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Full text of "Alice's adventures in Wonderland ; and, Through the looking-glass and what Alice found there"



I - 






THE LIBRARY OF THE 

UNIVERSITY OF 

NORTH CAROLINA 

AT CHAPEL HILL 




PRESENTED BY 



Betty Bell 



2j 






Digitized by the Internet Archive 

in 2012 with funding from 

University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill 



http://www.archive.org/details/alicesadventures1901carr 



ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN 
WONDERLAND 



AND 



THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS AND 
WHAT ALICE FOUND THERE 



BY 

LEWIS CARROLL. 



PROFUSELY ILLUSTRATED BY JOHN TENNIEL 



NEW YORK 

HURST AND COMPANY 

PUBLISHERS 



CONTENTS. 



ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

CHAPTER PAGE 

I. Down the Rabbit-Hole 7 

II. The Pool of Tears 16 

III. A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale 26 

IV. The Rabbit sends in a Little Bill 34 

V. Advice from a Caterpillar 46 

VI. Pig and Pepper 58 

VII. A Mad Tea-Party 70 

VIII. The Queen's Croquet-Ground 81 

IX. The Mock Turtle's Story 92 

X. The Lobster Quadrille 103 

XL Who Stole the Tarts? 112 

XII. Alice's Evidence 121 

THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS AND WHAT 
ALICE FOUND THERE. 

I. Looking-Glass House . 137 

II. The Garden of Live Flowers 153 

III. Looking-Glass Insects 165 

IV. Tweedledum and Tweedledee 178 

V. Wool and Water 193 



/ 



4 CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER PAGE 

VI. Humpty Dumpty 206 

VII. The Lion and th« Unicorn 220 

VIII. " It's my own Invention " 232 

IX. Queen Alice 249 

X. Shaking 267 

XI. Waking 2G9 

XII. Which Dreamed It? 271 



All in the golden afternoon 

Full leisurely we glide; 
For both our oars, with little skill, 

By little arms are plied, 
While little hands make vain pretence 

Our wonderings to guide. 

Ah, cruel Three ! In such an hour, 
Beneath such dreamv weather, 

To beg a tale, of breath too weak 
To stir the tiniest feather ! 

Yet what can one poor voice avail 
Against three tongues together ? 

Imperious Prima flashes forth 

Her edict to " begin it " — 
In gentler tone Secunda hopes 

" There will be nonsense in it " — 
While Tertia interrupts the tale 

JSTot more than once a minute. 

Anon, to sudden silence won, 

In fancy they pursue 
The dream-child moving through a land 

Of wonders wild and new, 
In friendly chat with bird or beast — 

And half believe it true. 

5 



And ever, as the story drained 

The wells of fancy dry, 
And faintly strove that weary one 

To put the subject by, 
" The rest next time — " " It is next time ! " 

The happy voices cry. 

Thus grew the tale of Wonderland : 

Thus slowly, one by one, 
Its quaint events were hammered out — 

And now the tale is done, 
And home we steer, a merry crew, 

Beneath the setting sun. 

Alice ! a childish story take, 

And with a gentle hand 
Lay it where Childhood's dreams are twined 

In Memory's mystic band, 
Like pilgrim's withered wreath of flowers 

Plucked in a far-off land. 



6 



ALICE'S ADVENTUEES IN WONDEKLAND. 



CHAPTER I. 



DOWN" THE KABBIT-HOLE. 



Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting 
by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to 
do : once or twice she had peeped into the book her 
sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversa- 
tions in it, " and what is the use of a book," thought 
Alice, " without pictures or conversations ? " 

So she was considering in her own mind, (as well as 
she could, for the hot day made her feel very sleepy 
and stupid,) whether the pleasure of making a daisy- 
chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and 
picking the daisies, when suddenly a white rabbit with 
pink eyes ran close by her. 

There was nothing so very remarkable in that ; nor 
did Alice think it so very much out of the way to hear 
the Rabbit say to itself, " Oh dear ! Oh dear ! I shall 
be too late ! " (when she thought it over afterwards, it 
occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, 
but at the time it all seemed quite natural) ; but when 
the Rabbit actually took a watch out of its waistcoat- 
pocket, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice 
started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that 
she had never before seen a rabbit with either a waist- 
coat-pocket or a watch to take out of it, and, burning 

7 



ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 



with curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and 
was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit- 
hole under the hedge. 

In another moment down went Alice after it, never 
once considering how in the world she was to get out 



again. 



The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for 
some way, and then dipped suddenly down, so sud- 



Wiin 







if 

dBBS 







denly that Alice had not a moment to think about stop- 
ping herself before she found herself falling down 
what seemed to be a very deep well. 

Either the well was very deep, or she fell very 
slowly, for she had plenty of time as she went down 
to look about her, and to wonder what was going to 
happen next. First, she tried to look down and make 
out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to see 



DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE. 9 

anything: then she looked at the sides of the well, and 
noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book- 
shelves : here and there she saw maps and pictures 
hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the 
shelves as she passed ; it was labelled " ORANGE 
MARMALADE," but to her great disappointment it 
was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear 
of killing somebody underneath, so managed to put it 
into one of the cupboards as she fell past it. 

" Well ! " thought Alice to herself, " after such a 
fall as this, I shall think nothing of tumbling down- 
stairs ! How brave they'll all think me at home ! Why, 
I wouldn't say anything about it, even if I fell off the 
top of the house! " (Which was very likely true.) 

Down, down, down. Would the fall never come to 
an end ? "I wonder how many miles I've fallen 
by this time ? " she said aloud. " I must be getting 
somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let me see: 
that would be four thousand miles down, I think — " 
(for, you see, Alice had learnt several things of this 
sort in her lessons in the schoolroom, and though this 
was not a very good opportunity for showing off her 
knowledge, as there was no one to listen to her, still 
it was good practice to say it over) " — yes, that's about 
the right distance — but then I wonder what Latitude 
or Longitude I've got to? " (Alice had not the slight- 
est idea what Latitude was, or Longitude either, but 
she thought they were nice grand words to say.) 

Presently she began again. " I wonder if I shall 
fall right through the earth ! How funny it'll seem 
to come out among the people that walk with their 
heads downwards ! The Antipathies, I think — " (she 
was rather glad there was no one listening this time, 
as it didn't sound at all the right word) " — but I shall 
have to ask them what the name of the country is, you 



10 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

know. Please, Ma'am, is this Xew Zealand or Aus- 
tralia? " (and she tried to curtsy as she spoke — fancy 
curtsying as you're falling through the air! Do you 
think you could manage it ?) " And what an ignorant 
little girl she'll think me for asking! Xo, it'll never 
do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere." 

Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, 
so Alice soon began talking again. " Dinah'll miss me 
very much to-night, I should think!' 1 (Dinah wis the 
cat.) " I hope they'll remember her saucer of milk 
at tea-time. Dinah, my dear! I wish you were down 
here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm 
afraid, but you might catch a bat, and that's very 
like a mouse, you know. But do cats eat bats, I won- 
der? ' And here Alice began to get rather sleepy, and 
went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way, 
" Do cats eat bats ? Do cats eat bats \ " and sometimes, 
" Do bats eat cats ? " for, you see, as she couldn't an- 
swer either question, it didn't much matter which way 
she put it. She felt that she was dozing off, and had 
just begun to dream that she was walking hand in 
hand with Dinah, and was saying to her very earnestly, 
" Xow, Dinah, tell me the truth : did you ever eat a 
bat?" when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came 
upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was 
over. 

Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up onto 
her feet in a moment; she looked up, but it was all dark 
overhead ; before her was another long passage, and 
the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it. 
There was not a moment to be lost : away went Alice 
like the wind, and was just in time to hear it say, as 
it turned a corner, " Oh my ears and whiskers, how 
late it's getting ! ' She was close behind it when she 
turned the corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be 



DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE. 



11 



seen : she found herself in a long, low hall, which was 
lit up by a row of lamps hanging from the roof. 

There were doors all round the hall, but they were 
all locked, and when Alice had been all the way down 
one side and up the other, trying every door, she walked 
sadly down the middle, wondering how she was ever 
to get out again. 

Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, 
all made of solid glass ; there was nothing on it but a 
tiny golden key, and Alice's first idea was that this 




might belong to one of the doors of the hall ; but alas ! 
either the locks were too large, or the key was too small, 
but at any rate it would not open any of them. How- 
ever, on the second time round, she came upon a low 
curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was 
a little door about fifteen inches high : she tried the 
little golden key in the lock, and to her great delight it 
fitted ! 

Alice opened the door and found that it led into a 
small passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she 



12 



ALICES ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 



knelt down and looked along the passage into the love- 
liest garden you ever saw. How she longed to get out 
of that dark hall, and wander about among those beds 
of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but she 
could not even get her head through the doorway ; " and 
even if my head would go through," thought poor 
Alice, " it would be of very little use without my 
shoulders. Oh, how I wish I could shut up like a tele- 
scope ! I think I could if I only knew how to begin." 




For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had hap- 
pened lately that Alice had begun to think that very 
few things indeed were really impossible. 

There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little 
door, so she went back to the table, half hoping she 
might find another key on it, or at any rate a book of 
rules for shutting people up like telescopes ; this time 
she found a little bottle on it, (" which certainly was 



DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE. 13 

not here before," said Alice,) and tied round the neck 
of the bottle was a paper label with the words 
" DRINK ME " beautifully printed on it in large 
letters. 

It was all very well to say " Drink me," but the 
wise little Alice was not going to do that in a hurry : 
" no, I'll look first," she said, " and see whether it's 
marked * poison ' or not : " for she had read several 
nice little stories about children who had got burnt, 
and eaten up by wild beasts, and other unpleasant 
things, all because they would not remember the simple 
rules their friends had taught them, such as, that a 
red-hot poker will burn you if you hold it too long ; 
and that if you cut your finger very deeply with a 
knife, it usually bleeds ; and she had never forgotten 
that, if you drink much from a bottle marked " poison," 
it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or 
later. 

However, this bottle was not marked " poison," so 
Alice ventured to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it 
had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavor of cherry-tart, 
custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffy, and hot buttered 
toast,) she very soon finished it off. 

w "X* w #T TV" 

* * * * 

***** 

" What a curious feeling ! " said Alice, " I must be 
shutting up like a telescope." 

And so it was indeed : she was now only ten inches 
high, and her face brightened up at the thought that 
she was now the right size for going through the little 
door into that lovely garden. First, however, she 
waited for a few minutes to see if she was going to 



14 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

shrink any further : she felt a little nervous about 
this, " for it might end, you know," said Alice to her- 
self, " in nry going out altogether, like a candle. I 
wonder what I should be like then ? " And she tried 
to fancy what the flame of a candle looks like after the 
candle is blown out, for she could not remember ever 
having seen such a thing. 

After a while, finding that nothing more happe ied ? 
she decided on going into the garden at once, but, : as! 
for poor Alice! when she got to the door, she fouii-' she 
had forgotten the little golden key, and when she went 
back to the table for it, she found she could not possibly 
reach it : she could see it quite plainly through the 
glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the legs 
of the table, but it was too slippery, and when she had 
tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat 
down and cried. 

"Come, there's no use in crying like that!' 1 said 
Alice to herself, rather sharply, " I advise you to leave 
off this minute ! ' She generally gave herself very 
good advice, (though she very seldom followed it,) and 
sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring 
tears into her eyes, and once she remembered trying to 
box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game 
of croquet she was playing against herself, for this cu- 
rious child was very fond of pretending to be two peo- 
ple. " But it's no use now," thought poor Alice, " to 
pretend to be two people ! Why, there's hardly enough 
of me left to make one respectable person ! ' 

Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was ly- 
ing under the table : she opened it, and found in it a 
very small cake, on which the words " EAT ME ' : 
were beautifully marked in currants. " Well, I'll eat 
it," said Alice, " and if it makes me grow larger, I can 
reach the key ; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can 



DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE. 



15 



creep under the door ; so either way I'll get into the 
garden, and I don't care which happens ! " 

She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, 
" Which way ? Which way ? '' holding her hand on 
the top of her head to feel which way it was growing, 
and she was quite surprised to find that she remained 
the same size: to be sure, this is what generally hap- 
pens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much 
into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way 
things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid 
for life to go on in the common way. 

So she set to work, and very soon finished off the 
cake. 



* 



■» 



* 



* 



* 



* 



-x- 



* 



■* 



■» 



* 




CHAPTER II. 



THE POOL OF TEAKS. 



" Cukiouser and euriouser!" cried Alice (she was 
so much surprised, that for the moment she quite for- 
got how to speak good English) ; " now I'm opening 
out like the largest telescope that ever was ! Good-bye, 
feet!' (for when she looked down at her feet, they 
seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so 
far off). " Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will 
put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears ? 
I'm sure / shan't be able ! I shall be a great deal 
too far off to trouble myself about you ; you must man- 
age the best way you can ; — but I must be kind to 
them," thought Alice, " or perhaps they won't walk 
the way I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a 
new pair of boots every Christmas." 

And she went on planning to herself how she would 
manage it. " They must go by the carrier," she 
thought ; " and how funny it'll seem, sending presents 
to one's own feet ! And how odd the directions will 
look ! 

Alice's Rigid Foot, Esq., 
Hearthrug, 

near the Fender, 

(with Alice's love.) 

Oh, dear, what nonsense I'm talking ! " 

Just at this moment her head struck against the 
roof of the hall: in fact, she was now rather more than 
16 



THE POOL OF TEARS. 



17 




18 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

nine feet high, and she at once took up the little golden 
key and hurried off to the garden door. 

Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying 
down on one side, to look through into the garden 
with one eye; but to get through was more hopeless 
than ever: she sat down and began to cry again. 

" You ought to be ashamed of yourself," said Alice, 
" a great girl like yon," (she might well say this,) " to 
go on crying in this way! Stop this moment, I tell 
you ! ' But she went on all the same, shedding gallons 
of tears, until there was a large pool all round her, 
about four inches deep and reaching half down the hall. 

After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in 
the distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what 
was coming. It was the White Rabbit returning, splen- 
didly dressed, with a pair of white kid gloves in one 
hand and a large fan in the other: he came trotting 
along in a great hurry, muttering to himself as he 
came, " Oh ! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh, won't she 
be savage if I've kept her waiting! ' Alice felt so des- 
perate that she w r as ready to ask help of any one ; so, 
when the Rabbit came near her, she began, in a low, 

timid voice, " If you please, sir " The Rabbit 

started violently, dropped the white kid gloves and the 
fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hard as he 
could go. 

Alice took up the fan and gloves and, as the hall was 
very hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she 
went on talking : " Dear, dear ! How queer everything 
is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual. 
I wonder if I've been changed in the night ? Let me 
think: was I the same when I got up this morning? 
I almost think I can remember feeling a little differ- 
ent. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, 
Who in the world am I ? Ah, that's the great puzzle ! " 



THE POOL OF TEARS. 19 

And she began thinking over all the children she knew, 
that were of the same age as herself to see if she could 
have been changed for anv of them. 

" I'm sure I'm not Ada," she said, " for her hair 
goes in such long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ring- 



lets, at all, and I'm sure I can't be Mabel, for I know 
all sorts of things, and she, oh! she knows such a very 
little! Besides, she's she, and I'm I, and — oh dear, 
how puzzling it all is ! I'll try if I know all the things 
I used to know. Let me see: four times five is twelve, 
and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is 



20 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

— oh dear ! I shall never e;et to twenty at that rate ! 
However, the Multiplication Table don't signify: let's 
try Geography. London is the capital of Paris, and 
Paris is the capital of Rome, and Pome, no, that's all 
wrong, I'm certain ! I must have been changed for 
Mabel ! I'll try and say ' How doth the little — ' : ' and 
she crossed her hands on her lap, as if she were saying 
lessons, and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded 
hoarse and strange, and the words did not come the 
same as they used to do : — 

" How doth the little crocodile 
Improve his shining tail, 
And pour the waters of the Nile 
On every golden scale! 

Hoiv cheerfully he seems to grin, 
How neatly spreads his claws, 

And welcomes little fishes in 
With gently smiling jaws!" 

" I'm sure those are not the right words," said poor 
Alice, and her eves filled with tears again as she went 
on, " I must be Mabel after all, and I shall have to 
go and live in that poky little house, and have next 
to no tovs to play with, and oh ! ever so many lessons 
to learn ! Xo, I've made up my mind about it : if 
I'm Mabel, I'll stay down here ! It'll be no use their 
putting their heads down and saying, ' Come up again, 
dear ! ' I shall only look up and say, ' Who am I, then ? 
Tell me that first, and then, if I like being that person, 
I'll come up : if not, I'll stay down here till I'm some- 
body else ' — but, oh dear! " cried Alice, with a sudden 
burst of tears, " I do wish they would put their heads 
down ! I am so very tired of being all alone here ! ' 

As she said this, she looked down at her hands, and 



THE POOL OF TEARS. o} 

was surprised to see that she had put on one of the 
Rabbit's little white kid gloves while she was talking. 
" How can I have done that % " she thought " I must 
be growing small again." She got up and went to the 
table to measure herself by it, and found that, as nearly 
as she could guess, she was now about two feet high, 
and was going on shrinking rapidly; she soon found 
out that the cause of this was the fan she was holding, 
and she dropped it hastily, just in time to save herself 
from shrinking away altogether. 

" That was a narrow escape ! ' ' said Alice, a good 
deal frightened at the sudden change, but very glad to 
find herself still in existence ;, " and now for the gar- 
den ! "and she ran with all speed back to the little 
door : but alas ! the little door was shut again, and the 
little golden key was lying on the glass table as be- 
fore, " and things are worse than ever," thought the 
poor child, " for I never was so small as this before, 
never ! And I declare it's too bad, that it is ! ' 

As she said these words her foot slipped, and in 
another moment, splash ! she was up to her chin in salt 
water. Her first idea was that she had somehow fallen 
into the sea, " and in that case I can go back by rail- 
way," she said to herself. (Alice had been to the sea- 
side once in her life, and had come to the general con- 
clusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast 
you find a number of bathing machines in the sea, some 
children digging in the sand with wooden spades, then 
a row of lodging houses, and behind them a railway 
station. However, she soon made out that she. was in 
the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine 
feet high. 

" I wish I hadn't cried so much ! " said Alice, as 
she swam about, trying to find her way out. " I shall 
be punished for it now, I suppose, by being drowned in 



22 



ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 



mj own tears ! That will be a queer thing, to be sure ! 
However, everything is queer to-day." 

Just then she heard something splashing about in 
the pool a little way off, and she swam nearer to make 
out what it was: at first, she thought it must be a 
walrus or hippopotamus, but then she remembered how 
small she was now, and she soon made out that it was 
only a mouse, that had slipped in like herself. 

" Would it be of any use, now," thought Alice, " to 
speak to this mouse ? Everything is so out-of-the-way 
down here, that I should think very likely it can talk: 




at any rate there's no harm in trying." So she began : 
"O Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? 
I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse ! ' 
(Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking 
to a mouse: she had never done such a thing before, 
but she remembered having seen in her brother's Latin 
Grammar, " A mouse— of a mouse — to a mouse — a 
mouse — O mouse! ") The Mouse looked at her rather 
inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its 
little eves, but it said nothing. 

" Perhaps it doesn't understand English," thought 



THE POOL OF TEARS. 23 

Alice; " I daresay it's a French mouse, come over with 
William the Conqueror." (For, with all her knowl- 
edge of history, Alice had no very clear notion how 
long ago anything had happened.) So she began again: 
" Ou est ma chatte ? " which was the first sentence in 
her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden 
leap out of the water, and seemer to quiver all over 
with fright. " Oh, I beg your pardon ! " cried Alice, 
hastily, afraid that she had hurt the poor animal's feel- 
ings. " I quite forgot you didn't like cats." 

" ~Not like cats ! " cried the Mouse, in a shrill, pas- 
sionate voice. " Would you like cats if you were me ? " 

" Well, perhaps not," said Alice, in a soothing tone : 
" don't be angry about it. And yet I wish I could show 
you our cat Dinah : I think you'd take a fancy to cats 
if you could only see her. She is such a dear quiet 
thing," Alice went on, half to herself, as she swam 
lazily about in the pool, " and she sits purring so nicely 
by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face — and 
she is such a nice soft thing to nurse — and she's such 
a capital one for catching mice — oh, I beg your par- 
don ! ' : cried Alice again, for this time the Mouse 
was bristling all over, and she felt certain it must be 
really offended. " We won't talk about her any more 
if you'd rather not." 

" We, indeed ! " cried the Mouse, who was trembling 
down to the end of his tail. " As if I would talk on 
such a subject! Our family always hated cats: nasty, 
low, vulgar things ! Don't let me hear the name 
again ! " 

" I won't indeed ! " said Alice, in a great hurry to 
change the subject of conversation. " Are you — are 
you fond — of — of dogs ? " The mouse did not answer, 
so Alice went on eagerly : " There is such a nice little 
dog near our house I should like to show you ! A 



24 



ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 



little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh ! such long 
curly, brown hair ! And it'll fetch things when you 
throw them, and it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and 
all sorts of things — I can't remember half of them — 
and it belongs to a farmer, you know, and he says it's 
so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds! lie says it 
kills all the rats and — oh dear! " cried Alice, in a sor- 
rowful tone. ''I'm afraid I've offended it again!* 




For the Mouse was swimming awav from her as hard 
as it could go, and making quite a commotion in the 
pool as it went. 

So she called softlv after it: "Mouse, dear! Do 
come back again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs, 
either, if you don't like them ! ' When the Mouse 
heard this, it turned round and swam slowly back to 
her: its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice 
thought), and it said in a low, trembling voice, " Let 
us get to the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, 
and you'll understand why it is I hate cats and dogs." 

It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite 



THE POOL OF TEARS. 



25 



crowded with the birds and animals that had fallen into 
it : there was a Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an 
Eaglet, and several other curious creatures. Alice led 
the way, and the whole party swam to the shore. 





CHAPTER III.' 



A CAECUS-RACE AXD A LOXG TALE. 



They were indeed a queer-looking party that as- 
sembled on the bank — the birds with draggled feathers, 
the animals -with their fur clingina; close to them, and 
all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable. 

The first question of course was, how to got dry 
again : thev had a consultation about this, and after 
a few minutes it seemed quite natural to Alice to find 
herself talking familiarly with them, as if she had 
known them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a 
lon<r argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky, 
and would only sav, " I am older than vou, and must 
know better;" and this xVlice would not allow, with- 
out knowing how old it was, and as the Lory posi- 
tively refused to tell its age, there was no more to be 
said. 

26 



A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE. 27 

At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of 
some authority among them, called out, " Sit down, all 
of you, and listen to me ! I'll soon make you dry 
enough ! ' They all sat down at once, in a large ring, 
with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes 
anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch 
a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon. 

" Ahem ! " said the Mouse, with an important air, 
" are you all ready ? This is the driest thing I know. 
Silence all round, if you please ! ' William the Con- 
queror, whose cause was favored by the pope, was 
soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, 
and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation 
and conquest. EdAvin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia 
and Xorthumbria — ' " 

" Ugh ! " said the Lory, with a shiver. 

" I beg your pardon ? ' : ' said the Mouse, frowning, 
"but very politely : " Did you speak ? " 

" Kot I ! " said the Lory, hastily. 

" I thought you did," said the Mouse. — " I proceed. 
' Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and ISTorth- 
umbria, declared for him ; and even Stigand, the pa- 
triotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advis- 
able—' " 

" Found what? " said the Duck. 

" Eound it" the Mouse replied, rather crossly : " of 
course you know what ' it ' means." 

" I know what ' it ' means well enough when I find 
a thing," said the Duck : " it's generally a frog or a 
worm. The question is, what did the archbishop 
find ? " 

The Mouse did not notice this question, but hur- 
riedly went on, " ' — found it advisable to go with Ed- 
gar Atheling to meet William and offer him the crown. 
William's conduct at first was moderate. But the 



s 



2S ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

insolence of his Xormans — ' How are yon getting on 
now, my dear?' 1 it continued, turning to Alice as it 
poke. 

' As wet as ever," said Alice, in a melancholy tone: 
" it, doesn't seem to dry me at all." 

" In that case," said the Dodo, solemnly, rising to its 
feet, " I move that the meeting adjourn, for the imme- 
diate adoption of more energetic remedies — " 

" Speak English ! " said the Eaglet. " I don't know 
the meaning of half those long words, and what's 
more, I don't believe vou do either ! ' And the Eaglet 
bent down its head to hide a smile : some of the other 
birds tittered audibly. 

" What I was going to say," said the Dodo, in an 
offended tone, " was, that the best thing to get us dry 
would be a Caucus-race." 

" What is a Caucus-race ? " said Alice ; not that she 
much wanted to know, but the Dodo had paused as if 
it thought that somebody ought to speak, and no one 
else seemed inclined to say anything. 

" Why," said the Dodo, " the best way to explain 
it is to do it." (And as you might like to try the thing 
yourself, some winter day, I will tell you how the Dodo 
managed it.) 

First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, 
(" the exact shape doesn't matter," it said,) and then 
all the party were placed along the course, here and 
there. There was no " One, two, three, and away," 
but they began running when they liked, and left off 
when they liked, so that it was not easy to know when 
the race was over. However, when they had been run- 
ning half-an-hour or so, and were quite dry again, the 
Dodo suddenly called out, " The race is over ! ' ' and 
they all crowded round it, panting, and asking, " But 
who has won ? " 



A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE. 



29 



This question the Dodo could not answer without a 
great deal of thought, and it sat for a long time with 
one finger pressed upon its forehead, (the position in 
which you usually see Shakespeare, in the pictures of 
him,) while the rest waited in silence. At last the 
Dodo said, " Everybody has won, and all must have 
prizes." 







" But who is to give the prizes ? " quite a chorus of 
voices asked. 

" Why, site, of course," said the Dodo, pointing to 
Alice with one finger; and the whole party at once 
crowded round her, calling out in a confused way, 
" Prizes ! Prizes ! " 



30 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put 
her hand into her pocket, and pulled out a box of com- 
fits, (luckily the salt water had not got into it,) and 
handed them round as prizes. There was exactly one 
a-piece, all round. 

" But she must have a prize herself, you know," said 
the Mouse. 

" Of course," the Dodo replied, very gravely. " What 
else have you got in your pocket ? " he went on, turning 
to Alice. 

" Only a thimble," said Alice, sadly. 

" Hand it over here," said the Dodo. 

Then they all crowded round her once more, while 
the Dodo solemnly presented the thimble, saying, " We 
beg your acceptance of this elegant thimble ; ' and, 
when it had finished this short speech, they all cheered. 

Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they 
all looked so grave that she did not dare to laugh, and 
as she could not think of anything to say, she simply 
bowed, and took the thimble, looking as solemn as she 
could. 

The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused 
some noise and confusion, as the large birds complained 
that they could not taste theirs, and the small ones 
choked and had to be patted on the back. However, it 
was over at last, and they sat down again in a ring, 
and besrged the Mouse to tell them something more. 

" You promised to tell me your history, you know," 
said Alice, " and why it is vou hate — C and D," she 
added in a whisper, half afraid that it would be of- 
fended again. 

" Mine is a long and sad tale ! " said the Mouse, 
turning to Alice, and sighing. 

" It is a long tail, certainly," said Alice, looking 
down with wonder at the Mouse's tail; "but why do 



A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE. 31 

you call it sad ? " And she kept on puzzling about it 
while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the 
tale was something like this : • 

« Fury said to 

a mouse, That 
he met in 
the house, 
' Let us 
both go 
to law : 
7 will 
prosecute 
you. — 
Come, I'll 
take no 
denial ; 
We must 

have a trial : 

For really 
this morning 
I've 
nothing 
to do.' 
Said the 
mouse to 
the cur, 

' Such a trial, 
dear sir, 
With no 
jury or 
judge, 
would be 
wasting 

our breath. 
I'll be 
judge, 
I'll be 
jury,' Said 
cunning 
old Fury; 
4 I'll try 

the whole 
cause 
and 
condemn 
you 
to 
death.' 



32 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

" You are not attending! " said the Mouse to Alice, 
severely. " What are you thinking of ? " 

" I beg your pardon," said Alice, very humbly : 
" you had got to the fifth bend, I think ? " 

"I had not!'' cried the Mouse, sharply and very 
angrily. 

" A knot! " said Alice, always ready to make herself 
useful, and looking anxiously about her. " Oh, do let 
me help to undo it ! " 

" I shall do nothing of the sort," said the Mouse, 
getting up and walking away. " You insult me by 
talking such nonsense ! " 

"I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. "But 
you're so easily offended, you know ! " 

The Mouse only growled in reply. 

"Please come back, and finish your story!" Alice 
called after it; and the others all joined in chorus, 
" Yes, please do ! " hut the Mouse only shook its head 
impatiently, and walked a little quicker. 

" What a pity it wouldn't stay ! " sighed the Lory, 
as soon as it was quite out of sight ; and an old crab 
took the opportunity of saying to her daughter, " Ah, 
mv dear ! Let this be a lesson to vou never to lose 
your temper!" "Hold your tongue, Ma!" said the 
young crab, a little snappishly. " You're enough to try 
the patience of an oyster ! " 

" I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do ! " said 
Alice aloud, addressing nobody in particular. " She'd 
soon fetch it back ! " 

" And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the 
question % " said the Lory. 

Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to 
talk about her pet. " Dinah's our cat. And she's such 
a capital one for catching mice, you can't think ! And 



A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE. 3£ 

oh, I wish you could see her after the birds! Why, 
she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it ! " 

This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the 
party. Some of the birds hurried off at once: one old 
magpie began wrapping itself up very carefully, re- 
marking, " I really must be getting home ; the night 
air doesn't suit my throat! " and a canary called out 
in a trembling voice to its children, " Come away, my 
dears ! It's high time you were all in bed ! " On va- 
rious pretexts they all moved off, and Alice was soon 
left alone. 

'' I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah ! " she said to 
herself in a melancholy tone. " Nobody seems to like 
her, down here, and I'm sure she's the best cat in the 
world ! Oh, my dear Dinah ! I wonder if I shall ever 
see you any more ! ' And here poor Alice began to 
cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. In 
a little while, however, she again heard a little patter- 
ing of footsteps in the distance, and she looked up 
eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse had changed his 
mind and was coming back to finish his story. 




CHAPTER IV. 

THE RABBIT SENDS IX A LITTLE BILL. 

It was the "White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, 
and looking; anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost 
something; and she heard it muttering to itself, " The 
Duchess ! The Duchess ! Oh. my dear paws ! Oh, my 
fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed, as sure as 
ferrets are ferrets! Where can I have dropped them, 
I wonder ! v Alice guessed in a moment that it was 
looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, 
and she very a'ood-naturedlv began hunting about for 
them, but thev were nowhere to be seen — everything 
seemed to have changed since her swim in the pool, 
and the great hall, with the glass table and the little 
door, had vanished completely. 

Very soon the Rabbit noticed xVliee, as she went 
hunting about, and called out to her in an angry tone, 
" WTiy, Mary Ann, what are you doing out here ( Run 
home this moment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and a 
fan ! Quick, now ! " And Alice was so much fright- 
ened that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed 
to, without trying to explain the mistake that it had 
made. 

" He took me for his housemaid," she said to her- 
self as she ran. " How surprised he'll be when he finds 
out who I am ! But I'd better take him his fan and 
gloves — that is, if I can find them." As she said this, 
she came upon a neat little house, on the door of which 
34 



THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 35 

was a bright brass plate with the name " W. RAB- 
BIT/' engraved upon it. She went in without knock- 
ing, and hurried upstairs, in great fear lest she should 
meet the real Mary Ann, and be turned out of the 
house before she had found the fan and gloves. 

" How queer it seems," Alice said to herself, " to 
be going messages for a rabbit ! I suppose Dinah'll be 




sending me on messages next ! " And she began fancy- 
ing the sort of thing that would happen : " ' Miss Alice I 
Come here directly, and get ready for your walk ! y 
' Coming in a minute, nurse ! But I've got to watch 
this mouse-hole till Dinah comes back, and see that 
the mouse doesn't get out.' Only I don't think," Alice 
went on, " that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it 
began ordering people about like that ! " 

By this time she had found her way into a tidy little 
room with a table in the window, and on it (as she had 
hoped) a fan and two or three pairs of tiny white kid 



36 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

gloves : she took up the fan and a pair of the gloves, 
and was just going to leave the room when her eye fell 
upon a little bottle that stood near the looking-glass. 
There was no label this time with the words " DRINK 
ME," but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her 
lips. " I know something interesting is sure to hap- 
pen," she said to herself, " whenever I eat or drink 
anything ; so I'll just see what this bottle does. I do 
hope it'll make me grow large again, for really I'm 
quite tired of being such a tiny little thing ! " 

It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had ex- 
pected : before she had drunk half the bottle, she found 
her head pressing against the ceiling, and had to stoop 
to save her neck from being broken. She hastily put 
down the bottle, saying to herself, " That's quite enough 
— I hope I shan't grow any more — As it is, I can't get 
out at the door — I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so 
much ! " 

Alas ! It was too late to wish that ! She went on 
growing and growing, and very soon had to kneel down 
on the floor : in another minute there was not even room 
for this, and she tried the effect of lying down, with one 
elbow against the door, and the other arm curled round 
her head. Still she went on growing, and, as a last re- 
source, she put one arm out of the window, and one 
foot up the chimney, and said to herself, " Now, I 
can do no more, whatever happens. What will become 
of me ? " 

Luckily fof Alice, the little magic bottle had now had 
its full effect, and she grew no larger: still it was very 
uncomfortable, and, as there seemed to be no sort of 
chance of her ever getting out of the room again, no 
wonder she felt unhappy. 

" It was much pleasanter at home," thought poor 
Alice, " when one wasn't always growing larger and 



THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 37 

smaller, and being ordered about by mice and rabbits. 
I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole — 
and yet — and yet — it's rather curious, you know, this 
sort of life ! I do wonder what can have happened to 
me ! When I used to read fairy tales, I fancied that 
kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in 
the middle of one ! There ought to be a book written 
about me, that there ought ! And when I grow up, I'll 
write one — but I'm grown up now," she added in a 
sorrowful tone : " at least there's no room to grow up 
any more here." 

" But, then," thought Alice, " shall I never get any 
older than I am now ? That'll be a comfort, one way — 
never to be an old woman — but then — always to have 
lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like that!" 

" Oh, you foolish Alice ! " she answered herself. 
" How can you learn lessons in here ? Why, there's 
hardly room for you, and no room at all for any lesson 
books'! " 

And so she went on, taking first one side and then 
the other, and making quite a conversation of it alto- 
gether, but after a few minutes she heard a voice out- 
side, and stopped to listen. 

" Mary Ann ! Mary Ann ! " said the voice, " fetch 
me my gloves this moment ! " Then came a little pat- 
tering of feet on the stairs. Alice knew it was the 
Rabbit coming to look for her, and she trembled till 
she shook the house, quite forgetting that she was now 
about a thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and had 
no reason to be afraid of it. 

Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried 
to open it, but as the door opened inwards, and Alice's 
elbow was pressed hard against it, that attempt proved 
a failure. Alice heard it say to itself, " Then I'll go 
round and get in at the window." 



38 



ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 



" That you won't ! " thought Alice, and, after wait- 
ing till she fancied she heard the Habit just under the 
window, she suddenly spread out her hand, and made 
a snatch in the air. She did not get hold of anything, 
but she heard a little shriek and a fall, and a crash 
of broken glass, from which she concluded that it was 
just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or 
something of the sort. 







Next came an angry voice — the Rabbit's — "Pat! 
Pat! Where are you ? " and then a voice she had never 
heard before, " Sure, then, I'm here ! Digging for ap- 
ples, yer honor ! " 

" Digging for apples, indeed ! " said the Rabbit, an- 
grily. "Here! Come and help me out of this!' 
(Sounds of more broken glass.) 

" Now, tell me, Pat, what's that in the window ? " 



THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 39 

" Sure, it's an arm, yer honor ! " (He pronounced 
it " arrum.") 

" An arm, you goose ! Who ever saw one that size ? 
Why, it fills the whole window ! " 

" Sure, it does, yer honor : but it's an arm for all 
that." 

