The British drama

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60001 9078V

ri.aiVi-

Mf I- i(^

I

THE

BRITISH DRAMA.

^

It IB not easy, at the present day, to determine, whctlier the ancients were
acqoaioted with llial species of dramatic writing, whicli we call Furce. By
sooic Uie Satiric Drama of aiitiqiiity U considered as corresponding to tiiU
Uyle; while others are of opinion, that the Middle Comedy of the Greeks^
is the txue original of the English Farce.

Instead of entering; into a learned and tedious discussion of this question,
it will be mifhcient at present to observe, tliiit Farce ciinnot be deemed an ex-
act and legitimate a[)ecies of the Drama. It delights in exaggeration ; and, in
every portrait, itenlarges the features of tire individual beyond their true pro-
portion : so that, instead of real character, it exhibit!) to the view of the be-
holder an overcharged caricature. Us object is not so much to promote
morality, a» mirth ; and, while Comedy aims, by a <ieries of agreeable iucidentd,
to inculcate a precept, the only end of Farce is tu excite a laugh. Nor is
this a matter of so small importance as might at first be imagined. For
Scerne (see the Dedication to Mr Pitt inTristram Sliandy) hat observed,*' that
" every time a man smiles, but much more so when he laughs, it adds some-
" thing to this fragment of life." if this doctrine be true^ the contents of
ibis volume will certainly contribute something towards the longevity of tlie

From this description it will be obvious how much the writers of Farce must
DC indebted to the scenic art, for the full effect and success of their pieces.
Tragetly is able to support itijelf by ihe eleviilion of its language and the
diguity of its seutimeuU. The well-drawn characters, and dehcute strokes of

L-

11

wit, which adorn ihc pages of legitimate comofly, will delight almost us much
in the closet, as on the stage. But Farce, which is in itself a species of
broad grimace, requires all the mimickry of an actor, to set it off t<j ju};t ud-
Tdutage. Tragedy may be considered as a patlictic invocatiun to uiir pHS-
Btons ; Comedy as an easy and iiportive appeal to our reason ; but i'urcc ad-
dresses itself to the risible faculties only, and stands in need of all the tricks
and gestures of an actor, to enliven the character represented, and exhibit
those pecuharities of humour, which uo language can describe, and wbicli
none but tlie most vivid imagination is capable of conceiving.

It is an obvious deduction from these ubservatiuns. that, if Farce existed at
all in elder times, it could not have been accompanied with tliose charms and
attributes, that make it so universal a favourite at present; for the ancients
were lamentably deficient in the histrionic art : and the mask, which was oni-
Tcrsally worn by performers in those times, is alone suthcicnt to evince, that
the science of JuAt representation was then but little understood. A comic
piece, in a Greek or a Roman theatre, must have resembled the exhibition of
Puncli at Bartholomew-fmr more than the exquisite performance of " Nature's
" laughing cliildren" on the boards of Drury-Lane or Covent-Gardcn. For,
although the mask might give a just representation of features for a single
moment, it could not mark those successive changes of expression, which
constitute the charm of just acting. It robs us of the eloquent eye and the
genuine melody of voice. The stare of surprise, the sudden flashes of anger,
the pallid hue and tremulous accent of fear, are all lost under the monotonous
uniformity of a mask. 'i*he actor, who comes on the stage langhinE;, must
continue to laugh, when he has no longer any share in the joke. Though
cudgelled by his master, and scolded by his wife, he must grin on to the end
of tlie scene.

The multitude and excellence of our farces, then, may perhaps be in a great
measure attributed to the better construction of modern theatres, and to the judi-
cious rejection of the mask ; Norwill it be venturing too hold an assertion to af-
firm, thatOarrick would never have acted, nor Foolc have written, had they
Jived under the old theatrical regime. The discipline of the stage has a decided
influence upon the productions of the closet : and mimic excellence has often
excited into a flame the dormant spark of dramatic genius. It is related,
that Moliere, when yopng, accompanied by his father, went to the theatre at
ForLs, while he was yet undecided in the choice of a profession, and that

I

I

perfbrm&nce of the evenhig made such- a sensible impression on his mind,
M to dettrmine his inclination in favour of the Drama. And perhaps our own
dariing ShakeipeBre would have been known to us only as a sonnetteer, if the
genias of Britain bad not placed him within the sphere of a theatre, and ex*
pcMcd the unfolded germ of his mighty mind to the vivifying influence of
soeoic splendour, h is to be presumed, that tlie same cause, which animated
thrse great masters, impartedarajof inspiration to the humble professors of the
sock. Opportuuity may be called the stepmother of genius ; and the theatre, by
affording a ready and advantageous display to the productions of dramatic ta-
lent, has encouraged the race of dramatic authors ; as the royal academical ex-
hibition hasccttainly multiplied the number, and probably iucreased the energies,
of British artists. — With regard to farces in particular, as it is their object to
exhibit the drollery of character and laughable scenes of common life, they
may be compared to the humorous pictures of a Tenicrs, or a Smirke : and it
muu be confes^df that the British theatre is the first school in the world for
tkn ^lecies of painting. It is to the excellence of modern performers, to the
kvith decorations of the theatre, and to the improved art of stage effect, that
Farce acknowledges the highest obligations. Tragedy and Comedy may find
ID the theatric band a powerful auxiliary ; but Farce must be allowed to owe
almost its existence to it.

It remains only for the Editor to repeat what he has said in the former
volumes, as to the plan of this work. The collections of ibis kind have
hitherto been without any arrangement; but as Tragedy, Comedy, and Farce,
poMCMeacfa adistinctionof character, he flattered himself, that a separate and
syslTABtic arrangement would be acceptable to the lovers of the Drama.
Svch a plan exhibits, atone view, the full force of a nation's genius in each
mcpectivc line; and, while each ofthese volumes may be had separately, accord-
iDg Ut the taste of the individual, the whole work may be cousidered as tlie

CONTENTS

OP

VOLUME THIRD.

OPERAS MP FARCES;

Year. Page.

The Cheats of Scapin •* Otwat ••»» 1^7 ■ I

The Country House i • .-• VANBRtJGH 3715 -— — J5

The Conlriraitces Carey 1715 25

The VecU to Pay * Coffey - 1731 33

The Beggar's Opera Gay 1727 44

The Intriguing Chambennaid Fieidino ••• 1733 . 67

The Mock Doctor i • • * Ditto ■ • • 1733 ^ 75

Ckrononkotontkologos Carey 1734 86

TM Honest Yorkshireman Ditto 1736 93

The King and the Miller of Mansfield Dodsley 1737 101

Sir Join Cockle at Court Ditto 1737 110

The Lying Valet Garrick »• 1740 119

Miss in her Teens Ditto 1747 131

Taste FooTE 1752 143

Tke Englishman in Paris Ditto J753 152

The Knights Ditto 1754 l62

Tke Apprentice Murphy 1756 174

Tke Englishman returned from Paris • • •• Foote 1757 186

Tke Author Ditto 1757 199

Tke Male-Coquette Garrick 1758 212

Tke Upholsterer Murphy 1758 225

Tke Guardian Garrick I7$g 339

Year. Page.

High U/e Behw Staira ...Garrick 1759 251

TkeMmw FooTE 1760 264

ThtOldMaid Murphy 1761 281

TheCitixen Ditto 1761 293

TkeUar Foote 1762 308

TheOratort • Ditto 1762 329

The Dewe is in Him Colmas 1763 338

Love in a Village Bickerstaft 1763^ 349

Tke Mayor ofGarratt FeoTE 17^3 382

ThePatron Ditto 1764 370

Midas • Akonthous 1764 39^

The Maid of the MSt'' Bickerstaf? 1765 40/

Tke Commissary Foote 1/65 431

Neck or Nothing •«• Garrick -••• 1766 451

Peep behind the Curtain ..-Ditto 1767 465

Devil vpon two Sticks Foote 1768 477

Padlock Bickerstaff 1768 494

X)r Last in his Chariot Bickkrstapf & Foote 1769 ■ 505

LameLover Foote 1770 425

Maid of Bath Ditto 1771 542

Irish Widow Garrick 1772 558

SvUan Bickerbtaff 1775 572

Bon Ton '. Garrick 1776 580

Thru Week* after Marriage Murphy 1776 59^

THE

BRITISH DRAMA.

THE

CHEATS OF SCAPIN.

BT

OTWAT.

DRAMATIS PERSONA;

MEN.

TaiiFTT, an old miter, andfather to Octaviax.

Gvrr^fmther to Lcander.

I^tsDER, son to GftrpE, and privatefy married

to Lucia.
Ottavun, ton /oTnEirry, and privately married

'oClaka.

SCAPIN.

Shift, tervant to Octaviak.
Sly, $ervant to Leander.

WOMEN.

Lucia, in love with Lf-amdrr.
Clara, tn love with Octavian.

Scene — ZondoRi

ACT L

SCENE t

£nfer Octavian and Shift.

Oct. Tbis is unbappy news ! I did not expect
»T fatlier in two monuis, and yet yoa say be is
'•'Wned already,

S*ift. Tis but too true.

Ort. That he arrived this morning ?

^ft. This very roorning.

w. And tliat be is cnme with a resolution to
■wryiae?

%t. Ye^ MT, to marry you.

Oct. I am mined and undone I prithee advise
me.

Shift. Adrisa ^ou?

Oct. Yes, advise me. Thou art as surly, as if
thou really couldst do me no good. Speak ! lias
necessity taut;ht tbce no wit * Hnst thou no shift ?

Shi/i. Lord, sir, I am at present very busy in
contnving some trick to save myself! I am first
prudent, and then j^ood-natured.

Oct. How will my father rage and stonn, when
he understands what things have happened in his
absence ! 1 dread fais anger and reproaches.

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Otway.

Skijy. RepronchM ! WuulH 1 could be quit uf
him «i 4IIVV ; oicthujks I feel liiiu ulrcady on uiy
alMtiililvrs.

(kt. DiMiiherilinit is tltr least I cnn nxppcL

Shift. Vfiu fclioiilii have tboufihl uf tills licfurc,
tw\ not have fallen in love with I know not
wluini. t»ne that ycm tnct br chance in the I>o-
\cr-concli : She is triilt-etl, a ^o<xl stiu|> la»s; but
C<mI knows what the b besides; perhups some —

Oct. Villain !

iSAj7>. I have done, sir, 1 haic done.

Oct. I haxe no friend that can ajjpea^c my fa-
ther's antior, atwl uuw I shall be betraj'ed tu
wutt and misery.

9hyi. For rajr port, 1 know but one remedy in
oar oiisfuitunes.

Oct. Prithee, what is it?

<SAi/}. Yuu know that rogue and arcb-chent
Scapin?

Ori. Well; what of him?

Siiift. There is nul a more subtle fellow hreattj-
tng: so cunning, he *-ini elicat one newlv cluat*
cdt 'tis such a whceilting rojjtit, I'd underrakc, iu
two tMiurs he shnlt make your father forzivr von
all ; !!«», allow you money for your nfcessjjry
debauclies. I saw him, in tltrec dars make nn
old cautious lawyer turn cl>emist miJ {irojfctur !

Oct. lie is the AttL-sl fierKin in the world for
mv business; the in)|iudent iiirk-t can du any
tlun^; »iih the peevish old mnn. I'rithee, go loot
liiiu out; we'll K-t him a-work imirediately.

Skyi. See irbere he ciunes — Monsieur Scapin !

Enter ScAPi5.

Sea. Worthy sir !

Shift. I have l>€<n giving my master a brief
account of thy most uuble qunl'ilirs: [ told him
thnu wert as \aliant as a ridden cuckold, sincere
as nhorrs, honest us pimps in wane'

Sfa. Ala*, sir, [ but copy you : Tis you are
bmvc ; vou scorn lite ^bnels, hulteri, und pn-
Mn» which fhrcaieu you, and valiantly proceed
in f heals and n>bhi-ric!t.

Oft. Oh, Scnp'm ! t am utterly nitued without
thy assistance.

Sen. Why, wlut's the matter, good Mr Octa-
tinn ?

Oct. My fatber is this day arrived at Dover
with iAd Mr (iripe, with a resolution to marry
inc.

Sea. ^'ery well.

Off. Thou kn'twest I am already married :
How will my father resent my diu>(jedietK;e? I
am for ever loM, ui.le» thou cao'st find Kunc
means to reooitdli: me to liim.

Ufa. Docs your fitther know of vour marriaRe ?

Vet, 1 am afriiid lie is by this tune actjuaintcd
withiL

Sea. No matter, no matter; nil sliall be well.
I am public ^rited : I love to help distrc^Mrd
vuuug ^uitlcuicn: and, iltauk Ueaveo, 1 have
had flood MOnaBenou^

Oct. Besides my presentVant muat be conu-
dercd ; I »ui in rebellion without money.

Sea. I have tricks and shil^ too, to get tbflt:
I cnn cheat nptm ocea^on; but cheotinK is now
itrown an ill-lrade: yet, Ileavcn be thanked,
there were never more cullit-s nod fools; but the
ereatcst r<Kiks and cheats, allowed by public au-
thority, ruin such litUc undcrtradei^ as I am.

Oct. Well, (tetthec straight about thy busi-
ness. Canst thou make tut use of my rogue here?

Sea. Yes, 1 <^hull want his as^stance; tbo
knnve bus cunuiitg. and may be useful.

Shift. Ay. Mr ; but, like other wise men, I am
not ovcr-vnhanL I'my, leave me out of this bu-
siness: My fears will betray ;roa ; you sbai I ex-
ecute, I'll sit ni home and advise.

Sea. I Mnnd not in need of thy rounige, but
thy impudence; and tlrou hnst enough of that.
Come, come, thnn shall aloni; : What, man, stand
out for a beatiDf;? That's the worst can happen.

Shift. Well, %vcll.

Enter CtARA.

Oct. Here comes my deorcAt Clara.

Clara. Ah, mc. Octaviim ! I hear sad news —
They say your father is returned.

Oct. Alas! 'lis tnir, and I nni llie most un-
fortunate person in the world; but 'tis not my
own misery that I coniidcr, but yours. How can
you bear those wants to which wc must be both
reduced?

Ctura. Ijovc shall teach me — that can make
all things ensv to us; which is a sign ic is the
chiefest )^ood. But I have other cares. Wilt you
be ever constant ? Slmlt not your father's seve^
rity coostrnin you to be false?

Oct. Never, my dcoreht, never !

tiara. I'hey, ttiat love inucli, may be allowed
some fears.

Sen. Come, come ; wc have now no time to
lu-nr you ^pcak fine tender things to one another,
rniy, du yuu jircpare tu encounter with your fa-
thei-.

Oct. I trendilu at the ihoughls ofiL

Sea. You must appear resolute at 6n>t : Tell
him you enn live without trouhling him; threaten
him to turn soldier: or, what will frij^hten him
worse, lay you'll turn poet. Come, I'll worTBOt
you we bring him tu compn^cion.

(><;/. What would 1 (yvo 'twere over !

^'u. Let us practise a little what you are tn
do. .Suppohc me your father, very gmi-c, and
verj- uii^rv.

f></. M^elL

Sea. Do you look very carelessly, like a itmall
courtier ttntm his country ncqoaintuncc : A little
uigrc suHily: Vltv well.— ^Now, I am full of
my fadiei-ty authority. — Octavian, thuu makest
nic wuep to yee thti'; but, dlas ! thev arc not
t<ar» of joy, but tears of sorrow. Dkd ever mi
i^ood a fatlier beget so lewd n son ? Nay. but fiv
that I tliink thy oxiUwr virtuous 1 sbould pro-

OrwAT.]

BRirrSH DRAMA.

nnooce tboa art not miae ! Kcwi;race-bir^ rogue,
TiUun ! what a trick hast thou played me in mv
abscaeef Mamcd ! Yes. But to whom? Na;,
datt thou knowcst aoL Til wiumnt ynu MMiir
waiting woman, corrupted io a civil family, aiKi
ndttor>d to nne of the plaj-^tmiMs ; retnorcd from
thence by tame Iteepiog coxcomb, or

C&ira. Hold, Scapin, hold— - —

Sea. No oflcnre, Iniiy, I speAk but niiother's
words.— Thou abominable rascal, thou dhalt not
baf« %, eroat, not a groat ! Besides, I will brcalc
tit thTbooes ten bni« orer ! Ct'i thee out of

aty bouse ! Why, sir, you reply not a wurd,

bat Aaod as bashfully as a girt that is eitumncd
br a bawdy jtidge about a rape !

Oct. Look, yonder comes my father !

Sea. Stay, Shift; and get von twogoiK: Let
M alooe e'o manage tbc old fellow.

[Exeunt Oct. ai\d Ci^nn.

£«/fl*TattirTY,

T%riftif, Was iherp evir such a rash acllou ?

Sea. lie hn« Inxn ioforuied of the bii&ine»i,
wid ia now «o fall of it, thnt be rents it to bira-
ttif.

Thr^y, I would fain hear wliat they caa sav
for tbeittaHvM.

Sea. We are not ncprovided. [At a dittance.

Ttrijiy. Will Uicy be to irnpudeul to deny the

Sea. We neircr intend it.

Tlu-ifiy. Or will they endeavour to excuse it ?

Sea. That, perhaps ^c may do.

nrffim. Dtit all &hall be in vain.
orVa We

Sml Well try that.

Thf^y. I know huw to lay that ro^e my son

fUL.

Sna. That wc must prevent.

I^riOy. And for tlie tattcrdemnllion, Sluf^, Til
dwMh Itim to dsath ; 1 will be tliree year* a ctid-
pllinglkimj

5/t^. I wondered he bad forgot me tn Vm^.

Tknfiy, 0\u ho ! Yonder t^ rascal i», thnt
Inve tjovcnior ! he tutored my son finely !

Scm. Sir, I am overjoyed at your !wifn reiurn.

tlir^'ijf. Gofxl-momiw, Scapin. — —Indeed yon
hare followed my iiiMructionB rery c\actly; my
■M bma behaved himself vrr}' prudeiiUy in my
■kNooe— bas be not, rascal, has be not f

[To Shift.

Sem. I hope you an; very well.

Tknft¥. vVry well — Tbou tay'sl not a word,
twkt ■ tliou say'st not a word !

Sta. Had yoo a eood vovngc, Mr llirilty f

ITtrifiif, Ijtnl, sir! a very poi«l voy«ce — Hrav,
ptea man a Utile leave to'vent hischolcr !

Sn*. Would you be in cb(fler, sir?

Tkriftv. Ay, »ir, I would he in dtoler.

Sta.. Hny, witli whnm ?

Tkntty. With that confounded ro^c tlverc !

Sra, Upon vbsc reason i

7Vjy>y. Upon what reaw>n ! Hast thon not
beard what hath happr^ned in my absence i

Sea. I heard a httlc idle story.
'J'Arifiy. A little idlu story, qiintha ! why, man, I
my 5on'a undone; uiy son's undone ! '

Sea. Come, come, thin^ hnve not been well i
carried ; but I would advise you tn make, no more
of iL

TTirifiy. I'm not of tour optntun ; Til make the
whole town riuj; of it !

Sra. lord, mt, 1 have stormed about this biwi-
new as much *» yon can do for your henrl ! hut
what arc wc bfitli the beitrrr [ tnid him, indeed,
Mr Octavian, you do not do well to wronjr »n
good a father ; I preached liiui three or four
timcj* n^lcrp; but nil wgtilcl not do; till, at lastf :
when I had well examined the buMncvs, I found
you had not so much wrong done you as you inia"
ginc.

Thri/it/. How ! not wront; done me, to have
my son married, withnuimv consent, to a bi^garf '

Sra. AlaK ! he whs ordnnied to it

Ifiri/iif. 'ITiai's tine, indeed ! we «1ialt steal,
cheat, nirirdiT, and *o be hanged — then say, we
were ordained to it !

Sea. Tndy, [ did not think you so subtle a phn
lusopbcr ! I mean, bo was fairly engaged in this
ai&tr.

Thrifiii. Why did he rnpipe himjelf .'

Sea. Very true, indeed, vcrj true; but fve
upon yrtit, now \ would vou have him aa wi»c as

y«unclf ? Young men will have tlwir follies

wimcM my charge, l^aintcr, wlin has pMic and
thrown aMny hifUKlf nt a »lran^cr rate than your
son. I would fmn know, if ytm were not once
ynuni; yotjrself. Yes, I warrant you, and bad
your frailties.

Thrifiif. Yes; but they never rn?t me any
tltinjt : A man may he as fi ail and as wicked as
he ptense, if it eon Irim nothing.

Sen. Mas ! he wa^ » in love with the yoni^
wcnrh, tliat if he had not had her, lie rauM hare
ccrtuinly haiiped himself.

SAi/i. Must ! why, he had already done it, hut
that \ came very seasonably, and cut dii: rope.

Thrifty. Didit tlion cut the rope, dog? Ill
murder iJtee for that! thou shouldst have let him
liani: !

Sea. Besides, Iter kindred sorpriscfl him with
her, and forced him to marry her.

Fhrii)xf. Tticn should he have prevntly ^nne,
hud prote^iied a|^inst the violence at a notarV*.

Sea. O Lord, sir ! lie scorned that.

fhri/ty. Then might I easily Imto disannulled
tho Diarnu;^'.

Sea. Diwmnul the marri&gcF

Thrifty. Yes.

•Sra. Vou shall not break the marriage.

Thrifiy. Shall not 1 break it?

Sea.' No.

T^ifiy. What ! tball not! claim the pririlrge.

BdmSH DRAMA.

fOrwASf-

Dfa father, ftod hitre Mtifefoction for the violence
done lo tiiy son ?

■Sri/. Tia a iliinjE be mill never consent to.

TAnfti/. Ilf will uoi cotucnt to!

Sfa.' ?5o : Would vuu have hint conft-M howM

l|w't'lort'i) iiiUi »n^ tlii'iie, thnt j^, tu dcdHrc him-

rjclfa I'ltwnrdf Oti,fy, wr! uuc tliut liu& the ho-

nuiir of being your nan, ran m.'vi-r <lo hucIi a

thing.

Vkr^flp. Pi»h \ t»lk not to mc nf honour ! he
•hall do It. or be disinherited.

Sea. ^V'h4> «hnll disiiiltcrlt liini?

Thrinti. llnaMjll I, sir.

Sen, Vuu tltsiuJicfit hini \ vert good— —

Tfirifit/. How, vrry goiid ?

Sra. ^'nu >hNii lint dtsitilicrit him.

'lyirifty. Siiatl nut I diuulicrit hitn?

Scu. No.

nrifU. No!

Sm-'Ko.

TAn^jy. Sir, you arc fcrj merry; t &b«U not
duirihcnt my non t

•Vo No, 1 tt'l) v»u.

TArifiy. I'rav, uho t>halt liindtTme?

^ru. Ala&, lifr ! your onn Ktr^ sir; yuur n\TO

'Dtrifiu. I QiyKif ?

frti. 1 eSf tir ; for you can never have tlic heart
to dn iL
^ Jirif}j/, You shall fiud I can, »r.

Sea. Come, you deceive yoorwlf ; fatlierly af-
fectton must fehew iiself; it tnutii, itmunt: Do
not i kmtw vou were ever tciidcr-hcartcd i

ThriOv. You're mistaken, air ; you're inistB-
ken \ I'l^h ! why do I s|>end my brae in littic-

tatllf. Kith thth idle fctlow f lluug-dof*! gu

find out ray rake-hell [TuSuirT.], whiUt I^o lu
tny broilKT Gripe, anil infunu him of my misfor-
tune.

Sea. In the mean time, if I con do you any kt-
vicc'

ThnJIy. O ! I liiank you, Mr, I llwnk ynu.- —
[»»^TllBirTT.

S/iift. I must confess thou nna, brave felEow,
and our alBiin bc^n to be in u bettur puslurc —
Uit the nioocv, iJie inunuy wm are abomina-
ble poor, and my master has the lean vij:ltant
dllll^, that tonnciit him more than an old mother
docs a poor gallant, when she solicits a mointc-
nmicc for her diKarded daugbtcr.

Sea. Vnur nioner shall ha my next care— Let

nic we, I want a fi-Uow to (Jiunt thou not

ojunltrfeit a roaring liullv til" Alsaria?- Sialk

— look big — Very well. I'ollow mc : I havewayi
to dispuis«= lIiY vuii'L' and rounlcnniicc.

Sl'tj't. I'ray, lake a littli^ care, and lay your plot
S"i tliiit I may not ncl the bully always: 1 would
not be bonicii Ubc a hnlly.

Si-a. We'll share ttie danger, well fch&re the
danger. [£fnWk

ACT n.

SCEXE t-
En/*pTuRifTy and Cnirr.

Gripe. Sir, what vou tell mc conccrnir^ jour
fon. biith strangely iVustratcd oar dcitigiis.

Thrit'ty. Sir, Inuibte not yourself about my
son ; 1 have utidtrtuLcn to remove all obstacles,
which is the business X am so vigorously in pur-
suit of.

Gripe. In troth, sir, HI tell yna wluit Isfty to
Tou : Tlie cducaliun of chtldren, after the KetttDg
of ihetn, uii^ltt to be the nearest concern of a fa-
tlirr. And liud you tutored your son with (hot
care and duty incuiubent on you, he never could
ao Klightly l»ave torfciled his.

Tbnjiy. .Sir, to return ytm a frnlcnce for your
sentence : lliow that ore ao quirk to censure
»ii«l ninilpmn tlic conduct of others, uu^ht firat
tu l:ike i-arv iliai nil be ki-U at home.

Gripe. \>'hy, Mr Thrjuy, liate you heard any
ihiuf: c^Kcmiuf:; my mu?

Thrtiiy. It may be I Itave; and it maj be
worse limn of mv o«n.

Grijif^ What 14*1, 1 piny? my son?

'rkr\ttff. Kveii your own Slapin told itmc;
nnrl yuu may heur it from hmi, or fuinc body cIh: :
For iny puft, I aiu your I'noiidi uiid »ould nut
willingly be the mc&icnger of ill uetrs to unc that

Xftfrt-LtAJIDEB.

««k

I think so to mc. Yoor SGrrnni — I must luutcn
to my ruunctl, and ad%i<« what't* to be done in
this ca!«c. Good bu'y till I ^ee yr>ii nfiHiii.

' [Jirif Tnaim',
Oripr. Worse ttion his »on ! For my part, I
citnnoi itiia|i;iuc how; for n kon In mwrry impur
dently niilioui tiic ron«cnt of hii> futlitr. i«i as
prtat nn oifence iis can be imapiKdj 1 take i
Uut vondcr be comes.

I

I^tiu. Olt. my dear futher, how joyfid am Its
-cv you sttfely rctunitrd ! Welctmio, a^ the ble»-
&iii{r. which I am now craving, niil be.

Oripe. Not M) fii«t, friend a'luinr: 1 Mifk nnd
fair L:oes fur. sir. You arc ray son, as [ take it.

Lean. What d'ye mean, sir?

Gripe. Stand ii'till, ond let mc look ye m tht
face.

Leath lion must I etund, sir?

Gripi-. Look upon nic with boih eyes.

Lluh. Well, si.", I do.

6m/¥. Wlutt* the meaning of this repartf i

Lr»n. R/^pon, sir?

GrijK. \'c\ rc'|Hin, sir; I "peak KoflUii, R» I
take it: What ik't that yuu ItatedutH: ui my al^

BCDCe?

PrwAT.l

BRITISH DRAMA.

I

X/wi. Whtft i»X Mr, which you would have
}aA tat done!

Gfift^ I do not ask vnu, wHit I would have
had yvn dnne ; but, what tiitvc you dune ?

LruB, Willi' I,air? Wbjf, 1 have done nothing

Oi , iiiiigftt all?

XrfVA. No, ur.

Grtjt*. You have no impu<lcace lo spxak nii.

I^««(, Sir. 1 tuire the coulidcoce that bcconici
a tnau, and uxy iutiMtcncp,

Oripe. Vcnf well ; but Scapin, d'yr mark me,
jnuMi; nian, Scaptn liu tiild me vjuw ude^i of
yvac bvltarinur.

Lms. Scapin!

Gryte. Uti, have I cauftht vouF That name
mites je bliah» does it 1 ^'ia welt you Imve some

I^gm. Ums he finid any \hiu^ cnnc*niine toe?

Gripe. That shall b« examined anon : In the

mao while, get you h^ntte. d'ye licttr. and nw

till mjr nciini ; Uut loi>k to't, if lh<>u Ijiut done

Bin TtiiRt: CO di»boitnur me, never think to eotnc

within my dtwin, nr see my tacc more : but £!•

pKt la be miBvrable as thy folly and poverty ran

mAa thee \Erit Oiitpc.

Lenm. S'vTf fine: I am in n hr>)M>fut condition.

Tka nund hoi bclmycd my marring, and un-

iont mc ! Now, tltrre is no wmv Ic^ft but to turn

wltw, aad live by rapine -. antf, to Mt my band

Hi die 6ru tJunje shall be, to cut tlte tliroat of

lint perfidious pirk-tliaiik dog, tliat has ruined

ac.

EnlfT OCTAVIAX and ScApl^t.

Or/~ Drar Scapin, huw infinitely am I obliged
lathee fur tliv cnre I

Leaa. YoiHler he contes : I'm overjoyed to see
I«.«eod Mr Dog !

Sra- Sir, roiir most hotnhlc servant; you bo-
"•Bf me too far.

Uvu Vuu act Ad lit fooi's part ; but X sliall
tttehyoo.

ioLSirf

Wl iUM ! Leander.

hnn. \<i, Octavinn : lit make Itim ronfets the
fctKhcry Ite lia* cninniiltf-'d ; yt^^ viirli:!. doji ! I
bow tlw trick you have played me : You thought,
fBb|M, no bijdy would have fold mc. lltit I'll
nU yuu cunfctf it, ur Tli run my kword into
J*ir guu t

&a. Oh, sir, ur \ would you have the hQArt to
*»*idi a thing? Ilavc I done yoo any ii\j«iry,
if}

itnn. Yes niKttI ! that ron h^ve, and Itl make
••■«»•« It, too, t»T I'll ?t>vinge it oiil of your al-
****j utioed ihwk hidr. [Beets hm.

St*. TTie devil's lii'i! Lord, Mr! what d'ye
■*" ' ' j'lod MrLrander, pmy^ Mr Ijonii-
"^ ' ;iodcr — A» I hope to be sivctl —

-■i-., (Mi.H.i- bef|uiet: for ^hanic ! enough.

[inlrrfimcs.

Sea, Well, air; Icocifeis, indeed, that

J^an. What ! speak, rogue ?

^'ru. About two months ago, you may rcrnem-
Ikt, a moid scivant died in ibe bouse

XeoN. Wliatofall that?

Sea. Xay, sir, if I confess you must not be an-
gry.

-LroR. Well, go on.

Sea. Tvras said, she died for love of m^ art
Hut It't tliat poM.

Ixaa. Dentil ! you trifling buflbon.

Sea. About a WfCk after ncr dcuth, I drcst up
myself lilic licr ghust, and went iulo Madam Lu-
cia, your nii»trt:»i>'9 chamber, whcru &he lay hulf
ill, half out uf tied, with her woman by her, rcml-
iog an ungodly play-book.

Lean. And vraf, it voiir impudence did that ?

Sea. They both believed it was n Rh'Mt to this
hour. But it was myself played iIm: j^oblin, to
frighten Utr from the Hrurvy custom of lying
awake at those unreasonable hours, hcariitc fillliy
pliiys, when f>Ur had nrtcr «iid her prayers. '

Lean, I »hnll rcnieiaber you for all in time
and place: But coii>c to iltc point, and tell mo
irhnt thou hniit said to my father.

Sea. To your failierP I liuvi- not so luiidi aa
seen him since hi^r return, and if yuu would a>k
him, be'it tell yoa fio himself.

LritrL Yes, )m luld me himself, and lutd tno
all that thou lm»t said to him.

.Sift. Widi ynur good kave, sir, theti, he lied;
1 beg your parduu, I mean he wa« mi»iakcn.

Eater StT.

SI;/. Oh, sir, 1 bring you the most unliappj

nent !

Lean. What's the matter?

Siy. Your mistress, sir, is voodcr arrested in
»u action of 300t. TIicv say "'tis a debt she left
unoaid at London, in tlie liosle of her escufxj
hitner to Dover; and, if you don't raise money
within these two hours In dit^hargc her, bliu'll bo
hurried til prisciii.

I^an. NViiJtin these ttro hours?

Slv- Vci, sir, within ttuHW" two hours.

I^an. Ah, tny p«ior Scapin ! I W!int tliy a*si»-
tancp. [Stupis wulki tibont surlily.

Sco. Ah, my pmr Scnpin ! Now, I'm yoar
poor Scapin; now yomV need nf nie.

I^an. No niriro ! I pnrduii thee all that ibou
h(i<t done, and worse, it tliou arc guilty nf it.

Sen. No, un; never pardon ui* : ruit your
hword iu luy guti; you'U do better to murder
me.

fjenn. For nenvtm'» fake, think no more op-
on ihiit : but studv nnw to insist uic.

Oct. You must d'> .«oinctlmi)£ for him.

Sea. Yes, to tiave my buiiei bnAai for nj
poiiiv

Lean. Would you leave wc, Scopin^ in ihi« se-
vere extren/itr'

BRmSlI DUAMA.

[Otwat.

Sra. To pat siicti an nfTront upon me as you
dut!

Lean. I wronetHl Ui«c, 1 confcis.

Sea. To u«c me like n scnnndrRi, & villain, a
I; to threuU'u li> run your »word in my
guts!

Lean. 1 cry thy mercy with all my bean; uid
if ihou wilt have mc throw mvsclf at tliy feet,
I'll do it.

Oct. Taiih, Scapin, you must, you cannot but
yield.

Sea. Well, then : But dn you mnrit nie, sir ? an-
other time, brttcr worriii nnd grntter Mowc.

Lean. Will you promiic to mind uiy buii-
neM^

Sea. As I HG convruient, csae ^hall be tal.cn.

Lean. Dut tire tiiiu.* vou know is bhort.

Sea. Pray, sir, don't be M troublesome : How
fnucti inoncy i^'t rou want?

l^an. 'J'wo hundred pounds.

Sea. And vou *

Oct. A* much.

.Vh. [To I.tANUEit.] No more to be «aid; it
»lutll be ((ooe : For vou the contrivance u laid
filri-ady; mid for your fntlier, though he be cove-
tous irt Uir hi>t dogrt-e, yet, thiuiic!! be to Hea-
ven, he's hut n shallow person ; bi^ piirts are not
eslraordinnry : Uo not take it ill, sir; for ynu
luvu no rpMTubl'Micc of htm, but that yuu arc
very like turn. Ue ^onc ! I &«e ifctavta's father
Foniiog ; I'll begin with him.

[Kxtunt OcTAViAM and LcANDca.

Enter TiiHirrv.

Here he comes, mumbling and clicnin; the cud,
to prQ%-e himself a cleHn,iiefi»t,

'IVirifij/. Oh, audiicious boy, tn commit so in-
solcat a crime, and plunge himself in such a mis-
' chief!

Sea. Sir, your humble wrrant.

'fhrijlt/. How do yuu, -Scapin?

Seu, Whfkt, you arc rumhmtiog on your son*»
nuh nctton»?

Thrifty. Have I not rcaioo in be troubled }

Sea. Tlirlife uf man is full of truublcs, that's
tlw truth oit'c: Dut your phib'fupltPr is always
[ preparei). I re member an ciccllent proreiii of
the nncients, wry lit for your coie.

Tltrtflti. What*! that?

Sen. Pmy, miml H; 'twill do yc n world of
guml.

'Hirifh/. What i»'t, I nak you ?

Sea. Whr, when the master of n fuuiily hIihII

be nlwnt nor cuntidtTablc time from \i\\ home

or majiMou, be oughl, mttonnlly, gravely, wisely,

and ph)linop)iicnllv, to revoKx' within bi» uiitid

nil lite ri)i)<'tirr«nt cirt'itiii.'<tances thtd may, du-

I ring tlte interval, conspire to tlic conjunction of

1 tboeo mist'otTuneb, and tr'''iible'««ne accidents,

I ^bnt mnv iiitf rvciir iiptin the siid nbscncc, nnd

llie Inlrrruptitm of his ccunimal iuspcctiou into

the rcmisMiess, negligences, frailties, and huge

and perilous errors, which his subMituies *eT-
vaiits, or trustees, may be capable of, or liable
nnd obnoxious unto ; which may arise from the
imperfection and oorruptncis of ingenemt4*d ni-
tures, or the tunt and contagion of cnrruptert
education, whereby the fountain-head of man's
diflpO!)ition becomes muddy, nnd alt the streams
of liis manners and conversation run consequent-
ly defiled and impure: lliese thin^'!^ pmni»cd,
and forc<con»idercii, arm the said prudent philo-
sophical Paler-Familiiis, to find bis house laid
wnstP, his wife murdered, his daughters licftnii-
ered, his sons hanged :

' Cum muliis alits, qua; ntmc prescribcre Ion-
gum est.'

And to thank Heaven 'tis no worse, too. D'ye

mark, sir ?

Thrifhf. 'Sdt'alb ! Is all tlii<> a proverb?

Sea. Ay, anil the liesl proverb, and the wisest,

in the world. Good sir, get it by heart :

*Twil| do you the grcatei^t |;<K>d imapitiahlo ; and
tlun't trouble yoiirwrlf: I'll n-peat it to you tiU
you tmvo gotten it by heart.

Thrifty. No, I thauk yoa, sir; Til bare noue
on't.

Sea. Pray do, you'll like it better nrxt time;
hear it once more, I say When the mas-

ter of a— ^—

Thri/iy. Hold, hold ; I have better thoughts of
my own ; 1 am going to my lawyer; I'll aull the
marriiijje.

Sea, Cuing to law ! Arc vou mnd, to venture
yourself among lawyers? Do you not see every
day how the 5puti<;es suck poor clients, and, witn
a company of foolish nonaensical iernis, and kna-
vish inrk*^, undo Uic tmtiunf No, you sliall take
another way.

T/irif}y. You have reason, if there wtre aiiy
other way.

Sea. Come, I have found one. The truth is, I
have a great compawon for ywir Rrief. I mu-
uot, when I see tender fathers afllictt-d for Uieir
^uu's miscarriaf^es, but have bowels for them ; I
liavt much udo to refrain wf^jping for y«>u,

'Tknfttf, Truly, my case is sad, very sad.

^a. So it is. 'Icars will burst out; I have n
great respect for your person ■

\Cottnterfcitt tceepin^,

Tbriflv- Thank you, with all luy heart; tn
troth wcshould have a fellow-feeling.

Sea. Ay, so we should ; 1 assure you iliere i»
not a pcnHin in lite world whom I respect raure
than thf: noble Mr Thrifty.

Thri/iy. Tbou art honest, Scapin. Ha' done,
ba' done.

■Sea, .Sir, your most humble servant.

Thrifi^f. "Hul what is your way?

Sea! Why, in brief, I have been with the
brother of luv, whom your wicked sod has mar^
ricd.

Thrifty, What is he!

Otway.J

BRITISH DRAMA.

I

Sea. A inosi outrageous, roaring fellow, xvith a
fiown tianring took, conCncUd bfow, with a
ttw'eUed red faccj eoAamed with bntndy; one
that homta, puA, and boks big at nil miuikintl ;
roan out OAina, mA bellowB out curses ciiou^ti
in a da^ to ktvc a garriMu a week ; bred up io
blood and repine; used to slaughter from his
500^ Dpwaida ; one that mnkc« no mure cnn-
•dence of kiUine n inaa, thno crockiD^ of a
louse ; he has kil^ tiiteea ; four fur taking the
wait of him; fi^e fnr Umkiiif; ton big uprin him.
In abort, he is the must dreadful of aU tbc race
ofbulbM.

T%ri/iv. Heaven ! Iiow tlo I tremble at tlic de-
»cn(jli<m ' But wluu's thin tu my business i

Jyrtt^ Why, he (as must bullies are) 19 in want,
and I have broucbt Inm, hy ihreatcntn^ him with
all the courses uf law, all ihc asMStance of your
friends, and yuur great |]ur&c, (in which I vcii-
tnn^ uty Itfc ten times for so oHcn he drew
nod nin at me) yet, J mv, aU last I have inadc-
him beurkeo to n conip<i»ition, luid to null the
anrmee for n sam of money.

Thnfijf. Thanks, d«ar Sctpin, but what sum ?

Sea. Mttth, be was damnably unrcnsottable ui
fir»t ; ajtd gad, 1 told him so very roundly.

Tki'ij'ty. A pox on him \ what did he ask ?

Sem. A«lt I ILing him ! why he a&ked five huo-
drrd pounth.

Jltrij'ly. Ouns and heart, 6vc hundred poiindn !

fire hundred dcviU take hiin and fry and

fridcaaee tite dog ! does be uke me for a mud-

Sf.a. Wliy, so I said? and, nAcr much argu-
ment, 1 brought him to this : *' Diunme,' sa.y s he,
* I am going to the army, and J muit have two
' good harm for myself, for fear one should die :
' and thoM* will cost at lea&t tlirce Korc guineas.'
Tkrifty. \i»a% him, rogue ! why should he
havt two bones? But I care not if I give tliree-
Kore gobiMU to be rid of this al&iir.

Sem. Tben.%ays he, * my pistols, saddle, horse
' dotb, nod nil, will cost tweaty more.'
lArj^/V. Why, that's fourscore.
&«. \i'elJ reckoned : 'FaitJi, this aritliinclic U
tfiae art. Then, I must ba\e one fur my boy
■iUont twenty mure.

1\nfi»f- (3h, the devil ! confounded dog I let
biB go and be damned ! I'll )pve bim nothing.
Sea. Sir.

T%rifttf. Not a sous, damned rascal ! let him
kn KiQC-«oldicr. and be haugcd !

&■. lie ln« a man besides; would you have
ba £0 a-fonl .'

tir^y. Ay, and his master, too; 111 have
■Hkuig to do with him.

Sw. Well, yt>n are resolved to spend twice n«
Madi at DocturVCoinu»)ns you arc; you wiU
MaA not for such a sum as this do.

n'tOj). fK damned, uncon^aoui rascal ! well,
if It Bost be SO, let him Itave the other twenty,
Sh. Twenty ! why, if comes to fortjr.

Thri/li/. Nov ril hare nothing to do in it. Oh,
a covetous rogtw ! I wonder he is not ashamed
tu be BO covetous,

S*-a. Why, ibis is nothini; to the cliargc at
Doctor's Commons : and Uiuugh her brother Ima
no money, she has an uucleabfc to del'eud her.

THrii\y. O, eternal rojfuc ! well, I must do
it ; the dm-irs in liim, I (hluk !

Sia> Then, says he, *I iiiuft carry into France
inouuy to buy a mule, to carry ■

Thriflv. t-el him go to the devil with h'la
mule ; I'D af^Kal to the judge^t.

&a. Nayt^ood sir. think a httle.

Thrifttf. No, I'll do nothiu;.

Sea. S;r, sir; hut one little muleP

'i^''i/^y- No, not bO much as oui as«!

Sea. Coufiider.

Thnjlif. I will not consider ; TU go to law.

S-ca. I om sure if you go tu law, you du not
consider the appeals decrees of jurisdiction, the
iuuicAte proceedmgs the knaveries, the craving
of So many ravenous animals, duit will prev upou
you! villainous harpies promoters, tipstaves, ^
and the like; none of vvhirti but will puff uw-ay
the cictiresi right in the w irld for n bribe. tJn
the other side, the proctor *hall side with your
odversanr, and sell yonr cause for ready money :
Your uOFocate shall be gained tlie same way,
and shall not he found when your cause is to tie
hciird. Law is n torment of all toniifiKs.

Tkrijly, Ttwt's true: Why, what does the
damned roi;ue reckon for his mule ?

Sea, Why, for horses furniture, niulo, and la
pay some swircB that are due to his Inridlndy, he
dcuiniids and will huvr, two hundred pounds.

Thriftif. Come, come, let's go to law.
[TuKUiY walks tip and down in u great Aeaf.]

Sea. Do but reilect upon

Thr(ft^. I'll Z't Io Inw.

5ro. Do not plunge yourself

Thrifttf. To Jaw, 1 tell you.

Sea. W hy, there's for procuration, prcsenlaliofk
councils productions, prnctrirs nltciMlunco, and
scribbling v.-iitt vulumesnf intrrn>;;atorics deposi-
tions and nrticles, coiisultntioiiv ami pIcHdiiigs of
doctors f'"" l'*^ register, substitute, judgments
siptings — Kxpetlition fees bc&ides the v. 1st pre-
sents to them and their wives, llniig't! I lie fel-
low is out of emptoymeut; give bim the money,
give him it, I hny !

Thrifiy. Wlint, two hundred pounds !

Sea. Ay, ay; why, you'll gain 160 1. by it, I
Irnvc summed it up ; I say, ffve it him, rfaith
do.

Thriftif. What, two hundred pounds !

Sea. Ay; besitles, you ne'er tliiiik liow they'll
mil at you in pleading, tell all your furiiicnlions
bnstjirdmgs, and cnmmutini'S in their courts.

'Jfirifiy. 1 defv them; let them tell uf my who-
riii^^'tis the fasliiun !

Sea. Peace 1 here's tlie hrotlier.

Thrifty. O Heaven ! what shall I do ?

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Otway.

Enter Shift, dUguited like a BuUtf.

Shift. Dainmc! whcre's this confounded dog,
this feather of Uctaviaii f Null the marriage \ hy
alt the honour of inj ancestors, I'll chine the vil-
lain !

Thrijiy. Oh, oh !

[Hideg himself behind Scapin.

Sea. He cares not, sir ; lie'il not gi?e the two
hundred pounds.

S^ijt. ay Heaven! he slioll be worm's meat
within these two hours !

Sea. Sir, he has courage ; he fears you nut.

T/irifiy. You lie, I have not courage; I du fear
him mortHlly !

Shifi. He, he, he ! Ounds he ! would all his
family were in him, I'd cut off root and branch.
Dishonour my sister! This inliisguts! What
fellow's that? hn! -

Sea. Not be, sir.

Shi/i. Nor none of his friends f

Tnrifiif, No, sir ; hang him, I am his mortal
enemy !

Shift. Art thou the enemy of that rascal ?

Thrifttf. Oh ! ay, hang him Oh damned

bully ! \_Aude.

Shift. Give me thy hand, old boy ; the next sun
shall not see the impudent ru^cai alive.

Sea, He'll muster up all bis relations against

Thriftjf. Do not provoke him, Scapin.

Shift. Would tlicy were all here — ha, hn, ha !

[He forms every way with his suord.

Here I had one through the lungs, thcru another

into the heart : Ha ! there another into the guts :

Ah, rogues! there I was with you— hah ! hah !

Sea. Hold, sir; we arc none of vour enemies.

Shift, No, but I will find the villains out while
my blnod is up ! I will destroy the whole family.
Ha, ha, ha ! {Exit SurrV.

Thrifty. Here, Scapin, I have two hundred
guineas about me, take them. No more Co be
■aid. Let me never sec his face again. Take
tlicm, T say. This is the devil !

Sea. Will you not give them him yourself?

Thrifty. No, no ! I will never see liim more :
I shall not recover this these three months ! Sec
Ute business done. I trust in thee, honest Sca-
pin— I must repose somewhere — T am mightily
out of order — A plague on alt bullies, I aay !

[Exit Thrifty.

Sea. So, there's one dispatched ; I mui.t now
iind out Gripe. He's here; how Heaven brings
them into uiy iicrs, one after another !

Enter Gripe.

Oh Ilcnren ! iinlookrd for misfcrtune — poor Mr
Gripe, what wilr thog ttn '

rHV(,'A:s u(»ml distractedly.

Gripe. Whfit's tliat lie i\t\s of nie ?

Sea. U there nobody cuu tell me news of Mr
Gripe ?

Gripe. Who's there? Scapin!

Sea. How I run up and down to find him to no
purpose ! Oh ! sir, is there no way to hear of
Mr Gripe ?

Oripe. Art thoo blind ? I have been just under
thy nose this hour.

Sea. Sir

Gripe, What's the matter?

Sea. Oh I Sir, your son —

Gripe. Ha, my son —

Sea. Is fallen into the strangest misfortune in
the world !

Gripe. What is it?

Scu. I met him a while f^, disordered for
bomcthing you Imd said to him, wherein you very
idly made use of my name, and, seeking tn di-
vert his melancholy, we went to walk upon the
pier : Amongst other things, he took particular
notice of a new caper in her full trim. The cap-
tain invited us on board, and gave us the hand-
somest collation I ever met with.

Gripe. Well, aud where's the disaster of all
this ?

Sea. While we were eating, he put to sea; ond
when we were a good distance from the shore,
he disoivercd himself to be an English renegado,
that was entertained in the Dutch service, and
sent mcoff in his long-boat to tcU you, diat if
you don't forthwith send him two hundred
pounds, he'll carry away your son prisoner ; nay>
for aught I know, hc'U' carry him a dave to Al-
giers.

Gripe. How, in the devil's name ? two hun-
dred pounds !

Sea. Yes, sir ; and more than that, he lias al-
lowed mc but un hour's time ; you must advise
quirkly what course to take, to save an only son t

Gripe. What a devil had he to do a shipboard ?
— Run quickly, Sciipin, and tell the villain, I'll
send my lord chief justice's warrant after him.

Sea. Ola! his warrant in the open sea ! d'ye
think pirates are fools ?

Gripe. I'lh' devil's namc^ what business had
he a shipboard?

Sea. There is an unlucky fate, that oflen hur-
ries men to mischief, sir.

Gripe. Scapin, thuu must now act the part of
a faithful servant.

Sea. As how, sip I

Gripe. Th'iu must go bid the pirate send me
my son, and stay as a pledge in his room, till I
can raise the money.

Sea. Alas, sir! thinic you the captain basso
little wit as to accept of such a poor rascally fel-
low as I am. instead of your ^on f

Grijic. \^'^nlr the devil did he do a shipboard ?

Sea. D'ye remember, sir, that you have but an
hour's time ?

Orif-e. T'loii sayest he demands

iS(«.- Tw-i liiindird pounds.

Gripc.^ wo hundred pounds ! Has the fellow
no conscieuce ?

3

Otwat.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

Sn. O In ! ifte coMcietice of a pirate * why,
«cnr (vw Invifu) capuuiik h»vv ■M^y.

Onpe. I!u5 he noi reason ncilhcr? Doc4.lic
luKHT wfau the Mini two hundnd puunils U i

Sn. \e% Mr; lar(>ntvliii& are ii »iirl of people
that underhand rii>^acy, llfiogti llvcf liitvc no
pVAt •oquniiitoncc <ritli Ktisc. But, for Ilea-
tm's Mikr, di>paich !

(rrifw; Ucr^ take Uw hejr of my counting*
bouse.

&c So !

Gr^r. Ami opm iL.

Snib V'try komI !

Gfipe. Ill ihr U^fi-hitni) winduw lic« rh(^ kevof
■tj garret ; s», t«^0 all the cliuhr^ lliut art- ui
Ihe icreat chcvt, autl »eJI tfacm to ihc brotrrk to
mlrvui uiy smi.

&-•. Sir, you're mad ! I shan't net AOy shil-
liuv> I'ur ill thut's (here* uod you know that I am
Hniitcned for umr.

Gript. What a dcril did ho do a ithipbiMin) !

Scm. Let •ht|]boMrd bIoiic, wid consider. Mr,
^r «jn. But Heaven's my witness, 1 fintv
doae fur biia a* miK'h a» was pw^blc ; and il'
ht be not rcdceuieii, be may ibwik bu ffttiit:r'>

Gn|p«. Well, »jr. HI ed ww if I caii rurse tlie
aoticy — ttikk it run ninesrorc pouudi yuu spoLc

Sra. No; two hnndrcd ptmoda.
Grtpe. What, iwohundred poundi Dutch, ha?
&«. No, lir : I mean Englisn fiKmey ; two hun-
dnd pounds ^icrlinjT,
Grtpfc r th* drriC* nnine, what busines* lintt

Sen, \\{t^ ^piroaid MJcLs in l>u stonuii-h.
GftftC. llubl, ;>rapiii '. I rcmrralKT I rerrivcd
lite Trrr sum juit lu/w in ydid, hut did uvL lUiiilt
Idioald hnvr pmricd with it ad soon.
[fit mrtamti ScAPtn kU parte, but will not
iti H ga : aud in hit traHBfwrlnKMtt,
ptil/i All arm to and fro, ahiUt SckVis
rfrntknut it,
Sim. Af. »lr
Cjri^. Uut (cU tbe captain be it Uie »bn of a

&•«. Ye% •r.

Gn^e. A da|;balt !

SriL 1 ^tiall. kir.

Gnjpr, A thttfl a rvbber! and that he Torres
Mf til put hina two buodrcd pooiKb coutrary to
lU U« ijf eajuuy !

km. Sty, let me alone with him.

Gripe. That I will oever forgive him, dead or
alive.

Sea. very good.

Grtpe. And that if ever I lii>hi on him, I'll
murder him privalelvt and fccJ d»i:s with him.

[ Ih- pHti up All parir, uid i$g<HHg ainij|ti|

Gripe, Now, make baste, and go and redeem

Sra. Ay; but d'ye bear»5ir? wbere's the mo-
ney?

Oripr. Wni I niit eivc it tlwe ?

Sra. Iiidted, sir, you made me bcltcvc yrm
wmild, but you forgot, and put it in your p^ti't.ot
aKtiiiL

Gnpr. Ila — my griefs and fcon for my son
inaku me do I knovr nut what !

Sen- AVt Mr ; I m« li dnei iiid«fd.

Gript, What a devil did be d-t a shipboard f
dumncd pirate ! diuimed renctjade ! all llic di i il« '
m hell pursue ihe«! \Eiit.

Si-a. How iiisily a miser swalhmrs a IfNid. und
how ilitfirultly he dift^^orKes a Ki^ii ! Qu^ I'D >*oK
kitvr hnn so; hc'<i hke to pny in other cuio, fur
tclhng mles of me to bis xm.

i,'»i/fr OriAViiN Afiif LtASPCR.

Well, sir, I hnvc surccetled in your biiMnesa;
tlierp's two hundred pounds^ which I have 54)nce»>
ed out of your futher

0(-( rnum^^aju Scapio !

Scu. But fur you t can do nothins.

['/*<> LCAXDER.

Lean. Then may I no hanji; mysolf. l-'rieodd
boili, adieu !

•SVa. n'«c benr, d*>e bear? the devil h».t no
such urcc««jty for you yet, that you oc«il ndo
po4t. With much udo ISe got your buaiDcas
dune, too.

Lean. IVt powihir ?

Sfa. But on condition that you prrtnit me to
reveiiiie myself on your father, for lite trick he
lias served me,

Ijeun. With all my heart; at thy own discre>
tion, i;iK>d himi?«t Smpin.

Sta. Hold your hand; tlicrc's two hundred
pounds.

JL^aa. My thanks are too many to par now :
Farewell, dear aon of Mercury, oiid tc pruvpcr-
ous.

Sf«, Oramrrcv, Pupil. Hrnce we tafher.
Give sou the money, hang up t'til'irr.

[£xcaaf.

Vm Hi

10

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Or WAY.

ACT m.

SCEVt I.

Enter LrciJt and Ci.*n.\,

Lac. Wiis cTcr aiitli n tnck played, for ns
to niri nwnjr from our Rovcmrs^iCa, where oor
mvtrul fntlirnt htul plact-ti us, to I'dIIqw n cutiple
o( vuunc ertitlctimii, uiil^ lircaiine titey >aid tlicv
lumt ii>? 1 lliuik 'cwas a very noble ciiterprize !
I mn nfraid ihr giiod furlune vc klmll get hy it,
will \rrv hitrflly rccoinficnftv ihe rcpuutlun wc
hnvp luii liT it.

C/«. fliir iirtmiP-n Kit i-ifnr lion is ll"»t tlicv arc

men uf fii^hion mid credit : iitid, for my part, 1 long

nfp resolved not to many nny ollter, norwicli mi

One neither, till [ Imd n p«-rfert ronfirmntion of

I bis lot c ; nnd 't*as an osMirance of OctarioD't

' llint brouplit in«- tiithtT.

£•<-. I muKt cuiitcM, I liati no Icn k senie of
the fnitfi Knd homiiir of Leundcr.

Via. Bui seem* it imt wonderful, that the cir-
cnnislanrw nf our fortune oliuuld be m> nenrly
allied, (indour«clf9o iiiucli strnncers? BcMdcn.
if I iniMnkc DDt, I ^oc Kniii'thioK in Leaiidtr. m)
niurit rcseipblii'd a I'mtlicr nf mine uf the
I -tatiir itaiiio. that, did not the time since I saw him
make mc fearful, I shiinld be uficii Apt tu call
hnti sn.

Jmc. I Imvc a brother too, whose nameV

Octnvinn, bred in Iinly, Kud just a^ my father

Imik his rnyace, returned home; not knowina

where to find me, I belierc n the reason 1

have not seen luni yet. But if I deeeive not

L'sny^elf, there \n f>nmetliin^ in your Octuvinn

"that extremely refreahca luy mnmorjr of him.

C/a. I wiih Me might be «i nnppy «» "c

arc inclined to hope : but ihere'-) a stren^t.

I blind fide in mir nature*, which always mnkea

1^6 apt CO bvlicre, wlmt uc nwMt cnriiestly dc-

rire.

Imc. I'bc worst, ut I'.istf is but to be forsaken

by our fnlhers: And. for luy piirt, I h:id rwlliir

l(iM> no uld fiuher tlian n younie lover, when I

innir with reptttatioti keep him, nnd »M'iir« iny-

self iif^inat llie imfio<>itu>n of futlK-rly Ktiitiority.

eta. How umnHemhlc i« ir to be Micriticed to

\ live nnits of n nniiu'(»ii<i hlnt-k he-ad, limt lw« iiu

Dlhrr tcnie ihuii to cnl mid drink, when 'tis pro*

ilrjdfd for him, ri^ in lite momiuy;, nnd p> to bed

Ht nitht, and with inuUi ado be persuaded tu

Icerji liiraM-lf clenn !

Lur. A Uiioi: of mere f\^*b nnd blood, nnd
ibutnf the wnnil Mirl lixt, with n squinting mea£rc
])ao)^du^ romitutnnce, that lool(& as if bt.' uliray*
wnuted filiysic fur the worms.

Cfv. Vet MH b llioir »illy parents are pencrallv
n)o»t mduIrPiit to; like njje!, uevtr «> "t-il
deaMd a» when the^ arc f<>uJling witli tltclr ii^ly
sue.
Jmc. Twenty to ooe, but to wmc sodi char-

ming creatures our carefal fathers bod designed
us!

eta. Pnrenti think they do their daui;liiort
the treutcst kindness in ihfr world, when they
itet them f<N>l9 for their husbnnds ; and yet lun
Very apt tu tukc it ill, if they iiutkc tl>c right use
of I hem.

7,nc. I'd no more be bonnd to spend my days
in niurrin4:c lu a f'xil, because I might rule hrim,
than I uuiild ulivayi ride aii 9M, because lIib
creature was «entli*.

Citi. Sef, hen-'* Scnptn, i» full of de*igDi
nnd afTura, as u callow ttati-uuau at a treaty of
peace.

Enter ScAPt5.

Sea. Lndies!

Cla. Oh, mo»«icur f>niptn! What's the reason
you have been but ti a stmtitcr of late i

Sea. luith, ladiCN huimei^s busincM ha.'* taken
up my time ; nnd trtdy I love an uctivt- hfr, U>v«
my busin*-?*!! extremely.

Luc. Mt-think^ thoujih, this should be a diffi-
cult plaiT fur a m^in of ymir cxccllcncJca lo liiid
emp'nymeni in.

.S"n. Why faiih, mattam, I'm never shy to mw
friends: My business is in short, like that of aFl
other men of business, diligcntiy contriving how
to pinv the knave, and cheat to e;et ati liunesi
Ivvelihood.

C'/s. Certainly men of wit and ports need
never br dri%-en tn indirert aiursrs,

tSra, Oh, tnudum ! nit ntid liomstr, like oil
nnd vioecitr, wilb mucli iido mingle to^cdicr*
give n rcn»)i to a ^nnd fortune, and pnss well
t-'noiigh for sHucf-, but arc very thin fare of thent-
4rlvcs. No, G;ive me your koave, your tlioroagb-
paced knave ; hang Iub wit, so be be but rogue
cuougb.

Luc. You're grown very much out of hunmor
with wit, Scapin ; I hupc youn has done you no
prejudice of late }

.'<ctt. No, madam ; your men of wit are K°^
for infiliinc dull, Ur/y, restive snails; 'tis your
uiKlcrtakinit, impudent, pushing fuol, that cutn-
m:iiidft his fortune.

CVu. You lire very open nnd plain in tlii«t pro-
ceeding whtttever you arc la otliera.

Sc«. Duuic K'lrtune, like mou other* of th«
female mix (I ipcA nil tlii& with rcbpcct tu your
ladyship), is cinciallv moist indulgent lu tbtt
nimble mettled bluckfiriid^ ; men of hh are mit
for Iter torn, cv»t tii«> thnncbtful whim they
should l>e nctitc : Why, whu believer an v man
of wit to Itave so much as courage? No, l*dif*s
if yc'vc any Iricivds tliJit hope to rai^e lhcm*eJve«,
adv iM^ them to Ite ns mucii fouls k« ihey t-un, nnd
tlicy'll never witut pntn'Uit: And for honesty, if
your liulyship tbiuk ^t tu retire a littk further.

Or WAT. 3

BRITISH DRAMA.

I

you thftU Me tne perfunn upon a gentlcmitn
UnuS coouns this ivuv.

C/iT. Pnthfc, Luritu let as retreat n little, and
tmke thij opiwirtunity of *i.iu«; divert nicinenl, whicli
kmi been vcrj scarce hire hiilicrUi.

Enter SHirr, with a Sack.

S-tf. OK Shift!

Ml/. Spvnk iMJt too loud; my mulpr*9Comni|z.

Seu- I'm ^ad aii't, t «hnll temli bim to bctruv
Hie KUiEs of bb Iri^nd. If auy iqaii pots a
ttiA upoo mc without return, oia,v I lt»e tlli^

I

Shift. I wonder Ht ihv t'olnur; thou art con-
tfmtally icotunni( that ttod\ of thinp^ in tlif iii-
<lignitv of bnu&cs, tuid iiuleccnl ba!>tiimdi)e».

Sat. I>iriiciiltiet in udtciitures inukc ihi'in plcn-
mxa. when a/cnmpltAlvrH.

£A jff. But vour adventure^ how cmnicsl soever
■n (hs bCf^oniDg, arc 5ure tu be tragical in the
end

Sea. Tu oo matter ; I hate your pusillanimotu

tfitnl : rr\'eit^e mid leclterT arc never »i plea-

■at M wtirn you venture bard tur them : be-

gaub ! Uere cornea wy uiaii, [£ra Siitri.

£«/irr GftiPE.

Oh. nr, fcir, flltift for yoiirseir! quickly tir! quick-
ly lir ' for llravenS tnke !

Gripe. What's (lie mailer, mnn?

Sea, tlenveo ! \s ihio a lime to ask questions?
Will yoa be murdt-rcdinitantlyr I nm nfraid yuti
will M killed within ihete two minutes I

Cript. Mert-y on mc ! killed! fjrwlutt?

Sft, ni«?»' lire e^*Tv where looting out for you.

Grifft. SVho? Who?

5r«. The broib^-r of her nlwni your ton luw
stamcd ; licS a rnptiuu of u privateer, who has
mil iorta of rogues Eiiqlish, &i:otrh, Welsh, Irish,
Frvncfa, under bis ainitnaiul, iumIhII Wuvg in wuit
uomt or ■varcfainit fur you in kill you, Iiccuums you
would null the marrit^ : Tt)*.*v run up nod down,
cnrinc Whrit: » the rouue Onnc? Where \f, the
dof^ Where \\ the slave Gn|je? IVy nntrli
lor ygu w narrow ty> that there's no getting home
to vaur bouM!.

Gnpc. Oil. Sc^pui! what »hall [ do? What
will b^-ootnc of inef

Sttt. \ay, llet^rcn kriows ; htit, il you come
witbui their rruch, thi-y i*ill Oe \VU yuu ; llicy will
te«r «uu in pici'et ! Ilark I

Cripr. (I l^rd !

Sra. Hum ! 'tis none of them.

Chpr. (.-anK thou tind no w)iy for nty 'escape,
darSc«piii?

Scm. I think 1 have found one.

Qrife. (JDod Scapiii, i^liow thyself a nmn, now.

Stm. 1 aball veitturc being most inioKjidcratflY

Oripe, Ocv ^cHpin, do: I will rewnrd thrc
baaneoMlvi 111 ^ive thee thibtmii, when [ have
*oni it eigpt or nioe iDoiitlu longer.

Sat. listen I who are lltet«?

GrtfTe. Uod forgive noc! LocmI have mercy

llplll) 119 !

S'a. No, ihores nobody : Ixm>)(, if you'U save
your life, ^o into thU sack prcseutly.

Gri/ie. Oh ! »hn'B thercr

Sea. NolwMly : (ict into the sack, and «t!r not,
whatever happon* : I'll curry vuu as u bundle of
Sotidk, ttiroiiKM all your enemies '" t'^; major*!
'luuRe of tlie cuatle.

Gripe. jiVn admirable invention! Oh, l.Ard!.
quit:k. [Cffi intti (A<' *ack. ^

Sra. Yes, 'li« an etrellent invention, if \ou
knew all. Keep in your head. Ob, here's a rogue
ruming to look fur you !

Sc*pis rountrrfeitt a Wclthman.

Do you hearf I prny tftiu f veherg is Leandet^t
father^ took tfou f

In hit otm voice.

How should I know i What would you have
with him t Lie close. [AtiJc tu Cuipe.

//(ire uitA him ! AwJt _yoM, har Aoi no frtut
pUiACit, hut her uoutii huie mlufartiOHS and rv'
partitions, look f/ou^ for credit and konourt i hit
St Taiy, he shall not put the injuries and ^-
j'rOHtX UIHm my Ctiptuiut, hiok you noir. ur.

He onroat the captain ! He meddles with no
man.

You hffy tir, look you, and hur mil give yrm
hratitig* and chattitrmrnti for your contridic
lions, rchtn hur Write plooiU up-, look ynw, And
hur will cudfitl your pack and your nootleijor
it i take you tkat, pray n'ttc.

[Deat& ttie sack.

Hold, hold; will jou murder mc r I know not
where he is, not I.

liiir will teach tauey jackt hoK they provoke
hur WeUe ploodt and hur collars: and for the
old rtfgiie-, hur will hate hit guts and his ptiiod^
look you, sir, or hur vitl never wtur leek upon St
Tutys day more, look you.

Oh! lie has mawled mc ! A damned Welsh
roaml!

Gripe. You! Tlie blows fell upoo my shoul-
ders. Oh!

Sea. Twas only the eml of the stick fell on
you; tlic maiu substantial part of tlie cad(^I
iijfhtcd on inc.

Gripe. Why did you not stnnd further offi

Sea. Peace — HiTc'3 uiollicr rogue.

In a iMncathire dialeet.

YawfoUee a»* th' tack there, done yaw kmiw
uhcar th' au-d ruKol Griap it Y

Not I ; but he is no ruM:al.

Yaw Uen,yaw dtiuge : yuw knute weel rnutch
u-heur he is, an yatcden tell, and that he ii ajotp
ratcot as any in aw the town ; I't tell a th^
by'r lady.

Not It sir; I know neither, not L

la

BRITISH DRAMA.

[OrwAT.

By th^meuy an €nf tack thee in hont, ay's rad-
dle the bones on thee ; ay't keeble thee to tome
tune.

Me, sir ? I don't understand yoa.

H hy^ that^rt hii mm, thaio 'hobbie ; Fli mite
th^ naa a' thee.

Huld» hold, sir ! what would yoa hne with
him?

Why, I tmin knock him down with my kibbOy
the Jirst bawt to the fcrawnt, and then J mttn
beat him to pap, by thT meis, and after ay mun
cut off the lugs and noes on 'em, and ay root, h^U
be a pretty ncatley feltee, bawt lugt and naet.

Why, truly, sir, 1 know not where be is; but he
Went du«D that lane.

This hue, Miyn ye ? Ays find him, b/r lady,
«tt he be above grawnt.

So, he'b pone ; a danined Lancashire rascal !

Gripe. Oh, good Scapin ! go on quickly.

[OaiPE pops in his head.

Scapt Hold ; here's another.

Jn an Irish tone.

Doest thou hear, Sackman f I pritkee whare
is that damned dog, Gripe Y

Why, what's that to you? What know I?

What's that to me, joy If By my tboul, joy, I
mil tay a great bloj>< upon thy pate, and the de-
vil take me, but 1 will make thee know tehare he
is indeed, or I'll beat upon thee till thou dost
knOK, by my salvation indeed.

Ill not be beaten.

Nov, the devil take me, I swear by him that
made me, if thou dost not tell whare is Gripe,
but 1 will beat thy father's child very much tn-
deed/

What would you have me dni I cannot tell
where he is. But what would jou have with
bim?

What would I have with him 9 By my should
tf 1 do see him, I will make murder upon him for
tny captain's sake.

Murder him ? Hell not be mnrdered.

If I do lay my eyes upon him, Gad I will put
my sword into his bottets, the devil take me in-
dted. What hast thou in that sack, jcy f £^
tny solvation, I uiU look into it !

But you Uiall not. What have yon to do with
it?

By my soul, joy, I will put my rapier into it !

Gripe. Oh ! C5h !

What, it does grunt, by my salvation, the devil
take me, I will see it indeed.

You shall not see my sack ; III defend it with
my life.

Then I will make heat upon thy body; take
that, joy, and that, and that, upon my soul, and
so I do take my leave,joy.

[Beats him in the sack.

A pinguc on him, he's gone; he's almost kil-
led me.

Gripe. 1 can hold no loiter ; the blows all fell
upon my slioulders !

Sea. You can't tell me; they fell on mine : oh
my shoulders !

Gripe. Yours? Oh my shoulders !

Sea. Peace ! they're coming.

In a hoarse seaman's voice.

Where is the dog f FU lay Aim am fore and
afi, smnge him with a cat-d~nine-tail, keel-kaulf
and then hang hwi at the main-yard.

In broken French English.

If dere be no more men in Kngland, I viU kUl
him ; I viU put im/ rapier iu- his body. I viU
give him two tree pushe m de gutte.

Here ScAPtv acts a number of them together.

We must go this way — o^ the right hand 9 no,
to th' left hand — lie close — search every whei^-^
by my salvation, I will kill the damned dog — and
w€ do catch *em, w^ll tear 'em in pieces, and 1
do hear he spent thick way — no, straight fan'
ward. Hold, here is his man ; where it yomr
master--Damn me, where 9 In hell f Speab-^_
Hold, not so furiously — and you don't tell ut
where he is, w^tl murder thee

Do what you will, gentlemen, I know not.

Lay him on thick ; thwxKk him toundfy.

Hold, hold ; do what you will, I will ne'er be-
tray my roaster.

Knock 'en down ; beat *en soundly ; to '«n, ai
'en, at 'en, at-— —

[As he is going to strike. Gripe peept out,
and Scapin takes to his heel*.

Gripe. Oh, dog, traitor, villain ! Is this your

Elot? Would you have murdered me, rogoe?
Unheard of impudence !

Enter Turtfty.

Oh, broAer Thrifty ! You come to see me loaden
with di^roce; the villain Scapin has, as lam
sensible now, cheated me of 30(d. Tliis beating
brings all into my memory.

Thrifty. The impudent varlet has gulled me
of the same sum.

Gripe. Nor was he contMit to take my money,
but has abused me at that barbarous rate, that I
am ashamed to tell it ; but he shall pay for it &e<
verely.

Thriffy. But this is not all, brother ; one mis-
fortune is the forerunner of another : Just now I
have received letters from London, that both oar
datiehters have run away from thetr governesses,
with tv^-o wild debauched young fellows^ thatthej
fell in love with.

Enter Lccia and Clara.

I.ttc. Was ever so malicious impudrnre seen?
Ha ! Surely, if I mistake not, that should be my

father.

Cla. Aod tiir other mine, vrhom Scapiti has
uird ihu*.

Lkc Ulci* OK ! UctunK-d. «iMt we nut ktutw

o(hi
CU. Vfhmt vi\i\ they mj to And 119 here }
Imc. My dmrcM I'uiher, wokame lo England.
Tkttjkvf. Mjr duicltter Liicr ?
L Xjm-. The Mine, »ir.
L Qript, My Clura Ivm. too P

j,CIk. Yetf Mt; aad twppy to tee your lafc ar^

Tl^iyjv What strange destiny his dirccttH
diit happtHm^ to us ?

Enfcr OcTAViAH.
Gripe. Hey-ilay!

r*ri^>v- OH, 90! I h«vc a wifr for you.
Oct. (i()od father, all your profK>MUoa$ are
i«io; ( niu»t needs be free, and tell yuu I ani

TinOv. Look you noiv : is not tliis rery fine '
Now I iiB\« a tniml (11 be iia-iry, mid tu in.-
intadi with yoii, vou'tl not let inc now, will
Ton i I tell yon, Mr GripcS Hmutlitpr, here —

Oct. m neuer uiiirry Mr (.iripc'^daughtpr, «ir,
u IcHit* ifi I lite : Nu, yunder's Jic ttiat I niu^t
LiKe, aod ca.n never entertain the thoughts of any
Mher.

CU. Yes, Octnvinn, I have at Inst met with
iBy f«clier, and all our fears and troubles are at
uenri.

Thrifty. Lo yc now, you would be wi»er thnii
die falliei (hat Wcot you, nnuld you? Did not I
•bran My you should marry Mr rjripe'» dauglt-
tir' Bui vnu dt* not know your mmit Luce.

Oct. l'nli)<>kcd for blcsung ! Why^ ihc'h roy
5irful I,cniiilcr'« wife f
ThriOv How? I>eandcys wife f
Cn/n. What! My son Leaudcr?
Lkl. Yes. sir; vmtr vm Leander.
Crt9f. Iiidee<l! Well, brother Tlirifty, 'tis
true toe boy was alMay^ a itood-natured boy. —
Well, nnw 1 nm so oierjoycd» that I could laugh
liU 1 shoolt my ehtnilHers, but that 1 ihire not,
iky tre to sore. Hut huk, here he cutuo.

Enirr Lkander,

Idmu ^, I b^L' your pardon; t fiod my mar-
life 19 diflctArered ; n»r would I, indeed, have
Iiitgn' conrealed it; this i» my nifc, I mu»t own

w.

Qnpe. Brother Thrifty, did yon ever see the
lie' Jid you rrcr vev Hh' like ? h:i !

IVif>v. I fwn her. quotha! VVhy, kiss Iter, kiss
^tBMQ : ndslKMlikhis when I wh^ n yunng t'el-
kWiftiHj nut liPit Mi:iri|i-«1, I did iii>lliit>f cIm* Inr
'^'" ' - O my cnh-ciciv^e, 1 not my boy
'' ■■■e hrw n;'^ht» befiire the curtuii»

'■ , • ..«»!

'»'',*. Well, 'ti* hit frtther's nown child. Just
•V I'f .^ber. w.n* ir .*ith in»* upon my weddiitc-
^i ieould ttot look uiwd my dear uiilioui

Unsliing;: but when we x^'ere n>bcd, Lord ha'
mercy upim uk ! — but I'll no mnre.

Jjcun, 1&, then, my fiitlM.-r rccunrilrd to me?

GuBC. Reconciled to tlioe ! Why, I love thee
at my ncart, man, at my bran ; why, 'lis my bi-o-
flier rhril'ty'ti daughter, Mm Lucy, whuiu I al-
ways designed for thy wife ; and that's ilty sister
Clara, marned to Mr (X-m, there.

Ltwn. Octavian, are we ttien brothers f There
T4 D'jtiiinf* that I could have rather wi>>lied, nl'ter
oimpteadngof my liappiness with roy charming
Uicia.

Itiriflif. Come, sir, hiuig up yourcnmphments
in the bail at huiue; tht-y arc old, and out of (a-
sliinn. ^htft, e<J to tbc iim, and bMpoak a sup-
per may cost mure nwoey thtn I have got to
fHiy fur it, fur 1 am resolred to run in debt to-
iiiKbi.

Shift. I shall fi\vs your oommnnds, sir.

'Vhrtjiu. Then, <rve tirnr, M-ud nut and mus-
ter up all the tiddlers, blind or not blind, drunk
or wibfT, in the town ; let not 50 much a*! the
rua»ter of tunes with his cracked cymbal in a
ca^e, eftcnpe vou.

Gripe. Well, what would I (^itc now for the
fellow tliHt uui;s the soug iit my lord mayor's
feast : I myself would make an epithalnmiiiin by
wuv of sonnet, mid he nhonld M>t a tune to it ;
it was the prctticBt'he hud lust tiuur.

JDn/cr Slt.

Sly, Oh, sentlcmcii, licrc is the strangest atxri-
dent fatli-it otit !

Thrifti/. What's llie matter?

Sh. Poor Scaiiin !

(jripe. I la ! Itoguc, let him be hanged ! I*[|
hane him myself.

Sfu. Oh, sir, tliat tmiihle you may *pnre ; for,
passing by a pince where they were buUdiiif;, a
great fttutie fell open Ins head, and broke his skull
so, vou may bee Mm bnuiiii.

fhriflv- Where is he?

Sl\f. \ ondcr he comes.

Enter Sr \v\ n betnern two, hi$ head wrnpt up in
(inrn, at if he had hrru wounded.

Sea. Oh nic ! Oh me ! <>ei)tlemen, you see
me, you «ec me in a wd condition, cut off like a
flower in the prime of my years; but yet I could
(Kit die, without the panKin of those I have wruii^
(!d ; yes, i^ntlenieii, I licM-ecti you to fun^ve me
all the injuries tlint I have done ; hut more espo
ciallv I be<; of you, Mr Thrify, aud my gu^id mas-
ter, M r Gripe.

Thrifiif. For my part, I pardon thee freely ;
e;i>, mil) die in |te:)oe.

Sea. liut 'tM you, sir. 1 h&ie mo^t offended,
by the inhuman twistinadocw whirh-

Gripe. PndH.*e, speak no wire uf it ; 1 forgive
thrc, too.

.Si-o. Twas a most wicked insolence in me, lliat
1 ahtiuld, with vik crabtrcc, cudgel

u

BRITISH DBAMA.

[Otwat.

Gripe. Pish ! no more ; I say I am aadsfied.

Sea. And now so near my death, 'tis an inex-
pressible ^ef that I should dare to lift my hand
against- ■

Gripe. Hold thy peace, or die quiddy ; I tell
thee I have forgot all-

iSco. Alas ! How good a man yoa are ! But,
sir, d'ye pardon me freely, and from the bottom
of your heart, those mercikss drubs thafc

Gripe. Prithee, speak no more of it; I for-
give tnee freely ; here's my hand apon*t.

Sea. Oh, ur, how much your goodness re-
vires me!

{PuUt off" hit cap.

Gripe. How*s that! Friend, take notice, I
pardon thee ; bat 'tis upon cDnditioD, that you
are sure to die.

Sea. Oh me ! I begin to faint again.

Thrifty. Come, fie, brother ! never let revenge
emplo;^ 7<>ii)* tiiooghts now ; for^ve him, forgave
him without any condition.

Gripe. A deuce on% brother ! as I hope to bo
saved, be beat me basely and scurvily, never stir
he did : hut, ance you will have it so, I do for-
give him.

Thrifty. Now, then, let's to supper, and in oar
mirth drown and forget all tnHibles.

Sea. Ay, and let them cany me to the lower
end of the table ;

Where, in my chair of state, 111 sit at ease^

And eat and drii^, that Z may die m peace.

{Exeunt nnen

MEN'.

[Ui Bakkakd.
Mb GaiirABo, brmtker to Mr BARBrAao.
EkASTt's, in /ore vitk Mabiamke.
DOKAJIT, «tm to Mn BaBKABD.
Mox^lfcl'B LC MABQCIft.

Babos at Measy.

Jtft>o, eoiitim to Mn D«nHARa

G)Li>, urvant to Mn Uabnabd.

Cbaklt, a /t///c Aoy.

&rT«<iJ <(i F.BAsn^s.

TVrr Gt-nt!rntrnt /rififh to DoBAXt.

ACT I.

SCENE 1.

£r(0- EaASTCSoRif hit tnuH, vitA Li»etta, Ma-
BiAM!(c'» maid.

Lu. OjccE toore I icll yr, sir, if you Irave aov
toawlcntiun in ihe world for bcr, ywt must tic
pMt ilti^ minute.

£r«. My dear IJsrtta, let me but spenk to
Ifr; kt me but ^ec li«r only !

III. Yon nmy ilo what you will ; hut not here,
*4iil|t ^tni iLfc in DUr hou«e. I Ho hclicve «Iiv'b
• nfwbcnt to «rc ynu, is you can be to tee tier;
hi

&•. Dat why won't you give us that ^tisfar-
tim. tl,«-ii ?
1a BeOBuw X koofr tlic conKiiucncc ; for,

when you once get togcihcr, the deril himself Ib
not able tu [Mirt vc ; yuu will slay to lun^ ti'l yuu
nrc surprised, and wlmi will bci'oiue ol' us liiviif

$rr. Why, clien we fthaJl be thrown out at the-'
window, 1 auppoK i

IJt. No; but [ *hall be turned out of door*.

Km. How unfortunate aiu I ! these dnon ore
open to all the wiirEd, niir) only shut. to me.

tJt. Berau«e yuu eotne for a wife, atu) at our
houfo we do not care for people that come for
wivp«.

St. What would you hare ua come fiir, child ?

Lis. Any thing but wives; because they canuoC
bt: put oH' without portions.

iirr Portions ! No, iio; ncicr talk of portions:
tuy master uor I duu't want porlloiis; and, it'

16

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Vanbbcgh.

he'd (i>l\nv my mlvicc, a rt^mcDC of fuhcrs
sliouiri not guard hrr.

Us. Wliat bay ywi ?

Scr. Why, if you'll contrive thai njT master
inny run nway vrith your mistress 1 don't much
cirv, fiiiili, ir I nin away with you.

Im. Uiiit't you sij, rogue's tacc i But I hope to
be belter pr<ii idrd for.

Rra. Iluld yi)tir initgim. But where is Mnri-
anine'ii hrotlier } lie is my bosom friuud, uiid
wuuld be wilting (o icni? me.

Iau I told yuu before, that lie has been abroad

a liuntiuK* nuil we bu«'c ixit keen him tlictc itirve

. days; he scldum livc*< at home, to avoid his Ik-

IthcA ill hunicHir : ^o llinl it is not your nii^ln-s«

'Only that uur old covetous cuff tci7c& thoreS

no body in lite family but feels the efloris of his

ill humour by his pxnl will lie would noi suf-

frr a creature to come witbui his doors, or eat at

his table and, if iKcre Ik hut n mbbit cxtra-

ordiimry for diuner, he UiinLa bimMilf ruined for
ercr.

Era. Then, I find yon pau your tirac vastly
comfiirtahly in thin family f

Lit. Not Ml bad B« you imosinc, neither, pcr-

aps; for, ibank Ik-nveD, we hiive a mi&ttt:6«

' that's as bountiful u) he 13 btinf^y, one tliut will

let him ^ay what lir will, and yet doei^ what she

will. But luirk ! here's some body coming: it is

certaioly he.

Ftrn. Can't vnu hiile ns somewhere ?

Us. Uere, lierc, get you in here its fast as you

Sfr. Thrust me in, ton.

[Putt Iktm into the efotct.

Enter Mabiaunc
Lit. O ! is it you ?

Mar, $0, Linettn, where hove you been ? Tve
been looking for \-c all o\er the tiouse : Who are
ihiAe pL-uf}lc in the pardeo with my u)other-ui-
Inw ? I believe my faibcr won't be very well
pleaded lo ^et: ihcut there.

IJt. Aod Itcre's sumc-budy el»e not far oiT^ thnt,

I bditve, your fatlier won't be very well pleased

Willi, neither. Come, sir, sir! [C^tls.

[['!ra»tu^ and Aa Servatitt comt out.

Mar, O UeHVcns \ \Crftt imt.

Lit, Cumc, loTwa, I can allow you liutasltorl

bout on't ihiA time; you nauM do your work with

—iMc wliiiper, twit st|eh«, and a ktw;

I hoMc, 1 say, and 1*11 Kaitd conlry liir ye in

Ibe mean time. [Kjit Lih.

Afar. Dojoo know wine you cspOM uic loi

Enutus i Wtoit do yon ■Mraii!

Era. To (he, madtuit \ aiuce you fccftiw »c
, with bo little pleasure.

Mir. Couttcter wfanc wvalAbenow of tat, if
J Mtutt tlMoU me yiw hem.
Mta. Wbttt woiiM yott bnve nie di>?
Jfor. E«p«ct wiib paikoce >*rMne happy ttim
•f tffidri ; mj motber-in-lmr is kiod and indul-

gent to a miracle; and her fnrour, if welt m»-
nitged, m."iy turn to our advantage ; and, ronld I
iin'\ail upim myself to declare my paMiun tolier,
I don't doubt but stie'd join in oor interest.

Era. Well, since we've nothlt^ to fear from
her, and your brotlier, you know, is roy iuuuiat«
friend ; ynu may, tlterefurc, cuuccol me some-
where about the house for a few days. HI creep
into any Imle.

Ser. Ay; but who mutt have the care of brinp-
ini: OS victunls? \Afide.

Era. Thrust us into the crllar, or up into the
cariet : 1 don't cure where it >», »u that it be but
under the same roof with you.

^irr. But I d^ni't 6*y ^'^ for that jndc IJsetIa
will have the feeding of u^ and I know wluu

iiod of diet fJie keep^ 1 believe we shan't be

like the fox in tlte fable ; our U-llies won't be so
full but we shall be able to creep out at the same
hole we pot in nl.

Era. Most I U>eo be gutw? Must I rctuni to
Pans ?

Enter Lisetta.

2Js. Yes; that you must, and immediate!/,
too, for here's my nMStcr coming tn upon ye.

Era. What shall I do !

IJt. Iletone this minute.

Alar. Stay in the villiute'til! too hear from me;
none of our family Itnow tlmt^ou are in it.

Era. ^hnll I see yon HtMnPtnnirfi?

Alar. 1 have not time to aniner you now.

LU. Make haste-, I say; are yuu bewitched?

Era. W ill yini write to rae f

Mar. I will if I con.

LiM. |}<i;one, i say ; is the devil in yon ?

[Thrustinff EtiA^Tirs and hii ttrrant out.
Come this way, your fatltcr's juM btcppittg is
upon ns. ' (MreunL

SCENE U.

• EnterTdR BxtiiSAVLtt hetttiMgCoity.

Air Bam. Ito^e ! raacal I did not I com-
nutud you ? Did not I |^ve yuu my orders, sirrah i

Ci>l. Why, you gnvc me orderi to let no body
in ? mid niailntn, licr gives me nnlers to let f*vefy
body in— "why, the deriJ tamicir can't pleiH
you boalli, I think.

Mr Bam. But, sinmh, yon must obey my ih*
ders, nor her-*.

Ci4. Why, iIm< genllel'iilks asked for her; iher

did i»i>t ask. I'ttr you wb.a do yuu uuku audi

a niisc about ?

Mr ituni. For t)int reason, sirrah, you iboaU
not luivc Irt ijicni in,

Co/. Hold, ue; I'd rather Kie you nnfry ihaa
her, tliul's true; for tttieu you're no^rv. you bav*
ouly tJic dtvil in ye. but when untdtnn's iu a pa»-
sion, s\iv )iH9 I lie devil and his ilunt ImjiIi.

Mr ham. V'uu moat mind «hai I aay to you,
sirrah, and obt.'y my orders.

VvL Ay, ay, niuuler; but lac's oot quarrel

i

Vakdhcgr.]

BRrriSH DRAMA.

wish ooe laoifier — you're «Iwajs in such a pligay
honwur.

Mr Barm, What arr tlicnc people tlut are just
corned

Col. Nay» that know mit I ; bni u fine volk
cbcv mn as ever eye Mleid, Ur:i*tfn bli-fts tiiotn !

Mr Aim. Di'l v(i<i hetir ihrir names?

Cci. NoMf WNi; but in a comh tticy kenn all
limnaMvd with emiU), with i>ia breave huiN4>K,
thfK like OH them i>e'er did I settvcmt — 'twould
do A nifto'ft heart guivl to took on »ike tine bcu&t.

I

Mr Barm. How many pcnoos arc there: I
" L Vour; two as tiae men a^ ever wmnar
and two m% dainty dcame^ as a man would
to lay his lips to.
Mr Bain. And all this crew sets up nc my

CoL Nor, noa, measter; tUecnachman issnnr
into the villai^e Co set up his coach at some inn.
iuc \ told liim our onnrli>h(iaMr wa<i full uf v,i;:-
px%: but be'll brim; buck l!ie mx Ju>r»es, fur I
told him we had a rearjiiood i&tcahle.

^r Bam. Did you w, raval i Did vtm an?

f litati him.

CaL Donnt, doant, sir : it would dn voii anud
to tec sike cattle, i'faith ; lliey look ns if' they hnd
ae'er kcpe Lent.

Mr Bam. Then they shall Iram rrlJcion at
W bome — Simth, do you Luke cnrc Lh(>T «iip
wnbout oats to-nii:i)t — \Vbai will become o\ nic .'
Socc I bought this damnetl couiirrv-ltou;*, I
iftnd more m a summer than would maiutoia mc
ancn years.

CtU. Why, if you do spend tooneyi han't you
(Dod ihini^ fur it^ Come they not to mc you the
wbaW mtuiiry raund f Mind buw yuu'ru bL-liived,

\

Mr Bam. Pox take such love !— How now,
«ku da you want ?

Enfrr I.isetta.

Lis. Sir, there's Mme company in tlie |!;ard>Hn
•iUi my miktrrs*, who desire Ut iec you.

Mr Bitrn. Hit deiil take Uicm !' What busi-
•e>s hare they hero ? Hut who arc ihev?

iji. Why, »ir, tlierc's ibe (al ablmt that nl-
wiys aits 9o laii|[ at dinner, and drink» hib two
boutci by way of whcL

Mr itom. I wish his church wu in his belly,
riiat his gut» mii^ he ball' t'uU before be caiue —
Aod who eUe?

Im. TbcQ thcrc'i the vounc mart|uis, that won
kll my Isily's money nt cards.

Mr Barn. Pox rake- him toti *

Ij^ 'nea there's the mcrfy lady that's always
ia a nod humour,

Jl& fi^ni. Very well.

ti*. Ibcn there's ihc that threw down all roy
Wdj's chia* t'utlier dnv, ntid htufdied nt it for a

i^

Ur Bam. Which I-pnid above fifty pounds
VoiUL

for, in carncsfr— Very well ; and, pray, how did
mndfun receive nil this line company? Wjtli a
hearty welcome, and a trourtsy down to the
ground) ba ?

IJ*. No, indeed, sir; she was very ongry with
Uiem.

Mr Barn, How ! An^ry with them, say yaiif

Lis. Vc% indeed, sir ; for she expccied they
would have Maid here » fortnight, but it seems
things hnppcn so unluckily, titat tlicy can't stay
lifro abme ten dnys.

Mr tinrn. Ten days! bow! wbnt! four per-
•Mms with a cf>ach and six. and a kenoal of hun-
gry hounds in livcncs, to live upon me ten day* !

[Exit LtstiTA.

£n/rr a Soidier.
^o ! what do yoa wnnt ?

Sut Sir, I oome from your tiepbewj captaio
llunnry.

Mr Barn. Well, what does he wnntf
So/. He civc* fiis service to vou,.<ur. and sends
ytm word Umt he'll come and diue with you to-
luomiw.

Mr Barn. Dine with mc ! No, no, friend;
tell him I don't dine at all, to-momiw; it 19 my
fast day; my wife died oii't.

Sot. And lie has sent you here a pheasant and
aouple r)t" pnrtridses.

Mr Bum. How'4 that? a phea.<iatu and par-
tndees say you? Let's sec; very iinc birds, tru-
ly: let ine causider — ^to-mnrrow is 1 ot my fa**!
•lay; i mistook ; trll my neplicw Iw shall l>c wel-
cfiiue — Awl, d'vc hear? — f Po Cot-iw ] — Do vou
take these fowl and liiiic tliem up in a coul place
— imd take this soldier in. and make him drink —
tnake liim drink, d'ye nee — u cup— «y, a ciip of
small beer — d'ye hear ?

CiJ. Yes, sir ; oome along ; our small beer is
rcare |eo«mJ.

&/. But, sir, he bade mc tell you, that hell
brine I wo or three of his brnther officers nlong
with him.

Air Btim. Ilow't that ! OlTirers with him ! —
Here, come bftck — lake the fnwis ncain ■ 1 dim't
iline to-mi>rrow, and w tell him — [Givtt him the
bmket.] — Go, go !

[ Thrtttt$ him out.
SoL Sir, sir, that won't binder ihem fmro co-
minx; for tbev rnired a liitle distoitce olT the
rninp. and because your bouse is near them, sitf
tbey resolve to i^jmc.

Mr Bum. Go; begtJiie, sirmli !— — [T"Ar«jfj
Aim ouf.]— 'I'hcrc's a rc^c. now, thi\i wnds me
three lean carrion birds, and bring;* half » doteii
larlcts to cat them !

Enter Mr OaiFFABD.

Grif. Drotber, mIuii js the meanirat of these
doinuHf II you lion't order your ntYairs better,
you'll Jiavc your fowls taken out of your vcrv
yard, and carried oway before your faci-.

C

18

BRITISH DRAMA.

[VANBBUGn,

Mr Barn. Can 1 lielp it, brother? But whni'it
the iDAltcr urm f

Grit'. There's a piircel o( fellows lu»ve been
itiiinhn^ about voiir cfoiindK all this mnming,
broke down your livducs, utid are now cuiuiu|:
into Tour houtie — Don't vrij heftr them ?

Air Harn, No, no, Idoti't lienrtlicm: who arc
,»l)ey?.

Crif. Three or four r»ke-heUj officers ^^*
your nephew at the hftad of them.

Mr Harn. O tlic ruguo ! He mi)tht well sctxl
oic fowls — but \3 it uut « vexntiuus thing, thnt I
I juust ainml still and M-e ni>»clf plunik'rrd nt this
Lrntc, auJ hnvc a cnrrioa uf a wife whu tiiiriks 1
b«u|ht CO ttiunk utl iliLsc rni:ucs that couic to Hl-
I Tour me ! Uut e-au't you advise me whnt'a tu be
done in th» ca»e ?

Grif. I wi^h 1 could ; for it px^ to mv heart
Co »eo vrMi tJui» trmlecl by a crew of vemiin, \ah»
think tiiey do you u t;n'ut deal of houour io ruin-
I iof! t)f yiiu.

Mr Barn. Can tbcrt be no way found to nv
\ dnm this i

Crif, If I were yoti, I'd Icarc thi^ houw quite,
ftnd ^o to towu.

Mr harn. What, nitd leave my wife btJiind
me } Ay, lUal would be axndioc the maltcr, lo-
L deed •

GW/! Why don't you sell it, tlien?
Mr Bam. UocaUM* nobody tviU buy it; it has
tfit aK hud a natite as if the pliieuti Mcre in't; it
huH Ixcn f^nlil over and over*, aiid every fatuily
thai iias lived in it lias been ruined.

Crif. I'ben tcod avBV all your beds and fur-

nilurt^ e\i-cpl what is absolutely necessary for

^ your own fouiily; you'll snvc suiucduug by ihnt,

, for tlicn your gue^td caa't slay with you all ttij^hl,

boiroTer.

k^ Jlr fivni. Fve tried that already, and it MfC-

infied nothing For tiicv all got druitk, aod

[ lay in the barrt, aud oexi looming laugltcd it off
for a frolic.

Gnt'. Then there is but one reiucdy left that
I out think of

Mr Barn. What's thai?

GriJ". Y'ou mii^t e'uti do wliat** done when a
Mwii'4 on ttre ; bli)w up voor hnu-^i. lli:it rbe iuit»-
ciatii luay run tio farilwr— Uut tth>) is tliin (;cit-
iJonmn ?

Mr Bum. I ncTer ww litm io mv life before;
but. fond) thitt, i'll lM>ld filty pouiui he oumca to
dine wtlh we.

Enier thf Mjingtrd.

Mur. My dear Mr Barnard, I'm your most
bumhli- •4T%*ant !

Mf Harn. I don't di>ubt it, ur.

Mar. What is the ineanuiKof ll*i^ Mr Iliir-
uard? Ynu look as coldly upon iite as if 1 were
n »traiii£cr.

Mr Bam, Wby truly, air. I'm very mpt to du
«o by \it:nom I otAW kiw lu my life before.

Mar. You muftt know, Mr Barnard, Vm came
on purpoM> tu driuk a b-ittle with Vuu.

Air barn. 1 hnr may be, sir; but it happetu
thai at thin linu: 1 nin not nt all dry.

Mar. I left ibc hidniB at car^» waiting fnr
sopptr; for my part I never pinv; mi I came to
see my dear .\Ir Itnnmrd 1 and, I'll assure you, I
undertook ihit journey only to bavx the houour
of your ncqu;untuiicc.

Mr Barn. You might hare spared yourself
that tniubic, fir.

Mar. Dnn't vou know, Mr Damord, tbnt tbit
bouse of yours I* n little I'aradiae?

Mr Harn. Tiieu rot lue if it be, sir !

Mar. For my part, I think a pretty retreat in
the ciiuiitrv is one uf the ^^-eate^t ci>mforu in
life — I suppote you never want good company,
Mr Burnard f

Mr Barn. No. Kir, I never vranl mmpnny ; for
you muiit know 1 love ven,' uiuch to be aloue.

Mar. Goi'd wine you must keep^ aborc all
Uiiii^*. — with'Hit rood wine and good cheer, 1
would not (:ivca fag for tlic country.

Mr Mara. Really, iiir, my »inc a the worst
you ever drank in >'Hir life, aud you'll Knd roy
chi.-er but %*en' iiidillereitT.

Mar. No umitcr, no matter. Mr Barnard. Tv*
hennJ iHUcb of your hospitality ; thereV a plentiful
tnhle in tout \imA.s — uiid }uur wife ik ceriaiidy
one of the l>cst women in the world.

Mr Bam. Hot me if «lw be, sir !

Enter CuUK.

Col. Sir, sir ! vonder'<( the Imnm de Money
ba& lust his fauwlc in our i:nrden; lie sn><t it »

fiert'heit upon one of the trees; moy we let bim
lave'n agnin, sir?

Atr Barn. fJo tell him, that

Coi. Nay, you may teil him yourself, for htfT
he comes.

Entfr the Baron de Messy.

Sir, I'm your moat humble servant, and ask yon
u tlioussnd pardoiii, that 1 •thouLd live M) long in
your ocigbtourbood, and come upon »uch an oo
cu«i<>ii as lbi«, to [lay yuu my first rwpeeifi.

Mr Barn. It i^ very well, ur: but, I think
people may be very good ncighboursi, without *'*•
)iline one another.

liiifttu. Prtiv. how tlo yon like our oountnr ?

Mr Bam. Slut nt all ; I'm iiuite tired unV

2\htr. Is it ni>t the Uaronf [.(Jmc^.J It thOf^
taiiilv be.

Huron, Uuw ! ray dear marquis ! lei me tm-
bruce you.

Mar. My dear baroii, let me kis» you !

[Theif run, und mtbratt.

Baron. We Imve not seen one another siiMe
we were scliool-fcilowj, Irefure !

Mar. 'Ibc bnpinest n-liconirc I

Out'. 'Ihcsc geutlcmeu seem to be very wtll
aoqualnied.

Vanbsvgb.*]

BRITISH DRAMA.

19

Mr Barn, Yes ; bot I luiow neither one nor
dottier of tbem.

Mmr. Btron, let me pniwiit to ymi one of the
beu-fMCBrad men in ihe wnrtil ! Mr Brinianl htrr,

llic Ainrvr of hi>!>pitntiiy .' 1 cungnitulatc ^'ou

lyon iMring n gpod o iieighbtiir.

■■ Bmn. Sir!

OH. It M an ndrantnge T am proud o(.
Barn. Sir !

3Cir. Cookc, gcntlctnrn, yoa must be vj^rv iii-
ttmate. Let me have the lionour of bringing ^ou
better ncriuitinted.

Mr Barit. S,r!

Baron. Dt-ar marqiiis I shall take it as a fa-
V0tf» ifjrou'U du me iJial honuur.

Mr Bern. Sir !

Mmr. With aJl m-r heart — Come, b«ran, now
TOU Are herv, we cnn mwkc up the must ugr^t^

»hle corapwi/ in the world I'mih ! yoa »h;iil

ibir mild pain a ftrvt t\nys wiih m.

Ur Barn. .Mettiioks now, ilii^^no of a whore
daei die hnnours of my liouse to a mirarlc !

Baroa, I dmi't know what to My, but I sliould
be *ery ^d you'd eictisc me.

if«r. Foiili. t cnn't !

Barom, Dear inarnnis !

Jlf«r. E^l. I ««oiii !

Barom. Well, •>inre it m\M be so Out here

. tbe lady of ttic family.

Enter Mrs Bahkard.
Mar. Madam, let me present you to the flower

Banm. Madam, I tihnll think mysett' the h.tf>-
pini |Hnon in the world in your Inilybhip's iic-
^■iriiBMCc ; and the little estate I hnvc m titxs
tmanay, 1 etteem m'>rc iluin nit the rcit^ btcaust
■I Im M ofar yuur lndy<ihip.

Mr Bam. S«r, your mou bumble servant.

Mar. Madam, Uic barun dc Mes^y ih the best
haaoarcd maa in (he world. I've prevuilcd uiUi
iim tu pre us hiseompuny n few day^.

Mn Barm. I'm j,ure you could not oblige Mr
Bhraard or me mori.-.

Mr Bam, That's a damned lie, I'm sore !

[Atidr.

Btr<ii Vm sorry,madatn, [ cnn't ticcept of tlic-
fcnaoar -'for it falU out 90 unluckily, that I've
•Baa btbes at my lious^ that [ can't pos-^^ihly
brre.

iimr. No matter. »o matter, baron ; you have
b^ at ynur borne, wc have ladies at our tinuiie

— Jet^s foin oamiiaiiics Come, let's send for

tea UMmMliatdir— tlie more tlie merrier.

Mr Bmm. An ndmirable esprdicuL, truly !

Abwr. Well, uucc it musi be sn, I'll ^u for

Mtr. MiJm haste, dear baroo; for ve shall
W aipatieot for your return.

titrtn. Madam, your most bumble senrani —
fe« 1 won't take my leave of ymi — 1 ikliull le
Wck tpn inuDcd'ut'el^.-^ — Alonsicur Buronrd,

I'm your sin^i bumble sorvant : Since you will
luive it at, I'll ri'tiini tt* toim as po^^ibli*.

il/r tiorn. I Imve It so ! '^Imd, sir ! you may
stay osluu); as ye plcow! : Vm in no hu<it4r for yo.J
[Eieunt Bahow tinitf MAnot'IS,a

Madnm, you arc the cause thnt I am not mii»- J
ler I't" my own JHMUie.

Mrt Barn. Will yoo nerer learn to be reasoo-
nblc, busbuod P

The Marquis rtturru.

Mar. The baron is the be^t liinnoured ronn io
the world; only a little too rcreiiiiuiious, iliat's ull
— I lore to be free Biid gcnemus — Since I camo
to Pnris, I've rf^fnmicd linlf the court

Mr I Bani. -Vou are ufthe must agreeable ba*
niour in llie world, manjui*.

Mar. Always merry But «hat have you

done with the ladies ?

Mm linnt. I Irftihetn at cards.

Mar. Well, I'll wait upon tlipin — but, madam,
let lue desire yo« not to put yoursrlf to any ex-

tmordintiry exjwnctt upiui our ai-ciiutils You

inu?it consider wc hnt^ muretlian one day to lirct
tWeiher,

Mrs Barn. You arc pleased tu be merry, mar-
quis.

Miir. Treat us without ceremony; good wina '
and unullry yon have of your own ; wild fowl

and ^l^h ore bronchi to your door. You nccH

not M.-nd nhroad for miy thing hut a piece of butr
chcr's lucnt, or so Let us Imve no eilraordi-
nnrtcs. [£jiY.

Mr Burn. If I had the feeding of you, a thuiH
dtT-holt ;ihoiiId Iw your supper !

Mrs Burn. Husband, will you iicircr chniiRe
your humour? If you ^u on at (liis ruto, tt will
be impossible to lire with ye.

Mr Barn. Very trtie; for, in a little time, I
sbnil iuiie noibini; (0 live uprm !

Mn Barn. Do you know what a ridiculoos fi-
i;ore vou make*

Mr Barn. You'll make a urcat deal worse,
when yutj lum't money enough to pny fur tbe
washing of your sliifts.

Mrt Barn. It seems you married me only to
dishonour me ; How horrible is this !

Mr Bfirn. I tell ye, you'll ruin me ! Do yoq
know how nmcli money you spend in a year ?

Mn Burn. Not I, truly i I don't uadcrstand
arithmeiic.

Mr Banu Arithmetic ! O lud, O tud ! Is it so
hard 10 comprehend, tlial he* ^ho receives but
sispencet and spends a nhtllin^, inu^t tic ruined
in the end ?

Mn Barn. I never troubled my heiwl with ac»
counts nor never will : Bui if ye did hut know
what ridiculous tliina* the world !tii_v»of yc

Mr Burn. Hm the M'firkj ! — Twill say worse
of me when I'm in a jail !

Mn Bam. A verj- Christiaiv-like saving, tmljr!

Mr Barn. Duq't tell me ui' CluiMiaii — Aos*

fiO

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Vanbguob.'

bud f rtl turn Jew ; ind no body ^ball eat at my
table that ii not circumdsed.

£at«r LiSETTA.

U$. MaAKta, therc\ the ducbeis of Twamt-
dilki juftt fel! down near our door ; her cuacli u u*
overtunii-d.

Jif r( Barn. I hope her grace has received iw
hurt?

JUi. No. niadAftk ; hat lier coacfi is hroke.

jUf iiir«. I'beii, thcreS n ?inith in town may
uifiid it.

/ai. Thev wiv, 'twiU require two or three day*
to tit it up at:aiii.

Mn iStirn. Tin ulwJ iin't, with all mv heart;
for llwit 1 JhiiU cni(»* iltc jiltiisiin? of her gmceV
guod ('oni|iiUiy. I'll «ii't upon her,

3fr ham. Very tliic dymgi ihi*?

[Esatnt tcveralfy^

ACT n.

SCENE I.
Enirr Ma Barnard.

Afr Bam. lltAVts Itc iidw my comfort, for
•nv hnu'* is hdl I [S/arr*.] W'hn's tlicrc? wliat
do you wont f who arc you?

Enter Strvant^ mtk a portmuHteau.

Ser. Sir, here's your rr)u»ii Januo, and cousin
Idawiia, corae from Paris.

JItfr Bariu What a plague do they waiitf

Eatrr Janao, leading in Mawkik.

Jnn. Come, s«tcr, come along O, here's

cousin Barnard! Cousin Barnard, _v<wir wr-

Tant — Here's my Mster MawLio, oud I, arc come
to tec you.

Mmm. Ay, tou«o, hcrr's bmthn- Janno and I
an; come from Paris to we you : l*ray, bow does
aiu&iii Mnriarane da*

Jan. My si<kti>r and I wan*nt well at Paris; >o
mv father itent us here for two or throe weeki to
take a little country air.

AJr Bum. You cuuld not come to a worse
place ; fur this is tlw wor^t air in the whole ooun-

Ua», Nay ; I'm «ure my father says it is the
best.

Mr Bant. Vou father's a fool ! I lell ye, 'tis
the worst.

Jiin. Nny, cousin, I fancy your inUtaken,
itow ; fur I hcpn to find ray stomach corae to
ine already ; in a f(irlut|;ht'9 lime, you sluUI bcfi
how III lay about mc.

Mr Barn. I don't at all doubt it.

j|f«a'. Father would hn^e sent ualrr Flip, and
little brother Humphrey ; but the caln»h mould
not botd uf) nil : aikd vj they don't come till to-
raorrow with motlier.

Jim. Come, sister, let's ptit up our thinc> in
our chamber; and, after yim have washed my
fare, and put rae on a clean neckduth, we'll ep
in, aiid sec how our cnu<4u± do.

Jfatr. Ay, come alung ; well go and ace ecu-
en Muriamne.

Jiirt. Cousin, we shan't uiveyou mudi trouble;
one bed will irrve us; for sirtcr Mawkin and I
Idwayi fie lugetlier.

MoK. But, cousin, mother firoys Tot», that
you'd order a little cock-brdth for brother Jauno
and 1, to be £!ot rcudy u.s xton Ds m.iy he.

Ja». Av, fl-pro)i'». it'usin Baninni, tlmi'^ti-iie;
inv motlie'r ilcsirei, tlutt wc mny have umw cuck-
brutli, to drink two ur dirte times n-dny b<tx»c«n
mealti^ for -.uv si*.ler and 1 an? sick folk*.

Atun. And *ome younj: « hu-kcn», too. the doe^
tor saidf would \atu^ us to our siomachft Tei^r

Jun. Yoo 6b, now, -liMer; it wnn'nt yfva%
chickens an it wuu'iil— it was plump partridgm*
sure, the doctor said m.

Mutt. Ay, w it vtas, brother,-^— Come, let's
go ill, and »ee tnir coumiis.

Jan. Ay, crime aluntt, M4ter — Cousin Bariuiid^
don't forget the cock-liroih.

[flinmt 3asso »»d Miwaia.

Mr Ham. WImt ilic ric\il dws all this mean

Mother, and *.i*ter Mip, anil little brother

lliniiiihrrv,' and duckcus, and pnrtrid^cSt and
cock-brotfi, and Are from hell lo dress ihem all \

Enter Coi.is.

Col. O incaster, O mcfiMer!— Yoiini noCduiie
to-dav, as vou are u#en to do; no marry, will yOH
not : See, now, what it is to be wibcr dmn oe«'s
menalcr.

Mr Bnrn. What would this fool lia»c?

Cot Whv, tliankk, and money lo>boot, auMk
were grateful.

Mr Bam. What'* dir matter ?

Co/. Why, the matter is, if you hii^e L'ood store
of company in vour hou!«, you liave |;uud sion
uf meat lo put m (heir bcilicSk

Mr harv. How M)? Iiow SO?

CW. Why, B lurfre and <4iitely stap. with a pair
of horns on hi« ii»-tif!. Heaven bless you! yoar
woiship raiplii be steii to «cnr them— comes a^
wardii our K<-nt, a putliiii: and hlawiii^ like a row

iu hard labour Now, suys I t*> nivwlf, sau I»

if my men-HU-r rt-fu!* to let this fine yixiih (wae

lit — v>liy, then he's a fjiol, d'ye sce^ Sol opem

him tliegeat.puIUoffiny hat withbiilhuiy hnmhi
nnd wi<l, r"» r*- wctrmnc, kind iir, lo our buuir.

JMr Bant. Well, well!

Coi Well, well? ny, and iw> it is well, as ww
shall straight way find— !fo in he trots, and maUt

VANBmVGB.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

diRCtly towards oiir bam, anil goea boance,
bMutce, againtl ih« dtwr, m bolilly u if he had

bees BMuter oai he iurns'«u about, and

ttiawcks'n down in the itmw ; m w\vt would say.

l>cre will I lay inc tdl Uwiwrrow luoniing

But be Imu) do foul to deal with ; tor to the kit-
cfacD goes I, and ukes me down a musket, and,
wiifa a hreaoe uf bulls 1 hiu'n «.urh a slnp ici the
fcace, that he ne'er apnke a word more to me. —
Have I dune well or no, roeasterf

Mr Bam, Ye>y you have done very well for
once.

Coi Bat thu was doc all ; for a parcel of dofs
cane yelping after lt»eir otmpiuiion, as I bup-
pose; M 1 goe» to the back yard-door, and as
many as came by, Shu, Mjrs 1, uid drove tb<:ni in-
to the geardeo— So there they art, w bnfv as

in a pawod- Ha, ha ! But I can't but ihiiiL

uhic a power of paMJes we idudt have nt our
bouw — Ha, haf [E-rit Cm in.

Air fittfit. 1 tutu Prnvideocc lak(*» MHiir care
of me : thu could never have bappcDcd in a bet-
ler time.

Enter Cook.

Cook. Sir, sir ! in the name of wonder, what do
yo« ntean r in it by y<nir orders that all those
doB weiT let into the garden i

Mr Barm. How!

CooJL I believe there'* forty or fifty dof^i tcar-
iaf ap the lettuce and cabbage by the ruoi. 1 be-
lieve, before tlicy have done, they'll rout up the
whole nrden.

iirBam. Iliis is that rogue's d(jiLi|!;&.

Cook, This was not all, sir,; for three or fotir
of dMm came into llte kitchen, ami tore httlf the
meat off the spit that was for vuur worohip'tt sup-
per.

20- Bam. Hie very dogs pla^e me I

Cook. And then there's a crew of hungry foot-
BMoi who devoured what the dogs left ; so that
there's oot a bit left for your worship's f>uppcr,
Bol a scrap, not one morsel, sir ! [Ejit Cook.

Mr Bern, ^re I sliatt hit on some way to
get nd of this crew !

I

M van

Enter CoLiif .

I

C<J. Sir, sir ! hcre'« tbf; devil tn do without
yonder; a parcel tif fellows swear they'll have
oar venison, and s*blead I sweur llicy shall
Inc nooe on't; so stand to your arms, nieaster.

Mr Bmm. Ay, you're doue finelv. rogue, ras-
al. have you nnt f [Beating him.

CoL 'Sbtead, I tay they shan't have our veni-
KA. ru die before I'll part wtth it. [Esit.

£a/«r GaifrABD.

Grif. Brother, tliere's some i^ntlemon within
Mk for vou.
Mr (torn. What geotlenien ! Who are ihcy t
Crtf. Tbc sentleascD that have been hunting

all this morning; the/re now gone up to yoor
wife's chamber.

Hr Ham. Tbc devil jjo with them !

Orif. There's but one way to get rid of tliU
[iluguu, and that i&, as I told you before, to set
your house on fire.

jlfr Bam. That's doir^ myself an injury, not
them.

Grif. There's dogs, horses, masters and ser^
vants, all tnteiid t4» stay here 'till to-morrow
morning, that they may be near the wiMds to
launt the earlier — besides (I over-heard theni)
they're in o kind of plot n^inst you.

Air Barn. What did ibcy say?

f/W/' You'll be more angry (f I should tetl yc,
than 1 am.

jifr Bant. Can I be more attjfry ?

On/. Tlity said then, that it was the greatest
pleasure in the »«orld to ruin an old lawytrr in
ttie country, who had got an estate by ruining
h(tiH>st people in town,

Mr Barn. There's rogues for ye !

Grif. I'm mistaken if they don't play yoa
some trick or otlier.

IfJr Ham. Hold, let me consider.

Grif. What are you doinp?

Mr Born. I'm conceirini;; I shall bring forth

iiresenily -oh, 1 have it ! it cniucs from

Iwiice; U'it was its father, and liiveoti'm it* mo-
ther : if [ had thought on't sooner, I should have
bt-fii happy.

Grif. What is it?

Mr Bam. Come, come along, I say ; you must
lielp me to put it in execution.

Enter LlSETTA.

Lit. Sir, my mtstre^ desires you tn walk nn ;
she is oot able, by herself, to pay the civilities
due to ■«> much good amijMuiy.

Mr Bam. ii the camon ! What, does she

ftlay her jests upon me, kmj f but mum ; he
aii)i}is licst that lan^hs last,
Xii. What »liall 1 tell her, sir? will you come t
Mr Barn. Yes, yes; tell her Fll come with a
pox to her *

[Eieunl Mr BAR:iARi) and Griffaro.
Lii. Nay, I don't wonder he -tliould he nn<^
— llicy do try his patience, that's the truth on't.

£ii/er MAniAUNc

What, madam, have you left your mother and
tlte company {

Mar. So much tittle tattle males my head
ache ; I don't wonder my fnther should not love
the country^ for, beudes tlie vxpcncii he's at, he
never enjoys a minute's, quiet.

Lis. But li-t's talk of your own affairs — hare
you writ to your lover ?

Mar. No, for I have not had time since I saw
him.

Lis. Now you have time, then, about it im-
mediately, for he's a sort of a dcspt^raic spark,
and B body does oot know what he mtiy du, if lio

BRITISH DUAMA;

•hould not hear Cram tad ; bnidc^, \nti prumiwd
him, and ynu mmt bcnavc yoiir<ieir^e:i tvumaji
of lunTOur, Hiid keep your word.
JUsr. rU about it ihb rainote.

Enter Cu-iRi.r.

Cluf, Cousin, cousin. rqiiNa ! where nre you
going ? Come back, I hare somcthiog to say Co
you,

ii'j. Wiftt dijTs this troubIr«iine boy want ?

Chnr. W'liQiS ttiat to you what i wnnl ? prr-
hftfm 1 liav'c MMtkclhiDg to 5a\ to her thut will
ninkc her kiuyli— — — why sure I what need you
core?

Atar. Don't niub my cousin Charly— -well,
whnt IS it ?

C/iar. Who do you Utink I met, oh I ivrk com-
-inc; Iwre, hut tlmt nandsoiiK uciitlcrmn I've seen
at t'burch o^le voii likr any devil !

a«r. Hui«h r softlv, couitn.

2J*. Noi s woni of that for your life.

Char. U, 1 know I should not epcnk on't be-
fore fdUu ; jou know I nuiiie w^na to you ahovp,
that 1 nantcd to spcDk to you in |>nrate, didn't
Ij cousin f

Mar. Y«, yes ; I «aw you.

t'Ajir. Vou Jce I cnn keep n srcrcl 1 nni

110 luri, iiiuii 1 believe I could tell ye fifty,

and tiftv tu (but of my siller (.'ici'ly O -ihe'-i

the licvil of n girl ! but site nivc* mi* inonev

and sugar-pluiiihf — and (hoso ilint arc kind to
IOC fare ihc better for it, yuu set*, coumo.

iUr. I abvays Mid my coubiit Cbarly was a
|gpod-nniurcd boy.

JJs. Wf U, an^ did he know vou }

Char. Vc-», 1 think he did kikiw mc — for he
look me in his uniis, and did «o hu)* iiiu imd kivt
BMT — between you atid I, cousin, I hclietc lie is
one of tiK' b<^»t fncnd» 1 have in the world.

Mur. Well, hut wbnt did lie tny to you ?

Char. Why, he R&ked lue whcir I naa i:oing —
I tuld hiiD 1 was comini! to see you — ywi'rc n
lyiaiC youo{( rogue, )>ny« be, I'm sure v'hi dure

, nut uo see your rouun* lor, yuu must know

ny sister was with nic, and it seems be lonk

' fof a crack, and I being a forward hor,
lie fiiiiciod I was goiog to make love to bcr uudcr
a hc-d^c, ha, ho !

Mar, So—

Char. So he offered to lay mc a louis d'or that
LX was not cumins to ynu ; bo» done, says I —
1 Done, »ay> he — imd hi 'twas a bctt, yuu kmiw.

Ittar. Certainly.

Char. So, my uftter's honour being concerned,
and having a mind to win his luui^ d'or, d'ye mt
— I bid liiin fulloM me, tlial he might m-c wfirllier
I came in or no— but lie ^d be'd wait for mc nt
the little ^nlf'ii g»te ihar ojicon into the lielitn,
and if I would cfirn*^ through die bouM and mcrt
him tlieiT, be should know by that wbethcr 1 bad
W^n ill or no.

[Vaxbrogr.

jl^or. Very well.

Chur. Su I went there, opened ibc gate, and
let liini in^

Mar. What tlica?

Char. Why, then be paid mc the loub d'or^
thai'« all

Mar. Why, that was bone^y done,

Char. Ami llien Ik; tulltrd to inc of you.

Mar. B>it nnt this all }

Chitr. No, for he hod a mind, you n)u»t know^
to win bis iuui» d'or back iieaiii ; so lie Inid luc
iiiiotliir, tiiut [ dare not ruiue Inirk, and tell you
that he was there — w, cousin, 1 liope yoa won't
let m«' l<>se. for if vou don't pi to him, and icU
him ihnt I've won, lie won't pay nic.

Mar. Wbut, wuuld yuu have uc go and speak
to a mail ?

Char. Mot for any luirm, but to win your poor
cniiAin n lonis dor. I'm sure vou will— for
Yi>u*rv a inodt^t youug numau, nod may go witb*
out danger. I'll »vvear you must,

Mar. Wliat docs the yuuu;; rogue incauJ 1
s^vf ar I'll linvc von wlijpt.

\^x<utU CuASLT and Mabiaukb.

Knter Colik.

C>'t. Ila, ha, lia ! our old ciiitleinanS a **>(&■
i'failh ! Iii-'ll be eveii tvilh ibctii for all thi^—
ha. Iia, lui !

Im. W|int*» the mailer? What does the fool
lautth at ?

Co/. We an't in our bouse now, Litetu; we're
in nn inn ; ha, hu !

Xif, How in an inu?

CoL Yt-!i, lu Hii inn ; my meastrr bas ftotten
an rild rusty •iw-ord, and liunp it up at our ent*
mid wnt undcrtirnlb wirh n piece of charcoal^
witli bis own lair hand, * At ibc Sword Rojral;
enterlniniucnt fur uiuii and bone :' ha, Im

Ui. Wliat whim i& lliik ?

(W. Thou aud 1 live at the Sword Itoyal*
Un, hn —

LU. Ill go tell ray mibtreu of ber fatbcr'a
extravagance. [£xil LifttTTA.

£a/cr Mn Bahtarh onJ GairFAio.

Mr Kim. Ha. ha ! yes, I think ihls will do.
f^rmh, yuu may now let in all tbe world; tho
luuru the bi'ttcr.

Cu/. Yei, .^ir Odsflesh! we lAail break

all ilic inns ?d tbe countTy For we ha*e •

breavc ImndMnnc tnndliidy, and a curious yoimf
la»4 lo bcr dnu^ihtcf- O, here comes my

young meuaicr- ■ We'll make birn. Cbauibcr>
lain.— hn, lin !

Knter Dorakt.
Mr Bam. WlMt'<. tlar mailer, M>n? How*
it that yuu arc alone? Vou used to do me I

Vascbkccr.]

BKrrrsM drama.

«9

I

)

Ckvov Ut bciag M»ae of your fncnib nloog with
ycu

Dor. Sir, there are some of them coniing: I
onljrrid before, to beg vou to give llicin a favour-
able recc|iuuiL

Mr Barn. Ay, why not ? It is both for your
bonour and miae; yon shall be miuiifr.

Dor. Sir, wc have noM- jiu (ippnrtunity of inn-
Liafi all ibe getiticmeii in the country uur rriend->.

Mr B»r$t. I am gtad un't with u(l luy heiut ;
|)niT, buw to i

iJfir. There's an old qunrrcl to he mniie up
factneen two families, aiitl all die cuni|tany arc
to meet nt our home.

Mr Barn, Ay, uith all my heart; but, pray,
ivluit i» the quarrel t

Dor. O. iir, a very ancient quarrel; it Irap-
pcncd between ibeir great gnuiufathers about a
duck.

Mr Bartt. A aiuirrcl of coascquiMice, tmly !

Dor. And 'twill be a great honour to in, if
this khiiulH be actiimimxiiiiLil at our house.

Mr fiom. Without doubt.

Dor. Ocmr M, jrou a>»tiinuh tne wkh tbi&
goodaeat; bow fthnll I etpress tliis Mbltgulion ? 1
•a* afratr), sir, you wuuld not like lU

Mr Barm. Vihy so f

Dor. I thought, sir, yoa did not care for ilic
cipcncr.

Mr Bam. O, lord. I nm the m'jst nitered man
in the world fmm what 1 w&t ; I ain qtilte aiio-
ibcr thin^ muo; but how mnuy arc there of
them?

Df»r. Xot ftbiwc nine or ten of o side, sir.

Mr Barn. O, we kball dispose oi* thein ca^ilv

Dor, Some of them will lie here prewntly ;
the rest I don't pxpecl till to-morrow morning.

Mr Barn. I hope ihuy are good cumpoiiion^,
jollT CeJtow«, that lore to ent and drink ucll ?

bar. n>e merriest, bcst-naturcd, creatures ju
ihf world, «r.

Mr B^n. I'm very glad on*t, for 'tin sucli mm
I wauL Co«ne, br()tner, you aud I will go and
ptrpare for tticir ri;i-cption.

iEimnt Mr UaRNIRO and htM hrolher.
Ictf me, what an nltcratiuu is here !
Uiw ray faifi«r'» temper is cliaii^cil wiiliin Uxfse
two or three days ! L>o you know the mcaniag
rfrtf

CW- Why the mcaiiin« of it i»— l):i, ha !

Oter. Ca/i you tell me the cause of this Midden
datiffB, I ay }
Cm. Why tbe cause of it la — h^ ha !
Dor. What do yuu laugh at, wrrob F do you
\mm}

Co/. }H\ Decoute tlie old ^nttlemaii is u
4rai1. that's nil.

ji... V...-.V, ifl take the codH

* .-, d'tn't Ik: auiiry, for n lutlc hnrin-

'c'-i ilii here arc ^our frieuds.

Enter three Gentlemen.

Dor, Gt'iitleraon, you arc wclcxime to Pasty-
hall ; see cliut these geuilcmeu'a horses arc tokca
cjre of,

1 Gen. A rery fine dwelfmg this.
Dor. Yes, the house is tulcrable.

2 GeH. And a very tine lordsliip belongs to iL
Dor. The land is good.

'i Gen. 'I1ie btmsc oui;ht to have been inioe;
for my grutidlnther sold it to bis father, from
i^liom vuur father purcba&ed it.

1/or. Vcs, the houoc has gotic tin ough a great
luauy hands.

1 Grn. A sign there has always been good
houwkeepiuK in it.

Dor. Ajid I hope there e>-er will.

Enter Mr Baaxard, ami GRiiFAftD, dreueti
tike drtacen.

Mr Barn, fleiKlemen, do you call? will yon
pleuie to ite a room, gentlemen i «omc budy
take off the i:eirtlenie«!i' boot* there.

Dor. Katber! Uncle! what i^ tlie meaning of
this?

Mr Barn. Here, shew a room- or will yott

please to walk into the kitchen, first, gentlemen ;
and see wlmt you like for diiUK-r?

I Gen. Mnkc rto preparations, sir; yourowo
diurirri" authcient.

Mr Ham. \ ery well, I understand ye; lei us
>tt, liuw many iirc there of ye ? [TtUt t/u-m.] —
One, tuo, three, t'our : well, gcnueiuen^Vtis but
h;ilf n crown-piece for yoorselve*, and si>[M'nce a
head for your scrvauts; your dinner bliall be
rt-ndy in half an hitur; here, shew llie gentlemen
into the AnoUo.

'i Gen. What, sir, docs your father keep an
inn I

Mr Barn. The Sword Royal; otyours«rvioe*
sir.

Dor. But, father, let me speak to you ; would
you disiimcc mc i

Mr liufu. My wine ia very good, gentlemen ;
hut, to be very pluiii with yc, it Is dear.

Dor. I sliutl run ilitttniuLcid.

Mr Burn. You seem not to tike niv hnuse,
l^entlcioeu ; you may try uU the inns in the coun-
ty, niul Milt \te better entertained : but I own my
>>iIU run liitEfi.

J)ur. (ir^nllemen, let me hcg the favour of yc 1

1 Grn. Ay, my young squire of tlic; Swurtl-Roy-
q1. vou shall receive siiinc favours from ti% 1

thrr. Dear .Monsieur Ic Onranticrc !

t Grn. Here, tny hor>e titcre.

Dor. .\Jimsieur la ICosc!

2 Ge}t. Ojinn ye, ye prig !

3 Gen. Go to the devil 1

lExruHt GcnttaTKn-.

f4

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Vanbrvgh.

Dor. O, T am dt<^7ncc<I fottvcr !

Air Bam. Sow, son, this wilt tench you hon*
to live.

Dor. YourBOn? 1 d«ny the kindreJ ; I'm tlie
ton of a whore, and I'll buru j^our bouse nbout
your can, [Exit.

Mr Bam. His ha

Crif. The younK gentleman is in a paiision,

Mr Barn. I'hcy're ail gooe for all that, and
Ihr Sword-Royal's the best geoeral in Cbristcn-
doiu.

Enter EnASTi's's Servant tntkittg Bfith Lisetta.

Xm. Wliat, that tall gentleman I »aw in the
k gpjden with ?c i

Ser. llif same ; he* my nuistpr'§ uncle, and

ranp-T of the king's f<irest» He intends to

leave my nto&ter all he has.

Mr Barn. Don't I know this Bcoundrel ? What,
U his luo&ter here? What do vuu do here, nu-
cal?

Scr. I was askini; which must be my master'^
, duunher.

Mr Barn. Where is your maater ?

Ser. Above stairs with your wife and daueh-
trr; and I want to know wnero he is to lie, that
I may put up his lliinpi.

Mr Horn. l)u you so. nucal i

Ser. A vtry luindwune inn thU !- Here,

drawto-, fetch mc a pint of wine.

Mr Ban. Take that, nucal, do you banter
mf [Iticks kirn out.

Enter Mrs Darsard.

Mrt Barn. What is the meaning of tht^ hus-
buiul ' An.' not yim aiihamrd to turn yoor linuw
into ail inn? And ta this a drrss for my spou»c.
and n man of vour rhnnivter?

Mr Ham. I would mthcr near this dress ibau
be niiocd.

Mrs Bam. You arc nearer being » than you
imagine ; for there arc soooe pertons within, who
have it in their power to punuh jou for your "
diculous folly.

Enter Erastus, leading in Marianive.

Mr Burn. Ho^v, sir, what mean* thi»p who
sent you here ?

Era. It was the lockieat star in your finw^
ment, that aent mc here.

Mr Barn. Tlien I doubt, at my birth, the pU"
nctH were but in a soin-v disposition.

Era. Killing one of tlie king's 9tag;s, that run
hiibcr for refuijc, is enough to overturn a fortune
rauih better establislied than yours — However,
«ir, if you wiil oinsent to give nie your daughter,
for her soke I will bear you harmless.

Mr Barn. No, sir; no man shall hare my
daughter, tlial won't take my house, too.

Era. Sir, I will take your house; pay you the
full value of it, and you &haU rcmam b« much
iiiaiter of it as ever.

Mr Bam. No, sir; that won't do neither;
you must be meMer yourself, and from this mi-
nute bt-gin to do the bonoura of it in your ova
persun.

Era. Sir, I readily consent.

Mr Barn. Upon that condition, and in order
Co get rid uf my house, here take my daughter'^
And, now,Mr, if you think you've a hard bareaiti,
1 don't care if 1 to9S yoa in my wife, to make
you amends.

Well, then, since all thincs 'hus are fairly 'ped.

My Kn 'o anger, and my duu{>hter wed ;

My houw disposed of, the sole cauw of

ilnl'c,
I now may hope to lead n happy life.
If 1 can part with my engaging wife.
[Emtnt

Rot. WtLt, thntigli pimping is tlic most bo-
KMnble (LOd profitiibic or ull |m)f(>a<iini». it in
rcrlntnty titr moit dativicruus and fatif^uing;; t-ui
<if nil faligues, tlwrc'^ none likn following ii vip-
tooQ* mutrcM — Tlierc's nut one letter I carry,
twt I run thr ntk of kicking, canctiig, or piuapiiig,
nK, often hnii]>ing — L*t me «c ; T hat* coni-
tmieti three burularics to get oue leuer to h«r —
Vow, if my master should not got the gipsey nt
Uatf I have lenttirrtl my sweet person t« a^l'air
^rr^— H'T. Bastn ! here comes mv uinstrr
M>'l : Mr Hciirty — 1 mn^t hasten and

frt - -; *.

Koa (t dkuic Fortune fails us now to wio lier,
Oh, «J1 jc gods above ! itie lUvil's in her. [Exit.

Enter Rovkwsll and Ubabty.
Hwr. Whj to nrlanctroly, captain? Come,
Vol. IJf.

come, n man of your gaiety and courage fchould
never take a dtsappointiiicnt so much to heart.

Rav. *Sdcath ! to be prevcnicd, when I haii
brooght my desiipi so near pcriectii>n !

Itcar. Were ynu less open ami linring in your

attempts, you might litipe tu succeed -nic old

gentlfmaa, you Imow, is cautious to a dei;n'r; his
Juu^liter under n Klrirt cimfiui-iucntr nuuld yuu
use more of the fu\ than the hot). Fortune, per>
haps, iQipht throw an opportunity in your way —
But you mn^t iiave patienee.

lior. \Vho can have patience when daii|{er is
so near? Kead tlus letter, and then tell loc what
room there it (or patience.

[Ur.ARTY rcorfi.j ' To-maxTxm will prevent nil

* our \idn strugj^lcs to pet to each utiier— I am
' then tu lie married to my eternal aversion ! you
' know the fop : 'tis Cuckoo, »hn, hiring a larco

* estaie, is forced u|K)n ine — but my heart can be
' none but RuvewclFs, Inmieitiiilely after tbtt
' receipt of this, meet Betty ut the old place ; '

* thctv is yet one invention left ; if you pursue U

O

<£6

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Caret.

* closely, Tdu may )>ei'hops rclcnse bfr, who would

' be your ' Aketiii sa.'

Riiv. Ye», Arclliimi, I will rclcusu tlicc, or die
iit (lie nticnipt ! Dcnr iVieiid, e&cuM m; nide-
, fic«»i you kiwn tho ruiuon.

AIR.

Ill face erory danger

To rcDcuc my deatt
For fenr is a stnmger,

Where luvc is uncere.
llepulftLft but fire as.

Despair nc ilc^ise^
irbvauiif iriftpire us

To poiit lor tlic prize.

[Exit.

Jliar. Well, go thy way, ami get her ; fnr

thou dcserv'at hcr» o' my cuusctence — How hare

I been deceived in this buy ! I liml him the very

revone of wluil tiis Dttrp-iui>tlicr reprvM.-i)leit liim ;

Mild nm now M-nuble it was only her ill-usage tliut

■.forced my child awiiy — His not having seen ro«

Vnnce he was five yean old, renders me a perfect

Euran^cr to him — Uiidrr that prciaicc 1 Imvegot

Linio his ocqcuiininncc, and find him oil 1 wish^ —

If this pint nf hi^ fails, I believe my money muM

buy him the girl at iast. [Kxit.

SCENE U. — A chta^er in Aruvs*s house.

AacTncsA toia.

AIR.

Are. See ! tbe raHiaot queen of nit-ht

Sbcds on all her kindly bt^ams;
Oildb tlw? pUiins witli cheerful lit;ht.

And sparklea in the silver sireams.
Smiles uduro ihi- face of Nature,

Tantdeu all tilings yet appear.
Unto inv a bupele&& creature.

In the absence of my dear.

Enter A ho us.

Arg. Pray, dai){;titcr, wliat lingo is that same
jrou chaiit uutl sputter out at this mtc i

Arc. Eii^lidli, sir.

Arg. English, quotha ! adod I took it to be
tKHMcme.

Are. 'Vu a hymn to the moon.

Are. A hymn ta ttie moun ! Ill have none of

Jour n^iiiQs in my bouse — Give mo tlie book,
tousewrife.

Are, I liope, xr, tliere is no crime id reading a
harmless poem t

Arg. Give mc the book, I say ? pfXMos, with a

^ pOi ! what are they good for, but to blow up the

. nre of love, mid luukc younic wcnclws wantuo } —

But I have taken care of vou, uu«tn:»6 ! fur to-

aiurnm you shall have aDUjiond to tuy your

stomach, and no Icm a pcrvm than 'tquire
Cuckoo.

Are. You will not, surely, be so cruel as to
marry me to aninn I cannot love^

Arg. Why, what sort of a man would you hnve,
Mrs JJmx?

AIR.

Arc. Oentccl in personage,
Conduct, and equipage,
Noble hy heritaije,

Gcneroufi and free:
Brave, not rontantic;
Lcamcfl, not pedantic ;
Frf>Iic, not frantic ;

Tliii must be he.
Honour msintainmg,
Mcouucvt disdaining,
Still entertaining:,

F.iif^pi>g and new.
NcuL, but not finical ;
Sage, bat not cynical ;
Never tyrannical,

But ever tnic.

Arg. Why, is not Mr Cuckoo all ihi^? Adod.
he*»3 orisk youun fellow, and n little fcniher-bed
doctrine will soon put the cnptain out of your
hcnd : and, to put ton out nf his power, you shall
be given over to the squii-c to-inorn>w.

Are. Surely, sir, you will at least defer it mw
day.

Arg. No, nor one hour — ^To-mormw morning
at eight nf ilip clock prcciwly — In the mean tiro*-,
take notice, the squire's sister is hourly expected :
90, pray do you be civil and sociable with her, and
let me linve none of your uouts am) gluut^, as
you tender my difpteasure. [Erit Auovt.

Are. T'i'ntcirrnM is slmrt wnniin|! : but wc may
be too cuuuio^ fur you yet, old gentleman.

Enter Bcttt.

O Betty ! welcome a thousand times S ttbai
news ? have you seen tlie captain ?

Bet. Yes, madam ; and if you were to sec him
ill hii new ri^ii^, you'd spli: your sides witli
bughlni: — Such a hoyden, Mich a piece of coun-
try stuHi you never set your eyes on ! — But the
pettiCbatfi are soon thrown oiT; and if good luck
aticnds us, you may easily conjure MissMoUuD,
the squirc*» sisicr, iino your own dear captain.

Are. But when will they cmue?

Hrt. liiniautly, maduni; lie only itays to settle
matters fur our escape. He's in deep ronsulia-
tion with liift privy-c<>un»ellor Uobin, who is to

attend him In the quahiy of a ctuntry put

I'hev'll both be here in » moment; fc> let's id.
and pack np the jcwrls. thnt wr may be ready
at once to leap into tlic saddle of liberty, and
ritk full ipctd to yuut deures.

\

BRITISH DRAMA.

^rc. X>ew Betty^ let** makohastc; I think
evcrr noneat ao' age till I'm free from tliis
bondage.

AIR.

VHten parents obstinate and croe! prore.
And force us to a man we cnnnot lovr^
Tis fit we disappoint tbe sonlid elves.
And wtaelj get ws husbands for ourselves.

Bet. There ittcj i

-in, in !
[A knocking without.

I

Axcrsynwn abovt,

Arg. You're wound)' hiutr, nii-lhink<i, tokmK-lc
at chat nu«^— Thii is ocrtainl; wine coitrticr cumc
to borrow money ; I know il bv the saiir v rnp-
pme <if the footnuui — Who*» nt tlie door?

Hoh. Tummpj ! [^WithutU iloort.

Arg. Tumincn! Willi's Tumraos ? Who would
yea speak with, friend f

J?o6. With yuun? master's vather-in-latv, that
muo be^ master H>ird);ut<t.

Arg. And what's your business with master
Hardguta?

£a& Why, ynune mislress is come ont of the
coavcry to sec brother's wife, that aiuu be, Liuit'»
all.

Arg. Odeo, ibe squire's sister '. I'm sorry I
■■de ber wait so tocg. [Ktit HatiHy.

SCENE III.— J chamltr.

AlOCaMf/tM^nn^'RovEWLLLin irainan't clatArx, .
/oiloactt hy Kobin at a clown.

Arg. Saw you, fair Imly ! you're welcome to
imriL [RovcwELL furtsei/s.] A vrry modest
uitkiit truly ! tlow long nave vuu been in
lown ?

Roh. Why, an hour and a bit or ao- — we ju<it
fot up horses at Kinn's Arms yonder, and srnid
s erum to see pour things feed, for vour I^ondoit
mlers give little enough to poor bcahts; nii' ymi
Moad not by 'em yourzelli and see 'em (v^, as
MOO as your back'ft lumed, ndod, they'll cheat
]Oa afore your face,

Arg. Why, how now, Clodpatc? are you to
ipeak before your nuBtrcss, and with your hat
W, too f Is that your oouQtry-breedioe t

Roh, Why, an 'tis on* 'tis ou, ati' 'ti^ oiT, 'tis
off — what Cares Tiimnms for your fal&c-hearttd
Looduu cumpliniuitsf An' you'd Imre nil Hi»wrr
/ram youuK mistress, you muo look to Tummos;
for ihr's VI nv-tin biuhfut, slit iwver Hpcuks one
won) (Hit her prayers, and tbos'n so softly that
aabckdy can bear bcr.

Arg. X hke tier the better for thnt; tilcnce is
shaavmlv virtue in a womnn, but very rare to
W iband in this wicked (ilace. Jln^cyou seen
JWir bnitbcr, pretty InHy, linre yon ramr to
iiiwii? [llovrwLLl nirtirj/t.] i), niiniculous nio-
^Wy ! wuald all woineu were thus ! Can't you
•(Mk* madam f [ ItovawsLL eurUeyt egaiH.]

Rot. An' you get a word from her, 'tis mon
nor she has spoken to us these fourscore and se-
ven long loiles; btic young mistress will pmte
ftvit enough, an' vou Kt ber among your women
volk.

Arg. .Sny'st thou so, honest follow * 111 send
her to those that have tongue enough, I'U war-
rant you. ficrc, Betty !

Enter Betty.

Take this jroung lady to my daughter ; 'tis squit«
Cuckoo's si<ilcr; tiiid, d've liear) make much of
her, I charge yuu.

Bet. Yes, sir Please to follow me» ma-
dam.

Rope. Nc}w, you rogue, for a lie an linur and a
half Jong, to keep the old fellow in suspeucc.

{Aiide to KoRiK. Krit n-ith BLrry.
Rob. Well, iiiosItT I don't you liiink my mis-
tress a diiinty yuung nomnti ? Slie's wonderfully
bcinircd in onr country fur liL'r ■tliHfx.'n.

Arg. Oh. she's a line creature, indeed ! But,
wliere's ijie ftt|uire, hone»t friend?

Itiili. Whv, onr iitnnot tincl a innn nut in this
ssinc Londuniihire, there are so miiiy taverns ■
and ch<»cLlins liousen; you may na well syek a
needle in a buy fiirdci, as they jciy'n i' the coun-
try. I wns nt squire's lod^tnc yomler, niid (here
was iiobo<iy but a pralc-iijKicc whorrvin of n
tout-tHiv, and he told inc maistcrwas at a chock-
ling liousc, nod all the uhile the vixon did no-
liiing but taunt and laugh ni utc : Tend, I could
hare found in my heart to hnvo ^i'n him a good
nhirrit in the c)ui|is. So, I went tonne clmck-
ling house, and t'other chock! ing- house, till I
was quite tvi-ary ; and I could sec iiothiiig but a
mony people supping hot suppings. and reailing
yuur gnziiig papers: we had miicli udo to find
out your v'orship's house; the vixon buys set
us o thick, side, and ihst side, till wo ucre al-
most quite Inst; nu' it were nnt for an hone«t
fellow that knowctl yuur wimhip, and set us in
the right way.

Arg. Tis pity they should use strangers so;
but as to yuur young mistress, docs she never
speak i

Roif. Adod, sir, never to a mon; why, she
wo'not speak to her own father, she's so main
bashful.

Are. Tlial's strange, indeed ! But how does
niy friend, sir Kniier? he** well, 1 hope?

Rob. Hearty Mill, sir — He hiis drunk down
six fox-hunters sin Inst Liunmas ! He holds his
old course still ; twenty pipes a-<lay, a cup of
mum in the morning, a tankard of ale At nr>on,
and three bottles of stingo at night. The same
mon now he was thirty years ago; and young
scpiire Yedwnrd is just cumc from varsity ; lawH,
he'd m&iiilv growd sin you saw him ! he's a fine
propcr^tall geiitlciniin now; why Iw'a near upon
us tall as you or I, taun.

I

ts

BRITISH DRAMA.

{Carbv.

Arg. Good now, good now ! Bat woalds't
dnnic, hoacst friend.

Rob, I dun't rare an' I do, & bit or so ; for, to
My truth, I'm mortal diy.

Arg, Here, John !

Enter Servant.
Take this honest felluw down, and make him
welrome. When your mistress is ready to go,
we'll call you.

Rob. Ah ! pray, take care sad make much of
me, for 1 am a bitter honest fellow, an' you did
but know me. [Exit Robin, with tereant.

Arg. These country fellows are very blunt,
but Tcry honest. I would fain hear his mistress
talk. }ie ^d she would find her tongue when
she was amongst those of her own sex. I'll ^o
listen for once, and bear ntiat the young tils
have to say to one another. [Exit,

Enter Rovewell, Arethosa, and Bettt.

Rove. Dear Arethusa, delay not the time
thus ; your father will certainly come in and sur-
prise ns.

Bet. Let ns make hay while the sun shines^
madam : I long to be out of this prison.

Are. So do I ; but not on the captain's condi-
tions, to be his prisoner for life.

Rffve. I shall run mad if you trifle thus : name
your coDditioDs ; 1 ngn my consent before-hand.

[Kiuet her.

Are. Indeed, captain, I am afraid to trust
you.

AIR.

Cease to persuade.

Nor say you love sincerely ;
When you've Iwtrayed,

You'll treat me most severely*
And fly what once you did pursue.
Happy the fair

\Vho ne'er believes you,
But gives despair,

Or else deceives you.

And learns inconstancy from you.

Rove. Unkind Arethusa ! I little expected this
usage from you.

AIll.

When did yon sec

Any falsehood in me,
ThdX thus you unkindly suspect me ?

Speak, speak your mind ;

For I fear you're inclined,
In spite of my truth, to reject me.

\i it must be so,

To the wars I will go,
Where danger my passion shall smothet;

I'd ratlicr perish there,

Than linger in despair.
Or sec yoa in the arms of anotber.

Enter Argvs, behind.

So, so ! this is as it should be ; tbey am a*

gracious as can be already ^How the young

tit sinuesles her ! Adod, she kisses witb m bearty
good -will.

Are. I must confess, captain, I am half incli-
ned to believe you.

Arc. Captain ! how is this ! bless my cye-
si^iit r T know the villain now ; but 1*11 be even
with him.

Bet. Dear madam, don't tnfle so ; the parson
is at the very next 4oor, you'll be tacked toge-
ther in an instant; and then 111 trust yott CO
come back to your cage again, if yon can do it
with a safe conscience.

Arg. Here's a treadierous jade ! but 111 do
your business for you, Mrs Jezebel.

Bet. Consider, madam, what a life yoa lead
here ; what a jealous, ill-natured, watdiful, cove-
tous, barbarous, old cuff of a father you have to
dt:al wiih — What a glorious opportunity t^s is^
and what a sad, sad, very sad tmng it is, to die a
maid !'

AIR.

Would you live a stale virgin for ever?

Sure you are out of your senses,

Or these are pretences ;
Cau you part with a person so clever }

In trotli you are highly to blame.
And you, my lover, to trifle ;

I thought that a soldier,

Was wiser and bolder !
A warrior should plunder and rifle ;

A captain ! Oh, fle for shame !

Arg. If that jade dies a maid. 111 die a mar-
tyr.

Bet. In short, madam, if yoa stay mnch lon-
ger, you may repent it every vein in your heart
— The old hunks will undoubtedly pop in upon
us and discover alt, and then we're undone for
CTer.

Arg. You may go to the devil for ev^, Mn
Impudence !

Are. Well, captain, if you should deceive.rae !

Rov. If 1 do, may heaven- - —

Are. Nny, no swearing, captain, f(v fear yoa
should prove like the rest of your sex.

Rod. How can you doubt me, Areibnsa, when
you know how much 1 love you?

Arg. A wheedling d(^ ! But FIl spoil his sport
anon.

Bet. Come, come away, dear madam !— — I
have the jewels ; but stay, I'll eo first, and see if
the coast be ch-ar. [Argus meett her.

Arg. Where are you a-going, pret^ maiden?

Bet. Only do — do — do— down-stnin^sir.

(«nr

Jirg. And wfaat hut tbeu f^nt there, cUild !

Jt*t. Sotbiofi but pi — pi — pi — pins, ur.

A- ' . give me the pins, und do you go to

liel t; ! DVc hear f out of my hoiise

dn nKsncaL : dacsc arccltwatjcr jadcK, f<irsix>lli !

^41 Anpars .' O mora! what an afl;e is this!

OeC jfx in funouth; Til talk wilh vnu anun.

"" ' AftiTxrsa.] So, aiptaint Arc those 3rour

1 dottam^ I'll Buare you tlicjr become

U'tdo 4id bat see tonrsell' now,

: s bero rov look ! £cce uanum J

JUme. Blood uhI funr! itop your (grinning, or

ni mrtch foar moutli witb n vtn(;canc«!.

Jtrg. Nay, nayi ca^(«iii Bclswa(!^tT, if you're

"~ ~'" Bie, 'lis higti tiiiw: 10 call aid wid a*-

err, Ukhnrd. Thomas, John! Iielp ine

I on ibis fellow : you Iravc no ^wuilI

'c^iCaiii ; M tironJ^ d'ye tnaric mc 1

Enter Serraati and RoniN.
fi««. But 1 baire a pistol, air, at yriur Aerrii'e.

[PutiM out a patol.
Jkrg. O Lont ! O Lord !
ItviK. And I'll unload it in ^uar brcnst, il'yoa
Mr aoe tup after me.
Ar$. A Lloody-miaded dog ! But tay bold on
t fopw dicrc, tUat coantry<bcat.

Roft. Sec here, pontlenwii, m Sro little boU-
dopof the sainc breed (PfYjend'n/r tno pittott,)

they are woodtrful »courer« of Uic brnin ; so

that, if jou iilTcr to molest or follow tue- you

undnnitaiid mc, gcutlemeo ? you understand mc i

1 Scr. Yes, yes; wc uoderaiand jou^ with it

[KIS !

2 Ser. The devil go wilh them, I siy !

Arg. Av, ny; pfxtd-Jtvc to you, io tJie devil'i
iinmp. — a' terrible dofi! — what a fripitc he has
put me in ! — I shan't U? myself this month. And
you, yt^ oovranily r&bcals ! to stand by ar.<] tee mf
liCe in dai)|£cr; jret out, >e sla»f 9 ! out of my

hnusT, [ snv ! I'U put un end to alt thi&; for

I'il nut have a scrraiit in the bouse. — I'll carry
all the keys iu my pocket, and never sleep tnon*.
Wlut a PiTirdi'rin;; sini of a wliorc is tbtft ! But
I'll prevrtit him ; for to-morrow sbc shall lie
married certainly, and then my fuHoiia gentle-
man can have no hopes loff. A Jezulirt, to

heho H n-d-coiit without any money ! — Ilnd he
but mot>cy — if he wauttd sci.se, manners, or even
manhood itself, it mnltercd not a pin ; — but to
want money i<i the devil! Well, I'll secure her
undtT luck and key till to-morrow ; and if her
husband can't keep Iter from captain-tmnt]i^,
c'cn Irt herbringhimn frcMi |Mur ofhorns every
time bUe goes out upuu the cliase. \^Esir.

ACT II.

SCENE X^-^ CA/rni^.

ASCTWU discovered titting otclavchohf on a
couch.

Am.

0 Icmrm me to curaptniti
MrloDaofbheTty!

1 itr^er more shall sec my swmn,

Xor cTcr more lie free.
O truel, cruel Fate !

What joy can I receive^
Wbrai in lU^ arms of one I hate,

I'm doomed, alas, to lite?
Ye pitting ptw'n ultmr,

'\ luu w wv Mml'n dismay.
Or bnnc mc back ihv man 1 love.

Or take my bfe nwsy.

Enter A aces.

Jrw. 9o^ ludy I vuu'rc welcome home '. — Sec
Ivnr tr>f rrittr nirlle tus mnnnmf: tlic lil^^ ul" lirr
ms- • \ niit !i word, Thusy ? not a word,

iki . i-;ome; don't be in the dumps nnw,

mA i'ii uu'ii ibr r.-iiii»m, or tlxr 'w^iire'*. aistt-r .
^•rhapK tt»ry may »ual.c it pmule a bit - —Ah,
iW|yiL»uu*'e,ii I ! ' U nil my care come to thi« * In
ttn tibe (ratitiide you Minw your mide's memory,
i» Ibraw amy what be hud bustled su bard fur,

nt so mad n rate? Did he leave you ie,000l.
think vmi, tn muVe you no hetler thnn a soldier's
trull ? to follow a caoip i to carry a knap-
snck f Ihis is what yond hare, mistress, is it
not?

vire. Tliis, and ten tKousand timcfi worse,
were- better with the man I love, tbun to be
(hained to the nauseous embraces of one F
liatc-.

Arg. A \er\ dntiful lorly, indeed ! I'll make
you smfT anollter 9011c toHiiorrow ; and. till titcu,

I'll loavc vnu IK fo/m eustojia, lo coutidcr.

tfyc. llm'sy !

Arc. Ham bnrbnrouii is the covetonsnrsti imd
«:4iutiun of dl-iiiiturwi |m.rcnt5 ! They toil for
estates with a view tomuke posterity h:ippy ; nitj
then, by u mist^en prudence, they matrh us to
iiur ni-crsion. Bur. I nm molred not to sullcr '
ttunclv, however— Ihry iliall see, tluiui;Ii my
body's wenL, my resolution's stnmc; and 1 may
yet ItoJ spirit enough to plague them.

AIIL

Sooner than Til my love forego.

And lo*>c die man I prize,
111 bmvcly combat every wcic,

Or fnli n socritire.
Nor bolls nor bom »hiilt me oontroul,

I death imd duiigc-r dare ;

30

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Cabey*

Restrnint but fires die Active soul.

And ur^s fierce dnpiur.
Tbe wiodow ituw shall be mjr S>tO(

I'U cilfaer fail or Ay :
Before I'll live with him I UatCf

For him I love Ftl die. [Adieu.

SCENE'II.— 7^c Strtet.
Heartt amd Rovcwxll meeting.

Hov. So, in.T dear frieiid, here already?——
Tim is very kind.

Hear. Sure, coptain, this lady must hare
Mime extrnordinnry Toerit for Mhuin you under-
take such difficultie!) ! What are her particular
charms behides her money ?

Mine. I'll telJ yuu, sir.

AIR.— T&e vorda by another hand.

Without aficctation, piy, youdiful, and pretty ;
Widioiit pride or ineainip^s, familiar and witty;
Without fiirms, nhliging, good-natured, and

free;
Without artr as hivply ns lorely can be.
She acts what she tliinks and &he thinks wliat

she sayi,
Kegardle&s alike lioth oi conjure atid praise ;
Her thouf^hts, and hvr words, and her at^ions

arc 6uch,
That nunc can admire theoij or praise ber^ loo

touch.

Hear. Well, luccess attend you !-

-You
kmnr wlicre to find me wheo there's occasion.

{Eiit.

Znter Bot.

-Bty. Sir, nr ! I want to speak «itfa y«u.

Rovf. r* year mistress locked up, jay you *

Botf. Vci^ sir, nnd Betty's turtiRd nway, and
all ihc meti-servantA; nuil there's ao liviiif; soul
in the huusp but our old C4>'>k-rafiid, mid I, and
my inii5ter, and Mrs Thu>y ; and she cries, and
cries her eyes out almost.

Have. O [|>e tonueQiiog news! But if thegar-
risoH is so wcnk, tlic castle lony be the sooner
stormed, llitw did you gc-t out ?

ifoy. Through the kitchoo-window. sir.

ilave. Show mr the wiihIuw presently.

Din/. Aluci-a>day, it wou'c do, sir ! "I'hat plot
won't lake !

Hotr. Why, sirmti ?

J^tf. You are Mmtdhii^ too big, *ir.

HitTv. V\\ try ihut, however.

HoH. Indeed, !;ir, you coo'c tcec joorlegio; but
I Ctiild [lilt you in a \«iy.

Hove. How. dear Iwy!

Boif' I can Icitd you ttie key of Mrs Thusv's
eliambcr— If you ton contrirc to get into tbc

house But yoo mau be sore to iet my mis-
tress out.

Rave. Hoir couldst diou get it I This is almost
a miracle.

finy. I pdied it out of mf master's coU-

Cocket this morniug, sir, as I was ^brushing
iiD,
Rave. Tliat'fi my boy !)T1ierc*s money for yon:
tliis child will come to good in time.

Buy. My master will miss me, sir, I must p»;
bat 1 wish you good luck. \_&iU.

ANL

Aretrcsa, a( the witt^m above.
A dialit^cur bctaeen her and Rovevell.

Acre. Make haste and away, my only dew;

Make liaste, and nw»y, awayl
Fiir all at the gHtc, _

Your true lover does wait.

And I prithee make no delay.
Arc. O how lUiall I steal away, my lore?

O Imw shall I steal away f
ftly daddy is near.
And I daru not for fear ;

Pray, come then onotlier day.
Rov. O tim is the only day, my life !

U tliU is tlie only day !
I'll draw hiin aside.
White you throw the gates wide,

And then you muy steal away.
Are, Then, prithae nuke lu delay, my dear;

IWii, pritlu^e m«ke oo delay :
We'll serve him a triok ;
For I'll slip in the nick,

And Willi my true luvc away.

Cnoatrs.

O Cupid, befriend a loving pair !

O ('ii{Nd, befriend us, we pray !
Msy our slrataj^ins take,
For thine own iwcct sake;

And, Amen ! lei oil true lorers say,

[AatrutiSA mthJrtm,

Enter RoBlJi a( a laaytr, and aold*ers.

Rov. F^i, my hearts of oaks, are you all ready?

SoU. \' -, an't please your honour.

Hove. \uu know your cue iheo to youf

post.

[They retire to a comer of tke Mtage ; ke
kmirki »martty mt the door.

Rob. VV'hat, are you all asleep, or dead in ihe
house, that you can't hear?

[Ancvs, hnidine the door in his hand.

Are. Sir, you arc very hasty, metluok^— >

R^. Sir, my busincsa rc<)uire« baste.

Arm. Sir, you IhuI belter make biufib about i^
for 1 koow no busioess you have bcro.

Caut.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

JM. Shf I am cooie lo tnik iritli jou od ho

p 8uv 1 ddi^t loTO talking; 2 know you
caoteqtMBtljr can bare no kfkirsnith

itflk Sr, not know mc !

Arg. Sir, His enough fnr mc to know mjaelf.

Jw. A dunned tfawirtii^ nid do^; this same !
[ tnVr J Sir, I lire but just m iIk next strwt.

[7Vi him.

Jrg. Str ! if you lived at Junoica, 'tis the
ftMC tbinfi to me,

AaL [^jidic.] I find coaxing won't do. X must
chaatt my norc, or I shall never unkennel tbis
•Uta — '—{To tim.] Well, Mr Ar^as there's
K» haroi docM^ so take ;our leave o( 30001. You
laa« aoHMgh of jroor own already. [Going.

df% U4W ! 3000. ! I must inquire into this.
[ititdr.] Sir. a word with you,

Aai. ^v ! I have nutliiOK to say to you. I
■Bik yoo to be a prudent pervm. that ktietr the
wtfiof moiicT- and huw to iinpruvc ic; but, I
iad Fn deonvcd.

Arf. Stf, 1 hope yonll excuse oiy rudeness ;
W^ ]<oa kiww, a man cannot be too cautiaui.

XfA. Sir, tluM's true ; and, tbererora, 1 excuse
*m; boi I'd take sudi ireatn>eiit frum no man
*«i Pngh^^ bendes younclf.

Jkrg. Sir* 1 beg your pordoa; but, to the bu-

JUi. Wliy» tlMis it is : a 9f>en<lthrift young frl-
lo* b iptllofKiif; through u plculil'ul fortune : 1
kaMlencfUOOI. upon it already; atid, if you'll
arinaec an equivalent, we'll torecluse the whole
cttte, and share it between lui ; fur, I know, he
CM M*er redeeat ic

Arg. A Tcry judicinos man ; I'm sorry I af-
boBtcd bim. [diide.J But buw is this to be

Rmi. Very easily, sir. — A word in your ear;
• tiole Bore ttiis way.

{i>rmt» kimaudf; the $ottiitrt grt tetteecn
A*m and the lUtorA
4rf. But the title, fir, the title f
RJi. Da you doubt my vrnuity }
Jrg. Not in the lean, nr; but one cnniwt be

MOMfT.

JUk Tbal*« very true, vr : and, tlicrcforc, I'll
Wtkm sure of you, now 1 Imvc you.

[Raftl» trip* up Aw ktrl* ; the utitiiers hlin<t-
j'vid And gfi^ Ami, nnd Hand avcr him,
■»AiilfHorEWELLcarri<ii\iiETUl'd,4c//;
mfier »AicA, /Ary kavt ^i"), Ae making
« grtat Mvuc.

Entrr Mob.

ML Vfhifff the msticr, Mlint's tlie matter I

[T/try tirtgag hint, A'C.
Art. O neiffliboun! X'm rubbed aiul murdered,
naacd, aad ondune for ercr.
I iU6. Why, what's ilic matter, ma&ter?
Aig. Tberc's a whole lejiyu of thicrcs in my

sioiiiiblencM have I to be killed for bim or yuu

house ; they gagted and blindfolded me, and of-
fered forty naked swords at my brcusc 1 beg

of you to aasiM me, or tbe/ll strip the house in
a niiniiie.

3 Hob. Forty drawn swordsi, say you, sir?

Arg. Ay ; and more, I diink, on my con-
science.

3 AfoA. Then, look vou, sir, I'm a married
m»n, and have a large fainilv; I would not veu'
tiire aniong^t such n parcel or Uond-liiinty r02;ue.v
for the world ; but, if you please, I'll run and
call a conittAblc.

AU. Ay, ay ; cull a constable^ call a constable !

Ar^. I shiiu'i htive tt penuy left, if we stay for

a cnnstoble lam but one marii; and, as old

as 1 am, I'll lead the way, if you'll follow me.

[Extt Abo.

AU. Ay, ay, in, in ; foUaw, follow ; biizza 1

1 Alob. Prithee, Jack, do you go in, if yoa
cotac t» that.

4 MJt. I £0 in ! vtbat shuuld I go in for? I
havu Ifibt notliing.

Worn. What ! nobody to help the poor old pcn-
tlcnian^ odds bobs ! if I vas a man, I'd follow
him mvMlf.

3 iiok Why don't you, then f Wluit oeca-

)imble ' " • ■ •

either?

£NfepItoBiM, aseoattabU.

AIL Here's Mr Consuble, here's Mr Consta-

hle !

Itoh. Silence, in the king's name !

AU. Ay. silence, silence.

R(tb. Wlinl'n the uteauin^ of this riot? Who
mal.ci> all tliis disiarbanoe?

1 Mob. I'll tell you, Mr Constable.

3 MotK An't please your worship, let tub
speak.

Rob. .Ay ; this man talks like a man of parte
— What's tlic matter, friend ?

3 Mttb. An't plensc your noble worship's lir>-
naur mid ciory, tte arc his nuije^ty's licR< sub-
jects nnd were terrified out of our habitnlioii*
and dwc1linj;-plnces, by a cry from abroad; ubich
your noble ^iirsliip muAC understand was occa-
sionablc by die ^(PiiilFinnn nf ihi» bmiv, who wai
•in unfi>rttinable uh tn be killed by thieves, \*h»
nre uow in liii house to the uumberation of above
forlv, an't pleii>e your »v'»rslup, all completely
uriiifd with piiwdtr and ball, nnck-sworda, pu-
tolst bayoucK£, and bkindcrbusscb !

Rob. But wliai is 10 be done in this case ?

3 Mob. Why, nn please your wnrahip, know-
inc your noble honour to l>c the kine's luajestY**
noble officer of the peitee, we tfaouKbt 'twas best
your honour shouhl i.-omc and terrify the»e rogues
awnv with your noble auth'nity.

Hob. Well said ; very well sold, indeed !

Ctenilcmen, I am the ItinK's otbcer, and I uom-
tnnml you, in the king's ruunr, to aid ami assist
mc to cnll those rogues out of tlic bouw — Who's

ii

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Cabu.1

Lwi^n there? I cbar^ you come out, iu tlie
kiu|;'* UAincv aod submit younclres to our myal
tutbnnhr.

3 .\fiit'. Tlti& is the ^cntlematv thnt was killed,
mii't piease your wunhip.

Enter Aeigds,

Arg, O neiehbuun 1 I'm ruinefi ntid lutdone for
ever ! Tbrr Itaie tkkon awuy all that's dear to
mv in dkc wcrtU.

1 MiU». That* hilt luoney ; *cia a aad ci>retou6
dof;.

Rah. Why. whnt'» the matter? What liavr
thcv riQne i

Arm. O, iticy have taken oiy child frooi iii«,
jnv Tbuftv !
"fttf6. liood lock!

tt jlfofi. IkiaiTV couic up, what valuatjuii cnn
I abt be } Hut, hare ihcy taken noUiing cls« ?

Arg. Wnuld tlK-y bnd stript my house of every
peunywortlt, so ihcy hnH left loy diild !

1 M(A. Thnt'a n lie, I believe; for bo Invct
lu« numry more than his soul, and would sooner
part witli thut tltnii n {tn>at.

Arg. Thi» i& the captain's dti!ng<), bat I'll have
him luiniecd.

Rob. Hut wIktr nne tJie tHJc*-ca ?

Arg. Gone, gonCi beyond all hopes of pui^
»iiit.

a Mi^lt. Wlutt ! are they (tone? Tlien, come
neit^hbuurs, let u« go ia^ aud kill every mother's
child of thom.

Hob, Hold; I charge vou to commit no mur^
dcr ; f.illtiw iiic, nnd we'fl a(«prehend tliem.

Arg. Go, pilluins., rowardt, scnumlrcU, or I
shall !)U5pect you nre the ihieves (hut mean tu mti
ine of wliat is yet left. How brave you nre, now
all ttic dan£Cr*a over ! Uh, Mrndi, you doK !
[Looking at KomM.] yon arc tlint rogue, iCfihiu,
the captMo's nwtL Soxe himf neighboun, seize
him !

HiA. [Aiidc.'\ I don't care wliat yoo do, for
llie job'* over; I see my niuMcr a-coming.

Ar^. Why don't you seiie him, I «nv *

M<ih. Not we; we have lost too much time
about an old fool already.

S \Mk Ay : tlie next time you're boimd and
gaiKod, rou %hall He niwl be damned for me !

S Alw. Ay, and idc, too ; come ajnni;, neifrh-
bours, comeaJoi^, [Kxfnni Mub.

Enter Rovkwcll, ITkartt, AHCTttctA, and

Beitv.

Arg. Btnsnic! who hnvi* we got here' O

Thusy I Thuiy ! 1 had rniher ul-wt have seen

thee agun, loan have fouod you in such oam-

Are. Sir, I liope my htnfaoiid's company is not
rriniinnl '

Arg. Your huihaod ! who'n your hiubwM^
housewife? that scoundrel? Captain— f)at of ny

siftlit, tliou un^nioous wretch ! I'll fn make

ray will thi» ni^timt and you, you villain ! huw

dure you look me in the face after all this? ■

I'll have yi;u hancc^li sirrah ! I ivill bo,

Hfar. (> lie, hrulbc-r Ar^us ! moderate your
pas^iutl. It ill becumci tlie fricnd-Jiip you ()«e
S'ed Wortliy, to vilify and afTroiit his only child,
ami fE>r unoiher rriiiie thnii intprovin^ that friend-
ship whirh liBK «jvcr iHwn bclu«L-u us. ,

Arg. 11a! my dear friend alive ! I heard ri^^H
wcrt dt!ad m the Indies — Anil is that thr ton t^^H
uy c<ids(ju, tiju, if I am not miJiCakenr

Hear. ITic very miuic — the last and best rc-
mnin»nf nur family; forced by mv wife's cnielty,
Hud my absence, t» tlic nnny, My wife it sinot
dead, and thu fm ^le had by her fomuT hoa-
bond, whom she intended to heir my estaie; bat
fortune Ruideri me by chance to mj dear bayi
wild, aftiT twenty ymrs absence, and changing
my iiuutc, kiic-n me not, til 1 1 jutt now disruveied
myself li* him and your fair daughter, whum f
will nuiku him devrne by thirty thousand pounds*
Mliich I hro4itdtt frmn India, besides what real
estate 1 niny Iciivc at rov death.

Are. And to inuteh ttiat, old hoy, my doubter
iliidl have every penny of mine, l>e*idfH Iwr uik

cle's lecuey Ah I you young rt^ue, had I

known vou, I uuuld iixt hnie used yoo so r<Mi)(lb-

iy ! However, sinci: you have won my uirl *>

bravely, take her, niid welcome Btit you mu?t

excuse all rkulis 0\c old man meant all for

llio best ; you must not he niigry.

Ruv. f?ir, on the contmry, ^e oOKht tn beg
your |«rd<in fur the inuiiv disquiets wc hare fnwo
you; and, with )oi:r pariio;i, we crave yourblea^
ii»g. [ Thry kn<tt

Arg. Vnn have it, children, with alt my hran.
Adod, I a-n so tnintported, I don't know wbctlier
i walk or tly !

Are. May your joy be cvcrlastinj !

RovEWELL and Axcthliu, embrating.
DUETTO.

Tiiu<i fondly raressinj;.

My irt«I, mv rrrnwrB,
H(i«v i<reat is llie htessii^!

How fc»»cet is il»e p*eawre !
With |oy 1 behold iliec.

And iJoat on thy cliarms;
Thus wliile 1 enfold Uiee,

I've heaven m tny arms.

[Exeunt omtuL

THE

DEVIL TO PAY;

OR,

THE WIVES METAMORPHOSED.

BY

COFFET.

DRAMATIS PERSONS

MEN.
Sii JoHx LoTEiCLE, on honeMt country gentle-
flm, beitnedfor Ai< kotpitatity.

Cook,

PoaniA«i

CoAcauAy,

}oBsos, « psabihtinging cobler, tenant to Sis

JOHH.
DOCTOB.

■J

tenants to Sib John.

WOMEN.

Lady Lovervle, wife to Sir John, a proudf
eantingy brawUngf fanatietU threw.

Lettuce, i *"-««^-

Nell, Jobson's vi/r, an iniioceiif country girL

Tenanttf lervantt.

Scene-'A country village.

ACT I.

SCENE l.—The coblett house.

JoBSm and Nell.

Neil. Pkiyhec, good Jobson, stay with me
to-night, and for once make merry at home.

Job. Peace^peace, you jade, aiid go spin; for,
if [ lack any thread for my ititchlng, I will pa-
u^h you by virtue of ray sovereign authuiity.

Hell. Ay, marry, no doubt of that ; whilst you
t>ke jour swing at the alehouse, spend your sub-
^luce, get drunk as a beast, then come home
like a lot, and use one like a dc^.

M. Xonnz ! do you prate ? Why, how now,
t'uea^face, do you speak ill of the government F
Vouffl.

Don't you know, hussjr, that I am king in my
own house, and that this is treason against my
majesty ?

Nell. Did ever one hear such stuff! But, I
pray you now, Jobson, don't go to the alehouse
to*night !

Job. Well, 111 humour you for once ; butdonlt
grow saucy upon't; for I am invited by nr Jobtt
Lovcrule's butler, and am to be princely drunk
with punch, at theJiall place; we thaiX have a
bowl Inrge enough to swim in.

Nell. But they say, husband, Uie new lady will not
suflier a stranger to enter her doors ; she grudges
cveu a draught of small beer to her own servants ;

34

BRITISH DRAMA.

[CoFFET.

and several of the tenants have come home with
bruken headn from her ladysliip's own hands, only
for smeUing strong beer in the house.

Joi. A pox oil her for a fanatical jade ! she
has almost distracted the good knight : But she's
now abroad, feasting with her relations, and will
sctirce come home tu-night ; and we arc to have
much drink, a fiddle, and merry gambols !

Nell. O dear husband ! let me go with jou ;
we'll be as merry as the night's long E

Job. Why, how now, you bold baggage ! would
you be carried to a company of smooth-faced,
eating, drinking, lazy serving-men? no, no, you
jade, I'll not be a cuckold.

Nell. I'm sure they would make me welcome;
you promised I should see the house, and the fa-
mily has not been here before, since you married
and brought me home.

Job. Why, thou most audacious strumpet, dar'st
thou dispute with me, thy lord and master ? Get
\a and spin, or else my strap shall wind about
thy ribs most confoundedly.

AIR.— TAe TwUcker.

He that has ihe best wife.

She's the plague of his life ;
But for her that will scold and will quarrel,

L/^t him cut her off short

Of her meat and her sport.
And ten times a day hoop licr barrel, brave boys !
And ten times a duy hoop her barrel.

Nell. Well, we poor women must always be
slaves, and never have any joy ; but you men
run and ramble at your pleasure.

Job. Why, you most pestilent b^^age, wilt you
be hooped ? Be gone.

Nell. I mast obev. [Going.

Job. Stay ! now 1 think on't, here's sixpence
for you ; )£et ale and apples, stretch and puflT thy-
self up with lamb's-wool, rejoice and revel by thy-
self, be drunk, and wallow in thy own sty, like a
grumbling sow as thou art.

He that has the best wife,

She's the plague of his life, i^r. [Exeunt.

SCENE II. — Sir Joun's house.

BvTLER, Cook, Footman, Coachman, Luct,
Lettice; 4c.

But. I would the blind fiddler and our dancing
neitihlxmrs were here, that we nimht rtjoice a
little, while our termagant lady is abniad; I have
made a most sovereign bowl of punch.

Liity. We had need rejoice Miiiietinies, for
our devilish new lady will never suffer it in her
hearing.

But. I will maintain, there is more mirth in a

f^Uey, than in our family : Our master, indeed,
IS the wortiiiest gentleman nothing but sweet-
ness and liberality.

Foot. But here's a lionse turned topsy-turvj,
from heaven to hell, since she came hither.

Lucy. His former lady was all virtue aud mild-
ness.

But. Ay, rest her soul, she was so; but this
is inspired with a legion of devils, who make her
lay about her like a fury.

huci/. I am sure 1 always feel her in my bones:
if her complexion don't please her, or she looks
yellow in a morning, I am sure to look bladi.and
blue for it before night.

Cook. Pox on her ! I dare not come within her
reach. I have some six broken heads already.
A lady, quotha ! a she-bear is a civiler animal.

Foot. Ileaven help my poor master ! [his de-
vilish termagant scolding wumim will be the death
of him ; I never saw a man so altered all the days
of my life.

Cook. There's a perpetual motion in that tongue
of hers, and a rinnmed shrill pipe, enough to
break the drum of a man's ear.

Enter blind Fiddler, Jobson, and neighboun.

But. Welcome, wclojme all; this is our wish !
Honest old acquaintance, goodman Jobsun ! how
dost thou f

Job. By my troth, I am always sharp set to-
wards punch, and aip now come with a firm re-
solution, though hut a poor cobler, to be as rich-
ly drunk as a lord. I am a true English heart,
and look upon drunkenness as the best port bf
the liberty of the subject.

But. Come, Jobson, well bring out oar bowl
of punch in solemn procession ; and then for a
song to crown our happiness.

[Thei^ all go outt and return with a boml ef
punchy

AlVL—Charles of Sweden.

Come jolly Bacchus, god of wine.
Crown this niuht with pleasure;

JjCt none at cares of life repine.
To destroy our pleasure :

Fill up the mighty sparkling bowl.

That every true and loyal soul

May drink and sing without controul.
To support our pleasure.

Thus, miglity fticchus, shalt thou be

Guardian of our pleasure;
That, under thy pnitection, we

May enjoy new pleasure.
And ns the hours glide away,
We'll, in thy name, invoke their slay^
And sing thy prnisrs, that we may

Live and die with pleasure.

CoFTttT.^

BRITISH DRAMA.

ts

>

But, The lud| ami llic royal family, in a biini-
■er! —

Ain.

n«Tr'« « p»od hrallh to tlic king,
Ami fttnd litin a pnwpennw rt-ign ;

O'er hiUs Mt)d liiuli maun liki its,

We'll flrink Arv tUr liHtnriiins,
Until tltf tuu riMrs di^in, bntve hoys!
UniiJ the sua rues ngain.

Then, bci*'* m ihce, my hnj boon>
And hwe'-i lu the*, my buy lioon ;

Ai wf'vc larnvil nil dny

For t'l drtiik tlon-n ihe stin,
So «f '11 un-y bikI drmk duwo ihc moon, brave

So w«*U tany and drink dom> iI»o niooii.

0«Mr«. 11 una!

£ii/^Sin Jons, flru/LAOT.

IjtJy. O neitrcnnnHcnrih ! Wbai'v here with-
my Alton f U boll I>rnkv loosed W'Imi troops
'endt mre ber« f ^irnili, you impiidvnt ntscal,
•peak!

Sir Jokn. For ihaoic, my dear! A « this is

« bins of mirth nrifl jollity, it ha* always bt'rn
the ortuin of my Iiuum:, tu |;ivo my wniinU li-
httVr in thf- srnvfh, and to treat my couittrv
Ott^b>iiin>, ihul with inaocent spurts tlicy iii:iy
^rt Umfiiclvcs.

Im^> I MV, m«ddlc wit)) yniir own afTnir- : I
«iU pivem my own Ixxise, niihont yourpoitinK
ii an oar. ^hBtl I n«k leave id correct my nun
ftrvaiui^

Sir JrtAn. t ihniiglit, mudnm, thi<i had hof^n
m^ hooac, and tht>e my tcniinu and KnnuL>J.

Lm*fy- l^iil I brim; it iWtunc, to tie thus ahiiscd,
tad mxiiihtid befnrv pmple? Do you aill my nii-
tbortty III lucfttKiii. iinL;mtcful miin? Lofik ynu
tB ttiur d'tji^ and hnrH'(» abroad, lint it »linil iie
tai yt^niuCv tn i^vi^rn here; nor will I be cnn-
lnaiE(l by e'er a huniiug, ba^vking knigiit m
Unoieoiiuui.

AIB.— Sef l;y Mr Sz£do.

Sit Join. Yr ff^ ! Tou ipve to me a wife.

Out uf your trace and I'avour,
To br the comfort of my lifr.

And 1 WB»> t£l)"l tt* liavf tirr :
Hut if yntir I'nividcnce ilivine.

For artiitcr bli-* d«.-sii:n her.
To tibey yoitr miIU at anv liino

1 am ready to rcugn her.

tW it i« o> be married to a continiiiLl tempest.
W» «iu| tMrne, cniitiiu; uiid liyimcrisy, are t-lpr-
fi^J afiooL — 'I'l* impoMihlc to bear it lon^.
Im^ Ye 6Ulir scoundretsy and odious jndcs!
S

I'll tmdi yuii to jiinLf^ thos, ahi! steal my pro*i-
sioiis: J shull be dcYdiiri'd iil this rule.

Riil. 1 (himstit, muilam, we tni^lit bo merrr
once ii]»ijii II liohrluT.

iM'ty. Mtiliit^iv, yon popifth cur! Iv one dajr
more holy tlmn titiiirhrrr and il' it be, you'll be
sure to uct drunk u|>i>n it, you roeuc! [Beati!iimJ\
Vnu mini, yttn impudi-ut tlirt, arc ^ou ji(:sinQ iC
nl'U.T an afaDOitimblc Ii4ldlc? all danruic i» t^lKnisfay
hucby ! [''"I^* A^'* ^'/ 'A^ forft

iMctt. O lud ! she Inw pullMl nffbolh my eai-s.

Sir 'JtJ>n. Hray, inadiim, ronsidrr yhur dcx and
qunlily ! I blu»h lor your behAiinur.

Lndif. Consider your inrupacity ; you ^hall not
iitstmrc rae. Who are ynu, thuK muOU'd ? you
biirzard ! [She heatt them aU ; .loBso^ steals by,

Joh. I aiD an liont-vt, plnin. pMilni-sin^s ^'^
Uer, inmlum ; if vuur lady^Iiip would but go to
church, ynu might liear mc nbore nil the rest
tliert",

iWy. rn try thy voice here first, villain !

[Stnkcs him,

Jah. Nonnx ! what a pox, what a deril niU
you?

Im^v. O profane wretch ! wiekcd mrict !

.S*> Jahn. For <;hati)C ! your lithnviuur is moiv
strous !

JMtfy. Was crer poor lady so miseraUe in a
brui»b husbami n> I nin i I, thut am so pious, and
M* religious n woiumi !

Job. [Sings.] lie that 1ms the best wife,
■SIilS the pln'iuc of lil« life.
But for bcr that will scold and will fi'iunel —

[iiiii Job.

Jji/ti/. () rthjiK-, scoimdrel, villain!

.S*r John. KcmcmluT mo'lcsty.

ImJi/. I'll milt voo all nith a I'engeance; 111
spoil V'lur ttqui-nkiim trtr'ilc.

(Hrriti thf tidiHe ittmut (hr htind men't heoH.

t'lti. <> munk'r, nniider! I am n dark man;
tvliich way .Oiiill I qct hence? <-lh IJeavcn I »lie
lias broke my Addle, and utidunc me nod my wifu
and chiUlntn.

Sir John. Here, jiooi- fellow • take your itiifT
and bf Konc ; Tl»cre'» money to buy t*)U two inrh;
that'* your way. ] Hjif fid/Her.

Ladif. Mcthtnk<i you arr very libcruU sir ; must
my eiitntc maintmn you in your profuw'uess ?

Sir Johit. ih> op to your clir>ct, pmy, and cont-
posc ytHtr niiikd.

jMritt. O wicked man ! to bid me pray !

Sir John. A man can't be coniplcielv eurM, I
ice. without marriage ; hot, *!ince there k such
a thini; us vparnte inaiiiteiiance, (the fthiUl to-
morrow enjoy (he benefit ni it.

AITU — Of all eotufiwti J miKHrricd.
Of the states in life so viiriou'i,
Mnrriagt*, mre, ii roo«t pn'Carioiia;
Tia a auae to ttronfiely wmdinij^
Still we are new mazes lindiug;

to

BRITISH DRAMA.

[CoPPtY.

*Tts an ftctton so wvere,
Tlint noujiht but drath can set us dear,
lluppv's Uic mail, rroiu wedlock free.
Who Knows lo priic his libcrij :

Were innn »ary

lliiw they nutrnr,
We should not be b; half bo full of misery.

^KMOeking at the doorJ\ Here, vthere ore my %kt-
k^nuiUf Must they be fnghicd from uic? — VVitliiu
Ptbere — Ke who knock*.

XtfdT^. Within Uitre ! — Where are ray sluu ? Yc

drabs, yc queans — Lights tiicrc \

Enter Seruaiitt siuakingt nith candUs.
Suf. Sir, it is u doctor that livoi teiiiuilesoff;
J In pniclisCA lihjsic, auil n an aBtntlut-cr : your
l.worwup knunit hint very well; he ib b cunuiiie
inuui, makes almnnocks, and cou help people to
I their gouds ngniii.

Entn- Doctor.

Hoc. Sir, I humbly \\&^ your honour's parduu
for this un>cnson»hlc inrrusion ; but 1 aiu l>c-
iiighlc<l, trad 'ti» so ihtrk that I ctin't poM'ibly 6iid
my way hwne; and kmiwing your worship'* htis-
pitabty, desire the favour to be harboured urtder
jour roof lo-oiphL

Ltidy. Out of my faouMii jod lewd conjurer, you
> mKiciou \

Dot. Here's a turn \ — Here's a chance ! — Well,
if I hare any nrt, ye shall siunrt tor ihii. [ Jiii/r.

Sir Juhn. Vnu sec, fnciid, I aui nut nia^tcr of
I my own bouse; therefore, to avoid nnv utien^i*
neas* go down the lone about a quarter of a railc,
and you'll <«c a cnblcr's cnttti^c; stay thfirc a
Itttk!, add I'll send my servant to conduct yon to
a tenant's Ikius^ where yoo'U be well cnCertaiit-
cd.

Doe. I thank you, sir ; I'ra your niobt huinlilo
servant. — But, a^ fur your Irni) thr-re, she ithnll
this nieht feel my rt^scntniciiL {Erit,

Sir John. Conic, mttduiu ; you and I tnatA liavc
some omffirencc together.

Lady. Yes, I will have n conference and a re<
formatioD* too, in this house, ur I'll turn It up-
ftide down — I will.

.AIR.. — CoHtenttd count ryj'armer.

Sir John. Grant nie, ye powrrs, but thisrequeM,
And lei who will the world t-tnitest;
Cum'ey her to sonii' dntani shore,
Whertr I may ne'er Im-IihIH her more:
Or let me to some cottik|;e fly,
In freedom's arms to live and die.

\EfeuNt.
SCENE III.— TTie CoWt's.

Nell, and the Doctor.
JfeU. Pray, sir, mend ytnir draught, if you
T^Uuae ; you arc very welcome, tir.

Due. Thank you heartily, Rood woman, and
to n-quitc viiur dvihty, 1*11 fril y-rti yt)Ur fortune.

yjitl. (>. prnv du, ^^u*; I never had my forfuno
told mc in uiv life.

Dni-. Let riie hrtiold iIht lines of your face.

iV<-//. I'm uinud, «ir, 'tis none uf tlie cleanest;
I huvc been ab.itit diity work all this day.

Dttc. Come, come, 'tis n good face ; be noi
Bslioiited of It; yuu shall shew it in greater places
suddenly.

yelf.'O dear sir, I shall be miehtily ashamed!
1 want ducity when I come bf-fure ^reat folks.

Dof. Vou must be co»ihdent, and fear no-
thina ; lliere is inudi hnppiiicw nttcuds you.

NrU. Oh luc ! thit is u rare man ! Heaven 1*
thanked !

J>n:. To inorniw, before sunrise, you shall be
L!>e tiappieat wuiuaii in thi& cntintry.

NfH. llow! hy to-morrow? alack-»-day • sir,
how can that he ?

Doc. No more shall you be troubled with a
suHt husband, that mils at, and slni|u ym.

JVr//. Liifl ! Imw runie he lo know that.' he
□lust be a ciiiij'irer ! Indeed my husband is some-
wiiat rugged, and in hi« rii|» will beat t>)e, hut
It is not murh, Hc*t« uu honi'si paiuvtnkinp man,
ajid I let him have lufc way. I'ray, sir, take dve
other cup uf ale.

Dor. I timnk you. — Relieve me, txwnorrow
vnu shall lie llic riche^t wutn.-iu in the hundred,
and ride ii) v<>ur own coacti.

jNV//, Ofuther! you jeer me.
Doc. By my nri, I do not. But mari my
wonln; bo cunGiknt, and bear all init, or wona
will follow.

NelL Never fear, sir, I warrant you -Q

fciuiiii ! A cnncli !

AIR. — Send home my tong-ttnyfit eyes.

My swelling heart now leaps for joy,
And riches nil my thouKlits einphiy;
No more »hall people <.']dl me Neil,
llrr ladyship ivdl du as well.
Decked in luv gtildni. nch array,
I'll in my cJntriot roll away,
.A'lil »liuic at rini;, at hall, aiul pint.

Enter JoDM>x.

Job. Where is tliis quean ? I lere. Nell ! What
a \nn, are y lu drunk «nh y<)ur lamh'*-wool t

Nell. O luisUmd ! herf.'* die rarest man — be
bus (old me ruy f«>rtune !

Joh, Has he hi ? and planted my fortune, too!
a tu<>ty pairuf liurns upon my IhhkI!— £h?— b
it ni»t so?

Doc. Thy wife is a virttwus woman, and tboa
wilt Ik.- happy.

Job. C'tuie onl, vou hnnC"flni!i ^' - -'-- tqq
chentinc himboo/tiu^ vitlain I ini>- "Id-

cr] hy sui'h roL^ut-it as voa aio f i. ■..,.. ....mi^

imd almanack -makers !

CorrEY,]

BRITISH DRAMA.

37

NtIL Priihec, peace, huaband ! we shall be
ricli, and harv a cuoch nf nur own.

Juk. A ooach ! a tiut, a wimfMiarrow, rou
jade ! — Bjp the mackio, kIh's drunk., htoodv drunk,
jaamt oonAmndedly dntak ! — Get voii to bed, yui<
Jtramprt. * [Beatt her.

Neii. O. mercy on us ! la tikis a tasic of iu,y
fpnd t'ortiinc f

Uoc, Yon had better doc hare uiacbed her,
jou Mirlr rogue.

M. Out of my bouse, you villain, or FU run
at nm\ up to the handle in your body !

Doc, f arrwell, you paltry alare !

Jot. <Jet out, you rogue ! [Esettnt.

£CBNE IV. — Changa to an open country.
Doctor.

Allt— m* ipinYi tong tn Macbeth.

My liltJe spirits now appear.
Nadir and Abi!>hu|; druw near.
The tJiDC 19 &hort, make no delay,
Then quidtly basic, and come away :
Nor moon, nor star* utTiird tliuir Itght,
Bui all is wrapt iu gloomy ui|i;lit :
Both mrn nnn Iteabts to rc«t incliuc,
And all ihuigft favour my dcMgti.

^urils. [Within.] Say, master, nlmt is to be

Doct. My strict rommand!^ be sure nttctid,
Fnr, err this night »hall have nn end,
You mubt this roblcr'n wifi* Imn^form,
And, to the knight's, tlic hkc pcrfumt :
With all your most sfwcitic clinnos,
t'oovcy rach wife la ditlcrpnt arms;
I^t tlie delusion be ku slroiig.
That uuoc may know the rii^ht from wrong.

Wifk' } '^'^ '^'" ^^ *'" ^*"'* '^^^ perfi>nu,
'"* I Iu UmiiUcr, ligUtuin^ mid a sumn.

[Thunder.

SC^ST^ v.— CAfflirgia to the eohler'i hanae. Job-
SOX uf aork. The bcit m riea:

Jot, Whai devil hR« been abroad tn-nie^it^ I
aner heard such clnps of ihuttdir ui my life. I
tiiiMi*ht my Intle huvrl wnuld hiive ttown away ;
bat now all is dciu' aii^in, aud a Hnc ^tnr-lii'lit
J it is. Ill **ttle myself to work. They
Wj mMcr'i thunder hnn;^ summer's wonder.

AIB. — Charming SaUy,

or all the trades from cast tn west,
fhm oobters, past i-nutriKlin^,

b Itltc io time to prine ihc best,
^Vhicfa every day i^ mending.

How great his praue who ran amend
TIk siials of all his nei);litHJur5,

Ntir i» unmindful of hi.s end,
Uut to liLs laiit Mill lalMHirs!

Latttf. Mrvday ! what impudent ballad-sincing
rogue is tliiLt, who dnren wakt: nic uul uf my
5kep' I'll have you 6cad, you niscnl !

Job. \^'ll3a ij pFis ! dues she talk in her steep?
or ii) she drunk, imll? [A'lit^i.

AIIl. — Nmp ponder aWj^ yt parcntt dear,
in Uatb, a waiiiim wife did dw«ll,

As Chancer he did write,
Who wamonly did *pend her time

Iu iimiiv u fuud deli^liL
M\ on a time M>rc Mck she was.

And she at lcui;tli did die.
And thri) liir muiI iit pHnidise

Did knuck niu^i lui^tmly.

Lady. Why, villain, riiM-al, wrrocch-ow] ! wh«
makc«t a wursc iiuii>e ilian ii d^i^; hun^ m rhe
pales, or a hog in u high wmd ; inhere are uXl
my servants? homebody come, and hum^innt; l!iis
roiiiKf. \KHOik$,

Jot>. Why, Kow BOW, you bra/cn queiui ! Yi)tt
must get drunk witli the otnjurer, mu>t you ? I'll
civG you iiHiiHY anotht-r time to apcnd in lainb>-
vtuol, you MUL'y jade, sliaii I ?

Lodif. MoiiMruus ! 1 can find no bell to ring.
Where arc my wrvantb ? I'hey shall tois hiio in
u hluukeu

Joti. Ay, thejftdf's asleep Mill; tlie ronjurer
tohl her »l>e iiliould keep her coach, and bhe ii
riruaiuiiig uf her equijia^e. [Sings,

I will cotne io, in spite, shu said,

Of nil ?uch churls as thee,
Thi)ti art the raiiM; of all uur pain,

Our grief and niiiicry.
Thou tirsi broke the romntandemeut,

hi honitur of thy wife :
When Aduni heard \h-t say these words,

He ran away for life.

Lady. Why, husband ! Sir John ! will you
suffer me lu be thus iu^ulted f

Joh. HtislMiiul!' Sir John ! what a-pox, has she
knizhied rue? And my name's i^eicel too! a good
jpst, fititli !

Lady. I la! he's^ime; he is not in the bod.
Ileavcci ! where am i? Foh ! what loathsome
smells are here? Canvas ^teets and a lilthv rag-
lied curtain ; a l->ea<l)y nij;, and n tir»ck-bc</. Am
1 awake? oris it all a dream ? What ro^iic is
rlittt ? Sirrali ! W here am 1 ? W ho hrou^^ht me
hitlier? What macitl arc you ?

Joh. Thi-t i!« amaxini; ! 1 never heard sittch word^
fnim her before. If 1 take iiiv strap to you. I'll
makejou know your hu^btuid. I'll teach yo(|
better maimers, you saucy dnib !

^

BRITISH DRAMA.

[COFPBT.

Ladt. Oh, astonishing itnpudcnce ! Yon my
liiishaiiH. sirrah P I'll have tou baniced, you ru^iie !
I'm a !»((>. \xx mc know who hu giicn aic u
»lec(iiiij'-«niii]^lil, oikI coiivcycct nic hiUicr, you
dtitv riulvt ?

JyA. A sleeping-draught ! yc-i, you drunVen
jodi.- ; you luiH a slecfm^-dmughi witJ>-a-|>ox \x%
^uu. What, bu Do[ your Iimb^wool done wurl-
inc yci ?

i^it/y. U'licpc am I ? Wliere has my iillttino»i»
hu>,lKii»l jiut me ? Lucy! Lctlice ! Where nrc my
queim» ?

Ji^. Ila, lia, ba ! what, does idie call her
ntaids, tiK) ? The cttryuror has m&dc her nuid as
well us dniiik.

htdy. Ik lalka of conjuror*; sure I am be-
witched. Hu ! what clottiM arc iK-rt; ? a litidsfv-
wimlscy Rriim, a ciUicn liood, a red l>a\4 petti-
coat! I am rcnio\<?d rrotn my uwn Ikxim- bv
wittlicrafl. Wlint must I do? W liatwiil lii.-»-(»mc
ui mti [Hornt Kind vithout.

Jol/. Iliirk ! the huiKera and thv mcrrv \v>nn
■re abroad. Why Nell, you lazy j»dc, 'tf-* brtnk
of duy ! u* wurk, tii work ! cumc nitd t^piii, ynu
dmJi, ur I'll tan ymir hide lor you ! Wliiil-o-pot,
must I be nl work two jioun before you iu a
nioruiti^?

Ljdy. Why, sirmh, thou imfmdeut vilUiin, dosi
th<iu not know me< you rogue i

Job. Know you I yei^ [ know you wril cnoiiEh.
and I'll make yuu Cuuw ui: before 1 have dune
with you,

Ladif. i am sir John Luvcrule s lady ; how
came I here?

Jub. bir John Loverule'jt lady ! nn, Nell ; not
quite »t bitd. neither; that diuiitied stiuv;y, fana-
tic whuH', |»lagucs every onv tlial cunies iwor her ;
ihc whole («unlry ctir»cs her.

Ladff. S»y, tlteu, I'M Itold no longer; yoa rociie !

von iiiMilcnivillum I 111 tesich you better nuinner^

[i'fingt tfi< UJttaff", and other thing*, at him.

Jet. This i» more ilian rver 1 saw by bcr ; I
never Imd nn ill word fmin (wrr bctorr. Corner
6tnifH I'll try your mettle; I'll w)ber you, I i
rant yon, nurnn. [lit. itrap§ hrr, ihr fiir* at i

ijdy. Ill pull your tlinMit out: I'll icarj
vour eyes! I am a lady, ijrrab. O tnurdiTl
miinWr! Sir .lolui Luvende will hang yuu for
thti : rnurdL-r * murder!

J^dt. Cuine, bu^ny, leave fooJilHt, and come to
your spliuiiiig, orcls^- HI lamb you; you ne'er wiw
iu binibcd Muce tou kctc an inch lone, Tnke it
up, voujade. [.^ /linfis it don-n, he %lrap» her.

J^tUf. Hold, hold! I'll do uuy thiui^

Joi>. Oh ! I thought I diould bring you to your^
self otmiii.

Lady. What shall I do? I can't spin. [Jmde.

Jul: I'll into my stall ; 'ti» brond day, now.

[||'ur/.-j and MiRp.

AlU.— Tiwr, let laprtpart.

Let inalten) uf statu

DU(|ulci tlie great.
The cobler liiu nuui^hl to perplex kim;

Iln<* n<ni>;lil but hi» wife

To rulilc his life.
And her he ctn strap if she va bim.

He's out of the power

Of fnrumc, that nborc,
SincR low us citn be shr lia& titnist him;

From dooM he's bccure.

For btinfj so [mor,
Tlicre's nooc to be TouikI that will tnt»t him.

Iltydny, I think the jade'k brain a turitrd ! Wba^
have you lor;itit to spin, hum?

Latiji. But I havi; nut fur^nt to run. [11 c^Ok
try my feel ; 1 iJinll tiud ^outebodv in the tuwa,
sun', tlint will liuaitur nie. (Sit runt imt.

Jtfi. Wluit, does she run for it? I'll after licr.

[ IU ruiu Mf'

ACT U.

SCENE L — changes la Sib Jook's Amur.

Nell h beA

Xfll. What pleasant dreains I Have bad to-
Itiirlit I Mrthnut;ht I was in |mr»diM-, upon n )n»I
ot violets and ruses, and the sweetest hu^UunI
by my side ! Ha ! bless nie, where am I now i
Wliat sweets are these? No garden in llie spring
cau equal tlicni : Am 1 on a bed f The sl>cet« are
sarsenet sure ! no linen eter wa>i so fine. What
& gay, kilketi robe Iwve I i:ot? (.) Heaven! I
dream ! Vet, if tliis be a dream, 1 would not wish
ti> wake nenin. .Sure, I died last night, and went
to Heaven, luid tliia i» it.

Enter LircT.
iMiy. Kon must I awake an ainriu, tlitil will
^H lie etill again till midnight^ at soonest ; the

first greeting, T suppose, will be jadt:, 6r nbot«-
Madam ! matUin f

AV//. Oeeinini! who'i this? WlmC dott ay*
swccthctirl f

L*rv. .Sweciheart! Ob lutl, sw wl heart ! iIjo
lii:<t iiaiiics 1 liQve Imd Uiese three inoiiihs frtHQ

hrr, hove bceu slut, or wlmre. Wbnl goMI

and rtttOes will ynur ladyship wear lo-4laf ?

NfU. Wlinl docs stie mean? Iiulv»tiip ! gowtil
and rudlcs ! Sure 1 am uwoke : Uh ! 1 rcueiDt)cr
the cimiiini' m»u now.

iMiy. Did vour ladyship speak ?

AV/?. Ay, c'bild; I'll wear Uih some I did y»*
terday.

Liwv- Mercy upon mc! — Child I — Here's a
miracle I

£i»/fr L&mf«.

i>r. !» my liuJY awake? Unvc you had htr
shoe or bcr slipper Hung at your bead yet ?

GoprftY.^

BRITISH DRAMA.

^'

Im^ Ob no, Fm nvctjored ; sbc's lo the kiod-
faiMDoiir .' ro lu ilic b«d, axuJ speak to her ;

w m vnar dine.

£r'- \i«*'> my tiiiir * what, to have uioUier
\ tooth twat uiit !-^ — Madam !

S'fiJ. What dfwt sat, iny dear? O futUer !

\ «iMt woald alie havf f

Let. What vrurk will jour litdv^iip ptcasc to
' hare d'Kke uvHajr ? Shnll I work j>liiii»-wurk, or
£ti lA my ftUtchins '

ATW/.'Work, chdd! *tM holiday; no work lo-
Iday.

Let. Ob merey ! am T, or «he auake ? nr du
«c built dmuo ? HcrL*** a hlc»Acd rhaiipc ?

tur^. U it cuntutuck, ne ihall be a happy fa-

Ist. Vour ladyship's i-liocolale i* ri-arlT.
^iK Mercy tin mc ! *vli«l'> lliat? Scwnc gnr-
[ I tupjKMc' [Jhc^.] — Put it oa UiCQ, sweti-

Let. PuE it OD, uudam! I Ivave cakea it ofT;
'trt trady to ttrink.

A'li/. I meat), put it by; I daa'i care for drink-

Enter Cook.

C^k. Sow pi I like a bear to the ^ttake, to
Ldow her acurry ladyship's c<Muni«uds olj<>ut din-
Mr. Horn twaay ri-niDv itnmet inuM: I he rnElcil.

Lei, Ofi, Jolin C'tKfk ! ynu'U be mil »( yuur
*"it9 to And my lady tn m ^vet t ;i leiupcr.

Cook. Wliiit a devil! arc (hi-y nil ntnd ?

i^M^. Madajii> IvLTc'i the cuuk come Kboiil
ifaarr.

XirA Oh ! thcn's a tine cook ! lie lni)k» like
OH of your |!i>nilet<dkv [Autit.] — Indeed, lioit«*>t
■un* Pm very hunt'ry iiuw; prny f.el lu*: a rusher
u^ the mut^ ft piece of unc niilk cliee«ej and
V«e white bread.

Caok. Hey ! wliaiV to d<i here i my lif>iid lurus
nmd. llimt^t ni!in ! 1 hmkcd tor rn^iie or nis-
cii, Nt Ictot. afte'-i stntnucly rhanccd m Imt diet,
ki»rllA9 l»er humour, (jtiiic] — I'm atVaid, nm-
'■I ttaruit will sit very hcuvy on vour
..ich, m a n)n^nin;^ If you pleaw,
^ ynu up (I n hiu- IrirHSCc iif rhit-k-
^tt- <uiid-itii ; or «hiil dues ywir lody-

•kij' - veal swetibrtyd?

^ iia[ VfNi will, uikhI cook.

I ■ ■ I cuuk! guod took! Ah! 'tis a

■rantely!

Kitter Bu.lUr.

! kin «#, C.'ht[», I am oiil of my wita; We
rW liiiidea. s<»t >ri-,r ludv !
t Vou shiiiiiiiiMv t'i-^tic, I think you are out
wita* all ut' ye ; the maidii look merrilvt

I.... ii,.^\t}^ butU-r, nuutam, lo know your

^Ji-ay Mj- Bnili-r! lei mc linvc aomc
>Ml-bctt when my birakfiut Loiuea ia

Rut. Mr Butler! Mr Butler! I shall be tnmed
into stone with amnwmciitl [.jUiJf.]— Would not
ynur Indyihip rather have a glass ot* Frouiima^
or Lacryiiie?

AV//. O dear ! what hard inniea an: dicre !
hill I must not brtruy mysdf. \Aiide.'\ — Well,
nhiUi yuu ptca&e, Mr Butler.

Enter Coachman.

But. Co, gel vcu in, and be rejoiced as I am.

Coach, rtie cook has been roakinE; bis game I
know itot how long. Wliai, do you bnnter, luo?

Lutif. Mndnm, the coarhmnn.

Coiuh. I come to know il' vour ladysJup goci
out to-day, and which you'll hnve, the coacli or
clmriuC

Ml, Ciood tack-a-day ! 1*1) ride in the coad),
il' you please.

Coach. The sky will fell, tluit** certain. [ lleit.

Ar//. I can hnrdiv diink I am awukc yc(. IIov
nell picftbed thev aJl seotn to wait upon mc ! O
notiihip cunninji; man ! My lund turns round I I
am cjuite giddy ivith my own liappiucss.

AIK.— ITAo/ though lama cotmtry last.

Thou|>h late I was a cobler'a wife,

In oottnge niu^t ubscurc-a.
In plaia stuff-gown, mid >li(>n-carcd coif|

Hard labour did ciidurc-a:

The scene is dianged, Vm altered quitCj

Anil fnim (loor huiublc Ncll-a.
I'll iL-nni to danct', to rend, and Miitc,

And from all bear the bell-a. [Exit.

Enttr Sir John, meeting his Hrrantu

But. Oh, sir ! l»ero's the mrest news !

Lufi/. 1'bcre never wna the tike, sir ! you'll be
ovcrroycti and amazed.

Sir 'John. What, are tp mad ? What's tim roatr
icr witli yc? Iluw now ! Ivcre'a a new face iu my
tmnily; wtml'-s lU? niciuiiiit' of all this?

Hut. Oh, sir! tliL- faintly 's turned upside duwiL
V\'i- ikrv- almost distraclcd : tiie happiest people !

J.uctf. Ay, my hidv, Mr, my lady.

Sir John. What. \s \hc dead?

Bui. Dead ! llcavtn forbid ! Ol she*a thebett
womun, the HWfrlcst lady !

Sir Mn. Thv* in nttontshtne ! T mu^t go and
iiirpiire into thin wonder. If this he true, I »iia*.t
rejiiice tndee<l.

But. ''t'is true, sir, upon my houour. Long
live 3tr John and my lady ! huzza !

Enter NcLL.

Nvii. 1 well remenilKr ihr cuiming inao warn-
ed ine tn litar all out with confidence, or worse,
Ut said, would t'nllow. I am n^nmcd, and know
iH>t nhnt tn do with all this ct:remuny: I am
aiuuicd, uod out of my scusei. I looked ia iho

40

BRITISH DRAMA.

[COPFEV.

aod SAW a (^y line thui<> 1 kiww ddI; mc-

OURhi iiiv fnce Mai not i>i all like ilint 1 )iav-e

' Been III Ufjiiie. ill II meve of l<«i>kiiiu-gln»^ tutviiFcI

uiMtri till* i-iip-biHinl. Hut grfnt ladies, t]w\ say,

basv Anncni\fv:}»sie*f ttiiil ^ctv titctn ttir unlike

rthcin^rlves whilst po-ir folkk gU»C9 represent

Ibcu e'en ju»t wi tliey arc.

AIK ~IWi* f wtu a i2vme i^ honour.
Fine ladies, with an artful i^ncc,

Dist^uise each native fcuture ;
Vi'hil<>t flattcriiu; KlA^SfA shew the fac^

At) tuiuk' bv an, not natui-c ;
But WK pour folks in hairie-«j>un grey,

Bv (jatcli Qor washes tainted,
I/n)k t'resli and sweeter far than they,

'['hat ttill arv finely piuntcd.

Xvcy. O nwdaiu ! here's my master just re-
tumtafroiu hunting.

Enter Si a Jobs.

NeU. O geuiiui ! this hue ((entlenian my hus-
Ixuid !

Sir John. My dear, I am OTcrjoyed to sec my
family thua Irunspurtcd with cx»ta»y which you
Occasiuncd.

NcU. Sir, I shall always be proud to do every
ihin^, that riuiy give yuu dclit:ht| ur yuur famiiy
aalisfuciinn.

Sir John. Br Heaven, \ am charmed ! dear
creature, if ihnu amiitiue>i tlin*, I had rather
eiijny ttiee ihan the Indies. But cnii thti be mi f
May I bclierr my m:il-«« f

fielt. All iloa'a fpvii abuve can witncw for n»c,
I ain in oarue^t. [KnrtU.

Sif J'jfiH. lii^> tnv dearest ! Now am I Imppy

indeed Where are inv friend*, inv senaots?

call ihctii all, and let tlnin be witDc«ii«ii of mv
happint'!». [AIj-i/.

Ar//. O rare, sweet man! he smetb all uter
like a nnt^euy. Lk-avvn preserve uiy mts \

AIH— "/'(laJ trithin afurhn^, i(C.

Ntit. O channini: tiimiinc nuui ! tliuu b»»t been
Tiondnms kind.
And all diTsiiidto wurds do now prove
tnir, I find ;
Ten thi<u<)UiKi tfvnN|Nirti wvt.
To cniwn m« htippy Uaio,
Thu4 kiiised, and presaed,
And duubly tlcMtnl
fn alt thit pomp and >tiite :
Ne* •cenes of joy arise,
Whisfa fiii tttc with vurpnsc;
lUy r«>cV, and rtx-l,
Aud tpiuninir-wheel.
Anil liuibaud 1 despise;
Then .liihsoii, mm ailicu*
Thx tvblii))!: siil) pursue,
For bcnce 1 will uut, caniiul, no, nor must not,
buckle 10. [Ezit.

SCENE n.— JOBSOX'S ftoitM.

Enter Lady.
LaJif. Was ever lady yet so miserable ? I can't
mnlcc one iwiul in the villaj^e ai^knowledge mc:
tliry !>iirc uxc nil of the coQspiraor. Thii wicked
hu&bund of mine bu laid a devifiih plot afpiiDti
me. I must at prcwnl submit, that I mny here-
after have an oppiirttniily o( esrcutinK my de*
<>ign. licrc comes Uic roeuc; I'll Invc buu
strangled; but now I must yield.

£ii/er JoBSUM.

Job. Come on, Nell ; art thoa come to thvMlf
yet f

Ltuly, Yes I thank you, I wonder wliat I ailed;
thl& cuoDiitt! man has put powder in my dnok,
muM cenainlv.

Job. Powder! the brewer put good store nf
powder of malt in it, that's all. Powder, quotK
fthe ! ha, ho. Im !

iMtlt/. I ne\'<:r was so all the days of my lite.

Jok. Was to ! no, nor 1 hope ne'er will be lo
again, lo ]mt me to the trouble of strapping yoo
»» dc%iliahly.

Xotf V ^'" h^^ ^>"1 "gilt liand cut off for that,
rogue. [Atuie.]^Yoit was unmerciful to bruise
nie so.

Job. Well, I'm going to sir John Loverutc's;
all his tenants ate invited; there's to be rare
fca»tinK and rcvellii^ and opeu house kept I'ur
tiirrt' inoiitlii,

Ijiitv. Husband, nlwti't I (ro wiih you 7

Jiifi. \\ hat the devil oils thee now f Did I not
tell thee but yesierday, I would strap tbee fur
desiring to ^tj, and art tliou at it a^pun, with a

Lady. What does the villain mean by tftrnp-
ping, luid vealenlny?

joi>. why, I have been married but mx werks
and you ]vn% to muke me a cuckold already.
Stay ai home, and be hanged I there's cood end
pye in llic cuphuard; but I'll trust tlux no murv
will) Mrun}^^■cr, hussy. [Fjtt.

LfOfdif. Well, ril not be Isng after yuu ; me I
!^all pjl Mime of my own family (o know me;
tliey caift be all in tliis wicked plot. [£nf.

SCENE HI.— Si a John's.
Sir Jobn and companjf ettter,

DUETT.

Sir Juhn. Wns ever man poMCSt of

S«» Rwret, MJ kind n wife !
Dear sir, you nuike me proud :
Re vou but kind,
And vou ftluill find
Alt the cnod I ran l»oa«t of
Sluill etui hut wjih ray hfc^
Cive me thy li[»;
Ftnt let me, dvar sir, n'ip« theaj

SdL

Sir John,

Xdi.

CorrtT.l

BRITISH DRAMA.

41

i

Was ever lo ftweet a wife !

[Kiuing her.
■Thank you, dear sir !
I vfiw and [initest,
I ne'er was so kissed ;
A|^fit sir!
Sir JoktL. AgsiD, mwl af;ain, mv dearest !
O maj it last far life !
What joj thus to enfuld thcc !
What pleasure to buhuld tliee I
IndiiM-d iiunii) to Via !
Sir John, flow nivisbiiig the bliss !
h'cU. I little thou^it this morniii);,

Twoutd CTcr cotnc to this.

[Ofl Capo.

EnUr Lady.

Z^j/. IlcreV a fine mut and rioting I You, ur-
nil, butler, VQQ rogue !

But. Why, how now ! Who arc you ?

L«(/y. Imimdenc vnrlet ! DiiiVt you know your

bml. Lady ! Uvre, tura this mad woman out
of dcKm !

i«i^. You rascal ! lakr that, sirmh !

[Fiingi 9 gltiu at him.

fW. Hare a care, hu^sy ! tticre's u ,;oDd pump
wttbouc; we ^all cool your conra^ fur you.

Lsi/y. YuUf l-ucy, late you furi^cc roc too, you

Lucy. Fonrot you, womnii ! Why. I never re-
ncmberad yuu : I never uw vou before id mv

LmbfM Ob, the wicked ^ut ! I'll give ynu cause
lo roDcmbcr me, I m ill, huuy.

[PulU ktr heaiiilmhi off".

Lita^ Morder ! Murd<rr ! Help !

Sir Jokn, How iiuw ! What iipmar*A tlii» i

l^dm. YoUfLettJce, you slut! Won't you know
■Mutherf

[Striket her.

Ut. Ilelp,help!

Sir Jokm. What's to da there ?

Bat. Whr, *)r. hcreV a inadwoman calls her-
■If my lady, and is beating and cuffing us all
raund.

Sir Joka. f To LiDV-]— Thou my wife! pnor
rrouure ! I pity thee ! I never saw ilicc before.

Ijmitf. Then It is in rain to expert rcdro^s Iruin
liter, thau wtrLed contrtTCr of ail uiy nii^ry.

HflL Huw am I amazed \ Can that be I, tlicm'
■■ ny clothes, that have made all this disturbance r
And ret I am here, to my thinking, m iIicm: hnc
Aflwa How rail this bi- ^ 1 ani so confounded
Md aflniihted* tluit I begin to msh I was nith
Zckd Jobson again.

Li^. To whom slinll I apply myself, or nhi-
liitT on ] By? Ilravcn ! What do I wt ! Is not
Aat I, yonder, in my cuMn atHl petticoat I wore
irtaerdayf Uow can it be! I cannot be in two

ftKaatoQoe.

VouIU.

! Sir /((Am. Poor wretch ! She's itark mad !

Lodtf. What, in the devil's name, was I here
before I came? Let me look in tlic i;l»ss. Oh
Heavens! I nma«lonishcdj Idon't know myself!
If tbs be I that Uk glau s)iews mc, I ne^er saw
myself before.

.Sir Ju/in. What incuherenl madness is this !

Enicr SuKiov.

Ltuli/. Tlicrc, that's the devil in mj likeness,
n-ho hiu robbed mc of my oountenance. Is ha
here, too ?

Job. Ay, hussy; and here's my stcap^ yoa
qucnn.

NeU. O dear ! I'm afraid my husband nili beat
me, that am on t'otln-r iiidc the room, there.

Joii, 1 liupe your lioiiouni will pardun Uer; she
was drinking with n conjurer last iiiglit, and has
been mad ever Nitce, and calls herself my lady
l^ierulc.

Sir JohH. Poor woroin ! uke care of her ; do
not hurt hrr, ^lic mav be cured of this.

Job. Yes, find please yuur wunhip, you shall
sttc me cure lier })rescntly. Ilu^y, do vou sec
lhis|

JVeW. O ! pray, Zckcl, di»n*t beat me.

StrJvtiM. What says tny lo\e f Does site infect
thee with mmlncss, tooF

NtlL I am not wcU; pray lead mc io.

[Errnnt Nell and maid.

Jo6. I hescech your wornlup don't take it ill of
me ; she shall never trouble you more.

Sir Jofin. Take Iter home, nud use Iter kindly.

Luijf. What will become of me ?

[Exeunt JoDSOK and Ladit.

Entcrfootman.

Foot. Sir, tlic doctor, who called here lost
iii^hi, desires yuu will give him leave to speak a
t^ord or two with you, upon very camest busi-
ness.

^r John. What can this mean ? Bring him in.

Enter DocTOB.

Dof. Lo ! on my knees, sir, I bof; fQni;ivcmicss
for what I have douc, and put my Life into your
hands.

Sir Join. What mean you 1

Doc. I hove eicrcised my luagi'* art upon your
lady; I know you have too miLcli honour to take
away my life, since I might linvc slU concealed
it, had I pleased. ^

Sir John. You hare now brouj^t me to a
glimpse of misery too great lo bear. Is all my
hnppincas thou tunied into a vision only ?

JJoc. Sir, I beg you, fear not ; if any harm
comes of it, I freely give ynu lean- to hang me.

Sir John. Inform mc what vou liave done,

Doc. I hive transformed your lady's face so,

4t

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Comr

l.|lutt »)ie Kcffms ifie coblet'v wif«, ami have
Ldtarraed licr tunc inUi tltc likeness of ni_Y ladv*& ;

il IbM niche, wht-D tlit; stunii uote, mjr sfitiu

DvcTi^l thrm lo each Other's bed.

Sir Jtihn. Ub, vrrvtcti ! tliou hn^t iittdoiiu tac !
I am falico from the hei^t uf all my litipes and
iiiubt blill be curst witli a tempebtuuu» wife ; a
furv whum 1 ii(-%er kiirw qiiivi uikc I had her.

x)m*. It' tlut be all, I can conDime the chnrni
for l-oih thrir lives.

Sir Jithn, JjL't tlic rrent be what it v^'ill. IMl
L ham: jrou if 50U do 001 end the cimnu this in-
' UUnU

Dt>r. I will tin's nutiute, »r; and, perhaps,
yoiiM trnd it the luclctf »t of yout life ; 1 can a»-
sare ytiu. yotir lady will ptxnc the better for it.

kir fvhit. Hiild; ihcttr's one niatcriiii circuiu-
staiue i'rt itDOVr.

Jioc. Ycmr plcaiore, sir 1

&r Jvhn, fVf^np Uiu coblcr has — ^vou under-
•buid me '

Dt/c. I tlo mstire you, no; for ere she was
cnii\t:ycd m hi» lied, the cubler wa» ^ot up to
work, and he h.u» done nought but b«at her ever
since. And vuu arc hka t» reap the fruits nf his
labour, livll be \|ithyou in a minute; here he
comes.

Enter Johiov.

Sir Jehn. So, Jobson, h here's jour wife f
.Mk ,\ml plca»e Tonr U'orsliip, she's here at
the door, btit. inJcca, 1 thought I hoti lost her
^ust no\> ; fur u» she came into thr bnll, khe fell
]mo Hjcb a swoon, that X tbnue,ht »hc- would ui-
rcr ctHiip out (m'l iRain; but a tweak or two bv
Uie iHi»e, Rud holi u 1I0XCI) snaps, did tiit- busi-
ness at Iii»t Ucre, tvherc arc you, housewife f

Bater Ladt.

Bnt [Hoitis up the eandle, but leli it fall
■Aai ht MYs Arr.]— C> heaven and earth ! U this
my lady ?

Jtth. ^\^wl does he say } My wife chnngcd to
my lady !

Cf^k. Ay ; I thought the other was too good
for tjur l;idy.

Iflrfv. ['/i> Sia Jotiji.}— Sir, you arc the per-
son I Kave most oficndea, and here I mnfew 1
have 1»fren tb« worjt of wvc» in every thii-s, bat
4h»t 1 iilwTiys kfpt tnrM:tr chaste. If vou can
voLi-lisalV liner more to take oic to yuur btnom,
the remainder of my dnyi sball Joyfully be epciit
ill duty, and ubseivanre of your will,

Sir John. QjM, madam ; I dv forgive you ; and
if yuu are Mi^rc in wliat yuu say, you'll inii!.e
me huppHT than all the rnjnynicnls in the wi^rld,
witl»Hii you, could do.

JoIl Vb hat a pot ! Am I to lose my wife tinu f

Enter hviy end hwricz,

? strangest accident has )mp>

pened ! it ha>t amazed in; iity lady wu in ao great
a swoon, we tJ)ou)j;ht :>hc hut) been dead.

Lit. Aud fvhcn site came to bencif, she proved
niiiillicr ivonuui.

M. Iln, ha, tia : A bull, n bull !

iMCtf. She IS so changed, [ knew her not; I
iK'v^T saw ber face before : U lud ! Is this mv
lad* ?

ixt. We shall be mauled afBtn.

iMcy. I tliooght uur liappiness was too |;nal
to last.

Ladif. Fenr not, mv servants. It shall hereaf"
ter be my endeavour lu niiike yon liappy.

Sir J'jhn. VcrMvcre in this resoluboo, and we
shall be bUst indeed, for life,

Bn/crNELL.

xW//. My bend turns round; I must go home.
O Zekcl ! Arc you there !

Job. O liid ! Is chat fine lady my vrife? Eg^d,
I'm afraid lo cnnte near hrr. What can be the
iueanii\u uf thu f

Sir John. Tlii« is a happy chanL'c, and 111
have u celebrated with all toe joy I proclaimed
fur my late ^b(>^t-llvcd Titioit.

lati}/. To me, 'tis the happiest day 1 crei
knew. '

.Sir JuAf'. Here, .Tnbsrm, take thy fine wife.

Joh. But one word, sir. Did not your worship
make a buck of mc, under the ros*^ f

Sir John. No, upon my honour, nor ever kis-
sed htrr lips till 1 came fnini hnntini; ; bnt sjnrc
she has bceu n means of brinj;inc about tliUluip-
py clianpc, I'll give thee five hundred poundi
nornt: with her ; g<i, buy a stuck uf leailier.

Ju&. Brave huvs ! 1 m n prince, tiie prince of
coblers. Come hither and ki»s mc, Nell ; I'll
never slr:ip lliue iilori-.

\r//. Indeed, Zckcl, I hiivc been tn sncti a
dream, lliat I'm quite w<-ary of it.— [Ti? Joasoy.]
•— Forsooth, niathm, will yoit please to take yoor
clothes, aud let tuc have mine a^ain i

[!/bLAPT Lovcauir.

Job. Hold your tongue, you fool; theyll serra
you to go to chiirdi. V^ude.

IahIv. No, thou shalt keep them, nod I U piv
serve triinc :is n-liqii*^

JoL And can your ladysliip fot^ve roy stnip>
ping your Ifjouursu very much?

Livlif. M.ist freely. Tlie joy of this bleiKi|
cfaurige sets ull things richl again.

Sir John, l^t us foqjet every ihiii^ that is
piut. mid think of nothing uiiw but joy and pk^

AIR^— ^^ itiyi, yp gowe f

Lndy. Let every face wi|h smiles appeo/,
C« joy in errry biw»^ ;
Since fmin a htc of pam and car^
'" toow are truly bhsL

COPFBT.]

BRtTISM DRAMA.

45

Sir Jokn. Bbj no rentembrance of |Mut time
Oor prewnt pleasares soil ;
Be oonght but mirth and jor our crime^
Aud sporting; all our toil.

Jok I bope jovHl gire oke leave to speak,

If I may be so bold ;
There's nought but the devil, and this good

strap,
Could ever tame a scold.

[Exeunt.

THE

BEGGAR'S OPERA.

BT

GAY.

DRAMATIS PERSONJE.

MEN.

Peachdu, a resetter qfttoUn goodM.

Lock IT, a jailor.

Macreath, captain (ff the gang.

Filch,

Jeuuy Twitcheb,

Crook-fimoeheo Jack,

Wat Dreary, ,

Robin op Bagshot, >highaaymen.-

NiHMiNG Ned,

Harry Paddingtow,

Mat of the hint,

Bew Bodok,

WOMEN.

Mrs Peachuh, mife to Peachuv.

Polly PeacAuu, daughter topRkCUVMt^Md at-'

tacked to Macheatr.
Lucy Lockit, daughter to Lockzt, and mttackU

to Macheath.
Diana Trapes,
Mrs Coaxer,
Dolly Trull,
Mrs Vixen,
Betty Doxet,
Jenny Diver,
MbsSlahmekin,
Suket Tawdry,
Molly Brazen,

-voiiKii qfihc <ewih

Scene — London.

ACT L

SCENE I.— pEACBUu's house.

Peachuu sitting at a tiU)le, with a large book of
* account I before him.

AiR<— ^n old woman clothed in gray,

Throvoh all t^ emplovments of life,

Each neighbooi^buses his brother,

Whure and rogue they call husbaod and wife;

All professions berr^ue one another :

The priest calls the lawyer a cheat,

The lawyer beknaves the divine,

And the statesman, because he's so great,

Thinks bis trade as honest as mine.

A Uwyei^s is an honest employment; so is mine v
like me, too, he acts in a double capacity, both
against rcwues and for them ; for 'tis but fittiif
trutt we should protect and encourage cbean^
since we live by toem.

Enter Filcb*

Filch. Sir, Black Moll hath sent word her trill
coraes on in Uie afternoon ; and she hopes yoo
will order matters so as to bring her off.

Peach. Why, she may plead Inr belly at wont;
to my knowledge, she hath taken care of that se*
curity : but, as the wench is very active and in-
dustrious, yoa may satisfy her, that I'll soften die
evidence.

Gay.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

45

Fileh. Toin Gaeg, sir, ii founil guilu.

Frach. A Inzv d^ ! when I took liim the time
brfnrc, 1 told nitn what Kl- would come tii if he
did not iDctMj hi& hand — Thi» ifl death, Hithout
reprie**. I may vtniurc to boob him [H'nVr*.]:
for Tom C*ff, (ortj pounds. Let Betty Sly know,
chat I'il save her from trftiisportation'; lor 1 can
get more by her »tny)ng in £»f;laud.

fitch. Bclty luUtt brought mnrc i^nods into our
lock this jtMTt than any fire of tlw gatig ; mid, iu
truth, 'lis pity to low so gpud a customer.

Pem-M, If none of tlic gang take* her ofT. she
may, in the oimroan coiidip of buaioets, hvc n
twclTFinoaih loDgET. I love to let women 'scape.
A (ood sportsman always lct» the hen-partridges
By, because the breed of the game depends ii|io»
tnem. Beudr\ hcrv' the law alluna u^ no re-
ward. There is ixithini; to be gut by the death
of woinea— except our wives.

FikK Without dispute she is a 6ne woman !
'twas to ber I was obJii^d for my rducation. Tu
«ay a bold word, ihc butli truinpd up more
young fellows to the businctf than llie goming-
tafalc

PPmcA. Truly, Filch, thy obscr^ntion is riglit.
paod the sur^oiis, are more bchuldcn to wo-
ta thai) all the profcsions bcj»ulc9.

AUL — The boaay grr^cyd morn, ifc

FJdL *Tis womau tlint iieducts all mankind ;
By her we 6rei were taught the whcedlinc arts;
Her »erv cyej can clit-at : nhen mail stie's kind,
SIk trirks ua uf uiir muner, with our hturls !
For her, like wolre«, by night we roam for prcy^
And prBCtise cv'ry fraud to bribe her charms;
Fvr buity of loie, like l.w, ure won by pay,
And beauty must be fcc'd into our arm).

Prari. But make haste to Ncw^tc, boyi and
let my I'rimds iuow what I inteud : fur X luvc tu
tDake them easy one way or other.

Fikk. When a etnilemun is Inttz kept in aus-
peiue, penitence may break hi* tftirit ever nflcr.
fic«dc«, certainty ^ves a man a Rood air upon his
trial, anil mnLrt him rihk aimtlinr withoiii feiir
or temple^ Hut 111 away ; fur 'tis a nlcu^ure to
W tba ucs9en|ter of comfurt to friends in nlHic-
tioK. [K,il.

Piimek. But it u now high umc to Io<4l aljuut
Be fof a decent e^ecyiioo against next scsM<irt\
I lute a luy rotfuu, by whom one can get nolliing
tiJi lie i« hanjEccL A register uf the gang. I Head-
ing.] Ci<w)k-li leered Jack, a yenr and a naif in
the wrticc : let me ti-e how much tin-- stock owes
Is fats industry; ooc, two, three, four, tire ^uld
•atcfaes nod seven silrcr ones. A mif:hty clean-
handed fellow ! Sixteen ^nutV-l'Oxc!', tivc of ihcm
sf HIM fold ; six dtf/cn of bund kerchiefs, four si\-
«cr>luUed awords, lialf a dozen of shifts, three
te-pcnwi^ mad a piece iifbrmul cloth. Consi-
iamg than arc oiuy fruits of bis leisure hours,

I dm/t knuw a prettier fellow ; fur no man alive
Imth a more cngaeing presence of mind upon the
ro;iii. Wat Di-eary, alin* Brown Will; an irre-
gular do« ! who liutli all uiidL-rhaiid way of dis*
posing of his goods. I'll try him only for a ses-
sions iir two hmgrr njion hi« pKhl U-havi'Hir.
biarry I'adduiuton — a poor petty- larceny nscal,
without the least genius ! thnt fellow, though ho
were- lo live llicw six months will never ctiine to
the gallowfl wild any credit! Slippii-y Vani ; he
goes olf the next MiMions; fur the villani hath tlie
impudence to have vicwj' of toliowing his trade
as a tailor, wliidi be calls an honeM emplovinent.
Mat uf the Mint, liited nut above a mimOi tif.it;
a promisini; sturdy frilow, aud diligent in his
way! somcwbut ri>a hold arul hnaty, and may
rai^e gno<t contributions on tlie public, if he does
not cut himst-'lf short by inunJcr. Turn Tipple;
a guzilitt^, srfukiiii^sot, who isolwny* toi) drunk to
KtamI Itiiosolf, or to make others stand ! A cart
is nbsulutely necessary fur him. lU>lriii of Ba^
shot, uLids Gordon, uliaa BluQTBub, alias Car^
buncle, alias Bob Booty—

EnUr Mas pEAcauv.

ilfrs Pcftch. What of BnK Btvity, husband ? I
hope nothing; bad bath bctidcd him? You kimw,
my doar, he's a favourite Lutitoriier of mioe ;
'twas he maile me a present of ihiit rJiiR.

Pench. I have set his name down in the black-
list; thitt's alt, my dear ! he spends his life among
women, and, a!> soun an his money in ffme, (me
or otli(;r of till! iHdies will banc tiiin for the re-
ward ; and there's forty pounds lost to us for
over!

Mn Peack. Yon know, tay dear, I neier
meddle in matters of death ; I always leave those
atr^irs to you. Women, indeed, arc bitter bnd
judges in these cases: for Ihcy arc su purrial tu
the brave, that ttioy think every man hnndsoma
who is going to the camp or the gallunt.

AIR.— CoW end r<rir, 4'.

If any wench Venus's girdle wear,

Thijugti slie be never so ugly,

Ijlies and roses will i^uirkly appear.

Ana her face look wondrous saiuggty.

ik-ucath the left car, so fit but n cord,

(A rope s<» charming a zone is !}

The youth, in his cart, bnth Uic air of a lord,

And wo cry, Tliero dic-s an Adonis !

Hut really, hu*iband, you should not he too hard-
hearted; foe you never had a liucr, braver Bet uf
ii>crv, than at prevjit. Wc ha^e not had a mur-
der among them all lliesc seven moiitlis; luid, tru-
ly, my dcir, that Is a {creBt ble^smt;.

Peach. What u dickens is Ibe woman always
a whimpering about muntcr fur * No gentleman
is ever look«l upoa the worso for killing a man

i

46

BRITISH DEAMA.

[Gay.

in liis onrn defence ; and, if btniiKss cannot be
carried on without it, what would jou have a
g^tleman do i

Jtfrj Peufk. If I am in the viron^ my dear,
you muM excuse mc ; for nubodr can help the
frailty of an over «mipuloii» coii^icnce.

Peach, Muntcr is hk fa*.hionablc a crime as a
maa can be etliicy of. llmv many Hnr i;riitlcmen
bare we in Newgate cvcrv year, purely upon that
article ? If they hnvc whcrcwitna) to pcpiundc
the jury to brine it in manslaughter, «hnt am
they the worw for it ? So, inv dear, hare done
ii|xin this suhjcnt. Was captain Maclieaih here
Litis monnug for the banknotes he left with you
last week ?

Af n Fcach. YeSt my dear ; and, though tlie
bonk hadi stopt payment, he was m) cheerful, and
lo agreeable ! Sure there is not a finer gentle-
inna upon the mad dian the capiain ! If he cornea
from llflg&hot at any reavinable hour, he hath
promised to maVc one tliis crening with Folly,
me, and Boh Booty, at a party at quadrille. Pray,
my dear, h the captain nch f

P«cA. The captain keeps too good company
ever to grow rich. Marybonc and tlie chocnlate-
boUMs are hii uuHoin};. ' The nun, thai propOMrs
to get money by play, should hare tiie education
of a 6nc gentleman, and be trained up tn it from
his youth.

Jura Pcark. Really I am sorry, upon Polly's
accoant, the captain hath not more discretion.
VV'hat busme^s liiitli he to keep conipniiy with
lords and gentlemen? Ite sliould leave itiL-m to
prey upoti uae nttotber.

Feai'A. Upon Polly's account ! What a plague
doe« the nomaii mean f Upon I'olly's account !

Mrt Patch. Captain Maclicatb is very fond of
the j^rl.

Peach. And what then f

Mrt Fciich. If I hare any skill in the ways of
w-omen, I am sure Polly tliinks him a very pretty
man.

Penc/i. And what tlien ? you would not be 60
mad to have the wench marry him 1 Gamesters
and highm-armen are generally very cood ti> their
wlinres, but they arc very devils to their wires.

Mrt Petuh. Bui if Polly should be in lore,
how should we help her, or liow can »he help
htrwrlf' Poor girl ! I'm in llie utmost concern
about her.

AIH. — IFAy ii ^four/aithful slave ditdained f

If love the virgin's heart invade.
How, like a ninth, the simple maid
Sail plays id>uut Uie dame !
1/ soon she be not made a wife,
tier honour't singed, and then fear life
She's ■ ■ what 1 dare not name.

Peach. Loolt ye, wife, a haodsome wench, in
our way of busincsa, 15 as profitable a« at tlie bar
uf a Temple codec-huuse, who looks upoa it as

her livelihood to grant every liber^r but one.
You see I would iodulge the girl as far as pru-
dectly we can in any thing but nianiage : after
that, my dear, him RhatI we be safe? Are we
unt then in her husband's povrcr.^ for the hus-
band hath the absolute puwer nver all a wife's
«erret!i but her own. If the girl had tlic diactw-
ijon of a court-lady, who can have a dozen of
young fellows at her car, without complyii^ with
one, I should not matter it : hut Folly is tinder,
and u sinirk will at once set her in a flame. Mar-
ried ! it the wench docs not know her own pn>-
lit, sure -<the knnwii her own uh-iuure better than
to make hersctf u property ! My daughter, to m^^J
sliould be like a court-lacly to a mmistcr of M^^H
— a key to iIh: whole gane. Married ! if tbtt^^^
fair is nut already done, I'll terrify ber froCD i^
by the example of our neighbours.

Hfrt Pracb. Mayliap, my d(uir, you may tii-
j ure the girl : she loves to imitate the 6ne ladies,
and she may only nllow the captain liberties in
the view af mtcrest.

Peach. But 'tis your duty, mr dear, to warn
the girl against her ruin, and to nistrurt licr how
to muke the most of her beauty. I'll go tu bfr
this muniKitt, and sift her. In the mean time,
wife, rip out the coronets and marks of ttiesc
dozen of cambric handkerchiefs; fur ! can di»>
pose of them tliis aftcnioon to a chap in the city.

(£xrf.
3f rf Patch. Never was a man more out of the
way in an argument ttian my husband ! Why
must our Polly, forsooth, dilTer from her sei, aad
love only her husband f And why must Poll}*i
marriage, contrary to all observation, make bee
the less followed by other men i All men
thieves in Jove, and like a woman tlie bctt'
being anotlier'ti property.

AIR. — Ctfaii the tiuiple th'tngi we dOf ijc

A maid is like the golden ore.
Which hath guineas intrinsical inV,
Whose wonh is nwcr knnwn bcfora
It is tried and impressed in the miuC
A life's hke a guinea in gold,
Stampt with the name «f her spouse:
Now here, now there. Is bouji^ or is *oUp1
And b current in ercry house.

Enter FiLC«.

Come hither, Filch ! I am as fond of this child
as though my mind misgave nte he were mv uwn.
He hatli as hne a hand at picking a pocket as a
woman, and is as nimble- fingercu aa ■ j*>Bi^-
If an unlucky sciiSKin does not cut the rt>pe of
thy hfe, I pronounce, boy, thou wilt be a rreat
man in history. Where wasyonr post last night,
my boy i

Fitch. I ply'd at t)ie opera, madam ; and, cu^
sidcriiig 'twas neither dare nor raiiiyi m that tbfln

Gay.T

BRITISH DRAMA.

47

^ „ no smt luirn in gftUlng chain Kod cuoctiu,
RDadc ft ulenblp naod on't. These seven hand-
kerchiefs iHula*n.

Afrt Pftk. Coloured ooe*, I acp. Ttwy are
sruiTE Bile, from our wnreltouK udUdnfi^ among
(be MameD.

Filch. And lliU snaff-box.

Mlrt Peach, Set iii gold ! a pretty encourage-

Brt Uiis to a young beginner !

Ft/ck, 1 hod ■ fair Itig nt a channing ^fild
watch. Pox take the tajloni fur makint; the dth^
•d deep and muTDvc ! It ivtuck by lite way, uiiil I
ma forced to make my esLapc under a coach.
Jtcally, madam, I Tear I shall be cm oft in the
Mo¥reT of my youth ; to that, every now and then,
I «as pniDpt, I ha\-e thoughts ot' taking up,

id foifw to Ma.

Jm PegrA. You ^lould go to Ilnr-JiIe^-in-the-
ialSfaful 10 Morybnne, child, to Icarii valuur!
are the schools that have brfd !H> niiuiy
men. 1 thought, bov, by this time, thou
loal (eat, as well as shamr. Poor lad ! how
ittle does be know as yet nf the Old Bailey !
for the fine fact Fll cnyurc thee frotti being
IMifed; and g<ung co sea, Tilch, tvill conic time
;h npoo a lentencc of transportation. But
, aiaoe you hove notliing better to do, eren
to your book^ and learn your catechism; for
K»Uy ft mas makes but an ill figun: tn ti>e Ordina-
|]r*a paper, who cannot give a «atisf;ictory answer
to ha questions. But bark you. my tad I don't tetl
ne ft Ik* for you know I hate a linr ; Do you
knotr of any thing tluit hath po8t between cap-
bun Mac^teath and our Polly ?

ItUk. I \>cc. you, madam, Aon't ask me ; for 1
BHC either lell n lie in you or tn Mi»s Polly, fur
I paxniwd her I would nut tell.

Jfn Peach. But when the honour of our fa-
mily » conccrocd

FU<h. \ *Avk\\ If-ad u »at) life witl) MiuPully,
if ever »hc come to kuow tliat I toM yuu. De-
ader, I would n<jt willingly forfeit my own ho-
Boor. by bctrayinc aoy Iwdy.

T^rt Ptvth. Ymuicr comes niy husband und
^Dy. Come, Fitch, yuu shall go uith me inio
aiy own niom, and IpU me the wlmle stnry. I'll

r'*e lJM>e a glau of a mint delicious cordial, tliat
keep (<^ my own dnnkiog. ytJeunt

Enter "PiAcnvH satf Poli.t.

PoUy. I know as well as any «if the fine tn-
im bow to makt the moot of my<<cU', and of my
Man lao. A wonan knows how to be mercen-
ary, ihoiirh «he bath never teen ut court, or ut
laaacnntlv: we have it in ournntures, papa. If
I «ltnw raptniM MarhtAch wmc inHin:; librrtirts
1 have lhi« watch unci ullier vttililc murks of liiii
farovr to shew fur it. A ^rl, who cannot grant
uinu> thmg% and refute what i» mo3t inateriu),
vill make but a pour band of her benuly, oud
wni be tliniwn upou the common.

Allt — What ihati I do toiAem h<fw much I lave
h£r¥

Virgins are like tlie fiur flower in its lustre,
Which in tlio garden enamels tlie ground,
Nenr it tlie bees in pbv flutter and cluster,
And gaudy battertlics frolic around;
But wlieii ouc« plurJted, 'tis no longer alluring,
To Co\-ent-gnrdeu 'tis sent (as yet sweet),
There fades, and shrinks, and grows past all en-
during,
[lots, sttnka, and dies, and U trod under feet.

Peach. You know, Polly, [ am notagainst your
toying and tritling with a customer in tlic way of
business, or to get out a secret or w; but if 1
find out tliat you have played tin: fool, and are
nutrried, you jade you, 111 cui your throat, liussy !
Now, you know my mind.

£n/er Mas Peacbum.

AIR. — 0 London u a fine town,

Mas PcAcavM [in a very great pumW]

Our Polly is a sad slut ! nor heeds what we liavc
tunght her,

I wonder any man alive will erer rear a daugh-
ter I

For slie must have both hoods and gowns, and
hoops to swell Iter pride.

With sL'arfii and ^taya, and gloves and lace, and
Uie'll have uitn IwMde;

And when she's drcst with care and cost, nll-
tfMnpting, tine and gny,

As men should verve a eucumbrr, she flii^ her-
self away.

You bngcage I you hnasy I you inmmideratc
jade ! had you been luinircd it would nut have
veicd mt, for that might liuvc been your misfor-
mne; but tn An such a mad thing by choice I
The wench is married, husband J

Pcath. Married ! the captain is a bold man.
and will risk any tiling for money : tu be sure, he
lielievcs her a fi>rtnne. T>^\ yu think your nir>
(her and I should have lived airaiorlnbly so h>r>C
loperlier, if ever we had been married, biiggnpe ?

Mts Pfach. I knew f\». was ainnvfc a pnmd
shit, and nnw the wench hath ptuyed the f<:>ui and
nturried, because, fonuMitb, »ho would do like the
gL'Utry ! Can yuu support the expcnce of a hu»-
bund, hussy, in gnmtng, drinking, and wboriog?
have you money enough to carry on the daily
□uarrelfiuf man und wife, about who almll squnti-
der mostr There are not many husbands tttid
wircA who can bear tiic clinrges of plnguing one
ouutlicr in a handsome way. If you mu»t be
married, could you introduce' nuUidy into our
family but a lii^lnviiynmn ? Why. thou foolish
_iade, thou wilt be at ill used, ninl a<i inucli ne-
glected, as if tliuu hadat married a lord !

BUmSH DRAMA.

[Oat.

Ptath. Jjtt not ytnir »nfiet, my dtar, brcftk
tltmuKl) the rulci of decency; tor tltc captain
louk» upon liiiiuelf, in llic military capacity, 8» »

{;cntlemnn by his pmfrs^on. Beftidc» what he
inth uliY-ady, I Louw he is ia a fiur way o( get-
ting, ur of dving ; iind both these ways^ tet me
tril you, nit: must cxctDcnt clraiiccs for a wife.
Tell lac, biiMy, are vou ruined or no ?

Mrs I'each. Willi F'uUy's fortune, &he ml^t
' very well have eorie otfto a iieraon of distinction :
' ytSf that you tni^bt, you {loiiung slut !

Peafk. What! ii the wench dumb? spenk, or
I'll tanke you p]<:ad by M^ucczing uut an answer
from yuu. Arc you really boattd wife to him,
or arc you only upon likingP [Pmchcf htr.

foil}/. Oh ! * [Screamiae.

Afrt Peaeh. How the nuthrr is to be pilica,
hath handwmr dauf^htere ! Locks, bolts,
and Ict'turcb of inonUity, iirc nollitni; tu
'tf>eni; llicy break throug,h thciu all: they liare
&» much plcnsure in chcatinj; a fatl>cr and mo
llicr, as in rliciitiui: nl card!).

Prae/i. Why, i'oll>, I shall «oon know if you
are Diarried, by MuLl<eatira keeping from our

AIHj— Grim kingo/lbe gbotitjSff.

Pol/y. Cnn Iwe be Controulod by advice?
Will Cupid our motlicrf obcv?

'Iliiiiii^li nu Ix^iirt %Tns H.4 tn^icn a» ic*^
At 1»» flninc 'twould have melted uway.

When hi: ki't inc, 510 w^crtly he prettf
H'wa!! 60 sweet that 1 must Imre cumpUed,

So 1 thought it both Hifnt and licsl
To marry, lur fru you should chide

Mrs praih, Tbni fill rlie hopes of our family
are pone for ever aud ever !

Peach, And Mnclieaih timy lniii<; hh father
and molhi>r-iii-lxw, u) hnpm 10 grt itilo llictr
daathtcr's fnnuiic.

Pol/y. 1 did not marry him (a« 'tis llie fasliinn)
coolly and dclibcrutily far liouuur or money —
but I love him.

Mr$ Pftirfi. Love hitn ! wor%c and worse ! I
Chouulit ihr Ctrl had been Itrltcr brod. Oh huv
heml ! hii^txuid ! Iir-r folly makes mc luad ! uiy
head stum^! I'm dintructed! I can't uippnit
uiywlf— Obi [Faintt.

Prarh. S-e, wench, to what a Cf>ndiliou yon
have rcductd your poor iiioIIut! A rIo*"* of cor-
dinl thiK inuant ! ut>w iIh- |KMir woman take* it
lo heart! [PoJtj/ /jofi out, ttnii relurni ri/A iV.]
j\h, h'juy! now this u iho ouly comfort your
uiutlier hu» Icll.

Pullif. Give iKTattolher^lass, sir; my mamma
dntiki double the r|uaiitilv whmevcr slic id out
of order. 1 his, you ■»oe, fetches her.

Mti Ptack. '\'\w trirl slicws *uih a readinefiy,
and »i> uiucb cofKcni, that 1 tould almuu find in
jiiy lirarl lu fur]*iie Iter.

AIR.— O Jmmi, OJtnwff

r thou Aeen t

O Polly ! ynu mif^it liave toyed aoi) kilt;
By keepiiii; men off you keep tneni oo :

Poily. But be so teased me,
.^nd he so pleased mc.
What 1 did you idum Imvo douc.

Mrt Pfach. Not witJi a highwaymau — you
sorry slut !

Peaci. A word with you, wife. Tis no new
thiiif* for a wench to take a luan without consent
of parcuts. You kaow 'tis the frailty of woman,
my dear.

Mr$ Peach. Yes, indeed, the tox is frwl ; but
the lirst ume a woman is frail, she should be
somewhat nice mcihlnks for then or never is the
time to miikc her fortune: after that, she bath
nutliiiik: to do but to ^luird bcrsetf from bcilf
found out, and she may do what she pleases.

Peach. Make yourself a little easy ; i have a
(li<tU):lit slitdl soon set all multera ayain tn rights.
Why M melancholy, Polly? suicc what ia atmo
cannot Ik undone, we mutcnll ondearour to ouko
the I>cU iif iL

Mn Peach. Wdl, Potly, as far as one woauui
can forgive anotltnr, I forgive thee. Your fathtrx
a Ion foud of you, huuy.

Poffy. Then all my sonowf. «rc at an end.

A/m PracA. A mighty Ukely speech, in itotlg
fur a weni'b who is justmarned 1

Ain — T%omatt J cannot, ^e.

Pollif. I, like a ship, in stonns was toct,
Yet ufmid to put into land.
For seized in the port the ressers lost^
Whose, treasure is cnntyabaud.
'l*hc waves ori: laid,
My duty's paid ;
< ) jof beyond enpresuon I
Thus safe asltore,
T ask r)'> more;
My all's in mj poBsewon.

Prach. I bear customers in t'other roomt gn
talk with them, Polly, but came acain as soon as
llicy are pmc. But liark yt-, child T if 'tis the gef>>
ilciiiannSowashere ycstcrdav about tlie repi-atiDg
«Bt*-h, *ny. yuu believe wc can't get intellicenoe
id" it lill [ >-iuornii*, for I lent it tu Sukcy Strad-
dle to make a 6^re with it to-oi>;lit at u tarem
ill Drurv-lane. If t'otlicr gcntliintin colls fur tJM
siUcr-hilted sword, you know U.-Fllohnjwed Jam*
my hath it on, atid he duih nut ctmic from TutH
brid<:c till Tuesday iiii;hl ; sn thuc it mniMl be
hnd lill then. [Kri/ PoLtr.] Dear wife ! be a
lililc pacified; d<iirt let yoor passion ntu awa^
nilb viHir srttscs : Polly, I gnuit ynu, bath done
a rH".!! thing-

Mn Peach. If she hod ontv an intrisur witfi
ilie fiUow, hIiv die very btst ^smilin have <i-

Gat]

BRITISH DRAMA.

ruwd uid hoiMlpd op & ffajltj of that sort. Tis
mnrrii^e, hmlnod, tnai maliM it a blcini>h.

^emck, Bat maaey, wife* is ibe iru« fuller*!)
cani> for ropttlatiam ; Ihem ii not a »poL or a
Bdua buc wbM U au take oul A riWi P)^ue,
now-Q-^an, 't% tit cuinpanr fur aiijr gcntleiaiui ;
ond llie wrjfld, uijr tl^ar, liatli u<it sucU a aut-
leoyi Tur rugucry as yuu iiuai^iitc. 1 ttll you,
wiliV 1 caa nake this'iiuoch turn to our advan-
ciie.

Mn Ptaek. I am very sensible, huri»nil, that
cmpuin Macheaih is worth iiiouey ; but 1 am in
doubt whether be hath not tiru or tlu^ie wives
alrrmdy, aad then, if he sthuuld die in a sctimdii
ur two, IVIIy's dower would conic into di:>putc.

i'/ocA, 'I'bat, indeedj u a pouit which ought to
be considered.

AQL— ^ Htldkr and a uitor.

A fox may stoat >-our hens, sir ;
A nhore yuiir health and pcm'e, wr;
Vuur dHit^hter mb yuur che<tl> sir;
Your w lie uiay &teiJ your rest, six ;
A thief yiHir coods and plate.
But tlus la all but picking
With re»t, peace, eoe^l, and cliickcn :
Ii erer was decreed, sir,
If lawyer's hniid h fee'tl, sir.
He stods your whole L-Mute.

The lawyert are bitter enemies to thnse in nur
»ati: tbey dun't care Uuit any budy iliuuU) |£et ii
dmilntiiie Utclihoud but Uicuuelves.

Enter PoLLT.

Potl^. I^was emir Nimniinfi; Ned; he hrouitht
■n a rtumiisk wuxhiw-t-urtaui, a hiK>|>-pcttici>»t, a
pnr ul wivor cniidlevticks^ a iiermt):, and niie
tili stuckiu)^ fntiu the ttrc that happ4.'iH:d lu>l
aixhc

rev^JL There is nut n fellow that is cleverer
n hu w.iy, and sateit imirfc ttP'tli out of the Hre,
llnu Ned. Uut u<fw. VM*, tuyuur utTiur; fur
IW1«T* fuUHt aiii U- UH lliey are. You arc uirr-
oed, tbft-a. it tceiiu f

PaUy- Ye*, ur.

Ptmth. And how do yuu propusa to lire,
dublf

PoUy. Like other womeo, sir; upon die indu»-
0^ iif liiv liDfttmitcl.

M ■ VVItat I Is tJie wench turned f<ml ?

> I' . ■■■'» xvife, hke a M>lilier'a, liuUi a» til-

tW ti iti> |jay UA his couipiinv.

P*m<h, .\nd had nut you tho coRimon vicivs of
t guittrwoiiuiii in your nmrniiKe, I'olly P
t^lfy, I dua't kuifw whut you niean, air.
J'rvA- Of a jnintiirr, uiid uf bciiiii a widow.
f'-'lf. ilut I lo%L- Itiin, Mr: h<J>«', tlivii, could I

Wi« lfioiiiiht> ul' pHrtini; wiih ttuui
ftsrt. P<artiog niih hiui ! why that is the

Vol in.

whole sehcrao nnd intention of ftll marriaj^ nrti-
cle». The cotnforuiUc estate ut i»tduiAh«(Ml is i
ihe only l»"pc that lecps up n wifc't* spint^
Where i» the womaii, who wuulil scniple to be a
wife, if slic hall it in her puwcr Ui Iv a wiiluiv
whenever slie pleased? If you hnve aoy views of
this 9iut, Piillv, I shall think the nmtch ni>t so
very UMrea-uimble.

Poflif. How 1 dread to hear your advice ! yet
£ must be|; yuu lo explnin vourM-lf.

PttKJt. Secure what he Imth ^nt; hove him
pcttched the next sessioib; and, iheiv ut onoc,
you ore uiiidc a rich widow.

Puil^. Wtml! niurilrr die muii I love! the
blotfd runs cold nt my heart with the very
thought uf it !

Pfarh. V\\ IVilly ! wlial Irnth inonJcr to do in
the ulTiiir ? SiiK^t the ibiiij; »*mji»ci' or later must
liitjipcii, I dare My the cnpiain hiin»elf tvould like
iliHtwe should fcet tlie reward for hisdcHth iwion-'
er than u uniuger. Why. ^My, the cuptain
knrtws ttiHt iis 'ti^ his eiDpluytnent to rub, i*o it is
aun to take rohben ; every ntnn iu his businMS :
iu tliai llirrc U ito inulioc in ihe due.

Mi$ Ptaik. Av, huslmnd, now you have nick-
i'l :1.(.- maiuir ! \\i have him penched i* (lie on-
ly thing cuuld etftr make tuc l'ori;ive her.

AIR.— A'om, ponder aw//, ye parenti dear,

Polly. Oh, ponilcT welt ) be not severe ;
To save a wretched Mife ;
for, im the rope, thiU hnnp my dear.
Depends puur Polty'aiile.

Mrt Ptath. But wur duty (o your pnrciit^
hiissy, uhliises you to huu)( hua. What would
luany a wife itivc for such an ripp.irluiiitv !

Pollv. What is a jointure? what is widow-
hood to me P I blow my heart; 1 cauoot suniva
turn.

AIR. — Le prinlempt rapelte nui armcs.

The turtle thus, with plaintive cryinf^

Her lover dying.

The turtle ihii% with plaintive crytti;,

Ijunenis her dove;

Down she drop*. <)oite spent with sighing*

Pmrvd in deullt, a» pftired m tove.

Thus, sir, it will happen to your poor Polljr.

Mr» Prark. Wliat! is ibo foiii in love in ear*
riwi, then f I hate llkjc for bc«Dc particnhir. —
VN'hv, wi-nt h, thou art a shnmc to thy very scs.

JV/y. But hear nie, inyihcr— if jou cfcr lo-
ved^

jUri PrrwA. Tlw>iw curseil pisy-books the
rendt h.ivc been her ruin ! One word nwrc, hes-
sy, and I ^mlt knock your brains out, if you have
any.

AitfA. Keep oat of the way, Polly, for fear

G

50

BRITISH DRAMA. "

[Gay.

of tniscliief, aiitl coiiaider of wbai js proposed to

Mrs Prach. A»»tiv, tiiiMy ! Haiig^ your hiis-

Innil, ktid liv dulit'iit. [Folly /Uttning.] 'Vhe

J thiri^, liu'tbaiid, must and shall Ih- done. For tin'

ale of iiiU'Hij^cncc, we tniisi take ollitr mra~

Fturus, iiud bttvc liiin pcnched Um: ucxt scwiinn

witliuut bcr coutfcnL If she will tMt know her

durr, wo know our*.

rrtuh. Kul really, mv rfrar, it 2rip*Ts onr's
hciut to take ofT a preni ninn. When I ciiitsidcr
kiiif persouul bravery, hi» tine scrata;£Ciii, h«.m
laiiucn we liuvf ulrcutly ^nt hy hint, and lion
Imucti niMrc viK may tft't, iite(hiitk» I cannot find
[ hi my heart to linro n himd in lii^ dcuth : I wifth
[you coiihl hai-r iiiiiiU- Toll) undertake it.

Vl/fs I'fnfh. Iliit in a ca.sr nl'nconsLsity— ^-our
own livrs arc in dun^cr.

Pfach. TIm'ii. imk'rd, wo must cntiiply with
tlio customs of the wurUl. and inaku gnititudc
give way to intcrrsu lltr bhall be takt-ii olV.
Afw PtQch. I'll undertake to manage Polly.
Peach. And I'll prepare niatt^rrs for the Old
Bailey. [Kreant pLAtiiuu and Mrs Feaculm.
Polltt. Now, I am a wretch, indeed ! Mo'
think* I sec him alrrudy in the cart, sweeter nnd
more lovely than tlie nuscfray in lii^lmnU! I lieur
[he crowd extolling his resolution aird iutrcpidity !
>Vhnt Tollini of M^^liii arc *icnt from the uindnws
of Ilotl>orn, Uint Ml comely n yoiith shtiuld In-
broudit to diseruce ! I see him ar. the tree ! the
wluilei irrlenri'iiilmrs! cvrnhiiirUer* weep! .Ituk
Ketch himself tuMtnt(>s 10 pcrfrirm hi^diity. uml
would be glnd to'lo^e his iVie, by a rc|irieve !
■What, then, will liecomr- of Polly ? As vet I mnv
infonn him of llieir de^iicn, nnil aid him \n his
escape. It shall be *a. Ilul thin he flie«>; rib-
KOts liiin»elf, and I bar myself from hiii dear,
' 'dear cnntci-uition ! that, to<s will distract me. —
If be keeps nul of the way, my papn and mam-
ma may in tiiiid relent, ami we may be liappy. —
If he Htay«, be \s hnnccd, and then he is lost for
CTcr ! He intended to hv cwncealcd in ray room
till the dusk of the evening. If thry are aluiiad,
I'll this inslnot let him out, le^t Mime accident
should prevent liiiu.

[Exit, and rtturn* aifh ^f AfiirvTH.

AIR. — Preliy parrot wj, ^r-

Jlfor. PccHy Polly, wy

When I wft* a«ay.

Did yonr hnry nex-cr stray

To snnic ncw«;r lover ?
Potty. Witlitiiit di*'.nii<tc,

IlenviriL* Highs

Dotinp eye*,

My ri)ii«tBnt htnrt disrmer.

Fondly let me loll.
Jlffif. O, pretty, pretty Poll I

Ptittif. And ore you a» fond of me as erer, my
dcnr f

Mac. Suspect my itonuur. my oHimec; wa-
ited any tiling, but my lotc .May iny pi^toU
miss Hre, mav my mare slip bcr shoulder while I
;iin pui-sued, if I ever foreuke ihce !

PuUtf. Nay, m* dear! I hate no reason lo
doubt you ; fur I find in the roniauce yon lent me,
none of the great heroes were ercr fal^e ia
love

Ain. — Pruy,/«j> ont-, he kind.

ifar. My heftrt wns so free.
It rmed like the bee*
Till Folly my passion requited;
[ >.ipt rarh llonrr, .
I changed every hour.
But liere ifvery flower is united.

PoUtf. Were vou sentenced to tran^portntiMn,
«ure, my dear, wu could not leave me Wluod
yon — c'ould you f

Mnc. Is there any power, urn force, that
CTHild tear mc from thte ? Yon might M»on«r tear
a pension out of llie bands of n courtier^ a fee
fruni u lawyer, a pretty woman from a looking
glass, or any wimmn fiom quadrille — Dot to tear
mc fnjm iliee, i!> imposMble !

Ain. — Oxtr lite hills tmdfar aavy.

^hc. Wf fp I laid on Oeenland's coast.
And in inv arnni ambraced my fau^
Wunn amidst oteraol frost,
Ti»u noon llie bnl f year's night would pass.
Poify. Were I sold on tndiou .suil.

Soon as the burnittiE day was closed^
I could mock the •nltry tnil,
When on my clinrmcr'* brenst reposed.
lilac. And I would love you all the day,
Pvl/y. Evcrr night would kiss and play»
jlfoc. If with mc you'd fondly slmy
PoUjf. Over tlie hills and far nwuy !

Path}. Yea, I would (;o with ibee. Bnt, ohf
lio» shall I M|>r!tk it? 1 mujit be torn from thee!
We nni«t part !

Mnr. Mow ! port!

PoUif. We must, we must. My pnpa anJ
nmnuna arc set ncninst thy life ; they nnn, (>i-M
now, are in search after thee : they nre prepa-
ring c«-idcnee against thee : thy life depcods tip-
un a uiumcot.

AIU,— C?in thou werl my aitt thing.

Potttf. O what pain it is to pan !

Can I len\-e thre.nm I Icnre thee?
<) nhat pain il I4 tn jinrt !
Can thy Polly ever leave tbw?

Gat.]

BRITISH DRAMA,

51

But lest dentil my love should thwart,
And brin<.< tliec [i> die fnial cart,
Thai 1 irar tbce tVom my h\cciiin% henrt !
FIjr beooc ood let tuc leave tliee !

Od« kiss, and then one kiss- — -Begone— — -
i'BreweU <

JXar. Mv hand, my lienri, luj dcnr, are so ri-
vried to thine, that I cnnmtt ltx«c mv huld.

Polif/. But my pxpa may iutercA|ic tJ>cr, nnd
ihf-n 1 sltqiild lo4C thf vcr)- gliminentt]; of fHi|>c.
A few wetiks, perluips, mny reconcile us all. —
blmtJ thy I'uljy lienr from lliee ?

Mac. Muat ], then, eo }

Poiiv, And will notatnenoe chnitRc your love.'

itac. If you doubt it, let mc atuy and

W liaiigcd.

Fvl/y. U, how I fear ! how I tremble ! Go — '

but when safety will pvc you leave, you will he
sure to »vc me a^iun'. fur, ijU Uien, Polly i>
wretcUcd.

Allt— 0 Me broom, ^e.

[Porting, and looking back at rarh other vitk
Jondnrsij he at ont dooTj ihe at the other.

Alac. Thti mucr thus a shilling scf>s,
Whlcii lie's oliliceti lu piiy.
With wi^hs re<iit:n5 it by ficf;rec!^
Anil t'enrs 'tis gone lor aye.
Polly. The bov iliu.«, wht-n liisapiirmw\ flofrn.
The Viird in siieiite eyes.
But Mimi ni iiiit ofsi^bt 'tis i:one.
Whines, whinipcra, &obs nml cries.
[Ettunt,

ACT II.

I

\

SCENE t. — A tavern near Keiegate,

Jemwv Tw(rcBc«, CROoii-FiM;rR'i>.T«cK, Wat
ORk««T. ]<i)Bi» or Uacsiioi, Niuuiko Xku,
U4aRT p40Dliir.TOV, .M*Tor tuc Mint, Ur\
BviM^Cf and the rest of the gan^^, at the table,
with «T«Cj brwuly, and tobacco.

Brn- BtT, prithee. Mat, what i* bcromc of
thy brother 'l'i>m r I ti;irc not wen him sitiuc my
TWurn I'ruiii tni(i')p<>rtMtiuu.

Mat. PiH>r hni[|»rr Tom bad an areidont tlii>
dme iwelvemoiuh, and so elevcr made u tHliii\
he maa, that 1 could ant save him frr>Di [htt«c
ttiying; niac»ii> the Mire:con«, and now, piHir man,
he is Eiiint^ the utiunys' at Sur^eoiu-lull.
BtM. S-j, It m:«iih hu) time wnt c>w\v.
Jrm. But the prriciit tiuic i& ouri*, and nuh'jdy
tlitc h«th more. VVtiy are llw la^« Ictvlltd nt
mi \re we uu>rv dithuitesi tliau thr rr^tnf iiinii-
liod? What «e win, St^nllcincn, i» our own, by
the law at arms, und the lit-ht ul' conquest.

Crook. Where ^liiill we tind such diiolhcr Act
»f jv^.;.r,.t plidowplipr^ whtf, to a tuna, ure
kU \t( dcallt f

I! ~ il meii und true!
tla^ Ol tnctl OHiragO, mid imlcfati^blc in-
iotryl

HaL Who i» there, here, that would not die for
bifnend?

Hot. Who IK there^ here, iliat would betray bim
•lor iin tiitcrc»t t

Ifuf. Mirw me a pog of oourticr« thiit can
nyts murti.

btm. We are for a juit partition of the norld :
(*f tvcfj oian bath a riuht to enjoy life.

Ud(. We retrench the ^upertintties of man-
"*1 The world 19 avaricious and 1 hiUc iivn-
i'»- A covctoui fellow, like a jackdnw, ^it-.il!-
lint he was oerer made 10 enjoy, for tiic sake

uf ImJius; ir. These arc tlie robliers of mnnltml ;
for money wn% oiadc for the free-heurted und
IceiKTOUs : and vtlnic i» the injury uf tnking
fruiu another what tie hatli nut tlie lieart to make
u&e of/

Jem. Our several suttons for the day are fixed.
Good luck attend us all ! I**ill the gbsaes.

AIU, — Fill retry gluts, tfC.

Mat. Fill every jilass, for wioe inspires ue^
Ami ftres ii.%

With courage, Im-e, and joy.
Wntneu and wUie ^nuld liir employ;
I9 there nu^ht else on earth deairuus?
('Auruf. Fill erery glass, &c.

Enter MAciitATU.

Afae. Gcoilcmeu, well met : my heart hath
lieen with ynn ilu<t hour, but an unespecti.*d af-
\aAr bath dftauicd me. No cerctuouy, 1 beg
you.

Atat, We were just breaking up to po upon
duty. \m 1 to liave tlie honour of uktnjc the
uir witb you, ur, Uits evcuiit); upon the hcadi? I
driiik 11 flnnu now and then with ilte -staee roach'
men, in the way of tVieudahip and intelliircncc;
and I kiiijw, that about thiit time, there nill be;
|tTLvseiit;era upon the western ruad wb«i arc worth
:<pcakin)j Milh,

Afar. I was to have been of that party——
but

Jlfii^ Hut wliai, air?

Hoc. U there auy roan who inspects my cou-
rapt?

Mat. We hare all been witncMeftof iL

Mac. Mv h<mour and truth to tlie gang^

M*it. I'll le answerable for it.

Sloe. In titc dirisi.m uf uur booty. Imvi> I ever
shewn the lenat marks of ariuicc or inju&tice }

5fl

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gat.

Mat. By diese qoestions lomething seems to
have ruffled jrou. Are any of us suspected f

Mac, X have a iixed coa6deocc, gentlcfnen, in
you all as men of honnur, and, as such, I vaJue
and respect you ; Peacbum u a man that is use-
ful to us.

Mat. fs ho about to shew us any foal play ?
YU shoot him through the head.

Mac. I beg you, gentlemen, act with conduct
and discrebon. A pistol is your Inst resort.

Mat. He knows uothti^; of this neetini;.

Mac. Buflness cannot go on without him : be
is a man who Lnows the world, and is a necessary
•gent to us. We have had a dieht difference,
and, till it is accommodated, I shwl be obliged to
keep out of his way. Any private dispute of
mine shall be of no ill consequence to my friends.
You must continue to act under his direction ; for,
the moment we break loose from him, our gang
is ruined.

Mat. As a bawd to a whore, I grant you, he
is, to us, of great convenience.

Mae. Make him believe I have quitted the
gang, which I can never do but wioi lifv. At
our private quarters, I will continue to meet you.
A ^etk or 9o, will probably reconcile us.

Mat. Your instructions shall be observed. —
H'is now h^ time for us to repair to our several
duties; so, till the evening, at our quarters in
Moorfields, wc bid you farewell.

Mac. 1 shall wish myself with you. Success
littieod you !

[Sits down meianckofy at the table.

ASR.— March tit Rikaldo, nith drums and
trumptU,

Mat. Let us take the road.

Hark ! I hear the sound of coaches,

The hour of attack approaches.

To your arras, brave boys, nnd load !

See the hall I hold !

Let the chemists toil like asses,

Our fire their fire surpasses,

And tarns all our lead to gold.

[The gang^ ranged in the ^front of the stage,
load their pistol*, and stick them under their
girdles ; then go off", singing the Jirst part in
thorns.
Mac. What a fool is a fond wench ! Polly is
most confoundedly bit. I love the sex ; and a
man, who loves money, ifiight as well be content-
ed with one guinea, as I with one womnn. The
town, pcrh^s, hath been as much obliged to nic
for recruiting it with frefvheaned ladies, as to
any recruitinn; officer in the ari:iy. 1 f it were not
for U9 and the other gentlemen of the sword,
Drury-ltne would be uninhabited.

AISl— Would you hate a young virgin, S^e,

If the heart of a man is depressed with cares,

The mist is dispelled, when a woman appears ;

like the notes of a fiddle she sweetly, sweetly

Raises the spirits, and charms our emn.

Roses and lilies her cheeks disclose.

But her ripe lips are more sweet than tlKwe ;-

Press her,

Carebs her ;

With blisses

Her kisses

Dissolve us in pleasure and sofl repose.

I must have women ! There is nothing unbends
the mind tike them : money is not so stroif a
cordial for the time — Drawer [

Enter Drawer.

Is the porter gone for all the ladies, according to
my directions ?

Draw. I expect htm bade every minute ; bat
you know, sir, you sent him as far as Hocklev-in;-
the-Hole for three of the ladies, for one in Viife-
gai^yard, and for the rest of them somewhere
about LewknerVlane. Sure, some of them are
below, for I hear die bar-bell. As they come, I
will shew tliem up. Coming, coming !

[Exit Drawer.

Enter Mrs Coaxcr, Dollt Trull, Mrs
Vixen, Betty Doxt, Jeicnt Diver, Mrs

Sr.AMMEKIN, SUKT TaWURT, Ond MOLLT

Brazen.

ilfflf . Dear Mrs Coaxer ! you are welcome ;
you look charmingly to-day : I hope you don't
want the repairs (if quality, and lay on painti —
Dolly Trull ! kiss mc, you slut ! are you as amor*
ous as ever, hussy ? you are always so taken op
with stealing hearts, that you don't allow your-
self time to steal any thing else : ah, Dolly ! tboo
wilt ever be a c(»que'tte. — Mrs Viien ! I'm your's;
1 always loved a woman of wit and spirit ; they
make charming mistresses, but plaguy wires.—
Betty Doxy ! come hither, hussy ! do you drink
as hard as ever ? you had better stick to good
wholesome bcpr; for,in troth, Betty, strongwaten
will in time ruin your constitution : you sbonM
leave those to your betters. — What, and my pKtty
Jenny Diver, too ! as prim and demure as ever!
(here is not any prude, though ever so high brad,
hath a. more sanctified look, with a mare mi»*
diievouB heart; nh, thou art a dear, artful b^

pocrite ! Mrs Slammckin ! as careleas bm

genteel as ever : all you fine ladies, wbo knov
your own beauty, affect an undrws, — But see !
here's Suky I'awdry come to coptradipt wfaRt I

Gay.1

BRITISH DRAM^V.

53

But

I Am

wu ayiiif ; cvrry thing hhc gets one vny, tht
lays oat upon hex back : vthj, SuLry, you mun
keep at hut ft doxut lulljrrai-n. — ^Mully Bmicii !
tSke Uua Ami.] that's well duae! I lute n frce-
nearted (tench -. thou hast a most agrc«able a»-

funu)Cc« girl, and art a» willing as a lunlc.

But hark! I bear moftic: the harper u at th«
door. If music be cbe food of luvc, y\ay on.
£re yon teat yuuraelvei, ladtM, wlial think yov
danceF Cotne int

£nl^HAnPSR.

Plar die French tune that Mn Slammckin wr»
■o lODil uf. [A (Jait(€ <■ /<! rvndf, in the Fremk
manner ; ntarthctad of' it thi* wnganU c/iorut.j

AlH-— Cotillon.

Youth's tlie season made for jojrB|
Lore m theo oar duty,
She, akiDc, who thnt cmploTi,
Well deMTves her bcau^.
Let's b« gajr
While wc may.
Beauty's a flower despised in docnjr.

Caonus, — Tcuth't tht Katon, &c

IjrC tu dnnk and sport to day,

ihin n not tn morrow ;

Love with fouth tlie» swift awaj,
I AflC u nought but wrruw.
J I>aacic and &ing.

Thne's oo the win^

\lf^ oevrr kf>o»> the return of spring.
Caoaus.— Lcf at drinks &p.

W AUe. Now, pray, ladic«, take your ptncc!>-

■ Here, fellow. [Pav» '*« Aorjwr.] Hid Uie drawer

brioip a» more wine. | Ksil harper.] If any uf llic

.aiiici chufie gin, I hofw ihey will be w I'reo tu

call for tL

/rib Ynu lo^vk a* if yoti meant me. Vrliic i»
ttrang enough fur nif. Indeed, »ir, I never drink
Mraog muerv t-'ut when I linvc tlie colic.

Jtf«r. Ju»t the eu'use of Uic line ladio ! why,
a bdy of <|unlity is never without Hip. colic I
hope. Mn Coaler, ymi have had {tood mcccu I'f
late in your vigils &munK the mercers ?

Oar. We have m many interIop«>n ; yet, with
inditscry, oue may utill have » liittc picking. I
tamed ■ «ilver-8i>wer«d lutesirinft. and a piece
iV hbdt padaioy, to Mr Pcachura's lock, but last
week.
I Vis, ThmrB'* Molly Brazen hath the m;lc nf a

nttieaankc : >lic hvetted a linen- draper'^ eyes -m
fui apon her, that he was nicked of three pieces
~ ric before be could look off,
, Oh) dear madam !■ But sure nothing
B op to your handlioi; of Uces ; and, theu.
mbnetudbasMrefittlcludiiiglQDguc! Tocheat

a man is nothing; but the woman must have fin*
pnrl^ inilc-cd, who dicaU a wuinnn.

Vur. UkiXt mudani, liek in li isnmll compaiS^
and is of easy o>nreyance. But you arc apt, im^
dam, tu think too well uf your frieud^.

Cwis. If any wonuui hiUh uiurc art than nn-
otlicr, to be sure it is Jenny Uirer : tiioue)* her
fellow be never so a^-euble. she can pick Ins
)M>ckct M coolly Ob if untiiey were her only plea-
sure. Now, that is a command of the poMions
uocoroinoQ m a woman.

Jfn. I never go tu the tavern with a man, but
ill the view uf buMueK<t. 1 have otiitr houn, and
other surt of men f'>r my pk-aoure; but, had I
your address inudnnt

Afar. Ilnt'c done with your compliments, la-
dies and drink idiout. Vou arc not so food of
me, Jenny, a» yim used to he.

Jen. 1'ib nut cuuvenient, sir, to shew my food*
nrsa amtiiig ru many nvals. lis ynur own chuice^
and not the warmth of my incliitauoa, that wilt
determine you.

A\H,—AU in a mitty momtHg.

Before the barn-door, crowing,

The C'>ek by hcus atteiided^
liis eye* ornund him throwing,

Stnmis for a while »uspciidcd;
llicii, one tie siiiplt-s frutii lime crew,

And cheers tht- happy liea,
With hi>w do yuu do, and how do you dc^

Aud liuw do you ogeiif

Mac. All Jenny 1 thou art a dear slat !
Trtti. Pray^ madatn, were you ever ia keep*

ingf

TrtR'rf. I hope, ninHnm, I have not been w
loi^ upon tlic town hut I li»vu met with som*
^uud fortune as well &■• my nci({hbuure.

XV-k//. Pardon me, madam ; 1 meant no harm
by the c^uestiun ; 'twas only in the way nf codvct-
sution.

Tiacd. Indeed, madnm, if 1 hud nut been a
foul, I might have lived very handsomely with my
U?t frii'iiiJ ; but, upon hismiuiug tive ^uiuchs h«
turned :ne off. Now, I ucver iU9pccu-d lie bad
counted Uiem.

.SV/im. Who do you look upoo^ madam, as your
best sort of keepers t

TrulL Thnt, madam, is thereafter as they be.

fiJam. I, mailnni, was once kept by a Jew, and,
bntiiit: their religion, to wofueu they arc a goo(|
sort of people.

Tau-J. now, for my part, I own I like nn old
fellow ; for we always make them pay for whitt
they cannot do.

I'ir, A spruce 'prentice, let me tell yoo, ladirf,
is no ill thing; tliey bleed freely: 1 have M.>nt at
leut two or tliree doicu of them, in luy lime, to
the piautntious.

Jen. but to be sure, sir, with so muc^ good

^4

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gat.

fortune as you have hod upon tbe rotSB, you must
be grown immensely rich i'

Mac. The road, indeed, hath done me justice,
but the gaming-table liath been my ruin. .

AIR. — When once I lay with another man's
Ki/e, ^c.

Jen, The gamesters and lawyers are Jugglers

alike,
If they meddle, your all is in danger ;
like gypsies, if once they can 6nger a sous^
Your pockets they pick, and they pilfer your

house.
And give your estate to a stranger.

A man of courage should never put any thing to
the risk but his life. These are the tools of a
man of honour : cards and dice are only fit for
cowardly cheats, who prey upon their friends.

[She takei up one pistol, Tawdht taket
up the other.

Tawd. This, sir, is fitter for your hand. Be-
sides your loss of money, 'tis a loss to the ladies.
Gaming takes you off from women. How fond
could 1 be of you ! but, before company, 'tis ill
bred.

Mac. Wanton hossies !

Jen. 1 must, and will have a kiss, to give my
wine a zest.

[TA^ take him about the neck, and make
tignt to Peachuh and constables, tcho
rush in upon kirn.

Peach. I seize you, sir, as my prisoner.

Mac. Was this well done, Jenny ? — Women
are decoy-ducks; who can trust them? beasts,
jades, jilts, harpies, furies, whores !

Peach. Your case, Mr Macheath, is not parti-
cular, llie greatest heroes have been ruined by
women. But, to do them justice, ) must own
they are oretty sort of creatures, if «-e could trust
them, YoQ must now, sir, take vour leave of the
Udies ; and, if they have a mind to make ynu a
visit, Uiey will be sure to find yon at home. This
gentleman, ladies, lodges in Newgate. Constables,
wait upon the captain to his lodgiogs.

AIR. — Whenjirtt I laid siege to vty Chlorit.

.Mac. At the tree I shall sufler with pleasure.
At the tree I shall suffer with pleasure ;
Let me go' where I will.
In all kinds of ill,
I shall find no such furies as these are.

Peach. Ladies, T\\ take care the reckoning
shall be discharged.

[£xtr Macheath, guarded^ with Peach-

UM and constables ; the aomen remain.^

Vix. Look ye, Mrs Jenny; though Mr Peach-

nm may have made a private bai^in with you

and Sukey Tawdry for Defraying the captain, as

a

we were all asssistii^ wd ought all to share a-
tike.

Coax. I think Mr Peachnm, after so lone an
acquaintance, might have trusted me as weU as
Jenny I>ivcr.

Slam. I am sure at least three men of his
hanging, and in a year's time, too, ^if ^ did me
justice] should he set down to my aconiDt.

Trull. Mrs Slainmekio, that is not fair, for you
know one of them was taken in bed with roe.

Jen. As for a bowl of punch or a treat, I be-
lieve Mrs Sukey will join with me: as for any
thing else, ladies, you cannot in conscience ex-
pect it.

Slam. Dear madam

Trull. I would not for the world

Slam. 'Tis impossible for mc-

Trull. As I hope to be saved, madam

Slam. Nay, then, I must stay here all night —

TruU. Since you command me- ■■ —

[iUcun/ uitk great ceremony,

SCENE 11.-^ Newgate.

Enter LucKiT, Turnkeys, MA.CHEATn, and
Constables.

Ijock. Noble captnin! you are welcome; yoa
have not l)ccn a lodger of mine this year and
half You know the custom, sir : garnish, cap-
tain, garnish. Hand me down mose fetters
there.

Miic. Those, Mr Lockit, seem to be the-beavi*
est of the whole set. W'ith your leave I should
like the further pair better.

Lock. Look ye, captain, we know what is 6t-
test for our prisoners. When a gentleman asei
me with civility, I always do tbe best I can to
please him. Hand them down, I say. We have
thcin of^alt prices, from one guinea to ten; and
'tis fitting every gentleman sluMitd please himself

Mac. I understand you, sir. [Gives Aoxn.] —
The fees here are so many and so etorbitau^
that f^w fortunes cau bear the expeiice of get-
ting off handsomely, or o^ dying like a gentle-
man.

Lock. Those I see will 6t the captain better.
Take down the further pair. Do but examine
them, sir. Never was, better work; how gOk-
teelly they are made ! They wilt ut as easy m a
glove, and the nice<)t man in England m^ht not
be ashamed to wear them. — [He putt on the
chains^ — If I liad the best gentleman in the land
in my custody, I could not equip him more band*
eomely. And so, sir — I now leave yoa to your
private meditations.

[Exeunt Lockit, tumkeyt, and emuUMet

AIR. — Courtiert, courtiers, think it no harm.

Mac. Man may escape from rope and nin.
Nay. some have outliv«l tbe ooctor*'

pill;

Wbo takes a woman must be undone,

Thnt lMuili«k i» sure to till.

llie Qy that upa tri-uclc i> ttiat in the
iweets

So be that tmtu woman, wontan, wo-
man,

n<: tbHt tutes womnn, ruin meets.

To wfau n woerol plight have 1 brought mywir!
Here must I (all tiny lung till 1 tim hanced) he
cooKned to bear the reprouchcs of a wench, who
I«» her niin at my riiKir. I am in the custody
ol her fattier ; and, tu be ^un*, if Uv knows of the
nBUter, 1 shall hate a 6ae time on't betwixt thb
•od my execution. But I promised the weiirh
marria^ What signifies a proiiuM.* lt> n woman ?
Does not mao, in tuarrissc itself, promiite u hun-
dred thiols thftt he nercr means W perfunn ? L>n
all wr oin, women will belii^vc us; fur ihfry hiok
upuu a priHiiisc as an cxL-u!>e for following their
own iikdinttMns — But here conien Lucy, uiid I
get fnim her — would I were deal' I

Enter Lccy.

r

Lucy. Yda base roan, yrm ! llow can you lo>uk
IM to the face after whnt Imdi pa&t between ns?
!^ here, pcrndious wrclcli !■ How I um forced
to bcv alumt Uic load of iufiuiiy yoii have laid
opoQ me ! Ob, Machettih ! Thou hii''t rubticd
me of my luict — to sec thee lorturcJ, would
give mc pleasure.

AIR.^ — A latctif last to a /ritr came.

TliuA. when a good-huswife ve^ a mC
In her trap in the raunmig taken,
With ple-nsurc licr heart goci pit a pnt,
In reveiiei* fur liir io^a of boom;

, I'bcn fthr throws him

'. To the doc or c«t
Tu be worried, emitted, nnd shaken.

tc. Have yo« no b^iwels, no tendenM?ss ""y
Lucy ! to sec a bualmiid in tiicae eircuui>

/jvrv. A hu'tbntni !

Alac. In every rt^pect but tlie fonu; niid
thai, toy dear, Rmy be »iid over us at nny linic.
Friotds ^ould not insist upon cercmuiiie**. Fronn
a OMO of honour, his word is as ||[Ofiil b-s his
boed.

iMCff. '[i9 the pleasure of all vou fine men to
ansit the wonien you have miiu-ii.

AllL— 'TWifi vhen the tea was roaring.

Ilow tfftiel arc i)tc trailnra,
Who he anil jivrur in je^t ;
To cheat un^»rdc<l creatures
Of 1 irlue, fuui:, and n.-»t !

Mac. The vcnr first opportunity, my dear,
[have but patience) you shall hc'iuy wife, in
wbiitcver manner you please.

iMcif, Insinoalin^f monster \ And to yon think
1 know nothing of the atimr of Miss Polly PuttclK
um '—I could (ear thy eyes out !

Miic. Sure, I'lun^r you cannot be such a fuol
as to he jealous of Polly ? -

Lucy. Are you not married to her, you brute
you ?

Afflc. Married ! Very tjood t The wench gi»TS
it out only to vex thee, and to ruin me iti Uir
good opinion. Tis true, I f^o to the hou^c ; "l
dial with die Kirl; I ki^ her; I wy a itniu^nd
thiitft^ Ui lu:r (u<i all petitlciitrti do tliiit nimui no-
thing) to divert myself; and now the Silly jade
huili M'l it ahoiit ihm. 1 am marrieil I'l her, tu let
lue know vihtil she would bene Indeed, my
dear Lury, tJie^e violent pawttons may be of iu
cuoM'queiice to a woiuun in your condition.

J'Ucy. Cume, come, captain; lor all your assil-
nince. you know that Miss Polly hnth put it out
of your power to do me the justice you promibud
uie.

Afac. A jealous womnd believes every tbin'i;
her pntt!iion Augi^sts. To convince you of my
Nnocrity. if we CiUi find the onliiiury, 1 ahall have
no scrtiples uf makiiii! you my wife ; and I know
the coiiscuucocc of Imvin^ two at a time.

Lucy. rhflC you arc only to be haoged^ and to
gel rid of them botli,

Mac. I am ready, my door LucT, to gire yoa
sitinfartinn — if vou think there is any in inar-
riu^e. What con a man of honour say more f

Xury. So, tlicD, it seems you are not married
to Mm Polly?

Muc You know^ Lucy, tlie Rirl is prndi^iously
coiieeitcd : no inuti can say n ci^il tiling to her,
but (tike other tine Indies) her vanity makef> her
think he's her own forever and ever.

AIR. — The sun had Ivosed ha weary teamu

The fir*t lime nt llw lonkins glass

The mother sets her diiuuhier,

The imaEK>. Mrikes itiF ^iiiiliiig lasa

U ith wlf-lovi: ever after:

I'jtrh time -ihe loiikn, ?ihe, Amdor grown.

Thinks evi-ry rlurin uruws stmni^cr.

But alas, rain makl ! all eyes but your

own
Can »ee you are not younger.

When women ctiusider their owq beauties they
Mi-u all alike oiiniftsriniible in thrir deinaiidb, fur
ihe> expf-ct their luverft should like titciu u luoc
Its ibvy like Ibeuuetvcs.

M

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gay.

tuctf. Yonder i% my farher— Perfuq>» this vfny
^ jrc Djay liRht upon the ordinurr, who thvM try if

joti Kill be US lEuoi) ma your word fur 1 lone

lb be made fto liunest woamn. [ExeuHt.

MnUrPtkCBVH oh^Lockit, with an account-
bo«k.

Lock. In thia last affaiir, brother Peachunif we
•re agreed. You have conBPntcd to gu halves in
Mncheath t

Peach. We ifhall never fall out nhout nn eic^
cutinn. — But as tu that article, pray huw ftbuids
our la&t year's account ?

Lock. If you will nin your eye over it, you'll
fiiui 'ti) fair ntvA rlearly »<Qtcd.

Peach. ThiM long arrrar of the pnremment, is

I very hard upon us. Can It be cii»rcicd tliat we

•hould linng our acquaintance for iwihinc. when

[ Our btlterv will Imrdiy »av<; theirs, without Ix-iiig

Ipnid Cut it } Unle» the people in employtncnt.

pay better^ I promise them, fur the faiurc, I shall

let littHT rogues live besides iheir own.

l^ock. Perhnps brother, they nre afraid these
matter* may be carried too far. Wc are treated
loo by tlKTn with contempt, a» if our profeMion
\ irere not repumhlc.

Prach. In one respect indeed, our eroploynieni
may be reckoned disboneftt, becauKe, like p;rcat
•tatenmcn, wc eoooura};u tliOK who betray their
I friemls.

Lock. Such Innj^nKe, brother, any where else,
night turn to your prejudice. Learn to be more
piardcd, I beg you.

AlU. — Haai happy are we, 4'*'

VHicn you censure the mg^

B« cautious anrl joifjR,

Lfift the courtiLTa ti0ciidcd should be;

Ifyou tn«ntton vice or bribe,

Tis so pot to all the tribe,

Each crieft I1iat was levdl'd at me.

J*each. Here's poor Ned Clincher's name, I
ace : sure, brother liiH'kit, thrrc whs a little un-
fair prmcetliuc »" Ncd"& case; for he told mc, in
the ondeuiued hold, titat. for vidrte received,
yoti had pniioiwd him a sesMun or two lunger
without molestation.

1/jfk. Mr IVachum — this h (he first time my
boiumr was fier mlird in qiH'iiiton.

Priu-h. Bu^iiieu is ai an end — if once wc ace
dishnnoitmbly.

i.otk. Whn Bccuwf me ?

Peach. Vi»u Br*" wnnn, brother.

hoek. tie tltAt attacks mv hunoar. attacks my
fivetih'Hjd — And this usage — Sir — is nut to l>c
Lbi)me.

Prmrk. Since too proToke me to speak — I

must ifll vou roo, rhnt MrsCoaxer rhnrces you

7%itti drfrMwtin^ litr of her ttifnrnmttniHmuticy,

for ibc ujiptchcndiiig gf Curl-pated Ilu>>h. In-

deed, indeed, brother, we mast ponctusdiy pa^
our ipics, or wo shall have no intbrmation.

Ijjck. Is this laiiguaj^e to me, sirrah ! — who
have »v*d you from the gallows, tirrah ?

[CoUuring cock other.

Peach. If I am hanged, it shall be for riddit^
the world of an arrant nucaL

Lock. This hand shell do the office of the hal-
ter >ou devrve, mid throUle you — ^you dof; !

Peach. Brother, brother ! — we arc both in the
wrong— wc ^iaN be both losers in the dispute—
lor you kmiw, we liavc it in our power tn hang
each other. Yoo slioutd nut ba so paswonate.

Lock. Nor you so provoking.

Prach, lis our motnal interest — *ti« for the ii»>
tercnt of the world, wc should ajtre^^lf I lud
any thing, brother, to the prejudice of your dn*
racter, 1 aik pordoo.

lAtrk. Brother Penchum — I can forpre.a* well
us retcnt — Give mc your haml : suspicion doca
not become a friend.

Patch. I only meant to give you occasion tD
justify yourself. But I must now fctep home, for
I expect the gentleman about this snulT-box, tint
Filch niiiimed two nights ago in the Park. I ap-
pointed him at Oiis hour. [Knt.

Enter Lucy.

lAKk. Whence come you, hussr f

Lury. My tcara micht answer that question?

Lock. You have been wliim|>f-rmfE and fao-
dlii>g like a spaniel, over tlic Idiow tliat halli
abuM?d you.

Lucy. Oue can't help love ; one csn't cure it.
Ti.«. not iu my power to obey yuu, and hate him.

Leek. Learn to bear four hasbund's dcnili like
a rpiLsoniible woman : 'lis not the fnsltion nnW'S-
day<t so much ■& tu aifcct sorrow np<m tbe>e o^
castons. No woman would ever uuirrv, if tit*
had not the chance of mortality for a rcleaw.
Act like a womiui of nuiiit, luissy, and thank jour
faliicr fur wluu he is ouing.

AIR- — Of a nvbU race wa» Shenkin.

Lwcv. Is, then, his fate decreed, sir?
.'siidi a man ran I think ofqulitiug?
Wltcu tint wc met so moves nw yet.
Oh ! see how my heart is splittitig.

Jjock. Look ye, Lucy — there's no Mvin« him—
so [ ihink yno most even do like other widows--
huy yourself weeds, and be dieerful

AUt

You'll think, ere many days etmae.
This Kcniencc not severe;
I hunic your husband, child, 'tis tnic«
But witli him haoK your CW,
Twang (tangdillodce !

Gat.]

BRITISH DUAMA.

5t

I

like a good wir«, |^ nxMii ov«r yxnt djring hus-
buul 1 Uiai, cfaild^ is ynur dutv.— Consider, pt\,
you cmn't hare Uic nwn ond ific money too — 90
make joundf u cxty u you otn, by grttinf ult
yoa can from faim. [Erit.

Emter Macheitii.

Xiiry. ThoQ^ ihe ordiwiry was oat nf the
way tiMay, J hope, my dear, yoii nlil, apnn the
fine <mpoitaiuty. qoict my scrupli^t. Oh, sir, my
f«ther» hanl bean is nut to be •ofte tied, and I
UB in the utmost despair!

Mac. Bat if I could rruK a^mall Mim— would
not tw«iuy guinea!, think you, move liim '— CM'
ill ibe ar^aentft, in the n-ny of hu'^ineHi, tlic
penfoiutt ii the most prcvailine. — Your father's
peR|in«tes, for the escape or prisoners, must
anmiot to a cuosidenifjlc Hum io Uk> y( ar. yiu-
utj, well timed, ood properly applied, will do
•ny thing.

AlR. — Jjmdon ladies.

If yoD, at an u/Bcc, Milint ynnr due.
And wDold not hav« matters iicfjcctt--d,
\ou iDuat quicken the clerk « Itb the perquiaite,

too,
To do what his duty directed.
Or would you the trnwiii of a Indy prevent,
Slie, tnt\ has thii palpable fnitiui;:
The pan^tiisitr softens her into eniisent:
TfaM R>«Min with all is prerailing.

Imty. What lore or money can do, shall be
done ; for «U ny comfort depends upon youi-

EnttT POLLT.

IW^ ^Vllc^e is my dear husband ? — Wns n

ver intended for ttiift ntxk ! OI1, let im

• ray arm* about it, and throttle then with

! — Whydo« thou turn away from me? *Ta

r Polly— 6» thy wife !

Jf«c. Was erer socfa u oafortunatc mscal s»
lam*

Xarv. Was there ever locrh another villain !

PajJy. Oh, MflcSeiith ! was it for thii we part-
ed^ Isken! imprisined * tried! hanged! Cruel
r<4acx>on ! O stay with thee till death— 00 force
rinll U*t thy dear wife from lb<>c now. What
■NHM m» lo»e ?— not one kind word ! not out
bad look! Think what tby Polly sulfen to see
dm in tbui oondttiim !

AUt^-AU M the Dwraj, Stc

Jhrnti, wbcn the swallow, seeking prey,
*idBB die %fe»h is closely pent,
ir<taxnon. with hemunniftc lay,
*aiioui ' L- for the event ;

Hwch;. 1 n. all nround her skim |

*• W«*i» "-^ui iiwi (puur bird ?), her wnl'* with

■■L

I

Aftir. I must difown her [^«ide.]. Tite wencU
is distracted !

lu<y. Aro I then bilked of my virtueF Can I
IisTC no repamtionf Sure men mare bora to lie,
nod women to hclicre them ! Oh, villain, villain I

Paliy. Am X not thy wife ?— Thy ncclcct of
roe, thy averuoo to me, loo scvcrciy proves it, —
Ixx>k ou me — Tell ine, a.m I uot tliy wife i

Lucy. Perfidious «n:tch !

VoO\f. Barbarous hutibaji<l !

Lurjr. Hndtt ihou lieeu hanged five mootli*
ngo, 1 had bccu happy !

PoUtf. And I, too.— If yon hod been kind to
me till dentil, it would not have vexed mc — aud
that's no very unreasonable rcqiiPHt (tliough from
a wife), to a man who liath not above »eren or
eight du)-8 to live.

Lucy. Art il«m, then, mnrried lo onotbcr?
Ilast thoo two Hives monster?

Mae. If wonicnv' tongues can cease for an ao-
swer — Itear mc.

Litrtf. I won't. — Flesh and blood cannot bear
my uso^e.

-PtW/y. Shall I not claim my own ?— Jnslfco
bids me speak i

Allt — JLrotyou heard of afroGcaamr AV/j/^

Mae. Wan happy ronld I be witJi cither,
Were t'other dear charmer away \
But while ymi thtt* teaM* mc together,
To neither a word will I say,
But tol dc rol, Stc

PoUjf. Sore, my dear ! there ouglit to be some
preferenoe shewn to a wife; nt lea>t she may
claim tlie appeuronce of it, lie munt be distract- ^
cd with his misfortunes, or he could not use ma
thus.

iury. Oh, villain, vilhiin ! thoo ha*! deceiver!
mc ! I could c«eii inform ojiaiiiiit tlice with pleit- I
sure. Not a prude vt-ishes more iienrtily to liave
facts Bf^DSt her intimate acquaintance, than I
now wish to liavc fftrta BSniiiat thee. I would '
liave her satisfaction, and they stiould all out.

AfR.— fn'iA tro('

Pollv. Vm bubbled I

l.«fV. Fm bubbled!

PoOif. Uh, how I am troubled I

Lucu. Bamboozled luid bit !

Paihf. My distrcaaes ore doubled I

Lary. When you cumo to the tr«e> should th« j

hant^an refuse, I

Theftc finget-ft, witli pleasure, could fasten tlie

noose.
PoUy. I'm bubbled, &&

ilfoc Be pacified, my denr Lucy ! this is all ■ |
fftch of Polly's, to make mc despemte witli T(MI
in case I get olf. If I am hanged, she would taiq

U

^8

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gay.

have the crc'lit of being thought mj widow.

Kcnily, Polly, this is no time for a dispute of this
sort ; for wheiie%-cr you are talking of raarriage, I
ani (hiiikini; of himfpog.

PoUif, And hast thou the ]>cart to persist in dis-
on-ning mc }

Mnc. And hast thou the heart to persist in per-
suading mcthiitl am married? Why, Polty, dost
thuu seek to aii^irnvntc my misfortunes?

Lucy. Ucally, iMii^s Peaditim, you but expose
yourself: besides, 'tis ha>'barous iq yoi| to worry
ft gentleman in his circumstances.

AIR,

PoUif. Cease your funning,
Force or cunning.
Never shall my heart trepan :
All these sallies
Are but malice.
To seduce my constfint man.
Tis mobt certain.
By thdr flirting,
Women oft have envy shown :
Pleased to ruin
Ollicrs' wooinp,
Nc\'cr happy in their onn !

Pocenry, madam, methinkSr might teacli you to
lichavf: Yonrself «ith some reserve with thp bus-
hand, v\\iW his \%ife is present.

Jl/nr. But seriously, Polly, this is carrying the
jnkc a little too far.

l.ucif. If yoii arc determined, madam, to raise
a disturbance in the prison, I sliull be obliged to
send for the turnkey to shew you the door. I am
sorry, madam, you force me to be si> ill-bred.

Tolly. Give mc leave to tell you, madam, these
forward airs don't becontc you in the least, nia-
(liim ; and my duty, madam, obliges roe to stay
with my husband, madaii).

AIR. — Good-m^roWf gowp Joan,

Lucy. Why, how now, Madam Flirt ?
If you thus must chatter,
And arc f(>r flinging dirt,
Let's rr}- who test coo spattf r,

Madam Flirt !

Pofly. Why, how now, sauqr jade?
.Sure the wench is tij»y !
How can yoti sec me made FTo kirn.

The soiiff of such a gipsy ?
Saucy jade ! [To her.

Enter Peacuvv.

Peach. Where's my wench? Ah, hussy, hussy!
Come YOU home, yon stut ! and, nbcn your fel-
low \s hanged, hang yourself, to make your fami-
ly ttjniL amends.

PoUt/. Dear, dear father ! do pot tear ine from
him. 1 must speak ; I have more to say to hiqi.
Ob, twist thy fetters about me, that he may not
liaut mc from thee !

Pench. Sure all women arc alike ! if erer tbey
commit one folly, they arc sure to commit ai>-
otbcr, by cxpoiyng themselves. — Away ! not a
word qiorc ! — You are my prisooer now, hussy !

AIVL— Irish hovt.

Polly. No power on earth can e'er divide
The knot, that sacred love hath tied !
When parents draw against our raind,
Tiic true-love's knot they faster bind.
Ob, oh ray, oh Amborah — Oh, oh, &c.

yHolding Macbeath, Peacuum p^Ung
her. — Eseunt Peacsuh and Polly.

Afar. I am naturally compas^onate, wife, ao
tliat I could not use the wench as she deserved,
nhich niiide you at first sospect there wasiome-
thing in what she said.

Lucy. Indeed, my dear ! 1 was stnu^ely pu^
zled.

Mfic. If that had been the case, her father
wuuld never have brought me into thb dfcoiii-
stnncc — No, Lucy, 1 had rather die than be AJse
to (hec.

Lucy. How happy am I, if yna say this fran
your heart ! for I love thee so, that I could sooner
hear to see thee hanged, than in the arms of an-
other.

ilfar. But copldst thou bear to see pie hao^
ed?

Lucy. Oh, Machcath ! 1 can never live to see
that day.

Mac. You see, Lucy, in the account of lore,
you arc in my debt ; and you must now be con-
vinced, that I rather chuse to die, than be ano-
ther's. ]\Iake me, if possible, love tbee more,
and let me owe my life to tbce. If yoa refuie
to assist me, Pcadtum and your father will inh
mediately put mc beyond all means of escape.

Xttrj^. My father, I know, hath been dnnking
hard with the prisoners; and, 1 fancy, he is now
taking bis nap in his own room. If I can pn>
cure the keys, shall I go off witli thee, my dearl

Alac. If we arc together, 'twill be imposaUe
to lie concenk'il- As i>oon as the search begim
to be a little co«jl, I wilt send to tbee — till then,
my heart is thy prisoner.

Lucy, (.'ooio, then, my dear husband ! owe tby
life to me — and, though ypu lov^ me not — he

pratcful But that Polly runs iu my bead

strangely.

3/ffr. A moment of time may make os UDbt|h
py for ever.

A\lt,—The lau of Patios milL

Lucy. I, like the foi, shall grieve,
Whose mate hnth left her side.

GayJ

Rrtmsrt Mama.

Whom lhw^(l^ fhtra mom to eve,
Chua u*cr dit Couiitry w ide.
Where COD my torer biJi^

Where cheat the wnry pack?
It' loi'C be ii»t his gui<10i
Uc iMVcr nill cotnv back.

y0

[ Exeunt.

ACT III.

I

SCENE t—HragaU.

Enter JjithtT nnH I.UCT.

lufk. To be sure, wcncli, you mu)»r have been
aUinj aod iilx^ttini: lo Kelp liiiii I'j his yscHpc.

tMty. -Sir, here haili been I'cAchuni ami his
liaugbler PoIIy ; ami. to Iw sure, ificy tn'W tht-
waja of Ncueiie u* well n* if I'.py h:id hwn
Urm anrt bred in the pUicc oil ihcir livcfi. Why
DiuM ull jtjur 9U«piciim li^ht iipoD inc?

t/w-A:. Imcs, Lucy ! I ivitl hnve luiiie of the**
»brf?'- ".r».

/ , ihen — if I know any thing of hiiu,

1 HI .. 1 .>,», \je liiiriil!

LkIc, Keep your temper, liU^', or I shall pro-
bounce yoii Kuilly.

tMcy. Ke«p yftiir'4, iir F do wish 1 may be

burnt, I dn— Aud tiliAt can I wy mure to ojii-
TlBCe you?

Ijoek. Old be tip hflndsumely \ how much

did he cnmc doivnnilh? Come, (lufev, linn't
ctieat v>ur fntlicr, qnd I ^tlall ntx be nri;;ry with
TOO — IVrlinp* ym liarr made a beticr Iwirj^jiin
with him, than [ Could liti^e done — Qij^ much,
Bjy pmd triri ?

rjtry- Yufj know, tir, I am fond of lliin, And
toold Ivwc given luuney L(> Iiuk* kept hiio with

UK

£#rA. Ah, Lucy ! thy education mii>ht haro

Ct rlifte mtirr iipiin iliv ^unrd ; for a pirl, in tlic
rof lui nicliuuse, is nlwHyA liesc^ed.
£«r)r. Dear sir ! innitiiM) ixjt my cducaliun —
lor '(iv»« tu that ] owe luy ruin.

AIR. — IfUtt^M a WW/ pauiouf Ac.

Wbco ymine at lite hw you fir^t tauglit inc to
icore.
.Ind bid itie br free of my lips i^od no more,
1 nu ktMcd by the parabn, the Mjiiire, nud the

Mt;
Vhrni the RueW wos deported, tlie LUi was for-

mth» ktSB wfts so tweet, nnd so closely tte prcst,
1lM I Ungauhed nnd pined till I granted the resL

If na can fori;lTe mc, sir, I will oiabr u fulr
(vi^naicm : fur, to he sure, lie hat}i Lccn a miMt
*■**««(» riUatn Vi mr.

iMk. Ami M fou have let hiia esi-npc-, hu»sy !
IU«jw?
L«ry. Wlicn a wnmon lores, a kind look) a

'"^ - .,J, can prr^undi: her tO nny thing

<i Ksk no otliri- bribe.
,jj— •> llimi nilt always !« n rutf^ar ^lut ! —
ou wnuM not br luoknl u|Ntii ai a foul,
I never do

iii^ of interest: tliose that act otlicrwiic arc ihclr
own Uibblw-

Lucjf. B«u love, sir, is :i misfurtunf th»t may
tittpptii tit the most ili>crcL-t wiuunn ; and. in
lore, we are all fOols alike. — N'mwIiliAi-ftiiiliit:; :ill
lie wore, I am iiow fully niitrinccd thsit Poll/

Fcflclium ti acroall? hia ivitc. Did I Id him

escape (fotil that ] was!) to gii U* her? — Polly
will urhct:Jle lienrJt' into liK inmi^y, iiud then
EVactmm will \iAa^ him, and cheitt us both.

Lock. So I ain to be ruined, bi'iiiuitf, lnrd>iotll,
y»ii must to ill luve ?— A \ery pi-ftty Ptcuse •

Lmy. I ctmid murder thnC impttilirti b:ippy
■iiruihptit — 1 p*»e hiin his life, aiul ilmt crwiiurd
ctijoya the swi'cls of it — rngriiltful Muclttaill !

Ain-Smth .S<-« halla-K
My love i» all maincss and fully;
Atone [ lie.
Toss, luinhlc, and en-.
What a happv crcnlure is P^jly 1
Was t'cr sutii a wretch as I !
With rai;e I redden iile ^carlctf
Tliat niv ilcar Jucuiistanr viirlct.
Stark blind la my dianui,
Is lost ij tV iirins
Of thnt Jilt, that imclji:ll;)g luirlot !
St.tik blidd to uiy elioiinS
I» hint ill the anas
Of ittut jilt, tb;il iiik-eixlinp liarlnt !
TIlis, tilis iny rcscuaneni aLirius.

Zt)ck. And *o, nfter all litis misdiief. I musC
ttayhcre to be entertained with your caterwaul-
ing, Mi»tre<9S Pusi! Out of my suht

wanlOQ struitipet ! you shall fa^r nnd moi-tlfy
vnursclf into reason, with now niu! ihra a lidlu
liaudsome discipline In briiitf yon Vt your 9cuh>.
— — —Go! [Exithvcr.] Peic'uunllieii intends
I'j outwit nic io this alTdir ; but I'll ho ctpii with

him. — 'llie du^^ is Iraky in his liquor, so I'll

ply him that wnv, get tho ■«t'ci*t Inmi Imn, and

luro iliii nfiiiir to toy own adv;intn-2c.

Peiicbuin is my Coinpiu^iotj, my frioiid Ar-

cordiag to the custom of the world, indvu-J, lw>
hiay quote thnuHaads of prcccdL'tlt* lor chejitinii

mi:' nnd shall not [ louke um* of the pnvtlc^u

of friendship, to make Itiui a return?

AlK.—Packinftou*a pimnd, *
Tbiin, pimestcr* imiti-d in frieiiJahlfi are fnuntf,
Tliu'thcy kuuvn that tlteiriiidiMtry nlli^ [i client;
Tlicy flock to their prey at llic dioc-Utx'* <Hiund,
And Join to promote one unuthetS deceit :
Bui if hv iiii^hnu
They fail of a chap.
To keen in tticir hita

Go

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gay.

like pikes, lank with hnngcr, who miss of their

ends,
They bite their companions, and pre; on their

frieoda :

Now, Peachum, you and I, tike honest trades-
men) are to hare a fair trial, which of us two can

ovei^reach tlie other. — Lucy [Enter LucT.]

Are there any of Peachom's people now in the
house?

Lucy. Filch, sir, is drinking a quartern of
strong waters in the next room with Bluck Moll.

Lock. Bid him come to me. . [Exit Lvcy .

Enter Fitcn.

Why, boy, thou lookest as if thou wert half-star-
ved, like a sbotten herring. But, boy, can'bt thou
tell me where thy master is to be found i

Fiich. At his lock, sir, at The Crooked Billet.

Lock. Very well — I have nothing more with

Jou. [Exit riLcn.] TU go to him there, for 1 1
ave many important afiairs to settle with him,
and in the way of those transactions TU artfully
get into hb secret — so that Macheath shall not
remain a day loiter out of my clutches. [Exit.

SCENE It.— j1 gaming'houte.

Macheath m a fine tarniihed coatf Ben Budge,
Mat of the Mitit.

Afar. I am sony, gentlemen, the road was so
barren of money. When my friends are in dif-
ficulties, I am always glad, that my fortune can
be serviceable to them. {Give$ them money.]
You see, gentlemen, I am not a mere court-
friend, who professes every tbin^ and wiU do
nothing.

AlK^Umullero.

Hie modes of the court so common are grown,

Tliat a true friend can hardly be met ;

Friendship for interest is but n loan,

Which tlicy let out for what they can get :

Tis true, you find

Some friends so kind.

Who will give you good counsel tbemselves to

defend.
In sorrowful ditty
They promise, they pity,
But sliif^ you, for nuiney, from friend to friend.

But we, gentlemen, have still honour enough to
break Uirough the corruptions of the world —
and, while I can ser\'c you, you may command
me.

£en. Tt grieves my heart, that so generous a
man should be involved in such difficulties as ob-
lige liim to live with such ill company, and lierd
with gamesters.

Milt, ^fL the partiality of mankind ! — One

man may steal a horse, better than anotfacr look
over a licdge. — Of all medwnics, of all servile
handicraftsmen, a gamester is the vilest: bat yet,
as many of (he quiuity are of the profeanon, he
is admitted amongst the politest compaDy. I
wonder we are not more respected !

Mae. There will be de«> play to-ntght at
Marybone, and consequenuv, money may be
picked up upon the road. Meet ae there, and
111 give you the hint who is worth setting.

Mat. The feUow with a brown coot, with a
narrow gold binding I am told is never withoat
money.

Mac. What do you mean, Mat? Sure joowiU
not tliink of meddling with him ! he's a good bo-
uest kind of a fellow, and one of us.

Ben. To be sure, sir, we will pat oorselTes vo-
der your direction.

Mac. Have an eye upon the non^-Ienden —
A rouleau or two would prove a pretty aoct of
an expedition. I hate extortion.

Mat. Those rouleaus are very pretty tluogt ■
I hnte your bank-bills ; there is such a hazard in
putting them off.

Mac. There is a certwn man of dislinctiont
who, in his time, hath nicked me oat of a great
deal of the ready : he is m my cash, Beo 111
point him out to you this evenii^ and yon sfaoU
dVaw upon him for the debt — ^The company are
met ; I hear the dice-box in the otiier room ; to,
gentlemen, your servant Youll meet me at
Marybone ?

Mat, Upon honour. [Rremt.

SCENE m^pEACBVx's lock. A tuble, with
wine, brandyt pipff and tobacjc^

Enter Peachch, and Lockit.

Lock. The coronation-account, brother Peadf
um, is of so intricate a nature, that I beBeve it
will never be settled.

Peach. It consists, indeed, of a great rwnetj
of articles— It was worth to our people, in ftc*
of different kinds, above ten instalments. But.
brother, it is imposuble for us now to enter up*
on this affair — we should Imve tiie whole dt^
before us — Besides, the account of the last ball-
yenr's plate is in a book by itself, wbidi lies ai
the other office.

Lock. Bring us, then, more liquor — To^f
shall be for pleasure — to-morrow for busine»—
Ah, brother ! those daoghters of ours are tin>

slippery hussies Keep a watdifu) epi upon

Polly ; and Macheath, in a day or tW(^ shall beoitr
own again.*

AIR. — Down in the North eatntry.

Lock. What gudgeons are we men !
Every womwi's easy prey;
Tlinugh we have felt the book, ^ud
We lute, and they bctiay.

Gat]

BRITISH DKAMA.

(it

The bird that bath been trapt,
Wbrn lie hmn his cnllint^ tant^
To her he Hies ; of^n he's cbi|>C
Within the wir^ grate.

But wltat signifies c)Ucliin» tbn bird, if
^lUiigbter Ijjcy will set opca tlie door ot' the

UKk, U mea were Rnswerable for the foltics
Bad frultics of their wives and daughters, nu
fnends cxuild keep a {nod cormpondeuce tage-
tbcr for t<ra days — ^This u ookind or you, bru-
titer, for amooft good fneods, what die; say or do
goct for Dothing.

Enter FiLcu.

Fit Sir, here's Mrs Diana Trapes wants to
tpeak wttti Tou.

PakA. Sbali we admit bcr, brother Loclit i

LkM, By all means Jic'a a i^ood cu»-

tnncr* and a 6ne ipolien wotmut — uid a W'Tfutnii,
wbo drinks and talLk vj t'redjr, will enliven the
ouovcrsuioa,

PeacA. Desire licr to walk to. [Eiit Filch.

Enter Mas Trapes.

Mn Dye ! your senruit— one (nay know by
Liss thai ymr riii i* excellent.
\K*. 1 W4» jil*»-t»y« »ery curious in my H-
*faon.

Lxk. There is do {wrfiimefl breath like it — 1
ktfe been Ions aoquamted wiUi tlie flavour of
tbow lip*— hn'ut I, Mn D>cP

Tr*pt», Fill it UP— I take oa larae tlrnuglits of
lM|iP>r. ■• I did of love — 1 bale a Windier in ei-
iktr.

AIR- — A tkepkrrd kept ihtep, SfC.

la the tiays of my youth I could bill like a

dare, fa, ia, la, Ice.
tAe a kpaiTow nt alt times was ready for love,

fa. Is, la, tSic.
The life of all inortnU in kisutif! »lioultl pass.
Lip tu lip wliile Mt-'rr yout^ then the lip to

cbc glass, i'o, la, &ic.

BbC BOW, Mr Pcacliura, tn our business. If you
lwNe)ilarck.s of any kiod bruucbi in of Inte, nian-
tta* — «vlvrt !car/> — petticoats — let it t>e what it

Will 1 mn ytwr diap— for all my ladies are

nnr fond of mouniiii^-

t^fofh. Why look vc. Mrs Dye — too deal so
hard with tts^ that \ve can adurd tu pve dte gen>
tknes, wdo reecure their lives for the goods ht-
iki or Dotliini!,

Trapn. The hard timrs oblige me tn p» rerv
Mar tn my He.di(i)> — To be «ure, uf late wars, 1
We been a (treat solTi-TCr by the I'ariiament—
ikfM thAii*and poitndh noiilJ hiirdly make me
■■enli — Ttm tu't r>ir deirtroymg tlie Mint, was a
•nere cut upon wir buHnrss till cbcn, if a

ciutomer ntept out nf the wny-wr knetv wlicre
tu linvc her : No rf'xibt, vnti know Mrs Couri-
er— Tbere*s a weach now (till to-duy) n-ttd h e^khI
suit of clothct of mine upon her back, and [ ccmtJ
nwer set evea upon Iwr t"nr tlircc monthn toge-
ther, Since tl)0 act, too, ngainst impriwii-

Dieut for small sums, my loss tliere too hulli Ijeen
vcHr* cuiiHiilf;rable ; mid it must be so, witeti a
lady can burrow a handsome pcttiriiHt ur a clean
prun-n, and I iu>t luivp die lea^t bank upon her;
Olid of my cnii>iciei>cc, non'-it-dnys, intnt Indies
lake delight in clieatinj^ when Uicy cun do it
tvilh safety!

Peach. Mndnm, you had a hnndsome gold
watch of u& the other day fur i^vnn jruincns —

Ciinsidrring; we must linve our profit ^to w

gciitlcnion a|>nn the road a gold watch will be
scarce worth the tukiw.

Tfnpcs. Consider, Mr Pcacbum, that watcli
wns remarkable, nod i»t of very Kife sale. If
you have any black velvet satrfs — tlwv art- a
handsome wioter wear, and take with mint geiv-
tlrmcn, who deal with my customer*— ^—Ti*
I that put the ludiea upon a ^ind fmit: *liq nut
youth or bcautv that fi\ei their price; die gentle-
men alw:i_vs |)ay accunliog tn their drms, from
half-a-crown to two guineas, and yet thoise hussies
make luittiinji; itf i>ilking of me — Then, too, al-
lowing for accidents — I havo eleven line custo-
mers now down i)n<kr ihc mir^eon'ir liand

what with fees and other expenc*», there aro
great gutn^B-out and uo comiiig»-in, mid not a far-
thing to pay for ut letut n inunlb's cloathing —
We run great risks — great ri»k», indcefl.

pMch. As I remember, you said bomethiag
jurt now of Mrs Coanur.

Trapn. Yes, sir; tu be sure I stripped Iwr of
a suit uf my own clothes about two hours ago,
and have left her, ns slie should be, in lier sliifc,
with a lover of her's Qt my bousr. She called
liim up si.nin, ns he was goinn to Mnrybone in a
liucknev-cnucli — and, I hope, fur her own snka
arul mine, she will persuade Uie capcnin tu re-
deem her, for the captain is very generous to the
ladies.

Xoc/f. Wbitt captain^

Trapci. lie thought I did not know hiin — an
intimate acquaintnnce of yniir's, Mr Hcachum — •
anlv captain MBchcnth — us fine as a lord.

^eatk. Tu-moriow, dear Mn Dye! you sliall
set your own price upon any of the goods ym»

like We have at leail half a doien velvet

scarfs, and all at your service. Will you give
me leave to make you a present of this suit of
night-clothes for rour own wrarii^^ But are you
&urc it is captain Marhcath !

Trapes. Though he think* 1 have forgot him,
m4>ody kuows him better. I have tiikcu u gi-eat
deal of the captain'^ money in my time nt se-
cnnd'liand, for ho a)way<« loved to liove his bidie*i
well dressed.

Ptach. Mr LockJt and I have a Htilo business

:

Gii

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gav,

with the captain vou understand me? — and

WD will satisfy ynu for Mrs Coaxer's debt.

Lock. Depend upon tt we will deal like

men of honour.

'IVapes. I dun't inquire after your aflairs — so

whatever happens I wash my hand» on't It

haUi alwajrs been my raoxiro, that one friend

should assist another But, if you please,

1*11 take one of the scarfs home with me ; 'tis al-
wavs good to have something in hand.

[Exeunt.

SCENE lV,—Ncjrgbte.

EnterLvcK,
Lucy. Jealousy, rage, love, and fear, are at
once tearing me to pieces. How I am weather*
Watcn and shattered witli distresses !

AIR. — One evening hntng lost my way.

I'm like a skiff on the ocean tnst.

Now high, now low, with each billow home,

With her rudder broke, and her anchor lost,

Deserted and all forlorn :

While thus I lie rolling and tossing all night.

That Polly lies sporting on seas of delight I

Hevcnge, revenge, revenge.

Shall appease my restless sprite !

I have the ratsbane ready-

-l run no risk,

for I can lay tier death upon the gin, and so ma-
ny die of tliat naturally, that I shall never be

called in question But say I were to be hani^-

cd 1 never could be hanged for any

thing that would eivc me greater comfort than
the poisoning that slut.

Enter Filch.

Fikh. Madam, here's Miss Polly come to wait
apon you.

Lucy. Shew her in.

Enter Pollt.

Polly. Dear madam ! your servant. I hope
you will pardon my pasuou — when I was so hap-
py to see you last — I was so over-run with the
spleen, that I was perfectly out of myself; and
really when one hath the spleen, every thing is
to be excused by a friend.

AlR.^NoWf Roger, I'll tell thee, beeauie thmt
art my $on.

When a wife's in her pont

(As she is sometimt-s, no doubt)

The good husband, as meek as a Urab,

Her vapours to still

First gnmrs her her will,

And the quieting draught is a dram;

Pour man ! and tbc quieting draught is a dram.

-I w;i^ all our quarrels might have so
comfortable a reconciliation:

Polly, I have no excuse for my oAn behaviour,
madam, but my misfortunes— ^d really, ma-
dam, I suffer too upon your account.

iMcy. But, Miss Polly — in the way of friend-
^ip, ivill you give me leave to propose a glass oT
coraial to you r

Pally. Strong weterv are apt to give me tlw
head-ache. I hope, madam, you will excuse me,

Lucy. Not the greatest lady in the land could
have better in her closet Ibr her own private
drinking — Yon seem mighty low in spirits, my
dear!

Polly. I am sorry, madam, my health will not
allow tnc to accept of your nfler — I should nut
have left }'ou in tne ruoe manner X did, when we
met last, madam, had not my papa hauled me'
away so unexpectcdly-^l was, indeed, somewhat
provoked, and perhaps might use some expres-
sions, that were disrespecaul — but really, ma-
dam, the captain treated me with so much con-
tempt and cruelty, that I deserved your pity ra-
ther than your resentment.

Lucy. But since his escape, no doubt all mat-
ters are made up agnin — Ah, Polly ! Polly ! 'tis
I am the unhappy wife, and lie loves you, as if
you were only nis mistress.

Polly. Sure, mariam, you cannot think me so
happy as to be the object of your jealousy?— A
man is always afraid of a woman, who loves him
too well — so that I must expect to be oeglect-
ed and avoided.

iMcy. I'lien our cases, my dear Polly, are
exactly alike : both of u^ indeed, have been tuo
fond.

Polly.

Lury.

Polly.
Lucy.

Polly.
Lucy.

AlEL— 0, Beiiy Bell, ^c.

A curse attends that woroan*s lore,
Who always would be pleasing.
The [wrtncss of the billinfr dove,
Like tickling is but teasing.
What, then, in love can woman do?
If we grow foud, they shun us,
And when we fly them they pursue.
But leave us when they've won us.

Lucy. Jjove is so very whimsical in both seies,
that it is impossible to be lasting — but mv heart
is particular, and contradicts my own obserra-
tion.

Polly, But really, mistress Ijicy, by his Inst
behaviour, I think I ought to envy you — When I
was forced from him, he did not show the least
tenderness — but, perhaps, he bath a. heart not
capable of it.

AIR. — Would/ate to me Belinda give.

Among the men coquettes we find
Who cour^ by.turus, alt womankind.

ICat,]

BRITISH DRAMA.

Aad fB grant all their heftrtx desired,
Whcu the; are llattercd unci aduuriKL

Hiccoqocttia of bocb acxesare aclfloven, luid
Hat n a lore no other whatever can dispoucsci. —
1 fiaar, in; ilear Lucyt our husband is one of
tbooc.

£m^ Awajr witll tliCM uiL-lnnctmly rt:l1cctiims!
— ladBol, m; dear PoUjTt wc iirc both of iis n
rm tiM knr i kt mc pro oil ufwo you Ui wwpi

AlB. — CiMUt (vcv' 'at*

Conw, sweet lass !
X^rc't baui»li wmtdw
Tdi Kt-morrow ;
Come, sMcet litu !
Lets take a chirpirig gloss,
Wine can rltnr
Tht tapiMjr^ of despair,
And make u% tight as nir ;
Tbeo dhnkf and banifli caro,

] csm'i licar, diild, to iiee you in sacli lotv ftptritfi
■ad I auuA pcfhuadc you tu what [ kuow
anil do you guod I sikull now soon be even

««k tlie kypocriticnt kinimpci. I Jiu/e.] [KrU.
J^M^ All ibia vtbcvilUuji of Lucy can't be fur
nodBQiE — at thi!) time t>x>, wttett I know fiiui
hitea m* ! — The diMciublmg of n woraiui it id-
■^ dkc fufiTuniic/ of niibdiicf— By pouring
gOmig «raicr» du«n my llironl, sbe dunks to
pMip wiDe *ecrct» out of ine — I'll be upon my
jionlt aad kuo'c ta»tc a drop of Uer liquor, I'm
tcaciJveil.

£*lrr LcTT, iFi/jl Strang a-aferi.

Z»ry. ' •^■» Polly.

i'c^^. . lid, you hare given yourself

inwMr to uj purpose — V»u must, my dear, cx-

tmof. R«ally, Mi*i Polly, yoij are as B»]ueara-
tJlly affccwd 'idwut taking u cup of strong
wen, i' " 't*" ''-tore cnuipony. 1 row, Polly,
I ri»U U iryiJily ill, if you refuse me —

IliMily ^ ou^li women love Uicin never

w mvU) liiktn by u» with some rc~

IkImuoc- i^ in private.

P^tff. I pruicftL. Mndiini. it goes acninftt
BM — ^Wtuit il . \ •■(l\ Miicheaih n^in in
oi^i iiimcrinR nf Imppini'M it»

hu .'/'Lifiar iin the grvand.

JUuy' -Viux. Ui.n^i aie Uiui, I'ut i;lad dto
««ndi bath caniied ; for, by ihU event, 'tit plain
4e tt^ not happy euou^li to dcsertc tu be

>- Lonttr, M*cituTTi» and PtACDm.
ijxk. Set yoBT bewl at rest, captain Yoo

have neither die chane*' STTSi^or money for

another escape, for ynu are orden.'d tn be called
down ution your trial immediately.

Petxh. A^vay, hussies ! this is not a time for a
mnn to be hampered widi hliwifcs — you sec tlie
geiillcnmn is in chnin» already.

Imci/. O husband, husband ! my heart longed
to see tbcc, but to we thee Uius, <£*itnu:ts me .

Patltf. Will not wv dear butband look upon
his Pofly ? Why hadst tliou not flown to me for
protectitm > wiiJi mc thou hadat been safe.

A1 K.-~The last time I came o'er the moor.

Pittiif. Ilidtcr, dear husband ! turn your eyes,

Lucif. Ucstow one glance to cheer me.

PoOf/. Think wiUi diat took ifay Polly dies.

Imci/. U }>hun me nut, but hear mc.

Polh/. *ris Pully sues.

hfcv. 1'is l.ui-y speaks.

PuO^. U UiuH true love requited?

Lucy. My Itenri iti bnrstmg.

Ptti)i/. IMinc too brcaka.

Lucy. Must I,

PoOy. Must I be slighted ?

Mac. \VTiat would yott have mc say, ladies .' —
You i>ec this niTair will soon be at nn end, witli-
out ray disublipnn ciUier of you.

Peach. But the scttlii^ this point, captain.
mi^ prevent a luw-suit between your two
widows.

AIR.— Tom Ttakeri my true hve, Jfc.

Mac. Which way shall I turn roc f — how can I

(K'cido i
Wives, the day of onr death, are at fond as a

bride.
One wifp is too lauch for most hiislwnds to bear.
But t»'o ut a time there's no mortal cun bear,
This way, nitd thnt war, and wliich way I will,
Wliat KMiikt uiinftirl llic one, t' other wife would

inie lit.

Pallif. But if his own miefortuncs have made

him itiseo'iible u> mine a father, sure, will

be more coropaviiunatc l)enr, dtt»r sir!

■•ink the mutcrial evidence, and bring hiai off

at his trttti Polly, upon Iter knees, be^ it ol'

you.

AIIL — / am a poor lAepherd andoite.

WIk-h niv lH?rn in cnurt appears
And stand* nrraijcned fiT his lile,
llicii Utink of yniir Folly's lean*.
For, nh t poor Polly's Ins wife.
Like tite suitor he luitds up his baod,
Distrest un the do&luu^ nnte;
To die a dry death ut laud
Is as bad as a wat'ry grave.

64

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gay.

And alas, poor PoIIv !
Alack, and wcll-a-dny !
Before I was in love,
• Oh ! cv'ry month was May.

Lucy. If PcachD^l*^ heart ia hardened, sore
you, sir, will have more compassioD on a daugh-
ter 1 know the evidence is in yonr power

-How then can you be a ^rrant to me !

[Kneeiing.

AIR. — lantke the Icwfy, JSfC.

When he holds up his hand arraigned f<v his

life,
O, think of your dac^ter, and ^nk Tin his

wife!
What are cannons or bombs, or clashing of

swords:
For deatli is more certain by witnesses' words :
Then nail up their lips, that dread thunder

allay.
And each month of my life will hereafter be

May.

Lock. Macheath's time is come, Locy—— We
know oar own affurs ; therefore, let ds have no
more whimpering or whining.

AIR. — A cobler thert waSf ifc.

Ourselves, like the great, to secure a retreat,
When matters require it, must g^ve up our gang;
And good reason why,
Or instead of the fry.
Even Peachum and I,
Ukc poor petty rascals might hang, hai^
Like poor petty rascals might bang !

Peach. Set your heart at rest, Polly—your

husband is to die torday therefore, if you

arc not already provided, 'tis high time to look
about for another. Tliere's comfort for you, you
slut.

Lock. We are ready, sir, to conduct you to
Old Bailey.

ATR, — Bonny Dundee,

lilae. The charge is prepared, the lawyers are
met.
The judges all ranged (a terrible show !)
I go undismayed — for death is a debt,
A debt on demand — so take what I owe.
Then, farewell my love !— dear chnnners, adieu !
Contented I die — ^'tis the belter for you.
Here ends all dispute the rest of our lives.
For itiis way at once I please all my wives.

Now, gentlemen, I am ready to attend you.
[Ejeunt Peachch, Lockit, and Macheath.

Polfy. Follow them, Filch, to the court, and
when the trial is over, bring me a particular ac-
count of his behaviour, and of every thing that

happened Yooll 6nd me here witli Mim

Lucy. [EixU Filch.] But vriiy is all this mn-
sick?

Lucy. The prisoners, whose trials are pat off
till next sesson, are diverdnfj diemselTes.

PoUy. Sore there is nodung so diarmiiw as
music r Fm fond of it to distraction — But, was!
— now all mirth seems an insult upon my afflio
tion. — Let us retire, my dear Lacy ! and lodulgie
our sorrows — The noisy crew, you see, are com-
ing upon us. [£jrcMiif.

A dattee ofpriumen in ekaimtj ^

SCENE IV.— rA« etm^emned hold. Mao
BUTB m a meUmcMy pottmre.

AIR. — Happy grmei.

O cnid, cruel, cruel case f
Must I suBer this dis^ace f

AIR.— Of a// the girb that are to mart:

Of all the friends in time of grief.
When thrcat'oii^ Death loolka grimmer.
Not one so snre can bring nelia
At this best friend, s brimmer. [DruiJfci.

AIR.— BritoM ttrike home .'

Since I nrast swii^— I tcofni, I acorn to wince
or whine. TRi$et.

AflL—Chety eha$e.

But now i^n my surits sink,
I'll raise them high wiu wine.

[Drinkt a glau ffwine,

AIR.— To old Sir Simo* the king.

But valour the stronger grows
The stroT^cr liqDor we're drinking
And how can we feel our woes
When we liave lost the troaUe of dunkiu?

[i>r^

AIR.— Jay to great Ctfivr.

If thus — a man can die,
Moch bolder with brandy.

{Pours omt a hmqter ^ brandy.

AIR. — There wa$ an old woman, 4^

So I drink oflF this boroper— —and now I ctt
stand the test,

3

Gav.]

BRITISH DRAMA,

Aad my comrades ihall ee« ihat I die aa lirare
as the best [Drinks, j

Ant~2>itf JWM rwr hear of c galiant uti/or f

Bat con I leave my pr*itv huwies,
Wittwul one tear or tender stgh ?

AIR. — Why «re mint tyti ttiUfioKing f

Tbeir ejrci, thrir lips, their buiaes,
Rccal toy love— Ati ! tuu&i I die !

AIR. — (jreen Stttvet.

Since laws were mndc for every dejtrce,
T«> curb vu'f u» otliors. m well n* in iiic,
I M under wr liaVt belter cmopiuiy
Vpou Tylmrn tree !

Out K«>ld frmi law ciui tnlce out the sling.
And if rich incu tike u^ ii*'urc to nwini^
Tivould thin the land »uc)i numbers to string
Upou Tyburn tree !

JaU. Some frieudft of yours captain, deare to
bcadrailfied — Heave you togiiher.

[Erit Jailor,

£nter Ben Bi^ikie and Mat of the Mist.

\faf. For iDj liHting broke priuini vou see,
gcnileinen. 1 am ordf- red tor immediate exccutiitn
— ^Tbe iherifT* otfircr*, I believe, are now ar tlie

doof IhaX Jemmy Twilclier &houhl jteuch

aie, I uwn snrurised nic — 'Tit» a plain proof, that
the world is all otike, and that even our gan^; can
no more tru»t one another (htui other people;
duTftiirc, I beg yuu, i^utlcuiCOf loulc well to
yonnrlvet, fur. in lUl probability, you may live
•OiM nHMith* lonrer.

Mmt. We arc ftciu'tily sorry, captain, for y<)iir
■ufortunea — but 'lis whni we must all come to.

Mac. I'barhum and Ixx'kit, you know, are in-
&MHsa Kroutidrcls: thtir lives arc a» miit-b iii

JOBT power, as yours arc in ilirim Remember

jiMr dying friend "lift iny last request

BriiK thoie v'dlains to the gallows before you,
lad 1 atn Miisfied.

Jtfaf. We'll doV

Re-enttr Jailor.

JW. M«M PuUy oud Miss Lucy entreat a word
«ttk tou.
Afar. Gentlemen, adieu !
[CmmI Bck Bi DCE ditd Mat (^ the Mint.

^ter LucT and Pottr,

Mr. My dear Lucy ! my dear Polly ! whatsoever
■Uk pM between u», is now at an end — If you
VI fowl id* uuirrytiiu at.'uiu, ihc bcsi advice I can
IM »wu in, to »liip yourselves off for lite West
"^ where you'llh'ave a fair chance of geUing

VtulIL

a huslwuwl a-piece, or, by gorMl luclj, two or three,
as vnti lilvL- beat.

Polb/. How can I support lhi« sijcht !

Lttctf. There is nothing iootc^ one so much as
a great man in di^trm I

AIR.— il/Z^oa that mutt take a tea/t.

f.uiy. Wrinh! I m^hl he hanged !
I^oilt/. And 1 nould mi bio !
Lucy, lo be haik^d with von !
Poiiy. My dear, with vou f
Mac. i) leave me to (fKni}:hl ! I fear! I dooM !
[ tremble ! I druop ! — Se*", my coiin><;e is out !
[ 7*ur«( u^ the empty bottle.
Lucif. No token of luvc i
Polly. Adieu !
Luff, Farevtell !
Mac. But hark ! I hear the toll of \ht bell !

JaiL Four women more, captain, witli a diild
a-ptecc. Sec, here tliey come.

Enter IVomen aad ChUditn.

Mac. What ! four wives more !— tins is too
mucli — llcrc — tell the BbcritTs officers 1 am
ready. | Eieunt.

Enter BtocAH ant/ Playeb.

P/iry. But, iKWicfl fricod, I Iwipe you dont in-
tend that Maclicnth shnll tic really executed?

Hrg. Most certamlVf sir : to iiinkc the piece
perfect, I was for donii; Mrict poetical juBticc.
Xlaclicath is to he lian):cd : unil, fur the other
pern>iiA^cs of llic drama, the nudieoec must sup-
pose they were all ciihcr hanged or tnm»ported.
Play. Why ibcii, friend, this it> a downright
deep tragedy. The caloMtuphe ia uuiuifc^ly
wrong; for an opera must end happily.

Bcfi. Yonr objection is very |it*l, and is eanily
removed ; for you must ollow, ilial. in tltis kind of
drama, 'tis no matter how ah*iunlly things are
bniughi aliont : *o you rabble ilierc — run and
cry, A Reprieve ! — Let the prisoner be brought
bade (o his wives in iriumph.

Play. AIJ thill we must do to comply with the
taste of the town.

tteg. Thntugh the whole piece jou may ob-
«cnie such » similitude of manners in hi^h aud
low life, llmt it i& ditlicult tn delnrmmc whether,
iu the fiuhionnhlu vii-ts, the line i;ciitk'iiirii imi-
tate the srntlvnx-u of the roiul. or the uentleuien
nf the road the fine t:efitlcincu. llu<l the play
remained as I at lir^t intended, it would nB?e
cHrricd a most excellent moral; 'twould have
shewn, ttiut the lower sort of people liave their
vices in .i decree h^ well as (he ricli, aud tlukt
they arc punbhed far ihem.

€6

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gat.

^•tnter MacKEatb, witk rabbk, &c. bawUng
a Reprieve f

Mac. So, it seeniB, I am not left to m; choice,
but must have a wife at last-^Look ye, my
dears, we will have no concroTersj now. Let us
^ve this day to mirth, and I am sure ^le, who
thinks herself my wif*^ will testify her joy by a
dance.

AIL Come, a dance, a dance !

Mae, Ladies, I hope you will pre me leave
to present a partner to each of you ; and (if I
may without ofienoe) for this time 1 take Polly
for mine — aud for tfc, you slut, for we were
really married — As for the rest— But at present
^p your own secret. [To Polfy.

[Adrnmee,}

AIR. — lumps tf pudding, tfC.

Thus I stand, like a Tuik, with his doiies
around.
From all 'sides their elances his passion confoonj.
For black, brown, and fair, hisinoonstaDcy burm^
And the diffisrent beauties subdue him by turns.
Each calls forth her charms to provoke his de-
sires,
Though willing to all, with but (me be retires.
Then think of this maxim, and put off all somnr.
The wretch of to-day ma? be happj to-mnro*'.
Chona. Then think of this maitim, &c

[£reifi«t oames,

TBE

INTRIGUING CHAMBERMAID-

BT

FIELDING:

DRAMATIS PERSONS

MEN.

CSooDALL, fmtker to Valkhtiitk.
Valektine, attacked to C^MMJOm-i.
LoKD Puff.

Blcff, « drunken colonel,
OiKASTLE, intended for Charlotte.
Rakcit, tervant to CBAaLoxiE.
Slap, a bailiff'.

COBSTABLE.

Jobs, iervant fo Valehtihe. .
SEcrftiTT, « Hiurer.

WOMEN.

Mrs HtGHMAN, a widow.
Charlotte, niece to Mrs Highhav.
Lettice, the Intriguing CkiniU>ermaid.

Genttemanj LaiUOf Constables, Seroanis,t[t,

Scene^Lcmdon.

ACT L

SCENE I.— A street.

JSaler Mrs Highhan, puihing John out of
the door.

Mn High. BECOrrE, sirrah ! Out of my house,
Mr Lener<arner ! and if I ever catch you in it
■^n, your ean ^11 pay for your audacity.

Jokn. honi I ma'am, this is not a love-letter
fram my master to your nteoe, if the last was —
this is ooly from Mrs Letlice, to your ladyship's
woman, to invite her to our house this evening —
we are to have a rout.

Mrs High. A rout, indeed ! Td rout you all
n some tone, were 1 yoor mistress. But begone,
■mh : ru listen no longer to your impudence;
ind leli that saucy jade, Lettice, to send do more
d' her letters to my house.

John. Lord! ma'am, here she is — so, i^ you
please, you can tell ber jounelf. [Exit.

Enter Lettice.

Mrt High. Oh, Mrs Lettice, is it yoa? I am
extremely glad to see you — you are toe very^r-
son I would meet.

Suct. I am much at your service, madam.

Mrt High. Oh, madam, I know very well that;
and at every one's service, I dare swear^ that will
pay for it : but all the service, madam, that I
have for you, is to carry a messa|t': to your ma»-
ter — I desire, madam, that you would tell him
from me, that he is a very great villain, and that
I entreat him never more to come near my doors ;
for, if I finii him within them, I wiU tun my
niece out of tbem.

158

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FlELDlVCr.

Let. Trul}-, madam, you must send this by
another messenger : but, pray, what has my mas-
ter done to deserve it should be sent at all ?

Mri High. He has done nothing yet, I believe,
I thank Heaven and my own prudence ; but I
know what he wonld do.

Let. He would do nothii^; but what becomes
a gentleman, I am confident

Mrt High. Oh ! I dare swear, madam. Se-
ducing a youi^ ladv is acting like a very fine gen-
tleman ; but I shall keep my niece out of the
hands of such fine gentlemen.

Let. You wrong my master, madam, cruelly ;
I know his designs on your niece are honour-
able.

Mrs High. Hussy, I have another match for
her : she shall marry Mr Oldcastle.

Let. Oh ! then, I find it is you that have a dia-
honourable design on your niece?

Mrs High, How, saucinesa !

I^et. Yes, madam ; marrying a young lady,
who is in love with a young fellow, to an old one,
whom she hates, is the surest way to bring about
I know what, that can possibly be taken,

Mrs High. I can Ijear tbib no lunger. I would
advise you, madam, and your master both, to
keep from my housej or I shall take measures
you won't like. [Exit.

Let. I defy you ! We have the strongest party ;
and I warrant well get the better of you. But
here comes the young lady herself.

Enter Charlotte.

Char. So, Mrs Lettice !

Let. lis pity you had not come a little sooner,
madam : your good aunt is but just gone, and
bas lefl positive orders, that you should make
more frequent visits at our house.

Char. Indeed !

Let. Yes, ma'am ; for she has forbid my
master ever visiting at yours, and I know it
vriU be impossible for you to live without seeing
hifn.

Char. I assure you ! Do you think me so fond,
tbear

Let. Do I ! I know you are : you love nothing
else, think of nothing else all day ; and, if you
will confess the truth, I dare lay a wager, that
yen dream of nothing else all nighL

Clar. Then to alww you, madam, how welt
you know roe, the deuce take me if you arc not
u ther^!

1st. Ah! madam, to a woman practised in
lova, like me, there is no occasion for confession.
For my part, I don't want words to assure mc of
what the eyes t^Jj me. Oh ! if the lovers would
but console the eyes of tbeir mistresses, wc should
not have such o^iuDg, lai^uisfaing, and despairing,
a« w« have.

SONG.

Would lovers ever doubt tbeir ears,

(On Delia's vows relying)
The youth would often quit his fears,
And t-hange to smiles his Nghii^.
Your tongue may dieat,
And with deceit
Your softer wishes cover;
But, Oh ! your eyes
Know no di«gilise.
Nor ever dieat your lover.

What need he trust your words precise.

Your soft desires denying;
When, Oh \ he reads within your eyes
Your tender heart complymg.
Your tongue may cheat,
And with deceit
Your softer wishes cover ;
But, Oh ! vour eyes
Know no di^uise,
Nor ever cheat your lover.

Enter Valektine.

Val. My dearest Charlotte ! this is meetia|
my wishes indeed ! for I was comii^ to wait oo
you.

Let. It's verylucky that you do meet her here!
for her house is forbidden ground — you have sees
your last of that, Mrs Highman sweara.

Val. Ha ! not go where my dear Cbariotte bt
What danger could deter me f

Char. Nay, the danger is to be nune — I am to
be turned out of doors, if ever you are seen ii
them again.

Val. The apprehensions of your danger moaU,
indeed, put it to the severest proof: but why
will my dearest Charlotte continue in the houw
of one who threatens to turn her out of it ? Why
will she not know another home ; one where slw
would find a protector from every kind of dan-
ger?

Cfiar. How can you pretend to lore me, W
Icntine, and ask me that in our present desperate
circumstances ?

Let. Nay, nay, don't accuse him wrongfully:
I won't, iiifteed, insist tiiat he gives you any great
instance of his prudence by it ; bat, I'll swear it
is a very strong one of his love, and such an in-
stance, as, when a man has oiwe shewn, no wo-
man of any honesty, or honour, or gratitude, can
refuse him any longer. Fur iny part, if 1 bad
ever found a lover who had not wif^ed, maroe-
nary views upon my fortune, I should have bhi^
ried him, whatever he had been.

Char. Thy fortune !

Let. My fortune !— Yes, madam, my forkiaa.
I was worth fifty-six pounds before I put iuta

FfBLDIHC]

BRITISH DRAMA.

69

I

the Intten ; what it will be now 1 ciin't tell ; hut
you know soiacbodj tnuit get rite grcnt prize, nnd
why Qot 1 ?

FW. Oh, ChftriotU ! would vou (kmI tli« same
»eiiiiiocsn with me! for. bv llVavennI t *ppr»-
bt-od DO duif^r but tlmt of fofiiig yoti ; ami, bv
licre oie, love will sutBcieutly rcwanl ua fur all
the hazardt wc run on bis account.

Ltt. iliflt, hirt I f;et you both about your bu-
siocta; OlttcaBtifi i» jnH turned tlic aimer, and
if be BboaUl lee joa incether, you are undone.

iRmtnt VjkLZXTiKEdJuf CuAiti-OTTc] Now will
banirr tin* old ojvcomb xrerelv: for, 1 tluiik
i( u a oimi Jmperbneot thim; in tiwae old fellows
to interpose in young people's sporL

£«/cr Oldcastll.

OUL Hem, hem ! I prufcH it is a very aeTere
etKcrly wind, and if it wu not to Ke a tweet-
heart, 1 belKve I aliould tcarco Iwive itirrcd
abroad all dav.

Lef. Mr Oklcattle, your very humble servant.
Oid. Your very liurabic •errant, maditni : I
aalt yiwr pardon ; but 1 prolau I have not the ho-
nour of luwiwiag yun.

Xrf. Men itf ytiur 6cure, sir, are knnwn by
OMn) than they are tbrtnaelres able tii r<-Hicn^
bcr; I mm a poor liandinnid of a youiig liidy of
yovr acaaaiolance, Mi9» Chnrlotie Uitiliman.

Oid. i)h I your very humble servant, madam.
1 bope your lady » well ?

Let. Uum ! so, au : »he sent me, sir, of a
naU n>eMa|;e to you.
Oid. I atu the huppieitf man in the world !
Ltt. To desire a particular favtiur of ynu.
CMdL &ha boauurit ote with tier c*>nimaii<t«.
Ltt. She bcKL if yen havr the It-asf aflTection
fur her, rhat «he mnv nevrr see your face again.
OU. Whiit! wl»t?

S^et. She la o very well-bred, rivi!, cood-natured
hdy. and does not care to send x rude me»iuice ;
tbeiefore, only but» me tell v'mi, site liatc» yuu,
•Oora* yow. detcsta you marc tliiin any creature
opon the earth; that, if you arc resolvrd to marry,
ne vxfuld recommend you to a certain extrlleiit
dry ourw ; and lastly, shf bids mr tell you, in
thift onld weather, never to ^ to bed wilhfnit a
f;oad wmrm liracle-pOMet ; attd liy no nicaiia lie
aithuot, at lea^t. a pair of flannel waisicoois,
Md a doable daiinrl ni^lit-cap.
OU. Hold vour impcrliiicnt, ^aucy tongue !
i^l Nay, sir, dnit*t l>c an«;ry with me. I unly
drTiifr my mcaisage ; and llat, too, in as civd
aad concMe s muniter U5 jmwblL-.

Oj^ \..„t i.,l.or<-<s if. a pert young husiy; and
I thftll tt- 1 (--r of hci-.

Irfj. 1 v.i il.i; "lis I am your friend,

■■difwrciii. I'^nx litdu ofaritacles, I

dH^ dcMMur ■ '- v'Ki to her, yet

Old. VVhttt art; ilii>«t; •ibsiudcs^
j l^rt. WUy, Mr, tJH.re in, til Uic first place, your

k putt «ce ; joa are at leaK sevaoty-lire !

Old. It is m lie ! I mat jwreral' inooths of

it.

!>/. [f yna did not, I think wf may ^ei over
I liiH : inic linlf of Tour fortune makes a very mf*
(icifiut amcndu for your ape.

Oiii, We slutll a<il fall out about that.

/W. Well, iir; then there is, iu the second
plao?, vourterriblci unKicntccl air; tliin iaof^nd
ob5t;u:fe with Iter, who is dontinjriy ffmd uf uvery
Uuni; tliat is 6uc and fup|iish ; and, vet, I think,
we may net over rbl*, too, by the iillicr half of
yoyr fortune. — And now, tlwre remains bul ooc,
t«hidi, if yuu can titid any tiling to '^t-t aside, t
believe I mav promise you, you shall have Iht;
uod that is, sir, that horrible fate n( yours, which
it is impo)«ihle fur any one to see without being
fnghicivrd.

C'^. Ye impiulent baQ^afte ? HI tell your mi»*
tress I — I'll luive you turned off!

Ixt. That wtU be well repnying me, indeed,
for all the services i have duiw you.

Oid, Servicer !

Jxt. Services ! Ves, sir, services; nnd to let
you tee I think ynu fit for a husband, I'll have
vou ravM^lf! — Who can be more proper for *
husband, than a man of your afjef (or, I think
ynu could not have live con»cieiKC-, nay, the im-
pudence, to live above a year, or a year and Itnlf,
nt nios^t : and a good plcnt ful jointure would
make amends for one'b enduring you as lonj; as
I lint, pmvtdcd wc live in ncporato part» of the
house, and one had a pood liandsomc (^room of
the rhaml>er to attend one; thatigh, reallv, in my
upini'Hi, vou'd much belter mnnin Bini^ic, Irotn
f{>r vour character and constitution. [Extt Lr.T.

Oiii. fict alone, you damned saucy bac?i*CC •
I thought thi^ curbed efl<«lerly wind wuuld blow
(lie DO eood. — I'm resolved i won't sur out ni^aia
till it cnanges. [£^t'.

SCENE II.— A room im VA.LESfTiNE's Aovae.

Enter .}oK\ , mtefingVAi.r.sTtiiz.

John, ^r, a Kentlcmiui desires to see yotL
yai Sliew him iui [Brit Joaif.

Enter Slap.

Fat. Your most nl>edieiit servant, air ; I hare
not the honour of knowing you, sir.

Simp. I believe yuu do nut, Sir ; I ask pardopy
hni I have a small writ ot^ainst yuu.

yitt, A writ apiinit me !

Sfap. t)uii'L be uiicu^y, sir; it is only fur m
tritV, sir; ubout 2001.

t'aL What must I df>, wr ?

Siup. Oh, fcir ! whatever yon please ! only paj
the money, or airo >i«il ; which vi^i plenne.

t'td. I ran du neitliur of tlicni this in»iaiit, and
I expect cuuipmiy etcry niomeal. I tuppoAc, wr,
y.m'il take my word till to-morrow mnnuufl

S/uft. <Jli, yes, sir, willi all my henrt. [f too
i^ill be so good as to ftep to my house hard hy,

70

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Fielding.

jou shnll be extreme^ well uMd, und FU take
t joiir word,

!'«/. Your house ! *Sdeath ! yoa nucal.

iHap, N'ay, sir, 'tis in Tftio to bully.

Vtti* Ntjij diea—Wbo't there? — my servftDts!

Enter Servauif.

Here, kick this feUow down stain.

Slap. Thii iH A resrue, rmneriitker that — a res-
cue, sir. ni Iiarc my lord cliirf ju%tice'9 war*
rant. [ISlap uj'orted off' by the ttrxonti.

Enter Rakiit and Lf.ttice.

Rak*. YoM j>eroeivc, Mrs Letticu, the strength
•r my pasuon, by my rnx{uciit vtsju to yuu. I
saw Oldcaatle part Iruin vou jiut now; prayi
what bivi he Itccn ctitcrtainjng you with?

I^fet, With his pauiion for your yciunt; mistress,
or mther her ponion for him. I bave been bftn-
tcriitg him litl lie is in such a rairc lluu I actually
doubt wbetlier be will not bcut her ur uu.

Rake. Will you never leave off your frolics,
siiKe wt: mu»l pay fur iticiu i You have put liini
cut of buraour ; now will he go and put my Indy
out of humour; and, then, we may be all beaten
for augbt I know.

Let. Well, lirrah ! and do ynn think 1 had
ftOI rmther twii^ty Mirb as you lihnuld Iw IviitPii
to death, ihau my mubtcr should be robbed uf
his mi«treM ?

Hake. Your humble aervant, madam ; jou
oeetl a<>t take nay prcnt pnins to convince me of
your fondneu tor your master. I belic%'e he has
more miitrcsMn> than what are in our hnuw ; but,
kang il, I am too nulttt tn be ji-nlituB ; and if (le
ku dooe me the luvour with you, why, perhaps.
] may return it one dny with some body viae, 1
aiu not the lirst geiitleninii of the purt v-culuured
rti^itucut, who hua been CMza with hi^ oiasier.

Ixl. Why, indeed, ninster* and their im-n arc
often, bntb in dress and betmvimir, m rrrv liki',
that a vrnnian may be innuucutlf fal^e, and ini.^-
lake tite one for the nthor. Nay, I dou't kiiuu
nhetlier vich u rliange as you mentioa may nut
be iametimet fur tbo belter.

Rake. But, my dear Ijjttice, X do nut approve
of tbi3 match iu our family.

Let. yvhy so i

Rake, Why, you know how ileapcrate Valcn-
tioe'a circumstances are^ and abe luu so for-
tune.

J.rt. She hath, tndeetl, no fortune of her own;
but her uuBt tlighmau is vcnr rieb. And thmm,
you know, we've hopes eoow*! There is hopes of
my young roaster's KrowiojE better, for I niu sure
tbcie b no possitutity of his growing worse ;
hope^ of my old roaster's stayioH abrtwl ; hopn
of his lieinic dronned, if he attempts coimng
home ; lw>pc« of the stars falling

Rake. Dear Mrs Lettiee, do not jest with sudi
schous tiling lu buni^r and tbimt. Do yon real-
ly lliiuk that nil your master's entertainments arc
at nn end ?

l^t. So far from it, that lie is this day to fpre
a f(raud cuieitaiumcnt to your mistress, and
about n dozen more g;eutlemen and tadies.

Rake. My chops begin to water, I find Toar
muster is a very honest fellow ; and, it is puSMhIc,
may hold out two or three weeks longer.

het. You arc miMalen, Mr ; there will be ao
dan(:cr of bit t ivin^ any more entcrtninments; for
there is a certain gentleman, c»l)ed an upbol-
uercr, who, ihc motiiciit tliat ilic mmpaay ii
gone, is to make his entrance into the house^
furry every tliinie out on't.

Rak. A verj po«>d way, faith, of fumishi: _
houbc to receive a wife in I your master has wt
me a very y<H>d pattern against you amJ I sna^
ryififh Mrs Lettice.

Let. Snuce-box ! Do you thiak Til have youP

Rake. Unless I cnn provide betUr for mnelf.

Let. Well, that I am fond of thee, I am ctr-
tain; and what I am food of, I cao^ imagine,
unless it be tliy invincible impudence.

Hake. Why, fMtl^ 1 lliink I have tbc tnpK
deoce of a genilcmnn, and there is notfauigbeCBa'
to succeed with tiic liulics.

Let. Yes yt^ nod be hanged to you ! Ym
know the pi>wer you bti%c over us too well; aad,
though we arc thoroughly aiiiuninted with tdot
|'ul9elitH>d, yei we are^ nine lu teu of us, foob
enough to be caught.

ay IS

la^

ACT n.

SCENX L — A iqtiarrf with Vatcmst's houte.

Eater GoODAi.l. and scrnint^n-ith a partiuanttau.
Lcnit E riHirrt out W'fAr fioaie.

Good. Tuts curwd Mtifce'Cuarh from Ports-
mouth bnth fati):tied mc more ihun my vu\uKr
from the Ca|H.- ut* (riKHl ll<i^r; buU llr.iMii be
praised. I am uuce more iinivrd Mitliin M^lit uf
my own iliMirs. I oinnot help tbinkiuc how
plciucd my wm nill be iu k.c nte returned a full
yaw aouitcr than my intcution.

Let, He would be muck more pleased to hear
you were ftt liiL- Cape of (ioud Hope yet.

[Aiidt.

Good. I hope I shall find my poor boy at
boiiie- 1 ibirc nwear he will die with joy to m •
lue.

Let, I believe he is hulf drad already; bat^
now for you, my po«jd master. — [jlnde,}— I
nx ! Wliiit do I see i An appuitiua !

Cond. Lcltirc! _

Let. Is it my dc&r master, Goedall, rcttnntd^

I

Fjelding.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

71

or is it the devil in his shape> Is it yoa^ sir ? Is
it poiativcl? jwt vourbcir?

Goed. Ewea w. How do you do, Lctdce?

Let. Ifocb tX yoar honour's service. I nm
beartiJji gUd — it really luukes m« cry — to tee
your booovr id such good health. Why. ihe air
of the Indies hath agreed vouly with you. tr>-
^ced, lir, yoa ought to have staid a lit'tic longer
there, for the %akc of your health— I would to
the IJard tou had ! [Atide.

Gcod. Well; bat how does my son dor And
how hath he U^tared liiinaell' in my absence? 1
faope he hath takuD great care ut' my uffiiin ?

Jjit. I'll an«iser for him; he lutb put your af-
fain into a coudiiion that wiil surprise you.

Good. 1 narnuit you, he is every day in the
Allejr. Stocks have guM juit as I ium|>;iiied ;
and if be foll^^vcd my advice, be must have
ataaatcd a vast vim of root>ey.

Lit. Nut a farUiius, ur.

Good. Ilotr, hQw> bow !

IM. Sir, he bath paid it out as fast as it came

UL

Good. How!

Ltt, Put ii out, I mean, sir, to interest, t^) it»«
tcrcsL Sir, why, our hotisc hutli been n ntrrcci
fair ever since yuu went; people coiuing fur uio-
•ey erw7 l»>ur of ilie <tav.

Gwod. TUatS very well duuc; aiwl I lout; to
fee my dear boy. — \To LEmct.] — Knock at the
ooar.

Let. lie is not at ttomr, <tir ; and if you havty
mxh a Aieax^ lo see him — —

r

F L

£n/<rSBCoaiTY.

\

Ste. Your servant. Mrs Lettice.

Lit, Your BcrraDtf Mr Security. Uere*a a
ngam of a uanrer, who hatli found a proper time
to msk for his ntonev in ! [Aside

Her, Do von know. Mm Lettice, thnt I nin
weary of foilowion your uuiater, day aftur Jay,
in this mamier. witlmut rinding hiin ; and timt if
be doM not pny idc tiMhiy, 1 bliull sue out un
caecutiou directly. A thousand pounds are a
mm

Good. What, what? what's this I henr?

Let. m eiploio it to you by and hy, sir f

Good. Does my »ua owe you a thousand
pounds^

Set- Your wn, sir !

Good. Yes. fir : this young woman's master,
mtu U*tt at that bouse ; Mr Valentine Uoudall
it my Bon.

Sec. \es tu, be does ; and I am Tcry ^iad you
arc relumed lo pay it mc.

Good. There go two words, though, to that
Urnin.

i^t. I believe* sir. you will do it with a great
deal of ^oy, when you know that his owirtg this
■encj, t> purely an effect of his fftod conduct.

Good. Good conduct ! Owing money good con-
diKt E

r«/. Yes, Bf ; he hath bought a house at the
price of tvra thou*iand p«mud», which every unc
says is worth more than four; and this he oiuld
not hax'c done without burnnving this thuuitfiiid
piiund. I am sure, sir, I, and he, and Trusty,
ran all over the town to gci tlie luortey, thnt lie
mi^ht not lose so good a bargain. He'll pnv the
money fast enough, now. | A$ide.

Guitd. I am overjuycd at my sou's behaviour.
Sir^ yuu need give yuurbelf no pain abjut the
UMint'y : ri'turn to-morrow morning, and yuu
shall receive it.

Sec. Sir, your won] is sufhcient for a much
greater sum; tind I ant your tcry humble >er-
vaut. [£xii Sec.

Good. Well, but tell me a littJc — io wliat port
uf the town hath my son biHi{;lit thiii house?

Let. Ill what pan of the tuwii ?

Good. Yes; tocre arc, you know, some quar-
ters better than others- as, fur example, thia
here

J^t. Well, rckI it is in this that it standi.

Good. What, ootdu: |;rcat house, yonder, it
ili

Lot. No, no, no. Do you see that house yon-
der— where Ua: wiadow* oeem lo lave been jusc
cleaned i

Good. Yes.

Lei. It is not that — and, a little beyond, yoa
^ce aiintlter very large house, higher tliaii 'anjr
other in die square?

Good. I do.

Lei. But it is not that. Take particular no-
tice of the Itouse oppoisjbe to it ; a rcry haiidsoma
hoii«c, is it not?

Good. Yes; indeed it is.

Lei. That b pot the house. But you may sett
one with |;rcat gates before it, almost opposite
tu another that fronts a street; ut the end of
v>hicli iiaudi the house wtucb your sun bath
Uiuplit.

Good. There is no good houi>e in that strcetf
as 1 remember, bur Mrs UiKhnuui's.

Let. That's the very houM.

Good. That is a very good bai^o, indeed ;
hut how corner a woman iu her circumstance* to
sell her house?

Let. It in impowfale, sir, to account for peo-
ple's actinas ; besidea, poor dear, she it tntt of
her aeiwca.

Good. Out of Iter senses *

Let. Yes, sir ; her family hath taken out a
ciHumi^nn of lunncy B;;ainM. Iicr ; and her son,
who is a uiost Hbaiiduned prodigal, )uu sold all
she had fur half its vntuc.

Good. Son ! why «hc was not married wbcn I
went away; she could not have a M>n.

Let, O yes she could, wr — She's not nmrried,
Co bo sure; but to the great »ur|»ris« o( cvciy.

n

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FiBtotjia. '

■ ooc. nnrl to UrtfKat scandal of sll our sex, then'
BpiMiircd all of B sudden » very lusty youiig icl-
lutv, <>l' tbe af^ of three and twenty, wbiiiu she
onncHl to liAve been her wnt and that his iRtlicr
w» a itr«nadier to the dm r^tneat of guardf.

GtxMi Oh, tnuii*itjttu9 !

Let. Ah, air, if evtrv child in thii city knew
hit owo I'ailier, if childreti were to inherit only
llift e»talfii of those wtio he^t tlieni, it would
cau>e n i^reat cotifusion iii inhentHiice» !

Gooti. Well, but I >tund here talking too long ;
knock at the dtwr.

Ixt. What fthall I tlo? [Atiiie.

Good. Vou M-ciii in a consternation ; nv acci-
dent tiuth happened ut my son, I hope.

iy/. No, Mr, but

Good. Ilut ! but what? Hath any one robbed
me in my absence?

t^l. No, (ur ; mil abwjlutelv robbed vou, tir.
Whiii sball I Miv? " [JuJe.

Good. Kiplum ymir*elf : speak.

Let. Oh, wr ! ' I cntx withhnlrl my lear« no
loattep' Kntcr ni*l, I beseech you, iir, yoor
lH>ut>e — Sir, your dear house, that you and 1, and
my po«ir maMer Iov«d so much, within these aii
iuuii(K<<

Gooi^ v\ hat of my house within theae mx
iDondu

Ixt. llnd) bfrn liauntcd, sir, with the mokt
ternlile upiianuons that nerc ever heard or be-
hold ! you'd think the devil himsrtf Iwd taken
pDweMidn uf It : nay, t believe Ik- tiuth i^m) : all
the wiltl nniM's in the utuversc, the squeaking ul
pii;>i, (he eriiiiliiii^or kiii\es <l)i' ^vhetliit}: of •>>» s,
Um.- wlit-ttling of w'indis the ronruiu uf mmis. the
hootini{ of owls, the howliite ot wolvt-4. the hrav-
in); of anes, itie M|UHllin]4 nf eliildren, itcid ihi-
•t-nldili|; of wives, all put tofEcther, ninke nut so
ludcoufta concert. 'V\»s I niywlf have tieanil ;
nnv, and t hiive wen 9uch fn(;lit» ! one w iih nbuut
t«riuy hcad^ and ii hundred L-yci, und tuuutlu,
atKl Dutes in each.

Good. Heyday! tlie wench is mad! Stand
from before iJie door ! I'll »cc whether the devil
C&n keep me out from my own house. Haunted,
indeed f

Let. Sir, I have a fricndithip for you, and ^rou
■hall ttot Ko in.

Good. Mow? not j^o into luv own hini^P

Let. No, ur, not till the lirvil Ik driven ont
on't; there are twit priests at work upon him
now. Hark, I think the devils are dancing a Fan-
doneo. Nay, sir, you may listen yourself, aiid
get in too, if tou can.

Good. Ha : by all (hat's gracious, I hear n
Doise! [Lautt^tMg wifAin.] What monstrous
•quailing is thai?

hit. Why, sir. I am ffurphsed you ^outd think
I would impose upon you : had you known the
temHn we nndcrwenl for a whole fortniichL, espe-
cially po'ir r, nr, who lay every niRhi frightened
irith tbc ugbt of the most moiislruui lar)£c ihiuga \

id if any
daoi^H

there I lay as quiet as a Iamb, fcarinK crmij nu-
uutc what they would do to me- ■ ■ -

Good. Can all lliii lie true, or are vou impos-
ing on me f I luve indeed heard of such things
v» apparitions, on ju»c eauae*, and believe in
theni; but why they should haunt my houw, £
cun't imaitine.

Lit, Why, air, they tell me, before you bou^it
tlie hou^T there was a pt-dlur killed io it.

Good. A pedlar ! I Riu»t inquire into al) these
tilings. But, to the mean time, I must wod thi»
portmanteau to my son** new lioune.

/x-i. No, sir, tliat's a little improper Repre-
sent.

Good. What, is that house haunted ? Hath the
devil taken possession of that house, loo^

Ijft. So, sir : but Madam Highman bath not
yet quitted possession of it. 1 told you before,
i^ir, llmt <ilte WB4 out of her wnsea; and if any
one does but nientiuii tlic sate of her hnitw to'
it ihmws her into the most violent cmovuIi
GttwI. Well, well ; I shall know hunr
mour her mildness.

Lft. I wiih, sir, for a day or Isri _

Oiiod, Yon thruw tnc out of all manner of pa-
tience. 1 am rcMilved 1 will |p ihithcr ihu itH
M.iht.

Let. Here she !•< henetf ; but pray raoaaoiber
the Condition alie is in, and don't du any tiling I*
chagrin ber.

Enter Mas Higbhax.

Mn High. Wlmt do I see ! Mr OoodaU n-

(urneil *

Let. Ves inndam. it is him ; but, alas ! he's
iwit hiiii^tr — he's •'li'ilrnrttd ; his losses lu tit
voyage luivc inmed hiii hmin, and he is beoot
a riownrii-hr luimtiL-.

Mn ili^k. 1 am heanily concerned for Us
miifurtujie. HiKir gentleman I

Let. If he should speak to you by chance, bare
uo rct;ard to whnt he snvs; we ore eoiuf; to sbul
him Up in a tmidh"ii»c t^ith nil eipedititui.

Mrt High. [A.Mde.] He hath a strange waa-
derin); in his ountenance.

finttd. [Aiide..] How miaerably 4he n altCfcd!
She Imth a terrible look wiili her cvm.

