I answer the momentous interrogation with due
solemnity God disposes, man proposes, and woman poses
just between the two.
114
As to divorces, the knowledge that can be easily obtained
by lying, or for money, has become the nation's curse ! I
belong to a family that can be traced back on my father's
side 400 years, and on my mother's side 300, and on the
registrars of those families, that have been kept unbroken,
there has never been recorded an unhallowed marriage,
never a broken troth, never a love too lightly given, and
hear it, ye gods ! never an ancient single man, or woman !
The motto of my father's house was " Fidelity ; " the motto
of my mother's, " Blood Tells."
CASE 65.
DEAR SIR : Your card appearing in Sunday's attracted
my attention. It contained several hidden points, and per-
haps you may be curious enough to wonder what they are.
I, for the sake of being a trifle contrary, will not divulge.
But enough. "To be truthful," if I had not read you
were bent upon information you would not have heard
from me. Again, I am not wealthy, and if your kind object
ceases with the financial position, it does also with nay good
sense and brains. You must bear in mind that authors, as a
rule, are not lovely creatures either in manners, disposition,
or good looks ; still there is always something so very
attractive about them which seems such a drawing card
with some ladies. You are after information ? I am de-
sirous of meeting, or rather forming an acquaintance with, an
educated, refined gentleman. I have begun to enumerate,
so I shall continue. I am tall and slender, dark ; have
been considered very pretty (beg pardon), and have had
many educational advantages, and am a musician. You
have told you were an author. I am telling you I am a
musician perfectly true. My age is exactly twenty-three ;
am neither giddy nor silly, but your card in the paper made
me think it quite a cute way to have a really nice lady write
to you. I am very anxious to begin your discussion. You
had better not make the list too long, and not too many
questions for a beginning. I shall have to write but once
a week, when the family go to church, so as not to be dis-
115
turbed. If you have been educated abroad methinks you
may be shocked to correspond with a young lady whom
you know nothing about, and whose parents you have never
even seen. Never mind. I know I shall disgust you if I
keep this sort of nonsense up, but I really do know a little
about something intellectual. Trusting to hear from you
in the near future, I am respectfully yours
MY DEAR Mr. A.: Your kind and very interesting note was
received, together with the small cut of yourself (?) I am
very glad to see you have placed some confidence in me, especi-
ally in answering so promptly, and so differently from what
I had expected. You know "A little wit now and then, is
enjoyed by the best of men," so I may judge you enjoy wit,
wisdom, and song, providing it does not get too monotonous.
Now, I know you want my opinion of that picture, or
rather cut, you sent me. Well, I can say (as I write, it lies
before me) that there is intelligence before me in that fore-
head and those eyes, but there is such a peculiar look about
the eyes, and the style of dress, etc. that is the exact
Jac -simile oi a Salvation Army captain. Am I right? Either
you are one, or you are strongly connected with their work.
If so, we end our correspondence right here. Will you pardon
me for being honest and truthful ? I know you will when
you find I am so in everything. I think it no more than
right and honorable that you set the example of telling
me all about yourself. Don't you think that was rather too
much to ask just now? It is your place to say WHY you
put your advertisement in the paper, not mine to fathom it,
and more, to tell you everything, when it is your place for
explanations. Give me credit now for my just dues. How
many did answer you ? Now, if you are going to send
euts of yourself to every one, it is going to keep you busy
getting them printed, or getting the time to write to them.
But I find there must be something intensely interesting
in all of this. Either you have a pure motive and a good
purpose, or this is a fine scheme to fall into a net-work of
old maids who are wealthy and " manless." u Excuse me."
116
You wanted me to tell you my motives ? Yes ; well,,
some things had better be left unsaid. This is one of
them. It is never well to leave all you know to be told to a
person the first time you meet ; better have " still waters
run deep," and learn more and more every time you see
one another, than to be like : " The shallows murmur, but the
deeps are dumb." By the way, how extremely interesting
and self-conscious one must feel to be placed in a story or
book, and to be read about by thousands of people. I
have started to write many times, but have given up, like
many more poor donkeys who thought they had brains but
found that even common sense was wanting. Now, be
frank with me, be more explicit, and tell me about your
motive in writing, and I will tell you mine, which is very
short and simple. I know I have tried to be just girlish in
this letter, but I am just that way ; I am young, you know,
and have not quite gotten to be an old maid ; of course, by
all ends, I shall be one, for I care just enough for " neces-
sary evils " to be entertained. Now, I have written a great
deal of nonsense, and very fast, because I am busy this
evening ; have more writing to do. I shall hope to
hear from you soon, but I trust you will be as honest as,
yours sincerely
P.S. By the way, I have tried hard to fathom out what
that little mite of a scrap of paper means. Now, I do be-
lieve you have been a sailor, or something of that sort.
Tell me, will you f I will write you such a nice, kind, in-
telligent treatise on " modern women " that you will think
I had been studying for moons. I know that I have been
very much of a tease, but blame a woman's curiosity for
this intrusion. I trust you will explain and satisfy me, so
will say "good-night."
CASE 66.
In looking over the many advertisements of the I
must admit that your advertisement inserted in the " per-
sonal column" drew my attention to such a marked degree
that I came to the conclusion to answer.
117
Although I have never devoted myself exclusively to the
study of sociological subjects, still I think I am sufficiently
well posted on the same to insure you a pleasant literary
treat after I hear from you directly.
I am not a woman of experience, being only 20 years of
age, but have had all the advantages of a good education,
and profited thereby.
You will let me know if everything will be satisfactorily
arranged as to our correspondence concerning social science.
Awaiting an answer, I am
CASE 67.
Your advertisement interested me. Perhaps I should be
of use to you, and you to me. I also am an author, and
write novels. Will you address, please
Your letter awaited me on my return from . This
week I am in , but will be back in .
Please ask me specific, not general, questions. I do not
know what interests me most in women collectively ; each
ivoman I meet, however, interests me most of all in tem-
perament. Women are all different from each other, you
know.
Pardon the very briefest note. This is merely a line of
acknowledgment. I have an engagement to keep and am
late.
A few of these cases represent types of young women
who are greatly increasing in number. Some desire to study
social conditions. Some are specially interested in what is
called " the social evil." Many of them, in expressing their
opinions on these and other subjects of a delicate nature,
are often misinterpreted. But, as a matter of fact, many
women who talk frankly on such subjects are, personally,
of the highest moral character.
There seems to be ,a disposition (not complimentary to
human nature) to suppose that the study of evil makes the
person evil. It may be remarked that women of question-
able character are not infrequently those who desire the
least to talk earnestly on such matters. It is true, also,
that the majority of good conservative women do not care
to discuss such questions, but the reason is rather an
sesthetical than a moral one. It is certainly a question
whether the study of patho-social sexual subjects is wise
for women to undertake. But, whatever opinion one may
hold, it seems quite probable that women will enter into
such subjects more and more. The widespread interest in
studying the slums, and the college settlements of young
women in cities, indicate this tendency. If women intend
to investigate social evils in the world, it might be ad-
visable for them to familiarize themselves with medical
facts. Such a preliminary training would be a proper and
wise method of introduction to this field of study. Such
a course is not for the purpose of practising medicine, but
for the sake of the knowledge and insight that medical
studies give into the causes of the present unsatisfactory
condition of society.
CHAPTEE II.
EUROPEAN CORRESPONDENCE.
The following advertisement, with slight variations, was
inserted in some of the principal newspapers of Europe :
" Gentleman (de 1'education europeene) desires to cor-
respond, in German, French, or English, with lady (gebild-
ete Dame oder Studentin)."
This advertisement is less of a personal nature than
the previous ones. It was expected that those who an-
swered it would show either in themselves or surround-
ing conditions a less degree of abnormality. In general
the contents of the letters will confirm this supposition.
The following letter was sent as the first answer to all
the correspondents.
" Your kind letter is received. I shall be very pleased to
correspond with you. But to make such correspondence
interesting, I should be glad to hear something about
yourself (the more you have time to write, the better), what
you are interested in, your education, tastes, etc., etc. So
I trust your next letter to me will be a long one.
"As I have chanced to see much of the world and many
different people with very different ideas, you can write me
anything that comes into your mind, and you need not
fear that I will misunderstand it.
" While I shall be most interested in all you write con-
cerning yourself, yet, after you have done that, I shall be
happy to hear about your parents, relatives, or friends,
whom it is not necessary to mention by name. I am inter-
ested much more in the personality itself than in the
name. I think, now, you will have no difficulty in knowing
120
what to write about. Writing concerning matters that are
familiar is good practice in language, as the ordinary
words are employed most.
" Your correspondent's early education was in America,
and, subsequently, in Europe ; he is under middle age, but
more than 25 years of age, and is unmarried. He is a
student by nature, and is interested much more in persons
than in things.
" Hoping to hear all about yourself soon, I am
Those who replied to this were sent a second letter,
which read as follows:
"As I have asked you to favor me with details as to your-
self, it is no more than just that I should give you some ac-
count of my own life.
"I am of Scotch descent (don't know how celebrated my
ancestors ever became), educated in our public schools and
at college, where I took what they call the degree of A. B.,
which means A. B. C. ; that is, the alphabet of knowledge,
as it were. I then studied philosophy ; I found it delight-
fully ideal, but not adapted to this little world. So I finally
went to Europe and studied medicine and science for three
or four years. While I am serious in my studies, I mix in
the world a good deal go so far as to be gay.
" I am rather radical in some of my ideas ; am in favor of
* woman's suffrage ; ' in fact, of women having every privi-
lege man does, even of ' proposing.' This would be no
more than just, since the privilege of ' refusing ' has been
the exclusive right of the ladies ; it should also be a pre-
rogative of the men as well. A lady can ask a gentleman
to call, at least in our country. Why should she not be
allowed to ask more important questions ? This may seem
a little extreme, but it is the legitimate outcome of the edu-
cation and development of woman.
" I shall be glad to have your own ideas on these and
similar questions. Although such subjects are curious and
amusing, they are none the less important, and I regard the
opinion of women as more valuable than that of men.
" Write as long a letter as you can.
121
LETTERS IN ENGLISH.
CASE 58. Miss A. B. F.
LONDON.
SIB : Replying to your advertisement, I beg to say that,
being myself fond of correspondence, and desirous of keep-
ing up my knowledge of the French and German languages,
I should have much pleasure in acceding to your wish, un-
less your advertisement be exclusively addressed to foreign-
ers. During two years I enjoyed a very interesting cor-
respondence with a baron, who wrote most eloquently. It
was surprising what fluency I acquired through this inter-
change of written thought and ideas, for we communicated
in French, my correspondent understanding no English.
Circumstances arose which finally silenced our pens, and
now I feel the need of practice once more.
I think correspondence a very good way of preserving
one's knowledge of a foreign language, when one has not
the advantage of daily intercourse with foreigners. I do
not lay claim to perfection in either language, nor am I suf-
ficiently credulous to accept, without reserve, all the flatter-
ing comments on my proficiency made by natives. Praise
has its merits, however, as well as its demerits, for to the
truly intelligent it acts as a wholesome stimulant an en-
couragement to higher, to greater effort. Trusting my
proposition may be agreeable, I am, sir, faithfully yours
In reply to your note, 1 write to say that I shall be at
home (at my parent's residence, as above) on Monday next,
and will be pleased to receive a visit from you, about
6 o'clock P. M., if agreeable and convenient for you to call
at that hour.* This will afford us an opportunity of dis-
cussing continental life and peoples. Travelling and foreign
life in general have an infinite charm for me. The sense of
freedom is so delightful the feeling that one can observe,
unobserved and unknown ! The sprightliness and elasticity
of temperament, too, due, in great part, to climatic influence
* Author had written for permission to call.
122
(I refer more especially to the Latin race). I prefer to be
cosmopolitan, unprejudiced tolerant assimilating the
good and eschewing the bad whenever and wherever I find
it. I do not know if I be right in my supposition, but I
fancy from your missive that you are American. California
has of late especially attracted me. The life there must be
delightfully natural and informal, the people simple, good
and kind-hearted, and the climate and vegetation a dream 1
Unfortunately, a spirit of perversity and contrariety pervade
most things and beings terrestrial. There are people who
can travel and do not, because they have no interest in
travelling; and there are people (to the latter I myself
belong) who cannot, and would give anything to be able to
indulge this whim. It is, I suppose, the case of " forbidden
fruit." The knowledge that we may not partake of it in-
vests it with ten-fold attraction. Believe me, sir
SIR : I quite intended answering your kind letter, but
other occupations, I regret to say, prevented my intentions
attaining more material proportions. Your kindness in
forwarding me your pamphlet must, however, meet with
more prompt acknowledgment. It interested me much,
and further confirmed my own feeling on the subject in
question. I suppose you have read what Schopenhauer
said about genius, in his " Studies in Pessimism ? " I
thought it very fine. Chamf ort has truly remarked, " There
are few vices which hinder a man as much as great qualities
do from possessing many friends." This is true in more
senses than one. The every-day man feels dwarfed and of
no importance in the atmosphere of high intellect ; it is a
language he cannot comprehend, in which he has no part ;
he therefore, naturally, uncomfortable and out of his ele-
ment, shuns luminaries of the higher magnitude, where he
would suffer eclipse, preferring to shine in a humbler midst.
Then, again, the vagaries, eccentricities, and irrationalities
of an ill-balanced mind (which undoubtedly characterize
genius) are uncanny to the normal man. Doubtless you
had opportunities on board for experimenting with your
123
little instrument. I do not know if you celebrate Xmas
in America ; if so, I hope you have had a " pleasant time,"
as Americans say. I find more significance in wishes
for the New Year, as they are more comprehensive and are
for all time, representing, as it were, an interminable suc-
cession of arches, which bridge over and connect past with
future years. Believe me
Faithfully yours
Miss A. B. F. is a lady of about thirty, of fine appearance,
living with her three unmarried sisters in a fine residence,
and, as it would seem, with independence. She is very lib-
eral in her ideas, well educated, and cultured, speaks French
and German. Her sisters came into the room and the
author was introduced to all. Everything indicated culture
and refinement.
Miss A. B. F.: least sensibility to pain r. hand 5 kilos, 1.
hand 5 kilos. One sister r. hand 5 kilos, 1. hand 8 kilos.
Another sister r. hand 5 kilos, 1. hand 10 kilos. Miss A.
B. F. has a little less sensitiveness than the average. Her
two sisters, especially the last, showed some lack of sym-
metry in their nervous system, as their left hands were ab-
normally obtuse to pain.
The letters of Miss A. B. F. are in themselves most normal.
But to correspond with a stranger and to allow him to call
is quite contrary to English social custom. Miss A. B. F.'s
love of freedom, her experience in travelling, and living in
foreign countries may be the factors that influenced her in
making such an adventure.
CASE 59. COUNTESS A. B. G.
SCOTLAND.
DEAR SIR : I should like very much to correspond with
you in German, as I am born German, and on a visit here
in Scotland.
