'^H^t
txhvary of t:he theological ^tmimry
PRINCETON . NEW JERSEY
PRESENTED BY
Dr. Charles G. Osgood
'See
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Account of the
LIFE
Of the late Reverend
Mr. David Bramerd,
j Miniftcr of the Gofpel,
i Mifftonary to the Indians, from the
honourable Society in Scotland ^^^r:^
\ f the Propagation of Chriftian Know-
ledge, and Pallor of a Church of
Chriftian Indians in New-Jerfey.
Who died at Northampton in New-EnglanDj
OSfoh.^th 1747. ^" ^^^ 3^^^ Year of his Age :
Chiefly taken from his own Diary^ and other prirate
Writings, written for his own Ufe ; and now
|i)ub]iflied.
By Jonathan Edwards, A. M.
I Minilter of the Gofpel at Northampton.
'^^ B O ST O N : N. E.
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'he PREFACE.
THERE are two Ways of rcprefentiflg^nd
recommending true Religion and Virtue to
the World, which God hath made Ufe of:
The one is by Doflrine and Precept ; the
other is by Inftance and Example : Both are abundantly
ufed in the holy Scriptures, Not only are the Grounds,
Nature, Defign and Importance of Religion clearly ex-
hibited in the Dodrines of Scripture, and it's Exercife
rndPradlice plainly delineated and abundantly cnjoin'd
and enforc'd in it's Commands and Counfcls : But there
?we have many excellent Examples of Religion, in it's
Power and Pradice, fet before us, in the Hiftories both
of the Old Teftament and New. — Jesus Christ^
the great Prophet of God, when he came into the World
to be the Light of the IVorld^ to, teach and enforce true
Religion, in a greaterDegrce than ever had been before,
he made Ufe of both thefe Methods : In his Dodrine
he declared the Mind and Will of God, and theNiiture
and Properties of that Vertue which becomes Creatures
of ourMake and in our Circumftances, more cle^lrly and
fully than ever it had been bcfore,and more powerfully
enforced it by what he declared of the Obligations and
Inducements to Holinefs ; and he alfo in his own Prac-
tice gave a mod pcrfc6l Example of the Vertue he
I taught. He exhibited to the World fuch an illuftrious
g^'^attern of Hunriility, divine Love, difcreet Zeal, Self*-
Ijenjala Obcd/enee, Patience, Rcfignation, Fortitude,
/ ' A z Mcckacfs,
11
*rbe PREF ACE.
Meeknefs, Forgivenefs, Companion, Benevolence, and
univerfal Holinefs, as neither Men nor Angels ever faw
before. God alfo in his Providence has been wont to
make Ufe of both thefe Methods to hold forth Light to
Mankind, and Inducement to their Duty, in all Ages ;
He has fromTime toTime raifed up eminent Teachers,
to exhibit and bear. Tcftimony to the Truth in their
VoffrmCy and oppofe the Errors, D^rknefs andWickcd-
nels of the World ; and alfo has, from Age to Age,
raifed up feme eminent Perfons that havefet bright Ex-
amples of that Religion that is taught and prefcribed in
the^Pord of God ; whofc Examples have in divine
Providence been fet forth to publickView. Thefe have \
a great Tendency to engage the Attention of Men to \
the Dodlrines and Rules that are taught, and greatly to^
confirm and enforce them ; and efpecially when thefe \\
bright Examples have been exhibited in the fame Per- \
fons that have been eminent Teacben, fo that the World ^
has had Opportunity to fee fuch a Confirmation of the
Truth, Efficacy, andAmiablenefsof the Religion taught^
in the PraQike of the fame Perfons that have moft
clearly and forceabiy taught it; and above all, when \
ihefc bright Examples have been fet by eminentTeach- }
crs in a variety of unufual Circum (lances of remarkable
Trial ; and God has withal remarkably diftinguifh'd
them with v/onderful Succefi of their Inflrudiions and
Labours, confiiling in glorious Events that have been
in many Refpe<5ls new and ftrange. ,
Such sn Inftance we have in the e^ccellefitPerfin^whofc
Life is publiHied in the foIlowingPages. HisExampIe
is attended with a great Variety of Circumftances, tend-
ing Co engage the Attention of religious People, efpeci-
ally in thefe Parts of the World ; He was one of dif-
cinguidiM natural Abilities i as all are fenfible, that had
Acquaintance with him : He was a Minifter of the
Golpei, and one who was called to unufual Services 'm\
ihli Workj whofc M'niftry was attended with very re-'
^he PREF AC E^
iii
markable and unufual Events, an Account of which
has already been given to thePublick ; one whofeCourfe
of Religion began before the lateTimes of extraordinary
religious Commotion, but yet one that lived in thofc
Times, and went through them, and was very much in
the Way of t^e various extraordinary Effeds and unuiial
Appearances of that Day, and was not an idleSpedlator,
bat had a near Concern in many Things that pafs'd at
that Time j one that had a very extenfiveAcquaintance
with thofe that have been the Subjcdls of the late reli-
gious Operations, in many of thefe Britifh Colonies^ in
Places far diftanc one from another, in People df many
different Nations, of difFerewt Educations, Manners and
'"uftoms ; one who had peculiar Opportunity of Ac-
uaintance with iht falfe Appearances and Counterfeits
f Religion : One who himfeif was the Inftrument of a
lofl remarkableAwakening, and an exceeding wonder-
\ \\ and abiding Alteration and moral Transformation of
\ ich Subjcdls as do peculiarly render the Change rare and
i^onifhing.
i In the following Account, the Reader will have Op-
ij ortunity to fee, not only what v/ere the external Cir-
i jmftances and remarkable Incidents of the Life of this
/|| 'erfon, and how he fpent his Time from Day to Day,
% s to his external Behaviour ; butalfo what pafs'd in his
/jwn Heart, the wonderful Change that he experienced
in his Mind and Difpofition, the Manner in which that
Change was bro't to pafs, how it continued, what were
it's Confcquenccs in his inward Frames, Thoughts, Af-
feflions and fecret Exercifes, through many Yiciffitudes
and Trials, from thenceforth for more than eightYears,
'till his Death -, and alfo to fee how all ended at lad, in
his Sentiments, Frame and Behaviour, during a long
Seafon of the gradual and fenfible Approach of Death,
under, a lingringlllnefs, and what were the Effeifls of
his Religion in dying Circumftances, or in the laft
Siages of his dying Illncfs. The Accoynt being writ-
ten,
w ne preface:
ten, the Reader may have Opportunity at hisLeifure te
compare the various Parts of the Story, and deliberately
to view and weigh the whole, and confider how far
what \s related is agreeable to the Didates of right Rea-
fon and the holy Word of God.
1 am far from fuppofing, that Mr. Brainerd'% inward
Exercifes andExpericnces, or his external Condudl, were
free from all Imperfection : ThcExample of Je/usCbrifi
is the only Example that ever was fet in the human
Nature, that was altogether perfect ; which therefore is
a Rule, to try all other Examples by ; and the Difpofi-
tionSjFramcs, andPraflices of others muft be commend-
ed and followed no further, than they were Followers
of CbriJ^.
There is one Thing in Mr. Brainerd^^aCily difcerna-
ble by the following Account of his Life, that may be
called an Imperfeflion in him, which tho' not properly
an Imperfedion of a moral Nature, yet may poffibly be
made anObjedion againlt the extraordinaryAppcarances
of Religion and Devotion in him, by fuch as feek for
Objedions againft every Thing that can be produced
ia Favour of true vital Religion ; and that is, that he
was one who by his Conflitucion and natural Tempet
was fo prone to Melancholy and Dejcdion of Spirit.
There are fome who think that all ferious ftridReligion
is a melancholy Thing, apd that what is calledChriftian
Experience, is little dP^befides melancholy Vapours
difturbing the Brdin, 'IPS exciting enthufiaftical Imagi-
nations. But that M(i Brainerd's Temper or Confti-
tution inclined him toiDefpondency, is no juft Ground
lo fufpedl his extraordinary Devotion, as being only the
Fruit of a warm Imagination. I doubt not but that all
who have well obfervedMankind, will readily grant this,
that it is not all thofe who by their natyral Conftitution
or Temper are moft difpofed to Deje^ion^ that arc the
Perfons who are the mod fufceptive of lively and ftronf
ImprcfTions on their Imagination, or the moftfubj-d/
the PREFACE. '- y
thofe vehement impetuous AfFeflions, which are the
Fruits of fuch Impreffions ; but that many who are of a
■y ay gay and /i«^a/»^naturalTcraper are vaftly more fo,
and if their Affcdions are turned into a religious Chan-
nel, are much more cxpofed to Enihuftafm^ than many
of the former. And as to Mr. Brainerd in particular,
notwichftanding his Inclination toDefpondency, he was
ipvidcntly one of that Sort of Perfons who ufually are the
Furtheft from a teeming Imagination ; being one of a
penetrating Genius, of clear Thought, of clofe Reafon-
ing, and a very cxadl Judgment ; as all know, that knew
him. As he had a great Infight into human Nature,
and was very d'tfcerning and judicious in Things in ge-
neral, fo he excell'd in his Judgment and Knowledge of
things inDivinity.but efpecially inThings appertaining
to inward cxperimentalReligion ; mod accurately diftin-
guifhing between real folid Piety and Enthufiafm, be-
tween thofe AfFcdtions that are rational and fcriptural,
having their Foundation in Light and Judgment, and
thofe that are founded in whimfical Conceits, (trong
Impreffions on the Imagination, and thofe vehement
Emotions of the animal Spirits that arife from them.
He was exceeding fenfible of Men'sExpofednefs to thefc
Things, how much they had prevailed, and what Mul-
titudes had been, deceived by them, of the perniciouj
Confequenccs of them, and the fearfulMifchief they had
done in the Chriftian World. He greatly abhor'd fuch
a Sort of Religion, and was abundant.ijj bearing Tefti-
mony againft it, living and dyin^vir^cl was quick to
difcern when any Thing of that 'Nature arofe, tho' i«
it's, firft Buddings, and appearfng under the moft fair
and plaufible Difguifes ; and had that Talent at defcrib-
ing the various Workings of i\\\^ imaginary Entbu^
fiafical Religion, evincing the Falfenefs and -Vanity of
it, and dcmonftrating the great Difference between this
and true fpir it ual Devotion,, which 1 fcarcely ever knew
equalled in any Other Perfon. rrr: And hisjudicioufnefs
did
vi ne PREFACE.
did not only appear in diftinguifhing among the Expe-
riences of others^ but alfo among the various ExercifeS
of bis own Mind ; and particularly in difccrning what
^vithin himfelf was to be laid to the Score o{ Melancholy *y
in which he exceeded all melancholy Perfons that ever
I was acquainted with (tho'Ihave been in the Way of
Acquaintance with very many ; ) which was doubtlcls
owing to a peculiar Strength in his Judgment : "Tis a
rare Thing indeed, that melancholy People arc well fen-
fible of their own Difeafe, and fully convinced that fuch
and fuch Things are to be afcribed to it, as are indeed
it's genuine Operations and Fruits. Mr. Braineri
did not obtain that Degree of Skill, which he had in
this Matter, at once, but gain*d it gradually ; as the
Reader may difcern by the following Account of his
Life. In the former Part of his religious Courfe, he
imputed much of that Kind ofGloomincfs of Mind and
thofe dark Thoughts^ to fpiritual Befertion^ which in
the latter Part o* bis Life, he was abundantly fcnfible,
were owing to the Difeafe of Melancholy -, accordingly
he often exprcfly fpeaks of them in his Diary as arifing
fromthisCaufe ; and he was often inConverfation fpeak-
ing of the Difference between Melancholy and godly
Sorrow, true Humiliation and fpiritual Defertion, and
the great Danger of miflaking the one for the other,
and the very hurtful Nature of Melancholy, difcourfing
•with great Judgment upon it, and doubtlefs much more
judicioufly for what he knew by his own Experience.
But bcfides what maybe argued from Mr Brninerd's
Strength of Judgment, 'tis apparent in F^ff, that he
was not a Perfon cA a warm Imagination. His inward
Experiences, either 'n hisConvidlions or his Converfion,
and his religious Views and Impreffions thro' the Courfe
cf his Life to his Death C of which he has left a very
particular Account ) none of them confided in, or were-
excited by,(lrong and lively Imag«s formed in his Ima-
gination j there is nothing a^ a|i appears of it in h^
Dioff^
ns preface: vh
Ibtary^ From Beginning to End : Yea, he told me on
hisDcath-Bed, that, altho' once when he wasvery young
in Years and in Experiencejhe was deceived into a high
Opinion of fuch Things, Jooking on them as fupcriour
Attainments in Religion, beyond what he had ever
arrived to, and was ambitious of them and earncflly
fought them, yet he never could obtain them 5 and that
he never in his Life had a ftrong ImprefTicn on his Ima-
ginaciottj of any V.fdge, outward Form, external Gioryj
or any other Thing of that Nature ; which Kind of
ImprtlTions abound among the wild enthufiaftic Peo-
ple of the lace and prefent Day,
As Mr. Brainerd's Religious Imprefliong, Views and
AfFedions in theii Nature were vaftly different fromEn-
thufialrn^ fo were tht-ir Effe5f5 in him as contrary aS
poffible to the ordinary Effcds of that. Nothing ^0
puffs Men up, as Enthufiajmy with a high Conceit of
their own Wifdom, Holmefs, Eminency and Sufficien-
cy, and makes 'em fo bold^ forward, affuming, and
arrogant : But the Reader will fee, that Mr. Brainerd's
Religion conftantly difpofed him to a moft meanTho't
of himfelf, an abaling Senfe of his own exceeding Sin-
fulnefs, Dtrficiency, Unprofitablenefs, and Ignorance 5
looking on himfeif as v/orfe than others ; difpofing him
to univerfal Benevolence, Meeknefs, and in Honour to
prefer others, and to treat all with Kindnefs andRefped.
And when Melancholy prevailed, tho' the Effeds of it
were very prejudicial to him,yet it had not thofeEffeds of
Enibujiafm ; but operated by dark and difcouraging
Thoughts of himfelf, as ignorant^ wicked and wholly
unfit for the Work of the Miniftry^ or even to be fecn
among Mankind, &c, Indeed at the Time fore-
mentioned, when he had not learn'd well to difiinguilb.
betweenEnthufiafm &rolidReligion,he joining and keep-
ing Company with fome that were tinged with no fmall
Degree of the former, for a Seafon partook with them
in a Degree of their Difpofitions and Behaviours ; tho*
as Nvas obferved before, he could not obtain ihokThingt
a a wherein
viii ne PREF ace:
wherein their Enthufiafm it fcif confided, and fo could
not become like 'em in that Refped, however he er-
roneoudy defir^d and fought it. But certainly it is not
at all to be wondered at, that a Youth and a young
Convert, cne that had his Heart fo Ivvallowed up inRc
Jigion, and fo carneftly dePifcd the flourifliing of it, buc
had had fo little Opportunity for Reading; ,Obfervation
and Experience, fhould for a while be dazzled and de-
ceived with the glaring Appearances of that miftaken
Devotion and Zeal ; efpecially confidering what the
extraordinary Circumftances of that Day were. He told
me on his Dcath-Bcd, that while he was in thefe Cir-
cumftances he was out of his Element, and didViolcncc
to himfelf, while complying, in his Condu6l, withPer-
fons of a fierce and imprudent Zeal, from his great
Veneration of fome that he looked upon much better
than himfelf. So that it would be very unreafonable,that
his Error at that Time fhould neverthelefs be efteemed
a juft Ground of Prejudice againft the whole of his Re-
ligion, and his Charafler in general ; efpecially confi-
dering, how greatly his Mind was foon changed, and
how exceedingly he afterwards lamented his Error, and
abhor*d himfelf for his imprudentZealandMifcondudl at
that Time, even to the breaking of his Heart, and al-
moft to the overbearing and breaking theSrrength of his
Nature ; and how much of a Chriftian Spirit he (hew-
ed, in his condemning himfelf for that Milcondudl, as
the Reader will fee.
What has been now mentioned of Mr. Brainerd.h fo
far from being juft Ground of Prejudice againft what is
related in the following Account of his Life, that, if
duly confidcrcd, it will render the Hiftory the more
Ssrvieeahle, For by his thus joining for a Seafon with
Enibiijiaffj^he had a more full & intimateAcquaintance
with what belonged to thatSort of Religion, and fo was
under better Advantages to judge of the Difference be-
tween that,and the other, which he finally approved and
ftrovc to his utmoft to promote, in Oppofition to it :
And
The PREFACE, jx
And hereby the Reader has the more to demonftrate to
him, that Mr. Brainerd in his Tedimony againft it and
the Sp.rJc and Behaviour of thofe that are influenced by
it, fpeaks from impartial Ccnviclion, and not from Pre-
judice ; bccaufe therein he openly condemns his own for-
mer Opinion and Condu6l, on Account of which
h * had greatly fuffered from hisOppofers,and for v^fiich
fome continued to Reproach him as long as he hved.
Another Imperfection in Mr. Braindpa^vjhKh maybe
obferved in the following Account of his Life, was his
being excejjive in his Labours ; not taking due Care to
Proportion his Fatigues to his Strength Indeed the
Cafe was very often To, and fuch the feeming Calls of
Providence, that it was extremely difficult for him to
avoid doing more than his Strength would well admit
of; yea, his Circumftances, and the Bufintfs of his
Miflion among the Indians^ were fuch, that great Fa-
tigues and Hardfhips were altogether inevitable. How-
ever, he was finally convinced, that he had err'd in this
Matter, and that he ought to have takf^n more thoro*
Care, and been more refolute to withftand Temptations
to fuch Degrees of Labour as injurM his Health ; and
accordingly warned his Brother^ who fucceeds him in
his MifTion, to be careful to avoid this Error.
Befides thelmperfedlions already mentioned, it Is rea-
dily allowed, that there were fome Imperfedions that
ran through his whole Life, and were mixed with all
his religious Affedions and Exercifes, fome Mixture of
what was natural with that which was fpiritual •, as it
evermore is in the befl Saints in this World. Doubtlefs
there was fome Influence that natural Temper had in the
religious Exercifes and Experiences of Mr. Brainerd^^^
there molt apparently was in the Exercifes of devout
T>avid, and the Apoflles Peter, John and Paul : There
was undoubtedly very often fome influence of his natural
Difpofition to Dejection in his religious Mourning,fome
Mixture of Melancholy with truly godly Sorrow arid real
Chriftian Humility, and fome Mixture ok the natural
a a 2 FiU
X ne P REFACE.
Fire of Youth with his holy Zeal for God, and fome
Influence of natural Principles mix'd with Grace in va-
rious other Refpedls, as it ever was and evrr wili be with
the Saints while on this Side Heaven. Pei haps none
were more fenfibic of Mr. Brainerd's Imperftdlions ihaa
hehimfelf; or could diftinguifh more a^curattiy, tl* .n
he, between what was natural and what was Ipintual,
*Tis eafy for the judicious Reader to oblerve, that his
Graces ripen'd, and the religious Exercifes of his H^art
became more and more pure, and he more and more
diftinguifhing in his Judgment, the longer he Jiv'd :
He had much to teach and purify him,and he failed not
£0 make his Advantage thereby.
Butnotwithftanding all thefe Imperfeftions, lam per-
fwaded, every pious and judicious Reader will acknow-
ledge, that what is here fet before him is indeed a re-
markable Inftance of true and eminent Chriftian Piety in
Heart and Praflice -, tendinggreatly to confirm theReali-
ty of vital Religion and the Power of Godlinefs, mod
worthy or Imitation, and many Ways tending to the
fpiritual Benefit of the careful Obferver.
Tis fie, the Reader fliould be aware, that what Mr.
Brainerd wrote in his Diary, out of which the following
Account of his Life is chiefly taken, was written only
for his own private Ufe, and not to get Honour and
Applaufe in the World, nor with any Defign that the
World fliould ever fee it, either while h^e lived or after
his Death, excepting fome few Things that he wrote in
a dying State, after he had been perfwaded fwith Diffi-
culty) not entirely to fcpprefs all his private Writings.
He fliewed himfelf almolt invincibly averfe to the Pub'
lijhing of any Part of \mDiary after hisDeath ; and when
he was thought to be dying at Bojiony gave the moft
flridt peremptory Orders to theContrary : but being by
fome of his Friends there prevailed upon to v/ithdraw
foftridand abfolute a Prohibition,hc was pleafed finally
to yield fo far as that hisPapers /hould be left in myHands^
ihat I might difpofi of them as libougbt "Jijould he violifsr
the preface; ^
God^s Glory and tbs Inter efi of Religion '"l^\^t afewDays
before his Death, he ordered fomc Part of his Diary to
be defl:royed(as will afterwards be obferved; which ren-
ders the Account of hrLife the lefs compleat. And there
are fome Parts of \i\iDiary are here left out for Brevity's
Sake, that would ( I am fenfible) have been a great Ad-
vantage to the Hiftory, if they had been inferted ; par^
cicularly the Account of his wonderful Succeffcs among
the Indians \ which for Subftance is the fame in his pri-
vate Diary with that which has already been made pub-
lick, m the Journal he kept by order of the Society in
Scotland^ for their Information. That Account, I am of
Opmion,would be morcentcrtaining and more profitable,
if it were publifhed as it is written in his Diaryy in Con-
nection with his fecret Religion and the inwardExercifes
of his Mind, and alfo with the preceeding and following
Parts of the Story of his Life. But becaufe thatAccount
has been Publifhed already, and becaufe the adding it
here would make the Book much more bulky and more
co{lly,which might tend to difcourage the Purchafe and
Perufal of it, and fo render it lefs extenfively ufeful, I have
therefore omitted that Part. However, this Defeft may
in a great Meafure be made up to the Reader, by his
purchafing his publickJ^wr^^Aand reading it in its Place,
with this Hiftory of his Life ; which undoubtedly would
ts well worth the while for every Reader, and would
richly recompenfe the additional coft of the Purchafe. I
hope therefore, that thofe of my Readers who are aoc
furnilhcd with that Book, will, for their own Profit and
Entertainment, and that they may have the Story of this
excellent Perfon more compleat, procure one of thofe
Books ; v/ithout which he muft h^ve a very impcrfcdt
View of the moft important Part of his Life, and ( on
fomc Accounts^ of the moft remarkable and wonderful
Things in it.— I ftiould alfo obferve, that bcfides that
^ook, and antecedent to it, there is a Narrative relating
Hjto the IndianA&dirs^ annexed to Mr. Pemkrton^s Sermon
'if Mr. Brainerd's Ordination j which lijcewife may the
mom
ja^ rhs P REF ACE.
more profitably be read in Conjunftion with his Diar^
previous to Nov. 5. j 744.
But M is Time to end this Preface, that the Reader
Oiay be no longer detained from the Hiftory it fcif.
JV. B. Thofe Parts of the following Hiftory, that are
included between Brackets thus [ J are the
Words of the Publt/her^ot the moft Part, fumma-
lily reprefenting ( for Brevity's Sakf) the fubftance
or chief Things contained in Mr. 5r^m<?r^'s Diary,
for fuch a certain Space of Time as is there fpeci-
ficd ; The reft is the Account that he givrs of him-
fclf in his private Writings, m his own Words.
I prefuroe, fcarce any Reader needs to be told, that
[ A. Mt, ] on the top of the Page, fignifies ^he
Tear of his Age, and [ A. D. ] The Tear of our
Lord.
SS2§2SISllglSISIBISIBIl^SS!§2SS§S§SSSS§g§
Bcfides the Errata at the End of the Life, the Reader is defir'4
to correal the following.
Page 69. 1. 36. r. cries, p. 77. I. 35. r. wring out. p. 122. 1. 31.
r. have more. p. 124. J. 24, 25. r. and often feel. p. j2^«
1. 12. r. BlefTed be God. p. 154. 1. 16. r. Nfjhaminy, ^
I'j'j, 1. 22. r. any Spirit, p. 311. J» 14. r. (o aiCft. p. 31^4
1. 29. r. taken iiom.
^m^m^^^mwMmmm^mmm^^w
The Names of Subfcribers to
the Rev. Mr. Brainerd\ Life.
Province of the Mafiachufetts-Bay.
His Excellency Jonathan Belcher, Efq; late
Governour of the MaJfacbuJettSy now Govcrnour
ef New Jerjey,
The Hon. Sir William Pepperrell, Baronet,
^
TjOn. JohnAlford,
P Efq;
DanielAppletonjEfq;
Rev. Nath. Appkton
Rev. Hull Abbot
Rev. Jofeph Afhltcy
JoA'pb Appleton
Samuel Adams, A.M.
Capt. WiJljam Ayres
Capt. Jacob Abbot
Aaron Auftin
Elifha Allis
Jofeph AlJcn
i)amue] Adams
Samuel Adams, jun,
David Adams
John Applen
Capf. Noah Afhley
Richard At well
Mary Auftin
Samuel Allen
John Adams
Peter Adams
IfracI Afliley
John Afhky
Benjamin Auftin
Sarah Allen
B
HOn. Tho. Berry
Efq;
Hon. Sylv.BournEfq;
Rev. John Barnard
Andrew Burley, Efq;
Rev. Daniel Blifs
Rev. Thomas Balch
Rev.SiroonBraoltreet
Edward Bromfield
John Barret
Jeremiah Belknap
Jofeph Be'knap
Jer. Belknap jun,
Thomas Baxter
Mary Bennet
Thomas Bromfield
Ep^^anm Brown
John Beatton
John Barnard
Jonathan Burt
Fellows Billings ,
B-cuben Belding
Jofeph Billings
Jofeph Bacon
Preferved Bartlet
Jofeph Baldwin
Eikanah Burt
Samuel Brett
Capt. — Brown
Samuel Bancroft jURa
Abigail Beck
Mofes Bradftreet
Spencer Bennet
William Browajun*
Samuel Bifs
John Billentine
Cotton Bradbury
Jofeph BragdonjuE.,
Tabuha bragdoa
Samuel Sragdon
Jeremiah Hragdon
Mary Bulman
Ifrael Butler
Jofeph Bifiiop
Jofeph ijiickiin
William Brown ".
Jacob Hurgis r. \-" ,'
Jacob Barney ; ^
Edward Hiake
GrinHU Blake
James Brigs
WilliamBrettur
John Brigs
Jarass Bfftl;a ,_^ .
Suhfcrikrs NamiSl
John Chamberlain
Capt. Mofes Cunifs
John Clement
Kicazer Clark
Ll (ha Cook
Nuah Cook, juHi
David Llark
Charles CJap
bclah Clark
Iihamar Clark
Eliphalct Clap
J fuh Llark, jun.
Mofes Clark
Daniel Clark
Aaron Cock
Jofiaii V hauncey
H'
Benjamin Blaney
David Blood
William Bartlet
John Bulkley
Jolhua Barton
Robert Blake
Samuel Blifs
tjtcphen Bidger
Berjamin Belknap
Samuel Baicumb
David B^air
Daniel Bucknam
Noah Brooks
Jonathan Biker
JonaihanBakcr
C
HOn.JuhnChand- • apt. JonathanCIark C hriftopher Dyer
Icr, Efq; Eliakim Clark Wililam Dunning
Hon.Ez.ChecvcrEfq, Jofiah Llark ~
Jofhua ChcevcrjEfq; j hn Clap
Rev. Ames Cheevcr Jofeph Clark
Rev. Peter Cl.rk ilaacLhild
John Choatc;, Efq; Samuel Colburn
Roland Cottcn, Efq; Abraham C umings
Jonas Clark, Efq; Jofeph C apron
Rev. Sam. Chcckley Samuel Cufhman
Bci.j. Crocker M. A. C apt. Elea. Carpenter Samuel Dak;n
Rev. AaronC'evciand Ber^jamin Crabtree BerjaminDay
Rev. Samuel Cooper J^hn Lrablree
Rcv.S Chcckley.jun James Coding
Jkcv. JamesChandler Nathaniel Carver
Rev. John Chandler i^amuel C afwcll
D
On. Sana. Dan-
forth, Efqs
Hon.Jof.DwighiEfq;
Timoih) DwightEfq;
WilliamDownejEfqj
Rev. Jofeph Davis
Stephen Dean
Samuel Dcming
John Deming
Nathaniel Davis
C apt. Eliphalct Day
Col. Thomas DunucH
Hannah Dyer
Simeon Dwight
John Deman
Ifaac Dodge
Ezckiel Dodge
Samuel Dwight
Obadiah Dickinfon
John Dickinfon
Thomas Dickinfon
Jonathan Dickinfon
Azariah Dickinfon
Samuel Day
Ephraim Dean
David Dean
Elijah Dean
Rev. Ji^fiah Crocker ( apt. Thomas Cobb Ebenezer Dean
Rev. S)lvaniJS'Jonart Ebenezer Cr^ni
Berj. Church, M. A.
Capt. J'hn Ccdman
Nathan Chctvcr
William Ccf-ptr
Tlirmas Cuflnn^^
John Call
Ralph ( rof:i
R (hj'd Caiy
jMJuifnin Cli^pin
jf-fiah Connant
Jfracl Cheever
John Croxford
Stephen Crawfoot
Lnmberton C ooper
'A chcus Crocker
Ebenezer Child
Jonathan Church
iMufva CufSn.
John Dexter,
E
REv. JofEmerfon
Rev. Andr.Eliot
Rev, Jofhua Eaton
RevJof.Emerfon,jun;
Andrew Eliot
hrtwn Emerfon
Jacob Emmons
Jofeph Edwards
/
Suhf<rihers Namesl
Benjamin Edwards
John Eli
Samuel Edwards
Jofiah Edfon
Jonathan Everet.
F
Rev.Dan.Greenleafe
David Gorham Efq;
Rev, Ebenezcr Gay
Rev. Ellis Gray
Rev. J«hn Graham
Re V. Samuel Hopkfna
Rev. Abraham Hill
R«v.Ph,. Hemingway
Rev. Ellas Haven
Abiah Hoibrook
John Hillier
Capi.J^hn Harmon
V.apf. Dan. Hay ward
John Greenleafe
LJOn, Francis Fox- Jofeph Green
■■'■ croft, Efq. Samuel Grant ^ _^
H©n.Wm.Foje,Erq; Benjamin Greenleafe Reuben Hermon
johnFairweatherErq; James Green Daniel Hubbard
Rev. John Fox ijamuel Git^n Aaron Hichcock
Rev. Tho. Foxcroft Ezckiel Goldthwait Enoch Holcomb
Thomas Greenough Simon Hunt
BenjaminGoldthwait John Hammond
John Fofter, Efq;
William Fenwick
William Fairfield
Andrew Frifwel
James Fofter
Ab:el Goodwin
Daniel Grove
Robert Gordon
bamuel Frothinfyham I^bez Gay
Ebenezer Fiflier
James Fofdick
Philip Freeman
Jofeph Fofter
Ralph Farnam
Matthew Farnam
Jofeph Farnam
Grafton Feveryear
Benjamin Fofter
E!foaFj{h
Ell Forbufh
Obadiah Frary
Jacob French
Jo^n Field
Gerftiom Fletcher
Ifaae Farnfwcrrh
Timothy Fu!ler
Edward Fofter
Jonathan Freeman
-bcephen Fu cr
Jonathan Fox
iabez Fifher
ibenczcr Freefe.
G
LjOn John Green*
^, . leafc, Ef^i
William George
Jofeph Gillfon
Benjamin GotC
James Gv^y
Edward Goodwin
Samuel Gay ford
Jvhn Gunn
Ebenezer Guild
Robert Grey
Chauncey Graham
Robert Grey
IchabodQoodin.
H
OOn. Ed. Hutch-
Lawrence Hart
Nehemiah Hail
David Hall
Stephen Hc/k'ns
William Hodgea
Jofeph Hall
Abigail Hall
Jofeph Hall, Jun.
William Hack
John Hall
Shad. Hachway M.A»
Jacob Hayward
Thomas Hayward
N^emiah Hcbart
Jofeph Hews
Naib Healy
Aaron Havs
Capt. Eliflia Hedge
infon, E'q; Jonathan Hale
Edw.Holyoke, Preft. jchn Hacks
of Harvard-College Stephen HaU
Robert Hale, E^qj Eliftia Hill
ThomasHubbaraE q Henry Hayward
ThomasHanctxkEfqfSamuel Haven
J^hn Hill, Efq; !V ofcsHale
Ed w. Hayward, Efq; Benjamin Holt
Rev. NathHf nchman Nehemiah Harrcndf Jl
Rev. William Hobby Jofeph Holt
Rev. Ivory Hovey Caleb Hopkins
a SI a Jchji
Suhjcrihers Nam^fl
L
TjOnEzckielLewIs
Efq;
H tn.GeoLconardE'q
Jofeph Lemmon Efq;
Samuel Leonaid^Eiq;
Rev. Dutilev Leavit
Thonia>Lm]bertErq.
Maj. Zeph. Leonard
JohnHarburt
Willum Humes
iofcph Hidden
phfaim HaywarJ
Joha Hart
Jnhn Hay
Kich: las Hopping
John Hancock
iJcnjimin Hvird, Jun. Caleb L)man
Aaron Hjtchinfun. Noah L) man
1 (lad Lyman
HOri.JohnJcfFrics, Ehas L^ man
Efq; Caltb Lampfon
Thomas Jcnncr,h«q; Sam.je' L-rd
Rev. Jcdu:iah J. wet John Lan^^Jon
Rev. Samuel Jtffcrds Ebcruztr Little
Rev. Ifaac Jones EdwardLangdon jun.
Rev. Jonathan Judd Jokph L\man
1'homas Judd ITaac Lyman
Samuel Jones \Viiliam L\man
Jonathan Ingram Nathaniel Lewis
ieriamin Ingott Robert Lufcomb
Tabcz rA>throp
James Leonard
Jonathan J.incoln
Jonathan Lillcy
James Lcland
Jeremiah Lawrence
John Long'ey^jun.
Jerjamin Ingott
JDanicl Johnfon
th Irigraham
John Johnlon
Samuel Ji'hnfon
£Jward Jn^raham.
K
SAmucI Kent, Efq, ,. -...^_, ,j
Rev. Sim.Kcndall Fcleg I^awrence
John Knight Ebenczcr Lane
John Knccland
J bf) Knceland, jun
Jonathan Kettle
William Kettle
Dudley Kent
Simuel Kinfley
David Kennedy
Benjamin King
JLbcnczcr Kendall
John Kendall
Nathaniel Kimball
Richard KifnSall
Cakb Kimball.
Ca| t. Elipb. Leonard
John Littlefield
John LiftlcHeld, jun.
Daniel Little
Jofeph Low
William L;;mron
Jofeph Lord
Robert Lawtridgc
Ebenczcr Luce.
M
LJOn.Jer. Moulton
E^q;
Hun.JamcsMinoiLq
Rev. Hen. Me/Tengcr
Daniel Moulton, Efq;
Capt. Jer. Moalton
Rev. John Moorhead
Rcv.Thad. Maccarty
Tim. Minot M. A.
Daniel Mil (h
Buriah Maa
Capt- E!e;;zerMeIvfn
Capt. SamMountagu
James Mears
Mofes Mar(h
Richard Millberry
Samuel MarOi
Ebenczer Marfh jun.
Daniel Marfh
Jt'hn Mountagu
Jonathan Moody
E'lA'ard Mackard
John Mifchel
Michael Mctcalf
John Mounrgomery
IJeij;imin Mors
JVIoody Mors
John Mudge
Sarah Martyn
Richard Martyn
Gerfliom Makepeicc
Nathaniel Metcalf
Cutting Moody
Samuel Millberry
Jofeph Main
Robert Martyn
Michael Met calf
Sam'jei Meriam
Edward ManindaJe,
N
F Rancid NichoIfoH
Afd Noble
Thomas Nortor\
Daniel Novcc
Jonathan Nicholf
J hn Nichols
John Noyce
1
Suhfcribers Names]
Q
HOnJofenO{b-)rn,
Hon.Andr.OliverEfq
William Owen
Jonathan Oakes.
P
TjOn.Jof.Pynchon
John Phillips, Efq;
Timothy Prout, Efq;
Rev. Thomas Prince
Charles Peirce, Efq;
OliverPareridge,Erq;
Samuel Pool, Efq;
Thomas Pain, M. A.
Rev. Samuel Phillips
Rev. Jona. Parfons
Rev. Tho. Prentice
Rey. Solo, Prentice
Rev, John Porter
Rev. Eben. Parkman
Rev. John Parker
Rev. Mofes Parfons
Rev. Samuel Porter
Charles Phelps
Jvdartin Phelps
E'liiha Pomroy
William Phillips
SimPhillipsjun.M.A,
Mofes Peck
Eiiflu Pomroy
J >hn Perry
Benjamin Parker
William Prefect
James Pullen
William PuHen
Abiel Packard
Lydia Packard
James Packard
Ifaac Packard
Ebene^er Pitts
Fetsr Pott
John Pickens
Zechariah PavJeford
Cornelius Putnam
Jacob Parker
Eleazar Pearce
J liin Parker
Jerathmeel Pierce
J jfeph Phipps
E ijah Phipps
Lemuel Powers
Edward Putnam
Stephen Prentice
J)hn Pearfon
John Powers
J.-.fuh Putnam
Nathan Peabody
Timothy Prat
Jjfeph Parker
J-icob Porter
Thomas Payne
John Procter
Daniel Pomroy
Ifaac Parfons
Jofnh Parfons
Jacob Parker
William Patten.
HOn. John Qiiin-
cy, Efq;
R
HOn.DanielRulTel
Efq;
Syl V.Richmond, Efq;
Rev. Natb. Rogers
Ifaac Royal, Efq;
Rev. Solomon Reed
Capt. Obadiah Reed
Capt. William Reed
Jafeph RobertsM.A-
J ->f«ph Robey, M.A.
James Rankin
John Robbins
Noah Rob in foil
a a sa
R
Daniel Reed
Benjamin Rockwood
Ifaac Rand
Nathaniel Rand
George Robmfotl
Thomas Rich
Jacob Reed
James Reed
John Robbins
Simeon Root.
S
EvJof.SewallD.D
Rev. Nath. Stone
Samuel Sewali, Efq;
John Storer, Elq;
Jofeph Sawyer, Efq;
John Steel, Efq;
Nathaniel Stone, Efqj
Rev. John Shaw
Rev. Nathan Stone
Capt.EbenczerStorcf
Jofeph Sherburn
Malachi Salter
John Symmes
John Scollay
Capt. Edward Sheaf
Samuel Phil. Savage
Thomas Symmes
Zechariah Symmes
Abigail Stevens
Capt.Jonath. ShcMon
Jonathan Sheldon jun»
Elijah Sheldon
Obadiah Smith
Thomas Smith
Samuel Smith
Ichabod Strong
No;U3 Strong
Caleb Strong
Elifha Searl
Caleb Sheldon
Elizabeth St/ong
J©h:s §tiickland
Suhfcrihers frames]
5Mnuel>mth
]-)aniel ^mth
Aaron Smith
Cm^tni Southworth
Zccliariah SucU
Miihcw Siniih
i)in)on Sloe jmb
Bcrj»m n Siaclc
KuhSlick
Npah Sabin
S»fnucl Shacklcy
Cipt. J >hn b'.cv'cns
John iihrd
Jcrcmah Shuttack
John >wa'iow
John SpafF rd
.M.hn Scott
Thom3s Strowbridgc
Simucl Somncr
NathaniclSnell M.A.
C.^p^ JohnStdckwell
John btock'A'cli Jan.
William Sh cpird
FrinCii Strat'cn
R-^harJ Strattcn
B:wvhcnScwii!,M.A.
^licharl Share
Abraham Sm:;h
luac Sini:i;
Bcrj^min Smiih
Jjha Smich
Jfaac Smith jun,
Samuel Sar^ cut
Daniel Fijjjw
J '
U' arj
S^niuri ^cwa'I
£«inuei Bcwt'tn, j'in.
f^amuel Scwaii, Vcr.
lknj\niin Scone
Jcrtaihai) Savward
IN.., -..ck-
Ruth Shck
Thomas Stanley
Luke St^bhins
Eihanan Spear
Jofeph Svviin.
T
/^XcnbridgcThat-
^^ chcr, Efq;
Rcv'. Samuel Tobcy
Rev. Row). Thacher
Rev. Peter Thacher
William Thomfun
Tvbj. Nath. Thwing
Jofcph Torry
RichjrJ Thorn pfon
Stephen Titcomb
Sjmuic! Trcaclwtll
William Thomas
Henry True
Peter Thaver
Gcifhom Tinncy
Archibald Thomas
Ifiacl Tifdale
Ji)hn Tifdalc
Barth^lemew Town
Juhn Town
Solomon TownftJnd
David Trail
David Taylor
Richard Tiippen
Timothv 'i'iippen
Samuel Titconib
CVpf. Samuel T)Ier
(apt. Samuel Tingle)'
J<mes IMlfjn
John Tawa
W.jliam Tenill
Wj^oltrsvurthTapen
MofrsTuttlc
lildau Ta vl.ir,
U
l-jU^h V ins
Jibcz Upbara
Richard Upham
Nathaniel Upham,
V/
OOn. Jofiah Wil-
*"^ lard.Efq;
Hon. Jacob Wendell,
Efq;
Hon.Sam.Wellcs.Efq
Hun. Sim. WattsEfqi
Rev. Edward Wig-
gle fworth, D. D»
Rev. Nehe. Walter
EdwardVVinflow^Efq
Rev. Jeremiah Wife
Rev. Wm. Williams
JcfhuaWinflow,Erq;
Rev.SamueiWigglef-
wortb,
Njhum Ward, Efqs
Rev. John Webb
Rev. Abjab Weld
Rev. John WaJcs
Rer. Juhn Walle7
RevChef^er Williams
Pele.^ Wifwall A.M.
Ifaac Walker
Jonathan Wills
ThL*)nias Wait
John WmQovv
John Weft
Daniel W^air
Capt. David Wyt?
David XVood
Thomas Wood
I^ezaliel Wilder
Ji fe})h Whitney
Jonathan Wella
Thcmaa V/y»r
S'cnhcr. VVright
Oliver Warner
?"fiiua Wells
Nathaniel Well§
Ui\icd Ward
;
I
Sul>fcrlhers Natnes,
Arteraas Ward
Benjamin White
Jeremiah Whipple
Naihaniel Whitney
B^njamii Wheeler
Francis Wheeler
Nath. Whittemore
He^zskiah Ward
Ob^diah Walker
Sarah Williams
Simeon Wilijajus
James Walker
Peter Walker
Ifaac Whitney
Nath. Williams
Abiel Williams
Joliah Waters
William Whitweli
Jonaihaa White
John Woods
Ifaae Woods
Obadiah Wright
James Wilfoa
Jonathan Wheelock
Oliver Watfon
Ebenezer Warren
John Watfon, jun.
Jotham Walton
Jabez Weaze
John Whiting
Jonath:in Whiting
Jofhua Winter
Ephraim Weffea.
Y
TJ Enajah Young,
COLONT OF CONNECTICUT^.
CHfiftopherAvory,
Efg;
Capt. John Avered
Abraham AwQty
John Alien
Joftiua Avered
Jofeph Alien
Jafon Allen
Richard Andrews
Jofeph Arnold
Enoch Arnold
Samuel Andrews
|"ohn Abbie
Phillip Abbot
Samuel Afhie/, jun.
B
<THsophiIus Bild-
*• win, Efq
Col. Aaron Brovvnfon
William Buel, Efq;
John ^is.%^ Erq;
Samuel BaiTet, Efq;
Rev. Wm. Burnham
Rev. |ofeph Bellamy
Rev'„ Ge«. Bsckwitl'j
Jofeph Bird, Efq;
RevDan Buckingham
Capr. JonathanBaker
Capt. [ohn Bebee
Timothy Brownfon
Richard Brownfon
Matthew Bellamy
MatthewBsllamrjun.
Samuel QQlVdmy
Abel Bains
Jonathan Benedick
Thomas Benedick
Thomas Bstts
Ifaac Brownfon
Jofiah Q:ow»('on
Thomas Brov/nfon
James Bild win
Jofiuh Bumb
James 8raufor«J
Hczckiah B'ilU
Daniel Bjtt
Ebenezer Balch
Capt. Samuel Bebee
Enoch Bayer
Benjamin Baldwin
Theophilus Baldwin
Benjamin Blackman
Jonathan Brownfon
Theop. Baldwin jun,
Jonathan Billings
Jonathan Bradford
Pelatiah BHfs
William Bennet
Capt. Samuel Blftiop
Samue! B«tt
Ebenez«r Baldwin
Nathaniel Browa
Mofes Rarret
Elijah Belcher
Jonathan Brewfter
Samuel Branch
Benjamin Blogget
Tho. Btncdick, jun,
James Buld win
Abraham Bennet
Caleb Baldwin
Jonathan Botsfcrd
Jacob Banee
James Bebee
Abel Beech
Jonathan Burr
Noah Baldwin
Joel Baldwin*
Nathaniel Brownfofl!
Ctoles Brownfon
Suhf^rihers N^mes,
William Btbes
Daniel Braincfd
Azar Beech
onaihfcn Badger
onathan Bingham
ofcph Bingham
Alalichi Butler
Solomon Bill
OlivciBrcwftcr.
C
COL'-ConantEfq;
Maj Samuel Coit
Jofcph Clark, K^q;
Rev ThomasCanlield
Jw)hn Crcry, E'"q;
dpi. Elcazer Carey
Jofiah Conant
Jofeph Clark
Hezekiah Camp
Chirles Chopcn
NaihaniclCompalk
James Clap
John Comllock
ZebadiahComltock
Samccl Comltjck
Gideon Comftock
JohnCdpp
Nathaniel Culhman
J)t:adatus Curtifs
J«njthan Cafs
Nathaniel Conc
Jofcp'i Cone
John Church
Capt. Samuel Cowlcs
Matthew Cole
(icorge Clark, A M.
Maiihcw Cadwell
Capt. ThD. Curtiis
Lbw-ncfccr Coc
yktsriahCurtifs
Jofeph Clark
Elcazer Clark
D--icl Cur lift
Obadiah Cook
Jonathan Clarkjun.
Scth Cutler
John Clark
Benjamin Chaplin
I3cnjaminCh;iplinjun.
bamuclCoburn.
D
ELiphalet Dyer,
E^q;
Rcv.MofesDickinfon
Samuel Dorrance
George Dorrance
Robert Denifoti*
Avery Denifon
Capt. John Douglafs
Seih Dcin, A. M.
William Dcnifcn
Adam Denifon
Jonathan Dean
Kbcnezer Dains
Jedidiah Dana
Abi Dammon
Daniel Dudley
John Djwn
Elcazec Dicklnfon
A fa Douglafs
Jofiah Dean
Jonathan Dcvercux
Naihaniel Dean
William De.in
13erjimin Denton
IJenjimin J)aning
Ebcnezcr i^owne
Ehenczer Dains
Silas Doan
Jtdidiih Dana,
E
S Amu el Emmons
Ebcnezcr Everit
John Enjlidi
IOrephFowler,Efq;
Rev. Jnfeph Ki{h
Capt. Benjamin Fenn
Amos Fuller
Nathaniel Fifli
John Flower
Ephraim Fellows
Nathaniel Ford
William Farnam
Ezekiel Fox
Thomas Fargo
Stephen Fuller
Zebediah Farnam
Phineas Ford
EliHia Fitch
Pclatiah Ficch
Ruth Fobes
Simon Fobes
Daniel Fitch
Jofiah Finney
John Fmney
Abigail Falmon
Ebenezer Fuller
Samuel Fielding
James Flint
Matthias Fuller
Thomas Fitch, jun,
G
REv. John Gra-
ham
Math. Gr'ifwold E'q;
Capt.NathanGidiiens
Rev. Jicob Green
Obaduh Gore
Jofeph (Tannings
Henry Gibbs
Thomas Goodwin
John Gourdon
J >hn Ciroman
John Gillet
Francis Guitcau
Timothy Goodwin
Benj.
Suhfcrihers Names,
Ebenezer Grant
Benjamin Graves
Lemuel Griffin
Jedidiah Graves
iiamuel Gillet
Ifaac Grifworth
Alexander Gordon
Daniel Gates.
H
HOn.Hezek. Hun-
tington, Efq;
JabezHuntingtonEfq
Rev. Dan. Humphry
Noah Hinman, Efq;
Capt.Ele.Hutchinfon
John Hutchinfon
James Hanes, jun.
Samuel Hare
Barnabas Hall
Nathaniel Hall
William Holt
PwObefC Holt
Jofiah Hammon
Nathaniel Hovey
NathanielHovey jun.
Zsbediah Holt
John Houfe
Stephen Hutchinfon
Samuel Houfe
Lebnit Harris
Kaac Higley
Ifaac H('fFord
Jofeph Flinfdell
Jofiah Burlburt
Daniel Hoffjrd
Tofiah Hooker
Capt.Mofes Hawkins
Benjamin Hicock
Eleazer Flinm^n
Stephen Hicock
Andrew Hinman
Juftus Hicock
John Hove/
JamesHurlburtM.D.
Jufhua Holt
Paul Holt
John Hibbard
Henry Hewit
Daniel Holt
Nehem. Huntington
Richard Hide
Obadiah Heath
David How
Robert Hebard
James Mc'Hillhoufe
Abel Holbrook
John Hal!
Nathaniel Hide
Jonathan Hinckley
Thomas Harvey
Jofeph Huntington
Jofhua Hendie
Chrifto. Huntington
Reuben Hubbard
William Hambleton
Ifaac Hill, jun.
James Hooker
Hezck. Hooker, jun,
William Hooker
Hugh Hanna
Ahira Hill.
I
REv. David Jewit
Rev David Judfon
Jacobjohnfon, A.M.
James Ingalls
William Johnfon
Jr.fcph Jacobs, jun.
Nathaniel Jewit
James Jud
Abel Judfon
Ebenezer Janes
Calebjohnfjn.
K
JGnsthan Kelfey
R'jbert Kennedy
Dennifon Kingfljcrry
Jonathan Kingfbcrr/
Thomas Kenny
Azariah Kenny
Timothy Kimball
Jofiah Kin^fley
James Kaflba
Samuel Knowles
Eldad King
Joh» Kafen
Benjamin Kellogg
Samuel Kellogg.
IJjOn.SamuclLynde
" Efq;
Rev. Henry Lord
Rev. Jonathan Lee
Rev. Mark Leaven-
worth
Sam. Lock wood A M^
James Lockwood
Jofeph Lee
Jofeph Lee, jun,
biimeon Lyman
John Landon
Ebenezer Leach
Nathaniel Loomis
Jjcob Lyman
Divld Lyman
Ifaac Lawrence
Jofeph Lockwood
Peter Lockwood
Nehemiah Lewi*
Hezekiah Lee
Jirhn Ledyard
Ebenezsr Lyman
Jcfiah Lyman
Benoni Loomis
J -feph Loomis
Benjamin Lothrop
Thomas Lyraan
Nathaniel L iomis
Thomas Loomis
Samue^l
Samuel Lee
Ifaac Lawrence
Bcr\jamin Lord.
M
Simeon Minor,Efq;
Rev. QidconMills
RevEvanderMorrifoD
Capt Richar^Mcnfon
Daniel Mccks
S«muel More
Jtaaihan Mcaritt
Hczekiah May
Samuel Miner
J»hn Meigs
John Meijs, joji.
bamuel MarQ^all
Jimcs Morris
Jonathan Munger
Jiphraim Miner
element Minor
Matthew Minor
Matthew Mitchel
Simon Mitchel
Jonathan Martin
Sarah Millard
J3avid Miller
Thomas Millard
Jonathan' Maliby
Jofiah Mack
William Morgan
r>anicl Morgan
Jofcph Morgan '
Thomas Marfhal
Kcv. Sjmue.' Mofe'y
Nathaniel Mofcly
([jcorgc Martin
C^corgc M.irtin, jun
Lbcrczer Martin.
N
]Ohn Ncwcomb
Obadiah.Newcom
Na.hjp:cl Newell
Ruth NcwcJl
Suhfmhers Names]
Hezek'ah Ncwcomb Theodore PreRon '^
Jfaac Nortun, jun,
Jtmcs Norton
Ji nathai) North
£benezcr North
O
Timothy Pearl
Cart, iraac Parifa
Edward Paine
Jofcph Porter
Abraham Pcirfon
iApt.S.muelOlm- Gerfhcm Palmer
' ftcad Benjamin Pcmroy
John Owen
Jufeph Otis
vViliiam Ofgood
Daniel Ofgood
James Occom.
^ P
Timoihy Porter
Williani Porter
John Peck
Jacob Prefton
William Prefton.-
R
Ev.Dav Rowland
SAmuelPrenticeEfq T\
- JofcphFitkm, Efq; ^Rev.N^il Roberta
Jcieph Perliin5,A.M
J« hn Porter
Experience Porter
B#njam!n Paine
Jofeph Prefti n
John Potwine
Jjhn Pair c
William Peai>ody
Simuel Piumb
Jonathan Prentice
Peter Pov/ers
Thcmas Phelps
Nathaniel Porter
Richard Pect
Rev. -Aibcr Rt.fuer
J hn R; binil.n
Jchabcd R bmfon
Eiifha Rcickweli
Nathan Randall
Jofhua Ra\ mor.d
Jufiah Rofe
Rufus Rude
George Richards ^
Ebenezer Richardfoa
David Ripley
Az^riah Rood
J'.'feph Richards
Samuel Ravmond
Nathaniel Porter jun. Jonathan RufTdl
Ifaac Peck Samuel Robbins
Henry Peck
Micjih Pride
David Palmer
John Palmer
Kufu9 Price
John Phelps
Ezckitl Peirce
J mcs Pinncs
Mary Pierce
Eliakim Ra}mond
Jofeph Rofts
SaraaclRindle^
S
npHomasStorrs E'q;
^ Rev.Rich.Silter
BerJaminStiles A.M.
J'feph Spencer
Willianj Steward'
Capt. Edward Phelps James Steward
}Am I'tiice Ji:'cicr Spencer
Jofcfh
Suhfcrihers Names]
JofephSk'fF
Nithaniei Shattock
J >reph Sailard
Ifrael Shaw
Eliakim Smith
Daniel Si John
Thomas Seymour
William :)umner
Samuel Steel
Afa Strong
Nathaniel Skliiner
Eliflia Sheldon
Az^r Smith
Capt. John Sprague
Huchcns Storrs
Capt. Samuel Storrs
Capt. Jof. Sweetland
Recompence Smith
Jof. Sweetland, jun.
Thomas Shaw
Jacob Stebblns
Jonathan Smith
J;)hn Steel
tjamuel Strong
John Sherman
Giles Siaufihter
Ifaac Scudder
JofephSt.Jihn
Daniel Si.J hn
Samuel Saiiford
John Sanford
Andrew Sanford
David Sanford
EphraimStrong A.M
f ofeph. Saff.»rd
Solomon SafFord
Ezekicl Story
Jofeph 5 nford
Ephraim ^m-th
J^cob Str&ng
Jcihn Shepard
Z^ebulon Se)'mour
fcarauel Smcdiey
Capt. Eliftia Stoddard Jof.Wncockfon,Erq;
^ '^ ' -'- - Roger WolcottjEfqj
David Whitney, E!q;
Rev.Solom, Williams
Ebenezer Wales, Efq;
NaihanielWales,Erq;
Rev. Stephen White
Rev. Jabcz Wright
Rev.Eben.Wheclock
Warham Williams
Tut. Yale CoK
Peletiah Webftcr
Jofiah Strong
James Stoddard
David Stowell
Ebenezer Stowell
David Smith
Ann Seldin
Samuel Spencer
Benjamin Smalley
Eljah Sprague
Elizibeth Swiff.
T
/^Api
James Tyler Eliftia Wanea
W Mofec T>ler
Stephen Tucker
Jedidiah Tracy
Hopeftil Tayler
Nathaniel Tracy
Daniel Tracey
Joel Thrall
Samuel Tracey
Elifha Tracey
Philip Turner
Nathaniel Tracey
JcTeph Tracey
EliakimTupper
E« mond Tompkins
Ndihaniel Thornton
Samuel Tonfly
Benoni Wright
William Williams
Ebenezer Wiiliamsi
John Watfon
Caleb Wheeler
Wil'iamWaafworth
Bti jamin Wheat
Joftph Williams
William Whitter
Eleazer Wright
Nathaniel Wales
Jjfeph Warner
Katharine Webifff
Samuel Woodward
Ifrael Woodward
Preferved Wright
Capt. JofiihThatcher Icbibod VVarner
James Tompfon Benjamin Wirchol
WilliamTrumball
Jonathan Twifs
Ebentzcr Tompfon
Ebenezer Taylor
John Tweedy
Taaits Tuttle.
^ U
/^Apt. JamesUtley.
W
/^OiEifh. Williams
a a3 a
Charles WoodrufF
Berjamin Woodruff
Efnathan Whitman
Joftiua Whitney, jun.
Daniel Williams
Samuel Warner
9tby\k Whitehead (
Pnvmt
Suhfcrihers Names,
Province of N ElVTO R K.
A Ft
Wflliani AJams, QTcphcn Foffer CAmuelLondonErq;
A. M. •^ G ^ Willi. Lawrence
B X 1 A^Abra.Garner Benjamin Lawrence
1Sa.ic Bnrnes, Efq; ^'^ William Glean Capt.BenjLhomedieu
Ellas Baiiev, Efq; Thomas Goldfmith PVBLevingftoa A.M
Rev. David Boftsvick Daniel Goldfmith JamesLopor.
Rev. Ifaac Brown Jafper Griffin. M
Rev. Simuel BucI H tlOn.E. Miller Efq
Jona. Barber, A. M. CLifhaHutchinfon, *"** Andrew Miller
Capt. WilJiamBryanl *-^ Efq; Samuel Mulford
Samuel Brown Rob. Hempfted, Efq; Daniel Miller
BernJaminBiiley Jofiah Howell, Efq; Thomas Mulford
Nathaniel Bailey Rev. Azar. Horton Lemuel Mulford
Elias Bailey, jun. Jon. Hunting, A. M, Ifrael More
Elizabeth Hreezs William Hedges Thomas More
John Biilcy Jofeph Hicks John Mackie
J »cob Bergen Samuel Hazard Capt. -- Merfey
Beujamin Biufter. JonathanHazard,jun. Daniel More
C Nathaniel Hazard John Mitchell
¥lOn. Tho. Chat- John Hunting John Marfton
* A field, Efq; Exekiel Hedges Zcbulon Mills
J /cph Conklin John Hedges Ifaac Mills
Jofvph ConklinTcr. Benjamin Hutchinfon William Miller
:5^«.ucl Cox Abigail Hull Hannah MeniO).
Tnonus Coupcr Conftant Havens N
J(.hnC.>«-.k Samuel Howell /^ Eorge Norton
Davitj Corwiih Samuel Hunting ^-^
NJ.uniaii Car,)cnter ('apt. Theo. Howell P
Jof( ph Carpenter El. (ha Howell p Ev. Ebenez.Pem-
JiCch Carle ilVael Flaifey Ia. berton
A*in Cafle. Capt.Eleaz. Hawkins R
D Kieazc Hawkin«,jun. » Ohn Rhc
^Am-jcl Uentrn Charles Howell J
»^ Jjleph Djvi, Abraham Howell S
Margaret Du Bull Fzekie) Ilowell YyllliamSmith,Erq;
Daiiiel Daiton. Kcnjan in Hinchman Capt. VVm. Smith
^ Samuci Higbce, jun. WilliamP.^mithA.M.
P ^«*<cl Evcrct 1 Nicholas Snith
■*-' Nicholas Evcrct I Otn Jennings Liizabeth StttweU
John Evcrcc J Tlrmas Jyiup Cuibcrc .Smiih
b:mon L.i N^rh. n fv^.-. Richari
Suhfcrihers Names.
RIchari Smith
Job Smith
Benjamin Strong
Selah Strong
Benajah Strong
Thomas Strong,
W
REv.VVm.Throcp lOfeph Wickam
John rhurftun
Tonahan Tornpl'on.
U
*YOfcph Vdlentine
t Elq;
Kev. Sylvanus Whue
1 Inaihan White
Richard Wigging
Benjamin Wright
Richard VVoodhulj^
Rich. WV,odhull jun,
Obadiah Wells,
PROVINCE OF N EW'J ERS ET.
T> Ev.Tho.Ahthur
*^ JohnAyreSjEf ;
William Allen
John Anderfon
Janet Aikman
Hannah Anderfon
Mofes Ayres
William Axtell
Jonathan Arrifon
Henry Axtell
Thomas App'egate
James Afnton
W^ilJiam Aline.
B
RE^^.Aa.BarrPrefi.
of N.JirfnyCol
Rev Eiiab Byram
Robert Barkley
Henerica Bennom
Samuel Brown
Daniel Bayles, jun.
Caleb Baldwia
Ifaac B.bbet
Ebenezsr Byramjun.
William Boyd
Samuel Beaty
Solomon Brown
Frederick Buchelow
John Buckelow
Samuel Barren
Timothy B^ll
John Black
Francis Rrewftcr
Robert Breden
Peter Booth
Robert B air.
C
REv.JaraCampbeH
(ame^ Cr lumnoe
Mary Craig
Thomas Comra^
Barnabas Curtifs
Jonathan Comes
John Carr, jun.
William Collwell
Elizabeth Crawford
William Cruckfhank
Jean Cathcart
John Chambers
W^illiam Cove/)haven
Alexandria Cr^jig
Ezra Gary
John Cary
Daniel Cary
Jacob Coazocart
Thomas Cock
Samuel Clark.
s a aa 2
D
O Ev. Jamts Da-
*-^ venport
Narhaniel Dotey
Henry D-fbroy
Lucus J^vvedt
William Davifcm
WilliamDavifon, ym
Samuel Daly high
Duncan DovQ^
E
MAfkell Ervln
David Enghfa
James Englifh .
NoahEley.
F
J Ames Fullerfon
Jeremiah Field
Michael Field
Kitharinc Frazlci
Charles Ford
Jonathan Frazec
William i'\»rd
Saiali f'rancia
NathaniclyKi Her
J ihnFinley.
G
William GdHon
Divid Gioze^
Eilenor Gjlhland
Jofcpii
Suhfcrihers Ntwtes.
fofcph Gafton
Hcndnck*^i»ilock
Jucham Gulock.
H
'lO'iath.Hulmcs,Erq.
.1 Rev Andr. Hunter
Thomas Hamblin
Jonas Hocy
Adam Hall
Mofes Hemb
Mary Heid
Francis Hall
James Hamilton
bimon Horn
William Horn
Hannah Horn
William Hugan
fjhn FIcndcrfjn
John HM
Michael Henary
William Henary
Daniel Henary
John Hoey.
1
CAmuel J *hnfon,
•^ Hfqj
Richard Jewell
"William J ties
S(ej)hen Jcfup,
K
C>^n King
hn Kelly
Akxande'KilIpairick
Williau) Ktrr
Samuel Kcr
Jjh.ph Kcr.
^^RlV, I'lio. Lewis
J'viiraim Lnckhcari
iVter Lccnn e.M.D.
Kjtbariric />lord
li<y.m ;Iv<cfly
J
James Lvan
Levi Lewis
James Lisdcy
R >ger Lawfon
Ehphalet Lewis
Mary LtfF:rs
Abraham La Rue
Thomas Lake
Samuel Lowden.
M
T> ev.Cbarlcs Mac-
-^ knight
Samuel Mac'Conkey
Mary Mih'ikin
El.zabeth Mtllikin
Jamcs'-Moore
Robert Mc'Fee
Mary.Maitifon
Aaron Mactifon
John Macferran
h'eter Mac' Dowel
David Mac'Cv)vvin
Matthias Mount
Anne Mount
John Morehead
Thomas Mcrfhon
Jofeph Mon'ov/
J hn Macombs
Mary Mac mbs
Samuel M^comaly
Andrew Mackmakin
Jdtties Magce
S^rah Macalalter
Jan,e> Martin
John Mac'Ciiilird
Cicor^e Milis
Ifjac Mills
Beija. Mp.ckrarlino;
( jcof^e Mitc'K fk.a
J^cob Mamlon
Hugh Martin
James Martin
rraocis Mac'Konnic
N
WliiiamNorcrofs
Rob. Newell
Sanauel Neilfon
Thomas Newman.
O
TOhn Oiivantj
'^ Stephen Ogdcn.
P
REv. John Peirfon
Tho. Paget, Elq;
Jofeph Peck, Efq;
JohnPeirfonjun.M.D
Tobias Polemus
Ephraim Phillips
Peter Parine
Howell P;well
Herbert Peck
Jimes Pitney
John Porter.
R
HOn JuhnReading
Efqi
Martin RycrfQn,Eiqi
R bert R.ife
James R -fs
Sarah Read
Brict R.hy
J >hn Roy
Nath. jbicz Randolph
Matihew Rue
Simuel Rolte
Robed Roel
Abraham Reeves
John Rofbrugh
John R.;ncy
RobcitRenolds,
S
p> Alph Smith, Wv
Rev. Elihu Spencer
Michai-1 bweeiman
Denck Sutvan
Suhfcrihers Thames.
John Stockton
John Sodon
Derick Sutvan
Aiburt Shank
William Suobey
Luke Scank
Ht-nry Sloan
James Stout
Henry Scajy,
CJe^,
T Koart Van Voorhaat
Wm Tennent Henrick Voorhas
John Tomfon
Rurh Towefhend
Aaron Tern Ton
Jrfiah Throope.
U
THomas Vanclife
Art Vankirk
Thomas Urmftone
Tobias Van-Nordcn.
W
EleazerWales
J.WctheriU,Efq,
Agnis Watfon
J^mes Wales.
Rp
PENNSTL VAN I A.
A Matthew Clarfcfon
^VTWWzm Adams Th mas Oark
'^ Arch, ^nderfon John Larfcn
Thomas Armftrong J -mes Craig
David Allen. Kuharine Culley
B David Chambers
Vy Ev. Char. Beatty Jacob Cooper
*-^Rev. SamuelBlair Samuel Cheefeman
Rev. John Blair
Thomas Brov^n
Hugh Bartley
John Bowrhn
Stephen Bower
Ifaac Billien
Nathaniel Britten
Robert Bredcn
George Bradley
J -hn Elakly
Edmond Beach
William Biddle
E. Bou^inot
Thomas B ;urne
Jofeph ^iddome
Andrew Blackburn
Jofeph Browne
John B yd.
C
John Campbel
Mary Campbel
William Clingan
George Clingan
Mofes Cravi'ford
James Cumings
imes Craven
Daniel Craig
John Crawford.
D
T> Obert Downey
-^-^ Thomas Davis
Tr ftram Davis
John Davis
Jonathan Drewrcl
Mary Dobin.
E
John FInlcy
Hugh Fargufon
J >hn Fullerlawa
Thomas Francis
John Fifher
Rt bert Fin ley
ManafTeh Finley
Wjjliam Falconar
John Freenaan
Jofeph Fox
Samuel Fifher
John Frazier.
G
Apt. Wm
C
Grant
DAvid Edmlfton
John Edward
XY/M. Craig, E'q; Robert Ealtburn
^^ Tho.CraigEfq; WilhamEdmifton.
Rev, Alex.Cumming F
Ais;^ander Colbreth O Ev. Sam. Finley
^^Magnes Falconar
' John Gvty
Hugh Gunning.
H
A Lex. Hunter, Efq;
Cap< Jam.Huftoa
Samuel Hazard
Jjfeph Hair
Benjamin Hair
Hugh Hamilton
Robert Henry
Alexander Hannah
William Hodge
Andrew Hodge
Hugh Hodge
Ka<hrine Harrifon
Jofeph Hall
Suhjcrikrs Names
^^m. Smith, Efqi
Q>S
Mary fleron Abel Marple
Pcnn HoaJc John Mac'Coombs
Tames Horner Alexander Magec ^ 'Samuel Smith
Thomas Hutchinfon Hugh Mc'Cullough William bhippcn
Thomas Hcrren James Mc'Cullough Jofeph Shippcn
William Heflct Anthony Morris Jol)n bmith
1 John Mc^Nair James Simplon
CApt.Rob. Jamir^n James Martin ' Abraham Scott
Samuel Johnfon ThomasMc'Cracken Henjamin Snodgrak
Henry J ami fen
Henry Joicnfton.
K
'T'Horaas Kid
^ Mary King
Henry Kclfey
James Kelly
John Kirkpatrick
James Ker
Jofeph Ker.
REvDanLawrcncc
Thomas Logan fj Annah Owen
Thomas Lewis *• •*■
Fiancis Linfil
Alexander Miller Thomas Smith
John Miller Robert Stewart
Tho. Mounrgomery AnthcBiy Scout
James Mc'Kee
Alex. Mc'Clintock
John Mudict
Tohn Mackmath.
N
SAmuelNeilfon
James Neilfon
Thomas Nefmith.
O
Archibald Leari
Robert Lyle
Charles Lyons
Jofeph Leech.
M
npHomas Poe
•■■ John Poak
John Potter
James Pethoren
Jeremiah Peck
CApt. Nath M3gec'-arah Prichard
Alexander Moure John Pcet.
J^.hn Mc'Ferren R
Robert Mc'Cracken R^v. John Rnan
John Mc'Ciillock V\iiiam Rankin
John Mitchell
Ifibcl Mc'Donnel
M^nhcw Mc'Min
7hi.mas Miller
J'»hn Man
J^'fhua Ma'.Jdox
John Mc'Lall
^iar^h Moore
C ':j]cn Mdc'Swcny
Francis Ricliley
Fvan RawianJ
|ohn Riddle
'/'hnmas Ruddy ,
Kliz^beih Rubctde^u Ldward Warner
S. Robeitfon Rochal Wallace
▲dnari Scout
George Spaffota
Mary Stevens
Thomas Sloan.
T
15 Ev.Gilb.Tennent
Rev. Rich. Treat
Mofes Thompfon
Tunis Titus
Jcfliua Thomas
Hugh Torrence.
U
OEnry Vernor
*-•■ Henry VanDykc
Ifuiah Vanfandt.
W
r^Apt.Rich. Walker
^^Corncl. Wynkoop
Nicholas VVynkoop
Jchji Wjpton
James Wyer
VVillnm Walker
Robert Wyer
Mt.fcs VVMiire
Hugh Wdfon
ohn VValker
James R^UIon
'Willum Rufli
Sarah P.fvnoI'J??
1 homas Wclfh.
Y
William Yo'i?.
NLff
Subjerihers Names.
Province of N EW- H A MP S H I R E,
A Capt. Daniel Oilman Thomas Patch
JOfeph A(iams. Jofiah Gilman M. D. William Pottle
John Gilman John Purmet
B Samuel Goodhue Jv fiab Pyper
EZra Barker Griffis. James Pike.
Ebenezer Barker A^ R
Mofes Boynton D En^nin Jewit, REv. Daii. Rogers.
Samuel Brown ^ ^^
Jofiah Rrown ^ L S
Benj. BianGhardjjun. ^^Ofes Leavltt, tJEnry Sherburne,
JofliuaBoynton. *^^ Efq;tJ. j^m,
R
C Mat. LivermorCjEfqi Job Strong, B. A.
Ev. Ward Cotton Jonathan Low. Theophilus Smith
Wm.Cunimin£S M Elias Smith
James Cate R-^^* ^^^^'^ ^^^* Jacob Smith.
Nathaniel Clement Gregore fer him- T
Jofiah Conant. felf & 30 of hisParifh HEnjamin Thing ,
D Wilh'amMoore ^ Jonathan Taylor
ZEdekiah Drury. Daniel Mafoa EdwardTaylor.
John Mead. W
E N /^Ol.Anri.Wiggint
15 Ev. Dan. Emer- TTHomas Neivlns Vj Simon VVig£;in?
^^ fon *• JofhuaNeal. Thomas Wiggins
John Eh'ot. P AnJr. Wiggins, jan-
G <jOhn Phillips, A.M. Francis Worceftcr.
Gilman, Efq;
Col. Sam. Gilman
Eter Gilman, Efqjy Capt. Peter Powers
Colony of RHODE-ISLAND.
A Nathaniel Coegcfnail G
pOI. Job Ahny, Thomas CVggtihall C Bberezcr Grrr
Martha Church i-- Nalh. (ircei bii-,
R Henry Cogirefha!! H
UErmione Ban'fler Jamss Cjhwon. W/M. Hall^ E q;
*■•* JofephBaylfv D ^^ Jof. Hvwiand.
ConU;*nt I-Jayley "px Aniel Donbam K
.7 imo'hy Balch 1--^ Jacob Dehane. pBenezcr Ko=£ht.,
Hjcxandcr Bradford. F ^
C T^Benezer Fifhcr M
':- O'h Campbell ^-^ Peter Frai.kiin. 3'-^ Avid Moore
Suifcrihers Names,
W
Sinieon Price. -'•^ Jorm Sawyer. J Benjamin Wyat
R T • JohnWillfon
TVTIlliara Rich- rjEnrv Tifdale Benj min VViliron
^^ mond, Efqj ^* James Tanner. Abigail Wanton.
Ichabod Richmond U Y
Samuel Rhodes "D Ev-WilliamVinal. CAmuel Yeats.
Jeremiah Rofs- '^^ % ^
T'he Names of the following Subfcribers^ not being received in Stafon^
we have iho*t it proper to injert them here,
D Avid Burt ThomasHibbertB.A. Thomas Sweet
Dr.JonathanBlifsDr. Charles Pynchon Mofes Stebbms
Nathaniel Burt Rev. John Sergeant Rev. PeterThacher
Alexander Bolckum Capt. Benj, Savage Rev. Benj. Tappen
Simon Col ton So. Cflr^/zwc. John Tyler
Obadiah Carpenter William Stebbins Henry Tolman
William Carpenter Robert Sandcrfon Rev.Sreph. Williams
Thomas Coeper Henry Sweet Richard Woolworth
Nathaniel Eiy John Sweet Jofiah Welman.
Ali4GS Dennifoa
The Names of many ethers who have fubfcribV, are not yet
come to Hand. And in the roregoing Lifis, wheie any Gen-
tlemen are mention*d without their proper Addition or Title,
or out of their proper Place, the Fubliftier rely's en their
Candour to excufe it.
»^gS^BPPI§|g?B^.^|||?gi
An Account
of the Life of
The Reverend
Mr. David Brainerd^
Part 1
From his Birth, to the T'ime whe7z he hegah
to devote himfelf to the Study of Divi-
nity, in order to his being fitted for thd
Work oj the Miniftry^
M
R. David Bralntrd was horn Jprii 20. 171^*
at Haddam^ a Town belonging to the County
of Hartford^ in the Colony of ConneSficut^
New-England. His Father ^vvho^'itd whcri
this his Son was about nine Years of Age, was
the Worihipful Hezcklah Brainerd Efq; an Affiftant, or oftc
of his Majefty-'s Council for that Colony, and the Son of Danitl
Brainerd Efq; ajufticc of the Peace, and a Deacon of theCh'jfch
of Chriit in Haddam, His Mother was Mrs. Dorothy Hohart^
Dawgbtet to the Rev. l/ir, Jeremiah Hob art ^ whopreach'da
iR'hile at Topifield, and then removed to Hmp/lead on Lon^-
Jjhhdy and afterwards removed from Hmpjiead ( by Reafon ot
Humb§rs mmg Quakers, and many o^bws being fo Irreligious,
IS
thi<
2 <r;^^ LIFE ' -
that they would <3o nothing towards the Support of theMlniHryJ
and came and fettled in the Work of the Miniftry at Haddam :
Where he died in the 85th Year of his Age : Of whom it is
remarkablcjthathewent to the publickWorfhipin theForenoon,
and died in his Chair between Meetings. And this Rev. Gen-
tleman was Son of the Rev. Mr. Peter Hohari^ who was, firft,
Minifterof the Gofpelat Hingham^ io tl>e County of Norfolk in
England, and by Reafon of the Perfecution of the Puritans, re-
moved with his P'amily to New-Engla:^d, and was fettled in the
Miniftry at Hin^ham, in the Majfachujetts. He had five Sons,
viz. Jojhuay Jeremiah, Gerjhom, Japheth, and Nehemiah, His
Son jQf})ua was Minifter at Southol^ooLong- Iftand ; —Jeremiah
was Mr. David Brainerd's Grandfather, Minifter at Haddam^
See. 45 was before obferved : Gerfhom was Minifter o^Groton in
ConneSficut : Japbeth was a Phyfician, and went '\n the Quality
of a Do6tor of a Ship to England, ( before theTime for the tak-
ing his fecond Degree atCollege ) and defigned to go from thente
.tdthe Eafi-lndiei, and never was heard of more : Nekemiahvjz^
fometime Fellow of /:^^rz;ar^ College, and afterwards Minifter
at Newton in the MaJJufhufetts. The Mother of Mrs. Dorothy
. Hgbart ( who was afterwards Brainerd ) was Daughter to the
Hev. Mr. Samuel Whiting, Minifter of the Gofpel, firftat Boflon
4n Lincoln(hire,^nd afterwards Til Lynn in the MaJJachujetts ,NeW'
England : He had three Sons that were Minifters of the Gofpel.
. Mr. David Brainerd was the third Son of his Parents. They
liad five Sons and four Daughters : Their eldeft Son is Hezekiah
Brainerd. Efq; a Juftice of the Peace, and for feveral Years pafl
a Reprefentative of theTown of Haddam, in the GeneralAfTem-
\>\'j o\ ConneSficutCoXony : The fecond was theRev.Mr.A^^^^ZKw^
'^praiper^^- a worthy Minifter 2ki Ea/ibury in Conne^icut, who
^difd of a Confumption Nov. 10. 1742. The fourth is Mr.
jjohn Brainerd, who fucceeds his Brother David, as Miffionary
to the Indians, and Paftor of the fame Church of Chriftian Jn-
■tiansii^ New-Jtrfey ; And the fifth was Ifrael, lately Student
at Tale-CoWcgQ in New- Haven, and died fince his Brother
JD^vid.'-' Mrs, Dorothy Brainerd having lived feveral Years a
Widow, died, when her Son, whofe Life I am about to give an
Account of, was about fourteen Years of Age : So that in hi?3
Youth he was left both Fatherlofs and Motherlefs.— What Ac-
count he has given of Himfelf, and his own Life, may b« ktvi iu
what fellows. J . • '•
A..^^/.i-'i5- ^/ ^-^D^vidB.ainerd. AD I732-I733- 3 \
T Was, I think, from my Youth, fomething Tober, and inclined
-*• rather to MeiancKoly, than the contrary Extreme ; but don't
yemember any Thing of ConvidUon of Sin, worthy of Remark,
*till I was, I believe, about feven or eight Years o^ Age ; when I
became fomething concerned for my Soul, and terrified at the
Thoughts of Death, and was driven to the Performance of Du-
ties : But it appeared a melancholy Bufinefs, and dcf^royed my i
Eagernefs for Play. And ala^ ! This religiousCojicern was but '
lliort-Iived. However, I fometimes attended fecretPrayer ; and
thus lived at Eafe in Z/Vff, iv'ithout Gad in the IVi^fldj and with-
out much Concern, as I rememb.er, *till 1 was above thirteen
Years of Age. Butfomctime in the Winter 1732, I was feme-
thing roufed out of carnal Security, by ifcarce know whatMeans
s^tfir/i ; but was much excited by the prevailing of a mortal
Sickncfs in Haddam : I was frequent, conftant and fomething
fervent in Duties, and took Delight in reading, efpecially Mr.
yaneway'i Token for Children ; I felt fometimes much melted in
Duties, and took great Delight in thePerformance of 'em : And
I fometimes hoped, that 1 was converted, or atleaft in a good and
hopeful Way for Heaven and Happinefs, not knowing what
Converfion was. The Spirit of God at this Time proceeded
far with me ; I was remarkably dead to the World, and my
Thoughts were almoft wholly employed about my Squl's Con-
cerns ; and I may indeed fay, almoji 1 was perfwaded to be a
Chrijiian. I was alfo exceedingly diftrefTed and melancholy &t
the Death of my Mother, in March 1732. But afterwards my
jeligtous Concern began to decline, and 1 by Degrees fell back
into a confiderable Degree of Security j tho' Iftill attended
fecrct Prayer frequently.
About the 15th of April 1733, I removed from my Father*^
Houfe to Ea/i- Haddam^ where 1 fpent four Years, but l^iU
without God in thelVorld ; tho* for the mofl Parti went a Round
. of fecret Duty. 1 was not exceedingly addi6led to young C(un-
pany, or Frolicking (as it is called) But this I know, that when
1 did go into Comply, I never returned from a Frolick in my
Life, with fo good a Confcience as I went with ; It always add-
ed new Guilt to me, and made me afraid to come to the Throne
of Graces and fpoilcd thofe good Frames, I was v^ont furne-
times to pleafe myfelfwich. But alas! all my good Frames
were but Self-Ri^hteou/nefs^ not bottomed on a Dcfirc lor tha
Giory of God.
R 2 -'^'^""i
"^ y£'A 19-21. 21&^ LIFE A.D.i737£^i738;
About thje latter End of yfpril 1737, being full 19 Years of
Age, I removed to Durham, and began to work on my Farm,
^and fo continued the Year out, or near, 'till I was 20 Years
old ; frequently kinging, from a natural Inclination, after a
liberal Education. When I was about twenty Years of Age, I
applied my felf to Study ; and fometime before, was more than
ordinarily pxcited to and in Duty : But now engaged more than
ever in the Duties of Religion. I became very ftri^, and watch-
ful over my Thoughts, Words, and Actions ; and thought I
mufl be fober indeed, becaufe 1 defigned to devote my felf to the
|v4iniftry ; and imagined I did dedicate my felf to the Lord*
Some Time in ^pril 1738, I went to Mr. Fijke's, and lived
with him, during his Life. * And I remember, He advifed me
wholly to abandon young Company, and afTociate myfelf with
grave elderly People : which Counfel I followed ; and my Man^
per of Life was novy exceeding regular, and full of Religion,
iuch as it was : For I read my Bible more than twice through
in lefs than a Year, I fpent much Time every Day in fecret Pray-
er, and other fecret Duties ; I gave greatAttention to theWord
preached, and endeavoured to my utmoft to retain it : So mach
concerned was I about Religion, that I agreed with fome young
):^erfons to meet privately on Sabbath- Evenings for religious Ex-
crcifes, and thought my felf fincere in thefe Duties j and after
our Meeting w;is ended, I ufed to repeat the Difcourfes of the
Day to my felf, and recolle(£t what I could, tho' fometimes it
'•A'as very late in the Night. Again, on Mondoy- Mornings^ I ufed
fometimes to recolle6l the fame Sermons. And I had fometimes
tonfiderable Movings of AfFe(f^iQns inDuties,andmuchPieafure,
and had many Thoughts of joining to the Church. In (hort, I
had a very good outfide, and reftcd entirely qri my Duties, tho'
1 was not fenfibleof it.
After Mr. /"//^^'s Death, I proceeded in my Learning with-
niy Brother ; and was ftill very conftant in religious Duties, and
often wondered at the Levity of ProfefTors f 'twas a Trouble to
me, that they were fo carelcfs in religious Matters.-— Thiis I
proceeded a confiderable Length on ^ Jelf -right eons Foundation ;
and (bould have been entirely ioft and undpne,had not the mcer
Mercy of God prevented.
t Mr. Ftjk^e Wa? th? Pafhr of ^he Church in Haddam.
Mt, 2U 0/ Mr, David Brainerd. A.D. 1738. 5
Some Time in the Beginnine; of Winter, Jnno i738,itp]eafed
God, on one Sabbath-day Morning, as I was walking out
for Tome fecret Duties ( as I remember ) to give me on a Sudden
fuch a Senfcof my Danger and the Wrath of God, that I ftood
amazed, and my former good Frames, that I had pleafed royfelt
with, all prefently vani(hed ; and from the View, that I had of
my Sin and Vilenefs, I was much diftrefled all that Day, fear-
ing theVengeance of God would foon overtake me \ I was much
dejeded, and k?pt much alone, and fomstimea begrutched the
Birds and Beafts their Happinefs, becaufe they were not expofed
to eternal Mifery, as I evidently faw 1 was. And thus 1 lived
from Day to Day, being frequently in great Diftrefs : Sometimes
there appeared Mountains before me to obftruS my Hopes of
Mercy ; and the VVork of Converfion appeared fo great, 1
thought I (houid never be the Subjeft of it : But ufed, however,
to pray and cry to God, and perform other Duties with great
Earneftnefs, and hoped by fome Means to make theCafe better.
And tho* I Hundreds of Times renounced all Pretences of any
IVorih in my Duties ( as I thought ) even in the Seafon of tha
Perforniance of them, and often confefled to God that I defer v-
ed nothing for the wtry beft of them, but eternal Condemnation :
Yet ftill 1 had a fecret latent Hope of recommending my felf to
God by my religious Duties ; and when I prayed affedionately,
and my Heart feemed in fome Meafure to melt, I hoped God
would be thereby moved to pity me,my Prayers then look'd with
fomeAppearance oiGoodne/s in 'em,& I feemed to mourn farSln :
and then I could in fome Meafure venture on the Mercy of God
in Chrift ( as I tho*t ; ) Tho* the preponderating Thought and
Foundation of my Hope was fome Imagination of Goodne/s in
my Heart Meltings, and Flowing of AfFe6lions in Duty, and
( fometimes) extraordinary Enlargements therein, i^c. Tho' at
fome Times the Gate appearec} fo very /irait^ that it look'd iie^ft
to impoffible to enter, yet at other Times I flittered my felf that
it was not fo very difficult, and hoped I fbould by Diligence and
Watchfulnefs foon gain the Point. Sometimes after Enlarge-
ment in Duty and confiderable Affection, I hoped I had made a
good Step towards Heaven, and imagined that God was afFefled
as I was, and that he would hear fuch /mare Cries { as I called
them) and fo fometimes when I withdrew for fecret Duties in
greatDiflrefsjI returned fomething comfortable ', and ihusheal'd
my klf with my Duties,
Soiiiv
n-
6 j^L 22. r^ LIFE A. D. 1739;
Some Time in February 1738,9* I fet apart a Day for feeret
Fading and Prayer, and fpent the Day in almoft incefTant Cries
to God for Mercy, that he would open my Eyes to fee the Evil
of Sin, and the Way of Life by Jefus Chrift. And God was
pleafed that Day to make confiderable Difcoveries of my Heart
to me : But ftill I tru/ied'm all the Duties I performed ; tho'
there was no Manner of Goodnefs in theDuties I then performed^
there being no Manner of Refpedl to theGlory of God in them,
nor any fuch Principle in my Heart : yet God was pleafed 10
make my Endeavours that Ddiy^ a Means to (hew me my Help*-
lejmefs in fome Meafure.
Sometimes I was greatly encouraged^ and imagin'd that God
loved me and was pleafed with me, and thought I ftiould fooa
be fully reconciled to God ; while the Whole was founded on
nicer Prefumption^ aiifing from Enlargement in Duty, or FJow^
ing of Affections, or fome good Refolutions, and the like. And
xvhen, at Times, great Diftrefs began to arife, on a Sight of my
Vilenefs and Nakednefs, and Inability to deliver my felt from a
i'overeign God, I ufed to put off* the Difcovery, is what I could
not bear. Once, I remember, a terrible Pang of Diftrefs feized
nie, and the Thoughts of renouncing my Self, and ftanding
naked before God, ftripped of all Goodnefs, were fo dreadful
to me, that I was ready to fay to 'era as Felix to Pauly Go th^
TVay for this Time. Thus, tho' I daily long*d for greater Con-
vidion of Sin, fuppoung that I muft fee more of my dreadful
Slate in order to a Remedy, yet when the Difcoveries of my
vile hellifh Heart were made to me, the Sight was fo dreadful,
and fbewed me (o plainly my Expofednefs to Damnation, that
I could not endure it.—- I conftantly ftrove after whatever
^alificattGnSy I imagined others obtained before the Reception
of Chrift, in order to recommend me to his Favour. Sometimes
I felt the Power of an hard Heart, and fuppofed it muft be
foften^d before Chrift would accept of me ; and when I felt
any Meltings of Heart, I hoped now the Work was almoft
done : And hence, when my Diftrefs ftill remained, I was
wont to murmur at God's Dealings with me ; and thought,
when others felt their Hearts foftened, God (hewed them
Mercy : But my DiiU-efs remained ftill.
Sometimes I grew rem'ifi z^^jluggip), without any great Con-
vi£lians of Sin, for a confiderable Time together ; bux after
fuch a Seafon, ConviSliom fometimes feized me more violently.
One Night I remember in particular, when I was walking
i4>iit^rily Abroad, { had open'd to ins fuch a View of my Sin^that
I
'JEt.22: ^/ Mr. David Brainerd. A.D.1739; 7
I feared the Ground would cleave afunder under my Feet, and
become my Grave, and fend my Soul quick into Hell, before
i could get Home. And tho' I was forced to go to Bed left
my Diftrefs (hould be difcovcred by others, which I much
feared ; yet I fcarce durft Sleep at all, for I thought it would be
a great Wonder if I (hould be out of Hell in the Morning,
And tho' my Diftrefs was fometimes thus great, yet I greatly
dreaded the lofs of Convidions, and returning back to a State
of carnal Security, and to my former Infenfibility of impending
Wrath ; which made me exceeding exa6t in my Behaviour,
left I {hould ftifle the Motions of God's Spirit. When at any
Time I took a View of my Conviaions of my own Sinfulnefs,
and thought the Degree of 'em to be confiderable, I was wont
to truft in my Convidtions : But this Confidence, and the Hopes
that arofe in me from it, of foon making fome notable Ad-
vances towards Deliverance, would eafe my Mind, and I fooa
became more fenfelefs and remifs : But then again, when £
difcerned my Convi61ions to grow languid, and £ tho*t them
about to leave me, this immediately alarmed and diftre/Ted me.
Sometimes I expe<3ed to take a large Step, and get very far to-
wards Converfion, by fome particular Opportunity or Means
I had in View.
The many Difappointments, and great DiftrefTes and Per-*-
plexity I met with, put me into a moft horrible Frame of lon-^
tefiing with the Almighty; with an inward Vehemence
and Virulence, finding Fault with his Ways of Dealing with
Mankind. I found great Fault with the Imputation of AdanC%
Sin to his Pofterity : And my wicked Heart often wifhed for
fome other Way of Salvation, than by Jefus Chri/i : And being
iih the troubled Sea, and my Thdljghts confufed, { ukd to con-
trive to efcape the Wrath of God by fome other Means, and
had ftrange ProjecStlons, full of Atheifm, contriving to difappoint
God's Defigns and Decrees concerning me, or to efcape God's
Notice, and hide myfelf from him : But when, upon Reflec-
tion, I faw thefe Projections were vain, and would no^fcrvfc
niGi, and that I could contrive nothing for my own Relief, tb^
would throw my Mind into the moft horrid Frame, to wifh
there was no God, or to wifh there were fome other God that
could controul him, t5?c. Thefe Thoughts and Defires Were
the fecret Inclinations of my Heait, that were frequently
'■&€i\ng before 1 was aware 'y but alas, they were mine! AUho*
I was affrighted with them, when [ came to refle<5l on them :
When I coufidcred ©f it, it diftreilcd me, to chink, that mv
HeaTt
S JBl It. ri^ L I F E A.D. 17 j^:
Heart was (o full of Enmity againfl Gcd ; and it made mc
tremble, left God*s Vengeance fliculd fuddenly fall upon me*
I ufed before, to imagine my Heart was not fo bad, as the
Scriptures and fome other Books reprefchted. Sometimes £
wfed to take much Pains to work It up into a good Frame,
a humble fubmiflive Difpofition ; and hoped there was then
fomeGoodnefs in me : But it may be on a fuddenithe Thoughts
of the Stridnefe of the Law, or the Sovereignty of God, would
fo irritate the Corruption of my Heart, that I had fo watched
pver, and hoped I had brought to a good Frame, that it
would break over all Bounds, and burft forth on all SideSj
like Floods of Waters, when they break down their Damm.
But being fenfibleof the Neceffityof a deep Humiliation in
©rder to a faving Clofe with Chrift, 1 ufed to fet my felf to work .
in my own Heart ihokConvi^ionSy that were requisite in fuch an
Humiliation : As, a Conviction, that God would be juft, if he
caft me off for ever : And that if ever God (hould beftowMer-
cy on me, it would be meer Grace, tho* Ifhould be in Diftrefs
many Years firft, and be never fo much engaged in Duty 5 that
God was not in the leaft obliged to pity me the more for all paft
X)uties, Cries, and Tears, t^c. Thefe Things I flrove to my
iitmoft to bring my felf to a firm belief of, and hearty aiTentto ;
3nd hoped that now I was brought off from my felf, and truly
humbled and bowed to the divine Sovereignty 5 and was wont
to tell God in my Prayers, that now I had thofe veryDifpofitions
of Soul that he required, and on which he (hewed Mercy to
others, and thereupon to beg and plead for Mercy tome: But
when 1 found no Relief, and was ftill oppreffed with Guilt and
J ears of Wrath, my Soul was in a Tumult, and my Heart rofe
againft God, as dealing hardly with me. Yet then myConfcicncc
Hew in my Face, putting me in Mind of my late Confeffion t0
God of his Jufticein my Condemnation, t5fc. And this, giving
me a Sight of the Badnefs of my Heart, threw me again into
Diftrefs, and I wifhed I had watched my Heart more narrowly,
to keep it from breaking out againftGod*sDealings with me, and
1 even wifhed 1 had not pleaded for Mercy on Account of my
Humiliation, becaufe tiiereby 1 had loft all my feeming Good-
Thus, Scores of Times, I vainly imagined my felf humbled
and prepared for faving Mercy.
While 1 was in this diftrefl'ed, bewildered, and turaultuou*
State of Mind, the Corruption of my Heart was efpecially irri'^
taitd With ihcfc Things Mlowing ;
^/. 22." ^/ Mr. David Bralnerd. A.D.i
739-
1. The Jfrii^ne/i of the dmne Law, For I found it was im-
poffible for me (after my utmoftPains) to anfwer theDemands of
it. I often made new Refolutions, and as often broke them. I
imputed the whole to Carelefnefs, and the Want of being more
Watchful, and ufed to call my felf a Fool for my Negligence i
But wheM> upon a ftronger Refolution, and greater Endeavours,
and dole Application of my felf to Fafting and Prayer, I found
all Attempts fail, then I quarrelled with the Law of God, as
unreafonably rigid. I thought, if it extended only to my out-
Ward Adions andBchaviours, I could bear with it : But 1 found
it condemned me for my evil Thoughts, and Sins of my
Heart, which I could not pcflibly prevent. I was extreamly
loth to give out, and own my utter Helplefnefs in this Matter :
But after repeated Difappointments, thought that, rather than
perifh, I could do a little more ftill, efpecially if fuch and fuch
Circuiijftances might but attend my Endeavours and Strivings ;
I hoped, that I fhould ftrive more earneflly than ever, if the
Matter came to Extremity ( iho' I never could find the Time to
do my utm -H-jin the Manner I intended :) And this Hope of fu-
ture more favourable Circun^ftances, and of dojng fomcthing
great hereaiter, kept me /rem urterDefpair in my felf, and from
feeing my felt fallen into the Hands ot a fovereign Cjod, and
dependent on nothing but free and boundlefs Grace.
t. Another Thing was, that Faith alone was the Condition of
Salvation ; and that God would not come down to lowerTewns,
that he would not promife Life and Salvation upon my fincere
and hearty Prayers and Endeavours, That Word, Mark xvi. i6»
Hi that beiteveth not, /hall be damned^ cut ofF all Hope there :
And 1 found. Faith was the fovereign Gift of God \ that I
could not get it as of my felf, and could not obligeGod to beftow
it upon me, by any of my Performances. ( Eph. ii. i, & 8. )
l^his^ I was ready to fay, is a hard Sayings who can hear it ? I
could not bear, that all 1 had donelhould ftand for meer nothing,
who had been very Confciencious in Duty , and had been ex«
needing religious a great while, and had ( as f thought ) done
much more than many others that had obtained Mercy. I con*
fef^'d indeed the Vilenefs of my Duties ; but then, what made
'em at that Time feem vile, was my wandring Thoughts ire
them ; not becaufe { was all over cefiled like a Devil, and
the Principle corrupt from whence they flowed, fo that 1 could
not p'jffibly do any Thing that was Good. And thtreforc I
called wnat I did, by the Nime of honeft faithful Endeavcurs;
and could n^t b«ar it,tha<God had made ngPrgmifcs of Salvation
tOLifejja. C 3' Anoiber
to Ml 22: 21^^ L I F E A.D. 1739;
3. Another Thing was, that 1 could not find out what Fahh
was ; or what it was to believe, and come to Chriji, \ read the
Calls of Chrift, made to the weary and heavy laden ; but could
iind no J^f^ay^ that he dirc6led them to come in. I thought, I
would gladly come, if 1 knew hoWy tho* the Path of Duty
diredted to were never fo difficult. I read Mr. Stoddard's
Guide to Chriji (which I truft was, in the Hand of God, the
happy Means of my Converfion ) And my Heart rofe againft the
Author ; for tho* he told me my very Heart all along under
Convldions, and feem'd to be very beneficial to me in his Di-
redlions ; yet here he fail'd. He did not tell me any Thing I
could do, that would bring me to Chrift, but left me as it were
with a^ great Gulf between me and Chrift, without any Directi-
on to get through. For I was not yet effe6lually and experi-
mentally taught, that there could be no Way prefer ibed, where-
by a natural Man could, of his own Strength, obtain that which
is fupernatural, and which the higheft Angel cannot give.
4. Another Thing that I found a great inward Oppofition to,
was the Sovereignty of God. I could not bear, that it (Uould be
wholly at God's Pleafure, to fave or damn me, juft as he would.
That Pafiage, Rom.AX. 1 1 ,—23. was a conftant Vexation to me,
efpeclally /^^r//? 21. The reading or meditating on this always
deftroyed my feeming good Frames : When 1 thought I was
almoft humbled, and almoft refigned to] God*s Sovereignty, the
reading or thinking on this Pail'age would make my Enmity
againft the Sovereignty of God appear. And when I came to
rtfle<5t on my inv^ard Enmity and Blafphemy, that arofe on
this Occafion, I was the more afraid of God, and driven further
from any Hopes of Reconciliation with him ; and it gave me-
fuch a dreadful View of my felf, that I dreaded more than ever
jo fee myfcifinGod's Hands, and at his fovereign Difpofal, and it
tn^de me more oppofite than ever to fubmit to his Sovereignty j
for I thoui^ht God deHgned my Damnation.—
Ail this Time the Spirit of God was powerfully at work with?
ine ; and I was inwardly prcfTed to relinquifh ail Self- Confidence i"
pll Hopes of ever helping mv felf by any Means whatfoever :
if^nd the Convidion of my hji Eftatc was fometimes fo clear and
nianifcft before my Eyes, that it was as if it bad beer declared to
rne in* /o many Words, " 'Tis done, 'tis done, 'tis forever -im-
poiBble to deliver your felf. " For about three or four Days, thy
Soul was thus diftrefied, trpecially at fonie Turns, wji^- for at-
Monicnuifeenv^dito «)>''fdf l^ft an4 undone ^i^&trt tht-rt
'JEi,iz\ «/ M*. David Brainerd. A.D. 1739. n
Would ftirmk back immediately from the Sight, becaufe I dared
not venture my felf into the Hands of God, as wholly helplefs,
and at the Difpofal of his fovereign PJeafure. I dared not fee
that important Truth concerning my felf, That I was ^tW/«
TrefpaJJes and Sins, But when I had as it were thruft away thefc
Views of my felf at any Time, I felt diflrefled to have the fame
Difcoveries of my felf again ; for I greatly feared being given
overof God to final Stupidity. When I thought of putting it
off to a more convenient Seofon^ the Convi<5tion was fo clofe and
powerful with Regard f.o the prefent Time, that it was the
beft Time, and probably the only Time, that I dared not put it
ofF. It was the Sight of Truth concerning my felf, Truth \t('
pedling my State, as a Creature fallen and alienated from God,
and that confequently could makenoDemands onGod for Mercy,
but muft fubfcribe to the abfolute Sovereignty of the divine Be-
ing ; the Sight of the Truths I fay, my Soul fhrank away from,
and trembled to think of beholding. Thus, he that doth Evil (as
all unregenerate Men continually do ) hates the Light of Truths
i^either cares to come to it, becaufe it will reprove his Deeds, and
ftiew him his juft Deferts. ( Joh. iii.20.) And tho% ibme Time
before, I had taken much Pains ( as I thought ) to fubmit to the
Sovereignty of God, yet I miftook theThing ; and did not once
imagine, that feeing and being made experimentally fenfible of
this Truth, which my Soul now fo much dreaded and trembled
at a Senfe of, was the Frame of Soul that I had been fo ear-
neft in purfuit of heretofore : For I had ever hoped, that when
I had attained to that Humiliation, which I fuppofed neceflary to
go before Faith, then it would not be fair forGod to caji me off\,
but now I faw it was fo far from any Goodnefs in me, to own
my felf fpiritually dead, and deftitute of all Goodnefs, that, on
the contrary, my Mouth would be forever /?<?/> V by it ; and it
look'd as dreadful to me, to fee my felf,and the Relation I flood
in to God, as a Sinner and a Criminal, and he a great Judge and
Sdverei^n^ as it would be to a poor trembling Creature, to ven-
ture ofFfome high Precipice. And hence I put it off for a IVIi-j
nute or two, and tried for better Circumftances to do it in'iMji^
ther I muft read a PafTage or two, or pray fird, or f^methingof
the like Nature ; or elfe put ofF my Submiflion to God's Sove-
reignty, with an Objedion, that I did not know how to fubaiit;.
But the Truth was, I could fee no Safety in owning my felf m
the Hands of a Sovereign God, and that I could lay no Claim t@
7 Thing better than Damiiation.
C a P^^^
li muii. T/^^ LIFE A. D. 1-39:
But after a confiderable Time fpent in fuch Uke Exercifes and
Diftrefles, oneMorning, while I was walking in a folitary Place
as ufual, I at once faw that ail my Contrivances and Proje£lions
to effedt or procure Deliverance and Salvation for mv felf, were
utterly in vain : I was brought quite to a ft^nd, as finding my
felf totally loft. I had thought many Times before, that the
Difficulties in mv Way were very great : But now I faw, in ano-
ther and very different Light, that it was forever irnpoffible for
mc to do any Thing towards helping or delivering my felf. I
then thought of blaming my felf, that I had not done more, and
been more engaged, while I hadOpportunity ( fbr it feemed now
as if the Seafon of doing was forever over and gone ) But I in-
ftantly faw, that let me have done what ] would, it would no
more have tended to my helping my felf ; than what I had done ;
that I had made all the Pleas, 1 ever could have made to all
Eternity ; and that all my Pleas were vain. The Tumult that
had been before in my Mind, was now quieted ; and I was feme-
thing eafed of that Diftrefs, which I felt, while flruggling a-
gainfta Sight of my felf, and of the divine Sovereignty. I had
the greateft Certainty, that my State was forever miferable, for
all that i could do ; and wondered, and was almoft aftonifaed,
ihat I had never been fenfible of it before.
In the Time while I remainM in this State, my 'Notlom ref-
pc^ting my -D«//^;, were quite different from what I had ever
entertained in Times pafh Before this, the more I did in Duty,
the more I thought God was obliged to me ; or at leait the
more hard I thought it would be for God to caft me ofF ; ^ho
at the fame Time I confefled, and thought I faw, th^t tlieie was
no Goodnefs or Merit in my Duties : But now the morel did
in Pfaycr or any other Duty, the more I faw f was indebted to
God for allowing me to afk for Mercy ; For I faw, it was Sclf-
Intereft had led me to pray, and that I had never once prayed
from any Refpe(Sl to the Glory of God. Now 1 faw, there was
\\o neceffary Conne6iion between my Prayers and the Beftow-
iiiCnt of divine Mercy ; that they laid not the leaft Obligation
upon God to beflow his (jrace upon me ; and that there was
jio more Vertiie or Goodnefs in them, than there would be m
xny jy^ddling with my Hand in the Water ( which was the Com-
parifo.'i i had then in my Mind) and this becaufe they were not
performed frorn any Love or Regard to Cjod. I faw, that Ihad
been heaping up my Devotions before God, F^a fling. Praying c^j^^^
jtr^endin^, 4nd jnd^^d really thinking, at fome TimeSi that I
JEL2.1. r/ilfr. David Brainerd. A.D.1739. ^3
was aiming at the Glory of God ; whereas T never once truly
intended it, but only my own Happinefs. I faw, that, as I had
never done any Tb'xngfor God, I had no Claim to lay to any
Thing from him, but Perdition, on Account of my Hypocrify
and Mockery. Oh how different did my Duties now appear
from what they ufed to do ! I ufed to charge them with Sin and
Imperfcdtion ; But this was only onAccount of the Wandrings
and vain Thoughts attending them, and not becaufe I had no
Regard to God in them ; for this I thought I had : But when
I faw evidently that 1 had Regard to nothing but Self-Intereft,
then they appeared vile Mockery of God, Sclf-Worfhip, and a
continual Courfe of Lies ; fo that I (aw now, there was fome-
thing worfe had attended my Duties, than barely a few Wan-
drings &c. For the whole was nothing but Self-Worfhip and
an horrid Abufe of God.
I continued, as I remember, in this State of Mind, from Fri-
day-Morning 'till the Sabbath-Evening following, ya/y 1 2. 1739.
when I was walking again in the fame folitary Place where £
was brought to fee my felf loft and helplefs ( as was before men-
tioned j and here, in a mournful melancholy State, was attempt-
ing to pray ; but found noHeart to engage in that, or any other
Duty ; my former Concern and Exercife and religious AfFe<5li-
ons were now gone. I thought, the Spirit of God had quite left
me ', but ftill was not diftrefled : Yet difconfolate, as if there
was nothing in Heaven or Earth could naake me happy. And
having been thus endeavouring to pray (tho* being, as I thought,
very ftupid and fenfelefs ) for near half an Hour, (and by this
Time the Sun was about half-an-hour-high, as I remember )
then, as I was walking in a dark thick Grove, unfpeakable Glory
feemed to open to the View and Apprehenfion of my Soul : I
don't mean any external Brightnefs, for I faw no fuch Thing,
ijor do I intend any Imagination of a Body of Light, fome
where away in the third Heavens, or any Thing of thatNaturc ;
but it was a new inward Apprehenfion or View that I had of
(3OD, fuch as I never had before, nor any Thing which had rhe
leaft Refemblance of it. I flood flill, and wonder'd and ad-
mired ! I knew that 1 never had feen before any Thing com-
parable to it for Excellency and Beauty : It was widely different
from 2l]\ theConceptions,that ever I had had of God, orThings
•divine. I had no particular Apprehenfion of any one Pcrfonin
^e Trinity, cither the Father, the Son, or the Holy Gboft :
^'>i it appeared to be divm Gkry^ that I then beheld : Ahd my
S.oni
Soul rejoyced with Joy unfpeakable^ to fee fuch a'GoD, fuch a
glorious divine Being ; and I was inwardly pleafed and faiisfied,
that he fhould be God ever all forever and ever. My Soul was
fo captivated and dehghted with the Excellency, Loveliners,
Greatnefs, and other Ferfeflions of God, that I was even
fvtrallowed up in Him ; at lead to that Degree, that I had no
Thought ( as I remember) at ^r^, about my own Salvation,
and fcarce refleded there was fuch a Creature as my felf.
ThusGod, I truft, brought me to a hearty Difpofition to "-aft
htmy and fet him on the Throne, and principally and ultimately
to aim at his Honour and Glory, as King of the Univerfe.
I continued in this State of inv.'ard Joy and Peace, yet
Aftonifhment, 'till nearDark, without any fenfible Abatement,'
and then began to think and examine what I had feen ; and
felt fwcetly compofed in my Mind all the Evening following :
I fejt myfelf in a new World, and every Thing about me ap-
peared with a different Afpedl from what it was v/ont to do.
' At this Time, the IVay of Salvation opened to me with fuch
infinite Wifdom,Suitablenefs and Excellency, that I wondered
I fhould ever think of any other Way of Salvation ; was a-
liiazed, that I had not drop'd my own Contrivances, and com-
plied with this lovely blcfTdd and excellent Way before. If I
could have been faved by my own Duties, or any other Way
that I had formerly contrived, my whole Soul would now have
refufed. I wonder *d, that all the World did not fee and comply
with this Way of Salvation, intirely by the Right eoujnefs of
Chri/f,
The fweet Relifh of what I then felt, continued with me
f6r feveral Days, almoft conftantly, in a greater or lefsDegree :
I could not but fweetly rejoyce in God, lying down and ri-
fing up. The next Lords- Day I felt fomething of the fame
K-nd ; the' not fo powerful as before. But, not long after,"
was again involved in thick Darknefs.zi^d under great Diflrefs :
yet not of the fame Kind with my Diftrefs under Convidlions,
I was guilty, afraid and afhamed to come before God, was
exceedingly prefsM with a Senfe of Guilt : But it was not long
before I felt ( I truft ) true Repentance and Joy in God.
About the latter End of Auguft^ I again fell under great Dark-
nefs ; It feem'd as if the Prefence of God vtz^ clean gene forever*
Tho' I was not fo much diflreifed about my fpiritual State, as I
was at my being fhut out from God's Prefence, as I then.fenfi-
bly was. But it pleafed the Lord to return gracioufly to VM^
not long after. . • . : V ' ;
^/. 22,23. c/ Mr. David Brainerd. A.D.1739; '5
In the Beginning of Septmhrlwent to College %, and entred
there : But with Tome Degree of Reluaancy, fearing left I {bould
not be able to lead a Life of ftridt Religion, in the midft of (o
many Temptations After this, in the Vacancy, before I
went to tarry at College, it pleafed God (o vifu mv Soul with
clearer Manifeftations of himfelf and his Grace. I was fpending
fomeTime in Prayer, & Self-Examination ; and the Lord by his
Grace (o (hined into my Heart, that { enjoyed full Aflurancc
of hib Favour, for that Time ; and my Soul was unfpeakably
refrefhed with divine and heavenly Enjoyments. At this Time
efpecially, as well as fome others, fundry PafTages of God's
Word o^tii\^ to my Soul v/ith divine Clearnefs, Power and
Sweetnefs, foasto appear exceeding precious, and with clear
and certain Evidence of it's being the IVord of God. I enjoy'd
confiderable Sweetnefs in Religion all the Winter following.
