Google
This is a digital copy of a book that was preserved for generations on library shelves before it was carefully scanned by Google as part of a project
to make the world's books discoverable online.
It has survived long enough for the copyright to expire and the book to enter the public domain. A public domain book is one that was never subject
to copyright or whose legal copyright term has expired. Whether a book is in the public domain may vary country to country. Public domain books
are our gateways to the past, representing a wealth of history, culture and knowledge that's often difficult to discover.
Marks, notations and other maiginalia present in the original volume will appear in this file - a reminder of this book's long journey from the
publisher to a library and finally to you.
Usage guidelines
Google is proud to partner with libraries to digitize public domain materials and make them widely accessible. Public domain books belong to the
public and we are merely their custodians. Nevertheless, this work is expensive, so in order to keep providing tliis resource, we liave taken steps to
prevent abuse by commercial parties, including placing technical restrictions on automated querying.
We also ask that you:
+ Make non-commercial use of the files We designed Google Book Search for use by individuals, and we request that you use these files for
personal, non-commercial purposes.
+ Refrain fivm automated querying Do not send automated queries of any sort to Google's system: If you are conducting research on machine
translation, optical character recognition or other areas where access to a large amount of text is helpful, please contact us. We encourage the
use of public domain materials for these purposes and may be able to help.
+ Maintain attributionTht GoogXt "watermark" you see on each file is essential for in forming people about this project and helping them find
additional materials through Google Book Search. Please do not remove it.
+ Keep it legal Whatever your use, remember that you are responsible for ensuring that what you are doing is legal. Do not assume that just
because we believe a book is in the public domain for users in the United States, that the work is also in the public domain for users in other
countries. Whether a book is still in copyright varies from country to country, and we can't offer guidance on whether any specific use of
any specific book is allowed. Please do not assume that a book's appearance in Google Book Search means it can be used in any manner
anywhere in the world. Copyright infringement liabili^ can be quite severe.
About Google Book Search
Google's mission is to organize the world's information and to make it universally accessible and useful. Google Book Search helps readers
discover the world's books while helping authors and publishers reach new audiences. You can search through the full text of this book on the web
at |http: //books .google .com/I
MICr^OSLMJED
THE ''''Z •• ^
AVTOBIOGRAPHT
V OP
\
THE GILSBRATSD IfliriSTER OF CAMBRIDGX, V. X.
WITH ADDITIONAL NOTICES OF 1119 LIF£ AND
CHARACTER,
BT mSHBMIAH ADAMS,
PaatoT of th« Fint Church in connexion with th« 8hepud Society*
Cambridge.
' H . T
• » •
»
4 >
BOSTON:- •• -
PUBLISHED BY PIERCE AND PARKER.
1832.
I THE HEW YORK
I PUBUC LIBRARY
6259044
A8T01I, LENOX ANt>
TIUMEM FOUMOATIOMS I
a ioag L I
*ii«W
Entered according to Act of Congreis, in the year 183S, by Nehe-
miah Adami, in the Clerk's Office of the Diitriet of llaitachngottfl.
■ ■ " « Ml ■ ■ « » M I II I ■■
ADVERTISEMENT.
Th£ circumstances connected withtiie publication of this
Auto-biography are as interesting to those concerned in them
as the book itself. The First Church in Cambridge, settled
and built up by this great and good man Thomas Shepard,
(after the removal of a former Chusch with their Pastors,
Hooker and Stone, from Cambridge to Hartford, Conn.) was
compelled a few years since, by measures too well known to
the public, to leave their place of worship in the hands of ai
Unitarian parish, and two or three Unitarian male members
I of the Church. By decisions of the Supreme Court of
Mass. the churches have been pronounced incompetent to
retain property unless connected with an incorporated so-
ciety. These decisions, made in opposition to a vast array
IfA of facts, atnd contrary to the opinions of many of the most
distinguished jurists not only of this, but of other States,
^* have stripped the churches of property raised at the com-
IQ munion table or given expressly for the use of the Church
S^ by those who never dreamed that their sacred donations
would be sequestered to the support of ^ another gospel.' The
B^ Church in Cambridge owned a valuable set of Communion
^f^ Plate, parts of which were purchased, as appears from the
Records, by church funds, and the rest given by individual
I members or friends. They had also a fund of nearly $5000,
^ I
IV
constituted originaHy by a small donation from a member,
and increased to the above>named sum entirely by contribu-
tions at the Communion. This, however, with the Plate,
has been claimed and recovered by the Church of the First
Parish, and is now employed for the support -of Unitarian
worship, and in the Unitarian celebration ofthe Sacrament.
Individual members of the First Church have furnished their
private plate for Communion seasons, until it became inexpe-
dient to depend any longer upon such supply. In this extrem •
ity, the providence of God having thrown this interesting an I
precious manuscript Auto-biography in our way, it seemed
good that THOMAS SHEPARDshouId have the delightful
privilege of furnishing his Church with the means of celebra-
ting the Ordinance of their common Saviour. Accordingly a
number of copies of the Book sufficient to defray the expense
of a plain but suitable Communion Service being engaged, the
Church, at their last Communion in Nov., were led to adore
the providence of God, in supplying their necessities in this
Interesting and affecting manner. It required no effort of
imagination to conceive of the feelings of Thomas Shepard,
were he permitted to see, how that being dead he yet spake
to us. We were therefore consoled in a measure for the
spoiling of our goods, knowing that we are surrounded by
such witnesses, and in the belief that an exception, filed by
him at the Great Tribunal, to the treatment of his, and
other churches, will come up for a hearing at the great and
final day.
This book which is now for the first time presented to the
public is a rare specimen of ancient Auto-biography. It is
in the form of a 24mo. about 5 inches by 3, bound, and con-
taining 200 pages, 94 of which are filled with the Biogra-
phy, Diary, and a few scattered accounts of the Author's
pecuniary concerns. The book has evidently had many
owners. A gentleman in Newbury (Byfield) wrote to the
Editor that it was in the possession of another in Med£i)rd*
On application) it was ascertained that it belonged to the
Rev. James Blake'Howe, of Claremont, N. H., who^ upon
an earnest request, very politely gave it to the present owner,
in trust, for the First Church, connected (in reference to
the decisions of the Courts) with a new Society, called the
" Shepard Congregational Society."
This MS. is in all probability the souree fitom which
Cotton Mather, in the Magnalia, drew his interesting no-
tices of Shepard. By a comparison, it will be seen that the
extracts in the Magnalia are, verbatim, from this Biography,
The book, in addition to the interest which it will give to
the lovers of antiquity, and of the curiosities of religious lit-
erature, is invaluable as a specimen of simple, childlike con-
fidence in God, of heartfelt and earnest piety, and of an un-
affected devotional spirit. It will l>e found highly instruc-
tive from the minute account given of the writer's religious
experience, in which it is believed many wiQ find great light
and direction.
The original orthography has been carefully preserved.
Several sentences, afler long deliberation, have been omitted
in the transcript, as they were conceived to be, both in mat-
ter and manner, unsidted to what some call the fastidious-
ness, but others the refinement and delicacy of the age.
The avails of this book will be applied to the use of the
Church with which the Shepard Society is connected.
Editor.
1*
]Bftr(cat(om
TO MY DEARE SON,
TBOM1L8 SBBFA&O^
[WiA whom I leave these record* of God's great kindnem
to him, not kiKyirin^ that I shaB Kve to tell them
myselfe with my own mouth, that so he may
leame to know & love the great &
most high Crod,
VHK GOD or Hit FATHER.
Fac- Simile of Thoma*^ S2iepard's
tiand -writing- .
If rf:/
'PeiUUmt^n'* LtOufgrapf^, Soston. .
f iftE rOLLOWING CHAPT8R APPEAM IN THB M8. AS AN
INTRODUCTION.
In the yeare of the Lord 1634, Oetob. 16 my-
selfe, wife and family, with my first son Thomas,
committed ourselves to the care of our God to
keepe us on, and carry us over the mighty seas from
old England to New England ; but we had not bin
two days on the sea but that the wind arose and
drave our ship almost upon the sands, where the
Lord did most apparently stretch forth his hands in
saving us from them when we were within a very
little ready to be dasht in pieces upon them ; and
this great danger of sinking, and loosing all our
lives was twise in two several dayes, that if there
had not bin the infinite wisdom and power of
God to helpe us, I did not conceive how possibly
we could have escaped in such terrible storms.
Now one cause of our going at this time of
winter was because we were persecuted in Old
England for the truth of Christ which we pro-
fessed there ; we durst not stay to make ourselves
known there which would have bin at the bapti«
O INTBODUCTION.
zing of my child ; hence we hastened for New
England.
After that we came from the sea, my first son
fell sick in passing from the ship to the shore in
the boat; of which sickness, within a fortnight
after, he died at Yarmouth in Old England,
which was no small grief to us ; but the Lord
preserved us, and provided for me and my wife a
hiding-place from the knowledge of our enemies
and from th^ir malice, by the meanes of Mrs.
Corbet in Norfolke, in one of whose houses . we
stayed all that hard winter with our dear friend
Mr. Roger Harlakendon, and enjoyed a sweet
time together in a most, retyered manner ; so the
winter being spent, we were much perplexed
whither to goe, and where to stay that we might
not be known, and keepe my second child so
secretly as that it might not be baptised until it
came to take of that ordinance :in purity in old
England ; and being thus doubtful what to doe,
the Lord by letters from London called us to
come thither, where my wife might have all helpe
in her sickness and my child kept secret ; and
this we concluded for to doe, and therefore tooke
our leave of this our winter house, and in our
way to London, we went to Mr. Burroughs his
house a godly, able minister.
From thi? place we went to London, and there
the Lord provided for my wife and selfe and
IN^AODUCTION. 9
friends a very private house, where our friends
did us all the good they could, and our enemies
could doe us no hurt ; where my wife, on the
sabMth day being April 5, 1636, was delivered
ifierci fully of this 2d. sbn Thomas ; which name
I gave him because we thought the Lord gave
me the first son I lost on si^a in this, agayne, and
hence gave him his brother's name. And so the
mother growing strong the child begatat to gfow
weake, and I did veryly thinke wbfiM have died
of a sore mouth ; which I taking to hart, the
Lord awakened me in the night and stirred mo
up to pray for him, and that with very much
ferving as I thought; and many ah'guiiients to
presse the Lord for his life came in, as : —
1. The glory the Lord should have by be-
trusting me with this child, he should be the
Lord's forever.
2. Because this kindness would be to me fhiit in
season, if in the time of my privacy, persecution,
and sorrow for the losse of my first child he would
give me this, and that other, in this.
3. Because though it was brought very low, yet
then was the Lord's time to remember to helpe.
4. Because I thought if the Lord should not
hear me now, my soule would be discouraged from
seeking to him, because I sought for the first and
could not prevayle for his life, and this was sore
if the Lord should not hear me for this.
10 INTBODUCTIOK.
5. Because all healing vertue was in Xt. Jesus
hands who was very, tender of all that brought
their sick unto him.
6. Although my sins might hinder him from
doing this, yet I told the Lord his mercy should
be the more wonderfull if in healing my child of
his sickness he would withall heal.me of my sins ;
—and ihua after a sad heavy night the Lord
shined v^u me in the .morning, for I found him
suddenly and strangely amended of his sore mouth
which I did expect would have bin his death. Oh
the tenderness of our God 1 Remember, therefore,
my son, this mercy of the Lord to you. Thus
the child with the mother having recovered their
strength, we set a second time to sea, and when
we went, the child was so feeble that diverse of
our friends did conclude the child could not live
until it came to New England in a close ship:
but the care of God was so great, that it was
made much better by the sea, and more lively
and strong ; and in this voyage, it and all of us
were in danger of being drowned by a most ter-
rible leake which the Lord stopt for us ; another
danger in the ship that the Lord delivered it
from was this. The ship in a storm tumbling
suddenly on the one side, my wife having the
child in her arms was almost pitcht with her
head and child in her armes agaynst a post in
the ship ; and being ready to fall shee felt her-
INTRODUCTION. 11
selfe plucktback by shee knew not what; where-
by shee and the child were agayne preserved ;
and I cannot ascribe this to any other but the
angels of God who are ministering spirits for the
heirs of life.
And thus after about eleven weeks sayle from
old England, we came to New England shore :
where the mother fell sick of a consumption and
you my child wert put to nurse to one goodwife
Hopkins, who was very tender of thee ; and af-
ter we had been here diverse weekes on the 7th
of February or there about, God gave thee the
ordinance- of baptism, whereby God' is become
thy God, and is before hand with thee, that
whenever you shall return to God, he will un-
doubtedly receive you ; and this is a most high
and happy privilege ; and therefore blesse God
for it. And now after that this had bin done, thy
deare mother dyed in the Lord, departing out of
this world to another, who did loose her life by
being careful] to preserve thine ; for in the ship
thou wert so feeble and froward both in the day
and night, that hereby shee lost her strength and
at last her life. Shee hath made also many a
prayer and shed many a tear in secret for thee ;
and this hath bin oft her request that if the Lord
did not intend to glorify himselfe by thee, that he
would cut thee off by death rather than to live to
dishonor him by sin ; and therefore know it that
12 . ^NTBOJDUOTION.
if you shalt turne rebell agaynst God and forsake
God, and care not for the knowledge of him nor
to beleeve in his Spn, the Iiord w^l .n^ake all
these mercys, woes; and all thy mother's prayers,
teares and death to be a swift witness agaynst
thee at the great day.
Thus the Lord taking away thy deare .mother's
life, the Lord takes care for ithee and preserved
thee in health untill the spring, May 1, 1636.
And now the hand of the Lord was strecht
out agaynst my child ; so that he had for diverse
weekes a sore mouth both within and without ;
cheeks and lips full of blisters so as that he could
eat no meat, only suck the breast, by which only
he lived along time, which I did thinke would
have bin its death agayne ; but the Lord being
sought unto recovered him agayne, and then the
humour fell into his eyes, which grew so sore
that partly by the humour and party by the ill-
handling and applying medicines to them, his
eyes grew starke blind with pearles upon both
eyes and a white film, insomuch as it was a most
dreadfull sight unto all the beholders of him and
very pittifull ; which was such a misery that me-
thought now I had rather that the Lord would take
away my child e by death than let it lead a blind
and a miserable life : but the Lord saw my sor-
rowes, my teares, my poore prayers which were
in bitterness for him ; and after that I had con-
INTRODUCTION^ 13
eluded I must have a blind child to be a constant
Borrow to me till my death, and was made to be
contented to beare the indignation of the Lord
because I had sinned, resolving now to feare nor
care nor greeve no more but to be thankful], nay
to. love the Lord, presently I say upon this by
a poore weake meanes, vizt. the oyle ^^i^ite pa-
per, the Lord: restored my child ]^q /his sigl^
suddenly and strangely, I may almost say mirac-
ulously agayne, which was no small joy to me
and no little encouragement to doe the Lord's
worke that tooke so much care for me and
mine. Now consider, my son, and remember to
lift up thy eyes to heaven, to God in everlasting
prayses of him and dependance upon him ; and
take heed thou dost not make thy eyes windowes
of lust, but give thy eyes, nay thy heart and whole
soule and body to him that hath been so carefull
of thee when thou couldst not care for thyselfe.
AUTOBIOGRAPHY.
T. i MY BIRTH & LIFE. I S.
In the yeare of Christ 1605 upon the 5 day
of November, called the Powder treason day,
& that very houre of the day wherin the Parla-
ment should have bin blown up by Popish
priests, I was then borne; which occasioned my
father to give me this name Thomas^ because he
sayd I would hardly beleeve that ever aoy such
wickedness should be attempted by men agaynst
BO religious and good Parlament. My father's
name was William Shepard, borne in a little
poore towne in Northamptonshire called Fos-
secut neare Towcester, & being a prentice to
on Mr. Bland a groser he marryed on of his
daughters, of whom he begat many children;
3 sons, John, William & Thomas; & 6 daugh-
ters; An, Margaret, Mary, Elizabeth, Hestor,
Sarah; of all which only John, Thomas, Anna
tc Margaret are still living in the Town where
16 MEMOIRS OF
I was born, viz. Towcester in Northamptonshire,
6 miles distant from the towne of Northampton
in old England. I do well remember my father
& have some little remembrance of my mother.
My father was a wise prudent man, the peace-
maker of the place, & toward his latter end
much blessed of Grod in his estate & in his.soule.
For there being no good ministry in the town,
he was resolved to goe & lire .at Banbury in
Oxfordshire, under a stirring ministry having
bought a house there for that end. My mother
was a woman much afflicted in conscience
sometimes even unto distraction of mind, yet
was sweetly recovered agayne before shee died.