124
I would prefer to mention my name later, when I know
with whom I have the pleasure to correspond.
Will you kindly direct your answer simply under the
chiffre Miss , post-office. Post restante.
With kind regards, I remain, sir, yours,
COUNTESS .
DEAR SIR : I thank you very much for your amiable let-
ter, which I still received quite by chance.
I had asked twice in vain at the post office, and therefore
I gave it up, expecting no news of you any more. Then, by
chance, I bought some stamps at the post-office, when sud-
denly your answer came to my memory and I got that let-
ter, which had been lying there longer than a week. To
speak openly (what I always do), I wonder that you do
not write to me in German, as you wanted an exercise in
that language. I am able to correspond in French as well,
but, having not much sympathy for the French and their
language, I prefer English or German.
It would interest me very much to hear a few particulars
about yourself; but do not think, therefore, that I am
gifted with a great portion of female curiosity, as this is,
indeed, not the case.
I should be pleased to receive soon a letter from you, and
I beg you to answer this as soon as possible, as it may be
possible that I go this month on a short visit to Germany,
and I would like to get your letter before my departure,
so that you do not lose my address.
Is America your native country, or is it Scotland ? Now,
dear sir, with best wishes and kindest regards, hoping to
hear soon of you, I remain yours, most sincerely,
COUNTESS .
N. B. This is my real name.
CASE 60. COUNTESS A. B. H.
PARIS.
DEAR SIR : I read this morning your notice in the
c? */
thus I answer you this. I speak about seven languages
125
and I answer you for this first time in your own native one,
which was once also mine. Alas ! having left the United
States when a mere child, I have become altogether French ;
thus for your better benefit and perfection of our charm-
ing language I advise you to let us exchange letters in the
French language. Never mind if you make now and then
a fault. Now I inform you I published a novel, entitled,
. This is rather a sensational work of the day ; besides,
it is my own history of life. By an accident on my eyes I
was nearly two years blind, and all on a sudden, besides
some unfortunate lawsuit loaded a lot of trouble upon me.
I hope you will be pleased whilst I send you this book.
Now, you see, as any author likes to get plenty editions of
his work to be sold, I should be rather much pleased if you
make a propagation in favor of my book. I am sure it
will be easy for you to sell, perhaps, some editions.
Please write me, also, to what family you belong, and
what your own profession or business is. I, for my part,
hate all lies and false pretensions, but I am simple, true,
and straightforward in all my doings. I was only 1 J years
married, and I am since some years a widow. I am since
five years in lawsuit with my formerly furniture merchant,
who forged high bills upon me, and who ruined me, too.
Nevertheless my lawsuit might, after all, be gained in a few
months later on.
I live more or less in Paris. My house is out of Paris.
I have a large garden, chickens, ducks, rabbits and such
kind of domestic animals, which are useful in their way,
and which are at the same time a comforting company for
me. As I travelled nearly all over the world, I brought
with me a charming little parrot from Eio de Janeiro ; be-
sides, I have a nice black cat. Thus, should you like to
come for a little refreshment this next summer here to
Paris, you might descend at my house and I dare say you
will be pleased. I guide rather a retired life, for I am a
soul for myself, and the world in general annoys me, for
there are so very few true people in this world ; besides,
when one is in sadness friends are rarely to be found,
helas !
126
Thus, you see, dear sir, I am not rich, for the moment ;
besides, its business matter, case you like to charge your-
self to sell my book. You need only to write me how
many editions I shall send to you, and send me the money
before.
P. S. Also in all your actions towards me, to yourself,
and towards those you might have to deal with on behalf
of my book you must be discreet and clever in managing
the matter. A. tantot.
CASE 61.
VIENNA.
DEAR ME. A.: The sweetest part of your letter was, with-
out doubt, the style of your addressing me. In accordance
with your wish, I begin my letter by giving you a short ac-
count of my parents. My mother is, by birth, a German ;
my pa, an Austrian. I was from my infancy accustomed to
comfort and petting. Very fond of study, yet would brook
no discipline. My two younger sisters and I had an equal
fortune ; but my mother, being a practical housewife, often
reproached me for making no proper use of my talents I
was proficient in high art needle-work, dressmaking, and
millinery, etc. till I, as an obedient daughter, agreed to her
wish to open a shop ; but my experience was a dreary one.
In the first place, the agents took advantage of my inexpe-
rience ; thus I lost almost the whole of my fortune. In the
second place, I could with difficulty adapt myself to the
manners of a shopwoman. I did not find it so hard in
America, as the difference of rank is not so marked as in
Europe. A year afterwards I made the acquaintance of an
American who fell in love with me and wished to marry me,
without the slightest selfish motives. His noble form, his
intellectual expression, his manly bearing, which would have
repelled a less ardent and romantic heart, had for me an
inexpressible charm, too. But my mother would not give
her consent, owing to the difference of religion, though, I
suppose, I had not retired into the solitude of my own soul
until that period. As friendship is a twin-sister of love, he
127
wished me to remain his friend in the noblest sense of
the word. But I felt I must be all to this man or nothing,
and found it better to part. Since that time we never met
again. I was, however, distressed beyond measure, and fell
ill. When recovered, I made up my mind to study his lan-
guage. One of our acquaintances spoke to me of a perfect
tutor. I went to him and asked his price. It was an ex-
tremely high one, and I frankly. acknowledged that I could
not pay more than 1 fl. an hour, as I have to pay it out of
my own pocket. " Well," he said, " I suppose I will make an
exception, for you seem to be a spoiled child, which I, never-
theless, think capable of such sensations as I intend to ex-
cite. You will have to submit yourself to my authority ;
will you ?" I looked up and saw that an expression of in-
effable sympathy came into his azure eyes. That wretched
fellow, I thought, how he wants to frighten me with his
authority and all similar nonsense. He will, no doubt, be-
come one of my best Courmachers!
We began our lessons three times a week, each one last-
ing two hours, and I felt, though not too painfully, his
superiority. There came a day when he expressed a wish
regarding my study, to which I opposed. He repeated the
request, but in vain. Then he firmly insisted upon his will.
I got sick of it and left the room. The same night I could
not find any rest, yet I was too proud to excuse my behav-
ior. The second day afterwards I entered the room and
found him engaged in conversation with a friend of mine.
That perplexed me, because when it happened that some-
body wished to pay me a visit, he made my visitor go to
another member of the family and wait for me. " You will
witness now a lesson quite peculiar in its kind, Miss ,"
he said to my friend. My lips turned colorless, while a
shudder ran through my frame, as he compelled me to kneel
down and ask his pardon. Shame and terror overwhelmned
me, a cry of anguish escaped my mouth, and I fell senseless
on the ground. How long it lasted till I recovered I do not
know. When I lifted up my eyes I found myself on the
sofa. " It took rather much time till you recovered your
senses, dear child,' 1 Mr. exclaimed. "Do not allow
128
your work to be undone, and better kill me, for I cannot
live and look into any man's face ! " I found my friend
gone, and burst into tears. " I know I must have deeply
wounded your heart, darling," he said when bending down
to meet my eyes, " but you cannot expect an elevation for
which you will not pay the price. On the whole, my execu-
tion will be considered by you as severe, but is by no means
more than a strict and just one; for, you may believe me, I
feel nothing so heavy on my heart as causing you suffer-
ings." " I know that I am to blame, Mr. ; I only did not
wish to show you my repentance," I cried, and flung myself
at his .feet. "Pray forgive me only for this time. I shall
never do it again ! " " Surely I will," he replied, moving
me up to my seat. "But now I think it better to leave you ;
you are too nervous. Do not say anything to mama!"
But also in the future everything that can be effected by
strict discipline was obtained till I had lost a will of my own
and acquired a love of and habits of subordination and
punctuality which I never dreamt of before. In those days
it was the first time that my soul learnt how to climb up to
heaven. How sincerely did I often direct my fervent
prayer for the guidance of God's Holy Spirit, that He may
give His instruction to me, the ignorant, and so enlighten
my understanding that I may be a capable and devoted
pupil for my adored tutor, who deserved this so much, and
I cannot but notice how amply these prayers have been met.
Owing to a heart affliction, Mr. died suddenly, as
when a lamp is blown out by a gust of wind, and I, having
lost in him the truest friend, could only press in death the
lifeless head to my bosom, murmuring, " Father, I thank
thee!"
After this change in my life I tried to govern myself
by the rules left to me by that wise philosopher. I re-
solved to exhibit in America ; this gave me, however, an
opportunity of perceiving the want of artistic taste in
American ladies, so much cultivated in us European women.
After such vain struggles in different directions, you
may easily fancy that I was at last so reduced, though I
brought money enough from home and had saved some,
129
I, that is true, lent to people whom I knew were in
need, but whom I shall never see again, that I had to bor-
row of my cousin.
You will see that I received no very agreeable impression
of your country, and still I long again to tread its paths,
for the reasons stated in my first letter.
I trust that, if not in the " sparkling style," at least in
the frankness of it, I have surpassed my fellow-correspond-
ents. Do I not deserve an equal frankness on your part ?
I will close by informing you that I am also under
middle age, but more than 25 years of age, which circum-
stance will scarcely contribute to my pefection. Will it 1 ?
CASE 62.
GERMANY.
I read your advertisement, and it will be a little amuse-
ment to write to you. I would not have done it if you were
in Europe, but America is so far away from my home that
there can be no danger in it.
I am very fond of the English language, but have not
much occasion to exercise it, and so it would be nice if I
write you in English and you answer in German, for your
improvement. A French correspondence is not after my
wish. I don't like that language ; perhaps I am not so
perfect in it. (You will laugh " The fool thinks she is per-
fect in English, with that lot of mistakes in the letter ! No,
no ; I don't think "so.")
I infer you have been in Europe. What parts did you
see? It would be a subject to speak about. I never was
in America, nor anybody of our family, and so all my wis-
dom of that land I learnt from books.
But enough. Now you know that I have time and would
take pleasure in writing to you. In the next letter, if you
are inclined to answer (you may write English, French, or
German, as you like it), I will tell you of the life in my native
land, and of all what you like to hear.
Full of expectation, A.
Please send the letter under the address of my grand-
father.
130
CASE 63.
SCOTLAND.
DEAR SIR : I am favored with your kind note. You have
asked me specially to tell you all about myself, and I think
that, in using the English language, I am more likely to
convey a true impression of my real character. I have
already told you that I am a Scotchwoman, and my educa-
tion is altogether Scotch. I am not young, past youth,
but I don't think I could be called middle-aged ; about 5 feet
three inches in height ; slight build ; dark hair, worn in short
curls all over the head ; dark eyes, and dark complexion.
To write about myself is, for me, a rather unpleasant
task. Most women are supposed to take pleasure both in
writing and in speaking of themselves. That I am an ex-
ception to this rule is, I suppose, one of my peculiarities.
I am interested chiefly in education, naturally so. I am
specially interested in the study of foreign languages and
of philology. I have never, like you, enjoyed the privilege
of studying on the continent. I only wish I had. My tastes
are, I venture to say, all refined. I love whatever is beau-
tiful, either in nature or in art, and nothing but what is
good, and pure, and true, in man or in woman, can claim
my admiration. My disposition is naturally cheerful, but I
have known much that is sad, and this has left its stamp
upon a spirit peculiarly sensitive.
I am timid, shy, and reserved, but when I meet a frank,
unreserved nature, then I can be unreserved in return. My
disposition is sympathetic and affectionate, capable of lov-
ing passionately, and of hating with equal sincerity. In
this I don't think I would be considered a typical Scotch-
woman, as wild, contending, conflicting passions, such as
mine, are supposed to belong to the sunny South. I think
this is a mistake, however, for, I believe, with the poet, that
" Warm, and true, and tender, is the North."
Have you ever read " The Mill on the Floss," by George
Eliot ? If you have, and can remember " Maggie Tulli-
ver," then I think you will have a pretty correct picture of
me, in many traits, at least, for I have never read of any
character where I seemed to see my other self so much as
131
in her. Of my friends, my relatives, at least, I can write
very briefly. I am almost alone in the world. My parents
are both dead. My mother I lost so early in life that I
can only say I have never known a mother's care ; but I do
know what it is to have missed that care. My father,
too, died more than 14 years ago. If they have left me no
other inheritance, they have, at least, left me an honored
name. My two brothers are both in your country.
I live here with a friend, partly as her companion, and at
one time her daughter's governess, but she is now grown
up, and is meantime at a school in England, finishing her
education. I fear a great deal of this letter must seem
like self-praise. I don't in the very least mean it in that
way ; I am too honest for such a thing. When I say that
I can only be truthful and honest, I don't think it is at all
due to any credit in myself that I am so. I am straight-
forward and honest, because I cannot be anything else ; it
lies in my nature to be so.
I shall be glad to have you reply to me, and tell me also
all about yourself, and
CASE 64.
ENGLAND.
DEAR MK. A. : You ask my opinion of " Woman's Suf-
frage." I think it would be an utter failure. The majority
of women are too impulsive they allow their heart to
govern their head and, as to women leading public lives,
I think the idea is detestable. A woman should first and
foremost be womanly. I think certainly that women seem
to be gaining on men ; at least, I certainly consider myself
quite as clever as most of the younger generation of men
here, and mine is a very ordinary sort of intellect; but
women have certainly developed tremendously, both physi-
cally and mentally, whilst men seem to have stood still. I
think they should be taught to be strong, self- helpful, and
practical, so that they may be able to take care of them-
selves and of their own interests in life. Every boy and
girl should be taught to work for themselves. It is ab-
132
solutely cruel the way, here at least, girls grow up with the
idea that they are sure to marry as time goes on, and the
father probably dies and leaves them almost penniless ; they
realize too late that they will have to fight their own bat-
tle of life without having received the slightest training.
But as to them trying to keep equal with men in all em-
ployments, it is utter nonsense. Mentally they might, but
physically they never will ; and if they even try to become
clergywomen, doctors, engine-drivers, policemen, etc., just
imagine what coarse creatures they would gradually de-
velop into. Have you ever seen those old pictures of
Leech's, where the father is nursing the babies, and the
mother farming ? A strong-minded female is an abomina-
tion. You don't really think women should propose, do
you ? I fancy few women would care for that ; the risk
alone is too great. It seems to me it is men that want re-
forming to be taught women are weaker than themselves,
and to treat them with a little chivalry not to use them
for their own brutally selfish pleasure, and then leave them
to face the consequences by themselves. However, I ex-
pect you regret ever having asked my views.
CASE 65.
AUSTRIA.
DEAE ME. A.: At last I am making an essay to answer
yours of the 25th ult. In compliance with your request, a
part of my letter must necessarily be purely egotistical.
I am under middle age, but over 25 years of age, and, for-
tunately, unmarried. The worst part of it all is, I am poor
and obliged to earn i ly daily bread ; but poverty is no dis-
grace.
At present I have an excellent engagement as English
governess in a very rich family.
