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Full text of "A collection of songs, comic and satirical, chiefly in the Newcastle dialect ..."

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COLLECTIOJi 

OP 

SONGS, 

CHIEFLY INTHB 

NEWCASTLE DIALECT, 

Acd illuitracive of the Langiuige and Mannerg of ths Common 
People on the Banks of the Tyne and Neighbourhood. 

BT 

T. THOMPSON, J. SHIELD, W. MIDFORD, 
H. ROBSON, AND OTHERS. 



NEWCASTLE UPON TYNE: 

PMNTED BY JOHN MARSHALL, 

IN THE OLD FLKSH-MARKET. 



1827 




Digitized by VjOOQ IC 



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THC 

EDITOR'S ADDRESS. 

XN editing a more extended collection of lecal 
Songs, descriptive of the language and manners of the 
common People of Newcastle upon Tyne and the 
Neighbourhood, the Editor claims little merit beyond 
that of giving to what some will designate " aicy no-i 
things, a local habitation and a name." One impor- 
tant consequence of the general diffusion of education, 
among the labouring classes has been to destroy, in 
great part, that marked difference of character which 
formerly existed between the higher and lower grades 
•f civilized society ; and nothing perhaps has contri- 
buted more to this purpose than the publication, from 
time to time, of those local Songs, so familiar in their 
phraseology to the comprehension and understanding of 
all classes, in which the peculiarities of each are forcibly 
depicted, and in some cases humourously caricatured. 

These who are best acquainted with, and have been 
most observant of, the language and manners of the 
common people of this part of the kingdom will, it is 
presumed, admit that their general character has fully- 
kept pace with the means of improvement presented 
to them, and that they are, generally speaking, better 
informed and more intelligent than those of their own 
class in most other parts of the country. 

Our Keelmen and Pitmen have generally been the 
common subjects of satire for our local Poets ; but, in 
attempting to describe the character of these useful 
bodies of men, the Poets appear often to have claimed 
their privilege, and given, instead of faithful portraits, 
only rude caricatures ;-^delineations not characteristic 
of the Keelmen and Pitmen of the present day. 

One thing worthy of notice is, that a very striking 
difference exists between our Keelmen and Pitmen, both 
in moral and physical character. The former, a hardy 



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ii 

race of men^ pursue an employmtnt congenial to their 
health and muscular strength, possess strong feelings of 
independence, aad have shewn^onsome important oc- 
casions, that they are not easily subdued ; whilst, on the 
other hand, our Pitmen, who labour under ground, in 
an atmosphere generally contaminated with noxious va- 
pours, seldom arrive at the common stature of men, and 
at an e^arly period of life put on the appearance of age 
and decrepitude — Servile in their habits and manners, 
they possess little of that self-respect and feeling of inde- 
pcfpdence which generally characterise the Keelmen, 
and too often become the dupes of illiterate, " penny- 
hunting hypocrites," the apostles ef the most degrading 
superstitions — the result of ^rhich must necessarily be, 
the deterioration of their moral character. 

A few words on what is called the Newcastle Dialect 
must suffice. This being a border town, was, befove 
Uie union of the two kingdoms, subject to continual 
incursions from the Scotch ; and after the union great 
numbers of them settled here. The historians of the 
town tell us that most of oyr keelmen were originally 
from Scotland. This accounts for our dialect and ac- 
cent being in great part Scottish. What is called the 
bur, or forcible guttural pronunciation of the letter r^ 
i€ not, as has been commonly thought, peculiar to 
Newcastle ; it is observable in several other places in 
Northumberland, in some parts of Scotland, and is 
quite the fashionable pronunciation in Paris, whence 
it is thought to have been originally derived. Some 
of our gentry who, in this respect, affect to ape the 
dialect of their more southern neighbours, drop the 
letter altogether in their pronunciation, and instead of 
gridirion will talk glibly of the gidion, oast beef, &c. 
The clear and forcible pronunciation of this letter has 
been ably pointed out as a peculiar beauty of our Ian- 
gua^^e, by the celebrated lecturer, Mr. Tlielwall. 

Newcastle, Decs, 1 6, 1826. 



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t^e Contents. 



Weel may the Keel Row ^ ^ ^ ** 5 
Weel may the Keel row that gets the Bairns 1 q- 

their Bceed ^ ** ^ J 

New Keel Row, by Thomas Thompson'' ^ ** 5 
Canny Newcassel Ditto ^ -^ 7 

Jemmy Joneson's Whurry Ditto ** -^ 10 

Newcastle Election Song Ditto «« '^ IS 

Bonny Keel Laddie ^ ^ ^ .v% IS 

Maw Canny Hinny ^ ^ ^ ^14 

Little Pee Dee ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ 15 

Amphitrite, by Robert Gilchrist ^ ^ ^ l§ 
Jenny H owlet, or Lizzie Mudie's Ghost, by Do. 17 
The Collier's Keek at the Nation, by Ditto ^ 83 
Blind Willie Singing, by Ditto ^ ^ ^ 85 
Bold Airchy and Blind Willie's Lament on the 1 ^^ 

Death of Capt. Starkey, by Ditto ^ J 
The Quack Doctors, by Ditto ^ ^ ** 88 
A Voyage to Lunnin, by Ditto ^ ^ ^ 9^ 

Tommy Thompson, by Ditto -^ 128 

Farewell to the Tyne, by Ditto ^ ^ ^129 
Northumberland Free o' Newcassel, by Ditto ^ 130 
Coaly Tyne ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ 18 

Tyne, (The) by John Gibson ^ ^ ** 20 
Nanny of the Tyne ^ ^ -^ ^21 

Bob Cranky's Adieu, by John Shield ^ ^ 22 
Bonny Gyetsiders, by Ditto ** -.* . ^ 2S 
My Lord 'Size, by Ditto ^ ^ ^ 9^ 

Barber's News, or Shields in an Uproar, by Ditto lOl 
O no, my Love, no, by Ditto -^ ^ -^105 



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THE CONTENTS. 

Bob Cranky's 'Size Sunday, by John Selkirk ^ 25 

Bob Cranky's 'Leamnation Neet ^ «« «« 28 

Swalwell Hopping -^ *^ «^ «« 30 

Winlaton Hopping, by John Lennard -^ «•»- 33 

Skipper's Wedding *<% «/« «« ^ 35 

Newcastle Fair ^ «% ^ •^ ^ 37 

Quayside Shaver «« «^ ^ ^ ^ 39 

Sandgate Girl's Lamentation ^ ^ «% 41 

Water of Tyne ^ •* ^ ^ «« 43 

Newastle Signs, by Cecil Pitt -^ ^ ^ ib 

Collier's Rant ^ ^ ^ ^ .^ 44 

Pitman's Revenue against Bonaparte ^ ^ 45 

Pitman's Courtship, by William Midford *^ 47 

Cappy, or the Pitman's Dog Ditto ^ 49 

X Y Z at Newcastle Races Ditto ^ 50 

Eagle Steam Packet Ditto ^ 53 

Wonderful Gutter Ditto ^ 54 

Tyne Cossacks ' Ditto ^ 56 

Pitman's Ramble, Ditto ^ 58 

Pitman's Skellyscope Ditto ^ 60 

Loyal Militia Man Ditto ^ 6\ 

Masquerade at Newcastle Theatre, Ditto ^ 63 

New Fish Market Ditto ^ 125 

St. Crispin's Procession Ditto ••• IfiO 

St. Crispin's Volunteers, by Ditto ••• *^ l6l 

Kitty Port Admiral at the Bench, by Do. «% 141 

Newcastle Races> by fVm. Watson »* «« 66 

The Glister «^ «% ««%%«« 68 

The Baboon ** •» ^ ^ ^ 69 

Till the Tide comes in «« «^ »* %« 70 

Sandgate Lassie's Lament *««%«« t6. 

The Politicians, by T. K Valentine ^ *^ 71 

Billy Oliver's Ramble «% »* «% ^74 

Bob Cranky's Account of Sadler's Balloon ^ 75 

Green's Balloon «« *% . «% «^ ^ 78 

Newgate Street Petition to Mr. Mayor «% «% 80 



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THE CONTENTS. 

Newcassel Props ^ ^ ^ ♦^ ^ gS 

Newcttfisel Wonders ^ ** ** ^ 95 

Tim Tunbelly ^ ^ *^ ^. ^ 96 

Bonaseus (The) ^ <^ ** ^ ^ I06 

Shields' Chain Bridge ^ ^ ^ ** 1 08 

Colliew' Pay Week, by Henry Robson ^ v^ IJO 

Tyne(The) by Do. ^ *. 1 16 

The Spring by Do. ^ ^117 

Parson Malthus by Do. ^ ^118 

Peter W^aggy by Do. _ ^119 

Bessy of Blyth by Do. ^ ^120 

To Anna by Do. .. ^ 121 

Nancy Wilkinson by Do. ^ ^ 73 

Lassie's Answer to Kelvin Grove by Do. ^ ibid 

To Mr Peter Watson ** ^ ^ ^122 

Fishwives' Complaint, by R, Emery ^ ^124 

Come up to the Scratchy by Do. *^ ^ 1 52 

Pitman's Dream^ by Do. ^ ... 154 

■ ■ ■ ' - Description of the Kitchen, by Do. ^ 1 56 

Hydrophobic, by Do 158 

Newcastle Wonders, or Hackney Coach Customers 149 
New Year's Carol for the Fishwives, by Mr. Ross 126 

Jcsmond Mill, by Phil. Hodgson ^ ^ 127 

Dochess and Mayoress «« ^ ^ ^131 

Newcastle Assizes-^Duchess v. Mayoress ** 183 

The Coal Trade •^ •* ** ^ ^ 135 

Tom Carr and Waller Watson ** ^ ^137 

Johnny Scott and Tommy Carr, a Dialoinie ^ 13Q 

The Owl ^ ^ ^ \. 1 •. 142 

Lovely Delia ♦* •• ^ ^ ** 144 

PandonDean ^ ^ ^ ^ ** 145 

Nanny of the Tyne ^ ^ ^ ^146 

Newcastle Hackneys ^ ^ ^ —147 

Newcastle Hackney Coaches ** ** ** 148 

Newcastle Improvements, by R. Charlton ... 151 

Famed Filly Fair - 163 



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THE CONTENTS. 

Tiniey's best Blood— a North Shields Song ^ 166 

Newcastle Noodles^ by James Morrison ... ibid 

Burdon's Address to his Cavalry, by Do. ^ • 83 

Vicar's Loyal Address ••• ^ -^ ^168 

Newcastle Privy Court ... ^ 170 

Misfortunes of Roger and his Wife 172 

Newcastle Theatre in an Uproar ^ ... 173 

Farewell, Archy -^ ... 175 

Sir Tommy made an Odd Fellow 177 

Wreckington Hiring ... ^ 178 

On Russell the Pedestrian 181 

Simpson the Pedestrians Failure ... 182 

The Victory, or the Captain done over 1 S3 

The Alarm, or Lord Fauconberg's March ... 185 

i^unday Eve, or Lord Fauconberg's Heel ... 187 

The Half Drowned Skipper 195 

Keelmen and the Grindstone, by Wm. Armstrong 165 

Newcastle Worthies, by Ditto ... 1 96 

Invitation to the Mansien-house Dinner in hon- 1 ^ q^^ 
our of the Coronation j ^ 

Newcastle Swineherds' Proclamation 199 

The Golden Horns, or the General Invitation ... 201 

Loyal Festivities, or Novel Scenes at Newcastle ihiJ 

Picture of Newcastle ••• S04 

Newcastle in an Uproar ... ... 206 

Coronation Day at Newcastle ... ... ... 209 

Coronation Thursday ... 211 

Attempt to Remove the Custom- House, in 1816 218 

Quayside Ditty, for February, 1816 2I9 

The Custom House Tree, &c 22 1 

The Custom House Branch ... ... ... 22S 

Bob Fudge's Postscript 226 

To the Independent Free Burgesses of Newcastle 227 



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NEWCASTLE SONGS. 



K^ WEEL MAY THE KEEL ROW. • 

AS I cam thro' Sandgate» thro' Sandgate, thro' Sanc]gate> 
As I cam thro' Sandgate^ I heard a lassie sing — 

Weel may the keel row, the keel row, the keel row, 
Weel may the keel row that my laddie's in. 

He wears a blue bonnet, hitie htfttnet, blae bcmtiet, 
He wears a blue bonnet, « dimple in his chin : 

And weel may the keel row, the keel row, the keel row. 
And weel may the keel row thai my laddie's in. 

^ THE NEW KEEL BOW, 

BY *TVO«IA» tirefttpso^. 

WHE's like my JohnDj^ 

Sae leish, sae blithe, ade bonny I 

He's foremost 'lasang the monny 

Keel lads 9' Co»ly Tyne; 
He'll set or row tae tig^y. 
Or in the da^mWy sae sjpvightly,. 
He'll cut and shuffle sightly, 

'Tta taru#— wcfe he not mine. 
A 



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Tint CHORUS. 

NeiN 

Weel maj the keel row. 
The keel row, tl^e keel row, 
Weel may the keel row 
That my laddie's in : 
He wears a blae bonnet, 
A bonnet, a bonnet. 
He wears a blue bonnet, 
A dimple in fais chhi. 

He's nae mair o' leaming. 
Than tells his weekly earning. 
Yet reet frae wrang discerning, 

Tho' brave, nae Inruiser he ; 
Tho' he no worth a plack is. 
His awn coat on his back is. 
And nane can say that black is 

The white o* Johnny's e'e. 

He takes his-quairt right dearly, • 
Each comin' pay-day, nearly. 
Then, talks O, latin 0,—cheerly, 

Or mavies jaws away ; 
How caring not a feather. 
Nelson and he together. 
The springey French d|d lether. 

And gaPd them shab away. 

Were a' kings comparely. 
In each I'd spy a fairly, ' 
An' ay wad Johnny barly, 

He gets sic bonny bairns ; 
Go bon ! the queen, or misses^ 
But wad, for Johnny's kisses, 
Luik upon, as blisses. 

Scrimp meals, caff beds, and dairna. 



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Wour lads, like their deddy, 
To fight the French are ready ; 
Bat gie's a peace that's steady. 

And breed cheap as lang syne ; 
May a* the press-gan^ parish. 
Each lass her laddy charish : 
Lang may the Coal Trade flourish 

Upon the dingy Tyne. 

Breet Star o' Heaton, 
You're ay wor darling sweet-on' ; 
May heaven's blessings leet on 
Your lyedy, bairns, and ye ] 
God bless the King and Nation f . 
Each bravely fill his station : 
Our canny Corporation, 
Lang may they sing, wi' me, 

Weel may the keel row, &c. 

CANNY NEWCASSEL. ^/ v./ 

'BOUT Lunnun aw'd heerd ay sec wonderful spokes^ / 

That the streets were a' cover'd wi' guineas : ^ 
The bouses sae fine, an' sec grandees the folks^ 

Te them huz i' th' North were but ninnies. 
But aw fand maw sel blonk'd when to Lunnun aw gat. 

The folks they a' luick'd wishy washy ; 
For gowld ye may howk till ye're blind as a bat. 
For their streets are like wors — ^brave and blashy ! 
'Bout Lunnun then divent ye myek sic a rout. 

There's nowse there maw winkers to dazzle ; 
For a' the ^ne things ye are gobbin about 
We can marra iv Canny Newcassel. 

A Cockney cbep show'd me the Tyems* druvy fyace, 
Whilk he said was the pride o' the nation ; 

And thought at, their shippin aw'd myek a haze«gaze ; 
But aw whop'd maw foot on his noration. 
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Wr hu2, man, three hondrtd ahipf sftQ iv % ffcle. 

We think nowse on't, aw']l myek accydarj : 
Ye're a gowk if ye din't kiuw tluit the lads o' Tyne-side 

Are the Jacke that myek famish wer Navy. 
'Bout Lunoaiiy &c« 
We went big St. PiibFs and Westminster to see. 

And aw war'nt ye aw thought they luick'd pritty : 
And then we'd a keek at the Monument te ; 

Whilk maw friend ca*d the Pearl o' the City. 
Wey hinny, says aw, we've a Shot Tower sae hee. 

That biv it ye might scraffle to heaven ; 
And if on Saint Nichohis ye once cus an e'e, 

Ye'd crack on't as lang as ye're livin. 
'Bout Lunnun, &c. 
We triidg'd to St. James's, for there the King lives. 

Aw wam'd ye a good stare we tyuk on't ; 
By my faicks f it^s been birilt up by Adam's awn neeves. 

For it's aud as the hills, by the leuk on't. 
Shem bin ye ! says aw, ye should keep the King douse. 

Aw speak it without ony malice: 
Aw own that wot Mayor rather wants # new house. 

But then — wor Jnfirm'ry's a palace. 
*Bout Lunnun, &c. 
Ah hinnies ! out cdm the King, while we were there, 

His leuks seem'd to say. Balms, be happy ? 
Sae down o' my hunkers aw set up a blare^ 

For €rod to preserve him frae Nappy : 
tot Geordy aw'd dee— -for my loyalty's trig. 

And aw own he's a geod leuken mannie ; 
But if .wor Sir Matthew ye buss iv his wig. 

By gocks ! he wad leuk just as ouuiy. 
'Bout Lunnun, &c; 
Ah hinnies ! about us the lasses did lowp. 

Thick as curns in a spice singin humie ; 
Some and, and some hardly flig'd ower the dowp^ 

But aw kend what they were by their whinnic : 



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Afi ! manniey B9yu nw, ye ber monnj 9 tighl; girl. 
But aw'm tell'd they're, oft het i' their trappini 

Aw'd cuddle much miiber a lass i' the Sworl, 
Than the dolls i' the. Strand, or i' Wappiiu 
'Bout Lnminn^ &c 

Wiy a' the MvaVagin aw wanted a munch. 

An' maw thn>p|^ was ready to gtzen ; 
So we went tiv a y^i-house, and tiMre tyuk a lunch. 

But the reckoning, me saul f was a bison. 
Wiv huz i' tlie North, when aw'm wairsh i' mj way, 

(But t' knaw wor warm hearts ye y«r sell come) 
Aw liflt the first latch, and bakh man and dame say, 

" Cruck your houfb, eanny maja, for ye'xe veleome." 
'Bout Lunnun, &c. 

A shilling aw thought at the Play-house aw'd ware. 

But aw jump'd' there wivheuk finser'd people ; 
Me pockets gat rip'd, an' aw heerd them ne mair 

Nor I could fra Saint Nicholas's steeple. 
Dang Lunnun ! wor Play-fionse aw like just as weel, 

And wor pl^^oUs: aw's sine are as fanny t 
A shillin's worth: sarves me tp laugh tiU aw squeel, 

Nae hallion those tbriminels maw money. 
'Bout Lunnun, &c 

llie loss o' the cotterels aw dkwa re^j^aird. 

For aw've gotten some wbite-heft o' Lunnun ; 
Aw've leai^'d to prefer my awn canny calf-yaird ; 

It ye catch me mair fra't ye'll be cunnun. 
Aw Jcnaw tiiat the Codkneys crack rum-gum'shus 
chimes, - 

To myek gam dP wor bur and wor 'pard ; 
But honest Blind WiVley shall string this iv rh^meai. 

And we'll singed ibr a Chrissenmas CarpL 
'Bout Lunnun, &e. 



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10 
JEMMY JQNESON'S WHURRY. 

BY THE SAME. 

WHEI, Cavers, biv the chimlay reek, 

Be^ox 1 it's all a horney ; 
For thro* the world aw wisht to keek. 

Yen day when aw waa eomey : 
Site, wiv some varry canny chiels. 

All on the hop. an' murry^ 
Aw thowt aw*d myek a voyge to Shiels, 

Iv Jemmy Jcmeson's Whurry« 

Ye niver see'd the Church sae scrudg'd. 

As we wur there thegither ; 
An' gentle, semple, throughways nudg'd. 

Like burdies of a feather : 
Bund Willie, a' wor joys to croon. 

Struck up a hey down deny ; 
An' crouse we left wor canny toon, 

Iv Jemmy Joneson's Whurry. 

As we push'd off, loak ! a' the Key 

To me seem'd shuggy-sfaooin : 
An' tbo' aw'd niver been at sea. 

Aw stuid her like a new-on'. 
And when the Malls began their reels. 

Aw kick'd maw heels reet murry ; 
For faix ! aw lik'd the voyge to Shiels, 

Iv Jemmy Joneson's Whurry. 

Quick went wor heels, quick went the oars ; 

An' where me eyes Wur cassin. 
It seem'd as if the bizzy shores 

Cheer'd canny Tyne i' passin. 
What ! hez Newcassel now nae end ? 

Thinks aw, it's wondiouf, vurry ; 
Aw thowt aw'd like me hfit to spend 

Iv Jemmv Joneson's Whurry. 



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11 

Tyne-ride seem'd dad wiv btinny ha'fl. 

An' furnaces sae dunnjr ;' 
Wey this man be what Bible ca's, 

** The knd ov milk and hoaey V 
If a' thor things belang'd tiv I^ 

Aw'd myek the poor reet murry ; 
An' cheer the folks i' gannin by, 

Iv Jemmy Joneson's Whurry. 

Then on we went, as nice as owse. 

Till nenst au'd lAzzj Moody's ; 
A whirlwind cam an' myed a' souse. 

Like heaps o' babby hoodies. 
The heykin myed me vurry wauf. 

Me heed turn'd duzzy, vurry ; 
Me leuksy aw'm shure, wad spyen'd a cauf, 

Iv Jemmy Joneson's Whurry. 

For hyem an' bairns, an' maw wife Nan, 

Aw yool'd eot like a Inbbart ; 
An' when aw thowt we a' sbud gan 
• To Davy Jones's cubbart. 
The wind bee-baw'd — aw whish'd me squeels, 

An' yence mair a' was murry ; 
For seun we gat a seet o' Shiels, 

Frev Jemmy Joneson's Whurry. 

Wor Geordies now we thrimmel'd oot. 

An' tread a' Shiels sae dinny; 
Maw faix ! it seems a canny sprout. 

As big maist as. its minny ; 
Aw smack'd thir yell, aw climb'd thir bree. 

The seet was wondrous, vurry ; 
Aw lowp'd sec gallant ships to see, 

Biv Jemmy Joneson's Whurry. 

To Tynemouth then aw thowt aw'd trudge. 

To see the folks a' dackin ; 
Loak ! men an' wives togither pludg^3> 

While hundreds stood by iaikin« 



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Amang the Mtt aw eowp^d «c ereels^ 
£bf gox ! 'twas Ainny, vurry : 

An' so aw «fid me voyg« to Shiels^ 
Iv Jemmy Joncson'a Whurry. 



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NEWCASTLE ELECTION SONG. 

BY TBI SAME. 

Suog by the Author, tt the Election Dinner, »t th« Turk's Head 
Inn, Bi(g*Mar)(et9 on Saturday, Oct, 10, 1312. 

WHEN joy wakes the Muse, though her accents are 
glowmg. 

Yet wildly and hurried they swell thro' the lay : 
While ardour less warm night, in lines softly iowing. 

Give voice to our feelings, and hail this proud day. 
Hail, Ei^i^isoir, Senator ! what title greater 

Could call forth thy energies, all Uiy mlnd^s force ? 
Be thou as a Star, which, responsive ^o Nature, 

Both chears and illumines our path in its oowse. 
When won by thy eloquence, warm'd to tmotioo. 

The Citizens c^eer'd thee with pUodits of si«id ; 
Each greeting voioe aworo thee an oath of devotiop. 

Thy talents, thy Ule, to the Bationul WOfJ. 

While Wellington, leading the soldiers of Britain, 

Eclipses the glcnries of Greece and of Rome, 
Old England might smUt 'midst the dangers that 
threaten. 

Did nought vex 9r biaa our Gouncili alt home* 
A tool to no party, a dave lo no pessMin» 

No wishes but tjiose which ftein lesfr^^ viNrkif ; 
Unmov'd by the bvet^o of poUtkal isshiev. 

His meed the apphuiso A bis Coanlry end Kinf, 
Thus Statesmen should b% and our eoontry would 
flourish. 

Still prouder would st^d on the records of Fiune— 
Nor shadows one doubt the warm wishes we cherish. 

Such merits will blazon Qur Ellison's name. 



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13 

Hail« BiDLEY i the Mus«^ which, in rutfe local verses. 

Oft sung of thy Sire, bids her greetings be thine ; 
With Ellison's worth she thy worth too rehearses. 
And both your proud nsmes in one wreath would 
entwine. 
Alike high in honour, both ardently glowing 

With Patriot Zeal» in Britannia's cause ; 
Both proud of the source whence your honours are 
flowibg. 
Our Town's smiling Commerce, its Rights and its 
Laws. 
May health give you powers to keep pace with your 
spirit ; 
And while in the Senate you worthily shine. 
As Burgesses, Patrons, idike may you merit 
The blessings of every Cottage on Tyne. 

BONNY KEEL LADDIE- 

MAW bonny keel laddie, maw canny keel laddie. 
Maw bonny keel laddie for me, O ! • . 

He sits in his keel, as black as the Deil, 
And he brings the white money to me^ O. 

Ha' ye seen owt o' maw canny man. 

An' are ye sure he'a wccl» O? 
He's gsas0 ower land» wiv a stick in his haml. 

To nelp to moor the keel, O. 

The canny keel laddie, the bonny keel laddie, 

Tbe canny ked laddie for me, O ; 
H« sits in his hudrlock, and ckws his bare buttock» 

And bring! the ivhite money to me, O. 



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14 

MAW CANNY HINNY. 

WHERE hest te been, maw canny hinny ? 

An* where hest te been, maw bonny bairn ? 
Aw wa« up and down, seekin for maw hinny. 

Aw wa8 thro' the town seekin for maw bairn : 

Aw went up the Butcher Bank and down Grundin 

Chare, 
Call'd at the Dun Cow, but aw cuddent find thee there. 

Where hest te been, maw canny hinny ? 

An' where hest te been, maw bonny bairn, &c. 

Then aw went t' th* Cassel-garth, and caw'd on Johnny 

Fife, 
The beer*drawer tell'd me she ne'er saw thee in her life. 
Where hest te been, &c 

Then aw went into tbe Three Bulls' Heads, and down 

the Lang Stairs, 
And a' the way alang the Close, as far aa. Mr Mayor's. 
Where hest te been, &c. 

Fra there aw went alang the Brig, and up to Jacbon'a 

Chare, 
Then back agyen to the Cross Keys, but cuddent find 

thee there. . 

Where hest te been, &c. 

Then comin out o' Pipergate, aw met wi' Willy Rigg, 
Whe teird me that he saw thee stannen p-^hin on the 
Brig. Where hest te been, &c. 

Comin alang the Brig agyen, aw met wi' Cristy Gee, 
He tell'd me et he saw thee gannin down Humeses 
entery. Where hest te been, &c 

Where hev aw been ! aw seun can tell ye that; 

Comin up the Kee, aw met wi' Peter Pratt; 

Meetin Peter Pratt, we met wi' Tommy Wear, 

And went to Humeses t' get a jill o' beer. : ^ 



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15 

There's where aw've been, inaw canny hinny. 
There's where aw've been, maw bonny lamb ! 
Wast tu up an' down seekin for thee binny ? 
WaBt tu up and down seekin for thee lamb ? 

Then aw met yur Ben^ and we were like to fight. 
And when we cam to Sandgate it was pick night : 
Crossin the road, aw met wi' Bobby Swinny.— 
Hing on the girdle^ let's hev a singin hiimy. 

Aw me sorrow's ower, now aw've fund maw hinny ; 
Aw me sorrow's ower, now aw've fund maw bairn ; 
Lang may aw shout. Maw canny hinny ! 
Lang may aw shout. Maw bonny bairn ! 

THE LITTLE PEE DEE. 

'TWAS between Hebbron and Jarrow, 

There cam on a varry Strang gale. 
The Skipper luik'd out o' the haddock. 

Crying '^ Smash, man, lower the sail ! 
*' Smash, man, lower the sail ! 

*' Or else to the bottom well go !" 
The keel and a' hands wad been lost. 

Had it not been for Jemmy Munro. 
Fallal, &c. 

The gale blew stranger an' stranger. 

When they cam beside the Muck Hoose, 
The Skipper cry'd out — * Jemmy, swing 'er !' 

But still was as fear'd as a moose. 
Pee Dee ran to clear the anchor, 

'' It's raffled !" right loudly he roarM : 
They a' said the gale wad sink her, 
. If it was n't seun thrawn owerboard. 
The laddie ran sweaten^ ran sweaten. 

The laddie ran sweaten aboot ; 
Till the keel went bump against Jarrow, 
' And three o' the bullies lap oot : 



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16 

Thcae o* the bniliet lap oai 

And left njen in but Htde Pee Dee ; 

Who ran aboat litam^ng and crying-^ 
*' Bcfw ! smath, Ski(>per, wiiat man aw dee ?*' 

They all tho^ted out fra the Kee^ 

** Steer her close in by the 8h<»re ; 
*" And dien thraw the painter to rae, 

*' Thou OBt-fyaoed ton of a whore !^ 
The lad threw the {Minter ashore^ 

They laftenM her up to the Kee: 
But whe knawa how Ult the might gy«n* 

Had it not been for little Pee Dee. 

Then into the huddock they gat. 

And the flesh they began to fry : 
the talk'd o' the gale as they aat. 

How a' hands were lost — very nigh. 
The Skipper voar'd out for a drink; 

Pee Dee ran to bring him the can : 
But odsmash 1 mun« what d'ye think ?~ 

He cowp'd a' the flesh out o' the pan i 
Fal lal, && 

f THE AMPHITRITE. /i,^§M:^ 

FRA Team Gut to Whitley, wi' coals black and ^own. 
For the Amphitrite loaded^ the keel had com*d down ; 
But the bulUes ower neet had their gobs sue oft wet. 
That the nyem o* the ship yen and a' did foiytft. 

To find out the nyem xu>w «aeh worried his iShefifj 
And claw'd at his hjpe^ fit to murder tihe lops — 
When the Skipper, wlie biii^y waaalwafpa mostlirighty 
:Swore the pawhcgger h^ggiA mm caU'd Empty Kite. 

Fra the Pmnt xoind Am Xiict, «' ibr lime aadift' alow, 
£ach bully kept bawlii^ '' Tfaa ISm^ Eitcu ho !" ^^ 
But their blaian' was wun^ 4ar naa Anfity Site there, ^ ' 
Tho' they blair'd till their kites mm bycth empty and 
sair. 



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17 

A* slavOTn'^.tbc Skipper ca'd Geordy and Jen, 
For to gan to NewcsMK) and ax the reet njem ; 
The youngest he thought myeat to Uame in thit bor«^ 
So Pee Dee and hia marrow were e^cn pa^d ashore. 

Up Shields Road as they trudg'd in their myest worn- 

* oQt soles. 
Oft corsin' the Empty Kite, Skipper, and coals ; 
At the sign o' the Coach they byeth ca'd, it befeU, 
To mourn their hard ca^e, an' to swattle some yell. 

Here a buck at a sirloin hard eating was seen, ^ 
Which he said wi' the air myed his appetite keen : 
** Appetite T' cried the bullies — like maislins they star'd. 
Wide gyepin* wi' wonder, till " Crikes!" Jemmy blair'd. 

** The Appetite, Geordy I smash dis thou hear that ? 
The very outlandish, cuU nyem we forgat 
Bliss the Dandy ( ibr had he not telPd us the nyem. 
To Newcassel we'd wander'd byeth weary and lyem !" 

To Shields back they canter'd, and ^eun, fra the keel, 
Raur'd " The Appetite, bo !" 'neuf to fir^htcn the deik 
Thus they fund out the ship, cast their coab in a s wet. 
Still praiain' the dandy that day they had met 

' ^iien into the huddock, weel tir'd, they aH gat. 
And of Empty Kite, Appetite, lang they did chat ? 
When the Skipper discover'd, mair wise than a king, 
Tho' not the syem word, they were much the syem thing 

THE JENNY HOWLER, 

OR Ltzai£ mudib's ouost* h-^t^/^ 

SUM time since, a Skipper was gawn U his keel, 
His heart like a lion, his fyace like the Deil : 
He was steering his-sel, as he*d oft dnin before. 
When at an'd Lissie Mudie*s his keel ran ashore. 

Fal de ral la, &c. 



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18 

Thf Skipper was vest when hia keel gat.ashor^ 

So for Geordy and Pee Dee he loudly diet roar : 

They lower'd the sail — but it a' waddent dee ; 

Sae he elick'd up a coal^ and maist fell'd the Pee Dee. 

Fal de ral la, &c. 
In the midst of their trouble, noT knaw'n what to do, 
A voice from the shore gravely cried out, Hoo ! H6o ! 
How now. Mister Hoo Hoo ! is thou myekin fun ? 
Or is this the first keel that thou e*er saw af^run' ? 

Fal de ral la, &c. 
Agyen it cried " Hoo ! Hoo I" the Skipper he stampt. 
And sung out for Geordy to heave out a plank : 
Iv a raving mad passion he curs*d and he swore, 
Aw'il hoo- hoo thou, thou b — r, when aw cum ashore ! 

Fal de ral la, &c. 
Wiv a coal in each hand, ashore then he went^ 
To kill Mister Hoo-hoo it was his intent : 
But when he gat there, O what his surprize ! 
When back he cam running — O, Geordy ! he cries. 

Fal de ral la, &c. 
Wey, whe dis thou think hex been myekin this gam ? 
Aw'U lay thou my wallet thou'U not guess his nyem : 
" It's the Ghost of au'd Liszie !'' O no, no, thou fool, it 
Is nae Ghost at all, but-*-iin au'd Jenny Howlet ! 

Fal de ral la, &c. 

COALY TYNE. 

Tune ** Auld Lang Syne." 

TYNE river, running rough or smooth. 

Makes bread for me and mine ; 
Of all the rivers, north or south. 
There's none like coaly Tyne. 

CHORUS. 

So here's to coaly Tyne, my lads. 

Success to coaly Tyne ; 
Of all the rivers, north or south, 

There's none like coaly Tyne. 



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19 

Long bas Tyne's swelling bosom borne 

Great ricbes from the mine. 
All by ber bardy sons uptorn-— 

Tlie wealtb of coaly Tyne. 

Our kaelmen brave, with laden keels. 

Go sailing down in line. 
And with them load the fleet at Shields, 

That sails from coaly Tyne. 

When Bonaparte the world did sway, 

Dutch, Spanish did combine ; 
9y sea and land proud bent their way. 

The sons of coaly Tyne. 

The sons of Tyne, in seas of blood, 

Trafalgar's 6ght did join. 
When led by dauntless Collingwood, 

Tbe hero of the Tyne. 

With courage bold, and hearts so true, 

Form'd in the British line; 
Wilh Wellington, at Waterloo, 

Hard fought the sons of Tyne« 

When peace, who would be Volunteers ? 

Or Hero Dandies fine ? 
Or sham Hussars, or Tirailleura?— 

Disgrace to coaly Tyne. 

Or who would be a Tyrant's Guard, 

Or shield a libertine ? 
Let Tyrants mviet their due reward. 

Ye sons of coaly Tyne. 

Let us unite, with all our might. 

Protect Queen Caroline ; 
For her will fight, both day and night, 

The sons of coaly Tyne.* 

■ r ' ■ ' ■ " ... ■ , ■ ■ . 

* This Soog was written during the Trial of the Queen, in 1 830. 



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20 
THE TYNE. 

BY JOHN OIBSOK. 

ROLL on thy way, thrice happy Tyne ! 
Commerce and riches still are thine ; 
Thy sons in every art shall shine, 
And make thee more majestic flow. 

The husy crowd that throngs thy sid^^ 
And on thy dusky bosom glides. 
With riches swell chy flowing tides. 
And bless the soil where thou dost flow. 

Thy valiant sons, in days of old. 
Led by their Chieftains, brave and bold, 
Fought not for wealth, or shining gold. 
But to defend thy happy shores. 

So e-en as they of old have bled» 
And oft embraced a gory bed, . 
Thy modem sons, by Patriots led. 

Shall rise to shield thy peace-crownM shorts. 

Nor art thou blest for this alone^ 

That long thy sons in arms have shone ; 

For every art to them is known» 

And science, form*d to grace the mini 

Art, curbM by War in former dajs^ 
Has now burst forth in one bright blaze ; 
And long shall his refulgent rays 

Shine bright, and darkness Je^ve behind. 

The Muses too, with Freedom crown'd* 
Shall on thy happy shores be fo^nd^ 
And fill the air with joyous fioun^ 
Of — War and darkness* overthrow. 

Then roll thy way, thrice bi^ppy Tyna ! 
Commerce and riches still are thine ! 
Thy sons in arts and arms shall shine. 
And make tbee stiR majestic flow. 



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SI 



NANNY OF THE TYNE. 

IVHILST bards, in strains that sweetly flow. 

Extol each nymph so fair. 
Be mine my Nanny's worth to shew^ 

Her captivating air. 
What swain can gaze without delight 

On beauty there so fine? 
The Graces all their charms unite 

In Nanny .of the Tyne. 

Far from the noise of giddy courts 

The lovely charmer dwells ; 
Her cot the haunt of harmless sports. 

In virtue she excells. ' 
With modesty, good nature join'd. 

To form the nymph divine ; 
And trut^, with innocence combined. 

In Nanny of the Tyne. 

Flow on, smooth stream, in murmurs. sweet 

Glide gently past her cot, 
'Tis peace and virtue's calm retreat,— 

Ye great ones, envied not. 
And you, ye fair, whom folly leads 

Through all her paths supine, 
Tho' drest in pleasure's garb, exceeds 

Not Nanny of the Tyne. 

Can art to nature e'er compare. 

Or win us to believe ' 
But that the frippery of the fair 

Was made but to deceive. 
Strip from the belle the dress so gay^ 

Which fashion calls divine. 
Will she such loveliness display 

As Nanny of the Tyne. 
B 



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22 
BOB CRANKY'S ADIEU- 

BY JOHN SHIELD. 

FAREWEEL, fareweel, maw comely pet! 
Aw's fourc'd three weeks to leave thee ; 
Aw's doon for parmeni duty set, 

O dinna let it grieve thee ! 
Maw hinny ! wipe them een, sae breet. 

That mine wi' love did dazzle ; 
When tha heart's sad can mine be leet ? 
Come^ ho'way get a jill o* beer 
Thee heart to cheer : 
An' when thou sees me mairch away. 
Whiles in, wfailee oot 
O' step, nae doot, 
** Bob Cranky's gane/' thou'lt soblnng say^ 
*' A sowgering to Newcassel !" 

Come, dinna, dinna whinge an' wnipe. 

Like yammering Isbel Mackey ; 
Gbeer up, maw hinny 1 ket thee pipe. 

And tyek a blast o' badcy ! 
It's but for yen an' twenty days. 

The folks's een aw'll daazle, — 
Prood, swaggering i' maw fine reed daes : 

Ods heft ! maw pit claes dist thou hear ? 
Are wauTse o* wear ; 
Mind cloot them weel when aw's away ; 

An* a posie goon 
( Aw'll buy thee soon. 
An' thou's drink thee tea— aye, twice a-day. 

When aw come fra Newcassel. 

Becrike 2 aw's up tiT every rig, 

Sae dinna doot, maw hinny 2 
But at the blue styeu o' the Brig 

Aw'll ha'e maw mairchin guinea* 



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23 

A guinea ! wuks ! tae strange a leet. 

Maw een wi' joy wad dazzle; 
But aw'U hed spent that verra neet— 

For money^ hinny ! owre neet to keep» 

* ^Vad brick mnw sleep : 
Sae, smash ! aw think't a wiser way, 
Wi' flesh an' beer 
Mesel' to cheer. 
The lang three weeks that aw've to stay, 

A sowgering at Newcassel. 

But whisht ! the Saiijeant's tongue aw hear» 

" Fa' in ! fa' in !" he's yclpin : 
The fifes are whuslin' lood an' clear. 

An' sair the drums they're skelpin. 
Fareweel, maw comely ! aw mun gang. 

The Gen'ral's een to dazzle ! 
But, hinny ! if the time seems lang, 
An' thou freets aboot me neet an' day ; 
Then come away. 
Seek out the yellhouse where aw stay. 
An* we*ll kiss an' cuddle; 
An' moimy a fuddle 
Sail drive the langaome hears away^ 
When sowgering at NewcasaeL 



THE BONNY GYETSIDERS. 
Tailed* Jkh Cranky." 

COME, marrows, we'^e happen'd to meet now, 
Sae wor throppke together we'll weet now ; 
Aw've myed a new sang, 
And to sing ye't aw lang, 
For it's about tbe Bonny Gyetsiders. 
B 2 



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Of a' the fine Volunteer corpses, 
Whether footmen, or ridin' o' horses, 

'Tween the Tweed and the Tees, 

Deel hae them that sees 
Sic a corpse as the Bonny Gyetsiders. 

Whilk amang them can mairch, turn, an' wheel sae ? 
Whilk their guns can wise off half sae weel sae ? 

Nay, for myeking a craek, 

Through England aw'll back 
The corps of the Bonny Gyetsiders. 

When the time for parading nigh hand grower, 
A' wesh theirsels clean i' the sleek troughs : 

Fling off their black duddies. 

Leave hammers and studdies. 
And to drill — run the Bonny Gyetsiders. 

To Newcassel, for three weeks up-stannin. 
On Parmanent Duty they're gannin ; 

And seun i' the papers 

We's read a' the capers 
O' the corps o' the Bonny Gyetsiders. 

The Newcassel chaps fancy they're clever. 
And are vauntin' and braggin' for ever ; 

But they'll find theirsels wrang. 

If they think they can bang. 
At sowg'rin', the Bonny Gyetsiders. 

The Gen'ral sail see they can lowp dykes. 
Or mairch thro' whins, lair whooles, and deep sykes ; 
Nay, to soom (at a pinch) 
Through Tjrne, waddent flinch . 
The corps o' the Bonny Gyetsiders. 

Some think Billy Pitt's nobbit hummin. 
When he tells aboot Bonnepairt cummin ; 

But come when he may. 

He'll lang rue the day 
He first meets wi' the Bonny Gyetsiders; 



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Like an anchor shank> smash I how they'll clatter 'iin. 
And turn 'im, and skelp 'im, and batter 'im ; 
His byens sall« by jing ! 
Like a fryin-pan ring. 
When he meets wi' the Bonny Gyetsiders. 