" Well, it's got no business there, at any rate : go and 
take it awav ! " 

There was a long silence after this, and Alice could 
only hear whispers now and then, such as, " Sure, I 
don't like it, yer honor, at all, at all ! " " Do as I tell 
you, you coward ! " and at last she spread out her hand 
again and made another snatch in the air. This time 
there were two little shrieks, and more sounds of broken 
glass. " What a number of cucumber frames there 
must be ! " thought Alice. " I wonder what they'll 
do next ! As for pulling me out of the window, I only 
wish they could. I'm sure I don't want to stay in 
here any longer ! " 

She waited for some time without hearing anything 
more : at last came a rumbling of little cart-wheels, and 
the sound of a good many voices all talking together: 
she made out the words, " Where's the other ladder ? 
— Why, I hadn't to bring but one : Bill's got the other 
— Bill fetch it here, lad ! — Here, put 'em up at this 
corner — jSTo, tie 'em together first — thev don't reach 
half high enough yet — Oh! they'll do well enough; 
don't be particular — Here, Bill ! catch hold of this rope 
— Will the roof bear ? — Mind that loose slate — Oh, 
it's coming down! Heads below!" (a loud crash) — 
" 'Now, who did that ? — It was Bill, I fancy — Who's to 
go down the chimney? — Nay, / shan't! You do it! — 
That I won't, then ! — Bill's got to go down — Here, 
Bill ! the master says you've got to go down the chim- 
nev!" 



40 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 




THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 41 

" Oh, so Bill's got to come down the chimney, has 
he ? " said Alice, to herself. " Why, they seem to put 
everything upon Bill ! I wouldn't be in Bill's place 
for a good deal : this fireplace is narrow, to be sure, 
but I think I can kick a little ! " 

She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she 
could, and waited till she heard a little animal (she 
couldn't guess of what sort it was) scratching and 
scrambling about in the chimney close above her : then, 
saying to herself, " This is Bill," she gave one sharp 
kick, and waited to see what would happen next. 

The first thing she heard was a general chorus of 
" There goes Bill ! " then the Rabbit's voice alone, 
" Catch him, you by the hedge ! " then silence, and then 
another confusion of voices — " Hold up his head — 
Brandy now — Don't choke him — How was it, old fel- 
low ? What happened to you % Tell us all about it ! " 

Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, (" That's 
Bill," thought Alice,) "Well, I hardly know — No 
more, thank'ye, I'm better now — but I'm a deal too 
flustered to tell you — all I know is, something comes 
at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky- 
rocket ! " 

" So vou did, old fellow ! " said the others. 

" We must burn the house down ! " said the Bab- 
bit's voice, and Alice called out as loud as she could, 
" If you do, I'll set Dinah at you ! " 

There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought 
to herself, " I wonder what they will do next ! If they 
had any sense, they'd take the roof off." After a min- 
ute or two they began moving about again, and Alice 
heard the Rabbit say, " A barrowful will do, to be- 
gin with." 

" A barrowful of what? " thought Alice; but she had 
not long to doubt, for the next moment a shower of lit- 



42 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

tie pebbles came rattling in at the window, and some of 
them hit her in the face. " I'll put a stop to this," she 
said to herself, and shouted out, " You'd better not do 
that again ! " which produced another dead silence. 

Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles 
were all turning into little cakes as they lay on the floor, 
and a bright idea came into her head. " If I eat one of 
these cakes," she thought, " it's sure to make some 
change in my size : and as it can't possibly make me 
larger, it must make me smaller, I suppose." 

So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted 
to find that she began shrinking directly. As soon as 
she was small enough to get through the door, she ran 
out of the house, and found quite a crowd of little ani- 
mals and birds waiting outside. The poor little Lizard, 
Bill, was in the middle, being held up by two guinea- 
pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle. 
They all made a rush at Alice the moment she ap- 
peared, but she ran off as hard as she could, and soon 
found herself safe in a thick wood. 

" The first thing I've got to do," said Alice to her- 
self, as she wandered about in the wood, " is to grow 
to my right size again ; and the second thing is to find 
my way into that lovely garden. I think that will be 
the best plan." 

It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very 
neatly and simply arranged ; the only difficulty was. 
that she had not the smallest idea how to set about it ; 
and while she was peering about anxiously among the 
trees, a little sharp bark just over her head made her 
look up in a great hurry. 

An enormous puppy was looking down at her with 
large round eyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, 
trying to touch her. " Poor little thing ! " said Alice, 
in a coaxing tone, and she tried hard to whistle to it, 



THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 43 




but she was terribly frightened all the time at the 
thought that it might be hungry, in which ease it would 
be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing. 
Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little 
bit of stick, and held it out to the puppy; whereupon 
the puppy jumped into the air off all its feet at once, 
•with a yelp of delight, and rushed at the stick, and 
made believe to worry it; then Alice dodged behind a 
great thistle, to keep herself from being run over, and, 



44 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy 
made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over 
heels in its hurry to get hold of it ; then Alice, think- 
ing it was very like having a game of play with a 
cart horse, and expecting every moment to be trampled 
under its feet, ran round the thistle again; then the 
puppy began a series of short charges at the stick, run- 
ning a very little way forward each time and a long 
way back, and barking hoarsely all the while, till at 
last it sat down a good way off, panting, with its tongue 
hanging out of its mouth, and its great eyes half 
shut. 

This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making 
her escape, so she set off at once, and ran till she was 
quite tired and out of breath, and till the puppy's 
bark sounded quite faint in the distance. 

"And yet what a dear little puppy it was!" said 
Alice, as she leant against a buttercup to rest herself, 
and fanned herself with one of the leaves; "I should 
nave liked teaching it tricks very much, if — if I'd 
only been the right size to do it ! Oh, dear ! I'd nearly 
forgotten that I've got to grow up again ! Let me see — ■ 
how is it to be managed I I suppose I ought to eat or 
drink something or other; but the great question is, 
what ? " 

The great question certainly was, what ? Alice looked 
all round her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but 
she could not see anything that looked like the right 
thing to eat or drink under the circumstances. There 
was a large mushroom growing near her, about the 
same height as herself, and when she had looked under 
it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to 
her that she might as well look and see what was on 
the top of it. 

She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over 



THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 



45 



the edge of the mushroom, and her eyes immediately 
met those of a large blue caterpillar, that was sitting 
on the top with its arms folded, quietly smoking 
a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice of 
her or of anything else. 





CHAPTER V. 



ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 



The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for 
some time in silence : at last the Caterpillar took the 
hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a lan- 
guid, sleepy voice. 

"Who are you?" said the Caterpillar. 

This was not an encouraging opening for a conver- 
sation. Alice replied, rather shyly, " I — I hardly 
46 



ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 47 

know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I was 
when I got up this morning, but I think I must have 
been changed several times since then." 

" What do you mean by that ? ' : said the Cater- 
pillar, sternly. " Explain yourself ! " 

" I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, sir," said Alice, 
" because I'm not myself, you see." 

" I don't see," said the Caterpillar. 

" I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly," Alice re- 
plied, very politely, " for I can't understand it myself 
to begin with ; and being so many different sizes in a 
day is very confusing." 

" It isn't," said the Caterpillar. 

" Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet," said 
Alice ; " but when you have to turn into a chrysalis — 
you will some day, you know — and then, after that, into 
a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little queer,, 
won't you ? " 

" Not a bit," said the Caterpillar. 

" Well, perhaps your feelings may be different," 
said Alice ; " all I know is, it would feel very queer to* 
me. 

" You ! ' said the Caterpillar, contemptuously r 
"Whoareyow?" 

Which brought them back again to the beginning 
of the conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the 
Caterpillar's making such very short remarks, and she 
drew herself up and said, very gravely, " I think you 
ought to tell me who you are, first." 

" Why ? " said the Caterpillar. 

Here was another puzzling question ; and, as Alice 
could not think of any good reason, and, as the Cater- 
pillar seemed to be in a very unpleasant state of mind r 
she turned away. 



48 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

" Come back ! " the Caterpillar called after her. 
" I've something important to say ! " 

This sonnded promising, certainly: Alice turned and 
came back again. 

" Keep your temper," said the Caterpillar. 

" Is that all ? " said Alice, swallowing down her an- 
ger as well as she could. 

"No," said the Caterpillar. 

Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had 
nothing else to do, and perhaps after all it might tell 
her something worth hearing. For some minutes it 
puffed away without speaking, but at last it unfolded 
its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, and 
said, " So you think you're changed, do you ? ' 

" I'm afraid I am, sir," said Alice, " I can't remem- 
ber things as I used — and I don't keep the same size 
for ten minutes together ! " 

" Can't remember what things % " said the Caterpil- 
lar. 

" Well, I've tried to say, ' How doth the little busy 
bee,' but it all came different ! " Alice replied, in a 
very melancholy voice. 

"Repeat ' You are old, Father William,' ' said the 
Caterpillar. 

Alice folded her hands, and began : — 



ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 



49 




" You are old, father William" the young man. said, 
"And your hair has become very white; 

And yet you incessantly stand on your head — 
Do you think, at your age, it is right? " 



" In my youth," father William replied to his son, 
"I feared it might injure the brain; 

But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none. 
Why, I do it again and again." 



50 



ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 




" You are old," said the youth, " as I mentioned before, 
And have grown most uncommonly fat; 

Yet yon turned a bach-somersault in at the door — 
Pray, what is the reason of that!" 



" In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey lochs, 

" I hept all my limbs very supple 
By the use of this ointment — one shilling the box — 

'Allow me to sell you a couple" 



ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 



51 




'' You are old," said the youth, " and your jaws are too 
weak 

For anything tougher than suet; 
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak; 

Pray, how did you manage to do it? " 



" In my youth," said his father, " I took to the law, 

And argued each case with my wife; 
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw, 

Has lasted the rest of my life." 



52 



ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 




' You are old," said the youth; " one would hardly sup- 
pose 

That your eye was as steady as ever; 
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose — 

What made you so awfully clever?" 



' I have answered three questions, and that is enough/ 
Said his father; " don't give yourself airs! 

Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? 
Be off, or I'll hick you downstairs!" 



ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 53 



u 



That is not said right," said the Caterpillar. 

" Not quite right, I'm afraid," said Alice, timidly ; 
" some of the words have got altered." 

" It is wrong from beginning to end," said the Cat' 
erpillar, decidedly, and there was silence for some min- 
utes. 

The Caterpillar was the first to speak. 

" What size do you want to be ? " it asked. 

" Oh, I'm not particular as to size," Alice hastily re- 
plied ; " only one doesn't like changing so often, you 
know." 

" I don't know," said the Caterpillar. 

Alice said nothing: she had never been so much 
contradicted in all her life before, and she felt that she 
was losing her temper. 

" Are you content now ? " said the Caterpillar. 

" Well, I should like to be a little larger, sir, if you 
wouldn't mind," said Alice : " three inches is such a 
wretched height to be." 

" It is a very good height, indeed ! " said the Cater- 
pillar, angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it 
was exactly three inches high). 

" But I'm not used to it ! " pleaded poor Alice in a 
piteous tone. And she thought to herself, " I wish the 
creatures wouldn't be so easily offended ! " 

" You'll get used to it in time," said the Caterpillar ; 
and it put the hookah into its mouth and began smok- 
ing again. 

This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to 
speak again. In a minute or two the Caterpillar took 
the hookah out of its mouth, and yawned once or twice, 
and shook itself. Then it got down off the mushroom, 
and crawled away into the grass, merely remarking as 
it went, " One side will make you grow taller, and the 
other side will make you grow shorter." 



54 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

"One side of what? The other side of what?' 
thought Alice to herself. 

" Of the mushroom," said the Caterpillar, just as 
if she had asked it aloud ; and in another moment it 
was out of sight. 

Alice remained looting thoughtfully at the mush- 
room for a minute, trying to make out which were the 
two sides of it; and, as it was perfectly round, she 
found this a very difficult question. However, at last 
she stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, 
and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand. 

" And now which is which '. ' ' she said to herself, 
and nibbled a little of the right-hand bit to try the 
effect : the next moment she felt a violent blow under- 
neath her chin ; it had struck her foot I 

She was a good deal frightened by this very sndden 
change, but she felt that there was no time to be lost, 
as she was shrinking rapidly ; so she set to work at 
once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed 
so closelv against her foot, that there was hardlv room 
to open her mouth ; but she did it at last, and man- 
aged to swallow a morsel of the left-hand bit. 

* * * * * 

TT T" ™ TP 

***** 

" Come, my head's free at last ! " said Alice in a 
tone of delight, which changed into alarm in another 
moment, when she found that her shoulders were no- 
where to be found : all she could see, when she looked 
down, was an immense length of neck, which seemed 
to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that 
lay far below her. 



ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 55 

" What can all that green stuff be ? " said Alice. 
" And where have my shoulders got to ? And, oh, my 
poor hands, how is it I can't see you ? ' : She was mov- 
ing them about as she spoke, but no result seemed to 
follow, except a little shaking among the distant green 
leaves. 

As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands 
np to her head, she tried to get her head down to 
them, and was delighted to find that her neck would 
bend about easily in any direction, like a serpent. She 
had just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful 
zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, 
which she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees 
under which she had been wandering, when a sharp 
hiss made her draw back in a hurry: a large pigeon had 
flown into her face, and was beating her violently with 
its wings. 

" Serpent ! " screamed the Pigeon. 

" I'm not a serpent ! " said Alice, indignantly. " Let 
me alone ! " 

il Serpent, I say again ! " repeated the Pigeon, but in 
a more subdued tone, and added with a kind of sob, 
" I've tried every way, and nothing seems to suit 
them ! " 

" I haven't the least idea what you're talking about," 
said Alice. 

" I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, 
and I've tried hedges," the Pigeon went on, without 
attending to her; '"'but those serpents! There's no 
pleasing them ! " 

Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought 
there was no use in saying anything more till the 
Pigeon had finished. 

" As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs," 
said the Pigeon, " but I must be on the lookout for 



56 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

serpents night and day ! Why, I haven't had a wink 
of sleep these three weeks ! " 

" I'm very sorry you've been annoyed," said Alice, 
who was beginning to see its meaning. 

" And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood," 
continued the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, " and 
just as I was thinking I should be free of them at last, 
they must needs come wriggling down from the sky ! 
Ugh ! Serpent ! " 

"But I'm not a serpent, I tell you!' 1 said Alice, 
" I'm a I'm a " 

" Well ! What are you ? " said the Pigeon. " I can 
see you're trying to invent something! " 

" I — I'm a little girl," said Alice, rather doubtfully, 
as she remembered the number of changes she had gone 
through that day. 

" A likely story indeed ! " said the Pigeon in a tone 
of the deepest contempt. " I've seen a good many little 
girls in my time, but never one with such a neck as 
that ! Xo, no ! You're a serpent ; and there's no use 
denying it. I suppose you'll be telling me next that 
you never tasted an egg! " 

" I have tasted eggs, certainly," said Alice, who was 
a very truthful child ; " but little girls eat eggs quite 
as much as serpents do, you know." 

" I don't believe it," said the Pigeon ; " but if they 
do, why, then, they're a kind of serpent, that's all I 



can say." 



This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite 
silent for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the 
opportunity of adding, " You're looking for eggs, I 
know that well enough ; and what does it matter to me 
whether you're a little girl or a serpent ? " 

" It matters a good deal to me," said Alice, hastily ; 



ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 57 

" but I'm not looking for eggs, as it happens ; and if I 
was, I shouldn't want yours: I don't like them raw." 

" Well, be off, then ! " said the Pigeon, in a sulky 
tone, as it settled down again into its nest. Alice 
crouched down among the trees as well as she could, 
for her neck kept getting entangled among the branches, 
and every now and then she had to stop and untwist it. 
After a while she remembered that she still held the 
pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work 
very carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the 
other, and growing sometimes taller and sometirnes 
shorter, until she had succeeded in bringing herself 
down to her usual height. 

It was so long since she had been anything near 
the right size, that it felt quite strange at first, but 
she got used to it in a few minutes, and began talking 
to herself as usual. " Come, there's half my plan done 
now! How puzzling all these changes are! I'm never 
sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to another ! 
However, I've got back to my right size : the next thing 
is, to get into that beautiful garden — how is that to be 
done, I wonder ? " As she said this, she came sud- 
denly upon an open place, with a little house in it 
about four feet high. " Whoever lives there," thought 
Alice, " it'll never do to come upon them this size : why, 
I should frighten them out of their wits ! " So she be- 
gan nibbling at the right-hand bit again, and did not 
venture to go near the house till she had brought her- 
self down to nine inches high. 



CHAPTER VI. 



PIG AXD PEPPER. 



For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, 
and wondering what to do next, when suddenly a foot- 
man in livery came running out of the wood — (she con- 
sidered him to he a footman because he was in livery: 
otherwise, judging by his face only, she would have 
called him a fish)— and rapped loudly at the door with 
his knuckles. It was opened by another footman in 
livery, with a round face and large eyes like a frog; 
and both footmen, Alice noticed, had powdered hair 
that curled all over their heads. She felt very cu- 
rious to know what it was all about, and crept a little 
way out of the wood to listen. 

The Fish-Footman began by producing from under 
his arm a great 'letter, nearly as large as himself, and 
this he handed over to the other, saying in a solemn 
tone, " For the Duchess. An invitation from the 
Queen to play croquet." The Frog-Footman repeated, 
in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the 
words a little, " From the Queen. An invitation for 
the Duchess to play croquet." 

Then they both bowed low, and their curls got en- 
tangled together. 

Alice laughed so much at this that she had to run 
back into the wood for fear of their hearing her, and 
wdien she next peeped out the Fish-Footman was gone, 
58 



PIG AND PEPPER. 



59 




and the other was sitting on the ground near the door ? 
staring stupidly up into the sky. . 

Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked. 

" There's no sort of use in knocking/' said the Foot- 
man, " and that for two reasons. First, because 
I'm on the same side of the door as you are ; 
secondly, because they're making such a noise inside, 
no one could possibly hear you." And certainly there 
vms a most extraordinary noise going on within — a 
constant howling and sneezing, and every now and then 
a great crash, as if a dish or kettle had been broken 
to pieces. 

" Please, then," said Alice, " how am I to get in \ " 



60 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

" There might be some sense in your knocking," the 
Footman went on without attending to her, " If we had 
the door between us. For instance, if vou were inside, 
you might knock, and I conld let yon out, yon know." 
ITe was looking up into the sky all the time he was. 
speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly nncivil. 
"But perhaps he can't help it," she said to herself; 
" his eyes are so very nearly at the top of his head. But 
at any rate he might answer questions — How am I to 
get in ? " she repeated, aloud. 

" I shall sit here," the Footman remarked, " till to- 
morrow " 

At this moment the door of the house opened, and a 
large plate came skimming out, straight at the Foot- 
man's head: it just grazed his nose, and broke to pieces 
against one of the trees behind him. 

" or next day, maybe," the Footman continued 

in the same tone, exactly as if nothing had happened. 

"How am I to get in?" Alice asked again in a 
louder tone. 

"Are vou to get in at all?" said the Footman. 
" That's the first question, you know." 

It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told 
so. " It's really dreadful," she muttered to herself, 
" the way all the creatures argue. It's enough to 
drive one crazy ! " 

The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity 
for repeating his remark, with variations. " I shall 
sit here," he said, " on and off, for days and days." 

" But what am I to do ? " said Alice. 

" Anything you like," said the Footman, and began 
whistling. 

" Oh, there's no use in talking to him," said Alice, 
desperately ; " he's perfectly idiotic ! " And she opened 
the door and went in. 



PIG AND PEPPER. 



61 




The door led right into a large kitchen, which was 
full of smoke from one end to the other: the Duchess 
was sitting on a three-legged stool in the middle, nurs- 
ing a baby ; the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring a 
large cauldron which seemed to be full of soup. 

" There's certainly too much pepper in that soup ! " 
Alice said to herself, as well as she could for sneezing. 

There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even 
the Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, 
it was sneezing and howling alternately without a mo- 
ment's pause. The only two creatures in the kitchen 
that did not sneeze, were the cook, and a large cat 
which was sitting on the hearth and grinning from 
ear to ear. 

" Please, would you tell me," said Alice, a little tim- 
idly, for she was not quite sure whether it was good 



62 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

manners for her to speak first, " why your cat grins 
like that ! " 

" It's a Cheshire cat," said the Duchess, " and that's 
why. Pig!" 

She said the last word with such sudden violence that 
Alice quite jumped ; but she saw in another moment 
that, it was addressed to the baby, and not to her, so 
she took courage, and went on again: — 

"I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; 
in fact, I didn't know that cats could grin." 

" They all can," said the Duchess ; " and most of 
'em do." 

" I don't know of any that do," Alice said very po- 
litely, feeling quite pleased to have got into a con- 
versation. 

" You don't know much," said the Duchess ; " and 
that's a fact." 

Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and 
thought it would be as well to introduce some other 
subject of conversation. "While she was trying to fix 
on one, the cook took the cauldron of soup off the fire, 
and at once set to work throwing everything within 
her reach at the Duchess and the baby — the fire-irons 
came first ; then followed a shower of saucepans, plates, 
and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of them, even 
when they hit her; and the baby was howling so much 
already, that it was quite impossible to say whether the 
blows hurt it or not. 

" Oh, please mind what you're doing! " cried Alice, 
jumping up and down in an agony of terror. " Oh, 
there goes his precious nose ! " as an unusually large 
saucepan flew close by it, and very nearly carried it off. 

" If everybody minded their own business," said 
the Duchess in a hoarse growl, " the world would go 
round a deal faster than it does." 



PIG AND PEPPER. 63 

" Which would not be an advantage," said Alice, 
"who felt very glad to get an opportunity of showing 
off a little of her knowledge. " Just think what work 
it would make with the day and night! You see the 
earth takes twenty-four hours to turn round on its 
axis 

" Talking of axes," said the Duchess, " chop off her 
head!" 

Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if 
she meant to take the hint ; but the cook was busily 
stirring the soup, and seemed not to be listening, so 
she went on again : " Twenty-four hours, I think; or is 
it twelve? I " 

" Oh, don't bother me" said the Duchess: " I never 
could abide figures." And with that she began nurs- 
ing her child again, singing a sort of lullaby to it as she 
did so, and giving it a violent shake at the end of 
every line: — 

" Speak roughly to your little hoy, 
And beat him when he sneezes; 

He only does it to annoy, 
Because he knows it teases." 

Chorus 

(in which the cook and the baby joined) :— ~ 

" Wow! wow! wow! " 

While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, 
she kept tossing the baby violently up and down, and 
the poor little thing howled so, that Alice could hardly 
hear the words: — 



64 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

' I speak severely to my boy, 
I beat him when he sneezes; 
For he can thoroughly enjoy 
The pepper when he pleases! " 

Chorus 

"Wow! wow! wow!" 

"Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like! " said 
the Duchess to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she 
spoke. " I must go and get ready to play croquet 
with the Queen," and she hurried out of the room. 
The cook threw a frying pan after her as she 'vent, 
but it just missed her. 

Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, <»s it 
was a queer-shaped little creature, and held out its 
arms and legs in all directions, "just like a starfish," 
thought Alice. The poor little thing was snorting like 
a steam engine when she caught it, and kept doubling 
itself up and straightening itself out again, so that 
altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as much 
as she could do to hold it. 

As soon as she had made out the proper way of nurs- 
ing it, (which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, 
and then keep tight hold of its right ear and left foot, 
so as to prevent its undoing itself,) she carried it out 
into the open air. " If I don't take this child away 
with me," thought Alice, " they're sure to kill it in a 
day or two : wouldn't it be murder to leave it behind ? " 
She said the last words out loud, and the little thing 
grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time),, 
"Don't grunt," said Alice: " that's not at all a proper 
way of expressing yourself." 

The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anx- 



PIG AND PEPPER. 



65 



iously into its face to see what was the matter with 
it. There could be no doubt that it had a very turn-up 
nose, much more like a snout than a real nose; also its 
eyes were getting extremely small for a baby: alto- 
gether Alice did not like the look of the thing at all, 
" but, perhaps, it was only sobbing," she thought, and 
looked into its eyes again, to see if there were any 
tears. 




No, there were no tears. " If you're going to turn 
into a pig, my dear," said Alice, seriously, " I'll have 
nothing more to do with you. Mind, now ! " The poor 
little thing sobbed again, (or grunted, it was impos- 
sible to say which,) and they went on for some while 
in silence. 

Alice was just beginning to think to herself, " Now, 
what am I to do with this creature when I get it 



66 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

home ? " when it grunted again, so violently, that she 
looked down into its face in some alarm. This time 
there could be no mistake about it : it was neither more 
nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would be quite 
absurd for her to carry it any further. 

So she set the little creature down, and felt quite 
relieved to see it trot away quietly into the wood. " If 
it had grown up," she said to herself, " it would have 
been a dreadfully ugly child: but it makes rather a 
handsome pig, I think." And she began thinking over 
other children she knew, who might do very well as 
pigs, and was just saying to herself, " if one only knew 
the right way to change them " when she was a lit- 
tle startled by seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting on a 
bough of a tree a few vards off. 

The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked 
good-natured, she thought: still it had very long claws 
and a great many teeth, so she felt it ought to be treated 
with respect. 

" Cheshire Puss," she began, rather timidly, as she 
did not at all know whether it would like the name : 
however, it only grinned a little wider. " Come, it's 
pleased so far," thought Alice, and she went on, " would 
you tell me, please, which way I ought to walk from 
here ? " 

" That depends a good deal on where you want to 
get to," said the Cat. 

" I don't much care where " said Alice. 

" Then it doesn't matter which way you walk," said 
the Cat. 

" so long as I get somewhere," Alice added as an 

explanation. 

" Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, " if 
you only walk long enough." 

Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried 



PIG AND PEPPER. 



67 



-rf* 



^ 



^ss 



'&7 



o-ei 



«CT« 



"S3 



^'■> 



£' 



%mSg££& 



m &££, » 



another question. " What 
sort of people live about 
here ? ' ' 

' ' In that direction, ' ' the 
Cat said, waving its right 
paw round, ' ' lives a Hatter : 
and in that direction," wav- 



WJk 



¥ 



\y m 



you like : they're both mad. ' ' ^ '. 

"But I don't want to go ^§ 
among mad people," Alice ____ 
remarked. 

' ' Oh, you can't help that, ' ' 
said the Cat: "we're all 
mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." 

" How do you know I'm mad \ " said Alice. 

" You must be," said the Cat, " or you wouldn't 
have come here." 

Alice didn't think that proved it at all ; however, she 
went on : " and how do you know that you're mad ? " 



68 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND, 




" To begin with," said the Cat, " a dog's not mad. 
You grant that ? " 

" I suppose so," said Alice. 

" Well, then," the Cat went on, " you see a dog 
growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's 
pleased. Now / growl when I'm pleased, and wag 
my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad." 

' I call it purring, not growling," said Alice. 

" Call it what you like," said the Cat. " Do you 
play croquet with the Queen to-day ? " 

" I should like it very much," said Alice, " but I 
haven't been invited vet." 

" You'll see me there," said the Cat, and vanished. 

Alice was not much surprised at this, she was get- 
ting so well used to queer things happening. While she 
was still looking at the place where it had been, it sud- 
denly appeared again. 

" By-the-bye, what became of the baby ? " said the 
Cat. " I'd nearly forgotten to ask." 

" It turned into a pig," Alice answered, very quietly, 
just as if the Cat had come back in a natural way. 



PIG AND PEPPER. 69 

" I thought it would/' said the Cat, and vanished 
again. 

Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, 
but it did not appear, and after a minute or two she 
walked on in the direction in which the March Hare 
was said to live. " I've seen hatters before," she said 
to herself: " the March Hare will be much the most 
interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won't be rav- 
ing mad — at least not so mad as it was in March." As 
she said this, she looked up, and there was the Cat 
again, sitting on a branch of a tree. 

" Did you say pig, or fig ? " said the Cat. 

" I said pig," replied Alice ; " and I wish you 
wouldn't keep appearing and vanishing so suddenly: 
you make one quite giddy." 

" All right," said the Cat; and this time it vanished 
quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and 
ending with the grin, which remained some time after 
the rest of it had gone. 

" Well ! I've often seen a cat without a grin," 
thought Alice ; " but a grin without a cat. It's the most 
curious thing I ever saw in all my life ! " 

She had not gone much farther before she came in 
sight of the house of the March Hare ; she thought it 
must be the right house, because the chimneys were 
shaped like ears, and the roof was thatched with fur. 
It was so large a house, that she did not like to go 
nearer till she had nibbled some more of the left-hand 
bit of mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet 
high : even then she walked up toward it rather timidly, 
saying to herself, " Suppose it should be raving mad 
after all ! I almost wish I'd gone to see the Hatter 
instead ! " 



CHAPTER VII. 



A MAD TEA-PARTY. 



There was a table set out under a tree in front 
of the house, and the March Hare and the Hatter 
were having - tea at it : a Dormouse was sitting between 
them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it as 
a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking over 
its head. " Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse," 
thought Alice ; " only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't 
mind." 

The table was a large one, but the three were all 
crowded together at one corner of it : " No room ! No 
room ! " they cried out when they saw Alice coming. 
"There's plenty of room!" said Alice, indignantly, 
and she sat down in a large armchair at one end of the 
table. 

" Have some wine," the March Hare said, in an en- 
couraging tone. 

Alice looked all around the table, but there was noth- 
ing on it but tea. " I don't see any wine," she re- 
marked. 

" There isn't any," said the March Hare. 

" Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it," said 
Alice, angrily. 

" It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without 
being invited," said the March Hare. 

" I didn't know it was your table," said Alice ; " it's 
laid for a great many more than three." 
70 






A MAD TEA-PARTY. fl 

" Your hair wants cutting/' said the Hatter. He 
had been looking at Alice for some time with great 
curiosity, and this was his first speech. 

" You should learn not to make personal remarks," 
Alice said with some severity : " it's very rude." 

The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing 
this ; but all he said was, " Why is a raven like a writ- 
ing-desk ? " 

" Come, we shall have some fun now ! " thought 
Alice. " I'm glad they've begun asking riddles — I be- 
lieve I can guess that," she added aloud. 

" Do you mean that you think you can find out the 
answer to it ? " said the March Hare. 

" Exactly so," said Alice. 

" Then you should say what you mean," the March 
Hare went on. 

" I do," Alice hastily replied ; " at least — at least 
I mean what I say — that's the same thing, you know." 

" 'Not the same thing a bit ! " said the Hatter. 
" Why, you might just as well say that ' I see what I 
eat ' is the same thing as ' I eat what I see ' ! " 

" You might just as well say," added the March 
Hare, " .that ' I like what I get ' is the same thing as 
< I get what I like ' ! " 

" You might just as well say," added the Dormouse, 
who seemed to be talking in his sleep, " that ' I breathe 
when I sleep ' is the same thing as * I sleep when I 
breathe ' ! " 

" It is the same thing with you," said the Hatter, 
and here the conversation dropped, and the party sat 
silent for a minute, while Alice thought over all she 
could remember about ravens and writing-desks, which 
wasn't much. 

The Hatter was the first to break the silence. 
" What day of the month is it ? " he said, turning to 



72 ALICES ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 




Alice: lie had taken his watch out of his pocket, and 
was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and 
then, and holding it to his ear. 

Alice considered a little, and said, " The fourth." 



a 



Two days wrong!' 1 sighed the Hatter. 



I told 



you hutter wouldn't suit the works ! " he added, look- 
ing angrily at the March Hare. 

" It was the best hutter," the March Hare meekly re- 
plied. 

" Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well," 
the Hatter grumbled : " you shouldn't have put it in 
with the bread-knife." 

The March Hare took the watch and looked at it 
gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup of tea, and 
looked at it again : but he could think of nothing bet- 
ter to say than his first remark, " It was the best but- 
ter, you know." 

Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some 
curiosity. " What a funny watch ! " she remarked. 



A MAD TEA-PARTY. 73 

" It tells the day of the month, and doesn't tell what 
o'clock it is ! " 

" Why should it.? " muttered the Hatter. " Does 
your watch tell you what year it is? " 

" Of course not," Alice replied very readily : " hut 
that's because it stays the same year for such a long 
time together." 

" Which is just the case with mine/' said the Hat- 
ter. 

Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark 
seemed to her to have no sort of meaning in it, and 
yet it was certainly English. " I don't quite under- 
stand you," she said, as politely as she could. 

" The Dormouse is asleep again," said the Hatter, 
and he poured a little hot tea on to its nose. 

The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, 
without opening its eyes, " Of course, of course: just 
what I was going to remark myself." 

" Have you guessed the riddle yet ? " the Hatter said, 
turning to Alice again. 

" !NTo, I give it up," Alice replied : " what's the 
answer ? " 

" I haven't the slightest idea," said the Hatter. 

" ^ T or I," said the March Hare. 

Alice sighed wearily. " I think you might do some- 
thing better with the time," she said, " than wasting 
it in asking riddles that have no answers." 

" If you knew Time as well as I do," said the Hat- 
ter, " you wouldn't talk about wasting it. It's him" 

" I don't know what vou mean," said Alice. 

" Of course you don't ! " the Hatter said, tossing his 
head contemptuously. " I dare say you never even 
spoke to Time ! " 

" Perhaps not," Alice cautiously replied : " but I 
know I have to beat time when I learn music." 



74 



ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 




" Ah ! that accounts for it," said the Hatter. " He 
won't stand beating. Xow, if you only kept on good 
terms with him, he'd do almost anything von liked 
with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine 
o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: you'd 
only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the 
clock in a twinkling ! Half^ast one, time for din- 
ner ! " 

(" I only wish it was," the Alarch Hare said to 
itself in a whisper.) 

" That would be grand, certainly," said Alice, 
thoughtfully : " but then — I shouldn't be hungry for it, 
vou know." 

" Xot at first, perhaps," said the Hatter: "but you 
could keep it to half-past one as long as you liked." 

" Is that the way you manage ? " Alice asked. 

The Hatter shook his head mournfully. " Xot I," 

he replied. " We quarrelled last March just before 

he went mad, you know " (pointing with his tea- 
spoon at the March Hare,) " it was at the great 



A MAD TEA-PARTY. ?5 

concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to 
sing — 

' Twinkle, twinkle, little bat ! 
How I wonder what you're at!' 

You know the song perhaps ? " 

" I've heard something like it," said Alice. 

" It goes on, you know," the Hatter continued, " in 
this way: — 

' Up above the world you fly, 
Like a tea tray in the sky. 

Twinkle, twinkle " 



Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing 

in its sleep, " Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle " 

and went on so long that they had to pinch it to make it 
stop. 

" Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse," said the 
Hatter, "when the Queen bawled out: 'He's murder- 
ing the time ! Off with his head ! ' " 

" How dreadfully savage ! " exclaimed Alice. 

" And ever since that," the Hatter went on in a 
mournful tone, " he won't do a thing I ask ! It's al- 
ways six o'clock now." 

A bright idea came into Alice's head. " Is that the 
reason so many tea-things are put out here % " she 
asked. 

" Yes, that's it," said the Hatter, with a sigh ; " it's 
always tea-time, and we've no time to wash the things 
between whiles." 

" Then you keep moving round, I suppose ? " said 
Alice. 

" Exactly so," said the Hatter : " as the things get 
used up." 



76 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

" But when you come to the beginning again ? " 
Alice ventured to ask. 

" Suppose we change the subject," the March Hare 
interrupted, yawning. " I'm getting tired of this. I 
vote the young lady tells us a story." 

" I'm afraid I don't know one," said Alice, rather 
alarmed at the proposal. 

" Then the Dormouse shall ! " they both cried. 
" Wake up, Dormouse ! " And they pinched it on both 
sides at once. 

The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. " I wasn't 
asleep," he said, in a hoarse, feeble voice: "I heard 
every word you fellows were saying." 

" Tell us a story ! " said the March Hare. 

" Yes, please do ! " pleaded Alice. 

" And be quick about it," added the Hatter, " or 
you'll be asleep again before it's done." 

" Once upon a time there were three little sisters," 
the Dormouse began in a great hurry; ''and their 
names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived 
at the bottom of a well " 

" What did they live on ? " said Alice, who always 
took a great interest in questions of eating and drink- 
ing. 

" They lived on treacle," said the Dormouse, after 
thinking a minute or two. 

" They couldn't have done that, you know," Alice 
gently remarked : " they'd have been ill." 

"So they were," said the Dormouse; "very ill." 

Alice tried a little to fancy to herself what such an 
extraordinary way of living would be like, but it puz- 
zled her too much, so she went on : " But why did they 
live at the bottom of a well ? " 

" Take some more tea," the March Hare said to 
Alice, very earnestly. 