In Jan. 1739,40. The Meapi fpread much in College ; and
I having taken theDiflempsr, went home to Haddam : But fome
Days before I was taken Sick, I feem'd to bs greatly deferted,
and my Soul mourned the Abfence of the Comforter exceeding-
ly : It feem'd to me, all Comfort was forever gone; I pray'd
and cried to God for H^Jp, yet found no prcfent Comfort or
Relief. But thro' divine Goodnefs, a Night or two before I
was taken III, while [ was walking alone in a very retired Place,
and engaged in Meditation and Prayer, I enjoyed a fweet re-
frefhing Vifit, as 1 truf}:, from above, fo that my Soul was raifed
far above the Fears oi Death y indeed [rather longed forDeath^
than feared it. O how much more refrefhing this one Ssafom
wa-, than all the Pleafures and Delights that Earth can afFjrd ]
After a D^y or two f was taken with the Meafles, and was very
111 indeed, fo that I almoit defpaired of Life: Bwt had no dif-
trefTinsj Fears of Death at all. However thro' divine Goodnef$
i foon recovered : Yet, by Reafon oi hard and clofe Studies, and
bemsj much expofed on Account of my Frefiiman-fhip, 1 had
but little Time for fpiritual Duties ; my Soul often mourned for
V/ant of more Time and Opportunity to be alone with God^
Iq the Spring and Summer following I h^d better Ao^van^age*
for Retirement, and enjoyed more Comfort m Religion,: ' Tho^
indeed my Ambition in mv Studies greatly wrongqd the Actr/|f<r
and Vigour of m* fpiritual Life : '^Yit this w.^is ufuaily the <^r«
vvnh me, that in the Multitude of my^htfughts within ?«>, tyid-^j.
Cc--^r^rfs onnclpiWy delighted my Scul : Thefc v/ere my grearcft
1' "^ i:>nsDay by Day.
C'.^i.le^c in Neix;- Haven. ®'i«
:x6 JEt. 23; 7£^ L I F E A. D. f 740?
One Day I remember in particular ( I think it was in Juni
1740. ) I walked to a confiderable Diftance from the College,
in the Fields alone at Noon, and in Prayer found fuch unfpeak-
able Sweetnefs and Delight in God, that I thought, if Imuft
continue ftill in this evil World, I wanted always to be there, to
behold God's Glory : My Soul dearly loved all Mankind, and
longed exceedingly that they fhould enjoy what I enjoyed.——
It feem'd to be a little Refemblance of Heaven.
On Lord's- Day, July 6. being Sacrament- Day, I found fome
divine Life and fpiritual Refrefhment in that holy Ordinance,
When I came from the Lord's Table, I wondered how my Fel-
low-Students could live as I was fenfible moft did Next
Lord's-Day July 13. I had fome fpecial Sweetnefs in Religion.—
Again Lord's-Day July 20. my Soul was in a fwect and preci-
ous Frame.
Sometime in Jugufl following, I became fo weakly and
difordered, by too clofe Application to my Studies, that I was
advifed by my Tutor to go Home, and difengage my Mind from
Study, as much as I could ; for I was grown fo Weak, that I
began to fpit Blood. I took his Advice, and endeavoured to lay
alide my Studies. But being brought very low, I look'd Death
in the Face more fted/aftly ; and the Lord was pleafed to give
me renewediy a fweet Senfe and Relifli of divine Things ; and
particularly in OSloher 13, I found divine Help and Confolation
in the precious Duties ot fecret Prayer and Self Examination,
and mySoultookDelight intheblefled God :— fo likcwifeon the
1 7 th of Oilober,
Sat ui day Oilober 18. in my Morning-Devotions, my Soul
was exceedingly melced for and bitterly mourned over my ex-
ceeding Sinfulnefs and P'ilenefs. I never before had felt fo pun-
gent and deep a Senfe of the odious Nature of Sin, as at thisTime,
My Soul was then unufual'y carry'd forth in Love to God, and
had a lively Senfe of God's Love to me. And this Love and
Hope, at that Time, caft out Fear. Both Morning and Even-
ing I rpent fome Time in Self-Examination, to find the Truih of
Grace, as alfo my Firnefs to approach to God at his Table the
next Day ; and through infinite Grace, found the holy Spirit
influencing my Soul with Love to God, as a Witneji within tny
f'<f-
Lord's-Day O^ober 19. In the Morning, I felt my Soul bun^
gring andihirjiing after RigbteouJnef\. In the Fore-Noon, while
I w^s lookin^i on the Sacramental Elements, and thinking that
y*/ui Chriji wculd focn h^Jet forth (rucijied before me^ my Soul
'Bt. 23^ of Mr] David Brainerd, A.D. 1 741: j ^
was fill'd with Light and Love, fo that I was almoft in an Ex-
tafy ; my Body was fo weak, I could fcarcely ftand. 1 felt at
the fame Time an exceeding Tendernefs and moft fervent Love
towards all Mankind ; fo that my Soul and all the Powers of
it fcemedj as it were, to melt into Softnefs and Sweetnefs.
But in the Scafon of theCommunion there was fomp Abatement
of this fweet Life and Fervour. This Love and Joy caft out
Fear { and my Soul longed for perfect Grace -ind Giory. This
fweet Frame continued 'till the Evening, when my Soul was
fweetly fpiritual in fecret Duties.
Monday, OSfober 20. I again found thefwect Affiftanceof the;
holy Spirit in fecret Duties^ both Morning and Evening, and.
Life and Comfort in Religion through the whole Day.
Tuefday, OSiober 21. I had likewifeExperience of thcGood-
nefs of God in Jhedding abroad his Love in my Hearty and giv-
ing me Delight and Confolation in religious Duties. And all
the remaining Part of the Week, my Soul*feemed to be taken
up with divine Things. I now fo longed after God, and to be
freed from Sin, that when ( felt myfelf recovering, and thought
I muft return to College again, which had proved (o hurtfuF
to my fpiritual Intereft theYearpaft, I could not but be grtcved^.
and 1 thought I had much rather have died ; for it diftrefs'd
me, to think of getting away from God. But before I went, I
enjoyed feveral other fweet and precious Seafons of Communioa
with God { particularly OSiober 30. and Nov* 4. ) wherein my
Soul enjoyed unfpeakable Comfort.
I returned to College about November 6. and through the
Goodncfs of God felt the Power of Religion almoft daily, lor
the Space of fix Weeks.
November 28. In my Evening- Devotion, I enjoyed precious
Difcoveries of God, and was unfpeakably refrefhed with that
PafTage Heb. xii. 22, 23, 24. That my Som\ longed to wing
away for the Paradi(e of God ; I longed to be conformed to
God in all Things.— A Day or two after, I enjoyed much
of the Light of God*s Countenance^ moft of the Day ; and jqtiy
Soul refted in God.
Tuefday, December 9. I was in a comfortable Frame of Soul
moft of the Day j but efpecially in Evening- Devotions, When
God was pleafed wonderfully to affift and ftrengthen me ; fo
that I thought nothing (hould ever move me from the Love of
God in Chriftjefus mvLord.— O ! one Hour with God infinite-
?y exceeds all the Plealurcs and Delights pf this lowef World.
■ ^ D Some-
18 y^/. 23,24- 2^*5 LIFE A.D. 1741 &? 174:^;
Sometime towards thelatterEnd oi January 1740,41. I %i^%
more cold and dull in Matters ^of Religion, by Means of my_
old Temptation, v\%. Ambition in my Studies.— But thro'
divine Goodnefs, a great and general Awakming fpread it felf
over the College, about the latter End of February ^ in which f
fyras much quickned,and more abundantly engaged in Religion*
[ This Awakening here fpoten of, was at fhe Beginning of
that extraordinary religious Commotion through the Land,
which is frefh in every one's Memory, This Awakening was
for a Time very great and general at 'New-Haven ; and the
College had no fmall Share in it : That Society was greatly re-
formed, the Students in general became ferious, and many of
them remarkably fojand much engaged in the Concerns of their
eternal Salvation. And however undefirable the IfTue of the
Awakenings of that Day have appeared in many others, there
have been manifeftly happy and abiding Effects of the Impreffi-
ons then made on the Minds of many of the Members of that
College. And by all that 1 can learn concerning Mr. Brainerd,
Ihcre can be no Reafon to doubt but that he had much of God 'a
gracious Prefence, and of the lively Ablings of true Grace, at
that Time : But yet he was afterwards abundantly fenfible, that
his religious Experiences and AiFetS^ions at that Time were not
/reefrom a corrupt Mixture, nor his Condu£l to be acquitte4
from many Things that were imprudent and blamcable ; which
jhe greatly lamented himfelf, and was willing that others fhould
forget, that none might make an ill Improvement of fuch anEx-
ample. And therefore altho' in the Time of it, he kept a con-
f^ant Diary^ containing a very particular Account of what
pafs'd from Day to Dny, for the next thirteen Months, froin
the latter End of ya/zz/^rj;, 1740,41. foremention'd, in two
fmall Books, which he callsd the two firft Volumes of hisDiary,
next following the Account before given of his Convictions,
Converfion, and confequent Comforts ; yet, when he lay on his
Death- Bed, he gaveOrder (unknown to me,'till after hisDeath)
that thefe two VoJumes ihould be deftroyed, and in the Begin-
ning; of the third Book of his Diary, he wrote thus, ( by th©-
Band of another, he not being able to write himfelf) ''I'he two
** preeceding Volumes, immediately following the Account of-
** the Author'sConverrion,are loft, li any are delirous SQ knov/
*' how the Author lived, in general, during that Space of.T|p[ie»
«* let them read the firft: ^thirty Pages of this Volume; :Wb«r^'
*^ they Will find fgmethins Qf a Spssiinjenof hisordio^fjj.Mar.-';
^/.23,24. fc/Mr.DavIdBrainerd.A.D.1741^1742. 19
^« ner of living, through that whole Space of Time, which waj
«« about 13 Months 5 excepting that here he was more rcfiiied
•' fromfome Imprudencies and indecent Heuis, than there ; but
*« the Spirit of Devotion running through the whole, was ths
V fame."
It could not be otherwife than that One whofe Heart had been
fo prepared and drawn to God, zs Mr, Bra insnfs had been,
•fliould be mightily enlarged, animated and engaged, at the Sight
of fuch an Alteration made in the College, the Town and Land,
and fo great an Appearance of Men's reforming theirLives, and
turning from their Profanenefs and Imniorality, to ^erioufnefs
and Concern for their Salvation, and of Religion's reviving and
fiourifliing almoft every where. But as an intemperate impru-
dent Zeal, and a Degree of Enthufiafm foon crept in, and ming'*
led it felf with that Revival of Religion ; and fo great and gene-
ral an Awakening being quite a new Thing in the Land, at leafl
as to all the living Inhabitants of it ; neitherPeople norMiniflers
had learn'd thoroughly to diftinguifh between (olid Religion an4
its delufive Counterfeits ; even many Miniftcrs of the Gofpel,
of long (landing and the beft Rejmtation, were for aTime over-
powered with the glaringAppearances of the latter : And there*
fore furely it was not to be wondered at, that young Braimrd^
but a Sopbimore at College, fhould be fo ; who was not only,
young in Years, but very young in Religion and J^xperience,
and had had but little Opportunity for the Study of Divinity,
and ftill lefs for Obfervation of the Circumftances and Events
of fuch an extraordinaryState of Things : AManmufldiveft him*
felf of allReafon, to make {l:ange of it. In thefe difadvantagious
Circumftances, 5r5/;z^r^ had the Unhappinefs to have aTinclure
of that intemperate indifcreet Zeal, which was at that Time toe*
prevalent; and was led, from his high Opinion of others ihac
he looked upon better than himfelf, into fuch Errors as were
really contrary to the habitual Temper of his Mind. One In-
ftance of his Mifcondudl at that Time, gave greatOfftnce to ths
Rulers of the College, even to that Degree that they expeil'^i
him the Society ; which it is neceilary (liould h6c be particular
ly related, with it's Circumftances.
In the Time of the Awakening at College, there wci - iw. > . u.
religious Students that afibciated themfelves one wit^ another'
for mutual Convcrfation and Affiftancc in fpirilual Thin
v;£ie want freely to open themfelves one to anotherj ■^- ,■
D 2 -^-
£0 ^V. 24." !ra<? LIFE *4.D. 1742:
an J intimate Friends : Bralnerd was one of this Company. And
it once happ»ii''o', that he and two or three more of thefe his
intimate Friends were in the Hall together, after Mr. Whittelpy,
one of 'he Tutors, had been to Prayer there with the Scholars ;
no other Pcrfon now remaming in the Hall, but Brainerd and
thefc his Companions. Mr. TVhittelfey having been unufually
pathetical in his Prayer, one of Brainerd^s Friends on this Oc-
cafion afked him what he thought of Mr. Whiitelf-ty \ He made
Anfvver, He has no more Grace than this Chair. One of the
Frefhmen happening at that Time to be near the Hall (tho* not
in the Room) over-heard thofe Words of his ; tho* he heard
no Name mention'd. and knew not who the Perfon was, which
was thus cenfured : He informed a certain Woman that belonged
to the Town, withal telling her his own Sufpicion, viz. that
he believ'd Brainerd faid this of fome one or other of the Rulers
cf the College. Whereupon fliewent & informed the Re6lor,
vvho Tent for this Frefhman and examined him ; and he told the
Ke£lor the Words that he heard Brainerd utter, and informed
h\xn who were in the Room with him at that Time. Upon
■u'hich the Redor fent for them : They were very backward to
jnform againft their Friend, of that which they look'd upon as
private Converfation, and efpecially as none but they had heard
or knew of whom he had uttered thofe Words ; yet the Re6lor
compelPd them to declare what he faid, and of whom he faid
at.-— Brainerd look'd on himfelf greatly abufed in the Manage-
ment of this Affair ; and thought, that what he faid in private,
•was injurioufly extorted from his Friends, and that then it was
5njurioufly required of him (as it was wont to be of fuch as had
teen guilty of fome open notorious Crime) to make a publick
<Jor.fefiion, and to humble himfelf before the whole College in
the Hall, for v/hat he had faid only in private Converfation.
lie not complying with this Demand, ?nd having gone once to
the feparate Wxttungzi New-Hwoen, when forbidden by the
Recf^or, and alfo having been accufed by one Perfon of faying
concerning the Re£lor, (hat he wondered he did not expert to
drop down dead for fining the Scholars who fol lowed Mr.7>««tf«/
to MUfcrcl^ tho* there was no Proof of it (and Mr. Brainerd
ever profefsM that he did noi remember his faying any Thing t^
that Purpofe) for thefe Things he was expcll'd the College.
Now, how far fhe Circumftances and Exigences of that Day
might julfify Aich great Severity in the Governors of theCollege,
I will not undertake to determine \ it being my Aim, not rpi
brin*
""JEt. 24: 0} Mr. David Braincrd, A.D. 1 742; 21
trlng Reproach on the Authority of the College, but only to do
Tuftice to the Memory of a Perfon who I think to be eminently
one of thofe whofe Memory is blejfed The Reader will fee,
in the Sequel of the Story of Mr. Brainerd's Life, J what his
own Thoughts afterwards were of hisBehaviour in thefeThings,
and in how Chriftian a Manner he conduaed himfelf, with Rcf-
pe£l to this Affair ; tho* he ever, as long as he lived, fuppofed
himfelf much abufed, in the Management of it, and in what
he fuffer*d in it.
His Expulfion was in the Winter Jnno 1741,2. while he waj
in his third Year in College.]
-5i=^.^
J Particularly under the Date, Wedn^fday^ Sept. 14. 174^.
»ISISi?1^2S^l^lISI§?^?'^^^2i^5^5^s?
PART
?SSS!SilS^2l^^^!S!Si?lll?SIS^^I§IS^^
i3 ^/. 24. Ti&5 LIFE A.D.I 742;
Part II.
From about the Time that he firji hega7t to
devote hiinf elf more efpecially tothe^tudy
of Divinity, "till he was examined and
lice7tfed to preach, hy the A^ociation of
Minifiers belonging to the Eaflern Dif-
triEi of the County of Fairfield in Con-
nedicut.
["M y|"R. Bralnerd, the spring after his Expulfion, went to
I V/1 Jive with the Rev, Mr. Mills of Ripton, to follow his
"^ -*• iStudies with him, in order to his being fitted for the
Work of the Miniftry ; where he fpenf the greater Part of the
Time 'till the AlToGiaiion licenfed him to preach ; but fre-
quently rode to vifit the neighbouring Minifters, particularly
^r. Cooke of Stratfieldy Mr. Graham of Soi^ihbury^ and Mr,
Bellamy of Bethlehem,
Here (at Mr. Midi's) he began the third Book of his DIary>
in which the Account he wrote of himfelf, is as follows.]
lliurfday, j4pril i, 1742. I feem to be declining withRefpefl
to my Life & Warmth in divincThings : Had not fo freeAccefs
"to God in Prayer, as ufual of late. O that God would humble
ine deeply in th« Duft before him. I deferve Hell every Day,
for net loving my Lord more, who has (I truft ) /oved me end
given himfelf for me ; and every Time I am enabled to exercife
anyGrace renewedlyj arn renewedly indebted to the God of all
Grace for fpecial AfTiflance. Where then is Boajiing ? Surely it
is exiluded, when we think how we are dependent on God for
the Being iind every A6t of Grace. Oh, if ever I get to Heaven,
it will be becaufe God will, and nothing elfe ; fori never did
any thing of my ff;lf, but get away from God ! My Soul will
be aftonifhed at the unfearchable Riches of divine Grace, when
I arrive at the Manfifi^s^ which the blelTed Saviour is gon« be- -
lore to prepare-
\PEt.2d,: <?/ 7.^r. David Braintrd. A.D.1742: 20
Friuay, y^pril 2. In the Afternoon I felt fomething fweetly
in fecret Prayer, much refigned, calm and ferene. What are all
the Storms of this lower World, if Jefus by his Spirit does but
come vjalking on the Seas ! — SomeTime paft, I had much Piea-
fure in the Profpcd of the Heathens being brought home to
Chrift, and defired that the Lord would improve me in that
Work : — But now my 5oul more frequently defires to die, to be
wtthChri/I. O that my Som\ were wrapt up in divineLove, and
my longing Defires after God increafed.— In the Evening, was
refrefh'd in Prayer, with the Hopes of the Advancement of
Chrift's Kingdom in the World.
Saturday, j^pril 3. Was very much amifs this Morning, and
had an ill Night lalt Night. I thought, if God would take me
to himfelf now, my 5oul would exceedingly rejoyce. O that J
may bs always humble and refign'd to God, and that God would
caufe my So\x\ to be more fix'd on himfelf, that I may be more
fitted both for doing and fufFering.
Lords-Day, Jpril 4. My Heart was wandring and lifelefs.--
In the Evening God gave me Faith in Prayer, and made my
Squ\ melt in fomeMeafure, and gave me to tafte a divine 5weetr
nefs.--- O my bleflcd God ! Let me climb up near \o him,
and love, and long, and plead, and wreftle, and reach, and
ftretch after him, and for Deliverance from the Body of Sin and
Death.—' Alas, my So\x\ mourn 'd to think I fhould ever lofe
-Sight of it's Beloved again ! O come^ Lord Jesus / Amen.
[On the Evening of x\\Qnexi Day, he complains that be
feem'd to be void of all Relifli of divineThings, felt much of the
Prevalence of Corruption, and faw in himfelf a Difpofition to
all Manner of 5in ; which brought a very great Gloom on his
Mind, and caft him down into the Depths of Melancholy j fo
that he fpeaks of himfelf, as aftoniflied, amazed, having no
Comfort, being filled with Horror, feeing no Comfort in Hea-
ven or Earth.
ruefday,y^r/7 6. I walked out thisMorning to the famePlace
where I was laftNight,and felt fomething as I did then ; But waa
fomething relieved by reading fome PaiTages in my Diary, and
feem'd to feel as iff might pray to the great God again with
Freedom ; but was fuddenly ftruck with a Damp, from the
Senfe I had of my own Vilenefs.-- Then I cryM to God to
V/afli my Soul and cleanfe me from my exceeding Filthinefs, tcj
give me Repentance and Pardon ; and it began to be feme-
thins fweef, to pray ;--- And I cculd think of undergoing the
grcatcft.
24 JE/.24: The LIFE :A.D.i742:
greateft Sufferings in the Caufe of Chrift, with Pleafure ; and
found my feU willing ( if God. (hould fo order it) to fufFcr Ba-*
niftiment from my native Land, among the Heathen^ that I
might do fomething for their Souls Salvation, in Diftrefles and
Deaths of any Kind.-— Then God gave me to wreftle earneftly
for others, for the Kingdom of Chrift in the World, and for
dear Chriftian Friends. — I felt wean'd from the World and
from my own Reputation amongft Men, willing to be defpiftd,
and to be a gazing Stock for the World to behold.— 'Tis im-
poflible for me to exprefs how 1 then felt : I had not much Joy,
but fome Senfe of the Majcfty of God, which made me as it
were tremble : I faw my felf mean and vile, which made me
more willing that God fhould do what he would with me 5 it
was all infinitely reafonable.
Wednefday, Jpril 7. I had not fo much Fervency, but felt
fomething as I didYefterday-Morning,in Prayer : — At Noon \
fpent fome Time in fecret, with fome Fervency, but fcarce any
Sweetnefs : And felt very dull in the Evening.
Thurfday, yipril 8. — Had raifed Hopes to Day refpc6ling
the Heathen, O that God would bring in great Numbers of 'em
to Jefus Chrift. I can't bu t hope I fhall fee that glorious Day .—
Every Thing in this World feems exceeding vile and little to
me : I look fo to my felf.-— I had fome littleDawn of Comfort to
toay in Prayer : But efpecially to Night I think I had fome
Faith and Power of Interceffion with God, was enabled to plead
with Qod for the Growth of Grace in my felf ; and many of the
T^ear Children of God then lay with Weight upon my Soul.
BlefTed be the Lord. 'Tis good to wreftle for divine Bleffings.
Friday, April 9. Moft of my Time in Morning-Devotion
was fpent without fcnfible Sweetnefs ; yet I had one delightful
Prcfpe(5t of arriving at the heavenly World, I am more amaz'd
than ever at fuch Thoughts ; for 1 fee my felf infinitely vile
and unworthy. I feel very heartlefs and dull ; and tho' I long
for the Prefence of God, and feem conftantly to reach towards
God in Defires, yet I can't feel that divine and heavenly Sweet-
nefs that I ufed to enjoy. --No poor Creature ftands in Need of
divine Grace more than I, and none abufe it more than 1 have
done, and ftill do.
Saturday, April 10. Spent much Time in fecret Prayer this
Morning, and not without fome Comfort in divine Things, and
I hope had fome Faith in Exercife : But am fo low, and feel fa
little of the fcnfible Prefence of God, that I hardly know what
^ocaiJ Faiih^ and am made rs> pojfefi th ^im of my Tmh, and
^/. 24- ^/ Mr. David Brainerd. A,D,iY\2. 25
the dreadful Sfh of my Nature, and am all Sin ; I can't think
hor aa, but every Motion is Sin. -- I feel fome faint Hopes*
that God willj of his infinite Mercy, return again withShowera
of converting Grace to poor Gofpel^abufing Sinners ; and my
Hopes of being improved in the Gaufe of God, which of late
have been almoft extindt, feem novv a little revived. O that
all my late Diftrcfles and avi^ful Apprehenfions might prove but
Chrift's School, to make me fit for greater Service, by learning
me the great Leflbn of Humility.
Lord's- Day, jlpril n. In the Morning, felt but little Life,
excepting that myHeart was fomething drawn out in Thankful-
nefs to God for his amazing Grace and Condefcenfion to me in
paft Influences and Affiftances of his Spirit. Afterwards had
ibme Sweetnefs in the Thoughts of arriving at the heavenly
World. O for the happy Day !— After publickWorfhip God
gave me fpecial AfTiftance in Prayer ; I wreftled with my dear
Lord) with much Sweetnefs ; and Interceffion was made a fwect
and delightful Employment to me. In the Evening, as I was
viewing the Light in the Norths was delighted in Contemplation
on the glorious Morning of the Rcfurredtion.
Monday, Jpril 12. This Morning the Lord was pleas'd to
lift up the Light of his Countenance upon me in fecret Prayer, and
made the Seafon very precious to my Soul. And tho' I have
been fo deprefs*d of late, refpccSling my Hopes of future Servi^
ceablenefs in the Caufe of God ; yet now I had much En-
couragement refpedting that Matter. I was fpccially afiifted
to interceed and plead for poor Souls, and for the Enlargement
of Chrift's Kingdom in the World, and for fpecial Grace for
my felf, to fit me for fpecial Services. I felt exceeding calm,
and quite refign'd to God, refpefting my future Improvement,
when and where he pleafed : My Faith lifted me above the
World, and removed all thofe Mountains, that I could not
look over of late : I thought I wanted not the Favour of Man
to lean upon ; for 1 knew Chrift's Favour was infinitely better,
and that it was no Matter tuhen^ nor where^ nor how Chrift
i^ould fend me, nor what Trials he (hould ftill cXcrcife me with>
if I might be prepared for hisWork&Will. I how found fweetiy
revived in myMind the wonderful Difcovery, of infinite Wifdotn
in all the Difpenfations of God towards me, which I had a lit-
tle before I met with my great Trial at College ; every Thing
appeared full of the iVifdom of God,
Tuefday, yfpril i j. Saw my felf to be very mean and vile |
w»ii^^ at thgft that ftewcd n^e R^^p^ft, Aft€rwar<is wat
•- ' - E " - ~ foma*
7. 6 JEl 24: Tbs LIFE A. D: i 742:
fomething comforted in fecret Retiremenf, and was afiifted t©
wreflle with God, with fome Power, Spirituality and Sweetnefs.
Bleflpd.be the Lord, he is never unmindjul oF me, but always
fends "me ne^ied Supplies, and from Time to Time, when I
am like one dead, raifes me to Life, O that I may never
diftrafl infinite Goodnefs.
Wednefday, /fpril 14. My Squ\ longed for Communion with
Chrift, and for the Mortification of indwelling Corruption, ef-
pecially fpiritual Pride. O (here is a fweetDay coming, wherein
the weary will he at Reji. My Soul has enjoyed muchSweetnefs
this Day in the Hopes of its fpeedy arrival.
Thurfday, Jpril 15. My Defires apparently centerM in
GoD> and I found a fenfible Attraction of Soul after him, fun-
dry Times to Day : I know / long for GOD, and a Conformity
to his Will, in inward Purity and Holinefs, tenThoufandTimes
mere than for any Thing here below.
Friday & Saturday, Jpril 16,17. Seldom prayed without
fome fenfible Sweetnefs and Joy in the Lord. Sometimes I
longed much io be dijfolved and to be with ChriJI. O that God
would enable me to grow in Grace every Day. Alas, my Bar*
rennefs is fuch, that God might well fay. Cut it down, — I am
afraid of a dead Heart on the Sabbath now begun : O that God
would quicken me by his Grace.
Lord's-Day Jpril 18. Retir'd early this Morning into the
Woods for Prayer j had the Afliftance of God's Spirit, and
Faith in Exercife, and was enabled to plead with Fervency for
the Advancement of Chrift's Kingdom in the. World, and to
interceei for dear abfent Friends. — At Noon, God enabled
me to wreftle with him, and to feel (as I trufl) the Power cf
divine Love in Prayer. --- At Night, faw my feif infinitely in-
debted to God, and had 'a View of my Short- comings : It
feem'd to me, that I b?,d done as it were nothing for God, and
that I never had lived to him but a few Hours of my Life.
Monday, j^prii 19. I fet apart this Day for Fafting & Prayer
to God for his Grace, efpecially to prepare me for the Work of
the Minijiry^ to give me divine Aid and Direction in myPrepa-
rations for that great Work, and in his own Time to fend me
into his Harve/i, Accordingly, in the Morning, endeavoured
to piead for the divine Prefence for the Day, and not without
fbme Life. In the Forenoon, I felt a Power of Interceffion for
precious immortal Souls, for the Advancement of the Kingdom
of my dear Lord and Saviour in the World ; and withal, amof^
fwcet Refi^natien, and evta CoiifolaiiQnand Jo^ in ifcc Tho'ts
Mt.i^: ^/Afr. David Brainerd. A.D.i;42. ij
of fuffcring Hardfhips, DlftrefTcs, and even Death it felf, in the
PfomotJonof it ; and had fpecial Enlargement in pleadine; for
the Enlightning and Converfion of tiie pour Heathen. .. \t\ the
Afternoon, God wa^ with me of a Truth. O 'twas ! blefled
Company indeed ! God enabled me fo to agonize in Prayer,
that I was quite wet with Sweat, tho' in the Shade, and the
Wind cool. My Soul was drawn out very much for theWarld -
I grafp'd for Multitudes of Souls. I think, I had more £nlarc;c-
ment for Sinners, than for the Children of God ; tho* I felt a^ if
I could fpend my Life in Cries for both. r*^njoyed great
Sweetnefs in Communion with my dear Saviour, i think, I
never in my ,Life felt fuch an intire Weanednefs from this
World, and fo much refignM to God in every Thing. — - O
that { may always live to^ and u^on my bleflcd God. Amen,
Amen.
Tuefday, Ap^il 20. This Day I am twenty- four Years of
Age. O how much M-ercy have T received the Year pafl ! —
How often has God caufed his Gosdnefs to pafs before me f And
how pooxly have I anfwered theVpws I made thisTime twelve-
month, to be wholly the Lord's^ to be forever devoted to hts
Service ! The Lord help me to live more to his Glory forTime
to come.-— This has been a fweet, a bappy Day to me : Bkfled
be God. I think, my Soul was never (o drawM out in Inter-
ceifion for tf/^^n, as it has been this Night. Had a moft fer-
vent Wreftlc with the Lord to Night for my Enemies ; and I
hardly ever fo longed to live to God, and to be altogether de-
voted to him ; I wanted to wear out my Life in his Service and
for his Glory.
Wednefday, /fpril 21. Felt much Calmnefs and Refignation,
and God again enabled me to wref^le for Numbers of Souls, and
had much Fervency in the fweet Duty of Interceflion. — I en-
joy of late more Sweetnefs in Intercejfion for others, than in any
other Part of Prayer. My bleiled Lord really l^c me come near
to hiaiy and plead with bim*
[Tbe Frame of Mind, and Exerclfes of Soul, that he ex-
preiTes the three Days next following, Tkurfday, Friday and
Saturday, are much of the fame Kind with thofe exprefs'^ the
two Days paft.]
LordVDay April 25. This Morning fpent about twoHou^ri
in fecret Duties, and was enabled more than ordinarily to a^^-
nizs for immortal Souls » ibo' it v^as early 'n\ the Mornir-ga^^^^
E % the
28 Ml IS. f^^ LIFE A. D.I 742:
the Sun fcarcely fhined at all, yet my Body was quite wet with
Sweat. Felt much prefs'd now, as frequently of late, to plead
for the Meeknefs and Calmnefs of thi L,amb of God in mySouI :
Thro* divine Goodnefs felt much of it this Morning. O 'tis
a fvveet Dlfpofition, heartily to forgive all Injuries done us ; to
wifli our greateft Enemies as well as we do our own Souls !
Blefledjefus, may I daily be more and more conformed to Thee.
At Night was exceedingly melted with divine Love, and had
fome feeling Senfe of the BlefTednefs of the upper World.
Thofe Words hung upon me, with much divine SweetnefsjPfal.
Ixxxiv. 7. They go from Strength to Strength^ every one of them in
Zion appear eth before God. O the near Accefs^ that God fome-
times gives us in our Addrefles to him I This may well be
tern[ied appearing before God : 'Tis fo indeed, in the true fpiritual
Senfe, and in the fweeteft Senfe.--— I think I have not had fuch
Power of Interceffion, thefe niany Months, both for God's
Children, and for dead Sinners, as I have had this Evening.
I wiftied and longed for the Coming of my dear Lord : I long'd to
join the Angelick Hofts in Praifips, wholly free from Imper-
fe^ion. O the blefTed Moment haftens ! All I want is to be
more holy, more like my dear Lord. O for Sandtifjcation f
My very Soul pants for the compleat Reftoration of the blefled
Image of my fweet Saviour ; that I may be fit for the blefTed
Enjoyments and Employments of the heavenly World,
Farewell, vain World ; 7/iy Soul can bid Adieu :
My Saviour'; taught me to abandon you.
Tour Char mi may gratify a fenfuai Mind ;
ISiot pieafe a Soul vu hotly for GoD deftgn'd.
Forbear i' entice, cesfe th^n my Soul to call':
'Tis fx'dj tbrctigh Grace ; my God Jhall be my AIL
While he thus lets me heavenly Glories vieWy
Tour Beauties fade^ my Heart'' s no Room for you.
The Lord refrefhed my Soul with many fwect Paflages ol
Lis Word. O the New Jsrufalem ! My Soul longed for it.
O the Song of Alofes and the Lamb ! And that blefTed Song,
that no Man can learn, but they that are redeemed from the
Earth ! And the glorioqs whits RobeSy that were given to ih^
Souls under the Altar J
Lord^ Pm a Stranger here alone ;
iliarth no true Comforts can afford :
Tet, ahjent from my deareji One,
My Soul delights to cry^ My Loid I
/£■/. 2S' c/Mr. David Bralnerd. A.D. 1742. 2^
Jesus, my Lord, my only Love,
Pojfefs my Soul, nor thence depart :
Grant me kind Vifits, heavenly Dove ;
My God Jhall then have all my Heart,
Monday, Jpril 26. Continued in a fweet Frame of Mind •
but in the Afternoon felt fomething of fpiritual Pride ftirring!
God was pleafed to make it a humbling Seafon at firft ; tho*
afterwards he gave me Sweetnefs. O my Soul exceedingly
longs for that blefTed State of Perfe6lion of Deliverance from
all Sin !-— At Night, God enabled me to give my Soul up to
him, to caft my felf upon him, to be ordered and difpofed of
according to his fovereign Pleafure ; and [ enjoyed great Peace
andConfolation in fo doing. My Soul took fweetDelight in God
to Night : MyThougbts freely and fweotly centred in him. O
that i could fpend every Moment of my Life to his Glory.
Tuefday,y^/)n7 27. Retir'd pretty early for fecretDevotions ;
and in Prayer God was pleafed to pour fuch ineffable Comforts
into my Soul, that I could do nothing for fome Time but fay
over and over, O my fweet Saviour ! O my fweet Saviour /
Whom have I in Heaven, but Thee f and there is none upon Earthy
that Idefire hefide Thee. If I had had a Thoufand Lives, mySouI
would gladly have laid 'em all down at once to have been with
Chrjst. My Soul never enjoyed fo much of Heaven befpre ;
'twas the moft refined and moft fpiritual Seafon of Communion
with God I ever yet felt : I never felt fo great a Degree of
Refignation in my Life : I felt very fweetly all the Forenoon. —
In the Afternoon I withdrew to meet v/ith my God, but found
my felf much declined, and God made it a humbling Seafon
to my Soul ; I mourned over the Body of Death, that is in
me : it grieved me exceedingly, that [ could not pray to
and praife God with my Heart full of divine heavenly Love.--"
O that my Soul might never offer any dead cold Services to my
(Sod, — In the Evening had not fo much fv/eet divine Love, as
in the Morning ; but had a fweet Seafon of fervent Inter cefjion,
Wednefday, April 28 Withdrew to my ufual Place of Re-
tirement in great Peace and Tranquillity, and fpent about two
Hours in fegretDuties. 1 itii much as I didYefterday-Morqing,
only \veaker and more overcome. I fecmed to hang and depend
wholly on my dearLord ; wholly wean'd from sll otherDepen-
dances. I knew not what to fay to myGod,bat only lean en his
^ojom, zsh were, & breathe out my Defircs after a perfedCon-
formity to him in ailThings. ThirilingDsfifes$cinfatiablcI»ong-
ii?gi
§€> mt. 25. nt LIFE A.D. 1 742;^
ings pofTcfled my Sou], after perfeflHolinefs : God was fo preci-
ous to my Soul, that the World with all its Enjoyments was in-
finitely vile : I had no more Value for the Favour of Men, than
for Pebbles : TTie Lord was my All ; and He over-ruled all ;
which greatly delightad me. I think, my Faith and Depen-
dance on God fcarce ever rofe fo high. I faw Him fuch aFoun-
tain of Goodnefs, that it feem'd impoffible I fhould diftruft him
again, or be any Way anxious about any Thing that fhould
happen to me* I now enjoyed great Sweetnefs in praying for
abfent Friends, and for the Enlargement of Chrift's Khigdora
in the World.— Much of the Power of thefe divine Enjoyments
remained with me thro* the Day.— In the Evening my Heart
feem'dfweetly to melt, & I auft,was really humbled for indwel-
ling Corruption, and I mourned like a Dove, 1 felt that all jny
Unhappinefs arofe from my being a Sinner ; for withRefignation
I could bid Welcome all other Trials ; but Sin hung heavy
upon me ; for God difcovered to me the Corruption of my
Heart : fo that I went to Bed with a heavy Heart, hecaufe I
was a Sinner ; tho' I did not in the leaft doubt of God's Love^
O that God would purge away my Drofs, and take away my Tin^
land make me feven Times refined.
Thurfday,y^/ir/i 29. Was kept off at aDiftance from Gojd j—
but had feme Inlargement in Interceflion for precious Souls.
Friday, Jpril 30. Was fomething dejected in Spirit : No-
thing grieves me fo much, as that I cannot live conftantly to
God*s Glory. I could bear any Defertion or fpiritual Confli<£ls,
if I could but have my Heart all the while burning within mi
with Love to God and Defires pf his Glory : But this is im-
poffible ; for when \feel thf fe, I can't be dejeded in my Soul,
but only rejoyce in my Saviour, who has delivered me from the
reigningPower, and will {hortly deliver me from the Indwelling
of Sin.
Saturday^ May j. Was enabled to cry toGod withFervency
for minifterial Qualifications, and that God would appear for
the Advancement of his own Kin^rdom, and that be would
bring in the Heathen World, &c. Had much Affiftance in my
Studies.— This has been a profitable Week to me ; I have en-
joyed many Communications of the bleffed Spirit in my Soul.
Loj-d's-Day, May 2. God was pleafed this Morning to give
iqc fuch a Sight of my felf, as made me appear very vile in my
own Eyes : I felt Corruption ftirring in my Heart, which I could
by no Means fupprefs : felt more and more dcferted : was ex--
cccdipg weak, and almoft Tick with my inward Trials.
Monday
i£'/. 25. of Mr. David Brainerd. A.D. 1 742: ^i^
Monday, Ma^ 3, Flad a Senfe of vile Ingratitude. In the
Morning I withdrew to my ufual Place of Retirement, and
mourned for my Abufc of my dear Lord : fpent the Day in
Fading and Prayer : God gave me much Power of wreftling
for his Caufe and Kingdom : And it was a happy Day to my
Soul. God was with me all the Day, and I was more above
the World, than ever in my Life,
[Through the remaining Part of this Week, he complains
almoft every Day of Defertion and inward Trials and Confli6ls,
attended with dejedlion of Spirit 5 but yet fpeaks of Times of
Relief and Swe^tnefs, and daily refrefhing Vifits of the divine
Spirit, afFording fpccial Alliftance and Comfort, and enabling, at
ibme Times, to much Fervency and Enlargement in religious
Duties.]
Lord*s-Day, iT/jy 9. I think, I never felt fo much of the
curfed Pride of my Heart, as well as the Stubbornnefs of my
Will before. Oh dreadful I what a vile Wretch I am ! I
could not fubmit to be nothing, and to lie down in the Duft \
Oh that God would humble me in the Duft. I fek my felt
fuch a Sinner, nil Day, that I had fcarce any Comfort. Oh,
when (hall I be delivered from the Body of this Death ! I greatly
fear*d, left thro* Stupidity and Carelefnefs I ihould lofe the
Benefit of thefe Trials. O that they might be fandified to
my Soul. Nothing feemed to touch me but only this, that f
was a Sinner. — Had Fervency and Refrefliment in fjcial
Prayer in the Evening.
Monday, May 10. Rode to A^^ty-iij^/^zr; fawfomeChriftian
Friends there ^ hadComfort in joining inPrayer with them, and
hearing of the Goodnefs of God to them fmce I laft faw them.
Tuefday, May ir. Ko^q Uom New- Haven XoPf^eat ben field -,
was very dull moft of the Day ; had litcle Spirituality in this
Journey, tho' I often longed to be alone with God ; was much
perplexed with vile Thoughts ; was fometimes afraid of every
Thing : But God was my Hdper,--' Catch'd a little Time for
Retirement in the Evening, to my Comfort and Rcjoycing.
Alas, I can't live in the midft of a Tumult ! I bng to enjoy
God alone.
Wedncfday, Ma^ 12. Had a diftreffing View of the Pride
and Enmity and ViJenefs of my Heart. — Afterwards bad fweet
Refrefliment IQ cgnverfingj 1% Wftri^'pping ^^^y withChriftian
T/jurfJay,
g2 Mt. 25. sra^ L I F E A.D: x74i?:
Thtirfday, May 13. Saw fo much of the Wickednefs of my
Heart, that I longed to get away from my felf. 1 never before
thought, there was fo much fpiritual Pride in my Soul : I felt
almoft prefs'd to Death with my own Vilencfs. Oh, what a
Body of Death is there in me ! Lord, deliver my SouL I eould
not find any convenient Place for Retirement, and was greatly
cxercifed.— Rode to Hartford in the Afternoon : had fomeRe-
frefhment and Comfort in religious Exercifes with Chriftian
Friends ; but longed for moreRetirement. O the clofefl Walk
ivithGod is the fweeteftHeaven,that can be enjoyM on Earth \
Friday, May 14. Waited on a Council of Minifters con-
vened at Hartford, and fpread before them the Treatment I had
met with from the Redlor and Tutors of Tale- College y who
thought it advifeable to interceed for me with the Re£tor and
Truftees, and to intreat them to reftore me to my former Pri-
vileges in College, t "-- After this, fpent fome Time in reli-
gious Exercifes with Chriftian Friends.
Saturday, May 15, Rode from Hartford to Hebron 5 was
fomething deje(^ed on the Road ; appeared exceeding vile in
my own Eyes, faw much Pride and Stubbornnefs in my Heart.
Indeed I never faw fuch a Week before, as this ; for I have
been almoft ready to die with the View of the Wickednefs of
i^y Heart. I could not have thought I had fuch a Body of Death
in me. Oh that God vv^ould deliver my SouL
[The three next Days (which he fpent at Helron, Lebanon^
and Norwich) he complains ftill of Dulnefs and Defertion, and
exprefies a Sciifc of his Vilenefs, and longing to hide himfelf in
ibme Cave or Den of the Earth : But yet fpeaks of fome Inter-
vals of Comfort and Soul-Refrefhment each Day.]
Wednefday, AJay 19, [At Millington] I Was fo amazingly
defertcd this iMoming, that I feem'd to feci a Sort of Horror
in my Soul. Alas, v^-hcn God withdiaws,what is there that cart
afford any Comfort to the Soul I
[Through the eight Days next following, he exprefTes more
Calmnefs and Ct ci'ort, and confiderable Likf Fervency and
Sweetnefs in Religion,]
f The Ap[!!icat;rrn which was then made 01? his Behalf, had
not the si^iircd Succcf*r
Ffidayj
:^/. 25. e?/ Mr*. David firaincrd A.D:i^42. 33
Friday, May 28. [At N^w-Haven-] I think, I fcarce ever felt
fo calm in my Life ; I rejoyced in Refignation, and giving
toy felf up to God, to be wholly and intirely devoted to him
forever.
f On the three folbwing Days, there was, by the Account
he gives, a ContinaanCe of the fame excellent Frame of Mind
!aft expreffed : But it feems not to be altogether to fo great
a Degree.]
Tuefday, Jafte i. Had much of the Prefence of God in
Family-Prayer,and had foitie Comfort in Secret. I was greatly
refrefhed from the Word of God, thisMorning, which appear'd
exceeding fweet to me : feme Things that appear'd myfterious,
were opened to me. O that the Kingdom of the dear Saviour
might come with Power, and the healing PFaters of the SanSfuary
fpread far and wide for the Healing of the Nations, — Came to
Ripton ; but was very weak : However, being vifited by a
Number of young People in the Evening, I pray'd with thera*
[The remaining Part of this Week, be fpeaks of being much
diverted and hindered in the Bufinefs of Religion, by great
Weaknefs of Body, and necefiary Affairs, that he had to at^-
tend, and complains of having but little Power in Religion j
But fignifies, that God hereby fhewed him, He was like a help-
lefs Infant caft out in the open Field.]
Lord's- Day, June 6. — I feel much defer ted : But all this
teaches me my Nothingnefs and Vilenefs more than ever.
Monday, June 7, Felt ftill powerlcfs in fecret Prayer.—
Afterwards I pray'd,and converfed, with fome little Life. God
feeds me with Ciumhs : BlefTed be his Name for any Thing.
I felt a great Defire, that all God's People might know how
mean and little and vile I am ; that they might fee I am nothing,
that fo they may pray for me aright, and not have the leaft
Dependance upon me.
Tuefdjy, June 8. I enjoyed one fweet and precious Seafon
this Day : I never felt it fo fweet to be nothing, and lefs than
nothing, and to be accounted nothing.
[The three ne^^t Days lie complains of Defertlon, and Wairt
of tcrvency in Religion 5 but yet his Diary fhews that every
Day his Heart was engaged in Rcligipn, as bis great and as it
were Qjily Bufhicfs.]
" - F Saturdaj'a
34
^/.25: "^ixi LIFE A.D.17^2:
Saturday, June 12. Spfent much Time in Prayer, thisMorn*
ing, and enjoyed much Sweetnefs : — Felt infatiable Longings
after God, much of the Day : 1 wonder *d how poor Souls do
to live, that have no God*— The World, with all its Enjoy-
ments, quite vanifhed. I fee my felf very helplefs : but I have
a blefled God, to go to. 1 long*d exceedingly to be dijfolvidy
and to be ivith Chri/i^ to behold his Glory, Oh, my weak weary
Soul longs to arrive at my Father's Houje !
Lor d's^ Day, June 13, Felt fomething calm and refigned in
the publick Worfliip : At the Sacrament faw my felf very vile
and worthlefs. O that I may always lie low in the Duft. My
Soul feemed fteadily to go forth after GOD, in longing Defires
to live upon him.
Monday, 'June 14., Felt fomething of the Sweetnefs of Com-
rnunion with God, and the con/iraining Force of his Love :
How admirably it captivates the Soul, and makes all the Defires
and AfFedtions to center m God I -— I fet apart this Day for fe-
cret Fafting and Prayer, to intreat God to diredl and blefs me
ivith Regard to the great Work I have in View, of Preaching
the Gojpei ; and that the Lord would return to me and /hew me
the Light of his Countenance, Had little Life and Power in the
Torenoon : Near the middle of the Afternoon, God enabled me
to wreftle ardently in Interceflion for abfent Friends:— But juft
at Night, the Lord vifited memarvelloufly in Prayer ; I think,
my Soul never was in fuch anAgony before : I feltnoReftrainC ;
for the Treafures of divineGrace were opened to me : I wreftled
for abfent Friends, for the Ingathering of Souls, for Multitudes
of poor Souls, and for many that I thought were the Children
oi God, perfonally, in many diftant Places. I was in fuch an
i^gony, from Sun half an Hour high, 'till near Dark, that I was
all over wet with Sweat ; but yet h feem*d to me that I had
nvaftcd away the Day, and had done nothing.. Oh, my dear
Jesus did yif^^f jS/W for poor Souls I I long for more Com-
paffion towards them.-— Felt ftill in a fweet Frame, under a
Senfe of divine Love and Grace ; and went to Bed in fuch a
J:^rame, with my Heart fet on God.
Tuefday, June 15. Had the moft ardent Longings after
God, that ever I felt m ray Life : At Noon, in my fecret Re-
;tirement, I could do nothing but tell my dear Lord, ia a fweet
Calm, that he knew 1 longed for nothing but Himfelf^ nothing
but HoUfiejs ; Thiit He had given me ihefe Defires, and He
'tnly could give me the Thing defired. I never feem*d to be fo
iinhin^Qd from my felf, and to be i"o wholly dcvol^d to God,
Mt. 25; «/ Mr. David Braincrd. A.D. 1742: 35
My Heart was fwallowed up in God, moft of the Day. In the
Evening Ihadfuch aViewof theSoul's being as it were enlarged,
to contain more Holinefs, that my Soul feem'd ready to feparatc
from my Body, and ftretch to obtain it. I then wreftled in an
Agony for divine Bleifings ; had my Heart drawn out in Prayec
for fomeChriftian Friends, beyond what I ever had before.— I
feel diiFerently novr from what evfer I did under any fweei En-
joyments before, more engaged to Uve to GOD for ever, and
lefs pleafed with my own Frames : I am not f^tisfied with my
Frames, nor feel at all more eafy after fuch fvveet Strugglings
than before ; for it feems far too little, iff could always be fo.
Oh, how fhort do I fall of my Duty in my fweeteli Moments !
[In his Diary for the two next Days, he expreiTcs ibmething
of the fame Frame, but in a far lefs Degree. *]
Friday, June 18. Confidering my great Unfitnefs for the
Work of the Minijiry^ my prefent Deadne/s, and total Inability
to do any Thing for the Glory of God tbatWay, feeling my idi
very helplefs, and at a great Lofs what the Lord would have me
to do^ I fet apart this Day for Prayer to God, and fptnt moft
of the Day in that Duty ; but amazingly deferted, moft of the
Day : yet I found God gracioufly near, cnce in particular,
while \ was pleading for more CompaiTion for immortal Souls,
my Heart feem'd to be cpen'd at once, and I was enabled ro cry
with great Ardency, for a few Minutes. ---Oh, I was diftrefs'd,
to think, that I fhould offer fuch dead cold Services to the living
God! My Soul feem'd to breathe after Holinefs, a Life of
conftant Devotednefs to God. But I am almoft lort ftmetimes
in the purfuit of this Bleffednefs, and ready to fink, bccaufe 1
continually fall fliort and mifs of my Defire. O that iheLoid
would help me to holdout, yet a littfe while, 'till the happy
Hour of Deliverance com&s.
Saturday, June 19. Felt much difordered ; my Spirits were
very low : but yet enjoyed fome Freedom and Sweetnefs in the
Duties of Religion. Bleffed be God.
* Here end the 30 firft Pages of the third Volume of his
Diary, which he fpeaks of in the Beginning of thisVolume
(as was obferved before) as containing a Specimen o# his
ordinary Manner of living, thro' the whole Space of Time,
kom iheBcginning of thofe two Volumes that were dcftroy'd.
° • F2 Lord's-
^^ G jEt. IS. «^ L I F E A.D; 1 742:
LordVDay, June 20. 5pent much Time alone.— My Soul
longed to be holy, and reach*d after God ; tut feem*(J not to
obtain my Defirc : I hungred and thirfted ; but was not fweetly
refrefh'd and fatisfied. My Som\ hung on God, as my cnljr
Portion. O that I could grow in Grace more abundantly
every Day.
[The nextDay he fpeaks of his having Afliftance ip his^tudiies^
^nd Power, Fervency and Comfort in Prayer.]
Tuefday, June 22. In the Morning, fpent abput twoHourg
in Prayer and Meditation, wlthconfiderable Delight. Towards
Night, felt my Soul go out in longing Defires after God, in fe-
cret Retirement. In the Evening, was fweetly compofed and
yefigned to God's Will ; was enabled to leave my felf and all my
Concerns with Him, and to have my whole Dependance upon
Him : mv fecret Retirement was very refrefhmg to my Soul ;
It appeared iuch a Kappinefs to have God for my Portion, that I
Jiad rather be any other Creature in this lower Creation, than
rot co.me to the Enjoyment of God : I had rather be a Beaft^
than a Man, without God, if I were to live here to Eterpity,
jLord, endear thy felf more to me.
[In his Diary for the next feven Days, he e^prefles a variety
of Exercifes of Mind : He fpeaks of great Longings after God
and Holinefs, and earnelt Defires for the Converfionof others^
of Fervency in Prayer, and Power to wreftle with God, and of
Compofure, Comfort and ^weetnefs, from Time to Time j
but exprefTes a Senfe of the vile Abomination of his Heart, and
bitterly complains of hii Barrenncfs, and the preifing Body of
Death ; and fays, he ^flw clearly, thai whatever he enjoyed^
petter than H^liy was free Grace : Complaips of his being e;j-
ceeding low, much below the Character of a Child of God s
and is fomeiiiTies very difconfolate and dgciSled.]
Wcdnefday, Jum 30. Spent this Day ^lone in the Woods,
|n Parting and Prayer ; underwent the molt dreadful Conflid^s
in my Soul, that ever I felt, in fome RefpeiSls : \ faw my felf (q
vile, that I was ready to fay, J Jhallnoiv perijh by the Hand of
Saul..-— I thought, and almoft concluded, I had no Power to
ifand for the Caufe of God, but was almoft afraid of the fl)aking
of a Leaf, Spent almoft the whole Day in Prayer, inceflantly..
I fGuU noi b-ar to think uf Chriftians (hewing me any |lcfpea-,
JE(. 2^. c/ iWr. David Brainerd. A.D.1742. oj
I almoft defpaired of doing any Service in the World : I could
not feel anyHope or Comfort,rerpe£ling the Heat hen ^whkh ufed
to afford me fome Refrefbment in the darkeft Hours of this Na-
^ture. I fpent away the Day in the Sitternefs of my Soul, Near
Night, I felt a little better j and afterwards enjoyed fome SweeV
nefs in fecret Prayer.
Thurfday, ^uly i. Had fomeSweetnefs in Prayer, this Morn-
ing.—Felt exceeding fweetly in fecreiPrayer toNi^ht,& dcfircd
nothing fo ardently as that GodJJioulddo with mejuji as hepieafed,
Friday, yuly 2. Felt compofed in fecret Prayer, in the Morn-
ing.— My Defires fweetly afcended to God this Ddy, as I was
travelling : and was comfortable in the Evening. BleiTed be
God for all my Confolations.
Saturday, ^uly 3. My Heart feemed again to fink. TheDif-
grace I was laid under at College, feemed to damp me, as it opens
the Mouths of Oppofers. I had no Refuge but in God only.
BlefTed be his Name, that I may go to Him at all Times, and
Jind him zprefent Help.
Lord's-Day, y«/y 4, Had confiderable A/fiftance. In theE-
vening, T withdrew and enjoyed a happy Seafon in fecretPrayer :
God was pleafed to give me the Esercife of Faith, and thereby
brought the invifible and eternal World near to my Soul ; which
appeared fweetly to me. I hoped, that my weary Pilgrimage in
the World would be Jbirt, and that it would not be long before
I was brought to my heavenly Home and Father'sHoufe : I was
fweetly refigned to God's Will, to tarry his Time, to do his
Work, and fufFer his Pleafurc I felt Thankfulnefs to God for
all ray prcffing Defertiom of late ; for I am perfwaded, they
liave been made a Means of making me more humble, and mtich
more refign'd. I felt pleafed, to be Uitlej to ht nothing, and vt
fie in the DujL I enjoy'd Life and fweet Confolation in plead-
ing for the dear Children of God, and the Kingdom of Chrift
in the World : and my Soul earneftly breathed afterHolinefs and
the Enjoynient of God. Q com Lor4 Je^us ! Gome quickly*
Amen.
[ By his Diary for the remaining Days of this Week, it appears
that he enjoyed confiderable Compofure and Tranouillity, and
had Sweetnefs and Fervency of Spirit in Prayer, Irom Day to
Lords-Day, Jul^ 11. Was deferted ahd exceeding dejeaed \n
the Morning. — In theAfternoon, had fome Life and AfTiflance^
fh^ii fsit refigticd ; I favy "^^ ^?lf cxceediflg vile^
'38 ^/. 25. r^^LlFE A.D.i74i;
fbn the two next Days he exprefTes inward Comfort, Refig^
nation, and Strength in God.]
Wednefday^ya^ 14. Felt a Kind of humble refigned Sweet-
nefs : Spent a confiderable Time in Secret, giving my felf up
wholly to theLord.— Heard Mr. Bellamy preach, to wardsNighl:
felt very Sweetly, part of the Time : Longed for nearer acctfi U
God.
[The four next Days, he exprefTes confiderable Comfort and
Fervency of Spirit in ChriftianConverfation and Religious Exer-
cifes. ]
Monday, July ig. My Defires feem efpecially to be carried
out after Wcanednefs from the Worlds perfe£t Dead nefs to it, and
to be even crucified to all its Allurements. My Soul longs to feel
it uilf more of a Pilgrim and Stranger here below ; that nothing
may divert me from preffing through the lonely Defart, 'till I
arrivj at my Father's fioufe.
Tuefday, July 20. It was fweet, to give away my felf toGoD,
to bedifpofed of at his Pleafure ; and had fome feeling Senfe of
the Sweetnefs of being a Pilgrim en Earth.
[The nextDay,he exprefleshimfelf as determined to be wholly
devoted to God ; and it appears by his Diary, that ho fpent the
whole Day in a moft diligent Exercife of Religion, and exceed-
ing comfortably,]
Thurfday, July 22. Journeying from Southbury to Ripiotty
called at aHoufe by the Way, where being very kindly entertain'd
and refiefh^d, I was fiU'd with Amazement and Shame, that
God fliould (tir up the Hearts of any to fhew fo much Kindnefs
to ftch a dead Dog as 1 ; was made ferdible, in fome Meafure,
how exceeding vile it is, not to be wholly devoted to God. I
wcnder'd, that God would fufFer any of his Creatures to feed and
fuftain me, from Time to Time.
[ In his Diary for the fix next Days, are expreffed various
Exercifes and Experiences, fuch as fweet Com pofu re and Fer-
vency of Spirit in Meditation and Prayer, Weanednefs from the
World, being fenfibly a Pilgrim and Stranger on the Earth,
Engagednefs of Mind to fpend every Inch of Time forGod,^^.]
I'hurfday, July, 29. Was examined by the Aflbciation met
at Danbury^zs to my Learning, and alfomy Experiences^ Re-
ligion, awd received a Licence from them to preach the (Jrofpel
of Chrift.--- Afterwards felt much devoted to God ; join'd in
Prayer with one of the Minifters, my peculiar Friend, in a
convenient Place 5 went to Bed refolving to live devoted toGod
all my Days.
pari;
^/.2j.- e/Afr. David Brainerd, AD. 1742: 3^
Part III.
mmmm
From the "Time of his being licenfed to preachy
by the Affociation, '//// he was examined
in New- York, by the Correfpondents or
CommiJJioners of the Society in Scotland
for propagating Chriflian Knowledge^
and approved and appointed as their
Miflionary to the Indians.
FRiday, July ^O- 1742. Rode from Danhury to Southhury ;
Preach'd there from iPet.'w. 8. Had much of the comfor-
table Prefence of God in the Exercife : 1 feem'u to have
Power withGod in Prayer, and Power to get hold of the Hearts
of the People in Preaching.
Saturday, July 31. Exceeding calm and compafed, and was
greatly refrefhed and encouraged.
[ It appears by his Diary, that he continued in this Sweetnefs
and Tranquillity, almoft through the whole of the next Week.]
Lord's-Day, Jug. 8- In the Morning felt comfortably in fe-
cret Prayer ; my Soul was refrefh'a with the Hopes of the Bia-
//^^«j coming home to Chrifl ; was much refigned to God, f
thought it was no Matter what became of me. — Preacn'd both
Parts of the Day at Bethlehem, from Job xiv. 14. It was fweet to
me to meditate on Death. In the Evening, felt very comforta-
bly, and cried to God fervently, in fccret Pra}cr.
[ It appears by his Diary, that he continued thro' the three
nexiDays, engaged with all his Might in the Bufinefs of Religi-
gn, and 1-n almoft a conflant Enjovmeut of the Comfoits of 11.]
Thu'fday
io ^/. 25. ^16^ L I F E . A.D. 1 742:
Thuifday, v^/zfJ^y? 12. This Morning and laft Night was ex-
ercifed with fore inward Trials : I had no Power to pray ; but
Icemed (hut out from God. I had in a great Meafure loft mf
Hopes of God *s fending me among the Heathen afar off, and
of feeing them fl ck home to Chrift. I (aw fo much of my hellifh
Vilenefs, that i appeared worfe to my felf, than any Devil : I
wonder'd, that God would let me live, and wondered that Peo-
ple did not ftone me, much more, that they would ever hear me
preach f It feem'd as tho' I never could nor fhould preach an)?
more, yet about 9 or 10 o'Clock, the People came over, and I
was forced to preach : And blefied be God, he gave me his Pre-
fenceand Spirit in Prayer and Preaching : So that I was much
aflifted, and fpake with Power from Job xiv. 14. 5orne Indians
cry'd out in great Diftrefs, * and all appeared greatly concerned.
After We had pray'd and exhorted them to feek the Lord with
Conftancy, and hired an EngUfh Woman to keep a Kind of
SchooUmong them, we came away about one o'Clock,and came
to y«<^^fi, about 15 or 16 Miles, There God was pleafed to vifk
my 5oul with mi^h Comfort. BlelTcd bt the Lord for allThings
Imect with.
[ It appears, that the two next Days he had much Comfort^
and had his Heart much engaged in Religion. J
Lords"Day, Jugu/i 13. Felt much Comfort and Devotednefs
to God this Day. At Nigbt, it was refreftiing, to get alone with
GoD and pour out my Soul. O, who can conceive of the Sweet-
nefs of Communion with the blefled God, but thofe that have
Experience of it f Glory to God forever, that I may tafte Hea-
ven below.
Monday, J^ugujl 16. Had fome Cornfort in fecret Prayer, \n.
the Morning :-- Felt fweetly fundry Times in Prayer this Day :
But was much perplexed in the Evening with vain Converfation*
Tuefday, Auguft ij. Exceedingly deprefs'd in Spirit, It cuts
and wounds my Heart, to think how much Self- Exaltation^Spi"
ritual Pride^hUaynith cf Temper ^\ \\zsz formerly had interming'-
led with my Endeavours to promote (jod's Work : And fome-
times! long to lie down at the Feetof Oppofers,and confcfs what
a poor imperfe£l: Creature 1 have been and ftill am.-- Ob, the
* It was in a Place near Kent^ in the Wefiern Borders of Con-
ihcje is a N'jniberof /-T.'/ijv;.
Mt. 2S. <?/ Mr. David Brainfrd. A.D.1742. 41
Lord forgive me, and make me for the iMi\xrtioife as a Serttnt
and harmlefi as a Dove. — Afterwards enjoy 'd confiderab^e Com-
fort and Delight of Soul.
Wednefday, Auguft 18. Spent moft of this Day in Prayer and
Reading.— I fee fo much of my own extrcam Vilenefs, that I
feel afhamed and guilty before God and Man : I look, to my
fclf, like the vileft Fellow in the Land : \ wonder, that God ftirs
up his People to be fo kind to me.
Thurfday, Auguft 19. This Day, being about to go from
Mr. Bellamy*s at Buhlehem^ where I had refided fome Time,
prayM with him, and two or three other Chriftian Friends, and
gave our felves to God with all our Hearts, to be his for ever :
Eternity looked very near to mc, while I was praying. If I
never fhould fee thefe Chriftians again in this World, it feem*d
but a fewMoments before I fhould meet *em in another World.—
Parted with them fweetly.
Friday, Auguji 20. I appeared fo vile to my felf,that I hardly
dared to think of being feen, efpeciaily on Account of fpiritual
Pride. However, to Night, I enjoyed a fweet Hour alone with
God [at Ripton] I was lifted above the Frowns and Flatteries of
this lower World, had a fweet Relifh of heavenly Joys, and my
Soul did as it were get into the eternal World, and really tafte
of Heaven. I had a fweet Seafon of IntercefTion for dearFriends
in Chrift ; andGod helped me to cry fervently for Zion, BlefTed
be God for this Seafon.
Saturday, Auguft 21. Was much perplex'd,in iheMorning.—
Towards Noon enjoyed more of God in fecret, was enabled to
fee that it was beft to throw my felf into the Hands of God, to
be difpofed of according to his Pleafure, and rcjoyced in fuch
Thoughts. In the Afternoon, rode to New- Haven ; was much
confufed all the Way. — Juft at Night, underwent fuch a dread*-
ful Confli£l, as I have fcarcc ever felt. I faw my felf exceed*
ing vile and unworthy ; fo that I was guilty, and afhamed, that
any Body (hould beftow any Favour on me, or flicw me any
Refpea.
Lord's- Day, AuguJ} 22. In the Morning, continued ftill
in Perplexity.— In the Evening, enjoyed that Comfort that
feemM to me fufficknt to ovcr-ballance all my late DiftrelTcs.
I faw, that God is the only Soul-fatisfymg Portion, and I really
foand Satisfadion in him : My Soul was much enlarged in
fweet Interceflion for my Fellow-Men every where, and for
m^ny Chriftian Fri^^iids, in particular, in diftant Places.
G Monday,
42 >€/. 2 5. TheAAFE A.D.f742;;
*
Monday, Auguji 23. Had a fweet S^afon in fecret Prayer V
The Lord drew near.tp my Soul, and filled me with Peace arf^
divine Confolation. O, my Soul tafted the Sweetnefs of th<S
upper World \ and was fweetly drawn out in Prayer for tiie
World, that it mig^t eome home toChrift ! Had much Comfert
in the Thoughts and Hopes ^^ the In^a5l>ering of the Heathtn }
^as greatly aflided in loiereeiTion for Chriftjan Friends.
[He confirjued ft ill in the fame Frame of Mind the next Day,
but in a leiier Degree.]
Wednefday, j^ugu^ 2^. In Family-Prayer, God helped me
to climb up Hear Him, fo that I fcarce ever got nearsr.
[The four next Days, he appears to have been the SubjecEl
of Defertion, and of Comfort and Fervency in Religion, inter-
changeably, together with a Seafe of Vilenefa and Unprofita-
blenels.]
Monday, Auguft 30. Felt fomething eomfortably in the
Morning ; converfed fweetly with fome Friends ; was in a fe-
tious campofed Frame ; pray'd at a certain Houfe with fome
Degree of Sweetnefs. Afterwards, at another Houfe, pray'd
pi'ivately with a dear Chriftian Friend or two ; and I think, I
fcarce ever launch'd fo hx into the eteraal World, as then ; I
got fo far out on the broad Ocean, that my Soul with Joy tri-
umphed over all the Evils on the Shores of Mortality. I think.
Time and ail its gay Amufements and cruel Difappointments,
rievcr appeared fo inconfiderable to me before : I was in a fweet
Frame ; I h^ my felf nothing, and my Soul reach'd after
(7013 with intenfe Defire. O f I faw what I owed to God, in
fuch a Manner, as I fcarce ever did : [ knew, ( had never lived
a Moment to him, as I Ihould do : Indeed It appeared to me, I
bad never done any Thing inChrif^ianity ; My Soul longed with
a vehement Defire to Uvs to GOD. ---In the Evening, fung and
pray'd with a Number of Chriltians : Felt thi Powers of the
fi'jrU to corns, in my Soul, in Prayer, AJterwarfe's prayed again
p'ivaiely, wi'h a dear Chri(!ian or two, and found the Prefenee
<>f (loi ; was fomething humbled in my fecret Retirement ;
frh my Ingratitude, bccaufc I vv23 not wholly fwaliowed up in
rj U was in a fvvcct Frame great Part of the next Day.]
^/. 25. ^/ Air. David Brainerd. A.D.1742. ^.
• ^i^/^%' f'!^''":^' \:" ^^'"^ *^> ><^'^^ to the Ordina-
tion oiUv. Judd. Dear Mr. BelUmy pieach'd from Matth.
XXIV. 46. 5/f^^ is that Servant iffc. I felt very folemn, and
very fweetly, njoftof the T/me ; had my^Tnoughts much on
thuTime when 6ur Lord will conje-, that Time refrefhed my
Soulmuch ; only I was afraid, 1 fliould not be found faithful^
becaufe I have fo vile a Heart. My Thoughts were much in
Eternity, where I love to dwell. Hleffed be God for this fo-
Jemn Seafon.-— Rode home to Might with Mr. Bellamy ; felt
fomething fweerly en the Road ; converfed with fome PMen-Js
'till it was very jale, and then retir<;d to Reft in a comfotiiible
Frarae.
Thurfday, Septemher 2. About two in the Afternoon, I
preach'd from John vi. 67. And Godaffifted ms in fome com-
fortable Degree ; but more efpecially in my fir ft P/ ay cr ; my
Soul feemed then to liunch quite into the eternal World, and
to be as it were feparated from ihis lower World.-— Afterwards
preach'd again from Ifaiah v. 4. God gave me fome Afiiftancci
But I faw my felf a poor Worm.
f On Friday, September 3. He complains of having but little
Life in the Thingsof God, the former Part of tin: Day, but af-
terwards Tpeaks of Swcetnefs and Enlargembcnt. J
Saturday, September /\.. Much out of Health, and exceedingly
deprefa'd in my Soul, and was at an awful Diftar.cefrom God.— -
Towards Night, fpcnt fome Time in profitable Thoughts on
Rem. viii. 2.-— Near Night, had a very fweet Seafon in Prayer ;
God enabled me to wreftle ardently for the Advancement of the
Redeemer's Kingdom ; pleaded earneftly for my own dear Bro-
ther John^ that Ciod would make him more of a Pilgrim and
Stranger on theEarth, and lie him for fingular Serviceablenefs in
the World ; and my Heart fweeily exulted in the Lord, in the
Thoughts of anyDiftrefi'es that might alight on him or me, in ihc
Advancement of Chrift^s fCingdom. — *Twas a fweet and com-
fortable Hour unto my Soul, while I was indulged Freedom to
plead, not onlv for my k\i^ but for many other Souls.
Lord's-Day, Septemher c. Preach'd all Day : was fomething
ftrengthen'd & aftifted in the Afternoon j more el^jecially ii) the
Evenmg: had a Senfe of my unfi^eakable Short-comings in all
my Duties. 1 found, alas ! that I had never lived to Gop «n
ms Life, ' . , ,'
(2 1 Uoi\^^yi
44
JEl 25, ne L IF E A. D. 1742:
Monday, Septemh. 6. Was informed, that they only waited
for an Opporturiity to apprehend me for Preaching at Ntw-Ha^
ven lately, that fo they might impriibn me : This made me more
folemn and ferious, and to quit all Hopes of the World's
Ffiendfliip : It brought mc to a further Senfe of my Vilenefs,
and juft Defert of this, and much more, from the Hand of God,
tho* not from the Hatid of Man : Retired into a convenient Place
in the Woods, and fpread the Matter before God.
Tuefday, Septemb. 7. Had fome Relifh of divine Things in
the Morning. Afterwards felt more barren and melancholy.
Rode to Niw-Haven^to a Friend *s Ho«fe at a Diftance from the
Town ; that I remain undifcovered, and yet have Opportunity
to do Bufmefs privately with Friends, which come to Com"
inenament*
Wednefday, Septemh. 8. Felt very fweetly, when I firft rofc
in the Morning. In Family-Prayer, had fome Enlargement, but
not much Spirituality, *till Eternity came up before mc and look'd
near ; I found fome Sweetnefs in theTboughts of bidding a dying
Farewell to this tirefbm World : Tho' fometime ago I reckoned
upon feeing my dear Friends at Commencement ^ yet being now
denied the Opportunity, for fear of Imprifonment, I felt totally
refign'd, and as contented to fpend this Day alone in the Woods,
as I could have done, if I had been allowed to go to Town. Felt
exceedingly vvean*d from the World to Day.—- In the Afternoon
difcourfed fomething on fome divineThings with a dearChriftian
Friend, whereby we were both refrefhed. Then I pray'd,
with a fweet Senfe of the Bleflednefs of Communion with God :
I think, I fcarceevcr enjoyed more of God in any one Praver,
O it was a blell'ed Seafon indeed to my Soul ! I knew not that
ever I faw fo much of my own Noihingnefs in mv Life ; never
wondered fo, that God allowed me to preach his Word ; nevex
was fo aftoni(he<i as no'A^.--This has been a fweet and comforta-
ble Day to my Sou! ; BlefTed be God.— Pray'd again with my
cear Friend, with forr>ething of the divine Prefence.— I long to
he wholly conformed to God, and transformed into his Image.
7'hur(day, Septemh, 9. Spent much of the Day alone : En-
joyed the Prefence of God in fome comfortable Degree : wa«
vilited by fome dear Friends^ and pray'd with them : Wrote
fundry f^etters to Friends ; felt Religion in my Soul while writ-
ing : Enj jyed fome fweet Meditations on fome Scriptures.—- In
the Eve.iing, went very privately into Town, from the Place of
myReriJciice at iheFarms,and converfed with fome dearFriends j
fftit fwe«;ly mi fmging Hynins with them j and made wy Efca^te
^/. 25- «/-Wr, David Brainerd. A.D.1742. 4^
to the Farms again, without being difcovered by any Enemies,
as I knew of. Thus the Lord preferves me continually.
Friday, September 10. Longed with intenfe Defire after God :
ray whole Soul feem'd impatient to be Conformed to him, and
to become Moly^ os he is Holy,— In the Afternoon, pray'd with
a dear Friend privately, and had the Prefence of God with us ;
our Souls united together to reach after a blefled Immortalitv to
be unclothed of the Body of Sin and Deathy and to enter the
blefled World, where no unclean Thing enters. O, with what
intenfe Defire did our Souls long for that blefled Day, that we
might be freed from Sin, and forever live to and in our God !—
In the Evening,took leave of thatHoufe ; But firft kneel'd down
and prayed ; The Lord was of a Truth in the midji of us ; 'twas a
fweet parting Seafon ; felt in my felf much Sweetnefs and Affec-
tion in theThings of God. BleflTed be (3od for every fuch divine
Gale of his Spirit, to fpeed me on in my Way to the New-Jerw
faletn ! — Felt fome Sweetnefs afterwards, and fpent theEvening
in Converfation with Friends, and pray'd with fomc Life, and
retired to Reft very late.
[The five next Days, he appears to have been in an exceeding
comfortable, fweet Frame of Mind, for the moft Part, and
to have been the Subjed of the like heavenly Exercifes as are
often exprefled in preceeding Paflages of his Diary ; fuch as hav-
ing his Heart much engaged for God, wreftling with God in
Prayer with Power andArdency, enjoying atTimes, fweet Calm-
nefs and Compofure of Mind, giving himfelf up to God to be h\\
forever, with great Complacence of Mind, being wholly refigned
to theWill of God, that God might do with him what he pleafed,
longing well to improve Time, having the eternal World as it
were brought nigh, longing after God and Holinefs, earneftly
dcflring a compleat Conformity to him, and wondriiig how poor
Souls do to exift without God. J
Thurfday, September 16. At Night, felt exceeding fweetly :
Enjoyed much of God in fecret Prayer : Felt an uncommonRefig-
nation J to ^^and </<?whatGod pleafed. SomeDays paf}, I (tk great
Perplexity en Account of my paft Condudt : My Bitter nef>^ a«d
Want of Chriftian Kindnefs andLove,has been very dijlrejftng to
my Soul : The Lord forgive me my unchriJiianfVarmth,?ind wane
®f a Spirit of Meekncfs.
#
[The
46 JEt. 25. Us LIFE A. D. 1 74^.
[ The next Day, He fpeaks of much Refignation, Calmncfs
2.nd Peace of Miod, and Dear Views of the eternal Wo^-ld. ]
Saturday, Septemb. i8. Felt fome Compaffion for Souls, and
mournM I had no more. I feel much more Kindnefs, Meek-
i\c(sy Gerrtlenefs and Love towards all Mankind, t*han ever. I
long to be at theFeet of my Enemies and" Perfecutors . Enjoyed
fome Sweet ncfs, in feeling my Soul conformed to C/jriti Jefus^
and given away to him forever, in Prayer to Day.
[ The next Day, he fpeaks of much Dcjc£^ion and Difcou-
ragemerU, from an Apprehenllon of his own Unfitnefsever to do
any Good in Preaching ; But blefTes God for all Difpenfations of
Providence andGrace ; finding t^at by all God wean'd him more
from the World, and made him more refign'd.
The next ten Days, he appears to have been for the moft Part
under great Degrees of Meiancholy, exceedingly dejeiled and
difcouraged ; fpeaks of his being ready to give up all for gone
refpetSting the Caufe of Chrift, and exceedingly longing to
di^ : Yet had fome fweet Seafons and Intervals of Comfort, and
rpecial Afliftance and Enlargement in the Duties of Religion,
and m performing publick Service?, and confiderable Succefs in
them. ]
Thurfday, September 30. Stil! very low in Spirits, and did not
know how to engage in any Woik or Bufmefs, efpecially to ccr^
7e£f form Diforders among Chrifliam ; felt as tho' I had noPower
«lo be faithful in that Regard. However towards Noon, preach'd
ixowi Deut. viii. 2. And was enabled with Freedom to reprove
fome Things in ChrifHans Condud:, that I thought very unfuiia-
ble and irregular i irii<(ied near two Hours on this Subjed.
[ Through this, and the two following Weeks, he pafTed
through a Variety of Exercifes : He was frequently deje6led,and
felt inward DiftreJles \ and fometimes funk into the J(^epths of
Melancholy : At which Turns, he was not exercifed about the
State of his Soul, wi^h Regard to the Favour of God and his In-
tcrcft \x\ Clirirt, b'Jt about his own finful Infirmities, and unfitnefs
for God'? Srrvire. Ifis Mind appears fometimes extremely de-
prefb'd and funk with a Senfe of inexprefiible Vilenefs. But in
ihe mean Time, he fpeaks of many Seafons of Comfort and fpiri-
lual Rerrefiimcnt, wherein hisHeart was encouraged and ftrcngth*-^
p^d in Qodj and fwcrily refignecj to his VVjlIj and of fome^j^
Seafons
yg"/. 2 5. " ^/ Mr. David Brainerd. A,D. 1742. 47
'Seafons of very'Mgh Degrees of fpiritual Confolation, and of his
,great Longings alter Holinefs ind Conformity to God,of hb
'great Fear of oftending God,of hisHeart's being Tweetly melted
•in religiousDulifcs,ofhis longing for theAdvancement ofChrift's
'Kingdom, and of his having at fome Times much Affiftance in
Preaching, and of remarkable Effect's on the Auditory. ]
Lords- Day, OSiob. 17. Had a confiderable Senfeof my Help*
'lefnefs and Inability ; faw that I mufl be dependent on God for
ail I want ; and efpecially when I went to the Place of publick
Worfhip ; I found I could not fpeak a Word for God without
his fpecial Help and AiEflance : I went into the Aflem-bly trem-
bling, as I frequently do, under a Senfe of my InfufHciency to
do any Thing in the Caufe of God, as I ought to do.-— But it
pleafed God to afford me muchAffiftance, and there feem'd to be
a confiderable Effect on the Hearers.— In the Evening, I felt 3
Difpofiiion to praife God for his Goodnefs to me, in fpecial, that
he had enabled me in foms Meafure to be faithful ; and my So j2
rejoyced to think, that J had thus performed the Work of one
Day more, and was oneDay nearer my eterna!,and ( I truft ) my
heavenly Home. O that 1 might be faithful to the Deaths ful"
filling a: an Hirslkng my Day^ 'till the Shades of the Evening of
Life {hall free my houl from the Toils of the Day ! This Even-
ing, in fecret Prayer, I (elt exceeding folcmn, and fuch longing
Defires after Deliverance from Sin, and afterConformity toGody
as melted my Heart. Oh, I longed to be delivered from this Body
vf Death ! I felt inward pleafing Pain, that [ coald not be con-
formed toGod entirely, fully and forever.— I fcarce ever preach
without being firft vifsted with inward ConfliiSlswnd fore Trials,--
BleiTed be the Lord for thefe Trials and Di'Ax&iXQs, as they arc
blefs'd for my humbling.
Monday, OSfob, 18. Fn the Morning, felt fome Sweetnefs,
but ftill prefs'd thro' fome Trials of Soui. My Life Is a con-
ftant Mixture of Confjlations and Confiids, and will befo 'till
arrive at the World of Spirits.
Toefday, OSioher 19. This Morning and laft Ni^ht, felt a
fweet Longing in my Soul after Holinefs : My Soul feem'd fo
to reach and ftretch towards the Mark of perfedi San^iiy, that
it was ready to break with Longings.
Wcdnefday, OSlober 20. Exceeding im'irm in Body,exerC:rcd
ith much Pain, and very lifelefs in^diviae Things. -- ¥tU a
tic Syjreetnefs m the Even if»g. _. .,
ThurfJ.^v
C
4S Mt. 25; r*^ L I F E A»D. 1742;
Thurfday, OSlohtr 21. Had a very deep Senfc of the Vanity
of the World, moftof theDay j had little more Regard to it,
than if I had been to go into Eternity the next Hour. Thro'
divine Goodnefs, I felt very feriOus and folemn. O, I love to
Jive on the Brink of Eternity, in my Views and Meditations !
This gives me a (weet, awful and reverential Senfe and Apprc-
henfion of God and divine Things, when I fee my felf as it
Vf^refiand'ing before the yudgment^Seat (^f Chrift.
Friday, Oiioher 22. Uncommonly weaned from the World
to Day ; My Soul delighted to be a Stranger and Pilgrim oh
the Earth : I felt a Difpofition in me never to have any Thing
to do with this World : The Charafter given of fome of the
ancient People of God, in Heb, xi, 13, was very pleafing to me,
flhey confejjed that they werePilgrims tff Strangers on the Earthy by
iheir daily Pra<5lice ; and O that I could always do fo 1
Spent fome confiderable Time, in a pleafant Grove, in Prayer
and Meditation. O it is fweet, to be thus wean'd fromFriends,
and from my felf, and dead to the prefent Wojld, that (q I
may live wholly to and upon the blefTed God ! Saw my felf
little, low, and vile, in my felf.— -In theAfternoon, preach'd at
Beihteheniy from D^ut. viii. 2. and felt fweetly both in Prayer
and Preaching : God helped me to fpeak to the Hearts of
dear Chriflians. BlefTed be the Lord for this Seafon r I truf^,
they and I fhail rfjoyce on thisAccount to all Eternity.— Dear
Mr. Bellamy came in, while I was making the firftPrayer ( being
returned Home from a Journey) and after Meeting, we walked
away together, and fpent the Evening in fweetly coverfmg on
divineThings,and praying together, with fweet and tender Love
to each other, an«i return'd to Reft with our Hearts in a ferious
spiritual Frame.
Saturday, O^ob. 23. Something perplexed and confufed.
Rode this Day from 'Bethlehem to Sim/bury.
Lord's- Day, O^fZi?/'. 24. Felt fo vile and unworthyjthat I fcarcc
knew how to converfe with human Creatures.
Monday, O^ober 25. [At Turkey- Hills ^'\ln the Evening en-
joyed the divine Prefcnce in fecret Prayer : It was a fweet and
comfortable Seafon to me : A^y Soul longed forGod^ for the living
Cod : Enjoyed a fweet Solemnity of Spirit, and longing De-
fire after the Recovery of the divire Image in my Soul : Then
Jhall I befaii^fied^whm 1 Jhall cziah in GOD's Likenejs^ and ne-
ver before.
Tuefoay, OSlcher 26. [At IVefl-Suffield,'] Underwent the
moll dfcadful Diftreffes,under a S^jifewl my gwnUflvVorlhinefs fl
a
mt, IS. c/ Mr. David Brainerd. A.D.1742. ^9
It feem'd to me, I deferved rather to be driven out of the Place
than to have any Body treat me with any Kindnefe, or come to
bear me preach. And verily my Spirits were fo dcprefs'd at
this Time, as well as at many others, that it was impoffible I
fhould treat immortal Souls with Faithfulnefs : I could not deal
clofely & faithfully with them, I felt fo infinitely vile in myfelf.
Oh, what Duft andJ/hes I am, to think of preaching theGofpel
to others ! Indeed,! never can be faithful for oneMoment,but
(hall certainly daub with untempered Mortar^ if God don't grant
me fpecial Help.- In theEvening, I went to the Meeting-Houfe»
and it look'd to me near as eafy for one to rife out of the Grave
and preach, as for me. However, God afforded me feme Life
and Power, both in Prayer and Sermon : God was pleafed to
lift me up, and fhew me that he could enable me to preach.
O the wonderful Goodnefs of God to fo vile a Sinner !— Re-
turned to my Quarters ; and enjoy'd feme Sweetnefs in Prayer
alone, and mourn'd that I could not live more to (iod.
Wednefday, OSfober 27. Speot the Forejioon in Prayer and
Meditation : Was not a' little concerned about Preaching in the
Afternoon : Felt exceedingly without Strength^ and very helplefs
indeed : Went info the Meeting-Houfe, afbamcd to fee an/
come to hear fucb an unfpeakably worthlefs Wretch. However,
God enabled me to fptak with Gearnefs, Power, & Pungency,
But there was fome Noife and Tumult in the Aflembiy, that I
did not well like, and endeavoured to bear publick Teftimony
againft, with Moderation and Miidnefs, through the Current of
my Difcourfe.-"ln the Evening, was enabled to be in fomeMea-
fure thankful and devoted to God.
[The Frames and Exercifes of hisMind, during the fcur next
Days, were moftiy very Similar to thofe of the two Days paft ;
excepting Intervals of confiderable Degrees of divine Peace anci
Confolation.
The Things exprefs'd within the Space of the three following
Days are fuch as thefe ; fome Seafons of Dejection, mourning
for being fo dcflituce of the Exercifes of Giace, longing to be
delivered from Sin, preffing after more of God, Seafons of fweet
Confolation^ precious and intimate Converfe with God in fecret
Prayer, Sweetnefs of Chriftian Converfation &c.'-- Within this
Time he rode from Suffiddto Eajibury^ Hebron^ and Lebanon.}
Thurfday, Novmh. 4. [At Lebanon. J Saw much of my
Nothmgnel's, moft of ihisDdy ; bac felt CtfiiCerned Ui^t I had no
H more
50 JEt.25. "The LIFE A.D.1742.
more Senfe of my rnfufiiciency k Unv^orthincfs. O 'tis fwect
lying in theDuJi ! But 'tis diftrefling,to feel in my Soul thatHell of
Corruption, which ftill remains in me.— In theAfternoon, had a
Senfeof theS\yeetnefsof a ftri<£t clofe & ConftantDcvotcdnefs to
God,& raySoul was comforted with theConfolations of God ; my
Soul felt a pleafing, yet painfulConcern, left I (bould fpend fome
Moments without God. O may I always live to God. — In the
Evening, was vifited by fome Friends, and fpcnt the Time hi
Prayer and fuch Converfation as tended to our Edification. It
was a comfortable Seafon to my Soul : I felt an intenfe Defire
to fpend every Moment for God. — God is unfpeakably graci-
ous to me continually : In Times paft, he has given me inex-
prellible Sweetnefs in the Peiforipance of Duty : Frequently my
Soul has enjoyed much of God ; but has been ready to fay,
Lord^ 'tis good to be here ; and To to indulge Sloth, while I have
lived on the Sweetnefs of my Feelings. But of late, God has
been pleafed to keep my Soul ^tt»^ry,aImoft continually ; fo that
1 have been filPd with aKind of a pleafingPain : When I really
enjoy God, I feel mv Defires of him tlie more infatiable, and
ray Thirftings after Holinefs the more unquenchable ; and the
Lord will not allow me to feel as tho' I were fully fupplied and
fatisfied, but keeps me liill reaching forward 5 and I feel barren
and empty, as tho* I could not live, without more of God in
me ; 1 feel afhamed and guilty before God. Oh, I fee, theLaw
is /f>iritual, but I am carnal / I don't, I can't live to God.
Oh for Holinefs I Oh for more of God in my Soul ! Oh this
pleafing Pain ! It makes my Soul prefs after God ; the Lan-
guage of it is, Then /hail I be fatisfied ^ when 1 awah in GOD's
Likeneji (Pfal. xvii, ult.) but never, never before : and confe-
quently 1 am engaged to prefi toward the Mark^ Day by Day.
O that I may feel this continual Hunger^ and not be retarded,
but rather animated by every Clutter from Qanaan^ to reach for-
ward in the narrow Way, for the full Enjoyment andPofleflion
of the heavenly Inheritaoce. O that I may never loiter in my
heavenly Journey.
[ Thefe infatiable Defires after God and Holinefs continued
the two next Days, with a great Senfe of his own exceeding
Unworthinefs, and the Nolhingnefs of the Things of thi$
World.]
Lord's-Day, Novemb. 7. [At Alillington.] It feem'd as if
fuch an unholy Wretch as I never could arrive at thatBleflcdnefs,
to be holy y as Gfdis holy. At Nooji,I longed for San^ti&ation,
and
Mi. 25. of Mr. David Brainerd. A.D.1742. 51
and Conformity to God. Oh, That Is the All, the All !
The Lord help me to prefs afUr GOD for ever.
Monday, Novemb. %. Towards Night, enjoyed muchSwect-
nefs in fecret Prayer, fo that my Soul longed for an Arrival in
the heavenly Country^ the blcfled Paradife of God. Thro* divine
Goodnefs, I have fcarce feen the Day, for two Months, but
Death has looked fo pleafant to me at one Time or other of the
Day, that I could have rejoyced the prefent {hould be my lajf^
notwithftanding ray preiling inward Trials and Confli6^s : And I
trufl, the Lord will finally make me a Conqueror, and more than
fo ; that I (hall be able to ufe that triumphant Language, O
Death, where is thy Sting ! And 0 Grave, where is thyVi^ory !
[Within the next ten Days, the following Things are cx-
prefs'd ; Longing and wreftling to be holy and fo live to God ;
9 Defire that every fingle Thought might be for God ; feeling
guilty, that his Thoughts were no more fwallowed up in God ;
fweet Solemnity and Calmnefs of Mind, Submiflion and Refig-
nation to God, great Weanednefs from the World, Abafement
in the Duft, Grief at fome vain Converfation that wasobferved,
SweetnefsJ from Time to Time in fecret Prayer and in con^
verfing and praying with Chriftian Friends. And every Day he
appears to^iave been greatly engaged in the great Bufmefs of
Religion and living to God, without Interruption.]
Friday, Novemb. 19. [Kt New- Haven'] ReceivM a Letter
from the Rev. Mr. Pembertonoi New- Tor i, d^Cinng me fpee-
dily to go down thither, and confult about the Indian Affairs in
thofe Parts, and to meet certain Gentlemen there, that were
intruded with thofe Affairs : My Mind was inftaritly fei^'d with
Concern ; fo I retired with two or threeChriftian Friends, and
prayed ; and iadeed it was a fweet Time with me ; I was ena-
bled to leave my felf an,d all my Concerns with God 3 and taking
Leave of Friends, I rode to Ripton,^ znd was comforted in an
Opportunity to fee and converfe with dear Mr. Mills.
[ In the four next foUowingDays, he wasfometimes opprefa'd
with the Weight of that great Affair, about which Mr. Pem^
berton had written to him ; but was enabled fromTime toTime
to cajl bis Burden en the Lord, and to commit himfelf and all his
Concerns to him : And he continued flill in a Senfe of the Ex*
cellency of Holinefs, and Longings after it, and earneftDefires
Of theAdvaneement of Cbrift'sKingdom in iheWgrld i and had
52 JEt.is- Thelul^K A.D.1742;.
from Time to Time fweet Comfort in Meditation and
Prayer.]
Wear.efday, Novemb, 24. Came to New-Tork ; felt ftill
much concerned about the Importance of my Bufmefs ; put up
many earncft Requefts to God for his Help and Dire<5tion ; was
coniufed with the Noife and Tumult of the City ; enjoyed but
little Time alone with God ; but my Soul longed after Him.
Thurfday, Novemh, 25. Spent much Time in Prayer and
Supplication : VVas examined by fome Gentlemen, of my
Chrittian Experiences, and my Acquaintance with Divinity,
and fume other Studies, in order to my Improvement in that
important/XfTair of Gofpeliizing the Heathen ; || Was made
fenfible of my great I^jnorance and Unfitnefs for publick Ser-
vice : I had the moft abafing Thoughts of my felf, I think, that
ever I had ; I thought ray felf the worft Wretch that ever
lived : it hurt me h pained my veryHeart>that anyBody fhould
Jhew me any Refpedt : Alas ! methought, how fadly they are
deceived in me ; howmiferably v/ould they be difappointed, if
they knew my Ipfidc I Oh my Heart ! --- And in this deprefs'd
Condition, I was forced to go and preach to a confiderable
Afiembly, before fome grave and learned Minifters ; but felt
fuch a PrefTure from a Senfe of my Vilenefs, Ignorance & Unfit-
nefs to appear in Publick, that I was almoft overcome with it ;
rny Soul was grieved for the Congregation, that they fhould fit
there to hear fuch a dead Dog as I preach ; I thought my felf
infinitely indebted to the People, and loAged that God would
reward them with the Rewards pf bis Grace.-- I fpent much of
the Evening alone.
tl Thefe Gentlemen that eximined Mr. ^rahird, were the
Currefpondciii-s, i^ New-Tor A' ^ New- Jerj'ey zndPenvfthama^
ot the honcuralffc Sociefy in Scotland for propagating
Ciirillian Knowledge ; to whom was committed the
l\']2i;2i^e!r3c.;c of thtir Affairs in thofe Parts, and who
were now met at New-Torh,
PART
'Mt, 25. of Mr. David Brainerd. A.D. 1742. r^
Part IV.
From the T'ime of his Examination by the
Correfpondents of the Society for propa-
gating Chriflian Knowledge^ and bei?tg
appointed their Miflionary, to his firfl
^Entrance on the Bufinefs of his Miffion
among the Indians at Kaiinaumeek.
FR.iday, ISIovemh. 26. Had ftill a Scnfe of my great Vile-
nefs, and endeavoured as much as I could to keep alone.
Oh, what a Nothing, what Duft and Afhes am I !- -En-
joy'd feme Peace and Comfort in fpreading my Complaints be-
fore the God of a]] Grace.
Saturday, Novemh. I'-j. Committed my Soul to God wid^
fome Degree of Comfort ; "left New-York about nine in the
Morning ; came away with a dil^refling Senfe ftiU of my un-
fpeakable Unworthinefs. Surely I may well love ail my Bre-
thren ; for none of them ail isvfo vile as I ; whatever they do
outwardly, yet it feems to me nope is confcious of fo much
Guilt before God. Oh my Leannefo, my Barrennefs, my Car-
nality,and paftBitternefs, &VVant of aGofpel-Temper ! Thefe
Things opprefs my Soul.— -Rode fromA>fii;-3^r;^,<hirty Miles, to
White Plains^ and molf of the Way cdltinued liftinji; up my
Heart to God for iVIercy and purifying Grace ; and fpent the
Evening much deje<Sled in Spirit.
[ The three next Days, be continued in this Frame, in a great
Senfe of his own Vilenefs, with an evident Mixture of Melan-
choly, in no fmali Degree ; bu>t had Tome Intervals of Com-
fort and God's fenfible Preience with him. ]
Wednefday, Decemb. i. My Soul breath'd after God, \a
fweet fpiritual and longing Defires of Confaimity to him 5 my
goul was brought to reft it felf and all on his rich Grace, and
° felt
54 ^A25' ^*^ LIFE
ielt Strength and Encouragement to do or fufferany Thing that
divine Providence (hould allot me.— Rode^ about twenty Miles,
Irom Stratpeld to Newtown.
[Within the Space of the next nine Days, he went a Jour-
rey from Newton to Haddam, his Native Tovi^n ; and after
flaying there fomeDays, returned again into thcWeftcrn Part of
Conne^icut, h czme toSouthbury. In his Account of theFrames
and Exercifes of his Mind, during this Space of Time, arefuch
Things as thefe ; Frequent Turns of Dejeiftion, a Senfe of his
Vilenefs, Emptinefs, and an unfathomable Abyfs of dcfperatc
Wickednefs in his Heart, attended with a Conviction that he
bad never feen but little of it ; bitterly mourning over his Bar-
rennefs, being greatly grieved that he could not live to God, to
whcm he owed his all ten Tbou/and Times ; crying out^ MyLeatt^
mfsf my Leannefs ! A Senfe of the Meetnefs and Suitableneis
of his lying in the Duft beneath God*s Feet, Fervency and Ar-
dour in Prayer, longing to live to God, a being aiijifled with
fome impertinent trifling Converfation that he heard ; but enjoy-
ing Sweetnefs in Chriftian Converfation.]
Saturday,Z>ff^OT^.ii. Converfed with a dear Friend, to whom
I had Thought of giving a liberal Education, and being at the
whole Charge of it,that he might be fitted for the Gofpel-Mini-
ftry * I acquainted Ijim with my Thoughts in that Matter, and
folef: him to confider of it, 'till I fhopld fee him again. Thea
• Mr. Brainerdhzv'ing, now undertaken the Bufirefs of a
Miflionary to the Indians^ and expe(?ling in a little Time to
leave his native Country, to go amon^ the Savages, into the
Wildernefs, far diftant,and fpend the Remainder of his Life
among ihcm, and having fomeEftate left him by his Father,
?nd thinking he fhould have noOccafion for it among them,
( tho* afterwards, as he told me, he found himfelf miftaken)
be fet himfelf to think which Way he might fpend it molt
to theGlory of God ; &no Way prefenting to his Thoughts,
wherein he could do more Good with it, than by being at
the Charge of educating fome young Perfon for the Mini-
firy, that appeared to be of good Abilities and well difpofed,
he pitched upon this Perfon here fpoken of, to this End :
who accordingly was foon put to Learning ; and Mr^Brai-
»<r<i continued to be at the Charge of his Education from
Year to Year, fa long as he (Mr. Brainerd) lived, which
was *tiM this young Man was carried through hi» third
Year in College, ^
ef Mr, David Brainerd. AD. 1 742. 55
I rode to Bethlehem, and fo came to Mr. Bellamy's Lodgings ;
fpcnt the Evening with him in fweet Converfaiion and Prayer :
We recommended the important Concern before mentioned (of
fending my Friend to College) unto the God of all Grace.
BlefTed be the Lord for this Evening's Opportunity together.
LordVDay, Decemh, 12. I felt, in the Morning, as if Ihad
little or no Power either to pray or preach, and felt a diftrefling
Need of divine Help : 1 went to Meeting trembling : But it
pleafed God to aflift me in Prayer & Sermon : I think, my Soul
fcarce ever penetrated fo far into the immaterial World, in any
onePrayer that ever I made,nor were myDevotions ever fo much
refined, and free from grofsConceptions, & Imaginations framed
from beholding material Objeds. I preach'd with fomeSwcet-
tiefs,from Math.m.'^T^.But Jeek ye firft &c. And in theAfternoon
from Rom. xv. 30. And now 1 befeech you^ Srethren^ &c. There
was much AfFedion in the Aficmbly. Thig has been a fweet
Sabbath to me ; and blefled be God, I have Reafon to think»
that my Religion is become more refined and fpiritual, by Means
of my late inwaj-d Confli6ls. Amen / May I always be willing
that God fhould ufe his own Methods with me.
Monday, Decemh. 13. Join'd in Prayer with Mr. Bellamy ;
and found Sweeinefs and Compofure in parting with him, who
went a Journey. Enjoy 'd fome Sweetnefs through the Dty,
and juft at Night rode down to IVoodbury.
'i'uefday, Decemb. 14. Some Perplexity hung on my Mind :
was diftrefs'd, laft Night and this Morning, for the Intercft of
'ZtOHy cfpecially on Account of \\\q falfe Appearances of Religion^
that do but raiher breed Confufion, efpecialiy in fome Places. I
cried to God for Help, to enable me to bear Tefh'mony againft
thofe Things, which inflead of promoting, do but hinder the
Progrcfs of vital Piety. Jn the Afternoon, rode down loSouth-
ittry,and converfed again with my Friend about the important
Affair of his following the Work of the Miniftry ; and he ap-
peared much inclined to devote himfelf to that Work, if God
(hould fucceed his Attempts to qualify himfelf for fo great a
Work. Jn the Evening, I preach'd from i The/, iv. 8. And
endeavoured, tho' withTendernefs, to undermine falfeReligion.
The Lord gave me fome AiTiflance ; but however, 1 feemM
fo vile, I was afhamed to be feen when I came outofthcMect-
ing-Houfe.
Wednefday, Decemb. 15. Enjoyed fomething of God toDay,
both in fecret and fecial Prayer ; bat was feofible of much Ihr-
rcnncfs, and Defed in Duty, as vveii as my liiability to hc'p my
kit
^6 ^/. 15- TJ^ LIFE
felf for the Time to come, or to perform the Work and Bufinefs
I have to do. Afterwards, felt much of the Sweetnefs of Religion ^
dnd the Tendernefs of the Gofpel-Temper : was far from Bil-
tcrnefs, and found a dear Love to all Mankind, and was afraid
of fcarcely any Thing fo much as left fdme Motion of Anger or
Refentment fhould feme Time or other creep into my Heart.
Had feme comforting Soul-Refroflimg Difcourfe with fome dear
Friends, juft as vvc took our Leave of each other, and fuppofed
it might be likely we {hould not meet again 'till we came to the
eternal World. * But 1 doubt not, thro' (grace, but that fome of
us (hall have a happy Meeting there, and blefa God for this Sea-
,f^n, as well as many others. Amen.
]- Tbur{ddiy,Dec£mb. i6. Rode down toDarby ^ had fome fweet
Thoughts, on the Road : My Thoughts were very clear, efpe-
cialiy on theEfTence of our Salvation byChrift,from thofeWords^
Thou /halt call hi: Najnejefus^ he.
•■ Friday, Decemh. iy. Spent muchTime in fweet Converfation
on fpiritual Things with dear Mr. Humphreys. Rode ioRipion j
fper.t fome Time in Prayer with dear Chriiiian Friends.
Saturday, D^f^/w^.i8. Spent muchTirae inPrayer in the Woods:
feem'd raifed above theThings of theWorld : mySoul was Itrong
in the Lord of Hods : But v/as fenfible of great Barrennefs.
. Lord^s-Ddiy^ Deccmb. iq. At the Sacrament of the Lord's
Supper, feem'd flrong in the Lord ; and the World with all its
Frowns & Flatteries in a great Meafure difappear'd, fo that my
Soul had nothing to do with them ; and I felt aDifpcfition to be
wholly and forever the Lord's.-- In theEvening, enjoyed fome-
tbing of the divine Prefence ; Had a humoling Senfeofmy Vile-
nef?, Barrennefs, and Sinfuincfs. Ob, it v/ounded me, to think of
the Mifimprovement of Time ! Gcd be merciful to me a Sinner,
Monday, Decemb. 20. Spent this Day in Prayer, Reading, and
Writing ; and enjoyed fome AfTifbnce, efpecialjy in corre6lin-g
fome Thoughts on a ceruin Sul>je6l -, but had a mournful Senfe
of my Barrennefs.
♦ It bad been determined by the Commiffioners, who em-
ployed Mr. Bftiincrd z%2, MifTjonary, that he fliould go aj
fojn as mifZht be convenier.tlv,to the Indians living near the-
Forks of Delaware River in Penfylvania and the Indicns on
Sufquehanneh River ; which being far off, v;here he would
be e^cpofcd to many Harcffliips arjjJ Dangers j This was
the Occafic;^ of his i?.k\r\^ Leave ^ hia Fii«nds in thi«
c/M-. David Brainerd. if\.D. 1742: 57
'^"'m'^'w'T^' y p r"'r^ ^'"^'°f mylnfufficiency for
• any publick Work and Bufinefs, as well as to live to God I
rode over to Derby, and preach'd there : It pleafed God to give
me very fweet AlTiftance and Enlargement, and to enable me to
fpeak with a foft and tender Power and Energy.— We had after-
wards a comfortable Evening in Singing and Prayer : (god ena-
bled me to pray with as much Spirituality and Sweetnefs as I
have done for fome Time : My Mind feem*d to be uncloathed
of Senfe and Imagination, and was in a Mcafure let into the
immaterial World of Spirits. This Day and Evening was, I
truft, thro' infinite Goodnefs made very profitable to a Number
of us, to advance our Souls in Holinefs and Conformity to God :
The Glory be to Him forever : Amtn. How blefled 'tis to
grow more and more like God !
Wednefday, Decemb. 22. Enjoyed fome AiTiftance in Preach-
ing at Ripton i but my Soul mourned within me for my Barren-
ncfs.
Thurfday, Decemb, 23. Enjoy'd, I truft, fomething of God
this Morning in Secret. Oh how divinely fweet is it to come
into the Secret of his Prcfence, & abide in his Pavilion I— Took
an afFedionate Leave of Friends, not expeiliing to fee ThciH
again for a very confiderable Time, if ever in thisWorld. Rode
with Mr. Humphreys to his Houfe at Derby ; fpent the Time m
fweet Converfation ; my Soul was rfere(h*d and fweetlv melted
with divine Things. Oh that I was always confecrared toGod.
Near Night, I rode to 'New-Haven^ and there enjoved fome
Sweetnefs in Prayer and Converfation, with fome dear Chriftian
Friends : My Mind was fweetly ferious and compofed : Dut
alas, I too much loft the Senfe of divine Things !
[He continued much in the fame Frame of Mind, and in like
Exercifes, the two foilowingDays.]
LordVDay, Decemb. lb. Felt much Sweetnefs and Tender-
nefs in Prayer, efpccially my whole Soul feem'd to love my worft .
Enemies, and was enabled to pray for thofc that are Strangers
and Enemies to God with a great Degree of Softnefs and paih#
tick Fervour. In the Evening, rode from New- Haven to Bran-
ford^ after I had kneel'd down and pray'd with a Number of
dear Chriftian Friends in a very retired Place in theWcods,asii
.fo parted.
Monday, Decemb, 27. Enjoyed a preciousSeafon indeed j h?.d
nfw^et H3«Uing Senfe gf divine Things, ©f tbe pure Spirittality
I •£
58 Mt. 25. ne luWE
ci the Religion of Chrift Jefus. In the Evening, I preachM
from Matth. vi. 33. with much Freedom, and fweet Power and
Pungency : The Prefence of God attended our Meeting. O
the Sweetnefs, the Tendcrnefs I felt in my Soul I If ever I felt
the Temper of Chrifl, I had fome Senfe of it now. BlefTed be
my God, I have feldom enjoy'd a more comfortable and profita-
bJe Day than this. O that I could fpend all j»y Time for God.
Tuefd^, Dscemb, 28. Rode from Branfordto Haddam. In
the Morning, myClearnefs and Sweetnefs in divine Things con-
tinued 'y but afterwards my fpiritual Life fenfibly declined.
[The next twelve Days, he was for the moft Part extreamly
dejected, difcouraged and diflrefTed, and was evidently very much
under the Power of Melancholy 5 and there are from Day to
Day mofl bitter Complaints of exceeding Vilenefs, Ignorance,
Corruption, an amazing Load of Guilt, Unworthinefs to cree^
on God's Earth, everlafting Ufslefnefe, Fitnefs forNothingj^V.
and fometimes Expreffions even of Horror at the Thoughts of
ever Preaching again. But yet in this Time of grcatDejedtion,
he fpeaksoffeveral Intervals of divine Help and Comfort.
[The three next Days, which were fpent at Hebron and the
Crank (a Parifh in Lebanon) he had Relief, and enjoyed confide-
rable Comfort.]
Friday, Jan, 14. 1742,3. My fpiritual Conflids to Day
were unfpeakably dreadful, heavier than the Mountains and
overflowing Floods : I feem'd inclofed, as it were, in Hell it
itAi ! 1 was deprived of all Senfe of God, even of the Being
of a God ; and that was my Mifery I I had no awfulApprehen-
lions of God as angry. This was Diftrefs, the neareft a-kin to
the Damned's Torments, that I ever endured ; Their Tor-
ment, I am fure, will confift much in a Privation of God, and
confcquenily of all Good. This taught me the abfolute Depcn-,
dance of a Creature upon God the Creator, for every Crumb of
Happinefs it enjoys* Oh ! I feel that if there is no Go^, tho'
I might live for ever here, and enjoy not only this, but all other
Worlds, I fhould be ten Thoufand Times more miferable than
a I'oad ! My Soul was in fuch Anguifh I could not eat, bat
felt as 1 fuppofed a poor Wretch would that isjufl going to the
Place of Execution. I v/as almoft fwallowed up with Anguifh,
when I fav/ People gathering together to hear me preach. Hcw-
cver, 1 went in that Diftrefs to the Houfe. of God, and found
no: mu«fe Reli©{ia t^Q foil Prayer ; It feem'd as if God would
lee
<?/ Mr. David Brainerd. A.D.1743. 59
let loofe thePeopIe upon me to deftroy me, nor were thcTho'ts
of Death diftreffing to me, like my own Vilenefs. But after-
wards, in my Difcourfe from Deut, viii. 2. God was pleaftd
to give me fome Freedom and Enlargement, feme Power and
Spirituality ; and I fpent the Evening fomething comfoi tably.
[The two next Days, his Comfort continues, and he feems
(o enjoy an almoft continual Sweetnefs of Soul in the Duties
and Exercifes of Religion and Chriftian Convcrfation. On
Monday was a Return of the Gloom he ha;i been under the
Friday before. He rode to Covmtry this Day, and the latter
Part of the Day had more Freedom. On Tuefday he rode to
Canterbury^ and continued more comfortable.]
Wednefday, Jan, 19. [At Canterbury.'] In the Afternoon
preach'd theLedlureat the Meeting-Houfe : Felt fome T'cn-
dernefe, and fomething of the Gofpel-Temper : exhorted the
People to love one another, and not to fet up their own Fra-mcs
as aStandard to try all theirBrethren by. But was much prefs'd,
moft of the Day, with a Scnfe of my own Badncfs, inward Im-
purity, and unfpeakable Corruption. Spent the Evening in
Joving Chriftian Converfation.