Let them yence get 'im into their taings weel, 
Nae fear but they'll give 'im his whwngs weel ; 

And to Hezlett's Pond bring 'im. 

And there in chains hing 'Im : 
What a seet for the Bonny Gyetsiders ! 

Now, marrows, to shew we're a' loyal, 
And that, wi* the King and Blood Royal, 

We'll a' soom or sink, 

Quairts a piece let us drink. 
To the brave and the Bonny Gyetsiders* 

BOB CRANKY'S 'SIZE SUNDAY. 

BY JOHN SELKIRK. 

HO'WAY and awll sing thee a tune, man, 
'Bout huz seein' my Lord at the toon, man : 

Aw's seer aw was smart, now 

Aw'U lay thee a quart, nqw, 
Nyen them aw cut a dash like Bob Cranky. 

When aw pat on maw blue coat that shines sae. 
Me jacket wi' posies sae fine, see. 

Maw sark sic sma' threed, man. 

Maw pig-tail sae greet, man ! 
Odsmash ! what a buck was Bob Cranky. 

Blue stockings, white clocks, and reed garters, 
Yellow brceks, and me sfaoon wi' lang quarters^ 
Aw myed wor bairns cry, 
£h ! sarties ! ni I ni ! 
Sic varry fine things 1^ Bob Cranky. 
B S 



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Aw went to au'd Tom's and fand Nancy ; 
Kiv aw^ Lass^ thou's myed to me fancj ! 

Aw like thou aa weel 

As a stannin-pye heel, 
Ho'way to the town wi* Bob Cranky. 

As up Jenny's backside we were bangin', 
Ki' Geordy, How \ where are ye gannin' ? 

Wey t' see roe Lord 'Sizes, 

But ye shanna gan aside us. 
For ye're not half aae fine as Bob Cranky. 

Ki' Geordy, We leeve i' yen raw, wyet, 
r yen corf we byeth gan belaw, wyet, 
At aw things aw'vc play'd. 
And to hew, aw'm not flay'd, 
Wi' sic in a chep as Bob Cranky. 

Bob hez thee at lowpin and fiingin, 
At the bool, foot- ball, clubby, and swingin: 
Can ye jump up and shuffle. 
And cross owre the buckle. 
When ye dance ? like the clever Bob Cranky. 

Thou knaws, i' my hoggars and drawers, 
Aw'm nyen o' your scarters and clawers : 

Fra the trap door bit laddie 

T' the spletter his daddie, 
Nyen handles the pick like Bob Cranky. 

Sae, Geordy, od smash my pit sarik I 
Thou'd best baud thee whisht about warik. 

Or aw'U sobble thee body. 

And myek thee nose bloody, 
If thou sets up thee gob to Bob Cranky. 

Man laugh'd — ^to church we gat without 'im ; 

The great crowd, becrike, how aw hew'd'em 1 
Smasht a keel-bully roar'd. 
Clear the road I whilk's my Lord? 
Owse aae high as the noble Bob Cranky. 



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27 

Aw \nf ttf>» and catch'd just ii short gliff 
O' Lord Trials, the Trumpets and Sheriff, 

Wi' tiM Utile bit mamiies, 

Sae fine and sae canny, 
Ods heft ! what a iseet for Bob Cranky ! 

Then away we set off to the yeU-house, 
Wiv a few hesrtr kisaes an* fellows : 

Aw teird ower the wig, 

Sae currd and sae big ; 
For nyen saw't sae weel as Bob Cranky. 

Aw gat drunk, fit, and kick*d up a racket, 
Rove me breeks and spoird a* me fine jacket ; 

Nan cry'd and she cuddled. 

Maw hinny, thou's fuddled, 
Ho'way hyem, now, me bonny Bob Cranky ! 

So we staggered alang fra the toon, mun. 
Whiles gannin^ whiles byeth fairly doon^^ mun ; 

Smash, a banksman or hewer. 

No, not a fine viewer. 
Durst jaw to the noble Bob Cranky. 

What care aw for maw new suit, a* tatters, 
Twee black een«<»^ smash a' sic matters ! 
When me Lord comes agyen, mun, 
Awll strive, ev'ry byen, fiiun. 
To bang a^ wor conaarn, ki' Bob Cranky. 

O' the flesh an' breed day, when wor bun, mun, 
Aw'll buy cistsB fsLv bonnier than thon, mun ; 

For, od aoasb my nyavel ! 

As lang aa wour yebble. 
Let's keep up the day I ki' Bob Cranky. 



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28 

BOB CRANKY'S LEUM'NATION NEET. 

For the Victory obtained at Waterloo. 

LORD Sizes leaks weel in coach 8hinin% 
Whose wig wad let Nan's heed an' mine in ; 
But a bonnier seety 
Was the Letim'nation neet^— 
It dazzled the een o' Bob Cranky. 

Aboot seven aw gov ower warkin^ 
Gat beard ofi; an' put a white sark on ; 

For Newcasslers, thowt aw, 

Gif they dinn't see me braw. 
Will say, '* What a gowk is Bob Cranky T 

Aw ran to the toon without stoppin'. 
An' fand ilka street like a hoppin ; 

An' the folk stud sae thick. 

Aw sair wish'd for maw pick. 
To hew oot a way for Bob Cranky. 

The guns then went off fra the cassel, 
Seun windors wur a' in a dazzle ; 

Ilka place was like day. 

Aw then shooted, " Hurray ! 
'« There's ' Plenty an' Peace* for Bob Cranky !*^ 

Some windors had pictures sae bonny ! 
Wi' sma' lamps aw can't tell how monny ; 

Te count them, aw'm shure. 

Wad bother the Viewer — 
A greater Gpggriffer than Cranky. 

Aw see'd croons myed o' lamps bhie an' reed, 

" wad na like put on me heed ! 

. P. R." aw see'd nex, 
our Geordy Prince Rex; — 
At it sae weel as Bob Cranky. 



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29 

Some bad anchors of leet high bung up. 

To shew folk greet Bonny was deun up ; 

But, far as aw see, man, 

As reet it wad be, man, 

Te leet up the pick o' Bob Cranky. 

A leg of meat sed, " Doon aw's cummin !" 
But some chep aw seun fand was hummin ; 

For aw stopp'd bit belaw, 

Haudin oot a lang paw. 
But mutton cam ne nearer Cranky. 
A cask on the Vicar's pump top, man, 
Markt " Plenty an* Peace," gard me stop, man : 

Thinks aw te me sel, 

Awse here get some jel. 
But only cau'd waiter gat Cranky. 

Bonny, shav'd be a bear, was then shot, man ; 
And be au'd Nick weel thump'd in a pot, man ; 

But aw thowt a' the toon 

Shuddent lick him when doon, 
Tbo' he'd a greet spite to Bob Cranky. 

Yen Price had the cream o' the bowl, man, 
Wi' goold lamps clagg'd close cheek by jowl, man : 
It was sic a fine seet. 
Aw cou'd glower'd a' neet. 
Had fu' been the wame o* Bob Cranky. 

Ne mair see'd aw till signal gun fired. 

Out went the leets, an' hyem aw gat, tired ; 

Nan ax'd 'boot Leum'nations, 

Aw bade her hae patience. 
An' first fetch some fiesh te Bob Cranky. 

Aw tell'd her what news aw had heerd, man. 
That Shuggar was sixpence a pund, man. 
An' good beef at a groat : — 
Then oor Nan clear'd her throat, 
An' shooted oot, « Plenty for Cranky !" 



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80 

Twas a' lees-^or when Nan gangM te toon. 
An' for yen pund a sixpence pat doon ; 
Fra shop she was winnin'. 
When Grosser, deuce Inn him ! 
Teuk a' the cheap shuggar fra Crankj. 

But gif Peace brings another gran* neet. 
Aw think folk shou'd hae Plenty te eat : 
Singin* hinni/s, aw'm shoor. 
An Strang jell at the door. 
Wad better nor candles please Cranky. 

Then agyen, what a shem an' a sin ! 

Te the Pit Dinner nyen ax'd me in : 
Yet aw work like a Turk, 
Byeth wi' pick, knife, and fork, — 
An' whese mair a PitiUe nor Cranky ? 

Or what cou'd ye a' de without me. 
When cau'd ice an' snaw com about ye ? 
Then sair ye wad shiver. 
For a* ye're sae cliver. 
An* lang for the pick o' Bob Cranky ! 



SWALWELL HOPPING. 

« LADS ! myek a ring. 

An' hear htu sing 
The sport we had at SwaIwell*o ; 
Wour mj^rry jday, 
C the Hoppen. dajr, 
Ho'way, marrows I an' awll tell ye-o. 
The sun shines warm on Whickham bank. 

Let's a' lie down at Dolly Vo; 
And hear 'bout monny a funny prank, 
Play'd by the lads at Cffowley's-a 



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SI 

There was Sam^ O zoons ! 

Wiv's pantaloons, 
An* gravat up owre his gobby-o ; 

An' Willy, thou, 

Wi' thee jacket blue. 
Thou was the varry bobby-o : 
There was knack-knee'd Mat, wiv's purple 8uit> 
An' hopper-a-s'd Dick, a' yellow-o : 
Great Tom was tliere, wi' Hepple's awd coat. 
An' buck-sheen'd Bob frae Stella^o. 

When we wor drest, 

It was confest 
We shem'd the cheps fra Newcassel-o : 

So away we set. 

To wour toon gyet. 
To jeer them a' as they pass'd u8»o« 
We shooted some, and some dung doon ; 

Lobstrop'lus fellows, we kick'd them«o : 
Some culls went hyem, some crush'd to toon. 
Some gat aboot by Whickham-a 

The spree com on— 

The hat was won 
By carrot-pow'd Jenny's Jacky-o : 

What a fyace begok ! 

Had buckle-mouth'd Jock, 
When he twin'd his jaws for the backy-o ! 
The kilted lasses fell tid, pell mell, 
Wi' " Tally-i-o the grinder^'-©— 
The smock was gi'en to slavering Nell ; 
Ye'd dropp'd had ye been behind her-o. 

Wour dance beffan^ 

With buck-tyuUi'd Nan ; 
An'> Geordy, thou'd Jen Collin-o : 

While the merry Black, 

Wi' monny a crack. 
Set the Tambourine a roUing-o. 



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Like wour forge-hammer^ we bet sae true. 
An' shuk Raw's house sae soundly-o : 

Tuff canna cum up wi' Crowley's crew. 
Nor thump the tune sae roundly«o. 

Then Gyetside Jack, 
Wiv's bloody back. 
Wad dance wi' goggle-eye'd Mally-o : 
But up cam Nick 
An' gave him a kick. 
And a canny bit kind of a fally-o : 
I'hat day a' Hawks's blacks may rue,—* 

They gat monny a varry sair clanker-o : 
Can they de owse wi* Crowley's crew, 
Frev a needle tiv an anchor- o? 

What's that to say 
To the bonny fray 
We had wi skipper Robbin*o ? 
The keel-bullies a', 
Byeth great an' sma', 
Myed a b r ly tide o' the hoppen-o. 
deed Will cried, Ma-a ! up lup aud Frank, 

An' Bobbin that marry'd his dowter-o : 
We hammer'd their ribs like an anchor shank ; 
They fand it six weeks efter-o. 

Bald Pyat Jone Carr 

Wad hev a bit spar. 
To help his marrows away wid-o ; 

But, poor au'd fellow. 

He'd gotten ower mellow. 
So we down'd byeth him and Davy-o : 
Then Petticoat Bobbin jump'd up agyen, 

Wiv's gully to marcykree huz a'. 
But Willanton Dan laid him flat wiv a styen : 
Hurraw ! for Crowley's crew, boys a' ! 



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Their hash was sattlecl^ 

So off they rattled^ 
And jigged it up sae hearty-o, 

Wi* monny a shiver, 

An' lowp sae clever. 
Can Newcassel turn out sec a party^o ? 
When, wheyt dyun ower, the fiddlers went, 

We stagger'd a-hint sae merry-o : 
An* thro* wour toon, till fairly spent, 
Roar'd — Crowley's Crew an' glory^o ! 

WINLATON HOPPING. 

BY JOHN LENNARD. 

Y£ sons of glee, come join with me. 

Ye who love mirth and topping-o. 
You'll ne'er refuse to hear my Muse 

Sing of Winlaton fam'd Hopping-o. 
To Tenche's Hotel let's retire. 

To tipple away so jieatly-o : 
The fiddle and song you'll sure admire, 

Together they sound so sweetly-o. 
Tal, lal, &C. 

With box and die you'll Sammy spy. 

Of late Sword-Dancers' Bessy-o — 
All patch'd and torn, with tail and horn. 

Just like a De'il in dress'y-o : 
But late discharg'd from that employ. 

This scheme popp'd in his noddle^o ; 
Which fiU'd his little heart with joy. 

And pleas'd blithe Sammy Doddle-o. 
Tal, hd, &c. 
Close by the stocks, his dice and box 

He rattled away so rarely-o ; 
Both youth and age did he engage. 

Together they play'd so chearly-o : 



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While just close by the sticks did fly 

At spice on knobs of woody-o ; 
*' How ! mind maw legs I" the youngsters ciy, 

'* Wey, man, thoa't drawn the bloody !"-o. 
Tal, lal, &c. 
Rang'd in a row, a glorious show. 

Of spice, and nuts for cracking-o; 
With handsome toys, for girls and boys, 

Grac'd Winlaton fam'd Hopping-o. 
Each to the stalls led his dear lass. 

And treat her there so sweetly-o ; 
Then straight retir'd to drink a glass. 

And shuffle and cut so neatly-o. 
Tal, lal, &c. 
Ye men so wise, who knowledge prise. 

Let not this scene confound ye^o ; 
At Winship's door might ye explore 

The world a' running round ye-o: 
Blithe boys and girls, on horse an' chair, 

Flew round, without e'er stopping-o ; 
Sure Blaydon Races can't compare 

With Winlaton fam'd Hopping-o» 
Tal, lal, &c. 

The night came on, with dance and song 

Each public-house did jingle*^ ; 
All ranks did swear to banish cara. 

The married and the single-o: 
They tript away till morning li|^. 

Then slept aoond without ro^ng^o ; 
Next day got drunk, in merry plight. 

And jaw'd about the Hopping-o, 

Tal, lal, &C. 

At last dull Care his crest did rear, 

Our heads he sore did riddle-o t 
Till Peacock drew his pipes and blew. 

And Tenche he tun'd his fiddle-o : 



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Then Painter Jack he led the van. 
The dratxi did joiil in chorus-©,— 

The old and young then danc'd and sung. 
Dull Care fled far before us-o. 
Tal, lal, &C. 

No courtier fine, nor grave divine. 

That's got die whole he wisfaes-o, 
Will ever be so blithe as we, 

With all their loaves and fishes-o : 
Then grant, O Jove I oui; ardent prayer. 

And happy still you'll ^nd us-o ; — • 
Let pining Want and haggard Care, 

A day's march keep behind us-o. 
Tal, lal, &C. 

THE SKIPPER'S WEDDING. 

NEIGHBOURS, Vm come for to tell ye, 

Our Skipper and Moll's to be wed ; 
And if it be true what they're saying. 

Egad, we'll be all rarely fed ! 
They've brought home a shoulder of mutton^ 

Besides two thumping fat geese, 
And when at the fire they're roasting. 

We're all to have sops in ihc greese. 

Blind Willy's to play on the fiddle. 

And there will be pies and spice dumplings^^ 

« And there wUl be bacon and peas ; 
Besides a great lump of beef boQed, 

And they may get crowdies who please^ 
To eat of such good things as these are, 

I'm sure you've but sddom the luck ; 
Besides, for to make us some pottage. 

There'll be a sheep's head and a pluck* 

Blind Willy's to play on the fiddle. 



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Of sftusages there will be plenty. 

Black puddings, sheep fat, and neats' tpipes ; 
Besides, for to warm all your noses. 

Great store of tobacco and pipes. 
A room, they say, there is provided 

For us at '* The Old Jacob's Well ;" 
The bridegroom he went there this morning, 

And spoke for a barrel o' yell. 

Blind Willj's to play on the fiddle. 

There's sure to be those things I've mentioned. 

And many things else ; and I learn, ' * 
There's white bread and butter and shuggar^ 

To please every bonny young. bairn. 
Of each dish and glass you'll be welcome 

To eat and to drink till you stare : — 
I've told you what meat's to be at it, 

I'll next tell you who's to be there. 

Blind Willy's to play on the fiddle. 

Why there will be Peter the hangtpan^ 

Who flogs the folk^ at the cart tail. 
And Bob, with his new sark and ruffle. 

Made out of an old keel sail I 
And Tib on the Quay who sells oysters. 

Whose mother oft strove to persuade 
Her to keep frofed^tke lads, but she wouldn't. 

Until she got by them Uetray'd. 

Blind Willy's to play on the fiddle. 

And there will be Sandy the cobbler, 

Wliose belly's as round as a keg. 
And Doll with her short petticoats. 

To display her white stockings and leg ; 
And Sail, who when snug in a comer, 

A sixpence they say won't refuse ; 
She curs'd when her father was drown'd, 

Because he had on his new shoes. 

Blind Willy's to play on the fiddle. 



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And there will be Sam the quack ilootor, 

Of skill and profkision he'H crack ; 
And Jack who would ikiit be a soldier, 

But for a great bump on hie back ; 
And Tom in the streets, for his living, 

Who grinds ra«ors^ scissors, and knives ; 
Afi4 two or three merry old wooien^ 

That call *' Mugs and doublers, wives !" 

Blind Willy's to play an the fiddle. 

But neighbours, Vd almost forgot 

For to tell ye— exactly at one 
The dinner will be on the table. 

And music will play till its done : 
When you'll be all heartily welcome, 

Of ^is merry fegst for to share : 
But if you wont come at this bidding. 

Why then^-^you may stay where you are. 

Blind Willy's to play on the fiddle. 

NEWCASTLE FAIR; 

Or, the Fitni^n drinking Jacli^y* 

HA* ye been at Newcastle Fair, 

And did you aee owse o' great Sandy ? 
^^^ Lord bltss as I what wark there was there ; 

And the folks were drinking of brandy. 
Brandy a shilling a glass I 

Aw star'd, and thought it was shamefo}, 
. Never mind, says aw, canny lass. 

Give (IS yell, and aw41 d^k me warae<»fun. 
Rum te idily, Szc^ 

Says she, Canny man, the yell's cau'd ; 

It copies iVev a man they caw Mackey, 
And by ray faith ! it's byeth sour and au'd ; 

Ye'd best hev a drop o' wour Jackey. 



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Your Jackey ! says I, now what's that ? 

Aw ne'er heerd the nyem o' sic liquor. 
English gin^ canny man, that's flat 1 

And then she set up a great nicker. 
Rum te idily> &c. 

Says I, Divent laugh at poor folks^ 

But gang and bring some o' yor Jackey ; 
Aw want nyen o* yur jibes or jokes : 

I' th' mean time slw'W tyek a bit backy. 
Aw just tyuk a chew o' pig tail^ 

When she fetch'd in the Jackey sae funny : 
Says she. Sir, that's better than ale. 

And held out her hand for the money. 
Rum ti idily, &c. 

There's threepence to pay, if you please: 

Aw star'd an' aw gyep'd like a ninny : 
Odsmash thee ! aw'll sit at me ease. 

An* not stir till aw've spent a half-guinea. 
Aw sat an' aw drank, till quite blind. 

Then aw gat up to gang to the door. 
But deel smash a door cou'd aw find ! 

An' fell fiat o' maw fyace on the floor. 
Rum te idily, &c. 

There aw lay for ever sae lang. 

And dreamt about rivers and pitches > 
When wyaken'd, wa9 singing th^ sang— 

^t Smash, Jackey, thou's wet a' me breeches !" 
An' ftith ! but the sang it was true. 

For Jackey had been sae prevailing. 
He'd whistled himsel' quickly through. 

An' the chairs an' tyables were sailing. 
Rum te idily, &c. 

Then rising, aw went maw ways hyero. 
Aw knock'd at the door, and cry'd, Jenny ! 

Says she. Canny man, is te.Iyem, 

Or been wading in Tyne, maw hinny ? 



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V troths she was like for to dee. 

An' just by the way to relieve her, — 

The water's been wading through me. 
An* this Jackey's a gay deceiver. 
Rum te idily, &c. 

If e'er aw drink Jackey agyert. 

May the bitch of a lass, maw adviser, 

Lowp alive down maw throaty with a styen 
As big as a pulveriser. 

Rum te idily, &c. 

THE QUAYSIDE SHAVER. 

ON each market day, sir, the folks to the Quay, sir. 

Go flocking with beards they have seven days worn. 
And round the small grate, sir, iacrowds they all wait, 
sir. 

To get themselves shav'd in a rotative turn. 
Old soldiers on sticks, sir, about politics, sir, 

Debate — till at length they quite heated are grown ; 
Nay, nothing escapes, sir, until Madam Scrape, sir, 

CrieSj " Gentlemen, who is the next to sit down ?" 

A medley the place is, of those that sell laces. 

With fine shirt-neck buttons, and good cabbage nets ; 
> Where match-men, at meeting, give each a kind greet- 
ing. 
And ask one another how trade with them sete ; 
Join'd in with, Tonfd^oggars and little Bok0ackers, 

Who wander the'ftreets in their fuddlini** jills ; 
And those folks with1>ags, sir, who buy up old rags, sir. 
That deal in fly-cages and paper windmills. 

There pitmen, with baskets and gay posey waistcoats. 
Discourse about nought but whe puts and hews best : 

There keelmcn just landed, swear, May they be stranded, 
If they're not shav'd first, while their keel's at tUeJesl! 
C 2 



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With face full of coal dust^ would fHghten one almost. 
Throw off hat aod wig while they usurp the chair ; 

While others stand looking^ and think it proroking. 
But, for the insulti to oppose them none dare. 

When under the chin, sir, she tucks the cloth in, sir. 

Their old quid they'll pop in the pea-jacket cuff; 
And while they are sitting, do nought but keep spit- 
ting, 

And looking around, with an air fierce and bluff. 
Such tales as go round, sir, would surely confountl, sir. 

And puzzle the prolific brain of the wise : 
But when she prepares, sir, to take off the hairs, sir. 

With lather she whitens them up to the eyes. 

No sooner the razor is laid on the face, sir. 

Than painful distortions take place on the brow ; 
But if they complain, sir, theyll find it in vain, sir. 
She'll tell them " there's nought but what Patience 
can do :" 
And as she scrapes round 'em, if she by chance wound 
'em. 
They'll cry out, ta tho' she'd bereay'd them of life, 
' 'Odsnash your brains, woman 1 aw find the blood's 
comin, 
^ Aw'd rather been shav'd with an au*d guUy koife !' 
For all they can say, sir, she still rasps away, sir, 
And sweeps round their jaws the chop tuKuring 
tool; 
Till they in a pet, sir, request her to whet, sir ; 

But she gives them for answer, ' Sit still, you pist 
fool!' 
For all their repining, their twisting and twining. 

She forward proceeds till she's mown off the hair ; 
When finish'd, cries, ' There, sir !* then straight from 
the chair, sir. 
They'll jump, crying, ' Daresay youVc scrap*d the 
bone bare !" 



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THE SANDGATE GIRL'S LAMENTATION. 

I WAS a young maiden truly. 

And lived in Sandgate- street ; 
I thought to marry a good man. 

To keep me warm at neet. . 
Some good-like body, some bonny body, 

To be with me at noon ; 
But last I married a keelman. 

And my good days are done. 

I thought to marry a parson. 

To hear roe «ay my prayer* ; 
But I haye married a keelman. 

And he kicks me down the stairs. 
He's an tigly body, a bubbly body> 

Aft ilUfar'd, ugly loon ; 
And I have married a keelman. 

And my good days are done. 

I thought to marry a dyer. 

To dye my apron blue ; 
But I have married a keelman. 

And he makes me sorely rue. 
He's an ugly body, a bubbly body. 

An ill-far'd, ugly loon ; 
And I have married a keelman, 

And my good days are done. 

I thought to marry a joinet, 

To make me chair and stool ; 
But I have married a keelman. 

And he*d a perfect fool. 
He's an ugly body, a bubbly body^ 

An ill-far'd, ugly loon ; 
And I have married a keelman. 

And my good days are done. 
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I thought to marry a sailor. 

To bring me sugar and tea ; 
But I have married a keelman. 

And that he lets me see. 
He's an ugly body, a bubbly body. 

An ill-far d, ugly loon; 
And I have married a keelman. 

And my good days are done. 

THE WATER OF TYNE. 

I Cannot get to my love, if I should dee. 
The water of Tyne runs between him and me ; 
And here I must stand, with the tear in my e*e. 
Both sighing and sickly my sweetheart to see. 

O where is the boatman ? my bonny honey ! 

O where is the boatman ? bring him to me — 
To ferry me over the Tyne to my honey. 

And I will remember the boatman and thee. 

O bring me a boatman-— I'll give any money, 
(And you for your trouble rewarded shall be) 

To ferry me over the Tyne to my honey. 
Or skull him across that rough river to me. 

THE NEWCASTLE SIGNS. 

Written by Cecil Pitt, and sung at the Theatre-Royal, Newcas- 
tle, 5y Mr. Scriven, June 4, 1806. 

SHOULD the French in Newcastle but dare to appear. 
At each sign they would meet with indifferent chear ; 
From the Goat and the Hawk, from the Bell and the 

Waggon, 
And Dog, they would skip, as St. George made the 

Dragon. 



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The Billet, the Highlander, Cross Keys, and Sun, 
The Eagle, and Ships too, would shew 'em some fun ; 
The Three Kings and Unicom, Bull's Head and Horse, 
Would prove, that the farther they went they'd fare 
worse. 

At the Black House, a strong-Arm, would lay ev'ry 

man on. 
And they'd quickly go off, if they got in the Cannon : 
The Nelson and Turk's Head their fears would increase. 
And they'd run from the Swan like a parcel of geese. 

At the York snd the Cumberland, Cornwallis too. 
With our Fighting Cocks, sure they'd find plenty to do ; 
The Nag's Head, and Lions would cut such an evil. 
And the Angel would drive the whole crew to the devil. 

At the World, and the Fountain, the Bridge, Crown 
and Thistle, 

The Bee-Hive, and Tuns, for a drop they might whistle ; 

With our Prince, or our Crown, should they dare in- 
terpose. 

They'd prick their French fingers well under the Rose. 

At the Half Moon, the Wheat-Sheaf, and Old Barley- 
Mow, 
A sup's to be got — ^if they could but tell how ; 
If they caird at the Bull and the Tyger, to ravage. 
As well as the Black Boy, they'd find 'em quite savage. 

At the Ark, and the Anchor, Pack Horse, and Blue Posts, 
And the Newmarket Inn, they would find but rough 

hosts ; 
The Old Star and Garter, Cock, Anchor, and more. 
Would prove, like the Grapes, all most cursedly sour. 

The Lion and Lamb, Plough, and Old Robin Hood, 
With the Crane House, would check these delighters 
in blood ; 



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> 

From the Butchers' Anus quick they'd bt runiiini^ 

away^ 
Aad we all know that Shakes peare would tkusw 'em 

At the White Hart, Three Bulls' Heads, the Old Dog 

and Duck, 
If they did not get thrash'd, they'd escape by gopd luck : 
At the Bird in Bush, Metters' Arms, Peacock, they'd 

fkfiH, 
And our King'a and Quoen'a Heads we'll defend till 

the last. 

May the sign of the King erer meet with reificct, 
And our great Constitution each BhtoA pTilttCt ; 
And may he who would humble our old British Crown, 
Be hung on a Sign^post.till I take him down. 



THE COLLIER'S HANT. 

AS me and my marrow was gannin to wark. 
We met with Uie Devils it Was in the datk ; 
I up with my pick, it being in the neet, 
And knock'd off his horns, likewise his club feet 

Follow the horses* Johnny my lad» oh ! 
Follow them through, my canny lad, oh ! 
Follow the horses, Johnny my lad, oh ! 
Oh, lad, lie away, canny lad, oh I 

Aa me and my ttstrrow was putting the tram, 
The lowe it went out, and my marrow went wrang ; 
You would have laugh'd had you «aeh the gatfl, 
The Deil gat my marrow, but I gat the tt'aui* 
Follow the horses, &c. 

Oh! marrow, oh! tnarroW, what dost thou think ? 
I've broken my bottle, and spilt a' my drink ; 



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I've lost a' my shiti-«p1ints amang the grent Attnes, 
Draw me to the ih«flt, it'ft time to gan hatfie. 
Follow the hones, &c* 

Oh, marrow ! oh, marrow ! where hest thou been ? 
Driving the drift from the low seam. 
Driving the drift from the low seam : 
Haud up the lowe, fad ! d^l stop out thy een ! 
Follow the horses, &c. 

Oh, marrow ! oh, marrow ! this is wor pay week. 
We'll get penny loaves, and drink to our beek ; 
And we'll fill up our bumper, and round it shah go. 
Follow the horses, Johnny lad, oh ! 

' Follow the horses^ &a 

There is my liorae, and there is my tram ; 
Twee horns full of greese will myek het to gan>; 
There is me boggars, likewise me half shoon. 
And smash aie heart, marrow, me putting's a' done ! 

Follow the hories, Johnny my lad, oh ! 
Follow them through, my canny lad, oh ! 
Follow the horses, Johnny my lad, oh ! 
Ob, lad, lie away ! canny lad, oh i 

THE PITMAN'S REVENGE 

AGAINST BONAPARTX. 

HA'£ ye heerd o' these wondrous Dontj 
That iftyeks this mighty fust, man. 

About invading Britain's knd ? 

I TOW they're wondrous spruce, man : 

But little do the Frenchmen ken 

About our loyal Ettgliahmen ; 

Our Collier hida arc for codutdet, 
And guns to shoot the Frencfai man. 

ToU k>U de roU, d« roll de roIU 



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Then to parade the pitmen went, 

Wi* hearts byeth stout and strong, man ; 
Gad smash the French ! we are sae Strang, 

We'll shoot them every one, man ! 
Gad smash me sark ! if aw would stick 
To tumble them a* down the pit : 
As fast as aw could thraw a eoal, 
Aw*d tumble them a' down the hole. 
And close her in aboon, man. 

Toll loll, &c. 

Heeds up ! says one, ye silly sow. 
Ye dinna mind the word, man : 

Eyes right ! says Tom, and wi' a dam. 
And march off at the word, man : 

Did ever mortals see sic brutes. 

To order me to lift my cutes ? 

Ad smash the fool J he stands and talks. 

How can he learn me to walk, 
Tbat*s walk'd this forty year, man ! 
Toll loll, &c. 

But should the Frenchmen shew their face 

Upon our waggon- ways, man. 
Then, there upon the road, you know. 

We'd myek them end their days, man ; 
Aye, Bonaparte's sel aw'd tyek. 
And throw him in the burning heap. 
And with great speed aw'd roast him deed ; 
His marrows, then, aw wad nae heed. 

We'd pick out a' their een, man. 
Tollloll, &c. 

Says Willy Dunn to loyal Tom, 
Your words are all a joke, man ; 

For Geordy winna hae your help. 
Ye re sic kamstarie folk, man : 



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Then, Willy, laJ, we'll rest in peace> 
In hopes that a' the wars may cease ; 
But awse gVe ye, Wull, to understand. 
As lan<T as aw can wield me hand. 

There's nyen but George shall reign, man. 
Toll loll, &c. 

Enough of this has shure been said, 

Cry'd cowardly Willy Dunn, man ; 
For should the Frenchmen come this way. 

We'd be ready for to run, man. 
Gad smash you, for a fool ! says Tom, 
For if aw could not use me gun, 
Aw'd tyek me pick, aw'd hew them doon, 
And run and* cry, through a' the toon, 
God save greet George our king, man ! 
Toll loll. &c. 

THE PITMAN'S COURTSHIP. 
Bif William Midford. 

QUITE soft blew the wind from the west. 

The sun faintly sl\one in th^ sky. 
When Lukey and Bessy sat courting. 

As walking I chanc'd to espy. 
Unheeded I stole close beside them. 

To hear their discourse was my plan ; 
J listen'd each word they were saying, 

When Lukey his courtship began. 

Last hoppen thou won up me fancy, 

Wi* thy fine silken jacket o* blue ; 
An' smash ! if their Newcas^el lyedies 

Cou'd marrow the curls o' thy brow. 
That day aw whiles danc'd wi' Jang Nancy, 

She couldn't like thou lift her heel : 
My Grandy lik'd spice singing hinnies. 

Maw comely ! aw like thou as weel. 



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Thou kncwt^ erer since we were little, 

Together we've rang'd through the woods ; 
At neets hand in hand toddled hyem, 

Varry oft Wi* howl kites and lorn duds : 
But now we can tank about mairage. 

An* lang sair for wor weddin day : 
When mairied thou's keep a bit shop, 

An' sell things in a huikstery way. 

An' to get us a canny bit leeven, 

A' kinds o' fine sweetmeats we'll sell. 
Reed herrin, broon syep, and mint candy. 

Black pepper, dye-sand, an' sma' yell ; 
Spioe hunters, pick shafts^ farden candles. 

Wax dollies wi' reed leather shoes. 
Chalk pussy-cats, fine curly greens. 

Paper skyets, penny pies, an' huil-doos. 

Awse help thou to tie up thy shuggar. 

At neets when fVa wark aw get lowse ; 
An' wor Dick, that leeves ower by High Whickham, 

He'll myek us broom buzzoms for nowse. 
Like an image thou's stand ower the coonter, 

Wi' thy fine muslin, cambricker goon ; 
An' to let the fokes see thou's a lyedy, 

On a cuddy thou's ride to the toon. 

There's be matches, pipe clay, and broon dishes, 

Canary seed, raisins, and fegs ; 
And, to please the pit laddies at Easter, 

A dish full o* giltey paste eggs. 
Wor neybors, that's snuffers an' smokers. 

For WOT snuff and backey they'll seek ; 
An' to shew them we deal wi' Newcasset, 

Twee^Blackeys sal mense the dor cheek. 

So now for Tim Bodkin awse send. 
To darn my silk breeks at the knee ; 

Thou thy ruffles an' fVilki mun get ready. 
Next Whissunday mairied we'll be. 



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Now aw think it's hi^h time to be stcppini 
We've sitten tiv aw 'a about lyem. 

So thei}> wiv a kiss and a cuddle. 
These lovers they bent their ways hyem. 



CAPPY, OR THE PITMAN'S DOG. 

By the same. 

IN a town near Newcassel a Pitman did dwell, 
Wiv his wife nyemed Peg, a Tom Cat, and himsel ; 
A Dog, called Cappy, he doated upon. 
Because he was left him by great uncle Tom : 
Weel bred Cappy, famous au'd Cappy, 
Gappy 's the dog, Tallio, Tallio. 

His tail pitcher-handled, his colour jet black. 
Just a foot and a half was the length of his back ; 
His legs seven inches frev shoulders to paws. 
And his lugs like twee dockins hung owre his jaws : 
Weel bred Cappy, &c. 

For huntin of varmin reet clever was* he. 
And the house frev a' robbers his bark wad keep free : 
Cou*d byeth fetch and carry — could sit on a stuil ; 
Or, when frisky, wad hunt waiter rats in a puil. 
Weel bred Cappy, &c. 

As Ralphy to market one morn did repair. 
In his hat'band a pipe, and weel kyem'd was his hair, 
Owre his airm-hung a basket — thus onward he speels. 
And enter'd Newcassel wi* Cap at his heels : 
Weel bred Cappy, &c. 

He haddent got farther than fbot o' the Side, 
Before he fell in with the dog-killing tribe : 
When a highwayman-fellow aiipp'd round in a crack, 
And a thump o' the skull laid him flat on his back ; 
Down went Cappy, &c. 



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50 

Now Ralphy^ exlonisKd, Cap's fate did repine. 

While it's eyes like twee little pyerl buttons did shine : 

He then spat on his hands, in a fury he grew. 

Cries, *' Gad smash ! but awse hev settisfaction o' thou, 

" For knocking down Cappy," &c. 
Then this grim luikin fellow his bludgeon he rais'd. 
When Ralphy eye'd Cappy, and then stood araaz'd : 
But, fearin' beside him he might be laid doon. 
Threw him into the basket and bang'd out o' toon ; 

Away went Cappy, &c. 
He breethless gat hyem, and when lifting the sneck. 
His wife exclaim'd, ' Ralphy, thou's suin g^tin back :' 

* Gettin back !' replied Ralphy, * I wish I'd ne'er gyen, 

* In Newcassel they're fellin dogs, lasses, and men ; 

* They've knocked down Cappy ! &c. 
' If aw gan to Newcassel, when comes wor pay week, 

* Aw'll ken him agyen by the patch on his cheek : 
' Or if ever he enters wor toon wiv his stick, 

' We'll thump him about till he's black as au'd Nick, 

* For killin au'd Cappy,' &c. 
Wiv tears in her een Peggy heard his sad tale. 
And Ralph wiv confusion and terrow grew pale : 
While Cappy's transactions with grief they talk'd o'er. 
He crap out o' the basket, quite brisk o' the floor ; 
Weel duin, Cappy ! &c. 

XYZ AT NEWCASTLE RACES, 1814. 

OR pitman's luck. 

By the same. 

SMASH ! Jemmy, let us buss, weel off 

And see Newcassel Races ; 
Set Dick the Trapper for some syep. 

We'll suin wesh a' wor faces. 
There's ne'er a lad in Percy Main 
Be bet this day for five or ten ; 



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51 

Wor pockets lin'd wiy notes an* cash, 

Ainang the cheps we'll cut a dash : 
For X Y Z, that bonny steed. 
He bangs them a' for pith and speed, i 
He's sure to win the Cup, man. 

We reach'd the Moor, wi' sairish tews. 

When they were gawn to start, man : 
We gav a fellow tuppence each. 

To stand upon a cart, man : 
I'he bets flew round fra side to side ; 
" The field agyen X Y !*' they cried : 
We'd hardly time to lay them a'. 
When in he cam — Hurraw ! hurraw ! 

'* Gad smash \" says aw, •* X Y's the steed, 
*' He bangs them a' for pith an* speed, 
" We never see'd the like, man I" 

Next, to the tents wc hied, to get 

Some stufiin for wor bags, man ; 
Wi' flesh we gaily pang'd wor hides— 

Smoak'd nowse but patten shag, man : 
While rum and brandy soak'd each chop, 
We'd Jackey an* fine Ginger Pop ; 
Wc gat what myed us winkin blin' — 
When drunkey aw began to sing — 

*' Od smash I X Y, that bonny steed, 
'' Thou bangs them a' for pith an' speed, 
•' We never see'd the like, man V* 

Next up amang the shows we gat. 

Where folks a' stood i* flocks, man. 
To see a chep play Bob and Joan, 

Upon a wooden box, man ; 
While bairns and music filFd the stage. 
An' some, by gox ! were grim wi* age : 
When next au'd grin a pony brought. 
Could tell at yence what people thowt ! 



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" Od smash !" says aw, '' if b«'f the brved 
" Of X Y Z, that bonny ataed« 

** Thou never see'd bis likcy man !" 
But baud ! when ve cam to the toon. 

What thinks tou we saw there, nun ? 
We see'd a Blacky puffin, sweetin> 

Sucking in fresh air, man ; 
They said that he could fell an ox-— 
His name was fighting Molinox : 
But ere he fit another round. 
His marrow felPd him te the ground. 

" Od smash !" says aw, " if thou's sic breed 
" As X Y Z, that bonny steed, 

" Thou never see'd his likei man !" . 
Next 'board the Steeraer Boat we gat, 

A laddie rang a bell, man ; 
We haddent sitten varry lang. 

Till byeth asleep we fell, man : 
But the noise seun myed poor Jnmmj 8tart«~ 
He thowt 'twas time to gan to wark. 
For pidi and hogg^rs roar'd out he--^ 
And myed sic noise it waken'd me« 

« Od smash !" says aw, " X Y's th« steed, 
" He bangs them a' for pith and speed» 
*' Aw never sf e'd his like^ nan !" 
When landed, straight off hyena aw gans. 

An' thunners at the door, man ; 
The bairns lap ower the bed wi' fright. 

Fell smack upon the floor, man : 
But to gar the wifey baud her tongue, 
Show'd her the kelter aw had won : 
She with a cinder brunt her toes. 
An' little Jacob broke his nose*-** 

The brass aw've gatt«n at the Race, 
Will buy ft pat<?b for Jacob's fae«,--- 
So now my sapg is duin> man. 



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THE EAGLE STEAM PACKET ; 

OR, A TRIP TO SUNDERLAND. 
By the same. 
OH, ha'e ye heard the wondrous news ? 
To hear my san^ ye'U not refuse. 
Since the new Steam Packet's ta'en a cruise. 

An' bore away for Sunderland. 
The folks cam flockin ower the keels. 
Betwixt Newcassel Key an' Sheels, 
Before she ply*d her powerful wheels. 

To work their way to Sunderland. 

Tht sky was clear, the day was fine. 
Their dress an' luggage all in stile ; 
An* they thought to cut a wondrous shine. 

When they got safe to Sunderland! 
Now when they to the Pier drew nigh, 
The guns did fire and streamers fly ; 
In a moment all was hue and cry 

Amang the folks at Sunderland. 

There was male and female, lean an' fat. 
An' some wi' whiskers like a cat ; 
But a Barber's ' water-proof silk hat' 

Was thought the tip at Sunderland. 
In pleasures sweet they spent the day. 
The short-liv'd moments wing'd away ; 
When they must haste, without delay. 

To quit the port of Sunderland. 

As on the ocean 'wide they drew, 

A strong North wind against them blew. 

And the billows dash'd the windows through : 

A woeful trip to Sunderland ! 
Such howlin, screamin rend the sky. 
All in confusion they did lie. 
With pain and sickness like to die. 

They wish'd they'd ne'er seen Sunderland. 
D 



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A Lftdjr hy be«idft tbe daor. 
Said, she had been at sea before^ 
Where foaming billows round did roar. 

Bat ne'er had been at Sunderland : 
She soon amongst tbe heap was thrown. 
While here and there they sat alone ; 
Popr PuiT had passage up and down. 

But none could get from Sutiderland. 