A MAD TEA-PARTY. 77 

u I've had nothing yet," Alice replied, in an offended 
tone, " so I can't take more." 

" You mean, you can't take less" said the Hatter : 
" it's very easy to take more than nothing." 

" Kobody asked your opinion," said Alice. 

" Who's making personal remarks now ? " the Hat- 
ter asked, triumphantly. 

Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she 
helped herself to some tea and bread and butter, and 
then turned to the Dormouse, and repeated her ques- 
tion. " Why did they live at the bottom of a well ? ' : 

The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think 
about, it, and then said, " It was a treacle-well." 

" There's no such thing! " Alice was beginning very 
angrily, but the Hatter and the March Hare went " Sh ! 
sh ! " and the Dormouse sulkily remarked, " If you 
can't be civil, you'd better finish the story for your- 
self." 

" ISTo, please go on ! " Alice said very humbly : " I 
won't interrupt you again. I dare say there may be 
one." 

" One, indeed ! " said the Dormouse, indignantly. 
However, he consented to go on. " And so these three 
little sisters — they were learning to draw, you know — " 

" What did they draw ? " said Alice, quite forgetting 
her promise. 

" Treacle," said the Dormouse, without considering 
at all this time. 

" I want a clean cup," interrupted the Hatter : " let's 
all move one place on." 

He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse fol- 
lowed him : the March Hare moved into the Dormouse's 
place, and Alice rather unwillingly took the place of 
the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got 
any advantage from the change : and Alice was a good 



78 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had 
just upset the milk jug into his plate. 

Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so 
she began very cautiously : " But I don't understand. 
Where did they draw the treacle from ? " 

" You can draw water out of a water-well," said the 
Hatter ; " so I should think you could draw treacle out 
of a treacle-well — eh, stupid?" 




" But they were in the well," Alice said to the Dor- 
mouse, not choosing to notice this last remark. 

Of course they were," said the Dormouse, — " well 



in." 



This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the 
Dormouse go on for some time without interrupting 
it. 

" They were learning to draw," the Dormouse went 
on, yawning and rubbing its eyes, for it was getting 
very sleepy ; " and they drew all manner of things — 
everything that begins with an M " 



A MAD TEA-PARTY. 79 

" Why with an M ? " said Alice. 

" Why not ? " said the March Hare. 

Alice was silent. 

The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time and 
was going off into a doze, but, on being pinched by the 
Hatter, it woke up again with a little shriek, and went 

on : " that begins with an M, such as mousetraps, 

and the moon, and memory, and muchness — you know 
you say things are * much of a muchness ' — did 
you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a much- 
ness % " 

" Really, now you ask me," said Alice, very much 
confused, " I don't think " 

" Then you shouldn't talk," said the Hatter. 

This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could 
bear: she got up in great disgust, and walked off: the 
Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the oth- 
ers took the least notice of her going, though she looked 
back once or twice, half hoping that they would call 
after her : the last time she saw them, they were trying 
to put the Dormouse into the teapot. 

" At any rate I'll never go there again ! " said Alice, 
as she picked her way through the wood. 

" It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my 
life!" 

Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the 
trees had a door leading right into it. " That's very cu- 
rious ! " she thought. " But everything's curious to- 
dav. I think I mav as well go in at once." And in 
she went. 

Once more she found herself in the long hall, and 
close to the little glass table. " ISTow, I'll manage better 
this time," she said to herself, and began by taking 
the little golden key, and unlocking the door that led 
into the garden. Then she set to work nibbling at the 



80 



ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 



mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her pocket) 
till she was about a foot high : then she walked down 
the little passage: and then — she found herself at last 
in the beautiful garden, among the bright flower beds 
and the cool fountains. 




CHAPTEE VIII. 

THE QUEEN'S CROQUET-GROUND. 

A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the gar- 
den : the roses growing on it were white, but there were 
three gardeners at it, busily painting them red. Alice 
thought this a very curious thing, and she went nearer 
to watch them, and just as she came up to them she 
heard one of them say, " Look out now, Five ! Don't 
go splashing paint over me like that 1 " 

" I couldn't help it," said Five, in a sulky tone ; 
" Seven jogged my elbow." 

On which Seven looked up and said, " That's right, 
Five ! Always lay the blame on others ! " 

' You'd better not talk ! " said Five. " I heard the 
Queen say only yesterday you deserved to be be- 
headed! " 

" What for ? " said the one who had spoken first. 

" That's none of your business, Two ! " said Seven. 

" Yes, it is his business ! " said Five, " and I'll tell 
him — it was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead 
of onions." 

Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun, 
" Well, of all the unjust things — " when his eyes 
chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stoood watching them, 
and he checked himself suddenly : the others looked 
round also ; and all of them bowed low. 

" Would you tell me, please," said Alice, a little 
timidly, " why you are painting those roses ? " 
6 81 



82 ILICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 




vm& 



*&&&$&. 



'Ss- 



:S 



Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. 
Two began, in a low voice, " Why, the fact is, you see, 
Miss, this here ought to have been a red rose-tree, and 
we put a white one in by mistake, and if the Queen 
was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, 
you know. So, you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore 
she comes, to — " At this moment Five, who had been 
anxiously looking across the garden, called out " The 
Queen ! The Queen ! ' and the three gardeners in- 
stantly threw themselves flat upon their faces. There 
was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice looked round, 
eager to see the Queen. 

First came ten soldiers earrving clubs ; these were 
all shaped like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, 
with their hands and feet at the corners: next the ten 
courtiers; these were ornamented all over with dia- 



( 

THE QUEENS CROQUET-GROUND. J3 

monds, and walked two and two, as the soldiers did. 
After these came the royal children ; there were ten of 
them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along 
hand in hand, in couples : they were all ornamented with 
hearts. Next came the guests, mostly Kings and 
Queens, and among them Alice recognized the White 
Rabbit : it was talking in a hurried, nervous manner, 
smiling at everything that was said, and went by with- 
out noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, 
carrying the King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion ; 
and, last of all this grand procession, came THE KING 
AND QUEEN OF HEARTS. 

Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to 
lie down on her face like the three gardeners, but she 
could not remember ever having heard of such a rule 
at processions; " and besides, what would be the use of 
a procession," she thought, " if people had all to lie 
down on their faces, so that they couldn't see it \ " So 
she stood where she was, and waited. 

When the procession came opposite to Alice, they 
all stopped and looked at her, and the Queen said 
severely, " Who is this ? " She said it to the Knave of 
Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply. 

" Idiot ! ' " said the Queen, tossing her head impa- 
tiently ; and, turning to Alice, she went on, " What's 
your name, child ? " 

" My name is Alice, so please your Majesty," said 
Alice, very politely ; but she added, to herself, " Why, 
they're only a pack of cards, after all. I needn't be 
afraid of them ! " 

" And who are these?" said the Queen, pointing to 
the three gardeners who were lying round the rose- 
tree ; for you see, as they were lying on their faces, and 
the pattern on their backs was the same as the rest of 
the pack, she could not tell whether they were garden- 



34: ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 



-ers, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her own chil- 
dren. 

" Plow should / know % " said Alice, surprised at her 
own courage. " It's no business of mine." 

The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after 
glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast, began 
screaming, "Off with her head! Off — " 

" Konsense ! " said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, 
and the Queen was silent. 

The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly 
•said, " Consider, my dear : she is only a child ! " 



THE QUEEN'S CROQUET-GROUND. 85 

The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said 
to the Knave, " Turn them over ! " 

The Knave did so, very carefully, with one 
foot. 

"Get up! " said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, 
and the three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began 
bowing to the King, the Queen, the royal children, and 
everybody else. 

" Leave off that ! " screamed the Queen. " You 
make me giddy." And then, turning to the rose-tree, 
she went on, " What have you been doing here % " 

" May it please your Majesty," said Two, in a very 
humble tone, going down on one knee as he spoke, " we 
were trying — " 

" I see ! " said the Queen, who had meanwhile been 
examining the roses. " Off with their heads ! " and 
the procession moved on, three of the soldiers remaining 
behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners, who ran 
to Alice for protection. 

" You shan't be beheaded ! " said Alice, and she put 
them into a large flower pot that stood near. The three 
soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, looking 
for them, and then quietly marched off after the others. 

" Are their heads off ? " shouted the Queen. 

" Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty ! " 
the soldiers shouted in reply. 

" That's right ! " shouted the Queen. " Can you 
play croquet ? " 

The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the 
question was evidently meant for her. 

" Yes ! " shouted Alice. 

" Come on, then ! " roared the Queen, and Alice 
joined the procession, wondering very much what would 
happen next. 

It's — it's a very fine day ! " said a timid voice at 



K 



86 ALICES ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

her side. She was walking by the 'White Rabbit, who 
was peeping anxiously into her face. 

"Very," said Alice: — " where's the Duchess?' 1 

" Hush ! Hush ! " said the Rabbit in a low, hurried 
tone. He looked anxiously over his shoulder as he 
spoke, and then raised himself upon tiptoe, put his 
mouth close to her ear, and whispered, " She's under 
sentence of execution." 

" What for I " said Alice. 

" Did you say ' What a pity ! ' ? " the Rabbit asked. 

" No, I didn't," said Alice: "I don't think it's at 
all a pity. I said ' What for \ ' " 

" She boxed the Queen's ears — " the Rabbit began. 
Alice gave a little scream of laughter. " Oh, hush ! ' 
the Rabbit whispered, in a frightened tone. " The 
Queen will hear you ! You see she came rather late, 
and the Queen said — " 

" Get to your places ! " shouted the Queen, in a voice 
of thunder, and people began running about in all di- 
rections, tumbling up against each other : however, they 
got settled down in a minute or two, and the game be- 
gan. 

Alice thought she had never seen such a curious cro- 
quet-ground in her life: it was all ridges and furrows; 
the croquet-balls were live hedge-hogs, and the mallets 
were live flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double 
themselves up and stand on their hands and feet, to 
make the arches. 

The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in man- 
aging her flamingo : she succeeded in getting its body 
tucked awav, comfortablv enoueh, under her arm, with 
its leg's hanging down, but generally, just as she had 
got its neck nicely straightened out, and was going to 
give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it would twist 
itself round and look up into her face, with such a puz- 



THE QUEEN'S CROQUET-GROUND. 



87 




zled expression that she could not help bursting out 
laughing: and when she had got its head down, and 
was going to begin again, it was very provoking to find 
that the hedgehog had unrolled itself, and was in the 
act of crawling away: besides all this, there was gen- 
erally a ridge or a furrow in the way wherever she 
w T anted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up 
soldiers were always getting up and walking off to other 
parts cf the ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion 
that it was a very difficult e;ame indeed. 

The players all played at once without waiting for 
turns, quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the 
hedgehogs; and in a very short time the Queen was in 
a furious passion, and went stamping about, and shout- 
ing, " Off with his head ! "or " Off with her head! " 
about once in a minute. 

Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had 
not as yet had any dispute with the Queen, but she 



SS ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

knew that it might happen any minute, " and then," 
thought she, " what would become of me ? They're 
dreadfully fond of beheading people here: the great 
wonder is, that there's any one left alive! ' 

She was looking about for some way of escape, and 
wondering whether she could get away without being 
seen, when she noticed a curious appearance in the air: 
it puzzled her very much at first, but after watching it 
a minute or two she made it out to be a grin, and she 
said to herself, "It's the Cheshire Cat: now I shall 
have somebody to talk to." 

" How are vou setting on ? " said the Cat, as soon as 

■ZOO 7 

there was mouth enough for it to speak with. 

Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. 
" It's no use speaking to it," she thought, " till its ears 
have come, or at least one of them." In another minute 
the whole head appeared, and then Alice put down her 
flamingo, and began an account of the game, feeling 
very glad she had some one to listen to her. The Cat 
seemed to think that there was enough of it now in 
sight, and no more of it appeared. 

" I don't think they play at all fairly," Alice began, 
in rather a complaining tone, " and they all quarrel so 
dreadfully one can't hear oneself speak — and they don't 
seem to have any rules in particular ; at least, if there 
are, nobody attends to them — and you've no idea how 
confusing it is all the things being alive ; for instance, 
there's the arch I've got to go through next walking 
about at the other end of the ground — and I should 
have croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it 
ran away when it saw mine coming ! " 

u How do you like the Queen ? " said the Cat, in a 
low voice. 

" "Not at all," said Alice : " she's so extremely — " 
Just then she noticed that the Queen was close behind 



THE QUEEN'S CROQUET-GROUND. 89 

her, listening: so she went on " — likely to win, that 
it's hardly worth while finishing the game." 

The Queen smiled and passed on. 

" Who are you talking to ? " said the King, coming 
up to Alice, and looking at the Cat's head with great 
curiosity. 

" It's a friend of mine — a Cheshire Cat," said Alice : 
" allow me to introduce it." 

"I don't like the look of it at all," said the King: 
" however, it may kiss my hand if it likes." 

" I'd rather not," the Cat remarked. 

" Don't be impertinent," said the King, " and don't 
look at me like that ! " He got behind Alice as he 
spoke. 

" A cat may look at a king," said Alice. " I've read 
that in some book, but I don't remember where." 

" Well, it must be removed," said the King very de- 
cidedly, and he called to the Queen, who was passing 
at the moment, " My dear ! I wish you would have this 
cat removed ! " 

The Queen had only one way of settling all difficul- 
ties, great or small. " Off with his head ! " she said 
without even looking round. 

" I'll fetch the executioner myself," said the King, 
eagerly, and he hurried off. 

Alice thought she might as well go back and see 
how the game was going on, as she heard the Queen's 
voice in the distance, screaming with passion. She 
had already heard her sentence three of the players to 
be executed for having missed their turns, and she did 
not like the look of things at all, as the game was in 
such confusion that she never knew whether it was her 
turn or not. So she went off in search of her hedge- 
hog. 

The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another 



90 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 




hedgehog, which seemed to Alice an excellent opportu- 
nity for croqueting one of them with the other: the only 
difficulty was, that her flamingo was gone across to the 
other side of the garden, where Alice could see it trying 
in a helpless sort of way to fly up into a tree. 

By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought 
it back, the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were 
out of sight : " but it doesn't matter much," thought 
Alice, " as all the arches are gone from this side of the 
ground." So she tucked it away under her arm, that 
it might not escape again, and went back to have a 
little more conversation with her friend. 

When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was sur- 



THE QUEEN'S CROQUET-GROUND. 91 

prised to find quite a large crowd collected round it: 
there was a dispute going on between the executioner, 
the King, and the Queen, who were all talking at once, 
while all the rest were quite silent, and looked very 
uncomfortable. 

The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by 
all three to settle the question, and they repeated their 
arguments to her, though, as they all spoke at once, 
she found it very hard to make out exactly what they 
said. 

The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't 
cut off a head unless there was a body to cut it off 
from : that he had never had to do such a thing before, 
and he wasn't going to begin at his time of life. 

The King's argument was, that anything that had 
a head could be beheaded, and that you weren't to talk 
nonsense. 

The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't 
done about it in less than no time, she'd have every- 
body executed, all round. (It was this last remark that 
had made the whole party look so grave and anxious.) 

Alice could think of nothing else to say but " It be- 
longs to the Duchess : you'd better ask her about it." 

" She's in prison," the Queen said to the execu- 
tioner : ," fetch her here." And the executioner went 
off like an arrow. 

The Cat's head began fading away the moment he 
was gone, and, by the time he had come back with the 
Duchess, it had entirely disappeared : so the King and 
the executioner ran wildly up and down looking for 
it, while the rest of the party went back to the game. 



CHAPTER IX. 

THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 

" You can't think how glad I am to see you again, 
you dear old thing! " said the Duchess, as she tucked 
her arm affectionately into Alice's, and they walked 
off together. 

Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant- 
temper, and thought to herself that perhaps it was only 
the pepper that had made her so savage when they met 
in the kitchen. " When I'm a Duchess," she said to 
herself, (not in a very hopeful tone though,) " I won't 
have any pepper in my kitchen at all. Soup does very 
well without — Maybe, it's always pepper that makes 
people hot-tempered," she went on, very much pleased 
at having found out a new kind of rule, " and vinegar 
that makes them sour — and camomile that makes them 
bitter — and — and barley-sugar and such things that 
make children sweet-tempered. I only wish people 
knew that: then they wouldn't be so stingy about it, 
you know — " 

She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, 
and was a little startled when she heard her voice close 
to her ear. " You're thinking about something, my 
dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I can't tell 
you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall re- 
member it in a bit." 

" Perhaps it hasn't one," Alice ventured to remark. 

" Tut, tut, child ! " said the Duchess. " Everything's 
92 



THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 



93 



got a moral, if only you can find it." And she squeezed 
herself up closer to Alice's side as she spoke. 

Alice did not much like her keeping so close to her : 
first, because the Duchess was very ugly, and secondly, 
because she was exactly the right height to rest her 
chin on Alice's shoulder, and it was an uncomfortably 




sharp chin. However, she did not like to be rude, so 
she bore it as well as she could. 

" The game's going on rather better now," she said, 
by way of keeping up the conversation a little. 

" 'Tis so," said the Duchess : " and the moral of that 
is — ' Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go 
round ! ' " 

" Somebody said," Alice whispered, " that it's done 
by everybody minding their own business ! " 



94 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

"Ah, well! It means much the same thing," said 
the Duchess, digging her sharp little chin into Alice's 
shoulder as she added, " and the moral of that is — ■ 
' Take care of the sense, and the sounds will take care 
of themselves.' " 

" How fond she is of finding morals in things ! ' : 
Alice thought to herself. 

" I daresay you're wondering why I don't put my 
arm round your waist," said the Duchess after a pause : 
" The reason is, that I'm doubtful about the temper of 
your flamingo. Shall I try the experiment ? ' 

" He might bite," Alice cautiously replied, net feel- 
ing at all anxious to have the experiment tried. 

"Very true," said the Duchess: "flamingoes and 
mustard both bite. And the moral of that is — ' Birds 
of a feather flock together.' " 

" Only mustard isn't a bird," Alice remarked. 

" Eight, as usual," said the Duchess : " what a clear 
way you have of putting things ! " 

" It's a mineral, I think," said Alice. 

" Of course it is," said the Duchess, who seemed 
ready to agree to everything that Alice said : " there's 
a large mustard-mine near here. And the moral of 
that is — ' The more there is of mine, the less there 
is of yours.' " 

" Oh, I know ! " exclaimed Alice, who had not at- 
tended to this last remark, " it's a vegetable. It doesn't 
look like one, but it is." 

" I quite agree with you," said the Duchess, " and 
the moral of that is — ' Be what you would seem to be ' 
or, if you'd like it put more simply — ' Never imagine 
yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear 
to others that what you were or might have been was 
not otherwise than what you had been would have ap- 
peared to them to be otherwise.' " 



THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 95 

" I think I should understand that better," Alice 
said, very politely, " if I had it written down : but I 
can't quite follow it as you say it," 

" That's nothing to what I could say if I chose," the 
Duchess replied in a pleased tone. 

" Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer 
than that," said Alice. 

" Oh, don't talk about trouble ! " said the Duchess. 
" I make vou a present of everything I've said as 
yet." 

" A cheap sort of present ! " thought Alice. " I'm 
glad they don't give birthday presents like that!" 
But she did not venture to say it out loud. 

" Thinking again \ " the Duchess asked, with an- 
other dig of her sharp little chin. 

" I've a right to think," said Alice, sharply, for 
she was beginning to feel a little worried. 

" Just about as much right," said the Duchess, " as 
pigs have to fly: and the m — " 

But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess' voice 
died away, even in the middle of her favorite word 
" moral," and the arm that was linked into hers began 
to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood the Queen 
in front of them, with her arms folded, frowning like 
a thunderstorm. 

" A fine day, your Majesty ! " the Duchess began, in 
a low, weak voice. 

" ISJow, I give you fair warning," shouted the Queen, 
stamping on the ground as she spoke ; " either you or 
your head must be off, and that in about half no time ! 
Take your choice ! " 

The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a 
moment. 

" Let's go on with the game," the Queen said to 
Alice, and Alice was too much frightened to say a 



96 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

word, but slowly followed her back to the croquet- 
ground. 

The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's 
absence, and were resting in the shade : however, the 
moment they saw her, they hurried back to the game, 
the Queen merely remarking that a moment's delay 
would cost them their lives. 

All the time they were playing the Queen never left 
off quarrelling with the other players, and shouting 
" Off with his head ! " or " Off with "her head ! " Those 
whom she sentenced were taken into custody by the sol- 
diers, who, of course, had to leave off being arches to 
do this, so that by the end of half an hour or so there 
were no arches left, and all the players, except the 
King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody, and 
under sentence of execution. 

Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said 
to Alice, " Have you seen the Mock Turtle vet ? ' 

" Xc," said Alice. " I don't even know what a 
Mock Turtle is." 

" It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from," 
said the Queen. 

" I never saw one, or heard of one," said Alice. 

" Come on, then," said the Queen, " and he shall tell 
you his history." 

As thev walked off together, Alice heard the King 
say in a low voice, to the company generally, " You 
are all pardoned." " Come, that's a good thing! " she 
said to herself, for she had felt quite unhappy at the 
number of executions the Queen had ordered. 

They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast 
asleep in the sun. (If you don't know what a Gryphon 
is, look at the picture.) "Up, lazy thing! " said the 
Queen, " and take this young lady to see the Mock Tur- 
tle, and to hear his history. I must go back and see 



THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 



9? 




after some executions I have ordered ; " and- she walked 
off, leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did 
not quite like the look of the creature, but on the 
whole she thought it would be quite as safe to stay with 
it as to go after that savage Queen : so she waited. 

The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes : then it 
watched the Queen till she was out of sight ; then it 
chuckled. " What fun ! " said the Gryphon, half to 
itself, half to Alice. 

" What is the fun ? " said Alice. 

" Why, she," said the Gryphon. " It's all her fancy, 
that : they never executes nobodv, you know. Come 
on ! " 

" Everybody says ' come on ! ' here," thought Alice, 
as she went slowly after it : "I never was so Ordered 
about before in all my life, never ! " 

They had not gone far before they saw the Mock 
Turtle in the distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little 
ledge of rock, and, as they came nearer, Alice could 
hear him sighing as if his heart would break. She pit- 



98 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

ied him deeply. " What is his sorrow ? " she asked the 
Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in 
the same words as before, " It's all his fancy that: 
lie hasn't got no sorrow, you know. Come on ! " 

So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at 
them with large eyes full of tears, but said nothing. 

" This here young lady," said the Gryphon, " she 
wants for to know your history, she do." 

" I'll tell it her," said the Mock Turtle, in a deep, 
hollow tone : " sit down both of you, and don't speak a 
word till I've finished." 

So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some min- 
utes. Alice thought to herself, " I don't see how he can 
ever finish, if he doesn't begin." But she waited pa- 
tiently. 

" Once," said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep 
sigh, " I was a real Turtle." 

These words were followed by a very long silence, 
broken only by an occasional exclamation of 
" Hjckrrh ! ' from the Gryphon, and the constant 
heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very 
nearly getting up and saying, " Thank you, sir, for 
your interesting story," but she could not help thinking 
there must be more to come, so she sat still and said 
nothing. 

" When we were little," the Mock Turtle went on at 
last, more calmly, though still sobbing a little now and 
then, " we went to school in the sea. The master was 
an old Turtle — we used to call him Tortoise — " 

" Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one ? " 
Alice asked. 

" We called him Tortoise because he taught us," 
said the Mock Turtle, angrily ; " really you are very 
dull!" 

" You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking 



THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 



99 




such a simple question," added the Gryphon, and then 
they both sat silent and looked at poor Alice, who 
felt ready to sink into the earth. At last the Gryphon 
said to the Mock Turtle, " Drive on, old fellow ! 
Don't be all day about it ! " and he went on in these 
words. 

" Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you 
mayn't believe it — " 

" I never said I didn't ! " interrupted Alice. 

" You did," said the Mock Turtle. 



100 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

" Hold your tongue ! ' added the Gryphon, before 
Alice could speak again. The Mock Turtle went 
on. 

" We had the best of educations — in fact, we went to 
school every day — " 

'I've been to a day-school, too," said Alice; "you 
needn't be so proud as all that." 

"With extras?" asked the Mock Turtle, a little 
anxiously. 

" Yes," said Alice, " we learned French and music." 

"And washing?" said the Mock Turtle. 

" Certainly not ! ' said Alice, indignantly. 

" Ah ! Then yours wasn't a really good school," 
said the Mock Turtle, in a tone of great relief. " Xow 
at ours they had at the end of the bill, ' French, music, 
and icashing — extra.' " 

" You couldn't have wanted it much," said Alice ; 
" living at the bottom of the sea." 

" I couldn't afford to learn it," said the Mock 
Turtle, with a sigh. " I only took the regular 
course." 

" What was that ? " inquired Alice. 

" Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with," 
the Mock Turtle replied: "and then the different 
branches of Arithmetic — Ambition, Distraction, Ug- 
lification, and Derision." 

" I never heard of ' Us'lification,' " Alice ventured 
to say. " What is it ? " 

The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. 
"Never heard of uclifving!' it exclaimed. "You 
know what to beautify is, I suppose ? " 

" Yes," said Alice, doubtfully : " it means — to — 
make — anything — prettier." 

" Well, then," the Gryphon went on, " if you don't 
know what to uglify is, you are a simpleton." 



THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 101 

Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more ques- 
tions about it, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and 
said, " What else had you to learn ? " 

"Well, there was Mystery," the Mock Turtle re- 
plied, counting off the subjects on his flappers, — " Mys- 
tery, ancient and modern, with Seaography : then 
Drawling — the Drawling-master was an old conger-eel, 
that used to come once a week : he taught us Drawling, 
Stretching, and Fainting in Coils." 

" What was that like ? " said Alice. 

" Well, I can't show it you, myself," the Mock Tur- 
tle said : " I'm too stiff. And the Gryphon never 
learnt it." 

" Hadn't time," said the Gryphon : " I went to the 
Classical master, though. He was an old crab, he 
was." 

" I never went to him," the Mock Turtle said, with 
a sigh: "he taught Laughing and Grief, they used to 
say." 

" So he did, so he did," said the Gryphon, sighing in 
his turn, and both creatures hid their faces in their 
paws. 

" And how many hours a day did you do lessons ? " 
said Alice, in a hurry to change the subject. 

" Ten hours the first dav," said the Mock Turtle : 
" nine the next, and so on." 

" What a curious plan ! " exclaimed Alice. 

" That's the reason they're called lessons," the Gry- 
phon remarked : " because they lessen from day to 
day." 

This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought 
it over a little before she made her next remark. 
" Then the eleventh day must have been a holi- 
day?" 

" Of course it was," said the Mock Turtle. 



102 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

" And how did you manage on the twelfth ? " Alice 
went on, eagerly. 

" That's enough about lessons," the Gryphon inter- 
rupted in a very decided tone : " tell her something 
about the games now." 



>^^^_^/ 



CHAPTER X. 

THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. 

The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back 
of one flapper across his eyes. He looked at Alice and 
tried to speak, but for a minute or two sobs choked his 
voice. " Same as if he had a bone in his throat," said 
the Gryphon, and it set to work shaking him and 
punching him in the back. At last the Mock Turtle 
recovered his voice, and, with tears running down his 
cheeks, he went on again : — 

" You may not have lived much under the sea — " 
(" I haven't," said Alice) — " and perhaps you were 
never even introduced to a lobster — " (Alice began to 
say " I once tasted — " but checked herself hastily, and 
said, " 'No, never") — "so you can have no idea what 
a delightful thing a Lobster Quadrille is ! " 

" No, indeed," said Alice. " What sort of a dance 
is it ? " 

" Why," said the Gryphon, " you' first form into a 
line along the seashore — " 

" Two lines ! " cried the Mock Turtle. " Seals, tur- 
tles, salmon, and so on : then, when you've cleared all 
the jelly-fish out of the way — " 

' That generally takes some time," interrupted the 
Gryphon. 

" — you advance twice — " 

" Each with a lobster as a partner ! *' cried the Gry- 
phon. 

" Of course," the Mock Turtle said : " Advance 
twice, set to partners — " 
103 



104 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 



u 



1 — change lobsters, and retire in same order," con- 
tinued the Gryphon. 

" Then, you know," the Mock Turtle went on, " you 
throw the — " 

" The lobsters ! " shouted the Gryphon, with a bound 
into the air. 

" — as far out to sea as you can — " 

'* Swim after them ! ' screamed the Gryphon. 

" Turn a somersault in the sea ! ' ' cried the Mock 
Turtle, capering wildly about. 

" Change lobsters again ! ' yelled the Gryphon, at 
the top of its voice. 

" Back to land again, and — that's all the first fig- 
ure," said the Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his 
voice, and the two creatures, who had been jumping 
about like mad things all this time, sat down again very 
sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice. 

" It must be a very pretty dance," said Alice, tim- 
idly. 

" Would you like to see a little of it ? ' said the 
Mock Turtle. 

" Very much, indeed," said Alice. 

" Come, let's try the first figure ! " said the Mock 
Turtle to the Gryphon. " We can do it without lob- 
sters, vou know. Which shall sing?" 

" Oh, you sing," said the Gryphon. " I've forgot- 
ten the words." 

So they began solemnly dancing round and round 
Alice, everv now and then treading on her toes when 
they passed too close, and waving their fore-paws to 
mark the time, while the Mock Turtle sang this, very 
slowly and sadly : — 

" Will you walk a little faster!" said a whiting to a 
snail, 



THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. 105 

" There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's tread- 
ing on my tail. 
See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all ad- 
vance ! 
They are waiting on the shingle — will you come and 
join the dance ? " 
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you 

join the dance? 
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, ivon't you 
join the dance? 

™ You can really have no notion how delightful it 

ivill be 
When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, 

out to sea ! " 
But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a 

look askance — 
Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not 

join the dance. 
Would not, could not, would not, could not, would 

not join the dance. 
Would not, could not, ivould not, could not, could 

not join the dance. 

'What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend 

replied, 
" There is another shore, you know, upon the other 

side. 
The further off from England the nearer is to 

France; 
Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join 
the dance." 
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you 

join the dance? 
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you 
join the dance? 



100 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

" Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch," 
said Alice, feeling very glad that it was over at last; 
" and I do so like that curious song about the whit- 
ing ! » 

" Oh, as to the whiting," said the Mock Turtle, 
" thev — vou've seen them, of course ? " 

" Yes," said Alice, " I've often seen them at 
dinn — " she checked herself hastily. 

" I don't know where Dinn may be," said the Mock 
Turtle, " but if you've seen them so often, of course 
vou know what they're like." 

" I believe so," Alice replied thoughtfully. " They 
have their tails in their mouths; — and they're all over 
crumbs." 

" You're wrong about the crumbs," said the Mock 
Turtle: "crumbs would all wash off in the sea. But 
they have their tails in their mouths; and the reason 
is — " here the Mock Turtle yawned and shut his eyes. — 
" Tell her about the reason and all that," he said to 
the Gryphon. 

" The reason is," said the Gryphon, " that they 
would go with the lobsters to the dance. So they got 
thrown out to sea. So they had to fall a long way. 
So they got their tails fast in their mouths. So they 
couldn't get them out again. That's all." 

" Thank you," said Alice, " it's very interesting. I 
never knew so much about a whiting before." 

" I can tell vou more than that, if you like," said 
the Grvphon. " Do vou know whv it's called a whit- 



1% 



g?" 

it 



I never thought about it," said Alice. "Why?' : 
"It does {lie boots and shoes/' the Gryphon replied 

very solemnly. 

Alice was thoroughly puzzled. " Does the boots and 

shoes ! " she repeated in a wondering tone. 



THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. 107 

" Why, what are your shoes done with ? " said the 
Gryphon. " I mean, what makes them so shiny ? " 

Alice looked down at them, and considered a little 
before she gave her answer. " They're done with black- 
ing, I believe." 

" Boots and shoes under the sea," the Gryphon went 
on in a deep voice, " are done with whiting. !Now you 
know." 

" And what are they made of ? " Alice asked, in a 
tone of great curiosity. 

" Soles and eels, of course," the Gryphon replied, 
rather impatiently : " any shrimp could have told you 
that." 

" If I'd been the whiting," said Alice, whose 
thoughts were still running on the song, " I'd have said 
to the porpoise, ' Keep back, please : we don't want 
you with us ! ' " 

" They were obliged to have him with 'them," the 
Mock Turtle said : " no wise fish would go anywhere 
without a porpoise." 

" Wouldn't it really ? " said Alice, in a tone of great 
surprise. 

"Of course not," said the Mock Turtle: "why, if 
a fish came to me, and told me he was going a journey, 
I should say, ' With what porpoise ? ' " 

" Don't you mean ' purpose ? ' " said Alice. 

" I mean what I say," the Mock Turtle replied, in 
an offended tone. And the Gryphon added, " Come, 
let's hear some of your adventures." 

" I could tell you my adventures — beginning from 
this morning," said Alice, a little timidly : " but it's 
no use going back to yesterday, because I was a differ- 
ent person then." 

" Explain all that," said the Mock Turtle. 

" No, no ! the adventures first," said the Gryphon, in 



108 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

an impatient tone : " explanations take such a dreadful 
time." 

So Alice began telling them her adventures from the 
time when she first saw the White Rabbit : she was a 
little nervous about it just at first, the two creatures 
got so close to her, one on each side, and opened their 
eyes and mouths so very wide, but she gained courage 
as she went on. Her listeners were perfectly quiet till 
she got to the part about her repeating " You are old, 
Father William/' to the Caterpillar, and the words all 
coming different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a 
long breath, and said, " That's very curious." 

" It's all about as curious as it can be," said the 
Gryphon. 

" It all came different! " the Mock Turtle repeated, 
thoughtfully. " I should like to hear her try and re- 
peat something now. Tell her to begin." He looked 
at the Gryphon as if he thought it had some kind of 
authority over Alice. 

" Stand up and repeat ' 'Tis the voice of the slug- 
gard/ " said the Gryphon. 

" How the creatures order one about, and make one 
repeat lessons ! " thought Alice. " I might just as well 
be at school at once." However, she got up, and began 
to repeat it, but her head was so full of the Lobster 
Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was saying, 
and the words came very queer indeed :— 

'Tis the voice of the lobster; I heard him declare, 
' You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my 

hair! ' 
As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose 
Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes/' 

" That's different from what / used to say when I 
was a child," said the Gryphon. 



THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. 



109 



" Well, I never heard it before," said the Mock 
Turtle ; " but it sounds uncommon nonsense." 

Alice said nothing: she had sat down again with 
her face in her hands, wondering if _ anything would 
ever happen in a natural way again. 

" I should like to have it explained," said the Mock 
Turtle. 




" She can't explain it," said the Gryphon, hastily. 
" Go on with the next verse." 

" But about his toes ? " the Mock Turtle persisted. 
" How could he -turn them out with his nose, you 
know ? " 

"It's the first position in dancing," Alice said: but 



HO ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

she was dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and 
longed to change the subject. 

" Go on with the next verse," the Gryphon repeated, 
impatiently : " it begins ' / passed by his garden. ' 

Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure 
it would all come wrong, and she went on in a trem- 
bling voice : — 

" I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, 
How the owl and the oyster were sharing the pie — " 

" What is the use of repeating all that stuff," the 
Mock Turtle interrupted, " if you don't explain it as 
you go on ? It's by far the most confusing thing I 
ever heard ! " 

" Yes, I think you'd better leave off," said the Gry- 
phon, and Alice was only too glad to do so. 

" Shall we try another figure of the Lobster 
Quadrille ? " the Gryphon went on. " Or would you 
like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song ? " 

" Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be 
so kind," Alice replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon 
said, in a rather offended tone, " ITm ! No account- 
ing for tastes ! Sing her ' Turtle Soup,' will you, old 
fellow ? " 

The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a 
voice sometimes choked with sobs, to sing this : — 

" Beaut if id Soup, so rich and green, 
Waiting in a hot tureen! 
Who for such dainties would not stoop? 
Soup of the Evening, beautiful Soup! 
Soup of the Evening, beautiful Soup! 

Beau — ootiful Soo — oop! 

Beau — ootiful Soo — oop! 
Soo — oop of the e — e — evening, 

Beautiful, beautiful Soup! 



THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. m 

Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish, 
Game, or any other dish? 
Who would not give all else for two p 
enny worth only of beautiful Soup? 
Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? 

Beau — o o t ifu I So o — o op! 