I am an Englishwoman, and have lived in Austria for
six years.
I have many friends in England, but not many relations.
My parents are both dead. I am descended from a good
old Shropshire family. My education that was a failure.
133
I ought to have studied medicine or something else. I con-
sider a woman a fool for being a governess.
I have had a good sound English education ; music I
studied, but, as I am not musical, I practice it no more i.
e., I only play the piano sometimes, when I am alone, for my
own amusement. Music must be innate or it is worth noth-
ing. Nevertheless, I enjoy classical music, and in Austria
one has plenty of opportunity of hearing really good music.
The Viennese are a merry, light-hearted, " gemiitslich,"
music-loving people.
I read a great deal, English and German ; also a little
French, by way of a change, sometimes. I have travelled a
great deal in Austria and Tyrol. I have been from the north
to the south of the latter seven or eight times.
I love the mountain scenery, but I often long for a
sojourn by the sea. The sea is to me, as it were, an old
sympathetic, soothing friend. To listen to the beating of
the never-tired waves, as they dash on a rocky shore, is
one of my greatest pleasures.
CASE 66.
ENGLAND.
DEAR ME. A. : I am going to take advantage of your sug-
gestion this time and plead the same excuse, viz., that I
have much to do and it takes less time to write in English.
Now I will try to give you my ideas on the subject of
" Woman's Bights," tho' I am afraid they will not quite
coincide with yours. I fear I am rather behind the times,
but, although one hears a great deal about the "New
Woman," I do not think she is, as yet, often to be met
with, at least not in England ; but I believe America is
ahead of us in many respects.
As it is, I think women have quite as many privileges as
men have, although not the same ; and if we want to par-
take of theirs, it would be only natural that they should
want to share ours, which I should object to. At the same
time, I do not think that a woman's intellect is in any way
inferior to that of man's. This, I think, has been proved
by the fact that, of late years, many of the highest places
134
in our university examinations have been taken by women ;
but a woman's sphere of usefulness, though not less im-
portant, is quite a different one to that of man's ; let her,
by all means, be educated as much as possible, but make a
different use of her education. I certainly did object to
the position woman held in most German households,
where she seemed, to me, to be looked upon more as her
husband's housekeeper than companion, tho' I must
acknowledge she seemed perfectly content with the ar-
rangement, and to aspire to nothing more.
As to a woman having the right " to propose," I doubt
whether that would be desirable. In any case, I think it
ought to be the exclusive privilege of one side or the other,
or much awkwardness might ensue, and, as far as I am con-
cerned, the men are welcome to it.
I do not think it would ever do for both to have the same
" rights." There must naturally be some acknowledged head
in a household, or continual heart-burnings would result ;
besides, their natures are different, and a woman wants to
look up to and respect a man and then finds it no hardship
to submit to him.
Much as I dislike a "womanish" man, I think a "mascu-
line " woman is still more objectionable.
You have asked me to give you my ideas at length, and
without fear of misinterpretation, so you must not mind if
I have expressed myself too freely.
You say in your letter that you took the degree of A. B.
I do not think we have any such degree in England.
After my return from Germany I resolved to work up for
the B. A. of London, and accordingly went in for the first
of the exams., but (shall I confess it?) failed to pass. I
intended to have had another try, but I left London shortly
after, and since then have had little opportunity for study-
ing.
CASE 67.
ENGLAND. *
I suppose I must answer your questions. You believe
in u womens' rights." Das ist verstdndig. I fear my opin-
135
ions are not at all radical ; they once were so, but time has
modified them. I don't see, however, why women should
not enjoy the most, if not all, the privileges that man en-
joys. As in this country, at least we far outnumber the
other sex, then it follows that a great number of us must re-
main unmarried, and a great proportion earn their own
bread, it is only fair that we should have the same oppor-
tunity of acquiring a profession as our brothers have, and
the chance of trying to compete with them in that profes-
sion. Whatever tends to make woman's life nobler and
brighter has my hearty sympathy, and I hope always will
have it. But pray don't imagine that I think a single
woman's life must be a miserable or unhappy one. That
does not follow. Though a life of wedded bliss is what
woman naturally desires, it is quite possible to be happy if
one has work that keeps one's faculties fully employed and
the mind interested. Some people have an idea that higher
education unfits woman for the ordinary duties of every-
day life, but that is all nonsense. It only fits her all the
more for becoming a good wife and a good housekeeper.
Surely it is only an educated woman who can be a fitting
companion for an educated man. For my own part, I don't
think I have ever acquired any kind of knowledge that I
have not found of practical use. You have asked me spe-
cially to tell you what I think about woman having the right
to make proposals to men.
I think this is a right that no true woman will ever claim.
It is man's right by nature, and amid all that is changing
and changeable around us, has not human nature been the
same in all ages ? I think if the study of history has taught
me anything, it has impressed this fact upon me, above all
others.
Besides, as man is expected to provide a home for the
woman, he should have the chance of choosing, as best he
may, the person he would like to share his home with him.
Don't be envious of the privilege of " refusing." I don't
think that is any pleasure, and even if it were you need not
grudge us that trifling satisfaction. But that is neither sat-
isfactory nor pleasant ; you may safely take that for granted.
136
A woman never enjoys giving a man pain ; but if people
know each other sufficiently well, the one can easily find out
whether he will be acceptable to the other. Have I not
written you a long letter ? and it is time for me to stop, es-
pecially as it is so fearfully serious.
CASE 68.
ENGLAND.
DEAR SIR : Your letter to hand. Must I confess that after
reading it I laughed till I cried ! Don't be cross, Monsieur^
but you must own that to advertise for a French or German
correspondent and then to correspond only in English does
seem funny, and your letters hitherto (you promised not to
take offence at anything I said) strike one as if you typed
off several that would suit various correspondents, just
adding a few lines in your own handwriting that may bear
a little reference to what each in particular wrote about.
There ! Has the masculine brow grown very black and has
the masculine moustache been fiercely twirled (though I
forgot Americans are clean shaven, aren't they?) as,
after reading the above, you mutter, " Confound it ! What
does the woman mean by hitting the right nail on the head
in this fashion ! ! " " Plenty salaam, Monsieur," as a black
servant of ours used to say and and shall I go on or
have you had quite enough of this correspondent ?
But then ! have I not something to pardon, too ? Being,,
however, of a forgiving nature and quick to see the ludicrous
side of things, I herewith shake hands with you in amity and
assure you of my forgiveness for your novel manner of pro-
curing yourself a correspondent or shall we say corre-
spondents ? for who knows if you did not put an adver-
tisement in a French and German paper as well as an
English one in an original desire to study national types ! I
But, since the idea teas original, I have nothing more to say.
Originality, even at one's own expense, is always refreshing ;
and then you say you are an earnest upholder of woman's
equality. After that admission, what can a woman do who
has a strong belief in and admiration for her own sex but
137
be amiable and continue the correspondence in the hope
of mutual intellectual benefit.
As to the question of the " New Woman," though most
desirous to see her placed on a high level, I arn afraid I do not
agree with her arrogating to herself rights that would take
her out of the sphere designed her by nature. I do not
admire what specimens I have yet seen of the Anglo-New
Woman, much less have I admired some of her books. If
to be as masculine as possible in dress, style, and manner,
to smoke, to be fond of " sport," and the stables, to be a crack
shot, and to be loudly self-assertive on all topics, with a blush
for none, would be the end of woman's struggle for perfect
equality with man, then my feminine soul shrinks with
loathing from such society hermaphrodites and I should
prefer to let progress, in connection with them, alone. I
do not like, also, the idea of woman usurping every arena
hitherto open to man. Should she ever enter parliament,
the bar, etc., I foresee a state of topsy-turvydom to
which Eden, after the serpent's visit, would be nothing.
For a few noble and large minds that could steer affairs or
render justice wisely and well, there would be hundreds of
lesser women playing the mischief by allowing their hearts,
and impulses to influence their heads ; and as woman can
rise higher than a man spiritually, so, if she fails to rise, is
her decline more rapid, assured, and more disastrous in its
effects on others. And yet no one desires more ardently
than myself to see woman elevated to her proper level, side
by side with man only not as man. Why must she ape
his ways and manners and lose the charm of her own soft
individuality ? Do you remember Tennyson's description
of a "New Woman" in his *' Princess ?" Well! I think
it the loveliest picture of that true equality of the sexes
ever written, and that is the plane to which I would see
womanhood raised so that men may respect and reverence
it not pull it to pieces and lightly make a jest of what was
given them to be their " glory." As daughter, mother, wife*
sister, and friend, woman's present standing can be raised
in a thousand ways, and when this is done the true progress,
where she is concerned, will be accomplished. But I must
138
leave my ideas on this point for future letters, if required
as there is your " proposing " question to be answered. I was
only reading the other day an article in one of our papers,
written by one of our English " she bachelors." It was im-
possible to help being amused at her ardent desire to make
love to some man, " to see the confused and sensitive blush
rise to his manly cheek under her soft whispers, and to have
the supreme pleasure of hearing his faltering acceptance of
her passionate love-vows" ! ! ! Do you like the picture,
Monsieur ? I confess I don't, and did I ever see such a one,
I am afraid I should be fiercely tempted to slap the woman
first and the man afterwards, or vice versa. This gay young
" bachelor " did not go on to state what her feelings might
be if refuted. I suppose she fancied that impossible. I
should like to have told her of a certain young lady of ad-
vanced views who, falling desperately in love with a man
who did not reciprocate her affections, went boldly to his
rooms one day and deliberately proposed to him, to his
horror and confusion. Happily he was a true gentleman,
and, after explaining as well as he could that his affections
were engaged elsewhere, he managed to get her home, after
dire threats that the young lady would shoot herself at his in-
sensibility, etc. In fact, she was quite beside herself for days.
Such a case doesn't argue well for the new regime, and
hardly looks as if it would be ever permanently successful.
No ! No ! It is too utterly a reversal of the order of nature.
Perhaps I am still a bit old-fashioned. I am an English-
woman, you see, and I think a woman's chief claim to
man's regard should be her innate purity and modesty,
and if she has not these she is minus the dower of
true womanhood. Between these and prudery there is
a vast step. By the way, refusing an offer is not so
pleasant a thing as you men seem to imagine. If, some-
times, it rejoices us to give a snub to an over-confident ad-
mirer, it is always a real source of regret to say that terri-
ble " no " to one whom we know deserves all we could give
him could our hearts speak. A man, too, rarely, unless very
vain, feels humiliated at a refusal. He has given of his
best, and, if unappreciated, it is his misfortune, not his
139
fault, and he realizes that any true woman feels this. But a
woman refused would feel herself scorned, and you know
what the poet says of such a one. That inherent touch of
femininity makes her shrink from the least slight to her love,
and stings her with a keen sense of humiliation. Of course,
time and custom might eradicate much of this feeling, but
I fail to see what good could be gained by their so doing.
Let heiresses with poor and delicate-minded lovers, and
those women blessed with honest but shy suitors, be the
only ones allowed the privilege of hinting at the state of
their affections. But if to woman in general this preroga-
tive is given gare a vous, messieurs tous who are so fool-
ish as to encourage the idea ! Think of the spinsters of a
certain age that may then eagerly pursue you with their
fond embraces the Nemesis of their wrath when these are
hastily and affrightedly rejected. Think of the despair of
the male heart at having to refuse half a dozen youthful
and charming girls, when still unattached in particular and
feeling " How happy could I be with either " ! ! ! If the re-
jected ones set upon you and playfully tear out your hair
by handfuls well, you know you wanted the experience of
refusing a few offers in your turn. What right, then, have
you to complain because woman's nature is not so philo-
sophic as that of man ! ! ! And now with this alarming
picture I must draw my long letter to a close
CASE 69.
SCOTLAND.
Fraulein would be pleased to correspond with you,
perhaps once a fortnight or once a month, in French, unless
you might prefer a German letter now and again. She
Las spent two years in France. She is a socialist and
would be very much interested in hearing about the condi-
tions of the people in America. Fraulein thinks she pre-
fers to live in the " Old World," instead of the busy conti-
nent across the Atlantic. What a contrast between Russia
and America ! She has had invitations from relations in
either country ; thinks decidedly America might please her
140
better, as in Russia she would be sure to be locked up as a
nihilist.
SCOTLAND.
It is curious : I who generally am able to read people's
characters rather easily, from having come in contact with a
great many people of different temperaments and nationali-
ties, who, for the very reason that towards me they have no
motives for hiding their true character, show themselves
mostly in their true light am unable to make out much of
yours. Perhaps it is because you write with a typewriter,
which gives a letter the look of a printed circular which
might have been reproduced any number of times, and of
the little I have seen of your writing I can scarcely be al-
lowed to judge. Perhaps you reckon your correspond-
ence among your frivolous pastimes and are sharing it
with your friends to get a laugh at the Old-World notions
of some one across the sea.
I will tell you frankly why I answered your advertise-
ment ; it was for rather a selfish reason. I imagined the
advertiser to be a lady, who might, in a year or two, when
my sister and I wish to return to , send us some
American boarders, who might wish to finish their education
in Germany. When it turned out that I had been mistaken,
it would have seemed silly to say I did not wish to corre-
spond with a gentleman, because I am perfectly above
those scruples. I only know from experience what a fasci-
nation a correspondence with a clever though unknown per-
son has (the fascination mostly arises from the distance,
which allows one to write just what one thinks) ; but not
wishing to create a want in one's life, which one day or
other will cease to be satisfied, I am certain it will be best
not to continue our correspondence, however interested I
might be in it. The correspondence to which I alluded
above took place a few years ago with an Englishman an
M. A. who lived in Switzerland. I had answered an ad-
vertisement : '* Lady, speaking French and German, wanted
in English family in Switzerland to help young people with
their studies," etc. When I found out that they were mov-
141
ing from place to place, I wrote back I was not old enough
to occupy such a position. The gentleman wrote again and
offered to help me find an engagement in England ; thus
the correspondence went on for nine or ten months, and I
felt perfectly restless when my regular friendly letter did
not come every week. At last we met in London, and I
found him an old man without dignity, for he wished to ap-
pear still young. Whenever I noticed that he wished to
include me in his future plans, I left London without say-
ing " good-bye," in order to save myself the trouble of using
our negative privilege, of which you spoke in your letter.
Two months later we met again on quite friendly terms, as
he had gotten over his disappointment, if he, with his selfish
wishes, had any right to feel aggrieved. I know I was
nearly driven wild at the thought that my corresponding
with him had given him any right over me. Since then I
am the recipient of very formal New Year's congratulations
every year, but I assure you I was completely cured of any
desire to carry on a correspondence with any stranger
again.