Some in a corner humm'd their prafen^ 
While others choak'd the cabm sUdra; 
And bloody noses, unawares. 

Were got in sight of Sunderland : 
In vain they strove now to proceed. 
So back again they came with speed ; 
Bnt the passengers were all nigh deed. 

When they got back to Sunderland. 

Now their dresses fine looked wone than fags. 
While each a safe conveyance begs; 
And many had to uae dieir legs. 

To travel home from Sunderland. 
By this affair your reason guide. 
When on the teas you'd wish to ride. 
Choose a good atrong ship, with wiad and tide; 

And so good bye to Suadecland. 

THE WONDERFUL GUTTER 
BythtSame. ' 

SINCE Boney was sent to that place owre the ae% 
We've had little to Ulk of. but fiir less to dee; 
But now they're a' sayin, we acun will get better. 
When yence they begin with the wondttfiil Gutter, 
The greet laog GutUr, the wonderful Gutter: 
Success to the Gutter! and prosper the Plough ! 






55 

The way how «w kan^— wb«a aw wlu at the toon 
Aw met Dicky Wise near the Rose and the Cr<x>n ; 
And as Dicky reads papers, and talks aboot Kmg0^ 
Wey he*s like to ken weel aboot Gutters and thinga; 
So be talk'd owre the Gatter, &c. 

He then a lang story began for to tell^ 
And said that it often was ca'd a Cannell ; 
But he thowt, by a Gutter, aw wad understand. 
That it's cutten reet through a' the Gentlemen's land* 
Now that's caw*d a Qutter, &c. 

Now, whether the sea's owre big at the West, 
Or scanty at Sheels — wey, ye mebby ken best ; 
For he says they can team, aye, without any bother, 
A sup out o' yen, a' the way to the tother. 
By the greet lang Gutter, &c. 

Besides therell be bridges, and locks, and lairge keys. 
And shippies, to trade wiv eggs, butter, and cheese : 
And if they'll not sail weel, lor went o'mair force. 
They'll myek ne mair fuss, but yoke in a Strang horse^ 
To pull through the Gutter, && 

Ye ken there's a deal that's lang wanted a myel. 
When they start wi' the Gutter 'twill thicken their 

kyell: 
Let wages be high, or be just what they may. 
It will certainly help to drive hunger away. 
While they wcH-k at the Gutter, &c 

There's wor Tyne eammufi tee 'ill not ken what's the 

matter. 
When they get a gobful o- briny saut waiter; 
But if they should gao off, it's cum'd into ny nob, 
For to myek aiHO amends ve nauft catch a' the cod. 
That swee»t down the Gutter, die. 
D 2 



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So cum money and friends support Willy Airmitrang; 

In vent'rin a thoosan ye canna-get wrang ; 

While we get wor breed by the sweet o' wor broo. 

Success to the Gutter I and prasper the Plough ! 
The greet lang Gutter I the wonderful Gutter t 
Success to the Gutter ! and prosper the Plough i 

THE T^NE COSSACKS, 
By the same. 

NOT long ago* a fray in Shielda 

And Sunderland began, 
'Tween the Seamen and Ship-owners, 

How their vessels they should man ; 
But the Owners stiff, to them were deaf. 

Which made the Seamen for to grumble. 
For our Tyhe Cossacks they soon did send. 

The haughty pride of Jack to humble. 
Whack row de dow, &c. 

A letter being sent, they were 

Caird out, without delay ; 
But the Gen'ral thought he'd try their skill 

Before they went away : 
So round the Moor he made them scour. 

Before him cut such won()rous capers ; 
Their praise he sounded high and low. 

In all the three NewcasscI papers. 

He cries. My lads, you're qualified 

To do such wondrous feats. 
That to Shields and Cleadon yon must go. 

To clear the lanes and streets ; 
Destroy all those who may oppose 

The ships from sailing down the River, 
And then our Prince will sure commend 

Your deeds in arms^ my boys^ so clever. 



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The Butcheir cries, If we begin, 

We'll surely kill and slay ; 
The Tanner swore they'd tan their hides 

Before they came away : 
A Taylor next, with fear perplext. 

Said, he should like no other station. 
Than to be the Doctor's waiting man. 

If sanctioned by the Corporation. 

Ta Shields they got, tho' much fatigued. 

Upon their worn-out hacks, 
Some cried, ** The Polish Lancers come !*" 

And otliers, •' Tyne's Cossacks !" 
By some mishap, the Farrier's cap 

Blew off, but met with coolish treatment, 
Into a huckster's shop it went, — 

Now Martin's cap's a tatie beatraent. 

For several weeks they rode about. 

Like poachers seeking game ; 
The Marines so bold, as I am told. 

Had better sight than them ; 
For every boat that was afloat. 

They seiz'd upon with mad-like fury. 
And to the bottom sent them straight, 

Nbt asking either Judge or Jury. 

The deed was done by this effort;. 

All opposition gone. 
The ardcur of the heroes cool'd, 

'Cause they were lookers on : 
Odsmash ! says yen, if e'er agyen 

There's ony mair au'd boats to smatter. 
We'll hev horses that's web-footed, then 

We'll fight byeth oa the land and wattec 

D 3 



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59 

Now should our Tync Costackfl e'«r h»Y« 

To face their enemies. 
They'll boldly meet them on the Und, 

Or on the stormy seas. 
While the farmers sing, that they, next tpring^ 

At spreading dung will ne'er be idle : 
So — suocets to these Invincibles, 

Their long swords, saddle, bridle. 

Whack row de dow. 



THE PITMAN'S RAMBLE, 

OR, NEWCASTLI f UUAT. 

By the Same. 

HO ! lizsen, a' ye neybors roan, 
Yor clappers haud and pipes lay doon ; 
Aw've had a swagger through the toon. 

Yen morning aw went suin li'd. 
Ye see, aw fand aw waai*t thrang, 
Se to Newcassel aw wad gang :— 
Awse lapt a' up, just like a sang. 

An' try te put a tune ti'd. 

Bad times they're now, yen weel may aay ; 
Aw've seen, when on a market day, 
Wir wor toon's cheps aw'd drink away. 

An' carry on the war, man : 
But now yen staups an' stares aboot. 
To see what* s strange te carry oot ; 
Brass letters fassen'd on a cloot, 

A unicorn, or star, man. 

Ye see, aw thowt they wer te sell i 
So ax'd the cbep, if he cud tell. 
What he wad tyek for C an' L» 
To nail upon maw hen hoose : 



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But he inti^ed^ tmaah Ub crop 1 
Aw*d Kke a Aiil nietyen the ihop ; 
An' bad me quickly oiT te hop, 
He'd bowt them for his awn 



He Bang raaw hump sae out o' joint, 
Sae^ stnash ! aw thowt aw'd bev a pint1 
But when aw gat te Peterpoint» 

The chep that sells the candy. 
The f<^k8 luik'd in wiv isifreedy wish. 
He'd bonny siller iv a dish ; 
An' just abuin, twee bits o' fish 

Was sweemin, fine as can be. 

The tyen was like Hob Fewster's cowt, 
A' spreckled round aboot the snout ; 
They flapp'd their tails aboot like owt. 

Quite full o' gamalerie : 
An* then the munny shin'd sae breet. 
The greet Tom Cat wad hev a peep, 
And paunder'd tiv he fell asleep ; 

The silly thing was weary. 

Sae farther up aw teuk my cruize. 
And luik'd amang the buits and shoes ; 
Where yen aw thowt th^ did ill use. 

It 0weem*d, aye, like a daisy : 
Says aw. How i man, what's thou aboot? 
Wey, cum an' tyek that slipper oot ; 
Tfaoii's tiay'd away thy sammun trout : 

Says he. Young man, thou's crasy ! 

Had aw not been a patient chap. 
Aw wad hae fetch'd him sike a rap 
As that which daver'd poor au'd Cap ;* 
But, faith 1 the Kitty scar'd me : 

* AHodiof to the long called Cappy, or the Pitmatf s Dog. 
See page 4^, 



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_ 60 

Sae whisht aw grew ; for, efter that, 
Iv a lairge glass bowl, byeth round an' flat, . 
Aw spy'd a maccaroni hat, 
fiut at maw peril dar*d me. 

Sae, efter dark, up Pilgrim-street, 
The fine Gas Leeters shin'd sae breet, 
I'hat if a bonny lass ye meet, 

Ye'd ken her varry features : 
When pipes -are laid, and a' things duin. 
They say Newcassel, varry suin. 
Will darken, aye, the varry muin, 

A' wi' thor fine Gas Leeters. 



THE PITMAN'S SKELLYSCOPE. 
By the Same. 

OH ! Tommy, lad, howay ! aw's myek thou full o' play ; 

Aw'm sartin that thou'U byeth skip an' lowpey o : 
Aw've sike a bonny thing, an' it's myed o' glass an' tin, 

An' they say it's nyera's a bonny Gleediscowpey o. 
Skellyscowpey o, &c. 

A gawn alang the Close, a bit laddy cock'd his nose. 
An' was keekin throu'd, aside the Jabel Growpey o : 

Aw fand that he wad sell'd ; se, odsmash ! aw'm prood 
te tell'd I 
For twee fihillin bowt his b<Hiny Gleediscowpey a 

Wey, then aw ran off hyem — Nan thought me myekin 

gyem; 
Said, My Deavy* for a new aw'd had a cowpey o : 
But she gurn'd, aye, like a sweeper, when aw held it 

tir her peeper, 
See'd church winders thro' my bonny Gleediscowpey o. 

* A term for the new invented Safety Lamp. 



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€1 

Tlien the bairns they ran like sheep^ a* strove to hev a 
peep, 
Fra the awdest lass, aye, down to the dowpey o : 
There Dick dang ower Cud, myed his nose gush out 
o' blood. 
As he ran to see the bonny Gleediscowpey o. 

There was dwiney little Pe^, not se nimmel i' the leg, 
Ower the three-footed stuil gat sic a cowpey o ; 

And Sandy, wiv his beak, myed a lump i' mother's 
cheek, 
Climbin'up to see the bonny Gleediscowpey o. 

But she held it tiv her e'e, aye, till she cud hardly see. 
Oh! then aboot the marketin she thowty o: 

Wey, Lukey, man ! says she, 'stead o' shuggar^ flesh, 
an' tea, 
Thou's fetch'd ns hyem thy bonny Gleediscowpey p. 

She struck me wi' surprise, while she skelly'd wiv her 

eyes. 
An' aw spak as if I'd gettin a bit rowpey o. 
So, neybors, tyek a hint, if ye peep ower lang ye'll 

squint. 
For aw think they're reetly nyem'd, a Gleediscowpey o. 

THE LOCAL MILITIA-MAN. 
T.UNZ — " Madam Fig's Gala, 
By the Same. • 
HOW ! Marrows, Tse tip you a sang. 

If ye'U nobbit give your attention, 
Aw*ve sarrow'd my king seven years. 

And I'm now luikin out for the pension. 
But when my adventures aw tell, 

An^ should ye fin reason to doubt it^ 
An' think it mair than aw deserve, 
Aw'se just rest contented without it 

Rum ti idity, &c. 



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Y€ man ken» when aw first went to drill. 

My gun aw flang ower my heed, 
Pell'd the chep that stuid close in a-hint me. 

He lay kickin and sprawlin for deed. 
But when wor manuvers we lairn'd, 

Wor G>rnel o' huz grew se fond, nan. 
He match'd us gyen four smashing targets. 

Close ower ayont Heslop's Pond, man. 
Rum ti idity, &c. 

We maircht off at nine i' the momin. 

And at four we were not quite duin. 
While a bite never enter'd wor thropples ; 

Wi' hunger were fit to lie doon. 
But wor fellows they tuik sic an aim. 

Ye wad thought that they shot for a wager ; 
And yen chep, the deel pay his hide. 

He varra nigh shot the Drum- Major. 

Rum ti idity, &c« 

Suin efter, 'twas on the Vairge Day, 

'Bout the time 'at wor Cornel was Mayor, 
Fra Gyetshead we fi r'd ower their heeds, 

Myed the fokes in Newcassel to stare. 
To Newburn we then bore away. 

An' embark'd close aside a great Dung-hole, 
Wi' biscuit an' plenty o' yell. 

An' WOT Adjutant Clerk o' the Bung-hole. 
Rum ti idity, Sic^ 

Wor Triangler Lad lowp'd first ashore. 

When the folkes ran like cows or mad bulls ; 
Iv a jiffy they cam back to fight us, 

Wi' pokers an' three-footed stuils. 
When they fand he was not Bonnyparty, 

Nor nyen ov his sowgers fra France, 
The music then started to play. 

And we, for to caper, and dance. 

Rum ti idity, &c. 



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6S 

Sic wArk at we bad efter that. 

Wad tyek a latig day for to tell. 
How we fronted, an' ilankt it, an' maireht 

Through the sowgers at Thropley Fell. 
At the Play-house we've shin'd mony a time, ' 

Wor acaups aw besmatter'd wi' flour ; 
But that neet k wad myed the Deel gum. 

To see us a' pouthert wi' stour. 

Rum ti idity, &(n 

Yen day we were form'd in a ring. 

An' woT/Gornel said this, 'at ne'er spoke ill, 
'' Ye your'sarvis, my lads, mun transfar 

" Tir a core caw'd the Durham Foot Local." 
So tiv Sunderland if ye'd but gan. 

An' see us a' stand in a line, 
Ye'd swear that a few finer fellows 

Ne'er cam fira the Wear and the Tyne. 
Rum ti idity, &c. 



THE MASQUERADE 

jLT llBWCik«TLa THIAtRK; 

Or, Th€ Pitman lurnei CrUici. 
By the Same« 

AS Jemmy the brakesman and me 

Was taukin 'boot sentries and drill. 
We saw, clagg'd agyen a yek tree, 

A fower-square little hand^bill. 
Says Jemmy, Now halt tiv aw read her ; 

When up cam war canny su'd Sairgan : 
Says he. Ye mun cum to the Teapot, 

On Friday, and get yor disduirge, man. 
To! de rol. Sec 



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64 

We dress'd worsels smart, jcam to toon. 

Mister Goverment paid us wor brass ; 
Then we swagger'd off to the Hauf Meun, 

To rozzel wor nobs wiv a glass. 
We sang, smoak'd, and fuddled away. 

And cut mony a wonderful caper ; 
Says aw. Smash ! howay to the Play, 

Or, what some fokes ca' a Theater. 

Tol de rol, &c. 

We ran, and seun fand a good ply ace. 

Aye, before they'd weel hoisted their leets ; 
When a Lyedy, wi* gauze owcr her fyace. 

Cam an' tummeVd ower twee o' the seats. 
Aw hardly ken'd what for to say ; 

But say's aw, Div ye fin owse the warse ? 
Says her ncybour. Pop Folly's the Play, 

An' Masfcamagrady's the Farce. 

Tol de rol, &c. 

The Players they cam on iv dozens, 

Wiv fine dusty buits without spurs ; 
And they tauk'd aboot mothers and cousins. 

So did Jemmy and me about wors. 
We had plenty o' fiddlin and fieutin. 

Till the bugles began for to blaw ; 
Then aw thowt*aw heerd wor Major shootin. 

Fa' in, my lads ! stand in a raw ! 

Tol de rol, &c. 

We then see'd a little smart chap^ 

Went lowpin and skippin aboot ; 
Says aw. Smash ! thou is up to trap ! 

For he let the fokes byeth in and out. 
There was Fawstaff, a fat luikin fellow, 

Wiv a Miss in each airm, bein drunkey ; 
Then a black Lyedy, wiv a n umbrella, * - 

A fiddler, a bear, and a monkey. 

Tol de rol, &c. 



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Next cam on a swaggerin blade^ 

He's humpt o' byeth shouthers ah' legs ; 
A blackymoor, painter by trade. 

And o*^ dancin was myekin his brags : 
When a collier cam on, quick as thowt, 

Maw sarties 1 but he gat a pauler ; 
Says he, Smash ! aw'll dance thou for owt ; 

Then says aw. Five to fower o' Kit S waller ! 
Tol de rol, &c. 

He danc'd .the Keel Row to sic tuin. 

His marrow declar'd he was bet : 
Some yell ower Kit's shouthers was slung, 

So they byeth had their thropples weel wet. 
A lyem sowger cam on wiv twee sticks. 

Then a bussy-tail'd pinkcy wee Frenchman ; 
Next a chep, wiv some young lunaticks. 

Was wanting the mad-house at Bensham. 
Tol dc rol, &c. 

There was Punch fed his bairn wiv a laidel^ 

And ga'd.some kirn milk for to lyep ; 
Then he thumpt it till he wasn't yebbel. 

Because the poor thing cuddent gyep. 
Some tirere shootin shoe-ties iv a street ; 

Lang Pat, wiv his last dyin speeches^ 
Wagg'd ban's wiv a lass, that, yen neet, 

Tmk sevenpence out o' maw* breeches. 
Tol de rol, &c. 

Then a Gentleman's housey tuik feyre. 

As the watchman caw'd * Past ten o'clock V 
The maiiny fell into the meyre. 

And the wife ran away iv her smock. 
The Skipper, that saddled the cow. 

And rid seven miles for the howdy. 
Was dancin wiv Jenny Bawloo, 

Thiit scadded her gob wiv a crowdy. 
Tol de rol, &c. 



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60 

Then a chep, wiv a Aow on has back, 

Oini an' show'd us fine picturet, se funny ; 
He whupt it a' off in a crack. 

Because they wad ^ether ne munny. 
To end with^ their cam a Balloon, 

But some gav it's puddings a slit, man ; 
f*or, afore it gat up to the m^un. 

It empty'd itsel i' the pit, man. 

Tol de rol, 5cc. 
NEWCASSEL RACES. 

BY WILLIAM WAT80N. 

IT'S hae ye heard the ill that's duin ? 
Or bae ye lost ? or hae ye won ? 
Or hae ye seen what mirth an' fun. 

At fam'd Newcassel Races, o ? 
Th^ weather Ane, an' folka sae gay. 
Put on then- best and bent their way 
To the Town Moor, to spend the ikty, 

At fiim'd Ntwowsel Races, o. 

There shows of all sorts you may riew ; 
Polito's gran<J collection too ; 
Such noise an' din, an' lilli-bulloo^ 

At fam'd Newcassel Races, o. 
There some on horses sat j^stride, 
An* some in gigs did snugly ride. 
With smart young wendies by their side ; 

Look'd stilish at the Races, a 

A Tailor chep aw chanc'd tc spy. 
Was sneekin through the crowci aaesly. 
For he'd tyen the darlin of hi»eye, 
To swagger at the Races, o. 



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He sayt^ My dear, we'll see the show. 
Egad ! says she, I do not know. 
It looks io vulgar and so loir^ 
We'd better see the Races, o. 

One Back cries, Demme, go the rig I 

Got two smart lasses in a gig ; 

He crack'd his whip, an' look'd quite big. 

While swagg'rin at the Races, o. 
But soon, alas ! the gig upset, 
An ugly thump they each did get ; 
Some say, that he his breeches wet. 

For fear, when at the Races, o. 

The one was lyem'd abuin die knee. 

The other freeten'd desp'rately; 

" This demm'd unlucky job !" says she, 

*' Has fairly spoil'd my Races, o !'* 
He gat them in, wi' some delay. 
An' te Newcassel bent his way ; 
But oft, indeed, he curs'd the day. 

That e'er he'd seen the Races, o. 

Now some were singin songs sae fine. 
An' some were lying drunk like swine. 
Some drank porter, others wine ; 

Rare drinkia' at the Races, of 
The wsnton wags in comers sat. 
Wit bonny lasses on their lap ; 
An' mony a yen gat tit for tet. 

Before they left the Races, o. 

Now lads and lasses royed for toon. 
And in the road they oft lay doon ; 
Fdth 1 mony a lassie spoil'd her goon, 

A comin fra the Raceai, o t 
Some gat hyem, midst outs and ini,. 
Some had black eyes an' broken ahio^ 
An' some lay drunk amang^ tiie whins^ 

A comin frae the Races, a 



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68 

Let every one his station mense^ 
By acting like a man of sense; 
'Twill save him mony a pund expense. 

When he gans te the Races, o. 
Kind Friends, I would you all advise. 
Good counsel ye shud ne'er despise. 
The world's opinion always prize. 

When ye gan te the Races, o. 

THE GLISTER. 

SOME time since, a Pitman was tyen varry bad. 
So ca'd his wife Mall te the side of his bed : 
Thou raun run for a l>octor, the forst.can be fund. 
For maw belly's a' wrang, an* aw'ra varry fast bund. 

Wey, man, thou's a fuil, aw ken thou's fast boon, 
Wi' thy last bindin munny thou bowt this new goon : 
Nae Doctor can lowze thou one morsel or crumb. 
For thou's bun te Tyne Main for this ten month te come. 

Aw divent mean that — maw belly's Sfte sair ; 
Run fast, or aw'U dee lang afore ye get there ! 
So away Mally ran to their awn doctor's shop ; 
Gie me sometbin for Tom, for his belly's stopt up. 

A Glister she gat — and nae langer she'd wait. 
But straight she ran hyem, an' gat out a dean plate : 
Oh, Tommy ! maw Tom ! ony haud up thy heed ! 
Here's sometbin 'ill mend thou, suppose thou was deed. 

Thou mun eat up that haggish, but sup the thin forst ; 
Aw's freeten'd that stoppel it will be the worst. 
Oh, Mally ! thou'll puzzen poor Tom altogether. 
If aw drink a' the thin, an' then eat up the blether. ' 

He manag'd it a', wiv a great deal to do. — 
Oh, Mally ! oh, Mally 1 thou's puzzen'd me now ! 
But she tuik nae notice of poor Tommy's pain. 
But straight ahe ran off te the Doctor's again. 



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O Doetor ! maw hinny ! Tom's tyen'd a' thege^er^ 
He f upp'd up the thin, then he eat up the blether : 
The blether was tuif, it myest stuck in his thropple ; 
If he haddcnt bad teeth he wad eaten the stopple. 

Oh, woman ! you have been in too great a hurry, 
'Stead of mending your husband^ you'll have him te 

bury: 
'Stead of making him better, you' vesure made him warse. 
For you've put in his mouth what should gone up hk 

THE BABOON, 

SUM time since, sum wild beasts there cam te the toon. 
And in the colleotion a famous Baboon, 
In uniform drest-r-if my story you're wiliin 
To believe, he gat low^e, and ran te the High FelUn. 

Fol de rol la, 6cc. 

Three Pitmen cam up — they were smoaking their pipe. 
When straight in afore them Jake lowp'dower the dike : 
Ho, Jemmy! smash, marrow! here^ a reed-coated Jew« 
For his fyace is a' hairy, an' he hez on nae shoe. 

Wey, man, thou's a fuil ! for ye divent tell true. 
If thou says 'at that fellow was ever a Jew : 
Aw'U lay thou a quairt, as surd's my nyem^s Jack, 
That queer luikin chep's just a Russian Cossack. 

He's nae Volunteer, that aw ken biv his wauk; 
An' if he's outlandish, we'll ken biv his tauk: 
He's a lang sword ahint him, ye'U aee'd when he turns; 
Ony luik at bis fyace ! smash his byens, how he gurnsi 

Tom flang doon his pipe, an' set up a great yell ; 
He's owther a spy, or Bonnypairty's awnsel : 
I V a crack the High Felltn was in full hue an' cry, 
Te catch Beonypairt, or the hairy French spy. 
£ 



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The wives scavnperM off, for fear he should bite. 
The men-folks an' dogs ran te grip him sae tight ; 
If we catch him, said they, he's hev ne lodgin here, 
Ne, not e'en a drop o' Reed Robin's sma' beer. 

Fol de rol la, &c. 

TILL THE TIDE COMES IN. 

WHILE strolling down sweet Sandgate- street, 
A man o' war's blade I chanc'd to meet ; 
To the sign of the Ship I haul'd him in. 
To drink a good glass, till the tide came in. 

Till the tide came in, SiC. 

1 took in tow young Squinting Meg, 
Who well in the dance could shake her leg: 
My friend haul'd Oyster Mally in. 
And we jigg'd them about till the tide came in. 
Till the tide came in, &c. 

We boos'd away till the break of day. 
Then ask'd what shot we had to pay ? 
You've drank, said the host, nine pints. of gin; 
So we paid him his due — now the tide was in. 

, Now the tide was in, &c. 

THE SANDGATE LASSIE'S LAMENT. 

THEY've preit my dear Johnny, 

Sae sprightly and bonny, — 
Alack ! I shall ne'er mair de weel, o ; 

The kidnapping squad 

Laid hold of my lad 
As he was unmooring the keel, o. 

O my sweet laddie. 
My canny keel laddie, 
Sae handsome, sa^ canty, and free, o ; 



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71 

Had he staid on the Tyne, 
Ere now he'd been mine« 
Bat^ oh ! he's far eHrer the sea, o* 

Should he fall by commotion. 

Or sink in the ocean, 
(May sic tidings ne'er come to the Kee, o ! 

I could ne'er mair be glad. 

For the loss of my lad 
Wad break my poor heart, and I'd dee, o. 
O my sweet laddie, && 

But should my dear tar 

Come safe from the war. 
What heart-bounding joy wad aw feel, o ! 

To the Church we wad flee. 

And married be. 
And again he should row in his keel, o. 

O, my sweet laddie I 

My canny keel laddie ! 
S^e handsome, sae canty, and free, o ! 

Though far frae the Tyne, 

I stitl hope he'll be mine. 
And live happy as any can be, o. 

THE POLITICIANS. 

BY T. R. VALENTINE, OATESHEABL 

LAST Setterday, as we were gannin 

Frae Newcassel, Dick Martin and I, 
We caw'd at the sign o' the Cannon, 

Because we byeth tum'd varry dry. 
They were taukin o' reedin the papers, 

'Bout Cobbett an' his politics. 
How iine he exposes the capers 

Of Government's comical tricks. 
E 2 



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72 

He tauks o' tlie hlillion's expences 

Browt on us by gaririin te war : . 
But he maun be a man o' greet senses. 

Or he cudd^nt hac reckoA'd sfiEie fat. 
He tauks o' the National Debt» 

O' sinequeers, penskms, an' such ; 
Wey, aw think how wor Mally ^ad fret. 

If she*d awn just quarter as mochr 

Mister Government mun hae greet credit^ 

Or he ne'er wad get into debt ;. 
But they tell yen he Hez sike a ^h*ft, 

Aw's fish that comes inliv his net. 
Says Dick, If aw ^aWted a shilliti. 

Want, then, yor sartin aw must ; 
For, if yen was evpr sae willin. 

Ye divent ken Whei^ to ^eek trust. 

We expected that, when it cam f eace, 

Wor sowgers arid sa'flors reduced, 
Wor burdens they quickly wad cease. 

But, smash ! man, we'vie been s^ir seauc'd. 
5ays Dicky^ The taxes this year, 

Myeks yen cry^ Tv a rage, Devil liang them ! 
For the backey an' yell they're sae dear — 

Wey, it's just a dofloguin anUtig them* 

Good fbll^ ! iiw ^ad Hev ye bewkre 

OF some that in Parliament sit ; 
For they're not hauf sae good as they waur. 

Sin' that taistrel they caw'ii Billy Pitt. 
If ye 'loo them tc; de as they please. 

Believe me, aw^m shure, a^e, an' sartin. 
They'll brib'g'us, syef doon te wor knees ! 

Se ended byeth Dick an' Jack Martin. 



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7S 

NAUfGY ^ILIflNSON- 

AT (]!4il|ercpats, pp^ to \\ie se^, 
Lives one I often think upon ;. 
Bewitching is the lovely e'e 
Of bonny Nancy Wilkinson. 

By Tyne, or Blyth, or Coquet elear^ 

No swain did ever l^link upon 
A charmer^ equal to my dear. 
My handsome Nancy Wilkinson. 

Sweet cherry dieeks, a Jofty brQW> 

Bright hair, that waves in hx^^ nppn 
A neck, white as the pure/it SQovr^ 

Has comely Nanc^ Wilkinson. 

Ry Tyjoe, or BIyth, &c. 
Her virtuf^, like her fce^uty, x^fi ; 

But terms I ne'er c^ f^}i^ upon. 
Fit to paf\?gyi^ze n?y (aji^r. 

My constant Nancy ^i^ifi^on. 

By Tyj^,^Blyth,&c. 

For her ric^ Jiadies I'd jr^^C^^, 
With all their ^l^injpg ^nfi^^s ,^ ; 

None el^ jcfin jvake fffy ^nxpf^^j^pg }^v^pe, 
But lovely Nancy )yij^i9spn. 

By Ty,^^,. or Blyth,&c. 

Aujwwa, ft<«p *e JEft^r^ ^, 
Her robes ,^e gloiwing fAnX^ .uf pp> 

Is not so vif^^ly tp ^i^^ ^e, 
As modest N^ncy ^Wilja^^^oj). 

By T^pe^ qr' Blyth, kc. 

Let sordid ;MU8€srs qpwt t|l^ir .^^^th. 

And guineas guin^ <^lipK uj^qn; 
All I request of liefty',^1 ;• k^^^ 
And dear, dear N^^cy ,Wi^5.^p|90- 

8y Tjjfte, or Blyth, &c. 
E 3 



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74 
BILLY OLIVER'S RAMBLE, 

BETWEEN BENWELL AND NEW&ASTIrE, 

ME nyem it's Billy Oliver, 

Iv Benwell toon aw dwell ; 
An'.aw's a clever chep, aw's sure, 

Tho' aw de say'd inesell. 
Sec an a clever diep am aw, am aw, am aw. 
Sec an a clever chep am aw. 

There's not a lad iv a' wur wark. 

Can put or hew wi' me ; 
Nor not a lad iv Benwell toon 

Can coax the lasses sae. 

Sec an a clever chep, &c. 

When aw gans tiv Newcassel toon 

Aw myeks mesell sae fine; 
Wur ncybors stand an' stare at me. 

An' say, £h ! what a shine ! . 

Sec an a clever chep, &c. 

An' tlien aw walks wiv sec an air. 

That if the folks hev eyes. 
They a'wis think it's sum greet roan, - 

That's cumin i' disguise. 

S^ an a clever chep, &c» 

An' when aw gans down Westgate-street, 

An' alang biv Denton Chare, 
Aw whussels a' the way aw gans^ 

To myek the people stare. 

Sec an a clever chep, &c. 

An' then aw gans intiv the Cock, 

Ca's for a pint o' beer; 
An' when the lassie comes in wid> 

Aw a'wis says. Maw dear ! « 

Sec an a •lever chep, &c. 



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75 

An' when aw gets a pint o' beer^ 

Aw a'wis sings a sang ; 
For aw've a nice yen aw can sing, 

Si^ an' thorty vairses laog. 

Sec an a clever chep, &c« 

An' if the folks that's i' the house^ 
Cry, " Had yur tongue, ye cull !" 

Aw's shure to hev a fight wi* them. 
For aw's as Strang as ony bull. 

Sec an a clever chep, 5cc. 

An' when aw've had a fight or twee. 

An' fairly useless grown ; 
Aw back, as drunk as aw can be. 

To canny Ben well toon. 

Sec an a clever chep, &c. 

BOB CRANKY'S ACCOUNT 

OF THE ASCENT QF MR. SADLER's BALLOON*, 
From Newcastle, Sept. 1, IS 15. 

HOWAY, a* me marrows, big, little, and drest. 

The furst of a' sects may be seen ; 
It*8 the Balloon, man, se greet ! aye, faiks ! it's ne jest, 

Tho' it seems a* the warld, like a dream. 
Aw read iv the papers, by gocks ! aw remember. 

It's to flee without wings i' the air, 
*On this varry Friday, the furst of September, 

Be it cloudy, wet weather, or fair. 

And a man, mun, there means in this varry Balloon, 

Above, 'mang the stars to fly, 
Ai;d to baud a convarse wi' the man i' the moon. 

And cobwebs to sweep frae the sky. 
So we started frae hyem by eight i' the morn, 

Byeth faither, and mother, and son. 
But fand a' wor neybors had started before. 

To get in gude time for the fun. 



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76 

The lanes were a' cronded, aome ridings sothc Dralking, 

Aw ne'er see'd the like iv my life ; 
'Twas Bedlam broke oot, ow thowt by their laikitig. 

Every bairn, lad, lass, and the wife. 
The folks At the Wrnders a' jeer'd as we past^ 

And thowt a' wor numbers surprisin ; 
They star'd and they glowr'd, an* ax'd, in jest, 

Are all of you |»tmen a rising ? 

Aw fand, at the toon te, the shops a' shut up. 

And the streets wf folks were sae flocken ; 
The walls wi' Balloon papers sae closely clag'd ilp^ 

Be cavers ! it luckt like a hoppen. 
A fellow was turnin it a' into joke. 

Another was a' the folks hummin. 
While a third said, it was a bag full o' smoke. 

That uwer wor heeds was a cummin. 

To the furst o* these cheps, says aw, Nyen o* yur fun. 

Or aw'll lay thee at length on the eftyens. 
Or thy teeth aw'll beat oot, as tfure tA a gun. 

And mevies aw'll choke ye wi' byens. 
To the beak o' the second aw held up me fist, 

D— -mn ! aw'll bray ye as black as a craw, 
Aw'll knock oot yur e'e, if aw don't aw'll be kist. 

An' mump a' the slack o' yur jaw. 

Aw put them to reets, an' onward «W ste6r*d. 

And wonder'd the folks aw had see'd. 
But a' was palaver that eyer aw heurd. 

So aw walk'd on as other folk did. 
' At last aw gat up on the top o' wxoe sheds, 

Biv the help of an ould craiy kdder ; 
And ower the tops o' ten thoutand folks heads^ 

Aw suin gat a gliff o' the blailder. 

D — ^mn, a bladder aw call it ! by gocks, aw ara refct. 
For o' silk dipt iv leadeater melted. 



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77 

It's made o^ an' Lord ! what a wonderful seet. 
When the gun telFd that it mdi^JiUited. 

'Twas just like the boiler at wor Bella Pit^ 
O'er which were a great cabbage net> 

Which fassen'dy by a parcel of strings sae fit» 
A corf for the maiinie to sit. 

As aw sat at me ease aw cud hear a' the folk 

Gie their notions aboot tbe Balloon ; 
Aw thowt aw shud brust when aw heurd their itrange 
talk. 

About the man's gaun to the Moon. 
Says yen, iv a whisper. Aw think aw hev heurd 

He is carryin a letter to Bonny, 
That's ower the sea to flee like a burd ; 

The thowt, by my jinkers ! was funny. 

A chep wiv a fysce like a pcor country bumpkin, 

Sed he heurd, but may hap tisetit true. 
That the thing whilk they saw w«s a great ^iJben 
pumpkin, 

By me cyi, what a lilly-ba-loo I 
Another said, Sadler (for that is the nyem 

Of the man) may pay iear for his fVolic, 
When he's up iv t£e doods (a stree for his fam^ !) 

His guts may hev twangs of the cholic. 

The man a* this time the great bladder was filling, 

Wiv stuff that wad myed a dog sick. 
It smcfh jast as though they were garvage distilling. 

Till at length it was futl as a tick. 
They next strain'd the Topea to keep the thir^g steady. 

Put coUey and drams iv the boat ; 
Then cradc went the cannon, to say it was ready. 

An' aw see'd the bladder afloat. 

Not a word was iSiere heurd, a' eyej w«re a stairin, 
PV the off gannen moment was near : 



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78 j 

To see sic a crowd se whisht was amazen. 

Aw thowt aw fand palish and queer. 
After waitin a wee, aw see'd him come to. 

Shaken hands, as aw thowt, wiv his friend ; 
Of his mountin the corf aw had a full view. 

As he sat his ways down at the end. 

The ropes were ijlen cut, and upwards he went, 

A wavin his flag i' the air ; 
Ev'ry head was turn'd up, and a* eyes wur intent 

On this comical new flying chair : 
It went it's ways up like a lavrick sae hee. 

Till it luckt *bout the size of a skyate ; 
When in tiv a cloud it was lost t* the c*e. 

Aw wisht the man better i' fate. 

GREENS BALLOON. 

[Mess. Green ascended in their grand Coronation Balloon, from ^ 

the l^uns* field, in Newcastle, four times : the first-time, on 
Wednesday, May 1 1 ; second time, on Whit-Monday « May 23 ; 
third time, on Monday, May 30 ; and the foutth time, on 
Race Thursday, July 1 4, 1 83^.] 

Tune—" Barbara Bell." 

NOW just come an lissen a while, till aw tell, man. 

Of a wonderful seet t'other day aw did see : 
As aw was gaun trudgen alang by mysel, man. 

Aw met wi' wor skipper, aye just on the Key. 
O skipper, says aw, mun, wye where are ye gannen ? 

Says he, come wi' me, for aw's gaun up the toon ; 
N«w just come away, for we munnet stand blabbin, 4i 

Or we'll be owcr lang for to see the Balloon. 
Right fal de, &c. 

The balloon, man, says aw, wye aw never heard tell on't. 
What kind o' thing is it ? now skipper tell me : 

Says he. It's a thing that gans up by the sel' on't. 
And if ye'll gan to the Nuns' Gate, man, yell see. 



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79 

So to the Nnns' Gate then we went in a hurry, 

And when we gat there^ man^ the folks stood in 
crowds ; 
And aw heerd a chep say, he wad be varry sorry 
If it went to the moon^ rcet clean thro* the clouds. 
Right fal de, &c. 

We stared and luikt round us, but nt>ught could we 
see, man. 
Till a thing it went up as they fir'd a gun : 
Cried the skipper. Aw warnd that's the little Pee-dee, 
man, 
Gyen to tell folks above 'twill be there varry suin. 
Then a' iv a sudden it cam ower the house tops, man. 

It was like a hay- stack, and luikt just as big ; 
Wiv a boat at the tail on't, all tied tid wi' ropes, man, 
Begox ! it was just like wor awd Sandgate gig. 
Right fal de, &c. 

And there was twe cheps that sat in the inside, man, 

Wi' twe little things they kept poweyin her roun' ; 
Just like wor skipper when we've a bad tide, man : 

Aw warnd they were fear*d that the thing wad come 
down ; 
And still the twe cheps kept poweyin her reet, man, 

Fojr upwards she went, aye clean ower the toon ; 
Theypowey'd till theypowey'd her reet out o' seet,man. 

That was a* that we saw o' this grand air balloon. 
Right fal de, &c. 

The skipper cam to me, tuik baud o* my hand, man. 

Says, What do ye think o' this sect that's been given ? 
Says aw. Aw can't tell, but it's a' very grand, man ; 

Aw wish ^e cheps byeth safely landed in heaven. 
*Twad be a good plan to tyek's up when we're deed, 
man ; 

For which way we get there 'twill be a* the syem : 
An' then for wor Priests we'd stand little need, man : 

So me an' the skipper we went wor ways hyem. 
Right fal de, &c. 



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80 

THE NEWGATE STREET PETITION 

TO MR. MAYOR* 

ALACK ! and well-a-day ! 

Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor ; 
We are all to grief a prey, 

Mr Mayor ; 
They are pulling Newgate down. 
That structure of renown. 
Which BO long hath graced our town^ 

Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor. 

Antiquarians think't a scandal, 

Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor ; 

It would shock a Goth or Vandal, 
They declare : 

What ! destroy the finest Lion 

Tbat ever Man set eye on ! 

'Tis a deed all must cry He on, 
Mr Mayor, Mr Miay.or. 

Saint Andrew's Parishioners, 

Mr Mayor, Mr Mnyor, 
Loud blame thjs Jail-CommUi^iouers, 

Mr Mayor ; 
To pull down fL Pile so splendid. 
Shews their powers are too extended 
And The Act must he amended, 

Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor. 

If BkckeU Street they'd lerel, 

Mr Mayor, Mr Maypr, • 

Or with Bond Street* play the dcvfl. 
Who would care : 



• Now calkd Eciidboe ^\;[$9$^ 



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«1 

But on Nefvgtite's tna^sive walls. 
When Destructidti^is hammer falls. 
For our sympathy it tails, 

Mr Mayor, Mr Maybr, 

'Tis a Pile of ancient standing. 
Air Mayor, Mr Mayor, 

Deep reverence commanding, 
Mr Mayor; 

Men of Note luid JEsiimation, 

In their course of "Elevation^ 

Have in it held a station, 

Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor. 

'Tis a first-rate kihd t)f College, 
Mr Majror, Mr Mayor, 

Where is taught mncfa useful knowledge, 
Mr Mayor: 

When our fortunes '' gang aglee," 

If wort by Mr Gfce* 

Does but xiti u« turn his key. 

All's soon well, Mr Mayor. 

In beauty, nought <;an match it, 
Mr M^fyor, Mr ^aybr : 

Should you think we "Uiriih iHe Hatchet, 
Mr Mayor, 

John A— n, "with eawe, 

(In purest Portug^'ize) 

Will convince you, if Jroii please 

To consult him, Mr Mayor. 

He'll prdve t'ye, in a trice, 

Mr Miyor, Mr Mayor, 

Tis a pearl of great price, 
Mr Mayor : 

• TIte OMier. 



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82 

For of ancient wood or stone. 
The value— few or none. 
Can better tell than John, 

Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor. 

Of this Edifice bereft, 

Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor, 
To the Neighbourhood what's left? 

Mr Mayor, 
The Nuris* Gate, it k true. 
Still rises to our view. 
But that Modern Babel, few 

Much admire, Mr Mayor. 

True, a Building 'tis, unique, 

Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor, 
A chaLTiningJanoy 'freak, 

Mr Mayor : 
But candour doth impel us. 
To own, that Strangers tell us. 
The Lodge of our Odd-FeUom, 

They supposed it, Mr Mayor. 

Still, if Newgate's doom'd to go, 
Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor, 

To the CarUol Croft — heigho-ho I 
Mr Mayor, 

As sure as you're alive, ; 

(And long, sir, may you thrive,) 

The shock we'll ne'er survive, « 
Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor. 

Then pity our condition, 

Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor, 

And stop it's demolition, 
Mr Mayor ; 

The Commissioners restrain. 

From causing us such pain. 

And we'll pay, and ne'er complain. 
The Jail'Cea, . Mr Mayor. 



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83 

BURDON'S ADDRESS TO HIS CAVALRV. 

A PARODY. — BY JAMES MORRISON. 