Beau — ootifid Soo — oop! 
Soo — oop of the e — e — evening, 

Beautiful, beauti—FUL SOUP!" 



u 



Chorus again ! " cried the Gryphon, and the Mock 
Turtle had just begun to repeat it, when a cry of " The 
trial's beginning ! " was heard in the distance. 

" Come on ! " cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice 
by the hand, it hurried off, without waiting for the end 
of the song. 

" What trial is it ? " Alice panted as she ran, but 
the Gryphon only answered, " Come on ! " and ran the 
faster, while more and more faintly came, carried on 
the breeze that followed them, the melancholy words : — 

Soo — oop of the e — e — evening, 
Beautifid, beautiful Soup! 







CHAPTER XL 



WHO STOLE THE TARTS. 



The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on 
their throne when they arrived, with a great crowd 
assembled about them — all sorts of little birds and 
beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards : the Knave 
was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier 
on each side to guard him ; and near the King was 
the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one hand, and 
a scroll of parchment in the other. In the very mid- 
dle of the court was a table, with a large dish of tarts 
upon it : they looked so good, that it made Alice quite 
hungry to look at them — " I wish they'd get the trial 
done," she thought, " and hand round the refresh- 
ments ! ' But there seemed to be no chance of this, so 
she began looking at everything about her to pass away 
the time. 

Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but 
she had read about them in books, and she was quite 
pleased to find that she knew the name of nearly every- 
thing there. " That's the judge," she said to herself, 
" because of his great wig." 

The judge, by the way, was the King, and as he 
wore his crown over the wig, (look at the frontispiece 
if you want to see how he did it,) he did not look at all 
comfortable, and it was certainly not becoming. 

" And that's the jury-box," thought Alice, " and 
those twelve creatures," (she was obliged to say " crea- 
112 



WHO STOLE THE TARTS? H3 

tures," you see, because some of them were animals, 
and some were birds,) " I suppose they are the jurors." 
She said this last word two or three times over to her- 
self, being rather proud of it : for she thought, and 
rightly too, that very few little girls of her age knew 
the meaning of it at all. However, " jurymen " would 
have done just as well. 

The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on 
slates. " What are they doing ? " Alice whispered to 
the Gryphon. " They can't have anything to put down 
yet, before the trial's begun." 

" They're putting down their names," the Gryphon 
whispered in reply, " for fear they should forget them 
before the end of the trial." 

" Stupid things ! " Alice began in a loud, indignant 
voice, but she stopped herself hastily, for the White 
Rabbit cried out, " Silence in the court ! " and the 
King put on his spectacles and looked anxiously round, 
to make out who was talking. 

Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over 
their shoulders, that all the jurors were writing down 
" stupid things ! " on their slates, and she could even 
make out that one of them didn't know how to spell 
" stupid," and that he had to ask his neighbor to tell 
him. " A nice muddle their slates'll be in before the 
trial's over ! " thought Alice. 

One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This, 
of course, Alice could not stand, and she went round 
the court and got behind him, and very soon found an 
opportunity of taking it away. She did it so quickly 
that the poor little juror (it was Bill, the Lizard) could 
not make out at all what had become of it ; so, after 
hunting all about for it, he was obliged to write with 
one finger for the rest of the day ; and this was of very 
little use, as it left no mark on the slate. 
8 



114 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

<k Herald, read the accusation ! " said the King. 

On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the 
trumpet, and then unrolled the parchment scroll, and 
read as follows : — 

" The Queen of Hearts, she 7>iade some tarts, 
All on a summer day: 
The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts, 
And took them quite away!" 



a 



Consider your verdict," the King said to his jury. 




" Not yet, not yet ! " the Rabbit hastily interrupted. 
" There's a great deal to come before that ! ' 

"Call the first witness," said the King; and the 
White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and 
called out, " First witness ! " 

The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with 



WHO STOLE THE TARTS ? 115 

a teacup in one hand, and a piece of bread and butter 
in the other. " I beg pardon, your Majesty," he began, 
" for bringing these m : but I hadn't quite finished my 
tea when I was sent for." 

" You ought to have finished," said the King. 
" When did you begin ? " 

The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had 
followed him into the court, arm-in-arm with the Dor- 
mouse. " Fourteenth of March, I think it was," he 
said. 

" Fifteenth," said the March Hare. 

" Sixteenth," added the Dormouse. 

" Write that down," the King said to the jury, and 
the jury eagerly wrote down all three dates on their 
slates, and then added them up, and reduced the an- 
swer to shillings and pence. 

" Take off your hat," the Kino- said to the Hatter. 

" It isn't mine," said the Hatter. 

'Stolen! " the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, 
who instantly made a memorandum of the fact. 

" I keep them to sell," the Hatter added, as an ex- 
planation : " I've none of my own. I'm a hatter." 

Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began 
staring hard at the Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted. 

""'Give your evidence," said the King; "and don't 
be nervous, or I'll have you executed on the spot." 

This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: 
he kept shifting from one foot to the other, looking 
uneasily at the Queen, and in his confusion he bit a 
large piece out of his teacup instead of the bread and 
butter. 

Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sen- 
sation, which puzzled her a good deal until she made 
out what it was : she was beginning to grow larger 
again, and she thought at first she would get up and 



growing 



u 



116 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

leave the court ; but on second thoughts she decided to 
remain where she was as long as there was room for 
her. 

" I wish you wouldn't squeeze so," said the Dor- 
mouse, who was sitting next to her. " I can hardly 
breathe." 

"I can't help it," said Alice, very meekly: "I'm 
ring." 

You've no right to grow here," said the Dormouse. 
Don't talk nonsense," said Alice more boldly: 
" you know you're growing, too." 

" Yes, but / grow at a reasonable pace," said the 
Dormouse : " not in that ridiculous fashion." And 
he sot up very sulkily and crossed over to the other 
side of the court. 

All this time the Queen had never left off staring 
at the Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse crossed the 
court, she said to one of the officers of the court, 
" Bring me the list of the singers in the last concert ! ' 
on which the wretched Hatter trembled so, that he 
shook both his shoes off. 

" Give your evidence," the King repeated angrily, 
11 or I'll have you executed, whether vou're nervous or 
not." 

" I'm a poor man, your Majesty," the Hatter began 
in a trembling voice, " and I hadn't but just begun 
my tea— not above a week or so — and what with the 
bread and butter getting so thin — and the twinkling of 

CO O 

the tea " 



"The twinkling of the wliat? " said the King. 
" It hcrjan with the tea," the Hatter replied. 
" Of course twinkling begins with a T ! " said the 
King sharply. " Do you take me for a dunce ? Go 



on!" 



" I'm a poor man," the Hatter went on, " and most 



WHO STOLE THE TARTS? 



117 



things twinkled after that — only the March Hare 
said " 

" I didn't! " the March Hare interrupted, in a great 
hurry. 

" You did ! " said the Hatter. 

" I deny it ! " said the March Hare. 

" He denies it," said the King: "leave out that 
part." 

" Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said — " the Hatter 




went on, looking anxiously round to see if he would 
deny it too : but the Dormouse denied nothing, being 
fast asleep. 

" After that," continued the Hatter, " I cut some 
more bread and butter " 

" But what did the Dormouse say ? " one of the jury 
asked. 

" That I can't remember," said the Hatter. 

" You must remember," remarked the King, " or 
I'll have you executed." 



113 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread 
and butter, and went down on one knee. " I'm a poor 
man, your majesty," he began. 

" You're a very poor speaker/' said the King. 

Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was imme- 
diately suppressed by the officers of the court. (As 
that is rather a hard word, I will just explain to you 
how it was done. They had a large canvas bag, which 
tied up at the mouth with strings : into this they slipped 
the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat upon it.) 

" I'm glad I've seen that done," thought Alice. 
" I've so often read in the newspapers, at the end of 
trials, ' There was some attempt at applause, which 
was immediately suppressed by the officers of the 
court,' and I never understood what it meant till 
now." 

" If that's all vou know about it, you may stand 
down," continued the King. 

"I can't go no lower," said the Hatter: " I'm on 
the floor, as it is." 

" Then you may sit down," the King replied. 

Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was sup- 
pressed. 

" Come, that finishes the guinea-pigs ! " thought 
Alice. " Xow we shall get on better." 

" I'd rather finish my tea," said the Hatter, with an 
anxious look at the Queen, who was reading the list 
of singers. 

" You may go," said the King, and the Hatter hur- 
riedly left the court, without even waiting to put his 
shoes on. 

" and just take his head off outside," the Queen 

added to one of the officers ; but the Hatter was out 
of sight before the officer could get to the door. 

" Call the next witness ! " said the King. 



WHO STOLE THE TARTS? 



119 



The next witness was the Duchess' cook. She car- 
ried the pepper-box in her hand ; and Alice guessed 
who it was, even before she got into the court, by the 
way the people near the door began sneezing all at 
once. 

" Give your evidence," said the King. 

" Shan't," said the cook. 

The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, 
who said in a low voice, " Your Majesty must cross- 
examine this witness." 




a 



Well, if I must, I must," the King said with a 
melancholy air, and, after folding his arms and frown- 
ing at the cook till his eyes were nearly out of sight, 
he said in a deep voice, " What are tarts made of?" 

" Pepper, mostly," said the cook. 

" Treacle," said a sleepy voice behind her. 

" Collar that Dormouse ! " the Queen shrieked out. 
" Behead that Dormouse ! Turn that Dormouse out 
of court ! Suppress him ! Pinch him ! Off with his 
whiskers ! " 

For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, 
getting the Dormouse turned out, and, by the time they 
had settled down again, the cook had disappeared. 



120 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

" Never mind ! " said the King, with an air of great 
relief. " Call the next witness." And he added in an 
undertone to the Queen, " Keally, my dear, you must 
cross-examine the next witness. It quite makes my 
forehead ache ! " 

Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled ever 
the list, feeling very curious to see what the next wit- 
ness would be like, " — for they haven't got much evi- 
dence yet" she said to herself. Imagine her surprise, 
when the White Rabbit read out, at the top of his shrill 
little voice, the name " Alice ! " 



CHAPTEK XII. 



Alice's evidence. 



" Here ! " cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry 
of the moment how large she had grown in the last 
few minutes, and she jumped up in such a hurry that 
she tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her skirt, 
upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the crowd 
below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding 
her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accident- 
ally upset the week before. 

" Oh, I beg your pardon ! " she exclaimed in a tone 
of great dismay, and began picking them up again as 
quickly as she could, for the accident of the goldfish 
kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of 
idea that they must be collected at once and put back 
into the jury-box, or they would die. 

" The trial cannot proceed," said the King, in a very 
grave voice, " until all the jurymen are back in their 
proper places — all" he repeated with great emphasis, 
looking hard at Alice as he said so. 

Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her 
haste, she had put the Lizard in head downwards, and 
the poor little thing was waving its tail about in a mel- 
ancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon 
got it out again, and put it right ; " not that it signifies 
much," she said to herself; " I should think it would 
be quite as much use in the trial one way up as the 
other." 

As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the 
shock of being upset, and their slates and pencils had 
121 



122 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 



been found and handed back to them, they set to work 
very diligently to write out a history of the accident, 
all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome 
to do anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing 
up into the roof of the court. 




" What do you know about this business ? " the King 
said to Alice. 

" Nothing," said Alice. 

"Nothing whatever?" persisted the King. 

Nothing whatever," said Alice. 

That's very important," the King said, turning to 






ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 123 

the jury. They were just beginning to write this down 
on their slates, when the White Rabbit interrupted : 
" Cniinportant, your Majesty means, of course," he 
said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making 
faces at him as he spoke. 

" E/mmportant, of course, I meant," the King has- 
tily said, and went on to himself in an undertone, " im- 
portant — unimportant — unimportant — important " 

as if he were trying which word sounded best. 

Some of the jury wrote it down " important," and 
some " unimportant." Alice could see this, as she 
was near enough to look over their slates ; " but it 
doesn't matter a bit," she thought to herself. 

At this moment the King, who had been for some 
time busily writing in his notebook, called out 
" Silence ! " and read out from his book, " Rule Forty- 
two. All persons more than a mile high to leave the 
court." 

Everybody looked at Alice. 

" I'm not a mile high," said Alice. 

" You are," said the King. 

" Nearly two miles high," added the Queen. 

" Well, I shan't go, at any rate," said Alice ; " be- 
sides, that's not a regular rule: you invented it just 
now." 

" It's the oldest rule in the book," said the King. 

" Then it ought to be Number One," said Alice. 

The King turned pale, and shut his notebook hastily. 
" Consider your verdict," he said to the jury, in a low, 
trembling voice. 

" There's more evidence to come yet, please your 
Majesty," said the White Rabbit, jumping up in a 
great hurry ; " this paper has just been picked up." 

"WTiat's in it?" said the Queen. 

" I haven't opened it yet," said the White Rabbit, 



124 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

" but it seems to be a letter, written by the prisoner to 
— to somebody." 

" It must have been that," said the King, " unless 
it was written to nobody, which isn't usual, you know." 

" Who is it directed to ( " said one of the juryman. 

"It isn't directed at all," said the White Rabbit; 
" in fact, there's nothing written on the outside." He 
unfolded the paper as he spoke, and added, " It isn't 
a letter after all : it's a set of verses." 

" Are they in the prisoner's handwriting ? ' : asked 
another of the jurymen. 

" Xo, they're not," said the White Rabbit, "and 
that's the queerest thing about it." (The jury all 
looked puzzled.) 

" He must have imitated somebody else's hand," said 
the King. (The jury all brightened up again.) 

" Please your majesty," said the Knave, " I didn't 
write it, and they can't prove I did : there's no name 
signed at the end." 

" If you didn't sign it," said the King, " that only 
makes the matter worse. You must have meant some 
mischief, or else you'd have signed your name like an 
honest man." 

There was a general clapping of hands at this: it 
was the first reallv clever thing the King had said that 
day. 

" That proves his guilt," said the Queen. 

" It proves nothing of the sort ! " said Alice. " Why, 
vou don't even know what they're about ! " 

" Read them," said the King. 

The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. " Where 
shall I begin, please your Majesty I" he asked. 

" Begin at the beginning," the King said, gravely, 
" and go on till you come to the end : then stop." 

These were the verses the White Rabbit read : — 



ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 125 

" They told me you had teen to her, 
And mentioned me to him: 
She gave me a good character, ( 

But said I could not swim. 

. He sent them word I had not gone 
(We know it to be true) : 
If she should push the matter on, 
What would become of you? 

I gave her one, they gave him two, 

You gave us three or more; 
They all returned from him to you, 

Though they were mine before. 

If I or she should chance to be 

Involved in this affair, 
He trusts to you to set them free, 

Exactly as we were. 

My notion was that you had been 

(Before she had this fit) 
An obstacle that came between 

Him, and ourselves, and it. 

Don't let him knoiv she liked them best, 

For this must ever be 
A secret, kept from all the rest, 

Between yourself and me." 

" That's the most important piece of evidence we've 
heard yet," said the King, rubbing his hands ; " so now 
let the jury " 

" If any one of them can explain it," said Alice, 
(she had grown so large in the last few minutes that 



12(5 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

she wasn't a bit afraid of interrupting him,) " I'll 
give him sixpence. I don't believe there's an atom of 
meaning in it." 

The jury all wrote down on their slates, ' f She 
doesn't believe there's an atom of meaning in it," but 
none of them attempted to explain the paper. 

" If there's no meaning in it," said the -King, " that 
saves a world of trouble, vou know, as we needn't 
try to find any. And yet I don't know," he went on, 
spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking at 
them with one eye ; " I seem to see some meaning in 
them, after all. ' — said I could not swim — ' you can't 
swim, can you ? " he added, turning to the Knave. 

The Knave shook his head sadly. " Do I look like 
it?" he said. (Which he certainly did not, being 
made entirely of cardboard." 

" All right, so far," said the King, and he went 
on muttering over the verses to himself: ' ' We know 
it to he true — ' that's the jury, of course — ' I gave her 
one, they gave him two — ' why, that must be what he 
did with the tarts, you know — " 

''But it goes on 'they all returned from him to 
you' " said Alice. 

"Why, there they arc!' said the King, trium- 
phantly, pointing to the tarts on the table. " Noth- 
ing can be clearer than that. Then again — ' before she 
had this fit — ' you never had fits, my dear, I think? " 
he said to the Queen. 

"Never!" said the Queen furiously, throwing an 
inkstand at the Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortu- 
nate little Bill had left off writing on his slate with one 
finger, as he found it made no mark; but he now hastily 
began again, using the ink, that was trickling down 
his face, as long as it lasted.) 

" Then the words don't fit you," said the King, look- 



ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 



127 




ing round the 
court with a smile. 
There was a dead 
silence. 

" It's a pun! " 
the King added in 
an angry tone, 
a n d everybody 
laughed. " Let 
the jury consider 
their verdict, ' ' the 
King said, for 
about the twenti- 
eth time that day. 

"No, no! "said 
the Queen. "Sen- 



tence first — verdict afterward? . " 

"Stuff and nonsense!" said Alice loudly. "The 
idea of havinc; the sentence first ! " 



-o 



" Hold your tongue ! " said the Queen, turning pur- 
ple. 

" I won't ! " said Alice. 

" Off with her head ! " the Queen shouted at the top 
of her voice. Nobody moved. 

"Who cares for you?" said Alice (she had growjn 



128 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

to her full size by this time.) " You're nothing but . 
pack of cards ! " *" 

At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and 
came flying down upon her; she gave a little scream, 
half of fright and half of anger, and tried to beat them 
off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her head 
in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away 
some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the 
trees on to her face. 

"Wake up, Alice, dear!" said her sister; " why, 
what a long sleep you've had ! " 

"Oh, I've had such a curious dream! " said Alice, 
and she told her sister, as well as she could remember 
them, all these strange Adventures of hers that you 
have just been reading about; and when she had fin- 
ished, her sister kissed her, and said, " It was a curious 
dream, dear, certainly : but now run in to your tea ; 
it's getting late." So Alice got up and ran off, thinking 
while she ran, as well she might, what a wonderful 
dream it had been. 



But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning 
her head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and 
thinking of little Alice and all her wonderful Adven- 
tures, till she too began dreaming, after a fashion, 
and this was her dream : — ■ 

First, she dreamed of little Alice herself: — once 
again the tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and 
the bright, eager eyes were looking into hers — she could 
hear the very tones of her voice, and see that queer 
little toss of her head, to keep back the wandering hair 
that would always get into her eyes — and still as she 
listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place around 



ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 



129 



her became alive with the strange creatures of her little 
sister's dream. 

The long grass rustled at her feet as the White 
Rabbit hurried by — the frightened Mouse splashed his 




way through the neighboring pool — she could hear the 
rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends 
shared their never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of 
the Queen ordering off her unfortunate guests to execu- 



130 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 

tion — once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the 
Duchess' knee, while plates and dishes crashed around 
it — once more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeak- 
ing of the Lizard's slate pencil, and the choking of the 
suppressed guinea-pigs, filled the air, mixed up with 
the distant sob of the miserable Mock Turtle. 

So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed 
herself in Wonderland, though she knew she had but 
to open them again and all would change to dull reality 
— the grass would be only rustling in the wind, and the 
pool rippling to the waving of the reeds — the rattling 
teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, and the 
Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd boy 
— and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gry- 
phon, and all the other queer noises, would change 
(she knew) to the confused clamor of the busy farm- 
yard — while the lowing of the cattle in the distance 
would take the place of the Mock Turtle's heavy sobs. 

Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little 
sister of hers would, in the after time, be herself a 
grown woman; and how she would keep, through all 
her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her 
childhood : and how she would gather about her other 
little children, and make their eyes bright and eager 
with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream 
of Wonderland of long ago : and how she would feel 
with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in 
all their simple joys, remembering her own child life, 
and the happy summer days. 

THE END. 



DRAMATIS PERSONS. 



(As arranged before commencement of game.) 



White, 
pieces. PAWNS. 

Tweedledee Daisy. 

Unicorn Haigha. 

Sheep Oyster. 

W. Queen "Lily." 

W. King Fawn. 

Aged man Oyster. 

W. Knight Hatta. 

Tweedledum Daisy. 



Red. 



pawns. 



PIECES. 



Daisy Humpty Dumpty. 

Messenger.. Carpenter. 

Oyster Walrus. 

Tiger-lily . . . . R. Queen. 

Rose R. King. 

Oyster Crow. 

Frog .R. Knight. 

Daisy Lion. 



RED. 
BUt HI: ^ 1 

■ ■ ** m 
« ill «§ 

RS» Hi I 

ssj §11 111 $\ 111 

^^ NN v ^iii! W,® iiiif 

;< ™J III 






WHITE. 



White Pawn {Alice) to play, and win in eleven moves 



PAGE 

1. Alice meets R. Q 40 

2. Alice through Q.'s 3d (by rail- 

way) 50 

to Q.'s 4th (Tweedledum and 
Tweedledee) 55 

3. Alice meets W.Q. (with shawl). 84 

4. Alice to Q.'s 5th (shop, river, 

shop) 92 

5. Alice to Q.'s 6th (Humpty 

Dumpty) 101 

6. Alice to Q.'s 7th (forest) 135 

7. W. Kt. takes R. Kt 140 

8. Alice to Q.'s 8th (coronation). 158 

9. Alice becomes Queen 167 

10. Alice's castles (feast) 174 

11. Alice takes R. Q. and wins.... 183 



PAGE 

1. R. Q. to K. R.'s 4th 48 

2. W. Q, to Q. B.'s 4th (after 

shaivl), 84 

3. W. Q. to Q. B.'s 5th (becomes 

sheep) 91 

4. W. Q. to K. B.'s 8th (leaves 

egg on shelf) 100 

5. W. Q. to Q. B.'s 8th (flying 

from R. Kt.) 180 

6. R Kt. toK.'s2d (ch.) 138 

7. W. Kt. toK. B.'s 5th 167 

8. R. Q. to K.'s sq. (examination) 160 

9. Queenscastle 170 

10. W. Q. to Q. R. 6th (soup) 118 



Child of the pure unclouded brow 
And dreaming eyes of wonder! 

Though time he fleet, and I and thou 
Are half a life asunder, 

Thy loving smile will surely hail 

The love-gift of a fairy-tale. 



I have not seen thy sunny face, 
ISTor heard thy silver laughter; 

ISTo thought of me shall find a place 
In thy young life's hereafter- 



Enough that now thou wilt not fail 
To listen to my fairv-tale. 



A tale begun in other days, 

When summer suns were glowing — 
A simple chime, that served to time 

The rhythm of our rowing 



Whose echoes live in memory yet, 

Though envious years would say " forget." 



Come, hearken then, ere voice of dread, 

With bitter tidings laden, 
Shall summon to unwelcome bed 

A melancholy maiden ! 
We are but older children, dear, 
Who fret to find our bedtime near. 

135 



Without, the frost, the blinding snow, 
The storm-wind's moody madness 

Within, the firelight's ruddy glow 
And childhood's nest of gladness. 

The magic words shall hold thee fast: 

Thou shalt not heed the raving blast. 



And though the shadow of a sigh 
May tremble through the story, 

For " happy summer days " gone by, 
And vanish'd summer glory 



It shall not touch with breath of bal 
The pleasance of our fairy-tale. 



136 




CHAPTER I. 



LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 

One thing was certain, that the white kitten had 

had nothing to do with it : it was the black kitten's 

fault entirely. For the white kitten had been having 
its face washed by the old cat for the last quarter of 
an hour (and bearing it pretty well, considering) ; so 
you see that it couldn't have had any hand in the mis- 
chief. 

The way Dinah washed her children's faces was this : 
first she held the poor thing down by its ear with one 
paw, and then with the other paw she rubbed its face 
all over, the wrong way, beginning at the nose : and 
just now, as I said, she was hard at work on the white 
kitten, which was lying quite still and trying to purr 
no doubt feeling that it was all meant for its good. 

But the black kitten had been finished with earlier 
in the afternoon, and so, while Alice was sitting curled 
up in a corner of the great arm-chair, half talking to 

. 137 



138 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

herself and half asleep, the kitten had been having a 
grand game of romps with the ball of worsted Alice 
had been trying to wind up, and had been rolling it 
up and down till it had all come undone again ; and 
there it was, spread over the hearth-rug, all knots and 
tangles, with the kitten running after its own tail in 
the middle. 

" Oh, you wicked, wicked little thing ! " cried Alice, 
catching up the kitten and giving it a little kiss to 
make it understand that it was in disgrace. " Really, 
Dinah ought to have taught you better manners ! You 
ought, Dinah, you know you ought! " she added, look- 
ing reproachfully at the old cat, and speaking in as cross 
a voice as she could manage and then she scram- 
bled back into the armchair, taking the kitten and the 
worsted with her, and began winding up the ball again. 
But she didn't get on very fast, as she was talking all 
the time, sometimes to the kitten, and sometimes to her- 
self. Kitty sat very demurely on her knee, pretending 
to watch the progress of the winding, and now and then 
putting out one paw and gently touching the ball, as 
if it would be glad to help if it might. 

" Do you know what to-morrow is, Kitty ? ' : ' Alice 
began. " You'd have guessed if you'd been up in the 

window with me only Dinah was making you tidy, 

so you couldn't. I was watching the boys getting in 

sticks for the bonfire and it wants plenty of sticks, 

Kitty ! Only it got so cold, and it snowed so, they 
had to leave off. !N"ever mind, Kitty, we'll go and 
see the bonfire to-morrow." Here Alice wound two or 
three turns of the worsted round the kitten's neck, 
just to see how it would look : this led to a scramble, in 
which the ball rolled down upon the floor, and yards 
and yards of it got unwound again. 

" Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty," Alice went on r 



LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 



139 



as soon as they were comfortably settled again, " when 
I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very 
nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the 
snow ! And you'd have deserved it, you little mis- 
chievous darling! What have you got to say for your- 
self \ jSTow don't interrupt me ! " she went on, holding 




up one finger. " I'm going to tell you all your faults. 
Number one: you squeaked twice while Dinah was 
washing your face this morning. Now you can't deny 
it, Kitty: I heard you! What's that you say?" (pre- 
tending that the kitten was speaking). " Her paw 



140 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

Went into your eye ? Well, that's your fault, for keep- 
ing your eyes open if you'd shut them tight up, it 

wouldn't have happened. Now, don't make any more 
excuses, but listen! Number two: you pulled Snow- 
drop away Iry the tail just as I had put down the saucer 
of milk before her ! What, you were thirsty, were 
you ? How do you know she wasn't thirsty, too '( Now 
for number three : you unwound every bit of the wor- 
sted while I wasn't looking! 

" That's three faults, Kitty, and you've not been 
punished for any of them yet. You know I'm saving 
up all your punishments for Wednesday week Sup- 
pose they had saved up all my punishments ! ' she 
went on, talking more to herself than the kitten. 
" What would they do at the end of a year ? I should be 

sent to prison, I suppose, when the day came. Or 

let me see suppose each punishment was to be going 

without a dinner: then, when the miserable day came, 
I should have to go without fifty dinners at once! 
Well, I shouldn't mind that much! I'd far rather go 
without them than eat them ! 

" Do you hear the snow against the window-panes, 
Kitty ? How nice and soft it sounds ! Just as if some 
one was kissing the window all over outside. I wonder 
if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them 
so gently ? And then it covers them up snug, you 
know, with a white quilt ; and perhaps it says, ' Go 
to sleep, darlings, till the summer conies again.' And 
when they wake up in the summer, Kitty, they dress 

themselves all in green, and dance about whenever 

the wind blows oh, that's very pretty ! " cried Alice, 

dropping the ball of worsted to clap her hands. " And 
I do so wish it was true ! I'm sure the woods look 
sleepy in the autumn, when the leaves are getting 
brown. 



LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 141 

" Kitty, can you play chess ? Now, don't smile, ray 
dear, I'm asking it seriously. Because, when we were 
playing just now, you watched just as if you under- 
stood it : and when I said c Check ! ' you purred ! Well, 
it was a nice check, Kitty, and really I might have won, 
if it hadn't been for that nasty Knight, that came wrig- 
gling down among my pieces. Kitty, dear, let's pre- 
tend -" And here I wish I could tell you half the 

things Alice used to say, beginning with her favorite 
phrase, " Let's pretend." She had had quite a long 
argument with her sister only the day before all be- 
cause Alice had begun with " Let's pretend we're kings 
and queens ; " and her sister, who liked being very 
exact, had argued that they couldn't, because there were 
only two of them, and Alice had been reduced at last to 
say, " Well, you can be one of them, then, and Til be 
all the rest." And once she had really frightened her 
old nurse by shouting suddenly in her ear, " Nurse ! 
Do let's pretend that I'm a hungry hyama, and you're 
a bone ! " 

But this is taking us away from Alice's speech to 
the kitten. " Let's pretend that you're the Keel Queen, 
Kitty ! Do you know, I think if you sat up and folded 
your arms, you'd look exactly like her. Now do try, 
there's a dear ! ' : And Alice got the Red Queen off 
the table, and set it up before the kitten as a model 
for it to imitate: however, the thing didn't succeed, 
principally, Alice said, because the kitten wouldn't 
fold its arms properly. So, to punish it, she held it up 
to the Looking-glass, that it might see how sulky it 

was " and if you're not good directly," she added, 

" I'll put you through into Looking-glass House. How 
would you like that? 

" Now, if you'll only attend, Kitty, and not talk 
so much, I'll tell you all my ideas about Looking-glass 



142 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

House. First, there's the room you can see through 

the glass that's just the same as our drawing-room, 

only the things go the other way. I can see all of it 

when I get upon a chair— all but the bit just behind 

the fireplace. Oh! I do wish I could see that bit! I 
want so much to know whether they've a fire in the win- 
ter: you never can tell, you know, unless our fire 

smokes, and then smoke comes up in that room too 

but that may be only pretence, just to make it look as 
if they had a fire. Well then, the books are some- 
thing like our books, only the words go the wrong way ; 
I know that, because I've held up one of our books to 
the glass, and then they hold up one in the other room. 

" How would you like to live in Looking-glass 
House, Kitty ? I wonder if thev'd give vou milk in 
there ? Perhaps Looking-glass milk isn't good to drink 

But oh, Kitty ! now we come to the passage. You 

can just see a little peep of the passage in Looking- 
glass House, if you leave the door of our drawing-room 
wide open : and it's very like our passage as far as you 
can see, only you know it may be quite different on 
beyond. Oh, Kitty! how nice it would be if we could 
only get through into Looking-glass House ! I'm sure 
it's got, oh ! such beautiful things in it ! Let's pretend 
there's a way of getting through into it, somehow, 
Kitty. Let's pretend the glass has got all soft like 
gauze, so that we can get through. Why, it's turning 
into mist now, I declare ! It'll be easy enough to get 

through " She was up on the chimney-piece while 

she said this, though she hardlv knew how she had got 
there. And certainly the glass urns beginning to melt 
away, just like a bright silvery mist. 

In another moment Alice was through the glass, and 
had jumped lightly down into the Looking-glass room. 
The very first thing she did was to look whether there 



LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 



i < ■ 



was a fire in the fireplace, and she was quite pleased 
to find that there was a real one, blazing away as 
brightly as the one she had left behind. " So I shall be 
as warm here as I was in the old room," thought Alice : 
" warmer, in fact, because there'll be no one here to 




scold me away from the fire. Oh, what fun it'll be, 
when they see me through the glass in here, and can't 
get at me ! " 

Then she began looking about, and noticed that what 
could be seen from the old room was quite common 



1U 



THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 



and uninteresting, but that all the rest was as different 
as possible. For instance, the pictures on the Avail next 
the fire seemed to be all alive, and the very clock on the 
chimney-piece (you know you can only see the back 
of it in the Looking-glass) had got the face of a little 
old man, and grinned at her. 




" They don't keep this room so tidy as the other," 
Alice thought to herself,' as she noticed several of the 
chessmen down in the hearth among the cinders: but 
in another moment, with a little." Oh !_/' of surprise, 



LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 



145 



she went down on her hands and knees watching them. 
The chessmen were walking about, two and two ! 

" Here are the Red King and the Red Queen/' Alice 
said (in a whisper, for fear of frightening them), 
" and there are the White King and the White Queen 
sitting on the edge of the shovel- 
Castles walking arm in arm— 



—and here are two 
-I don't think they can 



hear me," she went on, as she put her head closer 
down, " and I'm nearly sure they can't see me. I feel 
somehow as if I were invisible— 



?> 




Here something began squeaking on the table be- 
hind Alice, and made her turn her head just in time to 
see one of the White Pawns roll over and begin kick- 
ing: she watched it with great curiosity to see what 
would happen next. 

" It is the voice of my child ! " the White Queen 
cried out, as she rushed past the King, so violently that 
she knocked him over among the cinders. " ]\[y pre- 
cious Lily ! My imperial kitten ! " and she began 
scrambling wildly up the side of the fender. 

" Imperial fiddlestick ! " said the King, rubbing his 
10 



s 



146 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

nose, which had been hurt by the fall. He had a right 
to be a little annoyed with the Queen, for he was cov- 
ered with ashes from head to foot. 

Alice was very anxious to be of use, and, as the poor 
little Lily was .nearly screaming herself into a fit, she 
hastily picked up the Queen and set her on the table 
bv the side of her noisy little daughter. 

The Queen gasped, and sat down : the rapid journey 
through the air had quite taken away her breath, and 
for a minute or two she could do nothing but hug the 
little Lily in silence. As soon as she had recovered 
her breath a little, she called out to the White King, 
who was sitting sulkily among the ashes, " Mind the 
volcano ! " 

"What volcano?' 1 said the King, looking up anx- 
iously into the fire, as if he thought that was the most 
likely place to find one. 

" Blew me up," panted the Queen, who was 

still a little out of breath. " Mind you come up the 

regular way don't get blown up ! " 

Alice watched the White King as he slowly strug- 
gled up from bar to bar, till at last she said, " Why, 
you'll be hours and hours getting to the table, at that 
rate. I'd far better help you, hadn't I ? ' But the 
King took no notice of the question : it was quite clear 
that he could neither hear her nor see her. 

So Alice picked him up very gently, and lifted him 
across more slowly than she had lifted the Queen, that 
she mightn't take his breath away : but, before she put 
him on the table, she thought she might as well dust 
him a little, he was so covered with ashes. 

She said afterward that she had never seen in all her 
life such a face as the King made, when he found him- 
self held in the air by an invisible hand, and being 
dusted : he was far too much astonished to cry out, but 



LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 



147 



his eyes and his mouth went on getting larger and 
larger, and rounder and rounder, till her hand shook 
so with laughing that she nearly let him drop upon the 
floor, 

" Oh ! please don't make such faces, my dear ! " she 
cried out, quite forgetting that the King couldn't hear 
her, " You make me laugh so that I can hardly hold 
you ! And don't keep your mouth so wide open ! All 
th^i ashes will get into it there, now I think you're 




tidy enough ! " she added, as she smoothed his hair, and 
set him upon the table near the Queen. 

The King immediately fell flat on his back, and lay 
perfectly still : and Alice was a little alarmed at what 
she had done, and went round the room to see if she 
could find any water to throw over him. However, she 
could find nothing but a bottle of ink, and when she 
got back with it she found he had recovered, and he 
and the Queen were talking together in a frightened 

whisper so low, that Alice could hardly hear what 

they said. 



148 



THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 



The King was saying, " I assure you, my dear, I 
turned cold to the very ends of my whiskers ! " 

To which the Queen replied, " You haven't got any 
whiskers." 

" The horror of that moment," the King went on, 
" I shall never, never forget ! " 

" You will, though," the Queen said, " if you don't 
make a memorandum of it." 

Alice looked on with great interest as the King took 
an enormous memorandum-book out of his pocket, and 
began writing. A sudden thought struck her, and she 
took hold of the end of the pencil, which came some 
way over his shoulder, and began writing for him. 

The poor King looked puzzled and unhappy, and 
struggled with the pencil for some time without saying 
anything; but Alice was too strong for him, and at 
last he panted out, " My dear ! I really must get a thin- 
ner pencil. I can't manage this one a bit ; it writes 

all manner of things that I don't intend " 

" What manner of things ? " said the Queen, looking 
over the book (in which Alice had put: "The White 

Knight is sliding down 
J ^n the poker. He bal- 

ances very badly "). 
tk That's not a mem- 
orandum of your feel- 
ings ! ' ' 

There was a book 
lying near Alice on 
the table, and while 
she sat watching the 
White King (for she 
was still a little anx- 
ious about him, and had the ink all ready to throw 




LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 149 

over him, in case he fainted again), she turned over the 

leaves, to find some part that she could read , ' ' for 

it's all in some language I don't know," she said to 
herself. 