Ulrs High. Mr OoiMlall, your very baiobtB
servant. 1 am i;lad to mx ynu returned^ though
1 am 9'>rry for your misfortune.

Goiid. 1 must ha^e p«tttnce, and tmst in Ho-
i-en, and in the power of titc prie^ta, who are omt
codeavoiirinK to lay thc^e wicked spirits, witk
which my hF>u!te h hnunted ; hut ^ve me )«*•
to ask you the caiiHt «f your phrenxy ; for 1
much question wtiether tliis commission of iuna^
that has been takcu out against you, beoolwkfr-
oul ^uthcicnt proof.

Mr% High. A C4)iouiis6ioD of lunacy agaioll
me ! me !

Good. Lottice, [ see she is worw tluui 1 no*
gincd.

J

FlKLDIXC.3

BRITISH DRAMA.

7a

Xd^. Sie M rer^ bnrl sow indeed.

Mrv Ui^A. Howt:f rr, il'jr'iu ore not mar* niis-
chiwoo* ihjii ;uu Hi |jre»mt mxui, I itiiuL. it t»
wr<j«i9 ill iIkoi Id citnf'iuc vou in • madhuusp.

0»ad. Coofinc roc ! hn. lu. ha ! 'llii^ j^ turn-
iuc t>» bii'Uk ttpoa mc in<ii-ril ! But, Mm liiefi-
niiK I mtuiil fiM (Mtta vnu bc^ uiica»y tfaM your
faoow i& »ld ; u lea&t, it b better fur yuu that
■Ijr wn tuuh biii^ht it thou wuilber; tor j*m
aMll b«Rwft apartment laii tuU, in the tamt
naniirr as ir' it was still your owdi and you witc
in T'«ir ft«:u*P9.

jtfri iii^A. Whatman this? As if 1 was «tilj
ianky wtM» ! lee mm tail v<>ii, Mr G\iodalL you
ava a fom, Ajifnciad wratch, nnH tuskt to bave
aa afrriBana ia a dark rmHii. anJ clcait »lraw.

Mai. Stnue timi cwiic tu thuL, ifuidani, I shall
■Dt Ivl yna tniuttiT (tiM)r«; iukI I jive yuu unurt-
ioc tu lake Mrt.»y tmnr tlittw fur I f^hnll liJl all
IM riHJUia will) ffjmh witiuii ibcw fvw tluv>.

Entrr ^tkt, Contttihfe, nnJ Atnsfnrtlt.

Sfa^ TliBf* lilt duiir, Mr (.'•>[isml>le.
i/t. What'nu ^* ilfjni" n'lw, I wonder?
Can. Oucn rbc iluor, in the king'* nntnr, or I
tfcal) lirvuk it opeo.

Gfod. W Ihi arc voa, sir. io tlie devil's name ?
aod what do vuu waat in thnt house f

Slap. %r, I Ua^e a pnsoncr there, antl I have
m? lunl chiL-r jii-inctS warrant acainst him.

Good. Fur ftliat suin, Mr? Are you a justice
'*'" r peace?

I am one of bis nmjcsty'4 oAicers, sir;
^ i ! Arrested one Xlr V ulentine GoikI-
all. in this h.msc» for two hmiHrtd

ivu , nil M.-rvaiia have rcsciictl luiu, and I
loilee'* warrant tor the nseae.
What do I hear* But hai-k'c, friend,
that houae timt ymi an* ^niui; i') brciik opL'u, t»
haaated: and there is ni one in it but a couple
of pricstai wlw are layiiiK the dcvit.

Slap. I warrant yoti 1 lay the deiil bellcr than
«U die prieft* in Eunipe. Come-, Mr Coostalile,
Ao your ofllce, 1 bnvp nn time to lose, sir; I have
■eteral ottier writs t<t execute befortf ni^ht.

htt. I have ilel'ctidcd my |>a<a a» luin* ii» 1 i:aii,
ind xtom I tfatnb it is no cowardice to steal off.

[Exit.
Kmtrr Coto»ti. Bi rrr, and Lo&o Ptf p.
t'lii What, III the doil'^ name, is the meaning
of tins riot ' Whiil is the rt'iisau, H-i)ijn(irel», tlint
rw dara dt«turh gcntlrtticn, who arc gMtiiig at
ir^mk Rc Innlf f
Skn StT, *»r ha*P anthnrity fi>r whnt we Hn.
frt/. Damn yuui- authority, sir! ii" yon d<in't
l^about your business, I »hnll shcvi you my au-
ftonty, and »fnd vou n!l to the Hf^-i'.

Sti^ $ir, I de«irc ymi wituld tire uft leave ta
•frtbr hniite, titid w-i/e our priwMier.
C<i'. Nf>t I, upon my honour, sir.
9imf. If fou uppoMi us lUiv ioTigtr. I shall nro-

Ptdtufqfi,.

CoL If you love force, I'll sliew yon the way,
you iln£s ! [('oLONEi. tlnvfi t.hem tiff.

Oowi. 1 fiad I am <u>tnu;Cvd; I nm '•inrk ni-
villi! nind. ] am unduiw, roiocit, chcnttrd. intp«»-
wd ott \ bat, pJauc lleaveii, I'll go sec «bui*b iu
luy hnu^e.

CV>/. UoM, sir, yoo tutiM not enter liera !

ii9uH. Not enter inirj my onn ituuM, sir !

VitL \o, lur, if it be yours you uuM not eaaa
wiiliMi it.

iiiKxi. Gentlrniea, I otUy beg Iu vfcvie. witli
tiie luiLsier of the house.

Vol. Sir, the master of the house tIeaireB to
sptriik witii no sndi fellows as you nre ; you itre
lint lit cuiupauy for uny oi the t^ttletnea ia this
lu>u«c.

Good. Sir, the matter of tliis bouse » voy win.

Voi. Sir, your most obedient luimhte tenant;
[ Din iivcrjiiyeil tu kcc- )-oa rctuniL-d. (iiio mm
leave. Mr, tu iutroduee yuu. to lh» gcutltiitau.

Good^ Saif yuur aiust ubrihent bumble aei^

r;iiiL

Cot. Give mc leave to tell you. air, you bava
th« honnrir of beinii; father m utie uf the Anett
gMitltiiien of the wpe : a man *n aoromnli^hed,
so well-bred, and su t:cncfoiis, that 1 tiehcve hu
never would part with a vue^ while he had a
shilling in his pctcket, nor, indeed, while be could
borrow one.

Good. 1 believe it, indeed, sir; therefore, you
eau't wander if I am impatient to *»ee him.

CW. iJe nut in Mich h;L>Tr, dear sir; 1 waot la
talk with youabiHit yuur lUlairsi 1 hope yuu liave
liiui ^0(xI success in the Indies^ have chealod iIks
cuiapaiiy haDdsoinely, and ma^ tax iauneoiM fur-

Da?

Gotid. 1 have ro reason to coniptain.

Voi. I am shukun*t — fiivc me viMir hand, sir;
and htt wiit your Min, I dure sneur; mid let toe
lell yuu, it «iU be very opportune ; he hr^aii Io
want It. V'>\i can't imnsiiie, sir, whnt a fine Ufe
he has ltd wnre yuu went Mway — it wcinlH do
your Iieart ^'(mkI if yoo wits' hut u> know wlini an
e<fuipoi;e be bus kept; whnt balU and entertain-
ments Ite has made; be '\% the Dilk of the whole
town, Mr; h man would work with nlcRsuir fur
Mich a MMi ; he is ft fc^luw with a soul, damu mc!
Your Ibrtiice won't be thrown away uuoa biio;
fur, cet Its niuf-li usyoa plea»e, my lifev be spends
cverv farthing; .'

G'<«d. Prav. centleroctt, let nw see this nura-
cle 411' u sou of mint-.

i'.iti. Ttutt you sliould. sir, luni* ago ; Iml, rtaU
ly, Mr, the house is a littJe out of order :it pre*
sent ; ihrrr \s but one room f'uniiahv<( in tt. and
thati« HO full of eouipuuv, tJiat 1 »ni afraid titeva
woidd bo n siiinll dcifcicncy of chiiii^. Yoa
can't imnfiiae, sir, li'}w .>pportuttc yon are ctimc;
i)ierf> wan not uny one tiling; left Iu llie Imhisc to
rnist- niiy money upon.

Good. Wttat, all my pirtiirr^ i^one?

Co/. Ho sold (hem tir^t, »ir; la: wax obliged

■ to 3(11 ibcm for the deliatcyof his tni»te: be
PocrtsiDly i% ilu) tno(le<iteftt toung fellnw ia the
'world, and lin» cuniptoiiieJ to me a hundivd

times, drunk and sober

GoimI. Drunk, «r ! what, docs my stw gel
dnink?

Col. Oh, yes, nr; repuUrly, twice n day. He
hm cninplniii«d of (he indnreat liberlv painCm
tale id t?iipoMii^ the brcasu and Limbs of wo-
men ; you had. indeed, 5ir, a very scandnlnos col-
lection, Hnd he iras never easy nhilu tJicy were
in the house.

Knter VAtrsrixE.

VaL Mv fatlirr returned ! uh, let nic tlirovr
rayselfutliU feci! and believe idc, sir, I am at
once uve^uyeil, and ashamed, lu wc your face.

Co/. 1 told you, tir, he wati one ot' tlic oiodest-
est voung fellows in Knicland.

Oood. You may rery well be ashamed ; but
eomi', let aif. 6e« the inMde of my Iuhju ; let me
»cc tliat both &idt'3 nf my walU arc standing.

Fa/, Sir, 1 have n great deal of company with-
in, uf the Hr^L fasliion, and beg you would ool
•ipoM mc before them.

GvotL Oh, sir ! I am their rery hiimbln srr-
vant; I am infinitely ohlii^ to ail the penons
of fnAhion, that they will 50 ^cncrou^y con-
descend to cat a poor citizen out of hoiiie and
bomo.

Cut Hark'c, \'^i sliall we tosa tliis old fel-
low in a blanket?

VaL Sir, I trust in your good nHturc wmI for-
pTennets; and will wait un you in.

ChaL Ob, thut crer 1 »bouid live 10 sec this
dl^l [Ertunt.

SCENE ll^-A dinmg room.

Lord Titf, and uvtral gentlemen and ladies
diiiovercd at laUc

Ruler Gouoall and Valcntisc

Val. GcntlciiKp, my father Itciii^EJust arrived
froio the Indies, dc^rca to make one of this guod
company.

Good. hl\ good lords, (that I may a0ront none
by cnlliii^ Kim bencaih bis title) I am highly
•MMihle uf the gTfat honour you dif my!-clf and
my MO, by liilin^ my poor houM! with your noble
persons, and your noble periona with my poor
wine and pnivisiomk.

Jutrii Puff. Sir ! Rnt mc I 1 would hare you
kmiw, I dunk I Hi» ynii t<vi murh honour in rn-
li'rins into >oin- d4Mir«. Hut [ mn Kind )oii luive
rimglit mc^ut wluit diiuuitx to keep kuch inedta-

[KXELDIIIG.

nics for the future. Come, ecntlcracn, let iis to
die opera. I we if a man tuiih m>c ^ood bl'wd
in hi^ veins riches won't icacb hiiu tu behave
liks a gentleman.

fEril Ixian Prr>.
• Good. *Sbodlikin!t ! I am in a m^c! That ever
a fellow should upbraid me with eond blcx>d in
hib vc)n<i, whrn, od^heart ! the best blood in hi*
v^ns both run through my bottles. Cotnc, sir*
follow your cumpaniuns; for 1 am dctcrmiosd
to turn you out directly.

JSnCcr Crablotte.

CAar. Then, sir,! a<ndcteniiinedto^ with

Be comforted, Vulcntnic ; I have some fortune

which mv aunt cannot preveol me from, and it

will ntake us happy, for n nliile al least; and I

ftrefer a year, a nitnitlt, a day, with the luao t
Dvc, to a whole stupid ngc without him.

[Wf Vai.cntime and {.'u Aft UiTTS. are go-
ing, tkry are met by Mus Utouuiv
and LcTTiCE.
Mrs High. NVhnt do I see ! my niece in the
very arms uf her betrayer !

Let. I huiubly a«k pnrdon of you both — bet
my master wab so heartily in love with your
niece, and she so lirarlily m love with uiy mai-
ler, that I wait detennincd to leave no stone ub
turned to brintf tlu-m to£;ether.

Good. F.h ! K^ad, I like her (rcnerous
for my bun so much, tlint if yon, madam,
eive her a furtuoc equal to what 1 ^liall settle on
liini, I shall nut ptL-vcut their happino^.

Mrs High. W im't you ? Then I shall do all
in ttiy power to moke it a mutch.

JjTt. And io, »ir, you take 00 notice of poor
Letiicef but, statesman like, your own turn »e^
vcd, forget your frienda?

StJNG.

Ijct. That stntCMitcn oft* their friends for^

Thrir ends obtained, is clears sir;

&u, Tm foTEOt, ytiur place Fll quit,

.And seek a service here, kir.

ri! prove my love in every sense,

\\v. dutiful, olncrvRnl,
So drop in here a few nights hence,

Aiid hire vour bumble serrtuiL

Shf'll prove brr love in crery hnm».

Be dutiful, ohservant.
So dmp in here a few niehti bcBOC^

And hire yuur liumblc si'rvant.
[ Kxeunt i

line UB>
m, v^^

THE

MOCK DOCTOR.

BT

FIELDING.

CRAMATIS PERSONiE.

Men.

GkegAkt, the M<ick Doctor.

SiK jAwrtm,fatker to CbaKlotte.

Lux DEE, attached to Charlotte.

j^jjj. ' 5 Servant$ to SiE Jasfek^

Datt.

Docraii Hellebore.

WOMEM.
Charlotte, attMhed to Leardes.
Dorcas, wife to Grbcort.

Scent-^the Country.

ACT i.

SCENE J.—A wood.

Dorcas, Gregory.

Gre. I TELt. you, No, I won't caniplT; and it
* »j biuuieM to talk, and to command.

por. And I tell you. You shall conform to niv
^ ; an^ that I was not married to you, to su^-
'cryoar ilMmroours.

vrt. O tbe intolerable fatigue of matrimony !
AnitoUc nerer said a better thing in his life,
tWi vhra be toid us, * That a wife was worse
tbiaadml/

Oor. Hear the learned gentleman with hi»
Ahitotlel
Greg. And a teamed man I am, too : find me

*Mtaiiaker of faggots that's able, like myself, to

I^Mn upon things, or that can boast such an

"wwion as mine.
^. Aq education I

Gre. Ay, hussy, a regular educadon : fint at
the duirity-school, where I learnt to read ; then
I waited on a gentleman at Oxford, where I
teamt — rtty near as much as my master*; front
whence I attended a travelling phyucian six years,
under the facetious denomination of a Merry
Andrew, where 1 learnt physic.

Dor. O that thou had'st followed him still 1
Cursed t^ the hour, wherein I answered the par-
son, I will.

Gre. And cursed be the parson that asked thee
the question !

Dor. You have reason to complain of bim in-
Heed — who oi^ht to be on your knees every mo-
ment, returning thanks to Heaven, for that greac
blessing it sent you, when it sent you myself. — I
nope you have not the assurance to think you
He»erv'd such a wife as me ?

Grt. No, really, 1 don't think I do.

I

76

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FlKLDlNO.

Dorcas nngi.

When a Iftdy, like me, condescends to agree.

To let such n jncknnapcs taste her.
With what zcul and care, slmu'd he worship the
fair,
Who gives him what's meat for his master i
His actions should still
Attend on her will : —
Hear, sirrah, and take it for warning ;
Tu her he should be
Each night on his knee.
And so be should be on each morning.

Gre. Meat for my master ! you were meat
for YOur master, if I an't mistaken. Come, come,
Madam, it was a lucky day for you, when you
found me out

Dor. Lucky, indeed ! a fellow, who eats ei'ery
thiii^ I have !

Gre. That happens to be a mistake, for I drink
some part on'L

Dor. That has not even left me a bed to lie
on !

Gre. Youll rise the earlier.

Dor. And who, from momii^ till nigbt, is
eternally in on alehouse !

Gre. It's genteel ; .the squire docs the same.

Dor Pray, sir, what are you wiltii^ I ^all do
with my family ?

Gre. Whatever you please.

Dor. My four tittle children, iliat arc continu-
ally crying for bread ?

Gre. Give *cm a rod ! best core in the world
for crying children.

Dor. And do you imagine, sot —

Gre. iiark ye, my dear, you know my tetter
is not over and above passive, and that my ann
is extremely active.

Dor. I laugh at your threats, poor, beggarly,
insolent fellow !

Gre. Soft object of my wishing eyes, I shall
play with your pretty ears.

Dor. Touch me if you dare, you iosoleBC, ia»>
pudent, dirty, laty, rmcdly

Gre. Oh,'ho, iio ! you will hsvc it then, I ftid.

[Beat* her.

Dur. O mnTder, monler !

Enter Squire Robebt.

Rob. What's the matter bere ? Fy Upon 3^0,
fy upon you, neighbour, to beat your wire iii lbs
scandalous maoiier \

Dor, Well, sir, and if I have a miod to be
beat, and what then ?

Hob. O dear, madam, I g^-e my oonseut widi
all my heart aud soul.

7>or. What's that to yon, saucdm i it h any
busioess of yourk? ■

Rob. No, certiiinlv, madam !

Dor. Here's an impertinent fellow for you,
won't suffer a husband to beat his owa wife !

AXR^Winchetter Wedding.

Go thrash your own rib, sir, at home.

Nor thus interfere with our strife;
May cuckoldom still be his doom,

Who strives to part husband and wife !
Suppose I've a mind be should drub.

Whose bones are they, sir, he's to lick.'
At whose expence is it, ^ou scrub ?

You are not to find him a stick.

Rob. Nejnhbour, I ask your pardon heartily;
here, take and thrash your wife ; beat her as yoa
ought to do.

Gre. No, sir, I won't beat her.

Rob. O sir, that's another thing.

Gre. I'll beat her when 1 please, and will not
beat her when I do not please, ^e is my wife,
and not yours.

Rob. Certainly.

Dor. Give me the stick, dear husband.

Rub. Weil, if ever I nuempt to part husband
and wife again, may I be beaten myself!

[Exit Rob.

Gre. Come, m^ dear, let us be friends.

Dor. What, alter beating me so ?

Gre. Twas but in jest

Dor. I desire you will cradc your Jests sb
your own bones, not on mine.

Gre. Pshaw ! you know you and I are nae,
and I beat one half uf myself when I beat yoo.

Dor. Yes, but for the future I desire joa will
beat the other half of yourself.

Gre. Come, my pretty dear, I ask pardon;
Vm sorry for't.

Dor. For once I pardon you — but joa shtU
pay for it. [AiiJe.

Gre. Psha ! psha ! child, these are only little
affairs, necessary in friendship ; four or fin
good blows witli a cu(^l between your wj
fond couples, only tend to hei^ten the afto
tions. I'll now to the wood, and I prunise tfaeelo
make a hundred faggots before 1 come hnM
again. [E«t.

Dor. If I am not revenged on those blotn of
yours \-~Oh, that I could but think vt sane Me-
thod to be revenged oa him I Uaus. Cbs wif^
he's quite insennble «f cuckoldon !

AIR. — 0/1 London is a fate tow*.

In andent davs, I've heard, m'lA htrns

The vt'ife her spouse could Aiifhc,
Which now the hero bravely scorns,

So common is the si^i^
To city, country, camp, or court.

Or whcresoc'-er be go.
No horned bn>tbcr dares mate apot;

They're cuckolds all »-row.

Oh that I could lind out some iDTCation tt p^
him well drabbcd !

flELDINe.l

BRITISH DRAMA.

77

I

Enter HiBnT tnd'3A*v^.

Hmr. Were ever two fooU font on such a me9-
mi^ u we Hc. in 4)ae»t of • dumb dcctor !

/jMln BlaiB* your owo ouri^tl nxtmnry, UtHl
nuiHe YOU foresee his oame. For m\ }i«ri, I'll
tnkteltJiRMigli tlw world ratlter thait rctum
without him ; lliat were as much as a limb or
two n'crv worth.

Har Was tter *ucli n runird mMJbrturvc, to
loar Uie letter ! 1 ^houlil unt even know hn
uantc it' I nt-rr lo tirnr it.

Dmr. (ail I liml uu inwQiiod to be reveiigeU !
— 'Heyda^F f whu are ihc^ i

JwMS. Hark ye*ni»UT^ du v<iu \ii\nw nUvrr
nhcfc wbtre doctor — VMuM'yc-coll-iiun

Dot. Xinetnrmka}

Jiamet. Docior^— —doctor whai's hi&

name?

Ovr. Ilcjr! wi4iat,ha5thcfeUoi»nnundtobaitter

MkC?

iim: U there no physkiau bercuhouts raiuuu»
for curini! d'unfaiieuf

/Jktr. J buH-v vny lm,vc no need of Midi a pli v-
Mcinn, Mr Iiii)ji:rciiK:m:c.

liar. Duq'i iiiulakc uft, |>'j<k1 wnmnn, vrc dmi't
-imin to bsDlrr vou : h«! an? n-iil hy uut* inti<^
ter, nho^e ihui^imt'r luii lul Ikt »f)rci.h. tor a
cenmin pliyatciun i>ho lives licreabuiiis: wt- iiavc
IqK mjt d»n-rtion, aiH) 'us m much aa our ii\Lt>
are worth to rt-lnrn without hiiti.

Dvr. Then ii mte I)r JLnjv live* jwl hy, hiu
he hA? leit oil' pf4cli»ing. \ou wmild itot [^t
tmn a ntilc to »avc die lives uf h llwubatid
laiictRla.

J*mn, Direct u« but lo htm ; «r*H bring him
»idi iif on* way or «ther, I warniiit yitii.

iiar. Ay, uy, well have hnu nilii u», tltouyb
at carry htm on tmtr hrnkf-.

Dwr. lla^I Ucavcn Ims iospired tne with onr
of ifas mokt adinimble iiiTtntmni^ (o bi- n vcn^uit
« my JaWKdu^ ! — [^iJi/c.] — 1 assure ynu, if ya<]
'Mtin him wuh you. Ifc'O do your ynmifi lailvV
buiiic^k r«»r hrr ; be% reikoiieU one of llic
lax |ibf «cian!» iu tlie world, eit))cuull r for duuib-
«».
Bar. Prmy toll m where be livet^
Iaot. Yaull never he able lo ^ex him out of
hii ij«o ho«'*e: bm if you wmIcIi lnTCahout*,
)i>iMc)-< f with bun, f<»r he very al'ten

mnm I I <■ with cutting wood.

ttr. A (iJi.'iM' i[>n ciit wood !
JitMu. 1 iu[iT>o»e he auioaes himfeelf in search-
■hcT lirrbft, \<'u mean ?
tor. No ; lic'> one of the most cxtraordiiiiiry
in lie world . be ciies drest like n conniion
1(1. fnr ihrre i* iu)iliiii|! be ta murb dn.'ad»
\ie ltiu»n fur a phvuiion.

Ml v'tar ^cat men have some srnmge
lalmut tUrm.
^. \Hhj, Iu: will suffer biinaclf to be beat

before he will own himself to be a phyfidan
— and ril p^e yoo my word, yon'tl never make
biu) own hmtiFir one. unless you biith take a
eP'M\ cud^el ajid itirush him iuto it; 'ti* wtiat
we are all forced tu ilo wlkcn nc lia\« uay need

of iiiiii,

J.ima. What a ridictilou* whim ta here 1

JJer. Very true ; and in bo (:,rtMt a man.

James. Aiul n be so very skilful a man ?

Dor. SkUful — Hhy be does nttracln. About
half n year n*n, a wo<ii:ui was ^iven over by nil
her pli\«icinii'i, nnt, blic hail t<et-n dctid some
itmi' ; «vhcn Ihi^ si'e.-it ninn t-niite \n her. a« siiou
as he Mi^r her, ()«• poured out a liule drrip of
wimeibiuc down her lliniat— ^he bnd no soon-
er diiiii> it, tliAh tlic ^iit iiui of iKTltcil, Riidvs-alk-
od uboui the n>ooi ah d there bad been nnthing
ttiB matter with her.

halh. Ij, prodipuus !

Dor. 'in not nboTC ihrec wcelM i^, that n
chitdof twdivvcnra old Cell fmin iIk top of a
bouHc to llwt ^Mittotfi, and hmkc its akulL, iK
arms. oihI leeiw — Our phvsiciun was no ftuoner
drubbed tn'.xt niiiL.tn'j hiin a visit, than, havtne;
nibhpd the rhitd nil o\cr with a certain oiot-
itienl, it gut tt^uti its lugs, and run utvuy (4
play.

Ht>(k. f Mi most wonderfid !

itur. Iley ! Oail. Jniiie«, kvell drab kim Out
of a pni iif ibis uintuient.

Jnntet. Hot can be curi' duinbnms t

Dor. nuiubnesi ! Why the <'u rate nf oor pa-
rish's wife was bnnt dumb; and die rlortor, wiih
n Wirt nf wash, «*aHbod bet lonsue, that he «-t it »-
l**>in^ sn, Uut in lecs tbun n moiitbS time bliK out-
laiked her husband.

/i(ir. rius must be tlic very man we were sent
after.

Dor, Yonder is tlie r4*ry man I sptak vL

Jntntt. What! ihalhe viimler?

D\ir. The very stimc- -■- -He hat spied us,
niid taken up bis hill,

JameL C»m<u Harry, don't let us lose one
moiueni. — Misircu, vuiir liervant : v^e give you
(tn tbnuMiiid tlionks f[ir itii^ tnvunr.

Dar, Be tun you umke ^oud nse of your
sitck-s.

James. Ue <ban*t want that, [Escunt.

SCENE ll^Anothrr pat-t t^ the wood,

Creoort ditcavertd littittg an the grxtund, ui'/A
fc^i"t* about tutu.
Ore. Pox ou't ! 'lis mofet confounded hot
wcaibcr! Hey, v^ho have we here?

l^nter jAurs aad IIailkt.

Jamri. Sir, your most obedienl bumble kf

vaiir

Grr, Sir. your ser\aiil.

Jumet. Wc are m^jbty ^tappy in finding you

■

78

BRITISH DRAMA,

[FlELftIN*,

Gre. Ay, like enou!;h —

Jamet.. I'is in your power, air, tu do ut a very
great favour — We come, sir, to implore your as-
ustancc in a certain aflkir.

Ore, [f it be in my power to give you any as-
sistance, mitstcnt, I am very ready to do it.

Jumes, Sir, you are extremely obliging — But,
dear sir, let me beg you be covered ; the sun will
hurt your complexion.

Har. For Heaven's sake, sir, be covered.

Gre. I'hese should be footmen by their dress,
but courtiers by their ceremony. * [Aside.

James. You must not think it strange, sir, that
we come thus to seek after you ; men of your
capacity will be sought after by the whole
world.

Gre. Truly, gentlemen, thoi^;h I say it, that
should not say it, 1 have a pretty good hand at
a faggot

James. O, dear sir !

Gre. You may perhaps buy faggots dieapcr
otherwise ; but if you find such in all this coun-
try, you shall have mine for nothing. To make
but one word then with you, you sluUI have
mine for ten shillings a hundred.

James. Don't talk in that manaer, I desire you.

Gre. I could not sell them a penny cheaper, if
'twas to mv father.

James. Gear «r, we know you very well

don't jest with us in this manner.

Gre. Faith, master, I am so mudi in earnest,
that I can't bate one farthing. •

James. O pray, sir, leave this idle discourse. —
Can a person uke you amuse yourself in this
manner ? Can a learned and famous physician
like you, try to disguise himself to the world, and
buiy'such fine talents in the woods?

Grf. The fellow's a fool !

James. Let me iutreai you, sir, not to dissemble
with us.

Sar. It is in vain, sir ! we know what you
are.

Gre. Know what you are! what do you know
of me?

James. Why, we know you, sir, to be a very
great physician.

Gre. Physician in your teeth : I a physician !

James. Ine fit is on him Sir, let mo be-
seech you to conceal yourself no longer, and
oblige us to — you know wboL

Gre. Devil take me if I know what, sir! But
I know this, that I'm no physician.

James. We must proceed to the usual remedy,
I find — And so you are no physician f

Gre. No,

James, You are no pbyndan ?

Gre. No, I tell you.

James. Well, if we must, we mutt [Beat kirn.

Gre. Oh, oh! gentlemen, eentletnen I what
arc you doing ? I am — I am— wbuever yon jrfease
to have me.

James. Why will you oblige ^ nr, to thb no-
lencc ?

Har. Why will jou force us to diis tmgfale-
some remedy?

James. I assure you, nr, it pves me « great
deal of pain.

Gre. I assure you, sr, and so it doet ne.
But, pray, gentlemen, what is the reatoo that
you hare a mind to m4kc a physician of me ?

James. What ! do you deny your beiif a pb^
sician ^ain?

Gre. And the devil take me if I am !

Har. You are no physician ?

Gre. May I be poxed if I am ! [TVy ^Mf

him.] Ob, oh ! Dear gentleoMO ! lA ! for

Heaven's sake ! I am a phyncian, and ao apod»-
cary too, if youll have me ; I had tsther be ai^
thing than be knocked o' the head.

James. Dear sir, I am reinieed to see yon cooit
to your senses; I ask pardon ten thousand times
for what you have forced ns to.

Gre. Perhaps I am deceived myself, aod I aa
a physician, withoat knowing it But, dear g*»>
tieman, are you certain I'm a physician?

James. Yes, the greatest physician in the world.

Gre. Indeed!

Har. A physician that bas cured all sorts of
distempers.

Gre. The devil I hare !

James. That has made a woman walk idwot
the room after she was dead six hours.

Har. That set a child upon its legs^ imme-
diately after it had bn>ke them.

James. That made the airate*s wife, who wM
dumb, talk faster than her husband.

Har. Look ye, sir, you shall have content; my
master will give you whatever you will demand.

Gre. Shall I have whatever I will demaiid?

James. You may depend upon it

Gre. [ am a physiaan without doubt — ^I had
forgot it; but I begin to recollect myself.~*Wd^
and what is the distemper I am to cure ?

James. My young mistress, air, has lost ber
touKuc.

Gre. The devil take me if I have found it.*--
But, come, gentlemen, if I must go with yom I
muit have a plivsicinn's habit; for a physiciao
can no more prescribe without a full wig. tiuui
without a fee. [Eieunt.

FlSLDlNO.]

BRmSII DRAMA.

^^K SCEN'E I.— Silt jAsrER's hmttf.
^P^ Eattr Sir Jasper and Jauls.

m Sir Jut. Where is he t Where i<i He ?

Jontrs. Only rccruitiug hioiseif after hii jour-
ney. You need noi be impnlient, sir; for worr
mj younf ladjr doul, Iw'd bnng Iwr to hfc ti<:Hiti.
He OMket DO more of bringing a paticut to lite,
than other physidaos do ofliMinj; mat.

&V JoM. 'lis »tnui(;c »o ^rral a man blumld ha^'c
Ummt unocxountablc oitd tiumuun j'uu uicatjuii-
cd

Jama. Tis but a good blow or two, aiid be
comes immediatcljr to liimselt' Here be U.

t£Nffr Gbegosy.
JoMfi. Sir, tliii is tJic doctor.

air Jos. Dear m, jrou're the welcoraest man io
the world.

Grt. Uippocntca tayi wo tliould both be co-
•crcd,

SirJat. Hit! does Hippocnites sa; w? In
what chapter, pmy ?

Grr. In his chapter of Uats.

&r JoA. Sioce HippocrutCb says so, I sliallcbcy
bJoi.

Grr. Doctor, after bivioK mcccdiiigl; tmTcl*
led ID tbe bifthnuy of letter*

Sir Jd. Doctor ! Praj, wbom do ym speak
a}

Grt, To %ou, doctor.

&r Joi. lifl. ha !- ■ I am a knight, thank the
line'* crsre fur ir, hat no doctor.
C'v- W list, jiKi're wo doctor i
Str Jtu. No, upon mv word I
Gr€. You're »o doctor ?
Sir Jmt. DfKrtnr I no.

Otf. Tbcic — 'lis done. [Bcah Aim,

Sir J^M. DonCf ill cbc devil's name! What's

Grt. ^^llJr, now jrou are mode a doctor of
|fcpBc ■■! am sure 'its all the decrees I ever
taL

L&P its. What devil of a fellow have vou
there?

t told jrou, air, the doctor had strange

i MHfa liini.

,'Bir Jm. Whim», quotha! — Ei;ad, I «)mll bind

■■tdijiacianthip over to hib pK>d iH-haviuur, if

nt w iDjr more o( ibcwe wluias.

(/'(. hir. I «alt pardon for ilw liberi; I luivc

(ivjifl. Ofa! ^rery well, 'tis very well for
mm.

"t 1 am sorry f<»r ibosc blows —
Ar Jot. Notlnoe at all, nnthine nt all, sir.
t'r. Which I »»w obiiKtd to have the honour
* '•yy Ml •» thifk ufMfo you»
^' JOL Let's talk no more of tlicm, sir

79

ACT IL

My riauf;htcr, doctor, a fallen into n very iirnni;e
distemper.

Gre. Sir, 1 am m-erjoyed m bear it; and I
wibit, widi all my bfnrL, you and youi nhulf la*
luilv had the same iiccaAion for me as vour
iluii^htcr, to shew tbc great dnore 1 huv e to stnre
yoii.

Sir Jai. Sir, I am obliged to you.

Gte. 1 aMure yuu, btr, I bpcok fmm tlie very
bottoni of my soul.

air Jai. 1 dti brIicTc yiiu, ur, from tlie very
bottom of mijic.

Gre. What is your dnu|ihler'» name?

tS'ir Jai. My datitbtL'r'x iiiujif ih I'liarlotte.

Gre. Arc you iMire she was ctiriktciied Char-
lotte?

Sir Jas. No, ur ; she was ctiristcncd Char*
lotto. t|

Gre. Hum ! 1 had rather she iliould hare
been chrisrened Cburluiic. Char|i)He is a very
i^ood name lur a patient ; rikI, It-t mo tell y<»u,
tlic uaiue is ofrcii of aa icucb service to the pa-
tient, as the ptiyMi"ian \%

Str Jut. Sir, my duugliter is here.

Bntfr Charlotte and Maid,

Gre, l^ thai my pnlirnt? Vpim rnv word sh» '
carries iiu distemper in lit-r countenance — and I
faucy n beultby young fellow would sit very well
iipim hiT.

Strjui. You make her ftmile, doctor.

Gre. ^ much the better : 'tis a verv itood sign
when we cun biin^ n pntjcnt to ^mile ; it is a
siilii that the distmnper begins to clarifv, at 'AK
sav. — Well, child, what's tlie matter with you i
Wliai's vour distemper?

Vhar, Hun, hi, hoii, hnn.

Grr.. What flo you say?

Char. Hnn, hi, hnii, hon.

Gre. What, wliut, what?

CAor. Hnn, hi, hon ■

Grr. Uiin! titm ! houin I ha ? -I don't un-
Hcruand n word Wie snv^. Han ! hi I hon ! WItat
die dfvil cif a liiiii^tinice i.s ihia?

Sir Ju$. Why, that'^ her diitemper, sir. She's
hf»v>ine dnndi, and mi mm can n»9>ii:n ilu' mube— '
and this dthtciuper, ^ir, hut kept bock her luar^'
riaire.

Grr. Kept bock her mnrrtnge ! Why lo?

SirJa». Because her hn-cr rt-fiiscs to have her,
tilt sbf'k cuied.

Ore. ( ) li*d ! W«9 ever such n fool, that wnuUI

ii'it have hi« wife tliitnh? Wnuld to lieavco

my wife was dumb, I'd be far from dciiriite to
cure het I — I )nc3ihi<t distemper, this Han, hi, hun,
iipjirt-K* hrr very iiiticti?

StrJu*. Yes. nir.

Gre. bo much the better. Ilu abc any great
pains ?

60

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FiBLDII

.Sir J<t%. Vcrr great

Gre, Thnt's jiibt :u I irniitd hnve it. Give nc
yniir linnd, cliild. Hum — hti — n verv dumb puUe
indcetl.

.Str Jai. You linvc mi'i'rtci! Iwr difttompor.

Grr. Ay, «r, w« urent pti«ic«ii« ktnw a dis-
Umficr iinroctlialrlv : I kunw uihic nt' tbc cul-
I |ct(C would call (hu tlkc liurrf, or (Ite coupro, or
tlic sii>lu.-«, or twcntv tttticr distciiipor:) ; but I
give Tuu my word, sir, yuor il.uiahlcr i> nolltms
mnrc thiia ilumb— — So I'll tuivc vnu be very
ea^y, fur there u natltiii^ eUc ibe tiiutcrr wikli

her It* ^le were not dumb, »bc would be lu

\i^\ at 1 am.

inr Jas._ Bat [ »}iouM be clad ta know, doctor,
from nbcnt-e b« dmnltoiM pnaceeibf

Gre. \iiihiiif£ M fwilv KooODtcd fi>r.— —
1l«r duiuboeu proceeds irom her bat ia|c luit her
»pr«;l».

Sir Jau But whctwi?, if rng plcnae, proceeds
licr bnMtig lti<^i hcT ■spwxii ?

Gre. All our Ik-sI auilmrs niil tell you, it ia
ibr impediment uf tlic aciiou of the tongue.

Sir Jot. But if yoQ pleav, dear lir, your sea-
iHiieiits iipnn ibat impciii nrnt }

Grv. Ahitfktle has, upiia thu subject, said very
fme iliinv^; vcr^ fine rhioest

Sir Jar. 1 liclioc it, dticlor.

Ore. Ah ! he was a erent man; he wiw indeed

' m wy emc man A tuwi, wliu, upon that «uli-

jeci, w-iii a uinn thai But, ti> return to our

rciiwiunz : 1 hold, tbttl thi« imftrditiieut of th«
iictiun •'(' tlif Ci*nLiif is cauvrd by ccriiuo hii-
iivmrv which our givat phyarians rill — Humours
— llumourft-^— Abf yiu underMaud Latiit

Sir Jtu. Not in Ove Icobt.

(fre. Whnt, not undfT^tand lAlin?

Sir Ju*. No, indeed, diidor.

Gre. L'ubricius arci ttiurum cathidiniui, «n-
indnnter nt»ii. [Ire laosa ; hie, htec, hm^ stml-
livn hiijus hiiiic, banc niuauL Bimiiu, Uhin, bi>-
imni. K»tm! nratio Luliitusf Eliaio. Quia suh-
•tnotivn ct ndjecurani concordat in ceneri niimc-
mra El niuiK, »ic dicuni, aiiint, prvdicaot, clatni-
taur, et similibus.

Sir Jot. Ah ! tthy did I neslect niv studjesf
linr. Wlitit n pr[>diei<)n\ man i« this !

Grf. Hc*idc», sir, ivrlaio «piril>i juissin^B frtwn
the left >>idr. nhirii i> ibe »cal tit' titc livi>r, to tlie
right, mhif h is the «■;>( of the hrart, w« find the
luiitt-i, wliicli MC C>dl It) I^tiii, w)iukcni«, Imvitigc
rniumuiiiearion (vith the brkin, itb)*.-b we namo
in (irrek, jncbootngct hy ineiin» of a hiiUow rein,
nbicb wc fiill in Ucbrew, [icriwijreus nteel io
ibe rofld with ihr *atd iipiriti, whirh fill the »e«-
lri«-l.>^ mC iIic <iruotB{>li>MDii*>: ami bccnnsc the
said buMMHiis hav»^TMti coitipreliriMl me wril,
sir i nml becnuw th« said biiinoura have a certau)

iiiiili:;»ily Ir^ti-ti scrioii-ly, ] bcjj you.

air Ja». I d(i.

C#re. tbu* a crrtnio moli^ty that ii caused—
be u[tcuti\r, if von plcusr.

cula, die|^
polio. «^H

Sir Jul. I nra.

Grr. That in caused, I say. bv the acrimony
of the humoun engrndertd iu the conmvity of the
dinphra^n; theoc? it arnrea, tliat tbes<^ rapnurs,
Pnipria Ou^e mnribas tnbuuntur, iDftKrula, i"
ut sunt divoram, Mar^ Bncrhus Apollo
rum. — I'bis, sir^ is the cause at your T
beius dumb.

Jamft. O iImu [ had but his eongoe !

Sir Jav. It ii inip<>»ible to raaam better, no
doubt. But, doar sir, there a one thinn — ! lA-
nay^ tlioutchb, till now, that tiie heart vraa on tke
left side, and the Uvre oa ibe nitht.

Grt. Ay, sir, w tbey were fWvMriy ; Wi *«•
ba»e changed all lliaL Tbe college at prcscal,
sir, prooeeda apoa an eutirv itew actbod.

Sir Jat. I aak yonr pard»B, air.

Gre. Oh, sir! ilwrr's tui harm you're not

obliced to know no much a* we du.

Sir Jat. Very true; but, doi-tur, wbnl ivouid
ytMi have ilunc wilU nty daufebler?

Gre. ^Vlmt wuulrl 1 have d<Mie with her f why,
my adnce is, that you muocdiately pat her lutu
n bed wannrd witii n braM warming-pan : caaw
Iter dniik oi»e ^aarc uf tyrintt-waier, tniaed wiih
one pint of braitdy, six -Seville oranees wmI ibne
ounres of the be«t double-rehncd ^iiear.

Sir Jua. Why, t\ui a punch, ductor i

Ore Punch, Mr! ay, »r; and what's better

patient in haad ii long tioie — I love 10 do i
iif%^^ nil nt om-c.

.Sir Jiu. Doctor, I ask pardon ; yon
obeyed.

[Gi«M >

Grr. m rc:tiim in the ereoia)^ and SM wbat
effect it hn& had on her. Bui liold ; tlwre'ii aoi^
tber young Indy, herCf lliM I luus* apply mm
little remeilit-s to.

JUfiirA Who, mo? I was utvcr better in oy
life, [ tliaiik you, m.

Ort. So nitu-h tlte wfjTM^ tiMHlani: so Kwcfa
the worse : 'th verv dauiicrouK i* be eerr wdl ;
for when one is very wpH, one has nolhin;; cb*
to do hut to take |iliy<iio and lileed avray.

Sir Ji,\. Oh, strange! VVhai, bleed whc« ow
has r.o distemper?

Grr. li inav be •trance, perhafM, but 'tis very
wholcwirtc. Ite^ides, atadaM, it uiMXyuttreair,
at |ire«ent, to be verf v-cll : at lcaM» )RM cnna*
P'lF^dily Ire WL'II above three days laanr; aad it
IS alwuyx bi4l to curu a tKateanpar brfotv yea
ijQi'c it— or, as u*c sny in Greek, distempntmbf*-
luii) est cnrar* ante habe-ftum. UlutC I iWl
prescribe you, at preMrnt, is, lo takectctysM
iioitr) one of those bQhi*u>3:

Mni4. 11a. ha, ha ! \' v ' :or, ihom hA
e\aetly like lumps of In

Ore. 'fake one of iIkn; uoiu«h^ I Skf, 4n<T

I

Fielding.]

BRITISH DRAUA.

81

«K houre, wmAtii;; it down witli lix sptwafuU of
l>C5t UulUmra iccitt.-va.

\r Jtt. Sure ycni lire in je«t, ditctar ! This
dofv not fthew nny svnipbMti of h dietcni-

Mr

Ore. Sr jAipr, let in# IlM vmh, ii were mil
oniM iTtou yiiui>cII'' inoli n litilf k-iiiti»e (iliv»ic;
I shall jwvparc suincllinii^ tur yon.

Sir Jti», tin, h», lia ! Nn, ii i, dncfiir I I tiavc
cacapvd both docfnn and ili'>u»iipcr« hiihcnn,
aad I am raioired ths diociuiirr btuil pitv itt#
tlw Am visit.

Ore. Say you m^ fttrf WItf, Own, if I cnn Ket
lyi more palienU tinn-, [ ntntl I'vi-n "rvL. [(k->ii
' elwwhere; and to iKimblv bi>ii^>^ te ditiniitt d<>-
mitii venivn ^niiiiidi ftinu.

fKri/ (MiF.nnftv.
Sir Jm$. Well, ttiii it ■ phv^ictitu of vibl utpit-
015, bw of ticeediiig udd htiiuoun.

[£r«iifi/.

SCENE U.— n* *i«f/.

H .^m. Ah, Charlolte ! tfaoo hnst no rtctum tn

H •^^hctxj my tciKirancit of wliat tlmu ritriuivM,

H noe I can <n ca«ily «tucss ihy turiMCfit tiy iu\

^ tmn. Oh, bow tnitch *norr juMitinble ure inv

itart, when you Imve not milv lite c-iinrnniiil of

ipareiK, hut iIk iviitpluiMMt uV tortuiit; lu ttitun;

)Oat

AIH.

0 cunvil powrr of gold,
For wliidi ill li'Mioiir'* snid.

Awl tKHiFMy'i uu more !
For tliee, we «fton find
Thv (pvai ill lracMe« i^iiiiliin^ri,

To trick and ruU tlii.' pintr.
Dt ilii-c, (li«* fool Bud knave

1 rmn>(x-nd the wiM and b/Hi e,
Sj abxtlutc tliy reign.

WiiiwMit some iiclp of rhine,

TUk ^rc:iU'st U';iiitic9 n'.Uue,

And Jover* pk-ad, iii %'ftiu.

Enter Grcoorv,

Of- Upon my word, chii is a good bcKinnin^ !
■daftor

tA% I hate vriiitpd fur yun, tUn-tar, a loit^
^f* ria oanie to tietf ynur u»usniiiCD.
^Ot Av ; you havr nr*-il of aMl^t«nce. in-
•*^ I Whai ■ puUe b here ! V> Uat do v-mj «nr

^rwfed?

! Doctor, yitu'rc nii»tulki.'n ,
-L- y-ni-

Do you think 1

dun't know whM a mao is stok, better than ha
dues liinut*)!'?

Uan. Well, if I have any dialeiaper, it i* th*1
l«vc of thai yniiRe lady, yonr patieiu, from whtM*. j
vou \u-it now canic; and to whjm, il' you caq
t •■ii»t-v iiw, I »w«ar, dear doctor, I itiall be cC~
li'ctiiii.lv (wrcd.

O/r.'lia you take me for a |Hinpf air i A phy«i
»iciiin fur n pun^.*

/,ra«. Dear sr, nake no Boi«e.

Grr. Sir, I will inatio a nuitt J you ore an im-
pertinent fetlnw.

i^vitt. Suf^lv. Rn'xJ sir !

dr. I »liatl sliow you, nr, tUal I'm ooc Hieh a
iKiri of n ponx^n; and that ynti »ro nii in«)k-iit,

^jiucy [LcjNDKa g^tr« a yurte.] I'm not

>|K-aitini* ta yuu, «ir ; but there uni certain iin-
[itrtnu-nt fcljuw.i in tho world, itiat take pcitpla

tor wli.ii they are not which always puts uie,

*ir, ioto »uch a ^ML»»ion, tlint

h-an. I ask pardou, air, fur the liberty I bar*
talhi-i).

Ore. O, dear sir; no offence, io the least.—
Prnv. oir, Ihiw Min I in tene youf

tj-aa. lliis distemper, w. which yuii are sent
for to rnre, is fetgnrd. Tlif physitniuw liavc rea-
froni-d iiiMm it, ncrortlinn to custom, and have de-
rived it trmn the bruin, from the bowelfi, froia
tlic li*er, liius*, liahts, niiH cvcnr patrt <>t'lhe bo-
dy : but the true chum <»f it i« [i>v«; ai^d it an
inveiilion of Churtolte'6, lu deliver her from a
mnt^-'h she du-tiLcs.

Gre. Hum! Aoppose you were to disguise
yourself ns an np<xhecaryF

Lean. I'm not very well known to her father ;
tltercfore, believe I may pass upon him securely.

Ore. Go, tlicOf di^uiM* vounc-lf nnmeiliutcly ;
I'll wait for you haro— Ua ! Mcrhinks I wi a
paucnt. [£rif LtAXUBl.

Enter JxufS and Davy,

Ore. Gad ! Matters go on so swiinminitty, lU
even ritnriinic n phyurian as loiiff as I live.

JuiHft \.Sf,rakiiif( fo Davy.]— Fear not; if he
rLl.i|'M iui" li(» liuuiours, I'll quickly thra^ liiiu
iiiro I lie pliT»)ciao ngam. Doctor, I fiavc brou||h(
\uu M patient.

Dart/. Mv p<»or wipe, dftctor, !«■* fcppt her bed
those *IX luonth4. — [Grk. h*tifls trul tia kanJ.] —
If vniir womhip would liiid out soioe means lt>
curt* Iwr

Grt. Whnc** the matter with her?

Ihny. Why. she Iw* h.id fevctnH pliy«ciaus ;
one Nivs 'ti» the dropsy: another, Vw tlie whut-
d'ye-call-it, the tnnipany: a third say*, 'lis a slow
fwer ; n fnurtli 9ny\, tin* rontati/ ; a fifth

On: Wlijit arc the svuiplonis?

Davif. Svniptoms, fir !

G-r. .\v. nv ; whar doeii she complain of?

Duty. Why, i^u: is always ctavu)|[aad cnifine

% .

BRITISH DUAMA.

[FlELDIK^

for drink, cats nothing at all. Tbcn her legs arc
iwctlpil ii|i us tii;- »s n j^oui) luindsunit pusl; uml
mt cold tlifT be ns ii &u>iic.

Cirt. C'lHoc, to tilt; purpow ; spoak. to llie puiv
pOM't my rHeud.

[Ho/jUnfi intt hii hand.
Dary. Tlw purpose is Mr, timt 1 um come tu
[«sk vtial your wurvlitp pleoacs lo Imtc dooc with

Crc. P»lia, |t4iD, psim ! I duo't understaud one
word what y»u ntcaii.

Jumra. Iliit nilL-iftMck, doctor; and Ik: Iibk
bruutbt you u |;uiii«t fur yuur ndvlcc. Girc it
the doctor, friciid.

[Davy pVTM the pvinm.

Grr. Ay. now I umlcrMand yoii; h<'rt:'i a uen-
tl^nian c:tplaiti>i the cikM-. You bay your v>\tt: ift
nidi ot the drn|)5y?

Davy. V eft, ant please your wor^iip.

Oft. \\'f>)t, I have inadcndiiCt toromirrchrnd
JOUT mrBiiid^at l:ibt: ynu have the titniti^fiit <iv:iv
of dcscnl)iii£ u dirviciuper. Vou io) your wiff.- fs
alvmys calliit^ for drink : let Iter have as, murh as
the desires; *Ut rnii'l drink ton much ; and, d'ye
bear, ei^e her this piece of cheese.

JDiiry. Chec»e, air !

Ck'. Ay, fhre*c, »ir. The cheese, of whith
tlii^ is a port, hu& cured mure people u\ a druj»y
thaii ever had it.

DaTi/. I tcive your worbbip a tliousaiid ihnnks:
ni go luukc her take it innucdiatetv.

'[£>!/ Davt.

Grt. Go ; mid if she dic^ be sure tu bury her
alter the befit mumicr you can.

Enter DoacAS.

Dor, Tin like to pi\y severely for iny fmlic, if
1 have lo9t niy hubtmnd by it.

Grt, O physic luid iiitiinniotiy ! My wife !

Di>r. Fur, ihnuftli the r(»Kue u»ed me a litllr
rou|ihly. he was h? p>ud a worluiuui as any in five
miles of hi& head.

AIIC — Thoanut I eannot.

A lie for ttie damtv civil t.pooi<c,

WhoV Kred ni tlie cmiri of Fmncc;
He trpnis hill »il'e with STinJen nnd howl.
And inihr*t nni the good uium-cluuHie,
Re (iret.'ory
Tlie. man fur iiw,
TlwUKh pten tu miuiy a mapgut:
Fur be would work
Like any Turk ;
Nmic like hiio e'er handled a ^e^ot, n facgot.
None like him e'er handled a fa^ut !

Crt. What evil stars, iu the devil's nome, ha' »
vent her hither? If I could but pcrMiaili- lit-r i
fake a pill ur two that I'd j^iie her, 1 »huuld be u

physician to some purpcne— Come hidcr, sfaild,
Ida ine feela your piilitt'.

Uvr. Vkhai have you to do with my pulfte?

(ire. 1 am de 1 renuh phv^icinn, luy dear, and
I nin Iu fecln dv |j(jI*« of dc putioti.

J)or. Vi-s but 1 iiin ou pfttioo, sir ; nor wmnt
no pltyainaii, good ctoctnr lt«|oit.

Un: lki:nr, yoti iniiet be puta to-bed, and
taka dc peel ; me hU |!ive you de little }.-ecl dat
sal cure yuu, aft vou hnro more di»temprc den
evcre were hered off.

Virr. VN'hai'it the matter with the fool ? If yoa
feel my pulK any more, 1 shall feel yuux care fur

Ore. fieear, you luuat taka d« pMl.

Jhr- Keear, [ ^hall not taka de preL

Cre. I'll take this onportnnitv to iry her.—
[/lti(/c.] — Maye deor, if you will not lelta roe
cura you, vou Hala cura me; you »all \te my pbJ^
virion, Biui 1 wdl give you de fee.

I Holds on/ a pvrv.

l)or. Ay, inr Momacli df^-s uul ^o aenimi
thofe pilU; nod nhat oiuii I do for your fee?

Crt. O, begar ! me vill »how you; me villi
lca< Ita you what vou Mil doe ; you mutt roroe
kisMt utc now, you tuusl conte kissa nte uuw.

Dor. [Knte$ Aijw.j— A^ I live, my very hand
dnt< f I'tc di^covereii linn in citjd tiinci or be
had di»r(iTered roc^[Wxt^e.}— Well, docuirtHid
are ytm cured non f

(jrt. 1 bhall make my*elf a cttckcild pr
— r^iii/r.J — Di» if noi n proper place, dis i
puolic; for sud any t»ric pas> by while 1 1
[•liieir, it vtll pr<-tcola de opporution.

Dor. Wliai pby»r, dutlor?

Gre. In your eur, dat. \Whispen.

Dor. Ami in yuur ear Hat, iMrmlL — {Uittmi
htm a Aor.] — Do you dan: adruiit my itrtuc, yua
villun ! iJ'ye think the world should bribe me lo
part w ii h luy virtue, my dear virtue ! Tbere, Coke
your purM; afinin.

Grr. But wlicre's the gold?

Dor. ilie cold I'll kcvp^ as an etenial moov-
ment of my virtue.

Grr. (I wbiit « happy doc an I, to find my
nitV" M) virtuous a woman when I Irnn cxpefTeil
it! (ih. my iiyured dear ! fk'liold your Urtyrty,
vunr «)«• n husband !

Di.r Ila!

Off. O mc ! I'm bo full of joy, I cannot l«II
tliee nuire than (hat I am as iiuirli thr liappm*
of men, u» thou an the auin virtuuuii <^ wo*
men!

Dor. AikI nrt thou really my Gregory } And
huAt thmi any mure uf the»e purM» f

Grr. No, my dear, I hnvc do more ahont ne:
b t 'tis proliubic, ni a few days I may hate a
h lurlred ; for the siruttgest accident has lui))t>cft'
ed to me !

fJor. Yes my dear ; but I can tell you wImb ^
you nrc obbgcd to for tlwl acddcut : IokI i

PlBLDIMC]

BRmSH DRAMA.

83

\

^

M. bctttcn me this rnoraing, I hnd never lind yoii
HTeo iuiu ft phv^cUn.
Grt. Oh, oil \ ilica 'us tii you I owe all tliat
dnihhinf ^

Dor. Yes, HIT dear; ihuugh I tittie dreamt of
thr ron»ei)ucnctr.
Urr. Hdw intiaitrtf I'm oblieeil to ihee I But

Enter IIelle&oiie.

HeL Are not vou the great <J<ictnr ja<tt come
m this biwi), so famous lor curing dumbocss?
Ore, Sir, i uin tii>.
HeL Thcu, air, I &boQld be gind of your nd-

Grt. Let me feci Tour pulw.

Uri. Not for myself, good dtx"tor; I nin, mv-
Kir, sir, a brotl)er of the faculty, what tlic wjriH
aih m mad doctur. I have iit present under niv
cm a patient, wKum 1 can by iw tnraiis jiretnil
with CO speak.

Grr. I shall make faim speak, nr.

HeL tl will adil, !)ir, to the ^reat reputation
mo bane alrcndy acquired ; and ( am happy in
Mdw»g you.

Gre. Sir, t am a« happy in finding you. — [Tff*
hmg Aim atidf,] — You nee that wuinan, there?
ihe u |}<iMC»^ with a most strange sort of niod-
nna, and imapDCB every man she mx^ ui be her
bntiMid. Now, ur^ if you will but admit, her iu-
to Tour house ^

iiet U<»t «villit)|j;lyf sir.

Off. "file tirsi itiiiifC. sir, you are tti do. is to
Irt out ihiny rmnce^ of her blood : tlien, sir^ yi>ii
ue tu tkhave off all her hair ; all her hair, sir : nf'
ter fthicb, you arc to make n »ery severe iiw .if
wur md, twice a-dny ; and inVc a particular mre
ibu the have not the leo&l allowance beyond
bread and water.

HfL Sir, I shall readily a^rcc to tlie dictates
of »u i;rrat a man ; nor can 1 holp approvmir at
jow method, wlucb is exceeding milo and whole'

MBM.

Ore, fTct Am iTf/'c ] — Mv tlcar. that cciitlemnn
•ill onaouct you to in? UKluiin:*. Sir, I bcK, yju
«iU take a particular care of thv lady.

SmL You mav lU^pcnd nn't, sir; nothing m my
ponr thall ho waintin^ ; you hlftvc only to in-
fvcfbr I>r Uelkb'irc.

Dor. Twont be long before I see vou, hu»-
fattdr
HdL H«faaad I ThU it as unaccountable a
any I bava yet iiK^t uiili !

[KxU IUl. with Uo8.

Enter L&jikdcr.

Crr. 1 dunk I ahall be rereoged on you now,
JP 'im. So, sir.
[lf>n. 1 ihiok I make a pretty good a|ioOieca-

^ Ya^ &uh; jrou'rc almost as good an

spittKecary, as I'm a phfsidan ; And, if you
pIraM?, I'll ronvev vou to the putieiit.

Ijtati. If I did hut know a few plty^ical hard
wnnl+— —

Grf. \ few physical hnrrl words I Why, in a
lew hard words coum^Is the vience. Would you
know as much as the whole faculty in an instant^
sir? Cniiie atmii!;, rmnr almii* f 1 lold ; the doo
tor mu&t always go before tlic apothecary.

yEKunt, '

SCENE in.— <^iB jAsrstt's Awue.

Enter Sia Jasper, CaARLOTTt, and Siuid.

Sir Jas. Uns site midc no attempt to speak,
yet ?

Maid. Not ill the least, sir; so far from ic,
tliitt, a^ she used to make a sort of ttoiic before,
^hc is now nuitr silent.

Sir Jn*. [ijiotciitg on hUtentrh.] — ^Tis almost
the Umc the d-icior promised to return — Uh, be
IS here ! Doctor, your servant.

Enter Greoort and Le&nocr.

Crir. Well sir, how does ro^ patient?

Sir Jitt. ilutlicr worse, sir, since your prescrip-
tion.

Ore. So mudt the better; 'tis a sgn that it
operates-

Sir Jas. Who if that gerttleraan, pny, with
you *

Ore. An apoihi-cary, sir. Mr Apirthcrary, I
di'sire ynii would immediately apply chat song I
prescribed.

Sir Jat. A song, doctor ! Prmcrilie o sonjj P •■ ■

Ore. Prescnfx: a song, sir ! Vcs, sir; prescribe
a song, sir. Is there any ihiin* so ^itranse in
llmt? Did you never hear of pills to pur^e me-
lancholy ? If you imdcrMand thew lhins;s better
ihan I, why did you send fur me ' 'Shod, sir, this
son^: would make a sinne S}>cnk. Itui, if you
pleusc, sir, you and I will confer at some dis-
laiicF, durin<; tlie application ; for this mmii: will
do you na tnudi hann as it will do yotir daughter
^(Xjd. lie sure, Mr Apothecary, to pour it dowa
her OJira very closely.

AIU.

jLtom. Thus, liivety patient, Charli>tle sees
tier dying paticut kneel;
Soon cured will be your feigood di»>
case;

But what physidnn e'er cnn vtat
The tonnentu wl*ich I feel }

Think, fhiirniiiig nymph, whdc I com-
plaia.
Ah, tliink what 1 ciidore !

All other remedies are inin ;

The lovclv cause of all my pain
Can only cauee my cure.

84

BRITISH DRAMA.

Fl«L»TlfO.

Crt. Tt is, 9tr, B ftrent snil stibilc quc^slion
aiouiig Uie doctors, WlictlH^r women nrtT mure
s* tu be cured ihnn mvix ? I tic^ n>u v oiild nt-

1 to this wf) if you pica**: -Some wv, Nti :

cKliers sny, Yes; *iiitj, fur my pari, ! siy t«>ili Yi-i
anil No ; f'jnijtmuch an the inruii«;ruity tif ibi
. OJiupie humouri thai lucrt in the natui-nl temper
[of K'unicn, art the mtiKe that titp brutal |ran will
alwavs fin-vail mcrHic im&ihli? ' Oiic w-es
thitt the inc}iiality of their opinions dcprtuU
upon ihf black movtmcnl of toe rirclp of iht
xnooii ; and ms the tun, Hi:it d»nk \va mys upon

tht concavity of ilic t-orth, tiiid!.'

Vhar. No, I km not ac all capable of clmngiiig
my nptiiiuu.

Sir Jiu. My daut^htcr speaks ! my dnuKbtcr
ipcnIiB ! Oh, the prat power of physic ! Oli, th**
ediiiinibtf phytit-ian ! How oko I reward diet
for Micti a senice!

Gie. This distemper Iiaa given mc a most itt-
aafiicmble deal of Iroablc I

ll'mrertiug the ttagr in a great hrat, the
apot heca ry/oilon-ing.]
Char. Vcs, sir, I have rtco%-trpd my »prcH^;
but I hare rccorcred it to tull yoo, that I ne\cr
will hnvc nny hiisliiind but Lcandcr.

[^Sjieakatfilfi fTtml eagrrneiSt and drive$ Si n
jA3ipr.it round the »iage.

Sir Jul. But

C'Anr. Nothing is capable to shake ihe resolu-
tion 1 have taken.
Sir Jas. Wliat !

Chiir. Your rhetoric ia ia Tain; all yoar di»-
Cour»e« Nullify iiuthiog.
UtrJia. I—

Char. I nm determined : and nil the fatlters
in the world shoK never oblige me to marry con-
trary to my tiictinniiom.
Sir Jut. I have —

(.'Anr. 1 n<-ver«ill submit to ihin tyr^innv ; and
if 1 mu»t not liuvt; Uie man 1 likt, I'il diC a
tntrid.

Sir J«. You »lmll have Mr l")appcr'
i^har. No — not in any manner — not in ihc
least — mK at all ! Yon throw away vour breath ;
vno la»e yon r time : you may conline me, brut
me, bruise mr, destroy mr, kill nic; dn what \«u
wUt, usemcas you will : bull net er will conxiiit ;
nor all your thrcat», nor all your blow ■, nor all
your ill-usaar, never shnll lun-c me to eoost-ul.
So far from Kivin^ him my heart, 1 never will

f:ivF bun my hand: for he \i my aterition ; I
tale the very m^t of him ; I hod raAcr see the
devil ! I bnd nitlier touch a toad ! you may moke
tin nuKvahle .lootlitrr way; but with him you
aban't. that ['ui resolved [ '

Gre. llM-re, fir, there ! I tliink we have
brought her tongue to a pretty Wjlciablc coDiiM-
ctocy.

Sit Jat, ConsiaiefM^, qooiha ! whv, there i*

no &topp(i^ her tat^u't: Dear doctor, 1 dcMre

^ou would make hrrdumb again.

.e«ap

Crt, TluitV impovMhIr. >ir. All that I ran do
tu .ocfve yuii.1^ 1(^11 mukc you deaf, if you
ptcn«e.
Nr Ja*. Aad do jmn think -
(.'Aur. All youl- reaimiiii^ ^lall never cotKiucr
my r(.-y>lutiuii.

ikr Jat. You ^hxll marry Mr Dapper this evet>*
iiig.

Cher. I'll be buried fir^l.

Cre. Stay, sir, rtny ! Im nir rrsulntc this af-
fair; it i» » HtMcinper llmi |itiwn8M» her, and I
kaow what remedy ft apply to it.

Sir Jat. I* it pn*'Mhle, »ir, that yoo can cure
the diMeiu|a-rk tii tlic tmnd '

Gre. Sir, 1 cun cuic any thine. Hark ye, Mr
A pothcrary ! you sec that ihe love she has for Lc-
tindcr i» etrtjrcly cnntmry to the will of her fa-
ttier, and chat there is no time to lose, and that
nn immediate remedy is nccesiiarT. Fur mr put,
1 know of but one, which it a dosr of pu
ruitiiiiii;-HWHy, mixt nilb two drams of pilU
uimomac, mid three larc'* handfuls of the
ritr: perhaps &he will mnkc anjiue difiicultv ro
tukc tliein ; but as you are an able apothecary,
1 sImlJ trust to ycu for tJie succc5S. (Jo, make
her walk in ih^ gnrdcn ; be Mire lose do time:
lo llie remedy quick; to llie lemedy specifK !

[Krntftl LtANDiH and CiUBtorrL
Sir JaB. \^'ll^t dnjti«, air, were iIhhc 1 heard
you mention, fur I don't rcmrmbcr I ever bcaid
ihcm k{K»kc of Itcfotc f

Grr. 'I hf'y are Mmie, air, lately discovered by
the Itovttl l«oeitty.

Str Jat. Did yon rvnr see auy tiling djiuil to
her ioMili ocf?

Gtf. l)au^iers ore indeed sosKtitoes aJiult
loo hettd*tlnm^.

Sir Jilt. \n*i rannot ttnapne, sir, how foolishly
fond <>l)e is u\' thnt Ijcaiader.

t>i-r. The heat of blood, sir, causes thai io
yu'uii: iniiids.

&ir JnK for my port, the moment I discover*
od the violence of her pnafiion, 1 hove always
kiiit her locked up.

Grr. Yiio hn\e done very wisely.
Sir Jut. Aud 1 liave pieveiitcd llwni fram
ioE the leost criainmuiraiion lofcllier : for
knows nhtu ini'ghc luive lirrn the t im«)cqneiiD«
\V liTi ktiowft hui slic niiuhl have ttiken it inm bcr
lieiid to hine run owiiy with him?
Grr. Very true.

Sir Jitt. Av. hfr, let mr alone for fEnrrmtsf
fiirk; I thihk I Imvc i"mc myii to bv xaui <m
rhnl lieitri; 1 ihiuk 1 \\m\v Ah«.-\iii tlic notjit that
1 uiwlerstuiid a linle of women — I tliiiik 1 h«»e :
und, let tuc tell ynu, Mr, there is ihU a Utile art-
miiiiifd. If ihiH cirl Imil IduI Mune faibrrs (!>'▼'
had not kept brr out of tlio hanils of so «if(ilnta%
hiver, ns I Imvf done.
Ore. ^lO, ccrtimiJy, sir.

Fielding.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

Enter DoECAS.

Dor. Where '» tliis villain, thb rogue, tliii pre-
tend^ ptiysK^iax f

&r Ja$. Ucydoy ! What, what, what^s the mat-
ter now?

Dor. Oh, airmb, dmili ! Would you have di-
strtned ^our wife, you sillaJD ? Woald jtiu have
brcn guilty of intirder, dofc ?

Ort. Iloity toit^ ! What madwoman i« tlii»?

Sir JoM. VooT wretch ! For pity's uikc, cure
her, d(x-[or.

Ore. Sir, I shftll not cure her, tint^M »ime-

borty pwet mc a fee If you will ^ivc mo a

fee, ar Ja»per, you shall »cc rae cure her this
iitttant.

Dor. m fee you, ytm villain— — cure rae !

AIR.

If you hope, hy yoiir A\\l

To givi liorms a pill*
You ore tiot n det* p politician :

Crailil wiveft but he broui>ht

To swallow the dniuj*ht,
£ach husband would be a phyeicion.

Knlrr 3 amis.

Jama. O sr, undtjne, undone ! Yotir daut^tcr
ii ruu away wiUi her lover Leandcr, who wns
here dia^uiscd like an npothf?ciiry — aud this is
dw ivipie of B pb}'&ician wbo kuu contrived all
ikf a£iir.

Sir Ja*. Uow ! am I abused in this manner ?
Itere! who istliprc? Hid my clerk brine pen,
Dik, and paper ; I'll tend this fellow to jmJ im-
MdVatrly.

James. lodeed, iny ^ood doctor, you stand a
Very fair chance tu Ix* banged ftjr Mealing iin
kifcsa,

Grt, Yes, indeed, I believe I &hall take my
demesnow.

JJor. And are thiry going to hang you, ray
■Mr DttlbaDar
Grr. You see, my dear wife.
Dur. llad you linished llic faggots, iL had bten
wne eomoUtioo.

Enter LrAXDtR and Cuahiotte.

Imm, Bcbold, tir, Uiat Lc^niiler. whom you
Mlortiid jmtr bouec, restores vour dai^-nter
t* your power, even wheo b« bad her in his, 1

will receive her, iir, only at yoar band»-~— I
have rcrcivcd letters bt Mhich 1 have learnt tba
dcuth of an unctc, whuse ntate far exceeds that
nf v<uir inlcnili'd soii-in-iaw.

&r Jcit. 8ir, your virtue a beyond all estates;
and t give you my daughter with all the plcasura
in tlic wurkl.

Lean. Now my fortune makes me hapiiy in-
deed, m\ dearest C'harlotie [ And. di>mfr, I'll

iiiiikL- thy ftirtunt^, too.

Ore. If you would be so kind ti> make me
n phy<<)cian in earner, I should desire do other
forlunc,

J^an. Faith, doctor, I wi^h I could tin ihui, in
return for your having made me an ai*»thecary;
but I'll do as well fw thee, I warniiii.

Dor. Ki), Hi \ uur pliyM<^iuii. 1 tiiu), hivs hnmiihfi
about fine maltent. -Vud i!> it uot oniMu tu uie,
sirrali, that ynu hnvp been a phyHCiwu at ail'

Sir Jiu. Mas 1 bt-K Ut know «%liethcr yuu area
pbvfician or not — i>r wbiil the devil you are?

Gre. I think. »\t, after the iiiinicuUiuti cure
jou have I'een me |>er1»rm, you have no rr«*">n
tu Ahk whrlhiT I am a phyMiioii or iii> — And hjr
y<«u, tviic, I'll [iriiccfi)rth have yuu behave with
ull Hefeienre t»i my jireutncjts.

Dftr. Whv, thnu polled up fool, I coiild have
ninde as g^^Mid a phvsiciun myself; the- cure a^aa
• iwiug to the apotnecary, uot the d'n-tur.

AIR. — We've cheated the ParsoHy^e^

When tender younji; virgini look pale, and com-
plain.
You mav send for a doaen treat doc iur» in vain :

All give their opininn. niiH piicket tliiir fee^;
Each wrtleK lier » cure, dmii^li all luias her dia-

Powders, drops,
Julaps, slijps
A cargo of poiftim (vtm \^h\*.intl ^hopt.
Though they phy.s)c u> death the unhappy poor

raaiii,
What's thm to ibe doctor-^— sinre lie laost be

paid ?
Would you know how you may nianiige her

right ?
Our doctor baa brought you a nostrum t'>-night«
Chu never vary,
Nor niiMTarry,
If the lover be hut the apolbecary.

Chorus, — Cau never vary, &&

CHRONONHOTONTHOLOGOS.

BT

CARET.

DRAMATIS PERSONS

MEN.

CsEONONBOTOKTHOLOooSy king of Queenmmo-

nui.
BoHBARDiNiAN, hu gentruL

Aldiboroktipboscopuormio. ) _„_..

RioDuic-FuNMfDos. } courti€r$.

Captain of the guards,

JBereld.

Cook.

Doctor.

King of the Jiddtert.

JLing rfth* Antipodtt,

WOMEN.

Fadladinida, queen ^ QMterwnmamim.

TAtLAKTHE, her favouritc.

Tico Udies of the court.

TtPo ladiet ofpUaturt.

Venut.

Cupid.

Guardt and aitendantSf 4^r^

Scen^-^Queeruaaaania.

ACT L

JBCENE I.— i<ii ttHti-ehamber in thepahn.

JEmter Rigduk-Fonhidos and Aldiboeonti-
raoscopHOHimo.

Rig-Rin. AldiboitHitipboscoi^rnio !
Where left ^ou Chronoonotontnologos f

Aidi Fatigued with the tmneudous UhIs of
war.
Within his tent, oo downj cooch snccumbent,
Himself he unfatigoei with gentle slumbera -.
Lulled by the cheerful trumpet^ gladsome clan-
gour.
The notM of drums, and thunder of artillery.
He sleeps supiue amidst the din of war :
And yet, 'tis not delinitirely sleep ;
Rather a kind of doze, a waking slumber.
That sheds a stupefaction o'er his senses :
For now he nods and snores; anon he starts;
Then nods and snores again : If this be sleep.

Tell me, ye gods ! what mortal man's awake? '
What aavs my friend to this?

Rig- Pun. Say ! I say he sleeps dog-sleq):
What a plazue would you have me say ?

Aldi O mipiouB thought ! O cursed inaiM^
tion !
As if great Chrononhotontbologpi,
To animals detestable and vile,
Had aught the least sitmHtude !

Rig~Fun. My dear friend, yon entirely Bt^
apprehend me : I did not call the king wig Iff
craft ; 1 was only going to tell yon, diat the nt
diers have just now received their pay, and in
all as drunk as so many swabbers.

Aldi. Give orders instantly, that no more mo*
ney
Be issued to the troops : Mean time, m^ fnetx^
Let the baths be filled with seas of come,
To stupefy their souls into sobriety.

CAtEV-l

BRITISH DRAMA.

•r

I

I

Rifi^Fmm. f fancT vou hud better bBoiib the
Btitlmv mad hiow tbr Geiie^u ctttks to the devil.

AtdL rbou couuMrilcst well, my RtgUum-Fun-
ordm,
And TT^xm «rcR» to father tbv advice :
Sou *wft •' — IT** ls"'fE. i" p*ii«*'e r<)ii(prii|iIntion,
^cifiof to rcBoU* on toine iroporiutit doubt ;
H:* Mal» too copMMU tof bis eartltiv rubric,
htjuu forth, ■pootaiiOHis in wliloqiiy,
And Vitfcei hu toogv^ t)ie midwite ul" bis mind.
L« u retjn;, IcsC we duturb bu wbtudc.

[Vtey retire.

Enter Kmo.

JEm^. Thii god of sleep ia watdifal to torment
me,
Aa4 fwi it KTOwo ■ (tranccr to my cjc« :
Saan not with Chn>nunh'ttontU>tlnpis,
iWu Ktlc ftlumhtrrr, ihnii detctccd Stminust
For. il' Uuiu diHt, til nil tlio wmlune powcn,
rU tear tinoc cyc-balU frrim their Iradeo-aockctSf
AM ferae tliec to uut-^tarc eternity !

[Ejit in a kuff.

lt»rofg RiODim mtd Ai.oi»oitoxTt.

Hif. T^ kine is in a mou curied p;»sioti !
Ptay, «ho ihr devil is tliia Mr Souuiust Ik's so
ucrv witbftl }

AUL Inc son »( CWh and of Erebus
Iw:nitiirii» fmir ! bnrfbfr of Mnm reltrntless,
Wluift speckled n>be, and wines of blackc:>c hue,
AaamA all mankuid with hideinis iflare ;
UiaMatf wUi) uibk (iluincft, to men Kciipvolcnt,
B>iaBllo««Dy sliiinl>er». ot>d n^frc-shmic alcL-p.

Atf . 71li» ^ntlrmin rnay rumc of u very ^ood
fuBilr, for Durht 1 kn>nv ; but I would not be in
ba pUcv far iW vfurld.

4UL ftn, Iq ! tfati kiiq!< ^'s TootAtcps this way
hXMlinf,
ffiseoBtalivF fscultii-i immersed
b OOCifaaiiditv <>!' nkjfiiaiiiiti :
Ih iriW-Mre clo« our folding-doors of speech,
Till apt atieuuun lell iMir bcnri the purport
Of iIms pivfouud profundity oi' tbou](hL

St-^mier Kimg, Nithfet, and AttenAint$, SfC,

Ibag. Il i* resolved Now* Somntu, I defy

imtlmm ouikitMl ampnic thy rupteil doiniinnn.

Thtm nrnl vyf* thou never luun: tlmlt cIumt.

BsHwfiyrch, let wt man sleep, on pniii of duaib :

la«r«d of Urfip, In p«nnp<)ii'^ (Kivustitry

CfKM a'l inmikind eternally Auhke.

So ' < dc<!orfttc the st^tce

%i' ( tccnrc of deoM-alimi:

Caatsand ci4iti(*-M'», divarft aitd pvginH:«,

(■■^datirr^ taoac in it« nmpIcDt order,

H iars paatofnimr^, '*o^ "^^ i'**^ mimic motion

Of NCOB dcccptUfviMve Bud sublime.

Thcjlat ttene dramt. TV kin^ h uaiedt
and a firaad pantomime cntrrttiinment
H performed, in tiie midst of wAicA, ea-
tert a captain of the guard.
Copt. To arms ( lo arms ! great Chrononbo-
touilHilogos I
The Autipudean powers, frooi realms below,
tliice boFM the tu>lid eiitrails of the earth ;
t iustuiig sucb cacnracts of forces forth,
1 his wurld u tui« incupiou» to contain them :
Armies on amtie^ uiarch, in form stupendous;
Not like oor earthly regions, rank by raidt.
But tecr o'er tccr, high piled from eurth to bcie

ven;
A blazinj; bullet, bigger than the lun,
Sh>H from a huge and luonatrous culverin,
liat^ bud your royul citadel in a«hes.

King. I'cace, coward ! were they wedged like
golden ingots,
Or pent fio L-lt>Me, u» to admit tw vacuum,
One look from CbnmonboujuthulaiQos
Shall scare tbcm into notiiiiig. Rigdunv-FufloU

don,
Ilid Bumburdiiiian draw his legions forth,
And meet us in tht pluint of (^uct-ruiu mania.
■["his very now ourselves shall there conjoin him :
Mean tnne, bid uJl the priests prepare tlxir tem-
ples
For riles of triumph : Let the sirring Kiogcrs,
Wi[h vocal voiix-s, inu»t vorifcrou-i,
In sweet vacifcmtion, oui-vocifcrize
Even souud it^lf. So be it as wc have ordered.

SCENE n.-— ji magnificeHt apartment.

Enter QVEEN, TaTLahtmb, and two ladiet.
Queen. Day's curtain's drawn, the mom begins

to RK,

And wakine nature rubs her dccpy evcs:
The pretty little flect-y bleariri" incki
tn baii'b hannoiiious warblv throueh ihe rocks:
Ni){ht piUim up her >badeO', in sable ^bruudg,
And whisp&rine ozirrs taltle to the clouds.
VVIint think yuu, liidleft. if an hour wc kill,
At bnasct, ombre, picqiR't, or <jiiadrille ?

Tilt. Your iiinte»ty ww* pli-Hwd lo order tea.

Queen, Mv nimd is altered ; brini: sunic ratifia.
[Thei/ are lereed round uttit a drxun.
I bnvc a fiiniuiis tii)dl<;r sent from France.
Bid luui cuiub in. What think ye uf a dance?

Enter Fiddler.

Fid. Tlius to your m^esty, soys the tappliant

IIUl >c,
Would YOU a solo or sonata chuse?
Or bold' cant- rrto, or soft Stciltana,
Alta Krunci^c ovtiro in gnvto Romano?
When yuu cuumiaud^ 'tis dooc as soon as Apokc.

M

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Cabit.

Quetn. A civU fellow ! plaj oa the Black

Juak. [Mutic plays

[Quetn and Ladia dance the Black Joak
So inuch iar dauciti)^ ; now lee's rest a while.
Bring in the ted-thiuf;!! ; does tlte kettle boil }

Jal. The water hubbies and the tea-rupsskip.
Through eager hope tu kiss ^our royal lip.

[Tea brought in.
Queen. Come, ladies, will you please to chuse
your tea;
Or greea Lmperial, or Pekoe Bohea ?

lit Ladtf. Never, oo, never sure on earth was
seen»
So Krariiius, sweet, and afluble a queen !
kd Lady. She is an anjcel !
lit hadjf. She's a jjroddess rather !
Tat. Site's ani^ly queen, and goddess^ altoge-
ther!
Queen. Away ! you flatter nie.
\tt 1m^, We don't indeed :
Your merit does our praise by far exceed.

Quetm. Y(Hi make me blush : Pray, help me

to a fan.
tti Ladjf. T^at Uu^ becomes you.— — -
Tat. Would I were a man !
Queen. I'll hear no mure of these fantastic
airs. [Bell rtngt.

The bctl rings in : Come, ladies, let's to prayers.

[They dance off'.

SCENE lU.— ^n anli^hamber.

^ter RiGDCu ant/ Aldiboronti.

Rjg. E^ad, we're in the wron^ box ! Who the
detil would have thought that Chrononhotonthu-
loi:os should lie at that mortal sight of Tippodi'-
ans? Why, there's not a muther'i> child of them
to be seen '. 'egad, they footed it away as fast a^
their hands c<iuld carry tht^m; but they have tel't
then king behuid them. We have hun safe, that's
cue cniofort.

Aldt. Would he were still at amplest liberty !
For, oh ! my deareht liigdum-Fuuiiidos,
I have a riddle to unriddle to thee,
Shall make thr-e stare thvself into n statue.
Our queen's in love with this Autipodeaii.

Rig The devil she is ! \\ ell, i see mischief is
goiuH forward with a vei^eance !

Aldi. But, lu ! the cnnquemr comes, all crown-
ed with conquest !
A solemn triumph graces his return.

Let's grasp the forelock of this apt oocaaoD,
lu greet the victor, in hisjSow of gisry.

A grand triumph. — Enter Chbononboiontho-
LOGos, guards and attendants, ^ met by
RiGOUM-f usNiDos and Auiiboeontiphosco-

PUORNIO.

Atdi. All hail to ChrononboCf»tholocoa !
Thrice trebly wdcome to your tv^ so^ccts !
Myself and faithful Higdum-Faimidosy
i.ost in a labyrinth of love and loyalrr,
Intreat you to inspect our inmost souls,
And read, in them, what toivue can never utter

CAro. Aldiburnntiphoscopaomio,
To thee, and gentle Rigdum-Funnidos,
Our gratulations flow in stream* nnboundcd:
Our bounty's debtor to your loyalty.
Which iUtall, with interest, be repaid e're loi^.
But where's our queen f where's Fadladinida?
She should be foremost in this gladsome tran.
To grace our triumph; but, I see she alilbls M>
This haughty queen shall be no longer muM^
I'll have a sweet and gentle concubine.

Ri^. Now, my dear little Pbosco{^fnyv for a

swinging lie to bring the queen off, and III na

with it to her this minute, that we maj all be n

a say. Say she has got the thoroogb-go-oiniUr.

[WhtMperSf mndMleabtf.

Aldi. Speak not, great ChrononhotontbokfOfi
III accents so injuriously severe.
Of Fadludinida, your faithful queen:
By me she sends an embassy of love.
Sweet bldudislimeuts, and kind congntolatioa^
But, cannot, Oh ! she cannot, come herself.

King. Our rage is turned to fear ; What ab
the queen P

Aldi. A sudden diarrhsea's rapid force
So stimulates die peristaltic motion.
That she by far out-docs her late out^on^
And all conclude her royal life in danger.

King. Bid the physicians o( the world ■— »niHi
In consultation, solemn and sedate :
.More to corroborate their sage resolves.
Call from their graves the learned men of oU:
Galen, Hippocrates, and Paracelsus;
Ooctors, apothecaries, surceuns, chemists^
All, all attend and see they brii^ their nwi£'

cines;
Wtiole magazines of gnlli-pottcd nostroms,
Mnteriali/ed in phanuaceutic order !
L he man that cures our queen shall have our en*
pire. [Eav^

Cabby.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

ACT n.

SCEHZJ.—A garden.
Eater TATijinTnE anJ Queen.

Quetn. Heigh bo ! my bcmrt !
Tmt. What aiU my Kracioua quecu }
Qiuen. O would to Vctius I hnd iierer accu —
Tat. Se«u what, toy royaX nualreat f
QuitM. Too, tno much !
Ta(. Did it aAif(fat vou ?
Qiifm. No ; 'uh notliiitg uch.
Tat. What was it, madnm f
Quiea. Really, I don't knuw.
Tat. It must be sotuetbiiig t
Qmeen. No I
Tht, Or nothing f
QiUfJt. No!

Tut. "nKii, I conclude, of coane, since it was
aeitfaer,
fotMo^ aikd aomcthiss jumhlod well logetlicr.
f^imi Oh t my TaUanthc, bare ygu never

7W. Can I gucu what, unlcM yuu tell, my

queen?
Qmeen* The king, I menu i
T*t. Juit DOW returned from war,
Be rides lit:e Man in hu triumphal car.
CuoqoPAt. prccMtm, with laurels in his limid;
BchifMl him Fame does on her tripos stnni) ;
Ktr goMen tramp Bhritl through the air ^e

•oiiikU,
Vfhich rends the eartli, and thence to Heaven

rebounds;
Tnpfaiei and apuita iimumrmblc praoe
1W IfiuMph, wfaicli ull triumphs duc^ dcfuuc :
Vmtt tbeo, great queen I jrour hero thus lo

meet,
Vba longi lo lay hi« laurels at your feet.
ttMrai. Art mod, Totlautbe? I meant no such
thinp.
W talk's diiUutcfuL
Tat. Didn't tou nnme the king ?
({uea. I dill, TatlanttiB, tnit it wns not ihinr;
"» dianiune king I ineaji, i*i only mine.
T<ir. Who rlic, n ho else, but kuch a charm-
u^ fair,
ttChnaoDboioutbologos khould share?
^ ^oeea of beauty, iu)d the |^ld of arms,
nhnBand juu united, blend their charms.
w! had you htm him, how he dealt out dcntli,
^ K one sirukr, robbed thousands of theit

hreath:
^'Ue on die alaughtercd hen\r% himself did rise,
bpjnmJd^ of conquest to tht.* 5kieii :
*Wp4tall hailed, and fain n-ould have him stay ;
M jour fartckt cbanni have called him ttiencp
awBy.
4a<ra. Thi4 does my ntnioit indi^niuion tjuk :
Too ve too pertly lavish in his proiiip.
laave me for cr«r ! [Tatlaktuc knctUng.

Vol. UL

Tat. Oh ! what shaU I say ?
Do not, great queen, your on^r thus display!
O fmwn mc drad ! lot me not live to hoar
My gracious quean and mistress so srrerc !
I've made sonic horrible mistake, f>o doubt !
Uh ! tell uiu witnt it is !

Queen. Nu, find it out.

Tat. No, I will never leave ymi; hero I'U
grow.
Till you some token of forgivcnness show :
Oh T all ye uowers above, come down, cotno

dawn 1
^Vnd from l»er brow dispel that angry fro»vn.

Queen. Tatlanthe, rise ; you haro prarniled at
last:
OlTend no more^ and HI encase vihat'^ past.

[TATi.ANTnE asitle, riiing.

Tat, Why, what a fool was I, not tn perceive
her po^un for the topay-tuny kinit, llie pcatle-
man that carries his tieaid where his hccli should
be r Rut I must tack about [ »ce.

[7*^ the Quefint.
Excuse me, gracious nmdam I if my heart
iti-ars sympathy with yuur's in c\^y V^'-^i
With you alike I iormw and rcjfiice,
Appnjve your pusioa, and commend your

choice ;
The captive king

QuccH. That's he ! that'i he ! that's he !
I'd die ten thmisnad deaths to set him free :
fth ! Hiy Tnllanthc ! liave yon wen his facts
ills air, lii^ ^ilmpc, Uin mien, his every grace?
In what n charminj* altitude be stands !
How prettily he foots it with hi^ Imnds !
Well, to his arras, mi, tu his Ic^s I tlv,
For I must h>ive bim, if 1 lire or die. [Exeunt.

SCENE 11.—^ bal chamber.

CanoKOsnoTOKTaoLooos atiiep.

Roufih mufir, viz. S<ilt-Ooxet tai/i roiUng-piat
eriil'tntnn and tonsM ; soa.'-gelJf.n' wrnsj
aiarriKc-boncs and cteavtrt, ^c. Ac.

[He naka.

Oirvn. What heavenly sounds are these thas
charm my ears !
Sure 'tis the music of thr tuneful sphere*.

Enter Captain of the gnardt.

Capt. A messenger from general Qotubarditii-
an
Crav^rs instance aodience of your majesty.
Ciron. Give liim odnuttaucc.

Enter Herald.

H'r. T/mg life tn Chronoahotouibologos !
Yutir fniihfuT ycncral, BumburJinian,
Sends you bis tongue, transplanted in my mouth,

M

90

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Cabbt,

To pour his soul out iu jour royal ean.

Chron. Then use thy maste/s toogue with re-
verence,
Nor waste it in thine own loquacity.
But briefly, and at lar^c, declare thy message.
Her. Suspend a-while, great Chrononhotoa-
thologos,
The fate of empires and the toils of war ;
And iu my tent let's quaff Phalemian wine,
Till our souls mount and emulate the gods.
Two captive females, beauteous es-the mora,
Submissivt! to your wishes, court your option.
Ilastc then, great king, to bless ui with your pre*

sence.
Our scouts already watch the wished approach.
Which shall be welcomed by the drum s dread

rattle.
The cannon's thunder, and the trumpet's blast;
While I, in front of mighty myrmidons,
Receive my king in all the pomp of war.

Chron. Tell lum I come ; ray fiying steed pre-
pare:
Ere thon art half on horse-back I'll be there.

[Exeunt.

SCENE IlI^A prism. Tke king of the Anti-
podet ditcovered atUep on a couch.

Enter QuEEK.

Queen. Is this a place — Oh ! all ye gods

above !
This a reception for the man I love i
See in what sweet tranquillity he sleeps,
While nature's self pt his coofinemcot weeps.
Rise, lovely monarch ! see your friend appear,
No ChrononhotonthoI(^os is here ;
Command your freedom, by this sacred ring ;
Then command me : What says my charming

king?
[She putt the ring in his mouthy he bends
the ua-craK and makes a roaring noise.
Qucm. Wliat can this mean ! he lays his feet

at mine.
Is this of love or hate his country's sign ?
Ah f wretched queen ! bow hapless is thy lot.
To love a man that understands thee not !
Oh ! lovely Venu s,f goddess all divine I
And gentle Cupid, that sweet son of thine.
Assist, assist me, with your sacred art.
And ti'acli me to obtain this stranger's heart.

Venut descends in her chariot^ and sings.

AIR.

Vcn. See \'cnas does attend thee.

My ditding, niv dtilding,
Love'b j!f>dde!»s will hi friend thee,

Lilly bright and shiiiee.
With pity and compassion,

My dilding^ my doldif^

She sees thy tender panioo^
Lilly, &c da capo.

AlfL-^hmige$.

To thee I yield my power divine,

Dance over uie lady Lee.
Demand whate'cr thou wilt, 'tis thiae^

My gay lady.
Take this magic wand in hand,

Dance, &a
Alt the world's at diy commandr

My gay, &c. da capo.

Cupid dacendSf amd tingt,
AIR.

Arc you a widow, or are you a wife/

Gilly 6ower, gentle roaemary.
Or are you a maiden, so fair and lO biigbt ?

AsUie dew that flies orec the mulbeny
tree.
Queen. Would I were a widow, as I am a wife !

Gilly flower, &c.
But I'm, to mv sorrow, a maiden as bri^i^

As tne dew, he
Cupid. You shall be a widow before k is uglit,

Gilly flower, Uc.
No longer a maiden so fair and ao bright.

As the dew, &c
Two jolly young husbands joor person Ml
sliare,

Gilly flower, &c.
And twenty nne babies all lovely and Cur,

As the dew, Mc-
Queen. O thanks, Mr Cnpid! for tins jMt
good news,

Gilly flower, &c.
What woman alive wontd sutdi finourt refme?

While the dew, &c.
[Venus atid Cupid re-ascend ; the queen got*

off, and the king of the Antipodes J4-

tows, walking on M hmn<k.

SCENE IV.— BoHBARDiNiAii's teai.

King and BouBAADtjiiAii at a table, with tw«
ladies.

Bom. This honour, royal sir, ao royaluet
The royalty of your most royal action^
Tlie dumb can only utter furth your prais*;
Fur we, wlA> speak, want words to CeUoor iDenh

ing.
Here ! fill the goblet with Phaleraiaii wine,
And, while our monarch drinks^ bid the ahritt

trumpet
Tell all the c^ods, that we propinc their healthi

King. Hold, Bombardiiiian ! I esteem it 6^
With so much wine, to eat a little biL

Bom. See that the table iustaoUy be spread

\
I

I

I

Caret.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

A"

With all that art ud nalore c«n prodace.
Travcrw from pole to pole ; sati round the

globe.
Brine trcnr euable that can be eat :
The bog Am cat, though all nutikiml be starv-

CeoL I am afraid his majesrv will be sinned,
Ixfbre I cm run r<iiiiid the world, for a dinner ;
bpjileti wher*'s tlw money f

King. Ha ! do«t thou prattU;^ contumncious
«Inrp ?
GuanU, acixe the viiUm ! brnil him, fry hiu), stew

him;
Oanelvea shnll cat him ntit of mere rcventic.

CowJL O, pray your majesty, Bpant my life ;
dwfv's Mmr nice trohl purk iit tlic pantry: I'll
bMh it lor yuiir iitMjoty in a miiiutr.

Chfon. Re liirm lir»[ ha^ihcd in hell, audncions
slave !

JKitU hint, and turns to BoMiiAKDrvtAN.
pork ! UkiII ChruniHiliu{iitiltH>ti>^09
Be fed with 9wine\ Ilc»li, and at «ecund-tt»iid ?
N<nv, by the gods ! thou dn->x insult tis, general .'
BiNH. ITie eiids cau witnc»», tliitt I tittle
thought
Yoor maje^T to other flc^ than this
Had aagbt tbe least propensity,

[PwHtt to the ladiet.
King, Is lhi« a dinner for a hitn^y monarch?
Ann. Uooarcfas as great as Cbronoohotontbo-

lofOSi
Hare mode a rory ticarty mcnl of worw.
King. Un ! Tmitor f dost ihou brave mc to
my teeth '
Take ibu reward, aod Icaro to mock tliy mnAter.

[Striken Mm.
Bam. A blow ! »liaU Drjinbardiuinn lakr a
blow'
Blu!h '. Dhisik. thoa sun ! Start bock, thou rapid

ocean !
HiUi* mle»! aeai! tnountaiiu ! all commiting,

miroble.
Ami into cliooi pulrerixe the world ;
Fur Uombordiiuan has rccei\-ed o blow,
AiKi ChrtmonhotODtbologo* ehall die. [ Dram.
[TV BMIWM run off crifing, Helji, Mnr-
dtr, ire.
Ki»f:. U'hat mran« the traitor?
B OM. Tnuinr, in tby teeth !
Tboi I dei'v thee !

[T/trv fight : he kiHt the king.
Ha ! WluU have rdii)c>
Ca, coU a comdxy and let n cooch be called ;
And let tbo nrna that (-r1I» tt be iKc caller;
Arnl, in hi« coUinK, let him nothina call,
But coach ! coach ! coach ! Oh f for a coach}

ye gods!

I Krit raving.

Heturtu uilh a D<Klor,

How (*TV» your mftjwty?

i>oc. My lorrf, he's df&d.
Bom. Ha! dead! iinpiissihle ! it cannot 1>e !
f would not believe it, tbou)ch liim^lf tthould

sHi'i\r it.
Go,jO]ii hi^ body to l)if> <toul He;njn,
Or^ by this, lii^ht, thy soul shall quit itiy bnriy !
Uiic. My loni, he's for beyond ihu power of
phyMC ;
His soul has left his body, and this world.

Bum. Then go to the utlicr world and fetch iC
back. [KilU hiti.

And, if I find thmi triflcst with me (iicre,
I'll cliose thy shade tbruiicb mvriadfi of orbs,
And dri»-e tlicr far beyond tlic verge of iiutiirc.
Ila! Call'sl titou, Chronoohotonthnlti^iii?
t come ! y>/ur faithful Bombnrdiniuu cijme»!
lie comes, in worlds unknown, to mukc new

wars.
And gain thcc empires numcroui as the stars.

{KilUAmieff.

Enter Qtrr.EM ami othrrw.

Altti. O horrid ! horrible ! and borridest hor-
ror !
Our kine ! our general t our conk ! oar doctor !
All Head! stone dead ! irrcvf>cably dead I

Oh I [Ait gronn, a tmgattf groan.

Queen. My husband dead ! Yc gods ! What
is't you mean,
To mnkc a widow of a virj;in queen ?
For, to my great nii^afortuue, he, poor king,
Has left roe so; is not that a wrctcbed thing?
Tat. Why, then, dear mndnm ! moke no far-
ther poihcr.
Were I your majesty, I would try another.
Qeeen. I think 'tis best to fallow thy udvtcc.
Tat. I'll fit you wirli a hukLuud ii> a trice :
Here's R(gdum-r<iiinidos a proper man;
If any one chii plnnc a queco, he can.

Rig. Ay, that L can, and please your ma)e«ty.
So, ccfCinouiei apart, k-t us proceed to busuirss.
Quern. Oh ! but the muumiDg takes up all
my care ;
I am nt a tuss what kind of weeds to wear.

Hig. Never tnlk of mourning, madam.
One ounce of mirth is worlb a pound of sorrow.
Let US bed to-night, and Ojcn we'll »cd to-mor-
row.
I'll make thee n great maOf my little Phosco-
phorny. \Tu Ainr. aujr.

AldL I scorn yoar bonnty ; Hi be king, or no-
thing,
Draw, miscreant ! draw !

Rig, No, »ir, Dl take the law.

[Rum hvhind thn Queen.
Queen. Well, gentleiucn, to make tile matter
easy,
ni bare you both ; and thai^ I liope will pleasf

¥e.
And DOW, Tatlauthe, Uwu art all my oro;

9t

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Caset.

Where shall I find thee wadi anodier pair?
Titj that you, who*Te serred 00 long 00 well,
Should die a vir^, and lead apes in hdL.
Choose for yoonelf, dear prl, our empire round,
Your portion is twelve hundred tbonsand poutkL
jUdL Here ! take Oiese dead and bloody corpse

Make prmaralioa for oar wedding-diy.

Instead of sad solemnity, and falad^

Our hearts shall swim in claret, and in sack.

f Krrwtf omwfc

DRAMATIS PERSONA

MEN.
OiTUVB, a young barrister, in love with Ae-

1£LLA.

MicKwoaH^ ujtcU ani/ guardian to Armclla.
SinsuLt, m country 'iquirtt intcndtd for Ak-

BUXA.
SLitOQ^ KTMRf to Caylove, an arfhfelloK.
Blitbdu, tcTTHtnt to Sapskvll, 0 cioKn.

WOMEN.

Abbella, iviere to Muckworh> in hoe with

Caylove.
CoitD8.u»ii, Act maidj a pert (me.

Setnt—A country viUage.

ACT L

%£NE L — An opaWmffU m Mdckwobn's
Aoiuc.

£ffr<r AXRELLA dfUf COMBRUSn.
AIR. — Set btf SlCXtOR PoilPOBA.

ir. GcKTLc Cupid ! sedc mjr lover,
Waft « thouHuid whs from mc !
All nnp tender Tears itiscorer,

Bid him Jiftsic !- —
O bid him ba*ce, &od set me free !

C«ibr«b>

Cm. Us'iun!

Ar. No iwwa from Cajlovc jet?

Cm. Nnt K little, rna'tim.

Ar. It quite dtitracts mc t

Cfl«. And otry Ijody else, tnn'iun ; for when
T^oue out of humour, oiu- may as u-ell hfi out
*' tlie wofldL Well, tJui love 19 a htnugu thing ;

when once it gets possession of n voui^ laAy'n
heart, it turns her hpari quite taps)*-tijnry, and
makes Iht out of bumuur with every body ■
I'm burc [ have reason to say »o.

Ar. Prithee leave your noDseose, Rod tell me
somethiiig of Caylote.

Com. All I can icU you, ma'am, is, that be is
atark staring mad, for lore of you. But this con-
founded uncle of yours

Ar. What of him?

Com. Una just rcceircd news of tbc arrival of
a ricti country !»quiro out of York&hirc ; -wbkh
country Mjuire is cut out for your husband.

Ar. They that cut a busbund out for mt, ahaU
cut him out of better stuiT, I assure you.

AIR— /a vain, dear Ckloe.

j^liall T stand iJ.ilt and tamely w^
Such Smitfafield burgcuns made of me ?

94

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Cabkt.

Ib not my heart my own ?
I hate, I scorn their clownish squircj
Nor lord, nor duke, do I desire.

But bun I love alone.

Cota. Well Bfud, m^'am ; I lors m woman of
spirit.

AIR. — Hark away! 'tit the merry toned Aont.

Why !^ould women so much be controuled }
Why should men with our rights make so bold ?
Let the battle 'twixt sexes be tried,
W^ stiall soon prove the strongest side.

Tlien stand to your arms,

And uust to your charms.

Soon whining and pining,

The men wilf pursue;

But if Ypu grow tame.

They'll but make you their game,
And prove perfect tyrants

If once they subdue. [£reunt.

SCENE II.— A street near the houie.

Enter Gayiove and Slamgo.

Cay. No way to get at her i

Slang. The devil a bit, sir; old Muckworm
has cut oS* all communication : But I have worse
news to tell you yet.

Gay. That's impossible.

Slang. Your mistress is to be married to ano-
tltcr, and that quickly.

Gay. Married ! you surprise me — to whom ?

Slang. To 'squire Sapskull, a Yorkshire geniie-
man, ol a very great estate.

Gay. Confusion! Can she be so false? To
Snpskull ! I know him well, of Sapskull-Hall —
I WHS bom within a mile and a half of the place ;
his father is the greatest rc^e in the county, the
very man I ain now suing for what my late bro-
Uier mortgaged to him, when I was student at
Cnmbridge. Is he not content to withhold my
right from me, but he must seek to rub me of the
only happiness I desire in life?

AIR.— The charm of Fhrirnl

My charming Anibetl,

Vo make thee mine secure.

What would not I endure !
^is past the power of tongue to tell,
The love I bear my Arabell.

No human force shall quell

My pas!>ion for my dear.

Can love be too smcere ?
I'd sooner take of life farcwel,
Then of my dearest Arabell.

!■ ifaere no way to prevent this matdi 7 You were
not used to be thus barren of invention.

Slang. Nor am I now, tar; your humble ser-
vant has invented already — and such a scheme !

Gay. How ! which way, dear Slango t

Slang. Why thus imust personate Arbel-

la, (with this sweet face) and yoo her ancle, un-
der which disguises we may intercept the countrr
'sauire, and get his credenuals; equipt with
which 1 leave yoo to cuess the rest.

Gay. Happy invention T Success attend it !

Slang. I can't say Amen, though i'd do any
thing to serve Tuu. Do you know the result, sir r
no less than the forfeiture of your dear liberqr.
Have you forgot the song of Ilie Dog and tbo
Bone?

AIR^— ITAen the bright god of d^.

Whoe'er to a wife

Is linked for his life.
Is placed in a wretched condition :

Tliough i^ued with her tridu,

Like a blister she sticks.
And death is hit only pfaysiciao.

To trifle and toy,

May give a man joy.
When summoned by lOTC^ or by bean^;

But, where is the bliia in

Our conjugal kissing.
When passion is prompted hj dvtj I

The cur who possessed

Of mutton the best,
A bone he coold leave at his pleamre :

But if to his tail

Tis tied, without fail,
He's harassed and plagued beyond met-.
sure.

Gay. I am now of a contrary opinion ; Vim
looks so hateful, and virtue so amiable iamy
eye, especially as 'tis the ready rond to tnie hap-
piness, I am resolved to pursue its paths. A !*■
guiar Ufa, and a good wire for me.

AIR. — Anncer to the above $ong.

To tie tatne tune.

That man, who for life

Is blest in a wife,
Is sure in a happy condition ;

Go things how tbejr will.

She sticks by him still,
She's comforter, friend, and physidan.

Pray, where is the joy.

To trifle aud toy.
Yet dread some disaster from beauty f

But sweet is the bliss,

Of a conjugal kiss,
Where love mingles pleasore vtith doty.

Carey.]

BlllTiSH DRAMA.

One extraragiiat wbore,

Shall oosl a man more,
Tbaa twenty good mivcs wlio an saving ;

For wivci (Sey will ^p«re,

TliBt ih«ir children may share,
fiut wbores are ctemully craving.

[Ercunt.

SCENE UL—Another itrctt.
*£a(er Sapskvll and Blcrder, staring about.

Sap. Waiu-lcnt! what ■ mnrtil hij; place this
MBDe Loockwi ife ! yc mun ne'er mx cud on't,

foTBurc HouscQ u^n bouKn« folk upoo f'flk

oat would admire wbcrc tliejr did grow-
all of 'em.

BiMm. Aj, master, and this is nouj;!it to what
joo'll sec an by; and ye go tn Timer yc iiiiji)
we pTttt hugcnus 5hi[is us tall as tiuuM-ii : Ttit-n
yc mun fo to playhaiuen, and there be nu Icb^
nor flii of ihem, a hopeful cmopaiiy ; u' my run-
■oenoe ! Tttere you'U MC your comical trage-
dies, and your uproars, and ruratunbu6'!c-% itnj
hear Fardinello, that sines Solfa bcttitr nor our
tntnittff chmr men : And more nor tliat, y*e mua
W jrour choice of the pmtiiest lusses, ye e'er sex
e'en «a.

S^p. By the mass, and I'll be somebody nmons:
tbeot — So I nill— hut botv mun we find out this
Mine air Fi'iiuriou* Muckwonn ?

Hijin. Yc luun look to letter for that.

Stp. Leitcr eajs, C-r-o-ft (imz-Tc-n-c-r, near

Grm^ciicer vjiiarc; but huiv uiuii yc kiiuw

wbcrc tbi* Mine Grmveuccr squire h f

Biiai. Why ye mun a»k ostler fur that, lic'll
aet^xiunjlht fur tturc : I'Vir your LiHidoii ustU-ni
vcwiwr by half thau ourcouiitrvjustiuscs.
S*p. Ay, BluitdcT, e*ery thing'* fine in Loti-

AlR^Xow/on M o^ne toaa.

O London Is a Hunty plac^

A great and ^illniit city,
For all the street* arc pavtd with gold.

And alt the folLs arc witty.

And ther***! yoar lords and ladies fine,

Ttiat ride in coach and aix,
lliat niilhiiig ilriiik but claret wioe,

And ulk. of politico

And there's your beuux^ willi |>owderc<l
cltiaihs.

Bedaubed from bend to chin ;
llicir piiciet \vt\ci iitlarnvd with gold,

Bat not iiOK suitse nitbin.

Ami ibcn't the Eui'lish actor goes

With iHHiiv a btin);ry belly,
Wtulc beapi of {luld urv forced, God ivut,

Oa aiguior f arriDeUi.

And there's your damei^ of dainty frames,

With &Lins OS white a» tiiilk,
Drc«t every duy, in gnrmeots gay,
Ufsalip, mid ol nilk.

And if your mind be so inclined.

Til hare tlium in your nnni.
Pull out a liaiidaniuc purM of gold,

Tlicy can't rositt its charms.

Enter GayLOVEf OS MuckwoRU.

Cav. Wulcoiuc to IjonAtm, dear !K|utre Sap-
skull r I hope vour good father i> ivellj aud all at
Sapsliull-hall? *

Sap. Did ye e'er hear tlic like, Dluiidcr? Ttiis
old geutlemau knows me as well iii I know my-
self. [Atitit In Blu.nueo.

Hiun. Ay, lontter, yuu Londuiiers know erory
thins.

Guy. I bad letters of your ctiroiogf and was
rcsolvfd to meet you.

Sap. Pray, sir, who mny you be, an* I may be
so bold f

Gaff. My name, sir, is Mucksvorrn.

Sap. What, Mr Penurious Muckworm?

Gay. So llicy c:dl mc.

Sap. Sir, if yourname be sir Penurious Muck-
n-onn, my name is Samuel Sa^Mkiill,Jun. ch{. sou
uf ail' Samuel Sitpskull, of SapskuU-ball, in tltc
Eatt Hiding of Yurkshire.

Gay. Sir, I nm no .itran^er to yoor family aud
merit ; fur which reBtoii 1 xeiil fur you to luvin,
to tnnriy my uiece widi fiOOOl. forturw, and a
preitv t;irl iiitu ilic bari;nin.

Blun. Look yc there, master!

[Aiide to Bldhdeb.

Sap. liuld ymirpeiM:e, you btocklicad !

[Atidt to SaP5E1i|,I..

Gay. But how mav I be sure, timt you are tba
very squire Supskull I seat for? lla\-e you do
letters no crcdentiiilii f

Sap. Open the portinantell, Olnnder Yes,

«ir, I ha' bmuf^ht all my tarklu with me. Here,
iu; is a letter from father. [Gtvcs a tetter.] Ami
here, sir, ,Brc deeds and writlni^s to shew what
yuu muit ha' tu trust lu ; And brre, sir, i-s mar-
riaB;c-t>ctllemeiH, stignud bv nithcr. in fit case
youns gentlewoman and I bkc» nnv nnotlicr.

Gay. Sir, she can't drn'tc but aduirt- no diann-
inx u I'crsun. There is but ouc oUatacle that I
ko')w uf.

Slip. WliAt mav lliat be, mi I may be so bold?

Guy. Your habit, sir ; your hnbii.

•Sap. Why, sir, 'twa^ rouiiud wmitlnius /iue in
our (.uuniry last purleiurnlecrin^ time.

G'ly. O, vf, but it's old fashiuntd now, and
my niece i(>v«« every thing to tlie ti|>-tiip -if tlie
mode. But if you'll gfi alon^ with mc, I'U equip
you in an instant.

96

BRTTCSH DRAMA.

[CimBT.

Ant-Stt hf the maitr.

C<me BtOitTp By cpootiy ti|uif^
Take ftiendl j inacracttOB £7 ne ;

The lordf «ImU adnfc

TIt tMte in attiRi,
The iMfaei ri»D bnBDMh for Aee.

CBOEVS.

Such flimthifr
GaDuiiia^
And j«nnhnfr
Such frolickinKtboa d^b see,
Tboo De^er uke«dowi^
Shalt qoit Loocion xfcet loini.
To lire in tbme own oooncrj.

A Aiouning diili fast proTide,
Widli little more brim than lace.
Nine hain on a lid^
To a a^t tail tied.
Will MC offdiT joUj broad face.
Socn fiamitiiib &c:

Go, get thee a footman's frodc,
A co^el quite up to thj noe^
loen frb like a Aock,

And nbMls thy UodE,
And bocUethy ifaoa at thy toOL
Snch fantai^ acd

A braoe of bnes fav*
To |ihawri thee AnD enife^
la a dMuiee and pur.
They limU take the air,
Aad dbon in the bos ifanlt iBitd
Sodi flanndofr &C.

CoBvett ti^ acres to cmh.
And aaw thy timhcr-Creej down,
Who would keep Midi tra^
And not CDt a iuh.
Or enjoy the delitfiti of dw town.

caoBink
Sodi Auntia^
Galhtniiii^
And jaontin^
Sodi froIk&iiM; iboa Aalt lee,
Tboo ne'er bke a down
Shall quit LondoD sweet town.
To live in dnne own coontry.

[fffir.

ACT IL

SCENE I^-^ji apartment.
Emter Abbella and Combbcsh.

AIB Set Jy tke euthor.

Art. Id ram yon mentioo pleanre.
To one coof u&ed like me,
Ab, what is wealth or treastir^
Conpared to liberty f

O thoo, for whom I laogniih.
And dost the nme fw me,

Retiete a viripn's anguish.
And set a captive free.

Enter Hdckwobm.

AfarA. Come, there's a good ^rl, don't be
in the pouts, now.

Com. I think it's enough to put any yooi^ la-
dy in the pouts, to deny her the man she likes,
find force her to marry a ^reat looby Yorkshire
tike. In sbc»t, sir, my mistress don't like bim,
and won't have him. Nay, I don't like him,
and tell yoa flat and plain she shan't hare him.

Muck. Shan't bare him, Hre Scuup-Dragon !

Com. No, dnn't hare luni, ar ; if I were die,
J would see who should fotct me to marry a-
gainst my will.

Muck. Was ever sudi an impudent hoiqr !

But rU send you padiii^ Get oat of my bouse,
you saoCT banage !

Arb. Sir, thon^ you have the care <^ my es-
tate, you have no command over my servants :—r
I am your ward, not your slave ; if yon use me
thus, youll constrain me to chwe another goar-
dian.

MiuiC [Aside.] A grp*? • *^ taught her
this cunning t I must hasten this match, or lose
lOOOl. by the bargain. [DjAbb.] Wbatafaostle
is here with a peevish love-sick girl ! Pray> diild,
have yoa learnt Cupid's catMfaism? Do yon
know what love is ?

Arh. Yes, sir

AIB.— &< fry rAe nfAor. .

Lore's a ^otle generous paMDon,
Source of all sablime m'ight^

When, wiUi mutual iodinaticHi,
Two fond hearts in one unite.

What are titles, fnmp or ikfaes,
If compared with true content f

That false joy which now bewitdies,
When obtained we may rqwnt.

Lawless passion brir^ relation.
But a chaste and txmstant love>

Is the glfmous emulation.
Of the bliafal state above;
9

Caket.]

BRirrSH DRAMA.

«f

I

I

£ii(«r a Servant.

Ser. Sir. oue sqoire $««pskull, out of York-
ahin, dnim to tpvnk wittt yuu.

Almrk. I 5fn f^ttd bc'k come — desire him to
walk in.

[Servant :roet out,mndrtturnsmith Git-
(ovr, i/rrtnc</ in S\rsKV\.i''» cloihvt.
G«v. Sir. wC jtour nnme be tir reuuriou^

Murk. Sir, I h»vc nn other; mnjr I crave
yoar* f

Gajf. Samuel SapskuH, jun. ciq. at jrour lorti-
ship'* jcrviL-e.

Mm^k. A 9vrj mnnocrly, tOMrmrillv viutS, ami
■ cnnielv one, I n^vurc yoti. [ To Ahrklla.

G«v I'riiy, Mr, an' I nwv lir «» (»«I(f, wliicti of
thewD two pretty buses i» your niece, aad my
wife, that iniiii be ?

Ar. WtKit ■ bnile is thi* * BrCorc J wnnld
hwe »och n viretcU lor a hii>buml, I would die
ten thnnsiind dcntliii,

Stvek. Whirh do TiHi lihe be«C, sir?

Cay. Murry, nn' I were to ebti^e, t would take
tbein UkIi.

iSmtk. Vcrv cnortlf, indeed. I 5ec the iiquire
ia a waig.

Cm*^ Birth ! ril avtirc ^ou, oauev-bm ! tbc
»onc is ttM good for you.

AIR-— Gi//y:/lowiT, ;mt/r nifeiwary.

Whv hnw nnir, sir Clown, rlott set up for a

»nt ?
Oilly-flimer, centle rowinnrv :
If Ik re ynn ^mld wed V'hi ure eertninlv bit,
As ibe (ieiv it llies ttvcr th« mullwrry tri-c.

Jf wirh a fine Indv to wife y«in sbfiuld take,

Gill\-rt.iinT, i:L-nile m*euiufy'-

Ywu- heart, bead, and born*, fthall a^ certaJnlv

Nke.
As ihe dew it (lies o»er the mulberry tree.

_ Jtfarfc. InmSbTahle HKuraoce ! nifront o ^rii*
I in Bjr houw ! Nertr mind brr, sir ; %\\v'n
I of my niecv ; onlv n pert sbit nf a chuntber-
■Hit

t»«y, A rliambcr-jwic!^— -Lord, Lord, bow
■tte fou keep your maidei>« here in Londmi I
WuKent. alive as fine as our lady iuay<>ri'<»s.

tbuk- AVi hor rtiistreft!* »|>i>ils her; but ful-
■* me, Mr, mid I'll w.-irniiit yuu^ w«*ll manage
W, ud htf mucrcM» too.

ASSU—Set &y the attlhor.

C«f. I am in iruih,

A citiuitry ^tiulh,
Uauactl (o lUinJoii fa«luon*; -

t tirttjc gaidM^ ^^^^h

And itill prcsidrs,
O'er nil ray itcpx and ftassioosi

No courtly leer.

But all sincere,
No bribe shall ever blind me ;

If you can like

A V'ork&bire like.
An bunc«t Ind you'll find me.

I'linni^h Envy's lungue,

With tiluidcr hunii:.
Does lift bely our oiuiity ;

No men on enrih,

Boast invaior worth.
Or mnre extend their bountyi

Our norlliem breeze,

\N ith usimrees
And d»c3 Tor business fit us;

In public carcSf

In love's afliiin,
With honour we acfjuit us.

A nohle mind.

Is ne'er cuiiliiicd
To BnT ^hirc, or oiiiton ;

He zrtins mnsi prRisCi

VVbri Iic5t ili^iilnys
A geiienius educutiun.

While rancour rouls.

In ii.irri>w souls.
By n-jrfdw views diwemin^

Tlie tridy wise

Will unly prize
Good manners, sense, nnd leaniin^.

yAll thi» time OaYtoVE doet Ms nhmikt to
difcorrr httnsflf to ARnrt.i.A, but the
turntfrom him, and Kont underttand

him.]

Gay. Well, nn ye wunna see, I cannot help (L
Go Ml-bve to ye, forjujoth; in the mean lime, here's
n piiiHT with hoinetliing in it that will dear yonr
ladyship*!) ey«-»isbt.

[Thiva's don-n 0 letter, and crit tmll'mg.

Ar. W nat ran ihe fn«l uitflu }

Comb. [TakiHg up the feller.] Mndnm, as I
live, lirre» a letlir from Mr OayUi»'C !

Ar. Tbii is Miqtniiitii!. [Snatchei the tetter, and
read*.] ' 'I'houiili riiis di^icoinc i» put on to blind
* )ild Muckwinmi, I hitpo ii will not cunceni froni
' my dear Arbclln, the person ot her ever ctmstant

' iJAVLOVE.'

Blind fnol ibut I was ! I could tear my eyes out !

L'omh. bird, mud JIM ! who t<>e deuce could hav«
LiHMJtbt it hnd Urn Mr t;iiY'"ve?

Ar. Mold your pnitllc ! t ba»e prenl hopes of
this entcrpri'ie. JKinrver; it a&me4 a pMKi (nee
with it ; but, \« briber it succeedft or no, I muitt.
luvc the dear mau, that ventures so banl fur mj
sukc.

98

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Carey.

AIR.— Set by the author.

That man, who best can danger dare,
Is most deservii^ of the fair;
The bold and brare we women prize;
Hk whining slave we all demise.

Let coxcombs flatter, cringe, and He,
Pretend to languish, pine, and die ;
Such men of words my scoru shall be ;
The man of deeds is the man for me.

[Exit.
Comb. My mistress is eudrely in the right on't.

AIR. — I had a pretty laUf a tenant of my oan.

The man that ventures fairest,
And furthest for my sake,
With a fal, la), h^ &&

The soonest of my purse.
And my person shall partake.
With a fal, lal, la> &c.

No drowsy drone diall ever

A conquest make of me.
But to a lad that's clever.

How civil could Ibei

With a fal, lal, la, &c.

[Exit Comb.

SCENE V.

Enter Sapseull, dre$t a-la-mode de petit maitref
Blunder in a rich livery, tcitk his hair tucked
lip, and pondered behind.

Biun, Mess, master, how 6ne ye be ! marry,
believe me, an ye were at Sapskull-hall, I dare
My, sir Samuel himself would hardly know ye.

iSop. Know me ! marry, I don't know myself
— [Surveying hinue/f.] — I'm so fine : And thou
art quite another sort of a creature, too. — [Tumi
Blunder about.] — Well, talk what ye list of
Yorkshire, I say there's nought like London ; for
iny part, I dont care an I ne'er see the face of
Si^kull-hall agen.

jBlund. What need ye, an ye getten 60001.
with young geutlewomanf besides, rather has
ty'd estate fast enough to ye.' ■ ■ An I were as
Te, Fd e'en bide here, and lire as bfty as the
pest o* 'em.

Enter a Servant^ well dreaaed.

Ser. Gentlemen, I com^ from nr Penurious
Muckworm. I am his servant, and wait on pur-
pose to conduct you to Mrs Arbella^ apartment.
. Sap. Servant V Wauods, why, you're finer nor
your master!

Ser. 0, sir, that's nothing in London. [Exeunt.

SCENE VI.— An apartment.

Slango representing Arbella, Servant intro*
dating Sapskull and Blunder.

Sap. Well, forsooth, you know my bunneas;
few words are best among friend> la it a

march, or no? Say ay, and I'll second you.

upon me !

Sap. I means to be quicker yet, ay marry, and
make thee quick, too, before 1 ha' done with
tliee.

Slango. I protest, sir, you put me to such a
nonplus, I don't know what to say.

Sap. Ne'er heed ; parson shall teach thee what
to say. For my part, I ha' con'd my lesson afor^
band!

Slango. But will you lore me i

Sap. Love thee ! Lord, Lord, I loves thee bet-
ter than I does my bay filly ! did ^u ne'er see
her, forsooth? Od, stie's e dain^ bt, and sure I

am 1 loves her better nor I do nown father.

Blunder, run and fctrh a parson.

Slango. Mr Blunder may save himself that
trouble, sir ; I have provided one already.

Sap. Why, then, let's make haste, dear sweet
honey; for I long till it's over. [£raiaf.

SCENE VIL

Enter Oaylove and Aebella.

AIR.— &/ by the author.

Gay. Thou only darlii^; I admire.

My hearts delight, my soul's denre I
Possessing Uiee, I've greater store,
Than king to be of li^ia's ^ore.

For every woman were there three.
And in the world no man but me,
I'd single you from all the rest.
To sweeten life, and make me Uest !

Ar. Well, I never was so deceived in my Efe !
How could you clown it so naturally?

Gey. What is it I would not do for your dear
sake f But, I intreat you, let's lay liold of this
opportunity, and put it out of fortune's power
ever to divide us.

Ar. What would you hare me do?

Gay. Leave all to me. I have left Combroah
to amuse your uncle, while a fellow-coltegiate of
mine, who is in orders, waits in the next room
to finish the rest

Ar. Do what you will with me : For, in shorty
I don't know what to do with mvself.

Caekt.!

BRITISH DRAMA.

6^

AlUv— TW nifmph that untiitet mt

Ari. Let firnH**« mad coquettes ilicir intcnBons

ooneeol ;
Witfa prirlPf and with pleuure, the truth I

icvctil ;
YouW all 1 can nish, ant] nit I (le»tr«;
So fixed u my nattiP^ it ne'er con expire.

Gay. Let mkc4 ood libertines rcrel and ran^e :
Pofacsned of such treasure^ what inonni

wunid change;
You're the soarcc of m; hopns, the spring

ofnijTJoy,
A (ountaiB of blisa thai nuver can cloy.

AIR^fiy Mr Handel

Gatlovc wui AaaEtLA together.

How tran^portif^ n the pleasure.
Whet] two heart« like our'« unite !

Wheu our fondness knows imj measure,
And DO boaods our dror delight.

[Extant.

£nt<r MvcKWOEH antf CoMBKt;9B.

Mmrk, Well, 1 foniivc vou : Tlits last action
tat made amends for all. I find a cliambcr-
Mid 14 pnme minititer in malrimnnial a^iiirii
• Ami vou say, they arc quite loving ?

Comh. Pond, fond, ^r, at two turtles ! But I
\tf% fou nrmild nnt diittirh them.

Mack. By 00 incain; l«t them have their love
Mt, pretty foots ! I shall be glad, howerer, to
W toros of their little r<H)dneflset: But tell mc
lefiotnly, hovr do v-iu like the 'dquire i

Com. Oh ! of all things, &ir; and so docs mr
■uttma, I assure you.

Afacft. How tliat sciMindrel Gaylove will be
^p^uiited.

Cm6. Hell b« ready to hang himself — nhout
W aedc [JitVe-

iSiuk. Theyll mnke haltods upon him.

Cmft. I have made uiic already, and will sing
itif lou please.
Sluk. With all mj heart.

Alft^-il ieggor got a teedlt^

Thtrt was a oerum usurer,

He had a pretty niece>
Wak courted by a banister.

Who was bcr doating piece.
liar ancle, to prevent the aaiM,

Did all that in hiin lay ;
Fur which he*& very much to bhune,

Ai alt good people tay.

A countjy 'squire wai to wed
This fair aod dainty dame ;

But such contraries in a bed.
Would Ih. a inunsirous shane :

To see n l&dy bright vnd nay,
Of fortune, ami iifchanns.

So •ihatucfully Ire tbrowo fewaj,
Into a looby's arms.

Tlic lovers, thui distracted.

It M:t ihem OD a pUn ;
WItlcrh Intelv hiu been acted.

And .^Sall I tell you what?

Tlie centleman dis!;u''**'d himself

IJke to the otuntry '^uirc.
Deceived the old mischievniis elf,

And gnt his tinu-t's desire.

Muck. T don't like this song.
Comb. Tlicn you don't like tnitli, sir.
Murk. Wliiii ! d'ye mean to affront me?
durtb. Would you have mc tell a lio, sir?
Muek. GA out of ray hou^c. you basi^agc!
Comb. I onlv star to take my niialrcss nitb
ntc ; and icc, here she comes.

Enter Gaylove and Aebglla.

Muck. So, mr; you have deceived me: Uit
I'll provide you a weddiD{;-9uit; a fiue long Chau-
cery suit, before ever you touch a penny of bcr
rortunc.

Gaif. Sir, if you dnre embezzle a furthiitjr, I'll
pruvitlf vou with a more Inking i;armenl ; a m*
rioui stone doublet : You have met with your
matrb, nir; I have ftudied the law, ay, and prac-
itw'i) it tnu.

Muck. 'Vhe devil take you aod the law toge-
ther!

E«*fr 8.tPftKt.'it.,SiikNCO, and Dlu.sdei.
Hpy^ny ! Who tn the name of wonder have we
got ln:re?

Grttf. Only aquire SnpbkuU, his bride, and boo-
hily man.

Slang. Come, inv dear ! hold up ymir head
like n luaii, and let diciu see what an elegant
hui^lmnd I have t^.

Blun. Ay; and let them iCc tvlnt a dainty
wife my master has gotten.

Sap. Hure'i a pnwcr nf Que folk, sweet honey
wife ! pmv. who may thev be ?

Slang. 1riii>K hir, is »ir I^enurioas MuckMonu.

Snp. No, hitney ! I fear you are muitakrn.
Sir Fcnurious is au<nhcr guiite Mrt of a man;
no I mistake not, tte's more liker yon same gen-
di-man.

htun. Av> so he is, ma&ter.

Slang, 'that same gentleman was sir Penu-
rious .Muckworm Mime time ago, but now he's
chitnged to George Gaylbve, esquire.

Gif/. At your service, rir.

&I/J, .\nd who's yoQ hue lady ?

Gay. My wile, sir, aod that worthy kiught^ft
luece.

too

BRITISH DRAMA.

CCasbt.

Sap. Your nifie, and dut worth; VnightTs niece ?
why, who a mutrain bave 1 gotten, then i

Gay. My man^ Slango ; and I wish yon much

joy -

Sap. Your man Slango ! wha^ have I married
a man, then i

Slango. If ^ou don't like me, my dear, we'll
be divorced this minute.

Sap. My dear ! a murrain take such dears !
Where's my writings i Til ha' you all hanged for
cheats!

Gay. You had better hang yourself for a fool.
Go home, child, go home, and learn more wit.
There's your deed of a settlement ; but, as for the
writings, they happen to be mine, and kept frau-
dulently from me by your father, to whom they
were mortgaged by my late brother. The estate
has been dear these three yean. Send prour fa-
ther to me, and I'll talk to him. This w tit for
tat, young gentleman ! Your father wanted to

get my estate from me, and I havetgot the wife
e intended for you. All's fair, ur.
Muck. I say all's foul, and a damned cheat !
and so I'll make it appear. [Exit in a rage.

Gay. Do your worst, wr; you can't unmarry
us.

AIR.— &J by the author.

Ar.

Now fortune is past its severest,
M^ passion, of mortal's sincercst.
Kind Heaven has repaid in my dearest ;

What gifts can it greater bestow ?
Gi^. True love shall, through destiny, guide us,
Still ccmstant, whatever betide us,
There's nothing but death shall divide us,

So &ithful a fondness we'll show.

Both, By Cupid and Hymen united.
By danger no longer affiighted,
We'll live in each other deluhted.
The grei^test of blessings below.

Sap. What mun I do? I mun ne'er tee father's
face again.

Gay. Never fnar, squire ; HI set att to rigbts;
thuugh ynur father's my enemy, I'm not yours :
My hoube shall be your home, till I have recon-
ciled you to vour father ; and, for the honour of
Yorkshire, I'll see you shan't be abused here.

Sap. Say ye so, sir ? then I viish you much joy
with ail my heart !

BluH. Ay, and so does Bluniler, too.

Sap. Well, sin I see yon be so happy in a wif^
I'll not be lung without one, I assure you.

Gay. You can't be happier than 1 wish you.

Gay.

Sap.

AIIU-5ef by the author.

cKoitrs.*

Come leam by this, ye bachelors.

Who lead unsettled lives.
When once ye come to serious tboi^h^

There's nothii^ like good wives.

Come leam by this, ye maidens fur|-

Say I advise you well,
You're better in a husband's arm^

Than leading apes in belL

A batchelor's a cormorant,

A batchelor's a drone.
He eats and drinks at all men's cost,

But seldom a,^ his own.

Comb. Old maids and fusty batchelors,
At marriage rail and lower.
So when the fox could'n't reach the papeii
He cried, they all were sour.

OmfWf. Old maids, &c,

[Exeunt muL

THE

KING AND THE MILLER OF MANSFIELD.

BT

D0VSLE7.

DRAMATIS FERSONiE.

MEN.

Tn KniG.
Tbe Millee.

RiciAmo, the Milkt't im^ attached to Fcggt.
LoKD LuBEWEit, a amrtier.
Cmrtiert gmd Keepen ofthejorttt.

WOMEN.

PEOOT, ledured by Lord Lcrbweli.
Margery, the Mtller't wife.
Kate, tht ilUier'$ daughter.

Seene—Sherwood Forest,

ACT I.

SCENE t— Sherwood Forest.

Enter several Courtiers^ at lost.

\st Comr. Tis horrid dark ! and this wood, I
bdieve, bas neither eod nor side.

Mk CoKr. You mean to get oat at, for we hare
faiod one in, you see.

%i Comr. I wish our good king Harry bad kept
Marer home to bunt ; in my mind, the pretty
bme deer in London make much better sport
thaa the wild ooes in Sherwood forest.

id Cour. I can't tell which way his majesty
went, DOT whither any body is with him or not ;
bat let OS keep together, pray.

itk Cour. Ay, ay, like true courtiers, take care
oToarselTes, whatever becomes of our master.

2d Cour. Well, it's a terrible thing to be lost
in tbe dark.

4tk Cour. It is. And yet it's so common a
case, that one would ntrf think it should he at all
■o. Why we are all of us lost in the dark every
day of oor lives. Koaves keep us in the dark by
^icir cimoiiig^ ud fools by tbeir ignorance. Di-

vines lose us in dark mysteries ; lawyers in dark
caws; and statesmen in dark intngues. Nfty,
the light of reason, which we ao mui-h boast of,
what is it but a dark lanthorn, which just serve*
to prevent us from runninje our nose against a
post, perhaps ; but is no more able to lead us out
of the dark mists of error and ienorance, in which
we are lost, than an ignis Jatuus would he to
conduct us out of this wood.

Ut Coar. But, ray lord, this is no time for
preaching raethinks. And, for all your morals,
iday-ti^ht would be much preferable to this dark-
ness, I believe.

3d Cour. Indeed would it. But come, let ns
go on ; we shall find some house or other by and
by.

4M Cour. Ct)nie along. [£reuRf.

Enter the Kino.

King. No, no; this can be no pnbtic road,
that's certain : I am lost, quite lost indeed. Of
what advantage is it now to be a king ? Night
shews me no respect : I (;annot see better, nor

10«

BRITISH DRAMA.

[DOBSLKT.

walk so well as another man. What is a king?
Is he not wiser than another man f Not without
his cDonsellorSr I plainly find. Is he not more
powerful ? I oft have been told so, indeed ; but
what now can my power coinmand ? Is he not,

freater, and more magnificent i When seated on
is thrune^ and sarrounded with nobtei and flat-
terers, perliaps he may think so ; but when lost
in a wood, alas I what is he but a common man ?
His wisdom knows not which is north, and whidi
is south ; his power a beggar's dog would bark
at; and lus greatness the neggar would not bow
to. And yet, how oft are we puSed up with these
false attnbutes ? Well, in losing the monarch, I
have fonnd the man.

[TAe report of a gun it heard.
Hark ! some villain sure is near ! What were it
best to do f W^ill my majesty protect roe ? No.
Ilirow majesty aside, then, and let manhood do
it.

Enter the Millbb.

Mil. I believe, I hear the rogue. Who's
there?

King. No rogue, I assure you.

Mil. IJttle better, fricnc^ I believe. Who
fired that Kun?

King. Not I, indeed.

Mil. You lie, I believe.

King. Lie ! lie ! how strange it seems to me,
to be talked to in this style. [ Jjufe.] Upon my
word, I don't.

MiL Come, come, Mrrah, confess; yon have
shot one of the king's deer, have not you i

King. No, indeed ; I owe tlie king more re-
spect. X heard a gun go oS, indeed, and was af-
fraid some robbers might have been near.

Mil. I'm not bound to believe tliis, friend.
Prav who are you? what's your name?

King. Name \

Mil. Name ! yes, name. Why you have a
name, have not you ? Where do you come from?
What is your business here ?

King. These are questions 1 have not been used
to^ honest man.

Jtfi/. May be so ; but they are questions no
honest man would be afraid to answer, I think.
So, if you can give roe no better account of your-
self, I shall make bold to take you along with me,
if you please.

King. With you ! what authority have you
to—

MiL The Ung's aothoribr, if I must give you
an atxount, sir. I am John Cockle, the miller of
Mansfield, one of his majesty's keepers in this
forest of Sherwood; and I wilt let no suspected
fcUow pass this way, that cannot pve a better
account of himself than you have done, I pro-
mise yon,

King. I most submit to mj own authori^.

[iliufe.] Very well, tar, I am glad to hear the
kii^ has so good an officer; and since I find yoo
have his authori^, I will give you a better ao*
count of myself, if yon will do me the fftvour to
bear it

Jlfi7. I^s more than yoa deserr^ I bdieve;
but, let's hear what yoa can say for yooradf.

King. I have the hmioor to belong to dw
king, as well as you ; and, perhaps, should be as
unwitlii^ to see any wrong done faim. I cane
down with him to hunt in this forest and, the
chase leading us to-day a great way frvm bone,
I am benighted in this wood, and nave loit mj
way.

MiL This does not sound well ; if you have
been a-hunting, pray, where is your hone i

King. I have tired my horse, so that he lay
down under me, and I was obliged to leave him.
Mil. If I thoui^t I m^ht b^eve this now. —
King. I am not used to lie, Ixmest man.
MiL What ! do you live at cour^ and not lie?
that's a likely story, indeed !

King. Be that as it will, I speak truth now, I
assure you ; and, to convince you of it, if yon
will attend me to Nottingham, if I am near it, or
give me n night's lodging in your own house, here
IS something to pay you for your trouble^ and if
that is not sufficient, I will satisfy you in the
morning to your utmost desire.

MiL Ay^ now, I am convinced, you are a coQr*
tier; here is a little bribe for to-dav, and a la^
promise for to-roorrow, both in a iMreath : here,
take it again, and take this along with it— —
John Cockle is no courtier ; he can do what he
ought without a bribe .

King. Tliou art a very extraordinary mu, I
must own, and I should be glad, metfaiiuci, to be
farther acquainted with thee.

MiL Thee ! and thou ! prithee don't thee and
thou me : I believe 1 am as good a man as yooi^
seH' at leasL

King. Sir, I beg your pardon.
MiL Nay, I am not angry, friend; only, (
don't love to be too familiar with any body, be-
fore I know whether they deserve it or not

King. You are in the right. But what am I
to do?

MiL You may do what you please. Yoo am
twelve miles from Nottingham, and all the wn
through iliis thick wood ; but, if you are reacdred
upon going thither to-night, I will put yoa in
the road, and direct you, Uie best 1 can ; or, if
you wilt accept of such poor gatcitaiBincnt «
a miller can give, you shall be weloQi&e to stay
all night, and, in the rooming, I will go with yoa
myself.

King. And cannot you go with me to-m^i
Mil. I Montd not go with yoa to-night, if JN
were the kin^

King, llien I must go with yon, I think.

[£nMi«.

Bods LET. 3

BRITISH DRAMA.'

103

SCLNE IL-^hanp't to thr loan of MantJifU.
Dick o/om.

Well, dear Man^rielr), I im |;UH tn sec thy face
mg^u. But my htarl acbt»>, mriliinlts for fear
tbi* *hoiild bo oDly a trick of tJitirs, u> (;et me
iniD their pon-cr. YeL, tJie letter scnms to ht
wrM« wilti an air of siiitvxilv, I onfcw; and
the eirl wu netvt u»cd lu fie, till the kept a
lord's QtMnpMijr. Jjel toe see, Vi\ read it once

I

* Dear Richard — I urn nt Ian (thfni^ much toi

* Iste for me) convtoced of tht in|urv doiic lo us
' biMfa, fay dial haic nmn, wKu made mc think
' ytm lobe, lie cuiilnvcd ttte^e lertern, ultich 1

* send you, m utake me lliiiik. you juiit upon liii*
' fkuiit of beiii^ luarricd to another, a 'linught I
' could not bear witli palienre ; m, tumi'ic ni re-
' T«<i*cr on ytKi. consented to my owu uudoiii;:.
' But, for your own sake, I bet; vou to returu

* tucbcr, f'u* I have unuc liopefi of beiiig able to
'iloyuu jtiAiice, which \* tlie ontv cinuforl of
' jrour tD<»t diatruscH, Ltui e^cr aScitiuiiate,

• Ptoor.'

iJmoo cheat in thi?, viro ! Tlie letters
c, I ihirik, a priA*fnfbersJnccri»y.
rp» To her. howOTir : I caiiuiil thioV
Aft wdl aeaiii bpiniy me. If she lias iis much
Cnwienievt left for xix, as, in ^pitc of her ill
iwagf, 1 »tiil feel for her. I'm sure «lie won't.
Lti (DC tee ! 1 am not fiir from the house, I U.--
btwc [Kxit.

• SCENE m.—Changf» to c rwtm.

Enter P&ogt anJ Phceoi:.

Pkate. Prar, madatn, ntake yourself etuiy.

Ptfi. Ah, PtMrte! the thai hits hm her virtue.
laHk with it, lost her ea»e, and all her hap|liuc:^s
BriiiTJli^ cheated fool ! to thuik him fnlv.

Pkmtr. fie pnttent, madnm : I hone, you wilJ
Aonlj he rerensed fxi that ilrreitful lord.

/V^. 1 hofv 1 shall, for that were just re-
fm^ f But. nil] rtvet)||!0 make nie Imppv * Will
■I e«<Luse uiy falsehood ? Will it restore me to
fca hrwt of rnv niDch iojiircd lo»c? Ah, no!
thU hlmmiou iimorencc he umhI (u praise, niid
■iN Ilia fTfBtest bcHuty of our uix, is ^oue ! 1
kna DO charm left, titat might tpiicmt tliat ftamc,
t look meh pkina to quench.

[Kioiking al the doitr.
*aB mheft ihen>. (J litavcuB ! 'tis lie ! Abu* !

<^ e*er I should be asluuncd Co atx the mun I

bill

rRiOHaRD, wiaHinidM Umkitig on iter at
a lUitamcet ihe metping.

iW. WcJl, Peggy Cbut I suppcKc you're ma-

d^m now, in tliat fine dress), you see, you lutve
brought till; buck ; is it to triumph in your false-
hood? or, nm I to receive the slif;htcd IcaTings
of your iinclord?

Peu. O Riilianl ! after the injury I have done
you, 1 cannot look on you wiihoot coofunoo:
But do not think sn liaralr of mc : 1 stayed not
to be ^littbt^d by liim ; fur, the uioiiHrot I dis-
covered his vile plot on you, I fled his tight; nor
cuuld lie errr prvvail to »mv me since..

Dkk. Ah, Peggy ! you were too ha&ty in belier-
iii{»; and much [tear, tltc vengeance aimed at me,
bad other rhnnns to ri-rummetid it tu yuu ; such
hnivcry as that [PmntiNg to her clothei.] 1 had
uo( to bestow ; but, if a tender, honest heart
could nieaat?, you had it nil ; aitd, if I wished for
luore, t^us fur \our sake.

Peg. O Ilk-hard ! when you consider the wick-
i-'d slruta)rrni he contrived, to make mc think
you blue und deceitful. I hope you will, at
least, pity my folly, and, in sotue measure, ex-
cuse tny falsehood; that you will forgive me, I
dare uot bi<iie.

Dirk. To be forced to fly from my friend^ and
country, fur a crime tliat 1 was innocent of, is an
uijury iluit I cannot easily for^rc, to be sure:
Hut, if you are lewi ^ilty of it tlrno I ihoueht, I
shnU l>t very f^lad; and, if vour design be really,
am you sny, to clear nic, nnn to expose the Imisc*
ncAs of him tliat hetruyrd and ruined yuu, I will
join with you, with all my heart. But how do you
propose to do lhi»?

pLfi. The kiuft is tiow in this forest a-hunling,
nnd our Youn|> lurd ii» every day with him: Now,
I ihiiik, if wc could take some opportunity of
throwing ourselves at his majesty's feet, and
cuiDpLaiiiiiu; of the injusbce of one of his cour-
tiers, it aiiglit> pethapt, hove some efiect upon
bint.

Dick. If we were suffered to make htm sensi-
ble of it, pciliaps itmi^hi; hut the complaints
iifsucli litdc f:iiks as we, seldom reach tlic cars
of majestv.

Feg, We can but try. .

Dick. Wl'II, if vou will go with me to njy fa-
ther's and stay there, till such an opportunity
ItapjKiis, 1 sliafl belifve ynii in caroes^ and will
join with you in your design.

Peg. I will do' ai»y thing to comince vou of
my tiiiicerity, and to moke natisl'actiuu fur the
iiijiineb which bnve been done yuu.

Ihfk. Will vou go now?

Peg. I'll be with you m less than an hour.

[Ereunt.

SCENE IV.—ChiMgfi to the mi//.

Maroest and Kate hnittitig.

Knte. O dciu- ! I would not sec a npirit for oil
llir ivoild ! but I love dearly to htv stories of
tiiL-iu. Well, and wliac then t

104

BRITISH DR^MA.

(DoDflLVT.

Mar, Ad6 so ftt last, ia a dismal hollow tone,

k cned — ■

[A knocking at the door ^frigktt them
both ; thetf scream out, and tkroa dozen
their knitting.

Mar, and Kate. Lord bless us ! What's that f

Kate. (> dear mother ! it's sume juHument up-
as, I am afraid ! The; sajr, talk of the devil, and
he'll appear.

Mar. Kate, go and see who's at the door.

Kate. I du(St not ^o, mother ! do vou go.

Mar. Come, let's both go !

Kate. Now, don't speak as if tou was afraid !

Afar. No, I won't, if I can help iL Who's
there?

J^k. Ucithout^ Wliat ! won't you let me in ?

Kate. O gemini ! it's like our Dick, I think :
He's certainly dead ! and it's his spirit.

Mar. Heav'o forbid ! I think in mjr heart, it's
be htmuir. Open the door, Kate.

Kate, Nay ! do you.

Mar. Come^ well both open it

[They open the door.

Enter Dice.

Dick, Dear modier ! how do you do? I thought
you would not have let me in !

Mar, Dear child ! I'm overjoyed to see thee ;
but I was so frighted, 1 did not know what to
do.

Kate. Dear brother, I am glad to see you !
bow have you done this long while ?

Di'cA:. Very welL Kate. But where's mv fa-
ther?

Mar. He heard a gtm go off, just now, and
be'H sone to see who- 'tis.

Dick. What, they love venison at Mansfield
as wril as ever, ( suppose?

Kate. \\ ; and thev will have it, too.

Mit,\Without.}-liQnl Madge! Kate! bring
a livht here !

Star. Yonder he is.

Kate. Has he catched the rogue, I wonder ?

Enter the Kiso and the Milleb.

Mar. Who have you pot ?

MiL I have brought theo a stranger, Kladge ;
thou must give him a su^tper, and a lodging, if
thou can'st.

Afar. You have gor a better str&n>:cr uf your
«wn, I can tell ynu : Dirk's come.

Afi/. Dirk! Where is he? Why, Dick! Uo»
b't, niy lad ?

Dirk. Verv well, T thank you, father.

King. A little more, and you had pushed mc-
down.

Jf(7. Faith, sir, you must excuse nic ; I wa?
overjoyed to see my boy. He Ims been at IjOO-
don, and I have not seen him these four years.

King. ^Ycll, I shall once in my life have the

happiness of being treated as a oooudod man;
and of seeii^ human nature without disguise.

[AtUe.

Mil. What has brought Uiee faome lo nnet*
pected?

Dtck. You will know ibat preaendr.

Mil. Of that, by-and-by, then. We hnre got
the king down in the forest a hnntii^ thia ae»-
SOD ; and this honest geiitietnao, who came dowa
with his majesty from London, baa been with
them to-day, it seems, and has lost his waj^r*
Come, Madge, see what thou can'st get for io[h
per. Kill a couple of the best fowls ; and go
you, Kate, and draw a ^iu:her of ale. We are
famous, sir, at MansBeM, for good ale; and fiir
honest fellows, that know how to drink it.

King. Good ale will be acceptable at preset^
for I em very dry. But, pray, bow came year
son to leave you, and go to London ?

Mil. Why, that's a story which Di<^ per-
haps, won't like to have told.

King. Then 1 don't desire to hear it.

Enter Kate, vitH an earthen pitcher cf ahe^
and a horn.

MiL So ; now-, do you go help yoar modwri^*
Sir, my hearty service to you.

King. Thank ye, sir. This plain sincerity and
freedom, is a happiness imknown to kings.

[JtUe.

Mil. Come, sir.

King. Richard, my service to you.

Dick. Iliank you, sir.

Mil. Well, Dick, and how dost thou like Loo-
don ? Come, tell us what thou hast seen. * •

Dick. Seen ! I have seen the land of pro-
mise.

Mil. The land of promise ! What dost thou
mean ?

Dick. The court, father.

Mil. Thou wilt never leave Joking.

Dick. To be serious, then, I have seeo Ae dis-
appointment of my hopes and rxpectAioos ; and
that's more than one would wish to see.

MiL What I Would the great man, dboa wast
recommended to, do nothing at all for dwe at
last?

Dick. Why, yes; be would promise me to the
last.

MiL Znons ! Do the courtiers think didr de*
pendents can cat promises?

Dick. No, no; they never trouble diMr beads
til think wiieihtr we <ffit at all nr not. I have
now ilui)|!led after his lordship several year% tai^
taiized with hopes and expectations; this year
pmmised odc plare, the next another, and tbs
third, ill sure and certain hi'pe of a disap-
poiLtmeiit. One falls, and it M-as promised be*
fore; another, and I am jubt half an hour too
Inte ; o third, and it i-top*) the mouth of a credi-
tor ; a fourth, and it pays tlie hire of • flaUarcr;

a

BOOSLKT.]

I

a fiAh, and it bribicc > vote ; anrl, the iiKth, I am
pntmned tdlL But having thus siepi awny fu>iii'
yva.r% I nwokF fram mv dream : my lunl, I foitml,
was bO (»r I'roiD liuviag it in liit p<mcr u> pet n
^lace fnr me. ti»t Ite had been nil litis whih-
aavkiRjc afWr one for hi(ii>elf.

MU Po«ir Uick ! And is, plain Ikine^tf, tiirn,
• recwofnendauon to go place at court ?

Dick. It may ri'C'immrnd you to be n foot-
inan, pcrhapa, but otKluu^t furtlier; itatliinc t'ur-
tittr, ludeed. ll' vou \nitk iii^her* yuti iniiTit fur-
laah r-Miraclf with otbrrqiiulilicMUDiia ; you in\K
Inro In *»y ny, or no; lu nin. or ^ land ; tu
fcccfa, or cnrry. '*r leap over a »tick, ul tlie u-oril
of CMOOMud. You inii>ii l>v uu-tci' of ilic iirto
of Battf'rv. iiiMniuit»"ii, (liMiinul&dun.npplicniiniK
aod — [Poimttng to Au pr^/M.J — right nppliailiuii,
(00, (f you hope (o succm.iI.

Ki*g. Yuu don't ctMiiider I am a courtier, ine-
Utiulu.

Dkk, Not I, indeed ; 'tia no oincem of mine
what you arc. II'. in u,riivrul, niv c!iitracier ul
the court is true, *IJ» itoi niy Tault if it's JiMtKree-
able to your *or*liip. There arv pnniciilar c\-
ceptioua, 1 own, and 1 h'tpc you niHV U; ihm:

lUmg. Nay, I don't wnot tu be Haltered; »<<
let that paao. Here's bviter mkccu to you thi
Deit lime you come to \j.nv\m\'\

Da k. I thank yc ; but 1 dua't design to sec it
■gain in haste.

Mtl. No, no, Dick ; instead of defending np.
OT lords' protDKcs, depend upon the labour oi'
thiue own liand^; expect noltuii^ but whut thou
caa*it attra, and then thou wilt not be disappoint-

ed. Bat conM, I want a dmrriptinn of I/mdoo ;
(hou hiut told us nothing rhou hn-4 seen ycL

Dfck. O ! 'I'ls a tine plare ! I have ven Inr^
hou>es with «niail lunuiialitv ; frvAi mtti do lit-
tic iictirin^; and froe lathes do ifrthiiiy at all. C
li.ive M-f^n tl*e hooest hiwyers oJ' Wfitmnister-
11)11, and the vtrluocj', inhabitants of t'ttnnce'AI-
lev ; the politic madnwii of codec-house^ and
the wiih: stalvsmrn of U^^dlnm. I have »ren oter>
ry traf^dics, aud sad cumndK-s; devotion at iin
Dpcra, and mirth nt u seniHUi; 1 Itave »ern line
rlothcs t*t St .fniQc^'s, at>d loiif; bill; at Lud^ate-
Intl. I hHvc M?t-n poor erundenr, nnd nch poven-
I V ; hijfh boniHur^ ajtd low dattery ; great prirlo,
j«k1 no merit. In short, I have seen a fool with
;i title, a knavo with a pentiioo, and mo honeu uiaa
Mith a thread-hare cooc Pray, how do you iika
Lfindun f

Mil. And is tliis the best description tJiov
caii'«t give of k ?

Dick. Ven.

King. W'bjt Utcliard, you are a satirist, I
tind.

DirA:. I love to apenk truth, sir; if that lia(>-
^ens to be satire. I cau't h«-Jp it.

iWiV. Well ! If this is l^indon* give ii»c my
'-..tuncry oottai^e ; which, thoutEh it is not a j>reitt
■oUbC, nor a tine house, is wy own house ; anil {
CAU shew a receipt fur the buddiu; on't. UnC
oMwr, sir, (Hir Slipper. I believe, is ready for us
Uy this tiiite ; aud lo such ua J have, yuo're wei-
coine as a prince.

A'iA^. 1 Uuuik jou. [Enunt.

SCENE l.—CAanget to the wood.
Enter icverat kttperi.

■ %gl Km*. Tbc report of a gun was socnewhea'
V lki» wm, I'm sure.

td fkerp. Yes; but I can ne»cr believe thai

•■T body would conie a dccr>>t oiling so dark a

aigbt aa ihi^

A^ Kerp. Where did tlic deer liarbour to-diiy *

K Alh hetp. "n>e(e was a herd lay npnn llami!-

B Bon-lull; aiiollurr, just by Rohio Hood's cluur ,

n aod a third here, in .MunMield wood.

Ut Keep. Ay; those llicy have been nmoncst !
W Ktrft. lUit wr (thiUl never be able to linil
ibew t<«-t)iKlit, *us M duik.

M AVr/t. No, no; let's fio back B|;ain.
la* kr*^t. Z'WOh! Voti'rc afraid of a hmlicn
head, I suppose, if we should IJnd (licni ; niiil so
fasl ratlKv alink baik aicain. Hark ! stand close ;
^^^^■■r ihcni cnninig Ui» way,

^^^B Knlre tht Courtien,

ttt C^mr. Did ui»i you Iwtt MM«l»ody just

ACT IL

now ? Futhf I heffa to be afmid we shall meet
with some misfortune to-nit:ht.

9tt Cowr. >Vliy, if any body should take whnt
we httte fftl, wc hnvc made a tiiK- buMiu-w of it.

3d Cwir. Li'l tlif lit lake it. if iltcy will ; I am
so tired* 1 Uiall make but snail reai!<tance.

[7^ keeper* rttiA upon tkem.

Ifi Keep. Ay; rocues, rascals, and liliains!
Vou have pn it, have you f

'id Cour. Indeed we've f;ot but very little: but
what we have, you're welcooic to, if you will but
use us civiUy.

Itf Afcp. O ye5 ! very ctvilty ; you deserve to
be used civilly, tit be sure.

•4tk Vtmr. Why, what have wo done that wa
tnnv not be civilly used ?

itt heep. Come, come, don't trifle; surren-
der!

Ut Cvur. I luvc but three balf-cruwua about
me.

2d Cour. litre's three and sinpcncc for you,
({eiitlcioeu.

Sd Cour. Here's my watch ; I buve no aiunei
atoU.

tM

BRITISH DRAMA.

^DODSLET.

4fA Cour. Indeed I have nothiDginnij pocket
but a snutf-box.

4th Keep. What ! The dogs want to bribe us
do they? No, ra>>ca]s; you &hall go before the
justice to-morrow, depend on't,

4th Cour. Before the justice ! what, for be-
ing rubbed f

1st Keep. For being robbed ! What do you
mean? Who ha!> rohtwd you?

4th Cour. Why, did not you just now demand
our money, gentlemen?

Qd Keep. O, the rascals ! They will swear a
robbery against as, I warrant !

4th Cour. A robbery ! Ay ; to be sure.

1st Keep. N<t, no ; we did nut demand your
money ; we demanded the dpfr you have killed.

4th Cour. '\ he devil take the deer, I snv ! he
led UB a chase of six houni, and got away frtiui
us at laf^t.

itt Keep. Zoons ! Ye does do ye think to baiw
ter IIS? I tell ve, vnu have this night ^hot one nf
tlie king's deer; dtd not we hear the gun go off?
Did not ive hear you stay, you was afraid it
ahtiuid l>e taken from you?

3(/ Cour. We were afraid our money should be
ta'^en fmra us.

Ul Keep. Come, come, no more shuffling : I
tell ye, you're all rc^es, and we'll have you hanif-
eil you may depend on't. Come, let's take them
to old Cockle's ; we're not far ofF; we'll keep
theiu there all night, and to-morrow morning
we'll away with them before the justice.

4th Cour. A very pretty adventure !

SCENE ll.—Changet to the milL

KiKC, MiLLEB, Margery, and Dick, at
supper.

Mil. Come, sir, you must mend a bad supper
with n glass of good nie ; here's king Harry's
heilih !

King, With all my heart Come, Richard,
here's i>ing llurrv's health; I hope you are cour-
tier enough to pfrdce me, are not you ?

Dkk. Yes, yes, sir ; I'll drink the king's health
with all my heart.

Mar. Come, sir, my humble service to you,
and much good mnv do ye with your poor su|>-
per : I wish it hail Wen better.

King. You need make no apologies.

A/ar. We are obliged to your goudness in ex-
cuung our rodmcss.

AliL I*rithec, Margery, don't trouble th<i gen-
tleman with compliments.

Mm-. l/>rd, husband, if one had no more inan-
ncn> than you, the gentleman would take us all
for hogo.

Mil Now, I think, the more compliments the
}css manners.

King. I think so too. Compliments in dis-

course, I believe, are like ceremonies in religion ;
the one has destroyed all true piety, and the
other all sincerity and plain-dealing.

j1/i7. Then a tig for all ceremtmy, and com-
pliuicnts, too: give us thy hand; and let ut
drink and be merry.

King. Right, honest miller ; let as drink and
be merry. Come, have you got e'er a jpiod
song?

Mil. Ah ! my singing days are over ; but my
man Joe has got an excellent one ; awl if yoo
have a mind to hear it. III call hnn in.

King. With all my heart.

Mil. Joe !

lEnter Joe.

Mil. Come. Joe ! drink, boy ; I have promised
this gentleman that you &ball sing hira yfHir last
new Mine.

Joe. Well, master, if you have promised it bio^
he shall have it.

SONG.

Ilow happy a state does the miller pnsseas !

Who would be no grcQier, nor fears to be ien;

On his mill and himself lie depeuds ior sup-
port.

Which is better than servilely crir^iog at
courL

What though he all dusty and whitened does

Hic more he's be-powdered, the more like a

beau ;
A clowit, in this dress, may be honester far
Thau a courtier, who struts in his garter and

star.

Though his hands ai-e so daubed, they're not

(it to he seen,
Tlie hands of his betters are not verv clean ;
A palm more polite may as dirtily deal ;
Gold, in haudlioj^ will stick to tlie fii^en like

meal.

What if, when a pudding for dinner he laek^
He cribs, without scruple, from other hwb^

sacks;
In this of right noble examples he brags.
Who borrow as. freely from other men's bagi

Or should he endeavour to heap au estate^
In this he would mimic the tools of the stale;
Whose aim is alone their own coffers to fill.
As all his concern's to bring grist to his milL.

He eats when he's hungry, be drinks whoi be^

dry.
And down when he's weary contented does lie;
Then ri.'^'s up tlirarfnl to "work and to sing:
If so happy a miller, then who'd be a kingr

Pods LET.]

BRITISH DRAMA,

10?

I

I

MiL Tliere's ft initj> for yon !
Kiii^. lie »Ihiu1H liii ('iriii this ai cnurt, I (liiuk.
Ut-it. I tHrtKAt", il'hc'» wi»e, he vn\i cliuK to
Btay at Jioiiie thougli.

Eutfr i'cccT.

UiL What wind Ucw voii liirher, pr«y ? You
fa>vc a Knod ^i«n uf im|)udeiu.x, «>i' jmu mi»u1<I
be atliamcd tu Mt your luot wiUitii iiijr liousc,
(DCthiakfr.

Pff. A^mod I am, indeed; but do not mil
Be iiii|nidi-iit. [li'cr/n.

Duk. Dear Taihcr, suspend your aii^r fnr [he
pmcnt : that blie U Item uow, is by my dirco-
lioo, and u do me juMire.

Peg. To do that, it nil that is nnw in niy
power: Tur, oa Ui my^lf, 1 am ruiiK-d past rc-
deiBpcioa; my character, mv viituc-, my |>«uct^,
•re ftooe : 1 am ahatiduu«d Ly my frieu'db, des-
pised by the wortd, and expo>cd Co mi-icry aiid
wauL

Hing. Prav, let me know the stnrr of your ini^
fftrtuncft : prrhaps ir may be in my |MJwcr to do
aomciiititjc towards rcdretMiit; thpui,

I'eg, Thnt yuu nuiy Icuni from him, w)uhd I
have wrou^pd; but n» for me, stuuiiu wilt iiut let
me ipcak, or licar it told.

[EW/Pccr.v.

Kine. 5yie » very prtity.

Dfk, Oy sir, r oiKx thought her nn dn^l; I
lofcd ber dearer llmii my lilV, ami did hfliovc
ber pBwion wju the Siiine for mo : but a ymiity:
nobicman of this nciiihbuiirbood hap|)«iiir)g to
Me ber, her youth nod blouni'mg beauty present-
ly »tnirk bis fancy; ii thmikiind urtiiiccs were
immediately employed to dcbauc-h aiid ruiu tier.
But all hi» n/ts were vain; not even the (iromiM;
rtf luakine; her hi« wife, could prevail upon her .
In a liitie bmc he found out Itc-r lovu to mc, iitid,
■■laeiniai; thu to itc the cauw of hf>r refusal, lie,
by forjtc*! Iclirr*, omi feigned stiiries, rontrivcl
to Mwiie tier belie\o i wa< upon die point nC [imr-
pKfie with OKotber womai). I'nnet^ nith this
•pMikm, »he. In a nigv, writes me viunl, tirver in
•M ber mure ; and, m revenue, con»riited tu her
own umloinit. Not contented wiili tlits, noreasv
i»biie I was »<> iiear her, lu: briheil one v( bit
tart-olf mittn.'MCk to iwear n child to me, ivliicb
lbs did ; tlii« was the iKxa-Moii of luy Icuvin^ my
fiMiid^ and Hyimi tu I»ndun.

king. And bow doei »liu propose to do you

Duk, Why, llie kin* being ngw in thit forest

I tKudUof, we dc^i^n lu take some opportunitv

I id ibn>ume oon»tlve*nt his Mii|c>n'> iKt, mid

L toapUuiUjt^ of liic uyusticc diHte u> by tiii> ni>-

1 k tiUam.

% MiL All, Dkk ! I expect but little rc<lrc»s

I mra widi an applitmtKni, 1 bitiiri of ihia nature

■\ In w) coramoa amoni: the ercac, that I urn

^ E l&ul it will otily be made ■ jest of.

King. '{liMe, that can make a jeit of what
<>u(;l)t [o be <thockin^ to humaiiiiy. turcly dcKTvo
not the name of Rreat ur iinhle ni*-o,

Dick. Whnl do yuu llunk of it, &ir^ If yuu
ImIou^ to the court, y>ti. perhaps ("u? know
*oinethin)£ of the king's it-mper.

Kivg. Whv, ill cim ju'iKC f>f bii temper nt
nil, I thmk be would not Millrr the creatir-tt no-
biciuaii in his rourt to do an mjuMice to the
ineiine»t wibjiTt in his kinnilom. Hut, |>niv, who
It the- nnbieiuiui that is tapabic of such tictiuiis
aa t bese i

iJi-k, Do yuu know my lord Lurcwell?

A'ln^'. Yes.

Dtrk. I'imt's the man.

King. Well, I wuuld hnvcToii pnt yourdcsJcH
in estoution. Tis my opinion the kinR would
tint only Itear your cumpbiiiit, but redreaa your
injuriet,

Mii. I wisli it may prove so.

£n/er the Kcrptn, Uadtng in the courtien,

1j/ h>r;i, llola! Cockle! Where ore ye? —
Why, mim, wc have Diibbed a pack of nijtjues
here, just iu the fact.

King. Iln, hdfbn! What, turned highwaymen,
my birds, or decr-stealers ?

Iff dmr. I am very Klad (o find your majost/
in health and safety.

SdCour. Wc have run throttcli a great inanT
perili and dHnjjors to-night : hot the joy of ti™!-
iiig your laijeHty so unexpectedly, will make U4
furftet all wc have suflbred.

i'ifit j What! 15 this Uie king !

King. I am very iclad to see you, my lordfl^
I coiifc&i ; uud particularly you, my lord Lurc-
weli.

J.urt. Your majesty does mc bonotjr.

A'<M|f. Ye«, my lord, and I will do you justice,
to>t ; yuur honour bos U-cn highly wrutigcd by
ihi-- Tooni; miin.

Lure. W riiiijjud, my iiece !

Kin^. 1 hope mi, my lord ; for I would rain
lielitve you cau't be guilty of boscaets itiid
treachery.

iMre, I Impe your majrtiy will ncrer find me
^Q. Wiiat durc» this villain say i

Dick. I am iwt to be frighted, my lord. I
dare spcn]( tmth at any ume.

/jire. Whatever stains my honour, most be
false.

If*i»;i. I know it mu*t, my lor<i; y*t Iwk this
■nnn, not kmiwin^wbo I wa-,presmne<l locbnnn
Vimr titrdsbtp, not only with Rrtiii iniu'-tice to
iiim>ielf, but :il»o with milling an innocent >ir-
liii, whoM) he luvd, and who was tu bate
been his wife; which, if true, were ba*c and
ireatlurons; but I know 'tis false, uud, there-
I'ore, Imve it to vour hinWiipto wiy «Ii«t punidw
meiit I shall inAict upon biiu, for tbc injury dou«
lo your botiour.

lod

BRITISH DRAMA.

[DODSLET.

Lurf. I titanic ytmr m^nty. 1 will not lie
•rvrre; tic ahull only n^k my pnnffHi, ntid lo-
>li.i>rn»v iiiontin^ he nbliped to miury tlic creu-
uri' Ik- \\»it tr»<lui:e[l me wiUt.

KiNg. lilts »iniUl. \\>lt, you t>car jour KD-
tciiii'

Dick. May I not hsre Icarc tu speak befurc
your maiirstv?

^"*ti' ^Vhat can*9t thou Miy '
ifuk. \f I tiiwl y*Mir timjfsty** prniiifesion, I
believe I Imvc cvrlmii »»iti»e9»c4 whtth will uiwJe-
L-nmhtv yrtne tlie truth of all I hftve accuaed hb
' lunlhliip of.

Ktiig. Produce tlicm.
Dtck. Pegi5y :

Knter Puacr.

Kiig. Do yno knr»w thn wMnan, my lord }

Lure. 1 kii<»« her, picosc your innjcsty, by
sight ; (iie'sa teiuint'e daii^ter,

Pfg. \Audt.] Majesty ! Wbat, u thik the

liiiE?

Dick. Vea.

King. Have you no porticalnr aojuainfaoce
wild hiT f

Lvtf, Hum! 1 have not seen her iheM wie-
ral Diiinihs,

Dick. Tnic, tbt lord ; and tliat ift pari of your «o
ciivitioii ; for, 1 iclit'ie, I hn\e MMrw lettrn «hich
will [►nrtc yi»uT lonlship once hml a more pnri-
ctilitr ni<]iiaiiitaiicr nilli Iter. Hervtb one of the
fit**! \w» Iwd-hifi vtToU: lo her, lull of (he leii-
di re<4 iiikI ui'i^r •fileiiin firomifttinuf orimeand
Cdimtanr^ ; heru is uiioLhci', wlik'h will iiil'onu
Vmr mu)v>tv of the puiii» lie look m rum tier. —
There \h tin nlwulule proini«o of marriuge bc-
fuTR hn ciiiM iii'<'4>ntpliBli it.

Kina. Wtuu sny yoUf my lord? arc these your
Lan(l»r

Lure, f believe, ple«ie ynur mnjp«tv, I mii;lit
knti- II tittJc tillfijr uf gallantry »ith Uil- gtrl sinne
tl'iw iiC).

K'ng, It ttm a little nflHir, my lord; n mt^an
afluii- : nod what you call fH.ianlry, I rail infa-
my. Dm yon think, nty lord, thm eredliKSS eii'r«
ft h:inctioii to Mit kcdiiem ? Or [hut it is (he urem-
pariteoi' lonlb to be unjosr and inhnman f You
rvint'MilM-r iIm; mmih-ihx' «liiih MmrM"U' pronoiiti-
tfrd upon lhi!i iononteiit man; 'vna (-;oini>t think
it hnrd that il should pAM on you wIk> are
piilly.

Larr. I Itope y^our majesty will conudcr my
mnk, and not obliee mc to mcirry her.

Ki'a^. Vnnr rai)k, my lord t Grt-atiiess, that
HDup l» at-liiHii ba*e joid ln*r, dv8ert« its rank,
Md pulU ilfi Ixmiturt doMo. VVImt makes vour
|nrd»ihip iLrent? !• it ytmr pihicd ef^ipce'niid
rtre»*? 'ilien pot il (ni your tnt<niir«>t slave, and
he'll a^ C"'nt a^ .'on. Is it \oiir rirl.*.-* or rotatt*'
'nic f illiiiii itttil nImioM plunder you of &II, nouhl
Ihcn be a* un-ni an vou. N>t. niv hrtil ; he, thai
Win Krvatly, i» the tnic grout uuuk 1 llitTcrurp

think, you ou{;ht, in jastloc, to marrf bcr you
thus have wrnu^ed.

Ptg. Let my tears thank yon r majesty. But,
alas! I am nVraid to m.-irry this yomv^ lordi
thiit would only (!ive him power to use ma
worw, und still cncreaw; my mi«*ry : I, Uicre-
fore, beg your majesty will not cominaad hiin to
dt it.

Ktng. Rise, then, and hear me. My tofd, «m
see how low the greatest r»oblcman may be redu-
ced bv unneiierous nction«i. Here is, under your
owit hand, an Rhwiute promise of marriage to
this young woman, nhii h, fnnn a tlvofoueh kno»-
le^l^e of your unworthineM, ihc hua prodently
iktlineil to make yon foltil. I shall, therefore,
not iiiMSl noon it': but I oomraand you, upoa

[mill of my rtisptwiiure, immfldiatelj to settle ua
ler three hundred pounds a-year.

Fe^. May iieavcn njward yonr maje»t/s
Eoodncis. ■ lis too much for me ; but if your
mnje^iy thinks lit, let il be settled upoit this
much I'lijurcd man, to make B*ime satisfaction far
tlic wruiigs which have been doitc him. A» to
myself, I otily soucht to dear ihe innix^nce of
hiin I loved ai>d wronged, then hide mc fnMnlha
witrlH, and die fop^iven.

Ditk. This act of generous virtue cancels aH
paH failintb; come to my arms, and be m deaf
us ever.

/*r^. You cannot, sure, forgrre me !

Dick. I can, I do, and »till will make yra
mine.

Pfg. O, why did I ever wrong «ucli eenenm
love?

Dirk. Talk no more of it. I lew, let a»
kiiwl, and tliuok the goodnese which haa maiift
us hiest.

A'lMe. May yon Irf- happy !

A/i/. [Kmci-] .\fier I have leei* W f«W* «^
vour majesty's i;oodue^», 1 oninot despair of par-
dnn, even for tlie rough u«ge your majesty re-
ceived fn»m me.

[7^r king dravi kit nrarrf, the Miller i»
J'n^hlrd, nntt riatt up, t/Umktmg Ae «a*
f^oitif! to kUl htm.
What have 1 dotie, that t shoold Io*r my hfe?

King. KncM witltnnt fear. No, my jioodhuAt,
so Iw are \n:t from havm<; any ihin^; to pardon,
that I Kiu much vour debtor. I raiinot think tnit
so good and honest a mnn will make a wfirtk/
and hoiKHirable knight; so, liac up, sir Joh*
Cutkle : And to support your Mate, and in some
sort requite the pleasure vou hnve done us '
thousand mnrki a year >hnll b« Kour reiefloe.

J!fi/. Your majcstv's txiuoty I rective wil'
thiuikfuhicss: I hnve been jtnilty of no nieaMMK
to nhtatn it, nml hope I dlmll not l<e obliged u
kr>'|) it upon biL«e cotiditiou^; for tbo«gb 1 i*
4\iUini: to he a fnithfiil suhjcd, I am nxhtiv
he a free, and un hnucitt man.

Kwi^'. I rely upon your being so : And, »
^niu the friendship of such a onr^ I jimBj^

BODSLBT.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

109

wan think an adiUtion to m; bappiaess, though
a king.

Wortli, in whMerer state, is sore a pnze,
Which kii^ of all bwb, ought not to despise ;

% aelfi^ sycophants so close besieged,
Tis fay mere chance a worthy man's obliged :
But hence, to every courtier be it known,
V^irtuc shall find protection from the throne.
[Exeunt omtia.

SIR JOHN COCKLE AT COURT.

BY

VODSLET.

DRAMATIS PERSONS.

MEN.

Tbe King.

Sir John Cockle.

Sfr Timothy Flash.

Greenwood, attached to Mias Kitty.

BucKRAHf a Toi/or,

Barber.

French Cook.

Vintner.

Joe, tervant to Sir Johw Cockle.

Tiree Courtieru

WOMEN.

Miss Kitty, engaged to Greeswoo».
Mas Starch, a mitUner.

Scene— LondoB.

ACT I.

SCENE I.

Xnter Sir John, TaUor^ Barber^ tnd Joi. -

Toy. Tk the fashioQ, sir, 1 assure you.

Sir John. Fuhions are for fuoLs; d'oD*t tell me
ef fabliinn. Must a man make an as» of himself,
because it's the fashioo f

Tat/. But you would be like other folks, sir,
would not jou ?

Sir John. No, sir, if this is their likeness, I
would not be like other folks. Why, a man
might as well be cased op in arrooar; here's
buckram and whalebone ennufih, to turn a bullet.

Joe. Sir, here's the barber has brought you
home a new periwig.

Sir John. Let him come in. Come, friend !
let's see if you're as izood at fashions as Mr
Buckram here. What the devil's this?

Bar. The bag, sir.

Sir John. The bag, sir ! an what's Ail l«|
for, sir ? this is not the fashion too, I hope 1

Bar. It's wliat is very much wore, nr, indeed.

Str John. Wore, sirf how is tt wore? where
is it wore ? what is it for ?
.Bur. Sir, it is only for ornament.

■Sir John. O, 'tis an ornament ! I b^yoor pai^
don ! Now, positively, I should DOt uve taken
this for an ornament. My poor grey hairs arc, in
my opininii, much more becomii^. But. come,
put it on ! There, now, what do you think I
am like ?

Joe. I cod measter, you're not like the saaw
mon, I'm Hure.

Bur. fur. 'tis very scnteel, I assure yoa.

Sir John. Genteel ! av, that it may htf fd
aught i know, but I'm sure 'tis Tcry ugly.

DoDSLET.]

BRITrSH DRAMA.

Ill

I

I
I

Bnr. Tliey w«r nnlt<ine e1«* in 1 r;uirp, Mr.

Arr Jo*ii. lo Iraiuv, «r ! wnatV I mice to
mc' I'm nil Eu::li.''Iinian,qr, unit kiirm iton^Iit ttu'
fiwil* nf Frnnrt' hiiM- !•» I<e tf»» cxaiiijttpo. Ilpi.',
Utkf II airniii; I'll lave none <'l' vuiir hr\«-r»iwlr''l
f mirh fo[lpc^e^; and it* \nu plniM-. I'l- nt.ki
Toii « piTM-itr ill' liin iiiic, ftuliioiml>li rual ncniii
r aaihuMi, luiltYtl !

[£.rfNnf Taibr, Bni-btr, and Jtie.

Bftnter Joe uith iht Fttnch Cook.

Joe. Sir, iirre's a fine fEciitleinan wanes u
Vfo^k wifh yoii.

I.'4wi(. Sir, mc hove henr dat juur boDOur want
om ciHik.

JSw JoKn. Sir, ym nrc »erv obliging; I Mip-

r*^ »<Mi wuultl rcromiiit^iiil une to mc. But, n»
iIom'i kn'nv you

r'ooit No, no, »ir ! me nin adc cnolc mvsrir,
anit tkMuM b<- [inmd of dr tiniiour to M^ne you.

Hir Jn/tH. \fm a ctwk ! mid prHVi whHt uh-
(Ts foST )-oo cx|>rct, to aSbrtl micIi tinury tu
that* '

Cook. Mc will have one hundred Euirica k
y*«r, iHJ niort-; and Iwo or thr(« M-rvam under
me CO do de *f>Hi.

air John Hum! %Try ren-ionftble trtily ! Aiid.
fny, Mtinl e\lraordimirjr luutten run yuu dn, (o
<le<m e uich wa^es ?

Cook. O! me cnn matte vmi nnc- hundred
dnb. dc Knc'*^ kmnv nolint; of; me c:iii nta^v
>»Mi (If porlalili- i«>up tu jml in vour poclitt : i»ie
can drv*« yoti de TtAit a-ln t> arii, en finlcntine.
•-la nKKitiminuicv : dc diick en Rrinadin; dc
ctnckm alii c!nwut>re; dr tiirtey en biiliiic ;
dr pid^con en mirlitoit a f Itulicnnr, :i-Jn d'
ITuielle^: m fine, uie can give you de essence
of tivc or «« ham, and de juice of icn or iwrlve
Knne uf brer, all in dc snucr nf one little di^li.

Hif Jttkn. Very line ! At ihi^ rair. nu uonder
the jMMir ore stan'ed, and tlic hutcber unpiiid.
Su, I <^ill liuvc Do^uch c'Kiks, I prufutK vuu ; it
t« llic luiLurr nnd eilrarncancc intnuluced I'V
Mih Frvnrh kicLshiiw-niuitseo »% you, tliat ha.«
devoured nnd deMro«(-d old Kii^lish bo^pttnlity !
Co ! C'l nli'iuf jrour LunnCb^ ; I Save nn innid to
W bc^^rcd, nor Co bcgjar t)onc»c tradcMncn.
Jur! [Erit Cook

Jft Sir.

Sir John. \jet mv dauL'liler know, the kins ^
inu for tiT, ami I uin gune Lo cuuit, to w rIc on
b* inajc»l V.
Joe, Vc'sair. [Ejcnnt.

SCRXE II.

tmlrr ike Ktag,and trreraf Courlicrs.

Iwj. Wr!l. my liirds mir old friend. Ilic inil-
••"rf ^tllf (ieifJ i<- nnivcd at Inst.

liJ ( iiur. He hii--. I»cv« in town iwo f»r llircc
"■Tti bu not jnar innjcttj wen him yet?

K'np. Nn. but I hnvp «enl' for him to Attend
inc thi-v ct'emnj; : nnd [ Hl*^:l.^^ with only vou,
•nv lords who are no* prebeiic. to entertain my-
self »%«t>ile wUh hife honest frcedmn. He will
Uc tieif |>reM--twly.

if</ Cour. lie mosc oeitaiQlj dh-ert your ma-

)Mt>.

3tJ Cimr. lie mny be dhcrtinp, perhaps; but
iri may ipeak niy roind rxeeiy, I tttink there h
Mnu«tUing too plain aiul r>iu(jli in Iiis bclmriuar,
tor vour tnnjc»ty to bear.

Kin^. Your lordsliip, pcrhnps. mny he afraid
uf plain truth nnd Mort-niv, liut 1 am nut.

3 J Cour. I lici; your mitjc-*l)% purdoij ; I did
not siipp'i^ Y'lu wiln; I only tliiiik, tlicrc is a
certnin auc nnd reference due tu vour innjeitlv,
vt'Uieti [ um Hinud his want of pulitencu may
in:ikr him (raniiiress.

K itf:. Mv lord, v»hilsf I love mv sobjects and
pru^rve tu tltein all then- riphis and lilicrtics,
I doubt ni't of uteetiiig with a proper respect
Inm the miithex of them; lut as t.>r the awe
and nncrciice nhich your (vditencss wnuUl llnt-
ler me wiili. I line ti not. I nill, that nil my
!»uhjccl» treat ine **ith MUceniy. An hnncM
IVtedom of api'cch, as it tt v\ety hone t man's
n^ht, s» none can be oJVnid of it, but he tlmt Is
f-oiihciou^ to himself of ill-dc^t-nin^*. Siiiud
iniixims, and riyhl amduci, can never be ridi-
culed; ai\d. %vljerc llie cnotrnry prevail, the serr-
resl ceiifore i« grvarcil kindness.

3d Cuur 1 beliete your majesty i&m the ri^t^
nod i stand corrected.

Enter • Gektlcuah,

Gen. May it please your majesty, here is a pei^
Hun who calls himself sir John Cockle, llic inil-
ItT of Mauslield, begn admittance tu yuur lua-
jesty.

King. Conduct him in.

Kntcr Sib Jons. '

King. Hiiiiest sir John Cockle, you are wcl-
coDic to l^>ndoo.

Sir John. I thank your niigesty for llie honour
you do me, aJid am glad to find yuur majesty w
l^ood heultli.

Kiiif;. Ikit pmy, sir John, why in the habit of*
miller vet ^ Wltnt I garc vou unv whh a dcsigit
Co »et you above the mean depciulcnce of a trade
for SuliM«eiKC.

Sir Jiilin. Your majesty trill pardon my free-
dom. WhiUt my trade will suupon me, Iain
independent: and L look upon l[i:tl lo lie mure
lioniiurabLe in an hln>:lii4i(nnn, than anv depen-
dence wb-itsoever. [ am a plani. blunt nuitv
and may, powibly, wine time or other, olfeiid
your mnjcsty; »ud when', tlien, ut my subwil-
ciice?

Kttig. And dare you not trust the buuour oTa.

lis

BRITISH DRAMA.

[DOOSLKT.

Sir John. WithoDt doubt I mi^t truat yoar
majesty ver^ safely; but, id geueral, thoudi the
hoDour of kings on^t to be more sacred, ue hu-
mour oi kioKS is like that of other men ; and,
when they please te change their mind, who shall
dare to call their honour in question }

King. 3u .liihn, tsu are in the right ; and [ am
glad to see you nuuntain that ooUe freedom of
sjnrit : I widi all my subjects were as indepen-
oent on me as you resolve to be ; I should then
hear more truth and les« flattery. But come,
what news? How does my lady and your son
Richard^

Sir John. I thank jrour majesty ; Margery b
very well, and so b Dick.

king, I hope you have brought her up to town
with you }

Sir John. She has displeased me, of late, very
much.

King. In what }

&r John. You shall hear. When I was tmlj

Jilain John Cockle, the miller of Mansfield, a
armei's son, in the neighbourhood, made love to
my dai^hter. He was a worthy, honest man.
He loved my dau^tcr uoccrely ; and, to all ap-
pearance, bar a£fecUons were placed on him. I
approved of the match, and gave him my con-
aent. But wbeu your majesty's bounty had raised
my fortune and condiuon, my daughter, Kate,
became Miss iGtty : She grew a fine girl, and
was presently taken notice of by the young gen-
tlemen of the country. Amongst the rest, sir
Timothy Flash, a young, rakuh, extravagant
knif^t, made his addresses to her ; his title, his
dress, his equipage, dazzled her eyes and her un-
derstanding ; ana fond, I suppose, of being made
a lady, she despises and forsakes h|er first lover,
the honest farmer, and is determined to marry
this mad, wrong-headed kni^t. ^

King. And is this the occasion of your flis*
pleasure? I should think you bad rather cause to
rejoice that she was so prudent. What ! do you
thmb it no advantage to your dau^ter, nor ho-
nour to yourself, to be allied to so great a man f

Sir/oAn. It may be an honour to be allied to a
great man, when a great man is a man of honour ;
but tliat is not always the casQ. Be»dcs, no-
thing that is unjust, can be either prudent or ho-
nourable : And the breaking her laith and pro-
mise with a man that loved, uid every way de-
served her, merely fur the sake of a little vanity,
or self-interest, is an action that I am ashamed
my daughter could be guilty of.

King, Why, you are the mint eatraordinary
man I ever knew : I have beard of fathers (Quar-
relling with their children for marrying foolishly
for love ; but you are so singular as to blame
your's for marrving wisely for interest

Sir John. Why, I may diSer a little from the

common practice of my neighbours But,

I hope your maj«stf does ao^ therefore, think
ne to blame i

King. No : Singalari^ in the ri^ it never a
crime. If you are sMisfied your ai;tioai are
just, let the world ^ush that they are sogular.

Sir John. Nay, and I am, perMp% out so re-
gardl^s of interest as ^our m^es^ may appre-
hend. It is very possible a kn^ht, or even a
lord, may be pinjT as well as a farmer. No of-
fence, [ hope? [Turning to the amrtien.

Omr. No, no^ no. Impertiuent fellow !

[AuJe.

King. Well, sir John, I shall be dad to bear
more of this a^r another time; bat tall me
how you like Loudon f Vuur son Uicbard, I re-
member, gave a very satincal descripcioa of it;
I hope you are better entertained.

Sir John. So well, that I assure yoor miycity,
I am in admiration aod wonder all day long.

King. Ay ! well, let us hear what it is you ad-
mire and wonder at.

Sir John. Almost every thii^ I see or bear of.
When I see the splendjur and ma^uficenca in
which some noblemen amiear, I admirt their
riches ; but when I hear of their debt^ and thnr
mortg^es, I wonder at their folly. When I
hear of a dinner oosting an hundred pounds, I
atn surprised that one man should have so many
friends to entertain ; but when I am told, that
it was made only for five or six squeamish lords,
or piddling ladies, that eat not perhaps an ounoe
a-piece, I am quite astonished. When I bear of
an estate of twenty or thirty thousand a year, I
envy the man that has it in his power to do so
much good, and wonder how he disposes of it;
hot when t am told of the necessary e^fienoes
of a gentleman in horses and whores, and eating
and rdrinkiiig, and dressing and gamins^ I am
surprised that the poor man is able to hve. Is
short, when I consider our publick credit, oar
honour, our courage, our freedom, our pi^iljck
, spirit, I am surprised, amazed, astonished, and
confounded.

lit Cour, Is not this bold, tar ?

Sir John. Perhaps it may ; but I inm»o9e his
majesty would not have an Englislunanacowardf

King. Far from it. Let the genercras spirit of
freedom reign unchecked : To speak his mint^ is
the undoubted right of eveiy Briton ; ami be it
tbc glory of my reign, that idl my subjects enjoy
that honest liberty. Tis my wish to redress all
grievances; to right all' wrongs: But ktng% alas !
are but fallible men; errors in govemmeat wiU
happen, as n'ell as failings in private Ufa, and
oughtto be candidly imputed. And letmeaskyoa
one (luestion, sir John. Do you really think yoa
coulo honestly withstand all the temptations mat
wealth and power would lay before you ?

Sir John. I will nut boast before your majes-
ty ; perhaps I could not. Yet give me leave to
say, the man, nhom wealth or power can aaka
a villain, is sure unworthy uf possessii^ either.

King. Suppose self-iuteres^ too, should dadh
with publick duty i

DODSLKT.]

BRmsH DRAMA.

lis

I

.Sir Jifha, Snmosv it should : *Tis alwavs it
miio'* du'j trj iw; juft ; mid dunhlv Itu wiih
vtlitfiu tite ptitJic irost their rigttU uitd libct-

tli*.

iuiig. 1 litink <*o; nay, he. t»hn cannot scorn
the iiMiTijw intercut nf tti» "wd jwim self, t<i
■crrr his oHintrr. aut) il«reii(l hpr rinUti, <t<:strTr9
out the prulrrti'in of a C'tuiitrv in Hcirud hit
own; at le:iu, ahiMjlJ nut be trusted with the
rij^K iif ixlirr mr-n.

Str JaAm. I witli mi *ac\% were ever (rusted.
Aiijf. I tvjsli Mt, toor Uut bow ar« liiup to
LiHiwr til* I»eiirl5 of men ?

' Sif JftMn. 'Fifl dillicidt iitdeed ; yet MHOUthtiig
t^nithl be d-itte.
hiM^. Whiit?

Sir jFiiAii. The nion whom » king employ*, or
n nation truit*, shouhi be tlmmuKhly tried, tan-
mtitc )ii« pritfttc cliurmlcr : Mnrk liow he lives :
1% he luiLunnus, or proud, or AuihiiiniKt, nr ettra-
tlf uv'itd him: The wiul of tliut aiHn js

, , ncce>9ilv »ill press him, uud puhhc

miifj mti^t pay ni» privjiii- debts. But if you
Ami u nuui vnili it clenr head, nound jiithccmnt,
and a riicht hcirioi brim — that is the man to
MTTve b«>th TOO and his coimtrj-

King. YuaVe ri^ht ; nnd such by nic shall
CTCr b«* diftjtigiii^ticd. 'tn both my duty aod
my nitere*t to pmntotv them. To siiLh, it' I
frte wealth, it will etirich tite public; to such,
it I %f*'e power, ihc iiaiiim ivill he mi'^htv ; to
^ ' if I Eire honour, I ^IkiU miw mv awn.
purely, HF John, yotir't is nut tlie li\n):uu;^c,
nor the M'oLioicfit^ of a cotiuU'ul miik-r; hii->^,
n m cuttAge, ouuld jrua gain tliia superior wift-
io ml

, Sirjitfta. Wisdom n not confined to palaces;
nor ul.vuv^ tit Ik- bjin:ht witJi gnli). I rrnd nTiuajJ
Hud tiling sHinietimca ; and lie who does tlio^l
nntty i;»in 50111c komvlcdse, even in a cottaKthl
\t> tor jny tttiiu: aupcTJor, I pretcod not to it;..|
SVhai 1 hti«t; Mtid, I hope, i» fuuin guod kiim; at]
tea'ti 'tis h'liH'M, aod well inenut.

King. Sir John, 1 tiiink »o; ami, to convince
villi b<ov much I e^TccEU your phun-dt-aliiui and
sinci-nty of hciirt, receive thi> ring as a tnark of
Diy favour.

Sir John. I ituink your mnjesty.

King. Omi't thank me no^ ; nt present I hara
hu^iiweft that must be djitpatched, and will de-
sire you to leave me ; before 'tis Jong I'll see
you n^in.

Sir John. I wish your majesty a good nii^t.

[Exit.

Khp. Well, my lords, what <lo you thiak of
(his niillerP

Itf Coiir. He talks well : what be is in the bot< {
(ont, I don't know. |

id Cnur. 1*111 afi-aid not sound.

Stt Cnur. I fancy lui's rxt on by somebody
to iiiipi><ii> upua yvur majesty with this fair shew
of huiic^f v>

itt Omr. Or is not he soinc cuDnln<: knave
ttuit wants to work himMlf into your majesty's
favour?

Kiag. I hftTo n fancy coroe into mv bend to
(ry him ; nhich Pll communiontc to vm*, and put
in e\rcuti<m imiucdiiitvly. An hour hhncc, my
lords, 1 bhall upcct to sec yuii at sir JoJin's

[flrcnnf.

SCENE i.—A tavim.

Sis Timotut

FtASii, t/ie hAXDhoav,

Oar.Fwvoon.

and

m Sis

H Sir 71ot. (lotirst Bacchus how dost tboa do *
H Lam4. ^\*, I am very slad tu see yon; pmy,
V whrn did you come lu tumi ?

Str Tim. YEMcrday ; and on an affair tliat I
■faall want « little of ynnr n9fti>tanre in.

LnnJ. Auy diing in my puwfir, you know, you
aui« cuuMiiaiid.

Sir Tim. You must know then, I Imre nn in-
tn^mi viih a voung Indy, tliat'^ juu come hi
nwD witli her father, and wont an aKreeable
: to meet her at ; can you reconmend uur

X%md 1 eui recommend ynu, fir, 10 the most
cnaf— lent wtimim in all London. What think
ytmof MnWhefdIeP

6«r Tmk. The bc«t womiui in all the world :

Aq^ ri.

I kuow her very well ; Imw coutd t be M stupid
nut to think of her' Cirecnwoud, do yim knuw
where tMir country ncti;hbuur, su- Jului C>«ckle,
Iu<lze4 }

Grern. Ye«, sir.

Sir Tim. n.m'l lie out of the wav then; I
s'lall snid a letter hy \ou prewnrly, which vou,
nmst deliver pnvutcly mt<» ^ll4^ KittvSoun hand,
if she corncs with vo*i, I slinllcive youilirection*
where to conduce her, and do you come back
here and let ine know.

GretH, Yfcv sir. Poor Kitty ! i» it thus thy
rdsehoitd to me h to be punished? I will jprc-
\rut diy niin, hriwcver. [_Exit.

StaTiMOiar lingw.

114

BRITISH DRAMA.

[DODSLBT^

Beaaty smiling

Wit beguiling.

Kindness charming,

Fancy warming,

Kissing, toying,

Meltio^ <^ving.
O the raptures which arise !
O the pleaung, pleasing joys !

l/md. You are a merry wag.

Sir Tim. Merry, ay ! why what is life without
enjoying the pleasures of it i Come, 111 write
this letter, and then, honest Bacchus, we'll taste
what wiao thou hast goL [£jreun(.

SCENE IL

Miss Kitty and Mrs Starch.

Kitty. But prey, Mrs Starch, does all new fa-
shions come up 6rst at court i

Mrs Starch, O, dear madam, yes. They do
nothing else there but study new fashions.
That's what the court is for : And we milliners,
and tailors, and barbers, and mantua-makers,
go there to learn fashions for the good of the
public.

Kitty. But, madam ; was not you saying just
now, that it was the fashion for the ladies to
paint themselves?

Mrt Starch. Yes.'

Kitty. Well, that is pure; then one maybe
as handsome as ever one will, you know. And
if it was not for a few freckles, I believe I
should be very well ; should not I, Mrs Starch?

Mrt Starch. Indeed, madam, you are very
handsome.

Kitty. Nay, don't fiatter mp now; doyoureaU
ly think I am handsome ?

Mrt Starch. Upon my word, you are. What
a shape is there ! What a genteel air ! What a
sparkling eye !

Kitty. Indeed, I doubt you ilatter me. Not
but I lukve an eye, and can make use of.it too, as
veil as the best of them, if I please.

SONG.

Though bom in a country town.
The beauties of London unknowni

My heart is as tender,

My waist is as slender,

My skin is as white.

My eyes are as bright
As the best of them all.
That twinkle or sparkle at court or baU.
I can ogle and sigh.
Then frown and be coy ;

False sorrow

Now borrow.
And rise in a rage ;

Tlien languish

In anguish,
^d softly, and softly engage.

But pray, Mrs Starch, which do yoa dunk the
m(»t genteel walk now ? To tnp it away o^
this manner, or to swim smoothly along thus?
Mrt Starch. They both become j-ou eitreme*

Kitty. Do thejr really? I'm glad you think so,
for, indeed, i believe you are a very good ^ud^
And, now I think on't, I'll have your opiuiuD in
something rise. What do you tUok it is that
makes a line lady ?

Mrt Starch. Why, madam, a 6De person, fine
wit, fine airs, and fine clothes.

Kitty. Well, you have told me already that
I'm very handsome, you know, so tfaa^s one
thing; but, as for wit, what's that? I don't know
what that is, Mrs Starch.

Mrt Starch. O madam, wit is, as one may say

— the the being very wiuy; that is— —

comical as it were; doing somethii^ to make
every body laugh.

Kitty. O, is that all ? nay, then, I can he as
witty as any body, for I am very comical. W^
but what's the next? tine airs:. O, let me akne
for fine airs ; I have airs enough, if 1 can but get
lovers to practise them upon. And then, fiiie
clothes ; wny. these are very fine clothes, I thidtj
don't you think so, Mrs Starch ?

Mrt Starch. Yes, madam.

Enter Sir John, obtervlng tkentt

Kitty. And is not this a very pretty ci^ toef
Does nut it become me ?

Mrt Starch. Yes, madam.

Kitty. But don't you think this hoop a Uctit
too big?

Sir Johrt. No, no ; too big ! no. Not abore ax
or seven yards round.

Mrt Starch. Indeed, sir, 'tis within the arcane
ference of the mode a great deal.

Sir John. That it may he, but I'm sure it's be-
yond the cin umfcrence of modesty n great deal.

Kitty. Lord, papa, can't you dress vouraelf as
you've a mind, and let us alone? ifow sboukl

I'ou know any thing of womens' fashions? CooM^
et us go into the next room.

[Exeunt Miss Kitty and Mas Starch.

Enter Joe with Gr^nwood.

Joe. Sir, here's one that you'll be very glad ti
see.

Sir John. Who is it ?— What, hooest Greea-
wood ! May I believe my eyes?

Green. Sir, I am very glad tu see yon ; I hope
all your family are well.

Sir John. Very well. But, for Heaven's saki^
what has brought thee to London? What^tilie
meaning of this livery ? I don't understand tbee.

Green. I don't wonder tliat you are surpnand;
but I will explain m}t>elf. You know the faitl^
ful, honest love I bear your daughter ; and yoo
are sensible, since the addresses of «r lunotl^

DoDSLEY-l

BRITISH DRAMA.

115

Tlasli, bow marh her fnliwhood has gri«ptl mp;
yet uiorr for licr «akf, even thnii uiy own : iuy
o«ii aoiiappinesa I could endure willi pniicitce,
but the tboueliL^ of secint her reduced in shume
Odd itu«erv, I niuniU b<*ar.

Sir JoAm. What dnst thou nieaci ?

Grrrm. I eery much husjiect liJs designs upon
her art' not luinnumhir.

Str John. Not hfintiurabtc ! he dare not wroa;*
me M> ! Rut, Eo un.

CttfH. Iiuincdintelr nfter you had left thi'
Fry, hearinc Oml he Mti^ hti>tlriiiiig lo Ltd-
ai'irr you. And wiitiied a vnaitt, I went iinH
Dflfen^l mviclf, rrsoKiuf;, hy » strict watch un ;ill
hi* actions lo present, if |rf>*MMe, (h*- rLJn ul
her 1 cannot hni Ime, how ill 9i>cver I Imin hrr-n
tmted. Not knowing nu> lu l>i: hi^ [iiii!. h^'
brou^hl me nlonK with hin>. ^^ 4 ttrincd in L>hi*
dou ytstfrduy, «iid I am ivtvi Bcnt hy hiiu to give
your dauchtcr (tn^Rlrlv tlii^ letter.

&r JoAh. What cno it tcnil lo * 1 know not
what to tliink ; hut it I find Ik' dare^ to mtiuii me
f'ni'iSt t>r thift ^imhI h»nil

Grten. Tlicn let lur icll re, he racaus ynu
«illain<Mn wmiig. The ruin of vour dtuie'iif r i*
oonttivrd ; I hi>ard ihr plnl ; und tfii«t very ittler
u to put it in execution.

&> J.iAn. Whiit *hnH Ido>

Crrm. I>^tie »ll lo me. I'll deliver the let-
ter, and, hv h«- U-ha\ttmp, »-c ^hall liuow tH-tlcT
how to take our measures. But how shall I sec
ktrf

Sit /(lAn- She is m the next room ; I'll go in
and vroti her to vou.

Grttn. If you tell licr ffbo it 1%, perhaps nhe
•ill iHii he »rtn.

S*r Jaha. I won't. {Exit.

BiiferMiss KmT.

Killv. Rlr«i me ! ii not that air Timothy's li-
*cry ! I^liirfr.]— I*ruy, ar, \i «r Timothy FlaiJi
cwt>c to Inwo r

Grtm. Yes, madam.

Kilty. l»o<)d lack ! is it vou } What new whim
!)■>« yuu sM in voiir he*i4l now, prnv^

Greem- No iww ivhim in niv heiut, lint an old
one in my bcarT, whidi, 1 aui ai'ruid. mjII tuA In-
CK^iW rcu>«>red.

Ktifv lit teed, youne man, [ nm •vny for it :
but :id my answer already, awl I w«in-

6er ' rroiidle nte autiu,

Ortcri And ik it ibii» yon receive me ! Is ihr>
ibc rrwani »1' all inv fnitlUul Unc f

KiUjtr. iait 1 help your bfiiic in ]ave? Vtu
MTB 1 ((nn'l flrMrf il ; I ni>li ynti \v<)uld not teazt
■a with viiur iin|>criinriit tmr- niiv rnorC-

CIrcnt. Wtiy, fh»-ti, dul vini i iKriiuniie il * For
pi* IDC IrAs* lo Miy. you oiu'e did love ine.

Ktitf. Pedtn)!^ i ntitiht, wlien I thiMj)t))i mv-
ttH but ytJiir equal : htit novr, I thittk, ynii can-
■bC, m iDudesly, prutcnd la luc utiy loitgcr.

Gmn. ^'ain, fooliih pirl ! for Heav/»n'» sake,
wlial alierution do you (tnd in yuursvJf for tlie
hfiter ? In nlmt, I wonder, does the fine lady
dinVr from the miller's dnui-hter ? linvc yon raoraJ
wit, more M:n»c, nr more virtue, than you had be-
I'ufc ? Or arc yon in any thini; altered from your
formf'r bclf, except in pride, fuJIy, and offecta-
tion ?

Kittif. Sir, let rac tell yoo, these arc liberties
tlml ihni't become you ut nil. Miller's dau^hier!
Green. Come, come, Kitty ; fop shame ! lay
n^iite thette foolish iiirs of the line lady; return to
yiitif'^^lf, Hiict let ine nrtk you one vrion^ rjueslioo:
Do you realty think »ir Timotliy designs to many
you?

Kitty. Vou arc xcry impertinent to ask ma
unch a qiicMiuo; lint, to .•tik-ncc your prcmrop-
ti"n f(>r ever — I'm sure lie dctiixns it.

Grren. I'm glad she ihinKi^ so, howerer.
[,/jijf/r.]. Nny, then, I do not expect yon will re-*
sii>n rhc fliUterUig pnMpect of weutth and gmn*
dc.ir, tji liic in a dttaee on a liltJc funn. *Tl%
true, I «liall he ind(-p«MLclnit of nil itit: n<irld; my
funn, however siniUI, »ill be my own, uaiuurt*
jilted.

Kifttf. Psha! cna ymi tiuy roe fine clotliea?
C:in you keep tne a eoach } Cnii you make mc a
hidyr If not, I iidviw you to go tlouii i^ain to
viMir pitjfiil fai-iii, and marry somebody suitable
to your rnuL

SONG.

Adieu to ynnr cart and your plough ;
I Bconi ti> milk ymir cow,

Yoiir turkeys and eeese,

Yotir butler and chceiic.
Are mtich lielow me now.

If ever I wed,

I'll hold up iny head,
Ami be a line lady, I vow.

And so, sir, vour vety hutnblc scrrant.

(irert. .Vay, mndam, you Hhall ttoC leave mn
vet; 1 have ^miethint; more to sav htforc wn
pirt. Suppoiic thi!> worthv, honourable kni^it,
iiiMead ot innrriui^e, should only have a I»«se de-
M^ii uptin your tiriiief

Kitii/. We senriM it : Noj be lorcs mCi and I
Icnoiv will marry ine.

Gtrra. Dear Kitty, be not deceived ; I knoir
he wi'll imt.

Kitty. You know nothing of the matter.

OrccH. Head tliiu, und be cijniinccd. ,

[Sheraub.

* My dear nni^el,

' I could no I'lnner ftar in the conntrr, wlicn

* ynu «;i«» tiitl there to make il aureenhle. I cnine

* tootwnyi'iterdttv; nnd bcc, if possible, you will,
' thw eii-mivfc, make mc hap^y with your coin-
' paiiy. L will Qicet yon at a r«lMion'> ; my t^

116

BRITISH DRAMA.

[DoDftBV.

* vant will conduct you to thelioase. I am irn-
' patient till 1 throw myself into your arms, and

* convince you how luuih I aui,

* Your fond and passionate admirer,

* TiuoTBY Flash.'

Kitty. Weil, and what is there in this to con-
vince lue of his ill intentions r

Green. Enough, I think. If his designs an
honourable, why are they not open ? Why does
he not come to your father's house, and make his
proposals ? V\ hy are you to be met in the dark,
at a stranger's?

Kitijf. Let me see — * III meet you at a reln-

* tiou's; my servant will conduct you ;' indeed 1
don't know what to think of that.

Green. I'll tell yon, madam; that preteftded
relation is a notorious bawd.

Kitty. 1'is false; you have contrived this story
to abuse me,

Oreen. No, Kiuy, so well I love you, that, if
I thouf^ht his designs were just, I could rejoice
in your happiness, though at the expeucc of my
own.

Kitty. You strangely surprise me ! I wish I
knew the truth.

Green. To.convince you of my truth, here is
a direction to the house in his own hand, which
he himself gave me, lest I should mistake: Whi-
tlier, if you still duubt my sincerity, and tliiuk
proper to ^0, 1 am ready to lie your conductor.

Kilty. And is this the end of all his designs?
have I been courted tmly to my ruin ? my eyes
arc MOW loo clearly opened. Wtiat Iiave I bi-en
doiii^ i

Green. If you are hut so convinced of your
danger, as to avoid it, I am satisfied.

Enter Sir John.

Sir John. What do I hear? Are you recon-
cile<l. then ?

Kilty. Mv dear father ! J have been cheated
BDd tihubcd.

A" Jonn. I hope your virtue is untouched ?

Kilty. 1 hat 1 will alwavs preserve.

Sir John. I hen I fortive you any thine. Rut
how »lmll we be revengtd on this scoundrel
knight P

Kitty. Contrive but that, and I am easv.

Gteen. As his ba!» desitns have not been exe-
cuted, 1 thmk, if we could t-xpose and laugh ai
him, it would be stitfacient pimishment.

Sir John. It' it cuuld be duiie severely.

Kitty. I clank it may. i littieve I have found
out a way to be reveuecd on him; come with nic
into the next room, and we'll put it in execution.

Enter a Servant.

Ser. Sir, a gentleman dewres to speak with
you.

&> John. I'll come to him. Go you together,
d'ye hear, and contrive your design.

[Thty go out teveralbf.

SCENE m.

Enter Sir John ami the King, duguiied.tt a
collegiate.

Sir John. No compliments, I tell ye, but come
to the point : What is your busioev ?

King. As I appear to you in the habit of a
cullejriate, you may fancy I «ni some queer pe-
dantic fellow ; but 1 asnure you, I am a person of
some Inrth, and had a liberal educatioa. I have
seen the world, and kept the best company. But
living a little too freely, and having ftpent die
greatest part of my fortune on women and wine,
I was persuaded, by a certain aoblenian, to take
orders, and he would eive me a living, which he
said was coming into his hands. I was just clo-
sing with the proposal, when the spiteful incum-
bent recovered, and I was disappointed.

Sir John. Well, and what's all this to me?

Xing. Why, sir, there is a living now (alleii,
which IS in the king's gift, and I hear you have
so grHjd an interest with his majesty, that 1 am
persuaded a word from yuu, in my tavtMir, would
be ol' fireat service to me.

Sir John. And what must that word be, pray?

King. Nay, that I leave to you.

Sir John. You are in the right; and III tell
you what it shall be. That von, being a s«i8F*
less, idle-licaded fellow, and liniit^ ruined ymir^
self by your own follv and extravagance, yoo
therefore think yourself highly qnali6ed to teach
mankind their duty. Will that do?

Kin/i. You are m jest, sir.

Sir John. Upon my word, but I am in earnest.
I think he thiit recommends a profliirate wretch
to the must serious function in life, merely for
the sake of a juke, gives as bad a proof of his
morals, as he does of hia wit.

King. Sir, I honour your plain-dealing. Yoa
exactly answer the character I ha%'e beard of
\uur uncommon sincerity; and, to let yon see
thut I nm capable of something, I have wrote a
poem in praise of that virtue, which I bc^ leave
to present to you, and hope you will receive it
kindly. [6icr< Aim the poem.

Sir John. Sir, I am not used to these thiogs:
I don't understand them at ail ; but let's ace--
fSiR John rtaJn.] — ' \ poem in praise of the in>
coniparnble sincerity and uncommon hooesty of
the woriliy sir John Cockle,' &c. — Enough, e-
nuugh ! — R poem in praise of sincerity, witli a ful-
wxne compliment in the very title, is extmnrdi-
uary indeed ! Sir, I am obliged to you fnr your
kind intentions; your wit and your poetry may
be very fine, for aught I know ; hm a little mote
common senw, I believe, could do you no hario.
King. He i^ not to be flattered, 1 find; hot
rn try what bribery will do. Tliut, I'oi aftai(^
2

DoOSLEY.]

BRITISH DUAMA.

117

I

I

I

hit»«Tenr body's tnslc. [Jsid^.]— Shall I beg one
woM inurv wiiti v<'u? Mr, vuu are ii ciiitlomati
of ihe ircftlcM tmcc-rUy aitH honour I ever met
with, ind, for ihnt roASon, [ •ihall always have
the hi^hnt rui[4rd for jou in tlir world, and for
all ihiii hrlMiiiit In Ttiu. I Iwnr your diiiichtrr i^
fp>iiiK III Ik< inMTtrd ; let mc Ik^ Icbw Ut |irt:M:ul
her Miin tltU dmiiiorid bucLle.

Sir John. Sir, yiw vurprise me very much ;
pr«v. mIiiu tnav lite value <>t' tliiit he?

Xm-. rb«t'» iioi wiMTh mentioning — about five
himdrrd iMiiiiids, I bfltevc.

Sir JoAh. Why, did iiotjrnii tell mp^juKt now,
thai tifu hail spent nil vmir fortiine?

KiHU- I did Ml : but it Ma» for a particidnr
KasiHi: and ytiu tUiUi hud 1 am itot ttn poor a& I
reprr^nied mystflf.

S^r John I uni L>lad of it. But, pray, how am
I to n-iiini ihu c&inDtrdinnrv t:ener<)sily ?

Kimf^. I eupcct ui> return, ^ir, i)|)Oii my ho-
oaar ; thnuch you Itave it in ;our |iowcr to oh-
ligp IDT trry luiirh.

Sir John. Ouii't inctitiun th« liviitc, fur that I
lave Udd ]r*)U alroidy you arc not fit I'ur

Eing, I m»o'L Bai thwrc is h ferltiin place
•t court of annilicr kind, which 1 hiive luti^
liad a mind to cTistrue, tlirrc i* a sorrr. inMcni-
ficaiit fellow in |i'i«)<e^KHi of it »t pre*ic-nt ; hut
be'ft nf fM wr^'ice; and I know your |><>werwiili
the king; n word or two from you would won
diftWAM'M bini.

Str Joim. But what must bo Iw disposKssefl
for?

Kimf. To roak« room for nie, ih-At's uti.

Hir John. Hum Indeed it wiMi't do with

me — lirre, iHle it a^n; and lei iim* tell y<tii, I
aui Uf>t tit be dnltcrrd into a fotijiDJi llimg, ntir
bnbcd into a haw hop.

Kimg, \divavinHf: himteff^ Then thiiu art my
fiiciifl. and I will Itei-p thee iieit my heart.

Str Jitia. .\ml 'i\ il vtiur in<i|e<>ty f

Kn*e. ilc n<tt !<iir|>n>tfd; it is ytiur own mav-

bn. thui a ktnit cnnu'il be t')o muliouit ui tryitic

ihfJMi he difsi^ns In tru!il. I'^nruivc tliii

■I hiiie Intd tliy himeslv, and will no

»|»CCt IL

Eater GarENvrooD.

Gretn. Sr, I um rnme to let Mis? Kitty know
pni ±^t:U, ihat mj master will be hcxc, ilitiguiscd,
ii»iDcdi»i«ly.

Str Join. Will he. i Well, go into the next
roocn, and let I (icr so. If uMir majcHty «iil[ Iw
■o iqod aa In renrc tiilu llii» i liuii^hcr u while, vnii
■nil Iwar smm-iliiu^, pvrlKtps tlui will divert you.

JEttfer Jo p.

Jif. Sir, bere'i a mAid-ttcn'nnt come to he
Urrd.

&r Join, Let her come in. Hi sprak to hrr
ptaamlljl. \_lLjit vt/A the king.

Enter Sir Tnit)THY, Higuited tx$ a maid-ier^
vant.

Sir 'Vim. Well, I nm chli|;cd to iho dear |^r
for tliit kind nmtriranott of getriug mo into the
h<iu>c with her. 'Hvill be charmingly conve-
iiicnt

Jle-fn/rr Sib Jans. '

Sir Tim. Sir, X heard that the youn|i ladyv '
your duti£;liter, wanted a svniint, and I should ba
prrmil uf Uic liuiinur lo %cr\c her.

Sir John. My diiuahter will he here presently.
Prav, my dpnr, wlinl'it ynr immc ?

liir 'I'im. Fuith, I never thonght of that ; what
shnll I Mty? [^side.}~Bet.ty, nr.

Sir John, And pray, Mm Betty, who did yoa
live with ln»t ?

iSir 7Vot. Pojt of his impertinenre ! he has
non-plusvd me upain.— ^[^iiJ^.J Sir» I — 1 — livctl
with sir Tiumthy Flaih.

Sir John. Ah. a vile fellow that! a rery vil«
fctli>w, wiM iHtt he f Did he pay you your wagea? ,

Sir 77j7i. Yi'S *ir — I shall be even with you i
f<ir this hy and by. [Aitdf.

Sir John. You was well ofl^ then ; foe they
any its what he very seldom dor%. Sml pay ! —
I mn icll you, ime part of your hnslne^^ iiiH«it he
to watch that villain, lh»t he doc« not dehAiich
mv danohtor : for I hcnr he designs it. Hut I
ho|i<- wp «hall prevent him.

Sir 'l\m. I'll tjikc fare oflicr, sir, lo Iw wire — ■
I burst with luughu-r to think huw chnnnm^ly
nc ^hall t:uU the old fellow ! [Atidc

Sir John. Kate!

Entrr MiasKiTTT.
IIcrr'H a innid for yuii, Kate, if you like her

Kitlj^. <) 1 Ard ! a maid ! why i^hu'R a moiuter !
I iK-vr-r law M) iiiflv a iliiiit! in all mv life.

.^ir Tim. TlicB cunning; jade does this to blittd
the rild foul. [Aitde,

Kitly. I'rav, child, what can you do f

Sir Tut). I'll do the U-st I can to ptcaw you,
lur^d.un. uiid I don't qitetiUou )>ut I shall do.

httti/. Indeed you wim't do.

Sir Tim. I hope I shall, madnin, if you please-
to try me.

Kilti/. No, T durst not try you, indeed.

Sir 141/1. WfiT, niadiim ?

Kilfy. Mcthinks you look like a fool; I hate
a fodl.

.S»V JiAn. Nny. my dear, don't abuse the vimng
woniau ; upon niv woni, [ ilnnk she looks mighty
well. Hold up your head, child. 0 Ijord ! Mrt
Betty, you huve ^ol ii tn-nnl, inethinks.

[Strnkrs hrr yndrr Ihf chin,

Kittif. What ! ha?t [Irity cot a beard ? lIl^ Iw,
ha! Ah, B*'itv • why did not you ihiiveclu»crf
Bui I told ye vnu uhs u fool !

Sir JitHi. \VcM — iiaU what wages do you ca-
pi'i'l, uiy dear i

118

BRITISH DRAMA.

[DoDSLsr.'

Kitty. Ay, what work do jon deagn to do, mj
dear?

Sir John, How cleTerW you have bit the old
fool, ha !

Kitty. And how charmin^y we shall laugh at
faim hy and by, ha !

Sir John. Now don't you think you look like a
puppy?

Kitty. Poor air Hmothy ! are you disappoint-
ed, love ? Com^ don't naogty, and 111 sug it a
song.

■ SONG.

Ah, Ittdcless kuigfat ! I mourn thy case :

Alas 1 what hast thou done '
Poor Betty ! thou bast lost thy place ;

Poor knight ! thy sex is goiie I

I^am, henceforth, from this disaster.
When for ^rls you lay your ploti^

That each miss expects a master
In breeches, not in petticoats.

Sir John and Kitty. Ha, ha, faa !

Sir Zlm. Zoons ! am I to be used in tlus man-
aer? And do you think i will bear it unre-
Ten^ed?

Kitty. And hare tou the impudence to think
you are not well used?

Sir John. Nay, nay, if he's not satisfied, in-
•tead of the entertainment he expected, suppose
we give him what he deserves. Who's within,
there?

Enter three or four Servontt, Sir Timothy rtiiu
o^, and they after him.

Sir John. The/11 overtake him ; and I don't
doubt but they'll give him the discipline he de-
•ervM.

Enter King, Gbszitwood, ami Ccurtiert.

King. After what you have bdd me, I tlnnk
they cannot use him too ill. Madam, I wish yoa
joy of your escape from the rain whicA threaten-
ed vou.

kitty. The king ! I thank your majeity.

King. And I am glad to hw that yon are i^
conciled to an honest man tbat deserret you.

Kitty. I see my error ; and I hope, by my fo-
ture conduct, to make amends for the nneasineai
I have given to so good a father.

Sir John. My dear ddld, I am fully satisfied :
and I hope thou wilt every day be more and
more convinced, that the nappiness of a wifis
does not consist in a title, or nne appearance of
her husband, but in the wor^ness of his tenti-
roents and the fondness of bis heart.

King. And now, my good old man, bencefor^
be thou my friend. I will give thee an apart-
ment in my palace, that thou mayest always ha
near my. person. And let me conjure thee ever
to preserve this honest, plain sincerity. Speak
to me freely, and let me hear the voice of cnidi.
If my people complain, convey their grieratioes
faithfully to my ear ; for how should kius re*
dress those ills, whidi flatterers hide, orwTdicd
men disguise ?

iSir JoAit, I thank your majesty for the confi-
dence you have in me : my heart, I know, is ho-
nest, and my adtction to your majesty sincere —
but as to my abilities, alw ! they are but soudl ;
yet, ^uch as they are, if it clash not with my du^
to the public, they shall always be at your ma-
jesiv's service.

Jting. I'd have you just to both.

But let your country's pood he first your m'm ;
Un this our honest miller builds his'claim,

At least for pardon ; if you please, for fame. ,

[ExemiU ommtt.

:'}

SCEXEI— Gjiyliss's lodgitigi.

Enter G AH iKSi and SttkHP.
K Uow, lir, shall you be mnrncd to*mor-
1 1 I'm ainud yw joke witli jour poor

WTTBal.

I tell th«c, Shiirp, Iftrt night McKsmi cnn-
mud lixcd tu-ntorruw fur Uic tmpn? duy.
9. I'bvrell slie did, sJr, or it mi^hc have
drfodful one for as in onr prencnt con-

sU yinir money ^p(:llt; vour moveiible»
our twnour almost ruined, and your liunt-
nmt almost itarred : wc could nut uumi-
e u<xk1 ii Iwo diiys lungrr— But it tlii^
aHy will marry you, and relieve us, o* my
DCG I'll turn friend to the Mt, mil do
A matrimuny, but curse the whurca, and
if a wife myself.

. Aiul yec, ■'Tharp, when I think how I have
d upou ber, 1 am almmt resolved to ttiron

W ber feet, tetl her the real sitaation of
lin, ask her patdon, ard imploic her pity.

Sharp. After marriafce, with all my heart, nr;
but don't let your conM.-ii-i)cv and buu'iur m> far
get the better of your povi-ity and good sense, as
lu rely on so £n-Hl unccrlaitity as a line lady's
mercy and f;<»»d-uaiure.

Gay. I know her ^eiterous temper, and am al-
moM pcrsnadod to rely uptxi it. What ! becmosQ
I uiti puur, iihall 1 abaiiilon my honour?

Siuirp. \ V3, you must, sir, or abaudun me. So>
pray, discharge one ol us ; for eat I muftt, and
MpetxliLy loo: and ^ou know very well, tliat thiit
liuaour of yours wtil neither intitxiuce you to a
ereat tnan'ft tabic, nor get me credit for a single
Iteef-stilik.

Cay. Wliflt can I do?

Sfiarp. Nothing, while honour sticks io yoor
thrunl. Do, gulp, master, and down witli iL

Gay. Prithee leave me to ray thoujehis.

Ukarp. Leave you ! No, not in sucti bad com-
pany, 1 II assure you. Why, vou must certainly
be a very grcut philo»oplicr, sir, to moralize atxl
declaim so charutiita^y as you do, about bouou

IflO

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gabrick.

snd consdcnce, when your doors are beset with
bailiffs, and not one single guinea in your pocket
.to bribe the villains.

Gay. Don't be wlttjr, and give your advice,
sirrah.

Sharp. Do you be wise, and take it, lir. But,
to be serious, ^ou certainly have spent your for-
tune, and out-lived your credit, as your pockets
and my belly can testify. Your father has dis-
owned you ; all your friends forsook you, except
myself, who am starving with you. Now, sir, if
you inarnr this young lady, who, as yet, tliank
Heaven, knows nothing uf your mufortnnes, and
by that means procure a better fortune than that
you have squandered away, make a good hus-
band, and turn economist, you still may be hap-
I]y, may still be sir Wi1liam*s heir, and the
ady too no loser by the bargain. Tlicre's reason
and argument, sir.

(jay. Twas with that prospect I first made
love to her; and, though my fortune ha< been ill
spent, I have at least purclused discretion «ith
it.

Sharp. Pray, then, convince me of that, sir,
and make no more objections to the marriage. —
Yuu see I am reduced to my waistcoat already ;
and when necessity has undressed me from top
to toe, she must b^ln with you, and then we
shall be forced to keep house and die by inches.
Look you, sir, if you won't reuotve to take my
advice, while you hare one coat to your back, I
must e'en take to my heels while I have strength
to run, and something to cover me. So, sir, wish-
ing you much comfort and consolation with your
bare conscience, I am your most obedient'and
half-8tar%-ed friend and servant.

[Going.

Gay. Hold, Sharp ! You won't leave me ?

Sharp. 1 must eat, sir ; by my honour and ap-
petite, I must.

Gay. Well, then, I am resolved to favour the
dieat ; and as I khall quite diange my former
course of life, happy may be the consequences :
Itt least of this I am sure

Sharp. That you can't be worse than you are
•t presenL

Gay. [A knocking icitbout.] — Who's there f

Sharp. Some of your former good friends, who
favoured you with money at fifty per cent, and
lielped you to spend it, and are now become
daily memento's to you of the (oWy of Crusting
rame^ following whores, and laughing at my
advice.

Gay. Cease your impertinence ! To Uie door !
If they are duns, tell them my marriage is now
certainly fixed ; and persuade them still to for-
bear a few days longer, and keep my circum-
stances a secret, for their sakes as well as my
own.

Sharp. O never fear it, sir : they still have so
much friendship for you, as not to desire your
riiin to their own disadvantage.

Gay. And, do you hear. Sharp, if it should be
any body from Melissa, say I am not at home;
lest the bad appearance we make here, should
make them suspect something to our disadvaft-
tage.

Sharp. I'll obey you, sir ; bat I am afraid they
will enisily discover the ctinsumptive stuatioo <u
our affairs, by my chop-fallen countenanoe.

[Ejit Sharp.

Gay. These very rascals, who are now cont^
nually dunnii^ uid persecuting roe, were the
very persons who led me to mv ruin, partook of
tuy prosperity, and professed the greatest friend-
ship.

Sharp. [WithoHt."] — Upon my word, Mn Kit-
ty, mv master's not at home.

Kitty. [Without.]— hooi^ey Sharp, I most and
will sec iiim.

Guy. lia! Whittdol hear? Melissa's maid !
What has brought her here? My poverty has
made her my enemy, too — She is certainly come
with no good intent — No friendship there with-
out fees — She's coming up stairs — What mtut I
do i I'll get into this cjoaet and listen.

[Exit GaTLiai.

Enter Sharp and Kittt.

Kitty. I must know where he is ; and will
know, too, Mr impertinence.

Sharp. Not of me ye won't. — [.Jsjrfr.l— He's
not within, I tell you, Mrs Kitty; I dontknow
myself. Do you think 1 can conjure?

Kitty. But I know you will lie abomioahly;
therefore, don't trifle with me. I come from my
mistress, Mclibsa : you know, I suppose^ what*sto
be done to-morrow morning ?

Sharp. Av ; and to-morrow night too, girL

Kitty. Not if I can help it.— {>i«de.]--BBt
cimie, where is your master? For sec Inm I
must.

Sharp. Pray, Mrs Kitty, wha^s your ofunioB
of this match between my master and your nu^
tress?

Kitty. Why, I have no opinion of it at all;
and yet most of our wants will he rriieved by i^
too: iot instance, now, your master wiU f/A a
good fortune; that's what I'm afraid be waets:
my mistress will get a husband ; tfaatfs what she
has wanted ftH" some time ; yon wiU hsm it*
pleasure of m^ conversation, and I an ofifan^
nity of breakup yonr head for yoor io^iMF
nenre.

Sharp. Madam, I'm your roost horoble h^
vant. But I'll tell you what, Mrs Kitty, 1 am
positively aeninst the match : for was I • asitflf
my master's fortune——

Kitty. You'd marry if you coald, and mtad it
— Ha, ha, ha ! Pray, Sliarp, where docs jov
master's estate lie f

Gay. Oil, the devil, what a qaestioo was dNi*!

I

Gariick.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

\t\

I

Sitmrp. lie ! Li« ! Why, it lie^—fmith, I can't
■miM wi; putimlar plkre; it ties in so mitiiy.—
Hk «flactt wt divided, vmic Iiltc, sumo t1i«rr ;
hit ^tcMtfd hiuillv knows liinisclf.

Ktttjf. >ai(U-r»l, vcnttcrcd, t suppose. But,
Wrk'c, Sdwrp. wliiu'$ becntnr of jp«ur furniture?
You *cem to be a Itctlc \nti: here at present.

Cejp. Wbat, bu sbc found out that, too i

[Atidc.

Sktfp, VVby. vou niU5t know, as lonn as ttic
««d(fiiw wa» fiiJted, my moster ordered me to re*
imive hu good* iota a fnond't linu«r, in iudVc
mni for « boll whicU be designi tu ^ivc here the
dfty after the marnapr.

Ai7fV- 1^ luckieftt tli\a^ to the world ! Vcv
toy nitstresA i1cvi;ds to have a ball oad entertain-
raeM herv, irwti^ht, before the tnnrnage; and
ihit'it my bu!>ii>i.-» nitli your maMcr.

SJkirrp. Th« devil it is ! [Aude.

Kitly. Shell ncit hnve it pubbc; nW designs
l»ta«Ltc only eight or tea couple of friends.

S/imrp, 2iu more?

Kitty. No fDore : nnd the ordered mc to de-
sire yoar master not to makc: a great entertain-
netts.

Skmrp. Oh, never fcnr

Kitty. I'cQ Of 0 dofcn little nice thinfcs, with
aorar Iniit, I believe, will be euough in all con-
science.

Siiarp. Oh, curse your conscience ! lAudr.

Kittf. And wluu do you think 1 have dooc of
tsT own brad?

SUrp, What !

Kitty. I hnve invitM all my lord Siatel/s «ei^
taots bo ootne and w you, and have a dance in
tbe kilcticn : Wrai't ynur muster l)c xurpriscdf

Skmrp. Much so indeed !

Kiltif. Wall, be quick and lind out your mas-
ter, and make what haste you can nith your pro-
pMCKW*: you hare no 'time tu I'mc. fntliee,
^harfl^ wha^s the mnltrr with ynu? 1 buvc nut
actn jva for hiuis time, oad you !iecT» to look a
finlff ihia.

Skmrp, Oh my unfortunate &ce! — \Aiiitif.]-~
t^nBORgood health, thoiik yim, Mn Kitiy;
■ol tllaaaore you I're a very ipmiI stomuch; ne-
ver better in all my life; anil I am as full of vi-

inr, huuv

[Offert to kin hrr.

Ktilp. What, with that face ! Well, bye, bye.
— (Coufjr.] — Oh, Sharp, what ill-lnokin|; frilow!!
•re iktne* wrrt ataadiflg about your door tvhtn
1 otiB* ua } Tbey tnutt yuur master too, I sap-

Sharp. Hum 1 Yes ; they are nraitinc for him.
Ihey arc anme of hi^ lenants uui of the country,
tkat want t'l pay him same money.

Ktt(y. Teitaiita ! \\ bat, do you let bis tciiaiit>
«»nd m liiL' street?

^W/<. fTliey diouse it : )U they seldom coinL'
^ tuint, they are wilhti{ to sec as muck of it as

they can, when they do ; ctiey are raw, ignorant
honest people.

Kilty. Well, I mint nm home : farewell — but
du you hear, get something »ut*«4>iiittal for us in
the kitchen — a ham, a turkey, or what you will —
we'll be very merry; and be sure to remove the
tables ami chnint awav tlit-rc toi), that wn ntay
have room to dmice : ( can't bear to Itc coufinott
in my French donees ; tal, lal, lal — ^Datuiif;.] —
Well, adieu! Without any compbment, I sliall
die if I doa't see you soon.

[Esit Ktrrr.

Sharp. Aiul, without any compliment, I pray
Heaven you may I

Enter Gatless.

[ Thfy look for f one time *orroa.Jml ai r«rA
other.

Gay. Oh, Sharp !

Sharp. Oh, miuter !

Gap. We are certainly undone I

tihMrp. 'Plat's no nc«'fe to mc.

Gay. Right or ten couple of dancers — ten or a
dozen little nice dishes, n ith S(»me fruit — my lord
Sutrly's servants— bam and turkry !

Sharp. Say no more ! ll)t: rcry sound creotes
an appetite : and I am &ure of bte I have bad
HU occasion for whelttr* aittl pnivo«iii\c*.

Guv. Cursed mi&forlnnc ! What can we do?

^itarp. Hang; ourv?lves. I sc« no otivcr rcioo-
dy, except you Iwve a receipt to give a ball and
a supper, without meat or music.

Gay. MoliisH ha<i ccrtiiinly ttcard of my had
drctimstancc*), nnd hns invented thi« sclteine to
distrrsa mc, nnd break ufl' lite luatdi.

S/tarp. i don't believe it, sir; bc^iig your
pardon.

Gay. No? Why did her maid, then, nuike «o
strict an inguiry into mv fortune nnd nStiirs?

Sfiarp. for tMo \cry ^^bHlalltial reiisons : the
first, to witisfy a curiosity natural to her as a wo-
man; the !VTond, to have the pleAaore (^ my
conversation, very nntunil to her as a woman of
taste and nuderstonding.

Gay. Prithee, be more aerknis -. U noi our all
at stake f

Sharp. Yea, wr; and yet that all of ours i* <tf
so hide consequence, that a man, willi a very
small shore of philoviphv, may port from it with-
out much pain or uneasiness. Ilowcver, lir, 1*11
convince you, in Imlf an Itour, that Mrs Melisui
knows nodiioi; of your ctrxmniManrcs; and I'll
tell you what too, sir, she shan't be here to-m^ht,
ond yet you shsJI marry her to-morrow mortt-
ing.

Gay. Ifow, how, <h:ar SItorp ?

Sharp. Tis here, here, sir! \Varm,wnno; fthd
delays will cool it: therefor*, I'll awny to Iwr,
mid do yoa be as merry as lo^e and poverty will
permit you.

BRITISTI DRAMA.

[Gavrick*

Would voti siicceetl, r faithful friend depute,
%V|iuW Iscad con pliui, and front can execute.

I am the man ! and I hope you neitlicr dUpuCe
my friviidsliip nor qualifications?

Gu(/. Indrcd I don't, i'rittict^ be gone.

pbiiri>. I fly ! [Zixunt.

SCEXE n.— Melissa's iodgings.

Knter Melissa and Kitty.

MeL Yi>ii «irpri*e me, Kitty ! The matter aot
I liwnie— rlic mnn in ton!'usion^nt> furniture in

the hnii^e nod ill-lnokiiig felluws nhout the

doors ! ' Vfi nil u riddle.

Kittfi. Hitt very ctt»y lo be explained.

Mel. Vnthve, explnhi it, llit n ; our keep mc
loii-'cr ill su»pi-nce.

Kitty. Hw nffiiir is rhi?, mndnm : Mr Guv'eM
iii over ItCHd nnti cun m lU'lit; yi>u uremerliead
ntidcflrs in Im-c; ymill lunrry liitn to-morrow;
the next day your whule fitrtiine goet to liis cre-
Hilon. «iid you nnd your rliildreii arc to Iitc cora-
I'lirlBlily iipuii xlw rfinnmdcr.

ilcl. I ruiitiot think him b««e.

kttti/. Uut I know Ihcy ure all hnsr. You are
very voiinifj nnd very i;:ni»rant of llic «CJt; I am
vi>uitg, loit. hut liavc hud iimrc r\iH;rieiice : Vou
iiertr ivii% iti Ime in-furc; 1 liu\t:' been in love
uilh an hundrid. and tried them hU; and knuM
tlu>iii lit U' 1 |)nrct-l tif liarlMraus, perjured, dc-
ludlii{!. bi'Mit^'lung dcvili.

Met- The lotT wretches you have lind lo do
\iilh, tiiny on^uer t)>c clwnictcr yoagirctliem;
hut WrUnylcss

Kitty. Iv a man, mndam.

Mtf. I lope so. Kitiy, ur I would have no-

ttiiu<* lo rh> nith liim.

Kitti/. With nil my litart— ■■! have ei%*cn you
inr «*ntimi>nt» utinii the ocriLMon, and snail leave
yuu ti> %uiir imn iudiuutiuitB.

Aiei. Oh, mndnm, 1 om miirti nhlii^Ml In you
Cir ynur tinnt cnudcsccnsiow— ha. ha, tin \ How-
rtcr, I havi' Ml proat h irpanl fur ynur opinion,
ihat hml I nriiiin prtiofs ul' his tilluuv— — - —

Kiitfj. Of lir« porerty, vou mny have a hun-
dtwl: \ am frurr, I ItiiveWl none to the con-
n-arv.

Mel. Oh, tlien.' (he »hoe pinches ! [Atule.

Kittif. Nnv, »i> fur from giving mc the n^ual

fcnpiuiu-^ iif m% pincr* he nns ont >o mwli ns
cpi Bic in temper, with little endeuring civili-
itr»: t>nd ottc mi;;ht rcasutiably tufmct, tvhca d
iiiitn )'• flf^cic-iit in one »ay, tlmt hrtlxiuM make
it up in nni>t^u.-r, [KtmiiiHg uitkuttt.

'Ahl. Kc who it) at ihc door. [KiiVKitn.]
I mii%t be cnuUoii» bow 1 lienrLeii too much to
tUi> eiti, IJrr bud opiiii>N)of Mr Ou^lcss secnii
Id ariuu fro^i his dikrijjanJ of her.

FnfrrSuARP andKlTTT,

— So, Sluu-p, have you found tour master?

Wilt iMngs l>c ready for the ball and cnCertuir-
mciit ^

Sharp. To your wt»he«, niadnm. I bnve jttst
niiw bespoke tiie music and cupper, and wait
now tor rour hidv^hip's further commanrin.

Mel. My cutnphnictiU to vour master, and let
him know, 1 and roy cum^tHny nil) he nttb htm
by iix ; ue dcfii^n to drink tea and play at catUs,
before we dance.

Kitty. So shall I and my ooinpaiiy, Mr Sharp.

Sharp. Mighty well, mndnm !

MrL Prirhcr, Sharp, nhat makeft yon lunie
witliout your coot ? Ti* too coo! to go to airy,
scirf.

Kitty. Mr Shnrp, mndnm, is of a very botoon*
siitutiou-* — ho, ha, ha '.

Sharp. If it fiad been ever so cool, I haw
hnri t-oougb to warm mc since I came fran
ItoiDO, I am sure ; bat oo matter for thai.

[Sighing.

MeL Whnt dVc mean ?

Sharp. Pray, dnn'i *3k mc, mndam ; I beicflCfa
yon, don't : let us chanfie the buhjecc.

Kilty. Insist upon knnnmi; it, mndnm! Hj
curiosity mu3t be uuislied, or I sliall bunt.

lAtHr.

Mel. I do inuftl upon knowing On ftau

of my displeasure, icll mc-

Stiiirp. If my ma»tcr sitould know— I mud not
tell vMli, madam, indeed.

Met 1 prorot&e you, opon my bimour, he t»-
vpr shall.

S/iiirp. But can your ladyiibip insure wtavj
frcm that quarter ?

Kitty. Yes, Mr Jackanapee, for any thiagwr
can wv,

Mel. t engage for her.

Sharp. Why then, tu short, madam— 1 caaMt
tell vnu.

A/i7. Dim't trillc with me.

Sharp. Thcn,sinrc you ailt hare n, nadan—
I litvi my cnat in ripfprtrc «f y«nir rrputatiaa

Mel. In defcuci.* uf niv r«pulntitin !

Sharp. I Kill assure yoa, lundom. I've iufiwf^
vrry uiiirh in defence of it ; nhicb is more lh»a
I would have done for my own,

Met. ['rilhce, explain !

Shiirp. In ftliurt, tmiHaro, you was K«n ^
bout a month ago lo make a Ttait Co mj nkfUr

idfllKT.

Mel. Alone ! my servant ¥ra» with me.

Sharp. \\'\at, Mrs Kttiy? ."so murh thewon*:
for she vta<t h>uk»l upon as my prD|teny. ind 1
waK bniught in f;uilty, as well va you aod my tot*-
tcr.

Kittt/. What, your pmpernr, indtanaprs'

Md What is all this?

I

Gaheick.]

BUITISH DUAMA.

123

\

I

Sharp. Whvi madnm, n I came out but now,
to nuiktt fwepBnition for vuu mitl your i-uiiijuiiiv
to-nigh^ Mn Prv-oboat, Uic ■tinntcy'it Mire, »i
ntu ilaar, calls to me : * Hsrk'o, r«lk>\v,' tnys she,
' «Jo TOO and your nw.lc%t mtiMcr kmuir, [lmt luv

* hoMmnd shall indict your house at the uci'i

* jpuriA OMCtiu^ for n nuirmnce i

JUet. A nuifaacc !

SAarp. I MJd so A nutMuce ! I bclicvr,

none iq Lbo neighbciurliood lire with owirc- tic-
acocf and rcgulnrity ihuii 1 aiiJ inr tna-^lcr
— ^» u really tlip mio— ' Decency and rcgulari-

* tr r cncs she, with nmctr — ' whv, sirniU, iUkj

* aot my winiiuw hmk iiilo ymir niiistir'* IxH-

* chanibfrf and did not he briii^ in a ccrtnin tii-

* ij KtcU a day f dcMrnbnig yiiu, mndmii. * Attd

* l&d DOC I ice— --

Jklrt See! O. srandnloas ! Whii(.>
Simrf, Mudcttly i-cr^uirrt my Kiloiice.
HtL Did not von cunLrndici bcr f
Shmrp. Contnuiict licr! Why, t bilil li(>r, I
VIS Burc lilic litd * I'ur, Toundt ! saitl I. (for I
nuld lutt liclp «»eaniittj lorn so mcII cuininced
uf the lady'iand mv inii«tcr'» pnidence, ihnt 1 am
sunt, had they a mrnd tu anmte th«(ii»Ucs, tlicy
uiiuld certainly have drawn the wiuduw-cur-
tauiB.

Met Wlint, did yoa sny nr)!!)^!]; else? pjd
00* jmi cunvioce licr of her crrur and iinpcni-
MOCCf

SAarp. She swore to such tilings, that I could
do nolhve but swcnr aiiH call tinme<i ; up-m
itluch,ciut bolts h«:r liLuboiMJ ujiun iiiR\>Uli a line
tipcT crab iu hl> hainJ, nml iVU ii|)<fii nic »ttii
nch violence, thntf bciii^^ hair' delirious, I made
a fuU confc«ii>ii.

AM. A full cutifession ! \N'tmt did you om-
tcmt

S^tu^. That my ma-stfr lovrd fitrnication — ■
Hmt you bad no avprMnn to it— that Mrs Kitiy
WW a Imwd, aad vuur humble sen'mit a |jiiiip.

Kiity, A ba«d! a bawd! Uo 1 look liLe ii
faowdl, mMlain }

Skarp. And >o, ntadam, in rhe Kuflfle, my
•ft lorn to pieces, a& well at your rcputu-

McL And su j>}u joined to moke ino infa-

Siii'f- fir Heaven's 4rI(v, mndimi. what could
1 dor Mi« pftxif* fell 5IJ lltii'k ii|Mitt tut--, dd v>it>
ori* my hciid (Vi/«i»^ Ai* Acud pfiiutrrcj.],
iliai I would hHte civeii up all the iiiiiutiMthrmft.
lalhe ku4;(kMm mllmr thiUi have my bniiiik lic-ut
Irt a ieltv.

Iff r. \«-iy wtll ! but ni be rcveitgnl Ami

Mtt you irll your mujiter of this?
rp. Icll him! iNu, inadam. Ilod I told
1u> Iavc i« Ml vinh-iit fur yiiti. that hi' ttonld
«nuialy have murdered h^lf the ntuiniK-t ui
Ivnt by this time.
MtL Very well ! But I am revived pot lu ^o
ra to-ni(ht.

Sharp. llcaTcngandroyiiupudcDcubcpriiiaed !

Kiltt/. Why not, madum? If you arc dul j^il-
ty, law your nccu*crs.

Shirp. Oh the rievd I ruined apiin ! [Audr ]
To l*c i.>jre, face tlmm by all mciuis, modaiu^— >
Thuy can but br abusive, and hreiik the window's

n little Ui'side», mailaiii, I h:ivc tliouj:ht uf a

way to innko llua urtUir iiuilc diverting lo you — 1
huvi> ti fme bluiidrrbuM, chained nitli half m
hundred sliigis and my niastvr hna ii ikiicala
Inrec Swiss bn»»il »tviml ; aiid betMCCi) us, ma-
dum, 1VC !>hidl 9Q pepper and slkv them, Uuit you
will die niiii Intif^iiig.

Mel. Whiil, lit murdt-r?

Kitty. Don't frur, tnndam; iborc will be no
mncdtT if bhurp's cotirrmcd.

Sharp. Municr, uwdam ! Tia self-defence.—
Uc&ides, in these »>rt of ^Liniii-ihc*. theru nra
never more ili:iii tnuor tlin*c Ldled : fur, suppiH
Mti); tlicy hrins iIm* whnlc Urdy of inilitiu ii[Miii
Us down hut with a. farotc of thcui, uiid uvvuy lly
(he rest of tho cnvcy.

.\trL Pcrsnnile me ever so much, I won't go;
ihnt's tuy rcw>!utiou.

Kiltif. Uhv, tiici), I'll tell you uhiit, madam;
iiiice you are n^solved not to |;o tu the supper,
suppose the -iupper rrus tu ctime to you f '1 is a
!;rcat pky iiuch prcpnrarions as Mr 8liarp ha^
ruade should be thntwn uwuv.

Sharp. So it is, vl% tuu say, Mrs Kitty. But I
can inimcdiatclv run back, and mibc»pcnL wUot I
have ordered; 'tit soon douc.

Mel. But tlu-o, wtinl excuse can I scnfj to
your luaster? he'll be very uiicusy at my not co-
ming.

Sharp. Oh. tcrtihiy io ! but I Imve it— III tell
Iiiin you are very mncli tmt of orikr — that you
wore suddflnty i.iLi'ii with the vnpours ortpiitlmft,
»r ivhai vnu plca^r, mndnin.

^frl. t'il leave it lu yon. Shnrp, to mnkc my
npoloey ; and ilM!rc'> hsi!f-a-guincn ft»r you to
help yuur invention.

iihitrp. llair~it-^iiinen I Tis so long since I
had any thing to do with mnnry, that I iirarcvly
Liiow iJie nirrent coin of my own (Munlry. —
Oh, Sharp, uhnl tnlcnl:> hiut thou ! to sccur*- rhy
master, drerive his mistrcs*, nullic her rlwmbcr-
niai<l, ;md yet be paid for thy honesty ! Out my
'y»y will diM^uver me. [AsiJe.] JMndniu, you have
cteniallv Hxed Timothy .Slmrp, your moat oltcili-
ent humble Mrrvant — ■■— -Oh tUc delight* of im-
pudeuce, and a good uuderstaudiiig !

[£il'f SHftRI>.

Kitty. Ha, ha, ha ! was there ever such u ly-
ing varlet ! nith his sluiTS and hi^ bi'>nid swurtk,
his attoriu^Ys, and broken liend.*, and iiuu^'nM! !
Well, matiiun, are you satUftcd now i Do yon
vrant morr proofs.^

Mel. Of yuur modesty I do : But, I fitidyun
are ttTMilvfil ut i;ivc roe lurae.

Kttty. Mndoiu!

124

BRITISH BRAMA.

CQjinicK.

Mel. I see through jrour little mean artifice :
i^u are endeavouring to lessen Mr Gayless in
my opinion, because he has not paid jrou fur ser-
vices he bad uo uci-asion for.

Kitty. Pay me, madam ! I am sure 1 have
very little occasion to be angrr with Mr Gayless
for not paying me^ when 1 believe 'tis fab general
practice.

Mel. Tis ^se ! he's a geDtleman, and a man
of honour, and you are

Kttttf. Not in love, I thank Heaven !

[Cartsgrt'jig.

Mel. You are a fool.

Kitty. 1 have been in love; but I am much
wiser now.

Met Hold your tongue, impertinence I

Kitty, That is the severest thing she has said
yet. \Ande.

Met Leave mc.

Kitty. Oh this bre, this lore is the devil !

[£ri* KiTTT.

"Mel. We discover our weaknesscss to our ser^
vants, make them our confidants, put them upon an
equally with us, and so they become our advi-
sers. Sharp's beliaviour, though I seemed to dis-
regard It, makes me tremble with apprehensions !
and, though I have pretended tone angr^with
Kitty for her advice, I think it of too mucii con-
sequence to b« o^lMted.

Enter Kittt.
Kitty, Ifixj I speak, madam }

MeL Don't.bo a fuoL What do joa.wKA f

Kitty. There is a servant just ooBoe «ut of the
country, says be belonp to m WilUani jBa^less^
and has got a letter for you from bis master nji-
on very urgent business.

Me/. Sir WiUiam Gayleas? What cm thb
mean i Where Is the man i

Kitty. In the little parloar, madam.

Mei. ril go to him— My beait flutters straoge-

[Eiit.
■ Kitty. Oh, woman, woman ! fboHdi wonaa i—
she'll certainly have this Gayleas ; • naj, van ibe
as well convinced of bis poverty as I am, ibe
would have hio). A strong dote of love avvone
than one of ratafia ; when it once gets into our
heads, it trips up our heels, and thn gpod n^t
to discretion. Here is she going to duow away
fifteen thousand pounds ! upon what? Fwtfa, li^
tie better than nothing. He's a man, and tfaaA
all — and. Heaven know^ mere man is bat aaaU
consolation !

6c this advice pursued by eadi fond mai^
Ne'er slight the substance for an empty riaide :
Rich weighty spariis alone should please and

charm ye:
For should spouse cool, his gpld vrill alwa^

warm ye.

ACT IL

SCENE I.

Enter Gayless and Svarp.

Gay. pRiTBEB be serious, Sharp. Hast thou
really succeeded }

Sharp. To our wishes, sir. In alwrt, I have
managed the business with such skill and dexte-
rit];, tliat neither your circumstances nor my ve-
racity are suspected.

Gay, But now host thou excused me from the
ball and entertainment I

S^rp. Beyond expectation, sir — But in that
particular, I was obliged to have recourse to truth,
and declare the real situation of your affairs. 1
told her, we had so long disused ourselves to
dresnng either dinners or sappers, that I was
afraid wc should be but aukward in our prepara-
tions, sin Khort, sir, — at that instant, a cursed
gnawing seized my stomach, that I could not
help telling her, that both you and myself seldom
make a good meal, now-a^ays once in a quarter
of a year.

Gaj/. Hell and confusion! have you betrayed
me, villain? Did you not tell me this moment, she
did not in the least suspect my drcumstances?

Sharp. No more she did, sir, till I told ber.

Gay. Very well ; and was this your skill ssd
dexterity f

Sharp. I was going to tell you ; bnt you wos^
hear reason : my melancholy face awl pitHWS
narration, had such an effect upon ber genensi
boweU, that :ihe freely furgives all tfaatfs past

Gay, Dues she. Sharp ?

Sharp, Yes, and deures never to see voor Ace
again ; and, as a farther consideration m so d>
in^ she has sent you half-»^ineft.

[ShatDt the mmiy.

Gay. ^V hat do you mean?

Sharp. 1 o spend it, spend it, and rmle.

Gay. Villam ! you nave undone mel

Sharp. What ! by brining you moBey, wImb
you are not worth a farthug in the whole VoU
Welt, well, tlien, to moke you happy ^^feii^ T^
keep it myself; and wish somebody wouU tA»
it in their heul to load me with sucb miiftr'
tunes. [Put* mp the wmef-

Gay. Do you laugh at me, rascal r

Sharp. Who deserves more to be lau^iedsll
ha, ha, ha! Never for the future, sir, dispats
the success of my negotiations; when even yMi
who know me so well, can't help swaUowbf aj

QAKmiCK.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

1fi5

Enter Kittt.

hook, yfhjf or, I cDald have played fith ^
bnckwanl» and funvarrts at the end uf my lints,
till 1 had put your un^M into auch a t'enncnta-
bon, thit yuQ should not have Icnuwn, in an hour's
tmie, whrtbcr yon vm a ti«li or a man.

ifoy. Why, what is all tins yuu have been lel-
Uazritcf

SJtafp. A dvH-nright lie rrom begianing to
cod!

Gmy. And hove you really excused toe lo her?

Sbirp. No, sir; baC I bnvc pot lhi<> half-f{uiripn
to ankc bcr exciu(--<t to you ! and in«t«nd of n
oaufedtncy becween yon nnd mc Ut deceive ht.T,
•he ihioks sbe bos bruoght mc over to put the
deceit opoo yoa.

O^. Thou ciccllcni fellow !

Stmrp. Doo't lose rime, but slip not of the

»tne icnmediately; the back way, I believe, will
be the lafcti fur you, aud tii her as fiut ta you
cao ; pretend vast suqirise und cmiccrn, thnt hpr
inHjtpMirion ba» debarred you the plraaure of
ber CMnpuny here tcMiif^t. You nctid ktmtv ih>
EBore ; away.

Gmjf. But what shall we do, Sharp ^ Here's hcv
MMd i^atn.

■SAarp.l'be devil »hc is! 1 wish I could pui-

soa bor : for Fm sure, while she lives, 1 can ne-
ttt jKoipei.

^^^fittif. Ymir door was open ; so I dJd not stand
H^Hpn cerrmony.

' Oav- I am sorry to hear your mistress is taken

•a •oddenh-. —

Kiitf. V^atiourv, vapours only, air; a few mn-
triwomal omra<^ that 9 all ; but I suppose Mr
Sbarp has made her excuses.

Gny, Ami trtis me, I cmi't have the pleasure
of tier roHipany t'>-raghL I had ainde n wnall
lamrBbon ; but 'ris no mnttrr : Sharp stmll ku
lo OS ttM q( the company, nml let (Item know
tiaput oS

iutty. Not for the world, sir! mv mistre*!)
<raa •etMihIeyou mu&t have providi>d fur her nml
As TCK of ihc company; so die is resolved.
ibot^ she can't, tlie oUirr Uwlic* and e^tulemen
•ball partake of your eiitertuinmcdt; she\ rfry
fjOad-niMtumi.

Mmrp. I had better run, atid let tbom know
*di drfcrprd. \Going.

Kirty. [Sloppim/i Aim.] I have been with them
«b«ady« aiid told theui my mtstres:! iiisift» upon
^ml^ cuaantt aod thry haw ult proniis^d to be
}mn ; i*>, pray, don't Ik- undfr nny apprrhciK^ions
lha< T<jur preparatioas Milt Ik- thmvrii away.

Omy. Bill as I can't have her CumpHiiy, Mrs.
KtllT, *t«ill Iw II ereater pleasure to mc. and a
IpTsiier oimpliment to her, to defer uur micth;
boMrti, 1 eao'l riijny any thing at present, and

kdhe Bot partake of il
Mitiy^ CNi,oo! to be sure; but what can ]

do ? my mistress will have it so ; aod Mrs Cad-
aboat, and tb« rest of the cumpany, will bp here
in a few minutea; there are two or three (»ech-
fuls of tbcMij.

Sharp. Then my master ratist be rained, in
Hpid' uf my parts. [Aiiitle,

Omt- {Andc to Sharp.} 'Tis all over, Sharp !

Sharp. I know it, sir.

Oay. I Hhall ^ di»trai!ted ! what shall 1 do?

Shurp. Whv, ur, as our rooms ttre a little out
of furniture at present, take them into the cap-
tain's that lod)!C!t here, and set them down to
cards : if he should come in the moan limt--, I'll
excuse you to hun. [Aside.

Kitty, I have disconcerted their ntlairs I lind ;
I'll have some »port with them. Fray, MrOavless
don't order too many things: they only make you
a friendly visit; the more ceremony, you know,
tlje less welcome- Pmy, air, let mc entreat ytm
nut to be profuse. If 1 can be of seri'ice, pray
command me ; my mi'itress has sent roe 00 pur-
pose*, while iMr Sharp i;* dolnf; the bu&iness with-
out doors, 1 may be employed within. If vou'll
lend me the keys of your 6ide-board [To SAurp],
I'll dispose of youV plate tn the best adviuitacc

Shtrp. Thauk you, Mrs Kilty ; but it is dispo-
sed nf already. [Knock'mp at tkf door.

Kilty. Bless me, the coiiipouy's come ! Y\\ gw
to the door, and conduct tlicm into your presence.

[£ji(Kinv.

Sharp. If you'd conduct them into a horse-
pTtur), and wait on them ther« yourself, wc should
he more obliged to you.

Gay. I con never support this.

Sharp. Rouse your Huirits, und pnt on an air
of f^aiety, and 1 don't uespair of farmoni; you off
yet.

Gay. Your words have done it c0ectually.

£n<er Mas Gai>*aiout, MrGcttle, MbTdif-
PET, and Mm Taiprsr.

Qad. Ah, my dear Mr Gayless !

[Kiurs him.

Gay. My ilear widiiw ! [K'uwi Aer.

Gad. We are come to give you joy, Mr Guy-
less !

Shar^, You never was more mistaken in vour
lif«. [Jade.

Gad. I have brouicht soinr company here, 1
believe^ is not well knonn to von ; and I protent
I havr been all abimt the town to ^et the little I
have Mr Guttle, sir, Mr Gayless; — Mr Gay-
less jiisttce Guttle.

Shurp. Oh, d('«trnction ! oneof the quorum.

Gu{. Uriii! 'I'b'Jti;;!) 1 had not the honour of
any pcnimitl kimwlvdKe of ynu.yet, at the inMi-
iimioii itf Mrs IJiut»lM>ut, I hnie, withmit any
^ncvious Acquaintance with you. thptwcrt »sidi>all
ceremonv, tn Irl yuti knou-, tluit I jcjy to hear
ttie solemnization of your nuptials m, so near at--
Itaad.

IfllS

BRITISH DRAMA.

[GASRici

Gay. Sir, thoueb I cuwol anavrcr you with the
same elitcutirin. Jiuvrocrf iir, I lliuilk you with
the uiiiic Atitcciity.

Cad. 711 r and Mn Trtppct, sir; the pmpf^rcst
IndjT in the world Tor your purpose, for thc'l)
i)niu:c for four niiH iwr-my hnun together.

Trip. My dear Charles I am very uicrr with
vou, faith ; so nenr mamagc, and Dot Ivt roe
Know ! 'tff[t» bari>an)ua : jfHi (hnught, I suppose,
J should rally you u^onit; hut dear Mm l nppct
licre hn% Imiit nco eradicated all uiy aottiuutn-
inomal pntictp]c«.

Mrs Trifi. I cradjcaie ! lie, Ur Trippct ! dou't
be %o obacfnc.

K'ttv. Pmy. Udirs «rAlk into the next room ;
3ilr Slmrp cuii'l lay lu> iluth till you aro &et duwu
to cards.

Gad. OrK* ihinz I liad quite forgot, Mr Ort-
le!» : mv iiephrw, tvhoin you iKfvrr saw, nill fic
in town from I'ninco prescotly : so I left word to
Mfufl'him hcri' imini-ointr-ly to make one.

liitj/. Ymi do tne honour, miidam.

Sharp. Uo tlic ladies chtMMe cnnliv or the tap-
per first?

Cay. Sapper ! what docs the fellow mean f

Gut. Oh! tilt* supper hy ali mi'sn^; for I
have ruten nothini; to ^ij^nify siticc djuncr.

Sharp. Nor I, since last Monday was a fort-
nichu [Afitie.

Gay. Pray, ladies, walk into the next room :
Sharp, Ret tliiogs ready ibr supper, and call
tlic mufttc.

Sharp. Well wid, mn<.ier !

Ciul. Without ceremony, IndicB.

[Errvnt lajin.

A'lV/y. I'll 1:0 to tny mistress :u^d let her know
ercij thing it ready tor her appearance.

[Exit Kirrv.

Enter Guiiir. iin(ISti\Rp.

G«(.Pray,Mr\VlintVyour-pame, don't be loiip
i^ilh ftuppcr : But harlee, what can 1 do in tlie
mean time P Suppose you get me a pipe and some
food voinc ; III tnr to divert myself thnc way till
supper's ready.

Sharp. Ur buppoee, sir, you was to take ■ nop
till then; llicrrV a very easy coach in that ch»^eL

Gtit. The best tlunR in the nnrUi; I'D take
Tt>ur xdvice; but L4: bare run \\:ike me when tup-
|Krr I* rvndy. \Exil iJtni.E,

Sharp. Pmy hcn*-cn. you nmy not wake till
ilum — vVhat a fitic situnrion my matfer is in at
prtiseiiC ! I luiru ftrocniied bim my awitiaiKX ;
hnt hit aflairs turr in >n desperate a way, titai I
am afraid 'tis out of my skill to rernver him.
Well. ffMjU have tbrtuae. »ay8 nn old proverb,
and a very true one it is; for my mn>ter and J
arc two of the mo<!t unfortunate mortaU in the
ct cation.

Enter Gatl£».
C«)r. Well, Sharp, X hav* tet them down to

cardn ; niiU tiovr what hive you to pmpotc ?
Sharp. I have one scheme IcA, Mhtch, in all

f)rulMthiliiy, nmy ^ucix-cd. The. f>r<>ud citiren, (ner-
oadcd with his last meal, is taking a lutp in that
riovt, in order lo pfi him an appetite for youra.
Supuosei sir, we sluiuld make him trvat ut.

Gay, 1 don't undefMQd yuu.

Shtirp. ril pick his pocket, and provide us a
suppLT with ihi' booty.

Utty. Monstrous ! for without comiderioK the
vitlntiy of it, the dsngur of wakii^ hitn makes it
inipmclicabh- !

Sharp. It he awakes III sointher him, and l^
his death to illdiec!^tiol>— a very cmiuiioD death
uinont: thf! pi'iiices.

Gay. Pritheo be serious; wc have no ttme tu
lose; ran yuu invent nothing tu drive tbctu ou
of tite buiiw i

Sharp. I can fire it.

Gay. Sluune aod confuiifMi so perplex me 1
cannot give niyMilf a moment't thought.

Sharp. I liave it ; did not Mr% Gad-abooC «y
her iK'phew would be liere?

day. SJic did.

Sharp. Hay no more, but in to your oompany:
if I don't send ibeiu out of the Itmue fur tJic
nt;tht, I'll nt len')t frighten titeir :»lomechs aw^;
Olid if tlii<i »tnitu):cin fails, 111 relinfiuisit pohtia
and think my undcrvtaiidiug no better Una ny
nrighboiirV

Gay. How •.Imll I reward ihee, Sharp?

Shnrp. Dy Yuur Miencc and ubedtcucc : any
to your oMaponT, sir.' [JFJif GiVLt-a.]— Nim.
<jf-ur madam Fortune, fur onre (^>eu your eyn.
and hehuld a poor imfortiiiuite man of purti v^
dressing you : now i:» your time to cooiiuce yovr
foes you are nut that blind, wlumsica] wliorc,
thfv take you for ; but let them »ee, by your »
sisting nie, (lint ineu of ioti>c. tu well b§ foots
arc Mmipliines intitlcd to your fai*our nnd pratcfr

tion. So niut li for prayer: now far a bM

noi^c and n lie. [G«et a$idft and crict oaf.] \mf,
hrlp, tnnatcr ! help, gentlemen, ladies ! dlunler.
tire, Lrintstunc ^ Help, help, help !

Enter Ma G.vYi.rss and the ladie$ viik rur^ «

their handt, and SuAnv rnfrri, raaaiitj, wU

i/if ets them.

Gay. What's the matter?

Sharp. Matter, sir ! if you don't ron this wt-
nute with that gentleman, ttiis lady's nepltew aill
he niurdered .' I am ^ire it was lie; lie wa< Hi
upon nt the corner of the sut-vt by four ; he b»
killed two; and ifyou ilun't make haste, licli 1*
either murUerud, <»r took lo prison.

Gad. Kor Ilenvrn'a sake, (cnilrmea, ran V
his nK»t»lan(e! tlow I tremble for Mo|i«*--~
Tins fi-olic of lier's nwv bo fatal. [4^'

Gay. Draw, sir, auti fullovv me.

[ErKitut G.kTtc» «wiG»>-

Trip. Xnl \ ; I don't care to ron myN?lf !»*•
necdk'K <|uurrels; 1 liavc suiTcrvd lou uiucb f"'^

GARBtCK.l

BRITISH DRAMA.

127

I
I

I

zncrl; by fijin^ into pnssionS! bf-iides, I hnre
paoncd DA^ bonour lu JUn Trippet, never (o
linw HIT flNord ftgain ; nnd, in her prewot condi-
tion, to bremk tD7 word might have fatal consc-
queoca,

Aorip. rrav, sir, don't excuse yourtetl'; tlic
jtxrag pnilnnan mav be murdered by tliis time.

'[\yt. Tlicn ray awsUiDce will be of no service
In bim ; biiwever-'lll go to oblige you, and look
«ia al a ilistBore.

Mn Trip. I eholl cettaialy faint, Mr Trippet,
if you draw.

jEi/cr OiriLE, divrdercd, Atfr<»it i/ecyi,

fiut. What iiuiw and confusion is tliis?

Skaff^ Sat^ tberc's a man murdered io the
•tieci.

Out. l» tbnt nil ^ Zuuiuh } I wn^ afraid you
had tbrown ihc ftup^ier down — A plofiiic nf your

vtme [ ftttait't recover my uoiuach this lialf

bow.

£af«rGavLEsa un4tfGAD-A»ovT. ki/AMllisa*
M itPjrV clothe*, drtucd in tkt French manner.

Ottd. Well, but my dcnr Jemmy, you are not
bvrt. tare i

Jle/. A lillJe with riditta post oiilr.

Gad' Mr bliM-p alarmed us all vith an ac-
count of rtmr h^iiiu; siM upon hv four men ; iluit
yoa bad lulled Iwu. and nvs Dltacl^in^ (liu other
nhcn tic cnme avas ; oud wlkeii wc luct ^-ou ut
the door, wc were runainic to jrour rescue.

Jlfc^ I had a small rencounter with ttalf a-
doicii villfiiis; but, finding inc re«ulute, tticy
•crc wise euouch to take to their bccU: 1 be-
livTc I K-ratcbed some of them.

( Ijtying her hand to her tirorrf.

Skgrp, llii vanity tuu raved niy credit 1
liBTC M ihau|;bt come into my head may proie to
our advantage, provided Mnit&tcur's. ignorHiirc
bears anv pntp'irimn lo his inipudciH:^. [Aiidc.

iittd. \iiw my frit^lilS iivf.r, It^t iiie introduce
TOM, my dear, tu Air Gaj^less. Sir, this is my

Gaif. [SalutM^ Afr.] Sir, I shall be proud of
your fneodship.
Mf /. 1 doii t doubt tmt we ftbuU be better ac-

1<)tmittCcil ill a little unic.
Gyt. IVay, sir, what newi in France?
MeL Faith, sir, very little that I know of in
the pultliod wav : I had uo time to spend among
tltf politiciaiu- \ wai
Cffy- Atuvne Uie ladies, I suppose ?
iiei TiMi tuucli iiidet'il. ruitli, I linve not
|i«lDwphy en<Mj)|:h to resist iheir solicitaiiuni ;
jwi uke inc } ' [ro G * Y 1 1** audc.

Hiy. Yes, to lie n must incorrigible fop:
^^cuh, this puppv's iiuperiiocnrc ia on ndditian
bsvouMry. [Audeto'^nx%v.

Mi Pow Gsylcss ! to irhat »bift9 a he redu-

ced i 1 cannot bear In iiee liim much lunger in
tins condition ; t sball diacnver nivwlf.

\Audt to Cao-aboi^.

Cad. Not t>efore the end of the play : bcM-
de», tlir more his pain now, the greater hi« plea-
sure wlicii relieved fn»m it.

Trip. Shall Hc rcuini to our cards? I have n
lOfli prendre here, and qiu^t insisc you play it
ouL

Ijidiet. With all my heart !

MtL Altoni done— -\Ai the company gart out ^
Sharp puth AIklissi btf the tUtve.']

Sharp. Sir. sir ! Shall 1 bee leave to spcn
with you i Pray, did you find a bank-note in
your way hitlKr ?

Mel. What, between here and Dover, do you
mean f

SJturn. No, sir, witliin twenty or thirty ynrtli
of this tiousc.

Mel. You arc drunk, fellow !

Sharp. I am undone, sir, but not drunk, 111
Assure rou.

MeL What is all this?

Sharp. I'll tell yciti, Mr : A little while a,co, my
master sent me out to chaniie a note of twenty
pound<i; hut I, unfortunutely, lieuriu;; a noiw in
the street of, Oainn-mc, sir! nnd closhiii); nf
swon|4, and UaMrnl, nnd Murder! 1 runs up to
the place, and saw four men upon onei nnd
hnviim beard you was a ntetiie«nme young
gentleman, I immediately ronchided it mu»ii be
you ; Ml Rill back tu call my uiaMer; ami when
I went to look tor the note to clintisc it, I
fouud it gone, either Molc or lost ; and if 1 don't
$;ct the moitey immediately, I »liali certainly be
turned out of my place, and LoK my cbanu>
tcr— —

Mel. 1 simll 1au|;h in his face. [.f>ide.] — (ih,
I'll nprak to your miisler hIhiiU it, ami he will
foriiivo you, at my inicrcessiuu.

Shfirp. Ah, sir, you dtm't know my master.

Mel. I'm \crv little ncqimmtcd unit him ; but
1 h;iic heard he's a very pood-naturcd man.

Sharp. I luive lieard so loo ; but I liave l*ell it
oihcrw'iBV : iichiiSM) much co'Ml-nature, timt'it I
could C4>mpound f<ir one broken-head a day, 1
slionid think nivwlf very well oll^

Mel. Are you serious, friend?

Sharp. LwjL'e, sir, I take you fi>r a man of
honour; there is something in your tWe llmt is
pcoerous, open, and masculine ; you don't look
like a foppiidi cfieniinatc tcll-tnic ; Mt I'll venture

Io trust you Sec here, ftir, [SheuM hit hcad.^

lliesc arc the ejects of niv lUiutcr's g,ood-nnture.

Mel. Matchless iftipmleiice ! [Aside.] — Why
do you live with him, tlien, after such umgfif

Sharp, lie's worth a prcat deal of mooej- ;
nnd when he"^ drunk, which is commouly once
a-dnv, he's very free, and will gi\c nic any thing:
but \ design to' leave hiui when he's married, for
nil thnt.

JUr^ U he goiog to bo tnarried then f

I

198

BRITISH DRAMA.

[GARniesr

iSAor/i. To-TDorrnw, nr'i nod between voti luid
[ 1, he'll inert wjtii his match, both for humour and
OOWtJuiii: el*c lou.
ijifrA Wliai! i^he drinki, too ?

S^rp. Dainnablv, sir; but mum — You must
knuw t!iU ciiturtnitiTnent wH9de%i||;i(f?d formiuiiini
tu-tii^it; bul khe fpt 90 very piy after d:nncr,
that she oouM oot walk, out ul' her own house ;
«o her maid, who was half j;oDe too, came here
with nn cicase, tlmt Mis .VIi>li<u»a Itad yot the
vnpoun: ukI m site UtA iiiducd vidteiitiy, here,
lif rr, sir. [Pointing to hit ktad.

MeL This » scarcely to lie homn. [vJiw'de.] —
McIissa! 1 have bnanl of her; the; tay she'll
very whiint^iml,

Sharji. A very wnman, an't |ilea<(e yuur hon-
our : nnd, brt>A'«eii you and 1, none of the niilde»C
and wisest uf her sex — But to return, sir, to tJie
twenty pounds.

Met. J am frurpri&cd, youj wito have got so
raiicli inone)- in his service, should be at a loss
for tvrcitly pound, to save your biWK'a at tliu junc-
ture.

Sharp. I have put all ray money out at in-
tcrckt ; I never keep alravr me pounds by tne ;
ai^d if your honour would lend inc t)>e otlicr
fifceco, and Cake tny note for it—

[Knocking.

Mrl. Somebody 'a at the dnor.

Sharp. I con gi%c very goud srcuritr.

[Knocking.

Mai Dnn*c let the people wait. Ut.

Sharp. Ten pounds will da [Knocking.

Mel. AlUz Toit$ en.

Sharp. Five^iir. [Knocking-

Met. Jr tie puii pas.

Sharp. Jc ne puu pes .' — I find we ihnn't un-
derstajw one amnltcr; I dn but Iom: time; aiid il'
I Itad any thought, I might luivu kuown thtsc
young fop5 return from tlieir tnivclk jzencndly
with as little money oa uaprovenient.

[Esit SHinp.

Md. Ha, ha, bn ! what Iie» docs diis ftllon
iflVeoU Mid what rojcuerieii does he commit, for
his mutr/f lernce ! There never, sure, was n
tnore faithful servant to his master, or a grrater
rofEne in the re«t of mankind. Hut here hf atm(r&
again : the plot tliicketta; I'll in, and obvene Oav-

JmI. [£xjf McLtSA*.

Knter Bmap, brfore tera-ai periont, n-iYA diiJttt
in their hanils, and it C'wA drunk.

Sharp. Fortune^ I thank lliec I the mn>t lucLv
acndpii: ! [A»idt.}—l\m way, KeuUeDien; this
way,

Cnok. I am at'niid I have mistook the bouse.
Is this Mr I'l-earvi'cll's?

Sharp. IIk same, the aauic t VMiat, dnu'c you
know mc?

Cup*. Know ¥00 1 — Arc you sure there was a
' npper bespoke here ?

Sharp. TCI, upon my bonnur, Mr Cook ; the

companyjis in the ttext roans >^ "<"'( ^^^'^ spam
withnat, liad not you hroiieht it. I'll dmw a
table. 1 Mie you have broufbi a c!r:' - -'- >ii;
but you need oot Itate done that. 1 >- a

very good stock of Itnen — at the puw.^^.,..^. ..

[jiaiJe.
[Rxit, anJ rctum$ immaiiatefyt itiwm
iitit in a tobift
Come, comcf roj boys, be euick ; the eoopan^
bc^i to be very uneasy; nut I knew myoM
friend iick-«pit here would not fiiil oa.

Cook. IJck-5pit ! I am 00 iVirnd of toim'i; m
I desire less famdiBrity : Ijck-spit, too !

Enter GxYLts% and $tar<t.

Cm/. Wlmtisallihis?

Sharp, iair. il the sa^ht of the sapper n
sivc, I can ensily Iwvc it rcmnvcd.

[Attde to Gatloi.

Gn^. Prithee, explain thyself. Sharp.

Shiirp. Somr of our ncighlKturi;, I
liavc br«pi>kc this Hi).<i<er; but the cook has
nway Ids memory, lorcot the house, and brouf!)it
it here : however, sir, if you dislike it. I'll Irll hnn
uf bis mi^Like. nnd Mitd him about his busioeak

G'li/. Hold, hold ! net e^^ity obliges nie, apiinft
my inctiiiation, to favour tlic cheat, nod feast at
my neiphtiour's cjipcncc.

Cot)k. Ihirk vou. friend, is tlint your niuslerf

Sharp. .\y: and the best titastcr in the world.

Cook, I'll speak tti him then— air, I have, af
cordiitw to your commands, dressed as genteel i
supper as my art and y<.mr price ivtiuld ntlmit of.

&hnrp. Good again, sir ; 'tis pctid fur.

[A^iiU toGAXLgm,

Gat/. I don't in the least questioii yvur ab^
litieSfMr Cook ; and I'm obtigttd to you for year
<*arc.

Cook. Sir, yoo are a geulleman — And if vm
would look hut over the bill, and approve it,
[Pulk out a biU.] you will, over and above, rv-
Cum the obltcntiun.

Sharp. Oh, the devil !

Ofiy. [ LooktHg on a bilL] \'ery well, 1*11 «r«l
ray man to pay you to-morrow.

Cook. I'll spare him the tniuMp, and lakl|jj

with me, sir 1 never work hut for readjr

iiev.

Gay. Ha!

Sharp. Then you wnii^t have our custopw —

[Atide.] MymaMer :• bosy now, (liandt Do

yul) think he wuo'i pay youf

Cook. No matter what Z think ; rithrr af
nicut, or iny ntuney.

Sharp. Twill be vtry ill-con«eni*at for lu» *■
pay rou lo-nii;ht.

Cwk. Ilieii I'm afraid it will be iH-connr^
to pay mc tt>-morrow; so, d'ye hear

Enter MrttsSA,
Oay. Prithee be ndvised ■ 'vtealh, I Allf'
dL<Kovered • [Takn tht C«A mdf'

Garbicr.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

!«<>

i

I

MtL [To SniRp.] \Vhftt'« tli* mntttr?

SiMTp. Ihe cook hut not qiiitf nmvsere^ my
nantert rxpcctiilionH iilvxit tlic »npppr, tir, aiHf
ht^* A lirtt« nngry nt liiui ; LHut'» hII.

Jklei. Come, Cfimc, Mr Onylcu, don't br iin-
ratr; n butchrlor runnnt he siippoM-H to hnve
tfluig» ia the utmost rtfruUritj ; we Hnu'c ex{<ect
iU

Cook. Dnt I do expect it, mid will Imvc it.

ife/. Whni does tfiat tlniiikcn fuul ^ny ?

Cook. Ttmt I »itl luv<^ my nvmcy, mid I uon't
BtBT titl ti>-morr<jw — nriil — niKJ

SMarp. [Runt itnii ttoftt Ait moulfi.] Hold, hold!
wliat tav \oo dmnif ? Arc you innil i

Mel What do vou nop the mnn'v brcatli for?

itikarp. Sir, lie wn'^ ^■'■iit; uy ciil) Tou n:ifnc«. —
Doot DC abukivr, l.'*tuk ; tlie ficnrkiitiui i& a iiiuii
of bofiour, and vuA nothing to you : jiriiy be pn-
cMcd ; yiMi arr in lif|uor.

Cook. I will Imye my- ■•

jii^/7. [lloldina: sti'l/.] Why, I tetl you. Tool.
yoa auMiiCe the ccntlcinnn; he's a fric-nd of mr
nSMtt r\ and hoa tint said n wnrd to you. Pray,
good ur, V.O iiilu iIh- next ru<>ni; the fellonS
dnink. and tates you for Riiofht-r. — You'll repent
this when you are sobiir, fneiiil. — Pray, sir, ouiA
stay CO hear bif iotpertincnce.

Gau. Pray, sir. vMilk in — He's below your an-

V-
Atri, Dmnn 1)10 rasml ! \^ hat does he mean

by affronting mc ? Let the scoundrel gf» ; lit

eih hi* bnitnlity, [ wairunt yiHi. Ilen-'^ Ihf
1 rrfonTicrarnninurnt in the innvcr«c> [Orairi

ik f««^l i'^ liiin »*>• t Kiy ■

Skmrp. Soy »o, you liave done finely now — Get
fmj u fast as ynu ran : lie's ttio fnott ctnini-

Ouvs menlcaoine innu. in nil England Wliy,

if hit puMon wu up, he could eat you— Malcc
pu rtcBpe, yon fool.

Caik. I won^ — ent nie ! belt liud me damned
tinl«»f iliti'sTino, thnnsh

M«y. Prithee, come liere; let me ipeak with
JWL [Theif nolle mide.

Enltr Kitty.

£"v. Cnd'« ine ! is supper on tiic table nlrcn-
^* >if, pray defer it for a feu moments ; tn*
1 1» touch better, and will be here iinim^

Se, indeed r Blew ine ! — I did not
. jwevtT — Sharp !
A:f '^, Wluil nicceu, madam ?

[Anuie to 7kIrLi«ji.

«f^ Al we coald wiili, C'n ; but he !•> in wich

Pj'wd perpleiJty, I coii't hi>ld it out inncli

'u^jr- Ay ; diot holding out is tbc rum of half

^^f- I have pacified the cook ; and if you
** •* burrow twenty piecei of that yoiini; pric,
■^ "^J pa <rcU yet ; yoa may nicccc<l, tliough I

conlH not. Remetnber what I told yoa — aboaE

it >triiit>lit, pir *i

Gttif. Sir, wr — [To Melissa.] — I beg to speiUc j
a word with you ; my servanr, sir, tells rae he hafj
had the inisfortane, sir, to love a note of mine or
iweiitv pounds, wlndi 1 sent him to receive — an^i
the bankers' ihft\n beine ^hut up, mid ha%in)[ rol
17 little cash hy me, I should be much obliged id\
ynu if you would fuvour nic with twenty piccet]
till tu-inorrow. * <

MeK Oh, sir, witH oil my heart— [ToAm^ aut 1
hcT ^lurif.] — and ai I have n smull favour 10 beg
of yu, sir, the obtieaiinn will be mutual.
Git't. How may I oblige vou, sir?
M*-/. You are to be married, I hear, to Mc^ I
lissn i

Oat/. To-morrow, sir.

jW«. llten youll oblige me, sir, by never see-
in); her H*ain.

Gay. Uo you cnll this a amatt favour, sirP
Mtl. A mere trifle, sir; brcakiitc of contracts,
wiinc for dirorccH, coinraiHiiin nduliery, and sucb
like, lire all reckoned trifles no\v-t»-days : and
!>m«rt youn^ fellows, like you ami luyscif, Gay-
lews -Jiould be never init of fashion.

6'mv- But, pray, sir, bow are you conrerJied m
tliisaniiir?

\i(L Ob, ^r, vou must know I have a very
great rei^ard for ^felis5a, and iitdeed t^he for me :
iind, by the by, I hare a most drspicabk opinion
rifyou; for, entrenout, I lake you, Chiir^c», to
be a very icreat scouadret.
Gaf. Sir !

Mil. Nay, dou'llook fierce, sir, and ^ve your-
self airs — Oamnte, sir, I aliiill be tlmjughyouf
IxmIv. elw, in the snappiiiK of :i fincer !
Guy. I'll be as quick as you, villain !

I Ortfof, and makcK at Mrii^A.
Kit. Hold, hofd ! murder! Ytiti'tl kill my mis-
iTcas — the yuime cenileuinn, I mean.
Oiiy. Ah, lier mittress !

[Drops his MteortI,
Sharp. How! Melissa! Nay, then, drive away
cart — all's over now.

Enter tUl the company^ langhing.

•Cad. Wliat, Mr Gnyless. engaging with Me-
lissa l»cfore your time? Ila, ha, ha !

Kitty. Your liinnhlc M-rvniti, c<mk) Mr Politi-
nmi — [To StiAnp.] — VhJs is, qtiiticuu-ii and la-
die^, flic niimr celehnntvd and inttcntous Timothy
Sltotp. Roliemtr-eeiiend. and redouhted Mjuire to
the most renowneil mid fortunnic ndvcnturtr,
(.'haHes r.aylrss knitriK ot" tbc woeful ounnc-
nniire 1 lui. ha, tm ! Oh, iltat dismal face, and
more divnal bend of yniirs !

[Stritift SiiABP upon fhr hrod.

Sharp. Tis cruel lu you In disturti a man in
ius Inst neonies.

MfL Nuw, Mr fJayleM ! What, not a word?
Yoa are scasibic I c»n lie uu sttunger to yuor

180

BRITISH BRAMA.

[Gabricx.

inisfortanes ; mnd I miglit reaionabl^ expect on
eiinise for yi>ur ill iri'aiincnc nf inc.

Gay. No, miulam, silence is my only refujEC ;
for to endeavonr to vindirate niv crimes, woulii
fthiiw n grraucr vnuit of virtue tlurn even the coni-
niu>»itiii *>r tlicm.

Md. Oh, OajlesA ! 'twas ponr to impose upon
a wiimaii, niid <>nc th»t lovnl viu, too I

Gajf. ,OU, most iinpnriltiiiable ! but mjr Dccc^

sitics

SAarp. And mine, madam, were not to be
mUehed, I'm sure. »* this ^irlc starvinij.

Met. \iif> tears Imvc suftciird me at onoe —

Ymir necessities. Mr Gayleu, with such real con-
trition, nre ton powerful iiuiliveK not tii ntlVct llie
brea>tl alrrady prejudiced in your favour. You
bave kuffercd too much already for yourextrnvn-
gatu'c; and as I taike part in your suflcriTigs, 'tis
iCnMH); mvself to relieve you : Know, tlK'refure,
I nil lliHl'^ pabt I freely foniivc.

Gay. You cannot mean it, sure } I am lost in
Vf >ndvr !

Mel. Prepare vourvlf for mnro w/^nder — Yoii
have another frtciid in muaqucmdc liurc. Mr
Ci>oL, pray throw a^de your drunkenness, and
inake yuur &oUer appearance. Don't you know
llint face, Mr ^

Ccok. Ay^mutor! wtmt, have you forgot your
frif-nd Dick, a^ you used to call iii« t

Oaif. More wonder indeed ! Uon't jou live
with my father i

Mel. JuM afimr your Hopeful Kerrant, t1ier<-,
li.nd Itft mp, cnmps this innn from sir Willinm
with tt letter to me; upim winch (beini; by thnt
vrholty convinced of your iiccessil'ms Cfinditiouj
I invctited, by the help of Kitiy and Mr* Ood-
attout, thi> little plot, in wlucli vour fneti<l Di(-k,
there, has acted uiinich-*, resofvine to tctue you
a little, tlial yuu might have n greater relish forn
happy turn in your atfHin. Now, sir, read that
letter, Biid cnnipleic your joy.

Gay. I Hfadt.] — ' Madam, I :un father to tlic
' unfiirtuiinie youiipniaii, wh<i, 1 heitr, hy a friend

* of mine Cthat hv my de«ire baa been a contiuu-

* al spy u|i<)n him), i« nuikini( hi^ ad<1rc4KS to
'y^u: if he is to happy ai to uiakv hiniwlf
' agreeable lo you (whose character I am drnriu-
' cd with), I shall own him with joy for uiy sun,

* and fori^l his funner tollies.
* I nm, inaditui,

* Y^our most humble servant,

* Wli.LtAM ilATLF.**.'

' p. S. I will be soon !n town myself, lo cuu-
' grotulute his late refortuaiion and inamugc'

QUf MclixB, ibis is tuu much ! Tims let mcabow

my tlianks and f;nititude — [Xnce/i'ng, iW raisn
/iintA — for l»eri; 'tis only due.

Sharp. A reprieve ! A reprieve ! A reprieve !
Kitlt/. I bnvr been, nir, a mu^l bitter enemy
to ^ou ; hut, since yuu are bkely to be a little
more cunvcr^ant ivith cmsIi lluio you liave bt^eii, 1
am now, with the greatest sinoeniy, your must
obedient friend, and humhlt- <t«naiiL And I
h'lpt', sir, all forinor cntuity will be forgotten.

Gay. Oil, Mrs Pry, I have been too much lo-
dulf^ed with fori^ivenuess myself, not to forpvc k»-
bcr offences iii other people.

Sharp. Well, tliLii, iiiadom, liuce toy master
has vouchsafed pardtHi to your handmaid Kilty,
I hope you'll not deny it lo h in fuotnuiu Tiiut>*
thy?

Mel. Pardon I forwiiat?
Sharp. Only for tcUiitft you about ten thouwiid
lii'S, niudnm ; and, amun^ the r«»t. iiwcaatUf

(hal V""r ladyihip would

Mel. I understand you ; and can for^vai
thing, Sharp, that was dcsitrned for the scrvii
your master : and if Pry aiid you wtl) follow our
example, I'll (;ite her a small fortune as a K-
ivard fur both your fidelities,

Siiarp. I fancy, inadnin, 'twould be faetler to
halve llie •tniall lurtuue between un and keep ■»
bull) single; for as «e shall lite in ll>e sanm
Kuuae, in all proluihility «vc may taste the coas-
fort^ of malriinii[)>, and not be troubled with ICS
inconveniences — What wy you, Kitty?

A'lt/v. Do you hear, .Sluirp? before ^o talk
of the ajmloris of matnmony, ta^te the cnmfniti
(if a punt dinner, and recover your Acsh a blllc;
do. puppy.

Skat p. The devil backs her, that's certaia!
Hiid I am no match for her at any weapon.

AlrL And now, Mr GaylcM, tu ^how I lltft
not provided for you hy halt-es, lei the mtoic
prepare tltciu^Klvcs, and, with the approbatioi of
the roiii)ianv. we'll have a dimcc.
Jit Bv nil means a dnnce !

Gut. by all meaait a dance nder npfo,

th'iuL;!!.

SAafp. Oh, pra)|, sir, ha»e supper 6rst; mHo
sure I shan't live till tl>e dance t« 6nuiho(i

Gay. Ik'hold, Melissa, a» sincere a etmrcrta*
ever truth and beauty made. Tlte wild ii
tuous sullies of my youth are now binwnd
and a ni(Mt pleasing culm of perfect ha|~"
autx'ccda.

Ihus £tna's Aames tbe verdant earth tn^

sume,
Out milder Iwut makesdroopinc nature blsM*
So vtriuou" love aiKirds us snrineini joy.
) Wliibl vicious passioDij a» tiiey burn, doCror-

[ficaal flWt*

Enter Captais Lovhit and PiTf.

^C*ft Tnin is the plnce we were directed tn;

ttlm^^t I'ulE il' I t-'nii uut no iiilelligentx- of her,

^B *il] Itrcrtnr of nie ?

Buf. And nw »«o, sir? — Yini miiirt cooiidcr I
■■•ntnmrd nmii, arid can't Im-ot fari^ut oa J
^ dune, lliit, pruy, sir, »hv did ynu leave the
Ifvir i>i wlirufitlv, Aitd not gtve mc time to fill
'^uiapvirk with omiitmn iMTcssanes ? Half r
"ics thirt*, aiid ;our regimontaU, arc my whulc

C«fl, I wa« wild lo Brt nwinr ; and as wjon ■■
**iKatiied tnv I«hvp of aliwncp, I ch<fiif;ht every
•*WQt an aep tdl I returned to the place wlierp'l
ff^ Mw thn jrming, charming, innocent, bewitch-

■fCTKitorf.

Ai/ VVi(h fifto«o thuusaiid pouniU for her
•'''TBne — MTime nuMivc:*, I must ciinfeu. — Ami
'**. *'r, itf y«« ncp jf!eiiM>(J to •«▼ Ton muist de-
I**) ipftii mi rrtrr nnd al]ililic» m th» iiffair. I

'■■nl I haT« a jtiat ri^bt to be ac4]iuuutcd niiii

the partirntan of ypar pa»ian, tliat I maj be ll>0
better enabled la ttervc you.

C«/pr You 4haU hare them. — When I left the
univrmitv, which 'i» now leren mnntJis iince, my
fntlier, «lu] Itivea liu mnnev better than his wn,
and would not iwttle u farthinit upon me —

I'u^. Mine did so by me» sir

Capt. PurduAed mc a pair of «>lour» at my
own request; but before 1 Joined the ^e};imen^
which was puiite abroad, I toolt a ramble into
the cnuntrr with a fcllow-ctdlcEinn, to see a re-
lation of his nlio !i\cd in iJcrkshire

Puff^. A parly of pleasure, I suppose?

Capt. During a short stay there, I came ac-
quainted with thit rount: creature: ihe wn» just
come from tJit hoardintf-nchool ; and though she
had all the simpli-ctty of her age, and tin.' couii-
irr, yet il wn« niiied with such sensible riraciiy,
thai I t.iok fire nt ooce.^

Pti^'. 1 was tmder mvself nt your u^e. Rnr
pray, sir, did yoa tnLe fire before yoo kf»ew of
iiiT fortune?

Caftt. Before, opon my boiionr !

ise

BRITISH DUAMA.

[Gahrick.

Puff. Folly and constitutioa^But on, sir.

Copt. I win intHMitJccd to the t'aniiiy by thr

, oume of [lodopliil (fur hi my cuoifHiiiion niiH 1

fibid settled it): at the end of tliree wm-Wa I M'a»

'obliged to attend tlic call of iiUDour id riaiKltrra ^

but

Pu^. Your parting to be nin^ was heart-
breaking ?

Capt. I feel it at ttiU in«tant We vowed

Ictenutl con^taney, and I promised ti> take the

■ first oppitrtuiiity of rt'tuniiii^ to her. 1 did «o;

but wc founil the hou»c was shut up; and nl)

the infurntAlioti, you know, that we could ^et

• from tlie iii-^hbouriiig cottage wa^ thai mis* and

I hrr aunt »"rcrc retumtfl to town, and lived some-

wln-rc near tlits port of it,

Pufi". /\nd now we nre eot to lite place of ao
tion, proprtse \our pluii of operation.

Capt. My father lives m ihc uetl street, s» T
must drnim|i inimc-iliatrly, fitr iVxr of dlv^ovrric* :
you are not known to be my servnnt; eo, make
whnt inquiries you ran in thr ar)i;hh<uirhnnd, and
I shall wait at live inn for your iut(^lti|;enre.

Puff. I'll pntrol hereabouts^ and examine all
thit pass ; but I'tc foraot the word, nr — Miss
Kiddv—

Copt. Bellair

Pkf. A young lady of wit, beauty, and fifteen
thouwiid pounds ibnuite — Bur. sir—

Capt. What do von «iy. I'uff?

Palf. If youi lii<iK)iir pIcaM-s to cnusidcr, that t
had a vrilc in town whom I left sfjuicwlmt ab-
ru)>tlv liiUf-a-nar a^o, you'll think it, I beliere,
but HeL-ent to make sttnte inijuiry after her lint -,
to be sure, it would be Mioic siiialj cuiiMilntion
to me to know whether the poor woman is living,
or has made awnv with herself, or

Ctpl. Prithee don'f distriirt me ; a iiioment'n
delay is of the utmost conwqucncc; I must in-
sist upon ao imtnediate compliance with niv
coiomandv [Exit Captaik.

Pv^. The devil's iu these firry young fcUowji !
they think of nohodv's wniitji but their own. lie
doe* not rooMiler that I am Aeflh and blood as
, well at hirnitell*. liowcver, 1 mar kill two birds
at once : for I shan't be surprised if I meet my
lady walkinc the sm-rts — But, who have wt here?
Sure I sJinuld know that face.

Enter 3 ASFT.R Jromn home.

Who's that? mv old ncquaintnnce Jasper !

Jtu. What, Poff! are vou here?

Puff, .My dear friend ! ( hiuing hrm.} Well,
and now, Ja.«pcr. still easy and Imnpy ? TciujonrM
U memr. ! Wimt inlhfi^ucs now ' wliut jiiiU hu» t-
you ruined, and wluit cuckolds made, since you
and I u>rd to beat up tonetlier, eli f

Jot. Kairh, bunnest has been very brisk dtir-
ing itie war; men arc scnrt-e, you kmm : n'>t ihnt
J can say 1 ever w»nte<! HiiHiMrmtuL ia tlie nur^l
tif tines — Bnt bark yc, full -

Puff". Not a word aloud ; 1 am ittcncnito.

Jut. Why, fajth, I :Uioul(l not havr known tOu,
if you had not spoke fir&t ; rou seem to be a btUe
disliuhille too, ai well m mco^mto- Wbom do
you Itonour with jour service now ? Arc you from
the wars ?

Puf. Piptitft hot, I Rsure you; dn and smnke
will tarnish : a man that will ^o into such vrvic*
as I hu«e been in, will tind hi4 clothes tlie worse
for the wear, take iny word for it. But how is it
with yuu, friend Jasper f What, you still serve,
I see? you live nt that tiouse, I suppose?

Jot. I don't abM>luttty live, but I am OMMt of
my tunc there- 1 have, within these two months,
entered into ttic service of an old gentleman, who
hired a reputable servant, and dressed hiiD as
vuu see, because he ha.t taken it into his head to
full in love.

Pul)'. False apprlilc, and second chlldbixid !
lluL, prithe<-, what's ttir object of hin pasMon ?

JoM. No less than a virgin of sateen, I cao a»>
sure you.

Pu'lf. (Hi the lootbleM olil dotard !

Ju<. And he luuinbles ami plavs with her till
his month waters ; then he chuckles till he cries
and calltt her hi^ Bid and his Btdsjr ; and it it
foolishly fond

Pii^ Bidsy ! wliat's Uiat ? —

Jut. Iler name i» Biddv.

Puf Kiddy! WbutiMiie Eiiddy BcUairf

Jtts. Hie siiuie—

Puff. I htLve no luck, to be sure. [Au^y~
Oh, I b»vc hcurtl of her; ahe's of a pretty gooi
family, and has some forlimi% I know. But ue
things settled? Is the marriage fixed?

Jot. \ot absolutely; tbef^rl, I believe, detnti
him : but her aunt, a very good, prudent, old lad/,
has ^tvcn her consent, if he can i^in ber tiicce's>
hou it will end, I cmi't tcU — but I'm hot upon*!
loyMjlf.

Puff The devil ! not nuuriaj^e, 1 hope i

Jaa. Tlint is not yet deternnited.

Pa//I Who is the lady, pray?

Jat. A maid in the san>e family ; a woman
honour, I assure you. She ha& odc husbatKl «1-
ready, a scoundrel sort of a felluw. that basnin
nMrny from her, and listed for a soldier; ms tu-
ward> the end of thccnnipaiea, slic hopes to hurt
u ccriilitmte he's knocked o* the head : if DOl. I
wppo^', we •^wll settle matters anotbtT «ay.

Puff. Well, speed the plou^i ! — But bark w'
consummate without the ccrtihcatc if you can-
keep vour neck uut of the collar — <lo — I ha^*
wore It these two yeari, and dampably piled
L iim.

Jttf. [11 tako your advice; but I must rua
awuy to my master, who will Ik- miputtcnt fnr aa
auswer to his uiessate, which I have Just (Wi-
vered to the yuun;: lady : so, dear Mr Pufi^ 1 tia
your most olH-dicni humble tienrunt.

Puff. And I nni»t tu cair kiieuis for mv ar-
rears: if you Uukc an hour to spare, you'll Vnr

«

fftBVlCV.

BRlTtSH DRAMA.

n

of me ftt Gtotff^*, or the Titl-ynrd— Jm rtvair,
u wfr WT ftbraiMt [£ti/ jA4i>t:K.] Tliu.s we arc-
M «-u t) and as Tabe as uur Gotten : Jasper tmd I
were aiwan ihc brsu monde cxaclly ; we e**er
laOcd OHc aoutbrr IwartiK, yrt ulwny^ kitd Ritd
■bake fawid»— But nun to my master, with a
headfuJ iifnewsy ami a bcariful of joy !

[Going, starts.

' Aa^ls nnd iniaisten of grace dcfcnil in« !'
It can't be ! Br lleavetift, it is, that (mtM porcu-
yiae, my nife f i can't scaud it ; fthat&ball I dof
— rU try w avoid ber.

Enter Tao,

Jiie- It must be he ! Ill swear to the ro{;uc at
A ■iilc'<» di«unce : be either has nut Mreti me, r>r
ihm'i fctKM* ue. If I call keep my temper, I'll
try fain farther.

Pa^ I sweat! — I tremble ! — 8)ie comes upon
tat*

T«fi. Pniy, fnoA mr, if I may be so hold —

Pu/f. I Uave uutJiing fur you, good woman;
ion't trouble ine.

Tmg. If vour honour pleases to look tliii way —

Pifff'- The kiii^dofu is overrun willi bc^'ora.
I loppfttr the laU. I )|;avc t<» h^h M-nt this : but I
U«« ao more loose silver about mc : mi, pritlHi-t
•aoMO, dou't disturb me.

Tmg. I can hold iiu longer. Oli» vou villain,
no ! «bef<e Iwre you bccii, scotuidrtl f Do you
an* me oow, varlet? [.Sciiej Aim.

Fuff. Uere, wuch, waldi ! Zounds, I ahull
han my pockets picked !

j^y. liwn me tfaii minute, hang-dog, and con-
tm» mnrw lliioi:, vr, by tite mec of an injured
■Bmaa, 1*11 raise the ncigbbuurluoJ, tlirottle yuu,
lad vnd yoB lo Newgate !

Pmffi Anmxement ! what, my own dear Ta^t !
Cofiir to mv uruHt aud let me prcM you to my
brart, ihat pants for thee, and only tbee, my true
Md Uwful wife I — Now my stars hare ovef|nud
br for tlir fatipie aod daii$;ers of the liuld. I
^e waodered about, like Achilles, in search of
fiutltful pRiclope; and the gods have brought
Be Cii t>M% happy spot. [Em&raca her.

Tug. Pte fellow's cnu;kt for certnin ! Leave
Mr bombauic stuff, and lell me, mscal, why vuu
Ut aw, and where you huve been tltebe'six
MMtUtiehf

Pti(f Wt'lt rcwrvc my adventures for our
k^py winter evc(ung» — I »hnJl only tell you now,
(bol my heart beat %ty stronx in my couulry's
tauae, and bcine instigated either by honour or
Ike de»il 'I can't lell which), I set out for Flun-
dmt lu gather laurels, and lay lliem at tliy fccL

Ti^. You left lue to stone, vilhun, and beg
wr bread, rou did **>.

Puff. I left you too hastily, I must confer;
isd ulieii tias toy conscience «tunj[ mc for it —
Ian pjt into an odicer'fc service. Imve beoii in
<ncal odxiafr l^uied some credit by uiy beli:i-

%*ioiir, and am now returned with my mailer to
iiidul^i: (he )!cntter pa*ihioiit.

Tag. Don't diiuk to fub me off with this iido-
sensicul talk. What have you brfjufjlit me bouiQ
besides^
Puj'l'. lIoDour, and immodcrnic love.
Teg. I could te»r your eyes out !
Pu(^'. Tenfcp<'rnnre, «r I walk otF,
Tag. Teuiporance, traitor! temperance! Wliati
can you say for yourself? Leave me to the wide
world !

PvO". Well, I have been \a the world too,
han't I? What would tlic woman have?

Tag. Reduce lue to the necessity of gninf; to
service I [i'rtrt,

Pu(f'. Wby, I'm in service too, your lord Nud
master, aii't I, you saucy jade, you ? — Come,
wlicre dost live? here alxiut? tiast ttut t;o(id vatls?
Dost go to mtirket i Come, give me a kis^ dar« J
ling, and tell mc where 1 shall pay my duty to^
thee.

Tom. Why, tliere I live, at that house.

[Poinrin(! to tftc haute Jvsper cane OUt «f»
PuJ). Whut! there! that house?
Tug. Vcm, there ; that huuiic.
Pu(t'. Uuzza ! We're made for ever, you slitC
you; huzaa ! Every thing conspires this <lny to ■
make mc hBj)py ! Prepare fur an inundalion of I
joy ! My masrer is in love with your Miss Btddf |
over head and ears, and !>l)e with him. 1 know i
^ic is cimrttNl by Mim? nld fiiinhicr, und her aunt
is not against the match ; but now wc are come,
iJir town will be relieved, and the covrrnor
brought over: in plain Knglish, uur fortune it
mode ; my master must marrv the lady, and the
old Kcnilcuinn may c ^^ ^^ic devil.
T^ifi. Ucyduy I wimt's all thi»f
Put)'. Siiy no wore; tlic dice are thrown
doublets f(tr us: auav to y^iur vouiit: mi<itrcsa,
while I run to my mnitlcr. Tell her 1{.h<idi;i)hil,
Rliodu|)bil will !« witli her itnmediately; ihfiii,
if her blood d-res not mount to her face, tike
quicksilver m a wcnther-^lnss, and point ui ex-
treme hoi, Itelievc the whole a lie, aiid your hu^
band no politician,

Tufi. 'iWn ill news indeed ! I have had the
plnce but a little while, and have not quite i(uC
mto the secret* of the faoiilv: but part af your
story is tnie; nru) if you brinq vour master, nnd
miss is willing, I warrunt well be too bard for
the old f.'Iks.

Put): I'll about it straicht Bui hold. Tig;

I haj foniiot — Pray how docs Mr Jasper do ?
Tag. Mr Jasper ! — What do you mean? I—

PuQ'. What! out of countenance, cliild ?—
O fie r ?pcnk plain, my dear- — -Vnd the i*r- i
ttlicuEe ; wlicn cunies thut, i^li, love ?

Ta^. I le has sold hiuiMilf, and turned conjnrer^
or he could never hnvc known it. [Atidr.

Pitf)' Are not you n judo ? — arc tut yoa a Jc»
icbel ? — iiru'i you a ■ ■—

1S4

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gabkicc.

Tag- O ho ! temperance, or I walk offi

Pu(f. I know I uiD not finished yet, and » I
tja easy; but mure tliunks to my fortune than
your virtue, mactfim.

Bid. [Witftin] Ttm. Tiig ! where arc von, Tag?

Tag- Coining, miuiam ! My lady calls —

avny In your maitcr, and I'll prepare his recc[^
tion wilhiii.

Pu^'- Shall I bring the certificate with mef

[Erit PtJPF.

Tag, Go, yau graceless rogue ! yuu richly de-
flcnrc it [Exit.

SCENE U.—Changet to a (Mmbtr.
Enter Biddy.

Bid IIow unfortumite a poor girl ani I ! d&rc
oot tell my etrrpi to any body; and, if I duii't.
Tin Undone — llrigh ho! [Si^A*.] Pray, Thjb;, is
IDT aunt gone lo her latryer nbout tne* — Ilctgli
fao!

Tug. Whaf« tliat ligh for, my dear youn^
misiress ?

Bid. I did Dot ftigh, not I [Sighs.

Ti^. Nay, never pilp them down ; they nre
the worst thinp vOn can swallow. There** Bntnc-
ihing in that littfc heart of yours, that swells it,
and pu0s it, and will bunt it at lost, if you don't
give K vent. ,

Bid. What would you have me tcU yon ?

[Sight.

Tag. Come, cnme ; yoo are afraid Fll netrny
50U : Dut Tou had n< griod ipritb ; 1 may do you
some service you tittle ihmV of.

Bid. U is not in your poner. Tag, to give me
what I wanl. [Sighs

Tag. Not directly, perhaps; hut I may n« the

means of hrlfiing y"U to it. As, for example —

if you should not like to marnr the old man your

, aunt dciiL^is for jou, one may find a way to

break

Rid. His no* rk, Tog ?

Tffl/r. Or the match; either will do, child.

Bid. I doii't rare which, indeed, so I was

t deur of him 1 don't tliink I am fit lo be

snarried.

T\ig, To him you mean ! Yon have no objec-
tion in mnrriae^v but the man; and I applaud
vnu for it. But couie, courage, mi&s; aeverkeep
it in : nut with it all.

BitL If you'll ask me any questions HI a'»-
' fwer tbem ; hni I r-nn't tell you any thing of mr-
Klf; I simll blush if [do.

Tag. Well, then ; in the first olace, pray tell
me. Mi^s Biddy Bellnir, if yuu nnii't like some-
boilv better ihiui old sir Siiuou Luvcit f

6id. Hcich ho !

Tu]^. What's bct)|;ho, miss ?

Bid. When F say hetgh ho. it means yes.

Tag. \'cry well : and Uus Muncbody ii ayoung
f band»(mic fellow f

Bid, Ueigh ho !

Tag. And If yoa were adc« lus, you*d bft as
merry a.i the be»t of us?

Bid. Heigh ho!

Tag. So far so good ! and since X hare got
you to wet your feet, souoe over bead at owre,
and the pain will be over.

Bid. There — then. [A iong ligh.] Now, help
me out. Tag, as fiut as ynu can.

Tag. When did you he»r from your gallant }

Bid. Never since lie went to the array.

Tag. How so?

Bid. I was afraid the letters would fall into
my uuut's hands, &u I would not )ci him write to
me : but t had u better reuMn thcu.

Tag. Pmy, let's bc*r that, too.

Bid. Why, I tlmut;ht if I .should write to him,
anil promise him to love nobody ebe, and should
aftenvards chniice my mind, he might think I
wa!» irmnstaiit, and call uie a coquette.

Tag. What a simple imioceot it is ! [Aiidc]
And ratve you chansced your mind, iiiiss ?

Hid. No, indeed, Tag; I love him the best of
any of tbem.

Tag. Of any of them ! Why, bave you
mure r

Bid. Pray, don't ask me. __

Tag. Nuy, uii-rt, if you only trtut me hf
halves, you can't expect

Bid. I will inist you with e%-ery thiDff. When
[ pnrlcd with him, I grew mefanchofy; m^ ia
order to divert nic. I have let two others cooit
me till he return again.

Tag. Is tJiat all, my dear? Mighty simple. Iih
deed! f^«k

Bid. One of them is a fine blustering n»n,
and so called cflptaiu Flash; he's olwaya talking
of tiglitin^ and wnn: he tliinkn he's sure ofme: bit
I ^liall baulk him : wc shall see him this afbr-
noon, for he pressed stnmgly to come; aad I
have ^itcu htm leave, while my aunt's taking ber
afternoon's nap.

Tag. And who is the Other, pray?

Bid. Quite another sort of a man. Heipeab
like n InfU for all ibe world, and never swevsn
>lr F\a«Ai does, but wc^rs nice white glov«% $ai
tells me what ribhons become my complexion,
where to stick my patches, who is the best mil-
liner, where they sell the best tea, and whick t(
the best wash for the face, und the bcK w*te
for the hands ; ho is always playing; wita ar
fan, and sbcwitig his teeth ; and whenever I
speak, he pats me — so — and cries, 'Tfco dl»fl
' take me, .Miss Biddy, bat yooll be my peflb-
' tion !' — ha, hn, ha !

I^. Oh, the pretty rrvature ! And whit <b
ynu call bim, pray *

Bid. His name is Fribble : you •ibnil see him,
too; for, hy mt<tLakc, I appointed them at tW
awne time : but you must help me oat widi
them.

Tag. And suppose your famifiteshcmUooai
too

Caskick.]

BRITISH DKAMA.

135

Bid, I khookl not care what became of the
«tbcrt.

Tag. \Vhat*i his name ?

BiJ. U bf|;iiu with an K — h — o

Tag. I'U be hauled if it i$ nut Khndopttil t

Bid. I am frighteucd ai you 1 Yuu'rc u witch.
Tk.

2^. I am so; and I can tell yuur fortune.
loo. Look nte ill itit; face. The p'utlviunii >'i>u
love tBu«t ID the world, will be at uur houtte tlii<-
aftemoon : he arrived t'rum the army this room-
ing and dies till he »ee» yuu.

Bid. U he oomc, Tai; f Don't joke with me '.

Tag. Not In keep ynu louj^er iu suepence, you
roust kmiw, the servant of vuur Mrophon, bv
SOUK unaccountahle fate nr nthr:r, israv lord and
ntHler: he has jtuit been witli mc, told me of
his inartn't arTival and iuibaiicuce

Bid, Oh, my dear, dcarTac, yon have pot me
out of my Mils — I am all uvef in a lluttcr. 1
ftball leap oat of my ikia — I don't kaoM what to

I

Alt with myself ! Ir. he come, Ta^ M tun n*adjf
to faint — [ would ^ive the world 1 bad put oa
my pink, niid bilvcr robings to-dny.

lag, I t&siire you, miu, you look cfaann*
inijly.

Hid. Do T, indcf-d, though? I'll put a !ittle
patch under my left e^e, and ponder my bair
tinniediately.

Tufi, WcUf go to dinner lirstt and theu I'U at-
sist yuu.

lUd. Dinner! I can't eat a ninnel ! I don't
know whnl'« the matter with me : my cart finele,
my heiirt heats, my face flushc\ nnd I ircinhle
c» cry joint of me. I inu*t r\m in mid Umk at
iny^li HI the glass this innmenl.

7V- ^*-'^ "^ has it, and dwply too; This a
iw hypocrisy

Not art, but nat\ire, now, performs hw part,
.^ud c%t;ry word's the language of the heart.

[Enunt.

h

ACT U.

SCENU I.— Con/imirt.

Tnt€r CAtTAiK LovEiT, Biddy, Tao, and
Ptrr.

Copr. To find you still constant, and to arrive
at such n critical juncture, is the IkcigliL of for-
aine and happiness.

Btd. Nothinf; shall force tnc from you; and,
if I am H-curc of your aiIcctioii»

Pm^. I'll be bound for hiiu, madam, and give
ymi any security you can ask.

Tag. Every llunc ^oes on to our vti*h, sir. 1

CI DOW had a secoud conference with ray old
jr; wkI site %r8k so ctitvincexl by my nryu-
■■Bt*, that lite returned instantly to ihe lawyer
l» foriitd the dniwtufi out of any writiit;:^ ai oil --
aod alw n detenniiud never tu thwnri missV in-
cfiDalioiis, and left it t>> us Iu f^tw titc uUl gcn-
Ueaaau hu Hi»char);e at the next \mL

Cmpt. Shall I uixiertttke the old dmenn ?

T<u. If Me have uccasiuu fur l>t-lp, uc ^11
call for Tov.

Bid. I eipect him every moment ! tlicrefure,
ni tell yuu what, lUnxlophil, you anil vuur man
shall be locked up in my brd-cbnnilipr till we
have sctUed ataUrri wiUi the nid umtlcniau.

Capt. Uo what you picnse with me.

Bid. Vuu must not be inipatit'tit thctufth'

C*fd, I can undergo any thinig with such a re-
ward in view. One kii«, and I'll be quite rc&igu-
cd— "And now, show mc the way.

[Kjcunt.

Tkg. Cnmev sirrah, when 1 have got you under
lodk and fa'-y, 1 shall br>o$[ you to rt.-a&nn.

Pmf. ,\re your wcddin^-cUithc!! ready, my
dare ? Tl>c ccrtilicalc \s cximc.

Xiif. Gu, fgUon your coptain, si'rrab ! — marcJi.

Yon may thank Heaven I liad patience to stay
so lung.

[£maf Tag and Purr.

Rc-cntcT Biddy.

Hid. I was very much alarmed for fear my
Cwo gnllants shnuin com^ in upon us uniiivnres;
«vc Hhimid have had sad worii if they had. I
tiiiH I Love Klioiloplitl vastly; fur, llmueh my
other B)mrks flatter uie more, I can't abide the
iJiuuKhts of them now— I have business upitu ray
iiuiids cnouich lo turn my little head— but, tptOt
my heart's good, and a % for danicerf ! Let me
w^^What »hall I do with iiiv two gallnnts? T
must nt least part with them decently. SupnoM
I set them together by the ears? 'I'be lucucsc
thought in the world ! For, if they won't quarrel
.'a.H 1 briievo they won't), 1 can break witli tliom
tur cowards, and very justly dismiss them my
9(-rvi' c : and, if they will tii;ht, and one of tlicm
be kilted, the olltrr will ccrlaiiily he hanpcH, or
run awny ; and so 1 ^hall very hnnd.<ioinelv gut
i-id of botli. I am glad I have settled U M)
purely.

En^rr Tao.

Well, Toe, are they safe f

Tag. I t))iiik so the doors double locked,

anil 1 hare the Vcy ux my pocket.

Btd, I'hnt's pure; but have you given thtmt
any tiling to divert them }

Tif;. I hnve ifiven the captain one of your old
(•loves tc* mumble; but mv ijtrcphon is diverting
hiiQM-lf with the more substantial cumforts of n
cold vcnivin pasty.

Bid, Vrhiit bimll wc do with ihe nenC that
comes?

136

BKITISH bRAMA.

[GAimie

Tag. ir Mr Fribble comes firsr. 111 clap hini
Dp into my Inriv's slorc-mom. I suppose he is ti
grcut inakt-rnt nmmialade binuclf, and will liave
■n nppiirtuiiity ot muking some chtJail remiu-lifi

I upon our piistry and swectincnls.

' Ryi. \\ hen one nl' ihnm »x>mes, do vou go nnd
WRtuh (or tlie other: and o-S mmhi »« yoti sec hjin,
run ui lo lis, and pi*ciend it i^ inv tiuiit, and so
wc sliiill hm* an excuse to lock him up tiU we
wan) liim.

Tag. Vou may depend upon nie. Here is oac
•r tbein.

Enter FninBLC.

hid. Mr Fribble, your servant-
¥nb. MJM Biddy, your slave — I hope I htvc
DOt come up<in you abruptly ? I should hare
waited upon you Mooer; but an nccident linp-
ppuHJ (hm discnmpiAed me so, that 1 wasubligul
to go home Kpiin ro lake drops.

Bid. IndfinJ vnu dnn't loot well, sir Go,

Tnc, '■^<l du lu 1 bid you.

Tag. I will, iDaduu. [Er(7 Tao.

hta. I liuvc M't my maid to wntcb my nuntf
thai i*e mayn't Iw: surprised by her.

¥nb. Your unidcoce is u^atX to your beauty,
. >ni<<>: nnd I ntrpc- your perimlting me to YitA
tyuiir hands, will be no iinpeachmeiu to your un-
der* landing:.

hid, I luiic the sight of him. — \Aiide^—\ was

ftfrnid I •.bould not have hud the pleasure of m'p-

[ iitff vou. Pniy. let ine know what accidcnl you

I net with, nnd what's tlic matter with your hand i

\ —I stmn't b*' msy till I knovr.

t'rib. Well, i vow, Miss Biddy, you're a ^o^d
I crerUr- — HI endeavour to muster up what little

Siriis I have, aad tell you tlie whole affair. —
era ! — But lirst, you must give me Ictive to
I make you a present nf a small )X>t o( niy lip-
I lalvc. My servnnt made it this moniing: the
' ingredieiit-j arc inno<.'ent, I assure you ; noihing
but the best vir^in-mu, conserve of rows, lUid
lily-of-tbe-ndley water.

hid, I thank you, sir ; but mv lips are prneml-
[ fy red ; and when they aii'i, I bite (hem.

Frib. I bite my own sometimes, to pout ihcm
I k little; but this trill give thmn a soitnc&s, co-
lour, and an agreeable moitter. Thus, let me
make an humble olTcriiig at that sliriiie, where i
Iwve already sacriliccd mv heart.

[Kneelt, and givet the pot.
Bid. TTpon my word, tlmt's very prettily tx-
rpreisedl! you are positivrlv the best company iii
r the world — I wish be was out of the house.

[Aside.

Frib. Bat ta retura to mv acciitcnt, and ttic

Lte»80D why my band is in tbis condition — I bet;

I ycmll excuse the appeami»ce of it, and be satisii-

Icd, Umt nothing but mere ncccuity could have

I forced me to appear tliu« mutllcd before vou.

Bid. I am very willing to eicuse any miftfor-

tune that happens to you, sir. [Curtiics.

Frib. You are vasUy good, indeed — Thus it
WHS — Hem ! You mu")! kiiou, mii^s there i« not
an animal in the creation I hare so great an
aversion to, as those hackney-roach fellows— As '
I was cx>niing out n{ mv Incfginga, mvs noe of
tliem to mf. Would your honour nave a coach ?
\i), nmn, said I. not nuw (with all the ci^iUty
imacinablo). I'll carry yon and your dull too>
snid be, Mi<<^ Margerv, for the same price — i
which the masculine bea&ts about us fell a !■
ing. Then 1 turned round in n great |_
Curse me, says I, fellow, but 111 trouiicr thee !•
Ani( Bs 1 wiis buldiiiy out my bund in n thieatcn*
ing poster — thus — he makes a cut at me with his
w!ii]», aiid utrikitif; me over tlie nail of ray liltle
fmgcr, it gave me such exquisite lorter, thu i
fninleid away — and while i was in this cimditinn,
the m'lh picked niy pocket of mv pnrw, mv sriv
barf, my Morocco smelling- bottfc, and my* hua-
w ifc.

Hid. I sluUl lauch in his face. — [Aade.]—} as
afniid you arc in greiit pain. Pruv sit dowo, Mr
l-'ribblc : but 1 hope vour hand is iii no danger?

flUcysil.

Frib. Not in the Iciist, madam ; pmv* dim^ Iw
npprebciiKJvc. A milk-poultke, and' a gnitlc
sweat to-night, with n litile munna in il>e muro-
ing, I nni ooutidcnt will rrlieve mc entirely.

Bid. But pray, Mr Fribble, do you make use
of a husswife?

Frib. I cnii't'do witlioul il, raadnm ; there is
a club of us, ull vouiig bachelors, the »weeteM Mh
tiely in tlie world; and we meet three tnncsl
week fit each other's lodgings wbrre we d/iak
tea, hear the chat of the diiv, inteiii fasliioits for
the ludit'!', uinkt; models ol thfiii, aud cut cut
piitlerri in paper. We were ttic first iii%cnli>n
of knottmg ; and this fringe is the original pn>*
ducc. and joint labour of our little coinuiunity.

Rid. And who are tour prtttT »«, prav f

Ink Thcrt's Pbd. \\\»t\\t\ JiK-ky Wagtail, «y
lor<rrnp, Billy Uiinplc, :dr Oilljerry Diddk-, aod
your humble

Bid. What a sweet collection of happy erca>
Hire* !

Frib. Indeed and so we are nuts— faut a p^^
(ti;!iini4 fracas ditconcerled us some lime tfp at
BiJIy Dimple's — ihrec drunken naughty wuiaen
of the toun burst into our clut»-r<ioti>, cuncd a*
id], tlirvw down the china, broke fi\ looking-fUs-
sc!>, sfrnldcd H!' with tlieklop-bar^m, and scrairlwl

ttuor I'liiL \V hidlc's check in suih a raanM-/, that
ic lias kept his bed tlveie three weeks.

Bid. Indeed, Mr Fnhblr. I think all oor MS
hnvc grt'Qt n-nsun to lie anery i for tf ymi art so
happy, tinw you are barlvelors, the ladies nay
wi-h and »gb to very liltlr purpose.

Frih. You are mistaken. I aunre yoo ; 1 tn
pHHliLnuusly mllicd about my passoa for yov. t
inn tell yiui l)i»t. nnd am looked upon asuMto
our wxifty alrtudv. He, he, be !

hid. TiBy, Mr Iribble, now yon luve GDoeMi

Gaibick.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

13?

faTf dun-'t tliiok. tnc uupoileot, if I lang to biKrw
huw jou latvitfj lu u5e tlu- luil^ who luu been bn-
twurrd with »ot»r ittTn tiuii3 ^
. Frtt. NuC n» niuat otiicr nivev mv uwd, I !i»-
Wre you . ttlllhc (luiui-ttic butuicas will be latifii
off liur hsiidft, I ^hfttl lunke the t«a, cmnb the
(iuipk and tirus ihti rItilHrrn myf^cll'; Mt lluit,
UuiiiKfa Fiu a cummuucr, Mr» rriblile will IrHil
Umc (lie uf a miinaii uf quiilily ; fur ttbc nlll hnvc
iwthing ro do but lie iti bt-d, pUjr hI ranU, and
•cotd the vrviuitft.

H*4, \Vluit it liappy crcnluru ulic mast be !

if'rtb. Du yon roaily tlmili >u^ 'Jlwri, firuyi !•')

n* have n little itrout tnlk witti ym IbuuKb

asgr pnieioa m not of \tm^ ftonding, 1 bv|>G liic
Moccnty ot' luj intvntiuuh

Sid, Um !», Im !

Prih. Go, you wild thing !—[ra/f Aw.]— TIic
devil take tar. but ihrre ih no talUit^ tu ytm —
Raw csn you use idc in (lit« b;irliariiLi» m^tiiiirr!
in hid the conttttuiiun ot'iin niijriitiati, it noiild

link umkr luy iuf&nttt;* hwinan natcr cun*[

lupppft IL

Bid. Why, what irould yuu do wttb me, Mr
Fnbble?

frih. VVdl, I vow rit bc'nt you if you talk so
— ^oo't Xrntk At nte ii) ibut iiiunitiT-'fleili and
Mood can'i bear it — I could — but I wou't grow
indecent -

Bid. Rut priyi sir, whrre mn tl« verses von
were to wnte upoo me? I find, if ayitun^ liidy
dcpcncU too much upon auoh line geittlciucii lu
you, alicll certainly be disnpprtintcd.

Tr*h, I vow, (he tiuttrr I was put into tins af-
Ccmooo, Uti quite turned my M'lisrs — \\vn: tbt-y
Wt ihoutfh— oitd t btilic\'-- yiMi'll like titcot.

Bid. There cau bt- no doubt of iL

[Curtsif*.

Frib. I protest, miss, 1 don't like- iliai curtay
— Look at rae, utd ulMayti riK- in thi» miinnrr.-^
[ji&otn Arr.] — But, my dear crreter, wlio put (in
yottr cap to-day ? 'Hicy hnvt inndc a friiilit of
yoB, and it i* an vcHdw ujt nlii l»dy Crnwi"M>i'«
Mek. Wtici) ne are tcltlt-d, I'll drt.'6.i ynur hiiid
RtyMlf.

Bid. Prar raad the vcncs to me. Mr Fribble.

fV»Ji. I uliey — IJera! Willinru Fribble, csij. to
UiTt Biddy Dellair — greeting.

No ice w bard, no cold us I,
Till warmed and wftcncd by your c;t;
.^nd now my heart dissolves awiiy.
In drrntn^ by nij^lit, in sigt» by day.
Nu bmlMl puiioii tires my brira^tt.
Which luathes tliv object wlurn u«)aacKscd ;
fVit one of liarroless, f'cnllc kind,
W'UttuT y>y* are rioitered — in the mind:
T>irii take with me luve'^ Itettrr part,
111* dowDy wing, bdt not hu durt.

ttemdoyQU like them?

Btd. 11b, lia, ha ! I swear thry are very pretty

— but I don't quite undci-^liuid ilicni.

Frib. The!* light pieces are never so well ut>-
dcr^tittHl ill ri'iidiii£a» Mitsing. I have wt tlirtu
niVMilf, and will eitdt-uvtiur to ^ivc tbtin ynn:
La — la — 1 have un atwminabic roUI. and cnn't
Mi)g a note; however, tho tune'^ nothings tlie
maimer's all.

No ire so hard, &c [&'n^]

Eaier Tag, rtinnmg.

Tag. Oh, madam, modmn !

Frtb. What's tlic matter f

Tag. Your vmtf your annty yoar annt, ma-
dam !

lUiL Oh ! for Heaven's «akc, hide Mr Fritihle,
or we nre ruitKd ! Put him into tl»e stoiv-rooiu
this momcnL

Frib. U it a damp place, Mrs Ta^ i The flour
ife brvurdetl, I hope ?

Tag. Indeed jt is not, sir.

Fnb. WtiatKliall I doM shnlt certainly catch
my dentil ! Wbt<rc'» my cambric handkerchief,
nnd my salta i I shall ucrtoinlv have my liy^e^
rics. [Kufti in uith Tao* I

Bid. In, in, in ! — So, now Vt ilie otjier come
as sooo as he will ! I do not care if I hnd tweii-
ly of tbetn, so tticy would but cone one aAcr
anotlicr. ,

il«-en(er Tag.

Was my aunt coming ?

Tag. No, *iM(i& Mr Flash, I suppo«r, by the
ienglh of liU Airidr^ atid the cocV of bis bit.

tlcll be here tiiia minute Wluit sbaJl we do

Willi him?

hid. I'll niRnugc- him, I warrant you, and try
hi.s cuurace ; he sure you art: ready to u^oad mu
— we shall have pure sport.

Tag. Uusli ! I*ere li« comes. *

Enter FtAsn, tinging.

Fliai. Well, my blossom, liere am I ! Wlmt
hn|>cs for a poor dog, eh ? — How ! the maid
here? then I've IuaI the town, damme 1 Not a
shilling t» bribe llie ginermir ; slic'll spfing a
mine, and I »htill be blown to the devil !

iiiii. Diin't br nshnnied, Mr FIndi: I Imra
lolil Tn^ the wimie aOoir; and sin.-'? my friend,
I cnii unsure you.

Flath. In sIh'? then mIic won't be nunc, I am
renuin. [Jsiiif.j W cll, Mr* Tag, you know. I .
•iup|t(i*c, n hat IS tu l>e done: this youu|; Uuljr '
and I luivc raiitraitL-d uutrrf-lve»; and so, if yuu '
plL-B<« lo sumd bridic-iuaid, why ne'U fii tJia ,
\\ediling-d(iy dirci'tly.

Tnf. 1 lie wcddiuK-dny, ^r ?

Fhih. The nedding-day, sir! Ajr, Ufl (be

S

BRITISH DRAMA.

weilding day, sir ! What lia\T ^ou in my to that,
sir/

liiit. My dear ooplatn Flash, don't make surli
a noiiK) : yoii'lj wiike my aoiit.

KaiA. And inpfKt*c 1 did, diild. wlutt then?

Biii. Slw'd be fri^liteiiud out iifher wit*.

Fiash. Atmr, miS3? Iri<;lfit;ncd mine^ Tout
itu ruHtrairCi I a&Aiire yuu : you niintnkc the
tliiit^ child : I hnvc uanc rcasou to bclir\c 1 nui
nni quite 80 »hocting. [J^rcirdly-

Tag. Indeed, Kir, you flatter your<ttii But

prft\, Mr, what urc your prctciuioos?

F/as/i. Tbe lady's promiw*, mv o*"!* jiaision,
xnd the hpflt-tnounici blade iii tfie tlnve kiiig-
doniB. If !inv man cnn prudufc a better title.
Ipt bitii iniLC- Iter. If not, the devil mince me if

1 give up an atiiin of Iter !

Hc'i
iiuld it.

KiJ. He's ill a fine piusion, if he would but

Tag. Prny, sir, hear rrtiyjn a tittle.

i'iaih. I iiwer dii, nmUitui; it is iwt my rae-
lliod of pi-oceedliij;; here is my I«^ic ! \J)ratt:i
ha Jjrorrf.] Sa, «a — my hwt argument is cart-4ivcr-
arm, mndniii, lin, liu f [LiiuT/^rs]; andif he oti-
•wcrs thni, madHm, through niy «mnll ^ts, my
' lireoth, blood, and mistress, are all at his service
nnthini; more, madnm.

Jiid. Tl>]!.*lldo, this'lldo!

'iir/g. Diit, sir, sir, sir !

Fiat/i. Bur, mudnii), mailnm, madam ! T pro-
fess bimid, inudiiin^; I hu!^ bred up tu it from a
rltild; I study the hook of fate, and ihe camp i^
lOY miivertiilv. I huvc attended llic lectures of
prinrc Chnrle** up'm tlic Rhine, and Biitliiuiii
upon the Pu, and uave extracted l(ni>wledf;e ffuii
ilic mouth uf II rnnnon. I'm imt to be frightened
with ^luits, mudntn ; no, do.

iJirf. I'l.ty, dcnr sir, dun't mind her, hut let
me prevail with yoti m go away thi« lime — Ynui-
pR»«iim is Very fmi', to l>e sure; and wtu-n my
itnni and Tiiv: ore c(>ie out of the way, I'll let
ymi ktiiiw uheii I'd have ynii rnme n^nin,

Ff'tsf), Whin von'd have me rume acain.
rliild ! And suppoftr 1 never would come a^uin,
what do yon tliink of ihnt now, hn ? Von preletid
Co he Bitntd uf your aunt; your aunt knosv»
whui'swhnt too well, to refuse a eood mnlcii

when 'us olTcred Look'c, miw, Vm a man uf

boaour; f:lory is mv airu; I hate told von thu
foad I am in ; and <1o yott sec here, child } [S/iuti -
tng hh #norrf.] no tricks upon travellers.

HtJ. Hut pray, sir, hear me.

Fim^. N'o, t)'>. on ; 1 LtiOw rhe world, mn-
ifcun; 1 am ti>iwcll known :ii C'^vcnt-tlnrHen nt
the Dial, miulnm: 1*11 bimk n lamp, bully nroti-
itable. brnii u juMice. or hdk n box-krcpcr, witii
put nmn in the lilirNii-4 of WeMninnter t What
do vou iliuik of me nmv, timdiun f

kul. I'niy, iloil't Le ^ofll^otls sir.

Flmh. ('nine, ctMDc, foroe ; few word« nir best;
pinK-liody'^ h.ippier ih'.m »oniel>ody. and I ant :i

jMor wily ffllow, Iwl, ha iliai'i all Lool-

jiuuj cliii^, to be ?lioit (lur I'lii a taan of reflec-

tion), I hove but a hagatelle to say to you. I am
m tme with yin up to hell and dt'spcrntiun ; may

ilic sky cnibh me if 1 am not ! But iince

there u anodier more fortunate than I, ndieSf
Biddy ! Prmpori^' to the hnppy rival, pnbence
lu poijf Ha>h ; but the frr*t tuiie we ineet- —
guiipon-dcr be my perdition, but HI liave rhe ho
iiour to cut a throat with him. {Cinng.

Hid. [Slopping Aim.] You may neet with him
now, if you please.

Ftaah. Now ! may I? Where is beMU

tiacrilice the villain I [Atoud.

Tug. Ilnsli ! be'« hut in the uett room.

K/flfA. U he ? llam me [X.o«>,J into a roortar>>
piece hut Til have veiweuiKe ! my blood boib to
be at hiDL— Don*t be frighteiicd, miss !

Bid. No, sir ; I iiCicr wb& better pleaseti, I
assure vou.

Ffuih 1 Ahull soon do \nt buMnesa.

Bid. As soon as you please ; Cake your own
lime.

Tag. Ill fetch tlie gcntlemaa to yoo M"
mediately. [Gotnf,

Flash. [Sfuppa^Af-r] Stay, slay a little; whala
pasiiou 1 nin in ! — Arc you sure lie Is in the ant
room ?— I iliall certainly tear him to piccea— —
I would fain mnrder him like a iienlletoan too
— l.t<^idcs, tlii^ family shan't be bruujiht tola
Irouhlt- ufon rny account — 'I Imve it — I'll watch
for him in the <tlreet, and mix hifi blood with tltf
puddle of the Uf St keunel. [Om»g.

Bid, [Stoppit'g Am.J Xo, pray, Mr flash, Jet
me see the battle ; I >hall be glad to see jeu
fi^ht lor inc ; you slmnt go, wdrctl,

[ Holding him.

Tag. \ Holding him.] (Ill, pray let me scerou
figlil : llicre were two ps-ntlcmBO Jit ycslenW,
and mv mistrm^ waMicvcrw diverted in berliirt
— rit fetch him uut. [Eik.

Bid. Do. stick him, slick him, raptaiu riufa;
L »liall love you the h«-ticr for it.

Flaifi. Damu your lt>ve ! 1 ul»b I was nil af
the liouw. yAnit.

Bid. Here Ite is— —Now, speak some of JW
liitnl «onU, iiii'l run him through' ■

FlaiK. 1 }ou't be iu hu now-

Bid. Never fear roe !

[Aude foBiftot-

EnUr Tag and Friiblx.

Tag. [To FataatB.] Take it w my won^iir,
ho \s ii buiiv, and nothuHj else.

trii: [Frifxkttnrd.^ I know iniu ore IBJ lacd
fiiiLnd; but pcrtuips you don't know huAipa^
tioD.

T'ig. \ am eontidrnt he is a coward.

Fiib. I>*ye thiiii vt, Mr«Ta(;F

Ti'a. • >li, I am «ure of it.

htil'. I* (h* f N«v, ttrn. !*m his man !

iVwA. I i-kc hi* ifMiki, but I'll uot vciiiurr u»
fur nt lirst.

Tog. Speak, to huD, sir.

Garrick.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

139

I

rWft. 1 will— >I anri^Ktattd, sir— liein— tlwt
you — bjr Mrs Tap herc~-»r — \^hn has iafoniieJ
mc — bf!fl^-~ttlat you would tw glnd to ^priik witli
IDC— demine — [ 1 'arm n(f'.

FbtMh. I oui sm^k to ^u, »ir — or lo itiiy bu-
dy, air— or ] can let it nlone nniJ hold mv tnncnc
— if I see occutoD, air, duiimie^ [ 'fw/t* nlf.

Bid, Well sud, Mr Flash; be lit a ^x-^rni.

Tof. [To Frihblc.J Dun't mind hi5 looks, he
dMnges colour already ; to tiiui, to hrn !

fPu»Vi Aim.

Fri6. Dun't hurry mr. Mm Ti»i, for lleaTeuV
s^e : I ^hall br out (rt" lircath bt-fore I tit'iiiop if
Jrou flo — «r— [Tk Ftusa.J If you ciiii'i ^pcak to
a eeadtfmai) in un<'ther iiuinncr, nir^why, then,
tV venture to my, you had bentr huld your
(oaeue— cons.

i'iatk. Sir, you and I an* of different npininna.

IViA. You and your o|)tmon4 tnuy tfo to ttu-
dcnl — take lliat. [Turnt n(f' lo Tao.

Tmff. Well Slid, tir; the day*!) your ov*:).

but. Wboi's tiie matter, Mr Flash f I» all your
fur* Koue ! Do you give me up f

fViA. I have duue liu> buMiiess. [Struli tilnrnt.

FlMh, Oi\( you up, inndatu ! No. nutdain.
*faea I AH) ddcrniioen in mv rcMilutiom, lam
tlwvTS cxlm ; 'ti» our vtavt umdam : and lujw I

thai) proceed to busiue** Sir, 1 beg to »«y u

word to rnu in pritatc.

Trih, Keep your distanrr, friluw, and Til nn-
wrer you. 'rhal liuJy Iw coufcivd a pawiou for
»e; and, o she ha» ddivvrcd up brr heuri into
ny ke«pia^ Of^tthnif! but my Wi's bluod &liall
ptrchake it. Dumti^iion !

Tm^. Bravo ! bravo !

¥laMk. If tb>tv nre lt»e omdiltonfi, Ftl cive you
(vnc»t for it din-^tly. [Ur-nir*.] \Otr, viltmu.
all neht and iiik this miniilc, or the
if niv ni£e wiit oifHlufv my ri'SMm, mid
anntliilaie die uuibiii^ues^ of your aouI
■iM body in nil iiiMaut.

¥rA. I VTi^t tbert- was n constiiUe nt band lo
Ur mk boiJi up : we ahall ctrtaiiily do oue umj*
•W ■ prejudice.

Tmg. \o, yuu won't indeed, sir; pray, bciir up
'*Kin ; if you mouM (nit dratr your ^vv-i»i-d, and
^iii a pBsaioii. he would nin nwny diieclly.

fiA, WtU lie? \DrantJ\ 'lliru I ran uo l<uu:er
^'waia nyaelf^llcll mtd the furies ! Conic on,
(W vrage bruic !
Tag. Oo on, 41 r I
[Hire they ttattd infiphtin^ pottnra, h-kile
RiDUT itHtl fta puik them J'orivard.
Ftiuk. C'ouic ou. sir !
ifwl Go on.
ff-»K Couie Oft, rascul !
Ttt^. Go ou, Mr,

£a/«rCAPT%[jf LuvciT endYvrr.

Cmpt. WhHt'i the iii-rtter, yrti'loinen i

I 7A(-v h"tk Ktra they JtnuHfi jtoiturf.
Ttmk. i}»u'% part as, iir !

Frib. No, pray w, don't part ub ; we ahall do
jon a mischief <

Capt. PiiS*, look to the other gentlrnun, andj
adi a surgeon.

BiJ. A Tiij;. Ila. ha, ha !
I*ti(f'. BW'si roc I how can yoa stand under
your wuundf, Mr?
Frib. Aw i hurt, Mr?

Fit)'. Hurt, nir ! why, you have — let me ace ■
prey» stand ui llic liehl — untr, ttvo, three, tbrouzFk
the heart ! and, let ine see — buoi — ei|;ht tbruui^hi
the ftmull gui9 ! (.'otne. nir, mnkc it up the ruuiul
dozen, ami then v^r'H part you.
AH. lio. Itii, ha !
Capt. CoHK' hrre. Puff!

[ Whisperi, and ttxtkt at Flasa,
Puff. Tis the vei-y same, sir.
Capl. [To FiAiH] Pray, sir, haieliwt hod
the pleasure of seeing vou abmad?
Flash. I have served abroad.
tStipl. Had nut you the misfortune, flir, to ba
mis^ini; at the last cnKAitciucitl m Flanders?

FtoMh. 1 WHS found anioiignt the dead in tlie
field of battle.

Pu(}'. He was the first dmt fell, air—the winil
of II caniioii-ball stmck hiiii (Ltit upon Ins fare :
lie hud just !»lrennch eiiinit^h to creep into a diich ;
nnd there he was found after the battle in a uio«t
iit-plonitle oondilion,

Capt. Vny, >ar, « hat ndvanremcnt did yvu geC
by ihe service of that day ?

FtasA. My wounds rendered mc uafic for ■rr*
\'ice, and I sold out.

Puf)'. ^tole out, VOL mean We hunted biin

hv scent to tlie wnter-side ; tltcnrc he took ship-
ping for Filmland; and taLini; lln^ advantn;:e of
luv inascer'a atMenoe, hat attacked the ciiadt-l ;
which wc are luckily come in relieve — and drira
Ins lirjuour into the ditdi again.
AtL Hit, hn, bn!
Frih. lie, he, be!

Capt. And now, sir, how have you dared to
show your face Jii open day, or wear c*cn ihu
out&idc of a profcsMon you have «n much scan-

diilized by yuur hehav luur ? 1 honour tlw

OHOiiC of a soldier; nnd. as n pnrtv L-nncurnvd,
n<n bound nut tu >ee it distEniced. Aft you luive
forIettc<l your title to honour, deliver up yuur
Hword this instant.

Ftath. Nay, i^oixl rnptain

Capl. No words, air. ITnket kit ttrord.

Ful. He's a uid teuundrel- 1 wiiJi I had

It^ickird him.

Capt. The next thini; I o)mmRnd — Leave lliir
houM.', rbaiiKe the colour of your tloihcs, and
liercenes<t of your lo4»ks ; appear froui top to toe
the "Tctch, the very wrcica thou nrl: If e'er I
meet tliee in the nulirnry drp»9 a^iiin, or if you
put DU looks thut bely llie native tiaurcM of thy
heart, be it where it will, tl>it i^hall be the re-
ward of thy impudence ainl diuibcdicnce.

[AiV&i him; Ac mn* of.

BRinSH DRAMA.

[Gauricc*

Frill. What an inf«mOu«t nucal it is ! — 1 ihanV
ynu, iir, for tliis fnvDur j but I muBt nftcr, nnil
cane him. [Gain/i, i$ ttupl t</ the Cai>T4In.

Ctipt. One word with you too, iir.

Frib. Witli roc, sir !

Vapt. You trccd mn tremble ; T »h»n\ ote you
rounhlT-

i-V(i. [ am rcrtain of thnt,!iir; but I itm 8«id-
ly inmUcil «nU wcitk nerve*,

t'op/. Thou nrt of » specie* too dcapirable for
corr»M;lj(iti ; therefore be pone ; and if I soe you
iiercai^in, your nuitinificaiicy lyhan't finitect you.

Frib. 1 uni obliged to yoil for your ktndncsit.
Veil, if ever I ha^r (tnv (hint; to do witli iii-
triturt auAin Miss Biddv, your wrYani — Cup-
tain, yonr MMTant — Mrs T«g, yuura — Old widier,
y*n(ri !

i»w(|: Rob !

[In rRTBBte's faeCf athe U goini; ovt.

Frih.OUrd} ' [Exit.

Ail. IU.h», Iml

PkjT. Shall I case you of ynOr imphv, sir?

Capi. Tal*c it, Puff, ns a entail itximipmsr
fur thy fidelity; lliou caiiSt belter uve it thun iu
owner.

Fh'X Twish your honour had a pBtf nt to tslr
tuch trifles from t-very prrtiv geirtleintin thnt
cottid tpnre them. I would set up ilic lu^eM
rutler% bliop in the kinfidoin.

Capt. Well wd. Hoff!

fiuL Bui, pray, Mr Fox, haw did you pet out
of your hole r I llinii|!lii ynu wnn Utt^kcd in.

Cupt. I shot tlio holt bnt'lc when I hmird n
ttnitc — and ihinkimc you wn^ in dnmrcr, 1 broke
my cuulincinent wiihout any other ro»»iden»ii"»
than vour •afetv. f A'lW' h-r Hontl.

Sir Sim. [Without.] Biddy. Biddy! Why.

Rid. 'Hicre'a the old gendeaian; run in, run
in!

[Firunt CkVJAXV 9nd Pt'n, Tig
opens the dottr, ■

EttlerSm Simok andjAtrr.ti.

Str Siru. \Vhere have yoo been. Hiddv? — Jns-
pcr nnd I hnve Lnifcked and mlled as loud and
as Ion; Hit we were able. What t«ere you doinff,
ehild ?

Hut I was rrnding pan of a play to Tag, and
ac came as s-mn ns »e heard you.

air Sim. What play, Miippei ?

'iatf. 'Hie ' )M Balclietor ; Jtnd ire weir just jot
tu old Nykyn, as you kitocLed at the door.

Sir Sim, I must hove you burn your plavit ftti<<
mmaiire*, now you are mine — ihey eomiivt yovr
iiim>cence; and what can voii learn from them?

Bid. What you can't tench me, I am sun-.

S*r Sim. Fy, f?, child ' I never heard you tall;
at thi» mle belore. I'm ut'raifl, laj, yoo put
th«»e things- inio her lii*ad.

Taf. I, air! — 1 yow. sir Simon, slie Luun*'
more than yoa can ooiKCiirc. She surpriM'<» me,

I nscure voa, thnagh f bnve 1»Pen married thea«
two year^ and lived with bacliulors nKwt port of
my bfe.

Sir Sim. Do yoa licar, Ja^er? rm all mxr in

a sweat. Pray, misa, have you not liad oom-

pnuv this afternoon ? 1 saw a youn^ fop go out
of the house as I was oomii^ hither.

Bid. You might have seen twn, fir Simon, if
your eyra bad Imm good.

Sir Sim. Do you hear, .Tasper ?— ^-ftttr* iht

child is poMwscd Pray, mua, what do ibry

want liercf

Hilt. Me, sir ; they wanted me.

Sir Sim. Wliat did they want with yott, I sayf

Hitl. Why, what do you want with ntef

Sir Sim. i)oyou bear, Jasper? — I am Ihondfr-
struck ! — I can't belicra my own ears— Tell
ire the rca^H), 1 say, why-- -

Tag. I'll tell you ihc reason why, if yoa please,
t>ir Simon. Miss, von kiintv, i* a trrv ailly TOoaK
uirl; Had, hating found out >! Heaven kDo*isbow!j
that iliere is Mnrie little diArrencc between HXty-
fi\e and twenty-fi*-e, slw** ridiculou* cnouKb M
ctiUMT Uic Intter; wheut if she'd take ifty ad-
vii.'e

Sir Sim. You are right, Tag ; she wotdd laLv
roe — ch f- —

Tos. Yes, •ir, as the only way to h«re both ;
for, if -ihe nuirries yo«, the' other %iH follow of
roursr.

Sir Sim. Do you hear, Jasper ?

Hut. Tis very tnic, sir Simon : from kmwHnf
no better, I have set my heart upon a y*^
toon ; aitd a vounic one 111 have. TlieiV bo* beet
tlm-t! here this afternoon.

.Sir Sim I'hree, Ja%pcr !

Bid. And tliey have been (|aarTclling abaU
mc, and one has fcetit the rrtlier two. Now, 4r
Kimun, if you'll take up tlie (x)iH|ncnir, and kick
him, as he has kirked the othera, yoti ahall bnt
mc for yi'ur reward* ami hit tiftren tbtiVBal
pounds mto the bargaiA. What snvrt mv benik
eh f [Staps Mm on the bmk.

Sir Sim. TIw wofld'u at an end \Vla«S (•

be d'lne, Javfier^

Jul. Park up, and be eoRC. Don't Mit tlM
mntrh, ^ir.

>{ir Sim. Fle*h and blond can"! bear it—
I'ln nil ov<M- auitaltfin — Uoch, hiiub ! — Am I
'liruled by a hdby, a doll ? ^^be^e'^ yo«r nuot,
\-m younc<""'-kalrice? — HI let her know Artl
ba^e woainn, and too are —

Bid. Yoo are in a fine homoor tn show yrnr
valour. Tag, fetch the ca)iTaiii thnt minute. rtMt
^ir Sininn is nartii. aud l«-t him know he it wai;-
in£ here to cut his ihronr. [Fnt Ttc.j I \oAri
liini up in mr tieiU-tiuntber III! vou rtimr.

Sir Sim. Here'* an imp of diirknc*> !— \*Tiai
woiilH I (lice, that iny 'on Bob were here v>
thri*h her sjiBrk, alute I — ravished the rm of
the fonuly.

BUmSH DRAMA.

I

I

I

Jm. I bdieTe we htd heft rctirr. lir.

Sir Sim, No, oil, I tnunt see lirr tmlly first r
and. fin Toil hfsr, JuTtpcr? il'l put lutn inn|i&uiun,
do f ou kw»dc hiiu (kiwn.

Jmt. Pnjf keep jrour temper, lir.

Enter C^nAiK T4& and Pdpp.

Cap/. [ J/iprtMirAiii^ angri/if.] WImt w the mean-
ing, >tr — 'tJunds! it u my (albur, PutT! whut
«luilll4o? \Atirte,

i*«//t [Orom'nj Aim bji the coat.] Kneel again,
Mr.

&r S'ml I am enclianted ! {St«rlitig.

Cmpl. Htcrc is an rctrcst ; I must vuud il !

Btd. What's all tliibf

Sir Sim. Ymir humble §ervant, captain Fia*-
ball. Yuu arc woUunie frmn tlte wars uublp i-np-
Min — I did not think of bciii^ ktvicked uii Uic
hnd, itr cut up altve, bv ni line n fcentlcmiin.

Cfl^. I am under <furh conrutiun, sir, that 1
1mv« aoC po«ver lu couviuce you uf my iiuiocvucc.

$tr Sml Innocence ! pretty lamb ! And »o, fir.
you hate left the recimcnt, and ihe buiiourable
ciDploynicut ut' fighting for your cititotry. to cutnv
booM and cut your fntlui'* throat? VVIiy, yyu*l I
be a c'^'ot inaii in lime. Bub !

btii. Ilia fatlar, 1 14; !

Sf Sim. Cuuw, come ! *ti» soon done — one
iitrukf! dur4 it — or if you have any i)iiiiliii3, \vl
your nutrr, there, pcrt'onii ihc opcrutioii.

Puff, Pmy, sir, don't throw such tt;m(rfution9
IB my n»y !

Capt. iloid yniir impudent tongue !

Sir Stm. Why don't you sjjoak, Mr Modesty?
wlial ctcuM' huvc VI lu for lea* inp the anny, I Miy?

C*tpt. My utTectJon to ttii» ladv.

Sir Sim. Yoor otEection, puppy !

Copt. <hir bvc, »ir, h:i» Ue<-n Ion;; and mutunl.
What accidents have biipin-uvd slucc uiy uoiui:
abmad, and her IcsviuK ihe couniry, and how ]
bnv* OKKct nnaccountnlily met you Iu>r4\ I iiiit a
tcnofrr to; btii wliativffr appeRraniTs may be, 1
■dll mm, aitd ever was, vour duiifiil «oo.

Bid. He ta\]ns like an ancd, 1'uc !

Sir Sim. DubTuI, »irrah .' — huvc tint youn\al-
led Ttwir faibcT?

{ ofii. Nu, ur.ynn have rivalled me. My claim
mail be prior to ytxir«.

Bid. Indeed, sir Simoo, he cno show tlie bc^t
liile to lite.

Jnt. Sir, »ir, tlic young pcntlemftDftpeaksuell;
lite forlutfe will not ^>o ont of the family,
Id adrift): \ou to drop your TC!tcntiii<>iit, he
itcd to your mid, nnd relinqui>h tlie lady.

Sr Sam, Ay. iiy. wiiH all ray Iwiirf — L>nk yc,
*Mv I ieiv« you Uh- 1^1 ; she':) too louch for me, I
<«BrcM ; — mid, take my word, you 11 cotcb a Tur*

tAT.

JJk/. I a«urr you, sir Siinou, I'm not the pcr-
900 yKi take me for. U I ban* UMrd vou any
vara ill» *tii« for your sou's sake, who \md roy

fromisc nnd inciiiutiotu before ynu; and tb'Hqjh
bcltem I should have madr you a most uncoiiv
fnnable wife, I*U be the lieai'daujEhtirr to ytm in
ihc world; aiiil if vou stand iti need uf a lady^
my nam 1% dt«eii|;«eeri, ard i^ the best narw—

Sir Stm. No, i»o, I tiiniik you, child ; you bnve
v» turned my »tomach to inamase, I have bo ap-
petite leftj^ — Uut witent iii this auntf Won't
she atop your proceedings think yoit i

Tag. Shu's now ut her lawyfr'is air; and if you
pleaje to ito witb the youi^ couple, and t;ive your
tpprnbatiun, I'll answer for my old liui/s con-
oent.

Hid. The captain and [, Mr

Sir Sim. C<»ue, come. Boh, vnu arc hul an en-
Mgn ; d>)ii't tm|jo<»e on the (>irl neither.

Capt. 1 had the eood fortune, tir, to [ileo-^c my
nival ftcopral hv mv heltaviour in u small tictiua
with the eneiuy, and he ^ave mr a cooipany.

Sir Sim. Itib, I wrisli you joy ! Tins i» news in-
deed ! And wliin «e cetchrate your wt-ddiuft,
win, rii dn>ik n hall-pini bumper niysell' to your
b«nefurt>>T.

Capf. And hf dotfcrves it,«ir. Such a (teneral.
hv hia exariiplc and |u«ticp, animates us to deeds
ut' i(lorv, nod insures Ud cnaquc!)t.

Sir ^m. Ki^ht, luy boy —-Come atoni;, then.

[ Going,

Puff. Halt n little, gentlemen and ladicn, if you
plcn>c. Every body licre seems well aaiislicd but

niVM:lf.

Capt. What's the matter. Puflf?

Puff. Sir, as 1 would uiakc mywif worthy of
Kucli a maitter, and the nnmc of n suUlicr, 1 can-
not put up sviih tlic lesut iii|iiry to my honour.

Sir S*m. Ueyday * what t)oun<>h«:s mv t'tcw! f

t*mtf. Here is tlie man ; eoiiie forth, caitilT. —
[ToJaspcb.] — He hrtth conlestcd this dny, that
lit ray absence he hnlh taken frcH-dom with my
luwful wife, and luid dislionuumbtC inteutirjtit
u::aiii!it my bed ; fur which I dcinaod satifac-
linn. —

Sir Sim. [Slrikiig him.] WTiai stuff i> here I
The fellow's l>ruttiS lurncu !

Puff. And cracked too, sir; but you are mf
master's fallicr, und I Kubmii.

C<tpi. Come, come. 111 seiite your pnnculin*,
and will take cake care nf you and Tnt; Iiereat-
ter, provided ymi drop ull ammowtH-s, and sbakA
btinii this moment.

Pn(K My rerenee give* way 10 my iiiTcrcst;
nnd i once again, Jafper, take lliee to my bo-
5oni,

J41S. I'm your friend agnin, Puff— But, hiirk ye
— I fear y<m nut; and if you'll hiy b-juIc your
<»to>rl titere, as far ns a broken head or a black eye,
I'm nt your service upon demand.

Tug. Yon are very ;:ood at crowini;, indeed,
Mr Jatpcr ; but let me lell you, the fool, tlnit ii
i-'i'>iio Cii'iiiEh to bra^ of a wonmn's favour", inu>l
be a duji^luU cvcr^ way, A» for jou, my

U2

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gasbick..

flear hasband, shew your manhood in a proper
place, and you need not fear these sheep-raters.

SirSinu The abigail is pleasant, I conieu — he,
be!

Bid. Tm afraid the town will be ill-natured
eoouf^ to think I have been a little coqoettish in
Iny behaviour ; but I hope, as I huve been con-
stant to the captain, I shall be excused diverting
myself with pretenders.

Ladies ! to fops and bra|!g«rU ne'er be kind ;
No charms can warm them, aud no virtues

bind:
Each lover's merit by his conduct prove ;
Who faib in honour, will be false m love.

[Krcunr,

TASTE.

mr

FOOTE.

DRAMATIS PERSON*.

VEN.

:■ quacks in painting.

Bftt-9a, y

SCENE r

^^^^ £ii<er Ci.iiMiNE./o//(»yi/ 6y the Boy,

B Cdr. LftY these cnloim in the window, by the

~ ftUet. Any visitor*, or messiigni?

Boy. 'Siqmre Krlliree \%aA been bere, and insists

opon MI'S* Riu:ict'9 ptcturcj being immcdialely

iaithrd iind cniricd home — Ai to his wife nnd

cklflrcn, be mivk, vou in»v lake y^>iir own time.

Cmr. We»-^ '

Aoy. Ilcfc hu been n mcuege too from my

hJ^ ren 1 a»n'l remember her niune, but 'lit

«ym the •lute. She Hesirca to ktMw if you will
Ic at honie about nonn.

Cmr. Fetch iL f Kiil Boy.] Was the whole of
oar profruion ronlincd to ihc mere business) of
it. the craplnymml wmild hr pleiuing as well as
(Vnfitable; but, a& matttn arc now ntaassed, lIh:
■tt iiiiw Iwt thing to be rcf^dcd. I'amitycon-
wttoout, |triv«te reoummcodations bdH tui en\v,
flatecl iDetho4l of tlatteriiit;, is to supply the do
BoKy of a Ooido, lUc cuiourins of n liubrus mid

Ifce design of b Ilaphnrl all their qualiiic-^

*aitcritif in one man, nitlioiit the tint rctinuiic,

Aldermam rcNTWFiiXCL, a clly otlt,
Calch, a ctib, kix soil,
liov, tervant foCASHiirs.

WOMEN.
Ladt Pentweazel, the atdcrman't tpoute.

&nie— j1 painting rcom.

ACT I.

nouH he nM>te«; and, wit)) these, not one oftbem
u necessary.

Eater Bay, mth the tlate.

C«T. Ijet'-* see Oh ! ladv Pentweazcl from

Blow-hlnridcr-fitreet-^^ Admit lier, bv all means;
and if I'liET or \'arntsh should ci>tiii-, I am at
home. [Kxif Boy I Lodv PcocweiucI ! hit, ha !
Niinr, hcre'ii a pnMit, lluu iivarirc is not ihe onlr

nr Inst pns^on old nk;c is subject lr>. This mi-

pcraniiunled licldiiiiiociinc^ror flncterr, like a nest
nf untltdgffl fniws for (ckwI; and with llR-m, tiK>,
gulps down every thiuii that's otlcrcd Ikt — no mat-
ter how coarse. Well, she rimll be fed ; I'll make
lirr my intrududory key to the whole bench of
aldermen.

Enter fioy RiiM Pt'pp.

Boy. Mr Puff, sir.

Car. Ijet lis be prirate. What hare yon there?

^t^ff. I'wo of tlembrnndt's ctchincj by Scrape
in May's Uuildiii£S- a pnltrv uiruir; a poor leii-
^itiiica job; howctcr n Moall game ■ you know

144

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FOOTE.

the prorerb What became of you yester-
day?

Car. I was detained by sir Pontive Bubble.
How went the pictures ? The Guido, what did'that
fetch ?

Pu^ One hundred and thirty.

Cor. Hum ! Fourguineas for the frame, three
the painting ; then, we divide just one hundred
and twenty-three.

Puf/'. Hold— not altogether so fast- "Var-
nish had two pieces for bidding against Squan-
der, and Brush five for briuging sir Tawdry
Trifle.

Car. Mighty well ! Look yc, Mr Pu£^ if
these people are eternally quartered upon us, I
declare od^ sir; they eat up the profit. There's
that damned Brush — but you'll find him out. T
have, upon his old plan, given him copies of all
the woi^ I executed upon his recommendation ;
and what was the conseaoence ? He clandestine-
ly KAd the copies, and I nave all the oiiginals in
my lumber-room.

Puff". Come, come, Cannim; you arc no
great loser by that Ah ! thut lumbcr-foom !
that lumber-room out of repair, is the best condi-
tioned estate in th^ county of Middlesex. VVhy,
now, there's your Susannah, it could not have
produced you above twenty at most ; and, by the
addition of your lumber-room, dirt, and the salu-
tary application of the aspaltham-pot, it became
a truido, worth a hundred and thirty pounds. —
Besides io all traffic of this kind, there must be
combinations. Varnish and Brush are our jack-
nls, and it is but fair they should partake of the
prey. Courage, my boy I never fear. Praise be
to folly and fashion, there are in this town dupes
enougfi to gratify the avarice of us all.

Car. Mr PufI, you are ignorant, and scurrilous,
Mid very impeniocat, Mr Puff; and Mr Pufi^ I
have a strange mind to leave you to yourselvoi,
and then see what a hand you would make of iu
Sir, if I do now and then add some tints of an-
tiquity to my pictures, 1 do it in coodesccnsiAn to
tiw foible of tbe wurid; iar^wr, age, age, sir,
it all my pictures want to render them as good
pieces as tlw masters from whom they are taken ;
and let me tell you, nr, he that took my Susan-
nah for a Guido, i^vo no mighty proofs of his
ignorance, Mr Pult

Puffi Whr* thou post-painter, thou dauber,
thou execrable white-washer, thou — have you so
Mwn foi^c tbe wretched state from witeoce I
drafted tuu ? Tbe fint Umc I set eyes on you,
wliat wns ymu* occupation, then ? Scribbling, in
scarce legible letters, Cofleo, tea, and cliocko-
late, on a bawdy-buus* window in Goodman's-
fields.

Car. The mcaimess of my original dcmon-
Kraies the greatness of luy genius.

Puff. Genius I Here is a dfig ! Prny, how
high did your genius soar i To the daubing dia-
bolical augcls for alo-houbes, dugs with chains for

tanners' yards, rounds of beef and itasled pigs
for Porridge island.

Car. Hannibal Scrmtdu did the same

Pajf. From that contemptible state itid not I
raise you to the Cat and Fiddle in Ffetbooat-lane ;
the Goose and Gndinui in Pwil's Cbtucb-yanl;
the first live things you ever drew, dog?

Car. Pox take your memory ! Well, bnt^ Mr
Puff — vou are so-

Pu^'. Nnr did 1 quit you, then : Who, simb,
rcoomuicnded vou to Pnm Stiff tbe mercer upon
Uidgate^ill ; bow came you to dmw the queen
there i {Loud knock* mt ike door.

Car. Mr Pu^ for Heaven's soke! Dear ur,
you are so warm, we dull be tAown ■

Enter BoT.

Bey. Sir, my lady Pen^^

Car. Send her to the— Show ber ap slain.
Dew Puff— —

Puff. Oh, sir ! I can be calm ; I only wmited
to let you see I bad not fofgot, though, perhaps
you may.

Car. Sir, you are very oblm>S- Well, bit
now, as all ts over, if you will retreat a uo^
time — Uidy Pentweazel siu for ber jncturc, and
she's

Puff. I have some business at neit door; I
suppose in half an hour's time

Car. i shall be at leisure. Dear Pnff-—

Puff. Dear Carmine [Exit Pvtr.

Car. Son t^ a whore 1 Boy, show dte lad^ up
stairs.

Enter Ladt Pehtweazel.

Ltidif Pent. Fine pieces \ veir l^ely piecei !
And, mdeed, all alike. Hum ! Lady Fossock—
and, ha, ha, ba ! lady Glumstead, by ail titans

ugly Pray, now, Mr Carmine, bow doyen

limners contrive to overlook the ugliness^ and
yet preserve the likeness?

Car. The art, madam, may hp coovcycd ia
two words: where nature has been severe, «f
soften; where »he has been kind^ w« ajpa*
vate.

Lad^ Pent. Very ingenus, and very kindi tfO>
[y. Well, good sir, I brii^ ?ou,a subject that
will demand the whole ot the first pact of
vuur skill ; and, if yuu are at leisure you suy
negin dircrtly.

Car Your ladyship is here a little uuralaM
to nature, and cruel to yourself; even lai^ Peak*
wcazcl's enemies (if such there be) nvst aUow
that she is a fine woman.

XodFv Pent. Oh, your servant, good ur I WI9,
I have had my day, Mr Cannine ; I hafe lied mf
day.

Car. And have still, madam. Hw only (fifle^
cuce I shall mukc between what you Vcie, sad
what you arc, will be no more than what Rnbcoe
has distinguished betwaea Mary de Medici% e
viiigin, and a regent.

1

Ziodv Ptut, &tr Cvmiiw, I tow yoa lurc a
very judmiMif pen>(iii ; I was Blmijri vnid tn be
like ibnt I'nmilr. WIk-d my piece wtu first ihmr,
(he lunorr <l>d roe ufter Vraas ite MvHi<-j»,
which, 1 Mippnae, mi^ht be aiie of Mju-y'* »ir*
ten: hui Unass niu^t dtaiifre ; Co lie (utlitif*
fur my picture ul ihis lime nl" d»v — hii, h». ha !
But my daughter. Sukey, «nu mint kmm-. i^ (usf
ntnicd la ilr DcfHity l)np|>iii& of Cnndle-
wid^vrard, wid wuulU tu>t be laid aay ; <k> it is
But w much for tiic bemity, a& die kiouUtuitc. —
H«, lia, hi% !

Cmt. Tnie, madui) : hs, ha, ha ! But if I Int
the libmcsa* I must prc<H:n'C tJie beuutv. Will
jiiur ladyship be %cntci\ f [She uii

ImJ^ fcnt. I hate iipard, ^ood sir, that rrcry
bndv has a iDore beUercraiid more wurscrer side
a/ ime jacc tfa&a ^ other — now, vihkh wiil you
cfcoow?

Car. The riKlit-stdc, utadaoi— tJic left— now,
if you plciuci the fiill^~Y«iiir ladyship's caiiii-
Cenanre imu exactly priponiniicd, thnt t mast
bsfv It ail ; nu (earure ivn Uo ^arcd.

/a'/v Frnt. Whnt yuu cuuie tn Uic fvc*. Mr
Ciniuur, let tuL> kiiuw, tiial I may call up ii
look.

Otr. Mi|ihljr well, madam ! your fnre a lltHe
■carer Co ttM ieft, oefkrer tiic— -your linid mure
ap — ahoulderi bsci— and ciM'fct i'fKWard.

Ladjf foii. iltt'M me, Mr Cnnninc, don't
jiuimI my abapo tliu Imut; far I am only in
jatopab ShaU I wud for ray lubbii-s ?

Otr. No. madnm, «ve'U stippJy that for the
preaent— Y«nir lady»hip »a* ju« onw rocntidnine
S 4MlglltCf'*~fl abe— jroiir face a littJe uiorv [o>
wjvriiine — Is the the Hole inheritor of her mo-
tfaer** benuiv ? Or — liavr von-

Lmi/y PnL That? hn,' bs, ha ! Wfiy, that U
my youngest of all. eictpt Cnleb. I tmvc had,
Mr Cannioef Uve-born mid Hirisff^cd — stay —
doo'l Jet me lie now — CJiw — twrj — itirve — four —

i*9 In short, I hiivc hnd twenty ta fine babc»

•a wrmt m>de iii shoe of Kitfanr.

Car. i/pnn my wurd, madam, your ladyship b
an admimtile meinhcr of ibe commonwenttb;^
'ui a thousand |nlies that, like diti RamaoK, we
haw iMt wime honours to rvwnrd such diuiii-
paabcd ment.

Lmdy Prnt. Ay, ny, MrCnrmiac, if brccdinc
mntt);^ ('KrtMtaiM was m much ciicotirugrd an
mmnapst doc^ aod hurw-s mc need iiul ite inn-
hafi law^ to Id in n pared of outlandibh locuiits
iDMC tan all up.

Car. I am I'jld, roadaiOf that n bill fur Aome
mdh fNirpinr i« afaiiift IQ nmit. Now, inndain, 1
■■ coaw i» ihe eycf— (Mi. that look, ibnr, thnt
\ anul AaafMir of iiutrmtiue !

ImA/ Frmt. Oh, oh. CiMid ^ir ! Ilnvr tou found
Mthaif Why, al* mv famiN by ibc mother's
*4e «■« famous for their (-<ros : 1 have n prom

'■■•■OBit die bcamte* at U'lniL^nr; slir ban n

MfT It llauiptoti-cuurt, a perdigiuus tine wo-

min — slw had but one eye, indeed, but that wu
a piercer; tJiut ouct^vegot ht:r tlircc huiibiuid»—
we were ctdleil the {^inlct-rv<d t'titiiilr. Ob, Mr
Carrainc, you need not mind these Itc^it^ in my
t'acc; they always disciiarse thmis-lvc^ about
Chri»cma!t — my true cnrnntion ts not seen in niy
iMiuiitrnnnce. That's carnation ! Here's your
de&h uiid blood.

[Sitfhiag Are arm.

Car. Dt-timtP, indeed ! finely luriK^iT, and of u
charming eolimr !

Zitt/v Ptnt. And yet it has been employed
fnoui*!! to ^noil the btst band niid arm m tbg

world Kveu l>eforc marriuce iic^er idle.

none of your ^lopjo", ^o«sipiiic, l(<in['in(!|,
rumps, like the fonvard minxe* nf the prcMin ^^
tkf,e. I WA% nlwnvH rmptoycd either iu |iaintini(
vDur bmskips, plaiioK upon the havpicoh, ma-
king pnitte, or something or oiber — .-Ul our fumi-
I y Ibid a geno; and then I sunt;* Bvrry body
said r bad a monstrous fine voice for mutic.

Car. That may be discerned by your lad}'-
ship'a tones in conversation.