I being the youngest, shee did beare exceeding
great love to me, & made many prayers for me;
but shee died when I was about 4 years old Sc
my father lived & marryed a second wife now
dwelling in the same town, of whom he beg'at
^ children, Samuell & Elizabeth, and died when
I was about 10 year es of age. But while my
father & mother lived, when I was about 3
yeares old there was a great plague in the Town
of Towcester, which «wept away many in my
father's family, both sisters £c servants. I
being the youngest & best beloved of my mother
was sent away the day the plague brake out to
live with my aged grandfather & grandmother
in Fossecut^ a most blind town & corner, &
THOMAS SHEPARD. 17
those I lived with also being very well to live
yet very ignorant; &» there was I put to keepe
geese & other such country woorke, all that
time much neglected of them, & afterwards
sent from them unto Adthrop, a little blind
town adjoining, to my uncle, where I had
more content but did learne to sing & sport .as
children do in those parts, 6l dance at their
Whitson Ales; until! the plague was removed
& my deare mother dead, who died not of the
plague but of some ether disease after it; &
being come home my sister An marry ed to on
Mr. Farmer, & my sister Margaret loved me
much, who afterward marry ed to my father's
prentice, viz; Mr. Mapler; & my father mar-
ryed agayne to another woman who did let me
see the difference between my own mother &
a step-mother; shee did seeme not to love me but
incensed my father agaynst me ; it may be that
it was justly also for my childishness; & having
lived thus for a time, my father sent me to
schoole to a Welch man, on Mr. Rico, who
kept the Free schoole in the town of Towces-
ter; but he was exceeding curst & cruell &
would deale rongly with me, & so discouraged
me wholly frrm desire of learni cr that I re-
member I wished oftentimes myselfe in any con-
dition to keepe hogs or beasts rather than to
goe to schoole & learne. , But my father was
2*
18 MEMOIRS OF
visited at last with sickness, having taken some
cold upon some pills he tooke & so had the
Hicketo with his sickness a weeke together, in
which time I do remember I did pray very
strongly & hartily for the life of my father, &
made some covenant, if God would do it to
serve him the better, as knowing I should be
left alone if he was gone; yet the Lord tooke
him away by death, & so I was left fatherless &
motherless when I was about 10 yeares old, £l
was committed to my step-mother to be edu-
cated, who therefore. had my portion which was
a 100 lb., which my father left me. But shee
neglecting my education very much, my brother
John who was my only brother alive desired to
have me out of her hands, to have me with him,
& he would bring me up for -the use of my por-
tion, & so at last it was granted. And so I
lived with this my eldest brother, who showed
much love unto me & unto whom I owe much;
for him God made to be both father and mother
unto me. And it happened that the cruel!
schoolmaster died & another came into his
roome, to be a preacher also in the town who
was an eminent preacher in those dayes & ac-
counted holy, but afterward turned a great
Apostate & enemy to all righteousness, & I
feare did commit the unpardonable sin. Yet
it so fell out by God's good providence that this
THOMAS 8HEFARD. 19
man stirred up in my hart a love & desire of
the honour of learning, & therefore I told my
friends I would he a scholar; &. so the Lord
blessed me in my studies & gave me some
knowledge of the Latine & Greeke tongues, but
much ungrounded in both. But I was studious
because I was ambitious of learning & being a
scholar; & hence when I could not take notes
of the sermon, I remember I was troubled at
it & prayed the Lord earnestly that he would
helpe me to note sermons. And I see cause
of woondring at the Lord's providence therein,
for as soone as ever I had prayed (after my best
fashion) then for it, I presently the next Sab-
bath was able to take notes who the precedent
Sabbath could do nothing at all that way. So I
continued till I was about 15 yeares of age, &,
then was conceived to be ripe for the Universi-
ty. And it pleased the Lord to put it into my
brother's hart to provide & to seeke to prepare a
place for me there, which was done in this man-
ner: On Mr. Cockerille, fellow of Emanuel
Colledge in Cambridge, being a Northampton-
shire man came down into the country to North-
ampton, &, so sent for me, who upon examination
of me gave my brother incouragement to send
me up to Cambridge. And so I came up, &
though I was very raw & young, yet it pleased
God to open the harts of others to admit me
20 MEMOIRS OF '
into the Colledge a pensioner, & so Mr. Cocke^
rill became my Tutour. But I doe here won-
der Sl I hope shall blesse the Lord forever in
heaven that the Lord did so graciously provide
for me. For I have oH thought what a wofull
estate I had bin led in, if the Lord had left me
in that prophane, ignorant town of Towcester
where I was borne, that the Lord should pluck
mee out of that sink & Sodom, who was the
least in my father's house, forsaken of father
& mother, yet that the Lord should fetch me
out from thence by such a sweat hand.
The first two years I spent in Cambridge was
in studying and in neg'ect of G>d Sl private
prayer which I had sometimes used, and I did
not regard the Lord at all unless it were at
some fits. The third yeare wherin I was Soph-
ister I began to be foolish & proud, to show
myselfe in the public schooles there to be a
disputer about things which now I see I did not
know then at all but only prated about them.
Toward the end of this yeare, when I was most
vile, (after I had been next unto the gates of
death by the small pox the yeare before) the
Lord began to call me home to the fellowship of
hi^ grace, which was in this manner.
1. I doe remember that I had many good
affections (but blind & unconstant) oft cast into
me since my father's sickness by the spirit of
THOMAS 8HEFARD. 21
God wrastling with me; &, hence I would pray
in secret, & hence when I was at Cambridge I
heard old Doctor Chadderton the master of the
Colledge when I came, & the first yeare I was
there to heare him upon a Sacrament Day my
hart was much affected ; biit I did brake loose
from the Lord agayne, & half a yeare afler I
heard Mr. Dickinson common place in the
chappel upon these words^ '^ I will not destroy
it for ten's sake," Gen: 19. & then agayne was
much affected, but I shooke this off also & fell
from God to loose Sl lewd company, to lust &
pride & gaming & bowling & drinking; yet
the Lord left me not, but a godly schoUar walk-
ing with me fell to discourse about the misery
of every man out of Xt., viz: that whatever
they did was sin; & this did much affect me;
& at another time when I did light in godly
company I heard them discourse about the
wrath of God & the terrour of it, & how intol-
lerable it was, which they did present by fire,
how intolerable the torment of tl^at was for a
time; what then would eternity be? — ^this did
much awaken me, & I began to pray agayne;
but then by loose company I came to dispute in
the schooles, & then to joyne to loose schollars
of other coUedges, & was fearfully left of God, &
fell to drinke with them, & I dranke so much
on day that I was dead drunk, &. that upon a
22 MEMOiRf> or
Saturday night & was so carryed from the plac«
I had drinked at, &. did feast at, unto a schol-
lar's chamber, on Basset of x's. colledge; &
knew not where I was until I awakened late on
that Sabbath & sick with my beastly carnage,
& when I awakened I went from him in shame
& confusion & went out into the fealds & there
spent that Sabbath lying hid in the cornfealds,
where the Lord who might justly have cut me
off in the midst of my sin, did meet me with
much sadness of hart & troubled my soule for
this & other my sins which then I had cause
& ley sure to thinke of, & now when I was
woorst he began to be best unto me, & made me
resolve to set upon a course of dayly medita-^
tion about the evil! of sin & my own wayes;
yet although I was troubled for this sin, I did
not know my sinfull nature all this while.
2. The Lord therefore sent Doctor Preston to
be master of the coUedge, & Mr. Ston & others
commending his preaching to be most spirituall
& excellent, I began to listen unto what he
sayd. The first sermon he preached was Rom:
12: Be renewed in the spirit of your mind; in
opening which point, viz., the change of hart in
a Xian., the Lord so bored my eares as that I
understood what he spake, & the secrets of my
soule were laid open before me, the hypocrisy
of all my good things I thought I had in me; &3
THOMAd SHEPAtlD. 23
if one had to]d him of all that ever I did, of all
the turnings & deceyts of my hart; insomuch as
that I thought he was the most searching
preacher in the woorld; and I began to love
him much & to blesse God I did see my frame
dzr ray hypocrisy & selfe & secret sins; although
I found a hard hart & could not be affected with
them.
3. I did therefore set more constantly, viz.
1624, May 3, upon this worke ofdayly meditation,
sometimes every morning, but constantly every
evening, before supper, & my cheefe meditation
was about the evil of sin, the terrour of God's
wrath, day of death, beauty of xt., the deceit-
fulness of the hart, &c. ; but principally I found
this my misery, sin was not my greatest evil,
did ly light upon me as yet, yet 1 was much
afrayd of death & the flames of God's wrath; &
this I remember, I never went out to meditate in
the feelds, but I did find the Lord teaching me
somewhat of myselfe or hiraselfe, or the vanity
of the worlde I never saw before; Si, hence I
tooke out a little booke I have into the feelds,
dz> writ down what God taught me least I should
forget them, Si, so the Lord encouraged me. Si, I
grew much; but in my observation of myselfe I
did see my Atheisme; I questioned whether
there were a God, my unbeleefe whether xt.
was the Messiah, whether the Scriptures were
24 MEMOIRS OV
God's word or no; I felt all manner of tempta*
tions to all kind of religions not knowing whidb^
I should choose; whether education might not
make me beleeve what I had beleeved, d&
whether if I had bin educated up among the
Papists I should not have bin as verily per-
suaded that Popery is the truth or Turcbme is
the truth; d& at last I heard of Grindleton^ & I
did question whether that glorious estate of
perfection might not be the truth, d& whether
old Mr. Rogers's Treatises & the practice of
Xianity, the booke which did first worke upon my
hart, whether these men were not all Legall men,
&r there bookes so; but the Lord delivered me
at last from them; & in the conclusion after
many prayers, meditations &> duties, the Lord
let me see 3 mayne wounds in my soule. 1 . I
could not feele sin as my greatest evil. 2. 1 could
do nothing but I did seeke myselfe in it d& was
imprisoned there,- 61, though I desired to be a
preacher, yet it was honour I did looke too, like
a vile wretch in the use of God's gifts I desired
to have. 3. I felt a depth of Atheisme & unbe-
leefe in the maine matters of salvation, & wheth-
er the Scriptures were God's word; these things
did much trouble me, & in the conclusion did so
far trouble me, that I could not read the Scrip-
tures or hear them read without secret & hel-
lish blasphemy, calling all into question, & all
THOMAS SHEFAKD. 25
X's. miracles; & hereupon I fell to doubt wheth-
eel had not committed the unpardonable sin;
& because I did question whether X did not
cast out devils from Beelzebub, I did thinke
& feare ilHid; & now the terrours of the Lord
began to breake in like floods of fire into my
soule; for three quarters of a year this tempta-
tion did last, & I had some strong temptations
to run my head agaynst walls & braine & kill
myselfe; & so I did see as I thought God's eter-
nal reprobation of me, a fruit of which was this
dereliction to these doubts & darkness, & I did
see God like a consuming fire, &> an everlast-
ing burning, & myselfe like a poor prisoner
leading to that fire, & the thoughts of eternall
reprobation & torment did amaze my spirits,
especially atone time upon a sabbath day at eve-
ning & when I knew not what to do (fori went
to no Xian, & was ashamed to speake of these
things) it came to my mind that I should do as
X did; when he was in an agony, he prayed
earnestly; & so I fell down to prayer, & being
in prayer, I saw myselfe so unholy & God so
holy that my spirits began to sinke ; yet the
Lord recovered me & poured out a spirit of
prayer upon me for free mercy & pitty, & in
the conclusion of the prayer, I found the Lord
helping me to see my unworthiness of any
mercy, & that I was worthy to be cast out of
3
36 MEMOIRS OF
his sight, & so leave myselfe with him to 4d
with me what he would ; & then iSi never um'^
til then I found rest; & so my heart was hum-
hied &r cast down, & I went with a stayed
heart unto supper late that night, & rda(0d there ;
& so the terrour of the. Lord began to assuage
sweetly, yet when those were gone I felt my
sheeldlessness of sin & bondage totself & unconr
stancy & loosing what the Lord had wrought^
&, my hartlessness &l loathing of God's wayes;
whereupon walking in the feeldjs the Lord
dropt this meditation unto me: Be not discour-
aged therefore because thou art so vile, but
make this double use of it; 1. loathe thyselfe
the more; 2, feele a greater neede & put a
greater price upon Jesus x> who only can sub-
due thee from all sin; & this I found of won-
derfull use tp me in all my course, whereby I
was kept from sinkings of hart, &l did beat
Satan as it were with his own weapons; & saw
Xt. teaching me this before any man preached
any such thing unto me. And so the Lord did
helpe me to loathe myselfe in some measure, &
to say oil why should I seeke the glory d& good
of myselfe, who am the greatest enemy^ worse
than the devil can be agaynst myselfe, which
selfe ruins me, & blinds mee d&c. ; & thus God
kept my hart exercised, &, here I began to for-
sake my loose company wholly, & to do what
THOMAS SHEPARD. 27
I could to worke upon the harts of other schol-
lars, & to humble them, & to come into a way
of holy walking in our speeches & otherwise;
(but yet I had no assurance that xt. was mine.)
4. The Lord therefore brought Dr. Preston
to preach from that text 1 Cor. 1: 30, Xt. is
made unto us wisdom, righteousness, sanctifi-
cation & redemption; £l when he had opened
how air the good I had, all the redemption I
had, it was from Jesus xt., I did then begin to
prise him, & he became very sweet unto me,
although I had heard many a time xt. freely
offered by his ministry if he would come in, &
receive him as Lord&r Saviour & husband; but
I found my heart ever unwilling to accept of
xt. upon these grounds; I found them impossi-
ble for me to keepie that condition, & xt. was
not so sweet as my lust, but now the Lord made
himself sweet to me & to embrace him & to
give up myselfe unto him; but yet after this I
had many feares & doubts.
5. I found therefore the Lord revealing free
mercy, & that all my helpe was in that, to give
me xt., & so to enable me to beleeve in xt.,
& accept of him, 6l here I did rest. The Lord
also letting mee see my constant vileness in
everything. 6. Put mee to this question: why
did the. Lord Jesus keepe the Law? [Hee]
had no guile in his hart, & had no unbrokenness,
28 MEMOIRS OF
but holiness there. Was it not for them that
did want it; & here I saw xt. Jesus' righteous*
ness for a poore sinner's ungodliness: but jet
questioning whether ever the Lord would ap-
ply this 6l give this unto mee.
7. The Lord made mee see that so many as
received him, he gave power to become the sons
of God, John 1: 12; & I saw the Lord gave
me a hart to receive xt., wjth a naked hand
even a naked Xt., & so hee gave me peace.
And thus I continued till I was 6yeares stand-
ing, &r then went halfe a yeare before I was
Master of Arts, to Mr. Weld's house at Tar-
ling, where I enjoyed the blessing of his & Mr.
Hooker's ministry at Chelmsford; but before I
came there I was very solicitous what would
become of me when I was Master of Arts; for
then my time & portion would be spent, but
when I came thither d& had bin there some little
season until I was ready to be Master of Arts,
Dr. Wilson had purposed to get me upon a lec«
ture, & give 80 lb. per annum for the mainte-
nance of it; & when I was among those worthies
in Essex, where we had monthly fasts, they did
propound it unto mee to take the Lecture & to
set it up at a great town in Essex called Gogs-
hall. And so Mr. Weld especially prest me
unto it & wished me to seeke God about it;
& after fasting & prayer, the ministers in those
f
THOMAS 8H£PARD. 29
parts of £ssex had a day of humiliation & they
did seeke the Lord for direction where to place
the Lecture, & toward the evening of that day
they began to consider whether I should goe
to Cogshall or not. Most of the ministers were
for it, because it was a great town, & they did
not know any place that did desire it but they.
Mr. Hooker only did object -agaynst my going
thither, for being but young & unexperienced,
& there being an old yet sly & malicious minis-
ter in the town, who did seem, to give waye to
it to have it there, did therefore say it was dan-
gerous for little birds to build under the nests
of old ravens & kites. But while they were
thus debating it, the town of Earles-Colne
being 3 miles off from Essex, hearing that there
was such a lecture to be given freely, & con-
sidering that the lecture might convict that
poore towne, they did therefore just at this time
of the day come to the place where the minis-
ters met, viz. at Tarlingin Essex to desire that
it might be settled there for three yeares (for
no longer was it to continue in any place be-
cause it was conceived if any good was done,
it would be within such a time, & then if it went
away from them, the people in a populous
towne would be glad to maintayne the man
themselves, or if no good was done it was pitty
they should have it any longer.) When they
3*
30 MEMOIRS OF
thus came for it the ministers with one joyut
consent advised me to accept of the people'^
call, & to stay amimg them, if I found upon my
preaching a little season with them that tkey still
continued in their desires for mf continuance
there. Thus I, who was so young, so weake,
unexperienced & unfit for so great a woorke^
was called out by 12 or 16 ministers of xt. to
the woorke, which did much incourage my hart
& for the Lord's goodness herein I shall I hope
never forget his love, for I might have been
cast away upon a blind place without the helpe
of any ministry about me ; I might have been
sent to some gentleman's house to have bin
corrupted with the sins in it; but this I have
found, the Lord was not content to take me
from one town to another, but from the woorst
town I thinke in the woorld to the best place
for knowledge & learning, viz., to Cambridge,
& there the Lord was not content to give me
good meanes, but the best meanes, & minis-
try & help of private Xtians., for Dr. Preston &>
Mr. Goodwin were the most able men for
preaching Xt. in this latter age; & when I
came from thence, the Lord sent me to the best
county in England, viz., to £ssex, & set me in
the midst of the best ministry in the country, by
whose monthely fasts & conferences I found
much of God, & thus the Lord Jesus provided
THOMAS SHEFARD. 31
fi»r me of all things of the best. So being re*
«olved to goe unto Earles-Colne in Essex^ after
my commencing Mr. of Arte, & my sinful taking
of ofders about a fortnight after of the Bishop
of Peterborew, viz., B. Dove; I came to the
town & boarded in Mr. Cosins his house, an
aged but godly & cheerful xtian & school-
master in the town, by whose society I was
much refreshed, there being not one man else
in all the town that had any godliness but him,
that I could understand; so having preached
upon the Sabbath day out of 2. Cor. 5. 19., all
the town gave me a call, & set to their hands in
writing, & so I saw God would have me to be
there, but how to be there & continue there I
could not tell; yet 1 sinfully got a license to
officiate the cure of the Bishop of London's
register before my name was known; by ver-
tue of that I had much helpe, but when I had
been here awhile & the Lord had blessed my
labours to diverse in & out of the town, espe-
cially to the cheef house in the town, the Pria«
ry, Mr. Harlakinder's children, where the Lord
wrought mightily upon his eldest son, Richard,
(now dwelling there) d& afterward on Mr. Rog-
er, who came over with mee to New England
& dyed here, Satan began to rage, & the Com-
missaries, registers, & others to pursue me &
to threaten me, as thinking I was a Noncon-
32 MEMOIRS jOF
formable man; (when for the most of that time
I was not resolved either way, but was darke in
those things) yet the Lord having woorke to
do in the place kept me a poore ignorant thing
agaynst them all untill such time as my woorke A
was done, by strange & wonderful! means. Not-
withstanding, all the malice of the ministers
round about me, the Lord had one way or
other to deliver me. The course I tooke in my
preaching was 1 . to shew the people their mis-*
ery. 2. The remedy, xt. Jesus. 3. How they
should walke answerable to his mercy being re-
deemed by xt, ^^ so I found the Lord putting
forth his strength in my extreame weakness, &
not forsaking of me when I was so foolish as I
have wondered since why the Lord hath done
any good to mee 61, by mee. So the time of 3
yeares being expired the people would not let
me goe, but gathered about d£40 yearly for me,
& so I was intended to stay there if the Lord
would, & prevayled to. set up the lecture in the
town of Towcester, where I was borne, as know-
ing no greater love I could express to my poore
freends than thus; & so Mr. Ston (Dr. Wilson
giving way thereto) had the lecture & went to
Towcester with it, where the Lord was with him,
&r thus I saw the Lord's mercy following me to
make me a poor instrument of sending the gos-
pell to the place of my nativity.