It was like this: 

x^omfcas.k\ 

\^ms $&1 jw aWwV^ Xys\j> vt^ foiCL 
,wvo^oto6 wfo ytaw ^im Xik 

She puzzled over this for some time, but at last a 
bright thought struck her. " Why, it's a Looking-glass 
book, of course ! And if I hold it up to a glass, the 
words will all go the right way again." 

This was the poem that Alice read : 

JABBERWOCKY. 

'Turns brillig, and the slithy toves 
Did gyre and gimble in the ivabe; 

All mimsy were the borogoves, 
And the mome raths outgrabe. 

" Beware the Jabberwock, my son ! 

The jaivs that bite, the claws that catch! 
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun 

The frumious Bandersnatch ! " 

He took his v or pal sword in hand: 

Long time the manxome foe he sought 

So rested he by the Tumtum tree, 
And stood awhile in thought. 



150 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

And as in uffish thought he stood, 
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, 

Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, 
And burbled as it came! 

One, two! One, two! And through and through 
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! 

He left it dead, and with its head 
He went galumphing back. 

" And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? 

Come to my arms, my beamish boy! 
frabjous day! Callooh! C allay!" 
He chortled in liis joy. 

'Twos brillig, and the slithy toves 
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe ; 

All mimsy were the borogoves, 
And the mome raths outgralje. 

" It seems very pretty," she said when she had 
finished it. ''but it's rather hard to understand!" 
(You see she didn't like to confess, even to herself, 
that she couldn't make it out at all.) " Somehow it 

seems to fill my head with ideas only I don't exactly 

know what they are ! However, somebody killed 
something : that's clear, at any rate- — — " 

" But oh ! " thought Alice, suddenly jumping up, 
" if I don't make haste I shall have to go back through 
the Looking-glass, before I've seen what the rest of the 
house is like ! Let's have a look at the garden first ! ' 
She was out of the room in a moment, and ran down- 
stairs or, at least, it wasn't exactly running, but a 

new invention for getting downstairs quickly and 
easily, as Alice said to herself. She just kept the 



LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE. 



151 







152 



THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 



tips of her fingers on the hand-rail, and floated gently 
clown without even touching the stairs with her feet ; 
then she floated on through the hall, and would have 
gone straight out at the door in the same way, if she 
hadn't caught hold of the door-post. She was getting 
a little giddy with so much floating in the air, and 
was rather glad to find herself walking again in the 
natural way. 




CHAPTEE II. 

THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS. 

" I should see the garden far better," said Alice to 
herself, "if I could get to the top of that hill: and 

here's a path that leads straight to it at least, no, it 

doesn't do that " (after going a few yards along the 

path, and turning several sharp corners), "but I sup- 
pose it will at last. But how curiously it twists ! It's 
more like a corkscrew than a path ! Well, this turn 

goes to the hill, I suppose no, it doesn't ! This goes 

straight back to the house ! Well then, I'll try it the 
other way." 

And so she did : wandering up and down, and trying 
turn after turn, but always coming back to the house, 
do what she would. Indeed, once, when she turned a 
corner rather more quickly than usual, she ran against 
it before she could stop herself. 

" It's no use talking about it," Alice said, looking 
up at the house and pretending it was arguing with 
her. " I'm not going in again yet. I know I should 

have to get through the looking-glass again back 

into the old room and there'd be an end of all my 

adventures ! " 

So, resolutely turning her back upon the house, she 
set out once more down the path, determined to keep 
straight on till she got to the hill. For a few minutes 
all went on well, and she was just saying, " I really 

shall do it this time " when the path gave a sudden 

twist and shook itself (as she described it afterward), 
and the next moment she found herself actually walk- 
ing in at the door. 

153 



154 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

" Oh, it's too bad ! " she cried. " I never saw such 
a house for getting in the way ! Never ! " 

However, there was the hill full in sight, so there 
was nothing to be done but start again. This time she 
came upon a large flower bed, with a border of daisies, 
and a willow-tree growing in the middle. 

" O Tiger-lily," said Alice, addressing herself to one 
that was waving gracefully about in the wind. " I ivish 
you could talk ! " 

" We can talk," said the Tiger-lily : " when there's 
anybody worth talking to." 

Alice was so astonished that she couldn't speak for 
a minute : it quite seemed to take her breath away. At 
length, as the Tiger-lily only went on waving about, 
she spoke again, in a timid voice almost in a whis- 
per. " And can all the flowers talk ? " 

" As well as you can," said the Tiger-lily. " And 
a great deal louder." 

" It isn't manners for us to begin, you know," said 
the Rose, " and I really was wondering when you'd 
speak ! Said I to myself, ' Her face has got some sense 
in it, though it's not a clever one ! ' Still, you're the 
right color, and that goes a Ions; way." 

" I don't care about the color," the Tiger-lily re- 
marked. " If only her petals curled up a little more, 
she'd be all right." 

Alice didn't like being criticised, so she began ask- 
ing questions. " Aren't you sometimes frightened at 
being planted out here, with nobody to take care of 
you ? " 

"There's the tree in the middle," said the Rose; 
" what else is it good for ? " 

" But what could it do, if any danger came ? " Alice 
asked. 

" It could bark," said the Rose. 



THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS. 



155 



" It says ' Bough-wough ! ' " cried a Daisy : " that's 
"why its branches are called boughs ! " 

"Didn't you know that?" cried another Daisy, and 
here they all began shouting together, till the air 
seemed quite full of little shrill voices. " Silence, 




every one of you ! " cried the Tiger-lily, waving itself 
passionately from side to side, and trembling with ex- 
citement. " They know I can't get at them ! " it panted, 
bending its quivering head toward Alice, " or they 
wouldn't dare to do it ! " 

"Never mind! " Alice said in a soothing tone, and 
stooping down to the daisies, who were just beginning 



156 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

again, she whispered, " If you don't hold your tongues, 
I'll pick you ! " 

There was silence in a moment, and several of the 
pink daisies turned white. 

" That's right ! " said the Tiger-lily. " The daisies 
fire worst of all. When one speaks, they all begin 
together, and it's enough to make one wither to hear the 
way they go on ! " 

" How is it you can all talk so nicely ? " Alice said, 
hoping to get it into a better temper by a compliment. 
" I've been in many gardens before, but none of the 
flowers could talk." 

" Put your hand down, and feel the ground," said the 
Tiger-lily. " Then you'll know why." 

Alice said so. " It's very hard," she said, " but I 
don't see what that has to do with it." 

" In most gardens," the Tiger-lily said, " they make 

Jhe beds too soft so that the flowers are always 

Asleep." 

This sounded a very good reason, and Alice was 
quite pleased to know it. " I never thought of that 
before ! " she said. 

" It's my opinion that you never think at all," the 
Rose said in a rather severe tone. 

" I n<?ver saw anybody that looked stupider," a Vio- 
let said, cO suddenly, that Alice quite jumped; for it 
hadn't spoken before. 

" Hold your tongue! " cried the Tiger-lily. " As if 
you ever saw anybody ! You keep your head under the 
leaves, and snore away there, till you know no more 
what's going on in the world, than if you were a bud ! ' 

" Are there any more people in the garden besides 
me ? " Alice said, not choosing to notice the Rose's last 
remark. 

" There's one other flower in the garden that can 



THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS, 157 

move about like you," said the Rose. " I wonder how 

you do it " (" You're always wondering," said the 

Tiger-lily), "but she's more bushy than you are." 

" Is she like me ? ''" Alice asked eagerly, for the 
thought crossed her mind, " There's another little girl 
in the garden, somewhere ! " 

" Well, she has the same awkward shape as you," 

the Rose said ; " but she's redder and her petals are 

shorter, I think." 

" Her petals are done up close, almost like a dahlia," 
the Tiger-lily interrupted : " not tumbled about anyhow, 
like yours." 

" But that's not your fault," the Rose added, kindly: 
" you're beginning to fade, you know- — — and then one 
can't help one's petals getting a little untidy." 

Alice didn't like this idea at all : so, to change the 
subject, she asked, " Does she ever come out here % " 

" I dare say you'll see her soon," said the Eose. 
" She's one of the thorny kind." 

" Where does she wear the thorns ? " Alice asked, 
with some curiosity. 

" Why, all round her head, of course," the Rose re- 
plied. " I was wondering you hadn't got some, too. I 
thought it was the regular rule." 

" She's coming! " cried the Larkspur. " I hear her 
footstep, thump, thump, along the gravel-walk ! ' 

Alice looked round eagerly, and found that it was 
the Red Queen. " She's grown a good deal ! ' : was 
her first remark. She had indeed : when Alice first 
found her in the ashes, she had been only three inches 

J t, 

high and here she was, half a head taller than Alice 

herself ! 

" It's the fresh air that does it," said the Rose : 
" wonderfully fine air it is, out here." 

" I think I'll go and meet her," said Alice, for, 



158 



THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 



though the flowers were interesting enough, she felt 
that it would be far grander to have a talk with a real 
Queen. 

"Yon can't possibly do that," said the Rose: "Z 
should advise yon to walk the other way.'' 

This sounded nonsense to Alice, so she said nothing, 
but set oil at once toward the Red Queen. To her sur- 



r.,\mi.W/fmnJ. 



















prise, she lost sight of her in a moment, and found 
herself walking in at the front-door again. 

A little provoked, she drew back, and after looking 
everywhere for the Queen (whom she spied out at last, 
a long way off), she thought she would try the plan, 
this time, of walking in the opposite direction. 



THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWEES. 159 

It succeeded beautifully. She had not been walk- 
ing a minute before she found herself face to face with 
the Red Queen, and full in sight of the hill she had 
been so long aiming at. 

" Where do you come from ? " said the Red Queen. 
" And where are you going ? Look up, speak nicely, 
and don't twiddle your fingers all the time." 

Alice attended to all these directions, and explained, 
as well as she could, that she had lost her way. 

" I don't know what you mean by your way," said 

the Queen : " all the ways about here belong to me • 

but why did you come out here at all ? " she added, in 
a kinder tone. " Curtesy while you're thinking what 
to say. It saves time." 

Alice wondered a little at this, but she was too much 
in awe of the Queen to disbelieve it. " I'll try it when 
I go home," she thought to herself, " the next time 
I'm a little late for dinner." 

" It's time for you to answer now," the Queen 
said, looking at her watch : " open your mouth a little 
wider when you speak, and always say ' your Maj- 
esty.' " 

" I only wanted to see what the garden was like, 
your Majesty " 

" That's right," said the Queen, patting her on the 
head, which Alice didn't like at all: " though, when you 
say ' garden,' I've seen gardens, compared with which 
this would be a wilderness." 

Alice didn't care to argue the point, but went on: 

" and I thought I'd try and find my way to the top 

of that hill " 

" When you say ' hill,' " the Queen interrupted, 
" I could show you hills, in comparison with which 
you'd call that a valley." 

" ISTo, I shouldn't," said Alice, surprised into contra- 



160 



THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 



dieting her at last: " a hill can't be a valley, you know. 
That would be nonsense- " 

The Red Queen shook her head. " You may call it 
'nonsense ' if you like," she said, " but I've heard non- 
sense, compared with which that would be as sensible 
as a dictionary ! " 

Alice curtesied again, as she was afraid from the 
Queen's tone that she was a little offended: and they 
walked on in silence till they got to the top of the litile 
hill. 

For some minutes Alice stood without speaking, look- 
ing out in all directions over the country and a most 

curious country it was. There were a number of tiny 
little brooks running straight across it from side to 




side, and the ground between was divided up into 
squares by a number of little green hedges, that reached 
from brook to brook. 

" I declare it's marked out just like a large chess- 
board ! " Alice said at last. " There ought to be some 

men moving about somewhere and so there are ! ' 

she added in a tone of delight, and her heart began to 
beat quick with excitement as she went on. " It's a 



THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS. 161 

great huge game of chess that's being played all 

over the world if this is the world at all, you know. 

Oh, what fun it is ! How I wish I was one of them ! I 

wouldn't mind being a Pawn, if only I might join 

though of course I should like to be a Queen, best." 

She glanced rather shyly at the real Queen as she 
said this, but her companion only smiled, pleasantly, 
and said, " That's easily managed. You can be the 
White Queen's Pawn, if you like, as Lily's too young 
to play ; and you're in the Second Square to begin 
with : when you get to the Eighth Square you'll be a 

Queen " Just at this moment, somehow or other, 

thev began to run. 

Alice never could quite make out, in thinking it over 
afterward, how it was that they began : all she remem- 
bers is, that they were running hand in hand, and the 
Queen went so fast that it was all she could do to keep 
up with her : and still the Queen kept crying " Faster ! 
Faster! " but Alice felt she could not go faster, though 
she had no breath left to say so. 

The most curious part of the thing was, that the 
trees and the other things round them never changed 
their places at all : however fast they went, they never 
seemed to pass anything. " I wonder if all the things 
move along with us % " thought poor puzzled Alice. 
And the Queen seemed to guess her thoughts, for she 
cried, " Faster ! Don't try to talk ! " 

Not that Alice had any idea of doing that. She felt 
as if she would never be able to talk again, she was 
getting so much out of breath : and still the Queen 
cried " Faster ! Faster ! " and dragged her along. 
" Are we nearly there \ " Alice managed to pant out at 
last. 

" Nearly there ! " the Queen repeated. " Why, we 
passed it ten minutes ago ! Faster ! " And they ran 
11 



1G2 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

on for a time in silence, with the wind whistling in 
Alice's ears, and almost blowing her hair off her head, 
she fancied. 

"jNTow! Xow!" cried the Queen. ''Faster! 
Faster ! ' And they went so fast that at last they 
seemed to skim through the air, hardly touching the 
ground with their feet, till suddenly, just as Alice was 
getting quite exhausted, they stopped, and she found 
herself sitting on the ground, breathless and giddy. 

The Queen propped her up against a tree, and said 
kindly, " You niav rest a little now." 

Alice looked round her in great surprise. " Why, I 
do believe we've been under this tree the whole time! 
Everything's just as it was ! '" 








"Of course it is," said the Queen: "what would 
you have it ( " 

" Well, in our country," said Alice, still panting a 

little, " you'd generally get to somewhere else if 

you ran very fast for a Ions: time, as we've been doing." 

" A slow sort of country ! " said the Queen. " Xow, 
here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to 
keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere 
else, you must run at least twice as fast as that ! " 



THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS. 103 

" I'd rather not try, please ! " said Alice. " I'm 

quite content to stay here only I am so hot and 

thirsty ! " 

" I know what you'd like ! " the Queen said good- 
naturedly, taking a little box out of her pocket. " Have 
a biscuit ? " 

Alice thought it would not be civil to say " No," 
though it wasn't at all what she wanted. So she took 
it, and ate it as well as she could : and it was very dry ; 
and she thought she had never been so nearly choked 
in all her life. 

" While you're refreshing yourself," said the Queen, 
" I'll just take the measurements." And she took a rib- 
bon out of her pocket, marked in inches, and began 
measuring the ground, and sticking little pegs in here 
and there. 

" At the end of two yards," she said, putting in a 
peg to mark the distance, " I shall give you your direc- 
tions have another biscuit ? " 

" No, thank you," said Alice : " one's quite enough ! " 

" Thirst quenched, I hope ? " said the Queen. 

Alice did not know what to say to this, but luckily 
the Queen did not wait for an answer, but went on. 

" At the end of three yards I shall repeat them for 

fear of your forgetting them. At the end of four, I 
shall say good-bye. And at the end of jive, I shall 



go ! " 



She had got all the pegs put in by this time, and 
Alice looked on with great interest as she returned to 
the tree, and then began slowly walking down the row. 

At the two-yard peg she faced round, and said, " A 
pawn goes two squares in its first move, you know. So 

you'll go very quickly through the Third Square by 

railway, I should think and you'll find yourself in 

the Fourth Square in no time. Well, that square be- 



164 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

longs to Tweedledum and Tweedledee the Fifth is 

mostly water the Sixth belongs to Humpty Dumpty 

But you make no remark ? " 

"I 1 didn't know I had to make one just- 
then," Alice faltered out. 

" You should have said," the Queen went on in a 
tone of grave reproof, " ' It's extremely kind of you to 

tell me all this ' - however, we'll suppose it said 

the Seventh Square is all forest however, one 

of the Knights will show you the way and in the 

Eighth Square we shall be Queens together, and it's all 
feasting and fun ! " Alice got up and courtesied, and 
sat down again. 

At the next peg the Queen turned again, and this 
time she said, " Speak in French when you can't think 

of the English for a thing turn out your toes as you 

walk and remember who you are ! ' She did not 

wait for Alice to curtesy this time, but walked on quick- 
ly to the next peg, where she turned for a moment to 
say " good-bye," and then hurried on to the last. 

How it happened, Alice never knew, but exactly as 
she came to the last peg, she was gone. Whether she 
vanished into the air, or whether she ran quickly into 
the wood ("and she can run very fast!' thought 
Alice), there was no way of guessing, but she was gone, 
and Alice began to remember that she was a Pawn, and 
that it would soon be time for her to move. 




CHAPTER III. 



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 



Of course the first thing to do was to make a grand 
survey of the country she was going to travel through. 
" It's something very like learning geography," thought 
Alice, as she stood on tiptoe in hopes of being able 

to see a little further. " Principal rivers there are 

none. Principal mountains I'm on the only one, 

but I don't think it's got any name. Principal towns 

why, what are those creatures, making honey down 

there ? They can't be bees nobody ever saw bees a 

mile off, you know " and for some time she stood 

silent, watching one of them that was bustling about 
among the flowers, poking its proboscis into them, " just 
as if it was a regular bee," thought Alice. 

However, this was anything but a regular bee : in 

fact, it was an elephant as Alice soon found out, 

though the idea quite took her breath away at first. 
" And what enormous flowers they must be ! " was her 
next idea. " Something like cottages with the roofs 
taken off, and stalks put to them and what quanti- 
ties of honey they must make ! I think I'll go down 

and no, I won't go just yet," she went on, checking 

herself just as she was beginning to run down the hill, 
and trying to find some excuse for turning shy so sud- 
denly. It'll never do to go down among them without 

a good long branch to brush them away and what 

fun it'll be when they ask me how I liked my walk. I 

shall say ' Oh, I liked it well enough ' (here 

165 



1GG THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

came the favorite little toss of the head), ' only it was 
so dusty and hot, and the elephants did tease so ! " 

" I think I'll go down the other way/' she said, after 
a pause: " and perhaps I may visit the elephants later 
on. Besides, I do so want to get into the Third 
Square 1 " 

So with this excuse she ran down the hill and jumped 
over the first of the six little brooks. 

* * * * * 
* * * # 

* * * * * 

" Tickets, please ! " said the Guard, putting his head 
in at the window. In a moment everybody was hold- 
ing out a ticket : they were about the same size as the 
people, and quite seemed to fill the carriage. 

" Kow, then ! Show your ticket, child ! " the Guard 
went on, looking angrily at Alice. And a great manv 
voices all said together (" like the chorus of a song," 
thought Alice), " Don't keep him waiting, child ! Why 
his time is worth a thousand pounds a minute ! ' : 

c< I'm afraid I haven't got one," Alice said in a 
frightened tone : " there wasn't a ticket-office where I 
came from." And again the chorus of voices went on 
" There wasn't room for one where she came from. The 
land there is worth a thousand pounds an inch ! ' : 

" Don't make excuses," said the Guard : " you should 
have bought one from the engine-driver." And once 
more the chorus of voices went on with " The man that 
drives the engine. Why, the smoke alone is worth a 
thousand pounds a puff ! " 

Alice 'thought to herself, " Then there's no use in 
speaking." The voices didn't join in this time, as she 
hadn't spoken, but, to her great surprise, they all 



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 



167 



thought in chorus (I hope you understand what think' 

ing in chorus means for I must confess that I 

don't), " Better say nothing at all. Language is worth 
a thousand pounds a word ! " 

" I shall dream about a thousand pounds to-night, I 
know I shall ! " thought Alice. 

All this time the Guard was looking at her, first 
through a telescope, then through a microscope, and 
then through an opera-glass. At last he said, " You're 
traveling the wrong way," and shut up the window 
and went away. 




" So young a child," said the gentleman sitting op- 
posite to her, (he was dressed in white paper) " ought 
to know which way she's going, even if she doesn't know 
her own name ! " 

A Goat, that was sitting next to the gentleman in 
white, shut his eyes and said in a loud voice : " She 
ought to know her way to the ticket-office, even if she 
doesn't know her alphabet ! " 



168 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

There was a Beetle sitting next the Goat (it was a 
very queer carriage-full of passengers altogether), and, 
as the rule seemed to be that they should all speak in 
turn, lie went on with " She'll have to go back from here 
as luggage ! " 

Alice couldn't see who was sitting beyond the Beetle, 

but a hoarse voice spoke next. " Change engines " 

it said, and there it choked and was obliged to leave off. 

" It sounds like a horse," Alice thought to herself. 
And an extremely small voice, close to her ear, said, 

" You might make a joke on that— something about ' horse ' and ' hoarse,' 
you know." 

Then a verv ffentle voice in the distance said, " She 
must be labelled ' Lass, with care,' you know " 

And after that other voices went on (" What a num- 
ber of people there are in the carriage ! ' thought 
Alice), saying, " She must go by post, as she's got a 

head on her " " She must be sent as a message by 

the telegraph " " She must draw the train herself 

the rest of the way ," and so on. 

But the gentleman dressed in white paper leaned 
forward and whispered in her ear, " ]STever mind what 
they all say, my dear, but take a return-ticket every 
time the train stops." 

" Indeed I shan't ! " Alice said, rather impatiently. 

" I don't belong to this railway journey at all 1 was 

in a wood just now and I wish I could get back 

there ! " 

"You might make a joke on that," Said the little Voice close to 
ner ear I "something about ' you would if you could/ you know." 

" Don't tease so," said Alice, looking about in vain 
to see where the voice came from : " if vou're so anx- 
ious to have a joke made, why don't you make one 
yourself ? " 

The little voice sighed deeply : it was very unhappy, 



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 169 

evidently, and Alice would have said something pity- 
ing to comfort it, " if it would only sigh like other 
people ! " she thought. But this was such a wonder- 
fully small sigh, that she wouldn't have heard it at all, 
if it hadn't come quite close to her ear. The conse- 
quence of this was that it tickled her ear very much, 
and quite took off her thoughts from the unhappiness of 
the poor little creature. 

"I know you are a friend," the little Voice Went OU | "a dear 
friend, and an old friend. And you won't hurt me, though I am an insect." 

" What kind of insect ? " Alice inquired a little 
anxiously. What she really wanted to know was, 
whether it could sting or not, but she thought this 
wouldn't be quite a civil question to ask. 

"What, then you don't" — the little voice began, when 
it was drowned by a shrill scream from the engine, 
and everybody jumped up in alarm, Alice among the 
rest. 

The Horse, who had put his head out of the win- 
dow, quietly drew it in and said, " It's only a brook 
we have to jump over." Everybody seemed satisfied 
with this, though Alice felt a little nervous at the 
idea of trains jumping at all. " However, it'll take 
us into the Fourth Square, that's some comfort ! ' : 
she said to herself. In another moment she felt the 
carriage rise straight up into the air, and in her 
fright she caught at the thing nearest to her hand, 
which happened to be the Goat's beard. 

* * * * * 



* * 



* * * .* 



170 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

But the beard seemed to melt away as she touched it, 

and she found herself sitting quietly under a tree 

while the Gnat (for that was the insect she had been 
talking to) was balancing itself on a twig just over 
her head, and fanning her with its wings. 

It certainly was a very large Gnat : " about the size 
of a chicken,'' Alice thought. Still, she couldn't fe&l 
nervous with it, after they had been talking together so 
long. 

" then you don't like all insects ? " the Gnat went 

on, as quietly as if nothing had happened. 

" I like them when thev can talk," Alice said. " None 
of them ever talk, where I come from." 

" What sort of insects do you rejoice in, where you 
come from I " the Gnat inquired. 

" I don't rejoice in insects at all," Alice explained, 

" because I'm rather afraid of them at least the 

large kinds. But I can tell vou the names of some of 
them." 

" Of course they answer to their names ? " the Gnat 
remarked carelessly. 

" I never knew them do it." 

" What's the use of their having names," the Gnat 
said, " if they won't answer to them ? " 

" Xo use to them," said Alice ; " but it's useful to 
the people that name them, I suppose. If not, why do 
things have names at all ( " 

" I can't say," the Gnat replied. "Further on, in 
the wood down there, they've got no names how- 
ever, go on with your list of insects, you're wasting 
time." 

" Well, there's the Horse-fly," Alice began, coimting 
off the names on her fingers. 

" All right," said the Gnat : " half way up that bush, 
you'll see a Ilocking-horse-fly, if you look. It's made 



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. ift 

entirely of wood, and gets about by swinging itself from 
branch to branch." 

" What does it live on ? " Alice asked, with great 
curiositv. 

" Sap and sawdust," said the Gnat. " Go on with 
the list." 

Alice looked at the Rocking-horse-fly with great in- 
terest, and made up her mind that it must have been 
just repainted, it looked so bright and sticky; and then 
she went on. 




" And there's the Dragon-fly." 

" Look on the branch above your head," said the 
Gnat, " and there you'll find a Snap-dragon-fly. Its 
body is made of plum-pudding, its wings of holly-leaves, 
and its head is a raisin burning in brandy." 

" And what does it live on ? " Alice asked, as be- 
fore. 

" Frumenty and mince-pie," the Gnat replied : " and 
it makes its nest in a Christmas-box." 

" And then there's the Butterfly," Alice went on, 
after she had taken a good look at the insect with its 



172 



THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 



head on fire, and had thought to herself, " I wonder 
if that's the reason insects are so fond of flying into 
candles because they want to turn into Snap- 



dragon-flies ! " 

" Crawling at your feet," said the Gnat (Alice drew 
her feet back in some alarm), "you may observe a 
Bread-and-butter-fly. Its wings are thin slices of bread' 
and-butter, its body is a crust, and its head is 9. lump 
of sugar." 

" And what does it live on ? " 

" Weak tea with cream in it." 




A new difficulty came into Alice's head. " Suppos» 
ing it couldn't find any ? " she suggested. 

" Then it would die, of course." 

" But that must happen very often," Alice remarked, 
thoughtfully. 

" It always happens," said the Gnat. 

After this, Alice was silent for a minute or two, 
pondering. The Gnat amused itself meanwhile by 
humming round and round her head : at last it settled 
again and remarked, " I suppose you don't want to 
lose your name ? " 



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 



173 



" "No, indeed," Alice said, a little anxiously. 

" And yet I don't know," the Gnat went on in a 
careless tone : " only think how convenient it would 
be if you could manage to go home without it! For 
instance, if the governess wanted to call you to your 

lessons, she would call out ' Come here ' and there 

she would have to leave off, because there wouldn't be 
any name for her to call, and of course you wouldn't 
have to go, you know." 

" That would never do, I'm sure," said Alice : " the 
governess would never think of excusing my lessons for 
that. If she couldn't remember my name, she'd call 



me 



Miss ! ' as the servants do 



>? 




" Well, if she said ' Miss,' and didn't say anything 
more," the Gnat remarked, " of course you'd miss your 
lessons. That's a joke. I wish you had made it." 

" Why do you wish I had made it ? " Alice asked. 
" It's a very bad one." 

But the Gnat only sighed deeply, while two large 
tears came rolling down its cheeks. 

" You shouldn't make jokes," Alice said, " if it 
makes you so unhappy." 



174 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

Then caine another of those melancholy little sighs, 
and this time the poor Gnat really seemed to have 
sighed itself away, for, when Alice looked up, there was 
nothing whatever to be seen on the twig, and, as she was 
getting quite chilly with sitting still so long, she got 
up and walked on. 

She very soon came to an open field, with a wood on 
the other side of it : it looked much darker than the 
last wood, and Alice felt a little timid about going into 
it. However, on second thoughts, she made up her 
mind to go on : " for I certainly won't go back," she 
thought to herself, and this was the only way to the 
Eighth Square. 

kb This must be the wood," she said thoughtfully to 
herself, " where things have no names. I wonder 
what'll become of my name when I go in ? I shouldn't 

like to lose it at all because they'd have to give 

me another, and it would be almost certain to be an 
ugly one. But then the fun would be, trying to 
find the creature that had got my old name ! That's 
just like the advertisements, you know, when people 

lose dogs ' answers to the name of " Dash: " had on 

a brass collar ' just fancy calling everything you 

met * Alice,' till one of them answered ! Only they 
wouldn't answer at all, if they were wise." 

She was rambling on in this way when she reached 
the wood : it looked very cool and shady. " Well, at 
any rate it's a great comfort," she said as she stepped 
under the trees, " after being so hot, to get into the 
■ into the into what?" she went on, rather sur- 
prised at not being able to think of the word. " I mean 

to get under the under the under this, you 

know ! " putting her hand on the trunk of the tree. 
" What does it call itself, I wonder ? I do believe it's 
got no name why, to be sure it hasn't ! " 



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 



175 



She stood silent for a minute, thinking : then she sud- 
denly began again. " Then it really has happened, 
after all ! And now, who am I. I will remember, if I 
can ! I'm determined to do it ! ' : But being deter- 
mined didn't help her much, and all she could say, after 
a great deal of puzzling, was, " L, I know it begins with 
L!" 

Just then a Fawn came wandering by: it looked at 




Alice with its large, gentle eyes, but didn't seem at 
all frightened. " Here then ! Here then ! " Alice said, 
as she held out her hand and tried to stroke it ; but it 
only started back a little, and then stood looking at 
her again. 

" What do you call yourself ? " the Fawn said at 
last. Such a soft, sweet voice it had ! 



176 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 



a 



I wish I knew ! ' thought poor Alice. She an- 
swered, rather sadly, " Nothing, just now." 

" Think again," it said ; " that won't do." 

Alice thought, but nothing came of it. " Please, 
would you tell me what you call yourself?" she said 
timidly. " I think that might help a little." 

" I'll tell vou, if vou'll come a little further on," 
the Fawn said. " I can't remember here." 

So they walked on together through the wood, Alice 
with her arms clasped lovingly round the soft neck 
of the Fawn, till they came out into another open field, 
and here the Fawn gave a sudden bound into the air, 
and shook itself free from Alice's arms " I'm a 
Fawn! " it cried out in a voice of delight, " and, dear 
me ! you're a human child ! ' : A sudden look of alarm 
came into its beautiful brown eyes, and in another mo- 
ment it had darted away at full speed. 

Alice stood looking after it, almost ready to cry with 
vexation at having lost her dear little fellow-traveler so 
suddenly. " However, I know my name now," she said, 
" that's some comfort. Alice Alice 1 won't for- 
get it again. And now, which of these finger-posts 
ought I to follow, I wonder ? " 

It was not a very difficult question to answer, as there 
was only one road through the wood, and the two finger- 
posts both pointed along it. " I'll settle it," Alice 
said to herself, " when the road divides and they point 
different ways." 

But this did not seem likely to happen. She went 
on and on, a long way, but wherever the road divided 
there were sure to be two finger-posts pointing the same 
way, one marked " TO TWEEDLEDUM'S HOUSE," 
and the other " TO THE HOUSE OF TWEEDLE- 
DEE." 



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 177 



u 



I do believe," said Alice at last, " that they live 
in the same house ! I wonder I never thought of that 

before But I can't stay there long. I'll just call and 

say ' How d'ye do ? ' and ask them the way out of the 
wood. If I could only get to the Eighth Square before 
it gets dark ! " So she wandered on, talking to herself 
as she went, till, on turning a sharp corner, she came 
upon two fat little men, so suddenly that she could 
not help starting back, but in another moment she re- 
covered herself, feeling sure that they must be 




12 



CHAPTER IV. 



TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 



They were standing under a tree, each with an arm 
round the other's neck, and Alice knew which was 
which in a moment, because one of them had " DUM ' 
embroidered on his collar, and the other " DEE." " I 
suppose they've each got ' TWEEDLE ' round at the 
back of the collar," she said to herself. 







They stood so still that she quite forgot they were 
alive, and she was just looking round to see if the 
word " TWEEDLE " was written at the back of each 
collar, when she was startled by a voice coming from 
the one marked " DUM." 

" If you think we're wax-works," he said, " you 

178 



TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 179 

ought to pay, you know. Wax-works weren't made to 
be looked at for nothing. Nohow ! " 

" Contrariwise," added the one marked " DEE," " if 
you think we're alive, you ought to speak." 

" I'm sure I'm very sorry," was all Alice could say; 
for the words of the old song kept ringing through her 
head like the ticking of a clock, and she could hardly 
help saying them out loud : 

" Tweedledum and Tweedledee 
Agreed to have a battle; 
For Tweedledum said Tweedledee 
Had spoiled his nice new rattle. 

" Just then flew down a monstrous crow, 
As black as a tar-barrel ; 
Which frightened both the heroes so, 
They quite forgot their quarrel." 

" I know what you're thinking about," said Tweedle- 
dum : " but it isn't so, nohow." 

" Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, " if it was 
so, it might be ; and if it were so, it would be ; but as 
it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." 

" I was thinking," Alice said very politely, " which 
is the best way out of this wood : it's getting so dark. 
Would you tell me, please ? " 

But the fat little men only looked at each other and 
grinned. 

They looked so exactly like a couple of great school- 
boys, that Alice couldn't help pointing her finger at 
Tweedledum, and saying " First Boy ! " 

" ISTohow ! " Tweedledum cried out, briskly, and shut 
his mouth up again with a snap. 

" Next Boy ! " said Alice, passing on to Tweedledee, 



130 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

though she felt quite certain he would only shout out 
" Contrariwise! " and so he did. 

" You've begun wrong ! " cried Tweedledum. " The 
first thing in a visit is to say ' How d'ye do? ' and shake 
hands ! ' And here the two brothers gave each other 
a hug, and then they held out the two hands that were 
free, to shake hands with her. 

Alice did not like shaking hands with either of them 
first, for fear of hurting the other one's feelings ; so, 
as the best wav out of the difficulty, she took hold of 
both hands at once : the next moment they were danc- 
ing round in a ring. This seemed quite natural (she 
remembered afterward), and she was not even surprised 
to hear music playing: it seemed to come from the tree 
under which they were dancing, and it was done (as 
well as she could make it out) by the branches rubbing 
one across the other, like fiddles and fiddle-sticks. 

" But it certainly was funny, (Alice said afterward, 
when she was telling her sister the history of all this,) 
"to find myself singing 'Here we go round the mul- 
berry bush/ I don't know when I began it, but some- 
how I felt as if I'd been singing it a long time ! ' 

The other two dancers were fat, and very soon out of 
breath. " Four times round is enough for one dance," 
Tweedledum panted out, and they left off dancing as 
suddenly as they had begun : the music stopped at the 
same moment. 

Then thev let go of Alice's hands, and stood looking 
at her for a minute : there was a rather awkward pause, 
as Alice didn't know how to begin a conversation 
with people she had just been dancing with. " It 
would never do to say ' How d'ye do ( ' now," she 
said to herself: "we seem to have got beyond that, 
somehow ! " 

" I hope you're not much tired ? " she said at last. 



TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 181 

" Nohow. And thank you very much for asking," 
said Tweedledum. 

" So much obliged ! " added Tweedledee. " You like 
poetry ? " 

" Ye-es pretty well some poetry," Alice said, 

doubtfully. " Would you tell me which road leads out 
of the wood ? " 

" What shall I repeat to her ? " said Tweedledee, 
looking round at Tweedledum with great solemn eyes, 
and not noticing Alice's question. 

The Walrus and the Carpenter ' is the longest," 
Tweedledum replied, giving his brother an affectionate 
hug. 

Tweedledee began instantly : 

" The sun was shining " 

Here Alice ventured to interrupt him. " If it's 
very long," she said, as politely as she could, " would 
you please tell me first which road " 

Tweedledee smiled gently, and began again : 

" The sun was shining on the sea, 

Shining with all his might: 
He did his very best to make 

The billows smooth and bright — 
And this was odd, because it was 

The middle of the night. 

" The moon was shining sulkily, 
Because she thought the sun 
Had got no business to be there 
After the day was done — 
' It's very rude of him,' she said, 
' To come and spoil the fun! ' 



182 THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS. 

' The sea teas wet as wet could be, 
The sands were dry as dry. 
You could not see a cloud, because 

No cloud was in the sky: 
No birds were flying overhead — 
There were no birds to fly. 