Lorfy Pent. Tones ! Voa arc riRht. Mr CtP-
mine ; that wn* Mr PureeU'a wurd. Miw MJIy
Griskiu, says be (my maiden numc), you have
tones.

Car. As your loilyftbip him preservcl every
thing else so well, I dare swear yju bni^e not
Inst your voice. Will you favour me with au
air?

Lady Prnt. Oh, iar\ you arc so polite, thnt

it's iinp<i«nble Dut I have none of your new

pIny-house soncs 1 can pive y«u "nc tliat was

made on my-wtf by Liuirciice LutcUrio^ u nciglf
hour's son.

Car. What you please, madaro.

Ijidy Prat. [Sii^.J

Ah I was walkine by the Side of a riser,
1 met a ynuti)* damsel so eharmine and clcrcr;
Her voice to please it could iMt tiul>
Slie Ming hke anv niuhlincale,
i'al, tie, rol f hugb, bugh, &c.

Blem me I I have aodi a ixiugb ; but there nre
tuoes.

Car. Inimitable ones.

J^Hy Ptnt. But, Mr Carmine, you Itfflnors&re
all in;fenui} men — yim sine ?

Car. \ ballad, or so, modnm ; music ia a sit-
ter art; and it tvotild br a little unnatural not to
cullivHtc nn ai:f|uuintnncc there.

Lady Pent. Why. truly, we oucbl not to be»-
shnraeil ofoiir reiatii>as, uiilew> Uiey are puur;—
and thcD, you Imoiv- ■ ■

KhUt Boy.

Bay. Aldcrmnn Peotweniel, atid Mr Puff.

iMit^ Pent. Oh, he w»* tn call upon nie ; we
so to tlte nuctiuo. Uc^ire him to walk up — ^'
i*cntwcascl, you muse know, went thii mgnuiin

T

146

BRITISH DRAMA.

CFoote.

to meet Caleb, mv youngest boy, at the Ball and
(jatr. I'he cliilH has been two years and three
quarters at school, with Dr Jerk, near Dontas-
tt;r, and comes tu-day by the York waggon t for
it has always been my maxuro, Mr Carmine, to
give niy children learning enough ; for, as the old
saying is,

When house ami land are gone and spent,
Then learning is most excellent.

Car. Your ladyihip is quite right. Too murh
money cannot be' employed in so material ao ar-
ticle.

Liufy Pent. Nay, the cost is but small ; but
poor ten pounds a-year, for bead, back, books,
bed, and t>clly; and they say the children are
all wonderful Latiners, and come up — lack-a-
day ! they come up as fat as pigs. Oh ! here

they are ;odds me ! he's a thumper. You

see, Mr Carmine, I breed no starvelings — Come
hither, child. Mind your havmurs. Where's
your t»est bow } Turn out your toes. One would
think he had learnt to dance of his father. I am
sure my ftiniily were none >o awkward. There
was my brother George, a perfect picture of a
man : he danced, lud ! But come, all in good
time — Hold up thy head, Caleb.

JId. Prithee, sweet honey, let the child *-
loiif. His master says he comes nn wonderful
in his IcHrning; and, as to your bows and your
coniiees, never fear, he'll lenru them fast enough
at hciuie.

l-edtf Pent. Lack-a-day ! Well said — we now
— if he docs, i know who muht teach him. Well,
child, and dost remember me ? Hey? Who am
1?

Caleb. Anan ?

Lady Pent. Dost know me ?

CaUb. Yes ; vou be mother.

Ladi/ Pent, ^iay, the hoy had always a good
memory. And what hast learnt, Caleb, hey ?

Caleb. I be got into Xao^\ Fables, and can
say all At in pretenti by heart.

Lady Pent. Upon my word-~that's more than
ever thy father could.

Aid. Nay, nay, nn time has been lost; I ques-
tioned the lad as we came aloug ; I asked him
himself

Ltidi/ Pent. Well, well ; speak when you are
spoken to, Mr Alderman. How often must I —
Well, Caleb, and hadst a good deal of company
in the waggon, boy }

Caleb. U la ! rowen of company, mother. —
lliere was lord Gorman's fat cook, a blackamorc
drumming-man, two actor people, a recruiting
Serjeant, a monkey and I,

Laittf Pent. Upon mv word, a pretty parcel !

Caleb. Yes, indeed; ^ut the the fat cook

got drunk at Coventry, and su fell out at the tail
of the wnfigon ; so wc left she behind. The next
day tliescrjeantran away with the showman's wife;

the t'other two went a^r ; so only iht monkey
and I came to town together.

Car. Upon my word, the young genttenwB
gives a good account of bis traveli !

Lady Pent. Ay, ay, Mr Carmine, he's aU over
the blood of the Griskins. I warrant the child
will make his way. Go, Caleb, go and look at
them pretty paintings — Now, Mr Canaine, let
us see if my goodman can find me oat.

Aid. lack-a-day ! Well, I profess th^ are all
so handsome, that I am putzled to know wlucfa n
thine, chuck.

Piiff". J am surprized at your want of diacem-
ment, Mr Alderman; but the posaesaiOD of a
jewel destroys its value with the wearer: now, to
me, it seems impossible to err ; and tbcaq^ Mr
Carmine is generally successful, Jn thk instanoe
he is particularly hapj». Where can jaa meet
with that mixture of nre and softnesa, bat in the
eyes of lady Pentweazel i

Lady Pent. Oh, sir !

Pvjl. That clearness and delicacy of cpm|4ex-
ioD, with that flow of ruddiness and beahb i

Ladtf Pent. Sir ! Sir ! Sir !

Pvjf. That fall of shoulders, turn of nedt, aefr-
on head, full chest, taper waist, plump

Lady Pent. Spare me, sweet sir ! Yon sec, Mr
Pentweazel, other people can find out my dianns,
though you overlook them — Well, 1 profess, sir,
you are a gentleman of great discernment : and,
if business should bring you into the city — fnr>
alas ! what pleasure can bring a man of your le-
6ned taste there ?

Puff. Ob, madam !

Lady Pent. I say, sir, if sudi an aocsdeot
should happen, and Blowbladder-street hasaoj
charms —

Pii(jr. Oh! Madam! Madam! Madam! Ma-
dam !

Lady Pent. It is not impomble bat we may
receive you, though not equal to your meiiti —

Puff. Madam!

Lady Pent. Yet in sudi a manner aa to Aem
our sense of them. Sir, Fm your very obadi-
enL

Pvff". Your ladyi^ip's most..

Lady Pent. Not a step.

Pufi. Madam

Lady Pent. Sir — Mr Alderman, yon bow ta
the gentleman. The very finest-^— |

Puff Madam !

Lady Pent. Sir, your most obedient

Pu(/'. Your devoted.

[Exeunt AU. md Wy*.

Car. Ha, ha! Well said. Puff! What a cala-
mity hast thou drawn upon the knight ! Thn
hast so tickled the vanity of the harndaI^ tUt
the poor helpmate will experience a doaUe po^
(ion of her contempt.

Pa^ff. Rot them 1 But to our buaineaa. TW
auction is about beginning; and I have pniniidl

I

lo meet Mr Dmvid Dasledorpe, air Posmre Bub-
ble, and lord Uupc, to examine thr pictures ond
fit oo tbuae fat which ll»cy arc Iw Lid — but simre,
^r have scukd the (>erniaD pliui ; 9U VaruUb ur
Bnub muM attend iheiii.

Car. Oh ! By nil mcan^ poKiie ihaL Yoii
have uu conceptiim hnw d«itr tlie t'oreii^n nrrt-Di
IB to your true vtrlunsn; it amtnuiice^ i»sU,
knijfflpit^, vemciiy, mid in »h»rt ei'crv lliinjj —
But caii you emiu)j;h diHt*ui>« tlip turn of voiir
face, aixl tone uf your vujcc ? A diaciivtry ut' Mr
Puff, lit Mvnhrer Groningcii, blasts us at once.

' ■ f feiir nie. I wtcli you may hnrc

wju ' Hi lite part of Cutitt;.

Cur. I'ho ! Miiie'i) a iritlc. A oinii must have
very ^ndf:r abilities indeed, who can't, IVir fen
uinmtmt imitate a lun^uu^c iuid dcpurtiucut tliat
he hw been witocss lu tor ten years.

P»(K' But YOti fouu £t-t thoir tunes, thrir
loocs; 'tis easy enuuitb, Citme, liuiid ti]> litn-
rt»t (hcrv Corrv^o : an ininiiinblc ijiccc. (ct-ttik-
acn and InHit-K- iUl- vrry bL-^i worit of the hr^i
itWMrr ; Mib'it-ct atireeuble. Iii^lily (iiii&bcd, iiml
•ell pre*«m'(l : a M.'at for llic iivlics; hand it tu
Mr Poiiuve : ai^oin*: for tifty : npcnk, or it i^ pH
iag f<uir titty; joy i<> ymir ladyiktiip : conic, the
next. But rctneuiber, let yuur bob bo bu^hy,
•nd jiour bow low.

Car. Roouch. rnoii«h; we are ttrangera to
each oilier, you know.

Puff. Absuluir. Oh! but what pictures of
yfMirs urc in the sale ?

Car. Tltcre's my holy iainily. by Kuphael : the
inRrrtait*' inCaiiii, by Iteuben Kuiiee ; roiii Jack-
S'>n's Tenicr*: nod for bu».t<, Taylur'* head with-
• itil a iHi^e from llercnlaiiftitn.

Ptiff. Arc lltoaiiiiqiic ^ciils comohome?

Ciir. So; but titey uiU be tinisbcd '.<y next
Mcck.

/*«/)'. You niu«t take aire of Xo?ice'« collec-
tion of inedals — he'll want ihetu by thu end of
lite iiuHith.

Ctir. The coins of the iir»i emperors ape mivt
^let-pine in roppprnti; and I huvc an Ollm, n
C'olbu, It Nero, iiiiii two Dnituciim^, reeking fi-oiti
the ditiii;hilL The rest nc can h>ivc l'n>iu Dr
Muiniov ; a ncver-fuiling chap, you know.

Puj): Arluu ! [Rrit.

Car. Vinirs. sir — a trouhlcwinr felloi*, this —
conlouiidrd inrmury — iiwinl, tlioiith — roniidB u(
beef and rousted pijis! — Musi <^rt nd of biiii —
ay; hiitwlirn? Why, wliin — ^«h^n I hnve ^niiH
cd my point. But h'tw, huiir then? Olt, then it
does not signify twopeuoe. [Etit.

I

SCENE t— Auction rtxm.

ACT IL

Knter Lord Di;pt, Bt7bDte,$Qtf*:(i)Ei, )$r.

JDUer Pcrr, a$ Moxsiecr BARon oc Gromjn*
ocKtCAKiiistc a*C*Kio, and Bhusu.

Cor. Come, bustle, bustle. Btu^h, vou intro-
iuat Puff Vafff how iire you in your Ciennan ?

Puff'. I ouiiio ftpeiik for Knelaiidt, but 1 citii
wmk uDdenatnd rery nuKbiily. Will that do?

Bruxk. To a hair. Kemember you iire come
iMter CO porchase pictured lor the elector of Ba-
vsria. Cannine, you muM clap lord Dope's coat
of arms on that half-iro£;th of Km-imuH. 1 Ikivp
aoltl il htm »» his ^rvut-^raodl'athcr'a Uiird bro-
ther lor fifty f;uincufl.

CWr. It ihalt tK- done — Be it my province to
UKahliali the boron's rrputatiua as a coiutuissour.
Brwii bu seen vou urtroad at the court of the
rdi|piinv prinee of Ulanriii.

Fwf)' Yvt; I was da bosineai mightily for
^rirtcc RlantiPf

OruMk. Y<nir piKtniiu pt first. Carmine. No-
vice, sir Pitiiiive Uul'ljlc, Jack .Squander, lunl
Dttpr* Bod Murdciiii l^znru» lli« Je»'-liriil,(T.
lane appotntcd me ui ekiuninc with iIiliu tlie
, la«irirv -pieces. Which are muat likely to stick r

IW. Here's a lint.

. Ilutli ! hide tttc Krasmus; I hear ilic
' on iJie Atair<».

ijnas. And re-cnteri ano/i.

lAtnt Dupe. Mr Brush, t am your devoted scr-
*iiiit. You have proi'ured my Biiccsror?

HrugJi. It ih in oiy (MMwintun, toy lord ; and I
have the honour to uv>ure your lordihip that Uic
family featuri's are \-ery di-so-nnbk*; and, allow*
iiis for tlie ditfcreiice of dress, there's a strong
likcncsi between tou und your predecessor.

Lord Dupf. sir, you huve olilitfed me. All
thc«e you liave marked in the catalogue are ori*
finals r

Bntih. L'odoubtod. But, my lord, yon need
not depend solely on my judcm''nt : here's Myn-
heer baron de Grooiiisen, uho it come hitlKr to
«urvev, liiid purchusc fur the L-!<>ct'ir uf Ijitvartn ;
.in iiKJi^piiturile rrjnnoivcnr ■ hiN bidding wilt be
a directiiio for your htnlthip. Tut a thousund
pities tinit any of these ma-iers should quit Eiig-
Intid. They were condut-rd hii'icr at an iui-
mt-nsc espetice ; and if lliey imw Ica^c us itliat
Mill it be but a public decluratitio, that all tii<iie
ind liberal knowledge is vunuhed from am<HigsC

Ok?

Litrd Dmpt. Sir. leave the support of the ft»-
lioiml credit to my cure. Could you introduce
me to .Mynheer? Oocs he speuk EnuIiUtf

Bi'inh. Not ihieiitly ; hoi^iiuiobeiinHer«t'K)<L

Myiihif^r, lord Dupe the p^iruo of nri*, the

I'etromus lor liute, and for w«ll-iinied j;fiii-ra»iiy

14»

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FOOTC.

the Leo — and the Afxcenas of the present age,
desirod to know yuu.

Puff"- Sir, you "honour me very mightily. I was
hetir oF lord Ou[>es in liullnndt, I was tell he
was one delatant^ one curieuse, one pricieuse of
his country.

Ijtrd Dupe. The Dutrh are an obliginf^ civ'i-
lizcd, viell-hicd liiod of people. But pray, sir,
what ticca'aiuas us the honour of a visit from
you?

Puffi I was come to bid for paints for de eleo>
tor of Btivaria.

tard Dupe. Are there any here that deserve
your Qttcotiun ?

Pvff. O, dare are (jood pieces ; but dare is
onp [' likes niigtitily ; de off^ky, and home track
is 6ne, and de maister is in it.

Lord Dupe. What is the subject ?

Puff'. Dat I know not ; vat I miudf, rat you
call de draws and de colours.

Lord Duft. Mr Canto, what is the subject }

Cor. It is, my lord, St Anthony of Padua ex-
nrcAing the devil out of a ram-cat : it lias a com-
panion somewhere— oh, here ! which is the same
saint in a wilderness, reading his breviary by the
light of n glow-w irm.

Brush. Invaluable pictures both ! And will
match your lordsliip's corregio in the saloon.

Lord Dupe. I'll have them. What pictures
are those, Mr Canto?

Car. Toey are not in the sate; but I fancy I
could |)rur«re thcni for your lordship.

Lord Dupe. This I presume, ini^ht have been
a lundskip; hut the water, and the men, and the
trees, and the dogs, and the ducks, and the pigs,
tliev are nil obliterated, all gone.

lirush. An indisputable mark of its antiquity ;
ibi \-cry merit ; besides, a tittle vutiish will fetch
the fig'ures again.

Ijn-d Dupe. Set it down for me The next.

Car. That is a Moses in the bulrushes. 1 he
blended joy and grief in the figure of the nster
in the corner, the distriiss and anxiety of the
mother-here, and the beauty and benevolence of
Pharaoh's daufihter, are circumstauces happily hn-
i^ined, sod boldly expressed.

Bru$h. Leck-B-day 1 'tis but a modem per-
formance ; the master is alive, and an Euglish-
nian.

Lord Dupe. Oh, tlien I would not give it
bouse room.

PuO- Here is a pretty piece I find stick up
berc in de comer : 1 was see in Hollandc, at
Loo, apiece mii^hty like; there was little mices,
that was nibble, nibble, nibble, upon vat you
call frumage, and little shurels all vit brush tail*
Tan up de tree^; and there was great things vat
y«u call — pstia, that have long hearts, and cr\

Brv$h. What! goats?

Pa^; Ay, dat was de name.

X^d Dup€. I should thiitk, by the cheese end

the goats, Mynheer, yuars mu a WdsK piece, in*
stead of a Dutch.

I'v/. Ah, 'twas good piece. I wiih te tny
heart lord Dupes was have that piec&

Enter Novice.

Not. Where's Mr Brush ? My dear Bmsfa, an
I too late ?

Brush. In pretty good time.

2sov. May i loiie my Otho, or be tumbled
from my phaeton the first time I jchop my mv-
rels, if I have not made more haste than a
young surgeon to his first labour ! But the lots*
the lots, oiy dear Brush, what are tbey? I'm
upon the rack of impatience till { see the'in, and
iu a fever of desire till I possess them.

Brush. Mr Canto, the gentleman would be
glad to see the bmits, medals, and predoos relief
of Greece and ancient Rome.

Car. Perhaps, sir, we may f<bow htm some-
thing of greater antiquity — Bring tliem forward

I'he first lot coDMsts of a hand without ■■

arm, the first joint of the forefinger gone, sofK
posed to be a limb of t)ic Apollo Delphoa
The second half a foot, with the loea entire, of

the Juno Dicina The third, the Caduceus of

the Mercurius Infernalis ^The fourth, the

half of a tee of the infant llerculeS' ■ All
indisputable antiques, and of the Memphiiu
marble.

PuXf. Let me see Juno's half-foot. All die
toes entire ?

Car. AH.

Puff. Here is a little swelt by this toe, dat
looks bad proportion.

Ail. Hey, bey !

Put): What's dat ?

Cor That ! Psha ! that ! Why, that's only a
com.

AiL Oh!

Puff. Com f dat was extreme it^anl ; dat it
fine ; d« maister is in it.

Alt. Very fine; invaluable!

Puff: Where is dc llcrtules' calf? Upon mf
word 'tis a very lar^ee calf; hig, bi^ b^ all de
way up, all de way down.

Lord Dupe. I believe tins Hercules was aa
Irisliman.

Nov. But where are your busts ? Her^ htn,
gentlemen, liere's a curiosity ! a raedal of
Oriuna; got for mc by doctor Mnmmy; tbeoelf
one in the visible world; there may be ooaie
under ground.

Lord Dtfte. Fine indeed ! M'itl yon pervit
me to ta>re it ! It has the relish. \JU trntt.

Nov. Hie relisti ! Zouks, it cost me a hoodrcd
guineas.

Pvjf. By gar, it is a dear bit, thmq^i.

Nov So yuu may think ; but three times lbs
money should not pureliasc it.

Lord Dupe. Pray, sir, whose bust is it ibit
dignifies this coin?

X

FOOTE.]

BRITISH ORAM^V.

140

I

I

I

I

Nov Th* tmpms Oriooa, mr lurd.

Lard Itupc^ And wlxf, »ir, might iihc be f I
ikoo'i reooUect to have bcmrd of the lady be-
fore.

JVim. She, tny lord? Oh, »hn inu a. bind m'
«h<ii-(J'vc^ciill-(>ni — n sort of • qucm. or wife, or
•omeilunc or other tu imiiiuhodv thnt hveil a
4taiiiiipi1 while Hf>>i — Miunmr idIcI me tlie whole
Worv ; but, befufc gad, I've I'or^ttit iL But cuuir,
the bu»ti.

C«r. Bring fV>rward iHe IkwI from Hcrculoiie-
am. Now, itt-nrlcmcn, here 19 h jewel.

jill. At, ay. In'* w«.

C'«r. ' I'u not etitiri% thoui^h.

A«r. Ski iiuii*h the bctlvr.

CW. RifEht, 6ir — t))c vcrv mutiUtioiu of thi^
|iiece ore worth all thu iimst pt^rffct pcrtonniiii-
cca uf miKiera aitisu.— Now, gcntJemcu, here'^u
Caurli^on« for yitur laue *

JU. (Srrat ! threat iiid(«H \

Hvv. Great! amiuiii^l divine! Oh, lot me
emtiiiu-e rhc drar diivmeinbervd bust ! A tittle
fart)wr oS. I'm mvi>lH>d ! I'm tmuspiried !
What ail nttitude! Uiit then tlie locki ! How 1
mt^iTT the ^implicitv iif the nncionfs ! How ui>-
fike the iiTc-M.-nt, (tijLsi"'*, rro)i-<-ttr(^l puppets '
}{««• ericcrullv tJiev (all ull adunn thu cheek !

Ml rUornt ai.it in firiivc, mid Who tlie de«d

d>i yu ttiitik It i\ Uni^h^ U it a roan, ur a mo-
mma t

Car. Tbe ctmriotH^eun differ. Some will have
it lu brtl>e Jtipitt-rToiiunior Ptitdias andntherH
the X'eiitift of PNph<» fmm Praxitclcn : bur I
don't think, it fierce enough lor the lirst, nor
kuMlwinir ptinnch for the last.

AVp. Vm, handvime enniq^.

^/L \'tfy hnudsotne; haddsnuie efMM]|!b.

Cvr. Not quite — therefore I am inrlined to

jam with Siiritor Julia de I'ampedillu, wlio, iu a

trci(.u«e dedicated to the tii>-^of the two Si'tltcfc,

ailU it the SpHijii^ uf ihc^ I'^^iitinii*; imH anp-

Ei It 10 have been iabni-;)retl about elctt-n
red niHl three ^ean before the Mouiic ac-
nutit of tlie centioii.

A'«p. I'roditiaiis • and ( dure swear true.

AiJ. <(h ! true, icry Uue.

PifY, Vaitn my Iwinour, 'tis a I'ery fine baat;
hw whrie IS de nine f

Nttp. The mt^e; wlwt eflfc I f«r ihe iK»e'
Where 1* de hum.' ? W liy, «>ir. if it tutd a no?<', I
•<u«ld titiC ei»p »iif>riH'e ft*i' it — How the devil
•hoald wi.' di»iiiii:)ii^h tite works of the ancirnls
if I her i»efe perfen ? — X'**' n(»e indeed ! Win,
I Smi nmmroni now, but, b;irni>g iIk* ito»c, Rou-

Uliac cxMild rui H.t ctf»(t A head e^crv whit

Bntth» «rh«i t<t |hi9 iiiiin with hi« imv ? I'he ftl-
t>w »tKMihl know »)iiK-tUmg of something Vto, for
Iw ^^e«kft broLtii Kot*li4li.

BfMtk. It i» M^nticer Oroningeis a great coa-
•o«»«#ar in p^niuic.

Aor. Tti^t inuy be; but as to sculptare, I am
ftu vcnr buniUe arrvaut. A ama aiuA kiuin

dainnod little of statavjr, tiiat dtilikes ■ but for
wunl of a nuM!.

Car. Hinht, sir— The oose itself, wtlli«i<it the

hitiul, nay, in luiotlivr's posiCMion, would l>e un

ciituiL' (iui here aic behiiKi, eentleincn binI

tadie^, an t^^ueurian stiiue of Marco* Aoreliii*
wiLhnut tlip iKirsr, and a eomplciL- htatue ol' ih«
cuipcror Trajan, with only tlic head nnd \e^%
nii^sine; btrfh fnitu Ucceuluncuiu — ^'I'hii wajT}
^eiiiU-'inen and ludies.

Enter Lady PEMwraxrt, Aldlimxs, and

C'ALtB.

Jjidy Pent. Now, Mr HentweaTeU let us hare
nooe of your Blow bladder breeilins. itcmeinbar
yuii ur« ;it (ht- cuun-rnd of tbe towo. This ia a
ffuuliiy-auctiuD.

Atel. W liere of coone nnchiog ii sold that is
uwful — 1 ain luutred, iweet honi-y.

iMdif Pent, L'ulrb, keep Ih hind, and do«t be
cneddling. Sir [To Uaufttt.

Itrinn. Vuiir pleiisurp, madam *

Ladt/ Pent. I should be (;lnd you would infora
nic It then are any lots of very fine old china. 1
lind tl>e quality lue itruwn iuHnitily fond of it ; and
1 ain williiiK lu »huw tbe world thjit we in the
city have ta^te.

iJrtuA. Tib a laudable resolution, madam;
and 1 oareaay, Mr l.'eiitoain supply — UlesfVne !
wliat'a that f (C'ALCb tkraat doitn s cHtao'tluk.

Lads ^"' l^*t ^^> I suppose ! Well, if tli«
luiMrtiicrnus brat hoii uot liroke a — and look bow
he ntuiidft ! — 8irrah, sirrah, did [ nut bid vou nut
meddle — Luave wckinjc your rhumbs. What, I
ftuppObC you If^arnt lliat trid( uf your frieod tlie
uiookey in the wa^on ?

Ca/eA. Indeed I did not go to do it, notber.

Alii. Prith(«, sweet honey, don't be 10 pumon-
ntc. VV bat's done can't be undone. I'hc loftb la
not fireat ; rontc, come.

Prutk. Mr Aldenuan i» in the riiihl. Tbe af-
fuir u a iriBc; but a twcniy punicti job.

Ltui^ Pent. Twenty euineo* ! You sbouM
have twenty of my teeth as

Car. You mean il you bad tliWM- ■■ Your
Indii'sliip does not know the value of that piece of
rhiiin. It )» tIte riiiilit old .Ih|Kui gf tbe pea-itreea
kiutl. Ijidy MmMlariu oUurd nie, il 1 ouul4
lUuTdi tL, tijurscore (:(iiut-»& for tlte pair.

Larti liupt. A (mm piecL-, indticd !

/ utf. ' Vis » er line !

i'alrb. Indeed, fallier, f did aot break it' - ■
Twaa cracked in the middle, and bo fell a-Cwa
IU my huud.

iJitii/ Ptnt. Wltol ! wa5 it cracked?

i'alfb. Ve», indeed, mother.

i^^V i'**n/. There, pcntleinen !

Jjord Dujtr. Madan^ I would willin^jly wt yoa
ri|cht in this aAiir : vuu don't wciu acfuaiiitrd
with these kind of lhin2.6; thcr<-forp, I Imve tl»e
honour to tt'U you, thnt the crark m ihc midille
ia a mark of it> Butii|Uity, imd CRlauioc* its raUie ;

190

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FOOTH.

and these genlteihCQ arc, I dare say, uf Lhu saiae
opintao.

AU. Oh, eotircly.

Zifu/y Pent. You are all of a f^ne> I think. A
bruLeit piece ofchiua beucr than m whole: oite !

Lord Dupe. Madam, I never dispute with a
lady; but this Kt^ntlenian has tK»ie ; he is a fu-
reipicr, and su uui't Ik: Uiuught prejudiced; re-
fer it tu biin : the day grows luie, aod 1 nimt die
auction ui U^in.

AU. Sweet honey, leave it to die gcutleman.

Laiiy Pent. Well, Mr.

Pujf. Madum, I love to serve He lady- Tia a
TCr fine piece of clima. I was !>ec sucti anot>icr
pteoe sell at Amsterdam for n hundred ducat* —
*J"i9 ver well worth twenty ^uiuea.

CtiUli. iMother ! — father ! never stir if that
gentleman Iteii't the t«me that we sec'd at the
IHuatiii|;-ioan's, that was »o civil to motlier; only
DC has sot a black wig on, aud speaks outiaiidtah.
m be far-ciioupli if it en't a May-^me f

Ladi/ Pent, llcy ! let tne (tit but the boy's iu
Ibe nsttt My dear, as I'm alive, Mr Puti', timt
nc saw at the liinoer's. I tutd you be was a
more cleverer luaii titan I ever saw. Caleb is
right ; some matter of merriment, I warrant.

PyXt'. I wihh it was. [JiiJ«r.] I no understand.

Cm'. Si, Mr Puff, you are cau-^lit. [J»it/e.

Lord Dupe. Thi'^ is a most uofortunaie old

lady nlfldam, you are bi?rc under another

mistake. 'Hiis ib Myuheer Barun ile

Ladtf Pent. Mynheer Figs-cad. Can't I be-
lieve my own eyes? What! do you tliink be-
cause we live in the city wc can't »eef

Nov. Fire roe, my lord, there may be more in
this than nc can ^e%. Its worth exauiinini;
into. Couic, sir, if you urc Mynheer, who the
devil knows you f

Pifff". I was know Mr Canto miKbtilr.

Nvv. Mr Canto, du yuu know this baron?

Citr. I see the dug will \te detected, and now
is my time to be even witli him for bis rounds of
beef aod rooi-tutfr pi^ii. [Aude.] I can't say I ever
i«w the )!eutlcuiiuj bufure.

Nor. Oh, oh !

Zdtrd Dupe, 'flic fellow in an inipo«tnr ; a pal-
Mble citeat. Sir, I think you cauie from tliif
lUiine — prav, how should you like walLint; into
theTbaniei?

Nov. Or what think you, my lord i 'I'lie rasmt
complained hut now thnt the bust wnnicd n noM.*
— sDppo&e we vrere tu supply tlie dcticicucy with
bisf

Lord Dupe, But justice, Mr Novice.

Cor. Great rascal, nidci^, ficntleiocn ! — If
rogues uf this stamp i^et unce a fouling in Uicmt
asaeaiblics, adieu lo all monit honesty- I ihink
an extiiupic should be mailc of him — Hut, were
I lo adMM.-, he is a properer subject for the rab-
ble to handle than liic present rumpany.

AIL Awar with liim !

Ph{^ Ua'aib «S If I must suffer, it shall

not be sinj^ly. Here is the iibsecnioas Mr Brush,
and the very courtly Mr Canto, shall be tlR purt-
ners of my distress. Kdow, then, we are all
n^u<-«, if the taking advantage of the abturdilie»
aud fiillics of tuaukind can be called rueuerj.
I own 1 hare been a cheat, aud I glory in ic.
Hut what pumt wdl you virtauti, you conirai*-
ii-un, gain by the deteetiun i \MH uoi die pul^
lialiin^ ofuur criiDCS trumpet forth your fully f

Lord Diipr. Malrhk'» impudence \

Pulf. My tuibtc lord bene, the diiletancu the
L'uricii, the precieu of tliia nalioii ! wliat infinite
clury will bf &r(|ulre from this story, tluii the
Leo, th4- Maxenas, the Poironius, notwitltstaitd-
iug his f xquisile lasite, hii^i lie«>n drawn in lu pur-
ch3-M>, at au iimucuse expcocc, a cart-luad of —
rubbish !

Lord Dupe. Gentlemen and ladte« — 1 have
the honour tu take my leave.

Puff'. Your lordship's most obcdicot^Wtien
shall 1 send you your Corrcpo, your St Anthutiy
of Pndua, your Ram Cat, my sixid lord f

IjordDupe. Uascfll ! f£ri< Lobd Dl-ps.

Nuv. This won't do, sir — I'tiou^ my lurd has
nut spirit t-iiuugh, diuiin ine if I rjuit yini !

PufJ. Wlmt, my apriahtly squire ! Pray fnvour
me with a siifht of vour Oriuna — It has the re*
lish: an iiidispuuihlc untK|uc ; lictag a Bristol
t'urthiuf;, coined by n soap-lMiilor to pay hi»_)iiur-
iiL'vmen in the scarcity of cash, and purchued
for tH-o|)etico of a travelling tiukcr by, >ir, your
humble :>erv'ant, Timothy \'a&. lla, ha, ba !

Utrv. .Mjr Oriuna a Bristol farthing!

Puiy. Most assuredly.

Nov- I'll be reveufied. [Gtv^r-

PuXf. Stay, stay, and lake your bim, my »»e*t
squire; your Serapis- Two bends they say, are
better tbnii one ; hiy them toKctlier. But die
locks ! buw gracefully they fall all aduwo ! w
decent, and so— ba, ha, Ita!

A'lir. Cotifouml you !

Ptt(f. Why. sir, if it had ■ nose. T wonlri aot
jtive siipence for it — Pray, how many years b»»
forp ilic creation uaa it fabricated, wiuire?

Nov. I shall live to see yua bungetl, you Atif. !

Pvlf. Nay, but, sqwire; ha, ha, ha.' Now.

madimi, lo vour UHysliip I t^me; to whose di»-
cernmtiit, aided by the sagacity a£ yoursMlCV
leb, 1 owe mv discoverv,

Atd. Look vnu, don't tlunk to abuse my hdy.
I am one of thi'

Ptijy. Quorum — I know it, Mr Atdcntuui; bat
I mean to serve your wor^iip, hy buaifab^ •
httle the vanity of yotir wife.

Ijadg Pent. Come alone, chuck. Ill noc st^
toliear ihe rascaliiy of tlw fellow.

Pt'Xf- Oh, my I.Lily IVutwea/cl, rorreci tli^
seventy uf thai frown, lest you sltuiitd Im^
more uf the Medusa than iIki Medicis in yooC
face.

I«dy Pent. Saucy jackaoapea !

FOOTE.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

151

' Pmff. What, tbea ? I have quite lost my dtr
acquaiDtaoce } whv, Tve promised all m; frieDcfs
tickets for 1117 lord nuyor^s ball through jour
ladnhip'i interest

Lmdm Pent. My interest, indeed, for sudi a —
Pi^". If Mowbladder-street has any charms-
Sir — Madam — not a step — The finest g;eDtteman !
ha, ha, ba !_^Aud wMt caq jqu say for youi^
■elf, yoD cowardly, ilMooking rascal? [ToCar-
MiBE.] Desert your friend at the first pinch—

rmr uIt— your partner ! No apology, sir —
ban dooe with yoa. From porer^ and ihame

T took yon, to that I restore you. Your crima
he your punishment [Turning to the audienee,'\
Could I be as secure from the censure of this
assembly, as T am safe from the resenonent of
Dupe, Norice, Squander, from the allurii^ baits
of my amorous dty lady, and the dangerous comr
bination of my fala^ friend, I should be happy.

Tis from yoor sentence I expect my fate;
Your vmce alone my tiiumidi can complete.

[Eremtt cmna:

I

TUB

ENGLISHMAN IN PARIS.

IT

FOOTS.

DRAMATIS PERSONS,

MEN.

BvcK, the Englishman in Parit,
Sib Jobn Bucb, h'u father.
Subtle, an EnglUhman, tettled in Paris, living
by the fatties t^hU countryaun.

Classic, tutor to Buck.
Mabquis.

WOMEX.

Mbs Scbtle, m/e to Sobtle,

LcciMDA^ her ward.
Scene-^Paris.

ACT I.

SCENE T.
Enter Mb Subtle and Classic.

Mr Sub, Well, well, that may be ; bat still
I say, that a FrenchmaD

Clast. Is a fop ; it is their national disease ;
not oDe of the <}uaUt>es for whit^ you cetebrate
them, but owes its origin to a foible ; th^r taste
is trifling, their gaiety grimace, and their polite-
ness pride.

Mr Sub. Hey-day! Why, what the deuce
faring you to Paris then ?

Ciau. A debt to friendship; not but I think
a fthurt residence here a very necessary part in
every man of fashion's education.

Mr Sub. Where's the use?

Ctau. In giving theiu a true relish for their
own domestic happiness; a proper veneration
for their national bbertles ; a contempt for adula-
tion ; and an honour for the eitenJed generous
commerce of their counvry.

Mr Sub. Why, there, indeed, you have the

preference, Mr Classic : the traders here are •
»iarp-set, cozening people ; foreigners are their
food ; civilities with a — ay, ay ! a co^ee for*
crown, and a sbrus for a shilling ; dcvihsh 6tu,
Mr Classic, dcvilisn dear !

Clast, To avoid their exactiooi, we m, Hr
Subtle, recommended to your prauction.

Mr Sub. Ay, and wisely they <hd who leco*-
mended you -. Buy nothii^ but oa mine or mj
lady's recommeoflation, and you are safe. Bitf
where was your charge i Where was Blr Bwi
last night f My lady made a par^f at cards oa
purpose for him, and my ward Lucindalsmiglilily
taken with him ; she longs to see hitn again.

Clou. T am afraid with the same set us fadMT
sent him hither to avoid ; but we must cnden*
vour to inspire him with a taste for the gpUkotrwl
of this court, and his passion for the lamtir amais*
ments of ours will diminish of course.

Mr Sub. All the fmtemity of mco-makenaie

I for that purpose withcmt; taylors, pemM|uief%
hatters, hosiers is not that Mr Ba^'s Enf
lish servant ?

FOOTE .]

BRITISH DRAMA.

153

I

Eater Rogf.r,

Oh f ay, hunen Roger. So, tltc old
Bcferi whiu umc did your mftftier come
bone?

Rog. Between fiv* anri *ix, nummctletl tn n
jellv": here hk» heen two of hi» old conicidM fi>l-
lAwnl an aliTiuly; I count we ihatl ha' ihft whoK-
pati in a se'^tt-niirlii.

C/of. Comndcs? ^Uni

Bog. Dick l>ayliE;lir, and Boh BrfadliaJtct,
Ac bruiser*; ihfy nil wnu tn the show tojcilior,
where ihfv lisd the- detil to pa; ; Iwlikr rlicv liiid
been sent to Hndewcll, hadn't n greul genilcmnu
in a blae stnng come by nn<l rclcawd them. — 1
hemrnuLMer'&bctl; do. \in»tcrniiwtc,8trpnp»mJ
talk to tin ; he's oow sober, and tony hcaikcn to

C/ai. I attend him. Mr Subtle, yan won'r
be out of the wBv? [Exit.

Mr Smb. I «hull talk n little with the tnules-
mm. A smokv fellow ihii Classic ; but if l.u-
cindm. pbvs her canis well, wc Niivc not much to
ft&r fioiii (hut qiinrtrr r c<»nrtiidictioii seems lo
bf the life find soul of TtmiijI Buck. — A tolcnblc
cipedient thi.«, ifit ^ucceed^. Fleece the voun-
ker! — P»hnl timt'ft a thin;; of omr^*! ! — but bj
Im inearev to eet rid of Lucinda, mid aecureljr
^^Boi?k«t l»cr pntrimottj ; ay ! thnt indeed

^Hh Enter Mrs Subtle.

Ob! wife! Have iron opened the plot? Does the
pri come into it greedily, hey ?

Mrs Stttt. A little M|ueaniish at first ; but I
hmm opened her eyey. Never fenr, niy dpar;
•ooocr or Ulcr, wutneii will ultond to tht-ir inCr»

no.

Mr Snb. Their interctH nr, thnt'stnio; but
GOttBdcr, my dear, how dtHjiEy uur r>wn interest
il concrmed, and let that f|iiiclicn your 7eal.

Mn Suh. D'ye think I am blind ^ tint the i^rl
llM )C'*t iudt whimtieal notions of honour, hiiiI i>i
withal M ciccent and modest — 1 wonder where
the dcocc ahe got it ; [ nm sure il was not in mv
bOMC.

Mr SmA. IIow does she like Buck's pcnon ?

Jfrf Sab. Well enoach. But prilbrc, husband,
lc*re her to my manaf^'Oicnt, and coivsidrr wc
' tan more irons in th*.- fire than one. Here i^ tlic
Marqnts tie Solcil to meet mn^iamc de FnrJc li>-
■l^b^— And where to put tlx-in, unlcM wc cnn
!■■« Bock's apaitmcfit — Oh! by the by, hut
cnwBt Cos lent tou your ^re out of Mr Punt-
■dPl Imap fr-'thunday }

Jfr 5bfc I intend calling on hira tliis mom-

Mri Smb. Don't fail; he's a slippery chap, you

I

Mr Sub. There's no fear. Well, but otir pretty
MMyuBMn lays aboat her laadsouicly, na ! —
ll^urta t^ huodreds ! huoi !

Mr* Sub. Ay ! that's a noble prize, if we cotild

Vol. in.

but matiaKu her; but she's so indiscreet, that
she'll he blown bel'ure ne have made lialf ouf
market. I am thi« moruinii; to give iiudicnce,.
on her score, to two counts and n foreign miuK
st^r.

Mr Sub. Then strike whilst live iron's hot !
but they'll be here before I cnn talk to my people;
send them in, pntfaee. {Erit MkA Subtle.

Enter Traitcsmeit.
So, gentlemen. Oh ! hush ! wc are internipte^l:
If tlicy ask for your bills, jou luvc \c(i thciu at
home.

Enter BtrcK, Ci.&ssrc, antt Rockr.

Bttck. Ecod, I don't ktiow Imw it tended, but
I remember how it begun. Oh ! Mnwcr .Subtle,
ttow du'st, ifld buck, lit^y? Give's lliv pnw * And
little Lucv, how fares it witJi siiij? fintu !

Mr Sub. Wlint has liceii ihe mutter, squire?
Your face seems n little in deshabille.

Buck. A touch of the t)mc», old boy* a smntl
vkirmi^ ; af^er I was down, thuiit;h ! a sot of cnw-

ardly sons of ! tlierc's <j(!Wge mid I will

liox any five for iheir sura.

il/r Suk But how hsppened il? Tlio French
are gcncmllr civil to siranscr*.

BucM. oil ! damned civil ! to fall seien or
eif[ht upon three : Seven or eight ! Ecod, wc had
the whole hou.sc upon us at lu&L
Mr Sub. But what bad you done .*
Buck, Done ! nhv, nothing M nil. Bnt,
wounds * how the powder llew about, nnd the
monsieurs sronrt-d !

Afp Sub. But what offence had cither they or
you committed t

Buck. Why, I was tcllinp Dominc. Last nighr,
l>ick Daylight, B/jh Bread haskt-i, and I, wcrff
wnlkin}: throuirh one of llunr ruos I thiiiL tbev
call them here, thev nre streets in [/tndou ; but
theyhai'e such devifiili out-of-llH-wny mimes for
things, tliit there is no reiiiemberiiti; theui; io
we see crowds of people ^ing into a house, nnJ
comedy pasted over the door: in we troo|K:d
with the rest, paid our ca»h, and vtt down on the
stage. Presently they had a dioce; nnd one of
tlie youhw womeo, with loiig hair tmiling; behinil
her, stood with her back to a r<ul, ju«t by me :
Ecod, what does me I for nothing in the world
but a joke, OS I hope for mercy, hut ties hrr
locks to the rails ; nu, when 'twas her turn to
figure out, souse she flapped on licr back ; 'iwa*
iie%-ilish comical ; but lliev -M-t up such nn uproar —
One wlwy-fnced son o( a bitch, iluit came to
loose the woman, turned up hi* no«?, and railed
mc bete : Kcod, J lent htm n lick in hi« lanthum
jaws, that will mnke him remember the spiwn of
old MarlhoroTi^h, I warrant him. Anotlier came
up to second him; but I let drive at the mark,
made die soup-ma^rc rumble in his bread-bas-
ket, and laid nim sprawling! 11 ten in pnurrd a
tuitlion of tlicm ; I was knocked down in a trice ;

U

154

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FoOTK.

and whnt iiappcncd after, I know do more than
you. But Where's Luc; i I'll go see her.

Clas. Oh Be ! ladies are treated here with a
little more ceremony : Mr Subtle, too, lias coU
lected thf SB people, who are to equip you for Uw
conTCrmtioD of the ladies.

Buck. Wounds ! all these i What, Mr Subtle,
these are moosieurs too, I suppose ?

Mr Sub. No, squire, they are Englishmen :
ftishion has ordaiiira, that, as you employ none
but foreigners at home, you must take up with
your own couatrymen here.

Clai. It is not in this instance alone we arc
particulur, Mr Subtle; I have observed many of
our pretty gentlemen, who condescend to use en-
tirely their native language liere, spuuer nothing
but bad French in the side-boxes at home.

Buck. Look you, sir; ns to you, and your wife,
and Miss Lucy, I like you all weli enough ; but
the devil a good thing else have I seen siuce I
lost sight of Dover. The men are all puppies,
iniuciiig and dancing, aad chattering and grin-
niii|; : the women are a parcel of painted dolts ;
their food's 6t for hogs ; and as for their language,
let them Icnm it that like it, I'll oune on't ; no,
nor their frippery neither: So here you may all
march to the place fnim whence you — liork'e !
What, are you an Englishman ?

Bftrb. Yei, sir.

Buck. Domine ! look Itere, what a monster the
miinlLcy has made of himself? — Sirrah, if your
■iiring was long enough, I'd do your business my-
«elf, you dog, to siiik a bold Briton into such a
sneaking, snivelling — the rascal looks as he had
not hod a piece of beef and pudding in his paunch
iliese twenty yean. I'll be hanged if the rc^ue
han't been fed on frogs ever since iie came over !
Awav with your trumpery !

Cla$. Mr Buck, a compliance with the customs
of the country in which we live, where neither
our religion nor our morals are concerned, is a
duty we owe ourselves-

Mr Sub. Besides, squire, Luanda expects that
you ^hould usher her to public places ; which it
would he impossible to do in that dress.

Buck. Why not ?

Mr Sub. You'd be mobbed.

Buck. Alobbed ! I should be glad to sec that —
No, no ! they han't spirit enough to mob here ;
but come, since tliesc fellows here are English,
aud it is the fashion, try on yonr fooleries.

Mr Sub. Mr Dauphinc, come, produce — Upon
my iTord, in an elegant taste, sir— This gentle-
man has had tliu honour to

Danph. To work for all the beaux esprita of
the court. Afy g;ood fortune commenced by a
small alteration in a cut of the comer of the
•ileeve for count Crib; but the addition of a ninth
(ilait in the skirt of Marshal Tunene, was ap-
plauded by madam la duchess Rambouillct, and
totally established the reputation of your bumble
wrrant.

Buck. lintd your jaw, and dispatch.
Mr Sub. A word with you — I don't Uiiak it
impossible to get you acquainted with n*da«i de
llambouiilct.

Buck. Au't she a papist i
Mr Sub. Undoubtedly.
Buck. Then V\l ha' nothing to say to her.
Mr Sub. Oh fy \ who minos the rel^on of a
pretty wuroan i Besides, all this conntiy are of
the !tame.

Buck. For ^lat reason I don't care how sooa
I get out of it : Come, let's get rid ef you ai soon
as wc can. A nd what are you, bey 1

Bar. Je luit peruquieTf Mouiimr.

Buck. Speak English, you son of a whore !

Bar. I am a perriwtg-maker, sir.

Buck. Tlicn why could not you say to at lint i
What, are you ashamed of your moCher-toagQe i
1 knew tliis fellow was a puppy, by his |Hf-lail.
Come, let's see your handy-work.

Bar. As I found you were in a harnr, I bare
brought you, sir, something that will do for the
pi-cscnt: But a peruque is a diSerent ouvrtge,
another sort of n thing here from what it is n
AiigUterre ; we must consult tho colour of tbe
coiiipleiion, and the tour de vaagCy the fonn of
the face ; fur which end it will bt neocasaiy to
rf^rd your countemmce in diSereot li^U* : A
little to the r^ht, if you ploase^

Buck. Why, you dog, d'ye think lH submit to
be czercisf-d hy you ?

Bar. Oh mon'Dieu ! Moaaieur, if ywt fkc't,
it will be impossible to make your w^ camimk 'd
faiit.

Buck. Sirrah, speak another FreB<^ word, and
rtl kick you down stairs.

Bar. Gad's curse ! Would you resemble some
of your countrymen, who, at the first impoita-
tton, with nine hairs of a side to a brawny pair
of checks, look like a Saracen's head ! Or ehc
their watcr^ruel jaws, sunk in a lliicket ef carls,
appear for all the world like a lark ia a soop-
disli !

Mr Sub. Come, squire, submit; tia bat fot
once.

Back, Well, but what must I do?

[Placet him im a riatr.

Bar. To the right, sir — now to tbe left—

now your full mid now, ur, 111 do your bwi-

ness.

Mr Sub. Look at yourself a little; tee wbata
revolution this has occasioned ia yoor whole
figure.

Buck. Yes, a bloody pretty figure indeed ! Bat
'tis a figure I am damnably ashamed of: Iwoold
not be seen by Jack Wildfire or Didt Riot fbr
fifty pounds in this trim, fur all that.

Mr Sub. Upon my honour, dress greatly iffl*
proves you ! Your opinion, Mr Classic i

Ctat. They do mighty well, sir ; and in a littk
time Mr Buck will be easy in them.

Buck. Shall I ? I am glad ou'i, for I am dan-

BRITISH BRAMA.'

155

I
I

I

BAbly uneuy st present, Mr Subtle. Wtiat must
1 do now t

Mr Suh. Now, MT, if youll call upon tnjr wife,
vQu'U find LucinttH witlt her, ■ml Til v«aii «n you
prewnll^.

fim-Ar. Cotnc nlon;. Dominc ! But hnrkcc, Mr
Subtle, I'll not of my InittiiiieU Mlibii I hunt witli

JIfr Sub. Well, will.

Buck, ri) Oil with my jtrmiuicM ; none of _v«iir
black tHu^ and JAck'boot^ lor mc.

Mr Sub. No, no,

BiKk, I'll bliiiw iImoi the odd« on\ oldSilver-
uil! J will. Hcy^

Mr Snb. Ay, ay.

Htick. llcdi^, itake, or sitle, over w« pt !

Mr Sub. Ay; bill Mr CInssic -^M.

Burk. But A'ye ttiinic tlwyll follow f

Air Suh. Oh no! ImpfHKtblc !

Buck. Did I icll you what a chnw she carried
■■lust Christmas eve? Vie unkciiiicik-il iil

Jfr Svh. I nin liu^v now ; ul tiny ntliiT tinic.

Surk. You'll follow us. 1 liuvc wat for my
fcoaml^ and honr*.

Afr Sub. Have yon f

Mmck, Tbcy liliaU innkc the tour of Eorope
villi nie : and thru tlif n-'n T»in Atkins the liunt^
wmn, the loo wliippcrs'in, nnd liitle Jory tlie
(VOOm, comes will) them. Oamnir, ivlml a
timt^ place thcyll think tlii« ! liut no [u»ttcr
lor that; then we «hnll be compony t-ixiueb of
gnHt^it. Rut yoo'll follow lu 111? \K-rH.

:Jfr Sub, lu ten miiititc-s — an iinpertiiiciit^ack-
anapck! Hut I ahnll soon Im' doiut wjth liiui.—
Sn, eenllcmen ; well, you -kx; we linve » cikkI
MttU«Ct Iti tfoHc tipoit. Ilnrkc-e, Daupliiiic, I
maat hare more thou twenty jtor cent out ot' lliat
suit

DmtpM. Vuon mi soul, MrSubtlfr, I cnn*( !

Mr Su*. Why, 1 have olwoy* thai u\fjti new.

JMtmpk. New, Nr ! why, as I hope to be

Mr Sitb. Come, don't lie; ilontdoinn your-
self, Dnuphiot ; don't he ■ m^ne ; did not I lee
at Madam Fripun's tluit W:ii«lcoat luid nlirrcs
upon Cohioel L'ramUi?

DmMpA. A> to the waistcoat nnd sleeve^i, I
OHO ; but for the body and lining — mav I never
tm

Mr Stib. Coinc, don't be a irouadrel ; five-
■Dd thirlT, or I've done.

Dmmpk, Well, if 1 must, I mint.

{Ent l>ArpH,

Mr Sitt, I must keep t\*f^ fellgws under, or
[ I rfiall hawe n Bne time oq'c ; they know diey

i% do witJiout me.

Enter Mes SVBTtB.

Mn Suit. The Cnlui^ letier«. mv dear.

MrSut. [R«arf<.]— Ah* ah! Calms— the Do-
I 9m fwoket urrived U^t mf;bt, louiliiiu n^ fnUows :
[SfSttilon^ ditto barbers; fJve tuillinirs, hound

to Paris to stody fa»hions; four citiTenx comr to
settle here for n month, by wny *>( s(.ciii« the
country ; ditto, tlieir wives; ten French vnlets,
vriili nine cooks, all frum Ncwgnip, Kliere ihcy
h:id Ikou sent for nibbing ihcir moaters; nine d-
^ure duncers, exported in Scptetnhcr, nimed nnd
lean, imported ntll cliiil, :in(l in i^ood ciisr ;
twelve doi!s ditto bitches, with two monkeys
aud a litter nC puppici, from Mnilirr Midninht's.
in the llnv-murket : a pcecions cnrco ! FmI~
cript. Otic of tlic roaster* i» just put in, with
his RHicc the duke of— ■■ , my lord, nnd hu

ciNl i;i-nilcmati wlii'«c iiaiiie I can't knrn ! —
Gadso ! Well, ttiy dmr, I must run, and try to
•ieeurc tlicsc cuslorotrs; Uterc's wt time to he
lOflt. \Kxit.

KnttrCvkiAjc.

Mrt Snh, Sn, Mr Classic ; wlut, have you left
the yonnt! ample logoflicr ?

C/ai. Tliey wniu your ladys!iip'» presence, ma-
dam, for B siinri tonr lo the IhulIIeriej. I have
rect-ivcd some tcltcrs, wliicli I lauit answer iin-
incdintetv.

HfftSub. Oh! well, well; no cereinonv; wa
arc all of a family, you know. S^natit ! [ F.rU,

Efttfr RootR.

Ctat. Ro^r !

Hi>^. Anon !

Claf. 1 have just received a letter from Tonr
oW inaste-T ; lie was landed at Cnla.is, and will hi-
this evening at Paris. It is absolutely necessary
tliat this cir*:um*fnncr should be ronccsled fnmi
hi* ion; for which piirpow;. \ou must nnit nt
tin; Piccardy i^atc, and delivcf a letter, I shall
give you, into Im imn hand.

Rog. I'llwurrani j-ou.

etas. But, Iloger. I* serrrrt.

Uog. O l«d ! never vou fiar. [ Erit.

C/iu. So, Mr Scdrtlc. I se*- voiir aini. A
pn-ity lud^ng we Ikivc bit npon; th^ misire^s a

commode, and tl*c ma*trr a Hut «hu can

this word be? Possibly th*- ne^lfxted puuk of
■onic rtntou* tnnn of quality. '\'n Inrky Mr
Uuck'fl fallicr is arrive*), or my nuthority would
prove but nn insuthcient matrh for my popll'»
olwtinacy. Tliis mad hoy ! How difhoilt^ lio<v
disagreeable a task have [ undeitiiLrn ! Aud how
general, yt't how rian^eroits, an rspfhincnl is it to
expose our y«»ith, in tlie viry lire and furv of
their blood, to all die follies and eiitruvui:aiir<' of
this fantastic court ) Far diderrnt mjis the prn-
deal pructJcc of our fDrtfnlbcrs :

Thet scorned to truck, for base unmanlv :ifr%
Tlieir iintive plainness, and their hnncst hearth;
Whene'er they deigited tovisit haughty Fmnrr,
Twas armed vi'.h betirdrd dure, ;iiid poinird
lancu.

mm

150

BRITISH DRAMA. ^

[FOOTB-I

No pofnjKlUk pHgC'uiits lured tbcir curiou*

eye.
No cliMnns fur them had fops or AaUery ;
Paris, tlicy knew, tlteir Mntaten waved a-

round,
llicrc Brilans saw m British Harry crowned.

Fur ntber views attract our oioilcrn ocb, y
I'ruUs, loupccs, tnnket&, faaga, brocade, aod f

litcei i

A flaunting funiit and a fictttioua lace. *

Umum; ! Itea^uiiic ! Refuse & Gallic rci|;D !
Nur let ihcir aru niu that ibe*r ann& cmcld

iKirr guin. [£nf.

ACT a

SCENE I.
E»t€r Ma Classic and Hocer.

Rog. Oi n ntaifiter's at u coffice-liouse next
stre«;l. Mild will tarry lilt jrou send for 'iio.

C/oi. iBjr-aiid-bv : in tiie dtuk, bring him up
tbc bnck*siair«. Vou must be careful thai no-
body leek Uiin.

iiog. 1 wBrmnt yoii.

Cta$, Lctsir Joliu kiiotv that 1 would watt rm
him myaclf, bat 1 dun't think it safe to quit tUx
httwrt' an in»tHitt.

Rof!. Ay, ay. [Exit Uch-eju

Cins, I Mippnte, hi this tiinca matters are pret-
ty ndl settled »iunii, and my absence only
MiUited to nccompli&h the ^ene; hut I shall take

mre li^ Oh ! Mr Subtle and his lidy !

[fio-t/CLis.

Enter Mr ontiMRS Svitle.

Jlfrj Sub. Oh, delightfully ! Now, my dcarci.1,
I hope Tou will nu longer dispute my abibtws for
fonnini; n fonnlt-?

Sir Sab. Never, never : How the bagg;^c
kcred !

Mn Sub. And ilie booby gaped I

Atr Sub. Su kind, atid yet so coy ; so free, but
then fi re»cr\'cd : Oh* *ht has blra !

Mrt Sub. i\v, uy; the fuh is hooked: but

ilirn &afcly to faod liiu*- 1* Clasiic iuspi-

aaus ?

Mr Sub. Not that I ob«er\*e ; hot the Kcrct
inu«t $or)n be Mazed.

Mri Sub. I'lieri'fnrc di>rpatcb : I have laid a
trap toinilainc his aCfeciioa.

hir .Sub. How?

ilri Sub. Ho feball be treated with a display
of JLucy'f talents; her singing and dancing.

Mr'Stib. P^ha ! Uvr MUf^iug and dancing !

ifn Sub- Ah ! Vuu don't kitow, husband, half
the furcc of tliese acoompljiJuncDt& in a lasliiou-
nble ^KiirR.

Ml Sub. I doubt her execution.

Mri Sub. You bnve no reason; slie does both
well cnuu|;I) to flutter a Ibok espodally with love

: bet Kvcoiid : bcades X ba^eftcouii dc luaitrc,
! rard.
__ ■ StUi. Whut's that i

Jfri Huh. A mai.

m

[jUdt.

Mr Sub. Who*

iUii Sub. 11h! Iani;iuige master: lie mav be
easily ecjiiipt for ihc expedition; a &ccoad-Eiatxl
tawdry 5uit of rlimtbi will pns^ him on our min-
Lryman fur a marquis ; ami then, to exew lus
5|>cakin(: unr lau^n^o so well, he may have been
educnied early ut FjOgland. tSut lunlt ! The
Mature approaches ; don't seem to observe hmL

Eater Bt;cK.

For my part, I n^er saw aoy tfaiug so nltend
aiiice J was born : In my conBcicncri 1 believe
site's III love »ith liim.

Buck. Iluttb !

A/r Sub. IVvr think so?

Airs Sub. Why, wliert:'* the wonder? He's a
prcUy, fiKMJ-huinnitred, nprigbtly fellow -. um),
for the lime, such an iaipmvemeni ! UUy, he
wcnn lu;» clothca as easily, and inov(< u ge»-
(eelty, n» if ho bad been at Harts ibne twcn^
years,

-Mr Sub, Indeed ! How does he dance?

jifrc Sub. y\h\, he luu had but three Ic
from MuTM-d, mid he movua already like ~
Oh! tliree months stay here will reodcr I
perfect ni(»dcl for the ICii£li«h court !

Mr Sub. Gadsu 1 No wonder, then, witbtbcw
qualities, that he had caught tlie bean ot my
»nrd ; but we must take care tJint the gul d«as
niithmc iiniirudcnL

Mrs Sub. Oh, dismiu yoor fears ; ber fintd^
4oud H-tise, and, mtjre tlian all, Iterbeii^cda*
caicd under my eye, render dicm unueensaiy;
besides, Mr Buck is too much a man of '

[He iuterrvpti (AoM.]

^

Buck. Damn me if 1 an'l !

JIfri Sub. Bless me, air I you lH<r« ? 1 did aat
«-xpcct^

Buck. I be$ pardon : but all that I beard was,
that Mr Buck wns a man of honour. 1 waaled
10 have some chut nith vou, madam, in )>iivalc.

Mr Sub. Tlicn I'll withdraw. You set: I du«
trust you atone with my wife.

Buck. So you may safely ; I have other game
in new. Sonant, Mr Subtle.

.ifri Sub. Now for a punliii^ xeoe : I \<wfi*»
know how Ik-'II Uvin. — [Mide.}—^\\ tii^ U>
Buck, your canunauiu with me, sir f

Foot E.J

BRITISH DRAMA.

I

Buck. Why, mwJtm— I, »h— I, ah— but let's
shut the door : I was, madam — nti ! ah ! Can't
you KUew what I wuat to talk about ?

Jlfr-i Smh. Not 1, indeed, »ir.

Buck. Well, but try ; upuo roy aoul, Til tell
yoQ if you're n^bi.

J/n SuA. It will be tfD|)OMible for me to di-
vioF — But come, open a liule.

Buck, Why, huvi you observed uothiDg ?

AIrt Siih. About wbo?

Buek. Whv, about me.

Afrf Sah. Ve« ; yuu are Dew-fjrcsfted, and your
rlucbe* beoome you.

Buck. Pretty tvetl: but it an*t tbaL

Mrt Hut. What is it?

tturk. Why, ail! all! upon my Mul, I can't
brine it out !

JUr$ Sub. Nay, tlicii, 'ti» lo do purpose to
wait : write your mind.

Buck, No, DO ; stop a momentf and I will
IbU.

3^&i^. Be expeditious, tlicn.

>. Why, I waut«d to talk about Miss La-

Sub, What of her?

BMrt. She's a bloody fine dH ; and I fehonld
beiclftd lo

Alrt Sub. To— Bless me ! What, Mr Buck,
•mI id my house i Oh, ^Ir Buck, you Imve dt^
oeived me ! Little did I UimL, tliat, under tbe
^fanmee of »o much booctty, you could go
o-

Bmck. Upon my sonl, you're mistaken !

Jlfri Suh. A pour orphan too ! deprived, in
her earliest infancy, of a father's prudence aad a
molbcr's cure.

B»tcJi. Whv, I tai you—

UrMSMk S> sweet, so lovely an iuuoccncc !
ha lamd •» spoUcu as ber (lersoa !

Bmtk. UeHaT •

MraSab. And me, sir; where had you your
tfanaehtft of me t How dared you suppose tjoal I
iHmld conniie ni such a

Buck. The woman is bewitched.

Mln S^ I ! whuse itntaitited reputation the
bbunoc too^e of slander never blasted. Full
liftecM yfian, in wedlock's sacred bands, have 1
bvcd ooreproadied ; and now v> ■

Bmet. Odd's furt ! Site's iu heroics.

Mn Sub. Ami this from you too, whose fair
ooUtdo aiwl bewitching Uinguc tiad so far lulled
■ly fears, I dared liovc trusted all my daughteris
■^f, mnelf too, singly, with you.

BmoL Upon ny aoul, and so vou mi^ht safely.

Mr* Smh. Well, sir, ajid wijut have yuu lf>
■r|ge in your defence i

Bmtk. Oh, oh 1 What, are ynu )pit pretty well
WtW rod uf yoor Uoc. arc you? And itow, if
yMll be quiet a bit, we may make a shift tu un-
dcnttuid uoe anotlH?r a littlir.

Mn Suh. lie 'fuick, and^ense me of my fears.

AkA. EnMyouofyour'feart! I don't know

bow the devil you (tot thrau All that I wanted
tu say was, iluit Miss Lucy was a fine weccfa;
and if she was as wdlini; as me-

jlfrs Hut. Willing ! Sir ! What demon

Buck. If yuu are in yoar airs again, 1 may aa
well decamp.

Mn Suh, I ani calm; go on.

Buck. Why. tliat it' »bc liked me as well as I
liked her, we iniiiht, pcrhape, if you liked it too^
be married together.

Mrt Suh. Oh, sir! if that was.indeeil yo«f
drift, I am satisfied. But don't indulge your
wiiih t4)u much ; Uiftc are uuuieroiis obstacles ;
your tatlier's cuasout, the law of the land - - ■ ■

Buck, What laws?

Mn Sui. AU dandcstiiie marriagut are void
in this country.

Buck. Damn this country !— la London immt, a
footman may drive to ftlay-fair, and iu five
mmutes be tadted to a countess; but tlterc'e no
liberty here.

Mn Sub. Some inconsiderate couples have in-
deed gone oS post tu Prutestant Mates; but I
hope my ward will have mure prudence.

Buck. Well, well, leave tlrni tu mc. D'ye
think she likes me?

Mrt Sub. Why, to deal candidly with you,
she docs.

Buck. Does slic, by

Mn Sub. Calm vour transpofts.

buck. Well ! but how } She did not, did she?
Hey t Come iiuw, tell— —

Jifrs Sub. 1 hi:ar her coming ; this is her hour
fur music and duii<:iu^.

Buck. C'ould 1 not have a peep?

A/r> Sub. VVithdraw u> this comer.

Enter Luci!to*, asiVA Gamut.

Imc. The news, the news Monsieur Oamut ;
[ die, if 1 have not the Arst intcltiEcncc ! Wbnt*«
doiui; nt Versailles } Wheu cues (he court to
Marli ? Doca fUuueau write the next opera?
What my tlw critics oi Voliuire's Duke dc r'oix ?
— Answer mu all in n breath.

Buck. A bruvo-t^iintcd prl ! She'll tid;c a
fife-bniTcd pate %a it fortnight.

Gt*m. The runtoraation of the court your
ladyship has engrossed, ever since you laitt non-
ourod it with your n)ipearui»cc.

Luc. Uh, you fliiujrer! hare I ? Well, and
vvtiat fresh victims? Hut 'tis iiuptnoihle; ilio»un>
shiueufa nuiljicru Ih-uuIv is uh} feeble lu thaw
the icy licart nf ^ Krcnch cuurtier.

Oam. ^Vluit iiijubticc tu yuur own charms aod
our disrernracnt *

Luc. Indeed ' nny, 1 care not—if I have fire
cnuugh to wprni iine British b^isum, nde ! rule !
ye I'uris belles ! 1 tnvy not your conquests,

Mn Suh. Meaning you.

bai k. Indeed !

Mn Sub, CcftaiB !

]5«

BRITISH DRAMA.

[KOOTR.

Byck. Huoh!

Ltic. Dui come, a truce to gallantry, Gnmut,
and to the busin*?? of tite H«y. Oh ! I nni rjuitt
ciiclmntnd witli tlii5 new invtrumcnl ; 'lis m Init-
yuiithtu^ aud so pjrtubic, und m suft Hiid »u silly
— Bui Come ! forfour U»t Iwwm.

Gum. D'ye likp the words f

Luc. Oh, chnrmiiifr 1 They are bd melting,
and eik^y. und rle^nt. Notv tor n coup' tfrnai.

dam. Take '-are of your exprejsion ; let your
•yes and address nccompuny tnc sound and sen*

Smc. But, dear Gamut^ if I am out, don't in*
terrupt me: correct mo afterwards.

Cum. Aflmif, commcnrrz, [Luctkoa ainfi,
[^An ocftiiiontil »ong u here introductd bj/

Ll'CIND*.]

Gam. Bravo, brain 1

}iwk. Bmvo ! braviiiiitno ! My lailvi what was
the song about? [Auite to Mrs SuniLi:.

Alrt Sub. 1/ive : 'ti* htr own coinpc>«intt.

Hucti. Wlint, does »hc inake ver^H then ?

Mrs Sub. Finoly. I take jou to be the sub-
ject of lhe«o.

Buck. Ah! d'ye think so? Cad! T tbnight
bv her r^lin^, 'twns the miisir-man himself.

IfUr. Well, Mr (jnmut; tolrrahly well, for so
younp a scholar f

Gam. Inimitably, Mndnm ! Your ladyship'fi
progress will undoubtedly lix my forlnnc.

Enter Servaut.

Luc. Your <(crrant, sir.

Ser. Mudam, your daacii^-master» Monsieur
Kiitcau.

Ltic. Admit htm.

Enter KiTTtAii .

Monsieur Kittenu, I can't po«AibIy take n letson

this morning, I nm «o bu^v ; but if you pleace,

I'll just bubble over a iniiuiet, bv "ay nl' excrciw.

[A minuet here introduced.

Enter Servant.

Ser. Monsieur le Man^uis de

Luc. Admit him this mslnnt.

Afn Suh. A loror of Lucmdii ! a Frcndimon
of fashion, artd ^'ast fortune.

Buck. Never heed ; I'U Mon do lib busiacH,
I'U warrant you.

Enter Marquu.

Xnr. My dear Marquis !
Afar, ilia rAere adorable .'-
sinre I un vou.

-Ti« au age

Imc. Uh ! an eternity I But 'tit your own
fault, ihoacli.

3f«r. M) misfortune, tua prineate f But now
I'll redct tn my error, and root for ever here.

Buck. I fihall make ■ shif^ to transplant yw.
I believe.

Luc. You can't conceive hf<w your absence
has dislttrsAcd me. Demand of the^ gentlemen
the melancholy mood of my mmd.

Mar. But now that Vm arrired, we'll danre

and fttng, and drive cnuro to the Ha !

MoDMeur Kitteau '. liaveyou practiwd thti moni-
nini; *

Luc. 1 had just ^vcn my hand to Kitteau be*
before you canoe.

ASar. 1 waft in hopes that honour would Itnte
bccti reson ed for me. Mnv 1 flatter my&clf that
yonr ladyship will do me the honour of vetito-
rioi^ upon thu fatigue of aiuilhcr ininutt llt>*
mornt'tig with me?

Enter Buck hriikfy. Takt* tier kond.

Bm-k. Not that vou know of. Monsieur.

Mar. Hey ! Ditihlr ! Qurtle bcfc '

Uuck. ]larl,.'rT M(JD»eur Itaeotit, if you re-
peat that word bete, 1 »hall mnke you wallow
ir iij^Hin, n't 1 (lid la«t nij^ht one of your country
men.

Afar. Q»ef tavvge .'

Buck. And annUier word; as I know von raa
speak very iiomi Knjfhsh, if you will, wlien yuii
don't, I simll lake it for ftranted you're obu*inj:
me, and iront you accordingly.

Mtr. CntulMT ent'UKlt ! But you are protect-
ed hero. MuHcmniv-lle, who i* this offictovs
eepilcmHTi f How comes he to b« intercsti
Some rclnlion, I suppose f

liMik. No; I'm a luvvr.

Jtfar. Oh ! Oh ! n rival ! Eh marNn, f ■
dnnfiernu!! one too. Iln. ha ! Well, MonNfur.
wimr, and I snppo«e you presume to ^ve laws
to ihi- lady; aim are delrmiined, out of ^oor
rer}' Rrcsil and eini-uiar affeclion, to knock Jnwa
every mortal she likes, €fl9-mode cf An^leterrtf
llev. Monsieur Hijnvt-heef?

huch. Nrj; but 1 intntd that lady for ray
wife : couMdrr her n« such ; and don't choow to
have Jif-r soiled tiy the imperiincnl addresses of
every I'rviich fop, o-io-modc dc i'ans^ Monsieat
Fricassy !

M»r. Fricauy !

Buck. We.

/.tir. A truce, a tmce, I bewech yoo, scniie-
meii : it seems 1 am the goKU-n prize for whick
you ptend ; produce vour pretentions ; you are
the repTcwniatiies nf' your respective countries
Be^n, inanjuis for tlic honour of France; let
me hear whut adrnntages I am to derire froB a
cnningnl union with you.

Mar. Ahsirartcd from tlio«« which T ihrnl
are pretty visible, a perpetual re^idcaee in this
paradise of pleasures; to l>e the nbject of wb-
vcrsal adoration; to say what you please, p
where you will, do what vou hke, form fa&hionf ;
hate your hutband, and W biiD see it ; bHla)(C

BUITISH DUAMA.

159

I

your gidlaoc, uod let the other kaow tt ; run ia
debt, and obli|e the poor devil in puy JL lie !
Ma chere ! There ore pleuurf» fur you.

Liu-. BmTO) nutn(Ui^ ! lhe» nre allurctnmt»
for B iranuin of spirit : but dun'l let u» coi>clii<Je
butiU : bear ihe crthtrr side. VVltat have ^u to
odrr, Mr Buck, iu tVour ofEiiKlaod?

Btttk. Why, iniuluiti, fur a woinnn fif spirit,
Uhv give you tlie Mine advaotuge^ ni London lui
at rvis, wiih a pnvi|ef;e ffin-ot by the marquis,
aa iDdi^miaUle right tu dieat iii curd«, in 3|)itL'

Alar. Parilnii me, sir, wc have (he wiiiic ; but
Ithuu^hL tluH uri\i(t-ge to knuwn and iiiiivervil,
ttal'twu needicM tu toentiou it.
^BSMrft. You pro iipuothinz, 1 ihtd: but lo tell
ywi my Wuut ihoughii in a word, it' any woman
can be M abaodoi^d, ns lo rutik auiuii^t tiK'
comforts of mmriiuony, the privilege ot' kilirtj;
her husband, and the hhcrly of coiuuiittini; every
folly and erery vice cooiained in your ottHlo^-nr,
>hc oiay fttay mh^Ic f»r me ; for, damn mc, it' 1
ain a tiusboiid lit fur her humour I tliat'k all.

Mtr. 1 tuld you, uiutleiiioiM.-tle I

Imc, But slay; wluit have you to oBer as a
(murtcrbalnnrc fur tlvcsc pienHurea?

Biuk. Why, I luvc, luadam, courage to pro-
tect you* gDod-iiaturt* tu indulge your love, and
laralth enough to make gallants useleaa, and tuu
gOiid a fortune lo vender running in debt nece»-
■uy. Fiad that here, if you can.
^ ibr. Bmtellc !

H X«c- SpoEe with tlie Miiccnty of a Briton ;
Krt^aa I dou't perrciit; iluit I shiill hm-c any u»c
^HH|ilie fashionaUti liU^rtics yuu pmponc, you'll
^"^oErioD, lunrquis. lUT lutioual prejudice; here's tny
iMad, Mr Uua.

Suetu Servunt, raontieur.

iiur. Serviicur.

B»eM. Nw offence?

iimr. Ni>t in the IcnM; I am only afnvid the
reputation of that lady's taste will ^ulfcr a littlf;
mad to ^tu!9f lier at utice t)ie differrnce ci' her
cbeicc^ the preference, which, it' bcatuwcd un inc.
wcMild not fnil to cxa«peralc you, 1 support with-
oat mttrniurtu}; ; w, that favour which would
pmbably have profoked my fate, is uuw your
pnxection. Voila la poljteue i^rancoiw, tnadmn ;
I hare the honour to be — Bou jour, mnnsicur. —
Tol dtnd! [Kxu .VUa.

RmeJi. The fclkw beers it well. Now, if
yaoll ^e ne your hatid, we'll in, and kcitle
uiancr* with Mr Subtle.

Lme. TU onw my duty to cibcy.

[Exeunt.

Enter RoctHf peeping aiHmt.

Jtog Tic cuast is clear ; lir, lir, you may cotae
ia ck>w, Mr Cla»ic.

Enter Ma Classic and Sir Jonx Ruck.

Hat the door. I w tsh, ur J(^n,

I could giTe ycra a more cheerful wcloomc: hut
we have no uiuu tu lose in ceremony ; you are
ut-rivvd in the critical minute; twu houni mor«
would have placed the iucousiderate coui>lc out
of Uic reach of pursuit.

Sir JoHh. lluw cnii I acknowledge your kind-
ness f Vou have preserved luy son ; you liavc sa*
ved

Clai. I have dunti my duty ; but of that

Rog. Maikier and the young woman's co-
ming.

Clm. Sir John, place yiMinelfliere, and be a
witnc:i<t liow near a crisis is the fote of your fii-
mily.

Enter Buck and Lvciki>«.

Buck. Pshn ! What Mgnifie* Iw r ? TJs oddl
whether kiie would consent, from the fear of my
fnthtT. iieside», jihe told me wc could n<'Ver be
inari'Lcd here ; and mi puck up a few (hingi, and
we'll ofl" in a poat-chaiic dii-eclly.

Luc. .St;ty, Mr ijiicfc, let me have a luomeiit's

rcfleaiofl Wlmt ami about? Contriving, iii

cooccrc with the ino»t proiligate couple that ever
disj^raced liuiiuui niiiurc, tu impotte an indicent
orphan uii tliL- Mitc rL-pruscntntirc nf n wealthy
and honourable family! Is this a diaracter he-
cumiiiv my birth and eckication ^ What must be
the conscqucnre? Sure detection nnd conlprapt ;
contempt even from him, when his pauiouauool.
I have resolved, sir.

huck. Madam!

Jmc. As tlie expedition «re are upon the potnc
cif taking, m to Ite a lasting oiic, %vc ooght not to
be liver linsly in our ri.-soIuti»iii.

Hack, I'shaw ! .Stuff ! Wlien a thingS resolved,
the buuncr 'lis over the better.

Imc. Uut before it is ahs^ilutely rcMilved, give
me leave to liet; iin aoower to two questmiis.

Duck. Make haslc, llicii.

Luf. What are your tlwuKhls of mc?

Ituek. Thoughts ! Xay, I don't know; why*
tliat you arc a sensible, civil, liandsonie, liamly
|i;irl, and will make a devilish good wife. That
IS nil, 1 think.

J.ue. Iltit of my rank and fortune?

Buck. Mr Subtle says ilicy are both great;
but iliat's no busineu of mine ; I was alwayb de-
termined to marry for love.

Luc. Generously said ! My birth, I believe,
woa't disgrace you ; but fur niy fortune, your
friend, Mr Subcli^ I fear, has antictjnied you
there.

Buck. Much «ood may it do him; I have
enough fur butli : hut wu tusc tiiuu, and muy be
preveuted.

I.KC. By whom f

Buck. By Domino; or, perimps father may
come.

Luc. Your father ! You dunk be wtwld pre-
vent you, then ^

Buck. Ptffaaps bo would.

lOD

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FooTt.

Xvc. And wby f

Burk, Nny, I don't knoir ; hutt [»liaw '. ^cookft !
diis is like saying nncV catechise.

Luc, But dotrc you think your fathci^s am-
scut nprc««rv '

BncA. No ; why 'lh I am to be married, and
not he. But cnme along - old f'en<i«'!i \nve tn ho
uhstinntc; hut, 'eciid 1 am as miilisli tu he; aiid
to tell yon the truth, if he had {>rop<»i>d mc
a wife, that wnuld hai'« lieen rnuon Anoof^ to
tnukc mc diitlikt* her; and I don't tliink 1 shciuhl
ho half so hot nboui marrying yuu, only I thou{;lit
^wuuid placne the old fwllow dnmnnhly. Sii,
my pretty poittiLT, come ahiiig; Itt tit liuvc no
irmrc

Enter StK Jouy Hvck, ami Ci.x^ic,

Sir John. Sir, I nm ohlis^ to you for this de-
cUrtitloni RS, to it, I tiwe the entire suhjeclion of
that potemnl McakneM nliich hns IiittuTtn ativ
pcnded tlie rorreclion your abandom-d iiberiin-
um has Jong pravokMl. You haie forgot iJic
duty you owe a fiuher, disclnimed my protection,
<!ancelfed the natural covi'nnnt Ivtwepnus; 'tis
time I now should gifc VQ<J up to the »uidiince
of your own guilty pA»ioiift, and treat you us a
Btnuipr In my blood for ever.

Burk. I told you what would happpn if he
ibould come ; but vou mny thank vourself.
. SirJohm, Knunlly n-ealc ns wirfied, the dtipc
of a raw, gidciv cirl. But, proceed, sir; von
liavo nothing larilicr to fetir fnau mc; com-
plete your project, and add her ruin to your
own.

Buck. Sr, as to me, you may say what ynu
please; but for the young woman, alic doe^ not
deserve it; hut now (lie wniitl-d ms lo get your
consent, and told mc tlmt stic had nerer a penny
of portion into the bargain.

Sir John. A stale, obrions artifjcf ! She knew
the discovcrv of the fraud musi folfow close on
your inconnderatp marriage, and would then

K' ad the merits of licr prior candid discovery. —
0 lady, doubUest, sir, lias other secrets to
dJKloM; but as her cunning revealed the first,
liCT poller will presere the rest.

Luc. frhsit SFcrets?

Jiuek. He quiM, I tell you ; let him alone, and
he'll cool of himself liv-ond-by.

Lur. Sir, 1 am yet the protectress of my own
honour; in justice to thnt, I must demand an
esplaunlion. Whiit secrets, sir-'

&r John. Oh, pcrliaps, a thousand ! But I am
lobhune tu call ilwin secrets; tlw custom» of
Uiiii gnv couiUry give <Anciiori, and Mamp merit
upon vice I and vanity will here proclaim, what
modesty would i^lsc^here hlush tn whimper.

Luc. .Modesty! Yon suspect my virtue, then >

Sir John. You ore a lody; but the fear* nf a
father may he pennitted to neglect a little your
plan nf poliicitc-M : iliereforc, to he pUin, Jrom
jour rcMdencc in this bousCf from your coniKrc-

lion with these people, and from the sohcn*
which my presence his inlemiptcd. I have m-
picions — of what nature, ask yourself.

IjUC. 8ir, YOQ have rcavja ; appearances are
againsc mc, i confvm ; but when you hare heard
my melancholy storr, youl) own you hare
uTDiiged me, and learn to pity her, whom yon
DOW hate.

^> John. Madnm, you misemploT yotir tttne;
there, tell your story^ there it wdl be belwved;
1 am too knowing in the wiles of woioen to be
wtftened by a syren-tcor, or imposcl oa I7 oa
artful tnle.

Liie. But hear me, ar; on ray knee I be? it
nny, 1 demand it; you have wronged nic, and
must do me juviee.

C/ns. I nm sure, madam, sir John will be ghid
to find his fean ore false ; but you cannot bhim
lum.

Luc. I dou't, sir: and I slmll hut little

rH» on his pittience. ^\1ien you know, sir,
nra the orplian uf an honourable and
wealthy fainiiy. whom hrr father, mitgoidi
pcniicious politics, brought with him, in
licst infancy, to France; that dying Uertf,
heqnemhcd me, wiOi the poor remnant of oar
slwttered fortune, to the direction of this nipafi-
ous pair; 1 am ^un; you'll tremble for mc.

Sir John. <Jo ou.

L»f. But when you know that, pliimlfred of
the lictic fortune left tue, I was reluctantly com*
pC'llcd to aid this plot; lorce<l to comply, uoder
the penalty of deepest want; without one hospi-
table roof to shelter me; without one friend In
comfort or rclicre me ; you must, you can't but
pity me.

Sir John. Proceed.

Imc. To this, when yon are told. ihnt. ptevi-
ons to your coining, I had determined never lo
wed your snn, nt len^t without ymir knimled]]!'
and consent, I hope your justice then »ill credit
and acffuit me.

Sir .hthn. Mndatn, your talc is ptaa»hle ind
moving ; I hope *iii true. Here comes iIk> et-
plainer of this riddle.

Enler Ma aiiti Mas SrBTLS.

MrSuh. Burk's father!

.Sir John. I'll take some other time, ur, to
thank ynu for the last proofs of your frirml-
ship to mr family; in tlie mean time be so can-
did as to mstnict us iu the knowledge of this tt-
dy, whom, it seems, you have choseo for tlie piff*
ner of my son.

Mr Sub. Mr Buck's partner 1 clioose— -

I_I

Sir John. No f^jvocation or rrserve; your
plot is revealed, known to the bottom, iVno ■*
the lady ?

Mr Sub. l^y, sir? lite lady's a geotlowonnit,
sir.

Sir John, Bv what mean*?

Foots.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

161

Mr Snh, Bj her father and mother.
&r John, Who were the;, sir?
Mr 5i(i. Uer mother was of— —I foi^et her
M>*ifi*ti nainv.

iStr Jokm. Yoa han't forgot her father's i

Mr Suh. No. no, no!

Sir Jokm. Tell it, then.

Mr Smb. She has told it jroa, I suppose.

Sir John. No matter; I must have it, sir, from
TOO. Here's some mrstcrt.

Mr Suh. ^was Worthy.

Sar John. Not the daogbter of sir Gilhert ?

Mr &i. You have it.

Sir Jokm. My poor girl ! ■!, indeed, have

wroogedf but will recess you. And pray, sir,
after Uie many pressing letters you received
from me, how came this truth concealed i But I
gueas your motive. Dry up your tears, Lncindn ;
at last you hare found a father. Hence, ye de-
genermte, ye abandoned wretches, who, abusing
the confidence of your country, unite to plunder
tboae ye pmnise to protect

[Sxeunt Mr and Mas Subtle.

Lmc. Am I then justihed f

Sir John. Yoa are: your father was my first
and firmest friend ; I mourned his loss ; and long
have sought for thee in vain, Lucinda.

BucA.,Pray, han't I some merit in finding her i
she's mine, by the custom of the manor. ■

Sir JoAn. Yours ! First atndy to deserve her ;
she's mine, sir; I have jast redeemed this valua-
ble treasure, and shall not trust it in a spend-
thrift's hands.

BucA^ What would you have me do, mi

Sir John. Disclaim the partners of your riot,
polish your manners, reform your pleasures, and,
before you think of governing others, learn to
direct yourself. And now, my beauteous ward,
well tor the land where first you saw the light,
and there endeavour to forget the long, loi^
bondage you have sufiered here. I suppose, «r,
we shall have no difficulty in persuadmg you to
accompany us; it is not m France I am to hope
for your reformation. I have now learned, that
be, who transports a pnifligate son to Paris, b^
way of mending his manners, only adds the vi-
ces and follies of that country to those of his
own. [Exeunt omnu.

Vol.. in.

THE

KNIGHTS.

BT

FOOTE.

DRAMATIS PERSONS.

MEN.

Haktop, in iove st'/A Miss ScKEY*s^liute.
Si» Gbeoort Gaktte, a ample knight.
3 in KivSt friend to Haetop.
Tiu, Km to Sib Gsecoby Gazette.
RoBiK, servant to Sib Gbe«obt Gazette.

WOMEN.

Jenny,' a chambermaid.

Miss Penelope Tbifle, on old

Miss Suket Trifle, her niece.

Scene—* country totm.

ACT L

SCENE I.— ^ room.
Uabtdp and Jehkins ^acotered.

Jen. I SHOULD not duue to many into luch a
family.

Hot, Choice, dear Dick, is very little con-
cerned in the matter ; and, to convince you that
love is not the minister of my counsels, know,
that I Dcver saw but once the object of my pre-
sent purpose ; and that too at a time, and m a
circumstance, not very likely to stamp a favour^
able impression. What think you of a raw
boarding-school girl at lincoln-Minster, with -a
mind bnpolished, a ^re uninformed, and a set
of features tainted with the colour of her un-
wholesome food ?

Jen. No very engaging object indeed, Hartop.

Hot. Your thoughts now were mine then; but
some connexions I have since bad with her fa-
ther, have given birth to my present design upon
her. You are no stranger to the situation of my
circumstBnces : my oe^boorhood Co sir Penu-

rious Trifle, was a suffident motive fix- bis ad-
vancing what money I wanted by way of mort*
gage ; the hard terms he imposed upon me^ Md
the little regard I have paid to ectmomy, hit
made it necessary for me to attempt by toiu
scheme, the re-establishroent of my rartana.
This juuog lady's simplicity, not tn say 'witm-
ance, presented her at once as a proper saofBct
for my purpose.

Jen. Success to yon, Jade, with all my sool ! ■
fellow of your spirit and vivacity, mnijund oo^
to support, for tnc sake of themselves. Forwha^
ever p^neca and the other moral mitert nty
have suggested in contempt of riches, it is pinn
their maxims were not calculated for the worid
as it now stands. In days of yore, indeed, when
virtue was called wisdom, and vice folly, indk
principles might have been eni-ouraged: botai
tlic present subjects of our enquiry are, not what
a man is, but what he has ; as to be ridi, is to be
nise and virtuous, and to be poor, ignorant, and
vidous — I heartily applaud your pl^

URITISII DRAMA.

163

I

fior. Your obneiTUion U but um> just
Jen. But. prithee, in the Unt place, how can
you gaiu adnulUiiire to yiiur oustrets^ axicl, in
the second, is the girl independent of bcr fallicr?
His oonscut, I suppose, jou have no thought of
obttaoitml

Har. Soooc farther proposals ooacemifi)i; luv
cttate ; socfa as an increase of the mortfEOj^c, or
an abaolale sale, is a suAcient pretence for u vh
■it \ voA, as to tlie costi, twenty to my kuowlcdj^ ;
indtiWDdeot too, you ro^ue ! aini besides wi <'n-

S' child, you know : nntl then, wlien ihiiMpt nrc
noc, ihey can't l>c undone — Hiid 'lis well 'lis no
worae — and a hundred such pretty proverbs will,
^is crcat odds, reconcile ibe old I'cllow at la^t.
Beaded my papa in poue, has a tViibte, which, if
I coodesceoa to hiunoar, I have his soul^ mv
<lear.

Jen. Prithee, now vou nre in spirits, give nie
a portrait <*t' sir I'ciiurirms ; ilinugh he is inv
ac^bour, yet he is i»o dmnestic an iinimai,
iIm I know DO mnrti of him than (he ci»min(>ii
«owDCry ounvcrsation, tluit he is a ihrit'cy, wary
man.

Hur. The lery abstroct of pcnurY ! Sir Jnhn
Coder, with hts trau^ini^niled stockings, wiis Init
a type of him. For mslanre, the barber hns the
Crowtti of his and Ins dHU):hter's tirKd unce ii-yeiir,
for shaking the kutgtit tiuae a fortttif^ht ; his sho4.->
arc made with the leather of a coach of his
grandfather's btiilt in the yiiarOnc; hi^ nmle-
srnrant is footman, Biroom, carter, coachmun,
and taylnr; his tnnid employe her leisure hours
in plMJS-work for the nei;;hhaurs, which sir i'e>
nurious tmkes care, as her labour is for Ins emo-
lument, shall he as manv as pns^blc, l>v joininii;
«ith hu dau|;hler tii Kuuriug tlie rooms, mnking
the beds, A:c — 'I'tius much for his nit»nil charuc-
ler. Then, at to his intellectual, he i^ a meic
tharte himnekc; the last man ho is with must af-
ford him outltcr for the next he goes to : but a
•tanr i* hts idol; throw him in that, and he
<wwlows it ; no matter what, raw or nutated,
Mroary or insipid, down il i^>c», nnd up aentri
to the hr^t penon be meets. It is upon this
basts I (bund my favmr with the knight. Iinvinu;
acniiired patience enough to hear his stones,
tod cquippmj myself wuh a quantity suificit-nt
to fumi«n liim. Ui« niauncr is indeed petii-
liar, awl, for once or t<«ice, entertaining enough.
111 eire you a speciii^i Is not tlint an equi-

Jtm, Hey! yes, faith; and titc owner on ac-
yWiiftlDf of mine: .Sir Ureeory (.ia/ette, by
iwfkttx ! and hi» son Tim witli him. Now I cwi
aalefc vour kni^hL He must come this way to
tht parlour. We'll have a sceoe: but take your
•ue ; he is • oountiy politician.

Sift Grcoobt entering^ and Waiter.
Sir Ort, WbU, iieiiher the Gloucester Jour-

nal, Dor tlie Worcester Couront, nor the North-
ampton Mercury, Dor the Chester? Mr Jenkins,
I aui your humble servant : A stmnge town this,
Mr Jenkins; no news stirriof;, no pH|)ers taken
in! Is that gentlcmait a stmu^er, MrJeukioa?
Fnty, sir, uot to be too bold, you don't come froin
Luiidoo i

Har. But Utst night.

Sir Gre. I^ck-a-day, that's wonderful ! Mr
Jenkins, introduce inc.

Jen. Mr llano^, sir Gregory Gaxettc.

Sir Ore. Sir, I am pmud to Well, sir, and

what news? You come from Pray, sir, are

you a parliamcnt'mmi f

Har. Nut I, uuieed, sir.

Sir Crt. (hmmI lack t may be, belong to the
law^

Har. \or titat

Sir Grc. Ub, tlien io some of the oflficcs ; the
treamry, or the eichcqucr i

Har, Neither, sir.

Sir Gre. iAck-o-day, that's wonderful ! Well,*
but Mr — Pray, what name did Mr Icnkiiu^ Ua,
Uu

Har. Ilartop.

Sir Gre. Ay, true !— What, not of the llartops
of Boston ?

Har. No.

Sir Gre. May be not. There is, Mr Ilartop,
one tiling (hat I envy you Londoners in much —
quires of newspapers! Now I reckon you read
a matter of eight ihccu every day i

Har. Not one.

Sir Gre. Wonderful ! — Ttien, may be, you are
about court i and so, being at ilic luunLaio-
faead, know wluit is in the papers before they
arc printed.

Har. i never trouble tay bead about them, —
An old fool 1 lAtide.

Sir Gre. Good Lord ! Yoor friend, Mr Jen-
kins, is very close.

Jen. Why, sir Gregory, Mr Ilartop is much in
the secrets above ; and it becfmies a nsB lo
trusied to be wfiry, you ku/jw.

Sir Ore. May bo so, may be so. Wonderful !
Ay, ay ; a great man, no doubt.

Jen. But m Kive him a better insiehi into
your chanictcr, and tl)at will induce him to throw
oif his resen e.

Sir Ore. .May be so : do, do ; ay. ay.

Jen. Prithee, Jack, dot/t be so crusty : indulee
the knight's humour a little ! Besides, if I guet«
right, it may be occeuary for the conduct of
your design lu contruct a pretty strict intimacy
there.

Har. Well, do as you will.

Jen, iiir Gregory. Mr Hartop's iE;noraoce of
your cl>arncicr made him a little shy in his re-
plies; but you will now 6nd him more comma-
nicative ; and, in yoor ear — he is a trcnwre ; lie
is in all tltc mvsterics of i^uvvruiucul ; a* Uiv UH-
tom of ever; ttiiug.

164

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Foots.

Sir Grt, Wonderfii] ! a treasure ! vj, tnnj be
■n,

Jen. Anrf, thm you mny hnve himtoTOuneir,
I'll KO it) searrii of ytnp- »on.

■Sir (ire. Do r, do so; Tim is without; just
come from hts jncle Trecesle'*, at MenrjiJ-
XV, in C'oniwall. Ttni is an Honest lad — Ho m,
do so— [ExiV Ji:sK.} — Well, Mr Hurtop, mid so
«e Imve n pence, Inck-n-dnv; long-looltpiUfor
come nt la^t. But pnty, Mr Hsrtop, how mnny
neMftpapcrN may vou have pHutcd iti 8-weck?

Uer. About an hundred and liAy, ur Gre-
gory.

Sir Grr. Good now, good now ! and all full,
T reckon ; full ns an tf% ; noihing hut news !
Well, well, I ?^hiitl fp to Ijtioilon oiie of thcM
days. ^ hundred and fifty ? Wondtrriil ! And
prdv, now, which do you reckon tJie best?

ilar. Oh, wrOre^iirv.thevareirahoas in their
excellencies, as thoir uses, ii you are inclined to
hiackei), by a couple of lines, the rfrptitftlion of n
ueii^tbunr, you m»y do it for two tihiUiniri in oiic
pnpcrt if you are displaced or di^iippomted of &
place, n inplrc a^iiifit ttw tmoiilry will he al-
ways wtU received at tlie heftd of anotlier: niid
then, n» a pnpcr of morning Brau»emrnt, you have
the Fool.

Sir Ore, Tbe FoqI ? cood lack \ and pray who
and what moy that SAmc foul be ?

Uar, WhY, sJrOreeory, llwnuthor has artfully
a5&umed that habit, like tltc royal jesters of old,
tn level his satire with more aecunty to himself,
and !»everity tu others.

Sir (tre' Mny be bo, may be w I The Fool !
ha, ha, ha ! Well eiioueh ; a queer do^ ami no
fnol, I warmitl you. Killigrew; uh, I have heard
my ftRuidlather talk much of tlint mme Kitli-
ercw, and no fool. But whnt's all this to ttews,
Mr Hartop ? Who {^ve» us the bent account of
the ktuy of Spain, and tlie queen of Hunpnrv,
Hiid tlio<<: vrciit friLks f Come uow, yon could give
lis a little news, if vou would ; conic now — snug '
■ — nobody by. Good iiow, do; come, ever so
litltp.

Har. Why, ai you to largely contribute to the
soppoit of the govrmmeui, it is but fair yon
sliould know wliat (licy are about. Wc arc at
prevent in a trealv with the pope.

&r Grt. With' the pope ! Wonderful I Good
now, good now \ How, how \

liar. Wp arc tu yield hiiu up a large trnck of
the Terni-inrognita, together with both the
Needlra, Scilly-riK'Ls, and tlie IJxard-poirit, on
ciinditioti ttiat the pretender lias the govenitncnt
of Laputa, and tiic bishop of Greenland suc-
ceerU ti) Si Peter's chair; he being, you know, a
protectant, wlwn possessed of the poniifiCTiIs,
iwurs oot n bull, commanding nil catholics to be
of his reliibon : ihey, deeming the pone infallible,
fotlinv lii> directions; and then, sir ure^ury, wr
BIT all nf one mind.
•St Grt. Gotid lock, good lack ! Rare news,

rare news, rare news ! Ten railtinm of thanks,
Mr llanop. Hut niiglit not 1 just hint tliis ui
Mr Snnkom, our vicar? 'twould rejoice hi« heart.

Har. O lie, by no mean* !

^> Grt. Only a Iumi — a little hiot — do now f

Har. Well, sir, it is difficult for me to rrfoM
you any thing.

Sir Ore. 'I'en thousand tluinks. Good now !
the pope— Wonderful ! HI minute it down-
Both the Needles ?

Har. Ay. Ifoth.

Sir Grt. Good now; ni minute it — the U-
lard-point — both the Needles — Scilly-rorks — bi-
shop of (freentnnd — iSt IVrer's dwir — Why ihtn.
wlten thii is finished, we may chuDce to attack
the great Turk, and have lioly war> i^inj Mr
Hartop.

Har. That's part nf the scheme.

•Sir Gre. Ah, pood now ! You see I ha»« a
head ! Politic* have been my atudy many a
day. Ah, if I httd hpen in I^ondon to tmprorebv
the ncn-^paper« ! Tliey tell me Dr Drybottn »
to succeed lo the bishoprick of Wispcf ?

Har. No; l><H-tor

Sir Gre. Ind^e<t ! 1 vris told by my landloeJ
at lOrss, that it was bctweeu hiin and the deu
of

Har. To triy knowledge.

Sir Gre. Nay, vou know best, to he sure.

it should Hush ! here's Mr Jenkins arwl ma

'rim — mum ! — Mr Jenkms doe^ not kuuw aiqr
lh>it|i aliout the treaty with the pope?

i/ur. Not u word.

Sir Gre. Mum \

i'n/er Tim o/k/Mr Jckkixs.

Jen. Mr Timoiliy is almost grown outof knoM-
ledpe, sir fSrf^onr.

Sir Gre. Good now, goiMl now! uf, aj; IN
weeds grtiw a-pure. !Jon 'I lui, Mr Hariop; a p»ai
man, child ! lilr llnrtop, lou Tim.

Hot. Sir, 1 stmll be always glad to k(Km ertn
brenrli that springs frotu mi i aluablc a (r^ink a*
sir (Jreeory Gaicrte.

Sir Grr. May br so. Wonderfor! mr, Av,

Har. Sir, I am ^lod tu »ce you in HerrfunV
sliirp — lln*e you been long from Cormvalt.'

Tim, A^, sir; a iiiatier of four vreeks at ■
month, more or less.

Sir Gir. Well said, Tim! Ay, ay, mL Vm
any qui-Mioiis he mn 3ini|rpr for himself. Tin.
icll Mr Hartop all tt>c news about tbe election^
Hnd tlie Limit- rs mid tlic tides, and the roads ud
the pilchards. 1 want a few wunis with Mr Jeo-
kins.

Har. Yuu Itare been to long absent from ynm
native country, that you Imve almost for|^it.

Tim. Yes Mirc. I ha' bceo at uncle TrBgiritiV
a matter of twelve or a doxcn year, morp wum.

Har. Then 1 rL>ckou you were quale iniMtient
to see your papa and momma ?

Tim. No sore, twt I. Father icdk fur nr ta

FOOTB.]

BRITISH PRAMA.

165

«aclc:/--Sorc Mencgtjy is a choice place ! and I
' could B lOid there all my bom davi, mure or
leas.

Uar. Prar. sir, whnt were vour amusements ?

Tim. Xan I what d'ye toy f

Har. How (lid y<ni nivert vfflifM'lf ?

'lim. iMi, we lia' irtsiimcs enow there; — we
ba' balMnitin^ ana OKk-tighting, and Ashing,
Mut honlinib and hurlinf;, hikI wrcnliiiE.

flirr. TTie twu last are sporta, for which tliot
conntry i« very remarkable; — in those, I pfesunic,
jwi arc vciy expert ?

TSw. N'Rit ! What;

Har. I say jou are a good wrestler.

'fim. Oh, ye» !iurR,Iain wrcMlc well enow : —
but we duit't wreaile after your fashion ; wc ha' no
tripniiifb fnth and sole \ we go all upon clisse hugs,
«r Clie Ayiaf> mare. Will ynu try a fall, laaster?
—I won't hurt voo, fath wid sole.

Jifor. We had as ^ood not venture though.
But have you left in Cornwall nnthitig that you
regret iho low of aiorc than hurhng and wrc^t-

•Jiau Noa! Wtint?

Har. So faTOurite she !

'/W. Am, I cnijpled Favourite and Jowlcr to-
gether. Slid -ure they tugged it ait ihc way up.
I*art \*nU Favnufiie ! m>, I tluink yuu fur nothing.

tVou muu knovr I nuned Favourite myself: un-
cic'a huntsman was KUing to Milt-poiid to drown
all MuMc'n poppies ; mi I »aved she. Bot fath,
I'll tell you ft coratcal story: at Lanston. thcY
both bnikc tonse, and eat a wliole loin^'-tcal,
and a U*gof beef : ('n<it ! How Imidlord swcar-
cd I fatii ibe |ioor fellow was Hlinoftt nmazed : it
made on* die wi' laugliintc. But how came you
to know sbnut our Favourite t

Htr. \ cJrcumMancc so niaterial to hi* son,
oonld note&cspe the knowledge of sir (ircsory
CaiTttc's frirnds. But here you raistuok me u lit-
tle, ISquircTiiu ; I mnuit wlieilKrynur nffocliotis
were oot settled upon some pretty fEirl. — Has
■at Himc Cornish la» caught your )■< art ?

7W Hush! Ltjd, the old man v\\\ lit-ar; jog a
vmy bit thi« way— won't a' tell father?

H<tr. U|»n my honour!

Tin. Why then, I'll idl ynu the whole Kory
more or leas. Do you know Mally Pengrouse?

Har. I ani not s>i hnupy.

Tim. SheS uncle's milk-OMtd;— she's m liand-
■■ne. I»rd ! her liice all red and white, like the
■aside irt' a shoulder of inutlon; m» I muda love
to our Mally: andjiMt, futh, iis I had got her
yoH-will to run away lu Eieter and he married,
■Dcle found it nut, and hrnt w<ml to fulhcr, and
tehrr sent for mc hooie — but 1 don't love tier a
fail the wuTM- for tJiat. But i'cod, if you tell fa-
ther, be*ll knnck my brains out ; for lie says, I'll
dWpimt^ tl»e fumily, nnd mother's as mad as o
March bare about it — so fniher and niodier Im'
broogbi nic to be married to some yuung Knly in
ihcaeparM.

Har. What, is my lady here ?

ITm. No, sure; dame Winnifred, as fiither
calls her, could not come along.

Har. I am stirry for that ; 1 have the honouf
to be a distant relaUoo of her liidvship's.

Tim. like enough, faih ! — shc'i a-kia to half
the world, I think. But don't you say n word to
father about Mally Pen^^rousc. Htish !

Jr«. Mr Harcop, air Gregorv will he amongst
us some time — he is goin^ with his mjo to sir Pe-
nurious Trifle's there IS n kind of i titruiv of

luarriage on foot between Mib Sukcy Trille and
Mr rim'>iliy.

Har. 'I'hc devil ! \Apart.\ I shall be plad of
every circumstance ttiat can make me better ac-
quainted with sir Gi-cgory.

&> Ore. Oood now, good now ! may be to,
mar be so !

Tim. Father, mre the gentleman says as how
mother and he nrc a-kin !

Sir Gr(. Wonderful ! Lack-o-day, lack-a-dny !
how, how ? I am proud to — but how, Mr Hnrtop,
how?

Har. ^Vhy, sir, a cousiiMi'nnon of my aunt's
6r5t hosbann intermarrisd with a distant relation
of a collateral hraiich by the iiiotbcr's iide. the
AppHces of lAntrindon ; nnd we have ever »incQ
qunnered in a Vutrheoii of pretence the three
"oat's tails rampniit, diridcd by a clicvcmii, field*
ar]e,cnt; with a leek pendant in the dexter poin^
to riislinpiish thp second house;

Sif Ure. Wonderful! woodcrful ! nearly,
nearly related * Good now, good now, if dame
Winnvfred wns here, she'd mnke them all out
with B wet finger — l«il ihcy art- above mc. Pri-
thee, Tim, good now, see after the horses — nnd,
d*ye hear ? try if you can get any in'w"|iiip<r*.

T^m. Yes, fntlier — But, cousin whai-d'ye-calt-
um, not a word about Mnllv Pengr>*usc !

Httr. Mum ! {Erit Tm.

.Sir Gre. Good now, litat boy will make some
mistake about the horses now ! I'll go mvself.
Good now, no fartlicr, cousin; if you please, no
ceremony — A hundred and fifty new^jwpers a
week ! the Fool ! ha, ha, ha ! wonderful ! an <Kkl
dog! [■^"^ ^'" GaKooar.

Jen. So, Jack, here's s fresh spoke tn your
wheel.

Har. This is a cursed cross incident !

Jen. WqII, hut something must be done to
frustrate (he scheme of yoor new cousin'*. Cm
you think of nothing?

Hnr. I have been hammeriug : pray, are lite
two knights intimated ore they well ac<|uaitited
with each otl)er's person f

Jrn. Faitii, I can't tell ; but we nay soon
know.

iitr. Could yon recotnmend me a good spi-
rited girl, who has hiiiuour and complinuce to
follow a few directions, and undentanding

160

BRITISH DRAMA.

CFOOTB.

mnugh ta bortcr a little incbiuuion for 3000L &•
jrCMT mud a fool ?

Jen. hi part X guess your dcsit^n; the iiuu/b
daughter oi' ilic iKitue ib a good lively lass, has a
fortune (o luaLp, unit no reputaium to Inse : 111

call her — Jcany !— but rhc ciiera}-'» at hand

yH withdraw and pfepnre Jenny. When the
tvonhipful family arc retired, I1l iolroducc tJie
weudi.

[Exit Jkkkiks.

Znter Sir Grigobt anitf Tiu.

Sir Gre. Pray, now, couMn, are you in friend-
ship with nir t'cnunoiu Tnflc 7

Sinr. I iiavt die honour, kir, of that geutle-
mail's ncquuintance.

^> Grf. May be so, may be so! but, lack-a-
day, cou^D. is he such a mis^r as folks aoy ?
Hood now, they tcU nic wc slinll hardly haie nt^
ccBMiries fnr uursc-lve* and hiwe at Gripe-hall;
hut aa yuu area telatiou, you should, good now,
inow the affairs of the family. Here's sir Penu-
rious'fr Icltrr ; here, cousin.

/iflr. * Your overture I receive with pleasure,
nod ^ould be glad to niRet you in Shropshire* —
I hincy, from a ihorouch knowlrdgc of sir Penu-
ri'>uh's diBpotrition, and by tvhat I om cnllect frtiro
the coaieats of that letter, he would be much
belter pJcawd to meet you heie than at bis own
hou>c.

Sir Grr. l.jick-n-i|tir, may lie so t — a stnuigc
mau ! wonderful ! But, guud now, cxiu&in, nlmt
niust we dn ^

Uur. I tliit Diortiiog paid sir Penurious a visit,
and if you'U honour tDe with your cummaodi,

ni —

Sir Gre. Woiideiful ! to-day ! good now,

that's lucky ! cousiu, you are very Liiul. Ijutx]
now, I'll scod a letter, Tiiu, bv cousin Hartop.

B'tr. A letter from so old an ac<iuainlaiici-,
aiul upon ao happy an uccaiiuD, will secure me u
favourable reception.

Sir Gre. Good lack, ^ood lack, an old ao-
quainiiincc, iudecd, cuiifiii Hartup I we were at
Hereford 'sjw topcUicr — let's see, wonderful,
how liiiig afio! — 'twas while 1 was courting
Damo Winny, iIh- year before I aiarned —
Good ROW, how long? let's sfMi — that year the
hecfcti^y scible was built, and Pcler l)gly, the
blind pad, fell into a saw-pit.

Tun. Motlier sny>s father and she was married
the firv of April la the year ten ; and I knows
His tlicreabout, for I ant two and iJiiriy ; and
brotltcr Jercmv, land Ko^er, and Gregory, and
sister Nelly, were bom befure I.

Sir C re. Good now, enod now! how time
Wears away! wonderfal ! thirty-ei^bt years a ^o,
Tiin ! 1 cuuld ni>t have lliuught it. Hut ouoie ui,
let's set about the letter. But, pruy. cousin,
what divtrr&ions, good nuw, arc gulng fumnfd iu
Loodoo.*

Ha/. Oh, sir, we fire in nO diatiCM for amitse-
wem ; we have plays, balls, puppeC-ftwirft, maa-
uuemdcs, bull-bnitiup, hoiin^ burlettas, rouu,
dnnns, and a tbouaatHl otiiers. But I am in haste
for yt>ur epistle, sir Gregory.

sir Gre. Cousin, your servant

[£r<uai Siu Gecgort owdTiMOTirT.

Bar. I am your must obedient — Huifr far our
M:heinp .surreal : and if JeuVins's ^rl can «»•
suiiie the Bukward pertness of the daughter, with
IS much bucceaa as 1 can imitate the ity'inbed
folly of sir Peourious the father, I duu't (icspait
of a happy catastrophe.

JJnlrr Jekkt.

Jeni^. Sir, Mr Jenkins

Uar. Oil, iliild, your instructions shall be ad*
miniittered within.

JVuny. Mr Jenkins has opctied your devgn,
and I aui ready and able to execute loy part.

Uar. My ckar, I linre nut the lca«t doabtof
either yiiir inclination or abibty — B<it, p<ix taka
this aid feltow ! what in the devil's tttwe can
bruig him buck i Scour, Jenny.

Enter SjR Grcgort.

Sir Gre. Cousin, I lieg pardon ; but I have a
favour to l«i; — (>ood now, could not yoa mate
intcrral al »jiiie coirie-hnu^r in I^ndoo, to buy,
for u small matter, th*; old Inmi|l9 of iipwspaprn,
and ^eud tlicni intu the cnuntty in mer ilifi
wuuld (KLtsawuy the timr rarelv in u ntiny daf—

Uar. E'll send you a cart-load.

Sir Gre. Goon now, good now ! Tea thoo>
^and ihnnks [ — You are r cousin indeed. Bu^
pray, cousin, let us^ Kood now, »ee some «f tS*
woi-lis of thsi same fool f

Ihir. I'll send vou them all ; but a

Sir Gre. What, mil ?— Ijirk-SKlay. ibal's kimk
coiuiii ! The Terra-incognita — both the Neadia
— ti crent de<il of that ! But what bialiop is to bs
pKipe?

Hur. Zounds, sir, I am in haste for your kUv
— When I return, ask as tuuny questions' ■

Sir Gre. Goitd now, good now ! that's true—

I'll in, and about ii But, coii.<uii, the popt

is n>n i'> liiiTe Gibraltar i

Hilt- \», no ; damn it, nn ! As nooe but tfaa
Fn«^ could say it, so none but idioia would b»*
lieve him — Pray, fcir Gregory- —

Sir Grt. Well, well, cousm i lAck-asUy! yoe
■ore M — but pray

liar. Damn ytxir prayin)|> ! If yr>u dim't finish
Vftur letter immedialely, you laay carry it your^
>cif.

Sir Gre. Well, well, cousin ! Ldck*a-dny, yofl
ai-e in such n— ^ood now, I jco, I go !

Har. Hut if ilic truth should be diMonn^ I
shall be inevitably disappointed.

Sir Grt. But, cousin, are Scillj roclt>

FOOTK.]

BRITISH DUAMA.

m

Hot. I vnA thej were in your guts with all
snjp beut 1 1 nuflt <]ait tlie field, I find.

[£jriC Ua&top.

Sir Ore. Wondf rful ! good now, good now !
■ pnssioimce man ! l.ack-a-day, 1 ain glad iho
pupc is not to bare Gibraltar though. [£iU.

ACT IL

I

SCENE I.— Sir GnEooar, and Tim rtaiUng
uemt to Aut, Mttovered.

Tm. CoxsTANTiKOPLB, N. S. Nor. 15, the
GtwmI Seignior

Sir Grt, Lack-a-day ! good now, Tim, the po-
litics, diitd : mod rind lJi« Btnrt, nod the dnsUes,
aod Ac bUokf, as I taui;ht you, Tiui.

lim, Ycij lathtT — Wc can assure our readcrt,
(hat tlie D — da^ ifi to go to F blank ; and tliat
a ctrtuin ooble L — i& to rc»igti his p — e in the

t J HI order co nuke room for the two three

■tare.

Sir Grt. Wonderful ! good now, good now !
paUi»e«s,Ttni'. Ah, 1 knov the two three stars
voold cumc in nUiy one liinc or othtr. Thi»
VmaAan Evening kuows more Uian any of tltctn.
Well, child. «en.

TiM. Frosn tiie D. J.

&r Grt. Ay, that** the DubUa Journal. Go
on.Ttm.

Turn. Last SatunlHy, a gang of highwaymen
brake into tui eiofity huuae on Umond quay, oud
HmipMi It of all the furniture.

air Grt, L«ck-(kHl&y, ironderful ! To what a
hdvbt these rogues are iinmn !

IW Tbe way to Mr Keith's chapel, is tuni off
year

&r Ore Paha ! bkip that. Tim ; I know
thot ratd as well us the dixtor: 'tis in every
tnae.

Tiar. J. Wonl, at the Cat and Gndiroti, Pctli-
ooat lane, raakes tabby all orcr for pL-ople in-
diaed to be crooked ; aod if he was to huve the
waitrrraai world for omking a pair of slays '>*''
could not put better stolFin them

Sir Gr€. Cowl onw ; wherc's that, Tim ?

Tm. At Uie Cat and Gridiruii, fuUier,

Str Grt. Vi\ minute that : All itiy bldy
lai^a dutdren, good now, ore inclined to be
OMtod.

Enter Draaer.
Vrmm, Sir, Mr Jenkins beg« to s{>enk with

Sir Cre, Good now ; detire him to iivalk in.

fttfer Jejiiims.

Jimit. I thought it niiglit d'K be improper to
kifMR yvo for a viiit fram sir Penurious I ride.
lav him and bts daughter alight at the apolhe-
«rt*i alMtvc.

Sir Grr. What, ibey are eotne? Wonderful !
*«7 kiadlf v«ry kiod, v«rjr kind; indeed, Mr-^-

Come, Tim, settle mycmsnt; good now, let's
be a. little dccenu — licniumher your beat bow
to vour mi>tre^ Tim.

'rim. Yes, father ! but must not I kiw Miss
Suckf

Sir Gre. L-u^k-n-day, ay, ay. Pray, is cousin
Uortup come uloiig >

Jettk. I have not seen him; but I fancy I bad
better introduce luy neighbours.

Sir (jre. Good now, would you be so kind ?
[£rit Jenki»$.] Stand behind mc, Ttin — Pull
down your ruffles, child.

Tim. Hot, fntiier, won't Miss Suck think me
bold, if I kiss her chops the first time i

Sir Gre. I«ick-s-day ! no, Tim, no. Faint
heart never won fair ludy. Ha, Tnu, hnd you
but seen ine attack dame Winny ! But times
aren't as they were. Good now, wc were aji-
uthrr kind of fi>1ks in thusc day^; stout Hearty
smacks, that would ba' made your mouth water
agaiD i ami tlie marie stood upon llie pfiuline Itp^
like ihc print u^miii ti pniiiid uf huitcr. Hut the
(nastcr-misBc» of tlie f>rcscnl age go, lack-Mrdav,
as gingerly about it, us it' ihey were afraid to ^1
ilieir mouths with the pnint upon tlicir mistresaes'
cbccka Ah, tlie ilay» I lime seen !

IW. Xay, father, I wfirmnt, if tliat*» all, I
kiss her hearty enow, fntli and wie !

Sir Grc Hu*h, Tim, hu.sh I .Simid behind mc,
child.

Enter II.\nTOP mSir PtKuniotisTRii'LE, and
JcKNY ai Miss ScKcr, and Jckkims.

Sir Ore. Sir Ponurtout, I am OT«^oyed !

Good now !

Har. Sir Gregory, I kiss your liand. Mr
daughter Suck.

Str Grt. Wonderful ! — Miss, 1 am proud to
—Son Tim — Sir Penurious — Best bow, child —
Musi Suck —

Tim. An*! that rii^i, father ? [K$ues her.

Sir Gre. Good nOR, good now ! I am glad to
sec you took so well You keep your own, sir
Peiiuriooa.

Har. Ay, 8T, stout enough, !tir Gregory; stout
enough, bmtlivr knight ; hearty as on uolu Hey,
Dick? (ind. now I talk of an oiik, I'll tell you a
story of an oak. Jc will make yon die with
laughing. Hey, you Dick, yoo ha»e beard it;
shaJl I tell it Mr Gregory?

Jen. Though I have heard it so often, yet
tlker« is soniPihing •*** engaging in vour mauner
of telling a story, thiit it alwars appears new.

Sir Ore, Wonderful! good now, good now;

108

BRITISH DRAMA.

(TOOTE,

I love n comioU story. Pray, wr Penurious, lei'a
baie it. — Miiid, 'lim; mind, child.

Tim Yes, father ; futli timl sole, I luvc a
cliuice Dtory to my Itenrt's tilood !

J/or. You, lini[;lit, I was nt Balh Infrt stiminer
— *— o i»wer that people- ilriiit wlitii thtv are
til. Yuu hutc heard of Uie UUi, Ditkrilcv.

Tim, Ye»t faih, 1 kuow BaUi; I wiu Uicre in

niy "ftiy up.

Sir Ore, Ilasb, Tim ; good now, liuijt !

Hnr. There* n cnf)t-c-Ut>usc, you a place

where peo|ile driiiL ci)lU>ti nnd ten, mid n.-jtd the

DCW5.

Str Grc. Pmy, sir Peituriuus, how many pa-
pers may they utkc iii }

Har. Pahik ! damn the iicwfi ! niiiul the ^itnry.

air Gre. Good iu>w, gixjd iiun ! n lutnty mttii,
Tim !

Her. Pox take vou both ! I Iiavc lu^t the sto-
ry — \Vhcrt did I leave uff? Hey — you Dick.

'Hnt. About coffee aiid tea.

Ilitr. H.i|;lit, rifihi ! True, true ! So, vmtl, ynii
knixhl, I uKd tit hreaLfiLst ut this cofln'-lutuhL-
tvery inorninii ; it cost me eight-pence, thuujjh,
and I had atnMv^ u lireakfu^t at home — no niiiE-
ter fur that, tiuiuf^h ! tJici-e I hreaLlii«tcd, vou.
Dick, eci>d, at the same table Mitli lord 'I'uin

Trucwit You haie heard i>f Truewil, yuu

knight i a droll do^ ! Yuu, Uick, he told u& tite
ktury, and mnde us die trilh Inughint;. You have
heard al'Chnrli'6 U. yuu kitiglit ; h*; nas wn of
Cltnrlcs I. kiii^ her«, in Cngloiul, that was be-
lieudcd by Oliver Cromwell : So, what dues
Churles I. you kuighi, du f Out he tif^his Null at
Worcester, a towu you have Itcard of, nut far
oiT: but all would tuKdo, you : ecod, Noll mnde
liitii scamper, made liiin run, take to hi>> heels,
jou kuiglit. Truewil told us thu atury, mude iiit
die with laughing. I always breakfusicd at tlic
roflee-liuu<te ; it coat me eighlpeiut', thou)tli I
luid b breakfiut at Iwune — So whnt does Chiirtc*!
do, but hid himicirin an oak, nn onk-trce, vou,
ID a wood, called UoM-ohel, from two Itullan
word*, BoMTo Bello, i\ hue wood, yyu; aod off he
luarcheft : but old i^oll would not let him oxiic
lioiue ; no, tayji he, you dnn't come here. J^rd
Tom told us ihc story ; mude u» die with Inui^h-
ing ; it coftt me eightpencc, though I had a break-
fast at home. So, yuu ktnphi, wlico NoU died,
lilonk there, you. attcrwardi AJbemarlc. !•» tl>e
north, brought him back. So, you, t)»e cavaliers,
yrou hate liotrtl of (hem? thry were I'riends to
the Stuarts. What did tliev do, ccod. yuu Dick !
Ikii they put up (.'harlcs in a siicn. the roytil uok:
you have M-cii such sipis at country alc-lioubes:
BO, ccod, you, itliBt doe« a iiuntaii do? — tttc pu-
rtiuiis were friend^ to Noll — but he put* op the
sigQ of an owl in the iv>'-buf>h, and uudernoatli
he writca, ' litis is not the royiil oak.' Yuu ha^e
weu writings under tipis, you kn.ght * L'pon thi»,
sa;r» the royaluis, txed, this must not be ;, so,

you, what do they do, but, ecod, ibcy pro«ec»ted
the poor puntau; hut they nutde hnn change his
sign, though. And you, Dick, h'^w 6'yv think
the? changed it ? Ecod, lie puts up iJic roval t>ak,
aud undrniealh he wrlte's * Tins i* not the owl
ill llic ivy-bush.' It tonde us all die with laugh-
ing. I^rd Tom told die »t(irT. 1 always
hreakfnstf^l at the cofice-bou^e, tbotigh it oojt
me cightpeDce, and 1 luid n breakfast at huinr;
liey, yoii knight * Whnt, Dick, hey f

'sir Gre. Good now, good now ! Wonderful !

Tim. A choiix- tale, fadi !

Jen. (Ill, sir Penurious is a moiteniertaitilflc
companion. Unit must be allowed.

Sir On: Good now, ay, ay, a miTry luaa]
Btit, lack -u-<ln«, would not the voung Indy choose
a Utile n-ni-ilimcut oAcr her rrdrf tkniur tea, or

Har. Hey. you knight '. No, no ; we intend to
dine with thee, mau. Well, )ou, Tiui. whatdosi
thiok of thy Iniher-in-hiw thitt 14 to l<e, hey f A
jolly cock, you. Till! : licy, link? But, pntbee,
bor, what do^t do with all this tawdry tiu»el on?
thnt hat und naihtcoat * Ira&h, knight, trajh I
more iu thy poi-kel, and less in thy dutlie»;
vou Dick ? ecod, you knight, I'll make you lai
I Hcut to Lxjudoj), you. Dick, laj>t year^ to
a murt^iiKe ; iind whiit iloei me, I, Dick,
take a trip to a cotTec-house in ^t Mnrtin*:
in comeii a l-'rench fellow fttrty times as hoe i^
Tim, with his mud* and parlevuuB, and his Fnit>-
C(^a; and liis bead, you knietit, as white with
powder, ct^-od, vou, as a twelfth cake: and who
the deril d'ye think, Dick, this ni^ be, Iwy,
yuu knight ?

Sir Gre. Good now, an atubuMdor, to be
sure.

ffur. Ecod. you knight, nor better nor wona
than Mynheer V'aucaprr, a Dutch figurt Jioc
at the opera house in the Hayiuarket.

Sir Oif. Wmiderful ! gnoil now, good now!

Har. Psha! Pox, pnthee, Tim, nobody drc^
tCH now ; nil plain - look at me, kmi;bt ; I tm w
the lip of the mode; now am I io full drm,
hey, Dick?

Jen. You, sir, don't want die aid of droas; but
in Mr (iiucctic, a litde regard to that pvbculw
is but a neccM^ry compliment to his mucrCM.

Hnr. Stuff*, Dick, stulT! my daughter, koicht.
has had othcrgueu breeding. Hey, you, .Suck,
come forward. Plain as a pike-sialt kniffat ; all
a» nature mude her; hev, TimP no flams. Pi>-
ihccVim, off wiih thy lace, and bum it; 't«iU
help to buy tlie licence i slic'll nut like ihcc •
bit the better fur that ; hey, Sack ? bat |iNi<
knight; ccod, Dick, a toast and tankard wudd
not be amih% after our walk ; liey, you }

Sir Gre. Good now, good now I WbK JM
win. sir PcnuriouB.

Hur. Ecod, Utat't, hearty, you ! but wt wmA
part the young cnople, ^ey ? ID tend Sack
bome bread aod dieesc in; bey, kiugbtf at bar.
S

FOOTE 3

mirnsii drama.

J6g,

Tiro. Come* Dick; cumc, jou knteliL Did I
ever lell v-nj ray courtship, bey, DJck? 'twill
ni«ke you lau^h.

J<n. N'ot, as I rcinernl»er.

■Sir Gr*. Lack-ifdiiv. let's have it.

Hot. Vou kn((w my ■wife wus blinds you,
kntcbt !

Sir Ore. Good ti»w, wonderful ! noi \.

Har. Blind as u hcntlu uhpn [ (narrirrl her,
kni^l; hey. Dick ^ she was dniwnrd in mir <ir-
rlwrd. Maid He^v kniehl, wetii to umrkct, yxi,
Dick; and wife mruhlcd iuto the nrrhaiH, :iud
soaic dn^ppcd into lUv ftsJa-poivl \\r round Iter
nut next any; but ^hc was dead a^ n lirtTlne;; no
hetp tor thni, Dick; hiined hvr, thouch, hos,
Tou ? She wus onlv dnushu-r tn jtir IVit^tmin
Murkworm, you ; rich enough, vou. ficv •" l-lctyf,
you, what df»c» ■ihc do, you. but ^hc lalli in lote
with r«»ungMeek, brr fathfr's c-hRplHin, lift, you?
Upon that, wliAt do#»mc i, hut slips on rlntnino's
rai>es« yoo, pnurd myself upon her for him, and
■re were lacked ti>ecihrr, yom, kuiglit, hey, ecud^
.thnufib I bcljne ihe iicvvr liked ntr : hiil what
sif;ni6c9 that, bey, Diek ? she was rit h, you. Uul
comr, lot's leave the childr<>n titi;ether.
Sir Grr. Sir, 1 wait un yuu.

IJttr. Nay, pniv

Sir Ore, ijtood now, good now, 'tis impossi-
ble.

Har. pox of ceremony ! Vuu, Dick, hey '
Eeod, kmglit, ni tell you a stJtrv. Unc of our
■■twiiMliliifi in France, yuu, a devilish |Kiliin fel-
low iccicMod, Dick ; ecod, y*tu, what due'', the
Ltn^ iif FmiKC do, but, mvs he, t'l] try the iniui-
nm uf tluA line [;euil('m»n : su, kniL'ht, eoini;; iii-
ta a coach. toc;ethcr. tin* Litif; would linrr inv
knd i^o firtt : oh, un't pIchm; your imiji-sty, I
cao'iindn-tl ; ynu, hey, Ditk? Up-m rtliiuh, vhni
does lac, the kiii>£, but he t«kc» hi<i una lhu«.
you, Dick; am J km*; of Fraoce, or you? U rt
my coarh, nr yours ? Aiid w pushes him ut thus

Sir Gre. Good now, ennd now ! he, lie, lie !

Har. Ecnd, Dick, I heileie I have luiide ti
Vltltake herr-; 1 sliould have^pitM! in tir^t ; hey,
Dick? Kiiiicht, cciid, yoit, ttcg; pnrdoii. Yrs;
vaor coarfa, am mint ; your bouse, nut wine :
bey. kcuidit ?

'Sir Gre, Woodorful ! A merry man, Mr Jeu-
kiiM,

{Eieatit thr tao ktti/;hts and .U.K.

7W. Father and cuumii arc gune, fulli uud

U toW- !

■ Jfnmy. I fuacv mj lover id a litde puzzlcfl Ituu

P aubri^ut.

Tim flow — fith and sole, I don't knoiv what
lu Mty. — [low d'^i; do, MtMs Suck 1
Jtmmy. Pretty well, tbauk, yuu.
7W Vuu haictiud a cligicc walk. Tls a rare
day, fatti aiKl »olc \

IJcumjf. Vc*; the day's well cauuf^h.
Tim. U your huuM: a good way od" here ?
Vol, 1».

Jeitny. Dree or vonr mile.
7T«. 'riiut'» u good \'»iz V'alk, ftidi !
Jtnnf/. I make notlitii}; of it, and iMirk aeain,
'I\m. Like eaow, [\Vhi*ttfu,

Jttmif. \!iiHfi»A

Tha. Ynti have a rare pipe of your oivn, mitts, j
Jeiiiiy. I ch;i siiio; loud eiioui^li, if I Imvi-' a
mind ; hut father don't love HUgiivj;.

!/SiM. Like i-now, [ \V/ii$ttfs.

Jrnntf. And 1 »n't nverfoiicl uf whi^lmi*.
Ttm. Hey ! ay, like enow : and I am a liiiier
biid sincer.

Jrtnif/. Hey ! »y, like entmsh-
Ttm. I'mv, jSii-'sSuck, did ever any body make
love to you bef-trc ?
Jrnnj^. Before when ?
Tin*. Before now.
Jfitnf/. What if I won't tell yon?
Tm. \Vhy, then, you must let it alone, fath
and sole.
Jenny. IJkc enough.

Ttm. Pniy, Mi^ Suck, did your father tcU yoD
any thing?

Jeint/. Abnut what?
'ilm. Alioitt r.
Jeany. What bhuuld a tcH?
Tim. Tell ! Why, as liow I and fatlier was
come a-wiH>ing.
Jrnng. Who.*

Tim, Whv, you. Could yoo like me for a
sweelhenrt. Miss Suck ?
Jenny. I don't know.

'Hm. Mayhap, somebody tnay ha* got your
good-will ulreody ?
Jrnny, And what llicn ?
VSjw. Tlini? Hey, 1 don't know. But if you

could fancy me

Jenny, for what?
7TtJrt. For vour iriif Inver —
Jennvt Well, whitt then?
'lira.' ■jlipii ! Hey ! Why, fath, we may chance
lo be mnrned, if the old folks a^rec together.

JcHuy. And suppose 1 won't bo married to
yon?

Tim. Nay, Miss Suck, I can't help It, fioli and
Mile. But father and mother htd inc come a-
courting; and if you won't ha' mo, I'll tell father
so.

Jenny. You are in a woundy hurry, methinlcs.
Tim. Not I, fath ! Vou may utay as long as —

£«/er Waiter,

Wait. There's a wiimaii witltout wants to speak
with Mr Timothv Gaiette,

TitH. That's J. I am (Jad on*L Well, Mi^s
Snck, yoiir wrvunl. You'll think about it ; nml
let's know your annd when I come Imck. Cod,
I don't care whether she like** me or no. I don't
like her half so well ui ftlally Pcngrouic-^^
Well, your servant. Miss Suck.

[Eait Tim.

170

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FoOTE.

Jenny. Wns there ever sucl> an unlitked ciiXi !
I Cim'c think hU fortune a sufiicient reward for
Mi<Ti6cing my jierson to such a boobjr ; hut as he
ha» money cnou{:h, it sbnll ^o hard but I p1cH>>e
myself: I fear I was a little tno backward with
my geiitlcnian ; but, however, a favniirable an-
swer to his labt question will soon settle matters.

Enffr Jenkins.

Jen. Now, Jenny, what news, child ? Are
things fixed ? arc you ready for the nuptial
knot?

Jenny. We arc in a fair way : I thought to
have quickened my swain's advances by a little
nffccted coynesf*, hut the trap would not take : I
expert him back in a minute, and then leave it
to my maunjicnif nt.

Jen. Where is hefsone?

Jenny. The drawer called him to some wo-
man.

Jeii. Woman! he neither knows, nnr is known,
by any body here. What can this mean? No
rnunter-plnt ? But, pox, that's impossible ! You
have not hinbbrd, Jenny ?

Jfnny. My interest would pre\-ent me.

Jeti. Upon that security any woman may, I
iliink, be trusted. I must after him, though.

r£.ri(jKN\

Jenny. T know the time when Jenkins would
not jiavc left me so hastily. Heigh ho !

Enter Hartop as §tR Pcnl'rious, andSiv.
GRtooar Gazctte.

Har. And so, you knight, says he you

Inow, kntf^ht, what losv dogs the miaisters were,
flien: how docs your pot — a pnt, you, that they
put over the tire to boil broth and roettt in — ^yon
liiive Aeen a put, you knight? how does your pot
b.>il thew troublesoine times? hey you ! £cod,
1I1V lord, says he, I don't know, I sfldom go into
)>'y kitchen. A kitchen, you knight, is a place
"fierc thiy dress victuais, roast and boil, and so
(■(irth : VjCiiA, says he, I seldom go into the kitch-
en— But I suppose, the scum is uppermost still !
Ih;y, you kiiiplit ! what, ccod, hey? But where's
your son, sir Grfftory ?

■Sir Gre. GoimI now, pood now Where is

I'jtn, Miss Sukey ? lack-u-day ! what is become
of Tim ?

Jenny. Gone out a tiny bit ; he'll be here pre-
stiitly.

.^r Gre. Wonderful ! good now, good now !

Wei!, and how, Miss Sukey has Tim? has

he, well ? and what, you have — wonderful \

Enter a Servant, with a letter.

Scr. Sir, 1 was commanded to deliver this in-
to MKir own hands, by Mr Jenkins.

ilur. I Icy. you ! what, a tetter ? ecod so !

I n-v^er, you ? hey ? ■ ■

Her. None, sir.

Sh Gre. Lock-a-day, sir Penurious is busy
Well, ini«s and did Tim do the thinp? did he
please ynii ? Coute now, tell us the whole story :
wonderful ! rare news for dame Wimiy ! lis,
Tim's father's own son ! But come, whisper —
ay.

liar. ' I have only time to (c|l yuu, that your
Rrhciiic is blasted : ' this instant I encountered
Mrs Penelope Trifle, with her niece ; they will
soon l« with you.' So, then, all is urer; hut let
us t-ee what expedition will do' ■ Well, you

kniiiht, hey ? what, have they settled ?— Is the
girl ivjllinp?

Sir Gre. Good now, good now ! right as my
leg! ah, Tim, little did I think— But, lack-a-
day, I wonder where the boy is I let us seek
him.

Bar. Agreed, you knight ; hey, come.

Enter Jenkins.

Sir Gre. Lack-a-day, here's ISIr Jenkins.

Good now, have you seen Tim ?

Jen. Your curioMty shall be immediately n-
ttsticd ; but I must first have a word with sir
Penurious.

Hfir. Well you! what, hey? — any newi.

Dick?

Jen. Better than yon could hope ; }'our rival
is disposed of.

Hor. Disposed of ! how?
Jen. Married by this time, you rogoc! — The
woniRu that wanted him was no other than Mat-
ly Pcngrouse, who trudjjed it up all the way af-
ter hini, as Tim says -. I have recommended them
to my chaplain, and before this the bustnesi ii
done.

Har. Bravissimo, you rogue ! but bow sblll I
get off with the knight ?

Jen. Nav, that must be your contnTance.
Hur. I have it — Suppose I was to own ibe
whole desii^n to sir Gregory, as oar plan has not
succeeded with his son ; and, aa lie seems to
have a tolerable regard for roe, it is ponUe
he may assist my scheme on sir Penurious.

Jen. Tis worth trying, however. Bat be
comes.

Sir Gre. Well, good now, Mr Jenkhu, htre
yuu seen Tim ? I can't think where the ba;^

Hur. *Tis now time, sir Gregory, toMtToo
clear witli respect to some particulars* I am no
longer sir Penutious Trifle, but your friciid uA
relation, Jack Hartop.

Sir Gre. Wonderful ! good now, good oo*,
cousin Hartop ! as J am a living mma—hej'~~
Well, but, good now I how, Mr Jenkins, her?

Jen. The story, sir Gregory, is rathn- too )u(<
to tell you now : but in two words — my fncM
Hartop has very long' had a posuon for Afin
Trifle, and was apprehensive your son's appBo"
tion would destroy his views — which in order ti
defeat, he assumed the character of sir Peeorh
Otis ; but he is so captivated with your iotqirit^

Toot ft,]

BRITISH DRAMA.

171

*ail fncndihip, that be rather cltooTew lo forego
his cwa iutercitt, than iiilcrnipi Uic ti^pincMi of
your son.

Sir Ore. Wonderful ! goml nnw, fpmi ivm%
that is kind ! w!ii> cauIiI liavc thought it, ctiitilii
liartup? l)ick-j-iUy! Well, but wliert'i Tita?
^^y> {i!*»il >K>w ! auil wliu an you ?

Jen. Itiis, sir, is Jcniiy, the htmdatairl of (lie
b<H»e,

Sir Grc. Wonderful ! a pe&ttlctit hiissy ) —
Ah, Ilartup, you itre it wag ! n pitc of Y'>ur (xtts,
and your roval nakf, ! lack-ft-<lnv, who coulil ha'

thoasUl— ^ -uli, Jeiiny, you're u — But ultcfc's

Tim?

Eater Rtn Gnzoour's lervant
Sirr. Woutxls, master! iiercr stir iiiive Ifinn^-

tcr Tioi hA» lui j;onc uiid iiuifr>i:d Mully Vea-

grcMuei

Sir Grt. WoiidRrfiil \ how, fiirrati, Itow ! frond

BOW, p»^\ uuw, c(iu«in llnrtop — M»tly I'cii-

iroa^ ! Who tlic fli'tLcn^ in b!u- ;
Str. Usftter iiinoiJiv's swecthcurt in Curn-

Sir Ore. And how cKiui: *he here? IncL-n-
davi cousin!
&r. Slic cnimp(>f) it up after muster. Miistcr

itliy i» wittii>ut, ngrtd .layn »s hotv tlicy be
ied. i

^r Atfned. i wnnteil hun lt> oiuic tu, but he's
tfrwd Tnu'U kjiucl'o dowu.

Sir Gt€. Knuck'u down ! Good now, let me
coax at him ! I'll — ah, roi^uc ! LacL-a-day, cuu-
Bii, show tuc where lie is ! I'll— ^

Mar. Moderate your fury, good sir Gregory;
coittid^, it IS lui e<ril without n remedy.

Sir Grt. But Mhnt trill Dame Wiiiny <uiy?
Good now, such a diitpnrAgciiicQt co — aod, tlicn,
wbftl mil kir Penurinus sny ? lack-a-dny. I nm at-
nosc diftracied 1 And you, you luMtcrly dog '

^why did not ynu — I'lJ— oh, eouftiu lUrtup, inu-
bin Ifnrtop ! ptoA now, i;oo<l iiou' !
Hmr. Ut^ar nf, be cilm ; this \-i no xurh «ur-
pning nuinrr: mc have such iii9tjiuce» in the
Dcwmpcn c«-cry dny.

Sir Grt. Oiiod now ! no cousin, no.
Si»r. Indeed, «ir Gri-gory, it vin% tmt last
wccfc that lord Lofty 's son mnrried his inutbcr's
nnad; aad lady tktty rnm-Brd nia away, not a
BKMlh mo, with her uncle's butlvr.

Sir Grt. Wonderful! what, in the news? —
Good BOW, that's Mine comfort, luiwevcr; but

what will sir Pcourtous

liar. As to that, leave hiiu to nic ; I hai'C a
pfojcd to pn-vcat his lau;;hing nt you, I'll war-

Mr Cre. fiut how ? bow, cousin Harlop,

7«r. Sir Gregory, do you tlunk me your

!jir Grt. Lack-a-dny! ay, couiiu, uy.
//at. And wrjuM ynu, in return, serve tnc in a
Dcc that can't iitjurc yourself f

&r Gre. Good now, to be sure, couvin.

Har. Will you, thru, ftennti ntc to assume i
the licurc of your stin, und so pay my nddrcsftcs"
to Miss TriflL-? I was pretty happv in tlit- iiiiita- ■
lion of her fntlier; aud if I cituld iinpr)<;e upnn
your sagacity, I shall 5nd less dilticulty widi
your brother koii^ht.

Sir Grr.. Good now, Tim I all, you could not
touch Tim.

Hitr. I Marraut yao. But, see, theyoan<;gcn<
ilciiuiii.

Sir Grc. AU, Tim, Tim! liitlc did I Good

ilOtr, good now !

'Jim, I could not help il now, £uh end snip:
but if you'll furgivc mo this time, 1*11 never do so
ao more.

.Sir Gff. Well, well, if thee nin'*t furpivcihv-
v)f, I C11II fiirgiic iliee; but ttinuk my couun
llartop.

Har. Oh, sir ! If you are sntisfied, I am re-
warded. I w ish ynu jny ; jay to you^ child !

Tim. ThniiLt, cuumu lUirtup.

Enter Wuiter.

Wait. Sir, Mrs Penelope Trifle, withlicrnipre,
beiiif; come lo lowu, mid hraniiu yt>ur wurship
was in the houst. would be glud Vj pay yuu their
compliments.

Sir Gre. Lack-a-day ! wonderful ! here we
arc nil Mjosy-iurvt-y fi(;uiii ! What can be done
now. cousin Ilartop ?

Hur. Did: ! slmw the ladies in here; but de-
lay them a little. The IuiLil-sI intidrnt in tij«
world, *ir Gnjgory ! If you'll U: kind enough m
lend jcdkiiift your drtss, nnd Slniter Tiinolhy
will lend me his, I'll make up mattur^ in a m<i-
ment.

Sir Gre. Ay, oy, cousin.

Tim. Path and sole, you shall hare mine
direc

Har. No, no ! Step into the next room a mi-
nute, sir Gr^ory.

Sir Cre. Aye, aye, wliere tom mIU.

71m. FaiUi,'hcrc will be choice sport.

[Exfuttt.

Eater Mns pEitrtOPc and .Stca, wi74
Waiter.

Wait. The gentleman will wait im you present-
ly. Would vou choo*c any rcfr(»hinrnr ?

Suek. A draught of ale, friend, for I aiQ main
drv.

Mrs Pen. Fic, fie, niece ! is that liouor for a
youQR lady? Don't dispurage vour family and
breeding. The person is to be born tluit erir
saw ine touch any thing stronger tlian water till
I ivas tliiec-and twenty.

Suik. Troth, aunt, that i« so Ion? ago, that I
tliiuk there's few people alire w!io caii remem-
ber what you did, then.

ir«

BRITISH DRAMA.

CFOOTB.

Jkfn Pen. Haw, gilinirl ? noiic of your fl«rs !
I am i;lu(l licrr's a hu*'band coining; that will take

JDU down ; Vmir iiiiitnnns ! Yqu art* grown loo
eadslrini'i and rti!»»«.t for me.
Suck, (iacl, I Iteltei-c yon would be glad to he
^lakt^ down the same way !

Mrt Fen, (ill ! you are a pert But,

frc, vour \o\ct approRchei. Now, Sukcy, be
careful, child ; None of jrcmr

Enter Js.ss.xvSt oc Sir GaccoaY, anil IlAMtor
mTcm.

Jea. LAck-a-<!ay. lady '- I rcjo'irc lo see you.
Womlerfid ! oud your niece ! Tim, the ladies.

Hor. V<iiirM:n'Ai>l, ntUtrrM ! 1 nrn ^iad to sec
you, Miw. Suck. [SnlnUs her.] FaiIi lUid sole,
mistress. Suck's a tine yuun^ woman, mure or
les»!

Suck. Yes I nm well cnonsh, I bclicre.

Jrit. Rut, lady, wlierc's my brother Trifle ?
where is ^ir Peiiurinu!. f

Suck. FaitierSat home, in expectation of you ;
and aunt and 1 be cotne to town ui make prepn-
rorioiift.

Jea. Ay, womUrfnl ! Hray, Indy, »hall I, good
nnvf ! crave a word in privnte? Tim, will you
«od vour sntctticiirt draw back a liltle ?

Wor. Yes, father. Cume, miss, will you jog a
lint bit this way?

iluck. With nil my bcart.

Jen. Tbcre ik, lady, a wonderful aflfhir hns
l)np|M.'ned, good now ! Son Tim has fallen in love
vtith a youtt^ wumnn at hi» utide's, am) *tiA pnrt-
ly tn preieni bad conM!quci>ces ttwt I am, lack-
■ day ! so hasty to iiiufch him : and one of my
men, p<>od now ! lells me that he has seen the
«euch ^ince mc tuive been in town ; f>he lias fol-
lowed us here, «urc ns n §un, lady ! if Tim sees
the girl, he'll never marry your niece.

Mn I'CH. It ill, indeed, mr Ort;t'ory Ga7«tte, a
most cnliral conjuncture, and requires the mont
mature deUbcrntioit.

Jrn. ncliKration! Uck-a*day, Indy, whilst wc
delibcratr ihf boy will ht lost.

Mis l*en. Why, sir (Jregury Gazette, whet
Oftrntiornriiti nt; drtFrininc 'ipun ?

Jrn. T^(*k-a-'l«y ! I know but one,

Mi-i Pen. .Administer vour proposition, sir
CirfEory GHKlle: yiw wdl liave my cnncur-
iriut-, sir, in any thing that docs not deit^te
from the repulntions of conduct ; for it would be
infj« prcpu*tentu» in nne of my character, to de-
viulc fnim the strictest attention.

J*-n. Lack-s-daVr lady ! no soch matter is

wantetl. Hut, good now ! pould not we tnck llw
yoMiijr coiiplp t'lCfllii'r directly? your brother
and 1 have aUcudv a|>recd.

Mr% prn. Arc lite prerious preliminaries Kt-
lle<l, Mr Vresnry (Jiwrtte?

Jfu. Good now '. ma firm as a rock, lady.

Mr$ Hrn. Why. then, tn prc5cr\T your »nn,
and Bccumpluli the uuitui between uur families.

I hit e uu ubjectloDs lo U»e acceleration of their
nu)>(inl«. provided the child i-» inclined, and a
miiiibtL-r inity be priKrured.

Jen. \\'undcrful ! ynu are rery pood, ^ood
now ! tliere has been one match already in the
Ikiu^ tn-dny: we may hare the nme parson.

Here, Tim ! and younif centlewoman \ Well,

mis!i ! wcKidi-rfiil, and hnw^ has Tun ? hev, bojl
l^ not 11 miss a line vnui^ lady?

Har. I'liith mid sole, father, miss isacharmtQC
miunp woman ; nil red and white, tike Alally —
Uam*

Jen. HuhH, Tim ! Welt, and miss, bow does
niv bny? he's an honest hearty lad? Has be.
iiHid nnw ! bad the art? Uuw d'ye like hiar
juuny eeiitlcwiMnan ?

.Surk. like'n ! well enough, I think.

Jc'i. Why, ilicn, niies, triih yoor leave, voor
rnmt and 1. here, Iuul- agreed, if* you are wjlb'n*^,
to hnvf tb*" weddioz over directly.

.*iuck. Gad! with nil my heart, htk the
yxihg man.

Har. Fnitlt and sole, just as yna pleaw; lo-
d«v, (it-mniTow, or when you will, more or leai.

Jen, Goud oijw, cf>od now ! then, get you in
there; there vou nill tiod one to dn vour bun-
nev»: wi.nderlul! matters will soon l>c manvctd
nttbin. Well, Iwdy. this was, good uow. vi kind!
Lack-anluv ! I verity bclioe if dame WinnywB
dciiH, that I should Ite ^lad to lead up Micb awh
ther dnncc with yon, bidy.

Atn Fen. You are, sir, mmething ton prerspt'
tntc: Nor would there, did circutustuncn con*
cur, a!t YOU insinuate, be so absolute a cemtiuir,
ilmt I, who have rejected so mauy taaicbes.
should instantnncoucly succumb.

Jeit. Lflck-a-day, lady, goud now ! I. —

Mn Pen, No, sir ; ! would have you imimrt-
ed, that had ncjt Pciiclnpe Trifle mode irreft*
gable resnlotjtins, she .need not so long have pre-
scr>i-d tier funiilv sorname.

JrH. Wonderful ! whv, I wa? onW

Mrs I'en. Nar hoi tlie tillc n( iady Gaxritt
wch ri'tiplcndrnt <:hanns or such hcwitchinc;il*
luruuKMit^, as lo tht^)w me at unce into the am
of -iir Gregorv.

Jni. Good now ! who snvs

Mn Pen. Could wealth,' beauty, or thief o*
pt'ijor to, pcrhiipi

Enter Sii a GaboonT, Roccn. ariJTiM.

'/tin. Yes, indepd. father ; Mr Harinp lw«
oii't as well as I , and Mr Jenkins got us « |tf*
son

Sir Ore. Ihiful ni>w. good now ! a rare owp**
of iVieiids! H'lt I'll he even with tlwm! iH
murr iht'tr nuu-kct ! Masicr JcnkinA, yoe bsft
fobbed nit finely.

Jrn. Lnck-a-tltiy, what's ibc nuitter «■•■•■ '

Sir Gte. Comi', niiut; ; o'lnt* of v(»i!i
days ! iH>ne of your gtnmbots, ii«>rymir !/»•>
me : Guud now, good now ! give me ny dotT

Foots.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

17S

I

I

here, tnke jour tawdry trnppin^ ! I hive found
you out at lust : I'll be no Ioii{;it vciur nntperty.

Jtn. Wonderful ! miIuU's all thit, lanv ? Good
Qow, pood now! what's here ! a stage play i

Sir Orr. Play m*' no plays ; but give me my
•rig; and your precious frieiiij, my loving cousin,
piu on the kindred, Icl'n—

Jen. Good now, good now ! nhat ore tliesc
folks i mt «ure ua a j^uii, they're mad.

Sir Gre. M»d ! no, no ; mc are neither mad
nor fooU : no thanks tn you, lhoMt|;h.

3fn Pen. What is all thi5: ran you unraTc)
this pcrple&ity, uutwioe this uiyjtery, sir Grego-
ry Gaiette ?

SirOr€. He sir Gregory Cii-«;lte ? Ij*ck-n-
day, Udy ! yoa arc tricked, impuM-'d upon, bam-
IxKRleri : Good now, good nov ! 'ti» I am sir
Gn?)if>rv Gajrltu.

ilrt'Pem. lluw t

1^. Faith aod mk, 'tif true, iiustrc<6 ; and I
an hit Mil Tim, and will swear iL

Mri Pem. Why, iiti't -Mr Timothy Gazette
with my niece Susannah Trifle }

XiM, W lio, me ! Lnrd. no, 'tis none of I ; it i^
cousin Hartop iu my cloaliis.

Air» I*rft. Wliot's tliii? luidpray, v»ho

Jen. U'hy. as I see tho alniir is concluded,
you m*y, niadaia, call lue Jenkins Come, llai^
cop, yoa may uuw throw olT _<vour dis^mM;; the
kniffht had like Co haf c emburnused ui.

iir$ Hrn. How, Mr Jeiikim ! and would yoU;
■r, partiopaic of a plot to

Har. Madam, in the iseufl, yotir family will, I
hnpe, have no ^reat reatton to repent. I tilw:iv«
tiiid the greatest veneration for Miss IViielope
lnfle'5 under*>tBndint; ; if the highest etttcem Tor
her virtue* can entitle me to the bouuur of being
rcfiarded as her relation —

Mrs Pen, Sir, I shall dctem>ine oft nothing,
'till I am apprised of my brotlter'n resolution.

Har. Vnr that we mu^t waiL Sir Gregory, I 1
luU'St inlrcnt you and your son's pardon for some
liule liberties I haTc taken with you b*>lh. Mr
.Ictikins, I have the higliest olj1i>:ation ta your
friendAhip; and, niisis whence become a little
bcTtcr acT]uainied, 1 tlatter myself ttie change
win lint prove unpleasin;;.

Sutk. I knmv notliing at all abo'jt it.

liar. Sir Gregory, we shall liave yoar compie
iiy at dinner?

Sir Gre. Lack-a-day ! no, no ; that boy ha4
spoiled my »toninrh. Come, 'Hm, fetch thy n'l^
and let us be joziii"? towanls Wales; but how
lliou wilt gel ulf witlv Hiy mother

'lim. Never feor, father

Since you're been pleased our nuptial knot

to bless.
We shall be happy all our lives more or

le!»9. I

[Exeunt onutft, !

THE

APPRENTICE-

vr

MURPHY.

DRAMATIS PERSON^E.

MEN.

\iinaKT^ap<uuonateoldmany}^articularliffond
of money and figures, and mvotuntanltf un-
eanf about kU ton.

Dick, kit ion, bound to en apothecary, and fond
of going on the stage.

Gargle, an apothecary.

SiMox, servant ^oGarole.

Catchpol£, a bailiff.

Scotchman.

Irishman.

WOMEN.

Charlotte, daughter to Garoli.

^outing-cbUtf Watchmen, ^c.
Scene— 'London.

ACT. I.

SCENE-I.
Enter WiNGATE and Siuoh.

Win. Nat, nay, but I tell you I am convinced
—I know it is so; and so, fnetid, don't ;nu think
to trifle with me ; — I know jou're in the plot, you
Bcoandrel ; and if you don't discover all. 111 —

5m. Dear heart, sir, you won't give a body
time. —

Win. Zookers ! a whole month missing, and
no accoant of him, far or near ; wounds! 'tis un-
accountable Look ye, friend, don't you pre-
tend

Sim. Lord, sir ! you're so main pasuonate, you
won't let a body speak.

Wm. Speak out then, and don't stand mutter*
inc : what a lubberly fellow you nre ! ha, ha ! —
Why don't you ?peak out, you blockhead ?

Sim. Lotid, sir, to be sure, the gentleman is a
fine young gentleman, and a sweet young gentle-

man— but, lack-arday, sr ! how should I kno*
any thing of him }

Wm. ^rrab, T say he could not be 'prentice to
your master so long, and you live so lot^ in oos
house with him, without knowii^ his haunts, sod
all his ways ; and then, variet, what brings joo
here to my house so often ?

Sim. My master Gargle and I, sir, are w ub-
easy about un, that I have been running all ofcr
the town since morning, to enquire far nn ; tid
ao ill my way, I thouf^c I might as well csQ
here —

Win. A villain, to give his father all tbb CM-
ble ! and so, you have not beard any thing of biB»
friend ?

Sim. Not a word, sir, as I hope for mucf^-
though, as sure as you are there, I believe I cip
guess what's come on un. As sare as any ^Mft
master, the gypsies have gotten held <» un, aiu
we shall have un come Mne, as thin as a nke.

MtlRPH^

BRITISH DRAMA.

179

like the yavmg prl in (Ke cttj^ with lirtnf; upon
nothuig but crusb luul watcf for &is-ui(J-twciity

Wau The Kypics liavo got hpld of him, ye

Muckbout ! Get out of the room Here, you

Siinoa!

Sim. *!ir?

H'l*. Where are yaa jcnine in such a Irurry? —
Lkioc «<«; whnt mu«t be (Iodc? — A ridiculous
oam»kull, with hi? tlnmncd Cas$iuidcrA and Clop-
painu and irunipcrv; with hi» romnnccft, nnd
nib Odyssey Popi-s and a parcel nf rascals not
worth a enuit — wcarii^ stone buckles, nnd cucL-
ing ta» hat — 1 ncvi-r wear stone buf^lt^, never
OMrk Div liat. But, zoukcrs ! Ill nut put myself
ia a passion. Simon, do you Mcp back to vour
HMKrr, m» frwnd Oarple, and tell him I want to
ipeak wiih him — though I don't know wti»i I
■mUd *rnrt for hini for— a sly, stow, hesitnting
UocUieod ! he'll only plague utc witli his pliysi-
Cil oat and hi> iioilm-ilv — Why Hoo't you "yo,
Jim bkflbv, when [ bid you f

Sim. Ye^vr. [Erit.

Win. Thia fellow will he the death of me nt
iMt; I can't sleep in my bed Miinctimcit for him.
Aa abfurd, insigiitlicant ruscal — to stand in [ii»
MM hfhl ! Dnith and fury, ihnt wc can't get
(Wdren, without hnvm^ a love for tliem ! I ha^fr
l»m tunnoijing for th*' fellow all tlwr day» of mv
life, and now the scoiindrers run away — Suppose
t idverttw the tUv^, and pminiM! a rcwani tti anv
•nr that can give an account of him— well, but—
*tiy ibould I throw away my mnney nfcer him ?
why. u I don't ^y wlmt reward, I mnv pvc
•hat I plea«e when they come — ny, but if tfie
fiilain 9ho<ild deceive mr, and huppcn to be
dead; why, tlieti, l>e tricks me. out of two sliiU
lia^; nj montfs llunK into the fire. Z'N>kt-^^ !
ru not pot myself in a passion; let him fulhtw
hit noic; '(n nothine at all to me; what care 1 ?
^^-WImc do you come back fur, friend }

Rt-enterStvan.

Sim. As I vBi eoine out, sir, the post came to
tbe dndr. and hniix^lit this letter.

U'lft Irt me »oe it Tlie gypsic* have

t\{ him ! ha, lia ! what a pretty fellow
j hn, hn*. wliy don't vou step wliere I bid

ah ? '

Stm, Ye*, •ir. [Erif.

Win. Wfll, wril Pin resolved, and it stmll

W wo - ru advertise him lit-niurruw ln«^lil^;,
snd promiie, if he conies home, all shall be fur-
pirti: and when the hlockhcnd cnincs, I mnv
do a« 1 please — ha. lui ! I may do as I plensc ! —
Lrt mr ftce: He had on — a vilvcr-loopcd hat : 1
a««rrtikCTi tJujscvilf^lvrr-loops — Asfvcr-looped
bu; and — and^-Sliilikin<t, whnt MgniHc^ what he
had on? — ru read my Icltrr, nnd think uo more
ifevitt him. Hey f what a plasire hav« we here?

I Muttirt to hunsel/^ Bristol-
this?

-a ^what's alf

* Esteemed friend,

* Last was iOih ultimo, unce none of thtm;,
' whirh will occasion brevity. The reason of my

* writing to thee at present, it, to uiforni tlice, that
' thy son came to our plnco with a company of
' fttiotlrrs, who were taken up by the maf^ii^trate.
' mid committed, as vjutabouds, tojnji.' — Zt'okeni!
I'm glad of it — a villain of a fellow ! Let him Ue
there ' 1 am sorry ihy hd should follow

* such profane courses ; but, out of the oteem I
' bear unto thee, I have token Oiy buy out *f con-
' fineuu-nt, and sent him olf for your dry in ihtt
' vfOfffta, which li-fl this four days a^o. lie is

* aii^iied to thy address, being the needful from

* thy friend and servant,

* Ebeenef-zok Brdidbbim*

Wounds ! what did he take the fellow ou! for?
a fcouudrcl, rascal ! turned staso-player ! — I'll
nerer see the villnin's face — Who comes there ?

Enter Simok.

Sim. I met mv ma.4cr im the way, sir — oar
cares are over : Here he is, sir.

iritt. Let him come in — and do yov. eo down
■tairs, you blockhead. [£ait Siuon.

Enter CAiiGtz.

Win. So friend Gargle, here's a fine pierc of
work — Dick's tnined vacnbi^nd !

Gar, He nm«t be pu; binder a proper regimen
dirccdy, bir: lie arrived at mv boui.c Midiio
these ten minutes, hut in siic)i n trim ! he't now
below Htnint; I jadix^d it projKir to te:ive liim
there, tilt I had prepund you for his rcceptioo.

Win. Death nnd hre ! whnt couM put it tato
the villain's head to turn butr<>on/

Oar. NoUiing so easily arco'iuted for : Why»
when he ought to be leadins the dibpeusatury*
tiicre was he cnostajitly reading over plays and
fnrri-^, and Sh8kr-^pC)l^f!.

Mill. Ay, tlwt damned Sh.ike»pfare ! I hear
the fellow was nnlhinp; hut n dci'r-8t«-alcr in War-
wicU»ttiirc : Zookcrs ! if they had liHU|;cd him out
of the way. he would nnt now be the ruin of ho-
nest men's children, liut wliat rit:ht had lie to
rend Slinkcspcnre? I never read Shakespeare!
WuuitH> ! I cau'iht the rascal, myself, reading
tliiit nonseasirnl piay of Hamkt, « here titc priooe
is kci'jMng company with strollere and vagatioiMU :
A fine ck-impic, Mr Garble!

Gar. His disorder is uf llir malipmnt kind,
nnd my dHu;;hter lin» taken live infection from
him— bless my heart! she was as innocent as
water-gruel, ull he spoilt her. I found her, thv
other mfjiiif in the very facts

176

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Mbbpht,

Win. Zookers ! you doi^t say ao?— caugbt ber
in the fact !

Gar. Ay, ia the verj fact of reading a play-
book in bed.

Km. (), is that the factyoa mean? Is that
all i though that's bad enough.

Gar. But I have done for ray yoane madam :
I have confiaed her to her room, and locked up
all lier books.

Win. Look ye, friend Gaivie, Fll never see
the villaiu's face : Let him foUovr lus nose, and
bite the bridle.

Gar. Lenitives, Mr Wingatc, lenidves are
properest at present: His habit requires gende
alteratives E but leave hiro to my management ;
about twenty ounces of blood, with a cephalic
tincture, and he may do very well.

Win. Where is the scoundrel ?

Gar. Dear sir, moderate your anger, and don't
use such harsh language.

Win. Harsh language '. Wh^, do you think,
man, I'd call him a scoundrel, if I had not a re-
gard for bimi You don't hear me call a stranger
a scoundrel t

Gar. Dear sir, he may still do very well ; the
boy has very good sentiments.

Win. Sentiment ! a fig for sentiment ! let him
get money, and never miss an opportunity — I n^
ver missed an opportunity ; got up at five in the
morning; struck n light; made my own fire;
worked my finger's ciids; and this vagabond of a
fellow is going his own way — with all my heart;
what care I? lei him follow his nose; let him
follow his nose — a ridiculous

Gar. Ay, ridiculous, indeed, sir — Why, for a
k>np time past, he could not converse in the Ian-
^i^e of common sense. Ask him but a trivial
questicH), and he'd give some cramp answer out
of some of his plays thai had been running in his
head, and so there's no uoderstandlug a word he
says.

irin. Zookers ! this comes of his keeping com-
pany with wits, and be damned to them for wits,
ha, ha! Wits ! a tine thine indeed, ha, ha ! Tis
the most beggariy, rascal^, contemptible thing
on earth !

Gar. And then, sir, I have found out that he
went three times a-weck to a spoti ting-club.

Win. A spouttog-club, friend Gargle! What's
a mouting-cluh?

Gar. A meeting of 'prentiras and clerics, and
giddy young men, intoxicated with plays ; and so
they meet in public-bouses to act speeches; there
they all neglect business, despise the advice of
their friends, and think of nothing but to become
actors.

Win. You don't say so ! — -a spoutiug^club !
wounds I I beiirve they are all mud.

Gar. Ay, mad indeed, sir: Madness is occa-
sioned ill a very extraordinary manner ; the spi-
rits flowing in particular chaiuieb—

.1

Win. "Sdeatfa, you*re as mad younelf as any of
them!

Gar. And continuing to ran in the same
ducts —

Win. Ducks ! Damn your docks ! — ^Who^ be-
low there ?

Gar. The texture of the brain berooies (fisor*
dcred, and — [Wingate walks about unenilif,
and Gabgle /'o/^i.]— -thus, by the pressure oo
the nerves, the head is disturbed, and so jonr
son's malady is ccmtracted. —

Win, Wbo's without there ?— Don't pUgw ne
so, man.

Gar. Bot I shall alter the morbid state ef the
juices, correct his blood, and produce laydable
chyle.

'}Vin, Zookers, friend Oarg^, doo*t tene asa
so ; don't plague me with your pbysicat nonsensa
—Wbo's below there? Tell that fellow to come
up.

Gar. Dear sir, be a little cool — Inflamma-
tories may be dangerous. Do^ W» ''''> Oi^od^
rate your passions.

Ifln. Prithee, he quiet, man — HI t|j whit I
can do— Here he comes.

Enter Dick,

Dick. Now, my good father, wkmft the met*
terf

Win. So, friend, you have been upon your tn>
vels, have you i You have had your frolic f Look
ye, young man, I'll not put myself in a passioB!
Uut, death and fire, you scoundrel, what ligbl
have you to plngue ine iu this numner i Do yoa
think I must faO in love with your face, becaas
I am your father?

Di^ A tittle more than kin, amd lea tha
kind.

Win. Ha, ha ! what a pret^ figure jon cat
now ! ha, ha ! — why don't you speu, yoa blod*
head ? Have you nothing to say for yourself?

Dick. Nothing to say for yourself! — Wbatn
old pHg-it is!

Wtn. MiuH rae, friend — I have found yoo out;
I see you'll never come to sood. Turn sugp*

E layer I Wounds ! you'll not nave an eye in foor
ead in a month, ha, ha ! youll hafc mai
knorkcd out of the sockets with withered qifilMf
remi'iuber I tell you so.

Dick. A critic too ! [Whistlea.] Well doK^
old Square-toes !

Win. Look ye, young man ; take notice of whit
I say: I made my own fortune, and Z coold^
the same again. Wounds I if I were placed at
the bottom of Chancery-lane, with a bnidi Md
black-ball, I'd make my own fortune affjn—jt^
read Shakespeare ! — Get Cocker*s ArithmMic;
you may buy it for a shilling on any atalt— bttf
book tliat ever was wrote.

Dick. Pretty well, that; ingeoiou!^ faitb!^

Murphy.]

BKITISH DRAMA.

m

Egad, the oU fellow hat s pretty Dotioa of \tU
ten!

Win. Cm Toa tell how much is fivc-CM;hth9of
ihree-fliiiecnUKufafinund ? Five-ritrbthsut' ihntc
mCMniht of B poumi. Ay, »y, 1 sm.* vou're a
bfodkfatad ; look ye, yiuii|E nuin, tl' vmi have a
taisd >o thrive in lius world, stmlv ^l('irc^. nnt)
make TOuncIt' usAfiil ; make ynurwiru-scrul.

Dick. Hmt we&ry^ ttole,fiat, and $tnprofitabU,
Iftm to mr ult the vsri of'thii aorlJ /

H'ln. Mtnd ilw •■mimtlrcl iwnv-

Oor. V^K Mr Wiiipafc, iet mc speak tn him —
•oftly, softly ; I'll touch hiin gently : Cuinc, cntnc,
yoniif; tnnn, iny a«ido this sulky humour, and
^penlt as bei-oine» a soil.

Dick. O Jffrtha, jtuts' o/hraelj what a trta-
turr htuht thou !

Win. WInt docs the fellow sat?

Our, Wv rcli-iils, sir. Coin«, camr, ^oun

man, he'll fontiw ■

Dick Tkty fool me to the top iff mt/ hfmt-

Gad. I'll hum *ein tu ^et ml of Viu — a truant
diafomtrnftiy good my lord — No, ao. Htnv, tltut's
aoc Hghi; I nave a hen«r spr^h— if u tu you
My; whem ue are tober, and rrjUct but rvtr so
itttle on our /oilin, wt are a^amed and ittrrt/ ;
amd yet, the xery next m'mtUCt a^ ruih u^a^n
imta the rtry tttme abmrilititt,

W»M. Well Mid, lail, well laid! mind me.
(nvwi : CorniiiAiitlinf; our own pasaioQ% anil art-
fully taking advailtaea of oCfaer peoples, is tbc
MK nnd 10 wealth : Dcatli and fini ! but 1
woo't put myvtlf in a posvon: Tis my regard
hxr you makes mc spciik ; and if I tdJ you yuu'rv
a soiujulrri, 'li>i for voiir K'xid.

I>kk. ^^tthuuc doubt, sir. [SititUag a iantih.
Wia. U you want any thing, vuu sluiil be pro-
rWed : have- you miv money in your pocket?
Ita. ha ! uliai u niliruioutuuutskull you are now \
ha, h« ! C'oTue, htre's ton>e iwmt-y fur >oii —
\ Pulls out ku money, and Utoksatit.^ I'll ^i\c
tt to ymj tuMtlicr time; atid w vuu'll mind nhac
I «y ID you, and make yuurself umIuI fur tlic
fmtmtt.

Okk. C/k^ Vihertfort breathe Una Christum
imSf

Win. Zookm! you blockhead, TOu'd liciier
«ciclc tu your hti^ineu, iiiia turn hu^mn, nod i;et
cmndMOM broke upwi your arm, and hti lutn-
bUli^wpcwi carfMrt».

DieJk. / thai/ III afi my hfst <>bty you, tir.
Wm. Vety welt, friifiid; very wtUI w\id— — you
Mf <ta rery well if you pIvuM;; atid m> I'll My
••m-ireta yoii, btit m.ike y<*un)clf oseful; and
«a DOW, go and dean yom-Klf, iind make ready u>
(D hoiac tu your buatucas; ami mind me, yoan^
mtm, Ult tna wv ici mure play-books, and let mt:
MCWr (Snd that yoq vwnr a Inced waistcoHt — you
veomidrel, what riulic have yuu to wear a liux'd
^waKiaa*t I never wore »'. i.iccd waistoniC: ue-
^ vvT wmv WW oU I wat tuny. But I'U not put

myself in « paisioa;
friend,

Dick. I ihall, iiir-

Go and change your drcssi

/ nmit he rrwf/, onfy (e be kind :

Thus bad hegttu, but s.-orse reaiuins behUd.

Cocker's Arithmetic, sir?

Win, Ay,Cuckpr'i) Artihmciic. Study iigurei,]
and they'll i-arry you throuuh the world.

Dick. Yes, sir, [Stifimg a laugh] Cockerli i
Arithmetic ! \ kul Diet,

Win, Ijct liim miiiti me, friend (jurgle, aiiil
I'll make a luau uC tiioi.

Gar, Ay, air, you know the world- The youns;
niiin will do utv well. I widi \w were out tii \
his tliiie; Ite shall llien tuiie my dimjthtrr.

Win. Yes, hut I'll touch ihu c:uh — he shan't
AntM it during my life I mu»t kL>cfi it linht
Ittad owr him. fCtufJ lo the liour.] Un ye hear,
friem! f .Mind vvlmt 1 vty, nitd pt limne to yimr
huniiien immediutely. Friend Ourt;le, I'll uiuko
a man of him

Enter Dif K.

Dick. Who eaiUd on Achtntt ? Did not Eur-
barosta r^ifHtir mf krrt f

Win. \\ hiit'.s iIm: iiuittrr now? &iro»sa*

VVounda ! VMiiitV Uukism? Does the fvllow call
tne nauKs? Whiit niiikcn the blocklicad acuud m
sufh confusion?

Dick. That llarbarosm sttMild tUMpcct uy
truth .'

Win. The fellow's «t«rk stnrintE mod ! Get out
of liie routn f you villain, eel iwi of the roum !

[UiCk atuiid* ifi a iufUn itNitMl.

Gnr, Come, c nuc, youiv* uinn, eiery tluoj 15
L*a&y; diui'l spoil all u£uin. Cio iikI cjuuiue yoor
drc>», and cmnc lioiiu: to your husiuON — cuy,
nov. be nik-d by me. f T*''!'*/* him of)'.

Win. Vwx very percmpt'try, fn«nd < iari:le ; if
he vckC!* ini' once iui«re, I'll hiue iiottmi^ to say
to hJui. Well, but now i think of it, 1 have
Cficker's arithmetic below stnirs in the couiitmK-
iioii.<ie : 111 Mep nnd i^et it for him, aud w) ho
shall lake it home wiiU him. Frieud Carnlei
yiMir •«ervnnt.

Gar. Mr Winpite. a cood evening to yon;
you'll send biut hutne to hts b^tuneM.

Wia. He shall full«<WTou home dtrM?tIv. Five-
erghthn of tlin-ixiixteeiilhit of a pound ! Multiply
ihf.- uuuieniuir by the denonniiiKor ; livetitiir*
tixtccn is ten Utnes ci;:hi, icti times fiJu ig
eighty, »nd a — u — turry one. \^iUit.

Enter DirK nnd^tMOS.

Sim. I^rd love yc, masitr — I'm vt eM you're
ocniu linck — (Jiiuic, mr laid us eoud e'en (ui>t
home to my umstcr Gargle's-

X7B

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Mdrfht.

Dirk. No, no, Simon, stay « momcDt ; this it
l>m a w.ur\y totit I have on, and 1 knoi* mv fa-
ther hu*. fti«ayit N>in«' jemmy llimi: lorled tip m
htrt rlrnet. I Lnn»\ his ways; ht fakes tliciii in
imwi), tor he'll ne»'er \MTX with u shilliug without
wciiritv.

iMM. Iltifrh ! he*ll hi-ar uv S(ajr, 1 believe he's
coining up stairs

Dirk. }Omt In the itoor, and fiMlm$.] No, im.
no; he's i;iiiiic thmii. enmlinonnd pruiiibtitir —
I KY. f^y je 911, MLHiitdrel. niMftI ! Iri him bite
lltt" liriitii' — Six iiinr'« tuclvt is iwveiilK-lwn. —
All'h Bitio, ninti, never frnr him; do ytm stuid
htre, 1 5hnll ili^iptitch lhi^ hovincss in a crack.

Sim. Htrs^iiis^ on tiim ! whnt is h« about nu«' ?
Vhy. Ihe door id Iwied, mni-ter.

iJiVA. A_v, litiE 1 c«n en-ily force the lock ;
urni fJinll Rw mp do it as well as any wr J"hn
Brute uf lhc«» nil ; thi«> right lop licre is tlie be»l
Jocksmilh itt Ktiglawl — ho, so! [Fcrcci the door,
en<! fiOrs in.]

.Sow. Ile'h at Kit plays asain. Odds mj heart,
hc'ft u Hire Imnil ! nc-'l'l go thrmi^h with it, I'll
varmnt hini ! Old Cojer must nut aniukc that I
hove any nmrern. I mubt be main cautious —
].4inJ bIcM hiK hcBi't 1 heV to (cndi une to act
Scrub. He beeuit with mc Ioiik npo. and I cot
as t*ar »>» tin- Jesuit, before a went out of tiwn :
— Scrub! (.'omtng, «>, Jjn-tt, mnam, I 're a
vhofe jmekrt J'uti of' neus — soMte *uy one thhifi,
and same ut^ tinot her ; hut, /or t/ii/ part, imam
— / Iv/ircr fir's a Jrsttit,' — lliut'& maio pleasant
— i btlicve hrt o Jctuit.

Pick. T hate t/one the dttd—D'ultt thtmnol
ftr«r It Hoitf y

Sim. No, master ; we'fr nil snuR,

Dirk. Thin cttni will df> rhamiingly ! I liavr
bilked the old fellow nicely! — In a dark corvrr
nf hit cat^iiflt I Jouiid thta paper; uhtit it it
tfif fif^ht rritf thnv,

' I promise to pay' — ha ! —

• I promiv.' tn liny Ut Mr Moiicvlrap, or order,
on demand*— ■"lis liis hand, a note of his; i/et mure
— the sirm of seven pijuiid* fourteen tJnllio)^
nrtd sevenpcnrc, vahie rrceived by me.' — Lnn-
don, tins I.^lh June, 1753— '"/Vi unntinf^ tchtil
nhobldjotioa! ; his nnme should follow, but 'ci»
torn off — bemow ihc note is pnid.

Sim. <) r^tnil DcMir sir, you'll spoil all— —

I «ish VkC i*erc well out of the houie Our

be^t wuy, ntasfcr, is to make niTdiicctly.

Dirh. 1 will, I nill; but tir4i Fielp me on with
thill Clint; Simon, yon »hall beuiy dresser; youll
be fine and hoppv I'liiind the K'enes. —

Smt. n 1 Old '. it Kill be niuii) plea^nt ; t hiivc
Wen hcliind the scenes in the counirv, when I
liiTd with tiip man ihnt "slicwrd wild bcnsiices.

Dirk. IJarLV, Simun ; vfhen I am playing Koiiir
deep tragedy^ and cUnze tke gCHtroi car ui(h

horrid tpttth, you must stand between the bcencs*
and cry bitterly.

[Teackalam.

Sim. Ye*, sir.

Dtek. And when I'm plnyrni; coniMly. you
must be rcadv to lauf^h your cutA out, J Tc«fhes
him.] fur 1 slnill l>e very pleasant — ^I'oulcroU —
[l)avct$.]

Sim. N ever doubt me, wr.- ■

Dick. Vary welt; mm mo down M)d open
the street-door; I'll follow yon in a cmck.

Sim. I nm gone to *cr*'c you, master'

Dick. Til Mrrvr thi/telf for, lookV, SimoD)

when I am n iminagcr, claim thou of mc the rare
of the nnrdnibe, with all lliosc tnoveabl«l,
whcfcof the prap^^riy-mon now stands po^
se»l.

S>M. O Ijjd ! tiiis is charming— Uuih I I am
gone. [Cota;.

Dirh. Well, but tmrk'e, Simon, rome hiiber ;
tthat tiume^ have tftut aboat yoitt Sdatter Mah
thtwf

Sirp. Dot a tester, -ir.

Dick. A letter! That'* somethii^ of tJ*

IruM, Master Matthew ; lel'it >ce it.

.Sim. Vou hn»c liod fifteen sixpence* i»ow-^

Dick. Never niiitd that, I'll pay you all at ui
lieiietii.

Siw. I don't doubt ilifli, maHcr ■ - but moni.

[htit.

Dirk. Thtttfar ttt ruv b^/'are ihe wiad. An
Ei;K>iliei-urv! uiuke an apothecary of mc ! — wlat!
cramp my i:enitis over a pestle nod mortar, or
mew me up in a shop, with an nlligator wutt,
niifl n l>*'Ei;nrly uecouot of empiyUnCi! — tob«
culhuti: ^inptes. nod constantly nddine to Uiff
hilts uf murtulity ! — N'o, utt ! It nill tie much bet-
ter to be postwl op in eapital*, ' 'Hie part rf

* itomcn, bya young ccniltniDii, who iicscx ilf

* peared on any siuae btfort !' My oniblioB

fires at tlie tluiuchi Hut hold— inayi>'i I

nm fcomc chamf. of tailiiu; in tnv attempt — biw-
ed — pclU'd — lauiihed at— not admiiied ioiii ilw

Oreciv-room 1 hat will never il<j— ■ D«««,

biiu/ drtni, dotf n .' Joh-rt f — Try 1 1 a^ai li : — loved In
liic women, envied by the men, applnudcd hj
llic pit, clap|icd by llic cidlcry, oiliuired hj tb«
br»xc9. Dear colonel, i% not he n elmiinine crt*-
turt ? My lord, don't you like liioi uf all thuifci ■—
Makes lu\e like au anf^el I — What an eve lirliai'

— tine Ice* ! — I'll certainly 50 to hi" benefit.

Ccle»liiil soundh! And, thru, I'll |;ct in "iii

all ihc painters, and have toyself put up ■
every print-iJwp-^— ia the elaracter of AUc
brth ! 'i'hii is a tuny Might. [Standi in mn ^tf
tude.'X In llic chamcier of iticliard, Gm wt

nnother fnirsf .' bind Bp my ipohnijs .' ihr* "iJ

do ninly — luid, then, 1 Iihvp a diaix-e <if K«H*(

well married - U pli(riou« ihoug hi .' -Bf

hnnrn I «■»// mini/ i/,, thtm^h l/ut in t'omry^
But, wlwt'* o'doclt?— — It uiuM, be nlnwst waf-

MvapRr!!

BRirrSH DRAMA.

179

rU Bway m once; t)n9 ii rlub-nieht.— 'Bjnd Ptl
p to ifaem (or a xrliiift — the upourcr* nrc nil met
— Iiitl< they lliuik I'm in tu»ri — tlifjr'll be »ur-
prrjcd to k* itic — Off I gn, und. thvn, fur my aa-

HpwtKM) with iiiv mii^tcr (iHr|>lo% Haitgliter

not Cterloite !^bc'& locked up, but I biioll

find mcons to settle mnttfrrt for her Mcape—- —

She's a pretty tJicatriciil f>oniu9 If sin- Hie^

tniiiyaniU), like u Imvrk U.> ibt perch, if will Itv m>
rare BD ii>ctrcnc(ire, niift m dmmatic an incident i
— Lirubt, do your ofHcf, and tupporl me tttU ; bear
mc Iml to her, ikcn Jail utf if i/ou can ! [Kxtl.

ACT n.

SCENE T. — DUctrverM the tpouting-dub^ the
memher$ teated, and roarin/; out Bravo/ tehile i
tme *tandt at a Hinlai'TC rrpeattng

In &f fra. Cinrd be your 3rmote, curted your
amititvtt0» ! 'Vbc rMr«r of growing jiicliouM und
Wtltiani ttiUves yoHr rounciUf

9^ i\(rm. Don't you thiak. his nctiun a liule
niintd f

\M kiem. Pfhi ! Tou btocLhcad ! don't ywi
imm tiMC I'm id chains ^

id Mm. Blockbe*d, say ye i — vma not I the
finnkmt took cmapasbion uo yo<L, wlit-n you lay
Ukt n MHMkini; fellow umlcr thr counter, and
t your maVcr'4 sliiiji ill a morning f when
I'cead DOtJiing but the Voung Man's Puckei
niont ortfae True CIcrk't \'a(le Mcvam f
1 inic CliruiuMiJtoiuntlmlogos iu your

JIL Bnvo. bnivo ! —

Pre. Co(n«. e*"''*^**'*, Irt tii Imve nn Hi*-
MMs. ConnidpT, genilcmen, lliu is tlii> h<i-
' : Mcicty ot'tpoutcrs; and w, to put nv
t all onitiKuitin, read tbe sct'cnth rule of

»IM ktem.

A ISriHln-r Reads.

' TImK buMnCfts, or unnt of money. hIiuII not
' be rcoeivcd at an excuse for nou-atccn dance ;
' BOr tlie KOfier of puTrnti, or other relation;) ; nnr

ifir romplnintx oi'our uia^lfnt bo ever hrunJ ;
'btwhini raeaoi) this society will be able tn
' UiaM iu tnra mimic hemes, and be a nur-
'«ry of young actorliii(;« for tiie Htaec, in
oi the meclianic genius of our friends.'

Pre. Tliat i$ not tbe rule I mean; but come

v^U JUi « HmoMHre the tabic round nv«-

/o»dd*g<$tion Kott on appttite, and tuaUh o'»

AIL Huiza. hitoa, huzza i r-

Pre Come, eeatletncti, let us have no quarrels.
^.^tt llnaasbuaa!

rfdh. Cotae, now. 111 cce vou a touch 01

rth!

lit Mem. Tttac will be rare ! Cutne let's have

&.4tek. Whu (lo'st lc«r at, mon^— I have lucJ
ancUe upfauue at Kdmburjh, uhrn I cnactc'i
tu iha Kanfioeede; anil I iiow inU'iid t<t il<
Hirfcwrii r saw tbe degger yv^crncctr oud 1

r thought I should ba' Willed (hcry one that
came in my way !

Intfi. Stand out of the wnr* luHs. and you'll
I -cc nie give a touch of Othello, my dtar-^—
\Taket the cork and burns it, aud hlncki bit
filer,] The devil bum the cork 1 it would nut d(l
it fiiAt riii)ni>h.

Ut Mrm. Here, here; I'll lend yon a helping
hand. — [Hinckt Aim.J \Kouckinf; at the diMtr.
'id Mcui. Open lockx, mhoeiKr knoeki.

Enter DfCK.

Dick. Haw noa^ ye teeret, black, and miJniitfit
bagi y o'fial itt v* do ^

AU. Ha ! TItc genius come to town — Uazza,
huzia! lite iieutus

Dick. i/oB' fare tbe lumett partnen of my

heart Y Jack Hnpefcrs, eive us your Hand

GHiIde$uterrL, youri — ila ! Hmmcranfa — Gen-
t/rmrny I rejoice to tee ye — But come, the news
|}>c nrws of the town! Has any Ihiii^ heen
damned? Any new pcrfonners this winter? Jlow
often has Romeo and Juliet been acted ? Coiuc,
uiy bucks inform me; 1 want news.

1a/ Mtrni. Vtni shall know uU m pmii tinio:
but, prithee, my di-nr boy, liow was it? Voa
ptiiye<l at Uristol ; let's hear.

'2d Mem. Ay ; let's have it, ttear Diclc.

Duk. Look ye there, now — Ltt'tbave i<, dew-
boy, and dew Dick.

ist Mem. Nay, nay; but how was you recei-
ved ?

DirAr. Romeo was my part — I touched their
soul* for them; every pale face from tbe wells
was there, und so on 1 went — but rot thcin. ne-
ver mind them — What bloody icene Ati$ lioscius
now to act t

Ui Metn. Several thinr^; but. Genius why
did you come to us so late ? Why did not you
coine ill the bcgiiminK of the nii^bt?

l)ick. Why, I nitcndcil it: but nlio should I
rneet ill my way but mv friend L'atcatt, adctiltsh
'jotid tnlic; and mi he and I went I0!>ether, and
had tmr piftes tu rtuu tbe orifice of the ifowttcA.
jok knotc ; and what do you tliink ( learned ut'
him?

Ut Mem. t cnn'i any.

•Dick. fan you tell, now, whether the empha-
i^ -tfi'iulH be laid upon the epituphj ur the Mib*
taurjie ' •

Ut Mem. Why, no ■

180

BRITISH DRAMA.

[MOBPHT-

Dif ft. Tscr, wliile you li»e, by your cropbaaU
Vpnii ihe rpit^iph.

Irnb. Arr.ih, roy tkflr, but wlnit t!t ttuit BBtni-
e|iiiHpli, in>w ?

Dick. Atrah, mv tffar eouun SJatkstwne,
ti*Ott'f yoM put u rtmrmltaiKe iipim mr ^

Irtsh. Ow ! htjl IS it roockiop you a" ? Look
ye, my <lc«r, it you'd tit Lokiiit: uic olT — Uon'i
yiHi tutl It taking oil ? By tny slmiil, I'd be mn-
kioe ym lake yourscU off— — Wliat? If yoiiVc
for b«^ini: oh'^tropolims, I would not matter you
llirrr t>kip!< nfa lli'U.

Dick. Nny, pritheff do offence; I hope wo
shnti K* brnthfr-phiyer^

Iruh. tJw \ itten we'd be very good friends;
for. you know, two of n trade can never agree,
my dtar.

Uroteh. LodiP is certainly rcet in hi« chapter
nlw<'>t itiiiBtc irtca*^; fcr tins tnoi) is Imrn ivithmit
■iiv At all ; niift the other mun, yonder, I duuL is
«() pTCt hetd-piirc.

Ihck. Wliiil do yuH intend to appear in?

/rwA. Othullo, iKydear; Icliiicnlonc; you'll
see how Til hodder t'tcin : thnuelt, hy my j^iouI,
uivshflf d'«« not know tut Fd \m frigliieocd
wiien rtrry iliiiic i^ in a hubbub, and nutliin)> lo
br limrd, but ' throw liim over '* — * over wjth

* hilii !'— ^ off, off, off llir sinee *' — ' music !' —

* won't »c hs'sotne orsMj^e-chips f— ' woo'l j-e ha*

* some nun port-ills V — ( )w ! but, inny be, the dt-nr
cminr« in llv> Imk4»i will be tuokioi; at my te^»— •
Ow ! to lie fture— dw dci-ii burn tlie luck llicv''ll
gife lliein !

Dttk. 1 sIhiH ccrtjiinly laugh in tlie fellow'^
faff. [Att4e.

Iruh. Ow ! never mind it ; let mr oloue, my
ricnr ; oiuf be, I'd Aee n Utile round liwe from
Dtdtlin, in (he pit, nmy U' I would; but then,
won't 1 lie the Ant cenib-miin of my nnme. tliut
turned »tBce-|ilavi'r? My cousin woul<l rather
»t;e me stari-c like u eentlcmaa, with honour and
rrpumtioti-— mystidf docs be aabamod wheo I
ihiok of it

SfoicH. S(ny till you bear me gire ii specimen
of ejix-uttoo.

J}Uk. y> hut. with ibat impediment, sir ?

Srolrfi. Imptfdiment ! Wbiit imppcdim^nt? I
do not leisp, do I } 1 do no ^jucvnl — I am well
leeraed, nni I not ?

IriMh. Six ntv- Fhnul, if yon i?» to thai, t nm as
well liitiU nil mv9(-lt' ns niiv of them; and shnil
loiiLe « ft^ure lu ucutei-l aiMi top comedy.

Sfolrh, I'll pve you a specimen of Mock-
berth.

/rtiA. UoLc Iraale, tlieit; and I'll begin O-
diullo.

Scotdi. /i tiii a dapger tkal I ste brfore we,
At.

rri»h, [CoUarlmf himA'^n'iftaiit, be sure j^rw
ftttrr tiff tavf ti uhatr, Af.

[/jAiifAir fnrniAr' ruwtifoniarti with his fncc
j,on dtieil, uttd n ptpe it* Ail tiuad.]

•I am thvfatkn*t tpirU, Hamlet-— ■-

Virk, Pn ! Prithee, you're tH>t fai eotmgh for
a ir|in<>r.

J/on. T intend to mnke my 6n«t af^iearanceia
It, fr>r all tliat ; only I'm puiiled about r.f>e ihtiu;
—1 wtuii to know, when 1 come on 6rst, wbetfaer
I vbould make a bow to the audicTKre ?

Anftht:r Mem. Now, jtenllemen, for tbe lrt»e
way of dyioi; — \Spreaiit a Wanfcft.}— now for a
lirtir phrt-UTy — [Hef}eatii a dying tpeefh, and rvlU
hitMtelf up in thr blunkft.]

[MWcA bdtimd the *a:neM ; part Jive o'ctiKk,
c/oudv nontine.]

Diek. Hey ! past li»e o'cIik-I— 'S,lealli, I sliall
miss iny appuinunent with Cttartocte; / have
ttaid too long, and shall Itue mi/ proiefyU
come, let II* ad|<mm.

AH. Ay : let u\ udly forth.

Irish. With all my heart; thoufcb I should
have boddered them finely, if they had staid.

Scfllcfi. I should have *.beened in Mockbeed);
hut i»eier tnecnd it; I'll go now to my frtcodtlie
bookseller, and tran-4atc Cumelius Tacitus, nr
Grotius de Jure Belli — atvd so, gentlemeiii yov
jtervaat.

St-olck, If inza, buna !

Dick. tt'e'U KOicer the walth ; confitmm t9
moraUttt ! I uiith the cotutubte were foarried;
/tuiui, huz:a f

Iruh. By my shnul, iny^hclf did DtiC CMre if I
iiad n wife, with o good fortune, to be hiDdcnut
me from cun'lE on; but no matter; I may incct
wit!) a willing cmtur tomewhere.

[Exit Iriak. uapng-

All. Iluxcn,huz2a! [Eitut.

SCENE tl.— «r«/.

Enter a KaUhmaiu

Watch. Pa;t five o'clock, cloody mormn^^
Meny on ua ! — nil iiiad, I l»flieve, in this bwic
— they're at this trade three ui^ta in the wttk,
I thinK— PaKt live o'rlock, a cloudy tDorning.

All. Hu?7» '.—[Wiitiouf.]

Watrh. What, in iho name of wonder, ir'
ihcv oil at ?

Harm, burra !— [H'tfJ^ovf.]

r,Htfr the tpoulfrt.

Diclc. Atigeft and mimstert t^ gmee drfn4
ui/

1 St Mem. Uv HfgTfHi PU tear i/ou joiai h
joint, iiJid Urcw thik hungry churcl^^ird wdi
yviir iimb: ,'

Dick. Jvaunt, end ^uit asy tight ! thm ban"
are marntirlcti — f/irre't no iffruuitiou *m f**
rtfn, that thou diHl j*/are withtU.

W'ltfh. PritlH'e, iliin't <l)»tufb the peace.

A .Mt-in. hf Hire ./'"< ■ti/* hum dovn mt ««■

Uick. Be iiiivc ofiniH f and d*rt mr t4)tbt^f-

BRITISH DRAMA.

131

f

I

mtt «if A tky jiol^^akr any $hape btU tJtatf and
ntjfj^rm nfrwtf tltnU nerrr trtvtbic
Watch. Sobo. wbu !

£mter matchmenjrom aU port$, ume dnintc,
*iw)rf Coughing, i{c.

^d Watch. WliBi's the mnrter there?

it* Waick. Her« are ilie ilt^uirberv of tho
prace — J chants tht-in all

I>tck. Vnmtinnered i/uoc / advance vour hal-
hrrt higher than mif I'rftist, or, Iqf Si i'aut, Vll
ttnkf thee dovn-, and ijturn th€C^ btgiianjor l/n*
iNinJnire— —

[Theyjiffht, Dtcs is /mocktd dimn. Krcuttt
ttatfhmenf figftting th< re$l.

Dtck. i hwttt . If mil do ; '£«u]. Ill make
m; c»cap« ouw— UA, lam fortune'ajoo^^

Re~€ttter valchment SfCt

Watfh. Cmur, lirin^ tlwiii almif;.

tst Metn. Goud rufliuni, hold a while.
[it^ Mcuu i am untortunaX, bat not athamed
_ wing lo.

IIWfA. Coroc, coiiw : bring them oJoii)*.

[Eseunt.

SCEXE llL^Another itrcet.

Smter Dick, n I'/A a lanlharn and a ladder,
Vtrk. All'itquiet here; the coast'* clear ; now
for HIT sd^eulurr •*tUi Charlotte; tJii« liiddcr
will do nue\y for the buj^iicM, tttouEb it «»utd
be better, if it wrrc a ladder of rupca — but h'>ld :
have not I «r«n Mmvihiiie like rhi» on tli« fttatfe ?
Vcs I have, 10 totne of i)»e eiitcrtainmenli^^Av ;
/ rrmrmhrr an afHUhecaff/, and hfrtah»ut Jtc
duetU — lh» is my miisK^r f^nr^le's ; liein^ dnrk,
xht beQ^r's »hop in ^hnt — W'hnt, ho ! ajnilhtai-
ry .'• — but »oft — M'Au/ hf:ht breaki ihrtrttgh yon-
der wtmdo* If It u the caut, and Juiut it the
Mtn. Arite, fair tnn. ^.

Char. HWi fhrre ** My Uomro f
Dick, ne lamCt my (vet ; |/' it not thee rfi*-
jiiraar.

Char. Huib! Not to laud; jmull waken my
father.

Dick. Ala$ .' there** wore peri/ in thm eye-
Char. Nay; but, pritliee, itow, [ lelfyuu you'll
spnd all ; wluit made you stay «o lon;i ?

Dick. Chidr not, mv /air ; but let the ftod vf
Itfrr laiij^A m Ihy ryrs, and revei in thy hrart.

Chtir. .A« I ant a livini* midI, vhii'II ruin e%'ery
dliag; be butcjuietf and I'll oititc down to >()U.

[Gotitf:.
Du-k. No, no; not w fa»t : C!iarlott«, let u»
■rt the enrdrn tctup lir^t.

Ch4ir. A ljdtll«--itii:l r<ir llic surdcii Kciie !
Dtck. Say, then, I'll net lliuu;cr — up I go,
merk or avthtnf;.

Char. Dear heart, you're enoueb to frighten a
bodj oat of oite's wits; dou't come up- I tdl

you there's tw ocauion for tb« ladder; I ham
willed every thing with Simuo, aiwi lie*» to let
iiip thruufih the shofi, tvhcn he opens it.

Ihck. Well, but I tell ymi I would not give a
fartliitig for it without cbe ladder; oud ao, up I
go!

"Enter Simon at the doar, *

Sim. Sir, sir; mndam, madam

Jhck. Prithee, be quiet, Simon ; t am ascend-
ing the hiti:h top-gallunt of myjov.

Stm. An't (ilcaae you, master, my young niift«
treiM may come through the sliop ; I nm e»ine lo
sncifp it out, «ad alw may escape Uiat m ay fast
Cttnw-

Char. That will do purely ; and mi ilu you stay
whero you an>, aiid prepare to receive me.

[Eritfrtm ohove*

Dick. No, no, but that won't uke ; you shan't
hinder nie from e;oin|t lhrout;h my port — [Oaei
up.] — A O'owian, Ay "" thtil't Itickt/ ! i\rilher
old nor crooked ; in I ffo — [Goes in.] — and, for
frttr tif' the purtuil of the /amity ^ I'll make ture
qf'iht ladder.

Sim, Hist, hiat, master ! leave that there, Id
tare mc from being suspected.

Dtck. With all my heart, Simon.

{Eril/rom above.

Si'"- [Atone] — Lord love him, how comical he
is ! It will be line for me, wlieu we're playing liie
f(M»l tdsether, lo call him brotlier Martm. JSrw
ther AJar/ia /

Enter CHAttLorrE.

Char. O lud ! I'm frij^bted out of my witi;
where is ho ?

Sim. HeV a eamir^ madam — [Callt to Aim.J —
Hrothcr Martin I

Enter DtCK.

Dick. Cuckold him, ntadem, by all mean*~'
I'm ;^oiir nan.

Char. Welt now, I prnlciit and vow, I wander
bow ynu can senc a l>ody so; feel with wbai a
pii-a-piit lurticin my henrt beala.

Dirt. 'Tis an a/ann to Itrvr ; quick, Ut me
inateh thee to thy Uoairvt armt, ^r.

Wutrh. [liekind the jccB«.)— Past six o*dock,
and n cloudy morning.

Char. Dear bean, don't let us stand fooling
here; as I Uvc and brcnthc, »»e ahull b<Hh be ui-
ken ; do, for Heaven's »uke, let us make our ca>
cape.

Watch. Past six o'clock, and a cloudy mom-

Char. It come* nearer and nearer ; let ui
make ntf.

Dick. Gii'c us your hand, then, my pretty kt-
ilt' adventurer; I attend vou.

m

BRITISH DRAMA.

' [MCIPBY,

Yes, my deiu Chnrlottp, we will go togctlicr*
Toyelh^r l« tbe llicnirc we'll g'l, "%

Theri", lo ihcir ravi»bed eye*, our •liill we'll f
•liow, i

And point new beauties to ilie pit below. J

Sim. HcavcDs bless die couple of them ! But
num.

[Exil, end ikutt the door after him.

Enter BMliff", and hufoiitmert.

Bail. 'ITiul'l lie, yoi>der, as »ure a» rouVc
[alive; ay, it is; and lie has been about some
miiiclHef lirn?.

Fvi. No. no. that uB*t he; that noe wean b
Iftccd coat— ihougli I oui't sa)^— as sure as a gun,
it is li(.>.

Hail. At, I smoked him at nnre ; do von nin
that war, iirtd stop at the lH>ltoiH of Cuiherine
■trect; I'll go up Drunr-latie, nnd, between us
both, it will be odds tl' \Vc miss buu.

[Eseunt.

Enter matchmcn.

WaUX Past «ix o'clock, an<l a cloudy mnm-
lite. Hev-day ! what's l>erc ! aUdderat Air Gar-
gle's window ^ I inustuiunn the family ; Ho! Mr
CorglL- i

[Knockf at the door.

Oar. [JhofVe.]-^~Whtit'* the matter ? Mow
eoiDci this window to be open ! Ha ! A ladder !
Who's below, there i

lit WaJck I hoj)* you on't robbed, Mr Gnr-
gle? As I was going roy rounds, I fuuud your
window opeo.

Gar. I fear tlii^ is some of that young dog's
tricks; take away the ladder; 1 must cnquitv
into all this. [Erit.

Enter Siuox, like Sckcr.

Rra. Thievts.' Murder/ 2%jctw .' Popertf!

Watch, What's tlif! malter with the fellow^

Sim. Sparc all I have, and lake my tij'e !

lla/rA. Any mischief in the bouse?

Sim. Thry broke in tritk fire and xword ;
thei/lt be here this rninutr ; jive and tort if —
this will do cliortuingly — my young master tu^ipht
>ne this. \A^dr.

Iff Watch. Whnc, arc tliere iliicves ni the
house?

Sim. If VrA ttpord and pistol^ sir t five and

If'atfh. Nay, then, 'tis lime for me to go ; for,
nnvbap, I laav come to ha* the wor9t ou'i.

[BiU Watch.

JEnter Garcle.

Car. Dear heart I IVar beuri ! She's none !
She's Eoac!! Mydaughter! Mydaughtcr! Wbiits
the feilinr tii such a (n^ht for i

Sim. Dawn on v"*i'" Xnec*— dflwn cn v^ftr
mttrnm-bonet — Tthis will make him think. \ kuow
ntkthini; oi' the matter — birw liii hi-art for teach-
m^ me /"-doira on your mamia-lionri .'

Gar. Gel up. you fool ! get up— dear hcan,
I'm nil ill n fenuentution.

Knter Wimcatc, reading a netetpaper.

Win. [Readt.^ — 'Wanted, on pnod security,

* five bundled puundn, for which lawful interest
' will be icivco, and o ftood premium allowed.

* W k>cver this may suit, cnf]iiire for S. T. at the

* Crown sitd Rolls, in t'hnncery-lnne.' This mar
be Mortli luokiog after. I'll have a ^ood prtniK
um ; if the (cliuw's a fool, 1*11 fis my eye on him ;
orlier |>eople*s follies am an estate to tlie man
ih»L liiiows how to make himself useful. Si,
friend Oarglo, you're up early, I tee; nothing
like rising early; nuthinf^ lo be pot by lyin]( in
bed, like u lubbiTlv fellow — Mhai's tfic maiier
with you? Ilttflia! Vou look hke a Ha, ha!

Gar. O — nowonfler — mydaogliter, mydatigt^
ter!

iria. Your daughter ! What signifies « fuohsb
girl?

Gar. Oh, dear heart ! dear heart \ out of 'Sat
window !

Win- Tallcn otit of the window ! Well, sfas
v\\s a wnmiin. and 'tis no matter; if she's dcMJ^
•i\\v'% pruviried fnr. Here, I found tbo liook^
cntild not meet with it last night — bene it t»—
there's more sense in it, tlian in all their Mttv
bclliB, and their trumperr — [ Jteads.'\ — Cooker**
arithuiPlic — look ye licre, now, fnend Garths-
Suppose you hnve the sixteenth port of a ship,
.mil I buy one fifth of yoo, what share of the
ship do I buy'

Gar. Oh. dear sir, 'tU a melancholy casfr — ■

Win, .\ melnneholy case, inderd, to be so i(f-
nomnt: why hIioiiIiI not a man know every ttunf['
one fifth of one sixteentli, what pnrt hn^'c 1 fit
the wiiule i \jpi me see ; 1*11 do it a sliort way-
Gar. L/wt beyotwl redemption I

Win. /ookeri! l»e quiet, man; yon pat ne
out — Seven times seven is forty-nine, and w
times twelve is wvciitv-twn — niid — nnd— and— i
li(.-n*, friend fiargle, lake (he book, and gi*t it
thfit Koundrel t>f n fellow.

(}ar. Lord, sir, he'* returned to hi» tricks.

Win. Ketiinied to his tricks! What, broke
loowe again ?

Gar. Ay ; vid cAnied off my daugliter witK
him.

HVn. ("nrricd off your daughter ! How did the
rasral Diotnve that*

Gar. Oh, dear sir, the watch alanned \b »
while ago. and I found a ladder at the wind<rw;
50, 1 suppose my young madam made her cscafc
llint wur.

[riii.'Wouiid»! Whm busioetft bad tlw Mhx*

with your daughter }

MuRPHT.]

BRITISir DRAMA.

I

I

Gur. 1 **i§lt I hill nevpr taken hiro into my
boitse ; tie niav ilebAUtli tbe poor ({irl

Wat. And siipuose Ke doe» — »ii«'» a wumaii,
ao't «bc? Iln, Iki! t'rienri GofkIc, ha, lia !

Car. Dev btr^ l>-iw can tuu t4ik Uiiu to a
loan liifttnKtetif

B'lii. I*U never see cbefeMow's face.

Sim. Secrtit f Sccrttt !

Wim. What, »re you iit tlw lecrpl, fricnri ?

Sm. To be Mtrc ; there be ncrcta in oil I'umi-
lin— hut, for niT pnrt, I'll mit ^ksL a word ;>ro
ur coa, till tht'rv's a peace.

Wm. Vou won't fepedt, sirrah ! t*ll mnLe yoii
■pMk^^— Do you luKiw ttotbing of this nun>-

Sm. Wlick, I, »ir ? He came himto last ui ^ht
frmu your hoiuc, aiid wriii out aj^iu direcUy,

Wtn. Yoa ativt him, tlien?

5(01. Yes, ur ; sun tiiiu tu be sure, Mr; he
■NKle lac npcn die ^hnp door for hiiu ; h« stop-
ped oa lite tlireshuld, and puinlfd iit one of the
diMids Hnd lukcd uic if it wns not Itl^e an ouzr.l i

Wii^ like ao oti2cl f Wounds ! What* tui

C«r. And ttie yoiutf; dof( cnnic back la the
dead of iiifthi to (4eal awuy my diiu(>b(cr !

H'*«. Til tell you wimi, fnrnd (J«r;^le — —HI
liunk no mtire of the fellow — \vX hiiu biic tlic
bndk — ni g9 mind my biuiueia, aad uot miu
aa ofiportuiuty.

Q«r. r><M*d n»>w, Mr VVingate. don't lea»-e nw
ia Uut ajBiciiiin ! conaukr, when the imitoat spi-
na are properly einployed, the whole aystein'A
cilnlanted. a prupL-r circulation iu the unallcr
ifaieu, or capillary veueta —

H'i* 1>H)1 ye there, dow ; the fcllo\«'s at his
4ackj ttgaiiit ha. hn t

Gmr. Bat when tlio spirits nra nnder influ-

Wim, I la, lift! What a fine fcltovr yni are
aa«r \ You'm w» nind with your phyMciil nnn-
MMaw w m> son wiifa his Slmkespeare aud Ben
TInvpaon ;

Gar. Dear sir, let iii so in quMt of him ; be
riall tie well phlehotomixcd; ami, for the fu-
lare, til keep lus solids and lluids in proper ha-
Um-T —

Hia. r>Vt tell me of yniir solids; 1 tell you
bell ocvcr bv solid : iiii<l so I'll pi and intiKl inv
busiOKjs let Qte see, wjiere i» thi«chap— [iffWi.]
—ay. av ; at the Cnmn luid WnWh — uood uiurn-
^mfm friend (*arslc; dtii/l plague yuur<cir ubout
riMenuiuskiill; ^tudy fractions man; vulgar fmc-
ttotis Mil) carry vou tliroot;h tlu; world ; nntliiiic-
teal prupurtion IS, wlicn the antecedent and con-

[GiHIt^.

Gar. Yc»: who wants MniT

Por. l;lcre's a letter for you.

Gar, lx:t me sec it Odenr heart! — {Recdt.^
— ' To Mr Garble at the I'cstic uiid Mortar' —
'fjlidikin^ ! tliis is n letter from timl unfortunate
ynmii: fi-tliiw

WtH. }jcl nic see it, Oar(*1e.

Gar. A mometic's patience, good Mr Wingote,
iii»d ibis may iinnivel all— [Krarfj.]— ^Nxw young
iniiii ! His brain is certainly turned ; I canx
make head or tail of it.

ICia. Ha, ha ! You're a pretty fellow ! pive it
mf. man — 111 make it out for you-— 'tia his baiid,
sure enough. — [i{<44is.]

* To Mr Gargle, &c.
' M<»t potent, eiave, and reverend doctor, mv .
' very noble and appriived food master ! iluic [
' have taken away vour daui;litiT, it i»muMt trae,
■ true I will uiarry lier; 'tis true, 'tis pily, aud pi-
' ly 'lis, 'lis true.' — Wliat, in the naim? of cninmun
Miise, is all this f*— * I have dune your sixip some

* service, and you know ii ; no mure of tlmt ! yet
' I cituld wisli, tliat, at this time, I had not been
' tliis thiii^.* — Wliut C11I1 the felUnv iiienit ? — • For

* time may have yet ouc fated hour to coane,
' which, wmped wilb libcrtv, may overtake orcju-
' sion past'-- — Overtake (iccasion past! Timr and
tide wait& for no man — * I c\pcct redress from
' thy noble sorrows; thine and my pour couo-
' try's e^-er.

* a WlHGATE.'

Mad as a mnrcli hare I I hm done with hiro.
let him hiay till ilie shoe [uDchei, a cracA<brain-
ed num^ikull !

Par. An't please ye, sir, f fancies tlie gentle-
iimn IS a little beside hinMelf ; he took biiid on
ine here bv the collar, and called mc villaiiii, arid

bid me prove his wife n whore L.<»rd help

hiin I I DCTcr seed the gentleman's ipuuse in my
bum days before.

Gar.'ls she with hin now ?

Por. I bclieie so— —There's a likely yoting
wuTnnii with him, all in trart.

Car. My dnughtcr, to he fure— —

IIVij. lyct the fellow ^n and be han^ed^^—
VVouikU ! I wiiuld not go the length of my nnn Cw
s.ive the I'illnin from the gallows. Where waa
he, friend, "ben he Kuve you this loiter?

Por. I fMiii-y, master, tlie ceiilleman's under
troubles — -I brought it iumo n >piUiging-houMi.

Hirt. Ftotu a spuiifting-houfte?

Por. Yes, sir, in (irays-lnn-Lanc.

II in. Let bun lie there, let him lie.tliere — I
uni ^lad of it —

4Jar, Dl^ my dear sir, let u,s step to him—

H'ifi. No, nut I, let him stay tliere — this it is
to hat-e u ^cn lu^ — h^, lin ! a ^'iiius ! bu, hal^
A genius is u fine tiling;, indeed ! hn, lia, lui !

[Exit.

Gar. Poor man! he haa certainly a fever nn

184

BRITISH DRAMA.

[MOBPIIY.

his spirits — do jou step in with mt, hooest man,
till I slip on mj coat, aiid, then^ 1*11 e.o aAer tbi»
unfortuimte hay.
J*or, Yes, sir ; 'Us iu Onijr»-Itin*tiU)C.

[Etcual.

SC^ElV.'^AtpHngingkoHU; Dick aWDii-
iiFFflf a taOie, tmdCnKHLo 17 E sitting in a
ditromolate munwcriiy hint.

Bm7. Ilorc's mv icrvicc to ^oo, youn|t i^mtle-
-don I be unrasy ; th« du^ i& not

much ; whv tlu you look sn jiad?

Dii'k. Because captivity hat robbed me of a fu$t
and dtar divcrsian,

Bfiii Never look 'iulky nt me. lucvcruseniiv
body ill. Cwnc, it lias been muny a gotid mim.i
l(>t; here's toy service to you, but we've no li-
quor; come, Hcll have th« utlicr bowl

Dick. I'rx niw natjifl^ duratn in the Jtorld
— vri ttiU I am in tove, and pffoted uith ruin.

BaiL Wluit do you say? yuuVc (ifty bliilliogs
I bone?

Thck. Noh', thank Utaven J Vm not xortk a
groitt.

BaiL TIten. dtcre's no credit lierc, I can tell

Toii tbot you must get bail, or go to New-

pito who do you think i* to pay houMV

rent for you? You sec your frietuls won't come
neur you — They've all iui!<tt'cred in the old cnnf.

* I've promi^d my wife irever to br luil for any

* bodv/ nr, ' I'»e swom not to do ii." or, ^ I'J
' lend you the moiifv if I liwl il, but dcalrc to i)c

* excused from boUin;: any man.' The porter
you juEii now hcni, uijl bring ibe same answer, I

warrant. Such poverty-struck devil* as you

stiiT in my house ! you shall go to Quod, I can
tell you that

[Knocking at the dow.

BaiL Coroini^ comiii}:; I am coming; I »-iinll
hid^e you in Stwgaic, I proniiac you, bct'orc
night ■ not worth a gront I you're a fine
fellow to 6tay in nroaa's bouoe ! ■ You »l)»ll

go to Quod. [E.iit.

Df'k. Come, clear up, Charlotte, nerer miiiit

this come now It-t us act the prisou-scetie

in tlie mourning bride—

Cftar, How can yon ihiiik of acting •tpecches,
when we're in such di^trcsi }

Ihek, Nay, but my dear imyel--

Enter WlKGATE Hnd G4RCLC

Gar. Iluali ! Do, 'dear fir, let us listen to him
1 dare say be repents

Win. Wounds ! what clmbcs ore llioie the
fellow has on? Zookei> the 5coandi*el has rub-
bed mr.

Difk. Come, now, we'll practise an attitude —
How manv oi" them Iwve yini ?

Chmr. Let mo scc— one— iwo— three ■ ■ and,
1

then, m the fourth act, and then — O, Gemini, I
havp ten at least

Jhrk, Thnl will do snimmlnely — I've u rotind
doM-n myself — C'ome. now, beitin — you fancy
mc dead, and I think the sauie of you — now,
mind ■ ■ ■ ['^^''V ttoftd in attitude*.

Win. Only mind the villurn !

Dick. 0 ihott tq/i Jkettng form tf £i)fdi»-
mtra f

Chftr. Sllntirr-thade pf my htfsfvrd Lord?

Dick. She Unt, iht kpt^akt, and uc JmU itili
he htifpy^

If'ijt.' You lie, you villaia ! you aliao't be hap-

pr-

[ Knnckt him dtm.

Ditk. [I'ht the ^mund-] Perdition coicAjwr
arm f the fhaftce is thine.

Gar. So, my young madam ! 1 have found you
af^nin.

Dick. Caputr.t./arltrarJ Parity let facer, yemr
hoid—SAe u my Ktfe — our Aesrls ore twiaal to-
firtfirr.

Win. Sirmh, villain, til break every bori» ia
your budy [Sirikfi.

Dick. Fnrenit herf fiinty kr«rlt ; ho tetn

r«n more them : Chi/drtt mait te m-relct^

cd

irm. Get off the groand, you Till«in ! ge* o^
thp ErtHind !

D$ck. Tts a pity there are no acene*dnnrrT*
to lift me

Win. A scoundrel, to lob your father ! yen
mscal, I have a mind to break your liemU I ^^J

Dick. Whaijikelhity ^^M

[Takes off" Aii wig, aadihrww twopattlml^
kis head.]

Witt. Tis miphty well, yotmi; man — Zaaten!
1 made my o«li fottune; and I'll tnke a boviaA
of the Bfuc-cunt-hospitiil, and give him all I
have. Look'a here, fiiend Gat^ule. You kttoii, I
am not a hanl-heaned mou. 1 he sooundtcl, ycut
know, lias robbed me; !KS d'yo see, I woat
hanghiiu; I'll onlv transport the fellow
And so, Mr Cotchpole, yon uuky take toM M
Newgate ■ - —

liar. Well, but, dear sir, you know I alwtif
intcniii-tl to mnrry mv dnuiihtir into y^nir fsiiH-
ly ; and if yon let the young man be rmaed,Bii
money must all pu into anothrr chunnel.

II in. Hnw'4 ihai ! into uiiother rlmnosl^'

.Must not lo*c the lianHliii^ of hi* mnnev —

Why, I told you^ friend Oar^le, 1 am not a b»ti-
hearted nnin.

Gar. Why i», sir; but y«ir patsaooi- —
Honrvcr, if you will but make ihf ti>uiii> cfnlte*
mnii wne nni Ihe lust year of hi'i np)>rentJrrJ>»|\
V')u know T bluUl be eiviii^ over, tutd 1 may pel
him into nil mv pmrrite.

Win. Ha, ha ! Whv. if iht blorlheafl *r«u!d
but get as many rnihbed phv^inil t>rird* ff""*
I[yp(x)c^iIt■^ and Alien, ak Ik' h.ia from his noff
scQMcal truaipery— ha, ha ! 1 don't know, be-

MuEPHY.]

BUmsH DRAMA.

I

I

twe«a TOO wd I, but be mi^t pus for a vcr;

good phystmn.

Dtck. Amd mutt 1 Lave thtty Juiiet f

Char, \aj, but, pniliee now, have done with

Cur »pecche». You kc wc are brought to the
t diftcrm, mud %o you bad better ninkc it up —
[Aiiik to DivK.

Ihek. Why. for your sake, my dear, I could
almoft tind in luy he*rt

fl'in. Voull settle your money on vour daagti-
ter?

Gar. You kanw it nas klwayi my iiiten-
tioii

Win. I mart not let the cash •dip tlirnuj^h my

bsad» [AtuU.]. Look'c here, youoi; uuiii 1

am the best'tialured mnn itt tiic world. Uow
came thw debt, friend }

BciL The gentleman ^ave hU Dote at Bristol,
I uiidcrujuHi% where he boarded ; 'tis but tweiK
ty pnuiidft

Win. Twenty iwunds ! Well, why don't v'«i
send to your fncnd SlmLc^pcare now to biiil

you bUfiui! [ sbouiil like to nee Shitkc»-

pcvepve bail— lia, Im ! MrCatdi)iulr, wilt you
take ImU of Ben 'fliompsoo, aad Stmkeepcart-r
•■d Odytaey Pock*?

BaiL' So Mcii )tenple have been here, sir —
are ihey lK»u»e-keeper»?

Dick. You do Hot come to mock my mii^
rietf

Gmr. Uitth, young man ! yooll spoil all

let n»e *pe*k Ui you How i* your digestimi ?

Dick, Titrov pfiytic to the dogt, I'll noHC oj'
i(

CAtfT. Nay, but ilear Dick, for my wdte— ■

Win. Wfut iiivi he, Garplc?

Gar. He rcpcms, s'f — bc'll rcfurm' —

H'ut. 17iflt'» rijthl, tad : now you're riRht

■>d if vou will but scrrc »ot yonv liiiic. my
frieiul Pantile, here, will make a mnn of you.
Woundfc ! you'll have hi* daughter and all his
Booey : and if I hear no mare of your tniiiipr-
ry, and you mind your buMness., and ttirk to my
tiCtJc Charlotte, and make mc a ^nindfntht'r in
mv old days ; ecad, you shall have all miuc, too \
tboc is* when I am dead.

S}ick. Chariottc, that will do rarely, and we
_ ^ to th* play& a& often as we pleaMi

Chmr, O, Gemioi, it will be the purest thing
ia the world, and we'll kce Itomco oud Juliet
every time it » acted-

Dick. Ay, that will be a hundred dtncs in a
season at least. Beudet, it will be like a play,
If I reform at the eiid. Sir,Jrt:e me jih far in
yiMir mo$t ^tncroat thought*, that I have that
my urro&' aver the house, ami hurt wry brother.

Win. What do you sjiy, frieiHl?

Char. Nay, but prttJice now do it ill plain
Engl ish

hkfc Well, well, I will. He knows nothing
ofinebiphoFh Sir, you shall fiiKl for the fu-
ture, thnt wt-'tl both endcnvnur to give you all
the satisfHCtion in our power.

Win. Very well, that** rinht; voo may do very
well. Friend Oar^lc, I um ovci^oye*!—

Gtir. <..'hearruliie.si^ sir, in the principal ingre-
dient in the compufiitiou of heullli.

Win. Wounds, man ! let Ub hear no more of
your phytic. Here, young man, put this )>ook In
your pocket, and let mc see how mioh you'll be
nuuter of vulear fraction!. Mr CwtchiKile, Klcp
Sunie with nir, niid I'll pny you the mnitey ; you
seem to be a notable !on of a felluiv, Mr Catch-
pule : could you nab a man for uie }

Catrh. Fast enough, sr, when I Intvc tlie
writ —

Win. Very well, come nlnng. t lent n young
;entlentar> u hundred pounds, n r»nl huiMlml Ite
railed ic— ^n, hu ! it did not f>iny to cool with
hint. I had a good premium; but I shan't wait
a moment for tlinl— Copuo along, y(nini>mnit;
What right haTC you to twenty pounds? give
you twenty pounds ! I no\cr was obliged to
my family for twenty pouwls — but I'll any n4>
mure; if you have u mind to tiirivc in this
world, make yourself useful is the golden rule.

Dick. My drarCharI..iIc, as ymi are to be my
rewurd, I'll l»e a new mai]— ^

Char. Well, now, I shall see how much you
love roe.

Dick. It shall he my study to dcyerve you ;
and bince wc don't go on iht* sta^e, 'tis some
romfort that the world's a stage, and all ths
aica and women merely players.

I

THE

ENGLISHMAN RETURNED FROM PARIS.

FOOTE.

DRAMATIS PERSON^..

MEN.

RiiK, the EnglUhman returnedfr<m Parit.
Crab, his/ather'i executor.
Lord John, a respect tAle young nobleman.
Macrvthen, Buck's knavith tutor,

?:"v"uj ^"«'"* f »'■-'•

J-ATiTAT, a lawyer.

!>UBCE.ON.

WOMEN.

LvctKpA, intended far Bl'Ck.
Le Jonouii.. La Loire, Beakvois, qi^ Sir-
vatiU.

Scene— London.

ACT L

SCENE L

Crab ditcovered reading.

* And T do constitute my very good friend,
' Cites Crab, escj. of St Martin's in the Fields,

* eiecutor to this ray will ; and do appoint him
' guardian to my ward Ijicinda; and do submit

* to his direction the management of all my af-

* fairs till the return of my son from his travels ;
' whom I do entreat my siud executor, in cbnsi-
' deration ol our ancient friendship, to advise, to

* counsel, &?. &c. * John Buck.'
A good, pretty legacy ! Let's see ; I find myself
heir, by this generous devise of my very good
friend, to ten actions nt common law, nine suits
in chancery ; the conduct of a boy, bred a booby

at home, and 6nisl)ed a fop abrow]; tnge^
with the direction of a tnarriageable, and there'
fore an unmanageable, wench ; and all this ^
an old fellow of sixty-ax, who heartily hates b(t-
siness, h tired of the world, and despises ereiy
thing in it. Why, how the devil came 1 to me-
rit

Enter Servant,
Ser. Mr Latitat of Staple's Inn.
Crab. So, here begin my pl^oes. Shew the
hound in.

Enter Latitat, with a bag, 4«.

Lat. I would, Mr Crab, have attended your
summons immediately; but I was obliged tosip>
Judgment in error at the common pleas ; soe oat
of the exchequer a writ of qua minus ; and sur-

Foots.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

187

I

I

I

render in banco regi the dcfcmlant, berore tlic
return of Kt/a, to ili»chiui;c the Imil.

Crah. IViuioc, aiaii, iiuiic ol'tlij iiniiitrlligiliU-
Uw-jaf^oa tome; tut till iiit-, iu ttic- liiiii;iiiiuc
of coKUDoa tCMC iind thy cuuiury, ulml I tun
CO €ttt ?

Lat. Wby, M r Ci-nli, u >'ou luv nlrcmlT pu>-
pesMd uf u probat, and Ivttvni of nrtiiuiUtrn-
ikm dc honli tiro )£niill<:il, yntx inav kub ur b«
fued. 1 hold it Kitind ductnitc for no executor
lo di9chmq^dcbl«,witlu)ut M rc-fxipt u|joii r(.T'>rd;
this CAn be nl>l:iiiu (I liv no iin-aii^ but liji nil no
tion. Now nction«, Mr, are of vurioci^ kinds:
Tbere arc special actions; artktns on tliy cast',
or a-wvptitt ; ai-llnns uf tiotvr; urli(>ii!i nf
tlQUsum f regit : iirli-Mis of biitlcrv, aniousuf —

CVf]6. Iley, tlif duvji. wIhtc'b tlic ft-llim niii-
nJni: tUiv } Uul liai LV, ]jilitnT, \\\\y I t|iiit):;lil
all our IttU'iiTuccedint^ft Here dirt-cicd to U: id
Enc;Iiih?

ImI. True, M r Crab.

Crab. Aud vstuit du you call all this stufTi haf

iMt. Fj}|tliB>Il.

Cmh. I'tic (k-kil Yfxi <ln !
Lnl. Vernaciilnr! upon iiijr honour, ^Ir (^rn1>.
VuT as lord C^kc dcrvtibcs the cnminnii law tu

be the pcric. limi

Cr»h. -Si here's .1 fresh (Iclngc 111" impfriincncc.
A tnicc tu tliT aijttinrillc*., I bc^: aiit! n.<> I rind
it will be iiiipuMbte lo undctxiuid thee wiUmiit
an iiitcfprcltr, if you will incvt inc iit like, nt
Mr Bricft. clinmbrrs why, if yuii have niiy Uiing
to Miy, he Mill tntniklnle it for nic.

SmI. Mr Uric r. sir, and trnn^lnte, sir ! Sir, I
would have yuii to kmiw, tltni. no firnclitioncr in

'WetUuuuict^hall eivcs clpartr^

Ctah. .Sir, I believe it — for wliirh reason 1
have referred you to a man who never goes intu
We»tiiiiiete r>hal I .

Lat. A bad proof of his pmrtice, Mr Cmh.
Cro^ A gnnd one of hi» prtu;;iplc5, MrLnti-
or.

l^i. Why sir, do tou think ihiit a lawyer

CVa&. ifounds, ^i^. 1 iievc-r t)i<(uv;lit almut ii
biwver. The law is an omcuhir idol, you are Uie
cxpliuialory mini^cn ; nor should any of my
uttn pnvaie i-oiicc-niitba^e made nic Iww tn your
brutly Uaal, I had rollirr tunc a cause lliuii
fuTtrf^t it. And hnd not this old dwitiitj diinrc.
9u John Uud;. placocd rnr witli the n)iinnf;t.'mc-i)l
iif hix iti'incy. and tlic cnic of hit lH>uhv b<iv,
ticdlani qhfMdd aooncr have had inc than the bar,
SmI. Bedlam! the bar ! Since, »ii,lnnipro-
%okctl* I don't knot* what your cJioice umv lie,
ur what your friends mny ( boose for you : I wish
I «■• your ffrothaiii ami : Hut I am uihUt M>mr
#lantila aa Iu tlic aniiity of the testator, othL-rwi»c
be could not have diown for )»*■ executor, under
Am iraclioa uf the law, a person who despi^e^
the bw. And the Inw, inic ntc- leave to tell you.
Mr Crab, i» the bulMmk, lite fence, tlie |>rutec-

Crab, Mercy, good six and e'tghtpence !

ImI. 1'hc dcfuncr, and otTcncc, the by which,
and the whereby, the statute conimun. aud cus-
tointiry : ur, sn I'bwden classically nod elegantly
cxprcucit it, 'tis

jl/oi fnmnrwwf r^-tut morft, coasulta, trnalut^
Hitc tnuju$ tlalHunt trrra Siritanaia tibi,

Crnli. Zctund^ bir, anion*; all yuor lawf, ore
there none to protect a man iu his o»n honse?

Lat. Sir, a man's hr>n»c i* hi% cattdfuiit, his
cnstir; anil »o tendrr is the law of any infni)i:e>
uieut of that sacred rigliT, that any attempt tn
invade it by force, fraud, nr violence, ctai)de&-
tiuulvi or vitt nr/rru, is not only di.*tiin<'d tclunioii«,
hut 'burglarious. Now, sir, a burglary iimy be
committed, eitlter upon tbc dwcllii^ or the out-
house.

Crak O hid ! O lud !

Entrr Sfrrant.

Ser. Your rlcrk, sir — llic parties, he says, art
all in waiting at yuor rhamlten.

IM. I come. I mIII but Just ciplain tn .Mr
CVab the nature of a burglary, a^ it hns been de-
scribed hv a late atalule.

Crab, Zounds, sir [ I liorc nut the least curio*
sity.

Lat. Sir, but every gantlcman should know^.

Crab. Dear sir. W coiic.

Xol. But by the laie acts nf par— -

Crab. Uejf), you dug ! /ouuds ! &ir, get out of
my house !

Ser. Your client>, sir-

Crab. Pusli him out ! \TJif ItrvHer tnlkiag all
Ihetrhilc] .So ho ! Hark'c, ra*rf^ih if vou suSer
that fellow to eater mydoont u};aiii. I'li strip and
JiMartl vou tlio very next minute. [Eril y/r-
lanl.] Tins i» but the be^iuuinf[or my tonneikt«.
But that I exp<'ct the young wltelp from ubrond
every instant, I'd fly fur it myself and quit tlw
kingdom at once.

Enter Servant.

Str. My young master's trarclling tutor, sir,
just arrived.

Crah. Oh. tlien I suppou: (he blocklicad of a
barotict is close at his hecl!>. Show hin in. ThiK
hrur-tcader, I reckon now, is either tlie clumpy
i-'urate of the knittht's perish church, or some
needy llifthUinder, Uio outrast of his coiniti-y,
who, with the prtdf of a Cicruum btiron. the ix*-
vertv of a Krencii iiian|uis, the address of n Swin
Aotdier, and tlie IcaruiiiK of nn ui-adernv-ushcr,
\h to (;iie our htir-apparcnl |Kilitcue»s, luali-,
tilrraturc — a perfect luiotvlcd<jc of the world,
aud uf himself.

■

188

BRITISH DRAMA.

CFOOTB.

Crab. Oh, a British chield, by the mass-
Well, where's your charge ?

Mac. O, the youiig raronet Is o* die road. I
was mighty- afraid he had o'erta'cn ine; for, be-
twecQ Canterbury and Rodiester, I was stopt
and robbed by a highwayinai).

Crab. Robbed ! What the fleril coiild he rob
you of?

Mac. In gude troth, nut a ihighty booty. Bu-
chanan's history, Lauder against Melton, and twa
pund of high-drjed Glasgow.

Crab. A good travelling equipage ! Welt, and
wliat's become of your cub ? where have you left
him?

Mac. Main you sir Charles ? I left him at Ca-
lais, with another young nobleman returning
from his travels. But why ca' ye him- cul^
Maister Crab? In gude trotH, there's a meeghty
attemtion.

Crab. Yes, yes ; I hare a shrewd guess at his
iniprovemcnts.

Mac. He's quite a phenomenon.
Crab. Oh, a conKt, I dare swear ; but not an
unusual one at PaHs. The Fauxbourg of St.
Germain's swarms with such, to the no small
amusement of our very good friends the Fi-ench.
Mac. Oh, the French were mighty fond of
him.

Crab. But as to the language, I suppose he's a
perfect master of that ?

Alac. He can caw for anght that he need ; but
he h na quite maistfer of the accent.
Crab. A most astonishing progress !
Mar. Suspend your judgment a while, and
you'll find him all you wish, allowing for the
sallies of Juvenility ; and I must take the
vanity to myself of being, in a great measure, the
author.

Crab. Oh, if he be but a faithful copy of
the admirable ori^nul, he must be a finished
piece.

Mac. You are pleased to compliment.
CraL Not a wbiu Well, ana what — Z sup-
pose you and your What's your name ?

Mac. Macrutlien, at your service.
Crab. Mncrutlieri ! Hum ! You and your
pupil agreed very well?

Mac. Perfectly. The young gentleman is of
an amiable disposition*

Crab. Oh, ay ; and it would be wrong to sour
his temper. You know your duty better, I hope,
than to contradict him ?
Mac. it was na for me, Maister Crab.
Crab. Oh, bv no means, Mr Mocruthen ; all
your buMiicss WHS to keep him out of frays; to
take care, for rhe sake of his health, that his
wine was genuine, and his mistresses as they
shnuUl be. You pimped for him, I suppose?
Mac. Pimp for him ! D'ye mean to affront —
Crab. 1\t sup|io5c the contrary would be die
affront, Mr Tutor. What, man, you know the
world ? Tis not by cootradictioUf but by com-

pliance, tbat men make their fottunes. And
was it for you to thwart die humoor of a lad^
upon the threshold of tea tbousand poonds ft-
year ?

Mac. Why, to be sure, great alkmances most
be made.

Crab, No doubt, no doubt !

Mac, I see. Muster Crab, ^m know man-
kind. You are sir John Back's eiecator?

Crab. True.

Mac. I have a litde thought that maj be osfr-
ful to us baith. •

Crab. As how?

Mac. Cou'd na we contrive to make a hond o*
the young baronet?

Crab. Explain.

Mac. Why you, by the will, have the* care o'
the cash ; and I can make a shJf)E to manage the
lad.

Crab. Oh, I conceive you ! Aad so, between
US both, we may contrive to ease him of that in-
heritance which he knows not how properly to
employ, and apply it to our own use. Yon do
know how.

Mac. Ye ha' hit it

Crab. Why, what a superlatiTe rascal art thoa,
thou inhof^pitable villain f Under the roof, and in
the presence, of thy benefactor's representative,
with almost his ill-bestowed bread in tbr moudL
art thou plotting the perdition of his only diild!
And from what part of my life didsc dura derirs
a hope of my compliance with sadi a beltiih
scheme i

Mac. Maister Crab, T am of a nation — —^

Crab. Of known honour and integrity — I idlotr
it. The kingdom you have quitted, in consignhqt
the care of its monarch, for ages, to yourpre^ce^
sors, in preference to its proper subjects, ha
given you a brilliant panegyric^ that no other
people can parallel.

Mac. Why, to se sure

Crab. And one happiness it is, that though m-
tional glory can be:nn a brightness on parbcolsflf
the crimes of individuals can never reflect a dis-
grace upon their country. Thy apology but tf-
gravates thy guilt.

Mac. Why, Maister Crab, I

Crab. Guilt and confusion choak thy utter-
ance ! Avoid my sight ! vanish ! [^Exit Mac]
A fine fellow thi», to protect the person, infona
the iucxpericnce, direct and moderate the deares,
of ai) uubridled hoy ! But can it be Strang,
whilst the part^nt negligently accepts a supcriiciil
recommendation to so important a trust, that the
perMin, whoee wants, perhaps, more than his
abilities, make desirous of it, shonid consider the
youth as a kind of property, and not study what
to make him, but what to make of him ; and
thus prudently lay a foundation fur his futuie
sordid hopes, by a criminal compliance with the
lad's present prevailing passions? But rice and
folly rule the world — Without, there !

FoOTE.]

BUmSH DRAM.V

I8<>

Enter Servant.

I

I

Ranod, wliere d'jroii run, blorklicud ? Did the
girl come hiUier. Fresh iiiRbinres fverv mo-
ment, fonify my abhorrence, Diy dcicrtaiion nf
mankind. "ITiis turn may be termfd misan-
tltropy, aikI imputed to din«;nn nod disappoint-
netir ; but it can only be by thoM; for>lt> who,
tlimu(;h KifhieM nr iernorance,' re^nrd the faults of
oflicr^ like iheir own, throuch the wrong end of
the [wnjiectiTe.

EnfcrLticiNDA.

So, mhtltj I suppoae your spirits are all oIloaL ?
You have Itrara your fctlnw% crtmiiig?

Imc. Ifyirtihnd your usual diM'cnimcnt, sir,
you «MHiId distinguish ir» my cnunienance nii ex-
preMon very dilH-rrnl rruni tliat of jny.

Cr«(; Oh, what ! I ^uppose your imrtiLey htui
broke his diain, or your parrot died in moult-
tag}

hut. A per«)n less censorious than Mr Crab,
nuKht BWBB a more generous niulive fur my dt&-
treaa.

Crah- Distress! A prttty poetical phrase !
^lint motive can'sl thnu have for d>»treM? lla^
not sir John Buck's death objured thy fr>r1une?
and art not tiioii

Luz. By that very tiKans, a helpless, unpro-
tected orphan.

tVfl*. Poh ! prithee, wencli, none of thy ro-
mintic rant to nv. What, I krintv the sex •- thr
olg|*ei& Ml* every wumun'a winh arc property and
ptNwr. llic tir>t you have, and the »ecood ynu
won't br hint; wttJKmt ; for Itere's a puppy riding
pPH tu fKit on yiur diains

Lm€. It would Hpptur afTectattan not to ut»-
flerMHid you. And to denl t'rrcU, i( was upon
that lolyrct I wished to cninn;'' yo'i.

Craft. Your uifonnutidn was needless; I knew
it

Lme. "Suy^ lait why »o itnere? I did flnlter
piweJflimi the rery wann recoratncitdutioii nf
ynnr dccrain) friend wuold hive abated a liulc
of ihail rtf*Nir.

Crat N't) whetdltr»ir, Lucy. Age and con-
icmpi hate Iohk ^hut fhe«e fjates ngain<>c Anttery
and dt*Minul:ttion. V»n lute no svx for nic.
Withoi.t prefire. ipeok yonr purpose.

i ttf Whul l.'ien, in ■> utjrri, i« Your advice
widi rcjrartl to my marrying lir Charles Hiirk?

i^rah. Aiid dit you seriously want tuy advice i

i^f. ftl'rti sinterrly.

t^ah. 'Ilienyoiiare alilr»cVhcad ! Why, wlicn-
y<)«i mend yourielf ' Is not ba a fool, a
c, and w love ?— IjwItV-, girl.

Kntcr Servant.

Whoy sent fur juu, sir f

Ser. Sir, mj yauDg master's po&t-chui» it

broke down ai ihc cnmer of the »reet by a coal-
cart, liis clothes are all dirt, and ho swears like
II trooper.

Crah. Ay*! Why, then, carry his chniw lo
the coacli-niakcr's, lits coat to a scowcrer's, and

him bct'orc a jonticc Prtthe**, why durt

iTDuble me? I »u|>poi)e you would not meet your
gallant?

Luc. Do you think I should }

Cntb. No, retire. And if iliis application
for my advice is not a copy uf yuiir anititcii-
nnce. n mask — if you are obedient, J may set
you njiht-

Ijtc. I shall with pleasure fullow your direc-
tions. [Erie.

Crab. Now we khal) see what Paris has dune
for this puppy. But here he comes, light as the
cork in his heels, or (he feather in his hnl.

Enter Buck, Lord Johs, La Lotnc, BKAityors,
and Macrctbek.

Butk. Xot a word, mi Lor ; jemie, it is not lo
lie supported ! — after boint; rvntpu tout v^'. di»-
joiuted by that ciecrabk- povCf to be tumbled
it>to a kennel by a tilthy cfiarUtntticr^ a dirty re-
tailor of s«a-rosU, t»nrb4eu .'

Jjtrtl John. An iictudciit that mt^ht have hap-
pened any where, sir Charles.

Buck. And tlini the hiile iii>^ lK>olings of thiit
detestable cauaille^ thnt niurthcroio innh, with
hHrkirouH. ' Moaaicur in the muH, huzza !' Ah,
pais Miium^e, biirbarc, tHhaipilablr ! Ah, ah,
^tt'eai re aue maia avans V Wlio?

M^ic. 'iliat ta Maister Crab^ your father's exe-
cutor.

Buck. Ha, ha, Scrvilevr trti kumMe, Jlfon-
tieur. EA bien ! What? ts he dunih? Mar, mi
Ia^t, mart de wo vie-, tlte veritable Jark-roB«-
bcct'of tilt* Krcocii Comedy. Ha, Im ! bow do
you do. Monsieur Jadi-roast-bcef?

Crub. IVithec take a turn or two about tlic
room.

Buck. A turn or two! Vohntiert, Eh bienf
Well, have you, in your life, wen ooy thing so,
lia, hit, licy ?

Crab. Never. I hope yoo bad nut many spec-
talurs of your turohlcf

Back. Four^uoir Why so?

Cnih. Bccaiite I would not hnre the public
Oirio^ity t'r.resinlled I can't but think, in «
country ftii fund of 9tran}:e sights, if you were
i^cpt up u little, yuu uouid bring a great deal of
money.

Buck. I don't know, my drar, what ray person
would pruduee ia ihi^ country, but the cvunler-
part of your very griitcsque (ijrure has been ei-
t.-'tinely. beiieticiaj ii> tin.- coinudiaiii from wheticc
I came. JV'»f-ce pat vraii, mi lor ? Ho, ha !

Jjjrti Joiin. The resemblance dfjcs not strike
inc. FcrliHps I may seem singuhir ; hut lite
particular custoina af particular countries, I oirn,

:

190

BRITISH DRAMA;

[FooiB«

Dei-cr appeared to me as proper objects of ridi-
cule.

Buck. Why BO ?

Lord John, Because, in this case, it is impos-
sible to huv« B rule for yotir judguieot. The
forms Bud customs which climate, cunstitution,
and governnieiit, have t^iveii t<i one Liiij^iluin, can
never be iraiisplantod with advatititge to ano-
ther, founded on ditfereot principles. And thus,
though the liubits and manners of different couiv-
tries may be directly opposite, yet, in my humble
conception, tlicy umy be strictly, because nutu>
rally, righr.

Crub. Why, there are some glimmerings of
ctimmon S<'nsc abuut this vniing thini;. Ilurk'e,
child? by whiit accident did you stumble 'upon
this blockhead? — [To Hick.] 1 siipimM; the tine
of your uoder&tanding is tuo shurt to fulhuni the
depth of your ctmipanion's reasoning?

Buck. My dear! [Onpn.

Crab. I say you can draw no conclusion from
the above prenii-^es.

Buck. Whu, I i Damn your premises and
conchisions too ! Fiut this I conclude, from whnt
I have »€c», niv dear, that the French arc the
f\nt people in tfic universe; that, in the urtb of
livin)!, they do, or ou^ht to give laws to the whole
world; and that, whosoever would either cat,
drink, dre^s, dance, %iit, sii)<r, or even siicexc,
uvtr t:legini(t\ mu&t go to Paris to team it. This
is my creed.

Crult. And these precious principles you are
come here to propH>;nte?

Buck. C'esl vrai. Monsieur Crab: and, witli
the aid of these hrotlier missionaries, I have no
doubt of making a great many prof^elytes. And
DOW for a detail of tiieir qualities. Benrnois,
drrancez ! This is an otficer of my household, un-
known to this country.

Crab. And wiiat may be be? — I'll liumuur the
puppy.

Buck. This is ijiy Swiss porter. Te7iez vous
droitf Bcarnoi!^. There's a hercc figure to guard
the gate of an hotel.

Crab. What, do you suppose that we have no
porters ?

Buck. Yes, you hav e dunces that open doors ;
a drudgery that this fellow does by deputy. But
for intrepidity in denying a disHgrceublc visitor ;
for politeness in introducing a mistress; arute-
ness in discerning, and constancy in excluding,
a dun, a greater genius never came from tlia
cantons.

Crab. Astonisliing qualities!

Buck. Relircz, Bt'aniois. But here's a btjou,
here's a jewel indeed! Vencz icij mon cher La
Loirr-. Comihcnt_ frouvcz vouz ce Baiis ici f

Lii IjjiTf. Trh bieit.

lUck. Wry well. Civil creature! Tins, Mon-
sieur Crab, is my cook IjO Loire ; and fur hon
tl'teavtu, ttitre rjtis, lu^tiitt^ eitremets, aud the

disposition of a dessert, Paris never sow his pa«
raliel.

Crab. His wages, I suppose, are proporttoncii
to his merit?

Buck. A I>agatelle, a trifle. Abroad but a bare
two hundred. Upon his cheerful complianoe
in coming hitlier mt» exile willi ui^ I have in-
deed doubled his t>tip(:ud.

Crab. You could do no less.

Buck. And now, sir, to complete my equipage^
txff/trde^ monsieur Ln Jonquil, my &m valet de
chumbre, excellent in every tbin^; ; but, pOur I'ac-
comimtdage, tor drcorating the bead, iniiuitable.
In one wcrd, l/i Jonquil shall, for fifty to five,
knot, twist, tic, frieze, rut, curl, or comb, with any
gnr<;un |)erruquicr, jrom tlie Land's-eud tu tlM
Orkncyti.

Ciij'. Why, wliat an inGnitc fund of public
-■pii'it must yuu have, ti> diniu your purK, morti-
fy your inclinution, aial exjwse your person, fur
the mere improvement of your countryiueu !

Back. Oh, 1 am a very Roman for that. Bat
at present I hail auothir reason for retvniiug.

Crab. Av, wlwt can Unit be?

Buck. WMiy, I fnitt there is a liketilwiod of some
little fnicas between us. But, upon my soul, we
must bd very brutal to quarrel with the dev
HgrceahU; creatures for a trifle.

Crab. Tliey have ytiur iitloctious, theu?

hack. De tout mon cuur. From the inSnite
civility shown to us in I'nuiCf;, and their frieodly
profession!) in favour of our country, they can ne-
ver intend us an injury.

Crab. Oil, you have liit their humour to a hair!
But I can have no longer patience witli titc pup-
py. Civility and fricndahip, you booby ! iti,
their civility at Paris has not tele you a guioei io
your pocket, nor would tlicir friendslup 'ft yuur
nation leave it a foot of land in ihc umvcne.

' r>uck. Lord Jolin, this is a strange old fcllu*!
Take my word for it, my dear, you mistake thb
thing ei:rc;:.io;iiily. But all you English are cw
stitutionally sullen. November-fogs, with ailt
bnilcd hcef, are luost cursed recipes fori(ood-hu-
motir, or a quick apprebensiun. Paris is tlic place!
'Tis ilicre men laugh, love, and live. Vinf*-
mour ! Sans amour, el taii$ set deiirtj mm cnr
ett bien moim heureux quit ne pciue.

Crab. Now, wuuld not any soul suppose, tbat
this yelping hound had a reairclisii fur tbecooD-
try he has quitted ?

Buck. A mighty unnatural suppouCioo, trolj ■

Crab. Foppery aud Hffectation all.

Buck. Aad do you really think Paris a kiod
of purgatory, ha, my dear ?

Crab. To thee the most solitary spot upoa
earth, my dear, — Familiar puppy I

Buck. Whimsical enough. But come, poMC
paster le terns, let us, old i)i(^em*s enter iuto >
litiic debate. Mi lor, and you, Macrutheo, <le-
icrmine the dispute between that source of <k-

r

ritlite, cff pQradit He pfaitir, and tliis care of care,
ihift »eftt »f Korvy aiul dif spleen.

Mot. Lti a% h«d thciD wwU mjr lord. Miiis-
tCT Crab tta^ met with lii^ inaU'b.

Bmtk, AimI lir*t, for tlie grc«t [ilcBsiire of life,
the pleMorc of (he rable -. Ah, tjuettc differtiicr f
Tht eft>r, ihc wit, the wiop, ilip btidinuge, the
permtage, the double tntenttre, tlm cfiriHsons a
Mrv/ O hImI drticioii^ morncnU have 1 pa&sed
eirt vuulamt la tfttrhetse de Harbo*ifiac .'

Crab. Yniir miitrcbs, I »up|y»«?

Back. WJm, I ? Fi ifonr ,' How » it possible
foe a womin to Itavt a penchant for inc ? Ilcv,
Ibcf

Mac. Sir Charles ia too ranch n man of bonuor
10 bht). But, to Hiy truth, the wholo citj of Pa-
m thooy^ht as niucb.

Crah. A precious fellow tbis !

Bmck. TaUe; rxryi, Mac But we lo?c tlic
fKimt io rieyt. Now, luniiiivur Crnb, Irt me coji-
(Itict itju to nhat yuu mil an enrertaiiitncnt.
AikI nnt : the inclnnrholv iMi<itr(><i<t i<' t'lxril in her
cbair, whcrr, br llic by, tdc is conilcinneil to do
aure rinidgery iban a dmy-horsc. Next pro-
ceeds the maner to marftlial the gucatk; in n^icb
ts much caottoii is necessArv a« at a cortmation;
With, ' Mv Indy, sit birp/ nnd, ' sir Thomas Nt

* there:* till the Icnj'ib <if the ceremony, nith the
■| of ihr ct'ace, Iiave destroyed all apprrbcti-
i of the meal's burniryi your mouths.

Jfte. Braro, braro ! Did I na wy, &ir Cliarlcft
m» a phenotDenon i

Crak. Peace, puppy !

Bmek. Then, in sulniin sifeoce, they proceed
tn defDolish tlic subMaiitials, with prrhnps nn ik--
(a^inoal intirniptinn of, * Here's to vou, friends ;'

• Hob Of nob ;* * Ymir love and mine' Purk tntc-
ceedi to beef, py« to puddin|>s. The chlU is
femoved. Madam, drenched wiHi n hiiiiipcr,
drofis a cujtsey, nnd departs; If:iviiie ihe jovial
hoM, with his 3pn2htlv coropimiuns, to bibacco,
pnrt, ami politics. Violtl uti repas i la mode if An'
gUfcrre, moiiaieur C'rah,

Crab. It is a tbniisaud pities that v'>iir father
h not a bring witness of these prodigious irn-
frnrvmaotv

Butk. C^ett mu. BuL, i propot, he i» dead,
m mm «iy, ntul you are

CTraA. AeaiiMt my inclination, his executor.

BwA. Prut'€trf: well, und

Cruh. Oh, my trust will soon delertninp. One
vticle, indeed, I ani strictly enjoined to >ec pcr-
fofracd ; vour marriage with your old acqunint-
■lee LocmdR.

Bmek. Ha, lut, la petUe Lncinde ! et com-
mmt

Cnh. Prithee, peace, and lietir me. She Is
bequratbed condilinnttllr, ibnt if you refuse to
■Harry brr, tneiicy ibotiKind pnuiuU; nnd if sIk-
r*T*T-t) you, which I Mip[K)sc slic rtitl have tlic
«Qdoin to du, oolv €Te.
J

fliir^ Hcject mc ! Very pfnbftMe, l»y, Mac f
But conld not we luivc :»n rntrcnif t

Crab. Wlio's tlicrtf— Let Luciada know we
cipect her.

3f«r. Had na yc better, sir Cliarlcfi, equip
yourscll in a more suitiiblc garb upon a fin^i visit
to your mi^trcM?

Crab. Oh, !^ucll a fietirc and addrcu can de-
riic no ndrnnlnne from Hrc«.

hnch. Serritetir. Ilut, honevrr. War's hint
tnay not be so mat n promtt. AHaut, Joiii|ui!, Je
m'en Vtih iM'kabifler. Mi lor, shall I trespass up-
on ymir patience? Mt toilette is but a work of
\tin minutes. Mac, disjH)^ of my domestics a
Icur aiiTf mid »hen «itfiiH tiic with my p'>rt-
fcuillr, and read, >*hile I d'C<\ ihi'-r remarks I
made in Ivhi vo^'a^e fiom Fouutniublcu to Com*
peignc. Sernteur, meisicurs.

Car If. ban vin

Du matin,
Soitant i/u lanaeau,
Vaut hien mieitj gue

Le J at in
Detoutta Sorbonne. [ Er/f.

Crab. Tliis is tlw most conmmmatc c<ixcotnb !
I told the fool of a faihcr what a pi'ppv Vims
»ciuld produce him; but travel is the wtiid, and
rlic ctmsequcncc an ini porta don of r»ery foi-cicii
folly: Aiid thus tfic plain pcrvins nnd p(ir»riplir»
of old Knglnnd arc so coDtouiidcd ami juinbtcd
with the cxcrcmentitiou* ly^owih ol every cli-
niiiic, timl wc have Kst all our yjicicnl dwivnc-
tcr»tti'<^ aitd arp bf^vjine a bundle of Cfrntnivlic-
tjons, a piece of patcli-work, n mere liarlcfjuin's
coal.

L^rdJohn. Uo you suppose then, s'v, that no
good m»y )}C obtained

C'rafr. Why, prillwc, what have you f^ned }

S/>rd Joha. i bliould be sorry rny acquisiii<mft
were to determine the deliHle. Hut. do yon think,
»ir, tlie sbiiking utTMiinc unlive qualities and thn
bein^ made more sensible, from cimipanMiu, of
certain national and cotislituliunul adv:intagcs,
objects unworthy the attention?

Crab. Yon show the ftL\oura)>Ie side, young
man : But how frcquentlv are sahstituicd lor na^
linnnl pre pos^rs.^ion!>, always hu^n|pK^, and often
hiippy, cniltv ami unnatural prejudices ? Linna-
ltir.ll ! For t!ii> urclch who is weak ami kicked
I iKiujEh to dL^piso his country, sins agninsi tlie
mtRit luuilabk* Inw of nature; he is n Imitor to
the comniijiMty wlitrc providence has placod him,
nnd »hMjld l>r denied ihotw> sticml betHifiU he biu
rendered himself unworthy o |tartaLe. But scn-
lentiouB leuurcs are dl culculated for your time
of life.

Ijard John. I differ from you here, Mr Crab.
PriiicipU^, thai call for perpetnal practire, can-
not be luo soon reocircd. I Kintxrely Uuuik

192

BRITISH DRAMA.

CFOOTB.

ynOf stTf for this coniDiuiiicatioD, and duuld be
nappy to have alwajs near me so moral a moni-
tor.

Crab. You are iodebted to France for ber
flattery. But I leave you with a lady^ where it
will be better employed.

Enter LuciNDA.

Crab. This young man waits here till your
poppy i& powdered. You may ask him after
your Frciidi acquBuntaoce. I kdow nothing of
him ; but he does not seem to be altogether so
great a fool as your fellow. [Exit,

Luc. T am afraid, air, you bave had but a dis*
agreeable tite a tUe.

L.Jokn, Just the contrary, madam. By^ood
acnse, tinged with singularity, we are entertained
as well as improved. For a lady, indeed, Mr
Crab's manners are rather too rough.

Lac. Not a Jot; I am familiarized to them.
I know his iott^ity, and can never be disobliged
by his sincerity.

L. John. This declaration is a little particular
from a lady, M-ho must have received her first
impressions iu a place remarkable for its delicacy
to the fair-sex. But good-bense can conquer even
early habits.

Imc. This compliment I can lay no claim to.
The former part of my life procured me but very
little indulgence. The pittance of knowledge I
possess, was taught me by a very severe mistress.
Adversity. But you, sir, arc too well acquainted
with sir Charles Buck not to bave known my si-
tuation.

L. John. I have heard your stofy, nadam, b^
fore I had the honour of seeing yoo. It vras af-
fecting : You'll pardon the decmrafrm t it now
becomes interestm^ — However, it is impossible
I should not congratulate yon on the near w^
proach of the happy catastrophe.

Imc. Events that depend upon the will of ano-
ther, a thousand unforesera acctdents may inter-
rupt.

Lord JbAn. Could I hope, madwn, your pre-
sent critical condition would acquit me of teme-
rity, I should take the liberty to presume if the
suit of sir Charles be rejected-—

Enter Ceab.

Crab. So, youngster ! whatrl wo,\i^mt von are
already practising one of vour foreiicn leMons.
Perverting the a&ctions of a fiieod*a mistreN,
or debauching his wife, are mere peccadilloos ia
modem morality — But at present, yuu are ny
care. That way conducts you to yoor felkn^
traveller. {Exit Lord Johh.^I would *pe*k
with you ID the library. \Eat.

Lue. I shall attend you, sir. Never was so
unhappy an interruption ! What could my lonl
mean ? But be it what it will, it ought not, it
cannot concern me. — Gratitude ano doty il^
mand my compliance with the dying wi^ of ny
benefactor, my friend, my father. Bat am 1
then to sacrifice all my future peace ? But r»
son not, rash ^rl ! obedience is thy province.

Though hard the task, be it my part to pro*^
That sometimes du^ can ^ve laws to lore

ACT II.

SCENE— I.

Buck at hit toiiet, attended b^ tkrec vaktt de
chambrej and Macbvthen.

3foc. NoTWiTHSTANDiNO aw his plain dcal-
ii^, I doubt whether muster Crab is so honest a
man.

Bttck. Pr'ythce. Mac, name not the monster.
If I may be permitted a quotation from one of
ttieir paltry poets,

' Who is knight of the shire, represents them
all.

Did ever mortal see such mirrors, such looking-
glasses, as. they have here too ? One mi^t as well
address one's self for information to a bucket of
waUT. — La Jonquil, metteiootu le rouge auex.
lie bien, Mac^ miserabU ! I ley ?

Mac. 'Tis very becoming.

BticA. Ay, it wilt do for this place ; I really
could have furfjiven my lather's living a year or
two lunger, rather than be compelled to return to

this [Enter Jxird John.] My dear lord, je

demand tnilU pardons ; but the terrible fracas in
3

my chaise, had so gatid and disordered my ^i
that it required an ^e to adjust it.

Lord John. No apology, sir Cbariei; I bm
been entertained very agreeably.

Buck. Who have you had, ray dear lor^to
entertain you ?

Lord John. The very individusJ lady tla&
soon to make you a happy husband.

Buck. A happy wtio ? busbaud ? Whit(«

very opposite ideas have you confounded eoscm-
hic ! — Id my conscience, I believe there's ««*•
gioii iu the clime, and m' lor is infected. Bit
pray, mi dear lor, by what acddcDt have jvt
discovered that I was upon the point of becoauBg
that happy Oh, vn mart .' diaile !

Lord John. The lady's beauty and meri^jou
inclinations mid your father's injuncbooii nHb
me cunjerture that.

Buck. And can't you suppose that the bid/i
beauty may be possessed, her merit rewarded
aaA my iuctiiiatiuns jn^ttticd, without aaakiobl*
obcdicncR to that fatherly injunction?

Lord John. It dues not occur to ne.

FOOTB,!

IBmek. No, I beliere oot, tni lor. Thoie kind
oftalroCftBre nut icivcii c«j cvcrjr Uiily. Dvuntz
w&k man mamckoH. And now yan shall icc me
niMn|e the My.
S
bor

Enter Servmit.

Ser. YoBDg K|utf« lUcbei Dod sir Tob; TMy-
bov, who call ihcinvelvts your honcnir's old «o>

Buck. Oh tlie brutes! Bt whatncc<dent rould
ihcf discover m? arnvnl? fe dear, dear lor, uid
ne In escApe tliii cmbumn.

Racket antf Tallvboz K'iMouf.

Ifoic a hoy, boic a boy !

Bmtk. Let me die if I do not tirlicv? ihn Ifcit-

i have hrou^ht a wlintL- Itundri'd of lioutnU
Willi dMm. But, they my, toriiii keep t'oois ut ii
ni receive tlicm ^h cCTYWdiir.

P.

Enirr ILl( KCT Wjd TALt.TBOE.

7UL Hey boy ; boics, my littlf Buck I

Buck. >fanM£Hr it C/temimr, votret trts hum-

Tut He? ?

Buck. Jilonticur Racket, Je nit cMamiiiitzstus
mir.

■ Xor. Aran ! wbat i

H Buck, Ne nienteMiUi tvoi ? Don't you knav*

■ Fraxkf

I ftor. Knaw Frrnch ! Kn, nor vou ocitbcr, 1

^L^Enk. Sir Toby. Tore Vtvui. I Wl»erc tlic pa|)LSt^

^VjpTbcwitchH him m torrten pnrlji.

^■*' TaL Bewitrhed, tuid iranvfuniied liim too. L/:i
■BMrUh, Racket, ii I doii't ttuttk he's liLc utic
0^ (m feiln wc u«rd tn read of nt scliooj, in Oi-iHS
Uetamorpbous ; they bavr turned him into a

ttmc. A heftM ) No; a bird, you fool. Lookee,
wToby.bythe loni Hurry. Ix're ore hi* wiit^»*

Ts/. Hry ! rC4>d, Mm! xj they nrf, Im, li» ! I
'*'duia, Racket, he auue uier with the vrntMl*

BurJr. VoilMdetxirttmbie AngtoU. Tlicrasitc,
Hide Ril&afis !

ttor. Ln uA see what the deril lie has got upon
l"»jirit, «r Tobv.
Tni, A».

iittk, bo, dear sarafe^ Lecp your dtstaucc !
Ttd. Smr, Tore Ucut^c wc itiU bav0 a tcru-
tiat.
Hir, Ay, ay, a scnidny.

Bock. P.H rrorr. La juriqutl ! mt lor ! protect me
"^ thpir pirates !

Uri Jp4a. A tittle campaMion, I beg. gcndf^
^w— Corwjder, sit Charlrs is upon a ruit tu his
wife

TW. RriUe! Zoood*. he'» fitter for a band>bot
^Wl«, bodtt the heels.
^'■LllL

395

Jixtr. I liavc them. knighL Tore irad, Sc ts tlie
rery nncrsc of a Qaotaui cock — Wis cutiib's on

liis feet, and his fentlicni on his head. Who

bavo wc got here? What arc thc%e three fi'lbm •« }
Viuiry'Cookii

Enter CtiAa.

CroK And is this uoe of your n&wl)'«acquirvd
nck-omplishnicnts, IcrtintE your mistress Ungiii'^h
i'or n but vqu have oompany, I *cc.

Buck, U >e»; I linte been incxpn-asibly hap-
py.— These gciirlcniCD orr kind cnuujlt tu treat
tne. Ofxin my nrn%-al, with v-hM I believe ibcv

call, Ml thib country, a rnule My dear lor, if

Voo dju't fiivour luy fliRJit But bCC il' the

CtuuIh nn't tumbling my I'lilcl !

lAtrd John. \qw*& your timtf, sita! off. — Vl\
cover your retrrnt,

Buek. MtM', let Tji Jonquil follow to resettle

my i-AfTviLr. Jic vomm rtmcrtie miUt, miiieJoU,

■Kon rher mi lor.

Hue. Hril«, nir Toby, stole aw.\V !

Buck. O lUiffi ]}irn .'

TiU. Poh, n*t bun; let him hIhhp. Ilcll ne-
ver do for iKtr purptiu:. Yun niu\t ku'iw vrc in>
tended tu kick up d riot l*i-niaht nl tiic plav-
houac, and we wiintod liim of tlit party ; but thut
top would twoon at iIk- silIu nf n cuogel.

Lord Jtfha. Pray, sir, wlmi ia your cause of
contention ^

W- Cause of coiitcntjon t \}cr, faitii, I knotr
nothii^ rif tlic Diaitcr. Ilarkcf, what is it vm arc
angry nbout f

Rar. Aiicrv about! — Why, you know we are
to dtMiiolifiU tTic dancers.

TaL True, true; 1 had r)rgot. Will ytni
make unci

l/rd John. I hcfE lo be cicused.

Rar. Mayhap you are a frwnd to the French f

hard John. Not I, iiidevH, !>ir— But if dir liC-
caaion will permit me a pun, ihmigh [ nui far
from bcini; a well-wii^her to thrir anns, I bote
no ubjectiiMi tu Uiu being ciitcrtniitcd by their
leok

JW. \y ?— Why then, if aoull come tn-nieht,
you'll split your sides with iniji;liin^; for 111 br
rot if we don't make tlietn coper bij;licr. and niii
faslrr, than ever th^y have done hinrc the battle
of Blenheim. Come along, Itackcti.

{Krtt.

Jjord John. Was there ever snch a coiiUaMt f

Crah. Nut so remote an ynu imafiiiic; they arc
^ious from thr same stocit, sot in dilTcreni sniUi
The tir^ shrub, you »ec, flowers mi>»L prodii;allv,
but tnntures notfimg; the but slip, tliougfa stuiitinl,
bean a Utile fruit ; crabbed, 'ti* true, but stilt
the growth of the dime. Come, tuu'll lolluw
your fric-ud. [£iif- I

Enter LocfxDA, weith u Sfr^at.

Luc, When Mr Crab ur sirCbnrlcft ini|iiirr for
3B

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FoOTE.

mc, \oiinill conduct ihecn hither. [Etit Srr-
r*int 1 Mom I \an% for an end tu this important
iiiU'-.K-wI N(H lliat I hiivc niiy grt-ai i-xpcctn-
Ui)ii> from the ia»uc; but ilill ui hit i:irciiiii3iniicea
a «in;r of siieprnce i» of hII Mtuatioio nwsl (lis-
a^rcpahtc. iiui hiuh, they cgine.

Enttr Sib CuAtitr\ MACxuTOCKf Litrd John
and CnAS.

Bvrh, M»c, pnnoopcc me,

Muc. Alminm, ^'ir CluiHea Buck rnivM tlie ho-
iwur of ki<-iiit^ y'liif hiuir).

illicit. 3jti humhi'c ten'ifevr, Et coimMitt sa
parte, HadrmoiMeUt f \^n raviahrd lo sec ihce,
ma r^'cre fi.'ih Lutrnde — Eh ^<"«, ma tttnc !
W'hv yxi lii>< 'li\iiitlY»chil«l. But, moh enfant,
tbcy Time drc*-ed you mi>-»i riiuhulicallv- Why
ViYiM a cviffriitf must yrm Knrc ! and. t>h man
}}iru ! n iuIrI uhscnce of rovff. Dot pciha^ts
vou nrc out. 1 hud a cure" from IVffrniy die
Aay tii my departure : Shnil 1 have the Uxiuur to
supply yf>ii /

i Kf- Vou nrc obliyiug, eir : but I cxinfcss itt-
te^fn convert m i!w rhasri- cu^intns iil'thisroun-
trr; ard, with » roiiiiucrLial |>eopte, you kuoH',
sir C'UnrUN all nmfirc

iimk. Artinrr ! You mistake the point, ma
cherr. A proper poiiion of red is nn Itidispci)-
snblr part of y^ur dress; and, in my pmalt opi-
nion, B woiT.nii miL'bt as well appt:if til ptiblic
withc-til powdtT or a jit-tticoai.

Crah. And iu my pTiviirf> opinion, n woman
who puts 00 the fir>l, would ninku VfiylitlJc dif-
liculiv in piillint: niT the lout.

Huek. Oh, Moi)«)cur Crab's judcment mutt be
decisive in tirrv. Well, biid what amuMnirutb,
tf hat bpccturlct, what imrtK^ icliat conlrivmiceft,
to con'jiicr folher Timt;, that foe to the fair? I
fnnc% uDc inuft Cflnufer considrrablrmrnt in jour
Loudon here.

l.ui. Oh, wc are in iw d'rarros for diTPnioni.
We hare an opera.

Ruck, ttalum, I •mppoae ; fntirahle, »hnckinit,
assiHPmuHt .' Oh, there is no supporting their hi,
ht, Ai, Ai. Ah mun-Dien ! Ah-, chaue brilliant
ioUU,

Briltiant tt)Uil.

A-t-on jaiHoit veu ton purtil9

TlicrcS music wid melody.

Ijtc. What a fop !

Buck. Bui proceed, ma />rinceiw.

L*ic. Oh, then we liave plays.

Shck. That I deny, child. "

Jaic, No plajn !

Hurk. No.

Ijic. The nstertton i* a little whtin^cal.

Binrk. Av, ihul inuy be; you liavc here drania-
Itc things, farcical in thrir composition, and ridi-
culoun in Uirir repfcsriilution.

L*if. Sir, I own mvHJlf unequal to tlw contro-
Teny; hut surely Sliakespear<>— My lord, tliis
ubu'ct callft upon you for it> defence.

Crab. I know fmni what fnuntain this fool has
dr.iwn Itii remarks ; the author of the Ctuneae
(>q>linn, ill ihc prcriii:e tnwhii;lt Mr Voltaire calif
(111-' priitci|inl works of ^htiicspcnrc raauftnius
(iircfi.

Lftrrt John. Mr Ctab U risSt, madam. Mr
VolL'iire ha« fitigmiiti7Cnl Htth a vem i<n)ust and
4 very inv)dinu!> uppeUation, ibe pnncipul woiVs
of thiit };rui(t imiMrr of the pMCtons ; and \m ap-
parent motive renders him ibe more iacxcoffr-
able.

J.uc What coald it be, my lord ?

Jjurd John. The prcvcncinc has oounbTHien
ri'oni hccoTninc RCquuiiitcd vith ntir author, that
lir nii^ht be at littcity lo pilfer fraiu him with
thr i^rejter wciinty.

/,t.«. l-'nueiicnAif, indeed !

Bifdi. I^nlpable del'amtition.

J,iir. Anil ai tu ibe eiliibitioo. I hava
tauglit to bclieret that for a natural,
and ^pl^itcd exprcMion, no people upon earth —

Buck, ^'o•t arc impOM.-d uj^nio, child; tJie L/>
(luemc, the Ijinouc tne Gratidval, the DumcnU.
tne Cattswn, what dit:nily, wliat HCltun ! Bat,
li pntpat, I hare my&clf wrote a tragedy i»
Frwicfi,

Luc. Indee<l !

Huck. En rrriti, upon Voltaire's plan.

Crnh. 'ITiat mu-st be a prcrious piece of wort.

liiick. It i^ now in repetition at the Frtnrb
cnmctlie. (.rondval and 1.A Gausscn prrf'vra
the principni panx. Oil, uluit an eclat ! Whit
a burst will it moke in th<i pnrtcrre, when the
kioc of Ananamaboo refoKs tbcjpcnon of tke
prince<ts nf Cochineal f

Luc. Do yoa rcniPinher the plU!ia((e?

buck, nniirc; and I liclievc 1 can ctmieyit
ill tlu-tr nianiv?r.

J.uc. That will he deVifihtfuI.

huck. And tirsi the king.
Ma cherc princracje vnut oime, c'rtt 9rM ;
D( mn f'fnime voui portrj let eharmanti attrwilt
Mnit ce tint pat hvnitte pour un hommr ttl fat

Dc t mm per ipa femme^ cm dt romprt mmJbL

Imc. Inimiuhlc.'

Buck. Now the pritvcess; ihe is, as ytaxuij
suppoac, in citrcine diAtn>&3i,

i.tn: No itouht.

Ilntk. Jtfon erund ret, mum dter itdorMf,
Avfi pitii de moitje tvtt ineortto/aldf.'
(Then W lunib hib bwk upon her ; at which llM^
in a fury)

Mtmtlre, ingraft afrntx, horriblr.funntt,
( >h que if rows ame, ith antje vow tUtate f
[Thei. he,]

Vtnsez T-ou:, Jilndame, i me dannrr la Imi
Voire biitTie^ Totre omour, $ont le$ mhfCttJKMti
mm.

Smc. Univo !

Lurd Jofm. Brero, bravo !

I

I

FOOTR.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

195

I

I

Buek, Ay, tlttrc'« puuon and pontrv* iinH reur
Min luid rbime. Oh, bow I detect lijimd Bud
btnak vcnc ! 'Dwn: U smoclliiiiu m) »o^, so mu-
Mcal, mud 9u natiintl, io the ricJi rhimcs u( llio
tSeaire Fhtncoii f

Lord JoAn. t did ikiI know ur Ctuirles was so
totiJljr devoted to the bt-llcs It-urcs.

ftacA. Oh, ciiUrclv. M'wtbc ton, thf Taste.
I am cvcrv night iit ittc Cttffe Pnicofr : mid hnd
oot X Umd the tui&foriunc lu tc born in ilii^ eiir^t
annti^t t ntake no doubt bttt yitu untttd huvc
Men ray name amon; the furctiiuat t^r the f'rcnch
acMtciny.

Crofr. 1 should think yna tni|^t casitv get ovnr
thkt Hif&cuit)^, ir yoii will be but mi oljli){ii«; u*
publicly Lu rtuuoiK-e u*. I dare ciism;? imt out?
of )'our cuuiiiryuiL-n hliuitUJ coiitmdict or dnim
you.

Hurk. No ! — Impavvibte. From the bfuVirily
of my «duaiLiou, 1 tuuu e\vr be Inkcii lor un

frnh. Sever.

Duck. £•! verili If

i'nh. K» iKrili.

Buck. You llattrr mc?

Crah. Bui ccitiiiiiuii ju'-ticc.

Mac. Nay, Maister Cnib is in die right ; for
1 have ttfiea liFurd tbt; Vmu-b iheiiiMUp« sar, is
ic poaiMe itiat i^nntlciLiiui c«u be Bntiah *

Bmek. OMi);ini; creatures! And you all coiv-
cnr with thni)^

Crab. Eiiiircly.

Imc. Kiitirclv.

I.ord Joha. (Entirely,

Hmk. How Imppy ynu mnkc mo !

Crab, E^nraious puppy ! Iki wc lose time.
A truce: tu thik tnjii]|Mry. Vou luvc read vnur
fathcr'twdl?

Btfk. No; I rend iv> Ijisil»»h. Wlien .Mne
ha> uirucd it iniu I'reiKb, I luay run oM:r iho
items.

Crab. I havr told you the pan tliut roitrrni«
tJits eirl. And u» yutir declnraliuii npfiu it
will duchoive mn, I leave yon to wlmt vou
will onll ao tcciairc'tiseuirnt . Cnm'^, mv l»rtl.

Hack. Nay, but MtiiiMCtir L'lab, im I.nr.
Mac I

Cro^. Alonn; n-iib us.

{Eintnt Crih onJ I/iBD Jonx.

B»uk. A couttorinblc srni|Hr 1 nm in ! \\ \r.\\
the dc-ticc am I «» dor In the luncuai^e of the
ploc*-, I HID lu tnuke lure, 1 HipfH>»c. A prettV
empioy mcnt !

JUr. I fancy mr hero b a little puzzled with
bu MfC But DOW for it.

aittk. A <)uecr crcnture, timt Cmb, ma pctiU.
Bot, A prof^fi*, Hovr d'you like my lord ?

Ijif. [It; M:citt« to lin^'O giM>d tman, and ;:iK>d

)n«duie.

Buck. Pol frop. But don't you Think he has
aot tiling uf a furcicu kind of mr about liiin ?

Lue. Foreign I

Buck. Ay» something so English in his man-
ncr?

Lue. Foreign and English I I don't compre-
hend \OU.

hack. Why tbut is be Ima not the ciuc. the
ie nc ti^iti yiioi, the >'un ton. — In a won), he does
tiut n-H!nible mr now.

Lm: Not in tlic ltra%t.

Buck. Oh, 1 tboucht,«]. He is to be pitied,
fKK>r d«vil ; be atii'l help il. Bui, cntm nous, ma
vhere, the fellow Iiua a tbrtunc.

{.uc. Mow dw* l\iai coni"em me, sir Chnrte*?

Bwk, Wliy.^^c prnif. mo reine, tliat your eyes
have done csccuiion tltcrr.

Lue. My vya rxrctition !

Biirk. Ay, rinld. t!4 llivre anr thing so ei-
traordinnrv in that? Jila J'vi, I tiioujrht, hf the
vivnoty ox hi* pmise, tliat hv had atrvudv wni-
moncd tbL ^tunsiiii to »urn-ndrr.

Luc. To CHIT) uii tbu idiiiMon. I Wlieve my
lord u t<MT i:u->d n coinniniidcr to roanntncc a
fruitless Mp<:^>. He could out but know the con-
dition of the town.

Bitch. Condition! Explain, inn rherr.

Lac. I WHS IO hopes yniir inlurview with Mr
Cmh lutd inude ttiut unnccesMiry.

Buck, Oil, ay, 1 do rt'collnrt •uininthing uf a
ridiculoui nnicle about n)urnuii.c lu a will. IttiC
whitt Bploi a^nin»( lliv peace of tikii poor pe^iplc!
Welt, liw in.-ilii'*; of soni*; ini-n ii lotMiyiiij; 1 Nut
contented with doing all th<: nn.<chiel' ihcy cau
in liiRir liti*, tltey nre for eiitnilio:; tlu'ir male-
volence, bl:e tiK'ir c^lntes '(^ lntr-?t postertty,

Luc. Your coiitcui{>t of nie. hir (liHrlt:*, I re-
ceive H5 a cotupUincnt. Uut the intiiiite ubll^a-
tioiu I owe tu the man wliu had l)ic inist'urtuiM
to call ym son, cuui^icl nif tu iuai^ llur, in my
prewnce at least, no ludtenity be odbrcd U> tni
lormorv.

Buc}c. Heyday ! Whil, in heroiv-s no trine f

Luc. Un^mtufot, unfUiul wretch ! tiu Boon to
tmmplt.- on bi^ Bvlieft, tlic grt-ulc'tt load of who^e
fond heiurt, in his la^t hour, were hia fc-ar» fur
thy future welfare.

Biiclt. MaJ'oi, die e$t /olU; slie is niad, taut
dottie.

Lue. But I nm to blnme. Can he, who Itreaka
ihruugb one sacred relation, ri'pird uri'iilier' Can
the monster, who is corrupt ctiou^ih to fontcniii
ihv place of hi<i btrth, rcverciKe those who ga^e
luin being ?— liii|Mt»ib{c.

Buck. \\ a pretty monologue t n Bne soli-
loqiiy chl'S child.

Smc. Oontcuiptililc ! But I atn cool.

i)u<-/c. I am mightily gind of iU Nowwcabnit
undcr^Uind one nnothcr, I hope.

Imc. Wc do undcrstaud one anot1>er, Vou
liaTe aJaiMJy Wen kind eiiou^ to rcluK me.
Nothing is wniiciiig but u furuiul rejection

tgii

BlUTISH liKAMA.

[FoOTB.

iiiidcr ;our hnnd, and «o cnocludes our nrijuaint-
nnce.

Buck. Vaus altvz trap mte : too are tuo quick,
ma rkrre. If 1 recntlcrt, ibt; cuii»tH)ue[R'u of
Uiis rejection is oijr payiug ]ruu hveotji thouuuid
fmunds.

Imc. True.

Bvck. N'ltw Uint, have not I the leaft indina-
(ion to do.

Ijt£. No, bir ^ Wbj you own dint tnar-

Buck, Is my nvertiun. I'll give you that oo-
iJpr my hsnd. if r<>u plcaw; but I have u pru-
digioiis love tor the louis.

Luc. Oh, we'll &OOD settle that dispute; the
law —

Buck. But, hold, iro rchtr. I don't ruiil timt
my provident father has preciwly determined ihc
time of this cotnfortahle conjunctiiiii. So, though
I am c*jndemaed> itie day of execution is oot
fiml.

Lac Sir!

B^ck. I say, my wnl, Oiere eoe* no more
to your dyinf; n mnid, tlmn my living a buclic-
lor.

Luc. O. sir, t shall 6nd a remedv.

Back. But now suppiise, ma ]>tlle, I hare
found one to your hand *

Luc. A» how ? Nnine onr,

Buck, nt nnnw two. Aild finil, awn en/ante,
llioimh t have an irresistible antipathy to the
conjugal knot, ypt [ am by no nwons blind to
Ttiu'r iMTftonal '^Htanns : in the possession of
'which ii* you please to pl.ioc me, not only
tlie afiire»aid twenty ihontand pounds;, but
tiic whole terre of your devoted shall fall at
your —

Luc. Grant me patience !

Bink. Indeed you wuiit it, my dear. But if
\ii\i fluuncc, I llr.

Luc. (jiiick, »ir, your other ! For this is —

Buck. I Krniu, ihu quit*; ito fiuihionMblc as ray
other. It i) then, in a viiir*\, that you would let
' rhifl lubberly lord niiikL- you a lady, and appoint
I me hif a««iMiinif lirs pnvntc friend, his ciaubei.
And as vre are to be joint piirtnken of your per-
von. let us be equal sliarcri in your fortune, ma
heitt.

Imc. Thou meiin. abject, merrpnarr thine I
'Hiy UMMri^sji ! CiraciouB llcawn !— (.'iiivemal
tfiiipire should not brihi" me to be thy bride. —
Ami whtil upolouy, what excustr, could a wroinan
of ihc le.itt Kcnsc or tpit'it make for so untuitunJ
a coiiiiet liiiii !

Wuck. Fort /<«■«! /

Ltic, WItere arc ;hy attractions? CanM tliou
. be nc.tk ciiout;h to iuppos>e thy frippery drew,
kthy DflVir^iion, thy |:iiiiiace, could innucoce be-
yuii'.l the btit\ier» of a briJtlx:! ?

Buck. Trii fcKM .'

Luc. Aud what af« thy UDprovetuentb? Tfa/

air is n copy from thy barber ; for thy dreas thoo
nrt iudrbltMJ to tliy tailor. Thou Kast la«t thy
imiivc InJi^ua^^e, and brought bume atmo in *t-
chani^ for it.

Buck. ETtrfminttnt hien !

Jmc. lliid not thy vNnity so yoon cxpoacd thy
villaoy, I niiitht, lu reverence to that name,
to which ihnu art a disgrace, have takra «
wretched clutncc with thee for life.

Buck. I am obliged to thee Tin- that; and a
pretty pacific partner I should have bad. Why,
look'e, child, you have been, to bo sure, very el^
(juent, and. u|M3n the whole, oot unentertmiiuBg :
though, by the by, you ha\e format in your a '
loguc oac of my forei^ acquisitions ; c'ewt a t
that I can, with a most intrepid imngjroid, \
out a single emotion, •nipport all this storm of fc-
uinlo fury. Kut, utiitu, na hcHe ; and whea a
i-iM)! hour of rcflecimn has made you 9CD6ible of
tlie propriety of my propoeals, 1 soall cxpeccihe
hoiKMir of* a turd.

[Ent.

Luc. I am ashamed this tlunp; has Km the
power to m0*'c me thus. WIk> waits Uwrc'
Desire Mr Crab

£rtfrrLont) .Toun andCKAt.

Lord Jokn. We bare been ui>wiltin|;ly, tna-
d^m, silent witnesses to this shameful t^ime. 1
blu«b, thiit a creature, who wears the outward
murks of humanity, aliould be ID his morals so
much below

CVa^. Phihce, why didst thou not otU thy
mnid<i, and to» the booby in a blanket ?

iiord John. If 1 niMf,\A be permitted, niadaDS.
to conclude wlint I intended saying wbm intc^
ruptcd hy Mr Crab

Smc. Mv lord, don't think mc gailty of aftc-
tfttiuu ; I believe I ^uess at your Bcncrotn dr*
s\p,\ : hut my temper is renllv so ruffled — besides
I am meditating u piece ui Temale revenge «o
tliis coicomb.

Lord John. Dear madam, can [ aisiai }

Luc. Only by desiring my luaid labrioKb^
ther the tea. My lord, I am confoanded at Utf
hU'rtv, hui

Jtord John. No apology Yon hodoor aie,

mndam. I^'-

Cruh. And, prithee, wench, what IS tky
sclieme f

Lut. Oh, a very harmless one, I praausc yoo.

Crah. Zounds, I mn sorrr for it I long to
!iCe tlie puppy severely puniitied. mcihmka.

Luc, Sir Charles, 1 fancy, can't be yet gotovl
of the house. Will you deiorc bitu to step lii'
Uier?

i^rab. Ill brin^ him.

JLuc. No, I ui&ti to have him alonr.

Craft. Why, then, 111 scad htm.

I&i(.

I'OOTB.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

Euttr LxTTicc

Lmv, Place Uicw tbiu^^s on Uic uUe, a chair

OD cscfa wfe rtTV well. Du yuu keep within

caJI. Out hark, he ii here. l.«ave mc, Lettice.

(Erif.

iJnf^r Bvcx.

fiyrA. So, fto, I thou|;ht she would, come to ;
but, I confess, not aitocetbcr to soon. £A bien,
MM hetitt 9oe me rcadjr to receive your com-
Aiaoda*

Lite~ Prav, be seateJ, ur CbatlcK. I am a-
Iraid the uotural warmili of niy temper m^;ht
fcare hurritMi iiic into some expression:^ not ulto-
gcttier au suitable.

Buck. Ah, bagateiU. Name it oot.

Lmc, Will vuu ilriiik tea. sir?

hotk. Volontiert. 'litis tea is a pictty inno-
cent kind of bcvemse; X wonder the French
Ajo'c take it. I have swme thoughts of giving it
^MbioH next winter.
BH^ lliat vnXi be very obli^in^. It is of ex-
W^^t serrice to tlie tudies Uiis side of the wa-
itr, you kn<iw.

Btck. True, it pronrotes partic*, and infuses a
feiod of spirit into cantcrsotion. But what has
Vccasiooeu me, ma rcinr, the honour of yuur
|»rasa^ by Mr Crab P

idic. Tl»e favour* I have received from your
Ruiily, sir Charles, 1 thought dcntnndcd t'ruin
pM, at luy quituiig yi'ur houic, » more dcccitl
Mid lerciiwinious adivu thaa our toM ialcrvlcw
Viuuld ndniit iif.

bufk. ]■ tluL all, ma ekere 9 I thought your
|it>ty Wart lud at la&t relented. WtU, ma retHe^
iJicti!

JUc. Can you. thcu. leave me }

Buck, Tbe faicii will hnve it so.

Xjut. Uo tb<-n, (lerlidiouH traitor, be |^ne! 1
tavc this cun»)lul)on, Iwvrevcr, tliat li i can-
Kieigally powe» you. no other woman shall.

Jtnek. lley^ liun-, nliat !

Imc. And though the plcnwrc of littJig with
too It denied ine. inour dcatha^ at Iciust, v\e Uiril!
iBua be uuiieil.

^ck. Sun be united lu death ! When, cliild .'

Lwr. Within thi% hour

BmcJi, WhiHi war ^

Lau. The fatd dn\ught*» already at my lie art.

feel ii Iktv ; it nin* ihniojjh every jxiri;,

panjtsi, iimiiier.dile I The tea uc dratik^
iTjed by de^pnlr and love— Oh I

Buck: Wf !t !

Imc. I p(nwt»ed—

Buck, lliederil!

Xjh*. And n« inv e,ei»eroiia heart would have
ItBKil all wiili yi>u, 1 gave you half.

Buck. IMt, curse your generosity !

Imc. IraJulgt tur in tlic cold comfurt of a last

kbracr.

hvtk. Embrace! O, coufotuul you! Out it
may nut be too lolc. Macrutbcn, Jnnquil, ph?-
sii-ians apothecaries oil, and antidotes. — — Oii,
Je mcun, je meurt .' Ah, la Jiiii/i;iw /

[Rtii Buck.

Enter Lord Jobk and Crai.

CraS. A brarc wench ! I could kiss tbee for
this conirivRncc.

Lord Jifkn. He really deserves it all.

Crab. Deserves it! Ilang him. But the sen-
sible rcsenlinent of thi» girl bas alnxut rcconci-
led in« to tlkc world again. But stay, let ns see—
Can't we make a farther use of the pujipy's plH
niahment i I suppoM- we may very safely depend
iin your cuntonipt of hiin f

Imc. Most securely.

Crab, And this yuun^ tlitnf^ here hns heen
breatlilng pauiiuns and protest ntion«. But 111
take care my girl shan't go a hefci;;ar to any man's
bed. VVe i^uitt have this twenty tiiouMiad
pouud, Ijucy.

Lcrd Jvkn. I regard it noL Let roe be hap>
py^ and let him be

CraA, Pshaw, don't »corch me with tiiy Aomca.
Rcscn'C your raptures; or, if they rou«t have
vent, retire into tliat room, whtUt I go plagae the
puppy.

[Exit CiAa 0»e oMiy, Lvcr anj Loan
Joux axolAcr.

SCENE n.—Changnatid discowrt Btci, Mac-

RVTHCN, JoNtJtitL, BliAltNUIS, l.t tztlKC,

Phytician amd Surgeon, BucK in a nigkt-cap
and goKM.

Sur. Thii copious phlebotomy will abate the
inflammation; and if the iix hUitcni on yuur
head and bnik riw, why there may be hopes.

Htick. Cold comfort. I hnrn, l' burn, 1 bum [
\U, there is a shoot ! And nuw again, I freeze !

Mac. Ay, They arc aw symptoms of a sttvo^

p4>l)iOn.

Jivck. Oh, I am on the rack \

Mat: <^Hi, if it be i^nt lu Uic vitals, a 6g for

nw auutlutcs.

Enfer Cras.

Crah. Where is tliis miserable devil? Whatsis
lie alive still !

Mac. In gude troth, and that's aw.

Buck. l)h !

Crab. So. you have made a pretty piec« of
work nt/t, young mnn !

buck. (), wluit could provoke me to return
from I'aris !

Crab. Had you never been there, tliis could
not have happened.

198

BRITISH DRAMA.

[.FOOTE,

Enter Raciet and Tallthoc

ItMk. Where is he? Hc^» m demd man; his
cres are 6xed alreadj.

Buck. Oh!

Toil Who poiaoDed him. Racket ?

Rack. Gad I itm't know. His French cook,
I rrckrai.

Crab. Were there a possibility of thy refwnut-
tioD, I have jet a secret to restive thee.

Butk. Oh, gire it, give it !

Croi. Not so fast. It mast fae on good con-
dibODS.

Buck. Kame tfaem. Take my' estate, my —
save but mr life, take all.

Crab. Fmr, theu, renounce thy r^t to that
lady, whose just resentment has drawn this pu-
nishment upon thee, and in which she is an un-
happy partaker.

Buck. 1 renounce her from my soul.

Cra5. To this declaration you are witnesses.
Neit, your tawdry trappii^ your foreign foppe-
rr, your washes, paints, pomades, must blaze be-
Kffc your door.

Buck. What, all?

Crab. All ; not a mg shall be reserved. The
execution of this part of your sentence shdl be
asngned to your old fiienos here.

Buck. Well, take them.

Crab. And, lastly, III have these exotic at-
tendants, these instruments of your luxury, these
pandars to your pride, padced in the 6rst cart,
and scot post to the place from whence they
came.

Buck, Spare me but La Jonquil !

Crab. Not an instant The importatimi of
these puppies makes a part of the politics of
jour old incnds the Frencri ; unable to resist jou,
whilst you retain your ancient roughness, they
have recourse to these minions, who would first,
by unmanly means, sap and soften all your na-
uve spirit, and then deliver you an easy prey to
their employers.

Buck. Since, then, it must be so, adieu, ha Jon-
quil ! ! ! [Exeunt Serrants.

Crab. And now to the remedy. Cwue forth,
Iiuciuda.

Enter LuciKDA and Loid Jobv.

Buck. Hey, whj did not die swallow the poi-
wm?

Crab. No ; mh- joa ndther, yoa blockhead.

Suck. Whj, did not I leave yon in pangs ?

Luc Ay, put ML The tea was innocent, up-
on my honour, sir Charles. But yoa allow me
to be an extxUeot actrice.

Buck. (Ml, curse your talents !

Cndf. This fellow's poUic renonciatioo bat
pat your person and fortune in your power ; and
if you were uncere in your declaration of being
directed by me, bestow it there.

ikf . As a proof of my nnceri^, my I<Md, re-
crive it.

Lord John. With more transpmt than sir
Charles the news of his safety !

Luc. [To Buck.] You are not at present in a
condition to take posaesson of your post.

BBCJk. What? ,

Luc. Oh, you recollect! my lonTs private
friend ; his assistant, you know.

Buck. Oh, oh !

Mac. But, sir Charles, as I find the aflair nf
the poison was but a joke, had na* ye better widi-
draw, and tnk otfyour blisters?

Crab. No, let them stick. He wants them.—
And now concludes my care. But, before we
close the scene, receive, young man, this last ad*
vice from the old friend of your father : As it is
your happiness to be boru a Britun, let it be
your boast; know, that the blessings of liberty
are your birth-right, which, while you preserve,
other nations may envy or fear, but never con-

?|uer or contemn you. Believe, that French
ashions are as ill suited to the genius, as their
politics are pernicious to the peace, of jour na-
tive land.

A convert to these sacred truths, yt>u11 find
That poison, for your punishment' deigned.
Will prove a wholesome medicine to yoor
miud.

[JSxnrnf omn.

THE

AUTHOR.

■r

FOOrjE.

DRAMATIS PEnSON^

MEfJ.

GovExsoK Cape.

YocKc C*rE, Aif Hwi (the Author) attathed ta

Sr-».tGBXLrt /nend to Yocno C'aph,
('Al)WAtL.4DCii, nntccfnlric Wtteknton.
V»iiP, a tcokteller.
RoBi<t, Ki-nrnf lo You^o Cape.

Poet.
Pritttcr't Devi/,

WOMEN.

Mbs CAOwALLAoen.

Arabella, lufcr fo Cadwaliader.

Sctn^-Lmdoiu

ACT I.

SCENE I.

GovtANOH Cape and llOBiir.

Gup. Aku l*e believes mc dead, Robing

Mai. Mwt rnrtjiinly.

Cm. You iMve given him do iDtJinatioD thm
Ui fonunes loieltt merHl *

tM. Noc K disuut hint.

(mv. How did lie ^t^celvo llic news?

X«k Calmly en<iu(:h .- niK-it I told liiin thnt
•■•hopc^ (ram alrrnttrl ncrf; at un i:nd, that t)ic
foDni o( hi» dccL-dM.-d fattier limuglit be bml
*anr «iiou(;h in putting it in hi» pawtT lo earn
M own livutihood, he replied, 'twiu no murr
^ be h^d IiMiK upcrttrd, cluu^cd ine nitli lus
*viiie9t ■ckonwledgTOX'iita to h;» cunniuled Ut--
II^KUr, Unmked toe for uiv ciiru, sighed, nnd
■ft mc

Gar. Aod how hu be lived tince i

Hak. Puorlj, but honAMl/ : to his pen he ovr«s

all his subustence. I am sure hit heart bleeds
for hill) : connidor, sir, to what tcinpiiitiuns jou
expose him.

Gov. The icvcrcr his criaK *lie greater his ti>
titnfih. Sball the t'ruits of my hunest industry,
the purcliasc o( an nituiy pohlis be lari»hed on a
\ary, luxurious buoby, wno hns nn other merit
thai) (M'in;; Lorn live-and-twcnty vears alU-r rite f
Nu, un, Robii); him, Hnd a prufusiun of debts,
t«<-rc atl diut (he estmvagancc of hia uiuther left
iiir.

Roit. Vuu I<jved her, sir?

Got. Fondly, way foolii^tily, or necesNty had
not (Ximpeilc'd me to oeek Tor idinlter m muither
cHuiaie. '^I'ife tm^, turtuitc has btL-n fnvuumblc
to my I'lbours; ^ad v.beu Gwir^e u-mnnoM me;
itmt hu inherits tiiy sptril, lie fJull share my pro-
perty; not ct»e.

Rob. Cou&idcr, sir, he bas Dot jruur opporiuui'
ties.

£00

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FOOTE.

Gov. Nor bad I liis education.

Rob. As the world >;ocs, tlie wont you could
liave given him. Lnck-a-day ! Lenrninp, learn-
ing Mr, is no cwiumoditv for this innrfcct ; no-
thing mokes luoiKry here. 5ir, hut money; or some
certain fashionable qunli(ie» that you would not
with your sou lo poueu.

Oov. Learning um-Icm ! Finpouihlc ! Where
an^ the Oxfords, cht; Halifiues, thi? great protec-
tors uiid potruns of the litit'nil arts?

RcA. ration! The world has lost its uw; a
guinca-Mibscriptioti at the re<)ue$t of n lady,
whose cbainbermnld t*i acquainted with the au-
thor, may be notv and ibcn picked up^Protec-
Tor ! Why, I dure bvlitve ther<-'» more money
laid nut upon [shn|;it)n turnpike, in a month, than
upou all tiK* learned men in Great Britaia in
•even yeans.

Oav. And yet the prew proans with their pro-
ductions ! How do they all exi»t ?

Rob. In '^rTCia, iir i as, if you vfill step to
your 8uii'» apartment, in iltc next street, you will
sec.

Gov. But what apulu^ shall we make for ttie
vinit?

Hitb. That vou want the aid of his profession ;
a we ll-pennecf address, now, from the fiubjcrls of
your late K.ivrriiincni, with your gracious reply,
tu put into the newspu|K'rk.

Gov. Ay ! it that part of hif practice ? Well,
lead on, Tlobin. [Ejeeunt.

SCENE n. — Draet, and diitavm Yovva
Capl a!i/A the PaisiEh'i Devil.

Cape. Prithee, go about thy business — ranisb,
dear devil.

DeviL Master hid me not come witliont ilic
proof; he says ns how there arc two other an-
swers ready for the preM ; and i f youn don't
come out a Saturday. *t«vunt pay for the paper.
But ynu are aJwnvs so lazy; I have more plague

with you ilierr's Mr(i»7/le, ilie imn^ator,

nerer kiH^p^ mc a minute — unless the pour gen-
tleman Imiiiien^ ttt be fuddled.

Cmpt. \Vliy. you little, siwity, snivelling, diabo-
lical puppy, is it not suthcient to be plflf;ued with
the Mupidity of your absurd master, but 1 tuu>t
be pestered with your imperii in- iii-e 1

Drr'tf. Impertinence ! Marry c^xne up, 1 keep
as good company as your woiship every day in
the ycar-^— tliere's Mr Clench, in Little Britain,
doe* not think it beneath him to taki; part of a
pot of porlcn- nitii me, though lie lins wrote two
volumes of Uves in quarto, and luis a folio a-co-
tiuii|c out in nmnber^,

Capt. llnrk'c, sirrah, if you don't quit the
room this instant, 1*11 show you a shorter wny in-
tu tiie direct, than the stntr«.

DcTit. 1 simll save yu« the trouble; giitr me
the French book that you took dke story from
fur the last ,(atimal.

Cap€. Take it

[TAnw-( >/ at kim.

Drvii. What, d'ye think it belongs lo the cir-
culatlng library, or that it is one of your t»wn per-
formances tliat you

Cape. You shall have a larger — [E>il Dtvil]
— ^*8dcath! a pretty situation I am m ! And arc
these the fruits I am tu reap from ■ Ivng* tabon-
ou», and cipensive

Re-enter DenL
Drvit. I bad like to have forpot : hereV
ueeV's pay fur the newspaper, five and fivi
wir.cli, with the two-and-A-pcnny master ^
liis word for to Mrs Snd«, your washerwonuui,
makci the three hnlf-crouns.
Cnpt. Lay it on the table.
Drvii. llrre'fe a man on the ttairs waols
hy tite bheepisbncbs of liis looks^ luid tlic

new of his dress, he's either a fuck-pocket

poet — Here, walk in, Mr Whnt-d*ye<all-uia, thr
gettUeinan's ai home.

ISurveyt thcfigurt, tcughi^ andtsiL

E»t€r Poet.

Poet. Your name, I presume, is Cape/

Cape. Yiiu Itnve hit It, ftir.

Port. Sir, I beg pardon; you arc a geutlenu
tliiit wrilrs?

Cape. Sometimes.

J'nel. Why, sir, my case, in a worH, ia llasr I.
like you, hitvc long been a retainer of ihe Hases,
Mn V'Hi may see hy their livery.

I'npr. 'Ilxiy liave iiot discarded tou, I hope?

Faet. No, sir; but their upper Mrrrant\ ifce
bnokucllcrs, have — I printed a collection of jco
uiN>u my owu account, and tlwr hare ever liau
refused tu employ me ; you, air, I l»ear, are in
ihnr ii^raci-s : now 1 liavc bruugbt you, fir, thnc
imiluliom* of Juvenal in prou'; I'nllv's anum
for IVIilu, in blank verse; two esaavs ao the Bn-
tisb liiTriun-fishery, with a large cnllectioa oTit-
bu<ics; which, ii' you will disniue of to tliem,ii
your own nnmr, «c'U divide uie profits

Cuf^e. I am really, sir, sorry for your disMM;
but I have a larmier cargo of my owo mamb^
turinf!, than tbey cJioose to engage in.

/'."/. That's pity ; you have nothing in A»
caii'piling or index way. Uiat you woiM edCiwt
to lie care of nnotlKT ?

Cape. Nolliiiig.

Poet, ni do it at half price.

C^if. I'm concerned it is noc in my powfr* tf
present, tu be oseftil to you ; but if tliii ir^fe^

Poel. Sir. yuor servant Shall 1 1cm jua
any of my-

Cape. By no mcHns.

Poet. An e^say or an ode^

Cttpe. Not a line.

Poet. Your very obcdieoK—

[EntPott.

BRITISH DRAMA,

m

I

Cape. Poor fellow ! Aad bow for »m I remi^
red tnxn hif conditiun ? Vin;it liad tiis Pulliu;
Hunicc tu5 Msceiias; MarUul tus riiiiy. My
proCccion are. Title-page ihe publisher, Vamp
the -bookseller, and liidcx chc pnuler. A mo&c
uobte triumvirate I mxl tht* ratciUh arc as [m^
scripture aud arbitrary u die faoiuus IComan uiu-,
intu ttte bargain.

Enter SpRlcitTtT.

fyrigkt. What! in sfllil(X|ujr, Geurec ^ rcatlnt;
some of tbc pleftiantrics, 1 suppose, iii yoar mw
piece?

Cape. My (litipoftitioo has ai present very little
of the VIS comita.

fright. What's the loaltcr ?

Ci^. Sun'ev that mait^ n( ivealtb upon the ta-
ble; all my onn, and earned in little more tJum
a week.

SprtgH. Wby, 'tis an iacxKnuwblc miiM; !

Go^e. Ay; and delivcrcit (o mc, too, njib aU
the soft civility cf BiUtn^^t^atc, by u printer's
prime minUtcr, culled a devil.

Sprigit. I met the imp upon the stairs. But
J 'Vm^I tbete midwivcs to the muaca were tlie
idoGaen of you, tlicir favourite eoo».

Capt, Oariyraiits,Tom! Had I iitdrcil a p»^t-
koinoof piece of inCrlelily, ur an niiiumiis nnvd,
dcconued with hisciouit cupper-plates, (be »laves
mnild be dvll ctiou^li.

Spr^hL Why dun't yoa publish your own

Capt. What! And paper my room with them ?
No, DO, that will oeror do ; there aic sccrtis iii
all tcadcs: aura is ODC grtat mystery; but the
cipbiiM(ioa MTOutd he too rcdiuu; at present.

S^rigltt. Then why dun't you divert yuur at-
tention to »ome oilier object }

Capf. That fttihirrt wa»ciitployin^iny thtiughts.

SprigAt, Ho* have yuu rcmilved?

Cap<- 1 have, 1 think, af pre^nt, hfo ftCriivirit
to my bow ; ii" my comedy succeetis, it buys mc
a coainuwtuii ; if my minlrtriifl, inv Ijinni, pnnn
kind, I am wcilcd tur life; but il Ltitli tiiy cords
mp adirn Ut ttic qudt, aiid wvlcuine itie mu6-

kcc

Sfrigkt. Heroically dcicnnincd • But. a-;jro-
pot, how proceeds your hoiiyunible [latisKm t

Cspf. nut tluwly; I lielievf- I have a l>icn<l in
btr bvarr, but a most potent enemy tii her lieiiH
jva know I am poor, and she is pr>idtnt. Wim
TCgard to her fiirtune, t'*o, I believe her brothers

nnaefit a esamtially nere&sary But you pro-

■wed to nako mo acf)«iuiribe<l vtith iiiin.

Sprigkt. t expect hitii here every inatani. lie
ttav, (icoree, be useful to you in more than ntie
CifncUy : if your cnmctly is nut irowdt-Nl, he is a
chuictcr. I can tell yuu, that will ataLe no con-
ic ligure ill it.
Ui» sister gave me a sketch of htm last

Upright. A sketch can never oooTcy him. llt»
peruiiarities require iolioite laU>ur, ood high 6-
iii!)liiii;;.

Cfipr. Give mc tlie ootliacs.
Siifigftt. U(> 14 a compound of contrarielicfl;
priiic and meaiuieirs l^Hy and i*rchnf->s : at tlie
sutnc time that he would tiike tbc maII nf a
pniirc of ihi' blvwl, he Mould ixit scruple eaiing
a rriiMt iinoMi^c at iJw Mi'wk-tinic. There i> ft
iiiinuti'ucu, nuw aud llii-ti, iit lii^ dcKiiptiuna,
and MNue uhim^id. uiinccount^ible turns in hi*
c'jiirentutjoai, tliat iire cuterDiiuuig ritouKh ; buc
the eKimrnsance uiid oddity of hi:* manner, and
till- lKia»t of his birth, coiiipJ;'te his character.

Cape. Hot hiiu will a pers4>n of his pride and
peih'jroc, rcli»h the huuu*ity of this apartment P

Spn/fht- f>h, lie's prefored — ynu are, Gcotlfc^
thoiii;li pmdi|;iously Icanied aud iii;^iii<)u&, an
ab'ttmctrd licing, odd and whimsical ; the rase
<vith afl ymir great geniuses: you love ttie snug,
the chiimiey<corner of life ; anil retire to this nb-
^u-iirc nook, merely to avoid tJte iuipottuuity uf
the urent.

Ca^c. Vour servant But what atlradim

otu a cliaractcr of this kind have fur iSlr Lad-
tvalliuler?

Sprighl. Infinite! DCit to a peer, be bommn
n port ; and modestly impute^ his not making a
I'lKurc ill tlic Icnnich world himself, to the ne-
^tett uf his ednration — liush I lie's on llie &Cairf
— Oil with )our cap, and open your book. Re-
member great dignity and abwnce.

Enter Vauf.

Cape. Oh, no; *tit Mr \'amp. Vour oom-
mnitd*, ^ood sir?

S'limp. I liave a word, Mr Cape, for ynur pri-
ratc eiir.

Cape. You may cotanuinicate ; this GifloUonian
is IL fneiKl.

I'amp. An author?

Ctipe. A'otumio<»as.

t'tu/ip. In wliiit way i

Cape, Uiiiveraal.

l'«Mp. DIessme! he's very youne. and excced-
intily well rigi^ed; what, aguod jiubKcnpiiou, 1
reckon?

C^ie. Not a montli from Lryilen ; an admira-
ble thcoloeist ! lie -tudied it in Genuuiiy ; if you
thniild want ^ucti a ttiini:, now, ni ten or n dozen
•iiatiuiwTipt MiritiiHi^ by n dt*ceascd clergyman, I
liclieve he can <Mip(>lv v»u.

Vamp. Warranted origiiiaU?

Vaf.e. No.

Vtimp. N't, no; I don't deal in the srrmon-
««ay, now ; I lt>»t money by tlic liiit I printed, for
fill 'twAs wr'itc by a iiiettKKli»l : but ] IxdieTe, <iir,
if ibcy ben'i lonii, and have a f;aod deal of Xatiit
in them. I can get you a chap.

Sprlfcht. For » hit, -Jr ?

Vnifi: the iiittiMi^cripi scnaons you hart
wrote, aad want to di-ij"!-^ of,
lie

'

S02

BRITISH DRAMA,

[FOOTE.

&ngkt. Sermons daC I bare viroce !

Vamp. Aj, ■; ; Bdr Cape has beca trllii^

ne-

Sprigkt. He has? I am miglmlj obliged to
luiu-

Fimp. NaT, nay ; don't be afraid ; lit keep
oooufiri ; old Vamp had ftot kept a shop so Im^
at the Tumsdlet if he did ofM know how to be
Krret. Whv, in the jear fifteen, when 1 «as in
the treaaonadle wav, I never squeaked ; I never
gate Qp but ooe author in mv lite, and be wah
Aj\a^ of a oonsumpcioa ; so it never came to a
CnaL

&rright. Indeed!

ramp. Never; Ifx>k here — [SAoa-s the side ^
kit hfad.'j — cropped dose ! bore as m board ' aiio
for noCbii^ in the world but an innocent book ol'
bawdv, as I hope fur mere; : oh ! the laws are
Terr hard, very severe npon ua.

upright. Yen have given me, sir, so positive a
proof of joor secrecT, that jon n»j relv upon
mj conimunication.

Vamp. Vou will be safe — but, gadso ! we must
mind huMness, though. Here, Mr Cape, vou
must proiide me with thne takii^; titles for
tbcsf pamphlets; and if vou can think of a pat

Latin motto for tht larj>FS>t

Cape. Ther shall be dune.
Vamp, Do so, do so. iiot^s are like wonicn,
Mr Cape ; to strike, ther must he weil-dressed :
fine feathers make fine binb ; a f>ood paper, au
cteiiant tvpe, a handsome motto, and a tutchinc
title, has druic man; a dull treatise tltniugi>
three editions — Did ;ou know Harry Hand^ }
Sprigbt. Not that 1 rcculltct.'
ramp. He was a pretiy fellow; he had hi^
Latin ad angurm^ as ihev s»_v; he would ha\c
turned you a t'abie of Dryden's, or an epistle
of Pope's, into Latin verse in a twinkling: ex-
cept rcter Hasty the vnyage-writer, he was as
fp«at a loss to the trade as any within my me-
mory.

Cnpf. What carried him off?
Vamp. A halter — hanged for dip{Mi^ and
coining, Mr Cape. I thought there was some-
thing tlie matter by his not coming to our shop
for 8 month or two: lie was a pretty fpJIow !
Sprigkt Were you a great l(»ser by lijs death ?
Vamp. I can't say — as he had taken to another
course of living, his eiccution made a noise; it
•old me seven hundred of his translations, be-
sides his last dying speech and confession ; 1 got
it : he was mindful of bis friends in his last mo-
ments : he was a prcllv fellow !

Cape. You have no farther commands, Mr
Vamp?

Vamp. Not at present ; about the sprir^ I'll
de:il with you, if we can agree, for a couple of
volumes in fxrtavo.

^trifiht. Upon what subject ?

fomp. I leave tliai to him ; Mr Cape knows

what will do^ tbougib Dords are a pre^ ^^^
summerTfcndii^ and do reij wdl at Timlinc^t
Bristol, and the Other waieni^ frfaces : no md
comoHiditT for the West India trade neidicr;
let them be novels, Mr Cape.

G^MT. Yon shall be certainly supplied.
Vamp. I doubt not ; pray, bow does Index gQ
on «itfa your Journal ?

Cape. He does not complain.
Vamp. Ah, 1 knew the time — bat yon have
ovcrbtocked ibc markcL Tittepagr aiud I bad
once like to have ra^affi in a paper. We
bad got a youi^ Cantab tor the esnys ; a {Kcttf
historian tnMu Aberdeen; and an attunieys
clerk for the tnie in^l%ence: but, I doo't
know how, it dropped lor want of a pofiticiaB.
Cape. U \a tliat cnpadty I can be of any —
Vump. No, thank you, Mr Cape: in half t
year's time, 1 have a grandson of mj own that
will come iu; he is now in training asaaaiior
at the Cocoa-tree coffee-boose ; I intend giviif
him the run of Jonathan's for three months, to
understand trade and the funds; and tbeo 111
start biin — No, no; you have enot^h oo yoor
hands ; stick to your business ; and, d*ye hear,
'ware chppiitg and coining; remember Bany
Handy : he was a pretty fellow ! [Ksit Viar.
Sprigkt. And I'm sure thou art a most extra-
ord ma ry fellow ! But prithee, Gconie, what cookl
provoke thee to make me a writer of sermofis?

Cape. You seemed desirous of bdog acmiaiiit-
ed with iiiir business, and I knew old Vainp
would let Yuu more into the secret in fire nu-
nute-i, than I could iu as many hours.

[A'aorAia^ keloKy kml
Sprigkt. Cape, to your post; here tbeyire,
lYaith, u couchful ! Let's see, Mr and BlisCtd-
walladcr, and vuiir flame, the sister, as I tire !

Cad. [Wiliiout.] Pray, by the by, ban'tyoai
poet above ?

[Without.'] Hieber up.
Cad. [IVUhoui.] Kgad, I wonder what wfii»
your poets have such an aversion to middle flood
— Uiey are always to be found in extremities; in
garrets, or cellars —

Etttcr Ma and Mrs Cadwaluder, «ad Au*

SltLLA.

Cad. Ah, Sprightly !

S^right. Husli !

tad. Hey, what's the matter?

Spright. Htird at it; untwisting somekoot^
point; totally absorbed !

Cad. GadM ! what ! that's he ! Beck, Brl^
there he is, egad, as grent a poet, and as ii^
uious a— H-hat's lie nbout ? — Hebrew ?

Spright. Weaviiii:; the whole ^lilneid intoatn-
ge<ly ; 1 have been here this half hour, bot lit
hiisnot mnrked me yet.

Cad. Could not I take a peep?

I

i$ht. An enrthqaakc would not rouse him.
'ad, tir tccni5 in n dninnrd passion.
Cmpe, The bc-ll uf Pultas, nnr prnTCrf, nor
toan, DOT Nipplicniinj; euds. shul\ (Mix- thcc now,
Cad, llry ! rnuiida ! whiil Uic devil ! wlm?
Cape. PulUtt i tt Aw vuintrr^ J'allas imimo-
/a/. c/ pitHtim tctkrato rx languhic iumit .'

Cad. Damn vuur palace ! I wtbh I was well
oul uf yoiirpirrct !

t'ujte. Sir, I he^ leu thmisfind pardftM: Ifldies,
vour nioit devoted. You will eicnw nic, sir;
but, being jiui im die aiiui4trij|ili(; {if my tngedy*
I Mm afraid the poette t'urur may lint e betrayed
inc iuto «omr ludccency.

Sttricht. Oil, Mr CiuKnlladcr it* too t>rrat a
genius liim^eir, not to allow tor tlieH: micii!|)er-
atc sallies of a Itemed iiiinuinauon.

(lad!. Geiiiu% I Luok yuu bcre ! Air WlrntV
your-nnmc?
Cape, Cape.

C«(/. Cti^e ] trne ; thnuch by Ute by here,
bey ! you live dt'vtiiih liij^li ; but iierhnps you
may chuve thnl for cicrci-'t.-, hi-y! S(>nKti Uy !
Ceiiiuii ! I^>ukV lirn\ Mr Ciipc, I Imd U5 pretty
natural parts, lu fitic talents ! — but, bctweeu you
aod Ii I tind as damned fo<d of » ^unnlian, an
loratit. illiterate, ecod— he could lu »oou pay
natioDdl debt n» write liis ott n niiiTie, uikI so
rcsnlvcd to mat^e hi-^ wiinl oo wixer than
If, I iJiii.lL
Sftri^kl. I> lie, ^IrCad^valltlder, you don't do
jroar9cirju5tiec.

Cupr, Indcetj, sir, we must contradict you, we
can't aulTer thi^ defamnliou. I Iiuve uiure than
once besnl Mr C'lidwallactcr'* literary acquisi-
tion* loudly fnllicd uf.

CatL Have \nu ? — no, no, it cannot he, liey !
thooi^h, let nir tell you, Inst »%iiiter, before I had
the iQcn^lFK, I cuuld bavc ui-tde usgood ii speech,
DfKMi any aulijcct, in Italinil, Frfm-li, Cfrniati —
but t am all uiiliuigi-d ' — »ll — <Hi, L"id, M(
Cape, ibis i» IteeLy; oiy dear Declty, child, till^
U a fiTvai (Mtei — idi. but ^be cI-h-^ tint knciw whnt
that 14 — u liltle fiHilt^ or so, but ufa very gtnid
tamiU — Iterr, IhiLy, cbihl, won't you ask Mr
Cam to COiiic and 4ce ynu?

ifrt Cad. \» Dicky siiys, I ftlinll be gtad to
9ce TUti at our liouw, sir.

(*9pf. I hnvo too great a retard fur my ovun
bapmne*!*!. miidnm, to tu)» to certain an uppoi-
lunitv of cfeniinc iL
MrB Caii. llcv! what?

Cape. My inciiiinlitios. a4 well as mv duty. I
will C(tui)'cl Mie to iibcy your kind iiij<jitc-

JWn CaJ. Wbit does Iw wy, our Bril ?

Ara, Ot^ liuit Im: euu bavc no greater plea-
grr tfian *vaitiȣ tin yuii.

Mr* Ctid I'm *urc ibiti's more bin coodnrss
tdbu my dr'^-rt; but wlieii you hen't better en-
I ^a^cAf HC aluiuld be glad of your company of an

BRITISH DRAMA.

crening, to make one with our Didty, tisler BeU*
aod I, at whisk and swabbers.

Cml. ilcy. ccoti, do, Cape, o me md look ai
hrr |j,ruttu and slicll^ and we what Hie bas got~—
VWII, he'll come, Beck — ecod, do, and she'll come
to tlic lliirfl nii;lit uf ycitir lriii;vdy, hey ! won't
vuii, Ueck i Isn't shea linesirl? liey, you: humour
tier a littlp, do — ITey, Reck ! be say> ynii arc a*
line D wonmii as ever lie — ecud, wlio knows but
he may iimke a ropy of verse-* on you f — There,
go and liBve a little diat uith her, talk any non-
u>u»e to tier, no mntier wlmi ; bhe's a damned
fool, niKi wnn'l know the dillcrenif! — llicrc, ftOk^^^H
Ikck— Well, Spnitlitly. liey! whiil ! are you aiia'^^|
Uell like to come r-igctbrr? Oh, ecod, llity icU ^^%
iae, Mr Sprif<litly, tbat you ha«e frequently lords,
and viaouunts, ai>d enrU, Umt take a dinner with
you ; now I altould luok upon it as a very par-
ticuliir favour, if yuu would invite me at the samo
lime, hey ! will you ?

Soright. You may dc^nd on it.
Cad. V\'ill you? Gan, tliat'» kind: for be-
tween you and ], MrSpri'^htly, I itm of at ni>-
cieiit a fiuiiily o» llic best uf tJiem; and peopls
uf fa>liioii sbould know one another, you know.
Sprigkt. By utl manmr uf luvans.
Ca*t. Hey! should not they su^ When von
hnic any lord ur bnn^i, nuy, cfiad, if it be biit a
baronet ur » nienibcr of pitrliRroeiit, I should
tuLr it .-It n favour.

Sriri^ht. V(i[i will do diem bonfHir; they muiC
dl (lavc heard of Ute aotiquitv of your house.

Cad. Antiquity ! hey ! Beck, wbere's my per
di^rec ?

Mrt Cad. Why, at home, locked up ia the
butler's pjintry.

Cad. In Ihc pnntry ! What the devil ! how
often have I bid you never come out wiihout it f
Mrx Cad. LtTtl ! what si;;nilic9 carrying such
a liunbcriiij; ihiac about?

Cud. SiiiuifiesI you area fool. Deck. Why,
■suppose we should liavr any diKputcM when we
are abroad ubi'ut precedence, now the rlovil
•■liall wc lie able to settle it ? But yuu atiall see
It nl lionte. U!i Uccky, coiul- hitlier; ne will

refer our diiipute to [Thry ^o apart.

Aru. Well, «r. your friend has urevuilcil, and
rou are ncquniuted with my brotiier; but wliai
UM' vini pfiipuae —

C.Hfic. The pLeiuurc of a more frequrnt udmis-
Mon to you,

Ara.'U that all?

Cape. VVIu> knows but a strict tntittuey widi
Mr Cadwulluder moy in time incline luni to f*-
vour my liupes?

Am. \ Muuly foundatioo ! — Could Iw be pre-
vmlcd upon to Torsive your want of fortumi, the
obscurity, or, nt lrn.st, uncertaiuty, of yuur birtli,
will prove an uiisiirnmuntahlc bar.

C*td- Hold, hutil, liddj Bock; — xouuU! yoa
arc WJ —

t04

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Foots.

Ihright. Well, but hear him oat, madam.
Cape. Consider, we have but an iostant. What
project? What advice?

Ara. O 6e ! You would be ashamed to receive
snrcoQr from a weak woman ! — Poetry ia your
profession, you know ; so that plots, contrivan-
ces, and ail the powers of ima^oation, are more
pecnliariy your province.

Cape. ly> this a season to ralW ?
Cad. Hold, hold, hold ! ask Mr Cape.
Ara. To be serious, then; if you have any
point to gain with my brother, your application
must be to his better part.

Cape. I understand you ; plough with the hei-
fer?

Ara. A delicate allnsion, on my word ! but
take this hint — Amongst her passioni^ admira-
tion, or rather adoration, is the principal.
- Cape. Oh ! that is tier fuible ?
Ara. One of them ; against that fort you must
plant your batteries — But here they are.
' Mft Cad. I tell you, you are a nonsense man.
and I won't agree to any such thing: — Why,
what uunilies a parliament man i You make such
a rout, indeed.

Cad. Hold, Becky, my dear, don't he in a pas-
noD now, hold ; let us reason tlie thii^ a little,
my dear.

Mrt Cad. I teH you I wont— what, is the man
an oaf ? 1 wont rea»m ; — 1 hate reason ; and so
there's an end oQ*t.

Cad. Why, then, you are obstinate, ecnd, per-
verse. He}, but my dear, now! Becky, thats a
good ^1 ; — Uey ! come, |iuld, hold — ilgad, well
liter It to Mr Cape.

Mrt Cad. Defer it to who yon will, it will sig-
nify nothing.

Cape. Bless me ! what's the matter, madam ?
— i^re, Mr Cadwalladcr, you must have been
to blame ; no inconsiderable matter could haie
raffled the natural softness of that tender and de-
licate mind.

^ra. PrettT well commenced.
Mn Cad. Why, he's always a fool, T think ;
he wants to send our little Dicky to sdiaol, and
make him a pariiament-man.

Cm>e. How old is master, madam ?
' 3ari Cad. Three years and a quarter, come
lAdy-day.
' Qtpe. The intention is rather enrly.

Cad. Hey ! early ? hold, bold ! but Becky
mistakes the thii^— Egad, I'll tetl you the whole
■ffiur.

Mrt Cad. You had better hold your chatter-
ii^ so you had.

Cad. Nay, prithee, my dear! Mr Sprightly.
do stop her mouth ; hold, hold. The matter, Mr
Cape, is this. Have you ever seen my Dicky i

Cape. Never.
' Cad. No ! huld, hold ; 'egad he's a fine, a sen-
sible child; I tell Becky he's like her, to keep
her in humour ; but, between you and 1, he has

more sense already than all ber family pot tc^e-
ther. Hey ! Bed^y, is not Dicky the picture of
you ? He's a sweet child. Now, Mr Cape, yoa
must know, I want to put little DicJtj to adbod ;
now between — hey I you, hold, you, bold, the
great use of a school is, hey ! c^ad, for children
to make acquaintances that may hereafter be
useful to them : For, between yoa and T, as n>
what they learn there, it does not ngnify two-
pence.

Cape. Not a farthing.

Cad. Does it, hey ?— Now, this is oar diipate,
whether poor little Dicky (he's a sweet boy) shall
ifo to Mr Qux-Genius*s at Edgware, and make
an acquaintance with ray young lord Knap, die
eldest son of the carl of Frize, or to Dr Ttckl^
pitcher's at Bamet, tn form a friendship with
young Stocks the rich broker's only cfatld.

Cape. And for which does the lady detenninef

Cad. Why, I have told her tlie case — says ^
Beckv, my dear, who knows, if IMcky goes to
Quse^Genius's, but my lord Knap may take sodi
a fancy to him, that upon the death of his fiidier,
and he comes to be carl of Frixe, he may make
poor little Dicky a member of parliaxoent ? Uty,
V ape?

Mrt Cad. Ay ; but, then, if Di^y goes to
Tickle-pitcher's, who can tell but Toui^ Stocki^
when he comes to his fortune, may lend him mo-
ney if he wants it ?

Cad. And, if he does not want it, he won't
tnkc after his father, hey ? Well, whu^ yodr
opinion, Mr Cape?

Capr. Why, Bir,Ican't but jwn with thelady;
money is the main article ; it it that that makei
the mare to go.

Cad. Hey I egad, and the alderman, too, ym :
so Dicky may m a member, and a fig for my
lord : Well, Becky, be quiet ; he shall stick to
Stocks.

Mrt Cad. Ay, let'n ; I was sure as how I was
right.

Cad. Well, hush, Becky. Mr Cape, will yea
eat a bit with us to-day, bey ! will you ?

Cape. You command me.

Cad. That's kind : why, then, Becky and Bell
shall step and order the cook tu toss op a Httk
nice— —Hey ! will you, Becky ? Do, and HI
brin? Cnne.

JIfrs Cad. Ay, with all my heart. Well, Mr
What-d'ye-call-um, the poci; ecod thte lotn'i
well enough — Your sen*anL

Cape. 1 am a little too much in dishabille to
ofTcr your ladyship my hand to your coach.

Cad, Psha! never mind, I'll do ifr— Here
you have company coming.

[Exeunt Mr and Mas Cadwallajiu tad
Arabella.

Enter GovERKOR and Robih.
Cape. Ah, Mi Robin !

Foot E.J

BRITISH DRAMiV.

I

K*fr. Why, you hare hftd « greot levee this
moniipg, *tr.

Capf. Ajr, RotHD, there's no obscuring extra-
ontiiiurr tnlenLv

Hot. 1'ruff. »r ; and thtti friend uf mine hef;;*
to cluiui the bcoclil of tlictn.

Cwpe, Any frieod of yuan : but how cnu I be
•crvioeKble io him P

Roh. Why, sir, he is lately returned from a
pm6tatil(> goTPTnincnt; nnd, ns yoo Luuw the ur»-
■idrfcd tuiud of man, no booncr is oue object
fomtMtd^ but another &turt6 up tii —

Cmp«. A trace to moraii/in^ dear Robin; to
the maner ; I mm a httle hu•^y■

itofr. In a wurd, then, lhi<i c^nlletnnn, hnriug
s good deal of wealth, is dcstruus uf a little ho-
nour.

C^ipe. Hnvr cnn I confer U }

Hob, Your pen mny.

tlapt, I don't uiiileratand vou.

fiofr. ^Vhy, loucli him up a handsome contpli-
■MOtai^ aildrrs» from lii^ colony, by wtiy of
pmumi the prudence of hi& aihmni^tratiun, his
jortice, valour, bcnctolence, nw\

Ctf^r. I am sorry 'tis iinptH^ibln frw mfl now to
sniiundvnuiid you. The obiijnitiuus I owu you,
Robin, n'Mhiiti; can atncrl ; ottier^iso, tliii \fouli]
pmre onr Inst inlerriew.— Yotir frirmf, sir, has
occo a little miMukcn, in rvcoiunKMiibni* mv as n
person tit for your purpoiie. Letters hiive been
alwaya my pauiun, aud, indeed, nrc nnvir my
profcvsina ; but, tbout*U I uui tlit; ^-rvuni uf the
public, I aiu not the prostltulc of putticulBrs:
As nty pen has mrver lieeii tiiis:ccl nitli inijt tu
iratifv popular re»cntinmL, or private pique, mi
It tfiBll nc*er Micritirc iu intcs;nty lo Qtiiicr pride,
'ituytf^p f»l<«lttMM), nr palliate puilt. Ynfir uient
nwT br jrrrnl ; but, let those, Mr, be the heruld*
of yitur worth, «hn nre belter acqiininlcd wirli it.

Ow- Yuuiif* mnn, X lide your principle mikI

r'ril ; your nuiiily refusnl itives me more pleiisure
in any bunours your pii|K.-rt cuuld haw pro-
cured tne.

Sfrigkt. Now, this business ift dispnicbed. let

o» return to our o«n a^iirs Yuu diitc at Cad-

walbuler'* ?

Ca(*f. I do.

Sprt^lti. Would it not be coovcnietiC to you to
ba«e litiu out rif t)tc way.

C<i//r. Extrtracly.

fright. I hove a project that I think will pre*
tail.

Cape, or wfaDt kind ?

Sprigkt. Borrteriim nprm the dnmatir; but
Ae citnp is Ml prcshins, I Hinll be nt a lu*^ to pro-
cure performers. Let's see — Itobin is n Mire c«rd
—HI principnl luay citHlv be nut with ; but wltere
ibe nriin* cun I get nn interpreter ?

fLttf. <_)lipr yourself, *ir ; it will give ynii an
opportunily o( more closely iuspcrtiiip the con-
(ma of your ton. {AkuIc la Gov.

tir«v. Tnic. Sir, thou|^ ■ bclMmo of this aort

may ill nitt with my character and time of lifc^
yet, fnim a private inUre^t I laki in ihnt (cenU**
man's MfTnirs, if tbe n<e&ns ore trf>n<>urnbte —

iipnfihf. Inrvtreni, np«n niv credit.

Cirp. Why, tlieo, sir, 1 have nn objcctioOt if
you think me eqnal to ih** taik

Spri^hl. Mn^t Imppilr 6tiPd for it. I should
rmt have taken the liberty — But hufth ! he's r«- j
turned.

Enter CAnwALLADER.

Sprieht. My dear friend I Uie luckiest drcuifr-
stance!

Coii. Hey ! how ? Stay, bey !

fyhgitt. You aec chat genilctnanF

Cad. Well, hey !

Sftngiil. Do yuu know «hn he it?

Cad. Not I.

Sprtght. tie is interpreter to prmoe Potowow-
«kv.

'Cad. Wowsky !— Who the devil is be t

SprtpMt. Why, the Ttirtarian prince, that's
couLC over ambassador from the Cbum of tfa«
Cal mucks.

Cad. Indeed!

Sprigkl. His hipjbncss has jost Sttit me an to-
vilaljon to dine with him : now every body (hat
dint-s with a Tartarian lord hus a right Vt carry
Willi liim tvltat ihc liitins called his tiM^a; ta
their lBnp;uai;e it n jattlaaoiuky.

CW. j&bbnou^ky ! well.

Spright. Now, it you will go in that cnpadly,
I ahail be (i^lad of the honour.

Cad. Ik-y ! «hy» would you carry me to dine
uilh his ruyiil highorss?

S/>nfki. With pleasure.

Cad, My denr friend, I sluill take it as the

^riiitetit favour, the greatest obligiuiou 1 shall

never lie oble In rchim it.

S/irif:iit. Don't mention it.

Cud. Hey ! but hold, hold, how the devil ihaU
I uct otf mill ilio poet ! You know I liare asked
luiu lo dinner.

Spriicfii. Ohi (he occnsioa will be apolo^ miF-
6ricnf ; besides, there nill be the looies to re*
crivf him.

Cad. Mv dear Mr Cape, I beg ten thousand
pardt'On 1 but here your friend is invited to din-
ner with prioco ^' what tbe dcrii i* bis

uarne'

Suriffkt. Potowowsky.

Cad. IViic; now, Mr, enH) be ImsbeensokimJ
as to otTer m carry nie as his j^amnisky; would
VfMi be Mt cikkI (o rtcuse

Copf. Hv all means; not a word. 1 hei;.

Cad. 'I hnt is etcccdins Wind ; 1*11 come tr.> yoo
after dinner ; hey! sltiy, but is lliere any eert-
monr lu be used wiih liirt hiuhness^

.Sprieht. Voii dine upon nirpets, rrrtw-lepjed.

Cad. Iley ! Iiold, hold ! crosvlecrol ! fiumb !
tlint'sodd; trrll, well, yuu slinll teiu-h nie.

Spiight. And ht» higlioese u pariicularly ple»>

[FOOTB.

acd with those amongst hb gue&ts that do honour
to hb counirjr wup.

CnJ. Oil ! let nic alone for thftt :— But should
not I drcu ?

Sorighi. So ; there's no occuion for it

Lad. Deur rrieixl, forgirn me ; nottiiiiE bhnuld
take mc froni von. hut being n hnbblmwiskv.
Well, rit go Bod Htudjr to sit cross-legged, till
jou cnll mc.

Spright. Do so.

Cad. His highness Potowowsky ! This is the
luckieit accident I [ Krit Cad.

Cape, ila, ha, ho \ — but bow will you con-
durl ynuT untcrprixe f

Sprighl. VVe'U carrv him to your friend R«>-
bin's ; drew up one of (lie under actors ia a ri-
diculous habit : tliis iccntlcuinn shall talk r little
gibberish with him. I'll compose u soup of some
Aauseous ingredients ; let me alone to maoage-
But do you cboosc, i^ir, tlic purt we hiive n^
_ i^Dcd yuu f

Gov. As it seems to be. but a harmle^ piece
of mirth, 1 bare uu objection.

Spright. Well, then, let us about it: comc^
air.

Cape. MrSprightiv?

Spright. Whni'n the matter?

Capt. Would it not be ri^t to be a little spruce,
H Uttfe swart, upon this occasion i

Sprigilt. No doubt ; dretsi dresa, man ; ao
time is to he Inst.

Cape Well, but, Jack, I cannot aay tbat at
present I

Spright. Prithee explain. What would you
say?

Cmpe. Why, then, I cannot say that I har<!
any nther jptnncnLs at home.

Spright. Oh, I understimd you; is that allF
Ili're, Imre, take my

Cape. Dear Sprightly, I am quite ashamed,
and sorry.

Spright. Thot'» not sooblij-in^ Ceorne; whaf,
sorry to give luc the i(rratcst pleasure that — But,
I hnic no time for spcetheg^ I muse mn to get
ready rav soup. Come, gcntJamcn.

Rut: IJid voQ observe, sir?

Got. Mast feeling)^ ! But it will soon be orcr.

HtA. Courage, uti tines, pe^lulp^ nsy
change.

Cape. A poor prospea. Itobin ! But tbii
scheme of life ai la&t nnisl be chiiii^) : foriibat
spirit, with the Icaiit siKirk ui i^enerosity, can np-
purl n lite uf eiorrml obli^liun iind disagnvt-
blo drudgery? Inclmaiuin nnt consulted, gjconis
cramped, uiid talents misapplied !

What priwpcct have Uiosc authors to bo read,
Whose doily nritiitgs earn their daily bread!

ACT n.

SCENE L

YovkqCatz and Mas Cadwaliadcr, at
card$.

Mri CatL You want four, and I two, and my
deal : uow, knore noddy — no, hearts be trumps.

Capt. 1 bee.

Mrs CAid. Will you stock ihem?

Cape. Goon, if you please, madam.

Airs Cflrf. Hearts again- tme, two, three ;

orw, two— liang them, they won't slip, thtvv. —
Diamonds — tlic two: have you higher than tht
queen?

Cape. No, madam.

Sir$ Cad, TIteu tlicrc's highest — and Invest,
by gosh ! Games are even ; yuu ure to d«U.

Cape. Pshaw, banc cards ! there aru other
amusements better suitcrl to a tctc-&-tete, than
■ny of the four uces can ufiurd us.

Jl/ri Cad. VVhnt pastimes be they ? Wc bcn't
enoupli fur huut die whisllr, ivur blind mnn's bulT:
but 111 rail our Bell, and Rubin the butler.—
Dicky will be here by and bv.

Capf. Hold a minute. I Iiave a game to pro-
pose, where the presence of a third pcrvin, p^
pecittlly Mr Cadwaihider's, would totally ruin the
biport.

Mrt Cad, Ay ! wliat can iliat be?

Cap^. Cnn*t you guess?

jtlri C4id. Not 1 ; questions and r niiimdlt
inayhnp.

CajtT. Not uhtolutely that — some little mcm-
tilatice ; fur I am to request, aud you ore to c«a*
rnand,

Mrt Cad. Oh, daii^ ! that's chanmng; Inertr
played at thitt in all my bom days ; come, bepur
tlien.

Cape. Can you love me?

Mrt Cad. Love yuu ! But is it in jest or esr-
nest ?

Cape. That b as you please to dettrmioe.

Mr$ Cad. But maynl 1 ask you quatJoi^
too?

('«;v. Doubtless.

Mn Cad. Why, llw^n, dn yon Iotc me?

Cfl/ir. Willi idi ruy wiul !

Mrs Cad. Vpon your sayso?

Cape. \^pf»i iiiv MtVMt.

Mrt Cad. I'm etsul uii'i. wiili all my hmtt—
This is the rarest pastime !

Cape, But yuu Iwvc not answered ny molt-
tion.

Mrs Cati. Iley ? that's true. Why, I bdiirt
tlierc's no love hxt.

Cope. So; ourgaincwill •um>u be over; I ilisll
be up at a drnl. I wi^h I muvn't lie eniigcd i*
pjwy (Iteper liere llian 1 intended, tbaugh. [jti*

FOOTK.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

^

I

I

JWr< C^id. Wet! ; now *tn your turn.

Capf. Trac, ny ; but, z(M>ks vou ure too haaty !
diA pwBMirc of this plav, like hunting, does iiot
ctumui in immediately- chopping the prey.

lfr> Cad. No ! huw then f

Capf. ^Vhy, lint, I am to start you ; ttten ran
jau m licdc m riew : then losr you ; then anrn-
vcl all the tricks uid duuUcs yuu make to CBCupc
me.

You fly o'er hedge and stile,
1 pwnw fur mBny a loilc :
Yoo grow tired «t hiai, and qunt ;
Heft I citch you, and all th&t.

Ifri Cuet. D«ir roe, there's a deal oii'l ! I

I nevnr be able tu buld out lung ; 1 had ra-

' be taken in view.

^pc. I behcie y«w.
' Mr$ CodL Well, come, be^in ami start rac,
thM I may come ilie Mionef to quottuii* — hush !
here'* Mster; wiint the deuce bnjught her? I^Jl
will be fur Icnruiug thiA ^uic, too; but doit't you
each Uer, lur your life, Mr Poet !

£n(er An^BELLA.

Am. Your mantua-maker, with your new sack,
ibtrr.

Jtfrt CoA U Ibit all f She might hnve staid, I
think.

Ara. Whatf You were better enRaecd ? But
doa't be luipry ; I ran sorry I interrupted vou.

Jtfn CW. Ilev ! Now wilt I be lmnf;e<f if she
beo'l jealnus of Mr (*net; but I'll liftteii, luid MX
tbe eud ou't, I am resolved.

[Aiidf, and exit.

Af^A. Are yua coDccmcd at tlic mtcrruption,

100*

Cvpt. It tvas ■ very scaMinnhtc one, I promibe
you: had yOu staid u little lonccr, I don't know
w*a* might liave been cbc consequence.

Ara. No dant;er to your perwii, I hope }

G^ Some little attacks upon IL

Am. Which were as feebly resisted.

Viipe. Why, cnnsidf^r, my dunr Hell, thoai;h
your mtrr i> a foot, bhe t& a fine wumun, and
flesh t% fmil.

Am. Dear Bell ! and flesh ia frail \ we arc
growD strmngcly familinr, I ttiiuk.

Capf, lley-duy? In whiit corner bits (he wind,
vmt

Ant. Where it mny pn»ib1y blow strong
nough to ovcnct your hopes^

Cape. That a breeze of your breath can do.

Am. Artected!

Cape, You are oblii^iniz. madam; but, proy,
vtat u the meaning of alT this i

Ara. A'Jk vtnir own guilty conscience.

Cflfr. Were I uicline<l to flatter myself, this
fniie pASsion would bo no bad prcsfleci.

Arv. Yoo may prove ii fnlbc prvp£e«.

Cape. Ix-t me die if T know what to-— but to
descend to a little common sense; what part of
my conduct —

Ara. Look'c, Mr Cape, alt explanatinns Are
unnecessary : 1 hare been lucky enough to di^
cover your diKMnition l/cforc it is too late ; and |
so you know tbere's no ocauion — but, however. I
111 nttt be any impediment to yoo : my sister will i
be back immediately ; I Mippnse my presence

will iinty but coiiuder, sir, I tmvc a tiroilicr'i

honour

Cape. Which is mt siifc from tnc, as if it was
locked up in your brother*6 closet ; but surely,
Ukadnm, you are a litUe capnciiiu» here; have I
done any thing tmt obey your dirf^tiuns?

Ara. That was founded upon a suppositiot^
lliat hut no matter.

Cape. Thnt, what?

Ara. Why, I was weak enough to believe^
what you wns wicked enounh to protest —

Cape. That I loved you i and what reason
have 1 (jiven jou to doubt it?

Ara. A pretty Mtiwliou I found you in at mj ,
entrance.

Cape. An assuoKd warmth, for tbe better caiH
cenling die fraud.

Mrs Cad. Whal^ thnt? [Atide, lUtrning.

CtJ/K. Surely, if yon doubted niv ootistancy,
you oiust have a better o|nnioii of mj uoder>-
stnnding.

Mrt'Cad. Mighty well! {Audi,

Cape. Wiiat an idiot, n driraller ! no conude-
mtion upon earth, but luv paving the way tu tho
p«!it«fwinn of you, could liove prevailed upon me '
to support Iter folly a niiiiulc.

Enter MbS CADWALl.AttCIl.

Mn Cad. Sub ! Mr Poet, you are a pretty '
geullcinnn, iiKlue d ; ecod, lui gtnd I have cHU)!hk |
you. I'm not »urh a fool as you think for, man; '
but here will be Tricky presently ; he shull bear ;
of your tricks he shall : I'll let him know what ft
pretty penon he has got in his bouse.

Cape- lliere's no parrying this ; bad not f bet-
ter decamp i

Ara. And leave roe to ibe mercy of the ene-
my ? Mj brothei''s tcmptr is w *»ad, there's no
knuwini; ni Mtint linhi lit-'ll Me this.

Afri i'ad. Oh, lie's below ; 1 hear him. Noir
nc shall ht-nr whnt hc'U say to you, madam.

Enter CADTfiLLAvts, Governor, SpRioaTLT,
and KoBifi.

Cad. No. pray walk in, Mr Interpreter; be-
Iwedi you nnd 1, 1 like his royal hijihiicss mighc-
ily; he's a polite, pretty, wclf-bred gcnilcuton —
but damn his siiup !

Cfi: Why, sir, you eat as tf vou liked IL
CaU. Liked it ! hey, egad, \ would not eat
aooihet QIC5S to be Ins master's prime mmister;

£06

BRmsn DRAMA.

CFOOTI.

fi» bitter as gmll, and u black as my hat; nnd
Ibcn: have I bci-o sitting thcie two boim wiib
B17 kt;3 uurler me, till tbey ore both u dead a» a
berriitg,

C'o>'<'. Your dinner displeased you ?

Cc/r/. Displeased ! bcj ! look'e, Mr SprigbiJv.
Fin ini|;htilv obiigt-d to you for the huiiuur; but
liold. huid f vou thidl never persuade mc to be a
bubblinwi&ky ogaiu, if the great cbam of the Cal-
I mua weri! (o oume orer biinself. Hey 1 uwl
wliat a dntnncd lfliiguu|[e he tiu got ! Wbec,
bRM. haw — but vou speak it verv fluently.

OoB I was long rcsidcot ia tJte country.

Cad. May be ■ait, hut be teeou to ^>ciLk tt bet-
ter ; yu luiru u foreicn kiud of an acccul : you
don't sound it tlirough tJic noie »o well as lie. —
llcf ! well, lircky, what, and how hare you en-
tertained Mr Capt?

Mrt Cud. Oh! here hare been iinc doings
Bncc you bavf: been gone !

Capt. So ; now cotttes on the storm.

Cad. Ucy ! hold, liotd ! what haft been tl>e
maucr?

Jfri Cad. tilmXUiT ! why, the devil is in Uic
poet. I think !

Cud. I'he deril I bolit

j)/rt C^d. Why. here be hfts been making lore
10 nie jikt bewitched.

Ctd. How! which way?

Mr* Cad. Why, some on*t wa» out of lus po-
etrr, I think.

lW. Iley ! Imld, hold ! e^nd. I l>f>lievc he's a
little luad : tliis inoniiiif> he took ine fur king
Tomus, you; now, who can tell but tliis aftet^
tUHHi he inay take you for queen Dido ?

AIrt Cad. And iherc lie udd me 1 was to run.
and to double and quat, aud diere he was to
catcti roe, and all that.

Cad. Huld, hold! Catch you? Mr Cape. 1
taki' it very auLiodly ; it iros^ d'ye see, n very
unfrifudly thing to make luvc to Becky in Uky
absence.

Cupf. But, sir

Cad. And it was tlw more ungroerous, Mr
Cape, to tnkc this advantsge, as you know the »
but u fiKjIitJi wonmn.

Sir* Cud, Ay, me, who am hut a fooli^ WQ-
nwn.

C*ipe. But hear mc !

Cad. A pot>r, iriionuit, ilhterate, poor Dedcy !
And for a uian of your parts to attack

Cape, niere's no

Cttd. Mold, hold ! ccod. it is just as if cbe
Grand Sigmor, at the head of his jauissarics, was
to kick « rtiimney-swoeper.

MtMCud. llry ! wliiit's ilmt you say. Dkky?
what, he I like a ehimnev-SAeepcr ?

Cad. Hev ! hold. h.ild I Zounds ! do, Beck !
bty ! no ; iti.ii*'. niily hy wny '"f simile, to let him
Mv I undemtand hift tropes and figures as well aii
hin)«eli', fjnid .' nnd therefore —

Sprigkt. ^ay i but, Mr Cadwaltuder —

»d: ai
his your J

al9RV

Cad. Don't nif ntion it, Mr Sprightly ; he's Ac '
tir^t |Mjet 1 every bad in toy buube, c&cvpt the
bclltnan for aChristiuos-box.

Spright. Good ur 1

Old. And^liold, bold ! I am molTed be shall
Lc the last.

lipri^ht, I have but one way to uleooe hhn.

Cud. And let oie teU you —

Sjtright. Nay. ■tir. I must tell him ; be ovrs
his reception, here, Ui my rrcoramendauoM ; am
ab'isc ol vuur goodueu, any breach of hospitali-
ty, liere, be is antwerabic to ne for.

C^d. Hey ! bold, hold ; so be isy ecvd : ai
him ; give it liim boit»e.

fiprig/it. UniEruteful monster ! And is this y
return, for the open, prncraus trcatmcst-

Mri Cad. Aa i;ood fried cow-faecJ,
mast roMrt and saus^if^e^ as ever uun£ to

Cad, Uusb, Beck, hush;

SprigAt. And could you find do otber c^grtt
but Mr Cudwalladcr; a toaa, [lerhaps povsewd
ot a t;r.inus superior to your own

C^ll^. If 1 hud Imd a niiiierNiy edurutioo —

^/'^^A^ .\nd of a t'uiuily as old ai, the cm-
tiou !

C-rtd. Older ; Beck, fetch the p<->dignF

Sfirig/it. 'llius fill relaicio to this genlterDui;
but (10 r., Mr. what apolticy no vou maLetB^
who nas ytiur pns>«port, yi>ur s^iiiritj?

Cad. /oniids. nour- ! light bun !

Spriffltt. FiEhl hini !

i.ud. Ay, do; I'll fipht bin* mysdr, if I W
not had the measles lust ivtnter; but stay ttU I
get out of the room,

Spright. No : he's sure of a (irotectioo hein
the pfe»encc of the ladicii.

Cad. P^ia, pux ! they belong to the lamilyi
never mind them.

Spright. U'idl, sir, are jou domb? No a*
CU9«? No pnllintion?

Cad. Ay; iMt palliation?

Mrt Cud. Ay ; no iribulatian ? Tu a ifauafc
so it i^.

Cape. When I hai-e leave to speak—

Old. Stwok ! what the devil cau yua say?

Cape, Nay, sir ■

Spriji;H. Let's hear biro, Mr Cadwalladl^
however.

Cad, Hold, hold ! come, t>oi:in, then.

Cape. And ltr»t to you, Mr ^pni;!)!^, i» m
you seem most interested; pray, doca this dMBtf
corre»i)oiMl with imy other action of tut Wt
biiiw I have bad the honour to know your

SprifiAt- Iiulcrd, I rnn't say tliot I rectJIectt

but still OS tttc schoUasis AVma rtpenU ttf

pistimui.

Cud. Hold, hold ; wliat's that ?

Spright. Why, that ts as mudi as to fay, tki
is bnd enough.

JIfrt Cnd. By eo&h ! and so it is.

Cud. lurod. and sn it is t %pe«dL a little awt
Latin 10 him; if I had bcco bred at the ooirfl*

Foote!]

BRlttstt 6rAMA.

nty, jou should liafc It botti v6ta of joiir
can.

Cvpf, A littlf? pntiriKTf (rpntlrmrn : now, «ir,
to you. You wore (tlcu<>4?rl vour^clf fi drop a
ftm hints of roar bdr's wcnk'nciin ; might not she
take tao wt^usl; what wns mpunt m n tdck
matter n( tnernment >

<W. I lev! hold, hold !

Shiri^kl. A pahry «xcu«e; oin any wnmnn be
■BCD a |Vm)I h.\ not tu know whcu u man bat a dc-
lagB npon her per»on *

Cm. Amwcr that, Mr Cape, htv\ Answer

C«f*e. I can only aoiiver ft»r the \nnf>ctncy of
niT own intcntiDns : mtiy not ymir lady, nppre-
hnuiTc of my bcrijming hm trrril a iMvOoriTc,

caotrivc thu aur|^ with a view ut' deairuying Uu:
CMMMtion

IbHI^r. Conucrtion !

cWl H«7 ! hold, hold '. coTinecrion?

^trigkl. Thtfe'% swnfihiiii; in iliut —

C«tf. Hey ! in there f hold, hild, hpv 1 vond.
lie it ri(»hi — yoii'rf ri^hr, Mr Cape; hol<i, Bp(4.v.
my dear, how the devil could t>iu be so ^t-icltwi,
mj I cMM ; ecod, hold, hold ! h^w cotdd you have
the ■tdwdncss lo attempt to dcrtroy tlic connec-
tion !

Mn CWrf. 1 ion*t know what yoo 9«t.

Cmd. D'ye hear? Yoo are nn incendiary, hot
you h*ve miaaed yonr piiint; tlic c^-morrtion rimll
be only the ■trongcr : Sty denr friend, I beg ten
ihooMnd ptnfcms. I was too hasty ; b^tt, ccoJ,
BeckyS to blane.

Cape. The return of your fa^'onr his effiKcd
Cfcry other tmprwfloo.

CW. Tliefe'^ a gooil-narurcd creature !

Ctee, Bm if yoo have the lca»t doubts remain-
>n|, tnia hdy, yoar sister, 1 believe, will do me
ditia«ie« to owa —

jHfi C*J. Ay, ask my fellow if I be a thief!

(W. What the de«il is Beckv nt now>

JUrt CW. She's B» bad as be.'

CW. Bwt as he !— Hey ! bow ! what the devil !
ibe did not make lo^e to you too? Stop, hey !
bold, hold, bold !

Jtfirs Cod. Whv no, foo[i%h — hot vou arc always
nniBUi^ on with your ri{y>mnnriiM-lc.^ and won't
•wr Id bemr a body's stnrv out.

ChC Well. Becli ! rome. let'i hare it,

Mn CodL Be ifniet then; vhv, »s I wa« tpllinfr
TOa, first be made love to me^ and xianicd me to
W • hare (

rW. A hare ! hold, erod, thnt wM whimsical !
s hare! hey f dh, ecod, that rnii*ht tie beciiii^e hf-
thomcfai vou a little hnir-l»mined nlirwilv, Itcrky !
a daraftrd £o.id Shiry ; Well, Becky, gO on, lct%
Inre ii out.

Mrt Cad. Not I wDo^l tell you no tbore, so I

Out Nmy, orylhee, Brrfc !
Mips (^d. uoM yuur icnguc then : — and so
VouUl

there he was pjin^ on wMt htt ncmsense ; tnd m
in came oitr IVIt : and so—

Cad. Hold, hold, Becky ,— damn your so's ; po

on, child, h[it Iravc nut vnorso's; tis a low —

hold, hold, vuhar — hut go on.

Mrs Cad. Whv, how can I jjo on, when tou
Slop ra« every tnmutc ? W* II, and then nur Bell
rnmc in, and interrupted him ; and incthought
•>he lf>nked very frumpish and jealous.
Cad, Well.

Afrt Cud. And sol went out and tiirencd.
(W. -So; what, yoti staid and listened /
Mrt Cad. No ; I tcti yoo, upon my staytnc
^•ht went out ; no— upon my going out,' slio
staid,

Ciid. This is a damned blind story ; but go on.
Buck.

Mri Cad. And then at first she irotdrtl him
roundly for mRl'tnif love to me : and theu he said,
as how 4w adv-iwrt him to it : and dten she said
no; and ihcii heMiiiJ —

C'irf. Hold, hold ; «c shall never underitand
nil ihese hr'nand nKeN; tiii« may ail he very true.
Beck, but hold, hutd; as I liopo'to bes»cd,t)iou
art the worst teller of a storj- —

Mrt Cad. Well, I have but a word more; and
then be said, as how I was a ercst fool.

Cad. Not much mistaken m that. [AsSdr,

Mrs Cad. And that he nonld not hove staid
wiU) me a minute, but to pave the nay to tlio
possession nf she.

Cad. Well. Beck, well ?

Mrs Cad. And m that's all.

Cad. Make love to her. in order to get posses-
sion of you ?

Mrt Cod. Love to me, in order to get she.
Cad. Hey ! Oh, niw, \ begin to underarand.
Uey! What! is thts trot. Bell, Hey! Hold,
Imld, hold ; ccod, I begin to smoke, hey ! Mr
Cape?
Cape. How sliQll I art ?
Rol. Own it, *ir; I have a reason.
Corf. Well, what say you, Mr Cane? tbi's
have It without erpiiroeatinn; or, hold, bold, hold,
mental reservation ! Guilty, or not?
C'ipf, Of what, sir?

Cad. Of what ! Hold, liotd ! of makim' tove to
Bell i

Cape. Guilty,

Cad. Hey! how! Hold, /onnds ! No, what,
lint with an intention to mnrry her ?

Capv, Willi tlie lody'^ opprubulion, and yt>ar
kind c<intHL-[it.

Cad. Hold, hold ! what, my oonseiu to natirj
you?
Citp<, Ay, sir.

Ci'd. Hold, hold, hold ! what, our Bell to mix
tlte bl'fMl of the Cadwalladers with tlie puddlr
itf a priei ^
Cnpf. Sir !
Cad. A i»etty, p&ltry, rag^, rfaiminj^*

3D

filO

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FOOTB.

Surti^ht. But Mr I

Lu*i. A ficnU'linc — hold, hold, iHitd — i^rnrrt-
tocr, timt has n>j ii)>ire rloiitti^ ^vu\ bat-ks, no
ntotc htruils thau fiai». and no ebocs to his feet.

Spng/it. Nnv, bill— —

Lad, TKc o^»|)niii; of a il,iitif(liill ! born in n
ccthir — lluld, hutd — aiid Living iD a garret! a
fuiii^us. a mushroom !

Co/T. Sir, tiiT fairulv —

Cmit. Y<iur fulfill V f Hold, bold, hold— Peter,
fcic'i llw pedijirrc ; I'll sb/w yoii^Yuur familr !
H Utile ottNTiirc — liuld, liuld, 1 don't believe ;uu
eter had a e:rundtaLbtT —

Enter Pctkr with the pettigrfr,

Tlicrc It i«! there: Peter, help me to ».irctcb it
out: there's sct'in yardu tuore of lineals bchidi-s
three tif cdlnrr-nils, lliul I expect next Mondnr
fmtn the ticrnlff!) nAicv : d'ye M:e, Mr Sprightly )

HL'ttglit. Prxlitious !

LaJ. Nay ; but Iwjk'e, there's Welsh priiice»
mrul HinltitMutdorM, and l.injiH of Scotland, aitd
meatbcr^ »( purltaincnt : ]i<>ld, hold ! ecod, [ ait
nvKC iiiind Hn earl of a li>rd in inv p«:dii;rcc, hold,
tiuld, tliuii Kuli Khuu wuuld a M.Tjeuiit in tla-
triuneil biiudf.

Sprifht. An ama/ini! descent !

Lad. Hey ! Is 11 uiAf And tor thii tow, lou»y,
son of a slioeaiBker. ti> talk of iacniijes — hold,
hul<(. cet oil! of my tM>n«.e !

Hob. Now i» y>iur rnae, Mr.

Vari. Mr S|ni^hlly, turn blni out.

Gtw. Stop, i>ir; 1 have ■ aei-rel todiscloK, that
mav lualiC vou alter your i»t(-ntiiHi<i.

C*<i</. Iltiid.ltold ! how, Mr Iitti-iprttcr?

Gov. Yon are mw to n^jiriird tli^it yoiiiiE mnu
in a very ilitlcreiit light, and cooaider him as my
son.

Copf. Y'uur son, sir •

Ctre. In n mitnivnt, (icorge, the mystery ahall
be explained.

itiif. Your Mjn ! Hold, liold ! and what ibcti ?

Our. *n»cn ! Why then he is iin loneer the
scnhtder, tlie mu^rooru you have described ; but
of hirth and fortune ft\ua\ w yniir own.

Cod. What! the son of a» inicrprvter prpmltn
me! A fellow iluii trudcis iibout, icudnn)^ oi
luHcn^e*. to foreign i oiirts !

Gov. A icnclier of laiu^nges !

Caii. Stay ; ecod, a ruiiirer lo Moosieuri and
Unrquis.4«s !

Si'fighi. You are mistaken, sir.

Cod. A javli-puddino 1 tlwit lakes BUip^ on ihc
nosT for hiipt- i>cc a-pii><;r! Hold, hold ! cnxl, give
me cighteeu-pt-anywurtli, tuid change for half-a-
Cruno.

C*tt. Slop when yon are well.

Cad. A »pun):er at otticr mens' uibles! tlial hns
jallup fMJt oitu lii<» W-rr, dnd his face blacked at
Ciuihtuuu fur Um: dirctkioo of chtklrcn !

Cop. I can bold no Ione«r. "Sdeath, ur, who
i} tl yon dure treat in ttn>- inuntier ?

Crttf. licy ! Zounds, Mr Sprightly, lay bold of
him.

Sftrif-hl, Calm your cboter. Indeed, MrCa^
walindiT. nothing could exnise your hehatiotU'
to ibis genlleronn, hut your mistaking Ins pv^
si»n.

Cud, Hold, hold ! Is not bo iDierpreter to—

Suriftht. No.

Cad. Why did not ynu tell— —

Spnght, Ihat was a nitsiake. This geotie-
man is tbc prince's friend; nnd. by toni: reu(h-nrc
ill the monarch's country, is pci I'vct inai^tcr of tlje
liuieuui:c.

Cad. But who tl»r devil is he, ilien ?

Upright. He is Mr Cnoc, &ir; a man of a»
hleniiKhed lw>[>our, capital fortune, oud late fp-
veritorofune of our most conbidcrable tcute-
toents.

Cad, Governor! Hold, hold! Aod how cane
y«m father to- -Itey ! —

Gov. By marrying his mother.

Capr, But how um I lo regard this?

O'lt: As H solemn truth ; that foreicD friend,
tu whom you u\se your cducaltun, wiis uu uthcr
tbiui myself: I lia<t my reasons, perhaps capnr
ciouH ones, fur conuealiDi; tiiis; but tnv ate;
tense, aud I am pniud to own mv son.

Cape. Sir ! ic is not for mc [iCneriiHg.\ but i
gmliioHe, duty, filial -

Gov. Rise, my lioy, I have veninred fur to
6x ihv fortune, George ; but, to find thee «<irtbj
of )t, more than n'pq>nvs my toil ; the rest of ■}
»tory Hlinll lie reTrvcil till we are aloiie.

Cad. Ucy I Hold, hold, hold ! ecod, a pxxl
senxible olil fellow this; hut hark'e, Spntibtij, I
liMic ntadc H damned blunder here. Hold,hw-
Mr ('Ovt-rn4>r, I u^L ten tliousuud pvdoiks; IX
who the devil could have thutmlu tliot the iaw-
pri'tiT t» prince I'utuwoKsky

G»v. Oil, sir, you have iu jfour power Mftoot
means lo alone fur the injunefc done us both.

CtitL Hold, how ?

Ciaif. [iy bcstoninc your sister with, I flsiuf
myself, DO great violence to her ioclinutam
here.

Ced. What, marry Bell! Hey ! Hold, hM.
hold! iiiunds, Bctl,'tnke him, do ; 'ccnd, br'o
a j[ood likely bey ! Will youf

Arab. 1 bhau't ilisobcy you, sir.

Cod. Shan't vou ' That's riphu Who ihedf™
knews but be may conic tu tie a ^int-ttwtf liior
bclf; hey ! Hold, hold; amtt here, tlicu, iprwo*
your hands bolh. \Jotits tkur ^ladf.J TIi«*
tliere; the bueinus), lu doite. And now, brot'''
governor—

Cur. Aud now. brotlier Codwulladcr.
Cud. Hey ! Beck, hcreVvnnethmg now f«rBf
pedijirec; we'll pitp in il«c Govrmnr tu-^nors*
Mri Cad. Hark'e, Mr Guveruor, oao yiHip^*
inc a black buy aud a monkey i

FOOTE.]

BRtnSH DRAMA.

1211

Cad. Hey ! ay, ay« you shall have a black boy*
and a monkey, and a parrot too, Beck.

Sprigkt. Deaf George, I am a little late io my
coneratuladon ; but

Gov. Which, if he is, in acknowledpinf; your
disinterested friend^ip, I shall be sorry I ever

owned him. Now, Robin, my cares are orer, and
my wishes full ; and if George remains as un-
tainted by aiRuence as he has been untempted by
distress, I have given tlie poor a protector, hiS
country an advocate, and the world a friend.

[Exeunt omneK

THE

MALE-COQUETTE-

BT

GARRICK.

DRAMATIS PEESONX.

MEN.
Daffodil, the M^e-coquette.
TuKELT, attacked to Sophia.
ijanv Racket, -\

Sir Wiixiau Whistee,/
Sir Tak-Tivt, \men of the town.

Spikneb, i

DiZZT, J

Ruffle, mi/ef to Daffodil.

rtrst WaUer.

Second Waiter,

Harry. •

WOMEN.
Sophia, involuntarily partial to Daffodii, W

esteeming Tukely.

Arabella, '\

Mrs Dotterel, f

Widow Damply, 4
Lady Fanny Pewit. J

attached to Daffodil.

Scenc'—Londtm.

ACT. I.

SCENE-I.

Ilnter Arabella, ondSopBiA tn Men^tclothet.

Ara. Indeed, my dear, you'll repent this fro-
lic.

Sop. ludeed, my dear, then it will be the 6rst
frolic I e^■e^ repented in all iny life. LooU'e,
Bell, 'lis in vain to oppose me, fur I ani resolved
— the only nay to find out his character, is to see
him thus, nnd converse freely with him. If he is
the wretch he is reported to be, 1 shall away with
him at once ; and if he is not, he will ihank me
for the trial, and our union will be titc Mron^er.

Ara. i never knew a woman yet, who hud
pmdence enough to turn off a pretty fellow, be-

cause he had a tittle more wickednesB (bu Aa
rest of his npighbours.

Sop. Then I will be the first to Betabetur
example. — If I did nut think a man*i cbuwur
was of some consequence, 1 should not now itt
such risques, and encounter such difficultia, n
be better acquainted with it

Ara. Ha, Sophy ! if you have love enoogli l»
be jeulous,andjeiilousy enough to trv tbeieeift'
riments— - .don't imagioc, thougji yuu ibotf
make terrible discoveries, tb«t yoa caa imo^
diately quit your inclinations, with yoor bierdmi
und return so very philosupliicaily to your pid^
coats again, ha, ha !

Sop. Y'ou may be as merry with my vcakotf*

GABtK

BRITISH DRAMA.

SIS

M«, u you pWuc, mkdam ; but I know tnj otru
hewt, ium) ou reir upuii it.

Jra. We are grvai buUie* by iiiasre j but
courrtiiir tnd twaffgcring arc two ibutjt^, oitiuu.

v>f'. Si»c« jou ue u Utile to be c >iivii>cc«l, u.i>
1 Mut to he peruuulal yw*r KrviuiL

[(i.HNg

Ara. NaT< Sophv, this ift uDfrieaHU — if vou
•re re»>ilvcU,ufHm vuur m'Immiii', open Uimuwitlf
out fcwne, and I'll a.^»i>t t<HJ.

di/^. Itapriinis tbcn: I c<>afess tovDU, that 1
burc a kiitil of wIuidmihI nttarhinent to iJatT't-
dii : DLU but 1 cnu sec his vaiiiticii aiid taugli ut
UieaL

Ant. Anrf like him better for tbow

Sap, Pkhaw ! don't pliigtie mc, beJl — toy oilier
knrr, the jmUtus Mr Tukely-

Aru. Who loves you too vrdl lo be succvm-
ful

Scyi. And irbom I rcsHy cstceu ■ ^

• Afiu A* a eood tort of mwa, bn, hn, ha 1 '

&ip> NajTi inoiiid tiavc loved bini

Ara, 11ml not n prcttjcr fellow atept in bc-
tw«vii. wliij |wrlia|ift doea not con- a fmihing for

Sop. Thai'i ilie question, my dear — Tiikelr. I
liy, f ilbcr tiuiit; by jcaltuj%y, ur unwilliiii! to lu<ie
Bw, without a Mrug^ luu intreaied tn« to kitow
inure ikT hit rivnl, before I eu^i^e Uio (u with
bim — Many ttratige tluofLS he Itat tuld nic, which
ba*r pitied mc. 1 luutt cunfesa, aud I uiu uuw
prvpanKl fur (he proof.

Ara. Yuu'U oertiuuly be diKOv«r«d, and put
to ttinine.

Svi^, I bare secured my success already.

Art. What do you mcnn }

Sup. 1 have aeei) htm, ixwvened with him, aud
vn (o nywt biiu a^aiu to-day, by bi» uwu appMiii-
aiciiu

Ara. Madness! it can't be.

ik^. Btu It bos been. I u-ll you—

Aru. Hvwi bowf Uutcily, quickly, dcarSo-
fhft

Sep. Wh«o ynu wettt to liidtr Fauny % lait niitht,
tnd feft me, as you ihnu};hi, little d»))OM.'d fur u
friilic, I dre?«e<l lue a* you sct>, called n cluir,
twl want to ibe Kii^'* Anus A*Auid for uiv t;«n-
deunin, Hod woa Bhcwo into a rouio; lie iiiiiue-
diatitly htl'i Wn comutuv, oiul cania to mc.

Ant. I tremble tor you.

&ip. i iulrudwed iu«v:tt* iis hu Ituliiio niible-
■au.jii^l am»ed : It Murcittic di 2kla<:aroni —

^r«, lUioulcHis! bB.ln!

&i^ An iiiliuiate ot' ur Charles Vainlove\
•bo la now a£ Ruuc — I tuld him loy letters were
wuh my boeeaae. at the ruftloa>-hout)e — He rt^
CWmI iij' 'I {Ik openiicS!> iniiifiiinUe, mid

^raold )i ,ijoi{ iiu- u> hi*^ frifndi. I bcf;-

(■d La Ih i.-i<.u-([i, but pruuiiMd tu attend biiii
h^duy, and am nu^r ready, a> yua utt, to keep
uywvrd.

An. yUtrmUbing !— and what did you talk
alxiui ?

Sop. or various thinjiES women &mon|[ tita

reM ; nii'l iIioukIi I li;i«e not alMululclv any open
tict^ of reU'ilKUi n;;niiiM bim, yet I fear he if a
tnulor ikt hmri — mid then siuxi vajiity ! — but (

luul not Uiuc 111 innkc cfVRt ili»cotcru:* it vraa

uieiely the protot>tic — The plav '» to come.

ylra, \xX your part well, or uc tjiall hiu vou. '

$iip. Never feariiir; vou don't know wlmt a
niad, rakin<. wild voung de^il I cnu lie. if I ^ict
my niimi u> II. Hell [tjtying koU of her,

Ara. You fridit mc ! — yoa sluill poajiivcly ba
no )wtl-fellow of loiiie any lont^er.