SOLDIERS whom Newcastle's bred. 
View your Cornel at your head, 
Who's been call'd out of his bed 

To serve his Country. 
Now's the time, when British Tars 
With their Owners are at wars; 
And they've sent for us — O Mars ! 

Assist the Cavalry ! 

Now, my noble Sons of Tyne ! 
Let your valour nobly shine ; 
There at last has come a time 

To shew your bravery. 
But, my lads^ be not alarm'd ! 
You ve to fight with men unarm'd ! 
Who in multitudes have swarm'd-— 

Before us they must flee ! 

Then they cry out, every man, 
" Cornel, we'll de a' we can !" 
So away to Shields they ran : 

O what Cavalry ! 
But they had no call to fight. 
The Marines had bet them quite ; 
And the Cornel's made a Knight, 

For the Victory ! 

THE COLLIER'S KEEK AT THE NATION. 

HUZ Colliers, for a' they can say, 

Hae byeth heads and hearts that are sound—- 
And if we're but teun i' wor way, 

I'here's few better cheps above ground. 



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Tom Cavers and me, fra West Moor, 

On a kind ov a jollification. 
Yen day myed what some foliis call a tour. 

For a keek at the state o' the nation. 

We fand ere we'd lar\g been on jaunt. 

That the world wasn't gannin sae clivers- 
It had gettin a Howdon-Pan cant. 

As aw gat -once at wor box dinner. 
Monny tyels, tee, we heard, stiff and gleg—* 

Some laid the world straight as a die-<- 
Some crook 'd as a dog's hinder leg. 

Or like wor fitter's nose, 41 a- wry. 

One tell'd me, my heart for to flay, 

(Thinking aw knew tiowt aboot town) 
Out o* my three-and-sixpence a-day. 

The King always gat half-a-crown. 
Aw said they were fuels not to ken 

That aw gat a' the brass me awnsel' — 
Ga' wor Peg three white shillins, and then 

Laid the rest out on backey and yell ! 

They blabb'doot that aw was mistuen — 

That maw brains sairly wanted sedudion-^ 
Without animal Parliaments seun 

We wad a' gan to wreck and eonslruetion — 
That we*d wrought ower lang for wor lair-— 

That landlords were styen-*hearted tykes^— 
For their houses and land only lair. 

To divide them and live as yen likes ! 
To bring a' these fine things aboot 

WTas fts eai^y as dekinig indent is — 
Only get some rapscallion sought oot. 

And to Lunnin sent.uplo 'present us. 
Tiudka «w tomesel' i^at's weel meant— 

There's wor Cuddy owre ikit)i tjo dee g%oA» 
We'll hev him « to PaiUaownt sen^. 

Where he'll bray, smash his byens, for his blood. 



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Then, «ays aw, Tommy, keep up thy plucky 

We may a' live to honour wor nation — 
So here's ti<r Au'd England, good luck ! 

And may each be content in his station. 
Huz Colliers, for a' they can say, 

Hae byeth heeds and hearts that are sound*- 
And if we're but teun i* wor way. 

There's few better cheps above ground, 

BLIND WILLIE SINGING, 

YE gowks that 'lx)ut daft Handel swarm. 

Your senses but to harrow — 
Styen deef to strains that 'myest wad charm 

The heart iv a wheelbarrow— 
To wor Keyside a while repair, 

'Mang malls an' bullies pig in. 
To hear encor'd, wi* mony a blair. 

Poor au'd Blind Willie's singin*. 

To hear fine Sinclair tune his pipes ^ 

Is hardly worth a scuddock — 
It's blarney fair, and stale as swipei 

Kept ower lang i' the huddock. 
Byeth Braham and Horn behint the wa' 

Might just as weel be swingin. 
For a' their squeelin's nowt at a' 

Beside Blind Willie singin'. 

About " Sir Maffa" lang he sung. 

Far into high life keekin'— 
Till ** Buy Broom Buzzoms" roundly swung. 

He ga' their lugs a sweepin'. 
A stave yence myed Dumb Bet to greets 

Sae fine wi' catgut stringin' — 
Bold Airchy swore it was a treat 

To bear Blind Willie singin'. 



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Aw'ye beu'd it said, Fat^ Welch, onc^tj^. 

On peppcr'cj o^^sters inessin'. 
Went in to )i^ar him sing and play« 

An' get a moral lesson. 
She vow'd 'twas hard to h?iud a he^l — 

An thowt (fte glas? wliil.e flingin) 
\Vi' darts tliey should be plaister*4 we^l 

Tfa^t jeer'd Blind WiUie'§ sinjin'. 

It's fine to hear wor bellman talk-«- 

It's wondrous fine and cheerin' 
To hear Bet IVal and Euphyi ScqU 

Scold, fight, or bawl fresh heerin' : 
To see the keels upon the iTyne, 

As thick as hops a' swimmin'. 
Is fine indeed — but still mair fine 

To hear Blind Willie smgin^ 

Lang may wor Tyneside lads^ ij^e ti;ue9 

In heart byetK blithe an mellow. 
Bestow the praise that'^ feirly due 

To this bluflC hpi^e^t fdilov— 
And when he's bamper/d i' the du^ 

Still i* wor mf^iAQty springin'. 
The times we'v^ rjuji tiU like to b£ast 

To hear Blind WHtie singin'. 

But may he live to cheer the bobs 

That skew the coals to shiv^irp, 
sWhee like their drink to* grip t^^^r goifSf 

And burn their varry liiers^ 
So, if ye please, aw*ff mjek ah ^n^ 

My sang ne tartber ^mgin', 
Lett ye may wink tlBiat aw' pretepd 

To match BHn^ Wilh> ^in^S).'. 



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BOLD ARCHY AND BLIND WILLIE'* LAMENT 

ON THE I>EATH OF CAPTAIN STARKET. 

*' What ! is he gym ?'* Bold Airchy said. 

And moungin' scratched his head — 
** O can sic waesome news be true ? 

Is Captain Starkey dead ? 
Aw's griev'd at heart— push round the can — 

Seun empty frae wor hands we'll chuck it — 
For now we'll drink wor last t' hina. 

Since he hez fairly kick'd the bucket 
^ My good shag bat Be mair aw'U wa^ve 

His canny fyace to see— 
Wor bairns' bairns will sing o' htm^ 

As Gilchrist skigs o' me-— 
For O! he ^ttaa a kid c^ wax i 

Aw've seen him blithe, an* often mellow— 
He might hae faults, but, wi* them a'. 

We've serdom. seen a better fbllow. 

** Yen day they had me dffown'd fop fuoy 

Which nyed the folks ta blaiv. 
Aw myest could wish, for hia dear sakfi. 

That aw'd been drownM fear fair. 
On monny a day when cannons roar. 

Yen loyal heart will then be missih'— - 
If there be yell, we'll toast his nyem — 

If there be ng^ei^ he'll get wor blissin'." 

Blind Willie then strumra'd up his kit 

Wi' monny a weary drone, 
Which Thropltr, drunks and Cuckoa Tack 

Byetb answer'd wiv a groan. 
'•^ Nice chep t pocw* chep !'* BUnd VTillie said^ 

"My heart is pierc'd l&e onny nddle. 
To think aw'Ve liv'd to see him dead — 

Aw never mair ^ll-play the fiddle. 
F 2 



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" His gam is up^ his pipe is out, 

And fairly laid his craw — 
His fame 'ill blaw about, just like 

Coal dust at Shiney-Raw. 
He surely was a joker rare — 

What times there'd been for a' the nation. 
Had he but liv'd to be a Mayor, 

Thfc glory o* wor Corporation. 

" But he hez gi'en us a' the slip. 

And gyen for evermore — 
Au'd Judy and Jack Coxon, tee, 

Hae gyen awhile before — 
And we maun shortly follow them, 

An' tyek the bag, my worthy gentles—- 
Then what 'ill poor Newcassel dee. 

Deprived iv all her ornamentals ! 

" We'll moralize — for dowly thowts. 

Are mair wor friends than foes — 
For death, like when the tankard's out. 

Brings a' things tiv a close. 
May we like him, frae grief and toil. 

When laid in peace beneath the hether — 
Upon the last eternal shore 

A* happy, happy meet together !'* 

THE QUACK DOCTORS. 

WOR laureate may sing for his cash. 

Of laws, constitution, and proctors. 
Contented aw 11 blair for a dash 

At the slee, understrupping quack doctors. 
They gob o' their physical skill. 

Till their jaws yen might swear they wad rive. 
To prove what*8 alive they can kill. 

And what's dead they can suen myek alive. 



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A* ye wi* the glanders snout-full^ 

Repair to each wondrous adviser-* 
For though ye were bom a stark fuel^ 

Depend on't, they'll seun myek ye wiser. 
Their physic, they say, in a tcice^ 

Snaps every disease like a towt ; 
But the best on't all is their advice — 

Ye can get it free gratis for nowt 

Wiv a kessle puffed up to the chin. 

Went to see yen, a strappin' young doxy. 
He examined her lugs and her een. 

And declared her myest dead o' the dropsy. 
The lassie he therefore wad tap. 

At which she set up a great yell ; 
When out popp'd a little wee chap 

Myest as wise as the doctor's awnsel*. 

Next they teuk him a man, whee for fancies, 

A' day wad sit silent and sad — 
He upheld that he'd lost his reet senses. 

And therefore he surely was mad. 
But now he gies monny a roar, 

OF the doctor's great skill to convince— 
If he was*nt a madman before. 

At least he's been yen ever since. 

Last, in hobbled gouty Sir Peter, 

To get ov his drugs a good dose — 
Three days he deep studied his water. 

Ere he'd his opinion disclose. 
Then proclaimed that Sir Peet was ower fat, 

(For the doctor was never mistyen) 
By my faiks ! but he cur'd him o' that— 

Seun Sir Peet left the world skin and byen. 

Now, he that winn't loyally siqg, 
May he swing like an ass in a tether, 
F 3 



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Good hilth and lung life to t1i« King, 
To keep ut in anion together. 

The heart iv each Briton he lettda 
To rejoice i' the fall o' the quacks^-^ 

So we'll ay keep the brains i* wor heeds, 
An' we'll ay hae the flesh on wor backe. 



A VOYAGE TO LUNNIN. 

LANG years ower meadows, moors, «id mtick, 

I cheerly on did waddle— «- 
So various is the chance o* luck 

Between the grave and cradle. 
When wark at hyem tum'd rather scant, 

I thought 'twas fair humbuggin' ; 
An' so aw even teuk a jaunt, 

Faiks, a' the way to Lunnitt. 

Lord Htmkk was my chosen ship, 

Weel rigg'd byeth stem and quarter 
The maister was a cannie chep-— 

They ca*d him Jacky Carter. 
Wi' heart as free frae guilt as care, 

I pack'd up all my duddin. 
And shipp'd aboard-— the wind blew fiur-* 

Away we sail'd for Lunnin. ^ 

Safe ower the bar a^head wetint*^ 

The day was fine and sonny ; 
And seun we left a&r belunt, 

Wor land o' milk and honey. 
But few their dowly thoughts can tftwh-^ 

May-be the tears were comin'. — 
Sair griev'd, ne doubt, to pairt wi' hyera. 

Though gaun to keek at Lunnin. 



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Farcweei, tjii ferfg Und cftnft Kefe, 

Where aw've ^efeh lindriny a ihkh^jg 
Blind Willie, Captain Starkey ttt— 

Bold Archy and great Hangy. 
Fafre^eel Shoe Ties, Jact tate, Whirl Bob, 

Cull Billy, and Jack Cummin, 
Au*d Judy, Jen Balloo— aw'll sob 

Your praises all at Lunnin. 

Sdme khch a$ mfe the hyke Aadt sick. 

And myed them riie their roarairt'. 
Still f<A'^mo8t plungM wof glfllahi ibip. 

And l6ft the i^ater foamitt'. 
Waei me ! but 'tis a bohiy 6^k, 

O land 6* beef ^nd puddin f * 
To see thy tats, in pluck coipplete^ 

Haud fair their course for Lunnin ! 

Hail, Tyneifdfe lidd ! fncblliei- tes; ' 

The first in mi^ht ^lidf rnotio^— 
In sunsTiiifte dkjr^ or stofit^y ne^tl 

The Jdrd^ trp'ori the dc^an. 
Come Englantrs fdfes— ^'i coiitrtrdk^ <J^e^— ^ 

Yc'll gie their gdbi^ d Aiutntnih^, 
An^^myek them a' the day to rtre^ 

They glib'd their jaws at Lunniir. 

I thougM Ay^ d siflTflfr ^6dd, 

And flire'd ^hll^^iirfe fey s^FiSJ^lfe', 
Till WBih'4 tU fmitik' Rottn ¥f(M 

Sends out hii^c^mtf &t squdliii* — 
*Twa8 thef^ i^ felt ^ 6^td ken ho*?— 

For a' things tue^ & titiniMn', 
And myed me .wish, wi' ifet^ atld ifpeW, 

The ship safe moor'd at Lunniit. 

As roBfitf ^ ffihibM^ti Wead we slidf, 
Down calX d ^of-ra tiporf us— 



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Q2. 

Thinks tw, we're fairly gyen to pot— 

O dear ! — hcv merc|r on us ! 
Ower northern plains, 'twill dowly sound. 

And set their eyes a runnin'. 
When they shall tell that aw was drown'd, ' 

Just gannin up to Lunnin. 

To cheer wor hearts in yain they brought 

The porter, grog, and toddy— 
My head swam round whene'er aw thought 

Upon a fat pan-soddy. 
" O what the plague fetch'd us frae hyem !" 

Some in the glumps were glummin' ; 
I could ha'e blubber'd, but thought shyem^ 

While gaun a voyage to Lunnin. 

'Crosi Boston Deeps how we did spin, 
Skelp'd on by noisy Boreas, 

Up Yarmouth Roads, and seun up Swin, 
The water flew before us. 

O glorious sect ! the Nore's in view- 
Like Are and flood we're scuddin' : 

Ne mair we'll bouk wor boily now. 
But seun be safe at Lunnin. 

Hail, bonny Tyames ! weel smon thy waves ! 

A world might flourish bi' them-— 
And, faiks, they weel deserve the praise 

That a' the world gies ti them. 
O lang may commerce spread her stores 

Full on thy bosom dinnin'— * 
Weel worthy thou to lave the shores 

O' sic a town as Lunnin. 

Seun Black- Wall Point we left astern. 

Far ken'd in dismal story— 
And Greenwich Towers we now discern^ 

Au'd England's pride and glory. 



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Sure Nature's seV inspir'd my staves; 

For I began a crunnin'. 
And blair'd, ' Britannia rule the waves !' 

As by we sail'd for Lunnin. 

Fornenst the Tower, we made a click. 

Where traitors gat their fairins', 
And where they say that hallion Dick 

Yence scumfish'd two wee bairins. 
Hitch, step, and lowp, I sprang ashore. 

My heart reet full o' funnin* — 
And seun forgat the ocean's war 

Amang the joys o' Lunnin. 

THE NEWCASSEL PROPS. 

OH, waes me, for wor canny toon, 

It canna stand it lang— 
The props is tumbling one by one. 

The beeldin seun mun gan ; 
For Death o' late hez no been blate. 

But sent some jovial souls a joggin : 
Aw niver griev'd for Jackey Tate, 

Nor even little Airchy Loggan. 

But when maw lugs was 'lectrified 

Wiv Judy Downey's deeth, 
Alang wi' Heu fy Scott aw cried. 

Till byeth was out o' breeth ; 
For greet an' sma*, fish- wives an' a' 

Luik'd up tiv her wi' veneration — 
If Judy's in the Courts above 

Then for au'd Nick there'll be nae 'casion. 

Next Captain Starkey tuik his stick. 

And myed his final bow ; 
Aw wonder if he's scribblin yet. 

Or what he's efter now ; 



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Or if he's drinking jilU o* y^ll. 

Or axing pennies to buy bitkky-^ 
. If not lillow'd where Starkey V gyen, 

Aw'm sure that he'll b^ quitfe Unhappy. 

Jack Coxon iv a trot went off^ 

One morning very seun— 
Cull Billy said, he'd better stop. 

But Deeth cried, Jackey, come ! 
Oh ! few like him could lift their hee). 

Or tell what halls were in the county : 
Like mony a proud, black coated chiel'. 

Jack liv'd upon the parish bounty. 

But cheer up, lads, and dinna droop. 

Blind Willy's to the fore. 
The blythest iv the motley groop. 

And fairly worth the score : 
O weel aw like to hear him sing, 

'Bout au'd Sir Mat. an' Doctor Etrun^jnt^l^ 
If he but lived to see the King, 

There's nyen o' Willy's friendt n6ed ^UAmeL 

Cull Billy, tee, wor lugs to bliss, 

Wiv nei^S 'bout t'other warld. 
Aw move that, when wor Vicar diJes, 

The place for him be arl'd ; 
For aw really think, wiv half his wit, 

He*d myek a reet good pulpit knocW: 
Aw'U tell ye where the birth wad fit — 

He hugs sae close the paffsh copper. 

Another cbep, and thefi r«^iy<Ki<fii 

He bangs the tothen) far : 
Yor mavies wondefin tHl»^ afst ^^aft*^ 

Ye gowks, it's ToWnjy C-*— * ! 



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9S 

When lodgin'i scarce^ jast spedt to him, 
Yor hapless castf he'll surely pity, 

He'll 'sist upon yor gannin in'» 

To 8i^> wi' S---tt^ an' see the Eitly« 



NEWCASSEL WONDER& 

SIC won<kr» there happens' iv wor cckany U)on, 
Sae wise and sae witty Newcassel hesi f^tontn. 
That for hummin, an' hoaxin, an' tyekin folk in. 
We'll seun learn the LUnneners far better thiftgir. 

We've wonderful Knights, and wdndityas ftas^ar?. 
Wonderful Noodles, and ii^onderfol Mayors ; 
For as lang as a keel gans doon river Tylie, 
¥mt wisdom an' valour, O A-^^-^^yi tboU'l! shin^. 

We've R ■ ■ & and V »> a time-serving crew ; 

But^ says aw to roysel, gie the deevil his due/. 
For ov pfi^sts an' excisemen, an* lifiibs o' the law. 
There's teii tiv the dosS^ 'ill gafi doWn bela#. 

And whe ^viad hae thowt now that iv^r H^d Nitk, 
Wiv wof canny toon wad hae gettin sae thick ; 
That iv Luckley's awd house he's set up Hell'i^ Kitdien, 
Where the ty elyers an' stiobs find the yell se b^t^itchito. 

There's canny Tom Lid — 1 they've myed him a lorci^ 
For learning his ploughmen to play wi' the sword; 
But if ony mvaders should Britain assail^ 
Th^'d slip off their skins an' run te the pldugb XmL 

We've a Captain of watchmen, he's second to nyeM, 
He dislikes to see folks gannin quietly hyem i 
For if ye but mention the nyem o' Tom C-— ri 
To the care 6f Jack S— tt he'll yor body transfer. 



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96 

TIM TUNBELLY. 
Tune—* Canny Newcastle.* 

NOW lay up 5'our lugs, a* ye freemen that's poor. 

An' aw'll rhyme without pension or hire — 
Come listen, ye dons that keep cows on the moor^ 

Though ye couldn't keep them iv a byre— 
An' a' ye non-freemen, wherever ye be, • 

Though danjfe Fortune hez myed sic objections. 
That you're neither o' Toon nor o' Trinity free. 

To be brib'd an* get drunk at elections. , 

When aw was but little, aw mind varry weel 

That Joe C — k was the friend o* the freemen-— 
Aw mysel' heerd him say, his professions to seal. 

He wad care very little to dee, man. 
Corporation corruptions he sair did expose. 

An' show'd plain whee was rock an' whee pigeon- 
While El h, the cobbler, in fury arose. 

An' pummeU'd Sir M w's religion. 

Some sly common councilman happen'd to think 

That the patriots mebbies had pocket— 
So they sent Joe an order for wafers an' ink, 

Ati' the custom-house swallow'd the prophet. 
Now if ever these worthies should happen to dee. 

An' Awd Nick scamper off wiv his booty. 
Just imagine yorsels what reformin' there'll be, 

ir belaw there's ne printin* nor duiy. 

But there's honest folk yet now, so dinna be £aid. 

Though El — h and Joe hez desarted — 
Foi .] chep they ca' Tun belly's ta'en up the trade. 

An' bizzy he's been sin* he started : 
Aboot town- survey in' he's open'd wor eyes. 

An' put Tommy Gee into a pickle-^ 
He's gi'en to Jack Proctor a birth i' the skies. 

And immortal he's render'd Bob Nichol. 



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Now, if ony refuse to the freemen their dues, 

They're far greater fules than aw thowt them — 
Let R ^y ne mair stand godfather to cows. 

Nor his cousin swear on— till he's bowt them. 
Niver mind what the cheps o* the council may say. 

He'll seun sattle obstropolous Billy — 
Ne mair he'll refuse for a way-leave to pay. 

For fear o* the ditch and Tun belly. 

The good that he's deun scarce a volume wad tell. 

But there's one thing that will be a wonder — 
If Tunbelly losses conceit iv his sel' 

Till his head the green sod be laid under. 
But we a* ha'e wor likens, what for shouldn't Tim ? 

An' aw'm shure he a mense to wor town is — 
So fill up your glasses once mair to the brim. 

An' drink to the Newcastle Junius. 



THE KEEL ROW. 

WEEL may the keel row, the keel row, the keel row, 

Weel may the keel row. 

And better may she speed : 
Weel may the keel row, the keel row, the keel row, 

Weel may the keel row. 

That gets the bairns their breed* 

We tyuk wor keel up to the dyke. 

Up to the dyke, up to the dyke. 
We tyuk wor keel up to the dyke. 

And there we gat her load ; 
Then sail'd away down to Shields, 

Down to Shields, down to Shields, 
Then sail'd away down to Shields, 

And ship'd wor coals abroad. 

Singing Weel may the keel row, &c. 



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Tbap weTQw'd aw^y up to the fest. 

Up tQ the feat, qp to the fest. 
We; rpw'd awiiy up to the fest^ 

Cheerly ^very man ; 
Pat l>y wor geer and moor'd wor keel. 

And mpor'd wor keel, and moord wor keel, 
Pat by wor geer and moor'd wor ketU 

I'hen went and drank wor can. 

Singing Weel may the keel row, &c, 

Ouv canny wives, our clean fireside, 
0«^r bonny bairns, their parents* pvide, 
Sweet smiles thai make life smoothly glide. 

We fiad when we gan hyera.: 
They'U work for us when we get au'd. 
They'll keep us frae the winter's cau'd ; 
As Ufe declines they'll u» uphaud— ^ 

When young we nphaud tl^m. 

Weel may the keel row, &c. 

MY LOAD 'SIZ£; 

OI^ NEWCASTLE IN AN UPROAR. 
BY JjOB^ Sm^^' 

THE jailor, for trial, had brought up a thief; 

Whoae* looks seem'd a passport for Botany Bay ; 

The lawyers, some with and some wanting a brief. 

Around the green table weve seated so gay : 

Grave jurors and witnesses, waiting a call ; 

Attornies and clients, more angry than wise* 

With strangers and town-V.people throne'd the Guild- 

Hall,— . 
All waiting and g:aping> to^ see my Lord 'Sifle» 
Oft stretch'd i«fere their necks, oft ei;ected their ears. 
Still fancying th^y heard of the trumpets the sound ; 
When tidings arri.v'd; which dissoWed them in tears. 
That my lord at the dead-house was then lyingdrown'df 



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a9 

%^H *®^ ^^ ^ ^^ were the jailor and thief; 
The Q9;crqf-8truck crowd to the dead-house quic^ \?,i&k; 
£v'n the lawyers, forgetful of fee and of brief. 
Set of" helter-skelter to view my Lord 'Size. 

And now the Sandhill with the sad tidings rings. 
And the tubs of the taties are left to lake care ; 
Fifih-woinen desert their crabs, lobsters, and lings. 
And each to the dead-house now runs like a hare. 
The glassmen, some naked, some clad, heard the new% 
And off they ran smoaking, like hot mutton pies ; 
Whilst Castle-garth Tailors, like wild Kangaroos, 
Came tail-on-eiid jumping to see my Lord 'Size. 

The ^ad-boMse M^^y reach'd, where his Lordship th«y 

found, 
Pale, slri^tch'd on a planks like therosel vesout of breath; 
I'he Coroner and Jwy were seated around, 
l^fps^ gravely enquiring the cause of his death. 
No hast^ did they seem in, tiieir task to complete, 
AiiYare that l^rom hurry mistakes often riae ; 
6r wishful, perhaps, of prolonging the treat 
Of thus sittij^ in judgment upoa my Lord 'Size. 

Now the Mansion-house Butler thus gravely depos'd:-— 
' My Lord on the terrace seem'd studying his dugrge, 

* And when (as I thought) he had got it conipps'd. 
' He went dpwn the stairs and examin'd the. barge. 

' First the stem he survey d, thei^ inspected the steifi^ 

* Then handled the tiller, and lopk'd mighty wis^^ - 

* But he made a false step when about to r^turn^ 

' And souse in the river straight tumbled Lor4 'Siz^' 

Now his narrative ended — the Butler retired, 
Whiizt^Bet^^ Watt> mutt'riDg (iialf drunk thro' her 

teeth, 
Declar'd, * in her breest greet consarn it inspir'd. 
That my liord should sae cuUishly come by his deeth.* 



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100 

Next a keel man was call'd on. Bold Airchy his name^ 
Who the book as he kiss'd shew'd thewhites of his eyes; 
Then he cut an odd caper, attention to claim. 
And this evidence gave them respecting Lord 'Size. 

' Aw was settin the keel, wi' Dick Stavers and Matt, 

* An' the Man^on-hoose Stairs we were just alangside, 

* When we a* three see'd somethin,but didn't ken what, 

* That was splashing and labbering aboot i' the tide.* 

* It's a fluiker V ki Dick ; ' No,' ki Matt, ' it's owre 

. big, 
' It luik'd mair likea sky at when aw furst see'd it rise:' 

* Kiv aw — for aw'd getten a gliff o* the wig — 

* Ods marcy! wye, marrows, becrike, it's Lord 'Siae!' 

* Sae aw huik'd him an' haul'd him suin into the keel, 
' An' o'top o' the huddock aw rowl'd him aboot : 

' An' his belly aw rubb*d, an' aw skelp*d his back weel; 
'But the waiter he'd drucken it wadn't run oot. 
' Sae aw brought him ashore here, an' doctors, in Tain, 
' First this way, then that, to recover him tries ; 

* For ye see there he's lying as deed^as a stane,— 

' An' that's a' aw can tell ye aboot my Lord 'Size.'* 

Now the Jury for close consultation retir'd : 
Some * Death accidentaV were willing to find ; 
Some * God's visitation^ most eager requir'd. 
And some were for * Fell in the river' inclin'd : 
But ere on their verdict they a|l were agreed. 
My Lord gave a groan, and wide open'd his eyet ; 
Then the coach and the trumpeters came with great 

speed. 
And back to the Mansion-house carried Lord 'Size. 



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Mi 

THE BARBER'S NEWS'; 

OR, SHIELDS IN AN UPROAr! 

By the Same; 

GREAT was the consternation, atnasement, and dis«- 

• may, sir. 
Which, both in North and South Shields^ prevaiPd the* 

other day, sir > 
Quite panic struck the native were, whea told by the 

Barber, 
That a terrible Sea Monster had' got into the harbour. 
•* Have you heard the news, sir ?'* WRht newsi pwy* 

Master Barber ? 
'' Oh a terrible Sea Monster has gt)t intothe Harbourr' 

Now each honest man in Shields-^I mean both North 

and South, sir. 
Delighting in occasions to expand their eyes and mouth, 

sir: 
And fond of seeing marv'lous sights, ne'er staid to get 

his beard off; 
But ran to view theMon8ter,its arrival when he heard of« 
Oh ! who could think of shaving when informed by 

the Barber, 
That a terrible; ^ea MonsteE had gotintd tHe harboun 

Each wife pursuM her husband, and erery child its 

mother, 
I^ds and lasses, belter skelter, acamper'd after on» 

another; 
Shopkeepers and mechanics too, forsook tfaeir daily ln^ 

hours. 
And ran to gape and stare among their gaping staring 
neighbours. 
All crowded to the river side, when told by theBarber> 
That a terrible Sea Monster bad got into the harbour. 
G 



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1«2 

It happens vwy h»^mXlj that Barbar^t n*wf k ficdon, 

sir. 
But the wondroiis naws this morning waa truth, na 

contradiction, air ; 
A iomethini^ sure enough was there, among the billowa 

Hounckig, 
Now sinking in the deep profound, now on the surface 

bouncing. 
True as GazeUe or Gospel were the tidings of the 

Barber, 
That a terrible Sea Monster had got into the harbour* 

Some thought it was a Shark, sir ; a Porpus some con« 

ceiv'd it ; 
Some said it was a Grampus, And some a Whale be-i 

liev'd it ; 
Some swore it was a Sea Horse, then own'd themselvea 

mistaken. 
For, now they'd got a nearer view^-^'twas certainly a 

Kraken. 
Each aported his opinion, fsom the Parson to tha 

Barber, 
Of the t^rribleSeaMonsterthey'd gotten in the harboor. 

'' Behy, belay V a sailor cried, " What that, this thing 

a Kraken 1 
'Tis no more like one, split my jib ! than it is a flitch 

of bacon I 
I've often aeen a hundred such, all sporting in the Nile, 

sir. 
And you may trust a sailor's word, it is a Crocodile, sir.'* 
Each straight to Jack knocka under, from the Parson 

to the Barber, 
And all agreed a Crocodile bad got into the harbour* 

Yet greatly Jack's discovery his auditors did abode, sir, 
For they dreaded that the Salmon would be ^t up by 
tile Croc air: 



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lOS 

When pvHentlj th9 Crocod|le> theif CQ^teimitkii 

crowning, 
Hais'd Its head above the waveSj^ and cried« '' {Idpl 
O Lord, I'm drowning !" 
Heavens i how their hair, $\r, stood on end, (roni 

the Parson to the Barber, 
To find a speaking Crocodile bad got into the barbpur* 

This dreadful exclamation appalFd both young and old, 

sir. 
In the very stoutest hearts, indeed, it made the blood 

run cold, sir ; 
£v'n Jack, the hero of the Nile, it caused to qvake and 

tremble, 
Until an old wife, aighlng, cried, *' Alaa-! 'tis Stephen 

Kemble!" 
Heav'ns ! how they all astonished werej from the 

Parson to' the Barber, 
To find that Stephen Kemble was the Monster in 

the harbour. 

Straight Croeodilish fears gave plaee to manly g^i'foua 

sttife, sir, 
M Oft willingly each lent a band to sava poor Stephen's 

life, sir ; 
They dragged falm gasping to the shofe^ haspatieint for 

his history. 
For how he came is that sad plight, <o then was qnite 

a mystery. 
Tears glisten'd, sir, in every «ye, from the Barson to 

the Barber, 
When, swoln to thrice his natiiial sise^ tfaey dragged 

him from the harbour. 

Now, having wlPd an4 tubbed him well an hour f pon 

the beach, sir. 
Ho got u pon his legs ogftin, and iiadt « ffmouji qpMcl^ 

sir: 

G S 



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104 

QuotK he^ ''An ancient proverb says^ and true- it will! 

be found, airs. 
Those born to prove an airy doom will sureljF ne'ei* be 
drown'd, sirs : 
For Fate, sirs, has us all in tow, from the Monarch 

to the Barber, 
Or surely I had breath'd my last this morning in the 
harbour. 

Resolv'd to cross the river, sirs, a sculler did I get into. 
May Jonah's evil-luck be mine,another when I step into! 
Just when we reach'd the deepest part, O horror! there 

it founders. 
And down went poor Pillgarlick amongst the crabs and 

flounders ! 
But Fate, that keeps us all in tow, from the Monarch 

to the Barber, 
Ordain*d I should not breathe my lissl this morning 

in the Barbour. 

I've broke down many a stage coach, and many a 

chaise and gig, sirs ; 
Once in passing through a trap-hole, I found myself 

too big, sirs; 
I^vebeen circumstanced most oddly, whilst contesting 

a hard race, sirs. 
But ne'er was half so frighten'd, as among the Craba 

and Plaise, sirs. 
O'Fate, nrs) keeps us all in tow^ from the Monarch 

to the Barber, 
Or certainly I'd breath'd my last this morning in 

the harbour. 

Myfriendsr for your exertions, my heart o'erflowa 

with gratitude, 
O may it prove the last time you find me in that la« 

titude 



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1D5 

Crod knawt with what mischances dire tthe future maj 

abound^ sirs^ 
^ut I hope and trust I'm one of those not fated to be 
drowned, airs." 
Thus ended his oration, sir, I had it from the Barbery 
And drippling, iike some River God, he slowly left 
the harbour. 
Ye mien of North and South Shields too« God tend you 

ail prosperity ! 
May your commerce ever flourish^ your stately ships 

still crowd the sea : 
Unrivail'd in the <^oal Trade^ till doomsday may you 

stand, sirs. 
And, every hour, fresh wonders your eyes and mouth 
expand, sirs. 
. And long may Stephen Kemble live, and never may 
the Barber 
Mistake him for a monster more^ deep floundering 
in the harbour. 

O NO, MY LOVE, NO. 

By the Same. 

WHILST the dread voice of war thro' the welkin re- 
bellows. 

And aspects undaunted our Volunteers show. 
Do you think, O my Delia ! -to join the brave fellows, 

My heart beats impatient ? O no, my love, no. 

At the dawn of the day, their warm beds still forsaking. 
To scamper thro* bags, or where prickly fvAf'n^grow^ 

When I view them of pastimes so martial partaking. 
Do I sicken with envy ? O no, my love, no. 

Array'd in full splendour, their arms brightly shining. 
On guard or on picqueU when proudly they go, 

(For the pleasures ijS permanent duty repining) 
Do I sigh to go with them ? O no, my love, no. 
G 3 



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106 

0* Atrtk tott thit, e^et to quell nide dis^rJer, 

What time our brave heroes ihall face the dread foe,. 
IVe d«tetiDk)'d to fcetvfe uttder Mr. Recorder, 

In the tip-staff battalion } O no, my love, no. 
What means, my lov'd Delia I that frown now ap- 
pearing ? 

Why, why docs your brow such severity show ? 
An4 wherefore those glances, so cold and unclieering ? 

Do you think me a poUroon ? O no, my love, no. 
though I wear not a red coat, my honour*s untainted — 

To Coventry ne'er was I fated to go ; 
But, whilst with the plan of removal acquainted. 

Can I, cruel, desert thee ? O no, my love, no. 
Soon war from thy home may a fugitive send thee. 

Soon give thee of keels and Aeir haddocks to kliow ;. 
In the voyage to Newbum who'll succour snd tend thee? 

Shall the task be another's ? O no, my love, no. 
Then wear not, my Delia ! an aspect to chilling. 

Nor doubt not with ardour heroic I glow ; 
But love's dear delights shall I barter for drilling f 

That smile methinks answers,—' O no, my lov«, now' 



THE BONASSUS. 
Tunt— *« Jtmmf Joyi«io&*ii Wharry.** 

LET Wembwell, James, an' a' die pack 

Iv yelpin' curs, beef-eatel9, 
Ne mair about Bonasses entk, 

.Them queer, idutlandish efetuin. 
Be dumb, ye ledng, yammering hounds. 

Nor wi' yor clavers fa«h n^ 
For seun aw '11 prove wor cinny town 

Can I^Mst its awta BonkMus. 



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It chanc'd when honett Bell w» Mayor, 

An' gat each poor man't bleeaii— 
When cheps lik« G— e, an' Tommy C-^r 

Gat monny a gf atis ksson ; 
Then Bell refus'd to stand agyen, 

Tir'd iv the situation. 
An' ne awd wife wad tyek the chain 

Iv a' wor Corporation. 

The folk iv Shieldahea lang bcgnidc'cl 

The Custom-house beside us ; 
This was the time, they rectly judged. 

To come sae fine langside us : 
They had a chep, W ^t was his nyem. 

To poor folk rather scurvy. 
They sent him up wor heeds to kyem. 

An* turn us topsy turvy. 

He aeun began to show his horns. 

An' treat the poor like vassals- 
He sent the apple-wives to mourn 

A month iv wor awd Cassel. 
The tmher marchants will ne mare 

Wiv ten-a-peiiny deave us— 
Hiey iwear iv W ^t's to be wor Mayor, 

That i' the dark they'll leave us* 

The drapers next he gov a gieece, 

'Boat their unruly samples—- 
Bound ower the clouts to keep the peace, 

Wiv strings to the door stanchelli. 
The ttttee-market iv a tift— 

Xye heuxters a' resent it 1 
My saities ! but that was a shift,) 

To the Parade Ground sen^ it 

Ye gowka, in' Sbieldt yeVe <ttj||Upt up, 
WhMi ye iMidlittk 'iHMon, 



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To see wor snobi their capers cut. 

Or Geordj's Coronation ; 
Now altogether come yence mair, 

Wor blissins shall attend ye. 
If je'Jl but .rid us i' wor Mayor, 

Iv hackneys back we^ll send ye. 

SHIELDS CHAIN BRIDGE, 

HomcarotMly described by « Pitman. 

NOW, Geordy, my lad, sit as mute as a tyed. 
An' aw'll tell ye 'bout Chain Brig at's gaun to be myed; 
Aw'll begin at the furst, an' gan on till aw cum 
To the end o' my story — an' then aw '11 be deun. 
Some folks tell a plain, simple story at times.S 
But aw'm nothing like them, aw tell a' things iv rhymes. 
Smash, Geordy, sit quiet — keep in thaw greet toes. 
An' aw'U gan as straight forrat as waggoners goes. 

Wey, ye see, the folks thought, i' gaun .ower the water, 
'Stead (O' crossing wi' boats, 'at ji Brig wad be better; 
^ .the gentlemen ^ther'd a greet congregation. 
The syem as folks de at the heed o' the nation : 
Then they iome things .bjought forrat, an' some they 

put baclg 
So they sattled a Brig sud be built iv a crack. 
'Twasn't lang eftet this, aw gat had iv a paper, 
Tell'd the sise it should be, just as nice as a taper. 

How ! says aw to mysell, but they Jievent been lang, 
Dash ! a fellow like me may stite myek up a sang^ 
Or some such like thing — just to myek a bit fun : 
So it's ne seuner'said than it's cleverly deun. 
Folks thought me a genius when first aw was bom.'i'— 
But what is aw deein ?— aw mun tell ye the form 
O* this said Iron Brig 'at aw's talking aboot. 
When aw pull up me breeches, an' Uaw out me snout. 



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109 

JIuge abutments o' 8tyen,.aw think they are call'd — 
When aw com to that word aw was varry near 'pal I'd ; 
On each side o' the liver yen o' thor things is myed. 
To fit intiv a hole they howk out wiv a spyed. 
Fra the tops o* thor pillars .to the edge o' the banks. 
Very Strang iron chains, myed o' wrought iron links« 
Hingin' ow.er the bouse-tops o' byeth sides o* the river, 
Thor chains is continued fra pillar to pillar. 

Fra the big'uns is hung some inferior in length. 
To the boddom of which a foundation of strength 
Is fixt, wrought wi* iron, an' cover'd wi' sty en. 
Then surmounted wi' railing — it's deun, skin and byen. 
Now, Geordy, what de ye think of it, my lad ?— 
M'ey, speak — what's the maiter— or ye tyen varry bad ? 
Or extonishment is it that's sew'd up yor mouth ? 
But aw divent much wonder, so aw'll tell the real truth. 

Aw wonder wor owners disn't see into it. 
An' myek a Chain Brig for to gan doon wor pit. 
A ! man, but it's clivers— it's use 'iil be greet ; 
For to what lad o' Shields wad the thowt not be sweet. 
To cross ower the water without danger or fear. 
As awVe monny a time deun 'i gan awer the Wenr. 
When we cross pwer the water i' boats we're in danger. 
But the hazard is warse tiv a -man 'at's a stranger. 

While this hang'd ugly sailing o' packets survives^ 
We're in very greet danger o' lossin wor lives. 
But it's ne use to tell th^ unnumbered disasters 
Which happen to 'prentices, workmen, and masters. 
On crossing the Tyne i' them sma' sculler boats^ 
Or ony thing else on the water that fioats. 
At ony rate, the Chain Brig is a far safer plan. 
And would save monny lives— contradict it whe can ! 

Besides, ye knaw, Geordy, It's easier and better 

For the canny folks 'at leves on the banks o' the water. 



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110 

To Walk atnight afore them 'stead o' gaun doon the 

street. 
And when they Ve iv a hurry running doon a* they 

meet ; 
Forbye being kept myest an hour in suspense^ 
By cairts^ that soroetinnes myek a plague of a fence. 
Then the folks are a' stopt, suppose they be iv a hurry. 
Now, ye blithe lads o' Shields, let it be a' your glory» 
To get this Chain Brig rcar'd on high in the air. 
Then we'll de'er ha'e to soom amang steam boats na 

mair : 
Smash their greet clumsy wheels! aw like nyen o' their 

wark. 
They once cowpt me owerboard, an' aw was wet to the 

sark; 
But catch me gaun onny mair near them again-— 
If aw de« say aw divent belang CoUingwood Main !. 

THE COLLIERS' PAY WEEK. 
Byll&nry Robtoa.* 

THE Baff week is o'er— no repining— 

Pay-Saturday's swift on the wing ; 
At length the blithe morning comes shining, 

When kelter makes colliers sing. 
'Tis Spring and the weather is cheary. 

The birds whistle sweet on the spray ; 
Now coal working lads, trim and airy. 

To Newcassel town hie away. 

* Kenry Hobson, the author of this and the two following 
piecei, it a native of Den well, tieiar Newcastle. In the place cf 
hit birth he enjoved frequent opportunities, during hii early 
yean, of witnetsiiig the aaaneri, castoat, and liagvaft of the 
Ollicn, which he so well describes ia the «• Pay Week.*'— 
Besides these, he has written several other pieces of Poetrv, 
humorous, sattrical, tmd descripthrt, posiessiaf a considcrahle 
decree of merit. Ha was broiifht up to the priatinf hiNiaess 
ia Kewcistle, where he harresided many years. 



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Ill 

Those diAirried jog on with their hinnief. 