THOMAS 8HEFARD. 33
f So when I had preached awhile at Earles-
Colne ahout half a yeare, the Lord saw me un-
fit & unworthy to continue me there any longer,
& so the Bishop of London Mountaigne heing
removed to Yorke, & Bishop Laud (now Arch-
Bishop) coming in his place as a fierce enemy
to all righteousness &, a man fitted of God to
be a scourge to his people, he presently (not
having been long in the place) but sent for me
up to London, & there never asking me wheth-
er I would subscribe, (as I remember) but what
I had to do to preach in his Diocesse, chiding
also Dr. Wilson for setting up this lecture in
his Diocesse. Ailer many ray ling speeches
agaynst me, forbad me to preach, & not on]y
so, but if I went to preach, any where else his
hand would reach me; & so God put me to si-
lence there, which did somewhat humble me,
for I did thinke it was for my sins the Lord did
set him thus agaynst me — ^yet when I was thus
silenced the Lord stirred me up freends. The
house of the Harlakinders were so many fathers
& mothers to me, & they & the people would
have me live there, tho, I did nothing but stay in
the place, but remayneing about halfe a yeare
afler this silencing among them, the Lord let
me see into the evill of the English Ceremonies,
Crosse, surplice and kneeling; and the Bishop
of London^ viz., Laud^ comming down to visit,
34 MEMOIRS OF
he cited me to appeare before him at the conrt
of Reldon, where I appearing he asked me what
I did in the place, & I told him I stodyed; he
asked me what? I told him the Others; he re-
plyed I might thank him for that, yet charged
me to depart the place. 1 asked hidl whither I
should goe; to the University, said he. I told
him I had no meanes to subsist there ; yet he
charged me to depart the place. Now about
this time I had great desire to change my es-
tate; and I had biii praying 8 yeares before
that the Lord would carry me to such a place
where T might have a meet yoke-fellow, and I
had a call at this tiaie to goe to Yorkshire, to
preach there in a gentleman's house; but I did
not desire to stir till the Bishop fired me out of
this place; for the Bishop having thus charged
me to depart, and being 2 dayes after to visit at
Dunmow in Essex, Mr. Weld, Mr. Daniel Rog-
ers, Mr. Ward, Mr. Marshall, Mr. Wharton
consulted together whether it was best to let
such a swine to root ap God's plants in Essex,
and not to give him some check, whereupon it
was agreed upon privately at Braintry, that
some should speake to him and give him a
check; so Mr, Weld and I travilling together
had some thought of going to New England, but
we did thinke it best to goe unto Ireland and
preach there, and to goe by Scotland thither ;
TUOMAS 8HEPARD. 35
bat when we came to the church, Mr. Weld
•tood and heard without (being excommunicated
by him.) I being now free went within, and
after sermon Mr. Weld went up to hear the
Bishop speake, and being scene to follow the
Bishop, tbe first thing he did was to examine
Mr. Weld what he did to follow him, and to
stand upon holy ground; thereupon he was com-
mitted to the Pursevant and bound over to
answer it at the high Commission; but when
Mr. Weld was pleading for himself and that it
was ignorance that made him come in, the Bish*
op asked whither he intended to goe, whether
to New England, and if so whether I would goe
with him. While he was thus speaking I came
into the crowd and heard the words, others bid
me goe away but neglecting to do it, a godly
man pulled me away with violence out of tho
crowd; and as soon as ever I was done the
Apparitor calls for Mr. Shepard and the Purse-
vant was sent presently after to finde me out,
but he that pulled me awa^ (Mr. Holbeech by
name, a schoolmaster at Felsted in Essex) has-
tened our horses, and away we rid as fast as we
could, and so the Lord delivered us out of the
hand of that lyon a third time; and now I per-
ceived I could not stay in Colne without dan-
ger, and hereupon receiveing a letter from Mr.
Ezekiel Rogers, then living at Rowly in York-
36 MEMOIRS OF
shire to encourage me to come to the knight's
house, called Sir Richard Darley, dwelling at a'
town called Buttetcrambe, and the knight's two
sons, viz. Mr. Henry and Mr. Richard Darlej,
promising me £20 a y eare for their part, and the
knight promising me my table, and the letters
sent to me crying with that voyce of the man of
Macedonia, come and help us; hereupon I re-
solved to follow the Lord to so remote and
strange a place, the rather because I might be
far from the hearing of the malicious Bishop
Laud, who had threatened me if I preached any
where. So when I was determined to goe, the
gentleman sent a man to me to be my guide in
my journey, who comming for me, with much
greefe of hart I forsook Essex and Earles-Colne
and they me; going as it were now I knew not
whither.
So as we traviled (which was 5 or 6 days
together neare unto Winter) the Lord sent much
raine and ill weather, insomuch as the floods
were up when we came neare Yorkshire, and
hardly passable ; at last we came to a towne
called Ferrybrig, where the waters were up and
ran over the bridge for halfe a mile together and
more ; so we hired a guide to lead us, but when
he had gone a little way the violence of the wa-
ter was such that he first fell in, and afler him
another man, who was neare drowning before
THOMAS SHEPARD. 37
ray eyes, whereupon my hart was so smitten with
^re of the dang'er, and my head so dizyed with
the running of the water, that had not the Lord
immediately upheld me and my horse also, and so
provided it, I had certainly perished that rout,
but the liOrd was strong in my weaknes. We
went on by some little direction upon the bridge,
and at last I fell in, yet in a place where the waters
were not so violent but I sate i!pon my horse,
which being a very good horse clambered up
upon the bridge agayne, but Mr. Darley's man
for feare of me, fell in also but came out safe
agayne and so we came to the dry land, where we
had a house and shided ourselves and went to
prayer and blest God for the wonderful preser*
vation of us, and the Lord made me then to pro-
fesse that I now looked upon my life as a new
life given unto me, which 1 saw good reason to
give up unto him and his service, and truly
about this time the Lord that had only dealt gent-
ly with me before, began to afflict me and let
me taste how good it was to be under his tutour-
ing, so I came to Yorke late upon Saturday
night, and having refresht ourselves there, I
came to Buttercrambe to Sir Rxhird's house
that night very wet and late, which is about 1
miles off from Yorke.
Now as soon as I came into the house I found
diverse of them at Dice and Tables. Mr«
4
38 MEMOIRS OF
Richard Darley one of the brothers being to re-
turn to London the Munday afler and being
desirous to hear me preach, sent me speedily to
my lodgings (the best in the house) and so I
preached the day afler once and then he depart-
ed the day afler, having carefully desired my
comfortable abode there, but I do remember I
never was so low sunk in my spirit as about this
time, for, 1. I was now far from all freends, 2.
I was I saw in a profane house, not any sin-
cerely good. 3. I was in a vile wicked town
and country. 4. I was unknown and exposed
to all wrongs. 5. I was unsufiicient to do any
woorke, and my sins were- upon me^ and here-
upon I was very low and sunke deepe, yet the
Lord did not leave me comfortless, for tho the
Lady was churlish, yet Sir Richard was ingeni-
ous, and I found in the house 3 servants, viz.
Tho. Fugill, Mrs. Margaret Tauteville, the
knight's kinswoman, that was afterwards my
wife, and Ruth Bushel! (who married to Ed-
ward Michelson) very carefull of me, which
somewhat refreshed me, but it happened that
when I had bin there a little while there was a
marriage of one Mr. Allured, a most prophane
young gentleman, to Sir Richard's daughter. I
was desired to preach at their marriage, at which
sermon the Lord first toucht the hart of Mrs.
Margaret with very great terrors for sin, and her
THOMAS SHEPARD. 39
Christless estate, whereupon others began to
locJce about them, especially the gentlewoman
lately married, Mrs. Allured ; and the Lord
brake both their hearts very kindly, then others
in the family, viz. Mr. Allured. He fell to fast-
ing and prayer and great reformation ; others
also were reformed and their hearts changed,
the whole family brought to external duties;
but I remember none in the town or about it
brought home ; and thus the Lord was with me
and gave us favour and freends and respect of
all in the family j and the Lord taught me much
of his goodness and sweetness, and' when he
had fitted a wife for me he then gave me her,
who was a most sweet humble woman full of
Christ, and a very discerning- Xtian.; a wife,
who was most incomparably loving to me and
every way amiable and holy and endued with
a very &weet spirit of prayer; and thus the Lord
answered my desires, when my adversaries in-
tended most hurt to me, the Lord was then best
unto me and used me the more kindly in every
place; for the Lord turned all the sons and Sir
Richard and Mr. Allured so unto me that they not
only gave her freely to be my wife, but enlarged
her portion also; and thus I did marry the best
and fittest woman in the woorld unto me, after I
had preached in this place about a 12 month; for
which mercy to me, in my exiled condition in a
40 MEMOIRS OF
strange place I did promise the Lord that this
mercy should knit my hart the nearer to him
and that his love should constrain me ; but I have
ill requited the Lord since that time; and forgot
myself and my promise also.
But now when we were marryed in the yeare
1632, shee was unwilling to stay at Butter-
crambe, and I saw no means or likelyhood of
abode there, for Bishop Neale comming up to
Yorke, no freends could procure my liberty of
him without subscription ; and hereupon the
Lord gave me a call to Northumberland, to a
town, called Heddon, 5 miles beyond Newcastle^
which when I had considered of and saw no
place but that to goe unto, and saw the people
very desirous of it, and that I might preach there
in peace being far from any Bishops I did resolve
to depart thither, and so being accompanied with
Mr. Allured to the place I came not without
many feares of enemies and my poore wife full
of fears. It was not a place of subsistence with
any comfort to me there; but the good Lord,
who all my life followed me, made this place the
fittest for me, and I found many sweet freends
and Xtian acquaintance, Mrs. Sherbourne
maintaining me, and Mrs. Fenwick lending us
the use of her house, so God comforted us in
our solitary and yet marryed condition many
wayes.
. THOMAS SHEPARD. 41
Now when I was here the Lord blest my la-
bours both to the saynts and sundry others about
Newcastle, and I came here to read & know more
of the Ceremonies, Church government and es-
tate, and the unlawful standing of Bishops than
in any other place. I lived at Mrs. Fenwick's
house for a time about a 12 month or half a yeare,
and then we went and dwelt alone in a town neare
Heddon called -^ , in a house which we fouitid
haunted with the devil as we conceived, for
when we came in to it a known witch went out
of it, and being troubled with noyses 4 or 5
nights together, we sought God by prayer to re-
move so sore a tryall, and the Lord heard and
blest us there and removed the trouble, but after
we were settled the Bishop put in a Priest, who
would not suffer me to preach publikely any
more. Hereupon the meanes was used to the
Bishop of Durham, Bishop Morton and he pro-
fessed he durst not give me liberty because
Laud had taken notice of me, so I preached up
and down in the country, and at last privately
in Mr. Fenwick's house, and there I stayed till
Mr. Cotton, Mr. Hooker, Ston, Weld went to
New England, and hereupon most of the godly
in England were awakened and intended much
to goe to New England, and I having a call by
diverse freends in New England to come over,
and many in Old England desiring me to goe over
4*
42 MEMOIRS OF
and promising to goe with roe I did hereapon
resolve to goe tbither, especially considering the
season, and thus the Lord blest me in this darke
country and gave me a son called Thomas, Anno
1633 ; my poore wife being in sore extremities
4 dayes by reason she had an unskilful midwife ;
but as the affliction was very bitter, so the Lord
did teach me much by it, and 1 had need of it,
for I began to grow secretly proud and full of sen-
suality delighting my soul in my deare wife
more than in my God, whom I had promised bet-
ter unto, and my spirit grew fierce in some
things, and secretly mindless of the souls of the
people, but the Lord by this affliction of my wife
learnt me to desire to'feare him more and to
keep his dread in my hart; and so seeing I had
bin tossed from the South to the Morth of Eng-
land and now could goe no farther, I then began
to listen to a call to New England.
The reasons, which swayed me to come to N.
E. were many. 1. I saw no call to any other
place in Old England nor way of subsistence in
peace and comfort to. me and my family, 2.
Diverse people in Old England of my dear
freends desired me to goe to N. E. there to live
together, and some went before and writ to me
of providing a place for a company of us, one of
which was John Bridge, and I saw diverse fam-
ilies of my ' xtian freends, who were resolved
^•♦her to goe with me.
THOMAS SHEFARO. 43
3. I saw the Lord departed from England
when Mr. Hooker and Mr. Cotton were gone,
and I saw the harts of most of the godly set and
bent that way, and I did think I should feele ma«
ny miseries if I stayed behind.
4. My judgement was then convinced not
only of the evil of ceremonies, but of mixt com-
munion, and joyning with such in sacraments,
tho, I ever judged it lawfull to joyne with them
in preaching.
5. I saw it my duty to desire the fruition of
all God's ordinances, which I could not enjoy in
Old England.
6. My dear wife did much long to see me
settled there in peace and so put me on to it.
7. Although it was true I should stay and
suffer for Xt. yet I saw no rule for it now the
Lord had opened a doore of escape; otherwise
I did incline much to stay and miSter especially
after our sea stormes.
8. Tho' my ends were mixt and I looked much
to ray own quiet, yet the Lord let me see the
glory of those Liberties in N. England, and
made me purpose, if ever I come over, to live
among God's people as one come out from the
dead, to his praise; tho' since I have scene as
the Lord's goodness, so my own exceeding
weakness to be as good as I thought to have bin,
and although they did desire me to stay in the
44 MEMOIRS OF
North ^nd preach privately yet, 1 . I saw that
this time could not be long without trouble from
King Charles.
2. I saw no reason to spend ray time private-
ly when I might possibly exercise my talent
publikely iaN. E,
3. I did hope my going over might make them
to follow me.
4. I considered how sad a thing it would be
for me to leave my wife and child (if I should
dy in that rude place of the North) where was
nothing but barbarous wickedness generally,
and how sweet it would be to leave them among
God's people tho' poore.
5. My liberty in private wasdayly threatened,
and I thought it wisdom to depart before the
Pursevants came out, for so I might depart with
more peace and lesser trouble and danger to me
and my freezMis, and I knew not whether God
would have me to hazard my person and com-
fort of me and all mine, for a disorderly manner
of preaching privately (as it was reputed) in
those parts, so after I had preached my farewell
sermon at Newcastle I departed from the North
in a ship laden with coles for Ipswich, about the
beginning of June, after J had bin about a year
in the North the Lord having blest some few
sermons and notes to diverse in Newcastle, from
whom I parted filled with their love, and so the
THOMAS SHEFARD. 45
Lord gave us a speedy voyage from thence to
Ipswich in Old England, whether I came in a
disguised manner with my wife and child and
mayd, and stayed awhile at Mr. Russel's house,
another while at Mr. Collins, his house, and then
went down to Essex to the town where I had
preached, viz. Earles-Colne to Mr. Richard
Harlakenden's house where I lived privately
with much love from them all ; as also from Mr.
Joseph Cooke, and also with freends at London
and Northamptonshire. Truly I found this
time of my life wherein I was so tossed up and
downe and had no place of settling, but kept
secret in regard of the Bishops, the most uncom-
fortable and fruitless time to my own soul es-
pecially that ever I had in my life; therefore I
did long to be in N. E. as soon as might be,
and therefore there being diverse godly xtians
resolved to goe toward the latter end of the yeare,
if I would goe; I did therefore resolve to goe
that yeare, the end of the summer I came from
the North; and the time appointed (or the ship
to goe out was about a month or fortnight before
Michaelmas (as they here call it.) The ship
was called the Hope of Ipswich, the master of
it (a very able seaman) was Mr. Gurling, who
professed much love to me, who had got this
ship of 400 tun from the Danes, and as some
report, it was by some fraud; but he denyed it
46 MEMOIRS OF
and being a man very loving and full of fayre
promises of going at the time appointed, and
an able seaman; hence we resolved to adventure
that time tho' dangerous in regard of the ap-
proaching winter. Now here the Lord's won-
derfull terrour and mercy to us did appeare.