Sitp. t am remlveil lo ruin my wocaan. and kill
my nrui, before I fict iiiLi> petticoats afpun. |

Arit- Take care uf a qanrrel though — a riv-al .
innv be too rou^b nith you. '

&ip. No. IKJ, ti^hUds is not the vice of thratf
tunes; and, us for it little vwot^eriuR, damn it, t
can do it u.i vtell as llw t>eal of tlain.

Ara. lludi, liiwh ! Mr Tukcly w Itcre

Sap. Now for a triul of skill; if I deceive hiii^
yuu'il allu^v thnt Itiili'of niy buxtiKM is dune.

[She iratkt iiWr, tukc» out it gtau, a«4
itk/iu ml the futures.

Enter TvKtt^,

Tttke. Yonr scnranl, Mi» Dell— I need nnt j
ask if Miss Sophy be ut home, for I believe I
liate ecru Ikt since you did.

Ara. ilftvc you, .tir? VoU keem disouaccrtcd,
Mr 'I'ukely : Hiki any thing b.-i[>pcited r

TtUit. A tnlle, uiadsin — ^hut 1 wuii born to b«
trilled wJth, and to be nude uneu'tv nt rrille^

ArtL Pray, what trifliiu^ niUtr ba» di»turbc4
you ibutt?

Sup. Wlia^* the matter now ? [vl«iV4W I

TmU*. I n>ct Mi'^s Sopliy thi^i momeut in %]
ItHcknev rUuir. at the end uf ibc strtrct : 1 kucw (
her by the pink nti:tiu*e; but, up'tn my crossiii|r \
the way to spe-^ik tit her, she turned her heuj
Hway, bibbed violeiitiy, and drew die curtatu la {
I ay luce. I

Sit/. So, so; well said, jcnl msy> [JuWc.

Ara. Hlic was in haste, I suppose, tu get ta '
Iter ciieage<ncnt? ,

Tukt. Yes, yea, m:iiUm ; I i nnjifine she bnil

tome eupa^mwit ih>imi her haml* But »'iro^ i

madiun, hpr p-eat drsirc lo see bcr more aiireo-
;it>ic friends nwd not be attended wilh op»i>» 1
tempt and disregard to die rc*t u( her aLriuaiot* j
tuiCe. .4

Artt. Itideed, Mr Tukcly, I have w many c.v '
priref>, and follies of my own, thiit 1 can't |i«mibly |
answer for my cominV too. |

Snp. Wull aiitd, licll ! [MiJt,

Tukr. Answer, iniaal Xo, riciivcn forbid yo* j
should ! — fur my pnri, I have i;^vcii up all mf ]
hopes as a lover. Bad ofily, now, fuel tor hcr u A

fl14

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Garrick.

friend — ontl indeed us n friend, r sineere fricmU
I mit't but •iiiy, iliac pniiti; out in M liiirkncir chair,
without n Kcvvajit, aiid ewltMivutiriii^ lo eunrcal
herself, is v>mewhnt incumpntibl? with Mis* Si--
ph_v\ ranb and repuliilioii. Tliiy I *,y>ta\t as u
friend, not «<) ft lover, A]iss Hell! pmy iniitd thai.

Ara. I seo it vcrv plainlv, Mr 'I'Mkcly, ord it
givcft mc great pleasure, innt jmu ran he vi in-
diflfereiil in your love, and yet M jralous in your
friend^^hip.

Tukc. You do me Vinoiir, tntts^ by yonr good
0|Hniun. [ Waitit iihottt, and tee$ SoPlir.]— WhuS
tnnC, pmy }

Ara. A p:nileniBn whn is wailine (vr Stiphy.

Tuke. 1 ttiitik ihc luu gentlemen waiting for
her evcrj* wliere.

Sop. I nm Hfniid, air, [Cmning up to Aim wUh
her g(a$t.) you'll excuse me, llinl iiulwithstAiid-
ine yonr deetarntion, and this iodv*? coniplinieiita,
tlKfe is A little nf the devil, called jeiuousy, nt
(he bottom of all this uncauiiess.

J'likf. Sir!

Sop. I »ny, sir, wenr your clowk as \onji as you
picaw, the lioof will peep out, uike my word* for
It.

Tukc. Vpon my word, sir, you nrc pleaded to
honour mc with a rniniliirily which I neither ex-
pected, or indeed desired, upon mj alight nii ac-
quaiotance.

Hop. I d&rc snear you did not.

[rums off, and hums a tune.

Take. I don't understand this!

Ant. Thi< is beyimd I'lpcclation. [Axidr.

Sop. I preaume, sir, you never was out or Fjip-
Innd? [Pickiifi her teeth.

'J'ukr. I presume, mr, that you arc miMnken —
I nc«er was tn fuohslily fond uf my otwn countr\',
t'1 tliink timt nuihiikc good was to be had out of
it ; nor so shamefully un|?iitefnl lo it, to prefer
the \iccH and fuppenca of every otlicr uution, to
die pcculiiir nHvuntuces of my own.

St)p, tin, hti ! well »iid, old I^^land, i'faith ! —
Kow, ntnduni, if tim {.eotlenian nould put this
tpen-h into a farce, and pn^rly lard it with
lUiiNt liccf, and liberty, I would enuape the t'al-
trries would ronr and halloo nt il fur half a» hour
Cogclher, ha, ha, ha I

Ara. Now the storm's coroiiip. [Aside.

Tyke. If yuu arc not enen^jed, sir, well ad-
journ to the iwnt laveru> and write this farce be-
, cwecn us.

Sop. J fancy, ut, by the infortnaCion of your
lace, tJiflt you arc more inclined to tmgcdy, than
cometly

7\iice, 1 shall be inclined to treat you very ill,

lilfyoo don't walk out with mc.

[ ^ St^. I have been treated to rcry ill already,

in the little convcr&atiun I hare had with ytiu,

, that you muit excuse my ntilkins out for niorc

" t ; but if you'll pcrsiadc itie laily lo leave llic

u, I'll put you b) death — dmiuuc— —

[Ooing vp to him.

Ara. Frrr Heaven's soke 1 what's the nmuer,
eentlemeii -*

Tttkr. What can I dn with this fellow ?

Svp. MNdam. dofi't be ulnrmed: tlii« at&irwiU
he very ^hort ; I am always t'ipe*htious ; and will
out hi<t throat, wiihuut »ltockinj[ yon in CM Icmst:
—Come, sir, [Dfaa<] if yuu won't defend your-
self, I niubt kick yua about the room.

{Adimnring.

Tukf. Respect for thif, lady, and tkb houte,
has rurbed my rei>entnirnt hifhei-io : Bat a*
your iii»oU'itet; would take ad^antaee of loy for-
bearance, 1 mu5t correct it at all events- ■

[Dnm.

Sop. A- Ara. Ha, ha, ha !

Tuke. What t» all this?

Sop. Wluit. Houid you ^t your mura^ to a
poor weak ^vouinit f You arc a bold Uriloo, ilh
deed! Ha. ha, ha •

Tttke. What, Sophia?

Ara. .S<iphin! No, i»o; she is in n hntkntf-
chair, you know, without a tcrvnnt^ in ber pink
negligee — I In, ha, ha 1

T^ke. I am (uttmished! and can scarre be-
lieve ray own eycb — What nioaos tltis inetainor-
phosis?

Stip. Tis in obedience lo your commands—
Thus eijuipped, I hate cot access to Datlbdil, ind
shall know whether your pirlnre of him is dnrm
by your repird fur inc, or rcftenttnent to bin*—
* 1 will sound him, from hia lowest outc to tbe
top of his conlpa^9.'

Tukr. Your spirit traniporis n»c^— "Hos will be
a bu^y, and, I hope, a happy day for inc. I hare
appointed no le«s than 6vo ladies to meet toe at
the widow Dainplv's ; to each of whom, as weQ
a» ynorfelf, the aecompli<Jvcd Mr UaBbdil has
presented his henrt ; the value of which 1 am re-
i^nlvcd to OHiviiicti them of tlu» lught, for tbe
wikt of the whole sex.

Sop. Pooh, pooh! that's tbe old slevy— Yoa
are so prejudiced —

'fnke. i am afraid 'ti* you who are prejudicedi
madam; for, if you will believe your own cya
and ear*—

A'ryi. 'Hiat I wUI. T assure yoo; I shall tail
him immedintely. He thinks me in the couatiy;
and, to cniifirin it. 'ill write to bim a^ Iraa
ilieiice. But ask me im niorc qnesiMMis nhnt
t^'tiat I bnvv done, and what is in he dmu- : fir t
hnvo not n mmneiit in Iniie; niid to, mr goad

Trieiid Tukely, yoom My di-wr Hell,'! ki«

your hand. I A'/uri hrr hand.] You are a Sae
woman, by Hcnvens ! Here. Jns«-ppi. finiiKN>s
Fraoeesi, where arc my fcliowa there ? Call ■•
a chair, Vha PAmcrfCt Uberta

_ _ _ , or Tou! ^*mI,

now, what do vou stare ai ? You could not wtU

dctirc mure O, iie, fie ! dou't siiih and biw

your fingers; rouse yourself, man ; wrt »ll im"
wiu to work ; bring ibis faiUUeaa Corydin t«

I

ahHnw. and 111 be hanged if itie prize is not
yours. It' she friums in ttioc, I'll briiig her tu

che widow Duiii(ilv*ii

Tuke. Dtar Mi» Aral«lla-

Ars. Well, Mrll; itiakc nm a Iuip Kpreili anu-

ihi-r bmc. Aboui vour Lu&iuesb uum

J\Jtt. I fly '- [Kjit

ArtL What a couple of blitid f(N>U bns love
made of thi» pofir lellitw, bimI my dear cuu^iti
So|ihyi LilUv du tlicy iiimciiie, ulth nil llwir
wuc disooTcries llwu OiiiTitdil is a» rnilSful a 1<>-
vcr, afc be ia an acc>iiii|}lishvd f;riiUi:inuu. 1 pilv
these poor dcrt-ivcd Mrotnen, with all my lieurt'!
llut bow will tlwv »tarc whrn (liry find tlmt he
baa artfully prvtviidrd a icviinl lor (liriii, tJi«
bctrcr to ciriicval his real pa^^4ull I'ur tnc ! '['hey
wili certainly tvar my cyi*^ out; and what will
cmuin Snphy say to me, when wn aec ohlitfed to
dccbux: our pua;«>u? No inatipr what— 'lis the
fortune of war; ahd I fihall oulv mtvl' her, a*.
sbe and rrcry other friend would Mrte uic in
the ssuie ftiuaUon— ~'

A litllf chcittitii: never is n *in.

At lof'v ur curds— pruvidcd dial you win.

SCENE II. — DAtFUDiLLV lattfiingt.
Rtttrr D-irroniLL and KiTrLt:.

Dmf. But lut: you sure, KufHc, (list you dcli-
vcrcil tlie letter la»t night, in the iniuincr I ur*
derrd yjii ?

Ha/. Euictly, »ir.

Drnf'. And y^m arc %urp that Mr Dutterel saw
ytwj tlip the nuteinto Ins niie's hand I

Rmi. I have nlurnied him, aitd yiiu luny be a»-
red, that he i\ a« uneasy as yuu would wiMi in
hare him. Out I bhould he kIii(1> with your hit>
nutir'k lenie, to 1mm a Utile iwritius t-oiiviTsa-
Uuci wUh y<Ki; fur my mind forchudiii nmrh pe-
ril Co ll>e boncii of your Immbk- •^enruitt, aitil
v«nr tittle uUiBfaniou lu your luiiinur.

xAh/^ TItou art a must iucuuiprclii'iuible blocL-
bnd^

Huf. No RrcJit whdlar or wit, indeed; but [
can Jcel an ruk sappling, us well U5 aintlher ;
ay, and I should hme felt one last nijiht, it' I hud
OP( had thr IwrU of alt Mr D<jLtcrel'ti finiiily — I
|kad tlic wliuU- puck aftrr tuc^—

iMf. And dtd nM they cutch you ?

l\Hf' \o, tluiuk I Ipa^cn

D^t. Vou wftA Doi Licked, then?

iii*t No, «r.

I'iat. Niir caned?

HvJ. No, «r.

Dufi Nor drBK]{ed through a horse'pond^

h'.i O. I..rtl! \o,«r.

I).;f t hnt'a unluct^

liMi. .'Mr!

1>0/'. You must un »qnm. Kufflc, to-night; p«r^

«l«

Buf. If I t^o again, nr, nu^ I be caned, kick-
ed, and bofbe-ponded fur my |)ain*>. 1 Ift-lipvc I
have hccn lucky enough to bring an old house
o\w your head.

JJu/'. W lull do you mean ?

Km/'. Mr Uuttercl ouly hobbled after me, to
pay iiw for the postage ot jiour letter; but beins,
a litilc out of wind, he Mxin ^topt lo curK aaa
swear at inc. I couhl hear him mutter tome-
tliiup of fcuundrri, and pimp, and my nuister,
and villain — and liliiadcrmi&ii and miw piL; and
then he shook his stid, and looked like the dc-
vd!

Dttf. Glandcrbuas, and saw-pit ! Tliis busi-
ness crowa a little serious, Riid so wc*ll drop it. —
The husbiiDd i> m) old and peevi^, and she so
yuui^ and pre^i% that I'll invc it up, RuliJe;^
the town talks of ui>. and I uiii sausned.

H.vJ\ Pray, sir, with submiituon. for what end
do you write to so many ladies, uuil muki- >iich a
r 'Ut about tlieiii i iliere aiv now upon the Iii4 half
a dozen muids, a leath of wivirsi, and the widow
Damptw. [ know your hoiimir don't intend nii>-
rhicf ; hut what pleasure can jou have in drL-ci-
viitf; tliein, and the world i for you are thought a
ccriibk yuunj; f*entlfiaun.

Daf. Why thut pleusure, boohr !

H^f. I don't undcrntand it — What do you in-
tend ti» do with them all P Ruin thcai?

Duf. Not I, faith.

Huf, But you'll ruin tt»eir reputntioM ?

Duf'. I'hatV Uicir bu!iJuc<o; not mine.

Riif. Will YOU marry luiv odl- of them }

Duf. O, nu ! thai wtmid be finialiiti;; the ^anic
at once. If 1 prL-l'trrcd one, ihL- rt-at would tukc
it ill : so, bccaute I won't be particular, I give
tht-in all lmpt«, xvilhuut K»iiiK a step furdier.

liuj'. Widowa can't live ujmu ludi slender
dii-r,

Vaj\ A tmc sportsman has no pleasure but in
the chaitc; tlie ivame is always given to tbuse
wlw have less taitte, and better stotmtchs.

Ruf. I love to pick a bit, 1 mubt confess —
Realiv, sir, I sllould not care what became <if
half the women you are pleased to be merry
viith — hilt, Miss Si>phv, aurr, is a heavenly crca-
tuie, and dctc-rvex belter trealuteut; aiMl lit
m-ike love lu her cousin, luo, in the same house I
thiii t!) viTv cruel.

l)nj\ llul ii amuses one — licsides they ore
both tine creatures. And Itow do I know, if I
Eored (July on^ but tiie other tnif^ht puisun lico
self .'

Ruf- .And when ihcy know that yon liare lo-
ved them both, liiey may poison one another.—
I'lii^ alliiir will mnke a great noise.

l)aj. Ur 1 have taken a great dral of pains
for nothing. Hot no more prntine, sirndi ;
while I read my litiers, go and usk Harry what
cards and messages he has taken tii Uii» muriH
iiig.

fll9

BRITISH DRAMA.

tGAftltlCK.

Hvf, TliercS no fn^nding hira!

[Frit RtTFLE.

Dmf. [Opau tettm.] Thii is fprm ihe widow

iDaitiptjr. I know tier iK-ruviI nt b miir's dii^

diiet— *hc prrtem!'. Umt ilie Knshi of her h«^

ImnitS d^nth hurt her ncrre* «n, dial Iter hand

has ^Iiimk i'»cr ^incp — ha, ha, ha! It htts hoil

[ licr spcIhiiK too, fur hrrv is joy with a (f ; ha,

[Iir! p»N>r cimtiirv ! I Rcarfjt.j limn — hum — hiim.

I Well sat)!, widuw : Bnp *f»fui.s phiin, liiu'i. and

l-grow» iirRCot. I mu« KCt riuit uf hi;r — she ile-

liim n tftf « tfte ; whtdt, with widows who have

^luflcrfd much Tor ttw li»j of Uteir husbmid. i«^

»s mptaifl Uot)nr1il sa**, n Bcrvic* of danj^r. —

I Sfi, 1 am off. [Offrit nnitrAcr-.] What the devil

I have "ff hore? A bill in chaiurerT : Oh, itn ! my

[ taylorS tjtti — Stun Tutut, Ihrre hundr<;d niid »e-

I ventv-fijiir pounds doren «hilliii?% and five

jjicncr, tlirco fnrtliiiiC!'- Indeed, Motisitiir Chi-

Icnneau, this is a ditinited bill, ni)d you witl bo

idamtK^ for mnking it; iherefuic, fnr the <:ood

of your Srtii!, Mons. Chiconenu, yo\\ muit make

anotlier. [ Teais it,] Thr Frcndi know tlieir

i coii«cf]ncncc, and u« us ocwrdiiitly, [Opeut a-

90ther.] Tbis is frum Newmarket/

[Rtfuig.

* Ma; it please vour botiour,

* I woidd not have vou think of matching
' Ctierry-Ucrry wiih ClinifiTbread ; he is a terri-
' rible horse, and icry covciou?i of hi« gruuiid. —

* 1 htivc chnpt lliiHothrunilKi for the Konn mnre,
r ■ and lif:y ])Ound«. Sir R'>ii:er has taken the

* match off your fannds, whiz-h is a cood thim; ;
i * for the marc has thr disteniper, and inu^t have
w* forfeilf-d. I titinp bis honntir'4 groom, thoiieh
f * he wBS above an liuur in tlie stable. Hit* nut-
I* mce Etcj, Custard, is matched with Aldeiiniui.
I' Aldenwui tuis a lung wind, and will be tou
7* hard for CintanL

* I nm. your bnnoiir's
* Most obcdioui servant,

'Kootii Wnip;

Whip 19 I ^nins, ntid a ^ood §ervaiit. I Imve
I liuC u }'ct loftt above a ihoutuiiid t^'onids by my
bones i but ftucb luck can*l idwayA htsL

Ktttfr Ruffle, a-ffA eurdg,

Ruf. "nwrtT's the rDoniinffi ciinro, *rr.

!Thrate$ them doan u/ifn the table.
iiy ! I can't rend ibcn in a month :
I ]>rilhee, Itiillle. ftetdown niv inviiiiiiiin:^ fmin the
Mairds accordiiif( to their date, niid let inc tee
f.tlirti] to-in(trro«v moming— ^So much readiiiE
|%oiitd divtract nic.

Rttf'. And yet ibe«c nrc the only books tlint
(entlcmen read now-a-days,

[Aude.

Enter a SertMnt.

Ser. An' plea.se your honour, I rrvn^ot to ttll
you that there was a fentletnaa ber« last night.
Tvc fori^ot his iMtnc.

Rof. Old Mr Dattrrp), perhapv?

Ser. Old .' nu, no, be luaks vounpCr than hi*
honour. I believe lie's mad, lie can't stand still
II moHient : be lir^t rn^tcrvdout ofthe cliair, and
when I told him your honour wn% not at hoiop,
be capered into it spun — said tie would r«ll
tt):ftin, Jabbered Boioeiliing, and away be wen^
Mfi'iinj:.

Dtif'. Tis the marqiti* of Macraroni; 1 *••
him at the King's Arms ye*ttrn1ay : Admit hin
ivlwn be conies Harry.

Ser. I Fltnll, \oiir honour — I cnn neither wriH
or reniem})cr lbe^c outl8udi5h nalnes.

[Kxil Sermt.

Daf. Where 11 my list of womeo, Rufll^ aiHi
the places of their abode, thai we tnay atrike of
>onie, and mid the new ncquisttiocs?

Jiitf. Wluit, alter ugniti ! I wrole itoul fairbat
this morning — ^'I'hcrc are quicker succecsiDns in
your IionoiiKs list, than the onurt-calciidar.

Daf. Suikc off Mrs Dotterel!, niid tlie widow
Damply-

Ruf. They are undaoe.

[Strikes titm ant.

Enter Serutat.

Srr. A lady, Mr Ruffle, in m chair, most sfwiA

with vou.

Diif. Did she a&k fur me t See, RclBe, wkn ii
is. [KAt.

Ser. No, your bononr; bat she looked quite
llusimled.

Du/, Well, go lielow, and be careful not 10
let any old vTnticman in this mominr ; and. ffSe
licar ? if liny of ihc neighliourv >huuld ioquire
who the lady is, you may say it is a relation;—
and Ite sure smile, do you hear f whea you tell
them so,

Ser. I shall, your hoaour— lie, be, he, I am
uever lui'laneholy. [£m.

DttJ'. I hat fellow's a diaracter.

F.nter Rcrri-E.

Rvf. Sir, it is Mrs Dotterel ; she has M ~
tt^rnhie quurrel with her husband about ynur
letter, Bttd has wniiethini; to say of consequeuet
to Tuti both — she mu-t sec you, *he sayfc

i^Hfl I won't >ee her Why would yoo ■■?

that I wfts ai ImnH*- - You know I hale to be
a'line with tln-m, and sheV so tioleiit too

VSrli, well, sivr-vr her up' thn is su aih

lucky

nu/. tie hates to see duns he never imnvb
to jny. [Krtt KurrU.

OAKKfOKT]

BRITrSH DRAMA,

Daf. Whtt 9)i&H I do with her? Thix iswnrM
than meeting her btuband wtdi a btunderbuu in
a Mw-pit.

£nter Mrs DoTTikCL, and Ri'FPtt.

Dear Mrs Dotterel, this » mi ohliginc-

Rtiffle.<lon't let n soul come acar mc. [JUaul]
— And b&riV, don't leoire a% long together, and
Ik ever; liod; up that cumes. [Audr.

Ruf. Whtt s deal of trouble here is about
notbuig ! [Erit ncFrLt.

Un Dot, In the name of ^-irtue, Mr DafTDdil,
I hopo yuu bnvt; doi givea aiiy private ordera,
that tOMy in the least deroKatc from that absolute
cooGdeooc which I place in your honour i

Dmf. You m»y lie perfectly casjr under thii
roof, roadani. I hope, I am polite enough not to
let mj passions nf any kind run t-xi great lengths
in my own boute.

Mt§ Dot, Nothing but absolute necessity
oooJd have made nic t»ke tint imprudent Mcp —

I am ready to faiut with my iu>prehonsion<i

lldcfabof

&lf. UcftTva forbid ! — III call for M>me a»-
wunoe. [Goi.ifi io ring.

Sin Dot. Lcl JOQT belt nione ! [Stoptiing him.]
You're always calling for assistance, I tii:it.. — you
net-er pve one time to coiuc tu one's self — Mr
DoUltcI has wen vuur letter, and rows Tenge-
incc and dc>tniction — Why would jou be w
riolent and nnprudcnt?

Daf- I'he devil was io me, madam ; but T re-
pent It from my »oul ; it tins cured mc of being
DL

Dot. Comp. come, don't take it too dE>ep-
tilher ; I tliought it prujuT, at alli hazaniti,
ti> let you know what liad happened, and to in*
treat yoo. by thu afiection you have sworn to
ne, CO be careful of rov reputation.

Daf. That I will ioJced, inadam ; we can't be
too careful.

Mrt Dot. Well, Mr Daffodil, I am an unliappy
-fnarricd lo one I cao'>(>t love ; and lov-
! oi^ht Co »iiua — It is a terrible aituntion,

Bdii- —

D^. It is indeed, madam — I nm in a terrible
one too— Wunld 1 nos well nut nf it ! [Aiide.

Urt Dot. Do you knuw, Mr Dalliidi), ihat if
I had ftot beca very relicioiis, my pas<u'>iu would
fcwe ondoae oie— — Hot you must give me dme,
fcr oatlUDfi but tliot, and keeping the liest cooi-
ytOT, will ever cuitquer my prejndicfeft

D^. I should be very ungenerous not to nl-
W you time, madam — three weeks or a month,
1 b^w, will do the bui^incM — I'lioueh. by my
^BMor, I ^ol the better of mine io hutf the time
—What i* Kufflc doing ? \Ait<ir.

Mr* Dal. lie's very cold, methinks; but I'll
t)y bnn further — Look'c, Mr Duflodil, you mu^t
•* jour passtuni, and keep your disuiuco

Fire is catching, and one doM not knnw the con-
semiencca when once it bccinit to spread.

Jiaf. As you siiy, madam, fire \s catching ;
'tis dangerous to pliiy with it; and as I um of
tlic tiiKler-kind — ns one may say— wc had bel-
ter, OS vou ftBv^madam — change the subject —
Pray did vnu ever hear of Uic pug-dog llint you
udvertiiscd * [t was n very pretty creature — what
was his name, madnm ?

Afn Dot. Datfodil, sir I [Stifling her ptmion,
Daf. Madam !

Mn Dot. Could I love and esteem any thing,
and not cull it DafftMlil f— What a wretch !

[Atiiie.
Daf. You do me honour, mndani — I df>n*t tike
her looks; I must change the diKourse. [Atide.^
Upon my Soul, Mrs Ootlerel, tliis sUu^le is too
mtich for man : My passions are now tearing
mc to pieces, and if you will slay, bv heaven 1
will not answer (or the consequences i

Mri Dot. Conspqucnces! What conscouencesi
Thnu nretrhrd, base, fal«!. wortJilesa ainoml !
Daf'. Vou do mc honour ! \ Btwinfi.

Afn Dot. Canst thou think that I am so blind-
ed by my passion, not to see thy treacherous,
mean, unmanly cva&iuos? — I have long suspect-
ed your infamy, and having this proof of it, I
could stab yr>ur treacherous heart, and my own
weak one — Don*t offer to stir, or ring your bcM ;

for, by Heavens, I'll [CatcAei hold of Aim.

Daf. I stir ! 1 am never so happy, a» when I
[im in your cornpoiiy,

JMrj Dot. Thou licst ; Thou art never sa
happy as when thou art deccivint;, and brtniring
our foolish sex • attd all for what? Wliy»

for tlic poor reputation of having that, which
iboii hast neither power nor spirit to enjoy.

Da/. Ha! I licarsoHicbiidy Cuming — Ntmfor
a mp'ture [Atide.] Talk not of power or spirit —
Heaven, that ha<i made you fntr, ha» made nie

strong O! forgive the madness which your

beauty has occasioned !

[ThroKS himself upon hit knut.

Enter SerroHt.

Ser. Tlie marquis of Macaroon5'

[Esit Servant.

Enter Sophia.

Mn Dot. Ha ! [ScreamuA I am betrayed ! —
[Thty ait itare^ and Daffodil uemingljf
astouuhed.^

Sop. Mrs Dotterel, by all that's virtuous f —
[j4ii<fc.] — Signior Daffodillo — reito eonj'uao, Ut I
am com u mal-a-propotito.

Dif. Dear marquis, no excuse, I beg — ntrthtng
ot all— o relation of mine — my Nstcr ouly — Miss
Dafl*odil ; this is il Mcrcheso dc Mnccitr<>ni, a»
intinwte uf sir Cbarlcs Vainlove't— 'this naa

SE

318

BRlTiyil DRAMA.

lDdcy.--{^Me/e.]— Well, then, my tiemr sUtcr, I
will wnit upou jou to-(noTron. md sciUe tlie
wbulc mi&ar. — [Ahud.] — I am the most iniwr*-
' " ! of monaJs, mid bavc lost the mosi prcdous
ueius of my life.

[Gareick,

iAtide

[Aiide to Mm Pot.
I viUmia ! I ili

Mr$ Dot. Yoo are a viUaia ! I iloapiw you,
and detest you, and will never see vuu more.

[f!W( Mas Dor.
D(if. Iln, ba, lift ! my siater luu a uMa splrii,
tuy lard.

Sop. Mi ditpiaKt infinamfnte — ic tisiilis mc,
tnt I \vif inUrriimi'ata mI* affari nf yi>u hirnili.

l}qf. It is Ute old lAoiiiy tukincu, my lord ;
and 90 old, tho^ by roy honour, I am quite tired
of it.

5w. I hate him already.— [.-Iwrfc.]^ — Sigiwr
DaOodiUu. alic is una bclmima toreUa, in TcnV<),
a vtTj prit' sii' intit.

Dof. I mtist mntcss to yon, my lord, that roy
stster is n youii|^ discrcAM'd diuiiiiel, married tn uii
old ^cnilcDiuii ni tlic neighbour I viod, lia» hn, ha !

Sop. O Cora Inf-hiilerra ! vat a fortunnui
contT^c IK tis ! le olt men mnrri de ynng ^ne
nir!, and tc yong fine girl visile tc* yotig sijjiior* —
O, preciatu Itttrtu i

Daf'. Indeed, my lord, men nf fnsiliion, here,
have 6om« MUBil privileges; wc pitlier uur ruM.'a
without fenr of thum-j— husbands and brothers
doa't deal in |>oiauu and stilettos, ua they du with
you.

<S(>p. // noslro amicOf ngnnr Carlo, ha^ ti>l mc
a tuusaxit Mjlti, dat ynu vas d<; Ortiuidu Innamo-
rato himself.

Vof- ^^^ oot Furiosu, I can auure you,
niy lord, ha, hn, ha I t nni fur variety, and
badiDi^ nithout atTi^ciion—rcputaiion is the
grsat ornamenl, and ease (he great happiness of
life — to ruin wnmrn would I>c trunble.'Mmie; to
trifle and male lovr to them, iimu^A one. I
use my women as d.-iiniily as my tobny ; I mere-
ly sip of both, but nmrc than fialf a glatu jHilU
nie.

&yt. // mid prtipritguitc — Tukely is right ;
he's n villuitL— [vljiJcf-Sigiwr DafitKlilloj ?il
ynu do mc de fnvur to t;ivc mc i^transicr, una tt-
trintuzume to sotav of your wcngriue; let T<jj(ro
amim tatte a Iittel, un ptKO ntyuur dulrc tokay.

Ditf. O, ctrtameiife .' I have have half a hun-
dred *iign'irnies nt ynur senice.

,S(ip. MuUo obliguto, ugnor Daffodillo.

Enfer SetTant.

Srr. Here JH a lericr for your honour. [Surlily.

UaJ'. Whnt IB the inutter with tlie feXUiw*

Ser. Matter, your hauuur ! the lady that went
oor just now, i^nve me such a louse on the ear,
as 1 mndc my how to her, that I could scarce
tell, for a minute, whether I had u head or no.

Daf' Ha, hn ! pnor (cilow ! there's tmart mo-
ncj: fur yon. — [Givft him wonry.j— [£jrif 5cr.J—
WUI your lorduiip ^ve me leavcf

Sop. Senia ctrcawaK— now for it.
DappoDiL reads,

'Si I,
' I shall return from the couutry next weel«
' and ^hnlt hope to meet you at Lady Faoay Pewifi
' assemhly next Wednesday.

* I am \ery much your humble serrani,
* SoriiiA SpRiGnTii/

My lord marfjuia, here is a ^tter has itarted
|E;ainc for you ali-cady— tlie toost lucky tbouj;^
tiua^nahlc I

Sop. C'oia i guetto-^co$a, c — vat i*f

Du/, There arc two fine ^irls, you iniut Looir,
cousin^ who live toccther; this is a letter frum
otio ai ihcm, Siiphiu in bcr name; 1 liave nddro-
seri then) Uith, tut oa lualtert become a lillle »e-
lious on their side, I must ruse a jealoiuy be-
cweeu itie friends; diM:u\-eT lo oiie Inc ireaichrty
tif the other; and so, in tlte bustle, sleat off as
quietly as I can.

St'p. 0 f Spiritoio amiro— I can $atix cmh
t.iiii inyM-lf. [Amdt.

Duf'. Before the mine is sprung, I «iU mtra>
ducc you into the luwn.

Sop. You are great E«ncrali'<simo ta vrrHi mi.
I feel in mM core vat de poor infclice Sopbia vtl
feel fur the loM of signor DafTamllu.

Jh>f. Yes pf*o' creature ! I belie* c sliell have
a pan;; or two — tender indeed ! and I bclictt
uill be unliappT for some time

Slip. What a monster ! [J«Ur.

Duf. You must dine with our club U>hUt,
where I will introduce you tomoreof urCharln'f
friend^, ali men of figure and fn^iua.

Sifi. I must primo haf my leitere, dat yoor
amir\ may be amcurali dat I urn no impoatore.

naf. In tlie name of n<i)itene$.s my K>rd oui*
qui:., don't meniiim your leticra again ; none but
n justice of peace, or a constable, would ever mL
fur a certificale uf a man's birtli, parenttif^ anl
cducabon, ha, hn. lia I

Sop. Viva, viva il si^nr DoifiidiUo ! You ^
be il tnio condttttori i» lutU k purtUeoi kne
and pica&urc.

Dtif. \N'ith nil my heart ! you must p«« ■(
leave, now, toy lord, to put un my dotbcfr-lB
the mean time, ifj-our loruship will sup ttiiooii
study there. If you chuac inufir, there is a to\W,
and wHut: Venetian ballads; or, if ynu !iV' rr--!-
inn^ there's mndchty and bawdy novel-
cali Kuffle. there. [I.

St>p. [Jjioking qfiff Aon.] — I am -I
him ; he is really more abandoned tliai. 1 ;
Jealuusy desrrilied hiro. 1 have got my prcutK
aud will not venture any further. I am med
that I should he angrr at him, when I fh^lH is-
ly desp)!>e him : but f am !>o unjj^ry, that I cati^
almost wish myself a man, tlrnt my brci-Vi
miy;bc demand satisfaction fur tlic injury He hii
done my pctticonts. [£^<

fAKRlCie.l

BRITISH DKAMA.

«J9

ACT U.

SCESV, X.— Mna Dimplt's iodgingt.

Enter Arabella dntf Sopni*.

rScp. Iv short, Kin own dccUmtinni, the unex-
pected meeting of Mm Dotterel, hn iiNig*' of my
letter, and twenty things bewlu, detrnuinccl roc
noi tn g«i among the &et of tiKm — So, in:ikitiK thi>
best eicuse I coald, I f^t qoit of him and lii^
cm^>nmrm%.

" Aru. All tliia miv be trnc^ Sophy every

yoaof fslloit bnt his vanities ; fftjihion h»» rnndc
•odi imculantie« nccomplislmiciits, ami tlic
man aw^ be worth hnring, for all your discove-

Sop. WhAtt an ahnndooed, rash, proHi^w
aula BouBBttet a wretch, who cnn asvime pa*-
mom be oever fecK aitti sport with our mi's frail-
tto— fie, fie. Bell .'

Jfo. Weil, well. Tou are too Bn;;rj' to be mer-
dful; i( lie u lucli a moTi»tcr, I am ^liid yoii are
out uf hi* cJiiichr*, aitd that you can so caulyre-
api him tu another.

Sop. To another ! there it not that woninn, be
■he e*vr wn bandwnie, ttmt I liatc enutiK;)). tc
wish her sn iniich e\il ; nnd h&ppy it n lur vou.
Bell, chat yuu have a heart to rcsi^ his allure-
nent*.

Aru- Yes I thank mj Mars— I am not *o ta»-
npliUe of impmnons of that kintl — nnd yet — I
woB^t fwenr — if an agreeablr man — I — I —

Sop. iioi iMi, Bell, you are uot nbMtlutc «tonc
— yoo, jroo may be mollilied — she ts confmincl-
cd— [AMtiir.

Am. Sgrely he has not betrayed mc — ■ tia inj-
ps««ibie! I cannot be deceived. [.4mic.

Sif. Well, shnll wc E^n in to the tudics uiid Mr
Twkeiyf Were tlicy not surprized when he open-
ed dw boHncM to them ?

Ara, TVoa the 6nc4t ncene itnaginable—Yon
CBuUiee, tfaouoh tlirv all endeavoured to hide
(hair Eking to IHfibdil, all »ere uocnvy at TuVe-
ly*! dJacovery. At tint, they objected to bin
iriw«t; bat they beftan in listen to ht« propnul
ilw ovMnent I was cnlted otit to ynu ; what far-
Iber be intends is a wcret to ua all ; but bcre fac
^ mnici, nod without the ludies.

£n/erTDictLy,

TVJkr. PruT, Miss Bell— Blew me ! Miw So-
phy reiiinicd^ T dire noi a^k — and yet, if my
<ye» do n«t flatter my henrt— your lof>k> —

Am. Duo't rely too mudi upon looks, Mr
T^kelT.

Tmke. Madan^— why, sure ■

Snt. I>oa*t imacine, I sny, that you can always
tte toe miod in the ruoe.

Take. I can see, madam, tliat ynor mind it I
not di^iKrtcd to wi^i, or make mo happy. ]

Sop. Did not 1 bid you not to rely upon looks?!
Tor, do you Wmiw, m>w, that my mind is at this
time mc»»r absolutely disposed — to du'every thing
tbat you would have me. [Curttics. '

Tukf. n)Cn I have nothing more to wish, or i
«>k oi' fortune.

[Kaeeh, and kitset her hand, .

At9- Come, come; this <<« tin time to attend lo
one, when you hav so many Indies to take carr
of.

Tuke. I will nut yet enquire into your advei^
Ciirc!, till 1 hare accumpUsncd my u«n. I'tw 1j^
diet within hnve nt lust agreed to utiend me
this eveninp; v^h^^e, if you Jinveamind to fitiish
the picture you have begun this moraine, an op>
pfirtunily may offer.

Sop. I am otntciited with my sketch — how-
ever, I'll muLe one ; and if you hitve nn •occasion

for a second in any thing — I ain your man

commnnd me.

Tiike. A match — from this moment I talic yoo
a.s my second ; nay, my lirst, in every drcum*
stance of our future lives.

Ara. Mighty pretty, truly ! and ao I nm to
^tand cooliiic my hech, here, white yoo are mn-
king yoiinielves ridicutmii f

Sop. Ilell's in the riiilit— to basinrss, to b«si-
ne*!t-^Mr TukeW, yon mu'it introtliire mc to the
ladies; I cnn at leant make as g<Hxl a figure a%
Mr r>atfi>dil among them.

[Krit Soi*. and TcKt.

Ara. When Dafr>dir» real incNmitmns aro
knnvi-n, how Uumo poor wretches will be tlisap-
pointed ! lEiU Ama*

SCENE ll.—necliUMoom.

LoiD HACtr.T, Sib Tab-Tivt, Sir WittiASi
WuisTca,Si'iKMEa aritingjond l>«.rF00tL.
[WaitfT behind,

J}af. What do yoo say, my lord ? that I don't
do it in an hour?

LorJ Hflf. N'rtt in an hour and a half, Ocorfte,

Maf. Dune with yoo, my lord • Fll tltke yoor
»ei'cn tn live — screnly pound to fifty !

Lord Hcc. Done — III lay the o«lds a|;ain, with
yoo, sir William, and witli you. rir Tivy.

Sir U'li Not L, faitli; OaH'oflil has' too many
fuic women — he'JI never do it.

Da/. I'll tio into the country for a nreek, and
not a petticuat sliall come near me-r-I'll take the
odds attain.

Sir Tan. Done, Dafl«dil !

l/trd Jiac. You are to hop upon nne le^i witl^
out dmr^n^ mind timt— ^t it down, Spuioer.

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gakrick.

Soin. T barp— Slutll I rcskd it 7

/urt/ Hac. Silence iii the rourt.

Spin. [Rtadi.] — * Lord IWket lias bett«i) se-

* vvnty |MiaTKl<i to fiftj, with the houourablc

* Gcol-ge DuHudi), that the latter does not walk
«.* from 6ockingham-gB(c to the Bun-lKmse, Ht

' CSelsns cnt m bun itierc, run back to tbe turn-

* pike, and Cram tliciice bop upon one leg, with

* iIk- oiher tied to the cue af his wig, to Burk-

* iiigliain^atf i^nin, io an ttour hihI a half.*

Daf. 1 tay, dune !

Xt'rc/ Hac. And done I

Sir Hi/. Cuusidcr your women — jou'll ncrer
do it, George.

iV Not do it!— fHo/ii.]— \Vl.y, ni get a
Chcl!«a pensioner shall do u in an hour, with
his woodcu leg— —What day 5hall we fii for
it?

Si/ Xi'H. The fini of April, to be sure.

Ail. lla, ha, liB !

lAfrd Hue. Come, DaffiKiil, read the betls and
niatchn of lu-day — tlien let us tint»h our chaii>-
puieac, and |i;o t» the opera.

DaJ. [ReaJs.]—' Mnrcli 24, 1757, Sir Taiv-

* Tivy lias pitlrtT ladj I'ettitoc, aeainst dowaprr

* lady renniiikic, with sir Willinui SVhiaicr, lor
'five hundred pounds' I'll pit uiy uucle, lord
Chalkfttune, HKHin>t iheiu bvtb.

Sir Tun. Dune !

dMrd Hae, The odds are against you, Dnfibdtl
— Hiiy lord has got lo plain Nantr, now, every
morning.

Dntl And the ladies have been At it, to zoy
knowledct, this half year.

ZiOrd Ra€. Good »ji;ain, George !

Sir Wti. [/tearf*.}--' The Imnonrable Crorp*
' Daffodil hns betted one hundred pound?, wiili

* sir William VVhi»ter, that he produces a getitlt~
' man, before the fil'lli v( Jurte next, that sbali

* li^t- for fite days »ucccs&ivety, witlioul eating.
' drinking, or eleeping,' He must have no bouk^,
GcorfTc ?

Dqf. No, no ; the gentletmn I nKan, cao't
rctd.

Sir IVil. Tis not yourself, George !

Omnii. Ila, bu, ha ! 'tit impossible; it must
kill bim.

Daf. Wliy, then, Vi\ lose mjr bet.— [itrojii.]—

* l»rd ii«cki>t lias matdied ftir .It^blin Jolly, a-
' eninst major Calipasii, with sir Tttii-Tm, to nin
' fifty yards upon the Mall, after diuner; if citJicr

* tumbles the nn^cr is lost— for fifty pouodfc.'

Spin. I'll lay til'ty more, ocithcr of ihem run
the ground in half an hour.

Daf. Not in an hour I

Sir Tail. Dune, DaHudiJ ! Ill bet you tt bui>-
dred of thut.

Daf. Done, baronet * III double it, if you
will.

Sir Tan. Wuh all my heart— book it. Spin-
ner. [Spikncr vritci.

lard Jtte. Voull certainly lose, George.

Dqf. ImpoisiUe, my lord; nr Joslio u damn-
ably out of wind.

iAtrd Kac. W hat, asthmatic f

Daf. No, quite cured of hu uthnui — be died
yesterday morning— Bite.

L<//.] Bravo, George !

\.MrJ Rae. Now you talk of dyin^ bow docs
your cousin Diziy t

Daf. iingtn on, better and wone — Lrrcs
upon asses milk, Panada, and Krineo rooc

Lard RtK, You'll hare a wtnd-faU there,
George ; n good two thourand a-Ye«r.

Daf. 1'ia bctliT, my lord; but I love Dak
so we'll, and have lutd so many obhgationa to htm
— he saved my lire once — that 1 could wisli him
better health.

Sir Wii. Or in n better place ; tber«^ dtviliih
fine limber in &ianiil(in woods.

Sir Tan. Down with ihcin, DafTodi).

Jjord Rat. But let Dtzxv drop hnd; a htlle
blakt will fell htm.

Knter Diar.

Dir. Not so little as you maj iaMfloe,.

lord — Hu^h, liugh \Ct

All. Ha, ha, lia !

Diif. Aii|:d» and ministers I what, couud! Wq
were got among your trees.

Diz. You are heartily welcome to anjrmwof
thi'in, gcnllcmcn, for a proper piirpnar hwll.
hugh !

Ijord Rae. Well <aiH, Dick ! Uow quicfc fais
wit, apd liow youthful the rogue looks !

Dttf. Bloomy and plutnp^the countn air is ■
fine thing, my lord,

Dia. \V elf, well, be as jocular as you pleaK ;
I am not so ill as you may wish or iutagiM; I
CAM walk to Koightbbrit^^- \t\ an hour, for a btt-
, drcd pounds.

l^rd Rac. 1 bet you a hundred of that, Dtiljf

Daf. ni liiy you a hundred, Dick, thai I drnc
a BOW and pigs to your lodgings before you on
get tlitrc.

Di;. l>one, I say! [Drtsri Aupurw.j Dow!
Two hundred — done — three !

Lord Rac. I'll take Diz^ agaiost your v*
and pittH.

Sn Ft i7. I take t}ie field against Di^.

Lvi J Mac. Douv !

Spit. Done !

Diz. Damn y.qur sow and pig^ 1 I am M vti
willi the tlictighls of running witli thrm, dstl
sliall certainly fuinL [SmcUi to a bottk^] —
Hugh, hugh!

Duj. Cousin Dizzy can't bear tbe mcotM «
pofk.; he hates it— — 1 knew it would wwi.

[Aade to tk/r*'-

Dis. I wish you had not raeotioMd Or-\
can't slay — Dnmn your sow and pi^!— He*^
waiter, call a chnir^>Damx) your sow aod pipr"
hugli, tiugh ■ [Erit Dim-

GabbicvI

BRITISH DRAMA,

Di^. Poor Din; ! Whtt a pwnoa be is in !
Ha. K h> <

Lord Rac. The woofb are yours George ;
jou ma/ nrhet the axe ; Diizy -won't live a

DMWth.

Daf. Pooh, thii u nothing ; he mu always
wraltij.

Sir IVU. n*U a ^taiij misfortune, Daflixlil.

Enter Waiter.

Wait. Mr D'mv, gentltftaenr dnipped down at
the fruur-foot, and the cook has carried him be-
hind the bar.

Daf. \m.j him upon a bed, and he'll mme to
hinieir. {Rnt Waiter.

Ijtrd Kat. V\\ bet h(ty pound ihot he doo't
tire till nioniini;.

Sir WU. I'll laj six to four lie don't live a
week.

Dt^. Ill take vour fifljr pound.

SfUL I'll take your lorvlahip nenin.

ijord Hoc. Dnnp with you botli !

Sir Tin. Ill tmku it again.

hard Rac. Done, done, done ! but I bar tA\
MBiWiHca to bim ; not a physidaa or surgeon
NOC for, or 1 am off.

Ih^. No, do; we are upon houDnr. 'Iticre
dnil be nooe, else it would be a bubble bet —
There shall be none.

Sir WiL If I were my lord, now, the phyti-
I should attend him.

I

I

Enter Waiter, with a Utter.

Wait. A letter for his honour.
[Otoa If to UArrODtL, vho read* it to Aun-
sr//.

Sir WiL Daffmlil, remember the first of Aprit,
aad tec the wonwD aloae.

IXy* UpoD my tool you heTe hit it ! 'tis a
woOHUlf fiuth I Sofoethinit very particular; and if
y«a tn in iptrils for a odieme

Lord Aac Ay, ay ; come, como ; a scheme,
a ichePM I

Dn/' There, then, have ainung you !

[TArtHf I the letter upon the table.

idird Roc. [Rc«rf», fill looking un.] Hum
' If the liking vour perMin be a sin, what womun

'isaoc guilty r — hum, bum at the end of

' the Bin)<^age Walk — (ilK>iit seven — wlicre the
'darita— and pnvocy will befriend my blushes;
* I wijl CMdviBCe you what trust I have in your
' secrvcT axtd honour. Yours, ' Jncocmita.*

DaC WUtyuugo?

Ijw-d Roc. Whnt do you propose !

Da^, Til go — If after I have liecn with her
ittlf an hour, you'll come upon us, oud liavc a
blvw up.

Sir mi. There's a i^lant for you !

On/! PritlieCt sir WiUiam, be quiet ; must a
■OB be ill love with every womun that invites
lain*

SiT Wit No ; but be should be hoaoumble to

them, George, and rather conceal a woman's
woaknew, than expose it — I hate this work — so^
I'll go the coffee-house. [KziY Sir WiLLtAH,

Lord Rac. Ixt htm v> — tlo'i't nund him*
George; he's married, and past fifty — this wilt
be H tine frolic — dtrvilish high !

D/tf. Very ! — Well, I'll go and prepare my-
self; put on my surtijut, and take my chair to
Budciiij^ham-Gaie. I know Uic very spoL

Lord Rae. We'll come with fiombeaux; yoii'
mutt be surprised, and

Daf. 1 know what to do — HerCi waiter,
waiter!

£n(cr Waiter.

TIow does counn Dint f

Wait, (juitc n-cuvcred, sir. He is in the PIk»«'I
nix with two ladies, and has ordered a bculed
chicken and jellies.

Litrd Rar. There's a blood for you ! without a
dnkji in his veins.

Do('. Do you stay with him, then, tilt I have
secured my lady ; and in half an hour from tlus
time, come away, and bring Dinv with you.

Lord Rar. If hell leave tlie UuJies— Don't tl»«
Italian marquis dine with us to-murrow ?

Da/. ('eriRinly.

L<>rd Rac. Well, do you mind your busincMk
and I'll speak to the cook to shew his genius—
Allons! [Erit Daff.] Tom, bid llie cook attend
me tO'morrow nwming, on special oAiirs.

[Erit LoRo Haceet, &c.

id Wait. I shall, my lord.

Iif Watt. I'll lay you. Tom, five sixpences to
three, thnt my lord wins his bctt with his liouuur
Daffodil.

2J Wait. Done with you, Harry ; ni taka
your half-^:rown to eighteenpcnce

[Bell ringi mthin.

tit Wait. Coming, sir; I'll moke itshiihog^
Tom.

•2d Wait. No, Harnr', you're the best on't,
[Bell riitfit.] Coming, sir. I'll tnkc fivti sbilUnga
to two. [Bell rin^i.] Cuming, sir.

li* Wail. Coming, sir.- — -No, 6re to three.

Srf Half. Shillings? Coming, «r.

li/ HViir \o — .Sixpences

Sd Wait. And done. [Belt ringi.] Coming, sir.

[E^reumtm

Enter Arabem*, Mrs Damply, Laot Fan
PrwiT, Mrs Dotterei, Tcsslt in vomen't
etothct, and Sophia ia inraV

Ladiet. Ila, hn, ha !

Ara. Whnt a fiyurv ! and what a scheme !

Tiike. Dcnr ladies, be as merry wiUi my (igiiro

as you please ! Yet you shall sec, this bgiire,

aukward aA it is, shall be preferred in its turn,
as well as you hare been.

Sipp. Why will you give yourself this unnece^
sary trouble, Mr Tukcly, to convince these la-

222

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Garrice.

dies nlio hnd rather sliLl be deluded, end will
^ hoile voiir fricDdsliip for brenkbg cbe chanu f

AriL My dear ouusin, though you ure satisfied,
tbcKC ladies arc not ; aiid^ if tlicy have their imr-
ticular muoot for dieir inGdcliiv, pray, let them
enjoy itf 'till they have other proofs than yoar
prrjudices.

Stip, Ar, Bell, we \m\v all our prejudices.

T\ikf. U'lmt st^nifirs reosoningt witcu we are
going upf>n the experiment? Dispone of yourselves
bchitid thuse trcc», and I wilt rrnnir tu the place
of appoiutioeiit, and draw liiui nillier; but you
promise ta conLnin yuurwhets let what will tiap-
pCD. Hear, tuul <>eu; but be silent

[£ji(Tl'KELT.

$»/). A severe injunction, indeed, ladies — Hut
I Riubt to my post. [Exit Soi>.

Mr$ Damp. If he's a villoiu, I can never hcltl !

Lady few. 1 shall tear his eyes out !

Airt Dot. For my part, if I nns untnarried, I
ihuuld not think liim worth mv aoger.

Ara. Hut as you arc, madnui

Mrt Dot. I utidcr»tand your insinuations, Miss
Bell ; hut my character and conduct need nn ju»-
ti6cation.

Aru. I hep; pardon, mailain ; I intended no
oHr'nct:. — But ho&le ti> yuur posth, ladirx ; the
CDemr's at hand. [Tkey retirt behind the trtcs.

Enter TvizLv and DAFroi>ir,

lyike, [Jn a wowfla'i ww-e.J For lleaven's

sake, let UB be caotiotts ! 1 am sure I heard a

uoiie.

Dof. Twiis niithin^ but vour fenr, my aoj(cl !
— don't be alanncd 1 here can be no dan-
ger, while we hav^ love and diir^uesa to befriend
a*.

Tukf. Bless me, how my heurt beats ?

Dot'. Poor soul i what a frigjit it i» in !

You must not give -wns to t}ie»c alanos— ^Were
you as well convinced of aiv honour, aa I am of
your choniu, you would have iiothiag to fear —
[Sneezes her hand.

Ara. Upon my word !— fJxit/e.

Mrs Damp. So, so, so ! [AtiUf.

Tukr. Hold, sir; yon must take no liberties — -
But, if joM luiie the least fpelijig for an unhappy
wotnao. anted by her passion in this imprutient
»tcp, assist Die — forgiic me — let inv go.

D'{f. Cnii you doubt my honour? Can you
doubt my love t What assurances can I ^vo ytra
to abate yuur fcors I

Mrt Dot. Very slender ones, I con assure her.

[Asidr.

Tnkf. I deserve to sufltr all I feel For

what, but tlic most blinded passion, cnuld induce
me to declare myself ta one, wIiom; aiiiuunt and
iiifrdehtics arc the common topic uf ctitivtrea'
tiofl !

Dqf. Flattering creature! [v<«dr-] May I

never know your dear nan»e, see your charming
face, touch your soft luuid, or bear your (tweet

voice, if I am not mnro shieere in tny affection

lur thi« little finger, than for alt the sea hesades.

[The iadies teem astoniahed,

Tuke. Escapt die widow Damply.

Da/. She ! Do you know her, madam f

Tuke. I have not that honoar.

Da/. I thouj;hi so — Did yo'i never set her,
iiiii(Jnm, nodliii^ and ROfilinit la her old-fashincd
licavy chortut, drawuliT a pair of lean backncy
horses, with a fat blarkammir footman LeliiiMi,
in a H-nnty livery, red greasy slurkincx and a
dirty turban? [The widou §eeina duordrrtd.

Tuke. All which may be only a fuil lu ber
bciiuty. L'Sri^J

Di^f. Beauty ! don't >igh, madam ; ifae tt^^^|
furtv, wears a wic. and has lo»t Iww of berniV

tfotli. Aa<I, then, ^he has h> long ■ beard

upon her upper lip, atul takes so much Spaoid)
^niitT, tlmt ^c looks for idl ilic world, like (b*
(Jrvat Motiul iu petttcoala; ha, hu —

Mrt Damp. What falKhotK) and ingratitade .'

[Audt.

Tuke. Cuuld ] ileacend to the slander of cbe
tiiwn, there is a marrictl lady —

Dvf. Poor Mrs Dotterel, vou mcao?

.Vn Dot. Why, iini 1 to hr meiilinned I

1 hnru iiuthiag trj dtt-

Mrt Dump Nay> nay ; you must have ymi
iliare uf tlif pllne^rrir.

TnXf. She is yining, and has wii.

Du/. Nhc's an idiot, madam : and ns foob m
^rnemlly loving, ^lic hns forgot all her oblintiiiU
ro otil Mr I>utterel, who married her whmt t
petticoat ; and now seiies upon every yowg hi-
i'ln- ffhe ran lay her hands upon— «ho bn fpoiM
me three suits of clotlit-s, witJi tearing ibe llsfs
and «lceves. Ha, ha, haf

Mit Dot. Monster of iniquity !

Dttf. She Itns even stunned me in my oa*
housv; but, with all my faults, madatn, yonV
never find mc over-f>md of nft^ or UDorance:.

Mri Damp. I could tear hun to piccct !

AIrt Dot. I Kill tear him to pieces!

Ara. Be quiet, and well all tear him to piorev

Tuke. lie has swallowed the book, aod Ofi^
escape. [ABit-

jiiif. What do yoo say, madam t

Tuke. I am only •t^tnz, sir.

J Uif'. Fond creature ! [^iWr] I kbonr thiR
are n ibouaand stories about mc : You kat*
heani, ton, of l^y Fanny Pewit, I suppoM'
Don't be alarmed.

Tuke. I can't, help it, sir. Sbe i> n &M WCaMk
and a tvoman of quality.

Da/. A tine wunaui, perhaps, forawooMDo'
quality — but she is an absohue nld iwrid. naJH^
iilmmt a» tluLk us ihv. m lon^:— middtMfcA
liumtly, and wanton ! Tliat's licr character.

jMdjf Pew. Then, tliere is do RDCCtky in omo.

[Cm

Ara. Pontively, you ihan*t a£ir.

Do/* Upon my soul, I pity the poorcrealOt!

Gabbick.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

■ — -Sh« )» DOW Upon her loit legs. IT tihc does
oot run awaj nitb some foolisli ^tiUemnu tUW
winter, the'U return into tbc couutrf, aod marry
her I'ootman, ba, ha, ha !

La^ Pew. My foutuum shall break his boucs,
I ran telt him dial.

DaC Hush, madam ! [ protest Z tliought I
beard a roice — I wonder diey dou't comC-

[Aside.

Tuka. ^wtts only I, Mr DaiTodil— I was mur*
iDurioc to you. ['^Ax.

Dof! RrUy murmurer ! — 'End, if tbev dun't
come woo, ttu: lady will t;row fund. [Aiidf.

Tuk^. But among your conquests, Mr UulTo-
dil, yau (orsfit Miss Sophy Sprightly.

A^ And bcr cuu^D Arabelw.'-l wascoming
Co them ; poor, silly, good-naturedi lovin>; fools T
I made luy aildre»e& tu oite tUrough pique, and
the otiier lor pity : thnt was all.

Tkkc O, that 1 could believe you !

D<^ Drtti't be uneu^y ! I'll tell you how it was,
madam — You niusL know, there is a Killy, sett-
sufficient fellow, one Tnkcly — —

Tmkc So, sa — [Asidr.] — 1 know him a little.

Daf. I am sorry for il — live Ic^ you kuuw of
him. tlie better ; tbc fello'.* pretended to look
ficixe at me, for which 1 ruMitved to hurc bis
tDi*tj«ts ; So I threw in my lino, aitd without
iBttcfa trouble, hooked her. Ik-r ptxir cousin,
too, Qibbled at tbc bait, and was cnu^ht So I
have had my rerenf^e upon Tukdy, uud now I
shall wttlio^ly rraiga pour Suphv, and throw hiiu
in her cousin, for a makc-»ei|'fit, hn, lin, ha !

Lady Fev. This is ytiiiu tomfurt, at Itjast.

Am. Your ladysliip ts better rliaii \ou was.

[Avitf without.

TuJu, r V.JW. I hear a noise, — What shall we
duf It comes this way.

D'lK They can't sec us, my dear. — I wish my
friends would come. [Aiide.] Don't whisper, or
braaibe.

Enter Sopvia, in a turlotit, and iUju<hcd hat.

Sop. If I could but catdi Iter at her pranks —
■be certainly mii»t be this way — for the chair is
wauinfT at the cod of Kouunond'.'r pond— 1 have
Cbrowu one of bcr chairmt-u into it — and, if I
could but catch her —

Tnkc. O, UT ! mv passion has undone me — I
Uo discovered; it is ray husband, ur George,
■mI be is loolufif for mc !

Off/*. The dcvd it is ! Why, dicn, inHdam, the
best wav will be for you to go to him — and let
me eoeaK ofT ttie other wav.

Tmke. Go to him, sir ! What can I say to him?

Di^K Any thin^, madam — Say you hod the
vapours, and wanted air.

Tkkr. l»rd, sir ! he is tbe most passionate
nf mottals; and I am afraid he is in liquor,
t4o; ami, tlien, lie is mad !

Sop. l( I could but catch her—

[ Looking about.

Dttf, For yoor saVe, madnm, III make iIm
best of my way home [Going.

Take, What ! would you leave mc to the fury
of an enraged husband I — Is that your nlfneti-in *

[Hold* fum.

&ip. If I conld but catd) her — lin I whni's

that r I saw something move in the dark ttie

point nf my swnrd shall tickle it out, whatever it
IS. [Draws, and gotM loteertU themu

Titke. For Heaven's sake draw, and tight htm,
while I make my escape !

i.)a/* Fight liim ! 'twoobi be oownrdly to f>ght
in the dark, and with a drunken man — I'll i:aJl
the sentry.

T'uke. And exp-se us to ilic world ?

Da/. I Yfould to Hcu^ en we were ! [Aude,
He comet forward.] Let me go, madum ; you pinch
me (u ilw tfonf.

Tukt. lie won't Limiw us — I have lay mask
on.

Ladiri. Ha, ha, ha !

Sair. Wliat, i:%tiic devil and bis impA playinf! at i
blind man's bntl'? Ay, ay; hero be is, indeed ; Sa-
tan himself, dressed like n line gentleman — C'nme,
Mr Devil, out witli your pitchfork, and let ua
take a thrust or two.

Da/. You mitttake mo. Mr, I am not tbe pri^
son; lodeed, 1 am not; 1 know notliiitg of your
wife, sir George; and if ynu know how hitlcl
care for the whole gcx, you would not be so fiH
ni)u» with nn innocent mau.

Sop. Who are you, then? And what are t'ou

doin^ with that blnckamoor lady there ilan-

citt^ 0 sarabond with a pair uf autancts? .Spcnk,
sir !

Dm/. Vaty forbear, sir ; here** company crrniinj;
fhat will siilist'y you in every tliinj — Hallo, hallo —
Here, linre, lierc IfHaUot faintly.^ my lord, my
lord I— Spinoer^Diny — llallo !

EHter Lorn Racket, Sir Tamivt, Spinsbii,
niul Dizzy, with torcket.

Lord Roe. What's the matter here ?— Wbo

cntis t'ur help?

Du/. [ Runniit/! to than s-i/A his twdrd drotra.]
O, my friend!:, 1 biiie been wisliing for you this
half boor \ I have been set upon by a dozen fel-
lows— They have all made their escape, but this
— .My turn is quite dead — I have been at cart
and tieroe with tliem all, for near a quarter of aa
hour.

Sop. In buckram, my lord ! — He was got with
my property here, and I n-ould have diastised
him for it, if your coming hod not pre\'ented it.

Da/. Let us throw the rascal into Rosamond'a
piind.

Lord Rac. Come sir, can you swim i

[AU going up. TuKr.i.r snatchei So-
phia's ncard, and the runs bfhind
him.

Tukc. Ill dcfcAd you, mj deitr I^Wbat, would

«&4

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gareick.

Ton murder • nmni and lie with his wife, too? —
Ob ! joa are a wicked gentleniab, Mr Dafiudil,
[Attacks Daffodil.

Da/. Whjt the devil's in the woman, I think !
[AH the Ittiiifs aitvanct from behind.

Ijidiet. Ha, ha, ha! jrour bumble servant, Mr
DnHbdU — ho, hn, ha ! [Curtsying.

Vaf. This U all endiantitient !

Lady Pew. Nn, sir, the enchantiucDt is broke ;
and die old maid, sir, homely nnd wnnton, befitro
fthc retires into thr cuiinlrjr, Iku the ^Ati&tnctiotl
of knowing that tin: agreeublt: Mr UulltKlil is u
much more cootcniptible mortal, ihoii the t'uot*
man which hi^ goodness bag been pleased to mar-
r> Iter In.

Ijtdiet. lla, ha, ha !

%in Damp. Would Mr DnftLHlil pleiue to hnvt-
a pinch of Spanish snutf out of the ^rciit iitogur&
box ? Tu tne best thti^ in the world tnr Iom
ijitrits. [Offeif her bw.

Jjidi^i. Hn, ha, ha !

Jfn l>i>t. If a fool may not be nennittcd Co
speak, Mr Daffodil, let her at lca;it he permitted
to lmi4(b at so Hnc a (iicnllcman — lln. hn, hn !

Ara. Were you as scoMble of shntitc, a? you
are of fear, the sii;ht nf ipe, whom vou lorcd for
pity, would be revcnm; »uflicient — IJut I am for-
^vc your baseness to me, much easier than I
can myself, for my behaviour to this happ)
coil pi p.

Ihtf. WIw> ilic deril are they ?

Ara. The nmrquis and murchioDess of Maca-
rmti, ladies — lla, nn, Im !

Sm. lla! Mio Corrissma Amico, il agninr
Daffodillo \

liaf. Uuw \ Tukely and Sopliia ! — If I don't
wake soon, 1 shall wi&h never to wdcc agaiu .'

Spb. Who bid) fairest now for Biuanumd'i
poodf

Lord Rac. Wliat, in the name of wonder, it
all thiik business ? I don't understand it.

J)it. Nor I neither: but 'tis vary dmie, fiuth'.

Tuke. The mystery will clear m a rannicot.

D(i/'. X>on't giTc yourself any trouUe, Mr
TukuEy; things are pretty clear as they ar»—
The nimbi's cool, aiiu my cousin Dtzxy, here, ts
an invalid — If you please, anotliCT time, wbm
there is Icm conipnay. — [Lodict iaufih.) — The In-
dies arc plenied to be nterry, and you are pleased
to he H htilc nosxy ; and so, for tlie sake of tr■l^
quillily — I'll go w tlu; Opera.

[D*rrooiL nraktaat by de^rra.

Lord Rac This Is a Ime binw-up, indeed !—
Indies, your humble servant — Hallo ! DaSodii.

[Ent.

Viz. rit lay you ■ handrcd, that mr cmtni
neifer intritfues again — Geoi^* ! George : Doo't
run— hugh, hnch [EriL

Tuke. As my sadsfaction is complete, I hue
noue to a«i of .Mr DiflbdiL I for^velus beha-
viour to ine, as it has hastened nnd confirmed my
happiness Jiere. [ToSophu.]— But as a friend
to you, ladies, I shall in<>i»t upon his making yoa
ample sati-ifaclion ; Howcvrr, tJiij benefit will
arise, that >-ou will hereafter ei|tiallY detest and
shun these destroyer) of your reputation.

In you coquettry it ■ Ion of fame ;
But, in our sex, 'lis that detested nunr,
'Diat marks the want nf tpauliood, virtue, tenie
and shame.

[Ettunt otMA

THE

UPHOLSTERER.

DIi.\MATI» PERSONM:

u

MEN.

Qcinsrxc, tAf unfiahterfr.
pAHVSLrr. Q /mcknry Kribhlrr.
ILllOa, a btrtuT, cra:j/ nitS politict,
SlXVOtrn, in /mr uith lUitltlCT.

Fri:»r r, umek to Harriet.

Biiti,. WTTant to Belmdi'r.
Ctotctl^ ■ tamyrr.

WOMKV.

IIarrift, (iayghter to QL-ip^ustC*
TruMAOANT, ker miud.
Maid to FcKBLC

SeoM — London.

ACT t

SCENE t.— Bu.icoub's toH^ng.

Eater Bti not R, heating Biii»K.

Britk, Mr Beliuour ! — Let me flic, sii
ioM to be MTf d, w-

BeL bimh! RiigiM! Vilkin !— I'll teacli you,
I •iti, you rmtcai I to apeak irreverently of her J
luvaf

Bn»k. Am I iim « fiiirwr, sir, I nnlt inevnF^—

Bd, iJuiif incant! Vuu cnulci u»i mciffi it,
flrkmnwtm jou twd nu iiiciuiiiik, Ixiubv-

Bnai, Wh'jr. uo, iif— ibat'i the very Uiuif^ tir
--J bud no meaiiiiit;.

Aei Thoi. limiht IH make yoii know jour
■tmiM liar ifa« fncur*.

Bruk. Yes. tar — to be sure, ur and ve>

^fOB mi MToni, if jkhi woald be btii a little cool,
B^iott'd ted 1*IB ux laadi lu blanir. Bc«Mlca«

Vol. nx.

maiiter, too can't conceive die gXM>d it woald do
«our boalth, if yua wiU but keep jrour lemper m
liufc.

beL Miebty well, sir, pvc jtmt adviee !

Bfuk. Why, really, now, this ume love hath me-
tamorplKMod u» b«th vury stranudy, nuuter : for,
tft be free, hetff have we been at this work Cbata
MX weeks, «tark-5tariiif!; mad in love witii a oouplk
ur ba0t«ftr* not wtirth a eroat : and yet, Uiaven
betp us ! they have lui much pride as comet CO
liie share of n lady of quality, before she has been
cuuxht in the fact with a haodsome joaag, fetbw,
or indeed after »be hiu beea caught^ for that
matter

HfL YoQ won't have ikioe, nwcat 1

Hfuk. In fihort, my young mistress and ber
mAid h»*e u much priilF- and poTCrty a» — a*—
iw oiaturr witat ; ihey have the det il and allr—
t F

se6

BRITISH DRAMA.

CMUIPHT.

when, at the same time, every body knows the
old broken upholsterer. Miss Harriet's father,
might give us alt he has in the world, aod not
cat the worse pudding on a Sunday for it.

Be/. Impious, execrable atheist ! What, de-
tract from Heaven i V\\ reform your notions, I
will, you saucy [Be^U him.

Brisk, Nay, but my dear sir — a litue patience
—not so hard

Enter RovEWELt.

Rote. Belmoar, your servant — What, at \og-
gerheads with my old friend Brisk ?

BeL Confusion \ — Mr Rovewell, your servant
——this is your doing, haog-di^ !— Jack Hovewell,
I am glad to see thee

Rove. Brisk used to a good servant — he has
not been tampering with any of his master's ^rls,
has be?

Bel. Do you know, Rnvcwell, that he has had
the impudence to talk dctractingly and profane-
ly of mv mistress ?— —

Britk. For which, sir, I have suffered inhu-
manly, and most unchristian-like, I uwure you.

BeL Will you leave prating, booby f

Rave. Well, but Bclmour, where does she
live? I am but just arrived, you know, and I'll
go and beat up her quarters.

Bel. [Half atidci\ Beat up her quarters !

\_LoQki at him tmilingly, then half aside.

Favours to none, to all she smiles extends;
Oft she rejects, but never once offends.

[Stands musing.

Rave. Hey ! what, fallen into a reverie ? Pri-
thee, Brisk, what does all this mean i

Brisk. Why, sir, you must know 1 am over

bead and cars in love.

Rove. But I mean your master; what ails
hiDiF

Brisk. That's the very thing I am going to tell
Tou, sir — As I said, sir — I am over head and ears
in love with a whimsical queer kind of a piece
here in the neighbourhooci; and so nothing can
serve my master, but he must full in love with

tbc mistress. Look at him now, sir

[Belmour continues musing and mutter-
ing to himself.]

Rove. Ha, ha, ha ! Poor Belmour, I pity thee,
with all my heart ■

[Strikes Aim on the shoulder.

Ye gods, annihilate both space and time,
And make two lovers happy.

BeL My dear Rovewell, such a fijrl ! Ten
thousand cupids play about her mouth, you
rogue!

Rove. Ten thousand pounds had better play
alMmt ber pockcL What fortune has she ?

Brisk. Heaven help us^ not mncfa to crick
of.

BeL Not much to crack of, Mr Brazen I Pri-
the. Rovewell, how can yon be lo ungenerous as
to ask such a question ? You know I don't mind
fortune ; though, by the way die has an uncle,
who is determined to settle very handsomely up-
on her, and on the strength of that does she give
heritelf innumerable airs.

Rove. Fortune not to be minded! FIl tell
you what, Bclmour, though yon have a good one
already, there's no kind of inconvenience in a
little more. I am sure if I had not minded for-
tune, I might have been in Jamaica still, not
w»rdiasiigar>cane; but the widow Holosaei took
a fancy to me — Heaven, or a worse destiny, has
taken a fancy to her ; and so, after ten years ex-
ile, and bring turned a-drift by my finiher, here
am I again, a warm planter, and a widower,
most woefully tired of matrimony. But, my
dear Belmour, we were both so overjoyed to
meet one another yesterday evening, jast as I
arrived in town, that I did not hear a sylhUile
from you of your love-fit. How^ when, and
where, did this happen I

BeL Oh, by the most fortunate mccideat that
ever was — I'll tell thee, Rovewell — J was gobg
one night from the tdVem about six weeks ago —
I had been there with a parcel of blades, whnse
only )oy is centered in their bottle; and faith,
till this accident, I was no better myself —hot
ever since, I am grown quite a new man.

Rove. Ay, a new mnn, indeed '. Who, in tlie
name of wonder, would take tliec, sank as thoi
art, into a musine, moping, melancholy kwer,
fur the gny Charles Belmour, whom I knew ut
the West Indies?

Bit. Puh ! that is not to be mentioned. Yon
know my father took me against my will fros
the university, and consigned me over to the act*
deinic discipline of a man of war ; to that, U
prevent a dejection of spirits, I was obUticd to
run into the opposite extreme — as you yoondf
were won't to do.

Rove. Why, yes; I had my moments of iv-
fleciion, and was glnd to dissipate tliem. Yoo
know I alwavs told you there was sometbinKn*
traordinarv in my story ; and so there is stilL I
suppose it must be cleared up in a few days dd*
— I am in no hurry about it, though : I must see d*
town B little this evening, »nd Iiave my (t^
Brst. But to the point, Belmour — you waig^
ing from the tavern, vou say ?

BeL Yes sir, about two in the momint: tti
I perceived an unusual blaze in the wir-~l *■* <
In a rambling humQur, and so resolved to kao"
what it was.

Brisk. I and my master went together, NT-
Be/. Oh, Itmewell! my better stars ordHMd
it to licht tnc on to happiness. By sure attrac-
tion led, I rame to the very street where a boM
was OD fire; water-engines playing ftames ih

MURPBT.]

I

c« Ttding, al) bnrry, cnnfusion, Dnd (jistreu ! wbl^n,
oo a fiiildpn, ihr voirr nf despair, stiver swwl,
mine Uinlliug down to my %"t'ry hearL ' Pui>r,
de*tr» Ijtiltf soul, «bat can tshe do!' cried tlu'
nci!;hbour«. Agnin «he fcrcanifd ; tlio fire pa-
llicring force, and piinin^ upon her cvcrv in-
*tut\t. Iti'rc, iindnin, wid 1, leap into inv armfe,
I'll be sure to reci'ivc yon. Aod uould tiid
think It? down s}k cainc — my dear Horfncll,
*iucli ft Ki''' ! 1 caui^lit her in my anii^, you rut'tic,
t«fc, withriut bsnn. The dear naked V\-nuN jti^-t

n»en from her bed, my boy licr slender

wai^t, Rovewt'U, the downy smoothness ni' lier
nbolc prrsiiii, and Iirr liiTih«, liamiunious swel-
line by tia(ure\ **>fte*t hwid !

ffmv. Haptiires ntidpiinidise! Wiat seraglio
in Covcitt Gnnlcn did ynu curry her In?

B<L T\wtc ntniii, now ! Do, prithee, eorrecl
^MT wqy of thiiikinz; take a qimntiim »u()ktt
'ilf Ttrtnotis jtnf, nt«| purify yf.trr itle-.i">. Ilcr
Inwly brt^bluliic**, her drhcnic fears, ht-r hoau-
ly, Kri:;htPoed and endeared hv rtiitre-i's disner-
setl my wildest tli'iughtn, nud incited itw lulu
tcndemcvii and respect.

Hove. Butt Itcluinur, surely she has not the
impudenrc to be mtxIcAt aftvr you biivc had p(t»-
jcmon of Her person ?

fitt. My »irivs are honoiimble, I iw^urc yr.ii,
Mr; but her father is mj abnurdlv p<iMti»c. Tin:
nan is diMmctcd ntmui the balnnce uf power,
■sd will >;ive hi? daughter to twtie btit n poMti-
OMt. When there vrjis an execution iti hiii
house, h<-- dtonght if iiothinic, hut the rnuip nt
Pyma; and nuw he's Imiiknint, liis hcnd rutif
up»n the way* and means ami stiicmrs for pny-
ui|[ uif the natiofuil debt: the ulfAirs of Europe
qtfroai all hia attention, while the distrcsse* of
hn lovely diiushter pnsK uniiotieed.

Riivr. KidindotK tiimR;li ! But wliv do you
■kiwi hiin ! Why don't you i;o to bed to the
HI once ! Take her into kccpint;,

ftf/. n<>w mn you Inik so ailrontiiislT of her ?
Hate not I lold t<'ii, ihuiiph her fntlirr is ruined,
vtilj sbe lios gfcut cipcctnncies fruui a hrli re-
latent

Ravt. ITien, what do you stand waterine at
the mouth fi-ir? If she in to have inoncv enough
I fiir her chinn, lier carainjE debt*, )\vr d'*ff?,
Bonkryu, inarTv her, then, if you needs
rraiiMired : be in n foul's paradise (Vir a
ftuoey-moon; then, oho* to yourself, wonder at
what viKi htiTc done, and mix with hoiieM fellows
arain : Carry her nlT, I say, ood never stand
wbining for the fitther's ranMrnt.

Hei. y«rrr her off! I Lkc the scheme— Will
you asfrist me *

Rave. No oo; there I beg to be excused.

Don't you mncmber what the uityriit sny^i —
' • N«ycr marry while there's * halier to U* liad
[* far OBoncTt or a brid^ tu afford a convenient

Bei. Prithee leave fooling.
Horr. I am in sc-rioii^ earnest, I aMiire you.
I'll dniik with you, ;^ie with you, 50 into any
scHtine '>r fndic widi vou ; but *w«rc matrimonv!
Nay, if j'tu rome to the tnveni lhi*< evening, I'll
di'iuk ywr intstress's hcnith in u humper; but as
to your cnnjuttal scheme, FH have nothing to do
witS that bti&ineu, positively.

Hft. Well, well, ni take you at your woni,
and meet you at ten exactly, at the sfiiiie place
wc were at lu.st in^ht; then and there I'll let
Y'>ii know what further niCR9ure» I luive cnn-
ccried.

Hare. Till then, rarcwell ; «-pn>p«» — do you
know that I have seen none of my rtlatioiift jot^
iJt7. Time enoi«;h ti>.mcirn)w.
Ravf. Ay, ay, to-intimiw will do — Well, your
servant.

Rei. Rovcwell, youri. [JBti/.] Sec the gen-
tleman ilown tititirA— nnd dye hear? eotne tome
in oiy study, that I may civc you a letter m Htur-
ncL .\nd hark'e, sir— he sure you sec l!nrriet
her>elf; and let me bive no measairs from that
offii iouB {.'o-ttctween, tier mistress Sitpsinn of a
niiiid, with her unintelligible jarsnn ot hard
words, nf whieh she neithtr knuw>* the rnenning
nor pronunciali-jii. [E.tit BnrsK.l I'll write lo
her this iiionn-iit, acquaint her with the soft tu-
mult uf Miy desirei, aud, if |H>nible, umkc her
mmc own Uiis very nighL

[ Erit repeating.

* I-nrp fiDf tniizht letters for same wretch's aid,
Some I>aiii9hc>d lover, or Mine captirc maid.'

SCENE II.— The VphoitUrtrs kouae.
Enter IIabriet anJTECMAOAiiiT.

Tcr. Well, but, madam, he has made love lo
you six ivecka succeMively ; he ha» been as con-
stunt in his moors, poor t^enilvman, ns if you had
the subversion of 'state to settle upon bini — and
tf he slips through your lincrcrs now, madam, you
have Dohoily to depute it but to yourself

Hnr. LapI, TenTiai;»nt, how you run on t I
tell you n^in and again, my pride was toadied,
because he seemed to presume on his opulence
and my fallH'r'« distresses,

Ttr. 1.3, ■\!i«s llarrH-i, how can you he *o p«-
radmpsicnl in v.mr 'pinions?

Har. Well, bnt you know, thoI^•h my father's
atTiirs arv ruiued, 1 am not in mj desperate a
tvnv; consider mv unrlcV fortune is tin trifle^
and I think timl prospei-t <^imtles inc to j^ive my-
self a few airs, before I te^iu'ri mv pervMi.

Tfr. I emnt ye, niadnin. you have very
Cood prc(cn<>ion« ; bnt then, it's wnitini fur dead
men's sl^fca : \% venture to he perjured Mr
Dellmotir ikcver disclaimer! an tdcar of your fa<
ther'i distress.

Har. Supposing dtat ?

2)dS

BRITISH DRAMA.

[MuBPHY.

Ter. SappoM, nudun — I kaow itdiipuubly
to be so.

i/u>. lodisputAblj, I cucw you moan; but
I'm Lircd of wrniif^Uii^ witli you abiiut words.

Ter. Bv my irutli, you arc iii the rinht on't —
tHereS i)cVr u s\w in ul Old England Tas vour fa-
ther culls itj is mistress of such pliihtulug;}-, tu [
am. liiccruiin I am. as how you don Dot know
nobody that puts their words toirclher wilii such
a curai'y a& myarlf. I orwc lived with a niibttiH,
uistdam — Klisius \ She was a lady — a ereat brew-
er's ^ife — and &he wore as tine clothes at^ any
pt'non of quality, let her get up hs early as she
«ill — and »hc used tu call mc— Tormn^antf says
•lie— uhat is the f^rilicatjon of nich a word —
and I nlwnys (old m-r — 1 tuM Iwr the importa-
tiitn of oJI my vrordb; though I could not help
laughing, Mas Ilnrriet, to see so 6iie a lady
Budi a dowori^ht ignornrous.

Mar. Well — hot uruy n'>w, Tcmioifaut. ««oidd
you liiiTc nic, directly u^ua beinf: u^l.rd (he ques-
tion, throM invM^lf into ihr nniK^ of a man ^

'J'rr. O' my cons-oenrc you did ihrow your*clt
into ht& arms, with scarce a »luft on ; that's Mliai
you did.

Bar. Yes; bjt that wn« a letip in titc dark,
vhen thrrc was no time lo thmk ol' it.

7>r. NVtII, it dues not signify ar^tuiiitf. I with
V* were both warm in bed; you uiih Mt iJel-
mour, aiid I with his ooiconib of a man ; in«ieiid
of bein^ uwDUred here with an old crazy fool —
Dxing your purduii, uiudaiu, fur calling your t'ti-
tber fto — but he ie a fool, and tlte wur«t of foots,
with his pohcies — wbco liis houK is full of »ita-
lue* of bangtrcssy,

Har. Tis ttxi true, Tffmm;a»t yet he's

my fullier Biill, and I CAn'thcl[j hnini; him.

71t. I-'iddlr fnddlc — lo»« him ! Uc'b au aacr-
dote n^inst lore.

Har. HiiBh ! hnre lie comes !

Ter. No, 'lis your unde, Feeble : poor gentle-
man, I pities him, eaten up with inhnimnc*, to
to be taking such pains witli a madutau.

Enter FBEftLE.
tMar. Well, undo, luvc you been able to con-

Ffrt. Ke wanrs no consolation, child — I^u-k-
K-day — I'm so inhrm I cnn hardly m»\('. — I
found faira tracing in the map priucc (.'harlr^
lAtruinc's pnMOKe over (be lUune* aud couipur-
ijig it with Julius (.'«?«r'«.

Ttr. An old blockhi^ad ! — I've no palience widi
him, with his rclluHr.>i cuminf: alter hun e^ery
hour in the day widi news. Well now, ! wtkhes
tliere wbk no i,urh thing a*> a nim*iiH|>er in the
world, with such a pack of lies, and such a deal
of jub-iab every day.

Feeh. Ay, there were three or four nlabliy
fellows with him when 1 went into his room — 1
4:itn't get hitn to think of ap|)«ahDg b«furc the

UMU

commuaiooen to-morrow, to disclose his eflitcta;
but I'll send my neiddMiur, cuuitsellur Codicil, to
him — Don't lie dejected. Harriet ; oiy poor
si>ter, your ihdiIht, was a ei^»d wuniait : 1 lore
vou fur her sake, ctuld, and all 1 am worth sbaU
be youri — But I mii>t be itoin^ — I find ra;^
but very ill; good ni^tit, Harriet, ^ntui nipht.

[Kni Ker.i

Hflr. You'll give me leave to *ee you to the
door, itir. [Ksit fLsBaiKT.

Ter. O* my conMneiR'e, this muster of nttne
williia here mijc;ht )iavc picked up his crumbs as
well as Mr Fe^^le, if ht- hud any idcar of bia
business. I'm sure, if I had uut hopes frota Mt
Feeble, 1 should not inrry in this bouse — Bv my
troth, if ull wlm have uothin;c tu my to the fairs
o( the nation would muid iheir owu buiineav
and ih»se who ehrmid tMke care of our 'lairs
would mind their huoiiMM too, 1 liuicy poor Uid
Ij^hiiid (a» tltey mil ttj would fitrc tlic bvttBT
am -us thcMi — Ihi^t old trury paie within li
|)lu villi! >he tool — when the man n past his
clyteumcsiGr. [luwU Texuac,

SCF.NR III.— P»VmYr«Q»'lDHPSC at a tabU,
With Jtevtjtnpers, pamphittt, *r. att around
him.

Quid. Six and three is miie— ««ven and fotir
is ek-ven. and carry one — let me see, 136 iiiilluin
— luO lliou<uul :I98 — aw) all ihik tttih about —
where, «hert''s the nmounl n|' (be specie? llere,
here — with uboot 15 mdliiHi in >pc' ie, nil ihu
great drculnlion ! uuod, c^Mid — Why lhel^ huw
are we ruiut:d? tion arc ^e njiiicd ? Wliat uiti
the land-lav at 4 shillini:^ m the p<>atid ^ twti
iiij|[iiiii: now n here's my new iuM.i»ii;nit t — lien
— litre — the 5tli port uJ irtciily ; 6 m V. I caa'ti
but 5 ill 20 [I'aufri.] rinhu 4 ttiius — why thri^
upon my iteM assessment tlKTe*<t 4 tuillimi — buM
are we ruined?— Whut iay^ utalt. cyder. iimI
mum '— tleven and carry I, nought and go S —
ftood, fiiMKl; niidt, hops, cyder, Hiid luum, TUv
ttiere's the wine-licence ; nnd the |!U)-at:t i> m
bad artiUr — ifihv people will slutot tire dmrB
their Uirodis, why, in a(.'hri^ttan country, Acj
«hi>iild pay as much lu po»sihle for ^uiriTle !«Jt,
RiHjd — suicar, verv povl — Wind«>w-tj^ht» — g'Wd
n|!uiu ! — Stiiinp-tluty, llmt's itut so well — il (nil
ha%-e a bad eilect upon the new^papcrN a>wl **
shan't have riioKuh of pnliluf- — ttut theri's llis
lottery— w here's ui> new •xticriie ti>r a lolicij'
— here it 18 — Now f^tr the amount of the trim
— bow are we nnnrd? 7 tad cmrry nnu^ki^
lM>ugbt and otrry 1

Enter TtVLUiti Art.

Tfr. Sir, sir

Quiti. liuld yriur trm^eue. you tufftiy I jwll
put me out — Nought mid carry 1.

Trr. Counsellor Cutlicjl wilJ be «itli jou f*
seotly—

Mdrphy.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

I

[

Quid, prithee be qaiet, womaD- ■ -How are
ire niinrd f

Ter. Ay, Vm confirious mn how jrou may thiuik
jouneli* for viiur rmn ruination.

Qui^ Ruin the natiiin ! hold ymir tnninip.

you jade ! I'm nusiuf the Mipf^ies within the year
— - How many did I carnr ?

7Vr. YcSr yoa've carried your pigs to a fine
markeL

Qwid. Get o«t of the rootHf huny — you trol-
lop, gee o«t of the room ! —

\Tuming htr out.

Xmtir RAZOBt ttitk tudi on Am head, tfc.

FrioQd Razor, I'm gtod to aec thee — Well, ha»i
gat auj news ?

Rmx. A budijet ! I leU a eentlrmnn hnlf-shav-
ed in my shop over the wiky; it came into mv
bead ufa »iiodcu, so I culd not beat cue till
1 told you. —

Quid'. I'lmt'* kind, that'll kind, friend Razor —
oevrr mind the eeiilleinao ; he can wait.

Jttu. Yes, so he c&n ; he can waiL

Qnid. Come, now let's hear, whai is't f

Ha:- 1 Blia\E>il a gniut man's butler to*day. —

Qitui. Did ye?

Ras. I did.

(Uni. Awi

Kat. Very true. [Both i/mke thtir ieadi.

Quid. \\'hat did de say }

Ha:. Nothin|[.

Quid. Iluin— Hun did be took?

Jiaur. Full of tliought. '*■

Q»id. Aye ! lull of ihouKlit— what can that

KmM. It iBost meoDsomethini;.

[Staring at rarh other.

Quid. Mayhap somebody inny he going out uf
place?

K^z. like ctxiugh — there's anniething at the
fadltom wbea a great mau't butler louk^ [:rave ;
duan cwi't ht^d out in this manner. Aliutcr
Quidnuuc ! — Kingdoms rise and tall ! — Luxury
wiU be tiie ruin of us nil ; it mil iud<<ed !

[Start^at him.

QflU. Pray, now, frictnd Rarnr. do yiu fmd
hiMiririi as curreni now oi befi>rr tln' war ?

Ras- No, no ; t tiavc nnt made a wit: the Ijortl
know* when ; 1 can't uiiud it fur thmkiug of my
poor country.

Qm»i. That's iteiwnras, frtrod Razor.

U*!. Yea, I can't ip' my miml in any ihine fur
ikULiim of iny eountn' ; and when 1 iras in lieii-
hma, it waa ilw mme' I could think nf nnthin|[
dse tit Beittam, but puor uld Filmland, and m
ihty said as how I wm mcumhle for it.

Quid. 5'bodikinsl they might as well say tlie
■flM ol' me.

Msi. So they miftht — Well, your servant, Mr
QaidiSMnc. I'll p> now and shn\-e ihc mt of the
(mJcman't face — Poor ntd Kuciand !

{,^4,'A4 and ihahtf hu hivd. Going.

Qyid. But hnrit re, friend Razor, ask the geo-
tlcmnn if he has pirt any news ?

Kaz. I will, 1 will.

Qutd. Aud, d'ye hear, come aod tell me, if he
luui.

Ras. I will, I will — poor old Kneland ! [Goinf;,
retttrnt.] — O. iMr Quidnunc, 1 want to nsk yjti—
pray now —

iTrifer Tt:nHAr>aNT.

Ter. Gemini ! ceinini ! Dow ran a man havs
*o linle dilfprence tor his cuntuniers —

Quut, I telly u, Mr* Mnlnp<-rt

Ter. And I tell you, the icentlt'inan keeps such
N liawline vonder — for shuuit, Mr Karnr ! you'll
he a t>Hiilin>pper like luy nuuier, wiih Mich a
Ihhim; full of vhildrrn m> you have, pretty little
chines — that's what you will.

Rat I'm a-cnmii>)C, rma-comiiic MntTerma-
eaiit — I !say, Mr Quidiiiiur, 1 CHti^t sleep in my
bed for thmkintt wlmt will come of the proiest*
anis, if the patptt»ts shuukl gel the Iwtter ia the
prcM-nt war —

Quid. I'll tetl voii— ihc eeoemfiher of onr cof-
fee-house wn& snvii][! the other day, that there if
an hu^ tract of land ubout the pole, where the
protestants may retire; and that the mpiHts «ill
never be able to beat them tlirnce. if tne nurthrm
powert hold l<>i;elher, nnil the Gmnd Turk make •
diverejou it) Uit-ir favour.

Rax. [Latifiht.] Tliat makes me easy Pra

Kind the proti-Muiils will know where to Kf>. if
tiie papists slmuld Let the lictter. [GcfjC. n>-
luntM,] Oh! Mrtjuidnuuc, lurk ye ! India bunds
arc ntrn.

Quid. Are ihry! how mudi?

Rat. A Jew pedlar said in my shop, u hoi*
thev are riAon three itixieuilhs

C2M4rf. VMiv, ihrn, that makes aome amenda for
the price of corn,

Ras. So It does so i' doe*-^— Good-hre. Mr
Quidnunc — I'm so ftlad the pi Kir pfote*i«nt» know
wrlicre to go; 1 shall then have a nifiht'it rest
inflvhnp. [£rit R^r^a, laughing.

Quid. I ^hall ttCTpr be ni;htly easy till those
can-eiiinj; wharf* at Gihridtar arc repaired—

Ter. Fiddk- fur your dwarfs ! impair your
ruined fortune, do that.

Quid. If oolv (Nie ship can heave down ac a
time, tlierc will be no end of it — and then, wbj
should watering he so tedious there?

Ter. Ijuok whrre yuur daunhter comes, and
yet you'll bo luinatiii^ about Give-a-haltcr
while tliat puor thing is breaking her heart.

Enter UAKKltt.

Qnid. It is one comfort, hnwerer, they can
alwnvs hnvc fresh pravisions in the Mediterra-
nean.

Har. Ucar papa, what's the Mediterrancaa tm
people in our situation t

■

ft30

BRITISH DRAMA.

[MUBPHV.

Quid. The Mediterranean, cltild? Whv, if
we should lose Uic Medtterraaeuir we're nl) un-
done.

Har. Denr »ir, that's our tnisfortunc — we arc
undone alrtad^f.

Quifl, No, no — here, here, child — I have raised
the lupplieK within the rear.

Ter. I lell you, you're a lunadic man.

Quid. Yes, yt% I'm a lunatic to be sure

I tell ynu, Harriet, 1 have saved a great deal out
of my aft'mr* fur you —

hut: For H^nveu's sake, iir, dni/t do that;
you must E;ivi; up cii-ry thing; roy uncle Feehle's
nwTcr will t>e here to tiilk. with you ab^nii It —

daid. Poll, [M>h, 1 tetl you 1 know what I am
about — yotiHlmll have my bmikft and pnnt|))iletii.
and all the manilHifies oV the pot«ers nt nar.

H»r. And mi itiiike me a pnlitiriun, Mr?

Quid. It would be rhe pride of my Ivcart tu find
I had gjnt a politician in pettio>iit<' — a female
Machiiivcl ! N(>-HJikins you mJKht then know as
inurh a« mnsi p[M|i[t> that calk in cY>tTce-h'Ki«e^;
and who knows hut, in tune, you miuht be a maid
of boiMMir, or itwoeper of the Moll, or—

Har. [>car ur, dou't t sec what yon have got
by politics?

Qnid. rd»a ! mv coimrry's of more conw-
aucncc lo me : anil let me tell y^u, y»u can't
think too much of your ctiunirv iu ttie^e worst
of limes; for Mr Monitor h«s tnid us thai af-
fairs in titc north, and tbc Pnficstant inlcrcKt,
befcni to tjw ticklish.

Tfr. And yoxir daiighicr'a aSairs are fery lidc-
lish, too, I'm sure.

Har. Prithee, TennaEBUt —

7Vr. I must apeak to him — I know yog are io
a bckltsh fitunlion, ma'am.

Quid. I tell you, Trull—

Ter. But I am convicted it is so; nod the pat-
tare of my afTnir^ is %-ery ticklish too : and m> I
imprecate tlitit Mr HelmiMir would cmne, and—

Quid. Mr llt-lmoiir cnrac ! 1 tell ymi, Mrs
Saacebox, that my daunhier Jihall ucvtr be iiiar-
rted to a man that has not better notions oi' the
balance of power.

Ttr. But whnt Durrision will yon moke for her
DOW, witJi your balances?

Quid, lliere aj^ain now ! Why, do you think I
don't know what Fm about ? I'll look' in the pa-
pcn for a match for ycni, cliilil ; lhere'<>> often
good ronichei advertised in tbe papers — Kvil l>o-
tJde it, evil l>eltile it ! 1 onre tlioiigbt tn Imve
struck a pvAt stroke, that would htivc n^tuiii&li»t
all Europe; I thought to have married my daugh-
ter tT Theodore, king of Corsica-

Uitr. What, and nave me perish m a jail, nir '

Quid, '^bodikins my dsu(;bter wuuld have hod
her coroiuuion-dny ! I should liave been allied tu
a crowned head, and been first lord of the Irca-
«iiry of Con.i(-n * — Uut come, now. 111 eo aiul
talk over the Loodoa £veiuD^ till die Uoutte

comes in ; I shan't sleep ta-uight, nnless 1 Me the
(itizeile.

KnffrContctL.

Cod. Mr Quidnunc, your serrnnt — l*he door
wns open, and I entered upoa the premises — ^I^a
jiiM conw> from th<' hall.

Qitid. 'Sbodikins, this tunn is wm come to
krrp lite ut home.

tW. Itpon ray wonl, Mi!« Harriet's a very
prclly ^ouii;; Indv : as pretty a young lady as otic
woidd desire to have and to hold. Six'am, your
inott ut'tihciit : 1 hiive driitM) my frieiid rcebtc'i
will, in %% hicli you hare a\l his goods nod chattels,
lanHs and hcroditBitiFnt6.

H«r. 1 thank you, sir, for the inforraaiioo —

CW. And I hope siK>n (o draw ynnr miHTiage-
st'ttlempnt tor my friend Mr Bdmour.

Har. i) led. sir ! not a word of thiit before ibt
father— I wish you'd try, sir, to get him to ihmk
of hilt afTairs,

Cod. Whv, yes I have instnietions for thst
purpo'-e. Mr (jiiidnunc, I am instructed to ci-
poiind the law to ymi.

Quid. \V liat, the law of imtion^ ?

(W. I Htn instrurtrd, Btr, that you're a liank-
rujrf — QvfiU tuxticut rufitut — luinjtit rou/c fnirt—
Ami uiy iiittnicti'iiia say fuiiher, that y«a are
summoned to appear before the conimissionen \jy
murrow.

Quid, lliut may be, sir; but I enn't pt t^
morrow 4 und so 1 !*bnll send tl>em vrord — I in
to be trvmorniw at .SUiivhicr's c<illre>-hnu^ wilb
a private comntiitre. about bugiiMmi nf great coo-
sequence in the affairs of Knrupe.

CVW. Tliin, sir, if you don't go, I must imiraci
ynu that you'll be guilty of a fekxty ; it will b*
dectned t« be done malo animo — it is hdd m in
the Ixfoks — And nhat says the ttJitute? Ry thr
,^th Geo. n. rap. ^0. not summdcnni;, ur eup
bcnliiig, is felony, witlKmt benefit of clerpj,

Quid. Ay! v(*u tell nie news ■ -

C»*ii. tlive me leave, sir — 1 am tntirudfrf Is
evpnund tlic Itiw r» tou — Felony is thus dcstribtd
in iIju books: Frlonia, sailb llotimian, de ttr-
l>i$ jeaditlilfits, ti^nificat Kaptimlejorinu*^ a Clfft-
lal olTcnre.

Quid. Vuu tell me netfn; vou do mdaadl

Cml. It was $0 apprehended by the GodnMl
thr lyin>;ubard^ And what sailh sir VAmai
C'oU' ? Kitri dtbtat feUao anme..

Quid. You're tolt) me new« — I did oot kse*
it wai felmiy ; but if t>ie Flanders moil dttoui^
come in while I ntn there, i hball know ootkiV
at all of it

Cod. But » hy should Toii be uneuy t ni iMfk
Mr Quidnunc, cui Aonor

Quid. Not uneasy! If the papists iboutd boi
tlie prolcstnnta !

Cod. But I telt you. they can fct no siM*'
tage of ua. The Laws asuiusL the further poatk

MoBtBT.]

BUmSH DRAMA.

of poperr will wcuk us : then arc prov'tMs in

Cuvmr itl firote«t»itt pnrchu'^-ni tiiidcr pAptMs —
lOtli Geu. I. cup. 4. aiid Otti Geo. II. cap. 5,

QuU Ay !

Corf. Aad bc*iiles popidi recusants can't carry
anii9 ; so aui Iibvl- nu r^ht af cuiique», z>i et or-
tm*.

4im»^. lilac's troci that'* true ; I'm etutcr iii
mjr miitd

Corf. To be tiirr, wltat lye you iinensy aboat ?
Tlw papists nn have no cLum to Silcsm

QitfL (tan'i ibr;?

t*td. No. tlicv ran lei up no claim — If iho
mirt'u, on lirr iiiarriHce, hod pill all hrr lands niKi
IIiKHiput, tlicii tiiiliTil — and il ^eciiir-th, Miith Lit-
litintx, that this nord Uutciipot » ui Kiigltsli a
pud'finc

"^wiW. Y«u r*nw>n very clearly, Mr Codicil,
ihu ri;:litN of the powers ut ^^l^^; mirt m>
*. if yoD Mill, 1 am rCMdy to talk, a little ut* iiiv
m&un.

Cod. Nordoc^llic matter rest licrc; fur hun-
cao she Kt up a clnim, when she hai made a cuo-
*mticc lu tlic liiiiiM* ul' Bruii<lt-iiburt:h ? The law,
Mr Quuliiaiic; ia very iocre again^ fmudQlcnl
CBBveyaitoes.

Qmid. *SbndikiiM, ynu lia^'e uitisfied itir— —

CW. Why, therefore, thea, if he will U-vy fines,
ami niSer a coramuii recovery, be can bcqiienllt
it a» lie hkea ia/eodum ttmpU^, provided he Uikes
OUT to pat It ill ut kertM.

Qutd, Vox heartily glad of it— So that, witli
n^ard Xn niy ejects

Corf. Why, tbeiij suppose site was to bring it to
■ trial Etboir— ~

Qjiid. 1 siiy. with regard to the full disclosure
•f ay eAvls

Corf. What would !thc Rct by that i ii would go
off opoB a (peaal pleading; and as lo equity —

Qtitd. Pray, mast I now surrender my books
ftsd oiy |nuiipldelsf

Cod. What would equity do for her? Equity
CHi't relievo her; he mi^ht kficp her at leant
twcDiy year* beiure a ouutcr to settle the ac^

CBBM— ^ —

Qiu4. Voii hare made me rn^ nK-int the Pro-
testants ID thi* war, you twvr indeed. So tluit,
with regard to toy appearing before the cotiuuiv

Cod. Atwl as to the ban of the empire, be may
^laiir III (lint : for all tenures by kniichis-service
•re aUtiished; and ihe stiiiiiie I2tli I'har. II.
In* dadand aD lajids to be held under a couiidoi)

Qiutf. Pray now, Mr Cndicil, most not my cre-
<fitor« appear t^ prove tlieir debt« }

Cad, Wliy. ihereforc, then, ii they're held in
eaamon soca:£e, I vubmit it to die court, wtic-thcr
Oie empire am have any riaim to knii;;ht*k ser-
«•«. Tl>cv can't cnll tu him for n '^iniite ui&ii

far tliC ••af> usKMi AonHJurm ad /eurrram

ror wbaC is cumoion socage? •tocugium idan

ett quod scrvithim loe^—Tlui service of tho
ploui^b.

Quid, I'm ready to attend thena — But, pray
now, when my ccriificalc is wailed— it is of threat

oonscqucncc to nic to know this ■! sny, wr,

when my certilicale is sijcncd, mayn't I tiien—
Hey ? [Starting up.] Ucy ! Wliat do I heurf *

Cod. I Bpptaheud — I humbly oonccivc, when i
your certificate is signed

QuiiL Hold your tongue, man-^Did not I hear
the Gazette ?

Sruiman. [ITifAin.] Great news in the Lon-
don (iazctie !

Quid. Yes, yes, it is — it is the Gaictte —
Terroncnnt, nin, you jade — [.Turiii her out.] - *
Harriet, flv 1 It is the (larrtte — ["lurt* her out.

Cod. Tlie laW| in tbat case, i^lr ijuiduuuc,
prima facie —

Quid. I cnii't bear yoti— I have not tim^— Ter-
muj;aiu, run, make haste — [Stanpi violently.

Coti. I sav, sir, it is held in the Itook'i —

Quid. I care fur nu books ; I want the p»-
per:^-- [Slamping.

Cud. Thniu^uut all die books — Bo ! the luao
is nan cumpot ; and bis friends, instead of a com- *
mission of bankruptry^ should take out a coiiw \
mission of luniurr. \_ETil Con.

Enter TzntiAOAiir.

Ter. Wluit do you keep such a bawltni; forf
iIm? ucw&ntan says as how the empcmr of Mucco
is dead.

Quid. Tlie emperor of Morocco i

Ter. Yes, him.

Quid, My poor, dear emperor of Morocco ]

[liurgts iHlo fears,

Ter. Ah, you old Diwi Quirksett ! — Muduin,
niwlaiu — Mis Ilarrirt, co your wars into tho
next room; there's Mr Belmuur's mou there; Mr-
Bclmoiir has sent you a billydore.—

Har. Oh, TennagHut, my heart is m an uproar
— I don't knot* what to say— Where is he? let
me run to him this in&iant. [En/ Har.

Qitid. The empomr nf Morocco liad a rt>|pird
fur the balance ol Eurnpe — [Htgtu.] — .Well, well;
conte, cnmc; t^ivc me tite paper.

Trr. The ueMsmnn would not trust, because
you're a bankrup|K;r, mid so I paid tnopcncc-ltaif-
ptnnv for it.

Quid. Let's see, let's sec.

'iVr. Give mc my money, theOi

[^Hnnnin^/rom him*

Quid. Gire it mc this instant, you ladc !
Trr. Give mc my money, I say ! \from htm.

[After hiau

Quid. I'll teatj) vuu, I will, vou boKftKc !

[jifter krr.
T^T. I won't part with it till I have tlie money.

[From Aim,
Quid. Ill gi%'e you no iDoncy. huMv !

' [JJier her*

«se

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Mu«FHT,

IVr. Your dAugliter nhaU marry Mr Belmour.

[ Ftom hiui.
i^id. I'D never accede to tfae treaty.

\Afier her.

Ter. Go» you old (itdi\ [Fftmi kim.

Qttid. Ywu vile miux, worse iban tiw whore of
^brloa • [v4/?fr her,

TW. There, you old crackcd-brainetl-politk —
there's your |inpt:r rin* h»u !

[Throipsit down, and exit.

Quid. [Sitting ddtpn.] O llcavpiw! I'm quite
oot of hrwuli— A jade, in keep my news from nu-
— What dtKft it Miy, whnl dne» it say? — \Rauia
vrry J'lttt vhiU tnttning the paperjy-' Wbercii*

• 0 commiBsiDn iil tmnkrupl is awarded and i»^ued

• forth ii)tH)ii>l Abraliaiii tjutdiiuric, of the pansh

* of Si Mnriins in (he l-irlds, iiphuJst«rer, dealer,

* and chnpmuit, tlic said baukrupt ts hereby re-

' quired to »urreiidM hinudf.' Foh 1 what sig-
itifirs thii ^tuff? 1 duo't luiod myself, wbeu the
biiltwct; of power isooacemed. — Uuweter, 1 shall
be read uf lu the same paper, in the l^udon Ga>
telte, by the powcn ahrond, tofietber wiik the
pope, lutd tiK rreach kinji, sod the mi^cul, and
all of them — Go«k1, Rtxjd, rer* good — Hcre*» a
power of Dcwft—Lct iiie we — [ReadM.]—' tetun
' from tlie vice-adminil. dateil TyRer, offCalml-
* t«.' — [Mtttltrs to iifud/wry Va^er/y.}— Odd's
heartf itiuse bajtjpigM wilt interrupt me ; 1 hear
their iw^es a^iiig, click, cluck, clack : lit ma
iQto my cluMi, ond lock mv^elf up. — A viiea ! a
irollifp ! to waijt moiiev from me, when 1 may
liave occRslon to bay the slate of tlic Sinking
l-'uotl, or Faction Detected, or The Barrier Treaty
— or — and, besides, how could the jade tell b«|
lo-morrtjw wc may have a Gaxette Extnarditian^

A C T n.

SCENE I.— The VpSoUtertr't hoate.

En/rr QriDitt^tiC.

Qaid. Whf.be, whi^rc, where 1» he? Where's
Mr Pamphlet ?— — Mr Pitmphlci ! — Tcrmngaiit—

Mr a a— reriiuigaut, [larrietf Tenuogaiii,

you rile luiox, ytwi »aucy—

Knter TKRWAGAirr.

Ter. lien's a racket, indeed !

Quid. Wherr'i Mr Faniplilel? You baQm!«*
if Ih-*** giMie - ■ - ■

Trr. Did nnt I inlimidiite that be'i in the nckt
rojtu ' — V\ hv, 5urr the utaiiV i>itt oi his wits \

Quid. >hitf him ill hrre, thin — I would nut
IDIM seeing him for the diKxnery of the Dorth-
CBAI piis>»2e.

Trr. <in, you old gemtni ptmini oi a pnliiic !

[Krit Teb

Qmid. Show hiro in. I my ; I had nirtter %ef
hint than the whrtle »tnte of rhe pcat-c at T'trecbt.
or the Pari«-i^ln-moit>, or tbe voles, or the iin<
liutc«, or — [Hrr< he ctMHS.] — iho be«t political
vrrtter of the ape.

Entrr Pavphlitt, I'a a turtoat coat. &e.
Quid. Mr Pamphlet, I am heartily )(lad to Kcr

Pam. Mr Quiduuac, yimr lervnnt; Tn come
hotn a place of ptat importance.

Quid, Look ye Uiere, now !— Well, where,
where?

Pam. Are we aloac ?

Qvid Su«, iitHy. till I ihut |he door-— Now,
BOW, where do voii come fnim?

Pnm From dkc court of rr<(uc8ts.

[Ijymg aiidt Ail $Hrtout coot.

Quid. Tlie court of ret^uerti • [ITAwpm.] Art
ihcf up?

PawL Hot work.

Quid. Debater arititni;, may be?

Pam. Yes, and like to sit latm.

Quid. What are they upoa?

Pam. Cao'l say.

Quid. What carhod you thither?

Pam. 1 went in hopes of betuf; taken «p.

Qutd. Litak y« there now. [Shaking ht* _^

Pa>/i, IVe bct^n aiming at it chew tiiree yc^l

Quid. Indeed ! [Storing atUS

Pam. Indeed !— Seditioo h the oidy tinnt; to
lUithor can bi-e by now — Time ha» been j couil
\urii □ penny by an carlli(|iiakc, or live npoa i
tnil-di"teniper, or dine upon u hlooilT morder)-'
l»ui HOW ilml'-j all o\iir — noihmp wiil do otm txil
ronatiiif! a lumtAtcr, or telliui> tlie )M.'oplc that tfatj
are ruined*- The people uf Knglwid are never •>
hitppy a^ when you U-ll tbem they ar* nuaed.

Qutd. Yes but titev an't ruined — 1 ban i
•4^'inr fur paying otf tKe national ilebc

Pam. Ijot ii-i sec, let u» (^ee [Pul$ vm hit tfth
taeUt.\ Well enowih t well imagined ! — a Ofo
llioQi>btthi5! — I must make ibia my owo. [jiaife]
mIIv, fulilr, nhsiird. alMtminahle; this will oeMr
d<> — I'll put It m my pocket, and read it or«r«

the looniinK lor yon Now, look yos brr*!

I'll 5h<iw TfKi a scheme. \ liummvginfi Au f*i^
r/t.] No, t)uit'» not it : tlmi't iu\ cunilutt of t^
luitufttry, l>T N ainntry i^ciiilpmau ; 1 pcond tk*
aniiun uiiflnm- hert- - tlii& Mtldhufely; aadho*
nri*v, here's my answer to it, by a I'tcAile lei^
thi5 did not tnoveamoiu; tJie iraile.

Quid. Whwt, dii yiMi write ou both sidesF

Pam. Yeb. b»Ui -lidt-t; 1 have twa baitd^ ^
t^iitdnunc : alwuytt iiupartiid, amh^4t*Ur. S'i«>
litre, here's mv drdicnitun to a itreal tua
tiKirlied twenty for tlus; and bervj hecc'a lof b-
bel upuu htuk-^^ —

a

Quid. Whnl, nHcr bcine nblieorl M htm ?

Pam, Ye», fur Uiat ren»un — It excilM citriosi-
ly— WhitCHMuli aiid binckine-ball, Mr Qiiid-

nanc ! in utrumijtte pumtus no thriviuj^ nilh-

uut It.

Qmd, Wbot have you here in tliii pockrt ?

[Prifing eogtrty.

Pmm. Ttiiit't mv accuunt with Ja'crib /.orobn-
bcl ihr br<)kcr, fur writing jninu^nphft to raiM* or
luioble ttie stockik, or the price of lotterjr turketE,
Bccnrdiii;^ to llM pUnKMAS.

Quid. Ay ! Iiow do y«Mi do thnt f

-Fam. A* lliiw — T<i-day llic prolcttnnt inlrrcsl
<leclin«4, MiiHra« it tnken, nitii F,n«lniid is un-
done; tbea, h\i ihe Iniit* r'luxr!) in th<- allrv look
u dtsowl U B hiank ; biiiI »ii JmcjIi hay% uway,
and llirivw up*M) our rtJin. rtieii. tit-trixrrow, we
ar« all Hiitc mid mprrv auHui ; piinrficlnTrj's tti-
krn; a certain nunht-rn ptiTDniBte will shortly
unke n blow to astuni^i all Kurij|)e: and, then,
rtvrv true-4>irn En£li<^hn)an is willing; to buy a
locter^-ticket fur twentv or tliiriy diiillingb uiurc
than m worth ; so Jacob sell* nway, and rcnp«
the fruit of our succeu.

Quut, What ! will the people believe that

DOW?

Pam. Reltcre it * bolteve any tlnnc; — No swal-
low like a tmc-buni Eni[ti<>h(n«n*» A wan

in n quart-bottle, or a virtnrTi 'tis all uiie lo
theiH'- — tliey give a gulp— and down it goes
— efih, glib — —

Quid. Yes; but tlicjr au't at the buttora of

I

fam. No, oot the; ; they dabble s little, but
csn't dite

Quui. Pmy now, Mr Pamplilct, what do yau
tbiok i>f onr aituatiiMi?

Pmm. [Ifld, sir, bad — And how can it be tiet-

ter? the pe<)ule ni puwcr never wind to me

ncrer conwift mc ; it must be bod ; uow, here.
Iierc — [Gofi to *w hote toat] here is a maun-
ftcnpt ! tfii^ mil do the buiuncAs, a inii>tcr- piece !
I shall be taken up for thb

Quid. ShKll TC ^

i'«Mi. As fturc as a ^un, I shall; I know the
botkicller'ft a rofiue. and will i^irr mc up.

Quid. But prsy now, whit bbail you f^t by
bcm^ taken op?

pom. I'll tell yo4i-^ H'Ati^irri.] in order to
make me hold uiy tongue.

Qiud. Ay, but you won't hold your toni^ue fur
allthvL

Pmm. Poh. poh * oot a jot of that— abu»c
diern the next any.

<|n^. Well, well, I wish you succen-;

Sue 6u you hear uu news f have you aeea the

Pom. Yes, I have seen thn( — -Orcnt news, Mr
Quidiioar — but tiatk yt-~{^W htspert.\ and kis»
oett week.

V«L. IlL

^2

a "a

Qnid. Aycl

PuM. Certnin. ^

Quill. Not hint; permanent inthisworkl. M

Pom AH t» yanily- ■ ■ —

Quid, t-'ps aod down*

Piim. Inland nuts

Quill. Wheel* within whrr!*

Pnm. No wimke wiilmut hre

Quid. AII'a well l)ut ends well.

Piim. It will last our line.

Quid. Whoever lives to sec i^ will
know more of the mailer.

Pain, lime will tell nil.

Quid. Ay, we utu« leave all to the determina-
ti.)nof time. Mr Pamphlet, Vm heartily obli-
ged to you for this visit — 1 luvc you better than
any tiitin in En)rtand.

trim. And, for tnv part, Mr Quidnanc — t
love yiin better llmti f do Riii;litnd iLrrlf.

Quid. That's kind. th<)t'« kind — there's nnthin;
I would not do, Mr I'nmphlct, lo serve you.

Pum. Mr Qiiidimiir, I know you are a inon of
inlcf^rity and honour — I know you arc — and now
Mini'e we ha»e opened our henrts, there is a
thing, Mr (Quidnunc, in which you can serve mo
— Yoii km/w, air, tha is tlic fuloets of oor heurts
— ymi linow you have mv note for a trifle; Imrd
(fealini! with aa<]r£ne<'a. Kow, could not you, to

^rve a friend could not you throw that

turte into the ftre?

Qui'i. Ilcv^ but would thai be honnt?

Pam. Leave that lo me; n ruliiu-d stroke of
|Ki|icy— Papers have beeu destroyed iu all go*
vemiDents.

Quid. Sii they hflve; it •iha]| be dtme; it will
be puliticnl; it will, indeed. Pray now, Mr
Pamphlet, what do you take to be tlie true poli-
timl tialiinre nf power?

Paul. What do I take to be the balaDce of
p<>we" ?

Quid. .Ay, the balance of power 7

Pam. llic bnlonre of pxwer * what do I take
to be tlie balance of ni>wer ? the balance of
power ! {Shuts htt fiftu] what do I take to be
the balance of txiNftcr?

Quid. The bnlnikce of power I take to be|
when (lie court of alitrnnen sits.

FaM. No, no —

Qittd. Yes, yes

Pam. No. no; the balance '>f power is when
t':e f<Muidati(ins of goveniinent and tlic »uper>
Mnicturcs are natural.

Qunt. How d'ye mean natural?

Pam. Prithee be quiet, man. This is tlie tai»-

eun«e — The lialiioce of |y>wer iv whtn wipfp-

Mructures are reduced to proper buliutces, or
when the balances are iioi n-dticed to unnatiirnl
superstructures.

Qutd. 1\>K poh ! I tell ycm it is when the for-
uticntKJiis of Uunkirk are demolished.

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Mdbpby,

Pam. But, r tell tou, Mr Quitlrtuuo—

Quid. I Mv, Mr Pamphlet

PuitL lleur nin, Mr CJuiHminc-

Qiiid. Give nic leave, Air Pamphtet'
Pan. I must obscn'c, sir ■ '
Quid. I nin (•nininccH, sir

■3

^

i*aw. Tlmt the balunrc *A' power

Quid. That tlir lortiBcauons ot* Duo-
iirk

Pam. Depends Qpon tJie balances and sii>
pe^rt^uct»^€^s^^

Quii/. Constitute the true political equt-
libnuin

Patft. Nor will I conrCTM with ft man —

Quid. And, sir, I never de&ire to iwo your
fuce

Paw. Of such anti-cofi9titutiofiat prin-
ciples-^—

Quid, Sot tlic face of nriT man who is such a
Trf nchinan in liis licurt, aiia has »acb notions of
Uic l>alaiK:e of power.

Kc'-rtiter Qt;iDNCirc.

At, I've found him nut — 9urh altoratnahlc prin-
ciples! I »cv«r desire to canver»c with any man
Of his PolioM ■ DO, nerer while 1 hvo—

Jle-emtcr PAMPuter.

Pom. Mr Quidaunc^ ooe word with jrou, if

you plcnse.

Quid. J^ir. I never desire to sec your face^

Pam. My property, Mr Quidnunc — I shan't

leave my property in the hnuM.' nf a baiiLnipl.

flViatiitf! kit huttdkerckii'l round fm amt.] A sil-
y> empty. iiieomprtlienMDic blockhead !

<^«V.' BlcN:khe;id. Mr Pamplilet !

Pam. A l)Ki(klH-ad to um; mu thus, wheii I
have vou »o much in my povfcr

Quid, In yuiir power !

Pam. In my power, flirf It's in my power to
baiift you!

Quid. To hail): me !

Pum. Ye«, &ir, to han^ ynti. \J}riming on kit
rait.j Did not you propoM but lliis mmnent — did
not yuu desir« me to oombtne nttd confederate to
bum a note, nud defraud your creditunt i

Quid. 1 desire it !

Pam. Yes Mr Quidnunc i but I shall detect
you to Ihe world. I'll pive your ihnmctcr — You
ahall ha\'e a uxpenny touch next week.
^ Flebit et imigttis tola eantabilar urhe.

f£rif Pampulet.

Quid. Mercy on me ! there'* llie effect of hi*

anii-omttituiiunal principles ! the spirit of his

whale party ; I never desire to exchauge nuotlicr

word «iih him.

£n/fr Tf.rmacant.
Ter. Uere'ft a putlKr, tndccd I Did you coll

Quid. No, you trollop, no'

Tfr. Will yrm go to bed ?

Quid. No, no, n<j, no ! I tell vou, no !

Ter. Better logo to re6i,i>ir. I heard a doctor
of physic suy, as how. h hen a nuui is pa^ hia
grand crime — wliat the deuce mnLcs mc far|;oC
my worti ? bis ^mml crimp-hv^terir — nutliin| it
so good Bf^ainst indisconipoMtioiu as rest ukA
io its prudi>h nntalibufk

Quid. Hold your pnilinfc ! 1*11 itot go to bed ;
I'M stt-p to my brodicr Feeble ; I want to baie
wme talk with him, and I'll go to him dtrcctlr.

[Exil Quid.

Tfr. Go tliv way* for an old Hocus-pocus of a
newspaper ! Vou'll have good luck if you (um)
your dauehtrr here when you come back, Mr
Belniour Hcill be here iu the interim ; and if lie
does not carry her off, why then, I shall ihink
him a mere frhillr-»hnlty feller; and, by icy
iroth, I sliall lliiak him aa bad a pulititbiitfE u
yuuraelfl [£nl.

SCENR Ul.^Chenga to tktttrtet.

Eater QriDNt'NC, iri/A a dark tanthom.

Quid. If tlic Grand Turk should

commence open hiwiility, and the I ^

Tartars make a divention upon the frontiers
why, then, '(is my opinion — lime will discover to
us a (Treat deal more of the matter.

Watch. [ H i/Aifi.j Pnat eleven o'clock, a dofh
dy oijiht.

Quid. Hey* past eleven o'clock— ^bodikiah
my brother i'ccble will be gone to bed : but he
shnji't ftk'cp till I lutve some chat with hiis^—
tlark'e, waichmau, watchtnaa !

Enter Watckmam

Watch. Call, ma<>ler?

Quid. Ay. »tep hither, step hither; bare jot
henrd any uewsr

H'ntch Newa, master !

Quid. Ay, about tlie PrussiatiB, or tin Rta-
sians?

M'atch. Kusaians, master !

Quid. Yes; or Uie movrments in PoMr>>
nin?

Watcti. La, roaster, I know nothing. Poar|l>-
tlcicau ! [P(}i$i(iitg la kif firad.] Good oj^ H
you, master. Past eleven o'clock.

[Eht WitTi.

Quttt. That man, now, ha« a place under dx
guieniiticnt, and be won't apeak. Hut I ant k^
>iri{: time. [Knocks at the door.] Hnjy wcalkcr!
[lAwkmg yp.^ The wind is (i\t in that qiiirtcr,
mtd we ahaii t have nny mailk this week to ohk-
Come about, good wmd, do, come obouC

Enter a Serxant-maid.
Maid. La, sir, is it you f
Quid. Is your inaitcr at homcr child?

MOBPHY.I

BRITISH DRAMA.

Maid. Goae to bed, sir.

Quid. Well, well, I'll step up to liim.

AfaldL Most nut disturb bim for the vrorld,

Quid, BmdnesB of the utmost iinporta.'ni!e.

MmJ, Prmj, eoimder, sir, my master nn'l
wdf.

Quid. Prithee be quie^ woman ; t must m>c
hini. [Eieunt.

SCENE IV.— ^ room itt FteniK's houte.

EnttrTtt.BLi.,in his night-gown.
Tee. I wo« just steppini; b(o mr bed. Bless
my benrt I wh«t can thi'* man want? I know bis
rottv- I hope no new mitfortunc brin^ him at

tthi> hour !
Qitd, Hold your tongue, tou foolinh hussy ;
be'll be clod to wv me. Brother Fee hip. bro-
ther Feeble' [Wttlua,

Enter Qimdkvnc.

I

I

Quid. Bmther Feeble, I give you joy ; the na-
bob's denwiliihed. [&'n^ji.]

Britoaa strike boiac, revenge^ Ace

R«k Ladc-ft-dny, Mr Quidnunc^ bow can yoQ
serve nw tlmsf

Quid. Suraja Dowla is no more !

tWb. Poor man ! he*8 Mark-5tariD]C mad.

Qmui Our men (lirrrteil tdemselve^ with kill-
mt tb«ir bullocks and tlicir cniiirK ti)[ tbry cliv
loofied tiie enemy fmrn the octagon, una tlip
conotertcaqj, and tht hanK-Ici

Freb. I'll Iiear the rest to-intirrow morning —
CHi ! I'm ready to die !

Quid. Odnhrart roan, be of eood cheor~ihe
new nabob, Jafiter Ally Cnwn, hiu acceded to a
treaty ; and llie Koglish Company have ^ut all
their ricbtain the Phiemnnd and the Hushbulbo-
Drum*.

Ferb. But dear heart, Mr Quidnanc, Mhy am
I to be disturbed for thiif

QidiL We lutd hut two senpoys killed, three
dioitcra, four gaul<^alU, and two zemidars.—
[Sain.] * Britons never »hall be slares !'

trfi>. Wotijd uot to-niurnjw morning do lu
wtil for iht«^

Qmd. I jght up Tour windows mnn; light up
soar windows, Chandprnujiore i<i tuLpn !
k /««k WtU, well, I'm glad of it— Good night.
r ' [doing.

Quid. Here: here's the Guzctte !

Feeb. Oil! I stiall cerUmly faint !

[Sit I dovn.

Qmid. Ay, ay, mi down, and 11! read it to you.
( Am^J Nay, don^t nm awny — r*c more news
*o tell yini '—there'* an acociunt from Wtlli.'iiDV
rltaiTxh m America—'ITie superintenduntuf Indian

Imfiur?

[Avoiding hint.

Quid. lie has settled mancrs nith the Chcra-
keea — [Fullouiag him,

Ferb. Enough, enough ■ — ■ f Fiom hiiu.

Quid. In the utme maimer he did hefnrF with
the Cntabaw^ [A.f^''' *'""■

Fecb, Wfll, well, your senont.-
Quid. So that the back inhabitaiitfr^

( From him.

[After Aim.

Feeti. I wish you would let me be a ijuiet iu*
habitant in my own Iiousv ~

Quid. So that the back inhabitants wiU
now be secured by the Cberokocs and Cala-
buwi

Feeh. You'd better go home, and tliiuk of ajH
pcarinc before the comini5sioDers

Quid. Go home ! ll•^ mi ; I'll gn nnd lulk. the
matter orer at our cotlee-housc —

Feeb. Do so, do so.

Quid. [Ittiumitif!.] Mr Feeble— I had a dis-
pute ahuiit tlic baluncc of powei^-pray now, can
yiw tell ■

Feeb. I know nothinj! of the mattitr ■ ■

Quid. Well, nntithcr time will do fur tliit — I
ha»e a great deal to say nhiiut that — [Goiitg,
rrtuntt.] Kight, I had like tu Iiave fur|;ot ; there i
lui ermtum in the last Gayette

Feeb. With all my heart

Quid. Paso 3, line Isi, cut. Iitt a»d Hd, for
bomba read bwmt.

Feeb, Read what you will-

Quid. Nay, but that alters the »«ense, yoa
know— Well, nuw yuur i^-rvuiit. if I lirar any
more news, I'll come and tel] you.

Frfff. Fur I leaven'n sake, mi morp — —

Quid. I'll Ihi; with you bofore you're out of
your first ilcep -

Feeh. Goo(i-ni|^t, good-night"— — ■

[Rum oft.

Quid. I forgot to tell Tno the cniporor of

Morocco is denri. [Bonnn^ aftrr him^ S<i
now I'lre made him Impjiy — —I'll cu and knock
op my friend llnzur^ anJ make him hnppr too
■ — -aod then I'll go aiid sec if any U»«ly is up
at the ciiffcc-housc^^ — • — ^md make thcni all
happy there, too. [F.nt (JuiD:ii'»c.

SCENE W—A itrert. A thMv A»u*-. b.M
a barber's pale up, and candki burntng on Ike
outside.

Enter Qt;iDHt;yc, mth a dark laathom.

Quid. Ah, friend Razor !— he lia* a great re-
spect for a rejoicing night^—Wbo koows bat lie
luu Iteard somu more particulars.

ItAZon, looking out at the atadtuf.

fta:. Anan?

Q<tid. Friend Razor !

Ha:. My Master tjuidotux: ! Tin rcjoicijig ff*r

ftS6

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Mdrpht.

tlw nnps— ^-111 you partake of ■ pipe ?— Ill open
the diwir.

Quilt. N'ftt now, friend RaKt>r.

Rom. I've someihiiig to lell jrou — t'tl oome
down.

Quid. Thi» may be worth Slnying for — What
can he tvixe licard f

Enter Razoji, a pipe in bia mouthy aud a tank-
ofi/ in hit hand.

Has. Hcrc% to yoii. Muster Quiduunc !
Quid. VVliut knTcyou heard f What linve you
heard?

Kas. The coniiumcrs uf cats mrc to meet next
«crk.

Quid. Tiioie ron<Himcn tif oats )iav« bceu
mccritij; any tiinc' Uicaii teu yenn to my Luow-
, ledge, and I never could dnd wbat uiejr are
mbout.

Ras. Tltm)^ itn*t right, I (car iu enoueh

to put down a bitdy's bpiriu [Drinks.

Quid. No, uothioe to fear 1 cwi tHI yim

itonif good ncvn a rcrtain preat pot«nute

hail not heard liifcb-maM die Lofd knows witcn,

IUj. That pBto a body m nirits acsin.
[Driiiki.] litre drink, So wnoden Mun!

QaiV/. With hII my heart — [Diiuks] Good
liquor ihifi. Master Razor, uf a cold nietiL

ilflj. Yes, I pol a nimritTii oi Bnti4i brandy
111 my hri;r— wliu ! — t>u yuo kflow wlinl a rebel
mv wife i* ?
'Quid. A r«bel !

Haz. Ay, a rebel — I enmed oineifi«»-penee
half-penny to-day, and the wanted to lav out nil
titat prcflt sum npon ihc HiiUlren — whul — but I
bt)ut:m lliivst' mitdle» for tlie ^o-hJ of luy oountrr,

to r«?jfiice will), as a bodv may say a licik:

Virfiiiiy for my pipe, and this gup of hot

■whu

Quid. Av, you're an hnitcst man ■■ and if every
body did like you and me, »hat a nation we
thould be !

Rax. Ay, *rry true— [Shakfi Am head.

Quid. I i:an i>ive ymi tite Oszeiie to rend.

Hat. Can you ! » iIhiuviiuI thmAx— I'd tJike

it botne to you when 1 have dijoe.

[DrimkMf uad ilagger$.

QuiiL Fhend Rator, yuu begm to be a little in
for't.

Has. Vcs I hare n uhtrlik:^^ of u hrnd— but
a budv should le^t drunk sonicticne» for the f^nuJ
of one's cituiitry.

Quid. vVcll, I shall he nt home in half on
bour!— lUrk'e.

Rux. Ah'jii !

Quid. I Imve made a r(\re divovcrv — Florida
will be able to wipply Jnmnica wirh pea' for
their wiolcr'» firing. 1 lind U from a dei'p poli-
ticini).

Rax. Ay ! I nm glad die poor people of

Jamaica will have Florida peat to buni.-

[Batnn

SCEXE Vl^Tke Vpholttera't luaae.
Enter Belmour end Uakicit.

Har. Mr Belmour, pray, air 1 desire, «r,

voii'll not follow roe ff*'m ruoru lo room.

BeJ. Indulge me hut n moment.

Jiar. No, Mr Behnour, I've teen tno much of
your temper — I'm touched beyond all euduring
at your unmanly treatment.

Hel. ITnnianly, madam f

liar. Unmunty, ^r ! to presume upon the miv
fortuneti of my family, and insult me with the
fivrmidahle menam that, * Trulv you Itsva ifcine;
' tou'll be no more a sla^e to me.* — Oh Be, Mr
Betmour ! I did not chink a gemlemaD capable of
iu

litl. Rut you won't ronoider. —

Htir. Sir, I would have Mr Belmnor unde^
tumi, that though my father's drcum«ancc»»rc
enibiirT:iMed, I have still an unrle, who cvt, and
will, [jiatre tue in a ntato of afllucxice; nud itwn
sir, your declarotion*

Hrl. My dearest Harriet, they were bot barty
words; letmc now entreat \nu Minenne U> eoif
»ey you henre, far I'roin your father's roof, wbt-Tf
vtv- tuay at Icnetl) enjoy that happiness of vduih

Vfc have loof> rhensliexi the lovm idna Utui

say you, Harriet ?

Har. I doii'i know what to say— . ■ my
heart's at my lips.— Why don't yoa take mr,
tlicn ?

Enter Tekkacaxt,

Ter. Undone, undone ! I'm all ovex in a ftu-
tration^ old Jimiui Gomini's coiuii«.

Har. O lud, what i^ to be done iica t

Ter. The devil I whut ran l>c done ' I harrJI
— don't fliistmte yourself— I'll iiiid siimc 0i«-
»enw new^ for him — nwny with yuu both into
lliat room. ijuick,<|uit'k !

[Exntnt BrmoLR and Ha^biki.

Let me are — have I nnihinu: in my pocLc* ("
iKe old horuft piK04 to refldf^ Pslut ! that's Mr

1iclmour'> Icirer to Mits Harriet 1 etiv»lof«d

ihat jiecrer for nil pnins »n purvcnt me. — (*ld
Politic must not hn\e an i^lear of that buw't*

Stay, litav ; is 'here ne'er an old trumprf*

nrwai-aper? — this will dt» — [Put* it im b*t /w
kel.] N-m let ilic ttowtte of a fellow cuae ■
sttuii as he wdl.

Enter Qi'iDM'sc.

Quid. Fie upon il !- fir upon it ' — all tl"

coffrf*h<MiM"s shul u|i — When* i* mv Sain"*'
l>K/e(l«t-r, and my map nf rbc world}— in ikM
fwin. I fiuicv — I won't sleep Uil I kno« i^
gcogruphy of all these places. [Gfl

BRITISH DRAMA.

fiSV

I

Ter, &r. air* tir !

Quid, What's tho mnltsr P

Ter. Hart has bvcii Mr- --he with the odd
ranw;.

(Jm'J. Mr D — that writei the pretty Tcrac*
upon all public oa:aa«*n»

7Vr. Ay, Mr lt«ptilc; the same. Mv snys ■<
Kow thrre are some a»ay> of hu in this paper,
\Starchf$ ker pockttt.'\ aiid be desires you wiJI
^rc vour irtear oi* thetn.

Quid. That I will— let me see !

Ter. The deuce fetch it! here i» somclliini;
disdntan^les in my pocket; there it is. (Gi9»
the paper, and drvpt the lttitr.\ I'ny anuite it
before you go to bed ; or had iiut jou better go
and rcM it io bed ?

Qftii. No, I'll read it here.

JVr, Do so; hc'U call io tJie moFnini?. Ill
set turn til bed, ! warrunt me ; aiid Uiuii Miss
Harriet may elope as fast as »hc will.

[fxj/ Teiiuacakt.

QMtd- Ilev ! this is an old newspaper, I see.
What's tfais> {J\tktt up Ih* UtterA^ liere luay
>»e Bon»e new?^- Io Sliss Harriet QuidnuDc.' —
LcCiDeaee! [tUads]

* My dearest Harriut,

' Why svill yinj keep me io a state of suspence }

* I bttre pren yna c*cry proof of the sincerest

* coostiincy aiid love. 8arely then, imw tlutt you

* see your fnthci^'s ubsliniury, you iiiny detftraiinc
' to coQSult yr>ar own Iwtppioess; if you will per-

* nit me to wait or you this eveiiinf^ I will con-
' veyyoo to a fatiiily, vrlin will take the tenderpst

* care of your person, till you rriiicn it la the amis

* of • Your eternal ndinirer,

' BriMotm,'

StKBo! here's policy detected Wliy Hornet,

daa^ter! Hnmctf She has not made ber es-
cape, 1 hope i-"^ madatn —

£atfr Harkibt and Beluour.

II ev, the enttnv in our cainp !

tinr. Mr Dcimuur is no enemy, air.

Qmd. No! Wtiat does he lurk in my house
for?

Bei. Sir. my desipis are honourable ; you see,
sir, 1 am abo\'c cuixx-Hliii^ rnvxrlf.

Quid. Ay, thanki to t'cnnnennt, or I should
liavr brcn undermined heri- by ynu.

Trr. lIuMtkitiff in.] Wfuil the dt?ifil is here to
do now f I am all orcr in n quandcry.

Qtud. Now, madiun, an't ynu a fnl« girl — an
undutirut child' Hut I cun net intrtlieencc, ynu
*e^— 1 ermogimt is my friend, and if it bad not
been for her

EHttrTznuj^nAyT.

K been

^L^ Ter, Oh, my sfars and itatcers ! here's such a
^BUsoe of work — Wjuit shall I do?— My jioor
V^nr Ww Harriet [CrUt biUcrh.

Quid. Whnt, is there any more news ? ^Vhot
has hiippcncd nnvi }

T'T. Oh, niEulnin, m^duni, foreivc mc, my dear

miidum 1 did nut d-) it imi puruo->u— ^I did

not ; OS I hope for mercy, 1 did not !

Quid. Is the woman trazy ?

Trr. I did mil intend to %\hc it him; T would
have seen him niblieiccl tirtt. I found the letter
in your hedochaml*er ; t knew it wiu the same
I delivered lu you, ai>d iiiv citriuiuiy did make
mc peep into it. Says inycurto^tv, * Now, Ter-

* mafjant, you may iT*t>fy ynurxelf by tindinic out
' the contents of thHt letter, which you hare ea

* vi itcnt an iirhinK fur.' My cun->Mly dd s»y
so; and then I own my respect for yuu did swf
%a me, ' Hussy, Ik^w dare you meddle with whnt
'does not belong to you? Keep your distaa<e,

* and let your mistress's secrete alone.' And
then upon tlutt, in comes mv curiosity apiiin.

* Head ic I tell you, Termat>Hnt ; a nomHU of

* spirit should know evef7 thing ' * Let il alone,

* you jade,* says my respect, * it i<( as much at

* jour place is worth.* * Whcit upiiiiration's a

* place with an old liamkrupper?' says mv curio-
sity, ' there's more pluces than one; and su read

* it, I tell vMt Trrmasanl.' i did read it ; what
could I do? Heaven help me ! I did n-ad it;
I don't go to deny it; 1 don't, I don't, I don't !

\Cryinf Vrry hitUrly,
Qnid. And I hAve read i^ too; dou't keep sodk
an uproar, wuinno !

7'fr. And after 1 had read it, thinks mc, ' V\t

* Kive this to mv mistres* ukkih, and her ecrcma-

* DMTUS of a father shnll never sc( ii. And ao,
as my ill unrs W'intij have it. n^ I was pv lut himi
a newspaper, I run my htuid into tlie lion's
month. ICrying.

BeL What an unlucky jade she has been!

[Aside.

Har. Well, there's no harm done. Termagant;
fur I don't wAiit to drc< lie my futlicr.

Qttid. Vl"s. but there is harm done. [Knoi'Arin^.]
Hey, what's all this knuckmgf titep and see,
Termapant.

Trr. Yes, sir. \Erit.

QuiiL A waiter from the cnHec-tiouse, may-
hap, with s«mie news. You sliuil »jn id the round-
house, friemL [To Rn hoik.] I'll cnrry vtm
there myself; and who knons hnt I may mctta
paHia<nfnt man m the muud-huuse tu tell im
some politics f

Enter Roveweli.

Rave. But I say I will come in; my friend

Omn'l \w nnirHercil nmonn^t von.

Hit. 'Sdeiiih, Hovcwt'll ! wtiat brii^ yoa
here?

Rorc. I Jiave been waitint in a hnckney-coodi
for you these two Irnir^ ; nnd split mt but I was
atnaid tKfv had Hiiullteied yun between two fea-
ther-beds f

•

238

BUITISH DRAMA.

Enter Tcrvacaict.

3Vr. More misfortunes ! here comes the
watch.

Quid. Titc belt news 1 ever beard !

Enter Watchmoa,

Here, lliieves ! robbcrv! murder! I diargt*
them both ; lake them directly,

IValch. SUiid and deliver id the king'* »&mc !
»ei2c them; VaocV ibcin down !

Bel. Don't frighten the I'Ady ; here's mj sword ;
I surrender.

Raw. You scMindrt:!? ! Stand off, rascals !

Watch, i>omi with hitn ! down with him !

[Fight.

£nter Razor^ mith the Gaxette in his hand.

se. What, a frav at my master Quidnunc'^ !
\ him down ! knock him down !
[Toldt np thf Gazrttff puis himsflj' in a boxing
attitude^ and Jin kit with fAr watchmen.^
Quid. Tliac's right ; hold him fast !

[Watchmen sci;:e Roveweii..
Rot*. Vnu have overpowered iuk, you raacuU !
'J'er, I believe as sure as aity liiiite. as how
Jlie*Ka hif^HwnyniBn, and ns how it was he that
I'vohlicd tlic mail.

Quit!. What ! rob the moil, and stop aJI llie
aewft! Search hinii search him! he may have
the letters ^>elongiiig to the mail in his podiclf
■aw: Ay, here's one letter, '■To Mr Abrahuiu
Quidnunc* Jjet's see what it is — ' Your dutiful
* sun, .lolin Quidnunc,'

RaTx. That's mjr namc^ mid Rovcwcil was but
assumed.

Quid. What, and am T ymtr father f

Rui. [luMiks m him,] Uhf my dear sir* [Ei»*
bracn haa, and powdrrt Aim «U ovpr.l 'tis he
sure enough ! I remember the mole on hu check
— 1 bhavcd hi* tirst beard.

Quid. Just retumiHl from the West Indies, 1
suppose ?

Renx. Yes, sir; the owner of a rkb planta-
tion.

Quid. Wliat, by studyinR pnlitit^ ?

Rovt. By 0 rich planti.>r'» widow ; and I hare
now fortune enough to make you happy in your
old Off:.

Rai. And I hope 1 shall shave him again f

KoEt. So ihou slialt^ honest Haior. Iti the
menu linte, let me entreat you bestow my tuter
upon my friend Uelmour here.

Quid. He may take lier as soon as he pleases ;
'twill nuike an etoellent paragraph in liio iiew»-
pupers.

Ter, There, madam, ralcine your pcrsoo ta
tiim.

Quid. What are tba Spaniards doing in th«
Hay of Honduras^

Jitrvf. Truce with politics for the preaeot^ if
you please, sir. Weil thiuk of our oi»q nflain
iirst, before we concern ourt>elve% about the ba-
lance of power.

Rat. NV ith all my Itcart ; I'm rare liappy !

Come> Mr Quidnuoc, now witli aews ha' dooe^
Uicsscd in your wealth, your dw^hier, aod your

son;
May diMTonl cease, faction no more be seen:
Be high and law for counlry, kio^ and queeiL

[£revnr ova

OIBOA

MEN.
HtAiTiT, tie Guardian,
Sia Chablcs Clackit, hitjriend.
Utt Ci-ACKIT, nejfhew to Sib Chablcs.
iatmat.

SCENE L

Enter Sift CsiftLES Clackit^ Yovko Clackii,
aitti Servant.

Ser. Plkasc to walk this way, nr.

Sir Ctui. Where is your inaucr, frieatl ?

Ser. In his (Imuiis-room, bir.

Young eta. I^t tiim know, then

Sir C'X*. I'ritJiec, t»e rjuiet. Jack ; when T am
JD company, let loc direct, ^li proper and de-

OCOL

Young CU. I nm dumb, sir.

Sir Cm. TcUMrlli^nrtlv, Ins frientl ondoeigh-
liouf. Sir Charles Clackit, would say three words
In hira.

Srr. I shall, »ir. [Eiit Ser.

Sir Cha. Now, nephew, consider nnce nt^in,
befofc I open the matter to ray nctehbour Hcart-
Uf wbu I wn emng to undertake fi>r you.— Why
doB^yoa H>eu !

ToMNjr Cla. Is it prnper ond decent, uncle f

Sir Cm. Pshs ! don t be a fool, hut nnNiver
■c — Doa't you flutter yourself I — What a»aunuice

hove ytni that this youn? lady, my friend's wortJ,
'lis n liking to you? Tin' young fellows of ifiif
use are all coxcucnbs; ftiid, I am afraid, ymi ara
<io exception to thJN general rule.

Young Cla. Thnnk you, uncle ; but, may I this
instant be struck old and pecvi&h, if [ would put
you upon a false scent to expose you, for all the
line women in Christendom. I assure you again
and a^iin, and you mnv take my word, uncle, that
\ii99 tlarrict tuis no kuid of aversion Co your OO"
pliew and most humble &er\'ant.

Sir Cha. Ay, ny, «iuiitv, vanity ! but I never
tnke a young fcllowS woru about wonieu; they'll
lie aji nut, and nitli as little consciencci u the
Brunels Oazctte. Produce your proaft.

Young Cla. Can't your eyes Ke them, uncle,
without urc;ing oic to the indelicacy of repeating
ihem?

Sir Cha. Why, I iiee nnthiujc but n fool's head
and a fool's coat, sopported by a pair of most
unpromising Ipi^s. Hmve yen no better pmtifA^

Yimnfi Cla. Vc», I havvj my good iuiidet ui^
clc, half a bundrod.

%40 ^^

BRITISH DRAM.V.

[Gabsick.

Sir Cha. Out with thpm, tlim.

Toung Cla. iij^t, then^-W bencver T sec Iier,
* Bhe uc%'cr looks nt me ; — That's a iii;ii of lovr. —
Whenever I speak to her, she never ao^ivers me:
Another M(;n of hive. — And whenever I speak to
anv bod^ elw', she Mcms to he perfectly easy: —
That's R ccrtnin »ien of love.

Sir CA«. Ihc devil it is !

Y^'ung Cla. When t iim with her slic i» alwavo
^rave; and the momnit I get u|i lu leave her,
then the (HHir tlunR bL-yjus: — ' \Vli» »i]l you leave

* nic, iMr Clatkit ' can't you sacnficc a few mo-
' menu to my bu»Jifulne»» ? — St*yi you aprt-table

* ninawBY. siny ; I shnll soon overcome the fcan

* your presence pives me.' — I cuuld say more —
But a mnii ot* Immmr, uncle

Sir C&c. What, nnd has she said all these
thinn* to you ?

Young CU. O yea, and lea times more-s-with
ber eyes.

Sir Cha. With her eyes ?— Eyet nre Tcry enni-
vocal, Jock.— Huwever, if the youtig !udy tin*
any liking to you, Mr lleartly is too much a
man of the world) tind too much my friend, to
oppose the match ; so do you w«lk into the gar-
, den, and I will open ttic tnnltcr to him.

Youug Cla. Is there any objectioti lo inv stay-
ing, uncle ? The businos witl be soon i-mled—
you will pni|Kise tin: match ; he wilt give liii^ enii-
scnt, I shall "ive mine; miss is sent Icir, and ref-
fair ^tt fait. \Snapf)ing liii fiiigtr.

Sir Cha. .Anil M} voii thinit tli:it a yoim^ tteaii-

tiful heireu, with tortv chimsaiid piiunds is to

be had with n scmp nf Frenrh, and a ^nnp of

'yoar finger? HritJico get away, and don't pro-

Toke me.

Yming eta. Nay, but my dear uncle—

Sir Cka. Nny, but my iniMTtitirnt nepheiv,
eitlier retire, or 1*1] ibruw up tlie unme.

\PuttiRg kiM out.

Young Cla. Weil, well, I am Ronc. nndc —
When you cnmc to the pitint, I sliall be rtudv to
make my nppearniM.'c.— Jlo« voyage.' [Erit.

Sir Cha. The tlevil's in tlieM; youo); feUuws, I
i.think !— 'We send them aliroad lu cure their
sbccpabnc&s ^"^ '''(^y get above proof the other
way.

Efiier Mr IIf.iktlv.

Cood-tnorron to you, neighbour.

Hftirt. And lu yim, sir C:hark*»; I am gtod to
« you 90 slranfT mid healthy.

Sir Cha. I can return you tlic coraplitncut, my
friend : Without flattery, you dou'l took more
than ihirty-fivt' ; uuil, belvipfn iMir»cLvf», you arc
on the «roiie side of forty— Hut iiiuui for that.

Heart. Ease and tranquillity keep me us you
■ee.

Sir Cha. Whv ilnn't von marry, nrighbour? A
(ood wife would do well for you.

Heart. For uic ! You arc pleased to be merry,
?ir Charles. j

&> Cha. So, faith, I am lerious ; and had I
a daughter lo recommend to yon, you ^mld «y
me nay more (hnn onrv, J auure yuu, neighbour
Hcnrtly. boforK I would ouit you.

Heart. I am much obliged to you.

Sir C/ia. But, indeed, you nre a little too much
of the pliilosopltcr, to tlunk of being troubled with
women and tncir concerns.

Hfort. I brt; your pardon, air Charlr*— Though
tlitrc arc many who coll theinst;lve» philosopher!^
thtit live single, and, perhaps, are in ttie rig^ht of
it, yet. I cannot think that marriage is at nil im-
coii>islt'itt with true philiiwi|>l)v. — A ^«i»e mu
will rpsolvc to live like ttie rest of the wortd, with
this ouly difierencc, that he is iieiilier a slave Ut
passions nor rtenit. It It not becau^Ibavoa
tittle philosophTi bat because I am no the wrvag
side of forty, sir Charics, that I desire to be ci>
cuwd.

Sir Cha. As you please, w ; and, ttow, to ai^
bu8ineM.-~You hare no o(>jei-tioa, I suppoee, to
tie up vour ward, Mift» Harnct, thou<£h yon bore
slippM the collar vourscif f ha, ha, ha !

Hrart. (Julie tfic contrary, ur ; I Itave lakea
her some time from the boardJnie-MJkuol, and
brouiilit her hiune. in nrdrr to dUpose of her
worlhiiy. with her own incliiiatiim.

Sir Cha. Her lather, ! have heard yoaiBj.n-
eommt'udrd ihni parlicubr care lo joa, wben
»hc had reached a certain a^.

Heart. He did vi; and I am the mo«* deSH
roiiH t.i obey him ncnipu loudly in thi^circumstancr,
as &hc will be a mont valuable BCquiulinn to (be
person who shall |;aiii h^r ; \qt, nrjt to lamtiad
tier frirrune, winch is the least considcraiioB, ber
Hcnliinents am worthy her birth; she is iieotlri
modest, and obli<;iiij>. In a word, my fncad, I
never saw youtb more amiable or diacred ; 1)0^
perltapH, 1 am n little paniat tu Iter.

Sir CAd. No, no; she is a delicious creBtBK^
every liody says so. Bui. 1 believe, nci^^ibav,
•MJiiieiliiiie lia^ happened that you litde ihinkoC

Hfart. What' pray, sirClurles?

Su- Cha. .My iiepltow, Mr lleartly —

Enler Yorso Ct-ararr.

Y<atng Cla. Here I am, at y«>ur serrice. li^~
my uncle is a tittle unltajipy in Itis inaiuirf ; but,
I'll clear the matter iu a moment— Mm Hime^
sir — V'Hir wnril —

^'*> Cha. (»et away, you puppy !

Young Cla. Miu Hnrr.ct, Mr, rwsr war4— a
niof>t BC(''jiiipli»hed V'tuiii; ladv. In fte Mirr —

Str Cha. Thou art a most nccouipliiJicd on*
romh, to be sure !

Heart. Pray, sirCharles^ Ii-l I be yomi|; Rrmk'
man ijpenk.

Ywiniz Cla. Yooll excuse me, Mr HeartJi-"
My uncle doc* not set up iV an omior— lii'^
ciinfiiited, or jo, sir— You see me wt»l 1 «"»—
itui I iiuj;ht tu ask pardon Tor the young bdraixl
ni) self. — Wc arc yuutiij, nr— X nuot conAai *■

i

Gabbick.]

BRITFSH DRAMA.

«41

were wronK to conceal it from ;ou — But my un>
dr. 1 ftce. » pleased to be angry ; and, theierorc,
1 »l)all »ay no otutT ul preteiiL

Utr CAa. W you dim't tuave the moia (his mo-
ineiit, umI May in the u,iirdcii till J eiill yuu— -

y'auKe Cia. 1 wn inrry I have dikplesscd you
—I did noc think it was inat-a-iir iip<u ; tint ytiu
muu hare your way, uuclc— \ou cotnuuuid — I
aabmit — Mr Heartly, yaun.

[EtU Yoi'KO Clackit.

Sir do. Puppv ! [Atttl^.]. My ncpheiv'» a tit-
tle uiiUiinkin^ \lr Ilcnrtlv, as yon »ee ; and,
■Sort, I hove Imi-h a fittle ntuiuxifi ho\« I
proceeded in this iiiTBir -. Hi»t» indeed, lit
Ikia ia a ouiniher persuaded mc. ibac your ward
mad he arc nut ill togcthrr.
• Mtart. Indeed ! this is the 6rst niicicc I have

_ of it, and t amnot cunci'ive whv Mi'vs IIht'

!l shuuUl ixjiictml il fnini irm; fur t have nfit-n
assured her, that i would never oppose her iii-
dination, thnnjth I mitiltt cudcarour to direct it.

Sir CAo. 'I'ls humitii nalure, iieiiihlHiur. We
are so ashamed of our first passion, ihnt wc
would nillioglv hide it from ourselves— But will
yw foentXMi my nephew to her }

Heart. 1 iuuhL bcf; your pardotir sir Churlcs.
The name of iXna itcatlcnwn whom ^he chon^es,
mate 6nt cotDC frotn hmelf. My adi-ice or tm-
poriiioiiy shall never iiilluencc lier : If guMrdinii!!
would be less ri^^N-Ous, young peunle vruuld be
ntore reasonable; and I am so unlivshinnable to
tlitnk, that hnppine^s in niarmigc ciiu't br biiu<:ht
tiHi dear— 1 itm stdl on the wrung side ul' lurly,
air Charles.

Sir CAo. No, no; y<Hi arc rtt;lit, ncigliliniir. —
But here site is. Don't alann her yuuuK Jteart
loo much, I bez of you. U|kmi my word, she is
« aareet mortel 1

Knttr Mi»& IIakrif.t atid Lucr.

J/w Uar. He is with company — Fll speak to
bim annthcr tirac.

[ Retiring.

Xttcy. Youngs handsome, and afraid o( being
•ecu ! Ymt are very particulur, m'\\<

Heart. Mi«i Harriet, you must not go. — [lUa-
Jiin re(«rai.}— ."Mr Charles, give me leave to in-
Croduoe you tu tliis ynun]> liidy. You kraw, I
■appaai^ ihe reason of this gentleinau's visit to
met [To Hahkiet.

Mim Har. Snr ! [Conftntd.

Heart, You may trust me, my dear. Di>n't
Iw disturbed ; 1 .slmtl not ropronch yon with niiy
thtni; but keeping your wishes u seciet fruin loe

Mim Bar. Upon mv word, sir — Lucy !

Lacy. Well, and I'jiicy ! I'll Uy my life 'tis a
treaty of uiam^^ ! Is that hucU a dn-adful
thioK? <Jh, for sharoe, mmUm ! Young tadir^ (if
fcafamn air nut frighlcurd ui such iliiug^ now-;i-
Ays.

I

voi.nL

Brarr. [To Sra Cns-J—We have gone too Tar,
sir Charica. We must excuse bcr dclicacv, and
give her time lo n-cover : I had belter talk with
licT ftlune ; we will leave lier now. Bi- per^uaiU
r il, ihut no endeavours sludl be wantm^, on my
jmrr, bi bring [bis afGsir to a happy and speedy
uuntJusion.

Str Cia. I shall be obliged to you, Mr Heart*
ly. Yuuiij< laiiy, your servant. What ^race and
modesty ! She is a mo^t cnga^ins; crenturc. und £
sbiill be proud to make her uue o\ my family.

Heutt. Vou do ti^ honour, sir Charles

[Kztunl !>iHCnA.aN(/ lIcAnr.

Imc*/. Indeed. Miss Harriet, you arc wry for-
[icular; you was tired of the hoartlioK-sctHwl,
und yet seem to have no inclinalion tu be murri-
cd. Wtiat can be the nM-iiniiig ut' all this' that
smirking old ffeiitleinan is uncle to Mr Clackit;
and, my life for it, he liHit made !>uine propusals
to vour guardian.

Afui Hiir. Prithee, don't plague me about Mr
(-Uckit.

Lhv^. But why not, miu? though he is a lit-
tle fantnhtiral, love:! to hear himself talk, Hod is
somuwhul sulf-Kuffident; you mu«t consider he
is youiifc, lias been abroad, and keeps ^iM>d mm-
puny : ihc trade will soon be at an end, if youuf;
ladies lutd gentlemen grow over nice and etcep-
ttuus.

Miu Uiir. But if [ can Hnd one without tliese
faults, I moy burcly plea»c jnj-Mlf.

iMiy. Wiiliuut thrsv faults ! and is be young,
miss?

3fiii Hnr. Ue is sensible, niitdcst, polite, af-
fablii, and i^eiwniuii; Hiid i harms I'mni the nam-
ml impulses <jf his own licait, as much a> others
dii^st by their senseless tura^ and Josotent aflfac-
tiiliuii.

Lucif. Upou my word ! But why have you
kepi ifiis secret so loni;? Your punrdian is lund
to vou beyond conception. WJuii dilficulttes can
you have lo overcome ?

Mm* U>tr, Why, tlie difficulty of declaring my
sentiment^

Lucjf. I.eave that to me, miss. But Tcur
uparL, with all his «cm»pUshmentis must Iiavc
very little pei^i'tmlion, not Cii have diacnvcred his
^ixkI fudnrie in your eyes.

Mitt Har. { take care that my eves don't tcU
t(iu much; luirt be has tuo much ddicwt to in-
terpret luttks to his advantage. Besides, ho
would certainly disapprove my (miihion ; tuid if I
should ever nwtke the declitrntion, and nieet with
a (kniul, 1 ihuuld absolutely die with shaine.

Lucy. I'll msure ynur lilt- fur a silver thimMe.
But what ou) possibly huider your couuug toge-
ther ?

Miu liar, tlis e\ce« of menr.

hic^f. His excess of a fiddlc^lick ! But come,
t^i pill you ill the way : You shall tnist me with
the secret ; TU inlruK it a^nin to half n dozen
friends; they shall tnlrust tC tu linlf a dozen

su

£42

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gabricc.

nore, hy n-hich mcnns, it will Iravcl tmlf the

own over in a week's tiiivi' : the (•entlcmaii will

l^ccrtiiinly hear of it ; niid thru, if ht- is not at your

Wc«t ill the iVtt'hiiit nl' n mrIi, I'll yive up nil Hiv

peniuisitcs at )rour wedding. What is his dqiik,

Miss Har. 1 cannot tctl yon his niune — )n()<-c<)
Xcnnnot; I am afraid of U-ine thought too ^iit-

[■-gulor. tint wliv ithoiilit I tH-iisluuiinl of my pii>-
flino ? U the iiDpivs>iori, which a virtuous rhnrac-
trr males upon niii' ht arlK «uch a wcnkticss, that
it umy nnl t>6 nfCUMfil?

Xwt'jr. lly my laiih, iiii»*, I cau't umler^tnud
JOm: you nrc ufruid ul' liein^ thought tingultir,

[ .atid yoii rmljy arr so ; I wmilil siion<>r rcnoiiiu'c
nil ihe piivJiin» in iIm' uiiivvrM', thnn have otic in
iiiy hosom l^-ntiuu uitd flutlcriiii; itwll" iti liIccc*.
Come, come, mias, upcii tbe wiltdow, uud let the
poor devil uut.

£nter Keartlt.

Htart. I-enve us Lucy.

Jjn\t. ll»cre'» Mimt'thinf! goifig forward : 'tis
very hard I can't l>e of the pony.

fK»i7 l.rcY.

Htert. She certaiuly thinks from the < liamr-

ter uf thti young man, tlint I fthall di<inp[;rote of

htr choice. [AnHt.

Mitt Har. What mti I poisihiy sny to him ? 1
nm tu much ntiiamed to innkc the dcHnnilion, »>
ho would be ID uiKlf riilnnil it. \Aufir.

Heart, Don't imacior, my drnr, thai I \4ould
know mure of your thoU)-iii*' thiiii you dcMre I
stiould; but the lender care nhidt I have ever
febewit, Htid thi- sincere liicmlsliiti nhich 1 nhall
nlnitys hnte for you, pivc nic a s«irt of tight to
enqnite iniocvciy ihinu that conccnii you. .Simic
frii-ndt have sjHtkeii to me In pnrtwrulnr. Hut
that i* not all. I have lately found ynu tlum^ht-
fn), ahseitl, and dit^lurhcd- Be plain with nic- —
]ia% iiuE soiiKhody been Iwpp}' enough to plouu
you?

Mis9 Hnr. I cannot deny il^ sir: yw : wnic-
body, indted, hn* phMM.-<l mi: — hut I must inirral
you not to giic cretjii to any idle -lorics ur in-
quire farther into the pariirtiliirt of niy inchna-
lion ; fur I c:mnot jHiaiiUy have iVsohlliuii
cnotifih to 3ay more to you.

Heart. But have you matir H citotrr, myilenr ?

■iliw* Har. I hnve, in my umu luiiul, sir ; antt
'pfc impo^tihle lo maLc a Uitter — tCBKun, honour,
Wery (hii^ niu»t approve it.

Jtrari. jViid Immv lung havcyou cnnccitcd this
pasuon?

Hits Har. Krcr ktnco 1 left llw cimtitrv— to
live with you. [.Vf>Ai.

Heart. I see your confusion, mv dear, uiol
will relieve you Tnmi il immediately— I am in-
formed of the whole

Mm Hiir. Sir!

//tar/. Don't be uncnsy ; for I can nitfa plea-

sure a^ire yon, that yntir pasuon is TCUirDcd
wiih npinl tmrlrme^.

Mtu Har. If yt»i UTC not deceived, I cmimoi
be more Iiappy,

Hoirf. 1 think I am not deceircd. Rtit, afVer
the ileclnraiion you have mnde, and the m»u-
nmces which 1 Imvc civen ^ou, why will vfia coti-
rcnl it any lender? Ilavr. 1 not doeircd ■ tittle
more conndencf from you }

Mat Hnr. You have, indeed, do-rrved i», and
•ihould rertainly liave it, were I mit well lusurcd
that you ivuuld oppose mv inclinnEinns.

Heart. I oppose ihem^. Am I, then, sonnlind
to y«io, tny dear? Can ron in the lf«<t doubt of
tiU/ alTertioii for you i { prouii»c you that I larc
no will but yours,

MUt Httr. i^ince you desire it, Uicw, I wiUco-

drnvour lu i sp.am mvH'If.

Henrt. I am all itlti-titioii — s|>eak, my dear.
Mii* Har. And il' I do, 1 feci I aiiali never be
ahli> lo }<|n'aL to yon H»ain.

Htart. How um tlint be, wlten I shall tpve
wiih yon in every thin}*?

Alia Hiir. Indt-ed yo« won't? pray (« me re-
tire lit my otviichandiiT — [ am nut mVhI, vr.

Hfnit. ! »ce j-onr delicany n hurt, tny dew:
but let me niliTat yon oiin* more to conf>de in
mv. 'lell lue \i\\ itamr, and tite mit mooitmt I
will en to him, and a^^ti ' ' '.'mt tny comcit
feluiil confinn bolh youi

,Um Hnr. \on wili ,,,-,,1 ■' '■■"■ Sml

»«hfM V'lti have, pray (t:ll liiiii hnv. ■\ »

fur n yonn:* ^^onmn to speak o^rt nm

to spore my bludtea, and ti. »o

terrible 11 siiuatioii. [ •^hatl 1 mh

— and hope ibatiiti* itril.-inition wiil make itW
pobiihle lor yon to mif-mLr me any lonter.

[lUttlilCT it f^niiip, hut. Ufntn trt^tng VoeM

C'la< kiT, rtittatnt u/ton thf ttat_c.

Hear$. Ar« tvo not bIum? Ulinl eaa ih*

mean i [^Uufc.

Youn^ Cta. A-frapoiy fkitli ! bera fhey aire t«-

getlier !

Heart. I ilid not »ec biin ; but oow ibc r^
die's esptaincd. M**^'

jWiJn Hir. What ran be wnnt novrr — ^Ttei>
tl«: niuM f-iolt ful iiiierrup(ioo ! | Jwi^c

Yottttfi Vtu. By your leave, Mr Ilcnnly— —
[Oo»f» htm lofio to lUn.] — Hn^e I i-nii-itt jm
al last, my divtiic Harriet ! Well, Mr llrvtli.
fainfactni — llul what's thomaltrr? bo! Thii^
look u little ^looiuy hcK! : Oih* innitm to Iub*
"ilf, and civpi me no antMcr; atid tIte otl>«
lirnis the head, nitd winks at me. Ilnw the it-
vil «m I 10 iiitcrprer all lliiiP

Mint Har. I winii nt you. sir ! Dtd 1, wai
l'""w/f C7o. Yr", V" _■■ ^ ■ •:'—

Mr lleaitiv, for lit""-. - ■>»'

Speak, 1 conjure you, ^5 ,<. tuv it m iUi wi*
me ?

Mist Hew, Wlml a dreadful sitDatign 1 M

BRITISH DRAMA.

YouHg CIo. Hope Tor Uic beat; I'll bring innt-
tcr» ahoui, ! warninl ytiu.

lltaif. Vim linve IxJtli of v^u gm( rensoii lo
lie Miiftfacd -Xv/lhiog blialf uppu6c }-mir iLip-
pincM.

Yamttg Cla. Dnito, Mr Ilcnrtly !

Hcatt. Mii& Ilurni-tS will i» a Inw to mc ;
ftoil fur lyuu, sir — ilic l'nciul»!up uliiiti 1 Imie
ever prul'ck>cd I'ur yuat uank-f i* Uto hiucens iiot
to cu*! t MMitu ol' li u|iiiii tliiv ticcasioii.

I ilia Bur, 1 iball iltc mth coufubiuu !

YouMg CAi. I aiu itUvo aguti. Di-nr Mr llcart*
ly, thou art a (iio^t nHorablc crcnliirc 1 Wlmi tt
JisppiocM it is to luivc lu Uit uiiU n nian <;]'
sca<M*» who has uo l'>uli»li prejudices, and cun m.^
wfirn a joung fcUow tuis soiuctluiig toicriible
■bout liiin !

Hrurt. Sir, not to llutlrr yuu, I mutt declare,
lluit It [* rrotii n kmiwled^c of your tVicrui* nnd
toinily, tluii I tune hiini-s of !tu'iiit;yuu :iiid thi>
TouD£ Udjr hn|>p>. 1 will go directly to juur
oncle. niiH uuurt; hiin tlnil picry tliiiig giKM> itn m
our w»lir4^ [Ooiag.

Miu Uar. Mr lleartly — Pray, ur !

Heart. Poor ^^is^ lliirrltt, I see ^-our distress,
and MH iNirrj f'>r it : Imt it iii»bt bv RUt uvcr. and
ihe toAtwx the better- Mr Clackii, a\y dciir,
mil be glad nf an n|inortu/iity tu cniertaiu vm,
fijT thtf liltic timr 1 anull be libsctit. Pour jlisa
Uvtict I [SniHiag.

[Rrit IIljkt.
I Younp CIo. AUc:, affiz, Htotnirur ! I'll aiiswfr
*tat tint. Wcl), niiKlnin, I think rvrry llnii^ *iw-
caadl to our wi^liLt. 11l' siiicL-rr, my niiornbl)' !
'^Dod'i you tJiiiik yuurKli a ttry bapjiy youiig
lady?

Mia Unr, 1 shitll be most purticutiirly ubli^etl
to you, %\r, if yim ^«oiild iafurui ine wluit is the
tDmiiiiig nfall lhi«?

I'uuN^ Ctit. liifonn yoa, iui»a ! the ntaltrr, I
bcbrre. i> prcttv clear: our frirnds Jiavc under-
<' -Av hare aficclinnd — oud n tnarriago

I Ai.'i iiur. M.irrlacc, sir! Pmy, what relation,
■r partiouliir cKMiufctiua, i» itivrr bt-tMecu y»u
bd mc, ur ?

1^ )'<»iiii^ (V/i. I may be deceived, failli; but
mpua lUY hunnur. I alwaya suppost d iJuiL thvrc-
waa a utile uuauvniig uf inditiuiiun betwccu

L A/is« Hnr. And linvt' yuii spoke to my guur-
BBn upiin lti)« sup^xitiiliuii, ftir?
r ^'cMTM^ Ch. And life v'^u nngry nt it ? I lie-
^«e ii«)t. — [Smiling,] — (.'ume, coiuc ; 1 Inlievr
tooC Ti* didicati: in jou tu be U|kjii tht rc-

J/ut Hiir. Titdced, sir, thi» bchnviour of ynan
t ttntat rtlni'irilniarv !

Mfi^ I V«. Couit, cuiiic, my dr nr, don't c orry

lfK> fur; i troppu tiuiwn mia Cmiuuma

at the doit, whru ivLry thing i^ ogrcxd \\\i-

on, aod uncles and guardianc^ and such folks,
have gircH their conscni, why contiuue tlit hypo*
crisv?

3/iAt Jliir. 'Iticy umv have cotiwoted for voti ;
bill I am inisirtsi uf my nircctioit<), nnd Mill iie-
wr diapobc tif tlicu) by proxy.

Yxmng^ i'.ln. Ipon uiy miuI, thif i^ very dmil !
nluii, lias nut yuur Igimrdian been here thi& too*
uiciil, and mprLiAed all itirauinuble pleasure at
our inlettdcd nniun ?

Mm llnr. Uu is in an crrari mr: aod had I
not bc(.'u iix^ m'jt'h ahloot^hed at your behaviour^
I had undeceived him long beture itow.

Yumtii CU. [HHinmitii: a liiRe,\ — But, pray

mtu, tu rt-ium tii bu^iiir^^ Wluit i-an be

your intcuiioM tn raising all this confu-^iiin in tha
family, nnd upp^nint; yuur uwii inctiimtiuns i

Htw liar. Op|i<i!4iig my otrn Hit'linatiuiis ^irl

I'vuHfi CUi. Ay, t){>ff<>3mg your own incliim-
ttniis Hiadain. lio you kit-jw, child, if you cur-
rv un ijii.<< I'arcr any luii<;er, I khall bi^in tu be a
iriitc aiisi'V.'

il/w liar. I would wish it, air ; far, be asm-
red, tluit I iicvei- iu oiy life bad tlic least thought
about you.

Yiinnf Cla. W(»rd«, word*, wnnl*

Alits Har. 'lis n)U!it sincerely aiul literally
true.

Young Ciu. Come, como; I know what I
knuw —

il/i'it Hai*. Dan*t luake yourself ridiculous, Mr
Clm:kit.

Yvung Cla. Don't mako yourwlf iDiAcrnblr,
Miss llHrnct,

Jlfui liar. I am only so vrhea you pcraiM, to
torment me.

Young eta, \Simlinp,'\ — Aod you really ho-
licvf! that you don't lo%x tad

!\tiu liar. P(»it)F«;lv nut.

Yuunf" Clit. \CvMCctleilf}f-^ — And you tire very
sure, liovr, tliiit you lialc incr

^tm Har. Oh ! ni<i9t curdiallv.

Young Cla. Poor yoiiug lady \ I do pity you,
from my touL

Jl/m rinr. Then why won't too Icnve me?

YouHg Cia. ' She nc\<T told licr lotc,

* But let umcuilmcut, like a worm

i* th* bud,

* Feed on Iht dflum^l citeek.*
Tiike waroini!, mi)>fe, when you once bo^iii In pine
in thought, 'la all uvcr uith yon ; and Iw a^t'i-
red, sinr-e vnu are ohsuuiitciv la:iit t/i kitc your-
self airs, iJiat, ii you uace suSt^r nic to tcai-e this
bim» ill II pfl — do yon mind me? nut all your
hiuhiii^, w'hntiti^, lit*,V3f>0(ir&, uiid hy^tcric-K sliull
ever uu>te iilc lu lAke the least contptusion on
you — Coute qui rttutc.

Enter Iti A&tiv and Br H Cn.\«i.Es.

.Sir Cfia. 1 am uvcr'iiiyeil to liear it : — Tbert
ibcv are, ihi' prtitv dute^ ! Thiii i» tho acC|
ntiglibour Uenrlty, tor Impptocsb otid pleaMra!

BRITISH DRAMA

[GARBTCfC.

Heart, I tan willing, tqu see, to lose nu time :
■which may oinvinn^ vtm. sir Charlr^, lum jiroud
I wit oflliift iiliiHiice in tiur families.

Sr CAo. Thr thoii^hi of it rejoice^ me !

Gftdt I wilt Mixf far iiie (Mldlc;.s, Biid take sHiinL'e
iDvsrir, and a bg for ti\e ^^uut tiiiH rhoumiitMin.

~— Btit ItotJ. bolil ! ilic lovers, racihinki, are

atitUe oat of liuinour with each other — What i»
tl>e mutter, Jiick t Not pouting iurc, befutt;

JVUT tilDC ?

Young Cia. A iriae, sir the lady wilt tell

kjou. [ffumiu tunc.

1 Htart. You »eeni fo be troubled, Uoriiet? —
r What can chi& tnenn t

Miu Har. Vuu have beea ui an error, Mr,
I ahoiii me. — I did not utidecnve you, bcirnuse I
I could Qot iiu«|pii« that itie consequences could
I bave been «> --rriutii. and «J midden : — Bnt I am
I now forcfd tit K-tl von, thai y<»u have misunder-
stood luc — thnt vou hn*T di5trc<Uied me

^ Heart. How, my dear ?

Sir Cha. W hat do vou soy, Miss ?
Yoang Ch. Mademoiselle is pleased to he oat
of humour: hat 1 can't blame ber; for, upon
my luiitour, 1 ttiiuk a lilUe coqucltry becoute^
her,

Sir Cha. Ay, nv, ay,— Oh, ho ?— Is thai all >
ThcM* little K|uall9 selHcjtii nvcrM't ihc lu>cr'»

boat, hut drive it faster to port— Ay, ay. ay !

Ucari. Doa't be \uieziy, my deni , tlmi you have
declared vour poMion.— Re eitii<ii!tlent now, lest
jon ftlmuld be rhoueht capricious.

YoHHg Cla. Talk to her a litile, Mr Ilenrtly :
the ii a 6nk lady, nuU btu many virtue« ; but
8ba doe* not know the world.

Sir Cha. Cotne, come ; you most be frienils a-
gain, my cliildren.

Mint Har. 1 bepyoij leave me nlone, air.
Heart. For Heaven's sukc^ Mist IliLrriet, ck-
ptain this riddle to me !

hi'ua liar. 1 cannot, sir — I have dbcorered
the prvokncM of my heart, 1 hare discovered ii
to you, sir. — But vuur unkind iiiterprctalion*!. uiid
reproachful looks convntrc me, thai I tiave al-
ttndy md but too iiinch.<— [Kxit Harriet.

[ill ARTl.Y mUWJ.

Str Cha. Well, bot harlc'e, nepliew — This is

ffoini; n liltfe too for. What hnvs you done tu

lier ^

Heart. I never saw her so much mored before !

Young Cla. Upon my soul, e^ntleinen, I am as

much Kuqtrised at it as you can be : The

little bruHtttrrie betweui us, aruse u)h)u her prr-
ststJnp that there was no passion, no pcocnaiit
between us.

Sir Cha. ni tell TOO what. Jack there is

a rertaiQ kiod of impudence about you, that
I don't approve of; and, were I a youttc uirl,
thoK cOKCutuical airs of youn wiiuld surfeit hip.

Ytntng Cla. But as the yuunf^ ladies are mtc
quite SO »queami!.h aa yna, uncle, I I'luirj ihcv
will choose IDC at I am. Ila, hu ! Bui what cnii

9

the lady object to ? I have offcrrd m marry her *,
is no! tlini !i proof ftulficjent thai I liU* brr? A
youiifc fclltiw Qiust haw Mmc alTcctioD thut will
pt III Mich UngllK to inilnlee it. Ha, lis !

-Sir Cho. Why, irsilly. I'rieud Hmrtly, I duo't
tee liOH a vuun|i muti rau well do mure, or a la-
dy debire more. Whtix 5ay you, nciehbour?

Urnrt. iJpon my word, 1 am ponied about it.
My thoughts upon the mnlirr are so varioas. and

so cuQtusrd cvcrv ihinji I see and hear U so

contnidictory — is so — She certaiuly canooC like
any body cl*e ?

ruling Cla. No, no : I'll answer for that.

Hrart. Or »he tnny be fearful, then, that yoor
pa^sinn for her is nut Mncere; or, like other
Yount> men of the times, you may grow cardas
upon marriiiflc, and ncelect \wt.

Young Clu. Ha ! ejtnd. you Imve h't it! WV
tbmg hut a litite uatuiiil dciicate sciiiibihtv —

[i/bwi a tvuf.

Heart. If so, perhaps the violmce of her re-
proaclicB may proceed Irdm the lakewarmncak of
jour pnifcsiions.

YoHng Clit. Je Tov$ AnHmde partha-~l hm
sw«.ni to her a hundred and a hundred
tliar site shottid be the Itappicst of her set.
tlirre is nothing siirpriMnp> in all this ; it
miMTv of nn nvcrfund iR-jirt, tu be always douU-
ful (it its happiness.

Hrart. And if she marrifb thee. I fear thai
t.lie'11 be kept in a state of doubt at loit^ as 4»
lives. [iJd/rdn*.

Enter Lucy.

I.nof. Pray, ^nilcmen, wliat A the mMit
amon^ ywu ' And uhirh of you has mXtmMi b^
itiiolress ' Sht- ts in a most prodieiout talun^ nah
der, and >hv vows to rt^tuin mui the roatOj
agntu — I can get nothint; but sij:h3 from her.

YtfUng Clit. poor thing !

iMiy. Puur thing ! I'he rictil ukr thi^ lore. I

9IIY ! 'Ilicre's more rout about it than '&

w aril I.

Young CIa. 1 beg yonr pankm for llmt, Mrs
Abicail.

Heart. I must in<|nire farther into this; l»«f
behaviour is tou particular fur me uut tu Lrie*
turb^-d at it.

Lucy. She desires w itb the leave of thete «►*■
ticnten, that, wlien ^e has recovered benelf, tte
may talk with you nlune, air.

[rnnuit.

Heart, I shall with pleasure attend her.

ifJT/Ltxf.
^la.li'

Sir Cfta. I wnttM leivr, old as I atii,aiiistfv
arm, t» be beloved by tJiut bwcct creaumisfM
are. Jack !

Yovng eta. Aofi throw your cout and rfin-
mariKm into tlie bargain, uuck ! lia,ba) I^<**
Bacchui, Ac. Ijk, 111, la, Ac. [S«|*

Garrick.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

245

I

S«r Cte. What (he plafrne sre fou quavering
at \ Tliou hut no more feelinji; fur thy tupplneM
than luv stick, here.

FotfK^ CU. I bef your pardou for clitit, mjr
dear uncle.

[Takea ottt a pocket hmkinf^'^fais.

Sir CA«. I wtiiider what the devii ts c une to
the vouii^ felluws ul' (hi5 ^e, orij^htirjur lleiin-
ly? Whj(. a line wimtan has no effect upon them

U there nn meihoH tn make ihrm le$» fond

of thrauclvcft, mod nuire mindful of tho ladies?

Heart. ( knot^ but of noc, Mr CImrlei,

Sir VJta. At; what's that?

Heart. Wby, to break all tlic lookuig-gta«sc»
in Ae kti^dom.

[Pointing io Youirc Ct,*.

Sir Ckc Ay, ay; they are sudi fiips^ so taken
op «rtdi tfaeBuelT«s] Zounds, when I was young,
aiMi in love

Young Cia. You were a prodi^ous finit sight,
la be sure !

Baui. LrtokV, Mr Clackit, if Miss Harriet's
afflictions drclare for ynii^ ttht.* muU nnt hv (rout-
ed with neglect ur fiiiwliun — N"r cuuld I Iwar it.
sir. Any man ixiu5t be |>rnud of her piutiitlity U>
btm; and he mnw be fa<>hianf(bly in>seii»ilile, iiH
<leed. who would nut make it hi» darling ctvrc to
defcad, from every inquietude, the most delicate
and tender ot' her «».

Sir Cka. MiMt nobly and wannly ftaJd, Mr
lieartJy ! Go to her, nephcu'. directly. Throw
voorvelf at her feet, and swear how much her
beauty axul rirtuc Itave captivatcil you, and don't

let her go till yoa bare set her dear little hetit
at rest. ,

Teuag Cla. I mu«t desire ta be tdtcused.— *
Would you have mc >ay tlie same thiiig overaadl*
over again } I can't do it, positively. It \% mj *\
turn to l»c pitied, now.

SirCfta. Daino your conceit, Jack! I«aa bear^
it no longer.

Htarl. I am very sorry to fiud lliot any young 'I
lady, 9o near and drar to me, sliould bet^tow bor ,
heart where there is m> tittle pro«pert of its b&*' '
ing valued a& it ought. Howercr, I shall nocop*
pose my authority to her luclLnatioiu ; and to--*'
Who waits tlierc ?

Enter Servant.
Let the yfun^ Indr know that 1 ehalt attmd her
commaiirU in llic hlirary. — [Erit tfcreon/.}— Will
you exi'U&e me, gentlcincn?

Sir Cha, Ay, ay; wt'll kave yna to yoDi^
selves; and pray convince btr, tnut I and ny
nephew ore, moat smcei'ely, her lery huiuMc ser-
vants.

Young CU. O yea ; you may depend upoa
toe.

Heart. A very slender drpciidenoe, truly !

[Aii^. Erit,

Yuung CU. Well be with you again, to kixnr
what your t^te-a-t^te produces ; and, in the
mean time, 1 am h<r»-— and yours — -adieu — •
Come, uncle. Fal, lal, la, la !

Sir Cha. I cotJd knock him down witft pica*
sure. [Atiict

{EtauU,

SCaVE I.

FKntfr Hr.*nTi.T, ipeaking to a Sa'tuM*
Htart. TcLL MiM Harriet that I am here. If
■he I* induposed, I will wait upun her in her own
rnom. [£nf Sereant.] However myiicnous her
eonduci aupeara to mc, yet still it )» tu be dcry-
phervd. This young gentleman has certainly
touched her. Inere are Muie objeetionti tu bim,
•bd amntiK w many yuung men of fashion that
f»U in bcr way, she certainly mipht ha«-D made a
better choice. She lias an uuderstnudinje to
beaeiuible of this : and, if 1 am nut mistaken, it
is a airtigfjlc between her reason and her passion
iJaU DOcaaions all Chia uuifwuoa. But here she

ACT n.

I

Enltr Mfsi Habrikt.

Mtim Hnr. I Itopc v'Mi arc not anery, sir, that
E larft jrou M> abruptly Miihout aiukiiiK uuy upolo

gjrf

IB*mrt. I am angry that you think an apology
■MOBMUj. The matter ne were upon wo* of

!wch a delicate nature, that I was mure picasnf j
with your cuiifuMon, Uian I shosld [lave bee*
widi your cicuaea. You'll pardou nic, my

dear.

Miu Har. I have reflected, that the per«na
fur wtioin 1 have conceited n roo^t leader re-
cord, may, from the wisest motives dt»ul»t of my
passion; iiikI, therefore, 1 would cndcavuur la
annwcr all his objections, and cooviuce luiu how
descrv in'4 he is of my highest esteem.

Htarl. I have not vet apprclimdcd what kind
of dispute could nnsc between yuu and Mr
('lackit : I Mould adviikc you both to come to a
rttConcilrMtou a* *oon ms possible. Thf law of
nature i» an ini(M'ni>ii^ onr^ nnd cauiuic, Uka
ilxiGe of our cuuotry, be cnuly omdnl ; and
tliongh reason may auinjCffti «onia diuigreeable
reflcrtinns vet when tlic MTokc is to be given,
wc must submit to it.

Miu Har. He »till coutinues in Ilia error, and
I cannot undeceive him. [/tWe.

Heart. --^1) 1 take ihe liberty of telling you,
my dear. \Tiiking herh«nd.\ Vou treiubJc, flar-
ncl ! W hiU IS tlic matter with you i

ua

BRIT15U J)RiVMA,

[Gabaick*

Jt/iu Har. NoUiing, air. PrHy, go au.
Heart. I eucs-i wlu-ncr proctfiLs all yourunca-
^tinc!d. Y'»i Icur [li;il tttc world will not be ho
I reutlily convinced ot' thU yoiiriii gcntleinan'tt me-
Lrit WA vou arc: and, indt-vd, I could wi^li htm
on deserving nt yoti ; but your rcgnrd lor him
_ lum a laehc he otherwise wniild hsre
' wanted, and almost makut nw blind to tuB fail-
lugs.

Mia liar. Aud would you advtsc me, sir, to
ruaLc choice of this fientternan ?

Heart. I would advise you, as I alivnys hare
done, lo Lunsult youi' own heart upon such an
occasion.

Utits Har. If that h your ailvicc, I will unist

rcligioiihly folloM it; and, fnr the last liinc, I am

I ntoivcd lo riiscoTcr my real sentjiocnts; hut, an

• confi-MJon iif lhi» kind will nut huronic nic, t
have bt'cn thiciliug of aoiuc innocent slratagciu
to spare Hiy blushes, and in port lo relieve mt-
fmin thp »lmme uf n doclnrution. Alij^hl I he
permitted to write lo liim ?

Heart. I think you may, my dcnr, without the
IcflAt ulfcnce to your delicacy ! And, indeed, vou
nn^iht to explain yourM-lf ; your late miaundcr-
ttntidiiiK makes it ahsoUitt-ly necessary.

Miss Har. V^'jU you be kind citiiugli to assist
nc? Will you writ^ for nic, Mr?

Heart. Ult, mo»t willingly! And ns I ain
in:ide a imrty, it will remove all ohjections.

j1/iii ihir. I uill dictate tu you in ihc 1)c»t
taunner I am able. [Sighing.

}lrart. Anil here is pen, ink, and paper, to
obey ynnr cijniinand!t. [ Drrm'i the tiible.

Afist Har. Lord, how my heart bcat«> ! I fcnr
I numol go through it. [.^<ir/r.

Heart. Now, njy deiir, 1 am r«idy. Don't Ik;
distnrbetl. lie is certainly n niiui of family :
and though he has some liille fniihs time, and
your virtues will correct tlwm. Come, what
•hall I wr'ile? [Preparing to xtritc.

Mils Htir. Pray, f^wc me n niumcnt's thought.
Tis tttcrnhlr lask, Mr lleartlv.

Heart. I Ln<i>T ii i*. Pon^ hurry yourseirr
I shall wait with patience. Come, Mian IlHf
net

Miss Har. [Dictating.] It is in vaiti fnr mc

• lo cunrrat, fnim oni' uf^our nndcrsiniiding, the
•secrets of my heart.

Heart. 'The secrets of my licart.'

[IVritmg;.

Jlftu Har. 'Thou[!hyourkuiiiitiiy and mudtir-
' Cy will not sulTcr it to [•crceivc it.*

Heart. Dii you tliinl:, roy diiir, that lie is
much tro<jbU:d witti tli-iM: <iutilitics?

Ativi Har. Pray indulge roc, sJi".

Heart. I Ih-j v'>ur [lardon — ' Vour humifity

• nitd mudcsiy will not suffer you uj perceive iC
[Write,.] So.

Mitt Har. ' F.vcry tlimg telU yoi^ tluit it is
•you thfcl I lo^'c.'

Heart, Very well. [Il>i(«.

Mia Har. Yes: lou dial I lure; tlo you qd-
dcrstaiid me?

Heart. O, yes. Yd \ I underBUiid you — that
it h YOU Uuit 1 love. This is very plain, my
dear.

Miis Har. 1 would have ii to. * .And ihooKh
' I am nlrr.idy bound m gratitude lo vou*

Hrari. Ill gratitude to .Mr Claclut)

Mm liar. Pray, write, air.

Heart. Well — * Jnf;ralitude to you. [irfjVft]
I must write what site wonld have mc.

[Jtid<.

Mitt Har. ' Yet my pftHion a a most duio-
' Icrestcd one.'

Hrtirf. ' Mo^t disintrrcslnd ooe.* [IFrifo.

jl/'tf Har. * And to convince you, itiat you
owe much more rn my affection^' ■

Heart. And, then ?

MiMs Hfir. ' I could wish iliat I Uod iwt et*
' jwiiieuccd'—

Heart. Stay, stay ; ' Had noC experienced*—

[n'rUtt.

Miti Har. ' Your tender cmc of me in my
* infancy '

Heart, f Dij(»trfcc*/.J Wluil did you 9*y? OiJ
I ht'iir richt, or am I lu u dream I [.■lade.

Miu Har. Wliy Iiavc I declared mysclT^
He'll hate we for my folly.

[MiJc

Heart. Harriet !

Mui Hur. ."^ir !

Hairt. To whom do yon niiie this Icuft?

Mifx Har. To to Mr Clackit

is it not ?

Heart. You must not mention then Ibo cars
ot your infniicy; it would be riitieulou:!.

Mtn Har, it would inilecd; 1 owu It; it 11
imp roper.

Heart. What, did it escape you iii your ow-
fuaion ?

i1/iii Har. It did, indeed.

Hruit. What nmsl 1 put in its place?

Mist Hur. Indeed, 1 don't know. I hatt
Miid mure tliau enon^i to nuikc myself vxMcf

StDod.

Heart. Tlicn, HI only fiiii&h your letter miili
the u^iial ctimulimeni, and ^elul it auay.

Mitt Hur. Vt's; send it away ; if you Uuukl
ou};ht to Head it.

Htiut. [Ti oMrtU] O^i^ht (o senil it! VTlio'i
there ?

Enter a Strrottt.

Carry this letter.

[An iu-tiun eie/if*ri from llilKiIiT, «|^tf
hinder the tntJittg t/tc fetter.^
1% it not for .MrClmkil?

Miss Har. [t'tnii/ttif.] Wliu can it be fnr?
Heart. [To the ticiunt.] l\vn\ ukc lh» Id-,
ur to .Mr LlacWil. [Giicha Uttcr^

[ExiiSen*'!'

Oarrick.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

247

»

Afiif Har. What a terriUc wiuatjon !

Hrart. I am ihundcritnick ' f.lin/i'.

Aiiu Bar. 1 canuot speak nnuilier wonl.

[AtiJe.

Tfrnrt. My pnidi'iirc fails iiic ! [Atide.

Milt Uur. He di'taiiprures my passion, nixl I

thall die with cuufuatun ! [Atidr.

Enter Lcct.

iMcy* The coiivenatioti is OT«r, and 1 may
appear, [ifnrfr.l Sir Charles is without, sir, and
ia irepaOriit tu Know yimr dulcrmituitiun. M»y
be br permined to tee you f

Hrart. [vIjm/t.J I must retire to conoeni my
we«kii«i. f Eri/.

lM€y. Upon my word, this is very whim^iciil !
'^t i» the reason, niivs, thnl your piiardinn i&
awnv wiihrtiii i^rtitm me mi annwej-?
Hu Har. \Vh.ir a conicmpt lie uiusL Uavc for
me, to behave in this manner !

[Erit.

hue^. Extremely well tlus, mid cquiilly fnul-
wh, on both side*- ! But wimt ciin l»c the meaning
ofit^ llo, ho, I think I hnve n glimmerinc at
lasr. Suppose «l)e shnitkl not liLc young Shntler-
brain» after nil ; nnd, indeed, she has neter al>!io-
]utelr»aid she did; who knows but ^he ha.s at
iiprned her mind to mv|»iHid miiMer, niid hf-,
_Jiii^ her ia4le fliVe ihnt of other girls ni hrr
agV) moit puiieiilnriy rtdirnUiiis, has not been so
camptabant ns he used in be. U'h-it u ajmnic it
» tnal I don't ktiow more of ihis matter, a
wend* of jpirit n^ [ am, a favourite of nir nufr'
Ireaf. aud as inqnUitivc as I oii<;l)t to br ! It it
•a a^&vmt to my char.\cter, and I inuj.t haic »n-
difactioM immcdiutclv- [Goi'i^] I will (j^o di>
reelJy to ray toube mistress; tenw her to deiilh,
till I am at tlie bottmn of lliis; and if thrcntcn-
tiie, soothini;, sci'ldint^, whiiiipcnui^, crvin^, and
lywtg, Vftll iHii prevail, 1 will c'cn gtic her v^arii-
iag, and go upon iJie stage. [£rjr.

J^KfrrlluaTLT.

Heart. The more I reflcet upon what has passed,
the more I am convinn rl llmt she did not iiiTond
writing to thu young fellow. What urn tu I think
of it, ttieo > Let » man he ever so mtirh upon lu-.
pnrd oeninst the approaches of \'Bn)ty, yet he
wilt find himself wnik in ihatouarter. Had not
mv muoit made a little sianti ojjaiiibt niv pre-
Armpcinn, I misht hare inrerprttcJ some ot" Hui-
riet's word» in iny own favour; hut— I may well
btakli, though alnno, at my extravagant folly ! —
Call it he pos^ble that bo young a creature
uld ocn ra<il » thuu[:ht of that kind upon
Upon mr \ F'resunipliious vanity !— No,
■a; I wilt do her and royscif the jutiicc to oc-
kaowled^, tliat, fur a lery few slight Hppenran-

hu

■ me,*

Z
nh.'

of ii

lasr.

K brai

k

e«S there are a thousand rcasoiu that destroy bo
ridiculous a sup]>osiiioD.

Knler Sia Ciiaklcs.

Sir Cka. W«U, Mr llcnrtly, wliot arc we to
hope for?

Heart. Upon my word, blr, I am still iu tha
cinrk ; wc puzzio abont, indeed^ hut we don't get
forward.

Sir Cha. WImt the devil is the meaiiin]; of iilt
this? There never sure were lovers »o dittiuulc
to briiit; tt>t<eih(T. tint have you not been a lit-
tle too rougli witli the Imlv? ri>r as I parsed by
her bnt now, she seemed a little out ol humour;
»iut, iip«in my fuilh, mit the less beautiful for a
little priiitiiii^

Itf'iri. Ujwn my word, mt Charks, -what I
can collect Irom her liehnviour is, that your no
plicw ih not M> much in Iwr good grac-cs as he
mode vou belieie.

.Sir t'hft. 'i'^d. like enough. Out, hold, hold !
(his must be looked n little mto : If it is m, I
would be glad to kiioiv, nhv, and wherefore, I
have been made •to ridiruhiui. \Lh, M r I^icartly,
docs he lake me for bin fool, his bcnst, his Mer-
ry Andrew ? By the lord Harry' - —

Hcnrt. In hun, a little vanity ij Ckcusablc.

^r C'Aa, I am his vanity's huuibic servant for
that, ihoiigh.

Heart, lie ii of an age, sir Charles.

Sir Chit. At, of an inte to be very inijivrti-
ncnl; but 1 ^liall dcurc lum to ho less free with
his uncle for the future, 1 assure him.

Hittfr Lt. c V.

Lucy. I luiTc it, I have it, I'L-ntlemcii ! Yoa
need not pirodc any more ahimt llie matter, I
have fot the srcnrL 1 knuw the knigbt-crrant
that lias wounded our distressed lady.

S$rCha. Well, and who, and what, chiUl?

Luty. What, has uul ^le tuld you, sir !

['i» IlSAaTLY.

Jfrart. Not directly.

l,acv- ^> miirh the better. What piramrc it
is to dWovcr a secret, aud then tell it to ad iJui
world ! I pressed ber so much, that ^ic at last
ronft»(<ii>d.

Sir C/ta. Well, what?

J.ucy. That, in titc 6nt place, she did not Itk6
your m*|>liew.

Sir Cha. And I told Uic pupfty so.

Lury. 'I'hbt ^shc bad n mu<it mortal antipathy
for die yonne niro of this n^e ; aod thai alic bad
settled her atfci-tion^ uponuuc of riper years, and
riper un<lcr%T.indiiig.

Sir Ota. Indeed *

I^cy, And that she etperted fnim a lover in
his autumn, more oflecuon, more compluiMince,
more constancy, and more disctctiua ut ouurte.

Heart. This IS very particular.

fi4ft

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Garrick.

Sir CAa. Av, but it U very prudent for nil that.

Lury. la short, us •■\ye hud openly tkt-liircd
again&t the ncplKw, I touV upou lue to ijieuk i>l
I bis uncle.

&r Cka. Of mc, child ?

Xm-y. Yci, of jruu, »if- — -And ahe did not
My nic nov, tut cast ludi a look, and Ictclicd
•ocli ■ MKn, that if eter I looked imd i^bcd in
■i;r lifei I know bnw it i-i with Wr.

Sir i' ha. Whut die d(nl! Why, sttrcW— Kh,
Lucy? You jolce fnr nitain. Mr lit-artU ! Eh?

Lun/. Indeed I d>j ni>r, sir. 'I'wait in vnin fnr ni«

. tu «aT, that nothing cuuld be mi rtdiculous m auch

hchoioe. Nay, sir. I wfiH a little fartlter (y..u*lt

excuse me), tuid told h«r (mkmj Oud, uindam !

■nid I, why, lie is old and Ruuty, aatbiruitjc, rbcu-
^ inauc, KuitH;, f^ci-ii'auc — It siguitied notbini^ ;
I fthc Imd dctennined.

Str C'Ad. But yuu nc«d not have h>ld hrx all
'ihaL

Htdft. I am f»rnH]iidcd, sir Charles, thnt n
good heart mid a i;iKid iniml will previiil iiiurt*
with iliat yoiin^ lady, than Uie more fashioiuibic
accinn phsl I me II iv
.- Sir Cha, ni It'll ynu wlint, netshUiiir, 1 have
I lud my day*, and h&t c been well rtcen t-d nniuni:
the lailies I hii«e. lint, in truth, I am mtlicr in
my winter, than my autnma ; she inuit nu'xn
•moebfidy el»e. Nuw [ think again, it can't bc
ine. No, nil : it can't be nie.

Lucy. But I tt'lt you it is, sir. You are the
man. Her biars havt* diK:ret-d it ; njid wliiit they
decree, tliough ercr so ridiculouft, inuBt conie tu
pau.

Sir Cluu Say vou ao? Why, then, monsieur
m^hew, I ftball have a little lau^h with you, ha,
ha, ha ! The tid bit is nnt fur vm, niy nice sir.
Your hetturs inuiit be wrsrd liefure yoiL Ftiit
liere he curnes. Not a word for your life. Well
lau|>li at him tno»C triuutpfatuitly, ba, i»\ but
mum, mucn.

Enter Yochc Clackit. Mtuic plays

trilhuut.

Young Cfa. That tvill do tnott divinely well !
Braro, bravn, mcs'oeun> VoibI and In^trll^tco(Hl !
Slay in tliat chamber, lUid I uill let mju know the
time I'nr your appearaute. [To the mitiit-iiiHi.] —
Aletitinjr, by mxident, »ilh miiiic artists of the
tirins, and my partiriilnr frictidit, I lia%-t: hmu^ht
thpm to celebrate Miu Hiirriet'» and my ap-
pnincliin^ hnjipiuess. [To Hcantit.

Sir Cha. Du yon hear the puppy? [Ta LucT.

Heart. It is tinio lo dear up all mistaken.

•Sir ('A«. Now for it.

Uevrt. Miu Harriet, sir, was not destined far
you.

Young i'.ta. What do you any, sir?

Heart. Thnt the ynuDg lady baa fixed her af-
fcctioos upon another !

Youfig Cltt, Upon onoifiet ?

Sir LfuL. Ye«, »r, wtotbrr t Tttat is Kii|^i»li.
»ir; and yuu may translate it imo French, if you
like It beiuT.

\'uuiig C'ia. I'out ite* hitn tiroJe^ mon oncic/—
I 111, tui !

Sir (ha. hj% ay* aJtow your cectfa ; you faaie
iiutliint; ctsu lur it. But slie h>i &mk1 bcr hcan
upon another, I tell you.

lentil^ CUu Ycry well, sir; extremely well.

Sir Cm. And that other, ur, i& ouc to wluim
you owe K>^at respect.

Kmch i.ta. J am his most resftcctful humbit:
liert'Biit.

S*r Cha. You are a 6ne youth, uj sweet nc-
pliew, tn tfU me a story of a code and a bull, vi'
you and the yuuue Indy, when you liave tut maie
interest iu bcr tlian llit cuir of Miuciny.

Yuvn/; eta. \$atiUHg,\ But, my dear unrlr.
don't Carry Lhiii je&t i*ki tar—J thail begin tu U
uncoiiy.

Sii Chu. Ayt *y; I know your vamiy: Toe
think now that itie wtrmen arc idl for yoti 701111$
fellows.

Youn^ Cla. Nine hundred and uncty'Dine io
a tI:ouMutd, I bt^lif!ve, uncle: Ha, ha, ha !

Sir Ctiu. You'll make a damned footuh fipne
by and by, Jack !

Yxtung C/a. Whoe\-cr my prvciaus riral w \»
must prepare hiiiiwlf fur a little humililv : tVirbc
he ever so uu)^biy, my dear uncie, I hatV- tint u
my pocket wilt lower his top-sails for hiin.

[^srrAiW hapxiitt*

Sir Cha. Weil, wimt'a ibnl?

YtfUHfc Ciu. A fourteen poiindcr only, my pud
uncle— A letter from llic lady.

[Tuku it omt of kiiptckd.

Sir Chti. What, to yuu ?

Young C/«. I'o ine, sir^— 1^119 mutoeut icuiili
and DirerAiiwtii^ with the tcixlcrest MotiuKfita.

Sir Chti. To vou !

yuiingCla. >)ost undoubtedly. Sbrrepniicks
me Miih inv excessive modcstv. 'there can be v
mistake.

Sir Cha. WImI letter is tliis be chatien about^

[TbllKAanr.

Ueurl. One written bjr me^ and dictascd k^
the young liidy.

Sir Cdii. What ! sent by bcr to hiin>

Heart. I UtM-ie so.

S*r Cha. Well, but then — IIuw the deril***
-^Irs LU17 !— £h !— What beoiine& of jov htt
story?

Luci/. I doti't understand re.

Sir'Cha. Nor I!

Haul, rj/nifo/tn^.l Nor— r» ■

Youag Cla But 1 do ; aud ao you win alt pr
wiitly. Well, my dear uncle, what! are «•
aMuiiislwd, pelrifitd, annihilatiNJ r

Sir Cha. With yuur impudence, Jaci I— B>*
I'll see It out.

Oarrick.]

BRITISH

I

Enter Miss IlAnstrr.

Jlftn Mar. Ble4« me. Mr llcartl; ! whftl U all
this nmic for in the net) room i

Totinff CIa. I hniUfEht tlic gcnttemco of rbc
Miia^ madamraselle, to ciMiriiicp you, ttiat I (etl,

■ft 1 ougbtt the Itunour tou hnw Hone iiic

[^^Ki'n^ tht letttr.] iJut lor Heaven's take, be
KinrLTC a litUe with theM* pfxtil I'ulLs : t)i«^ trll
me here, that I am nutMKfy, and llicre is uiiuther
happier than myxlf; ami for the !>ouI uf mc, I
fifm't know huw to hrlicvc ilit-m, ha, liu, ha !

Sir Cka. Ijct us hear Qti» !<|)enk.

J/rit Hcrr. It i» a most terrible tAsk : but I
am rocnpellcil to it; and to hesitate any longer
ttDuld he iiijiirioua to my f^unnliiui, his friend,
lhi.1 Toun^ centlnnan. mid iny own chiinictcr.

I'omn^ (.-/«. Musi ju*Iid<iu«, upon my siMjI !

Sir Cha. Hold youi tongue. Jack.

yoaar Cta. I nm dumb.

Stitgnar. You have all been in an error. My
bastifuhieu may have deceived you — My licort
Dcvcr did.

Vounp Cla. C«< vraL

Miu Har. Therefore, before I declare my sen-
timeats, it is proper that 1 disavow any enftagc-
tocnt-. Rut at tbe same time must confess—

Ytmn^ Cia. H<>— lio ! —

JfiM Har. ^Vith fear nud Anme confess—

YounfE Cla. Courage, mademouelle /

A/in Har. 1'hut another, not you, sir^ has
gaiocH a power over my bt-urt.

[Tu YoiNt; Clackit.

Sir CAo. Another, not you; mind that, Jack.
Ila,ha!

Jtfiu Har. It is * power, indeed, which he
ilespttM. I cannot be deceived in hi» conducL
Modctty may tie the tongue of our wx, but m<
Icoce IB him could proceed only from contempt.

Sir CAti. Hovr prettily she reproactics me !
But 111 soon make it np with her.

iUai Har. At, to ttiut letter, ^r, yuur emir
there ii excusable; and I own tDyself in that pnr-

ilkitlar a little blamcahle. Uut it was not mv
ftailt that )t oraa Knt to you; and tbe contcni^
amc have told you, that it couid not pos!iih)y be
mtmn for yuu.
[To Yoi:\r,<'r.ArkiT.
Sir C^a. Proof positive, Jack: Say tio more.
Now M ray lime to hepn. Hem ! hem ! — Sweer
younc lady ! — hem ! whose charms tire Mt uiit:hty,
•1 far tmtiKfiidiuc every thin^ that we read of
in hiftlonr nr faVjIc, bow oiuld you poasibly think
lint my ulrnce procet^etl from cunlenpl? W'a«

iN Mitural or prudent, think you, for n man of
«Btj-fi*e, nay, just entering into tin sixtv^sixib
^mr
VrFuncC'la. O JUisericordef What, is my uncle
may rtvnt ! Najt then, 1 shall btirst, by Jupiter !
9U, ha, ha !
Vou III.

iUJM Har, Don't imagine, »ir, ih«, to me,
your nice is any fault.

Sir Chu. [fitMfin^.] You are rery oliligli^
madam.

Miii Har. Neither U it, wr, a ra*rit of Otat
eitniordiiiary nntur«, ihiit I sJiould sacrifice to
it an inclination which I hare oonceircd for ano-
ther.

Sir Cha. How is \\\m}

Vtmng CUt. Another ! not you— mJud tha^
uncle.

l.ury. What is the meaning of all tin* ?

Young Cia. Proof positive, uncl(^— aod very
poMtive.

Sir Cha. I have been led into a misi.ike, ma-
dam, which I hope you will excuse; and I htive
made my»elf very ridiculous, which I hope 1 shall
fuffiet : And so, nmilutn, I am yau'C huinbte sor-
vanr. This yoiine lady has sumethmg very ex-
traordinary' about hiT !

Heart. What I now sec, and the pcmembranco
of what isjpast, force me to break Mirncc.

Young Ctuj Ay, now for it. 1 lear Iiim, h(?nr
him !

Heart. O my Harriett I too moM be dis-
graced in my turn. Can you think that I hntQ
•wen and conversed with you uiimi»vfl i In-
deed I have not. Tlie more I was leu^iblc of
your merit, the stronger were my motives to
ftti^e tile ambition of my heart. But now 1 caii
no longer resist the violence of my pAs.ii.)n, which
casiA ine at your feet, the most unuorthv, in-
rired, of nJi your ailimrers, but of all the most
ufTcct lunate.

Yauag Cln. So, %n ! the moon ha* chonged, and
the grown freiitlemen bepn tu be frisky !

Lucy. What, my master in love, too ! I'll ne-
ver trust lh«c tyc-wij;s B|iain. [Atide,

Mi$t Har. I have refused my hand to hir
Charles and this young ganllcmao : The one nc-
ruMs me of raprirp, the other of sinculnritv.
Shotijld I refuse my hand a Lh«nl time [Smiling],
I mi^ht draw up'm myself a more severe rc-
proBch; und therefore I accept your favour, sr,
aiMi will endeavour to deserve it.

Htart. And thuh I seal my acknowtednmcnts,
nnd fmm henceforth dernte my every iliDUfiht,
aiul all my services to the autlior of my happi-
ness. [A'iucj her hand.

Sir Cha. Well, my dear discrvet nepht-w, are
you aati>itied with tlu; OhiI's part you have givca
mo, and plnved yourMlf, in the farce f

Young CU. What would yuu luivp me say,
^ir ^ I nin too muih a pliilosopher to fret mrst!'*,
t^icrause the wind, which was fail this morning,
is fww west. I1ic poor j^rl, in pique, has kilTed
herself, to l>e reveoiretl on me: but hark ye, sir,
I believe Ileartly will be rur«cd mad lo have n>e

I'vc in his ncighU>urli'n>d. -A word to the

wise — ■ '■

Sir C'A<i. 'iliuu hast a most incorrigible vanity,

«

250

BRITISH DRAMA.

[GrAKRICK.

Jackt and nothing can cnra thee. Mr Heartly,
1 have sense eouuph, and friendship enough, not
to be uneas; at yonr happiness.

Heart. 1 hupe» sir Criarles, that we shall still
eonOnae to live as neighbours and friends. For
yout my tJarnet, words cannot express my won-
der or mj joy; my future conduct must ttU jou

what a sense I hare of my happiness, and bow
much I shall endeavour to deserve it.

For every chann that ever yet blessed yontb,
Accept compliance, tendenwu, and truth ;
My friendiv care shall change to grateful tore,
And the fond husband Mill me Guakdiam prove.

MEN.

LoTBL, « DMii qffathwn.
Frfcmah, kisfntfid.
Philip,

Kl»0tTON, J

Dcke'9 Se«\*»ht.
Sift Harit'sSkrv^vt.
RontRT, sertmnt to FrzchjUI.
FiddUr.

^EN£ T— Jn apsrtnraf in Fbe£wan*8 Aohm.

£l«fc^ Freeman ant/ Lovvl,

Fret. A CocHTmr boy ! ha, ha, ha ! IIow

"•K fa«s this ftclieine lieea in yrtur liciiil ^

ijm, Sotue litnc. [ lun now cunvinred.

of what ymi hnte ot'icn been hiiitiii)> to mc,
*^i I Hitt cult founded ly chaited by my m.-i^

>«c. Oh, are yo« batisrtcd « last, Mr Lovcl ?
I *lwiiys told yoa, thai tbert in not n wurw set
'■f •enaots ui tbc panah uf St Jmncs's, ttuui m
Jwir kitrhcn.

i'T. Ti« mth some dilBculty t bclictc it now,
*' Frfctnaii; iJiooah, I (iiu*t uwn, itiT eipencr*

*«ten moke inc aUrc. Ptiilip, I ain sure 13

**> hune^ Irlluw ; «ih1 [ will swcsr f'T my hliirk\
"^f iticir i« ■ rogue amoii| luy folkiy ti ia Uiat
••ly do( Tom.

Tree, You are mistaken in evtry one. Philip
i* an hyf)ocriljca] ruscul ; 'I'oiu ba^ n k""*' (l<xii
olSurty ItDiH'ity about tiiiii : 3nd fvr youj- blackly 1
thcv Vkn: wt bad n^^ yntir nvliitrit.

Lov. Priitii*, F'recmnn. how rame you to t«
4u well arifuniiitcH wilh mv |)e'i|)lL> } None of tite
wciichf^ »rc tiiitKl»<>tii<> riiuuuhtuniavc the offro
ti.vns of u luiddle-njed gentleman as you urc—
ha, ha, ha !

t'rte. You are a younn man. Mr lyircl, and
lake a pride in a number of idle uniiecfssary ser-
vnnto, w^H» are the plague and rrprootb of this
kiuKdoiii.

Lm. Ctiarlcs, you are an old-faaliioaH fellow.
Srrrntrtv a pUt^uc and repniRTh ! ha, ha, hn ! I
tviMild hare forty more, if lay houM^ would hold
tlicuL Wli», miui, in .i«ioiiica, before I wns ten
yran old, I had a hundred blatkit kisMntEmy feet
cvtTV day.

Frtt. You gentry of die We^iora Ltlca are

fi5e

BRITISH DRAMA.

[GAsnirK.

hi)[h-fncUle<l oow, an<l Inve pomp and parade. — i
I hnvr well it itrlii^ht your nuul, when uic )M;'jple
in lite street have ftiari^ at your equipiifse ; cft-
petially if ilicy whispered loud emtuiili in be
fieurd. Hut i» Mpiirc Luvcl. lUe (^rcal Weitt Lk-
dinn — bn, tui, ha !

Imb. 1 ilwmld lie very anrry ii' we were as
r splenetic nn you ti'mliern idanders who are dt-

vourrd with luelaiicholy and foK ha. ha, ha !

>to, ^ir, we arc rtiildrcn uf Ihe Bun, and are l>orn
to difiuM! the bounteous fnvuur which our nublc
parent i> pleaded to bestow uo us. '

IVfr. I wish yiiQ had more of jour noble
parent's n^ularity, and leu of his tirt. As it i^
you coiiMime so fust, thai not one in twenty of
jou live to be fifty year* old.

Luv. OiiL HI thiu iilty'tvr live two hundred, my

dear; niiirk tiiat Itut to busine^k^ — I aiu

resolved upon roy frolic 1 will know whether

my BPmints are nipucs nr iioL If ihry nrr, I'll
bucinadn the ra&cnW; if not, I thiuL 1 ou|tht to

pay fnr my itnpcrtittence. — =— Pray tell rnr,

14 iMit your Hubert actjiiaiiitt-'d with my ptvple?
Perhaps be may give a httlc ligtit iula the

thine.

Free. To tell you the truth. Mr Lovet, yonr
f<>rvants are bo abandoned, ilmt I linvc forbid

him your bouse. However, if you have a

tntnd la ask him any question, he shall be furih-
cuiuiuK,

Ijct. Let UA have hiia.

i'rer. Vou slialJ ; but it is an hnmlrcd to one
ifyun «ci imy ilitiii: out of liim: fitr tlxntKh in-

is a very hnuL-At ftlluw, yt.-t he is so ninth of u
servant, that Ite'tl never iell uay thin; to the difr-
adrmotagc of aaotbcr. Who waits?

Enter Strmnt.

Send Robert to me. [Exit Servant.] — And what
wfts it determined you upoo tliis project at

lutr

Lffv. This tetter. It is an anonymous onci
and so oujiht not to be ref>Hrdcd ; but it has
mniethiug honest in it, and put Die upon saLs-
fying mj curiosity. Read it.

[Givra the letter.

Tret, I should know eomclhing of this hand —

• To Prrepriue Lovel, e«ci.
' Please ynur hunour,
' 1 lake tlte liberty to acquaint your honour, tliat

* you are sadly clieuted by yi>ur &entinU. — Your

* honour will lind it a« t say — I ant not willinc

* In ho known; whereof, if 1 am, it may brin^

* one into irouhlc.

' So no more, from your homjur's
; Servant to command.'

— fWd and lionem ! Well— and now what are
the blcps you intend to udic }

[iie<«nu the tetter.

Iait. I shall immediately apply to my friend
the :nftna|;er for a dtsKiuw, — Vndcr the fonn <if
a ^awky counlrr boy, I will be an eye-witiie** of
my servinits' bclmi mur.— You nust assist me, Mr
Freeman.

tree. .As how, Mr Ijovel f

Lot. My plnu is ihis — I csve it out that I
was goinp la my horouc^ iu De^■on^hi^e ; and
yeOenlny «*t imt uitli my servant lu great lorm,
and lav at BoungMoke.

Free. Well ?

Ijiv. i ordered the felhiw to make the htm
of his way dmtti uitit the country, and tuld hin
that I would follow him ; inMrad of that, I turu-
cd ha' k, and am just cume to town : Reu
lignum ! [pMNls to hit looA.

Firr. It is now one o'clock.

hjv. This very afiemooo I shall pay onr
pci'ple a visit.

Free. How will you g:et in ?

ixr. When I am pmpetly habited, yon shall
gti me introdured to Plidiu, as one of your
tenant's sons, who wants to be made a good scr>
vant of.

Free. They will oertainly discover you.

Lor. Never fear; HI be w countntied, ihst

you ^idl not kouw me. A* they sir

thoroughly penusdcd 1 am many miles o^
ihryll be more easily imposed on. Ten to one
but llicy l>eKin to celebrate my departure with a
drinkiiiji: buut, if ihey are what you deKnbc
them

free, bhall ynu be nlle to piny your pan '

Lttv. I am Kurprifcd, Mr rreenuin, dnt ion,
«hu huvc known mc from my infoncy, sbiulil
not rememtM'r my abitiiii*^ in that way.— But jui
old fr-Uciws have sliort mcmorifs.

Free. What sliuuld 1 reniemhcr?

Lpv> How 1 played Dnniel in the CoBSciuia
Lovers at Hchuul, and nfterwards arrived si tfac
distinguished chuructcr uf the mighty Mr Smib—

[Miatckft-

Free, Ha, ha, lu ! that is very well — Enrnfli
lice is Robert.

Enter Robebt.
Itch. Your honour ordetvd me to <rak ■

VftU-

Frre. I did, Robert. Robert !

Hob. Sir ?

Free, tome lierc— You know, Robert, [ bOT
a g"Kjd opio»n of your micgrity.

Rob. I have always endeovnurcd tlial jW
honour should.

free- Pray, have not yon fcouic
niiiitti){ .Mr Jxvcr» pe«tplc^

Hat. A litlic, pleosc your liunmir.

Frrr. lUrw do they be have ? — We hsv* n^
body tut lrtriul!>~ytm may spnUt oaL

Lor. Ay, Koberi. speak oiii.

Ooh. 1 iMifie \uur luHinar^ will not inaistnal
sftying any thing iu au a&iir of ibis kiudf

Gakkick.}

BIUTISH DRAMA.

%at

I
I

Lm. Oh, but we do inutt, if you know any
chinv

Rob, Sir, 1 am but a wrvant mywif : and tc
would nui become iiie to speak ill of a brotlter-
scr^.int,

Frtf- P»hB ! tliis i» raise honesty !— speaL
oat.

Rot, Don't oblif^e me, good ur. Cuofti-
dcr, ur, a serrant's broad depends upon hi^
cmrarktcr.

Idm, But if R servant u»<?s me ill - ■ — ■

R»^ Alai, «r ! wliat a one maa's (joixmi in
another miui's meat.

jPrcr, Yuo ftee how they trim for one anotJier !

Adl Servire, sir, i» no inlientaooe.— A »er-
rant that i« not approved io oue place, way fti^i-
atiffitciiiiti io another. Every body niu»t live,
your huuour,

l/ro. I like your heartiness ai wirll u yuur
csation ; but, ijt my cooej it is necessary that 1
should know thf truth.

Roh, The truth, sir, is not to be spoken itt nil
times; it may bring one into inruble ; whcreuf

Frtr. [Musing.] Whcrccjf if— Pray, Mr Lovel.
let ine ace Utal Inter u^uin. — ^[Luvel tivrs

tif /ef/er.j— ^Aye it must be to ; Itot-

bert

Rah. Srf

Fnr. Do you know any thing of this letter ?

Rt)6. Lett€-r, vour houour^

t'rtt. Ye*, leiler.

Roh. I hnvc ^eeu the liaad before.

J>v. He biushes !

frw. I ask you, if you were conormed in
writiaf this letter? Yoa never told iol- b lie yet,
and X cxpci't iJic inith fn>tu vau luiw.

Rob. Pray, your honour, duii'l usk me.

Frer. L>id you write it ? Answer me.

Rob. I oumm deny it. [Boxing.

hov. Wtifii mduced you to it?

iWk. I wilJ trh tnith— I hove seen inch was ti-
snd exrravai^ni'e, and riot ntid drunken nesi, in
yuur kitchen, «Jr, tint, a» my nm-iterB friend, I
could not iMrlp discovering ii u> yuui.

Lav. iia nn.

H*>h. I am sorry t« smv it to Tour honour, but
rour h4mi>ur is not only itupoied on, lint iKu^lud
at by all yuur sen ants, especially by Pliilip, wlio
is »— very bad mim,

I^m. Philip! an nnsmteful do); ! Well?

Ask I citutd noi presume lo speak to vonr
hnao^; ■rul tberefure I resolved, tlioueh but u
poor acribe, to itnte your honour n letter.

Ijro, flobert, 1 am greatly indelifd to you. '
Here — [Offrrt iHomry

Rob. On any other account than tlu.\ I ahiHiliI
fac prrmd to receive your booour't bounty; but '
now I l>ec t" Iw excused.

Ijio. Th»u httUa noble heart, It'iliert, niiH I'll
DOC forfet y-Mi f Frccinun, li« must be iu the se-
crec. WMt yoar master's orders.

Rob. I will, your honour. [Esit,

Frte. Well, iir, iire ytm convinced now?

Lot. Convinced? Ves; and I'll he among tlie
scoundrels bef^rrc iiiifhi. You tu- Hubert munt
cuutnve tome way or oilier to ffit me introdoced
tu Phjiip, us oue of yuur cottagers' boy» out of
E^sex,

hite. lln, ha, hn ! youll make a fine figure !

Imv. Tlicy sirall tmkv u tine fisurc It mu«t
he done thin afternuun : wulk witli tue across tltc
Park, ami I'll tell yini tite nhole. .My name
fthall be Jemmy ; niid I am come to be a i^ntle-
roaa's servant-— and will do my best, and hope
t<i fitt a tto*Kl farackler. [Mimicking.

Frer. But what will you flo if you lind ibem
roM-alft?

Lov. Discover myoelf, and blow them all to
the devil ! Come aloni;.

Frer. ila, lia, ha ! Uriivo ! Jemmy ! Bravo \
ha, hu! [Ercunl.

SCENE n.—nc Park.

Enter Duke'i Strrant.
What wri'trhes arc ordinary servants, that fft nn
ill llic sunie vulgar tract every day! euliiii^,
wurkiuc and sleepiii): I — But we, who have the
liouunr lu servo tlie nubility, ure uf aiKitlitT sptv
des. We are above the common fonns, have
servnntK to wait upnn us, Rn<l arc ns Inzv and

loturious as our masters Ila! my deur Sir

Harry 1

£n(erSiB lUaBY's &rpaM(.
I low have you done these tlioutand years I

Sir Har. My lord duke ! — yuur grace's most
obedient servant.

Duke, Well, baronet, and where have you
Ih-cii i

Sir liar. At Newmm-kct, my bird. We have
liad devilish fine sport !

Duke. And ft i.'TKid appenraiire, I hear— pox
take it, I should Itave been tttere ; but our old
duche»s died, uikI wt: wen< ohiiged lo keep bouM
tor thf^ decency of the thinf;.

Sir Har. I picked up liflccn pieceSL

Dukr. Ptha! a trifle I

Sir Har. The viscount*8 people have been
Itloodily [»ken in t)ii.s ttieetin^.

Dukt\ Credit me, baruoet, they know nothing
of lite turf.

Str Har. I assure you, my lord, tliey lost every
match ; i\tr Cmb was beat bulluw, Careleu
ihretv hia rider, and Miss Slanimerkin bad the
distemper.

Duke. Ha, ha, ba ! I'm gtad on't — Taste this
snulT, tir Harry. [Off'rrt kit Aar.

Str lirir. •'lisj.iwid rapf«.

Duke. Rittht !)Uiuburg, 1 assure yon ; and of
my own iiu|MirtiQC.

■S)!- ii«r. Aye I

Duktt 'Ihn city people adulterate U so con-

ftd4

BRlTlsn DRAMA.

[Gasrick.

fitimdedir* that I alirnir» imporl tnv mTn saolf.
1 1 vriili mv InnI wijulrl tlo tlie Mine ; but he is m>

Jitdulfoi I — When rli<J ymj «cc the ijirls? I m%\\-
I bitly Bab t\\n inoniuii: : but, Ynrr (isil, whether

it \>c liivc ur rending &)u.' luokcd sa p«)e as a pe-

iiiictit.

■Sir Har. I hnift' just hud ihu cart! from Ijw-

c\'% people. [Kruj^.j ' Pliihp iiikI Mr» Kiitj prt^

* M>itt their ci>niplitn'M)(» in Mr llitrrv, niH) desire

* the hiMKHir of his CMjinpimy ttii* et*cnin|t to Ik-
' of n iinnrt party, »ikI tiil » hit of wppcr.'

Dttke. I hate ilir bumeiiikiibtinD. Their inns-
ter, it i««iii% ift tlo<i« u> h>« humiiifh.

Air Har. You'll be «ith u*, inj lord ^ — Philip's
a blo(>d.

l>uA( . A liuck of the fint head ! I'll tvll you
a gtecrct ; hr'^ goit^ to be uiarncd.

fiti'r Har. To uhutu t

Duh. To Kitty.

Sir Hur. No !

2>iifre. Yes, be u; and I intend to cuckold
kira.

Sir liar. Thon wo may drpend upon yuur
grare for certain. Itn, lisi, Im f

Duke. If our hoiiM.' break* up in a tolerable

time, 1*11 be with you Have yoii nny thing

lor ut>^

!^r Har. Yea, a liulc bit of poctiy. 1 must
, be nt the rocoa-trec inyM-lf till eicht.

Ihikr. lletvh, ho ! I am quite out of spirits —
I hnd n dumixnl ilchuuch last lUKht. bnrouci — ■ —
l/ird I'VaririA, Dob i\w bivli'jp, mid I, tipt olT four
tmlllfs ul" Miir^uiidy li-pictc — \\\\ ! there nri; Iwo
fxnv iiirls roiiintg * FuUli, Udr Itab ! uvi-, luid
lady Charloue I ['tahi out his gtats.

Sir Hur. We'll iinl join iheiii.

Dukr, Oycs; [Inh is a line wnnch, notnritl>-
stBiidine her romplo>iun ; though t sliould be

plttil she would keep her tcelh cleimer Yoor

Kitsli&li uumcn are damnoil iif^lii^nt about

tlirir teeth How i» vour Lharluttc in that

purUcolBr f

■St Har. My Charlotte !

Dukr. Ay, tlio ivorld *ay» you are to have her.

Sir Har. I own I did kc-cp Iter conipaay ; but
wc are ofl^ my lord.

Vtike. How 8o?

Sir Har. Ik'tweeti ynii nnd mc, she has a
pliMluy lliick pair of le^? !

Dttkf. Oh. dmni) it; ihat'n iiMufTemhlc 1

Sir Har. De^jdes »lic-'» a fool, nnd iniskcd her
uppnrtuuily with the old countcfii.

Dttkf. I am airaid, baronet, vtm love money.
Kot it, 1 ni'T-er »avc a liiilliii): ! Indeed I am sure
ufaplure in the txnix. Ijtdy Charlotte is to
be of the party lo-oi);hl ; bow do you uiauii);c-
thnt }

Sir Hnr, Why, wo t\a njoct at a third pincc :
are very cit tl, and look queer, nnd hiu»h, and
•buM' one nootlter, and nil that.

Dnkc. A-l«-raodo, Im !•— Here they nre,

AVr Uar. Let ut rctii-c. [21^*^ retire.

Entrr Ladt Bab's MaiJt and L&dt Cdak-
lottb's Moid,

lady Bah. Oh 5e. lady Charlotte f ytm are
()uiit- iudelii.3jte ; I am Aorrr fur your taste.

tndif Char. Wall, I say it again, 1 luvc Vaiu-
hatl.

Lttdij Ii4ih. O my Stan ! Why, ihurc is nobodj
there hut 'iltliy ciliu<n«.

I-Mdy Clitir. We were iu hopes the nusinc the
price wudlil hiivc kept them out, Iu, ha. Ita !

fxtiiy Bab. lia, hs, bu ! RuncJam for oiy

money.

I^idy Char. Now you talk of Runctoic, wbca
did yi»i» ^et' til* colonel, lady Unh }

ImJv I'ak. rite coluncl ! I bate Uie fellow —
lie fiud the ny^uniuce to talk of a creature ia
(;]r>ii>U'r->lun\ Ijcfore my fnce.

/Wv i'fiar. Ill- ia a prcttv ni»n for tdl tfaa^-
SiiUlii-r5, you litow, liate ttit-u' itusttcaica evcty
w litre.

I-^dy Hah. I despise him I Uuw gpea oo ynnr
iilTnir with the baronet f

Liiilt/ I'har. Ibc boroner i* n stupid wrwci,
and I shall have nothnii; Ut sav to him. You ire
to Ix- at Utvel'b tu-nikihi, ladv Bab?

Lailif Buh. Unless I niter my miud — I ict/t
admire vimtjng these commonenk, lady ChariotlL

Jm'/v ('h^lr. Oil, bill Mrs Kitty has tasic

ImiIij Bah. Slic nffects IL

huiy Char. The duke is fond of her, and ht
lijts jti(li;meiil.

lAiJff hab. The dukt) miflit shew hi» jti
much hcirvr. [Ho/ding up Arr J

Ijidif t'kar. There he is, and tlie baronet, i
Tnke lui notice of tliem. Well ral^ Umb \ig
und by.

Jjtdy Bnh. Dull souls! Let tu setup alood
lautih, and li^ve tlieiii.

Ijui^ Char. Ay, let us he Kone ; Uh the enra-
nion people do so stare at us — we slutll cutaialy
be m'llihed.

Hosk. 1 (», ha, ha !-^ lia, ha ! [£n«<a.

Dl'kc ant/SlK Harry eomt farKord.

Duke. They certainly saw us, and are gone off
Uuvliiiit; ni us. — I must follow.

Sir Har. No, no.

Dakr. 1 luust. L must liave a party of nulkn
with thcui; a boa uiotor so. hir llMrrv, yuull
ctcuM* me. Adiru '. I'll l»c with you in iWewa-
ins, iffHi^ible: th<iii(>ti. hark ye! there is a bill
dejicndins; in our hotisc, uhic-h ttM^ it>tm»lry umie
?i pciiiit of nnrait^iirlioe : and «o, you kiiuw,muia!
we must wuul tlte rtops uf the f^nM liddle.—
.\dicu! [KniDnt.

Sir Har. What a coxcomb thi» is I and ite
fellow cuii'i rend. It v>iis but the other dav thai
he was cow-txiy in i^c couiury ; thru was UmmI
prentice to n prnHit|;-niDicr, jEot int<i uiy lurJ
dukc*& fninily, aud now acts up for a Que K^allt-
uiuu : O tcfij'tfrm, 0 tnurcti

tmetfliP

Gabbtck.]

BRITISH DRAMA

I

I

Rt-mter Drxr** Sibvaxt.

J)itke. Sir Harry, priLbe«, wliat mc wc to do
at lAiveVi when we roine there ?

Sir Har. Wc shiill hiivc tiir lirldto, ( -iiippfisc^

Duke. Titc riiiUles ! 1 Imvc it'nic wiUi dnnctng
«rer since the lut Ai of the guut. I'll letl vuu
•whM, iny Hear buy, I |JOsilivi'ly caimut Ite Milti
iheiu. udIc*« wc have n lictJe— -

[Makft a motton at tftcith the diee-hox,

Sir Har. Fie, mv I'lcd 'luke !

iJii^. Lonit yp, baniiiet, 1 iioiae #«i it. — Who
tbe deriJ of any fiishi-Hi ctui po«4ilily s|iond uii
eveniDC without it ' — But I sWaW !..sp the i;irk —
Uow nmni you loott, lio, hn, ba ! — WcH, let iIktl'
befitbUes.

5ir ffar. Bat, my dear lord, I fthail be quite
lDi.5cmble wilhirut you,

Dukt. Well, 1 won't be particular ; III do as
tbe r«at do.— rol, lul, lot !

[Exit sin^Ttf and ttanrine.

Sir Ifttr. Ilr harl the HssunnHv, latt winter, tii
court n traile^mniV^ dau^btor in the citv. ni(b
two iHouuiikI poitndft tii ber lomine, nm) cot nie
b> write hi» lovc-Icllers itc pretended lr» be an
cusi^ in a mardune fpciment ; so wheedled the
folki iitto coitteni, and would bnvc mrried the
girl ufi^ but wnsunluekilv pTt>veiitc«t by llie wafiher-
wonuD, wbu huppciicd to be hib iir^t couiiin.

£ii/iT Philip.

Mr Philip, TOur senrant.

PAi You arc w<*lo>nie to EnjUnd. lir llnrry ;
I liopc y"u rctx-icwJ tlit canl, niiit will do iis the
iMoour of vour »ini|>anv. — My niuilur ik "out.*
amo Deronihire.— We'll hare n maring niglit.

Sir Hur. I'll certainly wiiit nti you.

PM. The jprU will he with us.

Sir Har. U ihii a »cddini;-stipper, Philip ?

J**(. What do you mean, irir Harry ?

Sir Har. The duke (ell» nie M.

PAi. The duke'i ii fool.

&> Har. Take care what you say ; hit grace is
a. brtiikcr.

PAi. I am a pupil of the same acndcinv; and
mat afnud of him, I anture you. Sir tinrry, we'll
bare m noble Imtch-^I havp stich wine for you !

Sir Har. I nm your man, Hliit.

Pki. E{ad the cellar ihaJI bleed : I have some
Banrundy ttml i» fit for an eniperor. • ■ — My
raiutfr would have uivcn hi» ear« lor sonir of it
t'otber day, to trcot my lord what d'yc-cftll-liim
with ; butt I 'old btm il wu<t nil f^ono, ha ! rhurity

bcKtttt at liome, ha ! ()d*«>, here i« Mr Frec-

nmn. my maMer't intimate friend ; bc'i a dry one
— Don't let ua be Men togetlier — tio'll suspect
•omribnie.

Si^ Har. I am fcono.

PJH. Away, away; remember — Burgundy

It the word.

Air /far. Ri|c)it— lyit^ rorfc^ ! ha, Phil ! LWt-
Jraning of a cork.] — Yours. l*^-"'-

Phi Now for « cast of roy office — A »lnrch
pbiz, n cantiit^ phnuc, and as many lies as uc-
iT-uinrv.-^IIein i

Enter Frechaii.

Frre. Oh, Philip! How do tou do, Philip?
Ynu have InM yiiiir ma^tf-r, I tiiid?

P/ii. It 19 a ln»!s, indeed, »ir. — So good a cpo-
llt-Tnan-^^lle must be ucarly got int<j Dcvon^bire
by tliid tjme.' Sir, your H-nnnt.

t'rrir. Why in »uch a Kurry, Philip?

Ph: I sluill leave the liouac as Uttle as possi-
ble, now Ii:k liouuur h awnv*

Frrr. Ycm ate in ihf r^bl, Ptiilip.

Phi. ServtiuiK, at Mtich uutct, are too apt to
be negtlgeiit and eitravaifsnt, nr.

prrt. True;, iliu itiastcx's abbCDce is the time
tu try a good Mcrviint in.

Phi. It IS Ml, sir. Sir. your §emutt. [Goinf^.

Frrr. Oh, Mr Philip ! pmy stay ; you muudo
me a niece of H^nieo.

I'ki. Ynu commnnd me, Mr.

Prrr. I loi>k ufKin ynu, Pbilip, as one of the
best behaved, iiiotii M-nsiblcr, campletcst [Pktlip
hows.] msrab in tbe world ! lAtiiie.

Phi. Your honour is pleased to compliment.

Free. Tliere is a tenant of mine iu Kuex, a

very bitnc^t man P»>or fellow, he has a G;reaC

niin]i«r uf cbiidren ; nral ibcy have sent mr. one
of them, a tall kE»wl(y hoy, tu make a serviint uf ;
but my folks any tliey can do nothing with him.

Phi Ijct me bave him. wr.

Free. In truth lie i^ nn tnilicked cub.

Phi. I will lick liiui into soniethinG;, I vrarranC
you, sir.'-Nnw inv muter )» alncnt, I sluill have
a gtKid deal nf lime upiii my hand*: nod I h»to
to l»c idle, tie : in twu months I'll engage to finish
him.

Fref. I don't donht it. [Atiila.

Phi. I have twt^nly pupils in the parilh of St
JamcVs ; atrd, for a table, or a sido-board, or
behind an equipage, or in ttie delivery of a mca-
si^c, or any thin^ •

Free. Wlmt have vou for entrance?

PAi. I alwuvs leave it to (;enilemea'« gcncrro-
»ity.

Frrr. Here is a guioea — I \<g he may be taken
cart of.

Phi. That he nhall, t promise you. — [AtttU.
Your honour knows utc f

Free. Tburouglilv. [Atiiir.

Phi. When can I »ee him, ^ir?

Frre. Now, directly — Call at my housc^ and
take him in your hnna.

Phi. Sir. I will 1« with ynu in a minute; I
will but Htep into the lunrkcl to let the imdct-
incn know ibry mutt not trust any of our Mr-
taut*, now lliey tire at iMianI wagciH— llumpli !

Friv, How happy is Mr Lovcl in so excellent
a scrrani ! [Erit,

Phi. Ha, hn, ha ! This is one of my nuuicr'a

I

f56

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gilt RICK.

pnidcnt frienHs, nho dires with him thrrt* bmes
n-wrrk. Dm) thial^s hr i^ mighty |;t:iicrou» m gtt-
iiiK lue l]%c );uiueub ut Cbrislmaa. — Dtiuin all
5uch aueakiri^ Koundrelsi 1 say ! [Exit.

SCENE llLr-Tfic strvanU hatl in Lovkl's
kaute.

KtvpsTOX «iu/ Coachman, drunk and $Uqttf.

\A knock'mft at thr liotir.
King. Someliody knackt ; ('iiachy, K'>— K^) to
the door, Cuachv.

Coach, rit nut ko— «)n yoii ^o; yoa black dog.
Kvig. Otvtl bhull tetch iiK* if I gn.

[KRockinff.
f, VlJ I

Cooeh. \VhT, then, let ihnn stay; I'lJ «oi go,
damme — Ay, knuck llw door <luwn, nnd In your-
fclf iti. [Xiiof/cin^.

ir»i^. Ay, ay, knock BS>*in, knock ii;:aiii !

C-oorA. Master is Lonc into ncvonshire ; bo he
can't Ic there ; *n I'll go to bleep !

Kin^. So will I ; Vn fo to sleep, too !

Cotv:k. You lie, devil ! you shall not ro to
sleep till 1 nm nslecp — I am king of ihe kltflini !

King. N<^ you arc tmr Line ; but, when you
are dnmk, yon are »ulky as hell ! tiere is Couky
comiiig ; she i& kiug, und quten, loo !

Kntfr Cook.

Cook. Somehody ha^kntx'ked at the door twen-
ty times; and iiobudv hcare ! Why, Cituchiiiaii,
Kini>5ton ! Ye druiikcu bears, why doa't ojie of
you gfl to thr door }

Cuarh. You pt. Cook; you go.

('■tiok. Hang me if I (!0 f

King. VcB, yvfe, Cooky, gn; Mullby^ Polls/,
go!

CooJIr. Out, yon black toad !— It is none of my
bnnness and go I will not. [Silt Hvwn.

Enter I'uilif with Iovel disguiitd.

Phi. I mifcht linvn Ktniil »t tlir door all nigliL,
as lite little man in the piny Sttvs, if I hnd iiut
]tad the key o\ the dour in my pocket — NN hat is
come to vo>i nil ?

Cook, 'llierc i« John Coachman aitd Kingston
as drunk as (mo t>can>.

Pht. Ah, till! my lads;— wlmt! fini»hrd al-
rrjidy } Thew; an- the the %'cry In-^t of sen'aiili !
I'nor fellows! I siippoie they hare been drinking
llieir milliter's i;ood joiiriir^y ? ha, Im, ha !

JjjrrK \o doubt nii't. [A$idc.

Phi- Yo bo ! |»ct In bed, you does, and vlceu
jounelf sober, that you may he iibl« to eet drunk
IU!,niii bvautMpy. Tliey arc as I'ast us a ciiurcli,
Jcmmv.

J.awl. A nun ?

J'Ai. Dm y«m loTc drinking?

Lavcl. Yes; 1 \n^f■^ tilr !

fkL Yoa dng you slinll swim In Durgundr.
1

[Oirti htm u great $fap on the fate.
I, oh !~\Yhatr/4nii(d!t ! OU ! datan

> to

Lottl. Burfrundj! what's that?

Phi. Cook, wake those boDcat gentlemen, aod
send them lo bed.

Covk. It is imp-'>ssihte to wake them.

Lmei 1 think I could wake them, air, if I
mifthc — Hch !

Phi. Do, Jemmy; wake tliein. Jemmy ; ha, ha,
Iiu J

Xone/. Hip— Mr Coadimuo.

Coach. Oh,
you I

Lovel What ! blackev, blackey !

' [PulU hm hy tU

King. Oh, oh !— What now ! Cu««eyoa! Ob<
— Cot dnm yttvi I

Limti. Mil, ha, ba !

Phi. Ha, iHi, lia I Well dooe^ Jemmy ! Cool,
tee ttMse gentry to bed.

Cook. Marry come up, I say soi, tuu ; not lia-
deed.

ConcA. She slian'c see lu to bed — Well tee
ourselves to bed.

K'jji^. We got drunk together, and well gn to
bed [u^cther. [Eresinf, r^Uag.

Phi. You see how we live, boy ?

IjtvtL Yes; I tre* how ynu lire,

Pkt. Let the supper he. elegant, Cook.

Coitk. Who pays for it ?

Phi. My master to be sure; who else? bi^
ha ! He IS neb enough, I hope, ha, ha. ha !

LoTti Uutnph! [AjUe.

Phi. Each nt us must take a part, and sink 4 a
our next weekly bills; that is tlie way.

lAftet, .Si ! \Jink.

Cook. Priibee. Philip, what hoy is thisf

Phi. A boy of Freeman's i^coaunendii^

Ijivet. Yes; I'm venire Freenuin's boy~4iellt

Cwk. Freeman is a stingy hLiumI ; and yoa
may tell biin I miv m. He duies liere tbn<
timt-s a vktek, and I never taw the colour uf kl
money ytc

Lfivel. Ho, ho, lia ! that is Kood— FHvfDan
»biill huM^ iL [Aaiie,

Couk. 1 must step to the tnllow-cbaad(er''i ta
disp(.ffie of sotite of my perquisites ; and, thao, 111
iet al>out supper.

Phi. Vi e'l Mild, Cook ! that is right ; the per-
quisiic is ttic thn»c, Cook.

Cook, Clue, Clue ! where ore ymi. Clot i

[CaOi,
Enter Cioc

Clae. Yes, mi^iress.

Cii>k. Take thtii Imu and fo|h>w me.

Cfof. Yes mifcliess. i'l'okrt the hor.]
thf,f [Serine l.avKt.] llee, bee. h»t ! {.'-tt' li"
1*^ prmy l<»y ! lite, bee, bee ! Oh ! This it pnVJ
ri'd hnir, bee, hee, bee ! You shall be la
Willi mc bv-ond-bv ! hee, hee !

\ F^it chttrkivf JjOv^l ymdrr the ek.-.

jAnef. A very |.rctty amour! [Atidt.] Ukli'

BRITISH DRAMA.

«57

what a 6uc room » this ! 1% Lliis tin: iliuiiig-ruam,
pmy, airf

Phi N'o ; our driiiki»K-nK)m.

LmocI. I a, la' wluit m line Inily \itrc Js ! This
ii madua, I ^uppiMG f

J'ii, WliciX' imve yen liccn, Kitty ?

Kit. I have been ditposine; of »omr of his ho-
TM>ur*s »htrt4 nml iHhcr linen, ««titc)i it Is n ^linme
liu liuiutur shuuld wear niiy lotiicer : iiiotlter Bar-
ter i« iibove, uikI w»iw to kitow if you have nuy
ooraauuitU fiir S^r.

PAi, 1 ifaall dupoie uf my i*>n]i-ob« to-m<ir-

Kit. Wlift hatw we here ? [Lovei, howi.

Phi, A buy of rrceiiiiui's ; > poor, silly iool.
IjjvtL Tbiiuk v<iii. [Ji^t/c.

i*Ai, I intend ihe eiilertainmeiH ibis evening
mUk oumpliiUL'tit Ui yuu. Kittv.
■ Kit. I nni yotir humble, Mr Pliilip.
I Pki. Uut, I l)Pi; I limy mht iiiiii>l> nf yotir nin,

or bear aoy of your French gibberi&h wich tbe
duk«.

»Kii. Doii*l be jealous Phil. {Faremn^tv.
Phi. 1 iiitcnJ, bet'iirt- our iiiftrriiD'c, to acrilc
aomrthinit hniiHvime upon yon ; nnd, with the
tvc bunrlrcd p'ttinds which I liave already Mived
I w this extrsva^irtnt fellow's family

Looet. A d((e ! [Atidr.] O h, la ! what ! have
yOQ X'tl ti%e liwidn-d (>'>uiida i
Phi. Peace, blodcheoi].
Kit. 111 tell YOU whfti Tou shall do, Phil,
Phi, Ay, whni •.hnlli'do?
Kit. You sUall »et u(i a diucolutc-buuiie, my
denr I
Phi. Yes, and be cuckolded? [Apart.

Kit. You Liiow IDT education waq a very gen-
teel one. i wa<i a holf-boanter atCliel^en, ami I
■peak FfctKh like a native — Commemt tout porter
i unii^ nHMUJMir. [AakKariiti.

PkL Psha, pshn !
Kit. One u nuthtof; without French — ■! »hull

Iiliinc in Uw bar — Do yuu t^rjk French, boy i
Kit. Atuu — <> tlie fool ! ho, ha. ha ! — Cunte
hm^ ^and,kt uic newnnuuld you a little. You
MOsC be a j(ood ixiv, nnd wait uf^ou the penlJr-
fulkft (u-ntehu [Sht tirt, ami potcdtrt hu Aair.
JUneL \v5j an't ptcuae yoii, I'll do my best.
Ktf. His bett ! O >hr natural ! 'I1ii» i» a itronne
I of luur of (liine, buy— It la M> co.tr»e, and

ny.

All my hroihers and viilers be red in
Fpolc

Phi/. Kit. lio, ha, ha ! [ hiyiffi.

uu art flotDctfainE like-^Conie,

-}

Philip, s've the bnr a Icnnn, and ihen T\\ )eo>
tun* itiiu mil nfthc Servant** Gui«le,

Phi. Cnmi*. tiir; fmt. Until ujt vour head-
very wf It — riirn out your Uta, air — very well—
Now call miaih —

lATVti. Wliat is call conrh ?

i'AL Thus, wr— Coiu b. iviarli, coach! [Loud.

tovti. Couch, c^ucli, couch ! [Imttulttg^

hhi. Admirable ! — the knaire has a good ear—
Now, Mir. ifll ino n lie.

Lorcf. O la ! 1 never told a lie in nil inv lite.

Phi. 1 hen it is hijcli tmH? you should Ife^'in^
now ; what 19 a scnani g'Kid lor, ihiit can't teil a
lie?

Kit. And stand in it; now III lecture him—
{Tuktt out a bitok.\ — Thi» i» ' Thf Scr^nnt's
*'ii)ide to Wealth, by Ttniothv SlmuMtritnut,

* fnnnifrly scrvsnii lo several nob(eineii, :iiid no'T >
' an othccr in tlie cu&toin»; ncceuiny fur nlj mi^

• vant*.'

PUL Mind, sir, what excellent niles Ihe hnojc
<T)niain^ and rcmciuber them nreU—CutDe, Kiuy^
liejjiii— —

Kit. [K^nrfi] Advice to the fontmnn.

* Let It for tverhe your plan,

* Til Iw the inuMer, ik4 ilie man.
' And do ai httle ac you can.

XjiteL He, he, he ! Ye«, I'll do noihmg at all j
not 1.

A'iV. • At market, never think it stealing, i

* To kwp with tradp'Mnen proper dralinz; >
' AH stcwunU liuvc a ffllott^-leelioK.* )

Phi, You will understand tliat belter one day
or otitcr. boy.

Kit. To th« eronm,
' Never ailijw your master aMc,

* To judpe of matters in the t^table ■

' If he vhould roui^hly sjieiik Iii6 mind, "^

* Or to diwniu ynu seems inclined. v
' Lainr the best horsp, or break bis wind.' J

IjivtL Uildiftess ! that's good— be, be, lie I

Kit. To tlie ronchmnn.

* If vour eood mauer on ynu donti,

' ^4€'e^ leave hn linuse to scn-e a ilrangcr;
' But pocket hay, and »traw, ami oali,

* And let the lior^ew cut ilie manccr.'
hovel. Eat the mnnter \ lle,'bc, be !

Kit, I Won't give yuu %*w murh nl a Ume

Here, boy, take the b«K>k, and rend it every niglic
nnd morniilp, before you say your prayers

Phi, tin, ho, Im! very .good; but now fo^bu-
binewt.

Kit. Richt ; I'll eo and eel one of the damuk
table-rlotbn, nnd sonic napkins; luid l*e vtrv^
Phil, your *ido-bi«ird Is rery wnnit. [Kxi>,

Pbi, That il shall— rtmit. Jcnniy—— \^fit.

LoTvL Siob! syh! it woika wcl!-^ [£nV.

S38

BRITISH DRAMA.

ACT II.

CGAKBlCit.

and udc-beard kI <wf.
PaiLir, KiTtv, and Lovku

Kit \Vti.i, Pbil, whii iliink you? Doo'l we
tnuk very sumrt ? N'<>w l«t tbcm come •> «ooo •>
tbev mill. Hc khall he mdjr for Uicni.

^Ai. Tis all vrry well; bul

Kit. Out what r'

PAi. NV h\, I with we could get that snarling
cur. I'om, to ni^ke one.

ilif. \\ hat I* ihe niAtrer with him }

^ki. 1 (l"D't knuw : he'* a queer ton of a —

Ktt. Oh, I Lnow him; h« isoneof yuursncal-
initf hatl'-hrcd fellutvs, that preferi liu otaattr't ui-
l£rc«t Ut his own.

PAj, Here he is.

Enter Tom,

And why woo'l yiw make ui»e to^telit, Tom ?
ll«ru'» cuok, and oiechnuiD, and uJI of ui.

Tvfv. I itll >uu ai^mii, 1 vtiU not make one.

Phi We fthAll Iwve 90itietlun|> iliar'H good,

'l\mi. Aod make ;uur mnMcr pty for it ?

/'iki. I ^nrmtit, now, juu ihiuk ^our^lfnucb-
ty hnoMt — ha, li«, hn t

Tom. A liltic- liutie«tir tliaa jrou, I liope, aiid
D^r hra<L nt'itlKT.

Kit. Hark ytM, Mr Honesty, don't be atacy —

IjOttl. 'ITiis is worth listcnmc to. [Aiidt.

Tom. What, niuiaiii, vitu ure afraid fur your
C ' V, arc vou }

iit. Cutly, sirrah, oulty ! Afnid, sinah ! A-
fraid of what f

fGoa up to Tom.

[Ooe* up OH thf other tidf.

LateK Ay, »ir, afraid of what f \Goc» up loo.

Tvm. I value lumc of you-^^1 knoir your
trick*.

Phi. What do you know, sirrah ?

Kit. Ay: whMt lio ynii kimw ?

Lovtl, Ay, Ml. what du ynu know ?

'i'liw, 1 know ihitt you two urc in fee with

every tradesiRHii brionsini; (u ihi- Ihiusc and

t)Mt vou, Mr Clodpole, ari.> in a fair «uy (o be
liaiHpd— [Sinkft Love.

Phi. What do;nn strike the bojr for.'

Jjtrvel. Ii if an honf«t blow. [Atidf.

'J'iM. I'll Mfikf Imii agntn-'-'lifi suck aa jroti
thni liririg a scuiir^at upou us nil.

KU. Clime, niinr nl tniir impudcnre, Tom.

Thm. E^ad. uuidiuu, tlte |;tntry may uell innf
iiltiiii. whtfn iliFV }Kl Hich ftcr^nnls as you in ihnr
m>iiM-». Tlwrci vriiir piod friend, mother Biir^
ler, tlw old cloatha-uoinaii, tlwf prente^t tliief in
town, jiiiit MOM,- pooe out vtitU bcr apron full of
kis booour's lineu.

Ktt. Well, Mr, ami did yoo nercr^ha.'

J'om. No. ocAcf r [ hate hied with bi» Ihiq
four yenn, uoA never look the valve ni
[SnapfHHg kU ^fiMgcru] — His honour is a pnocCt
p\t% noble wagv% and ketfif noble omifjany;
und yet you two arc not conlrnied, but <beaC
tiim when-ter you cuu lay your tiofm. Sbawe
QO you !

Litft. Hie fellow I thouj^hlarogne, ttihej
ly honest Mrvant in my borne I [/ '

Kit. Out. ytiu TDealy-iiHMithed cur !

Phi. Well, p* tell his boaour ; do— ha, ha, I

T'w. I saim tliat — Uamu an inforrucT !
Yd I liofie hi« honour will find ytm Cw«
diiy ur otlicr, that 'a all —

[Kjit

Kit. Thit fellow oiuM be tabea care of.

Pht. I'll do his buuQCM lor him, when h»|
nour cniiics to Inwn.

Litvft You lie, you Moundrat ! You wiU i
I Jitt/r.j— U la ! bera'a a 6ne gentlcnwa !

£n/cr Dvkb's Servnt.

Duke. AK m* chere miideoHeile J CMnetf
vouk portFx vous i [StAilr

Ktt. Fu(t lii&mje tDu» remcrcier, nonaicor.

Phi. Now we shall Itave tiuoacosG by whide-
sole.

Duke. How do yoo dn, Philip?

Phu Your fEracc'^ huptble MtrvanT.

Duke. Bill, my dear Kilty— [Tmik aptrt.

Phi. .Iciuoiy.

JjtJVfl. A nan ?

plu- Cotnc nloof; with oie, and 111 tnakc yw
frc« of tb« ccilur.

Lffod. Yea— I will— -but won't you aakWv
drink f

Phi. No, no; be will have hi» ihw by aad
by ; come along.

LoTfi Yet. [£xr«ai PniL. aarf ljini>

Ktt. Indeed ( tbuttghi your Kncfl m igi ii
Coniin)[.

Duke. Up4*n honour, ourhuuse i» but thiiwr
(i>eut up. Yoo liiivc a dnuuifi) vile onUvdajo U
piciurvt, I idtt4-ne, above itsdn^ Kitty. Ya*
M]uiru lu« Mu la^tt.

Ku No toMc ! that's ttnpouibi*, for ha fcu
laid out n va^l deal itf m^iurv.

Duke. There ia nut an unjpnat ptctlir» itt da

whule coUectiuo Where cuuld he |iaA tkia

up?

Kit. lit- eoiplovft three or four men to bayior
ikiin, anil he always pays for urijuml^

Duke. Oiiiiiiex uiui votrc- • ■• — Mr

hrnd aches contouniledly. — ['• ■ lanl^ifi

bollle.y—KiUyt my dear, I bear yog aiv guio(t*
lie manied ?
Kit, PardoitDCz tnoi for that.

BRITISH DRAMA.

Duke. U 7011 get ■ hof, lit be n ^father,
fBitb

Kit. (!'>« yuu ralUe, cIuVp ! — I am thinking.
my Utrdf mben I bud ib«- honnar tu see ^ou
first.

T)ti/(f. At th« p\w, m«doin«oille.

Kit. Your tntcc \me> n pi'.tv ?

£>HAf. Ni); *tii a dull, oltlrnsUioiied, enier-
iMnmcul ; I hntr it —

Kit. Well, five mc a ennd tnisMy.

Dftht. \i must n:>l hi- n mixtt-rn one, then —
You aru devitntt hajidsomp, Kate — Ki» me—

[O/Tf** '0 kiu ktr.

£«/rr Si a IL&rri's Scnunf.
Sir H«r. O lu) ! Are yoti tlicreahndta, m^ lord
Hdke? 'n»al iti«t do very well Iiv-niid-bv

I

ilotrftrer, you'il oevcr liiid tnc bcliiiid hand.

\Off'rrt to kits her.

Dmkt. Stand off*. Ymi arr a comnKimr; no-
tiling under nobility approartien Kittv.

Sir Har, You are so dCTilish prtjud of vniir
TMlnhhp— now, I think, wp hai-e more triiip nnbi-
liljp ihiui you— Let me tell jrou, air, a knight of
ibe ihir>- ■

Dmke. A kniieht nf ihe shirr ! Fui, hn. ha ! n
mighiy iMoour, truly, cu represent all lite fools of
the county!

Kil. 0 lud } thn ill channtngf to sre twa no-
blemen ipnurel !

Sir Hitr. Why, any fool mny be bom to a ti-
tle, bill only a wiM) nun can make himself ho-
aoonblo.

Kit. Well said, air Ham ! thnt is enotl tnv
riitiiy.

Umc 1 hope ymi make Mine dii&rrnrc hr-
iween hereditary booours, and the buna's of a
mahf

KU, Veiy loiart, my lord ; now, &ir Hturv —

Sir tfer. If you mnke U4e of your herrdil4ry
booour* to screen ymi from deht-

Duke. Zoonda, air, what do you rotma by
tbat*

Kit. Mold, hold f I <ihQll have Mme fine old
not-i« blood spilt here ILa* done, w llar-

n'

Sir Har. Not I ; why, he a al»ray* Fahiing
faunaeif «pon hu apper hoiue.

Dmk*. We ha»e diKnity. [Slou.

Sir Hit, But wliat come* of your diifmty, if
we tcftwe the aupfrfiei ? [Quick-

KU. Peac*, peace ! here's lady Bflb

Enter Laut Dab** Servant in a chair.

D«ar larW Rah

I^^ oak. Mr» KitiT. your Krvant: I wnv

■ftsid of takiii]! cnUS, anil to ordered ihc chtiir

down ktaifs. Well, niiH lx>tv d»t yoii do ? My

, lord duke, Tour M-rVAnt- — and air Harry, too—

[ your*.

Dmke, Vour ladvshi[>'ft dcroted- ■

Xodty £aA. I'm afrajf) I have trespassed in
jioim of nine — \IjMkt on her tcutck.\ — But 1 got
nidt tny favourite aiithnr.

Duice. Ye»; I found Iwr Indvship ar her stu*
dies this miiminf; — .Siiine uirkerl iHicin

Ludy Bab. O yuu wretch ! 1 iwver rend bflc
one book.

Kil. Wbnl is yonr ladyship m fond off

lady Bei. Shitkipur. l>td yon never read ■
Sfiickpsur f

Kil. Hkifktpur f SJiicktpur .' 'Who wrote it?
No, I neror rc«d Sktckifiitr.

Lody Bab. Tbca you have an iramense plea-
aure to cotne.

Kit. Well, then. I'll read it over ottc aftentoos
or other — litre's Lidy Cbarloite.

Enter Last CaaBurtic's Maid in a ekair.

Deor lady Chnrlottp !

Lttf/tf i^iar. Ob, Mri Kiltv, I ihfniBht I never
slioiild liAiT renrhcd j^our noiite — siii'ti a lit of
tlir colic aciaed me— -oh, Indy Bah, bow long
lia^ yutir ladyship been here? \ly rlttirmrn were
Koch drone* — my lortl duie ! tlic p<uk of ftU
(IixnI- breeding !

Ihike. O madam [ [Boirin^,

Lady Char. And sir Harry ! Yoar servant, »r
Harry. I Formaliy.

Sir }{nr. Madam, vour rervnot; I am sorry
to bear yonr ladyship hus b^-t-ti ill.

Lady Char. You mu^t ^iirc mc Irate to doubt
the siocerity of that sorrow, w\ rancmhcr tlie
Piirk.

Sir Hht. The Park ! Fll explain that af&lr,
madam.

Ijidy Ckar. I want none of ycurcxplanaliont.

[Scaru/tilljf.

Sir Har. Dear Indy Charlotte !

AarfV C'Aor. No, fcir ; I have observed your
coolness of late, and despise you. A trumpery
barosMa!

Sir Har. I see how it is; ootbini^ will ntlsfy
you but nobditv — titat aly duf; the mnrqui^—

iMfii/ Char. None of »our reflections sir—
The inarqtnt is n person of honour, mid iibovo
iiiijuiring after a htdy's fortune, as you meanly
did.

Sir Har. I — I— madam i I srom «uch a thii^
1 assure yon, marfom, I iicver-^ltrnt is to lay —
Kcad, I BUI cunfuunded — my loni duke, what
dtall I aay to hrr > Pray hdp me out. [A»ide.

Dukx. AsL bL-r to show her kc^— ba, hu, la !

[Aitde.

Enter Pmi.tf anrf fjovrt, loaded nilh hatfki,

ybi. 1 b-re, «iy little pet-r — here is wine that
tvill ennoble v»iir tilu-icl — both your liidjrship's
tiKMii huiulile sen nut.

Lam/. [Jff'ifttng to ftr drunk.] — Both your
lady^iip's must hutnbte Derraul.

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gakrick.^

Kit. Why, Philip, jroa hare made the boy
druiiL

Phi. I liare made bim fr«c of Uie cellui'— ha,
fan. Iia !

l^ivrl. Yes, I am free — 1 am rrry frcr.

i^Ai. He lia» hnH a smack of etery sort of
«riiie, troui liiiinble port, to impinal lokay.

Jjrrti. Ve4, I have tteen dnnkinc koknT.

Kit. Go. eet you Miue tlcep, cluld, tuat you
may wan on t'tt lorU»)iip bv-«tMl-bT.

t.avrt. flianV vm, roAJdMni ; 1 will eertainli
wail on ibeir lonUhip» and tbcir ^a lysJiip*, loo.

[Autiet mmdtiil.

PM, Wdt, ladK-s, am) what say v<>ti to a
dance, aiid then tu tupper? Have you' had your
tea*

Atl. A danw, a dnnre ! Nn trn ! Nn icaf

fhi. Here, hddler—{C'aiJi.^t have provided
a TC17 good haitd, yoo i«e.

Eutrr fiddltr tcitk a woedcM teg.

Sir Har. Not so well legged. Mr Philip.

AU. Ha, ha, liii !

Duke. Le droit ! Hnrk'e, Mr — - — - — • nluch
]e^ dii vr>ii l»i-»l time with^

AU. tla. hn. tin ! [huut UugL

Sir Hur. What, ran ymi pisv, D^miinef

Fid. Any ihtn^, au't plta^e your honour, from
ft jilt to M i^nata.

S*hi. Come here ; where are oil oar people }

£M(«r CoACHMAMf Cook, Kikcston, a»d Cloc.

ni couple ynn — My lord duke will take Kitty ;
JuHy H'lh will Hit inc the honour of herhjQil; sir
Harry and ludy Charlotte; couchmnn aiid cwA,
and the two itc^ils diuit'L tn^ctlter; hu Iw, hn !

Difkr. With 5utiini»>ioii, the couutry daocn
by*nnd>bv,

Utdy Chiir. Ay, ny; Frencli diuccs before
nilip<r. am] country-dance* after. I beg tlic
dukr and Mrs Kittv inriv icive n> a minuet.

JJuAc Dear lady Ciiailoitc, cun&ider tnjr pour
goal; sir Harr^ will oblige us.

[Sin Hab. ftofft.

Atl. Minuet, Mr Harry ! minuet, ^ir Harry !

Fill. \M)Ut minuet would your luuiuurs please
to haifc ?

Kit. Wlna minuet ? let me tee ; play Mbi^mI
Tlungumbub'a minuet

[A mtnttct hy Sj r IIah. oMdl KlT. aukmard
ninl cvHceittd.

Jjud^t Chiir. Mrs Ivilty dnnces sweetly.

J-'Ai. Ami sir ll-irrv delightfully.

Dukr. \\v\\ enough for a commtmcr.

Phi. Cuuii', uovt to supper. A grnllcman and
ulndy — here, fiddler — [Gtvci pnoncy.j — noil wiiii-
nat.

Fid. Yc», au'i please your homxir.

[Brit with a tMikard.

Phi. \Thty tit f/«n*a.] — Wc will act «hc wine

on the tabic Here i» cUrcl, boreu'idy, and

chaiDpacnr. and a bolilc of lukay fur ti>e ladici.
There art: lickeu on etery bottle— If any en-

itemau choose* (wrt

Dike 'tU onty til for a drwu.
Kit. Lady Dots what shall I acnd yoo f tadj
ClnuUitie, pray bo fcec : the more free tbf- more
welcome, as they tay in my cvMiittry. The pccn-
tlcmcn will be m gdwl as to take care of thrm-
i«lve9. [A patut.

Dukt. Lady CItarioUc, hob or noh *
Ladv Char. Done, my lord ; m But^mMly, d
voii plon»e.

Duke. Here's your sweetheart and nunc, and
the I'ncndi of the companT.

I 'rhn/ drink. A jausr.
PhL Come, ladies and ecntiemeo. a buaper
all round — J hare a health for y^a — Here it 10
tlie amendmeul of oar mauen and mi»trca«ci.
AtL lla, ha, ha, ha. ha. ha !

[ Loud laMgk, A fnw.
Kit. Lidir^ pray what 13 your opimtMi of ■
sojiff l(> iienUciiiau's aerricc ?

JMdy Char. Do you uicm> an old sto^e-fCfr
tteiitan ?

Atl Ha. ha. ha, ha. ha. ha ! [Lmd UttgL

Phi. My l"rd duke, your loasT.

Duke- Lady Betty— ^

Phi. Oh no ; 0 heolih and a sentiment.
Duke. A liealth and a «entimcnt ! Xo, Mi
lei OS have a toa^. Sir Harry, your sone—

Sir Bar. Wcmld you have it? Well, ibea—
Mr» Kitty, we must call upon yoa. Will yvsbo
nour mv niu<<> ?

At/. A saoic a sod^I ay, ay; sirllanySMii!
sir Ujirry's *on{i !

i>aAr. A s'ine, lo^be ^rr; but fir«, preludi^
[ikisses KlT.}-->l'ray. Kenllrmeu, put it ahoat.

[Kituitfi round — KiHg$l»n kmmCf^
heart tiif.
Sir Bar. See how'the devils ki» ?
Kit. I'm really hriMrs*- ; but — hem — I no*
rlrnr up my pipiti — lii'Ui — dii&isMr Ham\»oi(
l>eini: a new suo^, intnled and callcl, Thi M
hut Sfrranl ; or, AU in a TJvery. — [-^ajfi-]

Come here, fcllow-srrvanl, ai>d listen » tat,
I'll show yuii how tlm»e of sufiertor defM
Are only de|M>ndcBts no Iwtter than «r.
Churui. \iiitU \u)i\\ and low tn lb>s do W**-
Tis here, fvUon-^crrant.
And tlierv, ftlluw-^n-auti
And all in a livery.

See yonder Sne spark, in embroidery dnA
Who hi)w3 to iIk" great, and, if ibei tMakt, *

blest.
Wliiit is he, iVaith, but a Mfvwu at bni^
Cho. Bulb bigK ike.

[Garkick.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

Nulurc made »U alike, no dtstiactioii s)<c

craro;
So wc laufEti at the great world, its fo Isi and

il9 knaves ;
For wc are all scrrants, but tlicjr are atl fluvirs.
Chorut. Uotii bigb, iicc.

Tlic fat-UutiinK %^uttan tooLs tip to the shelf,
Hie wruikled mean nuscr boors down to his

pein
And itte curUpfited beau U a alavo to htnuelf.
C'Aunti, Uotli liigfa, 6k*

Tbe gay sparkling belle^ wlio the wbole town

alamu,
Aod Willi eyes, lips, aod neck, sets the sman

all ill arms,
Is a vassal lienelf, a mere drudge to ber

clianus.
CMorus. Botli hi^li. Sic

Tbeo we'll dhuk lik.- our betters, an! lau ' ,

sitt^, anri Im-r^
And wtien uck of uiie place, Ui miotbcr we'll

luovc;
For. witb Ittdc niid ereat, the bc»t joy \% to rove.
CAonif. Both higb tind Unv in this dn a^rt-e,
'Iliai 'ii» t»ere, fellow-serrant,
Ami there, icIlow-scrraQt,
And all in a bvcry.

PA*. Ilow do ynti like it, my lord dtikc ?

Duke. It i> a duuincd vdc cimipL>»itinn !

Phi. Udw wt?

Dmke. O very low ! very t'>w, indeed !

air Har. Can yott make a better r

Jhikr. 1 hope to.

Str liar. That i* vor}^ ronccited.

Ihike. Whnt is cnnceilcH, ymi *cminrircl ?

Sir Har. Scaunilrcl ! Vuu arc a niMcal ; I'll
pati n>u by the noM. [AH rrnr.

Duke. Lnok'o, iVirod, don't (pro yourwlf airs
ttnd niakc u di<4urhaiice umnni!; tlie tadic^— -If
^Q are n geiitlenmti, iminc your wcnjmns.

Sir Uar. Wenpoiis ! Wliai yuu will Pis-
tol*

Uukc. Dune — bdiind Mantacue^buuK.

Sir Har, Done — M'ltli Ktjunda !

Ihikr. Done !

PAt. Oil, for sitaiiie. eentlemrn! My lord
. rfttke — Sir ilarry, the lariit-s ! fy !

JI>rRr. Hill/ S HI Ilxnnv nffrft to tiitfi.
vtolrnf kmu-ktng.] U'nut tlit devil
can ihatW, Kitty?

K*t. Who run it posnibly he?

Pk4. Kin|c»tou, run up suiirs and peep. [Erit

Kihc.»Tox.] It sound* like my master's rap

Pntj Ucareu, it is not he !

Enter Kixu^ros.
Wrl>. KiaCHlon. what is it?

Kttig. It is master and Mr Freeman — I peep-

ed ihrougli the keyhole, nod nw them by lite
lamp-tipht Tom has just let tlieui in —

VUi. The devil he bat» !■ -What can hare
broiii;lii liim back f

Kit. No matter what o ay w tli the

thinp !

i'Ai. Away with t^r winr ! Away witli tlie
plate ! Here Cimchman, Cook, Cloe, Kingston,

bear a band ! out with the rnndles ! Avray,

awar ! [^^^ ''^Ty ""^ the tuble, See.

Fm/OPi. What shall we'do? What shaU we
do?

[7%/^ all run about in tenfuuoiu

Kit. Run np s(air>, Indies!

>*A(. No, no, no ! He'll see yo«, then —

>iir Har. What tlie drvil bad I to dohcre !

Duke. Pox take it, (act it oat.

Sir Uar. O, nu ! theu Wc«t Indians are vevy
fierv.

i'hi. I wnuld not have hira see any of you for
the world.

/>im/, [Withnut.] Philip! Where's Philip?

J'Ai. Oh, tbr devil ! he's renninly cckpiinie
down ^t.1i^H — Sir Hamr, r»jn down iot<i the eel-
liir. My lord duke, K^t into the pantry — Awny,
nwBV !

liit. Xo, DO ! do yon pot their ladydiips into
the pantry, and HI take uis graee into ilkc co^
bole.

lliitort. Any where, any where — op the chim-
ney, it' you will !

PkL There, in with yoti f

fiVv a//^<i ■nfo <Ae jtantrg,

LarcL [Withoat.J VU\y, Philip!

Phi, L'oiniuf;, sir ! jAlouiiJt Kittv, liave yoo
never a K(K>d book lo l»c reading off

Kit. Yes, here U one.

i'Ai. f^ad, tliin is bluek Monday with m. Six

Hiiwn — Se^m (u read your tiook Her* be is,

aa druuk as a piper

[TJiry Mt JMfH.

Enter LovcL, with pUtois, affertiag to be ttmnk ;
F R E. t. M A >* tollou'wg.

LoVfL Phibp, ti^f son ofAlmandei- the Great,
where are all my niyrmidoiis * Whal the devil
makes yuu up so early in tlic ntomint: f

Phi. Me is *cry drunk, iiidetd. [Astute.] Mra
Kilty and 1 bad got into a good book, your ho-
nour.

Free. At, ay ; they have been well employed^
I dare say— -ha, hn, ha !

Lovel. Come, sit down, Frrem:in ; He you
there. [/>v» ha pisliittitiM: it.] I come a little uik
vxpcetcdiy, peHtaps, Philip?

Pill. A good 4tn-ant i* never afraid of being
caiiclit, Mf.

Ijjirl. I have some accounts that I must set-
tle

I'hi. Arcimnts, »ir! To-nijht?

Ijtrc Yn, tu-in|;ht— 1 liiid myself pcrfccll/

I

BRITISH DRAMA.

[GiiRin

ctru — Ton Jhtii tern III lectle thesa in n iwiok-

/*4i. Your honour oili en tn(o the parlour?
lurttl. No, I'll wnlc tlmn all here
Kit. Vaur honour idum not sit berv.
i.ow/. Whjf nnt?

Kit. YoQ will certftialf take cold, Mr; lite
—aim Imb not been ws-slied abo*e an hoor.

Xtftwt V^'hat « curved lie (hat is! [J*u<r.

i>»Ar. Pbibp, Ptutip. Philip \

\Petping out.
Pfut. Pm Cake 7<m ! hold yoax tongur —

[Aiuie.
Frtt. YoD hare just Dicked them iii tue very
ininule. [AiiJe to Lnvti..

IjfTel. I fitidlharc; mam. [A ude la Kstr-
II4X.] <;« ftoiDc wine, l^tiiltp. [Esit Philip,]
'J'boufih I nrntt cmt »anirt>iin|; hefure I driok ;
Kictv, nliat have you cot m the panirv i

Kit. In itir pantry? lard, jour boDOar ! wc

■re at boiird-n«i;r«^

fYre. I oxUd eac a inorMl of cold meat.

Ijirrl, Ydu shall hiivr it HcTe, [Aim.]

Opon thcr piuitry duor; 111 be about TOttr bnord-
wii£C$ ! I have treated vou often, now jou shall

Ircal your nuutcr

KU. If 1 ma^r be bcbercfl, tir, there is not a
K-rap of any iJung iu the «nit^ in ihc pantry.

[OppQiing kim.

Lovtl. Well, then, we mntt he cuateniMl, Ptcc-

man. Lei u» have a cruu uf bread and a bottle

of wine. [Sits rfprn again.

K*t, Sir, had not mv miutL-r better eu to

bcdl

[MaktM sjgiu to Freuiav, that IjOTbl u
rfniBA.f

Lmei Tied ! not h ^111 lit bore all niehi—

Tn rrrf pleaMot, and nothing like varic^ to
life.

*r Har. [Perpimg.] Mn Kitty Mf%

Kittv

Kit. Peace, on vatir tifr !
JjntL Kittv. what vuice n that?
Kit. NnboHy'iyur. lletu-

[Audt,

lurvfl. [PfiiLir Irringf trine.] Soli I'cn'

well- — ■ ■ — Now* do you two tnarcb off— ■

Mat" h otf, 1 My

Phi. Wp caji't ihmk of leavjnc your honour.

For, fcixi. it* v%e do, wc nre uiiilnnt.' [Atidf,

Lavrl bqjune — My serricQ to jou, FrceoiaB.

Tliift i» go««l viiifK

Fixe. Kxcellenr.

[Sonttlxidtf ia tie f«a'ey fHftiet.
Ktt. We are tuidunc ! nndone !

\Aadt.
Phi. Oh, that i* the duke't dnrotied rapec !

[Aiidc.
Larei Did iwt you hear a noise, Charica?
»re. Somebody snrest-d. I ttiuughL
Litvrt. Ihiiiui It, there nrc thieves in the hou«c
^^ril be aiQOtif; them.

[Takts m pUtal,

Kit Laek-ft-rfav, »! it mm otij ike nt;
they tomeiiiDC-s uweae for all the w«*M, 1^ a
chnwiao ; bcrt. Jock, Jack ! be lau got nkl,
tit Pu» Pum

Lnel AooM: iben, ni rutv bin. Hv^
Jark. Jerk : Push, Pu<b

A'if. Your honour wno't
your h<mrKir, dnn*!-

bc

io ra<h— Pmj,

LoveL Stand ^! here, Frmnatt' Mfv'» a
barrvt for btwineia, with a bnu* of ilosv "nd

well-primed, H yoo we Fmsnan. HI

hold y<iu five to four; oay, I'U hold veu twe to
one, I lut tlie cat thiua^h the key-twile c( thai
panlnr*door-

F'ta Try, try ; but 1 liiiak tl impoMifalc-

Ijrrfi. 1 am a damned |[uud m-i-Viman
[rtH'Ax the ffulot, and poimtt it Im tkm ptmin
dour.] Now, for it ! [A viottml ikhek, ttmd aA «
i/»w-t(urrrrf.] WIkj ihe devil are tbcee?" -Obc
tw o — three — four >

Phi. They are partiailar friends o£ mine, lir ;
wrvanu Iu wnie oobieoKn in the aogiybaBr-
hood.

/.crdL I t^ you there were tbitvfs ia tb*
hou^e.

Frtu lla,h«.l«!

Pki, I aasore year booour the? hae« biM
entertained at our nwn etpeaoe* upon my word.

K it. Yes, indeed, your honour, if it «m thi
lobi word I Itad lo speak.

I.,ovtL Take up that bottle. [Pnn.tr tmkn Ufa
IvKle with a tttktt tu it, and it fo*me otT.] Bfetlg it

harii. Do you umibIIt eiitcrtaitt yuur OMnpia;
with Tokay, MoiiMCiit }

Pki. I, tir, tmu with wine !

ImdcL O jce, fmni liunibie port eo impiral
Tokay, too. Yci, I luvca Kukay.

\MimkkimM Iwry

PAi. How* Jcratny, iBT tuoiier!

Kit. Jfiitinv ! the devil *

Pki. Your honour is at present in liqiMr; bal,
ia the nu>mir)<*. wheu your honour ia lecuwtiiii
I will M'l nH to nsliU a^ain.

S-XteU [Uon^m^ kit reumtrnmrna,] Well M
nil to n^lilM, iwnv — fhcrv. 1 am wib«r, al yoor
scr\'itc. Uluit hnvc you to mv, Phihp * [Phi-
lip starts.] You mny well stait — Go, get oui of
uiy •ii;hi !

Dukt. Sir, 1 Imvc nut the >K»tnur to be biewa
to yoQ. but 1 liave (he honour to Mffrr his pace
UlP «liikf of

ijKfL Anil ihe iiupndcnce. funiliarly u n-
tame hi« title? Your (iraoe will iri«e mr faave
to trll Tou, that n the door; and, if yna ew
enter (Vcrc u^io, I aMurc you, tny lord dDkr.
1 will bmiL every bone m ymr grace* •kia!-'
Beeone!

linke. [Aiide.] Low-bred fellow**

[£rW.

Sjrtxt, I hcQ ymir ladyship** pardon ; prrinp*i
thcv cait't go without c^ain — ha, ha, ha '

Fret, tU, bo, ha ! [Sia Uamii at^A t^

GAttBlCK.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

9S3

I

Tjuiv Char. This comes nf vUiting commoners,
' [£si(.

Lady Bat, Tbej are downright Hottenpots.

[Eiit.

PAi and Kit^ I hope your bonoar wUl not
trnkt tway our hrrad ?

JjrveL Five hundred pounds will set vou U|)
in K chocolate-houM!. Vmi'll sliit»? in tiie bar,
mulam. I have been an (^jrc-witAess of your
TOKuerft eitrAvaguice, and ingrntitude.

Fhi. and Kit. Oh, sir— Guod sir !

IjuteL You, madam, may stay here till to-
morruw ntoniing — And there, iiuuhuii, is the
book yoo lent roc, whidi I beg vou'H read —
night aitd mortung before you e»y your pray-
en.

Kit. I am mined and undone! [£ri<.

Lopel. Itut you, sir, lor vour villainy, nixl
(wbat I hate wone) your hypocriky, hIiuII not
•t«y a minute longer in this housr ; and here
comes an lu>oc«t man to shew yon tlie H-ay out.

Your keys, ar

fpBiLiP pvei the keyi.

Enter Tou.

Tom, I rc5pect and value you ; yoo are im honest
servant, and shall never want cncouniKi-mcnt —
Be so gpod, Tom, as to «ee tliat geniluman out of
nj hooae, {foinU to Pniiip.] and then inkc
Hwrfp of ihc cellar and plate.

Jlam. I thank your honour; but I would not
rise on tbe ruin of a fclUiw-senratit.

LffveL No remonstrances, Tom; it shall b«
as I say.

P/iL What a cursed fool have I been!

[Ercunt Serrantt,

Ijftti. Well, Charles, I must thank you for my
frolic : it has been a wholesome one to me ; havo
[ done right ?

Free. Kntirely: No judge could Imve deter-
mined belter. As you punisliRd the bad« it wac
but justice to reward the good.

Lo'mI. a fnitbfiil servant i» a wortliv charac-
ter

Free. And can never receive too much cocou-
rngemeni.

Lord. Ri^ht!

Free. You have made Tom very happy.

Lovel. And I intend to make ynur Robert 10,
torn Every liunest servant should Le made hap-

py-

Frte. But what an in^uOemhle piece of ohu-
ranee is it in mme of these fellows to affect and
imilntc llieir roasters' manners ?

LovcL What manners must tboMt be which
they ctm imitntc ?

Pree, True.

JjuxL If persons of rank wonid net up to
their stnndard, it would be impossible tliat tlieir
servants could ape them ; but wtica tiiey affect
every thln^ thai is ridiculoas, it will be in the
power of any low creature to follow their tvua*
pie.

[Kseunt omn.es.

THE

MINOR.

BT

FOOTS.

DBAMATIS PEBSON^.

MEN. .
Sift WiLLi&K Wealthy,^^ Aer to Sib George.
Shift, a sharper.
Smirk, an auetioneer.
Sir Georoe Wealtht, the Minor.
liOADER, a g»me$ter.
JUr liiciiARD Wealtby, uttcU to Sir George.

Dick, urvant to Sib Gborob.
Transfer, a luurer.

WOMEST;

Lucy, daughter to Mb R. Wbaltst,

Mrs Cole, an aid bawd.

Scene — London,

ACT L

SCENE I:

JSnferSiR William Wealthy, anrfMB
UiciiARD Wealthy.

Sir Wil. Come, come, brother; I know the
world. People, who have their attention eter-
nally fixed upOD one object, can't help being a
little narrow in their nouons.

R. WeaL A sagacious remark that! and highly
probable, that we merchants, who maintain a
constant correspondence with the four quarters
of the world, should know less of it than your
fashionable fellows, whose whole experience is
bounded by Westminster-bridge.

Sir Wil. Nay, brother, as a proof that I am
not blind to the benefit of travelling, George,
you know, has been in Germany these four
years.

R. Weal. Where he is well grounded in gop
miag and gluttony : France has fumi&hed him

with fawning and flattery; Italy equipped Ui
with capriols and cantatas; and, thus acco*-
plished, mv young gentleman is returned wiAi
cargo of whores, cooks, valets de chambre, sm
fiddle-sticks, a most valuable member d^ ^
British commonwealth.

Sir Wil. You dislike, then, my Bptaa ti^
cation?

R, WeaL Most sincerely.

Sir Wil. The whole?

R. Weai. Every particnlar.

Sir WiL The early part, I sbonld hatf'^
might merit your approMtion t

R. Weal. Least of alL What, I npp«^
cause he has run the ^untlet diroiq|;b a pil*
school, where, at sixteen, he had practiaed***
vices than he would otherwise have heard of ^
sixty !

Sir WiL Ha, ha, prejudice !

R. Wcul. Then, indeed, you removad hi» "

litr; where, lc«t liis mnraU iihould be
Knil Kis iiiidcr<liindine iiiipnrvcU, vmi
t Iiitn free from ihc restraint nf tlie oik,
dn]di;cr¥ of llie otlicr. by tlir privi[r|;cil
XI ni* n >ilk i(iin-ii and m vrtvot ntp.
i>7. And iiil t))e»e t^'iiny you tluiik* a cicy
[| would iiBvc preveiitcti ?
tat. UoubtlM'i. Pr ivcrbs proverbs.
kVilliaio, cnnvfjr whutewimc insrrutrioD.
&l ibi: milt of all evil. Rt^ulnr hiiUTH,
Pbmplovitieitt, and good eiaiuple, aiu't
tnn tb« mind.

./. Why, (nily, brother, hfwJ you stuck
tJd ciuc vict's, hypocTisy, ro/.eiiage, »iid
] don't know whetlicr 1 ini^ht nut fiave
id (icoree tr> your rare; but you owk-
r beat us niibiirbituts ut trur arm wea-
Vhat, uld b<iy ! iniies an* I'tiaUKcd wux
of thy indentures ; whon the. sleek, crop-
entice used t" dunzle after his niibtress,
ercHl bible und*rr liis ami, lo St RridcS
id«Y ; bring hoine iIk* trxt, repe-it the
of the dbtcoursc, diue tit trt-elve, and n.*-
m R gnudy day, with buns and beer at
nr Miio-cnd.

mA WoT»def fully fncetinu* !
H. Our iiuMlnm lodK are of a diA'tRnt
I^hryhave ibeir gnmiiik' clubs ia tbc ^r-
r little lod^in^s thr snug depositiiries of
ly •tw'irds and occiutiomtl hua-wic*; th*ir
r the turf; uyc, aiKl tUcir coiiuui^aion!!
uptcy too, before they arc well out of
c.

«/. Tnfamoas aspenuon t
it But the last meeting at Newmarket,
,y received at the ha/and- table, the idt.-[>-
I from die indiridunl tailur to mIiuh) lie
Ljc but the day before for a tww Mt of

w/. Inveutjon !

i/. These are anecdotes Tou will never

h in ¥our wfr^'kly tnivcU irom Cutcatcii-

your boordtd t>ux in Claplmui, brother.

at And yet that boarded box, ta yimr

ftpendlhrift »rocccd.% will wwu be tiic

. of die foiniiT.

\L May be not. Who knows what a re-

D our proji'ci may produce ?

mL 1 do. Nunc at all.

ItWhywf

at Becnuse ynur means are ill-^iropor-

» their ettd. Were Jic my wn, I would

/. Aa yoa have done ynur daughier.
him. But consider, I have but one.
at That would weigh nothing with tne:
Cbarlnitc to set up a u-ill of ber own,
tt thu nun of my dwiice, &hc mu&t ci-
Hare the fate of her sister. I considtr
as a AtuuDcr kind of kingdoms, mid
i«c disobedience in the one aa severely

punish*'d m rebellinn in the other. BoUi cut off
from ihcir rcspcctue m ten ties.

Sir iVH, p.iur Lucv ! But -turely yon begin lo
relent, .\Iay not I intercede ?

R. Weal. L(K»k'e, hnitht-r, ynu know my mind.
f will be ahsotute. If I rueddic with the nian-
agruient uf rour jhmi, ii i^ nt your own request ;
but if, directly or iwtirertiv, you interfere with
my bunislun^nt of ihni wilfiil, head>stnti)<!, difr-
olicHieiit hu'sy, all lies between us are brAc;
and [ shiill no more reummher yuu as a brttther,
t)ian r do licr hs a child.

Sir ir*A I have done. But to return. You
think tiicre is pmbubility in my pUii?

H. IVfaL I ftliati iitiend the i««iue.

Sir iri/. Yuu will lend v'Mir nid, how«erf

K. Weal, Wc ahall see )i'jw you go oft.

Enter Serrant.

Sfr. A letter, sir.

Sir Wil. Oh, frooa Capias, my attorney i Who
hrotjBhl it ?

Srr. TIte ncrsnn is without, ur.

Sir WiL Bid fans woiL [Rrit Semata,

(ReaiU.
* Worthy Sir,

* The bearer is the person I promised to pr<>-
' cure. I thought it was proper for yoii In c\a-
' mine him viva voce. So if you administer k few
' interrotiUTuries, you will fioil, by crojs-qticstioo-
' wf him, whether he ia a competent irtervin lo
' pniiicrate the cause inn wjt ot. I wiJi you a
' ipccdy iv^uc; and as there run be no default iti
' yotir jud^iment. am nf 'ipinioo it sluiuld be car-
' riud into iniiuediate rxecutinn. 1 am,

• Worthy Sir, &c'

TiuoTBY Capias.

* P. S. The party's name i» Samoel Shift. H«
' is an admtmble mrmr, or mimic, and maM delec-
' tabic nnnpnnv; as we experience e»»Ty Tucs-
* day nit;ht ut uur club, the Muj;py and Uone-
' shoe, I'ettcr-Uuc/

Very methodical iodceil, Mr Capias !-niuhn.

Enter Servant.

Bid the person who brought this letter walk in.
[Esit Serrtinf.] Have you any curiosity, brt^
tlwr ?

R, WfaL Not a jot. I must to the 'Cluince.
[n the evcninK you mny find me tn the conntint;-
hou^e, or at JrMinthan's. \Ent K. Wkaltut.
Str WH, Yuu »liall bear from tne.

Enter Suifr end Servant.

Shut the door, Johii, and remember, I am oot at

9h

Home. [Erit Servent.] You came from Mr

Hhffh I (lid, sir.

Sir Wil. Your namr, I tbinlii is Shift f
SltiJ'i. It is Bir.

Str Wil. Did Mr Capiat drop noy hint of my
business with you f

SAiJi. Nfinc. He only said, with his specta-
cles uii tiift iiohc, and hi& hand upon his chiUf sir
Willinm Wealthy is a re apcnnhie personnpe, and
inv rJicttt -. he wnnis to rt-i»ui you in n tt-rtain
altair, luid will npen the ai-^ and v'i^^' >^u vour
brief liiniwlt*: if you adliere d) liis* instruct urns
and carry yimrnmf*, lit i'* i-eiicious, and will
diwharue )nitr lull wiihuui tiuntioci.

,^> ICi/. Ha, ha ! my frietiil Capias to a hnir !
— Vl'cll, sir, thi» is no bud ftpceiincn of Tour
abilities, but »cc that the dour is fast. I^ow,
air, yon orr ro—

Mi/ir. A moriLFniS pause, if you please. You
must IkOow. aJr U illiaui, I urn a prodigious ad-
iDJrer uf furms. Nou, Mr Oipiiis telU mc, iluii
ic is alvtvys the nilc to administer a recainmgJee
before vou ciiter upor the merits.
Sir U'il. Oh, sir, I hep vour pardon!
S/ttft. Noi thai I qHestfoiiciJ v<iur generoMty ;
btil tonus, vuu kuuw —

Sir Wit No apulocy, I bes. But as ve art
lo have a cIomt coiuiti-iiiiii, it may not b<'
ttniiss hv way of iulroducuon, to underhand
tme atmtlier a liulc. Prny, sir, where was juu
liom?

■SAf/7. At my father's.
^'j< Wit. Hum ! — Aud what was be?
Mtf). A petit lemnn.
&r Wit. Whtil tviis you bred f
Shifi. A ccntlcman.
Sit IfiY. ilow do you live?
S^ifi. IJkc a eoiilleinnu.
Sir Wit. <.'ould uoiliing induce you to un-
bost.m yourself*

attifi. ij^ul'e, sir M'iSliuio, there b a kind of
sornettiiDg in your countpimnce, a certiiin
openness and peuerosity, » je ne uai io your
mariner, that, I will unlock ; — You sliall see me
all.

Sir Wit. You » ill oblige me.
Sftifi. You ninat l.iiow, ibfn, tbnt fortune,
which frequently deli4tht» to raise iJie nohli.-»[
Mruclurfs froui the Mniplest fouiidniions; who
from a luihir mode h pojie, from a gin-tyliop on
eujpn'ss, aud [finny a prime miimter from no-
thing ut all, liHS thou):>it rit to raise me to my
pri">4'ut lui^hi, tVom tiic humble employment of
— Li-:lii your Honour — A link Imiv.

Sir Wit. A pleusaut fellow ! Who were your
parents ?

Shitt. I "US produrt'd, ur, by a lrf\-lmnded
lUBrrm;:*^; m flie lauguugeof the newspapers, U-
Iween nii illustrious lamp-lighter and im itiiienint
cat and doj; butcher. Cat's mcai and duK^iueiit.
1 dure My, you have hnutl my mother, sir. iiut

as to titis happy pair I owe little hea*(l£s iny be-
ing> I shall drop ihem wtwre they drupt nie — in
liie street.

Air II li. Proceed.

A'At/K My first knowledge of the world T ntie
lo a schitid whtch has pntdnn-d many » attsA
man — the avenues of tlw phivhoUM.'. llM-rr» wr,
leaning nn my extiu)iuit>hcd link, 1 learncri (lex-
Ccnty fmin pirk-)x*ckeu>, connnuncc from cua-
Muble^ politico and fa>hi'iii« frum fuotmen, and
the nrt uf making: a.id breakiiif; a prouuMr frum
their masters. Here, sirrah, light mc mnwa
keiiiM I. 1 liiipe yi>ur honour will rcnieitider
Jack. You rai:^ed mscal. 1 huvc nu haltp

— I'll pfty you the next time I see you. But,

lark-u-iiay, sir, that tiiuc 1 saw lu sclduui as hu
trade^nen.

Sit WiL Very well.

Shift. To Lhe!« accomplishments from with-
out the iheatre, 1 must add one thut I ubtaiocd
within,

Ail Wil. How did you eain »lmtttanrc th«vT

Shift. My merit, sir, ihiil, like luy fn^k, lhrc«
a ruHiHiic-e round ine. A detuchinenl fn->m ibe
hcH(l-quarTcr!i here to>tL [>it<ise4sioti, iu the saia-
incr, nl u eouiitry corpurutiou, wliere I dul the
honours of the burit, by sweeping the aia^s
ami i-lippiTij; the candles. There my dLitl aiiC a^-
tire^s were ^o conspicuous iliat it pnK'unit ne
thr same oStcc, the cntuiti^ n inter, at Unirv-^ant,
where I anjuired iutrepidiiy, the cruwii of'aU aj
virtues.

Sir Wif. How did you obtain tliat?

Shift Uy my posL I-or, I tlmtk. sir, be ihst
dureK stimd the shot of the gallery, in lighbq^
BimtlinC, and Nweepm)!, the fir>t nit;hc of a Bt«
play, may bid defiance tu the pillury, with all in
cuvtoiuarv compliments.

.Sir Wit. Some truth in that.

titiiji. Uut an unlucky crab-apple, appBed <>>
riiy n^ht eye by a patriot ^inEcrbri'ad baknftns
tin- lioroudh, who would not suHer three dsnctn
horn Swit7erluTid, becau'-e he haled tlie Fiead^
forced me to a preciiJitnic rcirtat.

.Sir Wit. Pmir devil!

ShiJ^. Bni)i>hu and Cnntndcs have done tl(
same. But, as it happeued, hke a teiuu»^l, I
ro9« hij:her from I'.e rebound.

Sir Wtt. How BO?

a/tifi. Aly misfortune, tir, mttftd ibe canp*^
Mon i>f OQC of our perliirmer^, h nhnti-icxl »■*■
he look nie into liis stnire. Io him I )i*'i
what, I bt.-h('Vt-, will make ni<! useful Coyott.

Sir Wit. txplnio.

Shift. Why, sir. my roaster was rmiailit*'
happy iu an ari, wliidi, however disestecwot <t
p^e1^ent, is by Tully, reckoned uuiuu^ the [>«•
fecttons nf ail nraior : inimickry.

6ir Hi/. Why, you are deeply read, >!'
Shift I

SJii/t, A auiatteriitg— but as I was saya^^r

FOOTB,]

BRITISH DRAMA.

BotKins; came amiit lo my master: Bipeds or
qtindnipcHs ; nitionals or animaJs; from the
claiiiimr oi Ute bur In lite tiickle of tlic biini-
d'jor ; i'rvm the soporifit Iwatia of ifie titt>cniftrlc
of Tptteiiham-fYiiirt to tlip inelofJifHn bmv ol
dwir |t>iit:-i-4UTd brethren in Huiilnill-ficlils; nil
Were objfxu uf bis iitiiiation Knrl mv ntu^ntioii. Id
a word, sir, for two wbole yi-ars iiiuUr Ibis prn-
fcavir, I rtiidied and iton-cJ, iinpoveri^btd mv
hoiiy, and pair>|ieii.fl mv inirKi ; (ill, tliiiikini; mv-
»rlf prettT pQnr tf|tml t<> mv inusttT, I mtidf
him turn of his own buws, ajid k-l up for my-
•clf.

Sir Wit. Yoo bflve been successful, f hope?

S*t/(. PrettT well. I oimiot nimpUin. My
Art, ur, is a patt<-piir'taul. I stlduni vrotit cm*
plovnient. Let's >cc bow stand 'uy cntapemeiua.
fi'o//f-out (I fiMket-botik] Huin— bum— Ob '
w'Hnwdny nt Airs (jutnmutV near llniiovfr-
■qtifcrf. Tlwrc, tbcrr. I sbitll male a inoal itpxn
Ae Mtn^ntti ; fur li*r UdN^-hip i« in the opfra
lbCi*re.st: but, huMrver, I sbnll rc^ciisc her muse
9pon Ikt liviil Miittci. Sumliy evfuini; nt ladv
pMC«riul»*s <!oiirert. Thur'^ay 1 din« upnn ih<'
BTton, with ten Tcmplurs, at the Mitre, iit Vbi-t-
■lrc«t. Kridnv I am to (jive the atnomu^ pnrlev
iftMo iittriculnic cut& ID a gutter, «itli tbe di-i-
kubrnj; nf « hen-rooet, nt >lr D<'j)uty Sutjarsop's,
ftrar iKe Munumcnt. $o, sir, you we mv liand^
Are full. In short, kir Wdliatn, tbeir. U not n
buck or a turtle devoured nitbiti the billsofmur-
kttity. but (here 1 may, if ( plv»M>, siickannpli^m
•nder my cbia.

tHr ifiV. I'm of mid, MrSliift,! most break
a little upon your encasements ; but you
riiall be DO lostp bv tt»e bargain.

Shifi. Cammand me.

Sir WiL You caa be oecret as well w scrricc-
■Ue?

S^fi. Mule u a madtarel.

Sir Hj7. Coraebiiher, tbeo. If you betray me
4» my Km ■ -

Shifi. Scalp toe.

&> Wti Enough. — You mo« know, then, tbe
ImpD of our family are, Mr Shift, centered ia
one bof.

Ski^. 4nd T wnrnuit be is a hopeful one ?

&r H'lX No iiitemipliim, I be(», 0<^>rce ha«
Wrn abrtxtd (he«e four vcani ; and, from bis bttt-
le^iaiiour, I ha%e reason to believe, that, bud a
<Rrtain cveot haf^ned, which I'm afnud be
ViJicd — my death—

S^i0. Ye?: tbtit's natural enoufib.

S*r WiL X*y, pmy, — there would 9'Mjn be an
Aul b> an aooent and bnnuumblc fiinitly.

Shift. Wry UK-Inucholy. indeed. But fatnl-
trs fikr bewms will wear (o tbe »tuinp», and
Jaally fret mit. as you «ay.

Sr Wil. Prithee, peace for five minutes !

Skift. I am tijn£ue-fy'd.

S^ Wil- \nw I liave projected a scheme to
present tbis celomiiy.

Shift. Ay. I ihould be cIsH (o bear llmt.

Sir ll'iA I am going tu icll it yuu.

Shift. Proceed.

Sir Wil. Gcorije, as I have contrired Jt. idiall
fxpiTiciicp »ll tbe miscnea of real rain, without
running the lcft.*t n k.

Shift. Ay, that niti be. a coup rfe maitrt.

Sir Wii. I have pri^vailed upon his uncle, a
wenlthv citizen —

S^tj). I don't like a ritv plot.

Sir WiL I tell thee it is my own.

Shiji. I ben pardon.

^*mV 117/. M^ brother. F my, Komc time since
wrote bim a circnrnMunlial at-ronnt of my death;
upon which he is returned, lu lull cxpcctauon of
HUtCffdinf; to mv c^tJlte.

Shift. Immctfitticly ?

Sir WiL No; nikcnat ngc. lu about three
innnlbs.

Shift T nndentand you.

i^r Wil. N I'M, Air, guessing into nbac bandt
my hecftless boy would nniornllv full on bis re-
iiirn, I ha\p, in a fci^nt'd t.buracter, a»socinted
■iiyvelf Midi a Kt of ru«c:d*. who will spread
every bait that ran flatter folly, inflame extruva-
imnre, aJture inexperience, or catch credulity.
And when, by their inennK, he thinks bituscif re-
duced to the last extremity, Lost crcu to tJie
moM distant hope —

Sfiift. WImt then?

Sir Wil Then, will T*tcp tn, like bis giinrdinn-
aiigel, and snatch hiro from perditinn. Jf, mor-
ti6ed bv misery, be becxime^ consr-iouit of his er-
ror*. I Iia\e -rfived mj son; but if, on llie other
hand, gnititude can't bind, nor ruin rcclniiu
him, I will ca^t lijmout, att an alien ti> my bloud,
and tru^t for the support of my name and fami-
ly to a remoter hrniich.

Shift. Bravely restilred ! But what part am I
to sustain in tbti drama?

Sir WiL Why, Gw>r!;e, you arc to know, is al-
ready stript of what money he could coinmimd
by tw o !)harpers : but a;s [ never trust tbcu out
of my sigbt, their can't deceive me.

Shiff. Out ofyour Hoht !

Sir WiL Why, I tell thee, I am one of tlic
knot: an adfpt in tlteir sci«>nce; can slip, shuf-
fle, coe, or cut with tiic liest nf them.

Shift. How do you escape your soo't d(h
lice *

Sir WiL His firm persuasion of my death, with
the estravajrancc of my discniso. Why, I would
'■"ff»lC^ to elude yopr peneiraiion, when I aiq
l>ruuc(l out for the hamn. But id' thut by and by,
lie has recourse, aHcr bis ill succeo^s to the ten
fwr cent gcntrv, the usurers, fur a fartlicr sup-
|,Iy.

Shift. Ntitunil enough.

AV Wit Pray.dn you know, I forgot Ins nam«,
n wrinkled old IcIIhw, in a thrt-;)d-bnrccual ? He.
-its every tnoroinc, from twelve till two, m iho
left curucr of Lloyd's cotTee-liuuac ; and every

^

fi68.

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Foorr-

evrnine. from five till eight, under the clock, mt
tlicIViuplt: Kxcliante.

SA,f't. What, little Transfer, Uic broker?
Str III/. ["Ill- same. Do jfou kno* him?
Shi/l. Kiinw hi«n ! Ayr, rot hitti 1 It was but
I'lui EnsUT I urirflav lie h«il nie turned out, lit a
^.frast ill Ixnthpr-sclkrVhall, for sin^iii^ Rwm
fur ruckotdt, like a parr(»r; anii vimeil it mtwit
'■ rrBM^ioii u|^w*ii ihr whole hody coipnmtc.
Sir iVtt. You huvc reawn lo rcme.-nhcr him.
S/ii/t. Vc*., ,VC8, 1 rectiiniiitnrffd h minor to
-iiim iiivM-lf. for ttic lonii ouljf uf fil'iy pounds;
l«U(l, nould you believe it. Aft I hope to he (»av*d,
rwc diiiL-d, supped, and wtrited live and ihirlj
I cuincaH upiio lick, iu im-etiii>:5 at ihd Cross
Ke*s, iu onliT to wtllf thu terms i and, after all,
tJic ••rtiuiidrel would not Iniil us ii ativcr.
,Sir Wit. ("aoUi yuu p(T»'.ruitte him ?
Shtji. lliin? Ulu Tou fthall we mc shift iQto
bis atuifiible in a minute, nnd with b withered
I fui'e, ;i bit ula purple VAtse, ncautionaiv stmn-
I Dbcr, and n >\wk ailvei brad. 1 would undertake
I to flcreivc even tiis bunker. But, to &peak ih«
truth. I have a friend thaf can do thiH ininutablv
I «ell, llu%e out you acmieihing of more coin
icgucurc for me ?

sir H'll. I liHve. Could imt you, miu»ter
F Shift, ii.»»nmc anoibi-r sbd|ic? Vou have attend-
ed uuctioiis i

Shy't. Auctions ! n constant pufT. Deep in
tlie mv^tcrv ; a profrtscd eonnoiseur, from a
[ filter lo a Nautilus; from the ApoUu Bctvidcrc
t4i a butterfly-

>Si> It'iV. Unc of ibcfK- insinuating; oily omlors
1 will ^t yuu to pcrsoiialf; for we must haw
t)ie plHie nud jeweh in our putMi&siuil, ur thejr
VI ill Mion fall into other hnnds.
SAiJl. I will do it.

Utr H'iL Withia I'll give you brther instruc-
tion^,

SAi/}. I'll follow you.

Sir Hi/. [Going, rclurm.] You will will want
innierialv

SAi/t. Oh, mv dreu I can he fumixhed with iu
fivi- niiiMite*. ff,'ji(SiB W1LLI4M.] A wbimsicul
old h\itt\v ilii? ! I itbnil lau^h W thi^ ^ heme min-
cnrrit-'*. I bu\c a straiiite mind to lend it u litt .-
never had a grealer. Pho, a damned unnatural
coimrcimn this ot' mine! \\ hut liuvc I to do
with failiiTA and );uurtliHi»! a purcrl of preacll-
ins, prudent, careful, curuiud);(--only — dead to
pleavurev themM'lve% ajid the blasters of it in

others. Mrit; doK^in a manner No, no;

I'll veer, luck ahuut. open my budget to the boy,
join in a omntor-plol. But, huVd, hold, hold,
frit-nd Sit>phcti ! M>e, first, how the land lies. —
^^ho knows whcThcr thiii Ocnoaiiized (tennis lins
finrtB to rnmprehend, or spirit to reward, ihir
merit. 'I litrt's dangfr iu thai ; ay, roarrv lis
tb»-re. 'r.i.'ad, before I shift the iK-lm, I'll first
cxftouui: Llie coast; and, then, if there bt but a

hold shore and a good bottom — Uavt a cnre, old
Square Tue», you will meet with ytmr match.

[Eiit.

Enter Sir CEORce, Loader, mud Scrrant.

Sir Geo. Let the martin panneU for tlw t'»%'
vi« be carried bi lAng-acxc, and the pyc-fa^l*
acnt to Hall's to tie bitted. You will tiiTc tac
Irnve to be in your debt till tiie rvrarn^ Mr
fjoudrr. I have jn«t enough to diicharge the
bnruii ; and we must, you know, be punctual
with him, for t <e eiedit n( the country.

Limtl. Fire him, a Mmb-nosed son of a bitch!
Levant me, but he got eiwui^h Inst night to pur-
chase a prindpnlity nmoog^t his couDtryiDCQ, the
liigbdntrhinns and Uu^^arians.

Sir Geo. You hnd your iiliurc, Mr [.Aadrr.

I^tiii. Who, I? Lurch me at t'ottr, but I wa»
marked lo the lop of your trick hy the barout m;
d«;ar. Whnt, 1 am no cmque tuicj quatrv maiL
t'omc, ^ltnll nc have a dip in the lustorv o(' the
Four Kin£» tliii moriung:?

.Sir Gev. Katlier too early. Besidea, it il the
rule abnjad, am er to engage afreah till oar oU
scores arc discharged.

Lnad. C apai me, hut those lads abroad nrc- pretty
teiUms, lit tht-m !>ay what tlu7 will, llrrc, ar,
they will vowel you, from father to son, lo the
twentieth zciicratioa. They would ai mmio bow
u-iluys pay a tnidesnitm's bill ait o pla^'-debl. —
AH ticn^H- of honour i> ){onc ; not a sttrcr fttirnn^
Tliev could ai soon raibc the dead as two pouaa
two, Nick me, but I Imve a great mind to lie
up, and ruin the niticnls. Wbal, tiaa Tnuifer
been here this morning i

Enter Dick.

Sir Geo. Any body here tliLs taorain^ Dii

Dick. NoUkIv, yimr honour.

J.onii. tlepi<]ue die rasuil \ ]le nroBiisH 10
he ht-re btlorL mc.

Duk. I bcR your honour's pardon. MnCflk
from iIh: Piuzza was here bctwcea ac^es MmI
cipIlL

Sir Geo. All early hour for a lady of her cal'
ItiH^

J)irk. Mt rcy on mc ! the poor gcntlcwoaaa
it mortally nltered situ»> we used lo ladfce iIkk^
in our jaunts from Oxford; wrapt up in flaaadi;
all over tl»e rheuniali&v

Ijiod. Ay, ay, old Moll ia at her lutstakik

Dick. Si\e b^d mc say, she just RtO|iC ia kr
way 10 tlie Tabentacle; after thccifaor[auuA,Ai
Bay», she'll call again.

Sir Cfo. Exhortation ! Oh, I recollect Wtil,
whiUt tliey only make proselytes fnun itiat pro
fe!>s»iii, tJicy arc heartily welcome to them. A*
doo» not mean to make mc u o^trrt?

Dit:k, i believe she has buuia auch deaiga 1^

FOOTR.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

M»

on me ; fur slie offered me a bonk of hyraus, a
abiliiiit*, and a dram to go along Mridi her.

Hir Geo. No b;td kriieim", Dick, Fhuu boat a

fiiir, MitM.-r, psnltii'lineiiiK rounteiianrv and

witpfl thou hitAt h(.*cii 5oine time in iliifir tniiii*
nirK iiiay^ iiutl;^c as able a teacher aa the best
of thtin.

Dtck. Liiud, fttr, I want Icarnine I

&r Geo. Oh, the spirit, the spirit, will supplif
«U thatr Dick ; aever fear.

£HterSi* Wiui-i&u.ofa Gemianb0ron.

Mf dear bamot ivbai ncw» from tlie Iluvmar-
kct-^ WImi MVi (he Floreuza? Does she yield r
Shall I be liajipy f Saj yv\ aod commaud ii)<f
fonaac.

Sir WiL t wa» ncTcr did see mi fine a u-omnn
nnce t nn-i \rn\e lluml>un;h: derc was all dc
Ciiloiir, all reil and wliiU^ d^l wan i|iiire imtii-
ral ; poiut d'urtitioe. Tlicu iixc nan dau>-c and
ling -l TOW tu llcaveu, I was never see dc
liU!

Sir Gro. Biit how did she receive idt emba»-
9yy WhatlK>pc9?

Sir Il^t Why derc was Monsieur Ic Cheva-
lier, when I first enU-r, dree iir four doiimed
queer pcr>ptc; ali, ah, ditughl I, by (>adt i gui-w
yuur biisineu ! ]!)cre was one fat big woinaiis,
dat I know Inax time; \e valet ilc chatnbre »»»
tell me that she caiue from a grand mcrcliand ;
faa, ba, dougtic I, br jour learct suclc to your
•hop; or, if ^ou must have de pretty p.r\, derc is
de phtT-lwrn*, drtt do very well fur you ; but fur
dr opera, parduniiez, by Gar, dat is meat for
jour lUii-ter.

Sir Geo. Insolent mechanic ! But she despised

.St/ ini .Ah, mn for, he is damned ricli, has
hcftu«:iKip de Kuincas ; but after de fat woman
was l^>, I was tell the Signom, madaiu, der is
one cmaiii dicsahcr of dis country, who has
travailed, wc de world, bien fait, well made,
beaacoup d'c^prit. a ureal deal uf monies, who
bcc by <i:ir, to liarc dc tiunour to druw himself
at jruur fecL

Sir Geo. WclU well, harno.

Str IIV. Slie a-iVa yuur name: ms soon as I
tell btr, aha, bv Uar, dnuk an in%tnnt siie melt
bk^ dc lump of sugar ! ^hc run tn her btrnurcau,
and, in dc mmutr, return uid de paper.

&r Geo. Give it me. — * Lcs prclimuiarie d-
* une iraitc eutrc Ic chevalier Wealthy and ta
'Sit^noia Diameuti.' A ba^olle, a inBc: she
■had hare it.

Ltmd. tlarle, knight, what ia all fliat there
onilandi^i stulT?

ISit Gfu Read, read ! ihe eloquence of angels,
Oty dew biiron ^
JjmJ. Slam tut. hut ihe mun't mad ! I dom't
undentaiMl their gibben&U. \\ tut u it in Kiig-
Inhf

I

I

Sir Geo, Tlic preliminaries of a subsidy treaty
betwcfu air G. Wealthy and signora Florcnjtn;
that tlie said signora will resifoi the posacvsion
rjf her pe»<un to the snid sir Ceorce, nn the pay-
ment of three hundred guiucas niontlily, lor
equipage, rahle. domestics, dress, dogs, and dia-
monds ; Iter debts to he duly dischor^d, and a
note advanced of iive hundred by way of cih
trance.

Load. Zotmds, what a cormorant ! She must
be deviliali liandsoroc!

Sir Gio. 1 am told m>.

Load. Told BO ! Why did you never sec her ?

Sir GfO. No ; and poMibly never may, but
from my box at llie opera.

/^lai/. I Icy-da? ! Why, what the devil ».

Sir Geo. Ho, Fm, you stare ! I don't wander at
it. This IB nn elecaiit rf^fioement, unknown tq
the prcuA voluptuaries of this part of llic world.
I1)is is, Mr Louder, what may be called a debt
to your dij^nitv : f'jr an opvra girl is as rsnential
a pit'cc of equipage for a tuan of fashion aa lua
coach.

iMod. The devil I

Sir Geo, Tis for tlw ralfrnr only to enjoy what
they possess : the distinction uf rauks and con-
ditions arc, to have bounds, and never hunt;
ctHikii, and dine nt lavcm.i ; houses, you novur ia-
tuibit; uit»tri**w:s, you never cnjuy— -

Load. And debts you never pay. E(^, I
Kiu nut surpriH-d at it ; if this be yuur trade, no
wonder that you want money for neccMaries,
when you give such a damneil deal for nothing
At oil.

Enter Servant.

Ser. Mrs Cole, to wail upon your honour.

Str Geo. My dear baron, run, di&patch my af-
fair, oKictiulc my treaty, and duuik her fur tha
very reasonable conditions.

Sir MU, I sail.

Sir Geo. Mr Ixtader, shall I trouble yon to
introduce the lady ? idic is, I think, your aujuaui-
taiice.

Load. \Vho, old MnU ? Ay, ay, she is your
market- woman, t would not give sixpence for
Yoiir signoras. One armful of good wholesome
feritish beiiuly is worth u sliip toad of their tnip-
^iii^, Hiwdry tn^llnps. Hut, liark'c, baron, liotr
much for the tabic? W'hy, she must have a de-
vilish inrj^c family, or a monstrous stomaclt.

Str Ml/. Ay, ay; dure is her inoder, la com-
plaisante to walk m dc pnrk, and to go to do
play; two brodcrs, deux valets, dreo Spanish la)^
dop, and dc monkey.

Limd, Strip me if I would sot five shillings
auaiiist the wlwde gaii^. May my partner ro-
ni>uni e, with the [^umc in his liaod, if I were yuu^
kui^Eht, if I would not

Sir Geo. but the lady waits. — [Eiit Ixi*o.]—
A sirau<;e fclion this ! What a whimsical jar«

, fon he taTks! Kot on irtea nlwtractwl from play.

I Tn say trtlli, I nm liiH-prely sirk uf mv noqiininl-
ancc: but, hnwcvcr. I lia*c tlic 6r«t |ii'Opli.- rii
djc kinf^dom rn keep me in coimtenaoce. Death
nnd die diie tcve) all dUtiii'tioiiit.

Enter Mas Cole, tupported by Loader and
Dick.

Afrj Co/*. Gently, gentlv. gf>od Mr IjoacJer.

iiturf. Come (ilnDK, old Slull ! Why, you joHc.
you lunk as msy iliis morniii;: — I iiiusl tmve a
siuRck At your mutift. IUtl', lasw. Iter, aht ts a-i
good u old tiock tu tcet you ■ titonincli

Mrx Cole. Fie, Mr Luudcr ! I tliongUt yuu liai)
foreoi mc.

jAXid. I forget you! I woulrl as soon forget
wluit 16 (nimp^

JUr* CiWr. Softly, «oflly, yonne man ! Tlier*.
there, miehly wt'll. And h^w dnei your honour
do? I Imn't Mrn yntir honour rhc Oh! mer-
cy on mc, tltert-'i n ttvin^r

Sir Geo. What's the mutter, Mrs Cole ?

Mrs Cole. My old disorder, rhc rheumatiw; I

hnn't been abk* to net a wink of (> la !

Whnt, you bnve bct-ii in town theie two days?

Sir Geo. Since Wednesday.

Mrs CoU. And never ouce called upon old
Colc^ No, no, I am worn our, thrnivn bv. and
forvuttcn, like a talicred ganncM, as Mr :^uiiii-
urn uiys. Oh, hu » a dear mnn ! But for liinn, I
bad been a lost sheep; tiercr kiiotvn the com-
ftirt* of the new birtli ; no. — There's your old
frit'iiil Kitty Carrot at liomc slill. Wliat, shall
"ne sec you thiii erenin^^? I liave kepi ihft grcpn
room for you ever siucc I beard you were in
town.

fAtad. What, >hnll we tiike a snnp at oM
Mull's i llry, lH.-ldait], have yuu a good bututi of
burgundy abroach ?

Mrs Cole. Brifiht as a niby; and for flavour ?
You know tJie cuhiciel ? He urn! .Feniry Cunimtna
dmnk three AB5ka, hand to 6st, ia^t niji^hu

I,Mid. VVhal, and bilk thee of thy share ?

Mrs Cole. Ah, don't mention it. Mr lender.
No, that'i all (iTcr with me. 'I'ho time h&i. Ijeeii,
when I ciiuld hnvr eanie>d thirty shiilinf:* n>day
by my own dririLiuL', and the next morniut! wav
itcirhcr Vick nor snrry : liut now, (J laud ! a thiiu-
bte-fiill turn5mct(jp^v-tur\-y.

Jjmd. Poor old girl !

Mrs Cote. Ay, I have done witlj thew idle ▼«-
nitics ; my thonehts arc lisod ufvin a better place.
Wbiit, I sjppojc, Mr l.nndcr, ynu wUl he for
ymir old friend, the block-cyetl tlirl, fn>ni Homs-
nary-laite. Ila, ha! well, 'tis a merry little tit.
.A thiniMmd uitirs ihrS such a n'pn)halr ! But
ihr'll tttend ; tier time ii not crnne : all shall have
their rail, ojt Mr Squintum savs, sooner or later ;
rc2**nerntion is not the work of q day. No, no,
m* ! Oh !

Sir Ceo. N'ot worse, I hope i

Mrs Cote. Bnclc. rack, gimw, gnaw \ never tar-
?y, n-bcd or np, nil's one. Pniy, honest fnend,
have you any clary or mint-water io the houw?

Dh-k. \ cafe «if French dram*.

Mrx C"le. Ifenvrn defend me! 1 would tiot
toMch a dram fiir the Wiprld.

Sir Geo. They nre but cordtoU, Mrs Cole. —
Fetch them, you blovkltcad I

[ Eiit Diet.

Mrs CoU, Ay, I am e^inf; ft-waMinc, and a-
wastJns, sir Gcome. What will become of the
linuMT when I »m ^.nc Heaven kiinw^! Ko.—
A hen people an- miuc«l, then ibey arp mijuriH
cd. Sixteen years have I lived in the t:anlea,
nmifortHbly and rredtiahly; and, ib^meh t mj
It, could have f;ot imi\ any hour of the A»y : tte-

riitahlc tradesmen, sir Georce, iwinhlioor*, Mr
fjuder kuowft; no knt>ck mf*-<lown d^nKs in nij
house. A M!t of tegular, sedate, »r>ber ru'^fotn-
crs. No rioters. Sixiccn, did I M»y ? ay, eirfh
tfen vears hnvr I paid »cot and lor in the pnri«ll
[)f St raulS; and, dunnp lite whole time, notwMtj
luiic -^id, Mrs Coic, why do ytMi so? Cnlra
I w ice that I was before sir Tbonifts de V'al, aai
three times in the round-lioas«.

Sir Oto, Nav. dou'i weep. Mrs Cole.
Load. .May t lose deal, with an liouonr at boh
tnni, if old Mull docs not bring lean into n)
eyes.

Mrs Cole. UowrrFT, it is ft comfort, aAer all,
t» think one has passed ihroueh tit*- world widi
credit and cliBrftCter. Ay, a good narne, as Mr
^uintum wyi, is better tlioo a gallipot i>f Oiil'
tncnt.

Enter Dick, with a Jr(tm.

lumd. Comr, haste. Dirk, haste; sorrD* a
drr. Here, Mull, shull I fill tliec a bnmprrf

'Mrs Cole. |[old, hold, Mr lender! Heara
help you, I amid a£ kioh swallow the TlaiMi!
OilIv a sip tu keep the eout out of my KontarL

Load. Why. tlitn. here's to thee. Lcvaal Mi
hut ir is supernaculum ! Speak when too Iwf
enough.

Mn Cole. 1 wnn't trouble you f<>r the gbrt;
tny hiiiids tin so lr«nnble and sfiake, 1 shall M
-pill ihe pood crCHture.

lAHtd. \\>U imUed I But now to bnsiatai'''
Prithee, Mull, did not I »co n ticht vounc mtwiK
in a linen gown, knock at your door thw om'*'
inp ?

Mrs Cote. Ay ; a young thing from the coo*-

Load. Could we |ioc gel a peep al ber diif
evrnmir ?

Mrs Cole. InipnsfciMe ! She is encm|!ed n*'"'
Timothy Irntter. I have taken eanest fur btf
lliio three inoothv

Ijmd. V\v\ whnt ugnifies such a M\om u
that < Tip bim an old trader, and give ber to i^
knight.

FOOTB.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

eri

\

J/n Cole. Tip him an nl<) traik-r ! Mercy on '
OS, where do )ou cipcct to go wlicii yuu itir, Mr

hfid. Crop mc, Lut Ubs Squiiiium Iuls turned
bt I Ifruiii !

Utr Ota. Nay, Mr Louilt-r, ] tKink ihc geotle-
nuLii (uu wrought ■ iniist l)»|i)iy rrf irmiiti-jn.

Mrt Vole. Oil. it was u womlerful wurW. —
There lu'l 1 tif«n ins^int; In a nea ul' aiii, tvitfiuut
rudJcr iir luinpus*. And Inul mx tlie e<>>>d fieii-
Il«<iii4n pdxitcd in« into titc hurbour ol ^rsiv, I
must \\Avt !ttru< k a^(lin9l the rucks of rcpruba-
ti'tti, AJid hnvc been quite swHiluMitrd up in tlic
Vr(iirl|>uul ut' ilcs^r. lie wus thr prt'cum» In-
itrumml of luy ipiiiuinl ^priuklm^. Hut, ittiw-
e*CT, «r Unirup, il' V'wr mind («? •€! ufjoii a
Touug (.ouiitry thing, to-iiturruw ni^lii, I l>eliL'\e
I out furnish you.

ijhtd. Ait buw ?

Mft Colt. I have advortincd this moniitiK In
tSe re^ixer ulfici-, tor scrvmitsi iimlt^r sevciite«>n;
and ten ti> one but 1 li^lit on M>iucihiitg that uill
do.

LahiI Pitlury rac, but it hnn a fact: !
JWrj Crt/e. Truly, Cuu^isteutly with my con-
Kirnrr, t would d<i any i\\\n^ lor your h<iiinur.
^^ Ora Ilt^l, Mr» C«Ir, iit-vcr lusr »i^lil u(
rfBt UKHiiLtr. Bui, )iruy. how Iniif; hiu tliu Ilea*
■^isAj chnii|[e been vi-ruui'ht in yiuF

Afrj (Wf. Kvor mure my luil ^iwtatifMl of the

EL V\\*M\ my (xTiX fit, hTveii year^ ato, I lic-
tA Ituve niv ditutls and niv wavrrin^^; <iiii I
to»t in a fabyrinLli, and iiulHiity tii ^how iiit-
■be road. Une time I thought ol dynii; n H'>
naa, whic-h is truly a conil'orinbic citinmuuiun
eDOQich fur one w us ■■ but it wuuld nut dtj.

S*rGeo. Why mrt?

Mri CoU. I went one luminer over to Boii-
lofDc to rc-prnt; aiid, wiiuld you believe it, thi
btfr-fuoted, bald-pnird brm^jn., vnuld nut ^Ivt

me abwlution without 1 i^uittvd my bii»ine»

Did yuo PTer Inrar of »ucti a »et ol* Mrjbhy

fae«>des, I ONilil mil bear llicir liarhanty. vVould
TOO belio'c II, Mr lymdtT, th<^y lock up for tht
li***, in a nuiinerv, I'le prettiest, 5wtf ttst, teik-
ictf young Uiiugs \ ob, ii\ o( ibeui, for a waauii,

would finish my bii^ineiti here, and then I stiould
liave ••titiitii^ xn (hi hut tu think t>\ licreal'tt:r.

IjMii. lir:uid inc, wlml n cuuulry !

.Sir Ueo. Oil, M-aitdaJnu» !

Aln i'nif. <> nu, il wniild nnl do. So, in my
Inst i)Uieit!s I wAt, w-t»hct1 lu Mr Squintnm ; wU-i
ftlt-pl in with hi» xaving "race, got mo witti tlie
wv^-birth, and 1 became, a^ yuu »ce, regenerate,
uud auothcr creature.

Enter Dick.

Difk. Mr Trflusftr, sir, baa Mnt to Inow if
your h<)ninir be al hotne.

Su (fry. iMn* Culc, I am mortified to part with
you. But buMUevs yuu kii'iH

Mrt Cole. True, sir George. Mr Loader, your
arm — (Jeiitly, oh, oU !

Sir Gea. VV'uuld you take ooother Uiimblefnl.
Mrs Cole ?

Mrt Cvle. Not a drop; I shall kc jou Cbu
evening?

Str Geo. Depend upon mc.

Mrt Cote. liMntirrow I hope to suit you ■

We arc to have, at tbe Lubcrnailc, un uccnsinniil
hymn, with a tlmnk^ivin^ senmni for oiy reco-
very. After whicli, I itbiilt call at the rc^iftter-
nlbcc, and »eo wliat goinU my advcrtiseiueut baa
bruii)i,tit in.

Sir Geo. F,xtremely ohliRed to you, Mrs Cole.

Mti Cole. Or, if ihnL slmulil nut do, I have a
rit-hii ni hofuc will suit vour stumach. Never
hrntlied by a beard. Well, Htiaien hiess you—
Spitly, haven care, Mr Loader— Kii hard, yfi«
>nay as well t;ive me tlie botllc into the cliair, for
tear 1 should be taken ill on tlK road. Gcotty —
So,»o!

[Rxtnnt Mrs Cole tni Ix)4D.

Sir Geo, Dick.uuw jJiirwMrrnuisfcr in — liu,lia !
what u h'idge pod^c ! Haw ihc jmic l.n«jumbli-d
tijgetlier tlie carnal and thr jpintiial ! With wliat
cnxc she remii' ilcs her new birth to lux <ilil cnl-
liiii: ! No wonder rbcite prcacliLr^ have plenty of
prosclvtes, wliitil tbry have the arldn>9 ») com-
fiwliibly to blend the hitherto jarring iutcre*ts tif
the two worldi. [iirif.

ACT It

SCENE L

Enter Dicfc, introdueing TnANSFCn.

Dick. Mt master trill come to you presently-

[Exit Dic\.

Enter Si% Oeoroe.

Sir Ceo- Mr Transfer, your M;r\*Bnl.
7V«fM. Your t>uituur\ very humble. ] thought
to have fouiul Mr Loader here.
lur Geo. lie will rcttim immediately. Well,

Mr Transfer—but InliC a clair — toh have had a
lung wnlk. Mr Loniler, I j^rcsu ..c, opened t*
yiiu ihe iirgiocy uf ray buiincA*.'

Trttiis. /\v, ny; the (general cry, money, mo*.,
ncy! 1 doni know, fur my part, where all tlio
nuiiiey i.-^ Aiiwn to. Formerly a note, witli a to* 1,
lerabic indorsement, was as nirrent as cahh. If
your uncle Itichurd, nuw, would joiu in this s^
corily

^> Geo. ImpoMiblc.

!/Vaii«. Ay, iiko enough. I wish jw wen vf
age.

872

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FOOTB-

Sir Geo. So da T. But ks that wilt be const-
dcrrd in lite premium

TruHt. True, true ; 1 see jrou understand busi-
neM — And what sum does )rour lioouur Itick at
prcHentP

Sir Geo. lack I how mach hove you brought ?

Trvni. Who, I ? dear roc, none !

5/r Geo. Zoumi%, none !

TVdni. Idck-a-duy, none to be liad, I think.
All the morning hnve I been up«Hi the bunt. —
There, Kphnim Bnreboiies the tnllotv-chandlcr
ill Thameft-strcct, u-sod to be a never- rniliiig chap ;
not B |Euinea to be gi>t ihere. Then I uitiereH
nway to Nebiicbadiic/7iir /cbulon, iu the Old
Jewry, but itliBppontd to be Saturday ; and they
never touch on the Snbbnth, you kmnv.

Sir Gtv. Why, what tlic the drvil cnn I do?

Traits, iiotid rne, I did not know your bi^nour
had been «» pressed.

Sir Geo. My honour pressed ! Yes, my honour
i« not only pres.'^ed, hut riiir^l, unlcu I con raise
money to redeem it. That blockfKud, Louder,
to depend upon this old, doating

Trans. Well, wfcll, imjvt I declare I am ijuico
sorry to sec vour honour in »uch a tnkiitg.

sir Geo. bamn your sorrow !

IVanL But come, don't be cast down : though
money is nut tu he bud, money's worth may, and
thjit's tlie same thing.

Sir GfO. How, dear Transfer ?

Trant, Why, I have, nt my wnrehoirr in the
city, ten ca&k<t of whule-blubber, a lur{;e car^o of
I>Hni-/ic duwloA, with a curiuus Mjrtnicut uf Bir-
niinubmii baftt, and Whitney •blankets fur export
iniion.

Sir Ceo. Ucy !

TViins. And stay, stay; then, again, at my

r couutry-house, the bottom of UrayVuin-lanc,

there's a hundred ton of fine old hoy, only do-

maf^d n tittle last winter for want of tbatctiing;

i witb forty load uf flinl-9tuiic!i.

Sir Geo. Well.

Trans. Your honour may have alt these for a
rcasonnbic profit, and convert thrtn into cash.

Sir Geo. Blubber and bhuikcts ! Why, you old
rascal, do vnu bKuter ine ?

Trant. Who, I ? O la ! marry, heaven forbid !

Sir Geo. Get out of my ^j-ou aiuitcring

•coundrel !

TVons. If your honour would but heiu- me —

Sir Geo. Troop, 1 wy, unless you have a mind

ito go a shorter wa? than yon came. [Kitt

cTra>&.J — And yet there is something so uncom-
^tnonty ridiculous in his proposal, thatj were my
xoind more at case

Enter Loader.

So, sir, yon have recommended me to a liue fcl-

Lor J. What's the matter?

Sir Oto. He can't supply mc with a shilling!

all htm
. bttst, I

rt pi J

and wants, besides, to make me a dealer va dow*
lass.

LotuL Ay, and n very good cnmmrtdirr, too.—
Petiplc Liml are upon ways and nirun» mu»i not
be nice, knight. A pretty piece uf wurk yoa
hnve made here ! Itirown ip the cards ntili the
ganiL- in your hnru1<i.

Sir GfO. Why, prithee, of what use woold
Ki»-

hni-L Vtc ! of every u%e. Proeure ynu the
spniikcrs, my boy. I have a broker, that, in «
twinklini;, sfmll take off your bargain.

.Sir Geo. Indeed!

Load, htdtx-d ! ay, indi-ed. Vou sit cfown to
hazard, and nut know the chaiKcs ! Til call htm
back. Ilnlto, Trannter ! A pretty, little, busv,

bustline You may travel niiirs before

wid meet wild his mati-li. If then; is one \
in the city, he wiU grct it He creeps, hke i
Ki, into their bags, and makes the ycUo'
bolt again.

Enter Travsfei.

Come hither, little Transfer; what, man, obt
minor was a little too hasty ; he did oot uimJc>
stand trap : know^ nothing of the pinir, niv dear.

Trans. What I said was to serve sir Gooi^,
as be seemed

Loarf. [ tnld him 80. Well, well, we w9l tab
tliy comintKlitit':^, u-tre they us manv more. But
trv, prithee, it* thou couldst nut prucure u» tJW
uf the ready fur present spending.

TVoiu. Let me consider.

toad. Ay, do: come, sbufBe thy brains; nmr
fear the baronet. To let a lord of lands «aitl
shiners ; 'lis a shuine f

Triiiif. I do rectillect, in tliis quarter n/ ik
tnu-n, un old friend that used tu do tliiiigs wdui
way.

Ijtarf. Who?

Trans. Staiule tlie scrivener.

iMtd. Slam me, but be lias nicked the thaooc!

Trait$. A hard man, master Ijoadcr.

Sir Geo. No matter,

TVunf. His demands are exorbitanL

Sir Geo. That is no fault of ours.

Load. Well said, kiii^bt !

Traat. But, to save time, I liad better ncatiti
hi* terms?

Load. Unnecessary.

Trans. Five per cent. Icpal interest.

Sir Geo. He ^hall have it.

Tram. Ten, the premium,

■Sir Geo. No more words

T^nu Tkcot as you arc not of age, fin M"
for insnrinf; vour life.

Jjvid. \Vc will ^ive it.

Traiu. As for wliat lio will deound dx d*
risk

Sir Geo. He shall he satisfied.

TVuHi. You pay the auomey t

rooTe.l

BRITISH DRAMA.

Sir Geo. Amplj, ampler ! Loader, dnpntch
him.

Load. There, there, little Tramfcr; now, eve-
ry thing i» *culfd. All terms sliill bp OKnplicd
with, n--aW)tmtitc or utircaaonalitR. \Vh:it ! our

f>ntidpftj IS a iiinn ot' honour ! [Kiir TitAvst-rii.]
fey, myktiielit, this i* cloitig bubine»9. Itiit pinch
is ft &ure conJ.

Re-enter TBANsrEli.

Trant. I hat] fot^ai one tttiiig. I atn not the
piinapal; you pny tfw braLeni^.

LiMd. Ay, ay ; nnd a haudwmc present iuto
the baqE;Mn, never tear.

7Van«. f jmiii;ht ciiuu£h.

Loiut. lUrk'e, Tnmsfer, well take the Bir-
miiiKhMn hkAa luiil Whitney ware^.

TVwmi. Tlicy ^Imll Im.- forffiroming. You
WfMid not have the hay nnd t'lc llmts?

load. Every peWile of thcin. The inasiitratcs
of tlM baronctV )H>nm(:h Mre iiitirn) nnil crxitr.
lie (bull deiil thetn u» new j>iiveiiiem. [K-r'it
TfcANiFi.ii.] So, timt's ittlled. I belicrr, kui(;hl,
I cnn lend yrni u ht-lpin^ hnnd a> tu (he Inst ar>
tide. Ikn<iwM>inc trndcrs tiiat will truck: fel-
low* with liiiery. Not eoinmodiltc& of such
clumsy convernncc as old TnurtfLyf.

tiir Ceo, \ou »n: vtry oblijiing.

Lnad. I'll do it, tmi-; urid get von into the
bargain a bnnnr noctionccr, thmt sha)l dispa«i> of
ibets all in a craclu \^£rii.

Enter Dick.

Dick, Your uncle, sir, hAs been waiting some
lime

Sir Grtt. Tie comes in a lucky hour, Show

liim in. [Krit Uirn.] Now for a lecture. My

.ucsation vlmit't <uiilt my ftpiriis, however, Iler«

the musty trader, rDimiog orer Milh ro-

nraoccs. I must banter the cic

Emter IUcbard Wkaltiit.

R. WeaL So, fir; what, 1 tuppow this is n
Sfticc of vour forcitEO breeding, lo let your uncle
Juck Itis IiccU in yuur hall, whilst your preseuce-
nbrr IS crowded wiUi pjmj»y bawds, and
rters?
Gro. (Ml, a proof of ray respect, dear
uncic ! Wuuld it have been decent now, uncle,
to have introduced tou into such cntupatiy?

A. WeaL WuutWrfully considerate ! Well,
yooor ntoii, am) w\}/a. do ynu tlnnk will be the
end of all tlii».' Here I hn\c received by the last
mail a quire of your drains from abroad. I M^e
JNM an decemiiued our ncighboors sfaoold taste
of TOUT magnificence.

iir Geo. Yo, 1 think I did some credit to my
oouMrv.'

Jt Wnl. And how arc all theao to be paid?

Sir Geo, That I submit to you, dear ouclc.

R. Weal. From me !— Not a loua to keep you
from the counter.

Sir Geo. Why, then, let the seoundrcU stay.
It is tlicir iluly. I liave other demuuds, debts of
hon'jur, which must be di'tchargcd.

R. Weal. Here's a dinbaljcal disttitrtion !—

Here's n prostitution of wnrrfi ! Honour!

'Sdeath, that a rascal, who Utm picked yinir pocter,
«ha]l have his crime gilded with the ino9t uicred
dii^tinclion, and his plunder ponctunllr paid,
whilst tlic industrious mechanic, who miniittcrs to
your very wants, sltall have his debt dchiyed, and
Ids detnaod treated as insolent !

Sir Geo. Oh ! a tnico to this tfaread-hnr*
truni|KTy, dear uncle !

R. Weal. I confess my folly ; but make yoiii^
self easv ; you won't be trouhled with manr mora
of my viMts. I own I was »c:ik ennujih to Hesi-yi
a short expostulation with vou ; but as we in tho
dty know the true rnluc of time, I shall rake euro
not to squander away any more of it upon you.

Sir Geo. A prudent resololion.

R. WeaL Ooc conioiission, however, 1 can'c
dispense with myself fmiti esceutnig: It whs
ai;rced between your fattier and nic, tliat ns bo
bad hut one son, and I one daughter

Sir Ceo. Your (:cttlni;s should be added to liis
estate, and my cousin Mnr^ry and 1 squnt down
together in the comfortable slate of matninony.

K. Weal. Puppy! Such was our iotcnlioo.
Now, his last wilt cininis this a^ntract.

Sir Geo. Dispnirti, dear imcle •

ft. WeaL Why then, in a word, see me hew"
demand the execution.

Sir Geo. What d'yo moan? For me to marry
Marcerv ?

R. Weal. I do.

Sir Ceo. What, moi — me !

R. WcnI. Yoii, you — Your answer, ay or no?

Sir Geo. Whf ' thru, cf>nci¥elv nod briefly,
without evaf^on, cquivL>calton, or further citcum*
locution — No !

R. Weal. I am glad of it

iSir Orn. So am I.

R. Weal. But prny, if it woold not be loo
i(rcat a favour, what objections ran you Imvc to
tnv daughter? Not tlint I want to remove them,
btil merely out of curiouty. What objections *

Sir Geo. None. 1 neither know her, luiTfl
seen her, inquired after her, or ever ioiend it,

R. Wcai. What, perUaps I am the stumUing
blwk ?

.Sir Geo. You have hit it.

R. Weal. Ay, now wc come to the point.
Well, and pray—

Sir Geo. Why, it ts not to much a disHke ftf
your perbon, t)M)ni>h that is exrcplionable enou):h ;
but your profession, dear ancle, is an iiisupcrabla
obstaele.

A. Weal. • Good lack I And wtutt harm has
that done, pr^' f

S& Geo. Done ! so stained, polluted, and

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FooT«.

tninted thp wliole ninss of your blood, thrown
siic'li a lilot oit vour WulcbeocM, a» ten regular
suLXXiftioiis can hardly tSac«.

H. H *'«/. The deu« !

Sir Geo. Aud cuuld you nnwi consistently witli
vour duty as n fAitblul guardian, rccuiumcnd my
union with the dnu^tilor nf a trader ?

H. HVo^ VVhy, indeed, I a>lt pardon; I nin
armid I did not weigli Uie oialter fu> maturely u
I o light.

Sir Geo. Oh. B horrid, barb&rouB scheme !

H. li'fol. But thru, 1 thought hrr havint; the
honrtur lu pnrtulic of ttie btune llesb juid blood
^'ith \oiirwir mi^ht provr, in ictmr nu>a«ure, a
liiid «f III lltT-r-t-a rill, Ut scour out the dirty spots
cuiilracted by roniiucrcc.

Sir Geo. luipossiblf !

H. II euL Ilcsidcs, here, it has bccti the prac-
tice even or peers.

^i> G<o. Drm'i mention the unnatural inter-
course! Jhrnik H<nv(;n, Mr Kichnrrl Wcnllhy,
my educatimi has brco in miuthcr country, witcrc
1 Im^e been too well iiivruL'ted in the value of
tioltiJity to think of intermixinc it **i(h the off-
sprint: ot'a Bour;;e(ii». Why, whnt apohi^y cuuM
I make to my children for* ^viiig ihcm such a
mother ?

K. Weal. T did not ihink of tliai. Then I
tnii«t despair, I atn nfrnid f

Sr Gci\ I can afford but liulehnpe^. Tliniigh.
upon recollection — U the gn»«tlc prelty ?

/{. W'ral. A parent may be partial. She is
lliou^t ao.

Sir Geo. Ah, la jolie petite hourgeoiie / Poor
^ri I I ftincercly pity licr. And I suppose, to
procure her oinersinn from the mercantile tiiud,
no considcratinn nould br spared ?

R. Weal. Why, tn be sure, fur such an honour
one would Bimin a point.

Sir Geo. Why, then, nut totally to destroy
Jour hupeis I do recollcL-t ao cilift in fHrour of
FIritanuy, ihalnhcn n mnnof di»tinclton eni^nges
in eoniiii«rre, hie nobility i» &uficred lo bleep,

K. Weal. Indeed !

Sir Gta. And, u[H}n his quitting the contaitious
cuimcciidii, he h permitted txi resume bisraoL.

JL Weal. Thai'* forluiiatc

Sir Geo, So, iiaiicte Itichard, if you will icll
out of tlic et'tcks ftltut up your roun tine- hot) sc,
and quit St Marv-axc fur Ur<uvenor-»qiiarL-

R. WeaL Whul llien f

Sir Ceo. Why, when your rank hns had time
la ruiue itAclf, fur 1 ihiiiK your iiobtlity, nuitclc.
has had a pretty lung nap'~ir the icirl's person is
p)e:i<>iiic, iiikI tlw purdiBic-moucy is adequate to
t'i<' hofiimr, I may in lime \>c prevailed upon to
restort her to the right* of her family.

R. Wral. Amazing conde^cenninn .'

Sir Gti). (>0(xl-nature is my fuible. But, upon
my ftoul, I would not have gooe to far for any
¥odv else.

Jt. Weai. I can conltua no longer ! llcar me,

•ipendihrift, prodigal I do yoii knnw, tiaX in ten
d:iys your whule revenue won't purduue yoii ft
leather to adorn your eropcv baid?

.S*i Gto. UcydaT ! whal\ ibe matter now?

tL Weal. And thai yim d«n«e every acre of
your bonsted patrimony from your great-uncle, a
M>ap-boiler !

.Sir Gn>. Infamous asperftion !

R. Watt. It WHS hit b>ni£S, the fruits of hts h»>
ne<it industry, that preser^'ed your loinr, Lc^iienrlj
nubility. Ilis wrnlth repaired your louerinc
liull, Irutti lliu ruins of wuicli cvco the nXa had
run.

Sir Geo, Better our name had perished ! liK-
supponnble. iMXtp-bniling, uiirle !

if. Weni 'I'mducc a trader in the cotmln of
commerce ! It Is treason ai^»inM the CDnuaamly;
Hnd, fur your ponislnucni, I would bare you re-
stored lo the sordid condition I'rum whence wt
drew you, nnd, like your predecessors the PiM*
■vtript, painted, and fed upon hips* haws, and
bUickherric*.

Sir Gee. A trace, dear habenloslicr !

R. WeaL One pleasure ! hare, that to ihit
f;oiil you are ufxm the lEnllop; liut have a ctict
the sword hangs hut bv n thread. When wst
wc meet, know mc tor the master of your fate.

[LxU.

Sir Geo. Insolent mechanic ! But that bti
Bour^coib blood would have suilcct my swurd—

Enter Barom and Loadkk,

.Sir Wil. What is de mnUtr?

Sir Geo. A fellow here, upon the credit cfi
little afiinity, has dared to upbraid idc with bcu|
spruT^! from n sonji-boiler.

Sir Wil. Vnt, y u from the boiler of WMp?

Sir Gen. Sic !

Sir Wit Ahn.tteKar, dat is anorler tin;— .ind
harka you, .Mister ^ton»ieur, ha — buwdare «^
have diiffrDiitary —

Sir Geo. How?

5t> Wit. Oe impcrtineiK-e to ut ik>wo^ pt?
wid inr ?

Str Geo. What is this?

Sir Wil A beugnrly Boui^eoi* Ttt-**^ >
riaroii of twenty dcsrceitl's [

LitaJ. Bm, Karon —

Sir Wil. Uyznr, 1 nin nlinnst nhhamcd tn via
of 9ucl) a low, dirty — Give me my racMuei, w^
let H mi; nwer sec your fate.

lAmd. Why, but, Ilaroii, you ratstakt tU
thine ; I know the old buck Uw teiitm fntt*
ubiHit.

AV WU. Mny be

Load. Piseon me, as true n |£enU«QMfl m ik
Grand Si^inor. He wns indeed, b Kood-nanirfd,
obli^mc:, frieitdly fellow ; aim heiii|; a imt
.jiidce of soup, tor, anri train-oil, he u^d loliv<
it home to hiit Ikiumt, and ^rll it to his aojniBl'
anees for ready tnoiwy, tu serve tbcm.

Sir Wil. WasdutaU?

Load. Upon my lionoar,!
Sir IVii. Oh Hnt, dttt is anoder tiog. Sjfftr, I
«ns afraid he wns nrn;utianL
1,M^. Notfaiog tike ic.

Enter Dic».

Dick. A grntleraan to enquire for Mr Loader.

[Krit.

fjiad. I come— A pretty wn-of-a-bircfi iliis
Banin ! pimps for ihe mnn, \>ickti his p>>cket,
and then WHiits tu kick lum out ufoinpuuv, U>
oniie hi« unric was nn oilinnn ! [£''''■

Sir Bi/. I beg pardon, Chevalier, 1 w*;. mis-
take.

Sir Ore, Oh, don't mention i[ ; hul tlie Aam
liecD fact, jour behavioor was natural enough.

■ £affr Loader.

IjoofL Mr Smirk, tlie niiciionccr.
Sir Geo. Show him in by all meant.

[Exit LoABia.
Sir Wit. Vnu hare affair.
Sir Geo. If vuu'll walk into tlu! next room,
tticj will be finished in five minutes.

[Kill Sin WtLLiAy.

Enttr Loader, vi/A Shift nt Smirk.

Load, Here's nta.uer Smirk ; this is the gentle-
man. Ilark'c, kiiicht, did t not tell you old
Moll wa» your mark P Here ehe has hroufiht
yoo a pretty pict-e of man's me.it already ; as
sweet as n nuscRay, anil w> ripe a» a cherry, you
rogue ! Dispatch hiro, mean time well manage
tbecirl. [£>ir-|

Smirk. V'ou are the principal.
Str Geo, Kveu so. I have, Mr Smirk, anmc
things of a considerable value, which 1 want to
dbpoce of immediately.
Smirk, You have ?
■Sir Gto, Could you auist mef
Smirk. Doubile^s.
Sir Geo. But directly?

Smtrk. Wc have an aitctiiiii at twelve. I'll
■ild your carKQ to tlie cntalt>toie.
Sir Gfo. ('an that be dmiti ?
Smrrk. Kverv day's practice : it i9 Tor the ere-
^ of the sale. La»t week, amooust the vnhiabtc
m0t I f I of a eentJeman goiiiK abroad, 1 uild a
ciiaioe cuUecticMi ut' chma, with a euriuus service
cf plate ; though the real party wai iir vcr mas-
ter of above two Delf dishes and a down of
ptmtrr in all hw life.

Sr Geo. Very artilicial ! But this must be
•iMoealed.

Smiah Durietl here. Oti, many an ai^rrtte

«ad •oliuiire have ( sold, to diM'hiurite a lady's

pHay debt. But tlien wc mu>t know the parties,

mfeierwise it miitht lir knocbrd dmvn lo thcbu»-

UwmJ himself.— fU, ha !— Ilcj ho !

Sir Gfo. Tni?. Upon my word, jour profe»<
sion requires pans.

Smirk. \i)b>xly's more. Did you ever bear,
sir George, what fan brought me inio the buai-
amaf
Sir Geo. Mever.

Smirk. Qoite an accident, as t may sar- Ton
niobt have known my predecessor, Mr I^rig, the
grcnlckt man in the world in his wnv, aye, or
ihat ever was, Ar etcr will l)0 ; quite a jewel of
a man ; he would touch you up a lot ; theru
was no rtisistm^ him. Me would force vou to
hid w bctlicr yuu would or no. 1 slull never sec
hi» equal.
■Sir Qto. You are modest, Mr Smirk.
StMtrk. No, no, hut his iiluidow. Far be it
fmm me rn vie with tliat ftrcnt man. But, as
I was sa>iiis, my predeceswr, Mr Prtjt, was to
have a saitr, a> it might be on u Saturriav.
<)u Friday, ni nnon f I shall neTcr forjgct ilio day,)
he was suddenly fteired with a vKilent colic.
He seal for me to his bed-side. squcexed ma
bv the hand, dear Smirk, said he, what an ac-
cident ! You know what is ti>-monrow ; the
ercatest show this seas>in ; prints, picturfli|
bronzes, butterflies, medals, attd roinionetiets
all tlie world will he there ; Lady Dt Joss,
iMrs Naiikvn, tlie Uitchcss of Dupe, ami every
body at aft : you see my ^tnte. it will be im-
|tossible for inc to mount. What can I do ? It
was nut for me, you kuow, to advise that great
man.

Sir Gro, No, no.

Smirk. Ac last, lookliq; wishfully at me.
Smirk, sayt he, d'you love me? — Mr Prig, csn

vou doubt It } I'll put it (o the leit, says

he ; supply my pinre t«-morrow. — I, eager to
show mylove, rashly and rapidly replied,- I
will.

Sir Gfo. Thnt was bold !
Smirk. Absolute ma<lnes« ! But I had gone
too far to recede. Then the point was, to pre-
pare for the awful occasion. The lint want
that occurred tu roc was a wig, but tliis was
too mall-rial an article to depend on mv own
judt:<nent. I resolved to consult my friends.
1 told tliein the afBiir— You hear, gentlemen,
whui lins happened. Mr Priff, one of the
greatest men m his way the world ever saw, or
ever will, quite a jewel of a man, taken with
a violent lit of tlie colic ; ii}-morrow, the
greatest show this Maw>n ; prints, pictures,
bronzes hiitterflies, nuHlats and minioiiottes ;
overv IkkIv in the world to be ihrre ; XmAj
I)y joss ^l" \ahkyii. Duchess of Dupe, and
»ll mankind : it britig impossible he sliould
mount, 1 liavc consented to (w!l — They sluvd
— it is true, grntlciuen. Now I sIm»uI(1 be glad
to have yoiu* opinions as to a wig, Tliey weie
diviili-d : some recommemled a tye, others a
bag; one mentioiKd a bob, but wii» sutm over-
ruled. Now, for injr por^ I own 1 rather iiir

376

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Foot!

dined to tbe bag ; but to avoid tlie imputacion

of nishne-s.% I rev>lved tri ukn Aim Smirk's

I judijincot; my wife, a dear (Eood wointm, fine in

I BfLUK, liigb in tnslc, a supcnor gcuiu», and Lno»»

old ctiiim like n Nabob.

Sii GciK What was Jier df^clMon ?

Smirk. I told her the case. — My dear, yon

1 Viiow v^liat has happened. My f^uw friend Mr

[ Vn^t the ^rcalC4l nuin in tlic worlds in hi9 nay,

\ tliat ever was or ever will be, quite a jewel nf a

I man, a vtalcnl fit of the culic- -tltc t^reatest

bIiov« this i»cason to-tnurrow, picture^ and every

tltini; in (be wftrU) ; all the world nill be tlirrc :

DOW, a« it is i^)po&^ible be should, I mount in

his f^tend. You know tlie ibe iinponam-e of a

wig ; I have ablct-d my frieuda yumt: rccom-

nicuded a t\e, others a bag — what is ^-our opiai-

on } Wliy, to deal freely, Mr Sntirk, wiys •■be, a

<yc for your roood, regular, smiling face, woidd

be mtltcr l»o formal, aiid a bng ratber too

' l>'>yisl), deficient ill di^itiiy for tbo solemn occar

eion ; nrTc I wnritty to it'dvi^c-, you fJwuld wear

D sumctbins liclKcen both. — I'll be hani;f.-d ifyuu

duii't mcuu a luujor ! 1 jumpt ut the liiut, and a

ntaior it was.

Sir Oto. So, tliat was fixt }

Srirk^ Finally. But nest day, when I ramc

10 mount the rostrum, then was the ttial. My

limbs duok, aivd my Lnneue (rembted. The first

lot was adiamber-utciiMl, in Cbclsrn china, of

tha pca-grcen pattero. It occasiuued a Ktcat

laiii^h; but I sftt ihroush ii. llcrOrare, indeed,

gave me ^rent Ftimura|;eiiic-nt. I overhciird her

M'liispfrr to lady l)y, upon my word Mr ^rou-k

Ate* it very «oll. Very M-ell, indeed, Mr Jjmirk,

addre^^iiij; lierscif to me. i mndc an ack)ioutc<li£-

iug bow to ber gtw;c, a» io dutjr bouud. But

one flower flounced inrobmtarily fn>tn me tbat
(lay, as I may uy. I rciniiidKr Dr Tnflr called
it cntliusiaslic, aiid prooouuccd it a presage of
my future grPBtnesi.
'.Sir GfM. What was that?

Sfstirk. \Mty, sir, ilic lot was a Gtddo ; ■ lin^e
fijnirc, a mancllous fine pcrfnrraaocr, wcU
scnod, and highly finiahcd. It «tuck at fiwe

forlv; I, channe<l with the picture, and pi ,

at tfie people, A-f^oiiif for fivc-aud-furty, Dobody
more LJiun five-and-forty— ^Pniy, laKliea and
gcnllemen, look at this piecr, quite ikah and
blood, and only want^ a luucli fruin tlm lorcb ti
f'rometheus to start from the canxiu aod fall i
bidiltrii;. A i;Fneral plaudit rnsut'd ; I bowed,
and in three luiiiutca knocked it down at iiit^
three, ten.

air Gfty. Ttmt was a stroke at least c^ual ta
your mnsler.

Smirk. {) denr inc ! ynu did not Ituow ihe
great mao, alike in eicry iJiing. lie had u
much to say upon a rilbon nb a Raphael.
mamitT, loo, was ininiiluhly line. I i
they took him otT ut llie ptay-lmoxc, i

r; pleasant, but wron;:. rublio
uld not l« sported witli— ihcy are
Uut we l<jse time,

Sir Geo. Oh, in the lobby, oa the table, fM
will find the pnnirular«.

Smiri. We ^lall sec ymi. Tlirre will Iti
world of company. I shall nleaieyou. ButAe
t;Tcat nicety of our art is, tlie eye. Mark 1m«
mine skims round the rijim. Some btddfrs an
shy, and oidy advance with u notl ; but 1 mtl
them. Our, two, thrre, four, five. Voa aill
be suqiriscd ■lia, lia, ha ! lieigb bo !

lEtml-

ACT m.

SCENE T.
Enter Sin George and Loader.

Sir Geo. A most infernal run ! Ltt's see. —
\PtifU cut a card.] L«nder a ihoiisnnd, the ba-
ron [WO, Tally FjK>ugh 'to becpar a ban-
ker. Every shilling of Transfer** supply exhnu»-
twl ! nor will t-xin the sale of my moveables
priive suflieK-nt tn di«-httrge my dcbtii. Death
and the devil ! In what a coiuplicatiun uf calami-,
tics has a few days plunged mc ! Aud uu re-
source I

tiwd, Kniffht, here's old Mnll come to wait
on you ; slic lius bmiittht tlie tid-bit 1 Spoke of.
fihail 1 bid hrr 6end her in F ,

lip Oeo. I'ray do. [Exit Loaded.

Eutfr Mas Coic and Leer.

-Jtfri CoU. Come iiloniu Lucy. Vou bafbrul
I ^SW'o*'* ^ ih'>oshi I had »dcnccd your scniplcft.

Don't yoD remember what Mr ^quintimi ntd!
A woman' <i not wonh saving, iliat wpn't lie pal-
ty of a swineint^sin; for, then, they have ualttr
to repent o}k»u. Here, your bunuur, I Iwekft
to your manai^emcoL She m youiif:, tender, vl
timid ! d[ics not know what i» fur bar m*
Eood: but jour honour will i*oon teach hff. I
%%ould willingly stay, but I muist not lose thrbc*
turc. [fiif-

Sir Grp. Upon my crrdir, a flue fit^ure I Aik*
ward — Can't jirodurr her piihlitly a» minr— bwt
^hc will do for private aimi%vment — Will m
be seated, misi ? Dimdi! qmh' a picture ! ^»
tiM>, want« a ttiuth of the Wmnethcau lorfli— ^
Will you be so kind, inadum. to walk from fOV
frame and laLo a chair ? Come, prithee, wfcy •*
eo^ f Nay, I am not very adrott in the cMTimrf
thts couniry. I &u|>pO80 I must couductyoif
Come, miM.

/.«rv. O, isir !

Sir Geo. Child !

JOTKA

BRITISH DRAMA.

I

iMcjf. If TOu Iravc Biny hutnmiity, spare rac.

Sir Gctf. In Urars ! What ran this mean ? Ar-
tificc. A prujiHrt to niw tiw price, I suppose. —
Look'e, mj dc&r, you mnv fMc ihU piece frir
■nocber oocasion. It nuo't do with mc ; I am
DO norioe^-So, child, a truce to yuur tragedy, 1

iMty.

bed mc his

_i. Indeed, you wroag me, sir ; indeed, you
do.

Sir Cfo. Wrone TOU ! bow aune yoa here,
Mid fur witat purpmtr f

/iJn;*. a Muunetul one. I know it aU; and
yet bwfve me, mf, I am innocent.

Sir Ceo. Oil, 1 (lun't qu»Uon thst. Yvur pi-
OU& fiatronets is a proor u( your innocence.

iMcy. What can I lay to gain your credit f —
And T«c, Mr, strong ai'BppeBrancM are af£UR<tl
ine> bj all ibnt's holy, you see me here, a poor,
diftrrst, involuntary victim !

Sir Gto. Her sale's nbore ihe onmtnon class;
ber tears are real tlise, child ! How the poor
creature trembles I

Lt»at. Say, tJ>en, I am safe.

Str Cf^- Vcar nolhine.

Luci). MtiT lleni'cii reward v<^u ! I cannot.

Sir Ceo. Pritliec, child, collect yourself, and
Itrlp in« ui iinrarct thts mvBtery. Vou come hi-
ther niltincly — there was no furcef

Luejf. None.

Sir Gee. You Vnow Mrs Cole ?

Jjuy. TtK) well.

Sir Gfo. How came you, t}»cn, to inist btr f

J-MCff. Mine, air, is a teilioits, melatichuty talc.

Str Geo. And artless, tuu i

iMry. As iDlioccnce.

Sir Gto. Give it me.

iMcy. It will lire TOU.

Sir Ore Not, it* it be true. Be just, and you
will bnd uie t^eneruus.

Lucy, On that, sir, I relied, in Tencnring hi-
thrr

Sir Ceo. You did mc justice. Trust nit wit)i
»U your story. If you deserve, depend upon my
pnnectiotl.

Jjurj/. Some moatlts ago, sir, I wax considered
u the joint heiress of a rc-ipectable \«'C3llhy
mcrrltaot ; dear to my friends, nappy in uiy pro-
spects, and my father^ favourite.

.Sir Geo. liis mime f

JjKy. Tticrc you uiast pardon mc. tJnkiiid
■■1 cmrl though lie !»» ))cen to me. tot me di^
dMr^ the duty of a dnnphttr; 'miiTit iu ftilc-ncc,
DOT bring reproach on him. who gave me be-
ing.

Sir Grtx. I applaud your piety.

Ltry. At lliia happy period, rov father, jude-
ia^ an addition of wcriltli must bring in increoiic
of happiness, resolved to unite me with a man,
tardid in lus mind, bnitn] in his inuimcrs, utid
ridies liis only rccnmruindutiiun My rtfii-
••I of ibi* tU-«ftiled match, lhnu(z;lt mildly piven,
inftiaed my fiulicr's temper, midmlly chutcnc.

alienated his afTections, an
house, di^trest tuid destitute.

Sir Geo. Woidd no fricud receive you ?

Luiy. Alas, how few are friends to the aafor*
tunnte \ llcsides, I kne«', sir, such a step would
he considered by ray fotlier os on appeal from
his justice. I, tlierefore, retired to a remote
corner (if the town, trusting, as my only advo-
cate, to the tender calls of nature, m bis cool re-
flecting hours.

i>ir Geo. How came you to know this wo-
man }

Liny. Accident placed me tn a house, the
ini<>tri-»s of which prufcs&cd the same principles
with niy infouDMift conductress. There, ns enthu-
siasm IS the child of melancholy, I caught the ii^
fection. A constant attendance on their a<vseni-
blics pnicnred me U>e aoquaintanee of this wo-
man, wlH>se extraordinary zeal and devotion first
drew my attention and confidence. I trusted
her uith mv story, and, in return, received the
warme&t invitation to take tlie protection of her
houae. This I unfortunat«^ly ocrepted.

.Sir Geo. I'nfortutMUcly, indeed !

Xut'v. Bv ttif decency of appearances, I was
some umc imposed :ipon ; but au accident, which
you will excuse my ripeating, revealed nil tho
horror of my situation. I will not troiihlc you with
a recital of all the arts used to seduce me : hap-
pily ihey hitherto have failed. But this morning
I was iic(|uniitt«d witli my destiny ; oi^d do oilier
election left mc, but immediate compliance, or a
jail. In this de<tperate cornlition, you cannot
wonder, sir, at my cbooiiii^ rather to rely on tho
generosity of u gentleman, than the hmnani-
ly of a creature in>enathlc to pity, and void of
every virtue^!

Sir Geo The event shall justify your dwicc
You have my faitli nud huiiuur for your security.
For, thouG;h I cao't boast of my own goodness,
yet I have an honest feeling for aillicted virtue;
iind. however uul'a&hionable, a spirit that darc«
ntTord it protection. Give me your hand. As
soon as I have dispatched some pressing busi-
ness here, I will lod'^e ynu in on asylum, sacred
to the distresses of your sex, whfre indieeiiC
beauty is guanled from temptations, and dclmleil
innocetice rescued from infnmy. [Exeunt,

SCENE 11.
KnUr SnJFT.
Shift. Zonks, I have toiled like n horw; f\iiitB
tirei^ by Jupiter ! And what shall I pet for my
pains? 'l1ic old fellow here inlLs of inakin« ma
easy for life. Ea«y ! and what docs he mean by
easy? He'll iniikc mc »n cxcisemnn, I wipposc ?
and so, with on inkhom nt my bntton-hule, and
a tfliiTT switrh in mv hand, I shall run about
piiirin^; of t»err htirrels. No, that will never do.
I>l.^ lull, hcrr, is no fool. Foppt^h, indeed. He
docs not wiint jiarts nn, nor principles neiUicr. I
m'crl)(.urd his treiic wilii the girl ; I tliink 1 may

tpwi liim. I hare a E«»f raind to Tenture it —
It is n altatne to hwv ixuii d<ipeil by ihh ntd d»n-
It must not ttp. ru in, Hiid uiitotd — Ha! K^ad,
I have a tlinutiht loo, which, if mv heir apparent
can Ckccutc, 1 shnll stilt lie ronceated^ aod per-
baps be rcwnrded on btith «des.

I hire it ; 'tis enijendcrcd, piping dot.
Aod iKiw, &Lr Koigtit, 1*11 match yoa with s
plot. [Esit.

^terSit VViLLUif antf Richard Wealthy.

i?. M'rai Well, I suppose, bv thi* time, yrrn
arc MilistieU wliat a tcouiidrel yon have bmiicbt
into tbe wurld, and arv rcttdy to finish yutir luol-
ery?

Sir WH. Got tu the catastraplie, got»d bro-
ther.

R. H'fwK Let oa have it over, then.

Sir Wit. I have alreadv nlarmi'd nil hi» trades-
men. I Mippcwr we ahull wjon have him here,
with a l**i:ii)u of bailiffii mid coU!»tabl(;s. Oh,
have von inv i«i)l about you ?

R.'Wf0l. Yc*,y€*

Sir Wt/. It u alinost time in prodnce it, or
read hiro l)if cbidse that reluti-s to hn rrjectiiic
your daughter. Ibat wiU do his bu^ineso. Out
the; come. I muktrolum loiDy ctiarsctcr.

Enta- Sh I rr.

Skifi. Sir, nir. we are nil in thr wrong bnt —
Olir«c)WfDe i« blo^tn up: your son hits detected
Loader niid Tally, atid is playing the very devil
wilhin

Sir Wil. Oh. the bun^len !

Skijh Now for it, youngster.

fn/er Sir Gfioncr, driving in Loader and
another.

Sir Geo. Rnxnls ! robbers ! timt, like the In-
ca«, murk the road you have Uikeii by the ruin
and di^s«tln(iou you leave behind yuu !

IjOiid. "^ir CJeorce !

Sir (}ro. And cun vouth, however cautiouf, be
•oarded apiiiiht such d(-r|vlftid, cotii|>licated *il-
uiiny? Where arc the rwt ol' ymir dinlwlical
errw? yniir iiurtionecr, nsitrer, and- — 1>, sir,
are vi><i Uen f 1 am glad jou haTe not ocaped
■a, however.

Sir Mi/. Whnl de devil is de matler?

Sir Cfo. Your hirth, which I iK'lievr an impo-
siti'in, preserves vou, however, from the di^'i|>-
biie tho*e roeite<t have received. A luiroii ! n
Bubirnian ! n -iharpcr f O, shame ! It is eiioueh
to bniii!>h iill cuiilidrnci: frixn ibc Miirld. On
wh«>iw faith can we rclv. when lliosr, wlii»e jiti-
mmr IS held lu Mirrrd ns nn oadi, unniindful of
ihrtr dis:iiiiy, dcMreitd to riiul pick-iMirkt-is in
tUeir infamous orts. VMiat arc tiicsc? [I'ulU

out dice] Pretty implements ! The fniits of
vDUr leisure hoiir^ I tliey arv dc&lcniutily l^lnr,
Vuo have a fine inechaiiiail turn. Dick, KCura
the door.