You touch, in your letter, upon the question of " Women's
Bights." I must confess there are other questions, politi-
cal, religious, and social, that lie nearer to my heart ; of
course I claim for women the same right that men have of
living out their own life, fully developing their mind in
whatever direction their talents may lie, and of gaining for
themselves an independence. I would wish for everybody
that free education (also in the highest branches) was ob-
tainable, so that girls would not have to be thrown on the
marriage-market (ball-rooms, London season, or whatever
you choose to call it), and which would not make marriage
a failure in ninety cases out of a hundred. My three best
friends are living object-lessons to me of this all married,
but not one of them happy, except in their children ; of course
they all married without love the first because she wanted
to be engaged at 21 ; the second for wealth and position in
her own town, instead of following the man she loved to
South America ; the third, a beautiful and noble girl, whose
parents had been wealthy, but who found they were bank-
nipt after her father's death ; so, in order to make a home
for her mother and herself, she married a man beneath her
in education and everything however, very devoted to her.
When first we met, after this, I questioned her why she
had done it ; she said : " Helene, I felt too weak to battle
with the world, and would have done anything to escape
those creditors !" Had she but come to me, I would will-
ingly have worked for both of us. Now, whenever I go to
see her I feel each time that she has come down more and
more to the intellectual level of her husband. The latter
is a dead letter between us, but I know that I am still
more to her than he ever will be. The other two friends
always say I would get on with their respective husbands
better than they do, of course, just because I am not mar-
ried to them.
I would love to translate George Meredith's "Egoist"
for these German husbands, and hold it up to them as a
mirror of their own selfishness if I only had time to do it.
About the New Woman proposing to her future lord, that
puts me in mind of Grossmith, when he impersonates a
regular milksop receiving the proposal of a young lady
and answers most demurely, "Ask Papa! " This, of course,
is a parody of life ; unfortunately, such a man in our
present social state can marry the nicest girl if only he
has plenty of money ; it is that which enrages me, that girls
have not yet learned to prefer the dignity of honest work
to an unworthy marriage. Again, when a " Dodo," who
wants an influential position in society, tells an M. P.
that people say they are engaged, she is a monstrosity of
the present society, and it serves her right that the said
gentleman gave her the cold shoulder.
CASE 70.
LONDON.
DEAK SIR : Miss Dem. has been forwarding your letter to
me, asking me to continue her correspondence with you,
and, as I like some things which you say in your letter im-
mensely, I will write to you for once, at least. Why did
Miss Dem. begin a correspondence with you if she did not
intend to continue it, and what were her reasons to do it, I
wonder ? Perhaps she did not like your style. What /do not
like about your letter I may as well frankly tell you at once.
It seems as if you had a great many answers to your adv.
(which, by the by, I never read), and, in order to be able to
supply every one with a reply, you took the typewriter and
made it work for you. If I continued a correspondence
with you, one of my first conditions would be that you
write in your own handwriting, though I quite agree with
you, it is perfectly unreadable, and certainly very ugly.
(You might improve it. Practice makes perfect.) It took
me about ten minutes to decipher the few lines you wrote.
Secondly, you would have to tell me your age ; your sta-
tion in life ; whether you are good-looking ; if you visit Eu-
rope often ; if you are fond of music, fond of clever women,
or if you prefer physical beauty.
I myself am rather conceited. I know I am clever, and
I know I am pretty. I am 35 years old, but everybody
gives me 10 years less, except my own conscience. I am
North German, but my mother is French ; my father was a
clever master at , but died when I was 21. I am very mu-
sical, warm-hearted, full of fun, like a good joke, and to do un-
common things, or else I would not write to you ; but I like
your letter very much, and I think it is much nicer to cor-
respond with an intelligent man than writing gossip, and
vice versa, to girls. I feel now quite convinced that your
letter is one of many, because, glancing at it, I perceive that
you have not even addressed the person you write to, which
is about the greatest rudeness you can commit at least, in
writing to any one in Germany or in France. Your
laundress in France expects you to address her as
"Madame," and your seamstress in Germany is very of-
fended if you forget to join the " geehrter " to the " Frau-
lein." Are you American or are you Scotch ? I know a
good many American ladies, and I think they are perfectly
charming.
I hardly know an American, but they have the reputation
that they are exceedingly kind to women, and that speaks
144
for them. Are you a good linguist ? Though I am German
and love my country very dearly, I must confess that I pre-
fer talking French or English ; but I prefer German for
singing. However, I like to sing to my listeners in their
resp. tongues.
Glancing at your letter again, I see that at the end you
suddenly speak of yourself in the third person, having all
the time employed the first person. How very odd !
Do you expect anybody to write to you in any other lan-
guage but that in which your letter was written ? Well, if
you expect me to write to you in German or in French, I
must request of you ditto.
I wonder why a business man like you wishes to waste
his spare time in writing to persons unknown, instead of
reading a good French or German book ? I could recom-
mend you plenty of them.
I am returning your letter to its owner to-night. I like
its contents, but the sight of it offendeth my "Schonheits-
sinn."
I am, yours, faithfully
CASE 71.
CONSTANTINOPLE.
MY DEAK NEW FKIEND : Being a great admirer of the
American spirit, I shall not lose this opportunity of improv-
ing myself in better knowing this wonderful nation. But
before beginning this spiritual traffic I would be very glad
if you could give me a very elementary sketch about your
person. Answer, for instance, the following questions :
What is your age ?
What are the features of your face ?
What do you think is the aim of man in this world ?
What is your business ? And I give you at once the ex-
ample :
1st. I am 18 years old.
2d. Tall, slender, fair-haired, blue eyes, regular nose.
3d. (You write me first.)
4th. I have no business, but, as I have a talent for paint-
ing or letter drawing, I make portraits d'apres photographic.
145
If you like, I may make also yours. I may show to you
a sure place where you can send the photograph and the
money. The price is a very moderate one 50 francs per
portrait. Or, better, I shall indicate to you the place where
you may send it at once.
CASE 72.
CANADA.
DEAR SIR : Having read the enclosed advertisement, I
am answering it with the view of offering myself as a cor-
respondent for practice in languages as you desire.
It strikes me as rather an original way of studying lan-
guages, by corresponding with an utter stranger, and, to
be candid, it is for that very reason that I am answering
your advertisement. Its originality seems to me interest-
ing and out of the common, therefore worth the few
minutes it steals from time in writing to you.
Time is, or ought to be, one of the most precious things
we possess (or, rather, don't possess). You may gather
from this that my devoting some of my valued time on
you shows that I consider you, or your correspondence,
worth something to me in the way of improvement or to
you. No matter which end it accomplishes, one or the other
will be benefited, which will not be altogether a waste of
time.
Trusting to hear from you, I am, dear sir, yours very
truly
P. S. On glancing at your advertisement again, I see it
does not say to which sex you belong. I took it for
granted that you were one of the sterner sex. Am I mis-
taken ? I hope not.
CASE 73.
CANADA.
DEAR SIR : I have but just returned from a visit where I was
snowbound, and where, I need scarcely say, not even a
visited us. On glancing at the many back numbers of that
excellent paper, I was struck by the pertinacity and the
146
opportunity opened by your advertisement. " Better late
than never," so I want to enroll my modest name among
your (probably) many correspondents, as I have all the re-
quirements desired by you, and more. I hope to hear
from you soon, anyhow, and shall then commence my part
of the bargain, namely, to write in either language, pleas-
antly and freely, as man to man (not forgetting the wo.).
DEAR SIR : I was delighted to get your kind reply so
promptly ; then I was afraid I should be behind wicket.
I was disappointed, however, that you wrote in English.
Since you did so, I shall not write in French, because, per-
haps, you would not understand it, and I do not wish my
letters to be shown about. I have plenty of time, having
no families ties, unless two servants and a stag-hound can
be classed under that head. I live alone and enjoy life to
its fullest, attending all the concerts, balls, plays, and read-
ing all the latest books, and playing all the latest music.
I generally use a typewriter myself, but am out of ribbon.
Next time expect a type letter. You seem to have a weak-
ness for machine writing. I should much like to see your
writing. Perhaps you underrate its quality. I know the
coming race of man is supposed to be modest and retiring.
Now, I like the idea of a modest, quiet man ; one who
would run one's errands, fetch and carry at one's desire.
You see, I go in for the advanced woman, even thinking at
times she should make the offer of marriage to a man, es-
pecially to the modest, diffident one of the future. I am
descended from the of historical fame. I am young, and
unless my mirror flatters me (unlike most mirrors) I am
decidedly pleasant to look upon. I was educated in differ-
ent European cities, and have twice been around the world
with my cousin, Lord . Hoping to hear from you
soon, with kind regards
CASE 74.
NETHERLANDS.
DEAR Mr. A. : I am glad that you will correspond with
me, for I think it very funny to correspond with an un-
147
known. But my father would find it rather too funny, and
therefore he must not know anything of it, and I must ask
you to address your letters, post restante, to Miss .
My friend, whom I told of our correspondence, does not
like it at all, but I write you after all ; why not ?
I am a lady twenty-six years old and live with my parents
and my four sisters. My brother is at sea. Two of my
sisters are now in for recovery of their health, where I
brought them, and whence I wrote you the first time. Now
I am happily at home again. I thought it very dull in that
sanatarium, where every one lived for his health. Had I not
been there, I should not have read your advertisement, for
at home I seldom read a paper ; I find it very tiresome.
But for your European education, I should fear that I
might startle you very much, for I think that American
women are inseparable from newspapers. But then I should
be a scarecrow myself for being at home at twenty-six.
I ought to be a lawyer or the director of an insurance com-
pany, maybe a secretary or a postmaster. Now, Euro-
peanly educated American, I hope that I can pacify you by
telliog that I have passed examinations and might be a
governess. But I do not like much to be such a one, and
therefore I have stayed at home and am studying English,
and shall next year study French, and then I will really
leave home, probably to become a nurse. I have always
wished to be a nurse, but my father does not agree with
my wishes, and, to satisfy him, I have studied for a govern-
ess. Yet I think that I shall do as I like best.
You wrote me that I need not fear misinterpretation, but
I do not fear it no more than interpretation ; how could I,
from one whom I do not know at all ? That you under-
stand anything that one may write to you, I cannot be-
lieve. I wonder what you will think of me when we shall
have corresponded for some time, and whether you will
understand me fully, as there are so few people who do.
I hope to receive in process of time a regular account of
your understandings, and I promise to tell you honestly
how far you shall be right. Now I will tell you something
of my friends. I have only one friend, who is of the same
148
age as I, also living with her parents, but that is natural
(I hope it will be so in America too), because she is the only
daughter. She has some brothers, but what of them ! She
studies English also, but she is much cleverer than I, and
could write you far better letters ; but she would not do
so, for she thinks it childish. We have known each other
for ten years, and have quarreled but once about nothing ;
now we are, of course, too old to quarrel. People say that
we are always laughing at them, so be but content that we
cannot meet you in the street, for you would not like it at
all. Yet, though we like laughing very much, it is not true
that we laugh at others at least not often and we have
agreed several times to mock no more ; but you may know,
perhaps, how difficult it is to unlearn wickedness, especially
such that procures so much amusement.
This afternoon, when I was writing this letter, my friend
called and took me for a walk. She read this, and says
that I had better written that I am seventeen years old ;
but I will not deceive you. I shall, however, not pursue
this childish writing, and call myself yours truly
CASE 75. TYPICAL CASE OF AN AMERICAN WANDERER IN
EUROPE.
Mrs. A. B. I. was met incidentally at one of the steam-
ship rooms in Europe, where she came to read American
newspapers. She was talking with the agent, who asked
the author a question ; the conversation then became general,
and was continued between the author and her. After an
hour's conversation, the author questioned her quite directly
about many things. She remarked that she had been
spoken to by a young army officer in the street, and was
going to complain to the authorities. She was told by the
author that she should not have been alone on the street at
that time of day, and that she could not expect that the
city would change its customs for a few foreigners in town.
149
In answer to questions, she said that she had had it in
mind to go to Constantinople and then write up the journey.
She was dissuaded from this by author, because she had
had no experience in journalism. She seemed to be drift-
ing about Europe. She had been with friends till the
present, but they had returned, and now she was alone.
The author suggested she take up some study and not run
around Europe or she would very likely get into trouble.
She was almost persuaded to do this, but, being rather light
in mental caliber, she delayed ; she liked to have some one
try and persuade her, but she really had no intention of
doing anything ; her own pleasure seemed to be her end
and aim. She next turned up in another city, where the
author called on her. She was in rather modest quarters,
as she evidently was pressed a little for money ; but, to
counteract this appearance, she said that a " Count " lived in
the building, and some other high-standing people. (This
may possibly have been true.) She said she had come to
Europe to get away from her troubles. She said her father
treated her well until he married a second time, yet he never
did very much for her did not seem to pay much attention
to her. It was her mother who did everything for her that
was done. She admitted, however, that she was a " spoilt
child " she had had " her own way." Her stepmother was
the cause of the whole trouble ; she could not get along
with her ; she had stayed with her relatives in Europe for
two weeks, but " could not stand it any longer." She liked
German army officers so much, " they looked so nice." To
the objection of going with army officers on first acquaint-
ance, she answered, " I am independent and can take care
of myself ; I don't care for men." (?) She had received a
nice letter from her father to return and live with him.
150
She wrote him " that he must do something for her ;" he
must promise to make it " bright and happy " for her. She
expected to return in a month or so, yet liked it very well in
Europe. She has an income, but it is not sufficient to live
as she would like ; she will spend the principal later, if pos-
sible. " I want to enjoy myself. My friends tell me I will
fall in love with some man and marry him ; perhaps I may,"
she says earnestly, " but then I would get tired of him ;
men will not give me my own way ; I cannot get along with
them. I kissed my husband good-bye when leaving on the
steamer ; he did not know I was going to stay so long. He
married me for my money, but I am independent of him."
Mrs. A. B. I. is proud of her independence ; when her
money is gone, she said, " I will put an end to my life."
But when questioned further, she said, " I will go to work
and teach music ; I am a pretty good musician. I am over
here and have seen Europe [one country only] anyway, and
when I return I can say so."
Mrs. A. B. I. was a short, stoutly built woman, about 23
years of age, black eyes and hair, prepossessing and pleas-
ant in her conversation.
Algometer : Least sensibility to pain, 5 kilos in right
hand and 5 kilos in left hand. These figures indicate that
she is much more obtuse to pain than the majority of women
of her own nationality.
This case is an illustration of a growing custom among
Americans of allowing their daughters to travel and visit
about Europe alone. This is not only embarrassing but
sometimes dangerous, because many young women have a
very superficial knowledge of the foreign languages, and
still less of the customs. They are easily imposed upon.
Fortunately, they are often unconscious of how their actions
151
are interpreted by those around them. They sometimes
go into crowded restaurants alone, sitting near gentlemen ;
enter into conversation with them, thinking it good exercise
in the language, but having little idea of the class of women
in the country who behave at restaurants in like manner.
LETTERS IN FRENCH.
CASE 76.
STOCKHOLM.
MONSIEUR : Le hasard a fait tomber sous ma main un
journal illustre dans lequel j'ai lu votre annonce. Vous
desirez entrer en correspondance avec une personne sachant
les langues modernes.