For being come to Ipswich with my family at
the time appointed the ship was not ready and
we stayed. 6 or 8 weeks- longer than the time
promised for her going; and so it was very late
in the yeare, and very dangerous to goe to sea,
and indeed if we had gone, doubtless we had all
perished upon the seas, it being so eiitreame
cold and tempestuous winter; but yet we could
not goe back when we had gone so far, and the
Lord saw it good to chastise us for rushing on-
ward too soone, and hazarding ourselves in that
manner^ and I had many feares and much dark-
ness (I rem^ttitier) overspread my soule, doubt-
ing of our way, yet I say we could not goe back
only I learnt from that time never to goe about
a sad businesse in the darke, unless God's call
within as well as that without be very strong
and cleare and comfortable, so that in the year
1634, about the beginning of the winter, we set
saile from Harwich, and having gone some few
leagues on to the sea; the wind stopt us that
night and so we cast anchor in a dangerous
place, and on the morning the wind grew fierce
"^
THOMAS SHEFARD. 47
and rough agaynst us full, and drave us toward
the sands, but the vessel being laden too heavy
at the head would not stir for all that which the
seamen could doe, but drave us full upon the
sands neare Harwich harbour; and the ship did
grate upon the sands, and was in great danger;
but the Lord directed one man to cut some ca-
ble or rope in* the ship and so shee was turned
about and was beaten quite backward toward
Yarmouth, quite out of our way; but while
the ship was in this great danger, a wonderfull
miraculous providence did appear to us, for one
of the seamen, that he might save the vessel
fell in when it was in that danger, and so was
carryed a mile or more from the ship, and given
for dead and gone; the ship was then in such
danger that none could attend to follow him;
and when it was out of the danger it was a very
great hazard to the lives of any that would take
the skiph and seek to find him; yet it please^
the Lord that being discerned afar off floating
upon the waters, 3 of the seamen adventured
out upon the rough waters, and at last about an
houre after he fell into the sea (as we appre-
hended) they came and found him floating upon
the waters, never able to swim, but supported
by a divine hand all this while, when the men
came to him they were glad to find him, but
concluded he was dead, and so got him into the
48 MEMOIRS OP
skiph, and when he was there tumbled him down
as one dead, yet one of them said to the rest let
us use what meanes we can if there be life to
preserve it. And thereupon turned his head
downward for the water to run out, and having
done so, the fellow began to gaspe and breathe,
then they applied other meanes they had ; and
so he began at last to move and then to speake
and by that time he came to ship he was
pretty well and able to walke; and so the Lord
shewed us his great power, whereupon a godly
man in the ship then sayd this man's danger and
deliverance is a type of ours, for he did feare
dangers were neare unto us and that yet the
Lord's power hould be shewn in saving of us,
for so indeed it was; for the wind did drive us
quite backward out of our way and gave us no
place to anchor at until we came unto Yar-
mouth rodes, an open place at sea yet fit for an-
chorage, but otherwise a very dangerous place,
and so we came thither thorow many uncomfort-
ble hazards within 30 hours and cast anchor in
Yarmouth rodes, which when we had done upon
a Saturday morning the Lord sent a most dread-
full, and terrible storm of wind from the West,
so dreadfull that to this day the seamen call it
Windy Saturday ; that it also scattered many
ships in diverse coasts at that time, and diverse
ships were cast away, one among the rest which
THOMAS SBEFARD. 49
was the seaman's ship who came with us from
New Castle was cast away and he and all his
were perished, but when the wind thus arose
the master cast all his anchors, but the storm
was so terrible that the anchors broke and the
ship drave toward the sands where we could not
be cast awaj; whereupon the master cries out
that we were dead men, and thereupon the
whole company goe to prayer, but the vessel
drave so neare to the sands that the master shot
off two pieces of ordnance to the town for heipe
to save the passengers. The town perceived it
and lOOOds came upon the walls of Yarmouth,
and looked upon us, hearing we were New £ns^-
land men, and pittyed much and gave us for
gone, because they saw other ships perishing
neare unto us at that time ; but could not send
any helpe unto us, tho' much mony was offered
by some to hazard themselves for us; so the
master, not knowing what to do, it pleased the
Lord that there was one Mr. Cork a drunken
fellow but no seaman, yet one that had bin at
sea of\en, would come in a humour unto New
England with us; whether it was to see the
country or no I cannot tell, but sure I am God
intended it for good urto us to make him an in-
strument to save all our lives; for he persuaded
the master to cut down his mainemast. The
master was unwilling to it, and besotted, not
5
>^
50 MEMOIRS or
sensible of ours and his own losse. At last this
Cork calls for hatchets, tells the master if joa
be a man save the lives of your passengers, cut
down your mainemast. Hereupon he encoura-
ged all the company, who were forlorne and
hopeless of life, and the seamen presently cut
down the mast aboard, just at that very time
wherein we all gave ourselves for gone to see
neither Old nor New England, nor faces of
freends any more, there being neare upon .200
passengers, and so when the mast was down,
the master had one little anchor left, and cast it
out, but the ship was driven away toward the
sands still, and the seamen came to us and bid
us looke (pointing to the place) where our
graves should shortly be; conceiving also that
the wind had broken off this anchor also; so the
master professed he had done what he could,
and therefore now desired us to goe to prayer,
so Mr. Norton in one place and myself in an-
other part of the ship, he with the passengers
and myself with the mariners above decks, went
to prayer and committed our soules and bodies
unto the Lord that gave them; immediately af-
ter prayer the wind began to abate and the ship
stayed, for the last anchor was not broke (as we
conceived) but only rent up with the wind and
so drave, and was drawn along plowing the
sands with the violence of the wind; which
THOMAS SHfiPARD. 51
abating after prayer (tho' still very terrible) the
ship was stopt just when it was leady to be
swallowed up of the sands, a very little way off
from it; and so we rid it out, yet not without
fear of our lives, tho' the anchor stopt the ship;
because the cable was let out so far that a little
rope held the cable, and the cable, the little an-
chor, and the little anchor the great ship in this
great storme, but when one of the company per-
ceived that we were so strangely preserved, had
these woords, ^HhaX threed we hang by will save
us;" for so we accounted of the rope fastened
to the anchor, in comparison of the fierce storme;
and so indeed it did, the Lord shewing his dread-
ful power towards us, and yet his unspeakable
rich mercy to us, who in depths of mercy heard,
nay helped us, where we could not cry throw
the disconsolate fears we had, out of these
depths of seas and miseries; this d«liTerance was
so great that I then did thinke if ever the Lord
did bring me to shore agayne I would live like
one come and risen from the dead. This is one
of those living mercies the Lord hath shown me,
a mercy to myselfe, to my wife and child then
living, and unto my deare freends then with me
viz. brother Champney, Frost, Goff and diverse
others, most deare saints; and also to all with
me, and how would the name of the Lord suffer-
ed, if we had so perished; that the Lord Jesus
62 MEMOIRS or
should have respect to me so vile and one at
that time full of many temptations and weak-
nesses, amazed much, and deeply afrayd of
God's terrour, yet supported.'
I desire this mercy may be remembered of
my children and their children's children when
I am dead^ and cannot prayse the Lord in the
land of the living any more; and so we contin-
ued that night, many sick, many weake, and
discouraged, many sad harts; yet upon the
Sabbath morning we departed and went out of
the ship; I feare a little too soone for we should
have spent that day in praysing of him, yet we
were afraid of neglecting- a season of providence '
in going out while we had a calm^ and many
fiick folke were unfit for that woorke and had
need of refreshing at shore. So upon the Sab-
bath day morning boats came to our vessel from
the town; and so my deare wife and child went
in the first boat, but here the Lord saw that
these matters were not sufiicient to wash away
my filth and sinfulness and therefore he cast me
into the fire as soon as ever I was upon the sea
in the boat, for there my first borne child very
precious to my soule^ and dearly beloved of me
was smitten with sickness, the Lord sent a
vomiting upon it whereby it grew faint and no-
thing that we could use could stop its vomiting
althio we had many helps at Yarmouth and thia
THOMAS SHEPARO. 53
was a very bitter affliction to me and the Lord
now showed me my weake faith, want offeare,
pride, carnall content, immoderate love of crea-
tures, and of my child especially, and begat in
me some desires and purposes to feare his name;
but yet the Lord would not be intreated for the
life of it and afler a fortnight's sickness at last it
gave up the ghost, when its mother had given it
up to the Lord and was buried at Yarmouth, where
I durst not be present least the Pursevants should
apprehend me and I should be discovered which
was a great affliction and very bitter to me and
my deare wife, and hereby 1 saw the Lord did
come neare to me, and I did verily feare the
Lord would take away my wife also, if not my-
selfe not long afler and these afflictions together
with the Lord's crossing us and being so direct-
ly agaynst our voyage made me secretly willing
to stay and suffer in England and jny hart was
not so much toward New England, yet this sat-
isfied me that seeing there was a dore opened
of escape, why should I suffer, and I considered
how unfit I was to goe to such a good land with
such an unmortified hard darke formall hypo-
criticall hart and therefore no wonder if the
Lord did thus crosse me; and the Lord made
me feare my affliction came in part for running
too far in a way of separation from the Assem-
blies in England, tho' I blesse God I have ever
5*
54 MEMOIRS or
believed there are true churches in many fmr-
ishes in En^and where the Lord sets up able
men and ministers of his gospell; and I have
abhorred to refuse to heare any able minister in
England; so that now having buried my first
borne and being in great sadness and not know*
ing where to goe nor what to doe, the Lord sent
Mr. Roger Harlakenden and my brother Samu-
el Shepard to visit me afler they had heard of
our escape at sea, who much refreshed us and
clave to me in my sorrowes, and being casting
about where to goe and live, Mr. Bridge their
minister in Norwich sent for me to come and
live with him, and being come, one Mrs. Oor-
bett, who lived five miles off Norwich an aged
eminent godly gentlewoman hearing of my com-
ming and that by being with Mr. Bridge mig-ht
hazLrd his liberty by countenancing of me, she
did therefor* freely offer to me a great house of
hers standing empty at a towne called Bastwick,
and there the Lord stird up her hart to shew all
love to me, which did much lighten and sweet-
en my sorrowes, and I saw the Lord Jesus'
care herein to me and saw cause of trusting
him in times of straits, who set me in such a
place, where I lived for half a yeare all the
winter long among and with my friends (Mr,
Harlakenden dwelling with me bearing all the
charge of housekeeping) and far from the no*
THOMAS SHEPARD. 55
tice of my enemies, where we enjoyed sweet
fellowship one with another and also with God,
in a house which was fit to entertayne any prince
for faireness, greatnes and pleasantness. Here
the Lord hid us all the winter long, and when it
w^|s fit to travayle in the Spring we went up to
London, Mr. Harlakenden not forsaking me all
this while, for he was a father and mother to
me, and when we came to London to Mrs.
Sherborne not knowing what to doe nor where
to live privately, the Lord provided a very pri-
vate place for us; where my secofid son Thom-
as, was borne, and none but our freends did
know of it, and so by this meanes my son was
not baptized until we came to New England
the winter following, being borne in London,
Aprill 5, 1635. When we had bin also at
London for a time and began to be known in
the place my wife was sick, the Lord put it into
our harts to remoove to another place in Mr.
Eldred^s house in London, which stood empty
and the very night we were all come away,
there came the Pursevants and others to search
ader us, but the Lord delivered us out of their
hands, and so when the Lord had recovered
my wife, we began to prepare for a removal over
agayne to New England. And the Lord
seemed to make our way playne.
1. Because I had no other call to any place
in England.
56 MEMOIRS OF
2. Many more of Giod's people resolved to
goe with me, as Mr. Roger Harlakenden aad
Mr. Champney, &c. ■
3. The Lord saw our unfitness and the unfit-
ness of our going the yeare before, and there-
fore giving us good freeness to accompany jj%
and good company in the ship we set forvrara
about the 10 of August 1635, with myselfe,
wife and my little son Thomas and other pre-
cious freends, having tasted much of God's
mercy in England and lamenting the losse oC
our native country when we tooke our last view
of it. In our voyage upon the sea the Lord was
very tender of me and kept me from violence of
the sea sickness. In our comming we were re-
freshed with the society of Mr. Wilson, Mr.
Jones by their fayth and prayers and preaching.
The ship we came in was very rotten and unfit
for such a voy«ge, and therefore the first storme
we had, we had a very great leake, which did
much apall and aflTect us; yet the Lord discov-
ered it unto us when we were thinking of re-
turning back agayne; and much comforted our
harts. We had many storms, in one of which
my deare wife tooke such a cold and got such
weakness as that shee fell into a consumption ,
of which shee aflerward dyed; and also the
Lord preserved her with the child in her armes
from eminent and apparent death, for by the
*J
TB0HA8 SHEPARD. 67
ishaking of tho ship in a violent storme her head
waa pitcht agaynst an iron bolt and the Lord
miraculously preserved the child and recovered
iny wife: This was a great affliction to me, and
was a cause of many sad thoughts in the ship
how to behave myselfe when I came to New
England. My resolutions I have written down
in my little booke; and so the I^rd after many
sad storms and wearisome days and many
longings to see the shore, the Lord brought us
to the sight of it upon Oct. 2, Anno 1635 and
upon Oct. the 3d. we arrived with my wife^
child, brother Samuel, Mr. Harlakenden, Mr.
Cooke, &c., at Boston with rejoicing in our
God after a longsome voyage, my deare wive^s
great desire being now fulfilled, which was to
leave me in safety from the hand of my enemies
and among God's people, and also the child
under God's precious ordinances.
Now when we came upon shore we were
kindly saluted and entertained by many freends
and were the first 3 dayes in the house of Mr.
Coddington being treasurer at that time, and
that with much love.
When we had been here two dayes, upon Mun-
day Oct. 5, we came (being sect for by freends
at Newtown) to them to my brother Mr. Ston's
house; and that congregation being upon their
remoeval to Hartford at Connecticut^ myselfe
58 MEMOIRS OF
and those that came with me found many houses
empty and many persons willing to sell^ and here
our company bought off their houses to dwell
in until we should see another place fit to re-
move unto, but having bin here some time di-
verse of our brethren did desire to sit still and
not to remoove farther, partly because of the
fellowship of the churches, partly because they
thought their lives were short and remoovals to
near plantations full of troubles, partly because
they found sufficient for themselves and their
company. Hereupon there was a purpose to
enter into church fellowship, which we did the
yeare after about the end of the winter; a fort*
night after which my deare wife Margaret
dyed, being first received into church fellowship,
which as she much longed for so the Lord did
so sweeten it unto her, that she was hereby
exceedingly cheered and comforted with the
6ense«of God's love, which continued until her
last gaspe.
No sooner were we thus set down and en-
tered into church fellowship; but the Lord ex-
ercised us and the whole country with the
opinions of Familists; begun by Mrs. Hutchin-
son, raised up to a great height by Mr. Vane,
too suddenly chosen governour and maintained
too obscurely by Mr. Cotton, and propagated
*-^o boldly by the members of Boston, and some
r,'
-V
THOMAS 8H£PARD. 59
in other churches by meftnes of which divisions
by those opinions, the ancient received truth
came to be darkened, God's name to be bias*
phemed, the churche's glory diminished, many
godly greeved, many wretches hardened, de-
ceiving and being deceived, growing woorse
and woorse; the principall opinion and seed of
all the rest was this, viz., that a Xtian should
not take any evidence of God's special grace
and love towards him by the sight of any graces
or cooditionall evangelicall promises to fayth
or sanctification in way of ratiocination ; for
this was evidence and so a way of woorks, but
it must be without the sight of afcy grace, faith,
holiness or special change in himselfe by imme-
diate revelation and because that the whole
scripture do give such cleare, plaine and nota*
ble evidences of favour to persons called and
sanctified; hence they said that a second evi-
dence might be taken from hence but no first
evidence; but from hence it arose that as all
error is fruitfull, so this opinion did gender
above a hundred monstrous opinions in the
country ; which the elders perceiving having
used all private brotherly meanes with Mr. Cot*
ton first, and yet no healing, hereupon they
publikely preached both against opinions pub-
likely and privately maintayned; and I account
it no small mercy to myselfe that the Lord kept
60 MSMoms or
>.me from that contagios «nd gave me any hart
or light to see thorow those devises of men's
he^ds; altho I found it a most uncomfortahle
time to live in contention^ and the Lord was
graciously pleased by giving witnesse agaynsi
them to keepe his poore. church spotless and
cleare from them. This division in the church
began to trouble the commonwealth. Mr.
Wheelwright, a man of ahold and stiff conceipt
of his own w^orth and light preached (as the
Court judged) a seditious sermon, stirring up
all sorts agaynat those that preached a cove-
nant of woorks!. meaning all the Elders in the
country, that {peached justification by fayth and
assurance of it^by sight of fayth, and sanctifica'<-
tion, being enabled thereto by the spirit: The
troubles thus increasing and all meanes used
for crushing .and curing these sorts a synod was
thought of and called, from the example. Acts
15, wherein by the helpe of all the Elders
joyned together, those errours thorowjthe grace
and power of xt. were discovered, the defenders
of them convinced and ashamed, the truth stab-
lished^ and the consciences of the saynts set-
tled; there being a most wonderful presence of
Xt's spirit in that assembly held at Cambridge
An. 1637, about August and ^ntinued a month
together in publike agitations; for the issue of
this synod was this.
THOMAS 8HEPARD. 61
1. The Pekoat Indiati* were fully discomfited,
for as the opinions arose, wars did arise, and
when these began to be crusbt by the ministry
of the Elders and by opposing Mr. Vane and
casting him and others from being magistrates
y« enemies began to be crusht and were per-
fectly subdued by the end of the synod.
2. The magistrates tooke counsel and ex-
iled Mr. Wheelright, Mrs. Hutchinson and
diverse Ilanders, whom the Lord did strangely
discover, giving most of them over to all man-
ner of filthy opinions, until many that held with
them before were ashamed of them; and so the
Lord within one yeare wrought a great change
among us.
At this time I cannot omit the goodness of
God as to myselfe, so to all the country in de-
livering us from the Pekoat furies. These In-
dians were the stoutest, proudest and most suc-
cessful! in their wars of all the Indians. Their
cheef Sachem wasSassakus, a proud, cruel and
unhappy and headstrong prince, who not wil-
ling to be guided by the persuasions of his fel-
low, an aged Sachem Monianattuck, nor fear-
ing the revenge of the English, having first
suckt the blood of Captain Ston and Mr. Oldam
and found it so sweet, and his proceedings for
one whole winter so successfull, that having be-
.^ sieged and killed about four men that kept
6
62 MEMOIRS OF
Seabrook fort, he adventured to fall upon the
English in the river at Wethersfield where he
slew 9 or ten men, women and children at un-
awares and tooke two maids prisoners, carrying
them away captive to the Pekoat country.
Hereupon those upon the river first gathered
about seventy men and sent them into the Pe-
koat country, to make that the seat of war, and
to revenge the death of those innocents, whom
they barbarously and most unnaturally slew;
these men marched two days and nights from
the w«iy of the Naraganset unto Pekoat. Be-
ing guided by those Indians, then the ancient
enemies of the Pekoats, they intended to as-
sault Sasukus fort, but falling short of it the
second night the Providence "of God guided
them to another nearer, full of stout men and
there brot soldiers, being as it were coopt up
there, to the number of three or four hundred
in all for the divine slaughter by the hand of the
English. These therefore being all night mak-
ing merry and singing the death of the English
the next day. Toward breake of the day being
very heavy with sleep the English drew neare
within the sight of the fort, very weary with
travayle and want of sleepe, at which time five
hundred Naragansets fled for feare and only
two of the company stood to it to conduct them
to the fort and ihe doors and entrances thereof. i.
THOMAS SHEPARD. 63
The English being come to it awakened the
fort with a peale of muskets, directed into the
midst of their wigwams, and afler this, some un-
dertaking to compasse the fort without, some*
adventured into the fort upon the very faces of
the enemy standing ready with their arrows
ready bent to shoot whoever should adventure,
but the English casting by their peeces, took
their swords in their hands (the Lord doubling
their strength and courage) and fell upon the
Indians, where a hot fight continued about the
space of an houre, at last by the dire ctioMpf one
Captayne Mason their wigwams were set on
fire as being dry and contiguous one to another
was right dreadfull to the Indians, some burning,
some bleeding to death by the sword, some re-
sisting till they were cut off, some flying were
beat down by the men without, until the Lord
had utterly consumed the whole company ex-
cept four or five girles they tooke prisoners, and
dealt with them at Seabrooke as they dealt with
ours at Wethersfield, and tis verily thought
scarce one man escaped unless one or two to
carry foorth ty^dings of the lamentable end of
their fellowes; and of the English not one man
was killed, but one by the musket of an Eng-
lishman (as was conceived), some were wounded
much, but all recovered and restored agayne.