Mrs Colb, tpcakiag mm entering.

Mrt Cole. Here I am at last. Well, and how
is your honour, and the little )(»ntlewiNnan?-^
13te» me ! what i& the mutter here ^

Sir Gro. I aio, madam, trcotinp ynmr frieitds
with a cold cullulion, and yon arc opporturely
come for your slrare. The little seiillcwoman u
»afe, and in much belter haodft than you den^rti-
wl her. .\bnminable hypocnta ! win*, luttmag
under the load of irreverent a^ aiid infamoni
d)»eiises, inflexiblv proceed in the practice at
<nury vira, iinpinn^ly priiMitulins il>e nin»t n*
cred inot)ttitioii9 to the- niii»i nifernal purpnwt.

Atrt Cole. I hope your honour

Sir Geo. Take ner away ! As yon have hern
ijini^riUr in your petiiienre, you mi^hi to be di^
tingui>hed in your penance; which, I promise
villi, shall be most publicly and plenrifullr (»•
stowed. ' [£xi/MR&CaLL

Barer Dick.
Dith. The constables, sir.

Enter ConsJnhtes.

Sir Ceo. Ijet tliero come in, that I may coo-
M^n Ihe^e gentlemen to their care. [To Hi a Wn-
i.i*«.] Your lettpri of nnliility you will prodixr
in a court of justice. Though, if I read ww
nchi, vou are one of those indiptmt, ittoenat
noUle* of your own creation, which our rrpuis-
[ion for boft^imlitv draws hither in thoals to tac
shame of our understanding, the imp«irin|; of Mt
fortunes, and, when you arc trusted, the betn^
\nt of our de»ia;ii!i. OlHcrr>. Ho your daty.

Sir IVit. \\ hv, don't you know me ?

Sir Geo. Just as I f^uesaed. An irspnatar.—
lie has recovered the free use of bis tOB|aeal-
reiidv.

Sir HV. Nay, but Gcorn

.*M> Geo. Insolent familiarity ! away vuh
him !

Sir Wil. Hnjd, )u>ld a moment! Brother Rk^
on!, «■! this nmlirr to riaht*.

R- Weal. Uuti't you know bim?

Sir Cm. Know bim ! ibe vet^ qoaitioa * ■
affrcuiL

R. Weai. Nay, I don't wonder at IL Ta
your father, yfjii fool !

Sir Geo. My father P Impossible!

^> Wit. 'Hiai may be^ hut 'tit trve.

Sir Geo. My fatlier alive ! Thus let me ptci
I lie ble^yne.

Sir Wit. Alive ! Ay, and I beliere 1 slan'tl*
in n hurry to die aeain.

Sir Geo. Rut, dear sir, the report ot JM
dcuth^^oiul tills disguiM^— lo wbal-^^

FOOTB.]

I
I

Sir WiL Don't tak any questiuas. Vour un-
rlf! will tell jruu nil. Kiir my partr 1 am »ick ol'
the tdtcine.

H, Wttit. I told ^ou wbat would beouina of
jonr potitics,

Sir WU Vou dill •!> ; but if il luul nat hccn for
tbcrt<; cluuisy Koundrcls, the plot wu» a-s -^oikJ h
plot — O, Ci:nrge ! such discovfrics I huvc ut
miike. Williia, 111 unrard the wbole.

Str Geo. rcrhapa, sir, 1 may match them.

Siu/i. ^r !

[Pulli him &v flfft^.

Sir Geo. Nercr fear. It is luiuosMbli-. Ken-
llemrn. to determine your fate, ull this lunttt r
It more fully cxptaitied ; till when, keep hiiu safe
ta cBstodV' !)<> yt)u kn>m thcin, sir?

S^ WiL Ye«, but ihat'a mure than they did
lec. I cun enncei ynur debt!) there, ami, I bc-
IiFve, prevail on ihnw upiiileinun t'l rf.fnnd, ton

But Tou have bccu ft Md prafli^utc youu)*

<lof(. George. *

iiir Geo. 1 ean*t bonst of my gcx>dne«s, «r, but
I think I c<>iild produce ynu a proof liiat 1 am
imt mf tntulty dcvUtutc of

Sir Wit, Aw '. »by. then, prithee do.

Sr G<o. 1 have, sir, tlna duy, resisted a tempt-
ation, that itreater preteodert to innnilitY mi^ht
haw yielded to. But I will ini« mvvelf nn
.im^pr, and must crav« your iuterpositiun and
tpttectioo.

Br Wif. To what?

S*r Gro. I Mill attend you with the explaiia-
t30tt in ail inataitt.

[Eeii Sir Geo.

Sir Wit. Prithee, Shif^ what does be meaa i

Skijy. I believe I ran E**^)>-

&r WiL Ijtl us have it.

Sijfi. I suppose the ufliiir T overheard, iust
■mr; a pmrh|i;t(ju» htie, eJeyant pirl. fiiitli, I tint,
discarded by her faniity, fnr refusini* lo marry
her i^raiidfaUKr. fell into the hands of the trene-
nible lady you w* ; who, bcinit the Wind r.ifereT
fur ynir k<m'> amuseineutt, br<^U)tht her hillier fur
a porpoae obvious ciinu^b. But the yfinng gen-
dniMil, t^inrhcd with her i^tory, truth, and tears,
was ronrrned from the spoiler of her lionour, to
the pnrtector uf her inuf^teence.

Sir H'li l>Mk'c iltcre, brother, did n*»t I tell
you that George wiis not so bad a( the b<>il<im f

H. NW. This docs iwleed atone for half the
^^But tbey ore here.

Enter Sib Geokoc and Lvcr.

■ C*o. Fear nuthini;, inadain, you may safc-
lly ua
'"tmcM- My father !
A. iFMi Ucy E

<■¥, O, sir, can vou Tirfive your poor dlv

unhnppv ^irl ' Vuu wurce caa guess li<>*

Sv Ttc been used »utce mv bauisliment from

your parental mnf. Want, pining want, ang^iisb,
oiiri ^liiimt', have breu mv constant jiarQiers.

Sir Wil. Bnnlier!

Sir Geo, .Sir!

Lucv. Father •

it. WeoL Kiie. child ; *tis I must ask tlite for-
t*iveiie»*, <'anBt thou forKct the wtx-s Fte iDitdc
ihec suffer? Come xa mv anits oiic^' innrc, thou
darling of ray atcc \ What niii>rhitir tind my rash-
ness nearly cninpleted \ Nephew, I scarce can
I hank vou as I oii^lit, but

Si> Geo. I atii riLJily paid, iu bcinc the happy
i.n,»irunient — Yet. mifiht 1 ur^' a wi!>h— -

R. WeuL Natne it.

Sir Gto. lliac vou would fontlrc mv follies of
to-dav: and. a.« \ have been provideutinlly tlic
iK'esstotial guHrdiKn '>f your dnnchtcr*'* h-'n-mr,
timt vrn\ would be^tlow on me that ri^ht for life.

K. nVa/. Thnl must dei>end on Lucy; her

will, ncii mine, »ha!l now direct bcr choice

What says your father ?

Sir ll'iX Me ! 1 ih, ni show you in an instaoL
f-M»fc me your h.ind». There, children ; nniv mhi
arejiiifKrI: and llic devil take him thainislies
to part yuu !

Sir Geo. I thank yon for us botJt.

R. Wful. Happiness attend you !

Sir Wtt. Now, brother, I Ivtpe vno will allow
me to t>e a |((kxI plotter. All tliis was brouf;hE
to bear by uiv means.

Shif't. With iDy auistajoce, I hope, you'll own,
sir?

Sir IVil, That's true, honest Shift, and thou
shall be riclUy rewarded; uav, George ^lull l>e
vour friend, tuo. Thjs Shift is an nigcnious fclr
low, let me tell you, «m.

Sir Geo. I am no stranger to his abiiilies, lir.
But. if you please, wc will retire. The varirina
slniEiElen of this fair sufTcPer re<|uire the xwthiiig
jtolcness of a sister's Jove. And oow, bir, 1 h<if»e
vour fears for ine are over; for, hiul I not iliix
motive to rpfitrain my follies, yet I dou know the
town too well to be ever its bubble, and will take
core to preserve, nC least,

Sitino more estate, and principles, and wit.
Than brokers, buivds, and gamesters sliaU
thiuk lit.

Sbift, midreuing Maarlf to Sib Gcobos*

And what becomes of your poor servant, Shift f
Your father ulks of lendiiii; me a lift- —
A iireat man's pr>mi<te, when his turn is served;
Capons (ID promises, would soon be ainn'ed :
No; on myself alone 1*11 now fly:

'l^ad, I've a thriving: iraffic in my eye

Near the mud inaiisiiin»of Moorftclds HI biiwl;";
Friends, fathers moiliera, sisters sous and all.
Shut up your ?^hoIJ^. aud hstcn to my cull.
Wiui labour, toil, all second tncaris dispense.

ca>

BRITISU IIRAM:^

Aad live a mtt-cbvee wfna Provwience.
Prick cf '«ov can ; » «o»t vw HI ccM, 1

WhtA once a nk/v and her cMld bd«J ; S

I kA«-« the (DACter ad bcr daogfitcr «ciL J
poor, it » «T>e, ther wrre ; bat oever «aaced.
For wftKwe'er d^r vfccd, «>■ a}»an erantcd :
Oae fatal ^ th^ matroa^% trocfa wm trwd.
£be waoied neat awl drnk. aad fmij crioL
[C'WIJ Mother, TOQ cry ! [ll**Aj Ob, diU, ^

fre C^ K> farcH) : |

rCAi/dLI What nnctCTt tlttC ? WW, PnniifeMe:

ao'tifeail! >

With rCMOO eond, this trmb the duld nigbt aar.
For there eame m at ooon, dot very 4bt,
Bread, crcem, potacoe*, awl a teg of woUoo,
A bcacr, Mm, a table m'ct was pot ud ;

[Foots.
9o«b:

At. laae Ki^ be, ae err, widb I

BoK «e aeVr bad a'tvdier £ir ifac i

Aad d'le deserve k : Ham tjx ipesd tov d^sF

la paHQwesTprw&eafi^, aad pCavs ! ~

Lee * CO icc Fooie ! aaC Fooce's a |KctioM Bwb !

0(d Vick win aoaa a faiM hal —fce of hiia !

For forcianat cow ai lali hiM i ym sfaore ;

Tiaak vm to aeet with ade-hoacs akm^

Where DCfflt^ P'By aad pi^racred ni|v i

"^

Xo^ ao ! Toa viH be oaMed isto tiie pi^ |
Aad CToW tfae boaae for Satan's bcacfic J

Ob! «hM,7oa sairel: weQ, do 9o do Bore;
Drop, to atoae, v^iar woaer at tike door,
Aad, if I please,' n gire ft^o dtt poor.

Enter Mms Harlow and Mi» Harlow.

Mn Bar. My dear sCKtr, let mc tell you —

Jfiu llor. But, my ilcar aUter, let nte Icll ;rou
It it in vMJn ; 70U am sujr uothtog thftC will buve
aajtOect.

Un Har. Nol, if you wan*l bear mc ; oaly
hmr nic

Miim liar. Oh ! aindntn, T knnw you Iotp to
iMftr yountrif Ullt. aod so please yuurtclf— but 1
an r*«ol»*d—

Mra Har. Your resolution owjr alter.

A/iM Har. Never.

Atrt liar. Ijpun a licUe CfHuidetaUon.

JfiM Hot. irpnn no considenition.

JUri Hur. You don't kiiuw bow tliat may He ;
neoUcct* sMer, that yuu arc no chicLcii — you
MX now of tbc age tbat becomes i^idduicss
IbMy. ^

m.

Miis liar. My year*, sister ! Upon my word —

Mr I Hnr. Nay, no offence, sister

Mus liar. Out ibere is oJcncc, mndacD : 1
don't uuderstand what yuu lueait by it — a1wav»
ibwarting me with my years — iiiy jmra, indecil !
when, pcHintM, madaui, if 1 was lu die of old
t^c, some tblk& migbt have reoMU to look about
them.

,\fn Har. Sbc feels it, I see. Oh ! I detiglit
in mortitying her. [.ilsirfr.] Sister, if I did not
loi-e you, 1 am sure I should not talk to you in
this manner. But 1k>w can you make 90 unkind
a return now, as to alarm me about mynelf f In
tome sixteen or ci^htccD years after you, to be
sure, I own I ahalt bef:iii to think of malbiig my
will. lUfw could you be 90 wvere f

Mist liar. Some sixteen or eii^teen Tean.
nHtdam I If you would own tbe truUi, laa^am —

4N

QB^

BRITISH DRAMA.

[KtDBFBr*

I believe, madam— you would find, madam, that
the disparity, madam, is out so very great, ma-
dam

Mrs Har. Well, I vow passion becomes vou
inordinately ! It bleiids a few roses witb the
lilies of your cheek, and

MUs Har. And though you are married to my
brutber,uiadam,I would haveyou toknow.madam,
that you are aot thereby any way authonsed, msf
dam, to take unbecoming; liberties with your sister.
I am indcpeDdeni: of my brother, oiodam ; my for-
tune is in my own hands, madam, and, madam —

Mrs Har. Well ! do vou know now, when

Jrour blood circulates a little, that I think you
ook mighty well f But you was in the wrong not
to mmrry at my age — swert three and twenty !
You can't conceive what a deal of good it would
have done vour temper and your spirits, if you
had married fearly

Jt fus ifar. Insolent! provoking! female ma-
lice !

Mrs Har. But to be waiting till it is almost
too late in tlie day, and force one's self to say
BtrBnge tilings — with tbe tongue and heart at va-
riance all the time — ' I don't mind tlie hideous

* men' — * I am very happy as 1 am' — and all that
time, my dear, dear sister, to be upoa tbe tenter-'
hooks of expectation

Mas Har. I upon tenter-books !

Mrs Har. Aud to be at this work of sour
grapes, till one is turned of tbr^e and forty —

JHui Har. Three and forty, madam ! I desir6
sister — 1 desire, madam — three end forty, ma-
dam !

Mrs Har. Nay, nay, nay ; don't be angry —
don't blame me ; blame my husband ; he is your
own brother, you know, snd be knows your age.
He told me so.

Mist Har. Oh ! madam, I see your drift —
but you need not give yourself tliose airs, madam
— — the men don't see with your eyes, madam
— ^ycars, indeed ! Three and forty, truly ! I'll as-
■ore you — upon my word — hah ! very 6ne ! But
I see plainly, madam, what you are at — Mr Cle-
rimont, madam ! Mr Clerimont, sister ! that's
what frets you— a young husband, madam —
Younger than your Iftwbaiid, madam — Mr Cle-
liaiont, let me tell you, madam ■■■

Enter Triple.

3W. Oh ! rare news, madam ! cbamuog newsl
we have got another letter

MUs Har. From whom ? From Mr Cleri-
mont? where is it?

Tri. Yes, madam; from Mr Clerimont, ma-
dam.

Miss Har. Let me see it ; let me sec it —
quick, quick ! [Reeds.

' Madam,

* The honour of a letter from you has so filled

• my mhid with joy and gratitude, that I want
' »ordsof force to reach but batf my meaning.

* I cnn only say that you hare revived « heart
' tliat was expiring for you, and now beats (et-

* you alone.* —

There, sister, miud that ! Years indeed !

[Reads to ken^^

Mrs Har. I wish you joT, sistei^^ 1 wirii

t had noi gone to Ranelagh with her last week.
Who could have thought that her faded beautie*
would have made such an impresiiun on him r

Mits Har. Miud here again, sister. [JteaA:]

* Ever since I had the ^ood fortUDe of seein
' you at Ranelagh, your idea has been ever p«»-

* sent to me ; and, Mnce you now |^e me Icat^

* I shall, without deUy, wait uuoo your faradMrf

* and whatever terms he prescribes, I shall raadily
' subscribe to ; for, to be your dave, b dearer lo

* me than liberty. I have the hoooar U>remai%

' The bumblest of your admirer^
* CLEmiiioire.*
There, sister !

Mrs Har. Well, I wish yon joy agab — but w
member I tell you, take care what yira do—'
lie is young, and, of ooorse, S^dd^ and iaooa-
stant.

Miss Har. lie is warm, pua^Loaue, mid re^
der.

Mrs Har, But yna don'l know how loog diac
may last; and liere sre you ^fiing to break of tf .
very suitable matchr which all your friends liked j
and approved, a tnatch with captalp Cape, wfaovi
to be sure I

Miss Har. Don't name captain Cap^ I h»J
seech you ! don't name biin —

Mrs Har. Captain Ciipp, let me tell fia, i
not to be despised ; he Ims acquired, by hi?
ages to India, n rery pretty foriutw — — h*<
charming box of a l*uu^ npon Llackiuy m
and is of an age every way suitable lo yon.

Miss Har. There again, now ! Aec,
for ever ! Years, years, rny year* ! But I tff! •*
once for all, Mr Cleriruoiit does not Ke ^" ■■''
your eyes ; I am deterinined to hear na lufTv ' >
captain Cape; udious Iliickncy Manji ! «1l. >^
ter ! vou would be gtnd to see n^e uiarnifd '■'■' ■
middtiog way

Mrs Har. I, sister ! I am sure nobody nil *
joice more at your prcferraeiii; — I nm t«ul'«^
never to visit her, if MrClcriuioDC luam^vlUf'

[Jii^

Miss Har. Well, well ; I tell you Mf Cfcj
mont has won my heart ; ymiug, limniN i« l. f^
— town-house, cauntrj-housc — equip;" ^ - '
and only him, will 1 surrender mvii-lr— : ' itr .
forty, indeed ! ha, ha ! ynu see, in'. il> ", <• |
sister, that these feniures ak- »tiU xKpi\i
blooming; that thf love-dBrlii.ijt<t'vrhiai
forsook inc; nnd that I liuve iimdi?*!
which your bon<tcd ><Miih mii^bt be tk**

Mrs Har. > '. madam, 1 beg yon
I have taken too much liberty for yua

BniTlsri DRAMA.

- Mill Har. I huutilv thank yon for jotir n<J-
vtc«, ray sweet, dnr, fnrodiy sisler; but dtMi't
enry me, 1 tteg you won't; don't fret vourwlt';
you cau't cuoocive wluit a deal of pK»d a sereni-
ty o( mind will do your lieultti. Ill gu and write
%a wuwcr directly to Uiis charminit, clmnitink;
letter — Auter, your* — I shall l>e ^Ud lo m'*: y<>ii,
sifter, at my bou^e in llill-street, wlic ii I mn Mrs
Clt'ninooi — and remember wiial I tell ynu — thai
tome facc% rvtnin tlicir blooiu and Iwautv lnti^rr
thwi ym intiuEitKf my tk>ur si^tcr—^umo, 'i'ritle
^j-lel OM fly thi» uioiiient — »ivtr, \u«r wrMuit,
~ [Eju Misft ilMt.nith Till.

'n Bar. Your vr*snt, my dear. Well, I miti
lomed to lead ihc i^yirst life in nntiirc, if
>be miirrios CIcriinoiit. HI bare n new i-<|titpa£L',
ihm'n one tliiiip — ntid 1*11 hare grratcr routs than
her, thut'ft anoltiur — p(i«ltjv-cly, 1 niitst outsliinr
her tbcre — sod I'll keep iin a potitt cnmiiv with
her — go aiKl tee her, mrvy tie, onro or twice in n
winter — 'Madam, I uiii reiilly so hurricil with

* tuch n nninU-r uf fkcqiuiiuiiiKxs, that 1 can't
f puVMbly find time' — And tlicn t-i provoke ber,

* I wiih you joy, sUtcr ; I hear you arc brct'dinj;.'
Ha, ha ! that will to murlily iter — * 1 wish it may

* be a boy, Mster.* — Hn, ha ! nii>l ihon when her
husband D<i:iu« to despise hf^r, ' Kcalty, sisur, I
' pity Tou— had you taken my advice, und inarri'
f ed the [ndin captnin — your mw is a cninpui-

* sionucc o(»c.'— Compouioii is to inMileiit wliun a
body frelft none at all — ha, lui ! it is the finest
way of iimUting

Entrr Mr Ha mow,

Afr TItir. So, my dear ; how arc my *istcr'» af-
^fain goini; on '

Mr* Har. Why. rovdcar, «he hn«i had anorhcr
ItttKr from Air Clerimoiii ; did you uvlt lii-ur uf
lb an odd, unaccountable thing, patched up in
Lhiirry here?

yMr Unr Why, it \* sudden, to be rore.
A/r« Har. Upftn ray word, I think you hnri
lulviMi lic-r not to brenk utt with captain

Uar. N'o. not I ; I i«i^i slie tnay bq mar-
. iiiic iir otbifr of them — for her temper ia
' ^own >n very *our, and iticrc is such eter-
»rtn|liiig between ye Ixiih, that I wish lo
in her own house, for the peace and quiet
p.
Vi Uw. Do you knoK this Mr Clerimont?
'r Har. No ; but I have heard of the fami*
• i» a very hoe fortune — I vriih he luay
intention.

'ur. Why, I doiihl it vastly.
If-. And truly so do I; for, between our*

le no rhiirms in my siMcr

\r. For uiy part, I can't comprehend it
oiwld suike his fancy, is to me the
_ thing — after tliis, I sliull bv iiur-
nwhitie ■ —

Mr Har. Well, straa^e tilings do hnppen ; so
she IS but married out of the whv, I mn satisfied
— aa old maid in a house is the <levil-

Enter a Servant,

Str. Mr Clerimont, sir, to wait on you —
J/r Har. Shew him in — [EsU &t.)— How
curnp* this visit, pray ? i

Mrt Uar. My sifter wrote to him to explain
himself to you ; well, it is mighty odd — but I'll
lei«fe you to youraclvc». The man niu»t he an
idioc to think of Iter. \Aaidtt and trit.

Eater CLERfMOsr.

Mr Har. Sir, { nm glad to have this plea-
sure.

Cle. I presume, sir, yon are no stranger to the
businefx ihnt Dccnoions ihi^ vi^tit ?

Mr Har. Sir, ihc honour you do me and my
family

CV. t)h, sir! to bo allied to your family, by ko
tend^ a tic as a rnarnai^ with yoursiHer, will at
oc»ce rrfli-cf n credit upon mr, nod conduce to my
happinei>k in the most esivntial point. The lady
clianned nic at the rerv tirst «it;ht.

Mr liar. Ilic devil she did ! [AtUf.

Cie, Ttic scn<iibility nf lu:r countenance, the
elc[;aiice uf her figure, die saeeloen of ber man-
ncr— --

Mr Har. Sir. you arc pteai^ to— compli-
ment.

Cfr. Compliment I not in iJie least, lir.

Mr it>ir. Tiie swectJi««s of my sister's mnn-
ner ! — [Aui}e.]—Un, ha !

Cle. The first tune T w»« her was a few nights
a!£0 nl Jlaneln);h; tbnnE;h thrrr Mas a cro^d nf
bcautiea in the ruoni, tliruneuiK and prosiiit all
aroundt yet slic shone amune^t them rH with !hj-
pcrior lustre — she wns walking arm in arm with
another lady — no opportunity ofli>red for mc to
form an acquaintance amidbt the hurry and
bustle uf tlie place, but 1 enquired tlicir names,
i» they were s^^ng into their cnanot, and karncil
tlwy were Mn and Miss Harlow. From ihot
moment she won my heart, aud, at one glance, I
became the willing captive of her l^-auty —

A/r Har, A very camlid declurution. sir !
How can this he? The hloom Um l>een off the
peach any time these lifteen yeara, lo my know*
ledg« — [J!lti(/«.} — You see my sister wiui a r»>
vourable eve, sir.

CU. A favourable eye ! He must greatly want
fJiscemraent, who has not a quick perception of
her roerit.

Mr Hftr. You do her a great deal of bonour

— hut this affair is it not soniewhat sudden,

sir?

CU. I grant it; yo>i may, indeed, be Burprtvcd
at it, sir ; nor should I have )>een horily enough
to nuke any overtures lo yuu, aa Icujt ycj; a

281

BRITISH DRAMxV

[Murphy.

whilcjif she licrecif lta»l ndl comlMccnikd 10 iis-| Mrt Har, He seems in ccvDrusioiv--* preirr
ten to iDj pa»uon, and autltorised me, under her mao, too ! Thai this *iboii}d be tnjr vsttr** lock *

own fuir fiand, to appl]> tu -her brother for hr^

cim^nl

Mr hat: I shall be ven' reody, sir, to giro my
npprubation to tnv uster's nappiness.

CU. No donbtTDu will; but let me not chc-
ri)lt ui unavailing flMnc, a Aame that alreadv
light* up all my tenderestpaSMon^.

SrSr liur. To yoii, «r, there con be no cxcfp-
linn; t nm a<it alltq^elber a stranger to your Ta-
milv Biid riit'iuiip — Ills lan!>nn^ u nanii. coiisi-
dciinii inv si-tcr's a^€ ; bu[ 1 won't liurt her prc-
ienuent — [ Jnrff.J — You will p»rdnn roc, sir, one
thiiij;; yuu nrc vert young'

Ch: Sir,] niu olmuftt three ai\d titenty.

Mr liar. Butbave youroiwultcd Towrfrirnds?

Cle. I have; mv uiielc, Mr Hearlncll, nho

proposes to leave mc a rery handsome aditiiian

to tnv fortune, which is cotisideraUe utreadt —

be, «r' -

Mr Har. Well, sir^ if he has no objection, I
can have none.

C/r. Ilr has none, sir; he Itai girva his crm-
»ent; he desires me to lose no time; I will
Itrtng liiin t() p-ar >nn a vibit; lie rejniL-es in iny
choice — you i^hall Imvc it nut of his own rootttl)
— name your hour, and lie shall altctid xou —

Afr Hor, Any litne to-daj' ; I »liiJl sUy nt
borne on purpose.

Vie. In the ci-enin^ I mill conduct htm hither;
in (he mean time, 1 feel an ntlacbuient here — tliu

lodv, sir

Mr Har, Oh ! you want (o see my sister? I «ill
aernl lier to ii-ou, >ir, l\\\» in»Tiuil. I beg your par-
dun fur Icniiui: you alone; ha, tia ! nho coidd
hare thought of lier making u conquest at insc ! —

[}lxit Mn Har.
Clt. Sir. your moH obeUient^ — now, Clcriinuni,

now your heart may rest coQteat your doubts

and fi-Hrs inuy nit fiubiide, aodjoyund ranturt-
take ilieir pla'ct' — Mtss Hariow fihnit be mine-
she receives my vniva; ^e nppmvcs my passion.
[Siagi «Hrf t/oJir/i.] Soft I here she roniei — Her
■very appeAranre ronimuK my wildest hopes and
hushes my proud Iwan into respect and silent
admiration——

EnttT Mrs HAitow.

Mrf Har. Sir, your scrram

Cfr. Madam! [fintrx respcrtfuilif.

Mn Har. I thought Mr ilorlow was ' bere,

[Amdc.

Cle. Mndnm ! [JSmtnrrmtKit.

Mrs liar, I imagine yoa hnrc b«en tftUtioctu
him on the s*ibject of llie letter ^u seiit tbn
uiominp-

Cif. iModam. 1 hate pnr«timed to

Mrs Hnr. \^'eI^ Sir! aud he has no objertinn.
1 bone* ^

Cle. Siie hopes ! HeAvrns bless her fnr th?
word ! [.Ifiijf.] Madam, he has frankly cmtstjii-
cd. if his fcisler will do nte that howoor ■ —

Mrs Bar. For his sister, I think 1 may tito-
ture to aittwcr, sir

Cle. Oenerous, gcocrous crcotnt* !

Mrs liur, Ynu are sure, Mr, nf Wv» Harlow'*
adminition, and the wlnde loinily hold ihent-
wlvf» inuLh obliced to tou

CJr. MaduTn, this cxlrrme ontdcscensioQ las
added ta(iiur« to llic K:ntiuir-DU I leJt before; —
and It shall Ik? the endeavour of my Ijfe lo
firove deservini: of the ammUle object 1 bare da-
red to a«pire lu '

Mrt aar. Sir, I make no doubt of your «»■
ceritv — I hnvi' aln-adv ilrclnrrd my sentimmtt —
you know Mr Harlow'^; and, if my $i«>ter h wtl*
lin^ nothini: mill Ite wanlini; to conclude thn ha-
ziness— It" iKt difficulties arise fj^tm her, for her

temper is uncertain as to myr eoiisetil, w,

your air, your manner, hnsc commanded it

bir, your mo&t ubcdiunC — I'll •eixl mj sister ta
you ' [£|W.

CU. Mndam. ffiiHriifg.] X shall rndeav»ar la
repay this goodness wiih csce»» i»l' crntitiKtc -
Oh, she is an angel ! nnd yet, stupid tbat I ink
I could not t;ivc- vent to ihv icndcnwM I hn*
within — it is ever tn with sincere %ni genmos
liivc; it fdU the heart with rapture, Md tlra
denies the power of utrcnne what src so oqu-
t-itcly fecL Oenemus Mi^s llutluw! stho coiiM
thus see through my canlaftiiiii. interpeei all sf
pcarances fax'uurably. and «<rii|i u ddEoity wpm-
or to her sv\\ littlt^'arts for*^ the t4leceft«h
mcs uf coquetting, tetuiug, uud tansestifif Iks
Jidmirer ! I beur wmeboily. Oh ' Keti- name

Mrs Harlow what a pi

her feature5>! 5*)ie assumes auii.

liud; but I'll endeavour by ittant.^ii: >i. n^J w

spect

Mr.

-how

etc., MftdiifDf be 18 but jaat gone-
unele ^luncu <>\ l«r(.vf dut^awc* n»e \ [Aside.

Mrs Har. I wou^T he would leave tou a-

lone, sir that is not so polite in his own

iKHi-e

CU. Umw her modesty throws a veil over her
incHnotJona ! mv tongue faultcrs ! I cannot speak
10 her. {Adde.

Eater Miss TTsHt-ow.

Aftsi Har. My sister la» inld ine,»ir ^

Cle. .Madam- iBm-sng dmff^f

Mia Har. He is o nweet D^tire. [<(■*'-

Clr. She rather looks like Miss Hnr!"* ""

thcr than her sisier-io-law^—

Miss Har. He seems abashed ; hisfiT^--

ttie cause. |d^«i»/fj My staler i old me. *. '

you was here. I beg pat^lon for nabafl

wait 10 loDg^— '

Murphy.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

S85

I

I

I

CU. Oh, oBichm ! [Bont.} the gloom disap-
peam from ber foce, but the liues of ill-iintiire
rcioujii • [Aiidr.

JUiu /for. I MC he loves mc by his confu-
sion; III chcrr him with aSabtlity. [Citric j Sir,
chn fetter you was plcMcd to send, tuy aster t»9
teen ■ and— ^

Cie. And bos UMired roc Uiat she hai no ob-
jectipn ' ' "

Mia Uar. I am glad of that, air— I was a-
fftud

Cte. No, madnm, slic hai none — and Mr Elar-
low, I ba*4: wei) him, too— -he luis huituured

mc with his consent Now, madam. Uip only

doubt miBias witli you; may i be permitted to
hope-—

ifiu Uar. Sir, you appear like a gentleman,
and

Of. Madam, believe me, nevrr was love
more siuccnr, morr juMly founded on esteem, or
kindled into hieher admiration.

Jlin Har. Sir, with the rest ot* tlie familvi I
bold mywlf much obliged to you, and

CU. Obliged ! 'tis I that am obliired -ttierc

is DO merit od my side — it is tlie consequence of
impRSsiDiu made upon my hi-nrt; and what
heart can rtttit euch beauty, such various gra-
ces !

A/iu Uar. Sir, I am afraid — I wish my sister
heard liim. [.iwi/^.] Hit, I am afraid you arc la-
vish of yoor praise ; and the short date of your
itrre, sir

Cte. k will burn with unabuline ardour; tlic
aune cha^n^, that fmt inspired it, will for ever
ditrivh It, and add nev^ luel — But 1 presume
yon hold this style to try my sincerity — I Mc
ibac's vour aim ; but cnuld ynu read the rt'clinp
of mj Mart, you would not tliu& cruelly keep mc
is wspRise.

Aiiu Hot. Heavens ! if my sister law my
power orer km ! [^su/c] A little suspense can-
not be daeaied uarvaannanlc ; marrta^ is an im- |
pnnant afiair — an adtiir for life ; and some can-
tioit y»>u will allow necessary——

Cif. Madam ! [Uitconeeried.] oh, I dread ihc
KHlfDCCi of her look ! [Jtide.

Mu* Uar. I cAnnot help observins;. Sir, that
you dwell clucfly on article* of exlernnl and su-
perfiaalmenc; vltcrcasthc more valuable qns-
lideaof Itie mind, prudence, good sense, a well-
ngahtcd conduct- — -

C/r. Oil. madam ! I am TWt itiattcnlive to thmv

maCt'Ts t)li ! she has a notable homtcttohl un-

iWnandinj;, I warrant her; [j^Mt/i-.] but let mc
iatrcac you, mudiun, to do justice to mv prin-
ciplest and believe mc a sincere, a geiwroui lo
ver.

Mtiii HtT. Sir, I will frankly own that T Iravt-
been trying you all this time, and frr»m hcnte-
ior^ all dnubN arc baniiLod.

Ctr. Yrtor words recal me to new life ; I shall
jnerit this goodness ; but your

fair lister — 'do you think lean depend upon ber
cuiueni? Mnj- I iljiitcr myself she will not
eliaiiec licr mmil?

Mtts Hnr. &ly sister cannot be tusensiule ot
Uie honour ytm do us all; aD(^ sir, as fai a* ( '
can act with propriety in tJic a£ur, \ will cttdci^ J
vour to keen tlieiu all inclined tu ftivouryoii—

Clr. Maciaai ! ['Bowfc^

Jlfi» Itar. Yon hnrr an interest in my breast
that will be busv for you

Cte. I am etemallj devoted to you, madam— .

Mill i/ar. Ilow modest, and yet liow eiprcMiva |
he is ! \Asidt. .

CU. Madam, I diall be for ever sensible of J
this extretne condescension, and sliall think noT
pains too great to prove the gratitude aud rs- j

teem I bear you 1 be;; my i-OfiU'limcnts lO j

Mr Uarlow, aud I Uutll be here witli inv uuda |
m the OTiiing — as early as possible I shall come ; J
my respects to yonr sister, madam ; and pray^ 1
madam, keep her ui niy intcrc^u Madam, your
most obedient — I have inanafied the mothcrljr '
buly 6nely, I think. {Aside.\ Maihun !

[ Hiwx, and exit,

Mia Uar. What will ray sisicr say now? t.
shall bear un niirc of her tannti — A inalicioiUl]
tliiti^ ! I fancv she noM sees that your giddjf]
flirts are not nlwoys the highest beauties — — Sebl
her up, iixlt^il ! Hnd ihc but tieard him, the -
dear mnn ! »hata%>cet tilings he said ! aud what
sweet tliii^s he looked

£»ter Mrs IUrcow.

'Urs Har. Well, sister ! bow \ what does be
say?

Mii$ B*r. Say, sister ! Every tfaiog that is
dianniuE — ho is the prcniest man !

Mn Uar. NVell. i am glad of It 1 but oU IS
well thac tnda well ,

Mist Uar. F-iivy, sister ! Envy, and dowi^i
right malice ! Oh, liad you heard ail thf tender]
ihinj^ h« iiilcri'd, and uith that cata^y, Um\\
tluit tendonteu ! tluit dvli^ restraiacd by mo
dcsty !

Mrt Uar. t don't know, (Iiotigh ; there is
HOraethiiif; odd in it siill

Mm Uar. Oli, I don't doubt but yoti will say
bo! but you will find I have beautv emn^h tcfta
tf) make some noise in tlic world stiil. Tlwl
men, sister, arc tltc best jmkes of female beni|*|
ty — Don't concern youri«lr about it, sislcr.-
Lcavc it all to ihcm ■

Mn Uar. But only think of a lover yoa ne-
ver saw. hut once at Kaneln^b —

Mitt Uar. Very true! but Lsen then, I sn_«r1
what work I made ii> his heart — Oh ! I am m
mptures with him, and he is in rvptares with
me ! \Singt.'\

Ych 1 'U itave e Am&m^, ay (Mrry, ^,_
S

fiSG

BRITISH DRAMA.

[MOKPHT.

Enter Mr IIarlow.

Mr Har. So, sister ! how stand mattera now -

Afut Heir. As 1 could wish ; I shall no more
he a troubie to you ; he has declartrd iiimaelf in
the most wimn and vehement manner — TIxhi^
niT sifter has her doubts— die is a good Irieod —
sKe is afraid of my success

Afrx Har. Pray, sister, don't think so meanW
of me — I understand that sneer, madam ■■ —

A/iis Har, And I understand you too, ma-
dain-— — ■

Mr Har. Come, come, I desire we may have
no quarreliiiig ; yoa two are always wrangling ;
bat vrhca you are separated, it is to be hoped
you will then be more amicable. Thii^ are
now in a fair way ; though, sister, let me tell
you, I am afraid our India fnend will think him-
self ilMreated.

MrM Har. Th^t'i ^rhat I fear, too ; that's my
reason for speaking •

MiMM Har, O, never throw away a thought on
him ! Mr Clerimout has my heart ; and uow I
think I am settled for life ! Sister — I love to
plague hec— now, I think, I am settled for life !
for lif^ ! for life, my flear sister ! — ^-

Enter SertORt.
Sfr. DioDer is served, sir.

Mr Har. Very well ! oome, sbter, I pre ym
joy ; let us in to dinner.

MUs Har. Uh, vul^! I can't aat: I most
gu aiid dress my head over ^;aio, and do m tfaoa-
Mtid thincK ; for I am determiued I'll look tlui
afiemoon as well as ever I can. [£nL

M:s Har. Is not all tliis amazing, my dear!
Her htjd is turned !

Mr Har. Well, let it all pass : doo*c yoa ntnl
it; dob't you s-tv any thiitg; let h?r get raarned
if she can; I am sure I shall rejoice at iL

Afrs Har. And, upon my word, my 4eu-, m
shall I ; and, if I interfere it i» punly 0«t of
frieodsbip.

Mr Har. But be sdrised by me ; say no moie
to her. If the a&ir goes on, we shall fisirly get
rid of her. ller peevish bmoours, aiid her mu*
dc^n temper, are become insupportable. Omit,
let us in to dinner. If Mr Cleiimoot marnea bcr,
which, indeed, will be odd enough, we shall tbm
enjoy a little pearo and quiet. [Eiit Ma Hai.

Mrt Har. What in the world could th« bu
sec in her ? Oh ! he will repent his bargaia in 4
week or a fortnight ; that I am sure he wiU— ibe
19 gone to dress now ! ha, ha !

Oh, how she rolls her pret^ «n in vpitf.
And looks delightfully with all her ought !

Ua, ha ! delightfollr «lic wiU look, indeed !

ACT II.

SCENE I.

Enter Capt. Cape, and a Sertttnt,

Ser. Yes, sir, my ma»ter is at home ; he has
just done dinner, sir. ,.

Capt. Cape. Very well, then ; tell lum I would
speak a word with him.

Ser. 1 heg pardon, sir ; I am bat a strangier in
the family; who stiall I sny? —

Capt. Cape. Captain Cape, tell him.

Ser. Yes, sir. [Exit Ser.

Capt. Cape. I can hardly believe my own eyes !
^Sdcath ! I am almost inchned to think this let-
ter, signed with Miss Harlow's name, a mere
forgery by some enemy, to drive me into an ex-
cess of passion, aud so injure ua both ; I don't
know what to say to it.

Enter Mr Haklow:

Capt. Cape. Sir, I have waited on yoil about
an extraordinary aflkir; I can't comprehend it,
sir. Here is a letter with your sister's name —
Look at it, sir — Is that her iiand-writing f

Mr Har. Yes, sir : I take ic to be her wiit^
ing.

Cwt. Cape. And do you know the contents I

3& Har. I can't say I have read it ; but—

Capt.Cape. Butyonknow the porpOfCoftlk

Mr Har. Partly.

Cejtt. Cape. You do ? and is not it base im^
ment, sir ? — is it not unwarrantabltt 1 can 7M
justify bcr?

Mr Har. For my put, I leave womea lo
manage their own a&iti ; I am not food of '»:
tenueddling—

Capt. Cape. But, sir, let me ask job ff«*
not every thii^ agreed upon? Are not theaii^
ings now in lawyers' hands ? Wu not aatt M>k
6xed for our wedding ?

Mr Har. I understood it so.

Capt. Cape. Very well, then; and aM kiif
she treats me ! Kie writes me here, to a floa-
tcraptuous manner, that she recall hcv jmaiWt
it was raslily given; she has UmmwIa bettwof it!
bhe will listen to me no more ; we ia goiil f
dispose of herself to a gentleman wi^i- whoa Ae
can be li^py for life— and I fleure to iw J****
more, ur ! There, that's free and cf^, is Mtkf
What do you say to that ?

Mr Har. Why, really, air, it ift qot my dbr;
I have nothing to say to iu

Capt. Cape. Nothiis to say to it ! Sir, IiM-
gioed I was dealing wiu people of faoooor !

Mr Har. You have beeq dealii^ wiA a at*
man ; and, yon know —

BRITISH DRAMA.

Cmpt. Capr. Yes, I kDOw— X kaovr die Ircnchc-
Sy of tbc w& '—Who 19 this frentteiu&u, pray ?

Mr Har. Ki» iituni- i» CIcrimoiit — tlify have
fixed liir al£iir niiioiig iheiiiMilvc^ and ainuDg^t
r llictQ be it lor me.
I Ctipt. Cape. Very fine ! migbtjr fine ! is Miss

I Mr Bbr. She i* ; sod here the comes, too !
r Capt. Cape. Vflrt well ! lei m« hear it from
JkerMif, tbMl's all ; 1 desire to bear her itueuk fur
lieneir.

ilfr Bar. With all my heart I'll Icnre vou
locetber — you know, captaui, I wiu never fund
4»rbeii^ ooocerocd in tlicnc things, [£xtf.

i«r beui

Enter Miss Uahlow.

Mist linr, dipt. Cape ! tlus is mighly udd —
I tiiuu^bt, sir, I actircd —

Capt. Cape. Madnio, I acUnuwIedj^c tJiu re-
,cnpt of vour Icitfr ; and, moiliun, (he usat;« i^ 9o
CxtraordjiiftTv, that 1 bold mnclf eicii<uib<lc if I
iflcCuse to oocDply with the terms you impose upon

MtMt Uar. Sir, I really wonder what ytvx caa

Oipt. Cmpt, Mistake me not, inndjira ; I am

to whiioper or tovthiuc. and tu make a

of myself a^n; nmdani, that is oU blown

ifiat Har. Well, tljen, tfaffre is oo harm donr^

i you will surrive thi^s i hope.

Capt. Cape. Survirt it !

Jliw Uar. Vcs ; you won't grow dcspemtc, I

tt Suppose yuu ^cre to urdcr Mincbody to

icare of you, becnu§e you know fit^ of dcs-

i sudden, aiid yuu ntav rashly ilii ynurwlf

lief — duo'i do any sued ttuug ; I beg you

I't

__ 4. Cape. This lusult, oindani ! — Do inyself
i misciifefl— Madam, don't Halter yourself that
|it is in your power to make nie unhappy ; it is
LMSVMWo brinifs me bither, 1 assure yfMi.

r Mar. Then, loi vexation take yon away ;
t wefe netiT deM^ned fur niie anottter f
Capt. C-upc. My tuniueiucut brings inc hither !
uazemeiit, that any womnn can behave — hut
I (lon't want tu upbraid ; I only come tu ask — i^tr
' caui hardly as yet believe !t — I only come to
, if I am to credit this pretty epistle ?
'iiu Har. Every syllabic : therefore, take
otir aiuwef, air, aiid tnioe with yonr importu-
Ity.

Cdp(. Cape. \vrf well, lundam ; Tery ui'll ;

Evorhonible servant, mndum — 1 proiuiac you, ina-

n^ 1 can rrpny this scorn with scorn ; with ten-

: wrurn, muc^n, such as this ircBtinent de-

-that's all — I lay no more — your servant,

1 1 but let me ask you, is thi^ n just return

I liie aiteodance 1 have paid yuu these ttuee

■ JIMtf

Mm Uar. Pcrfcttljr just, sir. Three yean!

bow cottid ynu be n dangler so long } I told yuu
wtuU it Wdutd Lome lu ; cnii yuu think, that rat-
sirtt; a womuD'a eiptctutiun, and tiriug her out of
III! patience, is the wny u> makR sura of her aC
Itut? you ought lo have been a hri»ker lover;
you ouglir, indeed, Htr ! I am nuw contracted to
another, aud so there is au eiul of every thing be*
tweeu us.

Capt. Cope. Very wHI, madam — and yet, I
can't liear ru be dcspi»cd by her — and, can you.
Miss llurlow, can you fnd it in your liL-ait lo
treiit me with this disdain? havo you no com-
pasMuu }

Miu Har. No ; positircly, noncv sir ; iKNie,
none.

Capt. Cape. Your own Captain Cape, whoio
you — —

Miss Har. Whom I dc'ipise !

Copt, Cape, ^\'llOlll you have so often encou-
raged 10 ndore you !

Mits Har. Pray, sir, don't touch tny hand ; I
am now tlie property of another !

Capt. Cape. Cnn't you still break off with
him f

il/us Har. No, sir, I can't, I won't. 1 love him :
and, sir, it' vou are a man uf honour, yoo wiil
speak to me no more ; ile^ist, sir ! fur if you don't,
my brotlK-r shall lell you af it, sir, und to-morrow
Mr Ctcrim'jnt shall tell you of it.

Capt. Cape. Mr Clcrimont, madam, shall fi^t
me, l(ir daring

Miit Har. And must I fiji^t you, too, nunt
noble, vttliant mptain i

Capt. Cape. Laughed at, loo !

litut Har. What a passion you are in ! I can't
bear to see a man in such a passion — Oh *. X have
u happy rtUdnnce of you; the violence of ymir
temper is dreadful ; I won't itay a uioment lon-
ger with you; yuu Irii-Uten me; yuu luive your
answer ; and so, your servant, sir.

[Exit Miss Har.

Capt, Cape. Ay ! she is gone otf like n fury;
uud tlie furies catch licr, say 1 ! I will npver put
up with this; I will find out this Mr Clrriniotit,
und he shall be aceuuntsble tu Dte ; Mr liarlow,
too, shuU be acoountnbic to mc.

£nier Mr and Mat Uaiilqw.

Mr Ilarlow, I am used very ill here, bir, by all of
you, and sir, let mc l«U you -

Mr Har. Nay, dun't V' angry wjtb ine, sir! I
was not to marry yuu.

Capi. Cape. But, sir, I can't help bcinp angry;
I muiit be aii^ry ; and, let mu tell yuu, yuu don't
behave like a ^endeinan.

Mr$ Har. Man can Mr Hnrlow help it, sir, if
my s-ster

Mr Har. You are too warm; you are itidecd,
sir; let us both talk tJiis iiwltcr over a bottle.

Capt. Cape. Noj sir; no bottle; over a c«n-
non^ if vou wilt.

«83

BRITISH DRAMA.

[MosraY.

Mn Har. Mercy on mc. lir ! I hc% ynii wott't
talk ill thnt tcrriblo inanoer; you frightea inc>
sir.

Mr Har. Do )«u quiet, mv dear — CapL Cape,
1 bcc vou will just sirp iiitu iliut nwin with iitc;
and if, iu tlie disptttclutig iiiu! bottle, I doii'i ac-
quit mjKlf of all aini&ter dealing, why, tlieit—
come, cornr, be a little cnofteraie ; ycMi »hall Mcp
with iitc ; I'll lake it as n Aivour ; come, ooiiii:,
you rxxMst.

Caiit.Capr. I always fnund jou a gentlemnii,
Mr Unrlun' ; aiid sij, with all my hrsrc; I daiA
care if I du talk ihe niaricr wcv with jnu.

Mr Har. Sir, I am ublit:,cd in you ; I'll shew
you the way.

[KrvMot Mft IIah. auitCAVT. Cape.

Mrs Har. It is jiwt ns I fnrcwiw ; my sitter
wa^ sure of hiiu, and now iis *he goiiig to break
otr for a yniins mnn that will dcsplsfr her in a lit-
tle time ; I wislj slif! would have Capt. Ciipe !

£nt€r Miss IUrlow.

Jlf til Har. la he goiie, sister ?

Mri Har. No ; mid Ixrc 19 tlic deuce and all
tu do ; he is fur fi«;hiin{; tvtry Iwdy, Upon my
vrord, you arc wruitf^; \uu dun'i bi-lisivr gcntccllv
in the alEiir.

j1/iu Har. Genteelly ! I like that nnUin pro-
digiously ! Rit't I Eoinc to mnrry genteelly f

nirn Har. \Vf|f. folluw yoirr own ioclinutions;
I won't intermetldle any in(»re, I prtmiise yon ;
I'll 5ipp into the pnrlour, and »tc what iliey are
almuu [Exit Mn* Uar.

A/lit Htr. Ai yoQ ptcawt madam. I rpc
plainly the ill-natared cnJrig can't henr my mic-
CCM. UMveni ! here comes Mr ClerimoDi !

Enter Mn Clbkimont.

Mm Har. You are eariicr than I expected,
»r.

Cle. I have flown, madam, upim the «in(^ of
love : [ have Men my iiiKle, and he «ill be here
within this half hour; every ihm^ lucceedsiomy
wi!>hc3 With him ! I hope liwre is do alteration
bere, madam, sioee I suw vou ?

M'.is Har. Nothing that wipiifies, sir.

etc. You alarm mc ! Mr Harlow hat not
chani;ed his Ktiml, t hope?

Miu Har. No, «ir ; be ooatinuei in tlic %uae
mind.

etc. And your nirter * I tiv-mble witli d^ubt
and J'ear ! <Jtc iloc* 0'»t $urelv recede from the
acntimcnis aiic Ruiion-d me vwith i

Mm Har. WJiy, tlicrc, indeed, I can't my
much — slie —

CU. How ?

Mm Har. She— I don't know what to moke
of her.

CU. Oh! I an on the nek! in ]Mqr, do not
torture lur !

Alin Bar. How tremblingly^ solicitous he n!
Oh ! I have mode a saic conquest ! [Atide.'] Why
bhe, sir ! —

Cie. Avt [DisnmrarJrrf.

illiu Har. She does not t«cai «otirelj to ap-
prove.

CU. You kill me with despair.

Mitx Har. Oh ! he is deeply smitten. [ JitA]
She tlunks auotlicr niatrli would Miit better.

Cie. Auoilier match !

Jlfijj Hitr. Yes, another; an India captini,
«lin hus nmclc lit^ prujnfals ; but I shall Ulc
care to sec him dismissed.

CU. Will you ?

AtiMt Har. 1 promise vou I will— though be
niii5 muuh in my sister'* head, tind %he has tilini
ptiiuii to bring my other rchitioua over to her ojd-
nioii.

Cte, Oil ! cruel, cruel !— 1 c»»»ld am btn
expccird dmt iVom tier — tut hnn she &ud
Iter heart upon b matdi with this other godli-
inufi?

Misi Hnr, Why. truly I think »hc has— bet
my will m this lU&iir mu»t be, and shall kr
consulted.

Cfr. And fo it ought, madnm — ^your long tc-
quniiiumcK »iih the world, miultuu — ^

Mm Har. Lon); acquAiiUDoce, sir I I faBtehrt
K few years t-x|N.'rienre only —

Clc. I'hat is, ymir pctod sense, madAOi'-ob-
confiiund my loiitfue ! bow that slipt fnigi ne.
[ylWc-}— your good sense — your early |oad
>c\-nc — and — ami — uicUnutioo should be roo-
sulied.

Miu Har. And they shall, sn*— hark !— thnv
her— I'll tell you wlmt — I'll Icare you t(n» •^
port unity (u bucak to her o«ee more, and trr ^
win her over by prrsunMin — It will make ibnfi
easy, if you cun — I am gone, sir.

[Curiuet uffWitJh, owdSnt.

Cie. The happiness of my life will he amvi
to yun, ininlara — The woman » rrally l»ttc»a»-
turcd itiau I ilu>ueht she wiu — ahc comes! da
lovely tyrant comes 1

Enter Mrs IIarlow.

Cie. Slie triumphs in her cructtr, aod 1 •■
ruined [jUHt

Mrs Har. YoD fioem aSUctcd, ur — I hojM ■■
inibfortuue —

Cie. The severest nusfortunc ! yoa !••»
bruke my heart —

Mrt Har. I break you heart, air ) —

Cie. Yes, cruel fair — you — you ha«« a***
me.

Mrt Har. You amaic me, atr ! piaj^ bo*' a*

Cie- And you can seem napMiadoM of '^
mischief you nave oude—

Mn Har. Pmy uDiiddle, wp -*

Cte, Madam, your sister has told me a^

MtTBrv

BRITISH DRAMA.

C&9

iSn Uar. Ho, hftl what bu the told 700^
mi

CU. Il Bia^ be sport to you — but, to me, 'tis
ficatli —

ifnj£«r. What iidemth?

CU. The g:ei>[leiii.ui from Indii\, tnacUm^I
have heard it all — you (-an |^ivo him n proffr-

■ncfr— jruu can blntt my luifMa mv loud

ddi^ttxl bopoi, vrhicb you yourself bad cli»-
mfaed.

Mrt Bur. The gftiitleman u a very good aort
of inuk

Cic Oh ! she lovea him, I tep— [j4tid:e>—
Biadao^ 1 perceive my doom is fixed, and hted
by Tou^

Jtfn Ikf. How hare I fixed y>ur doom ?— if
I speak lavuuniblv ut rapUiu Cupe, bt dvM:rvi:»

Cirw Ob I heavens I 1 ctaimot bew tli»*

Jtfn tiitr. I belic-ve there is mibudr Utat
knovrt tba gcutkniBiv but will gif u htm his due

Ch. Lore, lore, love t [Jiidf.

Mrt Har. And beudea, his cbum ii ra iact
priof to yours,

Cie. And a)t»M lov« be pitcrned, like the bu-
tiDcH of tuecbaiiick, l>^ tl»e \wttt oi tymnt cii»-
Umt-^^un you tmniL lu, madam i

Mn Har. Wliy, air, you know 1 am not 10

Ikk.

Cte. Oh ! cruel ! — m» oiadam, I aoe ^m are
auC

Afn liar. And really novr, air, rpasorvablv
l|)eakiiig, my siMcr i» for licalmtj; captain Cajie
very ill — He has btca duucii^ aitciidauce here
lAmt three year& ■ ■

Cit. Vet that you knew, when you vrerc pleat-
ed to fail the nung llaizic, tbut motchlon bcuity
had kindleil in my brnrr.

JUm Har, MacchlcM bcau^ !— ha, ba!— I
cannot but laugb at that —

[Andt.

CIt. Lau^h, madam, if you «tiU, at the pangs
50U yoanall oocnuQit— ves, triumph, if you nill
— I am resigaod to my fate, miicu yoa will luivc

Mrt Har. I bare it so ! — you seem to frifEhlcQ
yooriHf without cau»c — If 1 apvak litvuurably
ly body dse. mr, — wtint then t— I am uoi to
hiiti, you baow.
An'i yiiu?
Mn Har. I !— no, truly ; thank Itonren ! —
Op. She rcviwj me. [Aaidc

Mrt Mtr. Iliat must be as my sister p|«aee&.
C'/c. Mu»t It'

Mrt Uar, Must it? — to be sure it must !
Ck, Aod mny I Iwpr soiite mtcrcnt in jour

ibeart'
ifrs H«r. Mv heart, sir <
Cfe. While It i» diviikd, while Another bae
pomwiuM of l-ut part of it. —
Vai,UI.

I Mn Bar. I don't un<lerstand biia !— Why, it

has Ijeen j;n'en awav b>iii( ai;<i.

CU. I pmy you do not tyranniH me ihuswitb
ulteriiate doums and fear? — if >nu w ill but bkM
mo with the lca« kiod r«tom—

Mr5 Har. Kinil iTturn I what, would you bava
rac fall ill love with you /

CU. It will ha geuerow to him who adores
you.

^frt Har. Adores me!

C(ff. Kren to id<»latry.

Mr* Har. What caiihe mean? — I (houghtny
sifter wai the i^bject of yiwr ndoratton.

Cle Your 9irt<r, mad'imi ! I sfwll ever respect
Iter as mv fncnd nii this uccaiinii ; but love— 00
— iij»^ftbe i* im object for tbut— —

Mn Har. No !

Clc. Hhr mav liave been liandfiome in bcr
lime, hiit that bus been all o*er long atfo-

Mrt Har. Well ! tlii* i^ cl>iinnina ! t wish nhc
hi-nn) him now, witli her new-fiuii^led nir»,
[^ni/t.]— Bui let me understaud you, Mr; ndoro
mr !

Ch. Yoo, ynu ! aral only you I by this fair
hnnd — f ICiMM if.}

Mr% Har. Ilulrl, bold ! this n ftoing loo far;
but prat, lip, hare yoa r«ally cooceived a pii^
sum for me ?

C/r. You know I l«va; a pateioa of the len-
derest Oitturc.

Mr* Har. And wa« that your drift b coming
hither }

Cir. What elwcijuld iiwluccme?

Mn Har. Anil inlrodiived yo«r»elf here, to
have ail cipportomtv uf swaVin* to me ?

f7r. Mv aiieel ! dfin'c tiirmPiiI mo thus —

Mn Har Arwcl ! and pray, «.ir, what d<j yoa
•Hippnte Mr llnrlnw will uty in thuif

Cie. Ob I tniidAin — l>c ! I>e opprmefl my pav
jion.

Mn Har. Dors he raalty ?— I mtwt speak to
him abtml that —

Cfe. Do no, madaro, jaxt will find I am « mnil
of nvrre honour thnn to deciiiv« y'»u —

Mrt Hnr. Well ! it will be whimsical if he
does ; and mv sister. 100 : ibit will be n ebarmin^
discovery for bcr ! [yinrfc]— llu,ba ! well' nnlly
sir, ihis'is luighty odd ; lit apeak to Mr Har-
low about this matter this very moment

Cie. Oh ! you will liDd h all true— and may 1
then flatter myself —

Mrt Har. Oti*. lo ho »ilPe — siu-h ao bunoum-
hle project — I'll step to turn ilii» itiiiment — and
then, si4ter, 1 sitall make such a pitrce of work
for voa — [ EnV.

Cfr. Very well, madam— see Mr II»rlow im-
uicrtiiilrly— be will citiirtim u to vou — while thero
15 life there is liftf*— euch iniiioble>3 beauty { —

KnUr MiM IIarlow.
Miu Har. I beg your pardon, sir. for !«■»•.
30

BRITISH DRAMA.

[MCRPHt-

ing TOO all dus time — Well, whot says m; sis-
icr?"

Cie. Six has p^*^ ™<^ >^™<= |liiunien&§ of
hope.

Afiu Itar. Well, don't be une&»/ Hbout lior
—it shntl l»r ■» 1 {rfenM.-^

C/i'. Bui ¥,mU ht-r own free foment ii would
bo Itcttfi^— however, to you I tun bound hy eve-
rv lie, »nd Uiut Itl ine m^I k vow — [Kiufi Arr

.Ifui Uar. He rertainly is a very pBBaiaimte
lover — Uird! br i% rtady to eiti luv hHiid up
with kiswa — I wifrb my »i*ter saw ihis — fJiM/r.]
Ilufih ' I hear cnprmiil Ape'svnice — the ntdeoua
trnnioutiuic ! — ht- i» otning tliii way — I would
iiol M-'c liun uaaiii lor iht world — ni withdraw a
momcnl, air — you'll esciisc mc, Mr ClcmtMinl —
[Kittn ker hand, and curtnet nv^ /<w.] your
Mnaot, air-"Uh ! be ts a tibiiiinrtif: man,

[Cortiit$, and «*it.

Emtrr C*M-*1K CaI-e.

Clip/. Cape. I'hcre bhe fpti, the peHidious !
Sir. I understand y ur name is Clbrimont —

Clr. .M your wnricc air.

Capt. Capt. Then, sir. draw tliis moiDeaL

CU. Draw, wr ! for wl«it ?

Capt. Cfpc. No eviuiou, ur.

CU. Kxplain the caui»e.

Capt. Copt. The cnuse is too plain — Tour
uakiiig love tu tltuL liuly, wlui went out tJiere this
moment

Clf- Ihnt Indy ! nol I, upon my honour, sir,

Capt. Cope. No shofllin^, »ir — draw

CU. Sir, I can repc-l un iujury like ttiiii— but
^our quarrel i^ ^roundle^s — and, sir, if ever I
uiiidc love lo that Inrly, I Mill luy mv l>nsum nn-
ked to your swurd. Itiat laily ! — 1 re&igii all aiaii-
ner or pretcnw'in tfj Iht —

Capl. Cape. You rc»gii ber, iif?

Ck. Liitircly.

Capt. Cape. Tlicn I am pa<-i<ieH.

[Puf up his SKord.

Cie. l.'iMiu my word, sir, 1 never so uiucli n»
thou^t u( the lady.

Enter Mr Ha&low.

Mr Uar. So, sir! fine duii^ ^ou bare bceo
carryiiifr on here ■' -

CU. Sr !

Mr Har. Vou have been attcmptitiK rny wife,
I fmd

CU. t'piin my word, Mr Harlow-

Mr Har. Vuu huvu heliaved in « vcrv hnse
nuuiner, and 1 iiiust upuu satufiiction ; druu,
air—

C/p, Tliis 15 the Binuigc^sc nrdtknt ! — I nssure
YOU, air--unly give nie l«nvp-

Mr Bar, 1 will out give you leave—^l in-

Capt. Cape. XAv» nay, Mr Harltw— this iv
nctlhrr time nr pinnr — «iid bi*9idRS hear Um
ecdileumi; 1 Iwve been oTcr-haAty, aitd be ha*
sutistird oie — only hear him —

.Ur tinr. Sir, I will beltcte my own wife-
come on, sir.

CV«. I aHUTc you, Mr Harlow. 1 came ioto
this hnuK upon bonoomblc principles — ioducsd*
sir, by my re^urri for Miss Uarlow.

Copt. Cape. For Mi»» Ilurlow ' — vnnas^drawt

CU. Again! this is duwnii^ht iTiadaeas; two
upon me at once ! you will murder rac belweei
you.

Mr Har, There ta one too many upon fuo^
sure ctioujtli ; sud so, captain, put up.

Capt. Cape. Kesigu your prvicuuuinft to Mm
Harlow.

CU. Itesign Mts5 Harlow! not for the oai-
vcr»e I in ber caoae I can be as rendy as tay
bravo of ye all. [Dravt Au ann-

Mr Har. For Heaven's sake ? Captain (^ape!
do inudemte youratmer— tliisis ncitlier itmew
pl«_'e — t ha*c becu too nish myself — I bc^ wa
will be pflcified — [We putt it/*.]— Mr Cterunaai^
sheatfa your sword.

CU. \ obey, sir.

Mr Har. IJaptain Cape, how can you?
promised me you would let thiojc:* take '
courw ; if rav sister will marry Uk geod
how i» he to tilame ?

Capt. Cape. \ cry well, sir; I have done; d»
is a worthless woman, that's all.

CU. A w(»rthlc» wiHnun, lir I

Copt. Cape. Ay; worthlcas

CU. Dainimiion! dtnw, sir!

Mr Har. Nay, nny, MrClerimont, you arrim
worm; and iIhtp's h gentleiuaa oumiug — lim >*
your uncle, L supposed

C/r. It ii.

£ii/er Ma Hcartwili..

jifr Har. Ill wave alt disputes now, thai 1
may coitcltide my Msier'* mamnee. {Audi.

i'U Mr Heaitwell, sir — Mr Harlnw. sir

Heart. My nephew has iitformed tor, ^' ^
the hr^^our VdU liavc done hiiD, aod I aoicwe
to (live niv coo»eui.

Mr Har. I tlinuj;ht it neco^wrv, sir, » la«
the advice of .Mr Cl(Ttiii')itt\ rriciul% m be is*^-
ry youiif!, and uiy dialer not very luuidaaiae.

CU, She i% an anj^cl, sir!

Heart. I'aticiicc. Charlfs. palirnrr. M» i*-
phew'» estate uiti provide for lit(i rldfst U>a;
and u|>i>n ihtt yoimevr branches of his namisi^
I mean lo settle mv t'onune.

Mr Har. Gencniu&ly spoken, «r; uai •»
Uiere i^ tiu ucouinn for delnv^wbo waits ttat'
IcII ihe Indies tliev arc »vaiiljii<:

Htart, I have ever luvcd my neplicir, w4
bincc be trIU me he has mnde a goud dtuxt, •
sliall be glad to see bin happy.

Hub PHY.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

99%v

I Capt. C4IP& But, sir, let idc tell you. tbot your
' nephew hw used me very hascly, wwl, lir-

I

I

I
I

k

jilr Har. Nay* nnVt capUim, thft >« vrrunt;,
now ; every thiof; wa« settkd between ua lu tlic
other roum; recollect yottraelf; dus 1 btf; yvu
wiU — Uh, here come die ladtes.

Enter Mrs and Miss Uarlow.

Afui Har. Now, bmct, you shall lee I have
coni)jlete(l my confjup*i

CU. Now, ihoii, iMtn happy indee<l ; rhy luvp-
1y, churmiiiK bride, tl)ii^ let inr liiiiitch you to iiiv
henrt, aiid thus, and lbu<i — \Kmbraces Mh6 IUr-

ir Hsr. Zoom ! Before my face ! — [Paihing

etc rnthee, induJ|^ ray tnuisporl; my life,

way oofgel !

Mr Har. I dcMro you will dcMst, sir —

Cie. Nay, nmy ; pnthec, be qutt;t — my charm-

itift cbartDMif; M^ife f

Atr Har. That lady ii not your wife—

CJe. Haw! uiywifc! out tny wife! ecstacy

■nd bli» !

Mr Har. Coiae» come, lir ■ ■ this is too

Cit. lift, ha \ Vou are very plea.4ant, bir.

Mir Har. Zoout ! sir, no tnlljng; tliat lady \%
■Bf M-ife.

CU. Sir !

Mr Har. 1 «iy, sir, that tody Is mv wife \

Capt. Cape. Ha, hii ! I «ec througih thi!« — it U
• corneily of crmrsi, 1 hclicvc ! [^^f •

Heart. Wliat diici aU thU mean?

CU. Your wife, sir!

Mr Hut. Yes, luy wife; and there U my sift-
ler, if vou pleaic to take her.

Ctf'. Sir!

Jlfr Har. Sir, this i» the Iqdy whom you have
desired in marriagp.

CU-. yf\yo, I, fir ? I beff vour pardon ; that la-
df I look III he ynur wife — [Pointing I o '^Xin^
]((«.] — and tliot lady— [i'oin/in^ to Mrs Uah.J
^1 toiA to be vour sister.

Capt.Cupt. i„ h ha!
Mrt Uttr. \ • '

Mita Har. Lijrd ! lord ! hare I beori made a
/ool of all tins time ! func& ! torture ! tnunlcr !

C-apt. Cape. Ua, ha ! my Indy fair m taken id,
. I tfamk.

Mrt Har, Sitter, the flten don't see with my
I ^jvt — ha, Im !

] Capt. Cape. Ua, ba ! the gentleman ts no dan-
L skr, uiadui),

Mrt Har. This is a complete conquest my sis-

rlwa mada

Min Har, I can't bear thi«! Mr, 1 desire I
■y not be made a jest of; did oot you •' -licit

!? importunet me?

Cie. For your iniereat in tliat ladv, niuilam,
1 1 look for Miu Harlow ; i beg your par^

don if I am mistaken ; I hope tiiere ii no hum
done.

Mia Har. Yea, »ir, but I here it hnrm d<Htc;
1 Bill mude spori of — exposed to dmuon — Oh!,
I caunnt l*ar this — I cjuiiiol bear it — [Cfin.

Mrt Uar, Don't cry, wster — some face* pre-,
srr^e the blouiu luug«r than oiliaris lou knuwi-^.
lb. ha!

Capt. Cape. Loll tolf loll !

Heart, 1 dnn't underhand all thi»; ii that la-
dy your wife, sir?

Mr Har. She is, sir.

Heart. And pray, nephew, you took tltat lady
fur Mr Harlow '» sister, 1 suppoM! .'

(Vc I did, sir. I beg pnrdon for tlic trouble
1 have given ; 1 oni in »UL-h Ciinfuaioit, I i'an
hardly

Heart. Well, well, the thin^ is cleared up, and
Lhcre is no harm duiir; btit you >huuld have
known what urouiid you went upou--tia, he! I
can'r help lautchinfc, neither.

Mr H'lr, Why. faith, nor I ; hn, ha !

Cte. Since mutters have turned so unexpect-
edly, [ bete pardon for my luiatakei and. ^lir, I
take my Icatt. {Gtuiig,

Miu Har. .'\nd will you tieat me in this man-
ner, air? Will yyu draw me icitu such a scrape,
and nut

CU. Madam, that g^cntleman would cut my

throat hid claim i<* prior to mine and, I

dare uy, lie will he very jtlail to be reocMM-tk'd,
madam.

Mist Hnr, You are a ba<>e man, then, and I
reject you ; captain <Ja)x:, 1 sec m^ errur, Mr, and
I resign mjwe\\ to you.

Capt. Cape. No, madnm, I Ijefc to he excused t
I have been n dangler too long ; 1 ouuht to tiave
been a brisker lover ; [ ntiaU endeavour to Mir-
vivp it, madam— I won't do niywlf a mischief —
and [ have my answer — I am vS, madatii — lull
toll lull !

Jlff-s Har. Ha, ha ! I told you this, my dair '
Bister

Ctf. Madam, I dare sny ihe gentleman will
thiiik Iwtlcr of it: -Mr lliirlow, I lun sorry fur nil
this oonfusiun, and 1 hf^ piirdun of the whole
company for my mistake — Mrs llartow, I wish
jnu all happiness, madam — angelic creature 1
what a niitlurlune to Iom: iicr !

{Bovt, and rrit,

Capt. Copt. And 1 will fnllow his c\nriipie;
MiM llurlow, I wi^h you all h«ppiiiess— ~uiii:ehc
creature ! what a misfort-me to lose her '. upiMi
rot soul, I lliiuk you a oiost udinimble jilt, iimt
an tiow you iiuy ^u, and hen nil your vireioity in
the mouimtins— loll toll Inll I [tlrit Capt. Capc

Mum Har. OU ! oh ! I can t bear to be treat-
ed ill tht^ inaiuirr ! I'll go and hide myself from
the worlil for ever — Oh! oh! the mni arc all
«avMt!es, hftrhannns, montirrs, and I hate the
whole iex— Oh ! oh I^CVici bilterly]

lExU JUitt EUr.

fide

BRITISH DRAMA.

C&firKPHY.

MnHar. MydearnsterfWilblNrlMutf wd
her conquests, ba, ha !

Har. Ha, ha! very whimncal and ridico-
looB ■ ■

Heart. ^, my nephew n tqviij^I am wurrj
for this Mene of erron, and I hope joa will as-
cribe the whole to his iDexporienoe.

Mr Har. I oertatoly shall, sir.

Mn Har, I cautioned mj sister MffidentlT
about thiv matter; but nnitj got the belter of

ber, and leans her now a whimsical '"■^■nfi^ of

foUj and afiectatioa.

Id vain the hded Toast ber mirror tries.
And ooonts the cfoel murders vX her ms ;
For Ridicule, sly peeping </er her heaij.
Will point €ut roses and the lilies dead ;
And whUe, food toal I she weaves her mjrtle

chain,
She proves a nlgect of the oomic strain.

I T

THE

CITIZEN,

BT

MURPHV.

DRAMATIS PERSONiE.

MEN,
Old Pbh-pot, the Citurn,
YooG pH[LPOT, hU son.
SiK Jaspcb ^ ii.Dino, J'alher to Misu.

YorHO WiLDlKGf his aoH.

Br*CFOKT, in iatt with Maru.
DxrPEB, a ttoi-k-itroker.
Ql'Illdiiive, ckrk Iq Oi.d Puilpot.

WOMEN.

Maku, attached to Bhaufort.
CoRtAM, a lady of' pleoturc.

Scene— Londoiu

ACT t

SCENE 1, — A room in Sir jASPtR Wjjlih^o's
hou$e.

TouKO WiLBiso, BtArpotT, and Will fol-
toniHg.

WiU Ha, ha ! my dear neaiifnrt ! A fiery
Toune tVUow like you, iiMrltetl doM'n into « 5i^l>-
imt, love-sick duiicltr at'ler a kii;ti heel, a »»<JI-
turnerf aiicte, aiid a tKort petiiroui !

lf<-««. Pnilicc, Wilding, ilon't laugh at nw —
MariaS rtiaruM

ll'i/tf. Marii't charmt! and so now you wnulil
fain icniw nmituii in hur |ini>M>, and have mf
hfHra to yuur raptures about my own si<it4!r7 I la,
ha! poor Beaufort !-~—l» mv Mstcr at home,
Will?

Wt/i She it., sir.

H't/J. How Ina^ has my father been ^uc out?
. WttL Thifl honr, ^ir.

ViU. V«rr]r well. IVay, give Mr ikaufort'a

compliment* to my sMer, and he U come to
wait upon her. [Crit Wili^] You will he gbd
to *ee licr, I sup|H»e, C'harle* ?

Beau. I lire but io her pretcnrc !

WiUi. Lire hut io her pretence ! How the de-
til i-ould tliu youDK ba|;j^L- raise thi* riut in your
heart } Tis more Uma Iwr broUier could ever do
with any ct' htr tcx.

Btau. Nay, vou have no reAHXi to complaiii;
you arc come up to town, jiosi-haste, to marry a
vfpaltliy citizen'* daughter, who only saw you last
•icaMin at l'uiibrid|^^ and hua bcea langui&lung
iVrf' vou ever «umx.

Wild. 'Ti>> more than I dn for hnr ; and, to
tell yuii the tnitli, more than I bcheve %he doca
lor mc r This is a oiatch of prudcnrp, man ! bar-
CHtri and talc ! My rcTcrtma dud athI iIm- old put
of Mcitif^iifinUlted tlie huaioesa at Lloyd's cooM-
huiiM* by inch '^f caiullc — a mere tmoaferring of
property ! — *■ Clivo your son to my daughter, and
■ 1 will give my dnu];htcr to your lou,' 'I'bat's '■

BRITISH DKAMA.

[>Iult»BY.

Iihn Idtt yaaforn fool, and so let ibe irfuml
come from hiaiself.

Afariit. But huw ? liovt, my dear brother ?
Tell me bow ?

WUd. Why, ymi haw Bwn a p'"^. witli mc,
wlwre n tnnti prrtcnds lo be a duwiiri^hl coun-
try onf, in order to rule n wife, nnd huvf a wife ?

Mitria. Very well. What then? what tlit-n ?
CHi ! I have it ; I uudcrstBiid you : lay no ninre ;
*ti9 charming! I like It of all thines! Ill du it, I
will ; and I will so pincuo him, ih:it he shan't
liiiow vrliaL to niftke of me. lie shall lie a very
tond-eitter to inc ! the "lOur, the s^cel, the hitter,
}ic shiill swallow all, and all shnll work upon him
alike for my diversion. Soy nothing of tt ; *ii» all
amung ourielvc*; but I won't be cruel. I hhte
fit-nature; and then, who knows but t muy like
h'mit

BeoM. >!j dear Mario, don^ talk of Ukitig
hini.

Maria. Oh! now you are bef^ninf; i^in.

[Srn^f Voi AmanQ, fife, and exit.

Brau. "Sdcflth, Wilding, i shall never be yoar
brother-in-law at this rat« !

HVrf. Fsha, follow mc : don't be apprelienfire.
Ill give her farther inb(rurtiL*nfs and ahr will
exemte them, I warrant you: the ofd fellow '&
dauKbter sliall b« mine, and the son muy go shift
for himself cUewbere.

SCENE H. — A room in Old PatLPor's haute.
£NferOLi>PiiiM>OT, DAPncR, andQoiLLitatvi:.

Ofd Phil. Quildrivc, have ihoM: dotlan been
tent to the bank, a» 1 ordered t

Quiil. Tlicy luive, ^ir.

Otii Phit. Very well. Mr Dapper, I am not
fimd of writing any thing of laic; biit at yonr
rvqueht

Dtip. You know I wodd not offer yon a bod
poUcy.

Old Phil. I Miere it Weil, «tep whh me to
my cloiscc, and I will look at your puHcy. How
mnrh do you wont upon it*

Tiap. 'Ilirce lliuuMrtd : you bad belter take
the whole; ll)ere nre rt-ry gtwKl onmo upon it.

Oid Phil Well, well, step with me, mid 111
[alL to you. Quilldrive, step with thr>M' bifUfor
acceptance. This way, Mr Dapper, ihm way.

[Kieudf.

QhUL a miserly old rascal ! diggine, dif^itig
money out of the very hearts of maiikind ; con-
Mantty srrapin5 tether, at>d yet ircmblint; with
aofiety l>tr fear of coming to want. A caniine,
old hypocrite! and yet under liis veil of iwnclity
he hiw n tiouorish looih left — hitming lo tbt
. Diber end o^ the town «lyly every evening; nnd
there he has bis solitary plouuret in ttolcs and
corners.

GeoROE PniLi-oT, peqiing in.
G. fhit. Hist, liiri ! QuIILdrivti !

Quilt Ha,MrGenf»e1

O Phil, in S<]iiare-toe9 at home f

Quill. He is.

O. Phil, Has be asked for me?

Quid. He bu.

G. Phil. [ WalkM in on tip-^oe.] Doa ht kncm
t did not li(.< nt hnnic?

Quill. No ; 1 sunk that upon him.

G. Phil. Well done ! I'll jcive you • thekt
gHdii)}: to carrr you tn Dtilw ich of a ftanrfay —
Damnuticm ! l)p all nit;bt, ftripped of nirw hvn
dred poumh ; pretty well for one rui:hi ! Pi'joed,
repiniicd, flammed, and rapotlwl every deal I—
Old br^'btiirtl shall pay nil — Is fnriy-^even good?
No — li^iy good ? No, no— to the end of xhr ^•ha]^
ler. Cruel luck! Damn mc. 'lis life lYwwtb!—
this is life! Sdcaih, 1 hear him imninf; ! [Abb
uff\ and peeyrt]— -iw, all's safe— 1 must out (k
cau'Hit in these clothes, Quilldrive.

Quiff. How came it ynu did not leave Ifaem K
Madam Corinna's, »a tou ^ocrally do ?

G. Phil. I wu nfruifl of being too late for
Old S([ll]u■f^-toes : and sa F whtpt mto a backoey-
coach, and drove with the wimtows op, as if I
wa» afraid of a btmwbeiliC Pretty clothca, an*!
thev?

Qmtl. Ah ! sir

G. Phil. Reach me one of lay oieefannir t*f-
frnrks — iKi — *tny — ^"ti* in the nexx room, anil it'

Quill. \c\ sir.

G. Phil. Ill rtm and aJip it on in a twiolile.

[Eiit.

Qaill. Mernron usf what a life Aim hrml!
Old Cwtger within here will arrnpe tiq:r(hrr Ar
bini, and the moment yonnp mnMer rome^ to|K»'
9Cs«oii. ' III got, ill gt>n<,* 1 warmnt mv. a hui
card I have to play between thent tMj«b ; dr«dlpn|
for the old man, and pimp(t>g for iJic v.'mugoot.
The faliier i» a rraervmr of riclies, end the sea a
a fountain to play it all away m vamifv and (tHh*

Re-tnter GLtmct PniLitrr.

C. PM. Now Fin eqnipfie*) for itw o<y-
Ottmn the cily !— I wish the pMn^brt wodd *t

fire tri it aptio 1 bate to be bmna* As

hoof here aninn^ ihrm — Here cmacs fitbft—

no 'lis Dapper QuUldri^e, I'll ptt rm

the celdlnE.

QailL I'hank you, sir. [J

Knitr'DAVtta.

Dap. Wbv, yon look like a (4enl, G«orte.

G. Phi. ^es; I lm»e be<*ii u^» qM nie*t, k>»t
all uiy mitncy, and I'm :ifruid I must itiwih ^
it.

Dftp. Smn»b for it what Hbtc I In j^

inin tbc secret f<irf have not I i^tmni **n "
trade upi>ii yonr own a^Tuinit— — nnd *»ii ^*^

the sweets of it, llow much do yon uwca

the cily I

1

MCKPBT.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

SOT

I

I

I

O. Phil. Ai Irast twMity Uinusaml.

Dnp. P»h, thnt's notlting ! Qriog it up to fifty
or «ixiv thoiiHttiiH, and thrn ^ive tlietn a gond

crath Hi once 1 have iu&urt.-d tlic «liip for

jrou.

O. PhiL H«ve you ?

D<tp. The poticv'a full; I havcjurt touched
jour rather for (he Inst dtree lliuu«iii(l.

O. Phil. Excellent ! Arc lh« KO'jd^ rr-Unded ?

Dap. Kvcrr hnte 1 have had ih<.'ni up to

towT, atwl sold tlietn all to a packer Ibr you.

G. Phii. Bmvo! and the ship i» loaded witli
rubbnh, I suppn^r! ^

Dti/t, Yca ; and i* now prnrccdini; on the vnv-
««e.

O. Pkii, Very well — witl iii-morruw, or noit
day, we shall lienr itf )i«t hi-intr lent iipttti the
Goodwin. Of sunk between the Nircdles ?

Dap. Certainlv.

O. Phil. Adimnihle ! ntid then wc shall coroe
upon Hvt ttlHlcrwritcra?

iXr/i, Direettv.

G. Phii. My 'dear Dapper !

\T.mhrares hiai.

Dmp, Yea; I do a d^wn e\-er"ryenr. How do
jau think t ra» lise as I dti, otli>^rwi-<- ?

O. PhiL Very true; &ball yuu be at (tie club
•fter *Chaiu;e ?

Dap. Without fail.

G. Phil. That"!, riffht ! it will he a Tull meet-
iv% : we shall have Not Hij^I (he dry-«ialUT.
tiiere, and Bub Keptile the chaiiuohroWer, mid
Sobcrwdes the bonker— we slinll all be ihcjc.
Wc ifaiU hwre deep dotnp.

Dap. Ye», ye*. Well, n 500H morning; I must
go Daw, pnd till up a \xil\cy for a aliip that has
beeo ItrtI iheie three tiny*.

G. PhU. Aly dear Dnppcr ! thou art the best
of frieiHh.

Dup. Ay, I'll »tand by you — It will be time
CDOiigh for^uu to break, when you wc your fa-
riwr near ht« end; then pve them u saiti«N ; put
joonelf at the Itrad of hii turtiiu«, and bc^in the
world acain — Good tnonnuf*. [Krit Dap.

G. Phtl. Dapper, adieu } — Who now, in my
BttuattOD, WDuli) eiiTy any of ynur preat fntks ai
tJie court-end? a lord lia* nothing to depend up-
on but his i-staie He can't 9|:>end ynu u

handred thou>And pounds nf orhrr people) tao-
-o«, B'l — I hiifl nithcr bo a little bobwig ciu-

lA go»d credit, than a coinmissinner of ibe
-Coa)mi<)tioner ] — Tlic king has not ao
food m thbif in hm p(u as a tmmmi^^iun of bank
rapcey— Doa't wc Uf ihem nil wiili their coun-
■y-Mta at nogiidon, and at Kecitish-town, and
mt \'»wingtna-butt«, and ut Islington^ with their
IstlJr flying Mercuries, tipt on ihA top of the
hooM, iheir Apultoa. their Vemiirca, and their
iCTrfen liereule^'s in tlie garden ; niid themwlres
ajuine before Uie door, with pipe* in their mouths,
*r«itin^ for a good i^fcestion— Zooms ! here comes
old dad. Now for a few dry niikxims of Icft-liaiid
Vot. III.

ed wthdoiD, to prove mywif a Acoundrel in lenti-
tnent, and pan in liis eyes for a hopeful young
man, likely to do welt in ilic world.

Enter Olh Prilpot.

0/J PhiL Twelve times twelve is U4.
G. Phtl. Til attack hini in tiihowii way — Com*]
mKMoii at iwo and a haif per cent — hum !

Old Phil, Inhere he i^ intent upon buaiuMs I I
wlwi, plcitliliiig. (mirgt!? '

O. Phil, i'hinking a little of the maia chaacc^ |
sir.

Old Phil. Tliat's right : it is a wide world,
Oeor^e.

G. Phil. Yes, sir; hot voa instructed vm
ewrly in rlie nidiment<i of trade.

Old Phil. Ay, uy ! I insulled good principles ,
into (ht-e.

G. Phil. So yon did, fir— Principnl and inte-
rest a all I cveVheurd fniiii him [Atitle.]. I slialt
Mi'Tcr fon»ct the siory you recommcDded to my
carlicut notice, sir.

Oltl PhiL What was that, George f It if ijait*
out of my head.

G. PhiL It intimated, air, Irow Mr TTiotua*
luklf itr' L<tiidur., tULTchnnt, was cast away, and
MTM afterwnrd^ protected by a yuung lady, who
firew in love with him, and h«iw he afterwards
b,ir{!aiti«-<l wtth a planter to sell her for a slave.

Old Phil. Ay, ay, [ Laughs.] I rwollect it now,

G- Phtl. Aj\d whfo she pleaded being with
child liy him, he was no otherwi<« moved tliua
to raise his pnce, and make her turn (o better
account.

Old Phtl. [Btirttt into a lau^h.j I rememtirr
i( — ha, ha f tlicrc was the very spirit of trade!
ny, ay; I in, ha !

G. Phil. 'ITiat was calculation for you ■ '

0!J Phil. Ay, ay !

G. Phil. The Rulenf Thrne — If one pres ma
SA much, what will two girc mcl

Old Phil. Ay, ay ! [Uught.

G. Phil. That was a hit, air !

tnd Ph,{. Ay. ay!

G. Phil. 'Iliat was having his wtts about him.

Old Phil. Ay, ay ! it is a lcsv>n for all young
men. It was a hit indeed, ha, ha f

(Both htiehi

G. Phil. What an old netro it is ! [A$itle.

Old PhiL Thou art a son af^er my own heart,
George.

O. PhiL Trade must be minded— A pcnnj
wred, is a penny got - -

Old Phil Ay, ay !

AShakfi hit head, and looks running,
e that hath money io hit pun^
won't want a head on his flwuldei^
Old PhiL Av, ay!

G PhiL Ilotiie was not built in a day— For-
tunes are made by dctcrees — Pains logct^ care to
keep, and fear to lose

2P

«9e

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Mdrphv.

Oid PhU. Ay. a; 1

O. Phil, lie diat lies ia bcd| his estnte feels
it

Old Phil. Ay, uy ; rhe ?(»ml boy !

G. P/iit. Tlic old cuniudi^ciMt [Antie.l tliinks
notliiiti: menu that briiig,s in on honcnt peony.

Old PhU. The s<>txl buy ! Gcnf^c, I bttve grrai
hopes ol' tiiec.

G.Phil. lltRDkft tu your ctample; you h»ve
muftht n>c w be cautious in tins wiHc world —
Ijivc your rwigUUmr, but don't putl iluvin ytiur

f PhU. I profess it i» a viwr snjint; 1 ncviT
hmrd it brfore : it is a wibc haying; and stions
how cuiJtiou<) we ■himlil be of lou much couti-
denrt in tViL-nd^hi^i.

C. Phil \ crs true.

014 PhtL l-'nuiulship baa nothing to do with
trude.

O. Phil. It only draws a mati in tu lend mo-
ney.

Old PhiL Ay, oy^ —

G. PhU. rhere was your neigltbdm*!* son, Dick
Wiirtby. wIm vran atwHva iTaniiiuug tiis head
wiih (irerk. nnd Ijttin nt school ; he wniilcd tu
borruw ul* me Uu! other day; but I was too cun-

OU Phil. Ay, ay — Let hira draw bills of c\-
chanitc in Urtf«k and Latin, and Me where he
will Oft a pouFKl stcriine tor thini.

G. PhU. iit> 1 told hint — I weal to liiiu to hit.
garrt-t in titc Minora^; and there 1 fuiind bltu in
all bti misery ! and a tiiic »ctne it v,ns — Thrrc
vnu his wife in a comer of lh«- rtjom, af a witsh-
iDf; tub, lip In tW i-lbows in muh ; n auhrurv
)Xtrk'9tcak ivda itfin^tinif by a pnck-ilinmd hcfurc
n melancholy fire; hini*elf wared hT a ibtvc
legged tnhio, writing a {Kimpiilct luiaini^t rhe Ofii-
uiuii Mar; n i-hild upon ln« led kiirc, hiti rifihi
leg cinployt'd in rurking a cnidle wirtt u hrat-
lin|> ill it. — And vi thfiu vas Hukiiip^s enough
for llwin all — Ui» «ite riibhine iiwuy, [Miiuirkt
a wothtm ofiiftH :^ and he writtiu* mi. ' \\w
' kint! "i Pru^in shidt have no more tob'^idie*-

* — Saxony »liull tw indenuiitied He feban'l

' have a fot*t in Silri^in.' 'I'hrre i& ■ 4»(^ i little
biiby ! [Tnfhe rhi'd on hit knee.] — rltcn hv ruck-
C'l ilie iTBi|[i-, huhh ho! liu!«liho! — thnu twi-i-
eil the ghakci* [Snaim Uu Jifigert.] husli liu !
* . tie Hus*win» sitall Iwtc (Vu«ia/ ( IVrUn.]
Th» wife [Wa^hfM and tin^i.] lie — • There\ n
' drwr.* riound |*neft the gnsken acnin — [Suapi
' hi*fi'ifieri ;] ' and Canada must be restored,'
[irnVf«.J— And so you ba»e a picture of the
nhole famiU',

I/IJ Phii Ha, ha ! What becomes of his
Crerk and Latin now? Fine words butter no
por*tiip»— Ho had iu> uiuney from you, I suppose,

G. PhiU Oh! do; Cbaniy bct;ios «t homr,
My* I.

Old Phil. And it was wt«ly iwid — I have aa
excellent ftuyine, when any roan wants to borrow
nf nie — I am n-ady with my joke — ' A fool rad
* his money are iiouii parltrd — ha, ha lia I

G. i'hil. Lin, ha Ad old tktn-Oint !

[jMidf.

Old PhU. Av, ay— a fool and his money arc
aonii parted ha, ho, ha !

G. PhU. Now, if I can wrin^ a handaooic som
nut of him, it will prove the truth of what be
Miyi. [vliiWf.] Ana yet trudc has its inonnTcoi-
encen Great houses uopping: paytncsit I

Old P/iit. Hvy—v,hml you loak dngraed
——Nothing of timt Mtrt lus Jiappcued to il»,
! hiipt ?

G. PhU. A arcat house nt Cadiz— Don Joho
de Alvaroda — The Spaoiih galleons not making
f\\ucii returns— and so my bills are come bai ~

Old PhiL Ay !— [Shaket hiM

G. Phil. I have, indeed, n rrniittaiice

Messina. Tliat voyugc yit-lda inc thirty per ccob
pnitit— but this blow coinioi; upon me

Old PhiL Why, this i» mducky how madi

iiioiify i

G. PhU. Tin ee-and-twcnty hundred.

Old Phil. Oeoqtf , too many rgva in one bl^
ket ! I'Jl tell ihcc, tieorj'e; I expect sir Jesprr
Wjidinj; here presently in rnuclude the Ixwiii irf'
marrince I have on f.xir for thtc: tlicii hu*b'lim
up ; tay uulhiii'^ uf it ; nnd in n dnv or mo yx
pnv lhi-&e bills ttilii his duuelitc^r's pi(>rtioiL

G. PhU. The old rt-tiLie [Amde.] ! 'Hat wdloi-

verdv; I »h»ll be blown upttn Cbaiifte JA-

varud» will pay in time — He has opcuul hid af*
fair> — }fe appears a good toitn.

Old PhU. Doe> he ?

G. Phil, A (:reat fortune leA ! will |>ay i»
liinc. but I must crnck before that.

Old PhU. It is unlucky ! a good man jno m;
lie is ?

G. PhtK Nohody better.

Old PhU. Let Ric see Suppose I In^

this uioney i

G. Phil Ah, sir I

Old Phil. Haw much is your remitUDOe ftiw
Mek»iiu?

G. Phil. Seven hundred anil t"»fty,

Oid Phil. Then you want liftccn hundred uJ
fifty?

G. Phil. Kxactly.

Old PhiL Dun Alvamk is a good ino^ ;•*
sav?

G. PhiL Yes sir.

Old PhiL 1 will venture to lend the inooft->
yoi> must allow roe commission upon tboM Ub
tor inkiii)! (hem up for honour of the drawer*

G PhU. Aereed.

Old PhiL Lawful iatarest, while I an wtt'
mv niiiney t

G. PhiL I ■'uhscnljc.

Old PhiL A power of Ktoniey to rrceift *

f Ml

Murphy.]

BRITISH DRAMA

tnonicft from Atvanida, when he makes a poj-
m ciii f

G. Pkil. You shall have it.

Old PhU. Your uwn Imnd }

O. PAiL To be sutv.

Oiirf i*Aii. Go and ^cc mo o check — You Khali
iiare n draught on Uic bank.

G. PAiL Yes, sir. [filling.

OitI PHit. But ttnv— I hnd fnf^)t— .1 inii»i m-H
out lor this; stocktt are under /xtr. Voii niu$i
pav the difference.

'G. PhtL Was ever such a Icccb ! [Asidt.] B«
all iiiriuii, air.

Old Phil. Step mwi flftt me « dieck.

G. PHit, A luul and hi* monc; nrc sooit pnrt-

ed. [Auiic.

{Rxil V*. rnti.POT.

Otd PAiY. W hot with cuinmi'iMuii, lauful iiiler-
ctt. and bis puving the ditltience ni the Ktnrkx,
which are higher now thutt Mhcn I boucht in,
this will be no bad inuriiini;'<i nnrk : nnil tlieii in
the evening I shnJI be in the riire<>t ftptrits fur
this new adventure I urn rccomTnenrte'l lo — I^t
xan see — what i» the Indv'H iiaini^ * yPakft a Irt-
tcr omt.^ Corinnn! ay. aVi by the dest-riptiiin,
she is m b«le of good^: I shall be in rare ifpiric*;.
Ay, this is the wny. In indal;^ one's pa-t^imts and
j<et conceal tbetnt and to mind oirA hu«tnr«« in
zbe eily, here, u>> if one had no ^Hisniains al nU ; [
Icmg for U»e evening, inethutks — Body o' me, I
young mun still !

Enter QvtLLDRiVE.

QmlL Sir Jasper Wildit^ sir, ami lui dauf^li-
ter.

otd Phil I Bin at home.

Knter Sia Ja^feii and MAitit. — Sin Jasi'lii,
dr€Msed ai a /(ii-&ifntfr, and naming.

Old Phil, Sir Jasper, your very humble sct^
rouL

S*r is*. Master Philpoc, I bo glod to »c ye ; I
■flkf indeed.

Old PkiL 'l*be tike comphroent to you, sir Jo^
per. Miss Marin, I kiM your fair band.

Afvrio. iiir, yiiur must obedient.

Sir Jtu. Ay, ay, I ha' brought un to zee you ~~
Vlirrtt's my pri ; I ben't ashumed of my Rirl.

Mariu. TlMt** more than I can say of uiy fa-
ther ; liu^iy, thete people are as much sminf;ers
Co deconiro as my old gentleman, othenriv thit
' vtail from a lady to meet her luver wnuld have
•a odd a|>t>earaoc* ■■ ihounh but lut« u board
iii^ whoni girl, I know enough of the world fur
dw. [Atidf.

POld PhU. Truly, she is a bloomini; youne la-
^, sir Jasper, aitd I verily shall like to take on
inccroc in her.

. Sir Jm. 1 ha* Itrought her to lec ye, and zo
jroor too may ha' her 9.s soon as he wilt

■4

Old Phil. Why. she looks three and a half
per cent. Iietter than wIk n I »a«v hor last.

Miirtu. 'rhcii, thtrc arc hopes that, in a liltle J

tiuie, 1 nhnll l>e above pur — be rates me like a I
|ritl*'ry til kpl. [Aside. j

Old Pitt Ay, ay, I duubt not, sir Jumper : :

.Miss lui!i the appearance of a ver\ senidble, di-s- \
creet young liidy ; and tn deal freely, wrtliout
(lutt. slie would not do for my son ; Cror^e h n
shrcnrd Ind, and I have often heard him declan?
no coiisirlenitian should ever prevail on hiiD id
marry n fool.

Mena. Ay, you have told me so bcf'>re, old
(£L'ntlemnit, and I have my rue from my brnihcr;
uitd if I don't Sfxtu i;i\c msMer (veor|;e a sur-
feit uf me, why, then, 1 am iKit n notable girl.

[A»iJe,

Enter Gcorox PHfipoT.

G. Phi/. A prwxJ. clever old cuff tlijn : ofter
my own heart; I thmk 1 vrill have bis dsu[;h-
ter, if 'tis only for the plcuure of bunting wjihl
him.

Sir Jat. Zoit-ln-lftw. gee u* yonr hand ; what
Tuy you f Are you ready for my girl ? ,

6. Phil. Say gmcc hs soon as you will, sir, fll i
fall to.

Sir Jit*. Well raid ; I like you ; I like uti, ma- j
Kter Phitpot; I like un; 111 tell you what, let ua
talk to her now.

Old P/nl. .\nd &n he slinll ; GcorieP, she is «
bale of K»od» ; speak her fair now, and tlicn
you'll be in ca^b.

G. Phil. \ think I bad rather nui xptak to <
her no%v ■ — 1 Imtc s{»euking to tliese modest '
women, sir — sir, a word in nmr car; hud not I
beuer break my mind, by advertising for her iu n
newspaper }

Old Phil. Talk sense to her, George; site i«a
tiutablo ^irl ; and I'll give the draft upon tiie
bank presently.

Sir Jas. C«me alonj^ master Phtlpot; cocne
along; 1 hen't afmid of my iprl — cnme along.

[A'rtrwaf Sir Ja^pck nnd Old PniiPOT,

Maria. A pretty sort of a lover ther hnvc
found for roe. [Aside.

O. PhiL lloi* shall I «pesk my mind to tier?
She is aiUHMt a stranger to mc. [Afide.

Maria. Now, I'll moke the hidetnis thing hnte
mr. if I can. [Atide.

G. PhiL Ay, she is as sharp as a needle, t
warrant her. \A$idt.

Maria. ^Aude.] When will he begin? Ah,
vou fright! You rival, Mr Beaufort! I'll eive
Kim an aversion to me, thai'^ what I will, and so .
let him hare the trouble of brenkinL' off the
itiatcii : not a word yet — he is m a lino confu-
sion. \Lookifaolixh.\ 1 think I may as well sit
down. wr.

G. Phil Madam— I— r— I— I'll hand you a
chair, madam ; there, madam !

{Bovi anka'ardly.

BRlTfSU DRAMA.

hhria. Sir, I ibnnk ymi.
C. Vhii. I'll &it duvsii, UH>.

[J/i run/tfiiun.
itaria. Ilciglio !
G. i'AiV. ftUitatu!
Ularin. Sir!

G. i'Ai/. I ihouelit— 1 — I— did doc ;au say
lioinctliiiif;, madiuo r

Martu. Nci, Mr; iiothiiii^

C J'JtiL I btjt your purdoti, tnadnrn.

Maria. Oil, \ou are a Mveet creature !

[Aude.
G. PiU. Tb* ioe i» broke now ; I have ocguti,
Mtd 50^ L11 BO on.

[SittsUfnt, looks Jootinh, and ttealt u
ItMfk at ker,
Maria. An at^rccablc interricvr tliia !

G. PhiL Vvijt madani, do )*ou crcr go lo cun-
cerh ?

Alaria. CoitcerU ! what's that, sir i

G. PhiL A music meeting.

Maria. I hare bceti at a Quaker's meeting,
but iiei'cr »t 8 innwr-m€*etini;.

C. I'hii. Ijord, madHfii, nil the f;a_v world goes
to cjuccrts. She iintiihlr 1 I'll ta^e couraKv ; she
is duIxhIv. [/Isit/i'.] Will v "I give tnv leake tu
present you a ticket (or the Crown and Anchor,
mud iin t

Aturia. [Lookitig timpte and au/nrard.] A
tiek&l ! what is a ticket?

O". Phif. There, madam, at your service.

Mario. [Ciirtuci auhcardly.] 1 long to sec
ft hat a ticket is:

C PhiL What a csirtsey there is for the St
JauK-sV end of tlie town [ I ttatc her ; she seems
lu be an idiot [Aiide.

Maria. Here's a charmin;; ticket he has given
me. [^iif/f.l And h ihis a ticket, sir?

G. PhiL Yes, madam ; and \% tliis a ticket }
[Mimicki her atiiif.

Maria. [R/adf.] For sale, by the candh-, lite
foUowiiijj |>in,di; thirty cbestit, straw-huts; lifty
tubs cbip-hiiCs; pepper, sago, borai ; lla, ba !
such a ticket I

G. Phil, I — I — I have mailc a mistake, ma-
dam here, here is the right one.

Maria. You need not mind it, sir; I never go
to such ptnc«i.

G. Phil. No, madam? I don't know what tu
make of ber. Was you ever at Wbitc-Conduii-
hou«e?

3farjVi. lliere's a questioa \ \AtHk.\ Is that a
oohl<.'maii''> M'at ?

G. i'hii [Lahghs.'] Simpletoa! No, mitis, it

ift not a iKiblcmon's scat Lord! 'tis nt la-

Ungtoo,

Mario. Lofd Islington ! I dou't know my lord
Xdiiigton.

G. Phil. Tlte (rwn of Islington.
Maria. 1 have oot lUe honour of koowing his
lordihip.

G ■ Phil. I»lin)rton is a town,
Mana. Oh ! its a town ?

madam.

G. Phd. Yes, imidani.
i1/ariVi. 1 urn ^Ifw) of it.
G. Phil. VVImt i> she ^od of? [Atidz.

Maria. A pretty husband ray pnpa ha» cbcac
for me ! {AtnU.

G. Phil What shall I say to bef pcscf Have
you been at the burleua, mMUm ?

Maria. Where?

G. I'hii. The burlelta.

Maria. Sir, I would have you to know ihsi I
nm no «uch person. I go to burlettiu 1 I am oot
uhat \ou take luv for.

G.'Phii Muduni .

Mana. I nni cutnc uf good people, sir; and
huvc btcti properly educated, as a young girl
ou];ht tu he.

G. PhiL Wliata danuied foul aU is ! [Atidc]
Tlic buHctia is an opera, madam.

Maria. Opera, sir I 1 don't know wbal you
mean by this u»agc— to oiFruiu loe in tha
maiiiiL-r !

O. I'hiL AfTroiit! I mean quite the mnsc,
madam ; I took you for a connoisKur.

Maria Wlut, nie a conuoiaaeur, sif ! I dcwt
you won't call luc- &uch iinmc» ; 1 am tmrt I t^
icr so much as thnuftlil of Kuch a thing. S^r. I
won't be called a coiinuiaseur — I wun'i— I ngn't
— 1 won't.

[BurttS ««f a tryttf.

G. Phil. Mndnm, I meant no ui&dice. A
connuisscur is a virluow.

Maria: Don't virtuoso inc ! t am no I'irtH-
oso, sir ; I would have you to know it, [ am as
viriiwus a girl as ai>y iii £ii|:land, and [ will ar-
Tcr be a virtuoso. [Criti Htteri}.

G. Phil. But, madam, you miiitAke me quiie

Maria. [Ja a pauion, ami checking ker tnn,
and tofJtittg.] Sir, I am come of aii virtuou* peo-
ple as any in Euglnnd — My fumity nas iJ»i?s
remarkable for virtue — My mauinia was at pad
n woman as ever was bom, and mv aunt BridpC
[Soiihing.] waft a tirtuous womajH too; IM
then^'s my sister Sophy, makes as good and rifta-
ous u wile us any ut all. And su* air, doa^ciU
nic a virtuoso. I won't be brouttht bett ta b
treated in this maaner — I won't— I awulHJ
won't: [Cria Uttah.

G.PkiL The pH*f A natural— So lUBcbtW
better. I'll uiorry her, and lock her up. [Amk.]
Madum, upou my word, you miHundertCkod on

Maria. Sir, [Drying her tettr$.'] I vm»^ k«
called connoisseur by you or any body: Aod 1
am iiu virtuoso— I would liave you to bo*
UiaL

G.Phil. Madam, connoisseur andviftuoeoV
words for a person of laatc!

Maria. I'aste ! [SMtf

G. Phtl. Yes, madam.

Maria. And did you mean to say asltf* '
am a person of taste)

MUBPHT.)

BRITISH DRAMA.f

50i

I

C. PfUt. Undoubtedly.

Maria. Sir, your n\u^t obedient humbJc scr-
rant. Oh, that't itnodicr thing. I have a tnste,
to be NUT.

C PAil. I inow you have, auulam— O yttu're
ft cursed Qinny 1 [Aatdt.

Maria. Yet. I know I have ; I cati read tole-
rably, and I bf'^ui to write a Utile.

G. PAiL ITpon my word yuu hnvc made n
p«at pro^rcM! What cjuld Old S<^uare-toe*
lucou by pauinf^ Iter upt>n me for u M^tuiibk- girt i
and what a ftM>l I was tu he afnud tu bpcak lo
lier ! I'll talk to her openly iit once. [^m</«.]
Come, sit down, miss; pnty, madam, ure yuu in-
clined lo mntrimony f

Maria: Yes, sir.

O. PhU, Are you in tore ?

Maria. Ye«, sir.

G- VKU. lliow iioturstit arc always amorous.
[Aiiie^ Horn >houId you like ine ?

itfarM. Of all thinp

G. I'hiL A pirt without ceremony. [Atide-y—
Do you lore toe }

Maria. Yr«, sir.

C. Phii. But you don't love any body else ?

JUttrw. Ye«, &ir.

O.PkiL Frank and free [JitJ^.J But not w
well »B taei

Jiiaria. YcB, nr.

C.Phil. Belter, may be }

Maria. Yc*, sir.

G. PMit. The devil yoo do ! [Jixir.] And,
perhaps, if I klunild marry ynu, I sliimld have a
daooo 10 be tnailc a

Alaria. Yes, sir !

G. PiU. The czse is cImit: Miu Maria, your
very iMHnble bervant ; you ore not I'lir my money,
1 pnauseyou.

^^^ SCtNE L— Coriska's apartment
H Snter Corinva, Tou /aitoiting her.

H Cor, As elderly f^cntlvman, did you layf
^ Tbat. Yes ; that snys he lias gut a letter for

you. inadam.

Car. OcMre the genlleinan to wnlk up siairs.

[E^it To«.] — These old fellows will becoming

nfi^r a body but tlicy pay well, and so — Ser-

Tftiil;,sir.

Enter Oi-o Philpot.

OW Phil Fair Indy, your very humble ser-
rant — Truly, a bloonung you hk girl! Mudam, I
ba^-e a Urtter here for you from Bob Foaciier,
wliom, ] prcaunie, you know.

Car. Vet, nir, I know Bub Poacher lie

n a vcfy gooii friend uf mine — [litodM to her-
m1f.}-~\ic spealu so handsomely uf you, sir, and
sars you are so much of the geutleoian, that, to

Maria. Sir!

G. Phil, I have douc, madam, that's all; and
I take my learc.

Maria. But you'll marry me?

O. Phil. No, madam, no; no such thing-——
YrHi may pmvide yourself a hubbaod dsewbcre :
I am yuur humlile servnnL

Maria. Not marry me, Mr Philpot? But yoit
muM— My papa said you muse— «id I will have
yuu.

G. PhiL There's another proof of her non-
sense ! [AtiJe.] Make yourself cusy, for I shall
hove nothing to do with you.

Maria. Not marry me, Mr Philpot? [llvntx
out in lean.] Hut I Miy ycm shall ; and I will
have u huibtind, or I'll kuow the reason why—
Von shali — you shall.

G. Phil. A pretty sort of n wife tbey intend
fur me, here

Maria. I wonder yon an'c ashamed of youraelf,
to a0runt a younj; pri in this manner. I'll go
and lell my pappa — 1 will — I will — I wilt.

[Crying bUterfy.

G. Phil. And so you may — I nave no more tn
say to you — And so, your wrvant, misa"-your
servant:

Maria, Ay t and by goles ! my brother Bob
shall fight you.

G. Phtl. What care I for your brother Bob?

JGoia*,

Alaria. Ilnw can you be w> cruel, Mr Phil-
pot? iiow can ynu — Oh! \Crir$ and struggla
tilth Aim. Esit O, Phil.] lla, ha! I hnvc car-
ried my brother's sctiemc into execution char-
inii)ely> ha, ha ! He will break offtJitf nuitrli now.
of his own arcord; ha, ha! This 19 chariirinj; !
this is Bne ! this is like a girl of spirit !

[Enl.

ACT n.

be sure, sir, I shall endeavour Co be ofroeable,
sir.

OU Phil, Really you are very a^^rcenble

You ace I am punctual to my hour. — [ lutuk* at
his iMitch.]

Cor. Iliat is a miglity pretty watch, sir.

OW PAU. Yes, madam, it is a repeater; ithflg
been in our family for a long time— this is a
mighty pretty lodging — I have twenty guineas
here, in a purse : here they ore — (Tumi them
out upon the table] — as pretty gulden rogues as
ever fair fingers played with.

Cor. I am always agreeable to any thing from
n gentleman.

Old PhiL Tl»cre arc— {^luV*.]— aoroc Iig|it>
jpiineas aiaoncst diem— I (Uways put off my light ■
griioeas in this way. You arc exceedingly wel-
come, mndam. Your fair hnnd looks «u tempt-
int:, t mu«it kifiS it — Oh ! I could eat it up— Fair
lady, your lips look so cherry— they sclually in-

aoe

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Mpkphv.

vitc Ihc touch.— [A'iMfj.] — Rrfllly, it mnkes thr
di^emicc ttf rent, jier cvui. in mit-'g cuiHtitution
— Vou havf T*u\\y a inight? [ifclty fiwit— Oh, ym
little rogue ! — 1 rould hmcitlitu yiiii with kinses —

Oil, yoM litttc> delicate, clioriuiog

[Kitta hff

Kntcr ParLPOT.

O. Phit. Gee-tioup \ Awhi < A»hi * Calloirft '
Awhi!

01 J Phil U«;? What \% all tliat! Somcbuilv
cominp !

Ctir. Si)me ruuni: rake. I fBiicy, ouhuok in.
wbcihrr my servants will or n».

Old PkiL What shall 1 do? I will tint hr «cou
for the world
room?

Cor. Dear heart !

'Cuii't ytHi hide mc in lint

DO, sir: tliese wild voanc
fellows take such libcrtien — lie ninv takf it into
hif head to to m ihore^ and titeti \*w will hr do-
tec(i?d— cet under the inltlc — Itc sliaii't reiiinin
long, whufver he is— l»erc — twre, sir ; get uudcr
bere.

Old Phil. Ay, ay; that will do — ilon't let hini
Kay long— Give inc auoiher husfr— WuiiikI» ! 1
could

Cor. Uiutli ! make haste.

OldPhtL Ay, ay: I will, fair lady— (rrc^/i.t
\mdrr the tabic, and pcept oul.\^\yo\x\ let bnit
stay loii)c.

Cor. liuah ! ulence ! you will ruin alt dae.

EnUr G. Philpot, dretud out.

G. PAH. Sharper, do youp work ! Awhj !
Awhi 1 So, my t^irl, hnw dn^t do ?

Cor. Very well, thank yon ; I did not exprct
to »ee you mi soou; I tboa^ht yuu was to be nt
die club. The servnnt& told lue vou cauic back
from the rity at two o'clock to dress : and so I
Concluded you would hare staid all nii;ht as
usual.

G. Phil. No; the run n-as agttitiM mc a^in,
and I did nut care to pursue ill fortuite. But I
am Mron^ in cash, my girl.

Cor. Are vou ?

G- Phil. Y(fS, YCs; Kuakiat in pleoty.

Ofti Phtl. [Peq'ing.}-' Ah, the ougracious !
Thf»e nrt- your haunts, ore they?

G. Phil. Yes .ves; I am aimnz in canli ; I
huic taketi in uld curmudi^i) since I uw you.

Cor. Ad how. pray ?

Old Phil. \Pttping ou/.}— Ay, as haw; let ua
liear. pray.

G. Phil. Why, ni tell yon.

OUi t'htl. [Peeping.] — Ay, let u« hear.

G. Phil, I talk''(l a world of wisdom to him.

Old PfuL .\> !

G. Phtt. Tipt him a few rascally sentimcots of
■ >«i>undrellv kind of uriidence.

OUt ihiL A> !

O. J'kiL Xbc old cumiudgeon chuckled at it.

Old Phil. Ay, ay; the old cumni^ooa! Ay,
av-

G. Plat. I!e is a sad old fellon.

Old i h'tl. Ay! go on.

G. Phil. And so I appeand to him as descr-
<-ing of the gnlUtw.'i as he in hiiDteU'.

tUd PkiL Well baid, l>oy, well aaid ; p> as.

G. PkU. And tlien h<- (nok a likine to rk —
Ay, av. ■^avs he, ay, iVicniNhip Imu nothin)£ to do
with trade; George, (liuu art a son after div owb
hcnn ; and then, as I dealt out little maiimi of
(Knury, lie f^inncd iikc a Jew broker, when br
Ills <:hested hit prindptil of ait rt^ht per c*.at
and cried. Ay, ay. that is the very spirit of irkdr
—a fool aud his money are soon paned— — (1/i-
inii-fiiiig Aim.] — And w uii he went, like ilarle*
ijuiu iu a French comedy, tickline hiru»eir niini
Kuod humour, lill nl Iiuhi T liiklul him out of if-
(aen hundred aiid odd pounds.

Old Phil. I hare a mind to rise and break lui
Ixinea — but then 1 discover inywlf-~-lie ilil!,
I'snac, lie stdl.

G. Phil. Oil. I urtdcr»tnnd trap; I talked o^a
threat hou<iL> sloppinu pavincnl. Tlie thine "■»
trucenouch; but I had no dealings with thcia.

Old Phi/. Ay.ayl

G. htul. And *o, for fear of btx-jdus^ off*
match lAiih an idiot be want5 nie lo many, lie
rent ni« the money, and chenleil me, thouclk'

Old I hit Ay, yon Imre f<rtind it out,

G f hii. So old usurer in Kngland,
Imrd-litarted in his trade, could have dealt wonf
m) til me. 1 must have (.-utumis^iim upon tbiM
UilU fur takin;; them up fur lionrMirof tbedniv«r
— v'ur bond — lawful interen while I wd autuf
the nuNiey — and the diHerctKX for aclliui; i>ui rf
the fitocks — an old, miserly, )i;ood<t'Lrr-ootkin|
skto-ninL

Old Phil. My bbrad boils to he at hiai— Gg
on : can't you tell us a link niurr ?

G. Vhil. Flin! he is an old cunnudgcno
And »o I will talk no more about hiiu~— Cone,
Rive me a kis*.

Old Phil. 1'hc young do^ bow be fasten k*
lips to her !

G. Phii. You shall go wit)) me to Ep>on acsi
Sunday.

Cor. Shall I ? that's chamiine.

G. Phil. You shall, in my chariot — I dnre.

CiT. Itui I don't like to »ce you drive.

G. Phil. But I like it ; I om a* ^ood a cov^
man as any in Etwlaad : there was mv lord w^
d'ye call him, he liept a sfBRp-coach lor his "^
drivini:; but, Jjird ! he was notliine to lOC

Cit^. No !

0. Phtl. Oh. no I I know my road-work, sr
girl; when I have my coachman's hat on — lin?
hat come home ?

Cor. It hanjr* up yonder ; but 1 don't lik< tt

G. Phil. Let me see — ny ! the »tn tfaia:

Nliud lutj when I go to Work — tWw aiy tyt*

I

I

I

I

about a frw— liandlc Uic braces — take thr off-
leuilcr bv cl>e ja» — here, you — huw have vou
curlwil thi» Itone up ? Let him out a hiik ; do,
vou bluud uf u—- whuo, eh ! Jev*iJ ! UuttDii !
'\VtH*>j,eh! Cutiic hrrr, you, sir ; liuw have you
Otnuled <iutlaw«! You knait hell tiike the bar
oi fihRfper — take biiu in two holes iJtJ — iherp's

four pceitv lilUc knots lu any iii Eoglaud

Whou. ch>

Cur*. But ran't yoti let vour machiiMUi Hrirt*^
G. i*htL Nu, uu; MX- ine iiiuuut the box. Imu-
tllc llie reins, my wrut turned down, stiuare my
dbuw), »tsiup wilh my tVwt — Oeo-iip ! Off w»:
go— ButtMU du you Maiit lu huv« us over ^ Do
yrour work, do — Awlii ! Awhi ! 'JTicrc we b<w|
awayl see how bhar\i ibey are — Gallows! Sttt-
iy up hyi — ( IVkistlei,] — llieni's a puhlir-hoiisr
— (j»£ them m mnuthlul ot' wntcr, do — And rcu'h
inc 1 dnun— driDk if ntf— (rcp-U[j I Avihi ! A«lii ?
Then; we (^», scmmblinit nil tncvtlier — Itriich K|»-
lom in Ha hour ai)d I'orLv-thrcc miiiutt^s, nil
LAmbard-strect to an cae*$licil, wc do — tliorc's
TOur work, mv ^irl ! eh ! dumn me I

OitI PhiL Mercy on me ! Wlutt a pruflicule,
debiiuclicd, young dog it i& !

Ettier\(ivvc Wilbisc.

Wild. Ila r my little Corinna—— Sir, your 9cr-
raot.

G. VhU. Your servant, Mr.

Il'i/i/. Sir, your servant.

ii. Fkit. Any comniiinds for mc, sir?

II i/<y. For fou, sir >

G. ti>il. Vesforme, iir?

Wild. No, Mr; 1 have uo commnnda tor you,
Mr.

G. Phil. What's ynur busmess?

Ifi/iJ. Uusine>>!

O. Phtt Ay. business.

H'lW. Why, very e<n»d business, I think; roy
lilllc (-"fiiiu» — my iit'e— my little

G. PhiL Is tliat yuur buAiaess? Pray, sir*—
not fo free, sir.

m/rf. Not w free !

C*. PhtL No, sir ! thai lodj belongs to mc.

H'lW. r«i you, iir ?

G. fhtt. Yei,mme.

H'lid. To you ! who are yoo ?

G. Pill. As itoud n niiin ns yoo.

H'lW. Cponmy word! who i» this fftllow, Cor-
lilllW f Some jotimeymaii tailur, 1 ^iipposc, \^liii
(JxMiW to try on the geutlcman's clotbci bclurL
br mrnrs them b<Hiir.

G. Phil. 'I'oilor ! ^\ hat 6o you mcaii by that t
Yoi> lir* ! I am oo tailor.

Wild. You shall i^ive me satisfactiou for that !

G. Vhii Kor«lmt?

Wild, ior civiiii: me the lie.

G Pht/. J did not.

IfttJ. You 4I11I, Ktr.

G. J'hil. Vuu lit; 111 bet you lire pounds I

did not^— but if you hare a miiHl far a rrolic-*
let IOC put by my swunj— now, »ir, came "n.

[/>i4i boxitifi attitude.

Wild. Why, you t>rnundrel, do yoo think I
want Vi box ? j^niw, itir, thi« moment !

G. Phil. No 1— i-iime in.

H'Hil. Dm*, iw I'll cut ynu to pieces.

G. Phil. I'll give you latiittaciioii this way.

[Pushes at him.

Wild. Draw, air, dnw! You won't druwl
There, take tliai) sirrah— «iid that — and that, yoa
ecouiKlrel.

Old Phii. Ay, ajr ; well done ; lay it on.

[Perpsout,

Wild. And there, you raxial ; ai»d iTierc.

Old Phil. Tlmnk you, ttuuik you; could not
you Iiim) in vrMir heart to lay on another for me ?

Cor. Pray, don't be Jii such a passion, sir.

Wild .\Iy dtar ('onona, don't hi- frightened;
I sluiU ntt iniintcT him.

Oid Phil. I am sut'u lu-re— lie still, Uaac^ lie

^itill — I Hill Mll'e.

Wild, rite fellow has put me out of breath. — ■
[HitM t/oftu.J — [(Jld PiiiLKOi's icatch ttriket tea
under Ihc tublc^ — Whose wuich isthm ? — [Slurts
round.] — Ilcy ! Whiit i* all this? — [Looiu under
the fao/c] — Your humble servant, mr ! turn out;
prtiy turn "ol ; you won't — then 1*11 unshi-ll you.
[T'lket awa^ the (oWr.J— Yuur very bumble scr-
tuiil, sir.

G. Phil. Zounds ! My fulbcr tlwrc all tlu»
time ! [AiidUm

Wild. I suppose yoo will icivc me lite lie, too f

Old Phil. [Still on the ground.y-^o^ sir, not
[, rruly; but tlie ^entleniaii, there, may divert
himseM' ui^Din, it he has a mind.

G. /-*/''/. No, sir. Dot I; I pass.

Old PfiiL (jcor^e, you are there, T see t

G. Phii. Yes, sir; and yuu arc tlicre, I see.

Wild. Conic, rise; who i» thii old fellow?

C'fir. riHiii iny word, I don't know — as I live
and hrcntnc, 1 dmi'i. He cantc after my maid, I
stippo»e; 111 KO and ask her — let mc run out of
the Hay, and hide myself from tliis Kene of con-
fusion ' [Rjif ('oa.

G. Phil. What an imp of bcU she is ! [Aiide.

Wtlii, Come, get up, sir; you are too old to
be bent.

Old Phd, [KitiAj.}— In troth m> I am — but
there yoa may exciase yourself again, if you
please.

G. i'hU. No more for mc, sir — 1 thank you.

Oid PhiL I tui\e made but a bad voyage of it ;
tlie ahip is sunk, and stock and block lost.

[Atidc,

Wild. 11a, lu ! Upon my soul, I cant help
laui^hjiii; at this old square toes; as for you, »r,
you have had what yuu deserved : hu, lia ! You
are a kinil *>( cull, I suppose; hn, ha! And you*
reverend dad, you must come here ivcteringa^
ter a punk: hn, Iia !

Old Phil. Oh ! George ! George !

:

504

BRITISH DRAMA.

[MURPHT.

O. Phil, Oh ! Father ! Father !
Wild. Ha, ba .' What, father and son ! And so
you have found one auoiher out, ha, ha ! Well,

J'ou maj have business; and so, geDtlcmen, I'll
eave you to yourselves.

[ExitVflLD.

G. Phil. This is too much to benr — What an
iofamous jade she ml all her conttivance ! don't
be angry with me, sir; I'll go my ways this mo-
ment, tie myself up in the matrimonial noose,
and never have any thing to do with these courses
again. [Going.

Old Phil. And, hark'e, Geot^e, tie me up in a
real noose, and turn me off as soon as vou will.

' [Exeunt,

SCF.NE I. — A room in Sia Jasper Wilding's
hvuMc.

£nf(r Beaufort, dretsrd at a latcyer, andStn
Jasper Wilding ailh a bottle and glass in
his hand.

. Beau. No more, sir Jasper; I can't drink any
more.

Sir Jas. Why, you be but a weezen-faccd
drinker, master Quagmire ; come, man, lini^
this bottle.

Beau. I beg to be excused ; you had better let
me read over the deeds to you.

Sir Jas. Zounds ! 'tis all about eut-houscs, and
messuages, and barns, and stables, and orchards,
Mid meadows, and lands, and tenements, and
woods, and undcr-woods and commnns, and
backsides. I am o' the commission for Witts,
and I know the ley ; aud so truce with your jar^
gon, Mr Quagmire.

J^K. But, sir, you don't consider, marriage is
an afiair of importance ; it is contracted between
persons, first, consenting; secondly, free from
canonical impediments; thirdly, free from civil
impediments, and can only be dissolved for ca-
nonical causes, or levitical causes. — See Leviti-
cab xviii. and xxviii. Harry VIII. chap. vii.

Sir Jas. You shall drink t'other bumper, an
70U talk of ley.

Enter a Servant.

Ser. Old Mr Philpot, sir, and his son.

&> Jas. Wounds ! that's right; the/ll take me
•ut of the hands of this lawyer here. [Exit.

Beau. Well done, Beaufort ! thus far you
nave played your part, as if you had been of the
pimplenose ^mily of Fumival's-inn.

Re-enter Sia Jasper, with Old Philpot and
O. PniLPor.

Sir Jas, Master Philpot, I be glad you are
nome : this man here has so plagued ne with tus

ley ! but Don well bare no more about it, bat
sign the papers at nnce.

Old Phil. Sir Jasper, twenty thousand pountb,
you know, is a great deal of money— -I should
not give you so much, if it was not for die bake
of your daughter's marrying my son ; so that, if
you will allow me discount for prompt payment,
I will pay the money down.

G. PhiL Sir, 1 must beg to see the young ladr
once more before I embo^ ; for to be plain, uf,
she appears to be a mere natural.

Sir JitM. I'll tell you what, youngster, I find
mv girl is a notable wench — and here, hen's xon
B^b.

Enter YouKG Wildiso.

•Sir Jus. Bob, gee us your hand 1 bare

finished the business — and zo now — here, here,
here's your vather-in-law.

Old Phil, Uf all the birds in the air, is d»t
he? [Aside.

G. Phil. He has behaved like a relation to me
already. [Aside.

Sir Jas. Go to un, mati that's your ra-

iher

Wild. Tills is the strangest accident — Sir — Sir
— [Stifling a laugh.^ I — I' — Sir — upOD my soul,
I cant' stand this. [Bursts out a laughing.

Old PhiL I deserve it f I deserve to be teugb-
ed at. [Aside.

G. Phil. lie has shown his regard to his
sister's family already. [Aside.

Sir Jas. What's the maUer, Bob? I tell you
this is vour vather-in-law — [Pulls Old Philpot
to him.] Master Philpot, that's Bob — SpesJc to un.
Bob speak to un

Wild. Sir— I— I am [Stijles a letugk.] 1 say,
sir — I am, sir — extremely proud — of — of-

G. Phil. Of having beat me, I suppose t

[Aside.

Wild. Of the honour, sir— of — of

[Lamgh,

G. Phil. Ay ; that's what he means. [Aside.

Wild. And, sir — I — I — this opportonily — I

cannot look him in the face [Bursts tmt into

a laugh.] ha, ha ! I cannot stay in the luora

Sir Jas. Why, the »olks are all ma<^ I be-
lieve ! you shall stay, Bob ; you shall stay.

[Holds Urn.
Wild. Sir, I — I cannot possibly ■

[Wh'itpers his father.
Old Phil. George ! George ! what a woeful
figure do we make?

G. Phil. Bad enough, of all conscience^ sir.
Sir Jasp. An odd adventure, Bob!

[Laughs h^rtify.
G. PhiL Ay ! there now he is neariog the
whole aflair, and is laughing at me.

Sir Jas. Ha, ha ! Poh, nerer mind it— a di4
not hurt un.

3

MCHPHT.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

I

Old PkiL It's kII dJKOTcred.

Hir j0t. Ha, fan ! — [ told ye son Bob coqM
find ■ bare tqant upun her form with anv hf itt
ChriMMdoni-- hii, ha ! nerer mind it. nun; Wth
meant oo hnno — Here, here. Dob — licreS voiir
vrntbcrTr ■n*' there's voor bnither — 1 nlinuld like
Id iMi-e aee* uti under llie table !

WiU. OvatlciDfif), your most obedient

\Sttftifie a /itHjfA.

Oid PhU- Sir, vour scrrant He has licked

Ccttr;^ well and I furgivc hiin.

&r JaJL Wi-ll, Tuuiig gentleman, which way 15
joor mind now ?

0. Phil. Why, sir, to be plain, I find your
dauKfater an tdiut.

Sir Jot. Zee her neain, ibett— wo her ngaiit
Here, ywi, nmiii, send oiir Moll hiliicr.

.So-. Ve»,«r.

air Jaa. Very well, ih*ii ; we'll go into t'nthfp
room, crack a bottfe, and Mitk mutter* there ;

and leave ua togetJier Iliuc ! bote 1 Ouj-

MoU ^Tally over.

Enter M.titrA.
Maria. Did yo\i call mv, papa ?
Sir Jot. I did, mf giri — ihrrc, the centlemnn
want* to Speak with voti — Brhuve like 0 cle\t>r

wench, as you are C'ome alunfi, my hoys

Mailar Qaagmire, come and tiuiati iliJ busi-
laeM.

[Uri/ tinginfi, milk Otir PiitLroT and B£At<-

roKT. Manent GEOitcr. and Miria.
G. Phil. I know the is a tixil, and sii 1 wilt
4|ieak [/> bcrwithiiiit reremnnv — Well, Miss, you
tubl me Tou could read an J Hritc !

Maria. Rend, sir? Ilenvens! — [Looking at
Am j Ua. In, ha !

G. PM. What does she laugh at f
Maria. Hn, ha, Itn, ha .'
O. Phil. What diverts you so, pray?
Marta. Itii, ha, ha ! What a line taudry figure
yuu Uavf niade of yourtetf! Ila, ha !
G. Pkit Figure, madam !
Maria. I ^laJI die. I shall die I ha, hs, ha !
G. PhiL Do you make a taughiug- stock of

JCarfa. No, sir ; by no means Ha, ha,

ha!

O. PkiL Let me tell you, ntiss, I dou't under^
■ttnd bciiif tmifed ihu!^

Maria. .Sir, I can't posiibly help it — I — I —
Ua, ha !

G. PhiL I shall quit tllc room, and tell your
pafHi, if y»n pi on thus,

JUaria. Sir, [ U'c your pardon a thousand
ainei — 1 am but a ttddy tfirl — I can't help it— I

G. PhU. Madam, ihis i» downriffht iastili \

Maria. Sir, vuu look somehow or other 1

I't know hi»w, V) coniicallt IIu, hn, Im !

O. Phii. Did you iierer mt a geutlvmaiidrcv
' be lure }

V«L.JU.

Marie. Netrr like yoo— I beg your pardon,
«r — Ha. ha, ha !

G. Phil. N'ow, hera is an idim in iipirii^— -X]

rell yiHi, ibis is your ignorance 1 am drened |

m hifih tn>tr.

Maria. Ye% t to yOu are Ha, ha, ha \

G. Phil. Will vou hnvv d->ne laustiini! i

Maria. Ves sir, I will— I will there— •J

there— —there— — I have done.

G. Phti. Do so Oicn, aud behave youraeU* a
Httle sedately.

Siaria. I will, sir ; — I won't look at him, and

then 1 sha'nt laugh——— [Aiide,

G. PhU. Let me tetl yoo, mi«, that nobody

understands drew better than I do.

Mitn'a. Ha, ha, ha !

G. PhU. Ahe's mad, sm !

Maria. No, sir, I ana not mad— I hare done,

*iir — I haw diinr — 1 amore ynu. Mr, tlial nobody

It more ntcrw from ill manners, and would taka

greater pains not to afliont a gentjeroan Ha,

liB, hn !

G. PhU. Asotn? Zoutids! whatdoyoo mctaif
you'll put me in a pntsion, i out tell you, present-*
ly.

Maria. I can't help it— -ind^d I can't — RcaC
inc if YOU will, but In me laut;h — ] can't liclp it,
Hn, h^ ha !

G. PhU. I never uict with such ua^ in mf
lite.

Maria, I shall die !— Do, sir, let me laugh— It
will do me gi>ud— Hii, hn, hn !

[*fi diwn in a fit of tanghing,
G. Phil. \( t\v% in yoiir wny. I won't stay a
iiKMnoni Icinper in the room— I'll go this raumeiie
and (ell ynur father.

Maria. Sir, Mr, Mr Pliilpnt, don't be hi Ilimt,
sir— I have done. Mr; it's uvcr now— I bare hml
my lau^h out — 1 am a piddv e;irl — but I'll be
(•rave.— -I'll compose my»«4f, mid act a differ-
ent scene with him from nhat I did iit the motn*
i»^. I have all llic maieriati of an impertinent
wit, and I uill now twirl him aliout the room,
like o Iniy setting up his top with hi« finger nml
thumb. [Jade*

G. Phif. MbfS, I think you told me you could
read and write f

Maria. Read, sir ! Rendinjz is the delight of

mv life Do v«(n Im'e riaihiii;, sir?

G. Phil. Prudiefously — How pen •he is erown!
-I have rend very little, and I'm resolved.

for t)ie future, lu read leu. [jUide.] What haT«
you read. Mi^ ?

Maria. Kvcrv thine.

O. hhif. Yoii lmve>

Maritt. Yes, sir, 1 have.

G. PAiL Uh ! brave ! — and do yon reneiiiber
what ynu read, Mi« f

3iurifl. N.it so well as [ could wbh— Wjt«
have short memories.

O. Phil. Oh ! you arc a wit too t

300

BRITISH DRAMA/

[Mt'RPHV.

Maria. I are — and do you know Utat I feel
I nywli' prnvdkcd lu ti ^iiiiilu tmw}

O. Phil I'rovokrd ton Mtnilc! Let t» hear it.
Maria. WIml Ho you think we are both like ?

C PhU. Well-^

Slarta. Like Cymon and Iphigenin, in Dry-
den'* fable.

G. Phil. Jtiuny in Drydcn's fable !
Maria. 'X'tte fanning breese upon her boiom
bitnrs i
To fifcet the fanning breeUf kcr botom
rtt$e.

That's nie now yon.

He trudpai along, unkvoK-ing ahat he lougkt.
And Khitttrd in he ment [auautki] for Bunf of
tlufveht.
G. Phil This U not the sbok girl !

[ Disamcerttd.
Maria. Mark aenin, mnrk afnii" :
Thefotfl of nutarf ttood utth stupid fj/et.
And gaping mouth, that tesl(fied turpriu.
[He lix>ktftio{i»h, xhe inu^hi at btm.
G. PhU. I must lake care how I d|>ruk to htr;
' ibe ib not the Tout 1 tuok her for. [Audf.

Maria. Y'ju KCin stirpri^od, bir; but thi» is my
way — I mad, -lir, uud tlicn 1 apply — I have rend
cvi-ry thin); : SucUiD)E, Waller, Milton, Drvden,
LuHsdourfie, Cay, Prior, .Swift, Addison, i*ope,
YotiiiK, rhomson.

G. PhiL Hey ! the devil— what a clack is
bcrr ' \He tcolki atrott the ttagf.

Maria. [VoUairing him etigcrli/.] SiiaLcJiptnre,
Fletcher, Dtwav, boiilherne, Rowc, Conarevc,
Wichcrly, Farouhar, Cibtier, Vniibrucb, Steel, in
stuirl etery biHir; and I lind them nil wil, fire,
nvRciiy, spirit, genius tnste, imagination, raillery,
biimonr, ctmrtwter, aurf sentiment. Well done,
Mi'-s Notable ! yiiu have pluyvd your part Uke a
youLig uctixss in hlfih favour with the town.

[Aside.
0. PhiL Her tongne goes like a water-mill !

Muria. What do ym\ mv to me now, sir?

G. Phil. Soy !■ 1 don't Lmm what the devil tn
say. [AuJe.

Maria, What's the mntter, sir? Why, ydij
look a» irthe stfjck* were fullcii — or like Ixnidtm
bridcL- at low water, or like a trateriiimi Mlien tlif
Thames isfniiren; or like a politician wiiliuui
hcwft; or like a prude without M.-aniIul ; nr like h
great law\er without a brief; orlikeiuimc lawyer*
with one — or

G. Phil. Or like a poor devil of u husband
bcnpei'kcit by a wit, aud 8f» say no more ofllmt.
Wlint a capriri<)ii!i piece here is ! [A»idr.

Maria. Uh, tie ! ytm liave spoiled all ; 1 had
not half done.

G. PhU. There is enough of all oonscicnrc.
You may content yuuru^lf.

Maria. But I can't be so easily ooDtentcd— I
like a simile half a mih: loiig.

(7. PhU, 1 see you do.

Maria, Oh ! And 1 male wrtei too tenei

like an iu)|!c1—ofr hant^— exteoiporc. Cu yov
i(ive me an extempore ?

G. PhiL What does !ihe mean ? No, Mi» — I
have ticvrr a oive alniut inc.

Maria. You can't give mean eitpmpnre— Oh!
for shame, Mr Philpot ! F love an extempore of
alt thinfiB; nnd I lo»c ihe poet* dearly : their
sense so fine, iheir invention rich as Paclolus,

G. PhU. A poet neb as Factolus ! 1 hare
beard of tliat PactuJut ill tbe ct^.

Mai ia. Very like.

G. i'AiV. Biic you never heard of a poetu
rich as he.

Mann. As wbo f

O. Phil. Pnctuluv-— He was a prc«t Jew mer-
trlmnl^-- lived in tJie ward of Farringiiowo-witb-
out.

Maria. Pactolus a Jew merduuit 1 I^ctolM is
a river.

G. PhiL A river !

Maria. Ye>-^ — -don't yoQ tuideratjuid geo-
Umphv ?

G. PhiL The girl's crazy !

Maria. Oh ! sir, if yon don't understand e«*
craphy, ynu are nobody. I under»lanH eevieraphy,
and I understartd orlhosraphy ; yoa know I tuli
vou I cau write—- and I can dance if»o— will yoa
dance a minuet ? [^'k^* a'u' daaet^

O. PhiL You shan't lead me a daooep I fr»>
mt»: yuu.

Maria. Oh ! »-pry well, %ir— yon rrrwc me—
remember you'll bear immediately of n^ bwc
marrietj to another, and ihco jNiu'llbeiwyto
hang yoiirielf.

a.' PhiL N ot 1, I promise you.

Matia. Oh ! very" well, very well ■^^^

member mark my word*. I'll do i>» jo*

sliall see — 11a, hu !

[Rum {}§' in a fit of iMgiiVif-

G. PhiL Marry you I I wmjld as moo carry
mv wife to live in Bow-stfCCi» and wnle wtx tW
duor ' Phil[>ut*» puucb-hoose.'

£H(rrOLoPflitPOT anrfSm Jasper.

Sir .las. [^Vn^inf .] So rarely, %o brnvvty we^
limit hint over the downs and mr'U huop ■>
we'll halloo ! Gee us your baud* Touncc^titte
iiiniii ; well, what lay ye tu un Rowr Ben't ifa&*
clevt-r fcirl f

G. PhU. A very eitmnrdinary girl indfcd!

Sir Jul. Did nut I tell un ro — ibcn you kif
notbtni; tu do but to cooaummatc a» looti an wa
will.

G. PhU. No; you may keep ber, tir^ ita*^
yuu. I'll have nuthin;: tu do with ber-

Old PhiL Wh»T*» Utc matter now, Gcor|^ '

G PhU. I'hu ! shc'n a wit.

Sir JttM. .Kv, 1 told un z/j.

C. PhiL Aud ibat'» wursc than t'otlicr. 1«

MUBPHY.]

BRITISH

I

I

Sir Jiu. Odds heart ! I am afraid yoa are no
(rent wit.

Enlrr Maria.

MmrU. Well, papa, the gentleman woii*t have
■le.

Oid Phil. The numskull wont do %& hit falhor
hiibhiio; and %o, inrJanper, with yuur consent,
111 make a urupusnl In tlit- touni: Iwdy inm'tf.

Jiiurw. llnw ! what <toc« he uiY ^

0(d I'hif. I am m the prime ot my days, aad
I Ota he a hriik lovpr still ! Fair laily, a ^Imucp
ofyunrew is like the rettimiDg sun in the tprin|>
-^il mclti away the fn^rt of aije, and gives a new
warmth and \')guur to all nature.

I Fiifh a eou/:hing.

JCiTM. Dear heart ! I stiould like to hurc a
•c«»e with hiin.

Sirjat. Hev ! what's In the wind iiuw } This
won't take — My cirl shall linve fair ptny. \»
old t'Hlow shall toller Kt her iK-d ! What hay you,
mr pri, will ynu njclc Wts rradlu ?

'itaritt. Sir, 1 have one wnall doubt — Pray,
cao I bav* two hiiibnnds at a dtiie?

O. PkiL I'hore'^ a quf&tiiin now! She U
grown TooUdi a^mii.

Old Phil. Fair lady, ibc law of tlw Bond

Sir Jiu. Hold yc, h*i\d yv ! let um> tall of jaw;
J know the law hctler nor aity on ye — i'wo Ims-
bauds at once — Xo, nn! Men are scarce, ajid
Cfaat^s downright poaching,

Maria. 1 am »<irry fur it, yr. For then I can't
fDBiTT him, I tee.

jKr J^. Why not ?

Marim. I ain owtracied to another.

5ir Jtu. Cwntrartfd ! to whom f

ilfarwL To Mr Beaufort— that gcnllcman, lir.

Oid Phil. That ptTitUman?

Beau. Yes, ur. [Throat ufff a hit gotetL] My
gaaue ii Beaufort. And. I luipe, sir Janpcr, when
you consMier my I'lrtuite, and my real aflectton
for jpour dan^tcp, you will generously forgive
ibe *lhitag:ein I have made use of.

Sir JoM. Master <jun£mire ! What, are you
younp llraufort all this time?

OW PliiL Tlmt won't do. »ir; that won't take.

Boait. But it must tnkf, *ir ! You imw higncd
thm (Seeds for yuur dau^hier's niarriai^c ; and
•r Jaacier by this instrument has made me his
•on-io-law.

OU Phti. Ilnw \i this how is Hu-a ! Tlien, Kir
Jasper, ynii will agrrL- tn cantfcl die duetlsf I sup-
MMe f for you know- —

Sir JoM. Catch me at that, on yc can ! I ful*
tillrd my promise, and your M>n refused, anil so
the Mciich lias lo«>ked out alvly for herself else-
where. Did ( nut tell you she was n clrvtrcirl ?
I iH-n't ashamed o' my nirl — Our Moll, V'lu have
duiic nu harm, and Mr Kraut'on is Mrlciimc to
YOU with all my heart. 1*11 stand to what I hava
a^ned, thoueh vi>u have taken me hy sunirisc.

Wiid. limvu! myichcmc has succeeded rarely!

Old Pkil. And so here 1 am bubbled and
choused out of my moner — Geiirpe, Geurur, what
■ day's work have we made uf it ! Wvll, if ic
must he so, be it so. I desire, younu gcntleuMUl,
you will cnme and take mv daughler away U>-
mullYm' morninE. And, I'll you what — Iwre, here
— take my faiuily-wutrh into the hnrgaJn ; and I
wish it may play yoti iii»t Buth atrntlif-r trick as it
has me ; tiim's all — I'll never go intri{;uiug with
a family-watch B(;ain.

A/«ri«- Welt, sir! [To O. Paiu] Wtwt do
vou think uf me now t An't 1 a iUHinniucur, sir i
and n virtuoso? Ha, ha !

O. Phil. Yes ! anil much pmA roay't do your
husband ! 1 have becnrnnnnisseured antone ve to
some purprMe — Bubbled at play; duped by my
wench; cudgelled by n rake; laughed at hy a
^irl ; delected by my father — and there is tlia
wm total of all 1 have got at thu end of ib«
fowii,

Oid PhU, This end of the town ! I desire ne-
ver to sec it afiain whde I live — 111 p-ip into a
liacknevKHmcli this moment, drive to MiiiLiitf^-
lune, and never Teiilure back to tliisside of Tcm-
ple-har. [Giuii^.

G. PhiL And, sir, sir! Shalt I drive you }

Old I'kil. Ay; yiim)r any body. \Ent.

G. Phit. Ill overturn the old hocus at the (mt
Comer [FaUoatuff him.

Sir Jtu, Tliey slian't go lo, uoithor — thoj
>hall stay and crack a bottle.

[Etit afifr them.

Maria. Well, brotlier, bow have I played my
part?

W 5 To a miracle I

Maria. Have I } 1 don't know bow that is—

Iattt urf^rd mc on to trtf aU vUy artt

To win vour — [To Bf-au.] No/ not yon n—

To win your hearts ; [To tlie Audience
Your kenrtt to Bin u ncmi' >ay aim alone ;
There if' I grawj tJtt karvui u vour ovt.

[tUeunlomqus.

THE

I< I A R,

FOOTE.

DI^AMATIS PEHSONiE.

OtD WiLDiMO, d amntfy gentlematt.
YuuNG Wilding, the IJaar^ Aw $an.

f APILLIOM, VaUt- to YOVKO WlLSIWC.

SiE James Elliot, attached to Miss Graht-

HAM.

Servant$i Waterment ^c.

WOMElir.
Miss Gkanthah, attached to SxR Jamis &•

LIOT.

Miss Godfrbt, A«r_/rtCTidL
KiTTT, maid to Miss Grabtbah.

Scene — London*

ACT. L

SCENE l.—Toung WOdin^s Lodgingt.
Touvo Wilding and Papilliok ditcovered.

Young Wild. And am I now, PapUlion, per-
fectly ecuiipped?
£ap. JPerifijine nieux. Nolfody b etter.

TonngWitd- i^y figur**?

Fab. xaif a peindre.

YouneWild. My air?

Pap. Libre.

Toung Wild. My address?

Pap. Pariiiene.

Young Wild. My hat sits easily under my
mrm ; not like the draggled tail of my tattered
academical hahit ?

Pap. Ah, hicn autre cfiote.

Young Wild. WliVi then, adieu Alma Mater,
Xind bii-n Tinue la ville de Lotidre ; farewell to
the schools, and welcome the theatres; presi-

dents, proctors, short commons irith kx^ p«oe%
must now give place to pla}'s, bagnioi^ loai (>■
vem-bills with no graces at all.

Pap. Ah, bravo, bravo !

Young Wiid. Well, but my dear hptttoa,
you must give me the cart, du paye. This io«*
is a newwortd to me ; my provident papa* 70*
tLnow, would never suffer ate near the smoU fl(
London ; and what can be his motive fat. pv
mittiog me now, I can't readily coBceive.

Pap. JVi tHoL

Young Wild. I shall, however, take dwEfcv-
ty to conceal my arrival from him for a fe«
cfavs.

tap. Vout avez raiton.

Young Wild. Well, my Mentor, and bow am I
to manage ? Direct my road : where must I be-
gin ? Hut the debate is, I suppose, oX cobok-
quencc ?

Pap. Vraiment.

POOTE.^

llTISH DffSM/

SO0

I

Young Wild. How long hare jou left Paris,
Fnpillioo ?

P'tp. Twelve, dirteen vcar.

Yuung WUJ. I can'L compllDwnt you upon
^ur progress in Eit^Uoh.

Pap. Thcacceut i» cliliiiculL

Ymtag WiJmL Uul bcre yu\i arc at liome.

Php. C«fi vroi.

Yammg WUd. Ku frtiwigcr to fu»liiui»ibii-
placM }

Pap. O/MiVf /

Yomnf iVild, Acquainted wiili the fiuhionabir
fiptrcf o( birfh sexM i

Pap. &JIJ tlonrr.

Yaiaig WH4. Well, tbenj open jour tectoro :
And, d're luiar, p!i|iillii>ii, K!i yuu Imvi' Uk: Iiu-
DOur to be proiuoied from the mortilviitg con-
ditiun of an humble vnlct to the impcrtani
charge of a phvatc tutor, let us diacanl all dis-
tance between u». See me ready to slake m^
tlttnc at vout fouotuin of kuunledge, mjr Mag-
DOB Apollo.

Pmp. Here, tliea, I disdouj injr Helicon tu m;
pococaJ piiprL

YouH^ nitJ. Uej, PnpiUiuii i

Pap. hir !

Young WUd. What U this? why. 7011 speaL

Pafi, \Viih(»iit doubt.

YouMg H'l/i. Uut like a native!

P«f. To l>c !iure.

YommM WU4. And Mitat am I to conclude
from alfthu ?

Pap. L-iKicall/ thus *ir: Whoever speaks
purr luH^lisli is an l^nj^lt^hman. 1 spenk pute
Eneli^i; crcu. I am an I-Jiulishiiiuu. ltierc'!> n
cato^ncat «?llo^i«Ln I'ur vuii, iiiajur. niin<»r. wiiit
ODoaequencc Wtuit! d<i \im think, ^tir, ilmt
whilst you wna Uusv at Oht'ord, 1 wa^ idle t No,
ao. 110!

y'oun^ WtU. Well, sir, hut notwiihstanding
jour pleanulry, I lutut have lliis tuutler ciplain-

Pmp. So you sliall, my flood sir; but don't be
in Mch a hurrv. Yhu caiii^H 6uppr>«c I would
gi«« you the kcj, unlaw I uiemil you khould open
t)»e <i<N>r.

Yt»ing nitj. Why, then, prithee, unlock it.

i'0/<, liiuiifdiatcly- But, h> wny of entering
Bpnn my posl ui prct«*p»'»r, siiiiur mh: fir*l tu
uvc yio a him. Ymu inusi not expect, &ir, to
find btre, ae at UKiord, men ap[ie:uiiis in ihrir
fCkl chanu'ten: cvecY body llieie, »ir, kiuins
tfasl Dr Mu>>\v U R Trilow of Matjilulco. nnd
Tnin Tritlt ■ oiudent of <Jhrisi<ciiiirch; hut ihii
IDMO » out^ KFCat cuinHy, in whu-h nut only Uie
principle*, but frc<)uoiitiy ilw pcnuiis nrc fvign-
ed.

YiHiHi: Wild. A uwful oliMrrvntioo.

Pap. Why now, kir, iil the (ir^L colTee-hoiise I
tlukll coiiT yiKi, viiti uill pcrltup^ iihtI a iu:u),
Smm wboac dtcetit tabic ilrcM^ pludd cuuntc-

nnncc, insinoatinfr bcharioor, short sword, with
the waiter's civil addition t>i a di^h »f culTi>r fur
Ur .fulap, you would suppose bim to bt a phyan
cian.

Young WiM. Well?

Pap. I)nc« not know dia«cnrdiiim from diaCD-
luui. All absoluie Frcuch ^py, cuncfulL-d under
the ^hcttei' of a hujce ntedicinal perriwij;.

Yimng MiUl. Indeed!

Pap. A marliul fieure, too, it is odd" but yoa
will encounter; from whose Kcars, title, dress
tind address you would tmpuuse to have hud a
fttinre in every acuon »iuce the peaca of the Py-
fences; runner to a gaioinit table, and bully to
a bawdy-house. Bnttk-s to be sure, he boa been
ill — »iih the watch; and frequently a priaouer^
too — in the round-house.

Young Wild. AmH7inx !

Pap. In flhort, sir, yf>u will meet with hiwyert,
who practice sn)ut;£liiii:, and merchants who
tr^ide upon Ilounsluw-hcath; reverend actici^ts
ri|:ht honourable ftharpcrs and Frcnclinieu from
the county of York,

Young Wild. 1q the Inst list, I presume, you
roll?

Pap. .Tn<it my situatinn.

Young Wild. AikJ pray, sir, what may b«
your roolive for thii whnnMcal lran»formation ?

Pap. A verv liacmleM^ one, I promise you. £
would only avail mvMlf at tlic oxpcoce of follj
and prejudice.

Yauirg Wiid. Ab how 1

Pap. Why, Bir^— ^ — -Rnt to be better un-
derstood, I believe it wdl be necessary to give
you a slturt sketch o( tlic principal iuddenta of
my life-

Young Wild. Prithee, do.

Pup. Why, ihcfu you are to know, wr, tliat
my former »iittintiiiii hits been rather altnve my
present coiniition; lui% iii^ onre Mi^tnincd tlic dig-
niiy of ^iib-prcf cpt^ir to one of th{we rhcnp iw*
ntl iirndrirM's Miih which mir ouuoty of York ii
sn plFiitifnlly vt'Mknd.

Ytmug \liid. But to the point : Why this (Ua-
f;uiK .' why rcnouDCC your country ?

Pap. There Hir, you nwAtc n little av>t^o : it
w:u tnv country lliMt renuaiiced me.

I'oun^ Wild. Kiploii).

Pap. In an instant : upim qiiitiinc the school,
nnd liru coming to town, I got rrcointoended to
tlic cuinpilcr of tliu Moutlily Kevicw.

Young Wild. What, an author, Utoi

Pap. Oil, n votuinMiiMis one! The wliolc r^
^ion of the belles Icttrps fell under my in^ftec-
tion : |.hyMc, divinilv, imd i(»o mnihcin;ilirs my
nii«tres<^ maitajtcd ItervJf. Thrre, «ir, like ano-
ther 'Vriviarcli. I rlcnlt nut fame and daniDalinn
nt pleasure. In al<ediciico to the capricr and
commaodft of my mnrter, I luivc cundemnctl
^toolt,» I never read; and applauded lh« ttdelity
rif a tnmvlatintt, without understanding one t^ylla-
lAfX uf tlie 01 i|;inid.

3)0

BRITISH DU^MA.

[FoOTE.

Young Wild. Ml ! wliy. I ihoaulit the «cuie-
nrit it( (liMrniinoni, null flrplli uf" knowledge,
wciti HiH:t**«» In •ciMinplUh M critic

P0f^. YrsMr; but n-'t a numthlv one. (>ur
motW WM wry crtwi**-. Wc ropy ibe liile-

tMii<- rtf tt «r« tiiiA ; w* nf^rr p> mit luttber.

tiKwti Mt ««nl», 4ilMh, m Wilt dbnHvh « im-
*t\ v«-n.>4s t<k.mJly 4m* tW >■■■»■'; . «%

VMfrfMm <iuii<wi». *!*»••« •••kwy, then

%« )iw^ wwwwKC^P^ tt-k *fc*i BBbeciU. Jtno

[4H^ tvn^raidMK Vn^Pml- And Onifk, mr,

Ik^MMbbMriNt^WiA w«An4 iHir liaods of his

, VMU. A ^*>^ rtripe !

I \%M hv, xs>w tiAve all tlK! nuilerinU
. ^ arc the anus with
I IJH "HI ^ :> ofcrery kind. To us,

liUl VMifS^ V> vji^ i ptnys nr M-nnoiii, poctry
M« or nudwifery, it u tlic Hunc

■ VtiM lt«w cnme yoo to resign this ea-

AiMitd twt niKwer. NotwitSttandins
jHHipIc will jud^c for tln'iuwlvc**:
' u|M)it hmid. aod all I could e,ti
i-.iMivher wiu four sbiltings n-wcek and
u t4;l-)>««T, P(»i>r nittaiHic !

)</*^ II ■/(/. Poor, tiidoed.

.^^K, ^>h, linir-«(nrvcd roe.

)'«wnj Wild, WImt was vour next change ?

|Wk I w»» niighlily piiiizled to cIkmisa. -Some
wuhl Invc IDC turn |tU_vcr, and others meiho-
itisl itr(-n<)tfr; bet n^ 1 had im monev to build
iu« a tabrrnndt:, I did nut tliink it cmilH onswcr;

■ad as to player ~v«hate%cr luiptht bti|>|ii-n

l\i UH>, I wan dptcnnined ncit to brin^ a di»tnicu
«pun }ay family ; and so I resolved to turn foot-
man.

ydMiiff Wiid. Wisely resolved.

Pap. Y«, fiir, hut not so eauly executed.

Yming inW. No!

ritp. Oh no, sir • Mmiy u weary sttp liave 1
taketi after u placp. Hrrr I was too old, ihcre
1 was too young ; bcri* tlio takl lirrry vms mo
big, there il wnh too little; here I was uukward,
tlwre I *•»» kniiMin:: Madain disliked nie ut
this liouM.% hff lady^tiip'A wonian at titc next : so
thrtt 1 vins us much pui/.]r«l to find out a pliir«%
a-t llic (jriTtt Cviiic p)pdot>opher to discover n
man. In »iuirt. I wai« qtitle in a srntc of dopiiir,
when chuiicc tltrcw an old frieitd iu my way that
qiii(f rctni'vcd mv oflbrra.

yuan/; U'lhl. Pmy. who mi^ht he be ?

Pap. A little hit of a Sniiss genius who had
Iktu Frnnch usher with iiie »l tt>e ttnmc »chi>rtl
in the omntry. I opened mv niclnnclM>ly «(»ry
10 him over three penny-worth of brcf-j^lit-
mode, in a cellar in St Ann's. My little foriign
friend pursed ap bis lanitiorn jaws, aad niib a

uat:

shrufc of contempt, * Ah, inaitr« Iran, vnas nV
' vcz pas la polini|ue; you have do ftnesse : n>

* :hnve licre, yoH must stody the folly fjf yonr
'Own country.* * Uuw, moit^ivurr 'TaisexTuat:

* keep a your torii:u(r. Autrefob I teach
' speak French, now I tcach-a yno to forget

* lish. Go rid mc to my I'Kltcenieni ; i ril ^

* yuu proper dreta, den |£0 preMint yourself lo
' Nime buiets, dc very same house ; you will find

* all de dors dut was shut in your face tki footTniu
' Anglois, will fly upcn dcmselvn to a. French ra-
' let dc chumlirc.'

Young \i'Ud. Well, Papillion?

Pap. ilaA, sir, I thuu|>ht it wu bat an honest
artifice, so 1 determined to follow uy fneQd*s
adrice.

1 otin^ IVUiL Did il wcreed f

Pap, Better than expectation. Mjr tw
face, louj^ queue, and brokcD English, wnsa pi
p^irtout. flesides, when I am »ul uf place,
dikguisc procure!! me many resources.

Yuun^ IVtld. As how ?

Pap. Why, at a pinch, sir, I am either a
cr of tonjruen, a fn^ur, n dentist, or a da
ma.ster : these, sir, nre hereditary pnif<-«$ji
Frenchmen. But now, sir, to the pomt ; As
you were pleaded to be so candid with me, I
was drtermined to have no resen'c with toil—
Ynu hate studied books, I have studied tnen;
yuu want advicC) and I have some at your le^
vice.

Yotinf IViid. Well, I'll be your customer.

Pap. Itut guard my secret. If I should be
so unfortnnate a« to lose ytntr placc^ don't ilral
me out fn>m evenr otlier.

Young Wild. Vou may rely upon me.

Ptip. In a few ycarv X shall be in a condition
to retire from busincis; but wlietlicr I abitl lel-
tlc ut my fnmily-seut, or pass over lo the oou>-
iictvl, ib as yci undetermined. Perhaps, in (laC-
tudc to the country. I luiiy pun hose a manjm-
sate near Pans and spend the monev I have pA
by tbcir means gciicrouilv nnxuiji^t l)ieuL

Young Wild. A gratef'ul inteutiuu ! Bat IM
us sally. W here do we open t

Pap. Let ns «ec— one (/cluck — it is • fine itj.
11ic nlail will he crowded.

Youtif,' Wild. Allnns!

Pap. But don't stare, sir ; anrvey every ttB^
witli an air of habit and iDdifierence.

Youti^ Wild. Never fear.

Pap. Uut I would, sir, cmve a tnontcnt's te-
diencc, upon a subject that may prove very t»-
Cerial to ri>u.

Youtif Wild. Proceed.

Pap. Vdu will pardon ray piecmnptioa; M
you have, mv zimd ma-drr, one little (oibl^ (^
I could wish you to correct.

Young Wild. What is it?

Pop. And yet it it ■ pitj, (oo^ you do iI >•
very well.

Young Wild, Piithcc be pUia.

FOOTR.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

Sit

I

I
I

I

. Pap, You bave, fir, n lively iinskgi nation, with
B mnv. hnppv turn tor iovcntiun.

Young Wiid. W«I1.

Pmp. But now and then, In vour narrntircft,
ynu are hurried, by a fluw uf spirits, tu bunlcr
updo the imprubable — a little (pvcD to the nmrrel-
lous.

FcMin^ WUd. I undcfuund you : what, I am
•onietihai subject to IviiiK^

Pap. O, pardon inp, hir; I don't say that; no,
no! only ■ little apt to cobeltislt; ihaiS all. —
To he -lure it i* a tine gift, ihnt there is no div
puiitif : but inen in general are k> »tupid, so ri-
gonxifly Mttaclied to matter of fact -And

jret tliifl tnleat of your« is tfac rrry 6<>ul atut spirit
of poetry t nnd why it ehouUI noi In: the sanic in
pro*r, I ran't, fur mv life, dcit.'riiuDc.

Yonn^ H'lW. You would advise me, then, not
to be quite so porttcal in my prt>*c ?

Vap. Whv. ur, if yuu wuuIJ dt-sceiid a little
to the f nnellinu compreheti&iuns of the niilliuu, 1
tbuik it Mould be aswull.

Yo»Hg \{'iU. I'll tbink of it.

Pap. Besides sir, in this town, people arc
more wnoky and suspicious. Oiford. you knnw.
is llw «M of the Muses; and a lOHn i4 ti:itiirHll>
pcnoitted more ornanienl and s;arnilurc to lil^
convcrsatiiH), than they will allow in this lali-
tutk'.

Yotirtfi Wild. I hclicvcTOU are rieht. Dut svc
•haJl he lair, D'vc hrar me, Papilliori ; if at anv
titac ynu <ind mc tog (MK-tiinl, give mc u hint ;
yoar ad%icc »lmn't be thrown anay.

[EtU.

Pap. I wi-sh it mayn't : hut the diiiCftsr i* too
rooted to bcipiicily reni«i\rd. Lml, how I Imn-
sweat for bini ! yet be is as iinenibnrraKipd. easy,
and floent, all the time, as if he really Itclirvnl
what he uiid. Well, to be sure. Im* is a grciir
master; it >« a thousand pities bis ffcnius c«mlfi
not be converted to some public fvcn'ire. I
think the |>ovcn)oicnt sb'tald employ him tu an-
•wer the Bruswls Gazette. IM be hniii!;(-d if bt-
19 not too inany fur Moiisit:ur Mauberi, at his
own weapuos.

SCENE n.— TAc Park.

JCaffr Miw GaAKTUtu, Miss GonratT, and
Srrvant.

Jifiu Grtm. John, let die chariot f.o round to
5fHiucicardein ; for your uiiMfesa aod I slinll call
u Lady B«b\ Miss Armbelta Atlnighi's, tlir
CounteM of Cruuipk-'s and tlic tall man\ tlii»
moroine. My dear Miss Godrrey, what trouble
I have had to get you out ! Why, child, you nn-
■a tedi'iu^ n« a lone morniitg. Oo you know notv.
ibai of all places uf public reiulezmns, I honour
cHe Park f forty thousand million of tunes prerc*
ntble to the pl»^-bou»e ! Don't you think »o, mv
4mri

Min God, Tbey arc both well io ibeir way.

Jtfur Grnn. Way ! why, the purpose of both
is the wtiie; to meet company, i'n'l it ? Whiit,
d'ye lluiik I go there for Uic playt. or come bera
lor the trees? ha, ha! well, that is well t-iinueb<'
But, U Gemini ! I beg a millinii nf ]Nirduii<i ! ^ oa
are a pmdc, and have no rvUsh for tlic little tii«
no<Tnt liln^rlics wilh wliich a title wuDiun may
iiidul>:c herself in public

Mus God. Liberties in public !

Miu Gran. Yes, child; such as encoring a
M)ni; at an opera, mterrupliiif; a piny in a cri:
srcdc of distress, hallooing to a prctlv fr.Uow cmn
the Mall, ah loud as if you were cnllin;; n roncb.
W by, do you know now, my dear, thai, by a lucky
stroke in dress, and a few high airs of my own
mnkin;;, I Imvr bail the ^ood fortune to be enzed '
ut niid followed by as great a crowd, on u Sutiduy,
as if I was the I'npoU ambassador i

Mi*s Gifd. The k'kkI fortuoe, madam ! Sureljr
llic with of every decent wuinaii i> to be uauu-
iiccd in public.

Afits Gran. Decent ! oh, my dear queer crea-
Inre, what a plint.«c hiive you found out fur a
M'oiTinu of fashion ! Decency is, child, a mei
bourgeois, pIcIiMHii quality, and tit only for tf
ivho pay court Io tliC world, and not for us, la.
whom ibe world pavi court. Upon mT word,
yon mnst enlarge vour ideas ; You arc a line ^irl,
and we must not have you lost; I'll undt^rtakft
vou invself. But, as 1 nas paying — Pray, my tlenff
what was I saying?

Mi%t God. 1 profess I dou't recollect.

Miss Gran. Ucy !--0h. ah ! ibc Park ! Ona
ercnt reason for my loving the ['ark is, that ono
haft so luany opportunities of creating cotinco-
lions.

Afia Gad. Madam E

jl/iM Gran. Nay, dun\ look |tr«ve. Why, do
you know ilint all my male frietidsliips are Vonn-
i'd in ihifi place?

M»s CihL It is an odd spot : But you most
[Hiidon mv, if I doubt the pos^ibiliiy.

Mtit C'an. Oh, 1 will cjjnviocc vou in a mo-
ment ; tor lierc ^ecn^s to bt; coming a £ood smart
figure tlial 1 don't recollect. 1 niU throw out a
lure.

X/i$s God. Nay, for Heaven's sake !

ifu* Gran. 1 nm delt;rmincil, tliild : that i*—

Miii God. You will oxcu&e my wiibdrawing.

Mitf Gran, Oh, plca*e your^ulf, my dear.

[Exit Miss GooFfctT.

Enter YouKO WiLDltin, nitk pAPILtlOX.

Y'lnng Wild. Your ladyship'* haiMllcrcbiefr:
madam.

Mtis Gfan. I am, sir, coDcerncd at the ti
hie—

Yoitne Wild. A most happy incident for me,
luadum ! a» rhuucc has iiivcii mc an honour, in
one lucky minute, that llie most diligriit allen-
(loit Imtt lint Ihuu able to prmure for loe iix the

whole icdiouft routul of a rcyolvinB ;fear.

.414

BRITISH DRAMA-

[FOOTI.

Jtfun Gran. Is this meant to mc, nr?

fauitf: M'i/rf. Tci wlmin else, m:idRfii > SoitIt,

TOU must hnve inarL<.-d inv rcspKrttuI lusiduity,

|jnv untnit>rTuptcd attcndnnce; to plays, cpcnis,

Ibiklls, ruuts, and ndotlo^ I h«ve pnnuVd ymi like

[jour slmciow ; 1 have he^itycd your door t'ur a

' gliinpM.' uf vuiircxil and ciiiruih^c, liLc adtstrr^a-

«d creditor, nbo bos no onus ogauiu privilege but

perwvcnnce.

Pap. So, ootr he is in for It ; stop tiiin who
can.

Voung Wild. En short, madam, ever since I
quilted AmtTica, nliich I liil^c now to be about
a yvtr, I hare as faitiitally euarded the lit-f><long
nighi your ladyship's uorinl, a» » ccntiuel tlie
powder miu^7.inc in a fnrtitied rity.

Pop. Quitted Acnenca ! well pulled.

Miis Gran. You have scn-ed in America,
Ilicn?

Young IVild. Full fonr yean. Madam : and
dunni^ that whole linir, not a sinfile action of
eouaeqoenop, but t li:id an opportunity to signa-
lize myself; and 1 think I may, without vanity,
allirm, I did nut miss the occasion. You have
beard of Quebec, I presnme f

Pap. Wlwit the .|em:e » lie driviitj; at now ?

Fcmn^' Wild. The project to surprise that pliusc
WM Uioiit;ht H happy expedient, and Uic tirst
mountiiif! the breucft, a gallant expliiil. Thcrv,
iodeed, the whnic nrmy did me ju<ttice.

Mu$ Gran. I liiive hcnrd ilie honour of that
ODBquett BitfilHitrd to another nniiK>.

Toung WiM. The mere taking the town, ma-
dam. But that's a trifle ; Siegps now-a-dny* arc
reduced to certaintini; it is amaxinc hi>w mi-
nutely exact we, who know the businc&s, ore at
ctik'ulntion. For iiistiincc now, we will suppose
the oommander in chief, uddresting himself to
me, ma lo tar, ' Colonel, [ want to rcduct- tlmt
'fortress; what will be the expencc*'— * Whr,

* please vour hiahnesi, the reduction oi'tbat ffir-

* treu will ciial yi*u one ih'msnnd and two lire*,

* sinty-ninc Icrs, ditto nuns, f<iur5core fnictarcs,

* with about twenty dozen of flesh wound*.'

Miss Gran. And you should be near the

Yourifi Wild. To an odd joint, madam. But,
nadnm, it is not to the French alone that my
foata are confined : Cherokt^s, Cntabaws, with
all the AwA and Kdes of the cuatiiient, have felt
the force of my anus.

Paff. This is too much, sir!

Younf: WiltL Hands alT! — Xomml leHodrrMt
at a troHty, madam, tlian terrible in bnttle. Vo
nve wc owe the friendship of the Five Nations ;
and I had the tinrf lionour of smoking tlic pipe
v( peace with the Little Carpenter.

Alisi Gran. .And so yoan^ !

Yonng Wild. Ttiis gentlenmn, though a French-
man, and an enemy, I hod the fortune to deliver
from the Mohawks whose pri^toncr he had ticcii
f«r nine years. Uo ^ives a ino^t uulertaiuing ac-

royoDOH

count of their laws md customs : he shall
!*ent you with the wampum bt-lt and
knife. Will vou pL-nnit him, madam,
ipve you a taste of the military-daocc, 'with a.
^t>n specimtMt of their wur-wh'Kip?

Pap. For Heaven's sake I

Mis* Gran. The place is too public.

Young Wild. In short, rondam, after having
ICBthcrpd as many laurels abroad m would pr-
nt»li a Gothic catlteilral at Christmas 1 rctamcd
to renp the harvcM of the Hcll-fooi^ht 6cld. Here
it wan mv i:ood foriimc to cttcounter you : tbra
wii> tlie vKtur vuiKjuiUii-d ; nhai the enrrayo3aU
never accoinpli5h, your eyes in an instant-
chieved ; prouder to serre here iIkid cocD!
chief clwwhere ; and nmrc gloriotis in
your chains than in triuiDphing orer the saa*
quished World.

Mitt Gran. I have pnt !ter« a mnat beroicil
lover; But 1 xb sir James Klliot comin|b and

must dismin him. — [Aiide^J^ Well, sir, I ac-

rept tiic tcndre of your passion, and may liud •
time to renew our ac(]uaintane« ; at pi««ent it
is necessary wc should separate.

FffMOjE Wild. ' .Slave to your will, I live but to
obey you.* Hnt may 1 be indulged i%itli Uie know
ledge of your tesidence?

MitM Gran. Sir?

Totuii! Wild. Your place of abode.

Hiss Gntn. Oh. sir. you caii*c wrant
acquninted with that ; yno have a whole
flCood cenlinpl at mv ladyshi|i'» portal !

Younf! Wtfd. Mftdnm. [ — I — I

3fiM Gian. Oh, sir, your servant. Ita, h^
ha ! What, j-ou are rnunht ? ha, ha, ha f WcU,
he has u most intrepid astturancc. Adtra, ny
Mart. H», ha, ha! [£jtV Mi«inats.

Pap. That last vra.% an unlucky r^uestioa, lir.

Young Wild. A little mal-a-propos I onH
confess.

Pap. A man should have a good meiaoej wha
dealt much in lhi<t pnrliml pniise,

YiuiHg Wild. Foil ! I'll soon re-«sbbl>sh at
credit. But I must know who this girl tv llatfc
yc, Papillion, could not rou contrive in pomp Ml
of her footman — I sec there he stands — the aaM
of hii mi<tlre!H?

J'up. I will try. [£»L

[Wilding r;/irri to the btuk of the tt^

Enter Sin JkHca Elliot, mtt Setrmnt,

Sir James. L^Iusic and an entertainmcut ?

Scr. Ye*, sir.

Sir Jumcs, Last nifliht, U|ion the water f

Scr. I'pon the water, Inst night.

Sir Jume*. Who gave it ?

Her, Ttmt, sir, I can't say.

To them WiLniKC.

Young Wild, Sir James EUiu^ yaax aMil*'
voted,

X

1

Foots .]

BRITISH DRAMA.

St$

I

I

Sir Jathft, AUf my 6ear Wilding ! jroa arc
««lcotuc ui town.

YoMig Wild. You will purduii mv iiapaticiicc ;
1 iDtemipinl vou; ;du mwiuciI up<m nu iutcr-
estini; lobject r

Sir Jamet. Ob, on afiiir of znlUintfT.

Young Wiift. Of wliat kimt>

Sir Jamtt. A Touiig tad> rci;atcd Inst night bv
licr lover on the Tliiirties.

Ytmng Wild. Ak Iiu<* }

Sir Jamt*. A batid uf music in bonts.

Young Wild. VV'cfc ihcj gwij piH'unners'

Sir Jamet, 'I'tic bcs.t. Then conHuetcd lo
lljlJBrilildMdl, where slic fuuncl a magnificent cul-

ro«M< H'lVii. Well oraerc.l ?

5lfr JiftMi. Willi ele);ance. AHcr sapper a
bttll; luid, to conclutlo ilic ui^ht, r firewtirlt.
YvMHg U'lM. Was tbc latt nell desigoed?

Sir Jamri. Su|Krrb,

Young WiiJ. AikI happily executed f

Sir Jomtt. Not a single Inut pfu.

Yottug Wild. Aod jruu doii't kiiuw wlio gave
icP

&> Jamei. I can't f vcn ^n«f:S.

Yammg WtU Un, h», lui !

air Jama. Why d^t vim luugh ^

y<niaj H'i/(i. IIb, Uvl, bu ! It wtu me.

&r Jomtt, Y««i !

F4i^. Vou, air !

Young: Wild. Moi — me.

P*p. Su, so, VI ; he's entcm) aitaiit.

Sir Jamtt. Wbt, you nre fortunutc to find a
uiirtreM in at ihurt a spare ut' tunc.

Yoitmg Wild. -Slioct ! wlivt auui, I Inre been

is LCMUIOD lIlCM! MK Wtorks.

Pap, O Lord, O Ij.rd I

Yatutg Wild. It 19 true, not corine to eumun-
««r rojr lather, I have f«rel)r ventured out but at

Pap. I cnn hold no loneer ! Dear »ir

Young Wild. Peare, puppy '■

pop. A ciirh to vonr pofUcul vein '.

Y<mmg Wild, r itiall rtirb vour impertioente

Hut since ttie stur; m cut at>mad. I will, my

dcftr friend, treat you uith nil tJic {tarticulars.

Sir Jmin. I ihai\ hear it with f»teai>ure

This rA a lucky adventure ; but ho mast not know
be i» mt mat [Atidr.

Y*mng Wild. Whf. nr, between iix and se»en
M iHMMCM eiobnrkiNj at Siinerset-Btair*, in one
of toe oampmny'!, bar^e^, etlt and huug with da-
»a*k. eureuty for ihi> occasion.

Pmp. M*rcf on u) f

Young WJd. Ar the cahin-door she was ac-
CMCed by a heauurul boy. who, in tbe «nrb of a
CofMd, paid her tome cotupHinenti in vene of
an owo cnmiiaiini^ The oouccila were pretty ;
■lluoioiu to Venus oftd the sen — the lady and the
Thftmr*— no creat tMoitei ; bat, Ixi^^eVcr, well
dawd. and, what wa» bolter, wcU taken.

Sir Jamti. Doubtless.

VOL.m.

Pttp. At what a ntr l»r luns!

Young Wild. A-i sooii nit ue had Sained thtt
centre ot' the ri%er, ivtn bmu, full of trumpet:^
Freitdt-horak. and other martini rauaic, Mrwk up
their itpnglitW >tnun» from lln Surry xuic, nliiclt
were edioi-il hy » stiilubte luiniher nl' lutes, fluiei,
and hautboys, fnrm the opp<»iic fttuwe. In this
Htttle, the oHn knepuig time, we majestically
Mtited akjug, till the nn-l)c» of the New Brid(>a
pni e a paii^e, anil nn 'tl>|:tirtunity lor an elc<^uit
dcMwrt in Drc«den Chmn, bv liohittsou. Here
the repast closed with a fvw luvourite airs fioin
KWto, Tcnducei, and the Mnitci.

Pap. Mercy (j« us t

Young Wiid. Opp-«itc Lambeth, I had pro-
cured a naval rn^n;;euient* in ivhich tiuM'Uffen's
victory <itt-r the Trench Htii repeated : llie action
was cuutiucied bf uue of tite cuiaiitandorh uii
tliat expedition, and not n siogle incident cuoit*
ted.

Sir Jamej. SurcW jroD eujtgenilc a little !

Pap. Yea. \ey tbia battle will sink hiio^

Young Wild. I'rue to the letter, upon my ho-
nour ! I ^iiui't Iniiible you with a repciitiim of
our (ollatiou. hnll, feu d'nrtilice, with the thou-
snnd little incidental amusements that cltantx- or
desif^n pmcluml : it is i-iinut;h to kuuw, ihnt nit
tlMt could lUtter the bruscs, Hrc ttie imajanulioii,
or gratifv the expectation, wu litere produci^rin
» lari«)i iibundiiiice.

Sir Jamct. The sacrilioc was, I presume^ grate-
fui t«» your deny?

Youfig Wild. Upon that Miliject ymitnuM par-
don my ftileuire.

Pap. McKitrsi crrtiiure !

Sir Jumei. I wish you joy uf your wccCBft—
For die [irusenl y.ni will txriise me.

Young Wild. .Nay, but stay, and bear tbe con-
cluMon,

Sir Jnatra. Fur that I shall seixe another occa-
sion. {£ln( Sia jAyc*.

Pap. Xnhly perf<inni"d, *ir '

Young Wild. Yea; 1 think happily hit off.

Pap. May i take tbe liberty to o^ one t|ue»-
tion f

I'onnx Wild. Freely.

Pup. T'ray, sir, are yoo often visited witli these
wnLiiig drcnms *

Youug Wild. Dreams ! what dort mean by
dre^iOD T

Pap. Those orMunentai reveries, th<»e fnilici
of fniicY, which, in tJic tudnT^teot ot' tbc vulgar,
would he deemed absolute dams.

Young Wild. Why, {'apiUiOQ, yoQ have but n
poor, narrow, circum<u:ribed Keaiu«'

Pap. I must owo, sir, I have not Mihhmity wf-
iicieat lo relish the full fire cf yaor PiiKlaria
muw.

Yaumg WUd. No ; a plabeiaa soul ! Rut I
will ammate thy clay : mark my «x«mple, follow
iny steps, and, in time, thou mayse iiTal thy nufr-
tcr.

9 R

S14

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FooTt.

Pop. Never, n«rrr, sir; I Iwve not tttlent* to
fight EnUflcs Mitltout blowfi, and (ive fcostf thot
doii't cost me n Iflrtlun^; — Itcbidefi, iir, to wimt
purpose WT all tlipw cmbcllishmeni! f Why tell
tlic luily rou haw bci-ii in Ijjiulan a vear?

YouH^ Willi. The better to plcaJ the length,
and roitwquriitljr the strcn^h, of mv pulsion.

Pitp. But i»hy, Mr, It soldier?

Young Wild. [Iuw little ihou ktiio^est of (lie
Acx! Wliat, I tupfXTW thou wmihrst have tnc
nttack tliciQ it) iiiihmI anil ti|:urr, Iit n |M.'dantic
clnHicnl quotation, or a yntmytous faradt of jar-
gon from titr scIi>hi|«? Whut, rlu^l think tliU wu-
mtti nre to W col hkc degrees f

Pap. Xav. sir

I'ouug Wild. Xu, uo; iho scavoir vivre is iJic
science fnr ihfin ! the iiuiD iif nnr ts ilicir man :
thev muH he lokrti hie townM, hv hiii'^ ut' ii^
prooch, countertcarm, augtcs trendies, C(>ehorns
«tiH TO*ert-wiivt ; ilteii enter sword-iti-liuiul, pel!
mell ! Obf hov* ihoj mdi ni Uic (ioUiic itune* of

ccncnil Sw»frinb)tdc, cMint Ro^Mnmmtilrj, prince
Montecuculh, and marshal FiiMinburg ! Men
may wy **hai thcr will of their Ovid, their Pe-
trarch, nnd llteir VVnltcr; but 111 andertiike to
du more bu<ttieys by the Mnclc aid of the Lod-
doa (tarfcitCit than by all the sifliin)*, dyinp, crrinf
crotrlketA, thnt ihe whole race of rhyiuen liatc
ever produced.

Pap. Very well, sir, this is all very lively ; hot
reincraWr tlic travelling jiitcber; if yo« 6m't
one time nr oilier, under tavour, lie yountlfiMO
some confoiindrd «crapc, 1 will be •onttot to fai
hunted.

iouBg in/</. Dn you think sn, TNipiltim'
And whenever that happens if 1 don't lie uiywlf
(lUt of it again, why, iIkii, I uill be content to be
crurilii'd. And na, nlnni: after Uie ladv — [•'^'T'
jAofI, poirtf (juf.}— Zounds, here cunie*my (•*
titer ! 1 niu^t lly. Wntch him, Papillioa, aait
bring iiu.' word to Cardigan.

ACT II.

SCnXE "L—A room in a tamn.

VoL'Kt) WiLDisD an/f pAPiLLton riling from
tabk.

Young XTUd. Oad, I had like to bare run in-
to the Old ^rntk'innn's nioiiili.

Pap. It is pretty ncnr the iwme thing; for I
sunr him join sir Jonios Liliot : so your anit-al b
m» longer a secret.

YoitNg Wiid. Why, then, I mutt lose my plea-
sure, ami rau your prefemtent : Imii<>t sulMnit to
the dull decency of u njltor family, mid you to
tiM! cust'ifnnry duties of bru'>hiiig and powdcritt^.
But I was ^1) fluttered at meeting my tttthcff that
1 forgot tim fair : prithee, who is iheP

Pap, T)(ere «cic two.

Young Wild. Thnt I snwr.

Pap. From lier footman 1 learnt IterQamc iviu
Godfrey.

Young Wild. And Jicr forttme^

Pap. ImnienBO.

Young Wild. !!^inglc I hope?

Pup. t.'crininlv.

Young Wild, ^hen will I have ber.

pap. Wlint, nhclhcrslie nitl urnof

Yonnn Wild Vci.

Pup, iiuw will Vim mauage tliiu?

Young Wt/d. Ry nmkUig it tmputiMble for her
to man y any one else.

J'of). I Hiiii't understand yoo, ur.

I'oung Wttd. Oil, I shall only have recourse to
that talent you >u mightily admire. You will see,
by tlie drciihiLun of a fen naecdotca, how aixm
I wdl get nd of m} rivalf.

Pup. At the cipcncc of the lady's reputation,
perhaps f

Pap. .\iid have yoB no quiil
iouna Wtltt. Wliv, v» here's

Young WUd. That will be as it happciu.

' the injory ?
Pop. No m_jury to ruin her fame 1
Young Wild. I will rcafore it to ber
Pup. How?

Young Wild. Turn boker, aad menlitan'
self.

Pap. Which WBT i

Yoang Wild. The old way : folder it by ■B^
riat;c : that, you know, ii the modem nm iot
c^cry sore.

Znier Wmifer.

Wait. An eUleriy gentleman to enquire for Ur
Wilding.

YoHMg HVd. For me ] What son of a bciai
19 it ?

Wait. Beincnr?

Yonng Wild* Ay; how b he dmsed?

Wait. Id a tie wipj and snofl^cohmicd MHt.

Pop. '/.inks ur, it is your father \

Young Wild. Show him up.

[Ent Wtkff
Pap. And what most I do?
i'oung IVild. Reoorer TOur bmken Ei^Eik
but prL-!K.-n-e yoar rank : I \aM^ a rcnsoa fbriL

Enter Old W i ldiiio.

Old Wild. Your aervam, air: yonwewdoMtf
to town.

Young Wild. You fiave jiut prrvcnied nc, ut
I n-at preparinic to pay my dnty to >i*u.

Old Wild. If yon tl'iuutiiit u n duty, yoa ibSiU
1 tlimk. have sooner dudivucd IL

Young Wild. Sir !

BlllTlSH DRAMA.

StS

I

I
t

I

Otd Witd. Was it quite so decent, Jndc, to be
sift weeks in tuwn, umI concent jrourH'lt nnly from
ni« ?

Young WUd. -SiK weeki ! 1 have scarce been
six huun.

O/d Wiid. Come, cotuc; 1 atn better inturm-
ed.

IWn^ Wiid. Indeed, fir, yaw arc impou-d up-
on. This gcnttemnii (ntioiti, lint, i^iic uic tlie
Icaire, to have iht* liummr ofuitroiliirint; lu yon).
ihi», sir, is (he murquts do Chnttenu lirillimir. uf
an uiiient hoiiu; in Orittaiiv ; ultn, irnvplluu
throoch England, chute to nnlca Oiford IW umw
time tne place of lii<» resideooc, where 1 Imd the
bapoiiMH of his acnuiiinliiacc.

Old WttJ. UucH tu- s^ak Rnati^h?

Tomg niU. Not tluL-iuly; hut undcrataoda it
perfectly.

Pap. Pray, »ir

Otd Wild. Any services, iur, that I can render
you here, you iimy n-adily command.

Pap. Reautoufi tChomirur.

Youn^ WtUL 'V\\iy Kcntlcmoo, I say, ur, whose
e|nalitT «od country are siilVicii'iH securiiiet lor liis
\exTUMjt will auurc yuu, tJiut ye&tcrday we IcH
Otfora to^ctlier.

Old Wtlfl. In«kid !

J^p. Cerfcroi,

Old Wild. This is anuoinjc * I was at the tame
bme informed of luwthercircuui^uKc, too, thnt,
1 confess, taadc nie a httle unea»y, a& it inter-
fered with a ravourite ^^heine of my own.

Yomrng WUd. Wliat could that U*, pnvr, ••ir ?

Oid WUd. That you luid coucc-i\ td n tiulcut
afcctioM firMT a liiir lady-

Yimmg RW. .Sir!

Oid Witd. And hwt pven her very gHlhnil niid
very npentive proofs of your pfisaiuii.

Young WiU Mr. sir !

OU W'td. Particularly last night; music, col-
kaiofH^ b«UA, and lire-works.

yoNn^ Witd. Monsii-ur le ntiuqiii^ ! and pray,
sir, who could tell vau all ihi&f

Old Wild. All old friend of your*.

I'osiii^^ WiJd I[» nrunp. if vuu ple-ise ?

OU Wild. Sir Jiuuc« Klliot.

Feauur WUd. Yes ; I ihunght be was the man.

OU Wild. Yourrcvon?

l^ovn; Wild. Why, sir, though sir James Kl-
lioc b*s a great many pood qualities, and is, upon
ibe whole, a valuable man. ynt he hu<i one fault
which has long deterouMd uic lo drop his ac-
quamtouce.

Old Wild. What may Uiut be?

Yomng WUd, Why, vou cau't, ur, be a strao-
■tr Ur hts prodigious skill in tliu trati-ller's ta-

OU WiU. How f

Y«mmg Wild. Oh, nntorioiis to n proverb ! His
ftitnAii, who are tendct oi' hu lame, gloss ovcr-
Ibb foible, by cnlllnfr him »n agreeable novelist;

tell ye more lies io an boor, than all the drcu-
lattQ^ libraries, put together, will publish tu n

'U/./ Wthl. Indeed •

Y'HtHfi Wild. Oh. Ite is the modern Mnmlcville
It Oxt'iin) : Ik* wu.s aUvnys disUnguiblicd by the
rarerioii!. appellation of the Bouncer.

0/d Wil.i. Vinazins I

YiMinp Wdd. Lord, sir, he is m> well nn>ler-
strod in hi-< own fonnlry, that, at the last Here-
ford a^si<e, a CAUse, as clear as the Min, uns al>-
wJutrly thrown away by his being merely meit-
tiunrd !!■* a witness.

Old Wild. A Btranpc tiim !

Yottn-i Willi, t'liaccountable. But there, I
tliiiik, they went a little loo far; fur, if it had
come to an oulli, I don't thtnic he would have
bounced, neither ; but ,in ciimmon occurret>ces,
there is no rcpcatint; aftrr him. Indeed, my
l^reot renstm for dropping bira, vms, lluit my cre-
dit hegoiL tu be a tittle suspected, too.

Pap. Pffir KCiiilcroun!

Old Wild. Why, I nerer heard this of him.

YuuHf: Wild. That may be : biit can there W.
Ik htrungrr pronf nf his practice, than the Ham he
haft been telline you of fire-norbs and tfac Lord
knowVwhat ! And, 1 (lore hwear, t>ir, be was vr-
ry fluent ami Aorid m his description .'

0/d II ././. Extremely.

YoMnf! Wild. Yes, tiiftt Is juM his way ; and
not a !>y!lable of trutti from the bcgnming to the
ending, marquis!

Fap. Oh, dufe is all a ficbnOf upon mine ho-
nour.

Yntinfi Wiltl. Yi»u sec, sir

Old Wiid. Clearlv- I really can't help pity-
ing the pufir mnn. I have heard uf people, wbo.
by long Ikibit, become a kind of conatitutional

Yaung: Witd. YoorobeerraUoa isjust; that is
exactly bis cnsc.

Pap. I'm BUrc it's yours. [Atidc

Old Witd. Well, sir, I suppose wo stmll lec
you this evening?

Young n^ld. The marquis has on npnointioeDt
with some of his countrymen, whirh I Imve pro-
mised to attrndi besides, sir, as he in an csdrc
straniier in town, be may want my little Mrvices

Old Wild. Where can 1 bcu you in about an
hour? 1 IwTO a slv>rt visit tu make, ia which you
are deeply cuacemcd.

Yitung Wild. I shall attend your command*;
but where ?

Old Wild. Why, hcrr. Morquisi I am your
obedient scrtunt.

Pap. I'olrc tfTziteur tret kumide.

[Ent Hid Wild.

Young Wild. So, Pnpillion, lltat di^cully is
diiipaiched. I Uiink I Oin even witli sir James
for bis iQttlitig.

Pap. Most in^i-niuusly luuna^ed! but are ftot '
afradof^ie comequcnce^

316

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FOOTE.

Young nVd. T 600*1 cootprclieDd tou.

Pap. .\ t'ljtun- ex^Innuuon between tlie par-
ties.

Ytjunf! Wild. Thnt mn)r cmbiirTB» : but iht
tin U diauiit. I warrant J will brit^ myself

Pap. It is ia vnin for rae to advise.

Young Wild. V\ liy, to sn\ tnilh, I do bpgin lo
find mv nslem nlti^nded ntllt dMn<j,t<r. Givo mi.-
vour hmid. Papilliuti^ wiU relunn.

Ptrp. Ah, Mt!

Young Wiid. I p(»itivc1if will. Why, this
piwiice m.iy, in lime, dotrny my credit.

J'ap. Tliut i^prttty WfU done already. [j<«irfr.]
Ay, think iif thai. sir.

Young U'^itf. Well, if I don't turn wit the

merest dull iiiactcr-nr-fncl fc-llitw lliii, PwjmI-

limi, 1 tuutt M.'iiM>lc a hillct Vo my new lUiuc. 1
think, l»er name n

fop. Godfrey; Iicr Talhcr, an ItKlin Ruver-
nor, ^fJUI up iu the stfouR room nt C'Hiruiia, li-fi
her nil his wealth : thv hi c% near Miss Grautliuiii,
by rirow('n(»r-sr|u;ire,

Ycung li'i/J. AjTwernor! Oho! Bn»heU of
rupees Bitd pcf ts o»' iiai;<>da.*, I reckon. Well, I
tone to be rmmnai^ne ^^^ *'"^ "'^ [rctitlemnn
Vf'M u>on return : I will liisten to fitiibh my Inter.
But, I'Kpiilion, what cnulrl my Father mean by a
visit, in which I am dtvply roneerned ?

Pup. I e^n't piie«s,

Youitg Wild. Ishntl Itnnw presently. To MiftS
flmllVev, fomrtTly of Calcutta, nmv reiiding in
O^o^^cilo^-M)ua^e. Pnpillion, I won't tell her a
word of H lie.

Pap. Von won't, sir?

Yoftp HV/rf. No; it would \te ungcncroHs to
dcccire a lady. No ; I will be open, candid, and
aincere.

Pap. And if you ure, it will be the first tiine.

[Fa-nnt.

8CENEII. — An apartment in Miss Gkakt-
iiah'» houte.

Snttr Miss Graxthau amd Miss Godfrev.

Jtfuj God. And yon really like this gallant
■park'

Miu Gran. Prodigiously I Oh, Vm quite in
love with his aMunnice ! I wonder who he !» :
be can't hare been long in tow n : a ymiifE ft'ltow
of bit ea»y impudenrc muit have soon made \m
way into the best of company.

aJtU God, Uy way of amusement, he mav
prove no disa^recnbtc acquaintance; but Toil
can't, surety, have any serious desi|:iis upon him?

Vliwt Orun, fnderd, but I have.

Atiii Gud. And poor mf James Elliot is to be
■rdcd at oitce i
diMn Gran. Oh, nn !

'i« Ood, What is your iotciitioa in regRrd to

Jl/t« Grati. llcy ? I can't tell you. Perhaps
if I don't tike this new man better, I may marry
him.

Mitt Gwt. Thnn art a strange, giddy pirl.

fl/ific Gran. Qinte the rcverw; a perfect pai-
icm of pnidenre; why, would you have nic less
careful of tnv person, titan my pur^e ?

Mm Gild. My dear ?

Alui Ornti. Why, 1 rty, child, tny fortune b^
iug in m'»ney, I have wjine in Indm-bonds^

in the bnnl', some on this loan, some c

othf-r! »»> tliat if one fnud fails, I have a soR
resource in the rest.

Mm God. Very irur.

Milt Gtan. Well, my dear, just so I nuMH^e
uiy lore-atVninc 1(1 shoidd not tike this maa—
if he "ihould not tile nie — if we >hoiild qoirrrl
— it", if— or in sliorl, if »ny of the ifs >ho«dd hap-
(fpu. whidi you know break eripa^croent* (wrry
day, why, by ihis mcan^ I slialJ be never ai
a lo.<i<^.

Mia Cod. Quite provident ! Weil, and pr«y
iin how many diArent securities hare yoa il
preseni pl«ced out your love?

Misf GrrtH. *nirec : The sober sir .fames FJ*
liut; the new .America-man; and thiimamin;!
expect a forin:il proposal from an old frimd ni
my father.

Mill God. Mr WildioB?

Mitt Gran. Yes; but I don't rerlcon minh
upon him: for you know, my dear, what can I
do with an aukward, raw, roll^e riili ! HnjaEk
upim sccocid thoughtN thnt mayn't be too M
neither ; for as I must have the fafJiKmkC
nf him, he may be easily moulded 10 iK*
mind.

Kntcr a Servttnt,

Ser. Mr Wilding, madam.

Miis Gran. Sliow him in. [£r»t Srrmit—
Vou need nut go, my dear : w« have m parting
lar hu<tines<.

Mist God. I woiider, now, what she ealh |W
Hcular business.

En/erOi.D Wildisc.

Old Wild. Ladies, your senant. I wait aw
you, madam, with 11 reqoeM from my vm, w
lie may be pcnuittcd the honour of Lissioe 1W
luind.

Mis$ Gran, Yuur son n m town, ilm t

Old Willi. ]Jc came Inst ni^tit, mailani; W
though but just from the onjversitv, I think I
may venture In afiirm with as little 'the nr of >
pedant a.«-^

Mis.i Gran. I don't, Air Wildine, qoevlwotk*
occoinplishiueiits of your son ; ATOAlnJI 01
tltat his heiog descended Imni the uM
of my fikther is lo nio the strongest
(ion.

Old Wild. You botumr me, SMib

FOOTE.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

317

Miu Gran. But, air, I hnre sometliing to

•■y ,

Otd Wild. Prujr, niadam, speak out ; it ii im-
poMihle to hf too cipliinc on these important oo
CBfimia.

J/iM Gran. Wliy tlicri, Mr. to a mnn of jour
wiadrnit and cxftcricnrc, I ne«d not ubwrvc, thnl
tbc Ion afa p^u-eiit to 'nhiiiwI aii«t diiYCt ut this
aoleniii cnM», Imsf made a greati;r dif^ree of per-
•onol pniHpncc nrccasarr iti me.
^^W HVW. Pcrfccilj nshi, madam !
_ '«! Gran. We live, sir, io u very censorious
world; a youni; vDioaii can't be too much on
her guard; nor should I chfK>«o to admit aiiT
man in the quality of a lorer, tf there was not nt
UmM a itrung probability'—

OU Wild. Ufa more intiitate connection. I
hope, madam, you have hcnrtl uothiog to the dis-
adrvntacv of mv son ?

Miti Gran. S'ot a Bvllahle : but you ku<>w,
■tr. tliere ore such tfaii^ in nature asunaccouut-
■Me aotipaifaies, aversions that we take nt first
s%|iL I should be glad there could be no dan-
ger of tbaL

Old Wild. I understand you, madam: you
sliall hare all the •mti'ifnrtion imagtnabtc: Jack
is ta meet me immediutely ; I will conduct him
under your window ; and if his titture has the
nusfortunc to di^plcniM;, 1 wilt take care his arl-
dm-sc^ »l)nl| never t^cnd you. Your most
obcilif^nt servant. [Rrit.

Mi\i Gran. Now, thtrrc is a polite, Miisiblc,
old tntiicT for you !

3/iu God. Yes; andn rery discreet, prudent
danf;hter he is likely xo h.-ive. t)fa, you arc a
frcmt hypocrite, Kitty !

JSnffr a Srrvani.

Ser. A letter for you, madam. [7b 3fui Ood-
rBBT.J Sir Jnmcs Uliotto wait on your ladyship.
[To Miu (taA^TllAM.1

Mia Gran. Lord, 1 liope he won't stay loaf;
hre. He come?, and seems entirely wrapt up in
the dismals , Whot can be the matter now?

Entrr StR Jamls F.t.l.lOT.
r&r Jamei. In nasattig by yoiir door, I tixA
libcrtTt maaam, of enquiring af>er your
Jih.

JWh Gr«M- Very obli^ng. I hope, sir, you
KOgred a Aivoumble account ?

Sir J«m€*. I did nut know hot y>-iu might have
oneht eald la»i ii«hL

Jfiil Gran. Cold^ why, Mr, I hupe I didn't
lieejp with my hed-cbamhtr window o|ieii !
iuT Jamet. Madam !
3li«f Grtin. Sir !

•Jtmta. No. madam ; but it wns rather
wn 10 SUV so late upon ttic water,
f Grtin. Opon the water !
Sir JiiTRfi. Not bui the variety nf nmusc-
tneutS) It rouit be owned, were a solGcicut tcmp-

IMiOQ.

Mia Gratu What tan he be driving at now ?

Sir Jamtx. And pray, madam, what think, voa/
of Young Gilding? is not ha » %Wjf, agwabley
sprightly —

A/iu Gran. I never give my opioioo of people
I dou't kuow.

Sir Jamr%. You dtm't ktiow him f

MtuOran. No.

Sir Jama. And hu* father 1 did ooc meet at
your door !

Miu Gran. Most likely you did.

Sir Jamrs. I am t(lad yuu own that, however ;
But I'or the son, yi*u never

Mi** Gran. Set eves upon hkliL

S*r JuiHCl. Ileaity f

MU» Gran. Rcfitly.

^> Jamrt. Finely supported. Now, madam,
do you know that one of us is just going lomnke
a verv ridiculous Hf^re i

Miu Gran. Sir, I never had the Icaut doubt
of your tntcnts lor esccUing in tliat way-

Sir James. Madnin, you du me honour : but it
docH not happen to tall to my lot upon this oc-
casion, however.

Altu Graa. And that ia a wander ! — itbaty
then, I am to be the ftxil of the comedy, I Bn|>*
pose *

Sir Jam. Admirably rallied ! But I shall
da&li tfic ^irit of tltal triumphniit lau^h.

Mift Gtan, I dare the attack. Come on,
sir!

Sir James. Know, tlHni, and blush, if yoo ore
not lost I'l .ihniiic as dead to decency, that I
sm nu siniiii;er tu la&t night's traiisactinBS.

AXiii fiVfin. Indeed !

^> Jamfs. From your 6nt entering the bw|;e
at ■'Noinorset-ltous^ to your lost bodinc at
Whitrholl.

Miu Gran. Surprinng!

Sir Jamn. (Jupids, collations, finuts, fire*
works, nil hnre renctied inr.

Mits Gran. Whv, vou deal in tnagic !

Sir Jamrs. My iiitclligencG is as natural as it
is iiifalUbtc.

A/ix) Grtm May 1 be indulged with the nuDc
of your itfi^nner?

Sit Jama. I'rTcty, madam. Only tlic very in-
dividual spark to whose folly you were induUcd
fur this ):aHant pmfusio'L

Afim Gran. But hi% name t

Sirjmnes. Y^ng Wilding.

Afm Graft. Vou had llu8 story from htmF

.Sir JaMis. I 'lad.

Afiw Gran. From Wilding ! — ^TTiat b anuo-
in(j!

Sir James. Ob, oh ! wtiat, VOU arc confounded
at Inst, and no ey osion, no ^uMrrfu^e. no —

Jfi'tt Gran. Look'e, Sir James; what yoo ran
mean by thi-< -^traniiie story, and very extRi'>titi-
nnry hcho^iour, it n imp'HvbJe fur me to t^oo'
crivc ; hut il it is nii-UMt lu nu (irtificr t't palliate
yiiur inridelity to me. less patos would have aa-
swered your purpose.

31B

BRITibU DRAMA.

[FOOTE.

Sir Jama, O^ tst»Aaxa^ I know you are prv-
videtl.

Miss Gran. Matchless insolence ! As you
can't eipert liiat I nhould be prodigiously [tlea^-
ed wit)) the uibject uf this visit, you won't
he !Hjrpri»ed at my wishit^ it as short ai {mm^
tibia.

Str James. I don't wuudcr you (cc\ fjaiit at my
prewnc-e; but you may rcsc Mcure yuu will have
iu> iiUenuiitinn Tur tite ; niid I really think it
would be a pity to pert two people so «aactly
fanned for eoch othtr. Your Indr^ip's »er\-aat.
[Oonr^.] — But, itiudiun. Uutu^K your sex aemrcA
jou from any farther rc»eiitiufDt, ytt the present
object of yi»ur favour umj have sonietliii>c to
fear. [Erit.

MiiM Gran. Very well. Now, my drar, I
hope yuu vt'^i acLnuwicdct; tltc prudciirc of iny
plan. To ^Itat a pretty condition I must Iwvt:
betm reduced, if my liupes hod rested upun one
knrcr nlouc !

iWiii Gai. But are yuu 5ure tliat yoor method
10 multiply tuay noi^be Uie means to reduce Uic
number of your slaves.*

ilfiu Gran. Impossible ! — Why, can't you
discern that this flam ufiiir Jamea Elliot's is a
mere fetch to favour lus retreat?

Mist God. And you uever suw A^'ildins ?

Mitt Graa. Never.

Mit$ Gifd. There is s^jiik mystery in tliis. I
have, too, here in inv liaitd, oiuiUter mortinoktion
that YtiU mwit endure.

Afits Gian. Ot'nhfttkuid?

Jl/iu Cod. A little allied to the la&t : it is
from the mititnry ^p&rk yui met this muniiuf;-

MifS CraH. \Vliut ore the ojnlents?

Mut God. Only a foruml dccluratinn of love.

Jl/u3 Gran. Wliy, yuu did not m^i: liiiii ?

Mtsi Cod. But it »ecins lie did me.

jt/tu Oran. Mi|;ht 1 |>rruMe it ^ — Battles — nn
nnumlssu fatal — caiuKin-balls — Cupid — spring a
mine — cnieliy— die on a counlervrarp — eyes —
artillery — deatlh^tbe Stranger ! It it iuldrt«sed
to you.

Mist Gad. 1 told you no.

Aim O rat. \"u ndl pnrdon tne, luy dear ^
but I rcaily can't compliment you upon tlie su{>-
pmilion ol n conquest at my expence.

Afttt God. That wiuld be enough to make me
vain : But why do tou thiiiL it was su impos-
sible ?

Mitt Grmn. Aiid do you positively^ want a
reason f

Mitt Cod. Positively.

Jl/ii> (iran. Why, llirii, 1 oluill refer ynu for
an ainwtr to n faithful counsellor, and most ac-
comuiisiicil critic.

Min Ood. Who may tiiut be?

Mitt GtVH. I'be mirror upon yoar toilette.

Mitt God. Perh^s we may diflcr in judg-
■mt.

Min Gran. Wh/» cao glosses fiattcr i

J/ut God. I ran't say I ihint that necessary.

Mus Grau. .Suucy eQoue;h ! — But conic, duld,
dou't let us quarrel upon so Mbunsiral an ocoa-
•uoit; titne will expliiin the whole. You wiU
tiivour me «ith yuur opinion of Vouni; Wikbi)|
Hi my niiiddw.

Mitt Cod. I attettd you.

Mu* Gran. Vou will furiiive n\e. inrdonr. the
little hint I drop! i it nts mf^ini inenlv to feno
you ; fitr indt-cd, child, theru i» no qtuUityr xj m-
suHerable in a young woman m »elf-t.'oticcit aad
vanity.

Miu God. YoD are most prudigiifoslyr oblig-
ing.

Mitt Cr„n. I'll follow yom Mi*s. [Esil Misl
Goui-REY.] IVrt thins;! — :Jltc iirows iummdenrii^-
lyr yrly. | always thoueltt her nukward ; bui
she lb DOW on al»i>liitc fright.

Mist Gi"i [n'ttfiin.] MiMj Miss GnuitntD,
your lirru's at blind.

^tiu Gffui. 1 conio.

Miu Gwi. As X live, iIm very individual
stranger !

Mta Gnrn. No, sure ! — Ob Lord, let me hart
a pti-p.

Mttt God. U is be, it i* lie, it is bo !

[£n«ai.

SCENE lli^Ti* ttrwi.

Enter Out WtLPtKlTs Yockg WitDivD, nd
P*rn.no>-.

Old Wit J. There, Marquis, you must panfrm
mc; for, though Paris be inure cumpacl, yn
surely Lmdon cover* a much mrealiT qnaatirv— t
Oh, .lack, look at tluit corner Ikium: ; buw i'rt
like it?

Young W'ilfl. Very well ; but I don't see toy
tiling cKtraurdiuary.

old MUd. Iwisli, though, jrou were tbtt Wiier
of what It cuntKins.

Young Wild. What may tliat Iw, sir?

Oid Vi'ild. The iniblress, yoy rugue tom - a kat
girl, :uid an imincuse fortune; ajr, and a prudcM
sensible wench into the bnroiun.

young tiitd. TinKi euuu|;h yet, or.

Oid Wild. I don't see ihut : You ore, M, iha
la&t of our race, and { should be glad to ms
sonic probability of its conUnudncc.

Yflitiifi Wild. Suppose, sir, you were to reptal
yuur endeavours; you liave cordially my a»
sent.

Oid mid. No ; rather too late in life for 6mX
expcnineuL

YoitH^ \i''iid. Why, sir, would you rvcmuiMBd
a condiuon t« me, tjtat you disapprove of joitf-
self?

Old WiU Why, sirra^ I bare done ny ^
to the public and my family, by pruducii^ vat.
Now, sir, it is iocumbent ua yxni to disducp
your debt.

Yifung Wild. In the collegie cimi, I shall bg
leave tu tick a little longer.

I

I

OU WiU. Whj, then, tu be sorioui, sou, this
i« the very hiMiiieJis I wanted to Inik uUh you
about. In a vrord, I wisti you iaarri«d; and; by
prtwidiiig the lady of thnt mniiston for the pur-
pai^e, ] Iwve proved myMll' both a fatlwr and a
friend.

i'oitHg Wifd. I'arbcit frommr toqncsUonyimr
cmrc ; y«t sofiK- prcparalioa fur »o iinporunt u

- OU H'lU. Ob, [ will allaw you a neck.

Young Witd. A little more kuowlcdgc of the
w<ffld.

Oid WUti. That yoo muy shuly nl Iciwirr,

Young WHii. Nuu iili pMropr is in amis, my
dcsien t^« to tcrre my cuuiiin* nbrond.

Old fnU. Yuu will be luil 'n» uiofal to it by
rtrmitiiif; Utv sui>ji'Ct> tit tiume.

YotfUg WiM. \ou are then resolv-ed ?

(;/,/ MilJ. Viti-d.

Young Wild. Positively?

Old H'lW. Peremptorily,

Yiruu/; Wiid' No |frnver3 —

Vid Wild. Can iiiuvt- mo.

Y*rkHg WUd, How ilie douce sliall 1 get nut
of thi« toil? [Jjft/r.] — Hut buwiow, sir. ihcir
should be lui in»>irmouiitable]onjrction ?

Otd M'lid. Oh, leave ihv recuociting tJiat to
me; I nm an excilleut casuist.

Yuunx Wild. But 1 Kiy« tir, if it should b«
imp^n^itplc tu nbvy \\>\ir couinianda?

iJld Wild, lmpo»iblu !~>I don't midc:ntuiid
you.

Youug mid. Oh, s.ir ! — Bol, ou my k»c«s
fint let iiic crave vuur pardon.

Oid Wild. Fariiun! iW what?

Yttutf Wild. I fear I have lust all title tu
yoar futin* favour.

Old Wtld. Which way?

Yitumf! Wild. I hare done a deed

Old WUd. Ltd liear it.

Yottmg WUd. At Abin^on, in the county of

Old WiJd. Well )

Ynung Wild. I am— ^

O/d WiU. Whnt f

] (wnc W'ld. Alrcndf aiarried.

Old Wild. Married !'

i*iifi. Mnrrtvd !

Yonne Wtid. Married.

Old Wild. Aad Mtth'iut rny consent?

YoHif! Wild. Cou>)»elled ; realty forced I Oh.
lir ! did y -Ml hut know all tlic circunulaticek of
mv sad, Knd story, vuur rage Mould vnm coiir-
Vcri iiM^lf tu |iilv.

iNd WUd. Whst an uulucky event !— B«it rise,
ami let ine Itear it all.

Y^img lYiU. The thame aitd coitfusiuii J now
feel, readers that task* at present, impovsible ; 1
wual (lirrwfure rely fur the relation on lliic guwl
^jfif** iif tluk filillifiil friend.

Pmp. Uci ftu ! I D««er beard one tvgrd of the
^ttsr.

Old Wild. Come, Marquis ! favour me with
tite particulars.

Pap. lipi>n my rard, sire, di« affiiir hat •»
sli'K'L luc, ditt 1 am almoK as iocapable to tell
de talc a^your »on.^[ro Yovko Wild.] — Dry-
a your ttun. ^^'hat can I say, sir?

Young Wild. Any thing — Oh ! —

[Secmi to tcecp.

Pap. You see, sire —

Old Wild. Your kind concern at tha nuftfur-
tuur> of my family, calb for the most grateful
uclinimlcdernenl.

/*n/i. I)is U great mi»fortunH. sans dontc.

Old Wild. Out if y»u, a stmn^r, arc thus af-
fcrtcd, what miu»I a fattier feel !

Pap. 1 >ti, beaucoup ; a great drol ronre.

Old Wild. But biune the evil i« wiilioui a re-
medy, let us know the wont at oooe. Wel^
Kir, at Abin]|;lon?

Pap. Yes, at Abinf!ton.

O'd Witd. In the county of Berfai?

Pap. Out ie rt|;ht ; In the countv of Berks.

l'i/tti.js Wild Oh, .>Ii !

Old Wild. Ah, Jack, Jack ! are all niy hopci
ihcn — ^lllu^h I dread to ask, yet it must b«
known; hIio is the girl, pray, sir r

Pup. De girl, sir — [A$ide to YocjtG WiLD-
,N«J \Vh.»*httn I sav?

1 ouitt Wild. Any body.

Pap. For dc pH, I can't say, upon my vard.

Old WUd. I k-r condition ?

Pa/i. Pay K<^iide tonditiun; dat is to bo sure.
But dere is no \\c\^— {Aside to Youso Witi>-
iS'G.j — Sir, I am quite A>^rouiid.

Old WUd. Yes I read my shame in hit re-
»ervc : some urtful hosfv?

Pap. Dat may be. \'at you call huMy '

Old Wild. Or perhaps some cttmmou crcaluref
Dut Cm prepared to licar the worst.

Pap. HavL- you no rnercy f

Y'tt'ig Wild, ril step to your relief, sir.

Pap. <) I^wd, a happy deltvenuice !

Young WUd. Tti(*U)£h it is almost death for
me to speak, Y<^t it would he infamous to let the
reputation of the lady siiffbr by my ulciine. She
iby sir, uf au ancient Uouse, and unblenushed cba-
rorier.

Old Will. Tliat is something.

Young WiLl. And though her fortune may
not he t:(|nHl to ilie wann wishes of a food f*-
tlier, vet

Old Wild. Her nam« ?

YoHiig WUd. Miss Lydift Sybtliorp.

Old mid. Syhthnrp f— I nc%cr heard of the
name. — But pwjcccd.

Yitun^ WU'l. The latter end of last long vaca-
tion, I went with «ir Jdiucs Elliot, to pass a few
dnv» at a new purchase of his, near Abin^u.
T1i«re, at an aswtmbly, it nos my chance to meet
nitt! danc-e wiith this lady.

Old WUd. Is she handsome ?

Young WUiL Oh, sir, more beautiful

Otd WUd. Nay, no tmptures ; but go on.

•320

BIUTI:3H DRAMA,

[FOOTE.

Young WiiiL But to her beaut;r slic adtis po-
litenean, nflabiliry, and (ltM:rclioit ; unleu she
for^ilcd that cha'ncLcr by fixing her atScction on
me-

Old mid. Modestly oburvcri.

Younu M'Ud. I wu d(?(errcH frnm a politic
dcclDrnimu of my piuMun, dreudini* tlic ttcunti-
ims of ber fortutic would prorc an objection to
you. Sooic private intcrvicwft »hc permitted.

Old H'Ufl. Wa«tbi»t »odcccot?^Bulloveand
pnidcnrc, nudiie^s aiid reason.

Youns WilJ. One tatal cvoniiiK, tlie twentieth
of September, if I nitttate not, wu were iii ii r*-
cirrd room ioimcciiily cicbiuiuiiiK mutual tow>,
when bcr father, whom we expected to sup a-
broad* rumc suddenly upoo us. I had ju^t time
Lo conceal iiivKlf in a closet.

OU ll'tU.' What, iiii')hKn-cd by him t

YoHnp WUd. Entirely. But, as mv ill slara
would have it, a cat, of whom my wife is vastly
fond, had, a few days before, lodgt^ a litter nf
kitteuft Ml tJic saute place : I unhappily in>d upou
one of the broorl; which so provoWd Xhv iinipln-
f*\)\v motlicr, itiat »hc flew at mc with the fury
of a tiger.

Ofd Wild. I hnve obwrved those creatures
verr tierce in dt>f<incc o( tticlr young.

Pap. I «haJl hate a cat R» lonf; h» I Uio.

Young Mild. The iwise roused tl>e oW gen-
tloman'a attention : he opened the door» nnd
tKcre discovered your son.

PdfK Unlucky.

Yunng Wild. I ni»hcd 10 tho door; but fatal-
ly tay foot &lipt at the t»p of the stairs, and down
Icai'ne, tun)blitl^ tu llie bottum ; ibc pistol in
my hand went oH by arctdciii: this alarmed lier
three brochen in the parlour. w'Ik>, with nil tJicir
lerrnntf, rushed witji unitnl (un'-v iiikiu uic

Olti Wild, And f<u Mirpriscd you !

Yottng Wild. No, sir; with my aword I for
•oroc dme made n gallant defence, and sliould
bare inevitably escaped; but a raw-b<ioed, over-
grown clumsy cortk-wench, struck at my bwurd
with a kitcbtn-pf)ker, broke it in two, and com-
pelled mc to surrender at discretion ; the con>e-
queiKX of which is obviuua enough.

Old Wild. Natural. The lady's rcputatioo,
your condition, her beauty* your lo^c, all com-
oincd to make marriage au unavoidable mea-
sure.

Young Wild. May I f»npe, then, you railicr
tlunk mc unfortunul« ihoa odpoblc f

Old Wild. Why, your utuatioa is a wffideni
excuse : all I blame vou for, it, your keeping it a
Kcrct from roc. With Miss Grantham. I ^nll
make an aukward fif^re : but tbe best npolmn is
the tnith ; I'll basltn ami oxplain it to her alV*
Oh, Jack, Jack, thi-t ii a momfyiuff buunBatt

Fdwii^ Wi/d. Must molancholy !

[Ej-it Old Wii.»r»e.

Pap. I am omazcd, sir, that yuu have to rarc~
fully coocealrd this tntnaoction from aae.

yoiiiHg,Utld. Heyday! what! do you bclietc
it too?

Pap. Relieve it ! why, i» not the itoiy of ibe
raarriuKv true ?

Young IVild. Not a syllable.

Pap. And Uie cat, and ttic pistol, mkI the
poker f

Ytm$tg Wild. AU iurratioa. Aim! were yov
really uilen in ?

Pap. l^rd, sir, bow wbi it fMMiiblc to aroMl
it? — Nferry on us! what a rullection uTcircoin-
^tances hare you crowded to^etH^ !

Younc Wihl. GeniuA ! the mere ciTects of Ju-
nius. Pupillioii. But to deceive TDu, who so tho-
rouiihly knuw uie !

Pap. But (u prevent that for the futnve^ coaM
yuu not just fiivn vour humble serv«M ahtlit,
when yuu arc bent upon bounriacf tlciidn,
sir, if you recollect your fixed rnotatiuD to re-
form !

Yountt Wild. Ay, u to matter of Tbdcv, the
mere sport and frolic of inventiuti : but id cueof
necosjty — why, M1S6 Godfrey wiifi at stak», Mrf
I was forced Ut use all my fiti

Enter a Servant^
Sfr. Two letters, air. fCnt

Pap. There are two thin^ in my ooasoeMi^
my nin.Mcr will never nuiU ; u pruaint tit. Mid ■
ready excuse for teilincof it.

Youtif Wild. Hum ! buatoeu b^ns to tluctea
upon us : A clmlienge fit>ui sir Janice Elliot* u4
a rendezvous from the prrity Miss G«^fkt
They shall b(>th be observed, but in tlieir of^;
llmrcfore, Uie lady first. Let uie sec — I hwv not
been twenty hours in tuwn, and I Imvi; ahnali
ICot a clmllcnge, a miMiess, and is wife ; aan. k
I can get enpiKcd in u chancery -suit, I shall Imk
niv hnnd» pretty full uf cmphiymeat. Cftnw,lV
pilliun, we have no time to be idle.

[Emm/.

FOOTB.]

»

I

BRITISH DRAM:V.

ACT HL

SCENE I. — An apartment in Miss GoDpaiY's
hoaie.

Sntfr MiM Cr.A.VTaAii and Mrss CoDFncv.

Aliti Giti, Upon my word, Mim Grantlmm,
tilts 1% but an icltc piece of curtn^ity: you know
the man is already disposed of', ond ihcrufnrc —

Him Grau. That is tnic, aiy dear; but there
it io tfaik affiur Bomc myntcry, that 1 must uiid
will bare expliined.

Mut Gfd. Come, come. I knnwr the pio-
vmace. Vuu can't brooL tliut tlti« spsrlc, tlioui;h
«ven ■ innnicd miio, should throw off his alic-
gnnce to ynu, and cotur ii volunteer iu my ser-
»ice.

jViif Gran. And so you tukc the fact for
gmaced?

JUia GtnL Have I not )iU letter.'

Jkiiu Gran. Concpited cwatiire ! I fancy,
mm, by your vast allcetion for lhi» letter, it is Uie
first of the kiod you have ever received.

Miss God. Nay, my d«or, n-hy should you be
piqued at rae? the fault is nntt« nf miDe; I
drspC no lla^dk^^rhipf ; I threw out no lore; ttie
had mme williiiclv to Imnd, vuu know.

Afiu Gran. Mcliiplioncal, too ! Wbiit, yoo
■rv fcttioe up for n wit, as well as a tielle !-^ —
Why, reiljy, mndnm, to do you ja»tice, you hove
full as fine p^cten^tOIl» to one as the other.

MiM God. I fancy, madani, the world will
not fnrm their judfCPimt of etcher from tlic re-
port of 0 disappiinted rival.

Mia Gmn. Hival ! ndmimhly milled — Rut,
let me tell you, loadam, iJiit vtrt of Mmvioiir,
mwdwii, at your own houfie, whatever may l>e
your beauty, ii do great proof of your breeding,
—datn.

Miu God. As to that, madnm, I hope I shall
•Iwm^ show a pntper rcftentimnt to any insult
that ts oBiLred me, kt it he in who«e house it uilJ.
Tlie aaat;nntinD, mitdiiiu, both tiiuc and place,
WM of TiMr own cnnirivins.

JI/tM Gran. Miphly well, nudam !

Mit* God. Bac if, drcadint; a roortifcstinn^
voa thiftk proper to alter your plim, your chair, 1
triiTTe, is ID wBitiag,

Uiu 6'rdn. It is, moflnm ! tlieii, let it «»it —
Oh, what } iltat was your xrliemc ! but it won't
iske, niiu : the contnirani» is a little too slial-
iow.

jifin God- t don't nndcretnnd fotL

Mat Grmn. Cunnioe creature ! So, all thiiin-
•olencc wM concerted, it smids ; a plot to drii-e
meonl of tlie bouse, that you might have tJie
fcllow all to youneir? but I have n regard for
jamr character, tlioufch tom t»r^lect it. Fie, miss \
« pasaioQ for a married rann f I really Uush for
you!

Mm God. .\nd I mast liocrrrly pily you. —

Vflu III.

But cui-b your rholcr a little t the eoquirv you
arc about to make requires rather a cooler dispo*
xitioti of miitd ; and by this tino tfac bcro is at
han«].

J/wj Grijn. MijhlT well; I am prepared,^
But, Mis* Godfrey, if you rrolly wisli to be ao-
nuitfcd of all artiBcial underttund dealing in
this BtTjir, suffer me, in your name, to manage the
iuter*-itw.

Jlfai God. Most wilUogly: but be will rocoU
lect rour voice.

3Jm Gran. CHl, that is costly altered.

Enter m maid, aho vhi$ptrs Miss GA4XTBA]f,
andesit.

It is lie ; hut hide rour-ttrlf, miss, if you please.

Miu God. Vour bood a little forwarder, laiss;
you may be known, and then, we shall have tlio
liuigua^e of politcuesa inilamed to pnwfa of a
violrni passion.

Miu Gnm. You are prodigioDsly cautious !

SCENE II.— TAc itreet.

Enter YouKC Witojsc.

Young Wild. This rcndetvous ii something in
the .Spanish taste, imported, I suppose, with ttm
|uitar. Ac pre-sent, 1 presume the custom is
conlincd Co the ^reat; but it will descend ; and,
iti a couple of months, I sholl nnt I>e suqiriied
to hear on attomev'a hackncy-clcrk roukji^ at
midnight a milliner's prentice, with an AU>f, A//]/
Crokcr. But that, if I mistake not, (s the tem-
ple; and sec my goddess herself. Miss God-
frey!

[Mifis Graktram appcari at the ftoJdnvjr.

Afisi Gran. Hush !

Young WHd. Am I right, miss?

Miu Grnn, Softly ! fou recei»eH my letter,
I see, sir.

youn^ mid, Aitd flew to ttw appointmeut
with mfirr

Mm Gran. No raptures, I bag! But yott
mutt not suppose this meeting tneant to cnoo»-
rapr your hopes.

Youtie Wild. !Iow, madam !

MtiuGrttH. Oh, by no means, sir ! for^tiboo^
I own yuur figure is pleasing, and your aiiiv«n»-
tion

Miss God. Hold, miss; wbca did I «Tcr ««>-
verMT with biro ? [fVwn witiin,

Miu Graa. Whv, did not you see him io tlie
Park ?

Misi Gad. Tnie, nudan ; but tbe conTenu-
tion wa.s with you.

Miss Gran.' Uless me, you are very difficult I
I sny. sir, iliough ynur perwn may be uneicep-
tionnblc, ypt Tonr chamcier

Young 11 i/d. My character! .

«S

I

s««

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FoOTB-

Mist Gran, Come, come, ymi arc better kuown
than you itiuuiitc.

YouHfi IViitl. I hope not.
JiUu Gran. Your (lamo is Wildiiip.
Youag Wi/J. How Lbc deuce cainc she Uv
lltBt ! 'J'ruc, imuinm.

Mift Gran. Fray, havo you ocver board of a
UiM (iruiii'uiiu?

Yayng W'tid. Frequently.
Afiu Gran. You iimc? And liml you ne\*cr
any tavourablc Uiuu^liu of Uiut Udy : Nov«,
II It ml, iiiii>is.

Young Wifii. If you mcBii as n loTcr, ticvrr.

Tlie Indy Uid luc (lie hufiour to huvc u buiaU tk-

sigii u|ioa Die. '

AtuM God. I hciir every word, iniu. '

Alisi Gran. But you need ntit Icun so heavy

upon mc ! he spenks loud enough u> be Iieiuti !

I hove lieen mid, sir, that —

Yintitfi Wild. Yl-1, mauain, and very Ukcly by
the Judy l)cr«elf.
Alu» GrtiH. Sir !

}nwH^ Willi. Uh, mndam, Ilmve another ob-
lijtatioii "in my pocket tu Mi«k Oniutham, which
inuat bo di>char)2fd in the murning.
3/iM Gran. Of what kind?
Youui: IVtftl. Whv, the lady, fintlinn tin iM
liutnh'e servant nf licr's a hllle Icttiur^u-, Kits
thought tit to adinmiMcr inc in n Jcnious druught,
in order to quicken hi» passion.

Afiu Gran. ^, let mo IcU yuu

HIi$» God. liave a care ! you will betray your-
self.

youR^ Wild. Oh, the whole story will afford
you inlinile diversinii ; ^uch a fiirnii;rt of lijihti
and rea.ti». But, upon my honour, the git4 Ixis a
fertile invention.

Af in Cod. bo\ vthnt, that story wna yuun;
was it?

YauM/( Wiid. Pray, madam, don't I hear ano-
ther ioice?

Mtu Gran. A diiitnnt relation of uubp.

P.verjr !>yUBbli: t'alKr. Bui, sir, we have uiioiher
chnrue against vno, Do yu know any thin|; of
a hidy nt Aliiiietui) }

Yimnfi Wild. I^li^s (ji-atuham »£»>"■ Ves, niii*
dant, I have nomc kuimtcdi>c nf tlini lady.

MiM Gran. You hu\e? Wdl, sir. and titat
being ilie oue, buw could you luive ilic awtt-

Mince

Fwnc Wild, A niotneni*4 pniiriu'c, inaditm !
That la^T, that Berkshire ludy, wdl, 1 can a»9Ure
VOD, prove no hnr tu my hii|K'9.
Mw Gtan. ihm, bir^ no bar ?
Younft H'l/d. Not in the leust, madam; for
that ludy e\i5t« in idea only.
Mia Gruu. No Mich perwin i
YouNg WUd. A mere creature of tlw intagtiia-
ttoti.

AIU$ Gran. Imkcd !

Yitutig Wild. Tlw atMicks of Miss Oranthimi
ncre lo |)owetfutly cufurccdi too, by puerunl au-

OE a

g3^

tttority, that I liad no roeUiod of svoidrng the
t>Iuw, hui by the slteltchiig myself uuder the
coDiuQ^I shield.

\Un Grna. You are not married, then? BaC
wlial credit cxii 1 i;irc to MiC profctAians of a
man, who, in an article of such importance^ ^"^

to n person of 8U("h rr\pec*

Yuuna Wild. Nay, mmlMn, surely MiM
frey ^iiould iu>t ai-cuK mc nf a ciiine her o^a
c-hitrms hnvc occa»>ioncd. Could any other tn»-
livc. \f\it the fenr of lamng ber, prevail on nie 10
tridc witli -A fatlicr, or compel mc to tnfriitee
ihn6e laws, which I liavc httherto so imioUbly
I ubbvrvcd ?

Mils Grrm. Wliat laws, sir?
Yottng Wild. The ftacred laws of irQlh, ma-
daui.

Mtt% Gran: There, indeed, you did muiadf
an infmite viulenct. But wbcDtbe whidc of the
iidiiir is discoiered, will it be lo ea^y to pA nl
of Miib Grantham ? The violence of her *
and tlic old gentleman's obsttnac;^

Yaung Wild, Are uotl)in|; to u. mind
vod.

Mm Gran. Poor Miss Crnntham !
Younti Wild- Ho )uu know htr, nindam?
Mut Gtau. I have beard oi her: butyuOfflri
I suppose, bare beea long on un iatimate foot*
iiitt?

Yimng Wild. Btod up togctlicr fnm cbit-
drcii.

A/hi Gran. Brnvu ! !» site handsome?
Youn^ Wiid. Iler pamt ruiue^ from Fink
and ber fenuue de cbambre ia aa eieeUat w
Ust.

Mitt Gran. Very well! Ilerslmpe?
}iiuN^ WHd. Hray, mndaui, is ttni Curtoa »-
tci-iiicd ihi: best fttay-maker for people iodiBrf
to l'« crookfHl ?

Miss Gran. Hul as lo the qnalities vt btr
mind ; fur iii>>tam-e. her uudcntaiuliug?
Youn^ WHd, Uncultivated.
MlM» Gritn. llri' wii f
t'o'j«« ir»/(/. Borrfwed,
Miii Giau. Her tuate?
Yoiinf: Wild. Triflinit.
Muu Gta». And her temper P
VituHfi Wi/d. Iiiiiitemble.
Miit Grun. A fiiiiittked picture ! Rut cnac.
ibeM! arc not your real thought! - this is a nn^
lite viku lliink duf^ In the vanity nf our tcx.

YiMHfi Wild. Mv hunot sentiments: «cmL M
cuiivinix; you how thoruuj^hly iDdiSiTcni I »•••
diHt Udy, I wiiuld, up«»n my vcr^tcjlv, a» »i**
lake n wjiV fn>m the (imiid Si|;ni'irV xraglr^*'
Niiiv, uiadam, I hope you alt^ »tisbcd?

Mita Gran. And voo wimid nm i» n.plr tan-
kn»wletlg,c ihis befort' the luily's I >
Youaff Wild. Tlic brsl iipportu.
Miu Grun, TlvU I will tukc care to j/sn^**
yiKl. I)nn; voa meet uie at hct boUM?

Young Wild. When?

rOOTE.3

BRITISH DRA\fA.

\

Jkfia Orun. In half an hoar.

YouHg Wild. But won't a dcclaratiun of (bi)
•Ort Hpprtr odd Bt — Q- — -

Atitt Gran. Come, no evasion; yotir cm-
duct and thnrartpr %evm to me m little enuivDcnl,
and I uiMit vvasi nil thift proof at lca» ot ■

J"Mii^ ii'ild. Yoa shiil! have it,

Miu Gran. In hnirRti hour?

TouHg WiM. 'Vim luvtaut.

Mi$s Gr<in. Be ]tuttctunt.

Yt^nt; Wild. Or mny I forfeit ymir fnvnitr.

MiuOrmn. Very wull ; till then, sir, udieu !
Ko*, I think, I hnve mv spark in the toil ; mid
if the ftfllow bus anv ff^linic, if I don't miike him
•mart fur cv^y article ! ('oine, my dear, I nhall
fluid ill Dcrd i>t' Your aid. [Esit.

Tannff Wild. So! I arnnow.I ihink.arrired at
a critical prriod. If I can hut Ketuhrr this

point i(ot why should I doubt itr it i^iiii the

day of ditirr^s only thiit u yjvut man dinplays
his kbUiti«>. Hut t shall want Papiiliun ! where
out iIm p«pp; be f

Enter pAPiLtioK.

YtfuMg mid. So, sir, where have you fae«n
fBOibliiif;?

J*mp. I did not luppow you would wnni

Youm^ WM. Want ! yixi an: iilwnvs out of
the way Here hnvc t been forced to tell forty
lief upon mr own cmlil, and not h single sutd lu
vouch for tite truth n( thctn.

pap. L«nl, »ir, you kitow

i'uumg Wild. Don't plaf;uc ine with your flpo-

*~~ bat it iai lucky for you that I wimt your
CtHDo with me to Miu Grmuhaiii's.
On what ocjn^iou ?

fiiung Wild. An imporunt one: but III pre-

puv yoa u we walk.

Pup. Sir, 1 nni really — 1 could wi^l you would
be m Kood «i to

Ymtm/' Wild. Wliut ! deMTl your friend intlie
beat of boitle ! Oh, you ptdcroon !

Pap. Sir, I wnold do auy thing, but you know
1 have ont taknik

YouHg Wild. I do ; and, for my own soke,
ihall nut ca«k them Um high.

pap. Nowf i suppose iJiu hour i» come when
wc tludl pBv for all.

Yottng Wild. Why, whsil a dasfinlly h^n-

beafted Itut, come, I'ltpiUioii, thi^t tlinll b<'

vour last campaijiu. Uun't druup, luuii : coiilide
in Tour leader, arnl reiucmbcr, Sub autpice Tea-
cnt nil de^erandum,

[Exeunt.

SCENE 111.— An apartment in Miss Grant-

H A u'a Atfiue.

JBal«r a Serronf, amducling in OtD Wildikc.
Scr. My iady, lir, will be at Ivomc itnmeduuc-

ly ; sir JanicJ Elliot is in the ncit room wnittng
her rt'tiirM.

Old Wild. Pray, honest friend, will you tell sir
Jnmes that 1 hv^ the CaTour of a word with him ?
[Krit Srmtnt.] T\\U uncbinking Imy ! lUlf Uio
purpose of my life has been to pliui th)« jcheme
r'ur liik happinriBj and in one hcedlcs* hour has
lie waited all.

Kntrr Sir Jahes Ettior.

Sir, T ndc yonr pardon ; but, upon no intere«tinj;a
•tubjcct, I know you will excuse tnv intrusion. —
Pniv, iiir, of what credit is the 6unily of tbc !>yb-
thorps in Berkshire?

Utr Jiimei. Sir !

Old Wild. I dou't mean as to property; that
I am not solicitous ubuul ; but as to their charac-
ter : Do they lire in reputation ? Arc tlicy re-
spected m the iieitt.libuurhi>od f

Sir Jatnet. The frtmiW of the Sybtborps !

Old Wild, OfdieftVbUKr™.

Str JoMtL Renllv, I don't know, wr.

Old Wild. Not know !

■Sir Jamn. Nn; it is tlic very firkt time I aver
heard of the name.

iUdWitd. I low steadily h« denies, it ! Well
done, baronet ! 1 tiiid JackV account wa« a jutC
one. [Atide.^ Pray, sir James, rtcoUect jour-

M>lf.

Sir Jam ft. It will be to no purpose.

Old Wdd. Come, w, your ototivc for this nf-
fecled iijiionuice is a fceuefuus, but uuiiccessary,
proof ot' yottr frieodship for uiy sou': but 1 know
the whole aOoir.

Sir JafHtt, NV'hat oJBlir }

Old Wild. Jnck'i. umrnuge.

Sir J«mtu ^ hat Jock }

Old Wtld. My9on.lafk.

Sir Jamet. Ix hu iiuuried?

Old Wdd. li he married ! why, you know he
is.

Sir Jamet. Not I. np«tn mv honour.

Old Wild Nav. that i« loiiii: a little too far:
but to remove all juur bcruplci at once, he liaS
owned it himwlf.

Str Jamft. lie bn» !

Oltl Wtld. .\y, ay, to me, Every ciroim*
staiiLc : (-iuing lo vunr new p^rch'lM^ al A.bing^
ton — mecrin^ Lodia Sybtliorp at the a»'S*nibly —
thetr pnvHlc iiiter\iewi* — -urpriicd by the futhcr
— pisiul — pukcr — and mamtuic; in short, every
particular.

Sir Jamet, And diis account you had froui
ymir s<m ?

Old Wild. From Jnck ; not two liouri ago.
Wr Jutrttt. I wisli ynu joy, sir.
Oid Wild. Not much of that, I twiieve.
Sir Jamrt, Why, Mr, docs the luiirria^e di^
plC'TlV vou*

Old Wtid. Doubdcss.

SH

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FOOTE,

Sir James. Then I fancy you nay mnkc your-
[ Klfcnby:

(>W Wild. Why 80?

SiV Jttmcs. You haic got, sir, il>c most prudent
^uehtcr-in-lflw in the British dominions.

Otd WUd. I am liBppy to hear tL

Sir James. For, llwu|>lt »hc luayit't hare broucht
tjounuich, I'm sure she'll not' cost you « (v-
•'ibioe.

Old WUiL Ay; eiactly Jock's account.

Sir Jamft. She'll be easily joiuturcd.

Old }yitd, Jiifeiicc shall be done licr.

SirJamrt. No provitiooneeenBry for younger
rhildrpn.

Old H'lVd. No, &ir! why not? 1 cna tell you.
if blie luiswcrs your accouot. Dot the daughter uf
n duke

Hir James, Hn, ho, ha !

Old tt'itd^ Vou are merry, sir.

Sir Jimtet. What an unaccouutablc fellow !

Old Wild: Sir !

Sir Jama. 1 brp your pardon, sir. But with
regard lo [his nmrringc^

Old Wild. Well, iir !

Sir Jvmts. 1 lake tlit> whole liivtnry to be nei-
ther more ror Ie<i5 ihnn an ahsoiutc tabic.

Old Wild. l!ow,5ir?

&r Jamft. F.vrn so;

Old Wild. Why, »ir, do you think my son
would dare to impotc upon roe ?

Sir James. Sir. he nould dare to impose upon
any bod». Don't I know him ?

Old Wild. What do you ktmwP

Sir Jamn.'l know, %ir, that his nnmitires goin
him mure Hpplaiisc than crnhc ; and llat, whe-
ther from cousiitulion or habit, there ia no beJi&-
tinc a Rvllable he hiti:

Old Wild. Oil, mighty well. »irl lie wants to
torn the tnhli-a upon Jock. Rut it won't da :
you are foreataUed ; your noveb wou't pass upon
tue.

Sir Jaiun. Sir !

iUd Wild. Nor is the character of roy son to
be blasted with the breath of n bouncer.

Sir James. What tit this?

Old Wild. No, no, Mr Mondeville, it won't
do; you arc ns well known here as in your own
county of Hereford.

Sir Jnma. Mr Wildintf, but that I nm Bure
this cxtnii'agant liclinxinur owea its rise to some
impudent imposilioiisof your son, ynur ago would
acanrc prove vur protcctiuii.

Old Wild, Nor, !Jr, but that I know my boy
equal to the defence of his own huiiour, simuld
he nant a protector in this arm, withered and
impotent as you may tliink iL

Enter Mist Graktuam,

Miss Gran. Oless ooCj g<eati«neD, what u the
'ineaiuog of ihU i

Sir James. No more at present, «r: I bar*
anutlter deiiiaiid upon your soa ; well eettk ifa*
whole lo^nher.

Old Wild, I am sure he vrlll do you JutUo.

Mitt Oran. How, sir James Elliot ! I flatti
myself tl>at you had (ini&licd your vuils here
yiuit I be the eternai object of your ouu
nut only insulted io roy owd persoo, but iu
of my friend* ? Pray, sir, wimt ri^it

Old Wild. Maduui, I n->k your partion ;
ogreenble occasion bmu^ht rac here : I
uuiiiiun, to renounce all hopes of being i
allied to yoo, my son, unfortunately, being r
already.

Miss Gran. Married !

Sir Jama. Ycf, mmlatn, to ■ lady in the
rlniids: and because 1 have refused to ackoo«r>
ledge her fttmih, this old genlleuuui has behaved
in a manner very iiicoosistaat with bb imial
poliiene*.?.

Old Wild. Sir, I thousbt this adair was to be
reserved fur another uccasun ; but yoa, it
seems

SItss Gran. Oh, is that the buuaess! Why. I
begin to be afraid tliat we are bcre m Utile in tfat
wroi% Mr Wildine.

Old Wild. Mitdam !

Mits Gran. Your son has jo«t confirmed fit
James Elliot's opinion, at a cuDfereuce uoder
MifA (lodfrev's window.

Old H'i/d.'lsitp<ifi$iUo?

Misi Gran. Mo^t true; and aasipwd two
motit u'himsical niuti^'cs for the uoatcou:
tide.

Old Wild, What can they be !

Jlfifi Gran. Au aversion fur me, whom
seen but once ! and an ufiecuun for Mim
frry, wlinin 1 nm almost surr be never Mnr*
his life.

Old Wild, You amaic tne !

Mia Oraa. Indeird, Mr Wildtnc;, yftur snn hk
most cxiraordiiiary youth; he has linely |»>
plcied us all. I think, sir Jamcs^ yoa have i
small obligation tn him.

.Sir Jamft. Which 1 shall take care toadbwn>*
lodee the first opportunity.

Old Wild. Yon h«vc toy consent. An afauH
doucd prultigate ! Was bii fatlirr a proper nW
jcci for his But I discard him.

Miss Omtt. Nay, now, fcntkinen, vou arc O'
tlier toowanni I cnu'l ihink Mr Wildine bfl^
hearted at the bottom. Tliis is a le^-ity — —

Old Wild- llow, madam, a levity f '

Mils Gran. Tatr niv w<inl for it. Ban«»i
inflamed into linbit by ilic nppr(»li:i' . ■" ■ ja-
vcnile frit'tid!. Will you submit )■ .-■*

to me? I think I hnvt* the mean^ ij iwnxH

both tn Rnli»ry your reeciitmcuts, and acconptofc
his cure into the bargain.

Sir Jitmet. I liare no qtinrrcl Ut biro, bat ^
the ill otbccft lie has done me with von.

Mist Gran, D'ye hear, Mr WUdinc? I M

d two

1

FOOTF.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

3e5

I

kfrwd my opinion with ur JaiDcs innst cement
the f^encral pe*ce.

Old Wild, Mndom, I submit to any-^^

£iif£p « Servant.

Scr. Mr Wilfling to wait upon jou, luodnci.

[Erit.

Mist Gran, Ue is paoctiinl, I find. Come,
good Tolkft, vou aJI act under my dirwrtion. You,
cir, will p-i from your ion, by what mfraiis you
think fit, th« real truth of the Abington business.
You must likewise scemjne;ly consent to his tnar-
rtap: with Mtvi GiidlVeTt whuni I Uirewdly su»*
pcct he has, by some odd accident, mi&tiikt;u for
me; the lady her«elf shall appear at your call.
OomCf air James, you will witMrair. [ intend
tit produce another performer, who will want
a litde uutnictioo. Kitty !

Enter KiTTT.

htt John shew Mr Wilding in to 1ii& fathrr: then
oome Co my dr«nii»-r(Knn ; I have a short ftcenc
to BV« you in sttu^. [Brit Kinv.l I1ic girl i>
livdy, and, I Tarrnnt, will dn her ctinnicler jus-
dor. C-ome, sir James. Nay, no ceremr»ny ;
we mn*t be as busy as bees,

[Esnint .Mi»s Gkastiiam and Sib James.

Out WiJiI. This itrat^e boy ! But 1 must com-
mand my temper,

Yomng nUiI. [Spcakiajg at he Mfcri.l People
to speak with mc £ See wltal thty want, Pupilliun.
My father here ! that'i unlucky enough.

out Wiiit Ha, Jack, wl>at brings you here ?

Young Wild. Why, I thought it my duty to
wait upon MIm Grantham, in order to make her
•uoie apnioey for the laic uufortumue

Oid HlieT Well, now, tjuu is prudoitly as well
M politely done.

I'tmng H'lVt/. I am h.ippy to meet, «ir, with
your nppmbalion.

Oid IViid. I have beeti ihinliiif!, Jack, about
toy dnughterHiflaw : as the atbiir is public, it is
HOC decent fa let her continue longer at bcr
Tathcr's.

y'onme Witd. Sir!

Old Wild, Would it not be right to send fur
her home f

young IVtid. Uoubtlc«s, sir.

Oid ttltd, I think ». Why, then, to-morrow
ny chariut siiall fetch ber.

' Young Wild. 1 hu devil it sliail ! [Atide] Not
ipitc fo man, if you please, sir.

tUd Wild. Nn 1 Why not *

Young \\ lid. 'Hie j'jumcy may bo dangerous
is her prrsent cnndiiion.

Old M lid. Wltnt's tlM- matter with her?
Yi'ViC H'l/'/. She is l>i» with dittd, »ir.

Old U UJ. An nudiciou!! — Big with child I that
fa fortttnatc. But, h^wc^cr, an easy carringr,
■ad sfavrt stngcs, oia't hurt bcr.

Young Wild. Pardon roe, sir, I dare not trust
ber : slie is mx months gime.

Old \ViU. Nay then, there may be danger in-
deed. But should not I write to bcr father, just
to let him know lUat yuu liave diaoovcred the se-
cret ?

Young Wild. By nil mean^ air; it will inalw
liim cxircini'ly happy.

Utd Mild. Why, then, I will insuntly about
it. Pray, tutw do you direct to him ?

}'(iu>4: Wild. .\t>io|:ton, Ik-rksliiro.

Old Wild. Tnic; but hii address?

Young Wild. Yoa need not trouble yourself,
sir : I .shall write by this post to my wife, aoa
will send your letter inclosed.

Old Wild. Ay, ay. that will do. [Going.

Young Wild. So ! 1 hare parried tliat thrust.

Old Wild. Tliough, upon itccond thought^ Jack*
that will rutlier look too familiar for an introduc'-
torv letter.

Young mid. Sir !

Old Wild. And tlicse coontry gentlemen are

full of punctilios No, I'll send liim a letter

^nrt; so, give me his direction.

Young Wild. You have it, sir.

Old Wild. Ay; but his name: I have been SO
hurried that I have entirely forfjot it.

YoHng Wild. I am sure so bare 1. — [Jside.]
Ilts name— his name, »ir— Hopkins.

Old Wild. Ilonkius!

Young Wild. Yes, sir.

Old Willi. That is not the same name that you
pave mc before— that, if I recollect, was tiilicr
Syplhorp or Sybthorp.

roun^ WUd. You arc right, air— tliat is his
patcmai appellation — but the name of Hopkins
he ii.ol fi>r an esuitv of hi^ mother's : so lie it
iniiisrrirainutrty culleil Hopkins or Syblhor|i: and
now I recolUcC I hove hi^ letter in my pockat—
he ugiis himself Sybthorp Hopkins.

Old Wtld. There is do end of this : I must
stop him at once. Hark ye, sir, I think you are
called my M>n }

Young Wild. I hope, air, you hare do reason
to doubt it.

0^ Wild. And look jupoii yourself as a gen-
tlcmun ?

YouHg Wild. In having the lionour of de»-
ceiidif^ from you.

Old Wild. And that you think a sulScient pre-
tension?

Yowii^ Wild. Sir — pray, sir —

Old Ifi/d. And by what means dn you ima-
gine vour anceuors obtained that distingnikliing
title ? By tbeir pre-eminence in virtue, 1 sup-
pose?

Young Wild. Doubtlets, sir.

OU Wild. And hu it never ooeurTC<l to you,
thai what was gained by honour might be luat by
in} amy i

Young Wild. Perfectly, sir.

Old Wild. Arc vou to Icnrn what rtdresscTtb

3fid

BRITISH BRAMA.

[F00TE«

the imnutation of ft li« demands ; and that no-
iliiiip Ii-55 than the life of the advcreary can cx-
tin>;ii-»h thi' iidi-tirtt?

Youni' Wifil. DouIjiIl'«, sir.

Out Wild. Then, how dare rou call yourself
B ifCitileiuaii ? yoUt whuttc lifr hn!i burn one con-
tinued wrcnc uf fraud aud falsity ! And wuuld
tiriUiiiig content >'ou but making nic a partner in
jour Infatny ^ N'oI stislied with vinlntitii; ihiit
great biuid of socieijr, mutual coufidtncc, dit*
nioiit utrrcd ni;hts or nature miiM he invaded,
, and your falhtT iniiric the innucrnt instrument to
circulate your nbominalile imjjositiona !

y\mnp tt'ifd. But, nir !

Old IVilJ. Within this hour inv life was near
sacriliced in defence of your fame : But. pcr-
I bnpi, that ivns your mtcntion ; aud the ifyrv ot
I jour Iua^ril^;e merely calculated tn send nip out
I of the world, a» a grateful return for my bring-
ing vuu inlr> it.

Yoniff: H '»/(/. For lieHren's !>ake, sir !

Old ir»/</. What other motive ?

Young Villi. Ilcur me, 1 intrcat you, sir.

Oid li'iij. To l>e i^in iinpowd on ' no. Jack,
my eyc» arc opcne<l at lasi.

YmiTifi Wild. By all that** socrcd, sir—

Old Wild. I am now dcnf to your dclusinns.

YauHg Wild. But hear me, »ir. 1 owu the
Abtngton business —

Old Wild An nbsolate Sction^

Young Wild. I do.

Old Wild. And how dare you —

YvHHg Wild. I crave but a moment's audi-
ence.

Old mid. Go on.

Yaun^ Wild. Prei-ious to the communtrntion
'^of your intention for tnv, I accidL-iiially met with
« Indy, whrtH* chnmu

Old Wild. So ! — what, here's atwther niar-

jiage triiiiipcd out? but that i*> a stale devicp.

I And, pray, sir, what place duc« Uii» lady inlmtit '

I Come, mme, goon; \ou ha\e a fertile luvrn-

! tion, and this is a tine opportunity. Well, wr.

■ltd tliii charming latt)*, reaidnig, I iuppo&e, i'l

Uubihut —

Young Wild. No. sir; in 1»ndon.

Old Wild. Indeed!

Ymtnf: Mild. Kay, more, and at this instant in
I tiiis hnu>c

Old Wi/tt. And her nanK>—

YouHf! Wild. Godfrey.

0/d Wild. TIh' friend of Mis» Grantham?

Ytmn» Wild. The very same. sir.

Old Wild. Mav» you spoke to her?

Young Wild. Parted from her not ten minutes
■go; nnv, am here by her ap|iointmeiit.

Old U'ild. Has she favoured your addres**

Young Wild. Time, sir, and your approbation,
■rilt, 1 hope.

Old H lid. l-ook ye, ftir, as there is some little
prubohility in this story, I shall think it worth
furtber inquiry. To be plain with yuu, 1 know

Mis« Oodfrey; am intimste with her family ; and
ihoucb you deserve but little from roe, 1 will
cndenvour to aid your intcnnon. But if, ia ■ '
progress uf Otis atfuir, you practisie any of ^
usual arti ; if 1 discover the leait falaeheod,
It-iut duplicity, remember jrav faavc lost ■ fa-
ther.

Youag Wiid. I »liall submit without a mur-
mur. [ Ktit Olo Wild.

fafrr pAptttiOK.

Yiruftii Wild. Well. Pnpillion.

Pttp. Sir, here has been the dc%il la
within !

Ymin^ Wild. What's the matter ?

Pap. A whole lev'ion of cook*, confcctiotMn^
musinans, wnilerv nivd watermen.

Young Wdd. What do they wantf

P<ip. You, sir.

Yimfig WM Me !

I'liu. Yes, Mr ; thcr hare Lrousht ia tbtr
hills.

Young Wi/d. Bills ! for whM f

Pap. For the cntcnninuKnt you garc hut a^
upon the water.

Yi'iing Wild. That I piti>?

Pup. \vs s-ir : you retnembw the hill of fuv:
I am sure the very mention of it iiiAkes my mouth
wal«*r.

YiiHng Wild Prithee, arc you road? Then
mu*it be Mime nuMake ; you ki>ow that I—

Pop, Tliry have brcii va»tly pnulcd lo
nut your lodgings; but Mr liobmsoti
by accident ivith Sir Jame» Eiltot. he wu
tnouKh to tell him where yuu livnl. Here arpllK
bilU: Ahnnrk's. twelve di»en of cIrtcI; dim
chanipnf^e, frontiniac, ftweatoieals pinc-aiuile*:
■lie wholu amount i* 3731. 9:». besides munc aud
lire- works,

yiwiig Wild, Cotiw, SIR, tlUs is Ml time Ibr
iriOiii;;.

Pap. N»y. $ir, they sny they have );ooe fall ■
low as they cuii olford; and ihev wera in Ivtftf^
trom t)ie crvat •aiisfiiclinn yoti cspreaatd u **
James lUliot, llmt you wuuld tlimw then ta la
:idHiiionnl compliuienl.

Y'tuKg Wi/d. Hark ye, Mr Papilliao^ if ws
(iou't nnise your iinpertUKMicr, I sIimII payyM*
cuiiipliiuciit di»t you would glodly cxcimr.

Pup. Djvia my faitlt, 1 ratate hat dm bcit
mutter of fat't ! You know, sir, I am bat Wtf
mveation : though dns incident, 1 ran't Mp
thinking is the naturnl fruit of your hoppy ooc

Yintng Wild. Dut arc you ««riuus? is tk>p»
sible? .

P/ip. Mmt rtTtuin. It was with Afflcdtyl
restrained ihciriiiipatience; bnt, however, Ha»*
dispatched them to yonr Jodsm^ with
that you i^hRli immediately meet them.

Yi'iin^ M iW. Oh, there we tliall soon rid
luiiids ot the troop.— N'ow, PapilUon, 1 hart asms

FOOTE.]

BRITISTT nUAMA.

for you. Mt father hiu got to the boUum of Uie
whole AbirtgtiHi business.

Pap. The dciic« !

Young Wiid. We pnrt«d this motnent Sucli
a Keuc I

Pop. And what wu die issue ?

YcuHg Wild. Hiipfiy hcTond mv (tnpes I Not
enty an act of ubliviuu, but a proniiae to plead
my cauH- witb the fair.

Pap. With MissOodfrcr?

i'oumg Il'i/d. Whu cIm.- ! — He is now with her
in aauttiur room.

Pap. And there is no — )ou understoml nic —
in oil ibis ?

Yfitmg Wm. No, no; that is alt over oow —
wj refomauoa is 6xe(t---

Pap. A« a weather-coct.

Ytmng Wild, liero coiacs my father.

Ettttr OlD WitDINO.

Old Wild. Well. air. I find, in this last nrticle,
^u have cnndcftcendcd to telt me the truth : tlic
youiig ladv »• not averstr tti your •iiiioii; but, in
order 10 n% Hi mutuKIc a tiiiiid, I Imvc dmwt) up
a &lijtbt cuniritci, which vmu qre both tu »iga.

YttkHg Wild. With Iraiwixtrt !

Old Wild. I wtU iiiiruducc Mt>« Ooclfrev.

[Em Old Wild.

Ypunt! WUd. Dill not I tc)l vnu, PapiUiuii ?

Pap. Thi* i^ ainaziti>;, irnlc^d I

Yoang Wild. Am not 1 a liapp/i fortunate —
But the; cotne.

Enter Old Wilding and Miss Goupbet.

Old Wild. If, tnndam. he has not the hi^ihost
aenM iii tJic ((reat buiMmr you do liini, 1 tifmll
oaue to rE^;ard hlio. — Ihcre, sir, uoLe yotiruwn
■dtnowledeEiincnts to'that ladv.

Yommn Wild. Sir !

Old Wild. Thift is more than you merit ; but
lei Tour ftitiire bchavintir testify yonr gratitude.
Younf: Wild. Pnpdliiui ! madiim ! nir !

Old Wii'l. What, is Ihc pnppy pcinticd ! Why
don't VMU en up (u the Indv f

Yomnf Wild, lip lu thi'tadr !— That Indv?

Old \rild. llint ladv !— To be aurc. What
Olhrr lady ^ — To ^li» (Godfrey,

YaiHE WiU. Thar lailv Miw Godfrey?

Old Wild. Whnt isall'thtsr— Uarkycsir; I,
are wiiat ynu are at: but no trifling: I'll be no
fDure the dupe of your double detetilable — Kccol-
ieet toy ta»t rewlution; Thii iii«iant your hiuiit
tD the cmilntct, or tremble at the coOKcqnence.

YottHfi Wild. Sir, tiiat, 1 hope, i> — might not I
— to be suri- —

OJd W*ld. Nn further erasioos ! There, sir.

ypMJif WiU. Hci^h ho ! [Stfitu it.]

Oid Wild. Wry well. Now, madani, your
name, if ym plea>« ?

fudii^ WiUL Papillioo, do you t^now who »hc

«•? ^

I Pap, That's a questioQ^ iutked ! Oun't vou,
:

I

»

527

YMl!

YiMng Wild. Not T, »r 1 hope to be !
£.nter a Servant.

Surr. A youn^ lady begs to speak with Mr
Wilding. ,

Young Wild. With me?

ilfuu iiod. A youtac '^y ^^i^') Mr Wildiite?

Her. Seeius distrci^cd, uiadum, and Ckircmcl^
pTessing tor adinittuii're.

itiu Had. Indeed ! 'Here may be somethinj;
inihiBl \ou must permit me, ^r, to pauM a
little : whu knoMS bat a prior claim may pre-
vnil —

Old Wild. Now, ur, who is this My?

Yvuttg mid. It is impui&iblc for me to divine^
sir.

Old W^ld. You know noiliine of her?

Youfui Wild. How ftliuuld 1 i

Oid Wild. Ytnu benr, miidam.

jUmi God. I presume your son nu bare na
tfbieclion to the lady's appearance.

Youn^ Wild. Not in (he least, madam.

Milt God, 8how Iter in, John. [£n> Ser,

Old Wild. N'o, luiidain, 1 (km't ihiak titcrv ts
ibe least room for suspeamc; him : he cnn'i be >a
abandoned ms to — Hut she is lure. L'pm toy
tvurd, it sightly wotuuit !

Enter KiTiT, a* MiM Stbthobp.

Kit. Where is he ? — Ob, let me throw mj
arm* — my life, my —

Yaunfi Wild. Heyday t

Ktt. Atul could y<m icai'e mr? and forsolone <
a spnoc/ Think how the ccdious time has iaggea '
along.

I fiunf Wild. Madam !

Kit. But wu are met at last, and now will port
rK> more !

YavHfi Wild. The deuce we won't !

Kit. What! not one kind l(K>k t oo tender
word tu hail our fecund incttiiiK !

Young Wi/d. Wlint the dtvil is all this?

Air. Arc all your iiiilli^ your pmlcitalinns,
cnme to this? Have I de^en/ed such ireiitincnt?
(Juitted my fHllter's liouitv, left all my triends,
and wandert-d here alune in search of thee, thou
lirst, In-t, riiilv object of mv love t

Old IIV/if.To ivhnt can all this tend? Elark
ye, Mr, unriddle Uiii niyittcrv.

Yimng Wild. Unvus, uon (Edipiu »um. It if
hvyond %np, t rtHifeu. Some lunatic cMrapcd
Irum iicr kffprr, I •>uppoae.

Kit. Am I diMiMincd then, contemned, slight-

t;d?

Old Wild. Hold; let me inquire into this mat-
ter a little. [*rav. madam You seem lu ba

preitv fAniilitir here. — Do you know tbu i^eutlfr-
mnit :

Kit. T-w well.

Otd Wild. Misname?

Ktt. Wilding.

Otd Wild, bo (u sbe ti rigbt. Now jvan, if
you please

^£8

BRTTiSH DRAMA.

[FOOTE.

KU. WUdine.

Omwi. Wildin!;?

Otd Wiid. And how came ytm b; that n&miv

Kit. MtMt liwfullj, nr: hy the tacred \mnd,
the holy tie, that made us one.

Ofd Wild. What ! married 10 bimF

Kit. McHttnie.

Omnet. How !

ycnin^ WUd. Sir, may I never—

OU Wiid. Peace, monster ! One question

more -. Your maiden notncP

Kit. Sjrblhorp.

Otd Wiid. Lydia, from Abiogton, in the coun-
ty of Berts?

Xif. The Mtme.

Ofd WiU. As I raspectcd. So, then, the
whole story U true, and the moostcr U married
at loit!

Yourtfi Wild. Me, sir ! By all tliaei

Otd Wiid. Eternal dumbncsa fteizc the«, raca-
surelcM liar i

Youn^ Wild. Ifootme, hear this gentleman
Marquis —

Pap. Not 1 ; ril be drawn into none of your
soapos : it is a pit of your own digging ; and so
ffit out as well as you cau. Mean tunc I'll &hifi
for myself. [Exit Pap.

Oid Willi, Wltat evasion now, monster?

Hits God. Deceiver I

Old Wild. Uar !

Afia Goti. ImpfMinr !

Young Wiid. Why, this is a general combina-
tion to distract me; but I witl he heard. Sir,
you arc Rrossly iiniioU'd upon : the low rontriver
of this woman's shatlow artifice 1 shall mk>d tiiiri
nutans (o discover ; and as to ynii, madam, with
whom I have been gudilrnly surpriMd iiiton con-
irad, I must soleamly declare tbis is the tint time
I ever set eyes on you.

Old Wild. Amazing cotkfidmoc ! Did not I
bring her at vour own request t

Young wild Nn.

Afiss Ood, Is no& this voar own letter f

Yoitng Wiid. No.

Kit. Am oot I TOUT wife f

Young Wild. No.

Old Wild. Did not you own it to me f

} otiNf Wild. Yes — that i^—DO, oa.

Kit. Hear me.

Yovn^ Wild. Xol

Miis God, Answer mc.

y<iiii)^ Wtld. No.

Old Wiid. Ha\€ not I—

Yuung Wild. No, no, no. Zounds! yoa aie
all mad ; and, if 1 May, 1 shall catch tM infec-
tion. [Exit YovKo Wiui.

£n/^Sta James Elliot, otuJMiss Geakt-

HAH.

Omnet. Ha, lia, ha I

Miu Gran. Finely performed !

Oid Wild. You bare kept your proouae ; aad
I tbaok Ton, madam.

A/iu Oran. My nii-diciiie was somewhat raif h,
sir; but in desperale cases, you kimw—

Old Wild. If his cure is completed, he wiB
gratefully aduiowtedi;*' the rauM* ; if not, tfar
punisliraent comes far short of his crimes. It i*
needless to pay you any compliments, sir Jeaei;
with ilint lady you can't fnti to be happy. I
shan't vettture to hint a scheme 1 have gmdy H
heart, till we have undeDiabIc proofs of tlie sa^
cess of our operations. To the ladies, indeed, m
ctiaractL-r is so daD|p:ruus as that of a liar :

'llicy in the fiitrcst fames can fix a Baw,
And vanquisli tcmnle?, whom tlicv never saw

t£ianil

THE

ORATORS.

FOOTR.

THE

FfWTff, TfprHtMing « Utturtr vpon Oratory—hU Pupils— mii4 the Sfvrtatort.

Scene— Ltm^oH,

ACT I.

SCENE X.

£nffr WjLLTinrBACK and IUrkv Sciupcn,
ho&tcJ, with wAip$ in tkdr hundt, into a lii/r-
Ittr.

ScmwL Put! ipiind»! priihcc, Will, let tu
|0 ; what ■^'iiifies our Muvkik here !

Tire. Nav, but tarrr it littlr -. bc^ictc!!, fou
iaow wf Dronij>ed to j^i'vc Poll tia^lcu ami Belt
Skinner tbc DMctin^

SfaoK No matter; we »lnJI be sure to find
them M citrce, at the Shnke^penre.

Ttrr. But a« we are liere, lUrrv, let us know
a little wbat 'tia about i

Satmt. About ! Why lecturei, you fool ! TCa*e
Dot joa read the bitU f and we bave plenty of
il»m at Chlord, you know.

Ttre. Well» but tor nit thai, there may be fun.

.Sfttiw. Why, iheii, »lay nud enjoy it yourself;
and ni (trp to the Bull aud Gate, and call upon
Jerry Lack-Ijitin and my horse. We ahalt see
you at three f [Buimg.

Tirr. Nay, but, prilhfe, stay.

Sttm. Hot tnc, if I do ! [Cmng out ofth* boi.

vot.ni.

"Hrf. Halloot Unrry ! Ilarry— ^

Sctun. Well, vrhalS tlie malier now }

[Rftttrniag.

Tire, H«re*it Poll Bayless just cinne into tbe
gallery.

Sfom. No-

Tire. She is, by

Scam. rj!,<»A:ii>^.] Yes, faith! it it the, »ure
entM^ — How Koc» it. Poll i

Tire. Welt, now, we «hiill hare you, I hopef

tSCoM. Af, if I thought we klioiild |;et any fuu.

Tirr. nf make an inquiry. Ualloo ! anulTcrs,
Soulier^ !

Candle-snuffcr, Your pleasure, lir ?

Tire. V\ hat is all this business about here }

Snaf, Cun't hay. 6ir.

Scm. Well, but yon could if you would ; let ua
into tbe sccnl !

Snuf. Not I, upon my homtur !

Tire, Your hunour, you von of a whore 1 D'ye
hear ? bid your master ajme hither ; we want to
ask him a questrou.

Snuf. I will. lEnt.

IfiTC. Scamper, will ynu aak tumi or ihaU 12

2T

330

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Foots.

Scam. L«t me alone to htm

Enter FooTE.

Tire. O ! here he is

Foote. Your commands witli me, gentlemen ?
Scam. Why, you must know, Will aud I, here,
arc upon a scheme from Oxford ; and because

cash begins to run low How much have you,

Will?

Tire. Three and twenty shillings, beudes the
crown I paid at the dour.

Scam. And I eigliteeii. Now, ns this will last
us but to-night, wc nre willing to husband our
time ; let us see — Will, huw are we engaged P

'S^re. Why, at three, with Belt and Poll there,
at the Shakespeare -. after that to the Corona-
tion ; for, you knuw, we have seen it but nine
timcS"

&'afii. And then back to the Shakespeare
•gain; where we sup, and take horse at the
door.

'Hre. So, there's no time to be lost, yoa see ;
we desire, therefore, to know what sort of a thin^
this a£hir, here, of yours is? What, is it danmed
I'unny and comical r

Foote. Have you not seen the bills?

Scam. \Vhat, about the lectures ? ay, but that's
all slang I suppose ; no, no. No tricks upon

travellers; no, we know better What, are

there any more of you ; or do you do it all your-
self?

Foote. If I was in want of comedians, you, gen-
ilemeo, are kind enough to lend me a lift; but,
upon my word, my intentions, as the bill will in-
form you, are serious- ■

'lire. Are they? then 1*11 have my money
again. What, do you think we come to London
to learn any thing f Come, Will. [Going.

Foote. Hold, gentlemen'; I will detain you, tf
posuhlc. Wliat is it yoa eipect?

Scum. To be jolly, and laugh, to be sure —
. Foote. At what?

2\re. At what-— damme, I don't know — at 3rou,
andyour fndics and fancies——

foote. If that is all you desire, why, perhaps,
we shan't diswpioint you

Scam. Shan t ^ou ? why, that is an honest fel-
low—come, b^oo'

Foote. But you'll be so kind as not to inteiv
nipt me i

Scam, NcTcr fear,

Jbote. Ladies and gentlemen

[Suds, Jhm the opponte tor, calU to Foote,
and atopt him thort.]

Sudt, Stop a minute ! mayr I be pennitted to
speak ?

Foote. Doubtless, sir.

Suds. Why, the affiur is this. My wife Alice
..^— for, you muse know, my name is Ephraim
Suds, I am a soap-boiler in the city — took it into
ber head, and nothing would serve her turn but
chat I UU8C be a commoa couadlnuui this year;

for, says Alice, says she, it n the onliest way to
rise ill the world.

Fuote. A just observation 1 you succeeded?

Sudt. (Jh ] there was no danger of that — ^yes,
yvA, I gut It all hollow; but now to conoe to the
ninrrow of the business. Well, Alice, says I,
now 1 am diosen, what's next to be done? Why
now, snys Alice says she, thee must learn to
make spccc hcb ; why dost not see what purfer-
nient neighbour Grugram has got; «by, man,
'tis ull bruu^ht about by his speechifying. I tell
thee n-liai, Epiiraim, if thou canst but once leara
to lay down the law, there's no knowing to wbal
thee mayest rise —

Foote. Your lady had reason.

SudM. Why, I thought so too ; and, as good
luck would have it, who ^old come into the
city, in the very nick of lime, but master pro-
fessor along with his lectures-'— ■ — Adod, away
in a hurry Alice and I danced to Pewtuvs
Hall.

Foote. You improved, I hope ?

Suds. O lud ! it is unknown what knowledge
we got ! We can read— Oh ! we never stop to
spell a word, now — And then be told us such
things about verbs, and nouns, and adveilis, that
never entered our heads before, and emphasis
and accent ; Heaven bless as ! I did not think
there had been such thii^s in the world.

Foote. And have you speechi6ed yet f

Suds. Soft ; soft and fair ! we must walk be-
fore we can run — I think I have laid a prel^
foundation. The mansion-bouse was not buiU
in a day. Master Foote. But to go on with my
tale ; my dame one day looking over the papcn*
came running to me ; now, Ephraim, says die,
thy busine^ is done ; rare news, lad ; bete is a
man, at the other end of the town, that will odte
thee a speecber at once — and out she palled yosr

fTOposals. Ah, Alice, says I, thee be'si bat s
ool; why, I know that man, he is all upoo lis
fun ; he lecture ! why, 'tis all but a bam — wdl,
'tis but seeing, says she ; so, wolcns nolens, she
would have me come hither : dow, if 8i» he voa
be serious, I shall think my money wisely bcau»-
ed ; bat if it be only your comic^ woiuy I caa
tellyou, you shall sec me no more.

Foote. Sir, I should be extremely ■<»?¥ to kse
you, if I knew but what would content you.

Suds. Why, I want to be made an onior m;
and to speak speeches, as I tell you, at ourvsc*-
ings, about politics, and peace, and addiejie^
and the new brid^ and all them kind of ifaM0>

Foote. Why, with your happy talents^ I iaii
think much might be done.

Suds. 1 am proud to hear you say to; iodccil I
am. I did speechify onreata vestry^coacerBinr
new-lettering the cnurcb-buckets, and came cf
cutely enough ; and, to say the truth, that <*»
the thing that provoked me to eo to FewtertA

[SilsdovaiVMa

/

FOOTR.]

BUITISH DRAMA.

351

I

Fitoie. Well, sir, I Hatter inr«eir, t!uit, in pro-
portitHi to the ilifTtrrcnco at* uHiiiticn in voar two
initnjciore, you will Itcrc iimlic n toU-roblc pr<^
fcrmui. But now, 5Jr, witli _v<*tir tnvour. we mil
proottd to cKpiaiii 0\r imtiirr nf niir design;
and. [ hopr, in the proreu, vou, ^ciiUonieii, will
&ad catertMninent, and vuu, air, inr'irmatioo.

Mo FoOTt then procttdt in hit leclHre.

Mt plan, eentlLinen, ih irt be mntiderrrl a» n
eiiper^trticture im llint ailminitile tDUiKlttUnn laid
by ihc intideni pr'»re*«(r ut" F.iinli*li. hitih otir la-
\*rmn tctldiog I<> the sum'' u;ciieral end, the )>er-
iVciioniDK of our i-oiKiiryiiifii in a m>»t c*«oiitiBl
utidc, tlw ri^lit tue of iht-ir natjvc hiiii>iiii^i>. —
The Eueliili umbin^ »re to be duidci iiiic lour
dlitiiirt clftssen, tlte piilptt, the Kpiutit-, ilic bir,
■ad the ^u;e. WiUi the hn>t ut' thcM: br.inrhrs,
dw pulpit, I »haa't interfere; nod, indeed, ^ few
|WOp^ uim, of eofiwifuence and rniisiilenuion,
ffequcut ihe churches, that the art is iscarrc
worth cultivation. 'Hie bar

HcAHU ISIiaw ! there's cnuiich nf tlvia dull
fVutinit ; cimct givr U9 a little ot* Auiuelliiiie
•hat's Ciumy : ynu tolled about pupiU. UouJd
not we Htm itiem r

S^tt. Rather toa precipitate, sir; but, how-
■vcTt in anine mewture to satisfy you, and detnon-
•traie tiM wixau of our itrlienir, ^ivv. mc leave
to iiitroduCA to you a inou extninrditiiiry in-
fttance, in the pertun of a youii^ llib^hlandc^r. Jt
n nut altncetlier a year «nce tlii« a^tiMiishifDc
Mihtect lipoke nothing but Krsc. f^icouraj^cd
hv the prodii;ie4 of mv brothtr profeMora skill,
wnoM fame, like the Chevalier Tiiylur'«, pivrce*
the reuintest retpoiit, jiii rclutions were tempted
to tend (hii youtig genius to Edinburgh; where
he went thniujih a rcKulur cuurav nf the profe»-
wir's leuurrt, to linisli lii» ^tudie^; he lias been
about aik weeks under my nirc, and, coii«idcring
iha ttmc, I ihmk you will \ie atmuwd at Liia priH
fftm. Donald !

F.tiier DoSAtn.

Dna. What's yer wull, Mr?

fvote. Will ynu give these ladies and gcntlfv
men a proof of your »kill 7

Dan. Ah, ye wad ha' a specimen of ray uratu-
rioil art?

y<Mj{e. If you please.

Ji«n. Ill gude UuUi an ye sal ; wol ye ^ mc a
topic?

yoatt. Oh, choose for yourself,

JJmi, It'j aw ane to Doniild.

t0o(€. What think yuu of a »horL paacKyric
B tbe science we arp irealiii|[ of?

JAm. i>n itmiory? VVi'aw my heart.

FiMrfe. Mind yuur action; let that accompany
' ^our wurda

Dvn, Ouniia lieod, man — the topic I presume
to Uauutllc, u ill* miraculuu* gifts of an orator,

wha, by tl»e bare power of hit words, leads men*
women, and bairns, as he lists——
Skftfn, And who ?

})itn. [TuW/y.] — Men, women, and bairm.
Scam. Kuifit^ ! wlin nrc ihcy?
Foule. Oh, cliiidren— his ineaoiug is obviou*
cnuu)(h.

IhtH. Ay, ay : men. wnmen, and baimt. wher»-
erer be lists. And fint for the Bnti(|UitT of the
art — Ken ye, my hids wlui wit-s the liPit nrntor?
MHyhap,yc think it wus I'ully Oie Ijilinitt? Ve
arc wide o' tiii* mark : or nenntsllwnes tho
(.•reek? In itmte truth, yt>'re lu far lUTa^ Iteforc:
wha was it, llien ' It was v'rn that arch chid, lite
deevil hinisel

Scam. [Hai,tHtf.\ — ^The devil it wast flow do
you priAe iliut ?

JJiin. Ktuiis uMJiiili, mun, yc Imk tht^ Ihiid uf
my hbmu<: an ye'li but liLiud yuur tun^e, I'm
prove it as plain as a pike-ntatf.

Tirt. Be i)utci« Will, Hrid let him go on.

Dun. 1 »ay it was ihni arch chit-I, the drevil
hini94;l. Yc ken uecl, luy bids, liow Adam and
Ei'c \«creplniilc(l ni K-len, wi* plenty u' bannocks
and kitjl, and aw thnt they wiatied, but were pro-
hibiu-d llw ewiiiig of pcpino

Sfatn. Apples

Don. Wecl, weel, and arc na pr ptns and ap-
ple» nw tite <i»me tJiin<: *

Footc. ^Jay, {jray, (lentlcmcn, hear him out —
Gu on with ymir pepiim.

Don. Hruhibiti-d the catiiif; of pepins ; upon
which, w hat docs mc the orator batan, but he
whispers a saft spcuch in her lug; cf^, our
ftranimiu tell tu in an in»timl, and eat a popm
witliuut staying la pare it — {A^reme$ hmactf tv
fAe OroNuini.J — Ken ye, lada, wha waa the first
oraiur, now ?

rir«. [To ScAH.] — What say you to that ?

Scam. By my soul, th<^ fellow's right —

Dun. Ay, but yo Muniia ba' patience— ^yt
wunna ha' patience, lada

'fire. Hold your jaw, and go on

Don. Now, we come to the definition of an
c»nttor : ami it is from the L^tin wunl*. ont,
urarf^ to inlreat, or pcrswad; aitd how ? by the
tnenns o' elocution or ai-KUtueni, which argumeut
con<ii«its u' IcUersi, which letters joioerl, niak sy^
Jabiek, whidi syllables couipoundod. mak words,
uhich worHii combined, nink sentences or pft-
rinds, or which, nw tii^elher, mak an urator; so
the first gift of an orator it word*-

Sctim. llera, Donald, you are out.

Dan. How «»o ?

Scam. Words tbe first ipfis of an omtor ! No,
Donald, no, at school 1 teamed belter than tliat :
rio'st not rcinemt>er, Will, wlmt is ihc tirst per-
fectitiu of an orator? action; the secoud, ac-
tion ; Uic tl)ird, action.

V'lrc. Rieibt, rinht, Ilarrv. as light as my oail;
tJiere, Douald> I ifaiuk^ liobasgnren jruuadow^

Z3S

BRITISH PRAM A.

[FOOTK.

Dmt. All rt Biuy me la the mid&t o' ay aipi-
mpiii

Scam. Why cloii't you iticli to tnkthf

Don. I tell y^. I ran, loeicatljr.

Tirt. Dnmn your logic !— —

linn. Mighty weel— ^Maislcr Foocc, bow en'
ye ihi» uioaic ?

Fovtr. Oh, never mind them — proeeed.

Don. In guiie troth, I'ui no say noe word
niftrp.

Fitote. Finish, finish, Donsld.

Don. Ah ! ihcy hmvc jumbled «w my ideiw tbe-
(•ciher; hot an tbcv will etKcr into » fair argu-
meiitatioii, I'se ajnvlnce them that Donald Mac-
greivtr is marc thuii n uiatd).

Srtim. You be

Don. Very wcel

f ixifc. Nny, but, toy dear Donald——

Don. Ilandsaff, Mai^tcr Fnote — I ba' finished
my tiile ; llip drrl a word mare sal yc irei out o'
Donald; yer wmuit, sir. [Exit Don.

t'oote. Vo»i «ep, geatieinen» what your impa-
ttcmcv has lust us.

Scam. Rot him, let him f;o ! Bat » this feUop
one of your pupils? Why, what a duoinahlc
twai^ be has got, witb hit mcoi woii>e«, and
baimt-

Footr. His prououncintion n, I own, a Kflic ir-
refular; but tlieti coiifiiderhe i* hm merely a
norictt: ■tthy, e*-en in hi* present coiMbtioo, be
mnk<^s no bad li^ure fur hi& i\re miniim at tbc
Panthenn and I.yi'B'dm; and in a nwmth or twn
we ^an't ba ashaniod to itart him in n mnrc re-
tpectablo place. But now, (sentlrmeii. ue are »
descend to the p«:u)iar eucniial nualittttj '
carli distinct »pecie« of oratory; and firrt foi
bar~-but 15 no didactic rules can vt well <
or «)urds make a proper tmprefsian, w« vt ill I
recourse t» more palpable tnrnns, and ebdcnv
bv a lively imtracion, to dpmnmstmtr lite ci
ofoiirart. We muitT, for thi» emlf t-niploy^
aid of uur puptU; but as &ome preparation ii
necewarr, wohoix you will bidulgc u» in « ibort
interruption. _^ [£nr.

ACT IL

SCENE h—A Hall o/Justiet.

Enter Focm:.

fvote. The first species of oratory we are to
denion&lratc our skdl in, is that of the bar ; and
■in order to give our lecture an air of realitv, von
arc to aupposc thii a court of justice, fumtsnitl
with pnipor ministcni to dittchai'ge the necessan-
ftniotione. But to supply thete fcentlemeo with
business, we must likewise institute an hiiRsinar\
i-ause ; and, that tiir whole may be ideal, let it
be tlie prowcution of an imBgiionry being ; I
mean the phantom of Cnrk-lanc, u phenonionon
tlmt ))3ft much punJeri tlie brainy and ternlied
ibc ^iind^ of mnity of our fellow-subject*. Yog
are in eonutler, Indies and gentlemen, that the
luni;unf:c of the bar n a sperie^i of oratory dis-
tinct from ewry other. It has been observed,
that the urniinu>nl& of this pmfeivuon have not
shone with fw|unl lustre in an aMembiy near their
own hall ; the reaaon aaaigned, lhou|>h n pleasoni,
is nut the true one It has been hinted, that
these itentlemcu were in want of their briefs. —
But were that thp dinease, the remedy would br
ensy enough; they need nnly have recourse to
the artifice succeasfuUy practised by some of
their cvlleajEjues ; instead o( having their briefs in
their Iwnd^ to hide ilicui at Uic iMltom of their
bat.>i.

[CaUt to hit pvpiU, who mter drrtsed as «

juttict, o clerk, d trtjeani ut Itncy and

a raunteitor.j

You will remember, gentlemen, yonr proper

patMcs, repetitions, hunui, ba's and intcrj«ctioiu:

—Now, seat your*«l*e«, : and wi. f Ik- mtuiMi, r^
member to be mighty dull, nnd yoi;, Ihe josik«.
to fall asleep. I must prepare to nppear in thH
cause as n witne«>. [ Ktil.

Jul. Clerk, rcfld the indictment.

Cltrk. [Read$.]M\6dl€9.r%. to un.

* Fanny Phantom, ynu arc mrfictt-d, That on

* or before the firtt day uf January 176?,toatW

* said Fanny did, in n crrtain liuiise. in a cerrntn

* street called CwWoar, in tlie county of Mi*
' dieses, malictouslr, treaehrroa^lv. wKiidi

* and wilfully, by certain thnoipinp*, knnrkmM

* scratclnngsi, and flutieringa, ar!ain : ; -.Mk

* wnJiisrotSi, bedsteads, and )>ri\- iik,
' nnnor, assault, and terrify c1ivc'i->- mnMcrni, i^

* otVcn^ve, hanulcaSf quiet, kiiiiplr people, if

* siding in, at, near, or nbout the said (.'ock-liw,
' and else\vl« re, in the' said ronnty of MiAllMft,
' to the icrc&t prejudice of snid people in aul

* county. How sny you ? Guilty or

Co«». {Stttpx th'r Ctfrk iA.jr/.] May it pka*
your worship — licm — I am couii>cl in'lhiftCWM
for the choM — hem — and befure I can priBii
her to plead, I liave an objectt'<n in make, ifiaCd
— hem — 1 shall object to her pl<-ndih{: at •!.—
Uenj — It is the standing law- of this cwintri"
licm — and bag — hem — always beeii « aUo«»«i
deemed and ptactiwd, tbac^hcm — all aipwa*
should be tried per pam, by tbeir e<piri>— k*
—that is — hem — by a jury of equal nuA vA
t*^iemselve«. Now, if this he the case, ts AecM
It is, I— hem — I should be p'—t »--. ivtow fcJ*
ray client can be tried inthi^ rter' Kai

first,whoi9myclicnt?Shei»iii n 'meato^

itAvkphontmnj^ghMt. Whatu aghoM^a^tf^

foOTE.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

I

What U a ^irit? a ^^irit is n thing that rxisti
iDdcpcndeotljr uf, uud i« wperiur lo, Ocsti and
blood. And can nrty man ^> for tv think, thftt I
adnw oiT cUcnt Lo submit to be tried by
jdeofiwi inrcriur mnk to Itersdf? certamlv
-1 clMretbre humbly move to qutksh thi^ in-
fh'ctmcnCf unlns a jury of ghoets be lirst had nnd
ubiaincd. \Sits dtmm.

Ser. I am, id thi« cauAV, counsel osainsi I'litmy
PhanCum the ghost — eli — uiid notnillistnndiiiii
tbe rule laid riotrn by Mr Pn»c<{ui be — tli — rigfat
to ifac main, yet, here, it can't avnii hift client a
whit. Wo atlow— «h — wr ilo allow, picuw your
worship, that Fnniiy guoatt Mutotom — eh — had
oripnaJlf a ri^ lo a jurr of ghosts ; but— eh —
if she did, by any act nf Iter nwn, fnrfpit this
right, ber plea oinnot be admitted. Now, wc
«Ml pfore to yoor worship, proire hy a clrmd of
witBCttM, dMt said Kaitny did, at sptvilird in
Cbe indkunent, ■cmtdi, knock, and flutter — ch —
vfakh oud scmtcbiujfs knorkiogi, and Outtering?
— oh — faciofl; operations mcrtly piKruliar m flesh,
blood, and body— eh— we do humbly appreliend
— eh — that, by condescending to execute the afore-
said operatioot, she hns wnvcd her pnviJes;c m
a'^fbott, and may be tried in the unlinarv form,
aooording to the stature so mi^de aiid pr'wided in
ihe roign of, tStc. &c. \-c. Your worship's opinion?

Tire. Smoke the justice ; he is a& fast us a
church.

Scam. I fancy Im liRS touched the tankurd ton
moch this nianiiag\ he'll know o good deal of
whmt they Imve been sayin|(.

Jttr. [h waked hy the Clerk, mko tetU him
Ihfy kov* pleaded.] Whv lb" objection— «j|i—
brouglit by Mr Prosequi, is[ H'Aisyvrt the Cterk.]
flaubtlcsft proriitinniilly n valid ubjoctian ; but
then, if tbe culprit hnft, by an net nf her <nvn,
4e^trd Iter privile^ic, as assorted in Mr Ser^

nt's rephcatnin. we conceive the may be lesal-
ted— oh — lleMde* — oh— Besides, I, I, I can't
well see how mc r luld iinfwnnel a jury of j^bosts ;
or — l>h — how tMeUe spirits, wlio liave no body
■t all, can be taid to take a rorpnml onili at rr-
quired by taw — unless, indeed, as in case of tlie
peer^c, the prisoner may be tried on their ho-
nour.

C«un. Your worship's distinctinn is ju^t ;
kooctcin^*, tcratchitigs, Ace. a« asserted by Mr

SahMiit

flier. Awcrted — Sir, do yoo doubt my iustnic-

Ccun, No' interruptions, if yoii please, MrScr-
jaMBi; I My aa atsened ; hut con assertions be
■dnrinad W proofs? ccttninly no

Str. Our evidence is ready

Comm. To that we object, to that we object,
M it will anticipate tbe merits — yinir wor^ii|>—

8er. Your wunliip

Jul. Why, as you impeach the pboM's pri-
etlcge, yov must produce pronTs of her scmtrh-

Ser. Call Shadrach Bodkin.
Clerk. Shadmch Bodkin, come into court.

£j|/cr BoukiK.

Ser. Pray, Mr Bodkin wIktc do you live?

Bod, I sojourn in LukcncrVlane.

Ser. What is your pnifesaion f

Bod. 1 uu a teacher of the word, and ■ tu*
lor.

Scam. Zounds Wilt, it is a Methodist !

'Arr. No sure !

Settm. By the lord Ilarry, it a !

Clerk Silence.

Ser. Do yiiu know nny thing of Fanny th^
Phantom ?

hod. Yea— I do.

Ser. ('an vou give any account of her thump-
iuf^S scrutchings, nnd tlutteriurs?

Bod. Yen— manifold have been the KTUcb-
in^t and kniirkinKs, that I have heard.

Srr. Niiuic tlie Unir«.

Bod. I have attended the spirit Fannr, from
the firnt ihiv of hrr tlutlcrings, evea to thie btst
scratch tliat she gave.

Srr. How long mav that be f

Bod. Five weeks Jid she flutter, and six weeks
did she scratch.

Scam. Six weeks — Damn it ! I wonder she did
not wear out her nails.

Clerk. Silence.

Ser. I h.ipe Ihe fonrt is convinced *

Orun. Hold, Master Bodkin ! you and I rantt
have a tittle disconrsc. A tailor, you sajf Do
you work at vour buiinew?

Bod. No-^—

Coin. I-»>k upon roe, look upon ilie coart—
Then your present trade a your teaching i

Bod, It i^ no trade.

Coun. What is it then ? a callinK *

Bod. No, it is no colling — it is mtbcr — as t
tunv say— a forcini; — a compclWog—

Coun. Fly whum t

Bod. By the spirit that is within mtr

Scam. It is an evil «|iiril, I Ix'ticve ; and
niHKls must, when the denl drives, V9<i knoM,
Will.

Tire. Riaht, Ilarry

CouH. NVbcn did yoa feel these spiritual
motions ?

Bod. In the town of Norwich, where I wa'
lv>m. — One dnr, as I was silting cross-legged oo
my shop-boar^, new sentiuc a clotli-ptiir of
hrcecJies of Mr Aldrrmnn Crape's— I fctt the
spirit within me, moving upwnrd?.snddowimard^,
and this way and that way, ojul luiubliiig and
jumbling -At 6ret, I thought it wa> ttte cbi>-
lic

Coun. And hnw are you certain it was nnt?

Bod. At la-st I licnrd a voice whi^pcriut, v\ iihia
me, crvini:. Shadmch, Shndrnch, ■Slutdrach \ cast
away iW things thai tjcliing to thee, thy thimble
and sheen, and do the thitigs thai 1 bid tliee.

S34

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FOOTE.

Covn. And vwi did?

hod. Yen, verily.

CWw. I think I hare ticurd n tittle of yim.
Muter Bodkin ; aikI so you quitTc<l jwir bufci-
acflB, )rniir Mit'e, nud your childrMi?

Jim. t did.

Cmffi, You did — But tben you coaunaiicd with
•ihcr ia«u'6 wives i

Bod. Yea, (uid witli widows, nnd with maidens.

Court. How came ifaat about, Shadrach^

Bod. 1 wHu movrtl ihtreunm by the spirit.

Coun. 1 should rutlRT Ihiiik by the Ocsh— — I
lintc bpcn toUi, frieod Bodkin, that twelve be-
cauK- prt?ennnt —

Bod. "niou art deceived — they were barely
but tunc

Cown. Whr> <his was an ictive ipiril.

Ser. Rut to tite pnint, Mr Prosequi.

Coun. M'ell. then — you say you have heard
thoftc •tcmtchings and kiiackinKs^

fiod. "iVa

Coun. But why did you think Uiey atnie from
a spirit?—

Biid. Hecnuw the verv Mine thonips, scnitrh-
C9, and Unork;!, 1 hnve fvXt on my brcoal-bouc
from the epirii within me —

Couu. .And thcHC nuiicn ynii arc iiire you
beard on the tint day ot' January i

Bod. Ccnaiti

Srr. But to what do all those iDterity^alories
tend ?

Conn. To a most mntcrinl purpose. Your
worship observes that Bodkin is jtositivc as to
the noi*ic$ mndc oti the lirst day ol' January by
Fanny the Phantom; now, if »c ran prove on
alibi, that is, that, on that very day, at lliat very
time, the said Fanny vrtu scratching and flut-
tering any where else, we apprehend (bat we

destroy tlic credit of this witness Cnll Pelcr

rnnwraph.

Clrrk. Peter Panutraph, come into court.

Cf»m. This ^c-iitk-man it* an eminent printer,
and ba9 collected, lor the public iiifonuatiun,
iTifcry pnrtieular relative to this remarkable mo-
rr ; but as he ha^ thu tniftfortunc to luivi- but one
le^. yonr wiir»hip will indul);e him ia tlje use of
b chair.

Ckrk. Peter Poragrapli, come ioto court.

Eatfr Paeaoaaph.

Coun. Pray, Mr Paragrapli, where was you
bornf

Par. Sir, I am o native of Ireland, and boru
and bred in the city of Dublin.

Conn. When did you arrive in the city of
London ?

i'ltr. About the lu4t autumnal equinox ; and
now I recollect, mv ^iouriml makes mention of
uiy departure for fjiglund, in the Besborougb
packet, Friday, October the teuih, N. S. or new
•tjrl&

Coua. Oh, then the jonmal ti ytmn i
Par. Ploue your wnnhip, ir i»; and rdatinc
thereto, I believe 1 can eivc ynu a pleasant cm»-
ceit — IJist wuek I went to I i*tl a pe<?r, fur 1
knnw pfcrv, and pccr» know me. Qooth bii
lonlship to me, Mr Paracrnpb, with rt-ipei-i to
vo'irjoumnl, I would wi^h ll»at your pnper wmi
whiter, or your tok blacker. Q-iotli 1 to tlw
peer, by way of reply, I h«pc you wiH o"»
there is enongb for tlw moocv ? Iii« lordJiip Wfl»

EleaK-d to luuttli. It was auib a pretty repartee,
e, he, he, lie!

Jut. Pray, Mr Pamgraph, what might be yooT
iMKoincss in l-jietand }

p4ir. Uein — a little lovo«&ir, plcuc yoor
WOrAtilp.

Conn. A wife, I suppose

par. Somethin)£ tendiiis ihnt way; even «
loii)!; fl|£u an January 173^40, (licre post •ranr
RtiKimus e;lancc9 between u<i : sImi ia ibiu^hCef of
old Vamp of the Tiinistile ; but, at that itne, I
HtiQed my paMiun, Mr» Pniagrapb bcin^ then ia
the land of the living.

Coun. Slie 15 now dead?

Par. Three yrars and three ry ^ ?''TW

your woisliip: we were cxcecdifi>: ^

tlicr; she was, indeed, a little apt u ^ j^-i.iu*.

Coun. No woiiticr

J*or. Yos : they CMn't help it, poor wnib : bnl
notwithfltamliitg, al her di-a^li, I f>Bvc lier a pnr
dipout good chumcter in my ioumnl.

Coun. And bow procenis tlir prescutaffiur)

Par. Just tMiw, we are quite m a, stand——

rrniii. How so?

Par. The old fcoundrel, her fallwr, ha« pfa*>
ed tnc a slippery trick.

C*«/n. Indeed !

J'ur. As be could eive do monpy in hawi !
ngr»il to take her furtunc in copiev 1 was to
Imve the Wits Vadc jWeruMt entire; f«>nr
dred of News from tin; Invisible \Vurid
••het'l*!; all itint remained of (•Uii«il
Wiiclics; Uiir» Bees, Bardana, Up
Balsam of Honey, nod thrrr cightk of I
Cnis'ie.

Coun. A pretty fortone !

Par. Yl's ; llwy are thins* tH»t »ttr ia 1
trade ; but >ou must know Uuil we nf(rced tn p)
halves in f'auny llic Phantom. But wliilst 1
and two auiliors, whuni I luid hirrd to stk qa***
tioiis, ut nine sliillings a ni^bt, were takini; aau
of the kn<M-J(ings at the house of Mr PanoH
bimw-lf, that nld rascal \'atiip had pnv«d|f
printed otl' a thou'^and eitclit-peiiny scratdHM
purchased u( two MetliudUt preacbers, at ■■
pubUc-huuse over the way

Coun. Now we come io the point— look wpm
this evidenre; waa ho prcamt at Mr PanM
knocking }

Par. Never; this is one of the rwtcally Sf^
tbodiei»— — Uark'e, fellow t how tiifnid yon U

I

I

snch a KouTKtrel, to *e\\ for ^iiutne, your coutf
terfcit hCtfltcluncH tii Vnnip f

Bod. Mjr Krikictuikgt were the true wratcb-

Pur. Why, ytm lyiiiR win of a wimrc, did iiol
I buy all iny uiutcrloU from tlic giri'< lacticr

Bod. Wlmt the spirit coimiiuiiilcd, tli»l did X.

Par. Wlim sjjirit?

Am/, "riic spint within me

Par. If 1 cuulil but ^ct uL you, I nuuld soon
trv wh»t sort of n -ipiril it i;* — Stop, ynu villuiii !
TcImV UbDhiy.] The ro^ue tins nrndc his escape ;
out I will dug liiiu to liiiil Hill his tiHuiil^, and titeii
return lor n wunuit— His scmtcliiiiga ! a mtodu-
Hnel ; I will Imrc justice, ur I'll turn h'n CAbprnn-
dc into a pis-ftlvc [Esit 1*«r.

Caun. r hope, pleaie your wor»)iip, we hare
tufliciciiity v%iiilili^i«d our lUibi f

Jta. You are uuque»cioiiiiUy entitled to a jury

CwtM. Mr Serjenut, yuu will prmide um litl^

S^. Let us see— you huvc i\*t nbjCTdon to sir
GcoffB VilUrs, die evil genius al Brutus, the
glloM of fiooquo. Mm Veul *

Cdttn. We object to u wuiaan your wor-

»Uin

Juu WliY, it is nwt the practice^; llii«, it must
Ijc utkiH-d, i» wi cstruordini^iry case. Uut, how.-
«vrr, if, nil cnnvictiun, the l'li»ntum bhould plead
|)K|;wuicyi Mrs Vcui wtti be admitted on ttie ju-
tj of matrouii.

Scr. I tJmuk your worsbip : Ibcii, tlie court n
adjourned.

(TuaENceani/ Ocrmot in an upper hox.

'JTer. By mr simul, but I will »paLe !

Ihrr. Arniji, t>c quiot, IVrciice.

Tfr. Dibble burn me, but I will ; hut, hiK.
VOt ipalce ! vrfaat stiuuld ail uie I tlorkcc, you
Mr Justice

Scam. Hollo, wltac's th« matter now, \\*iil i

J}fT. Liuve ulT, hottey Tercace, auw vou arc
wdl

Ttr. Drrmoc, be easy

Seam. Hmr liim \

Ttrt. Hear him \

Ttr, Ay, lienr him, bear him I why iJie mat-
Mr it diik, Mr Jtisiica : that tittle boppinc fellow
there, chat Dtibhn jounul man, is aa great u liar
aa c»cr wns Uint

T^nr. How snP

7'cr. Ay, prillu.'e d'm't bwldor mt; ! what d'ye
team DO UKirr muiiucrt nt Oxford rollrg^p, than
U) stop a joittleuiitii iu the midst of \m 4|t9vch Ue-
fore be l»cyms? oh, for slmiiM* of y^nirwlf* —
Why ilie matter i* this Mf Justice : 'liiat there,'
wliat the dilit>le d'ye eall hiiu, Pr^-Fninii'rar; —
but, bv n>) sliL'til, tlmt is uuiie of bi» luime nei-
ther i I kitOH the little l(u.%tunl as wnll its niynkclf;
w to Faiiuy the Pbuiilmu, loti); life- tu the poor
jimUcwuiiuui; lie bnotvi no mure ui hcr^than the
waxhvt wIki borv Wf

Suits. IndffcH ! i;ood lord, youwirpri^e me •

'Vrr. Arrnb, now, hciney Su(t», spiike wbetiyoa
arc ftpoLt; to ; vuo ar'n't \x\yn\ the jury, mv jeucl,
now ; by luy slitiul, you ait: u little to<» I'uC tor a
ghosL

'l\rt. Prithee, friend Bpbraim, let liim f>o on :
let Dft bear a little what be would he at — —

TVr. I Mty, Itc LuowK itolbin^ about the csM
that i» litiuLUted here, d'ye see, ut alt, at all ; bc-
cuuac why, 1 hnuiit ha' been from Dublin abore
four week% or a muutli, and I miw him in hi*
fttiiip every day ; so titat bow could he lie here
and tJierc, ton ^ unless, iudccd, be u»cd to fly
backwards and furwanls and tliBt, yuu we, is
impossible, bccuuse why be has got a wooden

Scam, What the ilcvit i& the fellow about?

Tire. I Mnole him — Hsriter, Terence, who do
you lake tJiet laiuc unn tu be ?

Ttr. Oh, my jci<r(l, I know liioi well enough
tiure by hi» parson, for all he thout^ht to coucvil
liiinscif Ly Utnnijiiiji his name

Scuin. Why, it i» Foote, you tool !

YVr. Arrali, who?

TTire. Foots.

TVr. Fnt, whsit tltc lecturo-maii, Pa

'lire. Yc8.

Tft-. Arrali, be cosy, honey

Scam. Nay, inquire of SucJs,

SmIs. Truly I am mimlcd 'twns he.

Ttr, Your liiinible servant vourvelf, Mr 9udi ;
by my shout, I'll wa^er you tiirec thirtccns to a
rap, ihaC it i» no such matter nt all, at all.

Scam. Dune — and be judged by the cora|>nny.

Tier. Done— til ask tlio oraiur bimsell' — here
he coiiiCi.

Enter FooTL.

Harbcc, buncy Fot, was it yoarself tbatwa» bfl|>-
pine nbout here but now?

r\>olt. I have heard your debate, and mu^t
give judgment against you ■

Ter. What, yourself, youraelf!

Fnott. It was ■ - -

Ttr. Then, faith, 1 hare lost ray ihirteens —
Arruh, but Fot, uiy jewel, why are you after
playinji sucli pninlth, to brioc an hncMM jontlc-
man into company where he is uat— ^BnC
what, i» this selling of lecture* a tbrivii^ profes-
sion f

Foote. I can't determiitc as ret ; the publio
have Im-uii tcry indulgent ; 1 have not lung tip-
ene<l.

Ter. Bv my shout, if it onswcn, will yuu bo
my pupil, ainl team mc the trade?

Fihite. Willingly

Ter. That's an butiest fellow ! long; life to yoa.
lad I [Siit domii.

Fct^e. Having iliui completed our lecturo
on ttie eloquence peculiar to tlw Iwr, we ihalt
prudutc ouc i^reat group ol' uraiuis, iii wbick

036

BUiriSH DRAMA,

[FOOTE.

will l)e cxbibttcd spcdmens of ertry branch of
tiiu Wl. You will Iwrc, ut itiic\ir«, tliu- chole-
ric, ihr plariil, line volubJc, the Iri^id, tite frothy,
■he turcid, ihc calm, and (he cloiitoroub; aiu], a».
a proof of our tsfiuisiit- skill, our subjects nrr
uut »ai'h 116 a I'p^ultir ethLcntvoii hns {ircpurcd for
the rcccpuan u( this Hihliiuc •tdtnce, but a wc of

tUiicrnle mechanics, wbdm ;ou are to supmse
nsscnihttd ut the Uobiu-IIowl iu the Butchet-
Toiv, in order m diacuss aott luljust tbc various
svstcmft of RurojK, IkiI {Kirticuhulji to itctenuitie
the wpumtc iutLTc^L vt' ihrir u«u muibcr coun-
try.

[Ent.

ACT III.

SCENE l.-~Tlunai»-RiML

TnEpniaincKT ; D;.&MorO'DitQ('UEDA,arAair^
won; Ton Twi^r, u tailor; Stuap, h iAiwv
makcr ; ANvrL,i. unjfA ; Sam SL^ucnrcn. o

batciKr I C.»irHrui.E, a baili^"- AUmtk

petflrr pots be/ore. ihau.

Prr. Sii.r.NL'r^ i^cntlcmca ! .are your poto rc<
plciiishcd with purler?

All. I'ull, Mr Prtjidcnt.

firr. Wc will tlirn, pnicccd to the Wiinns of
ilic daj; and let mc bcf^ K^nUeii>en, Umt jou
will, in your (k'Ullt^ pri-wrvf \\r.\i decency and
dntiriitu lliat is due to the iinpurrancc of your
dr libera tioit-s und ibc di^ity of ihis itluHrioui

asseiiiblv

[Get t up, pu Us off" Ait kat, and re(uis the
motion.

'Motion inad« la^t Monday, to Ite dcliatcd to-

* day, That, fur the futurt.*, inUcnd of that vtilt^nr

* putation called jiartrr^ the hoiinurablc mf^inb»'r9

* may he supplied with a proper quantity of liiiih

* uaqucbaugh.

' Dermot O'Orocucda I bu marL'

<yj)ro. \OtttMp] That's I mvKlf!

Trt, Mr O'Druuhrda.

(YDro, Mr President, the case is this. It i^
not becaw I am any crrai lover oi tliat same u^
qucbaufEh, that I liave set tny morli t>> the motion ;
but because I ilid not think it ivnt decent for n
uumher of jontleiuen that were^ d'ye we, m«t tr>
scttl« the a^in of the itatioii, to be guziJiii^ u
p«t of jMirter. To be *ure, tho liquor \^ a pretty
sort of liquor ctiuuftli, when a man is hot uiui
trotting between a couple of poles; but thii> i«
aiiotlHT ^lleM ttiKitLT, bi:duse why, the hrad is
cnnccrncd: and if it wati nut for tlw ntah aiid
U)c haps, dlhhif- hiiim n>c but I vtnuld ns suoii
lake a drink from the 'innmn, as your porter.
fiiil as to o-Mjocl^nuph ; ati, lone life to tlie liqunr !
— it ia an cxhilimtor nf the howel>. aud a »n^
matic to the head ; I uy, Mr President, it in-
vigorates, it fttimuUtCs, it — in short, it is tltc iit»-
licst lirjuDr of life, and no wan nlire will dit*
»hit»t he driultk it.

\Sttt down. Twist f^ttfi up, Aarin^ a piect
qfpapfr, containtng the heaJt n/'vAat ie
uyj, in his hal.]

Ph. Mr limothv 'lw»t.
.1

i

Tn<i«/. Mr PrcMdem, I wcood Mr O'Di
da''> motion; and, »r, i^ve ute leave — I sa'
Preudeul [Loofct m Aa hat.], j^trc me lea
obsenc, that, sir, tliough it is impt^sMblc u

any force to what Im^ bi.i-n ndvaucei) by my

nuurobic friend in the stiaps; jet, air, [/^otrib
into his /(if again,] it may, tir, I aay, be ucoe>-
sary in obkiiitc some objections that dulj ba
Tootlc to the awtioa. AimI first, it may lie tlioii|bl

—I soy, Mr, some |:entletnen may ll^k,

that this may prove prriiirinns to our oa-
uufactui-r — [Jjooks in An hat.] — aod tbr duti,
duubilei>», it Ik of L'lcry member of cbi) illuurioin
as'iciiihly t'» baic n particular eye onto that,
but, Mr' Pit ddpiit— lir— [Lonb inhiskct, is cm-
fused, and sitt dnum.]

Pit: Mr Twim, O pray fioish, Mx Twjtt !

I^itt. [OtiM up.} I -ay, Mr Preaulent, that.
^i^, if sir, it be considered tluit — as — I say—
[JjMkt in Aij hat.] 1 have nothing; iaitber tv ny-
[.S(/i doan, and StbaP gett upA

Pre. Mr !*to»p.

Utr/jp. Ml- I'rcsiilenl, it was not my inlctitiaa
to trouble the a<ijcinbly upon thi& occuHon: Uit
vihci) I hear U)>inuatiunB thrown oiit by ^
men, where the inli-rCAl of this otu'try
deeply contxriicd, 1 owu I cannutsit silent
l^ive me leave to say, sir, ihete n«cr
t>ireihi5:ui<>emblyapomtof more impoitSDce:
itiis; it strikes, sir, at the lery root, sir, of jour
coiisdtuuon : for, sir, wliatdues thi& metioaBB'
ply? It implies tjiai porter, n wholewtae^ do-
mestic manufacture, is to be pmbibiied at gacr.
Aod for whni, sr? for a foreign pcriiicinuscaaK
iiMxlity. I had, lir, fornicri* thc> hin»our, m ooa-
junetiou with my Irnrned friend in tlic leadic/
apron, to expel iherhet fn'm n(uiioc>it as, u I
looked upon lonif>iu iis a fatal and ^raJKii hv*
— mid can it be thought, sir, that ] >«iU sit sflcai
to this? No, air, I will put ray shaul<l#n ^nMJj
ii::niri« it; 1 wilt oppose it manibun t«tihms.tar
should tliis proposal prrrail, » will ooc cod ho?:
fatal, give me lenw to say, will. I fofwee. hti*
i<.wc; and I shn'ot be sorprisrd in o few riwr%»
bear fruni the same tiuarter, a moboo for tlw n*
pulsiou of jctn, und a praiaiuai for tbc ioipomr
tiun of whisky.

[A hum of approNitiffH, with tignifie*mt\^
and ainKi from tht otktr u>tM{er% H*
tin dovn, and A»vtL and awthtr mf-

sion: but
otry^^H

Foots.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

I

I

I

I

her gri up tagrtkir ; some cry Axvit,
ethers Ja( OB.
Prr. Mr Aunl.
JhtiV. Mr Prcsiilcnr, >ir- —
[TV mOMbers all blon' their notet, and couf^h ;
^sviL iafki ail thv mhile, but u mtU
heard.
Pre. ?A\enr*, gentlcrnrn ; prnjr> gentlemrn !
A wonhv member is up.

Anvil. ( snv, Mr f 'resident, tliiit ifweootUH
der thi^ cm»e in ils ulmoftl c»tenl^[wJ// the vtcm-
ben couth, and fc/iw Iheir ntnr* w^tiin,] I sHjr,
•ir, [ will. NaVf I \w\M un bcitii: hftinl. If any
■fi^kitlemoii hu any tiling tn say unv m Kore flsc,
111 henr liim.

\\tetnhfrt all lau;:h : AxviL «V» rfoa»n in a-
/MUfiin, «nrf "^i, hVGllTrit gr/« up.
pre. Mf Sjirnncl Slnuulncr.
Slaugh. Sir, I declnrc ir.at the bare lionrinjtof
ituA tirre motion, I am all ovrr itt n swear, for
iny part, I cuii't iliiiik wlint ^rutlnnrri nimii by
Miking in that there manner ; not but I likes that
cv^ry man »lii)ulit ilcliver his niiinl ; I rl'ici mine ;
it has beco cvei'iur way; amt when n member op-
pose* me, I like Mm the Wtter for it; its richi;
I am plraied ; he (^n't ptraAc inc more; it is a»
it shootd be; noii ihou^K I differ from the ho-
nourable genlteman in the tlBmiel niijhi-cap over
lh« war, yet I nm plruM-ri to bear liiin kiv what
be tbinkd; for. «ir, n% 1 saiit, it is itlunys utyrule
If> >:\y what 1 think, ri^bt nr wronic. [^-1 loud
Atii^A.J Ay. ay, gentlemen nmv IihikIi; with nil
my heart, I am used ^l it, 1 ttim't nijnd it a fnr-
thiog : bgt, sir, with n^rd to ihdt ihci-c mutioii,
I eTtfircly agrre with my worthy frientl »vit!i (he
pewter pot at bis mtMith. Now, &ir, I tvoiilcl fain
aak any i^ntlcmnn this here ffnesiion : Cni) any
thing in nature be more natural fur tin Enclibb-
man than porter ? I doclare. Mr President, I
think it ilieiniist nholeioiiH^M tiquDrtn tlie world.
Out if It must he a cliai^e, let us ch:tn£e it for
rum, n wholcio'ne, palnlable liquur, a litjuur that
t — III idiort, Mr frcsideni, I don't knoir such a

liquor. At, geiitlenieii may store -. I iay, and I
Mky it upon, my conkcicnce, ( don't know such n
liquor. IleMde^ I tluuk there i^ in this here nf-
fair a {.•»iut of Inw, which I shall leave to the
coiisidinitiDn of (he learned; aiul for that there
reuson, I hhall take up no more of your time.

J He till tlomn, Catciipole gett vp.

Pre.' Mr Catchpi>lp.

Cateh I (jet up to the point of law, And
thou|th, sir, I am bred (o the husineis. I can't say
I am prepared for this question. Rut though
lhi« uH)uebnll^b, n^ a riram, may not fby name)
be (tuhjci-t (■► a duty, yet it is my opinion, or ra-
ther belief. It will be conntdered, ft* in the ciue
of bones, to cumc under thf article of dried

Soodf. But I move, that another day this point be
ebatetl.
Staiigh. I fccnnd the moEiiin.

[CATC«i*otE fira a pa^'tr t« the Pretidcnl,
frAd rrad' it.]
Pre. Henr your motion.
* That it he debated next Tburvlay, Whether

* ttie dram, U'ir|i)clta'jch, i% Subject to m p:irtii^ilar
' duty : or. as the ciue of horscf, to he con&ider-

* cH under the nriicle of dried goods?

AIL Acreed, agreed f

PiMte. And now, Indies and gentlemen, havin|{
profiiiced to yitu gtnriug proofs of our gre:it ahilit?
in evtry species "f oratorv ; luiriug manift-ntcH,
in the persnus of nur pupils, our iiilinitc address
in comcyiii? our knowledge to others we shall
cliise our moniini;'* Urltire, instituted for llie
public Koo<l, with H pn^posal for the particular
improvement of indinduals. We are ready to
ijivc priv;ue instructions to any reverend gentle-
uan, in bis pndiatioiiMry sermon for n lectur*^
ship ; to young Inirristers, who have cauaea to
open^ or inutiiuis lo make ; to all condidntea for
die sock or buskin ; or to the new memben of
any of lho*e oraturital soc'ieiie*, with which this
metropolis h at present m plentifully stAcked.

\ Kreitntemiifi.

Y0L.UI.

av

ACT L

SCENE t—A room in Emily's house.

Enter 'Eutir, fithoietter open in her Hani;
and Mademoiselle Florival in man's chthet.

Emily. Re nswred, that I witi da ci'crj ihinj;
ID m^ power to serve you ; my brother knew (hat
be in^t oommArKl my Krvice — Be cotnfortcil. I
bCMeoi vou, lUHdain.

f/o. You caiiDut Mrondcr, mndoni, that 1 fthould
be shocked, extremely shocked, at the cracl dt-
ccuity of appearing l>cforc you io m> iruJclicate a
disguise.

Kmitjf. Indeed yoa need not : there is aoroe-
thio^ ill your manner, wliich convinces me, that
every action of your lite carries its apotu^y along
with it ; though I will not venture to inquire into
the pnrticubrft of your story till your min<l 16
more *t eate.

Fio. Alas, madam, it i» my iDtcrcst to mnle
yau arr|uninted with my storr. I am the daugh-
ter of .Slunsieur Flonral, a Frcndi physician, in
the inland of Belleisle. An English uttirer, who
liiul hcen desperately wouTided, wah, after ttic
capituIatioQ, for the sake of dae ftttendaace, ta-

ken into my father's hnuee ; awl, as I, in ifcewtj
early part of my life, had redded lo England ^
took some pleasure in my cnn«er*tatlun. !■ *
won), he won my nffirctians, and fwked mt of "J
falheT in mnrriagr : hut lie, alas! too raockir
ilueuccd hv the narrow prriudices »o (*«««■
betvteeo the two nabims forbade the dboa I*
ItouH', but not belorc tve were, by the iwa* »"
lemn engagements, lecretly cootnctcd *p «■*
other.

Emil^. May I luk the otBcerV name?

Fttt, T.xnjte me, madam. Till I see * h''
from him once more, uiy prudence, faailTt *
call it nlmt you will, will «cnroe cuffer bc *
mention it. Your brother, indeed, is acifiaaM
with

fmiTy. I beg your pardon 1 hope, hatuf-

you have no re«Bon to think jourielf im|tt*"*
or for^otlea f ,

Eh. Oh no ; far from iu He w«i Moa ffv
led by orders from EngTaod ; and on my fr***^
prexsuig me to cnn«cnt to another loaich^'

pnssion 1 blusli to own it— ^-imwfKH*^ *

so i'ar, as to deport abruptly from BcOtf'"' '

\

I

came over in ui Itns^ish ship to PorLsmoudi,
where I eipected, accordiitfr to letters he hod
irunthved to send me, to 6nd the officer. Rut,
jud^e of my disappointiner.t, when I leinit, tfiat
lie embarlied, but three days before, for tlie siege
of the Havanmh.

£/mif. The llAvannah !^— Vou tduch me ocnr-
Ijr — PniT, go on.

Fio- In a strnnpe kincdoni — aJniie — and a wo-
Wwii — what rould I do? In order to drfcait iiK
quirrn after uic, I dla^uised. myself in ll»9 Finbit,
and mtit vtith the ot&ccrs uf llic iilacv ; but your
brulbcr MMKi diM>ivcred my uncntiness aitd aaw
ihrtiugU tnv dUKuiw. I frankly ctinfcucd to him
c»cry particukir of my »ti>ry : in coiisefjiience ut
which, he hat tliu» generously recommended ni«
la Tuur protection.

Emiiy. And you niny liejjend on my friendsliip.
Your Mtuatiun nficcts mi* btnuigely.

Fh. Uh, mndnm, it is nnpo^Mf: to telE vou
half tl4 miseries; ^penally *iiirc vuur brfX^cr
has ruuviaccd lue that I uni iu liable to be dis-
co* c/rd.

£mitjf. You kIwU throfr off that dress RS snnn
«s pouible, and then 1 will ukc vou into thr
beuie with me and nty aister — -In tlie mean

Ciilic, let roc see too every day every hour.

I shall not be afnud that your visiiA will afKrct
■ly reputation.

Flo. Yoa are toi>.|;ood to me. [Wtcpiit^.

Emily. Nay, thu u too much ; it uvercunie*
■IT. Pniv, be cheerful

Flo. I numbly take mv leave.

Fmily. Adieu, 1 ghull ei|>ect yon tn dinner.

Flo. 1 »hall do myself ttie honour of waiting:
«a you. [Ktit l"i.o.

Emily. Po'ir woman ! I thot)|i;ht my own nw
easiness alntu&t iivtnpportutilc ; and yet, huw
coocfa auut bcr anxiety ckoecd miijc I

Enter Bell.

Beil. Sn, sitter! I Diet your fine cpiitlemnii.
Upon my word, the voung spark mu^t l>e a fu-
vmiritje.— Vou have fiad a tele-A-tiie of nbure
kftlf an hour inseilit^r.

Emily, llow d'ye like him?

BeiL Not at nil : a %oh laily-like aentlcnian,
Willi a white lituid, a minciu^ t)tep, and a unooth
)>«!fciii. Where does this pretty otaster com^.-

Kmthf. From mv brother.

Bcli. Who is be f

£mily. A present to yoa.

Bell A prr<cot to iite ! what d'ye mean }

Emily. Why, did not my brother ppJiLiise to
Cake care of toh, before he went abroad ?

htlL Wrlf. and wim then?

Emily. Whattlicu! Why, he has taken can-
>«r jr<M-*-flent yno a pretty fellow for a hasband.
Could he prisublv take better i-are of you?

Bt/i. V huiband !— a puppet, u doll, u —

Smi^. A lotdier, Ball I— a red coat, coundcr.

Bell, A fnie soldier, indeerf f— T ean't bear to
sec a red coat corer any thint^ but a man, sister.
— Gii'c me a soldier that looks a« if lie could love
loe, and pntlert me ; iiv, ilnd tame me, too, if I
deserved it. — If 1 was to have this tliiiiK for a
huvband, I wntild Kt him at the top of the Tndia
cabinet with l)ie CSina ^gures, uul bid the niiud
take care she did not break him.

Emily. Well, well ; if this is the case, I don't
know what my brother will say to you. llcrc*«
hi* tetter; read it^ and send him on answer your*
Bcfr.

Brll. [ Rettds.] * Dear sister, the bearer of tht«
letter is rt lady 1^— So, so ! your serrant, madam I
and your's, loo, siwer !— * whnw case is truly
' rompaMlfutaie, and whom I iunt«i eanie&ily rc-
' commend to your protection/ — Um*-um— um
— ' lake care of her,'— Uin— urn — uni'— " not liio
' many tiupStions;* — Vm — um — -urn — * in town in
* a few days.'— I'll be whipt now, if this is not
same mistress of bin ?

Emily. No, no, Bell, I know her whole his-
(■■■7 It U cjiitie El little nmel. She is a French-
woman, Madcmr>i-tf-ile Florival, run away from
her l»thrr at Bcllrislc, and dying for on rjit;itah
genilfimin at the llavaiuiak.

Betl. The llavanoah ! Not for colftnel Tanj-

|ier, I hope, sister i

Emily. If colunel Tamper liad been at the tft-
kinc of Bclleisle. too, I shotild liave been fright-
C1K^d nut of my wit6 nltout it.

Hfll. Suppose I should bring you some news
of him ?

Emily. Of whom *

Hell. Cnlnnel 'I'amper.

Kmitv. What du vou mean f

Brll. Only a cnrti.

Ktkily. A rani! froinwh-MU? What curd?

Bell. Oil, wlui a dcb^btful flutter it puu her
into !

Emily. Nay* biit lell me.

Hell. Well then— while your viiiior was here,
there came a card from luxjur Bclford ; and I
|{>.)k (lie litK-riy of sending an nnvvcr to it.

Eituty. Let me see it ! Dear UcU, let mo sae
it!

Belt. Oh, it was nothing but h'ts compliment*,
and dcsirioft to have the h'twinr of waiting on
vtiU «nT time this morning from cnlontl I'sunf^r.

Emilv. Fmm colonel TainiK-T !- — What can
tins mean ? 1 am ready to sinK *ith fcfii^— Why
does he not come him«clf ?

Bell. Ho** not arrived — not conic to town yet,
t suppose.

Emiti/. Oh, Bell ! I could s'jppose twenty
thing) t1iBt terrify me to deatlt.

BcU. I think oovk, sach a me^MWee ought to puC
v<m quite out of your pain ; he c^uikl not come
from ci>k>nel Tamper, if there was no such per*
son in beitif^

EmUv. \f : hut »iipposo any ncudent shoold
liave hnjipeiicd to biiu ! Heaven forUd 1 Hu«r

i

340

BRITISH DRAMA.

[CoLMA

uaforluiiate it is to dint up<tti a naa, whose piT>-
l&suon uposn him huuriv la ihs risk of Im
[life!

Belt. l»rd, Einily, how can ynu tAmiMit

jfinxruiit Midi ^grJi Itiirrifl iiiitwuinUuii-* ? BrsidcS.

[ «bould thf wdist r<»nko itt eIh: wor« — it u but n

liMcr iuBt ; v)d Uiut it b iou ciisil; rcptiited, you

know.

£nw/y. Co, jrrm lasd-cap ! but you'll pay for
nil llii» our day, I wnrnuit ytiu^ when you came
Cu tv li&nrlily in (ur il yourrclt'. Ikll, ynu Mitl
kih'ttt', ihut Mtieii a [iiirc mihI diviiitcrc^icH }junbii>n
fiiU the broAit, Mheii kkcc a tvoiiijui Un5 wt her
hoiri u|)uu ■ iiiaJi, nothiitji in tiic world but thai
teiy lOHii tvdl tvcr umku I'lt liM}ipy.

BciL I adiiiirt yuiir wuiitg yiur lieArt, ns you
cull it, uf ull things. Your fiivu, rtiv dt'ur Kiuily,
jft not so rumniitic. You piiih upon n ninn of li-
gure niid forluitc, biuidtninc, wiibihlc, ^'iuit<im-
lutcd, tu>d well-Wed ; of nml in liN-, ami crf-dii
in hiR profi-eiiuu ; a luau tlwl liuH' ilie hihik-ii hi
luwn would pull caps for; and iht'ii >itu talk,
(iki! n sly prude, of your pure utd ilinntrretMi-d
pauoti !

Kmiltf^ ^'hy» then, I drclnre, if be Itnd not n
frinii) on rartJi, ur u »li(ihni> in LJie nnrld

if hr waii lu itiiiierahlc uit Lite iiluio<<t imilicc of
dl iiirtuue ' uuld itial^'.' him, I uuuUl pretVj' cult^
nd Tamper tv the Tiret duki- in lUe kii^doiit.

hcii. Ubi »»trr. Ll it a miahiy easy i)iiji» hit
pernuLis ru'ihi)^ iu atDucucc, and ucuufli utid !Ui,
Ui lalk of liviug oil bread and waler» and Uie
coinfortf of lutL* Ml n cotttiuc.

Kmiiy. The ci>ath-and-:^ix. Ik:ll, «ould give
link' Impjiine-i to ihov who could not be happy
with<»ut It. \V lien uiKu the heart 1iiii< itctiled iVe
affpcti'ms, how mean is it to withdraw thciw for
any pallrv conMilrrnlifrfis, of what iiiiturc soever !

JirU. I ihuik llir Imly doth i)r<ite<-t %»•} much,

fimi/y. Ay, but tlie'll ke«p ncr wuitl.

IIhUi Servant.

Scr. Major Belford, mnrluD. [ExU,

Emiltf. .Show Itim m — Oil, Ikll, I am ready lu
drop Aid) apprelieUMuu !

£n/cr M&JDit Bklv obd.

Krlf. LadieAt your hamhle sprraot — [Stiutn
tkem^ — I rejoice to find you mi well.

Beit. And wecongrutulateyou, nM}(ir, uu yuur
uTc return fnim thi* lluvitniiali — bow does your
friend cok»n«l raiipperdo.'

Bftj\ Ur l» vtrv well, madam; but

EmUt/, Hut what, sir — I am frighted beyoud
«prtMion^U lit ill lii^land?

Betj'. ^'c-5, madam.

/Imi/y. In ton ii ?

Btif \v*^ huuIhtd.

fmi/v. Why bavo oat wc the pleasure of seo
im, tiicii ^

htif. Ue'll be here immediately, uwdam.

KmUy. Oh, vrell }

BciJ. Uut it wa» ilmuglu propef tlmi 1 sboald
wait OH yuu fine, lu prvpare yon for his reetp-
tiun.

Emilij. To prepare me' What dort he meant

BriJ. Only to prevant your bciog aimnfd u
hi» u)i|K^ninco, madam.

Emily. Alarmed! Yoo terrify oift mom mkI
more — whiit i< the niatterf

}ki/. Nny, (loihinj: — a inBe^iiir merti
of war— /« fiuiune tU Lt guerrt^ a» the Fn
eull it ; tlinl'ii all, mndaai.

£«iVy. Tui upon the rack De«r lirj a-

pliiin- -

Btt/. Tlie coi'mel, ytm know, mmkn. is m
iiiuji uf kpifil — Having exposol bis pr-rvm very
iiutlnntly ui ilic wveru nccton) hcfuic the itnrn
of the l^iitannah, he received many wounds; "w
vr two of which have been attended nuli rallicr
di'';iL;rocahlc cii'cum^lanccs.

Fmilif. Hue is i)»e c(fl»ut!l well at prcanu, sirF

Hrlf. KiLreincIy \«cll. madam4

Eimiy. Arc not the riinsequcDoe» of his wnuad*
lil;fly lo rndnu^cr hi« Utui

Rt(l\ Not iu iht: Jcasl, nuulam.

Einiiy. I am »Bti»:')cd— Pray go czi, sir.

biff' Uo not you be alarmed, madam.

Emttif, Kr(!i> mc no lunger in iuspcnoe, I
secdi yuu, sir f

Bell. What canal] thtsoMan?

Bt!f. The two pi'iitcjpat wounds whcii thetiK
lonel rccctrcd, madam, were, one a little abo«v
lI)(: knee, and aiiutlicr in bis fiMX. 1b cotur-
quetice of the tint, lie was reduced to ilie nem-
bity uf ^nviiig his life by the loss of » l«g; and
the latter hoft deprived him of the aighi of in
eye

Emiiy. Oh, Heavens ! [Reeihf loJntS,

Btll. Piwr Emily ! How could you be sn kl>'
nipt, sir? *I>e vinlent ncimtion of bcmiiut a
Iou' much for Iter ^ini».

Jirlf. Ktcui*: mr, roadam-^^I w«5 niaiicf
making you uneasy ; and yet it was aoaamij
you ^h<lllld bi> noquaintrd witli thcw circuaiitia'
rL-9. previous to youP seeiuc the Cidmiel.

Emily. [Reconering.] — Lust w Ic^ and an ■to),
did you My, Mr i

Btlf. No, not an arm— an eyf^ rmulani.

Emify. Ancyc! Morscaiid wursv Poorti^

lonrl !

Brtf. Ilnllicr unfortunate, to be sure. BirtM
should consider, madnm, that we liave saved h*
life; nnd tlicse weru Micniic«9 ncoe«t«ry iW JR
prtKrvntiuii.

Emily. Very true. Ay, ay, so » he ha»^
hi^ litV, I am ha|>py. And I u4i|!ht uuw (o U ^
iiuhcd tr, him, not only (mm XamAmve^ ^
i:<>m|ja»ion.

Brtf'. jVl'ter all, madam, his appc-i. '
iiiitr-li liciTcr tlutu YOU iiuiy nuacifwr. 11 -
by iJh help of a black ribband, a eery Ltdsdr

JOLWAN.l

«rt

\

fliKured ; aad ha Imm gpt ■ %he \e», made so na-
tunillr, thnt, except n Mnntl liitrh in lii« •rnit,
tbera it DO niBtcria) alteretiuu in Im persun iim)
(lepnrttDvnt— [k'«id^-» wliicli, in poiut of hoaltli
WMt ipihis, h* i» pariicularlv welt.

EmUjf. I mm gUd ut' it, but* ulns ! lie, whoMt
ptnom mu to chnnuiii'j ! Ai»t iben )iu eyes,
that were «i Lrillinni ! So full ui setiitbilitv !

BeiC I'hri ai-i'ulrnt, mnilaiD, nn his own ac-
onitit, giu> biiu iMi ii.icnMiii-u; ui «av the iruih,
Im utenaa rather vitin uptiri it: 1 could U'l^i,
tiiercl'ure, mtIiuii ti« oimr's. that voti would tivt
»c«m too det'iilv fiir>-rind, tint ratlittT asvume an
air n( c|i«Hrliilii»s lc»t nnv vi^iiblQ uncasincftv in
yuu iImkiU «tmrk theroluiicl.

Rmtit/. Pi><>r tuiuitH ! 1 kuuwr liis i>ensil)tlilv.
Xei n»e t'rtrtt-nTDtir, ihfrelVir*, to cwicioce him,
that hr i« a» drar to me as ever ! Uh, scs, rn^vt
mm wluu, II will, I must Uiuw liim, tl):it the prtv
■enmtian of hit hie i% au rntira coabolauuu to

■le.

Knter Sfrmnt.

Srr. Coltinri Tamper, mnduni.

hMify. Elif What? [DiiorJfred.

Jicll. Dnirp the culoiicl to witlk U]> — t:oinpi>«r
t«Hirw*jr, mjf Uf-ur ; pnor Kmily ! I aiu in pain for
her. [AtiJf,

Katcr Coiov St. Tamper — liiim up to Emilt.

7W. Uy Heareet Entily ! lluw happy om I to
see vuu unco again f I havo bRHl|;ht bacL tlic
liuiK'U liean und lund which I derouiri lo yon ■■
ms lu ttw r»t ut' luy body, you mx I did not cure
Mipcuce whiic bemuui uf it. MIm Hell, I reiolir
i'» txm ymi so well— Major, 1 am yourfi — Uut,
«jr fctnily

£M)7y. 0(i, adnnel !
I [lianfi iNfii /f<;rc, iin<^ /ruaJ upon Bblu

Tmal lltiw'tlbi*? rcar»!

BttL You sb<iuld not have rollowed the iiia-
jur Ml siMHi, Cfilont^l ; blie hail ftmrce recovered
the &nt fthock iVuiii Ins luu-lliguiice.

Tuia. My impatK'ncr t^onld Hlflcr nw to delay
aa pjiijrrr — W'hy do v«m wwp aU| Kiitily? Arc
V'tu »urry to wc nic agniii }

Knulff, ^uitTj to sc« yuu unfortanate.

[nw;»r»^.

Tarn. UDforuinate ! call ine rather inri'inuic ;
1 tan coRie back alira; aliv« and nuYrv. Bimly.

£mi/y. I am i;lad yoa have saved ymir li'V'.

[Wgeptng.

Tam. 1 darr ««v yon are, l/tnk on me, I lien
What, nnt oitc ^Innrc ! ^Vul^t ynii doii^n lo lo<ik
tm yor p<n»r inatiiKd •olilicr?— [P«i«»*a,*.l^l«
it prnsiUp, tlicit, thai any little alioratHMi nl my
|»>r>nti can occasioa a ch»ii}te to your iieuii-

BCNtl?

jSmitif. Neror. roloncl, iwvrr 1 it it aurrty no
mtmrk ui* a ant uf uiIiictHm to be w rouob hurt at
your toitfiiiium's.

noL ^ufortuiicft! No laitfortiinef at all —
■iaU eo« lotdwr— iiotlting but the ordinary

indJentt aud conifnoii casuafritM nf H% hfn
mart;} of honour — lod loWeii&nt' valour — I de-
clare 1 IxiHr ihefa about with nic as ttir most

honournble kmAgptof my proleauoti 1 aiit

prfHiH of ihetn 1 would not pjirl witli thta

woudfii \c^ lor ihv beat ilesh and Mood in Chtift- '
teiidum.

Emilt/. And can you really be so uneotioeroetl \
at (hts iii-i'iilrnt?

Tarn. RlaUv ; and yiHi ahull be unconrvracd*
loo. Kinily. Vuu kliall liiiil iiiori; in nic still, iJuia
in half the battered mke* and lops alKiiit luwii.
It injures tiic nu mure iliiui it doo a tiiie tree, to
l»p my branches. My tnink h heart uf oak, and
I ohall iliii«c tlie Iwutr for it.

FmUv- Ut>t >« there no hope of rniTiHwrin); yntir
eye a|^m * Oh, we muu have the bMc advice —
Is iho siihl ijuite lo»t? !

'Tarn. Quite; bliixl as a milUltorM^ — bllnfl as •
becile, Kiinly— ^Ititl what diic* that signifv ?
Lore IS blind, y<>a know- ; ami if I have lost one
eye, why, tlK-y wy, 1 afaidl ace the Himrrr witK
tivc utlior.

Emiiif. 1 cannot look at him without Hhmldei^
ioj;. I Rrf irrx, and iiti dovn.

BeU. What actioo was ic you sutlea-d in, co-
lonel i

Turn, l^fore the MomCa«tle, madam, lieforc
the iMorn — hot nork, litawnji hut, by sen and land,
I aasun' yuii, iiiadam. Ali, tltc Muro, the Mora !
Uut if incit go to run their heads a^ntt stnn»- .
wallv ihry muat cxpci't to have a sconre or twrr
tiniken, iK-rnrc ihey make llieir way threap them
— Eh, niUK>r ?

Hell. .Vlajor B^lford was w-ith yon?

Turn. All the while. Itic major and I fought
»ide by side, chrck byjowl, till I fell, maditm !
We paid the Dous — didn't we, raa)>-ii-? But V'e-
luMTo, poor Vclasco ' A line bmvc I><jn, must be
nwnfd^l had rather have died like Vela>ou,
th.in Innu litcil to be genenliMiinin.

Wc//, \Ti} LtaiLT.j — How are you, ai»ter?

Cam. Nay. pndicc, Kmily, be mmforied !
Mure than ail ihii mii^ht have happeited to tne at
home. 1 miifht have thrown away my life in a
duel, or brxkx uiy neck m a foi-c^bai'e : a tit uf
the goui, ur nn apopkxy, nit^ht have maimed me
wn tunes worse forcwr; or a pal «y, perhaps,
have killnl one half of inc at a ^inicle iinike — Vou
inuit not t«ke on tliua— ll you do, 1 btuitl be ex-
tfeiocly uiteaay.

£'Mi7y. Bxcuieme; I canitot Iwlp it — hut, be
n%«urrd, 1 esteem you as much as ever, «tr,

Vnm. Esteem, arwl &ir ! 'litis is cold bnguatr ;
I have not bcea used to hear yoa talk id that
style, Rmilv.

' Rmily. I diHi't know what I say — I am not
well — let me rerire.

Tarn. When tlwdl we nanw the happy day ? I
•ihiilt makn ^hifi lo dance on chat occasion-^—

rh'i«i(h a» Wiihrinittoa fought on my stumpv

i:.tmly. Teil me, wli«n altall wa be loppy *

248

BKITISH ORAMA.

[CoLUAKt

Emiiv. T grow more nnd more funt—tewl me
to tiiT cbflinbcr, Ucll;

BtU. bhc is vtrjf ill (itm*t lease her now,

colonel ; bat let ua trjr to procure her wine re-

Tarn. Ay. ay, n sliort bleep :uh) n little reScc-
tiofi, and all will be wull, I wvre bay; 1 will be
here o^uin soon, and nduiinisicr roruolntiuii, I
warntiit you. Adieu, my denr Einily !

KmUi,. Adieu ! Oil, ikll !

[Etit in tear* uith Btl-t.

Tam. [Ansviiiitig his natural air onii ttHinncr.]
— Iln, hih li:i 1 Well, Ik'lfiird, Mrlint i» your opi-
nion, nun } Wilt >liv stand ilte icM or no ?

lieff. It' aUc does, it is more tlinn you dr-
sene, I coold wisb»lic would give you ii|), willi
all my heart, if I did not think you would run
stark mad with vexation.

J'um. Why oo ? •

Beif. Uecuuse, as I hnrc often (old you be-
fore, this is u niOAt absurr) nnd rittirulous scheme,
a iiitrre trick to inipoM; upon yourvelf, aod, mutt
probuhty, end iu yuur losing the u6cetiou& of an
auiiublc lady.

Turf. You know, Hclfonl, there is ou excess
of seusibitlly in loy leiupvr

Jk^'. Thiit will nUays make you unhappy.

Tam. llalliLTsiiv H "ill eii>urc the t'littiru ha|>-
pitiess of my life. Ilc-rurc 1 bmd myscif to abide
by a wuinaii at all events, and in nil cjiviitusian-
ccti, I mu^t be assured tlmt mhc will, at all evt-uts
and ia all ciicumMaucea, retain her uflectiou for
nif.

Bclf. "Sdeath, I iiaie no jxitii-iicc lo Iiear you.
Have not vou all the rcn»on iit the world Ut rent
aMured, ttiat Emily entertain* a niuit uucerc
passiou for you f

Tam, Perhaps so ; but tlicn I am not c<|iitdly
assured of the biuis on uhich that pUA^ion k
foiuuli»l.

Bflf. Ilcr folly, I am afraid.

Tam. Nay. but I nm serious, major.

jBc^! Ynu arc ti-ry ridiculuus, culuncl.

Tam. Well, vtell ; it doea not u^nily talWiot: :
I must bf cotiyinced that &lic loves lue for bit
own snke, for myac-lf alone; and llwt, wore I di-
vesled of every desirable ^ift of fortune and of na-
ture, and i\vc wii» tu be tuidrL-^wd by fifty oihem,
wlio powc3»eil them all in the motil einiuent de-
gree, she would continue to prefer me to all the
rest of mankind.

B^lf. Most preeioiu refiaeiiient, truly ! Thi^
is the must high-ftnwn metaphysics in sentiment
I ever heard m my life ! picktd up in otie of
yuur expeditions to the coast of France, 1 iiuyi-
pose— No plain Ennlishman ever dreamed nf
«ich a whim — Love you for yourself! for your
own Kakc ! not she, truly,

Tam. How ihto ?

Belf. Why for her own, to be sure and so

would any body else. 1 am yuur friend, and love
f OU a» your friend : and vhy i because 1 am glad

to have oommercc with a fDin of talents bononrt
and liriiiesty l^it me onre we yim bchare bke
X poltnion nr o villain, and you know 1 would eat
your thriiat, colooci !

Ta*n. I ilon't doubt you, major ; bat if fete
don't love me for my ow-u sake, for myself, aa 1
said, how can 1 ever be certain that the will not
trunnter tlint love to aimtber?

Mf. Fur ynur own take' for yourself asaial
why, t^'haL, in the name uf common seme, is this
self of yours, that vou make Mjch a mat abnat t
Your birth, your fortune, your clmmcier, tow
taleuLv and, (icrhiips, sweet cutuiiel, that ««eec
perMiu of yours — all these may have ukcu bcr—
ami huhiludr, and cfintitiunl iutcreuuric maC
iiicri'jiM: her jMirtiBlity for them in ynu. mne
than in ttnw iitiirr pervni. Kut, after all, aant
uf tlitse ilunp arc your4elf. You are but ita.
ftround : uud these qunliticH are woven into your
franie. Yet it is not the nvS^ but t)>e ricmcM
Iff tlie work, that stan)p» a value uit the piece.

7<jifi. Why, this is downright scrtmrniiio^ ma-
jor. (Jive ynu puddin^-slccvfk, and a grinle-
wif^ vou nii)'l)t be clmplain to the rcpment. Yr(
ntatrmiony is a kup in the dark, indeed, if *f
cannot bc-i<irc-hand make ourselves at alt certiil
of the tideliiv luul nHcction of our wives,

}iel/. Mainn^e is prcearious, I pant you^i
must be w. You may play like a warr gaiod

'lis true. I would not mam' a Dntnnri(» prj&
^ntr, uur a nmtuin in a cOu*iUniptiua : but thrn
ib no more anawcnns for the continuance of her
^<nh1 di^potitiim, thnn that ufher gnoi) hedtii.

Tim, Kiiie nuiuniH! maVc use- of tbmi ynor*
Mlf : thcv won't ser^'C me. A tine tinte, inoenL
to experienc«> a ^vomtin's (ideUiy — after my
riage f a time when evpry thntg coo^rr* o
render it her interest to deceive vOu ! So,B*;
no foot's puradi^e far me, Deltoid !

Bel. A fool's paradise is better tlnaawi»-
acre's purgatory.

'i'uiw. 'Sdeath, Bel ford ! who cotites brre'— I
sliaJI be discovered f

[^Rriumiag hu tountnjtit ninasrr*

Enter Prattlc

Pra. Gentlemen, >Dur moscobedieiit: w^
sorry, eiirrinely i-tmircmcd. ti> lirar the uii^

taken ill 1 was sent fur in a viuienthun^

had forty patients to visit — rttotved u? m dw,
lH>wcver^— Major Belford, I rejoice W *er jw
in gixxl hcaltli — Have 1 the boouur uf kuw«4
this ^putlemaii *

[Pvintine to Taupkil, and gwig up t*^^

Tam. itum. hum !

[LuHpin^ uBWf ,/rOffl PhAiTtE, AoWpolMf
flit fiaiuikax/i^t' to hitjacr^

Bfi, .'Vn ac[|uaiDtBJu:r uf nnoe^ MrE^rattl^-

Yun don't know Uim, J believe A lutlc kst

in tl*r service — that's iji.

Ptu(. Accidnits, acrideiil> will h«ppei»— '^
less than setcu broii]^t itfto our io&naujT^

BRITISH DRAMA.

543

I

I

Cerdny. nrtd ten into the luisf iuU Hid you

heat, Mnjor Belfard, that poor lady l)i. Kackct
broke her arm last iitght, by uii orcrturot iVotn
her horse* takirtft fright ntnotip the vast croud of
coachcft Kvttmg in at ludy I'hundcr's rout ; and
ye*tenlnr mnruine. !^<r Ilrltrr SkplttT* who is v>
rcitinrkuily fond of driving, put oiit )i» collar-
boiir bj a fall from his own cuoch-lxixp

Tom. Pui on bi> chattering ! 1 wish hr'd be
gone! [Apart to BELrono.

HeL But your Our pnlirtit, Mr PniiUc

1 nm nfraid ue detain you.

Prat. N"t Hi nil; ■ ■ I'll nttend her imme-
diuiely— [Gttin^, rrti<r<i».]— — -Vou liuro not
beanJ of tlic change in the tuinistry t

Tarn. IMial

&•/. I hare.

Prat. Well, well [Ooing, r*/HrnJ.] — =-

IjuAy Samh MclTi||ebruut;hl to bed. within these

two houn a boy Gcntlenicn, your

aerrani; your very htiinble MTrranl. [Exit.

Dim. Chatlcniii; jackiintwft !

Bet. &■>. the apt^thec^u'y s come nlready-

«c sholl have a cuiiMiUation of phyticiaiu, the

Itnockcr tied up, and straw laid in the street
shortly. — But are not ^u ashamed, Tam-
per, lu ^ivc her all tins uonsineM?

TflW. Xo mancT— I'll make her ample

amend* nt Utt -What could pofieii them to

send for thiii Mod(head i He'll make her worse
and wor»e- lie will abMluiely talk her to
death.

tiei. Oil, the puppy's in fashion, you kooir.

Tiim It is lucky enough the follow did not
kiiuw me. Ilu's a downright he-^ofup ! — nod
any thiii|; he knnwh mi|;ht a« well he published
ill l"he Daily Ad»^erti*er. But come, for fear of
discovcrv, we had belter decamp for the present.
March !'

BfL You'll expoM jounelf confouDdedly,
i amper.

Tarn. Say no ro'tre. I'm rrvilved to pat her
atfection to the that If >hc** thuroogh proof,
I'm made for erer. Come atoog ! [GotJi^,

Ret Tamper!

ruiia. Oh! I am lame— I fornot. [Ltmptirf.

Bei. Ijord, Lord ! what a foot telf-love taakes
o( a innn ! [ Exrunt.

k

ACT IL

SCEN'C I. — Tmil^'s dresaing-rooHL

£KtLT| BCLL, PnkTTtE^ Ittt'lHg nn a to/a.

BfU. I THINK jroQ leem to be a good deal re-
covered, Emily.

Kmify' 1 »m much better than I was, I thank
you lleiRh-ho !

Proi. Ay, ay, i knew we should be belter
fay M(l by— -llicso little Dcrvoit» di«ordcr»
are yttJ common all over llic Umo— merely
ON initio the damp weather, which relaxes the
•oneof the whole system. — The pour cjnchess ot'
Porrelain \m» had a fcicr un her npiriu thcv;
throe weekv— Lady Teaser'* case is abwilutely
liyrtieriral ; am) ludy Betty Dawdle is almnsi
half mod with liiwiiCM of spirits headaches, trem-
biinn, raia fears, and xuiKlcTinc* of the mind.

Emiitf. Pray, Mr Pnillle, liow doe* poor Miss
CoKipiou do?

Pr«t. Never better, ma'am. — Somebodt ha*
removed her disorder, by prescribing very cfhsc-
tsallv.co the miu^uis of Cmnfurd. His inteiid>
cd mollch with Miu llichiiian, the hundred ihnu-
mmi pound fortune, is <^iiite mV; attd so, ma'ant,

BCiM Complon i» perfectly well iifuio By the

bjw too» she ha.1 uiotlicr n-usun to rejoice; fur
ber cousiii. MiOT Dorothy, wlio live* with her,
and began, you know, to grow rather uiil-maid-
i^. n* wf- «ay, mo'iim, made a sudden conquest of
Air Bumper, a IJiiica<^ire eeiitiemiin 'irutrcat
nmr, who catne up to tmtu for tlie (.^hrniinin^;
vnd tlMy w«r» married at Mi»s Comptuii'* yet-
let dar e»enin|.

Belt, I» it true, Mr Pr.it(lc. ttmt iir John

IJkledlej ii K'^'ng '« the south of fmoc^ for the
xecweerj of his henlili }

Prat. Very true, ma'am, very troe, that he's
i;oin^ I pr^^mi«^ voo : hot nut for rhp recovery
of his licalth. Sir .Tolin*9 well en'>Mi;S (>;:Ti«nj;f—
Imt his olTain are in n ti^ll'jpin^ - '•fiMitDf>i!Oit, X
aMure yon. No less than tw'> i-jt^riitioni in his
house. I heard it for fact, ai Indr LModmh'ft,
Poor Kcnitcmftii, I have knoArn his chariot stund
at Arthur's till et^ht o'clock in the moniiuf. H©
Iku had a sad run n Innic time : but that last af-
1W at Xewiuiirket t;Liily undid him.— ^Pray,
ladies have you heard the story of Aldermau
.Manche liter's lady?

Bctl. ( )h, no. Pray what is it f

Prat. A terrible itory indeed ! — Eloped from
her husband, aiid went nfT with lord John
Spnt;htly. Their intention, it vcctns was to go
'1V1T to llollnnd; but the aldi-niKin pursued
tliem to Harwich, and catched them jii*it a* tJier
tvcro goiiiK to embark. lie threntcned lofH
John with a proMcculiun : but lord John, who
knew the alderman's turn, camr down with n
tbuuHand pounds; and so the aldenuon reocired
his wifw and all is wdl a^ain.

HeU. I vow, Mr Prattle, you are eitremely arou-
siiie. Youknow thCchit-chia of the whole town.

I'rat. Can't aroid picking up a few alight an-
ecdotes to Ike sure, ma'am — Go into tlic best
liouM» in town — aliL-nd the first fninjlies in ttxh

kitie;doin nobody belter received nobody

takes rnore can- — iii^IxkIv tries tu give mortt •»•
tisfaciiotu

Bc/L I» ther« any public iMm» of any kind,
Mr Prattle?

Pml. None at oil, ma'am— —except that the
oificers are tnou of them returned from the Uh>
raopah.

S44

BIUTISli DRAMA.

[CvLMA.x.

Emily. So we hear, sir.

Prat, I Miw tiJiini I r:un|KT ve^trnlttT. O,
»y ! and innjar Urli'ord ami nitochrr gcuilrman.
Its 1 cmiae in ti«rc thi» tnoniins^

BeU, Tbnt wus cnloiiel T««»i><"r, *tr,

t'rat. Tbat gentlcuiati. cultwi&l Tamper,
ma'nm I

BfU. Vt-s Mr.

Prut. Pardon lue, ma'am, I know colonri
Tamper verf well. — Thai poor ccntltminn «us
aouicwhnt diMiblrd — hnii Mitivrcd a little in the
wan — culoiwl TaniiHT isiiol <«« unfurtuniitr.

£aUv. tJ vf^ [lint horrid accident!

prut'. Wliiit nciidciit?

Brll. His Moundi — hi» wound*— Don't tpu
know, lit I

Prat. Wounds ina'niit t— l^poa my word I
never hrard he had recvircd any.

fir//. No ! Whv he luttt a leg aod nn event
lltr ^tefte of I tie IlavonnAh.

Pntt. Did lie? Why tlwn, inirani. 1*11 be bold
10 Hir, hc)« ihc totktCBt nmn in the world.

IkU. Why BO, sir?

Prat. Bccuu^r, nmdnnt, if he lo»t a Ic^ mid nn
tyt nt ibf llnvannuh, thry niu^ be gmwii npimii,
or he has viniehow pnicyrcd others ihnt do the
businciR everv whit n» well.

EtnUy. Imposaihic !

prat. I vi-ish 1 may die, madam, if the colonel
had not y<'»trrdiiy twri n» ipwid lep and finr eyrfs
a» any man ii. ttic HOttd ! It' he liMt onu u( euch
ntltiv HHiuiiiinli, wepnrtitionersiti physic !>huald
he luiirh nhlteeil to him to ctiinniiiiiimic hi* re-
ceipt iW itie benefit uf Greenwich oiid Chelsea
bo!i))iralii.

Ewily. Are you oure, sir, that the a>lonel has
had ii't !)i}ch ia»ty ur?

Prat. As surenb ilint I am Iicrc, niodani ! I
raw h'm fioinffinto the whnt-dVe-ciiU-lnm nmhas-
todor'*, iost uvrr afainNt tny hoiiM.', yt-^rcrdav :
ond the laat ptnct- 1 was al tlii<> mornini:, wn» Mr^
Daylii^ht's, where I henrd the cwloitfl wu* nt I>cr
route ^lut nieht, and thnl every hiidy iIh)ui:Iii he
was rather improved than iiiiurrd hy hi* hUf r'*-

diiion. — But, odso ! Laclc-iMtuy, lai-k-n-day,
LHirdny ! — now 1 rcmllFri — hn, liu, hn!

[Ijtuit/iin/f rent hcartHy.

heiL What's the mallpr, .\tr I'ratile >

Prat. Excuse nie. laitins : i can't fnrlienr
lauEhiiLg — hn. Im, hn f— - 'Pif gcntleruuu in

t'ninrr rrami, rolonel TuTii|it!r .' he, ho, ha !

1 tuid [lie rolonrl had a inirKl to pay a vikit in

iiM»4Ucrade thts momiue 1 spoke to major

Bclfurd-—— I thought 1 knew his friend, to<>^

Wit be limped awny, nnd hid hi!> face, nnri wnold

not spcnV lo mc. I'pim my won!, he did it

very well f I could hare sworn there liad t<een an
aniputalion — lie Moutd make a fi^rc nt a mask-
ed bait. tla.ha,hn!

P.mi>v. Brii. H«,hfi. ha!

fl^c^ahnc ut rnrh other, end affectine to lat/;:h.

Prat. Ua« hn, ha ! rcry coiui(4) ! lU,i , ha !

BttL A frolic. Mr Prattle, a (imlie! I tln^
how ever, you liud better not lake any notice mf
it abroad.

Frnf . Me ! I sbfill never hreaih ti, tivirlam : t
am cUn^ as oak — an ahuilnut tVre-inauin for
■terrrrv — Rut, madam, (RitiW.] I must Ind you
ifocid nHirninn — I hiive Mnruml patients to tint
before iliniHir. — Mrs Tremor, 1 kitu**, will t<c
dyiiis with ttie rapuiirs till the fee* me; and I
nm U> me<'t l)r \'alerimi«c l«>rd lUctic't in le^
than liwir nn Itour.

P.tiiiv. R)ii^ ibc hell, my dear — Mr Prattlf.

your wrriuiL

Prat. Ljwiir*, your vprv liuinble wnanf. — I
»hiill »ei;d you a cuidial iniKtnre, mntlain, to !'■-
taken in any pnrticular l»ininr«s '>r Inwiins ai'
spiritti : and sttme dmu<^))t« for mominfc atiil
evcniiiff. Have a tiirc ui ciiicliini! crrfd. be am.
liou« in your diet, niiil I mnke nii tioubr (Mit lu »
tew days we slinll Im perfetrtly rwi>»tTed.- — -
l.a(|ir», your Mmaiic Your lunitt ultedirot, rerr
Iniinhle scrtant, f£nf.

f I'he tuiiits lit $'ar aomt time uJtnl.

Bett. [jtjler a pj<f «r] .Swcr Entity 1

KmUy, SKlvr Ilell !

IU-/i.' \\ hat d'ye tin ok of culoitel Tarnper'tiOK,

StbUT f

Emilif. Wliv, I mil !ii prOTiikrH, and so nUah'
ed ; M> angn, tunl ko ilirrtinl ; timt I dnu^
know tvhetticr I tlyiuttl bc in or oat of hunxw',
at thi» discovrry,

Peif, \(i • U it pcwKU ynn can hare mlink
spirit? This taitling upoihecory will tell ihiS'linF

ktory at rvm limnic he eoct inui it will bi

towu-talk-"lV a lover of mine tiad attvniptfd ta
put iinrh nil impudinit dernt upon mc« I w<i«U
never »ee his ince a^n.

Kmily. If you had n lorertlmt yon liked, BA
vou would not he quite to tiolcnt.

H*fl. Indrril hnt 1 shiiiild. What! K)
hen? with n C .interhurv tale of a lex amf an f^
ntid hrnrcn knows n hat, mere I r to trr the <»
rrnt «[' hit power over yi*u 1 — Tn sratilv httiav*
dilute vanity, in case yuu slixuld rrtnin —
aiternou for liiui ; or to reproKh vou fur tgur
»i'nkiirA« nnd inlidrlity, if vou coiiffl niK r
cile youPV-'lf In him nn tlmt sii|)|ni»U m !

Kmitif, It it ttlMMiiinnhlv prot'ikiiift, I
ami vet, ndl. it is iKit a quarter of an hiwrif^
ixit i would hiivc parted nilb half nv luraijt
lo httve uHulc it certain that there «*m ii md (ft
the ftory.

Pell. Well, I tterer knew one of tbete MM tf
rxtraiirdioary sciise. us they are called, that <
nnt, in Muneinstnnres, a greater foul thaottwiefl
of uuinkind.

Emify. At^er all, BelL, 1 must coitfcu that A»
i^iratacem Ims conrtncvd ne of the taAnadt*^
luy temper. ITiis suppused accjdoK bcpN *
mnkc Mnutgc work with me:.

BfU, I saw thai plaitt eaoniftu t oUyou

what toirr pure ami andnterc»tc^ mrboii. ^ttK,

3

jStwIiT]

BRtTIJ

mrnKT

im

Would come to, long ano. — Yet this i!t so flagrant
an aflrtint, I would miiKO him smtirt for it Mine
waj or other ; 1 would not marry bim these
Kveo Tears.

Smil^. That, perhaps, might b« punishing my-

hrtt We molt pInKiic hiro, arii) hcanily too.
Oil, Tor a bri|^t thuu^ht nowj some chtuniiiig iii-
tVmtion to tomirnt him !

Kmify. 0I^ »s 10 Lhal inottcr. I ilMtitd be jjlad
to have tome comical revenge on him nitlj all my
heart

Enlff Sercant.

Ser. Captain Johnson, ntodam.

£ii«ify. Dcviru him to walk up. [Eji'f Ser.^
f am lii to see any company now, — ~'l"hia tii*-
cnvery will do mc more good, [ beliere, than all
Mr Prattlc'» cordial mixtures, m lu: culia them.

Bttl. Oh, V'»u're in channing spiritt, siMcr —
Bnt cuplaiu /uhaaun ! you abound in (he miUtnry,
C»ptaiit9, colonels, and nioior^, by ivholr^ale :
Who !•< copluiii Juliiiwuj, pray ?

Emiitt> Only the name tlint Mniiumoiiicllc
Fluriviii, ilie Oellcisic lady you »iw ilna imirning,
^ocs bv.

Bfd. Oh, M«ier, the luckiest ihoujilit iu the
%mr)d— fucfi an use lo make of" this Indy.

JSMi/y. Whnt d'ye mean >

BctL Captnin Johnson sluil) be colonel Tam-
per's rival, ustLr !

J£m/y. llu»h ! here she is.

Enter MAT>BHDiSELt.t Florivau

Give mc leave, madam, to introduce you to
roy Mster.

BeiL I hare beard your scory, madam, and
fake part in ymir ini^ortunes.

Tlo. I am infinitely obK|[ed both to you, tmd
to tlmt tady, madum.

£milif. Uh ! mudnm, I hnrp been extremely
ill iiitce you waft here this morning, ami tcrriHtfl
•knnst bcynnd iinucio>itiiNi.

Fio. 1 am very M>rry to hear it ; 'may I ask
what has alarmed ynn }

Emily. It i» w ndicutoos, I scarce Lmm how
10 tell yva.

iUli. TIten T will. You mast know, madam,
that my mt«r wa^ cntcujrcil to im otficrr, who
«rat nut nri a Inic tiiilitary Riprdition. lie \s
j«tr .1. but is ron»c Imme with the Jtran-

ce*"' '<=(> rver Rllrd dtp brain nf n lover.

He *"•'•>■ 1' '"in hi» bcud In try my ii^ter's faith,
pretending to be inuinicd nrtd wounded, and
actually visited Iter ihts morning in a couo-
<lnncttr> ^^- luvc jutt now detected
ipoMCiun, and want your ussistanoc to be
lly rrvrnijL-d on him.
JVp. I ninnot brint; mywlf to be ou advocate
tbc lady'» cruf'lty — But you may both eom-
itv tluu|.

Emiiy. There is nr> eroclty in the ease ; I fc af i
I am gone Coo far for tlmt. As you arc, in ap-J
pcanince, such a Groart youn^ gentleman, inyj
sister luis waepslily propo^ to make you ilia f
tnbti-untout c^ escttiiiff colonel Tamper's jcatousv,
by your personating tnc character of a supposed j
rival. \va» not that your device, sister?

Bell. It was; and if this iaily will come tnio <
iu and yon play ynur pnrt well, we'll tease th*
wise colonel, niid make him «ck of his nigucriei,'
I u-nrrant you.

fio. I have been a mnd fiirl in my time, I con* .
fe^s wid remember »»(ien I should have jjtincd <
in such n frolic with plea4ure. At preMut,! fear ;
t am scnrce mistrcse enouf^h of my temper i4
maintain rot character with any toJeraWp hn^
mour. However, I witt tumoion up all my s|ik <
n(», aud do my Lest lu oblige yuu.

hill. t)h, yon will have but little Irt do. Th* '
business will be chiefly nn your bnmh, Emily— ^
You must lie most iut"»lcrahW provoking. If yott ■
ilo hut irritate him •iuffiriently, we shall tmv£
slinnuinK spitrt with him

F.mUif. Never fear me. Bell ; Mr PrattlcV in-
telligence bnsi;iTen mespiiiis equal tu nnv ihin;^
Xow I know it is hut o trick, 1 shall ^mrce bo
able lo see him liminng about without lutighiu|p.

Enter Sfrvit%U

Sir. Cnlonel Tamper, mndam.

F.wtltf. ^ho-^ \i\m jn, [Exit &>T«n/-] Now, «
Indies !

hctL Nnvr, sister! Work him heartily; cot
hiiii to tlie Inuc, I charge you. If you shew bhA
the It-ust uKTcy, you are no wumau.

£N/cr CoLortri Taupcb.

Tarn. This it is to hare new servants ! not at
home, indeed ! A park of hlucklieads, to think
of dt-nviii^ my Rniily to uie. I knew the poor
dt-ar w)ul was a little out of order indeed — hut —
[^Rrirt^ I'lorivaI-.] I l>rs pardon, nmdam ! I did '
not know vou had Cimi|»anT.

Bell, oh, this gentleman is a particular friefld
of mv sister's — he's let in at anv time. ,

Turn. Hnml [Dimrderrd.

Koiihf. I did not expect to see you return i«
soon, sir !

Tarn. No — I believe I am come somewhat utH
eipectedlv indeed, mailmn !

Emily- If your return had not been so ex- j
iremely precipitate, «r, I should liave sent nm ■;' ,
me»saice on purpose to preivnt your gtvu»g youpl ^
»cirthal trouble. '

Tiifft. Madam ! a me$ui|re ! fur wimt mtaon f

Emtty. Because 1 am uthcrv« ise eni^aprd.

[Wtlh tndifrrtncf,.

Tam. Engaged ! I don't apprclicnd ^ou, uukj
dum.

Emi^. No ? Toa are extrenwly dull, then ^^

9K

346

BRITISH DRAMA.

[CoLMAir.

dua't you see I lutvc cumuaiiy? VViu you at tlie
I opera lost iiiglii, aipuui Jolmsun *

[Cwiuettin^ aUh pLOltlVAL.

Tom. I am tlinndcninick ! Mndau ! Mbt

Kiiiil/ !— Mailniii !

ftmily. Sir ! — Colonel TAntper I — Sir !

I'tpn, I *9yy in^ain I

Kttaljf. Mr !

TaH\. 'Stltaih, I have not po»er \n speak to
lier ! — Thi» siranj^c and sudden alteraUuu ia your
Lohaviour, inBdam

Emilj/. .Altcrniion ! uune tit all, sir : tlie cbani;e
\i fin ycur w<U.-, niil niiiir. IM be jud);(d h\ tliib
l^ctitleiDaii. Captfiin Jobn5«ii, hcrcS h miniature
€>{ the coluncl. wluch he tat fur ju^ heforc he
went iibrottd — <luiie hy a i^uod haixl, aiid reckuiv-
ed a flrikiiin liLt-ncs*. Did you ever ite a poor
crcftluro ««■> altered ? [Giriw^e: o brucdrt.

Flo. Why, really, TnndROi^ llicre is, 1 niiiBt
own, a very visible ditTcrenci- at present, llml
bladt ribband [hxrktni; bi/ lurnt un the pifturr
anif Colon Li, Taupi'i:.] m.ikes a total eclipse
of ll»e lirilitaiiry of tlii>t i iglil eye— anil then, tlie
irre^idar motion of ll>e leg girca kuch a twiat to
tiie rest of tlie body, that"

Tom. Sir ! But it itt to you I »ddri-»s myself

at prcftcnLf muiaui. I was once food and t'ool-
ish etiough lo imnKinr thntynn bnd n heart truly
fCencrons and srntjlilc ; oral Batit^rcd myuflf ctiDt
Jt wai above being iliakon by nbsonoe, or af-
fecfed by cvcots. liuw have 1 been deceived !
1 (iml tliat

Emittf. Pardon rnc, sir ; I never deceived you :
na)', you see that I ttiirflained the tbou^lit of de-
cvivini; you even for n day. Out of respect tu
our hitc mutual atlnchmcnt, I am resolved to
deal openly with you. In u won), tlien, every
thJni{ between us must now be at an end.

7«CT. L'-onfus'ion ! Every tliin" iit nu end ! and
can yiin, can you, Emily, have tlic cuunigc to tell
ine soF

Emily. Why not ? Come, come, colonel Tam-
per, vauity is your bliud ade.

Tarn. Zounds, madam !

Emiiif. Dua't be in a passion. Do but rnn-ii-
der U]« nuirter aiitoly; and thuu(;h it may rather
be dt«plca!>inci ycC when you have duly neighed
all circumstances, I'm sure you must do me the
justice to acknowledge myhinccrity.

Titm. \ sKnIl run mud — Is it fHiiisible, Bmily?
— Sinceritv do you call this?— DisMmulation —
damnrd (irhsiiuuiatiua .'

Emi(v- Have piuiuice, sir ! The lots of your
whole fortune would have been trifling toiric;
but h'lw csn I rocuurilf myself tu this mnn^ling
of your ^uro? I^t me turn tlic tables on yuu
for B moment — -SoppoM; now, colonel, that I had
been m unfortunate as to huve Imt a teg and nn
«ye, sliuuld yon, d'ye think, have rotaiucd your
•ft^ctioQ inviolable for mci

Taui. I'nlse, false woman ! Have a care, Emi-
jy! have a carcv 1 sa/, or youll dcs;ro7 jour

fame and liappiness for ever. Consider what
v<K] areduiog, ere you make a final rr^solutvm —
Vuii'll repent your iocoastaocy, I tell you before-
hand — upon my soul, you wUl — Vou'JI have more
reaxin to lepcut it, tuaa yoo can possibly itva*

ginc;

Emily. Why will you oblig:e me tww lo say
»li<ickiiii; tliin)fs to you f It goes ngaiiist me to
toll yuu ]jo ; but I can't even see ^na now m ithoot
hornir; nay, was I ocn, frutn a vuiu point nf
h'juuur, lu adhere to my enip^;ettK:nts with you,
I could never conquer my dl^sL It would be
a nio^t udiiaiuial cfriinection. WuuJd out it,
captain Johnson f

Tam. Hell ! 'Sdenth! ConfuMon ! How stea-
dily biie persists in her perfidy ! Madam ! Miv-
dam ! — I >!ih1I clioak with rt^c — But one word,
and I «m eouc lor ever— for ever, for ever,
iiiudum !