Thurfday, Jan. 20. Rode to my Brother's Houfe between
Norwich and Lebanon ; and preach'd in the Evening to a Num-
ber of People: enjoy'd neither Freedom nor Spirituality j but
Uw my felf exceeding unworthy.
Friday, Jan. 21. Had great inward Conflidls ; enjoy'd but
little Comfort. Went to fee Mr. fFilliams of Lebanon, and
fpent feveral Hpurs with him ; and was greatly delighted with
his ferious, deliberate and impartial Way of Difcourfe about
Religion.
[The next Day, he was much dejecled.J
Lord*s-Day, Jan. 2^. Scarce ever felt my felf fo unfit t»
cxift, as now : 1 faw, 1 was not worthy of a Place among thj
Indians^ where I am going, if God permit : I thought, 1 rnould
bs afhamed to look them in the Face, and much more to have
any Refpea (hewn me there. Indeed I felt my felf banilhel
from the Earth, as if all Places were too good for fuch aWreic.i
as I : I thought I fliould be afliamed to go among the very Sava-
ges of Africa ; I appeared to my felf a Creature fit forNothmg,
neither Heaven nor Earth.— None knows, but ihofc that feci
it, what the Soul endures that is fenfibly fhut out trcm the Irc-
fcnce of God : Ala?, 'tis more bitter than Death !
12
6o JEi. 25. r/&^ L I F E
[On Monday, he rode to Stoningiown, Mr. Fijh^s Pariflj.-—
On Tuefday he exprefies confiderableDegrees of fpiritual Com-
fort and Refrefhment.J
Wednefciay, Jan. 26. Preach'd to a pretty largeAfTembly at
Mr. Fi/h's MeeiingHoufe : Infifted on Hunmility, & Stedfaftnefs
in keeping God's Commands, and that thro' Humility we fhould
prefer one another in Love, and not make our own Frames the
Rule by which we judge others. I felt fweetly calm and, full of
brotherly Love ; and never more free from Party-Spirit. I
hope, fome Good will follow, that Chriftians will be freed
from falfe Joy, and Party-Zeal, and cenfuring one another.
[On Thurfday, after confiderable Time fpent in Prayer and
Chriitian Converfation, he rode to New London ]
Friday, Jan. 28. Here I found fome fallen into fome Extra-
vagances, too much carried away with a falfe Zeal and Bitter-
nefs. Oh, the Want of a Gofpel-Temper is greatly to be la-
mented. Spent theEvening in converfmg with fome about fome
Points of Condud in both Minifters and private Chriftians ; but
did not agree with them ; God had not taught them with Briers
md Iharns to be of a kind Difpofition toward Mankind.
[On Saturday, he rode to Eaji-Haddamy and fpent the three
following Days there ; and in that Space of Time he fpeaks of
his feelingWeanednefs from the World, a Senfe of the Nearnefs
of Eternity, fpecial Affiftance in praying for the Enlargement
of Chrift's Kingdom, Times of fpiritual C«»mfort &c.]
"Wednefday, Feb. 2, Preach'd my Farewell-Sermon, laft
Night, at the Houfe of an aged Man, who had. been unable to
attend on the publick Worfbip for fome Time ; and thisMorn-
ing, fpent the Time in Prayer, almofi: wherever I went ; and
having taken Leave of Friends,! fet out on my Journey towards
ihe Indians ; tho* by the Way I was to fpend fome Time at
Eafl' Hampton on Lovg-ljland^y theLeavc of theCommilfioners
v.'ho employed me in the Indian Affair ; * and being accompa-
The Reafon why the Commiffioners or Correfpondents
ri'd not order Mr. Brainerd to go immediately to the Indi-*
c-if, and f nter on his Bufinefs as a MifHonary to them, was
;riat theJf'inier was not judged to be a convenient Seafon for
him firft to go out into the Wildcinefs, and enter on the
DiflicuUH's and Hardi'hip? hg- rauft there Ik expofed tt>*
nied
of Mr, David Brainerd. A.D.1745. Si
mt^hy zMt^QngtritomEaJi- Hampton, we travelled to L^w^,
Gn the Road I felt an uncommon PnfTure of Mmd : I feem'd
to ftruggle hard for fome Pleafure in lomeihing here bel >w, and
feem'd loth to give up all for gone ; but then faw my felf evj'dent-
Jy throwing my felf into all Hardfhips and Diftrefl'es in my pre-
fentUndertaking ; I thought it would be lefs difficult to lie down
in the Grave : But yet I chofe to go, rather than liray.— Came
to Lyme that Night.
[ He waited the two next Days for a PafTage over theSound,
and fpent much of the Time in inward Coiifl.ds and Dejedion>
but had fome Comfort.
On Saturday, he crofs'd the Sound, landed at Oy/ier- Ponds on
Long-l^and^ and travelled from thence to E a ft Hampton, And
the feven following Days he fpent there, for the moft Part,under
extream Dejedlion and Gloominefs of Mind, with great Com-
plaints of Darknefs, Ignorance he. Yet his Heart appears to
have been conftantly engaged in the great Bufjnefs of Religion,
much concerned for the Intereft of Religion in Eaji- Hampton^
and praying and labouring touch for k. ]
Saturday, Feb. 12. Enjoyed a httle more Comfort, was ena-
bled to meditate with fome Compofure of Mind ; and efpecially
in the Evening, found my Soul more refrefh'd in Prayer, than
at any Time of late ; my Soul feem'd to take hold of God's
Strength^ & was comforted with hisConfolaiions. O how fweeC
are fome Glimpfes of divine Glory ! How ftrengthening and
quickening.
LordVDay, Feb. 13. At Noon, under a great Degree of
Difcouragement ; knew not how it was poffiblc for me to preach
in the Afternoon, was ready to give up all for gone ; but God
was pleafed to affift me in fome Meafure. In the Evening, my
Heart was fweetly drawn out after God, and devoted to him.
[ The next Day,he had Comfort andDejedion intermingled.]
Tuefday, Feb. 15. Early in the Day I felt fome Comfort,
afterwards 1 walked into a neighbouring Grove, and felt more
as a Stranger on Earth, I think, than ever before ; Dead to any
of the Enjoyments of the World as if I had been dead in a na-
tural Senfe.— In the Evening, had divine Sweetnefs in fccret
Duty : God was the^i my Portion, and my Soul rofe above thofe
deep Waters, into which I have funk (o low of late ;-- My Soul
then cried for Zioji, and had Sweetnefs in fj doing.
[Thi«
62 JEf. 25, 7/^i?LIFE
[ This fweet Frame continued the next Morning ; but after-
wards his inward Diftrefs returned.]
Thurfday, F^b. 17. In the Morning, found my felf foinething
comfortable, and reftcd on God in fome Meafure.— Preach'd
ihisDay at a little Village belonging xoEa/i- Hampton ; and God
was pleafed to give me his gracious Prefence and AfTiftance, fo
that I fpake with Freedom, Boldnefs and fome Power. In the
Evening, fpent fome Time with a dear Chriftian Friend ; felt
fweetly ferious, as on the Brink of Eternity ; my Soul enjoyed
Sweetnefs in lively Apprehenfions of {landing before the glorious
God : prayed with my dear Friend withSweetnefsjSnd difcourfed
with utmoft Solemnity. And truly it was a little Emblem
of Heaven it felf.--- I find my Soul is more refined and weaned
from a Dependance on my Frames and fpiritual Feelings.
Friday, Feb, 18. Felt fomcthing fweetly moft of the Day,
and found accefs to the Throne of Grace. BlefTed be the Lord
for any Intervals of heavenly Delight and Compofure, while I
am engaged in the Field of Battle. O that I might be ferious,
folemn and always vigilant, while in an evil World. Had fome
Opportunity alone to Day, and found fome Freedom in Study.
O, I long to live to God.
Saturday, Feb. 19. Was exceeding infirm to Day, greatly
troubled with Pain in my Head and Dizzinefs, fcarce able to
fit up. Hov/ever, enjoyed fomething of God in Prayer, and per-
formed fome necefTary Studies. I exceedingly long to die, and
yet through divine Goodncfs have felt very willing to live, for
two or three Days paft.
LordVDay, Feb. 20. Was fomething perplexed on Account
of my Carelefnefs ; I thought 1 could not be fuitably concerned
about the important VV^ork of the Day, and fo was reftlefs with
my Eafinefs.-- Was exceeding infirm again to Day; but the
Lord ftrengthened me, both in the outward and inward Man, fo
that I preach'd with fome Life and Spirituality, cfpccially in the
Afternoon, wherein 1 was enabled to fpeak clofely againlt fe!§fh
Religion, that loves Chrift for his Benefits, but not for himfelf.
[ Durlnrr the next Fortnight, it appears that he for the moft
Part enjoyed much fpiritual Peace and Comfort. In his Diary
for this Space of Time, are exprefl'ed fuch Things as thefe ;
Mourning over indwellingSin andUnprofitablenefs ; Deadnefs to
the Worlfl, Longing afier God and 10 live to his Glory, Heart-
mclling Dcfircs after his eternal Flom^, fix'd RcUapce on God
(gx
(?/ Mr. David Brainefd, A.D.1743; 5*
for his Help, Experience of much divine AiTiftance both in the
private and publick Exercifesof Religion ; jnward Strength and
Courage in theService of God, very frequent Refrefhment, Con-
folation and divine Svi^eetnefs in Meditation, Prayer, Preaching
and Chriftian Converfation. And it appears by his Account
that this Space of Time was filled up u'ith great Diligence and
Earncftnefs in ferving God, in Study, Prayer,Meditation,Pfeach-
ing, and private Inftru6ling and Counfelling. ]
Monday, Anarch 7. This Morning when I arofe, I found my
Heart go forth afterGod in longingDefires ofConformity tohim,
and in fecret Prayer found my felf fweetly quicken'd and drawn
out in Praifes to God for all he had done to and for me, and for
all my inward Trials and Diftrefles of late ; my Heart 'afcribed
Glory, Glory, Glory to the blefled God I And bid Welcome
all inward Diftrefs again, if God faw meet to exercife me with
it ; Time appeared but an Inch long, and Eternity at Hand ;
and I thought I could with Patience and Chearfulnefs bear any
Thing for the Caufe of God :— For I faw that a Moment would
bring me to a World of Peace and Ble/Tednefs -, and my Soul, bv
the Strength of the Lord, rofe far above this lower World, and
all the vain Amufements ana frightful Difappointmcnts of it.
Afterwards, was vifited by fome Friends, but loft fome Sweet-
nefs by the Means. After that, had fome Tvi^eet Meditation on
Gen. v. 24. Jni Enoch walked with God &c. --- This was a
comfortable Day to my Soul.
[The next Day, he feems to have continued in a confidera-
ble Degree of Sweetnefs and Fervency in Religion.]
Wednefday, -^^riT-^g. Endeavoured t© commit my felf and
all my Concerns to God. Rode 16 Miles to Mantauk. * and
had fome inward Sweetnefs on the Road ; but fomerhing of
Flatnefs Sc Deadnefs after I came there and had feen the Indians :
I withdrew, and endeavoured to pray, but found mv felf
awfully deferted and kft^ and had an aiHiding Senfe of my
Vilenefs and Meannefs. However, 1 went and preach'd from
Jfai. liii. 10. Had fome Affiftance ; and, I truft, fomethipi;
©f the divine Prefence was among us. In the Evening, again (
pray'd and exhorted amoag them, after having had a Scafon
alone, wherein I was lo prefs'd with the Blacknefs of my Na-
ture, that I thought it was not fit for me to fpeak io much as to
Indians.
* Alantauk is the Eaftcrn Cape or End of Long- JJland , hyhz-
hltad QhkAy by Indians* [The
€4 ^t, 25. The LIFE
[The next Day, he returned to Eaft- Hampton ; was exceed-
ing infirm in Bodv through the remaining Part of this Week ;
but fpe ks of AiTiftance and Enlargement in Study and religious
ExercifcSj and of inward Sweetnefs and breathing after God.}
Lord's-Day, March 13. At Noon, I thought it impoffible
for me to preach, b\ Reafun of bodily Weaknefs and inward
Deadnefs ; and in the firft Prayer, was fo weak that I could
hardly ftand ; but in i>ermon, God ftrenthgned me, fo that I
fpake near an Hour and half with fweet Freedom, Clearnefs, and
fome tender Power, from Gen. v. 24. ^«^ Enoch walked with
Cod. I was fweetly aflifled to infift on a clofe Walk with God^
and to leave This as mv parting Advice to Clod's People here,
that they Jhsuld walk with God, May the God of all Grace
fucceed my poor Labours in this Place !
Monday, March 14. In the Morning, was very bufy in Pre-
paration for myjourney, and was almoft continually engaged in
cjaculatory Prayer. About ten, took Leave of the dear People
of Ea/i- Hampton. M)Heaft grieved & mourned, and rejoyced
at thefameTime, rode near fifty Miles to aPart of Brook-Haven^
and lodged therejand had refrefhingConverfation with aChriltian
Friend.
[In two Days more he reached New-York \ but complains of
iriAJch Defertit^n and Deadnefs on the Road. He ftay'd one
Day in New-York^ and on Friday went to Mr. Dickinfon's at
Elifabeth-Town His Complaints are the fame as on the two
preceeding Days.]
Saturday, March 19. Was bitterly diftrefTed under a Senfe
ef my Ignorance, Darknefs and Unwonhinefs ; got alone, and
poured out my Complaint to God in the Bitternefs of mySoul.—
In the Afternoon, rode to Newark^ and had fome Sweetnefs m
Converfation with Mr. Burr^ and in Praying together. O !
'blefled be God forever and ever, for any enlivening and quick-
ening.
Lords-Day, Anarch so. Preach'd in the Forenoon : God
gave me fome Afiiftance ar.dSwectnefs, and enabled me tofpeak
with real Tendernefs, Love and Impartiality. In the Evening,
preach'd again ; and of a Truth God was pleafed to afTitt a poor
Worm. Bleffed be God, I was enabled to fpeak with Life,
Power,and paflionate Defire of the Edification of God*s People,
and with fome Power to Sinners. In the Evening, I felt fome-
thing fpiritual and watchful, left my Heart fliould by any Means
be drawn away from God, Ob, when fhall I ccwie to tliat
'e?/ Mr. David Braincsd. 17^^.3. 5^
WcfTcd Wnrld, whprp every Pow.rof my Eoul will be inccfTantlv
and eternally wound up, in heavenly Employment and Enjov.
ments, to the higheft Degree. ■' ^
t On Monday he went to H^obdbridgiy where he fpeaks of his
being with a Number of Miniflers j * and the Day following
of his travelling part of the Way towards iVm;-rtfri^,and lodging
at a Tavern : On Wednefday, he came to New-Tor k : Oa
Thurfday, he rode near 50 Miles, from Nnu-Terk to Nenb*
CoftU : On Friday, went to Danbury : On Saturday, to Nno*
Mlford: On the Sabbath, fee rode 5 or 6 Miles to ^ Place near
Kent in Conne^icut^ called Scatuoke, where dwell a Number of
Indians^ || and preached to them : On Monday, being detain*d
by the Rain, he tarried at Kent : On Tuefday, he rode from
Kent to Salfkury 3 Wednefday, he went to Sheffield : Thurfday,
Anarch 31. he went to Mr. Sergeant's at Stockbridge. He was
dejected and very difconfolate, thro' the main of this Journey
from NeW'Jerfey to Stockbridge ; and efpecially on the laftDay
his Mind was overwhelmed with an exceeding Gloominefs and
Melancholy]
* Thefe Minifters were the Correfpendenti^ who now met at
Woodbridge^ and gave Mr. Brainerd new Diredlions, mi
inftead of fending him te thelndians at XhtFcrki of Delaware^
as before intended ; they ordered him to go to a Number
of Indians, at Kaunaumeek^ a Place in the Province of New
Torky in the Woods between Siocibridge and J/bany. This
Alteration was cccafioned by twoThings, viz. 1. Informa-
tion that the Correfpondents had received, of fome Conten-
tion now fubfifling between the white People and the Indi-
aBS atZ)^/tfWflr^, concerning their Lands, which they fuppo-
fed would be a Hindrance at prefent to their Entertainment
©f a Miffionary, and to his Succefs among them. And 2*.^
Some Intimations they had received from Mr Sergeant^
Mi/Tionary to the Indians at Stvdbridge, concerning the In-
dians at Kaunaumeeky and the hopeful Profpedt of Succefs
that a Miffionary might have among them.
( Thefe were the fame Indiam that Mr. Brainerd ment-ow
in his Diary, on Aug, I2. the preceeding Year.
K PART
66 ^/•..25. r/;^LIFE
•?i
Part V.
From his Jirfi Beginning to infiruSi the.
Indians at Kaunaumeek, to his Ordina-
tion.
I"lRIday, April i, 1 743. I xo^Q io Kaunaumeek ^ ntTiX ivttniy
^* A/liles from Stcckbridge^ where the Indians YivQ^Vfiih. whom
" . I am concerned, and there lodgM on a littleHeap of Straw :
was greatly exercifed with inward Trials and Diftrefles all Day 5
and in the Evening, my Heart was funk, and I feemed to have
ri.o God to go to. O that God would help me !
[The next five Days, he was for the moft Part in a dejedted
depreb'd State of Mind, and fometimes extreamly fo. Hefpeaks
of God's JVaves and Bilkws rolling over his Soul ; and of his
being ready fometimes to fay, Surely his Mercy is clean gone for
ever^ and he will he favourable no more ; and fays, The Anguiih
he erKlured, was namclefs and inconceivable : But at the fame
Time fpeaks thus concerning his DiflrefTes, IVhat God deftgnshj
all my Dijlrejfes I know not 5 but this I know, 1 deferve 'them all^
end ThoufaKds more."- He givss an Account of the Indians kindly
receiving him, and being ferioufly attentive to hislnftrudions.j
Friday, Jpril'j. Appeared to my felf exceeding ignorant,
weak, helplefs, and unworthy, and altogether unequal to my
Work. It feem*d to me, I fhould never do any Service, or
i#!iave any Succefs among the Indians, My Soul was weary of
my Life : I longed for Death, beyond Meafure. When I
thought of any godly Soul departed, my Soul was ready to envy
Jhim his Privilege^ 'thinking, Oh^ when will my 7urn come /
Muji it be Tears firfl /-- But I know, thofe ardent Defires, , at
this and other Times, rofe partly for Want of Relignation' to
C^od under allMifcries ; and fo were but Impatience. Towards
Night, 1 had ([ think) the Exercife of Faith m Pfayer,and fom«
Aitft3!ice ia Wriiing* Q thai God woti'ld keep me nearhim f
Fiida^^
ej Mr. David Braincrd. A D. 1 7 43. 67
Friday, Jpril 8. Was exceedingly prefs'd under a Senfe of
TAy Pride ^S elf fiinefs, Bittermfs^ and Party-Spirit, inTimes p;ift,
while I attempted to promote the Caufe of God : It's vile Na-
ture and dreadful Confequences appeared in fuch oJious Coloars
to, me, that ray very Heart was pained : I faw how poor Souls
ftumbled over it into everlafling Def^rudlion, that 1 'was coif"
ftrained to make that Prayer in the Bitternefs of my Soul, O
Lord, deliver me from Blood-Guiltinefs. I faw my Dcfert of Hell
on this Account. My Soul was full of inward Anguifli and
Shame before God, that I had fpcnt fo much Tiir.e in Converfa-
tion tending only to promote a Party-Spirit. Oh, I faw I ha^
not faitably prized Mortification, Self-denial, Refign^tionundtrr
all Adverfities, Mecknefs, Love, Candour, and Holinefs of
Heart and Life : And this Day was alraoft whally fpent in fuch
bitter and Soul-afflicting Refle(£lions on my paft Frames and
Condud.— Of late,I have thought much of having the Kingdom
of Chrift advanced in the World ; But now I faw I had enough
to do within my felf. The Lord be merciful to me a Sinner,
and wafh my Soul.
Saturday, j^pril 9. Remained much in the ^jme State as
Yefterday ; excepting that the Senfe of my Vilenefs was not fo
quick and acute.
Lord's-Day, j^pril 10. Rofe early in the Morning, and
walked out, and fpent confiderable Time in the Woods, in
Prayer and Meditation. Preach'd to the Indiom ,hoi\\ Forenoon
andAfternoon. They behaved foberly in general : two or threfs
in particular appeared under fome religious Concern j with
whom I difcourfed privately ; and one told me, ker Heart hnd
cried , ever fine e Jhe heard me preach fir ft,
[The next Day, he complains of much Defer t ion ]
Tuefday, Jpril 12. Was greatly opprefs'd with Grief at^4
Shame, refleding on my paft Condua, my BiiterneU & Pt^r.^M
Zeal : I was afhamed,to think that fuch a Wretch a^ I had evff
preach'd ! — Longed to be excufed from that Work. A\v\
when my Soul was not in Anguifh and keen Diftrefs, I \t\z
Senfelefs a^a Beafi before G;i, and felt a PCind of guikyAmufe-
ment with the leaft Trifles ; which ftiil maintainM a Kinder
ftifle-d Horror of Confcience, fo that I could not red any mor?
than a condemned MalefafSlor.
i^Wednefday, Jpril i^^ My Heart was overwhelmed Wiihm
1^1 : I verily thought I was the mean?(t, vileft, mpft l.clplers.
68 JEi.25* The LIFE
guilty, ignorant, benightned Creature living. And yet I knew
what God had done for my Soul, at thefameTime : The' fome<-
times I was aflaulted with damping Doubts and Fears, whether
it was poflible for fuch a Wretch as I to be in a State of Giace.
Thurfday, Jpril 14. Remained much in the fame State as
Yefterday,
Friday, Jpril 15. In the Forenoon, very difconfolatc. In
the Afternoon, preach'd to my People, and was a little encou-
raged in (ome Hopes God might beftow Mercy on their Souls.—
Felt fomething refigned to God under all Difpenfations of his
Providence.
Saturday, Jpril 16. Still in the Depths of Diflrefs. — In the
Afternoon, preach'd to my People ; but was more difcouraged
with them than before ; fear'd that nothing would ever be done
for them to any happyEffecS. I retired and poured out my Soul
to God for Mercy ; but without any fenfible Relief. Soon
after, came an Irifh-man and a Dutch-many with a Deflgn, as
they faid, to hear me preach the next Day ; but none can tell
how I felt, to hear their profane Talk. Oh, I longed that
!fome dear Chriftian knew my Diftrefs. I got into a Kind of
Hovel, and there groan'd out myComplaini to God ; and withal
felt more fenfible Gratitude and Thankfulnefs to God, that he
had made me to differ from thefe Men, as I knew thro' Grace
he had.
LordVDay, Jpril 17. In the Morning was again diftrcfTed
as foon as I waked, hearing much Talk about the World and
the Things of it : Tbo* I perceived the Men were in fome
Meafure afraid of me ; and I difcourfed fomething about fandli-
fying the Sabbath, if poflible, to folemnize their Minds : But
when they were at a littIeDiftance,they again talked freely about
fecular Affairs. Oh, I thought wh^t a Hell it would be, to
live with fuch Men to Eternity ! The Lord gave me fomeAflift-
ance in Preaching, all Day, aad fome Refignation, and a fmall
I)egrce of Comfort in Prayer at Night.
[ He continued in this difconfolate Frame the next Day.]
Ttjcfday, Jpril iq. In the Morning, enjoyed fome fweeC
Rcpofe and Reft in God ; felt fome Strength and Coniidengc in
God ; and my Soul was in fome Meafure refrcfh'd and com"
forted. Spent moft of the Day in Writing, and had fome Ex^
ercife of Grace fenfible and i:omfortable ; my Soul fecm*d lifjM
;kbove the dtepff^av^.^nh^xm it has bc^n fo lopg aJmoft drow^^i'
felt
JEl.iS. of Mr. David Bralncrd. A.D. 1 743. 69
felt fome fpiritual Longings and Breathings of Soul after God ;
found my felf engaged for the Advancement of Chrift*s Kingl
tlom in my own Soul, more than in others, more than in the
Heathen World.
Wedncfday, Jpril 20. Set apart this Day for Fafting and
Prayer, to bow my Soul before God for the Beftowment of di-
vine Grace ; efpecially that all my fpiritual AfHi6tiorK and in-
ward Diftrefles might be fan6lificd to my Soul. And endea-
voured alfo to remember the-Geodnefs of God to me in the Year
paft, this Day being my Birth-Day. Havmg obtained Help of
God, I have hitherto lived, and am now arrived at the Age of
25 Years. My Soul was pained, to think of my Barrennefs
and Deadnefs ; that I have lived fo little to the Glory of the
eternal God. I fpent the Day in the Woods alone, and there
poured out my Complaint to God. O that God would enable
me to live to his Glory for the future.
Thurfday, Jpril 21. Spent the Forenoon in Reading and
Prayer, and found my felf fomething engaged ; but ftill mucf»
deprefs'd in Spirit under a Senfe of my Vilenefs and Uiifitnefs
for any publick Service. In the Afternoon, I vifited my Peo-
ple, and prayed and converfed with fome about their SoulsCon-
cerns: and afterwards found fome Ardour of Soul in fecret
Prayer. O that I might grow up into the Likenefs of God.
Friday, yfpril 22. Spent the Day in Study, Reading and
Prayer ; and felt a little relieved of my Burden, that has been
fo heavy of late. But ftill in fome Meafure opprefs'd : had a
Senfe of Barrennefs. Oh, my Leannefs teftifies againft me ! My
very Soul abhors it felf for it*s Unlikenefs to God, it's Inactivity
and Sluggiftinefs. When I have done all, alas, what an un-
profitable Servant am I ! My Soul groans, to fee the Hours of
the Day roll away, becaufe I don't fill them, in Spirituality
and Heavenly-Mindednefs, And yet I long they fhould fpecd
their Pace, to haften me to my eternal Home, where I may fill
up all my Moments, thro* Eternity, for God and his Glory.
[On Saturday and Lord VDay, his Melancholy again pre-
vailed : He cried out of his Ignorance, Stupidity, and Senfe^'
Icfnefs ; while yet he feems to have fpent the Time with ut^
moft Diligence, in Study, in Prayer, and in Inftruftirtg and
Coqnfelling the Indians, On Monday, he funk into thedeepcft
Melancholy 5 fo that he fuppofed he never fpent a Day in fuch
refs in his Life ; not in Fears of Hell, (which, be fays, he
viQ prciljng Fear of ) but a diftrcffing Senfe of his own Vilc-
ntfc
J
"O
^/. 26. "ih LIFE
rcfs &c. On Tuefday, he exprefles fome Relief. Wcdnefday
he kept as a Day of Fafting and Prayer, but in great Diftrefs.
The three Days next following, his Melancholy continued, but
in a lefTer Degree, and with Intervals of Comfoit. * ]
Lord's- Day, May i. Was at Stockbridge to Day. In the
Forenoon had fome Relief and Ailiftance ; tho' not fo much as
ufual. In the Afternoon, felt poorly in Body and Soul 5 while
I was preaching, feemed to be rehearfing idle Tales^ without
the leaft Life, Fervour, Senfe, or Comfort : and efpecially
afterwards, at the Sacrament,Fny Soul was filled withConfufion,
and the utmofl Anguifh that ever I endured, under the Feeling
of my inexpreiTible Vilenefe and Meannefs : It was a moft bitter
and diftrefling Seafon to me, by Reafon of the View I had of my
own Heart, and the fecret Abominations that lurk there : I tho*t
the Eyes of all in the Houfe were upon me, and I dared not look
any One in the Face ; for it verily feem'd as if they faw the Vile-
nefs of my Heart, and all the Sins I had ever been guilty of.
And if I had been^baniflied from the Prefence of all Mankind,
never to be feen any more, or fo much as th9Ught of, ftill I
fhould have been diltrcfTed with Shame ; and I (hould have been
afhamed to fe^^the moft barbarous People on Earth, becaufe I
was viler, and feemingly more brutifhly ignorant than they. — -
1 am made to pojfefs the Sins of my Touth,
[ The remaining Days of this Week were fpent, for the moft
Part, in inward Diftrefs andGloominefs. The next Sabbath, he
had Encouragement, Ailiftance and Comfoft ; but on Monday
lunk again.]
Tuefday, May 10. Was in the fame State, as to my Mind,
that I have been in for fome Time, extremely prefs'd with a
Senfe of Guilt, Pollution, Blindnefs : The Iniquity of my Heels have
(owpajjed mc about ; the Sins of my Tcuth have been fet in order
before me ; they have gone over my Head, as an heavy Burden, too
1?eavyfor me to bear, Almoft all the Adlions of my Life paft feem
to be cover'd over with Sin and Guilt ; and thofe of them that 1
performed in the moft confcientious Manner, now fill me with
Shame&Confurion,that I cannot hold up myFace. Oh ! thcPride^
Seifi/Ii^^fSiHypocrify, Ignorance, Biitermjs,Party'Zeal, & x\izWant
. : -^
* On the laft of thefe Days he wrote the firjl Litter ^Ai^X
the End of this Hiftorv, ^' ^
of Mr, David Brainerd. A.D.i;^^; -yf
of Love, Candour, Meeknefs and Gentlenefs,tliat have attended
my Attempts to promote Religion and Vertue -, and this when
1 have Reafon fo hope I had real Affiftance from above,and fome
fweec Intercourfe with Heaven ! But alas, what corrupt Mixtures
attended my beft Duties I
[ The next feven Days, his Gloom and Diftrefs continued,
for the moft Part : but he had feme Turns of Relief and fpiri-
tual Comfort. He gives an Account of his fpending Part of this
Time in hard Labour, to build himfelf a little Cottage to live in a-
mongft the hdians^m which he might.be by himfelf ; having ( it
feems) hitherto lived with a poor-Scotch-Man, as he obferves in
theLetter jufl now refei'd to in the Margin ; and afterwards,be-
forehis own Houfe was habitable, lived in a Wigwam among
the Indians. ]
Wednefday, May i8. My Circumdances are fucb that I
have no Comfort, of any Kind, but what I have in God.* I live
in the moft lonefom Wiidernefs ; have biit.one Tingle Perfon to
Converfe with,- tfeat can fpeak EngUJh : ;* Mofl of the Talk I
hear, is either Highland- Scotch or Indian, I have no Fellow-
Chriftian to whom I might unbofom my felf, and lay open my
fpiritual Sorrows, and with whom i might take fweet Counfel
in Converfation about heavenly Things, and join in fecial Prayer.
I live poorly with Regard to the Comforts of Life : moft of my
Diet confiltsof boil'd Corn, Flafty- Pudding, ^r. Ilodgedha
Bundle of Straw,and mvLabour is hard and extreamly difficult^
and I have f little Appearance of Succefs, to comfort me. The
Indians Affairs are very difjicult ; having no Land to Xwq on, but
what the Dutch People lay Claim to, and threatfq^o drive them
©fF from ; they have roRegard m the Souls of the poor Indians ;
and, by what I can learn, they hatdfmejbecaiile I come to preach
to 'em.—' But that which makes al! my Difficulties grievous to
be born, Is^ that God hides his face from me.
* This Perfon was Mr. Brainerd's Interpreter ; who wa^aa.
ingenious young Indian belonging i&'^tockbridgc, vvhcfc
Name was John IVauwaumpeqiiunnaunt ^ who had b^en in-
flrudted in the Chriftian Religion by Mr. Serge^int ; aiiJ
had lived with theRev. Mr. tPiliioms of Lting-Meadow.zw^
had been further inftructeti by him, at the Charge oi l^jr.
1^ Mollis of London ; and underliood both Englijh Z'\dJ/ioiaa
"Ve/v well, aad wrote aggcd'Hand,
Thuffdjy,
;^2 y^/. 26. ne LIFE
Thurfday, May 19. Spent moft of this Day in clofe Studies :
But was fometimes fo diftrefs'djthat 1 could think of nothing but
my rpiritual Blindnefs, Ignorance, Pride, and Mifery, Oh, I
have Reafon to make that Prayer, Lord^ forgive my Sins o/Touthy
and fornxer Trefpafles !
Friday, May io. Was much perp]exed,fome Part of theDay ;
tut towards Night, had fome comfortable Meditations on Ifai.
xl. I. And enjoyed fome Sweetnefs in Prayer. Afterwards my
Soul rofc fo far above the deep Waters^ that I dared to rejoyce in
God : I faw, there was fufHcient Matter of Confolation in the
blcfTed God.
[ The next nine Days, his Burdens were for the moft Part
alleviated ; but with Variety : at fome Times having confidcra-
ble Confolation, and at other Times more deprefTed. The next
Day, Monday, May 30. He fet out onajourney toNew-Jerfey^
to confult the Commiffioners that employed him about the
Affairs of his Miilion : f performed his Journey thither in four
Days ; and arrived at Mr. Burr's in Newark on Thurfday. In
great Part of his Journey, he was in the Depths of Melancholy,
under like Difireffes with thofe already mentioned. On Friday,
he rode to Etifabeth-Town j and on Saturday to New-Tor k ; and
from thence on his way Homewards as far as White-Plains ;
where he (pent the Sabbath, and had confiderable Degrees of
divine Confolation andAfTiftance in publick Services. On Mon-
day, he rode about 60 Miles xoNew- Haven. There he attempted
a Reconciliation with the Authority of the College i and fpent
this Week in vifuing his Friends in thofe Parts, and in his Jour-
ney Homewards, *till Saturday, in a pretty comfortable Frame
of Mind. On Saturday, in his Way from Stockbridge to Kau-
naumeik, he was loft in the Woods, and lay all Night in the open
Air ; but happily found his Way in the Morning, and came to
his Indians onLord'^-Day, June 12. And had greater Affiftance
in Preaching among them than ever beforCjfince his iirft coming
*mong them.]
t His Bufinefs with the CommiiHoncrs now was, to obtain
Orders from them to fet up a School among the Indians at
Kaunaumeek^sind that his Interpreter might be appointed the
School- Maftcr ; Which was accordingly done.
of Mr. Divid Brainerd. A.D. 1 74^. 73
[From thisTime forward be was the Subjed of variousFramcs
and Exercifes of Mind : But it fecms, in the general, to have
been with him much after the fame Manner as it had been hi-
therto from his firft coming to Kaunaumeek^ 'till he got into
his own Houfe (a little Hut^ that he made chiefly witli his own
Hands, with long and hardLabour) which was near fcvenVVeeks
froni this Time. Great Part of this Space of Time, he w'as de-
jeded and deprefled with Melancholy, and fometimcs very ex-
treamly : his Melancholy operating in like Manner as has been
related of Times paft. How it was with him in thofe dark Sea-
fons, he himfclf further defcribes in his Diary for Juh 2. in the
following Manner. My Soul island has for a longTime been in a
piteous Condition^wading thro* a Series of Sorrows^ of various Kinds,
1 have been fo crufi' d down fometimes with a Senje of my Meannefs
and infinite Unworthinefs^ that 1 have been ajhamed that any even
the meanefi of my Fellow- Creatures fhould fo much as fpend a Thought
about me^l^ have wiJ})^dfometimes while 1 have travelled among tbg
thick Brakes, as one of them^ to drop into everiajiing Oblivion,
In this Cafe^ fometimes, 1 have almaji rejolved never again to fee
any of my Acquaintance ; and really thought, 1 could not doit and
hold up my Face \ and have longed for the remoteji Region^ for a
Retreat from all my Friends, that I might not be feen or heard of any
more. —Sometimes the Confideration of my Ignorance has been a Means
of my great Difirefs and Anxiety, And efpecially my Soul has been
in Anguij}) with Fear, Shame, and Guilt, that ever 1 had preach' d^
or had anyThought thatfVay.—- Sometimes my Soul has been inDiJJrefs
on feeling feme particular Corruptions rife and fwell like a mighty
Torrent, with prefent Violence ; having at the fame Time, tenThou-
fand former Sins and FoIIJcj prefented to View, in all their Blacknefs
and Aggravations*--' And tkefe attended with fuch external Circum-
Jiances as mine at prefent are ; deflitute of moji cfthe Conveniences of
Life^ and 1 may fay, of all the Plea fares of it ; without a Friend /#
communicate any of my Sorrows to, andfometimes without any Plact
of Retirement, where 1 mav unburden my Soul before God.iuhich has
greatly contributed to my Difirefs.— - Of late, more efpecially ^ my
great Difficulty has been a Sort of Carelefnefs, a Kind of regardlefs
Temper of Mind, whence 1 have been difpofed to Indolence and Tri-
filng : And this Temper of Mind has confiantly been attended with
Guilt and Shame ; fo that fometimes 1 have been in a Kind of
Horror,' to find myfelffo unlike tbe bleffed God ; and have thought
I grew worfe under all my Trials ; and nothing has cut and woundc '
my Soul more than This. Oh., if J am one of God's chofen^ as Itrufi
thr^ infinite Grace I am^ I find of a Truth, that the righteous ^^re
(carcely faved J- L *^^
74
muiS. «^LIFE
*Tis apparent that one mainOccafion of that diftreflingGIoo-
mlnefs of Mind which he was fo much exercifed with ztKaunaw
meek, was Refledion on his paft Errors and mifguided Zeal at
College^ in the Beginning of the late religious Commotions in
the Land. And therefore he repeated his Endeavours this Year
for Reconciliation with the Governours of the College, whom
he had in that Time offended. Aliho' he had been at New^
Haven in June, this Year, and had attempted a Reconciliation,
as has been mentioned already, yet in the Beginning of July, he
made another Journey thither, and renewed his Attempt, but
ftill in vain.
Altho* he was much dejeded, great Part of that Space of
Time that I am now fpeakmg of, yet there were many Inter-
miirions of his Melancholy, and fome Seafpns of Comfo rt,fwect
Tranquillity and Refignation of Mind, and frequent fpecial
AfTilhnce in publick Services, that he fpeaks of in his Diary.
The Manner of his Relief from his Sorrow, once in particular,
is worthy to be mentioned in his own Words, in his Diary for
July 25, which are as follows : Had little or no Refolution for a
Life of Holinefs ; was ready almoft to renounce my Hopes of living
to God, And Oh how dark it looked, to think of being unholy for
ever ! This J could not endure. The Cry of my Soul was ihat,
P/<2/.lxv. 3. Iniquities prevail againft me. But was in fomeMea-
fure relieved by a comfortable Meditation en God's Eternity, That hi
never had a Beginning, &c. Whence 1 was led to admire his Great'
nefs and Power &c. in fuch a Manner, that Ijioodjiill i^ prais'd
the Lord for his own Glories and PerfeSfions ; tho* 1 was {and
if I Jhouid forever be) an unholy Creature, my Soul was comforted
to apprehend an eternal, infinite, powerful. Holy God.}
Saturday, July 30. Juft at Night, moved into my ownHoufe^
and lodged there that Night ; found it much better fpendingthc
Time alone in my own Houfe, than in the Wigwam where I
was before.
f.ord's-Day, July 31. Felt more comfortably than fomeDays
pa-a^.— BlefTed be the Lord, that has now given me a Place
of Retirement.-- O that I might find God in it, and that he
wc»iild dwell with me for ever.
Monday, Au^. i. Was ftiil bufy in further Labours on my
Houfe. — Felt a little of the Sweefnefs of Religion, and thought
n was worth the while to follow after God thro* a Thoufand
Snares, Defarts,anu Death it fclf. O that I might always fdlow
iiiUT H^linej}, that i may be fullv conformed to God.. Tnad
foms
of Mr. David Brainerd. A.DLi 743 . 75
fome Degree of Sweetnefs, in fecret Prayer, tho' I had much
Sorrow.
Tuefday, Aug. 1. Was ftill labouring to make my fclf more
comfortable with Regard to my Houfe and Lodging. Laboured
under fpiritual Anxiety ; It feem'd to me, 1 deferved to be
kick'd out of the World 5 yet found fome Comfort \n committing
my Cauje fo God. 'Tis good for me to be offliSied^ that 1 may die
wholly to this World and all that is in it.
Wednefday, Aug. 3. Spent moft of the Day in Wiiting.
Enjoyed fome Senfe of Religion. Thro' divine Goodnefs I am
now uninterruptedly alone \ and find my Retirement comforta-
ble. I have enjoyed more Senfe of divine Things within a few
Days laft paft, than for fomeTime before. I longed after Holi-
nefs,Humility& Meeknefs : O thatGod would enable rne \.Q.pQfi
the Time of my fojourning here in his Pear^ and always live to him,
Thurfday, Aug, 4. Was enabled to pray much, thro' iho
wholeDay ; and thro' divine Goodnefs found fome Intcnfenefs
of Soul in the Duty, as I ufed to do, anc* fome Ability to pcrfe-
vere in my Supplications : Had fome Apprchenfiorjs of divine
Things, that were engaging, and thatgaveme fome Courage and
Refolution. 'Tis good, I find, to perfevere in Attanpti to pray,
if I can't pray with Perfeverance^ i. e. continue long in my Ad-
drefTes to the divincBeing. I have generally found, that the more
1 do in fecret Prayer, the more 1 have delighted to do, and have
enjoyed more of a Spirit of Prayer : and frequently have found
the contrary, when with Journeying or otherwife, I have been
much deprived of Retirement. A fcafonable f^eadyPerformance
of fecret Duties in their proper Hours^Sc a careful Improvement
of all Time, filling up every Hour with fome profitable Labour,
either of Heart, Head, or Hant's, are excellent Means of fpiritual
Peace and Boldnefs before God. Chrili indeed is our Peart ^ and
by him we have Boldnefs of Accefs to God ; but a good Confcietice,
void of Offence^ is an excellent Preparation for an Approach mio
the divine Prefence. There is Difference between SeifConf' ^
dence and a Self-righteous pUofmg ourfelves (wiih our ownDuties,
Attainments, and fpiritual Enjoyments) which godlySouls lomc-
times are guilty of, and that holy Confidence arifmg from the
Tel^imony of a good Confcicnce, which good Hezekijh had
when he fays, Remember^ O Lord^ I bejeech lihee^ how J have
walked before thee in Truth and with a perfect Heart. Then (Oys
the holy Pfalmii!) /hall I not be afhamedy when ] have Relpeff to
all thy Commandments. Prilling up our Time with and V God
is ihc Way to rife up and lie down in Peace.
L 2 [The
/
5 ^/. 26. K^^ LIFE
[ The next eight Days, lie continued for the moft Part in a
very comfortable Frame, having his Mind fixed and fweedy en-
gaged in Religion ; and more than once bleflesGodjihat he had
given him a \ht\cCottagey where he might live alone, and enjoy
a l»ppy Retirement, free from Noife and Difturbance, and
could at any Hour of the Day lay afide all Studies, and fpend
Time in lifting up his Soul to God for fpiritual BlefHngs.]
Saturday, Ji/g, 13. Was enabled in fecretPrayer to raife my
Soul to God, with Defire and Delighr. It was indeed a blefTed"
Seafon to my Soul : I found the Comfort of being a Cbriftian :
/ counted the Sufferings of the prefent Life not worthy to he
compared with the Glory of divine Enjoyments, even in this
World. All my paft Sorrows feemed kindly to difappear,
and*I remembrednomore the Sorrow^ for Joy -— O, how kindly,
and with what a filial Tendernefs, the Soul hangs on, and con-
fides in the Rock of j^ges^zi fuch a Seafon, that he will never leave
it nor for fake it, that he will caufe all Things to work together
for its Good^ Uc / 1 longed, that others fhould know how
good a God the Lord is. My Soul was full of Tendernefs and
J^ove, evfen to the moft inveterate of my Enemies : 1 long'd
they iLould (hare in the fame Mercy. 1 loved and longed
that God fhould do juft as he pleafed, with me and every
Thing elfe. I felt exceeding ferious, calm and peaceful,
tnd encouraged to prefs after Holinefs as long as I live, whatever
Di'^culties and Trials may be m my Way. May the Lord
always help mc fo to do .- AmeUy and Jmen !
Lord's-Day, Aug. 14. I had much more Freedom in publick,
than in private. God enabled me to fpeak with foroe feeling
I'enfe of divine Things ; but perceived no confiderable Effc61.
Monday, Aug. 15. Spent moft of the Day in Labour to pro-
cure fomething to kee^ my Horfe on in the Winter.— -Enjoyed
not much Sweetnefs in the Morning : Was very v^eak in Body,
through the Day, and tho*t this frail Body would focn drop
into ibeDufl : Had u^me very lealizingApprehenfionsof a fpeedy
Entrance into another World. And in this weak State of
Body, was not a little diftrefled for want of fuitable Food. Had
no Bicad , nor could I get any. I am forced to go or fend ten or
^Uciin Miles for all the Bread I eat ; and Icmctimcs 'tis mouldy
and foure, before i eat it, if 1 get any confiderable Quantity :
And then again I have rone for feme Days together, for want
o»' 2!V Opportunity to fend for it, aiid can*t find my Horfe h\
the VV^o.:)d 3 to go my felf ; ?.nd this was my Cafe now: But
tfe.'o' divine CiOodnef* i hft«l f*mc Indian Meai, of whi'cj. ;''
(9/ Mr. David Brainerd. A.D. 1743. 77
made little Cakes, and fried them. Yet felt contented with my
Circumftances, and fvveetly refigned to God. In Prayer I en-
joyed great Freedom ; and blefs'd God as much for my prefent
Circumftances, as if I had been a King ; and thought, I found
a Difpofition to be contented in any Circumftances • BlciTed be
God !
[The reft of this Week, he was exceeding weak in Body
and much cxercifed with Pain ; and yet obliged from Day to
"Day to labour hard, to procure Fodder for his Horfe ; except-
ing fome Part of the Time he was fo very ill, that he was neither
able to work nor ftudy : But fpeaks of Longings afterHolinefs and
per fe6l Conformity to God ; complains of enjoying but little
of God ; yet fays, That little was better to him, than all the
World befides. In his Diary for Saturday, he fays. He was
fomething Melancholy and forrowful in Mind ; and adds, /
never feel comfortably^ but when 1 find Tiiy Soul gmng forth after
God : If lean* t be holy, I mufi necfijfarily be mi fer able for ever. ^
Lord's-Day, Aug. 21. Was much ftraiten'd in theForenoon-
Exercife : my Thoughts feem*d to be all fcatter'd to the Ends
of the Earth. At Noon, I fell down before the Lord, and
groan'd under my Vilenefs, Barrennefs, Dcadncfs, and felt as if
I was guilty of Soul-Murther, in fpeaking to immortal Souls in
fuch a Manner as I had then done.—- In the Afternoon, God
was pleas'd to give me fome Afliftance, and I was enabled to
fet before my Hearers the Nature and Neceftity of true Repen*-
tance, ls?c. Afterwards had fome fcnall Degree of Thankfulnefs.
Was very ill and full of Pain in the Evening ; and my Soul
mourned that I had fpent fo much Time to fo little Profit.
Monday, Aug. 22. Spent moft of the Day in Study ; and
found my bodily Strength in a Meafure reftored. Had fome
intenfe and paflionate Breathings of Soul after Holinef:?, and
very clear Manifeifations of my utter Inability to procure. Or
work it in my felf ; 'tis wholly owing to the Power of Goc'.
O, with what Tendernefs the Love and Defire of Holinefs
fills the Soul ! I wanted to wing out of my felf, (o God ; or
rather to get a Conformity to 'Him : But alas, I can't add to my
Stature in Grace one Cubit. Hov;cver, my Soul csn nevi r
leave ftriving for i( ; or at Icafl groaning, th:5t it can't ftrive
for it, and obtain more Purity of FIcart. -— At Night, I fpenc
fomsTime in inflruc^ing my poor People : Ob, that God \vou!d
pity their Souls.
Tuefday, /far. 23. Studied in the Forenoon, and cij'"\'d
ume FiCC'Jom. '' In the Afternoonj li»bou;ed Abroad : Effrfei-
78 JEf. 26. ne LIFE
voured to pray mtich ; but found not much Swcetnefs or In-
tenfenefs of Mind. Towards Night, was very weary, & tir'd
of this World of Sorrow : The Thoughts of Death & Immor-
tality appeared very defirablcjand even refrelh'd my Soul. Thofe
Lines turned in my Mind with PJeafure,
Com, Death, Jhake Hands ; Vll kifs ib'^ Bands :
'T:s Happimfs for me to die.
What ! Do/i thou think, that Iwilljhrink ?
ni go to Immortality,
In Evening-Prayer, God was pleafed to draw near my Soul,
tho' very finful and unworthy : Was enabled to wreftle with
God, and to perfevere in my Requefts for Grace : I poured out
my Soul for all the World, Friends and Enemies. My Soul
was concerned, not fo much for Souls as fuch, but rather for
Chrift's Kingdom, that it might appear in the World, that God
might be known to be God, in the whole Earth. And Oh, my
Soul abhor'd the very Thought of a Party in Religion ! Let the
Truth of God appear, wherever it is ; and God have theGlory
for ever. Amen. This was indeed a comfortable Seafon : I
tho't I had fome fmall Tafte of, and real Relifh for the Enjoy-
ments and Employments of the upper World. O that mySoul
was more atremper'd to it.
Wednefday, Aug. 24. Spent fome Time, in the Morning, in
Study and Prayer. Afterwards, was engaged in fome necefiary
Bufinefs Abroad. Towards Night, found a littleTime for fome
particular Scudies. I thought, ifGodfhould fay, Ceafe making
Am Provifion for this Lifgy for you fljall in a few Days go out of
Time into Eternity., my Soul would leap for Joy. O that I may
both deftre to be dijfolvedto be with Chrift^ and like wife wait pati-
intly all the Days of my appointed Time Uill my Change come. - — But
alas, I am very unfit for the Bufinefs 3* Bleffednefs of Heaven.—
O for more Holinefs.
Tbuifday, Aug. 25. Part of the Day, engaged in Studies ;
and part, in Labour Abroad. I find, 'tis impoiTible to enjoy
Peace and Tranquillity of Mind without a careful Improvement
of Time. This is really an Imitation of God and Chriii Jefus :
My Father war keth hitherto^ and 1 work, fays our Lord. But
ftill, if we would belike God, we mud fee that we fill up our
Time for him.--- 1 daily long to dwell in perfe(ft Light & Love.
In the mean Time my Soul mourn^-, that 1 make To little Pro-
grefs in (jracc atid Preparation for the World of BleUVdncfs : {
fef aiwi kflQw that i am a very barren Tree in God's Vineyard
of Mr. David Brainerd. A.D. 1743. 79
and that he might juftly fay. Cut it down &c. O that God
would make me more lively and vigorous in Grace; for his own
Glory ! Amen,
[The two nextDays, he was much engaged in fome neceflary
Labours, in whicl^heextreamly fpent himfelf. He fcems,ihe(e
Days to have had a great Senfe of the Vanity of the World ;
and continued Longings after Holincfs, and more Fervency of
Spirit in the Service of God.]
LordVDay, Aug. 28. Was much perp!ex*d with fome irre*
ligious Dutch-men. AH their Difcourfe turned upon tbcThings
of the World : which was nofmall Exercife to m/ Mind. Oh,
what a HeH it would be to fpend an Eternity wih fuch Men !
Well mi^tDavid fay, 1 beheld theTranfgrtJfors^iff was grieved. —
But, adored be God, Heaven is a Place, into which no unclean
Thing enters. Oh, I long for the Holinefs of that World ! Lord,
prepare me therefor.
[The next Day, he fet out on a Journey to New-Tork. Was
fomething dejeded, the two firft Days of his Journey ; but yet
feems to have enjoyed fome Degrees of the fcnfibie Prefence of
God.]
Wednefday, Aug. 31. Rode down to Bethlehem : Was in a
fweet, ferious, and, I hope, Chriftian Frame, when I came
there ; Eternal Things engrofs'd all my Thoughts ; and I long'd
to be in the World of Spirits. O how happy i$ it, to have all
our Thoughts fwallowed up in that World ; to feci one's kli a
ferious confiderate Stranger in this World, diligently feeking a
Road thro* it, the bcft, the furc Road to the heavenly Jeru*
falem !
Thurfday, Sepiemh. i. Rode to Danbury. Was more dull
and dejected in Spirit, than Yefterday. Indeed, I always feci
comfortably, when God realizes Death and the Things of ano-
ther World to my Mind : Whenever my Mind is taken cfF
from the Things of this World, and fet on God, my Soul is
then at Reft.
[He went forward on his Journey, and came toNefv-Tofi on
the next Monday. And after tarrying there two or threeDnys,
fet out from theCity towzrdsNeW'fJaveny intending to be there
^t fhe Commencement ; and on Friday came to Horfe-^tck,
In
go JEi. 16. ne LIFE
In the mean T/me, he complains much of Duhicfs, and Want
of Fervour in Religion : But yet from Time to Time, fpeaks
ofhis enjoying fpiritual Warmth and Sweetnefs in Converfation
with Chriftian Friends, AfTiftanoe in publick Services, ^V.]
Saturday, Sept* 10. Rode fix Miles to Sianwich, and preach*d
to a confiderable Ailembly of People. Had fomc AiTiftance
and Freedom, efpecialiy towards the Clofe. Endeavoured much
afterwards, in private Converfation, to eftabiijfh Holiaefs, Hu-
mility, Meeknefs i2fc, as the Eflence of true Religion ; and to
moderate fome noify Sort of Perfons, that appeared to me to be
ad^ed by unfeen fpiritualPride. Alas,whatExtreams Men incline
to run into I — Returned ioHorfe-Neck^zn^ felt fome Serioufnefs
and fweet Solemnity in the Eveaing.
LordVDay, Sept, 11. In the Afternoon, preach'd from
*ritus iii. 8. I think, God never helped me more in painting out
true Religion, and in detecting clearly, and tenderly difcounte-
nancingfalfe Appearances of Religion, Wild-fire Party- Zeal,
fpiritual Pride, ^c, as well as a confident dogmatical Spirit,and
it's Spring, viz. Ignorance of the Heart--— In the Evening,
took much Pains in private Converfation to fupprefs fome Con-
fufions, that I perceived were amongft that People.
" Monday, Sept, 12. Rode to Mr. Miih's at Ripton, Had
feme perplexing Hours ; but wzs fome Part of the Day very
comfortable. 'Tis through great Trials^ J fee, that we wuj} enter
the Gates of Pcradife, If my Soul could but be Holy, that God
might not be difhonoured, melhinks, I could bear Sorrows.
Tuefday, Sept. 13. Rode to New-Haven, Was fometimes
<3eje6led ; not ip the fweeteft PVame. Lodged at ****. Had
feme profitable Chrifiian Converfation, i^c.—'l find,tho* my in-
ward Trials are great, and a Life of Solitude gives 'em greater
Advantage to fettle and penetrate to the very iumoft Recefles of
the Soul ; yet 'tis better to be alone, than incumbeiM withNoife
and Tumult. I find it very difKcult maintaining any Senfe of
diviae Things, while removing from Place to Place, diverted
with new Objedts, and fili'd with Care and Bufinefs. A fettled
lieady Bufinefs is befl adapted to a Life of ftri(Sl Religion.
Wednefday, Sept, 14. This Day I ought to have taken my
Degree -, * but God fees fit to deny it me. And iho' I was
greatly afraid of being overwhelmed with Perplexity aad Con-
fuMon, when I fhould fee my Clafs- Mates take theirs 5 yet, in
This being Commencement Da v.
. tht
cf Mr. David Braiaerd. A.D. 1 743. g j
the very Seafon of it, God enabled me with CaJmnefs and Re-
fignation to hy ^ThePyUl of the lord bs done. Indeed, thro' divine
Goodnefs, I have fcarcely felt my Mind fo calm, fedate and
comfortable for fome Time. I have long fearM this Seafon and
cxpeifted my Humility, Meeknefs, Patience and Refignation
would be much tried f : But found much more Plcafure and
divine Comfort, than I expedted. — Felt fpiritually Serious, ten-
der and AfFecSlionate in private Prayer with a dear Chriftian
Friend to Day,
Thurfday, Sept. 15. Had fome Satisfaaion in hearing the
Miniflers difcourfe ^r. 'Tis always a Comfort to me, to
hear religious and fpiritual Difcourfe. O that Minifters and
People were more fpiritual and devoted to God.— Towards
Night, with the Advice of Chriftian Friends, I offered the folr
lowing Reflexions in Writing, to the Reilor andTruJiees of ihi
College ( which are for Subftance the fame that f had freely of-
fered to the ReSfor before, and intreated him to accept) and this
I did that if poffible I might cut off allOccafion of Scumbling and
Offence, from thofe that feek Occafion. What I offered, is
as follows.
«' Whereas I have faid before feveralPerfons, concerning Mr.
<« Whitielfey^ one of the Tutors of Tale College., that / did not
" believe he had any more Grace^than theCkair J then tean'd upon ;
•' I humbly confefs, that herein I have fm'd againft God, and
*« adled fcontrary to the Rules of his Word, and have injured
«' Mr.TFhittelfey. I had no Right to make thus free w/th his
*' Charad^er ; and had no juftReafon to fay as I did concerning
«< him. My Fault herein was the rhore Aggravated, in thatl
•' faid this concerningOne that was fo much my Supcriour, and
<' one that I was obliged to treat with fpecial Refped and Ho-
<« nour, by Reafon of the Relation I flood in to him in the
'« College. Such a Manner of Behaviour, I confefs, did not
*' become a Chriftian 5 it was taking too much upon me, and
His Trial was the greater, in that, had it not been for the
Difpleafure of the Governcurs of the College, he would not
only on that Day have fhared with his Clafs- Mates in the
pubiick Honours which they then received, but would on
that Occafion have appeared at the Head of thatX^Iafs 5
which, if he had been with them, would have been ihi moll
numerous of anv that ever had been graduated at that
Ccllt'ge. ' ^. ,
M M
gz JEi.iS. The LIFE
<« did not favour of that humble Refpedl, that I ought to have
«« exprefsM towards Mr. IVhitufsy. I have long fince been
«< convinced of the Falfenefs of thofe Jpprehenfiom^ by which I
«« then juftified fuch a Condu6t. I have often refledled on this
«« A£l with Grief; I hope, on Account of the «Si« of it :
«« And am willing to lie low, and be abafed beforeGod andMan
«« for it. And humbly afk the Forgivenefs of the Governcurs
<< of the College, and of the whole Society ; but of Mr. Whit-
<« telfty in particular. And whereas I have been accufed by one
** Perfon of faying concerning the Rev. Re£ior of TaU-Colhge^
** that / wondered he did not expeSf to drop down dead for fining
«« theSchoLrs that followed Mr, Tennentio Milford ; Iferioufly
«« profefs, that I don't remember my faying any Thing to this
*< Purpofe. But if I did, which I am not certain I did not, I
*« utterly condemn it, and deie/i all fuch Kind of Behaviour ;
<< and especially in an Undergraduate towards the Redlor. And
«< I now appear, to judge and condemn my felf for going once to
*« the feparate Meeting in New-Haven, a little before I wasex-
«* peird, tho* the ReSfor had refufed to give me Leave, For this
*' 1 humbly afk the Rector's Forgivenefs. And whether the
«' Governoursof the College fhall ever fee Caufe to remova
«« the Academical Cenfure I lie under, or no, or to admit me
*< to the Priviledges I defire ; yet I am willing to appear, if
«* they think fit, openly to own, and to humble ray felf for
•« thofe Things I have herein confefsM.'*
God ha? made me willing to do any Thing, that I can do,
Gonfiftent with Truth, fcr the Sake of Peace, and that I might
not be a Stumbling-block and OfFence to others. For thisRea-
ion I can cheerfully forego, and give up what I verily believe,
after the mofl mature and impartial Search, is my Right, in fome
Inftances. God has given me that Difpofition, that if this were
the Cnfe, that a Man has done me an hundred Injuries^ and I
ftho' ever fo much provoked to it) have done Him one, I feel
difpofed, and heartily v/il!ing humbly to confefs myFauIt to him,
and on my Knees to afk Forgivenefs of him ; tho' at the fame
Time he fhouid jufiify himfelf in all the Injuries he has done me,
and fhouid only make Ufcof my humble Con fcHion to blacken
mv Chara<Sier the more, and reprcfcnt me 'as the only Perfon
guilty, i5fc. Yea, tho' he (hould as it v ere infult me, and fay
He knew ali this before^ and that 1 was making work for Repen-
tance^ &c. Tho' what I faid concerning MxWhittelfey was only
rpokcn in private, to a Friend or two ; and being partly over-
heard, was related to the Rc<5lor, and by h^m extorted from my
FiiCiids ;
of Mr, David Brainerd. A.D. 1 743. g^
Ff lends ; yet, feeing it was divufged and made publick, I wat
willing to confefs my Fault therein publickly.-— But 1 truft,God
iviil plead my Caufe. *
'[ThenextDay he went to Derby ; then to5<j«/i(?^ar^,wherehc
fpent the Sabbath : and fpeaks of fome fpiritual Comfort ; but
complains much of Unfixednefs, and Wandrings of Mind in
Religion.]
Monday, ^ept, 19. In the Afternoon, rode to Bethlehem^ and
there preached. Had fome Meafure of Afriftance,both inPrayer
and Preaching. I felt ferious, kind and tender towards allMan-
kind, and longed that Holinefs might fluurifli more on Earth.
* I was witnefs to the veryChri{^ianSpiritMr.5r^;W(i fhew'd
at that Time, being then at New-Haven^ and being One
that he faw fit to confult on that Occafion. (This was the
firftTime that ever 1 hadOpportunity of perfonalAcqualn-
tance with him.) There truly appeared in him a great De-
gree of Calmnefs and Humility ; without the leafl Ap-
pearance of Riling of Spirit for any ill Treatment he fup-
pofed he had fuitered, or the leaft Backwardnefs to abafe
himfelf before Them who he thought had wrong'd him.
What he did was without any Objecllon or Appearance of
Reludance, even in private to his Friends, that he freely
open'd himfelf to. Earneit Application was made on his
Behalf to the Authority of the College, that he might have
hisDegree then given him ; and particularly by theRev.Mr.
Burr^ of Newark^ one of the Correfpondents of the Hon.
Society in Scctland ; He being fent from New-Jerfey to
New-Haven^ by the reft of thcCommifIioners,for thatEnd ;
and many Arguments were ufed 5 but without Succefs.
Indeed the Governours of the College were fo far fatisfied
with the Rcfledtions Mr. Brainerd had made on himfelf,
that they appeared willing to admit him again into College ;
but not to give him VAsDegree^ 'till heftiould have remain'd
there, at Jeaft a Twelve-Month, which being contrary to
what the Correfpondents, to whom he was now engaged,
bad declared to be their Mind, he did not confent to it.
He deiired bis Degree, as he thought it would tend to his
being more extenfively ufeful ; butftill when he was deny'd
itj^, he manifeftcd nQDifappointment or Refentment.
M 2 Tuefd^y
84 ^/. 2*^. ^*^ LIFE
Tuefday, Sept. 20. Had Thoughts of going forward on my
Journey to my Indians -^ but towards Night was taken with a
hard Pain in my Teeth, and fhivering Cold, and could not
pofTibly recover a comfortable Degree of Warmth the whole
Night following. I continued very full of Pain all Night ; and
in the Morning had a very hard Fever, and Pains almoft all
over my whole Body. I had a Senfe of the divine Goodnefs in
appointing this to be the Place of my Sicknefs, viz. among my
Friends that were very Kind to me. 1 {hould probably have
periflied, if I had firft got Home to my own Houfe in the Wil-
dernefs, where 1 have none to converfe with but the poor rude
ignorant Indians. Here I faw was Mercy in the midft of
AfHi(5lion. I continued thus, moftly confined to ray Bed, *till
Friday-Night ; very full of Pain mod of the Time ; but thro*
divine Goodnefij not afraid of Death. Then the extream Folly
ofthofe appear'dto me, who put cfi" their turning to God ^ill
a Sick-Bed. Surely this is not a Time proper to prepare for
Eternity.—- On Friday-Evening my Pains went ofF fomething
fuddenly ; and 1 was exceeding weak, and almoft fainted ; but
was very comfortable the Night following. Thofe Words
PfaL cxviii.17. I frequently revolved in myMind ; and thought
we were to prize the Continuation of Life only on thisAccount,
that we n^-^y fkeiv forth God's Goodnejs and Works of Grace.
[P'rom this Time, hegradually recovered : And on the next
Tuefday was fo well as to be able to go forward on his Journey
Homewards : But was 'till the Tuefday following before he
reached KaunaumesK And feems, great Part of this Time, to
have had a very deep and lively Senfe of the Vanity and Empti-
Ti^{s of all Things here below, and of the Reality, N{;arnefs and
vafl Importance of eternal Things. ]
Tuefday, 0/?^^^r 4. ThisDay rodeHome to my ownHoufeand
People. The poor Indiav.s 2^pear*d very glad of my Return.
Found my Houfe and all Things in Safety. I prefently fell on
my Knees and bleffed God for lay fafe Return, after a long and
tedious Journey, and a Seafon of Sicknefs in feveral Places
where I had hpcr;, and after I had been fick my felf. God has
irencwed his Kindnefs tome, in preferving me onejourney more.
1 have taken many confiderablc Journeys fince this Time laft
Year, and yet God has never fufFered one of my Bones to be
broken, or any diftrefling Calamity to befall me, excepting the
ill T'urn I had in my laft Tourney ; Tho' I have bjen often ex-
pefed lo Cold and Hunger in the Wijderncfs, where th^ Com-
foiC&
of Mr, David Brainerd. A.D. 1 74^. 3^
forfs of Life were not to be had ; have frequently been loft in
the Woods ; and fometimes oblig'd to ride mich of the Night ;
and once lay out in the Woods all Night. BlefL^d beGod thac
has preferved me.
[ In his Diary for the next eleven Days, are great Complain tt
of Diftaace from God, fpiritual Pride, Corruption, and exceed-
ing Vi'ehefs He once fays, hisHeart was fo prefs'd wiihaSenfe
of his Pollution, (hat he could fcarcely have the Face and Im-
pudence (as it then appeared to him) to defire that God fhould
not damn him forever. And at another Time, he fays. He had
fo little Senfe of God, or Apprehenfion and Relifh of his Glory
and Excellency, that it made him more difpofed to Kindneft
and Tendernefs towards thofe who are blind and ignorant of
God and Things divine and heavenly.]
Lord*s-Day, OSiob. 16. In the Evening, God was pleafed td
give me a feeling Senfe of my own Unworthinefs ; but thro' di-
vine Goodnefs fuch as tended to draw, rather than drive me
from God : It filPd me withSolemnity. I retired alone ('having
at this Time a Friend with me) and poured out my Soul to
God, with much Freedom 5 and yet in Anguifli, to find my felf
fo urifpeakably finful and unworthy before a holy God. Was
now much refigned under God*s Difpenfations towards me,tho'
my Trials had been very great. But thought whether I could
be refign'd, if God {hould let the Frenchlndians come upon me,
and deprive me of my Life, or carry me away Captive ( tho' I
knew of no fpeciai Reafon then to propofe this Trial to myfelf,
more than any other) and mv Soul feem'd fo far to refl and ac-
quiefce in God, that theSting andTerror of thefeThings feem'J
in a great Meafure gone . Prefently after I came to the Indians ^
whom I was teaching to fing Pialm-Tunes that Evening, 1 re-
ceived the following Letter from Stockbridge^ bv a MefTenger
fent on the Sibbath on Purpofe, which made it appear of greater
Importance.
*« 5/r, Juftnowwe received Advices from Col. Stoddard^
" that there is the utmoft Danger of a Rupture with France*
** He has received the fame from his Excellency ourGovcrnour,
" ordering him to give Notice to ail the expofed Places, that
^' they may fecure themfelves the beft they can againfl: any
" fudden Invafion. We thought beft to fend di redly to Kau-
«« naumeeky that you may take the prudenteft Meafures for your
«^ Safety that dwell there. i am. Sir, ^c.
S5 jEt. 26. r^^ LIFE
I thought, upon reading the Contents, it came in a goodSea-
fon ; for my Heart feem'd fomething fix'd on God, and there-
fore I was not much furprized : But this News only made mc
more ferious, and taught me that I muft not pleafc my felf with
any of the Comforts of Life which I had been preparing for my
Support. Blefled be God, that gave me any Intenfenefs and
Fervency this Evening.
Monday, Odfob. 17. Had fome rifing Hopes fometimcs, that
God would arife and have Mercy on 'Zlon fpeedily. My Heart is
indeed refrefhed, when 1 have any prevailing Hopes of Z/e«'s
Profperity. O that I may fee the glorious Day, when Zion fhall
become the Joy of the whole Earth ! Truly there is nothing
that I greatly value in this lower World,
[OnTuefday,he rode ioStockhridge -, complains of being much
diverted, and having but little Life. On Wednefday, he ex-
prefies fome folemn Senfe of divine Things, and a longing to
be always doing for God with a godly Frame of Spirit.]
Thurfday, OSiob. 20. Had but little Senfe of divine Things
this Day. Alas, that fo much of my preciousTime is fpent with
fo little of God ! Thofe are tedious Days, wherein 1 have ko
Spirituality.
Friday, OSloh, 21. Returned home to Kaunaumeek : Was
glad to get alone in my littleCotiage,and to cry to that God who
Teeth in fecret and is prefent in a Wiidernefs.
Saturday, O^^i?^. 22. Had but little fenfibleCommunion with
God. This World is a dark Cloudy Manfion. Oh, when will the
Sun of Righteoufnefs fliineon my Soul withoutCefTation or Inter-
in iifion.
Lords- Day, O£ioh. 23. In iheMorning, bad a little Dawn of
Comfort arifing fromHopes of feeing gloriousDays in theChurch
of j3od : Was enabled to pray for fuch a gloriousDay with fome
Courage and Strength of Hope. In the Forenoon, treated on
the Glories of Heaven, i^c— In the Afternoon, on theMiferies
of Hell, and the Danger of going there. Had fomeFreedom and
Warmth, both Parts of the Day. And my People were \tiy
Attentive. In the Evening, two or three came to me under
Concern for their Souls; to whom I was enabled to djfcourfe
elofely, and with fome Earneftnefs and Dcfire. O that God
would be merciful to their poor Souls.
. [He
of Mr. David Bralnerd. A D. 1743. %y
[ He feems, through the whole of this Week, to have been
greatly engaged to fill up every Inch of Time in the Seivice of
God, and to have been moft dcligently employed inStudy,Prayer
and inftrudting the Indians ; and from Time to Time exprefTes
Longings of Soul after God, and the Advancement of his King-
dom,and fpiritual Comfort and Refrclhment.]
Lords- Day, OSfoh. 30. In the Morning, enjoyed fome Fixed-
nefs of Soul in Prayer, which was indeed fwect and defirable :
Was enabled to leave my felf with God, and to acquiefce in him.
At Noon, my Soul was refrefh'd with reading Rev. iii. more
cfpecially the nth and 12th Verfes. O my Soul longed for
that blefled Day, when I fliould dwell in the Temple ofGady and
^9 no more out of his immediate Prefence !
Monday, 05iob, 31. Rode to Kinderhook^ about 15 Miles
from my Place. While riding, I felt fome divine Sweetnefs in
the Thoughts of being a Pillar in the Temple of God in the upper
World, and being no more deprived of his ble/Ted Prefence and
the Senfe of his Favour^ which is better than Life. My Soul
was fo liftecTup to God, that I could pour out my Defircs to
him, for more Grace and furtherDegrees of SaniSlification,with
abundant Freedom. Oh, I longed to be more abundantly pre-
pared for that BleiTednefs, with which I was then in fome Mea-
fure refrefh'd ! — Returned Home in the Evening ; but took aa
extrcamly bad Cold by riding in the Night.
Tuefday, Novemb. I. Was very much difordcred in Body,
and fomerimes full of Pain in my Face and Teeth : Was not
able to ftudy much, and had not much fpiritual Comfort. Alas,
when God is withdrawn, all is gone I — Had fome fweetTho'ts,'*
which I could not but write down, on the Dffi^n, Nature, and
End of Chrifiianily.
Wednefday, Novemb. 2. Was ftill more indifpofc^d m Body;
and in much Pain, moft of the Diy : Had not much Comfort ;
was fcarcely able to ftudy at all ; and ftill intirely alone in the
Wildernefs. But bleftcd be the Lord, I ben*t cxpofed in the
open Aii»: I have a Houfe, and many of the Comforts of Life,
to fupport me. I have learn'd, in a Meafure, that a;! good
Things, relating both to Time and Eternity, come from God.--
In the Evening, had fome Degree of quickening in Prayer : I
think, God gave me fome Senfe of his Prefence.
Thurfday, Novemb. 3. Spent this Day in fecret Faftiiig and
Prayer, from Morning 'till-Night. Early in the Morning, bad
(! think) fome fmali Degree of AfTiftance iu Prayer. Aftsi-
vvard^j
g8 JEt.iS. T^^LIFE
wards, read the Story o^ Elijah the Prophet/i ^/«^;, xvli, xviH;,
andxix Chapters, and alfo 2 Kings ii. and iv. Chapters. My 'ooii.
was much moved, obferving the I'aith, Zeal and Power of tna^
holy Man ; how he wreftled with God in Prayer, (sfc. My Soul
fhen cried with EliJJm, IVhere is the Lord God cfEVij^hl Oh,
I longed for more Faith ! My Soul breathed after God, and
pleaded with him, that a double Portion of that Spirit, which was
given to Elijah, might re/i on me. And that which was divinely
refrefhing 2nd (frengthning to my Soul, was, I faw that God is
ihtfame that he was in the Days of Elijah. — Was enabled to
wreftic with God by Prayer, in a more afFe6lionate, fervent,
humble, intenfe, and importunate Manner, than I have far
many A4onihs pall. Nothing feem'd too hard for God to per-
form ; nothing too great for me to hope for from Him.— I
had for many AJonths intirely loft all Hopes of being made in-
ftrumental of doing any fpf cial Service for God in the World :
It has appeared intirely impoffible, that one fo black and vile
ihould be thus improved for God ! But at this Time God was
pleafed to revive this Hope.-— Afterwards read the iiid Chap, of
Excd' and on to the xxrh, and faw more of the Glomf & Majefty
of God difcovcrcd in thofe Chapters, than ever I had {ttn be-
fore ; frequently in the mean Time falling on my Knees and
crying to God for the Faith of Mofes, and for a Manifeftation
of the divine Glory. Efpecially the iiid & ivth, and Part of the
xivth& xvth Chapters, were unfpeakably fweet to my Soul : My
Soul blefled God, that he had fhewn himfelf fo gracious to his
Servants of old. The xvih Chapter feem*d to be the very Lan-
guage which mySoul utter'd toGod in theSeafon of my firft fpiri-
tual Com for t,v/ lien I had jufl got thro* i\\QRedSea,hy2, ^i?y that
I had no Expectation of. O how my Soul then rejoyced in God /
And now thofe Things came freih and lively to ray Mind ; now
my Soul blefs'd God afrefh, that he had open'd that unthought
of fVay to deliver me from the Fearcf the Egyptians, when I al-
moftdefpair'dof Lile.--- Afterwards read the Story of Jbraham's
Pilgrimage in the Land of Canaan: My Soul was melted, in
obferving his Faith^ how he lean'd on God ; how he communed
with God, and v»hat a Stranger he was here in the World.
After that, read the Story of Jofeph's Sufierings, and God's
Goodncfs to him ; BlefTed God for ihefe Examples of Faith and
Patience. My Soul was ardent in Prayer, was enabled to
Wfeftle ardently for my felf, for Chrif^ian Friends, and for the
Church of God. And felt more Dciire to fee the Power of
iioU in the Convcrfion oi Souls, vhan i have dgne for a Jong
Seafon.
c/ ^fr. David Brainerd. A.D. 1743: 87
Bcafon. Blefled be God for this Scafon of Fafting and Prayer.
May hIsGoodnefs always abide with mc%& draw mySoul toHim.'
Thurfday, Novemk 4. Rode to Kinderhook ; went quite to
HuiforCs' River y about 20 Miles from my Houfe ; performed
fome Bufinefs j and returned Home in the Evening to my own
Houfe. I had rather ride hard, and fatigue my felf, to eet
Home, than to fpend the Evening and Night amongft thofe that
have no Regard for God.
[The two next Days, he was very ill and full of Pain, proba-
bly through his riding in theNight, after a fatiguing Day's Jour-
ney onThurfday : But yet fcems to have been diligent inBufmefs.}
Monday, Novemb. 7. This Morning, the Lord afforded me
fome fpecial Afliftance in Prayer : My Mind was folemn,
fix'd, affeiStionate, and ardent in Defires after Holinefs ; and
ic\t full of Tendernefs and Love ; and my Aitedtions feemed to
be diflblved into Kindnefs and Softnefs.--fn the Evening, en-
joyed the fame comfortableAffiftance in Prayer, as in rheMorn-
ing : My Soul longed after God, and cried to him with a filial
Freedom, Reverence and Boldnefe. O that I might be intirely
consecrated and devoted to God.
[ThetV70 next Days, he complains of bodily Illnefs & Pain j
but much more of fpiritual Barrennefs and Unprofitablenefs.j
Thurfday, Nov. 10. Spent this Day in Fafting and Ptayer
alone. In theMorning,was very dull and life'efs j was fomething
melancholy and difcouraged. But after fome Time, reading
2 Kings xix Chap, my Soul was moved and affe6led ; efpecially
reading Verfe 14. and onward. I faw there was no other Way
for the afflided Children of God to take, but (o go to God
with all their Sorrows. Hezekiah, in his great Diftrefs, went
and fpread his Complaint before the Lord. I was then enabled
to fee the mighty Power of God, and my cxtreamNeed of that
Power : Was enabled to cry to God affectionately & /ardently for
his divine Power and Grace to be exercifed towards m.e.— After-
wards, read the Story of Dav^id's Trials, and obferved theCourfe
he took under them, how he ftrengthncd his Hands in God ;
whereby my Soul was carried out after Gcd, enabled to cry
to Him and rely upon Him, and felt JircTig in the Lord. Was
afterwards refrefli'd, obferving the bkfl'cd Temper that was
wrought in David by his Trials : All Biiternefs ard Defire of
N Reve^ngc
90
^/.25. The LIFE
ine in my fpiritual Conflicts. Was a little refrefh'd to find one
with whom I could converfe of inward Trials, &c.
Wednefday, Decemb, 7. Spent the Evening in Perplexity,
with a Kind of guilty Indolence. When I have no Heart or
Refolution for God and the Duties intunribent on me, 1 feel
guiltv of Negligence and MifimprovtmeHt of Time. Certainly
1 ought to be engaged in my Work and Bufmefs, to the utmoft
Extent ot my Sfrength and Ability.
Thurfday, Decemb. 8. Mv Mind was much diftradled with
difFerent AfFeJions. Seem'd to be at an amazing Diftance from
God : and looking round in the World, to fee if there was not
fome Happinefs to be derived from it^GoD, and fome certain
CbjeiSts in the World, feem*d each to invite my Heart and Af-
fections ; and my Soul feem*d to be diftra£led between them,
I have not been fo much befet with the World for a long Time ;
and that withRelation to fome particularObje6ls which I thought
my felf moft dead to. But even while I was defiring to pleafe
my felf with any Thing below. Guilt, Sorrow and Perplexity
attended the firft Motions of Defire. Indeed I can't fee the
Appearance of Pleafure and Happinefs in theWorld, as I ufed to
do : And blefled be God for any Habitual Deadnefa to the
World.- - I found no Peace, orDeliverance from thisDiftra6tion
and Perplexity of Mind, 'till I found Accefs to the Throne of
Grace : And as foon as 1 had any Senfe of God and Things di-
vine, the Allurements of the World vanifh'd, and my Heart was
determined for God. But my Soul mourned over my Folly,
that I fhould defire any Pleafure, but only in God. God forgive
my fpiritual Idolatry.
[ The next thirteenDays,he appears to have been continually
in deepConcern about the Improvement of preciousTime ; and
there are many Expreffions of Grief, that he improved Time no
tetter ; fuch as,OA, what Mifery do I feel, when my Thought rove
after Canity / 1 [houU he happy if always tngagtd for God ! O
wretched Man that I am^ &c I Speaks of his being pained with
a Senfe of hisBarrennefs, perplexed with hisWandrings, longing
for Deliverance from the Being of Sin, rnourning that Time
pift away, and (o little was done for God, i^^c.—- On Tuefday,
Decemb. 20. He fpeaks of his being vifited at Kaunaumeek by
fjme under fpiritual Concern.]
Thurfday, Decemb. 22. Spent this Day alone in Fafiing and
Prayer, and Reading in God's Word the Exercifes and Deli-
verances of God*s Children. Had, I truft, fome Exercifc of
Faiib and realizing Apprehenfion of divine Power, Grace and
^/ Mr. David Bralaerd. A.D.1743. ^r
Holinefs ; and alfoof the Unchangeablenefs of God, that he is
the fame as he was when he delivered his Saints of old out of
great Tribulation. My Soul was fundry Times in Prayer en-
larged for God's Church andPeople. O that Zion might become
the Joy of the H^hole Earth. 'Tis better to wait upon God with
Patience, than to put Confidence in any Thing *in this lower
World. My Souly wait Thou on the Lord ; for from him comes
thy Salvation,
Friday, Decemb, 23. Felt a little more Courage and Refolu-
tion in Religion, than at fonae other Times.
Saturday, Decemb. 24. Had fome Ailiftance, and longing
Dellres after Sanillfication*, in Prayer thieDay ; erpeci^lly in the
Evening : Was fenfible of my own Weaknefs and fp'rUnal [m-
potency : Saw plainly,! (hould fall into Sin, if God of hi • h^un- ^
dant Mercy did not uphold my Soui, and withold mi fro.^ Evil,
O that God would uphold me by hii free Spirit y and fave me from
the Hour of Temptation.
LordVDay, Decemb, 25. Pray'd much, in theMorning,with
a feeling Senfeof my own fpiritual Weaknefs and InfufEcicncy
for any Duty. God gave me forae Affiftancc in Preaching to
the Indians ; and efpecially in the Afternoon, when I was ena-
bled to fpeak with uncommon Plainnefs, Freedom, and Ear-
neftnefs. BlefTed be God for any Affiftance granted to one (o
unworthy. Afterwards felt fome Thankfulnefs ; but fiill fen-
fible of Barrennefs.— Spent fome Time in the Evening, with
one or twoPerfons under fpiritual Concern, and exhorting others
to their Duty, bfc,
Monday, Decemb. 26. Rode down to Siockbrid^e. Was very
much fatigued with my Journey, wherein I underwent great
Kardfhip : Was much expofed and very v/et by falling into a
River. Spent the Day and Evening without much Senfe of
divine and heavenly Things ; But felt guilty, griev'd, and per-
plcx'd with wandring carelefs Thoughts.
Tuefday, Decemb, 27. Had a fmall Degree of Warmth m
fecret Prayer, in the Evening : but, alas, had but little fpiritual
Life, and confequently but littleComfort I Oh, thePrefTurc of a
Body of Death ! *
Wedncfday, Decemb, 28. Rode about fix Miles to the Ordi-
nation of Mr. Hopkins, In the Seafon of the Solemnity was
* This Day he wrote the td Letter added at the End cf this
Hiltdry,
fomewhst
^2 jEt. 1^. Tbi LIFE A.D.1744;
•
fomewhat afFe£led with a Senfc of theGreafnefs and fmportance
of the Work of a Minifter of Chrift. Afterwards was grieved
to fee the Vanity of the Multitude. In the Evening, fpcnt a
iittle Time with fome Chnflian Friends, with fome Degree of
Satisfadtion j but moft of the Time had rather have been alone.
Tnurfday, Dtcemb. 29. Spent the Day mail, !y in converfihg
v.'ith Friends j yet enjoyed little Satisfadlion, bccaufe I ccuid
n\d but fewdifpofed to Converfe of divine and heavenly Things.
Alas, what are Things of this World, to afford Satisfadlion to
ihe Soul !-— Near Night, returned to Stockbridge ; in fecret
blefs'd God for Retirement, and that I ben't always expofed
to theCompany and Converfation of ttie World. O that I could
Jive in the Jecret of God's Prcfence*
Friday, Decemb. 30. Was in a folemn devout Frame in the
Evening. Wonder'd that Earth, with all its Charms, fhould
ever allure me in the leaft Degree. O that I could always realize
Che Being and Holinefs of God.
Saturday, Z)^ivw^. 31. Rode from Stccktridge home to my
Houfe : The Air was clear and Calm, but as Cold as ever I felt
it in the World, or near. I was in great Danger of perifhmg
by the Extremity of the Seafon.— - Was enabled to Meditate
much on the Road.
Lord's- Day, Jarrjary i. 1743,4. In the Morning, had fome
fmali Degree of AiTift^nce in Prayer. Saw my felf fo vile and
unv/orthy, that I could not look my People in the Face, when
J cam»to Preach. Oh, my Meanncfs, Folly, Ignorance, and
inward Pollution !---Iii the Evening., had a iittle Affiftance :a
Praver,fo that thcDaiy was delightfome, rather then burdenfom.
ivefle6led on the Gocdnef? of God to me in the paft Year, dffr.
Of a Truth God has been kind and gracious to me, tho* he has
caufed ine to pafs thro' many Sorrows ; he has provided for me
bomuifully, fo that 1 have been enabled, in about 15 Months
paft, to bf [low to charicablcUfes about an Hundred Pounds New-
£hgland Money, ih^t I can now remember. * Bleflcd be the
* Which was, J fuppofe, to the value of about one Hundred
end eighty five Founds in our Bills of the olJ Tenour, as
they now pafs.--- By this, as well as many other Thing:;,
it is manifcft, that his frequent Melancho'y did not arife
from the Confideration of any Difadvanta re he was laid
under to get a Living io the World^by his Lxpulfion from
the College, r ,
of Mr. David Brainerd. A.D. 1 744. 9 j
Lord, that has fo far ufed me as h'n Steward^ to diftributc a Par-
tion of his Goods. May I always remember, that all I have comes
from God. BlelTed be the Lord, that has carried me thro' all
the Toils, Fatigues, and Hardfhips of the Year paft, as well as
the fpiritual Sorrows and Conflifls that have attended if. O that
I could begin this Year with God, and friend the whole of it to
his Glory^ either in Life or Death. ' '
Monday, Jan. 2. Had fome affecting Senfeof my own Im-
potency and fpiritual Weaknefs.— - 'Tis nothing but the Power
of God that if^eeps me from all Manner of Wickednefs. I fee,
I am nothings end can do nothing without Help from above.
Oh, for divine Grace \ In the Evening, had fome Ardour of
Soul in Prayer, and longing Defires to have God for my Guide
and Safe-guard at all Times, f
Tuefday, Jan. 3.. V/as employed much of theDay inWrit-
ing ; and i*pcnt foaie Time in other ncccfiary Employment.
But my Time pafles away fo fwiftly, that I am aftonifhed v/hen
I refle-flon it, and fee how little I do in it. My State of Solitude
does not make the Hours bang heavy upon my Hinds. O what
Reafon of Thankfulnefs have I, on account of this Retirement !
I find, that 1 donU^ and it feems I can^t^ lead a Chri/lian Life,
when I am abroad, and can't fpend Time in Devotion, Chrif-
tian Converfation, and SeriousMeditation,as Ifhould do. Tiiofe
Weeks that I am obliged now to be from heme, in order to
learn the/^^V^^Tongue, are moftly fpent inPerplexity & Barren-
nefs, without much AveerRelifb of divir.eThings ; and I feel ray
felf a Stranger at theThrone of Grace. for want of more frequent
and continued Retirement. Whe^j I return Home, and giMQ
my felf to Meditation, Prayer, and Faffing, a new Scene opens
to my Mind, and my Soul longs for Mortiftcation, Self- (tenia!.
Humility, and Divorcement from all the Things of the ^Vcrld.
This Evening, my Heart was fomewhat warm and fervent in
Prayer and Meditation, fo that I was loth to indulge Si-ep. Con-
tinued in thofe Duties 'fill shout Midnight.
Wednefday, Jan. 4. Was in a reiijrned and mortififd Temper
of Mind, much of the D\y, Time appeared a Moment^ Life a
Vapour^ and ail its Enjoyments as empty Bubbles, and fleeting
Blalfsof Wind.
f I'hi? D.iy hr wrote fhe 3V UUer^ publifhed at the End of
. shis Accoun: of his Lilc.
Thurfjav,
94 .^t.i6. ri^ LIFE
Thurfday, Jan 5. Had a humbling and prcifing Senfe of my
Unworthinefs. My Senfe of the Badncfs of my own Heart filled
my Soul with Bi tier nefs and Anguifli ; which was ready to fink,
as under the Weight of a heavy Burden. And thus fpent the
Evening, 'till late.— Was fomewhat intenfe and ardent inPrayer.
Friday, Jan* 6. Feeling and confidering my extreamWeak-
nefb, and Want of Grace, the Pollution of my Soul, andDanger
of Temptations on every fide, I fet apart this Day for Fafting
andPrayer, neither eating nor drinking fromEvening toEvening,
befeeching God to have Mercy on me. And my Soul intenfely
long'd, that the dreadful Spots and Stains of Sin might be wafti'd
away from it. Saw fomething of the Power and Alfufficiency of
God. My Soul feem'd to reft on his Power andGrace ; longed
for Refignation to his Will, and Mortification to all Things here
below. My Mind v/as greatly fix'd on divine Things : My
.Refolutions for a Life of Mortification, continual Watchful-
nefs, Self-denial, S> rioufnefs, and Devotion to God, were ftrong
and fix'd ; my Defires ardent and Intenfe ; my Confcience
tender, and afraid of every Appearance of Evil. My Soul grieved
with the Reflection on paft Levity, and Want of Refolution for
God. I folemnly renewed my Dedication of my felf to God,
and longed for Grace to enable me always to keep Covenant
v/ith him. Time appeared very fhort. Eternity near ; and a
great Name, either in or after Life, together with all earthly
Pleafures and Profits, but an empty Bubble, a deluding Dream.
Saturday, Jan. 7. Spent this Day in Serioufnefs, with fted-
faft ReK:»lutions for God and a Life of Mortification. Studied
clofcly, *till I felt my bodily Strength fail. Felt fome Degree of
Refignation to God, with an Acquiefcence in hisDifpenfations.
Was grieved, that I could do fo little for God before my bodily
Strength faiTd.--- In the Evening, tho' tired, yet was enabled to
continue inftant in Prayer for fome Time. Spent the Time in
Reading, Meditation, and Prayer, 'till the Evening was far
fpent : vVas grieved, to think that I could not watch unto Prayer
t!je whole Night.-- But bleffeii be God, Heaven is a Place of
contii ual a;)d inceffant Devotion, tho' Earth is dull.
[The fix Days following, he continued in the fame happy
PVi;rne of Mind ; enjoyed the fame Compofure,Calmnefs, Re-
%nauon, ardent Dcfire and fweet Fervency of Spirit, in a high
Degree, every Day, not one excepted. Thurfday, this Wcek>
be kept 23 s Day of fccret Falling and Prayer.]
^?
aturca
of Mr. David Brainerd* h .D. 1 744. 95
Saturday, Jan. 14, This Morning, enjoyed a moft folemn
Seafon in Prayer : My Soul feem'd enlarged and a/Tiftcd to pour
out it felf to God for Grace, and for every Bleflingl wanted,
for my {€ii^ my dear Chriftian Friends, and for the Church of
God ; and was fo enabled to fee him who u inviftble^ that tnv
Soul rejied upon him for the Performance of every Thing I afked
agreable to his Will. It was then my Happinefs, to continue
inftant in Prayer^ and was enabled to continue in it for near an
Hour. My Soul was thenjirong in the Lord and in the Power of
his Might : Long'd exceedingly for angelick Holinefs and Purity,
^nd to have all my Thoughts, at all Times, employed in divine
and heavenly Things. O how blefTed is an heavenly Temper I
O how unfpeakably blefled it is, to feel a Meafure of that ReiSli-
tede, in which we were at firft created !-— Felt the fame divine
Afliftance in Prayer fundry Times in the Day. My Soul cch-
fided in God for m^ felf, and for his Xion ; trufied in divine
Power and Grace, that he would do glorious Things m his
Churchj on £arth, for his own Glory.
[ The next Day he fpeaks of fome Glimpfes he had of the di-
vine Glories, and of his being enabled to maintain his Refoluiions
in feme Meafure ; but complains, that he could not draw ne^c
toGod : Seems to be fili'd with tremblingFears left he fliouid re-
turn to a Life of Vanity, to pleafe himfelf with feme of ths
Enjoyments of this lower World j and fpeaks of his being much
troubled, and feeling guilty, that he (hould addrefs immortal
Souls with no more Ardency and Defire of their Salvation.
Monday, he rods down to SiscUridgc, was diftrefs'd v/ith"i
extream Cold : But notwithftanding, his Mind was in a dcvo
and folemn Frame in his Journey. The four next Day?, he
was very ill, probably by his fufrering from the Cold in hh Jc'ur-
ney ; yet he iays he ipent the Time in a more folemn Manner
than he fear'd. On Friday Evening, he rode down and vifired
Mr. Hopkins I and on Saturday, rode i8 Miles to 5<?//^«r>, where
he kept Sabbath, and enjoyed confiderable Degrees of God's
gracious Prefence.,Affiftance in Duty, and divine Comfort ard
Refrelhmentj longing to give himfelf wholly to God, to bs
hfs forever.]
Monday, Jan. 23. I think I never felt more refigned to
God, nor io much dead to theWorld, in every Refpf;cV,asn£»W ;
Was dead to all Ddire of Reputation and Greatnefs, either in
Life or afterDeath : All I longed for, was to be holy, htynble,
cmcifisd to the World ^;.
O Tuefcay,
96 ^/. 26. Tk LIFE
" Tuefday, Jan, 24. Near Noon, rode over toCanaan. In the
Evening, was unexpe£ledly vifited by a confiderable Number of
People, with whom I was enabled to converfe profitably of di-
vineThings: Took Pains to defcribe the DifFerence between a
I'egular and irreguIar5^//^-/(?z;^ : The one confifting with aSupream
Love to God, but the othernot ; The former uniting God's
Glory and the Soul's Happinefs, that they become one common
Intereft, but the latter disjoyningand feparating God's Glory
and the Man's Happinefs, feeking the latter with a Negledl of
the former. Illuftrated this by that genuine Love that is found
betwf en theSexes ; which is diverfe from that which is wrought
up towards a Perfon only by rational Arguments, or Hope of
Self-Intereft. Love is a pleafingPaflioHjit afFordsPleafure to the
Mind where it is ; but yet true genuine Love is not nor can be
placed upon any Obje6l with that Defign of pleafmg itfelf with
the feeling of it in a Man's own Breaft.
[ On Wednefday, he rode to Hhcff^JA ; the next Day., to
Stockbridge : And on Saturday, home to Kaunaumeek^ tho' the
Feafon was Cold and Stormy : Which Journey was followed
with lilnefs and Pain. It appears by his Diary, that he fpent
the Time, while riding, in profitable Meditations, and in lifting
up his Heart to God ; and he fpeaks of Affiftance, Comfort,
and Rtfrefliment ; but f^ill complains ofBarrennefs, ^c. His
Diary for the five next Days is full of the mofl heavy bitterCom-
plaints ; and he expreiTes himfelf as full of Shame ^nd Self-loath-
ing for his lifelefs Temper of Mind andSluggifhnefs of Spirit, and
asteing in Perplexity and Extremity, and appearing to himfelf
unfpeakably vile and guilty before God on Account of fome in-
ward workings ofCorruption he found in his Heart, ^^.]
Thurfday, Feb, 2. Spent this Day in Fading and Prayer,
feeking the Pr efence ^nd AfTiftance of God, that he would.ena-
b'e me to overcome all my Corruptions and fpirituai Enemies.
Fiiday, Feb. 3. Enjoy'd more Freedom and Comfort than
nf late ; was intenfely engaged in Meditation upon the different
Vv^hifpers of the variousPowers andAfFedions of a pious Mind,
t:-:ercifcd with a greatvaricty ofDifpenfations: And could not but
Wiite 35 well as meditate on To entertaining aSubje6t. * 1 hope.
; find what he wrote on this Head amons; his Paper?, that
were left in my H?.nd, and it i;; here pubhilicd at ihcEndof
this Account of hia Life.
c/ Mr. David Brainerd. A.D. 1744. ^57
the Lord gave me fome true Senfe of divine Things this Day :
But alas, how great and preffing are the Remains of indwelling
Corruption ! I am now more fenfible than ever, that God alone
is the Author and Fimjher of our Faith \ i. e. that the whole and
every Part of Sanguification, and every good Word, Work, or
Thought, that is found in me, is the Effect of his Power and
Grace ; that without him 1 can do ISioihing^ in the fln'deft
Senfe ; and that ke worh in us to will and to do of hii ciun pcod
Pleafure^ and from no other Motive. Ob, how amazing it is
that People can talk fo much about Men*sPower and Goodnefs ;
when, if God did not hold us back every Moment, v/e fhould
be Devils incarnate ! This my bitter Experience, for feveral
Days laft paft, has abundantly taught me concerning my kU,
Saturday, Feb. 4. Enjoy'd fome Degree of Freedom snd
fpiritualRefrefliment ; was enabled to pray v/iih fomeFervency,
and longing Defires of Xion^s Profperity ; and my Faith and
Hope feems to iah hold of God^ for the Performance of what f
was enabled to plead for. San6lification in my k]f^ and the In-
gathering of God's Eled, was all my Defire -, and the Hope of
its Accomplifhment, all my ^oy.
Lords-Day, Feb. 5. VVas enabled in fome Meafure to reft
and confide in God, and to prize his Prefence and fomeGlimpfes
of the Light of his Countenance, above my neceffary Food.
Thought my felf, after the Seafon of Weaknefs, Temptation,
and DefertionI endured the laft Week, to be fcmewhat like
Samfon when his Locks began to grow again. Was enabled to
preach to my People with more Life and Warmth, than I have
for fome Weeks paft.
Monday, Feb. 6. This Morning, my Sou] again was ftrengfh-
ned in God, and found fom.e fweet Repofe in him in Prayer :
Longing efpecially for the complcai Mortification of Senfualitv
and Pfidej and for Refignation to God*s Difpenfaujns, at ail
Times, as thro' Grace 1 felt it at this Time. I did not defire
Deliverance from any Difficulty, that attends my Circurnftsn-
ces, unlefs God was willing. O how ccmfortiible is this Tcm-
ppr |... Spent moft of the Day in reading God's Word, iw
Writing, and Prayer. Enjoyed repeated and frequent Comfort,
and Inienfenefs of SoftI in P-ayer thro' the Day. In the Even-
ing, f^^ent fome Hours in private Converfation with my People ;
^nd afterwards, felt fome Warmth in fecret Prayer.
Tuefday, Feb. 7. Was much engaged in fome fweet Medi-
tations on the Powers and •Aff'eiSiionsoLthe godly Soul in thei;-
Puifijit of their belovedObjea : WroteTomelhing of the nutr.e
O 2 Language
9^ AY 26. T^^LIFE
Language of fplritual Senfation, in its foft and tender Whifpers 5
declaring, that it now feels and ta/ies that the Lord is gracious 5
that he is the Supreme Good, the onlySoui-fatisfying Happincfs ;
that he is a Compleat, Sufficient, and Almighty Portion : faying,
«' If^horn have I in Heaven but Thee ? And there is none upon
<« Earth that 1 defire^beftdes this blefled Portion. O, I /eel 'tis
<« Heaven to ple^fe him, and to be juft what he would have me
<« 10 be ! O that my Soul were Holy^ as heisHoly ! O that it
<« were pure even as Chrijl is pure ; and pe^feSi^ as my Father in
*< Heaven is perfe6f I Thefe, I feel,aie the fweeteft Commands
*' in God's Book, comprifiLg ell others. And fliall I break
*« them » Muft I break 'em ! Am I under a Neceflity of it as
<« Icn;^ as I live in the World ! O mySoul, Wo, Wo is me that
<« I am a Sinner, becaufe i now neceflarily grieve and offend this
*« blefTed God, who is infinite in Goodnefs and Grace ! Oh,
'-« methinks, if he would p unifh me for my Sins, it would not
«« wound myFIeart fo deep to offend him : But tho' I fm con-
'« tinually, yet he continually repeats hisKindnefs to me ! Oh,
«« Methinks I ccuid bear any fuffering ; but how can I bear to
<< grieve and d;fhonour this blefTed God ! How fhall I yield
<•' ten Thoufand 7'imes more Honour to him ? What fhall I
*' do to glGrify &: worfbip this beft of Beings ? O that I could
'' coiiiecrate my fclf, Soul and Body, to his Service forever. O
»^« that! could give up my felf to him fo as never more to attempt
*' to be my own, or to have any Will or AfFe<5lions that are
«' not perfeiSliy confoi med to him. But, ala:,alas,l find I can't
<« be thus entirely devoted to God : I can't live and not fin.
*« O yi Angels, do ye glorify him incefTantly ; and if poffible,
«-' priflrateyouifelves lower before the blefled King of Heaven.
♦' I long to bear a Part v.'ith you ; and, if it were poffible, to
*' help you. Oh, when we have done all that we can, to all
'^ Esernicy, we (liall not be able to oiFer the ten Thoufandth
^* Part of the Homage that the glorious God deferves !"
Felt fomethin^ fpiritua), devout, refigned, and mortified to
the World, much of the Day ; and efpecially towards aad in
ihe Evening. BitiTcd be God, that he enables me to Icve him
for himfeif.
Vv edneii'j) , Feb. 8. Was in a comfortable Frame of Soul,
jnofi of iheDay ; tho' fenfible of and ref^lefs under fpiritu?.] Bas-
lennets. i find that both Mind andBody are quickly ti.~ed with
intcnfcnefs and Fervour in theThin^s of God. O that I toiild
txas incc'T^!;: ar^ An^^ih m DcvoLion and fplritual fcjvour.
of Mr. David Brainerd. A.D. 1 744. 9^
: Thurfr^ay, Feb. 9, Obferved this Day as aDay of Fafting and
prayer, intreating of God to beftow upon me his Blefling and
Grace ; efpecially to enable me to live a Life of Moriification
to the World, as well as of Refignation and Patience. Enjoy'd
fome realizing Senfe of divine Power and Goodnefs in Prayer,
leveral Times ; and was enabled to roll the Burden of my felf
and Friends, and of Ziotiy upon theGoodnefs andGrace of God :
But, in the general, was more dry and barren than I have ufually
been of late upon fuch Occafions.
Friday, Feb. 10. Was exceedingly opprefs'd, moft of the
Day, withShame, Grief and Fear, under a Senfe of my paftFolly,
as well as prefent Barrennefs and Coldnefs. When God fetr. be-
fore me my paft Mifcondudl, efpecially any Inftances of mi/guid-
ed Zeal, it (inks my Soul into Shame and Confufion, makes me
afraid of a fhaking Leaf. My Fear is fuch as the ProphetJ^r^f-
my complains of, ^er. xx. 10.-— I have no Confidence to bold
up my Face, even before my Fellow- Worms ; but only when
my Soul confides in God, and I find the fweetTemper of Chrift,
the Spirrt of Humility, Solemnity, and Mortification, and Re-
fignation, alive in my Soul.— But, in the Evening, was unex-
peiSiedly refrefh'd in pouring out my Complaint to God : MyShame
and Fear was turned into a fweet Compofure and Acquiefcence
in God.
Saturday, Feb. 11. Felt much as Ycderday : enjoyed but
little (enfible Communion with God.
Lords-Day, Feb. 12. My Soul feem*.d to confide in God, and
to repofe itfelf on him ; .and had out-goings of Soul after God in
Prayer. Enjoyed fome divine Aififtance, in the Forenoon, \a
Preaching ; but in the Afternoon, was more perplex'd with
Shame bV. Afterwajr's, found fomeReiief inPrayer : Lov'd, as
a feeble afflidted defpifedCre3ture,to caft myfelf onaGod of infi-
r.ice Grace andGoodnefs, hoping for noHappinefs but from him.
Monday, Feb. 13. Was Calm andSedate in Morning-Devo-
tions ; and my Soul feem*d to rely on God.— Rode to Stock-
bridge^ and enjoyed fome comfortable M^editations by theWay :
Had a more refrefhing Tafte and Relifh of heavenly BleiTednefs,
than I have enjoy'd for many Months paft. 1 have m-anyTimes,
of late, felt as ardent Defires of Holinefs as ever : ^\it not fo
much Senfe of the Sweetnefs and uafpeakable Pleafare of theEn-
.joyments and Employments of Heaven. My Soul longed to
jcave Earth, and bear a Part with Angeis in their celeltial £m-
pioyments. My Soul faid, L')rd, it is good to be here ; and it
r;- scared to me better to die, than to lofe the Relifli of th^fe
;....:- !v Delights, [-^
1 GO
JEt.iS, The LIFE
[ A Senfe of divineThings feem'd to continue with him,ina
JefierDegree,thro'thenextDay. OnWednefday he was,by fome
Difcoud'e that he heard, caft into a melancholyGloom, that ope-
rated much in the fameManner as hisMelancholy had formeriy
done, when he came firft ioKaunaumeek ; TheEfFe(Els of which
feem'd to continue ,in fjme Degree the fix following Days.]
Wednefday, Feb. 22. In the Morning, had as clear a Senfe
of the exceeding Pollutionof my Nature, as ever I remember to
have had in my Life. I then appeared to my felf inexprefTibly
loathfom, & defiled : Sins of Childhood, of early Youth, and fuch
Follies as 1 had not thought of for Years together, (as I remem-
ber) came now frefli to my View, as if committed but Yefter-
day, and appeared in the moft odious Colours : They appeared
more in Number than the Hairs of my Head : Yea, they went
ever my Head as an heavy Burden,—- In the Evening, the Hand
of Faith feem'd to be Ihengthen'd in God : My Soul feemed
10 reft and acquiefce in him : Was fupported under myBurdens,
reading the cxxv. Pfalni : Found that it was fvveet and co^iifor-
tab!e to lean on God.
Thurfday, Feb, 23. Was frequent in Prayer, and enjoyed
fome Affiilance.— There is a God in Heaven^ that over-rules all
Things for the beft ; and this is theComfort of my Soul : 1 had
fainted^ unUjs 1 hsd believed to fee the Goodnejs of God in the Land
cfthe Livings notwiihftanding prefent Sorrows.— In the Even-
ing, enjoyed fome Freedom in Prayer, for my felf, Friends, and
the Church of God.
Friday, Feb, 24. Was exceeding refflefs and perplexM under
a Sciife of the IVIiiiniprovement of Time ; Mourn'd to feeTime
pafs away ; Felt in the greatefl Hurry ; feem'd to have every
'i^hing to do : Yet could do Nothing, but only grieve and groan
under my Ignorance, Unprofitiiblene(s, Meannefs, the Foolifh-
refs of my Adtions and Thoughts, the Pride and Bitternefs of
my paft Frames (at fome Times,at IcaftJ all which at thisTime
appeared to me in lively Colours, and fill'd me with Shame. I
could not compofe my Mind to any profitable Studies, by Rea-
fon of this Prelfurc. ' And the Reafon, I judge, why I am not
allowed to Study, a great Part of my Time, is, becaufe lam
endeavouring to lay in fuch aSiock ofKnowledge, as fliall be 4
Sclf-Sulncicncy.--- I know it to be my indifpcnfable Duty to
Study, arjd qualify my felf \\\ the befl Manner 1 caw for publick
."■■cfvice; But this is rny Miferv, I naturally Study and prepare,
:'.<r f vx^x c'.njume it upon my Lu/ls of Pride andSdf- Confidence.
of Mr. David Brainerd. A.D. 1 744: lor
[ He CGntlriued in much the fame Frame ofUneafinefs at the
Mifimprovement of Time, and PrefTure of Spirit under a Senfe
of Vilenefs, Unprofitablenefs ^f. for the fix next following
Days ; excepting fome Intervals of Calmnefs and Compofure,
in Refignation to and Confidence in God.]
Friday, March 2. Was moft of the Day employed in Writ-
ing on a divine Subje£l. Was frequent in Prayer, and enjoy'd
fome fmall Degree of Affiftance. But in the Evening, God was
pleafed to grant me a divine Sweetnefs in Prayer ; efpecially in
the Duty of Interceilion. f think, I never felt fo much Kind-
nefs and Love to thofe who I have Reafon to think are my
Enemies (tho* at that Time I found fuch a iDifpofition to think
the beft of all, that I fcarce knew how to think that any fuch
Thing as Enmity and Hatred lodg'd in afiy Soul ; it feem'd as
if all the World muft needs be Friends) and never pray'd with
more Freedom and Delight, for my felf, or deareft Friend, than
I did now for my Enemies.
Saturday, March 3. In the Morning, fpent ( I believe ) an
Hour in Prayer, with great Intenfenefs and Freedom, and with
the mofl foft and tender Affed-ion towards Mankind. I longed
that thofe who I have Reafon to think owe me 111- Will, might
be eternally happy: It feem'drefrefhing,to think of meeting tHcm
inHeaven,how much foever they had injured me onEarth ; Had
noDifpofition to infiit upon anyConfeiTion from them, in order to
Reconciliation & theExercife ofLove ^Kindnefs to them. O'tis
anEmblem of Heaven it felf, to love all the World with a Love
of Kindnefs, Forgivenefs, and Benevolence ; To feel our Soula
fedate, mild and meek ; to be void of all evil Surmifings and
Sufpicions, and fcarce able to think Evil of any Man upon anv
Occafion ; To find ourHearts fimple, open, and free, to thole
that look upon us v/ith a different Eye !-— Prayer was fo fvvect
an Exercife to me, that I knew not how to ceafe, h^l fhould
lofe the Spirit of Prayer. Felt no Difpcfition to eat or drink,
for the fake of the Pleafure of it, but only to fupport my Na-
ture, and fit me for divine Service. Could not be content
without a very particular mention of a great Number of dear
Friends at the Throne of Grace -, as alfo the particularCircum-
ftances of many, fo far as they were krrown.