Thus the Lord having delivered the country
64 MEMOIRS OF
from war with Indiana and Familists (who arose
and fell together) he was pleased to direct the
Jiartsof.the magistrates (then keeping Court
Ordinarily in our town because of their stirs at
Boston) to thinke of erecting a Schoole or Colt-
ledge and that speedily to be a nursery of knowl-
edge in these deserts and supply for posterity^
and because this towne (then called Newtowne)
was hereto [by] God's great care and good-
ness kept spotless from the contagion of the
opinions^ therefore at the desire of some of our
townH^ Deputies of the Court having got Mr.
Eaton to attend the Schoole, the Court for that
and sundry other reasons determined to erect the
Colledge here, which was no sooner done but
the cheefe of the magistrates and Elders sent to
England to desire helpe to forward this woorke,
but they all neglecting us (in a manner) the Lord
put it into the hart of one Mr. Harvard, who dyed
woorth £1600 to give haife his estate to the
erecting of the schoole. This man was a schol-
lar and pious in his life and enlarged toward the
country and the good of it in life and death, but
no sooner was this given but Mr. Eaton (pro-
fessing valiantly yet falsely and most deceitful-
ly the feare of God) did lavish out a great part
of it, and being for his cruelty to his schoUers,
especially to one Biscoe and as also for some
other wantonness in life not so notoriously known
THOMAS SHEPARD. 65
I driven the country; the Lord about a yeare
I after, graciously made up the breach by one
I Mr. Dunstar, a man pious, painfull and fit to
teach and very fit to lay the foundations of the
[^ domesticall affairs of the Colledge; whom God
t hath much honoured and blessed.
The sin of Mr. Eaton was at first not so
clearly discerned by me, yet afler more full
information I saw his sin great and my igno-
rance and want of wisdom and watchfulness over
[ him very great, for which I desire to mourn all
I my life and for the breach of his family .^^
But thus the Lord hath bin very good unto
me, in planting the place I lived in with such a
mercy to myselfe, such a blessing to my chil-
dren and the country, such an opportunity of
i doing good to many by doing good to students,
as the schoole is.
Afler this I fell sick afler Mr. Harlakenden's
death, my most deare freend, and most precious
servant of Jesus xt.: and when I wts very
low and my blood much corrupted, the Lord re-
' vived me and afler that tooke pleasure in me to
bless my labours that I was not altogether use-
less nor fruitless.
And not only to speake by me to his people
but likewise to print my notes upon the nine
principles I intended to proceed on with in York-
shire, but never intended them or imagined
6*
66 MEMOIRS OP
they should be for the presse; yet six of them
being finished in Old England and printed and
the other 3 desired, I finished (the Lord help-
ing) those at Cambridge and so sent them to
£ng1and, where they also are printed, which I
do not glory in (for I know my weakness) that
my name is up by this meanes but that the Lord
may be pleased to do some good by them there
in my absence, for I. have seene the Lord
making improvement of my weak abilities as
far as they could reach, and of myselfe to the
utmol^ which I desire to blesse his name for-
ever for.
Oct. 1637. The year« after those wars in the
country God having taken away my first wife,
the Lord gave me a second, the eldest daugh-
ter of Mr. Hooker, a blessed store; and the
Lord hath made her a great blessing to me to
carry on matters in the family with much care
and wisdom and to seeke the Lord God of her
father. '
The first child I had by her (being a son)
dyed. The second (whom the Lord, I blesse,
hath hitherto spared) viz. my little Samuel, ia
yet living. The third son viz. my son John,
afler 16 weeks, departed on the Sabbath day
morning, a day of rest to the bosom of rest to
him who gave it, which was no small afHiction
and heart-breaking to me that I should provoke
V-
THOMAS SHEPARD. 67
the Lord to strike at mjr innocent children for
my sake.
The Lord thus afflicting jet continued peace
to the country, that amazing mercy when all
[England and Europe are in a flame the Lord
hath set me and my children aside from the
flames of the fires in Yorkshire and Northum-
berland, whence if we had not bin delivered, I
had bin in great afflictions and temptations, very
weake and unfit to be tossed up and downe and
to brave violent persecution; the Lord there-
fore hath shewed his tenderness to me a«d mine
in carrying me to a land of peace, tho' a place
of tryali; where the Lord hath made the savage
Indians, who conspired the death of all the
[English by Miantinomo upon a sudden if Uncas
could have bin cut off first, who stood in their
Way and determined an open war upon us by
the privy suggestions of Neutrall English from
the Hand; to seeke for peace from us upon our
own termes without blood shed, Aug. 26, 1645.
But the Lord hath not bin woont to let me
live long without some affliction or other, yet
ever mixt with some mercy, and therefore April
the 2d 1 G46, as he gave me another son, John,
<-80 he tooke • away my most deare, precious,
meeke and loving wife, having left behind her
two hopefull branches very dear children, Sam-
uel and John. This affliction was very heavy
tS MEMOIRS OF
to me, for in it the Lofd seemed to withdraw
his tender care for me and mine, which he gra^
ciously manifested by my deare wife, also re-
fused to hear prayer when I did thinke he would
have hearkened and let me see his bewty in the
land of the living in restoring of her to health
agayne; also taking her away in the prime time
of her life, when shee might have lived to have
glorified the Lord long, also in threatening me
to proceed in rooting out my family, and that
he would not stop having begun here as in Ely
for not being zealous enough agaynst the sins
of his son, and I saw that if I had profited by
former afflictions of this nature, I should not
have had this scourge; but I am the Lord's^
and he may doe with me what he will; he did
teach me to prize a little grace gained by a
crosse as a sufficient recompence for all out-
ward losses, but this losse was very great; shee
was a woman of incomparable meekness of spir-
it towafds myselfe especially, and very loving;
of great prudence to take care for and order my
family affayres being neither too lavish nor sor-
did in any thing so that I knew not what was
under her hands: She had an excellency to
reproove for sin and discerne the evills of men.
She loved God's people dearly and studious to
profit by their fellowship and therefore loved
their company. She loved God's word exceed-
THOMAS SHEPARD. 69
ingly, and hence was gM shee could read my
notes, which she had to muse on every weeke.
She had a spirit of prayer beyond ordinary of
her time and experience. She was fit to dy
long before she did dy, even after the death of
her first born, which was a great affliction to
her, but her woorke not being* done then, she
lived almost 9 yeares with me and was the com-
fort of my life to me and the last sacrament be-
fore her lying in, seemed to be full of Christ and
thereby fitted for heaven. Shee did oil say
shee should not outlive this child; and when
her fever first began (by taking some cold) shee
told me soe that we should love exceedingly
together because we should not live long to-
gether. Her paine tooke away her sleepe,
want of sleepe wrought much distemper in her
head and filled it with fantasies and distractions,
but without raging. The night before shee
dyed, shee had about 6 hours unquiet sleepe,
but that so cooled and settled her head, that
when she knew none else so as to speake to
them, yet she knew Jesus Xt. and could speake
to him and therefore as soone as she awakened
out of sleepe shee brake out into a most heav-
enly hart-breaking prayer after Xt. her deare
Redeemer for the spirit of life; and so continued
praying until the last hour of her death, " Lord
tho' I [am] unworthy. Lord, one woord, one
70 MEMOIRS OF
woord, &c." and so .gave up the ghost: thus
God hath visited and scourged me for my sins
and sought to weane we from this woorld, but
I have ever found it a difficult thing to profit
even but a little by the sorest and sharpest
afflictions.
The writer pauses in his account of himself
within a very few years of his death. The last
date in the foregoing pages is that of the birth
of his son, April 2d, 1646, and he died Aug. 25,
1 649 : So that only three years at most inter-
vened between the finishing of his biography,
and his death. He was however married the
third time, 1647, to Margaret Boradill. Their
son Jeremiah was aflerward minister of Lynn.^
It will be proper to give in this connexion the
remaining contents of the little Book.
ANNO 1639,
THE GOOD THINGS I HATE RECEIVED OF THE LORD.
1 . He is the God of my being, who might
have made me a woorme,
2. He is the God of my life and length of
dayes, with health, which I have enjoyed long.
3. He is the God who tooke me up, when my
1 Farmer.
THOMAS SBEPARD. 71
own mother dyed, who lnved me, and when my
stepmother cared not for me, and when my father
also dyed, and forsooke me when I was young
and little, and could not take care for myselfe.
4. He is the God, that brought me out of
Egypt, that prophane and wicked town where
I was borne and bred under the care of one of
my own brethren and that gave me time and
will to desire learning, where if I had lived, I
had sinned and bin forever damned.
5. He is the God that brought me, the last and
most despised of my father's house to the Univer-
sity of Cambridge and strangely made way for
me there, after many prayers for it and promises
(when I was young) to be the Lord's, if he
should do that forme; tho' it were by spending
all the portion my father lefl me, which accord-
ingly was done.
6. He is the God that began to strive with
me there as soone almost as I came thither, by
Mr. Dickinson and Dr. Chadderton's sarmons,
and although I oft resisted the Lord and neg-
lected secret prayer, and care of his ways a
long time and followed my bowling loose com-
pany until I came to that height of pride that
for their sakes I was once or twice dead drunke
and lived in speculative wantonness (yet still
refrayned from grosse acts of sin which some
of my own familiars were to their horrour and
72 MEMOIRS OF
shame overtaken with) yet at this very time of
being woorst and under wrath the Lord dealt
most graciously with me, and made my last act
of drunkenness the beginning of more serious
thoughts of making my peace with God.
7. He is the God that when I was thus in this
place made me acquainted with many godly
freends, whose lives and examples were or
might have bin, patterns to me. Mr. Ston, Mr.
Simonds, whose speeches God alway blest to
me especially when they described God's wrath
by the 6re side, and the intollerable torment of
the fire, and when in walking with one I heard
him set out men's misery that all they did was
sin without Xt., and he blessed also their coun-
sel to me to read the practise of xtianity, which
did much affect me, and to heare Dr. Preston.
8. It is the God that sent I thinke the best
ministers in the woorld to call me. Dr. Preston,
and Mr. Goodwin. The words of the first at
the firat sermon he made when he came into the
College as Master of it, and diverse that he
preached at that time, did open my hart and
convince me of my unbeleefe, and of a total
emptiness, of all enmity agaynst all good; and
the Lord made me honour him highly and love
him dearly although many godly men spake
agaynst him.
9. He is the €rod that set me not only to at-
THOMAS BHEFARD. 73
tend upon the woord publikely, but to privat0
meditations and prayer, in which I seldom
sought but found the Lord taking me out of the
woorld when .I was scoffed at for what I did,
and I so found him in meditation that I was
constrained to carry my booke into the feelds to
Wright down what God
10. In these ordinances he is the God that
convinced me of my guilt, filth of sin, self seek-
ing and love of honour of men in all I did, and
humbled me under both so as to set a high-
er price on Xt. and grace, and to loath myselfe
the more, and so I was eased of a woorld of dis-
couragement. He also shewed me the worth
of xt. and made my soul satisfied with him and
cleave to him, because God had made him
righteousness, 1 Cor. 1:3. and here also re-
vealed his free justification and gave me sup-
port and rest upon and in his promises made to
them that receive him as Lord and king, which
I found my hart unwilling to love; which was
the ground or rather occasion of many tempta-
tions of Atheisme, Judaisme, Familisme, Pope-
ry, despaire as having sinned the unpardonable
sin; but yet the Lord at last made me yield up
myselfe to his condemniiig will as good, which
gave me great peace, quietness, thorow the
blood and pitty of Xt. I have met with all
kinds of temptations, but afiter my conversion
7
74 VEMOIRS OF
was never tempted to Arminianisme, my own ex-
perience so sensibly confuting the freedom of
will.
11. He is the God which melted my hart after
a relapse from the glorious condition I had in
Cambridge, by taking a journey into the coun-
try with a carnal professor, and this the Lord
did when I never sought nor regarded him.
12. He is the God that made me a poore
meanes of scattering the knowledge of xt. and
setting up days of fasting and holy conference
and conscientious Sabbath keeping. I was
weake every way and young among the schol-
lars, where I lived and to study what to do for
the Lord.
13. He is the God that carry ed me into Es-
sex from Cambridge and gave me the most
sweet society of so many godly ministers, as Mr.
Hooker, and Mr. Wells, and Mr. Wharton,
Mr. Bedell, and Mr. Barrowes, &c., although
I could do no good among them.
14. He is the God that sent me by all these
ministers to obey the voice of God and the call
of the people of Earles-Colne, a most prophane
place, where the Lord blessed my poore labours
to Mr. Harlakenden and his family, and to many
others in the town and country and how the
Lord- kept me from troubles 3 yeares and a
halfe until the Bishop Laud put me to silence
^
THOMAS SHEPARD. 75
and would not let me live in the town, and this
he did, when I looked to be made a shame and
confusion to all.
Tht following is a Specimen of the Author's Book-keeping,
John Bridge hath £8 of what I am to receive from my
brother
Received of Giles Archer £54 the other shilling was not
in his booke
Received of him of Towcester 50^. at one time and dOs,
at another time, in all £4,
My brother Samuel owes me for the house £83
and I lent him - • -* - - 10
So that in all tis £93
I received from my brother Samuel
1 . from himselfe from the ship . . - £5
2. By Mr. Winthrop ... - 20
3. He paid to' Mr. Hooker for me in lieu of
the house -.----.- 65
£10 of which £65 was borrowed of me so that
partly to myselfe and partly to Mr. Hooker,
my brother hath payd — to Mr. Hooker 55
to myselfe --_-.- 25
So that I have received in all for him for the
payment of his house .... 80
So that he now owes me - - -13
To my brother Davenport for taking in the
meadow in long march - - - - 117
To Mr. Andrews for rale - - - - 2
To John Bridge - - - - 2
To Mr. Andrews - - £19 or 20
76
MEMOIRS OF
Delivered to Mt, Bnckly
To mj brother Samuel - . -
out of it - - - - -
To Mr. Buekly again - - -
In all
My brother Sam paid to Mr. Hooker
I have paid to Mr. Buckly for him -
So that there is not paid
10
24
15
25
65
25
90
To reed
£9a
1 rec'd
5
2 rec'd
20
3 rec'd
65
Do. £3
Per. meadow 117
For rates to Andover 2
To John Bridge 2
Sum
£90
£6 3 7
Paid also to Mr. Andrews
for his house
19
£25 3 7
Lent to my brother Town £2
Lent to Ministers for
Farneside 3
Brother Champney hath
of John Birchenson
his money 2
To John Trumble for carriage
due in Mr. Goodwin's books 61^.
to him for fetching Mr. Harryer 4
to him for goodman Orts I 4
«.ll 4
I
i
THOMAS SHfiPARD. 77
Reckonings between Robert and I
£ 1. d«
All reckonings being made even I paid him 5 17 7
Of his year's wages, which came to £7
so that there remains to be paid - - 12 5
M ay\, 164«.
1 paid to Robert Latham for his second yearns service
upon Nov. 12, 1646, eight pound, of which he received
JS3 in money and iC5 of Mr. Glover of Dorchester.
There remayns due to Robert £15 5 because he paid
«3 to one for me.
Also I am to remembef him for his time from Michel-
mas to Nov. 9, which he left to me to give him any thing
or nothing, for he was one week with me and had his
boArd freely.
1 left to pay for nay leg a lid having given, him «2 3
for part of them.
The MS. also contains the following para-
graph^ by a modern hand.
^ In another Manuscript of Mr. Shepards,
there is this passage — " Dec. 16, 1630, I was
inhibited from preaching in the Diocess of
London by Dr. Laud, Bishop of that Diocess.
As soon as I came in the morning about 8 of
the clock, falling into a fit of rage he asked me
what degree I had taken in the University. I
answered, I was Master of Arts. He asked
me of what CoUedge ? I answered of Emanuel.
He asked me how long I had lived in his Dio-
7*
7S MEMOIRS O^
cess ? I answered 3 years and upwards. He
asked who maintained me all this while, charg-
ing me to deal plainly with him, adding withal
that he had been more cheated and equivocated
with by some of my malignant faction than ever
man was by Jesuit. At the speaking of which
words he looked as thoogh blood would have
gushed out of his face, and did shake as if he
bad been haunted with an ague fit, — ^to my ap-
prehension^ by reason of his extreme malice
and secret venome. I desired him to excuse
me. He fell then to threaten me and withal to
bitter railing, calling me all to nought, saying
— " You prating coxcomb, do you think all the
learning is in your brain?" He pronounced
his sentence thus. I charge you that you
neither preach, read, marry, bury, or exercise
any ministerial functions in any part of my
Diocess; for if you do, and I hear of it, I'll be
upon your back and follow you wherever you
go, in any part of this kingdom, and so everlast-
ingly disenable you. I besought him not to
deal so in behalf of a pooretown, — here he stopt
me in what I was going to say, — " a poor town!
You fihye made a company of seditious factious
bedlams. And what do you prate to me of a
poor town? " I prayed him to suffer me to cate-
chise on the Sabbath days, in the afternoom He
replied, " spare your breath, I'll have no such
THOMAS BHEPARD. 79
fellows prate in my Diocegs. Get you gone!
And make your complaints to whom you will! "
So away I went — and blessed be God that I
may go to him."
PRIVATE MEDITATION.
I seeke not the Lord in prayer till I find him
h. 1. I manifest contempt of xt., can live
without him
2. contempt of his
3. Forsake Xt., who lores my company and
is angry with me for not keeping it.
2. Then I goe from prayer and follow my
calling but not for the Lord, am not holy in all
manner of conversation, and hence I loose what
I got in prayer, nay forget what I gained and
80 make no progresse in a xtian course, aud so
either there is no life of Xt. which is most sad,
or if there be any I crucify it and disfigure it
and put it to open shame, which is most sad
also.