Emitx/. Whntwuutd you say, sir?

Turn. Tell me then — and tell me truly : Hart
not, you received the addresses of that gentle-
man ?

EntUt/. lie has honoured rac with them, I oti-
feyt, sir ; and e%'ery drcunutance is mi much la
hi*> fiu'our, that I could hnvc nu manner of ob-
jection to him, but my unfortunate eiiftapCfsenH
to you — Bui since yonr ill fortune has iitiiDciblir
diron'ed us fmin n-ach dther, I thii^ I nm ai Ih
berty to listen to him.

Tom. Matchless confidence !— Migbiv well
madam ! It i% nottlien the roiiifortunes tfiatha*'
befallen me, but the charms you Imve fouatl w
that geulleman, which hare altered your mdiaft-
tion.

Flo. Well, sir ! and what tlien. sir ? Tbe
[ presume, is not included, tike mo old mai
house, in the rent-roll of your ealafc, ur the'
veutory of your ji^oods autJ cbutiels/ Her laaL
i hope, is still her own property, and she w*f
bestow it on you or me, or any body else, )ial
as she pl<-Rses.

Tatti. You we a villain. »ir ! — Whtidraw !

}ifll. Oh Heavens' here will be murdcf—
Don't stir, I heg yon, sir I

Fh. (.), never fear me, madam; I am Botnt^
n {Mjjlroon as to contend with that ^ntlcmafi-'
Do vou think I would set my ttrvngtb aodl^
against a poor blind man, and a cripple *

Tarn. Follow tae, bir ! I'll soon teach mm*
use ynur own legs,

Fio. Oil, tlie stiirdy begpir ! stir yoursusp
ami brg'ine ; here's nothing for you, fcUo* !

Turn. Villaiu!

Fh. Poor man !

Tarn. Scoundrt'l !

Fio. Pritliee, man, don't expoee yonndf.

Towi. Puppy!

Fio. Poor wretch !

Emily. What, quarrel before ladies! 0^ ^
Abame, coloool !

Tarn. This is beyotKi all suOcniKe. I <

ncoi

Cot MAN.]

BRITISH DKAMA/

m

•onUm no looger — Know, then, innilam. \To
Emilv.1 to jrour utter confuMoOt I uiu nut tlmt
iuiin^lt.-ii thing which you iuiag;tiie ine — You inajr
see, iiuulnni—

[Hemming hi$ natural munncr.

BetL MIb, ht, lia!

rio. 3

[jMttehin^ vietmtly.
'' Btitljf. A wQuderfiil ciii« f>t Intnenc^s and
fcTiixincH! Your cft<(e is inilv ciirio^ts Mr; mid
mtteilcd by three crrtlihlc witiir*w» — NVill vou.
give U4 Icnve in pnnt it in the jiulihc |ni|<crs^
Tam. Mtulnni, iUH<inm !
Slo. I think tho bxnry would make a figure in
cbe Philnsophical Tntn»actiuiis.
Tots. Sir :

Utr/L A prclty Iq^, iud(«d ! Will van dmirc a
a mlnuft witJi rue, iJuloucW

Emtv. your wounds are qoc oiortRl, } hope,
colon«lf

Tom. No, niKdnm I my person, I iltank Hca-
vcn, is stJII untiuri. I have uiy Ic^k, bmh lcg%
madum; itnd I will use them lo (raii'tp<trt m,o »»
fur as po«?tibIc from m> Inlu n tTomiiii — I hair
my fy^ too ; my eyes niodnm ; but they shnti
never look on you Titian, but as the most faith-
IcMand un>;mtcfiil of your m^x !

Mmiiy. If 1 am ui>t Aurprised hnw ]|f- could
ikct it *o v/tll ! Vmy, lot u* sec vou d^ it a^^ua,
culonel — How was it, <?li? [ilimtrking.] Iiip-hop,
hip-hop^ likp prince \'uWiua, I think.

Tarn. 1 IXKIK that method, inadiuii, Co try your
tmth^ oofutancy, and alleution. I haiu fiinnd
jrou void of all lliofte quHlilii'ii, aiul 1 ^hull Imve
rttaMHi to rejoice at llie cOcct of my CK^-iiuH.nt
M loof u I live.

JEau/y. If you meant to separate younelf
from me. And m migliiv proof you have f^ivcn of
jour nwnVfiection, truly"! fnsieud of ret uniirij^ af-
ter an aniioui ab*fi»co, with joy, into loy pre-
sence, to come home with a low and mciin »u*-
mciom witt) ^ narrtpw jeatuusy of mind, when the
lirmnkncM and generosity of my bi'tiaviuur ou^ht
to have en|ip^;cd yuu to repose llic mu»t uidimi-
led oonBdencc tn me.

Tarn. The event, madam, has but well war-
rsnted my eYperiment.

Etti/jf. And ihalljusti^ it, sir, (till more: fnr
here, l«?forc your face, I pve my hand to thi^
pHitienuui ; ^oieuinly declnriiig, iliat it &hall ne-
ver l>e m yuur power to di&Hjlve the ironnection
formed between us.

Tarn. A* to you, madam, your infidotity So your
paojuhment. But that gentlccnou ^holl hear Irom

J&. I defy you, lirl

Emily. NotlitDg fartltcr remains between u& ;

■«e roe, ur I

_ Tttm. I am gone, mwlam * and so liclp ine,
B^CBvcn, tievcr, nerer to return—
■' [Going.

■-/»
^J^

£n/rr1hfAiOM Delfobd.

Belf. How ! goinp in a iwttion^ IIol(*, T«tn-
per — All ill confusion ! 1 tJtought »o— and came
in set matters tn right« ngnm.

Fla. VVhat do Isee! Major Bclford ! Major
Bclford! oil! [Feinfi.

Bflf. Ha, my nnme, and fninling ? ^\ not cat*
this menu ? [ if una and taket hrr in tit nmu.] —
By Hcnvcns a woman ! May 1 Inpe thut- ■—
Hold, she re-rvrr» — ft is, it is she ! ir^y door
riiirivfti herself! Hud we shall still he hsppr.

Tarn. Belford'a Belteisle lady, as 1 live? M^
rival a noinnn ! [ bogin to foel myself very ridn
culou9.

Brff. What wonder, my love, has brought
yuu hiiher, and in thin hnltii *

Fto. Oh, sir, I have a lone fitnry to relate. At
pre^nt |pt it suffice to tay, tlmt that lady's bri>
llipr has In-eii tlic noblest of friend» to me; nnd
Abe licr^clf, thift moniin;:. grnerously vouchanfcd
to lake mc under her protiction.

Bflf. I nni )H>und to them for ever. At my
return I foutui letters from your father, who,
supposiHt; you wnn in Kn^lnml. with mr, wrote
to acquaint mc that he uas iiicoriMilable for
your l<i»«, and that he wotihl cmisciil lo our uni-
on if [ would hut awiuro him that you was safe
and well. Tlic next post ahull acquaint him of
our gtKHl fortune. Well, Tamper, am i»ot I a
luckv fellow f

Tain. Oh, Bel ford 1 I am the raosc miwntbl*
dog ill the world !

Belf. WliRl ! you llav^ dmpprd your mntk, I
see — you're on votir own Ices Dffain ; t met PrattJft
in the Mrect — I ii' stnpt \m charioi lo speak lo roe
about yuu, and I found that he had blown you
up, nnd discovered to ihc Indies thnt you was
returned, qnjte unhurt, from the Havannnh.

'Jam. I)id that cuirorob l>rtniv mc ? That BC-
couiila for all Emily's bthavmiir— <>h, mujor, I
am ruined pnM redemption ! I hnre behaved
most vitniva|£aiitlv, liolh to your lady and Emily;
I oluill never be able to look tlium iji the face ft-
gaiu.

Belf. Ay. ny, I foresaw this. Did not I tell
vou iluu you would enpow yourwif confouiided-
\si However, I'll be an advocaic for you — my
^orival shall be an advocate for you; and [
inakc no doubt but you ^i'l be taken into lavuor
again.

Emilu. Does he deservo it, major ^

Belf. Why, roadnm, I can't tmy much for him,
or myself cither, faith — We must rt?ly entirely
on TOur goodness.

i'lo. He's a true penitent, 1 sec, madam ; nnd
rU nniwcr for it, he loves you to cxocsi — Nay,
look on him.

Emittf. Was it well done, colonel, tucberisli a
mean distrust of mc.' to trilk- with ihc imrtiality
I had shown to you ; uid to eudcavour to givw

348

BRITISH DRAMA.

[COLSUN.

me pain, merely to secure a poor trimpph over
my weakness to younelf ?

Tam. I am ashamed to answer joa.

BelL Ashamed ! and so yoa well may, in-
deed.

Tam. I see my absardicy — all I wfsh is to be
lau^ied at, and foripven.

Be^. A veiy reasonahle request Come, ma-
dam, pi^ the poor fellow, and admit faim to
joor (^nd graces again.

flo. Let-US prenil on you, dear madam.

Emify. WeU— now I see he is most heartily
mortified, I am half inclined to (sty him.

Tam, Generous Emily !

BelL Go, yon provoking wretch ! 'ds mure
than yon deserve: [7b Tah.

Tm. It dudl be the future stndy of my life to

deserve this pardon. fXiisja^ her Aaail.] Bd-
ford, I give you joy— Madam [To Florivai-] —
I have behaved so ill to you, I scarce know liov
to give you joy as I ought.

Belf. Come, come, no more of this at present.
Now we have on all sides ratified the (welimina-
ries, let us settle the definitive treaty as sdob as
we can— We have been two Iiicky fdlows.
Tamper— I have been fortonate in finding my
mistressj and you as fortunate in not kaiDg
your*.

Tam. So we hare, Belfbrd ; ana I wish every
brave officer in hia Miues^s service had •ecorca
to himself sucti pomfortable wintcr^]uarten is
we bav^ aftw a glorious campaign.

LOVE IN A VILLAGE.

■T

BICKERSTAFF.

DRAMATIS PEBSON*:

MEN.

Sift WitUUI M&AOOWS.

VoDSO Mbadows, Au son.
Justice WooDCock.yalAfr foLuciKDl.
Uawtboiix, a couittnf iquire.
ECSTACE, attH<htd to Lt'C|>pA.
ItODOZ, m irumpkiit.

WOMEN.
RuesETTA, attached to Yovtic Mkadows,
Lt'ciNDAj allachedto Eustaci^
Deborah WoaiH-ack^ tuter to Justicb Wqoik

COCK.

Marcert, teduced by IIoooE.

Scene — « viUage in England.

ACT. L

3CENX r. — A garden vith ttaturtf fountaiuty
and Jkacer-piHu Several arbouri appear in
tke tide Kent*.

RoucTTA oiM/Lt-ciNDA are discovered at Korkf
tcBted upon tiLo gardcn-chuin.

Am.

Km. nopF ! thoD nur«e of yoang dvs'irc,
Fainf prumiicr of joy,
Paiotcd vBpoiir, |(low.worm fire,
Tenip'nite &w«et, that ne'er can ctoj:

Zhc Hope ! tboa faroe-st of delight.
Softest soother uf the miiid,

Baliuy cofdial, t)ro:>pcct bright,
Suivat frivcKi ttie wrticiicd fiud ;

Both. Kind deceiTpr, flatter sHD,

l)t»l nut plriisures uiipwuetc,
With thy drcami my ruii:y fdl.
And m wubea moke me bletL

f^c Heighol — RuucttA^
Hm. Weil, r.hild, what do you sayF
Luc. Tis a dei-ili<th thiti|2 to lire ia a rtllnee ■
huiidred miirt from 'the capitnl, witJj n prtposicr-
uus gouTy fiuhcr, and n supcruinLtBted mudea
aunt. — I am heartily Mck nt niy «(iintion.

Hfu. And widi reasnti — But 'u« in a |p%At
meuurc your own fault -. here is this Mr Eostooe,
a man of character and ''iirtlly; he likes yoa,
you like him, yuti know oik •iiuihcr*H mind^ nnd
yet yoa will not resoUc tu make youndf happy
with him.

950

BRITISH DRAMA.

[BlCKERSTAtT.

ATB.-

Whrner ran yvu inherit

So slari^h n npiril f
f oiifin'd Uiua, uiiil dtaiu'rl to b log !

Now fondled, ddw chid,

Permitted, forbid ;
Tis Iciuling Uw life of a dug.

For shantc, you a lo«r !

More firmncM discKjTCf ;
TrUc cuuragc, nor ticrc longer mope ;

Kcaist mid be free,

Kun riot, like me,
And, to perfect tjic |NCtiirc, elope.

Imc. And is fhisj^our advice?

Rot. Positively.

Lite. Here's my hnnd ; positively I'll follow iu
1 hiiic nirendy 9«nt w my gentleman, who is now
in the counlry, to let Inin know lie mur come
hither this dnv ; we will mnLe um: oI' the oppor-
tunity 10 settle all prcliminsries — Aitd then —
But take notice, nhencrer *«« dcctunp, you murch
oflT along with us.

Rot. Oh ! mqdanif your sprront ; I have no
inclination to be left behind, 1 nsMire ynn — Bot
ytm say jou got nn^uainlrd witli ilit:i sipBA,
while you were with ¥oar mother durini^ her Inst
illness at Bath, so iliat yuur father lias never
Ken him i

Luc. Nerer in his life, my dear- and, J am
coitlkkot, he cniertnins not ihe lca«t ntspicion
of my having any Mich cnnncctiun : my aunt, in*
<leed, has her doubts and tiurwiscs ; hut, be^ides^
•hat ray father «i|l not allow any one to be wiser
tlinn hnnM'lf, it '\s an PHiahli!,hed maxim between
llic$e affuctionatc relation!), nerer tu agree in any
thin;.

Ho$. Kicept beiitg absurd; yon moat allow
lliey nyiiipalhire perfectly in that — Bui, now we
ore on the Mibject, 1 dL-»irc to know, what I am
lo do with tlu:> wicked old ju-Uicc of peace, this
tjbidinitus fHthur uf yours? He fultowy me about
the house like a tnmc gpaL

J.W. Nay, I'll assure ynu he bath bf-cn a wag
in Ilia time — you mniit have n rare of voorself.

}{m. Wretched me ! to fall intu sucli hands,
who have been Just forceii to rua away from my

jnrents to avoid an odious marriaue- You

amile at that now; and I know you lliink me
«faiiuueal, as you have often told me: but you
must escuK my being a little over-delicate in
this particular.

AIK.

My hcnrtS my own, my will is fre«,

Aad M> 5]iall be my voice ;
No mortal man shall wed with tne,

I'ill 6rst be'ti niaile my choice.
I^ parent's nde. cry nature's laws;

And children still obey;

And is there, then, no saving clause.
Against tyraniuc sway i

Imc. Well, but mjf dear mad ^irl

itflt. Lucioda, don\ talk to me — Wai tout
father to Ko to London ; meet there by accKteol
with an nhl fellow an wrong-hearted as hinuelf;
at>d in a fit of absurd fnenathip, a^r<-c to marry
you to that old fellow's son, whuin you had never
seen, without coD5u[tit)g your inclinatiou>t or «l-
lowiiip you a ncgiuire-,in caM;hc bliouldnotproie
agreeable— —

Lttt. Why, I should think it a little hard, I
coiifcM — yet, when I sec yoa in the cfavactrr
of a chaaibcmuiid —

Rot. It is the only character^ my daw, m
which I could Itope to lie OMicealed ; and, I caa
tell yon, I was reduced to the la«t eittn>itatv,
when, in consequence of our old buardiitg-scboul
frtend-ihip, 1 applied to you to recuivc me in tku
capacity : fur we expected tlic partica the vvy
next week.

Lhc. Diit had not you a innsage fraa vnt
intended spouse, lo let jou know be wttaaautUa
inclined to sucli ill'CODceitcd nuptials m yon
were?

Ret, More than m ; he wrote to advice ine,
by all nii-aiisi, to contrive Mine tneibnd of break-
ing ihcm oS, for be had rather return to his d«r
studies at Oxford ; and, after that, what bofxa
could 1 have of beuig happy with hiiu ?

Imc. 'I'hen you are not at nil uaeaay at iW
§(mni^ rout ynu noo^t have occa^ned at hone?
I w-trrant, during (his month you have bero a^
sent —

Rot. Oh ! don't mention it, my deer I I hiTf
had so many admirers, sinr« 1 commcnoed Al»-
gail, that I am quite cluinncd witli my staatiaa
— But hold, who stalks yonder iu the yanj^ tiM
the dogs are so glad to see f

Imc. Daddy Hawdun-n, as I live I lie »
come to nuy my futlicr a visit i and nerer laore
lockily^ tor be always furcea hiio abroad. Bf
(he way, wlmt will yoa do with yooraelf, wide I
step into the house to sec after mj entity acv
sciiger, Ilnd^c?

Rti*. No matter'; III Mt down in that ubaai^
and listen to the sinj^ing uf ttic birds : yoa Ina*
I am fond of m'clancholy amuscmeiiia,

Luc, So it tteeins, indeed : sure, RosKtt*.
none uf your admirer* bad power to loud) yuu
heart; you arc- not in love I hope }

Hm. In love ! thatN pleaHint. Wlio do yon
euppoM.' I sluiuld be tu fore with, pray?

Luc. Why, let roc see M'lmt do voa thitk

oflliomas, our gardener? There lur u, at il*
other eiKl of the walk — He's a pretty ytajogBHa,
and ibe scrvaols say, he's alwnym writinf vtfltf
on vou.

ftoi. Indeed, Lucioda, you are v«t siDf.
Luc. Indeed, Hossetto, that bluah inako jm
look very handsome.

Ros. Dlu^i ! I Atn sure I doa't blutb.

Imc. Uo, Ita, tin !

Rm. Pthan. Lucindo, bow can jou be w ndi*
culouft ?

Jmc. Well, don't be an^ry, and I tiRTn <to]ie

Butsuc^K ;ou did like him* bow could juu

belp ^ouncir^

AIR.

Wb(>n once I»vc*s siibilc poison ^n*

A passHgc to tbc fciuulc brcAst^
Ijkn li^htnin^ rusiiiiig thrmi^li tbc veins,

Koch ivivh, nnd ('v<Tjr tliought's pHSM-at:
To lical ihc \iaa^i our minds fudure*

Ileaaon in vftin its sktit applies ;
Nought cun ulfinl ihe heart a cure,

But what is plouinj} to tbe eyc&. [Ejcual,

SCENE II.

Enter YWvc Meadows.

Tomng ittH. Let nie see — on ihe fifteemS of
Jane, nt Itair an boor pa»t five m ihu innrnin^,

(TokiMg ital a pockcl-iMok.l I left my lather's
louse, uuViKiwn lo niiv one, IiRving miide t'rco
ft with a a>at and jacket of tiur ^rdcncr'), which
V fitted ine, hy tvctr of a flii^uiM:: so ^av9 iiijr \—t>
kct-book; dikJ L'fitincc directini; mc to this til-
lage, ou tlu? iwcniicth of the same month 2 pro-
cunidiU n'i:oniiiicniblioii tu the WQisttupful Jm^
boe Woodcock, to be the supvrintendmit of Ins
puiQptmt and rahbupes, becutise I would tct mv
father sec, I diow to run anv leoKilis ratlier
than etibinit to what liis obslinacv nuuJd have
forced mc, a marriage ognin^l my inclination,
with a woman 1 never ww. [PuIm up the bookt
and takes up a tcateriiif:-piMJ\ llvrc 1 liave been
three wrekts and in tlial time I am as much oiler*
rd, a* if I bad chnn};ed my nature with my bnblt.
*5death. Id fall in love witli » chiimtK.Tninid !
Am) jreti if I cnuld forgot thai I om ilic sou and
beir of lir William Mcudowd — But that't impo^
ttUe.

AIR.

O ! had I been bv fate decreed

Some huNihlc cutCoge twain ;
If) fair Hoftctta'n Mtht lu feed

My sbe>ep upm tlic plain;
What bliM hou I been bant lo taste,

Wbicll now I i)c'er must know!
Ye envious pftwcrs ! why have ye placed

My fair one's lot to law ?

Ha ! vrho was it 1 had a glimpse of as I past
by thai arbour ! \Va<« it imt «bc sat reading
thrrc ! ibe treinhling of mv heart tclU mc my
eyca were ooc mi»takca— Here alic cuinv.

Rot. liidiida was certainly in ihe right of it,
and yet I blush to own my vreakncss even to my-
%r.l( — MiirrVt liaiig the fellow for nut being m
gentleman !

Young Mea. I am determined I won't speak
to her [fiirTMD^' to o rou-tree-, and plucking the
yfoiPtri.]. Now, or never ■» ibc tune tu conijHcr
myself .* besides^ 1 have tkome reason to believe
die girl has oo nvcrtUon to mv : and, as I wisli
not tu do her an injury, il would be cruel to fdl
tier head with notions of what can never happen.
[Hums a /unr.] Fthnw t rot these roses, now
thev prick one's fiii^rK!

Hut. He takes no notice of tnc ; but so mur^
llic better ; VH bo as ioditTerent as he is. I am
sure tlte p'lor lad likes nie; and if I was tu giva
him any tncourascmeni, I suppose the next thing
he talked uf would lie buying a ring, and being
n^eri in rhnrch — Oh, dear pride ! I Uiank you
for thot thought.

Younif Hr«. Ftnh, going without a word, a
look !— i Lan't bear that — Mrs Rr>8sctta, I am
itntlicring n few roses licre, if you pLease lo tate
them in with you.

Hiu. Tlinnk you, Mr Tboraas, but all my laily's
dower pots lire fidl.

Yoiung J/ro. VVIll tou accept of them fi>r
yowr>eIf, then? [t'atc/ung kulti of hcr.'^ What's
tlie matter f you look as if you were angry wiiji
me.

Aos. Pniy, let go my hand.

Young Mixt. Nay prithee, why is this? yoa
shan't go'; I have Mtinetbin; to say to you.

Ros. Well, but I roust go, I will go; I dfsif«,|
Mr I1iuini»—

ATR.

Ocnllc youth, ah, tell me whr

.Still you furce me tliut to fly r

Cease, oh ! cease, to persevere ;

Speak not what I must not, licar; (

To my heart iu case resiore ;

Go, and never see mc more. *[£>if.

Young Mfa. Thii girl is a riddle !— That she
love^i mc, I think there i^ no mom tu doubt ; slun^l
takes a thousand np[Kirt unities to let me see itt
and yet, when I speak to her, she will hardly,
give nic an answer ; and, if I attempt the smat-
feit familiarity, \s «one in an instant — I feel my.
passion fur her grow every day more and mora
violent — Well, would I marry her ? — would X
make a mistressof her if I could? — ^Two tbing%^|
called prudence and honour, forbid either. Wlial:,1
am I pursuiii£, then? A shadow. Sure my evil']
genius laid this snare in rny way. Howcvei^^l
there is one comfort, it is in my power to fly
from it ; if so. why du I hesitated I am diitnc-
ted, uoabte tu deUruiLne may tbio^.

I

sst

BRITISH DRAMA.

[BiCKBBSTAFP.

AIR.

Still in Ih>p« to get the hcHcr

Of mv stubborn ftntne I rry;
Swear this inuiitvnt in fotrct bcr*

And the ntit my oitth dtniy.
Now, prcfwircd wirh scorn to treat her,

Evcrjr chnnn in tliou^lii I bmrv.
Boast my freedom — fly lo niet-l her,

And confMs tnvKlf her shvc. [Exit.

SCENE in.— jf kati iH Jtiricc Woodcock's

ftvute.

Mlnter Hawthobm, irjf* a JhttHnf^piece in hit
handt, and u net trith btrdt at hit girdle : and,
iffieriMrdtt Jisricc WooDCocn.

Aia

There was « ioll; miller once,

Lived on tV rircr Dec;
Be worked aud suoc:, fi^ni mom till ub^ht;

No lark rarire blythc ihnn he.
And this llu! burtliL-n uf his suuj^

For CTcr ii»ed to be

I care fur nobodv, no, not I,

If no one cares for me.

Ilotisc, here, house ! what, nil gaddinc. nil abrttad !
house, I any, hilli-ho, ho I

J. 11 vW. llcrtS u uoiie, here's n mclict ! Wil-
liam, Robert. Iludt^e ! tvhr doc^i not Miuicbod^-
answer? Odd^ my life, 1 believe the fellows linve
lost their hcanni; ! [Kitering.] Oli, master tluw-
tborn ! I guessed il was ttnup »uch innd-cap —
Are you there?

Hmw Am T here? Yn: and, if ynu had lieen
•rhpre I was three huurs iign, yon vtnuld iind the
food cfTcctb of it by this time: bnt yon huvc put
the lazy, unwliole«omo, London fn*hion, ol lyini: a
bed in a morning, and tlieru's j;<tut fur you —
Why, sir, I hnrc nut bccu in bed live minutes
* «f»r tuit-rise these thirty vears, nm gencrnlly vp
before it; and 1 iKver took a dose of pliyuc luit
once in my life, and that wiis in compliinciit to
B coiiun of ntine, an apothecary, that hud ju»t
I '•et up bunneas.

/. Wvod. Well, but. master Hatrthorn, let mn
tell you, you knoM nothing of the matter ; for. I
[ aay, sleep is neceuary for a man ; ay, and HI
mmninin i::

Hate. What ! when I maintain the comrary t
I — Ijook yun, neif;hhour Woodt'ocfc, yon lire a
i rich man, a man of wiir*liip, a justice of jieact'.
\ lOid nil diat ; bur Icnrn to know the respect that
I it due to the sound from the infirm; and allow
Line that SQpcriority a jpiod con<^tutii}ii c'^en me
lover yoti — Health ik the greatest of all posses
VOQS; ond 'tis a maxim nitli mc, thnt uu hale
cobler i% a brtter man than a sick kin^,

J. H'fxxf. Welt, wdi, jrnn are a niorttann.

Hav. And u> would you, too, if yoa wvM
take my advice. A sportsman ! why, there is
iMtlung like it : I would not exchange the «ata>-
faction I feel, whde I am beating the lawns and
tJiickets about my little farm, far all tbc enter-
taiuiuents and pn£;cantry in CbrtsteiMfom.

AIR.

Ejtc :;nT nnei And rnat

Make iFk* mnn oftheir fate.
From plea«irr in pleasure tiiey run :

Well, who Cares a jot*
' I cnry ihtni nut.

While I have my dog and my gun.

I'or eserctsp^ air.

To (he ticldi [ repair,
I With ^piriu uiK-Iouded and li|tltK :

TIic blittscs I timi.

No stinj-s lenre behind,
But hcaltli aiuj dircrsun unilc.

Enter IIot>CE.

fhtdef. Did vour norship call, sir f

J. tl'ooit. Call, jirf where bare yoa Jinrf'
rtfct nf these mscnls he«.*ii ' hnt, I sappose, 1 nW"*
not ask — Y<nj milsl know tht-re ts a >tatutc. a&r
for hiring serranu, held upon my ^rcen Tonhf ;
wc hare it u<>(inlly at this season of the yotr, aad
it never fails tu put all (he folks Uetv-aboaCMt
of their sen>es,

limine. Ivird, your honour, Inuk wit, and Sit
what a nice shf^w they make yonder; thrr hil
got pipers, and Cdtcrs, and were tJancin^ tsl
cnrae idong, for dear life — I never saw Mcb s
mortal tlirong in ourvilhige in all inj buradu^
again.

Haic. Whr, I like ihts dow ; this i« as it ibooU
be.

/. fl'twrf. No, no, '(is a very f ■. ' * vrf
bu!(nK'«4; i^mhI for nothini; but'lu ..|1»-

n(,-» and the gelling of ba«rards: Lul i -.miuU
measure* for prerpnting it another venr, boH I
duubt ^thrcher I urn utit •lufHacDlly authoraAl
iitrendy ; fur, by an act passed ^itttv mrndttit*
CfiroU primi, which iinpowert a jiiitk« oTpcsct*
who is lunl of ihc manor

Haa\ Conic, cunie, never mind the act: it*
me tell you, this is a icry proper, a very tnchl
meeting; I want a ^cmuit ur t^o mtself, I not
e:o see whiit yonr market aflurd^: — u'lid vmi ikal
go, and the girh>, my little Xoicy and the otbe
yoimg rogue, and we'll make a day on*t as »cBv
the riKt.

J. ]1'mH. I wish, raaner Hawthorn, IoodU
tcucli vnu to be a little more aediite : wby *oa^
you tale pattern by tne, and consider lourAf*
niiv ?— Odds hcnrl, I don't wonder joo" art ■*
a nch man ; vou laueh too laiirti crtj- la he nik

Haw. Ki^t, Dcighboar Woodkoc^ f boriidk
3

BlCKSRSTAFF.3

BKITISTI DRAMA.

I

I

gorx^humour, nnd rompetrnre, n tnr moctti- anil,
it' my dccuion have a mitui, the/are vkclaimt
U> make it mjr eptiaph.

AIR.

The boaeit benn, whose diouf^hta are clear

From fnwd, riisfuisc, and puile.
Need neillier fortune's frowning fear.

Nor court the luirlut'» siudc

The erentncfu, that would make us grarc,

li but an emptj ilitrrr ■
Whnt mure liuiii inirtlt would murtals hare?
Tiie cheerful iniui'k n Ling.

[Eimnt.
SCENE IV.

LCCIXDA, IlODCC

Luc. Hist, hist, Ilixlce!

Hodge. Who calls? here bid I.

Jmc. Weil, hare you been?—

Jiodgt. )iecai ny, I hit' bcc-n fiircnouitb, an
(bftt be all : you never kifcw any tiling fall outw
fnuiy in your Ixtni Jayt.

Imc. W'hv, whui's the matter f

HiMifie. Why, yuu know, 1 live not take a
bone out of lui itursliip's uubli:* iUi» mumm^
for f<enr it should he nuswd, and breed <jiicktinns;
aad Mir old iing at humc was 90 cruelly bent i'tb'
lioofs, tliat, pour beast, it hod nut u fixjt to set
ftu (truuml ; m X waa fain to ^o to farmer Fioueli-
•haic's Bt th« Gmnp-, to borruw tlic loan of his
baJd filly : and, v^ould you lliink it } ttAcr nidk-
lag all that way — dc'e) frt»nt me, if the i:xii!i»-
gnuned toad did iiul deny ine llic favour.

JjK. Unlucky!

Sodge. Well, thoo I went my wnys to ibe
King'*'tte«d in the vil1u!:e, tint itll ihcir cattle
were at plough : and 1 Mat as for to Mx'-k below
aC Uic turupike ; so ut last, lor u not of a liclTcr,
I was forced to take up with damo Quickset's
blind mare.

Lmt. Oh, then you have been ?

&fdge. Vcs, yesi, 1 \\a been.

Jmc. PrJui ! \Vhv ili'l not ynn wit kj at I'lwc ?

Hodge. \yVj but I havu had a main urewuuc
Jaunt oa't, for fcbe i» a Mirry judo nt bciL

Lite. Well, well, did you see Mr Eutiacx, and
«ki«t did Iw ioy t# you ? — Cuuie, quick--^re
you e'er a letter }

HiMige. Vc% be g»vc ui« a letter, if I hii'na*
lost it.

ij»c. l/Mt it, man !

Hodgf. Nay, noy, have a Ut of patience : ad-
■tr«wm« you are always io mjcK a hurry. [Humma-
fing Am fwkttt,^ 1 put it Bouitwhere in iliis
waiiMcuat ptckrt. Oh, brrc it is !

£«c So I gire it tnc.

[Rendt lh£ leltrr la hertrlf.

iiodgt. Lord^hmercy ! bow my arm achsiriih

iHNwin* that plaguy beast ; I'll hr haiisrd if I
woa'a't. mtlicr ha' tlinuticd bnlf a day, titan ha'
ridden her.

Luc. Welly l^Iodgc, yon have done your bosi-
neu very well.

Hodge. Well, have not I, now ?

ittcYes — Mr Rovtare t«n» me, tu ihin letter,
tlml he will be in the green laoe, nt ihc otlicr end
of the villajrc, by twelve otluck — You know where
be cnme heff^rc ?

Hmige. Ay, ay.

Luc. Well, yoq must ffl ibere ; and wait tiH
he arrives, and waicb yo*u opportunity to intro-
duce bim, acrnM ihc fields, ini') the little sum*
mer-hou!r, uii the Icl^ side of the gimii:n.

Hodge. That's eixniiih.

Jjic. But tidte particular care tbat nobody seea
you.

Hodge. I waimiK ynu.

Jjir. Nor, for your life, drop a wrjrd of il to
any tnonal !

Hodfic. Never fear me.

Luc. And, Uudgc ■

AIR.

Hodge. Wnll, well, tny no inore;

i>urc yuu tuid me before ;

I see tUc full lei));tli of my realher^
Do you thiidi I'la a fool.
That I need gu to school ?

I can spell you, and put you loi^etlicr,

A word to the wtie.
Will always suffice ;
Add)ni{!£er>i, pt talk to your parrot i
I'm nut tuch an e)f»
TbouKh I nr tt mywli^
But I knuw a snet^'ft bend from a carnu.
f £jir Uddcc
Jjte. How severe ift my can: ! Here I am ob*
lifted to mrry on a clande&tme corre»pondcuc«
with a man iti all mpects my equal, because the
oddity of tuy futher't temper n sudt, that I dare
not tell him I have c»er yet seen the iicrsou I
fltould like to marr\ — Bui, perliaps, he has qua-
lity ID bia eye, and nopes, one duy or utiier, a* I
Ain hi» only dtild, to match me with a title— Tain
ima^inatjoti !

AIK.

Cupid, Kod of soft pertuoaion,
Taka the IwlpltM lover's part :

Seize^ oh snixe sooae ktud oocanoii,
To reward a faithful heart.

Justly tliMe we tyrants call.
Who the liody would enthral;
Tvrauts of mure cdmI kind.
Thowi who would easlate ibe wind.

BY

S5\

BUITISII DRAMA.

[BiCKKRSTAPP.

What 13 f^mndrur? for tn rest,
Cliildisb tninnincrv bi bcsL
lUppv f tn huiiiljle stale;
Caioi', yc fools, Uic glittering bait

[EiU

SCENE V,—AJiebt with a tttk.

£nter Modc t^ Jotloepcd bt/ Majigekv; entt^ tome
time tijter, enter Yoi hc Mt*DOW».
Hoffge. Whnt duc5 tlic weach folluw me fur i
Odd» llc&h, folk uiny will taU', to kv yoa daii<i-
liri|; after me every wtit-rc, like n tiuituny pis: :
find »oiiia other road, can'i you } nnd don't keep
wlierrciing mc with your nou^cinse.

ilar. Nny, pray you, Hodgr, 5iny, and let mc
tpeak to you a bit !

ll'Hfgfi Well; what sayn you?
Mar. Deart heart, how can you be » barbs-
rou»? and is lhi» the way you serve mc nftcrnll?
und wpni you keep jmir word, Hodj;e ?

Hott^f. Why, no, I won't, 1 (t-il you ; I hove
chaiiiEcd my iiuud.

Mar. NnT.biii Mirely, lurely — Consider, Hodge,
vou Hfc otilif^iitcd in conwience to make uic an
Aonof woniiuj.

Ilutiffc. Obl>)tntcd ia cunMieucc ! How am I
obligutcd }

Mar. Because yoti are ; nnd none but the ba-
fiei^t of rogues wniild bring a poor ^rl to »)innic,
omi nftcrwards leave her to tite wide world.

Hodgt, Brin); you to Hliatne ! Don't mukc dk
•peak, Madfie ; don't make mc speak.
3iar. Yes, do; spcuk your w»r*t.
Hodge. Why, then, if vou Ro to that, ^ou were
fain to le^^-e your own villaaie down in the West,
for a hnstnrri vou had bf the clerk nf iJie [larish,
and I'll bring the man bball say it to yonr face.

Mar, No, no, Hod}£e; 'tisnb such thinj;; 'tis a

base lie of farmer Plooj^Hshnre's^Bui, I know

I what makes ymi fsil^e-bearted to mc — that vuu

> may keep company wirh young madam's waitntg-

woman ; and I am sure she's no 6t body for a poor

man's wife.

Hodfif. flow thoald you know what she's fit

for^ She's lit for no much us you, mayhap; don't

find fault with your betters, Mad|;e. \Sreinfi

YocBO Me*dows.] Oh ! miurtcr I'bnmas, I have

, ft word or two to say tu you ; pray, did not you

So down the Tillage one day loat week nith a bn5>
ct of uomething upon yonr shoulder f

Younf^ Mea- Well, and what then ?

Hodee. Nay, not much, only ihe ostler at the
Green Mao was n^o^ an how tittrc wiu a pn)>>
aengcr ui Uictr house Bf see'd you go by, ami «aid
h«! know'd you ; and att a mort of qnestiant. — So
1 tlxjufilit I'd tcU you.

Youftg MtiL The devil ! ask quc«ttons about
me ! I know nobody in this part of the country ;
tliere mu«t be fcorae niistftke in iL — Come hither,

Hod^C. [£xif UODCE.

Jfor. A nasty, ungrateful fellow, to tisc mc at

ihia rate, aAer bcinf; to hbn a» I hnv«.— Well
well, I wiiii all poor girls would take ^ajv'w^bf
my mislnip, and never have notlaug to mj to i

ot'tllCIO.

AIR.

How bnppy were my days, till nnw !

I ncVr did sorrow frel ;
I n>sc, with joy, m milk my cuw»

Or take my spionin^;- wheel.

My heart wak li(:hter than a 6/,

Like any bird 1 suag,
Till he prelemled Inve, and I

Believed his fluttcrinfc LoDgue.

Oh the fonl, the silly ully fool.
Who tnists what man may be !

I uish I wa.s a innid again.
And in uy own country. [J

sri'NR VI.— i< erren, vitk the jtrospect <^ m
Tillage, and the rvpretentatton oj a ttaiute-, ir
fair.

F.ntrr Jrsrirr WfiowoCK, HAWrHoav, Mw
Devoraq Woodcock, Li'cinda. lloncrrt,
YuL-KG Mladows, Hooce, kiu/ srprfo/ mn-
try ptople.

Hndgr, Tliis way, yrtnrwonJiip, thir^way. Why
dou't you uand aside tberef Here's hi» worshipa
euming.

CoKi. Hia witr«hip !

./. W<M>d. Fyc, fyo, what a crawd*« this ! OW,
I'll put vtmc oi t(wm iit the stocks. \Stnkii^ »
fcttian.^ Stand out of the way, sirmh !

Hate. For sliame, oeifthbonr ! Well, nrr bd,
are you willing to serve the kingf

Cmrri. Why, can you li»t ma ! Serre the kinib
master f no, iw ! I pay the king thaA cooaglb i^
rue. Ho, hn, ho )

Harr. Well ^uid, Stunly-boots ■

J. Wood. Nay, if you talk to tbnn, tliryV «^

itwer you.

Haw. I woitlil have tlicm do wo; t '
thoold, — Well, manain, is mil this a tn,
I flid not know my oeijchhnur't e»tate Iwd tmi
90 well peopled. ->- Are tdl these \\\s own teaaeaf

Mrt Dth More limn arc irood of ihofB, Mr
Hawthorn. 1 don't like to s#c snch a paR*!^
yuuni: huskies Deering with the fellows.

Han. Tliea''* a lata. [Herkuntng to* fwnrfa
eiW.] Come hither, my pn-'iry maid. Wkit
brings yuti here? [Chuekmg her umdrr thi oiia)
Uo you t'omc to look for a service .'

C. Girf. Yes ; nn't pleas*- y»n.

Haw. Well, and nhm place are you fori

C Girl. All work, an't please you.

J. liWi. Ay, ay, I doo*l doobt it; »liy •<*
you'll put her to.

BlCKI&STAFF.]

BRITISH DltAMA.

I

M^i De6. She loolu like a braicii (kac--^o,
httuy.

ifrtir. Here's anotlicr. fGifrAiw^ a girf thai
ffoct Ojf.] What healtli, wliut hham !— This i«
Nature'* work ; do art, no daubiiiK. Don't lie
ashamed, child ; those diceks uf thine ore enoiieh
lo put a whole drawinf;-ro(mioutuf'cauiitL-ruitir(-.

Hodgr. Now, yoiir hnnour, oow the spiiri will
come. The Kut-5crapcrs iirc hciv, and M)mc
oiDOfig thcni iiri! i^intc to Mng and diucr. VVh>,
them's tmt the hie uf uur fttatiitc, mun, in lit?
(xiuntibs: olbcrs are bat fools tu it

Semaitl-maK, Cnmc, pxtA people, make a rioi;.
and Hand out, fellow ftenrants, nt inanv uf voti a^
are wJling. and ibic lo boor u b<ilx " W«'ll let
ni]r matters and mt>«tnf«scs tee we run du tuuu'-
Uune, at lea»t ; if tht-r wou"t hire us, il shaii'l ht
■ «iir faulL Scrike up the berrant's Medlex.

Alii,

Hause-maiii.

^niy ve. gentlei, list ir> mc.
rm Toung, and suon^ and clcnn, you see ;
1^1 not turn tail to anv <tlie.

Fur work iluil'i in tiic country.
Of ail your hoiite the cbnrEC I take,
1 waih, I scrub, I brew, [ bnkc ;
And more can do ttiau here III speuk,

DepRodinf; ou yotir bounty.

Footutan.

Behold • blade, who knoMS his trade
In chamber, boil, and entry :

And what tho' here I now appcapj
I've sKrviil the best orgcnlry,

A fuotintui wuuld vou Ituvc?

1 au) drciFi, :iiid conih, nnd sliave ;
Fur 1 a hiin(l) Uil »m :

On a mc^wco I am qo,

And klip H billcl-donx.
Witli your bumble aenaat, madam.

Cook'maid,

Who wanii a good cook, my hand they must

iToss;
Vnr plAii) whuleMmc ditlie^ I'm ne'er at a Iom;
And Mbnt tire your soups, your rsj^outs, and your

snucc,
<-'uuiparcd lu old Eughbli roast beef?

Carttr.

If you want a young man, with a troe hoixtf

hearty
Wb» knows liuw to mann^ a plough and n carl,
llcre'it one for voflr parpiMe, come take me and

Voull sny you ne'er met with a better oor I,
Gc ho Dubbin, &c.

CAenu.

My masters ond mistresses, hither repair ;
Whni w^n-nntft ynu want, you'll tind in our ftiir;
Ueu and maids fa for all ioru of stations ctiere

he:
And, as lor the wages, we shan't diMtgru*-

[EstUHt.

ACT n.

8CENB I. — J pmrhur in JosTici: Wooiwoci's
houu.

Enter LcciKDA oad EusTaCK.

£sir. Well, am not I a bold ulventarer, to
llfsag rou intn my father's himw at notm-duy ?
Xhomfiit W ■■^y the truth, we are safer here ihau
so die ganlen ; for there is not n human creature
under the roof bcsidn uur^elves.

Eut Then why not put our scheme iato eie-
cistiaii tht^ moment f I have a posl-chaise ready.

Luc. Fyo ! how can you talk to lightly f 1
pcoteal I am afraid lo have any thing to do with
you; your passion seems tnti much founded on
•ppctite: and mv aunt Deborah savs— ^ —

£Mf. What I by all the rapture my heart now

Lmr. Oh, to be sure, promts and row ! it
ammds prettily, and nerer fails to impose upon a
Samd female.

Arn

We women like weak rndtans trade,
Wbo.«ejtM)jEment tinsel thow dccoya;

Dupes to our folly wc arc made,
While artfiil roan the tEoiu irajoys:

We )f;iie our treasure, to be paid,
A paltry, poor return ! in toys.

Em. Well, I see you'^eamind lu divert yooi^
9elf with me ; but I wish I cuuld prcrail on you
to be ajittle serious.

Luc. Seriously, then, wlmt wo«ld you desire
uie to sav ^ I hate promised t') run away with
you ; which is as Rfent a ronceisinn as any rear
sunable \ovtt can etpect from his mistrrw.

Em. Yes; but, you dear, prm-oking angel, yoa
have Mot told me when you will run away wiiii
me.

Luc. Why that, I coofeUt rtquirei wme con-
sideration.

BRITISH DRAMA.

356

Eut. Yet renember, while you arc dcHber»-
tinR, the leason, now so forourable lo i», twj
elapse, never to return.

AIR.

Think, my fairest, how dcla:f

Danger evetr moment brings;
Time flics swift, and will away;

Time that's ever on its wings ;
Doubting and suspeoce at best,

Lovers late repentance cost ;
Let us, eager to be blest,

Seize occasioo e'er 'tis past.

Enter Justice WooncocK, and Mrs Deborah

WOODCOCE.

J. Wood. Why, here is nothing in the world in
this house but catcr-wauhng from morning till
night, nothinf; but catcr-wauliiig! lloity tuity !
who have wc here i

Luc. My father, end my aunt !
Eui. The devil ! what shall we do ?
Luc. Take no notice of them, only obwrve
xae.— {Speaks aloud to Ecs.]— Upon my word,
sir, 1 don't know what to s:iy to it, unless the
justice was at home; he is just stepped into the
village with some company ; but, if you'll sit
down a moment, I dare swe:ir he will return —
[PreUndt to tee thejuttice.}~-0 1 Sir, here is my
papa !

J. Wood. Here is your papa, hussy ! \yho's
this you have got with you ? Hark you, sirrah,
who are yon, yc dog i And what's your business
here?

Eut, Sir, this is a Inngua^e I am not used to.
J. Wood. Don't answer nic, you rascal — I am
a justice of the peace; and if I hcnr a word out

four mouth. 111 send you to jail, fur all your
oced hat.

Mrs Deb. Send him to jail, brother, that's
righL

J. Wood. And how do you know it's right ?
How shuuld you know any thing'si right ? Sister
Deborah, you arc never in Uic right.

Afrs Deb. Brotlier, this is the man 1 have been
telline you about su long.

J. Wood, What man, goody Wise-arre !

Mrs Deb. Why, the man your daughter has an
intrigue with : but I hope you will not believe it
tujw, though you see it with your own eyes-

f'nmA- hiiKBv mnrAsB anil Ann't tr>t uniii* fV

[BicvsmtTAft^

•■^"J *•»•**•&!■ 1 »**■ trvk ab viiti T«rui iJ*-mt* b1««9

Come, hussy, confess and don't let yo^ father
make a fool of himself any longer.

Luc. Confess what, aunt ! 'Uui gentleman is a
music-master : he goes about the country, tcadi-
ing ladies to play and sing; and has been recom-
mended to instruct nie : 1 could not turn him
out when be came to oHer his service; and did
not know what answer to give him till I saw my
]upa.

J. Wood. A music-master !

Eut. Yes, sir, that's my professioD.

MrtDeii lt'»alie, yomi^mwi; tftafe^
Brother, he is no more a mono^aaiter, than I
am a masio-master.

J. Wood. What then, yoo know better than
the fellow himMilf ? and you wiU he wuer ttas
alltheworid? , . .-.

Mra Dtb. Braiher, he doea not look l&e a
music-master. , , . „ . . i

J. Wood. He does not knk ! Ha, ba, ha ! m
ever such a poor stupe ! well, and what does he
look like, then? But I suppose yoo mean he »
not dressed like a musio>nia«er, hecaoM of bs
ruffles, and thia bitof ffwniAing about hweoai
—which seems to he copper, too— why, w •Bj
wretch, these whipper-wappefa set up for p»
tiemen, now*HJays, and give themaelT«s » M^
airs as if they were people rf qoabnr. Bmin,
friend, I suppose you d<»'t come wioin tha «(•

raut net? You have some settled habitatiaiF

where do vou live? ... ,.

Mrt Deb. It is an ea»r m^ter for him to teU
you a wrougplace.

J. Wood. Sister Deborah, don't provoke me.
3/ri Dfb. I wish, brother, you would let m»
examine him a little.

J. Wood. You shan't say a word to him; jsa
shan't say a word to him. ^^

Mrt Deb. She says he waa reconmeaded
here, brother ; ask him by whom?

J. Wood, Ho, I won't now, becanse yon de-
sire it.

Luc. If my papa did ask the quettton, aunt, i
would be very easily resolved.

ilrtDeb. Who bid you speak, Mr* NimWe
Chops? I Mipp(Me the man has a tongue in bn
hea^ to answer for himself.

J. Wood. Will nobody stop that prating oM
woman's mouth for me ? Get out of the room .^
Mrt Deb. Well, sol can, brother; I do"*
want to stay : hut, remember, I tell yoo, «•
will make yourself ridiculoas in this »ma: for<
through your own obstinacy, you will have y«r
daughter fun away with, before your face.

J. Wood. My daughter ! Who will run twj
with my daughter?

Afri Dei. That fellow wilL ^_^

J. Wood. Go, go, you are a wicked, ceannoai
woman.

Luc. Why, sure, madant, yoa mast tboa ar
very coming, indeed.

Jr. Wood. Ay, she judges of otbets hgr hcndt:
I lemeraher when she was a girl, her ■»
dated, not trust, her the length of her ip*[
string; she was dambering upon ewfj ■■■■*
back.
Mn Det. I was not.
/. Wood. You were
Luc. Well, but why so violent t

AIR.

BeUeve me, dear aunt.
If yoa imve thui^ and ran^

BrrKEK»TAFr.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

iSff

Yiiull never a lover persuade;
The men will uil fly,
Aitil leave v»u to die.
Oil, lefiible ulinncc ! on old mftid.
How linppy the lass,
MiiH %Ue cuiuo tu tbii pnas,
Who iincK.iit virginity 'scapes !
Twerc better on i-artli
\ln\c ii\c. Kruts ut u liirtli,
Tluu) ill Itell be ii leatlcr nl'npr'k

[Krit Mrs Dcb.

J. H'iknJ. Well iloiic, Liicy ! m-'ikI her uUnithcr

Itusintid: n troublesorne, fonltsli rrenlurr! dnc9

»he tbiiik I want tr> br dircctetl by Imt ? CutnC

bilher. my lad; yuti look tnlrrnbic h<ii>cst?

fill. 1 ttopc, Mr, I shall never give you cause
la niter yuur opuiion.

J. WooJ. Sn, nn, 1 am iint easily (terrived; I
■in Beiierally |irrily ri^lil in my toiyecturos. —
You niu>rf knawr, 1 hod once r little niMinn of
louMC mt«clf, and le«rned ii|>oa (he lidille ; I
BMld play tlio Trumpet Minuet, mid Ikittrrcd
StoM» mod twoor ibrce tiine«. I remember, t«bcn
t wu in I^ondon, about thirty ycar^ n^i>, there
w«« m *nafj a ^reat fuvomilc at uur club ut
Naiilli'*»coiee>)touse: Jnrk lVl;Ieuscd to«ini[it
fwr as — Ik drull 69h ! but *ti« an old tiling ; 1 dare
sw ear you biive Leard ot' i( often.

AiH.

Wbco 1 followed a lass that wai frownrd aiid

»hy.
Oh ! 1 stuck la Iter %tuS, till I made btr cum-

ply:
Ob ! 1 took lier so lovindy maud ilic waiw.
And I «iiiucked hiT lips, nnd held her fasi :

Wlirri bittxvi) aud b:iuk-il,

Sbr M^iictilcd and «()uiilled ;
Hut, tlioif^b blie rowed iiH I did was in vnin,
Y«l I |>)ca*vU Iwr ao uell, ttiut !>lie bore il

auuu:

Inen hoity tuity^

WluslniK. Hud fDiikinft
Green wu» her gown upm tbc pnvt ;
Oil ] Bucb were llw joy« of our dancing dayi.

Etii. Very well, air, upno my word.

J. Wood. No, nit, I t'or^rct idl these ihingH now ;
(lul 1 could du H little nt llicni oiico; M-ell, May
aod rat ynur dinner, and we'll talk about your
Unchliir Ute t'lrl l.m.t, lake your moater m

rur »pinnci,aiid ftbcw him what you trim do— -
naM go nnd pvo M>mu ordem: tlien hoity,
Ulity,&c. [En/ .1. Wood.

Lmc. My kweet, pretty papa, your nioM nbcdi-
Cftt humble f^nrunt; Iill, la. lia! Was erer vi
wtumafcol an ncddcntf Welt, sir, what do you
■Isinli of ic?

Ktu. Think of it ! I am in anuu«.
Ijmt, O your niikwnrdne**^ ! i was frii;hluned
Mtt of my wits, lost yuu iboold out take liio hint ;

and, if I had not turned maitera to cleverly, wft
»hoiild hnre been utterly undoac.

Eat. V^Hjcalh ! why would you briofc me inC»
the hou«e? We could expect uothins elite : h»-
sides, ftincfi tliev did surprise us, it tvould havo
been better to hare dtscovered the truth.

Luc. Yet, nnd never have seen one nnoihera^
terwanl»t i know my fathtr bettor ihao you
do; lie has token it iuUi bis head ] hnvo no iik-
clinatioa for a huftband ; and, let mc tell.yoo,
thnt is our lM*^t necurity ; for if once he hns Miid
u tiiine, he will nut be ciisdy persuaded to thn
contrary.

F.nt. And pmy, what rnn I to do now ?

Luc, Why, as 1 tliink all danger is (jrotty well
over, since he hath invited yuu tn dtnucr with
him, Atny ; only ha cantiou» of ynur bf haviour ;
and, in the mean time, 1 wilt comider rfhu ia
next to be done.

£ai. Had not I bettor go tn your fatlwr?

Lm\ l><» so, while [ oiwieavouT to recover
rnvnell' a httle out of the flurry this aSiur has put
me m.

Kut. Well, hut what sort of a parting! is this,
without so much as your Kn'ant, or good hv to
you? No ceremony nt nil ? Can you nflbrd mo
no token to keep up my spiriu till I Me yon
nijain ?

Luc. Ah, childish !

Eut. My angel !

AIR.

Eus. Ixt rakes and libertines^ resigned
To wnsual plauures, mn^e !
HfTT nil the «tx> rharm<i 1 find,
And ne'er can cool or chon^.
Luc. IjCt vmn cu<fuclte« and pniHrs ronoeal
Whnt most their hearu desire.
With pride mv pa^-iion I reveal,
Oh ! may it nt'et expire.
Both.Thc fiun shall ceaw to iprcnd its light,
The stars their orbits leave,
Aud luir crcniion sink in night,
When I my dear deceive,

[Ejetint.

SCENE H.— J C-rvfea.

Enter UfK&tTTA, musing.

RtH. If «Tor poor creature was m a pitiable
conditioii, soroly t am. The devil take this fel-
low, I cannot get him out of mv head ! nnd yoC
I woulil faiu penuiade myielt' t don't care for
him - well, bur, surely, I am micin love. Let me
canmine my heart a little : 1 saw him kissing ooa
of the maids the other day ; 1 could have boicd
his earn for it, and h»ve dune nolhinf; but lind
fault attd quntrcl nith tlie girl ever udtc. Why
WII4 I uneasT nt his toyiiu; with anotlicr womanF
What wa» u lo nicf Tfaea I dmin oi' him tS-

:

333

BRITISH DRAMA.

[BiCKBRSTArr.

most evciy night — bat thot may proceed from
Ills being ecncmllT uppcnno^t in mv thouehu nil
ii»j : Ob : worse aiirt «ur*e ! Well, he « rcr-
(uialy a pretty lad; he has sometliJn^ UDCuiixuun
ubouc hint, coiitiidcriiig hitt rank : And nnw, let
hh! oiity put the uim', i( be wu» not a servant,
would I, or would I not, prefer him to all tlir
men I ever saw ? Why, to bo »ua-, if he was noc

a lervoni In short, I'll ask myself no more

queuion^; for the further I eiamtne, the less rca-
Miu I shall have Ui be sntinfied.

AIR.

How blnscrl ihe mniil, whose bosom
No lieiul-atrunir passiun kiuiM-ji;
Her d»ys in j^iy she piis-ses,
Her nights in enlni lepn^e.
Where'er her fancy leads her,
Nopnin, DO fear inradct her}
But pleanore,
Witliout measure.
From crery object flows.

Entrr Vouito McaMMs.

Young Mre Tia you romc into tlic gnnlen,
Mrs tlosKtta, to put my lilie^i and rtae't out of
ronntennnre; or, to «av'u me tbu inwhle nf uii-
terinj; inv flowers, hy retivin<! them t 'Vhc sun
•eems to have hid himielf n little, to gire you aji
oppoitunitv of supplying; hin place.

Rot. Wlicrc could Ite get that, now^ He nc-
Ter rend it in the Arariemy of Complinienii.

Youtif ASea. Come, dou't aD't-ct lo treat me
with contempt; I cao sutlier any thin^ better
than that. In flbort, I Im'c you; there is nontorc
to be said : [ am angry wilh mv&clf fur it, and
kirive all I can agsiost it ; but, in Fpitc of myself,
I lore you.

AUL

In i-ftin, I every art e«say,
Topluck the renomed shaft nway,

That rankles in my heart ;
Deep in the centre tixed and bound —
iUy e^rU but enlarge the wuuud,

And lierccr make the smart.

Am. Really, Mr Hiomas, this is very impro-
])«r language ; it is what I don't understand; 1
viui'l sulfer it, nnd, in short, I don't like it

Yaune Mea. Perhaps, you don't hko mc ?

Roi. Well, perhaps, I don't

Youtig Mta. Nay, but 'tis not m; com^ con-
' ftfM you love mc.

no*. Confess ! indeed, I ihaJl oonfcM no such
\ tiling ; betidts, to what purpose should I confess
' ii?

Ynng Mea. Why, u you sny, I don't know

to what purpose ; nnly, itwonld be a satufacdoa
to nic to liciir ynu mv w, tliat's all.

HiD. \S hy, if 1 did tovc yon, I can a'^«are you,
you would neier he the better foi il^Womrti
nrt apt cnnu^h b> lie wenk ; we mnnriC b1«s>s
answer for nur iiK'iiitati<ius l>ul it i^ m our pvwcr
not to give way to ihem ; and, if I wa« ut sitly;
I say, if I was so indiscreet, which I hope I uu
not, as In eiiiertnin an impnipcr recarri. when
|>eupl(r's cirriim^m tiers ntr ((uiie unMitul'le, and
there arc ub«liicle« m tiK way that aumOL ha
sunnouniedi

YoHHg Mea. Oh ! to be «ure, Mr« Rovctta, to
be sure : you are entirely in the right of it— —
I — know very well, you and I cmn miver oooie
tuifctlier.

Rot. Well, then, uoce that is the aacy as I
assure you it is, I think wc bad better bcbatc
accordifiKlj.

Young Mea. Suppoie tre make a bargn^
then, never to speak to one another any morel

Kiu. With all my heart.

Young Mea. Nor look at, dot, if pogJM^
think of, one anotiter?

Rot. I nin very willing.

Youiiff Mea. And, ns lune tu we sta^ is ite
house iiit:etlier, never to take lUiy nobwf

Hot. It i-i tlie brstwny.

I'.iMMi; Mra. Why, I Iwlieve it is — WHl, Mn
Kossettit—

AIR.

Rot. negone ! — I ap«e.

From this loament, we're frfT.
Already the matter I've !mani:
YouH^ Mea. Yet let mc ctNopKiin

Of the fiiles that ordah^^
A trial &o hard t<> be burao.
Hot. Wlwu ihiiip arc not ^r.

We abiiuld calmly submit;
No cure in reluctance wc 6nd :
Young Mta. Then, ihu» X ubey*

Tear your imnge awny.
And banish you quite frum my niinJ.

Rot. Well, now, 1 think. 1 am somcwlntfa*-
er : I imi glail I liave come to thia cipfauHUM
with hitii, because it puts an eud to tliinp at
once.

Young Mfa. Hold. Mn RoMetta, prnr star •
moment^ — llie nir» this girl gties hmclfarv W
tolerable ! I find now the cauflc of her hfhrrT
our; sbe despisei tl>e meunness of my liuiiIiIW.
thinking a gardener below thn ouikc of a inift
waitk^t-woaun : 'SdoidH I bare a good miad w
discover myself to ber.

Jlo$. Poor wretch ! he docs not koo* wkit
to make of it : I believe he is heartily iq*n^
ed, but Lmust imt pity him.

Young Mm, It Aball be so : I wtQ AKor«r
myitelf tu ber, and leave Uie bouse dirtctJy,-^-

BlCKEBSTAFP].

BRITISH DRAMA.

Mrs HuKtta. [Starting hack.] Vox on't, j-onder
15 chc Ju^uoe coQic iiitu the i;ui-deii !

Roi. O, Ixird ! hr will walk round this nav ;
pinv, go about your business; I would not tor
the world he Uiould we u^ tocctlier.

Toung Mca. The devil talc tiitn ! lie'* gone
■fro»6 the parterre^ wid ran't holiblr here thi>
!>aif hour : I iiiu>i aud will have a. liitJc cuiiver-
Htiott with you.

Him. Sumc oiIkt timr.

Youttfi Mea. This evening in the grc£n-)ioosc,
■t the lower end of ihe canal ; I hare soiDetliiii^
to conioiunicau- to you of itiiportaucc. Will
you iDC«t iu£ ihcrc \

Rot. Meet you !

Young \fui. Ay ; I have a serrel to tell yon ;
and I swear from thai moment, rhcrc abati Im' a,u
mnd of every thiofc tx-twikt u»

Rot. Well» well^ prav leave me now.

ToMmg Men. Vou'll cutoe, Utcn i

Rm. I don't know; perhnp^ I may.

Toting Mea. Nny, but promise.

ilot. What signifies my promiMng^ I rony
hrc«k my promiM> — but, 1 tell you, I will.

i'otimg Mea. Enough ! Vet, bcl'uru I lc«vc
you, let medesim you tu believe I love you more
than wcT man loved woiimn ; nnd ttuit, wlien I
relio'ititsh you, I giic up all timt can make my
life suppoitable.

AIB.

Oh, how fthall T, in language weak}

My nrdtnt pnsMon tell;
Or form my tault'rirui: tunguc to *peak,

Thnl cruel U'urd, Farewell?

Farewell ! hiit know, though thus we part,

My thouphta can nc*er stray ;
Go talicre i will, mv conttont heart
Must with my charniM' stay.

[Exit.
Enter JcsTicc Wooococe.

Rot. Hint am this be that he wants to tell
enc? I hnve a strange curiosity to hear it, me-
ihi nk» — wcl I

/ Wood- Mem! hem! Ilowctia !

Rot. So, I ihoucht the dc»il would throw him
IB my way; rwiw, for a cmirt«hip of a difrt.n.'ut
kmd: but I'il give huu a surfeit — Did ynu call
we, «r ?

j. H'oo/L Ay, wbera arc ynu rumtiog so fast f

Km. I was only ^ting in to the house, sir.

J, IVtutii, Well, btit Cfime here : come here, I
MV. [LookiHfi ci^(.] liow do you do, ItowiCt-
tm't

Re*. Tltnuk you, tir, pretty well,

J. li'ottd. Why yuu \tMik as frc^b a^id htuO'Tny
tvtiay — .-Vdudi you llltlc shtr, 1 believe you are
^fftted.

Ho4, 0, sir ! you are (ile«v<l Jo compliment.

I

J. Wood. Adad, I belicire you are— -let toe
try

Hat. Lord, sii !

J. Wood. What brings yon into tliis pirden to
ofu-ii, Kussettaf I hope you don't ^t eating
Kreen fruit and trash ^ or nave you a haolcenng
after some lover in dowlas, who spoils my trves
by eofcraving true lovers knots on them, with

your horn and buck-hai)dlcd knives I 1 tee

your name written upon the ceitins of the ser-
vants* hall, with the smoke uf a candle; and I
quspcct

Itoi. Not me, I hope, sir? No. sir; I am of
aiiiither ifurai mmd, I assure you ; for, I havo
lieard wy, men are false and 6tiJ«^—

J. Wood. Ay, that's your flaontioBt idle, ytrauK
fellows; so they are: and they are so damned
iinputlent, • wonder a wnmnti will hare any thinji
to say ID them ; besides, all that they want is
something tu brag of, and tell njpjn.

Rot. Why, I own, sir. if ever I was to make a
slip, it should be uith an elderly gentleman, ft-
buut setTniy, nr sevpnty-livr year* of see.

J. Wood. No, child, that's out ut reason;
though 1 have know many n man turned of three*
iCjTC with a hale cohstitutiou.

RoL Then, sir, he should be troubled with th«
r<)u(, have a good strong, subetaniial, winier-
CMO^h — and I should not like him the WOlie— if
he lind a sniNll touch of the rlieuoruitism.

J. Wood. Phn, pbo, Rosaetta ! this is jesting.

Rot, No, sir, every body has a taste, and t
have mine.

/. Wood. Well, but Rossrtta, have you thought
nt' what 1 was s;tying to you ?

Uo\. What was it, Mr t ,

J. Wood. Ah ! yog know, you know, wed
cntHigh, hussy.

Hot. Dear sir, consider what has a poor kt-
vant to depend on but Iter cfanraclerr And, I
have beard, you gentlemen will talk one thing
before, and nnmltcr al'ier.

/ Wood. I tell you agftitif these arc the idle,
flnaby, yoiinfE dogs : but when you have to do
with a staid, sober man

Rot. And a maeistmle, sir !

J. Wood. Ri^ht ! it is qtiite n diifiirent tiling-
Well, sliall we, Rossetta, ^ball wc i

Ros. ltc4iUy, sir, I don't know what lo say le
it.

AIR.

Voanc I am, and sore afraid :
Woulil ynu hurl a lianuless maid!
Lead an innocent nstray '
I'empt me not, kind sir, I pray.

Men loo often we believe :
And, i>)inuld you my faith decetVCi,
Ituiii lirst, und then fursake,
Sgrc mj tender boort would brrak.

SCO

BRITISH DRAMA.

[QlCKtRlTAPV.

/. Weed. Why, you silly ^, I won't do you
my barm.

Jloi. Won'i you, sir ?

J. Wood. Nt>l I.

Jiot. But wou'i ydu, indectl, »r i

J. Wood. Wliy 1 tell you, I won't*

Jtiu. lU,lin.hii!

X Wood. Hussy, hufisy !

Am. Ha, ha, ha ! Your Bcnraot, sir, yoitr wr-
yant. [ Exit.

J. Wood. Whjr> yon impudent, ludadous— —

£a/<r lUwruons.

Han. So, to, Jufitice nt odds nrilh entity !
hn wurtihip playing at ruoip^ i Your >crvant,
sir.

J. Wood. Iln! fnonil llanthom !

Hau: I li.tpe I Hoii't spoil fiport, n«^tlK>UT f I
dioogbt I liad the glinjpM ot a pettjouat ns I
came in here.

J. Wood. Oh, ihc maid ! Ay, she hu Ifrcn
ffathcring a salind — But come hither, ii.iuier
rinwthoni, and I'll »ltew you Kwnc ultcmiiuuk I
intend to mxke in my gnrdcn.

Hav. Nov no, 1 ain no juditt; of it ; bckidea, 1
want lo (aik to y<ni a little more nhout ihit —
Tell tiie, sir Jusiioe, were you helping yoitr maid
to gnthrr n Mtllnd here, or consulting hnr tnste in
your iroprureiueiits, eb? lla, hn, hn! Lul luu
>ee, all among the rosc»; cgati, I like your no-
tioa : hut you hrok a littk- hlaiik upon it • vou
•re aslikuied ofUic husiiicsis theu, irc ^-ou?

AIR.

OoDS ! neighbour, ae'er, blush for a trifle like
this;

What harm with n fair one to toy ntid lo liise 1

Tlic grutCeftt and B;rni-cfit— u truce wiili gri-
mace—

Would do iho sniue thing, were ihcy in ilie
same place.

No Bf^c, no pr<»f<r«stnn, no ttntion is (rvc ;
To >overtripi bcauiv mankind bends the kiiec :
That power, rtsistle^t, no strength can op-
pose,
We all love o pretty girl — under the rose.

J. Wood. I profess, master Ilawtbom, this is
nil IniJi:in, all Cherokee laogiugc tu uio; I
dim'i undcrsfnnd a word of it.

liim. So? may be not : well, sir, will >f>ii read
iliis letter, and try whether yon caii underbinnd
llwi t it i» just brought by u icrvaui, who stays
tor nu answer.

J. Wood. A letter, and to nir^ [Taking thr
/rt/pr.J Yos, it is to me; and vet I am sure it
comes from uo correspondent, that I know of. —
Where artf ny spectacles? not but I caa sec

very well without then, master Uavthom ; but
diis seems to be a sort of a crabbed band.

SiB,

' I am ashamed of civin^ you iFus tmablc ;—
' but, I am informed there, is an unthinkiaf boy,
' a ion of miue, now di^uised. atid in vour irr-
' ricv, in theca|incity ofo gardener : Toiti m t Ui<
' tlo wild, but an Itonen lad, and no tool cither,
' thout:h I BUI his father ihnt mt it.* Tom— ol^ .
this uThotuat, our gardeuer; I nlnatA tlioO^H
thai be was a better man's child then he appj^^|
ed to be, though 1 i«»er uieniioncd it, ^^

Hav. Well, well, sir, pray let us hear tha Kit
of the letter.

J. Wood. Slay, n here is the place f Oh, here :
' 1 am cumc it) qtinst of my ruu-awar, and write
* this Hi un inn in your tilln)^, while t am Mral-
' lowing a mor»rl of dutiicr : liccatior, uut hafuu;
' the pleasure of your acquniutanor, I did Dot
' care to intrude, without giving you ovticr.' —
Whoever iho ptTwin is, he umierstatMls jood
maiipers. * I Lk*^ leave La wiiii oa yuu, ht; bat
' dtnire y"u would kei-p my arrival a aeon, pir*
' ticulnrly from tite young man.

I'll assure you, a vrry weil-"ordcd, an! Ictif?
Uo yuu kiiuw uiy thuig of the pcr^oti «bo wnm
it, ocigJihuurf

Hatr. l«l me consider — Meadows! by dad, 1
tietieio it iit ur William Mendutvs of Northamp-
tonshire; and, noA' I reinenthcr, I hean^ svmx
time a^o, diat the heir of thut family bad ah-
BoocHled, on acnjuntofa marriage ihnt was ilm-
greeable to him. It is a (toud monv y<w« maa
1 hnvc <»ccn sir Wttliani, but ne wvtc onec acil
acquainted: and, if you please, Br, J will tpwA
conduct hiui lu the bouse.

J. Wt>od. Oo so, master Hawthorn, do )o—
But pray, what sort of a man is ttii» ur XViUiAw
Meadows? l» hu a wise man P

Haa:. llicm is no ocoktiuu for a mui that liat
fire thniisaiid pounds a-year, to b« a oonjitfar:
but I suppose you ask that (^nesuim, b««cwMe sf
this story about his son; taking it for ftaokA
that wtce" pnreiiu make wise diildren *

/ H'oo»i.No doubt of it, nm^^tcr l|itwthotn.i»
douhtofit — 1 warrant yiiii wr shall hud iKM,thsi
this yuun^ rascal has tulleti jn love with sotnt
minx, afEamn his fallier's cou«c-nt — Whv, ur, if
1 had as many children aa king Triam li^ ii>l
we read of ot sehoctl, in the deaCmctraa of Tny>
not niie of tliem should scrte me bO.

Haw. Well, well, iiPighlHiur, perhaps BOt;ta
we ^liuuld reiamiiber when we were young «■*
selves; and I was as tikctr to play aauU fa
such a trick iu my day, as ever a wark in tt>
hundred ; luy, between ymi and me, ihMl te
it once, hud Ibe wctwrh been b» wilting ai J.

BiCKEBSTAFF.]

BniTISII DRAMA.

AIB.

My D0II7 wu the furcst ihiag !

Ilcr brcatb dtsdosetl the sweets of spring ;

Aoil if fur sumraiT jfou would seek,

Twos painted in her eye, her check;

IJrr Kwcllinf!; boMMn, tempting ripe,

C)t' fruttrul RUtuflin wu the type :

BtiL, wlicn my teiidfr tale I told,

I found her heart waft winter ttild.

J. IToorf. All, you vere almjn a scapc-gracc
nitle-cop !

Haa. Odds heart, netghhour Woodcock, don't
tell Die! youtiR fellows will 'be vounp fcUows,
though wc preach tjll we are h(>a^:^e again; and
M> there's ao end on't.

[F.seuKt.

SCENE III.— JisrrcE Wooococil's hatt.

I
I

Enter Movct and MAncritY.

_r. So, miatreu, who let yuu in?
for. Why, I let mywlf in,

ift Indeed ! A^arrv come ap ! why, then

pray let younelf out again. TimcB ure come to
u pretty p«As ; I think you init^ht have hod the
luanncfs to LntK-k nt the door, first — What docs
the wench stand fur?

Alar. I want io know if his worship is at
boaic.

Hodge. Well, what'4 your bu^neas with his
worship?

Mur, Perhaps yoa Htil heiir thnt — Look y«,
Ilodi^cv it doe* not Bignifv tulking ; I am come,
oDoe for all, u» know w)iai you micnda to di> ;
for I won't be innde n fool of uuy longer.

Hodge. You won't f

Mar. No, ihtit'9 whnt i won't, br the bc4
man that ever wt>rc a Ucuri ; I am the iiiukr--
gwtK* of the uhule villuge upon yuur accouut;
and I'll try «*hetticr youruuLrttT(^ivci you lolcra-
lion in yttut d>»iitj;5.

i/ii«y^c You Will?"

Mif. Vc5, llint's v\hftt I will ; his worship
be actjiinintcd with hU your pranks, and ««■
yitu will likr to Iw wnt I'ur ii tiwlijitr.
Hod^e, 7 here's the diKir: tnkc a frirttd's nd-
vicc, nnd kh about your buxiiieis.

Aiar. Mv but'iiie'ts is with hi» worship; and I
won't ^ till 1 sees him.

Hodf,r. Lortk you, Madge; if yoii mate any of
your oraiion* lu-re, never fctir I I dou'l set the
daiES at yoii — WAX you Uigotie?
JJiir. I won'L
Jioiige. Uorc, Towicr ! [ Wfiiitting.] Whu, whu,

AIR.

lA^'a* ever poor feltow k> pingued with a rixcn ?
' ZMMn>< .Mud(;c don't piutukc m*-, but tuitid
Hhai i say;

Vol, lU.

You've chow ft wrong pitrson for playiog your
tricks on,
So pack up yrfor alls, nnd be inidging awny :
You'd lictter be quiet.
And not breed a riut;
^lood, must I tttaud prating with you here alli
day?
I've gnt other matters to mind ;

Mayhap vnu may think me an ass;
But to the cotittmry yuu'l) find :

A fine piece of workj by the mass 1

Enter Rossctta.

JIm. Sore I Iteard the voice of discord lierft—
as I Uv<-, iin ndinirrr of mine, nnd, if 1 tnistako
not, a rival ! — I'll huvi- muic spurt with tliem—
bijw now, felhm-servaiit. what's the maltijr?

Hwlgr. Nothing, Mrs R4»Mrtta, only thi<t young
vvomun wants to speak with bis worslup-^Madgc^
follow me.

Mttr. No, llndge, tliia is vmir line madam ;
but I am as good ilc«h and blood as slie, nnd
have as clear a skin loo, thof I mayn't go so
^ay ; and now she's Itcre, I'll tell her h piece of
roy mind.

HoJge. lIoM yoar tonpie, will you?

Mar. No, I'll spcnk, if I die for iL

Ro$. Wbut'» the mutter, I say ?

Hodge. Why nothing I tell you — Madge—

Mar. Yes, but it is something ; its all along of
she, anil she may be ashamed of licntclf.

Am. Bless me, diild, do you direct your dl»-
ciHirsc to iw: '

Mar. Yes, I do, und to nobody else ; tbere
was not a kinder soul breathing than be was till
of Into ; I had never a cross word from him till
fic kept you company; but all the prU about
siiy there is no audi thing as keeping a fcwect-
beort for you.

tint. Do you bear this, friend Hodge?

Hodfie. Why. you dou'C mind she, I hope? boC
if tluit vexes her, I do like you, I do ; iny mindi
runs uii'^n nothing else; ana if so be aa you waa
n^rceahle to it, I would marry you lo-ni(bt, be-
fore t^>-mo^rovv,

Mur. You're a nasty monkey ; you are par-

i'urcd; you know yuu bit^ and you deserve to
laTc your eyes lore out.

Hodgt, Let me cnmc at ber — 111 leiuJi you tu
c»ll names, and abuM: folk.

Mar. Do; strike me — you a man !

Rm. Hold, hokl^we sliiiU have » bnttle here
presently, and I may chance to get my cap core
olT. Never c\a.«pcnite a jealous wumnn — 'lis
taking a mad bull by tlie Ixirns — Leave me to
manage ber.

Hodge, You manaee her I 111 kick her.

Hoi. No, no, it will be more for my credit to
uet ihc t>ctier of her by fair oie4ii»— 1 vrarrant
I'll bring her to rcftsuH.

tZ

363

BRITrSH DRAMA.

fRlCKEKSTAFF.

Hod^. Well, do so ihetv— Bat taxy I depend
upori you * wlicii Uinll I "pcalc lu ihe part-in?

Rm. V\Vll tmlk of due SDUtber tiuie^Go.

Hodfie. Madge, good b^ [Km

Rot. The bratuirf of this fellow shncL^ OM
Oh man, man ! — yvu are iJl alike — A biinipkit
here, bred »t the burn-floor! hud Im- bcti
brought lip in a coort, coukl t)0 have been mon
fashionably vicjoas f shew me tht lord, '>quiri ,
cotoori, or capUin of them aJlr can out-do Uiid.

AIR.

Ccaw, envivdurcr, pride to take,

In triuinphf» o'«r ihp. 6ur;
Sinre rlijuaf. ns well can net the mkc,

A% those in higher s{iberc.

Where, llwn. to shun a sluamefut fate,

Shall iH-'Iplcss beauty e,of
In every rank, in every !^tatc,

i'oor woman 6nd5 a too.

Mar. I ani ready to burst— I can't stay in the
I place any loii]:er.

itoi. Ilold, rhild ; come hither.

JIfar. Don't »pcnk to inc. don't you !

Am. Well, but I have aoinethinp to say to you
of ronsequem-c, and iliat will be for your good ;
I suppose this fellow promiwd yoa mnrrtairc'

Mar. Aj, or he should never have prevailed
tipon me.

Rm. Well, now yoa sec the ill consequence of
trusting to such promiws : when once a man
hath ctieaied a woman of lier virtue, she has no
lotiii;er hold of hiui ; he despises her for wanting
that which be both robbed her of; and, tike a
Uislesa oonqoeror, trwtnpbs in the rain he hath
oocasianed.

Mar. Nau !

Rot. However, I hope the experieace jou
have got, thougt) aomewhat dearly purchased,
will be of use to you for the future ; and, as to
nuy designs I hasp upon the heart of your lover,
vou may make yourself ca«y ; fur, I asaure yo«i,
1 &hall l>c tio dntigcrous rival; so go your wars,
and l>ea pood girl. [Erit.

Mar. Ves — 1 d«»n*t very welt undiT«hiiHl hc-r
talk, but I suppose that's as much as to say she'll
keep him berUlf; well let her, who cares? I
don t fear gcltioK better nor he is any day of tlie
year, for the matter of tliat ; ana I have a
thuu)^ coroc mt/i tny head that, may be, will be
more to my adruutu{;c.

Ain.

Since Hodge proves ungrateful, do furilier 111

seek.
Bat go up to the town in the waggon nest week;
A sen'ice in I^ndnn ih no well diBgrace,
Aifi Register's office will get me a place :

'Wt Blussoni went there, and sooo met wttJi a

friend ;
Kolks hay in tier silks she's now standing an end *
I hen why should nut 1 llie tame noasini pursue.
And better my fortune as other girls do '

[Eiit.

SCENE IV.

Ufl/er RosSLTTA and Lucimoa.

Ro$, lla, ha, lia ! Ob admirable, most ddec-
rnljly ridiculous 1 And so your father is cootcni
nc siiuuld be a music-master, and will hmre him
•urh, in spite of all your aunC can say 10 the

cinUrury ?

LucS My father and be, child, are the bes<
conipaniom you ever saw - and have bemi nofin;
•u^ether the uiuM hideous duf ts ! [tobbiog Joan,
and Old Sir Simun tlic king : IJeaveu knows
Urhcre Kiistnce could pick thcto up ; bai be his
cnne through half the conten ta of PiUs v: purjte
^k-taucholy with him.

Rot. And have you resfdred to tak* wing tJ>
night ?

Luc. This very nicht, my dear ; tnj swain will
CO frfun hence tiiis eteniiis, hut no farther tbM
the inn, where he ha» left his boraes; and. at
twelve precisely, he will be with a post-chatse at
the little fintc that open:, from thr lawn into tbe
road, where I have promised to ninet him.

Rai. Then depend upon il, I'll bear you ooa-
paiiy.

Luc. We shall slip out nhen ttic family art
asleep, and I have prepared llodg« alrcadf-
Welt, I hope we «hall be nappy.

Roi. Never doubt it.

AIR.

In lore should iJierc meet a fontl pair,

Untutored by fashion or an;
WhnM> wiitlies nre wurm and sincere.

Whose wurds are th'eiofsa of tbe I

If au^ht of substantial delight.

On tins 4kde the stars can be fooml,

Tis sure when that couple yuitc.
And Cupid by Uyrscn is cronned.

Enter Hju'tuor^.

/fow, Lucy, where jirc you f

Lut. Your pleasure, sir.^

Ra%. Mr Hawthorn* your servant.

Haw. Wtmt, my hltlc nater-wasiait!— Tlir
very couple I wisIwhI to meet : come hill»rr balk
of you.

Kitt. Nowj tir, what would jou tay id boibi'
us?

Heu, Why, let me look at yoa a litde— kff*
you gilt on your best gownn, and vour best fiR»'
If uot, gu and trick yourselves out dirtctly, i^

IhcKBHSTAFP.]

BRITISH PRAMA.

SQS

I

ni tell ])OD a secret — there will be ■ voun^
bachelor m die house, within thc«e three hours
thai tnmy fnll lo iho »hnrc of one n( vuii, if ^u
look sliarp — but whether mistress or trniid

Rot. Ay, marry, this is wmethiDi* : t>at hun
60 Tou knuw whether cither roiMress or maift
trjjl think him wurlb iiccepiance f

liaa\ Follow me, folluw mc ; I warrant you.

Luc. I ran iiA4ure yoUy Mr ilnnttiorn, I mil
verr diiTicult to plcate.

U04. And so am 1, sir.

Htm, Iade«J !

Am.

WcU come, let us hear what tlie swain must pof-

se&s.
Who mar hope at your feet to implore with

Mm. He must l>e, 6rst of all,

Stroieht, eomcly, and tall :
£mc. Neither aukwardf

Lur.

Rot.
Him).
Rot.
Liu

Nor foiUiah,
Nor apish.
Nor molisii ;

! Nor yet slioutd his fortune be sniall.

What think'st of a eaptato?
A)l blH9ter and wouimIs 1
Wliat think'st of a 'wtoire?
To be left fur hia huundi.
. 'Ilie youth tliat i» r<^niie(| to my mutd,
I Mum Ik eeiiile, obli*^iii); and kind :
s. Of all tUini;^ in nature love me ;
[ liave H:Dse both to speak, and to see; :
y Yet vtinptinifs be silent and bliiKJ.
'Fore Geon^ a isoiit rare matrimonial
receipt ;
^ Observe it^ ye fair^ ia the choice of a

■Date:

I fCcaicmber, 'tis wedlock dctennifies
jonr fate.

[l^ri-Mf.

ACT ni.

SCENE V—A parlour in Justice Woodcock's
houu.

£nttr SiK WiLLtAH Mtadows, /oilatcal hy

tiAttTUOnV.

Sir WU. Wkli, this is excellent : ihiii !■.
mighty good ; this is loifrbty merrv, faith ! ha, ha,
h» ! WHS crer ilic like heard of? lliat my Itov,
Tom, ahimid rnn away from nic. fir fear of ht-
ing rofce<l to mnrry n girl be oever saw f that
she should scamper from her father, fur fenr ol
bein^ forced (o mnrrr bim ; nnd ihal they hliould
run into ooe anutlicr'i arms tlii^ way in di»>
guiwr, by mere accident : a^aiii^t their coasents
mud withuut kni^rwicijE it, a«a b<idy may 6ay ! May
I uever do an ill turn, master lUwthurn. if it is

aot one of the oddest adventures partly

Hmf. Whv, sir VVilliam, it i» a nnnance; a

novd ; a picauuitcr history bv half, ihiin the

loves of Dnrm^tus and Kaunin: we ^uill hnvr

I bkllMl^ inwic nf it within thew! twn months, t^"-

' fang fotth, bow a young 'iniurc became a seninu

man of low degree ; and it will l>e stuck up

Isrich Margaret's Ghost and the SpaniAb Ladv
sfBiflst the walls of every cottage in the couit-
Sir Wil. But what pleases me best of all, rnai^-
trr llawiliont, i« the ini^eniiity ol' the Kirl. Mav
I aeter du an ill tuiu, when I was called out ol
the riKifn. and tltc ser^'ant raid sJie wanted Ut spea«.
to tB€f if I knew whnt tn make mi't : but wIh-u
iIm little gipM.-y took me aside, and told me her
aaow. ind now matters stood, I «as quite &»•
MtmmhmA, a« a boily may say ; ami could nut Itc-
Mjhree it partly ; 'till beryouni; fricrnl tliat bbe is

with berv, Rwir«d me of the troth on*i : Indeed
at luit, 1 be^nn to recollect her fsoe, thi>ittb I
have not set eves on her before, since ^e was
i'»e height of a fiill-«mwii grey- bound.

Htiw. Well, sir William, yourson, nsyet,knows
iKiihing of what has bap{>eiied, nur of ynur ttciiig
4.-<ime hither; and. if you'll follow uiy couinel,
we'll have snmp sptjrt with liiiu. — He and his
mifttreas were to meet in the garden (his trremiig
Ky appointment ; ^e'5 koik- u» dre*^ iM-rsdf in all
icr airs; will you let tue direct your |>rocee<(>
ing-' in this nfTnir ?

Sir Wil. Witli all my heart, master Hawthorn,
witli all mv heart ; du whnt you will with lue. say
what vtiu picate fur me ; I am s<> overjoyed, at>d
w happy — And may 1 iKrver du lui ill turn, but
I am very glad to see you too ; ny, and partly as
much pleased at that as any thing else; for we
tavB bei'ii merry tngrtlter hcforn now, when wo
Mere some veon younger : Well, and bow has the
<«orld gr>ne with von. mn&ter Hawthorn, since we
«aw one another last p

HiiK>. Why, preltv welt, tir William; I have
no reason lo complain : e^ery cne has a mit'ure
if sour with his «wceta: but, in the main, I be-
lieve, I have dooe in a degree as tolerably as my
•neighbours.

AIR.

The world is a well furnished taUft,
Where Kucsts are pnMnt-iC'oiisly set ;

We nil fare an well as wc'ie aUe,
And scramble for what we can gett

Mv Mniile holds to a tittle,
Soiuc goq[e, while some scarce have a tasle ;

564

BRITISH DRAMA.

[BiCKBBSTArp.

Gut if Tin content with a little^
Enough \h OS gaud as ti Teast.

EMer RossfiTTA.

Ros. Sir Williara, I br 5 pardon fi»r Hetainini;
j-ou ; htit I have had so much dilHculty iu ndjo»-

[ lug my Itorrowcd plumes

Sir Wif. May 1 never do an Ul torn bat they
fii yoii to a T, and you I'jok very well, 30 you do:
Cockft-bonea, how your t'nlhor will chudde wbon
he cxnoci lo hear ihi* ! — Ilcr faihtr, inaAier
Hawthorn, n a« w-orthy n man ns hves liy
lirenil, and has hfcn almost out of his M'nM-s
for the loss of her— — Bm tell me, hussy, has
imt tliii been all a M-lieme, a pu-** uf cimjuni-
tion Lclwcc-n you and my son ? Faith, I ani luilf
persuaded it has, it looks ao Ukc Ur>ciivpocu», nit
u body limy uiy.

Hat. t'pon my honour, «ir VVilltam, »tiat has
happened, has been the mere elVcct of chance;
3 ram*; hithrr nnknown to your son. nnd lie 00-
](nowii lii mc : I never in the le&st suspected that
Thomas the gardener was other than hif appear*
ancc »pnke htm ; ttnd, least of all, that he wa« n
ucrwn with vthoni I had su c\uie a connecliini.
jMr Hawthorn can testify the aatonitilunent I was
in, when he fii<'t infunued me of it ; but 1 thou'lit
it wnn my duty u, curoe to on immediate ex*
planntinn witli you.

Sir 1(7/. Is not »hc a neat wench, master Hnw-
thorn f May I never do an ill tLiru but she is
But, you liitLc placuy devil, how cauie this love
affiur between rou f

Rot. I have told you the whole truth very iii-
cenaously, sir : since your son and I hnve been
fellow-wrraois, as I may call it, in this boose, 1
bare had more than reason to snnpect Itc hod
tuketi a likmg to me ; and I will uwn witli
cxpial frankness, had I not looked upon him
as a person so much below me, I sJmuld have
had no ohit-ction to receiviLi^ Un courtkhip.

Han:. Well snid,'by the lord llarry I all above
bonnt, fair nnd open.

Rat. Perhaps I may be censured by some
for this candiu decltirntlon ; but 1 love to speak
my scntimi'iits; and I ;iiiMire ynu, -lir Willjnm,
in my opinion, I should [lertcr u imrdencr, witli
your 9on*« pood qualities, to a knight of the shin;
without ilieu.

AIR.

Tis not wenltli, it is not birth,

Can value to the soul cnuvcyt
Mmd4 possess superior worth,

Which chsuce nor E:ivi>9, nor takes away,
like the stin true merit shews;

Rv nature warm, by nature bright;
With inbred dames he nollv plows,

Nor needs the aid of borrowed Ughu

Hate. Well, but, ttr, we lose time- — is oot
thi-s abrml the hour uppjiatcd to meet in the
garden ?

Ron. Pretty r>car iL

Hate. Oo«is then, what do we stay for? Ca
mv i>ld friend, cumo al»ii^, and, by the 1
\\c will consult huw to luauo^e your to
view.

Sir WiL Ay, but I must i^ieak a word or
two to my man about the borsca first, [fraal.

SCENE n.

Enter RoasiriTA, and Hodoe.

Jiirt. Well — What's the buiniiesH ?

Hwlge. Madam — Mercy on us, 1 cnnre p■^
don !

RiK. Why, Hodje, don't you know me?

Hodye. Mrs Ko!>sctta !

lifit. Ay,

Hoi/pe. Know you ! ecod I don't know »hr-
Ihcr I do or not : never stir, if I did not tliiuk it
was some lady belon;;in^ tu the strange geulr*
lolkfa : why, you bc'nt dizrned this way In go to
the statute dance prewnlly, Im: you }

Rot. Have patience, aiid voull fire : — bm ii
there any thing aiuias tliat you came m su abnpt*
ly?

Hodge. Amiss ! why there's nunaliofk

Rill. How ? .where *

Hodge. Why, with Miss Ijiciiulii ■- her aoM
has catchfd nhe and th« f^cntlpmwi above sUcv
and mer-heard all their love discourse.

Rot. You don't soy »<> !

Hodge. Kc<id, ] had like to hare pofpei a
niuonf; them this instant ; but, by ^ood ludk, I
heard Mrs Debond/ft voKc, and run inwuaffOB,
as fiisl iiA ever my Ir^s could carry me.

Rot. Is vour master in the hooK }

Htttse. What, liis wurship ! no, na^ bf a
^ne uito the fields to tulk with the Tcapcniid
people.

i^tij. Pimr T^cinda, t wi&b I cooJd p> <?
to ber, but I am su ci^^cd with toy vnaai-
fairs

Hinfgr. Mistress Rossetta.

Rit. Well.

Hodge. iiiliU bobe, I must bare one maA •'

yotir swi-et lips]!

Rot. Oh stand oS, you kuow I new tlv*
liberties.

Hodge. Nayt but why mi coy i* there's revwa
roosting of^gs; 1 would not deny yoM mA •
tlune.

Ros. That's kind : ba, ba, ha !— Bdi whtf •dl
become of Lucinda f Sir Wtlliam wnts for mt,
1 mu%c be ptJite. Frirnrisbip, a tDomcnt hf T^
leave: ycf, as oar suirerirry*. bnvr bt«B miM
in shall Qurjnys ; I already jowr the uilniiilliW
of all former jmins and auueiieSb

|. Bici

I

I

BiCKERBTAFF.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

AIR.

The tTBvclkr benighted,

AM led ihrougli weary ways,

The iKmp of day new lighluH,
Wilhjoy the dawn auneys.

The ming prospects viewing,
Eadi luuit H fonvard aist;

He «mi]c», his course pursuing,
Nor Uiiuks of vthut i» past.

[Rrit.

Bodge. Hist, aUy ! don't I hear a Doise?

Lttf. [Wilkin.] Well, but dear, dear auiil

Airt ueh. [ II if Aiit.] You fititd not 6peak to
nw. for it dors not signify.

Hodgf. AdwhMrns, ib«y areconunj»h«re! ccod
Til get out of the ;way — Murrain take it, iht»
door ii boltcMl now — So, so,

Eitler Mas UtaoRAU Woodcock.

Mn Ikh: Get along, i;et along! [Driving in
JjCciSDA trfort her.] you arc a 9<-nttdal to ttte
CHune of \Vt>odcock ; hut I was rcMilvcd to find
you out, for I hare suivpcrtMl you a great while,
cJM>u|;h ^ur fatb<.T> dilly man, will have you such
K poor innticcnt.

jMe. What ^allldof

Mr§ Del: I was determined to discover what
yoo and your pretended niusioniasterwerc utiout,
And lay in wait on purpose. 1 bcliovc'hc ili'jught
lo efcape me, fay slipping into the cloect when I
Icoocked at the door; but 1 was even with him,
for now I ha%'e him under lock and key, and,

£ lease tlic falcs, tlierc lie shall remain till yuur
ither coioes in -. I will cun%'iDcc bim of his
error, whether hr will nr not.

Luc. You won't be »o cruel, I am sure you
woti't. I ihoufiht I had made you my friciid by
leiline you ihi> truth.

Afrt Deh. Telling; me the trutfi, quolhn ! did I
not oTcr-hear your scliemc of runnm^; awny to
ntghc, through the partition } did not I find the
very bundles pnciied up in the room with v<iii,
fisady for ^oio^ olt ? No, brawnfticc, 1 found
oat ate truth by my mvn sngscity, though your
father sayt I am n hwl; hut now we'll ho juIlRvd

who is the crcaieit. And you, ilr Ka^ral, my

brother »luill know^ what an honest servant be
hai« e<>t.

liojgf. Madam !

ATm Dfh. You were to have been nidin^ and
■anUiti; litem in their c»cap<', and hnve been
ihc KO-between, it seems, the letter-carrier !

IloJgr. Who. roe. madam ?

Mn Deb. Yes, yoir, lirmli.

BoJ^. Miss Liicinda, did I e\-er carry a let-
r for you ? m make my aSidavy bclbrc his
itonbip—

JIfrs Deb. Go, go, you are a villain ; hold your
tongue.

Lite. I own, aunt, I have been very faoltjr
in this affair ; I don't' pretend to excuse my
self; but wc are all subject to frailties; con-
sider lliat, and judge of me by yourself; yon
were uocc young, and inexperienced as I am.

AlA.

If ei-er a fond inclination

lio^ in your bo»om to rob you of rest.
Reflect with a little compsssioo.

On tJie soft pang!i,whirfi prevailed inmyfareasC
Oh where, where would you liy mc?

Can you deny me, thus torn and distrest?
Ttitnk, when my lover was by me,

Would I, how could 1, refuse his request f
Kneeling before you, let mc implore you;

Look on me tighing, cr^-inijj dying;
.\h ! is there no laiiguasc caa move?
If I have been Too compUing,
Hard was the conflict 'tnixt duty and lore.

Jlfri Deb. This is mii^hty pretty romantio
stuff! but you learn it out of your play-books
mid novels. GirU in my time liad other employ-
ments. We worked at our needles, and kept our-
selves from idle tlimighu : before I was your
nee, 1 bad lini&hed with my own tin|j;crs a com-
plete set of chairs, and a tire-screen in tent
stucli; four counterpunes in Murfi«illf» ()uilting;
nnd the creed and the ten cumnmiidmetits. intbc
hair of our family : it was fr^imed and glazed,
and hung over the parlour chimney-piece, and
your poor dear grandfather was pr<mder of it
than of e'er a picture in his house. I never look-
ed into a book, but when I said my pmyt-rB, ex-
cept it was the Cnmpleto House-wife, or tl)e
great family receipt-book : whereas you are al*
wayn at your Btudies! Ah, I never knew a wo-
man come to good, tliat was fond of readin|;.

Luc. Well, pray, madam, let me prevail on
yod to give me the key to let Mr Ra^tace out,
and I pmmisr, I never will procerd a step far-
ther In this business, withont yoor advice and
)ipprob»llim.

.\frs lieh. Have not I Inid yem already my re-
solution ? — Where ara lov clogs and my bonnet f
I'll i^o out to mv brother m the fields ; I'lo a foot,
yon know, chiici; now Jct'«»eewhai the wiu will

tlunk of ibeuuelves Uon't hold me

[Bxii,

Luc. Tm not ^oing ; — I have thought ofa way
to bi! cvtn with you, so you may do as you
pleuse. [Erit,

Hodge. Well, I thought it would come to this,
I'll he shot if f didn't — So. Ihtc's a fiito job— But
what can iheydo tome? — They can't send mc to
jail for carrying a letter, scein*; ilicrt; wa» no
trcflMin in it; and bow was 1 obligated to know

366

BRITISH DRAMA.

[BlCKERSTl

my imister did not itllniv of their mMtin^?

The wurtt U>ev can d'l, is to turn me iiff, and I

ant sure tlK> pfnce i» no sucli grt^t p(irchn4c

indeed, 1 bhuuld be sorry to leave Sin Uo9«eita,

fleeing w hovr mnttere are &u near bting bruuglti

to an end l>et«ixt us; but she and I tuny kerp

.company all ta ooe ; aitd I &ad Mad^e ha& been

rikiriK nriiti Goffer Brondwhccls the was;pnncr,
ut Iter carriage up to Lundmi : sn tliai I lisre
[ got rid oT the, and I am sure I have reo-vjii tu be
main glad of it, for she led mr a wcurisoine life
—But tiiat's die way of tbem all.

AIB.

A plagoe o** tHoM weaches, they make such a
pother.
When once they hare Iet*a a man have his
will;
Th«/rc always a witintng ri>r something or
oihcr,
And cTv he's unkiitd in hi)^ carrii^^r,
WhiH llni (" he »peiik« llu'in ne'ur »o lairly,
Stilt they keep tetuitit:, leuzini; on :
You cannot persuade 'em
*llll pr*>ini^e you're made 'em :
And a^r they've gut it,

They tell you add nit it,

Thturdiai^-ter'Kbliisteti, they're mined, undone :
Aud then ii> be sure, !iir.
There i» bnt one cure, air,
And all their discount' is of marriage.

[Exit.

SCENE IV.— ^ GrtenhotiK.

EaUr Yot?KG Meadows.

Toung Mm. I am glad I had the nrtvauiinn
to bring tliis suit v( cluthc^ in my bundle, diuuf-li
I hardly kiiuw niy9'>lf in them a^n. they appear
so strange, and leel bo unweiUly. However, my
gardener's jacket goes on no more. — I woinler
tiiis girl doeit not come [Looking at Aii ndfrA.] :
perliap she won't citmt — Why then I'll go into
the Tillaee, take a poHchai^e, and depart witliuut
any farther ceremony.

AIR.

How fauch tuperior beauty awes,

The coldest bosoms find;
But with resistleu force it draws.

To >en»e and swoetneMJoioed.
The cadiCt, where, to outward ihew,

Tlie workman's art is wen,
lb donhly valued, when wc know

It holds a gem within.

lUrk ! tlx comes !

fafcrSiaWiLiTAW Meadows oiMJ Uawtvokv.

ConlusioD ! My father! What can this raean?

Sir Hi/. Tom, are not yo« a sad boy. Too, to
bring me a hundred and forty miles here^May I
never du an ill turn, but you deserve to hata
vour head broke; and [ liave a good miud, part-
ly— What, »irnth, don't you think it worth yow
while to spcuk to me f

Voitng, Mea. Foqpve me, sir; I own I bare
been in n fnalt.

Sir IViL In a fault ! to run away from me be>
cause I was eoini: to do you guod — Iblay I antr
do an ill turn, Master Uawthom, if 1 did nut pick
out aK ^nc a i^irl lor liini, partly, as any in £a^
land! And tlic rasi-al run away froai mc,
mme hi-re, and turned (|;ardcncr. And pmy,1
did yoo propf»i* to yuur»eif, Tom ? I know
were alw~^y^ loud of hutaiiy. as they call it
you intciul Ui kocp the trailc going, and ■
lise fruit'trer*' and Aowcring-^rubs, to be had u
Mtadows*^ nur»iTT '

Hmt: No. iir Wdliam, I apprrhciid the yoon;
i:entlemnn dcfiiincd to iny by the pruleuiimr fut
he hn> quitted the liaUt alrrady.

Young Mfit. I ain su aj»tonished to m you
here, lir, that I don't know what to miv; Imi 1
assure you, if you had not coiuc, I should tut*
returned lioute to you directly. Prajr» mt, how
did viia find me out ?

Str l\V. Xii mailer. Turn, no matter : it wM
partly by accident, a& a bi.'dy may nuy ; but what
does that signify^ — tt^ll me, buy, huw stands;
stomach towards mnlnmnny ? do yt^u think'
could dicest a *»ife now?

Youa^ Mea. Fray, iir, don't mention it; I
shall always behave mvsclf as a dutiful wfl
ought ; 1 will neii'er marry witltout vour coujent,
und I bo|>c you w<»n'L fotce roe to do it a^poA
luy o»n.

Sir Wii Is not this migltty provoking noiar
llnwilioni ? Whr, urrali, did yua ever see tbt h^
dy I designed for you ?

Younf: Mea. Sir, I don't dou)>t tlie lady'sar
ril ; but, at present, I am not disposed

Han: Nay, but, yuuu|t gentkman, fair ■■'
sofUy ; you should pay some retpect to youi ^
tber in this nintter.

Str t\il. Itfspect, muster Hawthorn I I >l
you he shall uiarrv her, or I'll disinbcril tH*-
thcre's once. Look you, Tom, not tu niaki ■>!
more words of tfvc matter. I have brong^ ^
ladr here v^itli mc, and III >ee you cootncn^
before we part; or you shall delve and pluta^
cumbers as long ns you liir.

I'oua^ JUra. Have you brought the kdy hot
sir ? I am sorry for ii.

5ir II J7. Why sorry * What, then, yoa tm^
morry her? We'll see that * Pray, maacr lU^
thorn, conduct the Irur one in. Ay, air, you n*.*

BlCKERSTAFF.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

i^

fret, and (laoce nbout, trot at the rate of fifteen
miles an hour, if yov jilcaftc ; but, WHiry whiji mci
I'm resolved.

Enter Rossetta.

JJtm. l!«re U the lidv, air William.

&V in/. Come in, miulain, but turn your face
frmu him — be would nut marry you, because he
liod nut Men tuu : but I'll let him kuow my
choice ^liall be liis, nud he shiiil ooiiwot to mnr-
ry you beforr he sees you, or not an acre of cs-
UUe^Pray, sir, i*oIlt tins «ay.

Koufl^ jSfru. Sir, I taiinut l>clp lluntin^ your
coimJucc a little extraordmnrv ; but, since vou
urv;e me so cloHrly, I must lell yoo my nOcctiutts
Mm eni^nKcd.

&r Hi/. Ilnw, Tom, how !

Yjuiiff Mea. I Win di-tcniiined, sir, tn hnve
got tUc better <^t' mr incUimiion, Htid utTcr h:ive
done a tiling winch I knew \Tould be diKigrcciiblc
ta yuu.

Sir 11"*/. And pray, sir, who kre your afTectionii
CflfUkgcd to ? Let inc know that.

}'f>MM^ Mea. I'o a person, sir, whose rank aiiH
fortuDC may be no recuinmrndHlions to her; but
whose c1inrui5 and iiccum)tli»limcnta ciilide her
to a muiiwx'h. I am sorry, sir, it's itn}jiissibl(*
for me lu cuiuply with yuur comfnunds and I
Itope you wiU nut be olTcfMled if I quit yuur pre-
•encc.

Sir Wil Not I, not in the least: go about
jour buuneu.

Youvg Met. Sir» t obc^.

Jitm. Now, mndnm. is the time.
p [Ros. tidvancny Youyc Mca. turns rountt

^■^ *Hti tett iter.

9^

AIR.

Km. When we s*e o Iwer langiush,

And his truth nnd Ivmnnr |»roTe,
Ah ! Inw Hwcct ■'> huil his tmi^isb,
And repny him tove fitr love.

Well, Tom, will yon go away front

ftbw. Perhaps, sir William, your »ou dorv m>t
like the l»dy; and, if w, pray'dun't put u force
iipnii lii% inclinaiiim.

)'(Miji^ Mea, \'oa ncod not have taken this
vnethod, wr, to lei me Mc you nre aci{uiiiutcd
9kth mr folly, whnlevcr ray inclinnlioiis arc.

Sir H'U. Wclh but, Tom, suppose I pve my
consent lo yout marrying this youtig wamnu ?

young Mea. Your omectit, sir?

JI<M. Come, bir Wilhain. we hiivc carried the
-rrt far riufiii^h . I sec your son is in a kind of
embfuraasinciit, and I don't wonder nt it; but
Cfal« leuer, which I rr«viv«d from htm n fcwd.iy*
hmforc I left my lailii-r'a house, will, I apfVe-

' id, £X|)ound the rtfJdlc. He cannot be sur-

pri}c<l that I ran away from a gcnilomnn who
txprvMcd Mi much dialikc cn me ; mid whiU has
happened, »iuCL- chance bus bruuglit ns together
in mosauenide^ iltcrc i? no occasion forme lo in-
t'uria liini of.

Vtrntie Men. What is oil this? Pray don't
make a jest o( mc !^ J

Sir Hi/. May I never do an ill turn, Totn, if '
it IK not truth ! this is my friend's daughter.

i'uuufi Mca. air \

Rot. Even 50 ; 'tis very true, indeed. In short,
you have not been a m(ir<> nhimMciil Kentleinun,
than I have a gentlrnoman ; but yuu bCC wc ate
desiKUcd fur one anoUiert 'lis plain.

Yuunff Mca. I know iiui, mnclam, what I ^■>
ther hear or see; a thousand thinifv art: crowd-
ing on my iniiigination ; while, like one just awa-
kened from n dream, I donbt which is reality,
»hir!li tU'hi*iiiin.

Sir If'iX Well, then, Tom, oomc into the air a
bit. niKl recover youreelf.

Young Mca. Nay, dear sir, have a little [m-
tieiicr ; do you give Iwt to nie ?

Sir Iff/. Gi\t her to you I ay, chat I do, and
my bltrssiuK into the bbreoin.

Young Mta. Hicn, sir, I Am tite happiett mnn
in the worlil ! 1 enfiiiiri' no fartht-r ; here I Hx
the uttnoM limits u( lu v hopes and happiness.

AlU.

Young Mea. All I wish in her obtninine.

Fortune can no more impart :

Rm. Let my eye*, injr thou^^hbi eu

'pla'miuR,

Speak i]i« feelings of my hi^art.

YuHitg; Mea. Joy and pleasure iwvcr rvasing,

Jioi. ijivo Mith Icu^th of years in-

crcasiii);,
Tfvzether. Titus my heart and hand nirrrn-
dcr,
Here my faith and truth I .

plight ;
Coufitant Biill, and Icint), 8nA|
tender ,

Way our flames bum ertr^
bright J

Hiia\ flive vmi jov, sir ; and yno, fair Ia<ly—
And, under favour, I'll salute you too, if there'*
no fear of jenl'wsy.

Yovitf; iUa. And may I believe this? Prithee
ti-Il loe, tk-ar Koftctia!

Rot. Step into the house, atid Vll tell yoo
every thing; I must inireat the ^ood office^ rif
^ir William and Mr Ilawtlinni, imuieilinitly ; for
I am in the utmost uncnsineM about my poor
friend, l^nmln.

Hfaif. Why, what's the raattpr?
Riit. I don't know ; but I have rcawm to fear
1 left her. just now, in very disncrecahlc circuni-
Manccs ; however, 1 liope, if there's ativ misrhicf
Inllca out between liir titihcr uml her iuvcr—

Have. Tbe muiic-m aster ! I lliouE;ht so.

Sir \Vi(. WIml. IS llii'rc u lover iii Uie cum.'?
fny I never do tui ill luriif but 1 mn ^Ind, •»a I
am ! for we'll iiitikc a double wcddin£ ; nnd, by
war of cclclimtitie il, uikr a trip Lo London, t»
felicvir liie Kiidi;« MUk! »( the plea^urcft u( tlic
town. AikI. Master llawtbom, yuu shall be of
iJm: pnrty — t'umc, diildrcn, i;o before us.

fiiiK. Ttuuik you, sir Wiltintii ; I'll ef* into the
IiDuw wirli yoii, ami Ki Hiurch tu mv (lie yiiung
foiki tnarricd ; but as to Luodoii^ I'Jieg tu oe ex-
cused.

Allt

If ever Tin catched io those regions of smoke.

That w-iH ttfujntusioii and nnise,
Muy 1 iie'cr kitaw tlic swcdi of a klumbcr un-
brokf,
Nor the pleas'jro the country eiyoyi.
Nay uKMV, let litem take me^ to punish my
sn.
Wlierc. i^pinp. the coclinics they fleece,
('Uip mc iiu Willi tlicir moiiscerA, cry, nia&ters
walk in,
And fttievr mc for twopence o-picce.

[Esrunt.

SCENE U.— JtisTici: Woodcock's hall.

Fntcr JcrsTicK Wo'iprocR, Mr9 DmonAii
WoobcocK, LL'ciNbA,KvffT4ce,fm(iI]uDut.

Mrs Dtt>. Why, broriirr, do ynn (hiiik I mn't
licar, or sec, or iiuikc um: of inv sciik^? 1 ii-II
yuii, I left (hnt I'elluw lurkcl up tu lii-r cinwt;
anri, whilu 1 Imre iK-en wtiti yuu, titey )i»ic broke
open the d<ior, and Kut him onl n>:nin.

J. Wood. Well, you bcur uhat ihcy say?

Mrs Dch. I karc mil wliai they sty; it's you

cncounuie tlicm in tlicir imputlL-act- llarkV,

hussy, w'\\l you fticc uie duwu that I did nut lock
die telluw np?

Luc. itcally, aunt, 1 don't know wimi you
mean; when you talk iiitvliigibly, 1"A uu&wcr
you.

Eus. Soriitiislvt roadmn, this » fsrrying tlit;
jcst a little too far.

ifr$ Deb. W^lIll^ then, I did not catch you
tugctlicr ill iitT cIiuiuIkt, it.ir uvcriHrar yonr du-
lign of guiaj: olf lo-nightr nor lind Ute Luudlcii
packed up

Eut. llii,lia,lia!

Luc. Why, nunt, you rave !

Mrs Hefi. Brother, lu t nm a ChriftUon wo-
man, hJie Confessed the wliulc utiitir tu me fruin
tint to liut; itud, in tlii'i vrrv plact, wab duwii
upon her marrow-bones tor halt' nn hour logcs
tbcr, tu Ik'c I would coiirfal ii from yuu.

IMfic. i) Lord : 9 Lord !

ifn D'l: What, sirrah, would you brazen mc
Cao ? Take ihat ! [ ISoja kirn.

Hodgf. I wisli T<>u wouk) keep your hand* to
yourself! yon stnliC me, because yon have been
rcllinc )iij woffhip stories.

/ Wotrd. \Vhy, *i»tcr, you arr tipsy ! ^

Mr» i)t-l>. t ti)i»y, brother ! I — ihafSever
touch n drup of any ihiuK •Attn\% from yea(*j eo<l
to ycnr'» end ; but now and then a Utile mrnberd
water, wiicii I hnvr f>nt the colic.

hu€. Well, auot, voD have been compbiinin:
of the «iiini]u*h-ach nil day; and may have laieu
too ptittrrful n dose of your cordial.

J. Wiiofi. Lome, come, I sec well ciMo^ bow
it is : ihiB i« a Ih.- of her own iii^cntitin, ti3 make
herselfnppearwiM:: but,yuu«uipleton ! did TCtt
nut know I niuH find you out ?

£r/ct Sin Wii.t lAU MtAUows, IIawtuoek,
RoaiicrTA, and Yuuvo Meadows.

Young Mea. I)le»me, air! Look wboi«y«iK
der!

Sir WiL Cocksbones, Jack ! honest Jack, nic

you there ?

I'm. I'higue on't, tins reuconotcr i% unlucky
Sir William, vour scn-ant.

Sir IVil. ^ our servant a^n ; atu) niEain, heart-
ily vour wrvaiil; may I never do an Ul inm, but
I am elod to meet yuu !

J. Wood. Pray, sir Williaci, are you
ed with thi*4 (lertonP

.Si> W'lL Wtiai, with Jack P.nstocc ! wb'
inv kinsman : hit iiioiher and I wrrr ooosin-
mans once rcimtvcd, imd Jack'a n very
yiinri£ IVlluw ; muy I itcvcrdoau ill turn If I

« nrinl !}( a lie.

/. IViwi. Witll. but, sir Wiltiom. let tiir trlt
you, yuu know nuiliing of the matter. Tht» aim
is a mu^iL-inastrr; a ihrumiikcr of wire, Bi.d a
Krajwr uf cat-gut, and tendica tny ilaughtcr (••
niiii;.

Sir WiL What, Jack Enstace ■ inuw-niasle I
No, nn; I know liiiu belter.

Kilt, 'Sdcith. why should I attempt to ranj
on thn absurd fan-v miy longer— ^Wfaat fkat
gc-iitlcninn IcIU vou is very Uiie, ur: I am W
mu!tic<mii^itT, indeed.

/ WintJ. Vuu ure not? yuo owit it, thenf

£ua, \»y mure, sir ; I ain, a* tiiix lad v has re*
pM:*cuicd me — [PuinttMi; to .Mns Dtin.]— to*
daiigfhlcr's lover; nliom, with her own cor.?mri;
I did inteud to have carried otT this iiiehi; bat
now that sir Wiltiani Meadows i» hcie, totcll foa
«li-». Hod what I am. I throw myself upon watf
treneroMiy, from which I e\(tect prml«r aortft-
Ucfi iliTtn I coulil rrrtp frota any impeutiai at
ynur iin>iinipii:ioiis naiuri'.

jWm Deft. Well, bniiher, what hare yoa «
sav for yijurjielf now? You have iiindv a precMW
dsiv'« work uf it ! Uad my adiicc bi-en tak«ar
(Jli. I ;ini ftshainetl uf yon ! but you ars a w«at
man, uitd il can't bo hi-lped ; however, jt«
»houtil Icl wiser beads direct you.

t

Xhc. Dear papa, fmrdon mc.

Sir WU. Ay, do, ur, foivive her ; my cousin
Jack win make ber a good hu^bnnd, nfuntwer
for it.

itof. Staod out of tftu war, nnd let me apeak
two or liu«t wordb to bis vrumliip. Cuine, my
demr sir, though jou refuse all the worlil, I am
turc you cnii dcn)^ me nulhiiig : love id a venial

fault You know wliat I nieiui ? Be recou-

Ciled to your daughter, I ronjure ynu, by the

imrmorv of" our pint aflcclioiis What: nut

a wotui

AIR.

Go, imuchty man ! I can'i abide you ;

Are then our vow& wt tnon furgot f
Ah ! now I sec if I bad tried vnu.

What would have t»een my hopeful tot !

But b«re I charge ynu — make them happy;

BleM (he fund pair, and crown their bliu:
Come, be a dear, good-ooturcd pappy.

And 111 reward you with n Wisa,

Itiri Deb. Come, turn out of the house, and
be thankful that my brotbrr diies nut hang you,
for he oiulddu it; Iw'ft uju&ticeof jk-klc; titni
cue uf Ute hou>e» I say !

J. Wood. Wito gave you authority to turn him
out of the buiiw t — Hr &tull stay where be la.

JUr< Dth. He khun't marry my niece.

J. Wood. Shan't he? but I'll >hew you the dif-
fercDCC now; I lay, he Uiall marry her, nod what
will you do itbout it f

Mn Deb. Atkd you will give hitn your estate
toOi will you ?

JL Wood, Yet, I will.

Un Deb. Why, I*m wrc beN a itipibood.

J. Wood. I like bim the better; 1 would have
him a vftpibond.

Aira Ihb. Brother, brother!

Ham. Cone, come, inadanu all'^ very well ;
■od I aee my i»-ighbaur \i what I always thought
him, a man of scosc and prudence.

Str WU, May I never do an ill turn, hut I say

BRITISH DRAMA.

J. Wood. Here, young fellow, toke my dauf^h*
ter, and Mess you both together; but hark you t
no money till I die ; obKn-e that.

£u(. bir, m giving me your dauKhter, rou be-
stow upon me more than the whole world would
bo ^vithout Iter.

Ro$. Dear Luanda, if words could convey the
transport) of my hrart upon this occasion —

Tmc. Words are tW tools of hy|M>crite«, the
prctcodcrfl to fncndihip ; only let us resolve to
prrwrvc our c^crm fur each other.

Yuung ifcu. Dear Jack, I little tlinught wo
shiiuld ever meet in such odd circumstnnce^^^
but here hm Ifccn the MraugPkt busineu between
this lady and me ■ —

liodgt. What, dien, Mrv RfisMtta, are you
turned fnlie-hi-nrtrd after all' will you nmrry
Thomas the gardener } and did I fun»ake Madge
fur tliis }

Rm. Oh Lord ! llodce, I bci; your pardon : I
protest I fuTKnt; but I nmftt reeiincile you and
Madge, I think, nnd give you a weddmg-dinuer
to make you antctidl.
Hod^e, N— ah.

Haw. Adds me, sir, here are some of yvmw
netchbours come to visit you, and I suppose to
make up the company of yo^r statute-ball ; yon-
dec's music too, I sec. Stuill wc enjoy ourselves ?
Il'so, give me your bund,

J, Wood. \V'hy, here's my hand, aitd we will
enjoy oorsclven; Ilcavcu bless you both, chil-
dren, I soy ! Sister Deborah, you are a fool !

Atrt Deb. You are a fool, bmtiicr; and mark
my words — But I'll give myself no more trouble
about you.

UoK. Fiddlers, strike up !

AIR.

Hence witli cares complaintt, and frowning

Welcome jollity and joy;
Every grief in pli-aaure drowning,

Mirth this liiippy night employ :
Let's to fnend<»bip do our duty,

I«ui;h and mnfi^ some good old strain ;
Drink a health to love and beauty

May they long in triumph rei^n !

[£r(HiK OEaiei,

THE

MAYOR OF GARRATT.

wx

FOOTF.

DRAMATIS FEKSON£

MEN.
SiK Jacob JotLVP, a nemly created hugii.
Majoe Stvrceoii, of the mlitiM.
JssKT SvEAK, a htmpeeked piMmaktr,
BsDlV, a surly brute,
LmT, all apotkecory.

Room, i ^^'^

}«ftt/*r.

SsiFFLE,

Matthew McO|

WOMEN.

Mks Sveav, a lArev.
Mks Bmuiv, • timptttem.

Scau~Garrmlt.

ACT L

SCENE I.— Sir Jacob's houie at Garret.

Enter Sib Jacob.

1^ Jac. RooBB !

Enter RooEB.

Hog. Anao, dr ?

sir Joe. Sir» urcBh ! and why not sir Jacob,

Su rascal? li that alt jour manoera? Has his
Bjestj dnbbed me a knight for you to make
nae a mister f Are the candidates near upon
coming?

Rpg. Nic Goose, the tavlnr from Putn^, they
lay, will be bcfe in a crack, sir Jacob.

Sir Joe. Has Margery fetched in the linen ?

Rog. Yes, sir Jacob.

JStr Jac. Are the pigs and the pooltry lodted
up in the barn ?

Rag. Safe, sir Jacob.

Sir Jac. And the plate and spoons in the
pantry?

Jtoj;. Yes, ur Jacob.

Sir Jac. Then ^ve me the key : the mob will
soon be upon ua : and all is 6sh that comes to
their net . Has Ralph laid the doth in the ball ?

Sc^. Yes, w Jacob.

SiV Jac Then let him bring oat the Unkerarf
chine, Bad he sure there is pleiity of iMlirA;
and, d'ye bear, Roger? do you suod yooisclfst
the gate, and b« careful who you let in.

Rog. 1 will, sir Jacob. [£rif Rocrs.

•Sir Jac. So, now I bdiere tfaaiig* are ptdtT
secure ; but I can't think wbat mikct wf
dau^ters so late ere they- —

[Knochimg mttitgdi.
Who is tha^ Roger ?

Ro^. [Without.] Master Lint, the poac^ai^
rier, sir Jacob.

Sir Jac. Let him in. What the deuce cbd be
want?

Enfcr Li BTT.

Sir Jac. Well, Master Lint, your will?

LtiU. Why, I come, sir Jacob, p«rtlya»!i-
quire after your health, and iMuUy, bs X ■BJ'fi
to settle the business of the day.

Sir Jac. What buuness?

JJnt. Your worship knowetb, dus bcng As
day of election, the rabble may be liotoei; ■
wlucfa case, maims, bruises, contnsoos, ifidsc^
tioQs, fractures simple and compoond, maylUT
ensue : now, your worship need not be toUi ^

FoOTE.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

571

I bin not only a pbarmacopolUt, or vender nf
drags, but HkeniK dunirgeon^ or bcnler of
wouodt.

Sir Jae, True, maitcr Lint, nnd equally ■k.Uful
in both,

IJnt. It U _¥oiir w(mhi|)S pleMurc to Hiy no.
sir Jacob. Is it your worihip's will that I lend a
miniitring hand Ui the ntnimed^

■Sir Jae. By all intsm.

Jjint. And to whom must T bring in my bill f

&V Jac. Doubtleiia lite vMtrv.

Lint. Your worsliip knows, that, kill or cure,
I have contracted to physic the porisll-poar by
the treat : but this must be a separate clinr^.

&> Jae. No, DO : ull under one : come, Master
liot, don't be iinrfaMtnatlc.

Lint. Indeetl. ur Jnoib, I can hardly nfford it.
What witli the denrncu «!' drii2>, nnd the iium-
(•er of patients ific ponce lias procured me, I
can't |et salt to mv porriil^p.

Sir Jac Dad lliu ycnr. better tlic iK-it. — We
mun take (hinfs ruuRh and •smooth :ii tlirv run.

ImI. IiKlecd, I Imrtr ii vorv hard liHrcnm-

Sif Jac. No s'tdi mattery we are. neichboiir
I Jnt, a little bf^itcr instructed, rortnerlv. indeed,
a fit of ttlitesa was vtrv pxpei^\*c; but nou-, \A\y-
uc is cheaper than food.

IJnl. Marry, heaven forbid !

Sir Jac No, no ; your esfcCBCes, eliitir*, eme-
tics, sweats, drops and your pnstcs. and vour
pills have lilenced your pestle^i and mortars.
Why, a I'cvtr that would funncrlr Imvc OKt you
a fortune, you may now cure for twelre penny-
worth of powder.

Jdmt. Or kill, tir Jacob.

Sir Jac. And then, ai to your acurriea, ood
goutif rheumativsi^ ran«umptious (-<>u|;ti5 and
OBCwrfia, car-wTiier and lurpeiiune will oiakeyou
M aound as ■ roach.

Limt. Nostriira<<.

Sir Jac. Sp(>cilic5, specifics, master Ijni.

LitU. I RID «pry sorry to find a man of yoor

wot^li't Sir jiicvih, a promoter of pu£ ! an

«iieour«^r of qaacks. air Jnrob !

Sir Jac, Rcctdarft, LJnt, rci*utar«: look ai their
Vmmt% Rocer, Inn^ me the ue^s — itot a soul of
them bgt t» ciilicr 1'. L. or M. D.

Lint, Plaguy har» ; murderous dogs,

KoC£R ^rinji Ihe Ncka

Sir Jfir. LioTfi ! ITcrc, look nt tlte lUt of their
c«rv^ Hie oath uf Margery Squab, of Ilatclilf-
Hiiehway. vpinslcr!
IJnt PcrmrK-JL

Str Jac. And wc here, tlicchurchwoiilcnshave
a^gni'il It.
^ Ijmt. KictttiouA, sir Jurob I
B Sir Jae. Sworu. Iwfore tlic worshipful MrJus-
H tin £>r»»v^«, thifr tbinccnih day of—
H Limt. 1 orgcry *

Sir Jae. Why, liorkV. airrah, do TOO think
Mr Ju&licr. Drowsy would tcl his band to a for*
eery?

Lint. I know, sir Jarob, that woman ; ihe has
hcen cured <>( fifty disposes in a fortnight, ond
evenr one of ilicm monal.

Str Jue. You icnpiidfnl —

Lint. Of a dropity, by West—

Sir Jac. Andacinu^-

Lint. A cancer by CIcland—

Sir Jac^ Arrogant —

IJnt. A pal«y, by Walker —

Sir Jue. Imporlincnt —

Unt. Gout and sciatic, bj Rock —

Sir Jac. In«oI<-nt —

IJnt. Coo!4umption, by Steven's drops—

.Sir //If. Paltry—

IJnt. And sqiiititiiig I«yi!io chevalier Toylor.—

.Sir Jac. I'ill-i'ildinR puppy !

lint. And ai to the jubtice, M the tdfidaiit
brinin liini a sliillin^ —

SirJaf. Why, hark'e, raicnl, how dare you
abuw the commisMon? — Yuti bliv>d-lettinc, tooth-
drawiiiti!, cnro-cutting, wroni>4.ilUag> blistering
glisrering —

Uvf. UI(H>9 me, (lir Jaroh, I did not think to—

Sir Jar. Whrtt, sirrah, do yoii iiwult mc in my 'J
office? Here, Hogcr, out witli lum ! — Turn hint
out!

Liot. Sir, ns I hope to be —

Sir Jae, Avinr with liim ! ( KWi] You scoundrel,
if my clerk w«» within, I'd bcnd yuu this instant to
Bridcwe.n. Tbinji^ are come to a pretty |ki*% in-
deed, if, after all my rcadins in Wood, at»d Nel-
son, and Horn ; if, after twenty year* atttadance
at tumpikr-meetingji, sewioos, petty and quar-
ter; if, nrter settling of nitc>, lici-nMneale^liouw*,
and committing of vawi-anl* — nut idl respect to
authority is ln*t, and Unut Quorum, iiow-n-day»,
is no more recardcd than a p*'lty rnostable.—
[Knocking.^ Kiiger, sec who is at Uie gate? Why,
the fellow i» denf !

ito^. JusticR Stutfreon, the fishoionger, from
BrentVord.

Sir Jae. GkTs my lif« ! and major to tlie Mid-
dlf«ex militia ! Usher liim in, Hoger.

Eater M.tiOB STiriUiLOX.
Sir Jac. 1 coulil liuve wished you bad come ts .\
little sooner, major SlurfeOD.

Jlfd;. Why, wlul has betto tlic matur, »ir Ja-

Sir Jac There has, major, been hcra an imptH
dent pill-nKmeer, who has darvd to ftcnttdolii*
the whole boay of the bench.

Jlf«7. Iny^lent companion ! had I been liere, I
uoiilil have initliniuscd tlie rascal at once.

Sir Jac. No, no ; he wanted the maj'U- osore
than tluj ma^strate ; a few amart slrokea from
yonr cane would have fully auswered Uie piti^
pose. Wall, tnajor, our wara are done ; tbe

BRITISH DRAM

[Foots.

ntt]in]> lirum and sqoealring Cfe oow wotinil our
con nn more.

Alaj. True, »r Jnciib, our corps is dis^robo-
died, to Ute French may tlcep in wcuritr.

Sirjac. But, iiutjur, was it noi rather late iii
life, fur jrou. to enter upou tJie [inircsMuii erf
zntiif

\Sn). A little dukwArd in the brgiuinne. sir
Jacib ; the irvat ditBculiy iliey had wiu to cei
nic to turn nut my T'h.'«; hut n^e — uar rconndlei
nil them kind of thine\ : why, Bfter my first can^
paiptif I no mnre roimled tlie niiiK of" the guns
than a tic«*bite.

Sir Sac. No \

Mai. N'o ! There \s more imule of tbe«e mnt-
ten than they merit. Tor the <eacral Rood, if>-
drtrd, I nni ^d of the pence ; liut, as to tny siti-
Iflc self — And yetf we tnve had some desperate
dutT. sir Jacob.

&r Jac. No doubt.

Jlf«;. Oh, Midi iimrHiinp uid coonter-mnrch-
ingfi ! IroiD BrenttunJ to BAliiiCt frooi Ealitig to
Acton, from Acton to Usbrlc^ : I1ie duiC &y-
inic, sun scoa-hing, men swentitiK — Why, iJwre
wuit our last expedition Vi Uuuiivlon-, tlial day's
work carried on Majiir MulasKi^. BuiUiill-^elds
iicvcr saw a braver coniiuuiidcr ! lie wtu an irrv-
pamble lou to the service.

Sir Jac. How cumf. thnt nhuut ?

MitJ. Why, it wns parUy the major's own
fnult : I advised bint to pull off his spurs before
he went upon uction ; but lie wns resolute, and
would oat he niliHL

Sir Jm: Spirit ; zefti for the service,

Muj- Duubtle%)) — Biit to proceed : In order to
)(et our men in good spiiits, wc were quartered
Qt Ihlt-Mvortli the eieninj: before; at dsy-brcalt,
our regiment t'nrmcd at IlnunsIoH- town's end, as
it might be about here. I'Ue uiajur luoflc a Goc
disfhJMiiou: on wc mnrctied, the men all in hi^ti
5pirit!>, to attack the gibbet w-liea' Onrde) is haiig-
iitt; ; but, turning dtiwn n rmrmw Ituie to tltc let'l,
as it inigbt be about there, in order to powess a
pigV sty«, tluit. wp mii^lit take llie ^nllowsin flank,
and, as all events, sccurf> a retreat, who should
come by but a drove of fat oxeu fur Smithfield !
The drums beat in tite front, the dogs barked in
the renr, ilio oien set up a gallop: on they came
tliundcring upon us, broke Ibrough our ranks in
an inttant, niid tJirew the whole corps ia confu-
sion.

Sir Jac. Terrible !

Maj. Tbe mnjor's Itnrsc look to bis liceU;
awuy nr iK:ourc(i m-er llic heath. I'hat gallant
cuminAiider stuck both his spurs into the Bnnk,
and fur tome time held by nis mane; but. in
cro!>Mng B ditch, ttic Iwnc threw up his head,
gave iho major a dowse iu dtc chops, and plump-
ed him into a gravel-pit, just by Uie powder-
mills.

Sir Jar. Drendfol !

Maj. Whether from tlie fall or the fright, tlie

uitijnr moved off m a month IddeodI, M wit
un vinfonunate day fur us alL

.S.> Jaf. As Im>w '

Maj. Why, as captain Cucumber, liettfcoMit
Pattv-Pan. cu^ii^ ^ ''P** "*** uivself, were re-
lurnin;: to town in ti*c rurahwa-Oreen sta^iWt
vrrrc ttiitppcd near tbe llatammmtti tnrapinr
and rubbed mid stripped bjr a (aotpad.

■Sir Jac. An uufurtnnaie <lay, bidced !

Mitj. Hut, in some measurr, to make me
amends. I t:ot ilie nmjor's commtsvioa.

Sir Jae. Yuu did ?

Ma}. O vM. 1 was tbe only one of the cwpa
that could ride : otherwise, we alwa^ weceedr^
nf oMjrv: mi jumping ovcr heads; Oft unrfe**-
hand work amon^ us; all men ofhoiiDcr; and.!
must do the rcpment the jnstic* to aat, thert
nner ivn» a set uf more amtahle ofbcera I

Sir Jac. Quiet and peaceable f

.Mil}. As lambs sir Jacob. Rsoepting nee
Ikishm; hout at the Three Corapo*fto* in Aetna,
ifCtwccn captain Sheers and the colooel, cuncef*-
ini; a puue at all-fonrs, I doo'l rvmember a wu^
tlisputr.

Str Jac. Why, titat was mere mudny ; the »^
Eoin Qii||>ht Iu have been broke.

Maj. He was: fi>r the colonel noc ouIt took
awav iiis cockade, but bis custmu ; and I dw>^
think poor captain Khcere baa done a ilildi fur
him 9tnre.

Sir Jac. Bat you toou supplied tlie ]am Of )Lh
luisns r

AtaJ. In pert only : no, sir Jacob, he had pal
experience ; be was irainc") up to anus fn>rti *•
y.inlh • at rixlcen he tmtled a pike in the artiW
ierv-ET'Mmd; at eiphtcen pot a coinpfiny u CM
SiniiliBcld pioneers; and, by the time hm ^
twenty, was made aid-dc-canip Ui sir JeCrry
Grub, knight, alderuuin, oud culouel of tbe fC^
low.

Sir Jac. A nqiid rtae !

Maj. Yes; he bad a i^ius fnr mr; hiW
wlmt i wonted in practice, I nuulvopby donbliC
my i)ilii::enre. Our (inrier nl home had hm a
serjfiaiitnf mariDcs; so, after my t^top wwjfatfv?
at night, he iiscd to teach mc my e\emse; tal
he had not to deal with a duntv, %ir Jamb.

Sir Jac. Your proeresa was great t

lilaj. Amazing ! In a week, 1 could sbneUr,
and rest, and ixhxe, and lum to rhe nffhr, W
wticcl to tlic lef t ; end, in less than a taualK 1
could fire without winking or blinLio^.

Sir Jac, A pcrlCLt liuuuibnl !

Maj. Ah, ftiiJ ilicu I learnt t«» farm UiKS.*'
hollows, and squares ami cvulntions aiid «■«*••
tions: Let mc tell vou, !»tr .(tiroSj it <rai« lad?
tliat monMciir kept Fits " 'at bocm *

we should lime pcppcrt i ■»nmncdM*

Sir Juc. Ay, inairy, he h.^i] a mancQaatf "'
cape.

Muj. We wntiUl a langht liim wbat a
cau do, who is figbtit^ pro arris onAjocu.

fDOTft.3

BRITISH DRAMA.

>2»

I
I

Sir Jat. Pniy nnw, tni^or, «hidi do you look
llpOD u the licit diM:i(jliiK-(l tronps, the Lutiduii
R]u<Drals> or the MiriHIcMx uiilitia^

JMia^ Whvt ^ir inuub, it dues tint become me
CO sAy ; but liirL-a-<tnY' tt>'*y lii>it-> never srcti miv
•ervk»— HolidH/ «ol(iic-r» ! W ti_v, I don't belicv<-,
ooleN, indeed, uprui » lurd tmiyorS dav, midlbni
tncR mattrr of ucctdont, th»t tlicy were ever wet
to the 4kin in their lives !

Sir Jac. Indeed 1

Maf, No: soldicn ri>r survibinp, cockni« ;
Chejr b»re riot itw nppcnrancf, the air, ite (rte-
fiom, the Jrntfy tfywm tliat — Ob, cnuld you but
»cc mc ututc r You Ikuvc oercr m spootuun in tlic

llOUM^

Sir Joe. No ; but we cnuld get « shoi-c>p)ke.

Mej. No matter. NVctl, sir Jiicub, aiid Imw
mm Twr fiiir dIH]l:hte^^ sneei MnSiteiiL uid iho
lovdjr M^^ Hruiii ? is »Jk: aj lirvlj^ and as tfrillianl
■s ererf

Sir Jne. Oh ho, now ihe murder is out; ibi«
visit waft iiiicnded for ihpm ? cnnw, own now,
nmjor, did not tuu cipect tu nit'ct with tlicin
Ixre ^ Yoii nSJTTni arc men of such gnllaotTv !

3f«r. U'hy, w« do tickU- up the Indies, sir
Jacob: there if no rcbisliiin a red lohL

S(> Jmc. True, true. mit3<»r.

^taj. But that 14 now till over with me. Fare*
w«LI tu the plumed steeds aiui 11011*11)01: tr<x>p», k^
<bR black man wjs in the pin)' ; like llie Ituiiian
ceiisurcr, I >hal( reliri: to 111^ Hiviii iield, and there
culdrate cftbbn;!es.

Sir Jae. Under tite shade of your laurels.

Ma). Tnic; I huvc drjne with the ini\jur, amL
■raw reiMm lo iIk; magistrate ; Ctdunt urmu

Sir Jiff, Siill in the service of your coontrr ^

Maj, True; ninn wiw not made for himself;
and so, thinking iknt ihrt would prove a busy diiy
in tbe justicing way, 1 am corue, sir Jacufa, tu
lend you n hand.

Sir Joe, iMrtc like a nciKhbour.

Mtg- I have brought, ti« I iiippose roost of our

will lie in iIk buttery way, sumc war-

rnuts aiid mittimnMt reudy tilled up, with all

Uut the OHUtcsof the pHrlics, in order to saic

CUDT.

Str Jar. A provident mngistratc !
hSm. Pray, how shall wc mansge us to the ar-
tide uf •wfiu-jna;; for, I reckon wc sbtill have
oalhs RK plenty as bops?

Hir Jac. Why, with rrenrd tit that brHOch of
\ cur busini'ss to-<lay, 1 believe the luw must be suf-
1 to sleep.

rj. I sliuuld think w« might pick up some-
J that's pr*tty that wny.
2kr Jac. No; piwr rutcals, they wr,uld not be
•Ua- I '> pn« ; and as lo tin- Mocks, we should netcr
Bod tiKiio for llw^ir lei!<>.
^ Muj. Pny, Mr Jncoh, is Mattliew Marrow-
BtK>ne, the buiHier u( your tovm, living or dead i
H Sir Jac. Lit ing.
B JtifJ. Aad swcfirs m much u bo used ?

I.

I

&r Jac. An altered man, major ; not oa auh
conies cMJt of his mouth.

Maj. YiMi surprice me ! why, wh«n hff fre-
quc'iited our toun »( a mnrket-driy, he hns cakea
out n guioea imiMtlu — And quilc rtmn^edf

Sir Jac. Entirely — Tliey say his wtfe has mads
him a methodist, and that be preacliu at Ken-
siujjion Common.

MaJ. What a deal of mischief those rascab
do in the country ! — Why, tbeo, we have entirely
lo4t htm?

Sir Jac, to that way ; but X f^ot ■ brsoe of
bind-uvcrs I'rom htm last week for a coupla of
Ifastnrds.

Mni. Well done, lilastcr Matthew !— Bat^ray,
now. jir Jiieob—

M<4>. [ \lilhotit.\ Huna !

Hir Jac~ What'a the matter now, Roger ?

F,nter Iloc r.B.

Rog. The electors desire to know if your wor*
shin has any bf»dy to recDmmei)d }

SirJttc. By no means; let them be free id
their choice: 1 shan't interfere.

Ho^. And if your worship Itas any objectioa to
Crispm Heel-Up the cobler's being retuntitig of-
(jcer?

Sir Jac, None, provided tlie rascal can keep
himself sober. U he there i

Hog. Yes, sir Jacob. — Make way there ! stand
farther otf fmm the i;aa* : here is iuikIimo Sneak
in H chuir ohm; with her husband.

Aiai. Uad's so, you will permit me to coDToy
Iter in. [Liit Muoa.

Sir Jar. Now tiere is one of tbe evils of war.
Tills Sturgeon was as paios-ukinc a Kllimgate-
broVer as any in tlie bills of nvirtnlity. But the
tivh is ffit out of his element ; tlie soldier baa
'{uitu deniulislicd the citizen.

£nffr Mit5Si«r.AK, handcii by Ihe "ill aJOM.

Mrs Sneak. I>ear major, I demand a millioo
i»r pnrdons. 1 hare gtvcn yo-j a profusion of
trunbln; but my huvhaud is such n s^)ose-csp,
that 1 cun'i t*rt mt i^ood out of him at home or
abmad — Jerry, Jerry Sncuk — Vour blcsnng^ sir
Jacob?

Sir Jac. Daughter, you are welcome to Oar*
ratt.

Mr* Sacak. Why, Jerry So«ak ! I lay—

Efttrr Sst^K, with a band-bor, a hofm-petttCoaC
under hi$ arm, and cardinatj SfC. SfC. SfC

Sneak. licre, low!

Mrs Safttk. Here, looby: there, lay ibtaa
thin^ in the hall ; and then ffi and lofik after
the horse. Are you sure you Itave got all iba
ihiii)ts out of the chaise ?

Sncifk. Ve*, choice.

Mrs Sncvk. 'J'lien, pre me my fan.

[Jtaar dropi the t/iingi in uorthittg kit
focketfoT the Jan.

Sirt Sneak. Did ever owrtal Kt tudi a— 1

^4

BRITISH DKAMA.

[FooTe.

t decbre, I am quit** Bsimmrtl in be seen hiUi liiin
jlibroad: ^n, get vou c<»iu oui of inv sialic.
I Sneak. I go, Uwv r (JmoiI ilnv w mv futbcr-M)-
[few.

Sir Jae, 1 ttiii cinil to Sfc you, •ou Sarok- But
■here w your brottu-r Hruin, anil lii« wilt?

Soeal:. He wiK Lc here uimii. tathfr air Jaroh;
, lie diii but ju&t step latu tiw^ i^y* ta gHttirr hutv
■icketo wvre i^ilil.

airjiv. Very wril, wn Snnilc. [Erit *xr.kK.

J/r« Sutak. Sciii ! yi->, iinJ a pretty aoo viiu
have provided.

•^> Jac, 1 tmpC nil &r th* bcK : why, whnt
tcrrilj|« work tltcit- wimid Uqvc been, lind vtiu
jnarried Midi n wie ai) your sister! one Uquu
*oiiid never have ctintnined ynu — Sow, I ttiuutrttt
this meek irnie —

Mrs Sarck. Meek ! n mushnioni, n milksop !

Sir Jac. Look ye, Mnlly. I Itnvc innrricil vnu
In a nian; take care vou don't nmke him n mu't-
•ler. * [£rif Sir jAton.

MrM Saeak. Monster! Why, major, the fclU»w
ha% no more heart rhnii n moute. Hnd my kind
»turv, iridetd, nllotred me a milimrv man, 1
aliould doutittcss have dcp'»rlcd mytulf' in a bct-
•cemingly manner,

MaJ. Uni]at*tionnhl_v, mndara.

Afrt Sutak. Nnr would tite major hare found,
hail it been my furtune to iiiicniwrry with hl-n,
iHnt Molly Jollup would Imve dishonoured hi»
■ cloth.

M(^. I fthoulrl hnre been too happy.

Mrt Sneak. Indeed. »ii> I reverence (he anny :
they are all sfi limve, so polite, so every thing a
nornon au\ wish —

Maj. Oh! Madam—

Mrt Sneak. So clegniit, so ffutcel, m ohli-
ging: and then the niuk ! uJiT, who would dare
Co nlTmiit ttic wife of a runjorf

MaJ. No man with impunity ; iliat I take ih6
freedom l** say, maJnm.

Mrt Sufak. T kifrvr it, pwd Mr. Oh! I am
no slntnf^r to what 1 have mi>5ed,

Muf. Oh, Mnduin I — Let me die but ^ihe has
iiilinitc merit. [A'iiie.

Mrt Sneak. TIten to he joined lo a ^ocnkiiii:,
alineiily cit; n palirv, pryini;, pitiful pin-maker !

MuJ. Melaiiclitjly ! —

Mri Stimk. To be jivsttvd uiid cmmmc! wiih
tin- crowd ; no respect, no place, no precedence ;
to lie rhiMikcd with tlie Mtiuki.- tif titu rit\ ; mi
cotintr)-JBunt5 but to Isltngtoo; nu balls but at
PewtererVhall !

MaJ. InlolCifable!

Afr» S»fak. I see, w^ you have a praper sense
of mv «itl1ering«.

Maj. And would shed ray best blood to relieve
them.

Mrt Snrok. Gallant gentleman !

Maj. Mm tintvt- must fiivour the fair!

Ur I Sneak, lutrcpid maior!

MaJ. Divine Mt« Soeak 1

Mrt Sntak. Ubliging cocamftbdcr !

Mar Mieht 1 be permitted the hoooor—

Mn Sncok. Sir —

Mttj. Juit to ruvi.h a Um frum youi Im

Mrt Sntuk. Vou luve a ni;M li> all
(;ranl.

iJ*f;. C'Mirteoitt, coodetcendinfe eanph-m^
Mum — ha !

KarrrSa trait.

Safak. Chn( k, my brother nnri t^'^ter
lire juM luruiiii^ the coraer ; theCloiihnm
WBK qiikic full, nod ■u they cnitiv hr Wiiicr.

Mrt Sufuk. 1 Hish they tiad all betni M)«m4
in the I'htunca — A pryinKi impe-rtutcot puppy!

Moj. Nr\t lime I »il| flap » Leniiiicl tu su-
ture tlie dour.

Mrt Sueuk Major SturKenu, prnnic «• ts
withdranr fi>r u iiiiunent; ray dreaj ttomnai a
little repair.

Moj. Your Indytliip's most rntirrly 4«fwtc4—

Mrs Sneak. I^dysliip ! he ia Uie rery Bn|b9
mid ticlhrislc of tlie amiy !

Snrtik. 8luUI 1 wiit uptm von. tkwcf

Mrt Sneak, No, do'.t ! nhat, would >imi lean
tlie major sloue f is ilial your uuumen, jw
inuniircl ?

Maj. Oh, mndatu, I can nrrcr be atone: yW
sweat idem will be my LUii!.lant t-<icnpiuiiaii.

Mn Snrak. Mark tliat ! 1 <km Mirry, sr, 1 n
ohliKiiled tn Icrtc you.

Maj. ^ladara—

Mr» Snrak. Especially with sucti •
C(ini))a<iiuti.

Mirj. Uli, madam —

Mrt Sniuk. Out as soon n» my drcir k it-
(ilOifd, I *hnll fly tn relirtr your dl^l^c-u.

Mirj. Fur that inouu'iit 1 hlwll wait with ikt
grealCHt impniienfe.

Mrt Sarak. Couneous mrnnonder !

Maf. Furr;i^m of women !

^ha Snrak. Adieu I

Muj. Adieu ! [ liiri/ M u% Sst.t

Sneak. Notwith»ttmdin](, ate. all my diiritii
lioh Villi, I nni spMrial otiupnny when >hc u Mtt^

M«}. I duuhi iKit, .Mr >iiruk-

Sneak. If you would hut Come cnKT Ibiini^
iiit:lit to our cinh, »t the Nc^VIIriwl in tV
I'oultry, you would meet AiHtie roaru^ rw
Imys, i'foith! There* .Icmmy Pcrkifvsthc puitf.
little Tom l^tinkins the grocer, honest mafliK
.Mu»lc till-' nitdwile —

MaJ. A pwdly company !

Siieak. .\\; uimI lh«n vnnetiiney we haw iIn
Choice Spinii from ttmiiisS I'uirt, and mi^mrk
jukcsi, and are so jctllvand tunny ! I hi.
Miv»>elf to sing ' An old wrtinan elntht-d
But I dur*u not tking out luiid, became wt "•"
would overhear me; and ■>hc mvsus bow I la*h
wur*fnT tliwii iIjc LirmmtHDim.

M<rf. .Aud you must tvai think of dHobligPI
your iiidy ?

Sneak. I never dites : I never contradktt b^>
not I.

FOOTE.]

BRITISH DRAMA.'

375

I

Maj. That's rigbt : she is ■ womui of infinite
(Dcni.

Sneak. O. a power ! And don't yon ttiink die
» v«rv pretty withal }

Maj. A V'ciins!

Sneak. Yea, werrr like Weous — Mayluip you
hmve knnwn her same time?

JUaj. LiHig.

Sneak- llehke before &he «ras nuirried ?

Ma/. I did, jMnstcr Sneak.

Snittk. Ay, wlicn site wiu a wjipo. I thotif^Iit
TOtt WHS an uM acQuaiiitAnCft )>y vuur kU»itip her
nwiil ; for wc ben t quiie so l'nmiti«r ns that —
But, then, indeed *ri* lum'l been innrricd a vcur.

J£i(f. The mere houey-mooiL

Smtiik. Axt ay, 1 supputie wo bhaU como to it
hy de«;ree9^

BnttH. [irifAifl.] Come alone- Jntx: why,
yoo ore as punjr and Uiy, yun jiulc —

CiiicrBRi7ia andWife: B«t;iw mtk a cotion
cap on ; his weift mith kU mig^ g^f^i toat, and
Jiiking-rod.

Brniit. Come, June, give vae my wi^ : ynu
vlut, bow jou hare tuu&lcd the curli ! Mn^trr
Snualc, a good inornin; to you. Sir, I an yuur
iuunbjc servant unkuown.

Enter Roger.
Rog, Mn Sneak begs to speak with the ina-

Moj. I will wait on the lady iiu mediately.

Sneak. Don't tarry an instant; you can'l
think bow impatient she is. [£nf Majus.] A
i^iKid mumiw tn you, bruther Bruin; yuu hate
had a warm walk ficrou the Achb.

Mrt Brum. Good lord, I am nil in h muck —

hruin. And who tnav you ihiink lur it, buvtv ?
If you hod got up time euuu^h, you might have
Mcarad the stage; but you are a lazy lin-a-

Jir$ Bruiiu There's Mr Snenk keeps my sit-
ter ft cluiy.

JSrmin. And so he may; but t kittjw belter
what to do with my munev : (udi-cd if the war had
bat cxxitinucd awhile, I aon'i know what mouetii
htf been dnoe; but this pln;;uy ptiirc, uilh a
pen to it, tuu knocked up all the trade of the
Allev.

jUrt Bntin. For tlic inaltcr of lliat, we can
Afijrd It well enotigh as it is.

Bruin, And bow do you know timt' Who told
^ou as n inch, MrsMixrnr I hope I know liH>
world better ihnn to tnt»t my ainccrn^ nriUi a
wsTe : nu, no ; ttiaiik you for tlint, Mt-» June.

ilfrs Bruin. Atul, pmy, who t* mure Itttercr to

Brmin. Itef^ny ! Whr, ilie wench it bewitch-
ed ? Come, come, let us have nune of your pala-
ver here— lake twclr»-peucL- lukd pay ike wa-

termnn. But, fir^t set if he has broke none of
the pipes — Ai)d, d'ye hcnr, Jane, be sure lay the
lubiug-rod suie.

[Exit MrsBruik.

Snfitk. OiW me, how finely she's maa')t;ed !
VVhut would I girc to have mt vrife as muck un-
der!

Britin, It is yoDT own fault, brother Sneak.

S»fak. D'ye think so ? She is a sweet prct^
creature.

Brum. A vixen.

Sneak. Why, to ny the troth, she does now
ntvi then liector n liliie; and, beiweeoonr^cUes,
domineers like tbc detil. O, L/ird, I lead the Id'e
of n dnp ! Why the allows me but two shillings
n week for tny pocket.

£rniJ«. No !

Sneak. No, man : 'tis she that receires and
pays all : and, ibeu, I ani forrt-d to trot after her
tu chiirdi, with her carditi.il, pnttciis, and prn?'
cr-book, for all the world, as if I nas still ■
'prentice .'

bruin. Zounds! I would souse tliem all in
tho kennel.

Satak. 1 durst not ; and, then, at table I ne-
ver ^ets what I loves.

Brain. Tlie devil !

Sneak. So; she always lielps me henielf to
Lite tough drumsticks of turkeys, ainl the damned
tat &m>s of ftlioutdrrs of mutton. 1 dun't ihink I
hoic cut a bit of unde-rcrust sin<c we have \Mccn
married. Vou see, brother Brunt, I am uluiost
as ihin as a lath.

Bruin. An ahmlute skeleton !

Sneak. Now, if yuu think I cnuld carry my
piiut, I would so Hwin^c and Inither my liunth-
kin ! Ood, t wuuld ho ctirry snd duw her !

Bratn. By ilie lord Harry, >hu nclily descrvci
ii.

Stuak. W*ill yon, bmtlicr, leml me a lift.?

Brttiit. Commtud me ni nil limev

Sneak Why, then, I will venly pluck up ■
spirit; and tbc first tnuo stie offcrv to

Mrt Sneok. [IVtthin.] Jerry, Jerry Sneak I

Sneak. Gad's my life, sure a.1 n ^n that's her
vojcc ! Look ye, brulhcr, I don't dvK>»e to breed
a dUturbaucc in im'ttlwr body's house; but as
soon n» ever I jsit home

Bruin. Now »your tinie.

Sneak. No, do ; it wjuld not be decetrt.

Mri Sneak. [Within.] Jerry, Jerry !

Snr-ak. 1 come, lovy ! But you will be wire t*
stand by me f

Brum. Trol, nincompoop.

Sneuk. Well, ifldun'l — I winh

Mrn Sfteak, [U'jfAiM.] Where it this lazy pup-
py a-loitering i

Sneak. 1 come, chuck, as fast as I can — Good
lord, what a sad lifedo I Lead ! [tUii.

tifuin. £r ^uvru linxua : who Ckii nuku »
silk purse of « sow's earr

sro

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FOOTE.

Enter Sik Jacob.

Sir Jac Come, »n Bmin, wp are nit scutn)
at taUct man: wr hare but just liiuc fiir ■
tcack : lite caQftidaies urc near upon cotiiinx.

hruia. A ponr, poltrv, meaii-hpiriieii — Uanm
It ! btfwe I would uibinit to tuch m

Sir Jae. Cooie, eon^ mma ; dm'c be mi cnn^

Bruin, I (aUam, mr JaooK Dkininc* when
uncr a mui pvcs up bis prcrocstno, be micliC M
wL-ll pve up — Botf however^ it is no bread tad
buitrr of miiie—— Jerry, Jcnyl Zovadik I
wuuld jcrrjr And jerk bcTi too !

[Estnt.

ACT U.

SCENE h—CantinMa.

Sik JlCOB, Majok Siui:(-.i:.0\, Maani/MRS

Bxuiy, Mb uni/Mits Siicak, ditcovcred.

Atrt Sntuk, I> uttii, uinjor, ooC a gmln of cu-
HnHtr ! Can it be thouf:ht that we, who ba«e a
hirdfiiiijriir'k show rrei7 year, can taLe any plea-
sure in tlii>?

ifaj. In lime of wDr, madam, tlieae mertiniip
arc not auuKii I fuocy a miin miilit pick up b
good meny recruits; but in these piping uine* oi'
pearr, I wniider sir Jacob permits it.

Sir Jae. Il would, inaJ4>r, cost nie my popnln-
ritj to qiiu^li it : the comuion people arc fund
of tlieir nistnins, as lh»> Kiimns wtTc nf their
Mafrrta Charta i besides, my tenants make sume
little ad\ aniagei

Enter Rogul

Ro^. Crispin Hccl-iap, »ith tlic elccton^ are
Ht nut frjin the Adam and Eve.

Sir Jae. Gad so, then ihey will soon he npon
Ds: Come, good folks, tlic balcutiy will jcitc iiii
the best view of the nholr. Major, you wlU
take tlw ladies un<kr protection t

A/s;. 8ir Jacob, 1 am upon guard.

Sir Jae. I can tell you, tliis U(«l-iap ii an
arch rascal——

Sneak. And plan the beit {[aroe at cribba^e
ia the whole corporation of Garrat

Mrs Sneak. I'liat poppy «ill alw»TS l>c a
chaiterm^

Sneak. Nay, I did but

3fr« Sneak. Hold your tongue, or TU send
jou home in an instant

Sir Jiic. Prithee, daui-liier ! You may to-day,
major, rnept witd Mimrtlunf; that will put you in
mind of more important trousucttuiis.

Muj. Perhaps so.

Sir Jae. Lack-a-dny, all nien are alike ; their
prinriplfs czai'Lly the same : fur thuuyh art and
education mny disguise or poltsli the manner,
the some raoitres and springs are unircrsally
planted.

JUaj. Indeed !

Sir Jae. Why, in this mob, this group of plc-
baliius, you will meet with mntrrinJs t'> mnLc a
SyllSf a Cicero, a Sulon, ur a Cr&iir : let them
uit t^mn^t conditions, and tlie world's great

lord had been but tlie best wrestler oa te
2rccu.

Mi.j. Ay. ay; I could have lokl thcM tlusp
f«ruicrly; but since I lia«« been iu the anuTi 1
liate ctitirvlr iieglectt-d iIk- classes.

Su- Jae, lint tJic licrurs are at hand, maier.
Si\rak. Father ur J;iiub, might we tail Lues
tiinknrd of stinico alancf
Sir Jac By all means.
Sucak. D'ye bear, Uo^r ?

[KteMnt iiUa the h«kamf.

SCENE U.—^&rerf.

Enter MoB, mih IIecl-tap af tkeir head; tme
crying^ A Cootc/ WAcrf, A Mug i Mitrtf A
J'rimmer !

Heti &icnce there — Silence !

\tt Moh. Hear neighbour HccJ-tap !

Id Mok. Ay, oy, bear Crispin.

3(/ A/oft, Ay, ny, licar him, liear Crupn; bl
will put uft into the mode) of the tfajng at coob

Heel. Why, then, silcuce, I aaf I

AIL Silence !

Heel. .Silence, and let lis proceed, Mag^boOT^
with all the decetK^ and oonfusioo usual i^oa
these occasions.

\tt Moh. Ay, ay, there is no dwig wiAaat

tllHl.

Alt. No, no, oo!

lieei >ilence, then, and keep tl>e paaCt(
nlutt, lit llkcre no respect oauj to autlwrityf M
not I the rcturoins otBcef f

AU. Ay. ay, ay.

HeeL Chosen by yourselves and approved tf
by sir Jacob f

A(L True, true !

HeeL Wel^ titen, be silent and dril i 9wd
back there, that gentleman witlii>ui a slnrt,Mrf
moke room for your better?^ Where t% &■«
.Snuffle the sexton f

Snuf. Ilerp.

Ueei. Let him come forward ; we appaiatbi*
nor itecretary : for Simon is a scollard, aad (■■
read writieo Ituid; aod m> let bim be iiHH«*^
accordingly.

3(< Moh. Roam for master SniUBe I
3

BRIXrSH DRAMA.

S77

I

I

I

Heel Uer«v ttanH by me \ and let as, neigl)-
boun, proceed to open tiic prcmtiiurv of the
lUiigi out, 6rst, yo»r rcrcrenre to t>iv lord of
the tnuior ; a lone life and a merry oue to our
Undlord at JftCob f buzxa j

ab^ Hozxa !

Smtak. How farrx it, ttonvst Crispin?

HttL Servant, Air Sneak. Let a% aoxr iipen
the premunire of tl«* thinjt, which 1 sbn'I do
bricajr, (vitli oil the l<xiuacitjr poyiible; that U,
in ft medium war; which, (liat wx iiiay thn tjri-
trr do it, let the bccretarr read tlut naine» of the
oindidftlei^ ami what ifiey miv fur themsclvn;
and tbn we ihall know wtwt to siif'oi* ihcoi.—
M«»teT Snaffle, b<^n.

Smitf. * To the wortliy inhattirantt of the an-
' deeC coruomtioi) of Garmti lieiulenHTi, voiir

• voles and interrtt arc. humbljr ivfi'icslt-d in fa-
' vottr of TimothY Goow", to wcecd r'^nr lute

• wonlir loavor, Mr Kiclun) IJnppi(i>,% in the

• aaid office, be being — —

HtxI. This Goose is but a lind of ^oalin^ a
tort of sncakini: smurHlrul : who U lie ?

SMtt\ A^^uunicyraan tailor from Putney.

Hfd. Ajountejrmnn tailor! A raM9il, has he

the impudence to tmobpirt* to hr mayor'

D'ye contidor, neiglibmiri, the wc i'^^ht of ihi* of-
fice ? Why, it is a burtticn fur the Itack of a por-
ter? and can you think that thii rro>;vl(i;grd
oabbae^-eftting ion of a cucumbor, ihi» wliey-fa-
oad ninny, nltuis but the ninth paitof amaDj has
atrcofth to nipporc itf

Ut Uolt. Ni> GooM ! DO Goose !

tdhkih. A Goose!

Iftft, Hold your bJsstng, and proceed to tbe
next.

Shm/1 ' Your Totet are deaircd for Matlicw

Iff Mat. AMuct a Mugt

B*tl, <Mi, oil ! what, yuii are all rrnrly to harp
a UMsh of the tankard } But fuir and ^oft, good
■iei||lbour» : U>t us tastf^ this Master Mu* before
we »wbHow him ; and unle»« I am mistaken, you
will find htm a dinincd bitter dmu^jht.

11/ Hob. A Mitt{ ! a Mnc !

9d Mob. Hear lum; hear master Ucel'tap.

lif AloL. A Mnc! B Mu»!

Hcfl. Hark'c, yuu ffilow with votir emuth full
tit Mu|U M me oak you a quf^siiun — brmj: hnn
for«m«i— Pray, is not Uiis Mntlicw Mug a rio-

Sd AM. I lietiero he may.

HttL And lives at the ilgn of iJtc Adam and
£ve?

S4 ilM. 1 believe he may.

Heei. Now, answer upon your tienour. ondas
yo9 arc a f«nilfinwii, what ia llit prr*(iil price of
■ ^ari of home-brcwcfl at ibe Adaiu and Eve?

SH Miib 1 dtm't know.

Htfl. Yoii lie, sirrah ; an*! it a groat ?

:i</ .Wo6. I believe it nrny.

'lerL <>h, may be so. Now, Deigliboar)j

liere*5 a pretty fascal ! this same Muft, became,
d'ye aecj state-affitirs would iM>t fo glibly without
layin|f a farthinj: a qunrt upon ale, this scoun-
drel, not coflintted to lake things it % tnediom
war. has lind ibe iropudL-nce to raise it a penoy. '

Mo/: No Mug ! no Mus !

Hrti, So, 1 tltought I iiioiitd crack Mr Mu^
Come, proceed to the neit, Simoo.

SnuJ. 'V\te next upou the list it Peter PriitioMr
the 9ctioolma«trr.

HirL Ay, nei^blxmns and n siiflictent man,
lot uic tell you. Master Primmer is the man for
my ntonry ; a man of learning, that can Imj dnwn
(he law : why, adzooks, bo is wise enough to

tiuzilc the parwn ; and, then, how you ha»'e
learrl him orulion at tite Arlam and Eve of a
Saiunlay niglit, about Uiuaia and Prussia. Beod,
George Gnge tbe exasemaa is nothiAg at all to
un>

4th Moh. A Primmer !

UceL Ah ! if the folks above did bat know
him ! Wby, Uid», be will make as all statesnien in
lime-

U Muh Indeed 1

Heel. Why, be swear? as how all the foiscar-
na|i;es are uwir^ to iIk great people's not leara-
ini{ tn read.

3rf Mf>b. Indeed f

Hefl. For, (nys Peter, say* be, if they would
but once submit to be lenmed by me, there is no
knowing to what n pitch tbe imiion mij;bt riie.

Jit SM. .\y, I wish ihcy would.

Snrak. Criapiu, wba^ is Peter Primmer a oa»>
didute }

Jiect. He is, Mr Sneak.

SHftik. lj>rd } I know bim, mm ! as well a*
my mother : why, [ u.<ied to go to bis lectures to
Pcwtcrcr'»-biill along vrilh deputy HrkJn.

Htci. Like enough.

Sneak. Gds me, brother Brain, ciur yoa tell
what is become of my rife f

BruU. ^iic i»gone off with lite major.

Sneak. Mayhnp to take a walk in tbe garden;
1 will fp nod uke a peep at whnt tbcv arc doing.

[Ktit .SMlli.

yfot. \aitkouU] HuTxa*

Hcei. Gadso ! tbe candidate are enmiiij; !
Corae, neighbours, ranee yourselves to the rig)tt
nnd left, tliat you may be coovTUsed in order!
let us sec who cnutes tirst.

ilt Mob. Master Mug.

Heel, Now, nriRhboiirK have a cood caution
that this Muster Mug does not cajole you ; be i»
a danuied pdatcring fellow.

Enter MATiatw Mi'c.

Wujt. Gentlemen. I am the lowest of your
slaves: Mr Heel-tap, have the honour uf kissing
voQr band.

Heel. There ! did not 1 tell you f

SB ™

378

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Foots,

Mu^. Ah, my very good rrieod, I Iiupe your

Ui Mot. lie IB dewl.

Mug, So he i«. Mr Grub, if my nuhes pre-
nilt your very goixl wile is in b»aJth f

2d Moh. Wile ! t nerer was unrricd.

Mug. No more you were. Wrll. neij^hboun
[ aiid frirnd^ — -AH ! wlad honest Dick Beuitet !

Sd Mok. My oamr is Gmcory Oubbttis.

Muc. Vou are rieht, it it so ; and how fares it
witti^fHid Mr Gubbiiis?

3fi .1M. PrcUy Uftlit, Mr Mug.

Jl-fu^. 1 aoi excfccliii^ly happy to hear it.

4lh Mi»b. llnrk'r. Master Alug?

iiiifi. Your pleasure, my very dear friend?

4(A Moh. Why, ns how and' coitceniiiig our
jDung one nt tiomA.

Mug. Right, ftiK is a [irodigiouft promising
girl.

4/A Mob. Girl ! Zooks, whv 'tis a boy !

Mtift. True, a fine boy ! \ lore aoit honour
the child.

4/A AfijA. Nay 'lis none such a child; but you
promised lo ^ct un u place.

Mttg. A plare ! what place?

4iA Moh. NN'by, a gentleman's ser^'icc, yOB
kuoNv.

Mvg. It is dune : it is fixed ; it is settled,

4/A Moh. And when is t\te lad co lake on ?

Mug. He must ^ in n fonnisiii at farihcst.

4/A Mob. And i» it a pretty goodi^h birth>
MaMcr Mug?

Mue. Tlw best in the world ; heAd<batler to
Lady Barbara Bounce.

4/A Mob. A lady !

Mug. The wf^esare oot mocti, but the vails
are aauuiog,

4fA Mob. Barbara Bunch ?

Mug. Yes; filie lias mots on Tuesdays and
Sundays, and he gathers the tables ; only he finds
Candk'v curds, cofiee, and tea.

4/A Mub. U lady Barbara's work pretty light ?

Mug. A» gr>od OS a sinecure ; be only writes
cards lu her compfuiy^ uid dreMCS his mistresk's
hair.

4/A Mob. Ilntrl Zoatuls! Why, Jack was bred
to dresang of hones.

Mag. True; but he a suffered (o do duit by
deputy.

4/A M<^. May be so.

Mvr. Ic is so. Iliu-k'e, dear Heel-tap, wlio is
this fellow? I sliould remember bis face.

Heri. And don't yr.u f

Mug. N(U I, I profess.

HtxL No !

Mug. No.

Ji«7. Well said, Master Mui^! but come,
time wears ; have you any thing more to tay to
tbe corpuratioii ?

Afa^. Goatlemcu of the corporatiou of Gar-
net

Heel Now twig htm ; now mind him : aiaHc
how he lutvi Is hi^ muiicles abouL

Mug. Ihe honour [ ihiii day solirit, will be to
me tliv must hunouRiMe honour that can be ooo-
ferred ; and should I buccee d, yt*u, gentJemen,
may depend mi my using mv utntust cndeavoun
to promtite titr good uf the borough ; f»r wbich
purpose, the eiicourat^euieiit of your trade and
manufactories will must principally tend. Gar-
rutt, it mu&t be owned, » ao iitlaml luwn,
has mil, like Waiiswurlh, and Fulbaui, and
ney, the glorious adiaotage of a port; but
nature lias dcnie'l, industry iitay Mtpply ;
bage, carroU, and colljr-doHcrs, mav be di
at present, your Maple comnwdiites ; but
should not your conunerce lie extended ?
L, gciiLlctnon, worthy to adii»c, I should rtcoa
mend the upeiting anew branch nf trade; span-
grass, gentlEmen, the manufacturing of spaiv
grass. BnitcrMB, I own, gentlemen, bom at
present the bell ; but wberc lies the fault? !■
ourKslve^, gentlemen : let us, gentlemen, bat ot-
crt our natiual urength, and I uUI take upon me
lo say, that a huotired of cnus frota the- corpon-
tiim of Garmtt will, in a sln^rt time, at the Iav-
dun uiarket, bf held at least as aii cquivaksil w
a Dattcrsen bundle.

Mob. A Mug ! A Mug !

lltrt. Damn the fcUuw, what m tof^ue he ImI
I muM step in, or he will carry tbe diqr. llatkV^
Ma>«ter Mug ?

Afii^. Your pifiasiirc, my very good fnetrff

Hrct. No tlumincring me: 1 tcLl thee, Mat-
ilienr, 'twon'l do : whv, lU' to this article of iK
here, hnw cutues it about, tbat you hat* rased il
a penny a quart ?

Mug. A word in your ear, CrisfMa; yaa»4
vour fnciKls shall have it at tbrcc-pencc

Heel, What, sirrali, do you oAcra brtbt? dfw
dare to corrupt me, you scoundrel?

Mu/;. * ienilcmen-^—

Href. Hear, nci^ibour?! ! the f«-IInw has oAf*
ed to bnte u pennv a qoarl, if so l>e as Imp I
wuuld Im> consenting to impoK upon ytni.

Mob. No Mug! No Mug!

Mug. Neigliboun, fricoda

Mob. NdMug!

M«^. I believe tbi» is (he 6nt Itorough 4m
ever was lost by the returning uffictr's rclunga
bribe. [htii Mnt

'id Mob. Let us go atMl pull dawn hit upL

Htei Hold, hold, oo riot : but, thai w« w^
not give Mug time lo perxrrt tbe votrs, axtCi^
ry the day, let u» prucecd tu the clecliott.

Afo*. Agreed ! Agreed !

[£r^UxcuaWICM

Sib Jacob, Bbuih, and Wirx, tomt fr^t^
baUony,

Sir Jac. Welt, son Oruiu, bow d'ye rebsb itc
corporaiioD of Gwntl i

JooteJ

BRITISH DRAMA.

379

Brutn. Why, lonlc'e, sir Jacob, my way is al-
ways to ipeok what I ihink : 1 don't approve on't
■tnll.

Mrt Bruin. No !

Sir Jac. And wliai's jwor objection ?

Bruin. Why, I "iw never ovtr-food of your
May f^mcs ; bi'sidcii| ocvporntiona are Ion hti-
ous thing*; they are edf^c-louls. sir Jacob.

Sir Jnc. That ihey are freqaenily loot% I can
readily grant: but I never heard much of their
«flee.

nirt Bruin. Well, now, I protest I em pluued
with it tni|hlily.

Bruin. Aud who the devil doubt& it f You wo-
men folk^ are easily pirnwd,

Mrs Brum. Well, 1 hke it so welt, that I hope
to lee one every year.

fintin. Do you ? why, then, you will be damn-
ably bit! you may take your leave, I can tell
you : for thi^ 15 the la^t vou shall »ec.

Sir Joe. Fie, Mr Bruin! hotr can you be sacha
bear ? Is tint a manner of treatitt« Tour wife i

BruM. What, L suppose vou would have me
•och a snivelling sot as yonr vm-in-law Sneak, to
Uuckle and uinge, to letch and to •

Emter Skbak in a violent hnrry.

Sneak. Wbere'a brother Bruin \ O r/>rd, bro-
ther, 1 have such a dismal ntory to tell you !

^nhi What'tthrr iiiatiLT?

Smaak. Why, you know 1 went into the eanleii
to look for my vife ood the mainr, and there 1
hunted and hunted ks sharp as it* it bad been for
one of n^ own mmickens ; but the •IciiCf; a tna-
jar or madam could I sec ; at last a ihouf^ht came
into fay b«ad, to look for them up in the Bum>
»er houae.

Brmtm- And there you found them }

Smtak. I'll tell you : the door wits locked ; and
then I looLcH throui>h the Lev-hnU- : and there,
liDfd a loercy upon us I — [ Wfiupers.^ — as sure a»
« f UD !

Brain. Indeed ! Zounda, why did not you
b(x-ak "pen (lie door ?

Sneak. 1 dur«l nut : Wlmt, would you luivc
me set my wit to a M'ldirrP 1 warrant the mu-

i'or would have knocked me down with one of
lis boon ; for I cuuld tee they were both of
tlietn nfi

Bruin. Very well ! Pretty doin|^ ! Yoo aec,
•if Jarub, tkoe arc the fruits of indutgcnre. You
may call me bear, but your daughter shall never
make me a beasL [Mvtt kuizat.

Sir Ja<. licy-diy! What, ii the election over
•Ireadyf

Emtrr CxiiPtH, 4^

B0*l. Wbere ia master Sneak t
' Smnk, Ucre.Cnspia.

MtfL Tlw ancient corporation of GarrntL, in
•OQiulcraUou uf jrour great parts wid abilities,

and out of respect to thoir landlord sir Jacob,
bavc unanimously chosen you mayor.

Snfak. Me I hfuxza ! Good Uird ! who would
have thnuglit itF But bow came Mr Pnmcner to
lf*fte it ?

Heel. Why, Phill Fleam had told the electors,
Uiat Master Primmrr wa^ an Irishman ; und bo
they would noue of them give their rote for a
foreigner.

•SubA. So, dicn, I have it for certain ! htnza !
now, brother Bruin, you ^halt see how I'll managp
my madam : Gad, I'll make her know 1 am m
mail of authority ; she sluui't tliink to bullock
and domineer over me.

Bruin. Now for it, Soeak ! the enem/s at
hand I

Sneak. You promise to stand by me, broUicr
Bruin ?

Bruin. Tf>oth and nail.

Sneak. Then now fur it ! I am ready, let her
come witen she will.

£n(cr Mas Skcak.

Afrt Sueak. Where is tlie puppy f

Sneak. Yes, yes; she is axiug for roc.

Mn Sneak. So, sot ! what, i» ttus true tJiat I
hear?

Snrak. May be 'tis, may be *tant: I doD*t
choose to iru!it ray a^n with a voman. Is that
right, brother UruinF

Brum. Fine! dun't bate her an incb.

Saeok. Stand by me.

Met Sneak. Hey-day I 1 am atnaicd ! Wby^
wliAt is the mcaniiij; of tins?

Sneak. The raeaiung is plain, that 1 am grown
a moii, and vil do what I please, without beins
■ccr)unt«ble Ui oi>body.

Jfri Sneak. Wliy, tho fellow is surely bo-
witched !

Sneak, No, I am unhitched, and that you
shall know to your cost; and mimtc you pro*
voke me, I wilt u:ll yr>u n bit of my mind : what,
lam the husbnnd, [ hope?

Bruin, lliat's njftit; at her afpiin !

Sneak. Yes; and vou shan't tli ink to hector
and domineer over me as you have done ; for
I'll pro to the club when [ pleaso, and stay out lu
late as 1 list, and row in a beat to Putney on
Sunduv-«, and wisit my friends at Vitsuntide. aud
keep tiie key of tite till, and lielp mvself at labia
tu what wittles I lUtc; aud I'll have a bit of tbtt
brown.

Brain. Bravo, brother ! Sneak, the da/s jour
own !

Sneak. An't it! Vhy, I did not think it vas ia
me : shall 1 tell her all I know f

Brain. Every thing j y.ju see she is struck
dumb.

.'inenk. A* an oyster. Besides madam, I have
VMuethiiiK furder to lell yon : eoMl, if tuuve folks
go mto ffu^eaa with mtuur% uiajhap other peu-

560

BfUTISH DRAMA.

[Foots.

pic nukj |P0 ioto (lanvtt with niaiib-^— Hiere^ I
gBv« It lier hoaie. brotlicr nniin.

Jfrx Sietk. Why, doodle, jackanapes^ h&rk'c,
ivlio Bm 1 i

Smeek. Come, <)on'i go to call ruuocs : Ant I !
vlijry Bj «rife« fttird I tun your master,

Mtn Smeak. Mj muaer ! yua paultrr, pu<)-
dlinc puppy ; you soeaktpg, slwbbj, scrubby, sni-
Tclling mholp :

SnCiJc. firotlier Oroin, don'l let bcr copie near
aoc!

Mn Safak. Hare I, sirrab, deme&nrd tnvsclf
lu wvH lucb a tbjt>|^ mch ■ repbic vn thcc ! bave
1 QOt tniulr otTselt' a. bv-word to all itiy aafuaint-
wice ! Hou't all (be world cry, Ijord, who nrould
have (bougbt Miss Mollv Jollup to be married
to Sneak ! to take up at Last with such a noodle
B>he!

Sumk. Ay, and glad (mou|;h too could CAtcti
me : Yon kuow you was pretty near yuur last
legs.

JIrs Sneak, Was there ercr sucb a cooridcttt
cur f My last legs .' Whr, all tbc country kuowsr
I could hnvti picked ancf c!»oo«ed wlicrcl wciolil:
did not I refuse %quire Afv-Criftitli from Walts t
Did uot oouDSellor Crab come n-courtiiig a
twctvemontb ? Did not Mr Wort, the great brew-
er of Brentford, make an olTcr that I mould keep
my po«c-cliav f

Sjtfoli. Nar. brother Bruin, she has had wery
food pro&r% that is certain.

4&I Snmk. My last legs ! But I can rein my
passion no longer ; let me get al the Tilltuii.

Bniin. O tir, n«ter Sneak !

Sntak. Hold bcr fast.

JIfri Sntak. Mr BruiD, unhand vae ! what, it
is you tliat haiv stirred up these cokIsi then i Uu
is set on by you to abu&e me I

Jintin. Not I; I would only have a man to
behave liken man.

AIrt Snetk. What, and are you to teacfa hiin,
I wnrrant f — but hero comes tHe major,

Entfr Major SruaoEOX.

Oh major \ Such a riot anJ rumpus ! Like a man
indeed ! I wish people would imnd their own af-
foirs, and nnt meddle with mutters tliat d'les not
ccnct^m ilycin : but all in good time ; I shall nne
(lay catch bim alone, when itc has not hiv bullies
to back liim.

Stieak. AdntI, that's true, brother Bruin; what
*hall I do when fUa lias mc nchomc^ and nobody
by but ourselves?

Brutu. If you get her otioc under, you qi>y do
with her whnti.'Vi^r um will.

AtaJ. Ijook'e, .Ma-tier Bruin, I don't know hnw
tills behiit inur miiy ^uit with a citrien ; but were
you nn ofTlcer, uud major Sturgeon uptm your
cou rt-mar tial

flruin. What then?

Maj. 'I'tteu ! why, ibcu you would he broke.

Bntim. Broke ! and for whut ?

JUaj. What? nod the wticlei of war: hm
thc^c tbiucs ut nut of vcvr spear ; points of bo
noor are for tlie sons of the sword.

Hmeak. Honour ! If you ooBe to that, where
was voar Itonour when yoa got my vife to tb«
card- 11 '

Maj. Now, sir Jacob, this is the curse of ov
cl'tth : all suNpccted for the faults of ■ few,

Snrak. Ay, and not without reason : I htui
of yiiur tricks at che king of Bohemy, when yve
wa« caiiipainjni; ah^mt; I did. Father nr J»
cob, he is as wicimis as vox old nun.

MitJ. Siu|> wTiilst you are safe. Master Sneak :
for the .'inke of your amiaMo fasdy, I pardon wfalC
is past — But for you

hniin. WeU \

Ataj. Drpnd the whole force of my fury.

Bruin, \\'hy. look'e, major Stui^eon, I
much care for your puppets and aharpa^ '
why, they ore out of my way ; but if tou .
witti v«ur boots, and box a cnuute of'boitl

M'<li. Box < Box ! Blades, bullets, ~

Jlfrs Sneek. Not for the world, my l
jor ! O risk not to precious a life ! Ui _^ ^__^
wretches ! And is tins the reward for all tKe grsat
feats he h» done ? .A fter all his tuarchiugs, ba
sousmea, his swesting<i, hU switnmio^ ; must ba
dear blond be spilt bv a bpjkir ?

Mn. Ba satislied, sweet Mrs Soeak; tkM
little fnuaaes we soldx^rs are sub)ect to i tnfli%
bagatniles, Mrs Sneak. But that matters i
bo conducted in a military maivner, I wiltgell
cliaplin to pen me a challenge. E^spoa Co *
I'roiD my adjutant.

Mn Sfieak. Major! sir Jacob ! what, are jM

all leagued against nis dcs^r a man ! Y« ; s

\*cry manly action indued, to set mamed peiyll
a quarrell'.n^ and ferment a dtfliTenca bctitci
husband and wife : if ynu were a maa, you weoU
out stand by and set! 'a pfHir wotuao beat wi
abused by n bnit*', vou would aot.

Srifak. Oh, Ijtnl, liaabuldo'iC no kNCcfl
Wliv. binilifr Bruin, vuu have met her a seeing:
my life, My lovy, don't t-cvp : did I oicr duak I
should have made my Molly veep !

Jirs ^ea^ LaM (egs ;**u lubberlv ■ —

iStrtknhm.

SirJae. Oh fie, Molly!

Jtfri Siuak. What, are yoa leagued apiafi
me, «ir Jncub?

Sir J.n: Prithee, don't f I pose yourself bc^ura
the whole parish. But what has beca ibe otfa>
«on of this t

Mrs Snrak. Why, has not he gone and m^
himself the fool of the fnnf Mayor of CamS
indeed ! Ecod, I cuvild tnun)>le hitti tia^ln ■*
leut.

Snetik. Nay, why should you gnMige nw t^
purrarmciit.'

Mn Sneak. Did you ever hrni mchaTia'''
WItv, tbce wilt be pointed at whercTTrthre|L«*-
JLook'e, Jem, mind what 1 say ; 50^ gM 'od V

TOOTB.]

BRmsn DRAMA.

SSI

chofue Mmdiodjr else, or never come near me

Smtak. Whar ihalt I do, fRtlicr ur Jzcah f
Sir Jac. Nay, daughter, you tuka this ihin<z in
too serioos a 1t^( ; wy houest neifihbourB thought
to cocnpliraent ne : but come, we'll tetUe thebu-
■IMH u oocc. Neigbboun, my sod Socak beiri^
seldom vnongsC us the duty will never be doitc ;
■o wc will pet our holiest fnend HeeKhip to ex-
ecute the ot&ce : be is, L tJiiiik, every way qu^U-
t6ed.
MoIk a IlecUup !
i/wi. Wbac d'yo meim } A» Master Jeremy's
deputy }

tiiir Jac Ay, ay ; bis locmn tcnent.
Sneak, Do, Crispin ; du, be tiiy ItKvm tenrm.
HetL Give me ^our hand, Master Sneak ; and
lo oblige you, I will be the loatm tenent.

Sir Jac So, that 14 settled : but now to lieal

»the other breach ; Come, majur, tbe geoileinen
•fyiiur rlath Bplrlom beaniialioe; let me iatet^
po*e betweeo you nnd my ion.

Mai, Your Aorv-in-)aw. ur .Tacob, does tleserve
a ciutigutiun ; but on recolkciiun, a cic would bht
Millr my armb. I forgive him.

&r Jac. That's right : an a taken of wniQr, and
Ui celt-hrate our feast, let us call in the nddles.
Nnw, if tlif mnjor had but hi) shoes, be toighc
}040 in a country dance.

Maj. Sir J vxh, no shoes ; a major must be
ocvi:r out of lus bootji ; alwaya ready for actiou.
Mrs Sneak will find loe lightsome enough.

Sneak. What, are all the vomen engaged f why,
then, my locuw tcnent nod I will ji|g m|gU«r,r—
l-'orget and forgive, major.
AiEti/. Freely.

Nor l*e it said, that after all my toll^
I Maincd my regiiucnlalK by a broiL
To YOU 1 (iedicnte bootA, tword, and
'shield.
Sir Jac As harmless in the chamber as the
field.

[Zxeuat omus.

THE

PATRON.

mr

joorjB.

DRAMATIS PERSONA.

MEN.

lift Thohas Loftt, the Patron.

Sin Peter Pepperpot, a West Indian epicure.

Dick Bever^ tn love with Juliet.

Frahk Yodnoer, Im friend.

Sib Roger Dowlas, an Eait India pn^rietor;

remarkable/or ttuttering in hi$ tpeeck.
Mr Rust, on dmird old OHtiquarian,
Mft Dactti., a poet.

MEN.
Mr Puff, a puhUsker.
Mr Staytape, a taylor.

^eT' \ ««TW'»'» *o Sir Thoi«*» LortY,

TwoBlackM.

WOMEN.
Miss Juliet, mece to Sir Thokas Lort.

Scen^^London.

ACT L

SCENE L— Tie Strut.
Enter Beter and Younger.

ToMng. No, Dick, you roust pardon me.

Set, Nat, but to satisfy your curiosity:

Toung. t tell you, I have not a jot

Bev. Why, then, to Kratify me.

Toung. At rather too great an expence.

Beo. To a fellow of your obaervation and tarn,
I should think, now, such a scene a most delicate
treat.

Toung. Delicate ! Palling, nauseous^ to a
dreadfuldegree. To a lover, indeed, the charms
of the niece may palliate the uncle's fulsome for-
mality.

Bev. The uncle ! ay ; but then, you know, he
u only one of the group.

FoKHf. That's true; bot tl)e figurei are all fi-

nished alike. A monier^ • timome
throughout.

Bev. There yon wilt excuse me ; I am m
there is no want of variety. '

Youn0. No ! then let us have « detail. Cooiv
Dick, give us a bill of the play.

Bev. First, you know, there's JuIiet^s node.

Young. wKat, sir Thomas Lofty ! the aDodn
Midas, or, rather (as 6fty dedications will vA
you), the Pollio, the Atticus, the patrao of g^
nius, the protector of arts, the paragon of poc^
deader of merit, chief justice of taste, and swan
appraiser to .\pollo ana the tuneful Nine. %
ha ! Oh, the tedious, insipid, insofferaUe ca^
comb!

Bev. Na^, now, Frank, yon are toocatran*
gant He IS universally allowed Co have ti>t f
sharp-judging Adriel, the miue*s hwad, biMt
amuse.

I

TooTi.]

BRITISH DRAMA.;

SSS^

»

Yaang. Taste f In whom ? undcrlinis bardi
that Kc fccdt. and bniken ly>i)liscller» that he
bribes. Look ye, Dtdi ; what rapturts you plon*'
when MiM Loiiy is yoQt ttictnc, but exftcct iki
quarter for the rest of the t'omilY. 1 tell ihee,
onre for all, Lofty i» a rank impustnr, the Uufu
of an illiberal, lucrci-iuirv tribe-. Iiv Uoa nvillM.-i
genius to create, judgment to disliiigulUi, nor
genenxiity to rewonl ; hi» wtalth has gained him
tiat(er)- from tlic tiidigeiit, ami the haughty ii)«o-
Icoce of bis pretence, adtninuion froiu Uie i|;nu-
isni. Voila ie portrait dc voire oncU ! Now ou
to the text.

Bep. The ingeoiou<i and crudiic Mr RusL

Fmhw. What, old Murttn the medid-mDnger?

fier. The •latne, aiid my rival in Juliet.

Yaun^. Rival ! wliat, Jlust i why, ilic'ft lou
modem for him, by a couple of centuries. Mar-
tin \ why he like* ito hfud> but upon coins. Mar-
ried ! the iiiiiuuDy ! \S'hy. 'tii nut abuvc a fort*
nigh' *Sflt (hot I taw hiin makiot; love to iho (t-
gftre wiihoDl a nose in SoaicrMtf^anJi'nft: 1 caii;^hr
him <tniakiug the marble plait!> of her tcuwti, and
asked bim If he was nut a&h»med tu take auch
liberties with ladies in public?

£ev. What an ittccHutant old sronndrel it ia !

Youtfi. Ub, a Dorimont. But h<iw uime tliis
about f what could occasion thechaiifie' was it
in t)*e power of flesh and bltMid -to reduce tliii
•dorcr of virtu from his nuirhie aiK) porphyry?

Bev. Juliet has dnnf> it ; and, what will itur-
IMiae yoUf his tK»te was a bawd to the bumiesb.

Youiu. Prithee eiplaiit.

£tv. Juliet met him last week at her uncle's :
he WW a little pleased with the Greek uf her
profile; but, on a do»er in(|uiry, he found the
cnm-up of her nitM> lu ciactly reseuUe ttie bust
of the princeM PiHupca.

Vaumg. TIk cboate luuicly of the amiable
Neiot

Jirvi The BRme.

Ytmmg. Uh, the deuce ! tlieo 'your busincs<i
tt 4cine in an instant f

Brv. Immedinioly. In favour of the dp, he
atSend ekart biouche for the rent of the fifiurc :
wbicb. as you may suppose, was instantly caught
L

Vomna. Doubtles.it. Bat who have we here?

Ses. Xliis ie coe of U'tty's cotupanimis, a West
of an oversjruwn 'fortune. Hi- Miveo nie

t iroabic of a portnuL Thia is sir Peter Pcp-
perpoL

£mf€r Sir Petbe Pbpperpot, and tica Blacks.

Sir Pet, Careless acouiidrels ! hark'e, niscata !
X^l buiiiili you home, vmu dogs ! you fthnll Imck,
hnd broil ui the sun. Mr Itcver. your bumble,!
■ir. 1 am ynur entirely devoted.
/kv. You sc«m moved ! what has been the
*t»T, sir Peter?

r ! whv. I ■miuwted to dinner

on n barbicu, and the vtllaim have fo^ot my
hixtle nf chian.

I'tMittg. Unpardonable.

Sir Pet. Av, this country has spoiled thea ;
this same Chriatetung will rniQ tlie colonics. —
'•Veil, dear Bever, rare news, boy! our fleet is
iirrivcd frura llie West.

iter, [lis?

&r Pri, Ay, lad, and a ^orioas cargo of tur-
tle ! It was lucky 1 went to Itrii^hthelmitmie ; I
nicked tlie time to a hnir; thin as a lath, and a
stomach as sharp as a shark's ; inner was iu liner
cuudition for fucding.

iter. Have you a Large iniporcatioD, sir Peter i

Sir Pet. Nine; but tievcn in excellent order :
the captain auures me tliey greatly gained gruuuil
on the voyai^.

ifer. How do you diftp^sc of ihem f

Sir Pet, Four to Comhill, tlirce to Almack's,
ond the two sickly oucs 1 shall send to my ha-
rough in Yorkshire.

youM^. Ay ! what, have the pruriodalB a re-
lish fur turtle ?

air Pel. Sir, it is amazing how this coantry
improves in turtle and lumpikos : to which (pvc
me leave to say; we, from our part of the world,
have not a little contributed. Wliy formerly,
«>ir, a brace of bucks on the mayor's annual day
WHS thought a pretty m^Mtcrate blc^^iti^. But
we, sir, have pulishcd iticir palates: Why, sir,
not the meanrst member in my corporalian but
can distiiq^uish tlie pasb from the pee.

i'oang. Indeed !

Sir Pet. Ay, and serer the f;rcen from the
shell with the skill of the ablest anatooutL

Yauag. And arc tlicv fond of it ?

Str Pet. Ob. that ific cocuuiinption will tell
yon. T\ie stated allowance t^ six pounds to ait
al(U:rmaii, niid live tu each tlieir wivea.

licv. A plriiiiful provision.

Sir Prt. But there waa never known any
Willie, 'llic mayor, recorder, and rector, am
penuiiied to eat lu much as they please.

Youmg. I'lie entertainment is pretty expen-

•Sir Pet. Lnnd-corrtaee and all. Bui I contri-
v&i tu smutr^lc ttio Ibm tnm I «ent them.

Brv. Smu)Ej(le ! 1 d^m't undvrataod you.

Sir Pet. Why. hir, ttic niM?allv coachman had
always charged me five pounds fur iIh' carriage*
Dnuiiied dear ! Now, mv cotik s^inii at the some
Umo into tlic country, 1 mode him clap a capu-
chin upoD tlie turtle, and for ihiny sltillntcs put
him an inside pa^tcnirc-r in the Uoncastcr fly.

yiiun^. A happy expedient!

Hrv. Oh, sir reter ban infuiilc humour,

•Sir Pet. Yea ; but the frolic had like to har«
proved liital.

Yiiin/;. flow so?

.Sir Pet. llic moid at the Rummer, at Hat-
Cic\i\, imputed her head iiito the ciach, to know if
die cwnpaiij wpnki have any breakfast : ecvdy

384

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FoOTB-

Ae tanfei sir, hii bold of her nose, and tbrncd
her face witfa hi* fina, tiU dtc poor tlcml Ml jato
• £t. Ha,b>,l»f

F«nv- Oh, an alMolate Ra&dais *

Bnt.^Y^»t, I reckon, sir Peter, yon mt going
to Aem^fnzcf

Sir Fet. Yes; I asnmeVf adimre sir Tho
IBM: 70U know this is t^ da^ of manemhij; I
' AopfMMe joa will be Uiere ? 1 can uU you, jou
are a wonderful fiurourite.

Bcv. Am I?

Sir Vet. Uc t»y% yxm natniml tpom h dne ;
Bod, when polished by hi» cnlttrmdon, will sur-
nic and utonuh cbe vrartd.

Sat. I hope, «tr, I shall have your voke trith
the pahlic?

Sir Pet. ^fine ! O fie, Mr Beret !'

Bet. Come, come, you are do iocouMterable
]Nitraa.

Sir Pet. He, he, be ! Can't my bat I love to
encouraiie ihc «rts.

Bev, And Itufe oontrtboted tai^ly yourwir

Young. What, is nir Peter an author ?

Sir 2*et. O fie ! what, me .^ a mere dabbler ;
h&TC blotted my finxerw, 'tis true. Some sonnetA,
that have not been thought vrDnttng in solL

Ber. And vour ep^rams.

&r Pet, Not enurdy wicboitf point.

Bev. But come, sir Peter, the lo*e of the arts
u not the sole otuso of your lisits to the houBC
yoo are going to.

Sir Pet. I dun't understand yov.

Bcv. MiM Juliet, tlic niece.

Sir Pet. O fio! what chance ha*c I there?

Indeed, if ladv Pcpperpot should happen to pop
off

fico. I dnn^t know thtic You are, sir Fftter, a
dan)^rous man : and, were I a fatlier or unde, 1
should not be a little shy of your risits.

Sir Pet. P(ha ! denr Bever, yoo banter !

Bev. And (unless I am ntrctncly out in iny
(ucas), that Ind)-

&V Prt. Ilcy ! what, what, dear Bercr?

Brt. Hut if you should hetrsY mc

Sir Pel. May I never eat a bit of Brecn fat if
I Ho!

Prv. Ilints liave bcs^n dropped.

5ir Pet. The devil ! Come a httle this way,

Bev. Wclt-mnde ; iiui robust and gigantic, 'tis
true; but cxtremelv genteel

Sir Pet. Indeed !

Beo. Features not entirely regnlar; hut mark-
ing, with an A:r now, superior; greatly above the
— you undcrsiund mci

Sir Pet. Perfectly. Something noble; ex-
pressive of — fanhion.

Bev. Right.

Sir Pet. Yes, I have been frc<iuently told so.

Bev. Not an absolute wit ; but somcthio!; in-
filUteiv h*<ier : aa enjoucment, a spiiit, a-- —

Sir J tt. Gaiety — 1 was ever so from a child.

Bev, in ibort, your dress, address, wiih a

thou«and other particBkn, Ah «t imMOll fiu^C
rccsUcct.

&r PH. Whv. dear Bew, to teD ifaee the
troth, I hsre aJw^ aJwaied Mtaa Jolin, and ■
delicBte crcocare abe ia : sweet as * iiyiiim,
straight M a bauUn, aad hir Math ■• «U» «
a ncgro'a.

fin. Poetic^ boi troe. Now only cooom;
sir Peter, snch a phntatwo of jirrfrrtinM tote
deroured by that caccrpinar, RuaL ^H

Sir Pet. A tbqDOciafa nub ! Ar« piae-^S
for Miefa muckworaa aa ne * Pll send him a jm
of citrotis and pa^gar, and potsoa the pipkia.

Beu. No, no.

Sir Pet, Or iorite him to dinaer, aad rail ntV
b«ne along with fats carry .

At. Not so precipitaifl : 1 Lhtnk w* may de-
^at him witbottt aav dancer.

S»rP€t Iloi>,boWf

RcD. I have a thought'— but we ion
the plan Kith tlie lady. Coold noc too
die hint that 1 ihooid be glad to aee her
meoL

Sir Pft. Ill do it directly.

Brv, But don't let sir Tboiaai p«K«irc 1

Sir Pet. Never fenr. Tottll fotlow? '

Bev. The instant 1 hare settled natten ...
her ; but fix the uhi fellow, so that At mn as*
be mined.

Sir Prt. ni nail Ub, I warrant; I faanka
opinion tu beg on this manuscript.

Bev. Your own?

5*> Pet. No.

&T. Oh, uh ! what, somtrthii^ new from A*
doctor, vour ehaplato ?

Sir fet. He ! no, DO. O Lord, he^ ekaed I

her. How! ^^

^> Pet. Gone. You know be w»% to defi-
CAie bis volume of fables to me : 90 1 nve ba
thirty poonds to get my amu u^rmvc*^ bopitff
(by wttv of print) tn the frontispiece; tod, 0
grief of griefs! Uw doctor has moved off akli
tlie money. Til sei>d yua Mna JqHet. (Jtat

bev. There, now, is a niecial proleetor! ttr
arts, I think, can't but il'junah inukr satia
Mxceuas.

Young. Ucaven risits with a taata ibeaoUf
fool.

Bev. True; hot then, to justify the AjiiJ»
tion,

From hence the poor are clothed, the bea^M;
Fortunes to booksellers, to authun brcai

Yoit ng. The distribubon is, I own, a hitte sa-
equat ; and l>cre cmne^ a meloncholv tnstaaCT'
poor Dick Dactyl, and his publi^r, Pu£

Cnfer Dactyl amd Pvrr.

Pnf. Why, then, Mr Dactyl, caify lim »
somcDodr else ; there arc people enodab ■ >'■'
tmdc. l^ut I wonder you would meaoW «|A
poetry; you kmm it rarely paya for the p(p*

FOOTE.]

BRITISH DRAMA-

$BS

I

Dar. And how can one bclp lU Mr P»W} go-
Dtus tmpeU; nod wlicn h mnu ii aiii'c Itslrd in
the service of the muse!-

Pttff". Wli*, tetliim pivo ihem wnniiiiga^ vkwi
u be ma. A prettv sort of servirc iivtrpd.
whrrp thero xre it^iiltrr wai>c<t nur vniU ! I'Ik.
niuse»! Ami whnr. I siipfxts^ iliit is ilir livcnr
they 0ve ! Gadzoots, 1 Ujid rather be a waiter ni
BAnebfch.

&T. llic poet and pulilUher nre st variiuice !
Whnt is the lunttrr, Mr Uuctyl?

Dac. A» Oact »hnll judi.'C me, Mr Bcvcr, a»
prett? a poem, and so polite ! n<it a mortal can
lake any utTcncc ; nil t'till of panegyric and
praise.

P«(7! A fine character he givefl of \m works !
Nu otfencc ! the ^rcan^t in the wirlit, Mr Unr-
trl. Panegyric ttiid praise ! and what Mill tliat
du with tlie public r wliv, whu the devil wilt
^re monev to he told, thai Mr Snclt-a-<in« in a
wiwr or bettrr lunn thnn himself? No, no; 'tii
quite and cleiui mit of nature. A iftKid soiiMn^
aatire now, *«c'H nfju'dtfrfd with personal (h*p|ht,
and aea»(^ncd wiUi the spirit "f party ; that de-
molilliet a compiCTiotis chamcier, and sinks him
below oor uwn level ; there, thi'rf, wp nre pleas-
ed ! there we chuckle anil grin, and luss the
biiJf-crowns on the countpt !

ZXk-. Ye*, mid 90 get cripiwd for a libel,

Ptiff". Cropped ! ny, and ihv luckiest thine
Utat can happen to vnu. Why, I would n^il
{[ivc twopence fur an nutlmr that n afraid of his
tfiir&. Wruin>:, writiiiir. 1* fa* I muy say), Mr
Dactyl, a wrt nf warfare, viitfm nwie am be
victor that is the lpo*t afraid nf a smr. Whv,
tooksy sir, I nt-vcr ^oi )>alt tx my porridge bl) I
■DDuntcil at the royal excliniii^e !

HtT. Indeed f

Pu^". No, ni>: that wn* the making of me.
Then my tume made a nt)i<ic ni the world. Talk
of fnrked hillfi, and of lli'lic»>ii! romanhc and
fikbiiluui stutf ! The tnic Castalinn -itruirii is a
ahower of cgg», and a pillory ifie poet's Par-

0«r. Ay, tOTOu, indeed, it may annrrr: but
whu dn we cct for mir fHiiii.i?

Pvfil Whv. wiml the deuce would you pet !
foo*i, lirr, and fame. Why, yint would nut ^rtivk
Hac ! a airpulrni poet i^t a mrmMer, apmdievl
No. DO : spare diet h a »pur i<i the fnncy ; high
freditiK wiitikl bnt founder your I'cpi^ua.

Dttf, Why, ymi imptident, illiterate mscal *
whu i« it you dare treat in this iniinner^

tJ*H^'. Hcv-lnv ! wliiit it tin niallcr now }
3}«f. And 19 ihit the return fur ntl iltcobltKa-
liniw yo« owe me? D<ii no matter— the world,
rite wnrM ^all know what yon are, and how ycni
b»vp UT*\\ me.

pmff. l>n •onr worst ; T (k«ptie yon,
IMf. Tbry •thall he told from what n dnnchill
vnu ■pnir*c- ('OntteiMPo, if then- t* faith iu a
auiikcr, tlini ftlluw uwes every bhiUing to we.

Vol. UL

I

P^ff. Ti ihre !

1)m, Ay. ^irrali. to me. In whnt kind of waj
did I lin'l vou } tlK'ii. w!icre and nhni was 3^ -.
state? Cicntlemen. his ^lutp l*a^ a ^hed in MD0^•4
lolfU; his kiti'hi:^!, a hntkrti pipkin of rhnrcoolM
and his briWhaiubcr under the cuuuter.

PuiY- I in'ver was f<fiid uf eipeocc ; I ever
mindttl inv trade.

Dae. Your tratle ! and pray witJi what ttockj
diH you trade ? 1 can ri»c you tlu- r-olidij|<ur ; JT
believe it won't o»rrburdcn my mrmory. Two
'»dd vutumes of Swift; tin- life 'if Mnll I'lmidcrs
with cut? ; the Five .Senses, printed and c^ijimrcd
hr Ovtrton ; n few claMic*. thumbed and hlottedi
by the boys of the C'liarter<bou>c; with tlte triiil
of Di- Sachcverel.

Puff. Mnlice !

Dac. I'liet), sirrah, I gave you my Cuming; it
wii<i the lir^t SCI vou aflout.

i'«iT. Acruh!

Dnc. And it ift not only mywritinip: you
know, sirrah, what you owe to toy phytic.

Hrc. How! anhrsiciaiif

Dac. Yc*. Mr Hever; ph\'«c and poetry;
ApollD is the pairoD of both : Optfer^iic per or-
htm Hicar.

PujT- His phv«c!

Dac. My physic ! ny, hit physic. Why, dare
yon deny it, vou mscai ! What, have you furguC
niy powderft fur (latiilcnt crudities f

/>(/". No.

Dar. Mt cosmetic lozence and sngar-plunifaitf

Piil): Na

Dac. My rortl for cutting of teeth, my po-
Uons, my loiWxiK, mf prc^nancy-drups, with mj
paste ft»r bup<-rflunns haira *

Puff". No, no ; hare you done ?

Doc. N<», no, no ! bat I believe thu will saf-
ficc for the pretcnt.

Puff. Now, would iKW any mortal boliciethnt
I owed my all to thi« fellow?

Bcv. Why. indeed, Mr Puff, the balatice doe*
seetn in his favour.

Pnfjf. In hisliiroar! why yon doo't fire any
credit to hink? a reptile, a bug, that owes lu«
wrr being to ine.

Dac. J. 1. 1!

Pu(): Y011, y.rti ! Wliat, I aoiipoK you forjget
your tinrrei in Wii>e-ort;cc>-oourt, whi-n you fur*
ni>'hrd paracrnph*. for the Fartlkin^poit it
twelvepcnce a rtofcn f

Dac. Ficiiiin !

pHfT. Then did not T act yoti made collector
of cioualtien to the WliitchiiJl nod H.l.-uncs's?
but ihnt post votir Iniinrss Um ynu. I irntleuien,
be never brouiihl llwru a pilibcnr till llw Kijih-
wnyuiHti was eoim; to lie hniic<-d ; n birth, till rt»«
chrlstenine was over; nara death, idl the hatch-
ment wn» up.

Dar. Mmhtywell!

Puff' And now, hccaune the frlJow hm jol a
I ittle ID Sc»h, by being pufl^ to die pbty-liouM tbts
3C

386

BRITISH DRAMA.

'tra

winter, fto will! Ii, by iln- bv, I pot him appointed)
^ i!t ua proutl nticl tti \Mn as V'oltairc. Bat 1
tliiill sui>it Itnvc hiu) undrr! the \iiaitiuu will come.

Vac. Let it.

Py^' Then I shall have Inm sncaktn^ nnd
rilieiiic. Iiouging about me, and bc^ng a tut of

itiilniinn.

Due. I l>cgi Ii far IraniilntiDn !

i^ii/jT. No, no. not a Imc ; not ifyou woultl do
it fur ln'ti|ic>iirc a flJirrt. Xn iMiiltd Wcl umi
carrot iit imiriiinp : nn more cold pudding and
porter. You ina)* lake your Iciive *»( n\y simp.

Daf. Your iliop ! then al parting I will leave
Xpu a Icffucy.

HfT. O lie, Mr iJactyl !

Pmf. Ixt liini nlone.

J)ae. Pray, gcuiictucu, let me do mysclfjustkc !

Bcv. Yout^cr. restrain tbc publtAltcr b ftre.

yming. Tic, {gentlemen '. sueb nn illiberal coa>-
bat ! it is a ftciuidal to Uie republic ol' IrUers.

Bn}. Mr Dactyl, so old miui, u incchiuuc, b^
neatli

JJac. Sir, I am caIid ; that thaught ha» r«-
stored mc. 'I'o your itiNgniricuncy you w in-
d«btcd Tur aafcty. Itut what tujr genenMaty has
savefl. my pen alinll destroy.

Pii()'. 'Hwnyuu must get wnncbudy to mend it

JJtii.: Adieu !

Puj): Fiirewell ! [Emtmt anrnOf.

ikv. lUi, h», ha! c«ne, let as along to tU
w|iiirc.

BUirlilLOiiiK with reason, wricked wits obbor;
But duucc with dunce is barbaruus ciril wnr.

[EaL

ACT 11.

SCENE T.

Eater Btvcn and YovHatn.

Taune, Fuoii Dactvl ! and dwelU such mittbly
ni^e in little men? I (u>pc Uierc ia liltic dnii{;er
ot' blood»l>ed ?

Ber. Ob, not in the least : tlie giiit zaium,
tlic nulinn of poets, thaush an irritnlile, are yet n
pKicahle people. Thwr mutual interests will
BOi^n hriii^ (hem tn4>(-lhor afinin.

i'auttff. Hut shiitl not ue be talc? The criticn)
scnnte i§ hy thij iimc assembled.

JifT. I warrnnt ynu, fi-ei|iient and full, where
SiBtely Buln, puflld hy cvt-ry quill,
SitkliKe AytiUo on hi*> forked liill.
But you kn'm [ luuu wait for Mi»9 Lrifty; I am
now totally dirccTed bvlicr; she (iives uw: the
key tii all sir ThcuiiaH<t fmhles, Biid prtMribes
tlie nii>^t proper mcihod to feed them; but what
gutKl |iiir|H»^r that tvili prnduce

yoting. Is bhc clever, adroit f

Brr. Doubtless. I tike your asking the que-
stion uf me.

I'ouii^'. Tlicn pay an implicit obedience : ilie
Indieii, in the«c cnsci, generally know what they
are abiiui. 'I he door opens.

Bcv. It is Julif I, and with her old RiisL

You kiiotr rhe kiiij^hl, so no iiiiruduction h

wanted. — \Estt You^t-EB.] 1 should be filad

to hear tuis reverend piece of liunber make
hire i the cottrtslup must certainly be curious.
Ciiud ro.-i:mcn>, »tiuid by; by your leave, 1 will
tiateu a liitle. [Bcv«b retin*.

Enter JrLiKT onrf Hcst.

Jvl. And your enlleciion is Inrgc?

Hiitt. Must aihous and capital. When, tun-
dnii), will you i;iro me leave U) add your cJiarniK
111 the rntnlo^uef

Jul, t) dear ! Mr Tliiitt, I shall but diffnvcc tl.
lif^idt*, sir, when I niarn', [ am remdvcd tn have
Mjr husbiuid all lu uyM:ll' ; uow, for l\w poesessiou

of Toar heiut I sbaU Iiave too many competicorL

nttsi. Ilow, mndaiu? were frotuetbeiu a(f*4
and would animate the Helen dial Aatuli in Wf
h;dl, she slmuld not cost mt a sigh.

Jul. Av, air, there lies my grentestrai
Had I oijy those who are alive to cuotctid
my ussidtiity, alTcrtiun, cares, And cmmMi, I
•iii(cht keciire my cou(|ue8t, tluHjfJi that WftM
he diSicult ; for, I am convinced, were yoih itt
ttust, put up by Prestage to au. lion, ttto Apott*
llekidere would not draw a greater aunbcr of
bidders.

Ru»t. Woidd thiit were the ctac^ madam, lo
I might be thi>ui;hl a proper cooipaiifm to ifas
Wnus de Mi^licis !

J»/. Tlic Oowcr of rhetoric, ftnd piok of
iiieocss ! But my tears are not oonttticd
living ; fur crury nntiun and nge, even
and statuaries, cnnspirc against inr. Nay,
ihe pnmliean ilfself, the very grMJdewei, nM i^
lis my rivals what chance lta<( a niortal tt«
me }-——i shall cerlaiuly laugh m his fare.

Ruit. She IS a delicate ftuhject. — CoddeMM.
^]adum ! Zuuks, hud you beea on mount Ua
^•lieii Paris decided the contest, the Cypnan
queen bad plcndcd (or tlie pippiQ iu cam,

Jul. KxtravHgaul galluntry !

Ilusl. In you, madam, are canoctttered «ll
the beauties of tlie ht'athen invtbology : dK
open front of Diana, the lustre of WHu!

eves

' J«/. Oh, Bir I

RiiU. 'Yhe rhromatic music of Cho, th^
inueraies of Hebe, the imperial tuirt ui'
Juno, with the dt-liimtc ihmples of X'cflUfc

Jul. I itee. »ir, nntiquitv hiu not cnfroK
Vuiir iittniitjon : You nre no novice tn tbe nMR
of woman. Incense, I nv<m, is grmtcful to tuat
of my se» ; but there arc time* whin adtiriBM
.n.\v 1>B diHiwnsed with.

Rust. Madam!

W.OCOr

JOOTE.]

Jul, I wjr, str^ when wo women witlinf;!; wave
our rank in tbo sLivs, uiid wisti tu be [rented lu
mortnls.

R««. Doubtless, madam; and are ytm want-
ing in inmtrriaU for ihHt ? .\o, iimdain; iia in
di^tv you surpass the hf^lhtn riirinincs, 50, in
ibe cnnrnis of attnictioii, yuu liej^iar llie qtievns
of the rarth. The whole world, ni diirt-rciil
periods, hus contribulctl to sevcrtit beautic» to
form vnu.

Jmf. Tlie deuce it has • [AuUr.

Hh*. Sec, there, ttie ripe A«ntic pcrfL-cttoii,
joined lu l)ic ilcttcau: snltncit-* of Europe ! In
voa, madam, I bum to pUM»s (.'Jtupatra'a al-
luring gUnci'ti, Ihc fircek prufile of quccit
Cljitemucttra, the lU>inaii iiuek: uf the etnprf&6
PuEKra.

Ju/. With the roajcfttic mnrdi of qnecn
BcM. Mercjr on me, nlmt a wuntlL-rfut creature
am I !

Rmri. la short, uiadam, nnt n feature ynii
haw, but recala tu iny mind sviue trait iti a
medal or bust.

JnL Indeed \ why, by your account, I mutit
be «■ ■baolute olio, u perfect snUmo^ndjr of
dmnns.

Hu$t. Oh, mndaiD, how can you dcmenn, as I
may say, undcnnhio

Ju/, VaUtr ! tlierc is llio thing! and la (ell
you the truth, Mr KuM^ in tJiat word, vutue, Jies
my srcnte^t olijection.

Jiuit I duuS undcrstnnd you.

JmL Why, rhcn, 111 cipiain myself. It has
heen snid, and I bclknt' witlj some slvadow of
truth, tlut no man is n Iwro to his v.iU-l dt-
ctmiibre ; riow J am nfroirl, when you and I
pow a little more intimnlc, nhicb I supprKc
■Wit be the cmM! if you proceed on your phin,
you will be horribly di^p[>olnlcd in yoiir lii^h
expectations, niirl VKtn Hi-co^Tr ihia Juno, thi«
Cleopatra, nnd pniiccM l'i}))»-«, tu bv tis arrant u
mortal, as inodaui vour uiuther.

Rutr Mndani, I, I, I—

Jut Your piuicnce a rooniriil. Being, tlwre-
desiroua to prCM-T^x: ytmr devotion, I U.^.
lite future, you woalU please to ndnrc at a
■fiitance.

Ituit. To KndTmion, madnm, Luna once listcn-

JaL Ay, hul hr was anntbrr kind of a mortal :
jau may do tcry well uy a votary, but for a huii-
band — tnercy ufion mc !

Hunt. Madam, yuu are not in earnest? not
•rt-ion» }

Jut. Not teritnts ! Why, hnve you the impu*
dence ti» think of tiiarryiuji; a (uddcss }

Rust. C iJmuhl hope —

JmL And w lint should ynutwpc? I tind your
dcv*it>cTfi n-scinhlcB thiit of the uorld ; when (lit:
novier of Moiiin<: n over, mid the sprightly lirit-
runnini;* of life iirr mrkrd oS^ you of^r the
iwohI drcus lo your deity. N'o, no ; you may. if
picuc, turn monk in my ftcriice. One vim,

f brlieve, you will observe better than most uf
them — thaftitv.

Rust. Pennit roC

Juf. Or, if you mu^t ituirry, take your Julia,
your Portia or Flora, vour Fuitt-Finn from Cliiim,
or your K^vptinn Osiris. Vou have long |Kiid
your addresM;!! to tlu-ui.

Ru»t. Marry I what, marble !

Jui. The p^opcrc^t wi\TS in the world ; vou
can't choose amtsi; tliey will supply juu with
at! titat you wojtt.

Ruit. Your uncle bos madam, convmtcd.

Jul. That n mom th:in ever lus niece will.
Coitscnteil ! and tu whnt? to be swathed to a
mouldering mummy? ur be lockvil up like your
mctUln, to canker and rust in a cabinet? No, no;
I was ma«1c fiir the world, and the world shall
not Ik? robbed of its right.

Bev. Bravo, Jultet! ga<l, shcNn tine spirited girl!

Jui: My prtijile, indeed! No, sir; nlicii I
marry, I lnu^t have a man that will meet me tntl
fnce.

Rutt. Might I be heard for n m'Hneot?

Jui To what end ? You say you have sir Tbtj-
mas L/)fly's consent ; I tell yon, you ran iH-vcr
have miite. You nuiy screcii me fntm, or ex-
pose me to, my uncle's rescminrnc ; the choice
IS your own: if you lay the fault at my door,
yuu wilt duubtless ^really distress mc ; but take
the blame on yuurMilf, and I ^liall tmu myself
cxlrcuicly ublii'eil to you.

Rutt. How! confess myself ui the faults

Jut. Ay ; for the best t)iiii>{ a nmn c«n do^
when lie linds he cnn't be bcloied, is to tnkecnra
he if not heartily liated. There I.1 tu other id-
ternattvc.

Hutt. Madam, 1 aiian'l break my uurd willf
air lliomas.

Jal. Nor I with myself. So there's an end of
our ronferencc. Sir, your very ubciliuul.

Rust, Madam, I, I, dun't— dmt is, let mo —
But 110 mutter. Your servant, [^t<.

JuL Ha, ba, Iia !

Enter DcvCR/ron behind,

Btro, 11a, ha, ha! Incoinnutiihlc Juliu-i! boir
the old dotard trembled aim lotu-rrd ! lie could
n'll have l>cen more mllamcd, luid he been rub-
t>cd of Ills Ocho.

Jul. Ay; was ever coddess so familiarly uMjdF
III inv cou<iciciice, I bo^an to be at'ruid t)i.it Im
would treat uic a& the Indinn« do tlu-ir dirty di-
vinities ; whenever they are deaf to llieir prayers,
thev beat nnd abuw; them.

Hcv. But, after all, we are in an nuknard »•
tuutioii.

Jul. How so?

Hcv. I have my ftan.

Jul, So hnvc not I.

B<T. Your oitclc tias resolved tlini vou Uial]
be married to Host.

Jat. Ay, he may dtMrrtc; but it is I that tnu»|
cucute. '

988

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FOOTR,

Bev. Hut nippose he has Riven hU vFord ?

Jut. NVIi^, tlicii ki hiiti rccal it tii;aui.

Bnt. [luL arc jrou mtt ^uu ^llatl have cour-
kgie fucn^li —

/«/, To say »w '' "Hi^t loquires much itioIli-
tion itideetl !

Brr. 'Ilien I am at the heicht of mj hopes.

Jul. Your hope» ! Ygur hopes and your fear»
KTo ill-rounded alike.

Bn\ Why, ymi are detenuined not to be hi» ?

Jut. Well', aiirl wtmt then ?

JJftJ. What ihen f why, then you »»ill he mine.

JuL ladecd ! and it that rbc nniiiml come-
qtKiiccf whoever Wfint bt his, mu»t be ymiref
Is that the \iif^c of IJKtVird ?

Mrv. MadaJn I did tlattcr myteir

JuL Then ynu did very (vrvin^ iudeed. Mr
BovLT : you Bhuuld ever euani apoinsl Hatu-riiic
your»rtf ; fur, of all dungerouK pars!.it£S. ^i( is
«bc wor»L

£ev. I am astonished !

Jill. Afttoiiiftheil ! ytu an* mnd, I lielieve !
Wiiy, 1 have mt knoM-n you ahniea nrnnlh. ll is
truv, n»y oncle savs votir father is his frieml ;
^nur foniinp, in time, n ill hceas)'; your ficurv
13 not rcinarkalilr faulty; and ««■ to your uiidet^
fttandinic, poa&able cnouuh fur a young fcllovr, whn
hn» not seen much of the world ■ but when one
talk.s uf a liu»band — L><ird. 'tjs quite anntlicr sntt
of a — IIji, liB, ha ! Poor Bt-vcr, Ikjn he starCs !
be »nnd« like a Muiue!

^T. .Statue ! Indeed, madam, I nm very near
pet n lied.

Jul. F.vpn then, ynn will male asp^^d n huv
band as Kniit. But f.n, run, and jiiin the as^in-
bly Hithiti; be nttcnlive to every word, mirtiou,
and Inijk of my uncle's ; be duinb, wlicn he
BfMMikft ; admire ntl he »iavn : Inugh, u-ht-n he
tunirks; buw, when Ik ^neeiea; In short, rnMii.
Butler, and crintie ; don't be nfmid of m-erloftd-
iiiK Ins htiMiiacIt ; for ibe knitiht has a ouhle
ilier>ii(in, iumI you will ijnd Mnne there, who nil!
Lrep you iu Luuntcnnnce.

pro. I fty. -V), then, Juliet, your intendou
was (Milv to try

Jut. t)t)n*t ptapuc roe with imfterttnent f)ne^
l)i>ii«; innn It ; nbty ntv liirectitms. We ina>i
Icnvc liie iMuo to chance; a trenter friroH li)
mankind thnn they are uiilmi: lo ohu. Oh, if
aiiv lliini* ni-'w •Jiuuld otx'ur, vimi may omie n.co
the dra« ing-rooin for further icnrruriionn.

[Ejtcunl uvcratft/.

SCENE 11.—A room in Silt Thomas Lomt's

Sir Tuohas, Rvst, Pt-rr, Dacttl, untf ofAert
ditcvrcred $tltiiig.

Sir Tho. Niilhin^ new to-day from PnrnaMUB P
J>M<r. Not lltat ( henr.

S*r '/'Am. Nothing critical, phiiowpbical, or po-
litical ^
t^\ Nothing.

Sir Tho. Then, io this difptte, thii dearth ff
invention, f^Tc me lej^e, p^utkinen, to diMnbutc
my Mores. I have lierc ni uiy lutud a bttk
uiiari, wtyrical epigmu ; Dew. and prefiil;
puniti-d ; ill «liurt. a production, rbiu Martjal him-
telf would not have blushed lo aeknowM^

Kust. Vounmn, Mr rbomuf

&ir T/ia O, Ge! no, tent me this moniio^fr
tionyui"US-
' J)ac. Prat, sir Thomas^ let us h»ve it !

Alt. Bv ul means; by all luoous.

Sir Tlio. [Kea4ti.j '

lo PuiLtlS.

Iliink'st tbou, food Pliillis Strephoa told dm

true,
Ait)felt> are painted fiiir to look like yoa?
AnutlitT stuty ail the town »»ill tell :
Phill» paints fair, to look like an >n-gel.

All. Fine ! fine! vrry fine*

Daf. Sitrh an v»sv and ainiplirity !

l^Uff". The turn so unctpecteit and quick!

knit. The tntire sn poignant !

Hir Tfta. Yes I llnnk it poMcftKX, in BB nt-
nent dc{>rec, the three epiKnmtaticml raqaista;
brevity, fluniliarity, and *c»mty,

Phillis paints fair to look like on au-^.

Dae. Ilnppy! Is the Phillis, tlw sul^cct,aM>

crct '

Sir Tha Oh, dear me ! noitiins pcnoaal; DO;
an impromptu; o mere fr«i tfraprit.

I'nff'- l^ui, ur Hiouuu, the ircrct a ool; c
is yuur own.

X)ar.. 1'liai wn* obrious enunch.

}'iijf. Who 13 ilwre cbe could huvc wrote ilf

/itiif. True, true !

Sir i'lio. The name of the aulh<v is mHUl
So ii in an iirr]iiisition to tlte rr^Hiblic »»<' Wfr
ter% any geuU«.mau may claim the (MfiC Ah
will.

Pu(f. \W\qX a nnUa contempt !

Due. Wliat |;rcatTM>M of mind I

Uuil. Scipio and l^liu^ wire tbc Rontu
b>fty's. Wliy, I dftre (»cl>eve »tr Thumat *»
U'Cn llie making: of half llicauthnr
IV a^ ( muy &<iy, I he crrai inoF'
oilier poGis arc but pedinrs, that liw :..
his »«n?y.

AU 11m ha, ba! welt oUrrvrd, Mr Knit*

Sir Tho. I In. ha. Im! Motir atfne/aoima^
Why, to pursue the mctapbnr, it -jr TH**
Ijtjfiy was Iu call in ht« ^Htciu-nl i'. -
ihere Mould he a good uiany Ua, .
Muse*!! Ca/ette.

^//. IU, ha, ha !

Sir 't'hu. Hut, n prop'Ht, prntlnmen ■ w^ i^
g«n) to the cdipM: ; yuu fuund my tatcaU''
exact i

Dttc. To a digit.

SirTlio. Total dnrkness, inderil! and I**
iroiniE tu r(N)!>t ! 11h>w j-lnl'tniaCh*. thuvalW
uack-makcrs arc Uw taost ignanuu r«al^-"

:

FoOTE.3

BUmSH DRAMA.

I

I

Ttf(f. It i^ nmazinir where ittr Tbonuu Lofiv
Mores all btk LmtM ledge.

Vae. U » woDdcrful how the mind of laon
can oootnin it.

Sir Tka. Why to ictt yiMi Uic truili, tliat cir-
ttaooe baa a g'XHl deal ciyni^f^d m^ iiticiitiuii :
aud I believe you will arJmit nir nictfiotl of sot-
Tini; the phetKmivnun philu!)'j|:Jiic»l tuid inj;'cm<iu»
covueh.

/"«//'. Without question.

Ail. Doubtlr»».

Sir I'Ao. I suppose, ^titlomcn, my mr-mu-
ry, nr nitiid, to bu n diCftt uf drawer*, a kind nl'
buKBu ; where, in sepornie celJules my didereut
knonledgt on ihlTvrenl subjects is btoicd.

Rmit. A protli^ioua ditK.'OVcry !

AIL AniA/ing!

Str Tho, To this cabinet, volition, or will, ha^
« key; wi, when an anhjoui subjt-et occurs, 1
unkwk my burruu, pull nut the pnriiL-ular dinw-
er, aiid aui supplied with wluit I woiit in an iii-

iJae. A Miilbrnncb !
Fuff. A Ouvle !
^ A Locke!

Snler Servant.

Scr. MrBerer. [EjtU.

5*r 7*Aa A youitg ^fntlemim from (Hlbnl,
veoommeoiled to mv cnrc bv lii» imher. The
ODtitrMtv hus given fiim ai^<ind twilid Dtiric Touii-
flaUun; :uid when Ik Iikh rccevcd rmia you a
few Tuscan tnw^hes, the f<mic and CurmlSinn
emcc*, I make no duubi hut ho will pruvo u
CoinixMite pillar to the republic ofletten.

Enter nvrtn.

This »ir, U the school, fmm whence so rnnny ca-
pital luuten hnvc tMucd ; tlic river thai cnrtcheit
Owe ropons of Mueiice.

Dae. or which river, slrTltomas you are thr
aourre; bcrcwer]uaff! Et purpureo bilumaiotr
■MC/ar /

Sir The Purpurro*. Dvlicatr>, indeed, Mr
Dactyl. Do you hear, Mr Ucvcrf Bilitmiit ore
neeiar. Yuu vnunc f^entlcmen mun be instruc-
ie«| to rfuute; nutlunn t<iics a pcruid raorv sptni
tlian a hnppy quotulKin, nor lin»^ indeed, a finer
•fcci at the liend of ait cuMiy. i'uor Dick Met- 1!
I have obli::ed him with uianv a nioito I'ur hiA

fttptiVf {MCCi^V

S^uff. .\y; and with the contents, tOd^ or sir
Richard i> (bully belied.

F.ntcr Sf-rtant.

Sitr. Sir ttnccr Dowliw.

S*r T%o Pmv. desire bim to enter- [Erit 5rr-
WMf .] >ir Kji^fr, jfrntlenim, is a cmtHitlerable
TcjM India proprietor; and seems de«irou» of
eAllrrtJMC, froin this Icnmcd nwembly, somA rhe-
loncaJ Quwtrs, wluch lie hopes to strew, wiib ho-

iinur to himself and advantage to the companvi
at Merchant- lay tor&' Hull.

aylorV
£ii/iTSin Roger Doa-LAS.

Sir Ito^. he seated. Thi* e«nllcmnn has in
common willi the greatest omtor tht world ever
law, a »>mall natural tnlirmity; he Mutlcrs a lit-
Uv : but I havt prrscribetl the siime rcotcdy that
DemaKthencs u&cd, awl don't despair ufn mdiciit
Lurc Well, ur, hare you digested thoac geacrai
rulea ?

Str Roc. Pr — ett— y well, I am obli — ged to
yun, ftir Tlioiuas,

Sir Tho. Iltive you been regular in taking
your tincture of sa^e, to give you coulidcocc I'ur
ipriikuiifiii public?

Sir Hog. V^-cs »ir Thomas.

.Sir I'lio. Did you opcu at th^ tut general
court?

Sir Hog. I attem — p— ted fo — ur or 11 ve

Uiue&.

S*r 7'ho. What hindered your progrcM ?

Sir Hitg. TJie pc— b — bles.

Sir 'Ao. <Jh, Uie pebhlc« in his mou^. But
they are unty put in m practise in private ; yuu
should take tlieiu out, wIkq yoa arc addrc&uog
(hu public-
Sir Ritfi. Ye*; I will Tor the fu — ture:

Sir Tho. Well, Mr Rust, t^u had a trte-o-tete
with my niece. A-pni|tos Mr Hever, here, affi^n
a &nc occasion for you ; we shall lake the hlierty
tu trouble your Muse on their nuptiaU: (>,

Love! O, Hymen I here prune ihv porplo

w in(;»; trim thy bright torch ! Hey, Mr Dcvcr f

Her. My talents are at sir ['bumas LofW's
direction ; ihough t must despair of pnMluciag
any pcrfomuinre worthy ihc nttcntJun ofsoooui-
plcle a judE:.e of the rle^tattt arts.

Sir 'no. Too mudcsi, good Mr Bever !——
Well, Mr Rust, any new acquisitiaii, linoe oar
last mcetiiig, to your matchless collectioa ?

Rtat. Why. sir Thomas, X have both Umi aod
■gained. Kioce I saw yon.

Sir i'ko. Low ! 1 uni Mrrv fur that.

Riut, Thf* cuhuus sarcupKicus, that was lent
me from Naplcit hy >iigninr Bflluni-- -

Sit Tho. Yuu uicau tlvc uni, that was suppCH
3ed to L'ontain the du¥t i>r.^i:nppa?

Hutt. Suppirti-d ! no doahibut it did,

Sir Tho, 1 h<>pe wu uuiiiier accidcut to that
inestimable rehct of Romcf

Huat. ' ris t;onc.

Sir Tho. Gone ! oh, illiberal \ what, srtalcn, I
suppose, bv some ccmiMnicur i

Kuif. Wurw, w(»r«e; aprty, a martyr to »p»
iioraiice; a liouMMuaid, tluit 1 hired Inst weelL
mtsitook it for n broken gn-cu chnmbcr'pot, atMi
Menl it away ill thr dustcart.

Sir Tho. bii£ mchts impaU!iiL<— ^-Ob, clia
Hdo!

Dae. The Vatidal !

J

390

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FoOTR.

AIL The VUiKoih !

Riitt. Buc I have this dnj aoquiml n trea-
sure, that will, ta some uicasure, muLc uic a-

Sir Tho. Indeed ! what can that be ?

Puff, lliat must be souMAluog canous, io-
deedf

RuMt. It bu cou me infinite trouble to get
it.

Doc Great rarities are not to be had niihoot
unB.

Ru%t. It is tliree months ai^o, since I got the
first scent of it; sntl I had been ever since on
the hunt, but nil to no purpose.

Sir Tho, I nm quite upon thoms till I sec it.

Kust. And yesterday, wlion I hod given it
over, when all my hopes were grown df.s[>erate,
it fell intn my hnndii hy Uic mo»t unexpected
and wonderful nccidcnt

bir Tbt). duod ojjtuHti divum promittcre nemo
Audtntf xv/vaida dir$ ea attulit ul-
tra.
Mr Bcver, you mark my quotation ?

bcv. Mo5t huppy. Ob, sir, nothing yon say
can be lost.

Hutl. 1 have broqght it here in my pocket; 1
am no churl; I love to pleasure my friends.

Sir 2'fio. You are, iVIr Rust, extremely obli-
ging.

AiL Very kind, very obliging, iwked.

Rust., It was not much hurt hy the fire.

Sir Tho. Very fortunate.

Ruit. The edzt-s are soiled by the link] but
many of the letters arc encecdingly legible.

Sir Rog. A lit — tie roo— m, il you pi— ease.
I Ruit. llere it is; the precious rr^mains of llic
Tcry Nortih^Briton, tluit wu^ burnt at tbe ICuyal-
('xchiince.

Sir Tho. Number forty-five f

Rust. 1*hc same.

Rrp. Y»u nre a lucky mnn, Mr Raiit.

Rutt. 1 thuik so. iiut, gentlemen, I hope I
need not r^ve you a cintion : hush ! sih-ncc . no
words on thift matier.

J)ac. You mny depend upon us.

Rutt. For H« the poper lias not sufTercd the
biw, I dun't know wlicthcr they may not seixc it
agaiu.

Sir 3'Ao. VVitli us you arc safe, Mr Hi»t.
Well, youne gentleman, you see we cultivuie alt
bmiKhea of science.

Btv. Amatiu^, indeed ! But, when wc consi-
drr you, ur Thumns, in tlic directing, the ruling
plnnet, our wonder subsides in an ins(ant.-~—
Science ilr<>l saw tlie diiy, with S«MTnti-4 in the
Attic portico; her enrly years were sjicnt with
Tully in the Tusciilan shade : luit her npe, ma-
turer hours she enjoys with sir rhuinas Lofty,
near Cavei>di*h-«iiinrc.

Sir Tho. The mr>st classical cum|>Uinent I ever
revived ! Oealtemcu, & pbilosupincul rcpsut at-

tends your ncceprnnce within. Sir Roser, roalf
Irnd the way. [Kxeunt ull but Sta Tuovft« imd
Utvtit.] Mr Hc«cr, may I b« rour ear for ■
uioniem ? Mr lli:ver, the fr»-naship 1 hare fiw
)Our father, secured you, at Ars>, a enuiuus re*
ocption from mc: butwhat I then pni*l tonnqld
obligation, is now, sir, due to your own ponienlM'
meriL

Bfv . I am happy, sir Thomas, if—— ■

Sir Tho. Your patience. There is ia yon-1
Bever, a lire of imngiutttioo, n quickness of j
prchf>osinn, a solidity of iudpnent, joined to •
depth of diiicrf tion, that 1 never yet met witJi la
any subject at your time of life.

Bro. I hope 1 shall never forfeit

Sir Tko, I nm sure you never will; and tP
k^ive you n convinciug pn«of that 1 think in, I am
now going to lru» rou with tbc most imporaukl
Mcret iif my wlwle life,

Hrv. Yuur confidence docs me grmt hnncmr.

Sir 7^0. Bot tliis must be on k ceruin canA>
tioii.

Hro. Name iL

Scr 7^0. That yo4] give mc your solnn
promise to ooiapl/ witli one request I shall make
you.

hcv. There is nothing sir Thomas \j^j can
ask, that I shall not cheorlully grnnr.

Sir Tho. Nay^ in hut, it will b« scrrtng year-
self.

BfV. I want no such itnlucement.

Sir Tko. Enough, But we can't be too pri-
vntc. [SAh(« thr door,] Sit you duwa. Yi
Christian uniiic, I tluuk, if —

Rev. Uichard.

SirThn. True; tho wiinc tut your illlltef^!
come, let us be familiar. It is I think, dor
Dirk, arknou'lrdi;ed, that ihp ^Jl<Il)^h Imve rrarii-
fd llic highest pilch of pcrfccliuti in c*vn de-
partment of writing but oiic — the dramatic f

Ii<-v. Why, tlie French critics are a httJe «-
xcre.

Sir Tko, And witli rcasoa. Now to itsmc
our credit, mid, at the same time f(ivc my cooft*
try a uilkIcI, iSt^nrii a Manuacript.^ sec hair.

iJrv. A play !

Sir Chn. \ chefif^rnvre.

ht.v. Yuur own ?

Sir Tio. Speiik lower. I am tlie nothnr.

Rev. Nay, then there pin be no doubt of ^
merit.

Sir Tho. I think not. Von will be cXtttad
»jth the ^uhjcct.

Hcv. Whnt is it. Mr Thomas? *

Sir Tho. I shall sorprisc yon. The slofj of
Riihitison Crusoe. Are not you struck f

Rep. .M'lst prodigitiusty 1

Sir Tho. Yes; 1 kitew ibc very litJi wtniMli*
yon. You will find Ore whole fahle it (iiwlvo^
dui'tcd; nnd the cliitittctcr of t'nility, yaa^a^
inc/ifo, nobly supported thriHighout.

iivu. A pretty diliinilt task.

FOOTE.]

BRtTTSH DRAMA.

m

I

I

Sir Tho. Troc i (hat was not a bow for a boy.
The pietT has Untg been in nticnrsiil at Prury-
Liuic play^iQuac, and tJiis ntglit u to moLe its
B|ipcarance.

Hrv. To-nipht ?

Sir T^ Tins night.

Jter. I will oltciid, and ergage alt my friends
10 support it.

Sir Tho. lliat in not my purpose; the piece
will waul oo such assistance.

JitT. I bcp pardim.

iwr Tfio. 'liiP iiuiiiaccr of that house (who,
you know, is a writer htiiiBctt'^ fiadiac ull ilic ii-
itunyinous thinp he produced (JudceiJ some of
ibvin wreirlicfl eiMiU|;h, and very uimurthy o(
hiixij pTaccd lo his uccuuiil by the public, i> ilc-
tefmincd to exhibit no moic witliuut kiioiriog
the name of Ibc author.

Ker. A reasonable caution.

Sir Tho. Now, upmi my promise (for T appear
to patronise Uie play) lo Hiiiioiince the nulhur Ixv
fore tlic curtain drawi up, Kobtnsuu Crusoe u
adi'trtiM.'d t*'>r this evening;,

Jicv. Oil, ihea you wUI acluiowledgc tlie piece
to be vnun^

Sir'no. No.

iJrr. Hew, ilicn'

Hir Tin, My design is to give it Ut jou.

BfV. To roe ?

Sir Tho. To you.

At. What ! me the nutliur of Kobiiuoo Cm-
•oe>

Sir Tho. Ay.

UtT. l/ml, dr ThomaH, it will never gain cre-
dit ! so oosiplete a productioa tike work of a

stripling! Desides. ilr. as tlio merit u
why roh yuurM-lf <»f (he glory?

Str Tito. I am eutircly inditferent to that.

ikv. llien, why take the trouble f

Sir Tho. My fondness for letters, and tove of
my Ortuniry. ' Bevirles, dear Dick, though the
pauci ct welectt, tbe chosen few, know the full
value of a performance like this, yet tho icno- '
roni, the profane (by much tlie majnrily) will bft
apt to think it an occupation ill suited to mj
time of life.

hrr. Tlieir c«^nMjre is praise.

Sir Thn. Duub(le^4i. Hut, iiMleed, my princi-
pal mniire is my friendsliip lor iiou. You arc not* ■
a candiilate for htcrury huiioura, and I am der
lermiued Lo fil your fame on an initnaTi:abla
baais.

Bco. You are most excessively kind; but.
there is loiiiething so distagenuous in sietdii^ re- J
puTntion from another man.

.Sir Tho. Idle punctiiiu !

Jiti\ U puts mc so in miiKJ of the daw in th«
fable.

.Sir Tho. ('ome, come, dear Dick, I won't suf-
fer your inodcxiv to murder your fume. Out [
the company mil !>u6pcct somcthinf; ; we will
join them, and proclaim you the author. I'hcrey j
krcp (he Copy ; ti> you I conviEn it for ever; it
shiJl be a secret to latest postcntv. You will
he smolht-red with praise by our friends; they
sliall all in tlicir bark to the play-ltousc; ana I
there.

Attendant sail.

Pursue the triumph, and partake the cule. '

[Eteunt.

ACT UL

SCENE L

Enfcr Bevkr, reading,

Bevrr. So ends tlw first net. Come, now for

|bo •eoHid. * Aft (lie H-cond, »ho«i»p/ — the coi-

nb hiis prefaced every act with an arftumeni,

in humble iiaitaiioii, I warmni^ of Mon^.

I>iderLrt ' Shnarin}; iIk* fatal vlVccu of diMilv-

di«fK« lo parents ;* with, I suppose, the riiverliiti:
ene of a gihhc-t ; an eiitriciinin!; subject for
aansedy ! And the blockltend i* us pruhx ! eiery
i Kiene a» loni; as ait botnily ! Let u^sec liow does
lhi«eud? ' lUit C'rubnc, und enter Mime savages
danvintc a nrahiuul.' 'lliere i« no bearing tliis
aboounablc tntsh.

£nfrr Juliet.

So, mnil;)m; thanks to your adriro and dirrclion,
, J ma cut JMtn a tine situation.

Jul. Whrit is ilw ni:iitcr now, Mr Bever?
r. ilie llubuuoii Crubor.

JuL Oh, the pinv. that is to he acted to-nii!;hL
How Brrn:t tuu were! Who, in the world, would
lin\e guc3»ed yiiu nai the author ?

licv. Ale, madiim !

Jui. Your title is odd ; but, to » geutus, every
subject is good.

Bcr. You are inclined (o be plcasnnL

Jul. Within, they have been all pr(Mtie;i<iuslouit
in the praise of your piece; but I thitik my niH
fie rninermnrc cngcr than any,

Hiv. He has reasun; for fatherly funduca'
cues for.

Jul. I dnn'i nnderstand you.

Hfv. You d'Hi't ?

Jul. No.

BtT. Nay, Juliet, this is too moch : you know
it is mme r>f my pUiv.

Jul. WUuM- then r

Jicr. Your uncle's,

Jul. My uncle's ! TTien how. Id tlic name of
woiuler, ciimc you tn ftd>ipt it f

Bfv. At Ins earnp'rf rci|uest. I may be a fool?
but ranembcr, uwdatii, yuu arc tl«B came

39«

BRITISH DRAMA.

M. This » <ursRg« ; but I can't couccitc whiit
his motive couhl W.

Hev. His ntulivc i» ohviouftruoiieh; to acrrcn
[ hiin«cll' rriim tlir inruniv uf botlig lite author.

JmL Whnt, 15 it (.ml," then?

£cv. Bad ! tuost inrrninl !

Jni. Ami yoti Imvc CMrucnted to own it?

Iter. Whf , (vluLt could I do ? Ue in a nuumcr
•oiiiiM'llcd xnr.

Jul. I «m extmnvlv ghtH of it

B<T. Ginil of ii ! Uhv, 1 tell you 'lis ihc most
dulk inhou*. iDC-lfinrhulv

Jul So muth tite bet'lcr.

HfT. The mi»sl flat pi«ce of frippery that erer
' Gnih-Mrpct proHlKCcL

Jut. Su much the hetlrr.

licv. Ir will he dafiiiii-d before the third act.

Jut. 80 miK-h thr bcucr.

Bcv. And t qlmll be booted and pointed at
wherever I go.

JhI. So niurh the Iwtlcr.

hrv. JKi much lUv liCLl«r ! Zouods ! So I sup-

Efisc viiu would say. if I wns poing to ho. ImnEcd.
lo jfin aill thi» A nttirk of your friendship?

Jul. Ah, Hever, Be%'er \ You ure a mtwnible
pohiidaii^ do you know, now, ihnt ihii is tike
lurkieM incidrnf thut ever occurred?

Rtr. Indwir

Jul. It could not Itave been better laid, Imd
frcplanitwl it our5rI%»'fl.

iter. Vou will pardon mj *Yant of conception ;
hui these arc riddles.

Jul, That nr prcKill T hnvc not time to ex-
plain. But what nuiliC5 yon loiTcring here? Pii^t
MX o'clofli, 05 1 Ine ! Whv, yiiur pluy is Ijcyun ;
nui, run to the house. Was ever nutlwr so Uttlt-
anxious fur the fnie of hiA picte \

Btv. My piece !

Jiti Sir 1 houms ! I know him by hit walk. —
Fly ! nud pray all ll»e way for the full of ynor
play. Aiid.vki \^>tl Iiear? if you find tU* nudienct*
too Hidulucnt, iitclined to Im* inilky, rallier Ibaii
fnil, sqncr/u m an acid ^ouriflf. fMi, Mr Bercf,
at your rctuni, lei me see ynn hoforc you po tn
my nncU-: diat is, if yuu fia%c tlic gtxKl luck lo
W' damned.

Bev, Yuu need not dtaibi tint. [Exit.

XnlcT Sir Thomas Lornr.

Sir Itia. S<i. Juliet ; wm not thnt Mr Elever ?

Jut. Yes* Mr.

air Tka. lie h rather lanly : by this time hit
du*c is come on. And lam i*thc youii'^ cenile-
tnan nifrcteil ? For thin it u trvins occasion.

Jul Me Wi'itis prdly crrlam, sir.

Utr Tho. Iinletd I ilinik lie lia* very lidlc rea-
tou for frar. I confci-s I ndinirr the piew, and
feel M much for its fiite, a» if (lie wurk was niy
own.

Jut. Thai I most sinccn-lv K'lln-e. I wonder,
■ir, you did nut dtuuM to be prrtcut.

•St> 'Fhu. Better not. My aflbrtiona are stronc^
.Tulict, find my nerres but leoderlv ittrun;; Ktw-
ever, intellieent people arc planted, wtio will
brini; ntu, erery act, a faithftd account of tbe
proctM.
Jul. That will answer your pnrfio%e as writ
•Sir Tha, Indeed t am pa^^nnately fund of the
an*, aii^l llicrefure can't help^-^-did noc loai^
body knock? No, lUy good iiirl, will yoa tlrp
and tidic can* thar, when any biMly coines, tV
serrnnts may nni be out of the wat ' — [ £jiI Jt -
tin.]— Kivc-ojul-thirty mmules pK&t *,i\ ; by thi»
time the fir^t act niu^t h« over : Juha will be
presently here. I tliink it can't tail -. vet tScrr «
»i much wintii and caprice in the putiiic (•i>uii>«.

that thi» youns mao u unknown ; they II %nt

him no credit. I had better havr iiwnrd it aw
if\\': reputation goes a tcreal viuf in t>ici<e not-
tcre; pe'>ple are afraid tn 6nd fault; tbrr uc
cautious in rcflsuring the work% nf a man. wh"*—
ilush! thnt'she: no; 'ti^only the Stutters. S^
ter all, I think f have cbusen the be&t wav; i<a
if it soccpols to tl>e degree I expect* it will bs
easy to rirculalc ttie rcai name nf the autfaor; ^
t fails, I am concealed ; ray fame iut6EBrs ■•-
There bfr i<t — [ Ijjud knixking.\ — t ^ui'l u)OCP»a
what kept him so loc^.

T.nter Jonir.

Sn,.Toht>; well; and — but yoq hare hem a iMae
trnua while.

Jvhn. .Sir, 1 was wedped so duse in <tit pil.
that I could scarcely pec out,

Sir T/to. 'Hie iKniM* was full, then ?

Jt>An. As an ttf^ Nr.

Sir T/in. That's ripht. Well, John, and M
nu\tter% )£o ^winnninply ? llrY?

/o/i». Ejiccedincly well, «r.

Sir 'flkn. MxiYedin^iU well. I doo'l 60^ «-
What, vtut clapping and roars of apphutaet I ■{-
pot^e f

John. Very well, air.

Sir Tfto. \'cry well, sir! You are dnmaed ea»-
tive, I tiniik. But did not the pit aad bu0
thunder acain?

Joha. 1 can't say tliere «r&s over-niudi tbu^
der.

Sir 'Vho. No! Oh, -attentive, I recboa? .V*>
altrnlioii ; ibal '» the irue^ solid, subetantial a^
(ihitiM:. All clw miiy l»e purclutard ; haiKKiaan
at they are hid '. but when the audience n \mh-
ed. -Ill), afraid ni loMiig a wtmtI. ilien

.AtAa. Vcs ; they were very t^oiet. indeed. «.

Sir Tho. I like ihem the t»etter, John ; a rff*"e
ni!ii-k uf tlicir great MtiMhililv. Did vnu ace B«^
hin^

Jiyfrn. Yfs, sir; he'll he here in a Irice; I W
ItiMt li-tcning nt rhc Imck of ihe b(*\es sad rW*
ced liiin to rmike all the haMe borne ilal k»
could.

Sir Tho, That** rifiht. John; trtj wdt; J^
1

FOOTB.3

ITISH DRAMA.

I

lucoiint plemses me modi, hcwcst J(*lin. — [Esii
JoHX.] — \«, I tlid not expect llic first net would
produce anr pn«li(;iuoi eiTrd. And, »ftpT all,
tlic fim act lit but m mere intmHuctian : jii't
tiffefts lb* busioms, tKc plot> Atiri gives k liiUe itt-
MShc mto tbft rhsracton ; w timt, if ^ou but e»-
up nnd uiicrcsi tiic Iioum--, it it u I'niicb ns tbc
Mat wntur cui Aut — [A'wocdtJiy; teitfunti.] —
Cadw! What, Robin already? Wby, tJic fclUw
lias Cfae fieet of a Mercury.

£nter lloais.

W^lt. Bohto, and vtlat newt duvua bfing'
iU*. 1, 1. 1

Sir Tka. Stop, Hubio, and recover jrour breatli.
—Now, Robin.

Hob. There hu been a wounilv uproar be-
low.

Sir 7%o. All vpruar! What, at the ptay-
bouie f

R«b. Ay.

.S*r Tho. At what r

Rok I doa\ know : belike, al the worda lite
pUY-fvlIc were talLioK.

S§r 'Vho. At the playerft? How can that be }
Oil, liuw I begin lu pcnxivc. I*cv»r feliow, lie
knows but little nf |ilaT> : Whul, Itnbin, 1 sup-
PQM* haJlooint:. and cln|^iag, and knocllin); uf

' Bak. Halltnini; ! Ay, and hooting too.

Sir Tho. And Wmdng ?

Hab. Ay, and hinintt to booL

3ir Tko. liitMntt ! You muat be inbtaken ?

KiA. Ry ih« tuius, but [ luu not !

Str jHti. Impn^blc ! Uh, mo*t lifcoly »me
flIruiiLen diMHricrly fcllawn, that were disturbing
tlie liouWf and intcrrtiptin^ ilic ptav; too roiii-
uioo aca»e; the people ncre hi^ht. they ticsef ve<J
• rebuke. Did tuit you hear them cry, Out, out,
uut !

Ii«6, Noa; tint was not the cry ; 'twu OA;

Sir Tka. That was a whimsical noise. Zounds!
, dttt omt be the players. Did vou observe uo-
fAfa^ehe?

/iM. Belike the f|iiarrol first tie^an hetween
tb« geatry and a bikct-u-nioor man.

&r Tint. V\'tlh Frid.iy ! TUe puUic taste is de-
, 4iMi<iied ; honett nature is bm plain and »iraple
I lor their vitiated puhttcs !

FJn/er JcLlCT.
Juliet, R/>bin hnii'i) mc the strnn^cst account !
n»c little disturbance ; but I suppose it was
NNi settlei] a^aiii. Ob, but here comes Mr
I Startapr, my tailor; he is a ratiooal being; wc
'■Ui be able lo raoke Bomethinj^ of tiim.

Kuter Staytapk.
%m, Siavupc; what, is tbc Uiiid act over alrco-

Statf. Over, n-t no; nor nevtr mil be.
VguUL

Sir Tho. VrtiDt do you mem ?

Stu^. Cut sliort.

Sir TAo. I <l'in*t compn-iiend toil

Slay. Why, sir, the uoct ha* made a miMalfiB
in atMSiirinc the taste of the town : il>e goods '^
soems, did not fit; v> Uiey returned thciu upoa
the gentleman's hands.

Sv- Tko. But your aSeciatioo ood qtsiotne!^
you puppy ! Speak plain.

&ay. Why, then, nr, Kobbison Crusoe U
dead.

Sir Tfto. Dead !

Stay. At ; and wh« is worse, will never riaa
any more. You will soon have all the particu-
lars; fur ttiere were four or five uf your friends
clone at my benla.

Sir 1%). Suytape. Juliet, run and stop them !
Say I am gone out ; 1 am sick ; I nrn enga)^ :
but whatereT you do, be sure you don't lut Bevcr
O01UC in. .^LTure of the victory, 1 tuvitod tbem
to the cclebr

Siay. Sir, they are here.

Sir Tho. Coofound

Enter Pcff, Dactyl. «juI UtisT.

Jtusi. Ay, truly. Mr Pufi; dais it but a biUcr
betniiuing : then the youug man must turn bim^
iielf to some utbcr trade.

Ph//". Servant, sir lliomas; I suppose yon
have lieant the news of— ^

Sir 7^ Yes, yes ; 1 have been told il before.

D»c. I confess, I did not 9usf>c_'rt it ; but there
is no knowing what effect tbese things will liave^
till tJiey came on the state.

Ruit. For mv part, I don't know much of
thtac matters; hut a couple of umtlemen ne-or
me, tvht) seemed sii^aciuus cu'rugh ivi.*, daclarvd^
that it WHS the vilest Ktulf thev ever Imd henn^
and wondered llie players ^uuld a;^t it.

Dae. Yes : 1 don't remonibcr to have seen a
mure general dislike.

Puff. I nas tliinking to 9sii y(ju, nr Thomas,
for your interest with Mr Bevcr. ah<Hit buying
tlie <*opy I but wiw no mnrtal wmtid read it. —
Lord, sir, it would not pay for papvr and pnnV-
ing.

Rust. I remember Kcnnet, in his Roman Anii*
quities, mentions u piny of T«r*n.V§. Mr DAc'trt,
that was tcrnbtv tretited; tmt ihat be ntlriUit'cM
to the people's fnndiWM fur certain /iinaiMiw/i. or
rupe-datict-n ; but 1 liavi> not lately henn) of
any fniuuus tumblers in town : sir 'Iliomas, have
von?

Sir Tta. I low should li Do you ■appose I
trouble iDv head about tumblers?

Rwtt. K'av, I did not.

Bev. \Spca^img vtt/iifal.] — Svt tn be spohe
with ! Uoo't tell me, sir : Itc must, Ik- sImU.

Sir Tho. Mr llcvcVs voice '. If he is admitted
in his present dispuMtnm, tho whole secret will
ccrluinly out. ileTitlemrn, s>hik aSiiirs, of b
iiioit intcrcsUng nature, utiit^v it iinjtosaiblc foc

3D

S94

DRITISH DRAMA.

CFOOTE-

me to bare the honour of your company lo-atjhi ;
ibercforc, I be^ tou would be to eood at lo

Rial. Atlkin! do bad news' I hope Hiss
Jul«nw€lU

Sip Tho. Very weU ; bat I am mou extxtii-
ingly

Kutt. I »hall only just ttay to ace Mr Berer:
poor Ud ! be will bo moM. bornbly down in ibe
mouib ! a liitlc comfun won't come amiss.

AVr 'ilia, Mr Bcver, jir ! you won't ie« him
here.

Itvtt. Not here ! whr, I thought I faeani hts

voice butjuM DOW.

Sir Tho. You are mistaken, Mr RuU ; bat —

Rust. May be so; then we will go. Sir Tho-
mas, my complimcoti of condoleucp, if you
please, to tlic poet ?

Sir Tho, Ay, ay.

Dae And mine ; for I suppose we shan^t ace
him toon.

PfJ)'- Poor ppntlcman ! I warrant he won't
Uiow bis Itead lor thew six muulbs.

Jtut/. Ay. ay ; indeed, 1 am vciy sorry fur
him ; so tell hJm, sir.

Dae. and Puff". So are we.

Rust. Sir Tlkocnas, your smrant. Come, ecn-
tlemen. By all tliia oonfuMno in sir Thomas,
then; must be soiiu-lliiii^ mtirr in iIh' wind titan
X know ; but I uill watch, I am resolved.

[Eitunt.

Brv. [N't/Ami/.] Raacals, stand by! I must,
X will sec him.

Mtiter Beveb.

So, «r : this is delicate treatment, after all I have
sutTervd !
Sir Tho. Mr Bevcr, 1 liope you don't — tltat

is- —

Bcv. VVdl, air Tboouu Ixifty, what think you
now of your Robinson Crusoe? a pretty per-
formance !

Sir Tho. Tliiiik, Mr Bcver! I tliink the [>ub-
lic are blockheaJi ! a tajtelcu, stupid, i^itorunt
tribe ! and a man of (genius deserves to bu damned,
who writes aity tiling; for ibcm. But ouraf^e^
deair Dick ! the prinapats will give you what die
jMnple refuiic ; the doMt will do you that jus-
tice tlic stage has denied : Print yimr plnv.

Bev. My play ! Zounds, «ir, 'tis your own I

Sir T/itt. fipcak lower, dear D'lot ! be mode-
rale, my good dear lad I

Bcv. Oh, sir Thomas yon oiay be easy enouch ;
you are safe and secure, removed Tht from that
precipice that has dasbcd me to pieces.

Sir Tho, Dear Dick, dou't believe it will hurt
you; the critics, tlie real judges, will discover in
that piece eucb excellent lulents— -

Bn). Nn, sir Thuinas, no ! I shall neither flat-
ter you nor niVM'lf; I hnve acquired a rii^ht to
ipeak what 1 utiiik. Vour pl»yt i>ir, is a wrctcli-

ed performanGC ; and, in this opuuoD, all maniind
are united.

&r Tho. May be ooC

BfT. If your'piecc had been greatly ;
1 would have declared str Thoaas Laftr '
tbor; ifculdly, I would havcowDcd itmj
but such disflraceful, such contempiifaW treu*
nteut ! 1 o»n the burden is tuo heavy for me;
so, sir, vou munt bear it \oursclf.

Sir 'ho. Mc. dear Dick .' wlwt, to b«c3oac ri-
diculoui >u the decline of mv life ! to descny, ia
<nic Ik.ur, the lame ttiat A>rty years has beet
huildiog ! that was the prop, the support of uj
age ! Can yuu be itucI cnLJush to dcwre it?

lire. Zfiunds, sir ! and whv uiust I be VMT
crutch } Would you laivc nie becutoe a voloollfT
victim * No, sir, this caiue dues nut merit a iair>
tyrdom.

Sir The. I own myself sreatly ofaliced ; b»i
perM.'»erc, dear Dick, pcr^v^re ! you hare time
CO recover your faoic ; 1 beg it, Willi t«an if> Bif

cvci. Anoiher ^ay will

' Rev, Nu, sir Thomas; I have dooe with ib^
state — tlie muses and I meet ihi raotv.

&> Tho. Nav, tltcrc are various roftds OfNflti
life.

iJer. Not one where your piece won't \
me ! If I CO to ttie bar, tlie gtkost uf this <
cuiiitdy will lollort, aad hunt me in We
sicr-hall. Nay, wh*:n I die, it will stick to OJ
memory, niid I sh&ll be hauiled down to PM'^
rity with the tiuthor of lore in a Hoiiov jVc.

Sir Tho. Then marry : Y«u arc a pret^ «■*«
6giirc, and your poetical inleuts

Hrv. And what fair would adroit of mfBii^
ur family wish to receive me ? Make the a*
your own, sir Thontas; would you ?

Sir Tho. With hilinile pleasure!

Rev. Then eivc mc your uicoe; her bvdi
shall seal up my lips.

Sir 'Tho. What, Juliet? Willitixly. Bat. wt
you M-ni»u»? Do you reallv admire llie jiHf

Jicv. Bevuiid what word* can eiprcss. It"*
by Ikt advicu I couKiitcd to father your ply-
Mr Tho. What, is Juliet appriied? l«^
Robin, Juhn, run and oill my niecr hilher cik*
moment. Tliat giddy baggage will blahaO uta
instant.

Rev. You are mistaken; she tawiKi lbin}«
are awaie uf.

£n(er JiTLiTT.

Sir Tho. Oh, Juliet, you know what bis ^
pencdf

JifL I do, sir.

&r Tho. Have you revealed this aafocta*"
wcrel ?

Jul. To no mortal, sir Thoma}.

Str Tho. Come, piveme your liand. MrB(**'
rhiUI, fur my soke, has reiHiuuccii the tti^i ^

FOOTK.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

S95

the whole republic of tetters; in return, I owe
him vour hnnd.

JttL Mrhmiil ! wltal, to a pnct hooted, hiswd,
and czplodeil ! Yuu niu»t puninii tnc, w.

Sir fho. Juliet, n trifle ! Ttie most they ran
wf^y of him is. thut hr is h little itantinp; in wit;
■nd he has m iniuiy tirntiicr writers tu keep hini
in countenance, that, m>w-a-riays, that i» nu rtflec-
tkit) at alt.

JuL Then, sir, your engagement to Mr Ruit.

&> 7^, I have found out the nucal ; he lias
ben more impertinently severe on my play than
mX\ the rest put to^itlier; Kt that i ain deter-
mioed he &ha]l be none of the man.

"Enttr RtJST.

Knit. Are yon S0[, tir? what, theu, I nni to be
sacnt'iccd, in or<lcr to prc«rve the secret, that
yuu are a blrK'klit'jul } hui ynii nrv udi in your
politics; before niglit, it shall bt knuwn in all the
ooffee-hoiisc^ in town.

Sir 'fho. For Heaven'ft ulte, Mr Ru^t \ —

Halt. And to-morrow I will pBrtifcmph voii iu
every rtewnpuper; you ^liall nu luntrer iii)|)n«:c on
the wrnrld : I will uninatk you: the Urui't >kin
ahalt hide yon no linger.

&r Tho. Juliet \ Mr Bcver! what can I do?

Sire. Sir Thomas, let inc tuanagc this lontter.

IlarL'e, old xcntlemoa, a word in yotir ear ? you
remember what you have in your pocket?

R»U II17 ! Iiow f what!'

lift. The curiosity that hai cost you so much
pains.

'Rust. What, tny .^^cas ! my precious relict
of Troy!

Bev. You matt give up tliat, or the Lady. .

Jul. How, Mr BeverP

Brr. Nerer fear ; I am sure of my num.

Hu%t. \jtt me consider — As to the girl, girls
ore pk'uly eooufih ; I can tnarry when 1 will :
Rut mr paper, my plusniit, that spriof^s fresh,
from the riumes> that can nerer be matched— T
Take her.

Bev. And ai yoo lovo your own secret, be
careful of ours.

Ruit. 1 am dumlj.

^iV Tho. Now, JulieL
Jul. You jdin me, sir, to an unfortunate bardi
but, to procure your pence

Sir Tho, Yoo obli^e me for ever. Xow the
secret dies with us four. Idy fuulL I owe hiui
much.

Re it vour care to fJiow it ;
.And blew t lie mau, though I h u e ilnmned tfat ,
poet.

[Krnifi/ omntt, .

MIDAS.

IHE AUTHOB

ANONYMOUS.

DRAMATIS PEBSONiE.

GODS.

Jupiter.

Apoi.1.0.

Pan.

BACCiina.

CCPID.

GODDESSE&

Vesta.

MlKERVA.

Vemus.
Bellona.

LVSA.

Hebe.

JUKO.

MORTALS.

MEN
Midas, a country jwHce.
DAM£TASf a iwaiit.
SiLEMO^ an old shepherd.

WOMEN.

Mtsis, wife to Sileno.
JJ;"^''^|rf««A*e«(oSiLEso.

Scene^Arcadia.

ACT. L

SCENE I.

J7ie curtain riting, discovert the heathen deities,
Koted amidst the clouds^ inJullcouncH; they
address Jcpiteb in chorutj accompanied by ail
the iTutruments.

Ckta-us (fall the gods.

Jove, in his riiair,
Of the skj lurd mayr.

With hi* nods'

Meip and god*
Keeps in awe ;

When ne winks.

Heaven shrinks ;

When he speaks,

Heil sfjueak)) ;

Earth's |^be is but bis taw.
Cuck rtf the sclmol,
He bears despotic rule ;

Anonymous.I

BRITISH DRAMA.

I

Hit word,
Thoujtfa abwrd.
Must be law.
EvMi FxtCf
Though M gntit,
Mit9i not prate;
HLs bald pRie
J«jvc would cofi^
ile'B to bhtH;

for a 4tr«w.
Cow'd deities,
like mice in cbeeip,
To sdr mast ceiuc

Or |i»*f.

Jup. r Kuinr.] Immortnl% you have hMrd ^our
plaiiitiu sni-crei(pi.
And culprit StiFs hif^h chmn. Stiall w<r, whu

Brook spiei upon lu? Shall Apulia trample
On our oommiiods t We'll innke him nn exam-

pie!
At for you, Junfs curb jour pryint; temper, or
We'll make you, to your cost, know — we're your

Jnao. I'll i&ke the law. [To Ji'p.J My prT>o

tor, nith a sumntona,
Shall cite you, nr, t' nppcar at Doctoi's Com-

moits.
Jirp. Let him — but first I'U chase from bca^

len von *arlei !
Jmna. Wfiiit, tor detixlhig you and your vile

harUiiI

AIR.

Think not, lewd Jova,

Thus to wronj my chaHc love ;

lor, spite of your rakehelly godhead,
By day aiid by ni^lit,
Jono wdl have her rtgtit.

Nor be ut' dues nuptial defrauded.

ni ferrit tlic haunts
Ol i<>ur ffmalc xallnnts;

III vain you in ilarkut:%« enclose ihcio;
Your ravDuritr jndr^
I'll pluncc lu the thndes^

Ur into cuws metaiiMirph'>9e tlicin,

Jup. Peacp. tcrmai^t I— I swear by Styx, onr
ihundrr
Stall hurl him to the earth— Nay, never wotnler,
I'xe *woni It, end*.

Jptih. Hold, hold! have pAtirnre,
Papa— No bowels lor your own rclationi f

Aill.

Be by your friends udTtscd,
Too hanh, too huty dad !

Maitgre your holla, and wine hcwl.
The world mil ttiliik yuu luad.

What worse can Bniclitn tearh mm,
Hii roaiinf; buckv when dnirtk.

Than break the larapft, beat wnichroca.
And teller to «om« punk ?

Jup. You miicy
Diwrtlnr !

sootindrcl ! — ther«, sir— Com^

Uowo, Pbotbus, down to earth, well hear no far-
ther.

Roll, thtindcrs, roll I blue lightniDgs Hash about
him.

The blab shall find our sky can do without liiio.

[Thunrlrr and ti^ktriinp. JcPlTfR JartwoMl
at hi/Hj ht fall* — JrprrcH m^tmtiaci his
/Arvac, anii the gods att autnd toother,
"'>£>"£ 'Ae initial tAorui.

Jove, in his chair, Stc

SCENT IT, — A ehampaifn rminf ry, with o dit^
tant viUagr ; violent tturm of Ihundfr and
lightning. A fArpA^rd, tlerping in IheJieU, it
rwud bjf Ut and runt okw frightrned, Umv-
iitg hit ctoak, hat, and fntUar, Uhind him,
AroLto, as cast /rom ifavttty^fallt totheeoHh,
vitk a rude sJiock, und lirg for a wAUt itun-
ncd ; at length he tngint to marr, riua, md-
vancet, and, looking forward^ tpeaki ; aprr
which, mtrri to AtmSiLUto.

ApoUo. Zooks ! what a cmsli ! a prrt^ deceoc

tumble !
Ki[>d uMce, Mr Jorc — nweet sir, your hwnUe.
Udl, doMD I am ; — no booci broke, though Mtc

pcpprr'd —
Here duoin'd to stay. — What can I do^ turn

shepherd [Puts on thf chak,/fc.

\ lucky thoui^ht I — In this disguise, ApoUn (
\o more but Pol the Hvatn, Mcne 6uck I'll ^

low,
\or doubt I, wiih my voice, guitar, and per«i»n,
Aninn|; ihr nvnn^ths to kirk up some dit'cnoon,
SiL WttOMi Imve we here? a stgStly duwo!

— nnd rtiirdy ;
Iluni ! plays, I oec, up<)n the hordt-^iirdT.
Sectns out of place — a ttruiger— «ll In cotten ;
I'll hire him — bell diTert my wifr and daagh-

(crs.
— Whence, anri what nrt thou, boy ?

Pi>l. An orphan Uul, sir ^
I'ol h my n-unr ; — n 'Jwpherd nnrc mr dad, lir !
r th' upper p4u-ia hero — though out b«im to icr-

vitio,
I'll now take on, for fniih I'm nlmoAt iturvini^

Sit. You've drawn n prise i* lb' lotlct^. — —So
I hnve i, tiH> :

Why,— I'm th« nitnter yoo cuuld bftt apply to.

^s

BRITISH DRAMA.

[&NONYMOVS.

AIR.

Since you mean to hire for service.
Come with me, ^ou jolly dog ;

You can help to bring home harvest,
Tend the sheep, and feed the hoe.

- FaUU!

With three crowns, your standii^ wages,

You shall daintily be fed ;
Bacon, beans, salt liieef, cabbages,

£utter-milk, and oaten-bread.

Fa la la I

Come strike hands, youll Uve in clover,
When we get you once at home ;

And when daily labour's over,

We'll all dance to your strum stmm.

Fa la la !

PoL I strike hands, I take your offer,
Farther on I may fare worse ;
Zooks, I can no longer sutler
lluiigry guts, and empty purse.

Fa la la!

SU. Do, strike hands ; 'tis kind I ofier;
Po/. I strike bands, and take your offer;
Sit. Farther seeking you'll fare worse ;
Pol. Farther on I may fare yvorse.
SiL Pity such a lad should suBer,
PoL Zooks I can no longer sufier,
Sil. Hungry guts, and empty purse.
PoL Hungry guts, and empty purse.

Fa la la I
l^Exeuntf durtcing and iinging:

SCENE m.— StLENo's/orm houu.

JEnter Daphne and Ntsa, Mysis /oUowing be-
hind,
jyaph. But, Nysa, how goes on squire Midas'

courtship ?
Ny%a. Your iwecC Damaetas, pimp to his great
worship,
Brought mc from him a purse ; — but the condi-
tions—
Tvt cur'd him, I believe, of such commissions.
Dap^. The moon-calf! This must blast him

with my father.
Nyaa, Right. So we're rid of the two frights

together.
Both. Ha! ha! ha!~Ha! ha! ha!
Mysit. Heyday ! what mare's Dest's found ?

For ever grinning ?

Te rantipoles !— is't thus you mind your spinning P

AIR.

Girls are known
To mischief prone,

If ever they be idle.

Who would rear
Two daughters fair.

Must hold a steady bridle :
For here they skip,
And tliere they trip.

And this and that way sidle.
Giddy maids.
Poor silly jades,

All after men are gaddii^ :
They flirt pell-mell,
Their train to swell.

To coxcomb, coxcomb adding :
To ev'ry fop
They're cook-a-hoop.

And set their mothers madding.

Enter SiLEMo, introducing Pol.

SiL Now, dame and ^rls, no more let's bear
you ftrumble
At too hard toil ; — I chanc'd, just now, to stum-
ble
On this stout drudge — and hii'd him — fit for bn

bour.
To 'em, lad — then he can play, and sing, and ca-
per.
Myt. Fine rubbish to brii^ borne ! a strolling
th rummer !
[To Pol.] What art tbou good for? speak, tboo
ra|!<:ed mummer f

Kt/»a. MotlitT, for shame !

A/y<. I'cacc, saucebox, or I'll maul you !
Po!. Goody, my strength aud parts you under-
volur.
For bis or your work, I'm brisk and haody.
Dtiph, A sad cheat else
AJjri. What you, you jack-ft-daody !

AIR.

Pray, goody, please to moderate the raocour of
your tongue :
Why flash those sparks of fury from your
pycs ?
Remetiilier, n hen tlie judgment's weak, the pr^ih
dice is strong.
A stranger »hy will ^-ou despise?
Ply me.
Try me.
Prove, crc you deny me :
If vou cast me
Off, you blast me.
Never more to rise.

Mj/t. Sirrah ! this insolence deserres a drub-
bing.

Nysa. With vlint sweet temper he bews all
her snubbing ! \A$ide.

SiL Or)n9 I no more words,— ^-Go^ boy, and
get your diuocr.

, Akonymous.]

BRITISH DRAMA,

SU. Fie ! tthy lo croM*grfun'd to a young be-
ginner f
Nynt. So tntxtcHt !
XiapM. So KCQCevl !

Sil. [To My-^is.] Not pert, nor lumptsK
Mfft. Would lie were hftngcd !
Njfta. and DapA, ]jk I mother^ vrby 30 rrum-

AIR.

Nyaa: Mnrnma, how can vod b« «o ill-natur'd,

Tu Ui4? {reiiLlc, linndMinie Mvain ^
DmA. To a lad, so Umb'd, su fcaturd,

Sure 'tia cruel to give pain.

Sure 'tis cruel, &c.
M^t- GirK for you my fears perplex me,

I'm nlarm'd on your uocouut:
SU. Wife, ill Tniu you tcize and vex mc,

I will rule, depcitd upoa'L
KvM. Ah \ ah !
liaph, Moinina !

'\ Mmnma. how can you be so ill-no-
Nyid ami ( tur'd^

Dapk. i Ah» ah, to n lad so limb'd and fca-
} turd ?

Ayu and f To t)ic geiiUe, handsome swain,

Jioftk. i Sure '(IS cruel ui give pnin;
A'vM and \ Sure 'li» cruel to ^te pain,

'Ihtpk. % Ta the gculle, luuidsoiuc swain.
J/yi< (iirU, for you my fears pcrplcii roc,

I'm nittnn'd 1x1 your acc^tuut.
Sit, W'ite, in i-ain yuii tcixe and vex tne;

I will rule, depend upou'L
tivM. t Mamma f
Afyt. \ IMia I pi>ha I
thfiK. ) Papa !
5i/. ) Ah! ah!

N Mamma, how can you he sn ill-natur'd?
Dtph.f P&ha, p*hn, you uiuBt not be so iU-na-
Sif. '

A*.

>• tiir'd ;

\ Ab, ah ! to a lad so limb'd, so fca-

J lur'd?
Dupk^'\ To Oic gentle, handsome sn-ain.
StI. f He's a centic, handsome swaiDi
AyM. < hufc *ti» cfucl to fire pain.
Myt, J'Tis inr pleasure to pve pain,
Dupk. '\ Sure '(t» i-ruci to stvu pam.
SU. \ lie's a gciiile, hiindiMiine swiiin.
Avio. i* To tbe j^eotlc, handsome swnin.
Mjfu J To your odious, far'iite gwain.

SCENE IV.

£ntrr Midas and Dahxtas.

Mid. NyMt you sny, refu^'d the guineas Bri-

tuh?
JDcM. Ah ! ptease your worship— she is won*

drmxA ftkiuish.

Mid. ni have her. cost what 'twill. Odsbobs!

— I'll fnroc her.
Dam, 'Ilie halter ! — -
Mid. As for madam, I'll divorce her!
•Some favuarcd lout inooe uur bliivs opposes.
Dam. Aye, Pol, the oiud, puts out of joint

our nfMCS.
Mid. I've heard of that Pol's tricks^ of— his
ftly tampering.
To fling poor Pan, but TU soon send him »c8n>-

pering,
'Sblood ! I'll commit him — drive him to the gal-
lows !
Where is old Pan ?

Dam. Tippliiit;. sir, at the ale-house.
\lid. ItuD, fetch him — we shall hit oa ume
espttdient. ^ _

To rout ihi* Pol. *

Dam. I lly; [Going, rr/uras.] sir, your obe-
dient. [Eni.

What boots my being 'squire,

JiiNtice of peace, and qunrum ;
Church- warden, knight o llie fehire.

And Custos Itotolorum ;
If saucy litllp N'yso's heart rcltellious,
My 'squireship blights, mid hanlters after fel-
lows?

AIR.

Shall a rallry clown, not fit to wine my shoe^

bare my amours to cro&s f
Shall a peasant minx, when Justice Midas woos,
tier nose up at him toss?

No : III kidnap tlicii poescss her :

ni sell her Pol a slave, get muudungus in ex-
chanfre ;
So glut to the height of pleasure.
My Itive and my rcveoge.
No: I'U kidnap, &c. \Exil.

SCENE V.

Pak u discarereJ sitting at a tahle^ with a ttm-
kardt pi/"'' "id tobacco, hrf'ore himi An bag-
pipe lying hy him.

AIR,

Jupiter weocbrs and drinks,

lie rules the rout in the sky ;
Vet he'ft a fool if he thinks,
lluil he'f. as hnppv as I ;
Jumi rattr^ inm,
And prates him,
And leads his highnctt a wevry life ;

4

4M

BRITISH DRAMA.

lAicoMTMoirs.

I hMYt my \am,

And vaj glsM,
And stroll a batcbelor's men; life.

Let him Buster,

And Uvster,
Y«t cringe to his hamdan's furbelow ;

To mj fair tulipSi

Iglew lips,
And clink the caonilun here bdow.

Enter Dah£Tas.

-his pate

Dam. There sits the old soaki
troublit^ little

How the world wags : so be get* drink aod vit-
de.

Uoi, master Fan ! — Gad, you've trod on a this-
tle!

You may jMk ap your all, sir, and go whistle.

The wenciw* have turned tail — to yon buck raii-
ter:

Tickled by his guitar, Uwy soom your chanter.

AIR.

AH aroond the maypole, bow they trot.
Hot
Pot,
And good ale hafb got;
Boutin^
%outio(^
At you floutii^
^eeria^
Jeering,
And what not
There ia old Sileno frisks like a mad
I-d,
Glad
To see oi sad ;
Capering,
Viqiouring;
While Pol, scrapmg,
Coaxes
The lasses
At be did the dad.

Enter Mtsis.

Mfyi. O Pan ! the deril to pay— both my sluts
frantic !
Both in their taatmms, for yon capering antic.
But, I'll go teA. them all; and if 1 £nd them,
ril drive them ai if Old Nick were behind them.

[Going,
pan. Soa, soa — doti't Bounce;

Avast — disguise your fury.
Pol, we shall troonce ;
llidas is judge aud jury.

AIR.

Jfyi. Sure I shall run with voation tfistmcted.
To see my purposes Hius oonnteracted !
This way or that way, or wlucfa way aoeTCr,
Ail things run oontraiy to my CBdeammr.
Daughters projecting

Their ruin aod abame,
Fathers neglecting

Hie care of their fiune ;
Nurring in bosom a treacberous npcr;
Here's a fine dance— but til ha jiays the
piper. [£>««(.

SCENE VI.— ^ wood and lawny near Siuso's
farm^ Jiocka graxing at a diMtamce : « twder
slow nftnplwtUf.

Daphke cTotui melmneholie amd tilemi i Ntsa
matching her : Then Dapihe ratuna nta*

ning.

Ky$. O lio ! is it so } — Miss Daphne ia the
dumps?
Mum— snug*3 the word — ^Tll lead her sock a
dance
Shall make ber stir her stamps.
To all her secret haunts,
Like her shadow, I'll follow and watch ber :
And, faith, mamma shall hear oo't if I cateh her.

[lUtira.
Dapk.lM\ how my heart goes pit ■ pa 1 1 whst
thumping
E'er since my father broi^t us boose tlusbaii^
kin.

AIR.

He's as tiglit a lad to see to^

As f'er stept in leather shoe,
Aod, what's better, he*U love me, Coo^

Aud to litm I'll prove true bloe.

Though my sister casts a hawk's eye,

I defy what she can do.
He o'eriooked the little doiy,

I'm the ^li he means to woo.

Hither I stole out to meet him.
He'll, no doubt, my steps pursue ;

If the yuuih prove true, I'll fit him;
If he's false— rU lit him, too.

Enter Pou

Pol Think o* the devil— 'tis said,
He's at your shoulder^'
This wencn was runnii^ in rayimd,
And popr-bebold her !

t Anonymous.]

n
I

BRITiSH DRAMA.

AIR.

AIK,

I^vf^ly iiTrnpii, nssaa;^ mjr ■inj'iibh;

At your feel n tciifier nwnin
Pnji jrou will not let hiio Iaiii;iii&h,

Un« kind look would eaM: tui )t.iiii.
Did voD know the lad wbo courts yuu,

U« not luQft ocL'd lue io vain ;
Pnnce of »0{% of dunce, of kpurts — vau

Sc9itc« MriU meet his Ukeagoiu.

Daph, Sir* yuu'rc micIi nn oliii,
or perfection in rolin,

LNo daitiH'l can resist ]rau :
Your face to nliructivr,
Uinbs vy supplr and active,
Ttiat, by i\m lliilit,
At the ii^^r -iulit.
I oould hnre run und kissed you.

If TOO can.cnpcr m well tvt you moilttlatc,
With the ndditiuii nl'thnt pmiy fare,

C' ** 1, who i»as Iwld by our ^lurphrrdfl a god o'
laic,
Vdl be kicked out, mad you set in his place.
b««rd 90 frowsy, hia gestures so niiVwnrd arr,
Aiid hit bft^pipu bns so ilrowsy a druiu',
JliBt if they niid you, at I did. no bDi^kunnlcT,
Vou may count on idl llic girls ns your own.

My>. [From mithinJ] Pol, Pul ! moke liaste

hilhrr.
Pol Meaiii, ivlmt a time to call !
Oh ! rot yoar old Iurks of Icatlicr.
B'yc, Unpli.
DapA, B'ye, Pol.

Ealer Xtsa.

^i. Marry come up, forsooth,

IVt me, you forward vixeti.
You choose to play your tricks on i
And could yotir liquorish looth

Find noDC but my swectticart to fix on *

Dapk. Marry come tip aipiin,

ludtwd, my dirty couun I
Have you a rinht to every swoiii?
Xjfs. Ay* thoi^i o dozen.

Ain.

Daph. My minikin misfl, do you faiKy tliat Pol
Cull ever l>e caught by oii iiifuiit's dol f
Con you, Mias Nlaypolc, »up|MMe be will

full
In lore widi llie giantess of Guild^U ?
Pietny ^f 1
CuloKus iiM-lf !
You will lie till yuu'i-e inuuldy upon the
ftlieif.

Ny$,

Dttpk.
Hotk.

Dtiph. You stump a' ih' gutter, you hop o' my

tliuniti,
A hu«bnnd for you must from lilliput

come.
Njft. You ktulkiiif; steeple, you ^iwky sti^.

Your hiwbjutd must cuine from Brobdit:-

ong.
Daph. Sour (cmpes !

\\ifi. ]>ad apes !

Kttf A. I'll humble tout vanity, Mititrctt Trapes.

Daph. Miss, your aiaunmce,

i\yf. And, ini«v your high airs

liaph. Is pnu all endunuice.

Xyt, Are at tbcir Inst prayers.

liaph. No more of thuse freedoms, Miss N|n,
I beg.
Aliss Daphne's omccil mu&t be lowered a

) Poor n>ite :

V Pride hurt I

) - livet white!

S Uare sport !

'\ Do, shew your teeth, spitfire, do, hot
(^ you can't bite,

tThis liau):litincu suoa Kill be laid in
J the dirt.

P<x)r HHte, Sec.

Pride uurt, 6ic

\Esfant.

Xys.

Daph.

Xyi.

Daph.

iiaph.

Nyt,

V,u HL

<IK

4

403

BRITISH DRAMA.

^Anonym

ACT II.

SCENE!.— i< Grow.

Enter Nysa, foUozced by Midas.
Mid, TuriN. ty^rtss, turn ; hut, riy not^—
i liHVf thee ai a why not.
Ho^ ronie-* it, tittle Nv«y,
That hcnrt to me wi irv '

Should be to Pol likt- tinder.
Burnt up to a very rinder?
Njft, Sir, to niy virtue e*er ateadj,
I-'inn as a rock
I hconi your shock;
But why this attack ?
Can you lack,
Who have a wife already ?

Mid. Ay, there's the curse — but she is old and
sickly ;
And would iny Nysa grant the favour quicklv>
Wi'iild she yield now — I swear by the lord Harry,
The monient madam's coffined — Her Vll marry!

AIR.

O what pleasures will abound,
When my wire is Iwiil in ground f

I^t earth cover her,

We'll dance over her,
When my wife is laid in crouad.
Oh, how happy hhould I be.
Would little Nysa pi;; with me f

Huw I'd muuiKle htr,

Tonze and tumble her.
Would little Ny^ pig with me !

Nj/t. Younf: birds alone are caught with chaff;
At your base scheme I laugh.

Mid. Yet take my vows

N^i. I would not take your bond, sir

Mid. Half my estate

Ny$. No; nor the whole — mj fond sir.

AIR.

Ne'er will I \>e left i' the lurch ;

Cease your bribes and wheedling :
Till I'm made a bride i' the church,
ill keep man from meddling.
What are riches.
And soft speeches?
Baits and fetches
To bewitch us:
When you've won us.
And undone us,
Cloy'd, you shun us,
Fnmninji on us,
For our heedless peddling.

[Exeunt.

SCENE IT.
MiDAS, then Pan, and Pol lUteniMg.

Mid, Well, master Pol I'll tickle.

Tor him, at least, I have a rod in fud

When he's in limbo.
Not thus our hoity tuitr miss.

Will stick her arms a-kimbo.

Pflw. So, squire ! well met 1 flew to

your business.
MiJ. Why, Pan, this Pot we mast bring

on his knees.
Pan. That were a feat, indcea; — a fi

brag on.
Mid- Let's home — we'll tliere concert it

flae^on.
I'll make liiin bkip

i'oR. A!> !3t. George did the dragon.

AIR.

If into your h^n-yard
The treacherous reynard

t^tciils hlily, your poultry to ravage,
Wiih ^un you attack liiiii.
With hcaplesyou track him,

All's fair to He>tr'iy the fell savi^
So Pol, who comes picking
Up mv tender chicken,

No means do I scruple to banish;
Wirh power I'll oVrbcar him,
With fraud I'll ensnare him.

By hook or by crook he shall Tanisl

SCENE III.— ^ hvrn lefore Midas's *c

Enter NiSA.

Hyi. Good lack ! what is come o'er me?
Dapiine has stepped before me!
Envy and love devour me.
Pol (joiits upon her phiz hard;
Tis that sticks in my L'innrd.
Midas appears now twenty times nic

de< >iis.
Ah NyMi ! v\hat resonrcp r — a cloyrtrr

Ueath alive ycr thither mu>t I nir

And turn a uun.
Prodigious !

Aia

In these greasy old fattens
His charms brighter shine;

Then his guitar he clatters.
With tiakling divine.

Akontmouso

BKITISH UKAMA.

But, ray VrM«r,
Ah ! Itc ltii)M*d tin-.

And 11)1! lie pasted bjr;
I'm jealiiu«
Ot" tin- tcliuw's

UikI Uatc, auU Llinil c^c.

SC EN £ 1 v.— M t ua<i'h pttriwr.

[Efil.

Midas, AIvsih, and Pak, in fonntltaiion aver
a lar^t botci u/'ftunchf piptff and tolntctv.

Jiliti. C.umc, Pail, ytiur liw*t

fa/I. Ilirt* K'f s, oiir imblr umpire !
^^^vi. And Vt>l'» ilcl'cut—i'll (iUriii;c ii ill a bum-

^^tMk/. Uiiiiu liiiii ! ill etery m'ltriuc- lliiii Hliclp
lia> tini^rcd ii».
Jltift. Sure Ik-'-* tlic ilrvil IuuimU';
l^nn. (Jr ilt.H'li>r I'HiiiiiiN

Alyt. All I Squire — — t'tir l*«n, wouW vou but
stuucly Kiiciie.
Tlii» l*ul nniild MKMi be in ■ uruldicd (jickle.
J*an, You rca»uli rit^^it- ' ■
MiJ. Ui% toliy 1 sImII uckle.
iftfk. \4ttik, w]uirt), I've wid tii^ butrer, here
it's (incc i»
Al your ramniand, d» Init this job for Mysi*.
Count tt'.eiu — MX piiiKni und uu old .lacobuiK
Keep Van, mid ^ll^me Uiut ftcapc-^iLt coram

MitL l-o-tdy, tVi 'ti* TO«r rcqarM,
I iHK-ktil ibtB hen* Mufl';
^^ Aod lu tor tt'ur Utttv jicaMiitj
■K Trust ine I'll ^v'.rl; liva bulU

^^^ At ihe muniral scriim'le

^^L Vlt bully Rud itiiccji:;

^^^ My awnnl's

' Your surf card.

IIUxk), lie «)iidl lly bi» tfHintrir — ilini's enougli.

I*am. Well jiiiil, my IaiI nt' t*dx f

UliiL Lct'k end iJtu tunkurtt.
1 hiti'u II'* bead Tur bu^iiic^'k till I've di-atik bnrd.

i'an. Nor bii« my ^ald br^^uif) m llii.'iit till
dwry'rc luldir,
, ^^iK'n I'm most tovky I bc&t ut my >iiddli\

JUitl. Well, couie, kt's Utlc onti butue, iuhI
I ruRT m cnti b.

I Tlieii part to nur adairs.
' /•««, A iiuitcb f

Mjft. A umicb !

AIR.

ATid. Mnsior Pol,

And bi* tolMe-roll-loll,

ni biidct array tVum tlic plliiil, sir.
Pan. And I'll asMSl

Your **vrs(np'i fist

Witb all my mitfht nnd main, sir,
Jfyf- And I'll hnve n itniinp,
Tliouch he 11 M> pluiup,

And malic ^ucli a wotuidod mckct.

MU ril bluir.

Pan. ni 1- h,

jV/«>, I'll luiiK
Mi,t. I'll n.iV.
(*'nn. .\ihI J '.I warrant w« (tapper Hii jorLct.
Mid. Fur till biti rliiMt^
Alul urn'biiu; tenU,

Ilf »lisll rue iHi bis knew 'cm.

0 skip, by c«les,
A> biif)i n^ I'ltiil's

Like >iicK <*itcli OB brwSMi
ArraiKo'd Ii«> ftboll he,

01 ir(-ti*>f>ii lit im.' !
I'uH. Ami I with uiy duly wiU bock it;

I'il fv^tUTf

Mid. I'll Miitrc,
iVi/». IM 'fii--,
C/mm. O rail !

And ru i»arriuit Mre pcppt-r lii> jackc

SCENE V.

Rnirr SiLcso and DtMSTAS, in warm argw-
mrut.

Sit. My Dnpb n M-iCe for tbec» tlw fli)iiire's
liimv |>aii((iir !
To t'lr plmitjtMuiii sfHttter tt'KiM I t^rxt her
Itam Sir, v^ureooil wife appmred my offi'ra.
Sit. NiitiiC tirr miT, hnz iif Kiidor,
WItnt knew flie nt'tbi^? but tbv (iilTrrt?

SJam. And sShU ibu* ditclt-buni whcli>, Uiis
ji'ck-umipirH,
By dint i>f connii-* ttnt] of !<mpr^

&JL Tlif"^ trc il)v slauders, uuJ that canker-

ed hue's

Dam. A llttn« iiiHrk up uf pilfrrcd mu*

^./. Uich<.T lluui tlmu. Willi ull iliv bru^
(Ji* fluuks, ami htrnli^ and ui(iii»y-bug».

AIR.

Ifit rival tby clmrnctcr Hmw,
III pvrrii-linn Iil'iI :m<l mt a lliiw ;
VVitfi blMCk li« Bill iioiiil,
Mnke ti dc'ii ut' n *«iim,
Aud fimmc lu nil '»v*l a iti.>cca.
VJofli. Cait '.* IuUm^i' pr(t(*>id tu be wi'*c,

Wbo }u> I'riviid's (C'jud advice wuuld dcft-

pi>C?
Whii, ntien dniiKer ■> nirh,
Tlirow!. hi« spctlarlL's b».
And blink* ihronicli « itrt-vn iLirl'* ey«if
Sil, YtKi'rc an itnpu'lrul piiiiti, and n itmb!
Dam. You are fouled bv a biii^nrly scrub ;

Your belters xnn ^iiilb.
Sii. Whit mil k-Dil n^ a dub,

ThiH iii-i>tlprit ptippv t'tilmb?
Ytiu iirp an im^Hident pMtiti. nod a ^nU>.
/Jfim. Ytxi're (iiplinl by n l>p>utnrly "rriib,
^i'. Whii will rxt III a puivdrnnj; tub
Dam. W bom the pniHO uf impusUKS 1 dub;
.Si/. A euttioa for a clubi

40*

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Akontmovs.

Dam. Your bald pate youll rub^
Sil. The muckworm to drub.
Dam. When you fiml that your aib—
Hit. Rub ut^ sirrah ; rub^sirrah, rub.
Dam. Lb debaached by a whip'd syllabub.

{Exevnt.
SCENE V.

Enter Mtsis, attended hy Daphne and'SrsA.

Myi. Sob ! you attend tlie trial— —we shall
drive hence
Your vagabond'

Sil. I smoke your foul contrivance.

Doph. Ah, Ny ! our fate depends upon this is-
sue

Nyta. [To Daphne.] For your sake, my claim
I here forego ;
And with your P<A much joy I wish you.

Daph. 0, f^emini ! sayVt thou roe so i
Dear creature, let me kiss you.

Nyta. Let us kneel, and beg his stay ; papa
will back us.

Doph. Mamma will storm.

Ni/ia. What then ? she can but whack us.

AIR.

Daph. Mother, sure you never
Will endeavour
To dissever
From my favour

So sweet a swain ?
None so clever

KVr trode the plain.
Nt/sa. Father, ho[>N you gave her.
Don't deceive her;
Can you leave her
Sunk for ever .

In pinini: care }
Haste and save her

From black despair.
Daph. lliink of his modest f^race,
His voice, shape, and face;
Ni/ia. Ilenrts aiamiini;,
liaph. DoBoms warming,
At/ia. Wrath disarming,
Daph. With his soft lay:

Nif$a, He's BO chnrmii^

Ay, let him stay.
Both. lie's SO charming, &c

My$. Sluts, are you lost to shame ?
SU. Wife, wife, be more tame.
Myt. This is madness !
Sit. Sober sadness !
Myt. I ivith gladness

Could see him swing,
For his badness.
SiL Tis no such thing.

JDian. Must Pan resigo, to this fop, his em-
ployment f
Mmt I, to him, yield of D^ihoe die
eDJoynwDt f

Myi. Ne'er while m tongue I brandisb.

Fop outlandish.

Daphne shall blandish.
Will you reject my tncom^

Herds and dinkum i
Rot and sink 'em.
Midas must judge.
And Pol roust fly.
Zounds, Pol shui't bod^ !
You lie !
You lie!

> You lie, you lie !

Pan's drone is fit for wild nx^ and

bteok mountains;
Pol's lyre suits best our cool groU and

clear fountains.
Pol is youn^ and merrf ;
Light and airy,
As a fairy.

Pan is old and mus^ :
Stiff and fusly;
Sour and crusty.
Can you banish Pol t

No, no, no, do !
Let Pan fall.
Ay, let him go:

Dam.

Sil.

Dam.

Mv*.

Sil.

My.

Dam.

My$.

Dam.

Sil.

Nyta.

Daph.

Nyta.

Daph.

SiL

X^u.

Jiaph.

Sil.

Daph.

Nyim.

Daph.
Ny$a.
Daph.
Sit.

]

Ay, let him go.

Midas comet forward^ enritgedy attended hy
croxd of Nympht and Smaint,

Mid. Peace, ho! is hell broke loose? wbst
means this jawii^ ?
Under my very Dose this dapper dawing !

AIR.

What the devil's here to do,
Ye logger-beads and gypsies ?

Sirrah, you ! and bussy, you !
And each of you tipsy is :

But I'll as sure pull down your pride as
A guD, or as I'm justice Midas.

CUOKtTS.

O, tremendous justice Midas f

Who shall oppose wise justice Midas !

AIR.

Mid. Vm gtren to undentand, that you are all

in a pother here,
Disputing whether Pan or Pol shall |day

to you another year.
Dare you think your dumsy lof^ so ftt>-

per to dedae, a*
fbe MiG«« aoia of jvftioo Midas r.

Anoxtmous.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

RvT

caoRt
O, tremendous, &c.

Jdid. So, vuu alluw it, Uien! yc mobbiah
rubble i

Enter Pol and Vav sertrally.

Oh, hen? comes I'ul ami Paii; now stmt

your gabblo.
Fetch my great diair ! TU quickJjr end this
squabble.

AIR.

Now l*m »e«ictj,
I'll bo treated

Like the sophi on his throne;
Tn my prcocucc,
ijouuuarel peasanii, •

!ShaU not call their touls their uwn,
Aljr bchc&t ia,
lie who tmt u.

Shall be fixed musician diicf :
Ne'er the luscr,
Sliall shew iiok here,

But be tram|mrled like a thief.

CU0RV6.

O, tremendous, &c

f}am. HaMers, will you abide hy this condi-
tion ?
Pan. I ask no better.
Pi^t. I ftfii all #ubmi«sion,
}*ttH. Strike u|^ stvcet »ir.
Pol, Sir, I attend vnur loi»urc.
ifid. Pnii, t»ke ihr lead.
Han. Since 'tis yuur wursliip's pleasure.

AIR.

A'pox of vnur pother about this or that ;
Your thrickio^ or squeaking, a sharp or a

ttatr
Vm sharp by my buin|ter% you're flat, loiuter

Po);
Sa, here goes ■ set to at tuU-de-rolt-lol !

Wlieo Beauty tier pnck of poor lovrrs would

hamper,
Aed alter .Mi&s Mill »* the Whisp Uic fools

acainpcr;
IMo§ doiif:« in sine wmg. they tlic lady extol :
Pnw wliai's all tliis fuss for, but toll-de-
' rtilMoll !

_Maakind are a medky a diance niedtey

" race:

All itart in foil cry, to gir« Danie Fortune

chacc:
There's catch as catch can, hit or miss, tuck is

all:
Aud luck's the best tune of life's toU-de-n))I-

loll!

IVc dooe, please your uur^p, 'ti» rather too

loof; :
I only meant life is but an old ning.
The world's but a traG;edy. comedy, drni! :
Where all act ilie scene of tull-<k'-rolMoll !

Mid. By jiugo ! well performed for oue of his

Age:
How, liangdog ! don't you blush to shcv yotir rt*

Pol, Why, master Mida% for that matter,
lis ciioueh to d<i»h one.
To hear ttic arbitrator.

In sndi luiDcemly fashion.
One of the candidates bespatter,
With so much partial pauion.

AIR.

Ah, happy hour j, Ik>w fleeting

Yc danced uu down away ;
When my soft vow^ rcpeain^

At DHphoe'b feet I lay !

But from her charms when fondered,

As Midaf* frowns pn'siRe;
Each hour wilt seum an Itundred ;

£acb day appear an age.

Mid. Silence ! this just decree, all, at your
peril,
Obedient bear— else I shall use you very ill.

TiiE dechee.

Pan shall remain;
Fol quit the plain.

cBonirs.
O, tremendous, &&

Jlfirf. All bow with me to roi^ty Pan- -ea-

cliriine him

Xo pautiiig- — ^and with festal cbonu crown

liini

[Tftr eroxdj'vrfit lato ranks beside the ckair^
aud join in the ehorust whiUt MiOAS
eroKUM him vifA batfi.

cnonts.

See, triumplMuit, sits tlic bard,
Crowned with \My% his due reward ;
Eailetl Pol sliall wander far;
Exiled twang bis faint guitar;

406

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Akonyuocs.

While, with echoine sboats of praise.
We the bagpipe's glory raise.

Mid. Tis well. What keeps you here, you
ragamuffin?

Go trudge — or do you wait for a good cuffing ?
Fol. Now, all attend, [lltroni off his diMguUtt
and appear$ a$ Apollo.] — lite wratlt of
Jove, for rapine,

Corruptiou, lust, pride, fraud, there's no esca-
ping.

Tremble, mou wretch ! thou'sc stretched thy ut-
most tether ;

Thou and thy tools shall go to pot together.

AIR.

Dunce, I did but sham.

For Apollo I am,
God of Music, and king of Paniass ;

Thy scur%7 decree,

For Pan aeninst mc,
I reward with tlie cars of an ass.

Mid. Detected, baulked, and small.
On our marrow-bones wc fiili.
Myt. ]te merciful !

Dam. Uc pitiful V

Mid. Forgive us, mighty Sol. Alas, alas !

AIR.

Apollo. Thou a Billin^ate quccui, [ To Mys.

Thou a piiifcr obscene, TTu Dam.

With strumpets and baitids shall clu>s;

Thou, driven from man, [To Mid.

Shalt wander with Pan,
He a slinking old goat, tliou an as:^ an
ass, &c.

Be thou 9qtiire — his estate [To Siu

To thee I translate.
To you his struag chests, wicked ma$s ;
[To Dapu Qiid Nyvi.

Live happy, while I,

Kccathd tu the }-kv,
Maku all the guds luu;:h at Alida?.

Daph. r together nilh
SH. ^ the uthi

JSyso. C

and

ther nith ~i To the britjit godol'
\}thif Nytnphf > day,
Stcaius. Jljct us dancv, tiii^

and phiy;
Clap hands otn
lad witli hu ia».
Daph. No(v, critics, lie savf,.

Nut a liibs, groan, ur »lirug;
Rciiiembur the fate of Midas,

Mida>;
Ucuienibcr the fate of Midas.

(IIOULS,

Now, critict, lie Miug, &c.

[Hxeutit omntt.

THE

MAID OF THE MILL.

lilCKERSTAFF.

DRAMATIS PERSOX.E.

MEN.

Lord Aimworth, atladud to Patty.

Sir IIatry SvCAMonr, father to Theodosia.

Mervin, atiachai fo 'I'ueodosia.

Faiiii-ivi d, the milter.

Gii FS, a fanner, aUaehed to Patty.

BALfll, ton to FAinilELD.

WOMEN.

Lady Sycamore, wife to Stk IIarkt.
Tii(.ODOSiA, attached to Mervin.
Patty, the Maid of the Mill
Fakjiy, a gyp^-

Seene — A villagt in England.

ACT L

SCEXE I. — A rural prospect, with a mill at
trork. Several people emploi/ed about ; on one
side a houie, Patty rcaJinf^ in the window ;
on the other a born, where 'pAnyr liti mend-
ing a rut ; Cii.ES appeart at a distance in
the mill ; l-AiRvitio and Rxhru taking sacks
J'rtfm a cart.

CHORUS.

Frff from sorrow, free from slrife,
O how West the miller's life !

Chearful workiii;^ through the day.

Still he laughs, aiid md^s away.
Nuiu^ht can vex tiim,
Nought perplex )iim.

While there's grist tu make bim gRT.

DUET.
Let the great enjoy the blessings
By iodulgent fortune sent :

What can wealth, cao gratKleur offer

More tlian plenty and content^
•

fair. Well done, well done ! 'tis a aure sign
work goes on merrily, when foDcs sii^ at it. Stop
the mill there ! and dost hear, sod Ralph? hoist
yon sacks of flour upon this cart, lad, and drive
It up to lord Ainiworth's; coming from I»ndon
last nicrht with strange company, no doubt there
arc calls enough for it by this time.

Ralph. Ay, fcythcr, whether or not, there's oo
doubt but you'll lind enow for a body to do.

iair. What, dost mutter f Is't not astral^
plague that thou can'st never go about any tbtog
with a good will ! murrain take it, what's como
o'er thfi boy P So, then, thou wilt not set a hand
to what I liarc desred thee i

Ralph. Why don't you speak to suster Pat to
do something, ttten i I thought when she caine
home to us, after my old lady's death, she was to

403

BRITISH DRAMA-

[BlCKEKSTATF.

bare been of some use ia the house ; but, insteail
of that, she sits there all day, reading outlandish
books, dressed like a fiue madumasct, and the
never a word you says to she.

Fair. Sirrah, don t speak so disrespectfully of
thy sister ! thou wilt never have the tithe of her
deserts.

Ralph. Why 111 read and write with her for
what she dercs ; and as for playing on the hapsi-
cols, I thinks her good ricn mother might have
learned her something more properer, seeing she
did not remember to leave her a legacy at last.

Fair. That's none of thy business, sirrah.

Ralph. A farmer's wife painting pictures, and
playing on the hapsirols ! why 1*11 be hanged
now, for all as old as she is, if she knows any
more about milking a cow, than I do of sewing a
petticoat.

Fair. RaJpli, tbou hast been drinking this
morning.

Ralph. Well, if so be as I have, it's nothing
out of your pocket, nor mine neither.

Fair. Who has been giving thee liquor, sir-
rah P

Ralph. Why It was wind — a gentleman guve
me.

Fair. A gentleman !

Ralph. Yes, a gentleman that's come piping
hot from London : he Is below at the Cat and
Bagpipes ; I cod he rides a choice bit of a nag ;
I dare to say she'd fetch as good as forty pound
at ever a fair in all England.

Fair. A fig's end for what she'd fetch ! mind
thy busineH^ or by the lord Harry

Ralph. Why 1 wou't do another hand's turn
to-day now, so that's flat.

Fair. Thou wilt not

Ralph. Why no, I won't ; so, what argufies
your putting yourself in a pasMon, feyther ? I've
promised to go back to the gentleman ; and I
don't know but what he's a lorti too, and
mayhap he may do more for me than you thinks
of.

Fair. Well, son Ralph, run thy gait ; but re-
member I tell thee, thou wilt repent this unto-
wardness.

Ralph. Why, how shall I repent it? Mayhap
you'll turn me out of your service ? a match ;
with all hearts — I cod I dont core three brass
pins.

AIR.

If tfaa^s all yoD wau^ who the plague will be
sorry i

Twere better by half to dig stones in a quarry;
For my share, I'm weary of what is got by't :

S'fleah ! here's such a racket, such scolding and
coiling,

You're never content, but when folks are a toil-
ing,

And drudging, Ukc horpes, from morning 'till
night.

You think I'm afraid ?. bat die dificrence to ibew

you,
First, yonder's jour shovel ; your sadtSy too, I
throw you ;
Henceforward take tare of joor mmtten who
will;
Tliey're welcome to slsre for your wages who

need 'em,
Tol lol derol lol, I have parcbaso « my freedom,
And never hereafter anall work at tbe milL

[Erit.

Enter Patty.

Fair. Dear heart, dear heart ! I protest tlm
ungracious boy puts me quite beside mystH.
Patty, my dear^ come down into the ysrd a hide,
and keep me company — and you, thieves, vaga-
bonds, gipsies, out here ! 'tis you who debaochiDy
sou.

AIR.

Pat. In love to pine and languish.
Yet know your passion vain;
To harbour heart-felt anguish.
Yet fear tu tell your pain.

What powers unrelenting
Severer ills inventing.
Can sharpen pangs like tbew f

Where days aud nights tormenting,
Yield not a moment's ease !

Fair. Well, Patty, master Goodman, mt
lord's steward, has been with me just now, and I
find we are like to have great doings ; his loni-
ship has brought down sir UarrySycamore uxl
his family, and there is more company expected
in a few days.

Pat. I know sir Harry very vrcll ; be is I7
marriage a distant relation of my lord's.

fair. Pray, what sort of a young body is the
daughter there t I think she used tn be with fnu
at the castle, three or four summers ago, wliro
my young lord was out upon his tntveb.

Pat. Oh ! very often ; she was a great f»-
vourite of my lady's: pray, father, is sbe come'
down?

Fair. Why, you know the report last oicbt,
about my lord's going to be married ? by "W
I can leara sbe is ; and there ib likely to be 1
nearer rejationshipbetween the families, ere loiif!<
It seems, his lordship was not over wiUiog for
the match, but the friends 00 hotfa aides in Loo-
don pressed it so hard : then, tben^s a swin^
fortune : Master Goodman tells m^ a matter a
twenty or thirty thousand poonds.

Pat. If it was a million, Aitber,-it would not
be more than my lord Aimworth deserves ; I sof
pose the weddii^ will be celebrased bere at ^
maosion-houie ?

I

Bani?;n duam.a.

Fnir. S<» ir i» (lioiight, n* snon as tliiu^js cn-i

be propcrljr preonn-d -And djw, Paity, it' 1

could Itiit Mc trK-« n littlr tnrrry— C'nrof, birs*
Chcr, plock iiplliy*pini»! — Tri lie miw llinn hwf
siisuunril, in iSe dcatti nfrhy Inly, a iM-a^r lw»;
■be HM & pArrnt lo titec; n:*/, niiH better* tim^
tnncli « ih** took ihcp, wbiri llioii wert l«it n
bal*, ami ri^e Ihcf nn rdaLniiori ^IiiiJi thjr nahi-
nU pairntft could nut n*F>rd to do.

Paf. Aht denr (mlier, d»n*t mmtion whni.
pcfh^ps, h.t5 bwn mv crt-ntost misfnrtiinc.

Jrtir. Nnv, tbm, I*iitty, w lint's lwc«»rne of nil

thy *vn9r, tlini [iconic irilk P«t miicli itboMt ?

But ! hnvr someuiitig tit sity to iIkc, wfiitli 1

would have thrc cimsidrr f^rnmsly. 1 belif vi-

I iifH not t«U iticr, mr ' Itilil.' timl a younv
innrderii riftrr 9)ic is innrriiiirctihlp, cjppculU ii'
ifct ba4 nnr tliinf; ntxrut licr to riniw projtir'.
"iMicf. is tinhle in ill rrtTiptir*. nrid s mfti>v cro**
on-idrnlt ; w lliat, the VMiter i.lit'» out of >inrm*.
wav, the britcr.

Pat. rudoutitcdly, fntlicr, ilwr© tire pf^plc
*n«w|;h who »:»lcb titry n|tjjMriiiiiity to i;rntiK
tbtrir oirii mnlicc; but «beii a vouit« ivoiitnnV

conibic: 1* !iiiblafii«-nblc

Ff*ir. \Vliy, I'mty, tlicM- riinv bn «ot«plbtH2 in
that ; bat you tcnuvr slnodcr' wi!l lenvc s|H)t-.
Mbcrt- iiiitlice rin<K ii*iic: I uiy, tlicn, a yoiriv;
wtmiaJi'» beat tafcpiard Is a e.m.d husband. Noi»
Hiere i* our nriglibonr, Knniier Gilts; \w is ri
kohtr, bonr.st, industrious youDc ft-llow, uikI (Hir
of tbe wciihhicst in (fic»c pn^t^ : h« is sn.ally
Taken wit*i tbec, Biid it it not tbe trr*t time [
lare told tbte I sJiould be glad to bave biui for

■ WKi-ii»-t»«r.

Pat. Ai«l [ bare told yo« «» nfkvn, fiilhpr, I
would submit iny»*lf entirely to y'»iir direction ;
whaictcr ynn think pinner i'.ir nic, is so.

Fair. \Vhy tbnl'» ^pnken like n dtitiful, spn^i-
We ful ; pet tbL* m, tbcu. ;iuil k)iv<j inc lo ninii-
mfc it. Pffbnps our iieti;lib(iLir Gilci is rnt

■ gcndonwii ; b.il wbnt nrc the grcatfst part of
our rountry crrnikmcn ^itod for*

Pat. Vrry triif. father. The MniloH'nls, ;n-
decii h.nvc frequently little cort«sponde«c« with
ttte conditiriii ; lunl it i^ iirojrding to tbcin ulouc
wc uugbt to regulate our esteem.

AIR.

Wtrat are outward fonns and slicws
To an honest heart romparrd ?

Oft the ru*iic, n^ntiiie those,
tlu the nobtei- portioa shared.

Oft we see the homely flower

Bearinp, at the hcth^'n siih*.
Virtue* (if more wtveroif^n (>*o»er

Than the garden's ^ymt pridv.

[Erit.
Knter Gn.rs.
. Well, MoHer Fairfield, you and Miss

nr.

Pot haTc bad a lone discourse together; did you
tell bcr tbflt I f^as come down f

Fair. No, in tnitli, fri<-nd tiilcs ; Ixit t mpn- i
tiotied our ailiiir at n di&taacc; and 1 Uiiak
there n ni fenr.

Otiet. That'n riifbt— and when sliall iia — Yoa
do kuunr I harn lold you iny mtiid often and
often.

Fair. Fanner, pro oi thy hand ; nobody
doul'»t» thy ^o(mI will to me and tny girl ; and yoa
may lake my word, I would ratlwr pve her tn
ihec ihmt nitntlirr; for 1 am ranin cerlaio tbou
wilt ntaUe her a eo(»d husband.

(jiftn. Thanks to your C'*^ opiaion. J^Inster
FnirAeM ; if >uch he my bap, I hope there will
he no C:iuMr of complaint.

F*iir. And I pmiiiiKc thee my daughter will
make inee n tipoicr wife. Jkit tbo<i knoitVt,
fncnd fJiles iht»i I, and all ^*rlnt|^s to nic. hiYC
creat obtii-atioa'^ to loiil Aim worth's family.
Fatly, in partieul ir, would be one of ibe raoM
nniiutefut %vretd»es this day hreathini*, if she
vias Id do the hoiallr^t ibing cimtmry Ut their rna>
scut niiil npprobntinii.

GUcx. Nay. nay, 'li* well enoacb known to nil
[be couiilrv, tJw »va9 llio old |ady'» d.irbns.

Fair, \Vell, Muster Giles I'll a^^iurc iboe sli«
la not one »*liii less obliged to hit lord biniself.
When h» nioth<T was taken olT stj ntddenlv, and I
his itfftiii-s ezillcd him up lo J^nduo, if P«uv
would hare reinoiiit<d at the cswtle, «tie migbt
lia\c h«d (he cornninnd of »«ll ; or if ^lin would
have %fM\c any wbt-re else, he would have jiuid
for her fixine. let the cost br what ir would.

Gitrt. Why, for tbai mwrer, folk* did not
sparf! to Kty, that my lord had a sori of a sneak-
ii^ kindiw>-<; for her himself: and I remember, at
One fifiK*. It was rife all about tl»e nri'j^iboiirhood,
that she w.i>. actunllr In bp our ladv.

Fair. l*ho, ph« \ a pacli of wocniins' tales.
OiUt. Nay, to be sure they'll gay any thing.
F'Ur. Mv loril''* n man of a Irelt^r way r>r
ibinkios, friend Giles — but this is twirhcr her*

nor there to our business liaix yoa bocn hc

the rustic yvt ?

Giln. Who I ! B'es:* ymir heart, 1 did not ficar
a syllnMr of his lordship's bciitf[ romc down, 'till
your lad ^utd nie.

Fair. No! why. riten, t^o op to my lord; lei;
him know yoo liuve o mind tn make a match
with mv daiigbirr; bi-ar t^lint hc )>ns to say to
it : anfl nfierwnrda we will trv if we ourt settle
iiiailer-i.

6'i/ri. Co up to my lord ! Irofl if that be all.
I'll do it with the laaces! plenttim in Iif»-. But
w here's Mia» Pat? Mt^ht one uot ax Iter how
iJ>e do?

Fair, \cver spare it; she's widtin titer*.
(iiki. t «ee her — odd rabbit it. this hatch ia
lock<-d ii'iW"Mi» Pat— MiM Patty —Slieraako
believe mrt W licar me.

3F

410

BRITISH DRAMA.

[BlCKBKSTAPr.

Fair. Well, well, never mind ; tboult come and
eat a morsel of dinner with us.

Giles. Nay, but jnst to hate a bit of a joke
with her at prcicnt — Miss Pat, I say — wnD'tyou
open the door ?

AIIL

Hark ! 'tis I your own true lo»er.
After walking three loiq; loilcs,
One kind look at least discover,
Come and speak a word to Giles.
You alone my heart I fix on :
Ab, you littlf: cunning v'mva !
I can sec your ro<;uisti smiles.
AddsUds ! my mind is so pos&car,
Till w«'re sped, I shan't have rest;
Only say the thing's a bai^oin,
Ilere an you like it,
]{riuiy to strike it.
There's at once an end of arguing :
I'm hcr's, she's tiiiric ;
'I'hus we beal, and thus wc si^. [Estl

Eater Patty.

Fair. Patty, child, why woiild'<t not thou open
the door for our neighbour Giles f

Pat. Really, father, I did not know what was
the matter.

Fair. Well, another time ; he'll be here agtun
presently. He's gone up to the castle, Patty;
thou knowest it would not be ri^ht for us to do
any thing v%ithoui giving hts lordship intp|!i{;ence;
so [ hare sent the fanner to let hint know that
he is wiljinc, and we arc willing; and, with his
lordship's approbation

Pot. Oh, dear father! what ate you goiug to
say?

Fair. Nay, child, I would not have sltrred a
step for lifly pounds, without adi'ertising his
lordship before-liand.

Pat. Uut surely, surely, ynu linve not done
this rash, this precipkatc thins?

Fair. Ilow rash, how is it rash, Patty? I don't
understand tlicc.

Pat. Oh, you have distrcss€sl me beyond ima-
gination ! but why would you not give mc no-
tice ? speak to mc first ?

Fair. Wliy, han't 1 ••poken to thee an hundred
times? Nr), Patty, 'tis ihou that would'stdistre!>s
mc, and thoull break my hearL '

Pat. Dear far her !

Ftiir. All I desire is, to see thee well settled ;
ami now that 1 mn likely to do so, thou art not
contented. I atn sure the fanner is as sightly a
cict'cr lad as any in the country; and is he not
a^ tiood as wc ?

Pat. Tis very true, father ; I am to blame ;
prnv, foivjve mc.

Fair. Forgirc titee ! Lnrd help thee, my dnk^
[ am not Rti>:ry with tbee ; but quiet thyself, I^-
ty, and tliou'lt see all tlus will turn out for the

Pat. What nill become of me? My kid will
certainly imagii.e ibis is done with my coment —
Well, is he not himwlf going to be mmnied to a
lady, suitable to him in mnk, suitmble to him ta
fortune, 06 this farmeristu me? uid, under what
pretence cau I refuse the husbuud ray father bas
found for mc ? Shall I say tltat 1 hare dared ta
raise my inclinations above my cxjoditioo, aod
presumed to love, where my duty taught me ooly
cralitude and respect ? Alas ! Who could lire ia
the houEc with lord Aimworth, see hint, onn«ne
uitli liini, and not love him? IhaTe thiscDBSoia-
tion, however, my folhr is yet undiscovered to
any ; el^ how iJiouiu I be ridiculed and de-
spised ! nay, would not my lord hirosdf desfsse
mc, especially, if he knew that I have more thin
nncc conbrriiid his nntural a6iibility ancT pulile-
ness into ^ntiments as unworthy of him, as mine
arc bold aud extrava^nt. Unexampled noity !
Did 1 posbcss any thiug capable of attractiii*
suL-li a notice, to what purpose could a man ot
hi" distinction cast his eves oo a girl, pour, mean-
ly born, and indebted for every thing to the ill-
placed bounty of his family ?

AIR.

Ah ! why should Fate, pursuing

A wrctrlied thing like me,
Ilenp ruin thus on ruin.

And add to misery?
TIk griefs I languisl^icd under.

In secret let me share ;
But this new stroke 'of thunder.
Is more than I cdii bear.

[Erir.

SC'KNE II. — Changes to a chamber in Low
AiHWomirs house.

Enln- SiK. Harry Sycamore andTatoposi.

Sir Har. Well, but, Theodosia, child, you a«
quite unreasonable.

The. Pardon nie, papa, it is not I am unrts-
soimblc : when I gave way to my inclinations l>>r
Mr Mervin, he did not seem less s^^ceablc to
you nod my mamma, than he wns accqitahle ta
nie. It is, therefore, you hare been unrcasow
ble, in first encouraging his addresses, and after-
wnrds forbidding hiiA your houae, in order i'
brin^ me down here, to force mc onafcotk-

man ■—

Sir Har. Force you, Dossv ! what do m
mean ? By the la, I would uot force tou or tfae
czar of Muscovy !

' The. And ye^ papa, what else can tou call it '
For though lord Aimworth ii extremely attcntiir

r
I

BlCKERSTAFl--.]

BRITISH DUAMA.

41t

?.

nrl obliging, 1 nisurc yon he is by uo mcaiii one
^f ihc iDORt ardctit of Io«ers.

■Sir Har. ^rdciil ! Ali, Ihrrr it is; you prli
ncTer think there it rhv love, williout kit^iiii* iiiul
huggins; but you AhauUI consider, child, my i<>rd
Atuiwortit is a polite iitun, and hns hci-n abroad
in France and Italv, where thcM: tiling* »tv iti>t
the fuliion. I rcrofmlwr, "hcii I wm uii my ini-
vels HBioii^ Uic miulamcri nitd Hiennnis, wo ni ver
saluted more thao the tip uf Ux cnr.

U'^t. Umllr, papa, you hnvr n rrry simnitc
opiniiiQ ot' loy dfUcacy ; I hud iiu •lui-h stull in
my thoi»cht*.

Sir Hur. Well, corno, my porir Dnuy, f sre
mi nrv chagrtncfl, but you kouw it i<t iint my
Wult ; uu t)ic' rniitrAry, I nvtiin* %<iii, I linij iil-
Mdyft a^rcnt rrijurd for youit); Merviii, aiidehiuild
have U-cii 1 erv ^larl

THe, Wavt then, pn|tfi, ivmld you joiu in furcine
me to write him tJiat »imii;:c letter, iicttr lu >ec
iiie ninre ; or Iimw, indotd, i-uuM t Cs>iu)i]y with
your ciimmiiTiiis ? What ii.ntt Ik? ihitik. itl lucP

i«r i/ar. Ay, but huld, Dussy : your iiioiuiiiu
cans iii(-rd lue that Itc nn.9 not su prupcr B suii-
in-Iaw tor us a» lord Aiiiiwunh.

Tl^. Couviiict-d yuK ! Ah, toy d<«r p»t>a, >iiu
■were nifi r«n»mn'd.

Sir Har. What ! tlun't I Lutiw tvlini I aui coii-
viiKXtd ^

TTSr. Why no, pnpa; Iwcaiiw your gnod-nn-
luK aud i'»<)!n«.« itl' lirtiiper n ^uch, that you p.iv
Diorcre^pix'l to tlicjiidn^iiicntof mauttaii, aud lct.!>
to ynur nwi), tlliill you nuulit to do.

iiir Har. Wtll, hut, I Jo'wy. O-Ju't yt»o »cc how
vour maimAt lore- tne? it'iiiy liliu<.'rdu<>*biit hi'Ih',
the** like n farnicchctl wuutnii; and, it' I hus to
flic, 1 don't bclirvr blic would oiillivc the burning
Afmo : nay, >he )■«» told iiii: tu luucli herself.

7%r. Her fondness indeed, is very extraordi-

i»r /far. Itcaides, <»Mld vou f^^c up iIk: prr>»*
pert of Iwing a couutc*$, aud mijtrm ol' tliis Jme
plvre?

The. Y«, truly oiuld I.

AIR.

With tlie mail thai I luvn, wo* I rieitined to

dwell.
On a nKHiutain, a miwir, in s rot, in a cell,
Itfrlrcats the uiost honvu, muit dcMsrt, would

be
Iklore plcaai&g Uuui courts, or n palace, to mc.

ot tlkC vaio and tlic venal, in wedlock n»pire

,o what fully cttcc'iis ami ihc vulvar admire;

[ yicM tbem the bliM, where their wiblir.^ arc

placed;

eiuJblc creatatVA ! 'ti» all tlicy can taste.

Enter Lady SrcaHonc
[X^^ SifC Sir Harry, where arc you?

Sir Har. Here, iny lamb !

Lady Sjfc. I am ju&i come from lo^'iking orer
lit* l)ird»liip*^ fimily lriutict>. Wi-tl. Mi*s Syca-
more, yoii nrv u nitppv crcnturt, to linTc dia-
raonrls ct)ui|>n2e, title, nil the bleMinp of life
poiirtil lliiis npnn you nt once.

T/tc. Btc?3iiq>&, laudam ! I)o yon llntik, iJK'n,
1 am such a wn?tch n»tu place uiy felicity in ilic
poue»ion of any such tnnnpcry?

Laihf Syc. L'|i(ui my tiord, niiss, yon hare a
iciy di^duinful looiiiicr uf cipres^itiK younetf. I
beliL-vc there nrc %'iTy few youii» women of fa-
shion, wIk* utiuUt ilunk any sacrilicc iWy ciuld
tuHki', too uMicli f'li- thrni. Did yiai ever hear
tin* like (if lnr, wr llariy^

Sir Har. Why, my dear, I Iwne jiiM been talk-
iiik; lu her iJi the some unun; but, uluttcior alie
hii* E«tl ill her head

l^ify Sjur. Oh, it i$ Mr Mcnin, licr LXiitleman
of Uucklcrsbnry. I*jc, inms, ntariy a cil I whom
i» yunr pridr, your vanity? have you nuilliug of
the prrMio ul (ll^lillClion .ilxnil vou ?

Sir Hur. Wrll, but, my lady, you know I am
a piccf of a cil iiiystlf, as I may iay; for uiy
i;rciitp-ai>dfaUitT wa« a ilry aattcr.

iVic. And yet, iwtdam, yuu cundcKrcndcd tu
marry my pupa?

Lui/jr Syc. Well, if I did, mis.\ I had but fire
lliottsand pounds to my iK>vtK>n, and tir llarry
kiKiwit 1 wa<i pa&t ei^tt ttutl tbirly, bclbre I would
listen M him.

>ir Hiir. Xay.Dossy.diat'stnie; yotirninmma
on-ned t ii;hl and thirty, before we were murried;
but, by tliL hi, uiy dc:ir.you were a tuvely anjivl !
and, by cnuillc-li|>hi, nobody woukj have taken
yuu for above live nnil twenty.

iMtty Syr. Sir Hurry, you remember the last
time 1 naa at my lord duke's?

Sir Har. Vc», my hive; it was the rery dajJ
your liitje hildi iMmkey pupi.

J^nty Sye, And pray, what did the whole f»
mily uiy? my lord John, and my lord Thtmiai^
ami my hidy ducliC^i ia panicular? C</u»in, aayt^
her grono to tnc — for sliu always tailed wc cou-

Tkf. Well, but, madam, to cut tbi« maiicf
short at nncp. my latlier has a great regard for
.Mr Sicrvm, and would oonbcoc to our uiwjn with
all his lieart.

tjiJi/ .Syi'. Do you MT so, sir llarry f

Sir Har. Who, I, love !

ImJv 'Vyc- Itten, all toy care and prudence art
come to notIun|(,

Sir Hnr. Well, but stay, my lady — Dc^sy, you
•ro always making miu:hicf.

7**/. Ah ! my dear sweet

IjtJy Sye. Do, mhi : that's rii^ht ; coax

'Ar. No, madam, 1 am not capable of «tty~>
such meaniiesA.

Lady Syc. Tis rciy dfU of you to cantntdict
mc, howrycr.

Sir Har. Kh ! whatathatP— bamboff, Douy;
don't come near tne.

4]2

BRITISH DRAMA.

[BXKECSTATF.

Altt.

Why, how nnw. Miss Pert,

Do ytm ihiuk to divert
My anser by fuivniiig anil stroking?

Would you make me a foot,

Your play-thing, your tool ?
Was ever young minx to provoking?

Get out of iny sight !

^Fwould be serving you Hg.ht,
To lay a soumi dose of the lash on ;

Contradict your mainma !

r* e a miiiii, by the I_a ! —
But I won't put myself in ■ passion.

[Exit The.

Enter Lord Aiiiworth and Giles.

Lord Aim. Coine, farmer, you may come in ;
there arc none here but friends — sir Uurry, your
servant.

Sir Har. My lord, I kiss your lordship's hands

■ ' "I hope he did not overhear us squabhliiti;

— [Asidf.] — I have been chatterinE, here, with

my i\ife and daughter, my lord — We have been

examining yotir lordship's pictures.

Liird Aim. I (latter myself, then, her ladyship
found souicthiiig to entertain her; there arc a
few of them counted tolerable. Well now, mas-
ter Giles, what is it you have got to soy to me?
If I can do you any service, tliis company will
give you tenve to speak.

Gilt-s. I (hunk your lordship; I has not got a
great deal to say. I do come to your lordsliip
about a little business, if you'll please to give mc
the liearin):.

LotdAim. Certainlv, only let me know what
it is.

Gilet. Why, an {^ease you, my lord, being left
alone, as I may say, feyther dean, and all the bu-
bin€f.s upon my own hanHf*, I do think of K-ttling
and tal.ing a wife, and am come to ax your ho-
nour's conwnt.

Lord Aim. My consent, farmer ! If that be

necessary, you have it with all my heart 1

hope you have taken care to make a prudent
choice ?

GUe$. Wliy, I do hope an, roy lord.

Lord Aim. Well, and who is the happy fair
one ? Does she live in my house ?

GiU>. No, my lord, she does not live in your
house, bat she's a parson of your acquaintance.

I/>rd Aim. Of my acquaintaooe ?

GUet. No oficnce, 1 hope, your hcniour.

Lord Aim, None in the least ; but bow is ^e
an acquaintance of mine ?

Gikt. Your lordship do know lailler Fair-
field?

Lord Aim. Well

Giles. And Patty Fairfield, his daughter, my
lord?

Ijord Ainu Ay ! is it her yoa thinii of tutxry

mn ?

Giles. Wbv, if so be as your lordship Ims no
objection ; to be sun*, we will do oulhuig witl^
out your consent and approbation.

Ijird Aim, Cpon my word, tiirii.cr, you have
m:ir4c nn eicclient choice — It is a piid-daBghter
uf my inoilicr'N madam, who was bred up under
licr care, and 1 protest I do not know a more
iimiubic voimg wotnau. But arc yuu tiurc, far-
lutT, that l*itity herself is iuclinable to iHa
Uiiitcli?

Giles. (> yes, my lord, I am certain of tlta^.

Lird Aim. Feriiapf, ibt-n, slie desired you to
comf; nod ask roy coustnt?

GiUi. Why, as far as ihis here, mj k>nl ; to
be sure, tlie miller did not care t» pubti&li the
i>:unib, \viihiiut muking your lurdsbip acquainted
— But I hope your hoiu>ur*s not ancry witli I?

Lard Aim. Angry, farmer ! Why slmuld yon
think fai What interest have I tDittubeu-

S:r liar. And so, honest turmer, yuu arc go-
ing to bu miirricd lo little Patty Fatr6eUl ? Sfaei
nn old a'cquiiintance of mine ; how long have yoa
uofl slie born sweethearts?

Gtlit. ^sot a loii^ while, va please yoarwot*
!>hiii.

.>■//■ ii»r. Wf.l, lur fiitln-r's n ^ood w:irm M-
low; I supp'ijf you take ciire that she Uiu£i
stiinctiiiui: (<i iniiko llie jxtt br>il ?

ImHii Si/r. W bat docs th«t omeem yon, sir
Ilnrrv? lluw often must I tell you of inc«liliu^
in otiier |tei)[ilc's aji'uirs?

■Sir Mar. My lord, a penny for yonr tboupbt*.

Ltiid Aim. 1 beg your pardon, sir Harry: up-
>jn mv noni, 1 fi'iA not think where 1 wa!>.

Giiet. \V«:I1 tht-n, your booour, I'll mnkr lnAt
to li£ taking my leave ; I ntay mt you gutc v^!^-
»fnt for Miss Pnity and I to go on r

Lord Aim. ruiloubtedly, fanner, if s^c *•!"
proVes of it : but tire yuu nut MfrnMl, that brr tdt-
cniion has rcndcti-d her a littie unsuitable luf a
wife fur sou ?

jAidif HjfC. Oil. my lord, if the -ririV IuikIj—

Sir Hur. Oh, »v — whcjl n t'trl's hnitd) —

Gil-s. Ihuidi ! Why, siiiiiiii rc>pett, tlKTf'»
uothin;: c<i!nrs luuiss to her; .-UicV oAt. at(^fr)
vHi'^1 kind ul tiling.

AIR.

Odd's my life, search England over.
An you match her Jn tier station,
I'll be bound to tly tlie natioa :

And be sure as well I lore ber.

Do but feel my heart a beating
Still her |Ketty name rCficMiBg;
Here's the work 'tis always at,
Pitty, patty, pat, pit, pat I

BiCKER&TAFF.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

41d

en

Whi'ii slt« makes th« ma^ic linlile,
W^iut on ycarih can ftM«(;i4T be ?

'riicn hrr litlic eye* v* twinkle,
'i'lB ■ fciut tu hear and tee.

[ErU Giles.

!iir H»r. By Hud, lhi» is a ipxwl merry rrlluw •
n nut tie in lotc willi liu )>iity [lUtlY P — AihI vi,
iitr lorit, ytju ttavc i;iveii your cuii»citt lUitt ho
thall niBvry your mollicr's old iwueokccpcr i Ah,
well, 1 can »cn

Zjpn/ jjim. Ni'txkly doubts, w ILu-rv, llmt jruu
niT vtTT tlcar-*i2iiteil.

&> //lir. Vcs, vcs, let mc nl»nc>, t knovr u hnt'»
wlut : 1 was a yuun^ felliMV inil'C in^scir; luid 1
ftliuulil hnvp hrfin glud of a ir-iiant lf> tnkr n
preuv 0rl off tay boods^ uow and then, as vtcll
an nii'^ttirr.

lord Aim. I protest, my denr friend^ I don't
twdcrstatid roti.

Latiy Syir. Nor nobody c!*c : sir Harry, you
arc c<Hi»e at wmv ttanthavt^s iinw,

Hu Itar. Who, I, lUY luHv ! Not I, a« I hope

live null brenthf f 'tis nnthin||> to us, von know,
It tor l<>nt ti*m bcfttrc lie i» tirarriird ; when 1
ft Imchclor, 1 wns a dctilniiinii* tlie weoctie*
^Wirael:*; ntj-i yet I vow to Cicir^c, mv lord, since
I Incw itiy lady Srrnmorp, niid nc aliall (m- niui)
auil ••"lie cigtilecii yeiirs if "-c live tiil itext Cau-
<tlcni» day, I iwvcr had to do- — -

/-rtiVjj vSyc. Sir lliirry, omif iiut of the roiiitH I
dt%irt.

Sir liar. Whv, what's live tnalt*r, my lady ? I
did nnC my any liann.

LaJy Svr. I n^ what you are driving at ; you
want to make mc taint

Str Har, I want to make you faint, my lady !

Lady 3vc< Vcs, you do — And, if you dun't ctimc
9UI this iii^rani, I shall fnll down in thr chnmbcr
^I b«R, my Ion), vou fron't spi-uk |u htm. VNill
joa ctNncoul. sir HutTyl

&r liar. 'S^j, btit, my lady

JytJ^ Syc. No; I will have yon nut.

[Rifttnt Sir U*r. and I**dy Sit.

Lortt ■Ail'. This worttiy hnronct nitd his lady
mn crrtninly a rery whtin«cal conple ; Imwcvcr,
their daaiihter is prrfcctly amiable, in every re-
spect : nnd yet, I am ftitrry I h.ive brunght her
Oiivrii here; fur can 1 in honour marry hrr, while
my aiTcctioiu are ciifpifEcd to aaoltK-r f To whnt
d>M*» lIic pri>lc of cuuiiiriim, uod the ceoMire of
the world, force rac ! MukI I, then, renounce the
Only (icrwMi that cto luakc mc hftppy ; tiecausc —
tvctiii^c Mti»t^ bccnuM; tht^'s a miller'^ [lnii|i;htrr?
Vmut pndc, and unjust ccnsore ! tuis ilic not nil
Kreces that cducahQii can s>vc her mmi, ioi-
rnd by a ccui*u seldom found nmong the bigh-

i f Ihu nlie not modesty, swectims of temper,

i beauty of person, capable of adonrme a rank

tno« exulted ? But it is trm Utc to uiink of

I tww ; tnv baud i» prumiMidi my bo-

tiour engflftcd : and if ir wn» not so, the has en-
gaged herself; the fnrmer is n person to her
miitdj sod I have autlioriiicd thur uuion by my
appfvbntiuit.

AIU.

The madman thus, at tintes, wc see.

With Mrtmiii;; rcjoon blest ;
His looks his wvirds, liu (hmights, ut frce^

And speak a mind at rut.

Uiit slion the ritins of en»c and seni^

And nh ! uncL'riiiin. loo;
VVhiUi (hilt idcn lives from whence

At drat Itis (nuiy grtw.

[Eiit Loan Aim.

SC&KG lU.—CAung0g to tUe pmpeet of the
miU.

Enter Rai pu. u-itk Mchvin, 14 a riJing-dras,
J'ttiiuued hif Vashv.

Fun. Ah^ pmy, your hotMtu-, Izy if you have
not lotnt^bing to spare for pour Fanny tlic ^ip-
scyi

Ralph, t icU you, Fan, the gentleman has 00
cliiiiij:;* nUjot him ; why lite phigue will you b«
ifO truuMesomc i

i'rin. Lord, what is it to you, if bis honour lias
A mind I'l givr me n irillcf Do, pray, genllctrntn,
put yuur band in your pocket.

MtT. 1 am aluHm distracted ! Ungrateful
Theodmin, to chnngf so suddenly, nnd write me
surh n letter! llonerL-r, 1 am ri.'sohcd lo have
my disnitsfrion fuoe to fncc; tliis letter may bo
forced fnun her by her muiher, wlio, I know
was never cordiulty my friend. 1 could not f[Ct a
si^ltl tif her ill London, but here they will l»e less
»n llKir i;uHrd; uiid scu ber I nill, by one mean*
i»r oilier.

Fuu. Then your honour will not extend your
cltority f

AIR.

1 nm younK, nnd I am fricndlesi.

And poor, aUi ! nithni;
Sure iny sorrow* will he endtew;

In vtiin for help I mil.
Have some pity in y«'"r naturcv
To relieve n wretched crenturc^,

Tliougb the fjtil be ne'er w> small.

May you. |Krtws«ins; every Wessing,
Still inlieriL, Hir, nil you mcrii, »ir,
Ami never know whnt it i^ tu wnnt ;
Sweet bniven, your norship all IiappiufaA
(rant !

\Exit FA»Pt',

414

BRITISH DRAMA

[BlCKERSTAFF.

Ralph. Now ri! po Dnd take that money from
her, Hiid I have good iDind tu lick her, so I have.

Mer. Pho ! prithee, btay where you arc.

Jiaip/i. Nay, but i hutc tu xv a tuud so devil-
ish crecdy.

Mcr. Well, come, shcliB* not gwt a great deal,
and I have thought how bhe uiay do nie a favour
in her turn. ' , •=

Hafph. Ay, but you mny put that out of vour
hoitd, fur I can tell you she won't.

j\lcr. How so ?

Ralph. How so ! why, hhv's ai running as the
dtvil. ' *

il/cr. (> •■he i^ 1 fancy 1 understand you.

Vcli, ill thut case, friend Kalpii — Y'our name's
KiiIi.M ihiiik?

Ralph. Vta, sir, at your service, for want uf a
better.

Aler. I say. then, fiicnd Ralph, in (hat rase,
»'C will remit the Aivour vuu think of, till the la-
dy ii in a mure coiujjlvinj; Immour, and try ii'ahe
cannot xirve me at present in some other r;ipn-
city — There arc a good nirmy j^ipsies hereiiUfut,
are there not?

Ralph. Solely — I Iiavc a wliolc pann of them
here, in nur bai'ii; I ha\c ktpt thc-ni nl out the
place tlirsc three nionllis, and all un uiotiiit of
(.he.

Mrr. Realty!

Ralph. Yen but for your hfc don't say n

word of it to any Chribtiuit 1 am in love with

lier.

Mn: Indeed !

Ralph. Fcyther h as nmd with me ahnut it as
old Scratch ; and I ^cls llu plague and all of an-
ger ; but 1 don't mind that.

ilftT. VVell, friend Ralph, if you are in love,
no doubt you ha%'e »oiiic influence over your mis-
tress. Don't you think you could prevail upon
her, and her coinpanicms, to supply me with one
of their habit!*, and let me go up with them to-
day ic) my lord Aimwortli's?

Ralph, Why, do you want to go a mumming?
Wc never do that here, but in the Chribtmas ho-
lidays.

j\JtT. No matter : manaEie this for mc, and
manage it with secrecy, and I promise you shall
not go unrewarded.

Ralph. Oil ! as for that, sir, I don't lojk for
any thni;.; ; I ran easily get you a bundle of their
ragTt ; hut I don't know whether you'll prevail
on thrin to go up to mv lord's, because they're
afr:i'd of u big dug that's in the yard: but I'll
tell vo<i uhaC I can do; 1 can goup before yuu,
and !ia\e the ilog fastened, for I know his ken-
nel.

Mfr. That will do very wtl! — By means of
thi« di'j;i.if'j, I bhall probably get a si^ht of her;
and I leave the rest to love :i:id fortune.

AIR.

Why quits the merrhant, blest with ease,

The pleasures of his native seat,
To t£nipt the dangers of the seas
And crimes more perilous tlian these,
Midst freezing cold, or scorching heat?

He knows the hardship*^, knows the paip,
The length of way, hut thinks it small ;

The sweets of what he hopes to gain,
Undaunted, make him combat all.

[Exeunt.

SCENE IV.
Enter Patty, Ralpp, Gii-es, and Fanst.

Giles. So hi:) lordslnp was as willing as tlie

flowers in May and as I was coming alone,

who should I meet but your father — and he bid
nie run in all haste and tell you — for we were
sure you wriuld be deadly glad.

J'at, I know not uhat business you had to go
to my lord's at all, farnur.

Gtlct. Nay, I only did as I was dei^trcd — Mas*
ter Fuirtit-ld bid me tell you, moreover, as bow
he would liave you go up tu my lord out of liand,
and iliank iiiii.

Ralph. So she ought : and take off Uioie
ciotliei-, ai:d put on what's more becoming her
station; you t.now my father spoke to you of
that this nioroiiig too.

Fat. Druther, I sliall obey my father.

AUl.

Pat. Lie slill my heart; oh, fatal stroke,
That kilU at once my hopes aad me !

Gila. Miss.Pat!

Pat. What?

Gilfx. Nav, I only spoke:

Ralph. Take courat^e, mun, shedoesbut joke;

Come, hU'-ier, sumewhat kinder be.
i'uii. I'liis is a tliiuL; the most oddest,

Suuie iuiksant so piaguily modest!
Ml} t Were we in ihc case,
,-.''■? To be in their place,
■''""■ t Wc'.l carrv it olT with a dificrcot face.
Giles. Thus I take ber bv the lily band,

Si) soft and white.
Ralph. Why now that's right;

And kit's her too, mun, never Btand.

Pat.
GiUs.

j^What words can cxptnin

pleasure — my pain ?
It pn-'ise!, it ri»p-*,
Mv heart it oarprises,
I I can't keep it down, tbou^ Fd oerer
^' so fain.
Fan. So here the play ends.
The lover* are friends;
Ralph. Hush!
i'an. Tush !

BlCKEBSTAPP.]

BUmsH DRAMA.

Gilft, Xab •
Pat. pHlia!

AH. M'lior torment's exceeding, what Jo^y& btc
nbuvc.

ACT IL

I

SCENF. I. — Awnrbit t>or)iea,ornawent(dKith
tiattuSt a-liicH ofMHi Jrum LuHo AlMWOttiu's
Ao««f ; two rkair$ nrar tht/tiiat.

Entrr Lord Aimwortii, rtadittg.

Tsr how coatcmptitile a lii^ht nuiilil llif> nitiMtinti
I urn now iri ihi-w mc to ra.jst tif ihc Tiiie (neii
of ilie iircsriti au;i- ! In love «ith a c(»untrv Rlrl —
rivalled hy a poor tclluw, mii* nf my menn?«t
U-fMnts unit uneasy ut it ! ll' I liiitl a uiiiiil l<i licr,
1 know iJicv w^tul/l Icll mv, J i)U>;ljl to liavc Ui-
keii mrc to iiuikt- inywIC r.v>y Uah: nuo, when 1
had her in mv power. Rut I liinc- tin- t(.«liiu"iiiy
of uif imu licnrt in my fav4>ur ; and I llunk, wo*
it to du ni;aiii, I biiouid act a) I Itnve done. Xxt's
tec wh«t wc have licit- — |H*rliti|i^ a Iwwtk may
cuuipuM? iiiv ilwuplili. [Headr, and thiOAi the
look attuii.^ It'> to iiu iiiiriKi-f — I cnii't reAd. I
I't thinkj I c.iii'c do auy tJiiiig !

AUl.

All! how raiiily tnortol^ ircnsur©
ilofic* of li:i[i|iirw''S iui'i (ilcrtMirp,

Hard ai)(J ditulttfnj 1(1 itbiNiM;
By «liul btnndanb falii; wc invuurc !

^'Jilj purwita^

Wuv* lo mill,
Seeking bitM, niiij finding pair).

Enitr Patit.

I P«/. Now cimci the triiil I no, my Mntcitci.'
fit alrrody pronnuiin'l, atid I will meet my fate
^with priiiii'itf oaulI itH. till til in.

I,i>rd .(/«. W(itr«. llicru?

PmJ Mvlml!

t4Wii Aim, VaU v Fairfiiild !

Pat, I InMiibtv Ix^ pariiuii. my loni, for prcss-

|l»Z Wt 4)icil|it|v itlM V'Mir [irfSCIKT; hot I «U5
||0IU 1 lut^lit wntk tliiK wuv ; nml I ufi) I'omi; l>v
^_UT liillicr'i comniaijiU lu th>iiiL your li(rd»hii> fur
ftll viMit I'miiurs

Idtni Aim. l-'HVi)un, Pauv ! nhttl fuvoim? I
' I mint*: but whv ihii inruunorphu-
il' vuii h:i>J not spuke, I slnxiM not
'*i» Vim; J iictrr saw vimi wmr »ucli
I a* ihcM; ill Illy iiirtilici'V Itlu-iimc.
Nu. my ior<t. k wn^ her ladyUiip's plca-
|I •itiMltii nciir iM-Mrr, and lltrrefniv I xlM^y-
but u 15 ni(w my duty ii* drcu in a maniter
I suitable to my^tfttintij and futuru prufipccts
iliie.

The paint and thr picnwret (hat wail ttpoo
kivvl

Ijtrd Aim. I am afraid, I'ntry, rmi arc too
hmuhir — t'CMnc, ut down — ivay, J ivi|| Imve it ml
\Vli;it i» it 1 have Ucn told Kvday, Fatty f Ic
icrnis yoii arc going to he mtirrii'd ?

Pttt. Vfis my lu/d.

ImiJ Jim. ^Vell, and dun't yuu think you
C'tuld have in:ido a Witcr ihuicr than farmer
Cfilt-A? I iIkiiiIiI iiu:i>:iiie your |>crvMi, yuur rd-
ri>mph<ihniciits, mii^liC havt- cniitit'd yuu to look
hiKhir.

Put. Voiir lordship is plraacd to oti-ivnilc my
litth.- iimrit: t!ic cdukntion 1 rccctk'cd iti vuur fa-
mily diic) imt eutitle mv to fot^et my origin; aud
the frtriin;r b my cqtiah

Ijtrd Jim. In what re»p€ctf TIte decrees of
nmk and fortimr, my drar P«tty. arr nthitniry
distinrttotis miwiiriliy tlic ri'^iiLid uf tlioie who
consider juitly. The true stnildard of cqit'itity 19
»'alr(| III I he mind: tlmsc who lliiiik nolily Br«
ttulitc.

Pat. The farmer, my lord, i* n very honest man.

fjard Aim. So he may— I «hin*i fciippose he
wmild brtJik into a hnuM*, or cntnmii u mUiery
on the hi:;tiWRy : what do you tcit mc of hii hn-
iMiaty for?

Pat. 1 did not mean to oflcnd yvur liirdUiip.

lAn-ti Ainr. ( tlTl-iid ! I iiHi nirt otft-iulcJt Patty;
not at all riffond^d — But i» there any j^rcat loeriC
ill a mmA In:ing huiicst ?

Pat. I ihm't My tliere !&, my lord.

l^ni Jim. I'lic Inrmer it an iii-brcil, tllilrmtr
l><mhy : nrxl ulmt hapiiiiietacnn you pn)p<.*>e to
yoiirsrir in sudi a ^uaety f Tbcii, n lo ht» per-
son, 1 BUI suro^fitiL pcrluips Paltr. yuii hkc
liiiii ; niKl if so, I niii dnin^ a Mroni; thiji^

}'at, I'ptinniy «Dril, my lord

Jjoni Aim. Nay, I ?■« yon do : he lias had ihff
ynijd fortune to pl'caw vou ; and, in lliat fM><; you
nxc> incriaittly in lUc rifht to folltrat your inclina-
tion!!— I must trll you one lliiiip. Pally, liowetcr
— I Iwpc you won't thtiik it unfiivudly of mc^
liut I am ttL'termincd larrnrr Oiln Umll nut Uny
a moment oci my estate, tiller next r|uart4:r-day.

Pot. I iHipc, my lord, be luu lUM incurnfd yuur
d»*>p'fa5ure

hird Ainu That'^of no wgoiCL-atioii — Could I
find na many ftond i]iiiUttif» in lilm »•> you dii.

prrtui|n^ -Hilt 'liv etHioch. In-** o Icllow I duu't

hkc ; and, n^ you hove a ni:ard for liim, I would
liiive you advi«e him u* protidt- lumM'If.

Pat. My I'inl, I am tcry unfurtuuiile !

f^ird Jim. She lovc^ him, 'li» plaiiv ^CanWt

Patty, dnn't cry ; I would not willingly do any
tiling to ttiake you uneasy— Uare you M!cn Mm

410

BRITISH DUAMA.

[BlCKEBSTA^r.

Syrainore jret ? — I si>pj>Qsc you know she and I
urc goin^ to be nuirricH.

Pat. So I hear, my lord Ilcaveo make you

both liappy !

Lord Aim. Tlmiik you, Fatty ; I hope wc shall
be happy.

Pat. Upon my knees, upon my knees, I pray it !
May every eiirthlv bliss attend yuu ! may your
days prove an unniterruptcd course of delightful
tranquillity ! und your mutual friendship, con-
fidence, and If»ve, end but with yuur lives !

ImtH Aim. Rise, Patty, rise ; hay no morn — I
luppose you'll wait up4>ii IVIiss Sycamore before
you go away — at prcsciif, I have a little business

As I said, Patty, don't afflict youn-elf : I

have bceo somewhat Inuity witli regard to tlie
farmer; but wice I see how dteply you are in-
terested to his atlUirs, I may pos^iibly alter my

designs with regard to him You know — You

know, Patty, your marriage with him is no con-
cern of mine — I only speak——

AIR.

My passion in vain I att<-mpt to di!«<:emblc;

Til' endcavonr to hide it, but makes it appear:
Enraptured, I gaTC ; when I touch her, I tremble,

And speak to and hear her, with faultcring and
fear.

By how many cruel ideas tormented !

My blood's in a ferment — it freezes, it bums !
This moment I wiati, what the next is repented ;
While lore, rage, and jealousy, rack me by
turos.

[Exit,

Enter Giles.

Oifa. Miss Pat— Odd rabbit it, I thought his
finnour was here; and I wish I luay die if my
heart did not jump into my mouth — Lome, come
down in all haste! tlicre's such rig below as you
never knew in vour born days.

Pat. Ri;;!

Giln. Ay, and fun — Tlicre's as good as forty
of the tenants, men und maidens, hare got upim
the lawn before the castle, witfi pipers and gar-
lands; just for all the world as thoJ it xvti9 May-
day ; and the quality's looking at them out of tlie
windows — Tis as true as any thing; on account
of my lord's coming home with his new lady —
Look here, I have bnmglit a string of flowers
along with me.

Pat. Well, and what then?

Gilet. Why I was lliinkihe, if so he as yon
would come down,' as we might take a dnncc to-
gether: little Sni, farmer Harrow's daufrhttr, of
the Green, would fain have had me for a partner ;
but 1 said as how I'd go for out: I Hkcd better;
one that I'd make a partner for life.

Pat. Did you say -io?

Giia. Yes, and she wtfs struck all of » bett|H-
she had not word to throw to & do^ — for Sal and
I kept company once for a htcle bit.

Put. Farmer, I am going to say something to
you, and I desire you will listen to it attentively.
It seems you tliink of our being married t<^
gethcr ?

(riicx. Think ! why I think of Dolliing ehe.
It's all over the place, 'tnun, as how jou wt lo
be my xpouM^; and yna would not believe what
game folks make of me.

Pat. Shnil I tulle to you like a friend, farmrr?
You and f were never de-^igiied for one artodicr;
and 1 am morally certaiu wc should uot be
hapfiY .

Oifes. Oh ! as for that matter, I nerer bis no
words with nobody.

Pttl. Sliiiil I speak plaioer to yoOf thea?— I
don't like yuu.

Ci7r>. Xo!

Pat. On the contrary, you are di&agrecable to
me

Gifet. Am I ?

Pat. Yes, of all things : I deal with yoa ao-
cerelv.

GUm. Why, I thuu|>ht, Misa Pat, die affiur bc-
twer II you and [ was all iixed and wttled !

Pat. Well, let this undeceive you — Be tssm^
ed we itlialt never be luaii and wife. No (At
shall persuade, nu command force mc — You
know my mind, make your odvautage of it

AIR.

Was I sure a life lo lend.

Wretched as the vilest slave.

F.very hordbhip would I brave ;
Rudest toil, severest need ;

Ere yield my liand $o coolly.

To the man who never truly
Could iny heart in keeping have.

Wealth with others success will insure ym,
Where your wit and your persoo totj
please ;
Take to them your love, I conjure you,
And in inercv set mc at ease.

[£ii.'.

Giles. Here's a turn ! I drtn*t know wbai »
make of it: she's gone mad, ihiit's f.»r sartio—
wit and tcaniinz !iave cracked her hniin— Pi"*
Stiul ! poor Mill ! It is oftott the caae of ll"*
who have Uw ninch of them. iMrd, Luid, b"*
sorry I be ! But h'liri, ^ht* »v* I boint »
her mind — may?:'t all this be tlie eScct of mfl^"*
coyness to do like the gentlewomen, becanse *^
was bred among tlitm ? And I Imve Iie»nl»^
they will be up<'n their \ixcn tiieks. till ifcf^
into the vi-ry chur'-li willi a mmi- food, tb'-'*'
nothing moi-e likelier; for ii is ilie iTyoff

BiCKBRSTAFF.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

417

■nd aH, ikmt ibe% Ux moral nf a la<lv in every
dwig : and our fanncTV dBuehton, fur the njat-
ter of Omx, iho*(* ihey ti«tv imUiin^ (o hooH of
boC m temp or red ribbon nbnut tbeir tiais, will
have MM aany lurnme^ anri wtudinn as a hitrt*,
before one cun lur ii Out Iwilil ut' UM-ra. Tlwrr
OBU no harm cmnr tif spcni iti)* witli Master Fair-
field, iKfnmror. Odd rahlut it, lutw plnguv inrt
•be was ! I am half «cU with utywif now, iliat 1
fcchargoaffio.

AIR.

When a maid, in way of muriaget

Kint IB cuurlcd try a mm,

l^t 'un do tbr U'st Iw cau,
Ske't tu »tt;tnie-farcd in her carriage,

Tis with patu ilie suit's Iwpni.

ThoV niaylmp she Iikc» liiTn mainly,
Still >lic »luun> i: city mid <-n1d ;

l^sriiig to conrt^t it plninlv.

Lest cbr folkt stiould think Ikt bold.

Bat *be panon ooinc« in sight,

Gim t)ic word to bill and coo;
*IW a dilkTrDl Mr.rr qiiilc,

And sbe quickly tttcile* loo.

[Etit.

8CBNK U.

Ckanfift to a ririt- of Lofd ArMwoRxn's hov$e,
mnJ •wnrotYMmti r a 4nt undrr a trrc, and
part ttf the garden «ra//, vilh a Ckiuxtr pavi'
iion <»PfT (/. SfTfrat coantry [Ko/ile apjtear
dttnting, olhert ftxikiuv im ; titmm/* ickum art,
AlcnviN. ^itpuiMtil^ Uaipu, Favnv, oitd u
HMtmber of gifuv. Ajitr thr dnnrtrt go iifj\
Tiiiit[>mr4 ««</ P\TTV rater through a /^ate,
tuppatrd to have » eoHiuvtitM iritk the priuct-
pai ImildiKg.

TV- Weil, ihcn, mv tknr r«try. yog will nm
•way tram uit? t>ut wity in Midi a hurry? 1 Imvc
• chou^iiiil 'hnic»tu sny ti>^iiii.

Pat. 1 »Iudl di( aijHti-If t\w iKittntir tn pay my
duty ti> yuu utme other tiiiir, m.-iil;uii ; tit prr-
■cnt [ rratly find itiT^cir n little inrii^prncd.

'/"At. N»y, 1 would by no Tiirrtu> lay tou onder
any retfmint. Hut. mciliittk*, the cittrrfninmcnt
wf haiT iu«t bocn lakinc; pari of, should havr
put ymi into licttrr «](irit4 : I imi txnl in ;ii) nver*
nu-rry m(M>d invst-lr; vol, I fivftr. I o^uld not
look on the diveruon ot'thin^c hotw«i falks, fiitfa-
ooC fivliitc a certain ciifH de antr.

fat. >Vhv, indn>d, madirai, it had o«ie cir-
cunMtAutx' aiteudiii'^ it, which t» often inantioK
ta tiKtrv r'^'Wtc ainiiic.mtnti ; that of scrminc tn
ifftr wTtrli-v-inblcd sati^facliim to tKo*e whimtrr

«nfA««-d <>i It.

!IV. Oil, infiaitc, inftiiite ! to see tl>e chcarful,
Vol. III.

haakbv-looktDg creshirei* toil wtili soch a ipioil
M>ill ! 'i'o mr, there were more geotiine chnrms aa
their utikwardatuinpinKand jaoi)^itgabout(<bair
rude measures aitd iKime«pun finery, cfaon in all
the drew, aplendour, aod atatbod graces, gf a
lurtlk-iiifcht ball-ruom.

Pur. Tia (I very uncommon declaratioo lo faa
londe hy a fine lady, mndam : but ccrCoialy.liaw*
ever the artful tteUcacies of hit;b life oiajr dank*
iind surprise, iviburf! Jraa fuircsculaj- atlractioat^
i^ven in a cuttn|ie, bar auiai mnikicaad alala^'
wbich aeidfim foil to aBioct ii% tboagb are caa
acarco pvi- H reason for it.

'A«. Jh)t you know, I'jttty, I wai alarnyt m
distracted admirer of the eimotry; no damsel ia
romance was ever fuuder .of rront and purluiic
vtrcnm* ■ \tai\ I liccii horn in tnc dnya of Atca-
dia, ntili tay |irc:>cqt pro])Misity, iiutead of being
n dw liidy, n» you call loe, I ahuuid cerUunljr
have krpt n dock n( slioep.

Hat. Well, lundam, you bare tlsc sagcv poet%
nnd philowpt)cn, of oU ages, so cuuutenaoca
your way of Unnkiop.

The And mu, my little pbiloaoplucal fiaend,
don't yon think me m tlie right, too f

Pat. Yas, aDdeed, madam, perfectly.

AIO.
Tru)(t tne, would you tusle true pleaforc^
\\ itlioat mixture, without nteaeurc.
No where slinll ynu lind the trenauro
Sure lu in ibc syli'sn ^ccne :

nirstt who, no IsUe slarc rti^uirui^
Kftuire's niMl aspocls admiring.
Can, from ntoacr jnya retirinct

8oak tbe aimple and aotcne. [Xtit P«rrT.

Mravtx and Fivnt rotneforuard.
Htr. Yonder ^e is seated ; and, to my w\Jn,
mo4t foriunMcly alone. Accost ber, a* I Am-

rr.1.

The. Uc^h !

Fan- Heni-pn blesti you, my swort laily ! \\\tm
your hoauDr's boositiful viau^e. anii sctiH you a
ffMiA hoklnuid, and a greut many <«f tt>oiu !

7V- K very comrorUible wisit, upoii my mwd \
wIki are yon, diild ?

Fan. A poor Cipsey. an' please ynu, tlitit eocs
(it-iut. beg^n^ from cliaritjdilR t^vulleinen afid
ladifs — I f you hari; crc a ooai or » bit uf trliit-
mi: iu your pocket, I'll write you tlie 6r^t letter
of TOUC sweetUeBrt'% twme ; Ih>w many huitiaiids
roti will huve, mid Imw many children, my la*
rly : or, if vou will let lue lo'jk at yn-,ir liiv >ii life,
I'll tell you whether tt will bt- lung or short, hap-
py or misrralilf.

7V. Oh! ns Ut thnt, I know it ntr(»(Iy

T"4i caiiimt tell me auy Kooil frtriuiic. and tbere-
i'oro. I'll hear nnite. Go abimt your buiioess.

Mr^. ^t«y, iiiailiim, stuy, [iVtrimrf.,!^- to i^ia
pajirrj'nm i/ie arou-id.] you littvc drupt Vimo-

418

BRITISH DRAMA.

[BiCKEBSTAFF.

-Fan, call the young gentleivomaD

thing-
back.

Fan. Lady^ you have lost

The. Pho, phi), I have lo«t nothing.

Mer. Yes, that paper, lady; you dropc it as
you got up from the chair. Fan, give ii i her
honour.

T/ie. A letter with my address ! [Takes the
paper and read*.] ' Dear Theodosia ! Though the
' sight of me was so disagreeable to you, that you
' charged mc never to approach you more, 1 hope

* my hand writing can have nothing tu frighten
' or disgust you. I am nut far off; and the per-

* son, who delivers you this, can give you intelli-

* geoce.' Come hither, child ! do you know any
thiog of the gcitclcman that wrote this f

Fan. My lady

The. Make haste — run this moment— bring
me to him — bring him fi me ! say I wmt with
impatience ; tell nim I will go, fly any where —

Mer, Mv life, my charmer !

The. O, Heavens ! Mr Menin !

Enter Sir Harry and Lady Sycamore.

Xof/jr Syr. Sir Harry, don't walk so fast, we
are not running for a wager.
iSir Har. Hough, hough, hough !

Lady Syc. Hey day, you have got a cough — I
shall have you laid upon my hnndh presently.

Sir Har. No, no, my lady ; it is only the old
afiair.

Lady Syc. Come here, and let me tye this
handkerchief about your neck; you have put
yourself into a muck sweat already. [TVs a hand-
kerchief about hit neck.] Hwe you taken your
Bardanatbis momiog? I warrant you not now,
though you have been complaining of twitches
two or tnree times; and yeu know the gouty sen-
son is coming nn.-— Why will you be s^>
neglectful of your health, sir Harry? t protest 1
am forced to watch you like an infant.

Sir Har. Mv lovely takes care of me, and I
am obliged to her.

Lady Syc. Well, but you ought to mind mr,
then, since you are satisfied I never speak Imt
for your good. I thought. Miss Sycamore, you
were to have followed your papa and me into
the garden. How far did you go wiUi that
wench ?

The. They are gipsies, madam, they any. In-
deed, I don't know what they are.

Lad^ Syc. I wish, miss, you would learn to
^ve a rational answer

Sir Har. F,h ! what's that? gipsies! Have
vre gipHes here? Vagrants, that pretend to a
knowledge of future cveuts; diviners, fortune-tel-
lers?

Fan. Ye«, your worship, we'll tell your for-
tune, or her ladyship's, for a crum of bread, or a
little broken victuals : what you throw to your
dogs, an' please you.

Sir Har. Broken victuals, hos^ \ How do
you think we should liave broken victuals? If
we were at home, indeed, perhaps you might get
some such thing from the f»ok : but here we aie
only oil a visit to a friend's house, aod hare iH^
thing to do witli the kitchen at all.

Lady Syc. And do you think, ur Hany, it it
nccesiiiiry to give the creatare an acc»unt?

Sir Har. No, love, no ! but what canyoa laj
to obstinate people ? Get you gone, bold bee !
I once knew a merchants wife in the city, my
ludy, who hnd her fortune told by 9ame of those
gipsies. They said she should die at such a
tunc; and I warrant, as sure as tbe day came,
the poor geutlewoman actually died with die
conceit. Come, Dossy, your mamipa and I are
going to take a walk. My lady, will yoa ha?e
hold of my arm?

Lady SifC. No, sir Harry, I choose to go 1^
myselft

Afer. Now, love, assist me ! [Turning to the
gipsies.] Follow, iind take all your cues;ftaai

roe Nay, but good lady and geDtlemao, ^

won't go without remembering tlie pow ppsies!
iSiV Har. Hey ! here is all Uie gang after bl
Oip. Pray, your noble honour !
Lady Syc. Come back into (he gardeo ; «e
shall be covered with vermin.

Gip. Out of the bowels of your commisseit*
tion !

Laify Syc. They press on us more and oiorc:
yet that girl has no mind to leave them: liJnll
swoon away !

Sir Har. Don't be frightened, my lady; let
roe advance.

AIR.

You vile pack uf vagabonds ! wb^ do tm
mean?

I'll mnul you, ra^callions,

Ye tatter-dcmallions — -—
If one of you come within reach of my cuir>

Such cursed assurance,

Tis past all endurance.
Nay, nay, pray come away.

They're liars and thieves.

And he that believes
Their foolish predictions.
Will Iind them but fictions,

A bubble, that always dec^ves.

Fun. Oh, men^, dear ! The gentleman is M
l>o1d, 'ti^ well if he does not bring us into tma-
ble. Who knows but this may be a justice ef
pence ! and sec, he's following tfaem into tk
pirden !

ist Gip. Welt, 'tis all your se^ii^ Fan.

J-V/R. We shall have warrants to take n ^
I'll be hanged else ! We had better run s"^>

BrCKERSTAFP.]

BRmsH drama;

4ja

Khc Mrvmnts will cntne out with sticks to licic
lu.

A/iT. Cuned ill-fonun« ! [//ere Mekvix rr-
fitrni Kith gkpnti\ ShcN pnnc, and, pcrh!ip\ I
slutll mil linvr nDnfttrr rippurtuiiity — And y*>-i, re
bliindcrin}£ blodthciitl ! I mun't ^ivc vou a ti'tlt'-
pcnnv — Why did you not rlnp to ilic 'pjinfeii
door, wheii I calletl in yuu, liclnre tlir vouii^ tn-
dy coc in } llic key was on the aut*idc, which
would hav« given me «i)me titoc iat nn exptuna-
trun.

?rf G^. An* plcii»n your hononr, I w«* dubus.