Their cannj bairnt go by their side ; 
The daughters keep teaeing their minnies 

For new deaths to keep up their pride : 
lliey l^lead-— Easter Sunday does fear them. 

For then^ if they've nothing that's new. 
The Crow, spiteful bird ! will besmear them ; 

Oh then ! what a sight for fo view I 

The young men, full blithesome and jolly, 

March forward, all decently clad ; 
Some lilting up,. «* Cut-and-dry, Dolly," 

Some singing, " The bonny Pit Lad :" 
The pranks that were.play'd at last binding 

Engage some in humourous chat ; 
Some halt by the way-side on finding 

Primroses to place in their hat. , 

fiob Cranky, Jack Hogg, and Dick Marley, 

Bill Hewitt, Luke Carr, and Tom Brown, 
In one jolly squad Set off early 

From Ben well to Newcassel town : 
Such hewers at they (none need doubt it) 

Ne'er handled a shovel or pick ; > 
In high or low seam they could suit it. 

In regions next door to Old Nick. 

Some irent to buy hats and new jadcets. 

And others to see a bit fun ; 
And some wanted leather and tacketft 

To cobble their canny pit shoon : 
Save the ribbon Dick's dear had reqnested, 

(Aware he had pientp^ of chink) 
Thtrt was no other tare him infested. 

Unless 'twere his care for good drink. 

[[In the morning the dry man advances 
To purUsbop to toM ^ a jill. 



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- 112 

Ne'er dreading the ills and niisckancea 
Attending on those who sit still : 

The drink. Reason's monitor quelling, 
inflames both the brain and the eyes ; 

The enchantment comroenc'd, there's no teUifig 
When care-drowning tipplers will rise. 

O Malt ! we acknowledge thy powers. 

What good and what ill dost thou brewi 
Our good friend in moderate hours—* 

Our enemy when we get fu' : 
Could thy vot'ries avoid the fell furies 

So often awaken'd by thee. 
We should seldom need Judges or Juries 

To send iolk to Tyburn tree I^ 

At length in Newcastle they centre — 

In Hardy's/ a house much renown'd. 
The jovial company enter, 

Where stores of good liquor abounds 
As quick as the servants could fill it, 

(Till emptied were quarts half a score) 
With heart-burning thirst down they swill it, 

And thump on the table for more. 

While thus in fine cue they are seated, 

Young cock-fighting Ned from the Fellt 
Peep'd in— his •« How d'ye?" repeated. 

And hop'd they were all very well; 
He swore he was pleased to see them— - 

One rose up to make him sit down. 
And join in good fellowship wi' them. 

For him they would apend their last crown. 



« Sign of the BUck Boy, Groat MarksL 
t GAtcthead Fell. 



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118 

The liquor beginninj^ to warm them, 

Ii^friendBhip the closer they knit, 
And tell and hear jokes — and, to charm them. 

Comes Robin, from Den ton- Bourn pit ; 
An odd witty, comical fellow. 

At either a jest or a tale^ 
Especially when he was mellow 

With drinking stout Newcassel ale. 

With bousing, and laughing, and smoking. 

The time slippeth swiftly away ; 
And while they are ranting and joking. 

The charch>clock proclaims it mid-day. 
And now for black- puddings, long measure. 

They go to Tib Trollibag's stand. 
And away bear the glossy rich treasure, 

With joy, like curl'd bogles in hand. 

And now a choice house they agreed on. 

Not far from the head of the Quay ; 
Where they their black puddings might feed on. 

And spend the remains of the day ; 
Where pipers and fiddlers resorted, 

Tp pick up the straggling pence, 
' And where the pit la<h olten sported 

There money at fiddle and dance. 

Blind Willie* the fidler sat scraping. 

In comer jvst as they went in : 
Some Willington callants were shaking 

Their feet to his musical din : 
Jack vow'd he would have some fine eapYing, 

At soon at their dinner was o'er. 
With the lassie that wore the white apron, 

Now reeling about on the floor. 



^ William Purvif, ft blind fiddler to called. 



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114 

Their hungry itomaehs being eait 9« 

And gullets well dear'd with a gl«Sf» 
Jack rose from the table and seiaed 

The hand of the frolicsome last, 
•• Maw hinny !** says he, " pray exeufft 

To ask thee to dance aw make free:'* 
She reply 'd, <' I'd be loth to refuse thee 1 

Now fiddler play — '* Jiggiog for »e/' 

The damsel displays all her gracee. 

The collier exerts all his power, 
'Fhey caper in circling paces. 

And set at each end of the floor : 
He jumps, and his heels knack and rattle* 

At turns of the music so sweet. 
He makes such a thundering brattle. 

The floor seems afraid of his feet. 

This couple being seat^ rose Boh op. 

He wish'd to make one in a jig; 
But a Willington lad set his gob up»i-r- 

O'er him there should none ''roirthe tigJ 
For now 'twas his turn for a caper. 

And he would dance first as he'd voie; 
Bob's passion bef^naing to y4pottr» 

He twisted bis opponent's noee. 

The WiUingtan hdi, for their Pranky, 

Jump'd up to revenge the foul deed ; 
And thoee in behalf of Bob Craiiky 

Sprung forward«p-4br bow there was need. 
Bob canud the form* with a kevel. 

As he was exerting bia strength ; 
But he gpt on the Uig such a foaiwA, 

That down Jm €9m% all bia long kngtfa. 

Tom Brown, from behind the ki^ taUe, 
Impatient to jm i« the figh^ 



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»> 



116 

Made a spring, -some rude foe to disable. 

For be was a man of some might : 
Misfortune, alas ! was attending, "" 

An accident fiU'd him with fear ; 
An old rusty nail his flesh rending, 

Oblig'd him to slink in the rear. 

When sober, a mild man was Marley, 

More apt to join friends than make foes ; 
But rais'd by the juice of the barley. 

He put in some gobbling blows* 
And cock*iighting Ned was their Hector, 

A courageous fellow, and stout ; 
He stood their bold friend and protector. 

And thump'd the opponents about. 

All hand-over-head, topsy turvy, ^ 

They struck with fists, elbows, and feet ; 
A Willington callan];, called Gurvy, 

Was top-tails tost over the seat: 
Lake Carr had one eye cloa'd entire^ 

And what is a serio- farce. 
Poor Robin was cast on the fire. 

His breeks torn and burnt off his a — e. 

Oh, Robin ! what argued thy speeches ? 

Disaster now makes thee quite mum ; 
Thy wit could not save the good breeches 

That mencefuUy covered thy bum : 
To some slop-shop now thou may go trndgingy 

And lug out some squandering coins ; 
For now 'tis too late to be grudging,— 

Thou cannot go home with bare groins. 

How the warfaring companies parted. 
The Muse cbuseth not to proclaim ; 

But, 'tis thought, that, being mther down-hearted. 
They quietly wcnt-^" toddling hame«" 



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116, 

Now ye Collier callanU, so clever. 
Residing 'tween Tyne and the V\'ear, 

Beware, when you fuddle tog^ether, 
Of making too freer with strong beer. 



THE TYNE. 

By the Same. — Written in' 1 SOT. 

IN Britain's blest island there runs a fine river. 
Far fa'n'd for the ore it conveys from the mine: 

Northumbrians pride, and that district doth sever 
From Durham's rising faills^ and 'tis called — ^the Tyne 

Flow on, lovely Tyne, undisturb*d be thy motion. 
Thy. sons hold the threats of proud France in disdain ; 

As long as thy watens shall mix with the ocean. 
The fleets of Old England will govern the main. 

Other rivers for fame have by Poets lieen noted 

In many a soft-sounding musical line ; 
But for sailors ami coals never one was yet quoted. 

Could vie with the choicest of rivers — the Tyne. 
Flow on, lovely Tyne, &c. 

When Collingwood conquer'd our foes so completely^ 
And gain'd a fine laurel, his brow to entwine ; 

In order to manage, the matter quite neatly, 

Mann'd his vessel with tars from the banks of the 
Tyne. Flow on, lovely Tyne, Ac 

Thou dearest of rivers, oft times have I wander'd 
Thy marjj^in along when oppressed with grief. 

And thought of thy stream, as it onward meander'd ; 
The murmuring melody gave roe relief 
Flow on, lovely Tyne, &c. . 



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HT 

From the fragrant wfld flowers which blow on thy 
border. 
The playful Zephyrus oft steals an embrace. 
And curling thy surface^ in beauteous order. 
The willows bend forward to kiss thy dear face. 
Flow on, lovely Tyne, &c. 

One favour I crave — O kind Fortune befriend mel 
When downhill I totter, in Nature's decline— , 

A competent income — if this thou wilt send me, 
I'll dwindle out life on the banks of the Tyne. 
Flow on, lovely Tyne, ficc. 

THE SPRING. 

By the Same.— ^Vritten early in May, 1809. 

NOW the gay feather'd train, in each bush. 
Court their mates, and love's melody sing-- 

The blackbird, the linnet, and thrush^ 
Make the echoing Tallies to ring. 

The bird with the crimson-dy'd breast. 
From the hamlet has made his remove ; 

To join his love-song with the rest. 
And woo his fond mate in the grove. 

The lark, high in sether afloat. 

Each morn, as he ushers tbe day. 
Attunes his wild- warbling throat, 

And sings his melodious lay. 

Yon bank lately cover'd with snow. 

Now smiles in the spring's bloomy pride.; 

And the sweet-scented primroses grow 
Near the streamlet's sweet gurgling tide. 

To the banks of the Tyne we'll away. 

And view th' enrapturing scene ; 
While Flora, the goddess of May, 

With her flow'rets bespangles the green. 



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118 

PARSON MALTHUS. 

Sy the Same. 
Tutit— ** Ranting roaring Willie." 

GOOD people, if you'll pay attention, 

ril tell you 9 comical jest; 
The theme I'm about now to nrention 

Alludes to one MaLthus, a priests-^ 
A proud, hypocritical preacher. 

Who feeds on tithe-pigs and good wine ; 
But him I shall prove a false teacher — 

Oh, all things have but a time. 

Some time ago, through all the nation 

He publish'd a scandalous book-^ 
An Essay about *• Populafionr 

But Mp^idely his text he mistook. 
From marriage his plan's to restrain all 

Poor people who are in their prime. 
Lest the Earth prove too small to contain all-— 

Such notions can last but a time. 

But the Clergy whoVe plac'd in snug station. 
The nobles, and such like fine folks, 

May continue their multiplication — 
' What think you, my friends, of such jokes ? 

What think you of Mai thus the Parson, 
Who slights each injunction divine. 

And laughs while he carries the farce on ;— 
But all things have but a time. 

When the poor folk of hunger are dying. 

He deems it no sin in the great. 
To with-hold all their hands from supplying 

The wretched with victuals to eat I 



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119 

Such doctrine — sure a gireat evit— 
Becomes not a Christian Divine ; 

'Tie more h'ke the speech of the Devil ; — 
But all things have but a time. 

Now, my friends^ you will readily see 

Mai thus' argument's not worth a curse ; 
For to starve the industrious bee^ 

Is no better than — killing the goose* 
That he does not believe in the Bible« 

His book is a very true sign ; 
On Sacred Writ 'tis a libel,— 

Such trash can last but for a time« 
Place the drones on one part of oar isle. 

The industrious class on the other ; 
There the former may simper and smile. 

And bow and scrape each to his brother: 
They can neither plough^ throw the shuttle^ 

Nor build with stone and lime ; 
They'll then get but little to guttle^ 

And may grow wiser in time. 

Ye blithe British lads and ye lasses. 

Ne'er heed this daft, whimsical Priest ; 
Get sweathearts in spite of such asses*—- 

The Bible Plan sure is the best : 
Then away go in couples together. 

And marry while you're in your prime. 
And strive to agree with each other. 

For life only lasts a short time ! 

PETER WAGGY. 

By the Same.— Written February, J|ta6. 

I, VVHEN a child, for trinket ware 
Would often cry to mam and daddie : 

With other trifles, from the fair, 
Dad brought me once a Peter Waggy. 
G 2 



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Fine dolls, and many things forby, 

A gilded coach and little naggie ; 
But oh» the darling of my eye, 

Was little Uancixig Peter Waggy ! 

Love of such trifles time destroys — 

At length each well-grown lass and laddie 
Seeks to be pleas'd with other toys, 
. Some other sort of Peter Waggy. 

A lover came to me at last, 

In courting me he ne'er grew feggy ; 

Now he and I are buckled fast — 
He is my darling Peter Waggy. 

We've got a boy of beauty rare, 

A credit to his mam and daddie ; 
When I go to Newcastle fair, 

rU buy my child a Peter Waggy. 

BESSY OF BLYTH. 

"k VIRTUOUS WOMAN IS MORE PRECIOUS THAN RUBIES." 



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By the Same.-— Wiitteu February, I826. 

IN Cramlington we've bonnie lasses enow« 
With cheeks red as roses, and eyes black or blue ; 
But Bessy of Blyth I love better than onie — 
My heart is still there with my own dear honey. 

My uncle says, '* Bobin, why sure you are mad. 
To slight Suky Swan— she's worth money, my lad !" 
•• Dear uncle," says I, *' I'll ne'er marry for money, 
" And none i|ii I have but my awn dear honey." 

Her face I co^are to the blush of the mom. 
Her breath to the scent of the fresh blossom'd thorn ; 
For virtue and sense she's not equall'd by monie-^ 
Few, few can compare with my own dear honey. 



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As in this world of care tbere is nought we af^prove, 
Compar'd to the faithful good wife that we love ; 
To sweeten life's sorrow, the gall mix with honey, 
ril wed my dear Bess, and a fig for their money. 

SONG.—TO ANNA. 
By the Same. 

DEAR ANNA, though thy parents move thee 
To withdraw thy smiles from me, 

I can never cease to love thee. 
Though no more thy face I see. 

The sense of thy parental duty 

Urgeth thee from me to part ; 
Conqoer'd by thy peerless beauty. 

Soon, ah ! soon I'll break my heart ! 

As through this World of woe I wander. 
Crossed in love, and worn with care ; 

Oft I'll think on lovely Anna, 
Who's the " fairest of the fair." 

KELVIN GROVE. 

THE lassie's ANS1?£E. 
By die Same. 

TO the Kdvin Grov« wfell go, bonme laddie, O, 
Where the sweetest ftew^ts grow, bonnie laddie, O; 

With my true love by my side. 

Of a' the flowers the pride, 
rd wander the warld wide^ bonnie laddie, O. 

When the throstle hails the morn, bonnie laddie, O, 
We'll wander by the bum, bonnie laddie, O ; 
And well rest in the alcove. 
In bontiie Kelvih Grove, 
Where first I told raiy love to my laddie, O. 
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When thou leav'st thy native home, bonnie laddie, O, 
With thee I mean to roam, bonnie laddie, O ; 

ril watch thee in the fight. 

And guard thee day and night, 
That no mishap alight — on my laddie, O. 

In the fatal battle-field, bonnie laddie, O, 
Shouldfit thou thy spirit yield, bonnie laddie, O — 

When thy een are clos'd in death, 

I'll sigh my latest breath. 
And one grave shall hold us baith, bonnie laddie, O. 

But kind should Fortune prove, bonnie laddie, O, 
And spare ui baith to love, bonnie laddie, O : 

By the stream again we'll rove, 

tn bonnie Kelvin Grove, 
And fra hame nae roair remove, dearest laddie, O. 

TO MR. PETER WATSON,* 

WHO LAYS POWERFUL BATS ON. 
By the Same^ — Written in 1624. 
O Watson ! O Watson 1 what are you about ? 
What have you been doing to cause such a rout ? 
'Tis said you've been giving the Clergy a clout ; 
Which nobody does deny. 

• Peter Watson, of Chester-lc- Street, Shoemaker. — This per- 
son for some time l&udably exerted himself to oppose the claims 
of the GoYernment Clergy to what are called Easter dues or 
offerings; and by a powerful appeal to the public, succeeded in 
convincing many that such claims were equally oppressive and 
unjust, and founded neijther in the law nor the gospel — The late 
worthy Vicar of Newcastle, Mr John Smith, actuated with the 
generous feelings of a Man and a Christian, and with due defer- 
ence to public opinion, restrained the Clergy in his jurisdiction 
from collecting these Exactions during the latter years of hit 
life. To him, therefore, and to Peter Watson, in particular, 
who aroused the public attention to the subject, the inhabitants 
of Newcastle are indebted for being relieved from this odious, 
unjust, and oppressive Clerical Tax. 



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ists 

O stopi Watson, stop ! O whither ?— say whither ' 
Directs thy bold genius ? — 'twould seem you choose 

rather 
To hammer the Parsons, instead of bend leather ; 
At starting you were not shy. 

What tho* the good Clergy for long time have got, 
At Easter, fat pullets to put in their pot. 
And ta'en from the people full many a groat ; 

Yet why into this should you pry? 

Of matters relating to Charch or to State, 

'Tis surely not fit you should trouble your pate ; 

Yet still you keep thumping, with spirit elate. 

As if you would maul the whole fry. 

I'd have you respect more the Lord's own Anointed^ 
Who over your conscience to rule are appointed. 
And to whom pigs and pullets are sent to be jointed. 
And other good things forby. 

Repent, then, and quick pay your Easter Dues, 
And to guileless Parsons give no more abuse. 
Or spiritual comfort to you they'll refuse. 

And this may cause you f o sigh 1 

For things are so chang'^d since you rang them a peal. 
That the Clerk seems afraid thro' our parish to speel ; 
For he's look'd on no better than one come to steal ; 
Which nobody can deny. 

The Clerk of St. John's, that he might have good luck, 
Employ'd a brave Noodle, whose nick-name is Pluck, 
To cdlect Easter-pence; but the people had struck-— 
Few, few were brought to comply. 

Now the Parsons to you attach all the blame, 
O Watson, for saying they had no just claim.; 
Thus you've brought on yourself thieir /<o^ disdain ; 
Yet you'll fill a niche in ^he Temple of Fame, 
Which nobody will deny. 



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THE FISH.WIVES* COMPLAINT, 

On^ their Removal from the Sandhill to the New Fiik Market, 
on the 2nd. of January, 1826. 

BY R. £MBRT. 
Time—'* Sleeping Maggie." 

THE merry day hes gettin past. 

And we are aw myest broken hearted ; 

Ye've surely deun far us at last— 
Era Sandhill, noo, ye hev us parted. 

Oh ! hinniesh. Corporation ! 
A ! marcy ! Corporation ! 

Ye hev deun a shemful deed. 
To force us fi*a' Wor canny station. 

It's nee use bein* in a rage. 

For aw wor pride noo fairly sunk is— 

Ye've cram'd us in a Dandy Cage, 
Like yelloW-yowlies, bears, and monkies* 
Oh! hinnies, kd 

The cau'd East wind blaws i* wor teeth-— 
With iron bars we are surrounded ; 

It's bettelr, far, to suffer deeth, 

Than thus to he^ wor feelings wounded. 
Oh\ hinbies, &c. 

Wcm: haddocks, turbot, cod, and ling. 

Are lost tiv a' wor friends' inspedtion ; 
Genteelish folk frev us tyek wing. 

For fear of catching some inflection. 

Oh ! hinnies, &c 
O, kind Sir Matt.*— )re bonny Star, 

Gan to the King, an' show this ditty^- 
Tdl him what canny folks we are. 

And make him free us fra this Kitty. ^ 

Oh ! hinnies^ &c. 



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If ye succeed, agyen we'll sirtg — 
■ Sweet Madge, wor Queen, will ever bless ye ; 
And poor au'd Jemmy tee, wor King, 
With a' us fish- wives will caress ye. 

Oh! hinnics, &c. 

THE NEW FISH MARKET. 

BY WM. MIDFORD. 
Tune — * Scots, come o'er the Border." 

MARCH 1 march to the Dandy Fish Market ! 

See what our Corporation's done for you. 
By pillaTs and paling so nobly surrounded. 

And your «toiie tables all standing before you. 

Where's there a riv6r so fani*d in the nation ? 
Where's the bold tars that so well grace their station ? 
Coals, fish, and grindstones — we'll through the world 

bark it— 
And now we ha'e gotten a bonny Fish Market. 

March I march, &c. 

Oh 1 did the fish ken they'd be cage'd like a birdie, 
(Euphy, the Queen, singing " Maw canny Geordie,") 
They'd pop out their heads then, should ye only watch 

them. 
And call on the fishermen sharply to catch them. 
March ! march, &c. 

Yet all isn't right, tho' — in time you may hear it ; 
One week is past^ and but one cart's come near it : 
The loons above stairs preconcerted the order. 
And Binder poor bodies to hawk round the border. 
March I march, &c. 

Gan to the coast — where the fisherman's weeding — 
Gan to the fells — ^where the cuddies are feeding — 
Gan to hell's kitchen — should ye have occasion-^ 
Ye'U see bizsies drinking through spite and vexation, 

March ! march, &c. 



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126 

Where's Madgie*8 troops that so welleouldshout oysters? 
Gone to a convent or nunnery cloisters ! 
Where's the wee shop that once held Jack the Barber ? 
^ Crone to make room for the fish brought to harbour ! 

March ! march^ &c. 

Then hie to the Custom F louse, add to your pleasures. 
Now you're well cover'd, so toom tpe new measures : 
It ne'er will be finished. Til wager a groat. 
Till they've cut a canal to admit five-men boats i 

March ! march, &c. 

A NEW YEAR'S CAROL, 
For the Fish-Wives of Newcastle. 

BY METCALF ROSS. 
Tune — ^«* Chevy Chase." 

COD prosper long our noble king. 

Our lives and safeties all ! 
A woeful ditty we may sing 

On ev'ry fish-wife's stail. 

Good Magistrates, it were a sin 

That we should rail at you ; 
Altho' the plaice you've put «s in. 

Is grating to our view. 

if cra6-bed looks we should put on. 

Or Jlounder in a pet. 
Each fish- wife's tub would, very soon. 

Be in the kU-ty set 

Sure we are not such simple Mfe^, 

Though in your legal net^ 
But we will haul you &er the coaU, 

And play hot cockles yet. 



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127 

The iron ring in which we're shut. 
To make the gudgeons stare^ 

Will not, says ev'ry scolding slut. 
With her^rlng e'er compare. 

Then ev'ry night, that duly falls. 

Fresh water may be seen 
All floating round our seats and stalls. 

As if we had-ducks been. 

But thus sheU'd in, as now we are. 
Within our corporate bounds, 

Altho' we may not curse and swear. 
We still may cry. Cod-sounds ! 

Let gentle people carp their fill. 
At us, our sprees and pranks ; 

For tho* we're now turned off the HiU, 
Themselves may lose their Banks, 



JESMOND MILL; 

BY PHIL. HODGSON. 

TO sinjDr of some nymph in her cot. 
Each bard will oft flourish his quill : 

I'm glad it has fall'n to my lot. 
To celebrate Jesmond Mill. 

When Spring hither winds her career. 
Our trees And our hedges to fill. 

Vast oceans of verdure appear. 
To charm you at Jesmond Mill. 

To plant every rural delight. 

Mere Nature has lavish'd her skill ; 

Here fragrant soft breezes unite. 
To wanton round Jesmond Mill. 



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128 

When sflence each evening here dwelb. 
The birds in their coverts all still ; 

No music in sweetness excels 
The clacking of Jesmond Mill. 

Reclin'd by the verge of the stream, 
Or stretch'd on the side of the hilly 

Vm never in want of a theme, 
While learning at Jesmond Mill. 

Sure Venus some plot has design'd^ 
Of why is my heart never still. 

Whenever it pops in my mind, 
fo wander near Jesmond Mill. 

My object, ye swains, you will guess. 

If ever in love you had skill ; 
And now, I will frankly confess, 

'Tisi*-Jenny of Jesmond Mill. 

TOMMY THOMPSON. 

Author of * Canny Newcassel,* ' Jemmy Joneson'g Whuriy,*&c. 
BY ROBERT &ILCHRI8T. 

ALL ye whom minstrel's strains inspire. 

Soft as the sighs of morning — 
All ye \^ho sweep the rustic lyre. 

Your native hills adorning — 
Where genius bids her rays descend 

O'er bosoms bleak and lonesome^— 
Let every hand and heart respond 

The name of Tommy Thompson. 

CHORUS. 

His spirit now is soaring bright. 
And lifeaves us dark and dolesome ; 

O luckless was the fatal night 
That last us Tommy Thompson. 



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The lyrie harp was all bis own. 

Each mystic art combining — 
Which Envy, with unbending frown, 

Might hear with unrepining. 
The sweetest 6Qwer in summer blown 

Was not more blithe and joysorae^ 
Than was the matchless, merry tone. 

Which died with Tommy Thompson. 

His spirit, &c. 

FAREWELL TO THE TYNE. 

BY THE SAME. 

Farewell, lovely Tyne, in thy soft murmurs flowing. 
Adieu to the shades of thy mouldering towers ! 

And sweet be the flowers on thy wild margin growiiig. 
And sweet be the nymphs who inhabit thy bowers ! 

And there shall be ties which no distance can sever. 
Thou land of our fathers, the dauntless and free ; 

Tho' the charms of each change smile around me, yet 
never 
Shall the sigh be inconstant that's hallow'd to thee. 

Thy full orb of glory will blaze o'er eaoh contest— 

Thy sons, e'er renown 'd, be the dread of each foe-— 
Till thy tars chiU with fear in the fight or the tempest. 

And the pure streams of Heddon have ceased more 
to flow. 
May commerce be thine— and fromTynemouth to Stella 

May thy dark dingy waters auspiciously roll — 
And thy lads in the keels long be jovial and mellow^ 

With faces as black as the keel or the coal. 

O Albion ! of worlds thou shalt e'er be the wonder. 
Thy tough wooden walls, thy protection and pride. 

So long as the bolts of thy cloud-rending thunder 
Are hurl'd by the lads on the banks of Tyneside. 



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130 

NORTHUMBERLAND FREE O* NEWCASSEL. 

COMPOSED EXTEMPQHEj 

On the Duke of Northumberland being presented with the 
Freedom of Nev^cascle. 

BY THE SAME. 

TO that far ken'd and wondrous place, Newcassel town. 

Where each thinjj yen lucks at surprises, 
Wiv a head full o' fancies, an' heart full o' fun, 

Aw'd com'd in to see my Lord 'Sizes. 
In byeth town an* country aw glowrin* beheld 

Carousin' laird, tenant, an' vassal ; 
On axin' the cause o' sic joy, aw was tell'd, ^ 

'Twas Northumberland free o' Newcassel. 

The guns frae the Cassel sent monny a pealr^ 

My hair stood an' end a' confounded— 
The folks on Tyne Brig set up monny a squeel, . 

And the banks o' Tyneside a' resounded. 
In the Mute Hall, Judge Hayley roar'd out, ^* My poor 
head ! — 

Gan an* tell them not to myek sic a rattle." 
Judge Wood cried out, " No — let them fire us half dead. 

Since Northumberland's free o' Newcassel !" 

The Duke e'er has been byeth wor glory an* pride. 

For dousely he fills up his station ; 
May he lang live to hearten the lads o* Tyneside, 

The glory an' pride o* their nation. 
Brave Prudhoe* triumphant shall plough the wide main. 

The hash o' the Yankees he'll sattle ; 
An' ages hereefter but sarve to proclaim 

Northumberland free o' Newcassel. 

^ Baron Prudhoe, of the Royal Navy^ 



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May it please Heav'h to grant tliat the sweet *Flower 
o' Wales,* 

Wi* Northnraberland's roses entwinin'. 
May its fragrance shed forth i' celestial gales. 

In glory unceasin'ly shinin/ 
In defence o' wor country, wor laws, an* wor King, 

May a Peerey still lead us to battle ; 
An' monny a brisk lad o' the nyem may there spring 

Fra Northumberland, free o' NewcasseL 

THE DUCHESS AND MAYORESS. 
Written in September, 1819. 

YE Northumberland lads and ye lasses. 
Come and see what at Newcastle passes. 
Here's a damnable rout, 
At a tea and turn out. 
And no one knows how to bring matters about. 

It seems, at our summer Assizes, 
(Or at least so the present surmise is) 

The wife of the Mayor 

Never offer'd her chair 
At the Ball when the Duchess from Alnwick was there. 

Then 'tis said, too, by way of addition, 
Ta the Mayoress's turn for sedition, 

That, in right of her place. 

With her impudent face. 
She march'd out to tea at the head of her Grace. 

So our vigorous young Lord Lieutenant, 
Kext day, when the Grand Jury were present, 

Disclos'd to their view, 

(In enigma, 'tis true) 
The plot of the Mayoress and all her d— d crew, 

* The Duchess of Korthumbcrland. 



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When his health was propos'd> a9 Lievtenaftt^ 
He bow'd to the company present ; 
Then, with tears in his eyes. 
And to all their surprize^ 
*' My office, (his Grace said) too heavily lies, 

" I had firmly imagined till now, Sirs, 

" That our County was free from all row, Sirs ; 

*' But what has occurred, 

'' Though I sha'nH say a word, 
^' Till the voice of yourselves and the county is heard. 

*' All at present I wish you to know is, 
*' That my Duchess and dame Lady Fowis, 

'^ Have received such a blow, 

*' That they never can go 
''' To your ball, at Newcastle, while things remain sa 

*' A high rank has its weight in the nation, 
" If you hold it in due estimation ; 

" Then the Duchess and I 

" For ledress must apply, 
"" Tho' at present I mention no name— no not L . 

" All I wish is to find out your pleasures, 
^' And hope to avoid all harsh measures ; 
" Yet I always foresaw 
" This Republican jaw 
*' Would sooner or later produce Marti^U Law," 
Thus ended the young Lord Lieutenant, 
When the terrified company present. 
Cried, " Name, my Lord, name 
" Who's to blame — who's to blame ;'* 
But the Duke said, the County must smother the flame. 

And the Duchess and he, the next morning, 
Fulfiird my Lord Lieutenant's warning ; 

Then up before ci^y. 

And to Alnwick away. 
Their faces have ne'er aincfi been seen to this day. 



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NEWCASTLE ASSIZES, 

DUC^IBSS V. MAV0RE88 ; 
Or, a Struggle for Precedence. 

WHY, what's a' this about. 

Mister Major, Mister Mayor? 
Why, what's a' this about^ 

Mister Mayor ? 
Yor Worship's wife, they say. 
To the Duchess won't give way« 
Nor due attention pay. 

Mister Mayor ! 

But is this true, aw pray^ 

Mister Mayor, Mister Mayor f 
But is this true, aw pray. 

Mister Mayrar? 
If it's true, as aw believe, 
Ye'U ha'e muckle cause to grieve — 
The Duke yor toon will leave. 

Mister Mayor ! 

The Judge, Sir William Scott, 

Mister Mayor, Mister Mayor I 

The Judge, Sfar WilHara Scott, 
Mister Mayor ! 

Says, yor wife is much to blame ; 

And aw think 't wad be ne shame. 

To skelp her for the same. 
Mister Mayor t 

'Tis not the Judge alane. 

Mister Mayor, Mister Mayor ! 
Tis not the Judge alaive. 

Mister Maytu* ! 
But the Jo^e aiid Jury baith. 
Say, she's guilty o' maw failb^ 
An' so Sir Thomas saith. 

Mister Mayor ! 
H 



1 



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The Duke the Jury towld. 

Mister Mayor, Mister Mayor ! 
The D^ke thjB Jury towld, , , v 

Mister Mayor! 
H^ went with them to dine^ 
And sarely he did whine, 
'Boot his wife, mun, ow'r his wine. 

Mister Mayor 1 

^Twas sure ne noble decfd. 

Mister Mayor, Mister Mayor! 
'Twas sure ne noble deed. 

Mister Mayor! - 
He shev'd ne mighty sense. 
At yor Dame to take offence ; 
So let His Grace gan hence. 

Mister Mayor! 

But there's other folk to blame, 

Mister Mayor, Mister Mayor I 

But there's other folk to blame. 
Mister Mayor ! 

Yor wife has counsell'd with 

Wor Vicar, Johnny Smith, 

An' he's nought, ye knaw, but pith, 
^jster Mayor j 

IBa^oj life wrhen ye caxi# 

Mister Mayor, Wisjter Mayor 
Enjoy life when ye can. 

Mister Mayor 1 
Nor let the Brewer Knight, 
Nor the Duke, wi' a' his spite, 
jSaj yor wife's no i' the right, 

fiMAtet Mayor! 



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THE COAL TRADE, 

GOOD people, listen while I sing 

The source from whence your comforts springs 

And may each wind that blows still bring 

Success unto the Coal Trade ! 
Who but unusual pleasure feels 
To see our fleets of ships and keels ! 
Newcastle^ Sunderland, and Shields^ 

May ever bless tho Coal Trade. 

May vultures on the caitiff fly 
And gnaw his liver till he die* 
Who looks with evil, jealous eye, 

Down upon the Coal Trade. 
If that should fail what would ensue? 
Sure, ruin and disaster too ! 
Alas ! alas ! what could we do. 

If 'twere not for the Coal Trade J 

What is it gives us cakes of meal ? 
What is it crams our wames sae weel 
With lumps of beef and jdraughts of ale ? 

What is't, but just the Coal Trade. 
Not Davis' Straits or Greenland oil. 
Nor all the weidth springs from the soil. 
Could ever make our pots to boil. 

Like unto our Coal Triide. 

Ye sailors' wives that lave a drop. 
Of stingo fra the brandy shop. 
How could you get one single drop. 

If it were not for the Coal Tra^. «» 

Ye pitmen lads, so blithe and gay. 
Who meet to tipple each pay-day, 
Down on your marrow .bones and pray. 

Success unto the Coal Trad6 1 
H 2 



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May Wear and Tyne 9fcill draw and pour 
Their jet black treasures tp the shore. 
And we with all our strength will roar. 

Success unto the Coal Trade ! 
Ye owners, masters, Jjailors a*. 
Come shout till ye be like to fb' ; 
Your voices raise — huei^a ! huzza I 

We all live by the Coal Trade. 

This nation is in duty bound, 

To prize those who work under ground. 

For 'tis well known this country round 

Is kept up by the Coal Trade. 
May Wear, and iTyne, and Thames ne'er freeze. 
Our ships and keels will pass with ease. 
Then Newcastle, Sunderland, and Shields, 

Will still uphold the Coal Trade. 

I tell the truth, you may depend. 
In Durham or Northumberland, 
No trade in them could ever stand. 

If it were not for the Coal Trade. 
The owners know full well, 'tis true. 
Without pitmen, keelmen, sailori too. 
To Britain they might bid adieu. 

If It were not for the Coal Trade. 

So to conclude, and make an end 

Of these few lines which I have penn'd^ 

We'll drink a health to all those men 

Who carry on the Coal Trade : 
To owners, pitmen, keelmen too. 
And sailor^ vfho the seas do plough. 
Without these men we could not do. 

Nor carry on the Coal Trade. 



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TOM CARR AND WALLER WATSON, 

OR TOlI AND jrSftftr AT HOte&. 
Timt*-*' Tbtrt wm a bold Dtaj^b." 

O Marrows, howny-to the toon, 

WiMt em we will ha'e there ! 
We needn't fear the watchmen noW, 

Let them come if they dare ! 
We'll hev a jill and sing a umg, 

And thro' the streets we'll roar a ditty. 
For Tom Cart hec ne biznesi now 

To put mi a' neet f die Kitty. 

Whack, fkl, &c. 

For when he cam before me Lord* 

He fand his sel a' wrang. 
For tyaken Watson up yen nect 

For singin a wee bit sang. 
Another chep ca'd Walton te. 

Aw own that he was radier munry. 
For he tell'd the watchman to be off. 

Or else he'd give him Tom and Jorry* 
Whack, fal, dec 

The watchman seix'd him by the neck. 

Then up cAm other two : 
Says Walton, * Now let go o* me. 

Or aw'U let ye knaw just now/ 
Then he lilted up his great lang airm. 

Me sowl I he gav him sec a knoller ; 
But the WAtdiman kept his baud se lang^ 

He puU'd off Walton's Dandy Collar. 
Whack, fal, &c 

To the watch-house then they dragg'd them ofl^ 

Before greet Captain Carr : 
JSays he, * What ha^e ye getten here, 

Me worthy men o' war?' 
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I38f 

Wye^ sir, says they, here's twe greet ebeps. 
The yen aw shure deserves a swingin ; 

For they've roar'dand shooted ihro' the streets^ 
And wyaken'd a' the folks wi' singin. 
Whack, fal, &c. 

' Aye, aye,' says Carr, ' aw ken them weel, 

Tyek them out o' my sect ! 
Away wi' them to Mister Scott, 

And keep them there a' neet.' 
Says Walton ^ Will ye hear me speak ?' 

Says Tommy, * Go you to the devil P 
' Wye, wye/ says Watson, ' never mind. 

But surely this is damned uncivil/ 
Whack, fal, &c. 

Then away they went to Mr Scott^ 

And fand him varry kind i 
Says he, ' Young men, I'll treat ye weel. 

The' here against your mind.' 
* O Sir,' said they, * you're very good. 

But faith thiiS place luiks dark and frightful V 
Says Walton, * What a sweet perfume !' 

Says Watson, ' Lord, it's quite delightful !* 
Whack, fal, &c 
But Watson myed Tom Carr to rue. 

Before 'twas varry lang : 
He had him tried before me Lord, 

And Carr fand he was wrang* 
Me Lord tell'd Carr he had ne reet 

To shop them, e'en had it been lyater^ 
Until he'd tyen them, first ov a'. 

Before a Mister Magistrater. 

Whack, fal, &c 
Now Tommy Carr may claw his lug, 

Th' expences he mun pay : 
But still there's nyen that's sorry for't ; 

" It sarves him reet," they say. 



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139 

So howay« lads, let's off to toon; 

We'll a' put wor bit better hats on / 
And if Tom Carr shops us agyen^ 

Me so'wl ! we'll give him Waller Watsom 
Whack, fal^, &c. 

JOHNNY SC--TT AND TOMMY C— RR. 

A DIALOaUEt 

5'c»//_AH f woes me ! what shall I do, 

Tommy C*rr, Tommy C»rr ? 
For I have mott cause to rue^ 

, ^tomroyC*rrI 
Though your costs are very great. 
Yet much h2M*der is my fate — 
I may shut the Kitty gate. 
Tommy C»rr! 

C*rr— -I will soon be clfear of mine, 

Johnny Sc»tt, Johnny Sc*tt ! 
For I will myself confine^ 

Johnny Sc*tt! 
Just for three short weeks or so. 
Up the nineteen steps I'll go, I 

And be wash'd as white as snow^ I 

Johnny Sc*tt ! i 

Sc*tt—Ohl that tyrant of a Judges 

Tommy C*rr, Tommy C*rr! 
He has surely had some grudge, ! 

Tommy C*rr ! ! 

Can we gain our honest bread. 

Now when cut off in full trade, , 

We who've been so long well fed. 

Tommy C*rr ! j 



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140 

C^rr-^Oh ! how trifling was our chance, 

Johnny Sc*it, Johnny Sc»tt I 

Oh ! had Scarlett been at France, 
Jrfinny Sc*tt ! 

Brougham's help was all we had. 

Well he knew our case was bad ; 

And au'd Bayley frown'd like mad, 
Johnny Sc«tt ! 

S£*iU^\ my huckstering shop may let. 

Tommy C*rr, Tommy C*rr ! 

No more customers we'li get. 
Tommy C*rr ! 

Mrs Sc*tt has room to growl. 

There is not one hungry soul 

For to buy a penny roll. 
Tommy C*rr ! 

C*rr-^Let us curse the day and hour, 

Johnny Sc«tt, Johnny Sc»tt ! 
That depriv'd us of our power, 

Johnny Sc*tt ! 

Fam'd Newcastle's rattling boys 

Will kick up a thundering noise. 

And &r/un will black our eyes, 

Johnny Sc*tt I 

TOMMY C^R IN LIMBO. 
Tm«— -'< Scots wha ha*t, Ace.'* 

YE tfiflt like a lark or spree f 
^ Ye that's iv the Kitty free ! 

Now's the time for mirth an glee. 

For Tommy is 'up stairs. 
Ye that never yet went wrang— 
Ne'er did warse than sing a sang, 
Ye that offen bad to gan ^ 

And viiit Mr Mayor's. 



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1J.1 

Now then let your joys aboinitl— ^ 

Now begin yor neetly rounds. 

An* inyek the streets wi* mirth resoand. 

Since Tommy is up stairs. 
Whe before Judge Bay ley stood. 
For sending Watson into quod ?— 
Whe wad grace b, frame of Wood f 

But honest Tommy C — r. 

And when fou, wi' cronies dear^ 
Ye'd sally out to Filly Fair, 
Whe was sure to meet ye there ? 

But honest Tommy C — r : 
Wiv his beaver round and low. 
Little switch, an' thick surtou*. 
Like Satan prowling to and fro. 

Seeking to devour. 

Whe was sure your sport to mar. 
And send ye off to Cabbage Square ? 
Whe was Judge and Jury there ? 

But honest Tommy O-r. 
Whe wad niver tyek yor word ? 
An' if to walk ye'd not afford, 
Whe wad strap ye on a board ? 

But honest Tommy C— r. 

The KITTY PORT ADMIRAL at the BENCH ; ^ 

OR, D0OB£RRY IN THE SUDS^ 

Air:-" The Opera Hat." 

OH the Devil go with you, fat Tom C— r ! 

Bribe him well he'll be your counsellor^ 
Give you courage when at the bar. 

And grant you a special favour : 
Some folks thowt you were gyen to hell. 

And other some to Derry : 
But sup the broth you've made yoursel. 

There', no one can be sorry. go the Devil, &c. 



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'Ti« well you leave the scorn of those 

You've sent into the work- house. 
For, hangman like, you'd have cash *nJ clothes. 

When their friends were glad of the carcase. 
So the Devil, &c 

Bad luck, say I, to your broad brimair f 
Your crimes 'twill not half smothef; 

So go to Stuart's, in Denton Chare, 
And prithee choose another. 

So the Devil, &c. 

For if ever upon the Quay again> 

You beg for beef and biscuit. 
The sailor lads will surely cry, 

Gods ! lad, you've sairly miss'd it. 
So the Devil, &c. 

May the tread mill turn to a whiskey shopi 

The parrot into a monkey. 
And Tom C-^r selling fine shirt neck buttons 

Upon a tripe-wife's donkey. 

So the Devil, &c. 

THE OWL. 