L'idee m'a paru originale et interessante de correspon-
dre avec une personne inconnue loin de son propre pays,
car sachez que votre souhait est tombe dans un pauvre
petit pays bien eloigne du votre, tombe dans la neige et les
glaces dans le pays des Lapons (province de la Suede).
Vous avez peut-etre entendu parler de ce pays, de ce
peuple habille en fourrure, gardant des rennes, vivant sous
les tentes et ayant une temperature de 40 degres au des-
sous de zero (Celsius.) Mais je ne suis pas une laponne, je
suis suedoise d'origine fran9aise et habitant la capitale de
la Suede. Ce pays vous fournira bien des legendes ori-
ginales et charmantes.
Si parmi les mille et une lettres que vous recevrez de
toutes parts ma petite missive vous fait impression, et si
vous vous trouvez dispose u ouvrir correspondance avec
une petite suedoise, vos lettres trouveront la personne dont
voici 1'adresse :
CASE 77.
VlENNE.
MONSIEUR : J'ai lu votre annonce hier, dans la Neue Freie
Presse, et, trouvant qu'une correspondance avec un horn me
152
que je suppose bien eleve, instruit, pouvait etre un agreable
passe-temps, j'ai resolu d'y repondre d'autant plus qu'etant
donnee la distance je ne blesse, d'apres moi, nulle-
ment les convenances.
Essay ons tou jours ; peut-etre avons nous les memes gouts,
soit en litterature, musique, fa9on d'envisager la vie, etc.,
etc. Meme si nos idees sont differentes, une polemique en
pareilles circonstances ne saurait etre desagreable ; c'est
un echange d'idees ; savoir ce qu'un autre cerveau cultive
pense sur un sujet quelconque est toujours interessant.
Vous pouvez m'ecrire soit en fra^ais, anglais, allemand,
italien je vous comprendrai dans ces langues.
Si vous preferez conserver 1'anonyme choississez un pseu-
donym. Eeponse a 1'adresse suivante :
VlENNE.
MONSIEUR : La derniere fois que je vous ai ecrit, je vous ai
entretenude mon education, occupation favorite, voyages, etc.;
aujourd'hui je vais vous parler de mes opinions sur quelques
points generaux : politique, religion, etc., et je vais tacher
de vous donner une idee de mon caractere. Je ne puis
vous certifier que le tableau sera exact, d'apres le vieux
proverbe, on ne se connait pas soi-meme ; mais je le ferai
en toute franchise et me depeindrai telle que je me vois,
moi.
Done je commence. Je ne suis ni bonne, ni mauvaise, et,
si jamais, j'entre dans le royaume des cieux, ce ne sera pas
en raison du bien que j'aurai fait (lequel est nul, ou presque
nul) mais plutot du mal que je n'y aurai pas fait. Beaucoup
de qualites feminines me manquent [en revanche, j'en
possede d'autres, rares parait-il dans mon sexe ; chez moi,
elles ne sont pas le resultat d'une certaine bonte de coeur,
mais d'un grand defaut : 1'in difference pour la plupart des
gens et la plupart des choses] ; ce qui est entre parenthese
est 1'opinion d'un docte Allemand, et je crois qu'il a
parfaitement raison. II fait la allusion au peu d'interet que
je prends pour les petits cancans et medisances feminines.
Je manque absolument de jalousie, mais entendons nous, il
153
y a jalousie et jalousie, dans certaines circonstances de la
vie, je serais identiquement comme le reste des mortelles.
J'ai quantite de defauts, et, est ce jeu du hasard ou loi
generale, dans la vie mes defauts m'ont toujours servie, mes
qualites m'ont toujours une et, sans crainte de me tromper,
je pourrais leur attribuer la plupart des chagrins que j'ai
eus. J'ai une profonde antipathie pour tout ce qu'on
appele monde ou societe. Je suis 1'enfant des capitales,
mais j'aime la solitude au milieu de la grande ville, bref un
tout petit noyau d'amis me suffit. Le nombre de mes con-
naissances s'appele legion, celui de mes amis est tres
minime. J'appele ami toute personne dont la disparition
me ferait reellement souffrir. Malgre mon amour pour
la grande ville, j 'adore la campagne, et je hais la petite
ville.
Je ne me mele jamais de politique, a quoi bon, les
femmes n'entrent pas a la chambre (ce dont je ne me
plains nullement) ; ce serait done une pure perte de temps.
Dans ma vie, time is not money, et j'en ai malheureusement
passablement a perdre, mais le inettre la dedans, me parait
etre le pire placement que j'en pusse faire. Les journaux,
etant apres tout 1'histoire contemporaine, je les lis ici et la,
quoique sans passion. La difference des classes me cho-
que extremement ; ici je ne veux pas parler des titres, je
laisse aux sots 1'orgueil des neurons ; seulement je trouve
tres injuste que certains, par hasard de naissance, soient
entoures d'un luxe inoui et que d'autres aient a soutenir de
terribles batailles, simplement afin de pouvoir vivre. Quant
a moi, si ma position est trop peu pour inspirer 1'envie, elle
est trop pour que je retire, personnellement, un benefice
quelconque de quelque revolution sociale qui puisse sur-
venir. Done, en principe, je suis, si vous voulez, republi-
caine.
En matiere de religion, il m'est difficile de me prononcer ;
je ne sais pas moi-meme si je crois et a quoi je crois; a ce
sujet, je me reuferme completement dans le: Que sais-je?
de notre Montaigne. La chose peut vous paraitre absurde,
mais c'est ainsi. En tous cas, je ne crois pas aux religions ;
c'est a dire, que 1'une ne me parait ni meilleure, ni pire que
154
sa voisine. Sur cette ligne, Tolerance est ma devise et
chacun a le droit d'adorer Dieu, Allah, Jehovah comme il
lui plait, voir meme, de ne pas 1'adorer du tout, s'il n'y
croit pas. Je n'ai jamais compris le zele des missionnaires.
Deja si 1'on croit en Dieu, 1'idee qu'on doit en avoir est
de quelque chose d'immense, d'infini et les pauvres humains
font de lui un petit bourgeois, lorsqu'ils s'immaginent qu'il
fait attention a toutes ces minces peccadilles, lesquelles con-
stitutent la difference des sectes et des religions. De deux
hommes qui font le bien, lequel vous parait preferable:
celui qui le fait sans espoir d'une recompense future, ou
celui qui compte sur une vie a venir, sur une sorte de
Paradis ; j'admets meme que le sien soit plus ideal que
celui d'Odin avec son hydromel et ses Walkyries ; car je
me demande ce qui les enthousiasmait tant, ces vieux
Scandinaves, ce sont autant de choses qu'ils eussent pu
s'offrir sur terre, les chefs du moins.
Si sur mon chemin je rencontre une amie croyante, pieuse
meme, jamais, au grand jamais, je ne tache de la convertir
a ma fac^on de voir; la foi est, pour les femmes qui petivent
croire, une grande consolation; elle est une necessite pour
les classes non civilisees: par exemple, les mots honneur,
respect de soi-meme, autant de lettres mortes pour le mou-
jick, pauvre esclave d'hier, mais si on lui dit que, s'il
s'enivre ou bat sa femme, plus tard, il sera puni, cela le
retiendra tou jours un peu. La religion met un frein aux
passions des classes non eclairees, par la elle est une utilite,
done Voltaire a raison : S'il n'y avait pas de Dieu, il f au-
drait 1'inventer.
Pardon, si je vous ai choque, nous sommes convenus
d'une entiere liber te; du reste, je ne crois pas que vous
soyiez un theologien ; il me semble, qu'un ministre protes-
tant, malgre l'innocence de notre correspondance, n'en eu
jamais eu 1'idee et maintenant a bientot, une autre lettre
suivra prochainement.
VIENNE.
Votre lettre m'est parvenue ce matin ; elle m'a faite une
impression excellente, mais tout a fait differente de celle a
155
laquelle je m'attendais et presentement (pourquoi ne pas
1'avouer) malgre vos questions multiples, je ne sais absolu-
ment pas quoi vous ecrire. J'ignore si en pareille circon-
stance chacun ferait de meme, mais moi, en risquant ma
lettre dans 1'inconnu, la bas, je me suis dresse, sans raison
aucune, tout un tableau relativement a vous. J'etais
persuadee que vous alliez me dernander si je prefere Schiller
a Goethe, la musique de Strauss a celle de Wagner ; ou
bien encore, si Zola me parait tres " shocking" et Ibsen tres
original. En place de cela vous me dites : I shall be glad
to hear something about yourself, and I am more interested
in persons than in things. Bref je comptais parler choses
et vous desirez parler personnes. Notez que je ne trouve
absolument rien a la chose, il y a eu chez moi surprise,
mais non disillusion ; laissez-moi demolir le petit echaffau-
dage que j'avais construit dans mon imagination et dans la
suite tout ira bien. Je vous en previens mes premieres
lettres ne seront nullement interessantes et je ne puis pas
vous promettre qu'elles le deviendront dans la suite il n'y
a rien d'extraordinarie dans ma vie, mais elle.s seront mains
fades, petit a petit je m'apprivoiserai.
Hier, en tirant une feuille imprimee de votre enveloppe,
je me suis dit : "Ah bah, un prospectus, j'ai du mal com-
prende 1'annonce . . . nous autres habitants de 1'Europe
sommes nous assez province ? " . . . (1'eternal reproche du
Parisien au reste de la France et, je suppose, de I'Americain
au reste du monde) un peu plus je la jettais dans la corbeille
a papiers sans y faire autrement attention. Cela produit
vraiment un singulier effet de recevoir une lettre imprimee,
cela ne me gene nullement, mais il me serait impossible de
me servir moi du meme mode de correspondance, la vue de
mes pensees, exposees ainsi en caractere de livre, couperait
chez moi tout intimite, tout laisser-aller Pourquoi? je
n'en sais rien, probablement affaire d'habitude, comnie tout
le reste dans la vie.
Je suis de votre avis, vous avez une vilaine ecriture et
c'est pour moi d'un bon augure ; parmi mes connaissances,
les 2 seules femmes que je juge reellement interessantes^
non parce qu'elles sont mes amies, mais objectivement
156
paiiant, ont une ecriture terrible. L'une d'elle qui, cette
semaine par mariage devient votre compatriote, m'ecrivit il
y a quelque teinps d'une faqon si inintelligible que je fus
oblige de decouper 1'adresse en tete de sa lettre et de la
coller sur mon enveloppe, esperant que les employes de
poste auraient plus de talent que moi. Dieu veuille que,
devenue Americaine, elle adopte votre systeme.
De naissance je suis Fran^aise, mon education (du genre
qu'on al'habitude d'appeler soignee, avec tout le cortege : mu-
sique, dessin, langues etrangeres, etc.,etc.) . . . eut lieu a Paris,
ensuite on m'expedia d'abord a Londres, puis en Allemagne,
pour finir 1'etude de ces langues commences dans ma petite
enfance. Je n'ai absolument aucun talent, ce qu'on est
parvenu a m'inoculer en fait d'arts d'agrement me permet
seulement de jouir du talent des autres. Mon delassement
favori, je dirai presque ma societe favorite, ce sont les livres.
Depuis Schopenhauer jusqu'a Gyp, je lis tout, mais sans
ordre, sans plan. Lorsque je me sens disposee pour une
lecture 1'humeur du moment, la disposition dans laquelle je
me trouve, dirige seule le choix du livre. Je serais incapa-
ble de vous dire mon auteur de predilection. En fait de
roman, sans etre chauviniste, le fran^ais est celui que je
prefere ; le russe nous copie beaucoup, aussi je le lis avec
plaisir ; un roman allemand m'a rarement interessee. Dans
le genre serieux ils sont profonds, tres prof onds meme, nos
voisins d'outre-Khin, mais a force de profondeur ils de-
viennent obscurs du moins pour le pau vre moi. Quant a vous
autres anglais, vous avez 1'admirable Dickens, mais je crois
que votre litterature actuelle n'a pas de repre"sentants bien
marquants.
D'apres nos idees europeennes j'ai beaucoup voyage; je
connais en effet une bonne partie du vieux continent, les
bords de la Tamise tout aussi bien que ceux de la Neva me
sont familiers. Mes gouts sont portes vers ce qui frappe
surtout 1'imagination en fait de voyage, c'est pourquoi je
prefere Petersbourg a Berlin, Moscow a Petersbourg. Si
Ton me donnait a choisir de visiter 1'Inde ou 1'Amerique
je prefererais la premiere, bref 1' Orient m' attire et m'attire
enormement, cependant je ne crois pas que je puisse me
decider a y fixer mon sejour perpetual.
157
Et vous, quel pays connaissez-vous ? Etes-vous deja
venu a Vienne? Je parie que vous avez ete en Italic 1 ?
Pour moi, c'est une grande lacune que je vais combler cet
ete, si rien ne vient deranger mes plans.
Et apres ce long griffonage, voulez-vous que je vous dise
1'effet que je me fais? D'etre la parfaite caricature de
Loti. Pardon, mais savez-vous ce que c'est que Loti?
(car enfin un Americain, sans cesser pour cela d'etre gentle-
man d'excellente education, peut bien se permettre d'ignorer
1'existence de 1 ce bonhomme). C'est notre plus jeune
academicien, il a pour bagage litteraire quelques petits
romans et recits de voyage dont il est tou jours le heros ;
son style est vraiment delicieux, il berce (et ce n'est pas la
le point de ressemblance entre nous deux) mais leje, le moi
repandus dans ses ecrits avec une prodigalite vertigineuse
le rendent parfaitement assommant (personne n'est force de
partager mon jugement par trop anti-academique). C'est
son exemple que je viens de suivre, aussi j'espere bien que
dans votre prochaine vous ferez de meme et me parlerez
longuement de vous, ne fusse que pour m'empecher d'etre
ridicule.
CASE 78.
ENGLAND.
MONSIEUR : Ayant vu votre avertissement dans le
ce serait avec plaisir que j'entreprendrai une correspon-
dance fra^aise avec vous ou, si vous aimeriez mieux des
lettres allemandes, je suis egalement a votre disposition.
Yous aurez peut-etre la complaisance de me dire 1'espece de
lettre voulue ou tout simple pour commencer ou dans le
style ordinaire d'une correspond ance amusante et instructive.
In case the above is not completely understood, I will
say in English that I am by birth an Englishwoman, but.
having been educated abroad, am well able to undertake
either a French or German correspondence. I frankly tell
you, however, that it is the first time I have undertaken an
engagement such as you suggest ; but, having wished much
of late for some employment at home in which these Ian-
158
guages might prove useful, should you like to try my
powers, I shall be very happy to do my best to meet your
wishes, once I thoroughly understand what these are.