3. I maintayne me a will and firme resolu-
tion, when I see to avoyd those practises. Re-
member my soule to wait all the day long upon
him to plant it in thee, for my soyle will not bear
it nor bring it foorth.
4. I would faine have notice of a worke of
grace in my hart that so I might be comforted
in the midirt of my sins, which I am not resolved
to leave.
80 MEHOIRB OF
APRIL 4, 1639.
PREPARATION FOR A FAST.
May not I be the cause of the churches' sor-
rowes, which are renewed upon us, for what
have the sheepe done?
For 1 . My hart lying long out from the Lord
1 . sent a terrible storme at sea to awaken me,
and the deliverance from it was so sweet that I
could not but thinke my life should afler that be
only heavenly, as being called from an apparent
death to live a new life.
2. Immediately upon this my child was taken
from me, my first borne, which made me re-
member how bitter it was to crosse the Lord's
love.
3. Set my face towards New England; when
considering the liberties of God's house I re-
solved and thought it fit to be wholly for the
Lord in all manner of holiness at bed and
board.
4. Then the Lord tooke my deare wife firom
me, and this made me resolve to delyght no
more in creatures, but in the Lord to seeke
him.
5. Then the Lord threatened blindness to my
child, and this made God's will afilicting ^weet to
me, but much more commanding and promising
that I would do his will and leave those things
THOMAS BHifiPABD. 81
to hikttself, but oh how is my gold become dim
tixkd how little have f answered the Lord, con-
sidering also my ship resolutions, which I have
writ down. I have wanted both remembrance,
hart, strength, or will to do any of these things,
and therefore have not cause to blame the Lord,
for he hath persuaded my hart to this^ but my
own concupiscence and vile sins, which. Lord
that I may moarn ibr, that thou mayst restore
comforts to me. Apostacy from God is griev-
ous, tbo' but in a little degree; to serve Satan
without promise, to forsake the Lord's promise.
What eviH have I fonnd in the Lord's? This
brings more disgrace upon the Lord than if
there never had bin any coming to him. This
is a sin against more love Lord might never
have drawn.
% The people being committed to me 1. not
pittyed some, S. nor prayed for, 3. nor visited,
4. nor have I shewn much love unto.
3. The family I have not edifyed, nor in-
structed, nor taken all occasions of speech with
them.
4. The gospel I have preached 1. not scene
in the glory, S. not beleeved, 3. not affected at,
4. not seeking to xt. for supply, that all has bin
dead woorke, and fruit of pride.
5. Walking dayly without that approving my-
selfe unto him and his, tho' I do his woorke yet
82 MEMOIRS OF
I do not mind him in it, his command and his
presence — ^nor yet any endeavour to grow some-*
what every day.
b. My not lamenting the falls of professors
and condition of the country, who are not in-
deed the glory of God in the woorld nor the holy
people.
Is it not hence
1. That many pillars in this church have
fallen, as if the Lord would not hetrust such
precious vessels to my care, and hath not the
sorrow lyen upon me.
2. h. universal mortality, when Hezekiah's
hart^as lifted up, then wrath cam^ not only on
him hut on all the rest.
3. h. I have had this long sickness as if the
Lord would delight no more in me to use. me.
O my God, who shall be like to thee in par-
doning and subduing mine iniquities.
This is all of Mr. Shepard^s writing which is
legible in the MS. There are a few pages by
another hand, but of these the following only is
intelligible:
W° a soul may know he shall be able to hold
out in time of try all:
1 . W° his soul is in fear he shall be not able
to hold out but shall fail the L^ in time of try all,
and is brought tharby to hang on God's naked
marcy to uphold him, andpris that marcy.
THOMAS 8HEPARD. 83
2. He must then beleeve if the inioyment of
that marcy be good for him, or the taking away
of such a comfort from him or deliverance from
an affliction be best for him the L'^ will undoubt-
edly give it or withhold it, and this the soul is
bound to beleeve and heareby to perswad his
hart he shall be inabled to answer the L'^'s ex-
specktatione
2 Cor. 12: 10.
It would seem that this was written by way
of meditation upon certain passages in Mr.
Shepard's life.
The following are some of the particulars of
Mr. Shepard's death. " Returning home from
a council at Rowly, he fell into a quinsie with
a symptomatica! fever, which suddenly stopped
a silver trumpet^ from whence the people of God
had often heard the joyful sound. Among other
passages uttered by him when he lay a dying,
he addressed those that were about him with
these words: ' Oh love the Lord Jesv^ very much:
that little part I have in him is no small comfort
to me nmo.^^ " He said to the young ministers
around him, * That their work was great, and
called for great seriousness^^ and mentioned
to them three things concerning himself: That
1 Cotton Mather, Book lU. Chap V. Magnalia.
I
84 MKMOIRS OF
the study ofevtry Sermon cost him tears: ' ^ Thai
before he preached any Sermon he got good by it
himself : '~ and ^ That he always went into the
ptdpit as if he were to give up his account to his
Master. ^^
He left three sons, viz. Thomas, Pastor of
the first Church in Charlestown, Jeremiah,
Minister of Lynn, and Samuel, who also entered
the Ministry hut died at an early age.^
The following notices of Shepard are found
in various cotemporary authors.
One writer calls him, ^ That gratious, sweete
Heavenly minded and soule-ravishing Minis-
ter, Mr. Thomas Shepheardy in] whose soule
the Lord shed ahroad his love so abundantly,
that thousands of souls have cause to blesse
God for him, even at this very day, who are
the scale of his ministrey, and hee a man of a
thousand, indued with abundance of true sa-
ving knowledge for himselfe and others, yet
his naturall parts were weake, but spent to the
full.' 3
1 Historical Colieclions, Vol. VII. First Series, p. 44.
2 Historical Collections, Vol. VI. p. 604. Second Series.
' Wonder Working Providence of Zion's Saviour, p. 77.
THOMAS SHEPARD. 85
•FoSKATION OF THE OhURCH AT CAMBRIDGE AND IN-
TRODUCTION OF Mr. Shepard to the Pastoral
Office.
^ Mr. Shepherd a godly minister came lately
out of England, and diverse other good Chris-
tians intending to raise a chh. Body came and
acquainted y* magistrates herewith who gave
their approbation. They also sent to all the
neighbouring Chhs. for the Elders to give yr as-
sistance att a certain day att Newtown, (Cam-
bridge) when yy should constitute this Body;
and accordingly att this day there met a great
assembly when y® Proceeding was as followeth.
^ Mr. Shepherd and two others (who hereafler
to be chosen to office) Sat together in y® Elders
seat: when y© Elder of them began with Prayer.
After this, Mr. Shepherd prayed, with deep
confession of Sin, and Exercised out of Eph. V.
that he might make it to himself a holy, ^c.
and also opened y» cause of y® Meeting, ^c.
Then y® Elder desired to know of y« Chh. as-
sembled, what number were needful to make a
Chh., and how they ought to proceed in this
action. Whereupon some of y^ Ancient Minis-
ters conferring severally together made answer,
That y® Scripture did not set down any certain
Tule for y® number. Three they thought were
too few, because by Matt. 18^ an appeal was
8
86 MEMOIRS O^
allowed to be made from three; But that seven
might be a fitt number. And for their proceed-
ing they advised that such as were to join should
make Confession of their faith, and declare
what worke of grace the Lord had wrought in
them. Which accordingly they did, Mr. Shep-
herd first: then 4 others: then y® Elder, and one
who was to be a Deacon (who had also prayed)
and another member. Then y® Covenant was
read, and they all gave a solemn assent to it.
Then y« Elder desired of y^ Churches, that if
they did approve them to be a Church, they
would give them y® right hand of Fellowship.
Whereupon Mr. Cotton (upon Short Speech
with some others near him) in y^ name of the
Churches gave his hand to the Elder, with a
Short Speech of their assent, and desired y*
peace of the Lord Jesus to be with them. —
Then Mr. Shepherd made an Exhortation to y*
rest of this Body about y® nature of their Cove-
nant and to stand firm to it, and commended to
y® Lord in a most heavenly Prayer. — Then y*
Elder told the assembly that they were intended
to choose Mr. Shepherd for their Pastor, (by
y® name of y - Brother who Exercised) and de-
sired the Churches that if they had any thing to
Except against him they would impart it before
y® day of Ordination. Then he gavey® churches
THOMAS SHEFARD. 87
hands, for their assistance, and so left them to
y« Lord.' '
The following Letters are copied from the Original
MSS. in the possession of the ^' Historical Society/' and
are a great curiosity. Mr. Shepard was on the Council
called to lay the foundation of Mr. Richard Mather's
Church in Dorchester, but was not satisfied with the
evidence given by three individuals of being suitable per-
sons to found a Church. Upon his return to Cambridge
he wrote the following letter to Mr. Mather, assigning
his reasons for the bold and faithful stand whicli he took
before the Council. It is well worthy of perusal by those
who are in like manner called upon to lay the founda-
tion of Churches.
[superscription.]
To his loving friend and brother^ Mr, Mad-
der^s, at Dorchester be these dd,
Deare brother,
As it was a sad thing to us to defer the uniting
of your people together, so it would add affliction
to my sorrow, if that yourselfe, (whom the Lord
hath abundantly qualified and fitted for himselfe,)
and church and people should take to hart too
1 This is copied frum the Records of the First Church in Cam-
bridge, being a letter from Rev. Dr. Stiles, of Newport, 1772, to Rev.
Dr. Appleton, then Pastor, in ori!er to aupp y the place of the ac-
count of the formation of the Church, supposed to be contained in
the first Vol. of Records unfortunately 1 st. Dr. Stiies copies from
the " MS. of Gov. Winthrop's Journal." See Winthrop's Journal,
1635, Mj. 13.
88 MEMOIRS OF
much so solemn a demurre and stop to the pro-,
ceedings of those that were to be united to you;
for what would this be but a privy quarrelling at
the wise providence of our God, that knows what
physick is best to be given, and a grooving in-
deed for that good hand of God, in which we
ought abundantly to rejoice, for I am confident
of it that there is nothing in his cup so bitter,
but by waiting awhile yourselfe and people will
find such sweetness in the bottom and conclu-
sion of it as shall make you and them a double
amends. David had a great desire to build the
Lord a temple, and he was content with the sad
message of the prophet, he must not do it, his
son should. It was quite honour enough unto
him to provide stuff for it. I persuade myselfe
the Lord intends to do more for you, and by you,
in the place where the Lord hath set you, and
that he will honour you with a more glorious
service than that of Solomon's, to build him a
temple not of stones, but of saints elect and pre-
cious, yet you know how many yeares Solomon
waited before the temple came to be erected.
AH the stones of it were hewn and hammered
out in mount Lebanon, so that no axe nor ham-
mer was heard knocking while the temple was
a building. 1 Kings 6: 7. Oh, let not a little
waiting be grievous or sad to you while your
stones, your people, are preparing themselves,
THOMAS SHEPARD. 89
or the Lord rather is preparing of them, to he
built on the foundation stone, that when you
meet agayne together, there may not be any
hammer heard, any doubt made, any pause oc-
casioned, by any neglect of them in not seeking
to gather their evidences better, both to quiet
their owne soules before the Lord, and to sat-
isfy the consciences of other men. As for my-
selfe I was very loth to speake, but I thou^^ht
(and I have found it since) that I should neither
be accounted faithfull to the church that sent
me, neither should I manifest the tenderness of
the good of your people, if I had not spoken
what I did. I did confesse, and do confesse
still, that, although there were divers weak-
nesses in most which I did, and do willingly with
a spirit of love, cover and passe by, as knowing
what I am myselfe, yet there were 3 of them
cheefly, that I was not satisfyed scarce in any
measure with, their profession of their faith; not
but that I doe believe upon your own tryall oi
them (which I persuade myselfe will not be
slighty in laying a foundation) but that they
might have grace, yet because we came not
here to find gracious harts, but to see them too.
'Tis not faith but visible faith, that must make
a visible church, and be the foundation of visible
communion, which faith I say, because my
weaknes could not then see in some of them
8*
do MEMOIRS OF
by their professions, I therefore spake what I
did with respect to yourselfe and tendernes also
to them that so they might either expresse them-
selves more fully for satisfaction of the churches
(which I did chiefly desire) or if there were not
time for this, that they might defer till another
time, which you see was the generall vote of all
the churches which course I have and do tbinke
hath this 3 fold good wrapt up in it. 1 . Thai
if your people then doubtfull to us, be indeed
sincere, this might make them more humble and
make them search themselves more narrowly,
and make them cast away all their blurred ev-
idences, and get fairer and shew better, and so
find more peace and keep more close to God
than ever before; and on the contrary, if they
be unsound that this might be a meanes to dis-
cover them, for either you will find them proud,
passionate and discontented at this (which I be-
lieve is far from all of them) or else you will
see that this doth little good, and woorkes little
upon them ; which unto my own selfe would be
a shrewd evidence of little or no grace, if the
majesty and presence of God in so many churches
so ready to receive you, should woorke no more
awe nor sad laying to hart such a sentence as
this hath bin; for believe it, brother, we have
bin generally mistaken in most men, and in great
professors these times have lately shewn, and
THOMAS SHEPARD. 91
this place hath discovered more false harts than
ever we saw before ; and it will be your com-
fort to be very wary and very sharpe in looking
to the harts and spirits of those you signe your-
'selfe unto especially at first ; least you meet
with those sad breaches, which other churches
have had, and all by want of care or skill to pick
foorth fit stones for so glorious a foundation as
posterity to come may build upon and blesse
the Lord.
2. By this meanes others will not be too for-
ward to set upon this woorke, which afler sad
tryall will be found utterly unfit for it ; for 'tis
not a woorke for all professors,. nor for all godly
men to lay a foundation of a church, for many
godly men may have some od distemps that may
make for the mine of the building, therefore not
fit for a foundation ; many godly men are weake
and simple and unable to discerne, and so may
easily receive in such as may afterward ruine
them, hence unfit to lay a foundation, not that I
judge thus of your people. I dare not thinke
8oe, but if those that be fit have bin stopt thus
in their way, how will this make others to
tremble and feare, in attempting this woorke
lesse able them yourselves.
3. By this meanes I beleeve and hope that
the communion of saints will be set al a higher
price, when 'tis scene that 'tis not an honour
that the Lord will alway put on nor bestow and
92 MEMOIRS OF
give away unto his own people. I doe therefore
intreat you in the Lord that you would not hang
down your head, but rejoyce at this good provi-
dence of the Lord, which will abound so much
to his prayse and your future peace ; neither
let it discourage you nor any of your brethren
to goe on in the woorke for after times ; but
having looked over their own evidences a little
better, and humbled their soules for this, and
thirsting the more after the Lord in his temple
and ordinances, while with David they are de-
prived for a season of them ; that hereafter you
would come foorth agayne (it may be some of
your virgins have bin sleeping and this may
awaken them) with your lamps trimmed, your
lamps burning, your wedding garments on to
meet the bridegroome ; and if others will fall
and sleep agayne, and not get their oyle when
they have had this warning, what do they do
but discover themselves to be but foolish ones ;
who though they knock hereafter and cry Lord,
Lord, it may be xt nor his spouse will ever let
them in. Thus with my unfaigned love to all
your brethren, whom I honour and tender in the
Lord, with my poor prayers for you and them
that in his time he would unite and bring you
together, I rest in great hast.
Your brother in Christ,
THO. SHEPARD.
From J^ewtown (Cambridge)
April 2, 1636.
THOMAS SHEPARD. 93
The following is Mr. Mather'& answer.
Deare brother,
Your letter hath been very welcome to me
and so hath also your counsell therein, not to
be too much troubled at the stay and stop, which
the good hand of the Lord hath put to our in-
tended proceedings. And as for what you spake
tbat day I blesse the Lord for it, I am so farre
from any hard thoughts towards you for y® same,
y* you have by your free and faithfull dealing
tiiat day endeared yourselfe in my esteeme more
than ever ; though you were alwaies much
honored & very dear unto mee. And blessed
be the name of our good God forever y* put it
into your hearts and mouths, all of you to ex-
presse yourselves as you did, for we now see
(though farre from what we might see, but
y® Lord now hath given us some poore measure
to see) our unworthinesse of such a privilege as
church communion is, and our unfitnesse for
such a worke as to enter into covenant with
himself and to bee accepted of his people ;
neither is it any discouragement to me at all yt
such a barre and stopp was put in our way, we
being so unworthy ; but here, brother, is the
thing which my soul hath most need of, even to
be humbled for our presuming to attempt so
farre, & for our abusidg the Lord's name & or«
94 MEMOIRS OF
dinances, & the presence of his saints ; not
bringing us y^ wedding garment fairly putt upon
us, which only might have made us accepted in
y^ eyes of y^ King, & of all his servaunts there
present y* day : Alas for it, y* we had not hearts
to addresse our selves in better manner to such
a weighty service ; & y* pride should prick us
on without due consideration of what we took in
hand ; but y° Lord saw our disease, & hath
given us physicke suteable ; Oh pray for us
y' it may have a kindly working on us for our
healing. Indeed he hath let us blood in y° right
veyne, for arrogancy was our distemper, and
hee hath given us a medicine for it accordingly,
& fit it was that our high mynd should be fol-
lowed by a fall & with contempt. The Lord is
just 6l holy, & we are worthy only of ever-
lasting shame & contempt. I have great reason
here to take shame unto myself & to receive the
portion which the Lord tenders mee to drink for
the healing the pride and vain-glory of my heart.
Deare Sir, helpe a poore creature, I beseech
you by your prayers for an humble spirit ; who
see the Lord calling on mee for it by his woord
& by this good providence of his, & yet cannot
bee humbled for all this. If you knew or could
beleeve that it were with mee this way as in-
deed it is, you would pray for mee ; & pray
earnestly too, as in a matter of great need; in-
THOMAS SHEPARD. 95
deed so great y^ I cannot tell you of my pride,
but my proud heart is tickled with pride even
at y» very telling of it. Oh that I were sensible
of it, &. could bewaile it, and crave helpc against
it without fayning & without counterfetting or
hypocrisy.