Jdtr. Diih'M ! pl»!;uc choak va ! ll(Mvev«r, it
if Mime aittufiirtiuii dint 1 have Ix-cn nhlr to li-t
b«T see mc, imd l^now where I nm, \TurmtB to
IA« giptitt, teha gu tjlT. ] < j", grt yoa g«>np> dl of
you, unout v<>ur buiFinf;3is !

Tbc- DisnpjM'arei), lied ! [Thcodo^ia appeati
im tkr mvitliiiH.] <.)h, ho»v unliickr this is I — ^ —
Could rtc oot have p:ilicncc to wuit a mutncnt?

Afrr. I kiiuw not wlinl t<i resolve ott.

7V. lltm!

Mcr. I'll eo Imrk [o (be gardeu-door.

yUc Mr Mervia 1

-Wrr. Whai Ho I 4V«r ! Tiii sKn, "li^ ^Iw hfr-

f! (>h, TtMHJdMiu! ShidI Z rlhnh the unll, Hud
! up CO you >
-No; speak wifilv: sir Harrv nixl rav ia-
^JBt brttm at till- end uf th« tvidk — Mow mtich

I [ oNi^d i<>y'»ii Tor tnking this tmidjle !

J/rr. When tScir hnppintw is ot slake, wini
is II lucu will iiiti Htlc-iiitit.' ii»y but you liivc
me!

The. What pntor wnulH you hare mc prv
TOO f I kn'm-tifbiit one: if you plenso I am wil-
liitc to pi o'X ividi yuu.

Mrr. An yuu* Would lo.ttcnven I hatl
bruitglil B rmrriiicc !

'fSe. lliiw did T4U oome^ Have vou not hor-

Met. Xn; thwc is nnotlt«r inisfortuHC. Tm
BToid susptcioit, dii-rc l:>cint; but niK* little ptiblu*-
boiisr in the villnpp, I dispatched my »ervHrii
witJi ihftii, abuut an hour apy, to wait tor mc at
m town twelve miles distnnt, v%hilhcf I prrtcmlcil
to Ko ; hut, aliiilitin^ a tnilr off, t (.tfiiipt tnvpcil',
Wtd tfanie Ittuk as ,fou scf!; iit'iiltcr cun wc,
nearer ibnii ttii» town, uct n post-diai*',

'i%c. Y->ii say you have mndr a coiiiVJant of
the nillcr's ion : — rctun* lu your nlorc of rcn-
(lezvutis: — my father Ims been awed this tno-
ment, by Iwd Ainiworth, who i» in tlic giinlt-n, t<»
tJikna walk withbiui down to the loill : they nili
CO l>rl'irre diaucr : and it shall \k hard if I cooiiot
ctMitnvt.' tit be uno of tW company.

Mrr. And what dtAn?

i.'if. Whv. in the incau time, ynu mav deTisc
utitte mtfihud to cnrry mo fram hence- nod I'll
t-tlr o«fe you ^hall hive an opportunily ol' cou-
mamcatuti; it to me.

Aier. Welt, bat dear TlieodoHa

AIR.

The. Hilt, hi»i I I hwir my tnothcr cnli^-^
Prithre be gone;
We'll meet anon :
<!atch thi% and this-^—
Illow mc a kiss
In picdce of promised trudi, that's ulL

Kni-cwclJ ! and yet a moitieni ttaji ;

Suntethins beside I hod to say r

We'll, 'li^ f'.reot :

No matier wliat

J^ore cmiit us frrace !
1 he niili% the plnce :
She ctt\h ngotn, I mu»t away.

Enter Fassv.

[Erit.

Fan. Please your honour, ymi wrre no kind
114 ro bay yuu would reinembrr my icllon'-tnivcl-
lf>r<4 lor difir trouble : uikI thvy Uiink I luircgQt-
ten the munev.

Mrr. Oh, (itre; pre tbcin this— [Gi'tti ker
iMurt;.] And for v<ni, my dear Utile pilor, you
hnce hroupht nK*SAeicTcrlyihr«ui;bmy iHiwtosa,
iiiat I raiist-

Fan. 41h, |>ird ! — yniirhnnour — [Mrrvix Jcit-
Kft Aer.] Pray doi»'t— ^^ — Lt»>> mo njnin.

Mrr. Aciiiii. niid asmn. There's o thouRbt

<omc* into inv httni. — ITieodcwin will certainty
bate no .>b)eciio» [•> |»itiiii^ on llie dre>» of «
•*l^((■r of mine.— Sfj. nnd t>'t <»h1v, '^e may ewapa
i»»-iticlit. — This tiri, fur n little wooejt will pro-
\i()o us with niTMsarics

Fan. Dt^ir m-nciuii-h! I warrant you, now, I
»im as rrti as my petticoat ; why would yoo roy-
jTVi and toitilr oiie m) ? — If Unlph was to sec yon,
he'd be as jealoui m the veuui-uiin*.

Atfr. Iliiiii> Kniph ! N'eTer mind him.— Time's
a L'liiiicn for ihee.

Fau. W hm, a )n>hlnu Koinea'— ^

ilfer. Yea; and if thou art a eood f>irl, and do
as I doirc ttice, tti<.>u tihuK hiivc twenty.

Fun. Ay, bui nnt all uftUt.

Mer. As go-id \^ iliac i^.

fun. Slmll I thuu};li, if I docs as you btds
nief

^hr. Yft«i shall.

Fan. f'ri'Cious heart ! He's « sweet (gentle-
m-ui ! — IokI I have a grcul nnud

Mrr. Whni art th>>u lhiiikiti)> about i

Fan. Tlunlsinif, your honiftir? — lla, ba, ha!

Mrr. InHt-ed, *j merry !

Fan. I don't know Trtuit 1 am thinking abtnil,
not I — lift, lia. ha ! — Tneniv miineas !

Mrr. I tell ihee thou slinit h^ire ibem.

Fan. Mil. hn, hM, hn. Itft !

\Ur. H? lU'Hvci), I a>n ftvrious!

Fan. 11a, lui, bn !— W hy hen ill do what-
ever V"ur hniiuur pleases.

Mrr. ijwy here a little, to sec thttt nil ktcpi ;

490

BUiriSll DRAMA.

[BiCSEBftlAJF.

qiiiet : yoall find oie presently «c the mill,
where we talk farilmr.

AIB.

Yes, *tU decreed, tlioa mud dn-inc !

I must, I wiU poMrCss ibee ;
Oh, what dcli|;ht widiiti ray Arras to press ihco !

To kiss, nail call titcc mine !
3Lct tnc this uuly tilibs cni'ijr;
Tbat ne'er can vtatite, ttmt iic'cr cap cloy :

All other pleasures i rtaigp.

Why should we Hally^

Stand shilli ftlinlly?
Let fortuov smile or fmum !

Jjnve will attend us;

liire will Iwfriend m;
Aad all our wi&ttcK crown. [ E-rii.

Euter Ralph.

Fan. What n dear kind mimI he i« ! — Here
comes Ralph — I can lell him, unless he lunkcs
loe his lawful wifo, as he has often <aid Itc
would, the df:vil a woril more >tuil[ lie spciik to
me.

JHufitA. So, Fan, where's ihe gendrman ?

Fun. Iluw bhould I know wIh,tu he is? what
do vuu ii«k me for?

Hatith. There's no hnmi in puttii^ a civil

ailMtiuii, he there t Why you look as croM and
!• nam red

Firm. Well, ma^hnp I do — and tnayhap 1 have
whurtf-withal for it.

Rn/fih. Wliy, has the geullciuan offered wiy
thing uncivil ? £cod, I'd try o bout ua so<>n a»
look at him.

FtPt. He oficr!— no— he'»apemlr-ninn every
inch of him; but ynu are sensible, Ralph, yuu
hiive been pmmi^in^ me, a great whi!*". ilii»,
and tlmt, nnd t'other ; and, whrii all corner
to all, 1 don't tee but you are like ihe rest 'jf
them.

Ralph. Whv, what is it I linve pmnii^ecl ?

Fan, To marry me in the charch, you have, a
hundred ilntes.

Jltiifih. Well, and mayhnp I will, if you'll liavc
paticuce.

Fan. Patience me no patieaoe ! you may do
it now, if you plca»e.

Rttlfih. Well, hut snppose I don't please ? I
tcU you, Fan, you're a foul, and nnnt to quarrel
with your bread and buuer; I ha*c hnd ani;<:r
enow fruai feytlicr already upon your nccouiit,
and you want Die to come by more. As I said,
if you hm-e pntteoce, mayhap tilings may fall out,
and niayh;i[i not.

Fan. With all my heart, then : nnd now I
know your roind, yon may go hang yourself.

Ral^ Ay, ay !

ftn. Yes, you nuiy— who cores for you ?

littiph. Wellf and wbo cares for you^ an
go til tbat ?

Fuu. A mental fpllcr — Go mind yonrmtHi
Y»ur drudciery ; I don't think yo« wonfay to wife
my iliin'^. — feller. 4

Haiph. Nay. but Fan, keep « civil tooKuc ia
your liead : odd« (leeh ! I wcMiUi fniu know wbai
lly bitei nil of a tuddeii iiom !

Fnn. Marry come up, the li««c geadeiwW
sons in the country bavo made me prodcfs; ao4
if tint: is u miss, be a mis9 to a s^ntlcmiui, I ai^,
that will ([ire one fine clotliC'S and take one to
see the slam, and put omtH-y in one's pocket

Raiph, Wbu. »hu — [She hitt Aim a tim]
What^ that for ?

Fan. Wliat d<i you wibistle for, thcD t Do yo«
thiuk I nm a du^?

Ralph. Never trust rac, Fan, if I have not ■
mind to give you, wiih this 9witcb ia my haad
bert:, n»i |[uud n lHL'iii£

Fail. Touch uie, if you dare ! tooch mt, and
ni swear ray bfc ai^inst you,

Huiph. A marraiu ! with ber damned Utdi
tut ns biird as she could draM !

Fan. Wfll, tt*» ffn>i\ enuti^h for yoa;
iit.t-L-»sitiit«l to lake up ivtib tlie imfui
such u luw-hvcd umilkey u you are. — A
man's my fneod, and 1 can huve cwraty
in luy band, all as i;oimI n^ iltm is.

Uatpk. Belike troni this LjHidiUicr, ehl

Fan. TeSi, from him— «r> yuu may take

fiKHiuM of marriage : I don't value U thai—
>/»/!.] bjid if vou speuk to lue, 111 sbp yoar
chops attain.

AIK.

I.ord, sir ! you seem initbty tmcMji

But 1 tl>e rrfiiMl cnn hmr :
I warrant I ^tiiill not niii crajy.

Nor die in a tit uf di-»pttir.
If so y<>u snppoM., ynu'rc nii»tnkea ;

For, sir, tor to U-i yitu to kimw,
I'm not such a maiden lortukrn,

Itut X have two strings lu ray bow. [EtiL

Ralph. Tndreil ! Now I'll to .jod^ed bt ari
soul Liviiifi^jn tlic wrjrld. if r«er there wesanlw
|»ir^o of treachery thiin ihi« \\ctv \ tlwrc i> ai
Mich tliins OS n true tVicrid upon ibc iWp tA (^
(tlubc, and no 1 liave •taul a liundrcd t<

couple <»f bnse, dtceilful- ntitr ail i

ami kmdoew shewn ! Well, I'll be u-tv

M;e nil I bv'iit Mailer Mar^mt, thni

ntiinc, an ht- do not shoni it — he ha<t

nud disguised un»clf; MticrcuC 'its cDinn

law So tod": hrwdc*. I Hu ]-'.'•'- '

did it; and I'll lid i cut the tnrsa-s

iind yo up lu the ensile and ti -. . . ilijUe i

slinii't (-arry n ueiich iVom me, w<.re be imao

times the VMM lie is tuid mciuy tunes la d^*

Bgaiu ; oud moromer tbtui su^ U>e iint b»e J

w

ICKKRSTArr.]

JRltlsfif^RAlilA;

meet un, I'll luir>ck no dowD, thoT 'twas before
my loril Ivmuuir; oitd b« tiiajr chjmm iuo (tx il
al'lentardt, tui b« wuU.

AIO.

As tbcy couut me iucb a iiiiuiy,
So to let ihcfB rule the ronst,

rU liet aiiy uiie u ^uiiicii
'I'liey have scurird Miihoui Uicir liost.

But if I don't shew them, in Ucu ol' it,

A Iriclc llutl's fairly wurtli twu of it,
llicn let lUK pasA for a fool aud an a»«>.

To be sure yon »ly cajoler

'I'bouf(lit UM! work as good as done,

When be found the bttle stroller
Ww BO tony to be won.

Bat if 1 don't sltew him in beu of it,

A trick llmt'^t fuirly wortlt two of it,
Tbea let mo pau for a fuol or an au. [lUit.

SCESr. III.— CAanget to -a room in tkf mill;
tmo ekairt^ with a tabic and a tauiwit <!/*
Utr.

Enter FitRncLD and GiLr.A.

Fair. In dkort. farmer, I don't know what to
siiy to litre. I have spoken lA lit-r all I can ;
hat I thiuk children were born lo ptdl the
grey liaira of their paroiibt to tlie grave witJi sor-
row.

Otie». Nay, Ms»h)r Fairfield, don't take on
■b(Hit It ! bt-Kkc Muts I'at luu niiotlier lave : luid,
•f to* i" Ucavcn'i nninc be't: what's one man'ti
■MU, as tJie »aj'iii£ is i» another man'^ poiMu;
•mI tlio'f sonie iniRlit tind me well cnnuKh to
ibatr fancy,! yet tn i»m: I duii't luiL licr's, nhy
cbereS no liarm dune.

ymr. Writ but, iR'i|ihbuur, [ linve put that to
Iter; and iIk- »torv is, she tins do inclinatioit (»
■narry anv one; all she desires U, to stay nt
Ikjoic, and tnke cam of nie.

Cit/et. Muter Fairfield — here's towards your
food ImUli!

Fair. IKaiik ihee, frirnd CtiUn and Iiere*

CowArds thiiiu !— — 1 pranii>ic ttico. Imd tJiiiip^
as we prr>pntedr thon shuuld'st have had
baif of what i was wurlh, to the uttcnuost
ihitif:.

G»/*-i- Why to be sure, Master Fairftcld, 1 hui

out t>M: IcM obli^tcd to vour giKxt-ivill ; but, aa

to tint matter, hud [ uiiim<?d, it slmuld nut hare

ui fur the luae of tuiit; hut i.'' I t\a like a i^irl,

jtn see, I do tike rier ; ny, nnd I'd take her,

MBVUig respect, ii* she bad not a second petit-

MkL

>Wr-. Welt aaid— where lore is with a little

lisdustry, what have a yoiinf c>iuple lu lie nfraid

l«Cf And, hr Uie Lnrd Harry, fur nil that's pnit,

ul Mp tbiqking we slinll bring our luut-

lers lo bear yel— Toang women, 700 know, friend
Giles

Gitri. Why, that's what I have been thiiJuiig
with inywif. Master FairBeld.

Fair, C'oow, tlwn, uumd tliy drau^it — Dctico

take ine tf 1 let it drop so But, in any caac^

don't you kd to make yourseJf ntteasv.

Oik$. IW-nsY, Master Fairfield LwhaC KOod
would that do 7 — Ftir »«rtiu, seeing now tilings
were, I should have been very glad iliey Iwd
gone ncco(din((ly : but if they cliauge, '(is ik> fault
of mine you know.

AIR.

Zooks ! why should I sit down and griev« f

No case so hard, there mayn't be had
SoiDo luedicttM to rtliave.

Here's what masters all disasters;

With n cup of nut-brown beer,

'Ibus Ml)- drooping thoughts I ctieer:
If one pretty damsel fail oie,

Froin anoihur I may find

lU'timi more kind;
What a murraiu then should ail me .'

All girls are not of a tnifid.

Ik's a <-lii)d that whimpers for a toy;
Su here's to tliee, huoest boy !

Emiir LoftD Aihwobtu.

[£nf.

Fair. O ttic goodness, his lord^ip's honour !
You are come into a litlrrcd place, my noble mr

— the nrm-chntr will it pleoac jour honour

to rtpf*** \"u on this, till a better

J-orJ Aim, Tluuik you, niillt;r ; tlicre's oo oc-
cosinti fur eitlier. I only want to speak a few
words lf> you, and have ctmipany waiting for me
without.

Fair. Without ! — won't dteir honours favour my
poor hovel so far

Lord Aim. No, mUler, let them Slav where
they are. — I find you arc iibout m&rrytng your
daui^htcr — I know the great n>gard my mother
had for her; aad am salisBcd, lltat nolhing but
her sudden denth could have presented her Ica-
\me. Iht a haudsonK' proviuon.

Fatr- Dear niv lord, your n<>ble motficr, yon,
and tdl your family, have heiiped favours on fe- '
vours on my pour child.

Ijird Aim. Wlk'itever lias bccn done for her,
she ha* fully merited.

fair. \\'liy, to bo sore, my lord, «hc is ■ verjr
good ^irl.

IjtrdAim. Poor old mnii! — but lho«e are tears
of satisfaction. Here, MuHirr KatrlieUI, to bring
muttrrs to n dturt tiiiirlu«iou, Itere is a bill nf n
iltouund pouDdt^ PorUoii your daughter witti
wlatyou tliick cuovciiienC of it.

4t<

BRITISH DRAMA.

[BlCKBVSTAfF.

Fair. A tbousand pounds nij lord ! Pray, ex-
cuse me ! excuse me, worth; sir ; too much has
been done already, and we have no preten-
sions

Jjord Aim. I insist upon joor a^og it. Put
it up, and sar no more.

Fair. Welly nij lord, if it mast be so — but in-
deed, indeed —

Lm-d Aim. In this I onlj fulfil what, I am sa-
tisGed, would please my mother. As to myself,
I shall take upon me all the expences of Patty's
wedding, and have already given orders about it.

Fair. AIsa, rur, you are too good, too gene-
rous ; but I fear we shall not be able to profit of
your kind intentions, unless you will condescend
to speak a little to Patty.

Juord Aim. How speak !

Fair. Why, my lord, I thought we had pretty
well ordered all things concerning this marriao:e ;
but, all on a sudden, the girl has taken it into her
bead not to have the farmer, and declares, she
will never marty at nil. But I know, my lord,
she'll pay creat respect to any thing you say :
and if you'll but lay your commands on her to
marry him, I'm sure she'll do it.

Lord Aim. Who, I lay my commands on her I

Fair. Yes, pray, my lord, do ; I'll send her in
to you.

Lord Aim. Master Fairfield ! [Fairfield^oti
out, end return$i\ — What can be the meaniiii; of
this? — licfuse to marry the farmer ! How, why?
My heart is thrown in an agitation ; while every
step I take, server but to lead me into new per-
plexities.

Fair. She's coming, my lord ; I said you were
here ; and I hnmbty beg you will tell her, you in-
sist upon the match going forward ; tell her, vou
insist upon it, my lord, and speak a little an^rilv
to her. [Exit.

Enter Patty,

Lord Aim. I came hither, Patty, in conse-
quence of oiir conversation this morning, to ren-
der your change of state as aj;reeable and liappy
as I could : but your father tells mo, you hnvc
fallen out with ibe farmer : has any thing hap-
pened, since I saw you last, to alter your good
opinion of him }

Pat. No, my lord, I am in the same opinion
with regard to the fanner now, as I always was.

Lord Aim. I thought, Patty, you loved him.
You told me

Pat, My lord !

Lord Aim. Well, no matter — It seems I have
been mistaken in Uint particular — Possibly your
aflfections are engaged elsewhere : let me bnt
know the man that can make you happy, and I
flwear •

Pat. , Indeed, my lord, you take too much
trouble upon my account.

fjord Aim. Perhaps, Patty, yoii love somebody

so mudi beneath yon, joa are aAined to owa
it ; but your esteem confers a ralae wberesower
it is placed. I was too hanh whfa yoa thb mont-
ing : our inclinations are not in oar own power;
they master the wisest of ns.

Pat. Pray, pray, my lord, tidk not to ne b
this »^Ie : consider me as ooe desdnedl, br budi
and fortune, to the meanest conditioD nd ofioes;
who has unhappily been apt to imbibe aenliuwts
contrary to them I Let me conquer s heart, wbeie
pride and vanity have usurped an immper f^;
and learn to know myself, of whom I imn beea
too long ignorant.

Lord Aim. Perhaps, Patty, too hut* one so
much above you, you are afraid to own it — If to,
be bis rank whrtt it will, he is to be envied : for
the love of a woman of virtue, beauty, and senli-
ineiit, does honour to a monarch. What neans
that downcast look, those tears, those Wttshes?
Dare you not confide in me ? I)o yoo thinfc,
Patty, you have a friend in the world wovM »ym-
pathirc with you more sincerely than I ?

Pat. What simll I answer? — No, my lord, na
have ever treated roe with a kindness, a tfvc-
rosity, of wliiili none but miiid^ li<^e yoon ire
capable : you have been my instructor, my lit
riser, my protector: but, my lord, you have been
too gtMid. When our superiors forget the cbrtaiM
beh%<'en ns, ne are sometimes led to fof^ it
too : had yon been less condescending p^fapi
I hnd hcei huppicr.

Lt>rd Aim. And have I, Patty, hare I mak
ynu unhappy? I, who would sacrifice ayoifi
felicity, to secure your's ?

Pot. I beg, my lord, you will sutler ne U k
gone : only believe me sensible of all yoar ft-
vours, ihoiiwh unworthy of the smallest.

Lord Aim, How unworthy ! — You merit wm
thing : my respect, my esteem, my fiieoddii^
and my love! Yes I repeat, 1 avow it: your
beauty, your mode^^ty, your understanding faa*(
made a conauest of my heart. But what a wodd
do we live ni ! that, while I <»wn this; while!
own a passiiin for yoo, founded on the jastnt)
the noblest hasis I muiit at the same time cnr
fesit, the fear of that world, its taunts, its re-
proaches—

Pat. Ah, sir, think better of the creature .m
linve raised, than to suppose I ever enttttHM
a hope tendini; to your dishonoar ! wooM tfait
be a return fur the favours I ha^T reoniW-
Wouid that ho a |;mtcful reverence for the
mory of her — Pity and pardon the disturhaocr <f
a mind, that fears to inquire too minutelr intn ^
own sensations. I am unfortnnate, my lonl, bit
not criminal.

Lord Aim. Patty, wc are both imfortnaaV-
for my own part, I know not what to say to JM
or what to propose to myself.

Pat. Then, my lord.- 'tis mine to act as loat^'
yet, while I am honoured with a place in T^r
esteem, imagine me uot insensible of aolwc^'

BRITISH DRAM-i.

4ftS

diftiinciion ; or capable of ligliUy turning mjr
thoti'ht towaidH nDother,

l.ord Aim. ll(m cruel is my RJtumion !— I am
here, futy. to comntaiid too to inurry tlie inut,
who bas icivrn you so much nr^eauoett.

Pmt. My lord, I um cuiivinrcfl it is for your
credit, aua ray itafoty, it »huuld be mi : 1 tiope 1
have not sp Ut imttilrd by tin- lessons nf voui
noble motber, but I nboJI be able to do my doty.
Mrhcnever X tun called to it ; this will l« ray lirst
iupport; utoe and rcBeciion will complute the

^Enttr $!■ IlAiiiir Stcamorc, Tucoo(»tA,
and Girr.t,

AIR

Ccjue, oh cease. In nvrrwhelin me^

With eicate of houittv rare ;
' WhM am I i What hiivc 1 f Ttll me.

To deaerve your mentieu cnre *
'G«iiiic our fate hi vatn's rcstttaiicc,

Let nie then uo i;riet*di>M Iom;;
But reaipied, nl hutobtti iljsiau<,-c,

Ofler TOWS fur your rcpoMr.

[£xi/.

Sir Bar, \o juitjcc of peace, uo bniltOis no
bewJ bor«niclt !

J^i Aufi. What'h tlie luattcr, »ir tUrry ?

Str Ihr. riie auiltcr, loy lord ! — Wlule I was

ing the const ructiou of the milt without,

'e M>mc small nulioii of inFcbantrs, Mis^

bad like [u ha»0 been ruu away with

lijr a g'pv; wma.

Tfir. TK*w papa, how can yon taP* *o? tlid
not I tell yuti it i«iis at nty own dcatrc tlic poor
lellow went to ^bcw itic tbc ctinolr

Sir Htir. Mold your tongue, mw' I don't
know anv Itu^iacM ynu hbd to let bim cinne noar
you fit nil : we liavc staid vi long, too; your cna-
nta cave m but luilt'aa bnur, and Uic'll be friclit-
Mked out of her wits— fthe'll tbiuk some acduent
luu hdpfirneil to idc.

IjnrJ /Ji"«. I'll wail upon you when you please.

Mtr Unr, I.) ! btii, my lord, b<Tt'» u |>«K»r fcl-
Idw ; It scc'ns hti. mistrcM bus conceived «iii>c
ttiitfuM u.nimt bun - prjy ba<i her t'luber spoke
tD «ml !•• itih'rjv:<>e yur niiltinnly in bis Itclmlf ?

iititt. If hi'. liniisliip*« honour would be mi
iod, I would acikDowlcdgc Uie farour lis far as

mr Uy.

Sir Hor. Let IDC tpeftk— {ToJly* Ij>i(Ii Aim-

"^IMK atuk.] — a word or two iu your lurdibip'a

'1#. Wail, I do like lliia gifiuy scbcroe pro-

digiously, if we can but put it into evecutton as
Ikiippily oa we have contiircd it!^

Enter Tattv.

S«>, my dear Patty, you trc I om come to re-
turn your visit rery »oun; but tbts is only a call
en pas»a»t — will yuu be nt homo nftcr dinner^

rut. Ortniuly, niitdnm, whenever you conde-
scend to honour me lo far: but it t% what I c«n-
uot rxpi-ct

The, O lye! why not'

Gila. Yuur acnant, Mum l^itty !

1*01. Fanner, yuur scnuitL

Sir liar. Here, you goodmaii detver, I hare
done your busuic»& ; my loni Iihh spike, and your
fortune's mailc : a lliouMud pouQtl*> ot prvunt,
and better things to coine; his lordsliip mys he
will be yiinr friend.

Oitet. I do hope, then, Miss Pat will make all

"P-

Sir Har. Mi6» Put, make up! Bland out of

the way, nt make it up.

Tlie quarrels of Iover% adds me !
tjicy'rc ujc»t;

Come bitber, ye blockhead, come hi-
llicr !

Sn now, let us leare tbcm tngclbcr.
Lord Aim. I'arrwell. ihcn !
Vat. For e\er !

GUc$. 1 vow and protest,

Twus kind of lus honour.

To gaiii thus upon her;

We'rt' VI mucli beboldeti, it can't be
cupre-t.
The, I feel sonictbing here,

Twiki hopiiiji; imd fear i

Haste, liastt, Irteudly night.

To sliellcr our tli::lit

Idtrd Aim. \ A tbouMnKl duiractioos are rmd-
Pat. \ ifii, my brcosL

jPfl/. O mercy !

GtUi. Ob dear !

Sir liar. Why. miss, will you mind when you'r*
spoke t(j. or not?

Mitht I tlHitd in waiting.

While you're here a*pratin( ?
S^rd Aim. I y^^^ p^p^ ^^,j^j^ ,.^„ ,^^ ^^^^ i^j

Oittt. Site rurtiiffi! — \jvAi there,

Whiit n 5hftpc, uhnt an air f —
AU, How liappy, how wretdied ! Iiow

I u^d um 1 !
Your lont^liip's obedient; ytwr tof^
vaut; eiK»d bye !

[tteunt.

4fi4

BRITISH DRAMA.

[BlCKKKSTArr.

ACT m.

SCENE 1^71^ portSfO to Lobd Aimwortu's
Aowc

Smier Lokd Aimwobtk, Sts Uauiy, and

IjiDt STCAMOftC.

liMdtf Sf/e. A wiT-TCR ! B vile iacoiuid^ntt
wrctdi ! comin]; of ftucli a race us ratiic, aod lin-
vinr bn example ItLe me before ber !

Zortj jlun. I beg, ipwiwai, von will not dis-
quiet yotinelf : 50U are ta\d here, tbat a ijendo-
nun ImcIj arrirod from London ^in« been about
die place to-daj ; that he hn^ iDst^aiscri htmwff
like R R^p«;y, cairic hit)tcr. and h»d some cmwtrr-
sunon with V'.Hir daughter: you arc even tutd.
ttiaC tltere is a ikaiEii funned fur tlK'ir i^'iiiK '^
toenbir; but' pomly tbere may be some mis-
tue in all this.

Sir Har. Ay, but my lord, llie Ud lolls us the
gcntleinnirfi name ; wc have seen the gyfniv» ;
and we know ftbc lias had n hankering

LiKfy St(c. Sir Harry, my dear, why will you
pnt in ynur word, when you licar uthen spL-ak*
iiii; * — I protcit, my lord, I'm in sucli coufusion,
I know not what to tay, 1 caii hardly support
mywlf.

lAtrd Aim. This gentleman, it »ecra», it at a
little inn at llic bottom of the hill.

^r Har. I y>\i\\ it vms pmttblc to hitve a 61c
of inu'uiut-tt.'eni, my lord ; I cuuld bead tliucn my-
Klf, bcmg in itie iiiiiitia: and wc nould go and
scire him direfxly,

J^rd Aim. Sdfilv, my dear »ir; let us proceed
with a litde Icm violence in thi» matter, I be-
seech you. We should lir>t m« the younjj^ laily —
Where is Miu Svcamnre, madnm ?

LoWy 5yr. lUally, my lord, I don't know; I
9Mr her go into the garden nboot a qiiartev of an
hour ngo, from our chamber winduw.

Sir H»r. Into tlie ffnrdun ! perlmps ^c ba^ cot
an inkling of our being infonned of thiit arFnir,
and T» gone to throw herwif into the pond. I)f^
walr, my lord, makes t>irU do ternhlt: things.
T'lras but titc VVcdnesdiy bclbre we left Ijoii-
don, iliat I 9aw, taken nut nt* HoMimriiid's poiid,
in .St Jamcsh I'nrk, a& hkcly a yuunt: womnn ba
ever you wsmld desire to stt your even on. in a
new t-nlliiniincu petticvat, and a pair of silver
bucklefe in lier tihoea.

Lord Aim. I linpe there is no danger of any
such fntid ai-cident lisippening at present; but
will yoii nblice mc, sir Harry?

Sir liar. Surely, my lord

Lord Aim. Will you commit the whole direc-
tion of thii nfTHir to ray pnidrnci* ?

Sir liar. My dear, juu bear what h"ia lordship
■ay«.

Lady &rc, Indeed, my lord, I nm so much
ashamed, I don't know what to answer ; the fault
of my daughter ■

Lord Aim. Don't mention it, madam ; the
fault haft been mine, who have been tnbooemiy
the orrasion of a yoaaft Hdkf* miHffciiii^ *a
point of duty and decorum ; widcb, >^^ler■la^
she never wnald haw Tiolated. But H* you sad
Nr Harrv will walk ia and repoaa yi*«ri«lrc«, I
hope to settle e^ery thing to tbe gcveral 1
lion.

Ltdtf Sjfc. Come in, si r Harry.

Lurd Aim. I mil «iire, my Kood friciid,
known that I was doiog a nolcncc to Miss
more's inclinations, in die happiocss ] prapoaBl
10 my^'lf

.Sir Har. My lord, 'tis all a caM — My
father, by the inrnhrr's wde, was a *«fy
man — he wns fleeted knigitt df tbe alufe
successive parliaments; and died it^h
his county — a man of 4ne paro, fine talenCs, tai
one of it)c most eariaas dooMi of bones ia lU
Knthiad (hut that he d>d mily now and then for

his umuseinent) And he used to say, my lord,

' thnt ihc female sei were Bood foir notbuifi, fauito
brine furth children, attd breed dWtorbance.

Lord Aim. The ladies w«re vcr>- tiule nbiigrd
to ymir anrz-stor, air Harry : btil foe my pnn» I
have a mr>fc ra\uumble opihiou

Sir H,ir. You are in the wron^, my lord : wA
MibmissioD^ yon are really in the wrong.

To ipenk my mind uf wmnaa Irini^

[n uoe word, 'tis (his ;
By nature theyVe designM,

To say and do amias.

Be they maids, be they wives,

Alikf! tlirr pln^uc our Hwa:
Wnnton, Iicudstnini;, t-unning, vaia:
Born to dtcat, and give men paUL

Their stwly <biy »nd awht,
Is mischief their deHf^nC:
And if wc shonld preveot.
At one door, riieir int/nt.
They qnirkly turn about.
And find nntithtr nut.

[£miRr Sir Hsk. Da^Lavr^ic

JEa/^F4tKFicLe.

Ijfrd Attn, IIow now. Master Fnir^ctd, '
bnnes ynu here ?

Fair. I mil como, my lord, to thank ywi
vour bounty to mc nud my dau^titer tfan
ing, and inoM humhiv to intxcnt yov f — *'
receive it at our hnmiv ntniiii.

Lard Aim. Ay ! — why, what's the matlfr'

Fcjir. I don't know, inv lord; it imim 1^

BtCKEESTAFr.]

BRITISH DllAM

4SA

I

geiicm<«tjF to my prwi- ffirl btu been tKiiwdnbuttt
Uie neiGjibiiuHioo<l;iUMl Mimpevil-mitiilcH [wople
h«Tc put it into the jroun^ (iniit'5 Kcnd. tli:tL n-B«
t» rnarry her, tlut you wmM never hnve rrnnle
bera prucut so much ftbovc her clMerts iiu<l c\-
pcctiuons if it hud mil l>i>cn upon v>inc iwu^htv
account; oow, iny hird, I iim a |Mior tun 11, 'tin
Cnic. mid n mean one ; tj<it I mid inv fiillicr, mid
my («lhcr*9 IntlKr, bnvc lived trmuin iip'jn yimr
lonl^bip'f euatc, nlwre we Utivu iilw&yi« JMrrii
ItBrHTo fbr hnnoM mm; nnd it shiitl uevcr lie
said, tlint rnirticU). the miller, bocarne rich in
hi* old d»T^ by the wof^rt nt' liii diihl'x shiimi;.

Lorrf Aim. What then, Maater Knirlield. do you
bdieie

JUr. No, my Uird? no, ilravcn torhirl ! hut
whan [ ooMiilor tiic «uni, it i« too mtich T'lr n»:
ic 19 tiKtccd* Tity lord, nitd cn>iui>h to inakc IkkI
folki toik : brwdn. my pixip girl is grcnitly *!-
■Mad ; wke ntad ti> bn the lite ol' c-vory fl:Kc «)h'
flame into; but, aiiicc Iwr )x.•ill^ at hume, I have
•am nothing from Imt buc ^adnes9 nud wiiicry

Z«n/ Aim, the IhrnieT, then, refuses to lunr-
nr l'>uy, imtwithfttnndint; their laic rccottcilio-

JUr. Vc^ my lord, iic dnc* iodcred : and Uiu
made a <*idt4.-<l itoi»Q, mui ■(••d us in « very bn*e
nianner : I did not think rnnnrr (Jih-a wmild
have bceu m ready to believe such n thutg ul'

OS.

£iini Aim. Well, Mmnrr FniHield-^ I will imt
press on you a donnlii»n, the rojociion nf «h»i;h
doM yoi) An miirh rr«flit; y>'u ntsv loLe ntv
Word. lii»wrver, thai yiiir fcars npnii thiK iwcsi-
■■oil are entirely arFHiniHcw. Iluc thi^ i« not e-
■DO^ I w I hiive hern thr* niean^ of liKtnc vour
jliHlthtw one hii^MiiiJ, it t* hut jimt I ^Uwuld cet
another; nitd, since the tarmer is m <<critf>u-
Ihcre M a youoc man in the hoiuc hero,
I have <M>in<- in(tu<*ncc over, nnd, I dnre tay,
be will l>e le«'> sqiimini*'!.

Kar. To b" vire, mv lonf, yrtii hnvo, in nil hn>
aSK wey^ a rtshc [1 diipo^c of me and mine as
JOB ibink pnippr.

t4w<i ,lim. Oo thrn immedintcly, nmt hriinr
Patty hlth^^; I ^hitll nnt be caky, till I hnvc |r>-
Trn you enwe MUafutiim. But, suit nnd uke
a letter, «vkidi I am itefipiiK into my Mudv to
write : I'll order a ehniae lu ne tfot rradv, that
you inay go back and forwiinl with greater cxpc-

AIR.

k

^F Shall U in thy tmmniels eoinit,
^E *i"a the idol ul'niv bvwt^

■ Vol. m.

it! meflf .' Hmrc, tyrant faJiion !

T*"**'!! I'l wrvilr iniii'!« tmut Ijia' ;
Curh m th«!m riv-'i £rirnMi9 ptiMtOD,

£v'ry motion keep in awe.

Whik' it b«:its. all fervent, filowinj; ,
With my hl'c I'll ftooner port.

[Rtcunt.

SCEuVE lU.

Enter ¥.\iiK\,/<fllamng Ralfh.

Fan. K:tlph. Kilph !

H'tffiH. Wb^l do you wiuit wttli mu, eh f

Fat, lAtnl ! I ik*ver kiioited snr'i u niiin ns
you are, ^ittcc 1 comod into llie \Tor|d | i^ body
ruii't spcitk to you, but you t'ldU ^truit wiiyi into
n pnMinn : I fnlloived you n\t fnxn the hniMe,
nnlv you rttd ro, there vntA no >ucli li Uitii;: u^ ocrr-
tnklii:; Viju»aiid [ hnve it&ia u oitai^ titcrc at tha
^bsifk ihwr ctor «> liinL*.

Hufph. Well, nnd non vnu m:iv c<) nnd tvait at
th'? ti>rc door, if you likv ii- bui I lorowurn yoj
nid your i;iiii^ not tu kt-rp lui-linQ iilhiut our
mill any longer: (or if you do, I'll wjhI llif con-
stnblc after you, &ud hnve vou, evcrv ntotbrr's
skill, cl)t(>i into thti I'ountv saol. Yon are ^n';h a
pock of thicvcA, our cau'i hiuiK »o much iim u rag
tu drv for you : it wan but die otlier day, tlitt a
coupio »f tlieiii Muoa iiit^iour kitvlwii to hL-i> a
ti&ndfu) i<f dirty llour tu inake iliau i:ak<^, nnd,
before the wench could liirn nbum, they luJ
whipped oifihrer hnue ttandk*«ticks nnd a ^t-
lid.

Pan. Well, sure it wm doi [,

litilpk. Ttic'i, vou know Uint old rnsc^t, tlwt
vou call fiithei' ^ ihe InU linic 1 Calrhc^d liitq lav-
tiis, siiam tor the hnrra. 1 told liitn I'd inl'tirtu
the irnuiH-krH*per; and rilexrv>ir gll— ■-

Fan. Ah, dear lUlpli ! don't be aagnf witb-
me!

Hnlph. Ves I will be nn!;ry wirh you— wlial d<»
von cniiie ntxh nie for ? — Ymi *\\M\'i iiwrh me—
Vhcre'n the *kIrtof ray rfM\t, nnd if \o«) dn hdk
lay A hniTPr on i;, my loni% lunliflT k here in tl»c
court, und Itl mil him nnd i:ivcvrMi l-i him.

Faa. If you'll fonp^'tt me, m Ko down on my
knce^ !

Ratph, I tell yon I won't!— No, n<i; Tollow
your e^ndeoiaii ; or co live upon your old fare,
cnms and pnliTtilx, and «hrrp ilml die -if the
rut: pick llic itcAd luwl nlT tlw (hiiir-hiiU, nnd
•kqneiirh ymir iliir^i at lite now rlirrh : *lt4 the lit'
lr«t lir^uor to wudi down »ucli dnintirrk — bkulk-
ine nhnot from barn to hem. und Imh!! upon
nft uraw, oo' cmamtiim, nnd in ::ivrii liiiic*«— ^o
and be whtpt fmin parish CO pnilill, a> you uiied
10 be.

F»H. Unw CTin you talk tn oiAind ?

Hnfpfi. \iu\ 9rc«hetllPTVM'i will ee> what M-ifl
k<-rp v'Hi an 1 did, by leltm^ •*( iorhmcs and
coininK "'•ill pillows under wiur nprno nmoHi{
ihc yivini; I'urmcrs* wives, to innkc (lelwvr rnn
arc n hrecdinc, «ith 'the Lonl .<\liui*:htv bte««
' yiMi, Micet niiiitnr» ! yon canitut tell Jmw «oot> it
' inuy lie your unn cnM,* Yon kiv>w I am at.-~
qiLiiutfid with all your tricks-— and Iioh you turn
3U

4«6

BRITISH DRAMA.

[BicKBKSTA rr.

up tlie whites of your eyes pretending yoa were
struck blind by thunder and lightiiine !

Fan. Pray, don't be angry, Ralph !

Ralph. Yes, but I will thou'^h ; spread your
cobwebs 10 catch flies ; I am an old wasp, aud
dou'c value tbcm a button.

AITL
When you meet a tender creature.
Neat in limb, and fair in feature.
Full of kindness and good nature,

Prove as kind again to she ;
llappy mortal ! to possess tier,
In your bosom, warm, and press her,
Morning, nuun, and night, caress her,

And bie fond as fond can be.

But if one yoa meet tliat's froward,
Saucy, jilting, and untoward.
Should you act the whining coward,

Tis to mend her ne'er the whit :
Nothing's tough enough to bind her ;
Then, egt^ when once you find her,
Let her go, and never mind her :

Heart alive, you're fairly quit

Fan. I wish I had a draught of water. I
don't know what's come over me ; I have no
more strength than a babe ; a straw would fling
nic down. — He has a heart as hard as any parish-
officer; I don't doubt now, bot he will stand by
and see me himself: and we shall all be whipt,
and alt throu^ my means.— 'l*he devil run away
with the gentleman, and his twenty guineas too,
for leading me astray ! If 1 had known Ralph
would have token it so, I would have hanged
myself before I would have said a word — but I
thought he had do more gall than a pigeon.

AIR.
O ! what a simpleton was I,

To make my bed at such a rate !
Now lay thee down, vain fool, and cry.

Thy true Inve seeks another mate.

No tears, alack !

Will call him back,
Ho tender words his heart allure ;

I could bite

My toneue through spite

Some pl^ue bcwitch'd me, that's for sure.

[Kxit.

SCENE IV.— Change* to a room in the miller's
houie.

Enter Gii^iAjfoUotced by 'PxTit andTHEoDosiA.

Allt
Gila, Womens' tongues are like mill-clappers,
And from thence they learn the knack,
Of for ever souadiog clacks- -

Giles. Enough said ; 1 fkw't waiu to stay in
house, not I ; and I don't much car^ if I

Why, what the plague's the matter with you
what do you scold at mc for ^ I am sure I did not
<iay an uncivil word, as I do know of ! FU be
judged by the young lady if I did.

Fat. 'Tis very well, farmer; all I denre is,
that you will leave the house; yoa see my fa-
ther is not at home at present ; when be a, if
you have any thing to say, you know where ta
come.

the
bid
De%'er come into it.

The. For shame, farmer! down od your kneo,
and beg Miss Fairtield's pardon, for the ootiage
you have been guilty of.

Giles. Beg fmrdon, miss \ for wbat \— ■ -IcoJ
that's well enough ; why I am my own BMter,
be'nt I ? — If I have no mind to marry, diere's m
harm in that, I hope : 'tis only rhunging Inwk.
— This morning she would not have Be; aid
now I won't have she.

Pat. Have you ! — Heaven and earth ! do yn
think, then, 'tis the missing of yoa, that gives ae
concern ? No': I would t»«fer a state of b^ganr a
tliousand times beyond any thing I coatd esjoy
with you ! and be assured, if ever I was skid-
ingly consenting to such a sacrifice, uotfaing should
have compelled me to it, but the crudtj of iif
situation.

Gi^. Oh, as for that, I believes yoa; faot^
see the gudgeon would not bite, as I told yon a
bit af^nne, 3rou know ; we farmers never km to
reap what we don't sow.

Pat. You brutisli fellow, how dare yon taft^—

CiUs. So, now she's in h«r tantrums agHi^iD^
all for no manner of yearthly thing !

Fat. But, be assured, my lord will puniib jtis
severely for daring to make free with his omit.

Giles. Who made free with it? did I rrer
mention my lord? Tis a cursed lie !

The. Bless me ! farmer !

Giles. Why it is, miss and lllnnkebfl

prove her words ^Tben, nhat does she attm

by being punished? I am not afraid of mahnAft
nor beholden to nobody, that I know of: wfaifei
pays my rent, my money, I believe, is as lood tf
another's: egad, if it goes there, I diinkl&eiebl
those deserve to be punished more than 1.

Pat. Was ever unfortunate creature ponse'
as I am, by distresses and vexations?

The. My dear Patty !— See, fanner, yoohw
thrown her into tears — Pray, be comforteii

AIR.

Pat. Oh leave me, in pity ! The ftlaciNoJ I
scorn;
For slander the bosom ontuated it-
fies:

Butrudenessand insult arcnottobeboiK

Though ofier'd by wretches m'tcm*"

todespue.

BlCKKRSTAFP.]

BRTTISH DRAMA.

4t7

I

I

Of woniBo defenceless, how cniel the
fate!
Pbm mrer lo cmutioas, w blameless her

WOT,
KaturCf tinj cnrv, lurli alwoys in ivaic,
Aiid inuoccitre fkllstoiheirfurra prey.
[Enunl Patty ami GrtcV

ITafer Mrnvrx.

\r. Too ere a prptty gernleman, are not *ou,
10 ftitfrr a. laily lu be at a rcndcivous brforo
yon?

Aler. Difficulties, my dear, atid datifcra^—
Nuoc oi' titc ctitapany had two Kuit« of apparel ;
#o ] was obliged to purchase a rn)> of ow, and a
tatter froin anat)i«r, at tlic exnL>iii.-c uf itn tunes
ibe sum thev would fetch nt tlie paper-ioill.
The. Well, where are they*

Mer, Here, in this bundle and, TUfm^h 1

my itf a very decent habiliment, if you liavc art
cnooKh lo stick the parts to°;othrr : I've been
WBtoiing till the coast was clear to Lnng thtm tn
70U.

We. Let me see III slip into this closet

Um) eouip nivsclf All here is in such coiifu-

aioti, tDere will no nnticc be token.

Mer. Do so ; I'll take cnrr nubtidy shall iit-
trmipt you in the progress of your luctnuinrplio-

ua [She gen is.] ^iid if ynu are not icdious

we may walk olT nhliout being secu by tiny
one.

TV, Ha! ha! ha! Wluit a crnirotirst

of atoms are lierc ! though, a.s I liv«, lliey are a
grcftt deal better than I espected.

flier. Well, pfjiy make haste ; and don't iina-
Ipfke ynunclf at your toiicite noT»\ where mode
prescribes two hnur«, for what reason would
acsrce nllnw three miimtes.

TAf. Hare p.'\ticnce ; the outward f^nnent is
on already ; niid I'll assure you a very guud stuff,
oniT a lililc the worv: fur the mending.

Mcr. Inia)>ine it embroidery, and consider it
is TOur wedding- suit. Comr^ how far are yon

H TV. Stay, yoa don't consider there's some

BsCOwriTaoce ncccssarr. - Here i{oei the np-

pron — (louneed and furbelnwed with a wit^e^«! —

Alas ! aJas ! it ha* no strings ! what shall I do ?

Come-, no matter, a couple of pins will «p*'e

And DOW the cap Oh, mercy ! here's n h.>!c

in tlie crown of it lar^c onooi^h to thrust my head
thmueih.

Aicr. Tfiat ynuTI hide with yoor straw^hat;
or, if ytxi jhould n<it — What, not ready yd?
T*e. Only out minute more— -Yes, now the
:'» accomplished. [Comes out.

AIR.

L

Whol! buy EOod luck ? who'll buy, wholl buy
The tyi^sey s laroon ?— lierc am 1 !

Tltroogh tl»c Tillage, throngh the town.

What utMrminjc sav'ry xcraps we'll earn !
Clean etruw kltalt be our lieds of down,

And our withilrawing-roDm a barn.

Yonng and old, and grave, and gay,

llie mt»er and the prodigal ;
Cii, coijruer, bumpkin, come away ;

I warrant we'll coutcnt you all.

Eutcr Fairpield and Gitcs.

ifrr. Placuc, here's (^miebody cimiing f

yair. As to llie past, frtrmcr, 'tin ini'il ; I heap
nn malice for any thing iIkui hast s:ud.

Oitet, Why, .Mtiilcr i'Mirfield, yuu do know I
had a great regard fur Ali»s Hatty; Imt when I
cnine to consider all m nil, I hnds as how it is nol
adviikciible to chnniie my condition yet awhile.

Fair. Friend Uiles, l))uu artin the riff^il ; mar-
riage H ft serious point, and can't he omsidend
too wardy. H» ] who have wc here } >\\v\\ I
never keep my house char of these vermin f
LiHilc lo tl>e £Ofw1% there, and git'e tne a liurKC-
whip — by the Ij>rd llarrv, 1*11 make an esample !
Come here, Ijidy Li^ht-fingcrs ! let me sec

what th»ii ha.Ht htolcn.

Mcr. Iltild, miller, Imtd !

Fuir. O gracilis goodness! Sure I know i)ii«
face — Mivi — Youiifi' madam Sycamore —Mercy
heart, heiVs a disguise !

The. Diwovered !

Mer. MilltT, let me speiik to you.

The, What til fortune is tliis l'

G'tUs. Ill fortune, mns! I thiuk tlKrre he tKK
thiog but crosses and niisfdrtuncs of uno kind or
other.

Fair. Money tome, sir! not for tlto world;
you want no frit-mis but what you Itave already

Lack-a-nlay, Uck-a-day ! see ln>w lucktir I

came in: I believe you arc the K*-^uil('iiiaii, to
wIkhh I nm rhargcd to pre this, on the part of my
lont AimwortJt — -Bli:s% you, dear sir, gu up to lus
honour, with mv young Indy — There is 11 cliai»e

waitiiiy at the (fo«r to carry jou 1 and my

daughter will take another way.

{FMt Faib.

Afff. Priiliee, read this letter, and tell me
what yo*i think of it.

Tkr. Heavens, "tis a letter from lord Aim*
worth I We are betrayed !

A/er. By what means I know not.

The, I am so frighted and flurried, that Z bara
scarce stret^th ctKKigh to read it.

*SfR,

* It is with the preatcst ooncem I find, that I
' have been unhappily the occasion of firing some

* oncastoess to you and Miss Sycamore : be a»-

* wred, bad I been apprized of your prior pre-
' tensions, and the youiu; lady's dispoiiiLion in
' your favour, 1 should have been the last person

4'^

BRITISH DRAilA.

CBlCKKBSTAF^.

* t't interrupt your feiic-ity.] I he^ tir, vou nill du
' tuf U:l- tsvuur to coiue up to my buuec, where
' I hiivc ^leaHy so far ^ettied nwttt^n, ac to be

* ill)!*- to asuire you, that every thing Hrill go en-

* tircly to your Mii&l'uctiuo.*

M(r. Wei! ! What do you think of it > Shall
ML- ^o the ca>tle? Welt!

Tilt.. Wfil!

Mfr. \\ liat do ynu think of it f

T/-t. Nay, wbat do you think of it ?

Met. I'pid, I cau't vr-ry wet! tell — However,
on tl;e nhole, I tielicve it would Le wroni: of us
lu pureed uuy further in uur de&ign of running
awiiv, (.\(-ii if the thing v>ab piactit.'ahic.

The. I am entirely of your opinioo. I swear
tliis lord Aiiiiwurth ib a chamiinti auin ! I laiiry
'ti& lucky for you I had not been lung eoough ac-
quainted will) liitu, to liitd out all hit. fzuod quali-
ties. But how the dture came he tu he:ir- —

Mtr. No matter; after this, there can be no-
thing to apjjicheod. Wliatdo you bay? bhall we
go up to the castle ?

T/ie. By all means ! and in this very trim ; to
show what «e were capable of doing, if my fa-
ther niid mother had not conic to rcaw>u. But,
perhup!-, the diflicultiett hdng removid may les-
sen ynt:r ptmhunt: you men arc such uo&c-
coLiilablr mortals. Do you love nic well enough
to marry ine, without making a frolic uf it?

^kr. Do I love you !

Tin: Ay ; nnd to what degrtx?

Mcr, Why do yoo at>k me ?

AIR.

Who upon the oo^ beech,

Can count the immVous sands that lie ?
Or distinctly reckon each

Transparent orb that studs the sky }

As their muhttude betray.
And frustrate all attempts to tetl :

So 'tis impoBsibte tu say
How much I love, [ love so well.

The. But, hark you, Mcrvin ? will you take after
my fatlier, and he a very husband now ? Or don't
you think I shall take after my mother, aud be a
cotiimundiug wife F

Mcr. Oh, I'll trust you.

The. But you may pay for your confideuoe.

[£xeuM/ Meh. und Tuz.

Gile$. So, there goes a couple ! Icod, 1 be*
licvc Old Nick htis^ot nnioii^ the people in these
parts ! This is us queer a thing as ever I heard
of. Master Fairfteld and Miss Patty, it seems,
arc gone to the castle, too; where, by what I
Xasns from Ilal^i in tlic mill, my lord has pro-
mised to ^ct her a husband umoi^ the scnaJits.
^^ow set m case the wind &et» in that corner^ I

l^te liL-cn tbiakiop nitb tDTseif «bo tbr fJapw
it can be : there arc no nranarried fDen in the
family, that I do know of^eicep tii^t little Bob, the
pcAtiriion, and Master Jonathui, ibe Lutler ; md
1:6*& a matter of siity or screnty lears ctkL 1*11
be shot if it be'ot liltJe Bob \ Icut^ FU take tbe
nay (o the castle, as well «s tbe rot ; fur I'd faio
Kie bow tbe nail do drire. It is well I bad wit
etiouvh to discern things, and « fnend to adrise
uiih, or el^e she would have fallen to mv lot —
But I haie got a Mirfcit of goinf: a courting, aod
bum me if I non't l>ve a bachelur ! fur, when all
comes to all, I sec nothing but ill blood aod ^Ba>
rcls among folk when they are Dkanied.

AIR.

Then bey fur a frolicsome life !

ril ramble where pleasures are life:

Strike up with itie free-lieartcd laua;
And uevcr ihiuk more of a wife.

Plague on it! men are but assesy
To run al'tcr noi^e and strife.

Had we been together bucJtted,
Twould ha^e proved a fine a£&ir;

Dogs would bale barked at the cuckoliL
And boys, pointing, cried — Look tbne !
[BxU GiLis.

SCENE III.— Changes to a grand mparimemt n
Lord Aiuwoitiu's Actise, opening to a vixKtf
the garden.

Enter Ixird Aiuwobtb, Faikfjeld, Putt,
and Ralph.

lutrd Aim. Thus, Master FairfieU, I hope I
have fully satisfied you with regard to the fabi?
of the imputation thrown upon your diii^''*'
and me?- — •

Fair. My lord, I am very well content ; pnj
do not ^ve yourself the trouble of saying in?
more.

Ralph, No, my lord, you need not say sbj
more.

lair. Hold your tongue, sirrah

Lord Aim. 1 am sorry, Pattv, you have bad
this niortiflcatioii.

Pat. I am sorry, my lord, you have beea tn»
lilcd about it; but really it was against my cw-
sent.

Fair. Well, come, children, we will not t»l'
up Ins honour's time any longer ; let us be {WV
towards home — ilcaven pru!>per your tordiiup^
tlie prayers of me and my family sball always ■(•
tend you.

Lord Aim. Miller, come back — Patty, stay—

Fair. Has your lordship any tbii^ further w
command usF

Lord Aim. Why, yes. Master Fairfield, J krt
a word or two still to say to you~fo sbcr^ tkMfb

BiCKBBSTAFF.]

[ BlCKI

I jrou are tntitfii^H in this nflnir, I lun not ; nnd tou
I deem io far^i iho i>romt.u: I made you, c'Iihi,
since 1 had been thr nir-an^i of loiin^ ynur daugh-
ter oiic huBband, I would bod her iitioihrr.

Fatr. Yuur honuur la to da as you please.

Lord Am. What f*y yau, Fattv f will yun ac-
cept ut' a husband of niv cliUMng?

J*at, My lurd, I }iavc uu drltnninatioD; you
arc the best judue how I ought to aet; whatever
you cutnninnd, 1 !>hnll nlicy.

Jjord Aim. Tlien, Futtv. iticre is hut one per-
son I cau offer you — aii^ 1 nish, fur your »skPf
he was more dcncn iiig— -lake hi«.

Fat. Sir!

Idfrd Aim. Frutn this iDoroi'iil mir interest Die
our, 39 our bearU; aiul nn curthly pu»cr »hall
uvcr divide us.

i^a*r- O lltc ^mcioub ! Pally — my Ion) — did I
hear ri^bl ! Yuu^ sir ! you marry a child of mine!

jAua Jim. Tc», my honest old oinn ! in me
you Iwh'ild ihe hufbiind dc'ijiocd lor ycurdnupti-
ler ; sod 1 nm happy, tlinl, hy slaiidiuiE in the

Elacc of fortuQC, uho bos alouc been wuittin)* lo
er, 1 sltoU be able lo »et her nifrit in a li^hl,
•ihcn; its lu&lrc will he rendered coiispiniouft.

Tair, Bui good* tiohlv kiV, prnv ci^nHidor !
d«rt/l en to put upon :i nUv oM man! toy ilough-

tcr is utmoftby Fiitty, diitd, w]iy don't you

aptiok?

J*at. What can 1 say, fjtthcr? What answer
(u utih uiiItM>kcd-furf autJi unmrrited, Midi im-
buuiukU griierusily ]

Ralph. Duwu on yuur laecSf and full a cry-
ing.

Pat. Yes* sir, a< my fntltcr tays. coiuidcr

your Bobic fnt-iids, your relations — [t muHt not,
caiinol be.

Latd AuH. It uufit, uid abuli — Friends ! Ilc-
lattoflk! from hoiu.x*fbrtli 1 have none, that will
not Mrkiiuwlcdec yuu : And I nm sure, nhiri ihry
bccmuc ac^uaiutrd with yuur perlL-iiioiia, tlio-rt.-,
whoM 9uiFrii)(c I iiiou csU'cm, will milicr admire
the jutticc of my choice, tlinn wonder at \ti uii-
Cularity.

All*.

rd Aim. My hfc, tny joy, my blrssinc
lu iher. cacli Rrare |ni«v-><kiii}^
All uut: rity dioicc approve.

To ydu my all i» owing ;
U ! lake a lieiirt oVrflotiing
Wuli i;r:tniiiili- aitd love.
rd Aim, Ihu.i cnloidin^

Thu& bdioldinj;

One to my »aiU so dear :
Can ihcrv he iileosurc j-rcnier !
Can there Ixr miia cotnplelcr !

^fis too mudi to bear.

BRITISH DRAMA.

Eattr Sir IIa&ky, Ladt Sycahobc, Tbcodo-
siA, an^ Mejivik.

Sir liar. Well, we have followed your lo^t^
ship's coubm;!, and made the beet i>f a bad mar-
krt — 8u, niy Utrd, pluue to know our Km-ln-lawi
iliai ift to \w.

Lord Aim. You do tne a ;:reat deal of honour.
1 u-iah you jtiy, ur. with all my heart ! And now,.
Mr Harry, ^ivc tue leave to iniroditce to you a

mw reUitioti of mint 'JTiis, t>ir, ibebortJy to

he my Mile.

Str lUr. My lord !

hidif SjfC. Your lordfthip'fi wift I

Juird Aintt Yc», inaiiaiu.

Xiu/y >^c. .And uliv mi, my lord ?

ImiU Aim. Why, fuitli, niadniti, becauir fran't
live happy wttlioul her — And I think she has too
m»i>y nmiablf, luo toiiny cftunafale ywliut:s> to
meet with a wurw lute.

Sir H^ir. W inl^ but you are a peer of the
renhn ; jou will huve all the tleerers —

iMrd AnB, I Louw very well thr ndirulc, tbnt
may br tliromi uti n lord's marrYUii* ii lOiUflr'i .
dtiuujiier : and 1 omu, with bloelies it Iwu for
koine time luul too grc«t woi^U with nic : hut
we sliould iniirry lo please oundvea, not other
pcu[j1e : oikI, on inalure couattknttioa, J can sea )
no reproach Ju»lly meritcH, hy raising a deberving
vMinnui to n station she is cnpaUe of mlomln^
let her birth he uhat it will.

Sir ilnr. W hy, 'lis very irwi, my lord. I onre
knew n.gcniicnmn, that matncd his cixtk-maid:
he »iu n retntiuu of ray (nvit~— Vou rcmrnibcr
fat Margery, my lady f She was a very pood sort
of a w^iiuait, imk^d die wa<, and made the best
siict iliMMpliit^!^ I ever tii5ted.

hidjf ^Stfc. Will von never leM^. sir Harrv, to
jiiMiril yuur exprevaon-* ? Well, hut ^ivc me leave,
my luni, lo say a word tu you — Tliere arc other
ill I'uiisi'i^ut-iKvs altendioie ?>uch lui alliance.

IatJ Attn. < >iic of thctn I uippo«e is, tliat I,
a peer. »liOtd«i l>e ohhcnd to cnll tliis niod old
indier fuiher-in-law } Itui wliere'f the Jtame in
ihiil * lie i« as pood as any lord, in being a man;
and if we ilare Boppi»e a hird, that is not an ho
iic«t man, he is, in my opinion, the more rcapeafr* i
able dmraeter. Come, Master ruirfieldf nve '
nic your hand; from heuecforth you have oune
niih N'urkini:; we will pull down your mill, and
huild ynii a houM' in the place of it ; and the mo-
ney 1 ioienricd for the ponicui of your dnuftbtar,
shall nrfw be laid out in purchasing a ronuoiision
lor your «jn.

Halpk. Wliat, my lord, wUI you make mo a

• MplHIll !

lA*rd Aim. Av. a colonel, if you dcscrre it.
Raiph. Then I'll keep Fan.

4S0

BRITISH DRAMA.

[BlCKBK»TAFP.

Enter Gitts.

Giles. Ods bobs I where am I niuning? I b^
pardon for tfi; audacity,

Ralph. Hip, fanner ; come back, mon, come
back— Sure my lord's going to marry sister him-
self; feyther'a to have a £ie house, aod I'm to
be a captain.

Lord Aim. Ho, Master Giles ! pray walk in ;
here is a lady, who, 1 dare swear, will be glad to
see you, and ^ve orders, that you shall alwi^s
be made welcome.

Ralph. Yes, farmer, youll always be welcome
in the kitchen.

Lord Aim. What, have you nothing to say to
your old aoquuntance? Come, pray let the far-
mer salute you — Nay, a kiss — I msist upon it.

Sir Bar. Ha, ha, ha !— Hem !

Lady Sye. &r Harry, I am ready to sink at the
monstrousness of your behaviour.

Lord Aim. Fy, Master Giles ! don't look so
sheepish ; yon and I were rivals, but not less
friends at present. You have acted in this af&ir
like-an honest Englishman, who scorned even the
shadow of dishonour, and thou shale sit rent-free
for a twelvemonth.

&r Har. Come, shan't we allsalate? With
your leave, my lord, I'll—-.—

Lady &fc. Sir Harry !

AIR.

^ord Aim. Yield who will to forms a martyr.

While, uoawed by idle shame,
Pride for happiness X barter,

Heedlese of the million's blame.
Thus with love my arms I quarter ;

Women graced in nature's frame.
Every privilege, by charter.

Have a right from man to claim.

7%t. Eased of doubts, and fears presa-

pngf
What new joys within me nse !

While mamma, her frowns assoa-

Dares no longer tjrraomse.
So long storms and tempests t*-

V/hea the blostering fury dies,
Ah ! how lovely, how engagii^
Prospects rair, and cToodlesi
skies!

Sir Har, Dad 1 But this is wond*roas pretty.
Singing each a roun-de-lay.
And rl! mii^e in the ditty.
Though 1 scarce know what ta
say.
There's a daughter, brisk and *it-

Here's a wife can wisely sway :
Trust me, roasters, 'twere a pity
Not to let thetn hare their way.

Pet, My example is a rare one ;

But the cause may be divined :
Women want not merit — dare one

Hope discemii^ men to find.

O ! may each accomplished fiar

one.

Bright in person, sage in niiid.

Viewing my good fortune, dnn

one

Full as splendid, and as kind f

Gilet, Lauded at, slighted, drcomvcat'

ed,
And exposed for folks to sect,
1'is as tho'f a man repented
For his follies in a ^icet.
But my wrongs go unresnted,
Since the fates have tbm^t
them meet :
This good company contented.
All my wisms are cooiplete.

[Exeunt omita.

URN.

l^rHAitr Frscrs 'A' Committary,
ls4ac KiTNOVS h a brother.
GurcLL, d Ifcturtr on etocntion.

VoL-IfG l/tVEtT, ton to WlWJW JjJVEIT.

BRlPOti>, tt ruiing mastrr.

Dm Catgut, a musician.

h% Fl.H'n, Ta/rt ta Zacbart Fuxopa.

SivoK, prctnuted »ertant to Dottr.

CmkAnwit.

■ SCENE I.— M« Mhblin's hoiue.

m Jjmd knocking at the Joor. — Enter Jusvr.

y Jem. Rm; rap, rnp ! up itnirs anil duwn

nKJmini: lu iiii;lu ! — if lliis same cornmissarv iiayt
tnudi lunger a-iionzst us, mv mistress miut c'vn
Inrc » porter. WhnS tbcn- ?

Am, f IFiJA^'tir.] Ii Mn M<.-cbliii at home?

Jen. pio. [Op<Hi tfif door.] Oh ! what, is it
JQO, Simon i

&m. At yaur tervice, iwrrl Mr^ Jaiic.

3m. Why, yuu kiHtcli witli nuiimrity; and what
■e ynur roiniiwnd\ AlnMer .Simon ?

St/u. I coiae, inailam, lo receive iIkik of jour

RUStrL-M. Wlint, JennVr liiu ^lie any Kreat atfair

the auvi) } Jlcr kummous b most i;xcccctingl^

presfiioK; and you need not be told, child, tlutt a
man of my cooscqucucc does not trouble liimicir
about triflei.

Jen. Oil, air, I koow very well yuu principal
actors don't pcrfarua every nighu

Sim. Mighty well, ma'am ! but, notwitbttand-
uut your ironical sneer, it is not every ntnn that
wmdo for your ini»trei»; her ageut& roti&t have
geoiui and pans: I don't suppose, in the whele
bills 'ii nM»rtulity, tlicrc i> to general and extea-
uve a dealer mA my friend Mrs Uechlin.

Jen. Why, (o be wrc, we have plenty of cus-
tomers w>d fur variuus Linds of cointuooiljes; it
wuuld be pretty difficult, 1 fancy, to-— — -

Sita. Com mf>di lies ! Your humble serrant,
sweet Mfb Jane ; ye&, yes, you hare various kinds
of commodities, indeed.

Jtn* Mr Simon^ I don't undcraUad you : I sup-

4Si2

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FOOTE.

pose it is no secret in what sort of goods our
dealing consists ?

Sim. No, no i they are prettr well known.

Jen. And, to be sure, tnou§;h now and then, to
oblige a customer, mjr mistress does condescend
to smuggle a little —

Sim. Keep it up, Mrs Jane !

Jen. Yet there arc no people in tbe liber^ of
Westminster, that live in more credit than we
do.

Sim. Braro!

Jen. The very best of quality are not ashamed
to visit my mistress.

Sim. They have reason.

Jen. Respected by the neighbours.

Sim. I know iL

Jen. Punctual ia her payments.

Sim. To a moment.

Jen. R^ular hours.

Sim. Doubtless.

JeTt. Never miss the sarmant on Sundays.

Sim. I own it.

Jen. Not an oath comes out of her mouth,
unless now and then, when the poor gentlewoman
happens to be overtaken in liquor.

Sim. Granted.

Jen. Not at all given to lying, biu, like other
tradcsfolks, in the way of her buMoess.

Sun. Very well.

Jen. Very well ! then pray, sir, what would
you insinuate ? Look you, Mr Simon, don't go to
cast reBections upon us; don't think to blast the
reputation of our —

Sim. Hark ye, Jenny, are you serious ?

Jen. Serious ! Ay, marry am L

Sim. The devil you are !

Jen. Upon my word, Mr Simon, you should
not give your tongue such a licence ; let me tell
you, these airs do not become you at all.

Sim. Hey-day ! why, where the deuce have I
got? Sure, I have mistaken the houtc; is not
this Mn> Mechlin's !

Jen. That's pretty well known.

Sim. The commodious, convenient Mrs Mech-
lin, at the sign of the Star, in the parish of St

Jen. Bravo !

Sim, That commercial caterpillar P

Jen- I know it.

Sim. That mnrderer of manufactures ?

^n. Doubtless.

Sim. That walking warehouse?

Jen. Granted.

Sim. That carries i^bont n greater car^o of
contraband goods under her petticoats then a
Catois cutter i

Jen. Very well.

Sim. That engrosser and seducer ef virgins f

Jim. Keep it up, Master Simon !

Sim. That foreataller of bagnios ?

Jen. Incomparably 6ne !

Sim. That cantii^ oraeoii^ mooey-leoifii^

match-making, pawnfaroking

[Loud kmockimS'

Jen. Mighty well, sir! here cocnes my miV
tress ; she shall thank you for the pretty picture
you have been pleased to draw.

Sim. Nay, but, dear Jenny

Jen. She slnll be told how l^tly she stands k
your favour.

Sim. But, my sweet jiirl— [Kaorit again.

Jen. Let me go, Mr Simon ; don t yoa bear r

Sim. And can you have the heart to ruin me
at once ?

Jen. Hanils off!

Sim. A p<^ace, a peace, my dear Mrs Jane^ and
dictate the articles.

Enter Mr.s Mecsltk, foUatced by a kaekxcv-
coachman, trith tezeral bundles, in a capuelm,
a bonnet, and her cloaths pinned up.

Mrs Aleeh. So, hussy ! what, must I stav «!1
Hay in the streets? Who have wc herePTbe
de^-il's in the wenches, 1 thiuk I — One of yoor fel*

lows, I suppose Oil, is it you ? Uow £u«s it,

Simon ?

Jen. Madam, you should not hare waited t
minute ; but Mr Simon-

Sim. Hush, hush! you bai^surous ja__

Jrn. Knowing your knuck, fmd ea^rtoopen
the door, flew up stairs, fell over the laadii^
place, and quite barred up the way.

Sim. Yes ; and I am atraid I have put out nnr
ancle. Thanks, Jenny ; you shall be do kMcr.
you sIuL [Jiidt.

Mrs Mech. Poor Simon ! Oh, Lord taie

mercy upon me, what a round have I taken ?—
Is the wench petrified f Why don't you reach oe
a chair ? don't you see I am tired to death?

Jen. Indeed, madam, you'll kill yourself.

Sim. Upon my word, raadatn Mechlin, ma
should takp a little care of yourself ; indetdyoa
bbour too hard.

Mrs Meek, Ay, Simon, and for little or "no-
thing : only victuals and clothes : more cost tfasa
worship — Why does not the wench take tbe
things from the fellow? Well, what^ yonrfirc?

Coach. Mistress, 'tis hoae»Uy worth haif-a
crown,

Mrs Mech. Give him a couple of *AilHng% i^
send him away.

Coach. I hope you'll tip me tbe tester to
drink !

Mrs Meek. Them there fellows we ae<er
contented : Drink! Stand farther off! why,j«
smell already as stror^ as a beer-barrel.

Coach. Mistress, that's beeanae I base alrHy
been drinkint;.

Mrs MecK And are you not ■oheimil. «■
sot, to be eternaHr guizling? You bad
buy you tome ckatKa.

FOOTR-I

I

Cdsri. No, mistrcM ; m; honour won't lotinc
do rfaftt.

Aln Sffch. Your honour ! Aod pray how don
that liMidcr roai

CcncA. ^^ liv, when a powl (tciittowninnii like
yo» crie^ Here, coftcbnuui, here's ioiuethiiii{ to
drink^

jtfri Uerk. Well !

Coock. Would it be honour in me to lav it
ont hi any Ihio^ else? Nn, miareu, my ccmMrl-
eiice won c let inc ; bccauM wby, 'tt* tl>e i«ill of
the dunor, jun knnir.

- Hn Meek. Did you ever Iiear Midi a Idock-
hcad !

CimtA. No, nn, miKtreu; tlumgh I nm n poor
man, I won't lurfetl my h'moiir; my mirlo, ihiif
Z lore Thctn, poor beii)icsi>e», urn nut more dearer
to mc than that.

ifrj Mtclu Yeis, ynii and ynnr Iwirsem p^e

Eretty slroiij: pru^>l'd ol' your Uutiour; for yiHj
ave no cluattiB on your Inick, iind tlwy hove lui

fl«-9h. Well, Joniiy, give him the six|jeiii.-e

There, there ; Lay it out a» you will.

t'oyfA. It will be to your lM;alth, niiHtreu: it
■haJl melt at iIip Mpuk before I go liunjc ; I
ktiftll be careful to drar my cuu^ciciice.

Un Mwtk. I don't doubt it.

VmocK. You need not ; Mi«tre$s yoiir wn-ant.

[iiri/ Co'ir/).

Aln Mtch. lias lliere been any body here,
Jenny }

Jn*. Tltc Gentleman, mtidam, about tlic Glmi-
CUiersJiirc livim;.

Ain Heck, lie was ! Ob, oh ! wliat, I sup-
pose hit stomach*! come down. Does he like
the cncurnbnincc ? will he marry tlic party?

Jem. Whvi that article leema tu go a litile
aguost him.

Uri Slerk. Docs it fiof then, let him retire tn
tnt CuinberUnd curary ' that** n fine keen ttir ; it
will soiin eive him an npperite. He'll slick
to liu liooour too, till bin cassock it wore to a
n«.

JetLT ^*liy, indeed, tnndam, it seems pretty
rusty slfwidy.

Afri Mcik. De\'irt5li squeamish, I think ; a
I^MtJ fat lining, nod a fine wmnun into Uie bar-
.jgain ! You told Kun a friend of the lwly*» will
nke ihe child i>ff Iter hands ?

Jrn. Yes, madam.

Mrs .UrrA. So iliat tlie atliiir will be a seerct
lA all but bimsctf. Iliit he inu&t quickly resolve ;
for, neit week, his wife's m4jTitli will be up.

Jen, [le promiseil lii t-all about fuur.

Jfri MecM. Hot don't let him think «e arc

A Una fur a liusband : there is to my knnw-

P^f a mi'rrtuini's rlerk m the city, a comely

inc man, and cotnes uf |t<t04l friciids, thni will
lake ner with but a 5mall place in the cuntoin-
iwuse..

J*m. He ihallknowit

VouUl.

ilfrt AfrrA. Ay, and (ell him ihtit the partjli

fiarty has Hiiercti tnough tn ^htain it, wbenovor j
ic wilt. And rheo liir bri<karonm may |H)t iha i
piirrhHsr- money too of that mtiiC prewntation
mto his i>uti.t't.

Jrn. Tcilr, madam, t »1tould think this would
prove iIh' lie»t match for tli« lady.

JIfrt Xtech. Who doubts iti llerCf JMvny,

rarry theM: thinp above stiurs. Take care of
iltc eigreiic, Wmb the watch upon ilie table, and
be sure you don't mislay the pearl-itccUace : th«
lady goes to Mrs Comeleyss to-night: and, if
she has any lauk, she will be ^re tu redeetn it
to-morrow.

Sim. Whntn world of affairs t it is a wonder,
■nndam, how vuu arc able to remember them
all.

3fri 3f<n-A. Trifles, mere trifl«». Master Simon
— Rut I hare a ({rcat adair ia hand — surli aa
otiitir, if well managed, it will be the making of
us all.

Him. If I, madam, can be of the least use

Mr* Aleck, or the highest ! there's no doing
wiihuut you— You know the great —

Enter J tvvY.

Jrn. I hare pot the things where you ordered
madMm.

Mrt Mrck. Wry well, you may go. [EoV
J I N'sr,] I say, you know the i^rcnt commuaaty
rlint is romc tolodgr in mv houw ? Now, dwy
Nty (liis Mr Fungus i« us nch as an lodian
s<nemor; hcBvcn knoos how lie canio by it;
hut that, yoti know, i^ no business of ours,
Pn-Hly pickiiuiis, I warrant nbmad. [Loud knock-
I'qjr.] Who tiic deuce con that Le? Hut let it
ttti who it will, you mu»t nut go till 1 speak to
you.

£arer Jnritr.

Jm. The widow l/woit, madam.

Afrr Mexk. Whnt, liic nid iiqimrish downer
from Devtmshirc Square f hhow her in. | fliV /
JrifMV.j Ynu'l) wait in tiic kitchen, ^iinun; [
shall boon dispairh tier afhir. | Etit biMOK.

Enter Mas Lovtir.

Mrt Tjire. So, so, good mominfr to you, good
Mrs Mechlin ! Juhn, let the coocli wiut at the
conMT,

Mrt Mrrk. You had lieitrr sit here, madam.

Mrs Ijhtc. Any where. Well, my dear w<v
man, I hope you luive not iiyrsni your old l*HeniI
—Ugh, ugK, iigii. — [Omj^Ajl] Coiikidcr I have no
time to lose, and you arc always so full of •m-
plovmont,

iUri Mark. Format you I yoti shall judjfc, Mrs
Loveit. I have, mndam, prorided a whole car^o

SI

434

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FOOTI.

of htivlMinds for vou, of nil natinnt, complnion^,
•}:r$, tciripen, ntid tiie* : w, you Ke, you tiavc
nothiug lu <lo but chooK.

Mrt Lotr. Tu choose, Mrs Mccblin! Lord
help roc! what choice caii 1 hate? 1 look upon
wedlock lu be n liinH of a lottery, nnil I liu^e
alrcndy drntvii mv prize; met n forest one it was!
My poor dear man that's gfiut, I shull tievcr
incet wiih his fellow,

Mra Mtth. VJnu, maitiini ! don't let us iroulitc
our hcuda about him i 'ua high time that he was
forgou

Mn Lav, Bat won't his relations think me
vnthcr tf>n quirk i

AlfM Meek. Not a jnt : the grentcst cnmpli-
meut you could pay tn his nieinory ; it i& a proof
be p^ve you reason to be fond of the state. But
vhttt do you mean by ouick ? Why, he has been

buried ihese three wcekft

Mrt IjjTt. And tlirce days, Mr& Mcchtia.
Mr* Mech. Indeed ! quite an nge.
MrtXove. Yr^; but 1 shnll never forget blni ;
slecpirifc or waiving, hc'» always belurc me. His
dmr swelled bolly, and hin poor shrunk legs;
Lord bless me. Mrs Mcchlioj he had no more
calf thun ruy fan !
Jl/r, Mc'h. No !

Afn Lifve. No, iudecd ; and then, hia bit of ■
purple tiosr, and his little wt'czcti fare us sharp
m u mzof— ^Doo't mootiun it; 1 can never
lurjitt him. \Criet.

Mrt Mech. Sweet marka of remembrance in-
deed ! But, Qindam. if you continue to be «c fond
of your In&t husbnnd, what mtike» you think of
another }

Mr$ Lovf. Whv, »lmtcnn I do, IMri) Mech-
lin ? n poor, lone, widow wnmnn at. I am : there's
nobody mind^ mc; my tcnnutii brlitndlmnd. m\
serruiUit ull curcle», my children undulirul— l.V.h<
ugh, ugh I — [Cou^A*.

Afrs MrrA. You have a villatiou» cough, Mrit
Lovcit; sluill 1 MCnd for 6i>me lozctigL-s^

Mrt Lore. No, 1 thank you; 'tisiiotliingatall;
mere )uil>it; jiist a little trick I'rr efif.

Mrs MeeA. But I wonder you should have all
these vt'SHtion-s lu plague you, mndam ; you who
arc !M rich, and so-

Airs Lovf. Forty thousand in the four-pcr-
cents eiery morninj I rise, Mrs Wectilin, besidi-s
two housfft at Ilackuey : biit llieii, my aSiiir^ ure
to weighty and intrictiit- ; there i« such trickling
in lawyers, and such torments in children, that I
can't do \ty myself ; 1 mu3t haic u helpmulc:
quite Deceuity; no matter of choice.

Mrt Atcch, Oh, I undentond you ! you marry
merely for convrnienre ? ju»t only to f.ei on »»-
MKant, a kiud ufn (uard, a fence to your pro-
perty?

Mr* fjovr. Nothinp else.
Mrt Mech. I thought hi; quite prudential; so
0ial \\%i: lA none of your object : you don't want
^ Kuuperiuj;, (fiddy, sprightlyj young

Mrt Jjoee. Young !— !!*aven forbid ! What,
dn ynu ihmk, like «rimc ladiet I know, that i
watit to hove my huaband taken for one of oiy
crandchildien f No, no ; thank Heaven, »uch vain
thotietus ncvpr entered my head.

Mrt Mtch. But yeir a«> \our tuattcn stand, he
ou^lit not to be so very olct neither ; for instanoe,
now, of what uK tu yon would be a bosband of
aiity ?

Mrt Lmx. Sixty! Are you ntad, Mn Um^
liu? what, dn vou think I want to turn oivwl
.1/rj 3/frA.'0rfif[y-Cve?
Mrt Lnrr. Ugh, nuh. ugfa. —

Mis AJech. Or fifty?

Mrt Lov€. Oh * Uiat's tuocntnnif^ an age^
men, nnw-u-dny», rarely marry at fiity; iheym
too knowing and caulioot.

Mrt Mech. Or forty-five, or forty, or —
Mrt Laze. SItall I, 'Mrs Mechlin, teU yw a
piece of my mind ?

il/ri Mech. I believe, madam, that will be yoaf
hot way.

Mrt Love. \Miy then, as my children a«
young and rebellious, the way to aecore and pre-
ter^-c tlirir obedience, will be (o oianj a am
that won't grow uld in a hurry.

Mra Mcch. Why, I thought yoa dadntd
against youth ?

Mrt '/^i:v. So I do, ko 1 do ; bnt tliM, «
or seven und twenty is not m> lery t<>uo|^ Uo
Mechlin.

Mrs Mccfi. No no, a pretty ripe o^ : for. H
that time nf life, men ran bu^ttr and ttir; Aif
lire not eaMly checked ; and vrhatever tlirynfci
in luuid, iliey go through wilb.
Mrt Imcc. True, true.

Mm Meek. A^, oy, it is ibcn titer maybe mI
to be usrfdl; it i» the only tear and wear scan*
Mrt Ijjtr. Ititiht, rig;ht.
Mn Mech. Well, mailniii, I »** wbat fM
want ; and in-inorniw, about tJiu time, if wmU^
inc the favour to caJt ■ ■■
Mri I/we. I shan't fnJl.
^frt Mech. I think I can tuic you.
Mn Ij>rt. You'll be *ery ohti^ng.
Mrt Mcch. You may depend upoa it, HI ^
tny I'ntlcavour*.

Mrt Jj>Be. But, Mrs Mechlin, be inre *»^
let hiin be alder thiui that, nut above mt<* *
eiglu and twenty nt most ; luid let it be is**
AS vmi coitvniirntlycnn.

Afn Meeh. Never fear, tnndnm.
A/ri i*Tc. Becnuse, yon kiiiiw. the nwrrch^
drci) 1 hnve by the Mrcond huoliaiid. tbt ^mtf
pJaf;ue I shall prove lu tho»e I lind by the £m

Mn Mtch. Tnie, madnm ; ynn'hati b»litg
lean on me to iht tl-mr. But. nir!
It, you are vcrv inalicitiu«to your . . .
revengeful, indeed.

Mrt I^nw. Ah, thw dcFrrre h; yua «*
think ivhnt wd whelp& they turn out : do f**^
ment can be too much j if iJicir poor &**

FooTE.]

BurrrsH

I

w>ul(l but !ia»e furcscrm, they woutil Have — whf
did I nivntion the donr nian ? k mulii me tuu
much. Well, peace he with liicn. Tomorrow,
abuiit tilts titnc, Mre MecltUn, will tlie partv be
hrrc. think you?

Atrt Mrrh. t can'c sav.

iVrj Xriiiw. Welt, a (juod daj, good Mn Meeh-
Un.

Mrs Mrck. licre, John, take care of vftup
iniunu. [KsU -Mas Loveit,] A j^ood moniing
to TOO, Tnadittn. Jenny, bid Siinmi conic up. A
liuttbond ! lltcrP now i& a proof of the |irudenrc
of a^v ! 1 wuiulcr they don't add n rlaabc to the
»ct to prevent die old from murrving clmidc*-
tinely, us well a% the young. I am sure there arc
as many uiituituhlc mntclics at thia time of life
as the Dtlicr.

Unter Simoh.

Shut the door, Sifoon. Are there any of Mr

Firacus's Kr\'itnta bclnw P

Stm. Three or fuur siranjie fnocs.

Jlfrj Mfch. Ay, av, some of tliat troop, I »up>
jMHe. Come, Simon, (k^ &cnto<i. Well, Sinmn,
as I 'was inllin]; yoa ; tliiv Mr Kuo);a», tay lodger
abore, timt has lironcht home t'rom tlic wnrs a
whole cart'load of moocv, nud who (between
70U and I) went Uiere from very little better
than a drirei* of cwti

Sun. I formerly knew liiin, mmlam.

A/r» iUcrA, But lie does not know you ?

Sim. Xo, no !

Mrs HecM, I mm glod of llmt^TIm snark, I
■ay* not content with betn^ really as rii-n as a
lord, a detenninerl to rival tlieui, Coo, in every
Mber accompli^hineitt.

Sim. Will that be so easy? why he moil bo
[■ It|>ward9 of

Jfpi Mfch. Fifty, I warrant.

Sun. Rjiilier Ute in life to set up for a gentle-
matn.

Mrt Mech. But (ine talents, you know, and n
■tTTMic incluiation

Sim. Thni, iodeed

M^t Metk. 'llien, I promise you, lie spnrei for

Sim* T)ilif[ciit?

Mir* Mccit. OH, always at it. ^icnminK some-
r^in^ or other from nwroing to ni^ht; my house
I M a perfect academy, such a throng of fencer^

daoocry, ridots, musicians But. however, lu

i»eetcn ilit (lill. I hnve a fellow-fed iug for rr-
BDuneadiiH: ihe tcncJier».
Sim. No doubt, madam; ihnt is alwayi Ute

Mr» Mech. But one of lii« stiulics is renlly di-
vartiag'; 1 own 1 cau't help laugluug at tluiL

Sini WUi may thnt be?

Mr$ ilrtA. Onitorv. Ynu know his dnt am-
bition is til tuve n sval inn ccrtiun ustembly :
and in order to ap|)cnr tlicrc with credit, Mr

W'hat-d've-C'allum, the nmn from ihc city, at-
tends every niurmnf; to give him a lecture upon
spenkin;:. nod ibere is such huraoKuin*: nral bel-
lowing between thcin — l>or<i hnvu mercy upiwi^
Iwt you'll see enough oii't your»lf ; for, do yoa
know, Simon, you are to be bis valet-dc-chanibre f

Sim. Me, madam I

Mr$ Meffi. Ay. his privy counsellor, his cotH
fident, hi*i director in chief.

Sim. To what viid will lliat ao»wer t

Mrs Mt-^h. There 1 am cominE^You are
to know, tint our Miuire Woulil-be w violently
licnt upon utatrimony: and nothmg, forsiiolli,
will go dovTR hut a person of rank and condi-
tinn,

Him. Ay, ay, for that piece of pride he's in-
debted to ficrmauy.

Alrt Mech. The article of fortune he holds in
utter contempt ; a f;rand alliance is lUl lliat he
Hrniits: so tliiit tjic lady has but her veins full of
hif^h-blood, he docs not care two-pence how low
iind how cuipl) her purse i<t.

SiM. But, iiiadnm, won't it be difficult to meet
with a suitiililo subject * I l>elievc tlierc are few
ladies of f]ii!itity that

Mrt Mtrh. Uh, as to that, I nm already pro-
i-ided.

Stm. Indeed !

Sirg J/rcA. Vou know my niece, DoUy f

Sin*. Very well.

Mr$ ^trrk. What think you of bcr?

Sim. Of .Mt$s Dolly, fur what t

Mrt Mcch. i'oT wliat ! you are pli^iily dull.
Why, a wumnn of fashion, you duuce !

Sim. To be sure, Mis^ Dolly is very tlcserririg,
niid lew ladies have u better appearance ; hut*
bless me, niudam, Itire (Mtople of rviik are au ff^
nemll;* known. th»t the slightest inquiry would
poison your project.

Mm Mrrh. ()h, Simon, I h^ve no fears from
thnt quarter; ttierc, I think, I am pretty wcure.

Sun. If thnt, indcL'd, he tl>e case

Mrt Mcch. In ttic tint place, Mr Fungus has
an entire rchniKe on me.

Sifi. 'Hint's ftomctiiinfu

Mrt Mi-ch. rheii, lo bafUc any idle curiosity,
we are nr>t dcrivcil fmm any of your new-faiycled
sentry, who owe their upstart nobility to your
llnrryt and Rdwnrds. No. no; we are scions
from nil older st'ick; we are the huiidied and
fortieth linral dcscendcnt from Herrulcs Alex-
ander, cnrl id' (ilcndower, prime miui>terto kmg
Malciijm the First.

Sim. (Jdso ! a qualificntjon fur a canon of
Strtisburg ! Sj then, it seems, you ore tnuw
ptnnted from the banks of tlic Tweed ; cry you
iitrrcy ! Bill how will Mt»s Dolly be able to osa-
naue Ui£ accent t

Mrt Mrth. Very well; she was two years an
•ctrcM in F^dioburgh.

.Vim TliAi's true; is the OTcnure made f hits
there beet) any iDtervtewf

486

BRITISH DRAMA.

CFoOTt.

Mrs 3/frA. Seirenil; we Imre tro dislike to
hi" I x-r9iii); cfiii't bul ovin lie t» mtJirr auri^u-
ble ; uuA as to h» (iroposals, they are uTVurcr
thilD we CQuttt [l«Mrc — Hut we ant pnitlmt Rn<l
oireftil, wy notliiii|< wiiUout the mH'* npi^rubti-
lion.

Sun. Oil, tint will l« eanlj hod.

Mrs Mech. Nut to easilr ; nnd now coincs
^our part : buL, first, huw goe« tlic world witb

Sim: Never worse ! the ten bosn of tea, utd
the cargo of bmndv, thetu peeriiis ratcnlf touk
from me in Siimpx, hits r^tiiie brt^cii my l>ack.

Mn Mt\-h. Fo<ir Simun ! whr, theu, I aoi a-
fntid tbrrc'» an lhuI ol'^our traMc?

Hhn. Ttiinlly ! for, nnw those fcllowrs have
got the Imc <'f Mnii iu their liitndA, I hare iio
cbancT to get borne, M» Mccbliu.

JKrf Mtxh, TbcDi 70U are entiretj at lei-
•urc?

Sm, Aft a Bntb turnspit In the mouth of
Jalj.

Mr* Merh. Vnii Are, then, Simnii, an rid fii-
niitysenmit in waiting hc-rc mi the lady; but,
dispatched to the north, with a view to negodate
the trt ftty, yo'i aru ju5t returned with tht- tii>lilc!
peer's resolutiao. Hrcpare you a kuiiable cqui-
patff ; I will provide you witli a couple of letters,
otie for the lover, atid otte for tlie tudy.

Sim. The coutenis i

Mri Mfeh. Oh, you may read thrm withiu ;
now, with rfgard tn any questions, I will furnish
you with ftuiiahle ai)svrer«; hut you have a biiit-
fitcr to deal withj >o your cartb wUl be easily
played.

Enter Jekkt.

Jm, Miss Dully, madam, in a hackney-coach
St c<ii-ner: may she rotne in ?

Mrt Met A. Are the nenants out of the
wav i

ien. Oh, ^e it so mtiflled up and di^cuited,
that shell run no duitgtr tnnn them.

Mtt M(cA. Be lure, keep good wntch at the
door, Jenny.

Jen. Ob, nerer fear, madam !

\Exit Jctiyt.

Mrt Mfck. Simon, tnlce thnie two letters timi
lire under the furtlK-m>ci»t cu»liiun in tite miii-
di»w : run home, p-t a dirty pair of btjots on, a
Efcat cuut, and a whip, and be here with ttjem in
half an hour at InrtheBl.

Sim. I will nul fail. But have yna no farttier
ihrectinns?

Mn Meeh. Time enoueh. I shall he in tlir
way ; for it i& me that mii»t introduce voii atK>vi.-.
\_i'.t%l ^<tMaN.] So. thinas vom now m n prettv
Ipiod train ; a few hours i> <« to \<v hoped, uill
make me easy fur life. To sriy truth, I bejiin tn
be tired of iny irvde. To be «ire, the profiti
■re (;re«l ; but then, w «re the ruk$ that i ruo :

berides my private practice bc||iiit tn be sno-
kcd. l.«ilir> ore supposed to dime ben; with
ililfereiit dt^kius titan merely to look at my
Ltmds : sortie of my be«t cuMumerm. to(i>. are p*
■ut uf my rliannel, and mann*e ibeir ntaitcn at

DC by thci: matdii. TboM asyluilUs rttcy (ire

1 •iresttftpl blow 10 my baaineM. Time hn» bmi,
>-'l»n n t:r»tl«innn wunicd a fncnd, I ronid Ufh
ply him with rlioifc in an hoMr; but the naikff
•• ^fHjiled, unit u (..itly might ai taem pradari a
h«re or a partridge us a pretty —

F.nter Dolly.

So, niece, r\re all things prepared ? hate yo* |al
the paprrs fniiu Harpy ?

Dol Hi-'ri- tbey are, madnro.
Mrs Me^:h. Let me fttv — Oh, tlie marriayr
tides for Fon{pis to ugn ! lUkve you gut the cdo>
tract about ytiu ?

T)vl. Vou know, aunt, I left it with you.

Mr$ Mtcb. True, 1 hud foreoi : bot wben ii

the 1)4111(1 that I Here ill*; thia Dolly, pi

mu4t M^i and seal before wit»e9a«.-&.

Dot. To wh«t «'iid, uuntf

Mn Mech. Only, child, « criflinit ackB«*-
ledgmeut for all the trouble I have ukm : ■&>
tie hiot Iu your husL^nd, that he may 1 twuktBl
yoor f»our aunt, for your cloatlts, bowd, li
and breeding.

Dnt. I licpe that my aunt does MM
tlial I Can ever be wanlitift

Mra Mcfh. No, my dear, not in the l«ait-
but it is best, Dolly, in order to prrvciM aO f
troftpcctioii, tliat we settle occoutitA befort yM
chanftv your cooditJoii.

DvL Dut, madam, majp q<a 1 sen the tm
tents ?

Mrs Meek. Tlie contents, lore ! of wlial tf
will that he tu you f Sign and seal, thalii^
lUHieh.

Dtti Hut, aunt, I choose to «ee what I n^

Mrt MeeM. To lee ! Mrhat, then, yot mifia
mo ?

Dol. No, inadnm ; but a liltte CButioa -

Mn Medi. Caution ! I Ierc*» ati iioptrfBU
l»isi^nt;c \ how dare you dispute inv coanvuA'
have ntrt I made you, raised >uu tram Miba^
»nd wuu't a word irom tay mo'utJi r«d«(«yM*'
gttiii }

Dol. Madnm, I— —

Mrt Merh. Aninrer mo. hnvsr. wasfOt|M
a befcenr's brat at my door ' dnl I nm, •"■'
i^DtiipiiMtinn, takr you inin tny hou%r, callyA'l
iiiom, and tpve ymi suitable brMdit^ i

Dol. Tnic, mufhim.

Mrs MrcA. And what rptnr« did fw wl*
inc ? You wai scarce cot into ynur rent*, iw ''
ward slut, but you hrouglit n-- " ^ '■ ' ' alinwi »■
htj; nit yonrselfi nnd a delip'i r ^^^0t^^

fttr it! Doctor CiiT|!;ui, Th< _ nieBio**'

that siek monkey-face makct «f CRHchvo! ^

j^OOTfc.j

BRITISH

\

ntcmal trutlrr aAer all l\\e little diti|;glc-tjtikfl
KirU of the tuwn. Oli, you low slutf b;id it beco
b; a Rendeman, it wi>uld not liave rased me;
kwt m (iihllcr !

Ditf. Fi>r llpftren'f uAc —

Mrt Meek. After tl>«t, yon eloped, cominpn-
ced stroller, and in -a couple 'if jenrs returned to
town in your urij^itui trim, witb acarcD a rag to
yoar back.

J)W. I*rajf, nwdam

Mrt Mtch. Did nut 1, ncilwitJHiaiidinE, nv
oeivc you a^ain * have ikk I loinired ntv brniu)
Tar your good ! (bund yo'i a hu^ttunH a) rich ■» a
Jew, juat brought ail ntv luatLtn 1 1 bmr, and
now yoD refuse to sign a paltry paper ?

DoL PniT. nuidam, give it me ; I will tigii, cx-
acnw, do uti that you bid ine.

hSn \Uck. YtHi w)H ^ t-m, so voa had brst.
And what 'n^ become uf the child ? have yun dune
as I DrdCTVii ?

Do}. The d<xtiir wis not at home ; but the
nurse l«fi the rhiUI in the kitchen.

Mrt ilfck. You board iK/iliiag from liim?

Dot. S'A a w(»rd.

Aln Mfch. Then he is mrdituiiiig some mi§-
ehtef, 1 wturant. Ilowcrer, let 'lur (iijihI slurs
secure u* lo-diiv, find a tiR for wKat may litipufii
Co-inorniw. It i^ n little uiilurl-y, tlii>i(>;lf, llmt
Mr I-'une;ii« has rhoeeii tin- (kx-tor lur hti* master
of music ; but. a» ^-el, be has not been here, aod,
if pomSblc, we must (H-ovent him.

£»/»• Jexhy, Attifi/jr.

Jen. Mr Funt(tn, the tallow-chnndter, tna-
fbun, is cnw>in§ the way; sliall 1 lay you arc at
botne^

Mrt Mffh. lib hfvrtber hitth servants enough,
let ikMUf (if them annwcr, Hide, Onlly. | fjjVMnf
I>OLLT tvtd Jemny — vne katxk at tht ,ioor,]—
Ay. Dial's the true tap ut* the trader : ililt uld
brother nf our^, ihuugh, i« ^moky and shrewd,
and, ibnueh BU mill, a M-tiNibU- rcllMw ; wu inn>-t
i;uunl ii£i)iii>t Mm: il' he ;;l'I9 hut an inkliii?, biu
the ^listitcM vi!>|)ii-tim, our project is marred. —
{^A nOKt .I'Ukaut.] VV'lint the deuce i» tlie mat-
tJtrf An 1 lite, A wfuabhie between him and La
Flrur, th«* rrcnch toutimm we hired this nmni-
inti; ! Thu may make mirth ; I'll luten a lit-
lis. [Rctirn.

Eater Ma Is&Ar Frxauft, driUng in Ls
ri.r.uiu

■ I. F*in. Whfil, i> there nobndy in the limisc
* dMBt can Bire me tin answer ? w here's my Lro-

tbaTf v>m ra»rat ?
^ Iji Klcur. Je rCrntcmi pat.

■ J. Fhh. I*sw ! wlntr i\tf dctil LS tbnt? Answer

■ jva or nu ! i» my t>rniher at Imme^ «lfMi't bbni^:
up your sh-mlders at me, you— Oh, here comet

ttmiitfiial being I

DRAMA.

Enter Moa Mccntiff.

Madam Mechlin, hnw furca itf thin here Ian*
thoni-inwred mseal froii'i gitc me an amwer, and
indeed, would «rurce kt inc into tite house.

l-M Fleiir, C'ctt grot burgeoii QjkH tme tmfQgt
dc diable.

Mrs Mevh. Fy done ! cVtf It fitre 4e Mtm'
lieur.

Lm Urur. Le/rttr .' man Dteu .'

/. Fun. What is all this^ what tin devil lin|p
is the fellow a-talking^

Mri Meek. 'Yhn i* n fontman from Fmncfi
tlmt your brolhcr has taken.

/. Fun. From Framre ! and is that the best nf
his linrdinir? I tlinujjht we had lautsht tbera lict-
tiT mmiuers nbroitd, than to come lierc and iiH
suit us At home. J^ple make such a mut abnuc
smugeling thotr Frenrliilfed f^noti* ; their men d« «
us mure mibrbicf. If we could but hinder the '
iiuportiiiE of tliem-

Mrt Mcrh. Ay, you ara a true Briton; I sea
I bat, Mr lianc

/. Fun. X warrant tne : Is brotfaer Z«ch»7 iH
home?

3fr« Mech. Above st«ir% sir.

f F«». Any cuinpiiny with him?

Mrt Meth. Not nny to hinder your visiL \m
Fleur, auTrrs /n futrtr.

I. Fmn. (>et alon^. Tou — Mrs Mechlin, ronr
sennnt. [Erit Mas .^i^CMl,I^.] I can't ^ink
n Nat the devil miikes vuor i^unlitj sa fond nf ttm

moiisieurv; f-tr nty purt, I don't see- March

and be banjrod to ion ynu ytoty-faced — -

i Exeunt I. lasers und l^ Fitra.
. Come, Dolly, ynu may now Uj^
pear.

EnUr Jexnt.
Jen. Mr Pudua-i.y, ma'am, the Spitnlfields
wrnver; he has lieen wHitini; this hour, aad says
be bus sntiH: jwtiple ai limye — -

Mrt .Ur<'A. Let lii'M enter; in a couple of
minutes I'll fulluw yuu, Dully.

[Exit jEssr.

Rnfrr Pipit »sot.

Mrt Mrch. Mr I'ndunsnv, you may ktad yoiir-
sr>lf IwHne with tbiise ailkt; tliey won't do for my
iimrVil.

Pfflrf. Why, wlitit^ the matlrr, madnra?

jifri iUr»A. Mailer! yon »"■ n [in'tty fctlow
indeed ! vou npr< a tradesman ! 'tit tutlky I know
you; thing* muht have been wunc ; let us wttte
iiccotmis, Mr I'aduawy ; youM see no more of
my money.

Pad. I shoU be sorry for that, Mrs McrltHn.

Mrs Mrfh. Stirry ' answer me m»f unescimi ;
All) mil I ihr bc%t customer llut ytHi ever hndf

I itii. I onire» it.

Mrt Mtck. lla^e 1 not mor^n^J my practou*

soul, br sweftriog to my quality^customcn thai
^the ttuff from your loomt was tbe produce of

Pad. Granlcd.

Afrs JWrcA. AntI, unlcM ihat bod been belicv-
ttl, could Tou tiavf juAd tlicm a ynrd, oay a noil i

Pud. I believe nuc

Jfrj lUrrA. \'ery well. Hid not, sir, I pro-
cure yoo more moncv for your curM:d gtxMis,
when sold as the imtnufaclurc of rraiirc, tbmi, as
nivre Enghsh, Uiey could hare ever produced
you?

Pad. I never denied it.

ilfri Mech. Then, are not yon n pretty fcltoiv,
to blow lip und ruin my reputatioa nt once?

Pad. Me. mndnm !

Mr$ Me<h. Yes, you.

Pad, As Itow ?

Afrs Mech. Did not you toll mc these pieces
of silk were entire, and Uic only ooea you had
mtdc of that pattern ?

Pad. I did.

3frs Mech. Novr mind. Last Monday I left
them as iust landed, urxin a pretence to secure
them from seizure, at tne old coimiesa of Fur-
below's, by whose means I wiis sure, at my own
price, to %c.t rid of tlicm bnrh ; nud who should
oonte in last night nt the hall at the Mnnsioii-
hoiiM*, where my lady unluckily hnpprncd to be,
with a fulUuit of thr blue palleni upim her back,
but Mrs Ucputv Uuwlus, dizcned out liLu a
duchess ?

Pad. Mrs Deputy Dowlnss 1 In it poiubia f

Mr* iUch. There is nn denyini; the fact; but
that was not all. If, indeed, Al rs Deputy had
behaved like a gentlewoman, nnrl swore ihcy had
bccD scot ht-r from Pail's why, there the ttmis
would bave died : but see what it is to have to
do with Tncchanio; ttie fool onnrd »he had
them from you I I bhould be glad to hcc any of

ray customers at a loss far a lie; but thaw
trumpery traders, Mr Paduasoy, youll nsrcr
gain any credit by tiieni.

Pad. This munt be a trick of my wife's; I
know the wotrwH are mtimate ; but this |Hece of
inletli^uiicc will luake atiot house. None of tnr
fault, iudeed, Mrs Mechhn ; 1 hope, loa'aai, thu
wuu't HLikc anr diflerence?

Mrs Mfch. 'Ditfifcncc ! I don^ believe I ifaall
l>c able (o smugftle a f;own for you these u
months. What is in that bundle r

Pad. Sunic India Iiaudkcrcbicfs, that you pro-
mised to procure of a aupercargo at WoolwiiA
for lur Thutnai Calico's lady.

Mrs Mech. Are you pretty forwmrd with the
lic;ht spripied waistcoats from Italy ?

Pad. They will be out of tbe loom in a

Jlfri Mich. You need iwt put any Geoo*.
TCts io hand till the end of autumn ; but yoa
may make me immediately a fresli »artniciit of
(oTc^px ribbons for summer.

Pod. Any other commands Mrs McohlinJ

Mr$ Mech. Notftl pre»ent, I think.

Pad. 1 wish you, tnadnm, a very good
ims.

Mr$ Mcrh. Mr Padiiasoy! Lord. I bad likr
lu have fnn:iit. You mu«t write an ftooaymov
letter to the cuslnm-housc, and send meioBK
old silks Id be sciicd ; I uiutt treat the townwtllb
a boulirc: it will make a Hne pnragrafJi farih>

fi.ipcrs, and at tlie same time advertise ibc pvl^
ic where Mich thin|:<i may he bad.
Pad. I bhan't fail, modaio.

[Exit PADtUOr.
JIfn il/rrA. Who says now, that I am aiX «
fnend to my country? 1 ihuik the Sodetyforda
EncouniecHient of Arts shnuld voce lue a pre-
mium. I am lure I nni one of the greateitca-
courager^ of uur unii luanolBctureK.

[£/ir MrsMdciut.

ACT 11.

SCENE I.

Zacdary FuAits, Isaac Fvxocs, and
Mns MccuMS.

Z. Fun, BaOTHiii Itianc, you are a blockhead,
I tell you. But lirst answer IDC this: Cmi know-
ledge do a mnn any harm ?

/ >*»rt. No, surety ; what is befitting a mnn
for to Icaro.

Z. Fun. To lejirn ! and how should you know
wh:it is bctlttinf: a centlemnn to lenrn? siick to
your trade, Muster Tnllow-chRudler.

/. Fiin. Now, hrotlwr iiiicharj", can you say
in your conscifocc, as lu>w it is dccvnt (o he-
learning to dance, when you ha' almost lost the
utte of your le^s?

Z. FuH. }jiii the use of my legs I to sec but
the malice of men ! Do but ox Mn J^Lcchlin ;

now, ron'ara, does not Mrs Dukes My, tliat, na>
fttderi'iti my time, 1 iMve made a wumlrrful pre-
press?

/. Fun. Youriime. brotlier Zac '

Z. J'un. Ay, mv tiiiie, brt^hcr Imtte, Wli*,!
ha'nt been at it piiMUiic a '-oupitr of momh*; i^
we have at our tchoul tun nidrnncn and ■ ^^
ieauL fit law, that were full half u jcat \»tht
they cnvtUI ^ct out of haiid,

Sim Mech. Very Iroe, sir.

Z, Fun. 'Hmtc, now 1 Mrs MecMlttCKfPt^
it. And pray, mn'xin, tUnii nut usutcr fl**^
that, of my ngc, I am tlic tuusc bopeAtl xW*
he lia»?

Mrs Mech. 1 cnirt but aay, Mr luar, tkt
the 'xtuire lias made a most prodigious i>ifr.A-
nicnt :

Z Fun. Do you bor tltat.^ I wad we U

boc k tit, t would Khow you what I could do :
One, two, thrc«, ha ! One, two* three, ba ! There
ore rmnes ami sinltinp !

3/ri J/ecA. Av, many, ni light as ncorl.

Z. Fun. An't it i Wliy, before next wiivtrr ii
orer, he fays hc1l fit me for dancing in |iublic ;
and who knows but in Lent yuu inny we tnc
amhie at r ridotto tvilh an opcrn-siiigcrr

Uri Meeh. And 1 warrant he acquiu hitnsclf
as well oi the lK?%t.

/• Fan. Mcrcjf on me ! and, pray, brother,
that thing like a sword in vour hand, what may
(be use of that implement be?

Z. FuH. This ? oh, this is a foil.

/. Fun. A foil ?

Z. Fun. Ay, a little instrament, by wliich we,
who are gentlemen, arc iustruclcd to kill one
tinother.

/. Fun. To kill! Marry, heaven forbid! I
hope you have no such bloody inieutions. \Vl>v,
bnitlier Zac, you nas used to be a peaceable
man.

Z. Fun. Ay, that was when I wns a paltry tnc-
cW^nir, and afmid of the law ; but now I nm
another^gucM ptnun; I have been in campR,
CBQtoons, and intrenctimcnts ; I buvc ninrchcd
over brid^ and brcacbc* ; 1 have seen the Kzell
and Wezcll ; I'm got a» rich »•( u Jew ; luiit if
any man dares to atilront tnc, I'll let him know

»that my trade hn» lieeo liftliting.
/. tun. Rich ns n Jew,! Ah, Z:
VOtI had nut liHil niiiirKi>i^triii>hK Ir

Zac, Znc ! but if
you had nut had aiiuthci^pur» trade tlian (i);hl-
tue, I doubt wlit-thcr yuu nould have returned
altnKcther so rich: but now you hiive got ull iliis
wcfdlh, why not Mt down and cnjiiy \i in qiiirl ^

Z, Pun. Unrk ye, luiac f do you purtend lo
know life? are you acquainted with the beaux
(i*cs|)iriis of the a^e ?

i. Fun. 1 don't understand you.
Z. Fun. No, I believe not; then how »hou1d
you know what helnnj:s tn gentility?

i. Fun. And why ntit 3s well lu tou, brotiicr
2mc ? I hope 1 am every whit as well Iforn ?

Z- Funr Ay, Ikmc, but the breeding is all :

•oiuider 1 bavc been a grutlemnn ubuve five

,ytttn and three <|UBrter», and 1 think should

snow a little what belongs to the business; bev,

If n HeHdni ?

Ain Meeh. Very true, sir.
8*. Fun. And as lo this foil, do you know,
laaac^ in what the art of fencing consists ?
/. Fun. Ilowshould I?
£. Fun. Why, it is short; there are but two
Tvim* : the first is to cive your antagonist as
taany thruitt as you can ; the second, to be care-
ful »nd recrive none yourself.

J. Fun. But Ikiw m this tu be done?

S. Fun. (Mi, easy vnuu^h : for, do you see, if

you can hut divert your adversary'^ point from

tlw line nf vnur l>ody, it is impotutibie he (rvrr

bitould hit yuu; and idl this is d»ae by n little

of the ^^^ijt, ciilter this way or liiat way.

But I'll show you*: John, bring nie a foil. Mn
Mcchlii), it will be worth your ubserviiie;. Here,
lirolhrr hnnc [Oft'fri him oJ'oiL

I. Fun. Not I.

Z. Fun. These boor^reois nre so frirtttful ! Mrs
Mechlin, will vou, nta'am, du me the favour to
push at mo a [itilc ? Mind, brr>ther, when bhe
thrusts at me in cnrte, I do so ; and when she
pufthes in tierce, I do so; and by this means a
man is sure to avoid being killed. Uut it may
not be amiss, brother Isaac, to ^ivc you the pro-
gress of a r^lar quarrel ; and then you will see
what sort of a thinf; a gentleman is. Now I
bnuc been told, d'vc iiee, brother I»aac, by a
friend who has n regard for my honour, thaC
captain Jenkins, or tlupkina, or Wilkins,or what
captain yuu pirusc, has in public company called
me a cuckold

1. Fun. A oii'ltohl ! But hmr can that be?
because why. brother /ac. you bcn't married.

Z. Fvtt. Burns I nmju^t Koin;; to be married,
that may xrry wrll happen, you know.

Mrs Mech. True.

Z. Ftin. Yes, yes, the thing is nntnral ennngh.
Well, tlie capiaiu has said I am a cuckold. ITpnn
which, tlie hrst time 1 set eves on capt.'\in \Vil-
kins, either at V'uuxhall or nt lUuiclach, I accost
hiin in n courteous, s£entrcl-like manner.

/. FuH, .\nd that'll more than be merits.

2. Fit». Vour patience, dear Isaac — in u cour-
teous, ^nitlcman-lUiC manner; cn[)tDin Hopkins,
your servauL

/. Fun. Why, you called him but now, caj^
tain Wilkins !

/. Fun. Psha ! You blockhead, t tell you tliQ

nainc docs not signify nothing Vour senant;

shall I crave your ear for a momeat ? Tlie cap- ,
t-iiii politely ri^plics Your commands, Rood Mr <
Fungus ? Then we walk side by side — ^om^ here,
.VIrs Mechlin — {Tf>ey ualk up nnd i/uttn.] — for
••oinc lime as civil u can be. Mmd, brotiwr
l>aiic.

/. Fun. T do, I do.

Z. Fun. Hey! no, t'other wde. Mrs Mechlin
— ihnt's riftht — 1 lieur, cnptain WUkiits

/. Fun. I kiww It was Wilkins.

7.. Fur. Zounds ! iHuar, be iiuiat — Wilkins,
that yuu have taken some liberties abuul, and
concerning of me, which, dainiiie, I dun'c under-
stiintl

/. Fun, Don't swenr, brother Zacharv.

Z. Fun. Did ever inurial hear the like of thif
fellow !

I. Fun. But you nro grown such a reprobate
since vou wtnt to the wnr%.

Z. Fun. Mrs Mechhn, stop the toncue of that
hliM^kbead ! whv, dunce, I am epcnkiitg bf rule,
and Mnt Mechlin can tell you that duels and
damnic's po always together.

jWri Mrc/i. it, always !

Z. Fun. Which, damme, I diKi'tnnderstaiwl. —
ijbcilica Willi ynu, cries the captain! where.

440

BRITISH DRAMA,

[FOOTB.

when, inH in what roaniwr? Lut Friday night,
I in minp^iuv at the Sc Altiin'si you calloil roe a
buck ; aua inurruvcr said, lliat mv horns were
Cialted. Now, air, I kiKiw very well whiU was
, your mcmniiw by thsi, and thcrtfore dciniincl <•&-
l^tutactiniu Thac, lir, is ivlut I i)i>ver donj lo n
I A-nilviiiflri ; but m tn you, Mr Futtfrus, I can't
rcuuM'Ut to givo yuu t^t rank. \ltm, sir! I)u
Ejrou deny ray gentility' Oh, thnt alVrunt mutt lie
rftiiswercd this instant— Draw, air ! Now push,
Ijflri Mechlin! — [TAry ^/eiir*.]— There I pmrry

[licrcc; there I parry carte; there I parry

[ 41uld, huld ; hafc a cure ; zooks ! Mn McchlJn !
/, Fuu. Ha> ha, ha ! I think yuu have mcl
[ with yourinutch; woil pukhtd, Mn Mcclilin.

Z. Vua, Ay, but instend n( pusliiiig in tjcrre,
I she puihcd nie in rarie, i^nil caim- v) lliick wiUi
her tUru^tti, llmt ic »as nut in iiuturc tu fmrry
them.

J. Fan. Well, well, I am fully conrinced 9f
ryour skill. But I think, bivitJicr /no, yim hinii-d
an intention of marryit^; i* that your design F
Z. Fun. Undmibcedly.
X Fnn. And wluinF
2. J*!*!!. Why, tiiis evenini;.
/. Fun. So tuddcn ! and pray, ia it b Bocrct r
to whom i
Z. Fun. A secret \ no; I am proud of the
^ match; khc brim;* me all that I want; her veins
I full of good bloud ; such a fnmily ! luch an alli-
ance! nxik*, ktie ha:i a pi-digrte a> long aft the
Mall, hrotlifr Isaac, with larj;e rrceinncach aide,
•Oil all the boughs hiHckd with lurd» !
f. Fun. lh\\. tiai the Indy no name }
Z. Fun. Name! ay, such a name ! Lord, we
hare nnthirig like it in Ijtndtm I none u( yuur
Hunted litde dwarfish M<inU of one syllable;
yniir Wntw, and your Putts, nnd your Troiu ;
, thia rumbles tliruugh thn throat like a can uiih
broad wheels. Mn Mechlin, you can pronounce
it better than me.

ilfrj JlfT^-A, Jjidy Sachari»sa MacLirkincroft.
Z. fun. Kirkincroft ! titere are a ironUiful of
syllables fur you I Linently descended fram llcr-
culcs Alcxatulrr t'harieujapne Ilannibnl, carl of
Glendoiver, prime minifttei tokiii); Mnlroliii 1.
i. Fun. And are all the parlie* agreed f
Z. Fun. 1 can't eay luit^* all ; fur the ri^ht ho-
nourable peer, that i» to be my i>npu, fwho, by
die by, i* as proud astlw de^il) has flatly renonrv-
ced the allinnce; calU roe here in bin letter Ple-
beian; and mys, if we hare any chihlreit, rhey
witl turn out very httlc better than pye-bnlils.
J. Fun. And what does tlie gentleworaiin say?
Z. Fun. The gentlewoman ! Oh, the ^entle-
ITDman, who (between ourselves) is pretty near as
high a> her father — but, however, my person has
proved too bard for Iter pride, and 1 take the af-
lair to be m ^(KhI as concluded.
X. Fun. It i; resolved?
Z. Fnn. Fixed.
i. Fun. I aai<orry for it.

Z.Fm. Why to? Come^oomr, bratfavr Iimc

don't be uneuy ; I have a shrvwd gueaa M
grievance ; but though you mmy not be
tu !iee lady ScnicnrissK at lirst, yet who ki

bcforti long, I may have in teres I enouKb wiUl

to bring it about f and, in the mean time, yM
may dine when iinn will with the steward.

/. Fun. You are eireedingly kind.

'/.. Ftin. Mr« Mechlin, you don't tliiok nty lady
wi I yninmv it?

Mrs MccU. By no nwnnt; it it won4etfnl,
considering her rank, how mild aod oondcMeod'
in» she is ; why, but vcitcrdaT, Wy* ***'
to ntr, thon^h, .Mr^ Mecbhn, it cnQ*t be su
thnt I should admit atiy of the Fui^ua i
prcwMtce

'/,. FuH. Nu, no, to be nire; ihA «t finrt, m I
Miid.

Afrj AfcrA. Yet his brother, or any ochcr re-
lation, may dine with tlie servants every ihiy.

Z. Fun. l>o you bear, Isaac? tbrreV vokr
true, inherent nobility, v> humble and afTabiv !
b«it pooplf of rL>Hl rank never have any pndc ;
thnt i« only for npftttirts.

X. Fmb. Wond(-rf»Uy ftntcvHis ! but here, la^
thcr Zac-, you mistake me i it ts not for myiciri
am sofpy.

Z. Fun. Wham then f

J. F'uH. For you. Don't you think tbat jmt
wife will de-tpiM: you?

Z. Fuu. No.

/. Fun. Can you suppoie that you will &rc »■
gftlier a utoiitb r

Z. F»n. Yes.

/. Fun. Why, can you bear to arnlk afaool ja»
own houie like a pdi/y dept ndniu f

Z. Fun. No. '

/. Fnn. To ha%e ynnrselt' and your orders OBfr
teinned by your svrvanta?

Z. i>'iiR. No.

/ Fun. To see yoor property devoond 1^
VOUr linly's btf>|ii;iirly cousin*, w|i», nolwitfartaDir-
iiig, won't vou<:b9iii'c you n nod f

Z. F»n. No.

/. Fun. Can yoo be blind at her b«ddie|, m
at licr sending, come nl her callitig, dioe bf JW*
self when t>\tv has bcttcrutost -^"inpttny. ■ml^'f
sis niEhiH a-weck in the garret?

•/.. Fun. No.

/. Fun. Why, will you dare ro diiobcyi km
(he impudence io dispute the suvcr«icp wiBa'
plenMire of a lady like her?

£. Fun. Ay, uiarTy will L

I. Fun. And don't yoo expect » whol# <!■ ''
Amirew Ferrarus, with tbcir oakci) poJiunyMT
throat ?

Z. Fun, Xo.

i. Fun. Then you don't know half yoo *■'
have to go ihniugh.

Z. ftJi. 1/Kjk you, hmtlier, I know «ki) ^
would be at; vou don\ mean 1 •boutd OMirstf
all.

FOOTE.]

I

I
I

I

I

L Fun. Lifleed^ brollw Zacb.if7, you wrons
me; I ihoutd, vmh plciuure^ mx you eqitally
nwtclied, that ia, to one of yoar owu i-aok ntitl
coodttion.

Z. Ftia. You would? I doa'c doubt it; but
that ift a pleasure you never will have. Look
ymt, IniK, 1 b«ve made up my mind : ii i» a !»■
dj I lilcB, and a Indy I will bave ; and, if ytiu wiv
any -nore, I'll not be contented with that, for,
tbiinOie, I will marry a ductKM !

Enter L& Flcua.

La Fleur. Lx maitre pour donner ^tJoqumcc.

Z. Fun. W'hntdoe* ihf poppy sav, UraMecb-
lio } for, you Lnuur, I can't poric vnus.

Mr» JjccA. fbc gentleman from the city, that
tt lo raake ypu a speaker.

Z. Fun, Odtook;) ! a special fine fellow ! let's
bave him.

&In Mech. Foj/d U* entret.

{Exit LaFlkur.

/. Fan. BrotJicr, as you are btiNy, I will aXv
noother

Z. FuH. No. no, this is the fuu-^t feNnw of all ;
il is he riial is to make tiic a nuui ; and twri'i.-,
brother? if I should chaoco tj> rise in tha ktaii.-,
uii iDore words — v<>iir btitiiios^s h doito.

X FuH. Whatf I reckon tome meuiber of por-
Itament?

Z. FuH. A member ! Lord help t<hi. hrotbcr
laaac I this mut i& a whole MinalL' ImnH'll'. Why,
il is the famous oratjooer that has published Lla;-
boob.

I. F««. What! Mr Gruel?

Z. Fun, The same. #

i. i'ttJt. Ve^ I liare seen his aamc iu iIk-
new^

Z. Fan. [Fib koowIcUt;e is wuinli-rful ; he hat>
tnld ne Midi secrets ! why, do you know. I«ac,
bjr i*bat laeaas 'txM we •tpeak ?

I. Fun. Speak ! Why, we speak with our
IImmiUm,

/. Fha. No, we don't.

J. Fui. No!

Z. Fvn. No. lie says we ipcak by means of
tbe tongue, the tcvtii, atid the tKmat ; and, witlw
vat them, we should only bi'llow.

1. Fin. Brit surrly tbp mouth

Z. Fun. The moulli, I icll you, ii littlr or no-

lltiffig ; aoly juii u amty for tlie air to pa<<6

/. Fun. [iitk-ad !

2. Fun. Hint's all; aud wlicn the cavity is
amisU. hiile vnimis will oone out ; wbeii larce,
ihc greal ones urticeed : observe, now, in whis-
din^ and ba«lii^— [ir^is//» and bnuU.] — Do
jQ(i «er * Oh. he 14 a miractilous man !

/. Fna. Rut uf whnt n^ is all this ?

Z. FuH. But 'tis knowledge, aa'tit? And of
mhat signification is tliat, you fool f And then ai
CD use. *<hr, he can Kiiikc in« speak in toy mao-

ner he ptentrs ; as a lawyer, a mcrdmnt, a ooun-
try Keiiiit:iiiiui ; whatever the subject re4iuina— ^
But here be is.

Enter Mil Oanii.

Mr Gruel, your servant; I haie been kolding
fi>rih in vnur praise.

QrueL 1 make no doulit, Mr FutiEus ; bat la
your declamation, or recitation [as Qoinulian
miin! pmpcrty terms it), I ^all be iralL'litPd for
much fatiire praiie, iiuumuch as tlie reputaiioa
v( (he scholar floes (as I may say) conKer, nr ra-
tlter, an it were, reflect a marvefluus kind ot' lu»'
Ire on the fame of the master himself.

Z. Fun. There, Isaac, didst ever Itea.* tbe
like ? Ho tulkji juNt as if it wcro all cot of a
b-Mik : What wuuld yuu give to be able to utter
sucli words ?

/. Fitm And whnt should I do with them? '
Tliem hutiday terms would not pas» in my slwip ;
there's no buying and scUiog with tbera.

GntH. Y'Kir obten-atioti is pithy ami pcrt>>
ncnL Oitfi-rciil Millions difiurent idirMns dc-
luaud ; ptlished periods accord ill witli the
ini>uths u( niediawia; bat m that (ribs is pet^
mitted tu circulate a faawr kimi of coin, for iha
case Had convenietKre of iaferi'ir traffic, so it is
iitiliil^d with a veniaruliir i^r iicioii^iultpir phnw-
seolo^y, to carry ou tlicir interlucutury omimerce.
But I doubt, sir, 1 soar abore the region oi y<Mir
Lomprehension ?

/. Fun. Why, if you would come down a step
• <r two, I can't »ay but I should uodersund yoa
till; better.

'/.. Fun. And I, tno,

GrueL Theniutlie faaiiliar I fall : iftbegen-
iloman has any uinbitiou U> shine at a vestry, n
rnmoion-liall, or even a cunviviut club, Icaosu|>-
ply him with ample ma£t:riftl&.

/. Fun. No, I ha^c no such desire.

Gnt/l. Xi)t 111 ioSL* liiiie — ymr hmiher here
for Such I tiiid tlie ftenclcman is;, in other respects
a common man tike yourself —

Z. Fun. No better.

Gruel, Oliserve )u>w altered by reeans of mj
nrt ! arc Tnu prepared in the speech on the peat
importance oi trade ?

I. Fun. Pretty wdl, I Wreve.

Gruel. Let vuur jtciticuUui'^its be chasta^ and
your muscular movcjactits oniwiicab

Z. Fun. Never fear

Enter JsaaT, and wHUpert Mka MKcnirn.

Mrs Mechlin, youll stay?

Mn Mack. A little busioets ; til return in an
insunt

[Brif Ma-s MacK.

Orufl. A little here to the left, if you pleue,
sir; Uierc you will only cai<-'h his pnitilc — that's
rigbt^now Ton will Itairp the full fone iA Iuk
face; one, two, Utrce ; now, uiTyuu g^ !

Z. Fun. Wliftn I consider the vast importance
of thi» doy's (leli*i>e ; when I rcvttUc the vunmis
vKiNijtmJcii thill iliit M)il hiu- luktuitit'd ; when 1
ptiiider wluit our puintcd |iru)icoitorf were, and
what Me, thrir civllizfd succcssnrs arc : when I
reflect, (hat tliry lied un crmb-apples aitd ctiev
ouctt

Gntfl. Punnts, pood sir, if you pleiuc.

Z. Fhm. Tun arc ri|^ht — crub-upple» and pie-
fiuU; uiid that we toast nn ^recopease niid im
cuslarHs : wh^n I trare, in the rrrnrding hi»toric»l
pr4;e, that their R-iodii n,me thciu mitiiinp hm
fntK», ntid now know we have fi*h bv Innd-i ar-
rio^e, 1 am loot in anin/eini'iit nt liw. pmdt^iuu^
power of coinnicrcv. IIiul, cummerce ! duugh-
tcr of iitdiistrj', consort to crpdii, parent of opii-
leiice, full Siberia lilirrtv, and great^i^niodmolner
to the art of iiuvi^iion —

/. Fun. Why, thia centtewoinan has a pedi-
gree as [(ing an your wife's, brother Zac !

Z. Fun. i'nthce, Iiuitc, he auict; urtofnavi*
garion — a — u — vii;itatiuu — Zuoks ihat fellow has
put ine rpiite out!

Gruef. It nutuers not; this day'n pcrfunnaiice
1ia!> lorccly fulfilled your yesterday's proniise,

Z. Fun' Rut 1 hit'n't half dune, the beU is to
oine; let me jti^t ^ive him that partulyiut tunv

peiES for tlie »l«*u(!;hs, tlie mires the nits, the

iinpasMhlc hopfi, that the languid, but gentrouh
tteed travelled thmi^h ; he now pricks up his
can, he itei^ hs, be eantcr?, he capers through a
wlule n^iuti of turn-pegs.

EHter Mrs Mcculik.

Mr» AfffA. Ytnir riding-nmstcr is hclow,

Z. Fun. Gadso ! tljcn here wc must end. —
You'll (larrlmi me, iiood Mr Gruel; fur ua I
want to be a fiiii^bcd :>enllciiiaa as suoii ns I
can. it is imposAille for me to stick long tu any
one thing.

OrurL Sir. thonph voiir exit is rather abrupt,
yoi the iitulliplicity ol your uvncnlioii> do (as I
may sayj in Mime moiunn- cicnlrirc the otherwise
niortal wouihI ou lliis occaiBion sustained by de*
COfUIU.

Z. Fun. Cicatrize \ I could hear hini all day.
He is a wonderful man ! Well, Mr liruel, tu-
morrovr we will at it ocaia.

Gruel. You will fiito nic prompt at yoursliglit-
c»t I'olitton.

Z- Fun. I wish, brother Isaac, I could hare
staid; yuu should have heard uie uraiioo away,
like a lawyer, about plcadm^js and preudcnt*) ;
but all in guod umc.

[JSxi* Z. Fun.

Tklrs \fech. This gcolleman, sir, will gain yuu
TJSt crediL

Gruel. Yes mndam, the cnpabilitie^ of the
fcotleiiuiii. I confers, are enonnoun; and iis tJi
you I QUI indebted for this pruiiiisniti pupit, vou
wiU permit me to expunge the obligation by nu

[FoOTK.

imtanmncous and crutis lerture uo that speocs
•il rtuqurnrc porulinr lu ladies

Mri Mfih. Oli* ur, I have ao tort of ocn-
■«ioii —

Craft. As to thit biped, man (for aoditdc-
sigo him to bej, a male ur mwtculine uuuioer be>
longfr—

AIrt ^tn■fl. Any other time, gpoH Mr f truef.

Gmti So, to tfmt biped, woman, she pnniri-
paimg iif liis general nature^ ihe wonl knma, m
IjUin, beiit); promiscuuusly u»cd as wamao v
man

j|/ri J/rrA. For IIcaTcn's Mkfr—

Gruel. Hilt being ca»t in a more tesder nd
delicate mould —

Mit Mcch. Sir, I have twenty people iu *•«-

'"S~ ^ . . -

Gruel. The foft, suppliniit, uuiouatiag |t»-

cea —

Mrt Mech. I most innitit —

Gruel. Do appertain fas I may say) in a tDote
peculiar or more particular aiauucr —

JI/m 3/cf a. Nay, ilien —

Gruel. Ilcr raujk in the order uf entitle*^

Mrt Mfch. I must thrust you oui uf my bone.

Gruel. Not calliu'^ her forth —

Jl/ri Meeh. Was there erer sudt « —

[I'utMtH^hmmt.

JZe-enfer Grcku

Gruel. To ihwe rmtrtent, haavdoiHa «d{a
I lunv siv) |terdnu» c<iiiillrt:s which ao oAva —

JlJrt ilrck. Get down »tair\ and be buft^
to you ! — [Futhei Mm ou(.] — "iticrc he gocstist
live, fiVn the top I'l the buttmn ! I hope I bm\
dime him a iniscnief : You nrii'l hurt, Mr Grwfll
\u. all's safe; 1 liear bun ituiiig ou nith bi
speech ; an Mn{)rrtineiit poppy 1

/. Fun. Impertiiteut indeed ; I wnndev iB
tluHte people don't turn your henil, ]Vlrs Itcrif
I in.

i\fri Meeh. Oh, I am pretty well uvedtnlbaa
Rut wfi^ comes here ? Mr Imbc, if von will iltf
iiit» the ne\t room, I have Miiui-ihing toootuBt-
uicate that well Ucseivea vour ati«:titiiitk

[ExUlTit-

Enter Stuaji.

Sim. I)r CtitciJt nt the ftx^t of the ttah^
All* Mei/t. The devil Ite is ! What cmbR
hmucht hiiii III tbis liiiu: of day f WmHi fmmik
thai iiubiKly riHiies op nliilst be is here.— r£nf
SiM.j — I hope he hiB not heard of the preft} pee-
sent we seut htm to-dayf

£ara-DRCATfltrr.

Dr Cat. Mndnm Mechlin, your hufiibk. I
have, utadam, received a cuuple' of cwttfliimsU
from your muiuiua this uiurnijig i ow I v^

FOOTE.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

.443

irotn a lodxer of ymira; Mother, I presume,
froin roar mcce; but fur tbe Uat, I rmtlter t>up-
pOM I Hill irHlebii^ lit rnii.

Mft Mtvh, Mc! Indeed, tt'ictor, you are wide-
ly miitakcri : 1 nnsurir you, »ir, since your buw-
ncs* broke out, I tuvc ncTcr *et ejv% of her
unce.

Dr Cat. Tlien I am falsely informed.

Mrs UerA. But, atter all, you ruu>>t own it i>.
bat wttat yoii ticsorvc: 1 woiutvr, doctor, you
<laD*t leave of ihcw irickn.

Ih- Cat. VVIiy, what can 1 do^ Mn Mecliliit^
Wy ctwiitiiiition re(]iiirc* it.

Mrt Atech. Imleed I 1 Ktunild not hnre thought
IL

Dr Cat. Titen tlio dear little devils ore bo dc^-
perntciy I'»«id.

Ulrt Mech. Without doubt

l)rC-<ii. And for frolic. Ilirtation, diligence,
drCM, and addn:«>

Mr§ Mrch. To be turp,

l>rCtf/ K'lr wh:il yoii call jennine ffnllaiitry.
few tneii, I Diitter nivMHf, will br fiiuiid (Imt ran
laatLh we.

Mn Mfch. OH, that'f a point givwi up.

Jh- Cat. IlnrLV, Wolly Mecbrin ; let me pe-
fiih, rhihrl, voii Inok di^mely to-day,

Mn Mec/i. Indred !

Dr C^t. Itot timl 1 hare ttro or three a0iiin
on mf htind«, I shnutd be po»itively tempted to
trifle- with tbce a hulo.

Mrt .Urni. At, but, doctor, consider T am not
of a trifling age; it would lie only losini; your
tinw.

Or C«t. fla, 90 coy ! But a-propos, Molly.
thi* Jodtccr of yours; who is In-, nnn what dues
he want?

Bin Mech. Vou have heard of the great Mr
Fundus ?

/>- Cat. Well !

Mr* Mech. Reinjt informed of yMir skill and
«bilitH;4, ho has *ent fur yoo to teach hitn ti> >iiii».

ZV Cat. .Me letich him lo *n>t ! What, docs
iha tCiMiiiilrrl inran lo ntirniit inef

Mn UtecA. Affront vou!

Dr Cat. Why, don't you know, child, that I
Itave quitted thiit paltrv profcyfion ?

MriAtah. Not I.

Dr Cnt. Oh, eiKirely rcnoanccd it.

Mn Meek. Then what nuiy y^u follow at pre-
acnt?

Dr Cat. Me! Xothitig; I nin a port, rav
dtar.

Mn MecL A imet *

Dr Cat. A piHt. Tlicmtwes; yna know 1
always fond of ihe ladies: I snppo^ you
beard of ShAkc*[)p«rp, niid Muulwdl, of
Brown, :ind nl Milton and liudibras^

JUri Mtrh. I liave.

Dr Oti. 1 shnll hlut nil their taurel*. bv Gad !
I have just firen th<.> puhlir n hi<itr, but there's*
bcUy-t'ull fur iixui lu niy larder at boiTte.

Mrt Meek. Upon my word» you surpriie me ;
hilt pray, is poetry a trade to be Iramecl*

Dr Cnt. DobbtlpM. Capital ns I am, I have
not ao^uired it alwre a couple of yrars.

Mn MrrH. And could you comniunicalc your
nrl t'l niKitltcr ?

Dr Cat. To be sure. Why I hare Jicrr in my
pocket, my dear, a whole fuliu uf rhimev from
/ quite to greet A. Lctus«er; .\, ay, here it
'•et'Ot*. A, tsa. paaa, uraM, maw, lusa ; and •»
quite throue'i the ulphithet down to Z. ZouimJ*,
grouitfis, mixmds p<'undv hiiuurin.

.Ifrt Meek- And what do yua do with ^une
rtiiittM f

Or Cat. Oh, wf supply them !

Mrs Mech, >*(ipplv Incin ?

Dr Cat. Ay ! till tbeui up, Tis t will show vo!i,
I.USI Acek, in a ramble to Oulwicb* 1 miidt- the»e
rhinie« intn a duet for a new ciMuic n(>cni I hare
on the 9ttii'L<.. Mind, fur I lixik upon itic \i<inU
Hi a model lor that sort of writing. h'intf
she :

There to «ee the shtzirish ass.
Thro" the meadows as wc pnw^
Kating up the fnnurr'ii tjrav^,
Blyth and morry, by Ilic uiass,
As a lively country Ian.

Mn Mtth. Very pretty \

Dr Cat. A'n't it } Then he repliea :

ITcar the fartner cry out. Zounds !
As he irudi;c« thmuch the srountls,
Yonder benn hath broke my moonds;
If thr pariith has no pounds.
Kill, and give bim to the hounds.

Tlien da capo, both join in repenting the last
sranza ; and (his tacked to a tolerable tunc,
will run you for a couple of moDilis. You ot>-
servc?

Mrt Meeh. Clenrly. Aiour f^ntloman il de-
sirous to l<^m all kinds nf thin|n, I can't bptp
tbmkine but ht> will take a fancy to thia.

Dr Cat. In that case, he may command me,
my dear; nnd I promise you, in a couple of
months, he shall kitow as much of the matter as
I do.

ilfri Mech. At present be is a little engaged (
but as stMin as the honey-moon is over

Dr Cut. lionoy-moon ! Why* ii be going to
Ije married ?

Mn Meek. This evening, I fancy.

Dr Cat. llie tine^t opportunity in nature fof
»n ininMluctinn ■ I hiive by me, ma'am Medtliu,
ifiuv own com|)Oftiii<m. «udian cpithalmtUBi ! —

Mn Mffh Tbalmiiim, wbnt's Innt?

Dr Cat. A kind of an elegv, tJiat wc poeM
coni|M><>c at the •olemnization of weddings,

Mr$ Mech. Oh, hu !

444

BRTTKH DRAMA.

[FOOTB.

fh- Col. It is vt to nnnc tircaijy for 1 still

cuuiposc for roTsclf.
llriiffrA. Voarfo?

7>r i'nt. W Imt thiuk you, oow, of pmrirfini; «
band, nnd KreoHitiDg the V|«irc li>«igbl ? It
will be a prftty uxtrmpure outupliiaCfit.

tits Ui-rS. Ilic prettied dMmi>^ iu thr wnrltl
I'BiR I hear Mr FunvuAbvH. Vfiu'll t^ruw mt .
drar (Itjccor ; you amy Hiwo^c wc tur busy.

Dr Ou. No apology tneo; til about ii €has
^iftitant.

Mr* Meek. As «oon m joa pletse. Adj
f ^wng to get TOO out of ibe my f

1> Vat. Yoar obveqioom, gMd OM^B M«di-
Ua. But DOtnitl islanding ail yoar 6ae iwaehti^
I tJircwdlf iiospGCt tny UesMfl haipiii u basr
was a prcscot fron you ; and wM sfaaM I d«

wttli it ^ These little rmbarrasBea wc mm of

tntrijcoc are cif-mally sobject bo. — ^Tbei* wUI l«
iii> !A-iHtiug ii badt; »lic will never let it CBlcr
I tie house. — Ifey. j^ ! a ludbj tboacht w com
mto my bead— — this serenade rs Body i
ved— — Madam Mechlin »hall h«n bar
a^in, lor I will rMurn her bye-blow in Cbc I
<>f a (kmble base riol ; so the bawd shall ban i

1 concert as well as the 'squire.
[Exit Dft Catcih.

ACT m.

SCEXE L

£a/er Mu MzcvLrs.

fitter H^BPr, YouMO Lovxit, and Jckvy.

Har. Tell yoar mistrcu mv naioe is Harpy :
shr knons it>c, and Imjw precious tuy time is.

Jm. Mr llarpy, the auoroey of Fumtval's
lun?

ifor. The Mine. (EnV jE.xjtT.] Ay, ay, younc
fienileimm, ibis iji your vtoinnn; 1 uarnmt j-tmr
biisineu is dqne. You knew Kitty Williaois,
Umt married Mr Ahediipg'i Potipluir, the Jew-
brokrr ?

Yoting hoTf. T did.

lior. And Rtjhin Raiabow, iha happy husband
of ilie widow CbaiDpansy, from the isle of fit
Kitu?

Yiiung Lore. I have seen him.

Hnr. All owing to her. Her sitcirss to that
breucli of business is worKlerful ! ^^hy. I dare
believe, sioie ln»t suiuuier, Alie lins out scut uR
less ihnn forty couple tu Ediiiburfih.

YuUMg Love. Indted ! SIh: mubt be rcrv ad-
roiL

Hitr. Adroit ! You shall jodge. I will tell
you a cose : You ki>uw the lur^c brick-bouse at
Feckliaro, with a turret at top?

Y^itungT/.trt. Well,

i/or.Tlierc lived Miss Cicely Mite, thconlv
daughter of uld Mitr tlic chrcvaM>tu:<r, at the
Comer of Ne»sj;tt(c-slnet,juM tuniird uf fourteen,
and utider iIm> hiii^ of on old tiiiudco aunt, os

watchful us u itru;:tm but hush 1 hear

Mrs Mechtia; I'U take another season to finisli
my late.

Younf Tjxve, &it, Mr llarpy, as these kind of
,wumFQ arc a good deal ^ivFti to (h«stp|iln£, I
would rattier my real ibidg hiu a secret, ull Uwrt'
is a sort nf orresftity.

lU.r. G»uti?piii^ ! She, Lunt help you ! die is
as cl<»M! IIS a Caibulir confessor.

Y'^uttfi Jjnv- Tlmi may be; but you latui
gire meloii^t lu ir»ist.

Utir. Weill well ; as you plcaae.

Your Terr humble servant^ good inadaai
lin ; I have takeo the liberty to iatrodaec «
i^nilcmaof a frieod of mine, to crave your
auce.

Atrs Mech. Any friend of ycMin^ Mr Uarfi ;
— «(>u't you te seated, sir?

Youn/i lAfx. Ma'am! \'Hu^mtim^

Mrs Mcch. And prny, air, bftw cac 1 icrve
you ?

Har. Why, tua'am, lh« ^ntleinan's siSvalMa

is But, sir. you Imd letter auic your cm

to Mrs Mpchlio yourself.

Young Lorr. WIit, you arc to know^tfaatlaa
ju^t escaped from tlio univrr^ity, where (1 Mfi
not icU youjyou are |;reatly e»teein«d

ilfrs 'JJni. Very oblifdug ! t rausc owa, ar.
I have had a very great respect for that kwae4
body ever sioce tlic^ made a near aod daw fiinrf
of mine a diiclur nf muuc.

}'i>iiR^ Ltnv. Yes, ma'am, I nmrober da

Mrt Meth. Do you kznw tum, lir? I «t^

hioi here every minute to inatruct a lo^fv «f

mine.

Yfun^ hrve. Not iniiiuatcly. Jiut aincMl;

but lost nt(iht : upon my fXMiiini; to towa* I toa^

inv father dtvcoscd, nod all bi» foriHM dcHB'

to his rrlirt, mv mutbrr.

AIrM UecA. What ! the wfaoic f ,

Young Lmx. Ktcry alallib^ Tbati^ftrtv

lilc.

Jlfrj UetA. And to what sum may it amov^
Young ttne. My m«.tbrr is eteVrtalli leM

mc. (bat. after her, 1 shall iolierit fifty tm ati;

tluMiHuid at leiiht [

Mrt AJcrh, L'pan imr word, a capstal tmn\
Young Lore, not of^ what ity. tny dnrUri

Mi!clilui, ftioce she refuses lo advancv Menc*-

nrn xiyiiit tbe crtdilufit; and whdc Ihr p»

)tro«s — Yuu know tbf pmvcrb—

Mn Mcfh. What, I Hi(.'pnKi yoy MlDtMW'

ing for present fubNMcDce {

FOOTE.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

I

Young Lave. Jost niy •iluntton.

Mrt A/rcA. Hare you ttutu^t of nothjnf; for
yourself f

Yommg Ixme. I ^m reiiolrad to be guided by
yoQ.

3fr* Mtci. Wtmt do von thuik of ■ wife ?

YouHc Late. A wife !

itfri JfrrA. Cnme, come, don*t de«[U«e my
mdvice : wh«ti s Tuonf: maiiV (inmnm arc low, u
wife i» ■ niacfa Wtter rMOum than a nwrtr ;
and there nrc, in t)>n ti>wn, n number of kiiid-
hemrted frtdows, thai mkca pleamirc in repniriiiu
Hie injuries done by Fortooe to baodsotne young

Har. Mrs Mechlin hiu rcnaon.

Young Ltrtt. Bui, dear tnii'ain, what can I do
wkb a wit*! i

Mn Meek. Do ! Why, like <nUer young

felloOTt who marry ladic« a littic stricken in years ;
make her your Iwinker and steward. If ytm sut
but ihe w<ktI, hrfnrv ni^hl, I'll ejivtf Tou a widniiv
with (WO thousind a^yt^ar in her podcet.

Yoang Lane. Two thouMod n-vear ! a pretty
«tnplovment, if the residence cuuld but be dikpen-
Md with.

Jfrf Meek. What 4o yoQ mean bv renidenre '
Do yiMi diiiik a geittleman, like n pitiful Ini'icr,
M CO be eternally tacked to ht« witVs ptriticuat?
When »hc i* in town, be you in the country; as
•b« ahifcs do yttu shift. Why, y<iu twcd imt 1*
with btT abuvi* thirtv days in tbie year; ntid, let
me tell you, you wunt tind a more ensy condi-
tion ; twelve munths subsistence fur one montJt'»
labour!

Kawn^ Jjne. Tw« ihauMDd a-yenr ! you are

Mrt iiecM. The least prniiy.

Tfiuiig Ijoec Well, madam, yon shall di^sr
of me just as you please.

Mfl Altek. Very welt ; if ynn*ll call in half an
hour at farthest, I bcliere we sluUl tintali the bu-

Vmtn^ Jjrte. In halfanfinor?
J/ri \Uch. Frvcisely. Oh! dispatch is the »-erT
^ Stfie and soul of my tmdc. Mr Hurpy nill tofi
I yvtt myMtriTw: Vou wilt find them reasonable
eiKiugh.

Har. Oh ! 1 am sure we sltall Imvc no dispute
. abmit ihu»e.

Young Lovt. No, no ! \Gn'm^.

Jfri Meek. Oh, but Mr llorpy ! it tnay be
pr»H*r lo menti'm, that ttrc gentlewumatt, t!>e
pstrtv, is iip>vardi nf oiily.

Yaung Lace. With all my heart; it is the
purar. ivot the prraon, 1 want. Siity ! she i»
qvite a girl : I wish witti all my sou) sJic wa»
[■♦•my!

Jf rt IferA. Gtft yr>ti ^ne ; you are n dertl \ 1
» riiat.
Fcwtt^ /-ore. Well! for half an hour! sweet
Mrs SIcchlin. iidwu I

\_Ltamt Votrxc Loveit and UjiRrr.

Mrt Mech. Sob ! I have pravideil for my
dowac;cr fnnn Devnnshire-^titiDre ; ami now to
cater fur my commisaary. tk-rc he oonm.

Enter FtJHctis amd BRiDorx.

Fun. So, in six weeks Oh, Mn Mcdillti,

any news from the lady ^

Mrt Mrch, I exptvrt hrr here erery moment.
*4hc ts conscious, that mi this step she desccnib
from her dienitv ; but, bcinu desirous to screco
yuu from the fury of her nublr relation^ hlie is
determined to let them see, that the act and deed
Id Riitirelv her own.

Fun. Very kind, Tcry obli|pn|^ indeed ! — But,
Mrs Mechlin, as the f^iniilv is so furious, I recJion
vre shall ne»er be reconciled ?

Mrt Mecb. I iliiii't kimw thaL When you
hare l>ou):lil owninissions for her three younger
brothers, dischiirpe^l the tiiorts;ace un the paternal
relate, and portion*-!! o/T ripht or iiti»e of her sis-
ters. It is ntit iinixrtMlilr hut my lord may be pre-
vailed on to sufier ynnr name— —

Fun, Do you think io?

Mrt MfKh. But then a work of titoe, Mr Fuo-
gns.

Fun. Ay, ay ! I know renr well, things of that
kind are not brnuchl nboui in a hurry,

Mrt MtcA. But 1 must prepare matters for the
ladY't rcreplion.

Fun. By all roetins. The jewe^ are sent to
her Indysbip *

Mrs Mfch. To be sure.

Fun. And Uie ring fur her ladyship^ nod her
ladv»hip'ft licence?

Mrt MecA. Ay, ay. and her tadyihip'i parson
too ; all are prepared.

Fun. r.trwtn ! why. won't hr,t ladyship plcate
to he married at PiwIN?

Jlfri Meeh. Ivird ! Mr KDngus, do you think a
Indy uf her rank and condition would bear to be
seen in public nt onc« wiili a person like yon t

Ftn. That's trve, I

Mrt Merk. No, no ! I have sent to DrTicile-
tcxt, and the business will be done in the parlour
Ix'Iow.

Fun. As ynn and her tndydiip pleases, good
Mrs Mecfilin.

Mrs Mcch. You will get dressed as soon as
you can.

Fun. I shall only take a shnri le«on from Mr
Rridoun, and then wait tii>r lndyKhip*iip|p«uire. —
Mn Merlilin, may my hr'>iJicr be hy f

Mrt Meek, Ay, ay ! proridod his being so is
kept a secret fnnn hrr.

FUft. Ne%iT ffor. [Ent Mas Mcrni ts.]

\\e\i, Mr Binduan, and ynu (Innk I mu mended

it liiticf

Hrirl. A Rreat deal.

Fun. And that, in a month or six weeks,! may
be nbia to prntuv upon a long-tailed horse in
Uyde^park, without uuy danger of falling f

446

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FOOTK.

Brid. Without douU.

i'tin. li will t<c •■»! (ilcuBnt, id Uir heat of
tlie dar, tu ctinlcr nloii^ llic kiiqiVroiKi, ndc by
side witb ilic ladles in ilic thick of iliR dost ;
but that 1 rouKt Dot hnpc fnr this Hmnncr.

Brid. 1 diin't knuw that, if you follow it
dov.

Fun. Xever fear, I than't be sp«nnp of

But came» come, let u» ^ to our IwiMnptw

John, have the csrpciiU:n braugbt home my u«.w
I lone?

Enter Jouk.

John. It is bcre^ «r, upon tlw top of tlic
stitin.

huH. TJ»f n fetch it io, in an instant [ Erii
JouN.J Wjiui a deaJ of rime and trouble ihiro
l^iirs Mr tiridtiuii, tri Uu' itmltiiif; a ^cntlrnian !
And do vaur etiillcmcii-Uirn aim fl'tir 1 rt-ckun
jcii bnve had of all tons) take as mocb paitia ii»
wc dti ?

hrid. To be sure; but the; begin at aii ear-
lier nsc.

Fun. TlifiT U «oraetbiag in that ; I difl not
know hut ihcy minht be aptcr, more cuicrer,
now, in CArrhing ihrir inniiiifE.

Brill. Di!iptftiiu>in<i du cerlatnW 6'iffcr.

Fun. Ay, ay ! suDtetbiiig in natcr, 1 n arrant ;
a« tbcy SAV the children of UlacLamouo will
swiat a» soon a» the)- coatc into tlx: wurld.

Enter Servant$ with a wooden hont,

0\ here be i%. Ods nie ! it it a stately ne
bea»t.

Brid. Here, tny lad^, place it here — Vcr? well.
AVhere's your swiicb, Mr Fungus?

Fun. I have it.

Brid. Now, Ect me ftce you vnnit nimbly into
3'our seat. Zounds ! you arc got on tlic wron^
Hide, Mr Fopgus.

Fun. 1 otn so inde^ ! hut we'll soon rectify
thnt. Now we arc riiiht; maj I have leave to
lay hold i»f the mane?

Brid. It" you can't ntount him wlihmit.

Fun. I will try; but this fttcc«l is so de\ilijih

tall Mr Bridoun, you d'w'l think he'll tlirow

mc?

Brid, Never feor.

Fun. Well, if he <)bnuld, he can't kick; that's
•ne (.-oinfort, however.

Brid. Non, uiind your |>o<-ition.

Fun. Stay till 1 ref«tvcr my wind*

Rrixl. f *'t ytmr head be erect.

Fun. 1 hcfc !

Brid. Aud your •.bmilders fall easily bark.

Fun. Uu !-^ — there !

Brid. Your switch perpendicular in yonr rtaht

hand — your right that a it: your left to the

bridle.

Fum. There.

I

Brid Your knecs iii> and joar toes •«.

Fun. There.

Bnd. A re TOO ready?

Fun. \V lien you will.

Brid. Off jfMu ito.

/mm. Doa t let him pJlopal fine
Brid. \ try well: preserve jKMtf- pKMaliaaL

Fttn- 1 warraoL

brid. n<»e<i be rarrt you cur ?

FuH. All the worUi like a crMlle. fiat,
Hridoun, I )!o at a wonderful rvDe.

Brid. Mind your kaerv

Ft*n. Ay. ay ; I cao'l think but this hm>
«iaiids still' vei7 near as Imst as another caapl-
lit|>,

Prid. Mind your toes.

Fun. Ho! stop the h'M-se ! Zounds! Foi «t
of the stirrups, I can't sil hiin do longer ; therv 1
g"— IfWhif.

Brid. I Inrpe you ar'n't hart?

Fun. My kit hip has a little omfinkiiK

hrid. A udli% quite an arcidcut ; tt tai^
pcu to the Ti-ry best rider m EnglaJMl

Fun. ItKlet'd !

Hnd Wrt hare socb thinpa happen rtcry
at the mana^ ; luii you are vasdy iaapriwed

Fun. Why, I am grown bolder a little : ssi4
Mr Brtduuiu when do yuu ttiiuk 1 mxy nnlsf*
to ride a live borse ?

Hrid The very histant you are abk ta ktif
your seat oo a dead ooe.

Enffr Mas MsciiLiir.

ilfrj Mech. Blets me, Mr Funjrus, how stt
arc trilling yuur time \ I expect Udy Hacharwa
every moment, and see what • trim yoa tttiat

Fun. I bei; pardon, good T^^mw Maahfa —
I'll be equipped in a couple of mamtot; vhoi
will her ladyship pleaw to receive me f

Mrs Ateth, In this mom, to be aufe! coac.
stir, stir !

Fun. I hare htid a little Fall from oiv hniv-

m go as fast as I tdr Briduuo, will yoa kai

me a lift i

[Ertitnt FvKcrs oad Barton.

JVfn iUrcA> There Jenoy, show Mis Lore*

in here Who's tlxere?

Enttr ScftvaVTS.

Pray, move that piei-r of lumber out of ■ '
CtHiic, come, niakf lia&te ! MMlam, if \-
a bcre for a momeuL

Enter Mas Divcir.

Afrf IjTcr. So, so, Mrm Mechlin: well,y«iw
I nm true to my time; and bow haw you iJam
my tnirtt wriman ?

Mrt Mtcit. Beyond expectatkm.

JlJrr Utte, lodecd ! Aod have joa pnmiM
a party f

FOOTE.]

BRITISH DRAMA."

UT

»

I
I

Alrt Meek. At, and sticfa a ptrty, vou michi
wiu'cK tlic tuwii muiid bct'uic you could meet
wKh hi9 fellow : he'll suit you i» e\-cry rr^ct.

A//f Li/xx. As bow, a» how, uijr dear wo-

3ln Mech. A geotleoun, bv birth Mid by
breeding; none of your little whippcr-»i>nppc-r
Jiicik, but a ruuniciiaticc as cooielv, aud >\ yn-
aenrv jis prtrtiv ! — he tuuMie fault, indeed, if you
Oil but overlutA. tlimt.

M't Lorr. Wh»t ■• it?

Airt \t«tk. Mhafie.

Mr» Ijivr A^! How, how?

jWr« \tnh. Why, lit- i« ruther under your
intirL, I am afratd ; ii»t ntiuvc twenfv «t moat.

il/fi Ijipf. VVell, .vfii, !aj he anaww* in erery
thine cIm:, Me mnvi overlook that ; for, Mr>
BlA'hliu, there u no ex^iccting perfection be-

Mn Meek. True, madam.

Mrt Lift*. And where is he ?

Mrt Mech. I look for him ercry minute: if
JDU will but ntep into the tIraMinK-ruum— I buv-c
pvcn him »ucli a (iicture, that I am uire he is
fu I a> uttpsttriit s»you.

Atn Lovr. Mv dear wonmi, you are so kind
vid iiblieinL ! liuu Mn Met hlin. how do I look f
Itnn't (latter uk ; do yuu lliiuk my lij:urc will
3tn'kv liim f

MSri Mffh. Or he mii^t be blind.

JMr> Lavf. Von inav just liint bin k dmi't \te'
COIDC tne; that I am a littk- |inler of luie ; ('m-
lota «f a hukbaiid oue loves, Mill cause an altera-
twn, jou kiKiw,

.1/r( Alffh. True ; oh, he will make aa allow-
ABee fiff ilniL

Mrt i4)vt. But things will cuine rouiKi in a
tnor. [Estt.

Eater Si MOV.

Sim. Madam, Mi» Dully ih dizened out, and
mvtry ikiiie leady.

3in Metk. Let her wait for the cofnm)<<9nry
i hart ; I wtU intrudut-e lum the ntstmil Iw i*
drrtscd. (EsU.

StiM. Mm Oollv, vuu mny come in ; your aunt
will be lierc ill an lu&taut.

Enter Dnu.\ oiu/ Jkvnt.

ZXW. Ilu^i, Simon, hu^b ! to your post.

Stm. I am tfiMif: [hltit.

Dot VVell, Jenny, aiid bare 1 the true (juaLi-

j€H. Aa perfectly, madnm, a* if you Itatt been
fared to ihv Ihimiics^; and f^r figure, I defy the
uf ihctii all. t-'ur inr part, I tltink Mr Fuik
tcry wed off; wlwii (lie seiret cttme^ out, I
i*C M-t: what rii;lit he Ima to lie au)(rt.

t I>h, wlaii oocc be is noose<), let him
jle a> rourii a-1 be wtJl, tbo cord wiU bi;
•a ouljr tbe tighter.

Jrn. Ay, ay, we rony trust to your tnanage-
ineut. I liope, HUM, 1 shail have the hji»->rTrto
follow your fortunes? there will be do beanitf
this house when ontx you have loft it.

IM. No, Jennr, it would he hnrbnrous to
rob niy aunt of su uficful a seoiiid; beside-, for
int«tn:!» and maid, we raibcr know oue anotbcr
alitUc too well.

Jen. Indeed ! But hen comes Mr Fungus—
remciubiT distance and dtgiiily.

Doi. 1 warrant you. wencli.

Jen. So, I sec what I lure to hope. Oar
younfr 6My ti«en)& to be secure of her tnatdi : but
1 may jofttlt: her the wmit* nidc of the post ; wo
tvill have n trial, however: but I must see and
find out the brother. [Andf, and ^^it.

Enter Z. FuKctrs and Mas Mcculim.

Fun, Vcs, scarlet is vastly beooroinp^ and
takes verv much with the todies; ijuilc proper,
to*), as I have Iteen in the anuy.

Mr$ Mech. Suy where you arc till you are
annoimrcd to the lA<ly — Mr Fuiy^rus bep leavs
to thr »w bim»elf at your ladyship's feci,

IM. The luoit may draw uigh.

Mrt Mech. AppTiiMch. ■

Fun. One, iwtK thrpp, ha ! Will that do f

Mt% Mrrfi. Pretty well.

Fd Mav I hi'iiin to makr lore?

MrJi .Mfrh. Wti«*n you will.

Fun. Now staQit tuv Iriend, Mr Cruel. But
<ihe has such a deal of dijjntty that she dashes iim
(^uite.

Mrt Mrch. C'Minq^e.

Fun. Hero, buld the paper to prompt mc, in
Cii-* I should iiutiihle.— Miidtiin, or, may ic
plea->e yrpur hidythip, when I prrjiimderale the
ftraiiddur of vuur hiuh gitmyal'vv* iiid th« mer>
rantile m<*»itiif •>» of my diii^' dctcfnt ; when I
citoMder lltai vonr onccfttitrs lil.<* :iiluiiial .\n-
s^n, sailed atl Mond the wuHii in tbe ark ; and
that it is B miuter of doubt whtfther I ever bad
any fort-fither* or no ; I loiter, I tremble, at tho

thrmiilits ufniT towfrring ambttiuu Ab — &, la

ii»t ritai'ton nrsi?

Mr$ Mtch. llejr! [Looking at tSzpaper.J —
N'o. Lima.

Fun. Ri^lit— ambition — difnltr how debased,
distance bow gruit ! it a as if the link hbould
donuiml nn aflmucie with Luiin, or the bushy
hratnble court the boiiehv of ibe stately Scotdi
lir: It i» as if 'Whal's next?

Mri Mech, N«t — bey ! I bare lost tbe place,

I am ufntid (Jome, come, enoiisli lutt l>et'ii

kiid; you have ahowt-d ibc scn*c you rntrrtiiin
•>i the boiiour. Vpou tlie<K! iK'ciuiuns. a third
pervm is liltest ttf cut matters short. Vuur lady-
«liip licur* that- - -^

Oot. Yes yes, I Ltcn weel eimuirh what the
mon would lie at. Mrs MerliUri lins spoired
siko tilings io your great comuicialaticinsy Mr

448

BRITISH DRAMA.

[fbOTS.

TuBffUf itut X ouiMX but BT I cUkcd a faticj to
I joo frooi liic *«rT b(i|iaiiini:.

Am. Mtidh oUqenl lo Mrs M«chUa. )iKk«d,
plouc yrntr lndyBhi(H - —

DoL Yuu kro I am of a* auocienc a family as
aDV North BriUio cau iMjaM ?

^■iL I kocnr it full well, please jwa \adj-

DoL Aod that 1 ihatl giet tbc iU-wuU of a' my
kiu hy this match ?

i'yn. I atn »urrv tat that, pleue yoor UiIt*
ibip.

iX)/. But. after iHe txretatvaj, it will he pro-
per to withdraw frum lowu fur a tboct tpac* of
lixnc.

/lut. Please jpour Ud^shipt what jrour ladyship
pleasei.

DoL In ortkr to gi* that gossip Scaadal ju»t
time to tire her tonKtie.

Fua. True, your tadt»hip.

DoL I tuuii vspcct thai tha folk, will mak free
»i' my character iu dtoctuuf uke a coruort as
you.

Pun. And with inct, too, plcaic your ladv&UipL

Dot. Wr wiu, tnon !

3irt 3/rrA. Hold yutir tOo^e !

Dot. Douna you thiuk ibe honor Kill dm
roicklc nvy upon yoa f

fvn. Ok, tu be sure, piraae yonr ladyaltip. I
did not mean thai.

Dot. Wecl, I uvt welt gang into the ettuntry.

Fua. As sooa at your ladyihip plcaut; I
hare a swccc bouse, hard by lUadioi^

Dol. You ha' ? thal*& rijcht.

Pua. One of the most pIt-asantesC places that
can be aeaifi.

DoL Ha' yoQ a Kood protpect t

FuH. Twenty stoge-coachn drive everr day
by the door, baaidot csrt& and j;eiiUeiiieir» car-
naget.

DoL Ah, that win

Mn Aferk. Oli, your ladyship will find oil
tltto^ prepared » in the next room the attorney
waits with the nritiof^.

Fun. llic bniiour of vnur ladyship's haiHl

DoL Maistcr Fungus, you're a little too ha!«tv.

[Krit.

Mn Meeh. Not till aftur the nnpiinU; you
must not expect to be too fainilinr at lirst.

Fan. Fray, when do you tliiiik we shall hf'iof,
tlio bedding about?

Mr$ Mech. About the hiucr ead of the year,
whm the winter sets in<

Fun. Nutbcfuref

EaXer Youmo Loveit, kaat^.

Totmg Lffpt. I hope. Madam MccliUn, I have
iMi mceeded my hour ; but I eipcctcd Mr Uarpy
would call.

3/ri Mech. He is in the next rtMra with a
My. Obj Mr Fungus, this geotletnaa i» aoibi-

lioos of obtMMH ike Mftiol WiiwMinn tern
tlic ^tae baods after jkms.

Fum. Ha's hMTCily welc»«»i Wh^anii*^
wife a wMUMin r>( ijuwity, too }

Mn Mefh. Xo, no; a cit; bat maaatnmlf
rich. Bui your ladv will waadcr

Fmn. Ay. ay -. but yovll fottuw? (or I ^^
kuow what ta My to bet wbeo w are akne.

^f^t Mrck. I wiU smd yoo, nr, yCMsr ifnaw n
sn miunt : the p-ntlewanMi is s widow; •■ joa
uinv throw in what raptvrca «o« pliaae.

YoHnti Imt. Nwrar terf [JCfir MuMn-
Li>.] And yet this tcene it to Bev« bow l» if>
quit niy vlf — let me wcoUecf— suiwe piooe «f %
play nuw — ' VoudMaff, divitts pcrfeefeiaM T N'lV
tliflC wanTl d» frr • dMngcr; k ia loa IwuaMp
and whiaMi^ Bus ••«, the d»ot ofcm. m 1 hm

no tjoic for rchcanal 1 have n — * Clax^wdia

* the folds of love. 111 ttMOt mtf doMi, aad id

JCn/flp Mas Lmrr.

Mr* hnt, I la !

Yoiui^ Lam. By all tfaat's nmoab—H o^ Ei-
ther!

Mrt Lvve, Ukat rebel my tarn, as I lira I

Young IdTTt. 1 be quotJUioo was qqitw i^i^
pen' Had it been a little darkeff Imof^imfi
rertved the itory of (]:ldipas.

JUrs Lave. So, sirrah, w|«c raakoyoa fan
your studies?

i'ounf! Lore. A small hint I rcc«i>ed vf yim
iiiclliiattiin* brouf^ me bere, niadaw. ia w*r
to prvvent. if possible, my fatherS Sunmm 6^
goifitt out of the fanuly.

Mrt tntt. Your father! bow darr ya« dtMib
hi4 drar a«)ies ? you knuw well moueb boa te
dear meuiory melts me; and that at has MlJ
name my hrart ia rraily tn break !

Kinn^ JWr. Wull said, tny old mttn*^^
plwsus ! Lte*.

Mn Cove, That iswhnt ymi waoC*yaBdi^^
dient, unuaiural monger ! but i niinihUHUW
plish your craclty ; send me tJ>c saoa na4 ve*
villanies forced your father ti> take! [Of*

Emitr Mas Uscvus.

Mn Mteh. H«hdat! Wbai tbe dm* L

w« here? iMir old Udy in ttiuft I

A/n tvfw. Di^ppnintad a htile : thai** aH
Jin .1/ci'A. Prnv.madaiti, wluU rauocciaw
Mn Lmx. Liifd bksi idc. Ma Mccbka, a^

a Uooder yoa bare vmde i

Mn Mtek. A blander * a* bow i

A/ri Lare. Do yoa kaow who yoe ^

brouitht nie ?

Mn Mfrh, Not perfeefelv.

Mn Ltoe. &iy own aoa f that'* all.

I Mn 1/cl A. \ oor ana I
t

^Fo(

I

OTB.]

Mn Jmv. Av. that rchdltou*. unnntiiral— —

Mri Mecli. btuiidcr, indeed ! But ivbo cnutd
have thought it ! irhy, by your account^ mii'niu,
I iriia^iticd your miii woi a child KCarcc out of Ills
frock).

Ilrt lav. IIcre'9 company ooming, m n; re-
putotiDii Hill be bliutcd for rver.

jUri .1/ci'A. Xcverfcar; leave the cnre oii't
IQ inc.

Eater Fi'wors antt Doilt.

Fun, WliKl is tlie nuiMi-r? Yuii uiuke sudi a
IMHM, ihcrr ift ur> audi (liiiig as uiiiiding the
wntingt.

Mn Mfck. Tliis worthy lady, nn old friend of
tniiw, not }mvin^ eet eyes on her son sitifc tbe
death of hift Tniher, and bciup npftriJ^d bv me
thnt here »lie inie*it meet with Itim, cntitc iviifi a
true iiuittfriuU alltclion tu ^ir« hitii a Httlc wtiulc-
tomc Rdvicc.

Mri Ljv. WeUsaKJ, Mn Mocbrtu!

Mr$ Mrch. Which (he Toanj^mnii returned in
a way >o brutnl aiid barKnmiiK, titiit liii poor
mother Be comfurifid, iiu'aui ; _Mm had bet-
ter rcpov: on my bed.

ifr$ Ijiv. Any where, t» get out of liii tight.

jl/'l Mrth, iierc, Jennr !

Mn Loo. Pu yau think you can procure mc
•nodwr Mfiv f

Mn Mtth. Never <kiubc iL

Mrs I^to. VzK ugh f [Erj( rouj^/iing.

Mn Meek, llrar up a bttlr, uia'uni.

l^uH. Fie ufkon y<iu ! you haro tbrowu the uhl
getitiewoDinn iriln the stvricks.

Fan. Yon a won ! you are a scandalj n sluunc
to your sect *.

Enttr Da Catcut.

Dr Cut. Coinu, coinr, Mn Merlilia, are liip
■ couple prefKirctl ? tbe fiddles ure luiietj, the

' llo«r» ready njiiined, uint llic whole bund Oh,

jTOO, «ir, arc oiie party, I rrckoii : but wlierr is
tbe — .'Vh. Dolly ! what, ore you here, my dear?

n»L Sob •

Fun. Diilly? Who ibe denl can iliis be?

Dr Cat. As nice aiid ai uprticc, tf>^ ! :he
britiemaid, I warrant : wliy, yon look as bloum-
ine, ynu slut !

Fan. Wlwt can this be ! Hark ye, sir !

Ih-Cal. Wcll.«r.

Fun. Don't yoii tbink you are rat>ier too fa-
miliar 4«itb n lady of her raiik end condition ^

J>r C«t. [lank and condition ! wlrnt, Onlly?

Fmn. Dolly ! what a plague posMSsca tlic
OMkA } this ii no Dully, I tell you.

Dr Cat. No !

Fmt, No, this is Lady Scracartssa Mackirkin-
cmft

DrCat. Who!

V0L.lI

VuH. Drveniled from the oM, nM, eti Cari^

of fJIcndowery,

Dr Cot. Wuoi, Oie ? Dully Al<e)diii ?

Fun. Dolly devd ! the uiau'& out of hti wiU,

I bebcve !

Entrr Mrs MceaLta.

Oh, .Mr> Mechlin, mil you Mt iliis matter to
rights }

Mrt itech. How! Dr<'tttijut?

I-'uft. rite strntipfst feltuw Iktc htii danced a^ j
stain, ami luu Dolly, Dolly, Uollyed my lady—
who tbe phwuc can lie be ?

Dr Cat. Oh. npropm, Molly Mechlin ! what,
is thi» the man tluit is to he married ? The mar- .
riage nill never bold (•ooil; wby be is m-'re fran-
tic and madder-! — -

F'in. Mad ! Jobu, fetch me the foils; III carte
and tierce 300, you scoundrel !

Enter Isaac Tvvovi ami Jlssy.

I. Fun. WhercS brothcri it nn't over? you
ben't innrricd, I hope?

Z. Fun. No, I believe not; irby, what it
the

/. FuB. Pretty hands you are got into ! Your
sermnt, ftood iita<1ruti ; what, tliis is ihu perwn,
T warrant' avt bow pretty the puppet is paint-
ed ! Do yon know wlm slic i&?

Z- Fua, Who she is! without doubt

/. Fun. SOf yoii don't, hi<ither /ar ; only the
spiiMU of that devil incaniule, drfvM-<l out m —

Z. Fun. Uut hark ye, Isaac? arc — don't be in

II hurry — ure you aure

/. Fun, Sure — the girl of the bou«e, abhorring
their M*aiidalo(is prnjecit has freely cunfevied lite
wbnie scheme. Jcinty, stand forth, and answer
boldly to what I ehail ask : la not tliis wench th«
wutnan's niece of the housed

Jffl. I fancy slic will Imrdlyiieny it.

I. Fun. And b not this lutstrcsa i}( youn a
most proflmatc

Mrt Mcch. Come, oome. Master Isaac. I will
anre you the trouble, nnil cut ttiii Rialier short
in an instant. Well then, this |;irl, ihii I>:)tly, is
■ity niece; anil what ttiL-n f

Z. Fun. And (ini't you ashamed?

Yontif; I^T€. "^Ik- ashamed ! I would have
told yon, but I oolii nut gfit yoa to liMen; tiby
the brvuftbt (dc bere to marry my mudier ! '*

Z. Fttn. Marr^ Tonr mother! Lord have mer-
cy on us what a monster ! to draw n voun^ man
in to be guilty of inccote ! Uut, hark vc, bnnher
Isaac? {'ffiry rttire,

Dr Cat. Oni)*» my hfe. wlint a sweet pnjjert
I have helped to destroy ! Ihil come, Dolly, 111
piece thy broken fortunes aftnin : Uioti ha»t »
)£ood pretty ruin; ; 111 teach tliee a thrill and a
sJiake, perch thee amougst tlic boughs al one of

3L

4flO

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Foots.

die gardflu; and then, u s mistresB, whidi, as
the world goes^ is a much better station than that
of a wife, not the proudest of diem all— -

Mr$ ikeek. Mistress ! No, no^ we have not
managed oar matters so badly. Haik'e, Mr
Commissary?

Z. Fum. Well, what do you want i

Mrt Meek. Do you propose to oonsommate
yoar nuptials?

Z. Rin. Tbal^s a pretty qoestion, indeed !

Mrt Meek. You have do objection then to
saying the penalty, the contract here that Mr
Harpy has drawn ?

Z. Fun. The contract ! hey, brodier Isaac !

J. Fun. Let me see it.

Mrt Meek. Sofl you there, my maker of can-
dles ; it b as well where it is : but you need not

doubt of its goodness { I pramise you, die best
adrice has been taken.

Z. Fum. What a damned fiend \ What a hii-
py!

Jfrs Meek. And why so, my good Maalta
Fungus? is it because I have practised that trade
Inr retail, which you have earned on in the grass?
What inJQiydo I do the world? .1 feed on ^twif
follies, *tis true; and the game, the plunder, ti
fair: But the fai^ of you and your thbe,

A whole people have felt, and for s^es will fed.
To their canooar and justice I make my appeal;
Tliough a poor bumble scourge in a nataaisl

cause.
As I trust I deserve, I demand your ^^planse.

\£ztmiUmmk

MEN

Mn Stockwxij^ o eititm.

Sin IUrky lUftLuwiL, a country gent Irmgtt.

Mh BiLioRD, iM U'Tt viih MissNaxcy.

Mabtiv, Bei.ford's terzanl.

Slip, Krvsaf to Uaulowc.

ACT. I.

SCtXE 1.—^ ttrttt.

Enter Maxtih.

]^art. I *M »ick as a dot; of hcing a rnltt !—
ratining nf\erotlierncoplr*snuvnCM,autf iircltct-

inj; my uwn this low Vtfc i» the devil !

I've had a tA»to nf the gcfltlciiian, and &(i(i|l nf •
rer Iom: it. Tis iKy own fault, mr little Martin !
Thou wDultT^t nlwavs piny stnalf gajnes; wlieti,
IuhI you but had the fnrc to put VQureclf forward
• liuic, wtnc urrll JDintured n itlow had tnkcn you
into her poat-churiQl, and tnndc your fortune at
»c once. A frllnw of my wit niid spirit »tiuuld
have bndic twicr, und set up ugaiti by (his lilnt'.

Eaier Si IP.

Slip. Hejr ! U not that, thnt ruciJ, Mniiin,

MUr, Can that be my mwkM friend. Slip?

voi
nni

Slip. The same, iVaiih !
J/rtr. Tis he, as [ live !
SUp. Mv friend, happily met!—— —
Aiar. My dear, I embrace you ! — Not leeinj
•a among ih^ bcati-mondc, I was afraid there
ind been some frc»h nuMnderstanding between

vou and the law.

Slip. Faith ! my dear, I have bad a Damm

trMTRpc, since t ■nw yrm. I had like to liarc been

Iireferrcd in Wmc of our sctlli'incnts abrtiatl, buC
found there nas uo doiog the banocM by de*

putv, tui

Mar. Did not accept of the place, ha f- —
»hv, what little misdnef badSc thou been at?

Slip. Why, I dfiii'i know — mcctiug one night
with a ccrlnin Portu^uL'M* Jew-mprchani, in oiM

of the bark-»trret* liere hy the eithange (I

was a little in liquor 1 beliere — pipog hot from
n turtIo*feast) it cmne into my giddy head to nop
liiiD, out nf uiere rurioiity U> ask what news
from Ccnnnoy — nothing more, and the fellow,
loot undentatidlng good English, would attd)

45C

BRITISH DRAMA.

fGlSEICK.

have it, that I asked him for someUiiiig else. —
He bawl'd out, up came the. watch, down was I
laid in the kennel, and then carried before a ma-
gistrate.— He clapped me on a stone doublet,
that 1 could not get off my badt for two months.

Mar. Two months, say yni ?

SUp. And there I might have rotted, if I had
nnt had great friends; a certain lady of quality's
HI Oman's cousin, that was kept by Mr Quirk, of
Tharie»-Inn, you must know, was in lore with
me, and she

Mar. Brought you in not guilty, I warrant.
Oil ! great friends is a great matter.

Slip. This afiair really gave me some serious
reflections.

Mar. No doubt, it spoiled you for a news-
monger : no more intellif^nce from foreign coun-
tries, ha 1

Slip. Well but, Martin ! what's thy history
since I saw thee ?

Mar. Urn ! a novel only, sir: why, X am a-
shamed to say it ; I am but an honorary rascal,
as well as yourself. — I did try my luck, indeed,
at Epsom, and Newmarket; but the knowing
ones were ttken in, and I was ohlieed to return to
service again. — But a master without money, im-
plies a servant without wa^es; I am not in love
with my condition, I promise you.

SUp. I am with mine, I assure you : I am re-
tired from the great world — that's my taste now —
and live in the country, with one Mr Harlowe —
piping hi)t from his travels. Tis a charming
yuung fellow ! Drinking, hunbng, and wenching,
my boy !— a man of universal knowledge. Then 1
am his privy counsellor, and we always play the
devil tt^ether. That amuses one, you know, and
keeps one out of mischief.

Mar. Yes, pretty lambs ! But what makes you
at London now? whither are you bound ?

Slip. To vonder great house.

Mar. What,MrStockweir«?

Slip. The same. You must know his daugh-
ter is engnpcd to my master.

Mar. Mibs Stockwell to your master?

Slip. Tis not above six weeks ago, that my
master's father, sir Harry Harlovte, was here
upon a visit to his old friend, .and then the mat-
ter was settled between them — quite a la mode,
I assure you.

Mar, How do you mean P

Slip. Tlie old folk btruck the bargain, without
the cotuent of the young ones, or even their see-
ing one another.

Mar. Tip top, I assure'you ; and every tiling's
agret^ ?

Slip. Signed and sealed by the two fathers ;
the lady and her fortune both ready to be de-
livered. Twenty thousand, you r<^ue !■ — ready
rhino down ! and only wait fur young master to
write a receipt.

Mar. Whew \ Then my young master may

e'en make a leg to his fortune, and Kt op Ins
itaff somewhere else.
Slip. Thy master.

Mar. Ay, he's dying for the — twenty thou-
sand— that's all but since your msuter

[GotMg.
Slip. Oh ! there you're safe enongh ; my mas-
ter will never marry Miss Stockwell : diere hap-
pens to be a small rub in the way-

Mar. What nib i

Slip. Only married already.

Mar. How?

SUp. Why, his father wouM marry him be«
in town, it seems, and be — chose to be mairied
in the country— that's all. The troth 'u, oot
voung gentteniau managed matters wiUi the youog
lady so ill, or so well, that, oprtn Us fmtba't re-
turn, there was hot consulting nnaag the rela-
tions ; and the lady being of a good family, and
having a smart fighting fellow of a brotttcr b
the army — why, my master, who hntes quarrelling
spoke to the old gentleman, and the anir's basb-
ed up by a marriage, that's all.

Mar. Um ! an entire new face ofaffiiin!

Slip. My master's weddinf^loaths, and min^
are all ordered for the country, and I am to fbl*
low them, as soon a3 1 have seen the family bcf^
and redeemed my old master's promise, mat lies
in pawn.

Mar. Old master's promise ! — let me dunk —

Slip. Tnas what broutrht me to town, w I bid
not snook my honest friend by the fist, filaitin,
good morrow ! — what, in the dumps ? — we shall
meet again, man.

Mar. Let nie alone, I hare a tbou^— faiA
you, mv dear i is thy master known to oM Suxk-
well? '

Slip. Never saw him in his life.

Mar. That's brave, my boy ! — [Hits Itimadp
on the back.^ — Art thou btilt a cock, of the gus^
Slip ? and slinll we ? — No ; T doubt — I doubt that
damned Jew-mcrchant sticks in thy stomach, ui
you are turned dunghill, \ou d(^ f

Slip. Try me. A good sailor won't die a (by
death at land for one hurricane. Speak out !—
you would pass your roaster upon the family for
mine, and marry liim to the laciy ? is not ifaait the
trick?

Mar. That ! I have a trick worth two od^ ; I
know Miss Nancy is a girl of taste, and I baie>
prettier fellow in my eye for her.

Slip. Ay, who's he ?

Mar. Myself, you puppy !

Slip. That's brave, my boy !

[5/aps himmtieitd-

Mar. I'm in love with tier to

Slip. To the value of twenty thousand potui^'
I approve your flame.

Mar. I will take the name and shape ttf T^i"
master.

Slip. Very weU !

Garrick.]

WnmsH DRAMA.

468

Miir. Manr Miss Stockwell.

Sltp. Agreed.

iStir. Toucl) the tweiitr tliounntl.

Sitp. I'm !-Well, welt!

ilnr. And dUappiar bcrom Diatten come tu
an pcclfiirciwcmrni.

Slip. I'm! I'h.it article wants ■ Ittllo expla-
nalioni my houcftt frieod.

Har. How so ?

^i;>. You talk of disappcariiiE willi the Ind^s
fortnnr, hhH nercr luenbon Slip in lliu treatr.

Mar. Oh ! ne shall disappear together, to be
•ufv. I hare more honour ihui co gn without
you.

Slip. Well, on that condition, I tim content to
nfaiif your bark h:iml. Btii huld, hnid ! hnw will
you pou younctr tor my master, in a (aiaiiy
where you are so well known ?

ifmr. Hold your foofs tonpcie— this is my first
visit to ihcm. I returned hat ye^lenluv to my
tiKUtcr. You must know, [ a^kcd \m Inivc in be
nb«ent a Meek, and I made Irre with a moiith:
'twos a party ut* pleasure, h> I nuidc \kAA. Du-
ring uiy abseuce, l>e saw Hm liuJy, liked licr \ivw-
taOt aanrcd her fortune, and now, by my tielp,
bopcs to be in poseessiuii of both in a frw dnys.

SJia. And vnull do tlie lady the honour to
help licr to a better match ?

Star. She'll think «i, I believe.

Slip. Well Kiid, conceit !~Bui uhnt sort nf
pecple ore your father and mothei^in-law '

ilor. I am told he \% a mere citizen, who,
thinking: himself very wiw, is often nutwitted ;
and his Udv has as much ranitT in her v^nv ; will
never bo ofd, though tunted uf sixty ; aod as ir-
resolute and cnpricioui as a eirl of Vit't4 en. And
Hiitt I sappOMy » like nil other misses, nants to
Iw berown mi»tre», and her hii6baiid'« ; nod, iu
the niFfln time, is guvcrnrd by Iter chamhrrmnid,
who nil! be too IiDJtl fur U5 both, if we duu't louk
■bone U9.

Sfy. But hark'c ! wlml shall we do with tlie
old gentlemen's teller that I'm to deliver? This
will knock Uh nil up !

Afar. Write anothi-r.

Siiji. That's easier said than done — but 111 do
my best, an you mn't write.

Mar. Uu you m^ after my nediline riooths,
that they do not set out fur die cutmtry. We
lyivc no lime to l<r<«.
VKp. My master's will fit you to a hair.

Mar. But stay, stay ; t must sec my master
firft. If he sliould apptear and surpriic us, wlVc
in a fine pickle. I must make him keep hou^
for a few days — I'll think fif a lie as I go — Egiid
I have it already— 1*11 to liira, and meet you af-
terwards at llie uivem; iltere take a glass, cast
this coarse skin, whip on ttie genlleman, iumI
fthanie the 6nt men oi fuliion in the kingdom.

[ExiV.

sup. If impudence will do our busnesa, *tit
done.
And the twenty thousand are our own.

[Esit,

SCF.\G IL— ^n ajmrtment in MaSmcKWiiLL'S

Eater Miss Nanct and ^tvvT.

Nan. You know, Jenny, litat Belford has eot j
into my heart, and if I consent to marry uiia I
man, 'twill be the death of me. Advise me thea, 1
and dun't be sn tenziiiE.

Jen. ImA ! what advice cnn I gire yuu } I have
hut iwii in the wurld; one is, to forget your lo-
ver, and t'other, to disobey your father. Yoa.f
bnvc loo mucli love tu take the one, and 1 too
much conscience to give t'otticr ; so we are jult
where we were, madam.

A'un. Don't torment me, JennT.

Jfn. \Vtiy, I fancy we rai)(ht laid a way to nv
ronrile your love and my conscience.

Nnn. I tow, how, my dear ^rl ?

Jen. Suppose we were to open like aflntr to
your mamma ^

A'nn. Nay, now your jesting b cruel.

Jen. I never was more in earnest, madam. I
She loves fliutery dearly: aivd she loves her
daii[;hier drarly. I'll «varrant, with a si^i, and a J
tear, and a handkerchief, she miike^ her husband I
break his word with young Harlowe io a (iBar-l
tcr of an hour after tus arrival. 1

iVan. Not unlikely; but if

Jen. What, at your ifs i do doubts, I beg
where I am concerned.

Nan. But you know my poor mother is so UD-
scttlcd a UL-aturc.

Jen. Why, iliat's true cooi^; the lost speaker
ik Iht oracle, so let tu lose no time to briog her
■iver to — Hark ! Here she comes — do you retire,
till I have prc|mred her for you. [EjtU Narct.

Enter Mas Stockwkll.

Well, of all the women in I^odon, sure thete
never was such a temper as my lady's.

Mrs Stock. VVIuit can li.i%'c set this girl against
me ? \Aiide,

Jen. Such giKMl humour, and ^lood sense toge-
ther, seldom meet— thfn such a |*rpeiual unil«
upon her features! ^^'ell, hers is a sort uf a fac*
iliut can never ^row old ; what would I ^ve for
such a lasting face as she has!

Mrt Stock. Hussy, hus-ty ! you're a flatterer I

[Taps tier on tAe «4««iMcr.J

Jen. Ah I^Madam, is it you * 1 vow jou madol
me start Miss Nuncy and I had just been ulk-J
injE of you. and we a$;reed yon were one of the I
best of' women, the most reawuiable fncnd, tfaaj
teiidfrefct innilirr, and the — the — the

Mrs HtMk. >Jny, that's tou much. I bare mj]

4^

BRITISH DRASIA.

CGakaick.

hiViog% and my virtnM too, Jent^— in ooe thinf^
'indeed, I am very aolikc ocber woneu; I alwayt
^ IwarlbCD to rcftMB.

Jm. That's whet I sud, ina<bun.

Un Stock. I am neilber beadsCrang nor fan-

Camcal; oeiUicr

Jen. No, sw«et lady* the smallest twine may
lead jou, MiMv says I, hear reatoa, like your
mamma; will m good a mother, do yoa think,
force her dadghter to marry against faer inclina-
Cioos?

Mr» Stock. I force my cluld's incliuiittons !
No, I make die ciuc my own. But it 11 me,
(there's a good girl) has my daughter an avcruim
to young llarlowe /

Jen. 1 doo't say tliat, madam— liiat it — aver^
. »an — to be suro^bui I believe she hates him
like the devil.

Mr» Stork. Poor thing ! poor thing ! and per-
haps her little heart is b«atiog fur another f

Jen, Oht that's a certain rule ! when a yoaoz

woman hates her husband, 'tis taken for f^mnrcd

the loves anntlier man. For example, you tour-

I self, OS you' have often told me, hated the sight

of Mr StorVwcll, when tirst he was proposed for

Jour hufthfiiid — Sviiy f only bccauae you were in
>vc, poor lady, wiih captaju — you kniw who-^ —
thai was killed ut tlie siege — jou know wb^re.

3/rs Stock. Why will you name liiui, Jenny ?
[R'lpcj ktr eyes.

Jen. Tender lady \

Mr$ Stvek. Why, indeed, hnd thnt finr young
creature survived his wounds, I iihould never have
manicd Mr Siockwell, ihnt I will Miy.

Jen. llicii you know how to pity your daugh-
ter. Her liciirt suffers now, what your* did — be-
fore tliat siege, madam,

Mr$ Stock. Say yon »of poor girl', and who
19 it has foand the way to her heart ?

Jea. No other than the voung gentleman that
has been so con^^tant nt cards with i^ou late])'.

j\frM Stark. Who, Jtclford ?

Jen. The same, and a fine spirited young fel-
low it is.

Eater Misa Nasct.

Nflo. Pardon my fully, my misriirtnnp, dear
- madam, if 1 cnnnot conform in all my seiiumcnu
with voiir'^i ftiid mv failicr's

Mra Slack, U will hnp[M?n, cliild, sometimes,
that a duuKhtcr'a heart n)ay not be disposed to
comply cwclly with the views and sclK-ines of a
parent; but tlien, a parent should act witJt tcr>-
.dcrnets. My dear. I pitv your distress: Bel-
ford has my opprobation, I assure you.

Nan. You arc too prxnl, madam :

Jen. Your appniliaciou is not enough, madam;
will you answer for master's too ^ He's a stub-
born hit of stutr, you know i lie will nut idways
bcarkeir in reason.

Mr$ Stock. But he shall, Jenny; stubborn as
he is, ni ftoften him. I'll take BcTford under my

protrtiioc^— Here OMBes my faosbsaii — I bare t»-
keo mr reaoUitioii, and you shall see howFtl
bring lum abotit presently.

Enter Mr Stocswcll.

Mt dear, joo're come ia the rery okk of tifflt ;

I fiave just changed my mtod.

Stock. You are alwajs dian^o( k, I llaak.-

3fri StocL I alwavs hearken to raaaoo, Mt
StockwclL

Stock. WcU, and which way does the wind set
now }

it/rt Stock. Why, I bare t^en a rcsolotioa aot
to marry my dauchter to young Ilarlowp.

Stock. Hey ! tbaiTs cboppitiK about, indeed !

itfrs Stock. Nav, bot, my dear, h«ir me, ftsd
let us reason a liule ; here's n betur ofier fiv
Nancy — Uelford has asked her of me.

Slock. Belfnrd a better !

Mrt Stock. Nay, but don't be obstinatet dnU!
he is not, indeed, so rich as the other ; but ^»l
are riches to rontenf, Mr Siockwell i

Stock. And what is content without ikkm
Mrs Stockwcll ?

Jtfrj Slock. Bot he's a gentleman, my deir.
and, out of regard to his fiunily, we taajwrf
welt eicu-e his fortune.

Jrtt. Well Hiid, madam ! this will do. [AmUl

Stt>ck. 11;^, ho, ha I that's because you wi
gentlewomoit— but I, being a downri^t dt, 1
just the reverse ; and, out nf regard to hisf
if he hnd one, might excuse his family. I hiR
no great objection to the mnn ; but is not oar
word nnd hnnmir engaged to another ?

Mrs Stock. Eh ! that's true, indeed ; bat—

S/uck. lbs my old fnend, sir Ilairy Uaridve.
done any thing to

Mrt ^tock. I don't accuse him, my dear.

Stock. Or has his son rt-fused to complv^

MrM Stock. Not in the least, that [ kaon Ol*.

Jen. \rrer flinch, mudntii. I r j^

Mrt Stork. Never fear, Jennv- S '*

Attn. But I hnve nc\*er seen fiim, papa.

Mit Stcck. No, Mr Siockwell, she nas vmt:
seen him

Stock. So ranch the better. Sin Smckasll:
he'll tw u i;reaier norpttr, and please her (bt bel-
ter, aiitl the lonerr for it.

Mrt Stock, lliere is some ressoa io ihil, i0'
ny.

Jen. Is tlicre, madam ? tbeu I have not ^
about roe.

Nun. Rut to ntirry nithout incUnabos^ 0'
cliittk of that.

Mrt Stock. Ay, think of that, Mr StocbnA

Slock. I never tliui^ht of it for oiymMt V
you neither, my dear: and why should our ds^
ter think licrAcIf wiser ihao Ikt |«n-Bii?

Mri Stock. Ay, why, indeed r— there's da ob-
sweiing that. Jenny.

Jen. 1 Me there ia not — What a woma !

(ia*

BRITISH DRAMA,

Stock, It would be such an aOroat, as never
could he fori^ivcti. ConsHlcr, dame, iHr instru-
ments arc ugncfi, preparnduni madr, and ihe
br«le|i;room expecied cvtTV minute ; 'b» too far
gone to be recalltd with nnjr hi)iiuur.

IA/n Stock. Good lacL-aAla)- ! very true, very
true!
JtH. Well taid, weatiicr-eock ! aKout and
about we go ! this woumn bctravs tlie h>]ioI«
aea — She won't contradict her onu husband.

Mrt Stock. You arc wimesa, Jenny, I uid all
I cnald for poor Oelford ?

Jem. To be sure ; you took liira under your
protcetkui — a noble patroness truly !

Stock. Hey ! whom have wc j^ot here ? I'll be
hanged if this is not my son-in-law's scrvaoc— '
Now, girl, we shall hear.

Enter Slip, la a buny.

rSlip. Ladies and genttemen, I am comc^lct
me recover my brtvrh — I come — Oh I I come
with wioe, and my master'a compliments to your
houour, and my Indy, our best love and 5emce»
to pretty Tnis5, and^madaai, I'm your obcdicitt
BUck-«-n)oor. [To Jzssr.

Stock. Urn ! tlie fellow hni humour, [ prumiac
you. — Well, ftirmh, wbcrc's ynur master?

»Stip. My master, anil your BOtt, is on liis way
lo tliTOw liirusc-ir nl tlie feet of this angelic crea*
core. Ilis iaipatieiurc, inadaiD, can equal nuthuig
but your briiiity.

Stock. Well, but where is lir, where is l»e ?
iHtp. He's btit jiiiit arrived from the rountry ;

I lie trends upon my hei h, ojirl 1 hnd nnly tite sttirt
of htm to tell rou, tlint be wilt but whip on clean
> lioen, and wait on you in the snapping of a fin-
Stock. O, fy upon him ! what need all this ce-
rrmony between us? why did nut he come hitlirr
*lirccily ? He knows he may make my house his
own.

Siip. Oh, sir, he design* it; but the fint time—
ywtlon me, sir — lie know» the world better than
Uk treat you su cnvuhcrty as tlmt — No, do; Kt-'^
noc that man, I can assure von : though I'm hi>
valet, yet I'd give llie devil f'is due.

tMrt SrocA:. Is he so rxtrwnely well bred '
Daughter, you'll he infinitely happy.
Stock. liocs not my old frietiil, Ilarlnwe, his
Dalher, roroe with him f
; Shfj. Sir, I grieve to tell it you ; such waa his

H dceiga, but an unforeseen acciuent lins prevented
H bitn; which, 1 assure you, cites him great pain.
H Slotk. Ay ! whnt's the mnttcr?
H S^ip. The gout, sir, lite cout !
^H Mn Stock. PiMTT f^nileiuan !
^P Sf*p- He was scucd in hts right foot, the even-
ing before we sot out, but— I have a letter from
him. [GiiT* a letter.

Stock, [Puti on hit tpectacld, and teatit.]

' To doctor, doctor Clackit, physiciao near SC
' Sepulchre'** cliurcb.'

Stip. IjuiI, lud ! tbat^i not ii— [TaJres out kt-
tert.\ Let mc see !

Stack. St Sepulchre's rhurdi !— I And tbc
docbir cbuscs to live aiuong liia patients.

SUp. Kh, eh ! that's so good ! you're a very
wa^ sir ! — He, he, he ! — let roe see — < »h, here4
one like it. — To Mr Stockwell ; the same. I am
afniid you'll hurJly he nble to make it out — shall
1 rend it lo you } Oh, tlus unlnckv !i;out !

Stock. I see it Iws affected hin hands too^'—
Why 'tis scarce legible; and ill spelt, too.

Slip. The gout, sir, — may it novcr aSect yoo,
sir, nor nindam Stockwell, Miss Xuiicy, that
youtig woman there, nor any of the guod cum<
pany.

SttKk. [Rredt.\ ' My much hononrefl friend
' — few words are best in my condition ; this

* dariiued gout h»s laid hold apnii me, and

* won't let mc attend my son, for to Ih- present
' at hi» matrimony.' — For to be present at his
niairiniiiny ! — I think his hand and style coo much
altered. ,

Siip. The gout, sir.

Stock. [Heading,'] * I look upon this oonjun-
ture ol' our families. Conjuncture ! — a very odd
phrnse !

Siip. 'Hie pout, dear sir, the gnut ! He's quite
another man in il.

Stock. * I iMik upon this conjuncture of our
■ fumilics, as ilie comfort of my ag.e — The sootier

* it is dune tliL- more crnnfort I ^hnll have — I

* don't doubt but you'll like my son, nlioin I lu*e

* sfut widi n most tmsry and faithful scrrout,
' wlto deserves yuur friendship und fnvour'

Sfip. O law, ur ! — 1 am quite ashamed.
Stock. * I em, my dear brother, vour's, dec
< till death.

llEMav UABiAwr.

I am very sorry, sir, we'cnn'tharc the old gende-
ninn's company. — But who is this gay young
fellow coming towards us t — Can this be my soik-
in-law }

Sttp. What the devil should ail him? I»ok at
him, Miss; observe hiiu, madam — is not he a
pretty ft-MonP

Slock. Whot ia he doing !

Stiff. Oidy jKiying his chairman. — Generous as
a prince. " [To Jckwt.

Stock. Not ill made, indeed ! — Vou'll only be
too happy, child.

Natictf. I wi^h I could think so, madam.

Siip. Orcss us hut as well, and we'll cut out
our masters, ten to one. All my func^-, I assure
you, Jadies. [Aiide,

Enter iijktrts,ai young IUrlowl

Mart. Slip!

sup. Vuurluinour!

450

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gabbics,

Mart. Ur Stockwellj I presoine, mj illuatri- :
ous father— —

Siip- The tame, sir, id proprium ptrtonum.

Stock, My dear soo, t^^elcoiue f let ine em-
brace yoa.

Mar, Yoa Ao roe too mach honour; mv su>
penbundaot .iot U too inexr-revible to express
the— This I flat'te* myself [To M :.i Stociwwell.^
b the brilHant beautji deaOned la the arms ot
happy Mart — Harli>*> e — Uad ! I'd tike to have
for^t mj owD name. [Aiide.

NaMOf. An iiDpeitii.eot, absurd coxcomb!

[Ati4k.

Stock. Net, nay, son-io-Iaw. not so^hat ; ibat'&
my wife. Here's my duuKhter Nam^.

Mar. A fine creature|! [SaliUea Acr.l l^fadam,
I have seen the world ! and from all the world,
here would I ctiuse a wife, and a mistreiis — a
family of beauties; let me die J

Stock. Excessively gallant ! He has wit, I as-
sure you, daughter.

Jen. And taste too, madam.

Nancy, AoA impudence, Vm sore !

Mar. [Singing to Mas Stockwell,] * With a
' shape, and a I'&cc, aod an air, and a grace !'
Ha, ha ! — Just, just as our old ^ntleman told
me. There youll see madam Stockwell, says he,
the agreeable still ; take care of your heart, boy;
she's a dangerous beauty, though her daughter
may be by.

Mrt Stock. O fie, fie, fie !

Afar. I but repeat my father's words, madam,
confirmed by mj own observation. Ah boy, snys
he^ I wish with all my heart, that ray dear
friend Mr Stockwell was dead ! I'd marry her to-
morrow.

Stock. I'm much obliged to him, faith !

Mrg Stock. And so am I, I am sure, sir.

Mar. I but repeat my father's words, fir.

Mrt Stock. My esteem for your father, sir, is
mutual, and I am heartily sorry we could not
have the pleasure of his company.

Mar. Oh ! madam, he was damned mad that
he oould not be at the wedding. He Imd flatter-
ed himself these two months with the hopes of
dancing a minuet with Mrs Stockwell.

Siip. Two months — Whpw ! — and 'lis but six
weeks he has knowu her ; lic'll knock us all up,
if I don't interfere — [Atide.^ — Sir, nr Harry begs
you'll hasten the ceremonials, that he may have
the pleasure of his daughter's comjmny as soon
as possible.

*' Stock. Well, well, every thing is sipied and
sealed; nothing remains, tiiat I know of, but to
finish the af&ir at once, and pay you my daugh-
ter's portion.

Afar. * Pay you my daughter's portion !'

that's all, sir ; come alonjj, mf, I wait on you to
your closet. — Slip, go with my civiliticf to the
marquis of — [Ahud.^ go this moment, yua dog,
and secure us horses, and let them be ki idled
and saddled, and ready at a minutc't> warutug,

[Soflli/.^ — and don't (atfjet raj compliments to

the marclitooess. [Abmi

Siip. I fly, sir ! Jadtes^ your mobC obedienc.

[£riX Sur.

Afar. CofDc alooe, sir, to your rloitrt

Slock, ijuy, son, stay ! — to rctoni Bo die old
geniieman.

Aiar. Oh, sir, we'U return to bim when the
portion's paid.

Stock. \o, no ; first satisfy my miiosi^ aboM
this unludcv law-suit of his.

Mar. O lud ! Slip not here now ! lAmde.

Stock. You seem disturbed, *oi»-ii»-lMi, ba*
any tliii^

Mar. ^ ! pox o* this qoestioo- l^dnJcJ I Imn
such a memory! — [Puts kia kmmd to mtfir^
kcad.'\ as much forgot to send ^p to tbe dab
of — as if I had no manner of acquwctaoce niA
him. I'll call him back ; SUp !

Stock. HeM be back again presently^-fat,
sir

Mar. He should liare told me of this danned
Ian-suit. [Jade.

Stock. Has it been brought to a hearing ?

Afar. O, yes, sir, and the a&ir is quite over.

Stock. Ay, already !

Afar. The wrong box, Tm afraid !

[AtiJe.

Stock. And I hope you have got your cause ?

Mar. With costs ol suit, I assure you, sir.

Stock. I am extremely glad of it,

Mn Stock. Thaiik heaven 'tis so well over !

Mar. Oh, the family had the law-suit m aaiA
at heart, the lawyers should have had evay far>
thii^ we were north in the world, before we'd
have been cast-

Stock. Vm I that would have been cmnyiafitt
a little too far ; but, as it was, it cost him a pro-
ty pciinv, ha?

Mar. That it did, sir : but justice ! Oh, jitf-
tice, sir, is m fiuc a thing, we cannot pay toodctr
for it.

Stitck. \'cry ime ; but excluMvc of the a-
pence, this has been a troublescmc a&r tj
my friend.

Aiur. You can have no idea of it, sir — esferi-
ally with such u tricking son uf a wbore, as be
had to (ju with.

Stock. Son of a whore ? He told m^ iiift aia-
gonist was a lady !

Mar. I thought I was in the wrong ks-

f Aside.] .\ Indy call you her 1 Yes, yes, a Ik
ady I but she had got an old pettifogpng mnl
for her attorney, and he — it was he that waswc^
a plague to our old gentleman. — But daum ibi
cause, let us cnll another — Fm for nofhillg aO"
but flames, darts, d^^ers, Cupids and VenoHi*
and madam Stockwell, and Miss Na.ncv — -

[Bovinf to tie*-
Mn Stock. The pink of coniplaisam-c f
Nancy. The fellow's a fool, and III die le^^
Va. have him. ■ [iildt.

I

I

Gasbick.]

Stock. Wdl said, sof>ti>-1aw ! n sptriteH fellow,
fnith ! Come, well id and sc« things ready.

Mcr. Shan't I wait upou you in your cknet
fir«t, sirf

Stoek. As vaon ns the cerenion/a aver, son.
■ — Cnine, ITl lihem ymi the way.

Jlfftr. Eh ! if I ooutd hui hive touched before-
hmiid, I'd have naved the cerrmotiy. fAiirir.] —
MmiBm. [To Mrs SrocKwrtL.] mav I h<ipc I'or
the Uuiutxtrl [O^ering to ?rtjrf her out.

Mrt Stock. Oh, sweet %ir^ — Dciu-ihtcr, youll
have a pretty felluw fur your hu^hand, [Jiidt to
NaxcY.j [EreuHt.

Nancy. 'Ilicre's a lover for you, Jenny !
' Jenny. \ot for me, madiim, 1 auure yt)\t.
What, snap at ttw old kite, n-hon such a tender
chick is before liiin !

Nnnci/. Nut a citil vrord to bis niiitress, but
quite yallant to her mother.

Jrn, Ai much ns to suy, a fig for yoa ! Fm in
love with your fdrlune.
N«tt€y, A f)g for him; a conceited pappy ! Fm I

BRITISH DRAMA.

4ST

in tore with Bclford; but bow to get at him*
Jenny ? ^

Jen. Ah ! poor bird ! you're limed by the wing,
and ^nig);IinE will hut mnVf it worse.

Nancy. Not sirusgic' Ruin is better than
this coicorab ! Prithee, advise ine.

Jm. Don't tempt me. — I pity yog so, that I
could give you a sprightly piece of adviiv ; and
you are in lo deipcnue a way, that I know you'd
Ibll'tw it.

Nancy. Follow it ! — — m follow any adrice,
Jenny.

Jen. O, yes, to follow your nwii inriimitious;

that's a ROod young lady. Well. I am at nis.'-

Bent mnrh inven lo miwrhicf. So, if ynu'll i;i»

into ritur chnmlter, lock the door, and lei us luy
our fittlc heads tu;:ctber for half an hour, if we
Hnn'l counterplot your wi*e pnpa, and hi» intend-
ed »ou-iii-law — we dcMrr^'C never to be matrivd,
or, if wc are, to be govcraed by our huslmiuU

[Kreunt.

ACT It

SC£N'E I.— A hall in Stockwell's kouu.

Enter BELrOBD.

Set. I Am surprised that Martin hna not re-
turned to tell ine his success with Jenny — He
adTiM;d me uot to stir fn>m liumv, and said I
jniqhi be assured every thing goes well, and I
)ih<iuiH hear from hiin — But still tlic impatience
of my hcurt cannot beur this delay-— I must be
■ear the field of battle, let what will be ih« coii-
■eijucDcr ; I hope I shall get a si^ht of Mnrlin,
■nd nut unluckily liglil on tlie old gentleman :
'sdraih he's here^ — -O, no, 'as Jenny; inj heart
wail iu my mouth.

Safer Jtayr.

H I>enr Jennv, where'* voor mistre«s ?
V Jen. Winding her»elf up (ac your mke, and, by
mj advtee. to a proper pitch of disobedience,
ihatN nil— but—

Bel. Rut whatP You hrsitate, Jenny, and teem
concerned I

Jfn. C'«iicerne«l ! why, we're undone, that's nil.
YoMr rival i^ come to town.
Bet Mow!

Jm, And is this morning to marry madam.
Set- Not while I'm alive, I ran icll him
tiwt.— But, pmhee, who is this happy nval of

Jen. Tt* one Mr Harlowc.
Bel Hariowe !
- Jen. A erntlcniao of Dor^etOnrc,
BeL I know all of that country, and can re-
ft Vol.111.

collect no Ifarlawc, hnt the son of sir Ilorrv
Harlnwe, and he

Jim. Av, and he is your rival.

Btt. It 1 lind no more to fear from vour raU-
tresft, than from my rival, a» you call hicn

Jen. Oh, you nrc very clc\'cr now, on't you P
What would you he at ikjw f

Bet. Tlw truth only ; Oie real, certain trulli.

Jim. Av, what's thai ?

Bet. Why, thai this Uarlowe is the wn of sir
Harry Hiirluwe of Dorwtsliin^ and uiy frind^
my panicular friend.

Jm. Yes. .'<nd so particular, tliat he will take
yoor oiiitrtvi from yuu.

Bei. He sii^ill take my life Orst.

Jen. You suid thul before ; lure you nothing
else to say t

BeL I say, thnt tU\s Itarlowr, my friend, wa*
inarried laitt vit-ck in the omiiry, Umt*» all.

Jen. And ihntS cnnuuli, If il is true; but I
have a BmiUl addition lu yuur news.

Bet. What'« that f

Jen* 71mt tlie afortsnid John TTorlnwe, wq ;
your particular friend, a'ul mn tit sir Hurry Har>
iowc of Dorsetshire, is now within, uniiing fur
my vuuns IndjS hand; ihitt's alt.

ifc/. Jenny, no jcitinj;, you dislract me ! *

Jen. Tii but too true ; he's tbts uiinulc gone
in with my master and mistress, to settle preJi-
•ninaricft.

Bc^ Impotnible ! be*« my intim.ite acquatnt-
ancr, and writ to me, not a week afft, as I Icll
/cMi. I have liib letter ut oiy lod^'tngs.

Jen. And wh»i wys \w there?

Hit. Tlmt he's privately uiarncd lo a lady of
couditiofL

5M

459

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gabkicc.

Jen. llow ran tfiw he Teconciled ? Co fetch
dinl letter, HI* liavc no time to lose.

JJf/. Hut wiml ift Mnrtin duiiigf

Jen. Manio, wlm'* hv ?

Br/. Miirliii, mj Krvuiit, vrlioml sent to asMflt
yoo,

Jta. Why, sure love hu turned yoar brain,
I air — I liavi' <ieea nu Mnrlin, out I!

i^/, Tlic niscal, lliMi. I!) run awnv from mc
I «£Aiii. I hiive !>p4)ilt-(l hitu by my iii(tul|;eiirr-.
tiv left nic for a nioiitlt, and rcturneil but yev-
(crdav ; thcri I wnt liiiii hither to as&i&t you. and
tioKv the M-uundrcl has If ft me usaiit.

Jen. Tifi the Kixury of the tiin«&, sir; though
we ore poor wc have ^ood ta.-tes n"d can be out
of the WDV now and then, as well nsour bptier^

Bel. How ilii« Tillnin hiu u^paI idc ! But wc
must li)u no time ; I'lJi t'vlcli the letter, and he
bm^k hi iminMflDt. ]tlrU.

Jkh. Let D»e see — can't I strike wine mischief
out uf iSio intelliftencc ! 1 warrant mc — I can
delay the marriage at lca«. IlereV my mastrr;
I'll t'rv mv skill upimhim. If I don't qnite liriu^
liini nlmut, I'll i^-l his brains iu such a ferment,
ihcy ftbon't Kttte iu haste ogain.

Enter Stockwbll.

Slock. I ihink I •»«' a ^limpv of yniin^ BeL
ford, bnt now — what hitwneu hii» he liere f

Jeu. Bu!tint:-:s6eu<iui!h, tiir; llie bc^t friend you
hnvc, that's all. He lius been tciling itte a piece
of m-wB that will wirprisc you.
Slock. l^%\ iKsar this pit><:c of news i
Jen. O' my word, a bold ninn, this Mr Har-
low, tit take two nive» at once, when iuo>t folk
vrc i£e have eiiouch of one !

Stock. Two wives ! Uess vs, wliat du you
ntean?

Jrn. Why, the poor man's married already,
fir, ihatS all.

Sivfk. Married !

^1*. Mnrm-d, I say, tn a youni; Indy in the
ctninlry, and very nuur niMrrying unutlwr in
town — a new fashion. I suppose.

SliKk. Puuli, |HM>I|! the tiling's impntirible, I
telt yno.

Jen, That tnnv be, hot so it is. He has writ
to Ik-Iford, mIio is liiBfrictid.

Stitck. All riunaoccand inrcnrinn!
Jen .\\\ trtith, I Miy; [telford in gone to fetch
tlie leirer, and he'll convince vou.

Slock. 1 will never be cimvinced that

Jen. Why not, sir? the yomig fclluws of this
age are i-nimhle of any Ihing.

Stitck. \ ery tnie. Jenny ; thev arc nbominahtc !
Jen. And, lor uuf>ht we know, Una Mr llitr-
lowu here may he one of th»se gentlemen, thai
itaake no scruj-le of n plumhty uf wives pmvidrd
ihny bring a plurality of porlinos. But bv your
leave, good Mr, a* thi^ young Indy, (»he'in the

ibcl^^l
COdn^^^l

must look a little about as for tbc uke of oar
yoonit ladv in ta»n.

Stvfk. Very true — 'tis worth atteud'nt); lo-

JrH. Aitendinplo! if I were you. sir, Uetbrt
I dt:liicrcd up iny daughter, I ibouM inMst upon
the afGiir't beitie dvared up to tny Mii^fiictiOii.

Slock. Vou'te in the riicht, Jenny ; licre's \m
man ; I'll 60und him about his master'^ mBrria^
utid llten — \tu\v- us togctlier — Co — Hi tmktls^
s|.euk, I uarrnnt ynu !

Jfn If thi9 marriage is but coufirmedf t tball
leap out of luy ikio. f £nr.

.En(fr Slip,

Stock. Mr Slip, coine hillier. My old frieod
<Mr Hurry has rccumQieuded you to mc, aiid I hke
your |>hy><i> 'plumy ; you tiave ati bunc^t face : il
plcD^s me much.

Slip. Your humble servant, sir. That's your
goodocss; but if I was no iKmestcr thaa di
lace, gnd a mercy poor me !

Slock. Well, well — luirb you mc ! ibis Bum
of yinira it a lad of spirit — a favourite of tkc W
diesi, 1 warratit him, ua?

Slip. That he is, I can tell you, sir:
fellow; no woman can rrsi>t hint, til
this marriflKT in your family will set you tbc
of thirty fimiilies at case all round the COtli

Stock. Odd ! a terrible man. I firofess^
wonder now that nap wife cno't serve huo.
SUp. Wife, sir! what wife, sir?
block. Vou sec I know alL uy fncad; lo joa
toay as well cunfeM,

S/(/j. Conrert ! what, sir ?
Stttck. I know all the cunspimcj ; mni «ilt
take care that you, rascal, shall Itavo jow daam
ua uu nccninprkc.

Siip. Accomplice ! — Rascal 1 und
racy ! — l>et mc die if K compr^ieod a
say !

Slock. Out I'll maVe you, villain !
Sliii. O mry well, sir — hu, ha, ha! — t ppsKrt
yon half friii,htGued me — Very well, indeed!—
[la, lui, ha !

Stih-k. On you lau^h at me, nrrah i
Stiu. U 1 had not ivOMtmbervd to havn
utyuid innt-ttr Hay, what a ilry t>Aer tua
I protest 1 should have becu taken in.
good indeed, ha, ha, ha !

Slock. None of your huffisoncrv, ttn^: W
contfess the whole adiur tl)i» niiaute. erbcM*
to Xeweate ihc next.

.S/i>. Ntwgaio! wire, sir, that would heaf*
rying llic jiikf too far.

Stock. You won't confess, thcu f — Who M^
tltcre? Srnd fur a cronstable this niomcnl-

Stip. Nav, Ku.jd fcir, no iuji->e. I bcteccb jm.
'Hioiiuli I am innocent as tlic ibild iinbnni, jtf
thnt M:trrc tune of vuicT is apt to dtv^iacvflDBt.
Whut was it your iHmuur was plmw^t n> lu<i
abrmi my nta^icr's beinc raarrind ? Ubu ouaK

V*!

country, I incaoj has tbc first sod Lot title, ne poitibly intcat sucti m fib m that?

Gabrtck.]

RRmSH DRAMA.

I
I

Stock. No fib, sirrah [ he wrotr it himH-if to
ft Crirnd of Mi n\ l/ntiion — lo Itell'tirH,

Stilt- fMi, oh ! your huinltle Mrviuit, Mr Dcl-
frrrH f n tiiic fetch, iTaith ! uav, 1 can't blaiite the
man nrithcr, ha, liii f I'niv, <tir, ts nut this wtm
Mr TVIforil ill love with vour tliiui:hter ?

Stixk. SuppMH.- lie ift, puppy ! nml uhnt then?

5/j/). Why ificii, Jenny i* liis fririid, and m
the lotcnm of aJJ Itis felchf^; I'll lay a wager
iluit ftliL* 14 authnr of this uliopucr.

Stotk I'm •

Slip. Our iirrivnl pit tliem bi ihpir Iromps^-
and tben — Slap, my poor master inuM be miir-
ried; and Belford must ^hew a t'nri;;ed letter,
fcmooth, under liift own hand to prove it — and,
And, amtt you undvrstuiid mc, sir

Slock. \\ hy, this tiu n fnrc.

sap. A face ! ht, like a lull moon ; and while
jnu'rc upoii ■ tatse seeni after this ^torv. Jenny
mil EMn tntw tu work npoii your daufrhter. I
keara ber *my mjMlf tlial aliu could lead you by
ihe noae.

Stock. Oh. »be could, could she f Well, well,
well M* that.

Stip. By the liy. sir, where did you meet with
thin Mrs Jenny?

Stock. How sbould I knmv ! I believe my wife
hired ber half u year a^ out of tho coiimry. She
had a fcood eliamcter — aud is very notable — but
pert, »cry pert \

Stip. Yes, yes, she U nnt«ble — Out of the
enuntryj and a good cfaanKter! well laid, Mrs
JCBDJ .'

[Hatf aside.

Stotk. What's Ihc matter, Slip? You hare
aometbinK in ymir head, I'm sure.

Slip. No, noihing at all^biit the luck of some
ponple ! — out of the country !

StiM-k. Y>iu must [ell nie. I ahnii't think you
mean me well, if you cntKc.il any ihiiiK fntm mt.

*Wi|», WIiv, ainoni: ouiNeKr*, wr — I knew Mr»
Jeonv ihelnit year very well — b>irn and l>red in
Corent (iarden. Some time apo Inr-ranid lu a
jelly-houie, and two cliildren, (very tine oiw* in-
deed) by little Torn ibc waiter. I knew, when I
■nr hrr here, that we aboiild have Hiine Apiirt.

Slo^k. Av. a?! I litKiw enough; well said,
iSr% Jflimy, indeed f Rut niiod the eulinini! of
ibis fellotv, t)ti<i Belfonl — be say^ be't the must
iaiiinate fnend yniir lunster hits f

Slip. Ay, wr ? ha, lio, ha ! and I dare say my

vould itut know him if he met liim

ifuit's well itbterved, sir; um ! nutbing
BpM you.

Stock. Why, I MB Mlduni OQt, seldom

fi/ifi. Never,

SttM-k. 1 don't say never; but here is vour
Blaster, I must linvv n luugh nith bun uliout hi<
mtmet'iittfi : h%, lui, tva !

&Up. Tftill be rare »port for bim; be, lif, bo !

Enter MAnnir.

Stock. So, Mn-tn-law ! Do yon hear whHt tba |
world tay of you ! I have had intelligence here,
lay, and certain inlelli^cnct: tou) tliiil yuu ara
niarriod. it seems — pntatcly uinrhcd, tii a young
lady uf l>'t^M<t^lltre. What say yoii, fir i Is HOC ^
liiis fine? IIh. ha, lia!

Siip. VerT merry, faith !

[iMuj(hine. tihd making tieni to Mail.

\rar. Ha, ha, hu ! 'tis wa-h Bjuke ! What, you
hu\e heard iof This Mr World is a facetious
ccntieman !

Stuck. Anntlier man, now^ would have givea

plumb into tlii* foalt»ih story, but I No^ no;

your humble scrt-aiH for that.

sup. So, plague ! Mr Stockncll has a lone

head ! He

[Pamtinf; MtilK

Mar. I would fnin know who could be di«
author of such a ridiculous story ?

sup. Mr Stockwell telU me,' 'ti« one Belford,
1 think lirralitt him; i^ not that bis name, sir?

Mar. Belford ! Ifelfotd ! 1 never heard uf his
uamo in my life.

•S/ip. .\% I said, ur; you see roaster kuowmo-
ihiii)!; of the fellow. Stay, stay ; is it not tha
yoiingMer ibnt — yuu know wbuiu I mf:an? that,
that

Afar. Rot me, if I do !

■S/i^i. He that — you most know him>— that it
your ri^T»l here, lu the report (p>e» ?

Mnr. O ay ! now I recollect. By tlie samtt '
token, they ^nid be bad but little,' and owed
mudi. Thai lliis match was lo wipe ufT old
w:nres, and that his creditors had Hopped pn>-
cccdinfEs till lir^ married.

Stark. Ay, av \ tltere kt them stop. Ha, h%
ha ! tiicy'll be tired i»r stopping, I believe, if iltcy
lire to )lop till he has married my daughter, ba,
ha, ha!

Slip. He's no fooi, let roe tell ynu, ihi» Mr
Bdford.

Slock. No; nor Mr ■'Miickwcll neither: and
to convince tliem uf that, 1 will £u this iiulant to
my baoWcrV and- — - •

Afar. Sir, Til wait on you.

Stack. Stay, smi-iiv-law ; I have a pfoponl to
moke — I own, I ai^renl with my old fncod M
give yoo IO.OImH- down.

Afar. Ay, down was tlic watA^ ti^-it waa aa '
— ^owii.

Stock. Now, could you conveniently take MHiM
houses, tliut i have m the horouKh. nistcad of
half tluit «uni^ Thcv art.' worUi a great deal I
more tbiui ihul, 1 assure vuu.

Afctr. () di-nr •!•', vour w»rd is not to b«> dl^ L
puK-d : I'll lukc any thni|t— but, betweru fricndv]
rciuly monry i» ibc tiuib. Duwiif you know, airf f
that was the word, duwa.

460

BRITISH DRAMA.

[6a BRICK.

Slip. Sf>eciei, your lionour koows, » of easier
Oirivcyance.

Sioek. Vc4, sure, that's inir ; but-~—

Jl^nr, Ayt ay; one cui'i put iHtuMrs in one%
i porUDHnieaUt yfu knuw — Ue, tic. He ! Ucsidcs,
hitrt ift a picitv ntntc to be »nld in Dorxtfthirc,
' iMrar my fatlier'N and I hnrc mvcvc upiat lliaL

Slip. A-i preuy a conditioftefl liitQp, h3 any in
the countrr : aad then bo omu^ous, tbnt a licdge
oalr fKirtfc tlwai.

Afar. I ina> have it for 90001^ nod Vm told 'tis
worth leo ttl ItrafiL

Siip, l^if least penny, air : the timber's wurtlt
Ittill'ihc miincY-

Stoci:. Well, well; Ionic you, win, I lime a
rciuiul ]0,OOOL nuw in my l>;uiiu.T'6 tiaixls. which
1 tboufcht to have made tmmcdiato advantage of.
Yiiu stttill Iiare a ntxiety of it.

Mar. Sir, I am infinilcly obliprd to you. Arc
you )^litlg to your banker's now, sirf

Stork. I t«ill but step and let my wife know af
i[ ; fetch tlic cash directly : and you thall marry
Lsiy dnugliter in ai> buur.

Mar. bir. MtppnK we brite Mr Bclfurd to
llie (veddiu^? 11k, im, tm !

SJip. lla, ba, lia ! VVbat a droll devil my mas-
ter 1% [

Stoik. Ila, ha, ha !

FRri/ Srora.

Mar. Wind and tide, my boy ! M» mflSltr hns
certaiuly bad au interview «titb m'oA Nancy
Stmkwcltf

sap. And as otrtainlr knows Harlowe, too.

Mar. 'riiey curre»pon<l, you see f

Siip. But, ihnnks to my wit, I hni-e sn vet titr
old man ajramst Relliirr), tliat 1 am in liopra nr
•Salt puck up mudaui'it fortune in the pi>ruuui>-
tcau, ijeTorc he's set to rigbt» n^in ; anil—

[Mad. going, ttops.

\imr. Zounds ! ray tuasterl

.%.. WIrt..*

Mar. Dnn'i yrau «ec bim rcadine n letter?

SUp. Tins it my unlucky star ! What will be*
come of us ?

fi<V. Tlii^ leritT )yl« me admitbince to Miss
StiKkwell nt iDatt: atiil if 1 cun but taw ber
fruni ruin. 1 timl) l>c hii|ipy; hut 1 Impc tbismav
hnvc bclti-r ciiii¥«|oeucc«, Uu ! Whni's tliis?
^Vit be ! Tii Martin. a» I live !

ilfor. Ay, 'lis I ■- and wtil for yoH it it. What
Act vnu hi-re'

Hri Nnv. what are you doin^ here, and whnt
hnvo iQu done here? What clolln,« arc Uir*c ^
AVbat*^ your sclicmcf And why bare 1 luit
kn^fwait^

jWor. Not so fast and «> Iniid, gm>il master of
niiiir — wall* hnve ear-i. *nn-M? arc your nval'f*
clotlK>, vliui»to f'tllutv thvm in a Tcm day*: hut
tli& iirrvaai, lIiitc, is uii old friuid of tuitie, and

so, as tliey fit me so well — he's — I fns* npon the
fttiinly fur the loonf; iVUuvr lumself.

itr'/. Well, a'ttd « berc's the jrtkc of that ?

J/or. A very grwd jr>ke, I ttiink. Ill aodoito
lake to put these twu nid toots {your p*p«
ninmma that shall be) m out of coocrit with i

Min-in-law, that — why, already I have branlt

old fi>lks acrreiiip, ilmt y<iu were much the pn-
|K;rer match fnr their daughter ; to that I ctMcl
cvcny tnoBicnt they'll ftuid fur you to dcum
ibein from mc: and nothing can pfww mr
success, but your beio^— —

Rei lla, M, ha I a very good slr»ta|;i>ni : IM
there is no nc<^d of it now ; for iht* ri^itl,
■-all lum, >H mv paniculnr fiifnd, and
another numan : au 1 tcU yuu we bant
to fear.

Mar, But I tell you, yon will knod:
pieces. THe finest plot that ever wu laid, taA
you'll spoil it in the hatching;.

hcl. But what occaaioa i» tbrre ? He cu't
marry them both.

Jfor. Speak lower ! Vno think youndf mictitr
him; now ; but here's Hnrluwc's wrront. wbOB I
have tidUcd in the palm, will Cell yoa sDOlhcr
story.

hcL W'hy, here'ft a letter under Itts own hail
Reiul it.

Alar. \Rraiiin^.^ — Urn, am ! * Sooic days pn-
* vuUfly married' — Mip

{AaHe to Sitr

Slip. This i« easily cleared up, sir ! There was
such a tlunn imrpoted by my )ounp aut^irr; Iwt
you mu»t uixion-tnTid, *-ii, thttt Mr llarlowe. iw
nppmvinf; of the terms, has tipped the yowf ■»
man's father a good rounU stun, and so the aAir
is made tip.

Bel. Can it be posaibto thtt be H not ■■»-
ed!

S/i/i. ril uke my oath of it before any taH^
iraie in £ii)>liind.

Mot. Pooh '. married ! what ! bb old koala'

BeK Well, I'll decamp, then : Init why ii aoi
Jenny in vour plot ?

Afar, .^be ! no^ no ; she is not tn be mm''
I soon found out that. 1'ooib aod nail afMMf
us.

Bel. Good Iletnrem ! Uow have I b«M d«»>
red!

Mur. You have irtdeed, mwicr : but we ksi*
no lime for rcflecttuni. If Jenny ihouM set f^
wp arc undone.

Brl. 1> ell, well. I ga I'll auke faoA ym
fortunes if yuu succeed.

Mar. Succeed ! notlung can {iretrcm us, Wt
vour bpiiiie seen.

Btt. ril avvay, ibeo.

Mar. And como not ucar thia lioaw lo4f^
If vou do. I must decamp.

Bel. Well; but, my cknr Iad«, take en*! I
depend uit yuu.

^^AB

AnRlCK.}

BRITISH DRAMA.

m^

Stip. Thai's nil vod hue Eo do ; put your fur-
tune into our hands.

»iUar. And 1*11 w-uruit, via pvo a good ftccouot
tiTit.

ifr/. Think how mjr lutppincw

Mat. IVtUice. no more.

Jki. Depends on you !

Star, tk^onc, I say, Of 111 throw up the

» cards !
[Ent Bel.
Siip, At last he's gone !

Mar. Aud wc have Uiit«tolakeallttle breath;
Ibr this was a hot alartn, failli !

I Slip. I was only afraid thn old ircntlcman, or
Jcnnv. would luirt: surpriftcd us tofpilher.
Mar That would have been a cliitcber ! but
now [ must afmr tliv old gt-nlleinaii for the mo-
ne^. [Ktit.

Siip. And I'll be upon the watch, for fear of
mischief. [Esit.

SCENE II.— ^A apartment in SrortwcLL's

AoilM,

Enter Stockwci-l «nd JE^ kt.

Jen. .Sttll I say, sir-

Stock. And still I say, madam-

JtH, That Mr Bollonrs a Tcry houcst gcntlc-
lan, and yuu ooght to »ciut;li iL

Stock, i ull you, 1 have searched, and probed
it to tiie qmcL — and tl>ut he stwll feel. I know
wcU rnougti you are in his intcri'^t. atKl have
juur iiitere%t in at doin^ ; rim] I'm Mirry you
09aM lind no prettier plot Uuu llu& to tlcfer the
veddinit.

Jen. Lud, sir, do yoo believe —

Stittk. Nii; but I'm sun; un't, that's beU«r.

Jm, Lud ! vuu'd make uue tnad.
L i^Stock. Anti vfNi'd make me a fool, if you
. 9dU. Ni», nn; I'm ati ass, a poor simpleton,
tfaM may be led by ibc noM^ ! but you may tell
my daucliler, thai fehe «hall marry Ilarlowc this
nicht. And >mi may tell your fncnd, Brlford, to
let hts cjpditurs know that thoy ne«d not ^op
proorcdincs. And you, madnmi ntny return to
yum jtlty-ahup, ui>d ^ive my cmplimcnUi to lit-
tle Tom, and alt tltc little laioily, lu, ha, lia !

[£x*l SiocK.

Jm What d<»e* be ipeun bv ihft jcllv-houso —

litjJc Toni and nil the litiie family? There's

floinplfiing at tlu* bfiltom of this I r^annot yet fa-
thom : but 1 Mill falhotii iL [ was never out of
a secret yet, that I hnd a mind !<■ lind out — nnd
tiMt's all that hni-c come acr(»»* oie — and uiy
|Mk1c wiMi't Iri me l»e lone <"■( of this. 1 will ^o
aim^ly >o Mr DcliWd's, where well iiiv our
heads ioet'thrr, and beset «)irb a pie^e nf niis-
chief, (It'll *buil be hard tor the devil himwir, if
be ha« ilic iiuiiuduicc (o try confuaiuos with me.

iEut.

SCENE l]L— The street before Stockweil**
Amue.

Enter SrocKwetL, MaKTiy, and Stip.

Sfock. Come, son-in-law, well Ro to my bank-
er's, aud sec how our auh stands, and tectlo
uiattert as well as we can.

Mar. I'll attend you, sir, with pleasor^— casbi
or nnteo, all the stuue to me.

StiKk, 1 wish you would take the bou-ies. son-*
in-law ; 'twould Ik: more aMivoincoi for me, aud a
greater advontat^c to yo j !

ilar. Advan[a)i;e, sir! I tcom to take m»j
advantaiEe of you — I hate mean views. I de-
sire nothing better than my bargiUD. The mo-
ney and your d»u[<hter's crianns are suAcicnt
for your pwjr Mart humble servant.

Slock. WrII, ncll, come along; wo dou't
c|uUe understand one another.

[Erit,

Mar. But we do. [To Sitp.] TI>o days our
own ; gLt every tiling ready to make our retreat
good.

Siip. Ay, ay, get you the monev, and I'll be
ready with the aquipuf^e. [Exit MAnriN.

*■ Thus far our arms have with success been
crowned :'

I bare only une doubt remaininei and thnt't a-
baut this sauic p<>rLiiHi, I don't nli^ tln» divi-
ding a booty, ilow shall I cheat Martiu? I
ghauld HfMTvp (o be cnnoniied, could I but
cheat tliat rof|;ue of rof^up*. 1 must e'en throw
ibe young lady lo his way, and pervuade him, for
our belter seiunry, to pa» the night with her;
so leave him nitJi tlie slu'll, whilr I shp otTwirh
the keruel. A teuiptin^ bnit ! Uut, no — »tand
olT, Satan ! Tia af^mtnst uur fumlaincutal lans. —
U'e advcuturcra have ten tiincii the ItODour nf
yuur fair traders. [Cotng, ami ttopi.\ Wb?,
what 1 Sure it can't be ! i£uund», if it should ! Ic
is the very man! Our Uttlc, old, withcre*!, licry
^enttenian. by all that's terrible ! from wluit a
(loc dream will this gi>uty mitTirc awake ut! —
He's certainty ftotny to Mr Stockwcirs, and his
fCiin-ponder will blow up tdl at once ! If Martin
and Mr Stockwell dun't return tno soon from (Imi
iMukcr's, I may scad him awuy ; 'tii our but
stake, and I must play it like a gamester.

£a/rrSin Hsrrt Hji blows.

Sir ur. I dou't know how my old fricBtt
SiockMcll may receive ine ufter th» disappoiol*
tnoiit.

sap. Stay till Tou see Mr Stockwcll, my old
frii'iid. [vlu.Jc.] ti\n* me, what do I see! 5ir
Harry, i» it yiu? Ii<ilcedf your bouourf Your
very humble serrant !

402

BRITISH DRAMA.

fGAKRICC.

Sir Htr. I dod't know jnu, friend; keep
your dt^toDce.

{ClapM ki$ hanihi an hit pockcti.

Slip. Doii't jnii kniivr tuo, ur ?

air llor. It cnnniit be Mip, sure! Is ihb the
rrvil't cuMi mjr tun ordered you Tor his vrcd-
diiKtF

Slip. T«, sir ; and « c^ntwl ihinp it is upnn
inc. Wlml, yuu liarl a mind In surprise ytmr
t icnd»' Who thnuirlic of you at London, sir?

Sir Hnr. I »et uiit Minn after <r»n. lame a% I
«vfli. ] bcthouKlit mc. ir l"'>koH better to ftultlc
mmien of sarti cf'n«cqtienre with Mr Slockwrll
vivn votx, tlitui lo iru-st it to a xirnint.

sup. You were bI««t« a nice obwrvcr of de-
t9Qnjm»! yon are lp>iiig now to Mr Stockw«II'**

•Sir Har. Directly. fGoinp in knock.

Slip. Iloiti voiir d«prru(e Itmid ! and thank
Forcuue tliat ttrougUt im> hith«r for yonr refr-
eue.

Sir Har. WTiy, wfiat's I'lC matter ? Rescue me,
^uoitt-a ! Have you »ccii llicrn. ^>ttp ?

Slip. Sccii (hmi ! By, and felt them, ton. I
amju»t e4c:i[ied. llic old Iiidy is in a dnnnicd
uavinn with vou, I nm tpU you.

Sir Har. With me!

Sfip. Ay. that shr is, Ho»«-, wys »hr. doesilie
ohi fotd ihirik to foh us off with a Hitm and a
ftlmin of a dirry tri)llup? Mu>t my d)iut:ht«r'it ro>
putntinn— anti, tlien, the bridled and stalked up
Co mc thus, Bir.

&r liar. How! but there's uo antiwcring n
filly nmnan : how can thin ailcct her daughter's
character?

Slip. Tbni's what I Mid. Madam, nya I

but you can't cvpert n woman in a fiirv to Iienr
reason : 'tis almost as much as they ran do.
whtii ihey arc cool. No, no; as for her aretj-
ment, it was ud stuff! Will the world, saya shv,
believe nuch a- no, no; they'll think tiic

old hunks hn^ fuunij .some Haw in our cirtum-
btanrcs, nnd so won't stand tu his bargain.

•Sir Hiir. I'uli ! Nothing disgin»e» a woman
like passion. Though ic may become a roan
iometimri— ^

sup. Lud, sir? you would not know her n-
liniu — her eyes stare in her head, anH sUp cxtn'l
>cc a rrwture. On a HiHlHen. (lor I nii»hod tlit
argument pretty home) ehe caught hold of niv
throat, tlms, Mr ; and knucki'd me down with the
butt end of her fan.

Sir liar. Did she? But what did her hut»lmnd
s.iy to tilts? Let us hear tliat.

Slip, Oh. »ir, 1 fotitxl him pretty rcu^nahle !
He only ftliewed me tlwdoor, ai>d kicked mc
down Ainin.

•Vi'r Hur. if hcS fur llut work, we can kick,
loo.

Sftp. Ilcnr sir, consider your Eout.

Sir liar. No. sir! wlieii my bloud i$ up, I nt-
var feci tbe gout. But could llie; posaibly take

it amt«s tltat I conspnfed to my aoaV mariiay }
I H^tiiht you did not exptuiu circuiBSCanoei^

Stip. 1 told ihrm ptatn etioaeh : I thowghi
my younit niiUter, liavinK bcg^n the
the wrong end, the family wert- eomf; d'li
III law; and tlwtyou had itehaved liwV a man ol

Iwnour, aad wry wisely computttidcd tnal-

tcrs.

Sir Har. Aiut did not thi« conTiaw iIimb?

Slip. 1 M>y convince ! Tb»y are id a pretty
temper Vt i>c coiivmeed ! If ynu wotdd take a
fools cnnnM*!, ytni should return to *u«r ina,
nnd never think of conrinrine ibem.

Utr Har. They are for kickine. are ther? I
could havi' kicked pretty well mytelf one*. ' We

sltaJl Me what they would be at

[Omnfi, itrtopt AySirr.

Slip. Imlerd, air, you sbuJI not. What! tavr
your face scratched by an old woman, or be rao
through tlic iMMly with a rusty swurd r Indeed yoii
ihali nor.

>Sir Har. [Endeavonring to draw kit tBm4\
We have awurds, that run thruueh bodies >■
nell a) they: ay, and piatulv too ! If he aiU
r)uarrel, I'm bis niim. Sicel or lead, *tu aUoor
to mc. A pasMonaK old foul ! Ill cool bin;
kick me down stairs .'

Slip. I>irrt, sir! yoii are so hot f You for^pf;
it was me he kicked down stair^, not v<>u !

.Sir Har. T'a the same thing, sir.' Whociw
kicks )ou, kicks m# by proiy—nar, won*; yaa
have only the kicks, but 1 ha»u llic afirnnl-^—

Sfip. U the kick* are the hc«t, I stmll be cMh-
lent with ilw wui^t another time. UndoM^ mir
done ! I'tiiti way. this wjty, ur. Lrt u« gv tb»
way there will certainly be bUiudshra.

.Sir Har. What is the matter, you foolf WIm
art afiaid of?

Slip. Don't yoa see MrStoekwcl) CDiningthii
way ? J}ies9 me. Inw ho »iamt ! lie's mad widi
passion. Uon'c meet blm, air llarry. \m
are out of wind, and have not jmi-'---* - rrr*
tvhilc, and he'll certainly Iw too nn :—

Sir Har. I won't aroid him. .M , j op

Bi well as his; if tJte fool will be for figbUaf—
let him take what (ollow.s. Hold mv caoc, ftt^

[Cixkt ku M.

Slip. Ay, *ti» fill aveF.--If Martm Im ko
j;nt the monc}', wc may retire while tbe ckaOf^
ons are at it.

Enter Oi.i> .''TorKTCLL and Maktyv— JHoci-
WCLL mth a beg and Hotrt im kit kmni.

Stock. Wc will count our mooer and Wk
m-cr aipiin, ai^n the wniini:;% and tl>eo, son, tn
sinpngand dancing, and

Mar, Don't ^ve ynuraclf that troublr. Ur

Stixrkwell ; ainoafi fneiKls yuu koox po?'

let mc case you of that ttci^lic

[Offcrt to ukt th ■n>y>

I

I

I

p

Gakrite.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

463

^ocAi. No, no, son; yoii shan't have * far-
thing more ur lew tljnn your bursHiti. Wc citi-
Ecns are t-inct, Kitd muw have t.ur way. in fium.

sup. Zouiidt ! he has not t>ot lUc tax^ncy ! We
mu^f have a nrminbU? fnr it at Insi, then !

S(f J/flr. Now he cye4 me ! I'll be lu ficrix-
•t bo ; now for it^^ltem, ficni '

[Bruttln up.

[During this, Martin and^urmakfttgnt,
amd approttch each other by drgrect.]

Siaek. F.h ! tuirc, if mv vye% (hm'l itcrcive me,
tWrt^ it soiiiebodv rcry tike my old fnoiiii and
ytMir r&lticr, nir llarn* jl;irlctive I

Sfip. UAinnitblT like, indeed, sif !

Str liar. [Ic looks like the devil at me ; but
ril tte even v,iik\ hnn.

Stock. Whnt, mv dear frinid, is it too i

Sir H»r. None of v'JMr hviMehlicxI palavers
wilh IBS ! Keep vmir di^tancct you di»»cmhhin:
old fool TOu. or I'll te-.ifii you rKller m«iiiier»,
Uian t> kicW my mtvahc dottit stnire.

Stock. Wluttdo jou mean, »r Harry? — He'*
mul Mirc !

I'flxy ttmnd end itart mt each other, und Si a
IUhkv »hakn his tuvrd.

Mar. Nothiite I'fin anvc us now, Slip !

S^ip. Trip up hi^ hccis, and fly with the mrv-
Bcv tu the pM-cimise ; while 1 tread upon mv
oJd matter'^ tiic\ that he mayn't follow ut.

Xiar. We huve nothing eUc for it'-ilave at
ibcm !

Stoek. Nrfy, but Mr Harry ! ,

[As they apprcack the o\d gentleman, Btt.-
fOkD come$ in behind with comtabics, tnd
atitCj them.^

Be/. Have I niunht yoo, nucalt! — in the very
■ick too ! .Secure theiu, con^tnhleit.

Stock. What, in the name of wonder, are you
about t

Bel. I hare a double pleasure io thik ; fur I
bare out imly discovered tW'i villains. Nut nt the
I verv time, ur, (heir villainy wa» taking cflect U>
make you mi»erahle.

Sir Har. Two villains* ^fr Sti»rkwell, di vmi
benr thit' Eipluni yourself, ftir ; ur blouJ and
brintAtniiei- ^ ■

StiKk. Kxplaiu, Mr Flfrlford!— Sir Harry Ilar-

1 Jowe! What ii all tJiit! 1 uin all stupcfac-

I tiofi !

Bet Is this «ir Harrv f I am your hninhle M-r-

TBOtt lir. I have not the hoituur to lie known

•u yiiu, but am a parlicular urfjuainlttnre of your

I A0o'» ; %ho has Ureu iaiv«'preM-niefl here, by tbiil

pretty eenttemnn, once ti msca) uf mine.

Air Jiur. I'm in a wood, ajid don't know how
I IO iset <rti( of it !

JStock. It it'H this your Mn. sir Harry ?
Sir Har. Nn, you pn^^irinuip old UfA ! hut
[ ihb H my lervant, aitd uty urn's pimp, whuai J

under^mnd you hare been ktckin|E down itninl
Stock. Urn;'» a (inc Iteap ot rojjucry !
Itrt. It wa» my uoud fottnne, by tl»e intelli-
gence and instifpition of Mrv .Irony, to diwo%-cr
thr n hole before iJicsc wretches tad occumpli^r*
ed their dc^i^ns.

Stock. What a hHir-brcadlh 'ecnpe hare I had !
as the piict says, rhc very brink of de^trucuon !
for I should have fiven him the cath in 5ve mi-
nntef. I'm in a cold sweat nt die thoughts of
it! Dear Mr DeJford !

[SAaftcj Aim fry the hand,

Emter Mu SrccKwcLt, Mtu, und Jcxsv.

JIfri StiKk. O, Mr Stociwetl ! here are Ane
doings coirt^ f'^rward. Did not I tf II you, tlvit I
•Attn for Mr tk'lford frum the bcpinoin;^.*

Stock. I )un*t trouble us now, wife; yoo have
been for and against him twenty times id four
and ivkfuty hours.

Jen. [Io MxariN atid Stir.] Your humble
•MTvant, Ji^ntlenteu ! What, duntb nnd asliamed

iiNi ! tlir mit ^-lieine yuu go abuut, take

irare that there is not such a girt as I withia
twenty miles of yuu.

Mar. I wiftli we ncfc twenty miles frutn joUy
with ntl mv soul !

Sitp. As v'Mi don't like our eompany, madam,
rtc'll retire, ^(ioinf! cidui/.]

liel. I iold ihem fa*!, conUnhles ■- Thry mn**
Ktve Mmic ncconnt of iheinitehrH at the ( >td
Uftiley, and thca pcrhnpa they may retire to oyr
plnntarinnii.

Sir Har. But what have rhfv done ' or what
will yttu do^ or wluit atu 1 to ilo? I'm all m ti>e
dark— pitch dark-^—

5ror«. Is vour ton married, sir Harry f

Sir Hnr. Vc% a furtniahi a»;o r and this fel-
low you kicked downstairs was sent with my
FXrujes.

Slock. I kieked him down suirs! You vilbin
you

Bet Don't di<«turb yoiinirlf with whnt is pn»t,
but rejoirc a' your deliverance If vou and nir
I furry w ill |iennit me tu attend you within, I wiU
at'nuaiiit you with ilic whole UiMfiess.

Sir Hor. I «ec the whole business t»ow, »tr.
Wc liuve lieen lltcir l*i>ols.

Sloek. Aod titty arc otir Inare*, and shall
Miffer nt such. 'I'fianks to Mr lltfUord Iwre — luy
elKid pntol, thut has saved my lU.OOOl. !

Sir Har. He has sored your family, Mr Sioct-
well.

Bet Could yon but think, sir, my good ser-
vices to your family might intitle mv to be one
of it !

Miii Nan. You'd mnkc your daughter happy,
by Kiviiif; her tn yuur best frirud.

Mrt Slock, yii de^ii : Tur once bear mc aod.
reason, and make them both Inippy.

464

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gaviicc.

Stock. You thall be happy, Belford. lUce
my daughter's hand. You nave her heart. You
have deserved her fortune, and shall have that,
toil. Come, let us go in and examine these

culpritii.

Sir Ear. Right, Hr Stoctwell. Tis a good
Uting to punish villaioy ; but 'tis a better to make
virtue bappy : and ao let tu about it.

h -

MEN.

SrftToBY Fo», } n 4 • t

Cli», thetmHiar.

Wilson, attached to Miss Fut

M\uviti,AuJriend.

P*Ti>T, tAt manager.

lioFs.} s% prompter.

Aaunders. carpenUr.
JoBMSTOK, hoiuektrper.

WOMEN.

Ladt Fd«, >

Fir*/ Stteeprr.
Secnnd Sireeprr.

DJLIJMrW PERSOTijE TO ORPHEUS.

Chnnii of Shrpherits.
RuODOrz.

Sttne— London.

ACT L

I

SCENE l.—Cavtnt Garden.
Enter WiLiio:^ and Mekvin, booted.

Wil Mr dear Jack, ten thotisand thmkt for
your punctualitjr— r«ndjf equipped, I see, lo senr
yuut fne nd.

Aier. Bu! how cmn I serve you, my young
Don Qriurjitc? Am 1 to be yuur Sanchii, wliilc
TOUT Lniiflit fimuilshiD U runQUig away with this
X>utcioca del Tobuior

iriV. ] bare given orden, that mr poat-chaisr:
ahftll wait in the broud tvur by Kxctcr 'Change,
Bud the momeikl the lady steps from her chair
fo the rJiaise. tlic po»uliooft will crock their whip»,
■nd drive awny likt ii^htuin^.

I v*L, la

iter, ^ou arc a ramaatic fpllow ! flow can
youpossibly imei^ine, that yourbot-hendedscheioo
to run away with tlus young lady can ever be
executed?

Wil. From ttie justice of my cause. Jack.

Afgr. Jufttice ! MaU that out, and niy con-
acicncn will be cuy.

Wil. Did not her father'^ uncle, who wa» a
2<md lawyer, and dieaicd my father of ihree-
tuurths of Ills fortune, Ipbw her near iJiirty ihnu-
ifind puunds' Now, tliis it my reayminc — Sir
Toby'x uncle nui away with tome thouMuds front
my fttlhcr, I »hall run away with sir Tohy'i
daughter: t)ii9Wttl brin|: the said IhouMndi back
to mc agiun, \ritb whidi I'll p«y off old scoreS)

3N

46a

BRITISH DRAMA.

[GAKBlCtf.

strike a balance in my Tavour, nnd get a good
wife into the borgnin. There's justice for you !

Aler. Aye, justice witli a veugcnnce ! But why
must sir loby be punished for the sins of his
uncle ?

Wil. I'll ease your conscience there, too; My
mother, ut my father's death, ti>ob nie, a boy, to
flir Toby and mv lady, to solicit their kinoncsi
for me — lie piave me half-a-crown to buy gin-
gerbread ; and her ladyship, who wa« combing a
fat lap-dog, muttered, ' There was no fend of
maintuiniii}: poor retntions.'

JVJcr. I linve not a qualm left — But did you
really pass for a strolling player Inst summer, Eo
have a pretence of being near her father's
house f

Wil. Yes, I did, nnd, as Polonius says, was
accounted a good actor.

Mer. What could put that unaccountable
frolic in your head ?

WiL To giun the favour of sir Toby's family,
as a strolling placer, which I could not as a pour
relation. They are fond of acting to madnirss,
and ray plan succeeded ; 1 was so altcr*.d they
did nut know me ; thoy liked nie much, came
to a benefit which i pretended to have, invited
nte to their house, and Miss met me privately,
after 1 had played llangcr and I>ithario.

Mer. Aye, aye, when a young lady's Head is>
crammed with combustible scraps of plays *^c i$
always ready primed, and will go off (if you will
allow me a pun) the very first opportunity.

Wii. I discovered ni)self to ine young lady,
and her generosity was so great, that slie resolv-
ed to marry me to make me amends; there are
refined feelings for you I

JWcr. Aye, double refined ! — she is more ro-
mantic thnn you. Wilt — But did nut you run a
great risque of losing her, when she knew you
was only a gentleman, and not a player i

Wil, lU'ad that letter, and tell me if my cas-
tles are built in (he air f [Gives a letter.

Mer. ' [Rfflc/i.] i shall be with my papa and
' mamma to see a rehearsal at Drury-Lane Plav-

* house on Tuesday niornini;; if my present incli-

* nations hold, and my henrt does not fail me, I may
' convince honest Hunger, what confidence I hare in
' his honour. — Postscript. — If I don't see you

* then, I don't know when I shall see you, for
' tre return into the country next week.'

Wil. Well, what think you?

Mer. O she'll run away with you most cer-
■ tainly —

Wil. 1 must not lote time then. [Looking at his
tcatih.] I must go and take my stand, tbat the
deer may nr>t escape me.

Mer. And I'll go and take mine, to help you
to carry off the ven'son — This is very like poach-
ing, W'dl — But how will you get admittance into
Drury-Lane Theatre f

WtL I was very near being disappointed there ;
sr uuIuckiljT the acting oioaager, who scarce

reached to my third botton, codced np his bead
in my face, and said I was much too tall for a
hero — however, I got the Uberty of the scenes, by
desiring to rehearse Hamlet next we«k — But I
hope to cross the Tweed with the fair Ophelia
before t!iac time, and finish my stage adventures
by appeariiit: the first time in the charactw of a
good hushuiid.

Mfr. Success attend you !

Wil. This is <be day,
* Makes me, or mars, for ever and for aye f—
If I succeed, I !>hnll be restored to my fadwr*!
citate, drink claret, nnd live like « gentkmin
with the wife of my heart; and, egad, forai^
I know, stard for the countY.

Mer. If not, you must be confioed to your
littleonc hundred and twenty pounds a yearfani^
make your own cliecse, marry the curate'sdai^
tcr, hnve a dozen children, and brew the iMst
Octolier in tlie paribh.

Wil. Which ever way fortune will dispoieof
me, I shall be always happy to see my fnendi,
iuid never shall forget my obrigations to tliee, m;
dc.tr Jack. {^Shakes him by the Imni.

Mer. Well, well ; let us away — we have too
much business to mind corapliments.

[EreuHt aevtrailf.

SCENE IL—The Play-house. 2Vo wmt»
saeeping the stage.

lit Worn. Come, Betty ; dust away, duUHnrr,
girl ; the managers will be here prcKCDtly ; tbot'i
no lying in bed for them now, we are up nrir
and late ; all hurry and bustle from moniin^ to
nii;ht ; I wonder what the deuce they have p3l
into their heads?

2rf Worn. Why to get money, Mrs Bemo, w
be sure; the folts say about us, that the olber
house will make them dltr their stamps, aad
they'll luakc us stir ours; If they are in motJoo,
we must not stand still, Mrs Besom.

Isl Woin. Ay, ay, girl, they have met «id
their match, and we shall alt suffer for it ; fur mf
part I can't go through the work, if ther are il-
ways in this plaguy hurry ; I have not'dnu^ i
coiiifortable dish of tea, since the house opened.

id Worn. One had better die tliaii be KcUfi
and hurried about as we are by the boa**
keeper ; he takes us all for a parcel of aetien, I
believe : pray, give us a pinch of your saui^ Vi*
Besom.

[Thev lean upon their brooms, and takesnf.

ist tVom. Between you and I, Bet^, maiatt
two brooms, the house-keeper is f^wn a littk
purse-proud; he thinks himself a et««t acur
forsooth, since he played the Scotch fdlow, aai
the fat cook in queen Mab.

Zd Worn. Tlie quality spoils him, tooi vk^
woman, he talks to them for all the world ai ■
he was a lord !

lit Worn. I shall certainlj re»ga, as the (ittf

Oarrick.]

BRtTISH DRAMA.

folks rail it in the ncwjpnpor, if ihet^i-ofi'i i>ro-
inise III pYt me thr tinti drosvr'n pincc thnt fiitls,
imd mnke our luili- Tommy a pn^r ; whnt, wnni-
■a! though we arc well pnid lor nitr work, we
ot^ht 1o raake sure of tmiirihin'! wlirn nw
brooms »re uken from os — 'm ihr fajliiun, Bpi-

IT.

id Wttm. Kighi, riglit, Mr* Bewm ; twrrice is
no iahentance, ntid to be alivaj^ rloins dlny
work, and to ha«e ii'i pmipect w real, and
clcftD aarxlvea, is the curae onlt of u* poor
foiWs.

Iif Worn. Yuii ntid I will drink a di.vh of teit
together in mmfort thi« arierDoon, iitul talk ovr-r
tliese and odicr inatlcn> — but mum — lurc'i ttir
prompter. [^V^ ""^f "'"^ *'f^''P tf^"*n.

Enter Hopkiks.

Ifop, Come, come, awft; with roiir brooms,
•nd clear the fttoge : the msna-im'witl be bcrc
<ljrcctlj. [The nr€fp<rs hurry itgf.\ Where are the
carpenters ? — C'arpcnlcrs !

A Carpenter above.

Car. Wliat do yoti wmit, Mr llopkinft?

Hop. \\ hat do I want ? Come do» n, and set the
•Ccno for elic new Bnrlftta of Ornlieas.

Cor, We nn'i ready for it ; the bcn^tii arc row
in tiand — tUcy un'i tiiii»i>cd.

Htm, Not tiiii^licd ibc lieaMs ! Iiere'* fine
work! the managers nnd author will he here

directly, and imthinR readt fie, fio. fie !

Bmundtn I Saunders !-^ — [Caiit oul.

£ii(ep Sai'Mdcrs.

Saum. Here ! here !~-Zooki, what a faawliiii;
yoa make ! do keep rour breath for your pniuifi-
in^ Master Hopkins Bn<l Kod it not after me at
(fall nUc~— I'm not deuf !

Ifi'p. But jiour uicn are, and asleep too, I be-
lieve: I ran't ^el a »ul of them nenr me; 'lis
Bee o'clock, [ I Miking al hit Watch.] and not n
•cene prepared for the rehearsal; 'us I hholl he
blamed, and not yno.

Saun. filnincd for what ! Til but n rclionrsnl,
■nd of oue act only — wnuld yon Itare us to liniyh
our work, before the poet hat done h'»i Han't
JOS kaow, tiuit car[ientcr» are always tlic last in
■ house? and yet y<ui want u« to i;et oul of it,
bef<>n* die auilior htu corcrrd in !

Um. You may be oa witty as you please;
but the mnnajEers will do aft tbcy please, ana
they have promised die author to rehearse the
firat act of his U'jrletta of Urpiieus diis mnrnii)|;,
•a he pleases with all the proper »ccnes, dresses,
Buichiiicry, and rauBic; so, wliat u{^ifies nil our
pratini;?

Saun. Very little, ni yon ray — but damn all
ibcae new Tncarit-s, that |Hit ua hII uptjo our hcnds
lOpay versy !— mj men hare sat up all iiight.

nnd I Iwvc finished ererf thing bot the Dancing
Cows.

Hap. Bless my henrt, man, the author de-
pends ra()«t upon hi:- cfw^ '

Sni/n. fli? ct»wb! bow came (hey to be hit?
they nri my rows; ih'-sc poet* are pietty fcl-
lowV fuilh ! iJicy »ny HI have a flvinp rirvd, or » |
dancing Le»r. or iiny such connndniin; "hy 'lia ■
eaitly Miid, hut v>\ut is tu iitnle diem ttj, ond j
danre? ho, MoWcr Prompter? Why jioor Pill
Gnrlir — ihc iiiidieiice npptniids <hf* aulhnr is
ctiit«iird; hut ilie tjritei>rir i« netcr thoueht of. i

//('/». TIm'W lire hikla tiuth*, Mr Soiindrfs,

&rNii. WItv, iltfu, out with llicm, I sny — ^reat
men spin llic brunit of lliv liltlr oncn, nnd lake
the credit of them. Du you know Ik>w I waa '
M-Tv'cil ill our dramatic romance of Cvinoa ? i

Hop. You did your buMne&s well ificre, parb-
cularly in tlie U^t scene,

Sauo.' And what was the consn^uctice? One
fine eentlrninn in the Ixixes said, mv master
brou'^lit it t'rym Itiily — * No, damn it («ts ano-
ther, lHliiL|> suuilj I Miw the very same idtiig at
Pnri9;*.whei' yon nil kmrn, licre behind the M'eneft,
tliat tl»e whole di-si^o cttittv from tint head; nnd
tlie pxecoltim fnnn thoM' hand^'^hut nothing can
be done b? nn Fjielishmnn now a days ; and so
your »crviiiil, Mr Hopkins. \Ofunp.

Hop. HarkV, Snnnders? the manncer* have oi^

dered ine to diftihnree tlie mnn ni ihr hehtiiing;

li«i wjt VI dniiik ihn Init Hmr he (1;i^lii-ii, that lie

has singed all iJic clouds on tha'. vide the btaee.

[/*tn'ji/tM^ to tlie floudt,

Savn, Yo^ yes* 1 see it ; nnd Imrk'c f he hat
burnt a hole in (he nf w mtrade, mid »et fire to
the diowcr of rain — hut tnura —

/fry). The deuce I he must he disrhftmjed di-
rcctJy. [flsit Sauvders.

Pal. [U'tVAmt/] \^'here*atllc prompter?

Hop. Mere ] ntn, sir.

Enter Patent.

Pat. Make ha-itn widi yourscTiit-v Saunders;
*fi, clear the •kfii^r, Mr Hopkins, and let us go tn
bu^ine^-s. Is the extmordinary nutlinr of this very
tTimnnlinory performttDM come yet t

Hop. Not yei, sir. but we shall l>c soon rendr
for him. Ti^ a very cstranrdinarv ihin^t indeed,
to rehearse only one act of a pcrformant-e, and
with drcwet and dceoraduns, u if it were really
before nn audience.

Pat. It is a noTclty, indee<l, and a little eipcn-
eirc too. but wc could not vithmnnd tUe solicita-
tions, ihnt were mado to ui; wo shao't often re-
peat tlie same ezpcnmenL

Hop. 1 hope not, sir; 'tis a very rrunhlesomft
one, and the performers miirmur cn-ntly at it.

Pat. When do tlic perfunoers nut murmur,
Mr Hopkins? Has any momio^ passed lo your
umc without some grievance or anutber f

Hop. I have half a dozen now in my pocket
for you. \^Fceling in hU pocktt /or papert.

t

J

468

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gabrick.

Pat. O, pmy, let's h«Te tliem ! my old break-
fasi — [Frumpfer giret tkrm.] — And itic old sior^
• — Actresses qu&rrelLiiig about pnrt5; tlicrc's not
otir itf them hut thinks herself youiie; cnou{*h for
aity piirr; nnd not n youne one bul thinks her-
lelf capable uf tmy port ! But tl)«ir betters qu^r-
xrl nbout what thejr are not fit for; so our la-
dies bHTe* Bt Ica&t, ercnt precedents fur tlteir
foily.

llnp. Til* ynung fellow fmin Eilinbur|[b
won't ficccpt of the second lord; be dc&ires to
haiT the fim.

Pat. r don't doubt it— Welt, well, if the ou-
Ihor can make him speak English, I bnvu oo ub-
jwriion.

Hop. Mr Hantly U intlispoMil, and can't
pinv to-morrow.

Pat. Weil, Kv\], let hislungs rest n little; tbey
want it, I'm »ure. What a campniini »hnl| we
make of it t all our subnltemi will be general nlB-
cers; and our geocmls will ouly fi){ht. wbcn they
plrakc.

Glib. [K'l'/Auu/.] 0 he's upon the slagr, is tic?
I'll Ro to him— — -

Pnt. Here conie« ihc author; do you prepare
the people for ihv: n-himrMil ; dr»irc tliein to be
as riiretul, as if they were to perform before an
ftu<ii«>nL-e.

Iltip. I wilt, sir — Pray let us kuow when we
nuisi begin. [Eatt.

Jinter Gli*.

Clili. Dear ^\r Patent, nm not I too late f Do
make ine hapi^y at once: I hnrc been up^m tho
rack this Imlf hour— But the ludiea, Mr Patent,
the Ladies

Pat. Out where are ilie ladies sir?

GUI', 'riiry'll he licrr in the drinking nf a nip
of lea; I left theru all at brcnkfo&t; lady Fuz
can't slir frnm home witlinut some refreslimenL
Sir Macaroni Virtu wai mit come when I left
litem ; he trciterally fiils up all ni^ht, and if he
gets up l>efnrtf two o'clock, he only walks in liin
»!ecp nil llie rest of the day — He is pt'rbiip* llie
inort accomplished connoisseur in the three king-
doms; yet ho is ncrer properly awoke till other
people go to bed ; however, if' he ftlinnld eoine,
our litlle performance, I bclicre, will rouMi hito,
ha, ha, ha t you undcraland mei A pinch of ce-
phultc only,

Pat. I liave the lionour of knowing him a
little — Will sir Macaroni be here t

Glib. VVhy be promised, but Iw's too polite to
be puiictunl^You understand me? ha, ha, ha! —
however, I »m pretty sure ve sliall tee him — I
have a secret, for you — not a loul miirt know it —
he bus composed two of the songs in my burlct-
ta — An admirnble muncian^ but particular — He
has no great opinkm of me, nnr indeed of any
^j else ; a rer; tolerable oDe of himaelf— aad

so I beliove he'll como — V<m wndentBul me—
ha, ba, ha \

Pat. I do, sir^But, prat. Mr Glib, why did
not you complete your burtctta — 'tis rety net
with us to rehearse OUT one art only ?

Glif>. By a sample, Mr Fntcnt, ynu may know
ll»e pitTc : if you appnivc, ynu sbnll i CVTf waat
nuvclty ; I am a very spider at »ptluiio|e mj '•«•
brains hn, ho, ha! alaaya at it, ^piu, afiini «fiD—
yt>u undrriinud uie ?

Pat, Esireiucly well— In your icaaaii act. I
supnwse, you iiitend to bring Orpbrus ioto brll^

Gidh. 6 yes I make him fimy the tlevil tbm:
I send him for some beuer purpose than iof«di
his wrifc. Iin. hn, ba ! Dou'l iui<tlake me— vfcik
he is upon earth, 1 make him a very Bood tMi
of n maiH— tie kecp^ a miMrcs», imlero, bat tei
wire\ deud, tou know; ami* «crc iJti- alive, aca
rrnirii harm m ihat, fur I make him a man nf (»-
shion — 1-asbion, you know, is all in all -\au mp-
der«tni)d ine ? t'pon u qaabn of roni^acacc, he
quii» hts miaire«s and sets nut fur bell, w iih a rc-
soluliiin in fetch his wife— —

Pi't. U iliat, too, like a man of fa>l»ion, Hr
Glib ?

Glik Xn, iltai's the moral part of him— Ht'*
a mixed cliaracier— but, as he approacliM tad
^eis into the infernal rfpons, his pnnriplcii niri)
awny by tk-yrCfs, as ii «epc, I y tlu; Ileal of il»
rlimute ; and findini; thai bis wife, KurnUtt >
kepi l>v riuto, be nnnipdiately imike^ up tn Pm>
Dcrpiiic, and is kept by bcr; thru llic\ aII '<■'
agree matters amicably — t'lmm:*' ponneis M«d»
may say, mukc a fcenteel parttc quarrcct, tad fr
ni»h the whole with a Miof^ and a chorus — mkI*
^litioer it is — The subject of the aoa|; is, tfc* ■•'•'
pruvcrb, " eiclttuige i> no robbery,^ and llw H'-
rus runs thiifr- ■

We care not or know,
la mntiers of love,
Whiit is doing above.
Dui. this tli>* )' ^'ic faslitna below.

T believe iluki's true satire, Mr Patent; stfOifiii
poienunt ; ynu uaderalnod nic. f

Pat. O very well ! 'tis Chmn pepper iato^.
a little will ip» a great woy.

Ghl. 1 make ()r)>hcm see* iu my belbaR*'*
of people, of all drurce^ nnd ocxrupotioM; >}k
and of butb setefi — that's not wry uanuaris '
bfllieve — there shall be very good cotupaoycj
I assure you ; high life below ataira. at I
hn, ha, ha ! you take me—* dcmhle . -^-
boyVplny — rip and tear — tbe limea n^mm t^
forlfe, forlissirob' -■

Pat. Won't it be too fon^? Take me. Ur
Glib, not to make it so moch atiovc print, ^
the boies can't taste it. Take aire af ivR
boxes!

I
I

I

Gakbick.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

409

GtiL Zmpty boxcA ! Ill a^agc, tiiat m; Or-
berui alonn shall fix the buiei for a maotli.

Put. Cerberui !

Glib. Be quiet a little. You Lnow, 1 soppaw,
ihat C4rbcruft i» a do^ and luu three heads r

Pat. I havn beard as much.

CIA. Then von tball lee bowa sport — He shnll
be a camica) Jog, too, I warrant you, hit, ha, ha !

Put, WlMt, u Cerberua a duracter in your
performance f

Glib. Capital, capital ! I have ilirowo all my
raocy and lavcDtinn into hi» inoulh. »r rathcr
mouths — there are tlirt-e of tlirm, you know.

Put. M'»« certaiuly, if there »ic tlirtr hcucU.

GfA. i*oh, thai\ nothin« In what 1 have in
petto for you — (ibnT^e inc now — wIh'ii Orj^iciis
ooines to the gates of hell, Ccrhrrtis suips hiiu —
but how, how — now fur it — giitrirt

Pat. Upon my wul I can't \imn\s.

GiA. 1 make his three heads sing a triu.

Pol. A trio?

Glib, A trio! I knew I nhonld hit von — a
«rio, treble, tenor, and ba&s — and wbnt »huil ihcy
atngf nothing in (he world but. Bow, wow, wotv \
Orpbaus begins

O bnrk not, Cerberus, oor grin—
A »tnin|;cr, sure, to pass within,
Your ^^oodnen will allnw !
Bow, now, woM- !

Treble, tenor, and ban — ^Then Orpheus shall
tickle his lyre, and treble, tenor, and bass, shall
&)1 a«leep by deerpes, and une after another,
Cainter anil fBinti?r — Bow, wow, wow~ fast, you
ttuderstand me t

Pat. Xtrj ingenious, and very dcw — I hope
che cnticH will iinderttand it.

GUi. I will mnkc every bodv understand it, or
fny name is not Dcirv-duwn Glib — VViicn [ write,
Chc whole town sliall understand nie — You uu-
ilrr^tand me?

Pat. N«il %cry clearly, sir; but it i) no matter
— Here's your company.

^jUer SikTobt, I>«nv Tvz, Sta MACAnoxi
ViRTr, and Mis* Fiz.

CUh. \ju\'Kt and erntlrtoen, van do me ho-
nour; Mr Patent, sir Tubv, and Min Fiix, and
th*a sir Mnnironi \'irtu. [All Utw and curtiey.]
&r Toby, one of the managers.

} introducing Patcitt.
_ the nwntiger't tnosi

bumble niid nbcdlfnt.

iihb. 1 lake it as a mo-tt partirulnr cnmpli-
nsent, sir Macamm, that you would attend m\
itiflc at M> eaHv in tiour.

Sir Hac, Why, faith. Glib, without o compli-
fiK-nt. I hail mut-h rather Ik: in bed tluin here, or
9uy wluifc else. [Kakuu.

LMt/y fm*. I bave a prodigtcmi quripMiy to

see your pby-houM> by day^liglil, Mr Manager :
have not you, ur Macaroni?

Sir Mae. O no, my lady, I norer hare Boy cti-
riosicy to see it at all. [ Half atiefp.

Pat. I will prepare aocne tea and lIum: ifauo m
the fcrecn-room for the ladies, wtiile the prompter
preparer matters for the rehearsal.

ijoHjf Fui. I never breakfast but oace a day,
Mr Manager; sir Toby, indeed, never rcfusei
any lliir^ at any time ; he's at it float momiof
till' niij;Iit

Sir Toliif. I love tn be social, my dear ; be-
»ides, trifling with ten. chocolate, mnoiroons^
bisqiicis, iiimI such ilitogs, it never reckuui.d tiai*
ing, you knot*.

Glib. Y'ou are indrfaligably ohli'jins. Mr P^
tent. [Ksit Patekt.

^fits Fmt. Bless me, papa, what a stran)^* place
thi« ih ! I uni Mire I bliould not hare known it
atiaiu— I wonder wliere he is ! 1 wish 1 could get
n peep at him ; and yet I am frighted nut of my
wit*. [Aiiilf, and liMkmg ubout.

Hir Tobjf. Now the uiana^icr is gone, one may
venture to say, thut the play-house is no mon>>
inx beauty; paint and candle-li|;ht arc aa creaC I
friendj to the theatres i^* *° the ladies; they
hide many wrinklcs^d'jn't tlicy, Mr Glib? tui,
ha, ha !

Oltb. You have hit it, sir Toby, and this is the
old huuv, too, ha, ha, ha !

[ilia Tonv »Afa» hit daughter thr tctmst, ,

Ijidv Puz. [ Ijmiking obmU aith a glau.) My
dear ^ir I'ohy, you, you nuiT be aa Mrcastuol u
yuu pleairf? ; but I pmtr«i, a piny-houae k a pn^
di^iuuti odd sort of a thing, iiiiw tliere is oobody
io it — is it not, ^ir Mui'aniiu ?

Hir Mac, O yes, and a prodii;i'ni!i odd sort of
a tiling, when *tib full tou — I ntxitninate a play-
house; my iiiftruiotts coiiittrvineu have no luste
now for llie hi^h st^avonrd rouicdiM; and 1 ara
sure that I have n^ate for tite pnp imd lupluliy nf
our present wriiurs.

OlA. Bmvn, lir Macnroni ! I would tu>t prr
a pin fur n ptnr, no uuire tiain a partiidge, that
has not lite lumct.

Sir Afitc. Not nmiss, faith ! Iia, hn, ha !

l^dy Fuz. Don't Irt us lose tunr. Mr Glib;
if they arc not ready for the rrhcnrsul, su|)uom
the iruuia^er entertains us wuh thunder and light-
nini;, and lets u« see lu» lrup«i, and his whims, and
harlequin p^nturoimes.

Hir Tobif. And a »lK>wer of nun, or an ecltpso ;
and 1 tnii->t Ik^ our pee)) at the Pnlationiaoa.

AJiu Pus. Prny, Mr Glib, let us have some
thunder njui ligbininx.

G/'A. Your commands »hall be otieycd, Mtss;
L'll whip up to ttic cl»udfe, and be yuur Jupiter
Tonaiis in a crack. [Ksit.

Sir Muf. A play-tiouK in En^nd ia to m*
as dull a« a ctiurch, and fit only to sleep in.

I^djf Fu:. Sir I'oby tluiik* sn. loo I'll tell

you wljiai fynwoad d>> tuat luae w ww thaw*

470

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gakbick.

Afui Fuz. Aj, do, my dear lady, tell what
happened to papa; 'twas very droll.

Sir Toby. Fy, fy, Fanny ! — my lady, yon shoold
not tell tales out of school. Twhs an accident.

Lady Fax. A very common one with you, my
Hear : We dined late, sir Toby could not take his
nap, and we came early to the house ; in ten mi-
notes he fell fast asleep against the hox-door,-his
wig half off, his mouth wide open, and snoring
like a rhinoceros.

Sir Mac. Well, but the catastrophe, lady Fuz?
TWv Fuz. The pit and f^lleries fell a laugh-
ing and clapping ; I jogged and pulled him, till
my arms ached ; and if the bux-Uecper had not
luckily opened the door, and sir Toby fell head-
long into the passage, I should have died with
shame.

Sir Toby. You'll hot die with tenderness, I be-
lieve ; for I got a lump upon my head as big as
an ef^g, and have uot been free from the liead-
ach ever since.

MiMS Fuz. I shall never foraet what a flump
my papa came down with — Ha, ha, lia !

Sir Mac. The tenderness huna in tlie family,
sir Toby.

Ladif Fuz. Pray don't you adore ^lakespcare.
Sir Mac !

Sir Mac. Shakespeare !

[Yawning.
Lady Fuz. Sir Toby and I are absolute wor-
shippers of hira we very often act some of

his best tragedy scenes to divert ourselves.

Sir Mac. And it must be very diverting, I dare
swear.
Sir Toby. What, more family secrets ! for shame,

lady Fuz- ■

iMdy Fuz. You need not be ashamed of your
talents, my dear — I will venture to say you are
the best Romeo, that ever appeared.
Sir Toby. Pooh, pooh !

Sir Mac. 1 have not the least doubt of sir
Toby's genius — But don't your ladyship think he
rather carries too much flewt for the lover — Does
your ladyship incline to tragedy, too?

Lady Fuz. I have my feelings, sir — and, if sir
Toby will favour you with two or three speeches,
I will stand up for Juliet.

Sir Toby. I vow, lady Fuz, you distress me
beyond measure — 1 never have any voice till the
evening.

Mist Fuz. Never mind being a little husky,
papa ! do tear your wig, throw yourself upon the
ground, and poison yourself.

Sir Mac. This is a glorious scene, faith !

r.^<u/r.l Sir Toby looks as if he were suscepti-
ble of ttic tender passions.

Lady Fuz. Too much so, indeed ; he is too
amiable not to be a little faithless — he has been

a great libertine have not you, sir Toby?

have you not wronged me ? Come, give me a

pinch of your snuff

llhka lH^[ftmt of his box.]

Sir Ibfry. Forget and foigive, my dear — if my

constitution erred, my aSections never did 1

have told you so a thousand times.

Sir Mac A vfooderful coupl^ upon my soui !

[Azidt.

Enter Glib.

Qlib. Ladies, yuu can't posnbly have any tlniD>
der and lightnmg tliis tnontinj; ; one oi the
planksof the thundcr-tnink started the other tof^
and had not Jupiter Mepped aside to drink a put
of porter, he had been knoi^ed in the bend wuk
his own thuuder'bolt.

Lady Fax. Well, let us go into the (^reen-non,
then, and see the actors and actresaea — It Clin
there i I should be glad of all things to see dx
woman off the stage.

Glib. She never attends berf!, but when alw k
wanted.

Lady Fuz. Bless me ! If I was an actrts^ I
should never be a moment out of the pbj-
hou&e.

Sir Mac. And, if I bad my will, I wonU se*
vcr be a moment in it.

Lady Fuz. I wish I could have seen Clive! I
think her a droll creature — nobody has half »
good an opinion of her as I have.

[Eiit LiDT Frt

Misi Fuz. For my part, I bad mchcr hare bul
a little thunder and liglitnini;, than all the lea
and chocolate in the world. [Going.] I wqnderl
don't see him. [Aa*.

[Exit Miss FrL

Sir Mae. What a set of people am I with!'—
what a place I am in, and what an entcrtm-
ment am I to go thnmgli ! But I can't ea
through it — so, I'll e'en ftct into my dtairnpUi
and escape from these Hottentots — I wishwiih
all my fcoul that sir Toby, my lady, and uitss, the
author and his piece, the matia;i;crs, their pUv*
house and their performers, were all at the Int'
torn of the Thames, and that I were fast asirep
in my bed ^oio. [£nf*

Enter Wilson.

Wil. [Peeping.] I durst not discover mnfif.
though r saw her dear eyes loc^inc about for w-
If I could see her for a moment now, as tbeUife
is clear, aud no body to overlo<^ us, who knon
but I might kindle up her spirit ibis momeai u
run away with me — Hah ! What noise is tiat?
I'here she is ! Miss Fanny, Misa Fanny \ bat 1
am — By Heavens, she comes- ■ —

£n/er Miss Fez.

Mist Fuz, O dear, how I 6utter ! I cant tis;
long — my papa and mamma were pang to "*
hearse nomeo and JuUet, or I coukt sot ban
stole out now.

I

I

Gabrick.]

WIL Let jroB ami I act diose pmts m chf'

out, ius»i and Ay u» liiv^rentx-'s cell Lijvc

htu fiivt'ii u» tUv u|)p4»it unity, uiid wc kImII rnrl'i'it
Ilia prulL'CUuii if wu doirt iiiakc iIk best use ut'
it.

3ftu Fur. iiKipcri^ I can't go itnay wttli yuu

now — I will find a bt-ucr up{»(inuitiiv souri

peHin[)^, lu^iujrri)w_— Let mc rctuni tii Uie
grreii>ru<im ; if we are wen tiigetlicr, ut* ahall be
vcpnnitcd fur over.

H'*/. To prrvciit that, let mc lead you a pri-

viue way tliniugti tliu Iiuum^ t» n iKiht'LliniKc

wc ^mll be out of rviidi bcfurc ut Tuby aiid my
laily lia\c j^onc LiUf through fUirucu and Ju>

Mm Fuz. Don't iinut upon it luiw — I could
nut for the wwltl — my fear baa takt'n awuy ^1
my inclinaticms.

lit/. 1 iiiuftt run nway with you dow, Mu»

FuZ— Illdtftd I DIU»t.

Mia Fmz, Have you really a poM-cliaiM
rradv !

iCiL I Have, indeed ! A po»t-rhaiir nnd foor.

Min Fhz. a. post-cliiuao ami fuur! bless

tne !

Wit. Four of ihc bwt bnts in I^iwlon, and
my potliliuns aru in blue jitcLvii, witli wlvcr
ak'>uldGr-k.uutii.

MitiFuz. U'ith lilver abou]dcr-knot5 ! oay,
then tlicrr is no rcaslii*)' — and yet

UH. \ay, nuiciily, quietly delorunne, my
tk«r Mt^9 TuE I

Mitt Fki^ I ^filt dctoniiitie, then: I will mi
by my papi at iht- rrlicnrMil, mid wbcn lie is a-
alrc|^ whi(-h he vtill be iu t«ii luiimtcs, and luy
BMUinia will l>c- dtaf, dumb, nnd blind tn
etcfir tliiui! but Mr (tlib'i wit — I'll stcul out oi"
[The Vii Iniiii them, and you shnH run nony
wtlh met a» fiikt a% you can, whereter yuur
fuur ba)s imd silver »huuldt.-r-knots pl«M; to
take luv.

Wit. Upon iny knees, I ilumk ynu, and thus I
tiike an uaruot nf uiy hoppiniJSN. {Kiaet her

/ta»J.^ /'luml^ ! Iiere'syour iBHinnia, iiios ■

don't be nlHi'incd — L^dy ! by yunder blesaed
inoun, 1 voiv !

Mini Fuj. Oh, »wcar not by llie moon, the in-
coiutaiit inuuii !

Lutt/f Fm. [Jpproitckiiig,]ljc< ui liai'ciiosuD»

muiHi, mtd slitrs ni>w \Vliai am yuii alioiil, my

dear? Wliu i& this yuui^ gentlciuiui you are »o
free with ?

•Ifwi Fui. Thin » the }roun]> gentleman actur,
mamma, whow benefit we v^cie at last hummer,
and, while you were busy aclint; in the gn-vn-
routii, I stole out hen- to try boA niy voice uoulJ
ftouiid upon tlic stiurc, and fmdiii;; bira here, 1
be>u;ed him to tciicb me a little liow to play
Juliet.

Ladu Fui. O, very well, my dear ! we are
obliitica to Uie yuuiig sentleman, to be stiro !
your pnpa will t^ach you, chilil, and pJay Flc^
meo with you; you idiould uuC be too tree witli
these aetnrv [A*idf.\ I am much obliged to ynii,
air, ri>r till- pnins ynii Imve taken uiih my daugli-
ter — wc arc very tcnMblc of your p«iliteneM, and
yoit may brin^ us some tickets, when your bene-
tit rim« coiuv*).

Wit. I am greatly honoured by your ladyship,
nnd will go tbrimj^lt nil the wencs of Iloraeo aiui
Juliet with iiiim, whenever nhc pleases.

Lady Fitz. (), nu, young man ! her pnpa i« a
very fine actur. and a greiit cntic; atHl lie will
have iiobmly leaeh Iter tlH:«e lliings but him-
self Tknik tin' ocnlJeiiian, child ! [Skf curt'

lift ] Why did nai you stuy to hear your fopn
find mc? Oo, en, my dear, and I'll follow yon !
[Etit .Mi>A.] I'pon niv word, a tikely youn^
man ! your M^rvant, lir"! and very likely lo turn
a young wuiuaoV hend; were it noc for tatting
my dnngfater a bad euiittple, I should like to p>
UTcr Mine wreneit of Joliet with him mvK-lf.

[Kiitj ioofURg at him.

ACT IL

I

SCENE l.—Th<ttnpr.

Enter Glib, Sir Toby, I.ady and Miw Ftz,

pATEIfT, ^C.

Clih. Whnr, we Imve loit ur Macnmni I no
crvftt matter, fir he wn'i hiitf tislf-p All llkC lime
bv was berc — vi-ry little better tlian caput moi^
luuro — Niiw, Indies, and fietitteiiien of the jury,
take your plnces — llif« and clap, coudemo or
applaud niL, as vour luile dirL'<-t« yoii, nnd .Apol-
lo and the Nine send ino u £\hm\ d'eliremnce 1

iW» h'tu. We'll go into the TrKnil iKixes

What 19 ihv tnatier with yu<i. Fanny f You had
iBther.be at yuur UKuM^taiit muou^ than hear
NrOlib's Hit.

Jlfiu Fiin. I iicver was happier in ill my
life, nuuuma. [&^A].] What will become of me f

[Aside.

Sir Tif^v. I shall lie very criticnl, Mr Author.

JWv i'^ur. Pray, arc wc to'harc a prolofue,
Mrtifib? We positively must have a prulogue !

Glib. MtAi certainlyl entre noaf— I have de-
sired the niana^r tn write me one — which h.-ii
so flattered hint, that I shall be able to do any
thing with biiu. [AMide ta Ladv Fez.] I krtow
them all from the patentees down to the wzut-
inc; ftllowis in green coatn

Sir 'i'viy. You are very happy in your eci^uaint*
ance, sir.

Lahy f». I wuh mdic of the itage fulkl

47e

BRlTrSH DRAMA.

rAKKret.

would »hew me rouiwl to the boxes Who's

tttere!

John. I'll conduct yuut ladv&lijp round, if you
please.

Ladi/ Fu2. Tliaiik v<iu, 5Ir .Tohnsloii Re-
member my boi tbc lirst night — aud don't for-
get Clivc's bcnctit.

John. 1 won't, my Indy.

/^y Fuz. Ciiiav, now for ii, Glib ! I shnll
have Liutti my enrs open: nnd I hup? <iir Toliv
will do nb much hy Ins c-^ea——— Corny, Fsiiny,
ny denr, ibi* way.

f£xi/ L«DT Ftrz, 4rr.

Miss Fus. nl ^o my own wuy for the tirsl
lime: nuw my spirits are up a^um — I hate Kti^ii
my lendinf; strings; and it de&r Mr Wilson'i
buys and po>tiUiuii<) keep piive ivith luy fnncy,
niY papa und mamma muM run a licilc faster
ttuu tlioy do to overtake me.

[ KiU M i!S Fl-z.

Efttfr PROMITER.

Glib. I hope, Mr Hopkins thnt nnhody ittxf,
got secretly into tlic house ; I wouhi h.iv<? iwnc
ddC fricnd<^ at llic ^t rt^lK'nrsMl.

[Jjiuking round the housr.

Hop. Yon *«" the house is (piite clcnr, bir.

Olid. I wouhl out hare (he lonn [ini'e llic

Irjttt idea iit" my performtttice Iicforc huud 1

would open a msst battery of entertainment up-
on the piihtic,

liou. You'll surprise them, I believe, sir !

GU6. Pray be so good as to nn^ donn the
curtain, ihat wr may rehearse in form— So» so, so !
very well; and uuw I'll say n word or Iwn (o
the [Curiam drom.] (lentJcinen in the orchetttra
— GentlemMi, yia the or chest ral\ 1 shnll tnkc it
as a particular favour, if you would he rar«ful
ufyour pianos and fortes; they are the light and
abode, and without thrm music is ali Doisr, and

*ing'"K nothing but tiawling

Mimcuin.--{Frnm the orchestra-^ — I don't
quite understHnd tliis moreniejit Is it alle-
gro, sir f

GIA. Allegro, spiritoso ! Flash, Ihuh, £re \ my
friondi — you gentlemen hnut-boys, take particif
lor care of yuur litll<; bolo^ — You bBSsooiis, lup-
pofC them, con px^xxt — not too powerfully — mind
a delicacy of feeling in your ^cond movement —
Make vuurwives ready, gcntlenicn— — Shoulder
your (iddles — tock your bows — and die moment
1 vaniih, firo away, rmsh ! I leare my fame in
your lionds — my lady — air Toby, are you got
round } O, very well ! 1 we you— Don't (ori^t ■
cordial MOW nnd rheo for the poi>r author.

\i^tak}Rg to the audience, cad making a

sign of clapping.
[During thf hurUtto, Glib, theaulhor^ goei
Qitt atsd comes ia sevenii timrs upon (he
ftogCf mnd ipeaks occasiottaUjf to the pcr-

formtrt^ (U h'afnney prompts hiut, ia or-
der lu riiHien the action^ and give a pr^
prr comic iptrit to ike perfarmuau^

OVEKTURE

lOTIE

BURLbTlA OP OBPHBCS.

The cvrtain met to Stift music nfXer the Our-
tttre, und dium-en OaPMEVS attetpupast
eomh K'ith hit tyre HCar him — itftfr ths if*-

phony —

Hecitalite acrvmpanioL
Oltpuccfi dreaming.
I come— 1 go— I must— I wilL

Bless rae * >Vtierc am 1? Itcrc Tm >tiU :

[Quite <r*lt
Thoneh dead, she haunts me ttilt, my wife !
In dcuih my t'n'tncnt. a* in lil'e ;
Hy diiy, by niphl, whene'er stiP catches
Poor lue asleep — »lie thumps and «cnitdm ;
No more slie cries, with hiirlul's rctrl.
Out fetch mc, Orpheus, from tbc devd !

AIR.

Though site scolded all day, and all uif^ht didtk

suae,
Tliough slic was too mmpaut, ^and I w» us

tame ;
Thou<;h ^tiriller her notes, than the ear-piemR

bfc.
I must, and 1 will, go to hell for my wife !

As the sailor can't rest, if tbo wuuJs are too lA
As the miller sleeps best fay the dadi at kd

mill,
So I was most bappyin tnmnlt and strife;
I muse, aud I will, go ui IwrU for my wife !

£nter Ruoiwpc.

Recitative.
Rho. Your wife, you drtvler !— isit nf
But I'll play hell before yuo go!

Orph, Y'ith fear and ahaoic, myAtAn"
scarlet ;
Tve prmjs'd my wife, before my ta(**

Rko. Go, fetch your wife, thmi smpl*- 1>^>
What! keep us botbP— it J^ •«

plan?
Aod dor'st iIkii), Orpheus, cfamt(>^<*4
VVliCQ one's too uiuUi byoacfiMjw*'

Gareick.]

BRITfSH DRAMA.

473

Orpk. My mind Is fix'd — ill vain this strife;
To iicll I f^j, to fetch my itife. —

[Going, iiiiOoOPi: huldl him.

AIIL

UJto. U thift your a(rL*cuon,

Ynur v(>w» attd protcMftioa,
TubrioK back your wife lo yniir liousc ?
W^i shti knons whnt ! am.
As a wolf tlic poor lamb,
A& a cat site vi'ill inuiuljlc the i)inii»c.
[In tears.

AIR.

Orpk. Prmjmm your paibeitr*

And rtl be propbctic ;
Two Indies at onco in my boase.

Two rau tliiy will k-,
And intimblD (jaor rnc ;
The poor married man is the mouse.

Yci hear me ! Orpheus, can you be
|So viilg;ar, as to part ^^uh roe,
'And fetch your wile * — atii 1 forsaken ?
O give mt' back what yoii have taken !
In vain I rave, my fate deplore,
A roin'd maid is maid no more ;
Your loTc alone is reputation.
Give me but that, atid this fur rcpota-

tiCMl.

[Simpt hcr/ingcrf.
AIU.

When, Orpheu«, you

Were kiad ntid true.
Of joy I bud my IJll,

Now Orpheus roves

And faithlcM proves,
Alas ! the biuer pill !

As from the bo«^5.

The Tt'otnided frog-*
Calt'd out, I cull to itice;

O nauiihtY boy,

Tu you 'iii joy,
Alas ! 'm death tu me.

i;0rpk. Ill vain are nil your s<ih<t, and sighs,
I In \Tun (he rlict'rick oTycur eyi>s;

To wmd and rain my hcwrl is rock ;

The more you cry— the more I'm block.

J2Aa. Siooe my best weapou, cryiaic fails,
I'll try my tooj^ue, aiKl then my oailt.

AIR.

Mount if you nil), and roach the sky>
Quirk u!i liuhlnitif; wcaild 1 fly.

And there «ould i;ive you battle ;

Like the thunder I would rattle.

Seek, if you will, tlie shades below ;
Thither, thiOtcr, will [ go,

Yuor faillilets heart anpol !
My rittie no bounds shall ktiuw-^

Rcvcnt^c inv l>*i%«)in sdngi,

AodJeAlon'iy has ivinf;^
To rise alimi' iln'iii all !

[Onpilcts frtafi-An up the lyn*

Orpk. Tliii is my weapon ; dont advauce !

I'll make you sleep, or make you dance.

All;,

One med'ciiie cures the gout,

Auolher cures a cnid,
This can drivt- your paAuons out,

Nay, even cure a scold.
Ilave yiHi gout or vapours,
1 in sleep
Your ncnws sleep,
Or make yiUir legs cut capers.

Duttto, aee&i»p<i»ifii with the lyrt,

Rhif. I cannot have my stving,

Orph. lii>g, tiiii^, ting.

Hf>t\ My tongue has lost its tvvang,

Orph. Tang, tan^ tan§,

Hho. My eyes he<in to twinkle,

Orph. Tiiikl'e, tiaktc, tinkle.

Rho. .My hand; diii^Ie. dangle,

Orph. Tangle, lani:Ie, tangle.

liho. My spirits oiitk,

Orph. Tink, ticik, (ink.

Ria. Alas "^y tongue !

Orph. Tang, tang. tong.

Hho. Now 'tis all o'er,

I can no more.

But— go-to-sleep — and — sno-o-re.
[Sinks by dtgrett ypon a couchy andJaUt
wicep.

Or^th. lis done, I'm free,

Anil now fur thee,
Eurydice !
Heboid ivhat's seldom seen in life,
I leave my mistress for my wife.

Wlio's (here T

[CalU a urvant, tnhopefpt in
Come in — nay, never peep;
Ttic danger's o'er — she's fast asleep:
Do iioi ti»o snon her fury rouse,
I go tu hell, to fetch my spouse.

AIR.

Though she scolded all day, and all night did the

iamc.
Though «hi> was too rampon^ and I was t«v

tame;

SO

474

BRITISH DRAMA.

Tlwugh shriller her oolce than (liu ear-piercuig

fift!,

I must. Olid I will, go to Iiell for mv wit'c.

[£xf/ uaging.

SCEXE I !."-{* Aan^rrt to h mnuntttinoia counlty;
eiHt$f shetfi, goats, ^c.

After a short tymphony — £ufrr OapUELS,
playing ufxia ki$ lyre.

AIR.

TImju dear compKnioii of ray Eifc,
My friend, my mimesN and my wife,

Mucfi dearer thiui all tliree !
Should llicy he fmtble^s uud di-ceive mc.
Thy ^mnd specific can rf:licrc rac.

All mcd'ciaes an: in thee.
Thou ttrUahic beautne dcvie/

Recitative.
Now woke m^ lyre, tu spri^litlicr strnms
Inspire with joy both bcaMs and suuin^
Give us no N)i»oriric polioti,
But uotea sltull 8«t th« Heidi m motion.

AIR.

Brmihc no dittjr,
Soff and pretty,

('hnnniiig r« male toitgues to sleep;
Goat& aliM tluuiit it,
Cotvs curruiit it*

Shcphrrds frisk it with their sheep!

Enter Old SnrpttenD iriM others.
Hfritiitive,

Old ahep. Stop, stop your Doi^c, you fiddling
foul!
We wont not here a dancing school !

Orpi. Sheplien), be cool; forl>ear this rap-
rini;.
Or this shfdl set you all a cap'ring.

Old Shep. Touch it tfcain, and I shall strait

Beat time with this upon your pate.

Orpi. I dare you all, joor thrtets, your
blows ;
Come one and all ! wc now arc foes.

OU S/irp. Zounds ! nbat's tho matter witli mv
toes?

^[Begins to dance.

AIR,

From top to toe,

Above, below.
The tioelii.^ runs about me;

I feel it here,

I feel it thrre,
^^^thin me, and without mc.

Orph.

OldSiep.

Orph.

Old Shep.

Orph,

AlR.

From top to tAC,

A bote, (win*,
The fJurui Uiall run about i

Now imgle lictr.

Now tingle there,
Wiiliio you, nod wiiJiuut yoo*

AIR.

O cut those strinet,

lliQsc tickling thuifr*.

Of that same cursed scnpcr }

Chorus pfShepherA,

We're dancinj: loo.
And wi?, like you.
Can only cut n ca}>er.

Altt.

TlicT ctit the striop;
Those- luolish thin::^ !
They caniiui hurt the i
They're dancing loc^
And tl>ey, like yoa,
Can onljr cut a caper.

Chorus.

We're dancing (
And we, like you,^
Can only cut m caper.

AIR.

As Fin alive,

I'm sixty-five.
And that*N no a^e for dMcioC

I'm past the |;aiue,

O 6e for nhatne !
Old men should not be '

O cut the striiiKis

Tho»e tickling ihingK
Of that same- cursed •

Cham

We're dancing too,
And we, likv ymi^ -
Can only cut a caper. ^

AIR.

TT>ey cut the strinp,
T)in<e fooUiii thittf^!
They cannot hurt the scrapor;
They're dancinc; too,
Aivd they, like you,
Cto only cat a a^KK.

Garrick.]

BRTTISH DRAMA.

47J

Ckonr,

WcVe dancing loo,
And wc, like you,
Can oiilv Cut a caper.

[Onrnix'Tt leatU out the tkephertU in a
grand rbiyrut ttf uitf:itig and dan-
ctHg, and the beatti/utiowing them.

Glib, llcrp** n »c«n«. laHy Fu7 ! — If this wmi't
fits wliat the rievil will ? tal, IrI. lal, Inl !— [0,i«-
cing.\ Tliaiik ynii, cciitlcmcii. [Tt> the archr-
$trm.\ AJmiratly well donr, iiirlted !— I'll ki^ you
all niunH, orer as much pvnch as the duuble buu
MiU hold.

Enttr Pat e ST,

Tlicrc, Mr Miiniijicr, is nn end of' tin net — Eixry
bc.i5l upon Ins hind-legs?—! did intfiid, ih«t
houses and \nts r^acrorditig to tliu i>!d *tory)
»huiiM hav* jninrd in tin- dnicc ; but it would
have croudcfl tli* 9taG;i< ti>i> timch.

Pa/. Full rn'^iE.li u% it ifr, Mr Gtib.

Xdf/v I'u'. [VKifAou/.] Let mc coiue, let nic
ootnc, 1 »;iv !

GUIk D\e hear, dSc liour? Iter ladysliipS in
rapture^ 1 fiiul; 1 kitcw I >bould loudi lu-r.

Ralrr Ijov Fi-i.

Ttody Fmz. 'ni<M*<' arc Tine doinn : iIdc diitiics
Mr OI,b !

Glih. And B fiitr efl'a-l Eh^T will li:i;r, mv
lady ; (iiirticiilt«rly ihr dimcing off of the benMs.'

i^dji h'vt. Yrs, yrs; tltt-y Iwvc dHitcrd off,
but they ftliaJI dniirr IkicK agiiin, t»ko my word
for it. ' [ Watki ahout.

(jUb. My dear tuily, nnd so ihry shall ; don't
be uiicnsT : tlwy shall dnncn hnck usiun dir«ctly
^■hre, prompter, I intended lu lun'c the iH-'euc
iwvr af»ain ; I co-ild sw It lorcver.

iMtjf Fhj. Was tlti« yniir plot, Mr Glib f
(}r Tour contrimncc^ Sir MaitAgcr ?

Pnt. Madmn!

Giib. Nd, upon my sotd ! 'm all my owdcod-
triraoce ; not a tl»>Ui;tit »tiilc from tutciviit, or
utobrrn ; all my own pl(»t !

lady Fus. Call my servants ! I'll have a post-
cKaise directly ; I sec yoiir^ilt, bjynur varn en.
draToun* to hid« it; tni* is tlw most honr-fnccd
impuricnco !

Gfib. Impudence ! may I die, ifl know an

bsdecent Ptpression in ihc whole piece !

Pat. Your paMitm, madnm, runs away with
yoo ; I don't understand yon.

Jjtdy Fuj. No. sir ! 'tis uncnryoiirstact-play-
fn has run away with my daughter; nnd 1 II be
|. fcrenged on you all ! — III shut up your house .'

Pat. This must be inquired into.

[Evit P*TEKT

Giib. What! did Miss Fuz ran awny widieue
Sfiehig Orriheus f

Lttdf Fu:. Don't wy a word more, thou blockpl
head!"

Gtib* I am dumb, but no blockhead !

Ettter St A ToBT, in <-o;i/iiH<fri.

Sir TUy. Wtiat is nil lliis? what is it til a-
bout ?

I^dy Fti3. Why, it is all your fault, sir Toby I .
had not vuii tiCfn atlcep. she could never hava'
been stolen t'rom your side.

air T(iA«. How do yon know ^e is ttolen?
Enquire lirtt, my lady, and be in a pasuou nftcr-
wurd*.

Lndy Fw3. I know ^ic'h gone ; I sow her with
n yyitni; fellow — he w«j. ujion his kneci, swearing
In- the ni'jotv -let Ui have a post-chaiM% sir
Toby, dircctiv, nnd follow them !

Srr IWty. }/-! tis dme first, my dew, and Pll
^.;o rtlu'rfVfr you (ilcn^e.

iMilif Fuz. Dine, dine! Did yon ever bearthc
tike? you hair no more frflinf;, sir Toby, lh»n
\\}a-T |ltf^^vll^— I shtttl en distracted ! tlie fireatcst
curse of n \»iur woman is to hnve a fl^hty daugh- •
ter, nnd a sleepy husband.

[Kxil Ladt Fc«.

Sir ToAy. And the greatest curK of a poor
man is, fi liavo every body fli)thty in his family
but liim&flf, [£Tjy,

Enttr PiTUT,

Vat. "V\% Imp. Mr Olih, the young lady is
gai»f oiT, hut nitli nobody that belongs tou^—
\m i\ dreadful alTnir!

(ifib. So it i«, faith ! to spoil my rchrarwd — T
think it was very uni-enteel of her, to choose thi<
innrninK fur her jKanks. Thoue,h hlie might make
free with hfr father and mother, 'he should
l)a%'e more niannera ibati t4 treat nic so; i'll
tell her as much when I see lier. Htc secontl
act sliall be reaily for you oeu week — I drpenil
upon yuii fur u pruluKuc — your genius

Pat. You an.' too polite, Mr <jhb — bate yoa
an ppitopie }

Glib. I liuve a kind of address heie, by «bv of
epitogue, to the town — I suppow it to be spokea
by my*elf, at the auliior — who have you can re- 1
prc*eiit me ? — no en«y task, let rac tell you — ha '
mu«t be a littk smart, dcgagee, and not wont as-
»u ranee.

Pat, Smart, dp^agee, and not want assurance f
— King is the very man.

Glib. Tbnnk, thank you ! dnar Mr I'atrat, —
ihi! very man — is he in tfie liuuw ? 1 would read .
it to bim.

Pat. O no ! Mnre the audience received him
in Lin'-o. he is prnriiiin^ music, whenever ho is
not waurvd here,

Glib. 1 hove heard a^ mach; and that heron-

476

BRITISH DRAMA.

CpAESICX.

dnaaliy seta his fiunil/a tetdt oo c<%e> with
scrapii^ apon the 6dd)e. — Conoat, coDodt, Mr
f stent, IB the ruin of them all. I could wish,
■when be qteaks this address, that he would be
more eas; in his carriage, and not hare that
damned jerk in his bow, tint he generaU; treats
us with.

Pat, 111 hint as muA to him.

Giib. This is mj conception of die matter; —
Bow your body gently, torn your bead semicirca-
larly, on one ude and the other; and, uniliog
thus, agreeably begin :

All fU'le is fictiof^— I, your bard, will main-
tain it;

And lest you dtx^t know i^ 'tis fit I eipUin
it:

The lyre of our Orpheus means your ^>pro-
faation;

WhJdi frees the pofv poet (mm care and vex-
ation:

SKHi*d want make fus mittrfss too keep to dis-

YooT sanies fill his podut»— and nxdHi is
mote:

Shoa'd his wife, that's Unndf for they two

are but one

Be in belt, diat's in debt, and die m o c<>t
gone;

Your favour faring* oomfoft, at oace coies the
evil.

For 'scaling bum bailiffi^ is *scapii^ die de-
vil;

Nay, cerberas-oitics their foiy will drop,

For such barking monsters joor soiiles are a
sop;

But how to exfdam what you iDOit will reqiue,

That cows, sheep, and csdvea, shoa*d daoce af-
ter the lyre?

Without yoor uod favoiir, how scanty esd
meal !

But with it comes dancii^ beef, matton, and
veal;

For sing it, or my it, this troth we all see.

Your ^plause will he ever the true kam
de-pie.

P MEN.

Devit.

Sm Tromas MiivfELt, /athtr to HARRter.
Iwvoicc, attdcked to HAaniir.

DrOadiirth.

04A9ArRA«.
FlNCIRrSE.

Cam Pill RC
Calovel.

DiACIlTLOJI.

Habakeci.

Suoa

Doctvrt.

SceM~Madridf and London.

SCRNK \.—A room.

'er SiRTnoHA5 Majswill and MARGAitcT.

Tko. Wur, the woman is mad ! lliete
cbrtcd newspaper pairintt hnve ftltattcrcd
Waioft ! DOtiung Icm ihau a ieuntoz of levrn
yemn standiai; catt conceive tthat (Ik* mefliis.

Ufar. Why, sir ThomAS, my convervatinn is
Dcit^ci* <lcticiL-nt III ordtr, precistun, »r dij^iuty.

Sir Tfto. ^i^tlitY ! aad vtlvaX occasion I'ur dig-
nity ill Utc commoa concerns nf my huu»c ? why
lliC ilouce can't jrou convcrw like the re»t of the
world ? If jfou want money to pay off my liills,
ft jou more nw for further supplies; if I turn away

a servant, you condemn me for so often changiit^
my ministry ; and because I lock up my ilauglt*
ler, to prevent her sloping nith the paltry clerk
of a pitiful trader, it if, forsooth, an inraMon of I
ihc bill oi righi», and a mortal stab to ibe great
charter of liberty !

Mar. An Serjeant Sccoiid'cm said, in the de-
bate on the corn-bill, *' Tlicn why d.m'l yon chiu«
*'■ better Krouiid, brother, and Icsm to eolarga
" your bottom a little ? Cousidt-r, you luu&t dmw i
** the line of liberty soiaewhere; for if th«M
" nfihta belong*

Sir 7^0. Mercy on ns!

Mur. Dul, tDdcec^ mjr dear broilier, you aro

478

BBITISH DRAMA.

[FOOTF.

gm. quite out of your dcutli : Woman, I tett you,
1* a micpocosin; and rifcihUy to rule licr, rcquirt-s
as great tnlontn, as tn ptvem ii iiate. And wkut
says llie nphiirUm of citrrliiial Pnligaac ^ " If you
" would not have a person docctve jrou, be care-
" ful uot to kt him know you mistrust him !"
and so of yimr dati^hicr.

Sir Tka. Mrs Man(;arct Maxwell, l>e»tow your
advice wlicrc it is warned ! Ooi ot'my depth ! a
likelv Klory indeed, th:il i, whti nm fixed ficrc in
p nAliiinul trust, uppointcd euHrdiuu of the Enc,-
liih interest at the c<>urt of Madrid, should not
know how to manage a girl !

Mar. And iiray, MrL-oiisul, what informjition
will your ktatiuti aflordy<>u? 1 don't deny your
knowledije in export and iiii|iiirt, nor ilouht yur
tkdl ill the diirerciicc hct>ve(!n wet and dry g<Mids ;
you may wcii;h, with eitactncss. the hal;im*e of
trade, or ekplain the trur spirit uf a treaty "I"
eoinmeree ; the surface, Uie uicre bkixntningi i»f
the ptditicat pot t

Sir Tho. Mighty well !

Alar. But had you, with tnr, trnecd ihints to
their on(;iaal aourcu ; had you diseovi-rcd all so-
cial subordination ti> arise frtitn ori[nnnl cimpacC;
hod you read Mnrtmnel, Monte>qu[i-u, Locke,
Biteon, Hobhrs, Uurrriigton, Hume; had you
Kudicd the political testaments of Albcroni and
cardinal Kichlieu •

Sir TftK. Mercy on us !

Afar. Had you niialyacd the profnnatic sanc-
tinn, and the hiinily eompnci ; had you toiled
tlirniijih the laboriofis jjat^e of the \'incnon pro-
fetv>r, or cttiiuatcd tlic prevnilinK luaniicrs with
the Ticar of Newrn^tle ; in a wnrd, had you read
Aiuiciis upfio Tuxaticin, and Iniintciis uptin Kc-
prcscutiition. vou would have known

SirTMo. \Vhal!

Mar. That, in ipite nf the frippery French
I fiatiqoe laws, wotnaii la a free ii^«-nt, a noun suh-
Itanlive entity, and, when treated with tonft-
dcnre

^ Thn. Why, perhaps, she may not ahuM; it :
But still, mv MKC filter, it ii hul a pcrhap* ; now,
luy iiiethnj is certain, iufallible; by confining
her. I can't be deceived.

3/ar. .\mI pray, sir. what ria.ht have you to
roiifine her? look in ytmr Putfcniiorf ! tlioujih
boni ill Spain, site is a natirc nf Kn>;land ; her
btnh-right i* liberiy — a better patrimonial Ohiaie
IliBD any of your iiespotic countries muld ^ivc
lief.

.Sir TArt, Zooks, you would tire the pniiencc of
Job ! Pray, ansvt cc tne this ; is Harriet mv daugh-
ter?

Mar. What then? for that inestimaVte blcM-
ing "he is lUii beholden to von ; nor eun you,
thoiipli a father, with reas'tii, justice, or luw, tnkc
it froTn her.

air TUa. Why, Margaret, you fnt^et wlicrcyou
are ! This, child, iii the towii erf" Madrid ; you are

tre but^^
previi^H

le, to ^IH

amoDf^t a sage, steady people, wlm know oatj
ruvcrc (be natanl rigbts of a ptkreiit.

Mnr. Natural rigbu! Can a right lo trrvnanc
be founded in nature ?

Sir Tho. LookV, Margaret! ynu are but,
^'"S your time; for. unlest you cat)
count WuH, or the president nf Casiille
you a habeas, why, Harriet shall stay where fht

Is.

Mar. Ay, ay, you know where y'>u are ; but. if
inr niece will take my adrice, the ju&tice, that **
denied to her here, alic will itutautly tcvk lor
elsewhere.

Sir 1^0. r.l»ewbere? bark vod, Mster! u d
thus you an'swcr my purpose in hriiuciu" voo t»-
ihrr? I hoped to Iturc niy dautihtrr's pruicifiln
formed by your prodence ; her conduct ilireeted
by your cxiiericnw and wiMlrim.

Mnr. rfie prt-linunary is CMtt-^«rically tree.

Sir Tho. TIku, why don't \au abulc by ik
treaty?

Aior. Yea; you have |<iven id« powerfol ■•-
lives I

Sir. Tho. But nootber word, nuulnin* r» 1
don't cbusc that Harriet should imbibe any OMPt
of your romantic rcpubliLiiii notions I •baU takt
it an n \irvnt tuvtiur, if y<iu would preparo Ut VflU
this Cfpuiitry with the first oppmtmiiiy.

Af'ir. You ncL-il nut havp rvnionMralcd : ap^
litioii would have answered voitr purpme : tdirf
intend to Mitlidmw, and wttliotit taking intr.
nor will I re^de on n ^poi, u Iirre the groM (it^
ler of tnv *ex n hourly iii\U(Je<I ! Xo, iir IW
inai>; I shall return to the load uf libcn* ! t<«
then.' expert to have your despotic dcnhtt(«pf»
pi-rly nnd publicly handled.

•Sir T/iti. What, you du!>i{*ii tn turn tulhorr

Afar. There's uooeeau'iu fur diat; hbcitrhM
already a champion in unc uf mv lex : TIic MV
pen, that bos dared to scourjce the arbtmrT•^
tioni of Knne of our monarchy sbaildof^
justice to the oppresMre power of parvotL

Sir Tho. With ail my heart !

Mar. I may, pcrha|>!s lie loti Inte to icetrai
iiitj the histuricat text ; hat, I pnmiiv too. tw
»bull be aouinily twinged in the mat^ptM nfla.

Enter a Scrvantt mho aeAtipers Sia TKovti

.Sir Tho. What, now ?

Set. Tluft instant.

Sir Tho. How did he |;cc in ?

>Vrr. Dv a ladder of nipca, dropped^ I H^<*>
by Mil's jiarrjct, from Ihr hnlcnuy.

^r Tyio. That way, 1 jxTkon, hr tbink« "♦'^
treat; but I ihall prevent hi«n. Hen-,
Vdu and Knlph ryn into the- strrrt. rrr-t
house with a ctniple of ci»rbine^ :
my loli'do; and let the rc!ii t>f tb
my jleps.

.Mar. Hey-ilny! what ran te thcmeoMrt'
this citii couuDotioit?

FOOTE.]

UKITISH DUAMA.

470

I

Sir Tho. Nt'tluitg extraordinary ; only tlie na-
tural conwqueiKe of sonM of your saluury tM%'
gciuons.

Mar. Mine, Mr ThuuuLs ?

Sir 'no, Yci, yours, sister Margaret !

Mar. I doh't uiidcrMand vnu.

v*u> Thii. Oil, nnttiing but Ilnrrict mttking u^
of Ikp ^rcat nitural charier of liborty, by letting
voudip InHiice, Abmtiam Indi^'A clerk, by tlic
■npjitik of a indiler of ropes, into ber cluunber.

Mar. 1 am not surjirMed.

Sir 'Ao. Nor I, neither.

Mar. The iii»latit your suspicions pKVt her a
guard, 1 Lold Ikt the act naa Untiiinount t<* itn
upcii dccUrutioa of war, and aauctilicd every

Jiir Tha. You did ? mighty well, oiud-iin ! I
bo|>e, tlien. ftir oncTt you will approve my (tn^
cecdin^s ; the law of nntinns ahalt t>c strictly ol>>
s«;r%«,'ii : yuu ^KatI see bow a spy fiuplit tr> be
treated, who i» cuugbl iu tlte ou<:iuy'» cuiu[j !

Kttter Servant, iri/4 tfu toleiio.

Olxt h*rt*i my trusty lolcdo ! Come, f jIIuw your

lender ! ' [Eiit with serpuntt.

Mar. Oh, sir, I tball fitirauc, and rcconiuHtrr

Cnur inntions ; oud, lliongb ii>> curtel 'a settled
ctwocii you, tnke con: how you iufciiige the fuj
griitiinH. t''^'''

SCENE IL—Anotlier CUmHher.

IlABRltT aud IsvQivt tiiKovertd.

Har. Are vwi sure you were not observed ?

inv. I b(.>lieve nut.

Har. Well, Mr Invoice, ycMi aiii, I tlLink, now
no louder duubl of my Lindner; tltou^h, let nio
Cell y<»<i, yun are a eoc^cl dpjd indebted for ifais
«arty proof of it to niv liilhtr's beveriiy.

/u. lorn 4ornr, innduin, an c tent, m happy
for ine, should proceed from t>a unlucky a cause :
ttnl an; (here nu hopes that »ir Utonias nt«y Ik;
•uflcncd in tinic?

Htir. None : be is, both from nature and ha-
Igt, inflt'viblv nbHiinnte. lhi«, trio, is bis farour-
i|te fiiiblc ; no Gcruiuii bHtoii wiu ever inorr nt-
flOched to the i:(ncat<>i;ical laws of alliance than
he : Marry hisdnuiihtcrtoa person ni trod^* No !
J'nt his pn-Miit fuvounte out of tlie r|ue«)liuu, he
can never be brought to ftubiuil to iL

Im. IJenr MIm llamct, ihtn wliTwill you he-
ntate? ihcie can be no other aluruativc; you
mut cither ftubinit to ituirry ihc dmut, or. by
tfigbl, t-inipe from tlie

U'ir. Nu, Mr Invoice, not till the la»t ncoes-
ciiy drives tor. Be;idt-%, ivlivre can wc go? how
aamst ? who will receive us ^

Ih. ' The world is nil before us where to
clwuif :* and, n* wc fly frpiu oppression, * Provi-
deoce our guide.'

//or. The world* Mr luroice, is but ft coM
kind of oiniMion; and, as to Providence, let nt
(irrt be sure »»■ tlt^cr^e it» pnitection — \A noiafl
a-i/AiMt/.] lUeas me ! don't I bear some buUlft i
below ?

iff. Muitnm !

K<ir. Mush ! my fiithcr. ni I Hrot t fcsr» Mr j
Invoice, you are diM.'>>vcrcd.

In. No, surely !

Sir 'i'Ao. [H'fijbKf.] Have yua aecured all tb* j
posts?

Srr. \mtk0ut.\ All, sir.

Sir Tho. Both the ^nl aad die rear?

S(r. lloth.

Unr. Lost, |m>t retlrinptjon I

A'lf Tho. Tlu II ndniiae ! now let as ODhor-'
boar the rascal !

Hot. Wlml ran we rfn?

.Sir r<<<). ()><ne, iniuiaiii. open your doon!

Har. I'he balcony ! quick, Mr Invoice ! tlitt j
balcony !

:$ir Tha, Unlock, Mr« Sliiuc ! your joinion it j
discovered ! |

In. A couple of fdlowt Mnnd below, willi i
tbcir piccen pointed directly against ic

Sir Tfiv. W'hait tlien, you will compel us to j
baiter ?

ftnr. The whn'c house is surrnunded ! how
can yun escape ?

In. Where ^ill this window conduct na?

Har. To the lends that join our kouM: to lite
chemist's.

In. To the leads ? it is but a step ; there is fw>
dnnfler.

liar. I'lieii instantly fly ! you liarc every tiling
to fe-jir from my father

Sir T%o. John, fetch the iDattock and crow !

fa. And U-Hve my Hornet behind me t

Har. Secure yourself, and abaodou loe to my I
fate. '

Ih, No, mndam, that I will never do; I'll
dare your father's utmnstt roniliueiiL

Sir TAo. Where is that rased a-loiteriDg?

War. Then you are lost !

In. Would my Harriet accompany my flight

Hit. (-'an you desire it ?

In. 1 do, I do; my dearest ancel, I do I Bj i
nil timt'a sarml, your honour sliall be as sccur^^
with mo as in llic celt of a satnt \

Har. But chaiacter, decency, prudence —

In. 'Vhc occnsioii, the daiif^er, all justify —

Sir TAo. Ob, Mbat, you arc come al last !

/fi. Determine, my life ! You have but a mo-
ment—

Har. Shoold you, Mr Invoice, deceive i

In. When I do, may my lost bope deceive j
me!

Har. It is a bold, a dangerous step !

Ih. Fear noihinc. my love !

[Jihancet to the a^iaiior, BadgeU ant.

&r Tho. Drive at the paniiel.

Mar. [ It'irAoaf.] 1 entor my protest !

Sir 7T*fl And I wl!! enter Uie room !

In. Now leap ; all is safe,

fllAftaiET gcU out at the tcindoai.
Sir ThonMS, natru !

Sir TAo. Wrcndi npen ilie lock, !

Jlfur. Ay, d<», al yuiir ucril !

Sir T^o. Down wiih dip di»or !

Atar. Then Tou Khali all lie swiiigbiitgly MUft-
cd. rrodurt" vuur wulluiriiy !

Sir Thii. Afine.

.Ifor, Voii huvc none : not so much as the
sniictioQ oi' a general warrant. '

Sir TAfl. What, then, I we I roust Hu it my-
self: niero it poes ! Prpiry law, indeed, to lock
a mun out urhi» uirn honnc !

Snter Si« Thomas, MahcabcTj and SfrrautK

Now, Mrs Heydfly ! wbnt are become of the

jHtrticsf ranishfid^

Mar. Dcccivi'd by vour spica ! nu uncummon
tbinj:, brother, fur n'bfuiidenn^ eencral.

Sir I'hv. You are wire you law him come inF

Ser. Certain, sir Tliomni.

Sir J%0. Tl^cn I warrant we nill Terrct tliem
out. Come, ladn, let nnt a conuT escape vuu !
[F.jcuiit Sin 'J'nowAs ami Serpttnti,

Mar. I shuJ) wait on your niutjnn^, and hrin<;
up the rear. [£ri7.

I

SCENE 171.— CAwfrt to lf.c chytnist's.

Xnler Invoicf. end [Iaaqiiit, tkrough the tath.

In. Safely landed, hunf-ver.

Har. Are you sure y«ju arc not pun^urd t

In. Not a iioiil : U'TTcr fcnr ! (hey will hurdly
venture thin road.

Har. What a sipp have ynn induced me M
luLr ! to what di»tre!i-j uitd dilhcultics have 1 ex*
poftod myself!

In. Binii^h your fear^, and Jet us touL forward,
my love.

Har. Nov, 1 hate gniie too far to retreat.
Well, «r, what ii next lo be done?

in. Tht Spaniards are naturaltv generous;
pcrlmps ujKin hearing our -itory, the owiifr of
the house mar lend hi* as^isiuiK-c. TIiJn I sup-
pose, is the laborntory, and tliis duor Icudu to
the sJinp.

Devi/. [In u bottle.] Heigh-ho !

War. Who is ihnt?

In. Thar \ where ?

Har. Did not you lioara roice?

hi. None. Fancy, my lure: only your fears.

Bevil. Heii:h-ho!

Har. There again !

in. I hear it now — Who ts there?

l}cvil Ble.

In. Mc ! he spealks EugliiU ! M'bo aud where
vr* yoQ ?

Df-piL Here, in tlits ttottte, where I have been
corked up fdr these sii months.

In. Corked up tn a buttle I I orvcr heanl of
such a thing in my bfe. unless, indeed, in tfat
llayroarket (xice. Coricd up in a bottle, d'ye

SBV ?

DrvU. Ay; by ttie master of this house, a
uiaetcian.

la. A mofcicitui ! Why, then, yon arc a spirit,
I Bitpp<t«e?

I)rtU, You nre right ; I am the de^ll .

Hnr. Mercv on us !

Drril. Doi?l he terrified, inis« : You rmB»-
bcr the old pniterb. * Ttte devil is ooC m blacl
oa he is painted.'

In. Well, but, sir

Drvit. A truce to your questions, my good «r,
for the prt-scnt ! Cuubidcr, mmmed up in iliif
narrow compass, 1 ran't he much nt nty esse
n<Tu-, if TOO »ill but break tlic buttle before you
on tbc flofir

Hur. For Heaven's sake^ Mr Invoice, t^
cure what ynii do !

Uerif. Why, toy pretty miss, what risque da
yoii run 1 your adairs can hardly be changed fot
the worse.

Har. That's true, indeed !

Devil. [Relieve tne, miss ns matters stflod. *c
can he of niutuiil use : Your lover ma» delim
mc from priMin, and I can prevent you boch&oa
^oin<; into confitieiiicnt.

In. Whnt says my Harriet? diall I fdyoo
tlie ;;rnllenian'3 »»<'rd ?

IhviL Do, madam ! I am a devil of bonuar.
IlcMdrs, you liuvc but a litde time tu OMttidtr:
in less than tive minutes, ynu will have the oon-
■tilt and all Ins rrew in the ImuM*.

In. Nnv, rhcn — Pray, which i* the h«ittU?

IX-Cit. That in the middle, right bcfure joa

la. 'ITiPre it g'^es!

\^Hf hrtoh the buttle, and DcvH run tmt
t^ it— Thunder,

Har. Oh, what a-- —

IUtH. I am not surpnwd^ mi's, riiat yno «•
a Uttle bhocLi'd at my tigure : I could hatt a^
liuined a imirh more oprrenhle fnnn ; but as*R
nrr to be a little better ai-ryaninted, I tJHacM U
lii:sL tu quit alt dirtjiuise and pretence; tbci»ftiw»
madam, you see me just as 1 am.

Hur. I Din sure, sir, you are ve — »c — wrrt-
greeable.

Drril. Yo— _vo— you are p1f:ased to con^
nient. madam. Come, answer me sincerely; Mi
I such a tiotni; us ^ou ekpcctrd to >ce ?

Ilur, Iteally, %tv, I con hardly tay what I cf
jff ctcd to sec.

DtviL I own it is a puzzling questMin ; al b«l.
if the world dws us justice in the rnniradiclDr]
qualities they ore pleusL-d to afford us.

/n. Yuu sfiliror^^cCQc, if Xduu'i oodersnaJ
you.

FOOTE.]

BRITISH I311AMA.

I

I

JDirviA Whr. for kII tbeir wperlacive epidteta,
yon CAnnot but •tcc liow miR-h men are bcholHco
10 lis; lir uur mriiiii il is (lint ym tnttasan; (hi*
eKteiiC hoth of yiur virtue* niid vices.

Jht. Ah huw ?

Dral. A^tlius: lu dp^rribiiie yoiir friendii, nr
Tour f(»cs thev are UtoUuK ricli, deviJuh poor,
tUxti'ish Uf(ly, drviiuJi liiiniJ'Mimr ! now nnd ihen,
iii<lc^d, U) vary tli« inoile ot'cunvRrsin;;, you ninki-
a. little frrr wiiti our ci>ii<litii'>n mxl ountry: m,
helltih dull, Jamtifii clovor, AW/f«A Culd: psba !
how dumnrd lti>t it is I

Inv. True, »ir ; but I coiisidrr thi^ as n rtioto-
ricnl Itsuro, n mniincr of spcnkiiiic ilrviM.-d and
pr«ctiiicfl hy dulttcn^ to oHiceal th« lack of id«u6,
aod the wiuu ut' L-xprcsMoiii.

Drvii. Panlv tliat, X confcM: not but there is
•ontv irtill) ill titc vnit ; tnr nt difH-tetit tiiTK'H wp
have the ptmcr. nod du lU'Uiiic the v»nau»
famiK you n»»it;n u«.

Ihv. We f I idMer^'e vou nlnnys mnkr iiw of
the pliir:i1 ; i% llitil, Mr, hy wav of (ti*lii!ctiun, or,
u »o«r fiimily pretty large und exteiifciic?

Drvit. M lilt itudiiioiiv lu the siind<[ on the beorh,
or the iiiol^ ici a SLiti-henm : huw tlie rleiire el«r
do you think we could do nil llie husiiH-^f below?
Why. there's scnrccftn iiidividiitil ftniniigst yrai, ut
Inuc oC kny mnk or iiapurtatict*, but hns live or
•ix of us m hib train.

/jir. Indeed f

Devil. A littlr her>jre I fpt rammed in ttiat
phtal, I bad l>rcn iiir boino time uu very hiu-d
duty in this part ut'ilic wurlJ.

inr. Ol' what imd?

Drvii. The Dipmmi of PowBr anil I hjul long
laid tiri;e to a suhject, the niaii a grandee, t wtu
iheit II pt)|tulnr tpint, and wore the ma&k of a pti-
trioi ; Ht difTerttic times *'*^ posieued him bv
btnis ; but, in the ntid«t iifn violent >truiy>le(br
which nieflti> I p>l laiuc on tlxs le<!, and uhtniiied
ibe iiicIf-iiHin« of the Devil Uixm I'wn SltrkA), the
JJfnon ot' Vainty, a low uiulL'r->trai)iK:Tniiiocif:xt
»>■ licid fiver hu liciiJ ti crrrle ul' C'>id, vviih five
Vivjbft oit die tof^t, und. vrlicw ! tkw airay with
oar pnne in an inaiunt,

/m. Understrapper ! What, arc there differ-
ent rank* nnd order? uinoit^ you ?

Drvit \Vith«>ui doubt.

iav. .Vnd. pi ay, sir^ — I lin|tc no ofibnee; but I
wcHitd not be wiiiitiiit; m prnper rcipect— -arc
Tou, wlicii at boiiio, m' condition * or Imw must

Derii. Yon mean, am I a devil of foiliion, or
one ot llie Ikiso bom i

Imv. 1 do.

Drrit. I have no reason to be ashamed of rojr
family.

fmr. I tlon't doubi it. You will fnretve iiic, if
make a mislaVe ; PcHmi>s, mv lord l^ctfer?

IlrriV. Who?

Jmr. L/>rd Lucircr?

Drvit Lord Lucifcr ! How little ;ou kno^% of

•1. W.

our folks ! Lucifcr a krrd ! Why, that'ktbc nKtin-|
em rar>cal aioonfjuC us.

Inv. Indeed !

DtTil. 0\%, a paltry mrchnnir ! Tlie verv jje* '
nius of Jdhbinz ! A mere bull and bear boiiby ; ,
the patron of tame duck«, broken, and Inwdu-]
leot bankrupu, j

Inv. You amaM mo ! 1 row I alwayi thought 1
him A principal af^rnr.

DevtL lie ! nut at all ! Tbe fellow, irxleei^
lEave hiinMlf Minie airs of importance, upon fol-
Inwinj; xjte camp, and havine; the cmtrnct'irb and
coiuinisMries >inder his care ; bat that affair, yuu |
know, closed with the war.

Ivr. What, then, arc they now entirely out of j
his htnd-i f

Devil. Yr«; quite out of his : he only siiperst-
ed iheir cent, per cent. squee7in;:s. and prnuipied
the various nwidei (if extortion nnd nipinv : butf
in his rotira. thev have six or seven ilu'inont v^
piece, to direct tlie dtsnpotkm of tticir ill-gottca
wealth.

Inv. Indeed!

DfTiV. Poor Lucifer, it \\ nil over with him \
if it were not for the fluctuntinn of India, an otv
CdMonnl tottery, or a contested election, tl>e tX\vf 1
would be empty, and Lucifer have as little to do
as a pickpocket when the play-houfcs are *hol.

Inv. Pcrtiaj)^ sir, then your niuuc luiiy be Bct«
zebiib?

Dtvil. He! worvr nnd worse! not a devil, tltnt
has the leoAt rcj^ord lu hi» rhantctcr, would chiK>M|
to be seen in his comjinnY : besides, it is th<i

iiinM pt'tnhint, wiispi)ht (|itarrcl»ome ctir but

nn vviiiider; he i* the imp of diicane, and pro*
tccts the nHten iMirl of the law.

/<ir. Then be, at least, has employment
cniJii gh ?

VcrtL Yes, durrnfi tlic tenn, he lni« a cood
deal to do: he is the parent of qiiibbli-s, ihe
Ituardian of petlifii^ens bad bail, and of biii-
lilfi ; the suppirtcr cf alibi'*, ttie 90uri*e of sham
picas, the maker and finder uf llnw», the pntrua '
of perjury, and a sworn foe to all trmU l>y jury I
Nut loof ago, though, mjr geulleman was put to '
liis shifts.

JtiT, How was that f

Dn'iL Tlie law Imd latd hold of on old frieud
of his, for lieing too positive as to a matter of
fact ; t'vifleiice, evasion, protraclion, pl«:i% erciy
art, WAS einpluyed to ncr|Uit hitn, that the most
tymsnmmoto skill cuuld surest; but all to no
purii'j^e.

Inv. That was Mran^. ,

Dfvil. Uevund nil iK-licf ; he couM hare hanf^
cd a dozen innocent people with ludf the |Huns
tim Ihui niillry perjiifv gave biiu.

hiv. Ilow came tlutt abtHit?

/>iV/. Why, 1 don't know ; \,p l>ad imfbrtti>
tmtcly to do with nn t>b»timue inat^ittniic, ivlto
iK'iir* II inoital hatred to rogues, and whose socn- |
city could iwt be deceived. liut, huwcverp

3P

4ae

BRITISH DRAMA.

PooTtT

ttiuu^h lie wm nnt tMe to nve his friend from

Itiie sliaiii^; of couvictiuu (u trillo, whicti he, in-

Ftlfftil, but little rt'Srtrdpfl), ycl he had the mldiru

\ tn evade, or nl Inut dcl'cr, the time ol' liis pu-

pithiiicut.

ifir. Dy what means?

DevU. By fiiidint: n tiaw.

inr. A flaw ! Whni's u llnw ?

JJm/. A legal Utnf>-h'.fle. thai tlif lawyer's
Iciivy mieii fnp a rntjiii* iiriw ami thrti to creep
iJirough, that the game tuayn'c be wholly destroy-
ed.

Jwt. A provident sportbraan ! Woold it nat be
ton mudi trouble to favour me with this particu-
lar instance P

lici-il. Nnt at all. Why, sif, when matters

E;rcw dcjpcrntc, ond the CBse was pvcn over for
c»t, little !lel/y »>tart»( up in tlie form of an al-le
practjiiiiocr, unrl tiuinhly conceived, that lii» cli-
ent oiuld not be cnnviuted upon tlititiiMiictuirnt;
forasmuch tn therein he win churi-cd with Tor-
tuveiirins tiinirelf nuw ; wliereat it cU';irlv appear-
ed, bv llie evidence, that he bud only I'or^twurn
h'unselr* then : if, indeed, he h;id been indicted
generally, fnr cninmiiting perjury now ami iIil-ii,
proofs aiitlu be produced of any perjury he may
iiave conimitlvri ; wlierea<i, by liniitnii; the pitint
of time Ut lltM now, no proufii cuuUl Ik: admitted
M 10 the tlieii : m> tltnl, with ^ubmiuion, he hum-
bly conceived his dicnt was clenrly abwlved,
ftnd his cliurivclnr n% fair and »« !»potIe«9 as a babe
ituit's just boni, and immaculate as a abeoc ot
wliite pliper.

inn. And the objcctinn waa p^'^od ?

DctiL Fatal ; tlicre wus uu gettiag rid of tin-
flan-.

Inv. And the ceotlcniEin

Drril. Walks uliiiut at hi* «a*te; nol a public
ptnccbut lie lhru<it«> his person full in your face.

Jnv. That aught not to be : ilic contempt of
the public, that iK'ce<ivjrv Mippieineiil lo the best
dijicued bu«ly uf \tiws, Jiould^ iu these coses, be
never dispensed wuh.

tJevU. lu days of yore, when the world wan
but vnunfE, that mcthiid bud merit, and tlie sense
of shnmc was a kind of a curb; but knaves are
now M) nunicn>us and wealthy, tliey can keep one
MOodicr in countenance, and laugh si the rest of
\he world.

l»t\ There may be something in that. Well,
•ir, I luive twice iKren out of my guc^; nill you
pvc me leave to haiard a third!' Perhaps you
en* i(elphi%:r»r, ur IViel ?

Ih-vif. Neidier. Tliey, tcx>, urc but diminu-
tive devils . the first fiiitmrs the petty, pilfering
fmnds; lie ninv be traced in the dnublt «core,
aiKl MNijK'd pot nf the publirnn, llu> alluni aofl
clmlli of the baker, in the siphislicated mixtures
of tlic bn'wors nf vviiie nrid of beer, nnd in the
(a\v mcnBurvi ai>d ntigtitsi of lliem nil.

J"v, And linel?

JJtvU, Hit is the dntmoii of quadu and of

mountebank* ; ■ tliriving race oil nvor the worU,
but iheir true seat of empire i» Kn^land - llicre.
n short ^word, a lye, and a onstrum. a tnnntfa'i
advcrtlsina, with a shower of haiidbilK r>e»w
fail (jf creating a fortune. lint ot this rribe 1
foresee I shatl have occasion to speak licmUW.

Inr. Well, but, sii-

Dczti Come, ^r, I will put nn end to yaw
pflin: far, from my appeanitirr, it u napoiiihle
you &lmutil e«ergue<i^ at my person. Now, mas,
" h»t tliink you of Cupid ?

Har. You? You Cupid? You tliff py |^ (if
love?

JJrvil. Yes: me. me, mis* *. What, I mppctf
you expected the quiver at my back, and Its
bow in my haJKl ; the purple piuKUia, snd f
ted forehead; with the blooming graces ef ]
and of lieauly?

Unr, Why, I cnn't but my the poMs W

taupht nie lo etpcct charms

Deril. That neicr existed bni in tbe faf of
tliear fancy ; all itclioit oini phrenny !

fnt. Then, peHi«|^. sir, ttMM« rrc-ativc
men may err as much in your olficc, as it is
ihrv hute miKlnkeji your person.

Dfiii. Why, their notions of me tat hot
TTtw. It is true, I dn n little business to tlie

nms way; but my dealinp^ are of a dn

kind to thnsc they de«cnbc. My pnnrincv fits
in formitii; rnnjunctions absurd and prvpofltT'
ous : it u I that couple bnys and betdniBes, siHi
and greybeards, toiiciber; and when tthi mc •
man of f»»ihi»n locked in letptimiii- '. 'Sfc

tlie slide liavinas of half the fell- - *

a lady of fortune spttinp nut fur l.tiMiunifr, m ■
pusi-cboiM: with her fiMitman, von may alwatsM
it down as son»e of my liaiidywurk. But 1^4
but an inmiisiderable branch of mi Wrinfflfc
Inv- Indeed !

Dcvii. Tlie seremlnrts of the draroa. dam^
music, and fiainling, owe tlieir exisience tow
I am the father of faabiotts the inTeaKTif
quints, trente, quarantc, and liaynrd; tl« [W^
ciian of Runifwcrs, the fieoius of pInitAny, wl
the uutbur, protector, and patrou of licvatV'
iicit«, lewdne»A, and luxury.

Jht. Voor nepartmcnt ts large.
JJrvi/. t)ne time ur other. In ■" '

more minute accuuut of these n -'c

.sent we have nnt a moment tt.i lou- .iKU'ie k*
tyrant rclum, I mu^t eipect lo lie iviin cortrJ
u|i in & botllc, — [KnmkiHf;.] — And hark! '*
the consul, that knorka at the door; theirlivr*'
quick I how can I ser% e you ?

Inv. You are no strancer. sir, to our itiMW
Here, we are nnproteeted mid friendless: €■*
your art contey ns to tlie pUce of our birt^
Drvtl. To I^nelttnd ?
Jnv. If sou please.
litvil. Without danger, and with
ditiun. Come to this window, and
nay cioak. 1 bare ol\eu resided in

FoOTE.]

present, indeed, there arc hut Tew of our fiuiuljr
there. Every seventh year, n-c bavc a gcacml
dispeiuation for resuJciicc; tor, at thut time, itiv
inuibituiits tlicmsclvct cnu piny the devil, wilh-

485

out our aid or assUtance. Off we go ! stick fast
to vour bold !

[Thunikr, EreuRt,

ACT n.

I

SC£N£ l.^A Street in lontJon.
Enter Devil, Ixvoicc, ami Harriet.

Devil. WcM, iu_v good frieads I hope 5011
Ve tiot di^pleawd with your journey *
Int. We liaH nu litiK: to br tired.

Har, N<i vehicle vsufi ever mi any.

Devil. Then, by yuu inurtals wliiit injustice is
doit« us »»htrn every cnwr, creekiiia, jolting,
jumbtini^ cnacli, i» culled tiic duvil of a cairin^R?

/no. Very true.

Devil. Oh, atnong« yon, we are horridly om<I.
Well, lir, you now »ec 1 nni a dctil uf IwiMtur.
and hiivc piiiKtiiully obeyed your iiiinmnndit:
but I >haiit liiuii my eruiitude to n literal com-
pliniice with otir (-ciiu|knct ; is Llien: any tliiii}:
else fur your service .'

Jiir. Were I iH>t afraid to trespii>i9 ton tourli
on voup linH;

ifcrnV. A truce to yoiir compliments ! Thoujth
tke/ are the comniun chnncc of thtf world, we
luw>w of what ba»e nn-'tai tlic coiiv is cunipoMd.
snd have cric-d down the currency : ipcak your
wishes at once.

Jav. Eueliuid, ur, is our country, It u true ;
but Mi4» .Maxfceil beiikg bum ubruod, uiid uir
leading it youu^ have rnad« us txKh B9 mudi
•inmfCen to' it5 m;iiiiirr» and cu6lunt<i, us if yun
Jaad Mt us duwii at lk)Mhun or Uulhi : pre u^
jJlCBv Mine little kuuwicdge of the people witii
wIkhs we are to live.

Devil. That iniJt, yoimi: gentleiuao, is loo roucb
CTcn lor the devil bim»elf ! Where libony rcifiiis,
•oii prripenv is pretty equally spreud, iiidi^jHrnd-
«iin- uuti piide mil giro eacn imiividuol n pecu-
niul >eparatc character: when claitM.d in pro-
iou^ ii»derd( they iheii wear some wngular

iribs thai diktingui^i ilictii from tiic rest ur
dtcir race; thcbc it may be necessary for you to

,klM>w.

tmv. You tv'ill liii(lily oblige me.
JDctit, And at the »niit6 time that T am «bow-
,ji%%x persons I will |,iv-eyou Mine lillte tit^Jit
^ tliiiti(». Health uiiU property, you know,
the two irtifKtrtuiit objects of ]iiini»n ntten-
licHl : You bliall liru we llicir »tatc nitd ailualioii
in l^iwloii.

/ftr. You mean the practice of phyMC aiid

Jirvil. I do. And as to the first, you will find
if, in >oinc of ihe profeswrs, awiieiire, nuUi:, w-
tlBry, anil ItUi-ml; in oi)ier!>, a trade, as moun a»
ccuury; a contciuptiblc couibtnuttou of,

dur>ce9^ nunei, and apothecaries. But you lMff«J
tu>iv a lucky i>pporiuiiity of kitoxtinf; m<>rc in Wl'
liour, of tite great improvemenu in thit branch
of ci%il siicict)-, than, by any otiier iiicau&, *«ven
years could have tBui(hl you.

In. ExfilatD, if vou pl«ni«.

Devil The s|)irit of discoid preratis : The k*

ftublic of tied peri'^itrs hkc liio Itontans tkf old,
larc turned their arni> front the rr»tof mankiud|
to draw their short suurds nn themselves. '

In. tiut how cnmc this about?

Drvil, To carry on the metaphor, you must'
know, in this i^reat town, there are two cor}M uf
these troops, enually numerous, uitd e(|«jally for-
ruidubte: Vbe nrat. ittstnie, Kredtwipltoed, aud
ti^ht under a gcncml, Mhoni they christen a I're^
sulcnt : The dCciHid contains tJie hunvtrs and
pandours of physic; iliey rarely attack a pati-
ent lofcelher ; not but tlic latter, single-luuidcd^
can do ciiod cseruiioit.

in. lt4Jt their cniite of oonteDtton?

DraH, IVide. The lij^ tn>ops ure jealons of
&01UC houours the other* poMeaa bv prf(icn[ilinn,
and, th<)ugh but a •oilitia, think they have n^ht
to an eoiinl rank nitli the repuinr*.

In. VVhy, ihii in ijinc may ruin their state.

DevU. True; hut that wi: must prevent; it i«
our iiitciest to make up itus breach - .\trcadv we
feel the fatal eilects of their fends : By tK-^ltict-
ing their p-^ienis the ncekly bills daily decjtoe,
and Dew subjects begin Co gniir scarce id our
realms.

In. This does, indeed, daira your attention.

DeriL Wc purpose tu call in 1)10 aid of the
tnw ; bleedmg tJic purse it as elliuciunl for damp- <
ing the spirit, 9» npi-nioj: i> vein fur lowerini^ the
ptdM. The II^Kuioi) of Ijtii>iilHHi lixji already
puiseswd the licemintos ; 1 mubt infus*^ tho
same puwon into tlie president ; and, I warrant
you, iu two or three lenUH, with two ur three
Lrials. all sides will be heartily tired. But a-
propos! I sec a brace of apotliecanes oiiaing
this way ; diey seem deep in dcliatf : Txt ut
listen ; wc sliall \>cf4 tcara from ihem the pre-
sent posture ol'—— Iluj.li, hide ! — \mt iliaU here,
too, have a proof what a l*iut(.-ua I am. .

[Theif reiirA 1

Enter Julep tnut Apozcm, mlh a Utttr,

Jut. T tell you, Apn/cm, yon are Imt young in
llie hunines*, and don't forubcc Uo« muL-h we
bliaU be nil hurt ni thu rud.

dpo. W«ll| but vvlihl cau be dcme, Mr Jola

484

BRITISH DRAMA.

[POOTB.

Ilrrr, Dr HHteboTP wrircs roe word, that ihcv
tltivatt'n a •■icgc, and art- (inn iHcd uilh tirp-ami* :
Mould jou have ihein surrctider the oollrgc at
once?

Jut Hre-nrtus! if thcr arc mad cnounh not to
kiH>w that (he \M-n k lie dociur's be^t pisuil,
*hy, let iliim pr«rc<-d.

jpa. But arc wc to *tond quietly by, nrcl
Kc Uic very sest of ih« ecirucc dcmokahed and
toni?

JaL And with what nrnu arc we to defend
it ? where nrr our caiinoa f Wc hare mortars,
indeed, but tKcn ihfy htc fit to hold nothing
but ppbtJe» ; and, as to nur tniall unv a(
«*hni UM call th(^ be in ■ «egr ? ihej are made,
Tou knuw. In iittjick imly tlie rem*.

^po. Come, come, Mr Julep, vou make too
licht iif the*c matters : to have tlic lawful dc-
imiilnnls from dalen, lite ihmne uf EKulapius,
cncrturiicd h^ a pon^l of ( ioths !

Jut, Ptttce, A|xi7cni, or treat yonr betters
with ]>rn|Kr rf'»pcrt ! Wh^it, nuuisLiill ! du you
tliu4 all |)b\!<icmu9 are blockheads, who Imve
nut washed their hands in the Caui ur the IiJa^

Jpo. Well, but I hope you will aliow titnt «
Btiiversilr-doclur — —

JuL May, for aufiht you know, be n dunce.
Besides, fool, nliat have we tu dn with decrees?
llic doctor iluu doses bc^t i« the bnt dortor fnr
us. Ynu talk of tlie college ; tiiere are some of
their names, I am &ure, that I never dc^o to
see on my file.

Jpn. Indcetl !

JnJ. Indeed ? no, iiideird. Why, there's Dr
Diet, thnt Riakc« Mich n du-^t : He tiad a pervm
of fabliioii, n patient of mine, under hts eurc
t'other day ; as fine a hlow fever I I was in
hopes of linh* inttkiii^ toy fortune

Jpo. Yes ; I love a slow fever. Was it uer-

VOUB?

Jut, Ay; with a lovely dejection ofupinis.

Apo. I'hat was delijjiitful, indeed ! ! look
upon the nerves and the bile tu l>e ihc two best
friends wc have to our back. — Well, praVt and
hot* did it inswer?

Jul. Not at alt; the scoundrel let liim slip
thruneti my hands for a suag; only a paltry sis
pound) and a tTown.

Afio. Shameful !

JuL liifamoui! and yet, forsfloth, he was one
of vour collrjie. Well, now, to shew yoa the
dilference in own; hut tlw very week after, Dr
X<inttus, from Leylcn, run me up n bill uf thirty
odd potind^, for only attending Aldcnnan Soak*
put ^it davs ill a surfeit.

Jpo. Av, that ynu, duinf. of busncss.

Jul. Ah ! that's a sweet pretty praetitioner,
Aptrzeni ! wc inu&t all do uur uiiuoht to puali
him.

Jao. Without doubt. But, notwitli^tnndinc
ell timt Vou sny, Mr Julep, tlirrc are iuiuv of
\lie geatlcnwn of the college, that I kiiuw

JuL Ah ! as fine fellows na ever fingered a
puttie; not one in the trade will deny iL

Jfnk But, amoopt nil now, old Nat Ni^*
»>ha(M is the man for my moofrr.

JuL Yes; Nat, Nat tins merit, I own; but,pnK
lake him \ he i» «o devilish qtiK-k : To be »i»t^
lie ha> a very prrlty tlurnt pi-Ti wbiUt it U*t>;
Ijut then he makes such di>)mu-h, dcu doc bm
liardiv time to Knd in twu thjzen of dran^ht^

Jpo. Yfs; the doctor dii«c» on, to be Hitt,

Jhi Driicft on! If I am at all free in tte
house when old Nt^ihtsbade is sent fur, as ^ pn-
paratitry liisc I aUays rermnroend aa attontrr-

Jpo. An ntturney ! for wKhi f

Jut. To make the pntiettt's will^ befote be
9wBllim& tIii^ duclor's presrription.

Jpo. 1 hat i» pnidetil.

Jn/.Ye^: I generally afterw«rda get the thaab
of 'he family.

AfM. VVliit, Mr Juleps for the nRomey, oriU
phvsicion ' hn, ha !

JhL IIh, hn ! you are arch, little ApoMB;
quite a wae. I profev !

Apo. Why, you know, brother Jatrp» tbcK
ore subjects upon which oite can hiutUy be i^
rious.

JoL True, true! but then yoa should bffter
laugh loud in the fUeet ! Wc may imlulfnr, in-
deed, a kiud of Mnipc^n^ Muile lo our patiMUX
as we drirc by in our chariut^; bul, then, llnff
is a drceni-y, not tu say dignity, that biLni—
the public deioeaiiour of us, who belvug to dvfr-
cultv.

Apo, Tnie ! And yet, thTe arc time* wbra
one can Imrdly forbt.-ar ; Why, the other ^
now, I hail like tu have hurst : 1 was rulkmWva

runcral inio .M Genruc's a sweet pretty h^

ryinc; velvet pal), hut-baud and eloic*; vA
iiiilced, the wiuow was (|uiic handsume
ihinc^; p;iid my bill ihu next week,
Ncoiicitii: nif siipence, ihouph they wet«
to tiare lived bupiiily lo^crther — but. as I waii^
sayinff, as we were cnlerinf: llte rlnirrh, ■!»
•ilmuld stKiid in the porch but Kit LabbafC (te
toilor, with a new p:i»r f»f breeches oodrr la
nrm. The sly ro^ite Hia<(e ine a bow, * Sefvtat
• Master ApoTcni !' sayitbe; • Mhnt, v<mi arecv-
' ryiog lu^Mie yoiir work, too, I sccV Di4^
ever hear »uch a dog?

Jul. Ay, ay; let them, let the™ Boh ii

not tliut t)r ivpiib, that ii crt-nsini; thr wa»?

Apo, Yes; T041 oiay %oc it i» Si|uib,'br !■
shuttle. What, I suppose now be a icaaiil
away fur the coltecp.

JuL Who, Squtb? how linle yoa Inwr *t
him ! he did not care if ull our inhe was x^fi
into the Thames.

Apo. No !

Jui No ! Lord help you \ he i* lr« mot* W
ken up witJi ihc imimtial illiiE»«, to MmsA ■
pnrliculflr aiU ; Why, lie would quit tfas l0l|>^
liciit in town lu hum nfiot a pojitrtal aott'

FOOTB.3

BRITrSH DRAMA.

485

and would rather hRTe a whisper from a $rcat
mnn tii tlic Court of Hcquc&ts, ihan five liuii-
drrd poundf fur alieodiitg htm >n a chronical
casr.

Jpo. Woiwlcrrul ! Wlio can that dirly bi>y be.
iIkii he has in (119 Itantl }

JaL Une of Ills tcuuts, I suppow. Vic shnll

Re-entrr Df.vii., as Dr Squib, and 'PtttKjr.n's
Devil.

Squib. And you arc sarc thii wai woried nif
OOC nf (hrr rtralf

Dtiy. Not a Mngl« one, »r, has been »ent out
•» ret.

a^ib. Hint in daimily done, my dear de^'il !
Here, child, ltcrc% slipeiicc. When ynor ninster
jri»e* you ihe rest, you ne*tl nut be in huiie wi
deltvrr lliem. Iiut step into the Hint public-house
Co refrcslt von.

BtHf. I Miiill, vr.

S^hif*. Hi (list means, I *hall be eariiMt to
treat tuo ur three great incn that 1 know with
the fiif}M,

Boy. No further commands, tir f

Symih. None, child! Hut, d'ye hear? iP von
you can al any time net mc the roujih rt-adirm uC
any tart pohtical manuscript, before it goes t<t
preu, you shan't be u hncr.

»itnv. I vlvall try, Mr.
SqHih, That's well ! Mmd your business, ami
pi GO but ns yon brcin. and I foresee your furtiiftc
i> made: Cume, who knouii but in a little time.

Ill* von are a s^nd hoy, yon may gel yourself com*
mi^ried to Newi;^tc !
hoy. Ah, iir, I nm nfratd I am too Toung!
Sctiib, Not at nil : [ bnve M*cn Inds in limbo
much TOurii:cr lliiiii you. t'ome, don't be fiiml-
hcurted; there has many a printer been raised
to the pillory from «■( ilcnder bet;inning»,

J5o*. Thai'* great comfort, howercr. Well,
»ifi rit do my endeavour.

t[Efii.
Sguih. Do, tlo r What, Apozem ! Jolrp,' Well
eocoitnrcred, my ladi ! ^ uu arc n coupte of
lut'Ly rntjurii ! Mere, here's a treat fur a pmire ;
•uch a print, boys • jnst frt-'^h from the plate : —
t'ctl it ; »o wcl, you may wring it.

JuK And prny, gofjd doctor, what is llie tub*
ject?

t.Sjwi'A. Subject! Oad take me, a trimmer! —
this will make ^tme ('«»!l% (Imt mc know look o-
hniit lliein. Iley, Julep, don't yon think thi^
will stint;'
JmL I profefs f don't un'lentnnd it.

»S^Hih. N"? WhT. zoiitids it nm pl:iin as a
nkc^^uC; in vourown way, too, you mocklicni] t
Can't you -tec^ Keud. read the title, yon ntr-ue !
But, peHiJtps von ciin't, wiihoiil spectacles. Let
itae«ee! uv, * riic SLnre-fjuncks; or, Hriunnin
••dying ;* Vuu take it f

JuL Very well.

Squib. Tlicrc you sea her stretched along on m
pallet; you may know she i* Britanniii, by the
shield Mill npear at the l>ca:l()f her bed.

.tpo. Very plivin : fur all the world like the
wpin;; side of n halt'-pcnny!

Sifriib. Well staid, lidlc Apofcm! yon hntv
JiMX-rnmciii, I sec. llerdivaM? in a lethargy;
you ICC how sick she is by holding her hand to
her Itead ; don't vou see ihntf

Jul. 1 tin, I do !

S^uib. Well, then, took at that figure then
upon her left hand.

Jul. Whicti?

Squib. Why, he that holds r dreught to her
mouth.

Jnt, Wliat, the man with the pliini ?

Si/uib. Av. be w'iih the phini : 'Itiat is supprt-
*ed to be— [ll"Ai*/icrj.J olTtring her laudannui, to
lull bcr faster asleep.

Jnl. Ijvudnnum ! A itoblc medicine, when ad-
ministered properly. I retnemlvr once in a
locked jaw

Squib. Damn your locked jaw ! hold your pra*
'"i|it yon puppy !^ I wish vor jmrs were lodied !
Vax take hiiii, I have forgot what I was going
to'— .\pozem, i^lwic ilid I leave off?

Apo. You leflod'nt flitter a&leep.

Squib. True ! I was fwtcr asleep. Well,
then, you nee tliat thin figure there, with the
meitiire rlinps ; he wiU) ibc straw tu his liand i

Apo. Very plain.

Squib. He is supposed to be— [K'Au/tfn.]—
Yon take me f

JhI. Ay, av !

.Syuit. Wiio rouvs Rritatmta, by ticklinc her
nose vti:h that stm^v ; b!ic st»rts, and, with a
jer'* — [StartiiiSt i/ii/r« JfLtl-.j 1 iKp pardon!
aud wUh a jerk, knocks the bottle of laudanum
out of his hand ; and >q, by tliat there means,
you see, Dritannta is delivered from deatk

Jvl. Ay, ay !

Sqt/ik \ ley ! yoa swallow tbc satire ? Prettj
bitter, I think }

Jul. I cun'i lay tliat I quite uodcr^tand ^—
that is — n — a

Squih. Not understand ! then, what % fool am
I to throw my time on a dunce! I shall tniss,
too, tilt readinf* tlie new pamphlet in Ued-Lion-
■"v^unre : and at sii L mutt be at SeijcHut>-lnn,
tu justify bail for a couple of juunieyineji print-
ers.

Apo. But, Dr S<iuih, ynu seem to hate forigol
the ra-tc of the college, your bretlu-cn?

Sqitib. \ have no time to attend their trifltni(
squabbles I The nation, tlie nation, Mr Apozem,
encrosses my rare. 'Hic cotlrce ! cmid they
but i;tl nic a stiptic to stop t)»e bleeding wounds
of my — it is there, there, t»at I feel ! (^, JiUep^
Apuiein !

Cuutd tbey but cast Uie water of tliis latid.

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FooTE.

Pnr^p lier cnw* biwivmr*, purif* her blood.
And |;ivi: tier back tier (Ktstuic health agaia,
I would ap)>laud timin u» tl>e very cchu
Tliat should applaud again !

Jul. Iiiikcd, Dr Sqiub, tliat I bclicrc U out of
(lie KTij of the college.

Sqiub. Throw phyuc tn the dog% tlieo ! Vll
have nunc oCu
Bat tull me, Apcneni, iofonii me, Ju-

Ivp*
What sennit, rhubarb, or what pur^-

tive Hru}£.
Caa Bcour titew — Itciicc f

You understand me, Inds ?

Jul. In ^o<i truth, uot I, sir I

S<imh. No ! thin so much the better ! [ war-
rBtit little I'uzy du^. Well, adieu uiy bmvc
boyfi ! Tur I huvc nut un iii5tniit to lose. Not
understand nic, \>ey i Apoxetn, you do, you
rogue? WbatscnnA,rhubnrb,or — hey — can»cuur

thcw Sc Egad, I had like to have feooe too

far! Well, bye, bye !

[KsU Sgi'in.

Jut, Why the poor man seems out of bis seu-
■ea!

Apo. When he talked of throwing uhysic to
rihe ikio, I confeM I beeun to suttpect bim. Bui
I Wft rfiul be late ; we must aUend our summun»,
^rou know.

Jul. Tlirow phy^ir to the dogs ! I cnn tell
ihee, Apozem, il' he does nut ^.tnured of these
fancies and fit'eaks, be la mure likclv lo ^u tu the
kennel by half. Throw phvstc to the Uog$ ! on
impcrtiuent ignorant puppy j

[Eseitnt.

Re-enter Dcvil, Ikvofce, and Harriet.

DaiL Well, I tliink chnocc has thrown a
pretty Kuod sample into yoiir way. Now, if I
could bat get uue lo conduct y'ou — But stsiy,
who have «c here i

Enter L*»T, tcith a pair t^Mhoes.

Jjatt. Pray, good genttumnn, cnn you tell :i
body which is the rcudy road to ttnd Warwick-
btne?

Dtfit. Wnrwick-lanc, friend f and, prithee,
vbai Clin tJiy errand he there ?

LasI. I on) poing there, to take out a liceocc
lo make ine a doctor, an like your worship.

JJcvit. Where do yuu live?

iMtt. A little way off in the countn*.

Drrii Your uanic, honcbt fiit-nd, aud your
bu*iineu ?

La%t. My nnme, ma«f r, is TasI ; by trade, I
am n doctor, and, by profeMion, a mukcr of
ahoe*t I »uft boru to ilio one, and bred up to
the other.

DrriL Bom \ I AaaX onHcrrtid voo *

iMtl. W by, I am E MTcuth Sun, and ao wcfe
my taiher.

DrriL Oh, a very dear title f Ami pnrt,
iiaw, io Hhidi branch don roar UtiU cfcir^y lie.*

Latt. By custinn a water, i cure the jans*
dar«e ; 1 iap6 folka fur a t«DpeanT : and hafe ■
ciMMce charm for the agar; aiid, tnrt otkd abuM
titat, tna&ter, I bleed*.

Dtv^. BleetU ! and are yoor ■n^boan ■
bold OS to lni9t you i

Last. Trust me ! oy. tnaster, time ifacjr «A
sooner than uarra a man io the utmmttf. iUf-
hap, you may know Dr Tj^tlt'ea^ oar nCbM^ B
home?

Dail. T mn'i say that I do.

£411/. H* 9 the fluwt-T of a m^n id the palpL
Whv, t'other day, you muM kaow, Cakiof a tu*
in his pirden, and thinkini; of THrttitng al4
down falls the doctor flat in a fit of pcrplnil^i
Madam Tyth'cra, belic\ iitc bt-r husbam mm
dead, directly »ent the tcxuin fitr L

Demi. An aSectiooatc wit'e !

Ijnt. Yes; they an: a main bappy coapk.—
Sure as a ftun, master, wIk-u 1 comcd, fan £1*
was as black as his castoci : but, bi
[ took out my lantxlot, and fortbwii
large oniiice hen* in ouc of tbe j
doctor bled hke a pig.

Drcit. I dare say.

Latt. But it did the baaioessy
I composted the job.

iJiTi/. Wluit, he recovered ?

Last. Recovered ? Lord help you ! wby, las
last Sunday was scenni^ht — tu be Mire, the dx-
tor is given to wcirze a lilllet, bccnuM ««h\, be a
main opulent, and apt to Ix: tiMcLy — but lie
con)po>>«d as sweet a didcounc — 1 ^pt (ttm
be^iiinin» to end.

Dcvit. J1ut was composng, iodecd!

Last. Ay. wam't it, master, for a naa daca
iitnirkcn in vear»r

DitU. oil, a wonderful eObrt !

Last. Well, like vnur wnr>hip, and. b#side«ill
thiit I Imve been telling you, I have a [>ntty t^
liaiiii at a tooth.

DenV. Indeed !

L4UI. Ay; and I'll say a b<:.ld wnnl, ttaal, i»
druuinp a ihousaiMl, I orttT ^tumpt a laaa i*
my life : Now, let your Uu'>prrTu*»k and all ^
I'orriflu innuntieer^k, with tlteir tine doiutr flM*b
cs, 9uy the like it* they tmn.

Dcitl. I defy tliein.

Latt, So YOU may. Tl>cn, about a doM
year* hi:h, bcf'otc iIicm; brrc ■'Sittoiis mmW ^itia
notae. I find MJUte thou^it) of occupvuig fard*
smnll-pox.

DeoiL Ay ; that would have wound ap nv
bottom at (incc. And, why did nut you ?

I^it. Why. I don't know, mooter; the oei^
buui-s u'crc frightful, uod wuuld »•*( combdI;
otherwise, by this time, 'tis luv UcUcfi nta, w

Foots.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

487

nMrn, ud chUdren, I might have occupied twen-
ty ibeuttnd «i lasL

Jicrii Upon mv word ! But, vou say a do7«ii
ycftrs, MnvttT L.i»tp As you tiavc praciiicd phv-
tic wiUioui pLTiotMiiuii so lon^f wliat makes you
now ttitiik nf gvuiiit: a licciicv ?

X«i/. V^liy^ it i^atl atonK \\itti one Lotion, n
pottcrrvrici, llinl live* lu a little tim-n Imrd hy
wc; Ik.- 19 crown uki whJ buicivious, I tliiuk, niid
thmtrns vy present mc tU size, if w be I pnu.-
liac luiv lt>ii£rr.

Drvit. \\ hntf 1 Mipfioie you run airaj with
tlw husiiiM^ ?

/.«j(. Kjclit, inn^ler! you havr giieswi) the
rantirr at tunc. S:i, I was telling my tale to
Sawney jM*<itC(ior, who comes no« nnd then to
our inwn, wiiti hi» pnt-k : CmxI. be iid^i*«<l me to
pet made a tloctor at uiice, and kend lor a di-
plinnmy fmm Hrntland.

Umil. Whir, that was tlie n>;ht rami. Master
LuL

Lutt. True ! Dut mr Master Tyth'eiD tells me,
that 1 can f;et il done- fur pretty near tlte same

IM'iiv Iti-re ill Ijoudiui ; vt I lind nithrr, d'ye kv,
ay out my nwrticv at liuine, itmti truiiapiN-t it in
fnrcigu part*, as ar say ; l^erause why, inastrr, 1
liiiii)^ there luw tuo much already gooo iluit
mad.

Dtvii. Spnke tike an Kn(;t)diinan !

hatl. I iiuvc a |iuir ui -Itocs Itere, to carry
lii>tnc tu fanner FbIIuvv's kpii, tliut lircs with Mas-
ter GrTjf:rain. tlie mercer, liard by here, in Cln-ap-
ftidc; so 1 thnut;hl I mif^ht lu wt-ll du both Umi-
iieMe» under nnc,

DtviL True ! Your way, Master Last, lies be-
fore yno ; the M-atiid street, yon muNt turn in
tbe let^ ; tlwu, cuter tlie ttrst great gate that

JVn IKK.

Ijut. And wito mu»t [ aks fur ?

JitTtL Oh, pull nut your purse ; you will iind
that hint sulitcieiit : It w a part of the world
where a fee i« iiet-er refused.

IjMt. Thunk yuu, master! Yoa are main
kind : very civil, indeed ! [Goia^, rr/mrni.] I
wi&h, master, you li.id n»w mlitrr llic atptr or
jaundanH:: I would Kt you ripht in a triec.

VnrtL Thank you, Ala&ter l^ost ! but 1 am as
well as I atn.

hart. Or, if K> be you llkefc to open a vi-iii, or
vrmitd ftavo a toxh or two knocked out uf your
brad, 111 do it for nnihin|r.

Demi. Niil nt prcicnl, 1 ihnuk you I when I
want, I'll rail at vour liou!>e in the rouuirv-li^-1'i/
Lami.] Well, my yuung uiuplc, and wliat say
Jim now?

/a. Soy, sir! tliat I am more afraid of being
• tick, tliHii ciff I was ill uiy life.

Utvtl. I'ho! you know nothirac n* veL But
my tlloofl^tM^ ul^hfur p>issei>»ioi: the prCMdcnt ;
U 1 could but get some iniciii^cut person, to

conduct you to the place wltere the lieentlatee
n«)etnbte — There seems a sober, scdiite- looking
lad; perhaps, he mav answer our purpose,—
Hark'te, youii._ maar

Enter Jobmy Macphcrsob.