I need only add that I am a lady by birth, and I trust, a
fairly cultured one. You may rest assured I would try to
render our correspondence as interesting as possible. Its
interest, of course, would largely depend on the amount of
French or German you know. If you will answer me in
the language you prefer to correspond in I shall be able to
judge of your proficiency and arrange a course of letters
accordingly. French I think myself the prettiest and most
world-known language, but some prefer German.
ENGLAND.
MONSIEUR: Votre lettre m'est arrivee hier matin et le
genre de correspondance que vous semblez desirer ne serait
guere difficile, j'espere, ni pour 1'un ni 1'autre. Je vous
remercie aussi de ce que vous dites qu'on pent vous parler
de tout sans crainte de reconstruction. Vous voulez que
je vous parle premierement de moi-meme. II f aut m'excuser
si je n'entre pas dans des details qui ne peuvent nullement
vous interesser. Suffit de dire que le soleil n'a pas beaucoup
luit sur ma vie jusqu'ici et qu'a ce moment un gros nuage
noircit mon ciel. Mais je ne suis pas jeune fille pour perdre
courage, et je ne suis pas assez agee pour ne pas croire dans
le Futur et ce Futur, qu'une main malheureuse a fait son
mieux de gacher, sera recree avec 1'aide de Dieu par moi-
meme, si une nature naturellement gaie et courageuse peut
y arriver. Voulez-vous savoir quelle petite barque frele je
compte envoy er sur les eaux de la Fortune un de ces jours ?
Eh bien ! J'ecris un roman. J'ai eu un pen de succes avec
des historiettes et maintenant, plus ambitieuse, j'essaie mon
premier roman de deux volumes. Ne souriez pas ! Je sais
bien que pour un ecrivain qui prend le gout publique il y a
mille qui le manquent ; mais 1'Imagination dont je suis doue"e
me dit "Ecrivez!" et j'ecris. II faut avouer que j'ai de
1'audace quand je ne sais pas comment faire publier mon
livre une fois que c'est 4crit ; mais " de 1'audace et tou-
159
jours de 1'audace." Ce ne sont pas les pleureuses qui
montent 1'echelle de la Fortune.
Maintenant vous allez me dire a votre tour comment vous
passez votre temps en Amerique. L' Amerique ! Pour moi
<j'est to a jours an pays enchante le pays d'esprits e'veilles,
si entreprenants, si hardis et ou les femmes sont si haute-
ment estimees. Dites moi tout ce que vous pouvez de
1'Amerique et si vous etes situe dans une de ces places dont
j'ai souvent entendu parler ou il y a peu d'avantages so-
ciales ou les hommes sont seuls au milieu des terrains qu'ils
cultivent comme des "hiboux dans le desert." Pauvres
hiboux! Cela doit etre un peu triste pour eux et je ne
m'etonne pas que des lettres soient un petit rayon de lumiere
dans ces nids caches.
Vous avez beaucoup voyage, dites vous. Moi aiissi, je
n'ai pas mal vu de pays. Mon education s'est fait a
^Bruxelles puis j'ai visile Madras, Rome, Florence, Naples,
une grande partie de la France et je ne suis jamais trop
fachee de me retrouver dans cette petite ile d'Angleterre
avec ses brouillards et sa verte campagne.
Lisez-vous beaucoup ? Aimez-vous la musique ? Quels
sont vos gouts ? Pour moi, j'aime beaucoup la lecture et je
devore tout ce qui est digne d'etre lu. J'aime aussi beaucoup
la musique, principalement le chant sans etre une artiste
de premier ordre. Mais ma vie jusqu'ici a ete si remplie,
mon entourage demandant tant de mon temps et de mes
soins que mes gouts naturels ont ete forces a prendre seconde
place. Tout de meme je tache de r ester au niveau des grandes
questions et des mouvements du jour, et si vous aimeriez me
parler de ceux-ci c'est avec grand inter et que je poursuivrais
notre correspondance. En ecrivant comme je le fais cela ne
pourra me faire que du bien d'echanger les idees avec un
qui a voyage, qui a beaucoup lu, peut-etre, et qui a rencontre
beaucoup de caracteres varies. A cote des femmes ameri-
caines vous me trouverez ignorante sans doute. On dit
qu'elles etudient si profondement. Pour moi, a seize ans
j'ai du quitter 1'ecole pour entrer dans le monde. Tout ce
que j'ai appris depuis c'est a force de livres, de journaux,
160
par 1'observation et 1'intelligence naturelle, ces dons tout le
monde peut posseder.
Vous dites que vous vous interessez plutot dans les person-
nes que dans les choses et vous voulez que je vous parle de in on
entourage. J'ai des parents nombreux, frangais et anglais
quelques-uns forts riches qui se sont maries tres hautement,
mais depuis que nous avons perdu beaucoup d'argent ceux-ci
nous oublient gracieusement. Telle est la vie. Mais cela
m'amuse. J'ai des yeux vifs a decouvrir toutes les peti-
tesses de 1'humanite et plus vifs, encore, j'espere, a, voir
aussi toute la noblesse dont cette humanite est capable.
Dieu soit loue qu'il y a des moments ou le marque de Son
Doigt est bien visible dans les natures qu'il a crees. Si
non ou serions-nous ? Oui ! vous avez raison de trouver
les personnes plus interessantes que toute autre chose. II
n'y a rien pour 1'interet comme d'etudier les caracteres et
de se mettre en rapport avec eux. Dites-moi tout ce que
vous voulez de votre cote et soyez sur que j'aurai du plaisir
a vous etre utile.
Nous somme mis sur la terre pour s'entre aider et pour
sympatiser 1'un avec 1'autre. Si vous etes, peut-etre, tres
seul dans un coin de cette grande Amerique et une corre-
spondance avec une Anglaise vous donnera un petit rayon
de plaisir croyez dans ma bonne volonte de vous donner
ce meme plaisir de grand cceur. Ainsi je vous ecrirai, si
cela vous plaise, une fois par mois. Mais si par hasard il y
a des autres qui ont repondu a votre avertissement et dont
les lettres vous plairont tout aussi bien que les miennes, je
vous prie de me le dire f ranch ement et je me retirerais de la
correspondance.
Votre lettre en type m'a fort amusee. C'est la premiere
de la sorte que j'aie jamais reque. Je crains que la
mienne ne sera pas si facile a lire. Dites-moi si vous avez
bien compris tout ce que j'ai dit. Vous ne pouvez pas
vous plaindre, je crois, de la longueur de ma lettre ! Cela
durera bien un mois ! Croyez, Monsieur, dans 1'expression
de mes bons sentiments.
Address " Sub Rosa " . I may be leaving here
shortly. But if directed thus, all letters will be forwarded.
161
CASE 79.
PARIS.
MONSIEUR : L'originalite de votre annonce dans le
parisien m'a vivement frappee. Bien que je n'aie ni 1'ampleur
de style de notre grand " Epistolier " Balzac, ni la verve
feconde ou la grace charmeresse de Madame de Sevigne de
piquante memoire ; 1'envie me prend de m'armer de ma
meillure plume de u Tolede " (not a goosequill) pour vous
ecrire. Me lirez-vous seulement ? et ce qui et d'une plus
grande consequence allez-vous me repondre Chi lo sa"?
Cependant votre education a 1'europeenne vous oblige en
quelque sorte d'accuser reception d'une epitre, ecrite sur les
bords de la Seine. Soyez sur quelle qu'elle soit cette reponse,
tous mes remerciments vous sont acquis d'avance ; mais de
grace ne tardez pas, ne tenez pas trop longtemps ma curi-
osite en suspens, car il me tarde a savoir si vous allez
m'ecrire dans la langue d' Emerson, de Ticknor, de Prescott
ou du burlesque Mark Twain? Peu m'importe, je saurai
vous lire. Si, au contraire, votre pensee devait se traduire
en un fatras frangais peu academique, ne craignez rien, je
saurais egalement vous entendre. La forme n'est rien, le
fond c'est tout.
Veuillez done etre persuade, Monsieur mon Correspond-
ant, que mon intelligence et ma bonne volonte sont entiere-
ment a votre disposition. Allez, montez a 1'assaut si vous
attaquez, Ton saura se defendre ; si vous employez des pro-
jectiles de gros calibre, attendez vous a un feu de file des
plus nourris. En un mot, quoique vous fassiez vous me
trouverez tou jours sur la breche.
CASE 80.
CANADA.
MONSIEUR : Je puis correspondre avec vous en frangais,
si vous desirez ; je reunis toutes les conditions requises.
Yoici mon adresse :
CANADA.
MONSIEUR : Je ne sais trop comment je vais etre accueillie,
apres un si long delai a vous repondre ; la raison est que
162
j'ai fait un voyage, j'ai visite des amies dans des campagnes.
je suis allee a 1' opera frangais ; le titre etait Gillette
de Narbonne, tres joli et bien joue ; en somme, je me suis
tres bien amusee et pardessus tout je me suis fait un nou-
veau cavalier (ce qui ne gate rien) au moins n'allez pas rire;
ne croyez pas que je me vante.
Vous voulez des renseignements sur ma famille ; je vous
en donne volontiers a condition du change.
Je suis la sixieme, d'une famille de douze enfants; j'ai dix
huit ans ; j'ai cinq pieds et deux pouces ; je suis brune,
deux yeux noirs comme on en voit pen, de longs et abon-
dants cheveux bruns ; je ne me crois pas une beaute, aussi
je ne m'etendrai pas sur mon apparence ; j'ai fait mon cours
complet et j'ai eu medailles et brevets academiques ; je
parle un peu 1'anglais et m'occupe beaucoup de chant et de
musique, un peu de jolis gallons ; je fais aussi de la bonne
soupe et d'excellents petits gateaux ; j'ai une grande sceur
un peu plus agee que moi qui est blonde, les yeux bleus ;.
elle est un peu plus sage que moi ; elle me fait sans cesse
obeir; je crois que c'est plus chanceux d'etre 1'ainee,
et trois grands freres, dont deux maries.
Je suppose que ces details vont vous ennuyer, mais
c'est de votre faute ; il ne fallait pas me demander de
vous parler de ina famille, car quand il faut vous entretenir
d'une famille de douze enfants, les details sont longs ; en
revanche, parlez-moi beaucoup de vous. Donnez-moi des
details sur votre physique et vos occupations, car je pense
que vous devez avoir quelque chose de plus serieux a faire
que de correspondre avec des fillettes et je serais curieuse
de savoir combien ont repondu a votre invitation de cor-
respondance ; je m'y imagine parfois que vous n'etes pas seul
a lire ces lettres, et que vous devez etre en societe, et je
crois aussi que les moments que vous passez a lire toutes
ces correspondances ne doivent pas etre les moments les
moins plaisants ; dites-moi done si je me trompe?
163
LETTERS IN GERMAN.
CASE 81.
SWITZERLAND.
SEHK GEEHBTER HEKR AMERIKANER : Sie haben die Absicht,
sich auf dem etwas ungewohnlichen Wege der " Korrespon-
denz mit einer Studentin " im Deutschen zu vervollkommnen.
Und ich wiirde gerne eine interessante iiberseeische Korre-
spondenz fiihren. Also begegnen sich unsere Interessen
mitten auf dem atlantischen Ocean und es konnte uns bei-
den geholfen werden.
Es fragt sich bios : was verlangen Sie von Hirer Korres-
pondentin ? Und allzu gerne mochte ich noch wissen :
warum muss es gerade eine Studentin sein ? Ich hatte
gedacht, einem praktischen Amerikaner ware eine Dame die
studirt, schon von vorne herein zuwider, so dass er nicht
einmal mit Hiilfe einer solchen Deutsch lernen mochte.
Mir sind im Allgemeinen die Amerikaner nicht sehr
sympatisch, aber ich zweifle kaum daran, dass meine Anti-
pathie auf einem Vorurteil beruht, und dass ich bei besserer
Kenntnis den amerikanischen Charakter auch besser schat-
zen lerne.
Wenn Sie geneigt sind, mit mir zu dem von Ihnen ge-
wiinschten Zwecke in Korrespondenz zu treten, so mochte
ich Sie freundlich bitten, mir Ihre Wiinsche in Bezug auf
diese Korrespondenz mitzutheilen. Meinen Namen kann
ich Ihnen nicht nennen, bevor Sie sich mir auch vorge-
stellt haben. Ich studiere Medizin. Wollen Sie so freund-
lich sein, eine allfallsige Antwort zu addressiren an meine
Freundin :
Mit achtungsvollem Gruss iiber's Meer.
CASE 82.
GERMANY.
GEEHRTER HERR : Bisher war ich meiner Sache noch nicht
sicher, aber jetzt glaube ich ganz bestimmt an ein Fatum.
Sie werden als Auslander nicht recht wissen, was das
heisst, und da wir kiinftig in christlicher Weise unsern
164
mangelnden Sprachkenntnissen gegenseitig aufhelfen wol-
len, will ich mich gleich bemiihen, es Ihnen klar zu machen.
Ein Fatum 1st also etwas Unabanderliches, etwas dem man
nicht entfliehen kann, und nun wollen Sie welter wissen,
warum ich plotzlich daran glaube ? Ja, wie ich Ihre
gelungene Anfrage in der Zeitung sah, dachte ich, sieh, der
Mann ist gar nicht dumm, dem soil sein Wunsch erfiillt
werden ; da bekam ich ganz gegen alle Verabredung bald
nachher die Influenza und dachte nicht mehr an Sie und
Ihre Fortbildungsprojekte. Und nun, nachdem schon
mehrere Wochen in's Land gegangen, fallt mir plotzlich
wieder Ihr Inserat in die Hande, da dachte ich, es ist so
bestimmt und, me voild. Dies als Einleitung, die, wie ich
hoffe, Ihre education europeenne Sie verstehen liess. Sie
waren also schon in Europa, freilich, welcher Amerikaner
hatte sich nicht schon unsern guten alten Erdteil ange-
schaut ! Ihre Correspondenzidee finde ich wirklich
praktisch, es giebt in Oestreich einen Verein, die Interna-
tionale Correspondenz-Association, die ziemlich dasselbe
Ziel verfolgt ; ihr Gedanke ist also schon da gewesen, aber
nichtsdestoweniger nett, und wenn Sie mich als Corre-
spondentin haben wollen, so dass Sie mir englisch
wiederschreiben, stehe ich ganz zu Ihrer Verfugung, und
vielleicht konnen wir uns dabei ganz gut unterhalten. Sie
mochten nun vielleicht noch etwas Personliches iiber Ihre
deutsche Briefschreiberin horen, denn die Manner sind
nun einmal neugierig, obwohl sie diesen schlimmen Fehler
stets auf die Frauen walzen wollen. So horen Sie : ich
bin noch Jung, denn meine Schwester will mich noch immer
bevormunden, obwohl ich alles mindesten so gut verstehe
wie sie; noch unverheiratet, denn sonst wiirde mein Mann
wahrscheinlich solch einen Brief unpassend finden, und
schliesslich suche ich etwas Abwechslung, denn im Winter
ist es in diesem guten Stadtchen verzweif elt langweilig. So,
das genugt wohl fur's erste ? Ich erwarte nun einen, aber
bitte, deutlich geschriebenen Brief, ich habe auch schon
geschrieben, nicht ? Lassen Sie ihn unter meinem Nainen
an die oben bezeichnete Adresse gehen. Mit freundlichem
Gruss.