Written Feb. 1826.— Tune— JT, r, Z. 

NOW run away amang the snobs. 
An' stangies i' the Garth, man. 
An' hear about the greet black Owl, 

That's let on Cappy's hearth, man — 
Of sic a breed, the Deil his sell 
Its marrow canna' find in Hell ! 
It hops about wiv its sloutch hat. 
Can worry mice like wor Tom Cat— 
An' sic a yarkin blubber heed. 
It bangs X, Y, that famous, steed. 

Or ony thing ye like, man. 



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14S 

Oft frev its nest, in Cabbage Square, 

It flaffer'd out at neets, nan, 
'Mang sic a flock that neetly blare, 

An* carry crooks an' Icets, man- 
Then prowl'd wor streets in search o' prey. 
An' if a mouse but cross'd his way. 
He quickly had it by the nose. 
An' pawk'd it off to kuel its toes,— 

DidHoo! Hoo! wi' the blubber heed. 
That bangs X, Y, that famous steed— 

So, Cappy, keep him tight, man. 

To tell how Cappy gat this burd. 
Aw wad be rather fash'd, man ; 
Some say that, of its awn accord. 

It went to get white tvasKd, man. 
So scrub him, Cap, with a' yor might. 
Just nobbit make the lubbart white — 
But if yor brushin' winna dee. 
There's Waller Watson, Walton tee. 

They'll scrub him as they did before. 
An' make the bowdy-kite to roar — 

If Cappy keeps him tight, man. 

St Nich'las bells now sweetly ring, 

Yor music's sae bewitchin' — 
Ye lads in Neil's* now louder sing. 

An' warble weel, Hell's Kitchent-— . 
For yor au'd friend is in the trap, 
Alang wi' his awn brother. Cap: 
Then shout hurra ! agyen we're free. 
At neets to hev a canny spree; 

In gannin hyem, ne mair we'll dreed 
The lubbart wi' the chuckle heed — 
Mind, Cappy, keep him tight, man. 



• A famed public- house, at the head of Manor- chare, 
f The tap-room of a famed public-houie, near the head of 
Oroat Market. 



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144 
LOVELY DELIA. 

Tune*— •« Slecpin|^ Maggie." 

UPON the flow'ry banks o' Tyne, 
The rose and myrtle may entwine ; 
But were their every sweet divine. 
They wadna a' be like my Delia. 

Clear beams the eye o* Delia, 
Heaven's in the smile o' Delia ; 
. Nor flowers that blaw, nor falling snaw, 
Wftre e*er sae pure as lovely Delia. 

Gently blaw, thoa whistlin' wind» 
Along the bonny banks o* Tyne, 
Where nature every grace combin'd 
When she first forra'd my life, my Delia ! 
Clear beams the eye o' Delia^ 
Heaven's in the smile o' Delia ; 
Nor flower diat blaws, nor winter maws, 
• Were e'er sae pure as lovely Ddia* 

Tho* a' the wee birds round me sing. 
To welcome back the blithefu' spring ;' 
Yet a' the music they can bring 
Is na sae sweet's the vcHce o' Delia. 
Clear beams the eye o' Delia, 
Heavea's in the smile o' Delia ; 
Nor flower that blaws, nor ^rifling snaws. 
Were e'er sae pure as my lov'd Delia. 

The bonny little playfu' lamb, 
Tliat frisks along the verdant plain, 
^ Is nae mair free fra guilty stain. 
Than is my life, my love, my Delia. 
Clear beams the eye o' Delia, 
Heaven's in the smile o' Delia ; 
Nor flowers that blaw, nor whitest snaw. 
Iff ere e'er sae pure m my sweet DdLui. 



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145 

The priests they tell us, all aboye. 
With angels, do delight in love ; 
Then surely angels must approve 
Their image in my lovely Delia. 
* Clear beams the eye o' Delia, 
Heaven's in the smile o' Delia ; 
Nor flower that blaws, nor new-bom snaws^,; 
Were e'er sae pure as lovely Delia. 

Truth and kindness ^ver reigns. 
In a' her heart, thro* a' her veins ; 
Yet nane shall ken the pleasing pains 
I hii'e endur'd for my sweet Delia. 

Heaven's in the seaile o' Delia, 
Bright's the beam in her dark eye ; 
Nor flower that blaws, nor virgin snaws. 
Were e'er sae pure as ray lov'd Delia. 

PANDQN DEAN. 
Tune—" Buikt o* Doou." 
FAREWELL, ye fragrant, shady groves I 

Farewell, thou charming sylvan scene. 
Where partial mem'ry hajdess roves— 

I bid adieu to Pandon Dean. 
I bid ye all a long adieu. 

And fare thee well, my lovely Jean ; 
Thine equal I shall never view. 

Whilst far awa' fra Pandon Dean* 

The songsters chanting on the spray. 
The shrubs and flowers, sae fresh and green. 

Increase my heart's tumultuous play. 
Which dwells on thee and Pandon Dean. 

Tho' far awa' in foreign lands. 

And trackless oceans foam between^ 
I ne'er thidl break those dearest bands 

Thou wreath'dst for me in Pandon Dean. 



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146 

These to my heart shall dearest be 

When sharp afflictions pierce me keen; 

'Twill soothe my woes to think on thee. 
Thou fairest flower in Pandon Dean. 

If Fortune smile Pll then return. 
To deck my love in silken sheen ; 

And dwell with her just by the burn 
That wimples through the bonny Dean. 

NANNY OF THE TYNE. 

WHILST bards, in strains that sweetly flow. 

Extol each nymph so fair. 
Be mine my Nanny's worth to show^^*- 

Her captivating air. 
What 9wain can gase without delight 

On beauty there so fine ? 
The Graces all their charms unite 

In Nanny of the Tyne, 

Far from the noise of giddy courts 

The lovely charmer dwells ; 
Her cot the haunt of harmless sports. 

In virtue she excells. 
With modesty, good nature join'd. 

To form the nymph divine ; 
And truth, with innocence combined. 

In Nanny of the Tyne. 

Flow on, smooth stream, in murmurs sweet 

Glide gently past her cot, 
•Tis peace and virtue's calm retreat,—- 

Ye great ones, envied noU v 
And you, ye fair, whom folly leads 

Through all her paths supine, 
Tbo' drest in pleasure's garb, exceeds 

Not Nanny of the Tyne. 



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147 

Can art to nature e'er compare^ 

Or win us to believe 
,Bat that the frippery of the fair 
^ Was made but to deceive. 
Strip from the belle the dress so gay. 

Which fashion calls divine. 
Will she such loveliness display 

As Nanny of the Tyne. 

THE NEWCASTLE HACKNEYS. 

THE Londoners long for example we've chose. 
And imported each fashion as fast as it 'rose ; 
But the best hit of all, in our awkward approaches, ' * 
Is St* Nicholas' Square, and the new hackney coaches. 

The ladies have long had advantage of roan. 
In that ^asy conveyance, a walking sedan ; 
Now the tables are turn'dbn the opposite side. 
For the ladies must w^lk while the gentlemen ride. 

When our beaux are dress'd out for a rout or a ball. 
They've nothing to do but a hackney to call- 
Consult not the weather, nor muffle their chins— 
Nv^anger of breaking, o'er scrapers, their shins. 

When a couple's resolv'd on a trip to the church. 
Where a lady has sometimes been left in the lurch ; 
To prevent a misfortune like this, for the future. 
Pack up in a hackney your amiable suitor. 

When impertinent tradesmen your're likely to meet. 
Or a bailiff desery at the end of the street-^ 
Press into your service a hackney and pair. 
For the devil himself would not look for you there. 

To many things else they'll apply, Pve a notion^ 
They'll even be found to assist your devotion ; 
The doctors will find them most useful, no doubt on% 
In peofding the world, or to send people out on't. 



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148 

Then success to th^ hackneys, and long mxy they roil— 
Of balls and assemblies the life and the soal : 
Since so useful they are, and so cheap is the fare. 
Pray who would not ride in a carriage aod pair ? 

NEWCASTLE HACKNEY COACHES. 

TuHE— «'.The Bold Dragoon.** 

OF a' the toons that*s i' the north, 

Newcastle bangs them a'. 
For lady folk and gentlemen. 
And every thinpr tha's braw, 
, A fig for Lunnen i' the Sooth — 

But mind now, let's ha*e nae reproaches. 
For they say that Lunnen's hang'd hersel. 
Thro* spite at wor new Hackney Coaches. 
Yep 1 fal der al dai, &a 

Wor toon hez grown see big now. 

Aw ne'er saw the like before ; 
Live ye only lang eneugh 

Ye'll see't joinM to Tyncmouth shore: 
We've our Literantary Sieties, 

Shops cram'd wiv plate and diamond broaches. 
But it's nee use telling bny mair. 

There's nowt gans doon but Haekney Coadieai. 
^ Yep! &C. 

Ca-la-de-scoups were yence Ae rage. 

Sedans — were a' the go; 
But till the noise gets fairly awer. 

They may keep them iv a row : 
Gang where you will the talk is still. 

At tea or cards why aU the rage is, 
" Why bless me, sir I have you not seen 

'' Oar stilish two-horse Hackney Su^saP 

Yep!&9& 



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\4m 

i, Sood^Met l^Qge te^ we vii^t, hfor, 

A ?iflMilly wo|^ gAiiB to get. 

And other streets as good : 
Mnw stng* ! aw; tUnk we'll 'clipfl# them^ oitf 1 

But iailh aw'd better band ma ditfi)^ 
J?er fitac, ye k^n, ift g«figi9g byeiii» 

Xhe Haokmyfy m^ tK> t^ IRittgr. 

Yep 1 fal der al dal^ &c. 

NEWCASTLE VONDEE&; 

^R, OUJI HACKNBY COACH CUSTOMERS. 
MY B. Eif^gy. 
Tune--*^Qee, ho, Dobbin.*' 
SINCE the Haclsneya began in Newcassel to run. 
Some tricks lui'e been pby'd off which wyed k4s o' fun: 
For poor foUia oan ride tkow, Aak ne'er rode befoie. 
The eBcpeaee^ is see eann^y its suea gettia o'«r. 

Gee, ho, DoWpin^ &c. 
'Mang the re^ o' t;he jokes was a ladfra the FeH, 
Where he lives wiv his fyether, his nyem's Geordy Belk 
For hewin' tl^ere*s nyea can touch Geordy for skm — 
When he cojs^es to Newcassel he gets a good Hlh 

Gee, ho, Dobbin^ ^c 

Que (l9Jf> .Wing; crangi'd wi' (aX fl?&h an' i^tisang l?i^r> 
Left song^ &ie9<l& et ^^ Cock,* an' away 1^ did steer, 
Wiv his hat on three hairs, through Wheat Market did 

•Pfidfti 
WhcA ^ Co#i;^ifiui9 QW. VP, erf wW-rr-ljHr* will ye. udfii 

Qeej h#, Dpbbw, ^(^ 
Wey> smash nee^p-^ We thou, buui^^^HdwJ wkkt die 

thoa neaje It* 
I drive the best coach, sir, that ever was seen.— 

^ A famed public-houic, at the Head of the Side. 



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150 

To ride iv a coach ! Smash, says Gcordy, aw's wiHin'— 
Aw'll ride i' yor coach though it cost me ten shillin' ! 

So Gee, ho, Dobbin, &c 

Then into the coach Geordy clavver'd wi' speed. 
And out at the window he popp'd his greet heed : — 
Pray, where shall I drive, sir-please give me the nyem?- 
Drive us a' the toon ower, man, an' then drive us hyem! 

Gee, ho, Dobbin, &c. 

Then up an' doon street how they rattled alang, 
TOl a chep wi* the news tiv au'd Geordy did bang, 
'Bout his son in the coach, and, for truth, did relate. 
He was owther turn'd Mayor, or the greet Magistrate ! 

Gee, ho, Dobbin, &c, 

Au'd Geordy did caper till myestly duen ower. 
When Coachee, seun after, drove up tiv his door — 
Young Geordy stept out, caus'd their hopes suen to 

Btagger, 
Said, he'd paid for a ride just to cut a bit swagger. 

Gee, ho, Dobbin^ &c. 

To ride fra Ne wcassel mun cost ye some brass :— 
Od jsmash, now, says Geordy, thou talks like an ass ! 
For half«a-crown piece thou may ride to the Fell — 
An', for eighteen-pence mair, smash, they'll drive ye 
to Hell ! Gee, ho, Dobbin, &c, 

Au'd Geordy then thowt there was comfort in store. 
For contrivance the coaches nyen could come before : 
Poor men that are tied to bad wives needn't; stick — 
Just tip Coachee the brass an' they're off tiv Au'd Nick. 

Gee, bo, Dobbin, &c 



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151 

NEWCASTLE IMPROVEMENTS. 

BT R. CHARLTON. 

Tune— <* Canny N^wcassel.*' 
WHAT a cockney fied toon wor Newcassel hez grown- 

Wey aw scarce can believe me awh senses ; 
Wor canny au'd customs for ever ha'e flown. 

An' there *s nowt le^t ahint for to mense us : 
The fashions fra Lunnin are now a' the go. 

As there's nowt i' wor toon to content us— 
Aw'U not be surpris'd at wor next 'lection day. 

If twe Cockneys put up to 'present us. 

Times ha'e been when a body's been axt out to tea. 

Or to get a wee bit of a shiver, 
Wor hearts were sae leet we ne'er thowt o* the cau'd. 

Or the fear o' wet feet plagu'd us niver ; 
But i' blanket coats now we mun get rau£Bed up. 

For fear that the cau'd should approach us— - 
And to hinder a spark get tin on to wor breeks. 

We mun jump into fine Hackney Coaches. 

Aw've seen when we've gyen iv a kind, freenly way 

To be blithe ower a }ug o* good nappy— 
The glass or the horn we shov'd round wi' the pot. 

For then we were jovial and happy : 
fiut now we mun all hev a glass t' wor sels. 

Which plainly appears, on reflection. 
We think a' wor neighbours ha'e gettin the cl-p. 

And are frighten'd we catch the infection. 
The yery styen pavement they'll not let alyen. 

For they've tuen'd up and puttin down gravel ; 
So now, gentle folks, here's a word i' yor lugs— - 

Mind think on't whenever ye travel ; 
If in dry dusty weather ye happen to straj^. 

Yell get yor een a* full o' stour, man — 
Or, if it be clarty, you're sure for to get 

W«el plaister'd byeth 'hint and afore, man 
12 



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If A* theif iihpt6^€tiAenU aw wtt^ fyr Uf itYf, 

Aw might sit hetv 4ikI nkff^-'^^ye^ for erer ; 
There's the rurfi weak m waftter, i'steai^ </ the staff 

That was us'd for to burn oiU wer liver 1 
Aw's fair seek and tir'd o' the things that aw^ve sun^, 

^ aw think now aw'U myek a conclusion. 
By wishing the cheps iv a helter may swings 

That ha'e browt us tiv a' this confusion. 

COME UP TO THE SCRATCH I 
oir, tne ihrrttAft tfAAHaarm 

Tone—" Caldcr Fiir." 

NOW haud ydf tofrgaes 'bout MollitinoXy •r d»y o' 

the trafd^. 
Ye ne'er ccmld My that Kenton Ralph of e^er a cfep 

wa« flay'd*— 
Yor Langans an' y ot Springs may come to Kanton toon 

ir flocks, 
Wor Ralph '11 sinatter a' their libs^ be ia sae Strang, 

btf dX ! Fal de ral, &c 

Wiv Ralph an' Luke aw off yen neet for Sandgate on 

A spree, 
An' swore Newcassel dandy chep$ to fight and myek 

liiem flee— 
We gat into the Barley Mow wor thropples for to wet. 
An' sat an' drank till fairly foo^alang wi' Wood«Ieg*d Bet* 

Fal de ral, &«. 

We gat up, for Hwas gettin' lyet, an* leaving Sandgate 

suen. 
To Pandon went to hev a quairt before* we left the tdon; 
Some Fawdon lads were in the Boar^carrvin' on the war, 
Wi' Humpy Dick an' Black Scotch Veg, a' singin' 

' Slush Tom C— r.' Fal de ni, At. 



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Ui$ 

13)00 {[fixmiM hy fm by P%rijn Sj^«et, tpua^ clfif^y fyr 

to catch, 
Jw/^ qh^pa, b;8itf drup]^ cam up tiv ut^ aa' m^, 4^t9 if 

Here*$ Lukey kens that aw's a man^ ari' scartin' aw 

•disdaiii, 
Sttixomenfi'lick m jf ye con-^aw'JU {fight. liU inwjbt 

slain! fM.<i»mi» &c. 

They cram'd a haggish on each fist, or something very Iike« 
IhfiU'hfildtthem i^ plose to wor iyece^ an' ifar!d n$fyt 

jtojilrike: 
But Lukey^ clicken up his claes, cried^ Ra;lp1iyy lad^ 

let's runj 
Od smash yor luggish heed^ how-way-— becrike it'll 

fEommy (Du^ 1 >F^ de wsi, &c. 

Poor Lukey ran^ but ftilph was left^ he couldn't get 

away. 
They pelted him till Watchey cam an' ended wor sad 

fr«y; 

Then Ralphy wen fand Lukp ^^^^ ^^ such-a seet^ 

begox! 
His nose an' fyece w«a thidk o' blood— just lika a 

Bubbly Jock's; 'Fal de ral, &c. 

Smash ! how diartiiou.kffn Tommy jD^^-«f?jaidIWphy 

iniafhcuny: 
Aw4iefd'him fi^tin' on the stage yen neet in 'Tom 

and Jurry ;' 
A grocer chep, aw.satbeside, t«ir.d.me.his ny^m JO turn, 
Wi' Cribb, an' Ga^,.ftp' a' the r^sfe an' qliver .j^mmj 

©•'HI. F^lder^, See. 

That neet we had a lia^i^h (fight, -'tween B««n 4in' 

O-^ vae'fine-— " 
Aw roar'J o»t, Aw*U'biy «ny teass^bat Jim ower Tom 

Will fhine"! 

I Z 



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154 

But, wiv Bis haggish, Toraniy suen gav Jemmy suc&s 

He fell smack doon upon the stage— begbx, he broke 
his leg ! Fal de ral, &c. 

The next time aw cuiifi ti* the toon, if we fa' in togither, 
We'Jl hev a jill and drink success to B— -a an' D^-n 

howsever :— 
Aw own that aw was fairly duen, an* smatter'd varry 

sair. 
But ne'er for want o' haggishes shall Ralph be beaten 

mair. Fal de ral,. &c 

THE PITMAN'S DREAM; 

.OR, A DESCRIPTION OF THE NORTH POLE. 
By the Same. 

Tuae — ^** Newcaitle Fair." 

AW dream'd aw was at the North Powl, 

It's a fine place a-back o' the muen, man — 
Maw sangs ! Captain Parry '11 growl. 

For he cannot get tid half sae seun, man : 
There aw seed the Queen, Caroline, 

An' her lass they sae badly did use, man, 
Wi' Geordy the Thurd drinkin wine. 

An' the snuffy au'd dyem brushing shoes, man. 

Rum ti iddity, fcc. 

Aw began then to swagger about. 

Just to see Castleree aw was itchin', 
"When Percival gar a greet shout, 

Od smash, he's doon stairs i' the Kitchen ! — 
Th&wt aw, then he's just safe eneugb— 

Walking farther, aw meets Bonapartie 
Alang wi' au'd Blucher, sa« bluff. 

Speaking gabb'rish to poOT Captain Starkie. 

Rum ti iddity, &c. 



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155 

Aw gat in to see Robin Hood, 

Had twe or three quairts wi' John Mipes, man ; 
An* Wesley, that yence preach'd sae good^ 

Sat smoakin' an' praisin' the swipes, man : 
Legs of mutton here grows on each tree. 

Jack Nipes said, an' wasn't mistaken-— 
When rainin' there's such a bit spree, 

Fer there comes doon greet fat sides o' bacon* 

Rum ti iddity, &c. 
Brave Nelson here sells wooden legs, 

Iv a sliop, where aw think he'll get rich in- 
Just to see au'd Mahomet aw begs. 

But, wi* Thurtell, he's doon i' the Kitchen : 
Aw seed Billy Shakespeare sae prime, - 

Of plays he has written greet lots, man— 
An' there greet John Kemble does shine-— 

Sam. Johnson sups crowdies wi' Scots, man. '• 

Rum ti iddity, &c. 

How canny Joe Foster did stare. 

As be trotted past me on a donkey, 
'Mang lasses still wild as a hare. 

An' he keeps Jacky Coxon as flonkey : 
Ne bishops nor priests here they need. 

For the folks (hey can say their awn pray'rs, man- 
But, to myek them work hard for their breed. 

They're sent, on a mission, doon stairs, man. 

Rum ti iddity, &c. 
Aw agyen seed the canny au'd King, 

He's a far better chep now then ever — 
But, set aw yor fine kings iv a ring. 

Aw still think fourth Geordie's as clever. 
Aw've getten a pass for Doon Stairs, 

An' if AW see owt there bewitchin', 
Wey just think o' me i' yor pray'rs. 

An' aw'U send an account o' the Kitchen. 

Rum ti iddity, &c. 



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156 
THE PITMA»PS DREAM; 

bn, HIS DESCRIPTION OF THE KITCHSK* 

By the S»ine. 
1*ttift-^"HeU't Kiteteo.** 

THE (hiy %ar8 fine, the tsun aid shftie. 

Aw thowt frw v^ pfeparihg 
To leave the Powl, tayied tue rejkine-*- 

A-w ^aarce could keep fra blairin* ; — 
A greet balloon was bnmt me ^veuh, 

Twe cheps wi' wings isae switchin* 
Wiv it were sent to tyek me dodn 

To 'Show me a' the kitchen. 

Rightful, de nO, &e. 
Wit V my friends »w had a jill, 

King Geor^ waa quite ciaitjr-^ 
Says fae-^Now eat and drink yor 411, 

DoOn )»tair» gobd things are scanty. 
When deuB, says, aw— Kind folks, fareweel I 

Maw Guides their wings are stretchiii' :•— 
In the ballooV\ aw off- did reel 

To see this '^^^eerish kitchen. 

Right fal,de ralf*&c. 
We doon a narrow place Aid rowl— 

A« sure as maw ny 601*15 Cranky* 
This is the passage in the Powl 

That's mentioned hy the Yankee :• 

* Alluding to the ' follolNriBg ettribtdlmty 'AdTtttiMsncnt 
wkich recentty mttdeitfapptaraneekitlie l^faiHcito<jcHii)ia]i: — 

'« St. Lhuii, fMtkteitfi nfrUttyj 
NoribJfrtnHfg, if/^i/lO, a<. D.^SIS. 

•* To an the worid— I dfetlate the ^arfh to be holldw^and 
habitable within ; cOntftinhig^ dubi^^r of eoii^ntric ^heret* 
one within the other, and that their polte aire open Id or 1^6 de- 
greet. I pledge iSijteU h^ sqpport -of this truth»«ad'am ready 
to explore the concave, if the world will support and aid mt in 
the undertaking. » JOHN C. SYMMES,*' &c. &c. 



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A» we flew on it dtfrk^r gftw, 

Wi' «nch B lioi«B an' scrcechiii •-*- 
Greet clouds o' fire we'dni^teil fbrough. 

An' landed in the kitchen. 

Right fal^ de ral, Scc^ 

They use poor folks here wane than beasfts— - 
Greet lots o' Tupks «n' Tartors, 

Wi* lawyers, quakers, kings, an' priests. 
Were phiBEin' in a' 'quartets. 

The Jews were bowlting lumps o* pork- 
Mahomet, that aii'd vixen. 

Was tosa'd about frae fork to fork 
Wi* Derry in the kitchen. 

Right la^ deral, &c 

Fast i' the stocks an'd Neddy sait, 

The late Newcassel bellman^-*^ 
An' there was Honor JSreei, Bet WM, 

Just gaun the rig heitel, man : 
ThenfaHber in, trpon a stuel. 

Sat Judy BoWney lititebin^ 
She damii'd me'for a greet itark cull, 

¥ar euttiti' to the kitchen. 

Ri|rht fal, de ra], &c. 
Aw, wi' die heat an' want o' drink. 

Was swelter'd myest to deed, man- 
When fairly deun aa'^aun to sink. 

Aw was whupt off wi' speed, man.— 
Ho>Rr aw esc^'d aw's puzzled sair, 

'Twas like a sudden twitchin'*- 
Aw, like a lairk, flew through the air. 

Half roasted ira the kitchen. 

/ Right fal, deral, Sccr 

As aw .earn doon aw pati'd &e loneii. 

An' her greet burning inoaDtain»^ 
Her tumi&e roads «w ftnd oat siitii, 

Strang ti^er runs here in fountains i 



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158 

To hev a sup aw was reet fain^ 

Wi' some queer cheps thrang ditchin'— 

But waken'd then in Peercy Main, 
A lang wfliy frae the kitchen. 

Right fal, de ral, &c* 



HYDROPHOBIE; 

OR, THE SKIPP£R AND THE QUAKER. 

By the Same* 

Tuae— *• Good Morrow to your Nigktcap.*' 

AS Skipper Carr an' Markie Dunn, 

Were gannin, drunk, through Sandgate-^ 
A dog bit Mark and off did run. 
But sair the poor sowl fand it ; 

The skipper in a voice sae rough — 
Aw warn'd, says he, its mad eneugh-— 
How- way an' get some doctor's stuff. 

For fear of Hydrophobic ! 

Fal de ral, &c. 

The doctor dress'd the wound sae wide. 

An' left poor M&rkie smartin' — 
Then, for a joke, tells Carr, aside, 
Mark wad gan mad, for sartin :— 

Now, skipper, mind, when in yor keel, 
Be sure that ye watch Markie weel — 
If he begins to bark and squeel. 

Depend it's Hydrophobie ! 
Fal de ral, Sec 

For Shields, next day, they sail'd wi' coal. 

An' teuk on board a Quaker, 
Who wish'd to go as far's Dent's Hole, 

To see a friend call'd Baker : 



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159 

The Skipper whisper'd in bis ear*- 
Wor Markie will gan mad, aw fear ! 
He'll bite us a* — as sure's yor here. 

Well get the Hydrophobie ! 

Fal 4e ral^ && 

Said Quack— I hope this can't be true — 

Nay, friend^ thou art mistaken ; 
We must not fear what man can do — 
Yea 1 I will stand unshaken ! 

The skipper^ to complete the farce. 
Said — Maister Quaker, what's far warse, 
A b n' dog bit Markie's a — e. 

An* browt on Hydrophobic ! 

Fal de ral, &c. 

Now Markie overheard their talk. 

Thinks he, aw'U try the Quaker-— 
Makes Pee Dee to the huddock walk. 
Of fun to be partaker : 

To howl an' bark he wasn't slack. 
The. Quaker owerboard in a crack. 
With the fat skipper on his back, 

For fear of Hydrophobic I 

Fal de ral, &c. 

How Pee Dee laugh'd to see the two. 
Who, to be sav'd, were striying— 
Mark haul'd them out wi' much ado. 
And call'd them culls for diving : — 

The Quaker seun was put on shore, 
, For he was frighten'd very sore— 
The skipper promised never more 

To mention Hydrophobic ! 

Fal de ral, &c» 



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169 

ON ST. 0RI«P»9'S PROCSSSION, 

AT NEWCASTLE, JULY 'SOth. 1$%$. 

.Bv mm. jraxpoRD. 

Tune — '^ Fie, let ui a' to the Bridal.** 

THE herald of .flay is approadiing. 

To summon the Craft to repair^ 
To honour th^ ^rand Coronation^ 

In famed Peace and Unity Sgiiare J* 
By loyalty bound to our Sovereign, 

By reverence due to our Saint, 
Well fasten the trappings oF office. 

And march till we're ready to faint : 
Then fie, let us join the Procession, 

For there will the -ftplendQur these; 
The King^nd hki nobles are Gomii^g, 

And shouting i«sounds in Jbhe »air« 

The Champion, upon his gay dharger. 

The courage of Dy moke to show. 
Will fearlessly .throw down his gsdtlet^ 

And undauntedly conibattheibe. 
That shall Tor the honour contend, 

OF opposing the king with his might : 
But, being ithej^hoice of his peopL^ 

Thus doubly secure <iSihisjright. 
Tbenij^, let us.goin^ Sbfi. 

Then therell behistjrace the Ardibiifaop, 

In ancient druidical form : 
He hopes that the church and the istcte 

Mi^ ne'er have to encounter^ a storm . 

* The asms given Co the Hospital at the Head of Wettgite 
Sutet, at the Ceremony of laying the Foundadon Stone of that 
Buildiilg, 



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mi 

If timor were As frad as they fitaye bMn^ 
ftai sure he wonM soon feave hw se^ 

For fear Robm Hood, or hty party. 
Should bind him hard fast to a ti;e«. 
Then fie, let us join, &c. 

There'll be Princes, their Spearmen, and Yeomen, 

D»fce% Lords, moA Kmnphts n«t a few $ 
Captains, Lieutenants, and Culours* 

Wkfo Crispin's old master^ Sir Hugh. 
From the wcD^sack the Chanee^knr talking^ 

Like Eldon, with sense does abewid ; 
He hopea that our trade's manalaeture 

May be trod on through all the woald round. 
Then fie, let us join, £rc. 

The Mayor kindly grantittj^ permisskMfi, 

With DumeroDS frientls io his train, ~ 
Whikt gratitude rei^na m ear boao«M> 

Well thank them again aad again. 
Our bills we have hottourably settled ; 

Our clothes are upon the right shelf; 
. And I wish every sot did intruder 

Could say the same thin^; of himself. 
Then fie, let us close the Procession^ 

Though there was less ^grandeur there : 
We paid a blind bargain, I own it<— * 

'Twill help us of cheats to beware. 

CRISPIN'S VOLUNTEERS. 

BY THE SAME. 
Tune— <' The British Grenadiert.** 

YE jovial sons of Crispin f attend my rustic lay. 
While I relate what happen'd upon the other day : 
For music's aound made me look round, when ioaUntly 

appears. 
In erder graftdj the jovial band of Criapm't Voluntterat 



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162 

The lofty Crispin banners were bj two Ensigai bore. 
The Champion clad in armour went prancing on before^ 
With martial stride^ heroic pride, a warlike look he 

bears. 
While the Sword of State proclaims how great is Cris- 
pin's Volunteers. 

Knights of the Cross soon follow'd, succeeded by his 

Grace, 
The worthy grave Archbishop, with firm & steady pace; 
He plaoed the Crown, to their renown, on Crispin and 

his heirs. 
Then join'd the line, with looks divine, of Crispin's 

Volunteers. 

But mark the King, in grandeur, appears in public view. 
In m^esty walks forth in robes of royal hue. 
Supporters tirue, with Pages too, a lofty head he bears^ 
While the Crown of State proclaims how great is Cris- 
pin's Voluuteers. 

The Rods bound in a bundle do strength and union 

prove; 
The little Girls, dear emblems of innocence and love : 
Let mirth pervade this gay parade; — vile calumnj 

who fears ! 
It ne'er shall smart the honest part of Crispin's Volun« 

teers. 

Among the Dukes and Princes who grac'd this happy 

court. 
An Indian Prince Ambassador did to the King resort; 
Upon his steed he smokes the weed his native country 

rears, 
Whoclos'd the train— the gallant train of Crispin's 

Volunteers. 

They leave admiring thousands, to grace the festive 

board ; 
Let now my feeble efforts their lasting praise record : 



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163 

Wives, sweethearts, all attend the ball ! — ^let mirth dis« 

pel your fears. 
While the trump of Fame echoes the name of Crispin's 

Volunteers. 

FAMED FILLY FAIR; 

OR, A PREP INTO PILGRIM STREET. 

Come, Geordy, an* aw'll tell ye, lad, where aw hae been. 
In Pilgrim Street, where there's to see an' to be seen, 
A great many lasses, an' they shew off sic fine airs, 
Aw's sure they're all as wild as ony March hares. 

Now, d'ye no-but gah there iv next Sunday neet. 
About the time o* six o'clock, you'll see the fine seet ; 
A large 6how of lasses fine, that drive about there. 
They've neam'd it but reet when they ga'd Filly Fair. 

Now, one Sunday neet, to the high town aw went. 
That aw might get the evening cannily spent; 
Among the rabble, sure enough, aw gat there* 
And saw the fine dresses in fam'd Filly. Fair. ^ 

There's some lasses, they say, that are so very keen. 
That they come to this place just for to be seen ; 
And, on every wet Sunday, they sit down to prayer. 
And think it provoking they're not at the Fair. 

Aw enter'd the street with a great of deal of glee. 
Where the lads and the lasses in flocks aw did see : 
The task wad be endless to tell a' what was there, 
Aw mean the fine dresses in fam'd Filly Fair. 

Aw look'd about all these fine dresses to see. 
Aw glowr'd at the lassses, and they glowr'd at me : 
So now for a description, I will give to a hair. 
Of all th« fine things in this fam'd Filly Fair. 



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J64i 

Ther» W48 white gowns, silk tq^«ncer,8> apd floHQpst 

galore^ 
And q^«eeB moakey^jjackets a^w'd neVi; s^ea befiMie ; 
With little drakes tails, that hing from th/e hAiT* 
And large ringlets a' curPd, was in fkm*d Filly Fair. 

The spencers a' carv'd, wye, with cords of a' kind. 
That seenx'd iits^ ]ill« a^ijijgei!^ afbv^ imdh^ind; 
And black silks, and stript silks, and a' silks w^s there,. 
And pad^, and cat backs were in f^m'd Filly Fiur. 

Tlicre was hats like roy awn, with fine flee behiat cloak% 
And (jaeep thinf^s abint thej»u Uke the pitme&'s bail 

pokes ; 
And haU niyed of niuslii|« to let in the air. 
Besides some with Ugh-'Crowns were in,fam'd Filly Fair. 
The hats wcte decked o'er a' with vibbone and lace. 
And layrgt caJMbage nets weve thrawn a'er their &ce: 
Paddysoles too were there, as were many things mair. 
And ioe mobbed caps were in iam^d Filly Fair* 

There was scarfs of a* kinds, and of every degree ; 
And little wei^ bairneys, scarce up-to my kn/ee ; 
With beaux, arm in arm, they were driving thro^ there, 
Twas shameful to se^ them in fam'd Filly F^ir. 

O, mun 1 jiM like « loedstoM is thia curious phioe» 
For what I have tell'd you, aw*m wire it's the case^*-*- 
It's the QSM ol th«m; all that walk about th^i^e^ 
To be talk'd of by strangers in fam'd Filly Fair. 

And besides a^ the tricks that aw cannot explain. 
For this kind of rambling Vm sure I disdain: 
Take advice, my good lasses, and <lon^ wander there. 
Or your character's stained by walking the Fair«^ 

This advice now, I hope, you wiU feadily takc» 
And keep up yeur cb^rafCtj^r, for yeiur own sak^; 
It's nought unto me if all pight you walk thieie^ 
Bnt your name wiU be blasted bjr attending the Fiijr« 



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165 
KEELMEN AND THE GRINDSTONE. 

BY W. ARMSTRONG. 
Tune — ^**Derry Down." 

NOT lang since some keelmen were gaun doon to 

Sheels,' 
When a hoop round some froth cam alangside their 

keel; 
The skipper saw'd furst, an' he gov a greet shouts 
How ! b — <-r, man, Dick, here's a grunstan afloat ! 

Derry Down, &c. 

Dick leuk'd, and he thowt that the skipper was reet, 
So they'd hey h&c ashore, an' then sell her that neet :* 
Then he jumped on to fetch her---my eyes, what a 

splatter !•— 
No grunstan was there, for he fand it was watter. 

Derry down, &c. 

The skipper astonish'd, quite struck wi' surprise. 
He roar'd out to Dickey when he saw him rise— • 
How ! smash marrow— Dick, ho !— 'What is thou a« 

boot?— 
Come here, mun» an' let's, ha'e the grunstan tyen oot. 

Derry Down, &c. 

A grunstan ! says Dick-^wey, ye slavering cull i 

Wi' watter my belly an' pockets are full ; 

By the gowkey, aw'U sweer, that ye»re drunk, daft or 

doating— 
Its nee grunstan at a', but some au'd iron floating. 

Derry Down, &a 

K 



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,166 
T LY'« BEST BLOOD- 

A North Shields Song.— Written in 1820. 
WHILE Cartwrighi, and Wooler, and Cobbett, and all 
The souls of the brave attend Liberty's call, 
J**n T**ley, the best friend of kings since the flood. 
Is ready for slavery to spill his best blood. 

A press so licentious — ^for 'twill tell the truth- 
Is truly distressing to T**lcy, forsooth ; 
He's a foe to the Queen, and no wonder he should. 
Since he vows for oppressors to spill his best blood. 

What an excellent orator in his own way. 
Mechanics, Shoemakers, and Joiners do say : 
But he does not remember that Drones steal their food, 
W>ra it not for the Bees he would liave no best blood. 

The Loyalist party consumptive are grown. 
Though time-serving T**ley the fact may disown: 
And it will not be long — God forbid that it should ! 
Ere Reform freeze the springs of T**ley'8 best blood. 

• 

THE NEWCASTLE NOODLES. 

BY JAMES MORRISON. 

Be easy good folks, for we're all safe enough. 

Better fortune seems now to attend us; 
And two canny fellows, both lusty and tough. 

Have raised a new corps to defend us. 
Men sound wind and limb, good sighted and stout^ 

That can fight well, without being daunted ; 
Free from all diseases, such like as the gout,* 

And can jump, or be ready when wanted. 

CHORUS. 

Then if any invaders should dare us to fight. 

Let it be on the shore or the river. 
Bold Archy the Noodle, and Tommy the Knight^ 

Will guard and protect us for ever. 



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167 

The Noodles have ne'er been at battle as yet. 

Nor l)een brought down by scanty provision ; 
So to try them whenever his worship thinks fit. 

He'll find them in famous condition. 
In all their nianceuvres there's scarcely a flaw. 

They're quite up to the science o' killing ; 
For the Noodle drill Sergeant's a limb o' the law. 

And an old practised hand at the drilling. 

Then if any invaders^ &c 
Misfortunes however will sometimes attend. 

For one morning, by danger surrounded, 
A poor fellow splinter 'd his fore-finger end. 

And, of course, in the sarvice was wounded. 
'Tis true a sair finger's a very bad thing, 

But it didn't diminish his beauty ; 
So the next day he just popp'd hie arm in a sling. 

And, Briton- like, went upon 'duty. 

Then if any invaders, &c. 

They hare all been abroad, and as far too as Shields, 

But to walk there was no easy matter. 
So, for fear thatlheir boots should go down in the heels. 

They took the steam boat down the watter. 
Their warlike appearance was awfully grand. 

When they fired, it sounded like thunder. 
Which put all the natives o' Shields to a stand. 

And left them for ages to wonder. 

Then if any invaders, &c. 

What a pity they cannot get medals to bay. 

It greatly would add to their grandeur ; 
'' There's Waterloo soldiers !" the strangers would cry. 

And think Archy was great Alexander. 
These mighty Preservers if death cannot saye. 

But send one or two o' them bummin ; 
The rest o' the Noodles would fire o'er his grave. 

And tell the below-folks he's coming. 

Then if any invaders, &c 
K 2 



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168 

THE LOYAL ADDRESS. 

ABOUT sixty wealthy, learned men. 

In a certain borough town. 
Whose zeal you cannot equal, in 

The cause of Church and Crown ; 
Their zeal so great and ardent^ did 

Their learning far surpass ; 
And tempt these sapient^ loyal men 

Their Sovereign to address. 

Now after consultation held 

Among themselyei and friends. 
Concerning this their X^yal Address^ 

Their private views and ends ; 
It happened, I can't tell how, 

9at this tJbey did confess. 
That not one of them talent bad 

To write a loyal Address. 

This sad discovery for a while 

Did check their mad career^ 
And damp the ardour of their souls^ 

And fill their minds with fear: 
Till one, much wiser than the rest. 

Swore by the holy mass,* 
The Vicart of this borough town 

Could write the Loyal Address. 

Then to the Vicar straight they went 
And besought that he ^duld aid 

The committee's irade»layaU^, 
With his penan^ eke his head. 



* l^ppoied to^ be G. D. a Catholic, w)io, having no coniti- 
tutional rights himself, was onended at others for asking for 
those rights. 

t The Rev. John Smith. 



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169 

His consent given, they loiidry boast 

That thfey would far iiurpass 
The inslent Whigs and Radicals, 

VVith this their Loyal Address. 

The Vicar, a fastidious man. 

This application charm'd ; 
He redder grew about the face. 

Because his blood was warnl'd : 
He dipt his pen in ink, and then. 

Despising rules that pass 
With vulgar souls, who writing love. 

He wrote the Loyal Addresi. 

The ins'lent Whigs, and trait'rous Rads,* 

He flatly told the King, 
Were striving which into contempt 

Their Sovereign first should bring : 
And eke the Church they held in scorn, 

And sought her to depress: 
Therefore himself and Loyal Friends 

Had sent this Loyal Address. 

No sooner did this Loyal Addlrets 

Behold the light of day. 
Than wags weire found commenting on't; 

And one was heaf d to My>-^ 
That if the Priest would learn to if rite 

What with the world i^ould pasa, 
He to the Rads should go to learn 

To write a Loyal Addxess. 



* Radf, a term sometiinct uied iuitead ot the word Radicals* 
K S 



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170 
BRITISH JUSTICE; 

OR, NEWCASTLE PRIVY COURT. 

COME, all ye Britons who delight 

In Freedom's sacred cause. 
And boast the Triumphs of your Sires, 

Of just and equal laws. 
Wrung from a Despot's feeble grasp. 

List to this tale of mine. 
In baseness which you cannot pear,. 

Since the days of Lang Syne. 

To famed Newcastle's Secret Court 

A poor unlucky wight 
Was, for the sin of Bastardy, 

But very lately brought : 
Where, tortur'd most ingeniously. 

The rogue was made to whine. 
As few have been, for sporting ko, 

Since the days of Lang Syne. 

. In vain the culprit urg'd his cau«e. 

In eloquence of woe ; 
In vain he urg'd his poverty. 

To save him from the blow : 
Regardless of his just complaint. 

His judges laid the fine, 
So great as few poor dogs could pay. 

Since the days of Lang Syne. 