<e The Walrus and the Carpenter 
Were walking close at hand; 
They wept like anything to see 
Such quantities of sand: 
* If this were only cleared away' 
They said ' it would be grand! ' 




If seven maids ivith seven mops 
Swept it for half a year, 
Do you suppose/ the Walrus said, 
'That they could get it clear?' 
* I doubt it,' said the Carpenter, 
And shed a bitter tear. 



TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 183 

" ' Oysters, come and walk with us! ' 
The Walrus did beseech. 
i A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk, 

Along the briny beach: 
We cannot do with more than four, 
To give a hand to each.' 

" The eldest Oyster looked at him, 
But never a word he said: 
The eldest Oyster winked his eye, 

And shook his heavy head — 
Meaning to say he did not choose 
To leave the oyster-bed. 

rc But four young Oysters hurried up, 
All eager for the treat: 
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed, 

Their shoes were clean and neat — 
And this was odd, because, you know, 
They hadn't any feet. 

"Four other Oysters followed them, 

And yet another four; 
And thick and fast they came at last, 

And more, and more, and more — ■ 
All hopping through the frothy waves, 

And scrambling to the shore. 

" The Walrus and the Carpenter 

Walked on a mile or so, 
And then they rested on a rock 

Conveniently low: 
And all the little Oysters stood 

And waited in a row. 



184 



THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 



" ' The time has come,' the Walrus said, 
1 To talk of many things. 
Of shoes — and ships — and sealing-wax- 

Of cabbages — and kings — 
And why the sea is boiling hot — 
And whether pigs have wings.' 







a i 



But wait a bit/ the Oysters cried, 
' Before ive have our chat ; 
For so7ne of us are oid of breath, 
And all of its are fat! ' 
'No hurry!' said the Carpenter. 
They thanked him much for that. 

" ' A loaf of bread,' the Walrus said, 
' Is what we chiefly need: 
Pepper and vinegar besides 
Are very good indeed — 
Now if you're ready, Oysters dear, 
We can begin to feed.' 

But not on us! ' the Oysters cried, 
Turning a little blue. 
'* After such kindness, that would be 
A dismal thing to do!' 



a c 



TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 

* The night is fine/ the Walrus said. 
' Do you admire the view ? ' 

' It was so hind of you to come ! 

And you are very nice ! ' 
The Carpenter said nothing but 

' Cut us another slice : 
I wish you were not quite so deaf — 
I've had to ask you twice ! ' 



185 




" ' It seems a shame/ the Walrus said, 
' To play them such a trick, 
After 'we've brought them out so far, 

And made them trot so quick! ' 
The Carpenter said nothing but 
1 The butter's spread too thick!' 

" ' / weep for you/ the Walrus said: 
' I deeply sympathize.' 
With sobs and tears he sorted out 

Those of the largest size, 
Molding his pocket-handkerchief 
Before his streaming eyes. 



186 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

" ' Oysters,' said the Carpenter, 
' You've had a pleasant run! 
Shall ive be trotting home again ? ' 
But answer came there none — 
And, this was scarcely odd, because 
They'd eaten every one." 

" I like the Walrus Lest," said Alice: " because you 
see he was a little sorry for the poor oysters." 

" He ate more than the Carpenter, though," said 
Tweedledee. " You see he held his handkerchief in 
front, so that the Carpenter couldn't count how many 
he took : contrariwise." 

" That was mean ! " Alice said, indignantly. " Then 

I like the Carpenter best if he didn't eat so many 

as the Walrus." 

" But he ate as many as he could get," said Tweedle- 
dum. 

This was a puzzler. After a pause, Alice began, 

Well ! They were both very unpleasant characters 
Here she checked herself in some alarm, at 
hearing something that sounded to her like the puffing 
of a large steam-engine in the wood near them, though 
she feared it was more likely to be a wild beast. " Are 
there any lions or tigers about here ? ' : she asked, 
timidly. 

" It's only the Red King snoring," said Tweedle- 
'dee. 

" Come and look at him ! '' the brothers cried, and 
they each took one of Alice's hands, and led her up to 
where the King was sleeping. 

" Isn't he a lovely sight '\ " said Tweedledum. 

Alice couldn't say honestly that he was. He had 
a tall red nightcap on, with a tassel, and he was lying 
crumpled up into a sort of untidy heap, and snoring 



V V 

11 



TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 



187 



loud " fit to snore his head off ! " as Tweedledum 

remarked. 

" I'm afraid he'll catch cold with lying on the damp 
grass," said Alice, who was a very thoughtful little girl. 

" He's dreaming now," said Tweedledee : " and what 
do you think he's dreaming about ? " 

Alice said " Nobody can guess that." 

"Why, about you!" Tweedledee exclaimed, clap- 
\ ing his hands triumphantly. " And if he left off 
o feaming about you, where do you suppose you'd be ? " 

" Where I am now, of course," said Alice. 



i ILsse'Z&x 










« 



.. 



^N ,)t you ! ' Tweedledee retorted, contemptuously. 
"' You'd be nowhere. Why, you're only a sort of thing 
in his dream ! " 

:; If that there King was to wake," added Tweedle- 
dum, " you'd go out bang! just like a candle ! " 

" I shouldn't ! " Alice exclaimed, indignantly. " Be- 
sides, if I'm, only a sort of thing in his dream, what are 
you, I should like to know ? " 

"Ditto," said Tweedledum. 

" Ditto, ditto ! " cried Tweedledee. 



1SS THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

He shouted this so loud that Alice couldn't help 
saying, " Hush ! You'll be waking him, I'm afraid y 
if you make so much noise." 

" Well, it's no use your talking about waking him," 
said Tweedledum, " when you're only one of the things 
in his dreams. You know very well you're not real." 

" I am real ! " said Alice, and began to cry. 

" You w T on't make yourself a bit realler by crying," 
Tweedledee remarked: "there's nothing to cry about." 

" If I wasn't real," Alice said half-laughing 

through her tears, it all seemed so ridiculous " I 

shouldn't be able to cry." 

" I hope you don't suppose those are real tears ? ' : 
Tweedledum interrupted in a tone of great contempt. 

" I know they're talking nonsense," Alice thought to 
herself: "and it's foolish to cry about it." So she 
brushed away her tears, and went on as cheerfully as 
she could, " At any rate I'd better be getting out of the 
wood,' for really it's coming on very dark. Do you 
think it's 2'oino; to rain % " 

Tweedledum spread a large umbrella over himself 
and his brother, and looked up into it. " Xo, I don't 

think it is," he said: "at least not under here. 

Nohow." 

" But it may rain outside? " 

" It may if it chooses," said Tweedledee : " we've 

no objection. Contrariwise." 

"Selfish things!' thought Alice, and she was just 
going to say " Good-night ' and leave them, when 
Tweedledum sprang out from under the umbrella, and 
seized her by the wrist. 

" Do you see that ? " he said, in a voice choking with 
passion, and his eyes grew large and yellow all in a 
moment, as he pointed with a trembling finger at a 
small white thing lying under the tree. 



TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 



189 



" It's only a rattle," Alice said, after a careful ex- 
amination of the little white thing. " Not a rattle- 
snake, you know," she added hastily, thinking that he 

was frightened : " only an old rattle quite old and 

broken." 

" I knew it was ! " cried Tweedledum, beginning to 
stamp about wildly and tear his hair. " It's spoilt, 
of course ! r Here he looked at Tweedledee, who im- 
mediately sat down on the ground, and tried to hide 
himself under the umbrella. 







Alice laid her hand upon his arm, and said in a 
soothing tone, " You needn't be so angry about an 
old rattle." 

"But it isn't old! " Tweedledum cried, in a greater 

fury than ever. " It's new, I tell you 1 bought it 

yesterday my nice new RATTLE ! " and his voice 

rose to a perfect scream. 

All this time Tweedledee was trying his best to 
fold up the umbrella, with himself in it: which was 



190 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

such an extraordinary thing to do, that it quite took off 
Alice's attention from the angry brother. But he 
couldn't quite succeed, and it ended in his rolling over, 
bundled up in the umbrella, with only bis head out: 
and there he lay, opening and shutting bis mouth and 
his large eyes " looking more like a fish than any- 
thing else," Alice thought. 

" Of course you agree to have a battle ? ' : Tweedle- 
dum said in a calmer tone. 

" I suppose so," the other sulkily replied, as he 
crawled out of the umbrella : " only she must help us 
to dress up, you know." 

So the two brothers went off hand-in-hand into the 
wood, and returned in a minute with their arms full 

of things such as bolsters, blankets, hearth-rugs, 

tableclothes, dish-covers, and coal-scuttles. " I hope 
you're a good hand at pinning and tying strings?' 
Tweedledum remarked. " Every one of these things has 
got to go on, somehow or other." 

Alice said afterward she had never seen such a fuss 

made about anything in all her life the way those 

two bustled about and the quantity of tilings they 

put on and the trouble they gave her in tying strings 

and fastening buttons " Really they'll be more like 

bundles of old clothes than anything else, by the time 
they're ready ! " she said to herself, as she arranged a 
bolster round" the neck of Tweedledec, " to keep his 
head from being cut off," as he said. 

" You know," he added very gravely, " it's one of 
the most serious things that can possibly happen to one 
in a battle to get one's head cut off." 

Alice laughed aloud: but she managed to turn it into 
a cough, for fear of hurting his feelings. 

" Do I look very pale ? " said Tweedledum, coming 
up to have his helmet tied on. (He called it a helmet, 



TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 



191 



though it certainly looked much more like a saucepan.) 

" Well yes a little" Alice replied, gently. 

" I'm very brave generally," he went on in a low 
voice : " only to-day I happen to have a headache." 

" And I've got a toothache ! " said Tweedledee, who 
had overheard the remark. " I'm far worse than you ! n 

"■ Then you'd better not fight to-day," said Alice, 
thinking it a good opportunity to make peace. 

" We must have a bit of a fight, but I don't care about 
going on long," said Tweedledum. " What's the time 
now ? " 




Tweedledee looked at his watch, and said " Half- 
past four." 

" Let's fight till six, and then have dinner," said 
Tweedledum. 

" Very well," the other said, rather sadly: " and she 

can watch us only you'd better not come very close," 

he added : " I generally hit everything I can see 

when I get really excited." 

" And / hit everything within reach," cried Tweedle- 
dum, " whether I ean see it or not ! " 



192 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

Alice laughed. " You must hit the trees pretty often, 
I should think," she said. 

Tweedledum looked round him with a satisfied smile. 
" I don't suppose," he said, " there'll be a tree left 
standing, for ever so far around, by the time we've fin- 
ished ! " 

" And all about a rattle ! " said Alice, still hoping to 
make them a little ashamed of fighting for such a trifle. 

" I shouldn't have minded it so much," said Tweedle- 
dum, " if it hadn't been a new one." 

" I wish the monstrous crow would come ! " thought 
Alice. 

" There's only one sword, you know," Tweedledum 

said to his brother : " but you can have the umbrella ■ 

it's quite as sharp. Only we must begin quick. It's 
getting as dark as it can." 

" And darker," said Tweedledee. 

It was getting, dark so suddenly that Alice thought 
there must be a thunderstorm coming on. " What a 
thick black cloud that is! " she said. " And how fast 
it comes ! Why, I do believe it's got wings ! " 

" It's the crow ! ' Tweedledum cried out in a shrill 
voice of alarm : and the two brothers took to their heels 
and were out of sight in a moment. 

Alice ran a little way into the wood, and stopped 
under a large tree. " It can never get at me here," she 
thought : " it's far too large to squeeze itself in among 

the trees. But I wish it wouldn't flap its wings so 

it makes quite a hurricane in the wood here's some- 
body's shawl being blown away ! " 



CHAPTER V. 



WOOL AND WATER. 



She caught the shawl as she spoke, and looked about 
for the owner: in another moment the White Queen 
came running wildly through the wood, with both arms 
stretched out wide, as if she- were flying, and Alice very 
civilly went to meet her with the shawl. 

" I'm very glad I happened to be in the way," Alice 
said, as she helped her to put on her shawl again. 

The White Queen only looked at her in a helpless 
frightened sort of way, and kept repeating something in 
a whisper to herself that sounded like " Bread-and but- 
ter, bread-and-butter," and Alice felt that if there was 
to be any conversation at all, she must manage it herself. 
So she began timidly : " Am I addressing the White 
Queen ? " 

" Well, yes, if you call that a-dressing," the Queen 
said. " It isn't my notion of the thing, at all." 

Alice thought it would never do to have an argument 
at the very beginning of their conversation, so she 
smiled and said, " If your Majesty will only tell me 
the right way to begin, I'll do it as well as I can." 

" But I don't want it done at all ! " groaned the poor 
Queen. " I've been a-dressing myself for the last two 
hours." 

It would have been all the better, as it seemed to 

Alice, if she had got some one else to dress her, she was 

so dreadfully untidy. " Every single thing's crooked," 

Alice thought to herself, " and she's all over pins ! — 

13 193 



194 



THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 



May I put your shawl straight for you ? " she added 
aloud. 

" I don't know what's the matter with it ! " the Queen 
said in a melancholy voice. " It's out of temper, I 
think. I've pinned it here, and I've pinned it there, 
but there's no pleasing it ! " 

"It can't go 
straight, you 
know, if you pin 
it all on one side," 
Alice said, as she 
gently put it right 
for her; "and, 
dear me, what a 
state your hair is 
in! " 

" The brush has 
got entangled in 
it ! " the Queen 
said with a sigh. 



"And I lost the 
comb yesterday. ' ' 
Alice carefully 
released the brush, 
and did her best to get the hair into order. " Come, 
you look rather better now! " she said, after altering 
most of the pins. "But really you should have a 
lad v's- maid! " 

%j 

" I'm sure I'll take you with pleasure ! " the Queen 
said. " Twopence a week, and jam every other day." 

Alice couldn't help laughing, as she said, " I don't 
want vou to hire mc — and I don't care for jam." 

" It's very good jam," said the Queen. 




WOOL AND WATER. 195 

" Well, I don't want any to-day, at any rate." 

" You couldn't have it if you did want it," the 
Queen said. " The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yes- 
terday but never jam to-day." 

" It must come sometimes to ' jam to-day,' " Alice 
objected. 

" No, it can't," said the Queen. " It's jam every 
other day: to-day isn't any other day, you know." 

" I don't understand you," said Alice. " It's dread- 
fully confusing ! " 

" That's the effect of living backwards," the Queen 
said kindly : " it always makes one a little giddy at 
first " 

" Living backwards ! " Alice repeated in great as- 
tonishment. " I never heard of such a thing ! " 

" but there's one great advantage in it, that one's 

memory works both ways." 

" I'm sure mine only works one way," Alice re- 
marked. " I can't remember things before they happen." 

" It's a poor sort of memory that only works back- 
wards," the Queen remarked. 

" What sort of things do you remember best ? " Alice 
ventured to ask. 

" Oh, things that happened the week after next," the 
Queen replied in a careless tone. " For instance, now," 
she went on, sticking a large piece of plaster on her 
finger as she spoke, " there's the King's Messenger. 
He's in prison now, being punished : and the trial 
doesn't even begin till next Wednesday: and of course 
the crime comes last of all." 

" Suppose he never commits the crime ? ' : said 
Alice. 

" That would be all the better, wouldn't it ? " the 
Queen said, as she bound the plaster round her finger 
with a bit of ribbon. 



106 



THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 




Alice felt there was 
no denying that. "Of 
course it would be all 
the better," she said: 
"but it wouldn't be 
all the better his being 
punished." 

"You're wrong 
tlbere, at any rate," 
said the Queen : ' ' were 
you ever punished? " 
" Only for faults," 
said Alice. 

" And you were all 
the better for it, I 
know ! " the Queen 
said triumphantly. 

' ' Yes, but then I had done the things I was pun- 
ished for," said Alice: " that makes all the differ- 
ence. ' ' 

" But if you hadn't done them," the Queen said, 
" that would have been better still ; better, and better, 
and better ! ' Her voice went higher with each " bet- 
ter," till it got quite to a squeak at last. 

Alice was just beginning to say " There's a mistake 

somewhere ," when the Queen began screaming, so 

loud that she had to leave the sentence unfinished. " Oh, 
oh, oh ! " shouted the Queen ; shaking her hand about 
as if she wanted to shake it off. " My finger's bleed- 
ing ! Oh, oh, oh, oh ! " 

Her screams were so exactly like the whistle of a 
steam-engine, that Alice had to hold both her hands 
over her ears. 



WOOL AND WATER. 197 

" What is the matter ? " she said, as soon as there 
was a chance of making herself heard. " Have you 
pricked your finger ? " 

" I haven't pricked it yet," the Queen said, " but I 
soon shall oh, oh, oh ! " 

" When do you expect to do it ? " Alice asked, feeling 
Very much inclined to laugh. 

" When I fasten my shawl again," the poor Queen 
groaned out : u the brooch will come undone directly. 
Oh, oh ! " As she said the words the brooch flew open, 
and the Queen clutched wildly at it, and tried to clasp 
it again. 

" Take care ! " cried Alice. " You're holding it all 
crooked ! " And she caught at the brooch ; but it was 
too late : the pin had slipped, and the Queen had prickegL 
her finger. 

" That accounts for the bleeding, you see," she said 
to Alice with a smile. " Now you understand the way 
things happen here." 

" But why don't you scream now ? " Alice asked, 
holding her hands ready to put over her ears again. 

" Why, I've done all the screaming already," said 
the Queen. " What would be the good of having it all 



over again 



By this time it was getting light. " The crow must 
have flown away, I think," said Alice : " I'm so glad 
it's gone. I thought it was the night coming on." 

" I wish I could manage to be glad ! " the Queen said. 
" Only I never can remember the rule. You must be 
very happy, living in this wood, and being glad when- 
ever you like ! " 

" Only it is so very lonely here ! " Alice said, in a 
melancholy voice; and at the thought of her loneliness 
two large tears came rolling down her cheeks. 

" Oh, don't go on like that ! " cried the poor Queen, 



198 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

wringing her hands in despair. " Consider what a great 
girl you are. Consider what a long way you've come to- 
day. Consider what o'clock it is. Consider anything, 
only don't cry ! " 

Alice could not help laughing at this, even in the 
midst of her tears. " Can you keep from crying by 
considering things ? " she asked. 

" That's the way it's done," the Queen said with 
great decision ; " nobody can do two things at once, you 
know. Let's consider your age to begin with — how 
old are you ? " 

" I'm seven and a half exactly." 

" You needn't say ' exactnally,' the Queen re- 
marked : " I can believe it without that. Xow I'll give 
you something to believe. I'm just one hundred and 
one, rive months and a day." 

"I can't believe that!''' said Alice. 

" Can't you I ' the Queen said in a pitying tone. 
" Try again : draw a long breath, and shut your 
eyes." 

Alice laughed. " There's no use trying," she said : 
" one can't believe impossible things." 

" I dare say you haven't had much practice," said 
the Queen. " When I was your ac;e, I alwavs did it 
for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed 
as many as six impossible things before breakfast. There 
goes the shawl again ! " 

The brooch had come undone as she spoke, and a sud- 
den gust of wind blew the Queen's shawl across a little 
brook. The Queen spread out her arms again, and 
went flying after it, and this time she succeeded in 
catching it for herself. " I've got it ! " she cried in a 
triumphant tone. " Xow you shall see me pin it on 
again, all by myself ! " 

" Then I hope your finger is better now? " Alice said 



WOOL AND WATER. 199 

very politely, as she crossed the little brook after the 
Queen. 

* * * * * 

* * * * 

" Oh, much better ! " cried the Queen, her voice ris- 
ing into a squeak as she went on. " Much be-etter ! 
Be-etter ! Be-e-e-etter ! Be-e-ehh ! " The last word ended 
in a long bleat, so like a sheep that Alice quite started. 

She looked at the Queen, who seemed to have sud- 
denly wrapped herself up in wooL Alice rubbed her 
eyes, and looked again. She couldn't make out what 
had happened at all. Was she in a shop ? And was that 

really was it really a sheep that was sitting on the 

other side of the counter ? Rub as she would, she could 
make nothing more of it : she was in a little dark shop, 
leaning with her elbows on the counter, and opposite 
to her was an old Sheep, sitting in an arm-chair knit- 
ting, and every now and then leaving off to look at her 
through a great pair of spectacles. 

" What is it you want to buy ? " the Sheep said at 
last, looking up for a moment from her knitting. 

I don't quite know yet," Alice said very gently. 
I should like to look all around me first, if I might." 

" You may look in front of you, and on both sides, if 
you like," said the Sheep ; " but you can't look all round 
you unless you've got eyes at the back of your head." 

But these, as it happened, Alice had not got : so she 
contented herself with turning round, looking at the 
shelves as she came to them. 

The shop seemed to be full of all manner of curious 
things but the oddest part of it all was, that when- 
ever she looked hard at any shelf, to make out exactly 



a 



200 



THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 



what it bad on it, that particular shelf was always quite 
empty : though the others round it were crowded as full 
as they could hold. 

" Things flow about so here! " she said at last in a 
plaintive tone, after she had spent a minute or so in 
vainly pursuing a large bright thing, that looked some- 



dir 

mm 











times like a doll and sometimes like a work-box, and 
was always in the shelf next above the one she was look- 
ing at. " And this one is the most provoking of all 

but I'll tell you what " she added, as a sudden 

thought struck her, " I'll follow it up to the very top 
shelf of all. It'll puzzle it to go through the ceiling, I 
expect ! " 



WOOL AND WATER. 201 

But even this plan failed : the " thing " went through 
the ceiling as quietly as possible, as if it were quite used 
to it. 

" Are you a child or a teetotum % " the Sheep said, 
as she took up another pair of needles. " You'll make 
me giddy soon, if you go on turning round like that." 
She was now working with fourteen pairs at once, and 
Alice couldn't help looking at her in great astonishment. 

" How can she knit with so many % " the puzzled child 
thought to herself. " She gets more and more like a 
porcupine every minute ! " 

" Can you row % " the Sheep asked, handing her a 
pair of knitting-needles as she spoke. 

" Yes, a little but not on land and not with 

needles " Alice was beginning to say, when sud- 
denly the needles turned into oars in her hands, and 
she found they were in a little boat, gliding along be- 
tween banks : so there was nothing for it but to do her 
best. 

" Feather ! " cried the Sheep, as she took up another 
pair of needles. 

This didn't sound like a remark that needed any 
answer, so Alice said nothing, but pulled away. There 
was something very queer about the water, she thought, 
as every now and then the oars got fast in it, and 
would hardly come out again. 

" Feather ! Feather ! " the Sheep cried again, taking 
more needles. " You'll be catching a crab directly." 

" A dear little crab ! " thought Alice. " I should 
like that." 

" Didn't you hear me say ' Feather ' ? " the Sheep 
cried angrily, taking up quite a bunch of needles. 

" Indeed I did," said Alice : " you've said it very 
often and very loud. Please, where are the crabs ? " 

" In the water, of course ! " said the Sheep, sticking 



202 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

some of the needles into her hair, as her hands "were 
full. " Feather, I say ! " 

" Why do you say ' Feather ' so often ? ' : Alice 
asked at last, rather vexed. " I'm not a bird ! " 

" You are," said the Sheep : " you're a little goose." 

This offended Alice a little, so there was no more 
conversation for a minute or two, while the boat glided 
gently on, sometimes among beds of weeds (which made 
the oars stick fast in the water, worse than ever), and 
sometimes under trees, but always with the same tall 
river-banks frowning over their heads. 

" Oh, please ! There are some scented rushes ! " Alice 
cried in a sudden transport of delight. " There really 
are and such beauties ! " 

" You needn't say " please ' to me about 'em," the 
Sheep said, without looking up from her knitting : " I 
didn't put 'em there, and I'm not going to take 'em 
away." 

" Xo, but I meant please, may we wait and pick 

some ? " Alice pleaded. " If you don't mind stopping 
the boat for a minute." 

" How am I to stop it ? " said the Sheep. " If you 
leave off rowing, it'll stop of itself." 

So the boat was left to drift down the stream as it 
would, till it glided gently in among the waving rushes. 
And then the little sleeves were carefully rolled up, 
and the little arms were plunged in elbow-deep, to get 
hold of the rushes a good long wav down before breaking 

them off and for a while Alice forgot all about the 

Sheep, and the knitting, as she bent over the side of the 
boat, with just the ends of her tangled hair dipping 

into the water while with bright, eager eves she 

caught at one bunch after another of the darling scented 
rushes. 

" I only hope the boat won't tipple over ! " she said 



WOOL AND WATER. 203 

to herself. " Oh, what a lovely one ! Only I couldn't 
quite reach it." And it certainly did seem a little pro- 
voking (" almost as if it happened on purpose," she 
thought) that, though she managed to pick plenty of 
beautiful rushes as the boat glided by, there was always 
a more lovely one that she couldn't reach. 

" The prettiest are always further ! " she said at last, 
with a sigh at the obstinacy of the rushes in growing so 
far off, as, with flushed cheeks and dripping hair and 
hands, she scrambled back into her place, and began 
to arrange her new-found treasures. 

What mattered it to her just then that the rushes had 
begun to fade, and to lose all their scent and beauty, 
from the very moment that she picked them ? Even real 
scented rushes, you know, last only a very little while 

and these, being dream-rushes, melted away almost 

like snow, as they lay in heaps at her feet but Alice 

hardly noticed this, there were so many other curious 
things to think about. 

They hadn't gone much farther before the blade of 
one of the oars got fast in the water and wouldn't come 
out again (so Alice explained it afterward), and the 
consequence was that the handle of it caught her under 
the chin, and, in spite of a series of little shrieks of 
" Oh, oh, oh ! " from poor Alice, it swept her straight 
off the seat, an'd down among the heap of rushes. 

However she wasn't a bit hurt, and was soon up 
again : the Sheep went on with her knitting all the 
while, just as if nothing had happened. " That was 
a nice crab you caught ! " she remarked, as Alice got 
back into her place, very much relieved to find herself 
still in the boat. 

" Was it? I didn't see it," said Alice, peeping cau- 
tiously over the side of the boat into the dark water. 
" I wish it hadn't let go 1 should so like a little crab 



204: 



THROUGH THE LOOKING-HOUSE. 



to take home with me ! ' : But the Sheep only laughed 
scornfully, and went on with her knitting. 

" Are there many crabs here ( " said Alice. 

" Crabs, and all sorts of things," said the Sheep: 
" plenty of choice, only make up your mind. Now, 
what do you want to buv ' ' 








&7Z 



v .-ji£y^r^^— . '-^ m -^j*" 




" To buy ! " Alice echoed in a tone that was half as- 
tonished and half frightened for the oars, and the 

boat, and the river, had vanished all in a moment, and 
she was back again in the little dark shop. 

" I should like to buy an egg, please," she said tim- 
idly. " How do you sell them ? " 



WOOL AND WATER. 205 



u 



Fivepence farthing for one twopence for two," 

the Sheep replied. 

" Then two are cheaper than one ? " Alice said in a 
surprised tone, taking out her purse. 

" Only you must eat them both, if you buy two," 
said the Sheep. 

" Then I'll have one, please," said Alice, as she put 
the money down on the counter. For she thought to 
herself, " They mightn't be at all nice, you know." 

The Sheep took the money, and put it away in a 
box : then she said, " I never put things into people's 

hands that would never do you must get it for 

yourself." And so saying, she went off to the other end 
of the shop, and set the egg upright on a shelf. 

" I Avonder why it wouldn't do ? " thought Alice, as 
she groped her way among the tables and chairs, for the 
shop was very dark toward the end. " The egg seems 
to get further away the more I walk toward it. Let 
me see, is this a chair. Why, it's got branches, I de- 
clare ! How very odd to find trees growing here ! And 
actually here's a little brook ! Well, this is the very 
queerest shop I ever saw ! " 

***** 
* # * * 

***** 

So she went on, wondering more and more at every 
step, as everything turned into a tree the moment she 
came up to it, and she quite expected the egg to do the 
same. 



CHAPTER VI. 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 



However, the egg only got larger and larger, and 
more and more human : when she had come within a 
few yards of it, she saw that it had eyes and a nose and 
mouth ; and when she had come close to it, she saw 
clearly that it was HUMPTY DUMPTY himself. " It 
can't be anybody else ! " she said to herself. " I'm as 
certain of it, as if his name were written all over his 
face ! " 

It might have been written a hundred times, easily, 
on that enormous face. Humpty Dumpty was sitting 
with his legs crossed, like a Turk, on the top of a high 

wall such a narrow one that Alice quite wondered 

how he could keep his balance and, as his eyes were 

steadily fixed in the opposite direction, and he didn't 
take the least notice of her, she thought he must be a 
stuffed figure after all. 

" And how exactly like an egg he is ! " she said aloud, 
standing with her hands ready to catch him, for she 
was every moment expecting him to fall. 

" It's very provoking," Humpty Dumpty said after 
a long silence, looking aAvay from Alice as he spoke, " to 
be called an egg very! " 

" I said you looked like an egg, Sir," Alice gently 
explained. " And some eggs are very pretty, you 
know," she added, hoping to turn her remark into a sort 
of compliment. 

" Some people," said Humpty Dumpty, looking away 
from her as usual, " have no more sense than a baby ! " 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 207 

Alice didn't know what to say to this: it wasn't at 
all like conversation, she thought, as he never said 
anything to her; in fact, his last remark was evidently 

addressed to a tree so she stood and softly repeated 

to herself: — 

" Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall: 
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. 
All the King's horses and all the King's men 
Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty in his place again." 



a 



That last line is much too long for the poetry," she 
added, almost out loud, forgetting that Humpty Dumpty 
would hear her. 

" Don't stand chattering to yourself like that," 
Humpty Dumpty said, looking at her for the first time, 
" but tell me your name and your business." 

" My name is Alice, but " 

" It's a stupid name enough ! " Humpty Dumpty 
interrupted, impatiently. " What does it mean ? " 

' Must a name mean something ? " Alice asked, 
doubtfully. 

" Of course it must," Humpty Dumpty said, with a 

short laugh : " my name means the shape I am and 

a good, handsome shape it is, too. With a name like 
yours, you might be any shape, almost." 

" Why do you sit out here all alone ? " said Alice, 
not wishing to begin an argument. 

" Why, because there's nobody with me ! ' cried 
Humpty Dumpty. " Did you think I didn't know the 
answer to that? Ask another." 

" Don't you think you'd be safer down on the 
ground ? " Alice went on, not with any idea of making 
another riddle, but simply in her good-natured anxiety 
for the queer creature. " That wall is so very narrow ! " 

" What tremendously easy riddles you ask ! " Humpty 



208 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

Dumpty growled out. "Of course I don't think so! 

Why, if ever I did fall off which there's no chance 

of hut if I did " Here he pursed up his lips, 

and looked so solemn and grand that Alice could hardlv 
help laughing. " If I did fall," he went on, " tJie King 

has promised me all, you may turn pale, if you 

like ! You didn't think I was going to say that, did 

you? The King has promised me with his very 

own mouth to to " 

" To send all his horses and all his men," Alice in- 
terrupted, rather unwisely. 

" Xow I declare that's too had ! " Humpty Dumpty 
cried, breaking into a sudden passion. " You've been 

listening at doors and behind trees and down 

chimneys— — or you couldn't have known it ! ' 

" I haven't, indeed! " Alice said, very gently. " It's 
in a book." 

" Ah, well ! They may write such things in a book/' 
Humpty Dumpty said, in a calmer tone. " That's what 
you call a History of England, that is. Xow, take a 

%J «.' O 7 7 

good look at me ! I'm one that has spoken to a King, / 
am : mayhap you'll never see such another : and to show 
you I'm not proud, you may shake hands with me! ' 
And he grinned almost from ear to ear, as he leaned 
forward (and as nearly as possible fell off the wall in 
doing so) and offered Alice his hand. She watched 
him a little anxiously as she took it. " If he smiled 
much more, the ends of his mouth might meet behind," 
she thought; " and then I don't know what would hap- 
pen to his head ! I'm afraid it would come off ! ' 

" Yes, all his horses and all his men," Humpty 
Dumpty went on. " They'd pick me up again in a 
minute, they would ! However, this conversation is go- 
ing on a little too fast; let's go back to the last remark 
but one." 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 



209 




"I'm afraid I can't 
quite remember it, "Alice 
said, very politely. 

' ' In that case we start 
fresh," said Humpty 
Dumpty, "and it's my 
turn to choose a subject 

" ("He talks about 

it just as if it was a game!" thought Alice.) So 
here's a question for you. How old did you say you 
were ? ' ' 

Alice made a short calculation, and said, " Seven 
years and six months." 

" Wrong ! " Humpty Dumpty exclaimed, trium- 
phantly. " You never said a word like it ! " 

" I thought you meant l How old are you ? ' " Alice 
explained. 

" If I'd meant that, I'd have said it," said Humpty 
Dumpty. 

Alice didn't want to begin another argument, so she 
said nothing. 

" Seven years and six months ! " Humpty Dumpty 
14 



210 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

repeated, thoughtfully. " An uncomfortable sort of 
age. Now if you'd ask my advice, I'd have said, ' Leave 
off at seven ' — but it's too late now." 

" I never ask advice about growing," Alice said, in- 
dignantlv. 

" Too proud % " the other inquired. 

Alice felt even more indignant at this suggestion. " I 
mean," she said, " that one can't help growing older." 

" One can't, perhaps," said Humpty Dumpty, " but 
two can. With proper assistance, you might have left 
off at seven." 

" What a beautiful belt you've got on ! " Alice sud- 
denly remarked. (They had had quite enough of the 
subject of age, she thought : and if they really were to 
take turns in choosing subjects, it was her turn now.) 
" At least," she corrected herself on second thoughts, 

" a beautiful cravat, I should have said no, a belt, I 

mean 1 beg your pardon ! " she added, in dismay, 

for Humpty Dumpty looked thoroughly offended, and 
she began to wish she hadn't chosen that subject. " If 
only I knew," she thought to herself, " which was neck 
and which was waist ! " 

Evidently Humpty Dumpty was very angry, though 
he said nothing for a minute or two. When he did 
speak, it was in a deep growl. 

" It is a most provoking thing," he said 

at last, " when a person doesn't know a cravat from a 
belt!" 

" I know it's very ignorant of me," Alice said, in so 
humble a tone that Humpty Dumpty relented. 

" It's a cravat, child, and a beautiful one, as you 
say. It's a present from the White King and Queen. 
There now ! " 

" Is it really ? " said Alice, quite pleased to find that 
she had chosen a good subject, after all. 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 211 

" They gave it me," Humpty Dumpty continued, 
thoughtfully, as he crossed one knee over the other and 
clasped his hands round it, " they gave it me — for an 
un-birthday present." 

" I beg your pardon ? " Alice said, with a puzzled 
air. 

" I'm not offended," said Humpty Dumpty. 

" I mean, what is an un-birthday present ? ' : 

" A present given when it isn't your birthday, of 
course." 

Alice considered a little. " I like birthday presents 
best," she said, at last. 

" You don't know what you're talking about ! ' 
cried Humpty Dumpty. " How many days are there 
in a year ? " 

" Three hundred and sixty-five," said Alice. 

" And how many birthdays have you % " 

"One." 

" And if you take one from three hundred and sixty- 
five, what remains ? " 

" Three hundred and sixty-four, of course." 

Humpty Dumpty looked doubtful. " I'd rather see 
that done on paper," he said. 

Alice couldn't help smiling as she took out her memo- 
randum book, and worked the sum for him : 

365 
1 



364 



Humpty Dumpty took the book, and looked at it 
carefully. " That seems to be done right " he be- 
gan. 

" You're holding it upside down ! " Alice interrupted. 

" To be sure I was ! " Humpty Dumpty said, gaily, as 



212 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

she turned it round for him. " I thought it looked a 
little queer. As I was saying, that seems to be done 
right though I haven't time to look it over thorough- 
ly just now and that shows that there are three hun- 
dred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birth- 
day presents " 

" Certainly/' said Alice. 

" And only one for birthday presents, you know. 
There's glory for you ! " 

"I don't know what. you mean by 'glory,'" Alice 
said. 

Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. " Of 
course you don't — till I tell you. I meant ' there's a 
nice knock-down argument for you ! ' " 

" But ' glory ' doesn't mean ' a nice knock-down ar- 
gument,' " Alice objected. 