165
CASE 83.
EUSSIA.
"Aller Anf ang 1st schwer I " So geht es auch mir. Es
kommt mir komisch vor einem wildfremden Menschen
schreiben zu miissen. Ich muss die Phrasen an den
Haaren herbeiziehen. Alle Gedankeu sind aus meinem
armen Kopf geschwunden und doch schreibe ich, aller Sitte
und dem Herkommen zuwider ; nun ich schreibe, weil es
mir so gefallt, aus lauter Neugierde. Sie werden es wol
schon wissen, die Neugierde ist der Grundzug des weiblichen
Charakters. Was thut man nicht alles aus Neugierde 1
Warum haben Sie solch eine Annonce in die Zeitung
geriickt? Ist das nur der Praktik wegen? Ich glaube
nicht. Sie wollten gewiss wissen wieviel Frauen Ihnen
schreiben werden und was sie Ihnen im Stande sind mitzu-
teilen. Ich mochte gerne wissen, wieviel Briefe Sie bekom-
men haben. Amerika interessirt mich sehr; ich.werde es
nie sehen, also mochte ich umsomehr daruber horen.
Schreiben Sie mir recht viel, schildern Sie es mir lebbaft,
nehmen Sie alle Ihre Beredsamkeit zusammen, spannen Sie
alle Ihre Geisteskrafte an. Es wird fiir Sie sehr niitzlich
sein. Sie werden viel dabei profitieren, und ich werde das
Vergniigen haben. Vielleicht sind Sie aber ein eingeneisch-
ter Yankee, ein trockener Zahlenmensch, der sich fiir nichts
anderes interessiert und den ganzen Tag in der dumpfen
Comptoirstube sitzt, der kein Verstandnis fiir das Gute und
Schone hat, fiir den die Natur todt ist ; der nicht einen
Sperling von einem Strauss unterscheiden kann. Ja, was
werde ich dann mit Ihnen machen ! Unsere Correspondenz
wird einschlafen. Ich verstehe mich garment auf Borsen-
geschafte, bin iiberhaupt sehr unpraktisch. Das ware
schade, ich habe mich so gefreut, etwas von der neuen Welt
zu horen. Es geht damit, wie mit den Augen der Men-
schen, je mehr man hineinsieht, desto mehr mochte man
hinein sehen. Es giebt solche Augen, von denen man sich
garnicht los machen kann. Haben Sie nicht diese Bemerk-
ung gemacht ? Aber ich sehe Sie im Stillen iiber meinen
Brief lachen und sagen : Was fiir ein verriicktes, lacherliches
Schreiben, wozu diese Phrasen, diese Schilderungen i
166
Wovon das Herz voll 1st, davon gehet der Mund iiber und
damit basta. Ich schreibe nicht eine Silbe mehr, bis ich
nicht weiss, zu was fiir einer Menschengattung Sie gehoren.
Ida gebe Ihnen die Adresse meiner Bekannten, denn meine
eigene werden Sie nie erfahren. Ich. furchte mich und
schame mich die Briefe poste restante abzuholen. Auf
Wiedersehen. Bitte unterschreiben Sie die Briefe " Marie."
CASE 84.
NOBWAY.
A L'AMERICAIN :
Ah, so, mein Herr, Sie wiinschen mit einer gebildeten
Dame zu correspondieren ; ich bin aber keine Studentin,
das muss ich mit einem Male gestehen. Ich habe die
deutsche Sprache gewahlt, denn diese kenne ich am besten,
und Sie, Sie kennen wohl die englische superb, nicht wahr ?
Ich mochte mich auch gern in den Sprachen iiben, denn
man vergisst ja so leicht, was man gelernt hat, wenn man
sich nicht ubt. Vous etes un americain, voila tout ; je
suis une dame norvegienne ja, eine Norwegerinn bin ich.
Sie wissen vielleicht nicht einmal, wo dies kleine Land sich
befindet in der Welt. Hier ist's kalt, o, so kalt im Winter,
aber im Sommer grossartig, mein Herr, grossartig. Die
hohen Gebirge und das blaue Meer, alles ist so wunder-
schon. Jeden Sommer besuchen viele Tausend Turisten
unser Land, und sie sagen alle : " Es giebt kein schoneres
auf der Erde.'' Ja, jetzt muss ich wohl einen Abschluss
machen mit meinem besten Gruss.
"LA PETITE INCONNUE."
CASE 85.
WlEN.
MONSIEUR : Ayant lu votre annonce dans les journeaux je
veux bien vous ecrire si en franqais, si en allemand, si vous
aviez la bonte, en cas que mes lettres vous conviennent, de
me repondre parfois en anglais, car c'est une langue dans
laquelle, je n'ai guere occasion de m'exercer. Pour le mo-
167
ment je suis en route ; c'est a dire je suis alle au sud, afin
de me sauver de 1'hiver et cependant il neige a comme il
le fait rarement chez nous. Und da ich noch weiter reise
und meine Adresse nicht bestimmen kann, so wiirde ich Sie
bitten, mein Herr, Ihre Briefe an nachstehende Adresse in
Wien abzusenden, wo selbe mir bestimmt nachgeschickt
werden. Sie waren vielleicht in Europa und wissen, dass
es bei uns " shocking " ist mit fremden Herren zu corre-
spondieren ; aber ich habe auf meinen Reisen genug Ameri-
kaner kennen gelernt und weiss so viel von deren Sitten
dass selbe darin gar nichts finden. Enfin ! in jedem Land
sind es schlieslich doch nur die Menschen, die Einen am
meisten interessieren, im gutenund schlechten Sinn gen om-
men, nicht wahr ? and wenn Sie mir Einiges von dem
amerikanischen Leben mittheilen wollten, so wiirde ich
Ihnen sehr dankbar sein. Ich bin Oesterreicherin, lebe
aber viel in Ungarn und auf Beisen und wenn es Sie in-
teressiert, so will ich Ihnen gerne Schilderungen von diesen
Landern geben, die Sie aber vielleicht schon selbst bereist
haben. Mein Englisch wird Ihnen iibrigens etwas " funny "
vorkommen, doch das thut nichts ; Sie werden sich dariiber
amiisieren und da hat es dann auch einen Zweck. C'est la
premiere fois que j'entre dans une correspondance d'apres
les journeaux ; mais puisque Monsieur ne veut que d' exer-
cise dans les langues ; cela me convient ; on fait connais-
sance sans se connaitre ; car on peut bien juger les hommes
d'apres leurs lettres. Supposant que le jugement de
Monsieur ne soit trop severe, j'ai 1'honneur de me signer
CASE 86.
WIEN.
GEEHKTEK HERR : Nur der Sonntag gastattet mir meinem
Yergniigen und geistiger Anregung zu leben, darum beant-
worte ich auch erst heute Ihr Inserat. Ich fiihle mich inso-
fern berechtigt dies iiberhaupt zu thun, da ich sehr heitern
Temparamentes bin, das mich verhindert trotz stricter Er-
fiillung meiner Berufspflichten, nicht zur verknocherten
Padagogin zu werden und ich meine Jugend geniessen will ;
168
aber auch well ich von der Voraussetzung ausgehe dass man
selbst im schriftlichen Verkehre mit heitern Menschen viel
eher den in Ihrem Inserate erwahnten Zweck erreicht als
mit jedem andern, da doch jeder den Wunsch hat sich sorg-
los zu unterhalten und in dieser Achtlosigkeit leicht iiber
die Schwierigkeiten einer fremden Sprache ungeahnt hin-
wegkommt und sie so beherrschen lernt. Momentan halt
die Stadt ein furchtbarer Mord in Athem, der an einem
Wiener Advocaten began gen ward, noch dazu um die Mit-
tagsstunde im Herzen der Stadt. Wer ist der Morder fragt
die Polizei ? Cherchez la femme ! gibt die Welt zur Ant-
wort. Die allernachste Zeit wird sicherlich Licht in die
Angelegenheit bringen, also auch, ob wir denn nunmehr wirk-
lich ausschliesslich jene naturalistische Bedeutung haben,.
die uns der Franzose beilegt und die nur so weit reicht, um
Leben gebend und Leben Nehmend zu sein ?
CASE 87.
SCHLESWIG-HOLSTEIN.
GEEHKTER HERB : Ein distinguirter (junger ?) Amerikaner
wiinscht Korrespondenz ? Eh bien, eine " distinguirte "
junge Deutsche ware nicht abgeneigt mit diesem Herrn
zu korrespondieren. Ich denke mir, dass Sie sehr viele
Antworten auf Ihre Annonce bekommen werden ; denn es
hat doch gewiss grossen Reiz, mit einem Herrn, den man
garnicht kennt, zu korrespondieren. Manche vorurteils-
freie Dame wird dazu geneigt sein, wenn auch viele mit
frommer Entriistung solches Ansinnen von sich weisen
werden. Nun, die letzteren wiirden auch gewiss sehr lang-
weilige Briefe schreiben.
Sie wiinschen Korrespondenz im Deutschen, Franzosi-
schen und Englischen ? Soil denn eine Evastochter das
alles konnen, oder wollen Sie mit mehreren Korrespon-
dieren ? Ich liebe das Englische sehr, konnte auch die
Korrespondenz franzosich fiihren, aber natiirlich am besten
deutsch. Ich verspreche mir wirklich viel AnregUDg von
solchem Briefwechsel und wiirde mich freuen, wenn der-
selbe wirklich zustande kame.
169
Ich bin kein Backfisch mehr, und vielleicht werden Sie
in einer Korrespondenz mit mir finden, was Sie wiinschen.
Ich bin ein Madchen von 24 Jahren, begeistert fur alles
Schone und Wissenswerte auf unserer schonen, reichen
Erde und mochte mit einem Manne, der ebenfalls derartige
Interessen hat, mich brief lich unterhalteo. Nun, wollen
Sie ? dann senden Sie Ihre Antwort an
CASE 88.
BUDAPEST.
SEHB GEEHRTER HERR : Sie suchen Brief wechsel um sich
in der Sprache zu iiben, vielleicht geniigt mein Geplauder r
nur diirfen Sie nicht zu hohe Anspriiche stellen, vielleicht
geistreiche wissenschaftliche Gesprache veiiangen, denn,
davon will ich offen gestehen habe ich keine blasse Ahnung !
Ich bin kein Blaustrumpf, nur ein simples Naturkind, dass
der Reiz mit Jemandem aus dem fernen Amerika Briefe zu
wechseln, dazu veranlasst, Ihnen su schreiben. Amerika
hat grosses Interesse fur mich, ich schwarme fur das Land,
obwohl es mir nur aus Beschreibung bekannt ist. Eine
Vorstellung meiner Person unterlasse ich, da es doch nicht
von Interesse ist, indem ja nur die Sprache geiibt werden
soil und von meiner Seite Neugierde iiber Amerika zu
horen Befriedigung findet. Ubrigens bin ich kein Back-
fisch, nein, schon langst daritber hinaus, aber doch noch
immer keine alte Schachtel. Wie Sie aus meiner Adr. er-
sehen lebe ich in der schonen Stadt Budapest, von deren
Schonheit und Vergniigungen ich leider nur' sehr wenig
geniesse indem ich sehr ziiruckgezogen lebe. Es wird
mich freuen wenn mein Schreiben eiaer Antwort gewiirdigt
wird. Empfangeii Sie die Griisse.
EINER UNBEKANNTEN.
CHAPTEK III.
LOVE.
It may seem strange that young women would seriously
introduce love matters into a correspondence arising from
the personal column of newspapers. But the various mani-
festations of love are so frequent and extreme that to say
what should be regarded as peculiar or abnormal is diffi-
cult.
As a few of the correspondents have written what must
be regarded as love-letters, it may not be out of place to
present a few brief considerations on love itself.
We may call love a certain mental and physical state in
which we are lost; thought, feeling, duty, the past, present,
and future everything in us unites with the single idea of
another being. Mantegazza says that women should teach
men that love is neither luxury nor voluptuousness, but the
highest and most serene joy ; and that women should make
it the highest recompense of virtue, the most glorious con-
quest of genius and the strongest impulse to progress.
But love is not regard, respect, or admiration for another,
because some of the worst characters can be loved. Simple,
pure, unadulterated love is not passion, but it can have pas-
sion as one of its elements ; it includes the whole person-
ality ; it is without reserve the lover gives himself over
entirely to the one he loves. ,
In the young man, mental and physical energies cause
love to manifest itself more directly and more forcibly ; he
falls on his knees, speaks with passion. He has no cruel
calculations ; the future is all bright ; he simply loves ; he
171
thinks of nothing else ; he is chaste, he is almost ignorant
of voluptuousness.
In adult life, love manifests itself in a smooth and gentle
way. Man is not so impatient ; he is more delicate and rich
in his tastes ; he is not so savage as the young man ; he
loves the independent woman, the widow, and the motherly
woman ; he is fundamentally eclectic. He is more consid-
erate. It is true that he is more voluptuous, but this pre-
vents the explosions of juvenile love. The mature man is
more trustworthy ; he makes the best husband. The young
man is an uncertainty ; no one knows what he can do or
will do ; he does not know himself.
Perhaps the most normal and natural love affair is where
the two persons have known each other from childhood,
going to school together, etc., where the families are well
.acquainted. If love exists a long time between two per-
sons under such conditions, this is, perhaps, the best test
for its endurance throughout life. But, unfortunately,
courtship and love under such favorable conditions are too
infrequent. The familiar platitude that the course of true
love never runs smooth is simply an illustration of the ab-
normal conditions under which it often develops. Thus,
owing to social artificiality, there seems to be little arrange-
ment by which the proper people can meet and become
well acquainted in a natural way.
When things seem to happen rather than to have been
planned, woman is pleased. If a lady hears a gentleman
desires to become acquainted with her, she considers some ;
the acquaintance may be delayed or fail ; but if she had
happened to meet him, or he her, that would have been dif-
ferent. The success of an acquaintance often depends on
incidental conditions, the two persons live near by, or in the
172
same city, street, boarding-house, or hotel. That is to say,
many men and women fail to meet congenial and worthy
companions, simply because there is no arrangement by
which they can meet, except the incidental and accidental
relations of society.
Young women should be on the same footing, as regards
love and marriage, as young men. That is, the woman
should have the right to be as aggressive as the man. It
is evident that social conservatism would oppose such an
innovation. Whether for the better or the worse, woman
is taking man's position in almost everything. She is re-
ceiving as good an education, and it is probable that in the
future there will be more women in college than men ; and
why not ? As woman adorns herself physically, why not
continue this principle mentally ? This means the develop-
ment, on the part of woman, in everything ; she will be more
aggressive. Why this aggressiveness should be checked in
so important a matter to woman as love and marriage, is
difficult to see. She can send a letter to a gentleman, in-
vite him to call, can ask him to do an errand for her, or
other favor; but to ask him to be a life companion, that is
terrible. If allowed freedom in small things that concern
her little, why not freedom in weighty matters that concern
her even more than man ? Why should a woman be thought
less of because she is honest to a friend ? Why conceal ?