Good Sir, pray formee. Ify® Lord heale the
distemps of my spirit at your request in the name
of y* Lord Jesus, your reward shall be great ;
& if he meanes to do my soul good, it may be he
will moove you to pray for mee therein ; and
if he so do, no doubt (however it may go with
mee) your labour shall not be lost, but your
prayers will turn into your own bosome. Now
as concerning our attempting y^ worke agayne,
I know not what to say, but this I may say
truely ; If y® counterfetting Gibeonites were
made hewers of wood & drawers of water, be-
cause they beguiled Israel to enter into league
6l covenant with them, when they were not ye
men yt they seemed to be ; it is as much as we
are worthy of (oh y* I could say this word feel-
ingly & without fayning) that we may be
hewers of wood &»c. for y® churches here be-
cause we attempted a league &. covenant with
the churches, & were not worthy of such a mat-
ter nor meet to be covenanted with, though
(blessed be y® Lord for it) y® heads of y® con-
gregation of the Lord's Israel here were not soe
96 MBM0IR8 OF
hasty & rash k credulous, as they were in the
days of Joshua. And for my own particular
thus : If y^ Lord say hee hath no delight in mee,
nor will accept any such service as this at my
hand, I desire to say what David in the like
case could say it without fayuing & with a feel-
ing heart, hehold here am I, let him do as
seemeth good in his eyes. 2 Sam. 15: 26. for
indeed if this work had gone forward I perceive
it was in the heart of them that attempted *****
& have * * a tyme upon some further worke &
office among themselves, now I am too * * of my
own insuffitiency for such worke by them in-
tended, yet I have no reason to be sorry for
aught the Lord hath done, for such things I
know to be needfull in the Pastors & Teachers
of churches, &> myselfe so insufficient for them,
y^ I have looked at the attempted joyning in
.Church-fellowship with some feare &. trembling;
in regard of the heavy burden, which might have
been laid on my shoulders, if his worke had
gone forward. Now it may be bee. y® Lord
sees mee, as indeed I am, not able nor fit for such
worke as was by men intended espetially to
bring myselfe along, they therefore [have] done
as we see, & therefore I am lesse grieved at the
stopp, which he hath made. But you will ^ay
why then did you present yourselfe with the
people before the Lord & the churches. I will
THOMiS 9BEPARD. 97
tell you the truth therein. They pressed me
unto it with much importunity, & so did others
also ; till I was ashamed to deny any longer, &
laid it on mee as a thing to which I was hound
in conscience to assent, hec. if I yielded not to
joyne there would be (said they) no church at
all in this place, & so a tribe, as it were, should
perish out of Israel, & all through my default.
This kind of arguing meeting that inward vain-
glory, which I spake of before was it y* drew
mee forward, & prevailed against that con-
sciousnesse of my owne insufficiency, & against
that timorousnesse that sometymes I have found
in myselfe. But why then did we bring stones
so unhammered & unhewn, evidences of faith
no fairer &c. In this. Sir, you lay your finger
upon our sore directly, neither can we here put
in any other plea but guilty. The good Lord
pardon, saith Hezekiah, every one that pre-
pareth his heart to seeke God, though he be not
cleansed according to the purification of the
sanctuary. Let us beg the help of your prayers
for pardon herein as Hezekiah did, pardon for
y* people, & for more grace & care y* if we ever
come forth again for y« same purpose (which for
my part I am much afraid to do) we may not
come to the dishonour of God, 6l griefe of his
saints as the last time we did. The Lord render
you a rich & plentifiill reward for your love &
9
98 MEMOIRS OF
faith fulnesse. * * =** It was pride that made me
afraid to have my weaknesses espied, yea it was
pride that induced me to yield to their importu-
nity, because 1 was desirous to have the glory &
praise of being tractable & easy when intreated &
not to be noted for a stubborne & of a stiff spirit.
Now good Sir, strive for me with the Lord y* he
y* resisteth y® proud and giveth grace to the hum-
ble, would worke in me another spirit, for you
see I am wholly composed of pride.
To my deare friend & very loving brother
Mr. Thomas Shepard, at New Towne. dd.
After an account of Mrs. Hutchinson's here-
sies in 1636, the author of The wonder work-
ing Providence of Zion's Saviour ' gives this
curious narration. ^
" But to ' end this dismall yeare of sixteene
hundred thirty-six, take here the sorrowfull com-
plaint of a poore soule in misse of its expecta-
tion at landing, who being incountered with
some Errorists at his first landing, when he
saw that good old way of Christ rejected by
them, and hee could not skill in that new light,
which was the common theame of every man's
Discourse, hee betooke him to a narrow Indian
path, in which his serious Meditations soone led
1 Page 101.
THOMAS SHEPARD. 99
him, where none but senceless Trees and ec-
choing Rocks make answer to his heart-easeing
mone. Oh quoth he where am I become, is
this the place where those Reverend Preachers
are fled, ^bat Christ was pleased to make use
of to rouse up his rich graces in many a droop-
ing soule; hfere have I met with some that tell
mee, I must take a naked Christ. Oh, woe is
mee if Christ be naked to mee, wherewith shall
I be cloathed, but mcthinks I roost wonder they
tell me of casting of all godly sorrow for sin as
unbeseeming a soule, that is united to Christ
by Faith, and there was a little nimbled tongued
woman among them, who said she could bring
me acquainted with one of her own sex that
would shew me a way, if I could attaine it,
even Revelations, full of such ravishing joy
that I should never have cause to be sorry for
sinne, so long as I live, and as for her part shee
had attained it already; a company of legall
Professors, quoth she lie poritig on the Law
which Christ hath abolished, and when you
breake it then you breake your joy, and now no
way will serve your time, but a deepe sorrow.
These and divers others expressions intimate
unto mee, that here I shall finde little in-
crease in the Graces of Christ, through the
hearing of his word Preached, and other of his
blessed Ordinances. Oh cunning Devill, the
100 MEMOIRS OF
Lord Christ rebuke thee, that under pretence
of a free and ample Gospell ^huts out the soule
from partaking with the Divine Nature of
Christ, in that mysticall Union of his Blessed
Spirit creating, and continuing his Graces* in
the soule: my deare Christ, it was thj work
that moved me hither to come, hoping to find
thy powerfull presence in the Preaching of the
Word, although administered by sorry men,
subject to like infirmities with others of God's
people, and also by the glass of the Law, to
have my sinfuU corrupt nature discovered daily
more and more, and my utter inability of any
thing that is good, magnifying hereby the firee
grace of Christ; who of his good will and pleas-
ure worketh in us to will and to doe, working all
our works in us and for us.
^^ But here they tell me of a naked Christ,
What is the whole life of a Christian upon this
Earth ? But through the power of Christ to die
to sinne, and live to holinesse and righteous-
nesse, and for that end to be diligent in the use
of meanes: at the uttering of this word he starts
up from the greene bed of his complainte, with
resolution to hear some one of these able Min-
isters Preach (whom report had so valued) be-
fore his will should make choyce of any one
principle, though of crossing the broade Seas
back againe, then turning his (ace to the Sun, ho
THOMAS 8HEFARD. 101
steered his course to the next Town, and after
some small travel] hee came to a large plaine,
no sooner was hee entered thereon, but hearing
the sound of a Drum he was directed toward it
by a broade beaten way, following this rode he
demands of the next man he met what the sig-
nall of the Drum ment, the reply was made they
had as yet no Bell to call men to meeting; and
therefore made use of a Drum. Who is it, quoth
hee, Lectures at this Towne. . The other re-
plies, I see you are a stranger, new come over,
seeing you know not the man, it is one Mr.
Shepheard, Verily quoth the other you hit the
right, I am new come over indeed, and have
been told since I came, most of your Ministers
are legall Preachers, only if I mistake not they
told me this man Preached a finer covenant of
woorkes than the other, but however I shall
make what haste I can to heare him. Fare
you well; then hasting thither hee croudeth
through the thickest, where having stayed while
the glasse was turned up twice, the man was
metamorphosed, and was fain to hang down his
head often, lest his watry eyes should blab
abroad the secret conjunction of his aftections,
the heart crying loud to the Lord^s ecchoing
answer, to his blessed spirit, that caused the
Speech of a poore weake pale complectioned
man to take such impression in his soule at pre-
9*
102 MEMOIRS or
sent, bj applying the word so aptly, as if hee
had beene hisPrivy Counsellor, cleering Christ's
worke of grace in the soule from all those
false Doctrines, which the Erronious party had
affrighted him withall, and now he resolves (the
Lord willing) to live and die with the Ministers
of J^Tew England^ whom hee now saw the Lord
had not onely made zealous to stand for the
truth of his Discipline, but also of the Doc-
trine, and not to give ground one inch."
Cotton Mather, introducing his account of
Shepard, says, ^^ Let the reader now go with
me and I will show him one of the happiest men
that ever we saw; as great a converter of souls
as has ordinarily been known in our days." ^
Again. ^* It was with a respect unto the en-
lightening and powerful ministry of Mr. Shep-
ard, that when the foundation of a coUedge was
to be laid, Cambridge^ rather than any other
place, was pitched upon to be the seat of .that
happy seminary." '
" Of Mr. Shepard I have been told (says Mr.
Prince) that he scarce ever preached a sermon
but some or other of his congregation were
struck with great distress and cried out in agony,
^ What shall I do to be saved.' Though his
1 Magnalin, B. III. Chap. V.
2 Ibid.
THOMAS 8HEPARD. 103
voice was low yet so searching was his preach*
ing, and so great a power attending, as a hypo-
crite could not easily bear it, and it seemed al-
most irresistible." *
'^ As he was a very studious person, and a
very lively preacher, and one who therefore
took great pains in hi9 preparations y for his pub-
lick labours, which preparations he would usu-
ally finish on Saturday by two o'clock in the
afternoon: with respect whereunto he once used
these words: God will curse that man's Za-
bourSy that lumbers up and down in the world all
the week, and then upon Saturday in the cfiemoon
goes to his study; when as God knows that time
were little enough to pray in and weep in, and get
his heart into a frame Jit for ' the approaching
Sabbath. So the character of his daily conver-
sation was a trembling walk with God." '
^^ President Edwards styles Mr. Shepard
^ that famous experimental diving;' and in
his ^ Treatise concerning religious affections,'
makes a greater use of his writings, particularly
of his Parable of the Ten Virgins than of any
other writings whatever." '
a
This year 1649, Aug. 25. that faithful aad
1 Priace*8 Sermons published by Dr. Erskine p. 60.
3 Magnalia, Book III. Chap. V.
3 Historical Collections, Vol. V. First Series, 45.
104 MEMOIRS OF
eminent servant of Christ Mr. Thomas Shep-*
ard died, who was a soul searching Minister of
the Gospel and Pastor of the Church of Christ
at Cambridge. By his death not only that
Church and people, but also all J^eio England
sustained a very great loss; he not only preached
the Gospel profitably and very successfully,
but also hath lefl behind him divers worthy
works of special use, in reference unto the
clearing up the state of the soul to God and
man; the benefit thereof, those can best expe-
rience who are roost conversant in the improv-
ing of them and have God^s blessing on them
therein to their souls good. His Body was
honourably buried at Cambridge in New Eng-
land.
^^ ^ Blessed are the dead that die in the Lord,
for their works follow them.' '* ^
The following works of Shepard are men-
tioned by contemporary writers.
1. "Among his composures of the more cfoc-
trinal sort the bell seems to be borne by his elab-
orate and judicious treatise, entitled theses
SABBATIC^; wherein he hath handled the moral'-
i^y of the Sabbath with a degree of reason^
* Morto.i'0 N. E»8. Memorial, 1721. p. 169.
THOMAS SHEPARD. 105
reading, and religion which is truly extraordi-
nary." ^
2. or Cautions aoainst Spiritual
Drunkenness. — ' In which Sermon, he uttered
this coinplaint: Do we not see great unaettledness
in the Covenant of Gody walking with God at
per adventures, and hanckerings afitr divisions
and distractions,^ ^
3. The Sincere Convert. — " which the au-
thor would commonly call his ragged child.
He said: It was a collection of notes in a dark
town in England, which one procuring of me pub'
lished vjithout my will or privity. " ^
4. The Sound Believer. — A copy of this
work, lately found in the possession of a mem-
ber of this parish has this Title page: "The
Sound Believer. A Treatise of Evangelical
Conversion. Discovering the Work of Christ^s
Spirit, in reconciling of a sinner to God. By
Thomas Shefard, sometime of Emanuel Col-
lege in Cambridge, since Preacher of God's in
New England." In the Dedication * To his
dear Friend, Mr. W. Greenhill,' he says, as a
reason for publishing this Book, ^ / knew not
what the Lord's meaning should be to bring to
light without any privity , knowledge, or will the
1 Magnalia Book IIL Chap. V,
2 Ibid.
9 Ibid,
106 MEMOIRS OF
former part (referring to the Sincere Convert)
unless it was to awaken and enforce me, (being
desired) to publish the rest : our Works I
THOUGHT should RESEMBLE God's WORKS, NOT
BE LEFT IMPERFECT." The Book is fouudcd
on this text, Hosea XIII. IX. ^ O Israel thou
hast destroyed thyself ; but in me is thy help. "
It is well worthy of a reprint.
5. A Sermon, ^^ tending to clear vp the old
way of Christ in the Churches of New Eng-
land?'
6. A Letter. " JVcw England's lamentation
for Old England's Errours," Cambridge 1663.
7. Select Cases Resolved.
8. The Church-membership of Children ; and
9. The Soul's Jewel, in Two Sermons.
10. The Parable of the Ten Virgins; —
'whereof the venerable names of Greenhill,
Calamy, Jackson, Ash, Taylor have sub-
scribed this testimony. '' That (hough a vein of
serious^ solid and hearty piety runs through all this
author's works J yet he hath reserved the best wine
till the last." ^
1 Magnalia , Book ill. Chap. V. For several other works of
Shepard, see Catalogue of Harvard College Lib; ary, &c.
Nos. 7, 8 and 9 are in possesticn of ihe ' Historical Society.*
THOMAS SHEPARD. 107
Perhaps these notices cannot be concluded
more appropriately than by applying to this emi-
nent man a ' Funeral Elegy ' on his predecessor
the famous Hooker, written by Mr. John Cot-
ton, every word of which is as true of Shepard
as of the former.^
To see three things was holy Austin's wish
Romein her flower, Christ Jesus in the flesh,
And Paul i' the Pulpit : Lately men might see
Two first and more in Shepard's ministry.
Zion in beauty is a fairer sight
Than Rome in Flower with all her glory dight :
Yet Zion's beauty did most clearly shine,
In Shepard's Rule and Doctrine, both divine.
Christ in the Spirit is more than Christ in Flesh,
Our souls to quicken, and our States to bless.
Yet Christ in Spirit brake forth mightily
In faithful Shepard 's searching ministry.
Patd in the Pulpit, Shepard could not reach,
Yet did he Christ in Spirit so lively preach,
That living hearers thought he did inherit
A double Portion of Paul's lively Spirit.
Prudent in rule, in Argument quick, full,
Fervent in prayer, in Preaching powerfull ;
That well did Learned Ames record bear
The like to him he never wont to hear.
1 Mo:t.n>8 N. E*s Memorial, 1721. p. 163.
108 MEMOIRS OF THOMAS SBEPARD.
Twas of Geneva's Worthies said, witli wonder
(Those Worthies three) Farell was wont to Thunder,
Vircetj like Rain, on tender Grass to shower :
But Calvin lively Oracles to pour.
All these in Shepard's spirit did remain^
A Son of Thunder, and a shower of Rain^
A pourer forth of lively Oracles,
In saving Souls the sum of Miracles,
Now blessed Shepard thou art set on high
Above the thankless world and cloudy skie ;
Do thou, of all thy labour reap the Crown,
Whilst we here reap the seed which thou hast sown.
An Epitaph, selected from a Latin Elegy
made upon him, is:
' Nominis, Officiique fuit Concordia Dulcis ;
OgUio Pastor, JVbm»7ie Pastor erat.'
His Name and Office sweetly did agree :
Shepard, by name, and in his Ministry.
CONCLUSION.
A parish priest was of tho -tilorim train,
5\n awftil,Tevorend and religious man : "
fie boro his ^eat commission in his look,
6ut sweetly tempered awe, and softened all he spoke :
Tie preached tho joys of heaven and pains of helL,
An;l warned the sinner with becoming zeal, —
Uut on otornal mercy loved to dw4)IU
DnvDRt*.
There never \vas a chaTacter tnore strongly
marked than that of the subject of tliis book,
which at the same time left upon the beholder,
us the predominating impression, the sense of
something/ sof^ and beautifi^. In reading the
Autobiography, and in collecting the notices
of . its author, two words seemed to express in
a singularly jtist and perfect manner, the leading
features of his character and mind : ^ Simplicity
and godly Sincerity, ' These characteristics strike
the reader before he has finished many page«
10
110 CHARACTER CFF
of the book. What unaffected feeling f It m
pure nature, flowing like a silent stream over
its own natural bed. Like the writers of his
age, he uses words without much regard to
comeliness of expression, but with « ^semper in-
stans sibij^ or cumulative, manner, which indi-
cates a feeling and sincere heart. Sometimes,
when a preceding sentence has filled us with
emotion, and we read on, an expression of godly
sorrow or of pious reflection strikes the mind
with overcoming power, — while the man himself,
seemingly unconscious of the greatness of his
meaning, proceeds immediately to an incidental
circumstance, after the manner of the sacred
penman. Thus, after the sublime but mournful
words of Hezekiah in the prospect of death,
The grave rannol praisr. tJieCy dealt cannot ccle-
brate thee ; — the living, l^ie living, he shall praise,
theey as I do this day, — it is added, as it were \n
the same breath, For Isaiah had said, Let them^
&c. describing the simple remedy that changed
this sorrow of the king to joy.