Lords-Day, Nov. 4. In the Morning, enjoyed the fame In-
tciifenefs in Prayer as Yei^erday- Morning ; iho' not info prea:
.1 Degree : Fek the fame Spirit of Love,univcrfal Benevolence,
rgivenefs, Humility, Refignation, Mcnificaticn to theVv'or/J,
, ; r,^,7-, n-.fufe of Mcnd^as then. My Soul rtfcd hi God \ 2nd
1
I02 JEt.26. IheX^lVE
I found, I wanted no cthcrRefuge or Friend, While my Soul
thus trufts in God, all Things feem to be at Peace with me,
even the Stones of the Earth : But when I can't apprehend and
confide in God, all Things appear with a diifferent Afpeft,
[Through the four next Days, he complains of Barrennefs,
want of holy Confidence in God, Stupidity, Wandrings of
Mind, ^c. and fpeaks of Oppreffion of Mind under a Senfe of
exceed ingMeannefs, paft Follies, as well as prefent Workings of
Corruption.— On Friday, he feems to have been reftored to a
confiderableDegree of the fame excellentFrame that he enjoyed
the Saturday before/]
Saturday, March lo. In the Morning, felt exceeding dead
to the World and all its Enjoyments : I thought, 1 was ready
?nd willing to give upLifeand all its Comforts, as foon as called
to it : And yet then had as muchComfortof Life as almoft ever
I had. Life itfelf now appeared but an empty Bubble : The
Riches, Honoars, and coramonEnjoymenis of Life appeared ex-
tremely taftlefs. I longed to be perpetually and entirely crucified
tt^ all Things here below, by the Croji cf Chri/i. My Soul was
fweetly rcfigned toGod's Difpofal of me, in every Regard j andl
fivv, there had nothing happened to me but what was belt for me.
) confided in God, that he would never leave me y tho' I fhould
tuaik thro' the. Valley of the Shadow of Death. It was then my
Meat and Drink to be holy, to live to the Lord, and die to the
Lord: And I thought, that I then enjoyed fuch a Heaven, as
far exceeded the moft fublime Conceptions of an unregenerate
Soul ; and even unfpeakably beyond what I my felf could con-
ceive of at another Time. ,1 did not wonder, that Peter faid.
Lord, it is gocd to be ^frf,when thus rcfrefh'd with divineGlorier.
My Soul was full of Love and Tendernefs in the Duty of Inter-
cefiion ; efpecially felt a moft fweet Affe6tion to fome precious
oodly Minifters, of my Acquaintance. Pray'd earneftly for
<iear Chrifiians, and for thofe I have Reafon to fear are myEne-
mies : And cou'd not have fooken a Word of Bitternefs, or
entertained-?, oitterThougbf, a^ainft the vileft Man living. Had
a icnfe of my ov/n great Unworthinefs. My Soul feem'd to
breath forth Love and Praife to God afrefli, when 1 thought he
would let his Children love and receive me as one of their Bre-
thren andFcllow- Citizens : And when I thought of their treat-
ing mc in that Manner, I longed to \\q at theirFeet j and ro'ild
think o[no\Vay to cxprcfjdH-Sir.ceiiiy ^^implic't;. cf myLovv'.
cf Mr. David Bralnerd. A.D. 1 744. \ oj
and Efteem of them, as being much better than my felf.— To-
wards Night, was very forrowful : Seem'd to my felf the worft
Creature living ; and could not pray, nor meditate, nor think
of holding up my Face before theWorld. — Was a little relieved
in Prayer, in the Evening ; but longed to get on my Knees
and alk Forgivenefs of every Body that ever had feen any Thing
amifs in my paft Condu<a,efpecially in my religiousZeai—W^
afterwards much perplex'd, fo that I could not Sleep quietly.
Lords-Day, March 11. My Soul was in fome Meafure
y?rtf»^/^/»Vz«GoD,inMorning-Devotion; (o that I was released
from trembling Fear and Diftrefs.-- Preached to my People
from the Parable of the Sower^ Matth. xiii. And ei^oyed fome
Afliftance, both Parts of the Day : Had fome Freedom, Affec-
tion, and Fervency in addrefling my poor People ; long'd thflt
God fhould take hold of their Hearts,and make them fpiri'tually
alive. And indeed I had fo much to fay to them, that I knew
not how to leave off fpeaking. *
Monday, March 12. In the Morning, was in a devout, ten-
der, and loving Frame of Mind ; and was enabled to cry ta
God, I hope, with a Child-like Spirit, with Importunity, and
Refignation, and Compofure of Mind. My Spirit was full df
Quietnefs, and Love toMankind ; and longed thatPeace (houli
reign on theEarth : Was grieved at the very Thoughts of a/^ry,
engry and intemperate Xeal in Religion 5 mourn'd over paft
Follies in thatRegard ; and mySoul confided inGod foiStrengtfe
and Grace fufficient for my future Work and Trials.— Spent
the Day mainly in hard Labour, making Preparation for my
intended Journey.
Tuefday, March 13. Felt my Soul going forth after God
fometimcs ; but not with fuch Ardency as I longed for. In the
Evening, was enabled to continue hjiant in Prayer^ for fome
confiderable Time together ; and efpecially had refped to the
Journey I defigned to enter upon, with the Leave of divine
Providence, on the Morrow. Enjoyed fome Freedcm and Fer-
vency, intreating that the divine Prefence might attend me in
* This was the lafl Sabbath that ever he performed publick
Service at KaunaumeeJ^, and thefe the laft Sermans that evef
he preached there. It appears by his Diary, that while he
continued with thefe Indians^ he took great Pains with
them, and did it with much Difcretion 5 But the particufer
MaruJer, how; has been omitted for Brevity's Sake.
P c^'^y
104 ^t.i6. ne LIFE
^v^ry Place where my Bufinefs might lead me ; and had a par-
ticular Reference to the Trials and Temptations that I appre-
hended I might be more eminently expofed to in particular
Places* Was ftrengthenM and comforted ; altho* I was before
very weary. Truly the Joy of the Lord is Strength and Life,
Wednefd&Yf March i^* Enjoy'd fome Intenfenefs of Soul
in Prayer, repeating my Petitions for God's Prefence in every
Place where I expedted to be in my Journey. Befought theLord
that I might not be too much pleafed and amufed with dear
Friends and Acquaintance, in onePlace and another.— Near lo
fct out on my Journey, and near Night came to Stockbridge.
Thurfday, Marth 15. Rode down to Sheffield, Here \ met
a Meflenger from Eaji- Hampton on Long-lfland ; who, by the
unanimous Vote of that large Town, was fent to invite me thi-
ther,in order to fettle with that PeopIe,where I had been before
frequently invited. Seem'd more ataLofs what was my Duty,
than before ; when I heard of the greatDifficulties ot thatPlace,
I was much conterned and grieved, and felt fome Dtfires to
comply with their Requeft ; but knew not what to do : En-
deavourecj to commit the Cafe to God.
[ The two nextDaySjhe went no further ih^inSalifburyy being
much hinder'd by the Rain. When he came there, he was
much indifpofed.-- He fpeaks of comfortable and profitable
Converfation with Cbriftian Friends, on thefe Days.j
Lord's-Day, M^rch iS, [ At Saiiftury^ 1 Was exceeding
weak and fainr, fo that I could fcarce walk : But God was pleaf-
ed to afford me much Freedom, Clearnefs and Fervency in
f*reachiiig : I have not had the like AfTiftance in Preaching to
Sinners for many Months paft. —- Here another Meflenger met
ine, and informed me of the Vote of another Congregation, to
give me an Invitation to come among them upon Probation for
Settlement. * Was fcmething exercifed in Mind with a Weight
and Burden of Care. O that God would fsnd forth faithful
Labourers into his tiarveji,
^ [' After this, he went forward on his Journey towards l<!ew-
xork ^T\dNe'w-ye*fey : fn which he proceeded flowly j perform-
ing his Journey under great Degrees of bodily indifpofttion.
* This Congregation was that at Millington, near Ha^dam*
They were very earnestly defirgus of his com-ng among
them. Hew-
i?/ Mr. David Brainerd. A.D. 1744; 5©^
However, he preach'd feveral Times by the Way, being urged
by Friends ; in which he had confiderable Affiftance. He
fpeaks of Comfort in Converfation with Chriftian Friends, from
Time to Time, and of various Things in the Exercifes and
Frames of his Heart, that ihew much of a divine Iniluence on
his Mind in this Journey : But yctc omplains of the Thing that
hefear^d^ viz. z Decline of his fpiritual Life, or Vivacity in
ReJigion, by Means of his conftant Removal from Place to
Place, and want of Retirement ; and complains bitterly of his
Ujnworthinefs, Deadnefs, ^c— He came to New-Tork on
Wednefday, March 28. And to Elizabeth-Town on the Satur-
day following, where itfeems he waited 'till the CommiFioncrs
came together.]
Thurfday, yipril 5. Was again much exercifed with Weak-
fiefs, and with Pain in my Head. Attended on theCommifTio-
ners in their Meeting. * Refolved to go onflill with the Indian
AfFair, if divine Providence permitted ; altho' I had before felt
fome Inclination to go to E aft- Hampton y where I was /blicited
to go. t
[ After this, he continued two or three Days in (he Jerpys^
very 111 ; and then returned to New-York ; and from thence into
New- England 3 and went tohisnativeTown of Haddam : where
hs
* The Indians at Kaunaumeek being but few inNumber,anc?
Mr. 5rfl;«^r^ having now been labouring among them about
a Year, and having prevailed upon them to be willing to
leave Kaunaumeek^ and remove to Stockbridge, to live con-
ftantly undctMr.Sargeani*sM\n'iQ.ry ; he thought he might
now do more Service for Chrift among the Indians elfe-
where : And therefore went this Journey to New-jerfey
to lay the Matter before the Commiifioners ; who met at
Elizabeth-Town, on this Occafion, and determined that
he fhould forthwith leave Kaunaumeek , and go to the £>«-
hware Indians,
^ By the Invitations Mr. Brainerd had lately received, it
appears, that it was not from NecefHty,or for want of Op-
portunities to fettle in the Miniftry amongft the Engli/hy
notwithflanding theDifgrace he had been laid under atC;?/-
legey that he was determined to forfake all the outward
Comforts. to be enjoyed in the EngtiJJ) Settleraoits, to go
and rpend his Life among the brutilh Savagesy and endure
P 2 the
To6 Mt. 26. TJ^ L I F E
he arrived on Saturday, jlprtl 14,— And he cojitinHes ftill his
bitter Complaints of want of Retirement. While he was in
ISleW'Tork^ he fays thus, <« OA, Uh not the PUaJurei of the
«' World can Comfort me ! If God deny his PrefencCy what are
*« the Plea fur es of the City to me f One Hour of five et Retire-
«« ment where God is, is better than the whole fForld/* And he
continues to cry out of his Ignorance, Meannefs, and Unwor-
thinefs. However, he fpeaks of fome Seafons of fpecial Aflifl-
ance and divine Sweetnefs.— He fpent fome Days among his
Friends at Ea/i- Hampton and Millmgton.']
Tuefclay, Jpril ij. Rode to Millington again ; and felt
perplcx'd when I fct out ; Was feeble in Body» and weak in
r'aith. I v/as going to preach a Le<Sture ; and fearM I fhould
never have Affiftance enough to get thro*. But contriving to
ride alone, at a Diftance from the Company that was going, I
fpent the Time in lifting up my Heart to God : Had not gon«
far before niySoul was abundantlyflrengthen'd withthofcWordSj
the Difficulties and Self-denials of an Indian Miffion. He
had, j lift as he was leaving Kaunaumeek^ had an earnefl In-
vitation to a Settlement 2^1 EaJ}- Hampton oxxLong-Jfland^xho.
faireft pleafantefl Town on the whole lHand^and one of its
largeft and moft wealthy Parifhes. The People there were
unanimous in their Defires to have him for their Paftor,
and for a long Time continued in an earneft Purfuit of
what they dc/ired, and were hardly brought to relinquifli
thcirEndcavours and give up theirHopes of obtainijig him.
Befides thelnvitation he had ioMillington ; which was near
his native 'Fovvn, and in the midft of his Friends. Nor
did Mr. Bralnerd chufe the Bufmefs of a Miiljonary to the
Indians, rather than accept of thofe Invitations, becaufe he
wasunaccjuainted with the Difficulties andSufrerings which
attended fucb aService ; for he had hadExperience of thefe
D.filculties in Summer and Winter j having fpent about a
"l\velve- Month in a lonely Oefert among thefe Savages,
v.'hcre he had pone through extream Hardfhlps, and beea
theviubjcdt of aTrain of outward and inwardSorrows, which
were now frefh in his Mind. Notwithftanding all thefe
Thin<^^n, he rhofa (iUl to go on with this Bufmefs ; and
that alfho' the Plate he was now going to, was at a ftill
mw'.h greater Diftance from moft of his Friends, Acquain-
tanrc*, r^rid natrve I.nr.u,
//
V
of Mr. David Brainerd A.D. 1 744. 107
if God be for us, who can he again/i us ? I went on, confiding
jn God ; and fearing nothing fo much as Self-Confidence. In
this Frame I went to the Houfe of God, and enjoyed fome
Affiftance. Afterwards felt the Spirit of Love and Meeknefs in
Converfation with fome Friends. Then rode Home to my
Brother's : And in the Evening, finging Hymns with Friends,
my Soul feemM to melt : And in Prayer afterwards, enjoyed the
Exercife of Faith ^Tin^ was enabled to be ferixent inSpirit : Found
more of God's Prefence, than I have done any Time in my late
wearifom Journey. Eternity appeared very near : My Nature
was very weak, and feem'd ready to be difTolved : The Sun
declining, and the Shadows of the Evening drawjng on apace.
O I long'd to fill up the remaining Moments all forGod ! Tho*
my Body wasfo feeble, and wearied with Preaching, and much
private Converfation, yet I wanted to fit up all Night to do
fomething for God. To God, the Giver of thefe P^efrefhrnents,
be Glory forever and ever ; Amen.
Wednefday, v^pr// 18. Was very weak, and enjoyed but
little fpiritualComfort. Was exercifed withOne cavilling againli:
Original Sin, May the Lord open his Eyes to fee the Fountain
of Sin in himfelf.
[ After thi», he vifitad feveral Miniflers in ConneSficut ; and
then travelled towards Kaunaumeek, and came to Mr. Sargeam's
at Stockbridge, Thurfday, Jpri/ 26. He performed this Journey
in a very weak State of Body. The Tfiings he fpeaks of'. -in
the meanTime, appertaining to the Frames and Exercifes ol^j^fe
Mind, are at fome Times Deadnefs anda being void of ^jn^l
Comfort, at other Times refting in God, fpiritual Sweetnft in
Converfation, Engagednefs in Meditation, on the Road, A/fifl-
ance in Preaching, Rejoycing to thinlc that fo much more of
his Work was done, and hefo much nearer to the eternal World.
And he once and again fpeaks of a Senfe of great Ignorance,
fpiritual Pollution &c.]
Friday a«d Saturday, Jpri/ 27, and 28. Spent fome Time
in vifiting Friends, and difcourfmg with my People (who were
now moved down from their own Place to'Mr.Sargeant's) and
found them very glad to fee me returned. Was Exercis'd in my
Mind wii]^ a Senfe of my own Unworthinefs.
Lord*i,-Day, Jprii 29, Preach'd for Mr.SargeaniyhothFarts ,
of the Day, from Rev, xiv. 4^ JEnjoyed fome Freedom in-
Preaching, tho' not much Spirituality. In the Evening, my
Heart was in fomtf Mi ifurc iiftied up in Thankfulnefs to God
for any Affitt%nce.
Mondaji
:.o JEU^^, ^i^ LIFE
Monday, J^pr'il 30. Rode to Kaunaumed, hut was extrcamly
111 : Did not enjoy the Comfort I hoped for in my own Houfe.
Tuefday, May i. Having received new Orders to go to a
Number of Indians on Delaware Ri\rer in Penfylvania^ and my
People here being moftly removed to Mr. SergeanVsy I this Day
took all my Cloaths, Books, ^c, and difpofed of them, and fet
out for Delaware River : But made it my Way to return toMr.
Sargeant's : Which I did this Day, juft at Night. Rodefeveral
Hours in the Rain thro' the howling Wildernefs, altho' I was
fo difordered in Body, that little or nothing but Blood came
from me.
[ He continued at StocHridge ^the next Day ; and on Thurf-
day rode a little Way, to Sheffield^ under a great Degree of
Illnefs ; but with Encouragement andChearfulnefs of Mind un-
der his Fatigues. On Friday, he rode to Salijbury^ and con-
tinued th^-re 'till after the Sabbath. He fpeaks of hisSours being,
feme Part of this Time, refrefti'd in Converfation with fome
Chriftian Friends, about their heavenly Home and their Journey
thither. At other Times, he fpeaks of himfelf as exceedingly
perplexed with Barrennefs and Deadnefs, and has this Exclama-
tion, Oh^ that Time P)ould pafs with fo little done for God /—On
Monday, he rode to Sharon ; and fpeaks of himfelf as diftrefs'd
at the Confideration of the Mifimprovement of Time.]
Tuefday, Aloy 8. Set out from Sharon in Conne^icut^ and
travelled about 45 Miles to a Place called the Fijh-Kily f and
lodg*d there. Spent much of my Time, while riding, in Prayer,
thtt God would go with me to Delaware. My Heart fometimes
was*ready to fink with the Thoughts of my Work, and going
alone in the Wildernefs, I knew not where : But flill it was
comrortable,to think, that others of God*sChildren had wander^
ed about in Caves and Dens of the Earth ; and Abraham^ when
h£ was called to go forth, went out not knowing whither he went*
O that I might follow after God.
[ The next Day, he went forward on his Jourqey ; crofs'd
Hudfon's River, and went to Gofl)en in the Highlands ; and fo
travelled a-crofs the Woods, fromHud/on*$ River to Delaware,
about an loo Miles, through a defolate and hideous Country,
above New-Jerfcy ; where were very fewSettlemcnts : In which
Journey he fufFered much Fatigue and Hardfhip. He vifued
t A Place fo called in New-Tor k Governmcntjnear Hudfon**
River, on the Weft fide of the River.
fome
of Mr, David Brainerd, A.D.1744: ,09
fomc Indiam in the Way, f anddifcourfed with them concern-
ingChriftianity. Was confiderably Melancholy andDi/Gonfolate,
being alone in a ftrange Wildernefs. On Saturday, he came
to a Settlement of Irijh and Dutch People,about 12 Miles above
the Forks of Delaware. ]
Lord's-Day, Ma^ 13. Rofe early : Felt very poorly after my
long Journey, and after being wet and fatigued. Was very
Melancholy -y have fcarce ever feen fuch a gloomy Mornincr irs
my Life ; there appeared to be no Sabbath ; the Children were
all at Play ; I a Stranger in the Wijdernefsjand knew not where
to go ; and all Circumftances feem'd to confpire to render my
Affairs dark and difcouraging. Was difappointed refpe^ting aa
Interpreter^ and heard that the/ndians were much fcatt^r'd, ^c.
Oh, I mourned after the Prefence of Go^ and feem*d like a
Creature banifh'd from his Sight ! Yet he was pleafed to fupport
my finking Soul, amidft all my Sorrows ; fo that I never enter-
tained any Thought of quitting my Bufmefs among the poor
Indians '3 but was comforted, to think, that Death would 'ere
long fet me free from thefeDiftrefies.--- Rode about 3 or 4 Miles
to tfee Jrijh People, where I found fome that appeared Sober and
concerned about Religion. My Heart then began to be a little
encouraged : VVent and preached, fiift to the Iri/hy and then to
the Indians : And in the Evening, was a little comforted ; my
Soul feem'd to reft on God, and take Courage. O that the Lord
would be my Support and Comforter in an Evil World.
Monday, Alay 14. Was very bufy in fome neceflary Studies.
Felt my ielf very loofefrom all the World : Ail appeared ^^;7;Vy
and Vexation of Spirit. Seera*d fomething loncfom and difcon-
folate, as if I was banifh'd from all Mankind, and bereaved ofa!4
that is called pleafurable in the World : But appeared to my
feif fo vile and unworthy, it feem'd fitter for me to be here than
any where.
Tuefday, May 15. Still much enc^agerl in my Studies ; and
enjoyed more Health, than i have forfomeTime paft : But W2s
fjmething dejected in Spirit with a Senfe of my Meannefs ;
feem*d as if I coujd never do any Thing at all to any good Pur-
pofe by Reafon of Ignorance and Folly. O that a Senfe of thsfs
Things might work more habitual Humility in my Soul.
f See Mr. Brainerd*s Narrative in aLetter to Mr. Pemberion,
at the the End of his Oidiiiittion-Sermon,-— Pa^e 32, 33.
no .5/. 2;. ^^LIFE
r He coodflucd naidi in the Ciune Fnme the next Day.]
Tburfday, May 17. W»j rfws Day grr^tly diftrefeM with a
Sciife pf my ViJoiefc : Appeared to ray Iclt too bad to walk oa
Goa's Eirth, or tc bf trcatcc with Kindnds by any of hisCrca-
turcs. God wzi v.ti'ti to let me fee my inward Pollution and
Corruptioii, to fjch a Decree, that I aknofi defpair'd of being
made hcAy : Ob / wreuM Mn dmt 1 am f Wht /bail deGwr
mi frvm tie B^df tf this Dtmtb ^ In the Afterntwn, met with
tke Imei^KS accordiDg to AppcintiDent, and preach'd to thenu
Asd while riding to them, my Soul fetm'xl to confide in God ;
aud afterwards had feme Relief; and Enlargement of Soul in
Prayer, ard fome Affiftance in the Duty of Iriterccffion : Vital
Px:v and Holmefs appeared iwect to me, and I iocged for the
Pcr/eaionof it.
Fricav, Alcy i S. Felt again fomething of the fwset Spirir of
Reiitnon ; and my Soul feens'd to corlice in God, that be would
ncTcr jc2ve me.— But oftentimes faw mv ic]f (o mean a Crei-
loxe, that I knew not how to think of Preaching. O iha: I
conSd always live l» and zrpn Gcd.
S^rvrdav, Mcj iq. VV25, fome Part of the Time, greatly
rrp-e'sQ with the Weight an^Burcen cf mv Work : It fecm'd
irr' 7: 10 go thro' with the Bulinefs I had undcr-
ti^; - . . ^ht.wai \ ery calm and comfortable 3 And I
Umk, mv Soul trudcd io God for Help.
Lord* s- Diy, *ii^ 20. Preach'd twice to the poor 7«ix«r/,
2cd cnioTcd fome Freedom in fpetkioz, whi'el attempted to
removs - - ^. agalnft Chrifiiaciry. My Soul longed for
AMdzz. . - , il. the while ; for I faw \ had no Strength
fu^cient lor teat Work. Afterwards, preach'd iq the Iriji
People : Was much aiUfted in the firfl Prayer, and fomething in
S^rmoo. Several TerioDS fecm'd much concerned for their Souls,
wiih "s^bcGT. I cifcr jffed afterwards with much Freedom and
f^ne Pcxer. Kz'Zz6 be God fcr 2ny AiHtia^ce tEoidcd to an
L'nworcnT Wcrm. Oti^atleculd live to him I
[ Thro* the rtS of this Week, He was foroctimes ready to
fink with a Scr.fc of hi« unworihinefs and unfitncfs for the Work
cf the Miniftry ; and fome'ir»cs encouragod and lifted above
kis Fears ^nJ Sorrows, and was enabled corfideritly torelf on
Goi ; and cfpeciallj on S11.1- irds N:gh-, he erjoyed
Caimnefs cr.d Compc^ftre, l .nee in Prayer to God.
He fcii'Tced (ts ht U\s) Th^t G'.d rezruiMs tncii&nzeshlj ffWtfful
^^/ .-^../ - .^ a jbre and fffiiUrt Panic:, erd '-• Dvjf'.hrfi'Pl^ce
g' la in oI»G{r,(raU9Ki '^ JLrord'i-
c/A^. David Br.
I II
Lord's- Day, AJay 27. Vifited my ladiamy in thcMcrEinr,
and attcacsd upon iFtpursi among tba& : Was affc&d ts ire
their htathenijh Pra£fias. O that tbcy mi^t be mnud frzm
Darknefi it Light, Autrwards, goC a confiderablc Number
of them together, and preacfa'd to them ; and obierTed them
Very attcntiTc. After this, preach'd to the White People from
Meb, ii. 3. Was enabLsd to fpeak with feme Freedom aod^
Power : Several People Oeem'd mach coocemed for thciiSoab,;
cfpecialiy one who bad been educated a Raman CathoUck.
meS^ be the Lord for any Help.
Monday, May 28. Stt out from the Indians above the
Forks of Deiaxcarey 00 a Journey towards Nnuerk in A>tD-
y^y/j, according to toy Orders. Rode thro' the Wiidcrcefi ;
was much fatigued with the Heat ; locged at a Place caBed
Biaci'Rher ; was exceedingly tired and worn out.
[ On Tuesday, he came to Krvirl : Tbe next Dar, west
to Elifahttb-Tewn : On Thurfday, he went toXeuj-Tsrk ; and
on Friday returned to hizfabftb-TTan, Thefe Ehjs were
rpent in feme Perplexity of Mind. He ccntinjed at Eizfabetb^
Tint-? 'tillFridayin the Week following .W25enliver/d,re:'refh'd
and ftrengthen'd on the Sabbath at theLord'sTab.'e.The erfiiing
Days of the Week were fpent chiefi/ in Studies preparatory ta
his Ordination ; and on fgme of them he feemed to hive much
of Gad's gracious Prefence, and of the fweet Influences of
his Spirit ; but was in a very weak Stats of Body. On SatuC'
day, he rode to Nnoari.'^
Lord's-Day, June i?. [a: Nricari'\ In the Mominz,W2s
much concerned how I fhould perform the Work of the Day j
and trembled it the Thoughts of being left to my felf. — En-
joyed very conliderable Atfiftance in all Parts of the puback
Service. Had an Opportunity again to attend on the Ordinance
of the Lord's-Supper, and thro* divine Goodoe^ was refrdhM
in it : My Scyl was full or Love and Tcndcmcfe towards the
Children of God, and towards all Men : ftli a certain Sweet-
ness of D ■ ' ^rds Qwziy Creature. At N:ght, I en-
joyed mc:; .mi r*-eet Deli re of Ho'ineff^ than I
hive fck for 1" .T.e T me : Was a.riid of every Thought and
ever? MoticHjicit tbsreb? mvHeart fhould be drawn away from
God. * O that I naight never leave the blefied God. Lord, sm
thy PrefiM.f is FfLmfs sf Jtj. O ths BicUc inefs of living to
God !
Q^ Mcnday,
JJ2 ^/. 27: "The LIFE
Monday, June II. This Da^v iht Pt e [by tery met together at
Newark, in order to my Ordit^ation, Was very weak and
diforder'd in BoJy ; yet endeavoured to repoCe my Confidence
in God. S^ent mod of the D^y alone; efpecially the Fore-
noon. At three in the Afternoon preached my Probation- Ser-
mon, from M. xxvi. 17, 18. being a Text given me for that
End. Felt not well, either in Body or Mind ; however, God
carried me thro' comfortably. Afterwards, pafs'd an Exami-
nation before the Prefhytery, Was much tired, and my Mind
burden'd with the Greatnefs of that Charge, I was in the moft
folemn Manner about to take upon me : My Mind was ^o
prefs'd with the Weight of the Work incumbent upon me, that
I could not fleep this Night, tho' very Weary and in great need
of Reft. ^
Tuefday, June 12. ^Af as this Morning further examined,
rerpe<Slin2 niy Experimental Acquaintance with Chriftianity. *
At ten o'clock my Oriination was attended : The Sermon
preach'd by the Rev. Mr. Pembe?iGn, At this Time I was af-
fcded with a Senfe of the important Truft committed to
me ; yet was Compofed, and folemn, without Diftrailion ;
And I hope, I then ( as many Times before) gave my felf up to
God, to be for him, and not for another. Q that I might always
be engaged in the Service of God^and duly remember the folemn
Charge I have received, I'n tlie Prefence of God, Angels and
Men ; Amen : May I be aflifted of God for this Purpofe. —
Towards Night, rode to £"/./ra^^/.^-7^tc';i.
* Mr. Pejnlerion^ in a Letter to the Honourable Society in
Scotland that enaployedMr. 5r^;W^, which he wrote con-
cerning him, ( publiihed in Scoilandyinthe Chrijiian month'
ly Hiflory ) writes thus, '^ We can with Pleafure fayjthat
*« Mr. Braitierd pafs'd thro' his Ordination-Triajsj to the
«< univerfai Approbation of the Pr//^)'/^r^, and appeared
«< uncommonly qualiMed for the Work of the Miniftry.
«* fie feem:- to be armed with a great deal of Self-denial,
< « and animated with a noble Zeal to propagate the Gofpel
'« amo.ng thofc barbarous Nations, who have long dwelt
<« in the Darknefs of Hcaihenifm.
FART
of Mr* David Brainerd. A.D. i
744* 113
/
Part Vt.
From his Ordination, 'till he fir ft began to
preach to the Indians at Crolweckfung,
among who??t he had his mojl remarkakk
Succe/s. 4/,^ ' '
WEdnefday, Jwne 13. Spent forrve confiderable Time \x\
writing an Account of the Indian Affairs to go to Scot-
land ; fpencfome Time in Converfation with Friends j
But enjoy'd not much Sweetnefs and Satisfadion.
Thurfday, yune 14. Received fome particular Kindnefs from
Friends ; and wondered, that Goc( fliould open the Hearts of
any to treat me with Kindnefs : Saw my felf to be unworthy of
any Favour, from God, or any of nrc' Fellow-Men. Was'much
exercifed with Pain in my Head ; ^owever determined to fet
out on my Journey towards Deiawan in the Afternoen i put
in the Afternoon my Pain increafed exceedingly ; To that I v/asjob-
liged to betake my (c]( to theBed ; and tbeNight foJIowingJvvas
greatly diftrefs'd withPain andSicknefs .'i^Was fometimes aljinoft
bereaved of the Exercifc of Re^fon by the Extremity of rain.
Continued muchDiftrefs'd 'till Saturday ; when I was/fomeping^
reliev'd by an Emetick : But was unable to v;a]k abroad Mil
the Monday following, in the Afternoon ; and l^ill rcmain*d
very feeble. I often admired the Goodnefs of God, that he
did not TufFer me to proceed on my Journey from thi-s Place
where I was fo tenderly ufed,and to be Sick by the VVay amon-:
Strangers.—- God is very gracious to me, both in Health ai-.
Sicknefs, and intermingles much Mercy with all my Aifli^^llrni
and Toils, Enjoyed fonie Sweetnefs in Things divine, in ihc
midft of my Pain and Weaknefs. Oh, that I could praife tl:^
Lord.
Q 2 V'^^
:ii4 mt.z-j. r/^-^LIFE
[ On Tuefday, 'June 19. He fet out on his Journey Home,
and in three Days reached his Place, near the Forks of Dela-
ware. Performed the Journey under much Wcaknefs of Body ;
but had Comfort in his Soul, from Day to Day : And both his
Weaknefs of Bodyjand Confolation of Mind continued through
the Week.]
Lord^s-Da^^, June 24. Extreamly Feeble ; fcarce able to
walk : However, vifited my h.dians^ and took much Pains
lo inflrucl them : Laboured with fome that were much difaf-
i"e<Sed to Chriflianity. MyMind was much burden'd with the
Weight and Difficulty of my Work. My whole Dependence
2nd Hope of Succefs feem'd to be on God ; who alone I faw
could make them willing to receive Infirudlion. My Heart
Was much engaged in Prayer, fending up filent Requeftsto God,
even while I was fpeaking to them. O.that I could always go
in the Strength of the Lord.
Monday, June 2£. Was fomething better in Health than
of late : Was able to fpend a confiderable Part of the Day in
Prayer and clofe Studies. Had more Freedqm and Fervency in
Prayer than ufual of late : EfpeciaJly long'd for the Prefence of
God in my Work, and that the poor Heathen might be con-
verted. And in Evening-Prayer my Faith and Hope in God
were much raifed. To an Eye of Reafon every Thing that
lefpccSs the Conveifion of the Heathen is as dark as Midnight ;
and yet I can^t but hope in Got! for the Accomplifhment of
Something glorious among them. My Soul longed much for
ihe Advancement of the Redeemer's Kingdom onEarth. Was
very fearful left I ftiould admit fome vain Thought, and fo lofc
the Senfe I then had of divine Things. O for an abiding hea-
venly Temper !
Tuefday, Jur?e 26. In the Morning, my Dcfires feem*d to
rifcjand afccnd up freely to God. W^s bufy mofl of theDay in
tranflating Prayers into the Language of the Delaware- Indiani :
Met with j>reat Difficulty by Reafon that my Interpreter was
altogether unacquainted with theBufmefs. But tho' I was much
difcouraged with the cxtream l^ifficulty of that Work, yet
God fupportcd me ; and efpecially in the Evening, gave me
fvveet Refrcfhment : [n Prayer my Soul was enlarged, and my
I'aith drawn into fenf»ble Exercife ; was enabled to cry to God
/or my poor JrJiam ; and tho* the Work of their Converfion
'appeared imp^ffibU with Afan, y^t with God I faw ali Things were
tofiHe, Aiy Taith w.!" riiucb iir?njfhen*(), by .obferving the
vvondcrfuj
of Mr. David Brainerd. A.D. 1744. 1 15
wonderful Affiftance God afForded his Servants Nehemlah and
Ezra^ in reforming his People, and re-eftablifhing his antient
Church. I was much affifted in Prayer for dear Chriftian
Friends, and for others that 1 apprehended to be Chriftlefs ;
but was more efpecially concerned for the poor Heathen, and
thofe of my own Charge : Was enabled to be inftant in Prayer
for them ; and hoped that God would bow the Heavens and
come down for their Salvation. It feem'd to me,- there could
be no impediment fufficient to.obftru6l that glorious Work,
feeing the living God, as I ftrongly hoped, was engaged for it.
I continued in a folemn Frame, lifting up my Heart to God for
Afliftance, and Grace, that I might be more mortified to this
prefent World, that my whole Soul might be taken up conti-
nually in Concern for tli^Advancement of Chrift's Kingdom :
Longed that God would purge me more, that I might be as a
chofen Veflel to bear hisName among the Heathens. Con-Cinued
in this Frame 'till I drop'd afleep.
Wednefday, June 27. Felt fomething of the fame folemn
Concern, and Spirit of Prayer, that I enjoy'd laft Night, foon
after I rofe in the Morning.-— In the Afternoon, rode feveral
Miles to fee if I could procure any Lands for the poor Indians^
that they might live together, and be under better Advantages
for Inftru£tion. While I was riding, had a deep Senfe of the
Greatnefs and Difficulty of my Work ; and my Soul feemed
to rely wholly upon God for Succefs, in the diligent and faith-
ful ufe of Means. Saw, with greateft Certainty, that the Arm
of the Lord mufl be revealed^ for the Help of thefe poor Hea-
then, if ever they were delivered from the Bondage of thePow-
ers of Darknefs. Spent moft of the Time, while riding, ia
lifting up my Heart for Grace and Alliftance.
Thurfday, June 28. Spent the Morning, in reading feveral
Parts of the Holy Scripture, and in fervent Prayer for my In-
dians^ that God would fet up his Kingdom among them, and
bring them into his Church.—- About nine, I withdrew to
my ufual Place of Retirement in the Woods ; and there again
enjoyed fome Afnlhnce in Prayer. My great Concern was for
the Converfion of the Heathen to God ; and the Lord helped
me to plead with him for it. Towards Noon, rode up to the
Indians^ in order to preach to 'em ; and while going, my Heart
went up to God in Prayer for 'em ; could freely tell God, He
knew that the Caufe was not mine, which I was engaged in ;
but it was his own Caufe, and it would be for his own Qlory to
convert the poor Indians : A^nd bleflcd be God, I felt ng Defire
of
ji6 JEt. 2y. nehlFE
of theirConverfion,that I might receiveHonour from theWorld,
as being the Inftrument of ic. Had fome Freedom in fpeaking
to the Indians,
[ The next Day, he fpeaks of fome ferious Concern for the
Kingdom of the bleiTed Redeemer -, but complains much of
Bariennefs, Wandrings, Inadivity, ^c. ]
Saturday, June 30. My Soul was much Solemnized in read-
ing God*sWord ; efpecially the ninth Chapter oi Daniel. J faw
how God had called out his Servants to Prayer, and made them
wreftle with him, when hedefigned to beftow any great JVler-
cy on his Church. And alas, I was afhamed of my felf, to think
of myDulnefs and Ina6livity,when there feemed to be fo much to
do for the upbuilding of Zion. Oh, howdoes Zion lie wafie^! £
longed, that the Church of God might be enlarged : Was ena-
bled to pray, I think, in Faith : My Soul feem'd fenfibly to
confide in God, and was enabled to wrefile with him. After-
wards, walk'd Abroad to a Place of fweet Retirement, and en-
joyed fome AfTiftance in Prayer again : Had a Senfe of my great
need of divine Help, and felt my Soul fenfibly depend on God.
Blefled be God, this has been a comfortable Week to me.
Lord's-Day July i. In the Morning, was perplex'd with
wandring vain Thoughts : Was much grieved, judged and
condemned my felf before God. And Oh,, how miferable did
1 feel, becaufc I couid not live toGod ! At ten, rode away with
a heavy Heart, to preach to my Indians. Upon the Road, 1
attempted to lift up my Heart to God ; but v/as infeffed with
an unfcttled wandring Frame of Mind ; and was exce'feding
reftlefs and perplex'd, and filPd with Shame and Confufion be-
fore God. 1 feem*d to my felf to be more hrutifl) than anyA4an ;
and thought, none deferved to be ca(i out of God'^ Pr e fence (o
much as I. If [ attempted to lift up my Heart to God, as I
frequently did by the Way, on a fudden, before I was aware,
my Thoughts were wandring to the Ends of the Earth : And my
Soul was fill'd with Surprize andAnxiety, to find it thus. Thus
alfo afterl came to the7«^/^«;,myMind was confufed ; and I felt
nothing fenfibly of that fweet Reliance on God, that my Soul
has been comforted with in Days paft. Spent the Forenoon in
this Polture of , Mind, and preachM to the Indians without any .
Heart. In the Afternoon, I felt flill barren, when I began to
preach ; and after about half an Hour, I feem'd to my kU to
know nothing;, and to have nothing to fay to the Indians ; but
foon
r/iV^r. David Brainerd. A.D.1744. 117
e
foon after, 1 found in my felf a Spirit of Love, and Warmth,
and Power to addrefs the poor Indians ; and God helped mc
to plead with them to turn frcm all the Faniii£s of the Heathen^
i9 the living God : And I am perfwaded, the Lord touch'd their
Confciences ; for I never faw fuch Attention raifed in thera be-
fore. And when I came away from them, I fpent the whole
Time while I was riding to my Lodgings, three Miles diftant,
in Prayer and Praife to God. And after I had rode more than
two Miles, it came into my Mind to dedicate my felf to God
again ; which I did with great Solemnity, and unfpeakable
Satisfadlion ; efpecially gave up my felf to him renewedly in
the Work of the Miniftry. And this I did by divine Grace,
I hope, without any Exception or Referve ; not in the leaft
fhrinking back from any Difficulties, that might attend this
great and blefl'ed Work. I feem*d to be moft free, chearful,
and full in this Dedication of my felf. My whole Soul cried,
" Lord, to thee I dedicate my felf : O accept of me, and let
" me be thine forever. Lord, I defire nothing elfe ; I defire
" nothing more. O come, come, Lord, accept a poor Worm.
" Whom have 1 in Heaven^ but thee ; and there is none upon
<« Earthy that 1 dffire be/tdes thee.'' After this, was enabled to
praife God with my whole Soul, that he had enabled me to
devote and confecrate all my Powers to him in this folcmnMan-
ner. My Heart rejoyced in my particular Work as a MiJJis-
nary ; rejoyced in myNeceffity of Self-denial in manyRefpcdb ;
and (till continued to give up my felf to God, and implore Mer-
cy of him ; praying inceflantly, every Moment, with fwcet
Fervency. My Nature being very weak of laie, and much
fpent, was now confiderably overcome : My Fingers grew
very feeble, and fomew^hat numb ; fo that I could fcarce'y
ftretch them out (freight : And when I lighted from m^' Horfr,
could hardly walk : My Joints feem'd all to be loofed. But I
felt abundant Strergth in the inner Ahn. Preach'd to the
White People : God helped me much, efpecially in Prayer.
Sundry of my poor Indians were fo moved as to come to Meet-
ing alfo ; and one appeared much concerned.
Monday, July 2. Had fome Relifli of the divine Comforts
of Yefterday ; but could not get that VVarmth and Exercifc of
Faith, that I defired. Had fometimes a didrefling Senfe of my
paft Follies, and prcfent Ignorance and Barrennefs : And
efpecially in the Afternoc^i, was funk down under a Load of
Sin and Guilt, in that I had lived fo little to God, after his abun-
dant Goodntfs to me Yefterday. In the Evening, tho' very
ii8 muii. W^ LIFE
weak, was enabled to pray with Fervency, and to continue in*
ftant in Prayer, near an Hour. My Soul mourned over the
Power of its Corruption, and longed exceedingly to be wofh^d
and purgid as with HyJJop. Was enabled to pray for my dear
abfent Friends, Chrift's Minifters, and hisChurch ; and enjoyed
much Freedom and Fervency, but not fo much Comfort, by
Reafon of Guilt andShame beforeGod.— Judged and condemned
my felf for the Follies of the D,ay.
Tuefday, July 3. Was ftill very weak. This Morning,
was enabled to pray under a feeling Senfe of my need of Help
from God, and, J trufi, had feme Faith inExercife ; and,blefled
be God, was enabled to plead with God a confiderable Time.
Truly God is good to me. But my Soul mourned and was
grieved at my Sinfulnefs and Barrennefs, and long'd to be more
engaged for God. Near nine, withdrew again for Prayer j and
thro* divine Goodnefs, had the blefled Spirit of Prayer ; my
Soul loved the Duty, and lorded for God in it. O it is fweet
to be the Lord's, to be fenlibly devoted to him I What a blefled
Portion is God .! How glorious, how lovely in himfelf ! O
my Soul long'd to improve Time wholly for God !-— Spent
moft of the Day in iranflating Prayers into Indian.— In the
Evening, was enabled again to wreftle with God in Prayer with
Fervency. Was enabled to maintain a Self-diffident and watch-
ful Frame of Spirit, in the Evening, and was jealous and afraid
left I fhould admit Carelefnefs and Self- Confidence.
[ The next Day, he feems to have had fpecial AfTiftance and
Fervency moft of the Day, but in a lefs Degree than the preceed-
ing Day. Thurfday was fpent in great bodily Weaknefs ;
yet feems to have been fpent in continual and excefedingPainful-
nefs in Religion ; but in great Bitternefs of Spirit by Reafon of
his Vilenefs and Corruption ; he fays thus, 1 thought there was not
one Creature living Jo viie as ]. Oh^ my inward Pollution ! Oh^
rny Guilt and Shame before God !-— I know not what to do, Oh^
1 long'd ardently to he clear fed and wafhed from the Stains of in-
ward Pollution ! Oh, to be made like God, or rather to be made
fit for God to own.]
Friday, July 6. Aw(ike this Morning in the Fear of God :
Soon cnlled to Mind my Sadnefs in the Evening pafi ; and fpent
my firlt waking Minutes in Prayer for Sandification, that my
Soul might be wafti'd from its exceeding Pollution and Defile-
ment. Alter 1 arofe, ! fpent feme Time in rcadingGod's Word
and
c/M-. David Brainerd; A.D.1744: 119
and Pray cr : 1 cried to God tinder a Senfe of my great Indigen-
cy.— I am, of late, moft of all concerned for Minifterial Q^iali-
lications, and the Converfion of the Heathen : Laft Year I
longed to be prepared for a World oi Glory ^ and fpeedily to de-
part out of this World ; but of late all my Concern almoft is
for the Converfion of the Heathen 5 and for thatEnd, I long to
live. But bleflcd be God, I have lefs defire to live for any of
the Pleafures of the World, than ever I had : I long and love to
be a Pilgrim ; and want Grace to imitate the Life, Labours
and Sufferings of St. Paul among the Heathen. And when I
long for Holinefs now,it is not fomuch for my felf as formerly 5
but rather that thereby I may become an able Minijier of the
NgW'Te/iament, efpecially to the Heathen. Spent about two
Hours this Morning inReading and Prayer by Turns 5 and was
in a watchful tender Frame, afraid of every Thing that might
cool my AfFedions, and draw away my Heart from God, Was
fomething ftrengthen'd in my Studies 3 but near Night was
very weak and weary.
Saturday, J^uly 7. Was very much difordered thisMorning,
and my Vigour all fpent and exhaufted : But was affected and
jefrefh'd in reading the fweet Story of Elijah's TranfIation,and
enjoyed fome AfFedion and Fervency in Prayer 5 longed much
for Minifterial Gifts and Graces, that I might do fomething in
the Caufe of God. Afterwards was refrefh'd and invigorated >
while readingMr. yofephJl/eine'shr&CafeoiConkienzQ^^c.znd
enabled then to pray with feme Ardour of Soul, and was afraid
of Carelefnefs and Self- Confidence, and longed for Holinefs.
Lord's-Day, yuly g. Was ill laft Night, not able to red
quietly. Had fome fmall Degree of AiTiftance in preaching to
the Indians ; and afterwards was enabled to preach to the White
People with fome Power, efpecially in the Clofe of my Difcourfe
from Jer, iii. 23. The Lord alfo aflifted me in fome Meafurc
in the firft Prayer : BleiTed be his Name. Near Night, tho*
very weary, was enabled to read God's Word with fome (wcct
Relifh of it, and to pray with Affection, Fervency, and ( [ truft)
Faith: My Soul was more fenfibly dependent on God, than
ufual. Was watchful, tender, and jealous of my own Heart,
left { (hould admit Carelefnefs and vain Thoughts, and grieve
the blclTed Spirit, fo that he fhould withdraw his fweet, kind>
and tender Influences. Long'd to depart and h tuithChr iff ^moic
than at any Time of late. My Soul was exceedingly united tc*
the Saints of ancient Times, as well as thofe now living ; efpe-
cially my Soul melted for the Society of Elijah and EHJha.
R Waj
120 /EL 27. "The LIFE
Was enabled to cry to God with a Child-like Spirit, and tfl
continue inftant in Prayer for feme Time. Was much enlarged
in the Tweet Duty of Interceffion : Was enabled to remember
great Numbers of dear Friends, and precious Souls, as well as
Chrift's Minifters. Continued in this Frame, afraid of every
idle Thought, 'till I dropM aileep.
Monday, July 9. Was under much Illnefs of Body moft of
the Day, and notable to fit up the whole Day. TowardsNight,
felt a little better. Then fpent fomeTime in reading God's
Word and Prayer : Enjoy'd fome Degree of Fervency and Af-
fe<Stion : Was enabled to plead with God for his Caufe and
Kingdom : And, thro' divine Goodnefs, It was apparent to me
that it was his Caufe I pleaded for, and not my own : And was
enabled to make this an Argument with God to anfwer my
Requefts.
Tuefday, ^uly 10. Was very ill and full of Pain, and very
dull and fpiritlefs.--- In the Evening, had an aiFedting Scnfe of
my Ignorance, ifiV. and of my need of God at all Times, to do
every Thing for me ; and my Soul was humbled before God.
Wcdnefday, Ja/y II. Was ftill exercifed with Illnefs and
Pain. Had fome Degree of AfFecSion and 'Warmth in Pray-
er and reading God's Word : Long'd for Abraham^i Faith and
Fellowfhip with God ; and felt fome Refolution to fpend all my
Time for God, and to exert ray felf with more Fervency in
bis Service j but found my Body weak and feeble. In the
Afternoon, tho' very ill, was enabled to fpend fome confiderable
Time inPrayer ; fpent indeed moft of theDay in that Exercife ;
an^ my Soul was diffident, watchful and tender, left 1 fhould
ofFend my blefled Friend, in Thought or Behaviour. I am
perfwaded my Soul confided in, and lean'd upon the blcfTedGod.
OhjWhat need did 1 fee my felf to ftand in of God at all Times,
to a/Tift me and lead me I— Found a great want of Strength and
Vigour, both in the outward and inner Man.
[ TheExercifes an(lExperiences,that he fpeaks of in the ne^ct
njneDay.sare verySimilar to ihofeof tbe prcceecJinoDaySjOf this
and the foregoinpr \'/eek ; aSenfeof his own Weaknefs, Igno-
rance, UnproficableneCs, and Vilenefs ; loathing and abhorring
hjmfcif ; Seif-difHdence ; Senfeof the Grcatnefsof his Work,
and his great need of divine Help, and the extream Danger of
Self-Confi'ic-nce ; loBging'for Flolinefs and Humility, and to
be fitted fcr his Work ; and to live toGod ; and longing for the
Converfnn of the indium ; and thcfc Things to a ?ery great
Degree-.]
Sitorday,
ef Mr. David Brainerd. A.D. 1 744: 1 2 1
Saturday, Jaiy 21. This Morning, was greatly opprefled
with Guilt and Shame, from a Senfe of inward Vilenefs and
Pollution. About nine, withdrew to the Woods for Prayer ;
but had not much Comfort ; I appeared to my felf the vileft
meaneft Creature upon Earth, and could fcarcely live with my
felf; fo mean and vile I appeared, that 1 thought I (liould never
be able to hold up my Face in Heaven, if God of his infinite
Grace fhould bring me thither. Towards Night my Burden
refpeding my Work among ihtlndians began to increafe much ;
and was aggravated by hearing fundry Things that look'd very
difcouraging, in particular that they intended to meet together
the next Day for an idolatrous Feaji and Dance, Then I began
to be in Anguifh : I thought I mult in Confcience go and en-
deavour to break them up ; and knew nothov/ to attempt fuch
a Thing. However I withdrew^ for Prayer,hoping forStrength
from above. And in Prayer I was exceedingly enlarged, and
my Soul was as much drawn out as ever I remember it to have
been in my Life, or near. I was in fuch Anguifli, and pleaded
with fo much Earncftnefs and Importunity, that when I rofe
from my Knees I felt extreamly weak and overcome, I could
fcarcely walk flrait, mv Joints were loofed, the fweat ran down
my Face andBody, &Nature feem'd as if it would di/Tolve. So
far as I could judge, I was wholly free Uomfelfijl) Ends in my
ferventSupplications for the poor Indians, I knew, they were
met together to worftiip Devils^ and not God ; and this made
me cry earneflJy, that God would now appear, and help me in
my Attempts to break up this idolatrous Meeting. My Soul
pleaded long ; and I thought, God would hear, and would go
with me to vindicate his own Caufe : I feem'd io confide in
God for his Prefence and Afliftance. And thus I fpent the
Evening, praying incefTantly for divine Affidance, and that I
might not be Self»dependent, but flill have my whole Depen-
dance upon God. What I pafs'd thro* was remarkable, and
indeed inexprefTible. All Things here below vanifh'd ; and
there appeared to be nothing of any confiderable Importance to
me, but Holinefs of Heart and Life, and the Converfion of the
Heathen to God. All my Cares, Fears and Defires, which
might be (aid to be of a worldly Nature, difappeared ; and
were, in my Efteem, of little more Importance than a PufFof
Wmd. I exceedingly long'd, that God would get to hmfelfa
IMami among the Heathen : And I appealed to him with th*
greateft Freedom, that he knew I perfer'd him above my chief
J^h Ind^edj I had noNotion of Joy from this World ; I carei
R2 not
122 ^t.tf. Thel^WE
not where or how I lived, or what Hard(hips 1 went thro' ; fo
that I could but gain Souls to Christ. I continued in this
Frame all the Evening and Night. While I was afleep, I
dream*d of thefe Things ; and when I waked (as I frequently
did) the firft Thing I thought of was this great Work of plead-
ing for God againlt Satan,
Lord's- Day, ytt/> 22. When I waked, my Soul was bur*
denM with what feemed to be before me : I cried to God, be-
fore I could get out of my Bed : And as foon as I was drefs'd,
J withdrew into the Woods, to pour out my burden'd Soul to
God, efpecially forAffiftance in my great Work ; for I could
fcarcely think of any Thing elfe : And enjoyed the fame Free-
dom and Fervency as the lafl Evening ; and did with unfpeaka-
ble Freedom give up my felf afrefh to God, for Lifeor Death,
for all Hardftiips be fliould call me to among the Heathen ; and
felt as if nothing could difcourage me from this blefled Work,
I had a (trong Hope, that God would bow the Heavens and come
down^ and do feme marvellous Work among the Heathen. And
when I was riding to the Indians^ three Miles, my Heart was
continually goin^ up to God for his Prefence and Affiftance ;
and hoping^asd almoft expe6ling, thatGod would make this the
JD ay of bis Power and Grace amongft the poor Indians, When
i came to them, I found them engaged in their FroUcky but
thro'divineGoodnefs I got them to break up, and attend to my
Preaching : Yet Itill there appeared nothing of the fpecial Pow-
^r of God among them. Preach'd again to them in the Af-
ternoon ; and ohkxvzfl^xht Indians were more foi?er than before;
But ftill faw nothing fpecial among: them ; from whence
Satan took occafion to tempt and bufFet me with thefe curfed
Suggfftion3,T/^^r^ is noCod^ci if there be,he is not able toconvcif
the Indians^ before they had more Knowledge, i^fc. I was very
weak and weary, and my Soul born down with Perplexity : But
was mortified to all the World, and was determined ftill to wait
upon God for the Converfion of the Heathen, tho' the Devil
•jcmpted me to the contra-^y.
Monday, yw/y 23, Retained ftill a deep and prefllng Senfc
of what lay with fo much V/eight upon me Yefterday : But
was more calm and quiefj' enjoyed Freedom and Compofurc,
after the Temptations of the laft Evening : Had fweet Refigna-
tion to the diviiie Will ; and defired nothing fo much as thp
Converfion of the Heathen to God, and that hisKingdom might
i:ame in ray own Heart, and the Hearts of others. Rode to a
isttl^Ojent cf 4'''fi People, about 15 Miles South- W^Hwardj
hfMnDivid Braincrd A.D. 1744.^ 123
foent my Time in Prayer and Meditation by the Way. Near
Night, preach'dfrom Math. v. 3.— God was pleas'd to afford
me fome Degree of Freedom and Fervency. BlefTed be God
for any Meafure of Affiftance.
Tuefday, Juljf 24. Rode about 17 Miles Weftward, over
a hideous Mountain, to a Number of Indians. Got together
near 30 of *em : Preach'd to 'em in the Evening, and lodg'd
among them f.— Was vireak, and felt fomething difconfolate:
Yet could have no Freedom in the Thought of any other Cir-
cumftanccs or Bufinefs in Life : All my Defire was the Couver-
fion of the Heathen, and all my Hope was in God : God does
not fuiFer me to pleafe or comfort my felf with Hopes of feeing
Friends, returning to my dear Acquaintance, and enjoying
worldly Comforts.
[ The next Day, he preach'd to thefe Indians again ; and
then returned to the Irijb Settlement, and there preach'd to a
numerous Congregation : There was a confiderable Appear*
ance of Awakening in theCongregation. Thurfday, he returned
home, exceedingly fatigued and fpent ; ftiil in the fame P>ame
ofMortification to the World, and folicitous fortheAdvancement
of Chrift's Kingdom : And on this Day he fays thus^ '* I have
*« felt, this Week, more of the Spirit of a P/V|-r//n «« Earthy
«' than perhaps ever before ; And yet fo defirous to fee Zion's
*' Profperity, that I was not fo willing to leave this Scene of
*' Sorrow as I ufed to be.*'—- The two remaining Days of the
Week, he was very ill, and cries out'of Wandrings, Dulnefs,
and want of fpiritual Fervency and Sweetnefs. On the Sabbath,
He was confined^1)y Illnefs, not able to go out to preach. After
this, his Illnefs increafed upon him, and he continued very ill
all the Week ; * and fays, that " he thought he never before
*' endured fuch a Seafon of diftreffingWeaknefs j and that his
•^' Nature was fo fpent, that he could neither fland, fit, nor lie
*' with any Quiet ; and that he was exercifed with extream
^' Faintnefs and Sickncfs at his Stomach; and that his Mind
*' was as much diforder'd as his Body, fecming to be ftupid,
*' and without all kind of AfFeftions towards allObjedsj and
*^' yet perplexed, to think, that he lived for nothing, that preci-
i See Mr. Brainerd's Narrative at the End of his Ordinaticn
Sermon^ Page 34.
'■^ This Week, on Tuefday, he wrote the 4th LttUr added
2t the Eiid of thisAccouRt,
• CU?)
X24 /^/. 2;: 2/&<?LIFE
«« ousTime roH'd away, and he could do nothing but trifle :
'*' And fpeaks of it as a Seafon wherein Satan bufFeted him with
'* fome peculiar Temptations."— Concerning the next five
Days he writes thus, " OnLord*s-Day ylug. 5. Was ftillvery
«' poor. But, tho* very weak, 1 vifited and preach'd to the
<' poor Indians twice, and was ftrengthen'd vaftly beyond my
*' Expectations. And indeed, the Lord gave me fome Frce-
*' dom and Fervency in addreifing them ; tho' I had not
«'' Strength enough to ftand, but was obliged to fit down the
«« wholeTime ; TowardsNight, was extreamly weak, faintjfick
«« and full ofPain. And thus I have continued much in the fame
*« Statethat I was in laft Week, through the moft of this(it being
«* now Friday 5 ) unable to engage in anvBufinefs; frequently
*« unable to pray in the Family. lam obliged to let all my
*' Thoughjs and Concerns run atRandom ; for I have neither
«' Strength to read, meditate, or pray : And this naturally per-
" plexes my Mind. 1 feem to my felf like a Man that has all
" his Eftate embarqued in one fmall Boat, unhappily going
«« adrift, down a fwift Torrent. The^poor Owner ftands on
<« the Shore, and looks, and laments his Lofs. — But alas, tho'
*' my all feems to be adrift, and I ftand and fee it, I dare not
" lament; for this fmks my Spirits more, and aggravates my
<■'- bodih Diforders ! lam forced therefore to divert my felf
«< withTfifles ; altho' at the fameTimel am afraid, and after
*' feel as if 1 was guilty of the Mifimprovement of Time. And
'« oftentimes my Confcience is fo exercifediwith this miferable
" Way of fpending Time, that 1 have no Peace ; tho' I have
*f no Strength of MindorBody to improve it to betterPurpofe.
s' O that God would pity my diitrefled State.
The next three Weeks after this, his Illnefs was not ^o ex-
tfeme : He was in fome Degree capable of Bufinefs, both pub-
lick and private ; ( ahho he had fome Turns wherein his Indif-
pofition prevailed to a great Degree : ) He alfo in this Space
had, for the moft Part, much more inward Afliftance, and
Strengthof Mind : He often expreflcs great Longings for the
Enlargement of Chrilt's Kingdom ; efpecially by the Conver-
fion of the Heathen to God : He fpeaks of his Hope of this as
all his Deligkt and Joy. He continues ftill to exprefs hisufual
Longings after Holinefs and living to God, and his Senfe of his
own Unworthinefs : He feveral Times fpeaks of his appearing
to himfelf the vilefl Creature on Earth ; and once fays, that he
verily tho't there were none of God's Children who fellfo far
fiiort of that Holinefs, and Perfij^iw in their Obedience^ which
God
tf Mr. David Brawicrd. A.D. 1 744: 1 2 5
God requires, as he. He fpeaks of his feeling more dead than
ever to the Enjoyments of the World. He fometimes mentioivs
fpecial AlTiftancc that he had in this Space ofTime, in preachin»
to the Indians^ and of Appearances of religiousConcern among
them. He fpeaks alfo ofAffiftance in Prayer for abfent Friends
and cfpecially Minifters and Candidates for tha Miniftry ; and
of much Comfort he enjoy 'd in the Company of fomeMinifters
that came to vifit him. ]
Saturday, Sept, i. Wasfo far ftrengthen'd, after a Seafon of
great Weaknefs, that I was able to fpend two or three Hours in
writing on a divine Subjedl. Enjoy'd fomeComfort andSweet-
ncfs in Things divine and facred .- And as my bodily Strength
was in feme Meafure reftored, fo my Soul feem*d to be fome-
what vigorous, and engaged in the Things of God.
Lords-Day, Sept. 2. Was enabled to fpeakto my poorJndiafis
with much Concern and Fervency ; and lam perfwaded, God
enabled me to exercifeFaith in him,whilelvvasfpeaking tothem.
I perceived, thatfome of them were afraid to hearken to, and
embrace Chrijiianiiy^ left they fhould be inchanted and poifon'd
hy fome of the Powcws : But I was enabled to plead with them
not to fear thefe ; and confiding in God for Safety andDeliver-
ance, I bid a Challenge to all thefe Powers of Darbie/s, to do
their worft upon me firft : I told my People, I was a Chrjji'wn^
and afk'd them why the Powows did not Bewitch and Poifon
me. I fcarcely ever felt more fcnfible of my ownUnworthinefs,
than in this Ailion ; I faw, that the Honour of God was con-
cerned in the AfFair ; and I defired to be preferved, not from
felfifh Views, but for a Teftimony of the divine Power and
Goodnefs, and of theTruth ofChriftianity, and that God might
be glorified. Afterwards, I found my Soul rejoice in God for
his ailifting Grace.
[ After this, he went a Journey into New- England^ and was
abfent from the Place of his Abode, at the Forks of Delawarty
about three Weeks, rfe was in a feeble State thegrea{er Pait
of the Time. But in the latter Part of the Journey, he found
he ^gained much in Health and Strength. And as to the State
of his Mind, and his religious and fpiritualExercifesjit was much
With him as had been before ufual in Journeys ; excepting that
thcFrame of hisMind fcemed more generally to be comfortable.
But yet there are Complaints of fome uncomfortable Sesfons,
want of Fervency, and want of Retirements, and Time alons
with God. In this Journey, he did not forget the Indi&ns ;
bdt once and again fpeaks of his longing for their Convarfion. J
126 ^L 27 irJ(? LIFE
Wednefday, Sept, 26. Rode Home,to theForks oWehwan,
What Reafon have I to blefsGod, who has preferved me in rid-
ing more than 420 Miles, and has kept all my Bones^ that not one
cfthem has been%roken ! MyHealth likewife is greatly rccover'd.
0 that I could dedicate my all to God : This is all the Return
1 can make to him.
Thurfday, Sept, 27. Was fomething melarcholy : Had not
much Freedom and Comfort in Prayer : My Soul is difconfo-
jate, when God is withdrawn.
Friday, Sept, 28. Spent the Day in Prayer, Reading, and
Writing. Felt fomcfm all Degree of warmth inPrayer,and fome
Defires of the Enlargement of Chrift's Kingdom by the Con-
verfron of the Heathen, and that God would make me a chofen
Fejfely to bear his Name before them : Longed for Grace to ena-
ble me to be faithful.
[ The next Day, he fpeaks of vhe fame Longings for the Ad-
vancement of Chrifi's Kingdom, and the Converfion of the In-
dkns ; but complains greatly of the ill EfFedis of theDiverfions
of his late Journey, as unfixing his Mind from that Degree of
Engagednefs, Fervency, Watchfulnefs, k^c, which he enjoyed
before. And the like Complaints are continued the pextDay.]
Monday, O^ob, 1. Was engaged this Day in makingPrepa-
ration for my intended Journey xoSufquahannah : Withdrew fe-
veral Times to the Woods for fecret Duties, and endeavoured
to plead for thedivinePrefenceto go with me to the poorPagans,
to whom I was going to preach the Gofpel. Towards Night,
rode about four Miles, and met Brother Byram ; * who was
come,at myDefire, tobemyCompanion inTravel toihelndians^
I rejoiced to fee him ; and, I truft,God made his Converfation
profitable to me ; I faw him, as I thought, more dead to the
World, it*s anxious Cares, and alluring Ob>6ls, than I was :
and tltis made me look within my felf, and gave me a greater
SenfeofmyGuilt, Ingratitude, and Mifery.
Tuefday, OSfob. 2. Set out on my Journey, in Company
with dear Brother Byram^ and my Interpreter, and two chief
Indians from the Forks of Delaware, Travelled about 25 Miles
and lodged in one of thelaft Houfes on our Road ; after which
there was nothing but a hideous and howling WiUernefs,
* Minifter at a Place called RaMtkus^ about 40 Miles from
Mr. Br diner dU Lodgings,
Wcdn^lday^
r/Mf. David Bramerd. A.D.1744: Y27
Wednefday, Oaob, 3. We went on our Way into the
Wildernefs, and found the moft difficult and dangerous travel-
Jing, by far, that ever any of us had {^zn 5 we had fcarce any
Thing elfe but loftyMountains, deepValleys,and hideousRocks
to make our Way thro'. However, I felt fome Sweetnefs in
divineThings, part of the Day, and had my Mind intenfely cn«*
gaged in Meditation on a divine Subject, Near Night, my
Beaft that I rode upon, hung one of her Legs in the Rocks,' and
fell down under me ; But thro' divineGoodnefs, I was not hurt.
However, fhe broke herLeg ; and being in fuch a hideous Place,
and near 30 Miles from any Houfe, I faw nothing that could be
done to preferve her Life, and fo was obliged to kill her, and to
profecute my Journey on Foot. This Accident made me ad-
mire the divineGoodnefs to me, that my Bones were not broken,
and the Multitude of 'em fill'd with ftrong Pain. Juft at Dark,
we kindled a Fire, cut up a few Bufhes, and made a Shelter over
our Heads, to {blsq us from the Froft, which was very hard that
Night ; and committing our felves to God by Prayer, we lay
down on the Ground, and flept quietly-
[ The next Day, they went forward on their Journey, and at
Night toolc up their Lodging in the Woods in like Manner.]
Friday, OHoh. 5. We arrived at Sufquabannah River, at a
Place called Opeholhaupung f : Found there 12 Indian Houfes r.
After I had faluted the King in a friendly Manner, I told him.
my Bufinefs, and that my Defire was to teach themCbn/iiamiy.
After fome Confultation, the Indians gathered, and I preach'd
to 'em. And when I had done, I afked, if they would hear me
again. They reply 'd, that they would confider of it 5 and fooa
after fent me Word, that they would immediately attend, if I
would preach : Which I did, withFreedom,bothTimes. When
I afked 'em again, whether they would hear me further, they
reply 'd, they would the next Day. I was exceeding fenfible of
the ImpofTibility of doing any Thing for the poor Heathen with-
out fpecial Affiftance from above : And my Soul feem'd to refl
on God, and leave it to him to do as he pleafed in that which I
faw was his own Caufe : And indeed, thro* divine Goodnefs, I
had felt fomething of this Frame moft of the Time while I was
travelling thither j and in fome Meafure before I fet out.
t See hkNarrativ( at theEnd of his Ord, Strmon Pag. 35» 3^-
S ■ ' ■ Saturday,
^28 Ml if. !ratfLIFE ^ -^
Saturday, OSioh* 6. Rofe early, and befoOght the Lord fo?
Help in my great Work; Near Noon, preach'd again to the
Indians : And in the Afternoon, vifited them from Houfe to
Houfe, and invited them to come and hear me again the next
Day, and put off their hunting Defign, which they were juft cn-
tring upon, 'till Monday. This Nighty I truft, the Lord flood by
me to encourage and ftrengthen my Soul : I fpent more than an
Hour in fecret Retirement ; was enabled to pour out my Mean
lefore God^ for the Increafe of Grace in ray Soul, for Minifle-
rial Endowments, for Succefs among the poor IndianSyiot God's
Minifters and People, and for dear Friends vaftly diftant, t^c*
BlefTed me God.
[ The next Day, he complains of great want of Fixednefs and
Intenfenefsin Religion, fo that he could not keep any fpiritual
Thought one Minute without Diftradlion ; which occafion'd
Anguifh of Spirit. He felt (he fays) amazingly Guilty ^ andex*
iremely Miferahle ; and cries out, " Oh my Soul, what Death
*' it \^^ to have the Affections unable to center in God, byRea-
*' fon of Darknefsjand confequently roving after thatSatisfa6lioii
*' elfe where, that is only to be found here !" However, he
preach'd twice to the Indians with fome Freedom and Power :
But was afterwards damp'd by the Ohjeiiions they made againfl
Chrijiianity, In the Evening, in a Senfe of his great Defeats in
Preaching, he intreated God not to impute to him Blood- Guiitinefs j
but yet W3S at the fame Time enabled to rejoyce in God,']
Monday, O^oh. 8. Vifited the Indiam with a Dcfign to take
my Leave of themjfuppofuig they would this Morning go out to
Hunting early j but beyond my Expedation and Hope, they
defired to hear me preach aaain. I gladly complied ^j.ith their
Requcfl, and afterwards endeavoured to anfwer their Ohje^ions
againft Cbriflianity. Then they went away ; and we fpent the
left of the Afternoon in Reading and Prayer, intending to go
Home- ward very early the next Day. My Soul was in fome
Meafure rcfrefli'd in fecret Prayer and Meditation. BlefTed be
the Lord for all his Goodnefs.
Tuefday, C?^i)^. r). We rofe tbout 4 in the Morning, and
commending our felves to God by Prayer, and afking his fpccial
Proted^ion, we fee out on our Journey homewards about 5. and
travelled with great i^eadinefs 'till paft 6 at Night. And then
made us aFirCjand aSholter of Barks, and fo refted. I had fome
clear and comfortable Thoughts on a divine Subjedljby the Way,
towards Night.— - In the Night, the Wolves howi'd around us ;
but God preitrved U5.
[ The
of Mr. David Brainerd. A.D. 1 744. 1 29
[ The next Day, they rofe early, and fet forward, and fra-
vcUefl that Day, 'till they came to an Ir'ijh Settlement, where
Mr. Brainerd was acquainted, and lodged there. He fpeaks of
IbmeSweetnefs in divineThings, andThankfulnefs toGod for his
Goodnefs to him in this Journey, that he felt in his Heart in the
Evening, tho' attended with Shame for his Barrennefs, On
Thurfday, he continued in the fame Place; and he and Mr.
Byram preached there to the People.]
Friday, OSfob. 12. Rode Home to my Lodging J where I
poured out my Soul to God in fecret Prayer, and endeavoured
to blefs him for his abundantGoodnefs tome in my )ate Journey.
I fcarce ever enjoyed moreHealth ; at Icaft, of later Years 5 And
(Sod marvclloufly, and almoft miraculouily, fupported me under
theFatigues of the Way, and Travelling onFoot. BlefTed be the
Lord, that continually preferves me in all my Ways.
[ On Saturday, he went again to the Irijh Settlement, to
fpend the Sabbath there, his Indians being gone.]
.Lord*s-Day, 0^5^. 14. Was much confufed and perplexed
in ray Thoughts ; could not pray ; and was almoft difcouraged,
thinking Ifliouid never be able to preach any more. But after-
wards, God was pleafed to give me' fome Relief from thefe
Confufions : But ftill I was afraid, and even trembled before
God. 1 went to the Place of publick Worfhip, lifting up my
Heart to God for Afliftance and Grace, in my great Work :
And God was gracious to me, and helped me to plead with him
for Holinefsjand to ufe the ftrongeft Arguments with Wm, drawn
from the Incarnation and Sufferings of Chrift for th<s very End,
that Men might be made holy. Afterwards, I was much afTifted
in preaching. I know not that ever God helped me to preach
in a more dofe and diftinguifhingManner for theTrial of Men's
State. Thro' the infinite Goodnefs of God,! felt what I fpakc ;
and God enabled me to treat on divine Truth with uncommon
Clearnefs : And yet I was fo fenfible of myDefeds inPreaching,
that I could not be proud of myPerformanve, as at fome Times ;
And blefTed be the Lord for this Mercy. In the Evening, I
long*d to be entirely abne, to blefs God for Help in a Time of
Extremity 5 and longed for great Degrees of Hoiinefs, that I
might ftiew my Gratitude to God.
\ [ The next Morning, he fpcnt fome Time before Sun-rife in
Prayer, in the fame fweet and grateful Frame of Mind, that he
k^ad been in the Evening before : And afterwards went to hli
Indians i and fpent fome Time in teaching and exhorting them.]
\. S 2 Tuefday,
130 Ml if. Th LIFE
Tuefday, O^ob. 1 6. Felt a Spirit of Solemnity and Watch-
fulnefs ; was afraid I fliould not live to and upon God : Longed
for more Intenfenefs and Spirituality. Spent the Day in Writ-
ing ; frequently lifting up my Heart to God for more Heavcnly-
mindednefs. In the Evening,enjoyed fweet Afliflance in Prayer,
and thirfted and pleaded to be as holy as the blefled Jn^els :
Longed for Minifterial Gifts and Graces, and Succefs in my
Work : Was fweetly affifted in the Duty of Interceffion, and
enabled to remember and plead for Numbers of dear Friends,
and Chrift's Minifters.
[He feemed to have much of the fame Frame of Mind, the
two next Days.]
Friday, O^ob, ig. Felt an abafing Senfe of my own Impu-
rity and Unholinefs ; and felt my Soul melt and mourn, that I
had abufed and grieved a very gracious God, who was ftill kind
to me, notvviihftanding all my Unworthinefs. My Soul en-
joyed a fweet Seafon of bitter Repentance and Sorrow, that I
had wronged that blefTed God, who ( I was perfwaded ) was
reconciled to me in his dear Son. My Soul was now tender,
devout, and folemn. And I was afraid of nothing, but Sin j
and afraid of ihat in every A6lion and Thought.
[The four nextDays,were manifef^ly fpent in a moft conftant
Tendernefs,VVatchfulnefs, Diligence and Self- Diffidence. But
he complains ofWandrings of Mind, Languor of AiFedlions ^^]
Wednefday, Octob, 24. Near Noon, rode to my People ;
fpent fume Time, and pray'd with them : Felt the Frame of a
Pilgrim on Earth ; longed much to 1-^ave this gloomy Manfion ;
but yet found the Exercife of Patience and Refignation. And as
I returned home from the Indians^ fpent the whole Time in
lifting up my Heart to God, In the Evening, enjoy 'd a blefTed
Seafonalone in Prayer ; was enabled to cry toGod with aChild-
like Spirit, for the Space of near an Hour: Enjoyed a fweet
Freedom in fupplicating for my felf, for dearFriends,Minifler5,
and fome who are preparing for that Work, and for the
Church of God ; and longed to be as lively my felf in God's
.Service as the Jngels,
Thurfday, Octob. 25. Was bufy in Writing. Was very
fenfib'e of my abfolutcDcpendance on God in allRefpe£ls ; faw
that I could do nothing in thofe Affairs, that I have fufficient na-
turalKacultiesforjUnlefsGcd fhould fmile upon myAttempt. No\
that weare [ufficunt c[ our felvei^ to think anyThlng^ai of ourfeivss -,
ift'as n facred Text that I law the Truth of.
Fridajv
e/ Mr, David Bralnerd. A.D. 1 744. 13 1
Friday, Octob, 26. In the Morning, my Soul was melted
with a Senfe of divine Goodnefs and Mercy to fuch a vile un-
worthy Worm as I : Delighted to lean upon God, and place my
whole Truft in him : My Soul was exceedingly grieved for
Sin, and prized and longed afterHolinefs ; it wounded myHeart
deeply, yet fweetly, to think how I had abufed a kind God.
I longed to be perfedlly Holyjthat I might not grieve a gracious
G06 i who will continue to love, notwithftanding his Love is
abufed : I longed for Holinefs more for this End, than I did for
my own Happinefs fake : And yet this was my greateft Happi-
ncfs, never more to difhonour, but always to glorify the bleffed
God. Afterwards,rode up to the Indiansy in theAftemoonj^r.
[ The four next Days, he was exercifed with much Diforder
andPain of Body, with a Degree of Melancholy andGloominefs
of Mind, bitterly complaining of Deadnefs andUnproiitablenefa,
yet mourning and longing after God. j
Wednefday, Octob, 31. Was fenfibl^ of my Barrennefs, and
Decays, in theThings of God ; My Soul fail'd, when I remein-
ber*d the Fervency I had enjoyed at .the Throne of Grace.
Oh (I thought) If I could but befpiiitual, warm> heavenly-
minded, and afFedionately breathing,' after God, this would be
better thanLife to me ! My Soul longed exceedingly forDeath,
to be loofed from this Dullnefs andBarrennefs,and made forever
adtlve in the Service of God. I feemed to Wvt for nothing, and
to do no Good : And Oh, the Burden of fuch a Life I Ob,
Death, Death, my kind Friend, haften and deliver me from dull
Mortality, and make me fpiritual and vigorous to Eternity.
Thurfday, November i. Had buft little Sweetnefjs in divine
Things. But afterwards, in the Evening, felt fome Life, and
Longings afterGod ; I longed to be always folemn, devout, and
heavenly-minded 5 & was afraid to leave offpraying,left I fhould
again lofe a Senfe of the fweet Things of God.
Friday, Nov, 2. Was fiil'd /with Sorrow and Confufion, in
the Morning, and could enjoy ^o fweet Senfe of divine Things,
nor get any Relief in Prayer. Saw I deferved, that every one of
God's Creatures fhould be letloofe upon me to be theExccutio-
ners of his Wrath againft me : And yet therein I faw I deferved
what I did not fear as my Portion. About Noon, rode up to
the IfJians ; and while going, could feel no De/ires for them,
gnd even dreaded to fay any Thing to 'em ; but God was
pleafed to give me fome Freedom and Enlargement, and made^
the
f^i JELif. The LIFE
the S^afon comfortabje to me. In the Evening,hadEnlargement
in Prayer. But alas, what Comforts and Enlargements I have
felt for thefe many Weeks paft, have been only tranfient & (hort 5
and the greater Part of my Time has been fillM up with Dead-
nefs, or Struggles with Deadnefs, and bitter Conflids with Cor-
ruption. I have found my felf exercifed forely with fome parti-
cular Things that I thought my felf moft of all freed from. And
thus I have ever found it, when I have tho't theBattle was over,
and the Conqueft gained, and fo let djawn my Watch, the Ene-
my has rifcn up and done me the greateft Injury.
Saturday, Nov. 3. I read the Life andTrials of a godlyMan,
and was much warm'd by it : I wondered at my paftDeadnefs ;
and was more convinced of it, than ever. Was enabled to
confefs and bewail my Sin before God, with Self-abhorrence.
Lord's-Day, Nov,/\.. Had, I think, fome Exercife of Faith
in Prayer, in the Morning : Long'd to be Spiritual. Had con-
fiderableHelp in preaching to my poovlndians : Was encouraged
with them, and hoped that God defigned Mercy for them.
[ The next Day» t He fet out on a Journey to New-Tor k^ to
the Meeting of the Prejbytery there ; and was gone from Home
more than a Fortnight. He feem'd to enter on this Journey
v/ith great Reludance ; fearing, that the Diverfions of it would
prove a Means of cooling his religiousA{Fe6lions,ashe had found
in other Journeys. But yet, in this Journey he had fome fpecial
Seafons wherein he enjoyed extraordinary Evidences and Fruits
of God's graciousPrefence. He was greatly fatigued andexpofed
in this Journey by Cold and Storms ; And when he returned
from New-Tor k to New-Jerjey^ on Friday, w^as taken very ill,
'and was detained by his Ulnefs fome Time.]
Wednefday, Nov. 21. Rode from Newark to Rockciticus in
the Cold, and was almoft overcome with it. Enjoyed fome
Swectnefs in Converfation with dear Mr. Jones, while I dined
with him : My Soul loves the People of God, and efpecially the
Minifters of Jefus Chrift, who feel the fame Trials that I do.
Thurfday, Nov. 22. Came on my Way from Rockciticus to
Delaware River. Was very much difordered with a CcJd and
Pain in my Head. About 6 at Night, I loft my Way in the
f On this Day he concluded his Narrative^ that is at the
End of his Ordination Sfrmon*
t Wildernefs^'
i/ Mr. David Braincfd. ■A.D.1744; jVn
Wilderncfs, and wandered over Rocks and Mouhtains, dov^
hideousSteeps, thro' Swamps, and moft dreadful and dangerous
Places ; And the Night being dark, fo that few Stars could be
feen, I was greatly expofed ; Was much' pinch'd with Cold,
and diftrefs'd with an extream Patn in my Head, attended with
Sicknefs at my Stomach ; fo that every Step I took was diftrcf-
fmg to me. I had little Hope for feveral Hours together, but
that I mutt lie out in the Woods all Night, in this diftrefled
Cafe. But about 9 o'Clock, I found a Houfe, thro* the abun-
dantGbodnefs of God, and was kindly entertained. Thus I have
frequently been expofed, & fometimeslain out the whole Night :
but God has hitherto preferved me ; and blefTed be his Name.
Such Fatigues and Hardftiips as thefe ferve to wean me more
from the Earth ; and, Itruft, will make-Heaven the fweeter.
Formerly, when I was thus expofed to Cold, Rain-, (sf^ . I was
ready to pleafe my felf with the Thoughts of erjoyW?/t>in-
fortable Houfe, a warm Fire, and other outward COTnfprts;
but now thefe have lefs Place in my Heart ( thro' the Grace of
God ) and my Eye is more to God for Comfort. In this World
I expe6l Tribulation ; and it does not now, as formerly, appear
ftrange to me ; I don't in fuch Seafons of Difficulty flatter my
felf that it will be better hereafter ; but rather think, how much
Worfe it might be ; how much greater Trials others of God'ii
Children have endured ; and how much greater are yet per>
haps referved for me. Bleffed be God, that he makes the
Thoughts of my Journey's End and of my Diflblution a great
Comfort to me, under my (harpeftTrials ; & fcarce ever lets thefe ^
Tnoughts be attended with Terror or Melancholy ; but thcy.>
are attended frequently with great Joy. ^
Friday, Nov. 23. Vifited a fick Man ; difcourfed and pray'd
with him. Then vifued another Houfe, where was one dead and
laid out ; look'd on the Corps, and loaged that my Time mightf
come to depart, that I might be with Chri/i, Then went home
to my Lodgings, about one o'Clock. Felt poorly ; but was
able to read, moftcf the Alternoon.
[ Within the Space of the next twelve Days, he pafTed under
many Changes in the Frames and Exercifes oi his Mind. He had
many Seafons of the fpecial influences of God's Spirit, animat-
ing, invigorating, and comforting him in the Wa /s of God and
Duties of Religion ; but had fome Turns of great Deje^iion
and Melancholy. He fpent much Tinae, within this Space, in
haid Labour, with others, to make for himfelf a little Cott?ga^
134 -^/. 27; 5"^^ LIFE
or Hut, to live in by himfelf thro' the.Winter. Yet he frequently
preached to ihtlndians ^k. fpeaks of fpecial Afliftance hchad from
Time to Time, in addrefling himfelf to them ; And of his fomc'.
times having confiderableEncouragement, from theAttention they
gave. But onTuerdayZ)^^/'^^.4. he was funk into greatDifcou-
ragement, to fee 'em ( mofl of 'em ) going in Company to an
idolatrous Feaji and Dance^ after he had taken abundant Pains
with them to diflwade 'em from thefe Things. ]
Thurfday, Decemb. 6. Having now a happy Opportunity of
being retired in a Houfe of my own, which I have lately procur-
ed and moved into, and confidering that it is now along Time
fmce I have been able, either on Account of bodily Weaknefs,
or for want of Retirement, orfome other Difficulty, to fpend
any Time in fecret Fafting and Prayer ; confidering alfo the
greatnefsofmyWork, and the extream Difficulties that attend
it : And that my poor Indians are now worjhipping Devils^ not-
withflanding all the Pains I have taken with them, which almoft
overv^helms my Spirit : Moreover, confidering my extremeBar-
renncfs, fpiritual Deadnefs and Deje£lion, of late ; as alfo the
Power of fome particular Corruptions ; 1 fat apart this Day for
fecret Prayer and Fading, to implore the Bleffingof God on my
fclf, on nsy poor People, on my Friends, and on the Church of
God. At firf^, I felt a great Backwardnefs to the Duties of the
Day, on Account of the feeming Impoffibility of performing
them: But the Lord helped me to break thro' this Difficulty.
God was pleafed, by the Ufe of Means, to give me fome clear
. Convi<Slion of my Sinfulnefs, and a Difcovcry of the Plague of
%Tny own Heart, more affedling than what I have of late had.
And efpecially I faw my Sinfulnefs in this, tha/ when God had
withdrawn himfelf, then, inftead of living and dying in Purfuit
of him, I have been difpofed^to one of thefe two Things ; ei-
ther ( firft ) to yield an unbecoming Refpedt to fome earthlyOb-
jecSls, as if Happinefs were to be derived from them ; or (idly)
to be fecretly froward and impatient, and unfuitably defirous of
Deaths (0 that ( have fometimes tho't I could not bear to think
my Life muft belengthen'd out. And that which often drove
me to this impatient Defire of Death, was aDefpair of doing any
Good in Life ; and I chofe Death, rather than a Life fpent for
Nothing. But now God -made me fenfible of my Srn in thefe
Things, and enabled me to cry to him for Forgivenefs, Yet
this was nor all [ wanted ; for my Soul appeared exceedingly
vfpolluted, my Heart feem'd like a Neft of Vipers, or a Cage of
unclean
cf Mr. David Brainerd; A.D.174^^ i^|
ijnclean and hateful Birds : And therefore I wanted to be pu-
rified by the Blood of Sprinklings that cUanfeth from all Sin. And
this, I hopc,I was enabled to pray for inFaith. I enjoyed much
more Intenfenefs, Fervency, andSpirituality, than I expe^ed*
God was better to me than my Fears. And towards Night*
I felt my Soul rejoyce, that God is unchangeably happy and
glorious 'y that he will be glorified, whatever becomes of his
Creatures. I was enabled to perfevere in Prayer 'till IbmeTime
in the Evening : At whichTime 1 faw fo muchNeed of divine
Help, in every Refpedl, that I knew not how to leave 0% and
had forgot that I needed Food. This Evening, I was much
ailifted in meditating on J/ai. lii. 3. BlelTed be the Lord for
any Help in the paft Day.
Friday, Decemb. 7. Spent fome Time in Prayer, in the
Morning 5 enjoyed fome Freedom and Affefiion in the Duty,
and had longing Defires of being made faithful to the Deaths
Spent a little Time in writing on a divine Subje6t : Then
vifited the Indians, and preach'd to 'em. But under inexpre:fii-
h\Q Dejedion : 1 had no Heart to fpeak to them, and could
not do it, but as I forced my felf : I knew, they muft hate to
hear me, as having but jufl got Home from their idolatrous
Fcaft and Devil-Worfhip. — In the Evening, had fome Free-
dom in Prayer and Meditation.
Saturday, Decern. 8. Have been uncommonly free this Day
from Dejedion, and from that diftreffing Apprehenfion, that
I could do nothing : Was enabled to pray and ftudy with fome
Comfort ; and cfpecially was aflifted in writing on a divine
Subjedt. In the Evening, my Soul rejoyced in God ; and
I blefs*d his Name for fiiining on my Soul. O the fweet
and blefTed Change I then felt, when God brought mt out of
Darknefs into his marvellous Light !
Lord's-Day, Decern. 9. Preach'd, both Parts of the Day,
at a Place call'd Greenwich^ in Neiv-Jerfey^ about loMiles from
my own Houfe. In the firft Difcourfe I had fcarce any Warmth^
or afFe(Slionate Longing forSouls. In the Intermifllon-Seafon I
got alone among the Bufhes, and cried to God for Pardon of my
Deadnefs ; and was in Anguifh and Bittemefs, that I could not
addrcfs Souls with more Compailion and tender AiFeftion :
Judged and condemned my felf for want of this divineTemper :
Tho* I faw I could not get it as of my felf, any more than I
could make a World. In the latter Exercife, blefTed be the
Lord, I had fome Fervency, both in Prayer andPreaching ; and
cfpecially in th« Application of piyDifcguife was enabled to
T addreft
2^6 Mt. 27: fi^^ LIFE
addrefs precious Souls with Affe6lion, Concern, Tcndernefs ar<3
Importunity. The Spirit of God, I thiffk, was there 5 as tl.«
EjfFe(5ls were apparent. Tears running down many Cheeks.
Monday, Dicem. 10. Near Noon, I preach'd again : God
cave me fome Affiftance, and enabled me to be in fome Degree
faithful ; io that I had Peace in my own Soul, and a very com-
fortable Compofure, alM Ifrael Ihiuld mt he gathered. Came
away homGreenwich^znd rodeHcme ; arrived juft in theEvening.
By the Way, my Soul blefs'd God for his Goodnefs ; and I
rejoyced, that fo much of my Work was done, and I fo much
nearer my bleiled Reward . Blefled be God for Grace to be
faithful.
Tuefday, Decern. 1 1. Felt very poorly in Body, being much-
tired and worn cut the laft Night. Was afHfted in fome Mea-
fure in writing on a divineSubjedl : But was fo feeble and fore in
my Breaft, that I bad not much Refolution in my Work. Oh,
how I long for that World where the weary are atReJi ! And yet
thro* the Goodnefs of God I don't now feel impatient.
Wednefday, Decern. 12. Was again very weak ; but fome-
what afEfted in fccret Prayer, and enabled with Pleafure and
Sweetnefs to cry y Come, Lordje/us/ Comey Lordjefus-y corns
quickly » My Soul longed for Gody for the living God. O how
delightful it is, to pray under -fuch fweet Influences \ Oh how
much better is this, than one's neceJfaryFood ! I had at thisTimc
no Difpofition to eat ( tho' lat? in the Morning ; ) for earthly
Food appeared wholly Taftlefs. O how much better is thyLove
than Wine, than the fweeteft Wine !— I vifited and preached
to the Indiansy in the Afternoon 5 but under much Dejection.
Found my Interpreter under fome Concern for his Soul ; which
was 'iome Comfort to me 5 and yet filPd me with new Care,
I longed greatly for his Converfion ; lifted up my Heart to God
for it, while I was talking to him ; CameHome,and poured out
my Soul to God for him : Enjoyed fome Freedom in Prayer,
and was enabled, I think, to leave all with God.
Thurfday, Decern. 13. Endeavoured to fpend the Day in
Fafting and Prayer, to implore the divine Blefling, more efpeci-
ally on my poor People ; and in particular, I fought for con-
verting Grace for my Interpreter^ a.nd three or four more under
fome Concern for their Souls. I was much difordered in the
Morning when I arofe ; but having determined to fpend theDay
in this Manner,! attempted it. SomeFrcedom I had in pleading
for thefe poor concerned Souls, feveral Times ; and when in-
ttrcseding for ihem, Unjoyed greater Freedom from wandring
6^vA
(?/M-. David Bcainerd; A.D.1744: 157
and diflraaing Thoughts, than in any Part of my Supplications:
But, in the general, was greatly exercifcd with Wandrings ; fa
that in the Evening it feemed as if 1 had need to pray for no-
thing fo much as for thePardon of Sins committed in theDay paft,
and theVilenefs I then found in ray felf. TheSins I had moftSeni'b
of, were Pride, and wandring Thoughts, whereby 1 mocked
God. The former of thcfe curfed iniquities excited me to think
of writing, or preaching, or converting Heathen,or performing
fome other great Work, that my Name might live when I (liouid
be dead. My Soul was in Anguifh, and ready to drop into
Defpair, to find fo much of that curfed Temper. VVith this,
and the other Evil I laboured under, i/Zz. wandring Thoughts,
I was almoft overwhelmed, and even ready to give over flriving;
after aSpirit of Devotion ; and oftentimes funk into a confidera-
ble Degree of Defpondency, and thought I was more bruti/h than
any Man, Yet after all my Sorrows, I truft thro' Grace, this
Day and the Exercifes of it have been for my Good, and taught
me more of m)' Corruption, and Weaknefs without Chrift, than
Iknewbeforfe
Friday, Decern, 14. Near Noon, went to the Indians i but
knew'not what to fay to them, and was afliamed to look them
in the Face : I felt I had no Power to addrefs their Confciences,
and therefore had no Boldnefs to fay any Thing. Was, much
of the Day, in a great Degree of Defpair about ever doing or
feeing any Goad in the Land cf the Living,
f He continued under the fame Dejedtion the next Day.]
Lord*s-Day, Decern, 16. Was (o overwhelmed with De-
je£tion,that I knew not how to live : I long'd forDeath exceed-
ingly : My Soul was funk into deep Waters^ and the Floods were
ready to drown me : I was fo much opprefs'd, that my Soul was
in a kind of Horrour : I could not keep niy Thoughts fixed in
Prayer, for the Space of one Minute, without Fluttering andDi-
ftradlion : I was exceedingly a{hamed,thatl did not live toGod :
I had no diftreffing Doubt about my own State ; but would
have cheerfully ventured ( as far as I could poflibly know) into
Eternity. While 1 was going to preach to the Indians^ my
Soul was in Anguifti ; I was fo overborn withDifcourageme^^ ;
that I defpair'd of doing any Good, and was driven to my Witi
End ; I knew nothing what to fay, nor what Courfe to take.
But at laft I infifted on the Evidence we h^/e of the Truth of
Chriftianity from the Miracles o( Chrift; many of which I fet
T 2 before
13^ -^/. 27^ K^ LIFE
before them : And God helped me to make a clofe Application
to thofi; that refufed to believe theTruth of what I taught them :
And indeed I was enabled to fpeak to the Confciences of all,
in feme Meafure. I was fomething encouraged, to find, that
God enabled me to be faithful once more. Then came and
preached to another Company of them ; but was very weary
and faint. In the Evening, I was fomething refrefh'd, and was
enabled to pray and praife God with Compofure and AfFe£lion :
Had fome Enlargement andCourage with Refpedl: to my Work :
Was willing to live, and longed to do more for God, than my
weak ftate of Body woiald admit of. 1 can do all Things through
Chri/i that Jirengthens me ; and by his Grace, I am willing to
fpend and be /pent in his Service, when I am not thus funk in
Peje6tion and a kind of Defpair.
Monday , Decern. 17. Was fomething comfortable in Mincf»
ynoft of the Day ; and was enabled to pray with fome Freedom,
Cheerfulnefs, Compofure, and Devotion ; had alfo fome Af-
(iftance in writing on a divine Subje6l.
Tut^ddiy^ Decemb. 1%. Went to the Indians, and difcourfed
to them, near an Hour, without any Power to come clofe to
their Hearts. But at lalt, [ felt fome Fervency, andGod help'd
ine to fpeak with Warmth. My Interpreter alfo was amazingly
afTifted ; and I doubt not but theSpirit o/God was upon him (tho*
|,had no Reafon to think he had any true and faving Grace, but
was only under Convidtion of his loft State ; ) and prefently
upon this moft of the grown Perfons were much afFedled, and
the Tears ran down their Cheeks ; and one oldMan ( I fuppofe,
^n hundred Years old ) was fo afFedled, that he wept,and feem'd
convinced of the Importance of what I taught them. I ftaid
with them a confiderable Time, exhorting and directing them j
and c^me away, lifting up my Heart toGod in Prayer and Praife,
and encouraged and exhorted my Interpreter to firive to enter in
at th^ /trait Gate, Came home, and fpent moft of the Evening
in Prayer and Thankfgiving ; and found my felf much enlarged
9^^ quicken'd. Was greatly concerned, that the Lord's
^ork which feem'd to be begun, might be carried onwithPower,
to the Converfion of poor Souls,and the Glory of divine Grace.
Wednefday, Decemb. 19. Spenta greatPart of theDay inPray^
er to God for the Out pouring of his Spirit on my poor People j
Bialfo to blefs his Name for awakning my Interpreter ^ and (ome
ethers, and giving us fome Tokens of his Prcfence Yefterday.
And blefied be God, I hid much Freedom, five or fix Times
in the Day, in Prayer and Praife, and felt a weighty Corxern
tspOD
ofMr. David Brainerd. A.D, 1744. 139
upon my Spirit for the Salvation of thofe predous Souls, and
the Enlargement of the Redeemer's Kingdom among them. My
Soul hoped inGod for fomeSuccefs in my Miniftry ; And blefled
be his Name forfo much Hope.
Thurfday, Decemb. 20. Was enabled to vifu the Throne of
Grace frequently, this Day ; and thro' divine Goodnefs enjoy-
ed much Freedom and Fervency, fundry Times : Was much
aflifted in crying for Mercy for my poor People, and feltChear-
fulnefs and Hope in my Requefts for them. Ifpent much of
the Day in Writing s but was enabled to intermix Prayer with
my Studies.
¥nd2iy,Decemb.2i* Was enabled again to pray withFreedom,
Chearfulnefs, and Hope. God was pleafed to make the Duty
comfortable and pleafant to me ; fo that I delighted to perfe-
vere, and repeatedly to engage in it. Towards Noon, vifited
my People, arid fpent the whole Time in the Way to them in
Prayer, longing toy^^ the Power of God among them, as there
appeared fomething of it the laft Tuefday ; and 1 found it fweet
to reft and hope In God. Preach'd to them twice, and at two
diftindt Places : Had confiderable Freedom, each Time, and
(oh^d my Interpreter, Several of 'em followed me from one
Place to the other : And I thought, there was fome divine In-
fluence difcernable amongft them. In the Evening, was aflifted
in Prayer again. BlefTed, blefted be the Lord.
[ Very much the fame Things are exprefTed concerning his
inward Frame, Exercifes, and Afliftances on Saturday, as on
the preceeding Days. He obferves, that this was a comfortable
Week to him. But then concludes, Oh ! That I hadnoReafon
to complain of much Barrennefs. Oh that there were no vainThoUf
end evil JffeSfions lodging within me. The Lord knows how 1 long
for that JVorld^ where they refl not Day nor Nighty faying ^ Holy^
Holy^ Holy^ is the Lord God Almighty^ Sec, On the following
§abbath, he fpeaks of Afliftance and Freedom in his pablick
Work, but as having lefs of the fenfible Prefencc of God, than
frequently in the Week paft : But yet fays,hisSouI was kept from
linking it> Difcouragement. On Monday, again he feem*d to
enjoy very much the fame Liberty and Fervency, thro' theDay,
that he enjoyed thro* tlie greaterPartof the preceeding Week.*]
* This Day he wrote the fifth Ldtgr added at the End of
this Hiftpry,
Tucfdavj
>40 y^/. 27. [The LIFE A.D, 1745:
Tuefday, Decmh, 25.Enjoy'd very little quIetSIeep laftNighf,
by Reafon of bodily Wcakneis, and the clofenefs of my Studies
Yefterday ; YetmyHeart was fomewhat lively in Prayer&Praife :
I was delighted with the divine Glory and Happinefs, and re-
joyced that God was God, & that he was unchangeably poflefs'd
of Glory and Ble/Tednefs. Tho' God held my Eyes ivakingy yet
he helped me to improve my Time profitably amidft my Pains
and Weaknefs, in continued Meditations on Lukexnu "]. Behold
ihefe three Yean 1 come ]e shin g Fruity he. My Meditations were
fwect y and I wanted to fet before Sinners iheir Sin andDanger*
[ He continued in a very low State, as to his bodily Health,
for fome Days : Which feems to have been a great Hindrance
to him in his religious Exercifes and Purfuits. But yet he ex-
prefTes fome Degree of divine Affiftance, from Day to Day,,
thro' the remaining Part of this Week. He preached feveral
Times this Week to his Indians ; and there appeared flill fome
Concern amongft them for theirSouJs. OnSaturday, he rode to
the Jrijh Settlement, about 15 Miles from his Lodgings, in order
to fpend the Sabbath there. ]
LordVDay, D^f^fw^. 30. Difcourfed, both Parts of the Day,
from Mark viii. 34. Who fcever will come after me^ &c. God gave
me very great Freedom and Clearnefs, and (in the Afternoon
efpecially ) confiderable Warmth and Fervency. In tfee Even-
ing alfo, had very great Clearnefs while converling with Friends
on divine Things ; \ don't remember ever to have had more
clear Apprehenfions of Religion in mvLife : But found a Strug-
gle, in the Evening, with fpiritual Piide.
[ On Monday, he preach'd again in the fame Place with
Freedom and Fervency ; and rode home to his Lodging ; and
arrived in the Evening, under a confiderable Degree of bodily
lllnefs, which continued the two next Days. And he complains
much of fpiritual Emptinefs and Barrennefs on thofe Days.]
Thux^6?iy ^January 3.1744,5. Being fenfible of the great want
of divine Influences, and the out- pouring of God's Spirit, I fpent
this Day in Falling and Prayer, to feck fo great a Mercy for my
fei', and my poor People in particular, and for the Church of
God in general. In the Morning, was very Lifelefs in Prayer,
and could get fcarce any Senfe of God. Near Noon, enioycd
fome fweet Freedom to pray that ih^ff'illrfGsdsT.izhi in every
Refpea
of Mr, Dav'id Bralneid. A.D. 1745. 141;
Hcfpedt become mine : And I am perfwaded, it was fo at that
Time in fome good Degree. In the Afternoon, I was exceeding
weak, and could not enjoy much Fervency in Prayer ; but felt
a great Degree of Dejedtion ; which, I believe, was very much
owing to my bodily Wealcnefs and DfTorder.
Friday, Jan, 4. Rode up to the Indians^ near Noon ; fpent
fome Time there under greatDiforder : My Soul was/««/^ down
into ^i^^^^aters^2Si^ I was almoft overwhelmed with Melancholy.
Saturday, Jan* 5. Was able to do fomething at Writing i&t,
but was much difordercd with Pain in my Head. At Nighr, wa?''
diftrefs'd with a Senfeof my fpiritual Pollution, and tzn Thou-
fand youthful, yea,, and childifh Follies, that no Body but; ,ny
id( had any Thought about ; all which appeared to me now
frefh, and in a lively View, as if committed Yefterday,and made
HIV Soul afhamcd before God, and caufed me to hate my felf.
Lord's-Day, Jan. 6. Was ftill diftrefs'd with vapoury Dif-
ordersr Preached to my poor Indians ; but had little Heart or
Life. Towards Night, my Soul was prefs'd under a Sen fe of
myUnfaithfulnefs. O the Joy & Peace that arifes from a Senfe
of having obtain' d Mercy of God to be faithful J And Oh,theMifcry
and Anguifh that fpring from an Apprehenfion of the contrary ?
[ His Deje6tion continued the two next Days ; but not to
fo great a Degree on Tuefday, when he enjoyed fome Freedom
and Fervency in preaching to the Indians,']
Wednefday, Jan, 9. In the Morning, God was pleas'd to
remove that Gloom which has of late opprefs'd my Mind, and
gave me Freedom and Sweetnefs in Prayer. I was encouraged
and flrengthe'd, and enabled to plead for Grace for my (df^ and
Mercy for my poor Indians ; and was fvireetly aflifted in my
Interceffions with God for others. BIcffed be his holy Name
forever and ever ; Amen, and Amen. Thofe Things that of
late have appeared moft difficult and almoft impofTible, now ap-
peared not only pofTible, but eafy. My Soul fo much delighted
to continue inftant in Prayer, at this bleiTed Seafon, that I had
noDefire for my necejfary Food : even dreaded leaving ofFpraying
at all, left I fliould lofe this Spirituality, and this blefTedThanlcful-
nefs to God which I then felt. I felt now quite willing to live,
and undergo all Trials that might remain for me in a World of
Sorrow ; but ftill longed for Heaven, that I might glorify God
in a perfedl Manner. O c-jme, Lord Jefus^ come quickly. Spent
the Day in Reading a little ; and in Ibme Diverfions, which I
was neccflitated to take by Reafon of much Weaknefs and
Diforder. In the Evening, enjoyed fomeFreedom and Intenfe-
lafs ia Prayer, ' [The
142 /^/. 27. TZ^^LIFE
[ The three remaining Days of the Week, he was very low
and feeble inBody ; but nevcrthelefs continued conftantly in the
fame comfortable fweet Frame of Mind, as is exprefled onWcd-
irefday. On the Sabbath, this Sweetnefs and fpiritual Alacrity
began to abate : But ft ill he enjoyed fome Degree of Comfort,
and had Afliftance in preaching to the Indians,}
Monday, Jan. 14. Spent this Day under a great Degree of
\^odi]y Weaknefs and Diforder ; and had very little Freedom,
either in my Studies cr Devotions : And in the Evening, I Vi'as
mach dejeded and melancholy. It pains and diftreffes me,
that I live fo much of my Time for nothing. I long to do much
in a little Time, and if it might be the Lord's will, to finijh mf
Work fpeedily in this tirefom World. Tm fure, I don't defire
to live for any ThiRg in this World ; and thro* Grace I am
not afraid to look the King of Terrors in the Face : I know, I
(hall be afraid, if God leaves me ; and therefore I think it always
Duty to lay in for that folemn Hour. But for a very confidera-
ble Time paft, my Soul has rejoyced to think of Death in its
neareft Approaches ; a«d even when I have been very vi'eak,and
feem'd neareit Eternity. Jslot unto me^ not unto me^ but to God
be the Glory, 1 feel that which convinces me, that if God don't
enable me to maintain a holy Dependance upon him,Death will
eafdy be a Tcrrour to me ; but at prefent, 1 muft fay, Ilongto
depart and to be with Chrijiy which is beft of all. When I am in
a fweet refigned Ffame of Soul, I am willing to tarry a while in.
a World of Sorrow, 1 am willing to be from Home as long as
God fees fit it fhould be io : But when I want the Influence of
this Temper, I am then apt to be impatient to be gone.-— Oh
when will the Day appear, that I fhall be perfect in Holinefs,
and in the Enjoyment of God 1
[ The next Day was fpent under a great Degree of Deje£lion
andMelancholy ; which ( as he himfelf fa> s, he was perfwaded )
was owing partly to bodily Weaknefs, and vapoury Diforders.J
Wednefday, & Thurfjay, Jan. 16 & 17. I fpent moft of
theTimein writing on a fweet divine Subje6l,and enjoyed fome
Freedom and AlHftance. Was likewife enabled to pray more
frequently and fervently than ufual : and my Soul, I think,
rcjosced iR God i efpecially on the Evening of the laft of thefe
Days : Praije then feem'd comely^ and I delighted to blefs the
Lord. O what Rcafon have I to be thankful, that God «ver
.''^' helps
/ yJ
i?/iWir. David Bramerd. A.D.1745: 14^
helps me to Labour and Study for him I He does but receive his
«ar«,when I am enabled in anyMeafure to praife himjlabour for
him, and live to him. Oh, how comfortable and fweetitis^
to feel the Affiftance of divine Grace in the Performance of the
Duties God has enjoined us I Ble/s the Lord^ O my SouL
[ The fame Enlargement of Heart andjoyfulFrame of Soul
continued thro' the next Day. But on the Day following it
began to decline 5 which Decay feems to have continued the
whole of the next Week : Yet be enjoyed fome Seafons of
Ipccial and fweet Affiftance.]
Lord's- Day, Jan. 27. Had the greateft Degree of inward
Anguifh, that almoft ever I endured : I was perfedly over-
whelmed, and fo confufedjthat after I began to ^ifcourfe to the
Jndiansy before I could finifh a Sentence, fometimes I forgot en-
tirely what I was aiming at ; or if, with much difficulty, I had
recolleded what I had before defigned, ftill it appeared ftrange,
and like fomething I had long forgotten, and had now but an
imperfect Remembrance of. I know, it was a Degree of
Diftradlion, occafion'd by vapoury Diforders, Melancholy,
fpiritual Defertion, and fome other Things that particularly
prefs'd upon me, this Morning, with an uncommon Weight,
the principal of which rerpe(5ed my Indians, This diftrelTing
Gloom never went off the whole Day j but wasfo far removed,
that I was enabled to fpeak with fome Freedom and Concern
to the Indians y at two of their Settlements ; and I think, there
was fome Appearance of the Prefence of God with us, fome
Serioufnefs, and feeming Concern among the Indians^ at leaft a
few of them. In the Evening, this Gloom continued ftill, 'till
Family-Prayer, * about nine o'Clock, and almoft thro' this,
until I came near the Clofe, when I was praying ( as I ufualiy
do) for the Illumination andConverfion of my poor People \ and
then the Cloud was fcattcr'd, fo that I enjoyM Sweetnefs and
Freedom, and conceived Hopes, that God defigned Mercy foe
fome of them. The fame I enjoyed afterwards in fecretPraycr ;
Tho' Mr. Brainerd now dwelt by himfelf in the foremen-
tion*d littleCottage,which he had built for his ownUfe.yeC
that was near to a Family of white People with whom he
had lived beforCi and with whom he ftill attended Family-
Prayer,
144 ^^' ^7- ^^^ LIFE
in which preciousDuty I bad for a confiderable Time Sweet-^
ttefs and Freedom, and ( I hope ) Faith, in praying for rriy fcif,
my poor Indians, and dear Friends and Acquaintance in New
■ EnglarJ and elfewhere, and for the dear Intereft of Xim in
general. Bufs the Lor^y O my Soui, and forget not all his
Benefits,
[ He fpent the reft of this Week, or at leaft the moft of it,
under Dejedion a.ndMelancholy : Which on Friday rofe to an
c^ctream Height ; he being then, as he himfelf obferves, much
exercifed with vapoury Diforders. This exceed ingGloomlnefs
continued on Saturday, 'till the Evening, when he was again re-
lieved in Family-Prayer ; and after it, vi^as refrefh'd in fecret,
and felt willing to live, and endure Hardfhips in the Caufe of
God ', and found his Hopes of the Advancement of Chrift's
Kingdom, as alfo his Hopes to fee the Power of God among the
poor Indians, confiderably raifed. ]
Lord's-Day, Feb. 3. In the Morning, I was fomewhat re-
lieved of that Gloom and Confufion, that my Mind has of late
been greatly exercifed with : Was enabled to pray with fome
.. Compofure, and Comfort. But however, went to my Indians
tremblings for my Soul remembredihe Wormwood and the Gall
( I might almoft fay the Hell ) of Friday laft ; and I was greatly
afraid 1 fhould be obliged again to drink of i\\2XCup of Tremblings
which was inconceivably more bitter than Death, and made me
long for the Grave more, unfpeakably more, than for hid Trea-
sures, yea, inconceivably more than the Men of this World long
for fuch Treafures. But God was pleafed to hear my Cries,and
to afford hie great Afiiftance ; fo that 1 felt Peace in my own
Soul ; and was fatisfied that if not one of the Indians fhould be
profited by my Preaching, but fliould all be damned, yet I fhould
be accepted and rcwardecJ as faithful ; for I am perfwaded, God
enabled mc to be io.— Had fome good Degree of Help after-
. ^v^rds, at another Place j and much longed for the Converfion
of the poor Indians, Was fomewhat refrefhed, and comfortable,
. tq,wards Nighr, and \n the Evening. O that my Soul might
praife the Lord for his Goodnefs.--- Enjoyed fomeFreedom, in
ihe Evening, in Meditation on Luke xiii. 24.