" When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in 
rather a scornful tone, " it means just what I choose it 
to mean neither more nor less." 

" The question is," said Alice, " whether you can 
make words mean so many different things." 

" The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, " which 
is to be master that's all." 

Alice was too much puzzled to say anything, so 
after a minute Humpty Dumpty began again. " They've 

a temper, some of them particularly verbs, they're 

the proudest adjectives you can do anything with, 

but not verbs however, / can manage the whole lot 

of them ! Impenetrability ! That's what / say ! ' 

" Would you tell me, please," said Alice, " what that 



means 

« AT 



? » 



Now you talk like a reasonable child," said Humpty 
Dumpty, looking very much pleased. " I meant by 
i impenetrability ' that we've had enough of that sub- 
ject, and it would be just as well if you'd mention what 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 213 

you mean to do next, as I suppose you don't mean to 
stop here all the rest of your life." 

" That's a great deal to make one word mean," Alice 
said, in a thoughtful tone. 

" When I make a word do a lot of work like that," 
said Humpty Dumpty, " I always pay it extra." 

" Oh ! " said Alice. She was too much puzzled to 
make any other remark. 

" Ah, you should see 'em come round me of a Sat- 
urday night," Humpty Dumpty went on, wagging his 
head gravely from side to side : " for to get their wages, 
you know." 

(Alice didn't venture to ask what he paid them with ; 
and so you see I can't tell you.) 

" You seem very clever at explaining words, Sir," 
said Alice. " Would you kindly tell me the meaning 
of the poem called ' Jabberwocky ' ? " 

" Let's hear it," said Humpty Dumpty. " I can ex- 
plain all the poems that ever were invented and a 

good many that haven't been invented just yet." 

This sounded very hopeful, so Alice repeated the first 
verse : 

" 'Tivas briUig, and the slithy toves 

Did gyve and gimble in the wdbe: 
All mimsy were the borogoves, 
And the mome raths outgrabe." 

" That's enough to begin with," Humpty Dumpty in- 
terrupted : " there are plenty of hard words there. 

' Brillig ' means four o'clock in the afternoon the 

time when you begin broiling things for dinner." 
" That'll 'do very well," said Alice: " and ' slithy T y 
" Well, ' slithy ' means ' lithe and slimy,' ' Lithe ' 
is the same as ' active.' You see it's like a portmanteau 



014 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

ihere are two meanings packed up into one word." 

" I see it now," Alice remarked thoughtfully : " and 

what are ' toves'V 

" Well ' tores ' are something like badgers they're 

something like lizards and they're something like 

corkscrews." 




" They must be very curious-looking creatures." 

" They are that," said Humpty Dumpty: " also tiey 

make their nests under sun-dials also they live on 

cheese." 

And what's to ' gyre ' and to ' gimble *? " 

To ' gyre ' is to go round and round like a gyro- 



u 
(I 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 215 

scope. To ' gimble' is to make holes like a gimblet." 

" And ' the wabe ' is the grass-plot round a sun-dial, I 
suppose ? " said Alice, surprised at her own ingenuity. 

" Of course it is. It's called ' wabe,' you know, be- 
cause it goes a long way before it, and a long way be- 
hind it " 

" And a long way beyond it on each side," Alice 
added. 

" Exactly so. Well then, ' mimsy ' is ' flimsy and 
miserable ' (there's another portmanteau for you. And 
a ' borogove ' is a thin, shabby-looking bird with its 

feathers sticking out all round something like a live 

mop." 

"And then ' mome ruths'?'' said Alice. "I'm 
afraid I'm giving you a great deal of trouble." 

" Well, a ' ratli ' is a sort of green pig: but ' mome ' 
I'm not certain about. I think it's short for ' from 

home ' meaning that they'd lost their way, you 

know." 

" And what does ' outgrabe ' mean % " 

" Well, ' outgribing ' is something between bellowing 
and whistling, with a kind of sneeze in the middle : how- 
ever, you'll hear it done, maybe down in the wood 

yonder and when you've once heard it you'll be 

quite content. Who's been repeating all that hard stuff 
to you ? " 

" I read it in a book," said Alice. " But I had some 

poetry repeated to me, much easier than that, by ■ 

Tweedledee, I think it was." 

" As to poetry, you know," said Humpty Dumpty, 
stretching out one of his great hands, " I can repeat 
poetry as well as other folk, if it comes to that " 

" Oh, it needn't come to that ! " Alice hastily said, 
hoping to keep him from beginning. 

" The piece I'm going to repeat," he went on, without 



216 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

noticing her remark, " was written entirely for your 
amusement." 

Alice felt that in that case she really ought to listen 
to it, so she sat down, and said " Thank you," rather 
sadly. 

' In winter, when the fields are white, 
I sing this song for your delight 



only I don't sing it," he added, as an explanation. 

" I see you don't," said Alice. 

" If you can see whether I'm singing or not, you've 
sharper eyes than most," Ilumpty Dumpty remarked 
severely. Alice was silent. 

" In spring, when woods are getting green, 
I'll try and tell you what I mean." 

" Thank you very much," said Alice. 

" In summer, when the days are long, 
Perhaps you'll understand the song: 

" In autumn, when the leaves are brown, 
Take pen and ink, and write it down." 

" I will, if I can remember it so long," said Alice. 

" You needn't go on making remarks like that," 
Humpty Dumpty said : " they're not sensible, and they 
put me out." 

" I sent a message to the fish: 
I told them ' This is what I wish/ 



The little fishes of the sea, 
They sent an answer back to me. 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 217 



" The little fishes' answer was 
' We cannot do it, Sir, because- 



) it 



" I'm afraid I don't quite understand," said Alice. 
" It get's easier further on/' Humpty Dumpty re- 
plied." 

" / sent to them again to say 
' It will be better to obey.' 

" The fishes answered with a grin, 
' Why, what a temper you are in! ' 

" I told them once, I told them twice : 
They woidd not listen to advice. 

" I took a kettle large and new, 
Fit for the deed I had to do. 

" My heart went hop, my heart went thump; 
I filled the kettle at the pump. 

" Then some one came to me and said, 
' The little fishes are in bed.' 

" I said to him, I said it plain, 
i Then you must wake them up again.' 

" I said it very loud and clear ; 
I went and shouted in his ear." 

■ 

Humpty Dumpty raised his voice almost to a scream 
as he repeated this verse, and Alice thought with a shud- 
der, " I wouldn't have been the messenger for any- 
thing ! " 



218 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

"But lie was very stiff and proud; 
He said 'You needn't shout so loud!' 



And lie was very proud and stiff ; 
He said ' I'd go and wake them, if- 



I took a corkscrew from the shelf : 
I went to wake them up myself. 




"And when I found the door was locked, 
I pulled and pushed and kicked and kmcked. 

"And ichen I found the door was shut, 
I tried to turn the handle, but " 



There was a long pause. 

" Is that all ? " Alice timidly asked. 



HUMPTY DUMPTY. 219 

" That's all," said Humpty Dumpty. " Good-bye." 

This was rather sudden, Alice thought : but, after such 
a very strong hint that she ought to be going, she felt 
that it would hardly be civil to stay. So she got up, and 
held out her hand. " Good-bye, till we meet again ! " 
she said as cheerfully as she could. 

" I shouldn't know you again if we did meet," 
Humpty Dumpty replied in a discontented tone, giving 
her one of his fingers to shake ; " you're so exactly like 
other people." 

" The face is what one goes by, generally," Alice re- 
marked in a thoughtful tone. 

" That's just what I complain of," said Humpty 
Dumpty. " Your face is the same as everybody has 

-the two eyes, so " (marking their places in the 

air with his thumb) " nose in the middle, mouth under. 
It's always the same. ISTow if you had the two eyes on 

the same side of the nose, for instance or the mouth 

at the top — ■ — that would be some help." 

" It wouldn't look nice," Alice objected. But 
Humpty Dumpty only shut his eyes and said, " Wait 
till you've tried." 

Alice waited a minute to see if he would speak again, 
but as he never opened his eyes or took any further 
notice of her, she said " Good-bye ! " once more, and, 
getting no answer to this, she quietly walked away: but 
she couldn't help saying to herself as she went, " Of 

all the unsatisfactory " (she repeated this aloud, as 

it was a great comfort to have such a long word to say) 

" of all the unsatisfactory people I ever met -" She 

never finished the sentence, for at this moment a heavy 
crash shook the forest from end to end. 



CHAPTER VII. 



THE LION AND THE UNICORN. 



The next moment soldiers came running through the 
wood, at first in twos and threes, then ten or twenty to- 
gether, and at last in such crowds that they seemed to 
fill the whole forest. Alice got behind a tree, for fear 
of being run over, and watched them go by. 

She thought that in all her life she had never seen 
soldiers so uncertain on their feet : they were always 
tripping over something or other, and whenever one 
went down, several more always fell over him, so that 
the ground was soon covered with little heaps of men. 

Then came the horses. Having four feet these man- 
aged rather better than the foot-soldiers : but even they 
stumbled now and then : and it seemed to be a regular 
rule that, whenever a horse stumbled, the rider fell off 
instantly. The confusion got worse every moment, and 
Alice was very glad to get out of the wood into an open 
place, where she found the White King seated on the 
ground, busily writing in his memorandum-book. 

" I've sent them all ! " the King cried in a tone of de- 
light, on seeing Alice. " Did you happen to meet any 
soldiers, my dear, as you came through the wood ? ' : 

"Yes, I did," said Alice: "several thousand, I 
should think." 

" Four thousand two hundred and seven, that's the 
exact number," the King said, referring to his book. 
" I couldn't send all the horses, you know, because two 
of them are wanted in the game. And I haven't sent the 
two Messengers, either. They're both gone to the town. 

220 



THE LION AND THE UNICORN. 



221 



Just look along the road, and tell me if you can see 
either of them." 

" I see nobody on the road," said Alice. 

"I only wish I had such eyes," the King remarked 
in a fretful tone. " To be able to see Nobody ! And at 
that distance too ! Why, it's as much as I can do to see 
real people by this light ! " 




All this was lost on Alice, who was still looking in- 
tently along the road, shading her eyes with one hand. 
" I see somebody now ! " she exclaimed at last. " But 

he's coming very slowly and what curious attitudes 

he goes into ! " (For the Messenger kept skipping up 



222 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

and down, and wriggling like an eel, as he came along, 
with his great hands spread out like fans on each side.) 

" Not at all," said the King. " He's an Anglo-Saxon 

Messenger and those are Anglo-Saxon attitudes. 

He only does them when he's happy. His name is 
Haigha." (He pronounced it so as to rhyme with 
" mayor.'') 

" I love my love with an II," Alice couldn't help be- 
ginning, " because he is Happy. I hate him with an 

II, because he is Hideous. I feed him with with 

with Ham-sandwiches and Hay. His name is 

Haigha, and he lives " 

" He lives on the Hill," the King remarked simply, 
without the least idea that he was joining in the game, 
while Alice was still hesitating for the name of a town 
beginning with II. " The other Messenger's called 
Hatta. I must have two, you know — to come and go. 
One to come, and one to go." 

" I beg your pardon ? " said Alice. 

" It isn't respectable to beg," said the King. 

" I only meant that I didn't understand," said Alice. 
" Whv one to come and one to go ? " 

" Don't I tell you ? " the King repeated impatiently. 

" I must have two to fetch and carry. One to fetch, 

and one to carry." 

At this moment the Messenger arrived : he was far too 
much out of breath to say a word, and could only wave 
his hands about, and make the most fearful faces at 
the poor King. 

" This young lady loves you with an II," the King 
said, introducing Alice in the hope of turning off the 

messenger's attention from himself but it was no use 

■ the Anglo-Saxon attitudes only got more extraordi- 
nary every moment, while the great eyes rolled wildly 
from side to side. 



THE LION AND THE UNICORN. 



223 



" You alarm me ! " said the King. " I feel faint 

Give me a ham sandwich ! " 

On which the Messenger, to Alice's great amusement, 
opened a bag that hung round his neck, and handed a 
sandwich to the King, who devoured it greedily. 

" Another sandwich ! " said the King. 

" There's nothing but hay left now," the Messenger 
said, peeping into the bag. 




" Hay, then," the King murmured, in a faint whis- 
per. 

Alice was glad to see that it revived him a good deal. 
" There's nothing like eating hay when you're faint," 
he remarked to her, as he munched awav. 

" I should think throwing cold water over you would 
be better," Alice suggested : " or some sal-volatile." 

" I didn't say there was nothing better," the King 
replied. " I said there was nothing like it." Which 
Alice did not venture to deny. 



224 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

" Who did you pass on the road ? " the King went 
on, holding out his hand to the Messenger for some 
more hay. 

" Nobody," said the Messenger. 

"Quite right," said the King: "this young lady 
saw him too. So of course Nobody walks slower than 
you." 

" I do my best," the Messenger said in a sullen tone. 
" I'm sure nobody walks much faster than I do ! " 

" He can't do that," said the King, " or else he'd have 
been here first. However, now you've got your breath, 
you may tell us what's happened in the town." 

" I'll whisper it," said the Messenger, putting his 
hands to his mouth in the shape of a trumpet, and stoop- 
ing so as to get close to the King's ear. Alice was sorrv 
for this, as she wanted to hear the news too. However, 
instead of whispering, he simply shouted at the top of 
his voice, " They're at it again ! " 

" Do you call that a whisper ? " cried the poor King, 
jumping up and shaking himself. " If you do such a 
thing again, I'll have you buttered ! It went through 
and through my head like an earthquake ! ' 

" It would have to be a very tiny earthquake ! ' 
thought Alice. " Who are at it again ? " she ventured 
to ask. 

" Why, the Lion and the Unicorn, of course," said 
the King. 

" Fighting for the crown ? " 

" Yes, to be sure," said the King: " and the best of 
the joke is, that it's my crown all the while ! Let's run 
and see them." And they trotted off, Alice repeating to 
herself, as she ran, the words of the old song: — 

Te The Lion and the Unicorn were fighting for the crown: 
The Lion heat the Unicorn all round the town. 



THE LION AND THE UNICORN. 225 

Some gave them white bread, some gave them brown; 
Some gave them plum-cake and drummed them out of 
town." 

" Does the one that wins get the 

crown ? " she asked, as well as she could, for the run was 
putting her quite out of breath. 

" Dear me, no ! " said the King. " What an idea ! " 

" Would you be good enough," Alice panted out, 

after running a little further, " to stop a minute ■ 

just to get one's breath again ? " 

" I'm good enough," the King said, " only I'm not 
strong enough. You see, a minute goes by so fearfully 
quick. You might as well try to stop a Bandersnatch ! " 

Alice had no more breath for talking, so they trotted 
on in silence, till they came in sight of a great crowd, 
in the middle of which the Lion and Unicorn were 
fighting. They were in such a cloud of dust, that at first 
Alice could not make out which was which: but she 
soon managed to distinguish the Unicorn bv his horn. 

They placed themselves close to where Hatta, the 
other Messenger, was standing watching the first, with 
a cup of tea in one hand and a piece of bread-and-butter 
in the other. 

" He's only just out of prison, and he hadn't finished 
his tea when he was sent in," Haigha whispered to 
Alice : " and they only gave them oyster-shells in there 

■ so you see he's very hungry and thirsty. How are 

you, dear child ? " he went on, putting his arm affec- 
tionately round Hatta's neck. 

Hatta looked round and nodded, and went on with 
his bread-and-butter. 

" Were you happy in prison, dear child ? " said 
Haigha. 

Hatta looked round once more, and this time a tear 
15 



226 



THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 



or two trickled down his cheek: but not a word would 
lie say. 

" Speak, can't you ! " Haigha cried impatiently. But 
Hatta only munched away, and drank some more tea. 

" Speak, won't you ! " cried the King. " How are 
they getting on Avith the fight ? " 

Hatta made a desperate effort, and swallowed a large 
piece of bread-and-butter. " They're getting on very 
well," he said in a choking voice: ''each of them has 
ibeen down about eighty-seven times." 




a 



Then I suppose they'll soon bring the white bread 
-and the brown ? " Alice ventured to remark. 

"It's waiting for 'em now," said Hatta: "this is a 
bit of it as I'm eating." 

There was a pause in the fight just then, and the 
Lion and the Unicorn sat down, panting, while the 
King called out " Ten minutes allowed for refresh- 
ments ! " Haigha and Hatta set to work at once, car- 
rying round trays of white and brown bread. Alice 
7i.ook a piece to taste, but it was very dry. 



THE LION AND THE UNICORN. 22? 

" I don't think they'll fight any more to-day," the 
King said to Hatta : " go and order the drums to begin." 
And Hatta went bounding away like a grasshopper. 

For a minute or two Alice stood silent, watching 
him. Suddenly she brightened up. " Look ! look ! " she 
cried, pointing eagerly. " There's the White Queen 
running across the country ! She came flying out <# 

the wood over yonder How fast those Queens can 

run ! " " 

" There's some enemy after her, no doubt," the King 
said, without even looking round. " That wood's full 
of them." 

" But aren't you going to run and help her ? " Alice 
asked, very much surprised at his taking it so quietly. 

" ISTo use, no use ! " said the King. " She runs so 
fearfully quick. You might as well try to catch a Ban- 
dersnatch ! But I'll make a memorandum about her,. 

if you like She's a dear good creature," he repeated 

softly to himself, as he opened his memorandum-book. 
" Do you spell ' creature ' with a double ' e ' ? ' : 

At this moment the Unicorn sauntered by them, with 
his hands in his pockets. " I had the best of it this 
time ? " he said to the King, just glancing at him as he 
passed. 

" A little a little," the King replied, rather ner- 
vously. " You shouldn't have run him through with 
your horn, you know." 

" It didn't hurt him," the Unicorn said carelessly., 
and he was going on, when his eye happened to fall upon 
Alice: he turned round instantly, and stood for some- 
time looking at her with an air of the deepest dis- 
gust. 

" What is this ? " he said at last. 

" This is a child ! " Haigha replied eagerly, coming, 
in front of Alice to introduce her, and spreading out 



228 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

both his hands toward her in an Anglo-Saxon attitude. 
" We only found it to-day. It's as large as life, and 
twice as natural ! " 

" I always thought they were fabulous monsters ! ' : 
said the Unicorn. " Is it alive \ " 

" It can talk," said Haigha, solemnly. 

The Unicorn looked dreamily at Alice, and said 
" Talk, child." 

Alice could not help her lips curling up into a smile 
as she began : " Do you know, I always thought Uni- 
corns were fabulous monsters, too ! I never saw one 
alive before ! " 

" Well, now that we have seen each other," said the 
Unicorn, " if you'll believe in me, I'll believe in you. 
Is that a bargain \ " 

" Yes, if you like," said Alice. 

" Come, fetch out the plum-cake, old man ! ' the 
Unicorn went on, turning from her to the King. " Xone 
of your brown bread for me ! " 

" Certainly certainly ! " the Kinsr muttered, and 

beckoned to Haigha. " Open the bag ! " he whispered. 
" Quick ! ISTot that one that's full of hay ! " 

Haigha took a large cake out of the bag, and gave 
it to Alice to hold, while he got out a dish and carving- 
knife. How they all came out of it Alice couldn't 
guess. It was just like a conjuring-trick, she thought. 

The Lion had joined them while this was going on: 
he looked very tired and sleepy, and his eyes were half 
shut. " What's this ! " he said, blinking lazily at Alice, 
and speaking in a deep hollow tone that sounded like the 
tolling of a great bell. 

" Ah, what is it, now \ " the Unicorn cried eagerly. 
" You'll never guess ! I couldn't." 

The Lion looked at Alice wearily. " Are you animal 



THE LION AND THE UNICORN. 



229 



or vegetable or mineral ? " he said, yawning at 

every other word. 

" It's a fabulous monster ! " the Unicorn cried out, 
before Alice could reply. 

" Then hand round the plum-cake, Monster," the 
Lion said, lying down and putting his chin on his paws. 
"And sit down, both of you," (to the King and the 
Unicorn) : " fair play with the cake, you know! ' : 

The King was evidently very uncomfortable at hav- 
ing to sit down between the two great creatures; but 
there was no other place for him. 




" What a fight we might have for the crown, now!" 
the Unicorn said, looking slyly up at the crown, which 
the poor King was nearly shaking off his head, he trem- 
bled so much. 

" I should win easy," said the Lion. 

" I'm not so sure of that," said the Unicorn. 

" Why, I beat you all round the town, you chicken ! " 
the Lion replied angrily, half getting up as he spoke. 

Here the King interrupted, to prevent the quarrel 



230 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

going on: he was very nervous, and his voice quite 
quivered. " All round the town ? " he said. " That's 
a good long way. Did you go by the old bridge, or the 
market-place ? You get the best view by the old 
bridge." 

" I'm sure I don't know," the Lion growled out as 
he lay down again. " There was too much dust to see 
anvthing. What a time the Monster is, cutting up that 
cake!" 

Alice had seated herself on the bank of a little brook, 
with the great dish on her knees, and was sawing away 
diligently with the knife. " It's very provoking ! " she 
said, in reply to the Lion (she was getting quite used to 
being called " the Monster "). " I've cut several slices 
already, but they alwavs "join on again ! " 

" You don't know how to manage Looking-glass 
cakes," the Unicorn remarked. " Hand it round first, 
and cut it afterward." 

This sounded nonsense, but Alice very obediently 
got up, and carried the dish round, and the cake divided 
itself into three pieces as she did so. " Now cut it up," 
said the Lion, as she returned to her place with the 
empty dish. 

" I say, this isn't fair ! " cried the Lmicorn, as Alice 
sat with the knife in her hand, very much puzzled how 
to begin. " The Monster has given the Lion twice as 
much as me ! " 

" She's kept none for herself, anyhow," said the Lion. 
" Do you like plum-cake, Monster ? " 

But before Alice could answer him, the drums began. 

Where the noise came from, she couldn't make out : 
the air seemed full of it, and it rang through and 
through her head till she felt quite deafened. She 
started to her feet and sprang across the little brook in 
her terror, and had just time to see the Lion and the 



THE LION AND THE UNICORN. 



231 




Unicorn rise to their feet, with angry looks at being 
interrupted in their feast, before she dropped to her 
knees, and put her hands over her ears, vainly trying to 
shut out the dreadful uproar. 

" If that doesn't ' drum them out of town/ " she 
thought to herself, " nothing ever will ! " 



CHAPTER VIII. 

" it's my own invention." 

After a while the noise seemed gradually to die 
away, till all was dead silence, and AJice lifted up her 
head in some alarm. There was no one to he seen, and 
her first thought was that she must have been dreaming 
about the Lion and the Unicorn and those queer Anglo- 
Saxon Messengers. However, there was the great dish 
still lying at her feet, on which she had tried to cut 
the plum-cake, " So I wasn't dreaming, after all," she 

said to herself, " unless unless we're all part of the 

same dream. Only I do hope it's my dream, and not the 
Red King's ! I don't like belonging to another person's 
dream," she went on in a rather complaining tone: 
" I've a great mind to go and wake him, and see what 
happens ! " 

At this moment her thoughts were interrupted by a 
loud shouting of " Ahoy ! Ahoy ! Check ! ' and a 
Knight, dressed in crimson armor, came galloping down 
upon her, brandishing a great club. Just as he reached 
her, the horse stopped suddenly : " You're my pris- 
oner ! " the Knight cried, as he tumbled off his horse. 

Startled as she was, Alice was more frightened for 
him than for herself at the moment, and watched him 
with some anxiety as he mounted again. As soon as he 
was comfortably in the saddle, he began once more 

" You're my " but here another voice broke in 

" Ahoy ! Ahoy ! Check ! " and Alice looked round in 
some surprise for the new enemy. 

232 



"IT'S MY OWN INVENTION." 233 

This time it was a White Knight. He drew up at 
Alice's side, and tumbled off his horse just as the Red 
Knight had done : then he got on again, and the two 
Knights sat and looked at each other for some time 
without speaking. Alice looked from one to the other 
in some bewilderment. 

" She's my prisoner, you know ! " the Red Knight 
said at last. 

" Yes, but then I came and rescued her! " the White 
Knight replied. 

" Well, we must fight for her, then," said the Red 
Knight, as he took up his helmet (which hung from the 
saddle, and was something the shape of a horse's head), 
and put it on. 

" You will observe the Rules of Battle, of course ? " 
the White Knight remarked, putting on his helmet too. 

" I always do," said the Red Knight, and they began 
banging away at each other with such fury that Alice 
got behind a tree to be out of the way of the blows). 

" I wonder, now, what the Rules of Battle are/' she 
said to herself, as she watched the fight, timidly peep- 
ing out from her hiding-place : " one Rule seems to be, 
that if one Knight hits the other, he knocks him off his 

horse, and if he misses, he tumbles off himself and 

another Rule seems to be that they hold their clubs with 

their arms, as if they were Punch and Judy What a 

noise they make when they tumble ! Just like a whole 
set of fire-irons falling into the fender ! And how quiet 
the horses are ! They let them get on and off them just 
as if they were tables ! " 

Another Rule of Battle, that Alice had not noticed, 
seemed to be that they always fell on their heads, and 
the battle ended with their both falling off in this way, 
side by side : when they got up again, they shook hands, 
and then the Red Knight mounted and galloped off. 



234 



THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 



" It was a glorious 



victory, wasn't it ? "' said the 
White Knight, as he came up panting. 

" I don't know," Alice said doubtfully. " I don't 
want to be anybody's prisoner. I want to be a Queen." 

" So you will, when you've crossed the next brook," 
said the White Knight. " I'll see you safe to the end 

of the wood and then I must go back, you know. 

That's the end of my move." 




" Thank you very much," said Alice. " May I help 
you off with your helmet ? " It was evidently more than 
he could manage by himself ; however she managed to 
shake him out of it at last. 

" Now one can breathe more easily," said the Knight, 
putting back his shaggy hair with both hands, and 
turning his gentle face and large mild eyes to Alice. 
She thought she had never seen such a strange-looking 
soldier in all her life. 



"IT'S MY OWN INVENTION." 235 

He was dressed in tin armor, which seemed to fit 
him very badly, and he had a queer-shaped little deal 
box fastened across his shoulders, upside-down, and 
with the lid hanging open. Alice looked at it with great 
curiosity. 

" I se'e you're admiring my little box," the Knight 

said in a friendly tone. " It's my own invention to 

keep clothes and sandwiches in. You see I carry it 
upside-down, so that the rain can't get in." 

" But the things can get out," Alice gently remarked. 
" Do you not know the lid's open ? " 

" I didn't know it," the Knight said, a shade of vexa- 
tion passing over his face. " Then all the things must 
have fallen out ! And the box is no use without them." 
He unfastened it as he spoke, and was just going to 
throw it into the bushes, when a sudden thought seemed 
to strike him, and he hung it carefully on a tree. " Can 
you guess why I did that \ " he said to Alice. 

Alice shook her head. 

" In hopes some bees may make a nest in it then 

I should get the honey." 

" But you've got a beehive or something like one 

fastened to the saddle," said Alice. 

" Yes, it's a very good beehive," the Knight said in 
a discontented tone, " one of the best kind. But not a 
single bee has come near it yet. And the other thing 
is a mouse-trap. I suppose the mice keep the bees out 
or the bees keep the mice out, I don't know which." 

" I was wondering what the mouse-trap was for," said 
Alice. " It isn't very likely there would be any mice 
on the horse's back." 

" Not very likely, perhaps," said the Knight ; " but 
if they do come, I don't choose to have them running all 
about. 

" You see," he went on after a pause, " it's as well 



236 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

to be provided for everything. That's the reason the 
horse has all those anklets round his feet." 

" But what are they for ? " Alice asked in a tone of 
great curiosity. 

" To guard against the bites of sharks," the Knight 
replied. " It's an invention of my own. And now help 

me on. I'll go with you to the end of the wood 

What's that dish for ? " 

" It's meant for plum-cake," said Alice. 

" We'd better take it with us," the Knight said. 
" It'll come in handy if we find any plum-cake. Help 
me to get it into this bag." 

This took a long time to manage, though Alice held 
the bag open very carefully, because the Knight was so 
very awkward in putting in the dish : the first two or 
three times that he tried he fell in himself instead. 
" It's rather a tight fit, you see," he said, as they got it 
in at last : " there are so many candlesticks in the bag." 
And he hung it to the saddle, which was already loaded 
with bunches of carrots, and fire-irons, and many other 
things. 

" I hope you've got your hair well fastened on ? ' : 
he continued, as they set off. 

" Only in the usual way," Alice said, smiling. 

" That's hardly enough," he said, anxiously. " You 
see the wind is so very strong here. It's as strong as 
soup." 

" Have you invented a plan for keeping the hair 
from being blown off ? " Alice inquired. 

" Not yet," said the Knight. " But I've got a plan 
for keeping it from falling off." 

" I should like to hear it, very much." 

" First you take an upright stick," said the Knight, 
" Then you make your hair creep up it, like a fruit-tree. 
Now the reason hair falls off is because it hangs down 



" IT'S MY OWN INVENTION." 



237 



— things never fall upwards, you know. It's a plan of 

my own invention. You may try it if you like." 

It didn't sound a comfortable plan, Alice thought, and 
for a few minutes she walked on in silence, puzzling 
over the idea, and every now and then stopping to help 
the poor Knight, who certainly was not a good rider. 




Whenever the horse stopped (which it did very 
often), he fell off in front; and whenever it went on 
again (which it generally did rather suddenly), he fell 
off behind. Otherwise he kept on pretty well, except 
that he had a habit of now and then falling off sideways; 
and as he generally did this on the side on which Alic6 
was walking, she soon found that it was the best plan 
not to walk quite close to the horse. 



238 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

" Pm afraid you've not had much practice in riding," 
she ventured to say, as she was helping him up from his 
fifth tumble. 

The Knight looked very much surprised, and a little 
offended at the remark. " "What makes vou sav that ? " 
he asked, as he scrambled back into the saddle, keeping 
hold of Alice's hair with one hand, to save himself from 
falling over on the other side. 

" Because people don't fall off quite so often, when 
they've had much practice." 

" I've had plenty of practice," the Knight said very 
gravely : " plenty of practice ! " 

Alice could think of nothing better to sav than " In- 
deed ? " but she said it as heartily as she could. They 
went on a little way in silence after this, the Knight 
with his eyes shut, muttering to himself, and Alice 
watching anxiously for the next tumble. 

■" The great art of riding," the Knight suddenly be- 
gan in a loud voice, waving his right arm as he spoke, 

" is to keep " Here the sentence ended as suddenly 

as it had begun, as the Knight fell heavily on the top of 
his head exactly in the path where Alice was walking. 
She was quite frightened this time, and said in an anx- 
ious tone, as she picked him up, " I hope no bones are 
broken ? " 

" Xone to speak of," the Knight said, as if he didn't 
mind breaking two or three of them. " The great art 

of riding, as I was saying, is to keep your balance 

properly. Like this, you know " 

He let go the bridle, and stretched out both his arms 
to show Alice what he meant, and this time he fell 
flat on his back, right under the horse's feet. 

" Plenty of practice ! " he went on repeating, all the 
time that Alice was getting him on his feet again. 
" Plenty of practice ! " 



"IT'S MY OWN INVENTION." 239 

" It's too ridiculous ! " cried Alice, losing all her 
patience this time. " You ought to have a wooden 
horse on wheels, that you ought ! " 

" Does that kind go smoothly? " the Knight asked in 
a tone of great interest, clasping his arms round the 
horse's neck as he spoke, just in time to save himself 
from tumbling off again. 

" Much more smoothly than a live horse," Alice said, 
with a little scream of laughter, in spite of all she could 
do to prevent it. 

" I'll get one," the Knight said thoughtfully, to him- 
self. " One or two several." 

There was a short silence after this, and then the 
Knight went on again. " I'm a great hand at invent- 
ing things. Now, I dare say you noticed, the last time 
you picked me up, that I was looking rather thought- 
ful ? " 

" You were a little grave," said Alice. 

" Well, just then I was inventing a new way of get- 
ting over a gate would you like to hear it ? " 

" Very much, indeed," Alice said, politely. 

" I'll tell you how I came to think of it," said the 
Knight. " You see, I said to myself, ' The only diffi- 
culty is with the feet: the head is high enough already.' 

Now, first I put my head on the top of the gate then 

the head's high enough then I stand on my head 

then the feet are high enough, you see then I'm 

over, you see." 

" Yes, I suppose you'd be over when that was done," 
Alice said, thoughtfully : " but don't you think it would 
be rather hard % " 

"I haven't tried it yet," the Knight said, gravely r 

" so I can't tell for certain but I'm afraid it would 

be a little hard." 

He looked so vexed at the idea, that Alice changed; 



2-tO THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

the subject hastily. " What a curious helmet you've 
got ! " she said, cheerfully. " Is that your invention 
too ? " 

The Knight looked down proudly at his helmet, which 
hung from the saddle. " Yes," he said, " but I've in- 
vented a better one than that like a sugar-loaf. 

When I used to wear it, if I fell off my horse, it always 
touched the ground directly. So I had a very little way 

to fall, you see But there icas the danger of falling 

into it, to be sure. That happened to me once and 

the worst of it was, before I could get out again, the 
other White Knight came and put it on. He thought it 
was his own helmet." 

The Knight looked so solemn about it that Alice did 
not dare to laugh. " I'm afraid you must have hurt 
him," she said, in a trembling voice, " being on the 
top of his head." 

" I had to kick him, of course," the Knight said, very 

seriously. " And then he took the helmet off again 

but it took hours and hours to get me out. I was as fast 
as as lightning, you know." 

" But that's a different kind of fastness," Alice ob- 
jected. 

The Knight shook his head. " It was all kinds of 
fastness with me, I can assure you ! " he said. He 
raised his hands in some excitement as he said this, 
and instantly rolled out of the saddle, and fell headlong 
into a deep ditch. 

Alice ran to the side of the ditch to look for him. She 
was rather startled by the fall, as for some time he had 
kept on very well, and she was afraid that he really was 
hurt this time. However, though she could see nothing 
but the soles of his feet, she was much relieved to hear 
that he was talking on in his usual tone. "All kinds of 
fastness," he repeated: "but it was careless of him to 



"IT'S MY OWN INVENTION." 



241 



put another man's helmet on with the man in it, 

too." 

" How can you go on talking so quietly, head down- 
wards ? " Alice asked, as she dragged him out by the 
feet, and laid him in a heap on the bank. 

The Knight looked surprised at the question. " What 
does it matter where my body happens to be ? " he said. 
" My mind goes on working all the same. In fact, the 




more head downwards I am, the more I keep inventing 
new things. 

: ' Now the cleverest thing of the sort that I ever 
did," he went on after a pause, " was inventing a new 
pudding during the meat course." 

" In time to have it cooked for the next course ? " 
said Alice. " Well, that was quick work, cer- 
tainly ! " 

" Well, not the next course," the Knight said, in a 
slow, thoughtful tone : " no, certainly not the next 
course." 
16 



242 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

" Then it would have to be the next day. I suppose 
you wouldn't have two pudding-courses in one din- 
ner ? " 

" Well, not the next day," the Knight repeated as be- 
fore: "not the next day. In fact," he went on, hold- 
ing his head down, and his voice getting lower and 
lower, " I don't believe that pudding ever was cooked! 
In fact, I don't believe that pudding ever will be cooked ! 
And yet it was a very clever pudding to invent." 

" What did you mean it to be made of ? " Alice asked, 
hoping to cheer him up, for the poor Knight seemed 
quite low-spirited about it. 

" It began with blotting-paper," the Knight answered 
with a groan. 

" That wouldn't be very nice, I'm afraid " 

" Not very nice alone," he interrupted, quite eagerly : 
u but you've no idea what a difference it makes, mixing 
it with other things such as gunpowder and sealing- 
wax. And here I must leave you." They had just 
come to the end of the wood. 

Alice could only look puzzled : she was thinking of the 
pudding. 



*&• 



a 



You are sad," the Knight said in an anxious tone: 
tl let me sing you a song to comfort you." 

" Is it very long? " Alice asked, for she had heard a 
good deal of poetry that day. 

" It's long," said the Knight, " but it's very, very 

beautiful. Everybody that hears me sing it either 

it brings the tears into their eyes, or else — : — " 

" Or else what ? " said Alice, for the Knight had 
made a sudden pause. 

" Or else it doesn't, you know. The name of the 
song is called ' Haddock's Eyes.'' " 

" Oh, that's the name of the song, is it ? " Alice said, 
trying to feel interested. 