What an illustration of this, and of his simple,
childlike way of reasoning and feeling, have we
in his own description of the cause of his first
THOMAS SHEPARD. Ill
Yeligious impressions. ^ When I did light in
godly company I beard them discourse about
the wrath of God and tiu» t^rrour of it, and how
intolerable it was, wbich they did present by fire
— how intolerable the torment o{that was for a
lirae — what then would dcrn'dy be ? ' And again,
as a reason why he ^ did presse the Lord ' to
^pare the life of bis second sob ; ^ because I
^sought for y« first, and could not prevayle for
his life ; and this was sore if the Ij>rd did not hcare
me for (his.^
Instances illustrative of this trait of character
pervade his life. His reasons for leaving Old
£ngland, because he thought that he saw the
Lord departing from it, * when Mr. Cotton and
Mr. Hooker were gone ; ' his peculiar manner of
recognizing the su|)er intending providence of
God, which sometimes excites a smile, it is so
much like a child's words to his father in the
dark ; his constant fear of ' crossing the Lord's
love ; ' his immediate prostration of soul before
Him at the slightest intimation of His displea-
sure ; and many other instances of the same
kind, cannot fail to interest the reader. We
Bee in them an illustration of the principle that
112 CHARACTER OF
in proportion as the character of man te assim-
ilated to God, a quick sensibflitj to His pre-
sence, and under the influence of this, a perfect
simplicity of feeling is begotten in the souL
He was a man of prayer. When he was very-
young he ^ wrestled '. for his father's life,. ^ and
made some covenant if €k>d would spare him.''
He notes it as a dark passage in his life when-^,
at the University, he spent some time ^ in neglect
of private prayer,' though he ' was not then a
Christian. What » specimen of intercessory
prayer is his entreaty for the life of his child..
When he had escaped drowning at * Ferry brig^'^
(bridge) no sooner had he relieved himself from
his uncomfortable condition, than he took his
companions with him and ' went to prayer.*^
Thus through his life he walked with God, and
as the natural effect, he poitred forth such feel-
ings and expressions in his pu^blic devotional
services that all his fellow- worshippers felt that
he had a strange access to the mercy-seat.
The writer, who gives the history of the for-
mation of this church, capnot help observing
that ' Mr. Shepard then made a most heavenly
prayer..'
THOMAS SHEPARD. 113
He was n man of great humility. He was
indeed conscious that God iiad made him useful
as a minister, and that he had gifts which would
be profitable to the Church io this or any land.
He did not undervalue himself, or affect a false
humility by unjust expressions of his unworthi-
ness, — neither did he, like some, tconsider him-
self as honoring God the more, in proportion
as he despised himself or his services. But
through his life, a consciousness that sin was
mingled with much that he did, aod that he came
lar short of his duty, and that ihe was prone to
forsake God for other sources of enjoyment,
made him a weeping Prophet. The contrcust of
his own character with that of his Maker, which
was impressed upon him so frequently by his
seasons of fasting 4ind prayer, made him feel
Mke* Job, when he said-?-^ but now mine eye
seelh thee ; wherefore I abhor myself, and re-
pent in dust and ashes/
From all this we gather the secret of his
great success in preaching. Every pious hearer
knows that whenever he has received spiritual
benefit from a minister, it has been conveyed
by thoughts which seemed to have around them
10*
1X4 CHARACTER OT
an unction from the tioly One. Baxter says thnl
the sermon^ by which he himself found access
fo the heart, were those which he *had begged
of the Lord in prayer. In reading Shepard^s
Sermons, we feel that he had this unction, and
that he obtained it by his uncommon habits of
devotion. We are told that he finished his pre-
paratioR for the Sabbath on Saturday aflernooo,
and spent the rest of the time before the public
exercises of the Lord's day, in devout medita^
tion atid prayer. He said, when dying, that the
study of every sern^n r.ost htm tears. The
truth of this declaration is impressed on his^
discourses. He knew where to carry hie rising:
trains of thought to have them enlarged, and
rectified, and breathed upon ;. and as he wrestled
with God for words to express the growing emo-
tions of his soul^^ there flew one of the seraphin^
and touched his lips as with a live coal from off the
altar. It is evident from his serraenson the Para-
ble of the Ten Virgins, ^that he spake in woida
which the Holy Ghost teacheth;' for though
they manifest extensive reading and research^
so that Calamy^ to mention no others, has given
them the highest praise, it is ptainly evident that
TBOMAS SUEPAYlD. 115
the efiect which they produce upon the mind
comes from something in them which is far above
the ordinary power . of talent or learning.
As the Saviour describes the secret operation
of the Spirit by the similitude of the unseen
wind, so in the preaching* of this holy man, an
influence fell upon the hearers, like the mys*
terious, overwhelming presence of the Spirit of
God. He wrote from his own heart, and was
therefore sure to reach the heart, detect the
sins, satisfy the wants, arid comfort the souls of
others. He was peculiarly successful in ex-
posing hypocrisy. He fulfilled the prophecy
concerning the Christian dispensation, in being a
refiner's fire for the purification of the sons of
Levi, making many a Christian a priest unto
God, insomuch that a writer of his time speaks
of Shepard's church as forming a wonderful ex-
ception to the spirit of heresy and division which
entered the churches of New England. The
fact that it was always ask«d upon the Sabbath
by those who had not attended worship, ** Who
was wrought upon to-day? " shows that, like the
Apostles, he rose to preach, i^xpecting that the
word of God would take immediate effect.
116 CHARACTER OF
LiviDg as he did in such converse with eternal
scenes, he felt in his own spirit the powers of the
world to come. Two subjects were favorite
themes in his discourses : the exceeding sinful-
ness and the tremendous consequences of sin,
and the greatness and glory of the Saviour's
character. There was exceeding tenderness
and pathos in his invitation of a sinner to Christ.
He seemedalmost to carry the anxious sinner in
his arms to the Saviour, and endeavored to make
him consent, before they parted, that he would
own Him as his Lord. He was a son of thunder
as well as of consolation ; but at the close of all
his terrible denunciations against the wicked,
*■ The stiller aound succeeds, ami — God is there.'
There was one circumstance which made his
preaching instructive as well as convincing.
From an intimate acquaintance with his own
heart he was a great casuist. Questions of a
perplexing nature connected with religious ex-
perience, and Christian duty, were solved by
him with great discrimination and skill. His
'Select Cases Resolved ' consists of answers to
several inquiries of a Christian friend in Eng-
THOMAS SHUPARD. 117
land^ of which. two writers of a recommendatory .
preface to the fourth edition say, * we have sel-
dom seen acuteness, profoundness, and godliness
so happily matched.' This gift was cuUivated
by a striking anxiety that do one of his* flock
i^ould be a self-deceiver. It was the burden
of his preachidg to his Church that they should
kn6w what was the hope of thek callings and
give diligence to make this calling sure. He
was incessant in warning every man and teach-
ing every man, that he might present every
man faultless in Christ.
To the Members of this Church, founded and
established- by this eminent servant of. Christ
Jesus, there is great instruction and comfort ta
be derived from this book, which is now affec-
tionately commended to their regard. A great
responsibility rests upon us in having had' siicb
a man iii this interesting relation. There was
great wisdom, in making a man the founder of
the Jewish nation, who was pre-eminent for his
faith ; inasmuch as the trials which Were coming
upon them would teach them the value of faith
more than of any thing else, while their rev-
erence for their patriarch would inspire theiu
118 CHARACTER OF
to imitate his example. Your Sliepard suffered
the loss of all things for Christ, and went through
muchtribulation^ to found this church. ^ Take,
my brethren,' this prophet who has spoken to
you in times past, and now, though dead, in this
book, ^ for an example of suffering affliction,
and patience.' You have been called to great
sacrifices of property, and of feeling, for what
you believe to be the truth. If the decisions of
our tribunals are in agreement with the mind of
Christ, you would not change them. If others
have said to you, ' Bow down, that we may go
over^' if they have unjustly taken your funds
and your sacred vessels, there is One that has
said, ^ I hate robbery for burnt-offering ; ' and
must regard the emblems borne in those vessels
as the shew bread of iniquity and the wine of
deceit.* Whether they or you are right in this
* In addition to what ha^ at eady ben Siid upon this mh-
ject, it may be proper lo sate^ that although nt the time r>r
the secessio.i of the FirRt Church from the First Parish in Cam-
bridge, there was property in the pwSsession of the latter to the
amount of at least 10 or $12,000, thoy novertlieless prosecuted 'ho
Church for their little find raised :t the Communion tabe. The
sum of nearly $5000* menti ned in the Preface ofthis b ok, includes
Flkteaud other Church property. The fund itself waaouly $4100! But
we are h :ppj to say that uuly ouc haafof liiose male m. tiibwrt of lh«
^
120 CHAJtACTEU OF
church, as well as of all the churches in this
region. I. The great importance which Shepard
attached to . the practice of Infant Baptism.
During his persecution from place to place in
Old England, it was his anxious care to fin4^
a refuge where he could safely obtain the ordi-
nance of Baptism for a child. And at last, one
reason which induced him to seek a removal to
New England, was that he could here enjoy this
ordinance in its purity. There is no passage
in his life more affecting than that in which he
is so particular to remind his son that he has
been baptised. ^And after we had been here
diverse weekes,' he tells him * God gave thee the
ordinance of Baptism, whereby God is become
thy God, and is beforehand with thee, so that
when thou shalt return ta God he will undoubt-
edly receive thee.' One of the most nble of his
works is entitled ^ The Church Membership of
Children f and their right to Baptism^ <iccording
to that holy and everlasting Covenant of God es^
tablished between Himself and the faithful and
their sefid after them in their generations.^ In
this book he shows, with singular .acuteness,
that God had from the beginning an outward
THOMAA 8HEPARD. 121
and inward covenant with men, and that all the
Jewish nation were admitted to the outward
oovenftBJt, in order that by external privileges
they might be ^ Jews inwardly. ' He then proves
that '^ the covenant then and now is for sub-
slaace the same," 1. Because the covenant
made with Abraham is renewed in the Gospel,
Heb. viii. 10. 2. Because Abraham's covenant
is ''of Gospel and eternal privileges." 3. Be-
cause there was never any covenant but it was
either of grace or loorks ; that of grace which was
made with Abraham, — ^that of works, on Mount
Sinai. '' But (Gal. iii. 17.) the covenant which
was confirmed afore bt Christ, the law 480
years after cannot disannul." 5. Because the
(HTomise, I will be a God to thee and thy seed,
does not belong to the mere lineai descend-
ants of Abraham, inasmuch as it is said of the
Jews, 'they are^ broken off by unbelief ^ and by
faiih shall be grafi^d in.' If therefore they
were broken off by vnbeliefy then they stood as
members of the church by faith ; and if hj faith
they should be graffed tn, then they stood by
faith at first. Hence not the lineal but the
fail&ful descendants, are heirs according* to the
11
I2S CHARACTER OF
promise. If so, believers under the New Tes-
tament have the same privilege with ancient
Jews, viz. ; that their children are included with
them in the covenant. He then shows that
'^ there is the same inward cause moving God,
to take in the children of believing church
members into the church and covenant now, to
be of the number of his people, as there was ibr
taking the Jews and their children. For the
only reason why the Lord took in the children
of the Jews with themselves was his love to-
wards them. ^ Because he laved thyfathefay there^
fore he chose their seed.' Deut. iv. 37, and x. 15.
So that I do from hence believe that either God's
love is in these days of his gospel less unto his
people and servants than in the days of the Old
Testament ; or if it be as great, that then the
same love respects the seed of his people now
as then it did. And therefore, if then because
He loved them, He chose their ^eed to be of his
church: so in these days, because He loveth «5,
He chooseth our seed to be of his church also."
The common arguments against Infant Bap-
tism are answered in an original and satisfactory
manner. It is objected, he says, that * if chil-
1
TBOMAir SHEFARD. 123
dren be members^ then they must come to the
Lord's supper; for you know no differenee be-
tween member and member, in point of. privi-
lege, unless they be under some sin.' Answer.
^ Yes, verily, there is a plain difference between
member and member (though professing believ-
ers) in point of privileg'e, though they be under
no sin: for a man may speak and prophesy in the
church, not women. A company of men may
make a church, and so receive in and capt out
of the church, but not toonsen, though professing
saints.' Be also argues that ^ a man may be-
lieve in Christ, and yet be very ignorant of the
nature, use, and ends of the Lord's supper;
now such may be baptized as soon as ever faith
appears, Mark xvi. 16 ; but they may not be
admitted to the Lord's supper, because through
their extreme ignorance, they cannot discern
the Lord's body. If therefore children be able
to examine themselves and discern the Lord's
body, they may then eat.* He then answers
the following question: ^ What good is it ei-
ther for a wicked or an elect child, till he be
converted, to be in the Church ? or what good
may any have by being in the Church till they
124 CHARA.CTEK OF
ean profit by what they enjoy ? ' Answer. ^ Thfe
Apostle puts the like cftse, and gives you an
answer: what advantage kath the JeWy and tehai
profit is there in eircwncisian. What use or
profit could the infants then make of their
church covenant, membership, or seal, who nn*
^erstand none of these things ? Do you think
the Lord exposed his holy ordinances then unto
eonftempt, and is more carefiil that they may be
more profitably ased now? was there no goo^
hy circumcision ? Yea, saith the Apostle, ttittdk
everif teag,* An illustration of this point in
another place in his book, is this : ^ Thes^
children may not be the sons of €rod and his
people, really and savingly, but God will honor
them outwardly at least with his name and priv-
ilege; ju8t 08 one that adopts a youngster telh
the father that if the chOd carry himself weU
toward him, when fte is grown up to yearly he
shall possess the inheritance itself ; hut yd in the
mean while he shall have this favor to be called
his son, and be of his family and householdy and
so be reckoned among the number of his sons.*
But to leave his argument, what amazing
power did this man possess over his son by ]
THOMAS BHEPARD. 125
being able to say to him, God gave thee the
ORDINANCE OF BAPTISM, WHEREBY GoD IS BE-
COME THY God, AND IS BEFOREHAND WITH THEE,
THAT WHENEVER THOU SHALT RETURN TO GoD
HE WILL UNDOUBTEDLY RECEIVE THEE! And
what a loss is it to a parent who cannot lay
upon a child this solemn responsibility of choos-
ing the service of that God who has so gracious-
ly included him in His covenant . ^ What would
Shepard say to the members of our churches
who have forsaken the covenant of their God,
in neglecting this invitation and promise to their
seed? This son was early a subject of renew*
ing grace, and reflected great honor upon his
father's memory and upon the Church, as a
faithful and distinguished minister. All his
children of whom we have any knowledge were
likewise useful in the Church, verifying the
promise of Grod to him and ^ to his seed.'
The Half-Way covenant, that polluter of the
fountain set open for Judah and Jerusalem, was
invented at a. later day, in order to make men
nominally Church members, that so they might
be eligible to offices of civil trust; and because
piety had greatly declined, it was thought that
11*
126 MEMOIRS OP
by ioriting all who would ^acknowledge the
covenant/ and thus be entitled to baptism for
their diildren^ (though they themselves were
prohibited from the Lord's supper) there would
in this way be a good prospect of securing a
righteous seed in the coming generation. Such
howeyer was the confidence of our fathers in
the moral influence of having been baptized,
when the subjects themselves should come to
years of reflection. But, alas! multitudes at the
present day, with only a superficial acquaintance
or rather an entire ignorance of the nature of
the Covenant with believers, have been deterred
from availing themselves of this blessed privi-
lege, by the ridicule, or the sophistical or equal-
ly superficial objections of Christian friends.
A great part of those who practise the Ordi-
nance, it is to be feared, think of it only as a
solemn formality of giving a child a name!
The Apostle reproving nn ancient Church for
its abuse of the Lord's supper, says, ' Fer this
cause many ate weak and sickly among yon, and
many gleep.^ May not the present acknowl-
edged state 6f declension in many of our
Churches, and the low stuidard of piety, and
THOMAS SHfiPARD. 137
our freqiient exposure, especially at tiihes of
great religious interest, to sectarian proselytidiiiy
proceed in part from the Jamentabie neglect of
the Coveaant which Grod made with us in Abra*
ham? Should H not be a solemn iaquiry with
all the meoibers of our churches, who ate heg*
looting the baptism of their children, whethi^r,
thus far at least, they do not break covenant
with their God ?
II. In the conduct of Shepard at the forination
of the Church in Dorchester, where with a bold-
ness and fidelity seldom imitated, he refused to
lay hands on some of the candidates for mem*
bership, we see a spirit whicl^ is a saft^guard of
the Churches against corr«ptiott, from the ad-
mission of unworthy members.
That indiscriminating ^judgment of charity'
which has been the rule to so great an extent
in the admission of members to the church,
however it may appear to some to Indicitte a
kind heart, is a mistaken and ruinous principle.
Shepard thought that if those individuals to
whose admission he demurred, wer^ Really
Christians, their rejection could not prejudice
188 CHARACTER OT
their fiRal acceptance by Christ. He chose to
err, if at ail, on the side of the general good^
rather than of individual feeling. It is believed
that his example in this respect will confirm
those churches in their ptocedure, who have
lately determined on the observance of stricter
rules, and a more thorough investigation of the
evidences of Christian character in respect to
candidates for the Church. The Saviour has
lately been amongst some of the Churches of
this region with his fan, and has thoroughly
purged his floor. The foundation has been
laid anew in many places for a more spiritual
temple» Let us be careful what we build upon
thb foundation, that, if possible, the super-
structure may roI soon again be tried by fire.
Members of the Church must feel that a solemn
responsibility rests on each of them, and not
merely upon the minister, to guard the purity
of the Church,, both by their own holy living, and
by refimiog to lay hands suddenly on any man.
While the Priest ministers at the altar, they, like
Vestal Yirgiasy must see that its sacred fire
is fed, and that iniquity like a flood no longer
deluges the pilgrim sanctuaries.
THOMA4 SHEPARD. 139
To conclude. A thought which interests and
fills the soul when we read the lives of learned,
eloquent, yet humble, afiectionate men, is, that
these minds are not lost, but are now * living unto
Grod.' What an assemblage of greatness and glory
is gathered together in heaven ! What an amount
of sanctified, noble intellect! What vast variety
of character] what infinitely diversified powersi
God is constantly increasing the beauty and
glory of this society by the accession of great
and good men from this earth. As one and
another of the eminent servants of Jesus have
of late gone to their rest, and we have con-
templated their meeting in heaven with those
whose characters they and we have loved, how
desirable has it seemed to die ; nay, rather, that
whilst we live, we should, by all means, so im-
prove our Christian character, our intellectual
and moral powers, that we may be fitted for the
society of the great and just. May this be the
endeavor of all who reverence the name of
Shefard, or, like the members of this Church,
have in their pious recollection the example of
▲ FRIEND, whose life on earth has made him a
Morning star in the firmament of heaven.
/
/
i »'
\
I
i
ft
I
JUN 1 2 7356