^ [ In the three next Days, he was the Subject of much De-
jedlion ; But the three remaining Days of the Week feem to
have been fpent with much Compofure and Comfort, On the
nqxt Sabb.iih, he preach'd at Greenwich in New-Jerfey. In the
Evening, he rode eight Miles to vifit a Tick Man at the Point of
Death, and found him Speecbkfs and Senfclcfs. ]
,; Mdndavj
<»/ Mr. David Brainerd. A.D. 1745; 145
Monday, Feb. n. About Break-of-Dav the firk l\/r,„
died. IwasaffeaedaetheSight: Sp.nt tSofn nfwith^t .^
Mourners; and afrer Prayer, and fome Difcourfe with theZ
1 returned to Greenwich, zv,^ preached again fromP/^/. Ixxxix i c
And the Lord gave me Affiftance : 1 felt afweet Love to
Souls, and to the Kingdom of Chrift ; and longed that poor
Sinners might know the joyful Sound. Several Pcrfons v^^ere much
^^^^f^ And after Meeting, I was enabled to difcourfe with
l-reedom and Concern, to fome Perfons that appffed to me under
fpimual Trouble. Left the Place, i^^^t\y compofed, and red'
home to myHoufe about 8 Miles diftant. Difcourfed re Friends
and mculcated divine Truths upon feme. In the Evening, was
m the moft folemn Frame that almoft ever I remember to have
experienced : 1 know not that ever Death appeared more real
tome or that ever I faw my felf in the Condition of a dead
Corpfe laid out and^drefs'd for aLodging in the filent Grave, fo
evidently as at thisTime. And yet I felt exceeding comfortably :
My Mind was compofed and calm, and Death appeared with^
out a btwg, I think, I never felt fuch an univerfal Mortifica-
tion to all created Objeas as now. Oh, how great and folemn
a I hing It appeared to die \ Oh, how it lays the greateftHonour
in the Duft I And Oh, how vain and trifling did the Riches
Honours, and Pleafures of the World appear I I could not I
dare not, fo mucji as think of any of them : for Death, Death,
lolemn ( tho' not frightful ) Death appeared at the Door. Oh
I could fee my fclf dead, and laid out, and inclofed in myCoifin'
and put down into the cold Grave, with greateft Solemnity,buc
without Terror I If pent moft of the Evening, in conveifing
with a dearChriftianFriend : And,blefled be God, it was a com-
fortable Evening to us both.-- What are Friends? What are
Comforts ? What are Sorrows ? What are Difirt/les ?-- The
Time is/hort : It remains, that they which weep.be asiho' they wept
not ; ^ and they which rejoyce, as tho* they rej^yceJ not : for the
Fa/hion of this World paffeth azvqy, O come, Urd Jefus, ceme
quickly ; Amen.— Blelled be God for the Comfor'ts of the
paft Day.
Tuefday, Feb. 12. Was exceeding weak 3 but in a fweet
refigned, compofed Frame, moft of ^he Day ; Felt my Heart
freely go forth after God in Prayer. ^'
^ednefday, Feb, i^. Was much exercifcd with vapoury
Diforders J butftili enabled to maintain SoIemnity,and i thin^..
Spirituality,
146 mt.if. "The LIFE
Thurfday, Fel^ 14. Spent the Day in writing on a divine
Subjedl : Enjoy'd Health, and Freedom in my Work : Had a
folemn Senfe of Death ; as I have indeed had every Day this
Week, in feme Meafure : What I felt on Monday laft, has
been abiding, in feme confiderable Degree, ever fmee.
Friday, Fgb, 15. Was engaged in writing again almofl the
whole Day. In the Evening, was much aflifted in meditating
on that precious Text, John vii. 37. Jifusjiood and cried &c.
I had then a fweet Senfe of the free Grace of the Gofpel : My
Soul was encouraged, warm'd and quicken'd, and my Defires
drawn out after God in Prayer ; My Soul was watchful, and
afraid of lofing fo fweet a Guefl as I then entertain*d, I conti-
nued long in Prayer and Meditation, intermixing one with the
other j and was unwilling to be diverted by any Thing at all
from (o fweet an Exercife. I longed to proclaim the Grace I
then meditated upon, to the World of Sinners.—- O how quhk
and powerful is the IVcrd of the blelTed God !
[ The next Day, he complains of great Confli<5is with Cor-^
ruption, and much Difcompofure of Mind.]
Lord 's- Day, /v^. 17. Preach'd to the iw^/Zr People ( my
Interpreter being abfent ) in the WiJderncfs upon the funny fide
of a Hill : Had a cofrnderable Affembly, confifling of People
that lived (at lead many of them) not k(s than 30 Miles afun-
der ; fome of them came near 20 Miles. I difcourfed to 'em,
^11 Day, from John vii, 37. Je/us (losd and cried ^ faying ^ JIf ony
Man ihirfl^ &c. In the Afternoon, it pleafed God to grant me
-^reat Freedom and Fervency in my Difcourfe 5 and I was ena-
bled to imitate the Example of Chrift in the Texr,whoy?Wa«d
iried.-" I think, I was fcarce ever enabled to offer the free
Grace of God to perifhing Sinners with more Freedom and
Plainnefs in my Life. And afterwards, I was enabled earneftly
to invite the Children of.God to come renewedly, and drink of
this Fountain of Water of Life, from whence they have here-
tofore derived unfpeakable Saiisfadlion. It was a very comfor-
table Time to me. There were many Tears in the Affembly ;
and I doubt not but that the Spirit of God was there, convincing
poor Sinners of their need of Chrifl.— \:\ the Evening, I felt
compofed, and comfortable, tho' much tired : I had i<^vo.t fweet
Senfe of the Excellency and Glory of God ; and my Soul r?'^
jovced, that he was God over all, hUJJ'ed forever ; but was.t<>®
i«uch Cfoudtd vviih fj-jm^any and C'onverfation, and io»g€^''
to
(?/iHr. David Brainerd. A.D.1745. j^y
to be more alone with God. Oh that I could forever blefs God
for the Mercy of this Day, who anfwered me in the Joy of my
Heart.
[The reft of this V/eek feems to have been fpent under a
Decay of this Life and Joy, and in diftreffing Conflifts with
Corruption ; but not without fome Seafons of Refrefhment
and Comfort.]
Lord's-Day, Feb, 24. In the Morning, was much perplex'd :
My Interpreter being abfent, I knew not how to perform my
Work among the Indians, However, I rode to the Indians^ got
a Dutch' Man to Interpret for me, tho' he was but poorly qua-
lified for the Bufinefs. Afterwards, I came and preach'd to a
few white People from Johnv'u 67. Here the Lord feemed to
unburden me in fome Meafure ; efpecially towards the clofe of
rny Difcourfe : I felt Freedom to open rhe LeveofChriJi to his
own dear Difciples : When the reft of the World for fakes him,
and ^TQforfaken by him, that he calls them no more, he then
turns to his own, and fays. Will ye otfjgo away / I had a Senfe
of the free Grace of Chrift to his own People, in fuch Seafons
of general Apoftacy, and when they themfelves in fome Mea-
fure backflide with the World. O the free Grace of Chrift,
that he feafonably minds his People of their Danger of Back-
flidingy and invites them to perfevere in their Adherence to him-
felf ! I faw that backjliding Souls, who feem'd to be about logo
away with the World, might return, and welcome, to him im-
mediately ; without any Thing to recommend them, ; notwith-
ftandingall their formerBackflidings. And thus my Difcourfe was
fuited to my own Soul's Cafe : For,of late, I have found a great
want of this Senfe and Apprehenfion of divincGrace ; and have
often been greatly diftrefs'd in my own Soul, becaufe I did not
fultably apprehend this Fountain open' d to purge away Sin ; and fo
have been too much labouring for fpiritual Life, Peace of Ccn-
fcience, and progreflive Holinefs, in my own Strength : But
now God (hewed me, in fome Meafure, the Jrmof all Strength,
and the Fountain of nW Grace.—- In the Evening, I felt folemn,
devout, and fweet, refting on free Grace for Ailiftance, Accep-
tance, andPeage of Confcience.
[ Within the Space of the next nine Days, he had frequent
refrefhing, invigorating Influences of God's Spirit; attended
withComplaintof Dulijefs, and withLongings after fpiritualLife
*.n:! holy Fexvency.J
Wednefday^
M^ ^V. 27: " fX^ L I F E
Wednefday, March 6. Spent moft of the Day in preparing
fsr a Journey to New- England. Spent fome Time in Prayer,
with a fpecial Reference to my intended Jouxney. Was afraid
I fhould forfake ihcFountain of livinglVaten ^h attempt to derive
Satisfadtion from brokenCiJierns^my dearFriends&Acquaintance,
with whom I might meet in my Journey. 1 looked to God
to keep me from ihisFanity in fpecial, as well as others. Towards
Night, and in the £vening,was vifited by fome Friends, fome of
whom, I truft, wepe real Chriftians ; who difcovered an af-
fcdionate Regard to me, and feem'd grieved that I was about
to leave them ; efpecially feeing I did not expe6l to make any
confiderable Stay among them, if I fhould Vive to return from
New-England. * O ho^w kind has God been to me 1 How has
he raifed up Friends in every Place, where his Providence has
called me I Friends are a great Comfort ; and 'tis God that
gives them ; 'tis be makes them friendly to me. BUfs the Lordy
O my Souly and forget not all his Benefit u
f The next Day, he (Qt out on his Journey : And it was
about five Weeks before he returned.—- The fpecial Dcfign of
this Journey, he himfelf declares afterwards^ in his Diary for
March 21. Where, fpeaking of his converfing with a certain
Minifter in New- England, he fays thus, Contrived with him how
to raifefome Money among Chrifiian Friends ^ in order to fupport a
Colleague with me in the IViliernejs^ ( 1 having now fpent twoTears
in'avery folitary Manner) that we might be together ; as Chrififent
out hisDifciples^ two and two : And as this was the principal Con^
cern I had in View, in taking this Journey^ fo 1 took Pains in /*/,
und hope God will fucceed it, if for his Glory. He firft went into
various Parts of NeW'Jerfey,?Lnd vifited feveralMinifters there :
And then went to New-Tor k ; and from thence into New-tng-
land, going to various Parts of Conne^icut : And then returned
into Ne W' J er fey : He met aNumber of Minifters at IFoodbridge^
ivho (he fays) met there to confult about the Affairs of Chri/i's King-
dom^ in fome important Articles. He feems, for the molt Part, to
have been free from Melancholy in this Journey ; and many
Times to have had extraordinary Affiftance in publick Miniltra-
tions, and his preaching fometiraes attended with very hopeful
* It feems, he had a Defign^ by what afterwards appears,
to remove and live among thg Jndiar\i at Sujfjuahannah-*
River,
Appear^ncej
<?/ Mr. David Bralncrd. 'A. D. 1 745; 1 49
Appearances of a good EfFeft on the Auditory. He alfo had
many Seafons of fpecial Comfort and fpiritual Refrefhment^ in
Converfation with Minifters and other Chriftian Friends, and
alfo in Meditation and Prayer by himfelf alone.]
Saturday, jfpril 13. Rode Home to my own Houfe at the
Forks of Delawaie : Was enabled to remember the Goodnefs of
the Lord, who has now preferved me while riding full 600 Miles
in this Journey ; has kept me that none of my Bones have been
broken. BlefTed be the Lord, who has preferved me in this
tedious Journey, and returned me in Safety to my own Houfe.
Verily 'tis God that has upheld me, and guarded my Goings.
Lord's-Day, April i^. Was difordered in Body with the
'Fatigues of my latejourney ; but was enabled however to preach
fo a confiderable AlTembly of white People, gathered from all
Parts round about, with fome Freedom, from Ezek. xxxiii. 11,
As 1 live, faith the Lord Gody Sec, had much moie AfHftance
than I expe(Sed.
I This Week, he went a Journey to Philadelphia, m order
to engage the Governour there to ufe his Intereft with the Chief
Man of the Six Nations, { with whom he maintained a llrict
Frfend{hip)that he would give himLcav^e to Uve ztSufquahannah.^
and inflrudt the Indians that are within their Territories. * in
his Way to and from thence, he lodged with Mr. Beaty, a
young Prefbyterian Minif^er. He fpeaks df Seafons of fweel
fpiritual Refrefhment, that he enjoyed at his Lodgings]
Saturday, April 20. Rode with Mr. Beafy to Abington^ to
attend Mr. TnaC^ Adminiftration of the Sacrament, accoe'-ding
to the Method of the Church of Scotland. When we arrived^
we found M.r.Treat preaching ; Afterw2rds I preached aSsrmoii
from Maith. v. 3. Bleffed an the Paor in Spirit, 5c c. Gcd was
pleafed to give me great Freedom auJ Tendernefs, both inPra^-
er and Sermon ; The Aflbmbly was (weeily melted, and Scores
The Indians ziSufquahannah are a mix'dCompany of many
Nation^-, fpeaking various Languages, and few Oi 'em pro-
perly of the Six Nations. But yet the Country having
formerly been conquered by the Six Nations, they claim
the Land'; and the Sufquah'innah-Inciiav.i. are a kind of
Vafiah to them.
were ',
"150 ^/. 28. 7^^ LIFE
were all in Tears. It was, as I then hoped and was afterwar(?3>
abundantly fatisfied by converfing with them, a Word fpoken in
Sea [on to many weary Souh. I was extremely tired, and my Spi-
rits much exhaufted, fo that I could fcarcely fpeak loud j yet I
could not help rejoicing in God.
Lords-Day, jfprilii. In the Morning, was calm and com*
pofed,and had fome out-goings of Soul afterGod in fecretDutieSj
and longing Defires of his Prefence in the SunSiuary and at his
Table ; that his Prefence might be in the Afiembly ; and that
his Children might be cntertain'd with a Fea/i of fat Things,-"'
In the Forenoon, Mr. Treat preach'd. I felt fome AfFe6tion and
Tcndernefs in the Seafon of tbeAdminifh-ation of theOrdinance-
Mr. ^eaty preached to the Multitude abroad, who could not
half havecrouded into the Meeting-Houfe. In the Seafon of the
Communion, I had comfortable and fweet Apprehenfions of the
blifsful Communion of God's People, when they fliall meet at
tlieir Father's Table in his Kingdom, in a State of Perfection.—
In theAfternoon, I preach'd abroad to the whole Aflembly5from
Rev* xiv. 4. Tbefe are they that follow the Lamb, &c. God was
pleafed again to give me very great Freedom and Clearnefs, but
notfo much Warmth as before. However, there was a moft a-
mazing Attention in the whole AfTembly ; and, as I was in-
formed afterwards, this was a fweet Seafon to many.
Monday, Jpr, 22. I enjoy'd fome Swcetnefs inRetiremenf,
in the Morning. >j^t eleven o'Clock, Mr. Beaiy preach'd,witb
Freedom and Life. Then 1 preach'd from "foh, vii. 37. and
concluded the Solemnity. Had fome Freedom ; but not equal
to whst I had enjoyed before : Yet m thePraver, the Lord ena-
bled' me to cry ( I hope) with a Child-like Temper, withTen-
dernefs and Brokennefs of Heart.--- CameHome with Mr, Seaiy
to his Lodgings ; and fpent the Time, while riding, and after-
wards, very agreably on divine Things.
Tuefday, Jpril 23. Left Mr. ^eaty^s, and returned Home to
the Forks ot Delaware : Enjoyed fome fweet Meditations, on
the Road, and was enabled to lift up my Heart to God inPrayer
and Praife.
[ The two next Days, hefpeaksof much bodily Difordefj
but of fome Degrees of fpiritual Affiftance and Freedom, j
Friday, April 26. Converfed with a Chriftian Friend mi%
fnrreVVarmth j and felt a Spirit of Mortification to theWorld-j^
in a \QTy great Degree, Afterwards^ was enabled t9 pray^«*r'
vent'/
of Mr. D^vid Brainerd. A.D. 1745. Y^i
Vcntlyj and to rely on God fweetly, for all Things pertaining u
Life and Godlinefs, Juft in the Evening, was viiited by a dear
Chriftian Friend, with whom 1 fpent an Hour or two in Con-
verfation, on the very Soul of Religion. There are many with
whom I can talk about Religion : But alas, 1 find fev& with whom
I cm ii[\i Religion it felf : But, blefled be the Lord, there are
Tome that love to feed on the Kernel, rather than the Shell.
[ The next Day, he went to the Iri/h Settlement, often be-
fore mentioned, about 15 Miles diftant ; where he fpent the
Sabbath, and preached with fome confiderable Affiftance. On
Monday,he returned, in a very wcakState,to his ownLodgiBgs.l
*
Tuefday, jfpril 30. Was fcarce able to walk about, and was
obliged to betake my felf to the Bed, much of the Day j and
fpent away the Time in a very folitary Manner ; being neither
able to read, meditate, nor pray, and had none to converfe
within that Wildernefs. Oh, how heavily does Time pafs
away, when I can do nothing to any good Purpofe 5 but feem
obliged to trifle away precious Time ! But of late, I have (ttn
it my Duty to divert my felf by all lawful Means, that I may be
fit, at leaft fome fmall Part of my Time, to labour for God.
And here is the Difference between my prefent Divcrfions, and
thofe I once purfued, when in a natural State. Then I
made a god of Diverfions, delighted in them with a NegleiSl of
God, and dreiv my higbeft Satisfad^ion from them : Now I ufe
them as Means to help me in living to God ; fixedly delighting
fn Him^ and not in them, drawing my higheft Satisfadion from
Him* Then they were my Jll ; now they are only Means
leading to my JIL And thofe Things that are the greateft Di-
verfion, when purfued with this View, don't tend to hinder, buc
promote my Spirituality ; and I fee now, more than ever, that
they are abfolutely necefTary.
Wednefday, A/ay i. Was not able to fit up more than half
the Day ; and yet had fuch Recruits of Strength fometimes^
that I was able to write a little on a divine Subjedt, Was
grieved that I could no more live to God. In the Evening,
had fome Sweetnefs and Intenfenefs in fecret Prayer.
Thurfday, May 2. In the Evening, being a little better In
Health, I walk'd into the Woods, and enjoyed a fweet Seafon
of Meditation and Prayer. My Thoughts run uponP/^/.xvii. 15.
J. Jhall befatufiedy when I awake with thfLikenefs, And it was
'fldeed a preciou&Text to me. 1 long'd to preach to the whole
X ' " World;
Tsi mLi%: !rj<f LIFE
World : And it feem*d to me, they muft needs all be melted
in hearing fuch precious divineTruths, as I had then aView and
Relifh of. MyThoughts were exceeding clear,and my Soul was
refrefhed. ---BleiTed be the Lord, that in my late & prefent
Weaknefs, now for many Days together, my Mind is not gldo-
my, as at fome other Times.
Friday, May 3. Felt a little Vigour of Body and Mind, in
the Morning : Had fome Freedom, Strength, and Sweetnefs
in Prayer. Rode to and fpent fome Time with my Indians^
In the Evening, again retiring into the Woods, I enjoyed feme
fweet Meditations on Ifaiah liii« i. Tet it pleofed the Lord to
brulje him^ &c.
[ The three nextDays were fpent in much weaknefs of Body :
But yet he enjoyedfomeAffiftance in publick and privateDuties :
and feems to have remained free from Melancholy.]
Tuefday, May 7. Spent the Day mainly in making Prepa-
ration for a Journey into the Wildernefs. Was flijl weak, and
concerned how I fhould perform fo difficult a Journey. Spent
fome Time in Prayer for the divine Bleffing, Diredion and
Protedtion in my intended Journey ; but wanted bodily Strength
to fpend the Day in Falling and Prayer.
[The next Day, he fet out on his Journey to Sufquahannah^
with his Interpreter. He endured great Hardfhips & Fatigues
in his Way thither thro' a hideous Wildernefs ; where, after
having lodged one Night in the open Woods, he was overtaken
with a North- Eaflerly Storm, in which he was almoft ready to
perifh. Having no Manner of Shelter, and not being able to
make a Fire in fo great a Rain, he could have no Comfort if he
ftopt ; therefore determined to go forward, in Hopes of meeting
with fomeShelter, without which he tho't it impoilible he (hould
live thcNight thro' : But theirHorfes hap'ning to have eatPoifon
(for want of otherFood) at a Place where they lodged the Night
l)efore,were fo Tick that they could neither ride nor lead 'em, but
"weic obliged to drive *em before them, and travel onFoot ; until
thro* theMercy of God (juft atDufkjthey came to aBark-Hutr,
where they lodged thatNight. Atter he came ioSufquahannah^ho
travelled about theLength of an lOoMiles on theRiver,& vifited
JnanyTowns & Settlements of theJndians ; faw fome of 7 or 8
diftin<5i Tribes ; and preached to difFerentNations, by different
Interpreters. He was fometimss much difcouraged, arid funk
zn his Spirit?, thro* iks Oppolitigq thst appeared in the* hdiant
'of Mr. David Brainerd. A.D. 1745. 15^
,to Chriftianity. At other Times, he was encouraged by the
, Difpofition that feme of thefq People manifefted to hear, and
Wiliingnefs to be inftrufte4. He here met with fome that had
formerly been his Hearers at Kaunaumeeh^ and had removed hi-
ther ; who faw and heard him again with great Joy. He fpent
a Fortnight among the Indiam on this River ; and pafs'd thro*
confiderable Labours and Hardfliips, frequently lodging on the
Ground, and fometimcs in the open Air ; And at length he fell
extremely III, as he was Riding in the Wildernefs, being feized
with anAgue, followed with a burning Fever, and extremePains
in his Head and Bowels, attended with a great Evacuation of
Blood J fo that he tho*t hemuft have perifhed in theWilderncfs:
But at laft coming to an Indian Trader's Hutt, he got Leave to
ftay there ; and tho' without Phyfick or Food proper for him, it
pleafed Godjafter about aWeek's Diftrefs, to relieve him fo far
that he was able to ride^ He returned homewards from Ja«-
tauta^ an Ifland far down the River ^ where was a confiderable
Number of Indians^ who appeared more free from Prejudices a-
gainft Chriftianity, than moft of the other Indians, He arrived at
theForks o( Delaware on Thurfday-^-3y 30, after having rode in
this Journey about 34oMiles. f He cameHome in a very weak
State, & underDeje6lion of Mind 5 which was a greatHindranCe
to him in religious Exercifes. However, on the Sabbath, after
having preach'd to the Indians, he preach'd to the white People,
with fome Succefs, from Jfai, liij. 10. Te< it pleafed the Lord t a
bruife him^ ^c. fome being awakened by his preaching. The
next Day, he was mu<:h e;iercifed for want of fpiritual Life
and Forvency.]
Tuefday, June 4. Towards Evening, was in Diftrefs for
God*s Prefence and a Senfe of divine Things : Withdrew my
felf to the Woods, and fpent near an Hour in Prayer and Me-
ditation ; and I think, the Lord had CompafTion on me, and
gave me fome Senfe of divine Things ; which was indeed re-
frefti-ing & quick'ning to me : MySoul enjoyed Intenfenefs and
Freedom in Prayer, fo that it grievM me to leave the Place.
Wednefday, June 5. Felt thirfting Defires after God, in
the Morning. In the Evening,enjoyed a precious Seafon ofRe-
tiremgijt : Was-favoured with fome clcaj: and fweetMeditations
upon a facrcd Text ; DivineThings open'd with Clearnefs and
t This is the Journey which he occafionally mentions in his
primed Joar/igl^ P# 53»-56»
X t Certaiftty
154 Mt:i%. r/&^LIFE
Certainty, and had a divine Stamp upon thero f My Soul was
alfo enlarged and refrefh*d inPrayer ; and I delighted to continue
in the Duty ; and was fsveetly afHfted in praying for Fellow-
Chriftians, and my dear Brethren in the Miniftry. Blefledbc
the dear Lord for fuch Enjoyments. O how fweet & precious
it is, to have a clear Apprehenfion & tcnderSenfe of the My/iery
of Goalinefsy of true Holinefs, & Likenefs to the beft of Beings !
O what a BlefTednefs it is, to be as much like God, as 'tis poifi-
ble for a Creature to be like his great Creator ! Lord, give me
more of ^^y Likenefs : I (hall he fatisjied, when I awake with it.
Thurfday, June 6 Was engaged, a confiderable Part of the
Day, in Meditation and Study on divine Subjects. Enjoyed
fome fpecial Freedom, Clearnefs, and Sweetnefs in Meditation.
O how refrefhing it is, to be enabled to improve Time well !
[ The next Day, he went a Journey of near fifty Miles to
2sJeft)amingy to aflift at a Sacramental Occafion, to be attended at
Mr. Beaiy's Meeting- Houfe s being invited thither by him and
his People, j
Saturday, June 8. Was exceeding weak and fatigued with
Riding in the HeatYefterday : But being defired, I preached in
the Afternoon, to a crouded Audience, from Jfai. xl. i. Comfort
ycy Comfort ye my People^ faith your God. God was pleafed to
give me great Freedom, in opening the Sorrows of God's Peo-
ple, and in fetting before them comfortingConfiderations. And,
blefied be the Lord, it was a fweet melting Seafon in the AfTem-
biy.
Lord's-Day, June c^. Felt fome longing Defires of the Pre-
fence of God to be with his People on the folemnOccafion of the
Day. In the Forenoon, Br. Beaty preached ; and there appear-
ed fome Warmth in the AfTembly. Afterwards, I afHfted in the
Adminittration of the Lord's Supper : And towards the clofe of
it, I difcoarfed to the Multitude eatempore^ with fomeReferencc
to that facred PafTagc Ifai. liii. lO. Tet it pleafed the Lord to bruife
Him, Here God gave me great Afliftance in addreffingiinners :
And the Word was attended with amazingPower ; manyScores,
li not Hundreds, in that great AfTembly, confifting of three or
foul- Thoufand, were much afFeded ; fo that there was a very
vr/nt Alourningy like the Adourning of Hadadrimmon. — - In
the Evening, I could hardly look any Body in the Face, be-
\-aufe of the Imperfedlions I faw yfjIfkM Performances in the
Monday^
oj Mi: David Brainerd. A.D. 1 745. 155
Monday, June 10. Preacb'd with a good Degree of Clearners
and feme fwcet Warmth, from Pfal. xvii. 15. Ijhall he fath^
^ed^ when 1 awake with thy Likenefs, And blefled beGod, there
was a greatSoleiiinity,and Attention in the Afiembly, and fweet
Refreflimcnt among God's People ; as was evident then, and
afterwards.
Tucfday, June i r. Spent the Day mainly in Converfatloil
•with dear Chriftian Friends ; and enjoyed fome fweet Senfe of
divine Things. O howd'efirable itrs, to keep Company with
<jod's dear Children ! TheCc arc the exreilent (Dnes 0/ the Earthy
in whom^ I can truJy fay, is oil my Delight, O v/hat Delight
will it afford, to meet them all in a State of Perfedion ! Lord,
prepare mc for that State.
[ The next Day, he left Mr.5^ff/>'s,and went to Maidenhead
in New J erf ey, and fpent the next feven Days in a com-
fortable State of Mind, vifiting feveral Minifters in thofe Parts.]
Tuefday, June i^. Set out from New-Brunfwick with a
Defign to vifit fome Indians at a Place called Crofweekjung in
New-Jerfey^ towards the Sea. f In the Afternoon, came to a
Place called Cranberry^ and meeting with a ferious Minifter,
Mr. Mc Nighty I lodged there with him. Had fome Enlarge-
ment and Freedom in Prayer with a Number of People.
f Mr. Brainerd having, when at Bofton^ wrote and left with
a Friend a brief Relation of Fa6!s touching hisLabours with
the Indians 2nd Reception among them, during the Space
of Time between Nov. 5. 1744, and Ju^e 19. 1745. (with
a View to connect his Narrative, at the End of Mr. Pern-
berton^s Ordination-Sermon, and his Journal, in Cafe they
fhouldever be reprinted) concludes the fame with this
PafTage : yfj my Body was very feeble, fa myMin^ was fear ce
ever fo much damped and difcourag'd about the Converfton of
the Indians, as at this Time, And in this State of Body and
Mind J made my firji Viftt to the Indians in New- Jerfcy,
where God was ■pleas'' d to difplay his Power i^ Grace in the
remarkable Manner that I have reprefented in my printed
Journal,
PART
y^S Mt.zi. Tie LIFE
Part VIL
From his Jirji Beginning to preach to the
Indians at Crofweekfung, V/7/ he r^-
turrid from his lajl Journey to Sufqua-
hannah ill with the Confumption^ whereof
'" he died.
r IT 7 E are now come to that Part of Mr. Brainerd'z Ufe^
L VV wherein he had his greateft Succefs^ in his Labours for
the good of Souls, and in his particular Bufinefs as a
IVliiTionary to the Indians » An Account of which, if here pub-
lifh'd, would doubtlefs be very entertaining to the Reader, after
he hasfeen by the preceeding Parts of this Account of his Life,
how great and long-continued his Defires for the fpiritual Good
of this Sort of People were,how he prayed, labouredj^c wrefUed,
9nd how much he denied himfelf and (uiFered,to this End. After
all Mr. Brainerd's agonizing in Prayer, and travailing in Birth,
(or the Converfion of Indians^ and all the Inteichanges of his
raifed Hopes and Expedations, and then Difappointments and
Difcouragcments ; and after waiting in a Way of perfevering
Prayer, Labour and Suffering, as it were through a \ongNight ;
at length the Day dawns : IVeeping continues for a Night, but Joy
comes in the Morning, Me went forth weepings bearing precious
tleed^ and now he comes with Rejoycinvy bringing his Sheaves
with him. The defircd Event is bro't to pafs at laft ; but at a
Time, in a Place,and uponSubje<3s,that fcarce ever entered into
his Heart. An Account of this would undoubtedly now much
gratify the Chriflian Reader : And it fhould have been here in-
ferred, as it (lands in his Diary, had it not been, that a particu-
lar Account of this glorious and wonderful Succefs was drawn
up b; Mr. ^r^/W^ himfelf, purfuant to the Order of the ho-
nourable Society in Scotland^ and publifh'd by him in his Life-
time 5 v/hich Account many have in flicir Hands j and tbein-
fcrtinc^
'6f Mr, David Braincrd: A.D. 1 745: i^j
Iferting it here would- too much fwell this Book, ag was faid
before in the Preface. However, I look upon the want of this
Account here, as a real Defe6l in this Hiftory of Mr. Braimrd's
Life ; which, I v/ould hope, thofe of my Readers, who are not
already poffefs'd of his publick Journal, will fupply, by procur-
ing one of thofe Books, that they mayn't be without that which
in fome Refpeds is the moft remarkable, and to a Chriftian
Mind would be the moft pleafantPart of the wholeStory. That
theReader who is furnifh'd with one of thofe Books, may know
the Place where the Defers of thisHiftory are to be fupplied from
thence, I fhall either exprefly obferve it as I go along, or elfe
make a dafli or ftroke thus Which when the Reader finds
in this 7th Part of this Hiftory,he is to underftand by it, that in
that Place fomething in Mr. Brainerd'i Diary^vrorth obferving,
is lift out, becaufe the fame for Subftance was publifhed before
in his printed Journal.]
Wednefday June 19. 1745. Rode to the Indians at Crofweek*
fung : Found few at Home : Difcourfed to them however ; and
obferved them very ferious and attentive. At Night I was ex-
treamly worn out, and fcarce able to walk or fit up. Oh, how
tirefome is Earth ! How dull the Body I
Thurfday, June 20. Towards Night, preach'd to the Indians
again ; and had more Hearers than before. In the Evening,
cnjoy'd fome Peace and Serenity of Mind, fome Compofure and
Comfort in Prayer alone; and was enabled to lift up my Head
with fome Degree of Joy, under an Apprehenfioa that my Re-
demption draw* nigh. Oh, blefTed be God, that there remains
a Refi to his poor weary People !
Friday, June 21. Rode toFre^boldyto (eeMr JVilliamTennent;
and fpent the Day comfortably with him. My finking Spirits
were a little raifed and encouraged ; and I felt my Soul breath-
ing after God, in the midft of Chriflian Converfaiion. And in
the Evening, was rcfrefh'd in fecret Prayer : Saw my felf a poor
worthlefs Creature, without Wifdom to dire<5t, or Strength to
help my felf. Oh, blefTed be God, that lays me under a happy,
a blefTed Ncceffity of living upon himfelf !
Saturday, June 22. About Noon, rode to the Indians again -^
and ncarNight,preach'd to 'em. Found myBody much ftrength-
en'd,and was enabled to fpeak with abundantPlaioners& Warmth.
And the Power of God evidently attended the Word ; f> that
fundry Perfons were brought under greatConcern for their Souls*
a«d made to ihe<J many Tears, and to wifh for Chrifl to favc
ibera.
158 JEt. 28: W^LIFE
them. My Soul was much refrcfh'd,and quicken'd,in myWork^
andl could not but fpend much Time with them, in order to
open both their Mifery and Remedy, This was indeed a fweet
Afternoon to me. While riding, before I came to the Indians^
my Spirits wererefrefh'd, and my Soul enabled to cry to God
almoft incefTantly, for many Miles together. In the Evening
alfo I found the Confolations ofGod were not fmall : I was then
willing to live, and in feme Refpedts defirous of it, that I might
do fomething for the dear Kingdom of Chrift 5 and yet Death
appeared pleafant : So that I was in fome Meafure in a Strait
between two,having a defire to depart. I am often weary of
this World, and want to leave it on that Account : But 'tis
defirablc to be drawn, rather than driven out of it.
[ In the four next Days is nothing remarkable in his Diary,
but what is in his publick Journal. ]
Thm((\zy, June 27. MySoul rejoiced, to find,tbatGod ena-
bled me to be faiihtul, and that he was pleafed to awaken thefc
poor Indians by my Means. O how Heart- reviving, and Soul-
refrefhing is it to me to fee the Froit of my Labours !
Friday, J'aw^ 28. In theEveningjmySoul was revived, and
my Heart lifted up to God in Prayer, for my poor Indians^ my
Self and Friends, and the dear Church of God. And O how re-
frefihing, how fweet was this ! Blefs the Lord, O my Soul, and
forget not his Goodnefs and tender Mercy.
Saturday, June2<^. Preach'd twice to the Indians i and could
not but wonder at their Serioufnefs, and the Stridtnefs of their
Attention. BlefTed be God, that has inclined their Hearts
to hear. And O how refrefhing it is to me, to fee them attend
withfuch uncommon Diligence afid AfFedtion, with Tears in
their Eyes, and Concern in their Hearts ! In theEvening, could
not but lift up my Heart to God in Prayer, while riding to my
Lodgings : And biefled be his Name, had AlTiftance and Free-
dom. O how much better than Life is the Prefence of God 1
[ His 7);flry gives an Account of nothing remarkable on the
two next Days, befides what is in his publick Journal ; except-
inghis Heart's being lifted up with Thankfulnefs, rejoicing in
God, i^c,-]
Tuefday, y^/y 2. Rode from xhtlndiam toBrunfwick^ near 40
Miles, and lodged there. Felt my Heart drawn *ut after God
in Prajer^ almoft all the Forenoon i -efpecially while riding.
And
£?/ Afr. David Bramerd; A.D.i;45: i^^'
And in the Elyening, could not help crying to God for thofe
poor Indianfi and after I went to Bed, my Heart continued to
go out to God for them, 'till I dropM afleep. O blcflcd be God a
that I may pray !
[ He was fo beat out by conftant preaching to tbefe Indianr,
yielding to their earneft and importunate Defires, that he found
it neceflary to give himfelf feme Relaxation. He fpent therefore
about a Week in Neuf-^erfiy^zher he left thefe Indians, vifiting
fevcralMinifters, and performing feme neceflary Bufinefs, before
he went to the Forks of Delaware. And tho' he was very \veak
inBody, yet he feems to have been ftrongin Spirit. OnFri^y,
July 12. he arrived at his own Haufe ia theForks of Delaware ;
continuing (till free from Melancholy ; from Day to Day, en-
joying Freedom, Affiftance and Refrefhment in the inner Man*
But on Wednefday, the next Week, he feems to have had fome
melancholy Thoughts about his doing fo litUe for God 5 being
fo much hindered by weaknefsof Body.]
Thurfday, July 18. Longed to fpend the little Inch of Time
I have in the World more for God. Felt a Spirit of Seriouf'^
nefs, TendernefsjSweetners, and Devotion, and wifti'd to fpend
the whole Night in Prayer and Communion with God.
Friday, July 19. In the Evening, walked abroad for Prayer
and Meditation, and enjoyed Compofure and Freedom in thefe
fweet Exercifes ; efpecially in Meditation on Rev. iii. i2. Him
that over Cometh, will 1 make a Pillar in the Temple of my God &c.
This was then a delightful Theme to me, and it refrefhed my
Soul to dwell upon it. Oh, when fliall I go no more out from
the Service and Enjoyment of the dear Lord ? Lord, haften
the blefTed Day.
[ Within the Space of the next fix Days, he fpeaks of much
inward Refrefliment and Enlargement, from Time to Time.]
Friday, July 26. In the Evening, God was pleafed to help
me in Prayer, beyond what I have experienced for fome Time ;
efpecially my Soul was drawn out for theEnlargement of Chrifl's
Kingdom, and for the Converfion of my poor People : and my
Soul relied on God for the Accomplifhment of that great Work.
Oh,how fweet were theThoughts of Death to me at thisTime !
Oh, how I longed to be with Chrift, to be imployed in the glo-
fious Work of Angels, and with an Angel's Freedom, Vigour
Y and
i£o M. 29. "Ihe LIFE
and Delight ! And yet bow willing was I to ftay a while on
Earth, that I mig^it do Something, if the Lord pleafed, for his
Intcreft in the World ! My Soul, my very Soul, longed for the
Ingathering of the poor Heathen ; and I cried to God for them
moft willingly and heanlly ; and yet becaufe I coald not but cry.
This was a fweetSeafon ; for I had fome lively Tafte of Heaven,
and a Temper of Mind fuited in fome Meafure to the Employ-
ments and Entertainments of it. My Soul was grieved to leave
the Place ; but my Body was weak and vi^orq out, and it was
near nine o'clock. Oh, I longed that the remaining Part of
myLife might be fill'd up with moreFervency andAftivity in the
Tilings of God ! Oh the inwardPeace,Compofure, andGod-like
Serenkyof fuch aFrame ! Heaven muft ncedsdiffer from thisonly
in Degree,and not inKind. Lord^ever give ms this Sread of Lifs,
^ [ Much of this Frame feem'd to continue the next Day.]
. Lord's-Day, July 28. In the Evening, my Soul was melted,
and my Heart brol^n, with aSenfeof paftBarrennefsand Dead-
iiefs : And Oh, howl then longed to live to God, and bring
forth much Fruit to his Glory I
Monday, July 29. Was much exercifed with a Senfe of
Vilenefs, with Guilt and Shame before God.
[ For other Things remarkable, while he was this Time at
the Forks o^ Delaware ^ih^ Reader mufl be refer'd to his publick
Journal, As particularly for hisLabours andSuccefs there among
the Indians,
On Wednefday, July 31. He fet out on his Return to Crof-
weekfungyTivA arrived there the nextDay* In his Way thither, he
had longing Defires that he might come to ih^lniians therc,in the
fulnefio/the BUJfing oftheGcfpel ofChri/i ; attended with a Senfe
of his own great Weaknefs^ Dependance and Wonhlefnefs. J
Friday, Auguji 2, In the Evening, I retired, and my Soul
wsrs drawn out in Prayer to God ; efpecially for my poor Peo-
ple, to whom I had fent Word that they might gather together,
that I might preach to 'em the next Day. I was much enlarged
in Praying for their faving Converfion ; and fcarce ever found
my Defires of any Thing of this Nature fo fenfibly and clearly
( to my own SatisfacSlion) difintereited, and free from felliffe
Views. It feem'd to me, 1 had no Care, or hardly any Defire
to be the Inftrument of fo glorious a Work, as I wifh'd and
pray'd for among the Indians'. If the blefled W^ork might be
accompliflied to ihe Honour of God, and the Enlargement of
the dear Redeemer's Kingdom, this was all my Dcfire and
Care; and for this Mercy I hoped, but with Trembling,; ^o\A
felt
e/ Mr. David Brainerd. A.D.1745. 161
fek what 7^^ exprelTes, Chapter ix, 16. My nUnz Hopes, re-
fpCiSling the Converfion of the Indiansy have been fo often dafh-
ed, that my Spirit is as it were brokenj and Courage wafted,
and 1 hardly dare hope.
[ Concerning his Labours and marvellous Succefs amongft the
Jndiansyfov the following 16 Days, let the Reader fee hispublick
JournaL The Things worthy of Note in his Diary ^ not there
publiflied, are his earneft and importunate Prayers for the In-
digm^ and the Travail of his Soul for them from Day to Day ;
and his great Refrefhment and Joy in beholding the v/onderful
Mercy of God, and the glorious Manifeftations of his Power
and Grace in his Work among them ; and his ardent Thankf-
givings to God ; his Heart's rejoycing in Chrif?:, as King of
his Church, and King of his Soul -, in particular, at the Sacra-
ment of the Lord's Supper, at Mr. McJSIight\ Meeting- Houfe ;
aSenfeofhis own exceeding Unvvorthinefs j which fometimes
was attended with Deje(5tion and Melancholy.]
Monday, Aug, ic^, Near Noon, I rode toFreehold^ and
preach'd to a confiderableAfTembly, UoaniVlatth, v. 3. It pleafed
God to leave me to be very dry and barren ; fo that I don't re-
member to have been To ftraiten'd for a whole twelve Month
paft. God is juft, and he has made my Soul acquiefce in his
Will in this Regard. 'Tis contrary ioFleJh and Blood to be cut
ofFfrom all Freedom, in a large Auditory, where their Expedta-
tions are much raifed ; but ^o it was with me : AndGod helped
me to fay Amm to it- ; Good is theWill of the Lord, In iheEven-
ing, I felt quiet and compofed, and had Freedom and Comfort
in fecret Prayer.
Tuefday, Aug, 20. Was compofed and comfortable, flill
in a refigned Frame. Travelled from Mr. Tennent's in Freehold
to Elifabeth-Town, Was refrefh'd to fee Friends, and relate
to them what God had done,and was ftill doing among my poor
People.
Wednefday, Aug, 21. Spent the Forenoon in Converfation
with Mr. Dickinfon^ contriving fomething for the Settlement of
the Indians together in a Body, that they might be under better
Advantages for Inftrudtion. In the Afternoon, fpent Time
agreably with other Friends ; wrote to my Brother at College :
But was grieved that Time Aid away, while I did fo little for
God,
Y 2 Friday,
i62 JB^fB. The LIFE
Friday, Aug. 23. In the Morning, was very weak ; but
favoured with fome Freedom and Sweetnefs in Prayer : Was
compofed and comfortable in Mind. After Noon, rode to
Crofweekfung to my poor People.
Saturday, Af. 24. ——Had Cocnpofure SiPeace, while riding
from the Indians to my Lodgings : Was enabled to pour out my
Soul to God for dear Friends in New- England. Felt a fweet
tender Frame of Spirit : My Soul was compofed and refrefhed
in God. Had likewife Freedom and Earneftnefs in praying for
my dear People : BlefTed be God. O the Peace of God thai paf-
jeth aUVnder Handing ! 'Tis impoffible todefcribe thefweetPeacc
bf Confcience, and Tendernefs of Soul, I then enjoyed. O
the blefled Foretaftes of Heaven f
Lord's- Day, yf«^.25. 1 rode to my Lodgings in theEvcn-
ing, blefJing the Lord for his gracious Vifttation of the Indians^
and the Soul-refrefhing Things I had feen theDay paft amongft
them, and praying thatGod would ftill carry on his divineWork
among them.
Monday, ^tt^. 26. 1 went from the Indians to my Lodg-
ings, rejoycing for the Goodnefs of God to my poor People $
and enjoyed Freedom of Soul in Prayer, and other Duties, in
the Evening. Blefs the Lord, O my Soul.
[ The next Day, he fet out on a Journey towards the Forks
oi Delaware, dcCigning to go from thence ioSufquahannah, htioxQ
he returned to Crofweekjung, It was five Days from hisDepar-
ture from Crofweekfung^hzioxc he reach'd ih^Forks^gomg round
by the Way of Philadelphia, and waiting on the Governour of
Penfylvania, to get a Recommendation from him to the Chiefs
of the Indians ; which he obtain'd. He fpeaks of much Com-
fort and fpiritual Refrefhmcnt in this Journey ; and alfo a Senfe
of his exceeding Unworthin^fs, thinking bimfelf the meaneft
Creature that ever lived.]
Lord's- Day, September i. [ At theForks oWelaware ]-
God gave me the Spirit of Prayer, and it was a blefled Seafon in
that Refpecl. My Soul cried toGod forMercy,in an afFe£tionatC
Manner. h\ the Evening alfo my Soul rejoyced in God.
[ His private Diarv has nothing remarkable, for the two next
pays, but what is in his ^MiQkJournaL ]
Wcdnefday,
«>/ il4ir. David Brainerd. A.D. 1745. 163
Wednefday, Sept, 4. Rode 15 Miles to an Iri/h Settlement,
and preachM there from Luke xiv 22.— Jnd yet there is Room.
God was pleafed to afford me fome Tender nefs and Enlarge-
ment in the firft Prayer, and much Freedom, as well as Warmth,
in Sermon. There were many Tears in the AfTembly : The
People of God feemed to melt, and others to be in fome Mea-
fure awaken'd. BlefTed be the Lord, that lets me fee his Work
going on in one Place and another.
[ The Account for Thurfday is the fame for Subftanceas in
his publick Journal.]
Friday, S^pt, 6. Enjoyed fome l^reedom and Intenfenefs of
Mind in Prayer alone ; and longed to have mySoul more warm'd
with divine and heavenly Things. Was fomewhat melancholy,
towards Night, and longed to die and quit a Scene of Sin and
Darknefs j but was a little fupported in Prayer.
f This Melancholy continued the next Day.]
JjOrd'S'DayySept. 8. In theEvening,God was pleafed to
enlarge me in Prayer, and give me Freedom at the Throne of
Grace : I cried to God for the Enlargement of his Kingdom in
the World, and in particular among wy dear People ; was alfo
enabled to pray for many dear Minifters of my Acquaintance,
both in thefe Parti, and in New- England ; and a!fo for other
dear Friends in New- England. And my Soul was fo engaged
and enlarged in that fweet Exercife, that I fpent near an Hour
in it, and knew not how to leave the Mercy-Seat. Oh, how I
delighted to ppey and cry to God ? I faw, God was both able
and willing to do all that I defired, for my felf and Friends, and
his Church in general. I was likewife much enlarged and affift-
cd in Family-Prayer. And afterwards, when I was juft going
to Bed, God helped me to renew myPetitions withArdency and
Freedom. Oh, 'twas to me a bieflcdEveningof Prayer I Blefs
the Lord, O my Seul.
[ The next Day, he fet out from the Fof ks of Delaware to
go to Sufquahannah. And on the fifth Day of his Journey^ he
airived at Shaumoking^ a large Indian Town on Sufquahannah'
River. He performM the Journey under a confiderable Degree
of Melancholy, occafion'd at firfl by his hearing that the Mora-
vians were gone before him to the Su/quahannah-Indiam.]
> Saturdays
1^4 JSf. is: 7beLlFE
Saturday, Sept. 14. [At Shaumoking ] > Jn the Evening,
mySoul was enlarged airofweetly engaged inPrayer ; efpecially,
tbatGoD would fet up hisKingdom in thisPlace, where the Devil
now reigns in the moft eminent Manner. And I was enabled to
afk this for God, for his Glory, and bccaufe I longed for the
Enlargement of his Kingdom, to the Honour of his dear Name.
I could appeal to God with the greateft Freedom, that he knew
it was his dear Caufe, and not my own, that engaged myHeart :
And my Soul cried, Lardy fet up thy Kingdom^ for thine ownG lory.
Glorify thyfelf •, and 1 /hail re Joyce, Get Honour to thy bb-ffed
I^ame : Jnd this is all I defire. Do with me juji what thou wilt,
Blejfed be thy Name forever^ that thou art God^ and that thou wilt
glorify thy f elf . O that the' whole IVorld might glorify thee, O
let thefe poor People be brought to know thet^ and love thee, for the
Glory of thy dear ever-bkjfed Name, I could not but hope, ^that
God would bring in thefe miferable, wicked Indians : Tho'
there appeared little humanProbability of it ; for they were then
dancing and revelling, as if pofTefTed by the Devil. But yet I
hoped, iho' againjl Hope, that God would be glorified, that God's
Name would be glorified b«. thefe poor Indians, I continued
long in Prayer and Praife to God ; and had great Freedom, En-
largement and Sweetnefs, remembring dearFriendsiniV^iu-^w^-
hnd, as well as the People of my Charge. Was entirely free
from that Dejedion of Spirit,with which I am frequently exer*
cifed : Blefied be God.
[ His Diary from this Time toSept, 22. ( the laft Day of his
Continuance among the Indiam at Sufquahannah) is not legible ,
by Reafon of the Badnefs of the Ink. It was probably written
with the Juice of fome Berries found in the Woods, having no
other Ink in that Wildernefs. So that for this Space of Time
the Reader muft be wholly refer'd to his publick Journal,
On Monday, Sept, 23. He left the Indians, in order to his
Return to the Forks of Delaware, in a very weak State of Body,
and under Deje<Stion of Mind, which continued the two firfi
Days of his Journey.]
Wednefday, Sept. 25. Rode ftill homeward. In the Fore-
noon,enjoy'd Free^Dm and Intenfenefs of Mind in Meditation
on Jub xhi. 5 ,6. 1 have heard of Thee by the hearing of the Ear ;
but now mine Eye feeth thee : fVherefore 1 abhor my fel/^ and repent
in Dufi ond /{Jhes, The Lord gave rae Clearnefs to penetrate
into the fweet Truths contained in that Text. It was a com"
furtable^nd fvvcet beafon to me.
Thurfday,
ef Mr. David Brainerd. A.D, 1 745. 1 65
ThurfJay, Sept, 26. Was filll mucfi diforder'd in Body, and
able to ride but flowly. Continued my Journey however.
Near Night, arrived at the Irijh Settlement, about 15 Miles
from mine ovi^n Houfe. This Day, while riding, I was much
exercifcd with a Senfe of my Barrennefs ; and verily thought,
there was no Creature that had any true Grace, but what was
more fpiritual and fruitful than I ; I could not think that any
of God's Children made fo poor a Hand of living to God as I,
Friday, ^ept. 27. Spent confidcrableTime, in the Morning,
in Prayer and Praife to God. My Mind was fomewhat intenfe
in the Duty, and my Heart in fome Degree warm'd with aSenfe
of divine Things : My Soul was melted, to think, that God had,
accounted me faithful^ putting me into the Mihijiry^ notwithftand-
ing all my Barrennefs and Deadnefs. My Soul was alfo in fome
Meafure enlarged in Prayer for the dear People of my Charge,
as well as for other dearFriends. In theAfternoonjVifited foms
Chriftian Friends, and fpent theTime, I think, profitably : My
Heart was warm'd, and more engagec^ in the Things of God.
In the Evening, I enjoyed Enlargement, Warmth, andComfort
in Prayer ; My Soul relied on God for Affiftance and Grace to
enable me to do fomething in his Caufe : My Heart was drawn
out in Thankfulnefs to God for what he had done for his own
Glory among my poorPeopIe of late : And I felt encouraged to
proceed in his Work, being perfwaded of his Power,and hoping
his Arm might be further revealed, for the Enlargement of his
dearKingdom : And my Soul rejoycedin hope of the Glory of Gody
in Hope of the'Adva<ncement of his declarative Glory in the
World, as well as of enjoying him in a World of Glory. Oh,
bleiTed be God, the living God, forever !
[ He continued in this comfortable, fweet Frame of Mind,
the two next Days. On theDay following, he went to his owri
Houfe, in the Forks of Delaware^ and continued ftill in the fame
Frame. ThenextDay, v;hich was Tuefday, he vifited his hir
diam.- Wednefday he fpent mollly in writing the Medita-
tions he had had in his latejourney to Sufquahannah* On Tbarf-
day, he left the Forks of Deiaiuare, and travelled towards Crof-
week/ung, where he arrived on Saturday [OSiob, 5.) and conti-
nued from Day to Day in a comfortable State of Mind. There
is nothing material in his Diary for this Dd^y and the next, but
what is in his printed JournaUl
Monday,
'i66 mui%. ri^LIFE
Monday, 05ioh, 7. Being called by the Church and People
of Enfihampton on Long- IJland ^ as a Member of a Council, to
aflifl and advife in Affairs of Difficulty in that Church, I fet out
en my Journey this Morning, before it was well Light, and tra-
velled to Elijabeih'Tcwn^ and there lodged. Enjoyed fomc
Comfort on the Road, in Converfation with Mr. WiUiamT^en-
nenty who was fent for on the fame Bufmefs.
[ He profecuted hisjourney with theotherMiniflers that were
fent for; and did not return till O^o^. 24. While he was at
£a/i' Hampton^ the Importance of the Bufmefs that the Council
were come upon, lay with fuch Weight on his Mind, and he was
fo concerned for the Intereft of Religion in that Place, that he
flept but little for feveral Nights fucceflively. In his Way to
and from Ea/i- Hampten, he had feveral Seafons of fweetRefrcfh-
ment, wherein his Soul was enlarged and comforted with divine
Confolations, in fecret Retirement ; and he had fpecial AlTift-
ance in publick minifterial Performances in the Houle of God ;
and yet, at the fame Time, a Senfe of extreme Vilenefs and Un-
prftfitablenefs. He from Time to Time fpeaks of Soul-refrefh-
ment and Comfort in Converfation with the Miniflers that tra-
velled with him ; and feems to have little or nothing of Melan-
choly, 'till he came to tjic Weft-End of Long-jpand^ in his
Return. After that, he was opprefled withDejedlion andGlocmi-
refs of Mind, for feveral Days together.— For an Account of
the four firft Days after his return from his Journey, I refer the
Reader to his publick "Journal,
Monday, 0^<s^.28. Had anEvening of fweelRefrefhing;
my Thoughts were raifed to a blefled Eternity ; my Soul was
melied with Defires of per fcdt Holinefs, and perfectly glorifying
God.
Tuefday, Osioh. 2C). About Noon, rode and viewed the
Indian Lsnds at Cranberry : Was much dejefted, and grea:ly
perplexed in Mind : Knew not how to lee any Body again, my
Soul was fo funk within me. Oh that thefe Trials might make
rne more humble and holy. Oh that God would keep me
from giving Way to fmful Deje£lion, which may hinder my
Ufefulnefs.
Wednefday, O£iob. 30. My Soul was refrefhed with a
View of the Conticuance of God's blefTed Work among the
Jndians,
Thurfday, Oaob. 31. Spent moft of the Day in Writing :
Enjoyed not much fpiritualCcmfort ; but was not fo much funk
with Melancholy as at fomc other Times.
Friday^
cf Mr, David Bralnerd. A.D. 1 745. 1 67
Friday, Nov. i. [See the publick jfsumal ]
Saturday, Nov, 2. Spent the Day with thelndians, and wrote
fome Things oMmportance; and long'd to do more for God,
than I did, or couid do in this prefent feeble and imperfedStatc.
[ Nov. 3. & 4. [ See the publick Journal. ]
Tuefday, Nov. 5. He left the Indians, and fpent the remain-
ing Part of thisWeek in travelling to variousParts oiNew-Jerfey^
in order to get a ColleElion for the Ufe of the Indians^ and to
obtain a School- Ma/ier toinftru6t them. And in the meanTime,
he fpeaks of very fweet Refreftiment and Entertainment with
Chnftian Friends, and of his being fweetly employed, while
riding, in Meditation on divine Subje6ls ; his Heart's being en-
larged, his Mind clear, his Spirit refrefhed with divine Truths,
and Jiis Hearths burning zviihin him, while he went by the JVay^and
the Lord opened to him the Scriptures. ]
Lord's- Day, Nov. 10. [ At Elizabeih-Town. ] Was com-
fortable in the Morning, both in Body and Mind ; preach*d in
the Forenoon from 2 Cor. v. 20. God was pleafed to give mc
Freedom and Fervency in my Difcourfc ; and the Prefence of
God feem'd to be in theAfTembly : Numbers were affe(5ted,and
there were manyTears among them. In the Afternoon, preach'd
from LuL xiv. 22. Jnd yet there ii Room, Was favoured wiiii
divine Afliftance in the firft Prayer, and poured out my Soul to
-God with a filial Temper of JNiind ; the living God alio ailifted
me in Sermon.
[ The next Day, he went to New-Town on Long-IJland, i^
a Meeting of the Pr//^>/^ry. He fpeaks of fome fweet Med' ~
tations he had while there, on ChrijVs delivering up the Kin^a:rn
to the Father^ and of hisSoul's being much refrefli'd and warm'J
with the Conlideration of that bliisful Day. ]
Friday, Nov. 15. Could not crofs the Ferry by Rcafon of thf:
Violence of the Wind ; nor could I enjoy any Place of Retire-
ment at the Ferry-Houfe : So that I was in Perplexity. Yet
God gave me fome Satisfaction and Sweetnefe inMeditation,and
lifting up my Heart to God in the midft of Company. And
altho' lome were drinking and talking profanely , which was ir -
deed a Grief to me, yet my Mind was calm and compofsJ-
And I could not but blefs God, that. I was not like to fjjend an
Eternity in fuchCompany. In thcEvening, Ifatdown and wrore
with Compofure and Freedom; and can fay ( through pure
Grace ) it was a comfortable Erening; to my Scui, an Evening
I was enabled to fpend in the Service of God.
Z Saturday,
i68 y^/.28. ne LIFE
Saturday, iVtf^% i6. CrofsM theFerry about tcrt o'CIock ; ar-
rived at Elizabeth-Town near Night. Was in a calm compofed
Frame of Mind, and felt an entire Refignation with Refpe^t to
a Lofs I had lately fuflain'd, in having my Hoife flollen from mc
the !aft Wednefda>Njght,at New-Towr}. Had fomeLongings-of
Sou! for the dear People of Elizabeth-Town^ that God would
pour out his Spirit upon them, and revive hislVork amongft them.
[ He fpent the four next Days at Elizabetb-Town ; for the
moft Part, in a Free and Comfortable State of Mind, intcnfcly
engaged in the Service of God, and enjoying, at fome Times,
the fpecial AlTiftances of his Spirit. OnThurfday,thisWeek,he
rode tofreehoUy^nd fpent theDay under confiderableDejedlion.]
Friday, A^^i/. 2 2. Rode to Mr. Tennem's^ and from thence to
Crofweekfung, Had little Freedom in Meditation, while riding;
V^hich wasaGriefand Burden to my Soul. Oh that I could fill
up all my Time, whether in the Houfe or by the Way, forGod!
I was enabled, I think, this Day to give up my Soul to God,
and put overall my Concerns into his Hands ; and found fome
real Confolation in the T'lought of being entirely at the divine
Difpofal, and having no Will or Intereftof my own. I have re-
ceived my all from God ; Oh that I could return my all to
God. Surely God is worthy of my higheftAfFedlion, and moft
devout Adoration : He is infinitely worthy, that I fhould make
him my laft End, and live forever to him : Oh that I might
never more, in any one Inf!ance,Iive to my felf.
Saturdav, iVw. 2^3. Vifited my People ; fpent the Day with
them : Wrote fome Things of Importance. But was pretty
much dejected, moft of the Day.
[ There is nothing very material in h\sDiary for the four next
Days bat what is alfo in his publick yournal. ]
Thurfday, Nov, 28 I enjoyed fome divine Comfort,
and Fervency in the publick Exercife, and afterwards. And
While ridJKg to my Lodgings, was favoured with fome fweet
Meditations on Luk. ix. 31. Who appeared in Glory^ and /pake
of his Deceaje^ which he /hould accompAJ}} at Jerufalem. My
Tho'ts ran with Freedom, and I faw and felt what a glorious
Subj'dl the D^^/;^ of Chr is r is for ^/.r/yzW Souls to dwell upon
in their Converfaticn. Oh, the Death of Christ ! How in-
finitely/)r^f/^ttj /
[ For the three next Days, fee the publick Journa\.\^
Moniay, Deccmb, 2. Was much afFedted with Grief, vhat I
had not lived more to God ; and ft I' ftrong Refviut? • u-
bl.;my Diligence in m) Maftcr's^c/vicc.
of Mr. David Brainerd. A,D. 1745. 169
[ After this, he went to a Meeting of the Frefhytery^ at a
Place mNewJ er J ey ^C'hWqo Connect tcut- Far mi ; which occafion'd
hisAbfence from his People the reft of this Week. He fpcaks
of fomeSea'bnsof Sweetnefs, Soiemniiy and fpiritual AfFe<5lion
in his Abfence.
Lord*s-Day, Decemb, 8. See his publick Journal,'^
MoHi^ay, Decern. 9. Spent moft of the Day in procuring
Provifions, in Order to my fetting up Houfe- keeping among
the Mians* Enjoyed little Satisfaction thio* the Day, beirg
veryfmuch out of my Element.
Tuefday, Decemh. 10. Was engaged in the fame Bufincfs
as Yefterday. Towards Night, got into my own Houfe.*
VVednefday, X)^^^;;?. II. Spent the Forenoon in neceffary
Labour about my Houfe. In the Afternoon, rode cut upon
Bufinefs, and fpent the Evening with fome Satisfadiion among
Friends in Converfation on a feiioas and profitable Subjedl.
f Thurfday, Decern. 12. See his publick Journal.'^
Friday, Decern, 13. Spent the Day mainly in Labour about
my Houfe. In the Evening, fpent fome Time in writing ;
but was very weary, and much out-done with the Labour of
the Day.
Saturday, Decern. 14. Rofe early,and wrote by Candle- Light
fome confiderable Time ; fpent moft of the Day in writing :
But was fomewhat dejeded. in the Evening, was exercifed
wiih a Pain in my Head.
[ For the twonextDays5fee his ^MhWckJournal The remain-
der of thisVVeek he fpent chiefly in writing : Some part of the
Time under aDegree of Melancholy i but fome Part of it with
a fweet Ardency in Religion.]
Saturday, Decern. 21. ' ■■ After my Labours with the /«*
dlans^ I fpent fome Time in . writing fome Things divine and
folemn i and was much wearied with the Labours of the Day ;
This is the third Houfe that he built to dwell in by hlm-
felf among the /«(Sf>*(J«; ; The iirft at Kaunaumeek in the
County of Albany ; the fecond at the Forks of Delaware
in Penfylvania : And now this at Crofwtikfung in iV«w/-
Z 2 found
1 70 Ml 28. t;6^ L I F E i 745.
found that mySpirits were extretnelvfpent, and that I could do
no more. I am confcious to my felf that my Labours are as
great and conftant as my Nature will bear, and that ordina-
rily I go to theExtent of my Strength i So that I do all I can :
But the Mifery is, 1 don't labour with that heavenly Temper,
that fmgle Eye to the Glory of God,^ that [ long for.
[ Lord's-Day, Decern, 42. See the publicky^arw^^/.]
Monday, and Taefday, Decern, 23 & 24. Spent thefe Days
in Writing, with the urm)ft Diligence. Felt in the main a
fweet Mortification to the World, and a Defire to live and la-
bour (.nlv for God ; but wanted more Warmth andSpirituality,
a more fenfib'e and afFe^ionate Regard to the Glory of God.
[ Wednefday, Dec. 2^. See the publick y^^wrwa/. ]
Thurfday, and Friday, Decern. 26^ h IJ Laboured in my
Studies, to the utmoft of myStreagth : And tho' I felt a fteady
Dirpofition of Mmd to live to God, and that I had nothing in
this VV .rid to live for ; yet I did not find that fenfibleAfFeftion
in the Service of God, that I wanted to have ; myHeart feem'd
barren, ibo* my ^ead and Hands were full of Labour,
[ For the four next Days, fee his publick Journal.^]
"VVeJnefday, January i 1745,^6. 1 am thisDay begln-
Tiing a New Tear ; and God has carried me thro' numerous
Trials and Labours in th® pafl. He has amazingly fupporced
my feeble Frame ; for having obtained Help of God, 1 continue
to this Day O that ( migiit live nearer to God, this Year,than
I did the bft. The Bufinefs I have been called to, and enabled
to go through, I know, has been as great as Nature could bear
up under, and what would have funk and overcome me quite,
without fpecial Supoort. But Alas, Alas I Tho' 1 have done
the Labours, and endured the Trials, with what Spirit have I
done the one, and barn the other ? How cold has been the
Frame of my Heart oftentimes I And how little have I fenlibly
eyed the Glory of God, in all my Doings andSufferings ! I have
found, that I could have no P;.-ace without filling up all my
"?'inne with Labours ; and thus NecejlJity has been laid upon me ;
vea, i:i that Refpedl, I have loved to labour : But theNdi/isry is,
t coaU noi fenfihly labour for God^Ti^ \ would have done. May
■ for the future be enabled more fenlibly to makti the Glory of
* On the fiiol of thefeDays he wrote the 6ih£^//<r herep«t>-
;;ih\i a: 'h^' Kfi;i
hi"-
^/ Mr. David Brainerd. A.D. 1746. 171
[ For the Space from this Time 'till the next Monday, fee
the publick Journal.']
Monday, Jan. 6 Being very weak in Body, I rode for my
Health. While riding, my Thoughts were fweetly engaged,
for a Time, upon the Stone cut out of the Mountain without Handiy
which brake in Piecef ?M before it, znd wax^d great, and became
a great Mountain^ and filled the whole Earth : And 1 longed that
Jesus fhould take to him/elf his great Power, and reign to the
Ends of the Earth, And Oh, how fweet were the Moments,
wherein I felt my Soul warm with Hopes of the Enlargement
of the Redeemer's Kingdom ! I wanted nothing elfe but that
Christ ftiould reign^ to the Glory of his blefled Name.
[ The next D2iy he complains of want of Fervency. ]
Wednefday, Jan, 8. In the Evening, mv Heart was drawn
out afterGod in fecret : My Soul was refrefh'd and quicken'd ;
and I truft, Faith was in Exercife. I had great Hopes of the
Ingathering of precious Souls to Chrift 5 not only among my
own People, but others alfo. I was fweetly refigned and com-
pofcd under my bodily Weaknefs ; and was willing to live or
die, and defirous to labour for God to the utmoft of my
Strength.
Thurfday, Jan. 9. Was ftill very weak,and much exercifed
with vapoury Diforders. In the Evening, enjoyed fome En-
largement and Spirituality in Prayer. Oh that I could always
fpend my Time profitably, both in Health and Weaknefs.
Friday, Jan. 10, My Soul was in a fweet, calm, compofed
Frame, and my Heart fill'd with Love to all the World ; and
Chriftian Simplicity and Tendernefs feemed then to prevail and
reign within me. NcarNight^vifited a feriousBaptift- Minifter,
and had fome agreable Converfation with him ; and found that
I could tafte God in Friends.
[ For the four next D^yiy fee the publick journal,]
Wednefday, Jan. 15. MySpirits were very low and flat, and
I could not but think I was aBurden toGod*sEarth ; and could
fcarcely look any Body in the Face, thro* Shame and Senfe of
Barrennefs. God pity a poor unprofitable Creature.
[ The two next Days, he bad fome Comfort and Rs^frefii'
^iCii;. For the two following D^ys, fse the publick JournaL
3^hc
172 Ml 28. ^^i? LIFE
The next Day, he fet out on a Journey to EUfabeth-Tcwn^
to confer with the Correfpondenti at their Meeting there -, and
enjoyadmuch fpiritual Refrefhment from Day to Day, through
this Week. The Things exprcfled in this Space of Time, are
fuch as tbefe ; Serenity, Compofure, Sweetnefs^and Tendernefs
of Soul, Thankfgiving toGod for his Succefs among the Indians^
Delight in Prayer and Praile, fweet and profitable Meditations
on various divine Subjeds, Longing for more Love, for more
Vigour to live to God, for a Life more intirely devoted toGod^
that be might fpend all his Time profitably for God, and la his
Caufe ; converfing on fpiritual Subjects with AfFedion 5 and
Lamentation for unprofitablenefs.
Lord's- Day, ^an. 26 [At ConneSficuh Farms, ] Was calm
and compofed. Was made fenfible of my utter Inability to
preach, without divine Help; and was in fome good Meafure
willing to leave it with God, to give or with-hold Afliflance, as
he faw would be moft for his own Glory. Was favoured with
a confidcrable Degree of Affiitance in my publick Work. After
publick Worihip, I was in a fweet and folemn Frame of Mind,
thankful to God that he had made me in fome Meafure faithful
in addrelling precious Sauls,but grieved that I had been no more
fervent in my Work j and was tende:ly a{Fe6i:ed towards all
the World, longing that every Sinner might be faved ; and
could not have entertained any Bitternefs towards the worft
Enemy living. In the Evening, rode to EUfabeth-Town : while
aiding, wasalmoft conftantly engaged in lifting up my Heart to
God, left I (hould lofe that fweet heavenly Solemnity and Com-
pofure of Soul I then enjoyed. Afterwards, was pleafed, to
think, that God reigneth ; and thought, I could never be un-
eafy with any of his Difpenfations ; but muft be entirely Satis-
fied, what ever Trials he fliould caufe me or his Church to en-
counter. Never felt more Sedatenefs, divine Serenity andCom-
pofure of Mind : Could freely have left the deareft earthly
Fn'end, for the Society of Jngeh and Spirits of jujl Men made
prj\a : Mv Affedions foar*d aloft to the blelled Author of
every dear Enjoyment : I view*d the Emptinefi andUnfatisfac-
tory Nature of the moft defirable earthly Objeds, any further
than God isfeen in them : and longed for aLife of Spirituality
and inward Purity ; without which, I faw, there could be no
true Plcafure.
[ He retained a greatDegree of thisexcellentFrame ofMInd,
the four next Days. As to his publick Services for and among
the /ndiansy and hisSucccfs in thisTime,fce the publicky^ar«i?/J
bitufday.
of Mr. David Brainerd. A.D. 1 74^; 1 73
Saturday, Feh i. Towards Night, enjoyed fome of the clear-
eft Thoughts on a divine Subje<a ( 7;/z. that treated of 1 Car.
KV, 13,-16.) that ever I remember to have had upon any Sub-
ject wharfoever ; and fpsnt two or threeHoursin writing them.
I was refreHi'd with this Intenfenefs : My Mind wasfo engaged
in thtie vieditations, f could fcarcely turn it to anv Thing elfe ;
and indeed I could not be willing to part with (o fvveet an En^^
lertainment. — — -
Lord's-Day , i^f^. 2 After publickW"orfhlp,my bodily
Strength being much fpent, my Spirits funk amazingly ; and ef-
pecially on hearing that I was fo generally taken to be a Roman
Cathdick, fent by the Papi/^s to draw the Indians into an Infur-
re6tion againft the Englifh^ that fome were in Fear of me, and
others were for having me taken up by Authority and punifh'd.
Alas, what will not the Devil do to bring a Slur and Difgrace
on the Work of God ! Oh, how holy and circumfpedt had I
need to be ! Thro* divine Goodnefs, I have been enabled to
mind my own Buftnefs, in thefe Parts, as well as elfe where ; and
to let all Men and all Denominations of Men alone, as to their .
Party- Notions ; and only preach'd the plain and necelTary Truths
ofChri/iianityy neither inviting to nor excluding from my meeting
Any, or any Sort or Perfwafion whatfoever. Towards Night,
the Lord gave me Freedom at the Throne of Grace, in my firlt
Prayer before my Catechetical Ledlure : And in opening tha
xlvi. Pfalin to my People, my Soul confided in God, altho* the
wicked World fhould llander and perfecute me, or even con-
demn and execute me as a Traitor to my King and Country.
Truly GoD is a prefent Help in Time of Trouble, h^ theE vening*
my Soul was in fome Meafure comrorted, having fome Hope
that one poor Soul was brought Home to God this Day ; tho'
the Cafe did by no Means appear clear. Oh that I could fill
up every Moment of Time, during my Abode here below, ia
the Service of my God and King. •
Moiictay, Feb. 3. My Spirits were ftill much funk with what
I heard -f^he D^ OQtov^, of my being furpe61:ed to be engaged in
the Pretender^ s In tereft : It griev'd me, that after there had been
fo much Evidence of a glorious Work of Grace among thcfepoor
Indians^ as that the moft carnal Men could not but t?.ke Notice
oF the grez.tChan^e made among them, (o many poorSoulsfhould
f^'!l fa fpe£t the whole to be only a P<?/7/^ Plot, and fo caft .^ri
avvfal Reproach on this blefTed Work of the divine SpiRI i' >
and at the fame Tims wholly exclude themfelves from recsivin-^
^:\'^ 3eneficby this divine Influence. This put me upon f^arch-
174 ^/. ^S. The LIFE
ing whether I bad ever drop'd any Thing inadvertently, that
inight give Occafion toany to fufpecSl that I was ftirring up the
Mians sgs'ii^a the Englijh : And could think of Nothing, un-
lefs it was my attempting fometimes to vindicate the Rights of
the 7n<^/^;7j, and complaining of the horrid Pradlice of making
the Indians drunk, and then cheating them out of their Lands and
otherProperties : And once, I remembred, I had done this with
too much Warmth of Spirit. And this much diftrefs'd me 5
thinking that this might polTibly prejudice them againf?^ this
Work of Grace, to their everlafting Deftrudlion. God, I be-
lieve, did me good by this Trial ; which ferved to humble me,
and {hew me the NecelTity of Watchfulnefs, and of being wife
as a Serperjt^ ?.s well as harmhfs as a Dove. This Exercife Wd.
me often to the Throne of Grace ; and there I found fome Sup-
port : I'ho* 1 could not get the Burden wholly removed. Was
affiftcd in Prayer, efpecially in the Evening.
[ fie remained ftill under aDegree of Exercife of Mind about
this Affair ; which continued to have the fame EfFedl upon him,
to caufe him to refledt upon, and humble himfelf, and frequent
the J hrcne of Grace : But foon found himfelf much more re-
lieved and fupported. He was, this Week, in an extremely
weak State, and obliged (aske exprefTes it ) to confume confidern"
ble Timt in Diver fton, for his Health.
For baturday, Feb. 7. And the Sabbath following, fee his
publick Journal.
Tie i\londay after, he fet out on a Tourney to the Forks of
Delaixjcre^ to vifit the Indians there. He performed the Jour-
rey ur.der grejit Wcaknefs, and fometimes was exercifed with
mLch Pjin j but fays nothing of Dejf(^ion and Melancholy.
He arrived at his own Houfe at the Forks ^ en Friday. The
Thirgs appertaining to his inward Frames and Exercifes, cx-
prefb'd witl.iii thisVVeck, are fweetCompofure ofMind,Thank-
fulrcfs ro God f<'r his Mercies to him and others, Refignation
10 the divine Will, Comfort inPrayer and religious Converfation,
his Heart drawn out after God, aid affedtcd with a Senfe
of h:3 own Barrcnnefs, as well as the Fulnefs and Freenefs of
tilvjrc Grace. ]
Lcrc]'f.-Day, Pch. 16 In the Evening, was in a fwcet
crfrpofcd Fri^me of Mind. It was exceeding refielhing and
ccm fortes be, to think, thatGod had been with mc, afFcrdingme
icnie gotd Meafu.c Qt Afliftincc. I then found Freedom and
Sweetnef»
r/M*. David Brainerd; A.D.1746, '175
Swcctnefs in Prayer and Thankfgiving to God ; and found my
Soul fweetly engaged and enlarged in Prayer for dear Friends
and Acquaintance. BlefTed be the Name of the Lord, that ever
f am enabled to do anyThing for his dear Intereft and Kingdom.
BlefTed be God who enables me to be faithful. Enjoyed more
Refolution and Courage for God, and more Refreftiment of
Spirit, than I have been favoured with for many Weeks paft.
Monday, Feb, 17. I was rcfrefhed and encouraged :
Found a Spirit of Prayer, in the Evening, and earneft Longings
for the Illumination and Converfion of thefe poor Indians^
[ Tuefday Feb. 18. See the publick Journal^
Wednefday,/V^. 19.— My Heart was comforted and re-
frefh'd, and my Soul fill'd with Longings for the^ Converfion of
the Indians here.
Thurfday, Feb. 20. " God was pleafed to fupport and
refrcfti my Spirits, by affording me AiTiftance, this Day, and
fo hopeful aProfpedl of Succefs ; and I returned home rejoycing,
and bleUing the Name of the Lord ; and found Freedom and
Sweetnefs afterwards in fecret Prayer, and had my Soul drawn
out for dearFriends. Oh, how bleffed a Thing is it,to labour for
God faithfully, and with Encouragement of Succefs ! BleiTed
be the Lord forever and ever, for the Affiftance and Comfort
granted this Day.
Friday, Feb, 21.— "My Soul was refrefn'd and comforted^
and I could not but blefsGod,who had enabled me in fome good
Meafure to be faithful in the Day paft. Oh, how fweet it is
to be fpcnt and worn out for God I
Saturday, Feb. 22. My Spirits were much fupported*
tho' my bodily Strength was much wafted. Oh that God
would be gracious to the Souls of thefe poor Indians.
God has been verygraciousto me thisWeek : He has enabled me
to preach every Day ; and has given me fome Affiftance, and
encouragingProfpe6l of Succefs, in almoft every Sermon. BlefTed
he his Name. Divers of the white People have been awaken'd
this Week, and fundry of the Indians much cured of their Pre-
judices and Jealoufies they had conceived againft Chriftianity,
and fome feem to be really awaken'd.
[ Lord's- Day, Feb, 23. Sec the publick Journal
The next Day, he left the Forks of Delaware^ to return fo
Grojweekfun^ 5 and fpent the whole Week 'till Saturday, before
A a 'he
-176 ^'/. 28: 2^^ LIFE
he arrived there ; but preachM by the Way every Day, except-
ing one ; and was feveralTimes greatly aflifted ; and had much
inward Comfort, and earneft Longings to fill up all his Time
with the Service of God. He utters fuch Expreflions as thefe,
after Preaching : Oh that J may be enabled to plead the Caufe of
God faithfully^ to my dying Moment. Oh how fweet it would be
to Jpend my f elf wholly for God, and in his Caufe^ and to be freed
fromjelfijh Motives in my Labours I
For Saturday and Lord's-Day, March i & 2. See the pub-
Irck Journal The four next Days were fpent in great bodily
Weaknefs ; but he fpeaks of fomeSeafons of confiderable inward
Comfort.]
Thurfday, Ji^arch 6. / I walked alone in the Evening, and
enjoyed Sweetnefs and Comfort in Prayer, beyond what I have
of late enjoyed : My Soul rejoyced in my Pilgrimage-State^ and
I was delighted with the Thoughts of labouring and enduring
Hardnefs for God : Felt fome longing Defires to preach the
Gofpel to dear immortal Souls ; and confided in God, that he
would be with me in my Work, and that he never would leave nor
for fake me^ to the End of my Race. Oh, may I obtain Mercy of
Cod to be faithful^ to my dying Moment.
Friday, March 7. In the Afternoon, went on in my Work
with Freedom and Chearfulnefs, God afTifting me ; and enjoyed
Comfort in the Evening.
[ For the two next Days, fee the publick Journal'^
Monday, March 10. • ■ My Soul was refrefh'd withFree-
dcm and Enlargement, and ( I hope ) the livelyExercife of Faith,
in fecret Prayer, this Night : My Will was fweetly refigned to
(he divine Will, and my Hopes refpeiting the Enlargement of
the dear Kingdom of Chritt fomcwhat raifed, and could commit
jLioh's Caufe to God as his own.
f On Tuefday, he fpeaks of fome Sweetnefs and Spiritualify
in Chriftian Converfation, On Wednefday, complains that he
enjoyed not much Comfort and Satisfaction, thro* the Day,
btcaufche did but little for God. On Thurfday, fpent confi-
derable Time in Company, on a fpccial Occafion ; but in Per-
plexity, becaufe without favoury religious Converfation. For
Friday, Saturday and Lord*s-Day, fee the publick Journal,
In the fcrmer Part of the Week following he was very^ill ;
and alfo under great Dcjc^^ionj being, as he apprehended,
itndei'd
«/ Mr. David Brainerd. A.D 174^. 177
rendered unferviceable by his Illnefs, and fearing that he fhculd
never be Serviceable any more ; and therefore exceedingly long-
ed for Death. But afterwards was more encouraged, and Life
appeared more defirable ; becaufe ( as he fays) he had a Utile
D2wn of Hope, that he might be ufeful in the Wurld, In the latter
Part of the Week, he was in fome Meafure relieved of his Ill-
nefs, in the Ufe of Means prefcribed by a Phyfician.
For Saturday, and Lord's- Day, March 22 y and 23. See his
publick journal,']
Monday, March 24. After the Indians were gone td
their VVorkjto clear their Lands, I got alone and poured out my
Soul to God, that he would fmile upon thefe feeble Beginnings,
and that he would fettle an Indian Tov/n, that might be aMoun-
tain of Holinefs 'y and found my Soul much refrefhed in thef«
Petitions, and much enlarged for Zion's Intereft, and for Num-
bers of dear Friends in particular. My finking Spirits were re-
vived and raifed, and I felt animated in the Service God has
called me to. This was the deareft Hour I have ^enjoyed for
many Days, if not Weeks. I found an encouraging Hope,
that fomcthing would be done for God, and that God would
ufe and help me in his Work. And Oh, how fweet were th«
Thoughts of labouring for God, when I feltmySpiritandCourage,
and had any Hope that ever I fliould be fucceeded I
[ The next Day, his School-MaJIer was taken Sick with a
Pleurify ; and he fpent great Part of theRemainder of thisVVeek
in tending him : which in his weak State was alnioft an over-
bearingBuriJen to him ; he being obliged coniiantly to waif upoa
him, all Day, from Day toDay,and to lie on the Floor at Night.
His Spirits funk in a conriderableDegree,with his bodily Stiength,
under this Burden.
For Saturday, and Lord's- Day, March 2p, h 30. See the
publick Journal,
Monday, ^art/; 31. Towards Night, enjoyed fome fweet
Meditations on thofe Words, // is good for me to draw near is
God, My Soul, I think, had fome fweet Senfe of what is in*
tended in thofe VVords, »
[ The next Day, he was extremely bufy in tending the School-
Mjfter, and in fome other neceflary AiFairs,that greatly diverted,
him from what he looked upon as his proper Bafinefs : But ycc
fpeaks of Comfort ^and Refrefhment, at fome Times of the
A a a Wedaefday,
178 JEt.iS: "Tbi LIFE
Wedncfday, April «. Was fomewhat cxercifed with a fplrlt-
lefs Frame of Mind. Was a little relieved and refrefli'd in the
Evening, with Meditation alone in the Woods. But alas, my
Days pafs away as the Chaf! 'Tis but little I do, or can do,
that turns toanyAccount ; and 'tis my conttant Mifery andBur-
den^ that 1 am fo fruithrfs in the Vineyard of the Lord. Oh that
I were Spirit, that I might bea6livc for God. This ( I think )
more than any Thing elfe, makes me long, that this corruptible
might put on Jncorruptioriy^nd this mortal put on Immortality, God
deliver me from Clogs, Fetters,and a Body ofDeathy that impede
xny Service for him.
[ The next Day, he complains bitterly of fome Exercifes by
Corruption he found in his own Hearts]
Friday, yfpril 4.. Spent moftof the Day in writing on Rev,
3cxii. 17. And whofoever will, &c. Enjoyed fome Freedom and
EncQiiragement in my Work ; and found fome Comfort and
Compofure in Prayer.
Saturday, April 5. — After publick Worfhip, a Number
of my dear Chriitian Indians came to my Houfe ; with whom
1 felt a fweet Union of Soul : My Heart was knit to them ; and
I cin't fay, 1 have felt fuch a fweet and fervent Love to the Bre^
thren, for fome Time paft : And 1 faw in them Appearances of
the fame Love. This gave me fomething of a View of the hea-
venly Stare ; and particularly that Part of the Happinefs of Hea-
ven, which coriiifts in the Communion of Saints : and this was
affedling tome.
[ For the (wo next Days, fee the publick Journal.
On Tuer!av,he went to aMeetmg of the Prefbytery appointed
at Elifabelh-Town. in his Way thither, he enjoyed fome fweec
Me^liati jns : But after he came there, he was (as he cxprefles
it ) vcrv vop'iurv tjnd rneinnchnly^ and under an awful Gloom, that
opprefled his Mind. And this continued *till Saiurday-Evening,
when he beg. n to have fome Relief and Encouragement. He
fpent the Sabbath at Staten-l(land ; where he preach*d to an
Aflcrnbly of Dutch and Engl'tftj^ and enjoyed confiderable Re-
frefnmcnt and Cunifort, both in pnblick and private. In the
Even 11.*^, he rcturjied to lilifcbfth-Town.]
Montiay, /^(^ril 14. My Spirits this Day were raifed and re-
(fcfl/d, an. I my Mind compofcd, fo that [ was in a comfor tabic
Kr^meGi Suul, mnfl of the Day. In ih* Evening, my Head wa$
cleui^
of Mr, David Bralnerd. A.D. 1 746. 1 79
clear, my Mind ferene; I enjoyed Sweetnefs in fecretPfayer,and
Meditation onPfaL Ixxiii. 28. Oh, how frecjhow comfartable,
cheerful, and yet Tolemn do I feel when I am in a good Meafurc
freed from thofe Damps and melancholy Glooms, that I often
labour under I And biefTed be the Lord, 1 find my felf re-
lieved in this Refpedl.
Tiiefday, Jprili^» My Soul longed for more Spirituality ;
and it was my Burden, that I could do no more for God. Oh,
my Barrennefs \s my daily AffliiSlion and heavy Load ! Oh, how
precious is Time : and how it pains mc, to fee it Aide away,
while I do fo very little to any good Purpofe ! Oh thatGod would
make me more fruitful and fpiritual,
[The next Day, hefpeaks of his being almoft overwhelmed
with vapoury Dlforders ; but yet not fo as wholly to deftroy the
Compofure of his Mind.]
Thurfday, jfpril 17. Enjoyed fome Comfort in Prayer, fome
Freedom in Meditation, and Compofure in my Studies. Spent
fome Time in writing, in the Forenoon. In the Afternoon,
fpent fome Time in Converfation with feveral dear Minifters.
In the Evening, preach'd from Pjal. Ixxiii* 28. But it is good
for me io draw near to God, God helped me to feel the Truth
of my Text, both in the firft Prayer and in Sermon. I was
enabled to pour out my Soul to God, with great Freedom, Fer-
vency, and AfFedtion : And, blefled be the Lord, it was a com-
fortable Seafon to mc. I was enabled to fpeak with Tendernefs,
and yet with Faithfulnefs: And divine Truths feemed to fall
with Weight and Influerffe upon the Hearers. My Heart was
melted for the dear AfTembly, and I loved every Body in it ; and
fcarce ever felt more Love to immortal Souls in my Life ; my
Soul cried, Oh that the dear Creatures might he Javed I Oh that
God luould have Mercy on them I
[ He feems to have been in a very comfortable Frame of Mind
the two next Days.]
Lord V Day, y/pn7 20. % Enjoyed fome Freedom, and, I hope,
Exercife of Faith in Prayer, in the Morning -, efpecially when
I came to pray for 'Zion, I was free from that gloomyDifcour*
agement, that fo often opprefl'es my Mind ; and mySoul rejoyc-
€d in the Hopes of Zion' s Profperity, aai the Enlargement of the
dear Kingdom of the grea,t Redeemer. Oh that his Kingdom
might come I
X This D^y he enter'd into the 29/^ Year of his Age.
Moflday
iSo JEs. 2g: 7^^ LIFE
Monday, Jprii 21. Was compofed and comfortable inMind,
moft of iheDay : Was mercifully freed from thofe gloomy Damps,
that I am frequently exercifed with : Had Freedom and Com-
fort in Prayer, feveral Times ; efpecialiy had feme rifmg Hopes
of Zion's Enlargement and Profperity. And Oh, how refrefhing
were thefe Hopes to my Soul ! Oh that the Kingdom of the
dear Lord might come. Oh that the poor Indians might quick-
]y be gathered in, in great Numbers.
Tuefday, Jpril 22. My Mind was remarkably free, thisDay,
from melancholy Damps and Glooms, and animated in my
Work. I found fuch frefh Vigour and Refolution in the Ser-
vice of God, that the Mountains fcem*d to become a Plain be-
fore me. Oh, biefTed be God for an Interval of Refrefhment,
and fervent Refolution in my Lord's Work ! In the Evening,
my Soul was refrefh'd in fecret Prayer, and my Heart drawn out
for divine Bleffings ; efpecialiy for the Church of God, and his
Intereft among my own People, and for dear Friends in remote
Places. Oh that Zion might profper, and precious Souls be
brought home to God !
[ In this comfortable fervent Frame of Mind he remain*d th«
two next Days.
For the four Days next following, viz, Friday, Saturday,
Lord's- Day, and Monday, fee his publick ^ournaL • • ' On
Tuefday he went to £'///j^(?//?-7i7i(;«, to attend the meeting of
the Prifiytery there : And feem'd to fpend the Time, while
abfcnt from his People on this Oecafion, in a free and comfort-
able State of Mind. J
Saturday, A<f£!y 3. Rode from EUfaheth-Town home to my
People, at or near Cranberry ; whither they are now removed,
and where, I hope, God will fettle them as a Chriftian Congre-
gation. Was refrefh'd in lifting up my Heart to God, while
riding ; and enjoyed a thankful Frame of Spirit, for divine Fa-
vours fecciv'd the Week pafl. Was fomewhat uneafy and
dejeded, in the Evening ; having no. Houfe cf roy own to gg
into in this Place : But God was my Support.
[ Fur Lord's-Day and Mond3y,See the publickj^'tt^^^/ ]
Tuefday, May 6. Enjoy'd fome Spirit and Courage in my
Woik J was in a good Meafurc free from Melancholy : BlefTcd
be God for Freedom from ibis Death.
Wednefday,
of Mr, David Brainer^ A.D. 1 745. 1 8 i
Wednefday, May 7. Spent moft of the Day in writing, as
ufual. Enjoyed fome Freedom in my Work. Was favoured
with fome comfortable Meditations, this Day. In theEvening,
was in a fweet compofed Frame of Mind : ,Wa8 pleafed and de-
lighted to leave all with God, refpcaing my felf, for Time and
Eternity, and refpedting the People of my Charge, and dear
Friends : Had no Doubt but that God would take Care of mcj
and of his own Intereft among my People : And was enabled ta
ufe Freedom in Prayer, as a Child with a tender Father. Oh»
how fweet is fuch a Frame I
Thurfday, May 8. In the Evening, was fome what refrefh'd
with divine Things, and enjoyed a tender melting Frame in fe-
cret Prayer, wherein my Soul was drawn out for the Interefl of
Z/«», and comforted with the lively Hope of the appearing of
the Kingdom of the great Redeemer. Thefe were fweet Mo-
ments : I felt almoft loth to go to Bed, and grieved that Sleep,
was neceflary. However, Hay down with a tender reverential
Fear of God, fenfible that his Favour is Life^ and his Smilea
better than all that Earth can boaft of, infinitely better than
Life it felf.
[ Friday, May 9. See the publick Journal ]
Saturday, May 10. Rode to AlkrCs-Town^ to aiHft in theAd-
miniftration of theLord's-Supper. In the Afternoon, preached
from T//. ii. 14. Who gave him felf for us, &c. God was pleafed
to carry me thro' with fome Competency of Freedom j and yet
to deny me that Enlargement and Power I long'd for. In the
Evening, my Soul mourn'd,and could not biitmourn, that I had
treated fo excellent a Subjedl in fo 6efe€iivQ aManner,thatI had
born fo broken a Teftimony for fo worthy and glorious a Re-
deemer. And if myDifcourfe had met with the utmoftApplaufe
from all the World ( as I accidentally heard it applauded by fome
Perfons of Judgment ) it would not have given me any Satis-
faction : Oh, ir grieved me, to think, that I had had no more
holy Warmth and Fervency, that I had been no more melted
in difcourfing of Chrift's Death, and the End and Defign
of it ! Afterwards, enjoyed fome Freedom and Fervency in fe-
cret and Family-Prayer, and longed much for the Prefence of
God to attend his Word and Ordinances the next Day.
Lord's- Day, AJay 11. Affifted in the Adminiftration of the
Lord's-Supper ;. but enjoyed little Enlargement : Was grieved
and funk with fome Things I thought undefirable, l^c. In the
Afternoon, went to the Houfs of God weak and fick in Soul,
as
182 JEt, 29: ne LIFE
as well as feeble in Body : And longed, that the People might
be cntertain'd and edified with divine Truths, and that an honeft
fervent Teftimony might be born for God ; but knew not how
it was poflible for »< to do any Thingof that Kind, to any good
Purpofe. Yet-x-God, who is rich in Mercy, was pleafed to give
me AiTiftance, both in Prayer and Preaching : God helped me
to wreftle for his Prefence, in Prayer, and to tell him, that h«
had promifcd. Where two or three are met together in his Name^
there he would be in the midfl of them 5 and that we were, at leaft
fome of us, fo met 5 and pleaded, that for his Truth's fake he
would be wiih us. And blefled be God, it was fweet to my
Soul, thus to plead, and rely on God's Promifes. Difcourfed
upon Luke ix. 30, 31. And hehoU^there talked with him twoMeUy
which were Mofes and Elias ; who appeared in Glory^ and fpake
ef his Deceafe^ which he /houldaccomplijhat]txuh\^m. Enjoyed
fpccialFreedom, from theBeginning to the End of myDifcourfe,
without Interruption. Things pertinent to the Subjed were
•abundantly prefented to my View, and fuch a Fulnefs of Mat-
ter, that I fcarce knew how to difmifs the various Heads and
Particulars I had Occafion to touch upon. And, blefled be the
Lord, 1 was favoured with fome Fervency and Power, as well as
i'reedom ; fo that the Word of God feem'd to awaken ihe At-
tention of a ftupid Audience, to a confiderable Degree. I was
inwardly refrefh'd with the Confolations of God ; and could
with my whole Heart fay, Tho^ there be no Fruit in the Fine, Sic,
yit will I rtjosce in the Lord, After publick Service, was rcfrcfh'd
with the fweet Conveifation of fome Chriftian Friends.
[ The four next Days fccm to have been moftly fpcnt with
fpiritual Comfort and Profit. ]
F^riday, ^/tfy 16. Near Night, enjoyed fome agreeable and
fweet ConverfatJQn with a dear Minifter, which, I truft, was
biefs'd to my Soul : My Heart W3s warmed, and my Soul en-
gaged to live to God ; (o that I longed to exert my felf with
more Vigour, than ever I had done, in his Caufe : And thofe
Words were quickniiig to mt^ Herein is my Father glorified^ that
ye bring forth much Fruit, Oh, my Soul longed, and wi(h'd,and
^rav'd, to be enabled to live to God with utmoft Conftancy and
Ardour ! \n the Evening, Cjodwas pleafed to fliine upon me in
fecret Prayer, and draw cut my Soul after himfelf ; and I had
Freedcm in "supplication for my felf, but much more in Inter-
ccffiun for otbcrs : So that I wa« fweetly conftrain'd to fay,£ffr(/,
uft
of Mr. David Brainefd. A.D. 1 74^. 1 S^
ufs me as thou wilt ; do as ihou wilt with me : But Oh, pro"
mote thine own Caufe. Zion is thine -, Oh vt/it thine Her itage i
Oh let thy Kingdom come ; Oh let thy blejfed Inter efi he advanced
in the World, When I attempted to look to God, rcfpe6l-
ing my worldly Circumftances, and his providential Deal-
ings with me, inRegard of my fettling down in my Congregati-
on, which feems to be neceflary, and yet very difRcult, and
contrary to my fix'd Intention for Years paft, as well as my
Difpofition, which has been, and ftill is, at Times efpecially, to
go forth, and fpend my Life in preaching theGofpel from Place
to Place, and gathering Souls afar offt^ Jesus the great Re-
deemer ; when I attempted to look to God with Regard to
tbefe Things, and hisDefigns concerning me, I could only Tiy,
Hhe IVill of the Lord be done : 'Tis no Matter for mQ* Tic
fame Frame of Mind I felt with Refpe6l to another important
Affair 1 have lately had fome ferious Thot's of : I could fay,
with utmoft Calmnefs and Compofurc, Lard^ if it hs mofi fsr
thy Glory ^ let me proceed in it \ hut if thou fee ft that it will in any
wife hinder my lJfefulnef$ in thy Caufe^ Oh prevent my proceeding:
For all 1 want, refpe^ing this fVorld, is fuch Circumftances as
may left capacitate me to do Sefvice for God in the World. But
bleffed be God, I enjoyed Liberty in Prayer for my dear Flock,
and was enabled to pour out my Soul into theBofom cf a tender
Father : My Heart within me was melted, when I came to
plead for my dear People, and for the Kingdom of Chrift m
gfc^neral. Ob, how fweet was this Evening to my Soul f [ knew?
not how to go to Bed ; and when got to Bed, longed for
fome Way to improve Time for God, to fome excellent
Purpofe. Blefs the Lord^ O my SouL
Saturday, May 17. VValk'd out in the Morning, and fc!t
much of the fame Frame I enjoyed the Evening before : Had
my Heart enlarged in praying for xhs Advancement oi the
Kingdom of Chrift, and found uimoft Freedom in leaving all
my Concerns with God.
I find Difcuuragement to be an exceeding Hindrance to my
fpiritual Fervency and Affedion : But when God enables nrc
fenfib'y to find that 1 have done fome thing for Him^ this r.;-
frefbes and animates me, fo that I could break (hrb^all Hi«rt-i-
ih:u?, undergo any Labours, and nothing feems too much cither
Ici ao or to fuffcr. But Oh, what a Death it 15, to ftrive.and
E»ive ; to be always in a Hurry, and yet do Nothings or at, leaft
nothing for God I Alas, Alas, that Time flies away, an J I do
!b iitile for God I
B b Lord's-Day»
;S4 ^A 29. The LIFE
Lord's Da) , May 18. I felt my own utter Infufficicncy for
my Work : God made me to fee, that I was 2iChild ; yea,that
I was a /W. 1 diTcourfed, both Parts of the Day, from Rev,
iii, 10. Behold^ 1 /i^nd at the Door^ and knock. God gave mc
pVecdom and Power in the latter Part of my (Forenoon's) Dif-
courfe ; altho*, in the former Part of it, I felt peevifh and pro-
voked with the unmannerly Behaviour of the white People,who
croudcd in between my People and me ; which proved a great
Temptation to me. But blefled be God, I got thefe Shackles
oft before the middle of my Difcourfe, and was favoured v\^itl»
a fweet Frame of Spirit in the latterPart of the Exercife ; was
full 0/ Love, Warmth, and Tendernefs, in addreffing my dear
People, In the Intermiffion-Seafon, could not but dif-
courie to my People on the Kindnefs and Patience of Chrift \n
ftanding and knocking at the Door^ &c. In the Evening, I
was grieved, that I had done fo little forGod. Oh that I could
be a Flame of Fire in the Service of my God.
[ Monday, May 19. See the publick Journal,
On Tuefday he complains of Want of Freedom andComfortJ
but had lome Return of thefe on Wednefday. ]
Thurfday, May 22. In the Evening, was in aFrame fomc-
what remarkable : Had apprehended for feveral Days before^
that it was the Defignof Providence I fhouldy>///^ among my
People here ; and had in my own Mind begun to mzkz Pro-
vifion for it, and to contrive Means to haflen it ; and found
my Hear: fomething engaged in it, hoping I might then enjoy
more agreableCircumftances of Life, in feveral Refpedts : And
yet was never fully determined, never quite pleafed with the
.Thoughts of being fettled and confin'd to one Place. Never-
thelels I fcem*d to have fome Freedom in that Refpe6l,becaufc
the Congregation I thought of fettling with, was one that God
had enabled mc to gather from arnongft Pagam. For I never
iincc I be^an to preach, could feel any Freedom to enter into
ether Men'i Lahcurs.zud fettle down in the Miniltry where the
Gofpel UJOi preached before ; I never could make that appear to
be my Province : When I felt any Dirpohtioii to confu'lt my
tare and worldly Comforf, God has never given me any Liber*
ty in that Ref]je6l, either fince, or for Years b:f. :c l b^cri,n
to preach. But God having fucceeded my Labours, and iT::&4^
'^' Tiftrutmental cf gathering a Church for him amonfr --
' • rii^ i W43 ;cady to ihiRk, it mi^ht be hi^^t^ign Co i
of Mr. David Brainerd. 'A.D, 174^; 185
a quiet Settlement and a ftated Home of my own. And this,
confidenr?: the late frequent Sinking and Failure of my Spirits,
and the Need I flood in of fome agreable Society, and my great
Defire of enjoying Conveniencies and Opportunities for profi-
table Studies, was not altogether difagreable to me : Altbo*
I Hdl wanted to go about far and wide, in order to fpread the
blelTed Gofpsl among benighted Souls, far remote ; yet I never
had been fo willing to fettle in any one Place, for more than five
Years paft, ?.s I was in the foregoing Part of this Week. But
now thefe Thoughts feem'd to be wholly da(h'd to Pieces ;
not by Neceflity, but of Choice : For it appeared to me, that
God'sDealings towards me had fitted me for a Life of Solitari-
nefs and Harrifhip ; it appeared to me, I had nothing to hSe^
nothing to do with Earth, and confequently nothing to lofe by
a total Renunciation of it : And it appeared juft right, that I
fhould be deftitute of Houfe and Home, and many Comiorts of
Life, which I rejoyced to fee others of God's People enjoy.
And at the fams Time, I faw fo much of the Excellency of
Chrift*s Kingdom, and the infinite Defirabienefs of it's Ad-
vancement in the World, that it fwallowed up all my other
Thoughts ; and made me willing, yea, even rejo) ce, to be
made a Pilgrim or Hermit in the Wildernv^-fs, (o my dying
Moment, if I might thereby promote the blefTed Intereft of the
great Redeemer. And if ever my Soul piefented it fclf to God
for his Service, without anyReferve of any Kind, it did fo now.
The Language of my Thoughts and Difpofition ( altho* I fyzkt
no Words) now were, " Here I am^ Lord, fend me ; (ttid
•' me to the Ends of the Earth ; fend me to (he rough, the
*' favage Pagam of the Wildernefs ; fend me from all that
•* is called Comfort in Earth, or earthly Comfort ; fend me
*^ even to Death it felf, if it be but in thy Service, and to p^re-
*« mote thy Kingdom." And at the fameTime i had asqu-ck
and lively a Senfe of the Value of worldly Comforts, as ever I
had ; but only faw them infinitely overmatch'd by the Worfh
of Chrift's Kingdom, and the Propagation of his blefledGofpa/.
The quiet Settlement, the certain Place of Abode, the tendet
Friendfhip, which I thought I might be likely to enjoy in Con-
fequence of fuch Circumftances, appeared as valuable to me,
confidcrcd abfolutely and in themfelves, as ever before ; but
confider'd comparatively, they appeared nothing .* Compared
with the Value and Precioufnefs of an Enlargement of Chi ifl's
Kingdom, they vanifhM like the Stars before the rifing Sun.
Aad furc I aai) that altho' the comfortab'eAcconimodations of
B b a Life
iS6 yfi/. 29; ^ie LIFE
Life appeared taluable and dear to me, yet I did furrendcr and
refiu^n my felf. Soul and Bodyy to the Service of God, and Pro-
morion of Chrift's Kingdom ; tbo' it fhould be in the Lofs of
them all. Ana I could not do any other, becaufe I could not
will or chufe any other. I was conftrained, and yet chofe, to
fay, Farewelly Friends and earthly Comforts^ the deareji of them
ell, the very dear eft ^ if the Lord colli for it ; Adieu^ Adieu ; I'll
fpend my Lif^^ to my latejl Momently in Caves and Dens of the
Earth, if the Kingdom of Chriji may thereby be advanced^ I found
extraordi-nary Freedom at this Time in pouring out my Soul to
God, for his Caufe ; and efpecially that his Kingdom might
be extended among the Indiansy far remote ; and I had a great
and ftrong Hope, thatGod would do it. I continued wreftling
with God in Prayer for my dear little Flock here ; and more
efpecially for the Indians elfewhere ; as well as for dearFriends
in one Place and another ; 'till it was Bed-Time, and I fear'd
Ifhould hinder the Family, ^c. But Oh, with whatReluc-
tancy did 1 find my XeU obliged to confume Time in Sleep !
i longed to be as a Flame of Fire^ continually glowing in the
divine Service, preaching and building up Chrift's Kingdom,
to my lateft, my dying Moment.
Friday, May 23. In the Morning, was in the fame Frame
of Mind, as in the Evening before. TheGlory of Chrift'sKmg-
dom fo much out-fhone the Pleafure of earthly Accommodati-
ons and Enjoyments, that they appeared comparatively Nothing,
tho* in themfelves good and defirable. My Soul was melted
in fecret Meditation and Prayer, and I found my h\f divorced
trom anyPart in this World ; fo that m thofe Affairs that feena'd
of the greateft Importance to me, in refpe^l of the prefentLife,
and thofe wherein the tender Powers of the Mind are moft
fcndhly touched, I could only fay, The Will of the Lordbedone^
Bu: ji:{t the fame Things that I felt the Evening before, I felt
n3 V ; aRd found the fame Freedom in Prayer for the People
of myChtrge, for the Propagation of the Gofpel among the
Jnaiay^s^ and lor the Enlargement and fpiritual Welfare of Zion
i*» ^<:aeraU and my dear Friends in particular, now, as I did
fixri ; and longed Co burn out in one continued Flame for God.
Recain'd rnucn of the fame Frame through the Day, In the
Vv.Miing. wr.s viiitcd by my Brother John Brainerd: The firft
Vifit 1 have ever received «rom any near Relative, fince I have
been a Mifiion^ry. Felt the fame Frame of Spirit in the Even-
ing, as in the M.'rning i and found ihzt it zuas good for ae (a
.ivuiii ^ffir to God^ \^m lertVCHll my Concerns and Burdezis witb
hinic
(?/ Mr. David Bra r.erd. .4.0,1745. 187
bira. Was enlarged and refrefh'd in pouring out my Soul for
the Propagation of the Gofpel of the Pvedeemer among the
diftant Tribes of Indians. BlefTed be God. If ever I fill'd up a
Day with Studies and Devotion, I was enabled fo to fill up this
Day.
Saturday, May 24. Enjoyed this Day fomething of
the fame Frame of Mind as I felt the Day before.
[ Lord VDay, May 25. S&e the publick Journal.
This Week, at leaft the former Part of it, he was in a very
.w-eak State : but yet feems to have been free frorii Melancholy »
which often had attended the failing of his bodily Strength. He
from Time to Time fpeaks of Comfort and inward Refrefh-
mcnt, this Week.
Lorxl's-Day June i. See the publick y^arna/. J
Monday, June 2. In the Evening, enjoyed fome Freedom
in fecret Prayer and Meditation.
Tuefday, June 3. My Soul rejoyced, early in the Morning,
to think, that all Things wereatGod's Difpofal. Oh, it pleafed
me, to leave 'em there ! Felt afterwards much as I did, on
Thurfday Evening, May 22. laft; and continued in this Frame
for feveral Hours. Walked out into the Wildernefs, and en-
joyed Freedom, Fervency, andComfort, in Prayer : And sgain
enjoyed the fame in the Evening.
W^datidsiyy June 4. Spent the Day in Writing, ami en-
joyed fome Comfort, Satisfa<5tion, and Freedom in my Work.
In the Evening, I was favoured with a fweet refrefliing Frame
of Soul in fecret Prayer and Meditation. Prayer was now
wholly turned into Praife ; and I could dd little elfe but fry to
adore and blefs the living God : The Wonders of his Grace
difplay'd in gathering to himfelf a Church among the poor In-
dians here, were the Subjedl- Matter of my Meditation, and the
Occafion of exciting my Soul to praife and blefs his Name.
MySoul was fcarceever more difpofed to inquire, ^"/^^z 1 fhouli
render to God for all his Benefits^ than at this Time. Oh, I was
brought into a Strait, a fweet and happy Strait, to know what
to do! I longed to make fome Returns to God j but found I
had nothing to return : I could only rejoyce,that God had done
the .Work himfelf ; and that none in Heaven or Earth mi t^bi
pretend to (hare the Honour of it with him ; I could only be
glad, that God's declarative Glory was advanced by the Con-
vcifion of tbefc Seuls, and that it v;as to the Eiilargement of
hit
F.38 mt, 29. ?^tf LIFE
his Kingdom in the World : But faw I was fo poor, that
1 had nothing to oiFcr to kirn. My Soul and Body, thro' Grace,
I ceuld chearfuliy furrcnder to him: But it appeared to me,
this was rather a Cumber, than a Gift : And nothing could I do
to glorify his dear and blefled Name. Yet I was glad at Heart,
that he was unchangeably poflefled of Glory and Bleflednefs.
Oh that he might be adored and praifed by all his intelligent
Creatures, to the utmoft of their Powers and Capacities. My
Sc>ul would have rejoyced to fee others praifc him, tho* I could
do nothing towards it my felf.