Now mark the justice of the Judge, 

Precisely at the time — 
A gentleman was brought to him. 

Just for the self same crime ; 
To whom the Judge, in alter 'd tone, 

Begg'd he would not repine. 
Such ills are common to the rich. 

Since the days of Lang Syne. 



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171 

Suffice ity these two sinners were, 

Tho* in the san^ degree 
Of guilt, adjudg'd a fine to pay, 

The ratio one to three : 
The man of rags was made to pny 

Three times a greater fine ; 
And sunk in misery, sent to think 

On the days of Lang Syne. 

Thus, Britons, are your laws dispens'd. 

Your boasted freedom's gone> 
Laid in your predecessors' graves. 

Or from the island flown : 
No longer Justice holds her seat> 

In majesty divine. 
In British Courts presiding now. 

As in days of Lang Syne; 

In vain you strive to wander back 

To times of peaceful joy. 
In vain you hope times to recall. 

Lost in eternity ; 
No, never shall those scenes return. 

No more shall Britain shine. 
As she was wont, so splendidly. 

In the days of Lang Syne. 

Can then Eternal Justice sleep. 

Regardless of the prater 
Of toiling millions sunk in debt. 

And driven to despair. 
By stern Oppression's iron hand. 

Oh ! no, the Power Divine 
Shall plead our cause as heretofore. 

In the days of Lang Syne, 



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17« 

The MISFORTUNES of RQGER and hi» WIFK 

BY J. B. 

Tune—" Calder Fair." 

LAST week was wor pay- week, and aw went te th' toon^ 
Alang wi' wor Susy to buy her anew goon; 
A sixpence i' my pocket—- we duddent pass the Close, 
But went into the Robin Hood and gat worsells a dose. 
Wiv a tooral, looral, looral, &c. 

Suin efter we gat canny, iand com alang the Brig, 
An' up the Bottle- Bank, man, we byeth srae went the rig, 
Wi' reelin and wi* dancin — " knackrng liecl an' toe," 
Our heads began to rattle where wor feet befbre did go. 

The Half-Muin Lyen we com te, an' that wor Susy 

found. 
For ower the stanes she fell, man, thafs lyen nil around, 
A daver, a devesher agyen the metai pump, 
An' aw, to save p«for Susy, got a duckin i* th' sump, 

Ower anenst the Dun Cow, there is a place myed reet^ 
As good for breekin necks, man, as ony i' th' street; 
Had e'er an inclination been for kadki me dmttxsey, 
I'm conscience that aw'd fund a\aw end by camin up 
this way. 

The biggest house i' Gyetshead projecting ower th'road 
Diz scarcely^ leave a "footpath to pass on, if you would: 
Were it not for the gas leet that's on the other side, 
Mony windpipes wad be closed^ aye, and mony open'd 
wide. 

A little farther up the street, abuin anld Jackson'sChare, 
A neatish bit o' dournament began, as passin there. 
For a — — — a ■ wi' guise an' shop-board new. 
Is cabbaging at Pleasant —- — to patch his Waterloo. 



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173 

But the worst o' all these evils is, their plannin o' the 

sxreet. 
Aye, sec a shem an bizen, were but decent folks te see t; 
For here's a hill, an* there's a hill, an' here they're 

pullin doon. 
And here they're buildin up, (whose fault ?) thfc owfy 

fuils i' toon. 

Thus onward we were passin, thro' trouble an' thro' 

strife. 
Scarce caring what misfortunes bad 'Hoger an* his Wife'; 
But ere we gan that way agyen, we'll greese our soles 

and heels. 
To scamper down by Sunderland, and up by smoky 

Sheels. 

Wiv a tooral looral, looral, &c. 

^ NEWCASTLE THEATRE IN AN UPROAR, 

With the Bear, the Horses, and the Dogs, at principal Performers 

IT'S ha'e ye seen how crouse and gay 
The lads and lai^ses bent their way. 
To see the horses act the play. 
At fam'd Newcastle Theatre ? 

There some in silks did proudly shine. 
And some were dress'd in caps se fine. 
And some on sticks there did recline. 
At fam'd Newcastle Theatre. 

The belles and beaux of low degree 
Were eager this fine sight to see ; 
And soon as they had got their tea. 
They set oiF for the Theatre. 

Then at the gallery door they stood,*-«- 
Impatient, and in fretful mood ; 
And many a one, faith, did no good 
By coming to the' Theatre. 



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174 

The ^oors being open'd, on they push'd^ 
Without distinction they were crush'd ; 
The cry was. Tumble up you must. 
To fam'd Newcastle Theatre. 

Next direful shrinks were heard aloud. 
Whilst heedless throng'd the busy crowd. 
Alike the slothful and the proud 
Were driven in the Theatre. 

A miller chep I chanc'd to see 
Frae out amang the crowd sae blae. 
Was running up an entry 

Near fam'd Newcastle Theatre. 

He'd got his coat torn cross the lap. 
My conscience ! 'twas a sad mishap ; 
But others still were worse than that. 
At fam'd Newcastle Theatre. 

There some their gowns held in their hand. 
And others lost their shawls se grand ; 
For if you crush'd not you might stand. 
At fam'd Newcastle Theatre. 

The pretty girls, to get a seat, 
Crush'd on, wi' hair dress'd up sae neat ; 
But soon came back, in sic a freet, 
Frae fam'd Newcastle Theatre. 

Now some got in without their shoes. 
And some got in wi' mony a bruise. 
And some cam hyem to tell the news. 
At fam'd Newcastle Theatre. 

Within the pit a brutish chap 
Had hit a maiden sic a rap, 
'Cause she refused to take her hat 
Off, in Newcastle Theatre. 



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175 

They took her home without delays 
When in a fit she fainting lay ; 
And faith she well may curse the day 
That e'er she saw the Theatre. 

The boxes too were fill'd se fine. 
With all the labouring sons of Tyne ; 
And servant lasses, M divine. 
Did beautify the Theatre. 

The heat was so excessive great, 
That, not to keep the folk too late. 
They hurry 'd on poor Timour's fate. 
At fani'd Newcastle Theatre. 

The play was done as it struck ten. 
Some greedy folks said, 'twas a shem ; 
However, they all wet went hyem. 
From fam'd Newcastle Theatre. 

FAREWELL, ARCHY. 

Written in 1820. 
Tune.—'* Chapter of Donkies.' 

NOW, Archy, my boy, drop the civical gown. 
For none ever fill'd it with half your renown. 
For wisdom and valour so glorious you shine, 
You're the pride, boast, and bulwark of old coaly Tyne. 

O brave Archy, miraculous Archy ! 

The pink o' the wise, and the wale o' the brave. 

To recount all your virtues a volume 'twould swell. 
So we'll just name a few, sir, in which you excel ; 
Your reign's been eventful, the times have gone mad, 
And well m^ht have puzzled more brains than you had; 
But sufficient was Archy, well able was Archy, 
To crush the sedition and treason of Tyne. 



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176 

Sure Machiavers self "was a fool to our Mayor, 
So honest he seem'd — then he promis'd so fiiir. 
To reform all abuses, give justice to all. 
And regulate watchmen, blood-sucker6 and all. 

O specious Archy ! legitimate Archy ! 

The firm, staunch supporter of things as they are. 

Then at the Great Meeting,* by Jove, what a jest ! 

-The Rads set you down for their chairman at least ; 

But the yeomen and specials in court you kept hid. 

Then sent off that precious Epistle to Sid* 
O rare Archy ! sly old Archy I 
Archy's the boy for the word or the blow ! 

O thou first of inditers, thou brightest of scribes. 
Thy invention, how fertile, in infamous lies ! 
How assassin-like was it to stab in the dark. 
And from truth and from justice so far to depart. 

O serpent-like Archy ! O fiend-lil^e Archy ! 

Q Archy, but that was a damnable deed. 

Next you went on a voyage of discovery to Shields, 
And got handsoDYely pep))er'd for meddling with keels; 
Then for refuge you fied to Northumberland's Arms, 
Who till now has defended your paper froin harms. 
Else down had gone Archy, thy paper, dear Archy, 
Down stairs might have gone for the public good. 

Then, for raising a riot, and reading the act^ 
Your honour against all opponents I'll back : 
And to crown you trfth laurelb, and finish my song. 
You re a Colonel <^ Noodles, and nme make* H man. 
Such as Archy and Cabbage, 
CAnny Jack Dixon, And thief-takihg Tom. 

• Held on Newcadle Town Moor, Oct. 11, 1819, relating to 
the Manchefter Ma&sacre. 



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SIR TOMMY made an ODD FELLOW. 

A ProvijKtal and very popular Song. - 

I'VE sung o* Newcassel tili black o* the fyess^ 
Tyne's Muse is as modest as ony ; ' 

Tho' oft she comes out in a comical dress- 
Here she goes for a lilt at Sir Tommy. 

YeVe seen him^ nae doubt, wi' his hat on ten hairs. 
Then he cuts sic a wonderful caper ; 

He has long been thought odd, for his kickmashaw airs. 
Now he's odd baith by name and by nature. 

Let Fame canter on till she's sair i' the hips. 
Proclaiming, frae Tynemouth to Stella, 

How the sun, moon, and stars a* went into tlje 'clipsc. 
When Sir Tommy was made an Odd Fellow, 

There's s^rice sic a man in a* Newcassel toon, 

With the famous Tyne Legion outsetting : 
Down, at Shieldft in a fray, thsy piclCd up sic renoon. 

That his nyem will nae mair be forgetten, 
Tho* envious at valour, ye a' look asquint. 

What heroes in fame e'er surpass'd them ? 
Wi* Sir Tommy before, and the sailofs behint. 

It was run ! and the Deil fyek the last one ! 
Let Fame canter on, &c. 

A Knight h^t wa& dubb'd, for sic sarvices brave. 

But a Knight wijbbout fee, is but little ; 
So they sent him to govern* where folks rant and rave, 

A station bq fit; tiv a tittle. 
Grand Master of, Ocangemen next he was call'd. 

Bells rung till the toon was a' quaking ; 
Now Most Noble Grand of Odd Fellows install'd— 

Fai^.! it'stio^^ a straigblij^Rket was. making. 
Let Fame canter oq, &c« 

* Governor. Cveasral of the Lunatic House. 



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That Sir Tommy has wit I wad fain here conTince^ 

He can myek sic a thumping oration, 
By which he astonish'd the Legion lang since. 

Now he wants to astonish the nation. 
By humbug reduc'd^ tho* his head's very lang. 

His brains scarce wad balance a feather : 
But just nominate him a Parliament man,* 

Head and brains will take flight a' thegither. 

Let Fame canter on, &c. 

O sons o' Newcassel ! free Burgesses a'. 

Ne'er be tempted your freedom to barter ; 
May they hing in tatters to frighten the craws. 

If ye budge but an inch frae your Charter. 
If ye send up Sir Tommy to London, M. P. 

I' the Parliament house to be seated. 
Ye may just as weel send Captain Starkeyt up tee. 

Your glory will then be completed. 

Let Fame canter on, &e. 



WpECKINGTON HIRING. 

OH, Lads and Lasses, hither come 

To Wreckington, to see the fun. 

An' mind ye bring yor Sunday shoon. 

There'll be rare wark wi' dancing-o. 
An' Lasses now, without a iHrag, 
Bring pockets like a fiddle bag, 
Ye'll get them cram'd wi' mony a whag 

Of pepper-kye^ an' scranchim-o. 



♦ It was reported in the London Papers, that Sir T. B. 
intended putting upas a Candidate to senre Newcastle im 

Parliament. 

t An eccentric character, w^jil known in Newcastle. ' *' 



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An' Bess, put on that bonny goon 
Thy mother bought thou at the toon ; 
That straw hat wi' the ribbons broon. 

They'll a' be buss'd that's coming-o: 
Put that reed ribbon round thy waist. 
It myeks thou luik sae full o' grace. 
Then up the lonnen come in haste. 

They'll think thou's com'd frae Lunnen-o. 

Ned pat on his Sunday's coat. 
His bat and breeches cost a note. 
With a new stiff 'ner round his throat. 

He luikt the very dandy-o : 
He thought that he was gaun to choke, 
FcJr he'd to gyep before he stpoke : 
He met Bess at the Royal Oak, 

They had baith yell and brandy-o. 

Each lad was there; wi' his sweetheart. 

An* a' was ready for a start. 

When in com Jack wi' Fanny Smart, 

And brought a merry Scraper-o : 
Then Ned jump'd up upon his feet. 
An* on the tabic myed a seet ; 
Then bounc'd the Fiddler up a heet, 

Sayin, * Play an' we will caper-o.' 

Now Ned and Bess )ed off the ball, 

* Play Smash the windows,' he did call, 

' Keep in yor feet,' says Hitchy Mall, 

' Learh'd dancers hae sic pranein-o :' 
Now Ned was nowther laith nor lyem. 
An' faith he had baith bouk an' byen, 
Yc wad thought his feet was myed o' styen. 

He gav sic thuds wi' dancin-o. 



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180 

Now Jackey Fanny's hand did seize, 

Cry'd, ** Fiddler, tune your strings to please !*' 

IJlay, " Kiss her weel amang the trees,'* 

She is my darlin', bliss her-o ! 
Then off they set, wi' sic a smack. 
They rayed the joists a* bend and crack : 
When duen he took her round the neck. 

An' faith he dident miss ber-o. 

The fiddler's elbow wagg'd a' ncet. 
He thought he wad dropp'd off his seet. 
For deel a bit they'd let him eat. 

They were sae keen o* dancin'-o. 
Some had to strip their coats for heet, 
An' sharts an' shifts were wet wi' sweet ! 
They cram'd their guts, for want o* meat, 

Wi' ginger-breed and scranshim-o. 

Now cocks had crawn an hour or more. 
An' ower the yell-pot some did snore ; 
But how they luikt to hear, the roar 

Of Matt, the King Pit caller-o ! 
' Smash him !' says Ned, " he raun be rang> 
He's callin' through his sleep, aw's war'n ;' 
Then shootii^' to tlie door he ran — 

' Thou's asleep, thou rousty bawler-o !' 

Now they danc'd agyen till it was day, 
Aa* then went hyem — but, by the way. 
Some of them h^d rare fun, they say. 

An' f^d it nine inonths after-o : 
Such tricks are play'd by heedless youth ; 
And the' they're common, nortli and south. 
That's na« excuse for breach of truth. 

Nor food for wit. and laughter-o. 



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1 

I 

181 

Suen Wreckhigton will bear the sway. 
Two Members they'll put in, they say ; 
Then wor Taxes will be duen away. 

An' we'll a' sing now or never-o : 
Backey an' Tea will be sae cheap. 
Wives will sit up when they sud sleep, 
An' we'll float in yell at wor Pay- week. 

Then Wreckinton for ever-o. 

ON RUSSELL THE PEDESTRIAN, 

Who walked 101 miles in S3 hours, 56 minutes, and 30 seconds. 

On the 25th and 26th of July, 1822, on the 

Newcastle Race Course. 

MEN'S talents vary — for wise ends design'd. 
This man has strength of body, that, of mind ; 
Each his peculiar art assiduous plies. 
And every maxim of improvement tries. 
Till he attain perfection by degrees. 
And learns to execute his task with ease. 

Wilson* desist ! and* Simpson t take your rest ! 
Ease and retirement now will suit ye best; 
Your brief excursions will excite no more 
That admiration which they did before ; 
^ Though doubtless ye have both endeavour'd hard, • 
Perhaps without an adequate reward ; 
But such laborious journies lay aside. 
And if ye can, instead of walking, ride, 
*' Hide your diminished heads !" nor vainly talk. 
Among your friends, how rapidly you walk : 

* George Wilson, the Blackheath Pedestrian, walked 90 miles 
in 24 successive hours, on the same ground, on "Easter Monday 
and Tuesday, 1822. 

t John Simpson, the Cumberland Pedestrian, attempted to 
walk ^6 miles on the same ground, in the same period of time, 
on Whit-Monday, and again on the 39th and SOth. of July, 1822; 
in both of which attempts he failed. 
L 



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183^ 

First in the annals of Pedestrian fame. 
Historians now will enter Russell's name; 
Where he will most conspicuouslj shine, 
And long be hail'd— The Hero of the Tyne. 
Upon this art he has so much refin'd. 
That he leaves all competitors behind. 
With buoyant step we've seen him tread the plain> 
And hope, ere long, to see him walk again. 

On SIMPSON the PEDESTJRIAN's FAILURET. 
TuiM — <»Barbary Bell." 

SITTINGcrush'd i' the huddock a' gobbingand telking^ 

We were mov'd wiv a spoke frae the little Pee Dee;^ 
Ah ! Skipper, he says» the auld man 'ill be walking. 

So we a' rose together and set off to see. 
When we gat to the Moor, he was dodging aw«^,iiiAii, 

Wi' twe cheps on each side, keeping a' the iblks back; 
And the bairns running after him, shouting hurra, man. 

So we just got a gliff, for he pass'd in a crack. 

Now Barney M'MulIin, his reet hand protector. 

With a sprig o* shelelah preparing the way. 
Was stopt on the road by a pubEcan hector. 

Who hinted that Barney intended fbul play. 
If Barney mov'd forward he threatened to drop hmr. 

For his walkings he said, put tiie man off his pace ;; 
But Barney concluded he'd ne right to stop him. 

And caird him a big-gutted rogue to his face. 

Every Freeman, say Barney, of land has a small stocky 

But to dunch people off is most rascally mean ; 
Then their rights wereprotected by bold Tommy Alcod^ . 

Who said he'd a share of the pasture sae green. 
When Tommy put on his^ election-day swagger. 

His genteel appearance made Barney's tongue cease > 
His speech was sae pointed, it pierc'd like a dagger: 

So Barney, poor soul, he departed in peace. 



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18» 

We stopt there' a' neet, till weel on i* the mornings 

Expecting he still would keep dodging away ; 
But he gar us the double, without ony warning. 

And hodg'd off the Moor, like a sheep gyen astray. 
When he enter'd the tent, we were a' sitting drinking. 

It was thought he had come to get something to eat ; 
But now it appears the poor soul had been thinking 

On the best ways and means to obtain a retreat. 
It seems the auld man had nae notion o' stopping. 

But as to what ail'd him, he knaws best his sell ; 
For whether he fail'd in his wind, strength or bottom^ 

The Skipper and I were byeth puzzled to tell. 
But it's owre and deun, so what signifies talking. 

Poor man he mun just lay his fist to the spade : 
Let them that think fit make their living by walking, 

Fot his part h^'s fund it's a very bad trade. 

mt VICTORY ; 

OR, THE CAPTAIN DONE OYER. 
Tune—*** O the golden dayt of good QUecn B^.** 

IT happ^n'd very lately, (upon ftiy Word 'tis true, sir,) 
A party at the Peacoek supp'd, aA I shall shew to you, 

m; 
The names of those I shall disclose, who form'd thia 

htafipy party. 
Were Waller Watson, Walton tob, both honest blades 

And heAity ; 
And with them were two friends of theirs, who just 

haA come to tc^n, shr. 
Hedges and Ingram are their naiaes, both travellers 

of JNteowil, dr. 

They sang and drank, and drank and sang, till time 

was welkfiog late, sir. 
Nor ever Ihelight a moment what that night might be 

their ftte, sir : 

L 2 



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184 

Near eleven o'clock they sallied out^ the night being 

rather cold, sir, 
('Twas on the eighth of Aprils as we hear the story 
told, sir,) 
They felt it not, for friendship's glass had warm'd 

their hearts within, sir. 
By drinking brandy, rum, oir wine, or eke good Hol«* 
land's gin, sir. 

Watson and Ingram both inclined to be a little merry 

sir. 
The others left — to Dean Street they proceeded in a 

hurry, sir; 
When Hedges he sung *' Fly not yet," why haste ye 

so away ? sir ; 
And Ingram promptly answer'd him, by calling' out, 

"Oh! stay," sir. 
The Verges of the night were rous'd — demanded 

why such clatter, sir. 
What's all' this hound-like noise about? come tell us 

what's the matter, sir. 

Then Walton said. They're friends of mine, and 

strangers in the place, sir ; 
But this they disregarded quite, and star'd them in the 

face, sir« 
Now Halbert cried out, " Seize them, Ross !— to the 

watch-hoose they, shall go, sir ; 
<' And Master Can* will Kitty Uiem, old friendship for 
to shew, sir." 
Then to the watch-house they were ta'en trium* 

phantly along, sir, 
For nothing, as l^e trial prov'd, but singing Tom 
Moore's song, sir. 

Arriving at the watch-house, where Dogberry sat in 

state, sir, ZsL^^J prate, sir ; 

The watchmen made false charges out, and did so 



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185 

Tom cried out, "What d'ye think of thi« ? No defence 

will I heaf, sir, Cpear, sir. 

My servants I will listen to, they've made it plain ap- 

Off to the Kitiy with them, watch, nor graut one 

short respite, sirs. 
But see that they re completely fast in durance all 
the night, sirs." 

Ye watchmen, for the future, remember Scarlett's dres- 
sing, sirs. 

The real sound drubbing you've receiv'd may be es- 
teemed a blessing, sirs : 

And should you e'er repeat such acts, vile tyrants as 
you've been, sirs, 

Scarlett against you may appear, and trim you black 
and green, sirs. 
Therefore a warning take in time, leave your infer- 
nal tricks, sirs. 
As you ere this must clearly find, you've kick'd 
against the pricks, sirs. 

, THE ALARM 1 ! !• 

OR^ LORD VAUCONBERG's MARCH. 
Tune— «» Cheyy Chace." 

GOD prosper long our noble king. 

And noblemen also» 
Who valiantly^ with sword in hand. 

Do guard us from each foe* 

No sooner did Lord Fauconberg, 
With heart undaunted hear, 

* On the commencement of the impreu service, in March, 
1793, considerable riots took place at Shields, which were re- 
presented, at Newcastle, in ^ thousand terriAc shapes ; and a 
false alarm having been given at the Mansion House, the drums 
of the York Militia beat to arms ; Lord Fauconberg marched 
that reigment to the house of Rendezvous in the Broad Chare, 
and then marched back again. 

L 3 



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186 

That news to Gotham had been brought* 
Which caus'd our M&yor to fe«r» 

Than up he rose, with eyes on fire. 

Most dreadful to the view : 
*' To arms ! to arms !" aloud he cried. 

And forth his falchion drew. 

To arms ! to arms ! full long and sore 

The rattling drums did beat : 
To arms in haste each soldier flies. 

And scours through every street. 

The women shriek and wring their hands* 

Their children weep around ; 
While some, more wise, fast bolt their door^ 

And hide them under ground. 

The French are at our gates ! they cry ^ 

And we shall all be slain ; 
For Dumourier is at their hend. 

And that arch-traitor Paine. 

In haste drawn c^p^ in fair array, 
Oiur Yorkshire Guards are seen ; 

And mounted on a jet black steed. 
Lord Fauconbei^ I ween. 

And now he^ g»ve idie word to marck. 

And valiant foremost rode: 
And now he bounds from tide to Md,^^ 

'Twas^well the streets were broad. 

From Newgate down to the Bvoad Chare 

They march'd, with might and nudn ; 
Then gallantly they ti|m'd them round. 

And so mardli'd up again* 
Now fill a bumper to the brim. 

And drink to Gotham's Mayor; 
And when again he hears such news. 

May Faucbnberg be there. 



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1«7 

SUNDAY EVE ; 

OR, LOKD FAUCONBERO'S HEKL. 

O GOTHAM! seat of dire alarmi ! 

When will thy tumults cease ? 
And« undisturb'd by clanging anns^ 

Thy sons repose in peace ? 
'When will the brazen trumpet's voice 

Cease to excite our fears ; 
.And fifes and drums' united noise 

No longer stun our ears ? 

Xo ! scarce were Tuesday's terrors past^ 

And calm'd our perturbation^ 
When news from Bambro' came, post haste^ 

Reviving consternation. 
For Fauconberg, and Yielder too. 

Then felt their blood run cool ; 
And thinking, both, the tidings true^ 

Both chose to play the fool. 

Time soon expos'd the waggish trick. 

And so restor'd our quiet ; 
When keelmen nextfof spouts grew sick. 

And straight began to riot. 
Terror once more each heart assaiPd, 

And cIouded*every brow ; 
For nought his Lerdblup'i fotce cvail'd^ 

To quell so fierce a crew. 

But see ! to chase away our fears. 

And guard us safe from dangers^ 
The brave Lord Darlington appears. 

With his terrific Rangers. 
Fine fellows, faith I yet certain wags. 

For ever on the banter, 
iDedar'd, that ndtfaer men nor nags. 

As yet had learn'd Iq canter. 



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1S8 

Some thought, nor were they far mistaken. 

Such precious. Light Dragoons, 
Had but some weeks before forsaken 

Their stalls, and boards, and looms. 
Such Cavalry, God knows, our care 

Serv'd little to dispell ; 
For fitter were they crows to scare^ 

Than rioters to quell. 

Next came, of Leigh, the dashing corps^ 

All daubs at fighting reckoned ; 
Who, very pious, seldom swore 

Above ten oaths a second. 
Then, then began the warm campaign. 

Surpassing that in Flanders, 
As far, in deeds of martial fame^ 

As Tyne excels the Sambre. 

Of gallantry and skill displayed. 

In succouring Vulcan's sons, 
•What time ferocious Keelmen flay'd 

Their's and their dearie's bums. 
Of sheep devoured, and beer casks drain'd^ 

By horse and foot so bold, 
Whilst in the cause of spouts retained. 

What wonders might be told. 

But mine is not the Epic strain. 

Nor mine Heroic fire ; 
Of course, those deeds of deathless fame 

Belong not tb my lyre. 
Sufiice it, thtn, that storm blew by. 

Fair Peace on Gotham smil'd ; 
But soon, soon lour'd again the sky. 

And all was uproar wild. 

O Muse ! thy aid I humbly ask ^ 
Come^ help me to achieve. 



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189 

To wrest from dull oblivion's grasp 

Th' events of Sunday eve. 
O come, in tuneful verse disclose ' 

The consequetices great, 
When noble heels and plebeian toes 

In contact chance to meet. 

Header, if thou'rt a country clown. 

Some hedging, ditching blade. 
Great chance thou know'st what folk in town 

Mean by — a Grand Parade. 
Didst e'er, like pins on paper stuck, 

A regiment see display 'd ? 
Thou hast — why then how great thy luck ! 

Thou'st seen a Grand Parade. 

Such sights we Gothamites adore, 

And run in crowds to see ; 
At which, though often seen before. 

We gape and stare — like thee. 
And when the sport is at an end, 

A down the spacious street. 
Straight homewards we our courses bend^ 

Like droves of hogs or sheep. 

On Sunday eve, with heedless steps. 
Two wights thus wander'd home. 

One Jack, the other Will 'yclept- 
Alike to fame unknown. 

Onward they went, 'midst thousands more. 
And little did they mind, 

Or who might chance to walk before^ 
Or who to walk behind. 

Fate Fauconberg did near them guidcy 

To prove what man can do. 
When, flush'd with wine, his heart is void 

Of fear and prudence too. 



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190 

And now — ^fbr Fate had order'd so, 

His Lordship's noble heel 
The pressure of Jack's plebeian toe» 

Ye powers ! was doom'd to feeU 

His Lordship straight^ in angry moody 

Wheel'd suddenly about; 
And Will — who scarce the shock withstood* 

Encountered, snout to snout 
^' God d — ^n your blood!" his Lordship oied, 

*< You hound ! damnation seise you I" 
" What for ?" the simple wight replied ; 

•' What for, -my Lord, an* please youf *' 

My Lord it pleas'd not to explain. 

Unconscious of mistake ; 
But straight began Will's luckless fmme 

Most manfully to shake. 
Whilst Jack, who knew himself the cause 

Which mov'd his Lordship's wrath. 
Irreverent dar'd to stretch bis jaws. 

And burst into a laugh. 

Oh ! lost to shame, good manners^ grace 1 

Of decency all sense ! 
What ! laugh— laugh in an Earl's faoei 

Consummate impudence ! 1 J 
No wonder signs his Lordshjfyshew'd 

Of hydrophobic ire ; 
Nor that his noble visage glow'd 

Like some hot kitchen fire. 

Frantic with rage, dread things he vow'd. 
By fits bounc'd, stamp'd, and swore ; 

And much the vast surrounding crowd' 
He curs'd — the soldiers more. 

^' Go fetch the guml !" be madly i^Ottr'd, 
^' bounds! bid the trampetf sound i 



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191 

^' The mob put straightway to the sword ! 
*' Then fire the town around I" 

He spake — obedient to command 

*' To horse !" the trumpets sound ! 
The guard appears — a chosen band. 

And rang'd his Lordship round. 
Next came the officers, so bold. 

Their Leader's fate to share : 
The mob inereas'd a thousand fold. 

And tumult rent the air. 

It chanc'd just then a luckless cow. 

Who 'mongst the crowd had got, 
And, having forc'd her passage through. 

Before the Earl did stop. 
And then, in Cow- enquiring way. 

She gave a loud, loud rowt ; 
As tho' indeed, she meant to say, 

" Pray, ghat's all this about?" 

But Hall and Sterling, Ensigns fam'd. 

Mistook her language quite ; 
And thus the enquiring rowt explained, 

" Who dares with me to fight ?** 
Fond of achieving deeds of fame. 

Straight forth their rapiers flew$ 
And both the proffer'd combat claim'd. 

And both would fight the cow* 

Then fordi stept Hale, a smock-fae'd spark. 

As ere wore red coat gay : 
Much fitter he a Tailor's prt. 

Than Grenadier's to play. 
Forth did be step with martial stride. 

And bold, intrepid air ; 
And thus to Hall and Sterling cried, 

** Forbear ! my friends, forbear ! 



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192 

" To Fame already are you known, 

" By many a matchless feat ; 
*' Say, didn't you Robertson knock down, 

" And Whitfield soundly beat ? 
" And would you then, in Cow-blood base, 

*' Your valiant hands embrue ? 
" No, no, my lads, to me give pl^ce, 

" D— m me. Til fight the Cow!" 

Thus did the flower of Grenadiers 

Disclose his warlike mind ; 
And instantly his brave compeers 

To him the field resign'd. 
Then putting on the fiercest look 

His features would allow. 
His sword he from the scabbard took. 

And bold attack'd the Cow. 

And now, with store of hard dry blows 

Poor Mistress Cow he clatter'd ; 
And now her legs, ribs, back, and nose. 

Unmercifully batter'd. 
Bringing to mind that Earl, far fam'd. 

High Guy of Warwick bold. 
Who fought (and thereby glory gain'd) 

The Cow, in days of old. 

Whether it was that renown'd story 

Now set his soul on fire. 
Engendering thirst of kill-cow glory^ 

I stop not to enquire. 
Certain it is that gallant Hale, 

Exerted all his might. 
Until the four-legg'd foe turn'd tail. 

And fairly took to flight ! 

O, wlien on England's throne Pm set. 
As soon m likely be. 



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193 

Hale, pray thee, let me not forget 

To make a Knight of thee. 
Yes, valourous youth ! my sacred word 

I solemn pledge thee now. 
To dub thee then, with kingly sword. 

Knight of the rampant Cow. 

Mean while, with unabated ire. 

His Lordship's bosom glow'd. 
Impatient quite, with sword of fire, 

To extirpate the crowd. 
But ah ! the voice of law, abhorr'd, 

Restrain'd his noble will ; 
Thus whispering in his ear, " My Lord, 

" Remember Tower Hill !" 

At length, on capering steeds astride, 

Beaumont's Dragoons appear'd ; 
And much their look their hearts belied. 

If mortal foe they fear'd. 
A fine bold Ranger-looking breed. 

In truth they seera'd to be; 
As like Lord Dar'nton's corps, indeed. 

As pea is like to pea. 

With them off march'd the £arl, amain. 

And off the mob too hies ; 
And soon the Mansion-house they gain. 

To Yeilder's great surprize. 
Him thus- -when various " how d'ye do's," 

And " hope you're wells" were past. 
With divers scrapes and sundry bows. 

The Earl addressed at last. 

" I'm come to inform you. Mister Mayor, 

** Amongst yon roaring mob, 
" Certain damn'd Gothamites there are, 

** Who on my heels have trod. 



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** Nay, on my heels not Owljr trod, 

*' But at we laugh'd their fiU; 
" For which offence I mean, by G-*d T 

«' Forthwith the mass to kill." 

" Indeed, my Lord t I s^, my Lord !" 

Thus Yeilder quick reply'd, 
" You've been ill-us'd, upon my wdrd, 

" That— that can't be deny 'd: 
*' But — but, my Lord, in crowds^ yon know, 

'* With treads we eometittiet meet : 
" I'm sure I've often been aecv'd to, 

" Oft trod on in the aUreet." 

" Sir !'^ thus the Earl again did say, 

" I don't dispute your word ; 
*' But, ^m'me. Mister Yeilder, pray, 

'* Are you — a noUe Lord ?" 
" A Lord— my Lord ! who? I a Lord !'^ 

Thus Yeilder 'gan to staitnnet ; 
'' No, faith! not I — upon my Wolrd, 

*' I am — hem !«^hem !--4i Ti^mt i 

*' But — but a Tanner is a roan, 

" And — hem ! — a Tartner's heel, 
'' As well as any Noble's, can 

'' A painful pressure fbel : 
*' And with your Lordship to be brief, 

'' E'en tho' they'd made you &11, 
"' You Shan not put the mob to death*^ 

" No, dam'me if you ?hall !" 

Like some dread calm, when aspin leaf 

Is scarce perceiv'd to quiver. 
Ere yet the roering tempest's bxteath 

The oak's rtvong branches sluver: 
Such was of silence luiw the pauto. 

Which reign'd pOEteatous round. 



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Ere, bursting from his Lordship's Jaws,. 
The storm a passage found. 

At length, endangering Yeilder's ears. 

The thuadier 'gan to roll. 
When, lo ! an Aid-du-Camp appears. 

The tempest to controul : 
" Thus General Grant commands^ he cry'ct 

" Let heel commotions cease !" 
He said — mob^ soldiers homewards hied, 

Restor'd was Gotham's peace. 

THE HALF DROWNED SKIPPER. 

Air—" Chapter of Donkiet" 

TOTHER day up the water aw went in a boat. 
Aw brush'd up my trowsers, put on my new coat ; 
We steei'd up wor boat 'lang side of a keel. 
And the luiks of the Skipper wad frightened the Deel. 

Fol de rol, &c. 

So dunks aw, wi' the keel we'll gan a' the way. 
And bear s few wevda that the Skipper may say ; 
For aw was sure if ought in the keel was duen wsang. 
The Skipper wad curse, nye, and call every man. 

l^ol de rol, &c. 

Now we'd jast getten up to the fum'd Skinner's Bum, 
When the Skipper bawl'd out that the keel was to turn: 
Wye h« shouted saA roar'd like a roan hung in cbaina> 
And swore by the keel he wad knock out their brains. 

Fol de rol, &c. 

The little Tee-dee jumped about on the deck. 

And the Skipper roared out he wad sure smash his neck ; 

" What for ?" says the Pec-dee, "can one not speak a 

word?*^— 
So he cav him a kick— knocked him plump owerboard. 

Fol de rol, &c. 



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There wfL% nyen of the bullies e'er lost a bit tiai«. 
But flung their greet keel-huiks splash into the Tyne ; 
They brought up the Pee-dee just like a duck'd craw. 
And the Skipper^ wi' laughing fell smack ower an* a*. 

Fol de rol^ &c. 

Now the keelmen being tired of theu: skipper se brave. 
Not one e'er attempted his life for to save ; 
They hoisted their sail, and we saw no more, 
But the half-drowned Skipper was swimming ashore. 

Fol de rol, &c* 



THE NEWCASTLE WORTHIES. 

BY WM. ARMSTRONG. 
Air — *» We've aye been provided for." 

THE praises o' Newcassel awVe lang wish'd to tell. 
But now then aw'm determin'd to ha'e a right good 

spell. 
An' shew what noted kiddies frae Newcassel toon hes Bit, 
For it's a' wis been a canny place, an' sae will it yeL 

A chep, they call'd him Scott, he liev'd on the banks 

o' Tyne, 
Had a son, that i' the Government he wanted to shine ; 
By degrees the youth he rose up, now Lord Chancellor 

does sit. 
An' he's fiU'd his place reet brawly, aye an' sae will 

he yet. 

Of a' the fine Engravers that grace fine Lunnen toon, 
Wor Tom Ransom an* Bill Harvey bang a* that's up 

or doon: 
The praises frae the 'Cademy they constantly do get; 
Far their pieces they've got medals, aye an' sae wfll 

they yet. 



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,197 

For boxing tee, the Lunnen cheps we'll thresh them 

i' their turns ; 
Ony see what science he has laimt-— that noted chep, 

Jem Bums: 
Jem Wallace tee, wor champion, how Tommy Dunn, 

he hit ; 
But they both good ones ever were, an' sae will they 

yet 

A vast mair cfiver cheps we ha'e, o^ some aw'U let ye 

knaw; 
For a strong man, whe could beat Bold Airchy wi' his 

wondrous claw ; 
When six men tuik him in a boat, her bottom suen he 

split. 
An* the hiding that he ga'e them, they've not forgot it 

yet 

For fiddling tee, now whe is there wor Blind Willie can 

beat; 
Or for dancing whe before Jack Coxon e'er could set 

their feet. 
Cull Billy, only try him now, hell cap ye wi' his wit; 
He's truly wondrous, ever was, an' sae will he yet 

Bob Cruddace, ah, poor soul ! he's deed,-— he had a 

diver knack 
O* kepping beer, aye three yards off, when he "parish'd 

the pack!" 
An' Whin Bob 'bout the militia constantly does swet ; 
But by cunningness escaped them, aye an' sae will he 

yet 

Jack Nicholson, the noble soul, a deal o' breeding shows. 
Got a patent frae the King to splet sheep heads wi' 
his nose; 

M 



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The butchers fearing 6* disgrace, a job he ne'er cud 

get,— 
But the honour's e'er been vi' him, aye, an' sae will 

it yet. 

Of Fishwives, tee, that's i' wor toon, up to the present 

day, 
Euphy Scott she is prime minister to Queen Madgie 

Gray : 
The understrappers and descendants hear.it*s ony fit. 
That's she's rul'd the market as she lik'd, an' sae will 

she yet 

Captain Starkey, Pussey Willie, and poor Cuddy Reed, 
Lousy Donald an' au'd Judy, poor souls ! they've a' 

gyen deed : 
But, marrows, keep ye up your hearts, this is not the 

time to fret. 
For their memories ha' e'er been up, aye an' sae will 

they yet 



^n tj^e Coronotum. 

INVITATION to the MANSION-HOUSE DINNER 

IN HONOUR OF THE CORONATION. 
Air—" Scott wiia ha'e wi* WalUce bled." 

MEN who have with Mayors fed ; 
Men whom oft the Mace hath led ; 
Wdkome to your Beef and Bread, 

Come and feast to day. 
See yon Ox's buttocks lower ; 
See yon bags of pudding flower ; 
Shew your masticating power^ 

Teeth and Loyalty. 



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Who can*t eat is sure a knave; 
Send the scoundrel to his grave ; 
Who can't drink should be a slave ; 

Such we ne'er will be. 
Who for King and Country's Law 
Will cut away and stuff his maw^ 
Cans will drain^ and corks will draw. 

Brothers^ come with me. 

By what's worse tlian Slavery's chains^ 
Empty stomachs^ gripes^ and pains^ 
We'll eat and drink, until our veins 

Swoll'n like bladders be. 
See yon lumps of beef laid low. 
Puddings fall at every blow ! 
Wine in bumpers round shall flow : 

Brothers, look to me ! 

THE NEWCASTLE 

SWINEHERDS' PROCLAMATION. 

O YES I Ye swinidi Multkude ! 

To our Newcastle sties repair : 
Two whole fat beeves are bMrbecifd, 

So go and cram your gorges there. 

Your mouths will water at the sight ; 

The oose your unsfaav'd chops run down ; 
Your dirty sleeves away will dight 

The slobber of tobacco^brown* 

With cart-grease basted, dredg'd with dusf^ 
The outsides burnt, the insides raw^ 

Next to some tit bit carrion, must 
Delight a hog's voracious maw. 

Hey ! to the Pants, where dribbling wine 
And brewer's rot-gnt beer distil ; 
M 2 



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With speed let every greedy swine 
Swig what he can ! aye, swig his fill. 

Then, to your grov'ling nature true. 

Return to wallow in the mire ; 
And let the Corporate- body view 

The consummation they require.—- 

Swineherds expect the brutes that run 

To guzzle at their garbage feast, 
Should compensate, and make them fun ; 

So hogs come on and play the beast i 

^' And grunt, ye pigs, with savage joy« 
While stuffing full your craving maws. 

Nor care if staves your skulls annoy. 
But quickly move your greedy jaws. 

While guzzling down your wishy-wasb. 
Squeak loud with make-helieve affection; 

And in the puddle kick and splash. 
Nor shew one sign of disaffection. 

Then, all ye lordly herds, laugh loud. 
And shake your portly paunches fine ; 

Shew to your dames the rabble crowd,-— 
And having pray'd, retire to dine. 

Then tell how the voracious pigs. 
With greedy spite press'd to the trow. 

And gave each other loyal digs. 
Nor car'd for e'er a waddling sow. 

Next sagely argue o'er your wine. 
This crew, debas'd beyond compare, 

In fact and reason are true swine. 
Unlike Corinthian PHlars fair."* 
Pigsif/e Court, SandhiU, 12th July, 1821. 

* The Rich were called the ** Cerintiuan Pillars of Sociec j" 
by the pentioBer Burke ; while he termed tht indiutrioui dasKS 
the "Swiniih Multitude." 



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201 
THE GOLDEN HORNS; 

ORy THE GENERAL INVITATION. 

COME^ neighbours, to Robson's let's all hie away/ 
To see the Ox crowned with ribbons so gay : 
His horns are well gilded, his head bright does shine. 
We'll soon get a slice and a horn full of wine. 

Some come from afar, as did wise men of old. 
To see our King's head branched out thus with gold^ 
Success, then, to horns, when they're gilded so clever; 
May the *•** wear horns, and wear them for ever. 

In praise then of horns let all Newcastle sing ; 
For he who scorns horns, despises his ***♦. 
Let thena boast of their garters, and boast of their stars, 
But horns are far better than honours or scars. 