It is a relic of the ancient veiling of woman.
It is not intended to take up the artificial difficulties of
courtship love and marriage but rather to consider the
abnormal side of love itself.
Love may be said to be the most natural and normal
passion ; and were it not for the artificiality of modern civili-
zation, it might be so. But, as a matter of experience, it is
173
one of the most prolific causes of mental, physical, and emo-
tional aberration. It, in fact, so often lacks what is prop-
erly called common sense, that it is hardly a misnomer to
call it the insanity of love. True love, of which the poets
sing and which is eulogized by all, has, nevertheless, many
illusions. Two persons can sincerely love each other for a
time, and yet not be adapted at all to be life companions.
If there are nervous diseases in any members of the two
families, they should not marry ; but love pays no attention
to this. When on medical grounds two lovers are advised
not to marry, they seem to feel that they are challenged,
and sometimes marry to show, as it were, their martyr
spirit. This may be romance, but it is not discretion.
Lovers are generally convinced that they are the only ones
who possibly could cherish each other so. This is an illu-
sion ; it simply means that neither of them had chanced
to meet such a person. The widow often loves her second
husband as much as the first. The number of people one
has opportunity to become intimately acquainted with is
comparatively small. If we take a thousand cases of divorce
and another thousand of happily married people, and in-
quire as to the affection manifested at the time of court-
ship and honeymoon, it is doubtful if a great difference be-
tween the two classes could be found. It might be true
that those now divorced manifested as much or more affec-
tion then, from the fact that their characters may have been
more emotional than stable. Sincerity of purpose is no
sure sign of continuance in that purpose. True love needs
to be combined with solidity of character to be perma-
ment.
Every young woman probably has an ideal which she con-
siders most perfect, and which she clothes, according to
her temperament, with all those qualities that can satisfy
her desire. This image is latent, but may be brought into
consciousness by the presence of a person whom she sup-
poses to correspond to her ideal. Often she makes the
assertion that she could never love any one who did not
reach this ideal. With this ideal image in mind, in the
presence of the person who corresponds to it, arises the
feeling of love. It is seldom she realizes her ideal ; she even
likes to make a partial illusion of it, when she becomes con-
scious that it is not true, for desire makes one disposed to
overlook defects. She may feel that she has a semi-conscious
illusion, yet she likes to think or dream that nevertheless
it is true. The experience of life has shown it to be a partial
illusion, and too often a total one. Here, in the very essence
of love, exists an element of illusion.
Thus the constant fancy of her mind, which concentrates
the attention upon one individual, is a special and peculiar
state of consciousness in which an image preoccupies the
mind for its own profit, directs all her speculations and
fancies, and, if those are not realized, it creates a special
state of anguish. Now, all this is a process similar to that
which gives rise to a fixed idea in a person with an obses-
sion.
Fetichism as well as illusions is found in the manifesta-
tions of love. A fetich is the adoration of a material ob-
ject to which is given a mysterious power. This often
explains strange marriages ; an intellectual and distin-
guished man takes a wife who has neither youth, beauty,
nor ability ; but there may be the adoration of the eye, the
hand, or even the buckle on the hair ; it is a fetich ; it may
be because she is blond or brunette. The philosopher
Descartes had a great fancy for squinting eyes because
175
the first woman he loved had this defect. Mantegazza
mentions a friend who contemplated with joy a thread of
silk as a relic of love. The material objects that serve for
amorous idolatry are many. Every lover may be pleased
with the beauty of eyes, hand, or hair of his fiancee, but
when those parts of the body are admired for their own
sake, such feeling is a perversion ; as soon as any part of
the body becomes so predominant in the mind of the lover
as to efface the other parts, love becomes abnormal.
But love may not only be characterized by illusions and
fetichism, but by mental and emotional aberrations. Krafft-
Ebbing designates love as a " fixed idea ; " Moll, as an
" emotive delirium ; " Morselli, a rudimentary paranoia ;
Kegis, a " psychical neurasthenia ; " Falret, " psycho-emo-
tive obsession," and Charcot, as an " episodic symptom of
hereditary degeneracy."
However extreme such characterizations of love may be,
it will be seen that a close analogy exists between love and
conscious obsessions.
Those possessed with morbid ideas can feel that they are
victims of a delusion, which they also know to be absurd.
So it is not uncommon for lovers to insist that the idea is
imposed upon them ; reason cannot remove it ; they admit,
at the same time, that their love is without hope, or full of
dangers ; they cannot resist the passion ; they are willing
to sacrifice their fortunes, and even their lives. This is
called heroic love, true love, which the poets describe, and
philosophers praise ; yet it is this very love that resembles
morbid or abnormal ideas most.
Obsessions are often without premonitions ; they are sud-
den and strong. So authors speak of the " birth of love ; "
they picture it as a thunderbolt, " a spark." The confessions
176
of lovers often resemble mental obsessions. Ball calls those
obsessions of love " paroxysmal ; " they have periods of
remission, followed by new attacks. Their oscillations and
difference of intensity are similar to the manifestations of
love.
Obsessions are accompanied by physical symptoms ; the
crisis is marked by anguish, special epigastric oppression
and difficulty in breathing ; sometimes there is headache,
violent beatings of the heart, trembling, and these accom-
panied by a general uneasiness ; there is low nutrition
(young men in love, where the course is not smooth, lose in
weight). So, in the physical symptoms of love, there is the
painful state, the feeling of oppression ; it is not anguish
or desire ; it is a sort of tumultuous inner feeling.
The obsession in the mind of the patient acquires such
importance that it is forced to action, giving rise to im-
pulsive tendencies. Such phenomena in love are well known.
Pierre Janet says that many unfortunates are during their
whole life under the domination of a fixed idea, and feel
compelled to commit an act which makes them shudder
to think of. He who is conscious of this impulse can re-
sist it for more or less time and not succumb till after a
desperate struggle. Such are the violent desires which
push them to commit absurd or criminal acts.
It may be said, in this connection, that some of the most
curious and brutal crimes are the result of love through
passion and jealousy. It is true, also, that the theatre,
novel, and poetry in every age have represented scandal,
violence, and murder as coming from the passion of love.
The undeniable resemblances between love and certain
nervous diseases is not only evident, but there is a functional
trouble of mind which acts on one and the other. Ball says
177
one differs from the other only in degrees of consciousness
and lucidity.
We have given in brief the opinions of well-known au-
thorities on the resemblances of obsessions and mental
aberrations to love. It is not meant that those phenomena
are the same, but it does seem that love in its many ab-
normal phases manifests a striking similarity.
The normal side of love may be illustrated concretely in
the following colloquy of Mantegazza.
178
IN COURTSHIP
The Man Says :
I wish.
Immediately.
To-day.
In a month.
Yes, yes, yes.
I desire you, and therefore
I wish to have you.
She is virtuous because
she is chaste.
The woman is changeable.
The woman cannot pre-
serve her faith.
Oh, how much she loves
me !
In course of time she will
love me.
I think too much about
her.
Love is the greatest vo-
luptuousness.
I desire, and if you do not
grant it, it is because you do.
not love me.
Give me everything ; make
me happy, even if you don't
love me. Remain beautiful
and I will love you always.
We should separate ; rea-
son should kill our love.
The Woman Says :
Wait.
Later.
To-morrow.
In a year.
No, no, no.
I love you without desire.
He is virtuous because he
loves me.
The man is infamous.
The man does not know
how to love.
Oh, how much I love him.
I will love him so much
that he will end by loving
me.
I do not think enough
about him.
Love is life.
And if I love you, why do
you ask more ?
Give me your heart ; in-
sult me, but love me. Be
true to me, and I will love
you always.
You monster ! I hate you ;
vou make me shudder, but
V
I love you still.
179
SOME APHORISMS.
Modern civilization affords woman the cherished possi-
bility of living happy in celibacy (Mantegazza).
When a woman pronounces a man's name only twice a
day, there is some uncertainty as to the nature of her feel-
ings towards him ; but three times ? . . . Oh ! Oh ! (Bal-
zac).
It is easier to be a lover than a husband, because it is
more difficult to be bright every day than to say pretty
things from time to time (Balzac).
A husband who leaves nothing to be desired is lost (Bal-
zac).
The most chaste married woman can also be the most
voluptuous (Balzac).
Man as animal is polygamous, man as man is monoga-
mous (Mantegazza).
In their second edition, marriages belong to the history
of mummies and fossils (Mantegazza).
The widower is always an excellent husband ; this is why
women easily forgive him for being a dozen years older
(Mantegazza).
One cannot say too much concerning the widow. How-
ever good she may be, one always tastes a little the acrity
of soup warmed over (Mantegazza).
For some men love is a prurient matter ; intermittent,
occurring at about eighteen and ceasing at forty or fifty ;
sometimes charming, sometimes tedious, and which cannot
be cured except by one remedy woman. According to
these men, such a remedy is worse than the disease (Man-
tegazza).
To marry for hygienic reasons is like throwing oneself
into water to quench the thirst.
Haste in anything that concerns love is the assassination
of future happiness (Mantegazza).
CHAPTEE IV.
CONCLUSION.
A careful reading of all the letters will show that the
majority of the correspondents do not seem to have any-
thing special to do in life. Many are in abnormal conditions
rather than abnormal themselves. The motives for answer-
ing the " personal " are various. Some say it was merely
" curiosity," yet there is the suspicion that, behind all, there
was a lurking or semi-conscious idea that possibly they
might meet in this way the man of their choice. Some say
they are on " a lark ;" others thought that the advertise-
ments were rather conceited, and so gave the author a scold-
ing. This is a familiarity ; those whom we upbraid we
generally know best. A number were foreigners in our
country, and seemed to have few friends, and so sought
acquaintances through a "personal." The number that
have been in Europe and speak more than one language is
striking, and illustrates that travelling to any extent seems
to develop in the young the desire to be constantly on the
go ; not wishing (often not able) to give continued atten-
tion to any one thing ; tiring soon of everything if not of
life itself. This sort of discontentment can develop ven-
turesomeness or rashness in many a girl who, if surrounded
by normal conditions, would herself criticise such acts se-
verely. Women are the most severe critics of women.
Quite a number feel " lonely " and desire a " congenial "
correspondent or acquaintance. Some admit disappoint-
ment in love a cruel deceit on the part of a friend. Some-
times they will not tell their troubles, as it is painful to
181
recall sad experiences. Some found their lives " unevent-
ful" or "monotonous ;" others were tired of living in a small
town. Some liked " mystery." The novelty of correspond-
ing with an unknown person was " interesting."
Any young lady reader will have learned the foolishness
of answering personals ; but it is, in addition, a dangerous
practice. Few young women are aware of the embarrass-
ing position in which they place themselves by answering
the letter or advertisement of a stranger. They naively
assume that the stranger is a gentleman and would not take
advantage of them. But they commit themselves by writing
to a stranger at all. A woman is easily imposed upon ; she
is at the mercy of the man to a certain extent. She would
not for the world have it known that she had answered a
41 personal ; " but the man knows it, he could tell it ; if she
desires to dismiss him, it is difficult.
It would be desirable if more definite and satisfactory
conclusions could be drawn from the study of the corre-
spondents. But the documentary evidence in the letters
is so varied that assertions which might seem probable
cannot be made. No one reason can be given why the
" personal " was answered. If we say curiosity was the
cause, we overlook the fact that many women who have much
curiosity do not necessarily answer personals ; the same
reason may be given in regard to those who are lonely, or
have little to do, or who are in want, or who are of an inde-
pendent nature. All these conditions have much influence,
but none of them are sufficient in themselves to account
for the different cases.
If there is any general cause, it would seem to be a want
of education in the broad and true sense, such as defective
home training, want of refined and proper surroundings.
182
Children without father or mother, or with only one par-
ent, or children by first marriage, where there are other
children by second marriage, or vice versa., cannot, as a rule,
be considered in normal surroundings ; the same is true of
children who see too little of their parents, where the nurse,
maid, or chaperon exercise undue influence. Quite a num-
ber of the correspondents were brought up under either
one or the other foregoing conditions. A few, however,
seem to have always had good home surroundings, but an-
swered the " personal " simply in a freak. It is doubtless
true that the number of young women in the better classes,
with proper home surroundings, who would answer a " per-
sonal " is comparatively small. In a sociological sense,
therefore, answering a " personal " cannot be considered a
normal procedure for a woman. If, then, in this sense the
correspondents are considered under the head of abnormal^
the question arises as to how far this sociological abnor-
mality is due to surroundings, and how far to the individ-
ual herself. It is self-evident that every act is influenced
by both the character and surroundings of the individual.
These two factors are the cause of the act, but the question
is, To which factor is the act mostly due ? It cannot be due
wholly to either one. To distinguish quantitatively be-
tween the amount of influence coming from character and
that from surroundings is almost impossible. The indi-
vidual act is so interwoven with surrounding conditions and
character that to assign the degree of causation due to
each factor is somewhat artificial. The reason for this is
the small amount of definite knowledge which exists as to
the relations of the individual to society. Little is positively
known of the relations of the mind to the nervous system,
and still less of its relation to society.
183
It may be asked by the reader, why so many letters have
been introduced.
In an empirical investigation new lines of study require
much more detail. As a rule, it is better to have too many
data than too few. For to assume in a preliminary inquiry
what material is important and what not important is pre-
mature. To exclude material on theoretical grounds at the
outset is to allow presuppositions undue influence. A labora-
tory inquiry may be continued a year or more, and often
the result of all the labor may be stated in one page, or
one sentence ; or there may be only a negative conclusion,
but this is no reason that an investigation should not be
undertaken. Negative results may be useful for future
study, in indicating what methods or material to avoid.
Many letters are given also that the reader may be wholly
independent of the writer in forming a judgment as to the
general meaning of the letters and the significance of any
individual case.
In a scientific study of society it is the individual that is
the unit ; the importance of investigating him lies in the
fact that he is a repetition or representative of many others.
We are much more alike than we think ; it is natural
egotism that tends to exaggerate differences. The indi-
viduals who answered the " personals " probably represent
a constant factor in society, for the same advertisements
inserted at another time would doubtless receive about the
same types of answers.
The study of human beings is an indication of the prac-
tical tendencies of our times ; one new truth here is as im-
portant as facts about animals or rocks. Although we have
made sciences of the two latter, a science of human beings,
or anthropology of the living, hardly exists. A complete
184
study of any human being from birth (or before) till death
would make a volume, and until this is in some measure
accomplished we cannot expect to have a scientific sociology
in the rigid sense.
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