[ The next Day, he fpeaks of his belBg fubjefl to fome De-
gree of Melancholy ; but of being fomething relieved in the
Evening.
Friday, June 6. See the publick Journah ]
Saturday, yune 7. Rode to Freeholtiy to aflift Mr, Ten-
nent in the Adminiftration of the Lord's Supper. In the Af-
ternoon, preaeh'd from Pf^tl, Ixxiii. 28. God gave me fome
Freedom and Warmth in my Difcourfe ; and 1 truft, his Pre-
fcnce was in the AfTembly. Was comfortably compofed, and
enjoyed a thankful Frame of Spirit ; and my Soul was grieved,
that I could not render fomething toGod for hisBenefiis beftow-
cd. Oh that 1 could be fwallowed up in his Praife !
Lord's Day, yiww^ 8. Spent much Time, in the Morning,
in fecret Duties ; but between Hope and Fear, refpe^^ing ilie
Enjoyment of God in the Bufinefs of th« Day then before bs.
Was agreeably entertained, in theForenoon,by aDifcourfe from
Mr. Tif/iwcw/, and felt fomewhat melted and refrefii'd. In the
Seafon of Communion, enjoyed fome Comfort ; and efpecially
in feiving one of the Tables. BlelTed be the Lord, it was a
*T%ms of Refrefning to me, and I truft, to many others. A
Number of my dear People fat down by themfelves at the
lafl Table ; at which Time God feem*d to be in the midft of
ihem, And the Thoughts of what God had done among
them were refrefhing & melting to me. In iheAfternoon,God
enabled me to preach with uncommon Freedom, from 2 Cor,\,
20. Thro' the great Goodnefs of God, I was favoured with a
conftant Flow of pertinent Matter, and properExpreffion?;,from
the Beginning to the End of my Difcourfe. In the Even-
ing, I could not but rejoice in God, and blefs him for the Mani*
filiations of his Ciiace in the Day paft. Oh, it was a fwcet and
lolemn Diy and Evening | A Seafon of Comfoii: cc ihs QoSy-
(?/ iWr. David Braincrd. A.D. 1745. ig^
and of Awakning to fome Souls. Oh that I could praife the
Lord.'
Monday, y«ff^ g.Enjoy'd fomeSweetnels infeGretDutics.— i
Preach'(! the concluding Sermon from Gen, v. 24. And Enoch
waihd wifh God^ &c. God gave me Enlargement and Fer-
vency in my Difcourfe ; fo that I was enabled to fpeak with
Plainnefs and Power ; and God's Prefence feem'd to be in the
AfTembly. Praifed be the Lord, it was a fweet Meeting, a
defitable AiTembly. I found my Strength renewedjand length-
ened out, even to a Wonder ; fo that I felt much ftronger at
the Concliifioii, than in the Beginning of this Sacramental So-
Icninit). I have great Reafon to blefs God for this Solemnify,
^ ' -rdn i hi. t found Affiftance in addreffing others jandSweet-
^.:^in my own Soul.
rOr»Tuerday,he found himfelf fpent, and his Spirits cxhauft-
-rc b, his late Labours ; and on Wednefday, complains of va-
poury Diforders, and Dejedion of Spirit, and of enjoying but
little Comfort or Spirituality. ]
Thurfday, June 12. In the Evening, enjoyed Freedom of
Mind, and fome Sweetnefs in fecret Prayer : It was a deiirabis
Seafon to me ; my Soul was enlarged in Prayer foi my ov;a
dear People, and for the Enlargement of Chrift'sKingdom,and
cfpecially for the Propagation of the Gofpel among the Indians^
back in the Wildernefs. Was refrefh'd in Prayer for dear
Fiiends in New- England, and elfewhere : I found it fweet to
pray at this Time ; and could with all my Heart fay. It is gQod
for me to draw near to God,
Friday, June 13. 1 came away from the Meeting of
the Indians, this Day, rejoycingand bleffing God for his Grace
manifefled at this Seafon.
Saturday, June 14. Rode to KingJIon, to affift the Rev» Mr,
Wales in the Adminiftration of the Lord's Supper. In "the Af-
ternoon, preach'd ; but almoft fainted in the Pulpit : Yet God
ftrengthen'd me when I was juft gone, and enabled me to fpeak
his Word with Freedom, Fervency andApplication to theCou-
fcience. And praifed be theLord ; Out ofweaknefs Iw^.s if.ads
Jirong. I enjoyed fome Sweetnefs, in and after piibIickVv''orOiipi
but was extreamly tired. Oh, how many are the Merc':s of thfc
Lord ! To them that have no Might, heincreafeth Strey^gth,
Lord's- Day, June 15, VVas in a dejected fpiritlefs FramCj
thi'' I could not hold up my Head, nor lock any Body m the
Face*
nj^ Mt, 29. fT/^^LIFE
Face. Adminiftred the Lord's-Supper at Mr. H^ajii*^ Defire:
And found my Celf ina good Meafure unburdenM and relieved
of my preiHng Load, when I came to alk a Bleffing on theEle-
ments : Here God gave me Enlargement, and a tender afFcG-
tionate Senfe of fpiritualThings ; fo that it was aSeafon ofCom-
forf , in fome Meafure, to me, and I truft,more fo to others. In
the Afternoon, preach'd to a vaft Multitude, from Rev. xxii.
17. Jnd whofeever will. Sec, God helped me to offer a Tefti-
mony for himfclf, and to leave Sinners inexcufable in negledting
his Grace. I was enabled to fpcak with fuch Freedom, Fluen-
cy, and Clearnefjj, as commanded the Attention of the Great.
V/as extreamly tired, in the Evening, but enjoyed Compofure
and Sweetnefs.
Monday, June 16. PreacVd again. ; and God helped me
amazingly, fo that this was a fweet refreftiing Seafon to mySouI
an:j others. Oh, forever blefled be God for Help afforded at
this Time, when my Body was fo weak, and while there was
fo large an Aflembly to hear. Spent the Afterjnoon in a com-
fortable agreable Manner.
[ The next Day was fpent comfortably.
On VVednefday, he went to a meeting of Minifters at
HopewelL
Thurfday, Junei(), See his publick JiParw^?/. *
On Friday and Saturday, he was very much amifs ; but yet
preachM to his People on Saturday. His Illnefs continued on
rheSabbaih; but he preach'd, notwithftanding, to his People,
both Parts of the Day : And after the publick Worfhip was
ended, he endeavoured to apply divine Truths to the Cenfcien-
ces of feme, and addrefb'd them perfonally for that End: Se-
veral were iw Tears, and feme appeared much affe£led. But
he was extremely wearied wiih the Services of the Day, and
was fo ill at Night, that he could have no^bodily Reft ; but re-
marks, that Gcd tuns his Support, and that he was not left defii-
iute of CoTTffort in him. On Monday, he continued very 111 ; but
fpcaks of his Mind's being calm and compofed, reiigned to the
diviiK* Dirpcnlations, and content with his feeble State. And
by the Account hcgives ofhimfelf, the remaining Part of this
Week, he continued very feebje,and for the molt Part dcjedlcd
* Trie pii?. lick jQurnaJ that has been fo often refer'd to,
corcludcs Vr'jih ^he Account of ibis Day.
<?/ Mr. David Bramerd. A.D.1746. 191
edinMind,and enjoy'd no great Freedom nor Sweetnefs in
fpiritual Things ; excepting that for fome very (hort Spaces of
Time he had Refrcfliment and Encouragement, which engaged
feis Heart on divine Things ; and fomeiimes his Heart was
melted with fpiritual AiFedtion. J
Lord's- Day, June 29. Preach'd, both Parts of the Day,from
"Job, xiv. 19. Tet a little while ^ and the World feeth me no morty
&c. God was pleafed to aiTift me, to afford me both Freedom
and Power 5 efpecially towards theclofe of ray Difcourfesjboth
Forenoon, and Afternoon. God's Power appear'd in the Af-
fembly, in both Exercifes. Numbers of God's People were
refrefli'd and melted with divine Things ; on© or two comfort-
ed, who had been long under Diftrefs : Convidlions, in divers
Inftances, powerfully revived ; and one Man in Years much
awaken'd, who had not long frequented our Meeting, and ap-
pear'd before as ftupid as a Stock. God amazingly renewed and
Jengthen'd out my Strength. 1 was fo fpent at Noon, that i
could fcarcewalk, and all my Joints trembled ; fo that I could
rot fit, nor fo much as hold my Hand ftill : And yet God
ftrengthned me to preach with Power in the Afternoon ; aliho'
I had given out Word to myPeople, that I did not expe£t to be
able to do it. Spent fome Time afterwards in converfing,
particularly, with feveral Ferfons, abt>ut their fpiritual State ;
and had fome Satisfadtion concerning one or two. Pray 'd af-
terwards with a fick Child, and gave a Word of Exhortation.
Was aflifted in all my Work. Bleffed be God. Returned
home with more Health, than I went out with ; altho my Lin-
nen was wringing wet upon me, from a little after ten in the
Morning, 'till paft five in the Afternoon. My Spirits alfo were
Confiderably refrefh'd ; and my Soul rejoiced in Hope, that I
had through Grace done fomething for God. In thcEvening,
walked out, and enjoyed a fweet Seafcn in fecret Praver and
Praife. But Oh, I found the Truth of the Pfalmift's Words,
My Goodnefi extendeih not to Thee I I could not make sny Re-
turns to God : 1 longed toHve only to Him, and to be in Tune
for his Praife and Service forever. Oh, for Spirituality and
holy Fervency, that I might fpend and be /pent for God, to my
lateft Moment !
Monday, June 30. Spent the Day in writing ; but under
much Weaknefs and Diforder. Felt the Labours of the pre-
ceeding Day ; altho' my Spirits were fo refrefh'd the Evening
before, that I was not not then fenfible of my being fpent.
C c Tuefday,
XQ2 ^/. 29: yi^LIFE
Tuefday, yft/y r» In the Afternoon, vifitcd, and preachM to
my People, from Heb, ix. 27. on Occafion of feme Perfons
lying at tb*? Poiiit of Death, in my Congregation. God gave
nie fomc AiTiftance ; and his Word matie fome Imprelfions on
the Audience, in general. This was an agreable and com-
fortable Evening to my Soul : My Spirits were fomewhat re-
♦reih'd , with a fmall Degree of Freedom and Help enjoyed in
my Work.
[ On Wednefday, he went to Newark^ to a Meeting of the
Prfjhytery : Complains of lownefs of Spirits 5 and greatly la-
ments his fpending his Time fo unfruitfully. The remaining
Part of the Week he fpent there, and at Elijaheth-Town ; and
fpeaks of Comfort and divine Afliftance, from Day to Day :
But yet greatly complains for want of more Spirituality, j
Lord's -Day, July 6. [ At Elifaheih-Town ] Enjoyed fome
Compofure and Serenity of Mind, in the Morning : HeardMr.
Dickinfon preach, in the Forenoon, and was refrefti'd wit^ his
Difcourfe ; was in a melting Frame , fome Part of the Time
of Sermon : Partook of the Lord's-Supper, and enjoyed fomd
t^enfe of divine Things in that Ordinance. In the Afternoon, I
preach'd from E%ek, xxxiii. \i. As 1 live ^ faith the Lord God^
&c. God favoured me with Freedom andFervency 5 and help-
ed me to plead his Caufe, beyond my own Power.
Monday, jfuly 7. My Spirits were confiderably rcfrefh*dund
railed, in the Morning. There is no Comfort, I find, in any
Enjoyment, without enjoying God and bein^ engaged in his
Service. In the Evening, had the moft agreeable Converfation
that ever I remember in all my Life, upon God's being all in
all^ and all Enjovments being juft that torn which God makes
them,, and no more. 'Tisgood to begin and end with God*
Oh, how does a fwect Solemnity lay a Foundation for true
Pleafure and Happinefs I
Tuefday, */2/.V 8. Rode hrme, and enjoyed fome agreeable
Me(?!taticns by the Way.
Wednefday, July 9. Spent the Day in writingjCnjoyedfome
Comfori and Refrefhment of Spirit in my Evening-Retirement.
Thurfday, Ju:y 10. Spent moft of cheDay in writing. To-
wards Night, rode to Mr. Tennent^s ; enjoyed fome agreeable
Converfation : Went home, in the Evening, in afolemn f»vect
Frame of Mind ; wss refrefh'd in fccret DutieS;> longed toiite
wholly and only for God^ and faw plainly, there was ^loihiug ?fi
i?/Mf. D4v!d Braiaerd: A.D. 174^. 193
ihe World worthy of myAfFe£lion ; fo that my Heart was dead
to all below ; yet not thro' Dejedlion as, at fomc Times, but
from Views of a better Inheritance*.
Friday, July 11 » Was in a calm competed Frame, in the
Morning, efpecially in the Seafon of my iecret Retirement : I
thinkjl was wellpleafed with the Will of Gcd, whatever it was,
or fhould be, in all Refpeds I had then any Thought f. Inif nd-
ing toadminifter theLord's-Supper the nextLord'sDay,! lcok*d
to God for his Prefence and Affiftance upon that Occafion ; but
felt a Difpofition to fay, The Will of the Lord be done, v/hethcr
it be to give me Affiftancc, or not. Spent foine little Titp.e ui
writing : Vifited the Indians^ and fpent feme Time in ferious
CoKverfation with them ; thinking it not beft to preach, by
Reafon that many of them were abfent.
Saturday, July 12. This Day was fpent in Fading andPray*
cr by my Congregation, as preparatory to the Sacjapnent, I
difcourfed, both Parts of the Day, from Rom. iv. 25. Who zua.t
delivered for our Offencei^ &c. God gave me fome AfHftance 'wi
my Difcourfes, and fumething of divine Power attended the
Word ; fothat this was an agreeable Seafon. Afterwards led
them to a folemn Renewal of theirCovenant, and frefiiDedica-
tion of ihemfelves to God. This was a Seafon both of Solemni-
ty and Sweetnefs, and God feem*d to be in the midji of m. Re-
turned to my Lodgings, in theEvening, in a comfortableFrame
ii£.Mind.
Lord's-Day, July i'^. In the Forenoon, difcourfed en th^
l^read of Life^ from Joh. vi. 35. God gaveme rorneAfTiiiaiice,
in Part of my Difcourfe efpecially; and there appear'd foinc
tender Affedlion in the Affembly under divine Truths :
my Soul alfo wasfomewhat rcfre(h*d. Adminiftred the Sacra-
ment of the Lord's Supper to thirty-one Perfons of the Indians^
God feem'd to be preient in this Ordinance ; the Communi-
cants were fweetly melted and refreih'd, moft of them. Oh,
how they melted, even when theElementswerefirft uncovered !
There was fcarcely a dry Eye amongft them, when I took ofe"
the Linnen, and fhewed thcna the Symbols of Christ's hrchn
Body* — Having refted a little, after the Adminiltration tf
the Sacrament, I vifitcd the Communicants, and found th?m
generally in a fvveet loving Frame ; not unlike what apoearM
among them on the former SacramentalOccaficn, on J^prii ^-7-
Tn the Afternoon, difcourfed upon coming to Christ, and the
HatisfaSfionok thofe who do fo, from the fame^>/^I indeed on
in the Forenoon. This was likewifean agr^^eable Seafon j 1
C c 2 Seafon
194 ^/. 29- ^^^ I-IFE
Seafon of much Tendernefs, Affeftion and Enlargement in di-
vine Service : And God, I am perfwadedjCrown'd ourAflembly
with his divine Prefence. I returned home much fpent, yet
rejoicing in the Goodnefs of God.
Monday, July 14. Went to my People, and difcourfed to
them (romP/al. cxix 106. 2 have fworn^and 1 will perform it ^Uc»
Cbferved, I. That all God's Judgments or Commandments
Mc righteous, 1. That God's People have /zf^rs io keep them ;
and this they do efpecially at the Lord's Table. There appear'd
to be a powerful divine Influence on the Affembly, and confi-
derable melting under the Word. Afterwards, 1 led them to
a Renewal of then Covenant before God ( that they would
watch over therrifelves and one another, left they fhould fall
into Sin, and diflionour the Name of Chrift ) juft as I did on
M'^nday y^/)r/7 28. This Tranfadion was attended with grdat
Solemnity : And God feem'd to own it by exciting in them a
Fear and Jealoufy of themfelves, left they fhould Sin againft
God ; fo that the Prefence of God feem'd to be amongft us in
this Conclufion of the Sacramental Solemnity.
[ The next Day, he fet out on a Journey towards Philadel"
phia ; from whence he did not return 'till Saturday. He went
this Journey, and fpent the Week, under a gccat Degree of
lllnefy of Body, and Dejection of Mind.]
Lord's- Day, ya>' 20. Preach'd twice to my People, from
jfch. xvii. 24. Father y J will that they alfo whom thou haft given
mcy be ivith me, where 1 am^ that they may behold my Glory^ which
then haft given me. V/as helped to difcourfe with great Clear-
fiefs and Plainr.cfs in the Forenoon. In the Afternoon, enjoy'd
fomeTcndernefs, and fpake with fome Influence. Divers were
in Tears ; and lome, to Appearance, in Dif^refs.
Monday '/f^/y 21. Preach'd to the Indians, chiefly for the
fake of fome Strangers. Then propofed my Defij^n of taking a
Journey fpeeJily {oSufquahannah : ExJiorted my People to pray
for me, that God would be with me in thatjourney, t^c. Then
diofe divers Perfoi^s of the Congregation to travel with me.
Altcrwanls, rpent Tirne in difcourfing to the Strangers^^ud was
foHiewhat encouraged with them. Took Care of my People's
fecular Bufinefs, and was not a little exercifed with it Had
fome Degree of Compofure and Comfort in fecret Retirement.
TuefJay, Ju/y 22. Was in a dejected Frame, moft of the
Day: Wanted to v/ear out Life, and have it at anEnd ; but had
(cmc Deilres of //'i;/>;p'^^ GoD,and wearing out Life for him. Ob
thdi I could indeed do fo !
[Th«
of Mr. David Brainerd. A.D. 1 746, 195
[The nextDay, he went to Elijah eth-T: own ^ to a Meeting of
the Prejbytery ; and fpent this, and Thurfday, and the former
Part of Friday, under a very great Degree of Melancholy, and
exceedingGloominefs of Mind ; not through anyFear of future
Punifhment, but as being diftrelTed with a Scnfelefnefs of all
Good, fo that the whole World appeared empty and gloomy to
him. But, in the latter Part of Friday, he was greatly relieved
and comforted.]
Saturday, ^uly 26. Was comfor.table in the Morning ; my
Countenance and Heart were not fad, as in Days paft ; enjoy'd
fome Sweetnefs in lifting up my Heart toGod. Rode Home to
my People, and was in a comfortable pleafant P'rame by the
Way; my Spirits were much relieved of their Burden, and I
felt free to go through all DifHculties and Labours in my Ma-
fter's Service.
LordVDay, July 27. Difcourfed to my People, in theFore-
noon, from Luke xii. 37. on the Duty and Benefit of watch-
ing : God helped me in the latter Part of my Difcourfe, and
the Power of God appeared in the AfTembly. In the Afternoon,
difcourfed from Luke xiii. 25. Here alfo I enjoyed fome Aflift-
ance, and the Spirit of God feemed to attend what was fpoken,
fo that there was a great Solemnity, and fome Tears among 7«-
dians and others.
Monday, July 28. Was very weak, and fcarce able to per-
form any Bufinefs at all ; but enjoyed Sweetnefs and Comfort in
Prayer, both Morning and Evening ; and was compofcd and
comfortable thro* the Day : My Mind was intenfe, and my
Heart fervent, at leatt in fome Degree, in fecret Duties ; and
I longed {o Jpend and be fpent for God.
Tuefday, July 2g. My Mind was chearful, and free from
thofe melancholy Damps, that I am often excrcifed with : Had
Freedom in looking up to God, at fundry Times in the Day.
In the Evening, I enjoyed a comfortable Se.ifan in fecretPrayer ;
was helped to plead with God for my own dear People, that he
would carry on his own blefledWork among them j wasaHifled
^Ifo in praying for the divinePrefencc to attend me in my intend-
ed Journey to Sujquahannah ; was alfo helped to remember
dear Brethren and Friends in New- England : fcarce knew how
to leave the Throne of Grace, and it grieved me that i was
obliged to go to Bed \ I longed to do fomething for God, but
knew not how. BicfTed be God for this Freedom from De-
jedxion,
Wednefday,
ig6 JEl 29: «« LIFE
Wcdnefday, j^u^y 30. Was uncommonly comfortable,both
in Body and Mind ; in the Forenoon efpecially : My Mind was
folemn, I was aflifted in my Work, and God feem'd to be near
to me ; (o that the Day was as comfortable as moft I have en-
joyed for fome Time. In the Evening, was favoured with
Afliftance in fecret Prayer, and felt much as I did the Evening
before. Blefled be God for that Freedom I then enjoyed at the
Throne of Grace, for my felf, my People and my dear Friends,
// is good for me to draw near to God,
[ He feems to have continued very much in the fame free,
comfortable State of Mind the next Day.]
Friday, Auguft i. In the Evening, enjoyed a fweet Seafon
in fecret Prayer 5 Clouds of Darknefs and perplexing Care
were fweetly fcatter'd, and nothing anxious remained. Ob,
how ferene was my Mind at this Seafon 1 How free from that
diftra£ling Concern I have often felt ! 77;y Willie done^ was a
Petition fweet to my Soul ; and if God had bidden me chufe
for my felf in any Affair ; I fhould have chofen rather to have
refer'd the Choice to him ; for I faw he was infinitely wife,
?nd could not do anyThing amifs, as I was in Danger of doing.
Was afTifted in Prayer, for my dear Flock, that God would pro-
mote his own Work among themj and that God would go with
me in my intended Journey to Sufquahannah ; was helped to
remember dear Friends in New-England^ and my dear Brethren
in the Miniftry. 1 found enough in the fweet Duty of Prayer to
fcave engaged me to continue in it the whole Night, would my
bjdily State have admitted of it. Oh, how fweet it is, to be
enabled heartily to fay, Lord^hot my Will, but thine be done /
Saturday, Jug. 2. Near Night, preach'd (romMattb. xi. 29.
Was ccnfiderably helped ; ai^i the Prefence of God feem'd to
befomewhat remarkably in the Aflembly ; divine Truths made
powerful ImpreiTions, both upon Saints and Sinners. Bleffed
be God for fuch a Revival among us. In the Evening, was
very weary, but found my Spirits fupportcd and refrefli'd.
Lord's- Day, Jug. 3. Difcourfcd to my People, in the Fore-
noon, from Cfilof iii. 4. Obferved, that Chri/i is the Believer's
Life. God helped me, and gave me his Prefence in this Dif-
courfe ; and it was a Seafon of confiderable Power In theAflem-
bly. In the Afternoon, preach'd from Lukexix 41, 42. I en-
joyed fonie Aflifhnce ; tho* not (o much as in the Forenoon.
In the Evening, I enjoyed Freedgm and Sweetnefs in fecret
Prayer j
of Mr\ David Brainerd: A.D. x 746. 197^
Prayer; God enlarged my Heart, freed me from melancholy
Damps, and gave me Satisfa6lion in drawing near to himfelf.
Oh that my Soul could magnify the Lord, for thefe Seafons of
Compofure and Rclignation to his Will.
Monday, Jug» 4, Spent the Day in writing ; enjoyed mach
Freedom and Affiftance in my Work : Was in a compofed and
comfortableFrame,moft of the Day ; and in theEvening enjoy-
ed fome Sweetnefs in Prayer. BlefTed be ^od,mySpirits were
yet up, and I was free from fmkin? Damps ; as I have been ia
general ever fince I came from EUfabeth-l^iun laft. Oh what a
Mercy is this I
Friday, ^«f . 5. Towards Night, preach'd at the Funeral
of one of my Chriftians, from Jfai. Ivii. 2. Was opprefTed with
the nervous Head-Ach, and confiderably dejeded : However,
had a little Freedom, fome Part of the Time I was difcouriing.
Wascxtreamly weary in the Evening; but notwithfianding
enjoyed fome Liberty and Chearfalnefs of Mind in Prayer -, and
found the Dejection that I feared j much removed, and mySpiriu^
confiderably refrefh'd.
[ He continued in a very comfortable chcarful Frame of
Mind the next Day, with his Heart enlarged in the Service of
God.]
Thurfday, Aug. 7. Rode to my HoufejWhere I fpent the lad
Winter, in order to bring fome Things I needed for my Sufqua-
bannab Journey : Was refreih'd to fee that Place, which God fvi
marvelloufly vifited with the Showers of his Grace. Oh how
amazingly.did the Power i/ God pften appear there ! Bk/^ the
Lord, O my Soul^ and forget not all his Benefits,
[ The next Day, he fpeaks of Liberty, Enlargement, and
Sweetnefs of Mind, in Prayer and religious ConverfatiCn.J
Saturday, Aug. 9. In the Afternoon, vifited my People ; (zt
their Affairs in Order, as mach as pofTible, and contrived for
them theManagement of their worldly Bufinefs : Difcourfed tq
them in a folcmn Manner, and concluded with Prayer. Was
compofed, and comfortable in theEvening, and fomewfcat hi-
vent in fecret Prayer : Had fome Senfe and View of the eternal
World,and found a Serenity of Mind. Ob tliat I could magnify
the Lord for any Freedom he affords me in Prayer,.
Lord*s-Day, Au^. 10. Difcourfed to my People, both P^rts
01 the Day, from ASfs iii. 15. In difcourfing o[ ReiKraams, m
thxC
1^8 ^V. 29. y.&^LIFE
the Forenoon,God helped me, fo that roy Difcourfe was fearch-
ing, fome were in Tears, both of the Indians and white People j
and the Word of God was attended with fome Power, In the
Intcrmiffion-Seafon, I was engaged in difcourfing to fome in or-
der to their Eaptifm ; as well as with One who had then lately
met with fome Comfort, after fpiritual Trouble and Diflrefs. la
the Afternoon, was fomewhat affifled again, tho' weak and
weary. Afterwards baptized 6 Perfons ; 3 Adults, and 3 Chil-
dren. Was in a comfortable Frame in the Evening, and en-
joyed fome Satisfa6ti(Wi in fecret Prayer. I fcarce ever in my
Life felt my itM fo full of Tendernefs, as this Day.
Monday, Jug. 1 1. Being about to kt out on a Journey to
Sufquahannah the next Day, with Leave of Providence, I fpent
fome Time this Day in Prayer with my People, thatGod would,
blefs and fucceed my intended Journey, that he would fend forth
his blefTed Spirit with his Word, and fet up his Kingdom among
the poor Indians in the Wildernefs. While I was opening and
applying Part of the cxth & iid/yj/wj,the Power of God kem'd
to defcend on the AfTembly in fome Meafure ; and while I was
making the firft Prayer, Numbers were melted, and I found
fome afFedlionateEnlargementof Soul my felf. Preach'd IxomASfs
iv. 31. God helped me, and my Interpreter alfo : There was a
(baking and melting among us ; and divers, 1 doubt not,were ia
fome Meafure filled with the Holy Gho/i, Afterwards, Mr.
Mc Knight pray'd : I then open'd the two laft Stanza's of the
Ixxiid Pfalm ; at which Time God was prefent with us ; efpe-
cially while I infifted upon theProm.ife of ali Nations blefftng the
great Redeemer : My Soul was refrefh'd, to think, that
this Day, this blefTed glorious Seafon, (hould furely come ; and
I trufl. Numbers of my dear People were alfo refrefh'd. After-
wards pray'd ; had fome Freedom, but was almofl Spent : Th€n
walk'd out, and left my People to carry on religious Exeroifes
among themfelves : They pray'd repeatedly, and fung, while I
refted and refrcfh'd my feif. Afterwards, went to theMeeting;
pray'd with, and difmife'd the AfTembly. BlefTed be God,
this has been a Day of Grace. There were many Tears and
afTec^ionate Sobs among us this Day. In the Evening, my
Soul was refrefh'd in Prayer : Enjoyed Liberty at the Throne
of Grace, in praying for my People and Friends and CheChurch
of God in general. Blefi the Lord^ Omy Soul.
[ The next Day, he fet out on his Journey towards Sufqua*
bannah^ and fix of his Chrifiian Indians with him, whom he had
cbofca
^/MK David Bralnerd. A.D. Ty^G. 199
chofen out of his Congregation,a§ thofe that he judged moft fit
to affift him in the Bufinefs he was going upon. He took his
Way through Philadelphia ; intending tago to Sufquahamafj^
River, fardownalong,whereitis fettled by the white People,
below the Country inhabited by the Indiam ; and fo to travel
up the River to the Indian Habitations : For altho' this was
much further about,yet hereby he avoiacJ the hugeMountains
and hideousWildernefspthat muft be crofs'd m the nearerWay •
which in Time paft he had found to be extreamly difficultand
fatiguing. He rode this Week as far as Char left own y a f^lacc
of thatName about 30 Miles Weft ward of Philadelphia ; where
he arrived on Friday : And in his Way hither, was for the
moft Part in a compofed comfortable State of Mind.]
Saturday, Jug» 16. [At Chat le/? own ] It being a Day kept
by thePcople of the Place where I now was, as preparatory to
the ^Celebration of the Lord's-Supper, I tarried ; heard Mr.
Treat preach ; and then preach'd, my felf. God gave me Tome
good Degree of Freedom, and helped me to difcourfe with
Warmth, and Application to the Confcience* Afterwards,
I was refrcfh'd in Spirit, tho' much tired ; and fpent the Even-
ing agreably5having fomeFreedom inPfayer,a3 well asChriftian
Converfation.
^ LordVDay, Jug, 17. Enjoyed Liberty, Compofure^and Sa*
tisfadion, io the fecret Duties of the Morning : Had myHeart
fomewhat enlarged in Prayer for dearFriends,as well as for my
felf. In the Forenoon, attended Mr, Treat's Preaching, par-
took of the Lord's-Supper, five of my People alfo communi-
cating in this holy Ordinance : I enjoyed feme Enlargement
andOut-going of Soul in thisSeafon. In theAfternoon,preacb'd
from Ezek. xxxiii. 11. Enjoyed not fo much fenfibleAlTiftance
as the Day before ; however, vv-as helped tofome Fervency in
addreffing immortal Souls. Was fomewhat confounded in the
Evening, becaufe I thought I had done little or nothing for
God; yet enjoyed fome Refrefhment of Spirit in Chiiftian
Converfation and Prayer. Spent the Evening, 'till near mid-
night, in religious Exercifes ; and found my bodily Strength,
which was much fpent when I came from the publickWorfhip,
fomething renewed before I went to Bed.
Monday, Jug. 18. Rode on my Way tov/ards Paxicn, upon
Sufquabannah'River. Felt my Spirits fink, towards Night, fo
that I had little Comfort.
D d Tuefday,
aoo yE/. 29. ^Tif^ LIFE
Tuefday, -^«^. 19. Rode forward ftlll ; and at Night lodged
by theSide of Sufquahannah. Was weak and diforder'd, both
this and vhe preceedingDay,and found my Spirit?: confiderably
damp*d, meeting with none that I thought godiy People.
Wednelday, Aug. 20. flaving lain ina cold fweat allNighf,
I coughMmuch bloodv Matter this Morning, and was under
great Diforder of BocW a"'^ ^^^ a ^'ftle ;/le]ancho]y ; but
what gave me ^<^^^ Encouragement, was, I had a fecrei Hope
that I mi^^it fpeedily get a Difmiffion from Eanh and all it's
Toi/s and Sorrows. Rode this Day to one Chambers's^ upon
Sujquahannoh^ and there lodged. Was much affliaed, in the
Evening,wlih an ungodly Crew, drinking, fwearing, k^c. Oh,
what a Hell it would be, to be numbered with the Vngof.ly f
Enjoyed fome agreable Converfation with a Traveller, who
fecm*d to have fome Relilh of true Religion.
Thurfday, Jug. 21. Rode up the River about 15 Miles, and
there lodged, in a Family that appeared quite deftitute of God.
Laboured to difcourfe with the Man about the Life of Religion,
but^ found him very artful in evading fuch Converfation.
OhjWhat a Death It is to fome, to hear of the Things of God i
Was out of my Element , but was not fo dejcded as at fome
Times.
Friday, Jug. 12. Continued my Couifcup the River ; my
People now being with me, who before were parted from me :
Travelled above all the Engli/h Settlements ; at Night, lodged
in the open Woods ; and flept with m.ore Comfort, than while
among an ungodly Company of white People. Enjoyed fome
Liberty in fecret Prayer, this Evening ; and was helped to re-
member dear FrienGs,as well as my dear Fiock,and theChurch
of God in general.
Saturday, Jug. 23. Arrived at the hdian Town, called
Shaumoktng, near Night. Was not fo dejefled as formerly ;
but yet fomewhat exercifed. Felt fomewhat ccmpofed in the
Evtning ; enjoyed fomeFreedom in leaving my JU withGoD :
Thro' the great Gcodnefs of God, I enjoyed fome Liberty of
Mind; was ngt diftrefs'd with a Defpondency, as frequently
heretofore.
Lord's- Day, Jug. 24. Towards Noon, vifited fome of the
Delawaresy and difcourfed with them about Chriftianity. In
the Afternoon, difcourfed to the King,znd others, upon divine
Things ; who feem'd difpofed to hear. Spent moft of the Day
in thefe Exercifes. In the Evening, enjoyed fome Comfort
and Sa^sfaaian y and cfpecially had fome Swectnefs in fecret
Prayer :
ef ilfr, David Brainerd. A.D. 1746. 201
Prayer : This Duty was made fo agreable to me, that I loved
to 7. ilk abroad and repeatedly engage in it. Oh^ how comfor-
table > a liftle Glimpfe of God !
Monciijy. Au^. 25. Spent molt of the Day in writing. Sent
out my Pev^ple that were with me, to talk with the Indiam,zi\d
contr?6t a Friendftiip and Familiarity with them, that I might
have a better Opportunity of treating wi(h them about Chrif-
tianity. SomeGood feem'd to be done by their Vifits this Day,
divftTfi pppear'd wilh'ng to hearken to Chriftianity. My Spirits
werea litUe refre{h*d,this Evening ; and I found fome Liberty
and 5atisfa<5tiQn, in Prayer.
Tuefday, Jug. 26. About Noon,dircourfed to a confidera-
ble Number of Indians : God help*d me, I am perfwaded ; I
was enabled to fpeak v/ith much Plainnefs, and fome Warmth
and Power. The Di/coutie had Imprefiion upon fome, and
made them appear very ferious. I thought, Things now ap-
pear'd as encouraging^as they did at Crojweeks. At the Time
of my firft V^ifit to thofe Indians. I was a little encouraged :
I preiTed Things with all my Might ; and calTd out my Peo-
ple, who were then prefent, to give in their Te/iimony for
God 5 which they did. Towards Night, was reftefli'd ;
felt a Heart to pray for thefetting upofGod*s Kingdom here ;
as well as for my dearCongrcgation below, and my dearPViends
elfewhere.
Wednefday, Jug. 27. There having been a thick Smoak,
in the Houfe where I lodged, all Night before, v/hereby I was
almoft choked, I was this Morning difirefs'd with Pains in my
Head and Neck, and could have no Reft. In ihs Aborning, the
Smoak was ftill the fame ; and a cold eafterly Storm gathering,
I could neither live within Doors nor without, any long Time
together ; I was pierced with the Rawnefs of the Air abroad,
in the Houfe diftrefs'el with the Smoak. I was this Day very
vapoury, and lived in greatDiftrefs,and had not Health enough
to do any Thing to any Purpofe.
Thurfday, Jug, 28. In the Forenoon, was under great
Concern of Mind about my Work. Was vifited by fome who
defired to hear me preach ; difcourfed to 'em, in the After-
nooxij with fome Fervency, and laboured to perfwade 'em to
turn to God, Was full of Concern for the Kingdom of Chrift,
and found fome Enlargement of Soul in Prayer, both in fecret
and in myFamily. Scarcely ever faw moreclearlyjthan thisDay,
that 'tis God's fi^ark to convert Souls, and efpecially poor
Heathsm i Iknew, I could not touch them; I faw, 1 could
D i 2 only
.^,. .9.
Hit?^ Lilt' E
only fpeak to dry Bones^ but could give them no Senfe of what
I faid. My Eyes were up to God for Help : I could fay,
the Work was his j and if done, the Glory would be his,
Friday, Aug* 29. Felt the fame Concern of Mind, as the
Day before. Enjoyed fome Freedom in Prayer, and a Satis-
faction to leave all with God. Travelled to the Delawares,
found few at home : Felt poorly, but was able to fpend fome
Time alone in readingGod'sWord & i n Pr ay er,S: enjoyed fome
Sweetncfs in thefe Exercifes. In the Evening, was ailifted re-
peatedly in Prayer, and found fome Comfort in coming to the
Throne of Grace.
Saturday, yf^/^-. 30. Spent theForenoon in vifiting aTr^^^r,
that came down the Kwti ftck ; who appeared as ignorant as
any Indian, In the Afternoon, fpent fome Time in Writings
Reading and Prayer.
Lord's* Day, Aug. 31. Spent much TIme,in theMorning,
in fecret Duties : Found a Weight upon my Spirits, and could
not but cry to God with Concern and Engagement of Soul.
Spent fome Time alfo in reading and expounding God's Word
to my dear Family, that was with me, as well as in Singing and
Prayer with them. Afterwards, fpake the Word of God, to
fome few of the Sufquahannah- Indians. In the Afternoon, felt
very weak and feeble^ Near Night, was fomething refrefli'd
in Mind, with fome Views of Things relating to my great
Work. Oh, how heavy is my Work, v/hen Faith can't take
hold of an Aimighty Arwy for the Performance of it ! Many
Times have 1 been ready to fmk in this Cafe. BleiTcd be God,
that I may repair to a full Fountain,
Monday, September i. Set out on ajourney towards a Place
called The great Iflund, about 50 M\\t5^\iHx\K.itomShaumoking^
in the North- weltern Branch of Sufquahannah, Travelled fome
Part of the Way, and at Night lodg'd in the Woods. Was
exceeding feeble, thisDay, and fweat much the Night following,
Tuefday, Sept. 2. Rode forward j but no rafter than my
People went on Foot. Was very weak, on this, as well as the
prccccdingDays : Was fo feeble and iaint,that 1 fear'd it would
kill mc to lie out in the open Air ; And fome of ourCompany
bein^ parted from u$, fo liiat we had now no Ax with us, I'had
no Way but to climb into a young Pine-Tree, and with my
Knife to lop ihc Branches, and lo made a Shelter from theDew.
But the Evening he\ng cloudy and very likety for Rain, I was
ftill under Fc•a^'^ of being extremely expofed : Sweat muoh in
^hc; flight, (0 ih.u rny i.inctt was almoft wringing wet all
Nishf,
of Mr, David Braint^d. A.D.i 74^. 203
Night. I fcarce ever vpas more weak and weary, than this
Evening, when I was able to fit up at all. This was a melan-
choly Situation I was in ; but I endeavoured to quiet ray felf
withConfiderations of the Poflibility of my being in much worfc
Circumftances, amongft Enemies, ^c,
Wednefday, ^ept, 3. Rode to the Delaware-Tovjn ; found
divers drinking and drunken. Difcourfed with fome of the
Indians about Chriftianity ; obferved my Interpreter m^ich en-
gaged and affifted in his Work : Some few Perfons feem'd to
hear with great Earneftnefs and Engagement of Soul. About
Noon, rode to a fmall Town oi Shauwaunoes, about 8 Miles
diftant ; fpent an Hour or two there, and returned to thcDela^
urare-Town, and lodged there. Was fcarce ever more con-
founded with a Senfe of my own Unfruitfulnefs and Unfitnefs
for my Work, than now. Oh, what a dead, heartlefs,barren,
unprofitable Wretch did I now fee my kU to be ! My Spirits
were fo low, and my bodily Strength fo wafted, that I could
do nothing at all. At Length, being much overdone. Jay
down on a Buffalo-Skin ; but fv/eat much, the whole Night.
Thurfday, Sept. 4. Difcourfed with the Indians, in the
Morning, about Chriftianity ; my Interpreter ^ afterv/ards, car-
rying on the Difcourfe, to a confiderable Length : Some few
appeared well-difpofed, and fomewhat affe6ted. Left thisPIace,
and returned towards Shaumoking ; and at Night lodged in the
Place where^I lodged the Monday-Night before : Was in very
uncomfortable Circumftances in the Evening, my People beincr
belated, and not coming to me 'till paft 10 at Night ; {q tha^t
I had no Fire to drefs any Vi6Vuals, or to keep me Warm_, or
keep cfF wild Beafts ; and I was fcarce ever more weak and
worn out in all my Life. However, I lay down and llept be-
fore my People came up, expelling Nothing eife but to fpend
the whole Night alone and without Fire.
Friday, Sept. 5. Was exceeding weak,fo that I could fcarce-
ly ride ; it feem'd fometimes as if I muft fall oiFfrom myHorfe,
and lie in the open Woods : However, got to Shaumoking^
tcwards Night : Felt fomethingofa Spirit of Thankfulncls,
that God had fo far return'd mc : Was refrefh'd, to fee ons
of my Chriftians, whom I left here in my late Excurfion.
Saturday, Sept* 6. Spent the Day in a very weak State 5
Coughing and fpitting Blood, and having little Appetite to any
Food I had with me : Was able to do very little, except
Ciifcouife a while of divine Things to my own People, and to
ibaie few I met with. Had, by this Time, vzry little Life or
Heart
'204 ^t, 29: r^5 L I F E
Heart to fpeak for God, thro' Feeblenefs of Body, and Flatnefa
of Spirits. Was fcarcely ever more alhamed and confound eel
in my (cM^ than now- I was fenfible, that there wereNum-
bers of God's People, who knew I was then out apon a Defign
(or at leaft the Pretence) or doing fomething for God, and in
bis Caufe, among the poor Indians ; and they were ready to
fuppofe, that I was fervent in Spirit : But Oh, the heartlefs
Frame of Mind that I felt, fill'd me with Confufion I Oh
(methought) if God's People knew me, as God knows, they
would not think fo highly of my Zeal and Refolution for
God, as perhaps now they do ! I could not but defire they
(hould fee how heartlefs and irrefolute I was, that they might
be undeceived, and not think 'of me above what they ought to
think. And yet I thought, if they faw the utmoflof myFlat-
nefs and Unfaithfulnefs, the Smallnefs of my Courage andRe-
folution for God, they would be ready to fhut me out of their
Doors, as unworthy of theCompany orFriendfhipof Chriftians.
Lord's- Day, Sept. 'j^ Was much in the fame weak State of
Body, and afflifted Frame of Mind, as in the preceedingDay:
My Soul was grieved, and mourn'd, that I could do nothing
for God. Read and expounded fome Part of God's Word to
my own dear Family, and fpent fome Time in Prayer with
Ihem ; difcourfed alfo a little to i\\Q Pagans : But fpent the
Sabbath with little Comfort.
Monday, Sept, 8. Spent the Forenon among the Indians ;
in the Afternoon, left Shaumoking, and returned down the
River, a few Miles. Had propofed to have tarried a confide-
rable Time longer among the Indians upon Sufquahannah^ but
was hindred from purfuing my Purpofe by the Sicknefs that
prevailed there, the weakly Circumftances of my own PeopFe
that were with me, & efpecially my own extraordinary Weak-
nefs, having been exercifed wir^^ great noilurnal Sweats, and
a coughing up of Blood, in almoft the whole of the Journey ;
and was a great Part of the Time fo feeble and faint, that it
leem'd as tho' I never (hould be able to reach home ; and at
the fameTime very deftitute of thpComforts& evenNeceflarief
ofLife ; at leaft, what was neceflary for one in fo weak aState.
In this Journey [ fometimes was enabled to fpeak the Word of
God WJth fome Power, and divine Truths made fome Impref*
fions on divers that heard me ; fo that feveral, both Men and
Wcmcn, old and young, fcem'd to cleave to us^ and be well
difpofcd towards Chri/fianity ; but others mocked and flouted,
which damp'd thofe who before feem'd friendly, at leaft fome
of
fffMr» David Bramerd. A.D. 174^; 205
of them : Yet God, at 'times, was evidently prefent, affifting
me, my Interpreter, and other dear Friends who were with
me : God gave, rometimes, a goodDegree of Freedom inPray-
er for the ingatnering of Souls there ; and I could not but en-
tertain a itiong Hope, that the Journey, fhould not be wholly
fruiclefs. VVhelher the IfTue of it would be the fetting upChrift's
Kingdom iberey or only the drawing of feme few Perfons down
to my Congregation in New-Jerfey^ or whether they were
now only preparing for fome further Attempts, that might be
made among them, I did not determine : But I was perfwaded,
the Journey would not be loft. Blefled be God, that I had
any Encouragement and Hope.
Tuefday, Sept, p. Rode down the River, near 30 Miles.
Was extreme weak, much fatigued, and wet with a Thunder-
Storm. Difcourfed with fome Warmth and Clofenefs to fome
poor ignorant Souls, on the Life and Power of Religion ; what
were and what were not iht Evidencts oi it. They feem'd
much aftonifh*d, when they faw my Indians afk a BleilingaBd
give Thanks at Dinner ; concluding that a very highEvidence
of Grace in them : But were aftonifhed, when I infifted that
neither that, nofyet fecret Prayer, was any furc Evidence of
Grace. Oh the Ignorance of the World ! How are fome
empty outward Formsy that may all be inurtXy felfijl?, miftaken
for true Religion, infallible Evidences of it ! The Lord pity a
deluded World.
Wednefday, Sept, 10. Rode near twenty Miles homeward.
Was much folicited to preach, but was utterly unable, thro'
bodily Weaknefs. Was extremely overdone with the Heat
and Showers this Day, and coughed up confiderable Blood.
Thurfday, Sept. 11. Rode homeward ; but was very weak,
and fometimes fcarce able to ride. Had a very importunateln-
vitation to preach ataMeeting-Houfel came by, thePeople be-
ing then gathering ; but could not,byReafon of Weaknefs. Was
refigned and compofed under my Weaknefs ; but was much
exercifed with Concern for my Companions in Travel, whom
I had left with much Regret, fome lame, and fome fick.
Friday, iSlf^/. 12. Rode about fifty Miles ; and camejuft at
Night to a Chrifiian Eriemi'sHoufe, about 25 Miles Wef^ward
from Philadelphia. Was courteoufly received, and kindly en-
tertained, and found my feif much refrefa'd in the midft of my
Weaknefs andFatigues.
Saturda^'^
206 Ml 29: Iht LIFE
Saturday, Sept. 13. Was ftill agreably entertained with
Chriftian Friendihip, and allThings neceflary for my weakCir-
cumftances ; In the Afternoon, heard Mr. ^r^at preach 5
and was refrefh'd in Convcrlation with him, in the JEvcning.
LordVDay, ^^/>M4. At the Defire of Mr. Tr^fl/ and the
Pctiple, I preach'd bor/i Parts of the Day ( but fhort ) from
Luk, xiv. 23. God gave me fome Freedom and Warmth in
my Difcourfe ; and 1 truft, helped me in fome Meafure to la-
bour inftngknefs of Heart, Was much tired in the Evening,
but was comforted with the moft tender Treatment 1 ever met
with in my Life. My Mind, thro' the whole of this Day,
was exceeding calm ; and I could afk for nothing in Prayer,
with any Encouragement of Soul^ but that the fFill of God
might he (ione.
Monday, Sept. 15. Spent the whole Day, in Concert with
Mr. Tre(.t, ift JEndeavours to compofe a Difference, fubfifting
between certain Perfons in the Congregation where* we now
were : There feem'd to be a Blefling on our Endeavours. In
theEvening, baptized aChild : Was in a calm compofed Frame,
and enjoyed ( I trufl ) a fpiritual Senfe of di\une Things,while
adminiftring the Ordinance. Afterwards, fpent the Time in
religious Converfation, 'till late in the Night. This was indeed
a pleafant agreable Evening.
Tuefday, Sept. 16. Continued ftill at my Friend's Houfe,
about 25 Miles Weftward o^» Philadelphia, Was very weak,
unable to perform any Bufinefs, and fcarcely able to fit up.
Wednefday, Sept. 17. Rode into Philadelphia, Still very
weak, and my Cough and fpitting of Blood continued. Enjoy-
ed fome agreable Converfation with Friends, but wanted more
Spirituality.
Thurfday, Sept. 18. Went (rom Philadelphia ioMr, Treat's :
W'as agreably entertained on the Road i and was in a fweet
compofed Frame, in the Evening.
Friday, Sept. 19. Rode from Mr. Treat's to Mr. Stockton's
at Prince-Town : Was extrcam weak, but kindly received and
cntertain'd. Spent the Evening with fome Degree of Satis*
Saturday, Sept. '/o. Arrived among my own People, juft at
Night : Fouud 'em praying together : Wentinjand gave them
fome Account of God's Dealmgs with me and my Companions
in ihcjourney ; which feem'd afFe<Sling to them. I then pray'd
with :hem, and thought the divine Prefence was amongft us ;
ilivers weie m;hed into Tca^s, and feem'd to have a Senfe of
Divine
ip/ Mr. David Brainerd: A.D. 1 74S. 207
divtne Things. Being very weak, I was obliged foon to re-
pair to my Lodgings, and felt much worn out, in the Evening.
Thus God has carried me thro* the Fatigues and Perils of ano-
ther Journey to Su/quabannah^2ind returned me again in Safety,
tho* under a great Degree of bodily Indifpofuion. Oh that
my Soul were truly thankful for renewed Inftances of Mercy I
Many Hardfhips andDiftrefles I endured in this Journey : But
the Lor^ fupported me under them all.
Part VIIL
j^fi^er his Return from his laji your my to
Sufquahannah, until his Death.
[iV. ^.TjriTHERTO Mr. Braimrd had kept a ccnftant
Jj^ Diary, giving an Account of what pafs'd from
Day to Day, with very little Interruption :
But henceforward his Diary is very much interrupted by his
Jllnefs ; under which he was often brought fo low, as either
not to be capable of writing, or not well able to bear the Bur-
den of a Care fo confiant, as was requifite, to recollsft, every
Evening, what had palled in the Day, and digefl it, and fet down
an orderly Account of it in Writing. However, his Diary
was not wholly negleded 5 but he took Care, from Time to
Time, to take fome Notice in it of the moft material Things
concerning himfelf and the State of his Mind,.even till within a
few Days of his Death j as the Reader will fee afterwards. * j
Lord's- Day,
Mr. Shepard^ in his SeJe£f Cafes rtfolvidj under the firft
Cafe fays as follows. < * I have lately known one very able,
*' wife, and godly, put upon the Rack, by him that en-
** vyingGod'sPeople's Peace,knows how to change him-
*' felf into zn Angel of Light : For it being his ufualCourfe
*' in the Time of his Health to make aDiary of his hourly
" Life, and finding much Benefit by it, he was in Con-
£ e fcicflce
**
2o8 Mt.i^l ?i^tIFE i
Lord's-Day , ^epu 21. 1 746. I was fo weak I ccmid n6f
preach, nor pretend to ride over to my People in tbeForcnoon.
In the Afternoon, rode out ; fat in my Chair, and difcourfed
tomyPeoplc itoiaRom, xiv. 7,8. I was ftrengthen'd and helped
in my Difcourfe : And there appeared fomething agreablc in
the AfTembly. I returned to my Lodgings extremely tired ;
kut thankful, that I had been enabled to fpeak a Word to my
poor People I had been fo long abfent from. Was able to
fleep very little this Night, thro' Wcarinefs and Pain. Oh,
how bleffed fliould I be, if the little I do were all done with
light Views ! Oh that whether llive^l might //«;* to iheLttrd^Ucm
Saturday, Sept, 27. Spent this Day, as well as the whole
Week paft, under a great Degree of bodily Weaknefs, exer-
cifed with a violent Cough, and a confiderable Fever ; had no
Appetite to any Kind of Food ; and frequently brought up what
I eat, as foon as it was down ; and oftentimes had little Ref(
in my Bed, by Reafon of Pains in my Breaft and Back : Waa
able, however, to ride over to my People, about two Miles,
every Day, and take fome Care of thofe who were then at
Work upon a fmall Houfe for me to refide in amongft thelndi-
ens. * I was fometimes fcarce able to walk, and never able
to fit up the whole Day,thro' the Week. Was calm and com-
pofed, and but little exercifed with melancholy Damps, as in
former Seafons of weaknefs : Whether I fliould ever recover,
or no, feemM very doubtful ; but this was many times a Com-
Ibrt to me,that/.//V ^nd Death did not depend upon my Choice,
I was pleafed, to think, that he who is infinitely wife, had the
«' fciencc prefs'd, by the Power and Dclufion of Satan,.
<« to make and take the fame daily Survey of his Life in
*« theTime of his Sickneft : By Means of which he fpent
«« his enfeebled Spirits, caft on Fuel to fire his Sicknefs.
*« Had not a Friend of his convinced him of his erroneous
< « Confcience mifleading him at thatTime,be had murdct'd
« hisBodyjOutofConfciencetofavehisSoulandtopreferve
*« his Grace. And do you think ihtfe were theMotions of
«' God'sSpirit.which WkQihokLocufls^RevAX, 9, 10. Had
«« Faces like^//«, but had Tails like Scorphns.^nd Stings
«« in their Tails?"
* This was the /ir/r//^ Houfe he built for his Rcfidencca-
mon^ the Indiam. Befidcs that at Kaunaumeek. and that
at the Folks of Delawaigy and another a* Crojweikjung^
he bwilt oiia now at Cranhefry, Determination
(>/ Mf. David Bfaifierd. A.D.i;46. 209
Determination of this Mattel ; and that I had no Trouble, to
confidcr and weighThings upon all-Sides, in order to make the
Choice, whether I would live or die. Thus my Time was
confumed ; I had little Strength to pray, none to write or read,
and fcarce any to meditate : But thro' divineGoodnefs,! could
with great Compofure look Death in the Face, and frequently
with fenfible Joy. Oh, how blefled it is, to be habitually pre*
partd for Death ! The Lord grant, that I may be actually rea-*
dy alfo.
Lord's- Day, Sipt^ 28. Rode to my People ; and tho* under
much Weaknefs, attempted to preach,from 2 Cbr.xiii. 5. Dif-
Gourfed about half an Hour; at which Seafon divine Power
feem'd to attend the Word : But being extreme weak, I was
obliged to defift ; and after a Turn of Faintnefs, with much
Difficulty, rode to my Lodgings; where betaking my h\i to
my Bed, I lay in a burning Fever, and almoft delirious, for
feveral Hours ; 'till towards Morning, my Fever went oiF
with a violent Sweat. I have often been fcverifh, and unable
to rch quietly after Preaching ; but this was the moft fevere
diftreiling Turn, that ever Preaching brought upon me. Yet
I felt perfe<Slly at Keft in my own Mind, becaufe 1 had made
my utmoft Attempts to fpeak for God, and knew I could do
no more.
Tucfday, Sept. 30. Yefterday, and to Day, was in the
fame weak State, or rather weaker than in Days paft ; was
Ccarce able to fit up half the Day. Was in a compofed Frame
of Mind, remarkably free from Dejedion and melancholy
Damps i as God has been pleafed, in great Meafure, to deli-
ver me from thefe unhappy Glooms, in the general Courfe of
my prefsnt weaknefs hitherto, and alfo from a peevifh froward
Spirit : And Oh, how great a Mercy is this ! Oh that I might
always be perfe<31y quiet in Seafons of greateft Weaknefs, a) tho"
Nature (hould fink and fail. Oh that I may always be able
with utmoft Sincerity to fay. Lord, not my IVill^ but thine he.,
done / This, thro' Grace, I can fay at prefent, with Regard to'*
Life or Death ; The Lord do with me aifeemsgood in his Sight ;
that whether I live or die, I may glorify him^ who is worthy to
receive Bkjjing^ and Honour^ and Dominion forever* Jmen.
Saturday, O£foh, 4. Spent the former Part of this Week un-
der a great Degree of Infirmity and Diforder, as I had done
feveral Weeks before : Was able however to ride a little every
Day, altho' unable to fit up half the Day, 'till Thurfday.
Took fome Care daily of fomePcrfons at work upon myHoufe.
E e a |Pn
m.
Iio ^/. 29: fbi LIFE
On Friday, aft*r Noon,found my felf wonderfully revived and
ftrengthen'd ; and having fome Time before given Notice to
my People, and thofe •f 'em at the Forks of Delaware in parti-
cular, that I defigned with Leave of Providence, to adminifter
the Sacrament of the Lord's Supper upon the firft Sabbath in
OSiober^ the Sabbath now approaching, on Friday- Afternoon I
preach'd, preparatory to the Sacrament, from iC^r. xiii. 5.
Finifhing what I had propofed to offer upon the Subject the
Sabbath before. The Sermon was blefs'd of God to the ftirring
up religious AfFc6lion, and a Spirit of Devotion, in the Peo-
ple of God ; and to the greatly afFeding one who had back'
/7/V<^^« from God, which caufed him to judge and condemn
himfelf. I was furprizingly ftrengthned in my Work, while I
was fpeaking : But was obliged immediately after to repair to
Bed, beins now removed into my own Houfe among the /«-
dians ; which gave me fuch fpeedy Relief and Refrefhment,
as I could not well have liv'd without. Spent fome Time on
Frida)'*Night in converfing with my People about divineThings,
as I lay upon my Bed ; and found my Soul refrefh'd, tho' my
Body was weak. This being Saturday, I difcourfed particu-
larly with divers of the Communicants ; and this Afternoon
preach'd from Z^r^. xii. 10. There feem'd to be a tender
Melting, and hearty mourning for Sin, inNumbers in theCon-
gregation. MySoulwasin a comfortable Frame, and I en-
joy'd Freedom andAffiftance in publick Service : Was my felf,
as well as moftof the Congregation, much afFe£led with the
humble ConfefTion, and apparent Broken-heartednefs of the
forementioned Bachfnder ; and could not but rejoyce, that
God had given him inch a Senfe of his Sin and Unworthinefs.
Was extremely tired in the Evening ; but lay on my Bed, and
difcourfed to my People.
Lord*3-Day, O^^ib. 5. Was ftill very weak ; and in the
Morning, confiderably afraid I flnuld not be able to go thro'
- the Work of the Day ; having much to do, both in private and
' publick. Difcourfed before the Adminiflration of the Sacra-
ment, from y^A. i. 29. Behold the Lamb of God^ that iaketh
away the Sin of the IVorld. Where I confidered, I. Jn what Re-
fpcdtsChrilt is called thcLamb of God ; and obferved that he is fa
called, ( I ) From the Purity and Innocency of his Nature. ( * )
From his Meeknefs and Patience under Sufl'erings. ( 3 ) From
his being that Atonement^ which was poiilted out in the Sacrifici
of Lambs, and in particular by ihe pafchal h^mb, II. Confi-
dered bow and in Vhat Senfc he taka away the ^inofikiWorld :
ArA
cf Mr, David Bralnerd, A.D. 1 746. 2 1 1
And obferved, that the Means and Manner, in and by v/hich
he takes avt-ay the Sins of Men, was his giving himfelf for tbem^
doing and fuffering in theirRoom and Stead, ^fff. And he is faid
to take away the Sin of the Worlds not becaufe all the World
(hall aSiually be redeemed from Sin by him, but becaufe, ( i )
He has done and fuftered fufficient to anfwer for the Sins of the
World, and fo to redeem all Mankind ; (^ 2 ) He eBually does
take away the Sins of the eleSf World. And III. Confidered
how we are to behold him, in order to have our Sins taken away.
( I ) Not with our bodily Eyes : Nor ( 2 ) By imagining him
on theCrofs, t^c. But by z fpiritual View of his Glory and
Goodnefs, engaging the Soul to rely on him, ^c. The di-
vinePrefence attended thisDifcourfe ; and theAfTembly was con-
fidcrably melted withdivineTrutbs. After Sermon baptized two
Perfons. Then adminiftred theLord's Supper to near 40 Com-
municants, of the /«i/5«j, bcfides divers dear Chriftians of the
white People. It feem*d to be a Seafon of divine Power and
Grace ; and Numbers feemM to rejoycc in God. Oh, the
fwect Union and Harmony then appearing among the religious
Feople ! My Soul was refrefh'd, and my reli'gious Friends, of
the whitePeople, with me. After the Sacramentjcould fcarcely
get home, tho' it was not more than 20 Rods ; but was fup-
ported and led by my Friends, and laid on my Bed ; where I
lay in Pain 'till fomeTime in the Evening 5 and then was able
to lit up and difcourfc withFriends. Oh, how was thisDay fpent
in Prayers and Praifes among my dearPeople ! One might hear
them, all the Morning, before publick Worfhip, and ia>tl»c
Evening, 'till near Midnight, praying and Tinging^ praifes to
God, in one or other of their Houfes. MySoul was refrefh'd,
tho' my Body was weak.
[ This Week, he went ( in a very low State } in f^joD^ys^
to Elifabeth-Town^ to attend the Meeting of the Synod there :
But was difappointed by it's Removal to New-Tor k. He con-
tinued in a very compofed comfortable Frame of Mind. J
Saturday, Oi?tf/^. 11, Towards Night was feized with an
Ague , which was followed with a hard Fever,and confiderable
Pain : Was treated with great Kindnefs, and was afhamed to
fee fo much Concern about fo unworthy a Creature, as I knew
my felf to be. Was in a comfortable Frame of Mind, wholly
fibmiflive, with Regard to Life or Death. It was indeed a
peculiar Satisfaction to me,to lfeink,that it was not w>Concern
ox
212 mt, 29: TZ-i? LIFE
or Bufmcfs to fletermine whether I (hould live or die^i I like-
wife felt peculiarly fatisfied, while under this uncommon De-
gree of Diforder ; beiog now fully convinced of my being really
weak, and unable to perform ray Work ; whereas at other
Times my Mind was perplex'd with Fears, that I was a Mif-
improvcr of Time, by conceiting I was fick, when I was not
in Reality fo. Oh, how precious is Time t And how guilty it
makes me feel, when I think I have trifled away and mifim-
proved it, or ncgle6led to fill up each Part of it with Duty, to
t\it utmoft of my Ability and Capacity !
LordVDay, Of/^*. 12. Was fcarce able to fit up, in the
Forenoon ; In the Afternoon, attended publick Worfhip, and
was in a compofed and comfortable Frame.
LordVDay, Octoh, 19. Was fcarcely able to do any Thing
at all in the Week pafl, except that on Thurfday I rode out
about four Miles 3 at which Time I took Cold. As I was able
to dolittieor nothing, fo I enjoyed not much Spirituality, or
lively religious AiFedlion ; tho' at fome Times I longed much
to be more fruitful and full of heavenly AfFedtion 5 and was
grieved to fee the Hours Aide away, while I could do nothing
for God. Was able, this Day, to attend publick Wor-
fhip. Was compofed and comfortable, willing either to die or
live ; but found it hard to be reconciled to the Tho'tsof living
Ufelefi, Oh that I might never live to be a Burden to C§od*s
Creation ; but that I might be allowed to repair Homt^ when
fnyfojourning Work is done.
[ This Week, he went back to his Indians at Cranberry, to
take fome Care of their fpiritual and temporal Concerns : And
was much fpent with riding ; tho* he rode but a little Way" in
a Day. ]
Thurfday, Octob. 23. Went to my own Houfc, and fct
Things in Order. Was very weak, and fomewhat melan-
choly : Laboured to do fomething, but had no Strength 5 and
was forced to He down on my Bed, ve^ry folitary.
Friday, Octob. 24. Spent the Day in overfeeihg and dire£t-
ingmy People, about mending their Fence, and fecuring their
Wheat. Found, that all their Concerns of a fecular Nature
depended upon me.. — — --- Was fomewhat refrefh'd in the
Evening, having been able to do fomething valuable in the
Day-7 line. Oh, how it paips me, t6 fee Time pafs away,
wl^iiaFf^^i) ^0 nothing to a»y Purpofe !
Saturday,
'^fMr. David BVainerd:* A.D. 1746,' 215.
Saturday, Octoh. 25. Vifited fome of my People ; fpent
foincTime in writing,and felt much better inBody,than ufual :
When it was near Night, I it\i fo well, that I had Tho'ts
of expounding : But in theEvcning was much difordered again,
and fpent the Night in Coughing, and fjpitting of Blood.
LordVDay, Ocioh» 26. In the Morning, was exceeding
weak : Spent the Day, 'till near Night,in Pain to fee my poor
People, wandring as Sheep not having a Shepherdy waiting and
hoping to fee me able to preach to them before Night : It
couJd not but diftrefs me, to fee *em in this Cafe, and to find
my felf unable to attempt any Thing for their fpiritual Benefit.
But towardsNight, finding my felf a little bett«r, I calPd them
together to my Houfe, and fat down and read and expounded
Matth. V. I, "^ -^ 16. ThisDifcourfe, tho' delivered in much
Weaknefs, was attended with Power to many of the Hearers j
cfpecially what was fpoken upon the laftof thofeVerfes ; where
I infifted on the infinite Wrong done to Religion, by having
our Light become Darhefs, inftead o^ /Inning before Men. As
many in the Congregation were now deeply afFe(Sled with 2
Senfe of their Deficiency, in Regard of a fpiritual Converfati-
on, that might recommend Religion to others, and as a Spirit
of Concern and Watchfulnefs feem'd to be excited in them ;
fo there was one, in particular, that had fallen into the Sin of
Drunkennefs, fome Time before, who was now deeply con-
vinced of his Sin, and the great Dilhonour done to Religion
by his Mifconded, and difcovered a great Degree of Grief and
Concern on that Account. My Soul was refrcfh'd, to fee
this. And the* I had no Strength to fpeak (o much as I would
have done, but was obliged to lie dov/n on the Bed : Yet I re-
joyced to fee fuchan humbleMeltfng in theCongregation ; and
that divine Truths, tho' faintly delivered^, were attended with
fo much Efficacy upon the Auditory.
Monday, Octob, 27. Spent the Day in overfceing and
direfting the IndianSy about msnding the Fence round their
Wheat : Was able to walk with them, and contrive their Bu-
finefs, all the Forenoon, in the Afternoon, was vifited by two
dear Friends, and fpent fomeTime \a Converfntion with them ;
towardsNight, was able to walkout, and take Care of the
Indians again. In the Evening, enjoyed a \Giy peacefi:] Frame.
Tuefday, Ociob. 28. Rode to Prince-Town^ in a very ^eak
Sta^e : Had fuch a vicleniFever,by the Way, that I was ^oxQz^i
to alight at a Friend's Houfe i^f nd lie down {^^ fomc Twe.
NearN'ghtjWas vifice^ byMr. fn^/, fvlr.^^^/jj^^nd his Wife,
** and
114 JEt.z^: Ti/fLIFE
and another Friend : My Spirits were refrefh'd, to fee them 5
but I was furprized, and even afhamed, that they had taken fo
niuchPains as to ride3o or 4oMiles to fee me ! Was able to fit
up moft oi the Evening ; and fpent the Time in a very com*
forrable Manner with my Friends.
Wednefday, Octob. 29. Rode about 10 Miles, with my
Friends that came Yefterday to fee me ; and then parted with
them, all but one, who ftay'd on Purpofe to keep me Compa-
ny, and cheer my Spirits. Was extreme weak, and very
fcvcrifh, efpecially towards Night ; but enjoyed Comfort and
Satisfadlion.
Thurfday, OSiob, 30. Rode 3 or 4 MiIes,to vifit l/ix,WaUi :
Spent fomeTime,in an agreabJeMannerjin Converfation ; and
tho' extreme weak, enjoyed a comfortable compofcd Frame of
Mind. .
Friday, Of /<?^. 31. Spent the Day amongFriendSjin a com-
fortable Frame ot Mind, tho' exceeding weak, and under a
confiderable Fever.
Saturday, November i. Took Leave of Friends, after
having fpent the Forenoon with them, and returned Home to
my own Houfe. Was much difordered in the Evening, and
opprefs'd with my Cough % which has now been conftant for a
long Time, with a bard Fain in my Breaft, and Fever.
Lord'; -Day, Ncv. 2. Was unable to preach, and fcarcely
able to fit up, the whole Day. Was grieved, and almoft funk,
to fee my poor People deftitute of the Means of Grace ; efpe-
cially confidejiDg they could not read, and fo were under great
Difadvantages for fpending theSabbath comfortably. Oh,me-
thought, I could be contented to be fick, if my poor Flock had
a faithful Paftor to feed them with fpiritual Knowledge! A
View of their Want of this was more afflidiive to me, than all
my bodily Illncfs,
Monday, h'ov. 3. Being now in fo weak and low a State,
that 1 v/as utterly uncapable of performing my Work, and hav-
ing little Hope of Recovery^ unlefs by much Riding, I thought
it myDuty to take a lengthy Journey intoNsw-Eng/and^and to
divert my fcU among myFriends,whom 1 had not now feen for a
long Time. Aid accordingly took Leave of my Congregation
this Day. Before I left my People, I vifited them all in
their rcfpc(5iivcHcufes,r.nd difcourfed to each one, as I thought
jBoli pic per i;iid fuitsble for their Circumftances, and found
jKt^ Freedom and Aii^flancein fo doing : I fcarcely left one
I :> ''. but 1( me were inTcarsj and many were not only aiFe6ted
with
cf Mr. David Bralncra.' A.D. 1746. 2 1 .•
with my being about to leave them, but with the folemn M-
drejfss I made them upon divine Things ; for I was helped to
be (ervent in Spirit, while I difcourfed to them. When I had
thus gone through my Congregation ( which took me moft oi
theDay ) and had taken leave of them, and of the School, I left
Home, and rode about two Miles, to the Houfe where I lived
in the Summer paft, and there lodg'd. Was refrefh'd, this
Eveningjin that I had left myCongregation fo well difpofcdand
afFecSte^, and that I had been fo much aflifted in making mv
Farewel-AddrefTcs to them.
Tuefday, Nov, 4. Rode to Woodhridgef and lodg'd with
Mr. Pierfon ; continuing ftill in a very weak State.
Wednefday, TSlov, 5. Rode to Elifahsth-Town ; intending^,
as foon as poffible,to profecute myjourney intoNew-Englami .
But was, in anHouror two after myArrivaljtakenmuch worie.
After this, for near a Week, was confined to my Chamber,
and moft of the Time to my Bed : And then fo far revived a^
to be able to walk about the Houfe ; but was ftill conSnci
within Doors.
In the Beginning of this extraordinary Turn of Diforder, after
my coming to Elifabeth'Town^ I was enabled thro' Mercy to
maintain a calm compofed and patient Spirit, as I had beeu
before from the Beginning of my Wcaknefs. After I had been
in EUfabeth-Town about a Fortnight, and had fo far recovered
that I was able to walk about Houfe, upon a Day of Thankf-
giving kept in this Place, I was enabled to recall and recount
over the Mercies of God, in fuch a Manner as greatly afl'ettcv;
me, and fill'd me ( I think ) with Thankfulnefs and Fraifc (a
God : Efpecially my Soul praisM him for his Work of Grsce
among the i«^/^«;, and the Enlargement of his dearKing-iom :
My Soul blefs'dGod for what he is in himfelf, and adored him,
that he ever would difplay himfelf to Creatures : I rejoyced.,
that he was God, and longed that all (hould know h, and feel
it, and rejoyce in it. Lord, glorify thy [elf, was the Defire and
Cry of my Soul. Oh that alt People might Icve and praifc the
blefTed God : That he might have all poffible Honour and
Glory from the intelligent World. *
After thiscomfortableThankfgiving-Seafon, I frequently en*
joyed Freedom and Enlargement and Engagednefs of Soul in
About this Time he wrote the yth Leiiet^ pMidic: :.
the End of this Account of his Lire.
F f Prayer,
^i6 'y^. if9. ^he LIFE
Prayer, and was enabled to intercede with God for my ccar
Congregation, very often for every Family, and every Perfon,
in particular ', and it was often a great Comfort to me, that I
could pray heartily to God for thofejto whom I could not fpeak,
and whom I was not allowed to fee. But at other Times, my
Spirits were fo flat and Jow, and my bodily Vigour fo much
y/afted, that I had fcarce any Affections at all.
In December^ I had revived fo far as to be able to walk abroad,
and vifit Friends, and feem'd to be on the gaining Hand with
Regard tomyHealth, inthe main,until Lord's-Day Decemb.^i.
At which Time I went to the piblick Worfhip ; ind it being
S»crament-Day, I laboured much, at the Lord's-Table, to
bring forth a certain Corruption, and have xijlain^ as being an
Emmy to God and my own Soul ; and could not but hope,that
I had gained feme Strength againft this, as well as other Corrup-
tions ; and felt fome Brokennefs of Heart for my Sin.
After this, having perhaps taken fome Cold, I began to de-
cline as to bodiiy Health ; and continued todofo, 'till the latter
End of January^ 1746,7. And having a violent Cough, a con-
fiderable Fever, and ailhmatick Diforder, and no Appetite for
?.ny Manner of Food, nor any Power of-Digeftion, I was re-
duced lo ib low a State, that my Friends ( I believe ) generally
<3efpaired of my Life ; and fome of them, for fome Time toge-
therjthought 1 could fcarce liveaDay to an End. In this Time,
I could think of nothing with any Application of Mind, and
fcemed to be in a great Meafure void of all AfFedien, and was
exercifed with greatTemptaiions s but yet was not, ordinarily,
afraid of Death.
On Lcrd's-Day, Feb. i. Tho' in a very weak and lowStafe,
I c.7joyed a confiderable deal of Comfort and Sweetnefs in divine
rlTangs -% and was enabled to plead and ufe Arguments with
God in Prayer, I think, with a Child- like Spirit. That Paflage
i^f Scripture occur 'd to laiy Mind, and gave me greatAfiiilancc,
J'fye, being Evil, hiow how to give gocdGi/tiia yrur CkiBreriy
hiiu niuch more will your heavenly Father give the holy Spirit to
thmthMtcfi him ? This Text I was hclp'd to plead, trd \tS\^
«;^cn ; and faw the divineFaiihfulnefs engaged for dealing with
J5ne better than any eartkly Parent can do with his Child. This
Seafon io reirelh*d my Soul, that my Body fcem'd alfo to be a
U;;iner by it. And from thisTime, I began gradually to amend.
Aivl as I recovered fome Strength, Vigour and Spirit, ! found
at Tinit3 feme Freedom and Life in the P^xercifcs of E)cvottda,
3ni feme f.cni.iiia after Spiiituajity and a Life of Ufcfuiii^tf* t«
tbu
cf Mr, David Brainerd. A.D. 1747; 217
the Interefis of the great Redeemer : Altho' at other Times, I
was av/fu lly barren and lifelefs, and out of Frame for the
Things of God j fothat I was ready often to cry out. Oh that
it wen with me as in Months faji I Oh that God had taken me
away in the midft of my Ufefulnefs, with a fudden ftroke, that
I might not have been under a neceffity of trifling awayTime ia
Diverfions ! Oh that I had never lived to fpend fo much pre-
cious Time, in fo poor a Manner, and to fo little Purpofs !
Thus I often reflected, was grieved, afhamed £nd even coi:-
founied, funk and difcouraged.
On Tuefday, Feb, 24. I was able to ride as far as NeiViiri^.^
(having been confined within EUfaheth-Town almoft four
Months) and the next Day returned to Elifabetb-Town. My
Spirits were fomewhat refrefh'd with the Ride, tho' my Body
was weary.
Oa Saturday, Fti, 28. Was vifited by an Indian of my
own Congregation ; who brought me Letters, and goodNe;vs
of the fober and good Behaviour of my People, in general :
This refrefh'd my Soul ; I could not but foon retire, and bid's
God for his Goodnefs 5 «nd found, I truft, a truly thankful
Frame of Spirit, that God feem*d to be building up that Con-
gregation for himfelf.
On Wednefday» March 4. I met with Reproof from a
Friend, which, aitho' I thought I did not defcrve it from him,
yet was ( I truft ) blefs*d of God to make me more tenderly
afraid of Sin, more jealous over my feJf, and more concerReJ
to keep both Heart and Life pure ind un-blameable : Itlikev/ife
caufed me torcfle<5t on my paft Deadnefs, and want c:,^ Spiritu-
ality, and to abhor my felf, and look on my felf mo(t unworthy.
This Frame of Mind continued the next Day ^ and for feveraJ
Days after, f grieved, to think, that in my neteiTaryDiverficns
I had not maintained more Serioufnefs, SolefftuJty, heavenly
AfFeilion and Converfation. And thus my Spirits were often
deprefs'd and funk, and yet, I trufl, that Reproof was made to
be beneficial to me.
Wednefday, March ir. Being kept in Elifaheth-Town as a
Day of Fafllng and Prayer, I was able to attend publick Wor-
fhip ; which was the firftTime I was able fo to do afterJO^t:. 21..
Oh, how much Weaknefs and Diftrefs did God carry me thic'
in this Space of Time ! But having obtained Help from himy 1
ycf live : Oh that I could live more to his Glory.
LordVDay, March 15. Was able again to attend the
pnblick Wgrfbip, and felt fome carneft Defires of being re-
F f 2 (tor€«l
2i8 Mt. 29: ^^^ LIFE
ftored to the MInifterial Work : Felt, I think, feme Spirit
and Life, to fpeak for God.
VVednefday, March 18. Rode out with a Defign to vifit my
People: And the next Day arrived among them : Was under
great Dejection in my Journey.
On Friday- Morning, I rofe early, walk'd about among my
People, and inquired into their State and Concerns ; and found
sn additional Weight and Burden on my Spirits, upon hearing
fome Things difagreeable. I endeavour'd to go to God with
my Diftrell'es, and made fome kind of lamentable Complaint ;
and in a broken Manner fpread my Difficulties before God ;
but notwithftanding, my Mind continued very gloomy. About
tea o'clock, I call'd my People together, and after having ex-
plained and fung a Pfalm, I pray'd with them: There was a
confiderable deal of AfFedion among them ; 1 doubt not, ia
fome Inftances, that which was more than mecrly natural.
[ This was the lafl Interview^ that he ever had with his
People. About II o'clock the fame Day, he "left 'em ; and
X\iz riext Day, came to Elifabeth-Town ; his Melancholy re-
maining ftlil : And he continued for a confiderable Time under
a great Degree of Dejedion thro' vapoury Diford^rs. ]
Saturday, March 28. Was taken this Morning with violent
5?riping Pains. Thefe Pains were extreme, and conftant, for
feveral Hours ; (o that it feem'd impoffible for itie, without
a Miracle, to live 24 Hours in fuch Diflrefs. I lay confined
to my Bed, the whole Day, and in diltreffing Pain, all the
^former P;irt of it : But it plea fed God to blefs Means for the
abatement or ./.y Diftrefs. Was exceedingly weakened by this
Pain, and continued fo for fevcral Days follov/ing ; beir.gex-
ercifed with n'l%*ver, Cough, and no*.^-iurnal Sweats. In this
liirieirvid Cafe, fo long as my llcdd was free of vapoury Con-
jufions, Diaib appeared agreeable tc me ; I look'don it as the
>£:jd of Trails, and an Entrance into a Place whenjhe weary
iinairel} ; and, 1 think, 1 bad fome Rdifli of the Entertain-
fuents of the heavenly State ; fo that by thefe I was allured and
c'viv.'n.ai vk'ell as driven by theFatigues of Life. Oh, how happy
■I ic, u:» be drawn by Defires of a State of perfect Holinefs ?
S;;turdav, April :^.i Was funk and dejected, very reftlels ar.-i.
unea.) , Ly Reafon of the Mifimprovement of Tiinef ard ye;
ot, whit to do : I longed to fpend Time in Fading an.
thai I n-:ig!;t i»c ddivered frciii Fr-JolvnCv nri^J Co.'t-"
(?/ Mr. David Brainerd: A.D, 1747. 2i<)
in the Things of God ; but alas, I had not bodiJy Strength
for thefe Exercifes ! Ob, how blefled a Thing is it, to enjoy
Peace of Confcience ? But how dreadful is a Want of inward
Peace and Compofure of Soul ! 'Tis impoflible, T find, to en-
joy this Happinefs without redeeming Time, and maintaining a
fpiritual Frame of Mind,
Lord's-Day, April ^. It grieved me, to find my fdf {q in-
conceivably barren. My Soul thirfted for Grace : But alas^
how far was I from obtaining what I faw fo exceeding excellent!
1 was ready to defpair of ever being a holy Creature ; and yet
my Soul wasdefirousof/o/^it//^^ hard after GoTt^ but never
did I fee my felf fo far from having apprehended^ or being already
^^r/<f^, as at this Time. The Lord's Supper being this Day
adminiftred, I attended the Ordinance : And tho' I faw in my
felf a dreadful Emptinefs, and want of Grace, and faw my feif
as it were at an infinite Diltance from that Purity, which is
becoming the Gofpel ; yet in the Seafon of Communion, efpe-
clally in the Time of the Diflribution of the Bread, I enjoyed
fome Warmth of Affedion, and felt a tender Love to the Bre*
ihren ; and, I think, to the glorious Redeemer, the Firji-hom
among them. I endeavoured then to bring forth mine and y?>/j
Enemies^ and flay them before him ; and found great Freedom in
begging Deliverance from this fpiritual Death, as well as in
allcing divine Favours for my Friends, and Congregation, and
the Church of Chrift in general.
Tuefday, April "j. In the Afternoon, toie to Newark ^ in
order to marry {he Rev. Mr. Dickinfon f ; and in theEvening,
performed that Work. Afterwards, rode home to EUfaheth-
'Towny in a pleafant Frame, full of Compofure and Sweetnefs.
The late learned and very excellent Mr. Jonathan
DiCKiNscfN, Paftor of a Church in EIifabeth-Towny?rc-
fident of the College of New-Jer/eyy and one of theCorref-
pondents of the honourable Society in Scotland for propa-
gating Chriftian Knowledge : Who had a great Eftecm
for Mr. Brainerdy and had kindly entertained him in his
Houfe during his Sicknefs in the Winter pafl 5 and who^
after a (hort Illnefs, died in the next cnfuing OMer^ tv/o
Days after Mr. Brmsrd,
Thui-fd^y^
2 20 mt. 29: "The LIFE
Thurfday, Jprtl 9. Attended the Ordination of Mx.Tuchr^
and afterwards the Examination of Mr. Smith : Was in a com-
fortable Frame of Mind this Day, and felt my Heart, 1 think,
fometimcs in a fpiritual Frame.
Friday, April 10. Spent the Forenoon in Prejbyierial Bufi-
refs : In the Afternoon, rode to Elifabeth-Town 5 found my
Brother John there ; % Spent fome Time in Converfation with
him ; but was extreme Weak and out-done, my Spirits confi-
derably funk, and my Mind dejeded.
Monday, ^/>r;7 13. Affifted in examining my Src/^^r. In
the Evening, was in a folemn devout Frame ; but was much
overdone and opprefs'd with a violent Head-ach.
Tuefday, April 14. Was able to do little or nothing : Spent
fome Time with Mr. Byram and other Friends. This Day
my Brother went to my People.
Wednefday, April 15. Found fome Freedom at theThrone
of Grace, feveral Times this Day. In the Afternoon, was very
weak, and (pent the Time to very little Purpofe ; and yet in
the Evening, had ( I thought ) fome religious Warmth and fpi-
ritual Defues in Prayer : MySoul feem'dto go forth afterGod,
and take Complacence m bis divine Perfections. But alas,
afterwards awfully letdown my Watch, and grew carelefs and
fecure.
Thurfday, April 16. Was in bitter Anguifh of Soul, in the
Morning, fuch as I have fcarce ever felt, with a Senfe of Sin
and Guilt. I continued in Dif^refs the whole Day, attempting
to
* A worthy pious young Gentleman ; who lived in theMi-
niftry but a very fhortTime: He died 2it S tret field in
Connecticut yXhtDecember following hisOrdination ; being a
little v.'hile after Mr. Brainerd's Dcd^ih 2ii Northampton*
He was taken ill on a Journey, returning from a Vifu to his
Ffiends at Milton ( in the Majfachufetti ) which, as I take
it, was bis native ?hQe,?Liid Harvard- Collf^e the Place of his
Education,.
J This Brother of hi^had been fent for by ihcCorrefpondents^
to take Care of,and inflrudl Mr. Brainerd's Congregation
of Jndiam , he being obliged by his lllnefs to be abfent
from them. And he continued to take Care of ihem 'till
♦><^^ yir. Brainerd's Death : and fmce his Death, has been or-
V tlained his Succejfor in his MifTion, and to thcChargc of his
Congregation ; which c:)ntinues much to Paurilh undei'
his paftoral C«iie.
r/ Mr. David Brainerd. A.ai747; 221
to pray where-evcr I went ; Sc indeed could not help (0 doing :
but look'd upon my felf lb vile, 1 dared not look any Body in the
Face ; and was even grieved, that any Body fliould fliew me
a'ny Refpedl:, or at leaft, that they fliould be fo deceived as to
think I deferved it.
Friday, Jpril 17. In the Evening, could not but think^that
God helped me to araw near to the Throne of Grace ^ tho' moft
unworthy, and gave me a Senfe of his Favour ; which gave me
inexprefiibleSupport andEncouragement ; tho' I fcarc^ily dared
to hope the Mercy was real, it appear'd io great : Ytr could
not but rejoyce, that ever God fhould difcover his reconciled
;^?^jjFace to fuch a vile Sinner. Shame and Confufion, at Timetv^
tover'd me ; and then Hope and Joy and Admiration of divine
Gobdnefs gain'd the Afcendant. Sometimes I could not but
admire the divine Goodnefs, that the Lord had not let me fall
intoall the grofleft vileft A6I3 of Sin and open Scandal, that
could be thought of ; and it\X. my felf {0 neccllitated to praife
God, that this was ready for a little while to fwallow up my
Shame andPreflure of Spirit on Account of my Sins.
[ After this, hisDeje£lion and PrefTure of Spirit returned %
and he remained under it the two next Days. J
Monday, April 20. "Was in a very difordered State, and kept
my Bed moft of the Day. I enjoyed a little more Comfort, than
in feveral of the preceeding Daj/s. This Day I arrived at th'j
Age of 29 Years.
Tuefday, Jprilii. I {zi out on my Journey for Neiu-Eng-
Jcndy in order (if it might be the Will of God ) to recover
my Health by riding : Travelled to NewTcrk^ and there
lodged.
[ This proved his final Departure from New- J er fey,
He travelled flowly, and arrived among his Friends at Iio/i-
Haddam, about the beginning of Ulay. There is very little Ac-
count in his Diary y of the Time that pafsM from hisfetting out
on this Journey to May 10. He fpeaks of his fomctimes hnd-
inghis Heart rejoicing in theglorious Pcrftdlions of God, iind
knping to live to him j but complains of the Unfixcdnefs of
lisTho'ts, and their beinor^afily diverted from divine Subjecii-
■^nJ cries out of his Lcannefs, as teitifying againfi him, in 'Le
i indeti: Manner. And concerning ihofe Dhcrficm he was ch/*
iijcJ to ufe for bio HcaUh, he fays, that hei^^mctimss found he
couM
222 Mt.^0. TX^^LIFE
could ufe Diverfions XVith ftngknefs of Hearty aiming at the
Glory of God ; but that he alfo found there was a Neceflity
of great Care and Watchfulnefs, left he fhould lofe that fpiri-
tual Temper of Mind in his Diverfions, and left they ftiould
degenerate into what was meerly fcliifli, without any fupreme
Aim at the G\oty of God in them. ]
LordVDay, May lo. (At Had-Lime) I could not but
feel fomeMcafure of Gratitude to God at thisTime (wherein I
was much exercifed ) that he had always difpofed me, in myMi-
niftry,to infift on the great Doflrines of Regeneration^ the New*
Creature^ Faith in Chrijl^ progrejjive Sanctification^ fupreme Love
U God, living intirely to the Glory of Gody being not our own, and
the like : God has helped me to fee, in the fureft Manner,
from Time to Time, that thefe, and the likeDo£lrines,neceira-
rily connedled with them, are the only Foundation of Safety and
Salvation for perifhing Sinners ; and that thofe divine Difpofi-
tions, v/hich are confonant hereto, are that Holinefs, without
which no Manjhallfee the Lord : The Exercife of thefeGod-like
Tempers, wherein the Soul a6ls in a kind of Concert with God,
and would be and do every Thing that is pleafing to God ;
This, I faw, would ftand by the Soul in a dying Hour ; For
God muft, I think, deny Himfelf, if he cafts away /;/; own Imager
even the Soul that is one in Defires with himfelf.
LordVDay, May i^j. (At Millington ) Spent the Forenoon
at Home, being unable to attend the pubh'ck Wbrfhip. At this
Time, God gave me fome afFedling Senfe of my own Vile-
uefs, and the exceeding Sinfulnefs of my Heart ; that there
i"eem*d to be Nothing but Sin and Corruption within me. Innu-
merable Evils compafi^dme about ; my want of Spirituality and
holy livmg, my negledof God, and living to my felf -— All the
Abominations of my Heart and Life feem'd to be open to my
View ; and I had nothing to fay, but, God he tnercifulio me
e Sinner* TowardsNoon, I faw,lhatiheGrace of God in
Chrift is infinitely free towards Sinners, and fuch Sinners as I
was ; I alfo faw, that God is the fupream Good, that in his
Prefence is Life ; and 1 began to long to die, that I might
be with h:m, in a ftate of Freedom from all Sin. Oh, how a
fmnli Ghm^jfc of his Excellency refrefh'd my Soul I Oh,hov/
worthy i«;thebleflbd God to be loved, adored, and delighted in,
fer himfelf, for his own divine Excellencies.
Tho' I fcit much Dulnefs, and want of a Spirit of Pi H;C- ,
this VVetlc :' Yet I bad fomc Glimpfcs of the Excellency ct
cf Mr. David Brainerd. A.D. 1 747. 223
divine Things ; and efpecially one Morning, in fecret Medita-
tion and Prayer, the Excellency and Beauty of Holinefs, as a
Likenefs to the glorious God, was fo difcovered tome, that I
began to long earneftly to be in that World where Holinefs
dwells in Perfe6tion : And I feem'd to long for this perfe6t
Holinefsjnot fo much for the fake of my own Happinefs (altho*
I faw clearly that this was the greateft, yea, the only Happinefs
of the Soul ) as that I might pleafe God, live intirely to him,
and glorify him to the utmoft Stretch of my rational Powers
and Capacities.
Lord's-Day, iT^<7y 24. ( At Long- Meadow in Springfield)
Could not but think, as I have often remark'd to others, that
much more of true Religion confifts in deep Humility^ Brokenneft
of Hearty and an aiafing Senfe of Barrennefs and zu ant of Grace
and Holinefiy thaa moft who are called C^r//?/tf»/, imagine ;
efpecially thofe who have been efteemed the Converts of thb
late Day ; many of whom feem to know of no other Religion
but elevated Joys and JffeSiions^ arifing only from fome Flights
of Imagination ^or fome Su^gejiion made to theirMind, of Cbri/i's
being iheir'syGod's loving them^ and the like.
[ On Thurfday, May 28. He came from Long-Meadow to
Northampton ; appearing vaftly better than, by his Account,
he had been in the Winter ; indeed (o well, that he was able to
ride 25 Miles in a Day, and to walk half a Mile ; and appeared
chearful, and free from Melancholy : But yet undoubtedly,
at that Time, in a confirmed, incurable Confumption.
I had had much Opportunity, before this,of particular Infor-
mation concerning him, from many that were well acquainted
with him ; and had my felf once anOpportunity of confidcrable
Converfation and fome Acquaintance with h\rci^2ithJew-Havenf
near four Years before, in the Time of the Commencement when
he offered that Confeflion to the Redtor of the College, that
has been already mentioned in this Hiftory ; I being one he was
pleafed then feveral Times to confult on that Affair : But now
I had Opportunity for a more full Acquaintance with him. I
found him remarkably fociable,pleafant, and entertaining in his
Converfation ; yet folid, favoury, fpiritual, and very profitable ;
appearing meek, modeft, and humble, far from any StifFnefs,
Morofenefs, fuperflitious Deraurcnefs, or affedled Sinp;ularity
in Speech orBehaviour,and feeming to naufeate all fuch Things.
We enjoyed not only the Benefit of his Converfation, but had
the Comfort and Advantage of hearing him pray in thcFamily*
G g (torn
324 ^t, 30. «^ L I F E
from Time to Time. His Manner of praying' was very agre-
able'; moft becoming a Worm of the Duft, and a Difciple of
Chrift, addrelling to an infinitely great and holy God, and Fa-
ther of Mercies ; qot with florid Expreffions, or a ftudy'd Elo-
quence ; net with any intemperate Vehemence, or indecent
Boldncfs ; at the greateft Diftance from any Appearance of
Oftentation, and from every Thing that might look as tho' he
meant to recommend himfelf to thofe that were about him,or fet
himfelf off to their Acceptance ; free too from vainRcpetitions,
without impertinentExcurfionSjOr needlefs multiplying of Words.
Heexprefled himfelf with the ftriaeft Propriety, with Weight,
and Pungency ; and yet what his Lips uttered feem'd to flow
from i\\tfulngf$ ofh'n Hearty as deeply imprefled with a great
and folemn Senfe of our NeceflTities, Unworthinefs, and Depen-
dance, and of God's infinite Greatnefs, Excellency and Sufli-
ciency, rather than meerly from a warm and fruitful Brain,
pouring out good Expreflions. And I know not, that ever I
heard him fo much as a(k a Bleflin^ or return Thanks at Table,
but there was fomething remarkable, to be obferved both in the
Matter and Manner of the Performance. In his Prayers, he
infifled much on the Profperity of Z/fl», the Advancement of
Chrifl'^s Kingdom in the World, and the Flouriftiing and Pro-
pagation of Religion among the Indians^ And he generally
made it one Petition in his Prayer,/^fl/ we might not out-live our
Ufefulnefs,}
Lord's- Day, May 31. [At Northampton^'] I had little inward
Sweetnefs in Religion, moft of the Week paft ; not realifing
and^1)eholding fpiritually thcGlory ofGod^andthe bleJJedRedeemer ;
from whence always arife my Comforts and Joys in Religion, if
I have any at all : And if I can't fo behold the Excellencies and
Perfedtions of God, as to caufe me to rejoyce in him for what
he is in himfelf^ I have no folidFoundation forjoy. To rejoyce,
only becaufe I apprehend I have an IntereflinChriJiy and fhall
be finally faved, is a poor mean Bufinefs indeed.
[ This Week, he confulted Dr. Mather^ at my Houfe, con-
cerning hjs IJlnefa ; who plainly told him, that there were great
Evidences of his being in a confirmed Confumption^ and that
he could give him no Encouragement, that he fhould ever re-
Corer. But it feemed not to occafion the lead Difcompofure
in him, nor to make any Manner of Alteration as to theChear-
futncfs and Serenity of his Mind^ or the Freedom or Plcafant-
riefsofhis Converfation.j
LordVDay,
c/ Afr. David Brainerd; A. D. 1747; 225
Lord'S'Day, June 7. My Attention was greatly engaged,
and my Soul fo drawn forth, this Day, by what I heard of the
exceeding Precioujntfs of the faying Grace of God*s Splrity that it
almoft overcame my Body, in my weak State : I faw, "that true
Grace is exceeding precious indeed 5 that it is very rare 5 and
that there is but a very fmall Degree of it, even where the
Reality of it is to be found j at leaft, I faw this to be my Cafe.
In the preceeding Week, I enjoyed fome comfortable Seafons
of Meditation. One Morning, the Caufe of God appeared
exceeding precious to me : The Redeemer'sKingdom is all that
is valuable in the Earth, and I could not but long for the Pro-
motion of it in the World : I faw alfo, that this Caufe is God's,
that he has an infinitely greater Regard and Concern for it,
than I could poiTibly have ; that if I have any true Love to this
blefled Intereft, it is only a Drop derives^ from that Ocean.
Hence, I wa? ready to lift up my Head with Joy j and ct)nclude,
TVelly ifGod^s Caufe hefo dear and precious to him, he will promote
it. And thus I did as it were reft on God,that furely he would
promote that which was fo agreable to his own will ; tho' the
Time, when, muft ftill be left to his fovereign Fleafure.
[ He was advifed by Phyficians flill to continue Riding, as
what would tend, above any other Means, to prolong his Life.
He was at a Lofs, for fomeTime, which Way to bend hisCourfe
next ; but finally determined to ride from hence to Boflon ; we
having concluded that One of this Family fhould go with him,
and be helpful to him in his weak and low State. ]
Tuefday, June 9. I fet out on a Journey from Northampton
to Bofion : Travelled (lowly, and got fome Acquaintance with
divers Minifters on the Road.
I having now continued to ride for fome confiderable Time
together, felt my felf much better than I bad formerly done ;
and I found, that in Proportion to the Profpeft I had of beini»
wftored to a State of Ufefulnefs, fo Idefired ths Continuance
of Life : But Z)^«/^ appeared inconceivably more defirable to
me, than a ufelefs Life ; yet blefled be God, I found my Heart,
at Times, fully refigned and reconciled to this greateft of Af-
flictions, if God faw fit thus to deal with me.
Friday, June 12. I arrived in Bo/Ion this Day, fome what fa-
tigued with my Journey. Obferved, that there is no Reji, but
in God : Fatigues of Body, and Anxieties of Mind attend us,
both in Town and Country ; no Plaee is exempted.
G g 2 Lord's-Day^
liS JEl 30: 315^ L I F E
Lord's-Day, Junei^. I enjoyed fome Enlargement &Sweet-
nefs in Family-Prayer, as well as in fecrct Exercifes ; Godap-
pcar'J excellent, his Ways full of Pieafure and Peace, and all
I wanted was a Spirit of holy Fervency, to live to him.
Wednefday, yune 17. This, and the two proceeding Days,
I fpent mainly in vifiting the Minifters of the Town, and was
treated with great RefpecS: by them.
On Thurfday,ytt«^ 18. 1 was taken exceeding ill,and bro't to
the Gates of Death, by the breaking of fmallUlcers in my Lungs,
as my Phyfician fappofed. In this extreme weak State I conti-
nued for feveral Weeks, and was frequently reduced fo low, as
to be utterly Specchlefs, and not able To much as to whifper a
Word ; and even after I had fo far revived, as to walk about
Houfe, and to ftep out of Doors, I was exercifed every Day
with a faint Turn, which continued ufually four or. fiveHours;
at which Times, tho' I was not utterly Speechlefs, fo but that
I could fay Yes or No, yet I could not converfe at all, nor fpeak
nne Sentence without making Stops for Breath ; and divers
Times in this Seafon, my Friends gathered round my Bed, to
fee me breathe my laft, which they look'd for every Moment,
as I my felf alfo did.
How I was, the firft Day or two of ifiy Illnefs,withRegard to
the Exercifeof Reafcriy I fcarcely know ; but I believe I was
fomething fhatter'd with tha Violence of the Fever, at Times :
But the third Day of my Illnefs, and conftantly afterwards, for
four or five Weeks together, { enjoyed as much Serenity of
lVlind,and Clearnefsof ThoMght, as perhaps I ever did in my
Life ; and I think, my Mind never penetrated with fo much
Eafe and Freedom into divine Things, as at this Time ; and
I never felt fo capable of demonftrating the Truth of many im-
portant Dc6l. ines of the Gofpel as now. And as I faw clearly
the Truth ct^ thofe great DocSlrines, which are juftly ftiled the
DOCTRINES of GRACE ; fo I faw with no lefs Clearnefs,
that the Ejfence di Religion coniifted in the SouPs Conformity to
God, and ading above all felfifli Views, for his Glory ^ longing
to be for him, to W^o. to him, and pleafe and honour him in all
Things ; and this from a clear View of his infinite Excellency
andWorthinefsi'^ hinjelf, to be loved, adored, worfhipped,and
ferved by all infel'igcnt Creatures. Thus I faw,that when a Soul
loveiGod with a fuprcme Love, he therein adts like the blelled
God himfctlf, who mod juflly loves himfelf in that Manner :
So when God's Intcrefi: and his arc become one, and he longs
h?,t God Ihoald be ^/cr/y?^^; aqi rejoyccs to think that he is
' ^achangs7ib!y
<?/ Mr. David Brainerd. A.D.1747. 227
unchangeably pofTefs'd of the hig;hcft Glory and BlefTednefs,
herein alfo he a6ls InConformity toGodiln likeManner,when ihe
Soul is fully refigned tOy and refts fatisfied and contented with the
divine Will, here it is alfo conformed to God.
I faw further, that as this divine Temper, whereby the Soul
jcxalts God, and treads Self in theDuft, is wrought in the Soul
by God's difcovering his own glorious Perfedions in ihe Faci
tf Jefus Chrifi to it, by the fpecial Influences of the holy Spirit,
fo he cannot but have Regard to it, as his own Work ; and as
it is his Image in the Soul, he cannot but take Delight in it.
Then I faw again, that if God (hould flight and rejedl his own
moral Image, he muft needs deny him/elf; which he cannot do.
And thus I faw the Stability and Infallibility of this Religionjand
that thofe who are truly pofTefs'd of it, have the moft compleat
and fatisfying Evidence of their being interefted in all the Be-
nefits of Chrift's Redemption, having their Hezvts conformed to
him ; and that thefe and thefconly are qualified for the Employ-
ments andEntertainments of God'sKingdom of Glory ; as none
but thefe have any Relifh for the Bufinefs of Heaven, which is
to afcribe Glory to God, and not to themfelves ; and that God
jf tho' I would fpeak it with great Reverence of his Name and
Perfedions) cannot, without denying himfclf, finally caft fuclj
away.
The next Thing I had then to do, was to enquire, whether
ibis was my Religion : And here God was pleafed to help me to
the moft eafy Remembrance and critical Review of what had
pafs'd in Courfe, of a religious Nature, thro' feveral of the lat-
ter Years of my Life : And ahho' I could difcover much Cor-
ruption attending my bell Duties, many felfifh Views and car-
nal Ends, much fpiritual Pride and Self-Exaltation, and in-
numerable other Evils which conapSfs'd me about ; 1 fay,altho'
I now difcerned the Sins of my holy Things, as well as other
Anions, yet God was pleafed, as I was reviewing, quickly to put
this Queftion out of Doubt, by {hewing me, that I had, from
Time to Tirpe, a6^ed above the utmoft fnfluence of meer Self-
Love ; that I had longed to pleafe and glorify him, as my higheft
Happinefs, (^c. And this Review was thro' Grace attended
with a prefent Feeling of the fame divine Temper of Mind ; I
felt now pleafed, to think of the Glory of God, and longed for
Heaven, as a State wherein I might glorify God perfe<91y> r^'
ther than a Place of Happinefsfor my felf : And this Feeling ^f
the Love of -God in my Heart, which 1 trufl the Spirit of ^cd
ezcited ir. me afrs&j was fufficieht to giv^me full Satisfadlion,
228 ^/. 30. ^he LIFE
and make me Iong,as I had many Times before done,to be with
Chrift : I did not now want any of the fudden Suggejiiom ^vihioh
many arc fo pleafed whh^That Chri/i and his Benefits or^MiNE,
That God laves Me, ^c. in order to give me Satisfadion about
my State: No, my Soul now abhor'd thofeDelufionsof 5<2/<2i?,
which are thought to be the immediauWiinefs of the Spirit ^whWe
ti ere is nothing but an empty Sugge/iion of aceriainFacSljWithout
any gracious Difcovery of the divine Glory, or of the Sf iritis
Work in their ownHearts : I faw the awfulDelufion of this Kind
of Confidences, as well as of the whole of that Religion, which
they ufuaily fpring from, or at ieaft are the Attendants of ; the
falfe Religion of the late Day f tho* a Day of wondrousGrace)
the Imaginations, and Impreffions made only on the animal
AflFedions, together with the fudden Suggcftions, made to
the Mind by Satan, transformed, into an Angel of Light, of cer-
tain Fa(3s not revealed in Scripture : Thefe, and many like
Things, I fear, have made up the greater Part of the religious
Appearances in many Places.
Thefe Things I faw with great Clearnefs, when I was tho't
to be dying. And God gave me great Concern for his Church
and Intereft in the World, fat this Time : Not fo much bccaufc
the late remarkable* Influence upon the Minds of People was
abated, and almoft wholly gone, as becaufe that falfe Religion,
thofc Heats of Imagination, and wild and felfifh Commotions
of the animal AfFedlions, which attended the Work of Grace,
had prevailed fo far. This was that which my Mind dwelt up-
on, almoft Day and Night : And this, to me, was the darkeft
Appearance, refpcding Religion, in the Land ; for 'twas this
chiefly, that had prejudiced the World againft inward Religion.
And I faw, the great Mifer]^of all was, thatfo few faw any Man-
ner of Difference between thofe Exercifes that were fpiritual and
holy, and thofe which have Self-Love only for their Beginning,
Center, and End.
As God was pleafed to afford me Clearnefs of Thought, and
Compofure of Mind, almoft continually, for feveral Weeks
togcther,under my grcatWeaknefs ; fo he enabled me^ in fome
Meafure, to improve my Time ( as i hope ) to valuable Pur-
pofes. 1 was enabled to write a Number of important L^//^rj,
iQ Friends in remote Places * : And fometimes I wrote when
Among thefe are the eighth', ninth, and tenth Letters, at
ifee ]i\\Qi of this Hiftory.
of Mr. David Bralnerd. A.D. 1747. 229
I was Speechlefs ; i. e. unable to maintain Converfation with
any Body ; tho* perhaps I was able to fpeak a Word or two Co
as to be heard. — At this Seafon alfo, while I was confined aS
Bojlon^ I read with Care and Attention fome Papers of old Mr.
Skepard's^ lately come to Light, and defigaed for the Prefs :
And as I was defired, and greatly urged, made fomeCorredlions,
where the Senfe was left dark, for want of a Word or two.—
Befides this, I had many Viftiarrtsi with whom, when I was
able to fpeak, I always converfed of the Things of Religion ;
and was peculiarly difpofed and aflifted in diftinguifhing between
the true and falfe Religion of theTimes : There was fcarce any
Subject:, that has been Matter of Debate in the late Day, but
what I was at one Time or other brought to a Sort of Neceffity
to difcourfe upon, and fhew myOpinion in ; and that frequently
beforeNumbers of People ; and efpecially,Idifcourfed repeatedly
on the NatureandNeceifityof that Humiliation's elf- Emptinefs^
or full Conviction of a Perfon's being utterly undone in himfclf,
which is neceiTary in order to a faving Faith, and the extreme
Difficulty of being brought to this, and the great Danger thste
isofPerfons taking up with (owtS elf -righteous Appearances of it :
The Danger of this I efpecially dwelt uponjbeingperfwaded that
Multitudes perifh in this hidden Way ; and becaufe fo little is
faid from moft Pulpits to difcovcr any Danger here : So that
Perfons being never effe£lually brought to die in themfelves,
are never truly united to Chrift, and fo perifh.* I alfo difcourfed
much on what I take to be the EfTence of true Religion, endea-
vouring plainly to defcribc that God-like Temper and Difpofi-
tion of Soul, and that holy Converfation and Behaviour, that
may juftly claim the Honour of having God for its Original
and Patron. And I have Reafon to hope God bleifed my Way
ofdifcourfing and diftinguifliing, to fome, both Miniftcrs and
People ; fo that my Time was not wholly loft.
[ He was much vifited, while in Bo/Ion^ by many Perfons of
confiderable Note and Figure, and of the beft CharaCler, and by
fome of the firftRank: Who {hewed him uncommon Refpefi-,
and appeared highly pleafed and entertained with hisConverfatioR,
And befides his being honoured with the Company and Rerpe<^.t
of Miniftefs of the Town, he was vifited by feveral Mi-
nifters from various Parts of the Country. And as he took
all Opportunities to difcourfe ofthe peculiar Nature, and diftin-
guifhing Characters of true fpiritual and vital Religion, ^od to
bear his Teftiraony againft the rarious falfe Appearances of it,
- confillin^
X3P ^A 2>^' ^he LIFE
confifting in, or arifing from Imprellions on the Imaginationjand
fudden and fuppofed immediate Suggeftions of Truths, not
contained in theScripture, and thatFaith which confifts primarily
in a Perfon's believing that Chrtfi died for him in particuiar,Sic,
So what he faid was for the moft Part heard with uncommon
Attention and Regard ; and his Difcourfes and Reafonings ap-
peared manifeftly to have great Weight and Influence, with
many thatheconverfed with, both Minifters and others.*
Alfo the Honourable Commiflioners in Ba/ion^ of the incor-
porated Society in London for propagating the Gofpel in New^
England and Parts adjacent, having newly had committed to 'em
a Legacf of the late Rev. and famous Dr. Daniel IVilliami of
London^ for the Support oUwo Mijfionariei to the Heathen, were
pleafed, while he was in Boflon^ to confult him about a Miflion
to thofe Indian: called the Six Nations, particularly about the
Qualifications requifite in a Miflionary to thofe Indians ; and
were fo fatisfied with his Sentiments on this Head, and had
that Confidence in bis Faithfulnefs and his Judgment and Dif-
cretion in Things of this Nature, that they defired him to under-
take to find and recommend a couple of Perfons fit to be employed
in this Bufmefs ; and very much left the Matter with him.
Likewife certain pious and generoufly difpofed Gentlemen in
Bo/ion, being moved by the wonderful Narrative of his Labours
and Succefs among the Indians, in New-Jerfey, and more efpeci-
ally by their Converfation with him on the fame Subje6l, took
Opportunity to enquire more particularly into the State and
Necellities of his Congregation, and the School among the 7/7-
dians, with a charitable Intention of contributing fomething of
iheir Subfhnce to promote the excellent Defign of the Advance-
ment of the Interefts of Chriftianity among the Indians ; and
underftanding that there was a want of Bibles for theSchool, three
Dozen of Bibles were immediately procured, and 14/,'. in Bills
( of the old Tenour ) given over and above, befides more large
Benefactions made afterwards, which I fhall have Occafion to
mention in their proper Place.