" IT'S MY OWN INVENTION." 243 

" No, you don't understand," the Knight said, look- 
ing a little vexed. " That's what the name is called. 
The name really is ' The Aged Aged Man. 7 " 

" Then I ought to have said ' That's what the song 
is called ' ? " Alice corrected herself. 

" No, you oughtn't : that's quite another thing ? The 
song is called ' Ways And Means ' : but that's only 
what it's called, vou know ! " 

" Well, what is the song, then ? " said Alice, who 
was by this time completely bewildered. 

" I was coming to that," the Knight said. " The 
song really is ' A-sitting On A Gate ' : and the tune's 
my own invention." 

So saying, he stopped his horse and let the reins 
fall on its neck: then, slowly beating time with one 
hand, and with a faint smile lighting up his gentle 
foolish face, as if he enjoyed the music of his song, he 
began. 

Of all the strange things that Alice saw in her jour- 
ney Through The Looking-Glass, this was the one that 
she always remembered most clearly. Years after- 
ward she could bring the whole scene back again, as if 

it had been only yesterday the mild blue eyes and 

kindly smile of the Knight the setting sun gleam- 
ing through his hair, and shining on his armor in a 

blaze of light that quite dazzled her the horse 

quietly moving about, with the reins hanging loose on 

his neck, cropping the grass at her feet and the 

black shadows of the forest behind all this she took 

in like a picture, as, with one hand shading her eyes, 
she leaned against a tree, watching the strange pair, 
and listening, in a half dream, to the melancholy music 
of the song. 

" But the tune isn't his own invention," she said to 
herself : " it's ' I give thee all, I can no more 7 " She 



944 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

stood and listened very attentively, but no tears eame 
into her eves. 



' I'll tell thee every tiling I can 
There's little to relate. 
I saw an aged aged man, 
A-sitting on a gate. 
1 Who are you, aged man? ' I said. 
'And how is it you live ? ' 
And his answer trickled through my head 
Like water through a sieve. 

" He said ' I look for butterflies 
That sleep among the wheat: 
I make them into mutton pies 
And sell them in the street. 
I sell them unto men/ he said, 

' Who sail on stormy seas; 
And that's the way I get my bread — 
A trifle, if you please/ 

" But I teas tli inking of a plan 

To dye one's ivhiskers green, 
And always use so large a fan 

That they could not be seen. 
So, having no reply to give 

To what the old man said, 
I cried ' Come, tell me how you live! 9 

And thumped him on the head. 

" His accents mild took up the tale: 
He said ' I go my ways, 
T And when I find a mountain-rill, 
I set it in a blaze; 



" IT'S MY OWN INVENTION." 

And thence they make a stuff they call 

Rowlands' Macassar Oil — 
Yet twopence-halfpenny is all 

They give me for my toil.' 

" But I was thinking of a way 
To feed oneself on hatter, 
And so go on from day to day 

Getting a little fatter. 
I shook him well from side to side, 
Until his face was blue: 
i Come, tell me how you live,' I cried, 
' And what it is you do! ' 



245 




" He said ' I hunt for haddocks' eyes 

Among the heather bright, 
And work them into waistcoat-buttons 

In the silent night. 
And these I do not sell for gold 

Or coin of silvery shine, 
'But for a copper halfpenny, 

And that will purchase nine. 






246 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

" ' I sometimes dig for buttered rolls, 
Or set limed twigs for crabs; 
I sometimes search the grassy knolls 

For wheels of Hansom-cabs. 
And that's the way ' (he gave a wink) 

'By which I get my wealth — 
And very gladly will I drink 
Your Honor's noble health,' 

" I heard him then, for I had just 

Completed my design 
To keep the Menai bridge from rust 

By boiling it in wine. 
I thanked him much for telling me 

The. way he got his ivealth, 
But chiefly for his wish that he 

Might drink my noble health. 

" And now, if e'er by chance I put 

My fingers into glue, 
Or madly squeeze a right-hand foot 

Into a left-hand shoe, 
Or if I drop upon my toe 

A very heavy weight, 
I weep, for it reminds me so 
Of that old man I used to know — 
Whose look was mild, ivhose speech was slow 
Whose hair was whiter than the snow, 
Whose face was very like a crow, 
With eyes, like cinders, all aglow, 
Who seemed distracted with his woe, 
Who rocked his body to and fro, 
And muttered mumblingly and low, 
As if his mouth were full of dough, 



"IT'S MY OWN INVENTION." 247 

yVho snorted like a buffalo 



That summer evening, long ago, 
A-sitting on a gate." 

As the Knight sang the last words of the ballad, he 
gathered up the reins, and turned his horse's head along 
the road by which they had come. " You've only a few 
yards to go," he said, " down the hill and over that little 

brook, and then you'll be a Queen But you'll stay 

and see rne off first ? " he added as Alice turned with an 
eager look in the direction to which he pointed. " I 
shan't be long. You'll wait and wave your handker- 
chief when I get to that turn in the road \ I think it'll 
encourage me, you see." 

" Of course I'll wait," said Alice : " and thank you 

very much for coming so far and for the song 

I liked it very much." 

" I hope so," the Knight said doubtfully : " but you 
didn't cry so much as I thought you would." 

So they shook hands, and then the Knight rode slowly 
away into the forest. " It won't take long to see him 
off, I expect," Alice said to herself, as she stood watch- 
ing him. " There he goes ! Eight on his head as usual ! 
However, he gets on pretty easily that comes of hav- 
ing so many things hung round the horse " So she 

went on talking to herself, as she watched the horse walk- 
ing leisurely along the road, and the Knight tumbling 
off, first on one side and then on the other. After the 
fourth or fifth tumble he reached the turn, and then she 
waved her handkerchief to him, and waited till he was 
out of sight. 

" I hope it encouraged him," she said, as she turned 
to run down the hill : " and now for the last brook, and 
to be a Queen ! How grand it sounds ! " A very few 



24:8 



THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 



steps brought her 
to the edge of 
the brook. " The 
Eighth Square at 
last ! ' she cried as 
she bounded across, 
and threw herself 
down to rest on a 
lawn as soft as moss, 
with little flower 
beds dotted about it 
here and there. 

"Oh, how glad I 
am to get here ! 
And what is this 
on my head? ' she 
exclaimed in a tone 
of dismay, as she 
put her hands up to something very heavy, that fitted 
tight all round her head. 

" But how can it have got there without my know- 
ing it? " she said to herself, as she lifted it off, and 
set it on her lap to make out what it could possibly 
be. 

It was a golden crown. 




CHAPTER IX. 

QUEEN ALICE. 

" Well, this is grand ! " said Alice. " I never ex- 
pected I should be a Queen so soon and I'll tell you 

what it is, your Majesty," she went on in a severe tone 
(she was always rather fond of scolding herself,) " it'll 
never do for you to be lolling about on the grass like 
that ! Queens have to be dignified, you know ! " 

So she got up and walked about rather stiffly just 

at first, as she was afraid that the crown might come 
off: but she comforted herself with the thought that 
there was nobody to see her, " and if I really am a 
Queen," she said as she sat down again, " I shall be 
able to manage it quite well in time." 

Everything was happening so oddly that she didn't 
feel a bit surprised at finding the Red Queen and the 
White Queen sitting close to her, one on each side : she 
would have liked very much to ask them how they came 
there, but she feared it would not be quite civil. How- 
ever, there would be no harm, she thought, in asking if 

the game was over. " Please, would you tell me " 

she began, looking timidly at the Red Queen. 

" Speak when you're spoken to ! " the Queen sharply 
interrupted her. 

" But if everybody obeyed that rule," said Alice, 
who was always ready for a little argument, " and if 
you only spoke when you were spoken to, and the other 
person always waited for you to begin, you see nobody 
would ever say anything, so that " 

" Ridiculous ! " cried the Queen. " Why, don't you 

249 



250 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

see, child " here she broke off with a frown, and, 

after thinking for a minute, suddenly changed the sub- 
ject of the conversation. " What do you mean by ' if 
you really are a Queen ' ? What right have you to call 
yourself so ? You can't be a Queen, you know, till 
you've passed the proper examination. And the sooner 
we begin it, the better." 

" I only said ' if ' ! " poor Alice pleaded in a piteous 
tone. 

The two Queens looked at each other, and the Red 
Queen remarked, with a little shudder, " She says she 
only said < if ' " 

" But she said a great deal more than that ! " the 
White Queen moaned, wringing her hands. " Oh, ever 
so much more than that ! " 

" So you did, you know," the Red Queen said to 

Alice. " Always speak the truth think before you 

speak and write it down afterward." 

" I'm sure I didn't mean " Alice was beginning, 

but the Red Queen interrupted her impatiently. 

" That's just what I complain of! You should have 
meant ! What do you suppose is the use of a child with- 
out any meaning? Even a joke should have some mean- 
ing and a child's more important than a joke, I 

hope. You couldn't deny that, even if you tried with 
both hands." 

" I don't deny things with my hands,''' Alice objected. 

" Nobody said you did," said the Red Queen. " I 
said you couldn't if you tried." 

" She's in that state of mind," said the White Queen, 

" that she wants to deny something only she doesn't 

know what to deny ! " 

" A nasty, vicious temper," the Red Queen remarked ; 
and then there was an uncomfortable silence for a 
minute or two. 



QUEEN ALICE. 251 

The Red Queen broke the silence by saying to the 
White Queen, " I invite you to Alice's dinner-party this 
afternoon." 

The White Queen smiled feebly, and said, " And I 
invite you." 

" I didn't know I was to have a party at all," said 
Alice ; " but if there is to be one, I think I ought to 
invite the guests." 

" We gave you the opportunity of doing it," the Red 
Queen remarked : " but I dare say you've not had many 
lessons in manners yet % " 

" Manners are not taught in lessons," said Alice. 
" Lessons teach you to do sums, and things of that sort." 

" Can you do Addition ? " the White Queen asked. 
" What's one and one and one and one and one and one 
and one and one and one and one ? " 

I don't know," said Alice. " I lost count." 
She can't do Addition," the Red Queen interrupted. 
a Can you do Subtraction ? Take nine from eight." 

" Nine from eight I can't, you know," Alice replied, 
very readily : " but " 

" She can't do Subtraction," said the White Queen. 
" Can you do Division ? Divide a loaf by a knife — : — 
what's the answer to that ? " 

" I suppose " Alice was beginning, but the Red 

Queen answered for her. " Bread-and-butter, of course. 
Try another Subtraction sum. Take a bone from a dog: 
what remains ? " 

Alice considered. " The bone wouldn't remain, of 

course, if I took it and the dog wouldn't remain ; 

it would come to bite me and I'm sure I shouldn't 

remain ! " 

" Then you think nothing would remain ? " said the 
Red Queen. 

" I think that's the answer." 



a 

iC 



252 



THROUGH THE LCOKING-GLASS. 



" Wrong, as usual," said the Red Queen, " the dog's 
temper would remain." 

" But I don't see how " 

" Why, look here ! " the Red Queen cried. " The 
dog would lose its temper, wouldn't it? " 

" Perhaps it would," Alice replied, cautiously. 
1 Then if the dog wont away, its temper would re- 
main ! " the Queen exclaimed, triumphantly. 

Alice said, as gravely as she could, " They might go 
different ways." But she couldn't help thinking to her- 
self, " What dreadful nonsense we are talking! ' : 

"She can't do sums a bit!" the Queens said to- 
gether, with great emphasis. 







"Can you do sums?" Alice said, turning suddenly 
on the White Queen, for she didn't like being found 
fault with so much. 

The Queen gasped and shut her eyes. " I can do 

Addition," she said, " if you give me time but I 

can't do Subtraction under any circumstances ! ' 

" Of course you know your A B C ? " said the Red 
Queen. 

" To be sure I do," said Alice. 



QUEEN ALICE. 253 

" So do I," the White Queen whispered : " we'll often 
say it over together, dear. And I'll tell you a secret 
1 can read words of one letter ! Isn't that grand ? 



However, don't be discouraged. You'll come to it in 
time." 

Here the Red Queen began again. " Can you answer 
useful questions ? " she said. " How is bread made ? '' 

"I know that!" Alice cried, eagerly. "You take 
some flour " 

" Where do you pick the flower ? " the White Queen 
asked. " In a garden, or in the hedges ? " 

" Well, it isn't picked at all," Alice explained : " it's 
ground- — -" 



a 



(C 



How many acres of ground ? ' ; said the White 
Queen. " You mustn't leave out so many things." 

" Fan her head ! " the Red Queen anxiously inter- 
rupted. " She'll be feverish after so much thinking." 
So they set to work and fanned her with bunches of 
leaves, till she had to beg them to leave off, it blew her 
hair about so. 

She's all right again now," said the Red Queen. 
Do you know Languages ? What's the French for fid- 
dle-de-dee ? " 

" Fiddle-de-dee's not English," Alice replied gravely. 

" Who ever said it was ? " said the Red Queen. 

Alice thought she saw a way out of the difficulty this 
time. " If you'll tell me what language ' fiddle-de-dee ' 
is, I'll tell you the French for it ! " she exclaimed tri- 
umphantly. 

But the Red Queen drew herself up rather stiffly, 
and said " Queens never make bargains." 

" I wish Queens never asked questions," Alice thought 
to herself. 

" Don't let us quarrel," the White Queen said in an 
anxious tone. " What is the cause of lightning ? " 



254 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 



a 



The cause of lightning," Alice said very decidedly, 
for she felt quite certain about this, " is the thunder- 



no, no ! " she hastily corrected herself. " I meant the 
other way." 

"It's too late to correct it," said the Red Queen: 
" when you've once said a thing, that fixes it, and you 
must take the consequences." 

" Which reminds me " the White Queen said, 

looking down and nervously clasping and unclasping 
her hands, " we had such a thunderstorm last Tuesday 
1 mean one of the last sets of Tuesdays, you know." 

Alice was puzzled. " In our country," she remarked, 
" there's only one day at a time." 

The Red Queen said " That's a poor thin way of 
doing things. JSTow here, we mostly have days and 
nights two or three at a time, and sometimes in the win- 
ter we take as many as five nights together for 

warmth, you know." 

"Are five nights warmer than one night, then % ' : 
Alice ventured to ask. 

" Five times as warm, of course." 

" But they should be five times as cold, by the same 
rule " 

" Just so ! " cried the Red Queen. " Five times as 

warm, and five times as cold just as I'm five times 

as rich as you are, and five times as clever! ' 

Alice sighed and gave it up. " It's exactly like a 
riddle with no answer ! " she thought. 

" Humpty Dumpty saw it too," the White Queen 
went on in a low voice, more as if she were talking 
to herself. " He came to the door with a corkscrew in 
his hand " 

" What did he want ? " said the Red Queen. 

" He said he would come in," the White Queen went 
on, " because he was looking for a hippopotamus. Now, 



QUEEN ALICE. 255 

as it happened, there wasn't such a thing in the house, 
that morning." 

" Is there generally ? " Alice asked in an astonished 
tone. 

" Well, only on Thursdays," said the Queen. 

" I know what he came for," said Alice, " he wanted 
to punish the fish, because " 

Here the White Queen began again. " It was such 
a thunderstorm, you can't think! " (" She never could, 
you know," said the Red Queen.) "And part of the 

roof came off, and ever so much thunder got in and 

it went rolling round the room in great lumps and 

knocking over the tables and things till I was so 

frightened, I couldn't remember my own name ! ' 

Alice thought to herself, " I never should try to re- 
member my name in the middle of an accident. Where 
would be the use of it? " but she did not say this aloud, 
for fear of hurting the poor Queen's feelings. 

" Your Majesty must excuse her," the Red Queen 
said to Alice, taking one of the White Queen's hands in 
her own, and gently stroking it: " she means well, but 
she can't help saying foolish things, as a general 
rule." 

The White Queen looked timidly at Alice, who felt 
she ought to say something kind, but really couldn't 
think of anything at the moment. 

" She never was really well brought up," the Red 
Queen went on : " but it's amazing how good-tempered 
she is ! Pat her on the head, and see how pleased she'll 
be ! ' : But this was more than Alice had courage to do. 

" A little kindness and putting her hair in papers 

would do wonders with her " 

The White Queen gave a deep sigh, and laid her 
head on Alice's shoulder. " I am so sleepy ! " she 
moaned. 



256 



THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 



u 



She's tired, poor thing ! " said the Red Queen. 

" Smooth her hair lend her your nightcap and 

sing her a soothing lullaby." 

" I haven't got a nightcap with me," said Alice, as 
she tried to obey the first direction : " and I don't know 
any soothing lullabies.'" 

" I must do it myself, then," said the Red Queen, 
and she began : 

" Hvsh-a-by lady, in Alice's lap! 

Till the feast's ready, we've time for a nap: 

When the feast's over, we'll go to the ball — 

Bed Queen, and White Queen, and Alice, and all! 




" And now you know the words," she added as she 
put her head down on Alice's other shoulder, " just 
sing it through to me. I'm getting sleepy too." In 
another moment both Queens were fast asleep, and snor- 
ing loud. 

" What am I to do ? " exclaimed Alice, looking about 
in great perplexity, as first one round head, and then 
the other, rolled down from her shoulder, and lay like 
a heavy lump in her lap. " I don't think it ever hap- 
pened before, that any one had to take care of two 
Queens asleep at once ! No, not in all the History of 



QUEEN ALICE. 257 

England it couldn't, you know, because there never 

"was more than one Queen at a time. Do wake up, you 
heavy things ! " she went on in an impatient tone ; but 
there was no answer but a gentle snoring. 

The snoring got more distinct every minute, and 
sounded more like a tune : at last she could even make 
out words, and she listened so eagerly that, when the 
two great heads suddenly vanished from her lap, she 
hardly missed them. 

She was standing before an arched doorway over 
which were the words QUEEN ALICE in large let- 
ters, and on each side of the arch there was a bell- 
handle ; one was marked " Visitors' Bell," and the 
other " Servants' Bell." 

" I'll wait till the song's over," thought Alice, " and 

then I'll ring the the which bell must I ring? " 

she went on, very much puzzled by the names. " I'm 
not a visitor, and I'm not a servant. There ought to be 
one marked ' Queen,' you know " 

Just then the door opened a little way, and a creature 
with a long beak put its head Out for a moment and 
said " No admittance till the week after next ! " and 
shut the door again with a bang. 

Alice knocked and rang in vain for a long time, but 
at last a very old Frog, who was sitting under a tree, 
got up and hobbled slowly toward her: he was dressed 
in bright yellow, and had enormous boots on. 

" What is it, now ? " the Frog said in a deep, hoarse 
whisper. 

Alice turned round, ready to find fault with anybody. 
" Where's the servant whose business it is to answer 
the door ? " she began angrily. 

" Which door ? " said the Frog. 

Alice almost stamped with irritation at the slow 
drawl in which he spoke. " This door, of course! " 
17 < 



25$ 



THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 



The Frog looked at the door with his large dull 
eyes for a minute : then he went nearer and rubbed it 
with his thumb, as if he were trying whether the 
paint would come off ; then he looked at Alice. 

" To answer the door ? " he said. " What's it been 
asking of ? " He was so hoarse that Alice could scarce- 
ly hear him. 




u I don't know what you mean," she said. 

" I speaks English, doesn't I ? " the Frog went on. 
<l Or are you deaf ? What did it ask you ? " 

" Nothing ! ' Alice said impatiently. " I've been 
knocking at it ! " 



QUEEN ALICE. 259 

" Shouldn't do that shouldn't do that " the 

Frog muttered. " Wexes it, you know." Then he 
went up and gave the door a kick with one of his 
great feet. " You let it alone," he panted out, as he 
hobbled back to his tree, " and it'll let you alone, you 
know." 

At this moment the door was flung open, and a shrill 
voice was heard singing: 

" To the Looking-Glass world it was Alice that said, 
' I've a sceptre in hand, I've a crown on my head; 
Let the Looking-Glass creatures, whatever they be > 
Come and dine with the Bed Queen, the White 
Queen, and me ! ' " 

And hundreds of voices joined in the chorus: 

" Then fill up the glasses as quick as you can, 
And sprinkle the table with buttons and bran: 
Put cats in the coffee, and mice in the tea — 
And welcome Queen Alice with thirty-times-three ! ' w 

Then followed a confused noise of cheering, and 
Alice thought to herself " Thirty times three makes 
ninety. I wonder if any one's counting ? " in a minute 
there was silence again, and the same shrill voice sang 
another verse : 



a i 



Looking-Glass creatures,' quoth Alice, ' draw 
near! 
'Tis an honor to see me, a favor to hear: 
'Tis a privilege high to have dinner and tea 
Along with the Red Queen, the White Queen, and 
me!'" 



260 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

Then came the chorus again : — 

" Then fill up the glasses with treacle and ink 
Or anything else that is pleasant to drink; 
Mix sand with the cider, and wool with the wine — ■ 
And welcome Queen Alice with ninety-times-nine ! " 



a 



" Ninety times nine!" Alice repeated in despair. 

Oh that'll never be done! I'd better go in at 

once " and in she went, and there was a dead silence 

the moment she appeared. 

Alice glanced nervously along the table, as she walked 
up the large hall, and noticed that there were about fifty 
guests, of all kinds : some were animals, some birds, 
and there were even a few flowers among them. 
" I'm glad they've come without waiting to be asked," 
she thought : " I should never have known who were 
the right people to invite! " 

There were three chairs at the head of the table ; 
the Tied and White Queens had already taken two of 
them, but the middle one was empty. Alice sat down 
in it, rather uncomfortable at the silence, and longing 
for some one to speak. 

At last the Red Queen began. " You've missed the 
soup and fish," she said. " Put on the joint! ' And 
the waiters set a leg of mutton before Alice, who looked 
at it rather anxiously, as she had never had to carve 
a joint before. 

" You look a little shy ; let me introduce you to that 
leg of mutton," said the Red Queen. " Alice Mut- 
ton ; Mutton Alice." The leg of mutton got up 

in the dish and made a little bow to Alice; and Alice 
returned the bow, not knowing whether to be frightened 
or amused. 

" May I give you a slice ? " she said, taking up the 



QUEEN ALICE. 



261 




knife and fork, and 
looking from one 
Queen to the other. 

' ' Certainly not, ' ' 
the Red Queen said, 
very decidedly: " it 
isn't etiquette to cut 
any one you've been 
introduced to. Re- 
move the joint ! ' ' 
And the waiters 
carried it off, and 
brought a large 
plum -pudding in its 
place. 

"I won't be introduced to the pudding, please," 
Alice said rather hastily, " or we shall get no dinner 
at all. May I give you some? " 

But the Red Queen looked sulky, and growled " Pud- 
ding Alice ; Alice- — • — Pudding. Remove the pud- 
ding ! " and the waiters took it away so quickly that 
Alice couldn't return its bow. 

However, she didn't see why the Red Queen should 
be the only one to give orders, so, as an experiment, she 
called out " Waiter ! Bring back the pudding ! " and 
there it was again in a moment, like a conjuring-trick. 
It was so large that she couldn't help feeling a little 
shy with it, as she had been with the mutton ; however, 
she conquered her shyness by a great effort, and cut a 
slice and handed it to the Red Queen. 

" What impertinence ! " said the Pudding. " I won- 
der how vou'd like it, if I were to cut a slice out of 
you, you creature ! " 



262 THROUGH TEE LOOKING-GLASS. 

It spoke in a thick, suety sort of voice, and Alice 
hadn't a word to say in reply: she could only sit and 
look at it and gasp. 

" Make a remark," said the Red Queen : " it's ridic- 
ulous to leave all the conversation to the pudding! " 

" Do you know, I've had such a quantity of poetry 
repented to me to-day," Alice began, a little frightened 
at finding that, the moment she opened her lips, there 
was dead silence, and all eyes were fixed upon her; 

" and it's a very curious thing, I think every poem 

was tbout fishes in some way. Do you know why 
they're so fond of fishes, all about here ? " 

She spoke to the Red Queen, whose answer was a 
little wide of the mark. " As to fishes," she said, very 
slowly and solemnly, putting her mouth close to Alice's 

ear, " her White Majesty knows a lovely riddle all 

in poetry all about fishes. Shall she repeat it ? ' : 

" Her Red Majesty's very kind to mention it," the 
White Queen murmured into Alice's other ear, in a 
voice like the cooing of a pigeon. " It would be such 
a treat! May I?" 

" Please do," Alice said very politely. 

The White Queen laughed with delight, and stroked 
Alice's cheek. Then she began : 

" ' First, the fish must be caught. 
That is easy: a baby, I think, could have caught H, 

' Next, the fish must be bought.' 
That is easy: a penny, I think, would have bought it. 

" l Now cook me the fish ! ' 
That is easy, and will not take more than a minute. 

' Let it lie in a dish! ' 
That is easy, because it already is in it. 



QUEEN ALICE. 263 

" ' Bring it here ! Let me sup ! ' 
It is easy to set such a dish on the table. 

' Take the dish-cover up ! ' 
Ah, that is so hard that I fear Fm unable. 



" For it holds it like glue 

Holds the lid to the dish, while it lies in the middle: 

Which is easiest to do, 
Undish-cover the fish, or dishcover the riddle ? " 



" Take a minute to think about it, and then guess/' 
said the Red Queen. " Meanwhile, we'll drink your 

health Qneen Alice's health ! " she screamed at the 

top of her voice, and all guests began drinking it 
directly, and very queerly they managed it : some of 
them put their glasses upon their heads like extin- 
guishers, and drank all that trickled down their faces 

others upset the decanters, and drank the wine as 

it ran off the edges of the table and three of them 

(who looked like kangaroos) scrambled into the dish 
of roast mutton, and began eagerly lapping up the 
gravy, " just like pigs in a trough ! " thought Alice. 

" You ought to return thanks in a neat speech," the 
Red Queen said, frowning at Alice as she spoke. 

" We must support you, you know," the White Queen 
whispered, as Alice got up to do it, very obediently, but 
a little frightened. 

" Thank you very much," she whispered in reply, 
" but I can do quite well without." 

" That wouldn't be at all the thing," the Red Queen 
said very decidedly : so Alice tried to submit to it with a 
good grace. 

(" And they did push so ! " she said afterward, when 
she was telling her sister the history of the feast. " You 



204 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 

would have thought they wanted to squeeze me 

flat!") 

In fact it was rather difficult for her to keep in her 
place while she made her speech : the two Queens pushed 
her so, one on each side, that they nearly lifted her up 
into the air: "I rise to return thanks " Alice be- 
gan: and she really did rise as she spoke, several inches; 
but she got hold of the edge of the table, and managed 
to pull herself down again. 

" Take care of yourself ! " screamed the White Queen, 
seizing Alice's hair with both her hands. " Something's 
going to happen ! " 

And then (as Alice afterward described it) all sorts 
of thing? happened in a moment. The candles all grew 
up to the ceiling, looking something like a bed of rushes 
with fireworks at the top. As to the bottles, they each 
took a pair of plates, which they hastily fitted on as 
wings, and so, with forks for less, went fluttering about 
in all directions: " and very like birds they look," Alice 
thought to herself, as well as she could in the dreadful 
confusion that was beginning. 

At this moment she heard a hoarse laugh at her 
side, and turned to see what was the matter with the 
"White Queen ; but. instead of the Queen, there was the 
leg of mutton sitting in the chair. " Here I am ! ' 
cried a voice from the soup-tureen, and Alice turned 
again, just in time to see the Queen's broad good- 
natured face grinning at her for a moment over the 
edge of the tureen, before she disappeared into the 
soup. 

There was not a moment to be lost. Already sev- 
eral of the guests were lying down in the dishes, and the 
soup-ladle was walking up the table toward Alice's 
chair, and beckoning to her impatiently to get out of its 
way. 



QUEEN ALICE. 



265 



"I can't stand this 
any longer ! ' ' she cried 
as she jumped up and 
seized the tablecloth 
with both hands : one 
good pull, and plates 
dishes, guests, and 
candles came crashing 
down together in a 
heap on the floor. 




" And as for you" she went on, turning fiercely upon 
the Red Queen, whom she considered as the, cause of 

all the mischief but the Queen was no longer at her 

side — she had suddenly dwindled down to the size of a 
little doll, and was now on the table, merrily running 
round and round after her own shawl, which was 
trailing behind her. 



266 



THROUGH THE LOOKINU-GLASS. 



At any other time, Alice would have felt surprised 
at this, but she was far too much excited to be sur- 
prised at anything now. " As for you," she repeated, 
catching hold of the little creature in the very act of 
jumping over a bottle which had just lighted upon thft 
table, " I'll shake you into a kitten, that I will ! " 





267 



CHAPTER X. 



SHAKING. 



She took her off the table as she spoke, and shook 
her backwards and forwards with all her might. 

The Red Queen made no resistance whatever; only 
her face grew very small, and her eyes got large and 
green : and still, as Alice went on shaking her, she 

kept on growing shorter and fatter and softer 

and rounder and 



268 



CHAPTEE XI. 



WAKING. 



-and it really was a kitten, after all. 



269 




270 



CHAPTER XII. 

WHICH DREAMED IT ? 

" Your Red Majesty shouldn't purr so loud," Alice 
said, rubbing her eyes, and addressing the kitten, re- 
spectfully, yet with some severity. " You woke me 
out of oh ! such a nice dream ! And you've been along 

with me, Kitty all through the Looking-Glass 

world. Did you know it, clear ? " 

It is a very inconvenient habit of kittens (Alice had 
once made the remark) that, whatever you say to them, 
they always purr. " If they would only purr for ' yes,' 
and mew for ' no,' or any rule of that sort," she had 
said, " so that one could keep up a conversation ! But 
how can you talk with a person if they always say the 
same thing ? " 

On this occasion the kitten only purred : and it was 
impossible to guess whether it meant " yes " or " no." 

So Alice hunted anions; the chessmen on the table till 
she had found the Red Queen : then she went down on 
her knees on the hearth-rug, and put the kitten and the 
Queen to look at each other. " Now, Kitty ! " she- 
cried, clapping her hands triumphantly. " Confess that 
was what you turned into ! " 

(" But it wouldn't look at it," she said, when she 
was explaining the thing afterward to her sister : " it 
turned away its head, and pretended not to see it: but 
it looked a little ashamed of itself, so I think it must 
have been the Red Queen.") 

" Sit up a little more stiffly, dear ! " Alice cried with 
a merry laugh. " And courtesy while you're thinking 

271 



272 



THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS. 



what to what to purr. It saves time, remember! " 

And she caught it up and gave it one little kiss, " just 
in honor of its having been a Red Queen." 

" Snowdrop, my pet ! ,: she went on, looking over 
her shoulder at the White Kitten, which was still pa- 
tiently undergoing its toilet, " when will Dinah have 
finished with your White Majesty, I wonder ? That 
must be the reason you were so untidy in my dream. 




Dinah ! Do you know that you're scrubbing a 

White Queen ? Really, it's most disrespectful of you ! 
" And what did Dinah turn to, I wonder ? " she prat- 
tled on, as she settled comfortably down, w 7 ith one 
elbow on the rug, and her chin in her hand, to watch 
the kittens. " Tell me, Dinah, did you turn to Humpty 

Dumpty ? I think you did however, you'd better 

not mention it to your friends just yet, for I'm not sure. 



WHICH DREAMED IT? 273 

" By the way, Kitty, if you'd been really with me 
in my dream, there was one thing you would have 

enjoyed 1 had such a quantity of poetry said to me, 

all about fishes ! To-morrow morning you shall have 
a real treat. All the time you're eating your breakfast, 
I'll repeat ' The Walrus and the Carpenter ' to you ; 
and then you can make believe it's oysters, dear ! 

" Now, Kitty, let's consider who it was that dreamed 
it all. This is a serious question, my dear, and you 

should not go on licking your paw like that as if 

Dinah hadn't washed you this morning ! You see, 
Kitty, it must have been either me or the Red King. 

He was part of my dream, of course but then I was 

part of his dream, too ! Was it the Red King, Kitty ? 

You were his wife, my dear, so you ought to know 

Oh, Kitty, do help to settle it ! I'm sure your paw 
can wait ! " But the provoking kitten only began on 
the other paw, and pretended it hadn't heard the ques- 
tion. 

Which do you think it was % 




A boat, beneath a sunny sky 
Lingering onward dreamily 
In the evening of July 



Children three that nestle near, 
Eager eye and willing ear, 
Pleased a simple tale to hear 



Long has paled that sunny sky: 
Echoes fade and memories die : 
Autumn frosts have slain July. 

Still she haunts me, phantom vise, 
Alice moving under skies 
Never seen by waking eves. 

Children yet, the tale to hear, 
Eager eve and willing ear, 
Lovingly shall nestle near. 

In a Wonderland they lie, 
Dreaming as the davs 20 bv, 
Dreaming as the summers die: 

Ever drifting down the stream 

Lingering in the golden gleam 

Life, what is it but a dream ? 



THE EXD. 



274 



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Making His Way. 


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Only an Irish Boy. 


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Helping Himself. 


Tony, the Tramp. 


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Try and Trust. 


In a New W orld. 


Wait and Hope. 


Jack's Ward, 

Jed, the Poor House Boy. 


Walter Sherwood's Pro- 
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Joe's Luck. 


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Helen's 
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Alice in Wonderland and Through 

the L' oking-Glass. 
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Palmer Cox's Fairy Book. 
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Robinson Crusoe. 
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Tales from Scott forYoung People. 
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Uncle Tom's Cabin. 



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m. Mirthful Books Worth Reading ! 




&eek's jftecktf 
of ^turner 



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Dictionaries of the 
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" " " y 2 Russia, $1.75. 

" " " Pull Sheep, $2.25. 



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Aikenside, 

Bad Hugh, 

Cousin Maude, 

Darkness and Daylight, 

Dora Deane, 

Edith Lyle's Secret, 

English Orphans, 

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Family Pride, 

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Leighton Homestead, 

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Maggie Miller, 

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Mildred, 

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Rector of St. Marks, 

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Among Malay Pirates. A Story of 

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Bonnie Prince Charlie. A Tale of 

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Boy Knight, The. A Tale of the 

Crusades. 
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Peterborough in Spain. 
By England's Aid ; or, The Freeing 

of the Netherlands (1585-1604). 
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By Right of Conquest ; or With Cor- 

tez in Mexico. 
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ABhanti War. 
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the Gold Fields of California. 
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Life in Australia. 
For Name and Fame ; or, Through 

Afghan Passes. 
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of Jerusalem. 
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of the Civil War in England. 
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In Freedom's Cause. A Story of 

Wallace and Bruce. 
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Lion of the North, The, A Tale of 
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Lost Heir, The. 

Maori and Settler. A Story of the 
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One of the 28th. A Tale of Water- 
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Through the Fray. A Story of the 
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True to the Old Flag. A Tale of the 
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Young Buglers, The. A Tale of tha 
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Young Carthaginian, The. A Story 
of the Times of Hannibal. 

Young Colonists, The. A Story of 
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Young Franc-Tireurs, The. A Tale 
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Young Midshipman, The. A Tale of 
the Siege of Alexandria. 



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tlCiClR Illustrated by Palmer Cox 

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A Scottish Story by J. J. Bell. 

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A BOOK OF THE HOUR 



The Simple Life 



By CHARLES WAGNER 



Translated from the French by H. L. WILLIAMS 



The sale of this book has been magnetic and 
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Tliis is the book that President Roosevelt 
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A Famous Series of Books now offered at a Third the Former Cost 

A very famous series 

" T r\rr f~*aKin +r\ of books, that ar "e now 
J^Ug V^aUill LU undergoing a remark- 

ttt-i • tt >> able revival, owing to 

White liOUSe the fact that heretofore, 

the prices asked have 
Qpi-ipo ii J ii been ridiculously high, 
,JC1 lc;> *& ^ ^ and only the person of 

means could buy them ; 
now they are published in identically the same style at 
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The author, William M. Thayer, is a famous bio- 
grapher, and writings from his pen have been sought 
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From Boyhood to Manhood ; Life of Benjamin Franklin. 

From Farm House to White House; Lile of George Washington. 

From Log Cabin to White House; Life of James A. Garfield. 

From Pioneer Home to White House ; Life of Abraham Lincoln. 

From Tannery to White House; Life of Ulysses S. Grant. 

Success and Its Achievers. 

Tact, Push and Principle. 

These titles, though by different authors, also belong 
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From Cottage to Castle ; The Story of Gutenberg, Inventor of 
Printing. By Mrs. E. C. Pearson. 

Capital for Working Boys. By Mrs. Julia E. M'Conaughy. 

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