Never blush for your horns, then, though low be your 

station. 
Since horns are the pride of the Chief of our nation. 
Let them make Lords and Dukes, crown an Ass, if 

they will. 
The order of horns let it be my theme stilL 

LOYAL FESTIVITIES ! 

OR, NOVEL SCENES AT NEWCASTLE. 

A popular Song in the new Farce of the Coronation. 

As it was performed at Newcastle upon Tyne, 
on Thursday, July 1 9th. 1831. 

Sung by the " Swinish Multitude" in full Chorus. 

THE Castle guns were fir'd, and loud 

The bells rang in the morning, 
To wake the " Swinish Multitude," 

And give the public warning : 
M 3 



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Tiiat, " as in duty bouad/' the Mayor» 

And loyal Corporation^ 
Would cekbrate, in dvic state^ 

The day of C^'onation ! 

With matchless liberality. 

They suras «f money voted. 
That loyalty might be thereby 

Among the herd promoted : 
A feast would loyalize the brutes^ 

Upon this great occasion. 
And make them sing, God save the King ! 

At George's Coronation* 

Three royal fountains running beer. 

And one to dribble wine O, 
Would make them flock from far and near. 

To grunt like loyal swine O. 
Two bullocks roasted whole, 'twas thought. 

Would be a grand donation. 
To toss among the ** rabble rout," 

At George's Coronation ! 

'Twas done— the bullocks roasted were. 

The fountains set a flowing ; 
While Butchers round, upon the ground. 

Huge lumps of beef were throwing : 
The loyal swineherds looking on. 

In anxious expectation. 
To see each beast enjoy the feast. 

At George's Coronation 1 

But what was their surprize, to find 

The swinish Kerd refuse it ; 
How strange ! th^r tastes were so refined. 

No hog of sense would use it I 
Our Gentry now, the loyal few. 

Beheld, with c<»i8temation. 



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The scjanty stock of loyalty 
At George's Coronation ! ' 

They saw, with grief, the roasted beef 

By saucy swine neglected ! 
No grateful beast extoll'd the feast. 

Nor loyalty respected ! 
Their swinish nature sure is changed ! 

O ! what an alteration ! 
Time was when pigs would grunt and squeel, 

To grace a Coronation ! 

But ah ! the brutes display, at last. 

The faculty of Reason ! 
" The age of Chivalry is past V 

(Reflection most unpleasing!) 
And, sad to tell, with that is gone 

" Othello's occupation !" 
AH servile reverence for a throne. 

And priestly domination ! 

Then why display this make-believe 

Affection, and profusion ? 
Ye can no longer swine deceive. 

They see through the delusion. 
What then avails this pageantry. 

And useless ostentation ? 
What signifies your loyalty 

At George's Coronation I 

Had Derry-Down been on the spot. 

And view'd the scene before him. 
While beef, and bones, and bricks, like shot. 

Were flying in terrorem / 
He would have jstar'd, with wild affright, 

At such a consummation. 
And loudly damn'd the useless farce 

Of George's Coronation ! 



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Learn hence, ye Legislaton wise. 

Ye guardians of our treasures f 
The *' swini^ multitude" despise 

Your inconsistent measures : 
Think not that bayonets will gain 

The people's admiration ; 
Or fix a- Monarch &n the throne, 

fiy a mock Coronation ! 

PICTURE OF NEWCASTLE, 

OR GEORGE THE FOURTH'S CORONATION. 

BY WILLIAM MIDFORD. 

Second Edition — Corrected. 
T«n«— « Arthur M«Brid&" 

THE firing of guns, and the ringing of bells, 
Rous'd me from my dreams about magical spells ; 
So I'll draw you a sketch, as we're now by oursers. 

By way of an illustration : 
The roads to Newcastle were cover'd almost. 
As if Radical thunder* had summon'd its host. 
Or an enemy's fleet had been seen off the coast. 

On George the Fourth's Coronation. 

In the streets what a bus among sweethearts and wives 
And children who ne'er rose so soon in their lives ; 
All higgledy piggledy through other drives. 

To view what is in preparation. 
The oxen are roasting — outsides a mere crust; 
They're stuff'dwi' potatoes, and dredg'd well with dust^ 
While the turnspits were set as if working o' trust. 

On George the Fourth's Coronation. 

* Referring to the Public Meeting on the Town Moor, on the 
1 1th Oct. 1819, where (k was supposed) 100,000 were Assembled, 
to take into consideration the proceedings at Manchester. 



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I next went to view a Boat Race on the Tyne, 
For a blue silken flag skill and labour combine ; 
Gold sovereigns the prizes — to start about nine^ 

From Walker, with precipitation. 
The Greyhound c^me first, the old Sandgate-shore gig, 
"Which went as if chasing a hare, through the Brig. 
No doubt but the wives and the lasses were big^ 

On George the Fourth's Coronation. 

Then the Gentlemen walk'd in procession to church ; 
Not even Dissenters did lag in the porchi 
But boldly push'd on, amid ruffles and starch. 

To praise and to pray with the nation. 
The service being ended, the anthems are sung. 
The burnt sacrifice from each furnace is swung. 
When the fountains with wine and strong ale 'gan to run 

On George the Fourth's Coronation. 

Then a Female Procession, to heighten the scene. 
Paraded the streets, with a bust of the Queen ; 
When her title was placed where a crOwn should have 
been — 

Upon the crane top was its station. 
Then the Ox was beheaded, and held up to view. 
As if he'd done something qf Cato- street hue : 
A soldier that made his appearance did rue. 

On George the Fourth's Coronation. 

Then with squeezing and tearing began the dispute ; 
Some held by the Pant, and some grappled the spout. 
Till as drunk as a lord, and as wise as a brute. 

At this swine-feeding jollification. 
They drank out of hats, and old shoes, very keen. 
The fights they went round, quite amusing the scene ; 
While some, in mistake, drank " Success to the Queen V 

On George the Fourth's Coronation. 



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The battle grew hot, as they flung round the beef; 
Disgusted they sought no Commander in chief; 
The fires they demolished, while brickbats and beef 

Flew like rockets, in mad desperation. 
The Butchers, now thinking their lives very sweet. 
Soon threw down their gullies, and beat a retreat ; 
Not wishing to die, just like dogs, in the street. 

On George the Fourth's Coronation. 

Upon the Sandhill, -where the fountain ran wine. 
The keelmen, quite eager to taste of the vine. 
Had the Crown taken down, which was thrown in the 
Tyne, 

So fix*d was their determination. 
There one, tho' stripp*d naked, so great was his drouth. 
Made a new fashion'd sun-dial, pointing due south. 
When the ladies at five of the clock set their month. 

On George the Fourth's Coronation. 

Among the arrivals at Mansion-house gates. 

Were the bones of the oxen, the spits, and the grates. 

With a keelman, in petticoats, scratching his pate. 

For a suit from our rich Corporation. 
Had the Den* been but open, the people might say. 
For Kill-pudding Joe, and the buiiiies of prey,t 
This sunshine would brought a fine *' harvest of bay," 

On George the Fourth's Coronation. 

NEWCASTLE IN AN UPROAR, 

OR GEORGE THE FOURTH'S CORONATION. 
X Air—" Come under my plaidie.** 

Jockey, my friend, raun, how last you this evening ? 
Come in, crook your hough, and let's hear all your news; 
It appears to me you have been tramping this morning, 

1 see by the dust that's so thick on your shoes. 

* The House of Correctioii. f Police officers. 



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I hftve been a trampinf , Pve been at Newcastle^ 
All the things I have seen there my mem'ry can't bring; 
The folks from all parts have rais'd such a noration. 
About the Coronation of Geordy the King. 

The first thing I saw was two fires for the bullocks— 
They hung them both down as it struck twelve at night; 
But lang ere day- light was come in on the morning. 
Both stuffing and 'tatoes were burnt in their kites. 
They turnM them on spits till they're burnt like .two 

cinders. 
And cut them both up about twelve of the day ; 
As they lay on the stages they smoak'd just like tinder. 
And look'd like two muck heaps, the people did say. 

Then thecarvers set to with knivescutting and scraping. 
And lumps of fat beef wiih such vengeance were strew'd, 
I dare say they thought that the folks were all gaping. 
And bejiiev'd they were feeding a swine multitude. 
But the stuff they threw out put the folks in a fury. 
Both stones and brick-bats they snatch'd up in a rage; 
And a radical troop, thus equipped in a hurry^ 
With vengeance bang'd carvers and beef off the stage. 

For the folkbeing deterroin'd, the beef would not handle. 
Nor gobble it up, like a stye full of swine ; 
For their conscience did whisper it would be a scandal : 
So the stuff was refused by the sons of the Tyne. 
The next thing I saw was a British young sailor. 
He puird the crown down from the top of the crane ; 
Altho' with brick-bats he got many a nailor. 
Yet he stuck up a label concerning the Queen. 

This bill being put up set the crowd in a motion, 
Thev gave three times three when first it was seen ; 
And loudly did praise the brave tars qf the ocean. 
Who fought in defence of their much injur'd Queen. 



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208 

These things being done, it rais'd such a dardem. 
The stones and the brick-bats flew up like a cloud r 
A poor Tyne Cossack, that belong'd to Tom Burdon, 
Was near crushed to death as he fought with the crowci 

That day in the town was heard no sound of bugles^ 

And Bold Arohy, he too was ne'er seen iv a ; 

For if that but once he had brought down the NcxKlles, 

They'd been trod under foot like a bundle of straw. 

For so bold are the men about canny Newcassel, 

No injustice they'll suffer when assembled a' : 

If the King had been there he'd ne'er worn his gold 

tassel. 
And as to being crown'd, that would ne'er done iv a. 

The things that were flying appear'd like a battle ; 
So, afraid of being fell'd, as I stood by the folks, 
I on shanky nagie away straight did rattle. 
To drag down the street the black bones of the ox. 
When I came to the Sandhill my eyes I got open'd, 
I saw something standing which brightly did shine ; 
A large wooden Pant, and a crown on the top o't : 
When I came to look close it was running red wine. 

The folk that were round it appear'd to be growling 
And fighting amongst it, like as many cats ; 
While others I saw among mud and dirt rolling. 
And drinking the wine out of old lousy hats. 
Thinks I to myself, this is ,all botheration. 
It is but a pretext, I know by their scheme. 
To pump out what's left of the wealth of the nation. 
To swell the fat bags of the Clergy and King. 

The next thing I saw that took up my attention. 
Was a keelman quite nak'd ! he'd no breeches iv a' ; 
Some said, he, for fighting, deserv'd well a pension, . 
But I think that he ought to've been tried by the law. 



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The wives that were ranning fell o'er, tappy lappy. 
Town sergeants the keelmen did pelt well with glare ; 
And swore, if they could b4t catch Tripy and Cappy, 
They would tear them to rags at the end of the war. 

Then I by this time nigh got into a quarrel ; 

I argued, but could not the battle decide ; 

So dreading some person might tear ray apparel^ 

I took my departure unto the Quayside. 

In going down the Quay there was such a crushing, 

I met with a man of the name of Tom Dale, 

He said, into Sandgate the folks were all pushing, 

For the Pant on the hill there was running strong ale* 

When I got to Sandgate I could not help laughing. 
The (asses were running about with the swipes ; 
And old wives that fell in the gutter were scruffling. 
Ne'er minded but smok'd on their short cutty pipes. 
I next took my journey as far as the 'Spital, 
To see if aught curious was there to be seen ; 
But I think that from Sandgate it differed little. 
For the folks were all drinking the health of the Queen. 

I went to an alehouse, and nearly got fuddled. 
For with walking about sae my legs were quite lame ; 
So on my old pins then away I straight toddled. 
And ne'er look'd behind me, but tramp'd away hame. 
At Newcastle there have been both horse and boat races 
I have droll things to tell you, if I had but time ; 
But having to call at some more bits of places. 
On some other day I will finish my rhyme. 

CORONATION DAY AT NEWCASTLE. 

UPON the nineteenth of July 

The Castle guns did rend the sky, 

St. Nicholas' bells did briskly ring. 

And George the Fourth was crown'd our king ; 

But those possess'd of feelings fine 

Will ne'er forget that day on Tyne* 



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For days, within the 'Spital green. 
In ribbands deck'd were Bullocks seen. 
And on their horns a royal crown, 
Totnock some Cuckold of renown : 
And all/ whose thoughts agree with mine. 
Will say, he's nearer Thames than Tyne. 

Humanity, with pitying gaze. 
Beheld the victims fondly graze 
Round the infernal furnace pile, ' 
Where one was shortly doom'd to broil. 
Purposed to feed the humble swine 
That dwelt upon the banks of Tyne. 

Blush, ye great Rulers of the town. 
Behold your nauseous, loathsome boon ! 
See men, with manners more discreet, 
Disgusted, spurn your beastly treat ! 
And know, all you who term us swine. 
That Reason rules the sons of Tyne. 

Give heed, to this, Worshif^ul Mayor, 
Tho' we're reduc'd by taxes bare. 
Our British bosoms still contain 
Hearts sound as his wjth golden chain ! 
May Freedom's rays, which brighter shine. 
Adorn each manly breast on Tyne. 

It adds but little to your praise. 
To see your lavish, wasteful ways. 
To see a keelman, from his huddock. 
Within your wine trough wash his buttock. 
Which ne'er before was drench'd in wine. 
But often plung'd in coaly Tyne. 
What did your wilful waste avail ? 
Your fountains running wine and ale ? 
The bronzed dome, the glitt'ring crown, 
I'om by an enrag'd people down ? 



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Who chee^riitg hail'd Queen Caroline, 
Borne by the blooming fair on Tyne. 

What would an untaught Heathen said. 
To see such brutal scenes display'd ? 
Is this the land, he would reply. 
That teaches Christianity ? 
Such might suit yon wild shores of mine, 
But shames Great Britain and the Tyne. 

The money wasted on the ground, 
Had it been wisely dealt around 
Amongst the needy poor, half-starv'd— 
A thousand pounds would thousands served : 
Extravagance was their design. 
Who rule Newcastle upon Tyne, 

CORONATION THURSDAY. 

July 19th. 1821. 

BEING THB THIRD* EPISTLE FROM BOB FUDGE TO HIS 
COUSIN BOB IN THE COUNTRY. 

DEAR Bob, a sad outlaw at length Fm become. 
The Tories despise me, the Whigs glump and gloom^ 
And scowl as they pass, which is something uncivil. 
And the Radicals treat me as I would the devil ; 
And threaten, the next time I make my appearance. 
To scourage me completely, with Christian forbearance. 
This threat from a party, who ever would bawl 
For liberal discussion, is worst of them all ; 
As my writings Fm sure must be wondrous offences. 
When sucli men are talking about consequences. 

• The first Epistle, " Radical Monday,** a satirical description 
of the Town Moor great Meeting on the 11th. Oct. 1819. — 
The second Epistle (unpublished) "Radical Thursday and Whig 
Wednesday,** on the public Meetings held in Newcastle, on 
those dayS) for addressing the Queen, 3ec. 



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312 

But, whether the head of the Noodles appear^ 
Or Lambton, or Tjrpo^ with sword or with spesur^ 
To blunt their sharp edges at once on my nob, 
I'm determin'd to write to my own dearest Bob. 

The Pedlar's descendant* may boast in the field. 
And the Earl of the North with reluctancy yield. 
While Cartwright an excess of freedom may claim-— 
Perhaps they're all right, since they all are to blame. 
The Radicals want more than Reason would crave. 
They all would be kings, without ever a slave ; 
And that, my dear Bob, you know never can be-— 
And as for the Whigs they love stones more than me. 

I dare not maliciously think of the Tory, 
Nor envy his pudding, the Englishman's glory- 
He's in, and he's right, and his place is worth kbeping. 
No wonder he wishes John still to be sleeping ;— 
And though from state coffers his wages be t^en. 
He'd better be paid than the office forsaken. 
Without Kings and Clergy, and Commons and Peen, 
Together the people would be by the ears ; 
Equal rights, equal liberties, who would not brave. 
Lest an excess of freedom prove Liberty's grave. 
We've the use of our fingers, our tongues, and our 
eyes. 
How then are we fetter'd ? the good Tory cries ; 
And as for the taxes, Judge Bay ley can prove 
They're the source of our welfare, the things we sboold 

love. 
Since the d^ys of king Solomon, that wise man of yore. 
All kings have had wisdom and riches in store : 
And Britain, sublimely renowned in story. 
Has becojne of the world th' admiration and glory. 
By the help of our kings, and prime minister Pitt, 
Whose names are a match for Uie Radicals yet. 



* Lord Castlereagh. 



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21S 

But stop—* to amuse thee I'll give a relation 
OF the sighu I beheld at the King's Coronation ; 
Which partly convincM me that infidels reign. 
Since the head of the church met such hoggish disdain* 

The morning was fine when the boats came in sight. 
And cannons re-echoed the Tories delight—- 
Sandgate heroes hueza'd, till the news, so provoking, 
Convinc'd them the watermen only were joking. 
" What a d — n'd shame ! (cried Archy) such prizes, 

and never 
** A man lying breathless or drown'd in the river ! 
"No squabbling, no fighting, no boats sunk-»damnation! 
** They're fit men to row at a king's Coronation !" 

Then from the Quayside to the Sandhill I wander*d. 
And smil'd to behold money foolishly squandered : 
A pant rising splendidly, gilded and crown'd, 
To run with good wine, in the centre was found. 
And fronting St Nicholas a black roasted beast. 
And another in Spital-field, bespoke a grand feast 
Three pants to run ale— 'twas a glorious sight 1 
Two cranes and two scaffolds — the butchers' delight 

From Church now the Mayor and his company ride. 
And Bab with the Queen, at the foot of the Sid^, 
Hoisted high on a pole, with a crown on her head— 
(And her effigy more than the devil they dread) 
The crowd was so dense, and the shouts so astounding. 
And nothing but Radical whiskers surrounding ; , 
Which made it becoming to bow to the Queen^ 
Though a damnable blot on their loyalty, I ween ! 
lieleas'd, they drove gently, their plans to fulfil. 
By drinking the king's health upon the Sandhill. 
But, to their misfortune, round where it was plac'd. 
The crowd was so furious no Tory could face't ; 
And high on the gilded dome stqod a rude fellow. 
With the crown on his head ! — people said he was mel- 
low: 

N 



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2U 

But I took hifti td be sotii^ bftse Rudiaal bod j. 
Who #ith'd folk to think that the king was a noddy* 
For at the mock gestures of kingly demeanor. 
The people baitrd loudly, and bow'd to his honour ; 
While many among them cried« Pull the knare down! 
Such a bad drnnken fellow's not fit for a crown ! 
He's ad good, quoth a keelman^ and blew like a poi^ims. 
As the London Mogul, who can drink, wh — e> and rob 

us. 
So near was the danger, the Mayor swoon'd away ; 
But Ardiy, more bold, as they pranc'd round the fray, 
to hh comrades cried softly, (but not till past catch- 

" What treasonable stuff those datan'd Radicals are 

hatching ! 
" D'^ye see what a mes9 they have made of the crown, 
" Go call out the soldiers to pull yon knave down." 
*' Drive on,'' qudth the Mayor, by this time come ab^iit, 
" There's no timie to talk while the PhiUstines are 

out." 
More furfoifs grew Archy, as nearer he drew 
The den of corruption, with th' Noodles in view. 
" Feteh the doldfen, I say^ let the streets swhn widi 

blood! 
'' See the ei^own is insulted^ and all that is good. 
" When erected this morn, what a sight to behold ! 
" 'Twas velvet and ermine, and cover'd with g«}^ ! 
'' 'Tis saeiilege ! treason ! hell groans at the sight! 
" Feidtk the soldiers, and put the mad rabble to flight : 
'' We crown'd it, and Ibrni'd it to dribble with wine^ 
" That the King's health, when drank, might be cheer'd 

by the swine ; 
*' And shall we be bet while we've soldiers ta guard 

" No, call them out quickly t-— he King wiH reward ua^" 

As he finished the sentence, the crown got a fidl, 
And rapturous delight animated them all. 



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V7hat savag^ bai^iiriariflf those Endi^ B,t6 grown,* 
To laugh at thcf fall'of a beautiful crown ! 
'Twas time for the Mayor and poor Archy t6 fly 
From th& radical scene to the loyal f^g^stye. 

To St. Nicholas' square then I posted away, 
Where Typof'a high window peep'd over the fray ; 
And sHch an Ox roasting was there to be seen ! 
\Twas a bad loyal meeting for all but the Queen. 
The crowd was immense, and their spirits were high,' 
To honouT his Majesty no one durst try. 
The scaffold with tipstaves and butchers was dad. 
Who blaruied poor folks, ififaat fine morsels they hud:; 
And holding the head up, began to huzza, 
But a volley of hisses and groans drown'd their jatv: 
Though, Thistlewood like, it was something uncivil. 
For the head wearing liorns.was as black as the devilr 

St. Nicholas peaVd otit as the hisses began, 
And seero'd to say,- " Loyal bucksv do what you«can T* 
As fast as the butchers the coHops threw out, 
The people returh'd them with many a shout.^ 
And many a fat lump loyal wkisk^s besffiear'd. 
Till brick-bats and fat chops the slaughter stage cleared. 

A crown thstt losk'd lovely, and honour'd the crane, 
Caird forth, beyond measBre, the public disdain ; 
The brick- flying tempest redoubled hs terror. 
And many a poor Tory'* heart trembled with horror. 
An Officer* vent'ring imprudently near^ 
Received the same fatte as the Coach in the rear ; 
So high .wits the itadical sentiment tow'ring. 
That public expression was past all enduring. 

In vain flew the bricks, save to knock people down. 
For the Tories were fled, aind too faist was the crown ; 



* A iniHtary tiltttt on bdrsc^ack in the crowd at the time 
the Mail Coath passed, decorated in honour of tfce Coronation, 
was, t<^€th€f with the Coach, pelted by the populace. 

N 2 



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S16 

At length a bold Ta^, in the midst of the frajv 
Mounted swiftly, and tore the gilt bauble awajr ; 
And put in its place, which was fair to be seen^ 
" The Queen that Jack lov'd>" and cried, " God savr 

the Queen V 
Then off went their hats, and abroad went the roar. 
And shook tlie glass windows along the Tyne shore. 
The mangled black carrion was knock'd from the stage. 
And dragg'd round the town with republican rage. 
Till deposited sa^ly i' th' Mansion-house yard. 
Where Archy Mac Syc. is the master black-guard r 
Frdm whence, in accordance with Archibald's wish. 
It was sunk in the Tyne — to make broth for the fish. 
So that Radical bodies were highly to blame. 
When they sung their pig sonnets, and cried out, *'For 
shame!" 

A few drunken felbws the ale-pants surrounded. 
And fought for the rvish-fBash till nearly half drowned. 
But when the wine dribbled beneath the Exchange, 
The people were furious, and sought for revenge. 
By drinking '* The Queen !" with astounding del%bt. 
While th' fine folks above them grew pale at the sight. 
But to see a nak'd man holding fast by the spout. 
Made the sanctified ladies huzza, clap, and shout. 
" Fight away, pigs, (quoth Archy) you make usfine fnn!'^ 
But when the pant suffered he altered hi» tune. 

In Spital-field loyalty had no more boast. 
For the. Queen ruled the heart, and the people the roast 

Poor Anvil* disgrac'd himself, some people say. 
To ask the Mayor leave on the Race Ground to pray ; 

«^ An Independent Methodist Preacher, who, forgetting the 
commission of his Divine Master to preach the Gospel, even on 
the highways and hedges, applied in vain to the Mayor, for 
leave for himself and brethren to hold a camp meeting on the 
Town Moor. The worthy Magistrate objected, on the ground 
of injuring the imUrtst* of the ** church as by law established i* 



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917 

In fact, after such a deed I should not wonder 

fitit they'll sneak and ask leave^ till oblig'd to knock 
under. 
What a ** punch"-loving people! in less than an hour. 

To see Lambton's horse, they were all on the Moor; 

But vex'd that their favourite's courser should lose^. 

They caf d not to stay till the Races might close. 
Returning at length like a tempest they came^ 

(Which bursts upon Cheviot, and sets it on flame) 

And leveird the pants with the spoil of the day^ 

While a Radical gave them a touch of his lay. 

In vain the peace officers handled their staves^ 

And entreated the crowd to submit like good slaves; 

'Twas the liead of the church who created the day. 

And salvation attended a loyal display ! 

But passive obedience was basely rejected. 

And the head of the church very little respected ; 

Which made Archy again for the horse soldiers shbut, 

So anxious he seem'd for a Manchester rout; 

But, thank their good stars, they got free from the la- 
bour 

Of drawing their whittles to hamstring a neighbour. 
In its socket was sinking the Radical taper. 

Ere snugly the mighty ones sat down to supper. 

It cost them two thousand, I mean th' Corporation ; 

What a round sum, dear Bob, for a king's Coronation ! 

But surely I need not the money begrude. 

For the tight chai-ni'd the heart of thy cousin, 

BOB FVDGE. 



or, more properly speaking, the interestt -of tbe ettablithed 
Clergy* Anvil ii alio celebrated by Bob Fudge, in hit First 
£pi»it<, entitled *< Radical Monday,*' at one of the orators at 
the Town Moor great meeting on the 11th October, 1819. 

N S 



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^\9 

ON THS 

ATTEMPT to REMOVE the CUSTOM HOUSE 
from Newcastle to Shields, in 181.^. 

THE CUSTOM HOUSE BRANC«. 

TYNESIDERS, give ear, and you quickly sliajl bear 

A strange and a wonderful story. 
Of a dreadful uproar, upon fara'd Gotham's fihpre^ 

Where we've brush'd all to heighten our glory. 

On the the Quayside, so spruce, stands a gr«at Cttstem 
House, 

Of Newcastle the pride and birth- rigiit; 
Now the sons of Go-thani had sworn o'er a dram. 

That to Gotham it soon should take flight. 

A townsman they sent, on great .dieeds fully beat, 

A son of tlie knife and the st;^el, Sirs ; 
And one learn'd in the laws, to argue their jC^^j^e, 

The .covenants to sign and to se^al. Sirs. 

To London they came, through the high road to fanej^ 
Their hearts were both merry and staunch : 

Of success confident, to the Treasury they went. 
And demanded they might have a brancfi ! 

False repqrt (only gness) brought to Cothasi success. 

Rejoicing, they blaz'd, without doubt ; 
'Great Borne,' they now saj, 'was not built in one day; 

' We've the Branch, and we'll soon have the Root!' 

While their thoughts were thus big, over Newcastle brig 

The Mail came one day, in a hurry : 
' What's the news ?' say the folk; quic]k a • Briton up 
spoke, 

' No Branch !— so Newcastle be merry.' 



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319 

' No Braiich !- waBthe cry, re-ecl^oed the sky^ 

And 6€nt down to ^Sothatn a volley ; 
Where the prospect is Lad/for 'tis fear'd |J|ey']l run mad. 

Or relapse into sad melancholy. 

So Gotham beware, and no more lay a snare. 
Nor think that Newcastle you'll bend ; 

Call your advocates honoe, your cause to bemoan. 
And let each his own calling attend. 

QUAYSIDE DITTY, for February, I8I6. 

AH ! what'ji yor news the day, Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor? 
Ah ! what's yor news the day, Mr Mayor ? 

The folks of Sheels, they say. 

Want wor Custom House away. 
And ye canna say them nay, Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor, 

And ye canna say them nay, Mr Mayor. 

But dinna let it gan, Mr Ma^or, Mr Mayor, 
Or ye'U ruin us tiv a man, Mr Mayor : 
* They say a Branch 'ill dee. 
But next they'll tyek tlie Tree, 
And smash wor canny Kee, Mr Mayc«r, Mr Uuy^Tf 

And smasbi &c. 
For ah ! they're greedy dogs, Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor, 
They'd grub us up likf hogs, Mr Mayor : 
If the Custom House they touch. 
They wad na scruple much 
For to bolt wor very Hutch, Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor, 
For to Mt, &c. 

Before it be owre lang, Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor> 
Then ca* up a' yor gang, Mr Mayor : 

Yor Corporation chiels. 

They say they're deep a$ Deilp, 
And tbey h^te thefolk ol Sheels, Mr Maypr, Mr Mayor, 
And they hate, &c 



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220 

Ah t get wor Kee^side Sparks, Mr Mayor, Mr Major, 
Wor Fitters and their Clerks, Mr Mayor, 
1 To help to bar this stroke, — 
For, faicks, they are the folk 
That canna bide the joke, Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor, 
That canna bide, &c. 

And egg wor men of news, Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor, 
Wor Mercury and Hues, Mr Mayor, 

Wi' Solomon the wise. 

Their cause to stigmatize. 
And trump won to the skies, Mr Mayor, Mr Maycnr, 
And trump « ors, &c. 

How wad we grieve to see, Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor, 
The grass grow on the Kee, Mr Mayor ? 

So get the weighty prayers 

Of the porters in the chares. 
And the wives that sell the wares, Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor 

And the wives, &c. 
A Butcher's off frae Sheels, Mr Mayor Mr Mayor, 
Wi' the Deevil at his heels, Mr Mayor : 

Faicks, all the way to Lunnin, 

Just like a Strang tide runnin. 
And ah he's deev'lish cunnin, Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor, 

And ah ba*s, &c. 
But Nat*8 as deep as he, Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor, 
Send him to Lunnin tee, Mr Mayor : 

He has wit, we may suppose, 

Frev his winkers tiv his toes. 
Since the Major pull'd his nose, Mr Mayor, Mr Majcn*, 

Since the Major, &o. 
And send amang the gang, Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor, 
AiRM — ^what d'ye ca' him— Strang, Mr Mayor ; 

Ah I send him, if ye please. 

The Treasury to lease. 
Hell tell them heaps o' lees, Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor, 
He'U tell them, ^ 



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2S1 

If the Sheels folk get the day, Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor, 
Ah, what will Eldon say, Mr Mayor ? 

If he has time to spare. 

He'll surely blast their prayer. 
For the luve of his calf Chare, Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor, 
For the luve. Sec. 

Then just dee a' ye can, Mr Mayor, Mr Mayor, 
And follow up the plan, Mr Mayor, 

Else, faicks, ye'll get a spur 

In your Corporation fur. 
And ye'U plant at Sheels wor Bur I ! I Mr Mayor, 

Mr Mayor, 
And ye'll plant at Sheels wor Bur III Mr Mayor. 



THE CUSTOM HOUSE TREE, &c. 

Tune— «• The Quayside Shayer." 

YE folks of Newcassel, so gen'rous, advance. 

And listen a while to my humourous strain ; 
'Tis not the fag end of a fairy romance. 

Nor yet the effect of a crack in the brain : 
'Tis a Custom-house Tree, that was planted with care. 

And with Newcassel Int'restwell dung'dwas its Root; 
And that all Water Fowls might partake of a share. 

They were kindly permitted to taste of the Fruit. 

The Sea Gulls of Shields sought a Branch, so apply'd 

To a stately old Drake, of the fresh water breed : 
He fluttered his wings, then he bade them provide 

A Memorial, to send off* to London with apeed. 
His pow'rful opinion was soon put in force. 

And messengers chose, who, without more delay. 
Took flight ; while blind Ignorance guided their course. 

And Siey roosted, I'm told, about Ratcliffe Highway. 



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?a2 

Mieanwhile, with impatience^ a Gall took hi^ glasff. 

And with anxious concern took asquint to the south ; 
If I don't now behold (may you prove me i|n ass) 

A Gull flying baek with a Branch in its mouth. 
They news quickly spread; they, in wild consternatiG% 

Burnt t4r barrf^ls, bells ringing, dancing for joy ; 
A person was sent for to plan the foundation, 

While others drank Mrs Carr's wioe cellar dry. 

There was one, half seas oyer, sang ' Little Tom Horner^ 

While some in the streets, on their bellies lay fiat ; 
Another, 'pon tvirnmg the Library Corner, 

Ran foul of a quaker, and knock'd off his b^t. 
A f^ill brandy bottle pame smack through a window^ 

And hit on the temple a canty old wife ; 
•'Don't murmur,*' say they,*' were you burnt to a cinder, 

'' W^'re able to grant you a pension for li^'-' 

Their Gull-ey at London, o'er pudding and roast. 
Would bet heavy odds he should fortunate b^ ; 

And then after dinner propos'd, as a toast, 

'*That Grass might soon grow upon Newcassel Kee." 

But the Treasury decision laid vap'ring aside ; 

" No Branch !" was the cry, so away ijie Gulls slunk: 

Should a Twig be lop*d off, it c^in ne'er be ^eny'd. 
But the roots would soon dry, and thus witl^erits tr^nk• 

So now I've a scheme, if your fancy I hit, 
* 'Twill suit crazy folks, after dancing mad reels ; 
Instead of a Custom-house Branch, 'twou'd be fit 
That a Branch from the Mad4ioBie be reared in 
North Shields. 
We'll laugh at the joke, whiile experience laair learn 

The Gulls, for the li|tuve, io peace Co renain. 
By what you bave keard, y«u may als* diaoecn. 
That premature ^*n the fiprerunner joi pnou 



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THE CUSTOM HOUSE BRANCH. 

Tune—" Y6 heave O." 

THE joyous men of North Shields their church bells 
set a ringing sweet. 
And tar-barrels blaz'd/tjieir high rapture for to shew; 
Like bears some fell a dancings like ravens some were 
singing sweet, 
' Poor Jack/ * Rule Britannia,' and ' Yo heave O/ 
Some grog were freely quaffing. 
Like horses some were laughing ; 
Their matchless powers in bellowing all eager fiieein*4 
to shew : 
The Branch, they cried, we*ve got. 
And with it, well we wot. 
Fitters, bankers, iherchants, soon will fojlow m a row. 

The Newcastle deputation, po dou):>t on't, siH^agger'd 
much. Sir, 
Expecting our Pillgarlicks soon foiled would have 
been ; 
But too hard for them all prov'd the diplqqnatic Butcher, 
Wl^ose lopguie, lik^e his guliy- knife, is nMuryiellausly 
keen. 
S|iit^ pf wheedling f^nd of sneering. 
Bamboozling and queering. 
He to his purpose stuc^ 90 £rm, so true, und 10 slaundi. 
The Town Clerk and bis chuip«. 
Stood whisdpig on their tjuirnb^, 
Astonish'd, wtPpt triumphantly he bore ew#y the 
Breach. ^ 

And now since the Custom House we thus hay^ got 
translated. 
Why longer shoul'd the County Courts Newcastle 
proudly grace? 
We wise-ones of North Shields, tho' reckon* d addle paied. 
For this pile so magnificent we'll find a fitter place. 



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224 

Yon space* which 's skill. 

Seems destin'd ne'er to fill 
With structures worthy Athens' or Corinth's proudest 

Yon space I O is it not C^y »l 

The very, very spot 
Where the County Courts their splendour so massive 
should display ? 

If once our gen'ral committee determine^ in full quorum 

The removal of our Courts, the result will folly shew^ 

That the Lords of the Treasury, and Custos Rotulorum, 

(Our high displeasure dreading) will not dare to whis« 

And when the whim im pells, \j^^ ^<h 

To eclipse the Dardanelles ; 
The old Castle of its ancient site shall strughtway take 
its leave, 

To brave the billows' shocks. 

On the dread Black Midden rocks. 
However for ks transit Antiquarians sore may grieve. 

I'hen conies the grand finale, for which our souls we'd 
barter now ; 
The Regent and his ministers we'll pester night and 
day. 
Till transferr'd to us Newcastle sees her revenues and 
charter too. 
And from Heddon streams to Tynemouth Bar« Tyne 
owns our sovereign sway. 
O when our town so famous is. 
Big as Hippopotamuses, 
We'll strut about the Bank Top quite semi-divine ; 
The neighbouring coasters all. 
Our greatness shall appall. 
And their top-sails straight they'll lower to the lords of 
the Tyne. 

• The New Market Place; 



n. 



225 

'Twas thus with idle rumours poor gentlemeii delighteJ, 
The honest men of North Shields to fancy gave the rein ; 
Sad proof that when ambition with folly is united. 
Astonishing chimeras oft occupy the brain. 

But soon their joy was banish'd. 

Soon each illusion vanish'd> 
For news arrived the Butcher the Branch could not 

Deep, deep in the dumps, [[obtain. 

(After playing all his trumps) 
Just as branchless as he went he was ' toddling hyem* 
again. 

Newcastle, thou dear (ianny Town ! O ever thus de- 
feated 
Be every hostile effort thy prosperity to shake ; 
Long grumbling to thy Custom-house, in gigs and 

coaches seated, 
May the honest men of North Shields their daily jour- 
And, mounted on their hacks, [[nies take. 

Long, long too, may the- Jacks 
Continue their equestrian skill on Shields road to dis- 
I'ho' oft their tits may stumble, Uplaj ; 

And o'er the hows they tumble. 
Unhurt, still bold, may they remount, and onward 
bowl away. 

Newcastle men, rejoice ! O haste, on this occasion, 

With many a jovial bumper our whistles let us wet. 
Lord Eldon, with Sir William Scott, and all our depu- 
tation. 
To toast, with acclamations due, O let us not forget; 
To them our thanks be tender'd. 
Good services they've render'd. 
And let us hope, in after times, should Branch wars rage 
In Newcastle 'twill be found, [!^ain> 

Such men do then abound. 
The commercial pre-eminence still boldly to maintain. 



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236 
BOB FUDGE'S POSTSCRIPT 

To his Account of the great Town Mdbt M^Mttf^, 
on Monday, 1 Ith. October, 1819^ 



SINCE the Meeting, dear Bob, many things have come 

out, 
Whicli in Gotham have made a most damnable rcmt : 
Mister Mayor at a trifle does not seem to stick. 
With the Rads* he*s been playing Sir Arcky Mac Stfc,^ 
While Sidmouth he's cramm'd with some Green Bag 

Supplies^ 
Which — alas ! for his Worship — have turn'd otit all lies! 
A 6tark staring Parsan,f to add to the store, 
A budget has sent to the Noble StrMhmor^ / 
And some other Arch Wag, whom all gralce has forsook, 
A ikumper has palm'd on A great Northern Dake ! 
Sir Matt, too, so lately the ptide of iht Tyne, 
Against poor old Gothai^ did also combi^ ; 
By supporthig Bold Arohy's most libellous letter. 
He has added another strong link to tji« fetter ! 
The rivet he's clos'd, which no mortal can sever. 
And set n^w's the ** bright Star of tiealon^' fdr e?«j ! 
But let him beware — for " a Rod is in piekle," 
Which, sooner or later, '* his Toby wiU tickle !" 

B<>th the Houses have rung with the dfirefitl alarms, 
Of the Rads onl the Tyne And the Wear being in arms ; 
*Ti8 all a sly hoax — the Alarmiits alarming, 
For there's ndt the least ^mptom of Risirig or Arming I 



* The Radicals, or real Reformer!. 
f i^arson Bl— k — ^n. 



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227 
TO THE INDEPENDENT FREE BURGESSES 

of NE^CAStLBl tTP^ON TYNfi. 
Writien previous to the General MlectioHi ih 1896. 
Tune — ^** Fairly shot of her." 
Free: Burgesses, now is your time to stand firm and free. 
Spurn all attempts at corruption and bribery, — 
Your franchise elective uphold fair amd hon'rably, 
Weigh their worth well, -and yotir Members droose 

cautiously : 
Oiiard yoar best rights, lads, with honour and braVery, 
Let not your voices be shackled in slavery ; 
Independence unfold on your banners triumpbatitly, — 
Stand or fall ! oh ! be freemen! deluded no longer be. 

The members you've had, let their conduct now can« 

vass'd be. 
Judge of their claims by their former utility ; 
And shew proud Sir M w, whose motto's ' No 

rivalry r 
That his seat he sha'nt claim as a right hereditary. 
In what has this town to Sir M— -w indebted been ? 
For years at onr races his face we have rarely seen ; 
The Gout or some iSfpa— such excuses he's sent us. 
When most wanted here, he is ' Nim est inventus.' 

What return has been rendered, I'd have ycta reflect (mV 
For your favours conferred on Sir M-— t e^ch Election > 
I trus^ on his canvass, face to face when you meet hirh. 
You'll tell him ingratitude he'll find will unseat him. 
For yoar interest one thought has ne'er entered kit* 

brain^ 
Or he'd here, 'stead of London, hisgrooeries obtain ; 
For VphoUt^ry, his orcfers, bless ' lAif-hath to ivit/ 
And for ' Vulcan* he speeds to that high favour'd Cit. 

He's seldom e'er knoWn, 'Dadngsi the commons as* 

sembled. 
To trouble the hoase but hift interest is blended : 



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228 

Give the old one Ids due iho^'^Commiitees commahd hfor, 
A ^ood bone, to pick is Sir M — ft niemoranduni. 
This Whig, too, who votes and supports opposition. 
For ' Repairs* does not scruple to be in ' Cotnmission :' 
*Tis said^ for this honour-but I don't wish to wrong him. 
He fingers the sum of Three Thousand per Annum. 

The Gusto A. I. with this great haughty man. 

Is '' to keep what he has and to catch what he can" — 

By this the proud era of M*tty is by- past. 

And the '' Bright Star of Heaton*s" great splendour is 

o'ercast : 
For who that reverts to the days to us dear. 
When the portals of B — g — n ne'er clo»'d on its cheer. 
Can with coolness behold, and not draw forth his pen. 
The insults lateJy pass'd upon A — d — n's men. 

And hark to the field, where, at head of his hounds. 
His temper and tongue he can't keep within bounds; 
He snarls, i;ates, and swears every time he goes out. 
The sportsman degrades — quits the man for the brntCr 
To fit him for Parliament's ensuing Session, 
To the Society send him for Vice's suppression ; 
And should they require his blaspheming vocab. 
Let them ask Pr-dh-e H-b-le, they'll find he's a dabb 

But, Ellison, hail ! and return him your senator. 
Your weal in the house he has ever been watchful o'er; 
At home he's a Star who must claim admiration^— 
A fitter M. P. you'll scarce find in the nation : 
His integrity's gain'd him his present high station-— 
There are few lads can match him in fine declamation : 
Then your banners unfurl thro' the town independently. 
Stand or fall. Oh I be Freemen I deluded no longer be. 

FINIS. 

Marfhall, Printer, Newc^Hlc. 



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