I have had Advantage for the more full Information of his
ConducSt and Converfation, the Entertainment he met with,
and what pafs*d relating to him while in Bo/lon ; as he was
confhntly attended, during his Continuance there, by one
of my Children, in order to his Afliftancc in his likcfs.
of Mr, David Brainerd. A.D. ij^^j'. 231
Mr. Braimrd's Reftoration from his extreamly low State m
Bo/Icrty fo as to go abroad again and to travel, was very unex-
peaed to him and his Friends. My Daughter who was with him,
writes thus concerning him, in a Letter dated Ja^^ ji j. <<
«< OiiThurrday,he was very ill with a violen* Fever, & extreme
<< Pain in his Head and Breaftjand, at Turns, c'elirious. So he
« « remained 'till Saturday Evening,when he feem'd to be in the
<c Agonies of Death : The Family was up with him *till one
« or two o'clock, expefling every Hour would be his laft. On
<< Sabbath Day he was a little revived, his Head was better,
<< but very full of Pain,and exceeding fore at his Breaft, much
«« put to it for Breath &c. Yefterday he was better upon all
<« Accounts. Laft Night he flcpt but little. This Morning
«« he is much worfe. Do^koxPynchon fays,he has noHopes
«' of his Life ; nor does he think it likely he will ever come
*« out of the Chamber ; tho* he fays, he may be able to come
*' to Nsrthampton,'
In another Letter dated June 29. She fays as follows. " Mr,
<« Brainetd has not fo much Pain norFever, fince I laft wrote,
« as before : Yet he is extreamly weak and low, and very
*« faint, expedting every Day will be his laft. He fays, '//; im"
*' poffible far him to live, for want of Life, He has hardly Vi-
** gour enough to draw his Breath. I went this Morning into
<< Town, and when I came Home, Mr. Bromfietd fa id, he
«' never expedled I ihould fee him alive 5 for he lay twoHours,
*' as they thought, dying ; One could fcarcely tell, whether
«« be was alive, or not ; he was not able to fpeak, for fome
** Time: But now is much as he was before. The DoSfor
«< thinks, he will drop away in fuch a Turn. Mr. Brainerd
«« fays, he never felt any Thing fo much like Diffolution^ as
<« what he felt to Day ; and fays,he never had an;; Conception
«' of its being pofTible for any Creature to be alive, and yet fo
<« weak as he is from Day to Day. Dodlor Pyruhon fays,
*' he fhould not be furprized, if h«fhould (o recover as to live
*« half a Year ; nor would it furprize him, if hefliould die in
*' half a Day. Since I began to write, he is not fo well ; hav-
*' ing had a faint Turn again : Yet patient and refjgncd, hav-
** ing no diftreffing Fears, but the contrary."
His Phyfician, the honourable Jofeph Pynchon Efq; when he
vifited him in his extream lllnefs in Bofion^ attributed his fink-
ing fo fuddenly into a State fo extreamly low, and nigh unto
peath, to the breaking of Ulcers, that had been long gathering
(.in his Lungs (as Mr. Brainerd himfelf intimates in a foremen-
H h mn%
tlon'd Paffege in his Diary) and there difcharging and diffufing
their purulent Matter ; which, while Nature was labouring
and ftruggling to throw ofF (that could be done no otherwifc,
than by a gradual ftraining of it thro' the fmall Veffelsof thofe
vita! Parts ) This occafion'd an high Fever, and vioIcntCough-
ing, and threw the whole Frame of Nature into the utmoft
Diforder, and brought it near to a Diflblution. But fuppofed,
if the Strength of Nature held 'till the Lungs had this Way gra-
dually cleared themfclvcs of this putid Matter, he might revive,
and continue better, 'till new Ulc«rs gathered and broke ; but
then would furely fink again ; and that there was no Hope of
his Recovery ; but ( as he exprefled himfelf to one of myNeigh-
bours, who at that Time Taw him in Boflon) he was as certainly
a dead Man, as if he was {hot through the Heart.
But fo it was ordered in divine Providence, that the Strength
of Nature held out through this great Conflid, io as juft io
cfcape the Grave at that Turn ; and then he revived, to the
AftonifhmenC of all that knew his Cafe.
After he began to revive, he was vifited by his youngeft Bro-
ther, Mr. Ifrael Braiuerd^ a Student at Yalt- College ; who hav-
ing heard of his extreme lllnefs, went from thence to Bo/lorty
in order to fee him, if he might find him alive, which he but
iittle expe£ted.
This Vifit was attended with a mixture of Joy and Sorrow to
Mr, Bralnerd. He greatly rejoycedto fee his Brother, efpecialiy
becaufe he had dcfired an Opportunity of fome religiousConver-
fation with him before he died. But this meeting was attended
%fith Sorrow, as hisBrother brought tohim the forrow/ulTidings
of |iis Srfter o/>^«c^r'sDcath at Haddam-y a Sifter, between whom
and him had long fubfifted a peculiarly dear Affection, ar)d much
Intimacy in fpiritual Matters, and whofe Houfe he ufed to make
his Home, when he went to Haddam, his native Place". He
had heard nothing of her Sicknefs 'till this Report of herPcath.
But he had ihcfe Comforts, together with the Tidings, •C^iz* a
Confidence of her being gone to Heaven, and an Expedaticpn of
his foon meeting her tlierd— His Brother continued with hini
'rili he left the Town, and Came with him from thence to
IQortkampton.
Concerning tbe laft Sabbath Mr. Brainerd fpent in Bofion^ jhc
Writes in his jD;<2ry as follows.] 'i
f/jrd'3-Day, July 19. I was juft able to attend public kWoA-
fiiip, being carri^tothe Hauft of God in a Chaile. Hc-aril
Dr. 5/wtf// preach, i« ths Forenoon : Partook of the Lordv
"'-' Sup|,$i
ef Mr, David Brainerd. A.D. 1747. 233
Supper at this Time. In this Sacrament, 1 faw aftonifhing di-
vine/iTir/Jc^ difplay'd ; fuch Wifdom as I faw required "the
Tongues of 'Angels and glorified Saints to celebrate : hkt^*d
to me, I never foould do anyThing at adorin^;^ the infinite Wif-
dom of God difcovered in theContrivance of Man's Redemption^
until 1 arrived at a World of Perfe6tion ; yet 1 could not help
ftriving to calltipon my Soul and all within me to blefi the Name ef
God. In the Aftcrnoonjheard Mi. Prince preach.--- f faw
more of God in the Wifdom difcovered in the Plan of Man's
Redemption, than I faw of any other of his PerfecStionSjthrough
the whole Day.
[ He left Bo/Ion the nextDay, But before he came away, he
had Occafion to bear a very full plain and c^cnTe/iimony againft
that Opinion, that the EJfena of faving Faith lies in believing
ihatChriJi died for me in particular ^zudi that this is xhtfirfik^k of
Faith in a true Believer's clofing with Chrift. He did it in a
long Conference he had with a Gentleman, that has very pub-
lickly and ftrenucufly a-pear'd to defend that Tenet. He had
this I)ifcourfe with him in the Prefcnce of a Number of confi-
derable Perfons, who came to vifit Mr. Brainerd before ,'beleft
the Town, and to take their Leave of him. In which Debate,
he made this plain Declaration (at the fame Time confirming
whathefaid, by many Arguments) That the EJfenceoi faving
Faith was wholly left out of that Definition of faving Faith
which that Gentleman has publifhed ; and that the Faith which
he had defined^ had nothing of God in it, nothing above Na-
ture, nor indeed above the Power of the Devils j and that all
fuch as had this Faith, and had no better^ tho' they might have
this to never fo high a Degree, would furelv perifh. And he
declared alfo, that he never had greater A[furance of the Falfe-
nefs of the Principles of thofe that maintained /a^r^ a Faith, and
of their dangerous and deftru6iive Tendency, or a moj*c afFcft-
ing Senfe of the great Delufion and Mifery of thofe that de-
pended on getting to Heaven by fuch a Faith (while they had n9
hetter)K\\2in he lately had when he was fuppofed to be at thePoint
to^/>,and expedled everyMinutetopafsinto^/^m/;-. -Mr.
-Sra/Wi'sDifcourfe at this Time, and the forceableReafonings,
by which he confirmed what he afTerted, appeared to be greatly
la the Satisfadlion of thofe prefent ; as feveral of them tookOc-
cation ?xprefly to manifeft to him, before they took Leave of
him,
H h i WhcB
.'?*■
234 •^^- 3<^- ^*^ LIFE
When this Converfation was ended, having bid an afFedlio-
nate Farewel to his Friends, he fet out in the Cool of the Af-
ternoon, on his Journey toNorthamptofty attended bV hisBrother,
and my Daughter that went with him to B ofion ; and would
have been accompanied out of the Town by a Number ofGen-
' tlemen, befides that honourable Perfon who gave him his Com-
pany for fome Miles on that Occafion, as a Teftimony of their
Efteem and Rerpe6l,had not his Averfion to any Thing of Pomp
and Shew prevenied it. j
Saturday, y«/y 25 1 arrived here at Northampton'^ having
fet out from Bojion on Monday, about 4 o'Clock P. M. In this
Journey, I rode abou*^ 16 Miles a Day, one Day with another.
was fometimes extremely tired and faint on the Road, fo that
it feem'd impoffible for me to proceed any further : At other
Times I was confiJcrably better, and felt fame Freedom both
of Body and Mind,
Lord's-Day, July 26. This Day, I faw clearly, that I fhould
never be happy ; yea, that God himfelf could not make me hap-
py, unlefs 1 could be in a Capacity to pleafe and glorify him for
ever : Take away this^ and admit me into all the fine Heavens
that can be conceived of by Men or Angeb, and I fliould ftill
be miferable forever.
[ Tho* he had fo far revived, as to be able to travel thus
far, yethe manifefted no Expectation of Recovery: He fup-
pofed, as his Phyfician did, that his being brought fo near^to
Death at 55/?^», was owing to the breaking of Ulcers in his
Lungs : He told me, ihat he had had feveral fuch ill Turns be-
fore, only not to fo high a Degree, but as he fuppofed, owing
to the fame Caufe, viz. the breaking of Ulcers ; and that he
was brought lower and lower every Time ; and it appeared
to him, that in his laft Sicknefs (in Bo/ion) he was brought as
low as it was pofTible and yet live ; and that he had not the
IeaftExpe6lation offurviving the nextReturn of this breaking of
Ulcers: But ftill appeared petfe6tly calm in theProfpect ofDeath.
Ort Wednefday-Morning, theWeek after he came ioNorth-
errtptofty he took feave of his Brother J/raei, as never expeding
to fee him again m this World ; he nowietting out from hence
on his Journey to New- J^aven. "
When Mr. BrainnJ came hither, helitid fo much Strength
a«s to be ablp, from Day » o Day, to ridcMttit two or threeMiies,
nnd to r^tturn ; and fometi;iies to praylkt4heFamily ; but from
this Time he r^raduallyj but feuhblyj decayed, U became weak-
er an4"*(eaiccr.
.>,. Whi!*?
<?/ Mr. David Brainerd. A. D. 1747. 235
While he was here, his Converfation from fi;ft to laft was
much on the fame Sabje6ls as it had been when in Bojion : He
wasmucb in fpeakingof the Nature of true Religion oi Heart
and Practice, as diftinguifhed from it's various Counterfeits 5
expreffinghis great Concern, that the latter did fo much prevail
in many Pluces. He often manifefted his great Abhorrence of
all fuch Doifrines and Principles in Religion, as in any virife fa-
voured of, and had any ( tho' but a remote ) Tendency to An-
tinomianifm ; of all fuch Notions, as feem'd to diminifli tbeNe-
ceflity of Holinefsof Life,or toabateMen's Regard to theCom-
mands of God, and a ftridt diligent and univerfal Pra6>ice of
Vertue and Piety, under a Pretence of depreciating ourWorks,
and magnifying God's irtQ Grace. He fpaks often, with much
Deteftation, of fuch Experiences and pretended Difcoveries and
Joys^ as have nothing of the Nature oi San^ification in them,
and don't tend toStridnefs, Tendcrnefs, and Diligence inReli-
gion, and Meeknefs and Benevolence towards Mankind, and
an Humble BehaWour : And he alfo declared, that he looked on
fuch pretended Humility as worthy of no Regard, that was not
manifefted by Modefly of Condu^f and Convsrfation. He fpake
often, with Abhorrence, of the Spirit and Pradice that appears
among the greater Part of Separati/is at this Day in the Land,
particularly, thofe in the eafiern Parts of Connecticut ; in theic
condemning andfeparating fromtheJ?i3ndingM'm\{i{y &Churches:,
their crying down Liarning & a Learned Miniftry, theirNotion
of an i/nmediateCall io the Work of theMiniftry,and theForward-
nefs of Lay- men to fet up themfelves as publick Teachers. He
had been much converfant in the Eaftern Part of ConneSJicut(\\\s
native Place being near to it) when the fime Principles, Noti-
on and Spirit began to operate, which have fincc prevailed to a
greater Height ; and had Acquaintance with fome of thofe Per-
fons who are become Heads and Leaders of the Separati/is ; ho
had alfo been converfant withPerfons of the fumeWay elfcwhere:
And I heard him fay, once and again, he knew by his Acquain-
tance with this Sort of People, that what was chiefl/ and mofl
generally inRepufe among them as thePower o/Godline/s yV/as an
intircly diff'erent Thing from that true vital Piety recommended
in the Scriptures^ and had nothing in it of that Nature. He ma-
nifefted a greatDillike of a Difpofition in Perfons to much Noifa
and Show in Religion, and affe^ing to be abundant in proclaim-
nig and publiftiing their own Experiences ; Tho' at the fame
Time he did not condemn^ but approved of Chriftians fpeak-
ui their qwn Experiences on fome Qccafions^ an(J to fome Per-
fons,
K
>36 JEl/,20: The LIFE
fons, with due Modefty andDifcretion. He him/e/f fom£\lmety
while at my Houfe, fpake of his own Experiences : But it was
always with apparent Rtjerve^ and in the Exercife of Care and
Judgment with Refpefl toOccafionSjPerfons, and Circumftan-
ces. He mention'd fome remarkable Things of his own religi-
ous Experience to two young Gentlemen, Candidates for the
Miniftry, who watched with him { each at a difFv-^rent Time )
when he was very low and not far from his End -, But he defired
both of them not to fpeak of what he had told them 'till ofur
hii Death.
The Things which were the Subjedl of that Debate I men-
tioned before, that he had with a certain Gentleman, the Day
he left Bojlon^ feem'd to lie with much Weight on his Mind
after he came hither ; and he began to write a Letter to that
Gentleman ; expreffing his Sentiments concerning the dange-
rous Tendency of fome of (he Tenets he had expreficd in Con-
verfation, and in the Writings he had publifhed ; v/ith theCon*
fiderations by which the exceeding hurtful Nature of thofe No-
tions is evident 5 but he had not Strength to finifh his Letter.
\ After he came hither, as long as he lived, he was much in
pcakir>g of that future Profperi ty of Xioriy that is fo often fore-
1 old and promifed in the Scripture : It was a Theme he delight-
;rd to dwell upon ; and his Mind feem'd to be carried forth
►vith earned Concern about it, and intenfe Defires, that Reli-
ifion might fpeedily and abundantly revive and flourifh ; tho' he
had not the leaft Expectation of Recovery ; yea, the nearer
Death advanced, and the more the Symptoms of it's Approach
increafed, ftill the more did hisMind feem to be taken up with
this Subje(Sl, He told me, when near his End, that «* hene-
*« ver in all his Life had his Mind {q led forth in Defires and
*' earneft Prayers for the flourifhing of Christ's Kingdom on
** Earth, as fince he was brought fo exceeding low at Bojion.^*
He feem'd much to wonder, that there appear'd no more of a
Difpofition in Miniftersand People to pray for the flourifhing
of Religion thro' the World ; that fo little a Part of ihtxxPray
erswzi^ generally taken up about it, in their Families, and elfe-
where ; and particularly, he fevcral Times exprefTed his Won-
der, (hat there appear'd no more Forwardnefs to comply with
the Piopofal lately made, in a Memorial from a Number ofMi-
nilters in Scotland, and fent over \uKo America^ for united extra or^
dinary Prayer^ among Chrift's Minifters and People, for the
coming 0/ ChrifiU Kingdom : And he feftlit as his dying Advice-
to
e>/ Mr. David Brainerd. A.D.1747. 237
to his cvjn Congregaticriy that they fliould pradife agreably to
that PropofaL t
Tho' be was conftantly exceeding weak, yet there appcar'd
in him a continual Care well to improve Time^znd fill it up with
fomething that might be profitablcjand in feme Refped for the
Glory of God or the Good of Men ; cither profitable Conver-
fation,or writing Letters to abfent Friends, or noting fomething
in his Diary, or looking over his former Writings, correding
them, and preparing them to be left in the Hands of others at
his Death, or giving Tome Diredtions concerning a future Con-
dading and Management of his People, or Employment in
fecret Devotions. He feemM never to be eafy, however 111, if
he was not doing fomething for God, or in his Service.
After he came hither, he wrote a Preface to a Diary of the
famous Mr. Shepard's ( in thofe. Papers before-mention'J,lately
found ) having been much urged (o it by thofe Gentlemen in
Bo/ion who had the Care of the Publication : Which Diary,
with his Preface^ has fince been publifhed. %
In his Diary for LordVDay, Augufl 9. He fpeaks of longmg
Defires affer Deaths thro' a Senfe of the Excellency of a State
of PcrfeSiion,
In his Diary for- Lord's- Day Aug. 16. He fpeaks of his
having fo much Refrefliment of Saul in the Houie of (^^^^ that
it feem'd alfo to rcfrefh his Body* And this is not only noted
in his Diary, but was very obfervable to others ; it was very ap-
parent, not only, t"hat his Mind was exhilcrated with inward
Confolation, but alfo that his animal Spirits and bodily Streiif^th
feemed to be remarkably redored, as tho' he had forgot hi?
Illnefa But this was the lad: Time that ever he attended
publick Worfhip on the Sabbath.
f His Congregation, fince this, have with great Chearfulnefs
and Unanimity fallen in with this Advice, and have praiSti-
fed agreably to the Propofal from Scotland ; and have at
Times, appeared with uncommon Engagednefs and Fer-
vency of Spirit in their Meetings and united Devotions,
purfuant to that Propofal : Alfo the Prefbyteries of Isliw
Torkj and Neiu-Brunfvjick^ fmce this, have with one Con-
fent, fallen in with the Propofal, aslikewife {otne others of
God's People m thofe Parts.
X A Part of this Preface is infertexi in the Appendix to this
Hiiiory.
On
i
238 Mt. 30. 1U LIFE
OnTuefday-Morning that Week ( I being abfent on a JouN
ney ) he prayed with my Family ; but not without much
Difficulty, for want of bodily Strength : And this was the laft
Family-Prayer that ever he made.
He had been wont, 'till now, frequently to ride out, two or
three Miles ; But this Week, on Thurfday, was the laftTimc
he ever did fo.]
Lord*s-Day, Aug* 23. This Morning, I was confiderably
refrcfh'd with the Thought, yea, the Hope and Expedatinn of
the Enlargement o{ Christ's Kingdom ; and I could not but
hope, the Time was at Hand, when ^fl^y/tf« the great would /c//,
and rije no more : This led me to fome fpiritual Meditations^
that were very refrefhing to me, I was unable to attend pub*
lick VVorfhip, either Part of the Day ; but God was pleafed to
afford me Fixcdncfs and Satisfa£lion in divine Thoughts. No-
thing fo refrefhes my Soul, as when I can go to God, yea, to
God my exceeding Joy, When he is fo, fenfibly, to my Soul, Ob^
how unfpeakably delightful is this !
In the Week paft, 1 had divers Turns of inward Refrefhing ;
tho* my Body was inexpreffibly weak, followed continually
with Agues and Fevers. Sometimes my Soul center'd in God,
as my o\^\) Portion ; and I felt thatlfhould be forever unhappy,
i/ he did not reign : I faw the Sweetnefs andHappinefs of being
4 his Subject, at bis Difpofal : Th^s made all my Difficulties
quickly vanifh.
From thisLord's-Day,z;/z. Jug.i^-^ was troubled very much
with vapoury Diforders, and could neither write nor read, and
could fcarcely live ; altho* through Mercy, was not fo much
opprefsM with heavy Melancholy and Gloominefs, a$ at many
other Times.
[ 'Till this Week he had been wont to lodge in a Room
above Stairs ; but he now grew lo weak, that he was no longer
able to go Mp Stairs and down ; Friday Jug. 28. was the laft
Time he ever went above Stairs, henceforward he betook him-
felf to a lower Room.
On Wednefdav, September 2. Being the Day of our publick
Leaure,he feemM to be refrelh'd with feeing theNeighbouring
Minifters that came hitber to the Leaure,and exprcfsM a great
Defire once m^re to go to theHoufe of God on thatDay : And
accordingly rode to the Meeting, and attended divine Service,.
while iheRtv. Mr. IFofdhridicQi Hat field ^izd^zWd. He fignified
thafi
<?/ ikfr. BavfdBralnerda A.D.1747; 239
that he fuppofcd it to be the laft Time that ever he fliould at-
tend the publick Worfhip 5 as it proved. And indeed it was
the lalt Time that ever he went out at our Gate alive.
On the Saturday-Evening next following, he was unexped-
cdly vifitcd by his Brother Mr. JchnBrainerd^ who came to fee
him from JSJew-Jerfey, He was much refrefhed by this unex-
pected Vifit,this Brother being peculiarly dear to him ; and he
feem'd torejoyce in a devout and foJemn Manner, to fee him,
and to hear the comfortable Tidings he brought concerning the
State of his dear Congregation of Chriftian Indians : And aCir-
cumftancje of this Vifit, that he was exceeding glad of,was, that
his Brother brought him feme of his privateWritings UomNew-
^erfey^ and particularly his Diary that he had kept for many
Years paft. ]
Lord VDay, Sept. 6. I began to read feme of my private
Writings, which my Brother brought me ; and was confidera-
bly refrefh'd, with what I met with in them.
Monday, Sept. 7. I proceeded farther in reading my old pri-
vate VV^ritings, and found they had the fame Effedt upon me as
before : I could not but rejoyce and blefs God for what pafTed
long ago, which without Writing had been entirely loft.
This Evening, when I was in great Diftrefs of Body, jmySou!
long'd that God fhould be glorified : 1 faw there was no Hea-
ven but this. I could not but fpeak to the By-flanders then of
the only Happlnefi, viz. Pleafeng God.. Oh that 1 could foe
ever live to God! TheDay, I trufl,is at Hand, the perfedDay :
Oh, the Day of Deliverance from all Sin !
Lord's-Day, Sept. 13. I was much refrefliM and engaged m
Meditation and Writing, and found a Heart to a<5l for God,.
My Spirits were refrefhed, and my Soul delighted to do fome-
thing for God.
[On the Evening following that Lord's Day, his Feet begart
to appear fenfibly fweird ; which thenceforward fwell'd more
and more. A Symptom of his D ffolution coming on.
The next Day, his Brother John left him, being obliged to^
return to New-jferfeyoi^ fome Bufinefs of great Importance and
Neceflity ; intending to return again with all pofTiblc Speed „
hoping to fee his Brother yet once more in the Land of the
Living.
Mr. Brainerd having now with much Deliberation confider-
cd of fche impprt^nt Affair fore-mentionedjlcfi with him by the
I i honctiraWe
240 ^V. 30: 7S(? L I F E
honourable Commiffioners in Boflon, of theCorporatfon inXtf;y-
donioT the Propagation of the Gofpel in New- England and
Parts adjacent, viz. the fixing upon and recommending two
Pcrfons proper to be" improved as Miilionaries to the Six Na-
/w;?;, he about this Time wrote a Letter, recommending two
young Gentlemen of his Acquaintance to thofeComraiffioncrs,
viz. Mr, Elibu Spencer of Eaft'Haddam^ and Mr. J oh Strong
of Northampton, The Coramiilioners on the Receipt of thisLet-
ter, cheerfully and unanimoufly agreed to accept of and employ
thePerfons he had recommended : Who accordingly have fmce
waited on the Commiffioners to receive their Inftruftions ; and
purfuant to their Inftruilions, have applied themfelves to a Pre-
paration for the Bufinefs of their Miifion, in the Manner to
which they dire(Stcd them ; and one of them, viz. Mr. Spencer,
has been folemnly ordained to that Work, by feveral of theMi-
nifters of Bo/ion^ in the Prefence of an Ecclefiaftical Council
convened for thatPurpofe ; and is now gone forth to the Nation
of the Oncidaes, about 170 Miles beyond Albany,
' He alfo this Week, viz. on Wednefday, Septemb. 16. wrote
a Letter to a particular Gentleman in Bojion ( one of thofc
charitable Perfons foremention'd, who appeared fo forward to
contribute of their Subfiance for the promoting Chriftianity a-
moKg the Indiam ) relating to the Growth of the 7«^w«School,
and the Need of another School-Mafter or fome Perfonto aflift
the School-Mafter in iiaflruding the Indian Children. Thefe
Gentlemen, on the Rec;eipt of this Letter, had a Meeting, and
agreed with greatChearfulnefs to give 200 Pounds ( in Bills, of
the old Tenor ) for the Support of another School-Mafter -, and
dcfired the Rev. Mr. Pembertonoi New-York ( who was then
at Bojion, and was alfo, at their Dcfire, prefent at their Meet-
ingj as fl)on as poiTible to procure a fuitable Perfon for thatSer-
vice ; and alfo agreed to allow 75 Pounds to defray feme ifpe-
cial Charges, that were requifite to encourage the MifTion to
the Six Nations (befides the Salary allowed by the Commiflio-
rers ) which was alfo done on fome. Intimations given by Mr.
£rc incrd.
Mr. £Vtf;Wrifpcnt himfelf much in writing thofe Letters,
being exceeding weak : But it feem'd to be much to his Satis-
facSlion, that he had been enabled to doit ; hoping that it was
fomethingdone for God, and which might be for the advance-
ment of Christ's Kingdom and Glory. In writing the laft
f thefe Letters, he was obliged to ufc the Hand of another,
cing able to write himfel.'.
On
o/ Mr. David Brainerd. A...D. 1747.' 24.1
On theThurfday of this Week [Septemh. 17. ) was thelaft
Time that ever he went out of his Lodging Room. That
Day, he was again vilited by his Brother Ifraet, who continued
with him thence-forward 'till his Death. Oa that Evening, he
was taken with fomething of a Diarrhea ; which helook'd up-
on as another Sign of his approaching Death : Whereupon he
exprefs'd himfelf thus ; Oh^ theg/oricus Time is r,ow coming ! I
have UngediQ ferve GodperfeSily : Now God will gratify thofe
Defires ! And fromTime toTime, at the fevcral Steps and new
Symptoms of the fenfible Approach of his DiUbluiion, he was
fo far from being funk or damp'd, that he feem'd to be animat-
ed, and made mgrechearful ; as being glad at the Appearance:?
of Deaih*s Approach. He often ufed theEpithet, glorious^ when
fpeaking of the Day of his Deaths calling \i that glorious Day.
And as he faw his DifTolution gradually approaching, be was
much in talking about it, with perfed Calmnefs fpeaking of
a future State ; and alfo fettling all hisAfFairs, yexy particularly
and minutely giving Directions concerning what he would
have done in one Refpe<Sl and another after he was dead. And
the nearer Death approached, the more defirous he feem'd to be
of it. He feveral Times fpake of the difFerent Kinds of PFil-
lingnefs to die ; and fpoke of it as an ignoble, meanKind of Wii-
lingnefs to die, to be willing to leave the Body, only to get rid
of Pain ; or to go to Heaven, only to get Honour and Advance-
ment there.]
Saturday, ^^p/. 19. near Night, while I attempted to walk
a little, my Tho'ts turned thus ; How infinitely Jweet it is^to lovi
God, and be all for him I Upon which ic was fuggefted to me,
Tou are not an Angel^mt lively ana a^ive. To which my whole
Soul immediately replied, 1 as fmcerely defire to love and glorify
God^as any Angel in Heaven. Upon which it was fuggefted again.
But you are filthy ^not fit for Heaven. Hereupon inftantly appear'd
the blefled Robes of Christ's Righteoufnefs, vih'xch 1 could not
but exulc and triumph in ; and 1 view'd the infiniteExcellency
of God, and my Soul even broke with Longings, tfiat God^
ihouldhz glorified, I thought of Dignity in Heaven ; but in-
ftantly the Tho't returned, 1 don't goto Heaven to get Honour^
hut to give all pojfible Glory and Pra'tfe. Oh, how I ionged,that '
God (hould be glorified on Earth alfo I Oh> 1 was made, foe
Eternity, if God might be glorified! Sodi/y Pains Icztcd not
for: Tho' I was then in Extremity, I never felt eafier ; I felt
willing to glorify GdH in that State of bodily Diftrefs, as long as
he picafed I fhould continue in it. The Qravs appeared really
111 * fv/ect^
242 yS/.3<5- ^^^ ^^^^
fwect, and 1 longed to lodge my weary Bones in it : But Oh
that God might be glorified ! this was the Burden of all myCiy.
Oh, I knew, 1 {hould be a£five as an Angel, in Heaven ; and
that I fhould be itrip'd of my fiUhyGarmenti ! So that there was
no Objedion. But Oh, to love and praife God more, to
plea/e him for ever ! This my Soul panted after, and even now
pants for while 1 write. Oh, that God might be glorified in the
whole Earth. Lor d^ let thy Kingdom come. I longed tor a Spi-
rit oi Preaching to defcend and reft on Af/«//?^r;, that they might
addrefs the Confciences of Men with Clofenefs and Power. I
faw, God had therefidue of the- Spirit ; and my Soul longed it
fhould ht poured from on high, 1 could not but plead with God
for my dear Congregation, that he would preferve it, and not
fuffci his great Nam^e to lofe it's Glory in that Work ; MySouI
ftill longing, that Gci might be glorified,
[ The extraordinary Frame, that he was in, that Evening,
could not be hid ; his Mouth /pake out of the Abundance of his
Heart, eXpreiTmg in a very afFecSling Manner much the fame
Things as are written in his Diary : And among very many
other extraordinary ExprefHons, which he then uttered, were
fuch as thefe ; «' My Heaven is to pleafe God, and glorify hi?:!^
*' and give all to him, and to be wholly devoted to his Glory ;
<« that is the Heaven I long for ; that is my Religion, and
*^ that is my Happ'mefs ; and always was ever fmce 1 fuppofe
«« i had any true Religion ; and all thofe that are of that Re-
^« Ilgion, diajl meet me in Heaven.- • I don't go to Heaven
*' to be advanced, but to give Honour toGod. 'Tis noMatter
*« where I fhall be fbtion'd in Heaven, whether 1 have a high
<' or a low Seat there ; but to love and pleafe and glori/y God
*« is al! : Had I a Thoufand Sculsy if they were worth any
** Thing, 1 would give 'cm all to God ; but I have nothing
" to give, when all is'donc. — ~ h is impofTible for any rational
*' Creature to be happy vi'ithout ccling aW for God : God him-
** fslr could not make him happv any other Way. 1 long
*' to be in Heaven, prarfing ai;d glorifying GoD .with the holy
*» Angels : All my Dcfire is to glorify God. My Heart
*^ eoe; out to the 'liur)ir:g Place \ it f«ems to me a dejirabk
'* V\oiZ'C : but Oh io glorify (lOD^that is it ; that is above
" all 'Tis a great Comf'^rapb mc, to think, that i have
'' done a liltlc/<?r God in the V\i?rld : Oh ! 'tis but z very
" Jmail Matter ; yet 1 have d<»he a little ; and I lament it,
^ " that I have not done mors for hiiT)''- — • There is nothing
(>/ Mr. David Brainerd. A.D. 1747. 24,^
c« in the World worth living for, but doing Good, znd ^ni/hing
«« God's IVork^ doing theWork that Chrljl did. I fee iiothincr
<« elfein the World, that can yield any Satisfaaion, bcfide*
*' living to God, pleafmg hinty and ^^y/wi- his whole Will. .
*' Mv greateft Joy and Comfort has been, to do fomething for
'' promoting thelntered of Religion, and theSouls of particular
*' Perfons : And now, in my Illnefs, while I am full of Pain
** and Diftrefs, from Day to Day, all the Comfort I have, is
*' in being able to do fonie little Chare [ or frnall Piece of
*' Work ] for God ; either by fomething that I fay, or by
" writing, or fome other Way."
He intermingled with thefe and other like Exprellions,m3ny
pathetical Counjels to thofe that were about him ; particularly
to my Children and Servants. He applied himfelt to fome of
my younger Children at this Time ; calling them to him, and
fpeaking to *em one by one j fetting before them, in a very
plain Manner, the Nature and Efl'ence of true Piet)', and its
great Importance and Neceffity ; earnefily warning them not
to reft in any Thing (hort of that true and thorough Change of
Heart, and a Life devoted toGod ; ccunfelling them not to be
flack in the great Bufinefs of P.eligion,nor in the leaft to delay
it ; enforcing his Counfels with this, that his Words were the
Words of a dying Man : Said he, "I fhall die here, and here £
*' fhall be buried, and here you will fee my Grave, and do you
" remember what I have faid to you. I am going intc Eternity v
«« And 'tis fweet to me to think of Eternity; the Endlefnefs
*« of it makes it Tweet: But Oh, what fiiall 1 fay to the Eter-
*« nity of the^F/V/^^^/ I can't mention it,nor think of it : The
'' Thought is too dreadful. When you fee my Grave, then
" remember what I faid to you while f was alive : then think
'« with your felf, how thatMan, that lies in that Grave, coun-
f ' felPd and warned me to prepare ^or Death."
His Body fceroed to be marvelloufly ftren^hen'd, through
the inward Vigour andRefrefhment of h\s Mind ; fo that, akho'
be!ore he was fo weak that he could hardly utter a Sentence,
yet now he continued his moft affecting and profitable Difcourfe
to us for more than an Hour, with fcarce any Intermiflion ;
and faid of it, when he had done, // was the iajl Sermon thai
evir he Jhould preach.
This extraordinary Frame of Mind continued the nextDay ;
cf which he fays in his Diary as follows. J
Lord's-Day Sept, 20. Was itill in a {^wztt and comfortable
Frame j and was again melted with Defires that Q::Ti migbt
be
244 ^^' 50. TU LIFE
be ghriJiediZX)d with Longings to love and live to him. Longed
for the Influences of the divine Spirit to defcend onMini/ien^ in
a fpecial Manner. And Oh, I longed to be with God, to be-
told his Glory, and to bow in his Prefence !
[4t appears by what is noted in his Diary, both of thisDay,
and the Evening preceeding, that his Mind at this Time was
much imprefs'd with a Senfe of the Importance of the Work of
the Minijiry, ind the Need of the Grace of God, and his fpecial
fpiritual Affiftance in this Work : And ft alfo appeared in what
he exprefTed in Converfation ; particularly in his Difcourfe to
bis Brother J/rae/, who was then a Member of Tale-College at
2s!ew-Haven, and had been profecuting his Studies and acade-
mical Excrcifes there, to that End, that he might be fitted for
the Work of the Miniftry, and was now with him.* He now,
and from Time to Time, in this his dying State, recommended
to his Brother, a Life of Self-denial, of Weanedncfs from the
World, and Devotedncfs to God, and an earneft Endeavour to
obtain much of the Grace of God's Spirit, and God's gracious
Influences on his Heart ; reprefenting the great Need which
Minil^ers ftand in of them, and the unfpeakable Benefit of
them from his own Experience. Among many other Expref-
fions, he faid thus ; «' When Minifiers feel thefe fpecial gra-
*' cious Influences on their Hearts, it wonderfully aififts them
<< to come at the Confciences of Men, and as it were to handle
<« them withHands ; whereas, without them,whateverReafon
«« and Oratory we make ufe of, we do but make ufe oi Stumps,
«« inftead of Hands.*']
Monday, Sept. 21. I began to corrcft a little Volume of
mv private Writings : God, I believe, remarkably helped me
in it ; my Strength was furprizingly lengthened out, and my
Thoughts quick and lively, and my Soul refrefh'd, hoping it
^ might be a Work for God. Oh, how good, how fweet it is,
to labour for God !
This young Gentleman was an ingenious,ferious,ftudiou$
and hopefully truly pious Perfon : There appeared in him
many (Qualities giving Hope of his being a great Bleffing
in his Day. But it has pleafed God, fince the Death of
his Brother, to take him away alfo. He died that Winter,
at New- Haven, on Jan. 6. 1747,8. of a nervous Fever,
after about a Fortnight's Illncfs.
Tuefday,
cfMr. David Brainerd A.D.1747. 245
Tuefday, 5/?p/. 22. Was again employed in reading and-
corre6ting, and had the fame Succefs, as the Day before. I was
exceeding weak; but it feem'd lo refrefh my Soul, thus to
fpend Time.
Wednefday, Sept. 23. I finifhM my Correaions of the little
Piece foremention'd,and felt uncommonly peaceful : It {q^xs^^
as if I had now done all my Work in this World, and flood ready
for my Call to a better. As long as I fee any Thing to be done
for God, Life is worth having : But Oh,how vain and unwor-
thy 'tis, to live for any lower End ! This Day, I injJited
a Letter, I think, of great Importance, to the Rev. Mr. Byram
in New-Jerfey : Oh that God would blefs and fucceed thatLet-
ter,which was written for theBenefit of hisChurch ! * Oh that
God would puri/y ihe Sons of Levi, that his Glory may be ad-
vanced ! This Night, I endured a dreadful Turn, wherein
my Life was expeded fcarce an Hour or Minute together. But
blefled be God, I have enjoyed confiderable Sweelnefs in divine
Things, this Week, both by Night and Day.
Thurfday, Sept, 24. My Strength began to fail exceedingly ;
which look'd further as if I had done all my Work : However
I had Strength to fold and fuperfcribe my Letter. About two
I went to Bed, being weak and much difordered, and lay in a
burning Fever 'till Night, without any proper Reft. In the
Evening, I got up, having Jain down in fome of myCloaths j but
was in the greateft Diftrefs, that ever I endured, having an un-
common Kind of Hiccough ; which either ftrangled me, or
threw me into a Straining to vomit ; and at the fame Time was
diftrefs'd with griping Pains. Oh, the Diftrefs of thisEvening I
1 had little Expedaiion of my living th^ Night tHVough, nor
indeed had any about me; and I longed for the finijhinz Mo-
ment ! I was obliged to repa'r to*Bed by 6 o'Clock ;
and thro' Mercy enjoyed Tome Reft; but was grievoufly dif-
tref^'d at Turns with the Hiccough ^ My Soul breathed
a^ter God, while the Watcher was with me: — When flyall
1 come to Godjf even to Gody my exceeding "Joy? Oh for hii' b^ejjed
Likenefs !
PViday, Sept. 25. This Day, I was unfpeakably weak, and
little better than bpeechlefs all the D^y : However, I v/as abJe
If^ was concerning theQ^jalificaiions of Mtmflers^zvi^ the
Examination and L'Cenfing 0' Caniida'e: for the Vfork of
the Mifjiitry
x<a
246 Mt 0,0. ri'(?LIFE
to write a . '^, and felt comfortably in fome Part of the Day,
Oh, it rc':cf:i:dmy Sou), to think of former Things, ofDefires
to glorif}' G:d, of the Pleafures of living to him ! Oh my dear
Godyl am fpeediiy coming to ihee^ 1 hope ! Ha ft en the Day^ OLord^
if it be thy bUJJ'edWill : Oh come^ Lord Jefus^ come quickly. Amen, *
Saturday, Sept. 7.6. I felt the Sweetnefs of divine Things,
this Forenoon ; and had the Coiifolation of a Confcioufnefs that
I was doing fome thing for God.
Lord's-Day, Sept. 27. This was a very comfortable Day
to my Soul ; I think, 1 awoke with God, 1 was enabled to lift
up my Soul to God., early this Morning ; and while I had little
bodily Strength. I found Freedom to lift up my Heart to God
for my felt and others. Afterwards, was pleafed with theThoughts
offpcedily entrifig into the unfeen World.
[ Eariy this Morning, ^s one of the Family came into the
Room, he exprefs'd himfelf thus : 1 have had more Pleafure this
Morning., then cU the Drunkards /« the fVorli enjoy ^ if it were
ail (xiraaed ! So much did he efteem the Joy of Faith
eibovmhQ Plt!afur£s of Sin.
He fcilt. that Morning, an unufual Appetite to Food ; with
which his Mind fcem'd to be exhilarated, as looking on it aSign
of the very near Approach of Death ; and faid upon it, I was
horn en a Sabbath-Day ; and 1 hf^ve Reafon io think 1 was new-
bornon «Sabbath-Day ; iff 1 hope Ifhalldie on /^/i Sabbath- Day :
J fhould look vpm it as a Favour, if it may be the Will of God that
it fh:u'd hefo : I ion^rfor the Time. Oh, why is his Chariot fo
Joi;g in coming I Why tarry the Wheels of his Chariots ? 1 am
very willing to part with all- : 2 am willing to part with my dear
Brotherjohn, and never to fee him again, to go to be forever with
she Lord, f Qh, when I pothers, hoivtuill Gcd's dear Church on
Earth be upon my Mind !
* This was the h.ft that ever he wrote in his Diary with his
own Hand : Tho' it is continued a little farther, in a bro-
ken Manner ; written hv his Brother Ifrael, but indieJ
by his Mouth in this his weak and dying State.
t He had, bcfo/e this, txprefs'd a Dciire, if it m'ght be the
Will of God, to live *till his Brother returned from Kew^
Jerfey : Who, when he went away, intended, if ponible,to
perform his Journey and return in a Fortnight ; hoping
once more to meet his Brother in the Land of the Living.
Tiie Foruiight was nor.' :Kar expired, it ending the next
Da;'. " AUervvards
cf Mr. David Brainerd; A.D. i ^j^f, 247
Afterwards, the fame Morning, being aflced, how he did, he
anfwered, / em almo/i in Eternity ; Jiong to be there. MylVork
is done : J have done with ali my Friends : All the IVorld is nothing
to me. I long to he in Heaven, praifing and glorifying God
tuith the holy Angels : All my Defire is to gloiify Qod,
During the whole of thefe laft two Weeks of his Life he
feem*d to continue in this Frame of Heart, ioofe from al/the
World, as having done his Work, and done with all Things
here below, having nothing to do but to die, and abiding in an
earneft Defire and Expectation of the happy Moment, when
his Soul fhould take it's Flight, and go to a State of Pcrfe£lioii
of Holinefs and perfe6t glorifying and enjoying God, manifefted
in a variety ofExpreffions. He faid. That the Confederation of thi
Day of Deathy and the Day of Judgment^ had a long Time been
peculiarly fweet to him. He from Time to Time fpake of his
being willing to leave the Body and the VVorld immediately, that
Day, that Night, and that Moment, if it was the Will ofGod.
He alfo was much in expreffing his Longings that the Church
of Chrifl on Earth might flourifh, and Chrift's Kingdom here
might be advanced, notwithftanding he was about to leave the
Earthy and fhouid not with his Eyes behold the defirableEvent,,
nor be inftrumental in promoting it. He faid to mejOneMorn-
ing, as I came into the Room, M^ Thoughts have been employed
en^he old dear Theme, The Profperity of God's Church on Eartho.
jis 1 waked out of Sleep, 1 was led to cry for the pouring out of
God's Spirit, and the Advancement of Chriji*s Kingdom, which
the cear Redeemer did and fuffered fo much for, *Tis that efpeci-'
ally makes me long for it,— He exprelTed much Hope that a glo-
rious Advancement of Chrift's Kingdom was near at Hand.
He once told me, that he had formerly longed for the Out'^
pouring of the Spirit of God, and the glorious Times of the Churchy
end hoped they were coming ; andjhould have been willing to havi.
lived to promote Religion atthatTime, if that had been the Will of
God ; But ( fays he ) I am willing it /hould be as it is 5 / would
not have the Choice to make for my felf, for ten Thoufand Worldu
He exprefTed on his Death- Bed a full Perfwafion, that he fl^ould
in Heaven fee the Profperity of the Church on Earth, and
ihould rejoyce with Chrift therein ; And the Confideration of
it feem'd to be highly pleafing and fatisfying to bis Mind.
He alfo ftill dwelt much on the greatlmportance of iheWork
of Miniflers of the Gofpel -, and exprefs'd his Longings, that
xhey might he filled with the Spirit of God -y and manifefted much
Dcfirc to k^ l9mc of the Neighbouring Minifters. whcxn he
■ Kk bad
248 -^/. 30: T'^tf L I F E
had fome Acquaintaiv:e with, and whofe finccre Fricndfhip he
was confident of, that he might Gonverfe freely with (hem on
that Subjc6l:, before he died. And it fo happened, 'hat he had
Opportunity with fome of them, according to his Dclire.
Another Thing that Jay much on hisHeart, and that he fpakc
©f, from Time to Time, ira thefe near Approaches ot Death,
was the rpiritual Profperityof his own Congregation ofChriftian
Indians in Ngw-Jer/ey : and when he fpakeof them,it was with
peculiar Tendcrnefs ; fo that his Speech would be prefently
interrupted and drowned with Tears.
Healfo exprclTed much Satisfaction in the Difpofals of Pro-
vidence, with Regard to the Circumftances of his Death ; par-
ticularly that God had before his Death given him the Oppor-
tunity he had had in Bojion^ with fo many confiderablePerfons,
Miniflers and others, to give in hU Tefitmony for God, and
againft falfe Religion, and many Miftakes that lead to it, and
promote it ; and there to lay befor^e pious and charitable Gen-
tlemen, the State of thelndians^ and theirNeceffities, to fo good
EfFe6t ; and that God had fince given- him Opportunity to
write to them further concerning thefe Affairs ; and to write
other Letters of Importance, that he hoped might be of good
Influence with Regard to the State of Religion among the 2ndi^
ens, and elfewhere, after his Death. He exprefs'd greatThank-
f ulnefs to God for his Mercy in thefe Things. He alfo men-
tioned it as what he accounted a merciful Circumftance of his,
Death, that he fhould die here \\ . And fpeaking of thefe
Things, he hid, God had granted him allhiiDeJtre i and fignified,
that now he could with the greater Alacrity leave the World.]
d The Editor takes Leave to make the Remark, that when
Mr. Brainerd v/as at 'Bofton, fick nigh unto Death,
it was with Relu6iance he thought of dying in a Place
where Funerals are often attended with a Fomp & Shaw^
which ( efpecially on Occafion of his own ) he was veiy
averfe to any Appearance of : And tho' it was with fome
Difficulty he got his Mind reconciled to the Profpe(5l then
before him, yet at laft he was bro't to acquiefce in the
Divine Will, with Rcfpcd to this Circumftance of his
Departure. However, it pleafed God to order theEvent
fo as to gratify his Defire^ which he had exprefs'd, of
getting back to Northampton^'w'wh a Vicw particularly t0j
a more filcnt and privaie BuriaU " ^ ""
fcbndayj
ef M*. David Bralnerd. A,D. 1747.^ 249
Monday, Sept. 28. I was able to read, and make fome few
Corrections in my private Writings ; but found I could not
write, as I had done ; I found my feif fenfibly declined in all
Refpedls. It has been only from a little .while before Noon,
'till about one or two o*Clock, that I have been able to do any
Thing, for fome Timepaft : Yet this refrefli'd my Heart, that
I could do any Thing, either publick or private, that 1 hoped
was for God.
[ This Evening, he was fuppos'd to be dying : He tho*t fo
himfelf, and was tho't fo by thofe who were about him. He
feem'd glad at the Appearance of the near Approach of Death.
He was almoft Speechlefs, but his Lips appeared to move ; and
one that fat very near him, heard him utter fuch Expreffions as
thefe* Comey Lord Jefus^ come quickly. — Oh, ivhy is his
Chariot Jo Ion j^ in coming ! — — * After he revived, he blamed
himfelf for having been too eager to be gone. And in exprefling
what he found in the Frame of his Mind at that Time, he faid,
he then found an inexpreflibly fweetLove to thofe that he look-
ed upon as belonging to Chrijij beyond almoft all that ever he
felt before ; fo that it feerrCd ( to ufc his own Words ) like
a little Piece of Heaven to have one of them near him. And being
alked, whether he heard the Prayer that was ( at his Defire )
made with him ; he faid, Tes^ he heard every Word^ and had an
uncommon Senje of the Things that were uttered in that Prayer ^and
that every Word reached his Heart,
On the Evening of the next Day, viz. Tuefday, Septemkig.
As he lay in his Bed, he feem'd to be in an extraordinary
Frame ; his Mind greatly engaged in fweet Meditations con-
cerning the Profperity of Zion : There being prefent here at[
that Time two young Gentlemen of his Acquaintance, that
were Candidates for the Mi^iif^ry^ he defired us ali to unite in
finging a Pfalm on that Subjed, even Z/Vi's Profperity. And
on his Defire we fung a Part of the CII Pfalm. This feem'd
much to refrefh and revive him, and gave him new Strength ;
fo that, tho* before he could fcarcely (peak at all, now he pro-
ceeded, with fome Freedom of Speech, to give his dying Coun-
fels to thofe two young Gentlemen fore-mentioned, relating to
their Preparation for, and Profecution of that great Work of
theMiniftry they were defigned for ; and m particular, earneftly
recommended to 'cm frequent fccret Fcjling and Prayer : And
enforced his Counfel with Regard to this, from his own Experi-
ence of the great Comfort and BeneiKt of it ; which ( faid he ) I
(koMld not mention, were it not that I am a dying Perfon. And^
K k 2 afttr
ft5o 2Ei. 30: ne LIFE
after he had finifhed his Counfel, he made a Prayer, in the Au*-
dience of usall ; wherein, befides praying for this Family, for
his Brethren, and thofe Candidates ror the Miniftry, and for
his own Congregation, he earneftly piaycd for the reviving and
flourifhingof Reh'gionin the World,
'Till now, he bad every Day fat up Part of the Day ; but
after this, he never tofe from his Bed. ]
Wcdnelday, S^pt. 30. I was obliged to keep my Bed the
whole Day, thro' Weaknefs. However,redecm*d a littleTirae,
and with the Help of my Brother, read and cone6ted about a
Dozen Pages in mv M.S.giving an Account of my Converfion.
Thurfday, O^oh. I. I endeavoured again to do fomething by
Way of writing, but foon found my Powers of Body and Mind
utterly fail. Felt not fo f wee tly, as when I was able to do
fomething that 1 hoped would do fome Good. In the Evening,
was difcompofed and wholly delirious ; but it was not long be-
fore God was pleafed to give me fomeSlecp, and fully compofed
my Mind, f Oh, blefTcd be God for his great Goodnefs to me,
fmce I was fo low at Mr. Brdmfield's, on Thurfday Jung 18 laft
pafl. He has, except thofe few Minutes, given me the clear
Exercife of myReafon, and enabled me to labour much for him,
in Things both of a publick and private Nature ; and perhaps
tp do more Good, than I fhould have done if 1 had been well j
jbefides the comfortable Influences of his blcfTed Spirit, with
which he has been pleafed to refrefh my Soul, May his Name
have all the Glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Friday, Qifob, 2. My Soul was this Day, at Turns, fwcctly
fcton God : 1 longed to be with him ^ that I might behold hit
Glory ', 1 felt fweetly difpofed to commit all to him, even my
deareft Fi lends, my dearclt Flock, and my abfent Brother, and
all my Concerns for Time and Eternity. Oh that hiiKing^om
might come in the World ; that they might all love and glorify
him, for what he is in himfclf ; and that the blcfTed Redeemer
might /^^ of the Travail of his Soul, and be fatisfied^ Oh, comt^
Lord Jefus^ come quickly. Amen. *
'I" From this Time forward, he had the freeUfe of his Rea-
fon 'till (he Day before hisDeath ; excepting that at fome
times he appeared a little lofl for a Moment,at fjrlt waking
out of Sleep.
♦ Here ends his Diary : Thefe are the laji fVordi^ that are
Written in it, either by his oyvn Han«l, or by any other
from his Mout;h? f The
0/ Mr. David Braineri A.D. 1747. 251
f The next Evening, we very much cxpe6led his Brother
John from Neiv-Jerfey ; it being about a Week after theTime
that he propofed for his Return,when he went away. And tho*
our Expectations were ftill difappointed ; yet Mr. Brainerd
fcem'd to continue unmoved, in the fame calm and peaceful
Frame, that he had before manifcfted ; as having refigned all to
God, and having done with his friends, and with all Things
here below.
On the Morning of the next Day,being LordVDay, Osf. 4.
as ray Daughter Jeru(ha ( who chiefly tended him ) came into
the Room, he look'd on her very pleafantly, and faid. Dear Je-
ruiha, are you wiiiin^ to part with me ? ■ ■■ 1 am quite willing
to part with you : 1 am witling to part with all my Friends : I
em willing to part with my dear Brother John ; altho' J love him
the heji of any Creature living : I have committed him and all my
Friends to God, and can leave them with God. Tho\ if J thought
1 Jhould not fee you^and be happy with you in another World, I could
not bear to part with you. But we Jhall fpend an happy Eternity
together I * In the Evtning,as one came into the Room with a
Bible
* Since this, it has pleafcd a holy and fovereign God to take
away this my dear Child by-Death, on the 14 of February^
next following ; after a fhort Illnefs of five Days ; in the
eighteenth Year of her Age. She was a Perfon of much
the fame Spirit with Mr. Brainerd, She had conflantly
taken Care of,and tended him in hisSicknefs,for igWeeks
before hisDeath ; devoting herfelf to it with greatDelighf,
becaufe fhe look'd on him as an eminentjServant of Jc-
fus Chrift. In thisTime, he had much Converfation with
heron Things of Religion; and in his dying State, oftca
exprefs'd to us,herParents, his greatSatisfadion concerning
her true Piety, and his Confidence that he fhould meet
her in Heaven ; and his high Opinion of her, not only as
a true Chriflian, but a very eminent Saint ; One whofe
Soul was uncommonly fed and cntertain'd With 7'hings
that appertain to the moft fpiritual experimental and dif-
tinguifhingParts of Religion ; and one who by theTemper
of her Mind was fitted to deny herfelf for God, and to do
Good, beyond any young VVoman whatfoever that he
Icnew of. S^e had manifefted a Heart uncommonly de-
voted to Gydj in the Courfc of her Lifc^ many Years be-
fore
^c,^ 'ML'Xo: 5i&tfLIFE
o
Bible in hcrHand,he exprcfo'd himfelf thus ; Oh, that dtarBook f
that lovely Book ! I /hall Joan fet it open'd f The A^yfliries that
are in it, a%d the Myjieries of God's Providence, will be all un-
folded !
Hls Diftemper now very apparently prey'd on hisVitals in an
extraordinaryManner : Not by a fudden breaking of Ulcers in his
Lungs, asat-Bff/^flWjbut by a conftantDifchargeofpurulentMatter,
in greatQuantities : So that what he bro't up by Expedloration,
fcem'd to be as it were Mouthfuls of almoft clear Pus ; which
was attended with very great inward Pain and Diftrefs.
On Thurfday, O^ok, 6. He lay, for a confiderable Time,as
if he were dying. At which Time, he was heard to utter, in
broken Whifpers, Tuch Expreffions as thefe ; Ue will come^ he
will not tarry.— Ijhallfoon be in Glory,-- 1 /hall foon glorifyGod
with the Angeli. But after fome Time he revived.
The next Day, viz. VVedncfday,0^tf^. 7. His Brother John
arrived, being returned from New-j/erfey -, where he had been
detained much longer than he intended, by a mortal Sicknefs
prevailing amogg tlieChriftian Indians^znd by fome otherThings
in their Circumllances that made his Stay with them ncceflary.
Mr. Brainerd was afFe(5ted and refrefhM with feeing him, and
appeared fully fatisfied with the Reafons of his Delay ; feeing
the Intercft of Religion and of the Souls of his People required
it.
The next Day, Thurfday,0^^^. 8. He was in great Diftrefs
and Agonies of Body ; and for the bigger Part of the Day, was
much difordered as to the Exercife of his Reafon. In theEven-
ing, he was more compofed, and had the Ufe of his Reafon
well ; but the Pain of his Body continued and increafed. He
told me, it wa^ jmpoffible for any to conceive of the Diftrefs he
felt in his Breaff. He manifefted much Concern left he fhould
difhonourGod by Impatience,under his cxtremeAgony ; which
was fucb, that he faid, the Thought of enduring it one Minute
longer was almoft infupportabie. He defired,that others would
be much in lifting up their Hearts continually to God for him,
that God would fupport him, and give him Patience. He fig-
fore her Death; and faid on her Death-Bed, that /he had
ffotfeen one Minute {or fiveral Tears, wherein /he deftred to
live one Minute longer, for the fake of any other Good in
Life, hut doing Good/ivin^ to Gsd^ and doin^ what might be
far hii. Glory, -
c/M. David Bralnerd. A.D. 1747. 253
Kificd, that he expcdcd to die that Night ; but feem'd to fear
a longer Delay : and the Difpofition of his Mind with Regard
to Death appeared ftiH the fame that it had been all along. And
notwithftanding his bodily Agonies, yet the Intercft ofZion lay
ftill with great Weight on his Mind ; as appeared by fome con-
fiderablc Difcourfe he had that Evening 1 with the Rev. Mr.
Biilms^ cnc of the neighbouring Minifters (who was then pre^
fent) concerning the great Importance of the Work of theMi-
niftry, Iffc, And afterwards, when it was very late in theNight,
he had much very proper and profitable Difcourfe with his
Brother yohn^ concerning his Congregation in l^ew-Jerfefydn^
the Intereft of Religion among the Indians, In the latter Pars
of the Night, his bodily Diftrefs feemed to rife to a greater
Height than ever ; and he faid to thofe then about him, that //
was another Thing io die, than People imagined 5 explaining him-
felf to mean that they were not aware what bodily Pain and An-
guifli is undergone before Death. Towards Day,his Eyes fix'd ;
and he continued lying immovable, 'till about 6 o'CJock in the
Morning, and then expired, on Friday, O^ob, 9. 1747. whea
hisSouljas we may well conclude,was received by his dear Lord
and Mafter, as an eminently faithful Servant, into that State of
Perfection ofHolinef9,andFruition ofGod, which he had fo often
and fo ardently longed for ; and was welcom'd by the glorious
AfTembly in the upper World, as one peculiarly fitted to join
them in their bleiled Employments and Enjoyments.
Much Refped was fhewn to bis Memory at his Funeral ;
which was on the Monday following, after a Sermon preach/d
the fame Day, on that folemn Occafion. His Funeral was at-
tended by eight of the neighbouring Minifters, and feventceb
other Gentlemen of liberal Education, and a great Concourf«?
of People.
^m ®®3J®®® ®®®®^®®®:€^®® ®aj® § ®®®®
Som-
f5t?^,?^t^?'^^.
"^-^m^^nm^jii^^^mm^^t'iw^n^
254 The LIFE
Some further REMAINS of the Rev,
Mr. David Brainerd.
[I.] A Scheme of a Dialogue between the wznou^Powers
and /iffeEiions of the Mind, as they are found alter-
nately whiipcring in the godly SouL [Mentioned in his-
Dwr;', Feb. 3, 1744.]
I. ^nr^HE Vnder/ianding introduced, (i) As difcovering it'sr
I own Excellency, and Capacity of enjoying the moft
-^A- fublime Pleafure and Happinefs. (2) As obferving
it's Defire eq'ual to it's Capacity, and incapable of being fatisfi-
ed with any Thing that will not fill it in the utmoftExtent of it's
Exetcife. ( 3 ) As finding it felt a dependent Thing, not Self-
fufHcient ; and confequently unable to fpin Happinefs ( as the
Spider fpins it*s Web) out of it's own Bowels. This Self-fuffi-
ciency obferved to be the Property and Prerogative of GOD
alone, and not belonging to any created Being. ( 4 ) As in vain
ieeking fublime Pleafure, Satisfa6lion,and Happinefs adequate to
it's Nature, amongft created Beings. The Search and Know-
ledge of the Truth in the natural World allowed indeed to be rc-
I'refiiing to the Mind ; but iWW failing toafi'ord compleat Hap-
pinefs. (5) As difcovering the Excellency and Glory of GOD,
that he is the Fountain of Goodnefs, and Well-Spring of Happi-
nefs, and every Way fit to anfvver the enlarged Defires and Crav-
ings of our immortal Souls.
2. The Will introduced, as nccefiarily, yet freely chufing
this GOD for it's fupreme Happinefs and only Portion, fully
complyingwith theUnderffanding'sDi£tates,acquiefcing inGOD
as the belt Go.od, his Will as the belt Rule for intelligent Crea-
tures, and rejoicing that GOD is in every Rcfpc6l juft what he
is ; and withal chufing and delighting to be a dependent Crea-
ture, always fubjed to this GOD, not afplring afterSclf-fuffict-
cAcy aad Suprc/nacy, h\x\ acqui^fciiig ill ihs ceaUary.
3» hl^^^X
of Mr. David Brainerdi 255
3. Ardent Love ox Vefire introduced, as paflionately longing
to pleafe and glorify the Divine Being, to be in every Refpeft
conformed to him, and in that Way to enjoy him. This Love
or Defire reprefented as moft genuine ; not induced by mean
and mercenary Views; not primarily Springing from felfifh
Hopes of Salvation, whereby the divine Glories would be Sacri-
!ficed to the Idol Self ; not arifmg from a llavifh Fear of Divine
Anger in Cafe of NegledV, nor yet from Hopes of feeling the
Sweetnefs of that tender and pleafant Pailicn of Love in one's
ownBreall; but from a juftEfteem of the beauteousObjed belov-
ed. This Love further reprefented, as attended with vehement
Longings after the Enjoyment of it's Objedl, but unable to find
by what Means.
4. The Underjianding again introduced, as informing(r.)Hovv
God might have been enjoyed, yea, how hemuft necefTarily have
been enjoyed, had not Man fm*d againft him ; that as there was
Knowledge ^Likenejs^zn^Love^{o there mufl needs beEnjoyment,
while there was no Impediment. (2.) How he may be en-
joyed in fome Meafure now, vi%. by the fame Knowledge be-
getting Likenefi and Lovt^ which will be anfwer'd with Returns
of Love^ and the Smiles of God's Countenance, which are
better than Life. ( 3. ) How .God may be perfetSlly en-
joyed, vtz. by the Soul's perfedt Freedom from Sin. This
perfe£l Freedom never obtain'd 'till Death ; and then not by
any unaccountable Means, or in any unheard-of Manner ; but
the fame by which it has obtain'd fome'Likenefs to andFruition
of God in thisWorld, viz. a clear Manifeflation of him. .
5. Holy Defire appears, and enquires why the Soul may not
be perfectly holy ; and fo perfecSl in theEnjoymentofGod here ;
and exprefles molt infatiableThirftinga after fucha Temper, and
fuch Fruition, and moft confummate BlefTednefs.
6. Under [landing again appears, and informs, that God
defigns that thofe whom he fan6tifics in Part here, and intends
for immortalGIory,fhall tarry a while in this prefent evilWorld,
that their own Experience of Temptations ^c, may teach 'em
how great the Deliverance is, which God bas wrought for 'em,
that they may be fwallowed up in Thankfulnefs and Admira-
tion toEternity ; as alfo that they may be inftrumental of doing
Good to their Fellow-Men. Now if they u-ere perfedly
holy i^c, a World of Sin would not be a fit Habitation for
them : and further, fuch Manifeftations of God as are necelTary
compleatly to fandify the Soul, would be infupportable to the
Body, fo that we can't fee God and live,
L 1 7. Holy
2^6 The LIFE
7 Hdly Impatience is next introduced jComplaining of thcSIns
and Sorrows of Life, and almoft repining at the Diftance of a
State of Perfection, uneafy to fee and feel the Hours hang (o
dull and heavy, and almofl concluding that the Temptations,
Hardfhips, Difappointments,Impcrfe<5tionr, and tediousEmploy-
inents of Life will never come to a happy Period.
8. Tender Confcience comes in, and meekly reproves the
Complaints of Impatience ; urging how careful and watchful we
ought to be, left we fhould oiFend the divine Being with Com-
plaints ; alledging alfo the Fitnefs of our waiting patiently upon
God for all we want, and that in a Way of doing and fufFering;
and at the fame Time mentioning the Barrennefsof the Soul,
how much precious Time it mifimproved, and how little it has
enjoyed of God, compared with what it might have done ; as
alio fuggefling how frequently impatient Complaints fpring
frcm nothing better than Self-love, want of Refignation, and
a greater Reverence of the Divine Being.
9. Judgment OT found Mind ntxt z^^td^xs^ and duly weighs-
ihe Complaints of Impatience, and the gentle Admonitions of
tender Confcience^ and impartially determines between 'em. On
the one hand, it concludes, that we may always be impatient
with Sin ; and fuppofer, that we may alfo with fuch Sorrow,
Pain, and Difcouragement, as hinder our Purfuitof Holinefs,
tho' they arife from the weaknefsof Nature. It allows us to
be impatient of the Diftance at which we ftand fipm a State
of Perfeftion and Blefiednefs. It further indulges Impatience
at the Delay of Time, when we deiire the Period of it for no
other End than that we may with Angels be employed in the
mofl lively fpiritual A6ls of Devotion, and in giving all polTible
Glory to him that lives forever. Temptations and finful Im-
perfe6tions, it thinks we may juftly be uneafy with ; and Dif-
appointments, at leafl thofe that relate to our Hopes of Com-
munion with God, and growing Conformity to him. And as
to the tedious Employments and Hardfliips of Life, it fuppofes
feme Longin2; for the End of 'em not inconfiftent with a Spirit
of FaithfulneTs, and a chearful Difpofition to perform the ore
and endure the other : It fuppofes, that a faithful Servant, vho
fully defigns to do all he poiribly can, may ftiil jufUy long for
theEvening ; and that no rationalMan would blame his kind and
tender vSpoufcJf he perceived her longing to be with him, while
yetFaithfulnefs &:Duty to him might fiill induce her to yield, for
the prefent, to remain at a painful Diftance from him. — On
the other Hand, it approves of theCaution, Care and Watchful-
fiefg
ef Mr. David Brainerd. 257
ncfs offender Cen/cience^le^ thcDivine Being fhould be offended
with impatient Complaints : It acknowledges theFitnefsof our
waiting upon God, in a Way of patient doing and fufFering ; But
fuppofes this very confiftent with ardent Defires to depart and to
h with Chriji* It owns it fit that we fhould always remember
our own Barrennefs,and thinks alfo that we fhould be impatient
of it, and confequently long for a State of Freedom from it ;
and this, not fo much that we may feel the Happinefs of it, but
that God may have the Glory. It grants, that impatient Com-
plaints often fpring from Self-love, and Want of Rcfignation and
Humility. Such as thefe it difapproves ; and determines, we
fhould be impatient only of Abfence from God,& Diflanct from
that State and Temper wherein we may moft glorify him.
10. Godly Sorrow introduced, as makir^g her fad Moan, not
fo much that fhe is kept from the free Pofleffion and full Enjoy-
ment of Happinefs, but that God muft be difhonoured j the
Soul being fiill in a World of Sin, and itfelf imperfcd. She
here, with Grief, counts over paft Faults, prefent Temptations,
and Fears for the future.
11. Hope or holy Confidence ^^^^^2^x5, and feems perfwaded
that nothing fnall ever fepar ate the Soul from the Love of God in
Chrijl Jsfus. It expedls divine Affiftance and Grace fufficient
for all the doing and fufFering- Work of Time, and that Death
will ere long put a happy Period to all Sin and Sorrow > and
fo takes Occafion to rejoyce.
12. Godly Fear, ox holy Jealoufy here fleps in, and fuggef!s
feme timorous Apprehenfions of the Danger of Deception ;
mentions the Deccitfulnefs of the Heart, the great Influence of
irregular Self- Love in a fallen Creature ; enquires whether it
felf is not likely to have fallen in with Delufion, fince the Mind
is fo dark, and fo little of GOD appears to the Soul ; and que-
ries whether all it's Hopes of perfevering Grace mayn't bePre-
fumption, and whether it's confident Expedations of meeting
Death as a B^iend, mayn't ifTue in Difappointment.
13. Hereupon, ^^^^/<7« appears, and minds the Perfon of
his paft Experiences ; as to the preparatory Work of Convidti-
on and Humiliation ; TheView he thrn had of the Impoflibility
of Salvation, from himfqlf, or any created Arm : TheManifefla-
tion he has hkewife had of the Glory of GOD in Jefu: Chri/i :
How he then admired that Glory, and chofe that GOD for his
only Portion, becaufe of the Excellency and Amiablenefs he dif-
covered in him ; not from flavifh Fear of being damned, if he
did not, nor from bafc and mercenary Hopes of faving himrelf;
L 1 2 bat
258 The hlFE
bat from a juft Efteem of that beauteoas and glorious ObJ€(£F:
As alfo how he had from Time toTime rejoyced and acqaiefced
in GOD, for what he is in himfelf ; being delighted, thai he is
infinite in Holincfs, Juftice, Power, Sovereignty, as well as in
Mercy, Goodnefs and Love : How he has iikewifc , Scores of
Times, felt his Soul mourn for Sin, for this very Reafon,becaufe
it is contrary and grievous to GOD ; yea, how he has mourned
over one vain and impertinent Thought, when he has been fo
far from Fear cf the divine vindidtive Wrath for it, that on the
Contrary he has enjoyed the higheft Affurance of the divine cver-
lafting Love : How he has, from Time to Time, delighted in
the Commands of God, for their own Purity and Perfedlion,
and longed exceedingly to be conformed to 'cm, and even to be
holy as GOD ii holy ; and counted it prefent Heaven, to be of
a heavenly Temper : How he has frequently rejoyced, to think
of being for ever fubje6l to, & dependent on GOD ; account-
ing it infinitely greater Happiijefs to glorify God in a State of
Sabjed:ion to, and Dependence on him, than to be a god him-
felf ; and how Heaven it felf would be no Heaven to him, if he
could hot there be every Thing thatGOD would have him be.
14. Upon this, Spiritual SenJationhQ\i\g2iVf2ikQ6^ comzs lily
and declares that She now feels U taftes that theLord is gracious^
that he is the onlyfupreme Good, the only Soul-fatisfying Hap-
pinefs ; that he is acompleat, felf-fufficient, and almighty Por-
tion. She whifpers. Whom have 1 in Heaven but this GOD,
i^.$ dear and blelFed Portion j ana there is none upon Earth I defire
befides him. Oh, *tisHeaven,to pleafehmand to bejuft wbat^
be would have me be ! O that my Soul were boly,asGodis holy f*
O that it was pure^ as Chriji is pure ; and perfe£f as my Father in
, Heaven isperfecl. Thefe are the fweeteft Commands in God's
Book, comprizing all others j and (hall I break *em ? Muft I
'break' 'cm ? Am 1 under a fatal NccefTity of it, as long as I live
in this VV(>rld ? Oh my Soul ! Wo, Wo is me, that I am a
Sinner ! Bccaufe I now neccfiarily grieve and ofFcnd this blcfTed
GOD, who is infinite in Goodnefs and Grace. Oh,methinks,
fhould he pimifh me for my Sins, it would not wound myHeart
fo deep to ofF^nd him ; But, iho* 1 fin continually, he continu-
ally repeats his KmdntTs towards me ! Oh, methinks I could
b'iar any SufFerincy ; hut how can 1 bear to grieve and difhonouc
this bLfTed C^od ! f^ow fiiall f give ten^Thoufand Tin^s more
Hr>nour to him? What fliall I do, to glorify and wofitiip this
befi of Beings ? O that 1 could confecrate my feU,Soul andBo.dy,
to his Service for ever. O that I could give up my felf to hiniv
iff Mr. David Brainerd, 259
fo as never more to attempt to be my own, or to have any Will
or AfFedlions that are not perfedlly conformed to his. But Oh
Alas, Alas ! I can*!, I feel I -can't, be thus entirely devoted to
GOD : I can't live and fm not. O yevf/z^^/i,do ye glorify him
incefTantly : If poflible,exert your felves ftiJi more, in more live-
ly and ardent Devotion : If poflible, proftrate your felves ftill
lower before the Throne of the blefTed King of Heaven :' I long
to bear a Part with you, and if it were poffible, to help you.
Yet when we have done, we (hall not be able to ofFer the ten
Thoufandth Part of the Homage he is worthy of. While /j&ir/-
tual Senfation whifpered thefe Things, Fear and Jealoufy were
greatly overcome ; and the Soul replied, A^cw 1 know ^ and am
ojfured^ &c. and again it welcom'd Death as a Friend, faying,
O Deaths where is thy Stingy Sec,
15. Finally, Boly Re/olui ion concludes the Dlfcourfe, fixedly
determining io follow hard afterGOD^znd continually to purfue
a Life of Conformity to him. And the better to purfue this,en-
joining it on the Soul always to remember, that God is the on-
ly fource of Happinefs, that his Will is the only Rule of Re£li-
t^dc to an intelligent Creature, that Earth has nothing in it
deferable for it felf,orany further than GOD is feen in it j a.nd
that the Knowledge of God in Chrift, begetting and maintain-
ing Love, and mortifying fenfual and flefhly Appetites, is the
Way to be holy on Earth,; and fo to be attempered to the com-
pleat Holinefs of the heavenly World.
[II. ] Somt gloomy zn^ defponding Thoughts of a Soul
under ConviSions of Sin^ and Concern for it's eter-
nal Salvation.
I. T Believe, my Cafe h finz^ular^ that none ever had fo many
* ftrange and different Thoughts and Feelings as I.
2. I have been concern'd much longer than many others^ that
I have known or read of, who have been favingly converted^ and
yet I am left.
3. I have withflood the Power of ConviSiiom a longTime,and
therefore I fear, I fhall be finally Xtit of God.
4. I never (hall be converted, without (ironger Convidlions,
and greater Terr on of Confcience.
5* f don*r^im at the Glory of Goi> in any Thing I do, and
ifesrefore I Wn't hope for Mercy.
*" '■ n. The
26o r^^ L I F E
6. I don't fee the Evil Nature of Ji/r, nor the Sin of my N<?-
iure ; and therefore I am difcouraged.
7. The more IJirive, the moie blind and hard my Heart is,
and the worfe I grow continually.
g. I fear, God never {hew*d Mtrcy to one Co vile as I.
9. I fear, I ^mnoieleSfedy and therefore muft pcrifli.
10. I fear, the Day of Grace i^paji with me.
11. I fear, I have committed the unpardonable Sin.
12. lam an 0/^ Sinner ; and if God had defigned Mercy for
mc, he would have called me Home to himfclf before now*
[ III. ] Some Signs of Godlinefs.
The diftinguilhing Marks of a trueChriliiatty taken from
one of my old Manufcripts ; where I wrote as /
felt and experienced^ and not from any conftdcrablc
Degree of dodrinal Knowledge, or Acquaintance
with the Sentiments of others in this Point.
I. T1 E has a true KnowUige of the Glory and Excellency of
•"■ God, that he is moft worthy to be loved and praifcd
for his own divine Perfections. Pfal. CXLV. 3.
2. God is his Portion. Pfal. LXXIII. 25. An4 God's
Glory^ his great Concern. Matth. VI. 22.
3. Holinefs is his Delight ; nothing he io much longs for^as to
be holy, as God is holy. PhiL III. 9, 12.
4. Sin is his greateft Enemy. This he hates, for it's own
Nature, for what it is in it felf, being contrary to a holy GOD.
yer. 11. I. And confequently he hates all Sin. Rom. ^IL 24,
I Job. III. 9.
5. The Laws of GOD alfo are his Delight. P/al.CXlX.gy.
Ran. VII. 22. Thefebeobferves, not out of Conftraint, fron\
a fervile Fear of Hell ; but they are hisChoice. Pfal.CXlX.'^o.
The ftri(Sl Obfervance of them is not his Bondage, J?ut his great-
eft Liberty, v^r. 45,
flV.] LETTERS^
of Mr. David Brainerd. 261
t IV. ] LETTERS, written liy Mr. Brainerd to
his Friends.
ADVERTISEMENT.
MR. Brainerd had a largeAcquaintance and Correfpondence,
efpecially in the latter Part of his Life, and he did much
at writing Letters to his abfentFriends ; but the moft of his Ac-
quaintance living at a great Diftance from me, I have not beea
able to obtain Copies of many that he wrote : However, the
greater Part of thofe which I have fcen,are fuch as appear to me
of profitable Tendency-, and worthy of the publick View : I
have therefore here added a few of his Letters.
N. B. Several of thefe which follow, are not publifhcd at
large, becaufe fome Parts of them were concerning particular
Affairs of a private Nature.
No. I. To his Brother 'John, then a Student at TaU'CoUege
in New- Haven,
Kaunaumeek, April 30. 1743.
Dear Brother,
T Should teil you, / long to fee ycu^ but that my ownExperience
■^ has taught me, there is no Happinefs, & picnarySatisfadlion
to be enjoyed, in earthly Friends ^iho' ever fo near and dear, or
in any other Enjoyment, that is not God himfelf. Therefore,
if the God of all Grace would be pleafed gracioufly to afford us
each his Prefence and Grace^ that we may perform the Work,
and endure the Trials he calls us to, in a moft diflreiTing tire-
fome Wiidernefs, 'till we arrive at our Journey's End ; the lo-
cal Diftance, at which we are held from each other at the pre-
fent, is a Matter of no great Moment or Importance to either of
lis. But Alas ! The Prefence of God is wha!:I want. — •
I live in ihe moft lonely melancholvD^/^r/, about 18 Miles from
Albany (for it v^tas not thought belt that I fhould go to Delaware-
River, 23 I believe 1 hinted to you in a Letter from New-York.)
I board with a poor Scotch- Adan : His Wife can talk fcarce any
Englijh, My Diet confifts moflly of Harty-Pudding,boirdCorn,
and Bread baked in the Aflies, and fomctimes a little Meat and
Butter. My Lodging \s a llttlfe Heap of Scraw, laid upon feme
Boards, a little Way from the Ground : Fcr it is a Log-Room^
_ without
262 TZ»^ L I F E
without any Floor, that I lodge in. My PTork is exceeding
hard and difficult : I travel on Foot a. Mile and half, the ^orft
of Way, ajmoft daily, and back again ; for I live (o far from
rny Indians.' I have not feen an Engii/h Perfon thisMonth. —
Thefe, and many otherCircumftances, as uncomfortable,attend
me ; and yet my fpiritualConJliSis and DiflreJJes fo far exceed 2M
thefe, that i fcarce think of them, or hardly mind but that I
am entertain'd in the mofl fumptuous Manner. The Lord
grant ihatl may learn to endure Hardnejs^ai a goodSoidier of Jesvs
Christ. As to my Succefs here, I can't fa> much as yet :
The Indians faem generally kind, and well difpofed towards me,
and are moftly very atteotive to my Inflrudtions, and feem
willing to be taught further: Two or three, I hope, are under
fome Convi^ions ; But there feems to be little of the fpecial
Workings of the divine Spirit among them yet ; which gives
xne many a Heart-finking Hour. Sonletimes I hope, God has
abundant Blefiings in Store for them and me ;**but at other
Times I am fo over- whelmed with Diftrefs, that I can't fee how
his Dealings with me are confittent with Covenant- Love and
Faithfulnefs, and I fay, Surely his tender Mercies are clean gone
for ever.' —But hov/ever, I fee, I needed all this Chajiifement
already : 'Tis good forme, that I have endured thefe Trials, and
have hitherto little or no apparent Succefs. Don't be difcou-
raged by my DiftrefTes : I was under great Diflrefs, at Mr.
Pomroy^s^ when I faw you laft ; but God has been with me of a
Truth, fince that : He helped me fometimes fweetly at Long-
Jfland, and elfewhere. But let us always remember, that we
muft through much Tribulation enter mto God's eternal Kingdom
of Reft and Peace; The Righteous are fiarcely faved : Tis an
infinite Wonder, that we have well-grounded Hopes of being
faved at all. For my Part, I feel the moft vile of any Creature
living ; and I am fure fometimes, there is not fuch another ex-
ifting on this Side HelL Now, all you can do for me, is, to
pray incefTantly, that God would make me humble, holy, rc-
figned, and heavenly-minded., by all my Trials. Bejirong
in the Lord, and in the Power of his Might. Let us run, wre/ile
^u^ fight, that we may win the Prize, and obiaift that compleat
Happinefs, to be Holy as God is Holy. So, wifhing and praying
that you may advance in Learning and Grace, and be fit for
fpecial Service for God, I remain
Ygur afFei^ionate Brother.
/). Braintrd,
ef Mr, David BraincrdJ 2^j?
No. 2. To his Brother John, at Yak-College in New-Haven.
kaunaumeek, D^c^m^^r 27. lyA-?.
Dear Brother, ^ ^^*^
I Long to fee you, and know how you fare in your Journey
thro' a World of inexprefTible Sorrow, where we are com-
pafsM about with Vanity^ Confufton2Lndi Fexation of Spirit, I am
mors weary of Life, I think, than ever I was. The whole IForld
appears to me like a huge Vacuum^ a vaft empty Space, whence
nothing defirable,or at leaft fatisfa£tory,can poffibly be derived ;
and I long, daily to die more and more to it ; even tho* I ob-
tain not that Comfort from fpiritual Things, which I earneftly
defire. Worldly PJeafures, fuch as flow from Greatnefs, Riches,
Honours, & fenfualGratifications,are infinitely worfe than none.
May the Lord deliver us more and more from thefe Vanities, I
have fpent moft of the Fall and Winter hitherto in a very weak
State of Body ; and fometimcs under preffing inward Trials
and fpiritual Conflids : but having obtained Help from God, 1
continue to this Day ; and am now fometbing better in Health,
than I was fometime ago. I find nothing more conducive to
a Life of Chri/iianity, than a diligent, induftrious and faithful
Improvement of precious Time, Let us then faithfully per-
form that Bufmefs, which is allotted to us by divineProvidencc,
to the utmoft of our bodily Strength, and mentalVigour. Why
(hould we rink,and grow difcouragedjWith any particularTrials,
and Perplexities, we are called to encounter in the World I
Death and Eternity are juft before us ; a few toiling Billows?
more will waft us into the World of Spirits, and we hope (thro"
infinite Grace ) into endlefs Pleafures, and uninterrupted Reft
and Peace. Let us then run with Patience the Race fet before us^
Hcb. xii. I, 2. And Oh that we could depend more upon the
living GOD, and lefs upon our own Wifdom and Strength.- — •
Dear Brother, may the God of all Grace comfort your Heart,
and fucceed your Studies, and make you an Inftrument of Good
to his People in your Day, This is the conftant Prayer of
Your afFedlionate Brother :
David Brainerd.
No. 3. To his Brother Ifrael, at Haddam,
Kaunaumeeky<j«. 21. 1743,4
My Dear Brother,
TPHere is but one Thing, that defervesour hlgheft
Care and mofl ardent Defires ; and that is, that
Wcmay anfyyer the great^^(^,for which wc were made ; vi%.t<%
M m g^'i^^fy
^■-
254 ^he LIFE
glorify that God, who has given us ourBeings and all ourCom-
forts, and do all the GW, we pofiibly can, to our Fellow-Men,
while we live in the World : And verily Life is not worth the
having, if it be not improved for this noble End and Purpofe*
Yet, '^las, how little is this thdlight of among Mankind ! Moft
Men Teem to live to therrifelves^ without much Regard to the
Glory of God, or the Good of their Fellow-Creatures; ihey
earneftly derire,and eagerly purfue after theRiches,theHonoufS,
and the Pieafures of Life, as if they really fuppofed, thatWealth,
or Greatnefs, or Merriment, could make their immortal Souls
happy. Bur, alas, what falfe and delufive Dreams are thefe !
And howMiferable will thofe ere long be, who are not awaked
out of them, to fee, that all their Happinefs confifls in living to
GcD, and becoming holy as he is holy ! Oh, may you never fall
into the Tempers and Vanities,* the Senfuality and Folly of the
prefent World. You aie, by divine Providence, left as it were
tf/fl?;^ in a wide World, to a6l for your felf : Be fure then to
remember, 'tis a World of Temptation, You have no earthly
Parents to be the Means of forming your Youth to Piety and
Vcrtue, by their pious Examples, and feafonableCounfels 5 Let
this then excite you with greater Diligence and Fervency to
look up to the Father of Mercies for Grace andAffiftance againft
all the Vanities of theWorld. And if you would glorify God,
anfwer his juft ExpecSlations from you, and make your own
Soul happy in this and the coming World, obferve thefe few
Directions ; tho' not from a Father, yet from a Brother wh*
is toucb'd with a tender Concern for your prefent and fiiturq
Happinefs. And,
Flr/l^ refolvc upon, and daily endeavour to prailife a
Life of Serioufnefs and Itrid Sobriety, The wife Man will tell
yoa the great Advantage of fucha Life, Ecclef. vii. 3. Think of
theLife of Chr ist ; and when you can find that he was pleas'd
with jelling and vain Merriment, then you may indulge it in
your felf.
Jgain, be careful to make a good Improvement of precious
Time. VViien you ceal'e from Labour, fill up your 7"imc in
Reading, Meditation, & Prayer: And while your Hands are la-
bouring, let your Heart be employed, as much as poiTible, in
divine Thoughts.
Further^ take Heed that you faithfully perform the Bufincfs
you have to do in the VVorld, from a Regard to the Commt^ds
of God ; and not from an- ambitious defire of being edeenisd
better ihaa others. Wcfliould always look upon our felvcs aS/
G0D'$
Ik
<?/ Mr. David Brainerd. 265
GOD's Servants, placed in GOD's World, to Jo his Work j
and accordingly labour faithfully for him ; not with a Deiiga
to grow rich and great, butjK) glorifyGOD,and do all theGood
we pofTibly can.
Jgain, Never expe<5l any Safisfa^ion or Happinefs from the
T^orld. If you hope for Happinefs Z;? the VVorld, hope for it
from God, and not from the World. Don*t think you fhall
be more happy^ if you live to fuch or fuch a State of Life, if
you live to be for your felf, to be fettled in the World, or if
you fliould gain anEftate in it : but look upon it that you TnaU
then be happy ^ when you can be conftanily employ'd forGOD,
and not for your fclf ; and defire to hvc in this World, only
to do and Juffer what GOO allots to you. VVhen you can be
of the Spirit and Temper oi Angels^ who are willing to come
down into this lower World, to pcfform what God commands
them, tho' their Defircs are heavenly^ and not in the leaft fee on
earthly Things, then you will be of that Temper that you
ought to have. Col. HI. 2.
Once more. Never think that you can live to GOD bvy^«r
cwn Power or Strength ; but always look to, and r^ly on him
for AfTiftance, yea, for all Strength and Grace. There is no
greater Truth, than this, That we can do nothing, of our [elves ;
Joh. XV. 5. and 2 Cor. iii. 5. Yet nothing but our own Expe-
rience can efFedually teach it to us. Indeed we are a long
I'lme in learning, that tf/ZourStrength and Salvation is inGOD.
This is a Life, that I think v\o unconverted Man can poilib.V
live ; and yet it is aLife that every godly Soul is preffing after',
in fome good Meafure. Let it then be your great Concern, thus
to devote your lelf and your all to GOD.
I long to fee you, that I may fay much more to you than I
now can, for your Benefit and Welfare ; but 1 defire to com-
mit you to, and leave you with the Father of Mercies, and
God of all Grace ', praying that you maybe directed fifcly
ihro' an evil IVorid, to GOD*s heavenly Kingdom,
1 am your affectionate loving Brother,
David Brainerd.
No. 4. To a fpecial Friend.
The Forks of Delaware, July 31. 1744.
— — r^Ertainly the greateft, the noble/i Pleafure of intelligent
^^ Creatures muft refult from their Acquaintance with the
WefTcd GOD, and with their own rational and immortalSouls*
M m 2 Ani
266 TbehlFE
And Oh, how divinely fweet and entertaining is it, to look in-
lo our own Souls, when we can find all our Powers andPafliona
united and eogaged in Purfuit a|pr GOD, our whole Souls
longing and paffionatcly breathing after a Conformity to him,
and the fuilEnjoymentof him ! Verily there are no Hours pafs
away with fo much divine Pleafure, as thofe that arc fpent in
Communing withGOD and our ownHearts. Oh, how fweet
is a Spirit of Devotion, a Spirit of Serioufnefs and divineSolem-
nity, a Spirit of Gofpel-Simpllcity, Love, Tendernefs ! Oh,
how derirable,andhow profitable to the Chriftian Life, is aSpi-
rit of hoiyVVatchfulnefsj&godlyJealoufy over ourfelves; when
our Souls are afraid of nothing fo much as that we (hall grieve
and offend the blefrcdGOD,whom at fuchTimeswe apprehend,
or at leaft hope, to be a Father and Friend ; whom we then
love and long to p/eafe, rather than to be happy our felves, oi at
leafl we delight to derive our Happinefs from pleafing and glo-
rifying him ! Surely this is a pious Temper, worthy of the
higl)e(t Ambition and clofeft Purfuit of intelligent Creatures
and holy Chriflians. Oh, how vaftly fuperiour is thePleafure,
Peace, and Satisfaction derived from thefe divine Frames, to
that which we ( alas ) fometimes purfuein Things impertinent
and triflino; j Oar own bitter Experience teaches us, that in
the midfi of fuch Laughter the Heart is forr awful, and there |s
no trueSatisfaCtion but inGOD. But, alas ! How fhall we ob-
tain and retain this fweet Spirit of Religion and Devotion ?
Let us follow the Apoftle's Direction, PhiL ii. 12. and labour
^upon the Encouragement he there mentions ver. 13. Foj *tis
GOD only can afF.rd us this Favour; and he will he fought
io^ and 'tis fit we fhould wait upon him for fo rich a Mercy,
Oh, may the (jOD of allGrace afFjrd us the Grace and influ-
ences ot hrs divine Spirit ; and help us that we may from our
Hearts efleem it our greateft Liberty andHappinefs, that whe-
ihirwe live, we rnay live to the LORD, or ivhether we die, we
mujf die to the LORD ; that in Life andDeath we may he his.
I am in a very poor State of Health j i think, fcarce ever
poorer ; Bur, thro' divme GoodneT ; I atii not difcontented
unlci my Weaknefs, and Confinement to this Wildernefs : I
blefs GOD for .iliis Retirement : 1 never was more thankful
for any rhiog, than I have been of late for theNeceffity 1 am
under of SelfTdeiiial in many Refpe6ls : I love to be a Pilgrim
, and Stranger in this VVjldernefs : It feems molt fit for fuch-a
pour ign oiant, v.^orihiefs, defpifed Creature as f. I would not
Chang* my prcfent Mifft(.n loi any other Bufinefsin the whoie:
ef Mr. David BralnerdJ 267
World. I may tell you freely, without Vanity and Oftenta-
tion, GOD has of late given me great Freedom and Fervency
in Prayer, when 1 have bee%fo weak and feeble, my Nature
feem*d as if it would fpeedily diflblve. I feel as if my all was
lo(t, and I was undone for this World, if the poor Heathen
mayn't be converted. I feel, in general, different from what
I did, when 1 faw you laft ; at leaft naore crucified to all theEn-
joyments of Life. It would be very refrefhing to me, to fee you
here in thisDefert ; efpecially in my weak difconfolate Hours:
But, I think, 1 could be content never to fee you, or any of
my Friends again in this World, if GOD would blefi my La-
bours here to the Converfion of the poor Indians,
I have much that 1 could willingly communicate to you,
which I muft omit, 'till Providence gives us Leave ta fee each
other. In the mean Time, I reft
Your obliged Friend and Servant,
David Br ai nerd.
No. 5. To a fpecial Friend, a Minifter of the Gofpel in
NeW'Jerfey,
The Forks of D^AsK/flr^, Decemb. 24. 1744.
Rev. and dear Brother,
— T Have little to fay to you, about fpiritual ^m, and thofe
J- bleffcd Refrejbment', & divine Confolations, v/ith which I
have been much faveuf'd inTimespaft : But this lean tellyou,
that if I gainExperience in no other Point, yet I am fure I do in
this, viz. That iht prefeni World has nothing in it to Jatisfy an
immortal Soul ; and hence, that it is not to be defired for it felf^
but only becaufe GOD may ht feen & fervedm it : And I wifti
I could be more patient & willing to live in it for /^/V^W, than
I can ufually find my felf to be. 'Tis no Vertue, I know, to
defire Death, only to be freed from the Miferies of Life : But
I want that divine HOPE, which you obferved, when I faw you
Jaft, was the very Sinnews of vital Religion. Earth can do us
no Good, and if there be no HOPE of our doing Good onEarth,
how can we defire to live in it ? And yet we ought to defire,or
at leaft to be refign'd, to tarry in it ; becaufe 'fis the Will of
our alwife Sovereign. But perhaps thefe Thoughts will appear
melancholy and gloomy, and confequently will be very unde-
firable to you ; and rherefore 1 forbear to add. I wifh, you
mayn't read them in the fame Circumftances in which { write
ihem. I have a little more to do and fuffer in a dark dirconfoiate
%VorId
268 «^ L I F E
World ; and then I hope to be as happy as you are. .r I
(hould afk you to pray for me, were I worth your Concern.
Mzy the Lord enable us both to iitjlfltre Hardnefs as good Soldiert
i>/ Jesus Christ ; and may we obtain Mercy of God to h
faithjuly to the Death, in the Difchargc of our refpe<StiveTruft$,
I am your very unworthy Brother,
and humble Servant,
Dav* Brainerd.
No. 6. To his Brother John, at College.
Crofweekfung^ in New-Jerfey, Decern. 28. 1745.
Very dear Brother,
— T Am in one continued, perpetual, and uninterrupted
-*- Hurry ; and divine Providence throws fo much upon
me,that I don't fee it will ever be otherwife. May I ohtainMercy
of GOD to be faithful ^to the Death. 1 can't fay, I am weary of
my Hurry ; I only want Strength and Grace to do more for
GOD, than I have ever yet done.
My dear Brother, ^The LORD «/ Heaven, that has carried
me thro' many Trials, hlefi you ; blefs you for Time, andEter-
nity; and fit you to do Service for him in his Church below,
and to enjoy his blifsfulPrefence in hisChurch triumphant. My
Brother, the Time is Jhort : Oh, let us fill it up for GOD: Let
us count the Sufferiv,gi of this prefent Time as nothing, if we can
but run our Race, and finifi our Courfe with Joy. Oh, let us
firive to live to GOD. I blefs the Lord, I have nothing to do
with Earth, but only to labour honeftly in it for GOD, 'till I
fhall accompli fl) as an Hireling my Day. I think, I don't defire
to live one Minute for any Thin? that Earth can afFord. Oh,
that I could live for none but GOD, 'till my dying Moment.
1 am your afFecSionate Brother,
^ . D. Brainerd,
No. 7. To his Brother Jfraely then a Student at Yale-Collegf
in New Haven.
EliJaheth-Town^lSleW'JerJey^QV. 24. 1746.
Dear Brother,
Had determined to make you and my other Friends in ISJew
£ rg land a V lilt, this Fall ; partly from an earneft Defire I
had to fee you and them, and partly with a View to the Reco-
very of my Health ; which has, for more than three Months
psf^ been much impair 'd. And in Order to profecute this D^
figny
I
of Mr. David Brainerd.' ^^^
fign, I fct out from my own People about three Weeks ago,
and came as far as to this Place ; where, my Diforder greatly
increafing, I have been obliged to keep Houfe ever fince,untii
the Day before Yefterday ; at which Time, I was able to ride
about half a Mile, but found my felf much tired with the Jour-
ney. I have now no Hopes of profecuting my Journey into
A^. England this Winter, fuppofing my prefent State of Health
wiir by no Means admit of it : Aliho' I am thro' divine Good-
nefs much better than I was fomeDays ago, yetl han'tStrength
now to ride more than ten Miles a Day, if the Seafon were
warm,& fit for me to travel in. My Diforder has been attended
with feveral Symptoms of a Confumption ; and I have been at
Times apprehenfive, that my great Change was at Hand : Yet
blefTed be GOD, I have never been affrighted-, but on the
contrary, at feme Times much delighted with a View of it's
Approach. Oh, the BlefTednefs of being delivered from the
Clogs of Flefh and Senfe, from a Body of Sin and fpiritual
Death ! Oh, the unfpeakable Sweetnefs of being tranflated in-
to a State of compleat Purity and Perfection ! Believe me, mY
Brother, a lively View and Hope of thefeThings will make the
King of Terron himfelf appear agreable. Dear Brother,
\zt me intreat you, to keep Eternity in your View, and behave
your felf as becomes one that muft fhortly give an Account of alt
Things done in the Body, That GOD may be your GOD, and
prepare you for his Service here, and his Kingdom of Glery
hereafter, is the Defire and daily Prayer of
Your afFedionate loving Brother,
D. Brainerd,
No. 8. To his Brother Jfrael, at College ; written in the
Time of his extreme llincfs in Bofton^ a few Month before his
Death.
Bo/icn^ June 30. 1747.
My dear Brother,
TT is from the fides of Eternity I now addrcfs you. I am hear-
■■■ tily forry, that I have fo little Strength to write what i long
^o much to communicate to vou. But let me tell you, my Bro-
ther, Eternity is another Thing than we ordinarily take it to be
in a heaithtul State. Oh, how vaft and boundlefs I Oh, how
fix'd and unalterable ! Oh, of what infinite Importance is it,
that we be prepared for Eternity ! I have been jull a dying,
novi/ for more than a Week ; and all around me have, thou '>:hc
m* Tq : Buc in this Time { have had clear Views of Eternity ;
have
270 g-^^fLIFE
have feen the BlefTednefs of the Gadly, in fome Meafure ; and
havelorg'd to (hare their happy State ; as well as been com-
fortably fatisfied, that through Grace, I fnall dofo : But Oh,
what Anguifh is raifed in my Mind, to think of an Eternity for
thofe who are Chrlftlefs^ for thofe who are miftakcn, and who
bring their fa) fe Hopes to the Grave with them ! The Sight
was fo dreadful, I could by no Means bear it : My Thoughts
recoiled, and 1 faid ( but under a more affeciing Senfe than ever
before ) f^ho can dwell with everh/iing Burnings ! Oh, me-
thought, that 1 could now fee my FrieRds, that i might warn
them, to fee to it, they lay their Foundation for Eternity fure.
And you, my dear Brother, I have been particularly concerned
for ; and have wondered, I fo muchregledted converfing with
you about your fpiritual State at our laftMeeting. Oh, my Bro-
ther, let me then befeech you now to examine, whether you are
m^tt6 2i new Creature? Whether you haveever a6ledabove5^//?
"Whether the Glory of God has ever been the fweeteft higheft
Concern with you ? Whether you have ever been reconciled
to all the Perfections of God ; in a Word, whether God hai
been your Portion^ alid a holy Conformity to him your chief
Delight ? If you can't anfwer pofitively,confider ferioufly the
frequent Breathings ofyourSoul : But don't however put your
felf off with a flight Anfwer. If you have Reafon to think you
are Gracelefs^ Oh give your felf and the Throne of Grace no
Reft, 'tillGoD arife and fave. But if the Cafe fhould be other-
Wife, blefs God for his Grace, and prefs after Holinefs. *
My Soul longs, that you floould befitted for, and in dueTime
go into theWork of the Miniflry, I can't bear to thinkofyour
going into any other Bufinefs in Life. Don't be difcouraged,
becaufe you fee your elderBrothers in theMiniftry die early^otiQ
after another : I declare, now 1 am dying, I would not have
fpent my Life othrwife for the whole ''Vorld. But I muft leave
ihis with God.
If this Line fhould come to your Hands foon after the Date,
I fiiould be almoft defirous you (hould fet out on a Journey to
me : It may be, you may fee me alive ; which 1 (hould much
rejoyce in. But if you can't come, I muft commit you to the
Grace of G©d, where you are. May he be your Guide and
Counfeller, your Sandiiiier and eternal Portion.
Mr. 5rr7/Wfl' afterwards had greater Satisfaction concern-
ing the State of his Brother's Soul, by much Opportunity
of Converfation with him before his Death, Oh,
of Mr. David Brainerd; 271
Ob, my dear Brother, flee flefhly Lufls^ and the inchanting
AmufmentSy as well as corrupt Do£lrines of the prefent Day j
and ftrive to live to GOD.
Take this as the la/i Line from
Your afFedtionate dying Brother,
D, Brainerd,
No. 9* To a young Gentleman, z Candidate for the Work
of the Mini/iryy for whom he had a fpecial Friendfiiip 5 alfo
written at the fame Time of his great lllnefs and nearaefs to
Death in Bofton,
Very dear Sir,
HOw amazing 'tis, that the Livings who how 'tkey
mufl die, fhould notwithftanding put far away the evil
Day, in a Seafon of Health and Profperity ; and live at fuch an
awful Diftancc from a Familiarity with the Grave, and the
great Concerns beyond it ! And efpecially itmay juftly fill us
with Surprize, that any whofeMinds have been divinely enlight",
nedy to behold the important Things of Eternity as they are,
I fay, that fuch fhould live in this Manner. And yet Sir,how
frequently is this the Cafe ? How rare are tjie Inftances of
thofe who live and a£t, from Day ^to Day, as on the Verge of
Eternity ; ftriving to fill up all their remaining Moments,
in the Service, and to the Honour of thefr great Mafler ? We
infenfibly trifle away Time, whilp we feem to have enough of
it; and are fo ftrangely amufed, as in a great Meafure to lofe a
Scnfeof the Holinefs and bleffed Qualifications necefTary to
prepare us to be Inhabitants of the heavenly Paradife. But
Oh, dear Sir, a dying Bed^ if we enjoy our Rcafon clearly, will
give another View of Things. I have now, for mor« than
three Weeks, lain under the greateftDegree of Weaknefs ; the
greater Part of the Time, expecting daily and hourly to enter
into the eternal World : fometimes have been fo far gone, as
to be wholly ^peechlefs, for fome Hours together. And Oh,
of what vaft Importance has a holy fpiritual Life appeared to me
to be in this Seafon 1 I have longed to call upon all mvFriends,
to make it their Bufinefs to live to GOD 5 and cfpecs^llv all
that are dcfigned for, or engaged in the Service of theSan^uary.
O dear Sir, don't think it enough, to live at theRaie of common
Chri/Iians, Alas, to how little Purpofe do they often convtrfe^
when they meet together I The Vifits^ even of thofe who are
called Chriftianj indeed, are frequently extreme barren : And
N a Con{cien«e
272 5^^ L I F E
Ccnfcience can't but condemn us for the Mifimprovement
of Time, while we have been converfant with them. But tfi€
Way to enjoy the divine Prefencejand be fitted tor diftinguifti'^
ingService forGOD,is to live aLifc oi greatDtvotion $c eenjiant
Self- Dedication to him ; obferving the iVIotions and Difpofiti-
ons of our own Hearts, whence we may learn the Corruptions
that lodge there, and our conflant Need of Help from GOD
for the Performance of the leaft Duty. And Ob, dear Sir, let
me befeech you frequently to attend the great and preciousDu-
ties of fecret Fa/iing Sin& Prayer,
I have a fecret Thought, from feme Things 1 have obfervcdi
that GOD may perhaps defign you for fome fingular Service in
the World. Oh then labour to be prepared and qualified to
do much for GOD. Read Mr. Edwards's Piece on the Jf-
feSliom^ again and again ; and labour to dijlinguijh clearly upon
£xperiences&AfFe(StionsinReligion, that you may make aDiiFe-
rence between th^GoIdSc thefhiningDr^/f ; I fay, labour here, as
ever you would be an u/efui Minijier of Chrift : For nothing
has putfucha Stop to the Work of GOD in the late Day as
the faUe Religion, the wild AfFedtions, that attended it. Suffer
me therefore, finally, to intreat you earneflly to give your f elf
to Prayer, to Reading and Meditation on divineTruths : Strive
to penetrate to the Bottom of them, and never be content with
a fuperficial Knowledge. By this Means, yourThoughts will
gradually grow weighty and judicious ; and you hereby will be
pofTcfTed of a valuable Treafure, out of which you may produce
Things new and old, to the Glory of GOD.
And now 1 commend you to the Grace of GOB ; earneftly
dtfiring, that a plentiful Portion of the divine Spirit may reft
upon you 5 that you may live to GOD in every Capacity of
IJfe, and do abundant Service for him in z.puhlick^ if it be his
Will ; and that you may be richly qualified for the Inheritance
of the Saints in Light.
I fcarce expect to fee your Face any more in the Body;
and therefore mireat you to accept thii> as the Uik Token of
Love, from
Your fincerely affedlicnate dying Friend,
David Brainerdi -
P. S, I aril now, at the dating of this Letter, corfiJcrably
recovered from what I was v;hen I wrote it ; it haviiil^iain by
xiK (ofttQ TuiiCj for \v«r.: of an Opportunity of Coiiveyunce ;
k
of Mr. David Brainerd. 273
it was written in Bofton» I am now able td ride a little,
and fo am removed into the Country : But I have no more
Expectation of recovering, than when I vi^rote, tho' I am a
little better for the prcfent 5 and therefore I (till fubfcribe my
felf. Your dpng Friend, iffr.
D. B.
No. 10. To his Brother John, at Bethel, the Town of
Chriftian Indians in New-Jerfey ; written likewife at Bojion^
when he was there on the Brink of the Grave, in the Summer,
before his Death.
Dear Brother,
I Am now jufl on the Verge of Eternity ^ expe£ling very
fpeedily to appear in the unfeen World. I feel my felf
ho more an Inhabitant of Earth,2nd fometimes earneftly long
to depart and be with Chriji. I blefs.God,he has for fome Years
given me an abiding Conviftion, that it is impoflible for any
rationalCreature to enjoy txne Happinefs without being entirely
devoted toHim. Under the Influence of this Convidion I have
in fome Meafure a6led : Oh that I had done more fo ! I faw
both the Excellency &Nccefrity oiHoline/s in Life ; but never
in fuch a Manner as now, when I am juft brought to the Sides
of the Grave. Oh, my Brother, purfue after Holinejs ; prefs
towards this blefTed Mark ; and let your thirfty Soul continu-
ally fay, 1 Jhall never be Satisfied 'till 1 awake in thy Likenefs,
AUhb' there has been a great deal of Selfijhnefs in my Views ;
of which I am afhamed, and for which my Soul is humbled at
every View : Yet, blefled be God, I find I have really had,
for the mofl part, fuch a Concern for his Glory, and the Ad-
vancement of his Kingdom in the World, that it is a Satisfadtion
to me to refleft upon thefe Tears,
And now, my dear Brother, as I muft prefs you to purfue
after perfonal Holinefs, to be as much in Fafiing and Prayer as
your Health will allow, and to live above the Rate of common
Chri/iians ; fo I muft intreat you folemniy to attend to your
publici Work: Labour to diftinguifh between true znd/alfe
Religion : And to that End, watch the Motions of God's
Spirit upon your own Heart ; look to him for Help ; and im-
partially compare your Experientes with his ff^ord. Read Mr*
Edwards on the Jfe^ions^ where the EfTence and Soul of Re-
N n 2 ligion
274
ne LIFE
llgion is clearly diftinguifli'd from falfe Affeftions. * Value
religious jfoys according to the SuhjeSf-Matur of them : There
are many thatrejoycc in their (uppokd yu^ificathn; but what do
thcfcjoys argue,but only that they iove themf elves ? Whereas, in
irui fpiritual Joys, the Soul rejoyces in God for what he is in
himftlf 'y blefles God for his Holinefs, Sovereignty, Power,
Faithfuinefs, and all his Perfedlions ; adores God, that he is
what he is, that he is unchangeably poflefs'd of infinite Glory
and Happinefs. Now, when Men thus rejoyce in the PerftC'
tionsofGod, and in the infinite Excellency of the Way of Sal'
vation h Chri/f, and in the holy Commands of God, which arc
a Tranfcript of his holy Nature, ih^/e Joys are divine and fpi-
ritual. Our Joys will ftand by us at the Hour of Deaths if we
can be then fatisfied, that we have thus adled above /f^, and
* I had at firft fully intended, in publifliing this and the
forcgoingLetterSjto have fupprefs'd thefePaflages wherein
■my Name is mention'd, and my Difcourfe on religious Af"
feSftons recommended : And am fenfible,ihat by my doing
otherwife, I fliili bring upon me the Reproach of fome.
But how much foeverlmay be pleafed with theCommen-
dation of an)* Performance of mine ( and I confefs, £
efteem the Judgment and Approbation of fuch a Perfon as
Mr Brainerd, worthy to be valued, and look on my felf
as highly honoured by it ) Yet I can truly fay, theThings
that governed me in altering my foremention'd Determi-
nation, with Refpe6l to thefe PalTages, were thcfe two.
(i .) What Mr. Brainerd here fays of that Difcouife, fhews
very fully and particularly what his Notions were of ex-
perimental Religion, and the Nature of true Piety, and
how far he was from placing it in Impreffions on the Ima^
gination, or any enthufiaftical Impulfes, and how efTential
in Religion he efteem*d holy Pradice, ^£. ^c. For all
that h^ve read tfeat Difcourfe, know what Sentiments are
there exprefs'd concerning thefe Things. ( 2. } I judged,
that the y^pprobation of fo apparent andeminent a Friend
and Example of inward vital Religion, and evan >elical
Piety in the Height of it, would probably tend to make
ih^tBock more Serviceable ; efpecially among fome Kinds
of zealoi^s Pcrfons, whofe Benefit was efpecially aim*d
at in the Book; fome of which are prejudiced againft
it, as written in too legal a Strain, and oppoiing fome
Things wherein the Height of Chriftian Experience con-
fifts, and tending to build Men up on their own Wofks.
ill'
e?/Afr. David Brainerd. 275
in a difintcrcfted Manner ( if I may fo exprefs it ) rejoyced in
the Glory of the blcfTed God. -I fear, you are not fuf-
ficiently aware how much falfe Rehgion there is in the World :
Many ferious Chriftians and valuable Minifters are too eafily
impofedupon by thisfalfefi/^z^. Ilikewife fear, you are not fen-
fibleof iht dreadful EffeSis & Confequencei or this falfeReligion.
Let me tell you, 'tis iht Devi I transformed into an Angel of Light ;
'cis a Brat of Hell, that always fprings up wiih every Revival of
Religion, andftabs and murders the Caufe of God, while ij
paffes Current with Multitudes of well-meaning People for
the Height of Religion. Set yourfelf, my Brother, to crufh ail
Appearances of this Nature, among the Indians^ and never en-
courage any Degrees of Heat without Lighf. Charge my Peo-
ple in the Name of their dying Mini/fer^ yea, in the Name of
Him whowas dead and is alive^io live and walk as becomes the
Gofpel. Tell them, hov; great the Expedlations of God and
his People are from them, and how awfully they will wound
God's Caufe, if they fall into Vice ; as well as fatally prejudice
other poor Indians. Always infift, that their Experiences are
rotten, that their Joys are deluftve^ altho' they may have beea
rapt up into the third Heavens in their own Conceit by them,
unlefs the main Tenour of their Lives be fpiritual, watchful,
and holy. In preffing thefeThings, Thou Jhalt both fave thy f elf ,
and thofe that hear thee ? >-■
GOD knows,! was heartily willing to have ferved him longer
in the Work of the Miniftry, altho' it had ftill been attended
with all the Labours and Hardjhips of paft Years, if he had (ttn
fit that it (hould be fo : but as his Will now appears otherwife,
I am fully content,and can with utmoflFreedom fay, The IVill
oftheLord be done. It afFeds me, to think of leaving you in a
World of Sin: My Heart pities you, that thofe Storms and
Tempefts are yet before you, which, I truft, through Grace I
am almoft delivered from. But God lives, andhhjfed be myRock :
He is the fame almighty Friend ; and will, I truft, be youiGuide
and Helper, as he has been mine.
And now, my dear Brother, 1 commend you to God and ta
the Word of His Grace^which is able to build you up, and give you
Inheritance among all them that are fanSfifjed. May you enjoy the
divincPrefence,both in private and publick ; and may the Arms
of your Hands be madejlrong, by the right Hand of the mighty God
f/Jacob, Which are the paffionate Defires and Prayers of
Your affectionate, dying Brother,
David Brainerd.
APPENDIX.
276 Refleftions and Obfcrvations
A N
APPENDIX.
Containing fome REFLECTIONS and
OBSERFA7I0NS on the preceeding
Memoirs of Mr. Brainerd.
L W 7 E have here Opportunity, as I apprehend, in a very
W lively Injiance^ to fee the Nature of true Religion ;
and the Manner of it's Operation^ when exemph'fied
in a high Degree and powerful Exercife, Particularly it may
be worthy to be obferved :
I. How greatly Mr. Brainerd' s Religion differed from that
of fome Pretenders to the Experience of a clear Work of favirg
Converfton wro*t on their Hearts ; who depending and living
on thatjfettle in a coldycarelefs h carnal Frame of Mindjand in a
Negledt of thorough, earneft Religion, in the ftated Pradlice
of it. Altho* his Convictions an^ Converfion were in allRef-
pe6ls exceeding clear, and very remarkable ; yet how far was
he from a6ling as tho* he thought he had got through his Work^
when once he had obtained Comfort, and Satisfaction of his
Intereft in Chrifl, and Title to Heaven. On the contrary,
thatWork on his Heart, by which he was brought to this, was
with him evidently but the Beginning of hii Work^ his firft
entring on the great Bufinefs of Religion and the Service of
GOD, his firft fetting out in his Race. His obtaining Reft of
Soul inChrift, after earneft ftriving to enter in at the ftraitGate,
and being violent to take the Kingdom of Heaven, he did not
look upon as putting an End to any further Qccafion for ftriv-
ing and Violence in Religion ; but thefe were continued ftill,
and maintained conflantly, through all Changes, to the very
End of Life. His Work was not finifhed,nor hisRacc ended,
'tiilLifcwas ended ;agreeable to ircqucniScripture- Reprefentations
of the Chriftian Life. He continued prcffing forward in a
conftant Manner, forgetting the Things that were bchind,and
reaching forth towards the Things that were before. HisPains
and Earneftncfs in the Buftnefs of Religion were rather increaf-
cdy
On the preceeding Memoirs. 277
ed, than diminiftied, after he had received Comfort andSatis-
fa&Xon concerning the fafety of his State. Thofe divinePrin-
ciples, which after this he was actuated by, of Love to GODj
and Longings and Thirftings after Holinefs, fcem to be more
cfFedual to engage him to Pains and Adlivity in Religion, than
Fear of Hell had been before.
And as his Converfion was not the End of his IP'orky or of
the Courfe of his Diligence and Strivings in Religion ; fo nei-
ther was it the End of the Work of the Spirit of GOD on his
Heart : But on the contrary, the Beginning of that Work ;
the Beginning of his fpiritual Difcoveries,and holy Views j the
firftDawning of theLight, which thenceforward increafed more
and more ; the Beginning of his holy AfFe6tions, hisSorrow foi
Sin, his Love to GOD, his Rejoycing in Chrift Jefus, his
Longings after Holinefs. And the powerful Operations of the
Spirit o\ God in thefe Things, were carried on, from the Day
of his Converfion, in a continued Courfe, to his dying Day.
His religious Experiences, his Admiration, his Joy and Praife,
and flowing AfFedlions, did not only hold up to a confir'erable
Height for a few Days, Weeks or Months, at firft, whileHope
and Comfort were new Things with him -, and then gradually
dwindle and die away, 'till they came to almoft nothing, and
fo leave him without any fenfible or remarkable Experience of
fpiritual Difcoveries, or holy and divine AfFedions, forMonths
together ; as it is v/ith many, who after theNewnefs of Things
is over, fooncome to that pafs, that it is again with 'em very
much as it is ufed to be before their fuppofedConverfion, with
Refpea to any prefcntViewsof GOD'sGlory,of Chrift'sExcel-
lency, or of the Beauty of divine Things ; and with Refpeit to
any prefent Thirftings for GOD, or ardeniOut-goings of trieir
Souls after divine ObjccSls ; But only now and then they have
a comfortabieRefledion onThings they have met with inTimes
pafl, and are fomeihing ef^cded with them j and {o reft eafy,
thinking allThings are well ; they have had a good cUarlVorky
and their State is fate, and they doubt not but they fhall go to
Heaven when they die. How far otherwife was it with Mr.
Srainerd, than it is with fuch Ferfons ! His Experiences, in-
ffead of dying away, were evidently of an incieafing Nature.
His firft Love and other holy AfFc6ticns,even at the i'.cgiviiUng
were very great ; but after Months and Years, became much
greater, and more remarkable ; and the Spiritual Exercifes of
h s Mind continued exceeding great (iho* not equally fo at all
Timesiyetufually fo) without indulged Remifnefs and without
habitual
2jZ Refledlions and Obfervations
habitual dwindling & dying away, even 'till bisDeceafe. They
began in a Time of generalDeadnefs all over tbcLand,and were
greatly increafed in a Time of general Reviving of Religion.
And when Religion decayed again, and a general Deadnefs
returned, his Experiences were ftill kept up in their Height,
and his holy Exercifes maintained in their Life and Vigour ;
and fo continued to be, in a general Courfe, wherever he was,
and whatever his Circumf^ances were, among En^ii/h and In-
dians^ in Company and alone, in Towns and Cities and in the
howlingWildernefs,in Sicknefs and inHealth, living and dying.
This is agreable toScripture Defcriptions of true and rightRe-
Jiglon, and of theChriftianLife. TheChange, that was wrought
in him at his Converfion, was agreable fo Scripture-Reprefen-
tations of that Change which is wrought in true Converfion 5
a great Change, and an abiding Change, rendring biro a new
Man, a new Creature: Not only a Change as to Hope and
Comfort, and an Apprehenfion of his own good Eflate 5 and a
tranfientChange,confiftinginhighFlights,of pafTingAfFe^tions ;
but a Change of Nature^ a Change of the abiding Habit and
Temper of his Mind. Nor a partial Change, meerly in Point
of Opinion, or outward Reformation ; m«ch lefs a Change
from one Error to another, or from one Sin to another : but
an univerfal Change, both internal and external ; as from cor-
rupt and dangerous Principles in Religion, unto the Belief of
the Truth, fo from both the Habits and Ways of Sin, unto uni-
verfal Holinefs of Heart and Pradlice j from the Power and
Service of Satariy unto God.
2. His Religion did apparently and greatly differ from that
of many high Pretenders to Religion, who are frequently ac-
tuated by vehement Emctiom of Mind, and are carried on in a
Courfe o{ fudden 2.T\^Jirong Impreffions^ and fuppofed high Illu-
minations and immediate Difcoveries^ and at the fame Time are
Perfons of a virulent Zeal^ not according to Knowledge,
His Convidions, preceedinghis Convej;rion, did not arife
from any frightful Imprtffions on his Imagination, or any external
Images and Ideas of Fire and Brimftone, a Sword of Vengeance
drawn, a dark Pit open. Devils in terrible Shapes, ^c. ftrongly
lix*d in hisMind. His Sight of his own Sinfulnefs did not con-
fift in anylmagination of a heap of loathfome material Filthinefs
within him; nor did his Scnfc of the Hardnefs of his Heart
confilt in any bodily feeling in his Breaft foraething hard and
heavy like a Stone, nor in any Imaginations whatever of fuch
a Nature.
His
On the preceeding Memoirs. 279
His firft Difcovery of God or Chrift, at his Converfion, was
not any ftrong Idea of any external Glory or Brightnefs, or
Majetty and Beauty of Countenance, or pleafant Voice 5 nor
was it any fuppofed immediate Manifeftation of God's Love
to him in particular ; nor any Imagination of Chrift's fmiling
Face, Arms open, or Words immediately fpoken to him, as
by Name, revealing Chrifl's Love to him ; either Words of
Scriptare, or any other : But a Manifeftation of God's Glory,
and the Beauty of his Nature, as fupremely excellent in it felf ;
powerfully drawrng,and fweetly captivating hisHearc ; bringing
him to a hearty Defire to exalt God, fet him on the Throne>
and give him fupreme Honour and Glory, as the King and
Sovereign of the Univerfe ; and alfo a newSenfe of the infinite
Wifdom, Suitablenefs and Excellency of the Way of Salvation
by Chrift ; powerfully engagmg his whole Soul to embrace
this Way of Salvation, and to delight in it. His firft Faith did
not confift in believing that Chrift loved him, and died for him,
in particular. Hib firft Comfort was not from any fecret Sug-
geftion of God's Eternal Love to him, or that God was recon-
ciled to him, or intended great Mercy for him ; by any fuch
Texts as thofe. Son, be of good Cheat , thy Sins ate forgiven thee i.
Fear not, 1 am thy God, &c. or in any fuch Way. On the
contrary, when GOD's Glory was firft difcovered to him, it
was without any Thought of Salvation as his own. His firffe
Experience of the fandlifying & comforting Power of GOD's
Spirit did not begin in fome bodily Senfation, any pleafant
warmFeeling in his Breaft, that he ( as fome others ) called the
Feeling the Love of Chrift in him, and being full of the Spirit.
How exceeding far were his Experiences at his firft Converlio^
from Things ef fuch a Nature !
And if we look thro' the whole Series of his Experiences,'
from his Converfion to his Death, we (hall find none of this
Kind. I have had Occafion to read his Diary over and over,
and very particulacJy andcritically to review eve ryPafTage in it;
and 1 find no one Inftance of a ftrong Impreflion on his Ima-
gination, through his whole Life : No Inftance cf a ftrongly
imprefs'd Idea of any external Glory and Brightnefs, of any
bodily Form or Shape, any beautiful Majeftick Countenance :
No imaginary Sight of Chrift hanging on the Crofs, wi«h his
Blood ftreaming from his Wounds ; or feated in Heaven on a
bright Throne, with Angels and Saints bowingbefore him ; or
with a Countenance fmiling on him ; or Arms open to embrace
him : No Sight of Heaven, in his Imagination, with Gatestof
O o Pearl,
:28o Rcfle^ioiis. and Obfervations
MurT, and Golden Streets, and vaft Multitudes of glorious In-
liabitants, with fhining Garments ; No-Sight of the Book of
Life opened, with his Name written in it : No hearing of the
fweet Mufeck made by the Songs of heavenly Hofts 5 No hear-
ing;^flfod or Chrifl immediately fpeaking to him ; nor any fud-
den^ggeftions of Words or Sentences, either Words of
"igeripture, or any other, as then imnaediately fpoken or fent
to him • No new objective Revelations, no fudden ftrong Sug-
geftions of fecretFadls. Nor do I find any one Inftance in all
the Records he has left of his own Life, from Beginning toEnd,
of Joy excited from a fuppofed immeaiaieWitnt(s of theSpirit;
or inward immediate Suggeftion, that his State was furely
good, that God loved him with an everlaftingLove, that Chrift
died for him in particular, and that Heaven was his ; cither
with or without a Text of Scripture : No Inflance ofComfort
by a fudden bearing in upon hisMind, as tho' at that veryTime
diredled by God to him in particular, any fuch kind of Texts
as thofe 5 Fear not. Jam with thee ; — It is your Father^ s good
Tleajure to give you the Kingdom ; — You have not chofen me^
^ut 1 have chofen you ; — / have called thee by thy Name, thou
art mine ; •« — Before thou waji formed in the Belly, I knew
lhee,&iQ. No* fuppofedCommunion & Converfation with GOD
carried on in this Way 3 no fuch fuppofed Tafting of the Love
ofChrift. But the Way he was fatisfied of his own goodEftate,
even to the entire abolifhing of Fear, was by Feeling within
himfelf the lively adings of a holy Temper and heavenly Dif-
pofitionjthe vigorous Exercifes of that divineLove, which cafts
out Fear : This was the Way he had full Satisfadlion fqon af-
ter his Converfion ( fee his Diary on O^ob. 18 5c 19. 1740.)
And we find no other Way of Satfsfa<Stion through his whole
Life afterwards : And this he abundantly declared to be the
Way, the only Way, that he had complete Saiisfadion, when
he looked Death in the Face, in it's near Approaches,
Some of the Pretenders to an immediate Witnefs by Suggefti-
on, and Defenders of it, with an afiuming Confidence, would
bear us in Hand, that there is no full AfTurance without it ;
and that the Way of being fatisfied by Signs, and arguing an
Intereit in Chrift from Sanilification, if it will keep Men qui-
et in Life and Health, yet wjjl never do when they come to
die : Then ( they fay ) Men muft have immediate Witnefs, or
cHe be in a dreadful Uncertainty. But Mr. /?r^/«^rr^'s Experi-
ence is a Confutation of this ; for in him we have an Inftance
©f CMC that pofTcf&'d as cgnft^nt and unfhaken an AiFurance^
_ . thro'
On the preceedlng Memoirs. -*fi^t
(faro' the Courfe of his Life, after Con vcrfion, as perhaps can
be produced in this Age ; which yet he obtained and enjoyM
without any fuch Sort of Te/iimony^ and without all Manner of
Appearance ofitjOrPretence to it ; yea, while utterly difclaim-
ing any fuch Thing, and declaring againft it : And one whofe
Afturance,we need not fcruple to affirm, has as fairaCiaim,and
as juft a Pretenfion to Truth and Genuinenefs, as any that the
Pretenders to immediate IVitnefs can produce : And not only
an Inftance of one that had fuch AfTurance in Life, but had it
in a conftant Manner in his laft Illnefs ; and particularly in
the latter Stages of it, through thofe laft Months of his Life,
wherein Death was more fenfibly approaching, without the
leaft Hope of Life : And had it too in it's Fulnefs^ and in the
Height of it*s Exercife, under thofe repeated Trials, that he
had in this Space of Time ; when brought from Time toTime
to the very Brink of the Grave, expeding in a fewMinutes to
be in Eternity. He had the full JJfurance of Hope, unto the
End, . When on the Verge of Eternity, he then declares his
Affurance to be fuch as perfectly fecluded all Fear ; and not
only fo, but it manifeftly fill'd his Soul with exceeding Joy :
He declaring at the fame Time, that this his Confolation and
good Hope thro' Grace arofe wholly from the Evidence he had
of his good Ethtc, by what he found of his Sandification, or
theExercife of a holy heavenlyTemper of MindJupreme Love
to God, ^c. and not in the leaft from any immediate Wjtnefs
by Suggeftion : Yea, he declares that at thcfe very Times he
faw the awful Delufion of that Confidence which is built on
fuch a Foundation, as well as of the whole of that Religion
which it ufually fprings from, or at leaft is the Attendant of 5
and that his Soul abhor'd thofe Delufions : And he continued
jn this Mind, often expreliing it with much Solemnity, even 'till
Death.
Mr. Brainerd's Religion was not fe/fi/b and mercenary : His
Love to God was primarily and principally for the fupreme
Excellency of his own Nature, and not built on a preconceived
Notion that God loved him^ had received him into Favour, and
had done greatThings /^r him^ox promifed greatThings to him :
So hisjoy was Joy in God, and not in himlelf. We fee by his
Diary how, from Time to Time, through the Courfe of hi§
Lite, his Soul was fill'd with ineffable Sweetnefs and Comfort.
But what was the Spring of this ftrong and abiding Confo-
lation ? Not fo much the Confideration of the fu re Grounds
he had to think that his State was good, that God had delivered
O o 2 hins
2S2 Refleaions and Obfervations
him from Hell, and (hat Heaven was his ; or any Thoughts
concerning his own diftinguilhed happy and exalted Circum-
ftances, as a high Favourite of Heaven: But the fweet Medi-
tations and entertaining Views he had of divine Things without
himfelf ', the afFcdling Confiderations and hvely Ideas of God's
infinite Glory, his unchangeable BlefTednefs, his Sovereignty
and univerfal Dominion ; together with the fwcet Exereifes of
Love to GOD, giving himfelf up to him, abafing himfelf be-
fore him, denying himfelf for him, depending upon him, adting
for his Glory, diligently ferving him ; and the pleafmg Prof-
pe6ls or Hopes he had of a future Advancement of the Kmg-
dom of Chrift, ^c.
It appears plainly and abundantly all aIong,from hisConver-
fion to hi^ Death, that that Beauty, that Sort of Good, which
was the great Object of the new Scnfc of his Mind, the new
Relifh and Appetite given him in Converfion, and thencefor-
ward maintained and increafed in his Heart, was HOLINESS,
(Conrormsty to God, living to God, and glorifying Him, This
tvas what drew/ hisHeart ; this was the Center of his Soul ; this
was the Ocean to which all the Streams of his religious Affec-
tions tended : This was the Obje6f that engaged his eager
thirflingDefires and earned Purfuits : He knew no true Excel-
lency or Happiriefs, bat this: This was what he longed for
jnoft vehemently and conttantly on Earth ; and this was with
him the Beauty and Bleffednefs of Heaven ; which made him fo
much and fo often to long for that World of Glory ; it was to
be perfe^^lyholy, and perfecStly exercifed in the holy Employ-
ments of Heaven ; thus to glorifvGod and enjoy him forever.
His religious Illuminations, AfFe6tions and Comfort feem'd,
to a great Degree, to be attended v/\t\i Evangelical Humiliation ;
confiftingin a Senle of his own utter Infufficiency,Derpicable-
nefs andOJioufners ; with an anfwerable Difpofition andprame
of Heart. How deeply afrcdled was he almoft continually with
his greatDcfeds in Religion j with his vaft Diftance from that
Spirituality ?.nd holy Krame of Mind that became him -, with
his Ignorance, Pride, Dcadnefs, Unfteadinefs, Bairennefs f
He was not only affeded with the Remembrance of his former
Sinfu'neHj, before his Converfion, but with the Senfe of his
preff t Vilcnef'^nd f\)"lution. He was not only difpofed to
think meanly of himfelf as before God, and in Comparifon of
him 5 but among/I AUn^ and as compared v/ith.them : He was
aot to think otherSaiits better than he; yea, to look on himfelf
ai the meanelt and .'caft of Saints 5 yea, ^Qxy often, as the
" ■ ' ■ ■ F-ilcf^
On the preceeding Memoirs. 283
vHeft and worft of Mankind. And notwithftanding his great
Attainments in fpiriiual Knowledge^ yet we find there is fcarce
any Thing that he is more frequently afFe6ted and abafed with
a Senfe of, than his Ignorance,
How emfnently did he appear to be of a meek and quiet Spirit,
refemblingtheLamb-like,Dove-likeSpiritof JefusChrift ! How
full of Love, Meeknefs, Quietncfs, Forgivenefs and Mercy !
His Love was not meerly a Fondnefs and Zeal for a Party, but
an univerfal Benevolence ; very often cxercifed in the moft
fcnfible and ardent Love to his greatefl Oppofers and Enemies.
His Love and Meeknefs were not a meer Pretence, and out-
ward Profeflion and Shew ; but they were efFe£lual Things,
manifefted in expenfive and painful Deeds of Love and Kind-
nefs ; and in a meekBehaviour ; readily confeilingFaults under
the greatefl Trials, and humbling himfelf even at the Feet of
thofe from whom he fuppofed he had fufFered moft ; and from
Time to Time, yery frequently praying for his Enemies, ab-
horring the Thoughts of Bitternefs or Refentment towards
them. 1 fcarcely know where to look for any parallel Inftance
ofSelf-denial,in thefe Refpedts, in the prefent Age. He was
a Perfon of great Zeal ; but how did he abhor a bitter Zeal,
and lafnent it where he faw it ! And tho* he was once drawn
into fome Degrees of it, by the Force of prevailing Example,
as it were in his Childhood ; yet how did he go about with a
Heart bruifed and broken in Pieces for it all his Life after !
Of how/oft and tender a Spirit was he ! How far were his
Experiences, Hopes, and Joys from a Tendency finally to flupi-
iy and harden him, to lelTen Convi6lions and Tendernefs of
Confcience, to caufehim to be lefs afFeded with prefent and
paft Sins, and lefs eonfcientious with Refpe£t to future Sins,
more eafy in the Negledl of Duties that are troublefome and
inconvenient, more flow and partial in complying with difficult
Commands, lefs apt to be alarmed at the Appearance of his
own Defeats andTranfgrellions, moreeafily induced to a Com-
pliance with carnal Appetites ! On the contrary, how tender
was his Confcience ! How apt was his Heart to fmite him ?
How eafily and greatly was he alarmed at the Appearance of
moral Evil ! How great and conftant was his Jealoufy over
his own Heart ! How ftrici his Care and Watchfulnefs againfi
Sin ! How deep and fenfible were the Wounds that Sin made
in his Confcience I Thofe Evils that are generally accounted
fmall, were almoft an infupportabie Burden to him ; fuch as
his inward DeficicncieSjhis having no more Love toGOD,find-
2$4 Reflexions W Obfervations
ing within himfelf any flacknefs or dulnefs in Religion, any
Unfteadinefs, or wandriug Frame of Mind, &c. How did the
Confideration of fuch. Things as thefe opprefs and abafc him,
and fill him with inward Shame and Confufion ! HisLove and
Hope, tho* they were fuch as call out a fervile Fear of Hell,
yet they were fuch as were attended with,and abundantly che-
rifh'd and promoted a reverential filial Fear of God, a Dread
ofSinandof God*s holy Difpleafure. His Joy fcem'd truly
to be a rejoicing with Trembhng. His AfTurance and Com-
fort differed greatly from a falfe enthufiaftick Confidence and
Joy, in that it promoted and maintained Mourning for Sin :
holy mourning, with him, was not only the Work of an Hour
or a Day, at his firfl: Converfion ; but Sorrow for Sin was like
aWound conftantly running : He was aMourner for Sin all his
Days. He did notjj after he received Comfort and full Satis-
faction of the Forgivenefs of all his Sins, and the Safety of his
State, forget his paft Sins, the Sins of his Youth, that were
committed before his Converfion ; but the Remembrance of
them, from Time to Time, revived in his Heart, with renew-
ed Grief. That in Ezek. xvi. 63. was evidently fulfiPd in
him, That thou mey/i remember ^ and be confounded ^ and never open
ihy Mouth any more^ becaufe of thy Shame ; when 1 am ^pacified
toward thee for all that thou haji done. And how laftingly
did the Sins that he committed after his Converfion, afFe6land
break his Heart ! If he did any Thing whereby he thought be
had in any Refpeddifhonoured God, and wounded thelntereft
of Religion, he had never done with calling it to Mind with
Sorrow and Bitternefs : Tho' he was afTured that God had
forgiven it, yet he never forgave himfelf : His paft Sorrows
and, Fears made no Satisfadion, with him ; but ftill the Wound
renews and bleeds afrefh, again and again. And his prefent
Sin?, that he daily found in himfelf, were an Occafion of daily
fenfiblc and deep Sorrow of Heart.
His Religion did not confift in unaccountable Flights and
vehement Pangs ; fuddenly rifing, and fuddenly falling ; at
fome Turns exalted almoft to the third Heavens, and then at
other Turns negligent, vain, carnal, and fwallowed up with the
World; for Days and Weeks, if not Months together. His
Religion v/as not like a blazingMeieor,or like a flamingComet,
(or a wandring Star, as the Apoftle7«^^ calls it, ver. 13 J flying
thro' theFirmament with a brightTrain ; & then quickly going
out in perfedtDarknefs :. But more like the fteadyLightc ofHea-
ven } that are confiant Principles of J-aght, tho* fometimes hid
with
On the preceding Memoirs. 2 S5
v/hh Clouds. Nor like a Land-Flood, which flows far and
wide, with a rapid Stream, bearing down all afore it, and thea
dried up; but more like a Stream fed by livingSprinps ; which
tho' fometimes mcreafed by Showers, and at other Times di-
minifhed by Drought, yet is a conjiant Stream,
His religious AfFedlions and Joys were not like thofe of
fome, who have Rapture and mighty Emotions from T<me to
Time in Company j but hav,e very little AfFeaion in Retirement
and fecret Places. Tho* he was of a very fociablcTemper, and
loved thcCompany ofSainis,and delighted very much in religi-
ous Converfation and infocial Worfhip ; yet his warmeft Af-
fedions and their greateft EfFeds on animal Nature, and his
^ fweeteftjoys, were in his Clofet-DevetionSjand folitaryTranf-
adtions between God and his own Soul ; as is very obfervable
thro' his whole Courfe, from his Converiion to his Death. He
delighted greatly in facredRetirements ; and loved to get quite
away from all the World, toconverfe withGoD alone,in fecret
Duties.
Mr, Brainerd*s Experiences and Comforts were^very far
from being like thofe of fome Perfons, which are attended with
a rpiritual Satiety^ and put an End to their religious Defines and
Longings, at leaft to the Edge and Ardency of them ; reftin^;
fatisfied in their own Attainments and Comforts, as having ob-
tained their chief End, which is to extinguifh their Fears of
Hell, and give 'em Confidence of the Favour of GOD. How
far were his religious AiFe6tions,Refre{hments, & Satisfadlions,
from fuch an Operation and Influence as this ! On the contra-
ry, how were they always attended with Longings an-' Thirft-
ings after greater Degrees of Canformity toijOD ! And the
greater and fweeter his Comforts were, the more vehement
were his Defires after Holinefs. For 'tis to be obferved, ihac
hisLongings were notfo much after joyfulDifcoveries of God's
Love and clear Views of his Title to future Advancement and
eternal Honours in Heaven ; «s after more of prcfent Holinclii,
greater Spirituality, an Heart more engaged for GOD, to love
and exalt and deperid on hirrf, an Ability better to ferve him,
to do more for bis Glory, and to do all that he did with more
of a Regard to Chrift as his Righteoufnefs and Strength ; and
after the Enlargement and Advancement of Chrift'sKingdorn
in the Earth. And his Defires were not idle wifhings and
wouldings, but fuch as were povverlul and cfFcdiual, to ann-
mate him to the earnefl, eager purfuit of thefc Things, with
wimoft Diligence and unfainimg Labc/ur and Scll^denial. Hij
Com fur t»
286 Refle6lions fl»^ ObfcrvationS
Comforts never put an End to his feeking after GOD, and
flriving to obtain his Grace ; but on the contrary, greatly en-
gaged and enlarged him therein.
His Religion did not confiftonly inExperiencSiW'uhout Prac-^
iice. All his inward Illuminations, AfFed^ions and Comforts
feem'd to have adiredl Tendency to Pradlice, and to illue in
it ! And this, notmeerly a Pra<5tice negatively good, free from
grofs A6ls of Irreljgion and Immorality ; But a Pradlice poji-"
lively Holy and Chriliian, in a ferious, devout, humble, meek,
merciful, charitable, and beneficent Conveifation ; making
the Service of GOD, and our Lord Jefus Chrift, the greatBu-
fmefs of Life, which he was devoted to, and purfued with the
greateft Earneftnefs and Diligence to the End of his Days,
thro' all Trials. In him was to be feen the right Way of be-
ing lively in Religion : His Livelimfs in Religion did not confift
meerly or mainly in his being lively with the Tongue^ but in
Deed \ not in being forward in Profeflion and outward Shew,
and abundant in declaring his own Experiences j but chiefly in
being a6tive and abundant in theLabours &Duties of Religion ;
not flothful in Bvfmefs^ but fervent in Spirit, ferving the Lord,
and ferving his Generation^ according to the mil of God,
By thefe Things, many high Pretenders to Religion, andPro-
fefTors of •extraordinary fpiritual Experience, may be fenfible,
that Mr. Brainerd did greatly condemn their kind of Religion;
and that not only in Word, but byExample,bo;h living and dy-
ing ; as the whole Series of his Chriftian Experience andPrac-
ticc, from his Converfion to his Death, appears a conftantCon-
demnation of it.
It can*t be obje6led,that theReafon why he fo much difliked
the Religion of ihefePretenders, and why his own fo much dif-
fered from it, was, that his Experiences werenot clear. There
is no Room to fay, they were otherwife, in any Refpedt, in
which Clearnefs of Experience has been wont to be infifted on;
whether it be the Clearnefs of thftir Nature, or of their 0*der^
and the Method his Soul was at firil brought toRelt ar.d Com-
fort in his Conveifion. I am (ar from thinking ( and fe was
he) that Clearnefs of the Order of Experience is, in any Mea-
fure, of equal Importance with the Clearnefs of their I>iature :
I have fufficiently declared in my Difcourfe on Religious J ffiHi-
ens (uhichhe exprefly approved of and recommended ) that I
cJon't ruppofe,a fenfible Dif^ind^nefs of the 5r^piof the Spirit's
Operation and Method of fuccefTive Cojividions and Illumina-
riwns, isaneccllary Fcquifitc to Pcrfons being received in full
Chanty,
Oh the preceedhg Memoirs. '287
Charity, as true Saints ; provided the Nature of the Things
they profefs, be right, and their Praaice agreeable. Ncverthc-
lefs, 'fis obfervable, ( which cuts off allObjedlion from fuch at
would be moft unreafonably difpofed to objca and cavil in the
prefentCafe ) So it was, that Mr.Srainerd^Exptnenccs were
not only clear in the latter RefpecS, but remarkably fo in the
former : So that there is not perhaps one Inftance infiveHun-
dred rue Converts, that on this Account can be parallel'd
with him-
It can*t be pretended , that the Reafon why he fo much ab-
hor'd andcondmncd the Notions and Experiences of thofe
whofe/r/? Faith conCilis in believing that Chrifl// iheirsy and
that Chrift ^/W Ar them ; without any previous Experience of
Union of Heart to him, for his Excellency, as he is in himfelf,
and not for his fuppufed Love to them ; and who judge of their
Intereft in Chrift, their Juftificaiion, and GOD's Love to
them, not by their Sanilification and the Exercifes and Fruits
of Grace, but by a fuppofed immediate Witnefsof the Spirit, by
inward Suggeftion ; I fay, it can*t be pretended, that theRea-
fon why he fo much deteftcd and condemned fuch Opinions
and Experiences, was, that he was of a too legal Spirit ; either
that he never was dead to the Law, never experienced a thoro'
Work of Convi£lion,was never fully brought off from his own
Righteoufnefs,and wean'd from the old Covenant ^hy a thorough
legal Humiliation ; or that afterwards, he had no great De-
gree of fvaw^W/W Humiliation, not living in a deep Senfe of
his own Empiinefs, Wretchednefs, Poverty, and abfolute Dc-
pendance on the meer Grace of GOD through Chrift. For
hisConvidlions of Sin,preceedinghis lirflConfolations inChrift»
were exceeding deep and thorough ; his Trouble and Exercifc
of Mind, by a Senfe of Sin and Mifery, very great and long
continued ; & theLight let into hisMind at hisConverfion and
in progrefiive Satidtification, appears to have had its genuine
humbling Influence upon him, to have kept him low in his
ownEves,not confiding in himfelf, but in Chrift, living by thi
Faith of the Son of- GODi and looking' for the Adercy of the Lord
yejus to eternal Life.
Nor can it be pretended, that theReafon why he condemned
tbofe, and other Things, which this Sort of People call the very
Height of vital Religion and the Power of Godlinefs, was,tr.ac
he was a dead Chri/iian, and lived in the Dark (as they exprcfs
themfclves ) that his Experiences, tho' they mipht be frur,
were not great 5 that he did not live near to GOD, had but a
P p fmall
28S Reflexions and Obfervations
fmall Acquaintance with him, and had but a dim Sight of fpi-
ritual Things. If any, after they have read the preceeding
Account of Mr. ^rfl/?2fr^'s Life, will venture to pretend thus,
they will only (hew that they them/elves are in the Dark^ and
do indeed put Darknefsfor Lights and Light for Darknefs,
'Tis common with this Sort of People, if there is any one
whom they can't deny to exhibit goodEvidencesof true God-
linefs,who yet appears to diflike theirNotions,& condemn thofe
Things wherein they place theHeight of Religion, to infmuate,
that they are afraid of the Crofs^ and have a Mind to curry Pa'
vour with the World, and the like. But I pre fume, this will
not be pretended concerning Mr. Brainerd, by any one Perfon
that has read the preceeding Account of hisLife. It rauft needs
appear aThing notorious to fuch,that he was an extraordinary,
and almoft unparallel'd Inflance ( in ibefe Times and thefe
Parts of the World ) of the contrary Difpofition : and ihat^
whether we confider what he has recorded of his inward Ex-
ferience, from Time to Time ; or his PraSf ice yhow he in Fa6l
took up and embraced the Crofs^ and bore it conftantly, in
his great Self- Denials, Labours, and Sufferings for the Name
of Jefus, and went on without fainting, without repenting,
or repining, to his dying lllnefs : How he did not only, from
Time to Time, rellnquiOi and renounce the ^or/^ fecretly,
in his Heart, with the full and ferventConfent of all thePowers
of his Soul ; but openly and adtually forfook the Worldy with
it's Pofleifions, Delights, and common Comforts, to dwell as
it were with wild Beafts, in a howling Wildernefs , with con-
ftant Chearfulnefs, complying with the numerous Hardfhips
of a Life of Toil and Travel there, to promote the Kingdom
ef his dear Redeemer. And befides, it appears by the preceed-
ing Hiiiory, that he never did more condemn the Things fore-
mentioned, never had a greater Senfe of their Delufion, per-
nicious Nature, and ill Tendency, and never was more full of
Pity to thofe that are led away with them, than in his laft
lilnefs, and atTimes when he had the neareflPtofpedt of Death,
fuppofed himfelfto be on the very Brink of Eternity, and looked
on all this lower World as what he never fliould have any
Thing more to do with. Surely he did not condemn thofe
Things at thefe Seafons, only to curry Favour with the fVorld,
Befides what has been a^iieady related of Mx.Brainerd's Sen-
timents in his dying State concerning true and falfe Religion,
we have his deliberate and iblemn Tho'ts on this Subje<SV, fur-
ther appcanng by his Preface to Mr. Shepard*i Diary, before
mentioned %
On the precetdtng Memoirs: sg^
aicntioned ; which, when he wrote if, he fuppofcd to be ( as
itproved) one oiiht laji Things he fhould ever write. 1 (hall
here infert a Part of that Preface^ as follows.
" How much Strefs is laid by many upon fome Things as
•^ being EfFe6ls andEvidences of exalted Degrees of Religion,
*< when they are fo far from being of any Importance in it'
«« that they are really irreligious, ^MmuxtoiSelf-Lovi.lma"
<« ^/»fl//5«, and fpiritual Pr/^^, or perhaps the Influence of
«« 5fl/fl« transformed into anAngel ofLight ; I fay, how much
«« Strefs is laid on thefeThings by many,! fliall not determine :
•< But 'tismuch to be fear'd, that while GOD was carrying
«« on a glorious Work of Grace, and undoubtedly gathering
*« a Harveft of Souls to himfelf ( which we fl^ould always re-
*' member with Thankfulnefs) Numbers of others have at the
*« fame Time been fatally deluded by the Devices of theDevil,
*' and their swn corrupt Hearts. It is to be fear'd, that the
** Canv^rfions oi fosne have no better Foundation than this ;
*« viz. That after they have been under feme Concern fof
*' their Souls for a while, and it may be manifefted fome
*' very great and uncommon Diftrefs and Agonies, they
** have on a fudden imagined they fawCuRi st ^in fomePofture
*' or other ; perhaps on theCrofs, bleeding and dying for their
*« Sins ; or it may be, fmiling on them, and thereby fignify-
*' ing his Love to them : And that thefe and the like Things,
*' tho' meer Imaginations, which have nothing Spiritual in
*' them, have inflantly removed all their Fears and Diftrefl'es,
*' fill'd them with Raptures of Joy, and made them imagine,
<« that they loved Chrifi with all their Hearts ; when theBot-
*' torn of all was Nothing but Self-love* For when they ima-
*' gined that Chrifthad been fo good to them as to fave them,
*' and as it were to fingle them out of all the World, they
*' could not but feel fome kind of natural Gratitude to him ;
*« altho* they never had any fpiritual View of his divineCilory,
•* Excellency and Beauty, and confequently never had any
*' Love to him for himfelf. Or that inftead of having fome
*< fuch imaginary View of Chrift as has been mention'd, in
*• order to remove their Diftrefs and give them Joy, fome
«' having had a Paflage, or perhaps many Paflages of Scriptun
*« brought to their Minds with Power ( as they exprefs it )
*« fuch as that, Son^ he of good Chear.thy Sins are forgiven thee^
*' and the like, thev have immediately applied thefe Paflages
<« to themfehes^ fuppoflng that God hereby manifefted his
«^ peculiar Favour to them, as if mention'd by Name : Never
|» p 2 confitlcrirgi
290 Reflexions and Obfervarions
•« confidering, that they are now giving Heed to new Revc-
«« latrons ; there being no fuch Thing leveal'd in the Word
«« of God, as that this or that parncu!ar Perfon has, or ever
<« (hall have his Sins forgiven ; nor ye; remembring, that 5a-
•' tan can, with a great deal of feeming Perrnency ( and per-
*< haps alfo with confiderable Power) bring Scripture to the
*« Minds of Men, as he did 10 Chrift himfeh. Anu ihus ihefe
*' rejoyce upon having fome Scripture fuddenS fuggelted to
«' them, or imprefs'd upon their Minds, fuppofing they are
** now the Children ot God, juft as did the other upon their
•* imaginary Views of Chrift. And 'tis faid, that fome fpeak
** of feeing a gre2itLight, which flli'd all the Place where they
«« were, and difpePd all their Darkncfs, Fears and DifirefTes,
•' and almoft ravifti'd their Souls. While others have had it
*« warmly fuggefted to their Minds, not by any PafTage of
'^ Scripture, but as it were by a Whifper or Voice from Hea-
'« ven, Jhat God loves them, that Chrifl is theirs y &c. which
*< groundlcfs Imagiiiations and Suggef^ion? o; Satan have had
*' the fame Effed upon them, that the Delufions before men-
*< tion'd had on the others. And as is the Converfion
*« of this Sort of Perfons, fo are their After- Experiences j the
«' whole being built upon Imaginati in,ftrong ImpreflionSjand
<< fudaen Suggcftions made to their Minds : Whence they
*' are ufaally extreme confident (as if immediately informed
•« from God ) not only of the Goodnefs of their own State,
<< but of their infallible Knowledge, and abfolute Certainty, of
** the Truth of every Thing they pretend to, onder the No-
*' tion of Religion ; and thus allReafonmg with fome of them
•' is utterly excluded.
*« But 'cis remarkable of thefe, that they are extremely defi'
*« cient in Regard of true Poverty of Spirit, Senfe of exceeding
** Vilcnefs in themfelves, fuch as frequently makes truly gra-
•' cious Souls to grcan, being burdened -^ as alfo in Regard of
*« Meeknefs, Love and Gentlenefs towards N4ankind, Ten-
*< dernefs of Conlcience in their ordinary AfFiirs and Dealings
*« in the World. And 'tis rare to fee *em deeply concerned
*« about the Principles and Ends of their Adions, and under
*< Fears left they fhould not eye the Glory of God chicfjy,
*^ but live to themfelves ; or this at ieaft is the Cafe in their
•' ordinary Conduct, whether civil or religious. But if any
^* one of their particular /Vi?//(?;2i, which theirZeal hasefpoufed,
*♦ be attacked, they are then fo confcientious, they muft bum^
** if cali'd to itj faf Uie Defcace qI it. Yet, at the fameTimc,
<< when
On the preceedifi^ Memoirs.' 291
«' when they are fo extremely deficient in Regard of thefe preci-
<« ous divine Tempers which have been mention'd, they arc
<« ufually full of Xeal, Concern and Fervency in the Things
*' of Religion, and often difcourfe of them with mJchWarmth
*^ and Engagement : And to thofe who clon^ k(iow,or don't
<« confider, wherein the EJfence of trueReligion confifts, viz,
*' in being conformed to the Image of Chriji^ nut in Point of
<« Zealand Fervency only, bat in all divine Teinpers and
<< Pradtices ; I fay, to thofe who don't duly obferve and dif-
" tinguifh, they often appear like the beft of Men.'*
'Tis common with this Sort of People to fay, that God it
amon^Ji themyhis Spirit accompanies their Exhortations and other /fU-
minijirations^and they are feal*d by the hoiyGhoJi^'m the remarka-
ble Succefs they have, in the greatAfFedlinns that arc ftirred up
in God's People ^f. but to infinuate, on the contrary, that
he is not with their Opponents i and particularly, that God has
forfaken the /landing Minifiry ; and thai the Time is come^ when
it is the Will of God that they fhould he put down, and that God*s
People Jhouid for fake 'em ; and that no more Succefs is to be ex-
peSfed to attend their A dminifi rations.- But where can they find aa
Initance, among all their moft flaming ExhorterSyVf\^o has been
fealed with fo unconteftible and wonderful Succefs of his La-
bours,as Mr. Brainerd, not only in quickening and comforting
God's Children, but alfo in a Work of Conviction and Con-
verfion ( which they own has in a great Meafure ceafcd for a
long Time among themfelv^s ) with a moft vifible and ailo-
nifhing Manifcilation of God's Power, on Subjedb fo unpre-
pared, and that had been brought up and lived, fome of them
to old Age, in the deepeft Prejudices againft the very firftPrm-
ciples of Chriftianity ; the divine Power accompanying his
Labours, producing the mofi remarkable and abiding Change,
turning the Wildernefs into a fruitful Field, and caufing thac
which was aDefart indeed to bud and bloilom as theRufe? And
this altho' he was not only one of their greatcft Opponents in
their Errors j but alfo one of thofe they call the fiandini^ Mi-
ni/iry ; fij ft examined and licenfed to preach byfuch Mini/hrs^
and fent forth among the Heathen by fuch Minijiers ; and af-
terwards ordained hy fuch Mini flers ; always dire^ed by them,
and united with them in theirConfiiiorieSjandAdminifhations ;
and even abhorring thePraaicc of thofe who give out, that they
ought to be renounced and feparatcd ffonOj and that Tcacners
may be ordained by Lay-Men*
It
2p2 Reflexions and Obfcrvations
It cannot be pretended by thefe Men, that Mr. Braintrd
condemned their Religion, only becaufe he was noi acquainted
with them^ and had not Opportunity for full Obfervationof the
Nature,Operation& Tendency of their ^A-p^r/ffffw : For he had
abundant and peculiar Opportunities of fuch Obfervation and
Acquaintance : He lived through the late extraordinary Time
of religious Commotion, and faw the Beginning and End, the
Good and the Bad of it: He had Opportunity to fee the vari-
ous Operations an^ Effedls, that were wrought in this Seafon,
more extenfwely^ than any Perfon I know of : His native Place
was about the middle of ConneSficut ; and he was much con-
verfant in all Parts of that Colony : He was converfant in the
Eaflern Parts of it, after the Religion, which he condemned,
began much to prevail there : He was converfant with the
zealous People onLong- Ijland ^from one End of the Ifland to the
other ; and alfo in New-Jerfey, and Pennfylvania ; with Peo-
ple of various Nations : He had feme fpecial Opportunities ia
(bme Places in this Province ( Majptchufetts-Bay) where has
been very much of this Sort of Religion, and at a Time when
it greatly prevailed : He had converfed & difputed with Abun-
dance of this Kind of People in various Parts, as he told me ;
and alfo informed me, that he had feen fomethiog of the fame
Appearances in fome of the Indians^ whom he had preached to,
and had Opportunity to fee the Beginning and End of them.
And befides, Mr. Braimrd could fpeak more feelingly and un-
derftandingly concerning thefe Things, becaufe there was once
a Time when he was drawn away into an Efteem of them, and
for a fhort Seafon had united himfeif to this Kind of People,
and partook, in fome Refpe<5ls, of their Spirit and Behaviour.
But 1 proceed to another Obfervation on the foregoing
Memoirs.
II. This Hiftory of Mr. Brainerd's may help us to make
I)i/iin^ions3moDg the high religious .^^^f?/^?;;;, and remarkable
Jrnprejfiom made on the Minds of Perfons, in a Time of great
Jivokemn^^znd Revival of Religion ; and may convince us, that
there arc not only Diftin6iions in T/^^^ry, invented to fave the
Credit of pretended Revivals of Religion, and what is called
the Experience of the Operations of the Spirit ; but Diftin6lions
that do actually take Pla<:e'fn the Courfe of Events^ and have a
real and evident Foundation*in Fa5f,
Many do^n^ it//7/ ooftfouri^ Things, blend all together, and
hy^ *Tis all alike 5 Uii all ej the fame Sort, So there are many
thaf
On the preceeding Memoirs. 293
that fay concerning the Religion moft generally prevailing
among the Separati/is^ and the AfFeaions they manifeft, *77x
the Jame that was all over the Land /even Yean ago. And fome
that have read Mr. -flrfi/«^r^*sJournaI,giving an Account of the
extraordinary Things that have come to pafa among xhtlndians
in New-Jerfey^'hy, 'Tls evidently the fame Thing that appeared
in many Places among/i /^^Englifh, which hat now proved naughty
and come to that which is worfe than nothing. And all the Reafon
they have thus to determine all to be the Jame Wotk^ and the
fame Spirit, is, that the one manifefted high AfFedlions, and fodo
the other ; the great Affedlions of the one had fome Influence
on their Bodies, and fo have the other; the one ufe the Terms
CQnvi6lion^Converfion^ Humiliation, Coming to Chrifl ^Difcoveries^
Experiences, &c. and fo do the other ; the Imprellions on the
one are attended with a great deal of Zeal, and fo it is with
the other ; the AfFecStions of the one difpofe 'em to fpealc
much about Things of Religion, and fo do the other ; the one
delight much in religious iVIeetings, and fodo the other. —
The Agreement, that appears inthefe, and fuch like Things^
make 'em conclude, tbatfurely all is alike, all is the fame Work>
Whereas, on a cloferInfpe6lion &criticalExamination,it would
appear, that notwithftanding an Agreement in fuch Circum-
ftances, yet indeed there is a vaft Difference, both in EJJence
and Fruits, A confiderable Part of the religious Operations,
that were fix or fevenYears agOjefpecially towards the latierPart
of that extraordinary Seafon, was doubtlefs of the fame Sort
with the Religion of theSeparatiJls ; but not all : There were
many, whofe Experiences were, like Mr. 5rj/«^rJ's, in a Judg-
ment of Charity, genuine and inconteftible.
Not only do theOppofers of all Religion confifting in power-
ful Operations and Affections, thus confound Things ; but
many of ihtPretenden to fuch Religion do fo. They that have
been theSubjeds of fome fort of vehement, but vain Operations
on their Mind, when they hear the Relation of the Experi-
ences of fome real and eminent Chriftians, they fay,Their Ex-
periences are of the fame fort : So they fay, they are juft like
the Experiences of emincntChriftians in former Times, which
we have printed Accounts of. So, 1 doubt not, but there arc
many deluded People, if they (hould read thepreceedinj» Ac-
countof Mr. Brainerd's Life, who reading without much Un-
derftanding, or careful Obfervation, would (ay, without Hcfi-
tation, that fomeThings which they have met with, are of the
\Qry fame Kind with what he cxpreflcs ; When the Agreement
294 Reflexions and Obfervations
is only in fome generalCircumftances,or fomeparticularThinge
that are fuperficial, and belonging as it were to the Profeffion
and Out-fide o( Religion ; but the inward Temper of iVlind
and the Fruits in Pradticc, are as oppofite and cjiftant as Eaft
and Weft.
Many hom/} good?co^\t alfo, and true Chrj/iiam^ don't very
well know how to make a Difference. The giiftering Appear-
ance and glaring Show of falfe Religion dazzles their K}es ;
and they fometimes are fo deluded by it, that they lo^ k on
fome of thefe Impreffions, which H)pocrifes tell of, as the
brighteft Experiences. And tho' ihey have experienced no
fuchThings themfelves,they think, it is beeaufe they are vaftly
]ower in Attainments, and but Babes, in Comparifon of thefe
flaming Chriftians. Yea, fometimes from their differing fo
much from thofe who make fo great a Show, they doubt whe-
ther they have any Grace at all. And it is a hard Thing, to
bring many well-meaning People to make proper Diftin6tions
in this Cafe ; and efpecially to maintain and ftand by 'em ;
through a certain Weaknefs they unhapply labour of,
whereby they are liable to be overcome with the Glare of
•utward Appearances, Thus, if in a fedate Hour they are
by Reafoning brought to allow fuchand fuch Diltindions, yet
the next Time they come in the Way of the great Show of falfe
Religion, the dazzling Appearance fwallows them up, and
they are carried away. Thus the Devil, by his cunning
Artifices, eafily dazzles the feeble Sight of iVIen, and puts 'em
beyond a Capacity of a proper Exercife of Confideration, or
hearkning totheDjdUtes of calmThought & cool Un' erftand-
ing. When they perceive the great AffecSlion, earneft Tajk,
ftrong Voice, allured Looks, vaft Confidence, and boldAlFerti-
ons, of thefe empty afTuming Pretenders, they are pver-born,
Jofe the PofTeflion of their Judgment, and fay, Surely thefe
Men are in theRight^ God is with Urn of a Truth ; andfo they
are carried away, not with Light and Reafon, but ( like Chil-
dren) as it were with aflrong Wind.
This confounding all Things together, th'at have a fair Shew,
is but ading the Part of aChild, that going into a Shop, where
a variety of Wares are expofed to Sale (all of a fhining Ap-
pearance ; fomeVeflels of Gold and Silver, and fomfeDiamonds
and other precious Ston^^ ; and other Things that are Toys
of littleValue ; which arc of fome bafe Metal giltjOrGlafs po-
lifhed, 2nd painted with curiousColours, or cut likeDiamonds)
fhould efteem all alike, and give as great a Pi ice for the vile as
On the preceeding Memoirs: 2^^
for the precious: Or 'tis like the Condua of fame un/kilful
rafli Perfon, who finding himfelf deceived by fomc of the Warci
he had bought at that Shop, fhould at once conclude, all he
there faw was of noValue ; and purfuant to fuch aConclufion
when afterwards he has true Gold and Diamonds offered him|
enough to enrich him and enable him to liv« like a Prioce all
his Days, he fhould throw it all into the Sea.
But we muji get into another Way. The want of diftin-
guiihing in Things that appertain to experimental Religion, it
one of the chief Miferies of the profcifing World. 'Tis at-
tended with very many mofl difmal Confcquenccs : Multi-
tudes of Souls are fatally deluded about thenifelves, and their
own State ; and foare eternally undone : Hypocrites are con-
firmed in their Delufions, and exceedingly puffed up with
Pride : Many fincere Chrifiians are dreadfully perplexed,
darkened, tempted, and drawn afide from the Way of Duty ;
and fometimes fadly tainted with falfe Religion, to the great
Difhonour of Chriftianity,and Hurt oi their own Souls : lome
of the moft dangerous and perniciousEnemies ofReJigion in the
World ( tho' called bright Chriftians ) are encouraged and
honoured ; who ought to be difcountenanced and fiiun'd by
every Body : And Prejudices are begotten and confirmed in
vaft Multitudes, againfl every Thing wherein the Power and
EiTence of Godlincfs confifts ; and in theEnd Deifm &:Aihcifm
are promoted.
III. The foregoing Account of Mr. Brainerd^s Life may
afford Matter of Conviclion, that there is indeed fuch aThing
as trne experimtntal Religioriy arifing /rom immediate divine
Influences, fupernaturally enlightning and convincingthcMind,
and powerfully imprefBng, quickening, fandifying, and go-
verning theHcart ; which Religion is indeed an amiabieThing,
of happy Tendency, and of no hurtful Confequence to human
Society ; notwithftanding there having been (b many Pretences
and Appearances of what is called experimental vital Re-
ligion, that have proved to be nothing but vain, pernicious
Enthujiajm»
\i any infif!:, that Mr. Brainerd*s Religio.i was Enihvjiafm^
and nothing butaftrange Heat and blind Fervour of Mind,
arifing from the ftrong Fancies and Dreams of a notional
whimfical Brain ; I would afk, if it be fo, that fuch Things as
thefe are the Fruits of Enthufiafm, viz a prcat Degree ef
Honcf^y and Simdlicitysfmcere and carneft Defircs and£ndea-
Q^q TOUIJ
296
Reflexions and Obfervations
vours, to know and do whatever is right, and to avoid every
Thing that is wrong ; an high Degree of Love to God, De-
light in the Perfedions of his Nature, placing the Happinefa
of Life in him ; not only in contemplating him, but in being
aftire in pleafing and ferving him ; a firm and undoubting
Belief in the Mfftah, as the Saviaur of the World, the great
Prophet of God, and King of God's Church ; together with
great Love to him. Delight and Complacence in the Way of
Salvation by him, and longing for thcEnlargement of hisKing-
dom ; earneft Defires that God may be glorified and the
Jlfeffiah's Kingdom advanced, whatever Inftruments are made
ufe of ; uncommon Refignation to the Will of God, and that
under vaft Trials ; great and univerfal Bewevolence to Man-
kind, reaching all Sorts of Perfons without Diftindtion, mani-
fefted in Sv/eetnefs of Speech and Behaviour, kind Treatment,
Mercy, Liberality, and earneft feeking the Good of the Souls,
and Bodies of Men; attended with extraordinary Humility*
MeeknefsjForgivenefs of Injuries,and Love to Enemies ; and
a greatAbhorrence of a contrary Spirit andPra6lice ; not only
as appearing in others, but whereinfoever it had appeared in
bimfelf ; caufing the moft bitter Repentance, and Brokennefs
of Heart on Account of any paft Inftances of fuch a Condud :
A modeft, difcreet & decentDeportment, among Superiours,
Inferiours and Equals ; a moft diligent Improvement ofTime,
and earneft Care to lofe no Part of it ; great Watchfulnefs
againft all Sorts of Sin, of Heart, Speech, andAd^ion: And
this Example and thefe Endeavours attended with moft happy
Fruits, and blefTedEft'edls on others, in humanizing, civilizing,
and wonderfully reforming and transforming fome of the moft
brutifh Savages ; Idle, Immoral, Drunkards, Murderers, grofs
Idolaters, and Wizards ; bringing them to permanentSobriety,
Diligence, Devotion, Honefty, Confcientioufners, andCharity :
And the foregoing amiable Virtues and fuccefsful Labours all
ending at laft in a marvellousPeace,unmoveableStability,Ca!m-
nefi', and Refignation, in the fenfible Approaches of Death ;
witb Longing for theHeavenlyState ; not only for theHonourt
and circumftantial Advantages of itjbut above all for the moral
Perfcilion, and holy and blefled Employments of it : And thefe
Things in a Pcrfon indifputably of good Undeiftanding and
Juf^gment : I fay, if all thefe Things are the Fruits of Enihu-
Jiaf/fiy v/hy VnouU not Enthu/icfm be thought a deferable and
excellent Thing ? For what can true Religion, what can the
htH Philofopby dQ m^je ? If Vapours and Whimfy will bring
Men
On the preceeding Memoes. 297
Men (0 the moft thorough Virtue, to the moft benign and
fruitfulMorality ; and will maintain it through aCourfe ofLifc
(attended with many Trials ) without AfFeftation or Self- Ex-
a]tation,and with an earneft conftant bearingTeftimony againlt
the Wildnefs, the Extravagances, the bitter Zeal, afluming
Behaviour, & feparating Spirit of Enthufiafts ; & will do all this
more efFe6tualIy,than any Thing e'.fe has ever done in any plain
knowa Inftance that can be produced ; if it be fo, 1 fay, what
Caufe then has the World to prize and pray for this blefTcd
Whimlicalnefs, and thefe benign Sort of Vapours ?
It would perhaps be a Prejudice with fome againft the whole
of Mr. 5rfl;ff^r^'s Religion, if it had begun in the Time of
the late religious Commotion ; being ready to 'conclulje (how-
ever unreafonably ) that nothing Good could take it's Rife
from thofe Times. But it was not fo; his Converfion was
be/ore thofc Times, in a Time of general Deadnefs ( as has
been before obferved ) and therefore at a Seafon when it
was impoflible,that he fhoujd receive aTaint from any corrupt
Noiions,Examples,orCufloms,that hadBirth in thofeTimes.
And whereas there arc many who are not profcfTed Oppofers
of what is called experimentalReligion,v/ho yet doubt of the Re-
ality of it, from the had Lives of fome Pro fe (Tors ; and are ready
to determine that there is nothing in all the Talk about being
horn again y being emptied of Self^ brought to a faving Clofe with
Chri/i, &c. becaufe many that pretend to thefe Things, and
are thought by others to have been the Subjects of 'em,maniteft
no abiding Alteration in their moral Difpolition and Behaviour;
are as carelefs,carnal,coveteous,^f. as ever ; yea, fome much
worfe than ever : It is to be acknowledged and lamented, that
this is the Cafe with fome ; but by the prcceeding Account
they may be fenrible,that it is not ^o with ajl. There are fome
indifputable Inftanccs of fuch aChange, as the Scripture fpeaks
of ; an abiding great Change, a Renovation of the Spirit of the
Alindy and ^a Walking in Newne/s of Life. In the foregoing
Inftance particularly, they may fee the abiding Influence of
fuch a Work of Converfion, as they have heard cf from the
Word of GOD ; the Fruits of fuch Experiences through
a Courfe of 'Years ; under a great Variety of Circumftances,
many Changes of State, Place, and Company ; and may fee
the blcflcd IfTue and Event of it in Life and Death.
IV. The preceedlngHiftory fcrves to confirm thofeDo£lrjnc8
ufually called the Do^rines of Grace, For if it be allowed
(iq 2 that
29^ Rf fleftions mid Obfervatlons
that (here is Truth, Subftance, or Value in the maio of Mr.
Braintrd's Religion, it will undoubtedly follow,that thofe Doc-
trines are divine : Since 'tis evident, that the whole of it, from
Beginning to End, 19 according to that Scheme of Things ; all
built •n thofe Apprehenfions, Notions, and Views, that are
produced and eftabliflicd in the Mind by thofe Dodlrincs, He
was brought by Do6lrines of this Kind, to his Awakening, and
deep Concern about Things of a fpiritual and eternal Nature ;
and by thefe Do^rines his Convi^ions were maintained and
carried on ; and hisConvcrfion was evidently altogether agree-
able to this Scheme, but by no Means agreeing with the con-
trary ; and utterly inconfiftent with the Ar minion Notion of
Converfion or Repentance. HisConverfion was plainly found-
ed in a clear ftrong Con virion, and undoubting Perfwafion
ol the Truth of th^fe Things appertaining to thefe Do6lrines,
which jirminions moil objedi againfl^ and which his own Mind
ha^ contended moft about. And his Converfion was no con-
firming and perfeding of moral Principles and Habits, byUfe
and Practice, and his own Labour in an induftrious difciplln-
ing himfelf, together with the concurring Suggeftions and con-
ipiring Aids of GOD's Spirit : But entirely a fupernatural
Work, at omcc turning him fromDarknefs to marveUousLight,
and from the Power of Sin to theDominion of divine and holy
Principles ; an EfFe<Sl, in no Regard produced by his Strength
or Labour, or obtained by his Vertue ; and not accompli&'d
'till he was firft brought to a full Conviction that all his own
Vertue, Strength, Labours, and Endeavours could never avail
any Thing to the producing or procuring this EfFe6t.
Avery little while before, his Mind was full of the fame
Cavils againft theDo6lrines of GO D's Sovereign Grace, which
are made by Arminians ; And his Heart full even of a raging
Oppofition to 'em.'AndGOD was pleafed to perform this good
Work in him juft after a fullEnd had been put to this Cavilimg
andOppofitLon; after he was entirely convinced,that he was dead
in Sin, and was in ihc Haads of GOD, as the abfolutely fove-
rcipn, unobligcd, fple Difpofer and Author of true Holinefs.
GOD's (hewing himMercy at fuch a Time, is a Confirmation,
that this was aPreparaiion fofMercy ; & CGnfequentlyjthat thefe
Things which he was convinced of, were true : While he op-^
pofed thefe Things, he was the Subject of no fuch Mercy;
tho' he fo earneflly fought it, and prayed for it with fo much
Painfuinefs, Care and Stridlnefs in Religion : But when once
Lis OfvpofitioA in iu.\\y fuj^^dued, an^ he js brought to fubmit tP
the
On the preceeding Mcmolri; 2cip
the Truths, which he before had oppored,with full Conviaion
then the Mercy he fought for is granted, with abundant Lighf,
great Evidence and exceeding Joy, and he reaps the fwcetFruit
of it all his Lite after,& in the Valley of the Shadow of Death.
In his Converfion, he was brought to fee the Glory of that
Way of Salvation by Chrifl, that is taught in what are called
the DoSirines of Grace } and thence-forward, with unfpeakable
Joy and Complacence, to embrace and acquiefce in that Way
of Salvation. He was in his Converfion, in all Refpeas, bro't
to thofe Views, and that State of Mind, which thefeDoarincs
fhew to be necefTary. And if his Converfion was any realCon-
vcrfion, or any Thing befides a meer Whim, and if the Reli-
gion of his Life was any Thing elfe but a Series of Freaks of a
ivhimfical Mind, then this one grand Principle, on which de-
pends the whole Difference between Cahini/fi and Arminians^
is undeniable, v/z> That the Grace or Vertue-. of truly good
Men, not only differs from the Vertue of others /« /)^^r^/, but
even in Nature and Kind* If ever Mc. Brainerd was truly
turned from Sin to GOD at all, or ever became truly Religi-
ous, none can reafonably doubt but that his Converfion was at
the Time when he fuppofed it to be : The Change he thea
experienced, was evidently the greateft moral Change,that ever
he pafs'd under ; ^nd he was then apparently firft brought to
that Kind of Religion, that remarkable newHabit andTemper
of Mind, which he held all his Life after. The Narration
fliews it to be different, in Nature and Kind^ from all that ever
he was the Subjedi of before. It was evidently wrought at
once, without fitting and preparing his Mind, by gradually con-
vincing it more and more of the fame Truths, and bringing it
nearer and nearer to fuch aTemper : For it was foon after his
Mind had been remarkably full of Blafphemy, and a vehement
Exercife of fenfible Enmity againfl God, and great Oppofii ion
to thofe Truths, which he was now brought with his whole
Soul to embrace, and reft in, as divine and glorious, and to
place hisHappinefs in the Contemplation and Improvement of.
And he himfelf (who wasfurely beft ablctojudge)declare5,that
the Difpofitions and Affections, which were then given him,
and thence-forward maintained in hirn, weremoftfenfibly and
certainly, perfectly different, in their Nature^ from aU that
ever he was the Subjeft of before, or that he ever had any Con-
ception of. This he ever ftood to & was peremptory in (as what
he certainly knewj even to hisDeath. He muft be looked upon
;^3 capable o/jjidging i he had Opportunity to know ; He had
pradhfcd
^oo ReSedions 4J»J ObfcrvatioBS
pradifcd a great deal of Religion before, was exceeding ftriS
and cocfcientious, and had continued (o for a long Time ;
had various religious Affections, with which he often flattered
himfelf, and fometimcs pieafed himfelf as being now in a good
Eflate: And after he had thofe new Experiences, that began
in bis ConverfioD, they were continued to the End of hisLife;
long enough for him thoroughly to obferve their Nature, and
compare 'cm with what had been before. Doubtlefs he was
(9mp«s maitis ; and was at leaft one of fo good an Underfland-
ing and Judgment, as to be pretty well capable of difcerning
and comparing the Things that pafTed in his own Mind.
'Tis further obfervable, that his Religion all along operated
in fuch aManner as tended to confirm hisMind in ftieDcctrines
of Gee's abfolute Sovereignty, Man's univerfal and intire De-
pcndancc on God's Power and Grace, i^c. The more hisRe-
iigion prevailed in his Heart, and the fuller he was of di?ine
LovCjard of clear and delightful V'iews of fpiritual Things,and
the more his Heart was engaged in God*s Service ; the more
fenfible he was of the Certainty and tbeExccllency and Impor-
tance of thefe Truths, and the more he was affcded with tbem
and r«joyced in them. And he declares particularly, that
when he lay for a long while on the Verge of theeternalVVorld,
6ftcn expecting to be in thstWorld in a fewMinutes,yct at the
fame Time enjoying gre^r Serenity of Mind, and Ciearnefs of
Thcughr, and being mafi apparently in a peculiar Manner at
a Diftance from an enthufiaftical Frame, he at that TimeJ^w
dtarlj ibeTrutbof ibofe great Ds^rina €f theGsfpel, which are juft If
fiuti ice Doctrines of Grace, end never felt bimfeif fo capakU §f
ce^:infi rating tke Truth of them.
So that 'tis very evident, Mr. Braimrits Religion was wholly
cerrefpcndent to what is Cilied the Calvimjiical Scheme^ and
was the Effect of thofe Dofirincs applied to his Heart : And
certainly it cannot be denied, that the Effe^ was good, unlefs
we turn Athei-ls, or Deifls. I would afi:, whether there
be any fuch Tiling, in Reality, as Cbriflian Devstica f — If
there be, what is it ? What is its Nature ? And what its
')Mi\ Mealure ? Should it not be in a great Degree ? VVe read
ibundar.t'jy in Scripture, of hving God with all the Hearty with
alttte Siul^ with alt the MirJ^and with all the Strength, of Z)r-
' :^g inGsd^ o^i Rtjoycing in the Lyrd, Rrj cuing with Jef
.zkable ar-.d full of Glory, ^he SiuPs Magnifying the Lord ^
7- -'jiir.g fcr G:d, Hungring and ThirfUng after Righteoufnefs^
. . Sfj.'j hrtrr-^. f-.r. ^re L:Jig:ng it kaib to Gt^Ps JudgmtntSy
Preying
On the pncndi^ Memoirs. 30 1'
Praying to God with\Groaningi that cannot be uttered^ Mourning
for Sin with a broken Heart and contrite Spirit, kc. How full
is the Book of Pfalms, and other Pans of Scripture, of fuch
Things as theft; ! Now wherein do thefe Things, 33 exprefs*d
by and appearing in Mr. 5rfl/;7^r^, either iheThings themfelvcs
or their EfFe^s and Fruits, differ from the Scripturc-Reprc*
fentations ? Thefe Things he waj brought to by that f^range
and wonderful Transformation of the Man, which he called
his CoTtverfion. And don't this well agree with what is fo often
faid, in Old Teflament and New, concerning the giving of
a new Hearty creating a right Spirit, a being renewed in the 6'p/-
rit of the Mind, a being fanSiified throughout , becoming a new
Creature, &c ? Now where is there to be found an Jrminian
Converfion orRepent3nce,conrifting in fo great and admirable
a Change ? Can [hzArminians produce an Inflance, within this
Age, and To, plainly, within our Reach and View, of fuch a
Reformation, fuch a Transformation of a Man, to Scriptural
Devotion, Heavenly-Mindednefs, and true Chriflian Morality,
in one that before lived without thefe Things, on the Foot of
//^«>Principles,and through the Influence of thci^Dodtrines ?
And here, is worthy fo be confidered, not only theEfFedt of
Calvini/iical Doctrines ( as they are called ) on Mr. Brainerd
himfelf, but aifo the EfFe6l of the fame Dodtrines, as taught
and inculcated by him, on others. 'Tis abundantly pretended
and aflcrted of late, that thefe Doctrines tend to undermine
the very Foundations of all Religion and Morality, and to en-
ervate and vacate all reafonaWe Motives to the Exercifs and
Practice of them, and lay invincible Stumbling-Biocks be-
fore 7n/i^/i, to hinder their embracing Chri(tianity ; and that
the contrary Dofirines are the fruitfulPrinciples cf Virtue and
Goodnefs, fet Religion on it's right Bafis, reprefent it in an
amiable Light, fzive it's Motives their full Force, and recom-
mend it to the Reafon and common Senfe of Mankind. — ^\it
where can they find an Inffance of (o great and fignal anEffe«St
of their Dedrines, in bringing Infidels, who were at fuch a
Diftance from all that is Civil, Human, Sober, Rational, and
Chriftian, and fo full of inveterate Prejudices againft ihcfc
Things, to fuch a Degree of Humanity, Civility, Exercife of
Reafon, Self-denial, and Chrifiian Vertue ? ^miniam place
Religion in Mcraliiy : Let them br-ing an Infhnce of their
Doctrines producing fuch aTransformation of aPcoplc inPoint
GfMoraliiv. 'Tis flrangc, if the Al wife God fo ordersThings
in his Providence, that reafcuable a/iJ proper Means ^ and hit
3©2 Reflexions and Obfervations
cwn Means, which he hirofelf has appointed,(hould in no known
remarkable Inftance be inftrumental lo produce fo good an Ef-^
fc6l ; anEffe6l fo agreable to his own Word & Mind, and that
veryEfFe£l for which he appointed thefe cxceilentMeans ; that
' they fhould not be foSuccefsfuI^as thofeMeans which are nathis
own, but very contrary to 'eai> and of a contrary Tendency ;
Means that are in themfelves very abfurd, and tend to root all
Religion and Vertue out of the World, to promote and cfta-
blifli Infidelity,and to lay an infuperable Stumbling- Biock be-
fore Fagam, to hinder their embracing the Gofpel : I fay, if
this be the true State of the Cafe, 'tis certainly pretty won-
derful, and an Event worthy of fome Attention.
1 know, that many will be ready to fay, Jt is too /eon fety to
glory in tbelVork^ihat has hmivro't among Mr, BrsLinerd'sInc^iansi
^Tiybeft to wait and Jee the final Event \ Jtmay be^ all will come
U nothing by and by ; To which I anfwer ( not to infift, that it
will not follow, according to Jrminian Principles, they are not
nowtrueChriftians,realIypious& godly, the' ihey /hould i2\hw2iy
and come to nothing) that I never fuppofed, every one of thofc
Ja^;j»/,whoinProfcflion renounced their Heathenifm $c vifibly
embraced Chriftianity, and have had fome Appearance of
Piety, will finally prove true Converts : If two thirds, or in-
deed one half of 'em ( as great a Proportion as there is in the
Parable of the Ten Virgins) fhould perfevere ; it will be fuffici-
cnt to (hew the Work, wrought among them, to have been
truly admirable and glorious. But fo much of Permanence of
their Religion has already appeared, as Ihewsit to be fomething
elfe befides an Indian Humour or good Mood, or any tranfient
EfFeft in the Conceits, Notions, and AfFe6lions of thefe igno-
rant People, excited at a particular Turn, by artful Manage-
ment. For 'tis now more than three Tears ago, that this Work
began among them, and a remarkableChange appear'd in many
of them ; fmce which Time the Number of vifible Converts
has greatly increafed : And by repeated Accounts, from feve-
ral Hands, they ftill generally perfevere in diligent Religion and
flriil Vertue. I think worthy to be here inferted, a Letter from
a young Gentleman, a Candidate for the Miniftry, one of thofe
before mentioned, appointed by the honourable Commiflioners
InSqfionyZS MiiTionaries to theHeathen of the Six Nations^ fo
called ; who, by their Order, dwelt with Mr. John Srainerd,
among thefe Chriftian Indians^ in order to their being prepared
for the Bufinefs of their Miffion. The Letter wa$ written
from then^Cjio his Parents here in Nortjfempton^k is as follows.
' ' Bsthek
On the preaedifi^ Memoirs;
S€>^
Bethih m New-Jerfey, Jan. 14. 1747,$.
Honoured and dear Parents,
<« AFteralong and unccmfortable Journey, by Reafon of
^A «« bad Weather, I arrived at Mr. ^ro/'n/r^'s, the 6th
«< of this Inftant; where I defign to ftay this Winter : And
<« asyet, upon many Accounts, am well fatisfied with my
*« coming hither. The State and Circumftances of the 7/i-
<' dians^ fpiritual and temporal,much exceed what I expedlerf,
<^ I have endeavoured to acquaint my felf with the State of
*« the Indians in genera], with particular Pcrfons, and with
*« the School; as much as the fhort Time I have been hero
«« would admit of. And noiwithftanding my Expedationa
«« were very much raifed, from Mr. David Brainerd's Jour-
«^ nal, and from particular Informations from him; yet I
<« muft confefs, that in many Refpeds, they are not equal to
«< that which now appears to me to be true, concerning the
»« glorious Work of divine Grace arnongft the Indians,
«* The Evening after I came to Town, I had Opportunify
«« to fee the Indians together, whilft the Rev. Mr. Arthur
*« preach'd to them : At which Time there appeared a wtr^
<« general and uncommon Serioufnefs and Solemnity in the
«« Congregation : And this appear'd to me to be the EfFedt
<c of an inward Senfe of the Importance of divine Truihj,
<< and not becaufe they were hearing a Stranger : Which was
«« abundantly confirmed to me the next Sabbath, when there
<< was the fame devout Attendance on divine Service, and a
*« furprizing Solemnity appearing in the Performance of each
<c Part of divine Worfhip. And fome, who are hopefully true
«« Chriftiansjappear to have been atthatTime much cnliven'd
*« and comforted j not from any obfervableCommotions then,
<« but from Converfation afterwards: And others fecm'd ta
«« be under preffing Concern for their Souls. I have cndea-
«« voured to acquaint my felf with particular Perfons ; many
«' of whom feem to be very humble and growing Chriftians ;
*' altho' fome of them ( as I am informed) were before their
<« Converfion moft monftroufly Wicked.
*' Religious Converfation feems to be very pleafing and
<« delightful to many, and efpecially that which relates to
<« the Exercifes of the Heart. And many here don*t fecni
*« to be real Chriftians only, but growing Chriftians alfo ;
«' as well in do<3rinal, as experimental Knowledge. Bcfidofi
'« myConverfation with particularPcrfons,! have badOppor-
^' tunity to attend upon one of Mfi Brmnd'% catechetical
" R r l^^witn
oo^ Reflexions and Obfervations
*« Leisures ; where I was furprized at their Readlnefs in
<' anfwering Queftions which they had not been ufed to :
«« Altho' Mr. i^mwgr(i complained much of their uncommon
<« Deficiency, it is furprizing, to fee this People, who not
«« long fince were led Captive by Satan at his Will, and liv-
<« ing in the Practice of all manner of Abominations, with-
<« out the leaft Senfe even of moral Honefty, yet now living
•« foberiy and regularly, and not feeking every Man his own,
«< but every Man, in fome Senfe, his Neighbour's Good ;
«« and to fee ibofe, who but a little while paft, knew nothing
^ of the true GOD, now worfhipping Him in a folemn and
<« devout Manner 5 not only in publick, but in their Fami-
<« lies and in Secret ; which is manifeftly the Cafe ; it being
*« a difficuli: Thing to walk out in the Woods in theMorn-
<« ing, without difturbing Perfons at their fecret Devotion.
«' And it feems v/onderful, that this fhould be the Cafe, not
<« only with adult Perfons, but with Children alfo. It is ob-
«« fervabic here, that many Children ( if not the Children
<< in general) retire into fecret Places to pray. And, as far
«« as at prefent i can judge, this is not the EfFeft of Cuflom
*« and Fafhion, but of real Serioufnefs and Thoughtfulnefs
<* about their Souls.
" 1 have frequently gone into the School^ and have fpcnt
<< confiderabie Time there amongft the Children ; and have
«« been furprized to fee, not only their diligent Attendance
«« upon theBufmefsof theSchool,butalfo the Proficiency they
«« have made in it, in Reading and Writing, and in their Ca-
♦^ techifms of divers Sorts. It feems to be as pleafing and as
<< natural to thefe Children, to have their Books in theirFIands,
*« as ii does for many ethers to be at Play. I have gone into
«' an Houfe where there has been a Number of Children ^c-
<« cidentaily gathered together ; and obferved, that every one
«' had his Book in his Hand, and was diligently ftudying of
.<« it. There is to the Number of about thirty of shefs Chil-
<« drcp, who csn anfwer to all the Qiieflipns in the JJfemr
«« lihf'i^ Cafcchifm \ and the bigger Part of them are able to do
*' it with thePro^y^jr, to the fourth Commandnicnt. I v;ifh
«' there were many fueh Schools : I confefs, that I never was
*' acquainted with fuch an one, in many Refpc6!s. Oh that
"• what God has done here, may prove to be the Beginning
'• cifa hx more glorious and cxtenfive Work of Grace among
<< the Heathen. I am your cbsdicniand dutiful Son,
Job Strong,
« P.S. Since
On the preceeding Memoirs. 305
<c P, S. Since the Date of this, I have had Opportunity to
<« attend upon another oiMr. Brainerd's caiechcticalLedlures:
<« and truly I was- convinced, that Mr. Braim^rd &id not ccni"
« plain before of his People's Defedls in anfwering toQuefti-
« ons propofed, without Rcafon : For altho' iheir An/wen
" at that Time exceeded my Expectations very much ; yet
«« their Performances at this Lecture very much exce'edcd
Since this, we have had Accounts from Time to T me,and
fome very late, which (hew that Religion ftill continues in
profperous and moft defirable Circumftances among thefc
Indians,
V. Is there not much in the preceedingMemoirs ofMr/Src/-
nerdio teach, and excite toDuty,U9 who are called to the Work
of th^Mini/iry^ and all that siteCandidates for thatgreatWcrk?
What a deep Senfe did he feem to have of the Greatnefs and
Importance of that Work, and with what Weight did it lie
on his Mind ! How fenfible was he of his own lafufficiency
for this Work ; and how great was his Dependance on God's
Sufficiency I How folicitous, that he might be fitted for it !
And to this End, how much Time did he fpend in Prayer and
Fafting, as well as Reading and Meditation ; giving himjdf
to thefe Things ! How did he dedicate his whole Life, all his
Powers and Talents to God ; and forfake and renounce the
World, with all it's pleafing and enfnaring Enjoyments, that
he might be wholly at Liberty, to ferve Chrift in this Work ;
and to pleafe him who had chofen him to be a Soldier^ under -the
Captain of our Salvation ! With what Solicitude, Solemnity,
and Diligence did he devote himfelf to God our Saviour, and
feek his Prefence and Blefling in fecret, at the Time of his
Ordination ! And how did his whole Heart appear to be con-
ftantly engaged, his whole Time employed, and his whole
Strength fpent in the Bufinefs he then folemnly undertook and
was publickly fet apart to I And his Hiftory fliews us the
right Way to Succefs in the Work of the Miniftry. He fought
it, as a refolute Soldier feeks Vidory, in a Siege or Battle j or
as a Man that runs a Race, for a great Prize. Animated with
Love to Chrift and Souls, how did he labour always fervently ^
not only in Word and Dodtrine, in publick and private, but
\n Prayers Day and Night, wrejlling with God in fecret, and
travailing in Birth, with unutterable Groans and Agonies, ««-
til Chri/i wtre formed in the Hearts of the People to
R r 2 whonj
^5
Reflcftions and Obfervatiohs
whom he was fent ! How did he thirft for a Bleffing on his
Miniftry ; and watch for Souls, as one that muft give Account /
How did Yitgo forth in the Strength of the Lord God-, feeking
and depending on a fpecial Influence of the Spirit to aflift and
fuccccd him ! And what was the happy Fruit at laft, though
after long waiting, and many dark and difcouraging Appear-
ances I Like a true Son of Jacob, he perfevered in wrefth'ng»
through all theDarknefs of theNight, until the breaking of tha
Day.
And his Example of labouring, praying^denying himfelf,and
enduring Hardnefs, with unfalnting Refolution and Patience,*
and his faithful, vigilentjand prudent Conduft in many other
Refpedls (which it would be too long now particularly to re-
cite ) may afford Inftru61ion to Mifftonaries in particular.
VI. The foregoing Account of Mr. Brainerd*s Life may
afford Inftruftion to Chriftians in general; as it fhews,in many
Rcfpe<^s, the right Way of praSiifing Religion, in order to
obtaining the Ends of it, and receiving the Benefits of it ; or
how Chriflians (hould run the Race, Jet before them, if they
would not run in vain^ or run as uncertainly, but would ho-
nour God in the World, adorn their Profeffion, be Service-
able to Mankind, have the Comforts of Religion while the/
live, be free from difquieting Doubts and dark Apprehenfions
about the State of their Souls ; enjoy Peace in the Approaches
of Death, and finifh their Courfe with Jop In general, he
much recommended, for this Purpofe, the Redemption of Time ^
great Diligence in the Bufinefs of the Chriflian Life, Watchful'-
T^efs^ he. And he very remarkably exemplify'd thefeThings,
But particularly, his Example and Succcfs with Regard to
one Duty in fpecial, may be of great Ufe to bothMinifters and
private Chriftians 5 I mean, the Duty o( fecret Fa/ling, The
Reader has feen, how much Mr. Brainerd recomrnends this
Duty, and how frequently he exercifed himfelf in it ; Nor
can it well have efcap'd Obfervation,how much he wasown'd
and blefs'd in it, and of what great Benefit it evidently was to
bis Soul. Among all the many Days he fpent in fecretFafling
and Prayer, that he gives an Account of in his Diary, there is
(carce an Inftance of one, but what was either attended or foon
followed with apparent Succcfs, and a remarkable Bleffing^
in fpecial Incomes and Confolations of God's Spirit ; and
very often, before the D^y was ended.- But it muft be
pbfef v£d, that when he fee aboi^t this Duty, he did it in good
Earneftj
C» the pnceeding Memoirs. ^or
Earncft ; ^irrhg up hlmfelfu take hold o/GodyZnd coni'mulnz
injiant in Proyery with much of the Spirit of Jacob, v^ho
ikid to the Angel, 1 will not }et the go^ txcept thou blefs me.
VII. There is much in the preceding Account to excite
. and encourage God's People to carneft Prayers and Endea-
vours for the Mvancemtnt and Enlargement of the K'n^dom of
Chuist in the IVorld, Mr. Brainerdfat us an excellent Ex-
ample in this Refpedl : He fought the Profperity of Zion with
all his iMight : He prefer'd Jerufahm above his chief Joy.
\iov7 did his Soul long for it, and pant after it ! And how
earneftlv and often did he wreftle with God for it ! And how
far did he, in thefe Defircs and Prayers, feem to be carried
beyond all private and felfifh Views ! being animated by a
pure Love to Chrift, an earneft Defire of his Glory, and a
difinterefted AfFe£lion to the Souls of Mankmd.
The Cenfideration of this, not only oughc to be an Incitement
to the People of God, but may alfo be a juft Encouragement to
*cm, to be much in feeking and praying for a general Out-
pouring of the ^p\r\t of God, and extenfive Revival ofRcligion.
I confefs, that God's giving fo much of a Spirit cf Prayer for
this Mercy to fo eminent a Servant of his, and exciting him, in
fo extraordinary a Manner, and with fuch vehement Thirftings
of Soul, to agonize in Prayer for it, fromTime to Tjme.jthro*
the Courfe of his Life, is one Thing, among other?, which
gives me great Hope, that God has a Defign of accomplifhing
fomething very glorious for the Intereft of his Church before
long. One fuch Inflance as this, I conceive, gives more En-
couragement, than the common, cold, formal Prayers of
Thoufands. As Mr. Brainerd's Defires and Pravers for the
coming ofChrift'sKingdom, were vtry /pecial and extraordinary;
fo, I think, v/e may reafonably hope, that the God, who ex-
cited thofe Defires and Prayers, will anfwer them with fome-
thing y^^aa/ and extraordinary. And in a particular Manner,
do I think it worthy to be takenNotice of for ourEncouragmenr,
that he had his Heart (as he declared ) unufually, and beyond
what had been before, drawn out in Longirgs and Prayers for
theFlourifhing of Chrift's Kingdom on Earth, when he was in
the Approaches of Death ; and that with his d)ing Breath he
did as it were breathe out his departing Soul into the Bofom of
hisRedeemer, in Prayers andPantings after this gloriousEvent;
expiringin a very greatHopethat it would foon begin to be ful-
/i'ed. And 1 wifh, that the Tho'ts which he in h:s dying State
exprcffci
^oS Refledions and Obfcrvatloiis
cxpreficd of that explicitAgreementjand vifibleUnion of God's
People, in extraordinary Prayer for a general Revival of Reli-
gion, lately propofed in a Memorial from Scotland^ which has
been difperfed among us, maj/ be well confidered by thofethat
hitherto have notfeen fit to /all in with that Propofal. But
I forbear to fay any more on this Head, having already largely
publifhed my Thoughts upon it, in aDifcourfe written onPur-
pofe to promote that Affair ; which, Iconfefs,! wifh that every
one of myReadersmight be fupplied with ; not that my Honour,
but that this excellent Defign might be promoted.
As there is much in Mr. Brainerd^s Life to encourage Chri-
ftians to feek the Advancement of ChrifPs Kingdom, in gene-
ral ; fo there is, in particular, to pray for the Converlion oMhe
Indians on this Continent, and to exert themfelves in the Ufe
of proper Means for it's Accomplifhment. For it appears,
that he in his unutterable Longings and Wreftlings of Soul for
the Flourlfhing of Religion, had his Mind peculiarly intent on
tl-e Convcrfion and Salvation of thefe People, and his Heart
moreefpecially engaged in Prayer for them. And if we confi-
der the Degree and Manner in which he from Time toTime,
fought and hoped for an extenfiveWork of Grace among them,
I think, we have Reafon to hope, that the wonderful Things,
wbichGod wrought among them by him, are but aFore-runner
of fomething yet much more glorious and extenfivc of that
Kind ; and this rnay juftly be an Encouragement, to well-
difpcfed charitable Perfons, to honour the Lord with thsir Sub-
fiance^ by contributing, as they are able, to promote the fpread-
inc of theGofpel among them ; and this alfo may incite and en-
courage Gentlemen who are incorporated, and intrufted with
the Care and Difpofal of thofe liberal Benefa6lions, which have
already been made by piousPerfons, to that End ; andlikewife
the Mifiionaries themfelves, that are or may be employed ; and
it may be of Diredion unto both, as to the properQualifications
of MifTicnarics, and the proper Meafures to be taken in order
to their Succefs.
One Thing in particular, I would take Occafion from the
foregoing Hiftory to mention and propofe to the Confideration
of fuch as have the Care of providing and fending Ji^iJJionaries
amongSavages ; uiz. Whether it would not ordinarily be befl
to ftnd two together ? It is pretty manifeft, that Mr. Brainerd's
going, as he did, alone into the howling Wildernefs, was one
great Occafion of fuch a prevailing of Melancholy on hisMind;
which was his greateft D:fadvantage. He was much in fpeak-
M
On the preceedifjg Memo'rrs. 309
ing of it himfelf, when he was here in his dyingState ; and ex-
pre/Ted himfelf, to this Purpofe, that none could conceive of
the Difadvantage 3 Miffionary in fuch Circumftances was un-
der, by being alone ; efpecialJy as it expofed him to Difcou-
ragement and Melancholy : And fpokeof thcWifdoin ofChrift
in fending forth his Difciples by Two and Two ; and left it
as his dying Ad vice to his Brother, never to go to Sufquahannah,
to travel about in that remote Wildernefs, to preach to the
Indians there, as he had often done, without the Company of a
Fellow - A/liJfionary .
VIII. One Thing more may not be unprofitably obfervcd
in the preceeding Account of Mr. Brainerd ; and that is the
fpecial and remarkable Difpojal of divine Providence, with Re-
gard to the Circum/fances of his laft Skknefi and Death,
Tho' he had been long infirm, his Conftitution being much
broken by his Fatigues and Hardfliips ; and tho' he was often
brought very low by lllncfs, be'^ore he left Kaunaumeek, and
alfo while he lived at the Fsrks of Delaware : Yet his Life
was preferved, 'till he had feen that which he had Co long
and greatly defircd and fought, a glorious Work of Grace
among the hdians, and had received the wifhed for Bleflingof
(jod on his Labours. Tho* as it were in Deaths cft^ yet he
lived to behold the happy Fruits of the long continued Travail
of his Soul and Labour of his Body, in the wonderful Conver-
fion of many of the Heathen, and the happy Y.?it€i. of it in the
great Change of their Convcrfation, with manyCircumftances
which afforded a fair Profpe6t of the Continuance of God's
Bleffing upon them ; as may appear by what I fhall prcfently
further obferve Thus he did not depart, 'till his £)is
had feen God's Salvation,
Tho* it was the Pieafureof God, that he fliould betaken
clFfrom his Labours among that People whbm God had made
him a fpjriiual Father to, who were (0 dear to him, and whofe
fpiritual Welfare he was fo greatlvconcerned for ; yet this wai
not before they were well initiated and initrudled in the Chr il-
tian Relijrion, thoroughly wei^ned from their old heathenilh
and brutifb Notions and Pracf^ices, and all 'heir Prejudices and
Jealoufies, which tended to keep their Minds unfeitled, were
fully removed ; and they were confirmed and fixed in the
ChriftianFaiih and Manners, were formed into a Church, had
ecclefiafticalOrdinanccs and Difciplinc introduced h fettled ;
were brought into a good Way with Rtfpedt to the Education
of Children, h«d a School- Mallw fcni to' them ia Providence,
c^ccilcfitly
'5I* Reflexions and Obfervatiofjs
excellently qualified for the Bufincfs, and had a Scijool ki up
and eftabljfhed, in good Order, among them ; had been well
brought ofF from their former Idle, ftrolling, fottiih Way of
Living ; had removed from their former fcattered uncertain
Habitations ; and were colledled in aTown by themfelves, on
a good Piece of Land of their own ; were introduced into thej,
Way of living by Hufbandry, and begun to experience the
Benefits of it, b'r. Thefe Things were but jufl brought to
pafs by his indefatigable Application and Gare,an<i then he was
taken ofF from his Work by liinefs. If this had been but a
lictle fooner, they would by no Means have been fo well pre-
pared for fuch aDifpenfation ; and it probably would have been
unfpeakably more to the Hurt of their fpiritual Intereft, aijd of
the Caufe of Chrif^ianity among them.
The Time and Circumftances of his Illnefs were fo or-
dered, that he had juft Opportunity to finifh his Journal^ and
prepare it for the Prcfs ; giving an Account of the marvellous
Display of divine Power and Grace among the7»^/fl»; in NeW'
'^erfey^ and at the Forh of Delaware : His doing which was a
Thing of great Confequence, and therefore urged upon him
by the Correfpondents^ who have honoured his Journal with a
Preface. The World being particularly and juflly informed
of that Affair by Mr. Brainerdy before hisDeath, a Foundation
was hereby laid for a Concern in others for that Caufe, and
proper Care and Meafures to be taken for the maintaining it
after his Death. As it has actually proved to be of greatlnflu-
cnce andBenefit in thisRefpe6t ; it having excited and engaged
many in thofe Parts, and alfo more diliant Parts of Jmerica^ to
exert themfelves for the upholding and promoting fo good and
glorious a Work, remarkably opening their Hearts and Hands
to that End : And not only in America^ but in Great Sritairig
where that Journal ( which is the fame that I have earnefily re-
commended to my Readers to pofTefs themfelves of) has
been an Occafion of feme large Benefadlions, made for the
promoting the Intereft ofChriftianity among the Indians, ——If
Mr. Srainerdhzd been taken 111 but a little fooner, he had not
been able to compleat this his Journal, and prepare a Copy for
the Prefs.
He was not taken cfFfrom the Workof theMinif!ry among
his People, 'till his Brother was in a Capacity and Circum-
ftanccs to fucceed him in hisCare of them : Who fucceeds him
in the like Spirit, and under whofe prudent and faithful Care
his Congregation ha« flgurilhed, and been very h^ppyj fincehc
^ - ' ~ J;ft
On the freceeding Memoirs. « , t
left them ; and probably could not have been fo well provided
for, other wife. If Mr. Brainerd h^d been difabled fooner, his
Brother would by no Means have been ready to ftand up in' his
Place 5 having taken his firft Degree at College but about
that very Time that he was feiz'J with his fatal Confump-
tion. ^
Tho' in that Winter that he lay fick at Mr. Dickinfon's in
Eltfabeth'Town^ he continued for a long Time in an extremely
low State, fo that his Life was almoft dcfpair'd of, and his
State was fometimes fuch that it was hardly expedled he would
live a Day to an End 5 yet his Life was fpared a while longer ;
he lived to fee his Brother arrived in JSJew-Jerfey^ being come
tofucceed him in theCare of his Indians ; and he himfelf had
Opportunity to affift in his Examination and Introdudion into
hisBufinefsj and to commit the Conduct of his dear People
to One whom he well knew, and could put Confidence in and
ufe Freedom with in giving him particular Inftru^ions and
Charges, and under whofe Care he could leave his Congrega-
tion with great Chearfulnefs.
The Providence of God was remarkable in fo ordering of
it, that before his Death he (hould take a Journey into New-
Eng/andyZnd go to BoJ?on : Which was, in many Refpe(5ls, of
very great and happy Confequence to the Intereft of Religion,
and efpecially among his own People. By this Means, as
has been obfervcd, he was brought into Acquaintance with
many Perfons of Note and Influence, Minifters and others,
belonging both to the Town and various Parts of the Coun-
try ; andhad'Opportunity, under the beft Advantages, to bear
a Teftimony for God and true Religion, and againft thofe faife
Appearances of it that have proved mofl pernicious to the
Interefts of Chrifl's Kingdom in the Land. And the Provi-
dence of God is particularly obfervable in this Circumftance
of the Teftimony he there bore for true Religion ; viz. That
he there was brought (o near the Grave^ and continued for fo
long a Time on the very Brink of Eternity ; and from Time
to Time, look'd on himfelf, and was looked on by others, as
juft leaving the World ; and that in thefe Circumftances
he (hould be (o particularly directed and affifted in his Tbo'fs
and Views of Religion, to diftinguifh between the true and
the falfe, with fuch Clearnefs and Evidence ; and that after
this he (hould be unexpe6tedly and furprizingly reftored and
ftrengthned, fo far as to be able to converfe freely ; and have
fuch Opportunity, and fpecial Occafions to declare ibeScnti-
' S f meiit?
212 Refledions and Obfefvations
ments he had in thefe, which were, to human Apprehenfion,
his -3) ing Circumftances ; and to bear his Teftimony concern-
ing the Nature of true Religion, and concerning the mifchie-
vous Tendency of it*s moit prevalent Counterfeits and falfe
Appearances ; as Things he had a fpecial, clear, diftindView
of at thst Time, when he expelled in a few Minutes to be
in Eternity ; and the Certainty & Importance of which were
then, in a peculiar Manner, imprefs'd on his Mind«
Among the happy Confequences of his going to BoJion^wetQ
thofe Hberal Benefadions that have been mention'd, which
were made by pious difpofed Pcrfons, for the maintaining and
promoting the Intereft of Religion among his People : And
alfo the meeting of a Number of Gentlemen in Bo/fon, of Note
and Ability, to confult upon Meafures for that Purpofe ; who
were excited by their Acquaintance and Converfation with
Mt,Brawerd, ^n6 by the Account of the greatThings God had
wrought by his Miniftry, to unite themfelves, that by their
joint Endeavours and Contributions they might promote the
Kingdom of Chrift, and the fpiritual Good of their Fellow-
Creatures, among the Indians in New-Jer/ejfyTLnd elfewhere.
It was alfo remarkable, that Mr. Brainerd fhould go fo
Bcficn, at ihst Time ; after the hanourable Commiffioncrs
there, of the Corporation ia Ltndon for propagating thcGofpel
in New- England and Parts adjacent, had received Dr. IVil-
liam's'Lig^cy for (he maintaining of two Miifionaries among
the Heathen ; and at a Time when they having concluded on
a MifBon to the Indians of the Six-Nations (fo called ) were
lookii:g out for fit Perfons to be imployed in that Important
Service. This proved an Occalion of their committing to him
the AfFaii of finding and recommending fuirable Perlons :
Which has proved .a fuocefful Means of two Perfons being
fjund and actually appointed to that Bufinefs ; who feem to
be well qualified for lU and to have theirHearts greatly engaged
in it : One of which nes been folemnly ordain'd to that Work
in fiojion^ and is now gone forth to one of thofe Tribes, who
have appeared well-difpofed to hisReception : It beingjudged
not convenient for the other to go 'till the next Spring, by
Rcafon of his bodily Infirmity. * Thefe-
* The Appomanent of ihefe Gentlemen to this Miffion
has been blthirto much fmiled on ia Providence j as in
Other Re]pci5isf,_fopHrticuiaiIy in the wonderful opening
of
On the preceeding Memoirs. 3 1 ^
-Thefe happy Confequences of Mr. ^r/2/«^r^'s Journey to
^opn would have been prevented, in Cafe he had died, when
he was brought fo near to Death in jSJewJerfey. Or if after
he c »m- firft to Northampton ( vvherd ha was much at a Lofs
and long dehberating which Way to bend his Courfe ) he had
determined not to go to Bo/im.
The Providence of God was obfervable in hi^ going to
Sojion at aTimc when not only the honourableComnjifiioncrs
wfere feeking Mi^onaries to the Six Nations ; but jult after
his Journal^ which gives an Account of his Labours and Suc-
cefs among the Jadiam^had been received and fpread in^o/hn .-
Whereby his Name was known, and the Minds of lerirjus
People were well prepared to receive his^Peifon, and the
Teftimony he there gave for God ; to exert themTelves for
the upholding and promoting the Intereft of Religion in his
Congregation, and amon^fl the /«^/^»j elfewhcre j and to
regard his Judgment concerning the Q^iaiifications of Mi{riC'
naries, ^c, U he had gone there the Fall before (when he had
intended to have made his jo-^rney into New-Englayid, but
was prevented hy afudden greatlncreafe of his Jilnefs) it would
not have been likely to liave been in any Meafurc to To good
EiFe6l : And aifo if he had not been unexpecSledly detained in
Bo/ion ; For when he v/cnt from my Houfe, jhe intended to
make but a very fhort Stay there ; But divine Providence by
his being brought fo low there, detain'd him long ; theicby
to make Way for the fulfilling it's own gracious Ddigns.
The Providence of God was remarkable in fo ordering, tiiat
altho' he was brought To very near thcGrave \v\Bcfion^ that it
was not in the leafl expected he would ever come alive out
of his Chamber ; yet he wonderfuily revived, and was prc-
ferved feveral Months longer : So that he had Opportunity to
fee, and fully to converfe with both h\syoun<i,dx Brethren before ^
he died ; which wasaThing he greatly delircd ; and cfpccially ^
to fee his Brother John,\v\ih whom wa^left theCarc of hisCon"
gregation -, that he might by him be fully informed of their
of the Hearts of many to contribute libcr;»lly to fo excel-
lent aDefign ; bcfides the B^nefadions in /;ry?o«,aNumbcr
of Perfons at Norihompton with much Chcarfulncfs have
given about jT. i6o fold 1 enor ) ; and a particular Pcr-
fon in Spritipficla has devoted a conficlerablc Part of Ms
Eflare to this inter efh
S f 2 State
^T^ Rcfleftions and Obfcr^tions
State, and might leave with him fuch Inftruflions and Direc-
tions as were requifite in order to their fpiritual Welfare,
and to fend to them his dying Charges and Counfels. And
he had alfo Opportunity, by Means of this Sufpenfion of hit
Death, to find and recommend a Couple of Perfons fit to be
employed as Mijianaries to the 5/> Nations^ as had been dcfircd
of him.
Thus, altho' it was the Pleafureofa fove reign God, that
he fhould be taken away from his Congregation, the People
that he had begotten through the Gofpel, who were fo dear
to him ; yet it was granted to him, that before he died he
Ihould fee them well provided for^ every Way : He faw them
provided for with One to inftrud them,and take Care of their
Souls ; his own Brother, whom he could confide in : He faw
a good Foundation laid for the Support of the School among
them ; tbofe Things that before were wanting in order to it,
b:;ng fupplicd : And he had the Profpedl of a charitable Society
being eftabliflicd, of able and well-difpofed Persons, who feem
to make the fpiritual Intereft of his Congregation their own ;
whereby he had a comfortable View of their being well-pro-
vided for, for the future : And he had alfo Opportunity to
leave all his dying Charges with his SuccefTor in the Paftoral
Care of his People, and by him to fend his dying Counfels to
them. Thus God granted him to fee all Things happily fettled,
or in a hopeful Way of being fo^ before his Death, with Re-
fpe^l to his dear People — And whereas not oiily his ownCon-
grcgation, but the Souls of the Indiam in North- America in
general, were very dear to him, and he had greatly fet his
Heart on the propagating and extending the Kingdom of
Ch:ifi among 'em ; God was pleafcd to grant to him (however
it w;is his Will, that he fhould be taken away, and fo fhould
not be the immediate Ir.f^rument of their Infiru6lion andCon-
yerfion, yet ) that before his Death, he fhould fee unexpedled
rxiraordin^ry Provilion made for this alfo. And 'tis remarka-
ble, that God not only allowed him to fee fuch Provifion made
for the maintaining the Interefi of Religion among his own
People, and ♦hePropagation of it elfewhere ; but honoured him
by making him theMeans or Occ fion oi it. So that it is very
probable, however Mr. Brainerd^ during the lafl four Months
of his Li/e, was ordinarily in an extremely weak and lowState^
very often f^drcttly able to fpeak ; yet that he was made the
if«ihument oi- Means of much m.ore Good ia that Space of
Timc^
On the f receding Memoirs. ^ i -
Time, than he would have been if he had been well, and m
full Strength of Body. Thus God^i Power was manifeftcd ia
J)is fVeaknefsyZnd iheLt/e of ChriJI was ntanifefted in his mortal
Flejh.
Another Thing, wherein appears the merciful Difpofal of
Providence with Refpedt to his Death, was, that he did not
die in the Wildernefs, among KhQ^z^TLgts^^iKaunaumtekyOx the
Forks of Delaware^ or at Sufquahannah-y but In a Place where
his dying Behaviour and Speeches might be obferved and rc-
membred, and fome Account given of them for the Benefit of
Survivors ; and alfo where. Care might be taken of him in his
Sicknefs, and proper Honours done htm at his Death.
The Providence of God is alfo worthy of Remark, in fo
over-ruling and ordering the Matter, that he did not finally
leave abfolute Orders for the intire fuppreffing of his private
Papers ; as he had intended and fully refolved, infomuch that
all thelmportunity of hisFriends could fcarce reftrain him from
doing it, when fick at Sofion* And one Thing relating to
this is peculiarly remarkable, v/z. that his Brother, a little
>before his Death,' fliould come from the J^r/^yj unexpeded,
and bring hhDiary to him,tho* he had received nofuchOrder.
So that he had Opportunity of Accefs to thefe his refcrvcd Pa«
pers, and for reviewing the fame ; without which, it appears,
he would at laft have ordered them to be wholly fupprefs*d :
But after this, he the more readily yielded to the Defires of
his PViends, and was willing to leave them in their Hands to
be difpofed of as they thought might be moft for God's Glory :
By which Means, he being dead, yet fpeaketh, in thcfeMcmoirs
of h.s Life, taken from thofe private Writings : Whereby it
is to be hoped he may ftill be as it were the Inftrument of
much promoting thclntereft of Religion in this World ; the
Advancement of which he (o much dcfired, and hoped would
be accomplifh'd after his Death.
If thefc Cir.cumftances of Mr. ^ramerd's Death be duly
confidered, I doubt not but they will be acknowledged as a
notable Inftance.of God's Fatherly Care, andCovenant F-iiih-
fulnefs towards them that are devoted to him, and faithruliy
Terve him while they live ; whereby he never fails nor forfakis
them, but is with them living and dyini^ ; fo that whether the;
live, they live to the LORD ; or whether they die,they die to the
Lord ; and both in Life andDeath they are own'd and taken
Cafe oi as /^j..-'Mr.^rjTnr;ihimrclf as was before obferved,
Wii
3i6
Reflc6lioi« and Obfervations (^c.
was much in taking >foticc ( when near his End ) of th£ mer-
ciful Circumftances of his Death ; and faid, fpom Time to
Time, that God had granted him all his Defire.
And 1 would not conclude myObfervations on the merciful
Circumftances of Mr. Brainerd?^ Death without acknowledg-
ing withThankfulnefs, the graciousDifpenfation of Pfovidence
to me and my Family, in fo ordering, that he ( tho' the ordi-
nary Place of his Abode was more than 200 Miles diftant )
(hould be caft hither, to my Houfe, in his laft Sicknefs, and
{hould die here : So that we had Opportunity for much Ac-
quaintance and Converfation with him, and to fhew himKind-
nefs in fuch Circumftances, and to fee his dying Behaviour,
to hear his dying Speeches, to receive his dying Counfels,
and to have the Benefit of his dyingPrayers. May God in in-
finite Mercy grant, that we may ever retain a properRemem-
brance of thefe Things, and make a due Improvement of the
Advantages we have had, in thefe Refpeds I The Lord grant
alfo, that the foregoing Account of Mr. Brainerd\ Life and
Death may be for the great fpiritual Benefit of all that fhall
icad it, and prove a happy Means of promoting the Revival of
true Religion in thefe Parts of the World. Amen.
5f U ^ 3 :S>.
w.
-^^\-
ciscl
^B^
E RRAT A. Pag. 57. 1. 24. r. rcfitfliU Pjg. 219'
Marg. Not: f in."i)'t. r Davs before.
^mm^
BOOKS printed for and fo^d by D. Henchman at
his Shop over againji the Old Brick Meeting- HoU/^
in CornhilL Jf ^
V •
^Toddard*i Safety of appearing in thcRighteoufnefs of Chrift.
^ — His Guide to Chrift.
Shepard's Sincere Convert.
-— Sound Believer.
Appleton's Wifdom of GOD in thsRedcmption of fallenMan,
— Difcourfes from Rom, viii. 14. Setting forth the cicareft
and fureft Marks cf our being fo led by the Spirit of God
as to demonftrate that wc axe the Children of God.
Pemberion's Pradlcal Difcourfes, I. The Dignity & Glory
of Man's Primitive State. 11. The Nature aiij Neceflity of
Converfion, IJI. The Rcafcnahienefs of ftriving to obtain Sal-
vation. iV. The iVIethod of Divine Grace in Converfion.
V. The Nature and Obligation of Receiving Chrift by Faith.
VI. The Duty of imitating the Example of Christ.
VII. The Folly of iofing the Soul fox the Gain oith^fVorld,
Dr. Watt'^ Guide to Prayer.
An Account of the Life and Death of Mrs. Elizabith
Bury,
The Marrow oF Modern Divinity. Touching the Cove-
nant of Works, and the Covenant of Grace. In a Dia-
logue between a Miniller of the Gorpel--a Legaliit — an
Antinomian — and a young Chriftian.
Dr. Colman's Difcourfes on the Incomprehenfiblenefs of
GOD.
Spiritual Songs— Or Songs of Praifc, with Penitential
Cries to Almigkty GOD upon fcvcral Occafisnj. Together
v/ith the Song of Songs which is Solomons.
Ho9ker*s Doubting Chrijiian drawa to. Christ.
Uri^^'i Nature an4 Ncce.Tity of the New-Bif(h.
Edwardi 's
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Edwards's Humble Attempt to promote explicit Agrey
ment and vifible Union of God's People in extraordina^"
Prayer for the Revival of Religion &c.
Holmei's Good Governmei;t of Chriftian Families recom-
mended. With a Difcourfe of fecret Prayer.
Wright's Treatife of beirg born again, without which
no Man can be faved.
jilltine's Alarm to the Unconverted.
Fox on Time and the End of Time.
Huffil's ^tytn Sermons.
Udeedy {Jo/huo) Praaical Difcourfe concerning the Bene-
iit of Communion with GOD in his Houfe.
Mather's Apology for the Liberty of the Churches in
New-England* To which is prefixed a Difcourfe concerning
Congregational Churches.
Barnard's Sermons on feveral Subjects, viz* A Confirma-
tion of the Truth of the Chriftian Religion. Compel them
to come in. The Chriftian Hero, or the Saints Vi^ory and
Reward.
Jfilliams (Solomon) Christ the King and Witnefs of
Truth, and the Nature Excellency and Extent of his
Kingdom as founded in Truth and only promoted by it*
Some Remarkable PafTages in the Life of the Hon> Col.
James Gardner, who was ShmditPrtj^on-Fans, With
a Sermon by P. Dodridge, D. D,
Meditations on feveraj divine Subjeds. I. The Humanity
pf Christ. JI. The Extcnfivenefs of God's good Dcfign
In felling Jo/eph into Egypt. III. Christ the King fitting
at his Table. IV. Of the Love of Christ and faving
Knowledge of it. With a Letter to a Friend.
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