Mur. What's your w ul, sir } would you spew
auglit wi' we?

i)evU. TI)oufi.h I think I can c;ive a fooA
%ur-u, prsv, from wliRt part of tlie world raajr
you come r

Mae. Aly nnmr t.< JoUdct ISIacphcrsoo, and I
came ntit of the north.

iVri/. Are you in business at present i

Mac. T cnnua say thtit, sir, nor that I am ia>
teerely dnstitute iieit>ier; but I sail be unco glad
ificet a mair loiiJ c-Uablti^limcnL

Deri!. Ilnve you been lone in this tnwn ?

Mac. A hoot a month awu, eir: J Inunded fra
Leidt, m the piide ttiip the- Tniciitair. Diivy Po-
imldtoii, miiislLT, nnd nm lodged with Sawney
Sinclair, at thesis o'tltedty of GInscow, notfar
fra Uk Monument.

Dtril. but you are in employment?

Muc. Ay. for some part of the day.

Unit AdA to what may JKiur^ profits a-
iDount ?

jl/rir. .Ah. for (He matter of tliat, it is a prattj
smart little income.

Drvil. is il u secret how murh?

Ma(. Nnt nt aw ; I i:ct lUrec-pence ao hoar
fur Inmine Lnlin to a plivMcinn in the eeely.

JXrrtl. The very muu that we want. lAtin !
and, what, are you capable ?

jlfur, Cappablo! Hut awa, mon! Ken ye,
that I was heed of the huiaanit^-class for inair
ihan a twalvemnnth ? and was ufTered iIki chair
uf die ^ratiimatical pntle^iorYliip in the colled||c^
which amunu to a matter of snx pounds hrJttth
a year.

Dcril. Tl«at*« more than I knew. Can you
gucfs, sir, where your schnlnr is now !

Mae. It is na lung, sir, Hutt I Inft liim roniiing
his At in pr^MKmt* ; alter tvliich, he fidked of
tran](iii); to meet some iH'^nds o' the I'acultr,
about a sort of a squabble, that he says Is
sprane un nmane tbeni ; he wanted rac togan^a-
lang wi' him. at 1 had ifi'u mysel to study mwl»>
cine a little belbie I quitted (he north.

DcvU. Do you know the public-liouse where
thrv meet?

\ldc. Yes, yes : unco werl. sir: it is at the ta-
tcrn the muth side of Paul's Kirk.

Devil. Will you take the iruuUe to conduct
this Touni; couple thither ? they will amply re-
ward' you. You and your partner wiU follow
thi* lad. Tear uoihine I hy my nrr, yoa are in-
visible to nil hot thu>e tliai you desire should see
you. .Vc the college we shall rejoin 0110 »-

488

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FOOTE.

Botlicr :-^— for Uiither tbe ItcniUiilrs will lead

In. But liow ihall we be able U> distinguisli
you t'roui ihe rc^t uf thu fvElunA !

Demi. Djr mv Urce wig. and supetior 'mpon-
nnce ; in a word, ^foii lauM look for lae id tlw

In, Adieu! [fiicuf.

ACT lit

SCEXE "L—A Street.

FivoEBrtE, Sligo, Osasafras, Bboaprih,
other DocloTi, and Macpiiiksos, ditcaverrd.

Fin. Nn; 1 can't Itclp ihiiiktii^ Uiis was hv
inucb (lie Ik^&i melhod. It', indeed, iliev rcfu-ve
v» Of) amicable cntnuce, wc arc lb«u juMifivd
in ibe use of corrosives.

.S//^-o. I i«;ll yoii, l)r Fingcrfc* — I am sorry,

A'yr sec. in dilTir from « old a prnctiiioner

but 1 drni't liVc your pnwhption Pil ull, at all :
For, »liHt »i4piitics H pullialivc rceiQii.-n, wiiti
■u<:b a ruttcii constitution ! Mnjr I never finncr a
piiltr as Iciif: tm I live, it' )'ou get thrir voJuntarv
consent to go in, unlns, indeed, it be by comput-
&ir%n.

Oiat. I entirclv coincide nilh my very capable
cnmitrymait, Dr Stigo, d'ye ncc ; uiid do pi*'c my
advice, in this onsulliition, fur putcint;tiie wjiuic
college under a couoe of atecl without further
delay.

Sfi. I am much oblieated to you for your'Iuixl
eompliiQent, doctor. Bat, pray, whut ciay your
luunc htf

Otoi. Dr Ofiasafrai. nt yourhtimblr senice.

Sli. 1 aiu your very ubadicut ahho ! I have
heurd tell or yniir naiiir. But wtiai did you
innne by my tnnntryman f Fniy, doctor, uf what
Dation art- you ?

Otiu. Sir, I bare the honour to be & native of
IrclaJid-

S/i- OMi^nfm^? that's ii name of no note; l;e
is not a Mdisinn, I am siiix'. The funiily, I sup-
pose, came OTfr t'other di*y with Strongf»o», i\ot
above ^nipn or ei[ilit hundrnl years ajio; ur,
perhaps, a descciidaitt from one uf OlivcrV
drummers — Ton my cuns'^iciice, doctor^ I should
hanlly hebve yoii were Iriiih !

(hut. VVIiiit^ sir, d'ye rjutiht my veracity ?

Sti. Not nt nil, my dcnr doctor ! it t» not for
that : but, betwcrri tite nn<l yourself^ jou Imie
lired a lun-; time io lliia Uitvu.

Otat. Like enough.

S/i. Ay ! nnd wa$ here a great wltiiti bcfor«
evrr I WW it. •

Owt. What of that?

Sti. Very well, my dear doctor ' Tlien, piitttnp
that and t'other lopethcr, my m'tioti of tlw up-
shot is (hut if so be you nre a lutivc uf Irvlaiid,
upon my convtcnce, you must Itnvc bctii boru
there very young.

Dial. Yunnc^ *T'> "^ ^ sure! Why, my wul,
I WHS chrifttcucd there.

Sti. Ay !

0*0*. Ay wa$ T, to tfie county of MeatK.

Sii. Oh, that altera the properly ! ttui maUl
it n» clear as I- Icet-Ditcli. I slj<Hitd be (Ih^
cnuntryman, of voar nearer acquaintance. Dm
what litltc &lini doctor is lliat, in lit» own l>twi«f
h»ir ? 1 don't recollect to have »eeu his feacm
before.

Otat. Nor T, to my knowledge.

an. Perttaps, he may be able to Cell nc,ift
akt him himsctr. 1 am proud to ue yoa, dat-
tor, on thi^ Orcadian: berasse why, it becoaai
e\'ery jontluiiau that is of the faaUty thrt ii,
that is not of ihctr facalty, you undencaati M^
to look about liim and fttir.

iJac. Oh, by my troth, you arc rigbl; ar'
Tlu; lecmiiing of pliywc aw to se UoatUt am a
a college, or by what doMiniiiatioa yottwaka
is nt best but establiihiog «>ort of maoapekf.

Sti* *Pon uiy cuuKieuoc, that i» a fiat (WfC^
vation. Dy the twist of your tonpic, d(KtiK,1«
afivnie) I »huuld be apt to guc»a tbat ym nij^
be a foreigner bom.

Mac. Sirr!

Sti. From Russia, pcrliapt, or MuKOvy '

Mar. ilut Qvtn, inuii ! doc at aw * Zmadi, I
am a Urceton !

SU. Then, 1 kitould buppose, doctor, preny f»
to ihc northward i

Mae. Ay ; you arc right, air.

Sti. Ana pray, doctor, what particular hnaA
of our busincas may have taken up ibe wal «f
your liuie?

Mac. Itotanv.

Sli. Botany) tii what college .>

Mac. Ttie uuivcmily of St Aodrcws.

0»ns. Pray, doctor, is not botany a my iO
sort of» >tudv?

Sti. Moat f{:imnably no in tlMH« parts, my dnt
doctor; for all the knowkilce thev baiA t^
must f:ct from dried herbs, bccauw' ifac dtvi '
any i^reen that ^«ill ^ntw there,

Mac. ><jr, youriiitorinulion is wtan^

Sli. Come, mv dear doctor, Itald tout ftHtf*'
and dou'i be atter pafhng on us; bmuife
j-ou know in jour cooscitncc th»t iu »o«r_
tlic wurtd you i^et tm cnbhiicc bat thislJn;
tho»<> yon nrc obli)£cd to rajM.- up«fn hiitbab

Mac. Thistles! xnuttds, Mr* d\vc moM t*>^
I'ruiiL iiic i

Sti. Timt, doctor, k us you plaasct to okcA

Mac. Ood's lite, sir, I wi.tilrl hn* ton to km
ijiat there i» niirra a rooii wi' hi« heed ypM^a

sliiiuldt-r^ lluit dnrp

Fia. Peofx, pcac«;, gcntlenocu ! kt oi kai« H

FOOTIJ

BRITISH DRAMA.

«9

dvil diKord. Dorliir Sli^ i% a lover of plefr>
Mntnr ; but, I am «um, hul no drngu to nffront
joo •- A jiAe. notliiii); elsi'.

Mae. A joke ! nh; I tike a joke weol enough;
bat I did na andcnoiiuf the doctor's iiibine and
jeering: Pirriwps mr wul mny not bo aw uh
geihcr as sharp as the doctor's tjut I have a
•Won), sir

SU. A snoni mr!

Flit. A 9word ! av, av ; there 't% an doubt ytni
huw IwtU very good on« ; but reaerte ilicm fi»r
— Oh ! here conies our onibasHulor.

Enter Dtacbyloiv.

Well, Dr Dvachthm , wtinl news from the col-
lege? wili tliey allow ui fr«e iiJsrcM niiH ci:r<-*^ ?
Dyar. [ could nut get ihcR) to swultuw u siiigle

I^enuind,
Ml. Vn ?
Sii. Then let u« drive iKere, ood drcncli tbcrn.
I>y(K. 1 was heard with disdain, and irfnscd
with nn mr of ilcfiiinrc.

^ti. nirre, gcuih-rnen ! I foretold you what

• WfMild hatircii at first.
Alt. He did, he did !
Sti. Thfii wi* have iiothir^ for it but to force
mtrpassatic nt once.

jtU. thr all iiic-nnf; let ui march !
Brotul. Frinid f'inj'erfee, would our brethren
but lOLlnir their cars to inc fur a minute —
Fm. Gcritlcincn, Dr Broadbritu dnirek to br

klimnL
Aii, l!car blm, licnr him f
SU. Paw. hnucy. what Mgnitic^t licariiii: f I long
to be doin;;, my jvwt\ !

FiH. Bill hear Ur Mclchiwdech Broadbrim,

Ibov»rvcr.
AiL Ay. ay; hear Dr Broad hriin f
hrvaii. Frllnw-iiihourm in ihr inme rinevard !
y« Inow wi'II liow niurli I Maud inrlinrd (o our
cfM»r ; fom<tnuch u not one of my brethren can
be mor* Jealous than 1
jI//. Tnie, true.

/frudd. IIiic ye wot nlvi that T liohl it not tneet

or wholesome to use canml wcaimn, cicn for

^tbr dcfcRcr of myself; much more uii^ecmlv.

B Ukt, nm*t I deem it, to draw the ^vord for the

oHe^odiu'^ iirotlieni.

5/j. Paw! br\/thrr doctMH; don't let him bo-
ther ii<t with Uh v<<a and ony nmw usr !

BrvaiL I'ncii'f Sliyn, do not bctholeric; and

^^agm, that I ara as frte to draw uiv purse, in

^^^B cxme, ti% thou art thy^Mord; And thrxi

W^Hm find, at the leiit;th, m'twithstnudiuic thy

iw*<pnnfi, th:it ilie first will do us best scrriec.

Sh. Weil, hat

JktL llcAT him. hear him !
JBnW. It ifl my imKum, then. lirelhreiK that
^re do roftlmitli »end iur a sinful man in the
^c-*h, called nn attoniey.
K- SIL An attorney *.

fc III

Broad. Ar, an attnra#y ; and that me do dt'
rret him to lake out m (Mirchmcnt ioMniinentj
with n seal fixed tbrrcin

SU. I'bw. [jox ! what cood can that do }
Bt*Hnt. Doo'i be Urn hisiy. IrM-nd Stino. And
ihrrewiih, I *i»y, lot him p'^iwft^ the iMilward !••
bt-niHclp of ihi^ vitm innn. wtm rlrli;:hteth tu evU
himself |ire«idL*ot. and oirry him Iwfoie the men
elttihvd ii) liirnlrJiiti, wKo, at We^tniitMer, are now
siltill); titjiHlt:tufnt.

SU. Pitw ! It law-(uiit ! that won't end with
<iur live^ Let us inarch !

Atl, Ay, ay.

SU. Corned Dr Hahakkulc, «1U yua march in
the fnmi or the lenr?

Hall. Pardon me, doctor! i canttot attend
ynii.

.Vi. What, d'ye draw back wliea it comes w
the ptish '

Unt'. Not nt all; I wouhl ctadty join in po»»
lin)E these Pliiti<flneit to llit;bt: for I ahlK-r ih^ia '
wiirw thiiu hi>^''> ijiiildiiic^. m «liirh the iiiu Iraii
Im-'DM and the bhxid arr all itimhicd tuitetlior.

Sii. I'lx-rty t'-o*!. i^ir ;ill that.

Htth. Ont thi« is JHoiurdiy : and 1 dare ftot
draw mv «wiird cm thr Snhhiiih.

.>7*. 'i'hen M»r with your brofhrr MeWuw*
dei'h; fur, thoii|£h of ditK-n nt n'iiKions, vou ara
both of a kiducy. Come, diinur^; out with YotiF
swordi ! llu£za ! and now for the fame ! Ilii/7a }

\Kiaml,

finntd. Friend Uubiilcluk, thoa aecst hovr
htadstrinn; and wilful the*** men are; hut let us
UM' di-cret»cm. h'lwcvcr. Wilt ilmu step to tJiO
inn (hilt taktth itnitame from the citvuf IJncidd?
<-iK)u(re (here fur a man, with a red rac al his
tiack, n Munll ItlacL tnponhis pate, and n bu>>h«l
of h»ir oil hi» breast i 1 think tliey call him a wr-
jeaiil.

Huh. 'DicT do.

Broati. Then, without let or delay, bring hin»^
Inilter, I pmv thee.

}{"f>. I will utM)ut it this tratanc

BnMd. tlis ndnionition, (teriinpa, mnv pTWvniK
('wdi<^piitch, 1 heieech tiier. Incivl llahalhak.

Hnb. As much ai if I wa« ptMlint; to the Tfvn-
sury. tn obtain a larce sub^criptiun in a new loan,
or It (<iticrf.

HrfHttl. Nay, then, fneiwl, I have no ren«on to
fear iticc [Ereumi.

SCENF- II.— 7V t'ollfge.

Devil., [ai llri trnunc, lAr Prun/tu/.] Cam-

fitiHi., C'ALOwtLt Sarrtary, antt Puj^iU, H^

coverrtL

Srf, Tlie UccntintM, tir, will von be at hand.

lift. I*t them '.

V*tl We wilt do oiir diny, hnwerer; and, like
the pntriuiant of old, recenenith Nieiico liwM
\ i^i^'Uhs in thr >)cnnre.

Itti, I am not, Dr ( 'MloimH, of w paalc a

3Q

490

BRITISH DRAMA,

[FOOTK.

turn. Let u< keep the evil out of doors, if wc
can : if nui, riw w, repel lurcc hy force — Barri-
cadit till! pite» !

See. U \i done.

Uet. Arc the buckets and firc-eiigine fetched
fruiM Si. DuiMinit's?

See. Tlicy liwe been here, wr, th.t balf-bour.

Hrt. Let twelve oputhccnncs be ulaced at the
pump, and ihcir «pprciit.cc» Mippit (liem with
water.

See. Yc^ air.

Het. But let the engine he placed hy did Jol-
lap, frnin Jnnie»-«trt*cl. Ni>t oric of llie Iradt
, bu n better hand at directing a pipe.

Sec. Miehtv «flJ. sir.

Hcl. In I lie lime "f m*(;c, everv ciium uiiplu
in duty ii> M>r^c. llHvin<; thiih, brother^ provid-
ed ■ proper defence, let us ohiIIv proceed tu our
business I>t there aiiy t>ody here, (o demand a
licence tOHlaj> ?

Set. A practitioner, Mr Prendeiit, out of the
cnuutry.

Hel. Are the custoniarj fees all ditdiar|[ed f

Ser. All, ^jr.

Hel. Then let our censor*, Dr C'h^i^tt>phc^
Campliirc, nnd Pr Comeliiia I'uluincl, introduce
the practitiuiKT fi>rfuiininnti<iii.

[£jYitn/ rAHkUIRr. aN<jC*LOMEI..

A^cr tlii» duty \s di»patclied, we will Uicn reatl
tlic cultcgr nod students ■ lectorc.

JZaferCAUFniRB owiCkUtUTi^ with hxtr.

Latt. I'lrst, let rac lay down my ihoo*.

[I'firy at/vttuee, ti'ith l^rte ^ohj, tv the tahte-

Hrl. \jLl the raiidulnte Xto. placet! on a stool.
What's the doctor'^ tininc ?

5rc. Emanuel Lost* Mr Prefidettt.

Hrl. Dr fjkst, you ha%'C petitioned the collccc,
Ui ubtiiin a liiYiice for llie practice of phytic ;
and thoufth we have no doubt uf your i;rcai skill
and uhihiies \et uur duty cutnpels us pmioiisly
lu a»L a fi'w question<i: Wlmi ncadciny had the
huiiuur to lunn you.

latt. Anan?

Ihl. We want to Innw the name nf the place
where ynu have ^tudit-d U>e w^icncc of phjsic?

iMit. Dunstahif.

Hel. ThniS Mime (iermnn university; so be
can never belonjt lo the ColU-gc.

AU. Never; oh, ik>!

HeL Now, «ir, with regard to yoor pliymolo-
pcal knnwk-ilet.-. Uy wliat niciui>, Dr Liisc, du
jtn dJM^iX'cr that a man i» nut wl-II ?

Laxt. By his complniiit ihnt he is ill,

!/«■/. Wril repltt-d ! nci surer prognuslic.

All. Nruiv Mirer.

Hei, Then, as to recovcrinR a subject lluit is
ill — Can you vniluri: to undertake tJi« care of an
ague?

jMtt. With arm n man iu ihu country.

HcL Bv u'luit means f

Lutt. By a chann:

Hti, And pray, of what ontariak OMi] that
diami ht- oompt>>ed ?

iMtt. [ won I ttU ; 'tis a secrec
lift. Well reified I the college has no r^!|fai i*
pry into secrets.

AU. Oh, no ! b^ no means !

Het. But imw, Or Last, to proeeeii in
foriii : are you qualified lo aHtninister
lo such diM>a&es us belong to the head I

ImU. I ItIicvc I may.

HrJ. Xuiue ftowc tu tbe CoUcgt.

I^al. The to«tth-ache.

Hel. What do you hold the best method ta
treat iff

I^it. I pulls 'cm np In- the rootv

Hel. Well replied, tiroibers ! tfaa^ ohhdat
duubi, is H ntdicnl cure.

All. Without duubt.

Hcl. Tlnis far as to the hc^nd : Proceed »e
nent to tlie middle ! When, Dr Lah, you are nl*
led in tn a patient with u pain in his bowtli,
what tiieii is your metltod of praurtice?

f^it. 1 flaps a trencher hot to ihc port.

Hfl. Knihnioition; vrry well ! But if litis ap-
plication should foil, what a the iKttscepiiiie
YOU take ?

jMtt. I ci's a Totnit and a pnrgr.

Hel. Well replied ! for it is plain ibcre ■ a
disagreeable guest in the hou«c : ho buopenJ
Uith duori ; if he will go out at neiLlier* it m
none uf his fiiulL

All. (i\\, nn I by no tnmnt !

Ufl. We hn\e u»w dispaubed the middle, iiid
liend : Cotne we finally to tbe other extreviOT
the feel ! Am you equally slutful in tlM diM^
dcr§ iDcideotnl to thcoif

I^tut. I believe 1 may.

Hel Niunemnie.

Lutt. I have a great vogue alt oar myj>
curing of turns.

Hel. VVliat are tlte nwaiu that yuu use ?

[jti^t. I cuts litem out.

Hrl. Well replied ! eiitirpatiim r No iKtler
method nf tiirini: can be. Well, brcchrciLl
thinL we may now, uftcr this stnct and imouod
inquiry, salVly certify, that Dr Last, Croa top t*
toe, IS nn tihlc physician.

All. \ pry aWe," very nblr. itidced !

He/. And everyway quajifieO to pnotd^
hi« pmciirc.

AIL Kvery way qoali6ed.

Hit. Y"<i uuty dosccjid, [>r LaM. [lost Uia
Alt levif tiU'VNg them.] Sccrctunr, 6nt rta4 ^
then ^ivt the doctor Ms licence.

See, [Hr^idt.] * Tu nil whom diese
■ niiiy come, yrteliiip. Know vo, thn-

* most strict and severe inquiiiriun, ac

* the eroat skill nud crndiiion, but (he tt>>.^i

* Dr Ktitanvel fjut, Wo ktc outhnrtMid to

* unto the uiid doctor, full power, pcfK)

* and licence, Lo pdl, bulus, lotioi^potMHir Ai^SI^

FOOTB.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

491

■ floM, drench, purge, bleed, blnter, ctiater, cap,

* scarify, sjrriage, snlivatr, «-ouch. fltix, sweat,

* diet, dilute, tnp, pluccr, aod poultice, nil per-

* sons, in &JI dtsc&sn, of all ajecs, conditions, and

* lext-s. And wc du strictly comnuind iind i'lijuiii
' nil »ur]e;eon3, aputlH-iatrics, witJi t>H^ir appn'mi-

* OL'», nil midwires, mole, female, aud nurM^s, at
' all times, to be nidiii; and as^iMin^ tn tlip Miid

* Dr Emanuel La»t. And we du t'urllier char^

* all mayors, justices, nldcrtncn. sbcrilTs bniliflii,

* beadborougm, coiwtHble% and ruroiicr*, nut to

* volC'SC or iotenneddic with liie said doctor, if

* any pwty whom he shall pill, bnlus, lotion, po-
' tiou, dmui^ht, doMs drencli, purine, bleed, bliti-

■ tor, cli>ter, cup. wearily, syringe. Hntivnlc, coucli,

* Hux« sw«ar, diet, dilute, lap, planter, and poul-
' tic^ aliould biipprn to die, nut to deem that
' lbs Wild pony died a iintiitHl dciith, niiy lliiiit:

* ^rpewini; tu the contrary notnitlisUinding.

* Given under our hand*, Ike' Uvrctilt-^ lU'llc-
bore, Coriiclluft ('nlnmcl, Cliri^oplier (.'amphirc

Last. Theu, if a paiient die, they muse not
aav t)iat T killed him)

Uei They %ay ? Why, hnw should they know,
when it is noC of»e time m twenty thnt we knuw
it ourselves? — Procewl we now to tho lecture!
FWy «// ri«c, anii comr furrrarti to (hr faWf.J
iirethrea and student^ l' am f^ioK to upeo to
yan Aomc notable diworerie« that I have made,
rtaprctm^ the «oiircr, or primary cause, nf all
di>teiti|ient iucidt'iiuil to tlie human tiuichnie :
And thete, brethren, 1 attribute to certain ani-
maJctilK, or piscatory enlitie*. thnt in^inunte
thenneivrs tlirutigli the pore» into the hloud, anil,
in chat fluid, «pi>rt, una, and tunihte about, tike
onckarel or otid-tish in the great deep : Arwl, m
€oantot TOO that ihU h not a mere ;; rafts diilum,
•o bypoliieuii onlv, I will give you deiuoniitrau\-c
prooC Bring hitMr the micro3Co|)e !

£«/cr a Scrrant with microscopr,

DckCtor Ijut, repkrd tliis receiver. Take a peep.

UH. Where?

Iff/. There, lliose two yellow drop!i there,
were drawn rrom n subject afflicted with the
jaundice. — Well, x*bnt d'ye see !

tMit. !>omc little crv(iturc!>, like yellow flics,
diat are liopptng und <tki|)|mig about.

Ilrl [tt{^t. 'lliow yellow dies stvc the tinitc
to the skiu. and uiidouliiedlY cause the discaite :
And [K»w fur ih^ cure ! 1 administer to even.- pa-
tient tlie two-and-lil'ticdi part of a incraple of the

inaoro^of the spider; ihrse are tlirnwii

llir di^;estiTii powers into the secretonr, there
■e panned from the alimentary, »nd theu preci-
piiatcd into the cimilutory; where, tindinn m
prrmcr nidua or nest, thev rfuii their torpid mute,
■nawivifv. and upoo vivihcatii>ti di^ccmini; the
flie», the^ir natunu food, they iuiin4.Mlintely fall
foul of thcni, extirpntc the race out of the bitxjd,
^M*^ restore ihu paucoi tu health.

I

JjOit. And what becomes of the ipiden ?

Uet Oh, tliey die. yuu kixm, for want of na-
Iritiun. Then I send the patient duwn to Rn^hu
bclnibton; and a couple of dip» in the Mtlt wnter
washes the cobwohi entirety oat of the blood/—
Now. gentlemen, with respect to the

£ttfer Servant .

Srr. Sir. Mr Fureept, from the hospital.
lieL Tlie hospital ! is this a time to

^Mter FoftCEP^

Well. Forceps, whul's your will?

For. Tu know, air, what you would have done
with tlie hospital pnlicnts to-day ?

Hel. To-ilav ! why, witat was done vester-
day?

J-'ir. Sir, we bled the west ward, tind jalloped
the north.

Wc/. Did ye ? why then, bleed the nurth ward,
Hud jalhip the west, to day. [Exit For.

Now, I say, brclhrcu

Kntrr SrriMnt.

Ser. The lioendaces are drawn up at the gate

WW. VVbo losdi tbem ?

.Srr, They are led on by .Slico : They demand
instant entran<x. and threaten to storm.

//<*/. Doctors Calomel and Cnmphire, our
two aid-de-camps, wincy their present posture,
at>d report it to u<.

riri/A.u./.j Hu/za!

Htl. Rid old Jollup tic ready to UQinask tbs
Lfigme at tlie wurd of coininaDd.

£nfer CAMiMiiae.

Xow, Dr Camphire?

Cvm. The >lf4tfe haiumcrs ture come, and the;
prepare to batter 111 breach.

HrL Let the engine be played off at ttie very
hmt bhiw ! \Ejrit CAlir

[ll't/Auu/.] Iluz^!

Enttr Calomel.

Now, doctor?
Cat. Tlw first fire hu dcmolkshcd I>r Ftti^r-

fcc's forrtiip,

Uel. rhai't welt. [Exit Cat.

Enter CAurattit.

Vow, doctor?

C'lit. Hjc M*c4ind fire tins drapt the stifTbudcles
of Dr (Ksasnrrft*.

ii*.t. Uettcr aud better! [Exit Cavpoike.

Enter Calomel,

Now, doctor i

40t

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Foots.

Cat. Both the knots of Dr Anodoync'i t;e are
HeL Best of all ! [Exit Calohel.

Enter CA-MPaiSLK

Now, doctor ?

Cam. As Dr Sligi, with open mouth, drove fo-
liously on, hu receded a full stream in his teeth,
and is retired from the field dropping wet

Hel. Then the day's our own !

[Exit Cahfhibe.

Enter Calomel.

Now, doctor ?

Cal. AH is lost ! Dr Sligo, recruited by a
bumper of Dn^heda, is returned with fresh vi-
gour.

Hei. Let our whole force be pointed at him !

[Exit CALOHSt.

£fifrr Cauphire.

Now, doctor ?

Cam. The siege slackens; Dr Broadbrim, with
Serjeant Demur, are arrived in the camp. [Exit.

Het. What can that mean?

£nfer Calomel.

Now, doctor ?

Cat. Serjeant Demur has thrown tins mam-
• festo over tlic pate. [Exit.

Hel. [Looking at the parchment.] Ha ! " Mid-
** diescx, to wiu John Doc, and Hichurd Roe."
It ia a challenge to me«t them at Wrstminster-
hall; then we have hreathiug-time till the terra.

Enter Last,

Now, doctor ?

La^t. I have forgot my shoes.

[j'akct them up, and exit.
Het. Oh !

£nfcr CAHruiRE.

Cant, The licentiates file oif towards Fleet-
strcL-t.

HeL Follow all, and harass tlie rear ! leave
Bot a dry thread among them ! Huzza ! [Exeunt.

Re-enter Devil, Invoice, and Harrift.

Inv. Forbid it, fortune ! it U now, ar, dint we
most want your aid. .

Devii. He must, be will be obeyed. Hercftf-
tcr, perhaps, I may rejoin yoa asain.

Inv. But, ur, what can we ilo? how tiveJ
what plan can we fix on for car future rapport}
Droit, You are in a country where your ta-
lents, with a little application, will procozc yoa a
provision.

Inv. But which way to direct them i
Devil. There are profitable profetnoBS tbU
require but little ability.
Inv. Name us one.

Devil. What think you of the trade, with wboN
bad|^ I am at present invested ?

Inv. Can you suppose, sir, after what I bm

seen

Devil.' Oh, »Ti I don't des^ to e^age yon ia
any personal service ; I would only recomiaend
it to you to be the vender of tboae infallible le-
iiiedies with which our newspapers are CDOStaaE*
ly crowded.

lav. Ynu know, ur, I am possessed of no i^
creL

DeviL Nor they either : A few umple wafem^
difrnified with titles that catch, no matter bow
wild and absurd, will effectually answer yosr
purpose : As, let me see now : Ttnctare of na*
der, essence of eggshell, or balsam of broumsticL
Inv. You must excuse me, sir ; I can sever
submit.

DeviL I think yon are rather too sqaeamitk.
What sav you, then, to a little spiritual quacken?
Inv. Spiritual?

DeviL Oh, sir, there arc, in this town, mooi^
tehanks for the mind, as well as the body. U^^t
^ould you tike mounting a cart on a coauKSV
and bccoa>ing a Methodist prtmcber ?
Inv. Can that sctieme turn to account?
DeviL Notliing better : Believe me, the aloi^
lute direction of the persons and purses of a Iar;e
congregation, however low their ci>nditioa$aiTi]
callmgs, is hy no means a contemptible ot^.
I, for my own part, can say, what the comjutrf
of Persia iiud to tl»e Cvnic ; " If 1 was net .\lts-
'* ander, I would be Dit^eiies :" So, if I •«> a*
the devil, I would duihe to be a Melfandist
pieacher.

Iiiv. But tlien, the restraint, the forms, I iiaB

be oblit-ed to observe-

DeviL None at all : There is, in the wb»le(»
tn^ogtie, but Que sin you need to be at all ^ t'
committing.

Ihv. What's that r

DrciL Well, my young friends, you will natu-
rally be led to Westm Oh !

inv. Bless me, sir, what's the matter? You
change colour, and taulter.

D'-vH. The magician at Madrid has discovered
my tlight, aiirl recais me by an irresistible spell :
I must leave you, my friends !

Devil, Simony.

Ihv. Simony f I don't ctMnprv^wod yotL

DeviL Simony, sir, U a nevi- kind of'caooD, d^
vised by these upstart fanatics, that makes it si*-
fut not to abiL^ the cunfideuce, and piously piai-
der the little ptoperty, of an iiwlynu ma aad
hiti family.

Inv. A most Doble piece of nrruitfiTal codatj,

FOOTE.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

493

aod exceeds crcn iKc wns of IgaatiaB ! But thi&
honour I beg to cloclinc.

DrvU, Wlwt ihiiik you, tticn, nf tryini; tbr
stoj^^c? You are ucuuple ol'{>Qod dientrical figurcft;
but how ftre your talent)? can vou wiig?

/nr. I Clin t bci)i»t of niucb skill, bir ; but Mi«A
Harriet {;nc ^txnl rtrputaiiuu in Sjjain.

Har. (Ml, Mr Invoice ! — M; fatlier, »r, w we
Bcldrtoi went out, pstnhlishcd s domestit.' kind af
drutoa, and made us iierfana Minr: little inutiir&l
pieces, that were occaiuotioJIy Mot us fruui Eog-

Dtrcit. Come, sir, will ;oii give us a taste o\
jTOor — just a short — tt li te lor f

[^Siiift a ihort orefudio.

Inv. I must beg tn be excused, sir ; I Imve not
a musical nute m my voice, thol caa picnse vou,

Dcitl. No' Why, then, I iMilieve we must
trouble tlic lady : Come, tnisn, ['il ctiarm a band
to accompany you. [Huret ht stick. — IlAKiitiT
n'n^s.] tJtreedingly well ! Yuu have uothiiit
tu do now, but to oifbr jrourselves to one of tbc
bouses.

Imv. .And which, sir, woald tou recommend f

Drrii. T«lt_e your dioice ; for I can serve you
ID Dcidkcr.

Jnr. No? Ithougbt. sir, you latdnKJusl now.
that ihp ^erera) etts of the drama were under
your direction.

Dcrtt S( they were formerly; but rtuw tlwy
w directed by i\ic Genius of Insipidity : lie hu>

entered into partnership vtiih tbc managers of
bolh housrs, ajid they have wl up ii kind of ctr*
culutiii): hbmrt, fur llic vending ul' dialogue no-
vels. I dure uot go near the new house, for the
dictnon of Power, who gave me Utis lameness,
liiu possessed the pates, und sown discord among
tW inock munardis tlicrc ; and \ibac one re-
ceives, the other rejects. And, as to the otlicr
bntiw, the Tnanaccr ha« crciil mcnt hiuiitctf, with
xbill to disrcni, and candour to allow it in others;
hut I can be of no use in making your bargain,
fur in tlittt lie would be too many for the i.'ui><
niai;e«t devil luoongst us.

Jnv. I have heard of a new playhouse in the
HnTmarkel".

t)nuJ. Wftnt, Foote's? Oh, tfaifs an eccentric,
narrow rstnl)li>hnicni ; a mere sumtucr-fly I lie !
But, ho»ever, it utnv do for a cwtp (/V<«ii, and
prove no btid foununtion for a future engage-

UICIIL

Inv. llicu we will try lum, if too please.

Dertl. By all nicaiis: And you miiy do il ihis
inaant; lie opens tiMiight, and will be glml of
vour assistance. I'll dmp you down at the door;
:n)d must then tnke my lenve for some time.
Al/ontf but (t«n'l iremUe; you Imve nothing to
(ear: The ptiblic Mill treat you with kiiidnesa;
.It Icnit, if titrv slicw but batf the indulfjcncc to
vnu, that they havCf upon all occusiuus, shewn to
that manager.

[Eiotnt omnu.

THE

PADLOCK.

vt

BICKERSTAFF.

DRAMATIS PERSONS.

Don Diego, guardian to Leohoka.
Lbamdek, attached to Leonora.
MuMoo, ierotmt to Don Dieoo.

WOMEN.

Leonora, attached to Leander.

Ursula, an old duenna, attending LE05au

Scen»~-S^amanca.

ACT. L

SCENE L — A garden belonging to Don Die-
go's house.

BrUer Don Diego mu$i7tg, followed by Ursula.

JTon Diego. Thoughts to council — let me see.
Hum — to be, or not to be

A husband, is the quBstion :
A cuckold ! must that follow ?
Say what meo will,
Wedlock's a pUI,
Bitter to swallow,
Aod hard of digesUoD,

But fear makes the danger seeoa dou-
ble.
Saj, Hymen, what mischief can trou-
ble
My peace, shoul^ I venture to try
youf

My doors shall be lodt'd.
My windows be blodc'd;
No mate in my house.
Not so much as a mouaa:
Then horns, horns, I defj you !

Don Diego. Ursula !

Ursula. Here, an't please your worship.

Don Diego. Where isLeo'noru^

Urtula. In her chamber, sir.

Don Diego. There is the kej of it ; diCR
key of the best hall : there the key of the ^
upun the first flii;ht of stairs ; there the k^
the door upon the seoind ; this doable-Jocki
hatch below ; and this the door, that opeai i
the entiT-

Ursula. I am acquainted with eveiymn
them.

Don Diego. You know, Ursula, when I o
Leonora from her father iuid mother, die m*

BiCKERSTAFP.]

BRITrSH DRAMA.

I
I

I

live in the bouse vnth ni« Ihrcc coonths; nt the
expiration of which time, I enured ioto a bond
of I'uur thousand pistolch, eiiber to return her tu
tliciB spotle^is, witD half that sum for a duwnr, or
make Iwr toy mie and lawful vrnt'i;.

Vrxiia. Ami [ warnuii ynu, tlicy came secret-
ly to enquire of me, whether they mipbt veniurv
lo trust your wnnOiip ; \jott\ \ said 1, 1 htive lived
with the f^iitlcniuii niiw years and three quar-
ters coiue lainma*, and ncier ffiw niiy thing un-
civil by hitD in ray Lil'o ; nor no more ( ever did*,
and to let your worahifi Imuw, if 1 iiad, vou
woukl iiave mistaken yuur pcr«on ; for, I bleu
lieavcn, though 1 am poor, 1 in honest, and would
not live nith any man alive, that should want to
handle me uutuwfully.

I'ioR DU/io. Ursula, I do l>eliere it; and you
arc pitnirularly happy, that both your a^e and
your prr»on exempt you fn^iii any such tempta>
tJon. But, be this as it will, IxunontV parent^
after some dilliculty, ron'H-uied to nnnnly » tth
tny prupotal ; and, being fully Naii^tiefl nith their
daughter's temper oud conduct, which I witnted
to be nrqunintud with, this day beiui; the eipira-
tion of the tenn, I aui resolved to fuilil uiy bond,
by marryinK her to-morrow.

UntiliL [ieavcn hlrs« you together !

Don Ditgo. Durini* cite tnnv slic tuu lived with
ne, fA%e has never bccti a utoucnt out of ray
MKht ; and now, tell lue, Ursula, whut hare you
obaen ed in her f

L'rMvla. All meekness and Kentl^ocss, your
worship ; and vet, I warrant you, »hrf^wd and
•eusible; egadl ntien she plcubcs, she can be ta
*bfirp a% a needle.

Dan DUpo. You have not been able to disco-
ver any piirticular ailachmenl^?

Vrt'ula. Why, sir, of late I l»ve obMined

Jitm Difgo.'f.Ul how! what?

L'rtuta. ihat she hu taken greatly to tlie
jtHini; Lirten.

jM}n Dtrgo. O ! it that all t

t'fiuta. Ay, by my faJth ! I don*c think she is
fbud of any ihinii else.

J>Mi lhff:o. Ofnic! Umiila?

V'rtUin, Av, av, of the kitten, and your wor-
and her birds, and going to mns^, I h»rr
notice of late, lliat slie is mighty fund uf
ig to Huttt, aa your worship lets licr early of i\
pximm*.

X)oH Oirfio. Wi'IL ! I am now f^oing to her pa-
1 jents. to let Uiem know nay resolution. 1 will ruit
' cake her with me : becnuse, linviuic Iicen u^ed tu
c>Mifif" HK-nt, and it beJnt; the life I am deter*
joincH hlie hli:i]| lead, it will be only giving her
m l*ai' huhil. I shall return with the good folks
Co-mormw nmrnius; iu Ll>e mean time, Ur&ula. I
«»n^de m y^ur aiieuUon ; attd take care, a» you
%vo<iUI iMcril my favour.

i'rm/a. I »«ril, indcetl, your worsltip; uay, if
^hrrc If n wi(t>m' gcutleMoiiiaii in nil -Salouianca
■liter to look after u young maiden

UttuU

Don Difgo, Go, atid tend Leonora In roe.

I know the world, !ur, though 1 1
Tm cautious, and wise ;
And they, who euriiriw
j!k]y pruutrncc nuddrng^
Must sit up late.

Never fear, lir,

Ytnir safety*! Itere, ti»;

Vf«,yes

m answer for misa :

Let me alone ;
I warrant my care
Shall weigh tu a linir

As much as yoor own.

[Ertl.

Dm Diego. I drenm'i last ni(:ht, thnt I was
(toir^ to church witli Ixonom to be married, and
that we were met on tlie road by a drote of ox-
en 0\en 1 don't like oien ; I «i^ it had

been a Hock of shecpt

Enter Lronora mth a bird on kerjinfftr, vhicH
the holiii iu the other hand b*/ a tiring.

Leo. Say, Utile, ^oolisl^ flutt'ring thii^

Whither, oh ! whither would ;o«
wing

Your airy flight ;
Stay here, and ung^

Yuur mi&treu «i delight.
No, no. no,

Sweet liobin, you shall not p> :
Where, ynu wanton, could you be.
Half so luip|>y a& with mo t

Datt Diego. Leonora !

Im>. Here I am.

Van Diexo- Look mc in the face, aad listen to
me III ten lively.

Ijfo. 1 here.

Dim Dif^o. I luo going this evening to
futlier and mother, and I suppow yuu are not I
nurunt of die cause of uiy joumey r Are you wil
ling lobe my wife?

Lfo. I am willing to do wbatcrer ynv, and mj
fathtir and mother, plense.

Don Diego. Uut tJiat's ihh the thing ; do yoa
like roe ?

Leo. Y e«.

Dttn Diego. What do yoo sigh for f

J^-o. 1 don't know.

Hon Diego. Wlien you came hither, you were
tnlt.eu from a mean little hou5e, ill -tittmiod, and
vt-irrc furnished ; you hod no vrvnnts. ittd were
t)t>liscdj wiUi your molher, to do the woi4( jonr-

Stilf.

BRITISH DRAMA.

M^KZwrrAprJ

Leo. Yes, btit when vm hiul done, I roulH look
out »t tite wiiiilaw, or go a w»ILiD{; la llic ftcUl/i.

Don Diego. Perhaps you dislike confiaemeut ?

Leo. N'o, I doa'l, 1 m sure.

Don DiCfia. 1 say, tlirn, 1 took you from timl
mean ImLHtHiiun, and tuird labour, tu a niiblc
buUdiiig, nod this fine garden: ^^hcrc. 5o far rrom
bcii^ > slare, ^uu are abM>liite miHtreU; and
imtCMl of vte&riug h mean &utrg(fwn, louk at your-
sell* I beseech you ; the dress you have on, is tit
for a priuccss.

Lro. [t ift very fine, indeed.

l)oH Ditfia. NVfll, I.«<inura, too know ia what
maimer you have been trearcd ainio ynii ha%c
been ray cumpanion; ask younwlf a^iin now,
wbcUicr you can be content tu lead a Uft: with
me accoitlii^ to the specimen you have had ?

l^v. Huccimtn!

Van Dictio. Ay, Recording; to llie laaiinrr I
hate trcutfd you according-

/^i. I'll do wlintevtT you pleuae.

Don Dii-^n. Then, my dear, give mfi a kiss,

Sxo. O'Mid b'vt- to you.

Don Difgo. iiert, Ursula !

Br some I am b>ld,

lltat I'm wrinkled and old;

But I wdl not bcltcvc what they say :
I feci my blufxl inouiitinCi
Like nreumi in a fouittiiin,

I'biit racrrily »parl;lc ond play<

For Iwe I hiivo will,
Aud ability still ;

Ofiihidis, 1 can »cnrcely refrain !

My diamond, my jwarl

Well, be n {ood girl,

L'util I cotnc to you again.

[Erie

Leo. !Idt;ho! 1 tiitnk I'm act. lie's

very uuod u> me to be sure, and its my duty tu
lore him, brcnuM! wc nught not to be unijmtc-
ful ; but I vviah 1 wns nut !■> mnrrv liim fur all
that, though I am afraid to tell bino «). Fine
lenlhen^ tliey say, niHke 6ne birt)»>; but. I nin
Mire, ihcT durt't mnke happy onr^: a <narrow h
happier in the fields, di&n a gold- finch in n cage.
Tliere is !>nmcthing makes me iini'hry unea^T.
While lui was tiilktn;; to me, I ihoiiifhi 1 never

saw any thiny look so uely in my life O denr

now ! why dill I fiirypt in ask leave lo gij lu mass
to-m'jrni\v ? I iuppw»f, Iki^um litV xl>n>nd, L'r-
Buln won't take tuc — 1 wish I bad u&ked leaic tu
go to moss.

Wa^ I A shepherd'* maid, to keep
On yonder pluiiis a tltKk uf »llt-^(^
Wi fl pitas'd, I'd w^trh the live-long day,
My cwen at fcrd, myUmbs nt play.

Or wou'd wine bird, that pity brii^
But for ft moment lead its wiu^

My pvmtB Ih^n nii«rhi ravr and ict^d.
My guardian strive my witl to hold :
Hictr words are han4i, his walh an h^
But. spitR of an, away I'd Ay,

SCEXE n.—ChaMg€t fo « Mtmt im Snitmtnf.

LcAKDEft aittr$ (TifA fico tchoiarg ; mil m tl^
umZKrstty gotftu,

l^an. His name i$ Don Oiei^n ; there's la
houM, like annthcr mmuufeerr, or rallier pmoa;
\\\s Mirvanta are an aaaent ffoeniw, and a ncpv

SIUT&

ti( .Sf Art. And after having lt»t?<J fifty wart i
bnlcbeliir, lhi» uld fvlinu- lm» picked up a y<>a(
ihitu: of sixteen, whooi he by c^uhkc mw iai
I'lditmy.

i.*-««. Yes; her pnrmts an> decaiTcd ^am,
that live nlmiit n mile iir two from *ihTMrT
here ; and lie luu mudc the roott tsJtcdwt
ngn'rmrnt with iheio !

Iii Scho. And y<»u are in (o»c with the firi?

Lean. To desneration ; a»d I Itclierc I a
notindiflerLiit loher; for finding thai bcrictjb«
Kuardion took bcrto lh«> c^npei of a owibwr
iiig convent every mormn^ bpfurc it was M^ I
went there, in the babit uf n ri)li:rin), plaoCi«|m-
self as near hir hs I could ; I then %aried at i^
peoraiioe, rontiuuini; itj dn 30 from time fo'tiw;
till I wns cuiiiiinctrd she hiuJ suffidcnilv jcmii'
cd, ami undrr^tuud my tncaiune.

lif Stha. Well, l,rander, 1*11 iaj ritat fot jat
tliei-e is nul n more iudustriom lad m thr ^
vei^iiy of Salomanta, when a vctxh » to k
tV-rn'tpd.

2rf Sfho. But, prithee, tell us now, hw 4i4 j«
cet infomuitjoa?

Ixau. Fir$r, frooi report, vihicfa nuM^ m
curiuwiy ; and afterwards from tJ»c nepw 1 jK
tKrtv meotinned : I observed, that, when m
fumily was i;o(ie tu bed, he oftt.11 caaw It v
himv;lf at yonder grate. You know I an no M
dioutcr, nor a verr .icurry tnm^rrl ; «l raluc t
cnitar, clnppjni; n blitrk untcti on mv <
swHtlic upon i>\.v of my Ic^*, 1 vHmV >
quainlancc with my frinid ,Muii::ri. lie ■*«»'
my annua and sarabands^ and, tiikiiq; tsc M ■
poor tnpple, nfti n repuya me with a " ^
liis nllnwanoe, w hich I aooept, tu avuid 1

Ut Seho. Aud Ml

Lean. Aitd m, sir, he has sn<4 i
wcfdi? ftf his family, and one worth _
fur lip inl'ormi'd nte la^l nt^ht, tliai his ttitP'

will lliis (vcnmi; take a tW- - .ry'a^^

rounlry, frum »%lieiicc he p' . ui ffW

till t/>.rnnri-iiw, leaving hi* jL-.-i^ .. .,v UM ii •
be, hehiii'l him.

•id Scho. Zounds ! let's oode the wall !

Uuu. fair;uid viftty 1 1 will this iwua: F
a'litl put on mv diapitse, watch fur tlkr I^'"
unine; out. attack my urtro fr»et»d, and try ff.''
ht> Mieiius, I cnnnot conic inti> the lnui*^, '^ ^
\iMaij get a b^it of my chamdiig aA|cl

I

BlCKBBSTATFri

BUITISH DRAMA.

I
I

It/ Scho, Ad{^I ! If the then w handwiroe ?

T.enH. Ii is rime for us to withdraw : come (o
luv chambcn^ luid tliore you tHaii Ldow nil yon
cnn dcsi/e.

Hicher, Venus, with yoor flovcs,
llithrr, nil ve little lurn ;
Hound nic tijeht )f>Mr wiiigs Hisptny,
Aiid bear u luvor on hi» nnr.

Oh, cfmid I hut, like Jove nf old, [

Transtunn myself to shijwcry gold ;

Or ill X snnn m;r pnswon shroud, I

Or wrap it in nri uri^nt ctnud ;

H'hot locks, wimt bora shuuld then imppde,

Or keep me trom my cUarniiii;; inaid 1 [A'xiV.

9CENE lU.—Chan^n to (kr otihitle of Don
Dirr-o's hoiae, whirh api>rar$ mUh tciniknft
tarred up, and un iron grtitc hff'vrc *in entry.

Dov DiEoo mtertfrom the hotue, having firtt
Mniocked the door, and rtmoTtrd Ixo or ihrre
hart vhich auisted inj'astenini; it.

Don Diegn. With iJio precautions I liave
taUao, I think 1 niu no rt&li in quitcini; my huu«c
for ■ ihort time. Leonora has ntver thcwii ihc
Jeftst iiii-huBtion to deceive mc; bwidcs, niv old
womani»prudrnt nnd faithful; Ahrliu&alHhcltcjrs,
and will not ptirt with them from herself: hut,
auppnse — suppose — by tlit rood nud wiut Fran-
cis, I will not lenre it in her power to do mischief.
A woiUBit's not havim; it in her power to deceive
you, ii tlic best aeciiTitv for her Biinlity, and line
ooly one a wise man will congiic in ; fast bind,
safe lind, i^ an pxretleiit pnncrb : I'll e»en lock
her op wtth the rc«t ; llicre is n haup to the dwjr,
■nd I have a pndl<K:k within, whicli shall be aiv
^amntec. 1 will wait till the negro returns
with provUions ho is g"'^*' *" purchaie ; and,
dapping thi'in all up ti^ther, make my mind
c«9y, by baring titc key they ore uiitlcr in my
pocket.

Hr Enter ilv»co vith a hamper,

H Afungo. Gof Rct you down, yoii damn hamper,
H vou carry mc now. Curse mv old masm, sciid-
~inig mc always here and dore Jbr one Homethmg

ro Eonkc mc tire like a mnle-^curse htm impcr-

Mtce— <md him damn intiirancx !
DoM Diego, How now ?

kJUunffo. Ah, moMn, bless your heart !
Dttn Diegu. \Vliat'» that you arc muttering^
I tirrah?

MuAgo. Notliing, maasa; otily me any, you
TCfT good niasHiu

Dim Diego. What do you tcare yoar load
.tfovn there for ?

JUwfm. Maitu, mc litly tire.
jyon Diego. Take it up, not-al.
Mfungo. Yes, bitss your bean, ma»a !

Vol. m.

i}on Diego. No, lay it downt now I Utink
on't, come hither.

ilynco. VVhal you tny, rnaua ?
Don j)iego. (.'an you le huoest?
Mttngo. A(c iiu aavec, ina^sn ; yon never at
me bel'urc.

DoH Dtfeo. Can you tell truth i

Manfio. What you pivr me, ntassaf

Don Diego. Ttiere'a a piuiL-eti r<ir vi>a ; now
tell me, do you know of any ill going on in my
house '

MiMgo, Ah, mtuM, a damn ileid!

Don Dieeo, How ! that I'm n Mninper to ?

Mungo. No, mtu(*a, you lick uie eicry day
with your ratmn : I'm tiirc nin*sn, Uiot*! mia
chief enough fur pmir ncf;i-r uinn.

Uan Diefio. So, so.

JUun^n. La, mi^sn, liow oould ynti hare '
heart to lirk poor lic^r man, at you lick Mi« la
ThupMlav ?

Don l)iefio. Ifyou have fMt a mind I ftboul^^
chaitise you now, boUl your tnneue.

ilfuneo. Yes, ninian, if you no lick tne a^tn.

Dob Diego. 1 jslcn to me, 1 say.

JlfuMj;o. You kiuiw, mnMa, mc very good ler-
raiit.

Don Die/;o. Then ynu will go on }

Mungo, And oucht to be u»c kine

Dan Dirf;o. If you utter nitother ^llaWe

AluHgo. And I'lti »ure, tnaMa, ynu can't deny '
but I worky worky — I dress a victuals, und run '
a ernuids, and wash a kiuv, and make a bvda,
and acrub a sliock, and wait n tafal(i

Don Diego. Take tliai — Now will yoU liaMu
to me?

Ulirago. \jif maasB, if prer I saw —

Don Dirfio. I am |;oinc; nl>mad, and shnll not
recarn till to-morrow mi>rniiig — During Iht;>ni)tlit
I charge you not tn sleep a wink, but be w«t<!h-
ful 8b a IviTX, and keep walking up and down iha
entry, that, if vuu hear the least itoise, you may
alarm the family.

Afkif^'O. So I must he «tny in a roltl all niebt,
and have no tJeep, and i;et nu tanks ntiliivr:
then him cull tuc tief, and ro^ut;, and nucal, to
temp me.

Don Diego. Stny here, perverse animal, nntl
lake can', tJiat nobody approaches cite dour ;
t am going in, ami shall be out again in a mo-
meat. [^^''

Jdungo, Dear heart, what a terrible life am I let) !
A doe baa a better, that's sheltered and
fed:
Night nnil day 'lis de mui**.
My pain i« dere p^nic ;
Mc wifth to dc l<orU nie was dead !

Whate'vrS m he dune.
Poor black must run;
.Muii|£(t heir, Munf^tf dc(*(
Mungo every wlwrc;

3H

BRITISH DKAMA.

[BlCKBHSTAl

hirr»li lome, sirrah go !
Do M, aud do to.
OK ul> !
Me wit>li to dc Lord mc nas dead I

£ij/fr Dos DiEco nitfi rBsrtA, irAo, afier the
Mtgto fioei, >M, afifiran to bt>ll thr ifimr on the
intitici Theu Don \iiTx-o, unienibtitfif.m,iiuti
on a iur/^r padlock, attd fioes off. AjUr icntth,
Lea\'uik enters dii^uisettj a»d Mvtmo comet
to the gtvte.

Ltttn, ^vi — ray old ArRns is dcpRrtrd^ And
the evening; » n» favottraUe for inv de&ijtm a» I
couM vt'i»b. N'tw to aiimct my friend Mungo;
if he i« « ithiii liranng uf my guitar, I ntn Hire lie
wilt qiiu'kly miikt: titii nppoiiniiici:.

Afun^a, Who g'lLs dtrt- ? — Uip, llnI^J !

Lre'\, lloi^c-n blc«9 you, my worthy mnstcr,
will ^our m>r»liip't) Iminur liiite » lltllu iiiubic
Uits etcitinc^ unil I have [C'^^ a ilcliciuu^ buutn
ofrorO'il liere, civcii n»e by a cturituble lonnk
of n ruitvriii hard byi if jrour ffacc will pleoso
to tu-ktc it.

AInngit. r.ire ni« iiip, troo n prate; come
closer, man ; doti'l bi- I'l^nr ; nlil nia^sit tiuiie out,
a» 1 say latl iiruht, attd ht; uo cutiie boik Ufjre
tn-niorrow ; cutiip, trikec tnuouc, and give ut
uiie.

Ju:an. I'll pve vour wurship A song I leam-
cd ill Borltoi-y, wnen I waiia slave soHmg tlic
Mwirs.

Munga. Ay, do,

Ixau. I'htrc wHk a rruel and malicious Turk,
who was called licli AliOalluh Mahonif^t Stah.
Nun, \lm wicked Turk bad a fair Cliiistinn slave
named ^v^!lhv\, \Oui, not cuum-iiIih^ Iu hi^ ben^t-
ly deMtCJ^, Itc dran;» out his «nlirc, nitd iit funnz
to cut ulT Iter head. Here's what he Bay^ to her,
[.Siri^i Ht«/ /i/tiv«.] Now you i^Uall hear ihc sliive's
nnsMcr. {Stnf;t ami phif* (J][ain.] Now yon ^i;il|
Lear how tliti wirkcd 'lurk, being greatly eiimg-
cd, is apiin ^tnv^ to njt off the fair i^lavc's
head. [•Vine's and ptaift again.] Auiv you shall

hear

Aimtfio. What signify me bear? — Me uo un-
dersiaod.

Ixiin, Oh, you want son>rih)i)e you uodet^
•buid ! If your honour had said tbni-^^

Z'rtula, Mun^n, Mun£o!
MunjiO. Sonic one call ilere—
Vrtula. Muiigir, I suy !
AJuHffu. Vi'Ual devil you want ?
Vrtuia. What Iewdnoi»c tstlnitf
Mungo. Ix'wd you iclf, no lewd here; plav
awnv ; iiorr mitui Iter.

V'suia. 1 shall coma dowtij ir^ov go on.

Mungo. Ay, come alonCt more merrier ; not-
ini* here but poor mau; Itc siufr for bit of bread.

L'rtata. I'll hate no poor man near our dogr :
lliirk'c, feltowr ran you plav Uic FitrMLkcn TiUkIi
Deligitt, ttr Black Bess uf ^^RStile } Ah. Mut^i^
if you had heard tne sine, wthcii 1 wa« yoaae—

Mhugif. Gad, I'm sure, I bear you voice omn
coMii^h, now yon nid.

VrsttUi. 1 could quaver like any Uack-faitd.

Mungo. Come tbruw a pcx>r loul m peuiy; W
play a tune for you.

i'rtitla. liuw did you lose tlic ase of jav
leg?

Jj-nn. In the ware, my good dante: iJ
taken by a Borbary cor>air, and varrir^l
Sutlee, where i lived ctevcD years and ]
quartern upon cold water and the roots
eurib, Hititout having a cOHt on my
Inyin^ my hcud ou a pUlow ; an iiihdcl bou^
we fur a stave; be gave roe the strappado oa oi;
shoulder^ and the ha.'.tinnda on the »ule5 of mr
feel : i)uw this iutidcl Turk tuid fifty-tlaqe
wives, aud one huodrtd aud twelve cooo*
bioes.

VrtuUi. Then be was an unreasooable i

LioyoKA ab0X€.

Lao. I'rsula !

Vrtuia. Ud's my life, wbai's liere u im\
Go hack, so buck : line work we sitall hav^ii-
deed ! jioimI man, good bye.

7,Ar. I could not hXny any longer by myMlT;
pray let mc take a tittle air at ttws grate '

I.fan. l)o, worthy madam ; k--t the yMC
gentlewoman litay ; I'll pluy her a love miafit
UDtJiing.

Ursula. So, no, none of your love tones bm:
if you coidd play a Buralmnd indeed, and (!■>
wa<f roam for one's moLiuns—

Lrun. I am but a |>oor man, but if mrlal*'
ship Mill let me in as far as i|>c hai^ Ot A*
kitchen, you may all duDoe, and I ftbaa^aAa?
lliiiiS.

Vrtuia, Why, if it was tiot on my mor'^
account, I should tbinlc no bnmi m a Bud> *'
nocfnl rcircatinn.

Atungv. Do, aiid let us claitcc.

Lean, llasjma'ani the keys, t4tm?

('r$»ta. Yes, yes, I buve the keyi.

Lrwn. Ilnrc you the kiv of this
loo, madam ? Ilere'^ a padlitc-k upoo tbt'
Ih'iivcn help us, largo enough lor a
con.

Vnultt, Eh — how — wliai, a padlodt !

iSumgo. Here it U, 1 fed it; adod its i tw
per !

Urriita. lie was afraid to trust me, thai ?—

Mungo. And if dc house was a lite m***
of U9 get out lo MVP nursclvt .I.

Lfon. NVelt, muduiii, tiot to di

and the >gung lady, 1 kiiuw ilic bmk afj

BfCKBRSTAFP.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

fHinlon »nll, nnd I'll tmdcrtnke to cct up nt
tlie outside of it, if you tun let iiu.' down on tlic
other.

L'rtutn. Do you think ;ou could with jour
lame leg?

Leon. Ovn, madmii, I*tii very Mr*.

Vmla. Tlieti, bv inv i'aitli, you sImII ! for
now I am »cl on't- — A padlock f Muogo, come
Willi roe into the ^ardrn.

[Hxtunt MPKGOiTrHiUiiaDL*.

Lee, Pray let me ro with you !

Limn. Soiy, charmtng creature ! why will you
fly the youth iJiat uilore* ymi ?

/</«. Oh, l^rd ! I'm rrti;hied out of my wits !

Leon. Hnve _\oii not taWcti notice, Utnutrtius
LMNMirm, of the pilgrim, uho lia» so often met
yoa at cburchf I nm that p:lgrim ; out nho
Would chatif^ shapes ua often as Protuus^ to be
" with a sight of you.

bMMd

■ Leo.
I Lean.

0 thou, whose charmt ensUve my

iienrt !
In pity hear a youth complain -

1 most iioi JH-ar — ilcnr ymitli, depart—
I'm ccrtniii I hotv no dcxTt,

A (Eeotleinan like you tognin.

Then, du I Hcpk your kive in vain i

It is aiiutlicr's right;

And he,

Diatnicting thouf^ht ! must happy be,

Wliile 1 aui doomed Ir) puin.

ACT

SCENE I.— ^ M/ in Don DtEce's Amuc.

VrwUu Come round, yoang mad, I've been )

try.
AXitng0. And fo hnrc I.

I'm sun* the wall is not too high.

If v'tii pIcaiK,

You'll iiiouoi with eaw.
Lean, Can voo to aid my blisk deny i

Sliall' it be Mj ?

ir you say no,

I will DOC gn.
Leo. I must convnt, howmer loath :

lUit wlx-ncvt-r we deiire,

Mukc him promine to retire.
Vrsitla. Nny, marrv, he »liaU lake lii« onth.
Lrmn. Hy yimr e%ex, of heuvenly blur;

ISr your lip's an>bro»i»l dew ;

Your cheeks, where tmn and Itlj
blend;

YMir vo'tctr, the music of the spbercs.|
Mungo, l^rd u'mercy, how he swears !

He makes my Kutrs

All stand an end !
l/rntZo. Come, t\\\\i\ cnuugh; nsceitd, asccud^

IfiS be happy while we may:

Now the old one's far :itf av,

Ijitittli, aod flutg, »ud dance, and play;

ilarmlcss [Measure why delay ^

[£xruH^

IX.

£mter LuAXOca in a rich fiabit, Ursula yo^
ioanHg,

I

Urmia. Ob. shame \ out upou't ! sir, talk to
aw no more; I, that have been famrti throuph>
ODt all Spain, as I iiuiy sny, fur virtue and di^
crrbuti ; ihc very tlower and quitileswncc of rtu-
BttBBs; you have cost a blot upon mc; a blot

Tn my rcpatation, thni was n^ f.iir n» a piece
ivliite pa|irr; nnd miw 1 shall be ret-ilrtl,
puiutt:<l nt : nay, men will aiW rae filUiy naiucs
apiMi your account !

Lton. Whsi liltliy namtrft will they call youf

UtMuU. They'll say I'm lui old procurcM.

t^an. Fy, (y\ men know better thinjts ; be-
«(lv^ tlioufih I have ^,o^ ndmitbince into your
lioufte, be K^tircd t shall coianut no oulmze
bere; and if 1 hate been guilty of aity iodiscrc-
tion. let Invc be my excuse.

t/mla. Well, as X live, he's a pretty younjc
Ulow ! [AiiHe.

L^an. YtMi, my sweet L'rsula, have known what
H ift to be in love ; ami, 1 wnrrant. have had nd-
■Mrera often ut your feet ; yuur tyes sUjl ri:(aiii
£re cuuugU to tell utc tliat.

Ursula. THey tell you no lie; for, to be sorn '
when I Ka« u youni;; woman, I wb» crently sniishc
after; nny, it was reported that a youth died for
love of lae ; one Joseph Peni, a tailor by lnidr« '
of the greyhound ninke, lank ; nnd, if mv menK»-
ry fail uic nut, his rifht shoulder, about the
breadth of my hand, higher thiiu his left ; but ho
WHS nnrtulit aain arrow; and, by all accounts,
une of the fiuest worVuien at a buttou-hole!

Lean But wlwrc is Leonora ?

i'rtui«. WItcTO is sliel By my Imtli, I ha\'«
hhtit lipr up ill her chamber, under Uircc bohs,
aud u double loek.

l^an, fVnd will you not brin^ us lt*i;rther?

Urtuia. Willi, [ ! How can you iihk me Mich ft
question t Keally, sir, I take it extremely un-
kind.

Lean. Well, but you miMpprehcod-^—

I'ltHla. I told you just now, that if w>u inen-
tt'tTwd that to tne u^rain, u would mnke mc sick ;
and so it hni turned tne upiHdc down as it were.

Lean. Indeed, luy bc»l fi»-iid

Vrittla. Oh, oh ! hold me, or I shall lall.

Letin. I will hold ymi.

Vrtu/a. And dij you feel an/ compusioD €ot
roe?

Lcttu. I do, I do.

500

BRITISH DRAMA.

[BlCKEBfTArr.

Vnttla. WItT, tnily, yu Unve a (tn-iit ileal tc)
answer lur, (o hnnt, ttnrH iiiiu my vyv% at this
lirm: u* d»y. I'm Mire they are the first 1 have
altcJ. aiucc my pmir denr liii^bHiiil's tkath.
Jxan. Nny, (ion't thiiik of itmt iiuw.
Vrtrnfm. For yuu luu^t utider^taiid, ur, to play
A intk upoo a pni*e. Hiscnrri uiatroo — And yer,
aftirr nil, In my liitli, I don't Hundcr you shuuki
ovt' tlic yiKiitg ihilig under tny cure ; for it U one
af Uic ftMcrtrtt cunilitioiied toulft tlint ever I vrt^
L-quiunlcd t«ith; oiul, betwrfii uunclveft, our
Uoitii-cc IB tuu old fnr micIi a babe.
Ltan, Urtula, take tliu ^old.
I'rttifa. rnr«luit,ur^
J^att. (hiiy ftir ttie tote of rae.
Urmia, Nay. \( tint be all. I wuu'l rcfuae tl>
for 1 line \nu, 1 asaurv you ; ytm put uic m>
Tiiucli in miiul of my poor dear husband. I Ic iva«
u handMtine mou ! I rcmcmlMT lie had n mole
brtwccn Ins rye-brow*!, about iIm* biirnes'* of i\
iia?.ei nui ; hut, I intut mv, yod toive ilie atlvan-
%atv in the loner )ian of tlicciiuntciiance.
Z/uN. The old Iwldam groM^ amorouft —
1 rmla Loifi lore you, you're n wcll-luoking
>rourte iniin !

Lean. Hut, lA-oiiora.

(>iu/(i. Ila hn. ha! but to prrtcnd you were
Iahk —1 DL^ver mw •% liner teg in my Life.
i^fow. ].^Ntiinrai
h'nula. >V(-II. fir, I nnt O'Sninc.
Ltut. I »linll iieirer get riti of her!

Vrtulv. Sir -^

l^an. How now?

Vrmla. VVni,lH you be fto kind, sir, as to in-
dul|[e UK uilh llic favour of a aolute }
ij-oa. I'tb !

IrMhfa. Cad-a-inercy, your dieck I well, well,
Tc wTn thr ilny — bot no mattiT, my winr't
I the Ire'j i)'»w ; bowevcr, sir, you inigltt Ii«»r
h:iil the |r.hri-n<*ss *«hen a fientlewoinati madr
tlte offer— Liut Heaven bleu you!

When a woman'* front » wrinkled,
Atid h<r haar* are *{'i'inLled
With Erev,
I jirl-n-dNT !
)luw bcr lorcn fall nway !

like fn*liinn« past,

Aside bite's nut,

No one mpeci will pay:

UenirmlKT,

]ji««e4, reiiinnber,

And whik (he kun i>hiacA makeltay;

You must not expect in December

'llie flowers you gatliered in Mar.

[Exit UUULA.

Enier Muxoa

MuH. All, raa«M ! You bnivr nia^su now .'
what you do lirre wid dc old wrouuiii f

Jxmn. W here is your voun^ niistre«A, Uuagjo ?

Jfiin. By ('OK, iltc loclt. Iwr up. Ruiwhr vou
no tell mc before time, yau a gcutlciuan ?

Lean, SuK 1 bav« ootgivcu tke puna for no-
ihine !

JVfun. PurM ! What ! you |t>viui: licr mancy,
dcD? Cur»c tier impuraacc, why you no gire it
nio } you luve me toinetliiog ns weU ai she. Yoa
Wiiow, maua, you M'e me &nt.

J^aa. There, tliere — -are you content?

aiun. Mc i;ct supper ready, oud now me fp
to (k cellar — tlut 1 My, musa, ax de old aaa
now, what ii<kh] him waicbing do* him bolta, aad
him bars, luoi wail% aud him padUick i

Ltan. Hist! Leoaura cotaea.

A/ufl. But, wnMj yuu aaj you teacfa me
play?

Let mc, vtbcn my beort a sinking

Hear dc 9wcet (laitQr n clinking;

When a «tnn|c »peak.

Such moosic he make,

Mc won am cured of linking.

Wid lie toot, toot* loot.
Of A merry flute.
And cymbalf).
And tymbalo,

To bout ;

NV c dance and we mdc.
Till wc oMtke a house nagt
Aud, tied in hit garters, old Mnssa mav ]

[£/<f iltra

Enter Lfcosoiti oju/Vh^vlx.

LemH. Oh, clmmini( l^eonora! bow ilnlt I
exprcM the rupture of my heart upon this occa-
*mni J timoai donbc the kindnmaf thai chance
VI Inch lias bruuf^ht me thus happily lu see, to
fcptak to vou, Hithniil rp«ilr:iiiit.

I rmlA. WcU, but it atvM not be withant rt-
>fr4ifit : it nui*t be wilfaeat reslrHut ; tt csb'I. bf
my bilh ! now yo« wfw 9»iiig 10 uaake loe Mck
upia.

Leu. La, (.'rsuln, I dunA to aar, the grnticviu
dorHi'i wont to do me any hano- -Do ywi, lir'
I'm sure I MTfinld imt hurt a hair of his heafL nor
iHib<Kl>'k dw, lirr tiH lut re of tlic nhole wnrU.

l'/ni!u. C'oiiK-, *ir. whric i» ynor lute' Yoa
ahaU sec UIC daiwo a Bambatal ; or, if voa'd nt-

ituT lM*e a aung or tho dntil nml 1 will mote

n tniuutft, if you cliuse erare bcfrKv agililT.

/ytiM. This ful«imc hat rkdan

LeiK I duti't know mHoi's cinoe o»et her, Br;
I iKvcr Mil* the like of livr, lunce I was bora.
Jxan. 1 H i^h blir wms at the devil \
Lf'.'. liraala. wluit'a ilit; matter wirh Toa?
Vrguia. Whai^ till- ninirrr wjtJi me I Marry
coior up. wluitV tlie ranttrr with rrm i ^nior
l)>t.-CU cuii'l iliew such It sli:u>e »« that; aeK,
tliere ts iDlltine i like better lltatl to see a vtw^
fdkw vtitli u *v\\ nmdc hg.

DlCKBBSTAFF.J

BRITISH DRAMA

Lenn. Prithee, lee u» go awav from bcr.

l^o. I Hoit't know how to ilo it, sir.

Jvan. Nothinc inort: cosy; I will go with rnv
guitar toto the pnrdrn ; 'tu muoiwlighl; tate *n
opportunity to fullai* idc th^rc: [ swc&r to you,
nrMiilifiil ajtd iiuiocctit creature, you hare no-
ttuRf lo Bpprcheod.

1^0. No. »ir, I am certain of that, wiib a
gentleman Mic-h as j'la are; and that Imvo takuii
■o much pains to come after mc ; and 1 should
hold mv*elf rery un^rntefnl, if 1 did not do any
thing to oblige you, in a rivil u-ny.

i<c»a. Then you'll cutnei

J^o. I'll do my be»t cridcflroim, lir.

Lean. Aod may I hope that you love mef

Leo. I dnn'l kimw ; a^ to tlxnt, I can't say.

Urtuia, Cotne, come, what colloeaini^'s here?
I mu>t Me how things arc going forward ; be-
side^ sir. you ouj^lit to know, (hat it is not man-
ners to be trctting iiiiu corners, and whispering
bel'orr company.

Jjtait. I'&haw !

Vnuls. Ay, you may ny Tonr plea.qire, sir,
but I'm Hire whar 1 ^ay is the rij^ht thing; I
thualU hardly ctiuse lu venture in a corner with
^u myself: nay, I would not do it, I protest
mad »ow

Letn. Beautiful Leonnrn, I find my beinj; de-
pend* upon liic bicftsing uf your gund opiniun;
do vou tlesirc to put lut eud to my days?

Lto. No, indeed, indeed I don't.

Lmn. But then

In vnin you bid your captirc lire.

While yon the means of lile deny ;
Cive Mie ynur «niles, your wishes t^vc,

To him whu must without you dii;.

Shut from the sun*s enlivening beam,
Hid IlijwtT* retain their scent and hue ;

Its Hjurocdritrd u|i, bid flow the stream,
And me ext&t, deprived of you.

[Ent Ltxy.

fnula. Let me sir down a little: romc hither,
efaild, ( am going tn gtvo you gwid advice; thc-iL-
fore liaen lo me, for 1 have more years over my
IuhkI than you .

Leo. VS'cll, und what then?

Vrntla. W|i»t tlien ? MaiTV, then vou must
MHDd what I my to ynu— ns 1 said before — but,
I tay — what WB5 I rayiiie ?

i.ro. I'm <>ure 1 iluii't know.

Vrtu/tt. Vnu «i<e ihc youn;; man that is C'^nt
ant (lierc; ho ha^ been teUinu me, tKni he's dy-
ittjt Ajr love of you; caa you lindiu your lumrt to
Iw hiinrxpin;?

i^j. I'm vtrc I wno'tdn any thine bad.

I'ftu/a. Wity, chiU'% right ; you learned that
fruiii tiM- ; tuiti! I not snid to you a thuu^iiiid
tmir^, ncicr do any tlung bud ? Uavc not I stiid
it^ Aiuiver tnc that.

I^n. Well, and whnt then f

Vrtuia. \'vry wi-ll, haten to me: your eaard**
an is old, and ugly, and jealous ; aud yet he may ]
live lunger than a better man.

Leo. He has been very kind to toe, for all '
that. Ursula, and I ouglit to strive to ptcaao him*

Ursula. 'Inhere again ! Ii«ve not I said to you a
thousand times, that he was very kiod to you»
nnd you aui;ht to strive to pleiue him r It would
be a bard thing to be preacliing from morning
till night witlumt any prnfii.

Lot. Well, Ursula, after all, I wish this gen-
tleman had oei'or ^t into the bouse; HcaveM,
wntl no ill comes of it !

Urtula. Av, I say so, too; Heaven send it} |
but I'm cruelly afraid ; for how shall we get rid J
of him } he'll never be able to crawl up the in^l
side uf the wulL, whatever be did the out.

Un. OLord! Won't he?

I'rsula. No, by ray conscience, won't lie; mid
when your gimrdian comes in, if we had fifty
necks n-picce, he'd twist them every one, if he
liiuU him here. For mv part, the best I expect|
is lit (rod my nid day? in a prison,

I.fO. You don't say so !

Ursula. 1 do indeed ; and it kills ine to ttiink
of it; but every one has their evil day, and tliit
bn; been mine.

Lro. 1 have prumiMd to go to bim into tha
l^arden,

Vrtuia. Vay, you may do any thing now, fori
we are iindono ; though I think, if you could per^
suaile hiDi to get up the chimney, >nd May on
the roof of ilir house till tomorrow night, wra
might I hen steal the keys fVom your guardian;
but I'm afraid you won^t be able to pcrauade
him,

/^o. I'll gn down upon my knees.

Urauia. ^nd him out, while I step op stain.

Lro. l*rav for 05, dear I7rsula.

Vrmla. t will, if X possibly can.

Leo. Oh me, oh me, wh.it slmtl we do !
Tlie fault is all aliingof you :
You hmiight him in, why flid ytni suP
Twni not by my desire, you know.

We have but t/Mi much cause to fear.
Mv guardiiin, when lie comes w hear
WV've had a man with us, will kiU
Me, you, and all : indrcd Iwi will.
No penitence mil pnnlon pnxure,
He'll kill us ev'ry soul, I'm sure.

[Exit Lr^o.

8CBNB IL

Eater Don Pino, grnpinff M* tMy, vsfA /W|

jMiiilock 1(1 kit hand.

Don Diefto. All dark, nil qiiirl : gone tn bed,
and faai aaletp^ I warraol iheoi. Iloftever, 1 am

fiOS

BRITISH DRAMA.

not son7 thnt [ altcrftd my ftnt intention of stny-

int: (Hit tbc wiidlc ni^lit; mid iiiccliiig Lucnnom'^

fiiUirr uii die rouil wus, ill any rate, a lucky iu-

cidc'iiT. I t«ill not disturb tticin ; but, Miure I

ha*c Ipt myself to Miith my m««UT-key, gfi »oftly

lu bt'd ; I »-lmll be ubic to ru^kc a li)(l>i; anil

then, I iJiink, I may say my cares are ovtr.

iCoimI Hcnveiii! whnt a wondrrful deal of un-

(jeasiiie^^ niny mortals nvuid by a tiltic prudviict: !

JX doubt iioL uow, there arc »o!ne roen who would

liluvc (iODC out in tnv situation, and, iruitins to

1 the goodness of Furturw, left tlicir h(>u»e and

|tlieir honour in ihu curu of an iucipt-ric lived girJ.

|or cbe diKretiot) ofa uictcenary sennnt. Wliile

! u abroadi he i& tomientcd wiili fnifB ttid Jt-a-

f Jtmsics; and when he returns imtnc^ be prij^Kibty

) fuids diMirder, und, cierliups, sbnine. But wluit

t do 1 do ? — I put a padlock ou my door, and all 15

[ nfe.

^nter Mi^NHO jfiJtn the cellar, uith a ^fUnk in
one huntif auit a candle in the other.

Mungo. Tol, lul, lol, lol.

Dan Diego. Hold ! did not I b«iur a Dot$e !

Muitf;o. Hola !

JJoH Diego, Hcarcn aiid earth ! what do I
Kc!

Mujtgo. Where arc you, yfiuiig nuuan, and
niUsy r Here wine fur supper.

Don Dieeo, I'm tbundep-stnick !

Mun^o. My old mii>>sa liltir link ire b« so

mtrry hie — hie — What's die mnitcr with tne ?

the room turn round,

Don Dieu't. Wretr h ! do you know roe ?

Muuf-o. Kmiw you damn you !

Dan Ditgo. Horrid creature ! wl»at makes

you here ut this time of ni);lit? is it with a dc-
i\%a to snrprisc llic intHM:euts in their beds, and
Okurdcr tliuiii tvlecpinfc ?

Muiigo. Uuih, hufth — make no noise—— hie
—hie.

Don Diego. The slave is intoxicated !

Muitfio. Miike no iiuisc, I iiay ; dcre^ ynnni^
gentleman wid ynung lady ; tic piny on guitar,
and »he bke him hetler dan slie bke vuu. Fal,
lal, lal !

Don Dtrgo. Monster, Til moke on example of
jou !

Mungo. What you call me names fv^r, you old
dov }

DoH Dirgo. Docs tlic villain dare to lift bi&
hand ogaiust mo !

Mungv. Will you fight ?

Don Dicpu. He'a mad!

Mungo. l)ert-4 one in de house you lilllc link.
Gild, he do you business !

DoH Diego. (Jo, ly down in yotir stye an<!
klcep!

lilungo. Sleep! itleepyou self; yon drunk—
ha, lia, lut ! look, u padhuk ; you put a padli>ck

wi a door again, will you? Ua, lia, ha I

1

tBiCKEBSTAFF.

i>c"i Diego. Old not I boar music ?

MuHfiO. llic — llic

Don Diego. Wa& jt nut the souod ofa piilar^

Mungo. Ves, be play 011 dc guitar rw«ly—
Give mc hand ; you're old rascal an'i yoo?

Don Dieg*t. What dreadful shock ntfiecu me!
I'tn in a cold sweat ; a mnt come^t over my cjn;
and my kncrs knock together, as if I bad nt a
bl of tiic sbaktiit; pai^y.

Atuttfict. I tell you a word in your ear—

thit Diego. Has uuy strmngier broke iMo ny
house f

Mungo. Yes; by— hio — « line yomg fpak-
man ; he now in a next lOutn with nuMv.

Don Ditt;o. Holy saint Franci» ! Is'itpaai-
Mc? "^

Mango. Go you round softly yoa tiOk

them toawicr.

Don Difgo. Confosion ! diatractioD ! I dall
run mud !

O wherefore this terrible fturry !

My spirits are all in a hurry I
And abi^ve, and below,
From uiy tup to my toe.

Are runitittg about hurry scurry.

My heart in my bosom a bumping*

Gr>ea diuinpiii^

And .)uiopii»i;»

And thumping:
Js't a spectre I -ice !
Hence, xaaisli, ah hip !

My senses ifeccivc me ;

Soijn rensou will leave me :
Wluit a wrcldi am I de«tiucd to be.

SCENE III.

I

[Ifil.

MuKoc^ VaavtMy Leahdesi^ Lxoxou.

Urs. Usikame, monstrous! you dnmkmwil^
ynu liiuc been 111 the cellar^ with a ptipM *>
you !

Mungo, Let me put my hiuida abovl 911
neck

i'n. Ols I shall be ruined ! lU-lp, hrip '. im,
ruin !

i^nn. Goodness me. whatN the matter f

Vrt. O dear child, tins black vilbtin basfn^
eacd me out uf my wil»; he has vrnnlcd— —

Mungir. Me ! cuTM a benri, I want MMf
wid her — what ftlic say [ want tor-

Ixo. Ursula, the gcntlciiMui says be bai m^
friends wjitiiie for liim at the oii»er aide af 60
gnrdcu-will, thai will tlirow bint o«rr a lldda
made of ropes, which he got up by.

Ltan. Then, must I gp !
Leo. Yei ; good wr, yea.
Lean. A paruiij; kiss [

BiCKERSTArr.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

JUo. No; good nn no.
J>itii. It must be fto.

By tttis, aiiri t)ii»,

Here I couW for crer grrm :

Tb more ttmn luortnl bliss.
Xm). Well, now guiifl niglit;

Pray coitc our fnf^lit.

You're TCrr bold, sir !

X^ loose vmir hold, sir !

I think Tou want to Kare nw quUc.
J>4in. Oh Fonunc's ipighc !
Xco. Good night, good ni^ht

Hark ! the neighbouring conventV bell

Tolls, the TCS})rr hour to fell ;

The clock now cbimca;

A lliau.<taiul limen,

A thoukanii Uuies, farewell !

KnUr Don Diego.

Don Dirge. Sujr, sir; Ice nobodr go oat of the
room.

Urs. [Failing damn.'] Ah, ah ! k ghoat, a
ghost!

Don Diego. Woman, stand up!

Ur$i I won't, t won't: murder! don't touch
me.

Don Diego, Leonora, whec am I tu iliink of
this I

I^o. oil, dear sir, dun't kill me !

Don Diego. Young; man, who are you, who
liMve Urns c land est incly, ur an uiisousonabU' hour,
broke into my house ? Am I to consider you as
a robber, or Ijow f

Lftan. As one, wliom lore ha« mnd^ indis-
creet; one, whom lo%c taught iudtiKtry aiid art
to rompasf his de^jriis. I luve the beauljlul
Ixwioni, and she mt : but, farther llinn wlmi
vou hear nnd »ee, neither one nor the otUcr have
been culpable.

Jtfun^u. Hear him, hear him !

Lean. Uiid Di«'([(), you know my fnthcr well ;
Doa .\lpt)onM) dc i>una. 1 am a «c]iulur of ihib
BDirarnty, and am uillinc to submit to whatever

Cninhment he, through run r means, ibiilt inflict ;
t wrenk not your vcncnincc lierc.
Don Diego. Thus tf»cn, my hopes and cures
■re at once fmsimicd ! ToMesWid of what I
thought a jeM^cl, I uiu dcsiroofl to keep it for
myself; I raiwd up the walls of tins hoii^t to a
gremt hcijiht; 1 Wncd iip my windows towards
the Mrrct: I put doiiLic l>iili» on my doors; I
baiiHhed nil that had tin- shndow ol' iiinn, or
Toate kind ; ajid 1 stood couiinuolly ccniitiel o\cr
k mysdf, In j^uard my sukpidon iVom surprise :
■^ ChiM secured, 1 left my walch for one tittle nio-

Inrnt, and in th»t moment'
-:
«bc

J^-un. I*ray, prav, 'inarHiun, let me (ell you
Ae ktury. nnd you'll find 1 ton nut to bininc,

Don Diego. No, child, 1 only am tn blnmc,
vbo tbould have couaidcrcd, that kixteca nod

sixty acrce Ul tMeiber. Dut. thoo^ I wa» too
oUJ to be wise, I am not tou old tu learn ; and
wi, I say, wnd for a smith directly, bent all ilxi
grilles from my windows, lake the locks from
my doors, and Jet egress and regress be gitco
freely.

Ij(aa. And will you be my bu&bnnd, sit ?

Don Die^o. Xo, child, I wdl give you lu one
that will make you a better husband : here,
young man, take her. If your pnrcnts consent,
to-morrow jrhall »cc you joined in tJie face of tlte
church ; and the dowry, which I promised her,
in ca»c of failure on my &ide of the contract,
sliiilL now go with hor as a marringc-piirtion.

Ijcan. Sifpxiar, this is io generous-— ■

Don Diego. No thanks; perlinps I owe w>
knnwlfdi;ntents to vou : but yuu, Ursula, liavo
no excuse, no passtnn to picud, and your age
should have taught you better. I'll give you 5ve
hundred crowns, but never let me tee you more.

3/iin^ii. And what ymi give nic, inn^sn ?

DoH Difgo, bastinadoes for your drunkenness
and infidelity. Call in my neighbours and friends.
Oh, man ! man ! Iww short is \fmr foresight I Imw
iiicllectuni your prudence ! wliile the very nic^u*
you use arc destructive of your ends.

Co forge me fetters, tliat shall bind
lite rage of the tempest nous wind;
Sound with a ntedle full of thread,
Tlic depth of ocean's steepy bed ;
Snap, like a twig, tlie oak's tough tree;
Quench Kuia witli a cup of tea;
In these manwuvrcs sliew your skill,
Then hold a woman, if you will.

Un. Pennit me to put in a word :

My maiiter here is quite abwrd ;
That men sliould rule our sex, is meet,
But art, not force, must do the feat.
Hcmembcr what the fable says :
\VHere the sun's nnnn and melling nij$
Soon bring about what wind and rain.
With all mcir fuss, attempt in vain.

Mung. And, mann, be not angry, pray.
If negrr man n word sliould soy :
Me have a fabte pat as >he.
Which wid dis matter will esrce :
An owl nnce took it in his head,
Wid simic Yonn^ pretty bird to wed:
But when his worship came to won,
lie could get none hut de cuckoo.

Leon. Ye youth select, who wish to taste

Tlie jnvs nf wedlock pure and chiutiiE
NeVr let the mistiest and the friend,
la nbjcct slave and tyrant end.
White (urh willt tender |>aMion bum^
Akt-eud iho ihmnc of rule by turn*;
And place (to love, to virtue just)
Security in mutual tnist.

£04

BRITISH DRAMA.

[BiCKKUTAFF.

£eafi. To sum np all yoa now have heard.

Young men and old, peruse the bard;
A female trusted to your care,
His rale is pitbj, short, aod clear.

Be to her faults a little blind;'
Be to ber virtues very kind :
I^et all her ways be unconfined ;
And dap ^nr padlock on ber mind.

DR LAST IN HIS CHARIOT.

H IC K F. RS T.i F F and ¥00 TK.

■

Wl'r MEN.

AtLitoVLD^ ahcu^tfuHcy'tHQ lumuf/Ul.
On Lam.

FAlCNnr-Y. hrathir-in-iair tu AlLWOCLD.
llARunAVi:, attached tv Nash.
Wac, liii wrnjd/.

D!l.\MATtS PERSON*.

. r WOMEN.

Mrs AiLwoti p, nife lo Aii.woi'i.o.
N'aJIo, (tuufihttr to AiLWOVlu.
Poi I.V, hci ifOHHiier tUter.
Pnontvci:, HtuiJ to Xanci .
Phjfticiont, SjC.

Scene — ArtwovMi's hotue in London.

SCENE I.— 'A pttrUiur in AiLWOCto's h^utr.
With a tMt and chairs.

XMtrrPKVDXJtct, /oHonced 6y Wac.
. WciL, but Mrs Prudence, dou't be in a

Mr Wo^ I wilt be in u pnuion ; uiid iu
I cntHigh (a put nny one tn u passiurt tu Um-v to do
' SRrith 9iich indiB(-rtt!l people at your master. I
bftlitrvc be't out of h\% tenses for my part.

Wag. He's in love, Mrs Prudence, iind thot's
hftlf waY.

prti. So often US lie hu been Purhiri eitli«r to
emne or send after my iolstrcs^, to persist, in
•pile of ftll our otntions and interdiction

Wag, lie d'lri nnt conic or send, child.

Pm. No^Wliui do jrou do berc, cbeo, and
W hunged to you !

Wag. I only bring a letter.

JVm, Venr pretty jPsiiiiR, tnity ! I was nfmid
ihu sumeof the famdy would take notice of my
talking in you in tbc hall. But, in truth, here is
no place of safely lit iHc h'jy»p; for now I'le

V«.. IlL

brought you up licrc, rm afraid every moment
of mv mutcr's 9ur|trisin{^ u».

iVug. Docs the old gentlcnmu always keep
the bouse, tlwn } ,

Pm. Keep iho bouse ! — be generally keeps litt I
^inmbcr, and very oTien his bed. Vou must]
know hu'i unc o( those fulks that are always sick,
continunlly coiapluiuing, ever taking phvMc, and,
in rcahty, iiivcr ailim; any ibiog. Vm hii nurse,
with a |)lnguc to hiin ! and he wunics nic out of
my life. ,'

Wag. Would I were sick upon the sawe coo-
diiiona!

Pru. Come, come, uo foolini;. Vou said job
had a letter from your ma&ler to my young lady :
give it inc. and I'li deliver it lu Iicr.

It'ap, 'llicre iL is, my dear.

Pm. But am 1 not a very uaughty %vDnchi to
be acceaaary, in this maiuier, to a claodcsdue
corre^KHidence ?

IVo^. The billet is perfectly innocent, I can
assure you ; and such ai your lady will read with
pleasure.

Pru. Well, now, go away.

as

Wag. T won't, witliotit yoa give inc a kiss.

Pru. Poli^ viiu'rc a fuol.

Wafi. I won't, |w>x

Prn. 'riim Vim tiiuy »t:ty tlu't-c nil tii^iU

Wag. I^lrsTriic — CMiic.

Pr«. Nn^', it" its worth having, it» worth fetch-
iag.

Wag. Sav you so, niT girt — Thus, then, I ap-
pnrndi thov iihnmiins: li[n.

[Drtaring near her a-i/A ridiruhus ceremty
Tiy. A tn-U rinjii j-4oicnlly.\

Pru. Coiiioii'rti! nwuv, awny, R'Toy ! — ^be-
tpnCf as quick ai you can, or wc tire both niiit-
tid !

Wag, At I how! what the de\\\'» tltc mat-
ter?

PrUt My mnstcr'ft bell, my moslur's bell ! Ho
riiies ugaJii ! Duwn tht buck stain, :Li)d k-l yuur-
aetfaut nt tl)c sirc<-i-tJour. I ciui\ stay tu talk
to you anv loiigfrnpw— Aditu I

[Exit.

Wfig. [At Ac is going off".] Hey, what a riog-

iii^'n lifrcH one wuuld ilmik. Uic lu>Dtc wu on

fire. [Esit.

Atl.¥iav*ii eotarx Ihronfnh the Ituh'Sftnt in a
nigbt'fioiCH and ftiinnct-eap, Ais c.-ulch in one
handi and a tmall beU in lAr other.

AiL O lord, O lord, here** u»njfe for a poir,
lielpk'ss, Aick iiinii ! 'rhcrva nobaily in tlic- liuusv \
sure, tlitre cao be iioboiiy ; ificySenll iJcscrted
itK-, uiid Itft iiiL' nioiic to cipirt' wiilujut a^^ist-

tancc. 1 made shit't to muster up ^ul^u■Lic^t

strength tu rr:iw1 thus far; anil now, 1 can die
here, \lh-ops inio llie arm-<tiair ailA a pUrnut
grttan ; tfttri, after a thort fHiUiC^ star t in f^ and
n/uriwA'.] Mcrcv ou nic, what's thf nuittfr with
mc ! r iim tfudt(mlv scizod ^tiilt n ^hivcifnf; fit!
Ami now, 1 bum like a n>d-lH>t i*(kiI of lire! —
And now asain — shiver, »liivcr, blincr ! as ifioy
blood was t timed into Mioiv-watcr ! Pruilewce,
Nancr, Mrs Ailwon'd, tovc, wife I They're nil
deaf! ajid my Ik-II js uut loud enough neither !
Prudtiice, I >uy !

Rntcr PauoeifCE.

Pru. IIcrc,»r, here! WK:ii*s the matter?

AH. Ah, yoti jade, >oti slut !

Pru. ypretrnding to have hurt her head.] —
'ITjc dtiK-e taJiC your rmpaticnci^ I ynu hurry
I people w), y(»u linve made me break my liead a-
gnin^t tbc windowslinitLT.

At/. You bag};nge, you — ■ 'tis above an

hour-^

Pru. [Cryiifp.] Dctir me; ho*v it smarts !

At/. Abo^c an liour thai I liarc been wanting
4omelMxlv.

Pra. ()li» oh !

AiL llold your tongtie, liDuy, till 1 scold
jou!

Pru. ^*CTy pretty, in troth, after the Uo« I
have cot !

Aif, V<iu have left me to bawl and call, till 1
niu lioaxM: ;iK>itii.

>*ra. And you turn made mc ^ a piai
b<inip un my rurebead ; so pot one against the
other, ami »«f*rp ijnii.

Ail. ll'fw. Mr» Impudence?

Pru. If yim §cold. Til cr%.

AH. T" deMrrt me lu Micfi a mannticr !

Pnt. [I'rytnfi.) Ob, uh, nh !

Ail. Are jou at it a-nm ? Why .you pert, bn-
iCD, uudiioous, tirmnkm':^ nbominablc* ititolfM
— ^ban'l I Ic allitweu to bare the pleasure ot
tiiidiii-: I'uult with yoit *

Pru. Ynu may have that pleasure, if ;w
will; and it's as fiiir Ihnt I ahould bare At
plcniiure of crying, if I likt it.

Ail. Well, well, 1 ha«c done. Talse aaiJ
ihcsc tltins^ and get me m« inedtrtnr Ii'»

three li<)ur> and two mioulc« since I took u

aitft dt>it't yuu know the prt;scnptM>n tars «Hrf
lUn-i: bours? I fiicl ilie bad effect H* mj Ttmity—
alnndy.

fVw. Lnrd, sir, why will you dr«nii) yeiinrif
wiibauch luuty slup^? One would (ttiok Ihepli*-
sioQiiA and upotliccurie^ cuuld lind ^itfficuntdic
fur your 4. ravin:; bonds; but vou mux pilutk
'(Liacks, too: and ibis Doctor Last, with ha m-
vi-rsal, t4d^nnli^, rL'stnmttvc cordial* thai MM
Maler into n«scs niilk.

Ail. ThaiSa jjood nirl ! go on !

Prv. Mctliink-t, it one was to C^c fhjm,ftf
would rather choose tu go to a r«ular pl9*o*
thiui to a (innck.

AH. Atwl why so, my dainty iwlttMr'

Pru. For tbc- sami^ reawm,'tbBi, if I vasti^*
pair of sbors, 1 nould ratbi-r |;'j to an euMtii**
shi>e-makcr, tliaii lay out my ruoiicy al aToA-
shire wiireltnuse.

Ail. If I hear any more of yonr iuipwkaw.
I'll break your head to V)me iiurp<*9c: il ttaa^
be a bump in the forclirad will scrvr yvU'

Pru. Eh, you old faucilul, fi)»li&|>-

Ait. Go, and cull my duuchicr Nancy laK-
I have souielhnt^ to Miy tu her.
Pru. iilic's here, sir.

Enter N.\hcT.

Ail. Come here, NtUMry ; I trant la if<^

wiihyuD.

A'««. What's vour pleasure, Mr ?

All. ^tay; before I say or dn -t-u •!■'■• '■'^
ther, I'll go into ibe next rooni. bi

diciiie 1 ahsald be a Rrcat .

that.

Pru. Ay, sir, so yoti would. __

Ail. 1 should, indeed, fi.r it docs xue ■ ftiS-
giuus deal of good; though I must takt a tiBh
cuoHog physic, too^ in order to correct the jofn

liid.

FoOTE,]

4

BRITISH DRAMA.

I

Nnn. Pniilcncc.

Pm. Mmiaii) ?

Nan. IjooU. on me ■ little.

Pru. Wffll, I do look on yoa.

Nan. PrudtniT." !

Pru. Well, wtuit would ;ou liave with IVii-
cli-nce ?

San. Cai/t you picis?

Pru. Soni« iliscnursc, I suppose, about our
new ■cquointance, Mr Ilar^rnic; lor you lint (.
done nothing l>tit talk of him tor tlti» week
past.

Nan. Anti can you blame me for itic gooU
opinion I Imve of Kim t

Pru. Wlio says I do?

Aun. Or would you Imto me iitsciiiiMc to the
leader proifitatK>ns wliicti he tnnkcs loe ?

pru. Ilt-avcn fiirliid !

Non. IViilicf, tell nic now, Prmlcnne, don't
Tou reollv tlitnk tlwrc was vimcthins ul' dcMiiiy
m the odd ndtenturc, that brought us acquaint-
odr

Pru. Cenainly.

San. Wni there not something titicommnnly
brk*««)ii1 i(cn(leinnn-lik(' in thai nclioti of roacu-
■ng IDC, without kiiuwiii|r luiy tliiiii^ ul me f

Pru. V'err genteel lutd gciitlcmikn-like^ in-
deed !

Nan. Aod was U powiblc for any one to
BMke a more neoertMw uae of it t

Pru. Iroposnblc.

Nfin. Then. Pmr, he hai a moU clmmiin^
pcrsoa. Uuii't ynu think no?

Pm. Who can tliinic oihervittF

Nan. SnmplhinK very noble in his air?

Pru. Very ooble t

Nan. Then, he talks tike an nnfrel.

pru. Ay, and writes like iin angel, too, I dare
•wear, madam, an this letter will »hou-.

Nttn. From Mr UarRrnvc ! You wid(ed girl,
«b* would yvu keep tt froui nic so lung ?

[SnatrArM it from A<r, and rcadt if to
krrtet/.] "

Pru. Well, madam, what docs tlie gentlcuinn

«y'

Nan. Evcrv tlui*^. denr Prue; every thine in
the Wfirld. that 1 could wish or desire, lie says
be cnn't lire hnppy witliuut mo; and tliai lie
»dl, by ihc inciin^ of a tmnunun friniil, iiiiniftili-
acclff make n formal profioMd for mc to my fa-
ther.

Pru. Rut do you think, madam, llial yonr fa-
tbar willhitcn?

Nam. He can liarc no ohjcclioo, Prudence.

Pru. No, miidnm; but your muthi*r-in-law

ly, n-ho i[nvrrn» liim, and I mui »urc LH-ar% you

I Knod will. The l>c»t jnkf i^ slie tbiuL& &hc has
prhredlvd me into Iter iiitere»t<i r

Nan. llu^h, here's my father !

Enter Ailwooq.
|i7. Nanry, child, I have a piece nf ncnft to

ttjl you, that, perhaps, you little expect. Ilerc't
n match proposed to me for tou. You unite at
that! Ah, nulure, nature! by wlmt 1 pcrceitr,
then, I nrcct non o^kyou if you am nilUnp?

jVun. 1 nm rrady to nubmitui ynur rummnitdl
in every tlnt^, sir. Dear Prue, tliii is beyond'
iny hopes !

Pru. ihlr Ilargmvc has kept his word, ma*
dam.

Jit. What arc you whispering about?
Nun. Noiliine, ^ir.

AtL Well, child, at any tare. I an find to find
you in so complyini; a diiposiiion ; i'or, to tell ,
you the trulh, I wns resolved on llie ihin(: hefora
I mcntimic-d u to you. and luvl cien |;iveii m^ I
Mord to put it a» cx[>cditiou*ily a& )iu»»tblr into ex* ]
eiiilnrti. 1

Pru. I nm sure you are rcry inach in ihej
rii^ht of it, sir; 'ii'i tiK wiicst thing you c%'cr did
in your life.

Ai/, 1 have not seen llic gentleman yet, but I
am told he will be every way to the sailftfactiou
of u<i both.

Ann. Tliat, lir, t am ccrlaia of, for 1 have
seen him uln-ody.

Aii. Have you f

Nan. .Since your consent, sir, encoarafccs me
to dikcorer my mclinntion*, you must know, that
good fortune has lately hniiij^ht u« ucr)uaintrd ;
and that the proposal, which has been made to
yoo, is the c%ctofthat esteem, which, nt tha
first interview, wc runrfanrd for one atvtthcr.

Aii, Tbkit's mure than I kuew, liut >io matlcr;
the imuother things en on, the beitr r 1 am ptca-
at-'d — Hi- is hut a liitlr man I am tnld.

itfitn. He's wdl mitdc, sir.

AH. Aereeablc in his penoa?

AToa. Vvry osrceable.

Ail. In his atldreft<t ?

Nan. Perfectly elegant.

Ail. Ilcnlly that's much — Very murti, upon my
woni, that a man of low birth, and bred up to a
mean prufcisiou- — for, tliou^i tlw doctor has
now fifteen thousand pounds in ttic funds and
gets eij;lit or ninr huitdrcd n-yeor, he owca all
Co his mcdiciual secrets.

Nan. Sir!

Ail. At least so Mr Tnwh the botik-selter,
tJiat veiidk his mnjicine^ tells mc : throuah
ttIiom: medintinn, indited, iliiit proposal i» nuun.

Nan. Mr I'rash ! Has Mr Hargravc any thii^
to do, then

Aif. Ilar^ravc! Wlto the dcril't he? I am
talking of the pcrton you are to marrv, Dr ImH^
whose cordial has done me so much senicc. Ic
■teems he is a widower, aiMl lias u mind to get a
scf^nd wife, that may do him >')me credit; stidl
as his wnrldiv circumstances ioiitlc htm to.

Nan. WtlU but mv ilcar *ir

Ail. Yes, cbihi, [ know it's very well Tlio

Doctor is to be braucbt here to-dav tu be iotro>
duccd to mr, and I ant really concerned that I

BOB

BUmsH DRAMA.

[BichEBSTirp S

appointed Dr Coffin, Dr Slictcton, nnd Dr Rul-
niilderv. to bold n cousutti'.tion iiptm my cnsr
thii morning; tor. I Itavc lotmj >o inuuh Urnelil
from Dr last's medicine, tttat I ttiii>k Itc wilt be
the properrst pcnun to tind out what% tlic inul-
trr writji inC:.

Nan. Well, but, sir, s}ve tnc lewe to tell you,
riiat Dr I^ist wns very far from my iliou;^l)l%
%*h£ii nv tituiiii llii& c<>nvt;r»»ri(>ii. In Uiurt, pa-
pa, nil itiib while yvu Knvc been talking of one
person, aiid I of m*n(hcr.

Pru. Pills pull, tn.'winm, rnnkr voiir&eU' cttsy :
mv master cnn hiive no Micb ridu'uluua df^sicn a*-
he lia» been memioniuK to you — Marrv a ynitnc
lady nf family and furtune to a M.-oundrcl
quack !

-fit/. And what buwness Ikitc you to be med-
dling, inipiidi'iice!

i'rtf. No bilMDCfs at all, sir; but. il'ynn arc
TCnHy serious in your design «U>ut tliis iitnrnitue,
give mc Icuve to ask yoii, wlt;it can have put it
intu your he^id ?

jfif. You have uoihinj: lo Ho with ihnt 1

bnvc told the f;irl the party 1 propoic for her is
rich; but if you must know what mnst inclined,
Btid, indeed, drU-rninKd nic, as it wcrr, lo uc-
trpl «r Dr Lfisi lor u 9on-iit-law, is tiie number
uf invaluable secrcrs he possesses; and tins alli-
ance will mtitle nic tii lake his medicines gralifi,

u^ my various infirnijties niay require a diii^

thai nc ought all to consider, my last year's apo-
lhfcary*ft Mil nmountinc to ttro hundred and
ninrteen potInd^ four shillings nnd clnven-pence.

yru. A very prulty reason for tnarryinp yotir
dan^hler to a ciuack, indeed ! Hut, after all. sir,
tell me, upon TOur honour, tin\r, does any tbiitj;
ail you i

Ail. Kb ! how \ any thine oil me }

Prtt. Ay, sir, ate yoii ficfc in earnest? and, if
tu, what'a Uic nmlter with yon ?

AH. W* my misfoTUine not to know— Would
to Heaven I did !~nu[ (•} cut short all lhe»c im-
pertinenrcs, look you, (iaughttr, I lay my com-
utaiids Q(ion you to prepHn; your«rU' tu receive the
huybnnd I proni>Be fur yoa.

}^ru. And I. madam, rn mv part, oumniand
you to ha\e nuthing lu do wiili lum.

[Gotitg ulK

AH. Wliy, you impudent slut, bbnit a chamber'
moid take the Ubcrty

i*ru. She bhan't oiarrv the quacL

Ail. Shan't she? we'll sec ti>at, if I get near
eauugh tu lay my cane acn»s your shoulders.

[Rising in a fury.

Nnn. Dear wr— ^

Pru. Oh. didn't hinder him, mndam ; give bim
leave to amtv; he's wcluime to du his wottt.

AtL It* 1 lay huld uf you— ' -

[Follftring her.

Pni, I My 1 noo't let you do a fifuhsli tliim;,
if 1 CBD help it. [iielting behind a ckair.

.4t7. C'-otnc hither, cmnc hither. [S4ill/oUoit-
i»p her.] NaiiCT} stop her tliere ; duii'l lei brr
|)a5&.

Pm. I believe no father but yourself ewr
thoujiht of Mich a thin^.

AH. Help me tocairh lier, daughter, or FU se-
ver tiite vou my hlcssini:.

Pyu. S'evcr miiul him, madam.

All. An aududous, impudent, iuMiiciit

Pru. Ay, ay, you may abust inc. tf yoa pitwr:
but I noit't give my consent to the match for all
diat

^(7. Coelairice, jade, slut ![CAa<w£ Arrtvmid
IhettdgK.^Oli, ult, lean ■.uftportit uok>iifet;ik
bag killed, «lte ba^ tnurdctCd liie.

[ I'atU m/o Au riVf

Pru. Ynur huinhlc sci'vani, »«rf<rc i^r — ( tmc
auuy. madam. [Extuut I'av.uaiiSxi.

AH. i^\c! wile! Mm Ailwoti'd !

£nter Mrs Ailvtol-'d.

I

JHr> All. llnw now i

AH. Uli, lamb, Iamb ! cutue hitlkcr, if jF«a
uie !

Mn Ail. What's the uialier with raj
dear !

AH. Help me, liweelest !

Mrs AtL 1 will help tJtcc; wliat*s lie lO^
ter?

Ail. Lamb !

Mn Ait. Well, my heart !

AtL ITicy have been teasing and frtltiuf a»
here our of tbc small purtian of hfc and ipird I
have left.

Mn Ail. No. sweet, I fao|>e not! Wka Iw
angered ilite?

Ail. TtMt jade, I'nidcQce. Sic bf7o«ea«M
»ucyand impudrnt titan over \

Mri, Ail. DiMi't put yourself in a paaaoa ^
bor, my soul !

Ail. 1 don't believe I shall ever rcrottf a.

Mit Ail. Ycsyes,cniBp<>M? vourscif

Ail. She has been conlrndieting me — -

Mrt Ail. Dun'l mind her. ,

.^iV. Aud has had the iinpudeiKe lo tellai
Fm not sick ; when yuu know, nij b»lv b«* *
i» with me.

Jlfrs A%l. I know, my liean, very wdl, ywsi*
feeble and weak — Ilcuveii hctu iliee !

Ail. That jade will brin^ me to oiy pw
She is the raui»e of hnlf tha phlegm I brcrd:*'
I hn%-c dcbireil, a huudred and m hoiMlrtd ban
lliat you would turn her cilT.

Mrt AU. My child, there are no aervMO M
have their faults; and ne oiuM eadnn ihairW
(]uabtie8, that we mav have ilie use ol theirfi^
ones. HowcTcr, 1 will give Mr* Pnidtact*!
turc for lier impertinence, i assure you— V
there } Prudence, I say \

FOOTE.]

I

I

I

Eater PmmtvcE.

Prtf. Dtd yoa caU me, madum i

3frj AiL Comt' hiihcr, miscreu — Wluit is the
mtmnini^ that you tVet mnd thwart voiir master,
itad put him into [Hi.i«ii>tt5?

Ptu, Who, I, uiadaiD ! Bless my muI, I don't
knnw whnt ynu mrnn ! I'm »urc my :>tiidy, mnni-
iiig. noon, und ni(;ht, it ho» to please nod obey
hio*.

Ait. Don't believe her, my denr : she'd a har ;
she neither plctucs nor ohcys me, und ban bchu-
ted in the tiioit invitcot nmniicr.

Mrt Ati. Well, my anul, I'm sure whnt you
Miy i« ri^t ; but ctiinpo^c yu(ii*M!ir. I/H>k y»u,
Prudcnct^, il"evcryau provoke vour muster iinuin,
lit turn von O'it of aoor». Here, pvc mt- hia

riiHowB, unci help rae to M:ttie him in hi^t chnir —
te ftiu I know not bow — I'nII your jitulit-Caji
uver yuur ears, my dear There's nuthii)^ jpvcs
people cold m mudi as letting wind in at their

I

AH. Ah ! my love, I shall neircr he able to re-
pAjr nil the aire you tnlte of me.

Mr* Ail. Haise yourself a tlitlo, that I may
put lliit under you — this Lchind your back — :uid
this \>t lean your ticad upon.

Pru. And ihi-i to co%-cr your braim.

I Ciapt a fiUoit radefy in hit head.

AU. Vou cufMi'd jade ! du you want tu stille

\Gtt% up in a paaian, throws the pi/loat at

hrr, and drivft hrr wtt.\

MrtAit. Hold, h'dd ! wliai ihd »Ik do to your

Aii, Do to me ! the wrpcni ! She'll be Ute

ileatJi ot" nut, if you continue lo keep lu>r in tliie

boose.

Mr-t AiL Well, bnt, jewel, you are too apt to
flurry Tiiiirself.

Ail. My sweet, you an* tlie only eoinfort I
tmve ; and, in ordfr tu rcf|uito your tenderness
iii the bc>t muinrr I am able, I hnre molvcd,
as 1 liave told you. to makt: my ^«ill.

Mra All. .An ! dmi't tnik to uic in that man-
uer! don't, Mr Ail»ould, I beseech yon, unless
j»oa liave a mind tu break my heart !

^U. .\la^ ! niv Icve, nr arc nil inurtnl ; but
«^n't crv, Hiddv, for vnn'll make me weep, too.
Mlrt AiL Oli : oh ! oil ;

^iL Nay, dpare^l

JMrM Ail. Yoo fcaid something of jwvr will,
dJd'itt ynu f

AiL I desired you would speak to your attm'-
ocy abcmt it.

JUrf AiL ^'es ; but I cannot spenk to him
■^lOUt aov such thing ; it would cut me to the
laeari.

Ail. It muftt be done, Biddy.
Mr% AiL No. no, no. However, t have de-
■red him tn come hither to-dny, ami you mny
Xa him about it your^lf.

AiL I noold fnin be informed in wlutt man-
ner 1 may cut off my children, nnd leave all to
you,

Mrt Aii Alas ! my dear, if you should be ta-
ken away, I'll stay no lonc^r in the wurld.

AU. My only conccni, when I die. Mill b«,
chni t never bud a cluld by you ; nnd Dr lluU
ruddcry, the Irish physiciao, protuiscd mc I Uiould
have twins.

ilfri Ail. Rut do ytm think, my dear, tliai yoa
will he nble to cut off your two daughters, and
leave me all ?

Ail. If not my landed estut?, at any rate I can
leave you my rc:idy money; and, by way of pre-
caution, I uill make over lo you immediately
four thousand pounds, which I have in the three
per cents ana bonds Inr near the same sum,
\\birh 1 lent to :iir Timothy Whisky.

Mrt AU. 1 will hare mtihiii:; tu do with them
indeird, Mr AkltvoulJ; you shnn'l put them into
my linnda, I awure you ; all the riches in tltc
world will be nothing to me, if I lose you. — lloir
miirh do yim say you liavu in the throe per
rents ?

AU. Four thftusaod p^undx, my lore.

jifrf Ail. To talk to me of money, when I am
deprived of tl»e only person, with wbum I could
enjoy it !— And how much more in bonds?

AiL About the same sum, sweet — but don't
take on so, Diddy; pmy now don't; you'U tliruw
Tountclf into some dhiess; and to have us botU
stck

fM/crPRCDEXCI.

Prii. Sir, there are the three doctors below, io
thf^ parlour, that were tu call upon yoa this morn-
ing.

AU. Ay, ihey are oouie to consult npon my
riua- I'm sorry I spoke lo them ; but it*« tn«
late now.

Fru. AntI there's another |;entlemaa at tlw.
door, in n ch.-»r»ot, with Mr Trash die bookfeller,
who desired uie to tell you he had broui;tit Dr
Last

AiL I Iiopc the genileroca in the parlour did
not see him !

Pru. No, sir; no.

AiL Very well, then shew the physicims up.
Do you, my love, pco and entertain Dr LaH till I
can come tu ynu. 1 will iltspairh LlirM_' as soon
ns 1 can ; but one must keep up the form* of c;^
rility. [iai/ Mn* Ailwollb,

Euter Db CorriK, Dn Skf.lfton, Da Btiii
arrnDKRT.

Cof\ Mr Ailwonld, your scivanL I hata
obeyed your commands, you see ; nnd am comCf
witli my brothers Skeleton ami Hnlniddery, t*
hav« a cunsoltnlion upon your case. — IJuw do yoa
<ind yountclf tliis niorning }

6X0

BRITISH DRAxMA.

[BlCKEBBTArr if

Ait. Prny, gFiillom?!!, be seated — Why, really,
doctor, I fin«l n)\sc'lf but vi-ry inJifTercnc

Skt. llotv du you alee|i, sir^

AiL Very indilferenlly, rfoctur; diiefly brokeii
alunibL-r%.

Bui. And pray, bow is yniir npiioiiic?

Ail. Tittlit^mtt, very iniJiftprent, inilpfd. I
\ liAve uimdc sliitl tn got dnwii n couple of <lishr<t
of clinroliite this inoriiiiii: in bed ; nbuuL two
botirn milfr, \ bail »oroc tea nnd fnn«.t witb inv
tvil'c ; JU8C IKIM-, I ^unllowfd, wiili mucii difticully,
a basj)!! of boup : mid I l>cl)cvc I shall liardly
iHkc any thing more till ditiDcr.

Ske, Utit. Air Ailwould, wlmt arc your cUief
cotnpluiiitx?

Att. Ki?ally, doctor, I iini nfitild my diwinlcr »
n minplicaiioii. Sunctujics 1 tliiiik it is the
gout, MXiiditnt't ttx' rlicuntntiMii, aoi(K'tiiiiL'<> llic
dropsy, and sometimes 1 t'ccl mv««ir in n liif-ti
fever: htiwrvLT, gi'iulcmt'ii, l>r<>>tHii Itcro liii*
bi-ci) lung ]ity good t'riciid nnd |iliysif'tiin : nnd,
by the help of the idirJlitfencc )t(f ran ^i\a ytit
about my rnnKiitiitliu), your art nnd rxpf-ricncc
msiy pcrb:in>> unable you in 5nd out what'«t ihc
matter with dil* : to 1 ti^ivc v>u to your cuiimiI-
tntioi). Cirntlenicn. your scrviuit. [Aii.woui.i>,
Jt€ing the dorlitrt un he gm-t out, dropt m guinea.^
Stay, doctor, I'll ta'tc it up for you.

Ske, Sir, I ibniilc you ; but 1 think then- wtu
another drojft.

ML No, there wnsii'l.

Ske. Wliv, I hine but two.

Ail. But two! Oh! oh!

[Oires hint uniytfier. Rxit.

DnCoFt'iK, DaSkni.i:To\,.iiirf Da 1\vl-

Rt'DDErtY, Ifrit thcmtelvft with gnat

rfrrmoin/ ; (km, ttjier a tkort tilrnce —

Skr. Brother t'offiii, ftlmll I irouhle you for n
piut-'h of ytMir — [Taktitg ttivff'.\ Hnvniinah, I
•M.

Cof'. Brought mc frotn thence by a captain,
wbomsi^ed in mking the plncr.

Ske. [^ntfzrf.] Htivilisli stroiii;!

BuL I hare ufttin, Dr Skeleton, had it in my
litnd lo ask Mime of llif faruliy, what can Ijp the
reason, tlmf. when a man happens to flirczc, nil
tlie company bows.

Ski: Snet^fiiif;, Dr Itnlruddery. wn» a m'>rtal
symptom, that attended a |t€fitilcntia[ diMMtM-.
which formerly depopulated the ivpublic of
Attiviis: ever ninrc, wh<'n that conculsion ocnirs
a »hurt ejaculation » olTered iipi, tliat ilic iiu'eM!*
IJagcir fetcrnutiu^ fiarty okay not be odlicted with
~'w unir distemper.

huf. Upon my conactciire, a very Ipanicd pc-
cointt ! Ay, nud a rery civil institution, too. I
cnn'l help thiuliiri^, rluctor, but the ttenttemca of
our pntfcbuon mnst thrive much better in them
there forntn pnrw ihnn ai borne : Now, becnusc
why, one liean of pln^ucs and pestilences, and
•ach like kind of disorders, that attncli n whole
nation ut once Now, liere, you know, «re an-

ohlipcd to pick up patients unc by one, juit ua
Ixjdy can ijet tiiLiu.

Cot'. Ay, doctor ; and, «iooe the threat iocrtaie
of this town, ttie sici lie so «e»tit-red, that oac
pair of horses are M-nrrc auflicient for a phyninii
hut in niodeniie practice.

Skr. True ; «hy, there was yp9terdav, the fint
pulM! I felt bt-lonjted to a lad tvith the nieatln
lu Dean's yard, We&tinitMlcr : frutn thence 1 ki
out between bcven and eight, tny wig fresli ftm-
deied, and my horses in ^pinti!. ; I turixd ai I'lto-
nnecross for the New BuiMincA ; then rauihrm^
the llolbiirn division, cross«Kl live l-'leet-trufbi
iiiid pcneinilc«l into (he citv tn far as Whii
pel; then made asliurt trip lo t)>c wife of 4

I nan, V* ho luid the gout inherMoamch. atWa^i^

fruui thrnc" leiurneil lhnt0!!h <_'ornhill. Tcinplr-
Ilar, and tla: Strand, and fiiii^lu'd tny '
vnptioii, between live and aia, fiw a ti
lo (,'orkspor street, who had barsi a vei
iooHi^ at the Brerttfiiiil election.

hhi. Upon my cfmscience, a loae toar!

Ske. I>iiig ! Why, upon the nioit mi
calculation, 1 could not, bcf^ire I sat dow
:H>up, have run up lesa than thirty pair of ilatn;
and my hordes must have tn>ttt.-d, inkm^ m mm*
Httvets and Dintiiqns »t least ct);litccti miln mA
llirpc qijiirlenk

liul. Without douhL liui yrm n-as talknp t^
Itrrnirord. Don't you Im^k u|nmi a oairttfnd
electii.wi at oji'huI tiling to tlw faculty, rfoetw/

Ske. If you mean lu us of the cnllff«r. 11^
Bulruddcry, little or nothing: if, indeed^ <hiit
itliuiild happen to \w. warm wurl: nC the husliiO,
the (HiriKinitioii of sur>>enns iiiav fitck up «0i
practice ; thouch 1 don't look upiiiu anv t>i ikw
public inuuactions as nf any great li-e ta fl«
iiody in ceitcral. Lord uiayor'^ dftv, iodeai^^
Its merit.

CvK Yes; ihnt lurns lo account.

Ske. Dr Dosrnm and I were tnaLin^ lW»»
roormne at B:t(?»)n'>, a »hort cnlculatioii i>l *bl
vahie that fe9ti%-al uiif|;hl be lo tbc whole |*<nwil
trihe.

bhL U it a aecnc to wbu von tmh <
amount ?

Ske. Why, what with colda cauphi on lke<»
ler before dinner, repletion and indwntiiv C
dinner, inebrictv after dinner 'not to mcatim 6a
bull in the eiening). wc matte thatdatsa^**
con5Pf|iience!" — for, you know, there are Aftf «■■■
daiions laid for future disorders, e>peciiUy i> '
turns out ao cnsierly wind

huL Does that make any diffiereacc?

Ske. Infinite ; for when they cocnr m* a( *»
hatl, in a Hue perspimtioa. from tlar Iwactf'i^
room and exerdse, should ihr wind mi«> t^
in crossing Caicaton street, it's nure lo 1*7 W*
of tJ>rni in turouic the curner hitu I'liiiwfc

Cof. Without doubt.

Ske. We eftiiniatiHl the whole pfoftt a» i^
sickusj surgeons, ajiuUiecarics, chcaut% *▼

POOTK.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

611

I
I

I

Kutit and nursrs at eleven ilKiusand, sii hunHrcd,
scvrntv-llirrc pounds fuurtccn sliilUngs, nnd
thncpcncc ttircc-fartlibr^!^

Rnter Ailwocld.

Ait. (■cntlftneii, I bcjt pardon for this inter-
raptiiHi ; liut you liave been comulting upon my
cue, uitd I tmic some |jiuiiciiUr renituns tor co-
mini; thus suddcnlv, to d«^irc to kiiuw what opi-
oJoa you Imvc yet Wen nlilc to fonn i

Cof. [7'o SkCLUTOs.] L'miif, wr,

Ske. No, sir ; pray do you speak.

Cot', Hcfurc my Knior ! pmy, excuse mr,

Skt. yt\i Ui i.Rt.iiDERV.] Dtirtor

hul. Tilt devd bum luystlf if 1 do \

Ait. Nay, pniy, ){ctitlt'iiifii» leave tlicsc cerc-
mnnicA ; utid, if yiHj Imvc l>mi iiltU- lu form aiiy
opinion, iiutrnct nio.

Cof. Why, really, sir, to tt-ll ytiu the troth —
Brotlter Skvlct'm

Ske. Wc have not yet, with all the ob»cr»'n-
tioiw wc have been nlilc to make Mpnii voiir cn»c
•ad coinpjiiintfe — t auy, *tr — and, itftrr thr itKwt
abstruse di^quiMliuns. nu Imvc nut us yet hci-n
nblc- to form nny opinion at nil.

AU, Well, this !>• all 1 want to be nciuaintrd
mitli ; beaiiiMr, if you huvc luil ht-in ;ihh: In form
anyr opinion, I huve been happy t:uLiu^h Lo uu-Lt
with a phyMaaii that Xisa, — Pray, sir, do Die the
ruvinir to Mulk rii Iwre.

Sntcr Da Last, having tcith great tteU to Da

and AiLHui'Lu.

Ail. Tbtfi, ^vutlciiicn, i<i Dr Lo&t ; nnd he as-
sure* toe, tiiat my disorder i& n confirmed jnun-

UoetoTM. A jaundice !— ha, hn, ha !
])r hut. What do you j;rin hI? I says be hn*
the jnudcns and Dl upliold it. I'll lay you fifty
pcMiiid* he hii'i the jni>der», and the gentleman
^bail hold thi- stitkcit hiiu&elf.

Cof. WeU, hut Mr AilwDuId. this is altofjicthcr
ridiculous. Did you evrr ecr u inati of your co-
laaf with the jaundice?

jfil. Why, tlwi'* trye ; I'J'urniHg to I^st.]
vm^ une tells mt', thiu I have a florid coin-
KiJcnLJon ; now llio jnundice givc9 n yellow hite :
\Vill you be so i^ootl ns to eiplftin that?

Ur halt. Well, «u I oin, but not for the doc-
COra. If 1 does it, it's all cnlirely to ubligH you.

SMc. We slmll hear bow the impudeut rascal
y/tiW brine hiiiifclf orf.

ttr I^it. lliurc are two sorts of jatidcni; the

iUr, aiid ihe trey.

^ti/. The hitick, I bcliet'C you mcno, honey }

jyr I ml. \u, I don*t,

C^^'. liut y<tu iiiusi, sir; tbvr« is uu such thing

Ovo grej jaundice

I

Ske. Uhl gcntlrinctu tlie doctor tnnan the
iroii*Krey, nnd llint't tdmnst black, yoit ktuiw.

J)r Lmt. They only tiw< ihi^ to put tne oa
now, brcMUM> I'm no colle^ion.

Alt. Well, pmy ducttir, gt» ou with jroor ex-
pliination.

Dr Ijtit. Well, I «ay« Uu-n — [To All.woi'i.n,
uholurni al<oHtJor ioMeth%»x.\Y won't ulk. with-
out you nntidii — the ytillar junders, I say, i» —
the yiiUiir jniiil«r» is, as if Mr he

iUif. Why. you were talking of the grey jaun-
dice this moment.

Hr I^ait. Nrs I wa»'nt; t did'nc mv a word of
till- gray jniidcTk— did I, Mr Ailwtndd? — It'* iIm
yatlur jniideni. — t klMw A well enough wluit I'm
nixiul, if you'll let me alone.

{.'of. Well, wliHt of the yallar jaurfcr*?

iV ImU. Why, I won't tell you 1 won't

say n word more now ; if tou thinks tn profit,
you're mistaken ; you nlian't leani nothing fron
oic.

Vof. You're ft bloody impudent fellow !

Dr JMtt. I does my curen no purchase no pay;
imd whif^'h of y<»u nin tay that f \'Vumtn/; fi«
j\ I Lwou itJ. J Many a one of them comes to ax luy
ndvicc and aHisiancc, when they don't know what
to do thrmsetvcs,

Cnf. C'niiie, come, friend, we know you.

Dr Iditt. Well, ami I knows you— Pray, Dr
Cothn, did'nt yuu attend one "Sits Greaves a tal-
(oM-chai>dl(.'r*« widow, tliut lodged at the pork-
sliup in Fcltcr-lnnef and did'ni site scud for lue
after you ^are her over }

Cof. Yes ; and sJie died in two duyn.

lir JmH. Well, so »l* did ; — hut that wai no
fauit of mine; bhc should have sent for mc lirsc.
WtiHt could I do fur her, after you had killed th«
poor denr <ioul ?

Cof. fiut, Mr Ailwoold. we arc come here to
coubult upon your case ; and if you permit us,
we urc willitiic

AH. O! notbin)[ I desire so much; and, to a»-
91 St you. I'll leave thid ^entlemmi ; he may givo
you further reasons for wliat he advances.

Skr. What, sir! do you think well cootult
with a qunck ?

Hul. Ay ! do rau thidt we'll be aAer consult-
ing with a quai^kr

Dr Latt. I'm no r\anck. — I hare been re|tu-
brly siibmiUml ; and 111 persecute you for your
wonJs in We^tiuinster-lusll.

C-^f. Mr Ailwould, we arc yo>ir bumhle wi^
roots.

Alt. Well, but, grntlemea, your fees; youll
return them, I Inipc ?

C«f. Return our fees, sir !

BuL lUturn our fees ! Amh, is the nun
mad?

Ske. Sir, it is a ^ing entirely out of the
coune of practice. We with you a good mor-
ning.
[CoF. DcL. and SM.L. go out ttUk great fonmlily.

Aia

BniTISH DRAMA.

[BlCKBKSTAFT *

Ail. Vlhj tlicn, gentlc-mcn, your aetrant, aud
f;ood munuDg to you. Let tfiem go ; I'm glad
we Iiavc got rid of tiiein at any rate.

Dr Ltut. Here, you Coffin

jtil. Pray let tlietn alone tiow.

Dr Ijat. i would send hiui a chnlletiifc, if I
was nut afraid of boiiu: cominittcil.

Ail. A chulleniic ! Why, did you ever tisht?

Dr Laxt. Ycb; I had like u> be killed iwo or
three times; but I lu'ier was.

Ail. It n-as very well for me, t'ni sure.

Dr Last. You intiat tliiiik tlicy all hates me,
because I out-dues them in curing; and they ure
osteiitious in their uwn wav, aud won't be learn-
ed.

Ail. And so, doctor, you are really of opinion,
Uint I have a disposition to the jaundice ?

Dr Last. Yes, you have ; and it's one uf the
nx and twenty disorders specilied in my adrov
tisemeut; and I challenge alt England to do
the like, to cure sii and twenty disorders with
one medicine, without conlineuient, or hindenince
of business, or knowled<re of a bedfetluw. Vou
understand me? for thiit's in it tun, if you have
any remains lurking in your blood from bad
treatment.

Ail. No, nn ; Heaven be thanked ! I never had
any such thing in my life.

7>r Laat. So mucii the better for you; but if
you had, 1 could soon set you to rights ng^in.
— Why, there was three aBidiivys in the paper
last WedneMJay, acknowledging benefits received
from nic; one from a journeyman tailor, bed-rid
with the rheumatiss; another from a lincknry-
coach>man that had been three times tapped for
the dropsy, and one from a child'i mother that
I cured of the dry gripes.

Ail. Well, doctor, if joa wtU now come ioio
the uext room, 1 will introdiioe }rou to my dao^
ter.

Dr Latt. What! in this trim? X wuold not
for fifty guineas; besides I ain gpiag lo see k
gentlewoman, that I've got in haDd for aa impor
tor;— but, I'll tell you whu 111 do — 111 iketf
myself, and come to you in tbe ev«Dii^

Ail. Well, do so, then, if it bemwe coDvcaimt
I to you. — But 9tar, doctor, your paper of dirct>
J tious orders raur medtcitw tt* be lakes ody
every three liours ; now, as 1 hare miie wgm
time on my handis suf^KMe I wa» to take, h the
intervals, n mug or two uf the d<^ and dock ca-
ter, tir Isliugtoo Spa, or Bagnige WeUs, by war
uf diluting?

Dr Last. Vou most'nt take nothing kj way of
dissolution, but a few broth made with veroui'i
jelly.

Ail. Have you any olijection, then, to -aj
going to Chelsea, to be fumigated at Dows-
cetti's?

Dr Lait. Domini derirs ! don't i>r» new hio.
Is it to be sweated yoa wants * If Uwt be ill, 1
can sweat you myself. Do ]paa diase to be
sweated ?

Aii. Why, if I tlmught it would do rae to*
gocxl

Dr iMtt. Well, ril Gonnder of it ;— but it*
member, Mr .^ilwould, I hare takeu yoo in hud
now, and if y»u go to be pui;^ or puked, or
buy a sup of physic from any one elie — batIsBp>
pose yuu knows better what beloiitt to tbe cl»
rakter of a gentleman. [£kis'.

ACT n.

SCENE I — Another room in Ailwould's Aouse.

Enter VnvD^KCZf followed bj/ Hasorave.

Pni. CouE, sir, follow me; I'll venture to
bring you in, since you've ventured to knock at
the door.

Hot. But tell me, ray best girl, cannot you
contrive to make me happy in tlw sight of your
charming mistress ?

Fnt. No, Mr Hargrave, I cannot, indeed ! you
have been told au a thousand times already : I
sent you word so by your servant tliis morning,
but vou wont he satisfied ; and, as if you had
not Keen imprudent enough already, you are now
come here in person to put the finishing stroke
to our ruin.

Har. No, my g(K>d Prue, I was aware of that,
and am not come here in my own clinmctcr, but
as a friend of your young lady's Italian master,

who has ^ven me leare to say be has sent w ■■
his place.

Pru. That's more forecast than I thoogbt jv
capable of. Out why have you been so H^
gent i did not you tell my mistress, that foi
would make a formal proposal to her father F

Har. True — Nor is it mv fault that it Iw M
been done ; I spoke to JJr Friendly, 3Ur .*fr
Mould's bruther-in-law, who aiiimred me bewDtU
make it his business to come here thb dv tai
that purpose.

Pru. Ay ; but thin day is too late^ it ibaaU
have been duae yesterday : for now her fsdff
is going to man^ her to another person— a med
quack — Though, I think, if we conid set mrB*^
ter against him, which would be do TCiy b''
matter

Har. As how?

Pru. 1 don't know any method so sore S W

the help of another quack ; for he falls ia 1^

with evcrv new medicine he bears ofi

3

FOOTE .]

BRITISH DRAMA.

5V5

Har. Snjr joa so * Gad 1 liare n ^oo4l comical
felluni fur my wrviint, aiid llwrc is a UiongUt
curoe into nit tie;uJ

Pru, lluali ! ticrc's rav nui»tcr; Mcp into tlie
n«U room a little, wtiilu 1 pre^nrc hiin for jrour
recepijoo. [ExU lUn.

fn/CT* AlIATOL'LO.

^iX Dr Liis.1 Hiredcd mr, duriiiR the ojicra-
tion of his niHicmc, to laliL- (ci\ nr twelve t.irn*
nbotit the nvtin ; bat I (or£»t lu iivt; lum who-
ilitT it'woulil bu luml rfliciirioiM. t'lc long ivny,
Of ihc broad— I «Uh 1 Imd a*l«i him tirat.

Pru. ^'tr, hcTf \t n

JtL S{>ciil( low. huft»y ; ymi are cnoiicfi to
Jiock my bmtttt— You don'i'coiiN'Ici, ilttit it t-*
ucit fit lo bawl in rite «ftr» uf wct^ iKn|itr !

Aif. Speak !*•*», 1 wy,

/Vii. sir [.NuMAuto/iia- at so/ <it *e A/urt^,

Jit. Eh !

/'m, I ttu going to ttll you

[ Very laa.
AiU %Vltml ii it von sav f
Pru. [f'rrv /nw.t] I »jiy, IwreVainan withiiut
«*M)ti lo Speak vwh ywi'

Ait. Wtll, vdii devil ! Irt tiim winc io.
Pru, \A» buui lu the can /«*«■/.] C'utiiC tUt «r.
W*i Oil ! uijr bciid, iti)r bead !

£nfcr Hahciiavc.

liar, Mr Ailwould-

iVn. Don't Kpeik m loud, fur fenr of shocking
my niit9rer'» brnins.

Har. I am vcr^ );)ad tn find yHi out of bed,
and t'» wc that voo jirow bctier.

Pru. Wlwtdoyuu menu by cn>wiiig better?
[ — U'» false, iny funster'* alwi«y> very ill.

Htir. I don'l kjmw how tlint iimy lie — hut I
n-Di told lie was belter; uid I Uuak he looks
prettj nell.

Pru. P(di ! ynu'rc bliiKl, he to«k» a* bad n«
pomble ; nwl Ihcv nre inipert inuit |ico{ilc, that
Wf \tp incndu: lie ^rnws worf^^nd nor^e.
AiL She's, in (be neht of it.
pTH. Ilr walk^, enii, niid dhuts like other
I men; but llmt*»n<f tmisuu why he *)t>iuld out be
ill a hnd Mule of heaiih.
AH. 'Vii very true.

Uar. I can only ?ay thro, Mr. ihit I am cx-
I tretnely wrry r»»r your iniUspuMlioti; nnd hope
you will vK»n get iImj better iiI* it.

A\t. Awl nnvt ruiiiplimcnt^ aw past.sir — I'my
mny 1 lake the liberty to desire to know whoyno
fr»re?

flar. 6ir, I come here mi the part of MiJ*

r Ailwoalif^ ItaltaT) mn^ter, who n gone for wimc

liiDc inio the coiinlry, iin^i vi«J» me, bcin<; his

I intrtD-ite t'nend, to omrimic her Icituns; le^t, hy

Vol. ill.

intorrupiing them, s)ie should forget what ilte bos
olreiidy learned.

AU. \'cry well; call >»ancy.

Pru. I beliere, sir, it will Ik better to Cake Che
gentleman into her chamber.

AU. No, let her oMue here.

Pru. lie cnn't f^vc her her Icmod » mrcll, if
he is ucii alone with her.

Ail. I warrant vmi.

Ptu. BcsidcK, It nill only d'Kurb yon in tha '
conihtion you are in, to Itare people talkmg in
the room.

Ait. Leave Uiat id me — Wbcro is my ddngh*'-
tcrf — Rot yoii, pet out of my tight, nnd let ma'-
know ivhcn Ur Lit»t comes I {Exit Vx^iz,

Enter Nakct.

NnnCT, my ilear, your Itahan master U gone inta|J
the e>Mintry, and tins »ent a ^itleman toteadtr
yon in his rmnn,

A'mm. Oh, iHiivcns !

Atf. WlintS the matter? Why Uiis nitoninh
rneiH ?

A'w. BecauM, pnpn

AU. ikcnuw wiml ?■

JV<i«. Lord, sir ! tlie most Mrpfising thing hap-
pens ht-re !

Ait. So it sec(D«, indeed.

Nan. 1 dreamt last night, papa, tluit I wa« in'l
K crowd cominx out of a pUy-liouse, where a i
rude fellow aitrniptcd to I.tT hold of mc; w lien J
A gemleman, cxanly like i\m, came to my a«i«- j
mice, nihl rescued mc from the rutfiMn'a Ir.imUv^
Mui I iitn Mirpnied, pnp:ii lo see tK'fiire ttie tlifi
vti'v iame (i(;r*nn I i':iiicn-d in my dteam—

All. Pill vuii ever hi'or *>urh an idiot «« it U'

H'tr. I count my»elf extremely fortinmtc, nin—
dam, to h;ive (''iiployo.l \our thoughts cither
alcciiinic or wnkin^; and slioulU esteem mysclfj
paniculftrlv hnppy to rciio'c you from any ilis-l
irc3«, which nccidcnt in^lit throw ytnt into: for* i
I ns»'irc yon, uuidain — ^

Alt. Why now, sir, you arc raiher more fool-
ish than »be — But, pmy, hnve done with rourj
nonvB», botli the one and tlic ottier: and you.^
lir, if you picaw, gire the ijirl her lewon.

llur. You kii'iw, mn'ani, a ;;rcat man form^-
ty Ktid, tftat i^hc^|lokc M llic gods he n'i>uld
speak hpani^li; to mcti, Ft-cnih; but wuman, *
ItaVmn, as the priii»cn->t liin-u.n-c Tor love.

-■I4/. A strange niiiiidnbimt *ny of hcgimiing!

Hnr, If lie wti't to speftk to lii* ImrK, indeed,
he stud, lie would 4|Miik high Dutch; tia, fur ex*
ample, Dos dick ikr ilunder 4chalr}.

AU. So, \ou won'i luive done fooling?

Iliir. pray, vir, give me icnrc ; every mancr ■
tuu his method — No doubt, madam, you hava
\tera informrd, thiit Hic adjiTtive nm^t a»rrH«*l
with Ihe 9iibstiinttre ; xn i!l\ia — Nanettii bellM,
bcaiiiiful Xaocj, [Siiflljf to Aer,] that i% you, iny

.1 r

514

British drama.

CBicKESiTArr ^

clmriDer — Amante 6delc, Faithful lover — [S^ify
to her-l that's me, my ctiarmcr, who doats upon
yuu more chan life. [Ailwould coming cloie to
listen, liAnoRAVE ratset his voixe^ Now these,
ma'am, must agree in gender, number, and case.

AiL Ay^ that's right enough ; I retneunbcr that,
when I was learning grammar myself.

Kar. Come, madam, we'll take a verb attivc,
and begin, if you please, with Amo, to love-- —
Have you any objection to that ?

Nan. By no means, sdr.

liar. Inen, pray give a little attention, and
comugate after me, that you may catch the accent
— lo omu, I love.

JVan. lo amo, I love.

Har. O fy ! that's nut a proper tone — Youll
pardon me for reprimanding miss before you.

You must pronounce the words with more

tenderness, ma'am : take notice of me — lo amo, I
love.

Nan. [Vtry tendcrlj/^ to atiio, I love.

Ail. I wont have bcr pronounce it any more ;
I don't know what words you'll have the impu-
dence to teach her pruscnlly !

Enter Pridence.

P™. Sir !

Ail, What now r

J'ru. Might I speak with you, sir?

Ail. Spcu with nic !

Pru, If it won't disturb you, sir.

Ail, A curse light on you ! What is it you
want }

Pru. To tell you somethings siry if you won't
Hy in a passion.

Ail. Well, tell it.

Pru. Lord, sir ! one does not know how to face
you ; you reaJly frighten roe out of my wits.

AiL She «on't speak now !

Pm. Yes, sir, 1 — will speak. [Altering her
tone^ There's Dr Laiit below, as fine as a moun-
tebank.

AiL Daughter, go into your chamber; and I
must In-g of you, sir, to take your leave; and

fjray Itt your friend know, that neither ho, nor
lis substitute, need continue tlieir visits for the
future. [Exit Nancy.

Uar. [Atidc\ Well, my good old gentleman,
vnu aliall hear from mo again sooner than you
imagine; fof-, since the way has been pointed
out to mo, I will make a bold push to drive this
quack out of the liuusc. [JExiV.

Enter Doctor Last, drett in a tawdry manner^
J'ulloued by a black boy.

Dr iMst. An impudent rascal has thrown a
dead rat intci my chariot, and hit me such a douse
on the nose, besides sptatching me !

AiL Doctor Last —

Dr Lfut. Mr Ailwould— Sir, I pay you my
compliDients — Pompcy, bring the carriage fur

me at six o'clock — and, do you hear i call at Co-
ven-Garden iparket for the jerbs, and put than
into the boot.

AiL Upon my word ! [Admiring Last.] liwd,
Lord ! what an advantage dress is ;

Dr Last. To tell you tl>e tratfa, I got diis suit
of cloaths a bargiuo : they belouged to a Beotle-
nian as died under my hands.

AiL Prudence, go and desire your jooog nui-
tress to come hilJier.

Pru. Dr Last — sir, your most obedient.

[Eiit.

AiL You impudent, saucy—

Dr Last. Never mind her ; I^rtl ! Ae meaat
DO harm — I'm too good oatured to take notice of
every trifle — I'm one of the best naturcd fdlo^
I believe, that ever was bon^— Why, Vm like a
dog in ray own house ; I never troubles nysdf
about nothing ; all I desire is, to see thio^ band'
some, and tmy give me whatever tbcj P^"M.

AiL Well, 1 think my daughter will, in dot
respect, ihatch you to a ttule, for she's u poi-
natured a girl as lives.

Dr Lait. Til tell you a thing you'll be gM >»
hear; I believe I shall come out with a aemme-
dicine in a day nr two.

AiL V\l take it— Wtiat is it ?

Dr LoMt. Essence of cucumber.

AiL Of cucumber!

Dr Last. Ay, for the heartburn.

AiL I'm very often troubled with that dtlO^
der; but will it be good for nothing else?

Dr Last. Yes, it will be good for the ciamp.

AiL I've had an odd pain in the ball of w
foot all day ; E don't know what it uiav tnm Ift

Dr Lait. I wish Miss Nancy woul({cuBie,&r
I think we should prove agreeable, and we'd fa
things directly ; I'll settle whatever yoo pl(*!r
upon her, for 1 have neither chick nor cfaiU, ^
ray old mother.

AiL Here she is:

Enter Nancy and Prvdevce.

Nancy, tbii is Dr Last.

Dr Last. No offence, miss, I hope? [Gik"^
and kiucM her.] I thinks Mr Ailwouli^ ^*
very much like you, only she wants a scnp^
colour; but I'll give her & bottle of slo^inii
we're married, tliat in three doses will oske its
cheeks as red as a rose.

AiL Why doi>'t you speak to the d(KV>
Nancy ?

Nan. I don't know what to say, sir.

Dr Latt. Let her alone, let her atone; "tl
talk fast enougti, wlien we're better acqoiiBK'
— I fancy, Mr Ailwould, we shall havevdyfa*
children; I had three as beautiful habes hj^
Inst spouse, as ever a womait brought ino i^
world.

AiL I hope thc/re dead, doctor ?

J> Irfuf, Yes, yes; I told you so a bit >9^

Foote]

BRITISH

Sweet pretty lilile an^rli! they all lies in Pnn-
cridgc churcli-yutl with their poor dear nmnitay.

AiK III PinrTa!i churcli-yani f

lyr LaU. Ycfl, there** Lnnib-itoiies over ercry
one of Ihera.

AiL Tumb-stonei !

Dr Latt. Ay.

Ail. Is there though f

Dr Jjttt. Ye-i ; what's the tmittcr with tou ?

Ail. Ilci^hlw!

J}r iMSt, tiavc YOU got the colic?

Ail. No.

I<!an. lias any sudden illnew seized you, sir ?

Ail. No, ualy low spiritv I think ftomclmw,
I dwll be buried in PanLnischurch-Ynrd inysctr.

J^rtt, Ijtni fiir! how ran you lake surh rhingx
into yolir betid f

All I ni»h there had been no talk about tomb-

'ru. Here's my lady.

Enter Mns Aii.wori.D.

AiK "Mn Ailwould, thi« is T)r I^a^t.

JIfn Aif. I have seen (he doctor before, my
dear; but what** (fie maticr with you, eh ?

Dr Ijttt. Noiliiiit;, inndara, nothini;; he hiis
•rtilv p>t n litde fii of the horrors: let liim alone,
IwTl ounie lo hirawlf apniri hy and by.

PMrt. Ait. I hope, d«uchrrMr»-lnw, you are
•cn&ibtc of the goodness of this gcotleinan, >q ta*
kifwyoo without n |i<irtiun?

Dr hoMt. YcK yes; and I hope tny parson

, prorrs ugrecitbte to her. Have you seen inv

picture, mi&A, thni's in the eipediliou-room iit

^prinp-cardens?— every one say? it's nionttrous

like mr. Take her to see it, do. It will cost hut

■ frhiflin;:; you'll easily know it — it's o'lhc same

■icie with tJie imnge there — Venus the n>etbodist,

I thinks tlicv cull it.

Ail. Welf, but, doctor, gi^Y me leave to R<«k
I, and doii't be uflcttded at mr tein|i; u little
ticular, on account of inv girl ; I know you
%vm realized somcthinj: considerable: but, how
Bire ytiu Inid not your money ? Have you crer a
TKP of land ?
lir Ijiit. Why, ns far as this here, there's my
plncv by Houti<ilow, I Ixui^hl it out and out; thc
%rliole concern costs me upwards of fifteen hun-
«lr«d pnundsj with my pond and my pigcoo-lkouse,

«nd

J^m. Have you any fmh in yo«r pond, doctor?

kii X>p X-uir. Mo, my dear, lis not dttp enmigh ;

iftdc*, it> in the road, and Fm afmid ihev'd be
le : but I have pi|.f^ and pigeons; and next
Vvnnnser I shall make a new repruuch to my
'I'SvMSse. with a fistula that will give us u riew of
ia|J titc (icibbets upon the heath— then there's a
'^rgrr runnii^ dltcn that I'll make into a turpcn-
t««ae river.

jSi/. fomr, Nancy, let me h»ve tlte sattsftfc-
j^MMpf teeing you give your band lo Dr Last.

JVian. Sir

AU. Nay, nav, no ooying.
Nan. Dear sir, let me beg of yoti ttot to be so
precipitate, but allow the geuileman and me suf-
hcieut lime to kuow one anocher, and try if our
iudinaiions are mutual.

Dr La$l. Aly inclinations arc mutual, mist,
and not to be changed ; for the tire of love, as I
niny sny, 15 shot fmm your beautiful e]res into
my heart : and I cotdd say more — if it was not
out of respect to the company.

Mrt AiL Pe^hap^ my dear. Miss Nancy has
Rsetl her incluiationB vimewhcrc else ; aud, hk
a dutiful daughter, made a choice for herM^lf.

JUan. If I had, madam, it would be such i
one as ueitlier reason m>r hmiuur would make I
ashamed of.

Mrt Ail But if I were in vour papa's place, J
miss I would make ynu taVe the iiersuti Ej
thought proper for your husband, or I kiiowl
what" I'd do.

A'on. (), madam, nobody doubts your aSiM>>|
tion; but, |>eriiaps y°u ">■■> be boulkcd in tfas'>
favour vou dcsij:u me.

Ail. NVcll, but *tiiY : methinks I make but a
whiiniical aort of a figure betweeu you bolJt.

Son. Tbe duty of a daughter, tnadaiu, is art
iinliiniicd ; and there are ccitain cases, to whiih -
aeither law nor reason can make it extend.

iSit Ail. I'hat is to say, vau are very willing^^
to be married, but ynu ore not willing your la^ |
ther should have any hanil in tlie matter f
Ait. Mr Lul, I tieg your pardon for all ibis.
Dt Ltat. Ixx tbcm go on! 1 likes to heapi
them.

Mrt AU. Your insolence la inufierable,
child !

Aan. I am very sensible, madam, you would
be giad to proroVc me to make you some imptTli-
tient answer ; hut I tell ymi bcfore-hund, 1 slialt '
be (.ireful not to give you that advanti^e over
Die,

Mrt Ail. You don't know, ray deor^ that yoa
ore very silly.

tinn. *Tn labour tost, madam ; I shall make
iw HUKwer.

Mrt Ail. You liave m ridiculous pride about
you — a vain self-sufficiency, which makes you
shocking to every bod v.

A«e. I tell you, miidam, once more, it won't
do; I will preserve my temper in spite uf you :
ami, to deprive you of all hopes w succe«ditiK
agaiiat ine. 111 take myself uut of your sight im-
mediately.

Ail. llariiV. Nancy, no more words; rcaolve '
to marry this gentleman witliiii three days, or
I'll turn you out lo starve in tlie streets.

[Eri* N«3»0T^
Mrt Ail. A little impudent, saucy minx!
Dr halt. She has n purdigious deal uf toQgtie
for such a y»»unp crater !
Ail. My lamb, don't make youMelf uneasv

5L6

BRITISH DRAMA.

CBlCKEBSTAFF^

about the ba^agc ; I'll bring ber to her senses,
I'll warrant jou.

Mrs Ail. ludncd, my dear, you duii't knon
how rm bhocked at her behaviour.

Ail. Are you shocked, Iotc ?

Mrs Ail. Yes, that I am, to the soul ! I
tliuugiit she wanted to inunuate that I did not
love you, my dear ; and any thing of that Lind is
worse to me than ten thousand daggers !

Ait, She's );oing to faint.

Dr Last. Let me feci her pulse.

Ail. A glass of water here !

Dr Last. No, no, gi\-e her a glass of cherry
brandy; I'm no friend to drencbiiig Christians'
bowels with water, as if they were the tripes p(
a brute beast.

Mrs Ail. Mr Ailwould, permit me to go into
my own room a little, to recover myself.

Ail. Do so, my lo\'c.

Dr Lasl. And, do you hear, madam, take a
dram, as I bids you ; a little rum and bUi^ar, if
you have any iu tlie house; that's what X gene-
rally swallows, and I alwavsfiud the good effects
of it. [jEjj7 Mas Ailwoulu.

Enter Prvden'ce.

Ail. How now?

jPrti. Sir, a gentleman, that says lie comes
from your brother, Mr Friendly, desires to sec
you.

Ail. Who is be ? what would he have?

Pru. I don't know — lie cuts a droll figure —
Here he is, sir.

Ail. Get out of the room.

Enter Wag, in disguise.

Wag. Sir, I'm your most obedient.

AiL Four servant, sir.

Wag. By what I perceive^ sir, I have not the
honour to be known to you~-my name is Scower,
sir ; and I come recommended by your brother,
Mr Friendly, and study thepracUcc of physic.

AiL Sir, your servant.

Wag. I observe you look very earnestly at me,
sir; what age do you think I am of?

Dr Last. Hold, let me tell him — What age
are you of — You are about foui^and-twcnty, or
tbcreaways.

Wag. ay the Lord, I'm above fourscore !

Dr Last, Tliat's a damned lie, I'm sure !

AiL Hold, doctor! perhaps he has lived all his
life upon tincture of sage.

Wag. Sage ! a fiddle ! I have secrets myself
that Hill keep me alive these hundred years.

Dr Last. I suspect this is tlie soldier that lives
in tlie Old Bailey. You'll see how FII make him
expose himself. You say you're a doctor ? who
made you so ?

Wag. Sir, I am a travelling doctor; and, at
present, have the honour of being phyiidan in

ordinary to one emperor, four kings, three elec-
tors, and I don't know liow many prince pal>D-
tines, mai^ravcs, bishops, aod vulgar bighnes^r! ;
passing from toffo to town, from kingdom tQ
kingdom, to find out patients wordij of my prac-
tice^ and fit to exercise the great and noble se-
crets of my art. 1 scorn to wnuse mTsdf with
the little fry of common distempers, tlH> triflei oi
rheumatisms, scurvies, %Kd megrims; pre me
your diseases of importance, good puiple feveni,
good pleurisies, with inAammations of tiie lot^i:
these are what please rae ; these are vhit 1
triumph over.

Dr Last, Ax him, can he bleed and dn«
teeth ? — I dare to say he knotr* notbii^ of cfaintr-
gery.

Wag. Have you never lieard of ray black pow-
der that is taken likeaau^ and purges bydtr
smell, provided that, at the same time, wn
swallow three large glasses of laxatire tisao ?'

Dr Last. Then its the tisan that does it !
Mark that! O! he's quite a cheat !

Wag. Let me feel your pulse— Come, beat as
you should do — \_Feeling his pulne in a ndic*ii»i
manner ; at the tame time kumming a <irnr.]

AiL Why, sir, one would think yoa were plac-
ing upon the spinet?

Wag. Even so, sir; for T do nor, like othtt
physicians with a watch iu my hand, detnniiiie
the state of the pulse by that fallible iDcasurer
of time.

AiL How then ?

Wag. By a tune; which, I belie«-e, jm «iQ
allow to be a discovery ncv», aud cntuely bdt
own. If the pulse moves in concert witp tfat
minuet in Ariadne, I am sure that the palieet ii
well. Let me see, sir — Tot, lol, derol — iheitM
dropped a crotchet. Tol, lol, de-n>l — there «
mounted a miaum. Tol, lol, lol — and tbervi
semi-dcmi quaver is missing.

Ail. A serai-demi quaver !

Wag. Stay I — Let me consider — two bus u^
a half — Who is your phyucian ?

AiL Dr Last.

Wag. What! thatliule filliiw?

Dr Last. Little fellow ? What do yita me*
by that ?

^(7. Nay, gentlemen

Il'i^. Come, come, let us mind oar bosaa-
What does he say is the matter with toq ?

AiL Why, sir, he tells me Vn got Ac j
dice.

Wag. He^s an ass !

Dr Last. Am I so ?

Wag. Mr Ailwould, look in mj face. [TdK^
ing Aim here and there with hisjaign:] Bow in
vou find yourself?

AiL Why, I don't know ! I find myself h^
way odd.

Wag. Just as I suspected : you have got ^
dropsy 1

Ml £hl the dropsy?

FOOTE.]

BftlTtSH DRAMA.

517

H'd^. Whj, don't you miC wlmt a nrellcd
belly vnu ha\ef nnd )-aur eyes stnrtiog out of
yoiu [tend?

^lA KculW, doctor, I ulway^ itiouglit yun had
tai&tftLen Diy dtMirdcr.

l>r Latt. He has no dropsy — lie has not a sup
iif water tn hiin. Jxt him he tnppcd to tij; Til
staad to his tnppiiic.

Wag. Yuii arr iiti tjinnrnmiia !— Ixt o« hear a
little what arc >iiur CMinplaintii.

AiU I linve every now und then a potn ta my
JteaH.

H'<ui>. Dropsy.

jtiL Stineiiiues a niift before uiy eyes.

^ag. IJro(»yi

AiL Somttimes a vialent pulpitiitiou ut tny
henfU

Wag. Dropsy.

Mi, At other times I am taken with a violent
piiin in mv \^\ly, a> if il was tlic culic.

Hag. Dropty ognin. Vuu have a good appc-
lice to wtiat you «at ?

AtL Ves, Mr.

Wag. Dropsy. You love toilnnk a glass of
wiite >

Ail. Vc».

HVj». ThAt's tlie drop«y. You take a ooiu-
^rtnhlc nap after dinner p

Ail. True, sir.

HV/f. Dmpsy ! drt.psy! dropsy ! — All dropsy !

lyr iMtt. VVcll. if it be, can you cure him }

Wofi. A quark like you wuuld ^ay, ax : but I
«)nnerely trti the vcnltctnail at once, he's a dead
limn.

All. Tlien, the Lord have mercy on me !

Hu;.'. That is, I mean, Itc would be (lead in
fwrrty-four houn-, ifl v-as not in help him ; but
I linvc Ute utily remedy in the world for it.

Ur htttt. ri'in't lieheTu him ; hu'a a cheat !

Ad. Give it to mc; III take it, let it be what
at will.

Wmg, Then, t^bigrnc, I don't desire a licass
farthing vrith<Mit you're cured.

Ail. Ixiok vou iherc, doctor!

i)f Ijs%t. tt ell, don't I do the same ?

Wan. Uitt. it yiiu iirr curul, you must give ntc
u hiUKln-il j^uiucu.

Ail. \-M atiall have the money.

Dr iMtt. It's Luo nmcli; I'll do it fur five.

W*t)£. I hiive been at a ofcal deal of poinii and

I inmblr, aiirl mode many eipcriments, id onlfr

lu lind a radical cure for this disease, thiit itti'xtld

I be at unre safe, cheap, and cai^y. My lirkt in-

I rentii'in wns a pump; W menus of which, 6icd

in the betly of the patient, I meant to pump out

[ ll»e dnipsicnl humour, as you «N0uld water nut of

tb« hold of u ftliip ; threescore and eleven people

i lijed iinclrr the npf'ralinn.

I AiL Well. <nhnt is (he luu of a few individuals,
f6of 1^ general ftood of mankind ? You brought it
-feciion at la^t }
Yag. No ; ut la»t 1 found it was impractica-

ble; yet I would have gnne *»\ in hopea, but
pc^>plc grew chickcn-hrartcd, and would not let
nic try.

Dr Laii. Sa they well mi^ht — You sbuuld
not pump inc iu that iiiaitoer for tWe Uiouaaod

(HlUIld.

M'ag. Well, sir, my next eiperimenl was cat- ■
led tlic Making nperatiun ; which was cuotrived '
thtis: I made tnc patient ^wallow a piece of 1
spuiigo fastPiml b> a strin)^ wliicit, );iiiiit; don ii,liis .
throat into hi^ Mnmach, 1 let tie there till I had '
abtorbcd ur *uttked up the watery humours, and
tber drew il up again, with all it'» contents; r»-
peatiiig the otteralkm till 1 bad left the body ac i
dry MS nu empty dccnnter.

Ait, Well, nnd what ftticcesa?

Wait. Why, I had a great deal Utter suoeess i
nith thiit tbiiu tlie furmcr : for 1 thiidc it killed
but four-iind-lwcnty.

Dr Lmt. Well, take my advice, Mr Ai^
would, neither be iHiiuped nor soaked.

Moi'. The (crintltinan has luAhuig to foar;i
what 1 •.hail iimke uh.- of upon ibis ocriuiiMi tS I
Dt^ grcAt drirer. or essence lufcfDaUs.— Yoa see
this little phial ?

T)r Latt. 1^1 me it>ee it — and I'll make bold
to ta&te it, loo. — Don't touch it, Mr Ailnould t ,
don't touch it ! it's corroding supplement, and '
will throw yon into a salvation.

Wag. Not a grain of mercury in it, upon tny '
honour ! noihiug but simp)c<i.

AiL pray icire the phuil to mc; I think I can \
distii^ui^h : for I Imre taken a great many of
iIkm: ihinp— I row 10 mou, il tastes to mc tike j
strung beer or porter!

Wag. [yjwi/r.] By the Lord he has gurs«cd
it ! — Oh«en-e luc, s\t, il is a uaciitic drawn from
rrtishafic, nrvine, InudaniMTi, vcrrlierise, copper-
as, with a convenient mixture of the juice of J
hemlock. You sec, sir, I despite quackery; l[
tell vou fairly what toy mediciac* are.

lit Jjut. Medicines, do you call themf

Wag. Give it cat, d'j*^ muuM, rat : or. in «lM)rt, ,
any cteaiurr, bi|)crl or quadruped, of the brat* J
creation, (hcv are immediately thrown intu lh« '
most intoler4hte Tonnents, swell like a tun, and
burst hcfi)ri: your eye*^.

AH. A fuir niedicuic, indeed !

Wtig. Well, I'll let you lake the contenta of
lbi» wliule bottk' : und if it duet you any inoi« i
luirm than m much new mtlk, I'll giie yoa leav* j
to knock me down. '

Ai(. Knoi'k vou down !

Wttg. Nuy,'io«»rc: if you had infirmities from ;
head to foot, the first doK will cure you of every |
one of them.

Dr iMst. Yea, indeed, I belie%Ttt would.

Wag. Tell me, Mr AitwouUl, »hat do you do |
with this arm ?

A%L My arm !

Waf-. Take my adrice, cut off ^its vm ii»>J
mcdiatehr.

518

BRITISH DRAMA.

[BlCKESSTAFF 4

Ail. The deace ! Cat off mj wm !

Was. It is the new method of practice that
I mean to iiitroclucc. Don't we prune trees of
their hniaches, to make them more healthy?
Aiid^ don't you see that this arm drawii all the
nourishment to itself, and hinders clw other from
thriving ?

Ail. At, but I hare f)Ccasion for my arm.

Wag. Here's an eye, too, which I would'hare
instantly plucked ou^ were I in joar place. —

Ail. Pluok out my eye !

Wag. Don't you see it injures the other, and
occasions these mists you complained of but
now Be guideil by roe, and have it taken
away directly; you'll see the better with your
left.

Dr Loit. I tell you, Mr Ailwould, this is some
cheat.

AiL I bc^n to suspect so. — ^Hark'e, sirrah,
who kent you here ? Arc you come to miirder
me?

Wag. Oh ! Sir, if you're in a pasuon, ynur
scrvanL

Dr I^st. Ay, but you bhan't get off so. — Stop
thirf!

Wag. Nav, then, I must take to my heels.

^Vhroiet hi$ wig at JmiI, and run* off.

Ail. Did you ever see sucii an impudent
scoundrel ?

Dr La^. Do you keep the wig — we can swear
to the \i\% — while I follow, and find out who be
is — I'm almost sure he's the soldier in Uie
Old Bailey ; for be has a spite against me, and
employs old women to tear down my advertise-
ments.

Enter Friendlt and Pkudence.

AiL Ah ! — I'm quite overconie ! I can't sup-
port myself any longer.

Pru. Your brother, Mr Friendly, sir.

Friend. How now ! What's tlie matter ?

Ail. O ! Mr Friendly, your servant — but I
wonder ynu arc not ashamed to see ray face :
did you think my »ckly habit would not put me
out of the woria soon enough, but you must join
with wretches to drive me hence ?

friend. I don't understand you.

Ail. How could you send me that wicked
monster, who, under the name of a doctor, want-
ed to give rae poison ; to cut off m^ arms,
thrust out my eyes, and so make me falud and
lame?

Friend. I never sent you any physician !

Ail. No ? — he pretended he came by your re-
commendation.

Friend. He's some impostor — and indeed,
my dear brother, you lay yourself too open to
the practice of such fellows, who are acquaint-
ed with your weakness, and take advantage of
n.

AiL My weaknesi isgrea^ indeed, as yoa 1x17
siRe.

Friend. How do yoa find yomaetf vt-4tf,
then?

AiL Extreroelr ilt, indeed.

Friend. How ! extreme^ !

Ail. In a cooditioa so faint and feeble, dnt I
am not able to stir.

Friend. Indeed !

Ail. I hare scarce strength enoagti to tfok

to TOU.

Friend. Vm heartily vxrry for it, brother, he-
cause I came to talk to you npoii a matter of
cuiiseqaencc; nn less than to propose a atuk
for my niece.

Ail [Ri*^ >K A vktUnt /Mssion.] Brethcr,
don't talk to rae of that hussy ; aht?% aa ia-
pudcut, ungrateful jade ; 1 ilelesi, I renuom
ber ; and will own noboidy for my fnend, tkit
speaks a word in hfr fevour.

friend. However, brother, Vm glad (o fni,
that your strength returns a little, and that job
have still got spirits enough to exert youndf:
my visit 1ms done you so nnich ^kmI at leMt;
and to do you still more, I insist upon Toaroo^
ing with me into the garden inaioediatelj.

Ail. Into the garden !

Friend. Ay ; a walk tfaera will do yon gtwd.

Ail. 1 have nut been in the open airtme IM
months.

Friend. So much the worse for yoo.

Pru. So it is Mr Friendly. Do, sir, be pre
vailed on by your Imither.

AiL I know I shall catch my death of ciM

Friend. I warrant you.

AiL Well, corae then. Prudence, ^vc mein
furred gown.

Friend. What ! to go into the garden is tk
middle of July?

AiL Ay, ay, Vll take care of myself in ipitt
of you all.

Pru. Get him out at any rate. [Jxiir-] —
Here*s yoar gowp, sir.

AiL So — !^t me wrap it close about p*—
Where are my flannel ^ovea.

Pnt-. Here, Mr.

AiL Now, pull down my night-cap^ and potot
my hat.

friend. Wh^r, brother, ^uVe wrapt op tte
a Rusuan courier for a winter jooniey iutt Si-
beria?

AiL You may sar what you |de«ie.— Ho^
Prudence, tie a handVercfaief about my neck.

Friend. Is that necessary, too ?

Ail. Come, now, brother, HI go with pift
though I'm sure it will be the death of me.

\.0tmg4-

Pru. Well, but, sir

AiL Wha^s the matter?
Pru. You forgot, sir, that you can't walk widh
out your cane.
Mi. HwCs tme ; give it mok [Etmat.

FUOTE.]

BIUTISH DRAMA.

ACT in.

I

*

SCEXE T,— jf nmui ihAiiwoi'Ld's house with a
door m the back,

AiLwot'LO, and Mns Atlwovld,

Aii. WiicRK iirt tbou goin4 abnittH, rov life?

Mrt AU. To il»c Temple, my deur, to Mr
Jugjile the law;ftT, to desire liim to come here
and iiMike jour will, since vou nil) hnvc il su.

All. Thill's ri^tit, luml), that's right-

Mrt AiL But an a<:d(lriit has happened, <icar-
crsc, which I tbuuglit it mv duty to iiirurili vou ul*
before I went. — Asl {kum-iI by ViTur dmia,hter
Ktttic)r's ch»inb«r, 1 saw a vuuti;^ lelluw iIiltc in
•wne»t coiirL'reiice with her.

All. How ! with injr (tkuchtcr !

Mrt AU. Yes; nnd I'm -mtv I saw tlio same

Cauiig ftliow, a little befuref talking uith your
rother ia tlic parlour.

Aii^ And could vou overhear what &bc and
(lie yuuDg fellow were HritiK toj:cthcr ^

A/ri AU. No, sweeU-it; hut your Jillle diiiuf;lt-
tcr Polly was with tlicm.

AiL hie child?

Mr\ AU. Aye, the iJiiltl, iny ticar — forwanl
enough i>r Iter a{(e ; I lusurc you she knows tu

mucli nt five, as I did nt lifleeit Iliil 1 dare

«wear you nmy vfl e^cry thing out of lii-r.

AU. Go, prithee, uid hcnd Ute little ^u( to me
this irutant.

Mr$ AU. My dew, I will — Pdljr ! jour pap»
w«0U vou.

.^«/.'lJye, iJiddy [EtU.

Enter PoLLT,

i*i»/. Do you wuit Die, papa ? — JVIy utnmTna
Mjs YOU want me.

AtL Yes, huwy; come here nearer. ■

>Vhnt do yuu turn away for?— Look mu in die
fticc.

Pol Well, papa.

AtL S.

Pu/ What, pmpa ?

AU. Have von iiothinj> to tell me f

i'iU. Whut'ihould I tell you?

Aii, You kn<jw well i-n<(iitj;h, liUMey.

PoL Not I, indited, nud n|H>u iny word.

Aii. U this the way yuu do what you're hid ?

rol Uhnt?

AU. Did (tot 1 onlcr you to come and tell inc
XinflK:^lui<'-ly wliolL-ver yuu AUW ?

Poi. Y», papa.

Ail. And tuivc yuu done m f

Pot- Yes; I'm come to tell you every tiling
XV* •ecn.

Ail. Very well.— \Vlwl have you ^ecn to-day ?

J^tf/. I taw my lord umyor go by in hi> coftcn.

Ail. .And nothing ciae }

PaL No, indfed, indeed !

AU. I isliall make you alter your tone a little,
I fancy, if [ fetch a rod.

PoC Oh, dear popa!

.■\U. You bag^c, you, why don't yon tell me
you saw a man in ynyr aUter'i chandler f

Pol. Why, roy Mstcr bid me nut, papa; but
I'll ti:ll you every thing.

AU. Take Cure, thiii, for I have u way of
knuviinj( all; nnd if you tell me a lie

Pot. But pniy, papa, don't yuu go anil tell my
sUter that I told yuu !

AU. Never (car.

PoL Well, tlicii, papa, there came a man into .\
mv KisXer'ii chamber a* I wai there ; I uked him f
wfiat ht' wunted, and he told mc he wu lier lt»* .
lian miuter.

AU. Oh, the matter** out, then !

PoL My hiMcrcame in at'tcrwardi.

AU. Well, and what did your iietcr say^

PiU. Why, first the mail kisM'd her.

AiL Did'he so?

PoL Yes, two or three times, but »hc was DoC>
wiliinv; hikJ then »he uid (o liim, go away, go
n«ay— ajid she said, slie was frighu-ncd out of,
III!!- wit5 — and she said, stie wa5 afraid you
would come and catrh Iter.

AU. Well, and what then ? i

PaL Why, he would not go away.

AtL And — WhiU did he say to her?

P»L Say ! lie A«id— I don t kiiow bow tnanjr
tilings to Iter.

AU. .'\y, hut what ?

PoL Whv, Iw iaid lhi» and that, and t'other;
lie said, he loved her luighlily ; und that she was
tiic prettiest creature in the world.

AU Well— and after that?

PoL Why, after that, be took ber bj ibe
hitnd.

AiL .And after that ?

Pi*L After tliai, Itc kitted ber of^tn.

All. .\mi (ifter that?

PiU. Aftur that — .Stay; O, after that, mj
mamma cauic, and he rau away.

AtL Aod yuu saw no more r

Pol. No; indeed, and indeed, papa.

AiL There's jtonicthii^ howe%-cr, wb^en in>
my rar that you have cot told m« lUL Tnis Uf «
tic finger

PuL O, tlial little liitgcr's a siury-teller.

AU. Have a care !

Pol. Duu'i believe it, papa ; it fibe, iiKleed !

AU. Well, get you gone, tlica, aitd remember
what I have Mid to you.

PoL Yes papa, yc»; FU rememljpr. I am
glad be did not whip me ; 1 wa& at'raid be would
Have whipped me. [£nf.

59.0

BRITISH DRAMA.

[BlCKERSTAVri^

Eater FaiENDLY.

Friend. Come now, brother, I must insist
upon it, that you will not put yonrselC in a pns-
Mon; but sit down liere, aiirl let nie resume the
conversation which we ju!>l now hnitc ud'.

Ail. Welt, come, let it he m.

Friend. You are to be cool now, rcniniibcr.

Ail. Ay, ay, I'll be cool.

Friend. And to'ansiwer uie wlilnmt pi-craricn-
tion.

Ait. Good lord, yes ! here's n terrible pream-
ble, sure!

Friend. Flow comes it, then, brother, give me
leave to as', you once mure, that, being iu the
circumstances you arc, ami havini^ no other chil-
dren but two daughters, you can entertain the
stTMigfl design of marrying your eldest in the
manner you are going to dispose of her f

Ail. Pray, brother, how comes it, that I am
master of my own family, and dispose uf my
children as I lilie f

Friend. Your wife, no doubt, is glad to get rid
of her at any rate.

Ail. Oh ! ay, now it comes and the poor

wife is to be dragged in ! 'tis she does all the
mischief, to be sure, and all the world will have
it so.

FricHd. No, no, brother; we'll leave her out
of the question ; she's a good woman, that has
tlie best mteutions in the world for your family,
is free from all manner of sclf-iutcrcst, has a
marvellous tenderness for you, and shows an in-
conceivable aflection to your children, that's cer-
tain. We'!! say no mure, ihcrcfbio, of her, but
return to your daughter; but, pray, let nie ask
vou, with what view would you marry her to this
Dr Last P

AiL With a yiew of having so skilful a physi-
cian as Dr Last related to me.

Friend, Heavens, brother ! how can you talk
so? Skilful! I never saw tlie man; but I am
told, that, of all the quacks in town, numerous as
they are, he is the most ignorant as well as the
most impudent : but it is really shocking to hu-
manity, to consider to tvhni a head these dani^e-
rous cheats are arrived in this great city : and it
is not less amazing, that people should confide
their health, their most valuable possession, to
wretches they would not trust with any thing
else. In short, I know no way of putting a stup
to their progress, but by an unlimited act against
the vending of poisons, which, I tliink, would
very fairly comprehend them.

Ait. Hb ! You have made a very fine speech,
now. Do you think, if the cures they perform
were not wonderful, people would take their
medicines so kindly i What has essence of wa-
ter-dock done for the scurvy? What balsam of
honey, in colds and consumptions? Tlie stomach
pill9 fur colicky complaints ? Then, you senseless

idiot you, d'ye think his majesty woald pre Iu
royal letters patent for pills, essenoeis cleco*
anes, cordials, tinctures, quinteaseoceif to poboa
his subjects ? But to strike yoo dumb wt once,
is not that blessed medicine, baume de vie, io
itself, a remedy for all disorders under Het-
ven ?

Fri£nii. All !

Aif. Look ftt the list of cores — then Ae rci>
soiling's good — .111 disorders sprii^ from tfac >t»*

niacli lieuumc de rie h a sorcr^n remedy

for the stomach — and, therefore, cares all ife-
order!*.

Frivttd. If so, Arhy don't you take it, and get
rid of yours ?

Aii Why ! why ! there's oo general mk
without an t'liceptinu.

Friend. Come, come, brother, the tnitfa of it
is, there's nothing the matter with you at sll—
and I desire no better proof of the exceUeocy of
vour constitution, than that all tlie dops yoo
have been taking these ten years have not bant,
or otherwise destroyed you.

Ail. Here's Dr I^ist ! he is so gjood as to cone
on purpose to administer his mediciue to om
himself. Pray now, brotlier, behave youndf
properly.

Enter Da Last, icith a vial in one kmnd, md •
glasi of tcater in the other.

Dr Latt. Come, Mr Ailwould-^^

Ail. Brother, with your leave.

Friend. What are you going to do now?

Ait. To take some of Dr Last's cordial; ami
let me pre\'ail upon you to take a ^ass, too.

Dr Latt. Do, sir, one dose ; its as uatuni u
a man's constitution as breast -imlk : and, if yos
will take it for a continency, once you are a lit-
tle manured to it, it will work the most soipn*
singest ditierence

Friend. Prav, sir, what is it }

Dr Last. Sir, I would not tell yoa, if yoi

were my father; no, nor king George— but 11

show you — Y'ou see this glass of New River wi-

, ter — its as transparent as rock crystal — Now, I

puts twelve drops of my cordial mto it ud

there — its as fine asses milk as ever wss tasted—
: [ vow to the lord, there's worse sold for a did*
ting a pint, that comes from the beaatit tho-
se Ives !

Ail. VVell, I believe that's rery true.

Dr Last. I presume, by yoor wig sir, diit job
hcloni^ to the law; and if youll put Toondfus*
Her my care, I'll gire yoa something^ for wbiii
you »ilt be obliged to me; and yet its uothi^
but ihc juice of a simple yerb : biit IVe tried it
upon several gentlemen in your way, who, fros
being sheep, as it were, have become as bold v
lions.

Ail. Attend to Uiis, broUier, for it is noiti
li^ttening to.
i 3

I

I

FOOTE.]

BRITISIi DRAMA.

Ml

I

I

Dr Laat. Then it U one of the beautifallMt
things upon ycarth for ttie ineraory — There wnt
m little baj, leven years ot'a»e. ((id not know one
of his letters — Hi^ (tipfi W.LI an^rv, h'ls mamrna
was uiigaiy ■ -i I'lu'y Irm^lit him the pretty
book* fur diil-lmi, letters in iMreclmRat*, |in^r-
brriid, iv'trv, nil iii'initi>r nf pliiv-tliiii<;t to ititlce
him tike Itit Uniit»t{, hiit it would tiot do: licar-
in<! ut* mr MN-'ret. iVf applied to me; ( gnve the
child n if'>4e. nnd. will y>iu bolicvc.* it, up^n the
word «r tti) iMiieat man — ho oulU my his criss-
cro*»-fow nt II t'liTnmht.

AiL M'lw, (h«i'» very nmniirt^ ! Tit make uw
of it mv»elf', ^nd lie^in to rend Im nediately ; fir
I never rrncnlirr a word ufturtlie book is ^hut ;
and thil*4 vexntHHu, jtnt kttnw.

Dr (miI. And would rou believe, thai lliii
fioe rcniMly wa« inrontcd by my uld mother?

AU. Your motlicr !

J>p I<art. Why. the knows o^ much of ohytic
ml I do ; it 15 a icift in our family : tind sne has
innoted things to take ifx>to out o( doftUu, and
aron raottlds out of linen.

jIU. 1 lone to he ncquuinted with her.

/>r ijAff. Well, will villi swallow Uus now 7
_ Aii, Av, come «iic it to tne.
. Sriend. You ^*^t wire — Caii'r you be a moment
viClKHit fotnc amy slop or another i [mt it nf)
■> ft nwre coovtaieat time, iind itive nature n Ut-
ile resptf c.

Ail Well, then, this evening. Dr Last, or to-
■lorrow mnrntiii:.

Dr hut. VtAH. «ir, may I be W bold aS to ax
if your name ntnt Gro^^in«7

Friend, No, sir; mv numc's Friendly.

Dr Ijttt. TLtcn, »ir, I desire to Lnow, air,
what husinen you have to hiiidi-r loc in my oc-
copation? 1 MT the gentleman »hnll take it now,
ttad I warrant it will do bim gwMl.

Vrknd. Fritbee, ronn, whnt d'ye mean*-

lAr fjiil. I innin<t what I «ay«. Mr Ailwotdd,
wUI »ou take it } If you don't uke it, I'll gu a-
way directly.

Frund. Well, do eh away, sir ; **e desire it.

Ur ImU ■ O, witli ail my bean !

[Rrit Da Last.

AH. Drothor, you'll be the cauw of tome mi^
eY»i«'f \ift9.

Friend- What iRiKlueff No. no, brother, I
•hall be the cause nf no misrhief, but a f^rcoi
^tai of fEood ; and 1 wudi I could drive away nil
the plivsic-monget* that caiiiu after you, with
Sbesr curved dnii:', in ihe Mine manner ; yiu'd live
th» |r>D)ter lt>r it.

AH* Some dreadful mischief will come of it,

iwtrcd 1 must call lijoi back Dr La»t, Dr

lA»t!

J^ntnd. Rmther, for shame !
jliL tWi'c talk tn nir ; you wnnt In send me
ly gravp ■ Dr Imul, pny come back !

Sx-enier Da L&it.

Dr Latt. \^Fier<tU/ ta FatEXOt-T.] Did joft
call ine. ur ?

Friend. No, doctor, but Mr Ailwould did.

Dr L»tt. Mr Ailwou'd, 1 am not uied polite-
\y here at all.

Ail. Indeeii, sir, it was not

Ur Lait. 1 have giveti that there thing to U-
dics; nsY, to children, that have been troubled
with the womu, who ocvcr mode a wry fbcc, but
licked their lip« after it as pleasantly m if it bad
been so nnidi treacle or sugar-candy.

Ail. It was not I

Dr hut. And when I took tbe trouble of co-
niiiM rnvjclf

Ail. "Ywa* he —

Dr hut. In my own chariot

All. lie was the cause

Dr ImiI. Without demandinj; nothing eitm-
ordinnry for my trouble — I Itare a good miud
not to marry your dauKhtcr !

Ail. I tell you it was all my brother; it waSi
upon toy wiird and (xedit — Dut give mc ttie cur"
dial ; and, to moke you auKods* I'll Uke duubls

the qiiantity.

Friend. Arc you mad^

Driest. Nn, Ite'snoi — I insist upon his ta*
kin^ it for the honour of m^ njcdicine — And if
you don't take a glass, too, you sliall hear further
I'rom tiie.

Friend. Very well* doctor ; I fear your tword
Ic4s thnn tout |>oisnn,

Dr l^tt. O, ay, poison, poison, we shall ae*
whether its poison.

Ail. Give it to me, doctor.

Dr iMtt. Here, Mr Ailwoa'd.

AtL Fmy now, brother, let me prevail upo*
you. in compliment to the doctor

Frimd. Nnr^ %o*iA bnitlwr, don't be obstird.

Dr Ijiat. Xuw I'm satisfied; and I'll call up*
cm you agaio in on hoar.

Enter P&CDCHCi.

Ail. Prudence!

Pru. Sir!

Ail. Get me my armed cliair ber»— tu iiteaa>
ceivnbic wbiit awanuth this medicine diSiunall
tMer my body.

Friend. Well, but, brotlicr, did not you hear
Dr Lnat say just now, that he was in doubt whe-
ther be tvuuJd nmrry your daughter or not? and
after so sliiihlinj; an ctpressioo, surely you will
not per«i»t io yuor desif^n ! hot let roe talk to
you of this {cntleman who wishes to have mj
niece.

Ait No, bmther. if Dr IasI won't have her,
I'll send her to rramx, and put her iotv a cva-

BRITISH DRAMA.

ent; T am mre the has an amorous inrlin&tian

■ «»inel«»flv : awl tt let rou kiiuw. I ha<'C Hi»-
|«ovcicil tcctvt iiiiervic*** in mt tn»u*c Mhich
liome people •!••■/( think I'lr diarovered.

FrienJ, I (U>e swear. bn>lh«r, my nircc hiu
I'D!* attacliiDcnl hui !» Oi« pr><tll«>nait I have ineti-
1 liooed tojou; lu *hirti our, vou Im^e witliinv;
[to he am^ with, all tetidiagto the boivturable
I purpcTtc nf tuarrace.

I AH. I .4(Ki*r carr fur »>»»( V'hi hit ; III •et>d
I lier trvtr m Franre; I am •((K-nnitieH on it.

Ftttnd. Thcrt'« wiinchody you wunl tu jjlnur,
[ brother, hr I'wt, I fiim'it.

AU. I kiirt* vour nicBnine. sir: Tmi'rr «lw«y»
rfcart'iiii; npim the unir ^initii. Mv wife b n
I ■tmitte hitlwol^lm iti vtiur ««rv brother.

Frfiit, Vc», tirothrr, "hur 'n* neoswirv tn be

run with rou. 'lift yiiiir wiiV, thHl I mk-hii ; anrl
can w iU'tre h<wr ?tmr riHi<"iilnti« fnoihiPit* (nr
filer, thwn thai v*"'" hmc fw phvsir: tmr i-iuliilv
f to ^.v vHi rim Iwad nvef^lumd ioio all tbe titarc*
[fbe )ar> for t(hi.

Pnt. O, 'l«ar lir. don't ipf^V «> of niv lail* —
blhf'* a wtt'iian, that iH>h(»Hy ran *iv m»v thine a-

faitm: a fotuMn "*ilh"ui the l**'^ cmm "(" ir't-
re «K dewKO. imiH iovr% ray mwier ! — llirn:*i nii
ajinu how miK-h *hr \o\vs hiii.

/ti^ At, only akk Iter how fuxauve food sbc
Iti of mr.'

Prv, Mo« eiircB«i« !

j<i/. How mucix onucpm my illtws* pires her.

Pr«. Ye*,

Ji/. And the care and paint she cakes almut
iBie.

Pnt. Rieht. — Sinlt «e omTince wtu now, Mr
Frieiidlv, aiiH aIium «nu dirtrtlv what n surpm-iis
afTcrliun tnv ladv Kns for my t«n«Ter* — I'cM^nit
nie-, *>ir. III uodccctve hiin, and let litin ^ee hit-
mintiiVe. [Axittf.

AH. A« Knw, Prudence'

Pm. lUrk * ni? Mv i^ jo*! rehimed. Du
you step inhi the nr*i nKim thcrt — Mrcrrh youp-
splf ttut, and irit;!! vmirtelf de»d r he may slip
intii llw cIo»et : ril M-I the doors'>|'en, aiiH votiM
wer wh»i tiotetit grief »he11 be in, wheu I tell bcf
till* new*.

Ait H«y — hum ' — I profess I htne a mind lo
taVc hcradvirp — hni. no; I cm nMcr hear in
hear ihc ^hrieki and hmcntntion" »hr*ll maU-
OfCfme; and vft, 'iwill he a ttimfort lo nw* l«i
lienr them t'Hi, tu l(.-(t lier virtuou* tear* bedew
mv face, nnd her awpet Iip4 kt<>inK my rhefiis n
thoiiiinnd time*, to bnii<; me hnck aifniti I" life •
and her— Ah, verily. I'M do it ; verily, 111 do it :
and \HftL »ir, whflt will hecoim-- of voiir fine •iir-
D)j^(Mi^ — Bin, IVud^iirp, art lliitu niH wtnird. thai
ber »rrT thinkine mc dend will tirc-nk her heart ?

Pm. To he sure, sir, if you sliould keep her iti
ber Irirfit toe Idiii;.

Aif '>, let me alone fm- d«t; HI mnk* the
experimciic tbia vcryiiunutc; this very minute.

fBTCKrtsTirv f

Bat is there no imamlt
daadf

Pnt. No, no; what dancer Anald tbcn fee
Tiik only »h>.tlin;£ foiir eve«, ■nd atrvCdnac
4elf out. [lb Ali.wortD-] N*ww, ar. «pe
ftliim voo v<tur ern>r. and cunvkoee y«o bow
ron haic injurrd the beai of wire^^ [Tb Fau»»
1 v.j Twill liC pleawrM RioaRb alterww^ ta
•ee how blank he will look — ilcre^ ay bii;
quick, quick, Ixxh of yn Bwvv !

[£fci<M/ AtLWocLfi aarf FatuviT.

Kmtgr Mba AjLWOfTLBw

Ob! Ilrmvena! Oh' facal muft
ftlraitec accident if lhi» f

Mri Jit. V\ hai'f the matxer,

Pn. [Crying.] Ah! mwlMl !
WEat ifcU?

»hal do jo«

hluhhenoe. prithee ?

i^m. Mv ouMer'* doKif :

Mr* Ail. I»ead'

i*n(. [SoAttRx] Ve-rr-yra.

ilrt jfi/. Are v'Xi «ure -if it f

Pru. 1'tHt »ufe^ alas ! \n IkwIt vrt kiMm* My
thine 'i^ <h» amdeiit ; There wm tw>t a mat M
>iiy«(f lo hrip him; he Mink dtntn w m% um,

.md went otT like a cbild Sec ibrtCt llMbi^

Ik- lir^ fttrttcbcd out iit the taeit nntp.

MrtAU. Now, Ilca«eii be prai«*d I— WhUS
Mmjplcion art tl»oii to crv }

Pru, Cry, lua'aui ! wby, I tiioi^t «e vtif V
trv?

A/m Ait, And for what, prny? T ■^->'' — 'm
Uns be i* — Was Ik- of anv o*e «i| *

man truulilewinie to all the wi>rld ; . ■-^ '■*

f>er«Mi : drsi!u>>tm'i in hi» muiuer*; De««r wtikrt
•nine tillliv medx-inr in hi» tmtutb or b» «»
niacfc ; eontiniuuly cmiehiiitt, lui*kiiic aai^
liiie : a tirc^xnc, pecvi<>h, diMtret-altle nuMtur'

Pru. All nccllcnl fuuervl xTmon, tndr!

\Am^

Mrt Ait Prodcnce. \no tmict asst«t nir in i"
f xrctition of niy deMEii : aud vu tB*t dtptot
upon It. I will umply reward vnur aervrr
by i:<u>d ronuiie. nu otw i» ypt aMVW
MTideiK, hv*ide iwr»elvc% let uft Leep tu* ■
n fecrei a lew duyn. till I havf been able b> <
tiiy niiiiirj on a «jre ftmudsiiinti ■ there *« P
pert qnd money nf whicti 1 w(Kild ptwwj> v-
•elf— Nor. indeed, i* ii jum. that all I hfrr*
fen-d with him In-ina «hoii)tl not be i
*ome afKaiiUee at \u% detuh.

iVa. T«i he sure, itfailam,

iV/r» AH In the moan ritnv, HI tf* and w*
hi* keT»i 'or I know he lui<i a rrwi*idef»ki» ••
of money in ht« scrutuire, whtch be fct.P'Wj^
terday,

Mn AiLwotno ^oiv to ri/ dav, aMi

Fjiir.xpt.v sad AiLvovuh
3(r* ^1^ Ab ! ah ! ab ! [ScnmH

h

K

POOTB.]

BRmsH DRAMA.

Mi

I

I

I

Ail O ! deril or a help-mue t Imve I fuunti

you MUI ?

frifnii. Vnur ^cn-ant, marinm.
Mrt AH. Ljrrl ! ttijr cfear, I'm so disappoiniird
^«ii |>Ien-«Ml, [ iiifnii, ami 9» In^tiU'iicd— I lus
wicked girl tuld uii< you were daij.

Ati \t%, mud a tiue oratkMi jrou prnnounceiJ
flvei in* .'

Mn Ait N&r. but. my dpar, this u (lie mnsi
iwivajMu^hie tliiii^ — [Turning to KnuKDLV.J —
•omc «li|[ht roincriuliirti, that I havr hnd mth
my maid here, \frhich Mr Ailwould tnkci in a
laronp Mcnse : but, 1 dare -iwear, wheii he lui-.
«oii«idcrc<l the luaiier a little, he will think dil-
fereaily.

All. (iet out of mr WKhr, e,et out of mv sight \
Mrt Ail. Welt, buti luveJ), let me ei(>laiii the
■urier to you.

jiU. I'll never liear u wunl frum you ngaJii n?
lone B» I live.

Mn AiL Nay, sir, if you bear yoorwif s<>
hauKliiily, ynu'll liod lur a inaicii fur yt>u- It i^
not lu-day. my dear. I am to Irarn, thnr your
brain i» I'lill uf mvKiits ; Iwnvcver, you »Kall i-nU
mr ai.ffe than oiicc Iwfurc I coioc back tn you.
I a^ure you. [£/j/.

AH, I)id voii erer hear turli an impodpnt
creature^ Ud's tnv life, with what an ivir Jnt car-
ried It I— But du'tt think the na& in earufU,
£rudiaicc^

Pru. Troth do I, »ir.

PrienJ. Conw, brother, to tell Tou the plain
tmtb. Prudence dftiwd this mclliod in ordi-r to
opca your evca tu yi^ur wife's ptf lUlv— she hiu
Jane decoive<i you with a sixiw of fal^ tcndcr-
wttxH, but now you sue her in her urnuinr c»lourH.
AiL I pmfeu mv rye« were daizlcd, and all
■qr aonMn omfiiM;^ ; I know nut what I cithei
Iwar or sea : bat, in tlie Ant plnce, I renounce

Eiktgr Nakcv uHd Hanciuvc.

B P*^' I^nl • *"t here's misi Nancy and Mr
■ Ilarunve.

JVwa. Dear papa, whnl's (h« nuitrcr?

Aii. Vhe matter, child ! I don't ktiow, cliild.
[^SettHfi ll4Nr.RAVE.J What brings you here, sir?

tVuiui. rhia, brother, is the young f^mlenian

I prup'fie aa a inaich for your duufthter; and.

I mtier what I have said, and what has happened,

HI hupc you will au lonffcr refuse to listen to hi»

Hpretenmoiis.

HT AU- Why. really, sir, my chief objection to
Hmcm* is your total iKnoramt- of the medirinal art ;
i if yoa mn tbiak of art method to retimvc thai—

Unr. I most own, sir, I'm at'rard Tm rather loo
fur ^vniYCcd in life to make any piugress in so

Crrcd D study,
itb re^rd (o the more cnplral
It you; bui io die subaltern of*

lir««, I'm of a ormmnr opininn : 5iippn«e, nnw,
you wore tu bind vnunelf tipprfnitcr tor a vetir
ur two to fioiiie skilful apotlterarvf Mirtlr, in
that li'nn vou oiinht learn to dctvp^ter a pre^np*
lion, iind miikt- op a lu- duiiie with a very lew
bluiiUcrs.

Ilor. D'ye thinli sn. sir?

All. Vou lni];h^ iudeml, now anri then, eivc a
dose i>f ar«enic f.tr taiu; but that's an accident
'ttii;hl happen to the iMdc^t pnwtitioiter. '

Frirmtt. Vh, bntlher, liroiher, wimt's this I
hear ! Ii wa* but thi% moment vou were deter*
mined ii> renounce phy«ir. and heie v<w are talk-
ing nt Miiniily and nh-nr-Hv atioul it as e*rr !

Ail, Eh! It's »f y roe, indetd, brodier,
llimeter, let it snflkx 1 enrc the ytmnc man mt
daui:hlcr wilhuut iiiiv i-itnilitton> at all: AiiJI
now I'll f!o and get et{ts.iually rid nf that other
piaiiiu', my wife: for I sliiil u >t be easy, while
we lire under the same rtw»f. ' \ Rrit,

friend If »i- can't cure him of his love for
'InitTs we bat-e dune mRliine.

Nmh. I diHibt, «ir, that will ho impiM«ib<c.

Fiirn/i. lli>t, here mmrs t>r ijnl — It) tale
ilie oppurtnnity of yuir faitter'^ alv>cmY t" h>i««
uiiue sport •»ith him: put on mt-liinchaly cotni*
lenmtces md late vnur tor* fnitn inr.

J ru. I know what you'd be at, Mr, aial ru ••■
cond you,

Enftr Da Lssr.

Dr Latt. Mr AilwonM, where are t«o * 1 hB»c
bntut:lit you some of iny csmtdcc of cucuinl^r, by
•vay of a t&sle.

Friend. O, r>r Last, you're come ! your lei**
rant. 4ir. I'm itlnd to st'c v<ki.

Dr Latl. Sir, I'm obliged to yon — Where b
Mr AiUould?

frirnd. Where is he, air ?——

Dr ImiI. Ay ; becau«t I wanCi to ifMalE tt>
him.

Fiii arf, 1 le's dend, sir.

Hru. [KurMting ndiiulouily into teart.l Ob t
(Jli ! OH !

l)r iMtt. Whai'« ihe matter, MrsPnideiuv?
I warrant yonr muster is uoly m a sound; and
Fvp a bottle of stuff in my pocket that will fetcb
him in a whiff.

Friend, lloldi sir, nr) more of your stuff!

Dr Last, Well, tlico, let me gu and feel his
puise.

FricHd. Nor that neither; yon shan't e» oar
him : hut we moot upon rour tcllinc us what voa
i^ve him out uf viir vial just now !

Dr Ijiit. Mow I tril ynu inv wiTCl — A book-
M-Uer offered mr a thousand pounds for it.

Har. .\ bookwl'er tifii-n-d you a thuusaml
pounds! Thut mav (k% ur, but Mr Ailwould died
a fen minutes after vou adtninistered it; we,
therefore, take it for granted, tliai it has poisuu-

^W4

BRITISH DRAMA.

[BlCKERSTAFT 4c«

cd bim ; utd, unless ^ou prore very cleari; to
tbe contrary, we shall consider joa as bis niar-
flerer, and treat tou accordingljr.

Dr Ltut. O, don't think to humbag me so !

£n(«r AiLwovLD, Mind:.

Ail What are thej dmng here i
Nan. Dear sr, hare patience — Stop where you
are a little, and let them go on.

Friejid. Within there ; seize this fellow.
Dr Last. liberty — I'm a rree-bom Briton, in
WD.J native dty — If any one leys a finger upon me,
Til put bim into tbe crown-office.

Frilnd. A^, but we'll put you into Newgate
first — Carry mm before a justice ! I'll go and be
a witness.

Pru. Ay, and so will I.
Dr Laxt. [7a a grtat poiuoii.] Well, but
atay ; let me go a bit — What will you be a wit-
pess off

Pru. That you poisoned mj master.
Vr Last. It can\ be.
Friend. Well prove it.

Dr Last. It's a fictitious report ; for, to let
70a see tha difference now — what I gave him
was nothing in the world but a little chalk and
vinegar; and, if it could do bim no good, it could
do him DO harm.

AiL And so, sirrah, this is the way you take
people in ? Your famous cordial, then, is chalk
and vinegar?

Dr Last. What! Mr Ailwould, aren't you
dead?

AiL No, sirrah; but no thanks to yea for
that— -so, get you out of my house, or 1 U chalk
and vinegar you with a vengeance, you pretend-

^g, quacking, cheating

Dr Last. Don't stnke me !
Ail. I'll break every bone in your skin, if you
don't get out of my house.
Frund. l^ay, brother^—

Dr Last. My own diariot's below.

AH. A cart, a wheel-barrow for such scob^
drels!

Dr Last. Don't call me out of my oame.

AiL I can't, sirrah !

Dr Last. You did, you did, and FU make yoa
pay for it.

AiL Get out of my house !

Dr Last. I'hat's all 1 want— He has pvsbed
me — I call you every one to witoeaa — VU swetr
to the assault

Friend. Take liim away !

Dr Last. [As they <ire taking him atcay.1 1*8
swear to the assault — and if 1 tloo't get redenin^
fication^^ [Hurried off.

Enter PoiLT,

PoL Papa ! papa !

AiL What's the matter, my dear?

PoL My mamma's goiw abroad, sutd aaya, sbe^
never come home no more ; so she wtm't.

AiL A good riddance ! a good riddance !

PoL La, papa ! if that im't tl^ man 1 saw jost
now kissing my sister !

Pru. Ah ! you little tell-tatc !

PoL Indeed, Prudence, but I am no teD-tak^
■o 1 an't ! for be kissed me too, and I never aid
a word of it.

Friend. Well, my dear, he's to be married to
your sister now.

Pol. Is he i — And won't you get aomebody ts
marry me, papa ? You have been promising aia
a husband a great while, and I'm tired of old
John the butler.

AiL Ay, my dear, I dare swear youll loae 00
time — But, come, brother, let us now go i»— I
have got rid of my wife— I have forawom quacks
and pTiysic — and I hope I shall have tbe satisiao-
tioD to see our irieads atutented.

r£je«a( I

Sib Lcks Limp, the I^me Lover.
StaJE»>T CtncciT, u taayer.
Colon et Secret.
Jack, ion fo Serjeant Circuit.
Mr Woodfokd, attHfheJ toCnkKLOTTM,
Mr FAirtPLAY, hit gaardian,
Fir$t Serzant.
_ Stcoad Servant,

■ Cftar. I TKLL joa, sir, hia lore to me is all •
H pretence ; it is amazing ihut you, **lio ore to

•cute, so quick ill discerning ou other occasioiu,

•bould be »o blind upon this.

ISer. Hut wlierc are your proofs, Charlotte?
What M};iiirirs your opening iDtltcr» which your
eridrncc cannot support t
Char. Surely, sir, strong circunutanoct in every
ODort sliould have weif^hL

Ser. So they have coLlateratly, child ; that it,
hj way, as it were, of oorroboration, or where
BiRlten are doubtful ; then, indeed, ai Plotrden
wisely obiervcs, ' Lci circonttaiKXs ajout bcau-
dcfMjids nuK falts.* You ondenUDd toe i

SCENE

Enter Serjsaiit Circuit and CaARtorrc.

Char. Not pCTfectljr weE

Ser. Then to ciplain by cafe in poiot: A, w«
will suppose, iny dear, robs B ofa watch upoo
Hountluw-healh— d'ye mind, child i

Chmr. I do, Mr.

Ser. A i» taken up and is indicted ; B kwearst
positively to the identity of A. D'ye ohienrtf

C^ar. Attentively.

Ser. Then what does mc A, but setA up tiM
alibi C to defeat tlw affidavit of Q. You take

IDC?

Char, Clearly.

Ser. So for you lee^ then, the balance la evoo.

Char. True.

Ser. But then, in turn the Kale, child, afEaimt
A, in favour of D, they produce the rircuin«tanctt
D, viz. B's wHtch. founa in the pocket of A ; up-,
on which the tcstiiDoay of C bein^ oootradictol

526

BRirrSH DRAMA.

by B— no, bf D — whr then, A, that is to say, C
—no, O — ynnma, B. ihcv otmict C no, do, \—
aninst ilia alGJHvit of C. So, tfii» bciii^ P'*^'^
OtMT, dlild. I Irave ibe npplicutmti in tou.

CA«r. VeriF Mblitfiiii:, Mr. But >opp<i» now,
tir. It fthould a|ipcar, iliat tlie nilrnunn uf sir
Luke limp i) dirucicd to XMiie other object^

wuiilrl iw>t that iiiiliiic ym Ui

Srr. lhl»cr olyecl ! Where ?
Oar. Iti this very house.
Her. Here ! why the pt\ i» non cumpot;
there's uobody bcrc, diild* tint m pared of Abi-
gails.

CAar, No, sir !
8cr. No.

C/iw. Ve«, fiir, nn« penoo else.
Srr. Who i» lh>it t

Char. But remember, sir» my nccusation is
coutined III Sir Uike.
Srr. Well. well.

Char. Suppose then, Mr, thnfie powerful chnrms
which made a c-iuqi**! of imt, mux h'lve ex-
tended ih(ir empire '»vcr ilu- \tvon of Sir lAilie'
Ser. Whv, hu^, jr»u dun't hiui at your mo-
thcr-in-law f
Char, Iiidecii air. bur T d<k
Ser. Ay ! whv lhi» it point binnk treamn
■guiiist mv koverritin niitliorify ! biit can yuu,
Chnrlutttr, hniiic pnHif ul' any overt acui
Char. 0»"ert nets f

Scr. Ay; that ii, anv dptliirati'Mi by wntine.
or cien word of moiiili, is sutlicienl; theo let
tlirtii dtniur if they iliirr.

f hur. I I a n't say that, kir; but anoibcr organ
has l>cr.'n pretty exphcit.
Srr. Whi.h?

CAar. In thine cawt a tery infallihle one —
the eye.

Ser. Pshaw ! nnnsrnM and MuflF! — Tlie pt* ?
The «ve hii» no authorily i»i o CMirl f»f law.

Char. Perhaps nut* sir; but it it a deriuvc
ffrideiirf in a cjiirt of luve.

Srr, Ilnric you, hu^■.y ? why you would run (lie
an inrf>niu4(ioii Bi:uiii'<i the iirin*" nf madnm
your TnothtT? y«ia would not iiiMuuHte that she
oas l>ecn f^uitty nf criin roti, ?

Char, ^ir, ynn nnstnle me; ir is not the lody.
btit (Ih liriiileinHti, I ai» ntxtut in inifM-ach,

.Srr. Hti\e u r»re, Cliarlottc! I sei.- on what
grouitd your artioti U frmnrfrrt— jenlimsy.

Char. Voii were iir\rr mnri- ricmved in your
life; for It in iiuifj*"-)' le. in? dear sir, that jea-
loiii^f ran YubM»t triihout lotr.
At. Well >

Chnr, And from ihut pflsslon, (thank Heaven)
I sin pretty frc€ at present.
Srr Inrfrrd*

t'^or. \ swcci ohjcct tnncitc tetider deutvs !
Sfr. And "hv o'li. hiiissv'
Char. I irst, a<t to bis ymrs.
iSrr. Whiil iHcn?

CItar. I iiwti, sir, m-f proiiirw *iou(mr, but I
believe it is 1 cry nrcly prodacuve of love.

Ser. Mighty wfll t

Char. Anti iti^ueh the lots of a leg cmu'i bi i^

puird to ftir Luke tJmu ms « fault

Srr. How!

Char. I hope, sir, at least yon will aBoo ii ■
misfortune?
Srr. [iideed !

t'Aor. A pre«y thin^ truly, fi>r a prt, ataiy
time of life, to be tied to K man i«in ow fool
it) the grave.

Srr. One fool in the gntre ! the mi of ha
t«ody ifl ttut a vhit ibc nt^irer for tfaaL TIrt
tins l>eeti only lu execution iaaucd ^a^asi fail
of tuti [icrMiiutl»: his rvml eataAe is tantteaakunA

and free hcside*. yuu we be doea oat mmd

i| a ntiit, but is as alert, and a« raerrv, ftsad^
I'ondatit after no»*4uiiitig a plaintiif for aaBltii|
an S.

Chtr. O, sir! I know bow proud sir IjA* m
•>f hi« ley, Riitl hare oflPo heard bm tkda*^
that he wouM nut chimee hia hit of taabarfia
the l)cM tle»h aiid Itunu iti i Ite kin^duan,
Srr. 'I'heiT's a hero for vf»u !
ikar. To be Mire, nt«iainine uruwoidaMr eidl
with cuiistaiicy, is a ceitaui sifa of fivaiMarf
mind.
S'r. Doulitlesa.

Char. Ht>t then to dt^rive a ratuty tfmt ai»
fortune, uillnot, I'm afraid, he admitted ■ I
VAKt inslnnrv of wiMhnti, and indeed IxuksMl
the man hud nothing better to diaiioniisb la^
self bv.
Srr.' How d'>es thai futlow?
Char. Bv inocndo.
Srr. .\ecatur.

Char. Ele^ides Mr. I hare ottier pronfs of t«»
hem's rati) ly, nul inferior la that i bare**
li4»iied.
Srr. Cite Ihcm.

Char. The paliry ambitioa of levybf «>tf fi^
ItminC titles.

Srr: Title*! 1 don't underM 1 .
Char. I mean (lie puti-rtv l i" I*''

In- upon nif-n uf diftinrtiim, ini im uiot r ma*
but l.ftcau*e of thrir n»nk ; adhrnn* to urJeto
fill fl'C t>iir"iiel is super^ded bv ni» liwd; ija*-
tint thr pimy peer fur an earl; aod SKhU^ll
thrrc to u duke.

*r Ketpmp good company ! ktabMlr»
biiinn !

Char. Trtjp. »ir, ff t\w s^ttnm rtrrt prvnti
the tatliiT n |;f<-rai:c rould with Aat be iriBiW
on the mn.

Sn. l!orc a nm?. btttsy * — ifcrw wr» «««
law* acnin^t vpcaknig evil of dtfiitries
Ch.k Sir !

Srr. Smndnlimi mn^ntnbi t» a sTtftffr ^
not l<e tnllr«t with ■ whv. rno are or* tm^
llio^e vuhtfir ^luts that think a mui tbewnsrlSr
I'Pine fl fijrd.'

Ch.tt \'(>. *.\r* t am cailtMt«d with nal^^
thiiii ' :'ic becttr.

FOOTE.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

5<7

I

I

I

I

I

I

»

t&r. For mil this, I bcliere, huuv, a riutit Un-
iKMirable prOfKMKl would sioo loAo yuiM ulter
your iDiod.

CAdr. Not uiileM tlic prupiMer Knrl other qua-
libfla than whoi he f)o»»e»»e*i by pattnt. Be-
Bd«9, (ir, ynu Lmiw sir Luke is a dcvoteo to tbr
bolllc.

Ser. Not R whit the IcH honvFt foe that.

Char. It (KTasioiift aiip rvtl at (cast; that when
wilder iti inilutMire, lie Keucrallr rcvcalkall, ftomi-
tifo>^ mnre (ban he knuMs,

.Ser. Pruoft uf aii open temper, vou baoraice !
huu come, CAme, all these arc but inlliiig ob-
jecti<>n&.

C^ar. You mean, air, ttwy prove the object a
trifle r

Ser, Whr, vou pert jade, do ]iou plajr on my
vonl»' [ »av kir Luke i»

Ci«r. NotMidv.

Srr. NobiKly ! hnw the deuce do vou niiike
thai out? He in ncithrr ncrvni ntliiiiitrd ur ctiu-
Iswed ; may, io any of riis inajcMy's courtji, sue
or he sued, appL-ar by uiiDntL-y, m in pmpria
pCTMoa : Cfin arqiiire, buy, proctirc, nurrhiiM*,
poMesa, on ) ititieril. not only perftonnlitiot, such
•t eiiodh and cluitielH, tttir eien rmlitii^t, an all
Iftitd^, tei»ein<'ni&, aitd hcrcdiiaioeDts, whattucrer
mufi « berewvrer.

C^ar Bui, «r

Str. Nav, lurther, child, he raav sell, eive, be-
stow, hequfiilh. device, dorni^c, lease, or to fiirni,
|«i, ditto lands, tu a»y pcrvju wltoms'cvcr —
»nrf

6*A«r. Without doiibt, sir; but there are, not-
vnlhatnndinK, in ttii^ lixm, a treat number of
Mo4>-Mlie*. not dcicrihed bv Lord Cuke.

Srr. Ilev?

C^r. There i* Koiir nett'door neighbour^ «ir
Uarrv lien, aa abtulMie Manic.

Srr. How Ml, VI n. Perr*

Ckar. tVhut. Rtrl n man who i« nm oiifTprpri
Co hei»r, we, smell, «ir. m *hF.rr. m Mt|riv the Tree
DW (>(' aiiv oue iif liM frnM'a; wh-i, iii^trtd nf
ha" me *t piMilivc <«ill of hi9 MWrii. n dcnit-d ovm
s paltry netfrtine; •*hn i-tn ncithfi- ri-*'lvf? >tr
re)>(y, cyin-^til or dcciy, wi*h'>ut tirM obtAiiitnc
Che leave of his Mv t an n'A ibK'' (Don.treh to
sink iiit-i ihp ^ncakiiiE Mare of l>eing a slave to
one «f his subject*— l.)h fye ?

Ser. Why, to be sure, sir [larry Hen is, ■• I

OMV «IV ^

C'Aar. Noliodv. sit, in ibe Tullett sciue of tlie
wonl — Tltro vour diem. Lord -S^lo.

.Ser. llevday ! Whv, vou «v<Hild not annthitatc
K peer of the retilin, with a |iriHlu.')(tii^ cstntf-,
■M Ml altowf d ,iudce, t(K^ of the elu|CHtit iitis ?

Chv. O yrn, sir, [ mil no stniiitcr tii ihat ihh
blemnn's oitribiiies; but then, sir. please to lun-
■ider. hi* pfiwer «* n pf*r he Kivp* np lo n pnnv ;
lite dirr<^imii of hi» r«ratc to a m|iariau«, arlfitl
Mt'iriiev • nirt, a* '•> his *VilI in the plppani art-.
couline them to paiiitii^ and rou-

MC. He a directed, in the iirtt, by MynKcer Van
'^1, a Dutch ia<iber ; and. in the ta>t, is bat
ilie echii uf SiRnorn Florenio, hi>» lunl^iip'f tni^
trewt, and au opera ■int'er.

Ser. Mercy upon us 1 ai what a rate the jnd*
runs !

CAar. In short, sir, I define erery Individual,
vtho, reavinK to net fur himself, beoonties the tool,
th« mere emiine, uf another tuaii's will, to be no-
thii»]{ more thiin a cypher.

Srr. .\x thif rnte the jade will half uiipenple
the world : but whjt is all this to str Lule t tq
him not one of your ease» «pply.

Char. Beery noft— sir Lake hat not a Rest
priiuipic in his whi>le composition; not only liis
ptessures, but ccen hit pai^^iDLts, are priiapttrd
by uchtffs; and he i^ as much diircted lo tha
ob|ecl» ol' hi*i lo^e and hift Inured, an ui liii^rMt*
uix, drinking, and stecptntf. \iiv, thoutcli be it
adive, and eleninlly bu>-y, yet lii!. own priviite
ulTain, arc nf^lvrietl; and lie would not tcniplo
to break ua appointment that was lo determine a
OMi^idi-rablv pari of lit^ prr>pertVi in order In tf%*
cbaiifie a crtMiple of bounds for a lord, or to ba^
H fiad-n*g for a Indv. In n word — but he'« at
baiwl. and will eipiain hicMetf best; I hear hit
stump uo the stairs.

Srr. t hnp*f you «ill pfe^crre a little decencj
befofL- your lorrr at knst i

Chmr. Lover .' ha, hu, ha !

Enter Sia Lute LiMr.

Sir iMke. Mr Serjeant, vour •itflre! — Ah f ara
voti tht-rr, mv little — O Ivrd ' Mi-v let mc IcH
vou fiineihiiiK for fc«r of foru«-tliiiit — Do tou
knitv ihnt yon are new-t hridtened, and haiv tisd
lot for a cin*i(i^

CAuc I'briMcned! T dim't understand vnu.

Nir Ijikr. Tbt-n lend iiie yiur car — VVbv. last
iiitht, as c«>l'»iiel Kill 'eoi, Mr VVilliHui Wet-iy,
lird l-rrdi rirk I'oreiop and I, wrre rNrrl<-<My
9li'liTi|f (lie Kuiiehi^h rnnnd, pii kiiie o'lr teeth,
tHer a dioitned tnuziy ftiortrr at (J'»«»dle''«, «*ho
•itMHiid trip bv but an alttH-M, well kiio^n nhiMit
town, with u smurt lillle nun in ber suit. S^va
Witvv 'i*fio,l)crwf en ounwb r^ i» (i« ho^y a* Iif il|
Who 14 thut ? oihl- fte^i »he\ a ileltrnie weiKbl
iCotmd^! cried Ion! Kre<lenck, »»lnrr •Tin Winy
(tH»e l«em, tfit (o have seen the Hiirrirtta I*-
I'oir^ fur you iiiu»t koow l-iclerx'k is 4 Ijii offt
^lm->rolll, and adotvs the soli Icalmn lerutiii»-
lion in a.

Oar. lie iloes?

.W, f.uAr. Ye% a ditletanli tiH m'er. OeftveF
rrplifd ^\ criv ; rn«h uip if i** cr I Mwaut thing
bull Ml hithdwoKM- iKfifrc ' — No! re('linl 1 in a%
iiuLiot: col'iiici. wtiot will WV*nv «ay when b*
•ft'K the Cbnrlofia^— Hev! you little-^ —

('liar. McjiiiiH! me, I pretntoe?

.^ir fjtkr. Wi'boiii d.Mibt ; and jm have bee*
tuastLtl bv

$29

BRITISH drama;

CFoOTI*

Ser. What a rist fund of spirits He has !

Sir Luke And why nin, my uld splitter of

Ser. I was juft telling Charlotte, that yoQ itbs
not n whit the vone for tJie lovi.

Sir Luke. The worec ! iDud) the better, my
dear. CotiMder. I can have neither »tniin, tpliiit,
spavin, or f;oui ; Uave no fear of corns, labes, or
tliat unuthcr mnn should kick my shtiu> or tread
OQ my toe».
Ser, Rj(;hi.

■Sir Luke. Whnt, d'ye tliinV I would climii;^ vntb
Bill Spindle frir oiie of hiH druin<>ticks;, or chop
with Lord Lumber for both of his logs?
Ser. So \

Sir Luke. No, damn it, 1 am much better —
Look there — Ua ! — Whul ii there [ am uot able
to do ! To be >ure I am » tittle aukword at run-
nin)( ; hiit Uien, to moke me amends, PU hop
with oity maa in town fur hia !>uni.
Ser, AV) ackd I'll go his halves.
Sir Luke. Tlteo a» to your dancinfr, I am cat
out at Madam Conielly's I i^rant, becuuse of the
crowd ; but ag far as a private set of mk eouplci
or moving a chair-minuet, match mr who can !

Char. A ctmir-minuet ! I don't uuderstajid
you.

Sir Luke. Why, child, nil grace is confined to
the mution of the head, arms, and chest, which
may, silling, be a^ fully displayed as if one had as
many Ic^h as a polypus — As tlms — tot do rol —
floo't you see ?
Ser. Vary plain.

Sir Luke. A leg ! n redundancy ! a mere no-
thing at all. Man is from nature nn extmvagant
creature. In my opinion, we mi>'ht all be full
u well as wc arc with but half Uie tliiiigs that
we have.

Char. Ay, sir Luke ? how do yoti prove iliat ?
S'r Luke. Br constant experience. — You must
have bccn the man who makes and uses pens
without hands }
Ser. I hare.

Sir Luke. And not a tirclremonth a^ne, I
lost my way in n f>tf,, at Milc-cnd, and ws& con-
ductea to my bouse in May-fair by n man as blind
ai a beetle.

Ser. Wonderful !

Sir Luke. And as to hearine and spealcing,
tiio<^R organs arc of no auuuiur of use in the
world.

Ser. How!

Sir Luke. If you doubt it, I nill introduce
you to a whole family, dumb 05 oyblcrs, ami deaf
as the dead, who ch»ticr from moniiii]; till nii^ht
b/ only the help of tticir 6nfBn.
Ser. Why, Charlotte, these are cases in point.
Sir Luke. Oh ! clear as a tmut-^trcaui; and
it is not only, my little ChftHotte, that tl)i5 piece
uf timber answers every purpu»c, but it has pro-
■ured me many a bit of fun io my lime.
Ar.Ajl

Sir Luke. Why, it was bat last taauDcr al
Tunbridge, we were pUf^iicd the whole
witli u bullirt-hcadcd Swiu from the
Eleme, who was always boastiqg what aoii
mudi he dared do; acd then, aa to pain, ao J
not Diogenes, held it amfc in contevpC. Br
gods, he vas ne more minds it daa lUHhingy al ail
— Su, furred, I garc my Grroaan a chaUenft.

Ser. Aa bow '^-JUndj Cbarlottc

Sir Jjike, Why, to drive a corkii>>fiin iolo the
cakes of our legs.

Ser. Well, well ?

Sir Luke. Mitte, you mav ima^ne, was tadf
done — but when it came to tbc boruD —

Srr. Ay, ay ?

Sir Luke. Uur modem Catosuon lastluBog|^
nes^ and course, screwed his oo«e op It^^H
furetop, nipped out a doceii oaths id Uiu EmH^
limped awuy to h» lodgings, and wumcK \M
up for a month — Ub« lia, m !

Enter a Servant^ and lUiivert m earrf t# Sn

Sir Luke. [Re^dt.}—' ^' Grcftory Goom if-
' sires tlic houuur of kir Luke Limp'f GsnfHf
' to dine. An answer is desucxL' GadaaJ a
tittle unlucky ; I have beva engaged for ifai*
three weeks,

Ser. Whnt. I find sir Gregory is retoiBed itf
tlte corporaiioQ of Flceautn.

Sir iMkt. Is ke M ? Oh bo !— That alttn Ha
case. — GeotKF, pve roy compliroents to nrCw
L;ory, and I'll certainly come and dine fbnc
Order Joe to run to alderman Inkle's in Thresh
ne<.-dle- street ; sorry can't wait upon lu% M
contiiied to bed two days with new mdiMna^

CA«ir. You make li^t, sir Luke, of iltcsc MCt^
cDiiugcments ?

Sir Luke. What can a mnn do ? Thrw riaaaw^
fellows (when «oc has the iniafunuoc to »«"!
them) take scandalous advantages — teaie — ^0
wilt you do me tbc honour, pray* air Uk^ to
lake a bit of aiuttun with roe f da yoa aaaadtf
dar — TUcy are ns bad as a beggar, wbo ailMi'
your coach at the mounting of a hill ; ibcre m m
getting rid of tlicru, without a penny to oatfl^
a promiw In t'ullwr.

Ser. True; and then for such a tiuM, U»-
tlu^e weeks ! 1 wundt-r ibcy eipect f«IU to t^
member. It is like a retaiucr in T>lii Iwlw
term fur the summer ateize».

Sir Luke. Not but upon these OMaiian»
man iu England is more punctual thaa—

Enter a Servaaf, wAo givet Ssa Lca£ a Jif-

From wliom?

Serr. Earl of Brcnford. The cenaal >«k
for an answer.

Sir Luke. Answer ! — By wor leave, Mr S^
jeaat and Cliarluue IRraJg,] * Ta»te fot w'

FOOTB-]

RUmSH DRAMA.

«I0

— HoQ». Doport—rui — Dinner upon tnble at

* five' — QoAsa ! I hnpc sir Gn*gurj'* servant in't

gpIM?

Sen. Irnmctli&tctr tipoo receivirig the answer.

•StV Lukr. Hull ufti-'i' liiut ILK Ih^i 9^ jmti <.-«n —
tell him, quilc in lit-apair— rtxrollLrt ait ctigiii;c-
tmrtit titut caii't ut uitLurc be laiaKtl — tuid return
in iin in»>taiic.

Cifir. You «cc, sir, iIm! kotght mu&t give vmy
for inv lurtl.

&> Luke, No, fniiht it is iw>t iliat, my d*':ir
ClHirV>tt«; you rsi^^ tliiit mud ifuitc an cxtfniiporc
'bRniieM.— Nu, liaiifi it, no, it is not fur tlie ti-
W; liuif to tcli juM tite irutli, Brentrurd has
■nope wit thsia Any inan in die world ; it is tlMit
rtinkeft me I'-tini uf U'* house.

CAar. By the rh<iirc of his CoiupnnT lie f,nv9
lui uruin«wcn*lilv tn^lnncc ol'thnl.

Sir Luke. Ynii r»re risht, my 'triir girl. Bui
now In Kivc ynii :i pnjot' i>r |i)~ wif. V»»u know
Urentt'iiril's Viitiiucc-« urc ft litlic itnt ■»' rc|t)tir,
which [irociirf-5 him nunc visits iliot he would
Tcnr KlBiily cx^'uw.

^r. VVItqt need he fear 7 llis fxradii is sa-
crcxi ; for, by the tenth of William and iSlnry —

Sir Luke, lit* kiiuws tlwt wc-ll cnutigh ; t>ut
for nil ilitit—

Ser. Indrcd, hy n Inie Rct nf hi« own l>ou«r,
(which il<>rs them intiiiiLc hunfiurj hii tfnoda or
chattel) inny Iw —

Sir Lt/kr. Sriicd upon, when tlicy cnn And
tticm ; but lie lit'L-% ill rendy-funiishca lotlgiiig^
and hiiCH hi5 c>>«cli by the itin«iih.

Ser. Nil', if tiic slivnfT return * oon inven>

* «o»'

r Sir Lvke. A pr.xo'yourlaw. yna mnkc tnc lose
pa ol' my »tnry ! One niuriiirig, n U'eMi cMicll-
hkcr cnine wii'i hta bill to my Inril, whnse name
WAS tiiitiickily L/>yd. My lord' had the mnn up.
Vi/fi nr*- i-jdled, I think, Sir [ijyd ? — At your htnl-
ship''»!M^rviLT, tny lord. — Whut ! l/iyd with im 1, ?
*— Ic wn-t with Mil L indeed, my lorrl. — Bccauw in
jroiir ruirt of tlio world, I hnrc hrnrd that Lnyd
HikI rliivri wcfp i-yniiiiyuioua, liic verv miih"
uaincs. — Vffy ofteu, indeed, my lord. — Ilut you
■Iwajfs WM.II yimr^ with uii L? — Always. — 'HHit,
Uf tjoya, 't% a httlr untnrky: for you mu«t know
f nm now pn\in:: my i1c)il« uliilntftitnlly, and in
fotir (V fi*^e yean ynii tiiiitht Imrt- rume in wiili
po F ; but I am nfruul I can give yuu no hnpcn
for jour L.— Hn, ha, li« !

Eater o SenntHf,

There wiw nn overtmVing the «(»rviint.
~Sir Luke, lliat if niiliKiy ! Toll my lord 1*11
Ktaod him. I'll nill on K\r i ire^ory mviclf.
Ser. Wliy, v'ln won't Irnrc »», lir Ijikc'
Ar Luke. I'Mfilnii, deur 'Vrjeant and Chnr-
Imte ! Unvf. n ihuuvnirl things to do t'-vr half a
IMilliuii o| |M.'iiple, iMi^itivrty : ixoiiiiM-'d to prn*
B vurc a hn^baud fur liuly Cicely fnilky, and mntch

B Vol. [II.

n condi-horsc for brigadier Whip; after tltoC
innM run into tltc city to borrow n thnusnnd Cue ,
youn^ At-nll at Alituck'ti ; tend a Cliesliira ,
chee^, by the Hfit;e. to sir Timolhjr Tankard in
SnfTolk ; and ^t, iit the lIrrnM'» iimce, a coat of ^
urm» In elrtp un Uto dNicli of Billv Itcngnl, a do-
bob iicwiy arrived : »o you see 1 liarc not a tno-
iiit'iit ID lose.

Set: True, Imp.

Sir Luke. At your toilet to-ioorrow, at ten,
you inay

Eater a trrtant ahruptttf* and runs against

(.'nii't yoa see where yoa are runtun^ jrou ra»* {
al ! I

Srrv. Sir, liis pfrarc, l!i« duke of—— !

Sir Litkr. Grace! where i& he? — Where —

Serp. In his coach at the door. If ynu an't *
Ucitvt eii^nt^ed, would be i:lad of )0ur company
tofo into the city, luid tukr a dinner nt Dolly'k

Sir Luke. In Un uwu coidi, did you suy?

Strr. Yes, sir.

Sir Luke, With the coronet*— or —

Srrt. I bcliei'i: wt.

Sir Lnke. Tliere's no resting of tlwL — lUd
Joe mil to »ir Urrgory (ioov't. i

Sen: lie is alrnulygonc tn alderman Inkle's.

Sir Luke. Tlwii do you Men to the kn'qtht-^
bey I — no — ynu must );<' to my lord'* — liold, bold,
n<»— I have it— .Step first to sir t-ireg's,. ttten pop |
in nt lord Brcutfcrd'^ juM as the company aro <
■iointj tddiiiiver —

Srtv. Wlut kliall I lay to Mr Orecory ?

Sir jAtke. .\iiy thing — what I told you before.

Stv. And Mlint to inv loi-d?

Sir Ijtke. What '—Why, tell bim. that mf j
uncle frotn f^Mim — do— that won't do, for ht
Loom 1 ijoii't care a farthine for bim — l»ty !— 1
Why, tcli liini — hold, I Imvc it. 'I'cll him, tbut,
n*> I wnt lEoing into my chair to ober hii coin* ]
mi«id^, 1 was arrested by n couple of bnililTs^ 1
Inrcfd into n backnry-<»aiii, and carried to tli0 j
l\ed Dull in the boroueb; I bci; ten ttKHuaod j

fnnluos for mukinft bis yjuce wait, but Ins crncQ I
nova mv mislor — • f Kut. j

CAwr. Well, sir, what d've think of the prcrifsf I
1 flniicr iny»clf 1 hara pretty welt cstubli^ted mf \
ca.'.c.

Ser. Why, ho8*v, yo« hnTc hit upon point* I '
hnl then tlicy arc but triflinc fltiw^ ttiey duu't
i-itiate l)w tille, ttiat stands untrapcacbed ; and-«
riut, mndain, your mother.

Enter Mrs Ciacutr.

Afrs Cir. What ha\ e you done with the kiM|^^|
— Why, you hnve not let him dc(>nrt ?

Cfrnr. It wa« not in my power to keep liim.

MitCir. I d<>n't wMidcr at ttiat; but what
to'A him atvay i

630

BKTTTSH DTTAMA.

CFOOTR,

CHar. HTiat nill at any drae take him away —
I * duke at t))c diiar.

Mn Cir. Are too certain of that ?

Serf. NVliy, iruly, cliuck, IiU retrcut was ralbcr
I precipitate for a man, that is joM going to be
I married.

Mri Cir. Til* prospect of niarrinee tlUM ool
aiwRy« prove llie stroii^eft auaclmieiiL

SrrJ. I'nrrtnn me, lorcc : the law altom no high-
er consitiprattnii tlian marna^

Stn Cir. Pftliuw !

Srrj. ItiM>miich. that if duke A vrns to inter-
marry witli ctimnbiTinHid U, didercnoe i>rcundi>
Don would prove no bar to tlic SL'ttlemcut.

iirt Cir. Indeed !

Siyj. Ay; and tlii» was held to be law by
chief baron fiiiKrciu. in the luiiious case u( thc
I marquis of Cully and Fanny FUp-ftnp, tbe Frencb
dancisr.

MriCir. The tjrcater biwkhead tbe baron: —
but don't pester mc with your odious Inw-oiscs.
Did tuA you tell me you tvn« to go to Kingston
to-day to try tlie crown cnusc»f

Serj. I uns begged In attend for fear bis lord-
ibip should not be able to sit; but, if it provca
iucontTuieul lo yuu

Mrt Ctr. To inc ! Olt, by no itirans in tlte
world; X am too f»ood u subject to dc^rc the
least delay in the law's execution. And when
d'ye set out ?

Srrj. Hcmeen rme and two. I shall only just
give a law Ict'lure to .lack.

Mrs Ctr. Lord ! I wonder, Mr Circuit, you
would breed that boy up to the bnr.

Sety. Wliy not, chuck? He hiu Gne steady
parts, and for bit time tnouis a point

Mrs Cir. Steady ! stupid, ymi nir«n ; nnlUiiig,
; sure, cnuld add to his liei\ni)c«i but tl>c liciitg
loftded with law. Why don't you put him mto
the army f

Srri. Nay, chuck, if you dioose it, I believe I
have interest to get .Inci^ a onnmi«sion.

Mr$ Cir. Why, Mr Circuit, ytmknow Iw is no
•on of nitne - perlmpf, a cockade may aiumocc
the lad will) some fire.

Srrj. True, lovee : and n knowliNirr of the law
mayn't in: amis-i to rctitrQin hid IJre u btOe.

Mrt Cir. I believe there is very tittle danger
of his csoreiling in tlwl wnv.

Scry. Charlotte, srud hither your brotlier.

[Exit CUAB.

Mr$ Cir. ni iMit interrupt ynii.

Srff. Far from ir, lovce ; 1 should be );lad to
have you a wirne« of Jai-ky's iniprorement.

Mrs Cir. \)t that 1 am no jud;^-; be^tidns I
am full of business lo.d«y — Tbcic is to be a
ballot nt nuc for the fMili^f Cfnb lately e«itnhti(»h-
ed, nml tady Hah Rfutn bai prop4>»ed me for n
meintwr. Pray, my dear, wtten will you let mo
hare that money to pny inv lord Lno ?

Srrj, The three hundred you mrnn?

Mrt Cir. And bc:itlc», tlicrc is my debt tu

Kitty Cribbase. I protest I almost blutb mket-
rvcr 1 nw<-t litem.

Srrj. Why really, bjvef, 'li* a largr wn ti
money. Now. \rcn> I worthy t» ihnMt in a luda
advice, we migbi make s pretty good hand of
this busitic6<>.

Mrt Cir. I don't anderstRm) yoti.

Sfri. Lirin^ iin action against them oa the Sl^
inic m tbe nnme ol' luy clerk ; and so not oo^
rescue the debt from their hands, but fecawr
hkewiHc considerable damavp^.

Mrs Cir, A pretty coiirt.-tt, Mr Serjeant t
docs it nrtt occur to )Our wisdom, that
have (by the help of csiptuin Di^g) been of
n winner than loser, tlie tabki may he
upon us?

akri. No, no, chuck, that did not escape idc —
t liat e pro^ iilcd for I bat. Do you know, by tfar
law. b^ith narlirsare eqiinKy rul^nble: u thu.
loi-ee, ne ^hall be able to tloeCL' yuur frianiU:
only of what thr-y liavc won of poor dearre,'
likrwiw for whiit tliey bn^e lost.

Mn Cir. Why. what a paltry, peilir<}cit>ii$
puppy nrt thou ! And could you 'i^uppove that t
wotild submit ti> the saUKlalnus .efface ^

SciJ. Srandalous ! I don't nnilentand tbit
strange pcrtcruon of word^ I'hc *€auAji bes
m brc:il;iii^ the lttw<t^ nut in bnngiug the aSat-
ders to justjoe.

Mn Ctr. Mean-spirited wreidi f What, ii
you ftiip|mve lb.it tliow laws cnuld be le^w-lkda*
(Cain*t )»eople of llicic bich rank and conditio*'
Can it lie ihoochl tlint any -set of men w«U
submit to tc:rn| restraints on thouisitses' Aburi
iind prepi litem u*i !

Say. Why, by their publtr practice, my bn,
<inr would MOpect tbnt they thought tbeoaatlfD
esreptetl by n parlinilar clnOie.

Mm Cir. Uh, to be sure ! niA the Jnst (Mr
can l<e mndr.

ikrj. Truo, chuck But, then, yner pnt

friends slciuld ncrer complain of h^way«<^
stiippin^ ihrir coaches, or tJiirvc* brrikiiC iflU
their hotwi.

Mrt Cir. Why. what has that to do«i^ de
husincM?

Strf. Oil, the imliinil oon»cauei)rr. Itww; (»■
whilst rl»e superiors are throwing nwav r'
tunc*, and cmiM-qucntly tbeir indrpri:.
boie — you rnii't tlnnk but dieir aDaK^-«i >"
fotlrtiviui! ilieir eiumpJes beluw.

ilfri Cir. Well, und what thcof

Scrj. Then ! thr same disttcsa thai *■•
ihe mailer niid mistress into the prvim nf ■)
wbn nrr willing to purchase them, hv a >*^
hir gnidiition reduces the servaiKs to arliA
thot>fth more eritiaU, perhaps ooi aiort »»
clou*.

Mrs Cir. Pshaw! stuff' I haie no ai«l o
exnniinc your dirty distinctions — Doo'l tMW*
with y<mr jargon — I have told rooditw^'
shiUl want, m take care they are ready ^ J^

FOOTE.]

BRITrSH DRAMA.

»n

Ktuming from Kinplon. Nnjr, don't bcMlate ;
recollect your own Mate of ihe caw, Bud tv-
mcnib«r niv honour n in pawn, unil must mkdc
^ay or oiIkt be redeemed by thu end nf tlic
MTcek. \Knt.

Serf. [.Will.] My hnnniir !» in p.awn * tiomi
lord ! how n cviiLury mil allrr lUt* inruaiiti* nf
wards! Furmerlv* c^attitp vas tlic hoit'>ur of
wonicn, nnd pixui J'luth ncid tntrgrity tbc liiHiotir
4>f mcti : but nua; a lud^ who ruins her I'anuly

by pimctDolly paytn|[ lirr loMn at piny, nnd a
Ktfutlcmau Trho kill<t hi» Irc^ tVtcdd in tctne tn-
(linfi rHvoloii^ qiiirrri, »rc your wily tip-lou pec^
pic of huMoar. \\\-\\, k-t iticin go oti, It bruin
et'ivl U) nur mill ; (ur whilst bi)il) the flctes aikc
lirm In tliLir hoanur, wr thai! mnrer want htmi i
ncfi« cither at l>uciur's Cuiniuoni or the Old Rai-
ley.

[Exit,

ACT n.

I
I

I

I

SCENE I.

£n^rr SEnjF.A.% i Ciiclit, and Jack.

Serj. Jack, let Will bring ihe ctraise to the

Juck. Mr Fnirplny, &ir, the attorney, bcgi to
speak a few wnrtK '

Strj. IIow often have I tnid you, that I will
sec none of tliew sort of folk* bur iit crhnuibcr*.'
yo« know how niijTy vour luollier w at (Iwir nip-
inc. nnd liitenii}; llic )iimM>.

Jvck, tie says, sir, Itn will not detain you five
.aiiauies.

£frj. Well, bid Iitin walk to.

Rnttr FAtBPi.*v.

Welt, Mr Fnirplny, »hat% your will?

JVw. 1 ju« ralli'd, Mr S.'rjeaiii. lo know yoiir
opinion upon tlit; cose of young Wuixlr'urd, qikI
if Tr>n like die proposal nf beins; mnccnied.

Serj. If it tiirn^otit n<i you state it, and that
f l»e father of Uk: loil wa« really a minor, the Va'
acx estate mny, without doubt, be recovered, and
an may th« laHds in ilic XortU.

foir. We liavc full pnxjfi to thai fnct.

Sei^. May be so; but rcnllvi Mr I'liirplnv,
vou know llic Icu^ili of tiinc that these kind of

J«ir. True, sir, but then your experience will
aliortcn, I upprch

ScrJ. 11ijl'» luun-- thitn I know ; and. llicn, not
OdIjt my Ice* lyiiij; doiinjiiit, hut, perlmp*, un cx-
poctatMMi uf iiioiiL-y ndvanci-d.

Fair. Tlic prupcfty, sir, is of very great value.
■od, upon the recovery, any ncknowledgcment
aball Imt readily lanAf.

Serf, There ngoiii, any \ do you know, that in
law, the word any has no meanin|! at nil? —
iMsides, ivbtui j>cnpk> are In distress, th«y arc In-
rish enougb ofllieirolfcrs; but uhen tbi-ir buai-
IWM is doue, then wc have nothtnfr but grum-
Utnc wkI ^mdeiiiK.

Jiar. \o« have only to dt<nate four terias.

Serf- Hoes the tnd live in town f

Fair Ue has been uiidrr my care since tlic

til of bis futlier. ] have (irea hiin us good \ con'i hit a precedent.

|cducatJon nt my narrow fortnne Troold let me.
lie is now htudytn;; the law in the Temple, m
liopoa* tliat, »liuuld be fail of oilier assiMtince, he
may bo able one day to do biuiM-lf juMice.

Arrf, In the Temple?

Fair. Ycft, sir, in those little chambers just
over your head— -1 fancy the young gentleman
knoMk bitu.

Jack. Wliof Mr Woodford ?, Lord. OS well u
my«rlf ! I le i<4 n sweet, sober youth, and wdl uim
day make a vast figure, I am sure.

Strj. Indeed !

Jack. 1 nm positive, wr, if you were to hear
him ftp4*nk at the Kobiuhotxl in the Bulclier-nnr^
you Would sav so yourMrlf. Why, he is now
reckuncd tl>c tliird. Except the breeche*-maker
iVoin liirhicnn, mid Sawney Sinclair, the situiT-
inuu, ilirre is nut a mortal can touch him.

Srn. Peace, puppy ! Well, ^Ir Vairplay. leate
ilic pB|>cn n little linigcr with me, una — — pmy,
who is employed ae^iiiU you?

Fcir. A cily Milornev, cue Shcepskia

Srti. A ainiiiii!* fethiw ; I kiiniv him. Well,
sir, if* you will call at 1'ump-court ui a week —

Fotr. 1 sIidU attend you.

Si-Tj. Jick, open the dmw for Mr \ExniHt
Faikplav an/l Jack.] fwiaethtug mny be made
of this mntier. I'll see this Shcep^kiM myMlf. —
So much in future fur carrying on tlH^ ftuit, or m
rnucrh in hand to mnko it miKrtifry. A wise tiuut
should welt neigh nbidi party to take fur.

£/i/cr Jack.

S<i, Jack, any Imdv at cbaiuben to-day ?

Jnck. Fieri racias from Fctter-lnoe, nhoot tlwn
hill to be filed by Kit Crape against Will A'turd
this term.

Setj. Frayii^ for an equal partitioo of plun-
der ?

Jack. Yes, sir.

Serj. Stnun»e world we live in, that even hieh-
waymen can't be true lo each otlier! [fM/
utide tu himtfl/A But we bhall niAka mftster V^ii-
ard refund ; we U show him w hat long hands the
law hns.

Jack. Facias nya, that, ia all the booksj hm

I

6St

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Fc

SfTJ. Thru T\\ nuke one royKir-, avi incmi-

> «fll •nf^/acmin, hu been aUaj^s mv tnotln. Ilic

^ clnrge nitui be madr. for pftrtncr^liip pnifit, l>_v

' bafterinf lead ind ^uri-p<>"ilcr a^uinsi mnaiy,

wmtAe*, and riugi, on £(t|MD);-rorrnt, livuusluw-

lic&th. utiduliicr parts nf ihf: kincdnm.

Juck. He %»;*,, if ibc court bliooltl «^ scent of
the fchcmCf tlic parties would all stand coiDmi&-
tej.

Scrj. Cowardly mical ! but, however, the
caution mayn't prove afniss. [^ijiyr.] I'll Dot |tut
my uwn nnmt; to the hilL

JwL The ()<--cLiraiiuu, too, is delivered in the
Cftuse of Roger lUpp'em n^DM »lr SolomoD
Simple.

Saj. V/hntf tlie affiiir o( the note i
Jack. Y«.

Srrj, Why, tie is clear that bis client nri'er
gave Mich n note.

Jack. DclriKjunt never saw plniniifT since ilte
hour be was born; but, nutuiibsliimliiiu, t\wy
have three wUik-^m^ to prove a cotiMtkrsUuu
and sigtiin*; ilio note.

JScrJ. They bote ?

Jack. Hf U punled irluit plea to ptit in.

Sffj. Ilirec » itnesscs rcmiy, yiu say ?

Jock. Yes.

Serf. Tell him, Simple must arkonu-kdue the
IKttc.' [.liCk itartt.] and bid hiin, ugaimt the
trial coinc^ on, lo ppi'^iirr t'liir pcrsoiu at Icaat
to prn%c titc iwivmciit at the Crown aiid Anchor,
the lOili of l)f:ct^mbcr.

Jack, Iluti iticn, buw roraca tbc oolc to re-
main iu ul(untiil% po»6e*sion^

Sfrj. Well put. Jack ! but wc have n vilvo
for ihut ; plaimidT happened not to bavt tItc »'>(<-
in Ills pfjcket, but pmini^d to deliver it up when
called tlieri!un(o by defeiKlanL '

Jack. Thai wiU d'> mrely.

SerJ. l«l tbc ilefenct he a secret ; for I we
wo have ablii petiple to deal with. But ctiiiie,
child, not to lotic tiiito, have you carefully cun-
ucd tboM* instructions I gave you?

J»cL Yi:s, Mr.

'Sffj. Well, that we sliall iec. \lovr nwny
points are the i^rcut object ut' prutice?

Jack. TvTo.

SerJ. Which arc they?

Jut A. llic IJr^t is tu put a man into poascsbion
of whitt ih his ri^bi.

SfTf. The second ?

Jack. Either to deprive a man of what a real-
ly his rij*lu, or to keep bim as long »b poMitlc
out of possession.

Sfrj, Good boy ! To piiti the Inst end, wbat
are tite beot meanh to l>c uicd ?

Jack. Vtirious and many arc tbc legiil modes
of delay.

Sfri. Niime them !

Jack. Injunctions demnrrrni, sham-plc&s,
vritaof criWi rcjomdcr^ &ur-rrjoindi.-rs, rebut-

ters sur-rrboltcr«, replicaiictts
H>ri;R>, ni)il int(<nrlnnrr.

Strj. [fu tiiit.tcJf'.] Fine in«crvBm«« is *bi

bands nf a nian wb'n kofms bow to oar tboiV—
But wiw, Jai-k, wc toinr tu (Ik' p<nuC: U mm.^
bie advocate luis bis riioHi: in a OHSse fwhidi if
he is m rcputaium he muy rcwlUy bMr'v iiiiA
side should lie t-]i4Mr>r, thi- rif^lit or the wrmi^f

Jack, A itreiti lawvLr's bmineu ia ahnM li
Buikc cboirti of the i^njn^.
Seri. And pritbec, why *o f
Jurk, Uc-cau*c u :;on4l caute can Sftak
*cir, whiUt a bad oul' dcmanils an OHe n
tor tu give It a coluur.

StrJ. Very vrcll. Hut in what rgpecti wH
this answer to the Umvci- biaci*«lf ?

Jack. Inn twofold miiv. l-ir>l. ba f ect mi
be lai^e, in proportion to tbc dirtv tturk be
do.

Serf. Sccoudly?
Jack. Ills rrputatioa will rise, b]rafaiBUUii|Af
victiiry in a di-spunite miiBC

Srrj. Kiuht, boy! Arc you ready ia tbeoM
of the cow 9

Jaek. Pretty well, 1 bclicire.
Srri. liitt It, iben.

Jnfk. Kirrt of April. ano>> ■ 'i IdiwM

and l)lniik,Jobn a N'mtkts ^^ ' b«blif*.

licfuTL- blank, id the county "t ' . . -..r ileibt(

a cow, cnulm pnfcin, t-li«i i nijjiiifil lW

fttntnic in that case protldcd .w..l ....ulc, to ff*-
vcni i^irnlitic of rallle,
Sftj, do tiO.

Jiu'k. Said Nookefwws convicted upOBtlKMid
statute.

Stri. What followed upon f
Jnck, Motion in nrrot ui jndemmt aai> V
rj)iin«ellur I'uzzlr. Fintt. txiirnuM' rhe £eU fa*
wlioiH-r the cow wascoii«c\c^ is laidmt^*'
dictToi-iii H« routid, but turned uur, o}Mm jfui
to be M|uarv.

Strj. 1 hat's ncll: n valid f*bj«ctio«.
Jack. Serundly, liccuuse, iu Mud in&ctwak
tlie tnhHir of ihc cow th cnlicd i ■' ;- '--
no such thiiict, in rcruni iiuiuin.
more tbuii hlnck Iwns, sprctul c:^.*.^^ ..j—, r-
fiii^ or blue bt>ara.
Scrj. Well put

Jack. Tbirdiv, ^»id XoaUes has not tMnit^
a4:uiiu>l form of die statute ; becaose stnl>^ <*
cattle is ihere provided agmnsi : «ibcms*c«t
only conv irlcd of Mrnlin^ u ouw. \o*, tWa^
cutlli.' muy be cow>, yi>t it ilncs by no mraoiir
low that c'Jivs must be cattle.

ScTJ. Bravo. bra«o! Iki«» mv, youtntw;**
are your father's own son ) (tu uu and pni^tf- '
I nm wrrv, dear Jack, I < ■If

Providence but wtids thcc I ■ ■*

phccy lliou wdt wrT'^t ks loui u .uim i ~~ '^
owners, and »ove as it^nny ibicvrs frwa dw e^
lows, IU nny practuiouu witcv ibe dviv <^ Uf
.\Jfred.

FOOTE.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

5S5

I

I

I

Jack. I'll do my cndeATour. \Rrit Sciuc&xt.]
So ! faiher is K( oft Now, \( 1 cnn hut Iny cvrs
on our CItarlouc, juat to <icliver this kiicr, l(e<
fore nukdAm a>tiicft tiomc. Thtrre she is ! Ili^
muttT Charlotte !

Etttfr CaAHLOTTE.

CMar. Wlmi have you got there, .Inck i

Jack. Soiuething l"or you, »ulcr.

Our, Fur mo ! Pritheo what is it?

Jack. A thing.

Oar. VVhat thing?

Jack. A thing llint will pIcAM you, Tm Mire.

Char. Conic, don't be a bfijr, let nie hare it.
[Jack c'"<^* tfi^ letter.] How'* tlus ! a Jcttcr !
from whom?

Juck. Citii't you gucw }

Char. Nuc I ; I duii't know ihc hRrvd.

Jack. May be nut; but you know the indlter.

Chnr. 'I'hrn lell mc his name.

Jack. lUcak open the H^at, nod tou'II linil it.

Char. [Opcnivg the tetttr.] - ChnTlt•^ Wood-
furd ^~l Hin fturc I kmiw nottiing of him.

Jack .Vv, but, M^ter, ynu do.

Char. How ! when, nnd whore f

Jttck. i>itn't you remember nhout three weeks
ago, when yini diniik tea itt our chaiutic-rs then-
ans a youns )>oiitlcintm in a blue tnttin waist-
coatt who wurc his own head of hur?

Char. Well t

Jack. That letter's from be.

C-hiir. What cnn be his buMHCi* with mc ?

Jmk. Uuui that, and yuu'll ki)Ow.

Char, [fteoi/^] ' WikU wurda to npi>lot;iic —

* bam, hum — very first moment I Naw you— huui,

* hum sirMrthorcd Inng in my lireast — hum,

• hum— Inppie&t, or clwi the miwt wretchcil. of

• inea'— So, sir, y*>u have uiidcrtakcaa iirctty
cattuniBiioB ! and what do you think my fattwr
mUI

Jack. Why, I hope you won't go for to tell
htin?

Char. Indeed, sir, but I thull.

Jack. No, sifter, I'm sure yoti won't be so
cntu. iV'iiilfs, wliat cmid I do ? The poir
Toutie lad bc^L-d nu hard ; and ihcrr, lur this
fortnight, he has gone about Mghiug, ntid rauiiiie,
^d tunpiii|{: 1 atn ntisBcd it would melt yuu
(o »cr him. I>), >iisLer, l«t idc bring him this
CTcniny:, now I'lithcr is out.

Char. I [ton my word ! — The younit man hn*

idi.* nu ImuI choice of an a;:eflt - ym are for
ling inaners at ooce. — But, harkee, air, who

the eparic you are tn anxious about ? and how
fboK hartt yuu known himf

Jark. ( >h ! u (jrt>di|£iau9 tone while ; aborc ■
■lutith, I am certain. Don't you iJiiidi him
ttiiehty i;cnutl? I a»auro yon W is \Tistly hkcd
by the ludie*.
' Chur. Me is!

ik'A. Yes, indeed. Mn Congo, at tl>c Grcci-

I

I madt

■n coAee-bousp, nys fae'9 iho aobcrest youth that
cumcs to the house ; and all Mrs Mitten»'s 'prcn-
tion throw dnwii tlicir work, atid run ti> ibo
window every iimo ho p>f^ by.

Char. Tpoii my word !

Jack. And niurcover, buudes thul, he hu
several |(n»t estnies in tho country ; but only,
for (lie present, he i« kept out uf them nil by the
owneri.

Char. Ah ! Jack, that's the worst port of the
story.

JurJr. I'shaw ! thal'i pothir^ nt iill. Ilis
RuardiiMi, Mr Kairplay, lias hem wiih father to-
<lay, niKl *ays he is certain that he cin wt all to
rights in a trice.

Oar. Well, Jai-k, when that point is deter-
miiKd, it v«tll be tmtc rnoitgh to

Jack. 1'Ik-ji, Liffd of iiwrcy ! why. Mslcr Char-
luUi-, iL i» luy privatL- u|iiiiiun, tbnt if you don't
!:ivf liiin tK)me crumbs of comfort, he won't live
1:11 iMid^ummer trrm.

Char. I Miirraut you. Either Cupid's dnits
were always Imii meticnl eneines, or they have
bct-n lately drpiivtd of thetr iioiitt^ l^rvtt
holds no place m the modern bills of mnrt*>
Itty. However, Jack, ynu may tell ymr friend
tliat I have observed hi5 fnquctil walks in our
street.

Jack. Walks! Why, one should think he w««
nppninted to relievo I'lic old wntchmun; for no
sooiH-r one li oSi but the mljtr come* on.

Char. And that fruiu hrs eyes tietnft constant-
ly fixed on my nindow (fi>r the information of
which 1 presume he i^ indcbtirtl tn yuu)—

Jack, lie, lie. he !

Char. 1 had n pretty shrewd i;uc»s at hisbiisi-
nc»s; hut tell liim, that anUiM my fn — lIuOi!
nur tymiit u returned. l>oii't leave the Iwmim
till I see you.

Enter Mas Cincvtr and Bettt.

Mrt Cir. So, sir, what makes yim loitering
from chambers f — I thiMi};ht I uild you. you
should never be lure but ut meals ? [Ejil Jack.]
(hie spy is eniju;;h m u riintitv. — Mito, vuu mny
go tii your ruum; mid, d'ye Iwarr — I shitlt luive
company, so you n*:cd uut come down. tEtit
CuAitLuiit'.] — Betty, no maaagp or letter?

Bet. None, iiiiidum.

Mrt Cir. That is amazing ! — You know I
expect colotKl Secret and Mrs Simper every in-
.stnnt.

Bet. Yes, madam.

jtfrs Cir. i'ut the fruit and the wine on the
table in the next room.

Bft. Very well, nmrlam.

Atn Cir. .\iid, Betty, order tlw fellow to Icf
ikulxxly in hut ^ir l^ikc.

Bet. Madam, 1 «hall take care. [Rrit,

Mrt Cir. \S4t» (ftwi-it.] TIm; bnllut murt be
oTur by this time. Sure there is notliiu^ 10

534

BRITISH DRAMA.

tFoOTt.

dresdrul as a «utc or9U9f>ence : but should ihcv
block-ball inc ! — \o, ttiert's no dangrr of (hm:
Miss Mattadorc ha* insured mc succi-iv — Well,
tliia is certainly uiic ot' ilie must uM-lul iiittitu-
rions; il p«»9tutely supplies llic only iwmt nf
Uinc our uoe» not kiiu>v Hum- tu eiii|il'>v. rrom
twelve, tlic honr o( one's rtsiot:, to dinner, is a
nio^t horrible cliuin : for thoucli ica^inu tlic
tncrccr^ am) riiilliu('r<>, by (iin>l>1iii<: llioir mores
is iMiw nnd then »n eiiitrinmiiti; BCiiusement, yet.
upon repttititin, it palU — But cwry muniHiE
lo be iure of a (jarly, uiid ilivu u^u at iliglit,
after n root, to have « place to retire to; to
be quite freed fmni ail pnin of pruvttbng: u»t
to bt jjcitcred nt table with the odiout company
of client* and Ciiuotrv cnubin* ; fori aio delcr-
inincd t'l ilmc mid i>ii|> at that club every day-
I can tell tlicm tiicy'U have but rcrj few forfeits
from me.

Enter Betty, in haUe, tcilh a Utter.

Bft. By aclmimian, niaduin, from the Thntclied
House.

MnCir. Give it me, Betty, this irwnoi! —
Ay — this 19 MattadureN hHtid. [ttprai, and read^
the letter.] ' My dtiir Circuit — it is »iOi the ul-

* most concern and confunr>n I luid myself obli-
' (!cd to ue(|uaiiii y^o, that, nutwith^litodiiic all

* the pi\lns I have taken, tbeclub have thought fit
' to reject'— Oh ! [SAcJmnls.

Hfl. Ble** my soul ! my lady is gone I — John !
Will! Kittj! run hither llus instnnt!

Enter two Maidt, and a man Mcrvant.

AU. What, what'ft tlie matter?

Bet. Quirk ! quick ! some hnrt^hom aiid wa-
ter. [i*(i/a hrr httntt.] iMadiini \ tiiiui;iin

Sere. Here, here, here! [Bnitmnf: uuier.

Set. John, |;o for the potter-currier this iii-
tUtit — 1 believes to tuy ^u\ she ie dead — Kiltv.
fetch some fenthcrs to burn under her note. —
Ttierej stand furtjier olT, and give Iier &onic air —

pilfer Sib Lcke.

Sir Luke. Uey day! what the deuce u ihc
matter? Whai'ii the uMamng of oil this, Mrs
betty?

JBf ^ Oh, sir, i« it you ? — my poor lady ! [Crtcj.]
Clap the bottle hard to her nose.

Sir Luke. But how come it attoat?

Brt. Some of the cooliacnts of ihat cui->cd
ktter she hn» there in her hand.

Sir Luke, licie, here, tako dunic of my can de
luce. [Offering a bottle.

Bet. Thrrn .' she rerorers a little — »)inc n*a-
ter — I believe it i* nolliinf; but a salirical tit ; I
liAVc had them mywif— Now she opcnt bcr CTe>
—so, so — bend lier foi-ward a little.

Sir Luke, ifij iw^t Mn Circuit!

Mrs Ci>. WIk) 19 that !

Brt. Nobodv at alL mttdam. bat odIi m
Luke.

Mn Cir. Oh, »r (^ke, sucti a strake,
til, Ml viddea ! il ik not in natare I afaooMl
Mlr^ive it.

Sir Luke. Marry, Hearen forbid! Botwkc
cantc — »hul Cituid

Atrt (jr. Leave the roftm. [To tkt lanmtt,
uhn «u nut.\ Only li»ok over lliat letter.

Sir Luke. Hum. boiu — [^Re/ui*.j ' fit to rrjcis

* yi^u' — (his

Met Ctr. Tliere, t]»ere, Oierc !

Sir Luke. 1 own this it t\w utmost Tnalicc«f
fortune — liut let me linisb the letter. — < Ihtio-
' luiiiitY, dear ('ircuit, is uf such a oaioie ■

* bafHc> utl ndvKC or iiitcrpuMtiou of friemb: 1

* fhall llictL-fute leave you lo time mid rout on

* ^o(hI uiiflcrstaudiufE.* — l*rctty uud wit^Uc^

' S'ours, \c' Biit let Ufi M-c, what laysibe

postscript f \ t{ead$.] ' rcrliap* it may pit jm

* tome lontfort to kmiw, tlutt you had aUtccflll-

* monds, and but two rai>iiis ngainu yoc'

Jilrt Ctr. Out two !

Sir hake. N " more.

Met Ctr. This luust be Kitty Cnbb«f!e*»dail(;
»)ie has been tattling about tbc paltry tnife law
l»er.

Sir Luke. Not unlikely: hut cnn»e^ bnrift
my dear madum. and consider, tint twi^

jVn Cir. lb a» hud a^ two ibixisaiKl.

Sir jMke. (•raiili-d; hot tH^rha^ts it mn 9*
he too late to repair. (iaiiMt \ I hare IkM^
of a sriicme — f'll be elected myself, md iktll
wtu'mtit wc niannj^c

itia Cir. Vnu, tir Ltikc ? that nncr en W.

Sir Luke. No, lUfulnin; anil whv ool?— '^V-
yon doit't !iupp<iiie that tJiey MOold vvnturTlk—

il/r> (Vr. it ivonid Hot ciidy be i^MMt tW
Spirit, but (he very leiuv of lb<ur coooiCKtM^ii
ch<K»>-c von a member.

Sir Luke. Ay. UMtdiMn, how «u !

Mrt Cir. Tbiir Matutcift arc telccted ftniiil
the codc« ili:it ever evisletl from tJic days of If'
cuntu» to the pre£ent CxariiM.

Sir Luke. Wi-ll.

Mrs Cir. I he law Uiat rclntes to ynar CMI
they ba^c borrowed lYoin eIm- lU-inao nbgn*

Sir L'lke. As how ?

Mrs Ctr. As no mou cao br adraiiied a mak,
who htf. ilic Ifnst corpiirtal »p«>i r>r dcfecli x^*
candidate can he recci«t:d ta a mi-mber, «^»
depriied ol' tin- uv of any noc uX tiis liiabk

Sir iMke. Ndy, thcti. indeed. I am cJearijiB
out ; tluii iucipacitT ma never lir cot o%er.

A/r> (V. 1 udteil, the wr)eani tavN if iIm dik
cnuid be indncid to resolve in your timiv, te
the tiricmid Inu would si|2ntfv nucluoc-

Sir Lukr. UrM, well, uc'll so'- "'i-«' ■-" ^
done. [A Icmd knocking.] But. I
pnny's come; collect yourself, -
cult ; duu'i (ivo jrour cnemic* tUe tsalioati fi^

Foot E.J

BRITISH DRAMA.

M$

I
I

tare of seeing how this diiappointmcnt nBccts
you.

Jifn Cir. Never fear; I know n little too murh
of the ivorUl not to turn this defeat to m; credit.

Unlrr CotoxcL SECRET and Mn? SiuPKR.

Mr* Sim. Your vrrnnt. Mr Luke. My dear
Cimiit, I am frii^titrnc-d tu deatli — ytiar (icopli-
tell mcjrou are but ju3t recuvcretl frunt a ■

Jfrf Cir, Oh *. riolhiiig at all ! n rHiiiliiess, a
kind iif ftwimmiite — hut tlw»c jieople are ever
•welling mol^liilU lo tnotiniaiiis.

3Sr* Sim. I protefti I was ufniid thnt voit had
anflirrcd voar late d]sn|>f)innunflnt to lay lirjid of
yoor spirits f

MrM Vir. Wliat Hi«ipp<iintnit>iit, my dear *

Coi. Mrs Simper hint« nt Htc little misfaLc
made thin morninc «t thcIlmtcKcHl Koiisc.

Mrt Cir. TImt ! riditiiloiia '. I could hnvc told

you that a fortJiieht ego, child all my own

doing,

Mn Sim. How !

.Sir Ijtkc. Kulirelr.

Hfn Cir. Oh ! I nlwaT^ detected tlic thoughts
of the tiling — 'Ihey w<iiiUt put mo np; let mo say
what [ would, so I wit!) reduced to the nrcestitj
of prcrailing upon two of my frieodb tu black-
ball mc.

Mtri Sim. Thnt, indeed, nliert the nise.

Co/. I am vBMly hnppy to brar it; your old
•Cntiaioi^nres wttc afmid thev should lo^e you.

Jlfrj Cir. It I* a weo t'lcy know but little of
tne — But come, my p'lod folks, 1 have prepnred
A Mnnll collation in tlte next roooi; will vou —

(K-rtunt.

£j|(cr Jack and Woonronn.

A. ni watch, Mster, to see (hat nobody
cvnnes- \nw, Wo«Mifonl, make pood nw of yo'ir
titnc. [Kxtt VVooDFonn.] There, I hate left
chcTO t»t!etlier; if I had staid, I don't believe
tbej wuuld have opened liieir mnuih* for a
iBMHith : I never taw such nn nltenilion in a lad
aince the dny I nas born. Why. if 1 had not
knou'u him iM'fure, I stuuild urit have ihou^bt he
liad a nitrd tu throw to a dog; but I remember
the old proverb.

True lovers are shv,
When people are by.

ni take A peep to «ee how they ffi on :— There
they nre, ju^t in titc mmv pf>«turc I IcA them ;
•he foMinc; Iter fin^rs atitl tie twirlinc his hat
Why, they don't even lool nt each other. Was

there ever wch a couple t»f -Stay, stay, now

he opens his ntnMlh — ^iwhnw ! LonI ! there lie
■huts it nj^in — hush ! 1 hear snntelMKty romiuK —
-nnihinc nt alt : — Molher i» wife I am sure,

[ Chrre t* no diiuscr from her Ni»w let us lake

^aihcr~—[I'etpM at tAe tiow.] Hum !— gadw,

tnatters are tnieHtily mended Tliefc, there !

rerv well — there he lay* duwn the law — Now lid
claps hi.i hand on ht« hrnrt — vastly pretty, I vtnv
— ihcre he swops with bgth his Itiicres on iho
ground — ('hnnnnig ! — \nd squeeaes \n\ hut with
both liands like one of tVe actors— ilt^lcUiful !
She wants him to rise* and be won't — IVodi^iooa
moving) indeed !

Enter Bettt,

Ret. .So, sir. what nre yoa doing there }

Jark. There ! where ?

Bft. With your eyes slowed dose to the ke^
hole.

Jack. 1 wanted to speak ■ word tn my sister.

Bft. Tlirn why doo^ yuu nnen bcr d«M»r ?

Jaek. I did not know but soc might be saying
Iter pravers. ^

}1el. Prayers ! a likely stonr ! Who says their J
priivcrs at this luuc of the day ! No, uo ; tliat
<>vuu't pass upon nie. Let mc look — V'erv pretiv !
So, fu, I fCf. there's somebody else at bis praven

(O'l- fmc dnioKs ! As soon us die company

goes, I blinll take care to inform madam yrmr
mother.

Jaek. Nnr, Init Mrs Betty, rou won't be vk

Ikt. lodrled, Mr John, biit'l •>hall — ill tiral-
low none of your secret!^ believe mc.

Jmfk. What, perhaps your stomach is OTcr-
loaded already }

ikt. No matter for thnt, X shall be even with
mils for telling muter about and cuncenuug tuf
dnnns.

Jack. VVhv, Mrs Betty, surely lister could not —

}iet. Wlien ilic very well knuwi that 1 liave
not sent cardie but twice |Im' whole season.

Jack, l/inl ! what ^i-jni

Set. What wftuld »he miv, if slie visited the
grcst families I dof For tlioi'::b I nm, as I may
say, but a commooer, no private «eutlc woman's
):rntlewum;iii bos u more prrttter set of Bcqunmt-

Jack. Well, but

Bet. My routs indrctl * Tlierc is Mrs All-
spice, who' lives with Indv Cict-ly .Sequence, hns
six tallica evL'ry Sinidav, lirsidr^ loners aud hmi;
ccrs: iMui moreover. profK>*cs eivins a ninviiic-
nule the bejcinniug of .lutK-, and I mlends being
tJitre.

Jaek. Welt, but tn talk cnlmly.

Bel. And ai miss is *o foml o( fetcliini; and
cnrryioB, yuu may tell Ihm* we arc lo hAw n pr-
Milc play amonc ourselves* as the quality have :
the iJistruslful Mother, 'lis called— PyUdcs. by
Mr Thiniuts, lortl Cntaf tnipbe'^ b*»def — Urr-
ntiooe. Mrs Allspice; and I shall do Androniaclte
my*rlf. ,

Jafk. A play ! Lord, Mrs BL'ity» will you giva
mc a ticket ?

lift Air* one for that — and so rou may tell
miss lliiil. [Dell riugi.] Cutiiiug, madnm, ibis

536

BRITISH DRAMA,

[F»OTX.

minute -And that, Mr John, is the long mnd

the short on't. [Beli ringt ojot*.] Lord, I am
coming \ExU.

Enter Woodford.

Wood. What's the matter?

Jack. Here, Betty, my mother's fao-totum, has
just discovered your haunts, and is pone t<i lay
an information af^nst you — so, depend upon it,
a search-warrant will issue directly.

Wood. Stay but a moment till I take leave of
your sister.

Jack. Zooks ! I tell tou the constables will be
here in a trice, so you have not a moment to
lose.

Wood. How unlucky this is !

Jack. But I hope you have obtained a verdict,
however?

Wood. No.
Jack. No !

ITood, It would not ha«c been deceat to Wc
pressed the jof^e too aooo for ■ tfirtff t-

Jack. Soon ! You are a Dinoy, I tdl yoa so*.
Here you will suffer jadgnkent to pt bj'de&olL
You are a preUy [vactitiooer indeed !

Wood. This, yua ntay know, my dear Jick, a
an equity case : I have bat just fifed my bfl;
one most give the parties tune to put m u »•
swer.

Jack. Time ! How yoo mar oome off in ovt
I can't tell, but you will turn oat bat a pout
chamber-coanael, 1 fear. Wdl^ come ako^ pct^
baps I amy be aUe to procarp aaoiber booaf
before it is — But, Lord o'mercT ! there is hAa
crossin]|r the hnll— should he see as, alfs ovtr^
we have nothing for't but taking didier wiib as-
ter. [£zeu(.

ACT m.

SCENE L

Hn/er Sir LtTKG Limp, Mrs Circuit, Colo-
KEL Secret, and Mrs Simper, ducavcrtd at
a tabUf with a collation before them.

Mrs Cir. Oh ! by the by, sir Luke — take
some of these sweetmeats, my Hear — [To Mrs
Suf.l-— Did not you promise to introduce to me
that little agreeable piece of imperfection that
belongs to the opera r Colonel, won't you taste
the champaign ?

Sir Luke. Who, Signior Piano } Let me assist
Mrs ^mper. Why. madam, I made an attempt ;
but at present — shan't I send you a biscuit r —
he is in the possession of a certain lady, who ne-
ver suifers him out of her sitlht fur a moment.

Afri 5iiK. Oh ! the curmudgcun ! — I am vastly
fond of these custards.

Sir Luke. Yes, they have a delicate flavour —
but he promised, if possible, to escape for an
hour — won't you ? [To Miis Cibcvit.]

Mr$ Cir. No, it tiivcs me the heart-burn —
Then let us leave him a cover.

Col. By all means in the world.

Mrs Cir. But there is, likewise, nnothcr party,
for whom n place ouiiht to be kept.

MrM Sim. Another: who can that be, 1 won-
der?

Mr> Cir. A small appendix of mine.

Sir Luke. How, madam !

ilfri Cir. You need not be jealous, sir Luke.
Taste that tart, Mrs Simper. It is only my hus-
band the Serjeant — Ha, ha, ha ! Betty makes
them hrrsclf.

Afrs Sim, Oh ! you abominable creature ! how
could such n thought come into your head?

Sir Luke. Madam — [Offering $xcetmcat$ to
|1rs Sjhfeb.]

Afrs Sim. Not a bit more, I thank too. I
swear and vow I should swoon at the k^l

Mrs Cir. And 1 &tiunld receive him with tk
polite indifference of an absolute stranger.

Sir Luke. Well said, my good Lady {otiepd!
But, notwithstanding, I would venture a tiiie
that Ins appearance would give you soch an elec-
trical shock

MrM Cir. Y<mi are vastly deccired.

Sir Luke. Dare you cuuu? to the proof? ^
you give me leave to introduce Mr Ser|atff
He is not far off.

Afr» Cir. What, my hasband ?

Sir Luke. Even he ! I saw hira as I cQUn^
the hall.

Mrs Cir. Impossible !

Sir Luke. Nay, then I most fetch him.

[Exit Sic L"?.

Col. I can't conceive wliat the kuighi ^Mxi
be at.

Afr> Sim. Why, be is raad.

Afr> Cir, Or turned fool.

£n(frSiR LcKr, a-ilA thr Serjeant't penit»
a block.

Sir Luke. Now, madam, have I reasoi? I*
this your husband or not?

Mrt Sim. It is he ! not the least doubt OM be
made.

CW. Yes, yes, it is the Serjeant himself.

Mr$ Cir. I own it; I acknowledge the loHtif
mr wi!.hes. [Kinet tbt Ife^

Afri Sim. All his features are there !

Col. The grave cast of his countenaoce!

■Sir Jjike. The vai-ant stare of his eye I

Mrt Cir. The livid hue of bis lips !

Mrt Sim. The rubies with whidi lus cinb
are enriched!

FOOTE.J

BRITISH DRAMA.

M7

C9L Hie filciit KlemDitj wbeu be siu on the
bencli !

J/rj C(>. We muu have him lU talitc ; Uul
prav, pMii fcilks, let my ltu<tbaiitl ujipcur like ttiio*
telt'. I'll run Tor the guwii. [£i'if.

Jlfn ^M. Uv all TRCaiM m tl)« world ]

Mk9 ClRCDfT rtlnrnx with a 1:01m and land.

JJri Ctr. Sir I-ulcc» lend jrour 065iitnncc.

CoL 'X'keret plucc hii» M tJic hrad uf tSc
Cnblr.

j^^x the hatd at iAr httek of a cAotr, ant/
ff/orr it at tuhU- ; /Vit ali cit.]

^Srt Stm. Madaiiit jiou'U take cnrc of your
luutiiml.

Mrt dr. X dau'c want to be put in mind of
tny dulj.

Mrt Stm. Oil, inadnm ! I know thnt very well.

&r Luke. Coioc, Hob or Nob, Mf Circuit —
J«t OS trjr it' we cnn't fuddle the ?^rjeuiit.

Col. O f^-e ! tiHve tt pru|>er rcnpect for the
coif.

iirt Sim, Don't be ton faceliotu, ur Luke :
iK it tint quite »o Mife to »|H>rt with the heniis uf
the law ; yijj don't kitoup huw woa vou tna^ liavc
« little buMi)C«5 tiit;i-thrr,

.Sir iMhc. Hut come, tile Sorjniiit is tulkr. I
hare thought of a wiiy to divert hiiu : You koow
he ik never »o hnppv as ^hen he la hfnriii: .»
OUM : ^uppoM* wc »tTr tu plcud utir b('fun<
him: Mrsl'lrcuit and 1 tu be couuset, lliC colo-
nel the clerk, mil .N(r»^iiupcr ibc crier?

Afn Cir. I1te tine»t tluinitlu in i)ir ivorld !
And, stay, to conduct tlie tiiul with piupcr so-
Jevnnitv, let** rumuioi^e hi^wnrdcubc; *c shaJl
Chcrr be able to eijuip ourwlves with suitable

Sir iMke. AUoiu! idloni !

JUr$ Sim, There i» uu time to be lost.

[Aii riie.

ilri Cir. [Stopping ikort 01 they arc Koiug
out,] [lul won't my husband bo nngry, if wc leave

htm alone f It'jfo, dearcL- wo »liall 8o<iu rciunt

to fcbee again. [l-Urunl.

JRmtrr Serjfant CitLCVtT^ not pfrceiving the eoi-
latioH.

K^. So. my lord not bein^; able to sit, iherr
f DO occasion for mc. 1 can't put that gtirl's
IMnuc out nf tny head — my nitc i» yoiini!, to
mre, and hiveV pluLMire, 1 own ; but, h» to tlie
in article, 1 liu\o nut tliu krafct (ground to Mt-
'MCE Iwr iit thai — No, no * — And then, «rli»ke!
my itraurn ami, tlio drareflt frieiwl I have in tim
— Ilcyday ! I^Vcini; the coflotioti.\ What the
■leucc have wc hero ? — A collation ! — So, t^t—
] »et: inndnin know* how to dircrt hurw-'lf dnrini:
in« iihscuc«. W'li.il'^ tin*' [.itriiif: iht lnWk]
On. h * ! ha, hn, ha ! — Well, Uiut'» prettv caou|;ti.

Vol. IIL

I protect— Pour ^irl ! 1 tr* the duld ant be

happy tvitbout hnvinc ••iinetliiiitat tnbie that tc-
Muilded nic. tluw ptcsK-d the will be to fiiKi]
iim here in fut^prin /terwna.' Hv yuu' h-iivr»
Mn Circuit — ]!i$ti Hokh nad nit»A Dclimie cat-
ill's, in triiib— 'and the Minu ( DnnA'f.J— t'ham-
paieu, n* 1 live ! — luutt have I'.illicr cla»* — They I
little rhiuL Itow that ^eiiilcmna there re)|;nMbj
himtrlf in their abAeitce — Ha. In, ha ! — quita 1
coorenirnt, 1 vuw — the litni of the weather hiu j

made mc Cifnc, brolhor edit", here'* your

licultli — [i>r^t^.J I ntutt plcilgc niywdf I Ihv
lic*c — [ Uriuki anaiit.] — dc-vdi-h stnmg— p*hut 1
StiDtebody'ft ciiinni|( — [Grtt up, and tfoci lotrnrJ^ \
dij 1 wv?

ti>r ata^).] Wli.'U

Four la»»«r»!

Wlint the devil can be the im-atint); of thin? I
thould Ih: glad to e*-'t at the bntttmi uf^-l ley 1 |
By your leave, brother Scrieaiit— I must crava
the use of your robe — iHilt HotPit^ aid gtit under
the ji-oit n.] Itetwccn ourM.-lvcs thi» 14 nut tlie dr»t I
time ttu» gown ha» covered a fraoo.

£nferStR Lt'Xi:, Cotoitrt. MnsCiarriT, and I
Mlt*! SiMPEn, drtntd «u (.'«a«ifr//iirj.

&r Luke. Cotne, come, jicntleinen, dispatch,
the court ha& bctin \«n)tiiii( vm\t time, brother
Ciraiit, vou bnve looked over your bnrf ?

Mri Lir. Whut, do you >np|»<»%e, t.ir, that, like
some of our brethren, I deter that till I ctune
iuto court f No. no!

Sir Ijtke. lliis cau^ mntaiiik the whole raar>
row anti pith ol all mndcni pnieticc.

Mrt Cir. One sliould iliiuk. sir Lnkc, ynu liad

been breil to tlic linr.

.Sir Luke. Child, I was wme yean in the
temple ; but the death of my brother robbed the 1
rube ut' my jnh'uinu |

iirri S*m. What a Iom to the public !

Hit Luke. You are HOart, Mr» Siuiper. I oia
tellyou,.S;rieant Snuifle, nlwisc manner I itudicd, :
pronounred mc a pminisin}; yuuth.

Jl/ri Sun. I don't doubt it.

Sir Luke, lioi let u» to business. And, finC*
for the Male i>f the esse : The portieis vou know,
lire lIuEivin and NoImoo? the oliject ol liii>;uuoa
i& a vuull parcel of land, which is to decide the
fate of a liorouch.

jUri Cir. True; otUcd TurnUirT Mead.

Sir Luke. Very well. ITien, to bnng mnttfrs
to K short iuue, it waa a);reed, that Nobium
slHiuld (in the pmiiiM-ft cut dnnu * tree, and :
IlultftiiM briuK hi« action ofdamai^e.

Mrt Cir. I'nic, true, 1

Sir Luke, the jury buin|{ •wom.nnd (hec<Min«
«ell<ir> ffcd, the conn may procrc-d. — Take youp '
M-ats — But hold — I hope laj gcQtlcman ha* been {
touched oil buth »idc»?

Jil Oh! fyc!

Sir Luke. I^ri ailcnre be tallied.

Jlfn Sim. Silence in the court '.

^r Lukr. Uut ttttp. In he regular, and prt^

3 Y

.'(38

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Foots.

tide Tor frwh cxo*c«. wc most take nn notice of
ihi' borough and lands 'f"" rfwl objeds in riew,
but 9«icli fittt to tlw tree, whii.h i» of oo iinport-
ance at all.

AH. Trur, true.

•Sir Luke. Brodtcr Circuit, vou may proceed.

Jliri C'ir. Gentlemen of tlie jury. — I am m
thift «2ausc counM:! for Hobson the pluntifT.^Thc
ottiuii is bmuRht agniaat NtbuchadncTnir N^b-
Bun, ihut he tN: raid N'obsuii did cut dotm a
tnv, vnliie twopence, itiid to his OMn UM said
tree did c<«Ten — Nob«on justifies, and cinitna
tree M tiis tree. We will, gt-iulcineii, first Mate
the probnlile «idimce, and then comr to the pr>-
titif'C ; nod, firrt «s to the pnilmble. — When wai
ihis tree here bel<»i|£ihg to llnb«on, Dnrl claimed
by Nobsoii, cut driwn * Was it cut down publicly

I in llie dnv, in the face of tlie sun, men, women.
and chiMron, nil tlie world lookinfi on? — No; ii
wn» cut down privately, in the night, in a dnrk
flight, nobody did «ce, nobody could bpc. — Hum
>*-And tbtn iMth re>peet and regard to this tree,
I am instructed tn say, gentlemen, it was a beati-
tiful, an oraaiucntal tree tn tbe rpat where it
,grcw. Now. can it be thiHiehllhat nuy mnn
-iruuld come f<>r to go tn tbe middle of the nj^tht,
nobody weinc nobody did we, nobody could sto,
ftnd nit down a tree, which tree wa* an oma-
lucntal Ire*, if tree had been bin tree? — Centiinly
no. — And n<:ain, i;ontlcmco, we mnreorer insist,
thi* tree «»% not only umamrnial to tbe spot
vtltcrc it grew, but it vra n useful tree to the
owner; it wno n plumb- rree, not onlv a plamb-
tTtt, but I nni authorized to soy, t)i« belt of
plumb-tree^; it wa-i a dnni^in plumb. Now, cun it
be ihuuphl. that any man would come for to go,
in the middle of iIk: tn|ht, nobody seeing, nobody
did see, nobody could ^er, and cut down a tree;
yrhidi tree was not only an omBnicnto] tree, but
a useful tree; and not only a useful tree, but a
« plumb-tre<^ ; ai>d not only a plumb-tree, but the
best of plumb-trees n dam<iin-plumb ? Must Hist k
redly no—If so be then thnt thi4 be «o, aiKl »o it
most certainly i*. I apprehend no doubt will re-
main wtlh the court, but my client a rerdici will
have, with full cost* of suit, in Mich a maimer,
iind so forth, »•» may ne*erthcle» nppear notwitti-
•tandinc-

£ir f.vl<r. Hare jroo Hom-. Mr Serjeant?
Mn Cir. You may proceed.
Sir Luke. Gentletnen of the jury— I am in
tliis cniiMT counsel for Hob— Zoujid*! I think
tlie bend niorei.
JU. Hey!

Cof. N'i. no. Mm Simper jogged the chair
ivtth her foot, that am» all.

Sir Luke. For HitcuIm Hobson — .'I could
have iwonj it bad Mirred)— I slmn'l, pnitlpmen,
u(M)n thi* cx'casion, iniempt to mote your i«i*-
(nonv bv flowing ptriodft nm) rhetorical flower*,
a» Mr Scrjcnnt has done; no, genllemrn. if 1
jcl Bt your heorts, I will make m^ tinj itiruugh

yoiir hcadv Imwerer tlucfc ther may he.— to »■

dirr to which, I will purtuf the learned gentkaai
Uirough what )>c call* his probable prooA : ta4,
fir»t, as to ihii trec*« being cut down in ifae aigkt;
in part we will grant him that point, but, vaitr
fuvour, not a dark night, Mr Serjeant ; do, miK
the reverse; we cim prove tlmt tiw mooa smc
bright, with uncommon lustre that tught — Sotloi
if »n be as bow people did doc 9ce, iliat wis mw
— [Sr aj EAN T $H€fjts.] Nay, Mr» Ciraiiu if job
break the thread of my —

Jt/rt Cir. Me braak ! 1 said Dodnag 1^

sure.

Sir Lvke. That's tnie, bat you Bn«ei«d.
Afrs Cir. Not I.

Sir Lukt, I am sure somebody did; ttcedi
not be the head— consider the leau intermplia
puts one out of one'* — None of our liuih^ dcT
might liuve looked on, and «r«:n if dicf wvm.
And tlien as to this beautiful tree, wiui wfarl)
Mr Serjeant ban omatnented hit soot — no, eo
ticmen. no snrh matter at nil ; I am iostractalD
^nr quite tlic reierse : a stunted tr«e, a bCglltei
bla»tcd tree; a tree, not tmly litnbic««aod hi^
IcM, but rery near HfclcBs; that was the tnir
Mtato of the trre ; and then aa In its tue, 9t om
it wan a plumb-tree indeed, but not of the kiad
Mr Scrjcnnt sets forth, a dainno plitmb: o«
prooA My loudly ■ hull-plutnb; but tf w bc*W
It had been a dnmsin plumb, will any maa tf ^
tu fay. tliot o tloinMii plumb is tite best Lnrf if
ptuiuh? not a whit. I take upoo me In sa*. il ii
tiot n noun lahstantii-e plumlf— with plettya
sugnr it does prrltv well indeed in ■ tart; 1*1 1»
eat it by it&ell, will Mr .Serjeant tsi to i nm^mt
It with theijucen-motber, th« pndrigoai

Str. [App^vriitg md^cnlt/ ftvm andrr ill
gonn.] The grtcti gages, or thc*orb(tr^>
Mrs Cir. As I live 'u* my husband !
ikr. Nnv, sir Luke, don't you run a»»By, «»-
give me n miss — ?ince I was bom. I nc»f» h«^
a finer »f ply ; I am sorry I did not hear Toar•^
gumcnt out — but I could nut resist.

Sir Lvke. This I own, wms a linle wiipn^-
Iliuf you been long here, Mr Serjeant ?
Ser. Uiit tikP iostattt you entered.
Sir Luke. So. tt>en, all lo aofe. [Jmk

Scr. But, come! won't Tftu rvficifcjMi v
Luke — vou have hard duty tV>-day.

$tr tukt. I drank »ery frrrly m laUr.
Srr. Nnv, for (he matter of that, I h«a\W«
idle, [hU%tk f/nn*.] But conie, throw of lOV
gnwn, and let us liiii^h th« bottle. 1 Wl^ M
ttich a mind tn be merry I can't teQ ifcr A^
when.

Sn Luke. Nav, thrn, MrSerjtsnt. Imi««m
— Cupie, here's long life and liealih tcii»^-

Str. 1*11 plertre time toast in a hampff
[Drinks]— IV lake Chnrlutte's htof, aiol m^
I ctin'tdntw the truth out of the InirM ^*

bottle. [ia<

FOOTB.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

«»

I

Sir Luke. Fll try tfX can't fuddle the fool, and
get rid of him that way. [Asidt.

Scr. I could not ha%'c tliou>Hit it : wliy, where
die deuce did juu pick up all this? Out hy the
b_v, pr»T who was the crier f

Sir Luke. Out mit you know licr? Mrs Sim-
per, your neiRlibDur.

Ser. A pestilent jade ! she'» a good oiie, 1
warmiit.

Sir Lake. She is thought very pretty : wlut
say you to n sIam in her tHvuurf

SfT. By all mt-HtH in ilie world! [Thetf drink.]
And that tpart: tlkc dork i

Sir iMkt. Colonel Secret, a friend to the lady
you toasted.

Scr, A friend ! oh, ay — I uiidcntaod you —
Come, let a»join tbcin toccther.

Sir Luke. Altons! [Dnnki] Etcad, I shall b«
eaui^t ia my own trap ! I bcgm to feel mvscif
Aistered already. [Atidc

" ! t liU- it

Ser. Dclicniu white wine, indeed .
tictter every glass.

Drink and drive care away^
Drink and be loerrT.

[Singt.

Sir Luke. True, ray dear Serjeant— tlua a the
:htr of bccrctb — the only key to ihe hcaru

Ser. Kif^bl boy, in vcritos vino.

Sir ImIu. Nu dficcit iti a butnpar. [Sin^'j
X>rifik aiid be merry.

Ser. Merry ! damme, what a sweet fellow
you are! what would I give to be half sv jolly and

Sir Luke. [Appemring very drtinA.] Would
you f and yet do you know^ Serjeant^ tlmt at
this rery juncture of time-, liirre i?> a ihinp h»s
popped into my head, that di:tCrC!tses mc vrry
nucb.

Ser. Then drive il out with a bumper [DrinAt.]
M'ell, how i?t It DOW t

Sir LuJu. Now !■ —the matter is not mended
at all.

Ser. What the deuce is th« business that to
sticks in your scomach?

Sir Luke, You know, my dear Serjeant, I am
your frieitd, yuur real, your afiectiouute friend.
Ser. I believe it, ur Luke.
Sir Luke. And yet, for iIksc mx monthn I
iMive concealed a secret, that tuuclics you iieurr

'Terv ntar •

Ser. Mr. near ! Thnt wiis wrgi^, very wrong!
fyictnia sbould havr nil (iiing% in cunmion.

Sir Luke. That's what 1 said to myself: sir
XfOkr, uiys I, uptm your heart ti> your friniul.
But to tell you the truth, what smlcd up my hp«,
wa the fear that tins secret ahuuld make you
galfcy and sad.

Ser. Me kulkv aud sad ! hu ! Im ! how Uttle
you know of in<^ !

Sir Luke. Swi-ar, tbeo; thou won't be aoeasy.
fitr. WfU, 1 do.

Sir Luke. [Riting.] Sof^ ! let us see Uiat alPa
Kafe. Well, Mr Scrjtiaitt, do you know that yoa
are — a iiac, houcat tvWuw.

Ser. U that such a secret/

Sir Luke. Be quiet; a damned honest fcltow

- but as to your wife - •■

Srr. Wdl?

Sir Luke. Slkc %i an infamous strum

Ser. HiiVf I it is a falsehood, sir Luke ! my wife
is as virtuous a wom— -

.Sir Luke. Oh ! if you are Angry, your servant
I tiiuught that the news would fiave pleased
ynu — fur, after ail, what is tlic butiuess to iiw ! '
What do I fret by the barmun t

Ser. That's true; but then, would it luit vex I
any man to hear bis wife abused in -mjcIi h —

Sir Jjike. Sat if lU trui% you old fool !

Ser. I say, it is false : prove it ; give roe that
satisfacciun, sir Luke.

Sir Lake. Uh ! yoa shall hare that pleasure di-
rectly; and tu come at once fa tliu ptjini — vou
rcmcmVter last new-year's day bow severely it
f rtrie ?

Ser. I do recollect.

Sir Luke. \'ery well ; we Were all invited to
dine at alderiuan Inkle's.

&T. Very right.

Sir Luke. Well, and I did not f|o : Mm Cii^
Cult made aw dine here iu tliis house— Was it
ray fault?

Ser. No, DO, sir Luke, no.

Sir Luke. At table, says ^e— ^he swd, I was
tito picture of you — Was it my fault?

Ser. Well, anil suppose you arc? wbcre't the
mischief in that?

Sir Luke^ Be ^liei, 1 tell you. — Tt>eu, thniw-
iii^ lier arms ffwiid ray neck — it is my husband
himself I cinbrace ; it is ray little old mxui itiat I

kiw ! for sJie has a prodi|;ious aAx'iion for

you at bottom Was il ray fiiult?

Ser. But what is there senocu in this? done
think I mind tuch triHn?

Sir Luke. Hold your tontue, you fooj, fur a
moment — Hicu, throwinj^ tier tereaaasidc — upon
my soul she is pnidigious Que every where hew
— ^Was it my fault i

Ser. My fault ! my fault I X see no fault ia all
this.

.Sir Lmke. [Httrkiuga fry.]— No ! why then,
my dear fni-ud. du you know thnt 1 was to UO-
wonhr, so pruAi^ute, ^j ubnndoned — as to^
[Kisrs.] say no more, the business is done.

Ser, Ay, indeed ?

Sir Luke. Oli ! fact ! there i^ not the leoit
doubt uf the matter; this is nu hear^^ay, dy'e
sec ; I was by all the Mliile.

Ser. \'cry nretty ! vfry fin^, up<m my word !

Sir Lukr. Was it my fault? what coiibl 1 ilu?
put yourself in my plact* ; I must lia*c been
more or tcM than man tu rr^tu.

Ser, Your fault, sir Luke! uo, no — ftm tlid but
your duty — Bui aa to my vtifc

m

BRI

Sir Luke. Sir's % illaboliaU fiend; I »h«U
tmtr her »^ long as I livr.

Srr. And 1 loo.

Sir Lake. Otilv tliink of her forcing mc, «n it
wpre wiilt a ^ntifd at mv litrasi, to play iturl) a
truk: VHi. my dear Scrffnni, tbe t>cii. truest
frtciKl 1 luve ill tlir uurld!

[WerpM.

Ser. [Wfrping.'\ Drv Tonr rears dc«r sir JjiLr;
I shall eccT cruttt'ully nrUnnw)e<lge yonr cxmfi-
dtnici? in tru«tii>i; me with ihc tufcni — [Tnkinti
Aim fitnrarti] tint I thiuk it might be RS well
kc|>t fiirtii the rc*t of iIh: worirf-

&> Im/u: Mv df^r sonl, do vnii diink 1 woi'lii
' tell it to iiiiv rnorml but you ? Ko, im, not to my
iroihcr htni«rir — Yoa nre the only man upon
earth I wiitJd Inul.

,Scr. Ten tlioufimd thankv tiiy dear fricftd !
sittc lltrn* n tv> coint'Di-t, nu ImJMim id hTo hke
a fnciid — but 1 slmll make lunduiti Circuit re-
in cm hpr—

Sir Lmke. We ne'illirr of iii oiijrht. to forjpre
Ikt — Were I \ou, I'd 2.i'l n divarcc.

Sfr. So 1 will— pro*ided you mWI proiniM not
tn mnrry her nOvr.

^ir Luke. Me! I'll sooner be torn to pieces
hy wild lioreef — >fo, roy dear friend, we will Fe-
tire to my honse in the niuiury tnf:etlierf nnd
llwrc, ifi innocence and simplicity, icrdinc our
pti:» mid pigeons, like Pyniiiiu* and Th'isbe» we
- «ill h%'c the |i»raz<>n'< of tin* nge.

Srr. A^rrH ; we «ill be tbe whole earth to
cnch utlier ; lor, ta Mr blinkopur mys

* TItc friend thou hast, and his adoption tried,

* Clasp to thy khiI, and quit tfic world beside.* —

• Sir Luke. Zvmu, here comes Mtulam Serjeant
herself!

Enter Mr!^ CiRctriT.

Mn Cir. So, ncQtleiuen ! a sweet lete-a-lete
'YOii h.ivc been hnldmc^ftiiE I know it all; not a
cyllnble you have hnnl ban been lost.

Sir Lukr. T>teii 1 hope you have been well
entertained, Mp< Circuit?

Mn Cir. And you, you mean spirited, dtt!-
tatilty wretch, iu leud a paticut ear to \m y\\-
famous iiiiprot>ahle tales, equaUy sbameful both
to Vim nnd mr *

Srr. I low, madam } liaie you the assurance —

Jll/i Vir. Yes -lir, rhe amurvnce ihnt iii-
nt>cent« ^ivet. Tlierc ia not a uiul, I thanl:
licaicn, tlint can lay the lenM soil, the lease spot,
«>ii luy virtue ; nor is ihLre ii ninn on mrlh but
yoiir^lf would Imre sat, and iMlcully li^tetletl to
the ficii'>ii» aiKl fiiblcs of this inteinpcmte sot.

Set. Wliy. to lip siirr, the knight is overtaken a
lillle; very ncnr drunk.

^ Utkt. I hope be bclteres it*3 a lie.

{Aside.

[FoOTC

Mn Cir. Do me instxnt jiatioe os this Mii-
mer, tbia bar, or never more expect toaec ai B
your hoirte.

Srr, 1 bceiD to 6tti] out ibe fr*ud ; this sails
flam of the kntf^ht's !

Mn Or. Ill drke- thna hHtmiu In a fnetd d
mine in the ('ommoaa, and wtt if du aas*
faction .an be had, for blsiciBi: ilia repuiaav
of a woman like roe — And. hark you, «r, ah«
indocCUMTMt, w bat devil cniihl prompt

Srr, A\ ; what deril could pnjiupt-^—

Sir iMke. Heyday!

Mrt i.'ir. Ilut I ^iit-Mi at yoor motive ;yMfli^
tcred yourself, that, by marryuif CharlMOr, laJ
ilifcardint' of me, you should en(;ro«A all his s^
fec*ions and

Ser. Tmc, Hup ■ -.'kop, my life, lettnefl»s
at him a little : Hark you, Mr Knicbt? [ hcga
to iliK'avcr that you are a «ery ^ald dog.

Sir Luke. Et'ty. Hrvte f

Ser. Brute !— yuull find I am not tbe brm
you would have made nie belieye ! tan
con«iiiiTed both sides of ihe quewittn.

Sir Luke. Uoih sides of die 4|iiettM« !

.Srr. Doth. Ifyuur fttorv is trwfV J^* "* '
sroundrel to dtWiuch the wife of ynnr frinJ;
and if it is false, vou are an infwnoBa toff.

Sir iMke. Well argued !

Ser. So, in both ease^ get out of MybovBt

Sir Luke. Nay, but,&«rjcftnl ■ -

Srr. Troop, I tell yuu, nn^ iieTcr ajraia nW

theac walls yon liavc lil»elkd tny wife, M^I

will »ec yon no mure.

Sir Luke. Was there ever soeh a

St-r. March \ .And a& in m^ dau(hl0> I ««M
IU soon marry her to a fontm pouipcmebtvL

[£rir in II Ui«.

Jl^rt Cir. Do yon conskl«e, >ir CIVtcmie, wttit

you are puUuug' tlie fellow } That dtamk«

IS Charlotte's.

£n<crStnLvxVf Woooront*! CiiAaiom,«irf
Jack.

Sir Luke, Herdny! «hn tbs rieore hre *•
here f — Pray walk hi, my c«od (oIk»— Vour •«f
vani, Mis^ CharMic ; your »er>aM. Mr ttlHt*
dy'e-cail-om.— MrScritant, tou ncvd doc traat^
yourwlf to rater for Mi>s; yiMir &inilT.yov«4
can prortile for tlieinM-U<>^.'

Ser. llcyduy ! Wliui ilte dcuc« is aft lllit
Who are yon, sir, and how cattic too h»r?

(io W»KiW«*

Jaek. It waif I, latlicr, that luxnKbt haa-

Ser. Hftw , ^irmh !

Sir Luke. Well said, n* woog li«k cT ^
law !

Jack. Come, lel »)« hzwr none n* vmi
I brought Mf W«>- '

Die to Hn the MuiK .(▼,

itir if hf did nut hiiiIl- mc i.\:\- i.si.dtLr, i) I
tct him into tlu: huusc the ju«lic toa vi

FoOTK.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

541

»

Kingston, of n new pair of ulk stocliitigs, and to
leant nic a minuet.

Sir Luke. Me ! I should never have got yau
to tuni out ymir tr>c%

Jack. Ay. and wurem'cr, ^a made mc push
out my (hest, and do M with my dngers, as if 1
wa« tAliiiie iwn pinches of snutT.

air Luke. You see, Mr Serjeant, nhac u fond-
MMS I hate for et-cry (wi^ of your funiily.

Srr, I fJiall thnnk you hcrcHftcr — Hut from
you. C'harlrtitc, 1 cipectcil other guKs- -

Vhar. When, Mr. YOU heurlkis nhcile mutter
explained, you will a»|uit nie 1 am iiire.

Woa.i. luiieod, ftir, I am wholly to Uamc; my
bcinu here vka em much a surprise upon Miss
Charlotte a^

Ser. Rut now yuu are here, pray what's jour
business?

Jack, O ! father, I ran acquaint you with that
— he warned mi* to hntit; a I'tvc-lcilcr to Cli:\r-
Intie; s^il Told him he lui^ht bring it himself, for
that [ w«>iilH not do any such thing for uirvcr so
much, for feur of otTvndmi: you.

Str. You oKiided the mutter, indeed— —But,
mfter »11, who, arid «lmi arc you ?

Jack. It» the yiiufi" c''ii^^c''"^" thnt Htcs
over our Iteud^ to whom Mr Fairplay is guar-
dian.

Str. Wluv Woodford?

Jack. Tlie Mime.

Srr. And are vou, young man, in a silaatioo
to think of A «»ile?

Wood, i nm lUttcrcd, sir, that as jtuUre is
with luc, I sliall one day hare no oontcittptibic
furtunc to throw at her feet.

iicp. Jiistire 'f,\ Whiit signifies justice? — Is
the low with vou, you futil ?

WtM>J. Witii your l>ctp. sir, [ should hope fur

Ir union, up<Hi this <H:rH»iou at lra»t.

Str. vSell, sir, I slmll rr-'-<>n^ider your papers;
Ktid if there arc pnihtibic firounds, 1 may be in-
dood In he»r your propo^l^.

Ifoinl. Nav itieit, !.ir, ihc recoverinc mv pater-
nal poues&imu nuUics mc anxiouft lodcod.

Coald 1 hope that the ycmng laily's good wislwi
wmild ntlrnri me.*

Char. I havt* a fatlier, and can have no will of
nay own.

Sir Lttke. Sn, then, it teems poor Pil GarUck
jierr is discarded :it once !

Ser. Why, could you have the impndettce,
after what lias happcn<*l In hojK- tliut

ilr$ Cir. He ha.5 given wonderful proofs of
his modesty.

Srr Luit. Be quiet, Mrs Circuit — Come,
t^Hl folks I will Act all m:irtfTs to r^ts in a
minute; and firM, MrSerjejint, ii bacooHH am
to tell you, tJiat 1 never intended to marry yum
danchlcr.

tier. }lnw ! never!

iSrr Luke. Never. She is a fine eirl, I alliwr;
but would it now, Mr >HTJennT, hare bt-t-n
huncftt in me, li> have nibbed the whole •ex
of mv person, and confuicd my furoun to her?

Sc'r. How !

Sir iMke. N'o ! I was strurk with the in»-
rooratitv of the thin^; aticl thercfotc, to make it
irapOMiVlc that vou ithnuld ever Dve mc your
dau^tcr, 1 invmicd the story 1 told you icott-
ccniin^ Mrs Circuit and roe.

Ser. How !

Hir Luke. Tniih, upon mv honour— —Your
wife tlicro, will tell ton tlio wliutc n as a lie.

Srr. Nay, tlieri, iridccd— But vtitii what
face can I look up to my dear ? 1 Imvc injur-
ed her boy^Nid the lto|>es of futpvcncss — WouM
yo4i, lovco, but |MLHS on net of oblivion- — -

.Sir- Luke. Sec uic liere prustraie to implors
your clemency in U.-liiUf of mv friend.

A!ri Cir. Of that I c.m'c determine directly-—
Out as you seeni to have nomr sense of your ptitt^
1 »}uill prnnt you a reprieve fur the prt-seirt,
whith conrnrinn anr] amendment may, perhaps*
in time swell into n pardon :

But if afi^ain olTendinfE yoa are oiueht !
Ser. Then let me suflcr, dearee, a* I otight.

[Ks<unt oMHteR.

THE

MAID OF BATH.

»T

rooTX.

DEAHATIS PERSONA.

HEN

Sib C>»8Toraia Cupplc, tm oUMaueKee.

Me Fuvt, a mutr,

Majok Rackbt. « man offuUoiu

BlLLT BUTTOH, a toUoT.

Fbtee PoutTicjt, m mpotUcary.
Fiixup, m fNAemr.
Mtnbbes Sovft Ceout.
Hoiis. PB Jamet.

JOBV.

WOMEN.

Lu>T Cathbbive CoLZk9TSEAir» « &afdb J

Hks Linnet.

Miss Linhbt, the Maid cfBatk,

Maid,
Wait€n,^e,

Scene— Bath,

ACT I.

SCENE h—Tke Bear Inn at Bath.

Enter Fillup.

HL Wet, John, Roger, Raphy, Harry Buckle !
what a dickeDs are become of the Udt i Can't

yoa hear f Zare, zure, these wbelps are enow

CO make a man mazed!

Enter teveral Waiten.

AIL Coming, sir.

lUL Coming ! ay, zo be Christmass, I think-
when be'st thee gwaio, boy i What, I reckoo thou

ca'stnot zee far thy eycft— her^ take the e
and Ught the gentJefolk in.

Enter Joan.

John, Carry a couple of candles isto
Daphne. [Eiil Wa

FU. Johu, who is it be a come P

JoAn. Major Racket, in a ciuty and fbor, I
the Devizes,

FuL What, the young youth, that last as
carried away we'un Mrs Muzlinxes preotioe^

John. Miss Pat^ Print from the gran.

FOOTE.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

I

FiL At. nir»— thee dMt know her well enotc.

John. The same.

Fti Zore, tare ! tKcn we ihalt hnveocld duin^
bj and hj ; he'* a deatlly wild tpark thee dost
know —

/oAn. But 15 good a customer as comes to the
BtHr.

Fil. Tliat'ik Hire cni>u^S : Iheii, why dost not
ran and Ufjnt tlicm io? Stdv, ay I the candle, [
wDole go, and light 'etn in myzclf.

IIacxet witiout.

RdC. Give till* post'boys half a guinea between
thnn.

John. Ay, therp is some life in thii chap ! these
are your guests that pvc spirit to BtuK: your
parylvticnl people, that come down tii be par-
oniM nod ptiui|ted. do no tiood, that 1 know, to
the town, unlcw indeed ti» the phywcal tribe.
How I halo to see an old fctluw tuibtilc into the
houw, wrth hi.i feet wrapt in fl.innrl, pusliing
ionh bit fiiif^er^ like u cnisi in the hiindi to
point out the di&rcnt roads on a cummon^^-
bush!

Enter Rackct aN^FiLLVP.

. . [ hope, raester, you do xcc your vrav ;
re be two sirps you do know ; wcHtZure, I be
tienrtiiy plnd tu zee your honour at Uaih.

Rat. 1 thuiik yuu, my hiiiie^l friend Fillup ;
what, haw vou many people iu town f

ttl. Tbcre heji't a power, plcaw your honour,
■It prewnl ; sornc r'tck folL iKat do no zort nf tar-
wi% and a few layers that be cume otfa zircu)t>
chnt'4 all.

Har. Birds of pnswse, ha, Fillnp }

John. True, w\ for at tlie bcj^mning of term,
when the VKXHlcuckscoine in. the uiltcra tly ufT,

Jldf . Are yiu there, honcvt Jnck *

John. And bnppr tu >ec your Itonour in town.

Jtdi. Wi'll, rii>i-<«ter Killup, and how go you on ?
^Aiiv clubs fined IU vet ?

Fu. Mo, wr, ont tri Tny filed ; there he pnr-
•on Pulriiddork from tlie Ijind's Knd; MaMrr
Evan Thomas, a Welch aitomey. two Hristol
men, aud a few port ririnkinf; people that dine
ef«ry tiny in the Liwi ; ihe clan-l club bcn't «-
pcrted down till the end of next week. —

Rac. Any b<Mly in the House that I know }

Fil. Vc4, sHire — lichind the hnr, there be sir
Chriunphcr Cripple, frcf>houtuf a fitof tiic tnul,
Hrinking a dmp of puitch alone wi mener Fctcr
Pin»lu<.f, the polfrt cnrricron ihs Parade.

Hmt. Tlie i^aaeuai of Untli. ihr rery men I
««nl: fn*c my coinphmcnts to the ecntlvinen,
■nil irll Ihcm I sltould Iw sind of ihoir mnipanv
■—bat perhaps it may be troublcwnic im iir
ChrtMouhcr^

yU. No> no, not ac all ; at pmcnt he is a

little tender for lure, bat I warrsnt un bell
wake B khif^ to babble into the room.

[Erit FiLLOF.

Rac Well, Jack, and how fares it with youf
you bnre throve, I hope, since 1 ww yuu ?

John. Ibruve \ no, no, Mr ; your honour knowf
that durini; the ^ummEr. tuverm and tumspict
have but little to do at Uath.

Rac. True ; but what is Itocomc of your oo}-
leapic, IwincfttNcd? I hope be ha* not quitted
his place ?

JoftH. The share be had in ytrar hononr's i»-
trtgiie with Mtu Prim, soon made this ci^ too
hot for poor Ned. i

Aat. Then whv did not the fool p> to London |
with me ! The lielluw has humour, spirit, and j
sings a food song. I inte-odcd to have reoonHj
mended him to one of the ihentres.

John. Whv. sir. Ned tiinuelf had a bias that
way : hut I'lis uncle, alderman $uft'inf{tc the
saddicr, a piece of a puritnn, would not give hit
consent.

Hoc. Why not?

JoAn. He M-ns afraid that kind of life mi^ht
corrupter endan^r Ned's morals; so he basset
him up in a bu^nio at the end of U>it|;-Acre.

Hoc. Nay, if the fellow falls after such a i
curity- -

£nfer Sir CeKisTOpnta CRipPiE,PiLLrp, anil

I'trSB Poi'LTICfi.

Sir Chrit. [W^lhmt^ At what a rate the ras-
cal is ruuning; Zouna<t ! I helierc the fellow
thinks I can foot it as fast a« Elclipse ; slower

iind I* Where is tliis rakehelly rnntipole ?—

Jnrk, set me a diuir. !^ sir; yuu must po»> I
seHS a good kliare of assurance to return to Uiil i
town after the tricks yon hnvc played — Fillup^ ,
iVtch m the pinicli — Well, you uu^nidous young
dog, and what is becoine of Ittc wench? Poor
Pntty ! and here (uo my rcpiiutioo is ruiucd, as
well as tlie girl's.

Rac. Your reputation ! that's a good jcit

Sir Chris. Ve^ ftirrnli, it is; and all owing to
my ncqitniiitniice. wilhyou; I, forsooth, arn cal-
led your adviser ! as if your contriving head and
prittligate heart stood in need of any amttww
fnim roe,

K«r. Will, but my dear sir Kit, bow can thia
idle stufTaflect vou?

Sir ('Aril. Mow f easy eooiteli ; I will be
jiwJfjed now by Pnokicc — I'cier, speak ilie truth ;
before this here Uot in my escutcheon, lure von
not olMier^ed when 1 wtiit to either a bal] or
hrr«kra.stloc. bi)w easer all tlw girls ealhcrctl
roMud loe. ei(i«iic> and jokinc, and eigglmg; gadi
lake me, as facetious and fm na if I were tfaieir
r'ulhcr.

f'lml. X'lthiMj; hut truth.

t'll. Huit's truth, tu my zcrttun knowledge.

6U

BRITISH DRAMA.

ibr I hare iccn the women (oli. uucrtng till
ihey were reMljr (■> breuk. tlicir ri«ic4 wtH;ii yuui
konour was throwing vour double triidrr.* about,

AVr C'Arij. 'I'ru»-, luinnt I illup — Wfurr your
curst oOkir, ucitlicr mmd, tfiilinv, ur nife wa^
•Bbomeil ot'cuiivrrsiiHt witti niu: hut nuw, wtien
J am nhcfled intu ibc rurjai, nut a miuI under
seventy will txiiturc witdm len yards of my
■chair; I did ^liuni>ed worse tlinit n k-prr hi llto
d«T5 itf kit)^ LihI; mo iibwfliitc twfmiit tii the ini<Hl
ol'acroud. ^peuL, I'lilup, ii not tlus niuelaucboly
truths

Fii. Very molycliolly nire* —

air CfirU. But tliit IS not all; Uic crof>-atrrd
y can. of ttu; city have taken into tj>cir empty
licitdft to neglect me ; formerly, Mr Mayor cuuld
iKit devour a cuhtur*), hut I received a civil card
\ii rnrtiilkc; hut now, tiic ruite raacaU, in iheir
butny bohK. hru»h by luc without deigning to
bow ; in ^iMtrt, I do not believe I have fand a
curporalion cn»t in my moulh for the^e ui
niuiitbs. You mi^lit oi well expect n minister of
Mnic nt ttic Mansion House, u see me at one of
llwir fctfili.

J^iL Ills honour trlls nothinK hut truth.

Sir Chrii. So thni 1 am almost futuishcd, as
well as forsaken.

Fil. Quite tiunishcd.as a body may say, met^
Icr.

Sir Cfirii. Oh ! Tom, Torn, you have been a
curK>fl ncr|ualntance to nie ! what a numl>er of
6ne turtle iiiicl fat Iiiiuncbt^ of wmsou liiut your
wickednew lo^t nir !

Rtic. My dear sir Kt^ for this I merit your
thmikft; ivixv ofleii hu Dr C'arawilchct told yuu,
thnt vour rich food niul <r)iiiiii[iaii:ne would pro-
duce nothing hut poor health anil real piiiii f

Sir Chrit. What si^ii'ies tlic pmllte of Mich a
punning P"Pl'y '^ '"-' ^ ^Vhnt, I siipjioic yuu
wiiuM sturve me, yau M»undrrl ? Wlicn I am Kot
out uf one 6t, how tite devil am I to eiitlior
alrtnglh to cncouotcr the neil ? Do yon think it
» to l^e ihine by sippi'is and ^luppiny,? [7Jriit/ci.]
But nil nmtler; look vou, major Roikct, all be-
tween us is novr at nn end: ami. atr, f should
coiividtT it a* a pariirular favour, if you wcMitd
take uo fiirllirr notice of ine ; 1 unct-rcly desire
to drop your uiqunintnnrc ; and, »% fur myKlf, I
am (ived, p*»sitivcly fixed, lo reform.

Rac. lU'forin — lui. Im !

Sir Chris. Kcforni ! uud why not? You shall
are, the whole ritv *h«n see; as «»on n^ evrr I
pet to mv l(id<iinj;'i, I will Bcnd fur Luke LultituI
and C'tHicil, luid uiukc a buiulaouK bcr]uc^5t to
tlic ho:^pitnl.

Krt.-. Stuir!

Sir I'ftrit. Then I nm resulvcil lo l<e carric-d
everv duv to Uie twelve o'clock pntycts, nt the
Ahliey, ami regularly Iaicc ul'a Sunday,

Rite. lin, hM, hn!

Sir Chrit. Ila, ha. ha! you may laugh, but I'll
be dnitiurd if I don't ! and, If iitl tlii« dmi'i reco-
ver luy credit, I am detcmruad, besides, tu hire

[FOOTL

- n.i ke ■ wittnr

a bouse in lUricqain-f*

liearer ut tlie cuuntfM — ■

/Idc. And bo, perhaps, ^u... -.at a Mift^A-
er in tiiuc ?

Sir ('Am. I don't knmv hat I may.

Ror. Well, then, ray dear or Cbntfophvi*'
dieu ! but, if we must pari, let u* |«rt at frinA
should, not with dry lipv mnd m »uc«v: Filkp,
lake care of the knii^hL [PiLwr fiih lit gim-
f>.] \Vi II, faith, my old crvncy, f uu*l »t W
I am lieortjiy M>rry in ]o«c y<.nj ; tnauy a Uvt
batch liarc mc broached m our time

Sir Chrit. True, Turn ; true !

Kne. Doii'i you rentember the bout we hail n
tlic Tutu, in tiK: day» nf Plump Jack ^ I *lnjil
never fuif^et, alter yuu bad fclkd oU
wiili a pint bumper nf burvundy, bow f
ktrotle the ppuHnUe hero, nod in hiiowa
cried. * Crown me, ye ^inlA, that ddi^
ncrous wine I*

Sir Chrit. Vauitj> mere wni^, Toa ! doObI
but vanity !

Hoc. And then, another da* at the h«

rcpU-nish, Fillnp; the bowl is utjt ctapty.

Sir Chrts. Knou^li, enuitfib !

Rac. What, don't flinch, man f ilrtbaltot-
nish the Come, sir Chri»t«pher, gae MAt

Sir Ckn$. Take care of niv hmod : poW d
your old iridLS, you vouni; dtju'l

Rar. Oeatle a» the li<:k of a Uf>-dag! lha»-
WliBt a clock is it, l-'illup ?

Fit/. I'll tt)l ynu, mcster, [Look$mu kit nUk]
juirt iiirtwd a fix— — —

/for. So uMHt ! han^e it, sir Kii ! it n loa m^
to part ! rtmie, what hay ynu to uor off*
nwire? but one to the sucrcd fecluiES of fiwi^
chip — honest Killup knows jour taMc, k* "^
toM you up a

Si'f Chra. Not n rooncl, Tom, if yoa •»!*
E;i*c me the imivcrse.

Rtic. I'oli, man! onl^ a Saodwick or w
Filiup, what Ita^I eut in the botnc?

i'ill. :\ fauiotis Jubn Dorey, two pair of •*•
ami titere be a jumt of I^ausdowD maton: t*^
tlien, yuu do know, my Molly be vamoot in a*
kint! marrow- puddinw

Rae. A fine hill of fore ! Cotne, kDi|^t ^
do you rhuusc f

■SirCAMi. Me! why jou-aaem tokatafe^
what I told you jus.t now — ■

Rac. Vuor design to refomw not >* ^"'

and I fhmk yuu quite nubt : prrfcctly K^i*'
hope to be saved ; but m I mt nn-dft nil tlu> W>7
(o-morrow is n new day ; it will thm I* **

ly cuough riUup, scud us in jitvC »hii.*<"

»ill.

^V Chris. You arc a coaxim^ cti,taliac i^^
dug. Well, if ii niu*t be su, Vlllup, it imu*',^'''
Kip. get iiir nil andiovy toast, ami — dutMiUtf^
iitKl a red licrrir^ or iwv» for my WH^^f
damuabljr Meak.

1

FOOTE.]

BJUTISH DRAMA.

54i

FtU. I fhall, lo he wre. [Erit.

liar, ^t, ilat's sii'itled — now, Poiilirri-, ounc
fiirwuril: well, my ttladoH, nnil »lut urw» hate
jiHi stirniig nmoiiu'iA jim ■'

I'oal. ¥.\cvpl a little run nf wire (liro:itft about
the bccitiuiiitt o( aulumo, util a few fcolilu fvU
lons i'>nt (ln»pE off wiUi Uw Icuvn ut fktitl>cr.
Ib« t.uMi IX tntoiernhla ■

Hov. Pus of th«! Jeiul mill thu ilyinji* Imt
whiit niauKtfi'.ut^ tmvc Vk»u \itA Tn- |lio litiMt*?
J'liu/. I'hcrc u Ihc new pltiy-Uifti^v, ynu

ktiovr

fi'jr. True ; b'.it n* to the ntuti'-nl »»iiriil, »»tiia
liLtpr« luive wc tlicrc ? aitf uf tJie *t^rn jh ojdi- u-
aifmg, you f apropii^ — >vli»t is twfunit' oj' nu lit-
tle (lame. La iViiic It^uijinulc, the lively iiitlr

Xjuitei P id she *{ill

Sir i'/irii, I>JM, tniftUy liisi f — ■ ■

Rm\ L»t ! Hhoi, left yaal 1 am surrv fftr
thnt.

Ar C/trit, Wor*c, woi^C !
Rar. I hope v'lc iin't drnd?
Str Orv. I'cu ilif»u»iuicl times »or$c ttion oil
th.lL

Sir CUiru. No moix tlum what her ulcots u ill
itivc her.

RfM*. Why, the piiUnwa doc» not meau tu

prufil hv lliriii ?

SirChrh, I'crtinps if hi« fnmilr shouM cliRnre
til incrcaw— but I bcliere hi» main iimtirc it
thi; Impfn of an hrtr.

Koc. For tvhtcli be inu*l he imicbicd to wme
ttl'liis iiei^btxjurt ; in thut p<iinc uf ti^hr^ iiulfod,
iIm iiiiiltrr 14 not Sii niiiirh iiiiiiu; it is iiii}»iMiblo
she fan be (oi«l iif iJic felbiw; nnH il i* «enf
li.iT't, with the upp'irtuiiili» ihu; ihts plu<'e will
wfiiinl, if Ml low l(i>iii « iit'iutH I Jon'i

Sir Chru. riiM pltu't:! ^llv v«u itun'l lliink
be'il tniKt licr here fur lui hour?
line. Uuw :

Hac, Utiw iIk d<-uoc CBti ilmt ho f
Sir ffris. JaM g'Hiig tn he huricH alive — lo
be iiuirricfl !

Rrti: Po'i ! is tlint nil ! Tlinc ccrciumiv vna,
ttitlortl. forincrlv lookril upon 114 h kind *<( meta-
phjit'i-itl smtr, but 1 1 w ftv<^«-iu i« itmncnl. mu\
mnrrinte i» iiriw tiMiviilcrvtl u» nii I'litniiicc (ij a
nvvr tuiH Iwitcr kind nf life.
Sir CkrU. Iiulrrd !

tiac. IMiii»* ! »lio tnlks mw nf tlic (lrn(l|.'C'rv

>f (bituntic iliitics, of iMipiul rUnititi, ami ol'

[ build t — iiH-'rc itltfiilrte wurils ; thrv did »i-tl c

Bm>ch in <)io ilull dnys of (Jtictn llc«*: but »

tinodi-ru I11-1. puts on fetters lu enjuv il-t- luorr

frredoin, and pledges her fuilh 10 ntir, tliiit aliv

' Oinv be lit liberty tn bcstiiM her ftirtiiir»i>ii ml.

Sir Chrit. What vAit iiDpni^emtnts nrc dnily

Ruwtc ill i>ur nionils ! whnt an uiifurtunnte dot;

^nta If tu conic into lite- world tit lc:i:tt tiRlf » (cii-

too ftoiMi * nhiiL \fcould 1 uifv In bi.' Ixmi

Iwciity vt"i»r» lienc«! there will bt dnnnKfl tiiif

td'iint's llifii, hey, Tmii ! Hut I'm afniiil «ur |M»or

Itcik itirl ncMi't Kntc it iu bor (Kiwer to |>rolit bv

'iTiT pn^liiiioits il 11 prove mtriib».

Hue. Why not?

Sir Ckrii. Ob, when mice you hnir the name

of hrr panner

JitH-. Who is it?

Str Ckri$. All uc|n»unt*nc« of ynura — only
■t old lusty, shnbb), sbodlii)^, moiirv-ltniiqc, wn-
dnnkiiifE, tninh-mnrrin^, Kinoroiis old bunib,
rSnkimoii Flint.
He, ihw enjoys — 1 uewit owiu, bntf tUc
Snio* in ibc rountry i
SirCAni. He, even be !

/{^H*. Why, he i« »ixly at least; what a fJtby
old ^oat ! but, then, how docs this design lui't
rwilii his avarice i tiic girl has do furtuue.

Vol. Ui

Sir Chrit. Not aro'iiiti^t: ibf scbtiiw* is oil
settled; tlic miublitic old fti mi K -conch rarnet^
liir iinincdi:itelv fi'<)<<i the cliurcli door to his
m Mil- 1, liHitnti'd Mid boiioi* in tlw couotry.
Ilai\ Iitdcvtl !

Sir Chrit. WIici-c. I>r>idcs llie Arctis hini»elf( |
she will Ih; w airbed by no lew iSnn two )>nir0 '
of lii» ai<i[crs, f<Mir u* luuliein'it, tnu-ty old muidSi I
as ever were sound by sulitutle, and the ite*]
ftlm-t of tl)e world \

Hmi: a Eunrd trnt to be mmipted i>r cor^Mff^ ^
Why, sirrbristnpbcr, in n cbrUlmii CtMininr> ibif
must not be snlfrrcd — What *. a tniscnblc latp !
tere<l old fellow like bitn to raonOiioliie such •
Icniptiii;: creulitrc n* lirr !
Str Chrin. A dinlMdiail p!itn *.
iZw. Besides, the sfrliidiui: mid itnmuriitg is
girl umseswd of brr elrti-int uUruts, is little brt*
ter iHiiu robbiniftliv' world.

Sir Chris. Inlain<iii<i ! ivoi-4- ibiii a rape ! but
where art the nieniis to prc\ent it ^

Raf, Much might he done, if you would leitd
i» vuur nUI.

Sir C/trit. Me! of what use ctui 1— and m,
you rascal, you naut li>cniptny mo «g|iin ns your
pimp?

liar. You take the tli'ti^ wro<^; I only wi«h
you tosuind fortb, my dear knicht, aiul, like my
self, be the protector of innocence* aad a true
friend t'l ibe public,

SirChtit. A true friend tn the public ! a fiita
stnlkiu:; horse thai ! but I fear, like oUicr pre-
Iciiik'rs, Tom, wbf n your own prinalc porposc i«
served, the poor pubbc will be left in Ll>e lurrh :
but, however, ibe poor pirl docs desenc to be
suved, and if I could do any thing not ioniasUC'-
ent with ray plan of reforoiiiig

R»ie. Tliat wa* *poke like yourself upOQ

wb»t terms are vou and Flint at present t

Si~ CAru. Oi) Hud vuKgar arc iwt so o|ipo-
site.

Hac. Ponllicc, vou smoke a pipe with htoi
kOitMiimes; pniy, vfho are your partv?

Pout Myuhwr SourCrnit, Moosii-ur dr Jar-
scy, the port manufacturer, Billy Uuitoii, thn tuH

I'lr, blaster riint and I« xnmx^ crcuiii^ tuLc a
Hhiffltere.

Har. Arc jrou all in his confidence on rliis
great oc<:n<tiuii }

Pout. V\-»m thii case we hnve lint) coniulta*
lions; b«it Billv Huttuu t» ftr»t in Itis fufour; he
likf & lki« urtscripOtm the brut.

Jldu: I rO(u this quarter we must Ucipn tbt Rt-
lack, C'Hild we nui contrive to convene tliin il-
luftlrious M-nntc ii>-iit;;lit?

Paul- 1 klwiilit think cD&il; CDDOgh.
Rac. But berure you meet here ?
rtmt. \V ithi)Ut douU.

Rar. My dear I'nultice, will jfou undertake
plhc cuiuraiui'in?

Pou/. ( «:ll iVrl their pulses, lu nUigc Mr
ChrUtiiphfT (*rtpple.

air i'hrii. Bui. Peter, do«t renltjr think thif
ra«li C'lnl 15 diiLTtiiiiipd ?

/'(w/, I U'li».-\*f. sir Chrittoplwr, he is firmk
cr^uadrd, thiit iiuthiii^ will allny titit umuin-
LJiK'n Krui in hi^ hliM>d, Ihil sualltmiu|; ibe |iill
I nui rimuiiinl.

Ettc, y\r must eontrire at least to lake off

I'tlu- {;:ldiiig, and pee nhat cB^ct that will lv:ivc t>ii

'liiii ro'ini^c. \EsU PortiirE.

Sir Ctirist. Well, mnjor, nufold ; what can

you incnn by this meeting; t

Hoc. U it |)OM>ihtr: yu can be at a loss, you,
vtlin lm«c ftu \iiv\i ktudicd loankind I
SirChht. Kxplain.

Itme. Can't ytm conpcirc wliut infinite &true-
plts inu»i have hcen frit by this felluw, before lu'
cnuld muster np i-iiiirafir to cny^^e in iKis dread-
("ill, piTilmift fctatc? How often tiave you hcurd
the pHHeibial puppv allinn, thnt mnrnn)ie wai>
ti»liing for a sinfile eel nnioii); n luirrel itf makes ?
WUnt iiitimte odd*, that you Inid hold of the eri.
and then a million to one but he 6hpt tlirouglt
jour tinsers?

&r CAm. True, tnie !

Huf. C'nn't you, theii, ^icw nbat will be lii»
feclin{i>s und lean, ntten il coiiicfl to ttie pu^h r
r>» you think the publir opiDi<»ti, lii« various
double of hifTu<«ir, und ol her, ilte pride of his
family, nnd the loud claims ornvurice. Iit» rulJriL'
pnsftion 'till now, won't prove nunr an equipoise to
nii« love f

luv I'hris. Wiihout doubt.
Roe. At the rriiiral |)#?ri(id, won't the concnr-
rtnu advice of all lilt M^sociates, thinly you, de-
Dtr<>v llie balance ni onre?

Sir Chri*. Very pnibably, Tom, I confess.
Rat, An to our enginrft, there is nu ftrar ol
tttnn, Billy Rutt/ia you haTc.undcr your thumb :
ni purcbiuc a pipe of port of De Jnrwy, and
WT lire sure of old Sbur Crout fur a bumper ol
hock.

Sir C^r'u. RiBbt. ricbt ; bur. nfter all, what i*
to liecuiiie of tJie girlf Cume, Tuin^ I'll ba«c tw
foul play shown lober.

Jlat. llcr teal bappio
ject.

F.ntrr Fillcp.

FiU. Here be Mynbeer Soar Croat •md ]
seer IV jHrsoy a cuuie.

•Sir i'ftru, \\c will nitrnd tlwtn — nidy
Turn, what a villaiu ynu vtill ttc lu nuke ■•]
secret instnnnntt of way more mitcbUrf !^

Rar. Never fear. ^^

Sir CAriA. PariiaiUrly, too, now I amtiicdli
reffinn.

Nur. It would be crimitMil in the laebert it-
pier-

Sir Vhrit. Ay. rot ytiur hypocntital &fe 1 1
am bnirafnnd, T*rtU. lo tru*l yoa : IM be lBi|^
t-d, it «ou liun't some wii-Keii dvai^n yooneL' ea
ttie girl; but, himever, 1 «aL«b my hands of ifar

Rtif. My dmr knir:hi, linu t be lo a^atawih;
hilt — the cfu'.lentctt within — rtay — who h«e«e
here— ^Ali, my old friend Mo«tcr Bnww— ■■

Enter Bi:'nov.

Put. Your worship t* w«>lromc lo urn*— bl
where U vt — Oh — I undcrrtood as bow ywv
tinnnur h»d *(nt fur me nil in a bum. I tbsaU
bive brmfchl die pjitirni* before, it' t hart d«a;
itn; wor^l of my nir-nir* c.tii'l 5ay but Hilly IbV
ion i"- piiiK-iunl; Iwre tite* be ! I rrtreiird tkra
io-ui}:ht by Wiltshiic's wagijon. that ilies in c^
davK

.Sir CAm. To-'.nurrow, Billy, will du; tiies
seat.

Rut. I Imd railier staixl

Str Chrit. 1 wanted in talk to you aponov-

tJH-r ufliiif- ^*hal. 1 supprtse, yoa art nry

bii<>y at prt!>ent?

Itut. Vast bim, your honoar.

Str Clfru. This marriage, 1 rcfdino, taka V
tu<nt of vour lime f

hut. VoUr liommr !

Rar. MiM Linnet, and your old MMicrlliit.
^■m know.

Itut. Oh. ny ! Imt tlie w^uire 6oc% tmt imetJ
lu rul ada^b till the spriii<>.

SirC.ftfii- No! nothing happened? I hift
affiirs an- nil lisi-d?

Hut. A» n mc k ; I (im snr*» mrx, it«"*
fail ; bcciia«e why I hnvi- percuipiorv urdrf» »
scoiir cind new line the cHinrlmuin and fnunrnB*
old frock* : and ant, be*K|K«, in toro tl* !«♦
and rr[-<>h button the suit bis iMnour
twen'V venn- aeo cotne» ncKt Lent, wbea i»i
sberil" (nr the iwuntv-

Rn., Nnv, tkon. It isdecerminrd.

Bh'. Orlic wuuld iHiTrr ha*«! isntkc totwii*
ex pence.

Sir drift. Well, Billy ! und wH« ti yowf*
vate opiniun, afur all, of Uus inatdi '

Foots.]

BlllTISn DRAMA.

I

But. It it not becoming^ your liunnur Itttowi,
for a Irwlesninii like inp ui giro liis ■ —

Rae. U'liv II. >t? »l.m'( you thiiiL iiow, Billy, it
M a bold uixki'tukiiu for a luaii nt hU time uf
life?

ifu/. Why. to lie »urp, lus hurniur w a lilUe
Mnckcii ill \t:iir», lu u liutlv mny »»v ; ntid take
■tl tiiu carv lliut urie ciiu, umc ^^itl ucu* the nit|t
from cvcu ftii[KTfiiie clniU : ktitclK.*s u-ar, and cl-
itowi mil ftut, ns they wiy.

^ir ('AWi. Aiitl LicsidCA, nill, tlic brittc's a
ncrr ImUijt !

ft(j/. Dttt<^ hcticr, ymir Imimiir ! I>tit »Kc i^ ii
lislit lilt tif »tuii^ uml i am ci>iittJcitt u ill turn
4itit well 111 iliti wriiriii^ — [ oiicc liuci iotuu
tiv>ii^til4 inrbcll nf takiiis nH-usun; ut' imM.

U»c. IiiHcci !

ij«r. Yi-t; tiiitl, t'< inir tliiiiking. hud mitile a
pretty tfiMid jM-.i^rt-M; l» atus«% wliy, ni cliutxl)
n(^ tt huiidny, ^Itu sUtrt-fL-d me (a luoli I'ur tin- lc»-
Mins Olid miitXNtvrr, ni4iiy tiiiu' and ult vti liavu
•nri(( pMiliti-4 uiit uf tlic tLTy imiiiii book.

JJi*f. That ws^ K')iii^ u jirttil wav.

Hut. ^.ty, iK'ii'k-s n>iil iiii)rc tttaii iitl lliat, ihc
hnsf Nt Oti& |ii'eriiiti4 luiiiutc u\' liiiu-, a |iiiicii9Jiiuii
!»y luT side «tf my <iwn presciilntioir.

itac. Ay ! ttiitl t)i>M cuiiir llie Cicnty brukc
off?

Btit- Why, who siMxitd step in, in the nick, but
tlie very M)uirr liiin»el}''

Sir Chru. 1 nm ufrtiid, Bill^ your beauty is i
lilUe bitnrtiicjili.

But. "Sit, your uronbip, it is all nl<>ii<; with her
motlier; cauw l)*rr (rrcnl aunt, by Ikt fulheA
^i^iti, WTia II clergyman's dnuglilcr, btie i^s u% |)nu{-
iiiatic nitd pruud a^ the Puptr ; »o, lor»o<tttt, iii»-
chiiie (till pleaM! liL-rfur luiss, but n bit uC'iualitv
binding.

Mac. I kntw Uic rpfusnl could not rome (emn
the girl ; lor, without a wmiplimeiit, Hilly, there
t« iti> compuriMii) between ynu and ^ — why
voo arc a pretty, sliuht, light, lij^ht, uimble

Hut, Ye»— *try uiuiblc tiiid slight, and we nre
both ot' a iMUitlu — lut. ha, ha !

SirChrU. Why, h'»c Imi made Uilly a pact!

But. No, nu; quite an accident, u 1 hope to
br kiued.

Rtic. And vonr rival is % fusty, fnggy, lumbcr-

But. For all the world like my {(oose: plafDjp
hot, «ud dniiiiit-d laavy, your hunour I

Sir CA/iJ. Why Hilly bluxos lii-iluy !

Bat. And thoui;h uiy puiM', nuyhup, bcn't so
hc»<ry a* liii'ii, yet I coiitri%e to (tay t.icry Iwdy
llH'ir DWii.

Hue. 1 dare uy.

Hut, Ay, and hare tieaides two Iwuws in
AviHi*StreiH; and, |K-rliHp^ u bit of tuu of* land
in a LTirnt-T.

Sir Cf*ru. O [ the cunnudgeoiily rnj;uc !

But. AnJ, utoreuver, if Maiinin IJnntt talk*
of Idmittci, 1 would hmc her lo kiuiur, that f
have pimert'ul relations as well ti» hem?!)' —
tlterc*A T'MUiny Hulton, my uncle'b own M>n, tlmC
lins an cnipl'iyuiciit under the ^tvernuicnc

Str C^rir. Ay, Utity. what i»it?

But. M this very time he ■• nn exci»einan at
Wiippin^; iinti, besides, there Ji my c/>u9in Paul
TuiF, iliitt kept ibc great paMryconk'ft %hnp in
liie .Straml, nuw lives at Brciitruid, and u tmidc a
jUBticr ufilM- p«i(.-e.

Hac. Ai this is the cnse, I dnn't think it will
be dilliciilt yet lo hrin^ nuliL-n lu bi'ar.

Hir t'ftrii. If Wily will but folium dircctiufi*.

Bui. I hope your honour itever foond me do-
ficieiii.

Sir Chrii. Wu will instruct you farther wlthiiu
Miijur lUrket, your haiKl.

But. Let me help you; folks may go farther
and fare worse, u» they say — why, i have soma
thoughts, if J can call in my debt>t, to retire into
ll)0 ciutitry, and set up fur n gt;iit1ciiinii.

Ilac. Why mil ! one meets n-iih a c^rcat num-
ber of tJMini, wtio were never bied to (he buai*
oc»s.

But. I ao't much uf n mechanic at present ; I
dues but just nicssurc and cul.

Bac. No !

But. I don't think that I hare sat crosvlcgged
for llicse su year*.

Rac. indetrd !

But. And wlio can tell, your honour, in a few
years, if I l>elinves well, but. like cousin PufT, I
mny get my^lf put in the commissinn.

Sir Ckri%. The worshipful William Button,
Esquire — it suundi well. I can tell Toii, Klly;
there have been outgUtrate> imide ol full as bad
naterials as yon.

[Sxnnt,

M8

BRITISH DRAMA.

(FOOTK

ACT IL

SCENE I. 1

I

I

Enter Mls Lixslt amd Mias. I

3Jrt Un. Yes KittT, it is io rain to denj it. 1 1
am convinced llterc is faoine little, tow, paltrj
pas»inn, that lurLs in jour heart.

Mia Lin. lodccd, luydcar mother, too «roi^ I
me. I

Hn tin. Indeed, inj dear miss, bat I don't ; .
what else could induce you to reject the addresses
of a Imer like this? Ten tI>ousand pounds a year !
G»ds mr life ! there ik itot a lady in town would
refute tuin, let bcr rank be erer so

jyia li*. Not his fortune, I firmly belicre.

Mrt Lilt3^Vell ; and who, now-a-days, marries
any tlunp ele? Would you refuse an estate, be-
cause it happened to be a little encumbered ?
You must consider the man in this case as a
kind of mon^^e.

3fui lin. But the disproportion of years —

Mn Lin. In your favour, child; the incum-
brance will be the Mxioer removed.

Mia Lilt. Then, my dear motlier, our minds;
bow TCry widely they differ ! ray nature is liberal
and frank, tbouE;h I am but a little remored from
mediocrity; his heart, in the very bosom of
wealth, is slwt to e%ery social sensation

Mr$ Lin. And yet, miss, this heart you have
had the good luck to unlodi. I hope you don't
urge bis offers to you as a.proof of his passou
fur money? why, you forget yourself, Kate;
who, in the name of n-otider, do you think vou
are? what, because vou have a taby fac^ and
can bawl a few ballads

Miu Litt. Nay, madam, you know I was nerer
vain of my talents; if they can procure me a
decent support, and in some measure repay my

fatlitir and you for their kind cultivation

. Mrs Lin. And how lung are you sure your
talents, as you call them, will serve you ? Arc a
itet of features si^cure against time ? won't a single
sore throat destroy the boasted power of your
uipe? But suppose that should not fail, who can
insure you ngiiinst the whim of the public ? will
tliey always continue tlicir fa*'our?

MiurlAn. Perlmps not.

Mrs Liu. What must become of you then ?
now, by tbis nieans you are safe, above the reach
of ill-fortiine. Besides, child, to put your own
interest out of the question, have you no tender
feelings for us? Consider, my love, you don't
want' for pood nnture; your consent to this
match wiii, in the worst of times, secure a firm
and able friend to the family.

3-1111 Lin. Vou deceive yourself, indeed, my
dear mother; he, a friend ! I dare believe the
first proof you will find of bis frieiid&bip, will be

bis pcritive cwiaaaJi Io beak (iff all tjuricyj-
eoce with eicn i^alioa I bare.

Mrs Urn. lijat's a Hkely skot, iodeed !— >
Well, child, I mast act tout f^Agtx to mvk; I
find nfaai tittle «e^i^ mj ■rgBmews bavc-

[Ladt CATaEBiirECtH-bSTftKAM KtrAoaf.]
Is Mrs Linnet within ?

Mrs Lin. Oh ! here cxmes a prateetmi of
yotir^ lady Cattterine CoUaivaiD ; sahait dw
matter tuber; she csv bare no viewi^ n^mA
read in tlie ways of tbe world, aod has root a.-
tcrest siocerety at heart.

Enter Ladt Catbarixe Cchjistrcav.

I^idy Cutk. How is aw «i too, Mcstms Uo-
nct and miss? wbat a dykeos is the matter «i
:ni»? — slie seems got quite in ttie duiKH. I
t hoiii:!)! voo were aw readv tn Jump oot of yoar
alius at tbe bonny prospect afore voa.

Mrs Ijn. Indeed, I wish your Udvslnp would
lake Kilty to task, for what I can say s^iin
n')thin<;.

Lad^ Caik. Ati, that's aw wran^ ; wlnt hat
been the matter. Miss Kitty? yuu ken well eaatr
that children owe an implicit cxmceauoD tn tbeir
parentis — it is na for baims to litigate tlte will of
their friends?

Mrs lAn. Especially, my lady, in a case ohm
their own happiness is so ncarU cnncemed:
there is no persuading her tu accept Mr Miol'i
offers.

Ijidtf Catk. tiad's mercy, miss, how comes a«
(hisaho'jt? dinna you think you tme drawn I
braw ticket in the lottery of life ? do na foo ka
that the mon is the laird of nw ttic land ia die
country ?

Miu Ijn. Your ladyship knows, madam, dm
real hnppiness does nut depend upon wealth.

Lad^^ Vath. Ah, miss, but it is a boooT ie-
gredient ! don't you think, Mrs IJnuel, the ha
has got some other lad iti tier liead ?

Jlirf Liti. Your ladyship joins in judfpDeot
with me ; I have cliarged her, but siie stouiif
denies it.

Ladif Calk. Miss, you munnn be bash5il; »s
you solicit a cure, your physician must ken (^
cause of your malady.

Miss Lin. Your ladyship may believe oif!, ns-
dam, I have no eomplaint of that kind.

Ladtf Cath. The lass is obstinate; Mesm^
Linnet, cannot yoursel gi a guc^s?

JIXr« Lin. I can't say that I ha\-e ohserrfd-
indeed, same time ago, I was iaciined to bdiete
Mr Button ■

Lady Catk. What, yon taytor in Stall-strMt?
ah, Mrs Linnet, you arc aw' out in your p|M-
the lass is ow*r wcel bred, and ow'r saucy »>£> ^

FOOTE.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

54»

I

hcmrt lo lik a bni^is as lie. Willy Duttoa ! nae,
be is nae titc lait uvnM.

Atn Ltn, Miijtn- llackcl, I diue llmut'lit — I'ut
\our taUy»bip Uiima hn alhim twtk a dittcrciit
tuni.

iMdifCatk. Alt, liackvc! tliAi't knnther ni:in*».
iiiQlicr ; liittCi »rr npf mow en »cr tlie'rr iK'aris
upon scnriet ; u corkufic hui inurkie chnrmt ui
our Ml 1 well, iti»t, iifuics the mud t'ni llmt
«.-uriier !

Mm Urn. 1>«K*« vmir Indv^liip tliiiik, tu dt^ik«
Mr Flinr. ti is nbMnuttity ncct-vtarv to have » prt-
IHMMTvUiXi for suutehnriy else i

hutltf t'ath, \\r% LiniiLt) uii yun will \*'ititdraw
for B wliilc. perliu|)» mm ituiy tlin»T lift' Ikt u-
■cnc, whi'ii llicrt'S iiulnidy Uy dul iiiipM-Ui-i; n
nfttlicr, yuu kirti uccif luny prmc uiic uw'r aiuiiy
ftoiiiruiiica.

jl/ri /.IN. Vinir tuity«l)ip U nio%t rKCcrdintily
ki»d-~<l'ye Itnr Kiuy. mind ulmt licr la^lyilnp
kiiy» ; <lu, my «k>r.r, ttml It' i-ulclliy yiHir lVirnd<i;
tbcv tire older utid vr'iyfr ilmn yu. [KjH.

iMits i.'nth. Wt'llt inivs wlttii'* tlir cuu>c <il' nw
thi»^ t^liii' make* yuu m avcrac hi tbc wUl of
your friciiiU?

Jfui Li». Your lndy%liip knows Mr Fliiii?

iMiif Coth. All, unrit wed.

JUtM JLj'/j. C'iui yuiir Uidy>uip ilicn be at u Ium
for k cuiJ'o ?

ZarfV C^th. I mtinn say Mr Fliitc t*t qiti:c uti
Adoiim ; liiit wim i» <t tint in uiatriinuitv v~*-'*> aw
they *Hti-' Wiicii 1 iiui-riuiiritcdwitbsirl^iJnrclDt
CotdUrenro, I was itn 'ick n »prw liina as your-
spl ; and lli« baritiirt bunlfriii^ tijHUi lii^ in~Jti<l
cJittiactvMc; yctu mun ken. miss "ly t'ntltvr wn>
feo umniiAV *% to 1:11111* out tviili Ch^irlfy in the
fortT-tine, itft^r mIiu-Ii. hi* lidclily «;n rovnnlpil
ill Fmtii'c l>y h c>>iiitiii»<AiL()i, thwt did iin liiin^ in
m l>M\vl>cr-, mid b pt-n-'iont tint hv lu'vur v>n^ puul.

Miu iJn. Iiifum-tu^ iiitmiitmle .'

iL«(/v Cti/A. Av, but i diiiim think thcjr will
liutl our owirc »ic Tonls )u tbc oortb.

Mia lUa. I li'ipi? mrt.

i^«/_9 t'ofA. Alter diis, you cniimi tliiiikt mitt»,
there nns ciiickle f>il!cr I'nr we pixir t>airi)fr iltat
wen* left ; *u (h»i. in irolli. I wio (ibd tn i:i't mi
«fetiilflishti>ciii; itid ne'er heeded the di»|inrity
bctwetii nt^ tutdniaii niul iiiywl.

Aliu fju. Your l>uiyUiip pvve grew proofs
of your prudoiKe; but my aQiiin ure nut alt4>>
^•tticr at* dr^fitTHlc.

J*.(/» to'A. t Mut'H-niorry, mitts ! I hope yiw
(liimn iiinkr a«y coiuparikun U-lwii'ij lady C'n-
tiiaiinc (.'oldMrctUki, wh.t biu tItc bcM U«hkI m
j^otlniMl tbut 1-1113 lu Ikt vein* —

MUf 1am. 1 iHipu yuur ImtyUup docs not Mip-
ptwe —

l^Jp Cath. A InOy limwlly tleacaiid«d froui
the ;;rritt Ihwui luni^elf, una nllicd to aw the
Uluttriiiua b'lUMM iibntad iind nt li«>iite

Mia Lilt. 1 beg, luutum, yvur ladyship -

hui^ Cath. Ami Kttty IJnnet ! a little pky
;vctiir, wlia ^et» nppluLi'ieit, ur biucd, ju»l v'cii as
iIk' luobiluy Hitllh !

iUiu LtH. 1 na\ extremely concerned that—

Ltidit Cath. Look'e. hum. I will cut mnton
Hhiin*. yiiu ken well cnuw, the lir»t notice tluiteVr
t look of you, was in your HCiiiii; in Allan ll»Uf
«iy'« pluy 01' Pmie and litigi-r i ere nne I ba»
been yiior fnsl fn«-nd; but itn yuu coiiliitue ohvci-
iiale. iiud will iia »uceunib, 1 »ball ■tmituith
withdraw my pruteciiun.

Alum Lin. i Bhall be rxlrcioely unliappy in
lotting your Indysliip't fiirour.

Ltf/fi Ctttk Ma*, that ilepeiuJt entirely on
your<l.

Min Urn. Weil, mndnm. (w n pn^uf Iiow highly
I rate it, and buw iteMrnuk 1 am of obeyiiii; tlie
eommmids of my parrnit, it t.haii'i tie my fault if
their ui^hc^ arr nut ^(.-e^lnpti^hcd.

L-ui/y Cttih. 'I1itii'!> iiw rit:ht now. Kitty : p me
a kiwt, you nre rlie prudent ln%^ lliut I tliaii]:ht
you. lAve, tni««, '\s a |iMUmie tor imy* mid crawn
(;irl»; aw »lut)' tit fur iiatlnni; but liovcit mid ru-
iii|ui(,'e»; iliert- it nalbioi; MJid, niic stability.

Mtn tjit. Miulam

iMiiir Cntk. But to lix your fortune at once, to
i:ct alxne tlic p-iwer gl' tiie world ; that, chikl. i*
a >ertou> utitceni.

Mrs LiKKtrr [H'l/Aouf.]

With your Indystup'* leave

Lfidt/ Calh. You nmy come in, Mra Lionet ;
your dftoulitLT iH broufiht to h pnijHT tense of Iter
duiv. and i* I'c.-uly to coiucide uilb your wi&lt.

.l/ri fJn. We are ioliiocely nblit:e<l to your
tady«'ii|>; ihi» i* lu'i;y imltH-d ; Mr Mint is uow,
R)iiil;iiu, Ik'luw, ftitd l>ef;» t'l Ik: adniitled,

Ijidy Cath. ,\h \ iIk uuhi coiuea in the nick:
<tlK-w IJin HI ill ibe in>taut.

fEriV Mrs Limmt.
Now KittyS your time; diiina W shy, lass, but
thruw out Qw your attrnctimn, and 6x him that
he cuuua (iiaity mick.

A/ifl O'a. Mailmn, 1 ho|ic 10 behave—-

l^iiij/ Cath. C/iid's mercy. hot% the ^irl treaililei
imil quaked ! rome, plurk up u heart, aud ootni-
fb r \(iur aw 19 at »tMe.

Min IJh, I am afraid I shall be hardly abl«
lo «av n MPj:le

I^J*I Cath. Suppote, then, you bin]c : i;i* him a
<uiii!:; there it, rnHhin;; ntove^ n luve-»ick loon mair
tbnn a Min; — [Nai»t uitktmt.] I hear tltc lad
oil the iiDirt; but Ice die wurd^ be aw meltio|;
and ftaft — ihr Soitcli tuueo, you ken, are tmro
paTbctu: ; buxfi hiiti the liirkh of Kndcntiay, or
the UtiKi of Ualtcndiiie, or tlic

Enttr Fi.i»T and Mas Tjnkct.

MaiMer Flint, ynur venranr. There, «ir, yoo kea
the lit».^ of yoar bean; I have lud for jm a

550

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FOOTB.

pretty wbd foandatMO ; bat, m to the edifice,
yoa tnuH e'en treci it yiwrsel.

'[Ejif Ladt Catbebisc.

/*/<«/. PicaM *oar ladrihip, 1 will rio mj eT>-

ilesvcwr. Sladam J jonet, I hate inaile bold to

bnm^ Tou a prcMrnt, a Mtioll paper ut' tes, iu mj

pocirt-'jiju will onlrr tbc t^a-kcttle uu.

Jfn XJn. O, sir, ytm ticed utit have

Flint. I won't ptit yni to jut cipcwe:,

Wrll, mtM, I urMlcivand here by my lady, that
that tiie, that it, that vou, with n-spcct and rc>

gard v> the alt. ah — won't you pleaw to be

seated f

ilitt Urn. Sir ! — my lover ftcctm as coofuftcd
■• nir»elt'. [AmuU.

Flint. I lay, miM, that, as I w«t saying, your
fricuds here bare spoke to yoa all bow and aboat
it.

Miu Urn. About it! about what?

Flint. About this here business, that I onoic
■boot. Pray, miu, are you fund of tlie couotry ?

Miu Urn. Of the country i

Flint. Ay ; because wliy, I think it i5 the
rooKt prettie<it place for yoar true Uwers t^i live
in^sotnethinj; »o rural ; for my part, I can't see
what pleawre prettv miii.'ics can lake in f^llop*
in% to plays, and to ftttlls, and such expensive va-
earies; ihcre is ten limes nvjre pastiaie in fetch-
11^ walks in the ficld^ in plucking of daisies^-

miu JJn. Haymaking, feeding the poultry,
and milking the cows?

Flint. Hi|^ht, miss.

Miu Lin. It must be owned they are pretty
eniployTnents for ladieq.

Flint. Yes ; for my mother used to say, who,
between ourselres, was a uotaUe housewife,

Your folks that are idle.
May live to bite the bridle,

Miu Flint. What a happiness to have been
bred under so prudent a parent !

Flint. Ay, miss, you will hare reason to say
so ; her dmudis have put many a pound into my
pocket.

MiM$ Lin. How does that concern me f

Flint. Because why, as the saying is,

Though I was the maker.
You may be the partaker.

Miu lin. Sir, vou are very obliging,

Flint. I can tell vou, such ofien are not every
day to be met witn; unly think, miss, to have
victuals and drink consuntly found you, without
COM or care on your side ; especially, now, meat
is BO dear.

Mitt lin. Conuderations by no means to be
flighted.

Flint. Moreover, that you may live, and ap-
pear tike my wife, I fully intend to keep you a
OTMfh,

Jfjif Un, lodeed !

Flint. Yes; nd yoa ibadl i ■■■lai dKhorK*
wlxnetCT «'m please, onicM duriog rise harvest.
and wheo they are employed m pka^hsng md
cartine ; tieratiM: the maim cfaaoce OMSSt be mind-
ed, you kuow.

Jliu ijn. Tmc. troe.

Flint. IIrmi^Ii I doti't tfan^ too w31 be vasdy
fund of cnacfaine ab^jtit ; for why, we are <jM of
the turnpike, aiid the roads are deadly deep
about we.

Mat Lin. What, yoa intend to reside in the
country ?

Ht.U. Without dnuht; for tlien. Miss, 1 shaU
be 4ure (o have you all to myself.

Mia Un. Ad a&ctiooate modre — bal eves
in this l>appy &iate, where tbe oMist perfect anion
prevails, sonie solitary hoars will iotrode, and
tbc time, now and then, bang heavy oo oor
hands.

FUmt. What, in the comtrv, mtj dear nias?
not a minute — yoa will find aU pastiaie aad jol-
lity there ; for what with minding tbe dury,
dunning the tenants, preserriog aud picklirz,
nurune the childteo, scolding the servants, niead-
ii^ and niakiiic;, roastii^, boiling, and baking, yoa
won't have a luomcnt to ^pore ; yut> will be Dtcrry
and liappy as the days are long.

Mist Lin. I am afraid the days will be hardly
long enough to execute so extensive a pbm of
enjo) ment.

Flint. Never you fear ! I am told, miss, that
you write an exceeding good hand.
Jlfi« Lin. Prcttjr well, I believe.
Flint. Then, miss, there is more plcasore in
store ; for you may employ any leisure time that
yoa have in being my clerk, as a justice of peace
— you shall share sixpence out of every warrant,
to buy any little thing that you want.

Miu Lin. That's finely imagined ! As yoor
enjoyments are chiefly domestic, I presume you
have conirired to make home as convenient as
can he ; you have, sir, good ganlenB, no doubt ?

Flint. Gardens ! ay, ay; why, before the grcak
parlour window there grows a couple of jews, a*
tall as a mast, and as ttiick as a steeple ; aiHi ^
boughs cast so delightful a shade, that yoo can't
see your hand in any part of the room.
Miu Lin. A most delicate glooui !
Flint. And then there constantlv roosts in
the trees, a curious couple of owls, which 1 vroo't
suffer our folks to disturb, as they make so nirat
a noise in the n^ht— -

Miu Lin. A most charming duet !
Flint. And besides, tnisa, they pay for their
lodgings, as they are counted very good moosen
you know.

Miu Lin. True ; but within doon, your mao-
aion is capacious, and—

Flint. Capacioas! yes, yes, capacious eoon^;
you may stretch your legs without crosaiiig tbe
threshold ; why, we go up and down stairs iotp
erei7 room ofth^hom to be sure, m prtKii^

FOOTE.^

BRITISH DRAMA,

51

I

I

it U ft littU; out of repair: not llint it rninB in,
witcre lite citM*fUf nt» arr wlmlv, ut nbovr tivr or
KLX plRix* at prrM?nt.

ASiu Lin. Viiur prospects nrr plciiitnc; ?
Flint. Fruiii (iff llie t/ip <»r tlic lenrlit ; for whvi
t Itarc boardcfl up rnu^t uf (lie winrfawk, in or-
der ta Mire povinj* tlic tux ; but, to my tlitnkins,
our bcft-ctiaiiihcr, iniu, i» Uic most pleaaanteat
plarr in titc hotiM*.

.\fiu Un. Olt, air, you nrc vrry |*olitc.

h'tint, Nin iTiiw, it IS nut t'ur (lint; but you
miiM liiuiw, llml ihrrL- in a \sircc Ixiw windfm fn-
cin^ ittc cut, that docs iincly \\>r drytric of hcrtn;
it is liung rmind uilh hntrlimtiilMtf all the Inlks
that tinvc riicil iti llto Iniuiiy; ami ttivn the pi-
|eoivtiou<fe IK nvrr our hcadt.

iUti* Lin. 'rhv pi^'nii-liouM! I

tfitt. Yrs; ami tlierc, ererj- nmmiiig, we ulinll
be waked liy dny-brcok, with tlii-ir uiiiriiiuniig,
conttif;, and courting, that will maLc it as line as
con he.

Mm tin, Ravialiinj; ! XS'cll, Sir, it must be
c^nfctM^d, you tiarc (tivcn cue n m(M bcwiiclnntt
picture t>r |Kt6rc)rat ItiV; yuur nlncr is n pcrfetrt
Arcndia — hut [ :uii nrniid halt ihv chtinn* nrc
deritott rmni the painter's llnticnn;: pencil.

Fiinl. Nnl iMitihtfncd a hit, ■» v'>iirM-tf ftlnll
be jtutgf — and itirn, gs tn the company, iniM,
yoo msf have pleniy nl' tlinl when you will, for
iM h^ivo a» pri tty n nvij^litfOurlioiKl ui n body emu
wish.

MiuUn, IleallyP

Flint. TIkcre i* llie nitlnw KildrrLin, that
Ucf p4 the Ailara and K»c nt iJh; t-nd nf ti>e town,
tjuiic an nKrei'whle Uidv, indeed — thf dcilh nt'
tiiT hiiHljnnd ha^ dn>v<.- iKe piKir woman ir> lipplf
a bit — lariucr Do^^^)iIl^' dau(;hTtT», and ilui-ior
Surplifre. nur curate, and nitV, o van mnversablr
iriiina*), if ilie was nni iilti>;:clhL'r m> dtruf.

-l/u* /jirt. A very sociahle tct ! — wbv. wr, pla-
rpd in ihi^ panidis*-, then' i» iiuthing icfl yoti tu
Vrhh.

J■V#•^ Ve^ mi**, hut there it>

AfiM /./n. Ay? what can that he?

Flint. The yen mhim? ihnt «\ir (•mndrnthcr
hiid — It) hftvc a heMiiiilul Kve bv mv tide — Could
I Iciid the luvcly Unnct, ni>(liin); loatli, to tliat
bower

A/iM lUn. Oh, i-tceM iif csltnntr* !

Flint. Woidd her *>wrci breatli but deigo to
kitMlle, and bloM up mv h<ipr».'

Miu Ijn. Oil, Mr Vhnt ! I inu^t not MifTer
thi<, TiH- ynur sake; a person ufyour itnportaace
nnd nink

Flint. A young nusi of your great luerit uml
bcnuiy——

Mitt Ijh. a gcutleinan k> aLX'oitijtliklied nnd

ridi

Flint. WImw perfcrrion* are nnt only ih» (nil:
of Halh, but of Uriatul, and tliv w hold ruunlry
^ounJ.

Mrt Uh. Ob, Mr Tliot, this U too

Flint. Ilcr goodness ber grace, her duty, her
decency, her wimIoih, and wit; her shape, ilinw
nci-s, and ttze, with ht r lovely black eyr8 ; so ele-
Cuni, etWBfinit <^* modest, so prudent, su pious ;
nnd, if 1 am rie^tly itifonnea, possessed of a
sweet prfllv pipe.

AUu Lin. This IS such a profiuion

Flint. Permit tue. miss, to Mtlicit a spedmcn
of ynur delicate talents.

Mitt Lin. Why, sir, as your cxtmvogftnl com-

ftlimcnia luve Ic^t me nothing to aay^ 1 tfaiuk the
w>t thing 1 cnn do is lo &ing.

SONG.

Tlte smiliiig morn, the breathing ^mn^
Invite tlie tunct'ul birds to sing;
And, OS ilicy warWe from each spray,
Luvf roi'itii the universal lay, &c.

Flint. ICnchnntine ! ravishing Bounds f not the
uine Mu»es themselves, nor Mrs Baddeley, is
equnt to you.

Mits Lin. Oh, fn !

Flint. May I (latter myself, that the wordf of
that wne were directed to mc ?

Mm Lin. Hbniild 1 make such a confession, T
fcliould ill downo the dunicter yoo hare been
pleased to bestow.

£a/rr Lady CtTnAni^ic Colo»tceam.

Jutdy I'al/i, Come, coine, Maister Flint, I'll
s^t your Iteart at rest in an instant — you ken well
eiiow, Ibfmts arc apt tr> Itc modest and «hy; then
take lirr luihwer i'ra mc — prepare the ministrr,
and aw the r(»l uf llie lacUet and you nill find
ut> ready to |r:iiig Cn tl>e kiri,

Fltnt. Mis*, may I rely uD wtwt her Udyihip
say*?

Lady Cnth. Cad's merry ! I think the man is
bewiirhed ! he uonna take a woman itf rjualitys
word fur sik a Irithnp thing as a wife !

Flint. Vniir hidyship will impute it all to my
fean~^— llicn 1 wdl strait set about getting tba
l>e<'dful,

Ijtd^ Cath. Gang your gait as fast as you
lilt.

Flint. L<ord bless us ! I luid like tn hate fnr-
gut — I have, please ynur ladyship, ptii up here
in a purse, a few presents, ilmt, if misa would
deicn lo juxtpt— —

Xin/f Cu/A. Ah! thai'* aw right, quite in the
iwdcr uf lhitii;<>; ns inntltr* nuw stand, there ta
no hann in Iter accept mi; prescnu fr« you, nw*-
ler Flini ; vnu mat iifo«h»ce.

Fhut. ifire is arortoUeUo pocket-piece of
Aihnirol Vcrnoii, nitb his image a one hide, mkI j
su men of war, all in full wil, on the other

l^tltf Vath. That's a curiuus medallioru

Flint. And here is half a crowu uf qncetf
Annc'oi as freah a5 when it caiuc from the tuiu^—

959

BRITISH DRAMA.

[FOOTB.

Lady Cath. Ycs, yes, it is in Tenr fine prcsrr-
Tatiiin.

Flint. In this hrre paper, there are two n>o«m-
ing ririp; that, which my aunt Bothcr'cin left
me, might ser^e very well, I should think, for the
ap)>riiachin<; happy occasion.

JMdy Vafft. How ! a monmins

Flint. Because why, ih« motto's so pat ;
' True till death shall stop ray breath.'

Ladi/ C-ath. Ay, ay, that contains mickle iiio-

rality, mif-s.

Flint. And here 15, fourthly, a silver coral and
bells, wiih only a bit broke off the coral when I
was cutline my grinders. This wai given nie by
my podt'ather Slinfisby, and I hope wilt be in use
again before the year comes about.

iMdt/Calhr Na doubt, na doubt; leave that
matter to ks — I warrant we impede the Flint fst-
raily from fawirig into nbliviim.

Flint. I hof>e so— I should be glad to hare a
son of my own, if so be, hut to leave him my
fortune ; because why, at present, there is no mor-
tal that I care a farthing abouL

Lady Cath. Qnite a pliilosnpbcr ! tbea £s<

patrh, master Flint, dtspalch ; for joa ken, iC
your time oi life, you banoa a moiDent to low.

Flint. True, true ; your ladyship's entireir de-
voted— Miaa, I am voar most afiiectiuimte slavf.

\Ltit.

Lady Cath. A saacr lad, this Master TliM;
you see, mias, be ba^ a meaoing io aw that be
docs.

Miss Xtn. Might I be perviiiied to titer ««

ladv^hip's words, I should rather sny, metoaes.

tudy Cath. It is na mickle matter what At

mon is at present ; wi* a littJe fnattz^enxM, m

may tnnld mm into any form that yon list.

Miu Lim. I am afraid he is not nade of aA
pliant materials; but, however, ] have too&rai-
\ anced to retire ; the die is caftt — I bate te
clinnce now, unle« my Corydoo shoald hqipei

to alter his mind

T^dif Catk. Na, mifts; there is na daafrrii

tliut ; you ken the trr.->tv i^ concluded under d*

I mrdiatii'm; an he stiuiild thire to draw lark, bdy

j Calhnriiie ColdHream would soon find naeamo

I punish his perfidy Come away, ausa,

[£imr.

ACT III,

SCENE I. — StR Christopher Cripplf, Sour
Crout, De Jarsey, Major Racket, and
PoiJLTiCL, dtKovered tilting at a table.

Sir Chr. Wf. must take care, that Flint docs
not surprise us, for the scoundrel is very suspi-
cious.

Rac. There is no danger of that — I lodged
him safely at linnet's — Button stands centry nt
the end of the street, sn thnt \vc shall be instant-
ly appris^nd of everr motion he makes.

Ponl. Well mantu£ed, my ilajor !

Sir Chr. Yes, yes ; the cunning young dog
knows vrrv well what he is about.

Sour Craut. Upon my word. Major Racket
has very tine disposition to make a figure at dr
bead of' dc anny ; five or mx German campaicns
will — ah, d&t is de best school in de vorld for
make de var.

.Sir Chi: rive or ?ix German campaigns !

Sour Crout. Ay, Chevalier ; vat you say to
dat»

Sir Chr. O Mynheer ! nothing at all a

German war, for ouplit I know, may be a very
good school, but it's a damned expensive educa-
tion for us.

Dr Jar. C'cst vrat. Chevalier, dat is all troe,
cct pay la dal place is the firave for the French-
man and de fine English guinea.

Sir Chr. True, Monsieur; but our guineas are
rather worse off than your men, for tbey stand
no chance of rising again.

VeJar. Ua, ha, ba! dat is rery well le

Chevalier have beaiicoup d'esprit, grcatdeil tt
nit, ma fni.

Rac. I think the knight is in lade — bat ^'V
let us lose sipht of our subject. Yon, pat^
men, arc all prepared, perfect in the serai'
parts vou are to play }

All Ay, ay.

Rac. You, Mynheer Sour Crout ?

Sour Crout. I understand — I will pqoe )it
hommr — the pride of his fauiillc.

Rtic. Right; Poultice

Pout. I will alarm him on the sde ii ^
health.

Sir Chr. Next to his money, the thir^ia ^
world be most minds.

Rue. You, De Jarsry, and Button, will «»
ploy alt your eloquence on the prudential mJccI
the — Oh, drnr Jarsey ! here is a dimft &r it
pipe of port that I promised.

Dr Jcr. Dat is right.

Rue. The only receipt to get bawds, bani«h
or FrenchfueQ. [Atide.j — Oil, here Billy <

Enter Button.

Well, Billy, what news ?

But. I ara vast afraid all mattm Mt c»
eluded at lat^t.

Rac. Ay! prithee, why so?

But. Because why, in ten minutes aftff J^
went, out bolted the squire, and hany x*^
away to lawyer Lattitat s, wbo, you kiiow,Hic*
his tenants, and does all bis conceras.

FOOTE."]

BRITISIJ DRAMA.

555

I

I

I

Roe. True ; well—

But. I Mppow to give him orders about dtuw-
in> the writings.

SirCMr. Not uolikcl;— but you thiuk Run
«*ill cumc tn the club *

But. There is mi manner of dnuht ; becHUM*
nhr, he hallDoed to me, iVocn over the way —
what, Billy, 1 supjxjw T'Iii iire boniid tn the
Ik-ur * wvll. UoVt [ hliiill he liLird at MHir heels —
•nd he scctncd in prodici-ms vnst spirits.

Rac I nm mistaken if we dr»n't lower them n
little. Well, f;i>iitlcineii, ilie lime of actiuii
draws nie.U. Knight, ue must dccaiop.
Sir C'Ar. Wlieii »"U will.
Rae. I ihioli, sir Chnstopher, yttu lodge in
the mmc house with ihe Linnets?
S& CAr. .Iiisl over their bends.
Rmc. Then thither we'll p'l — len to one, if our
plot operates as I expect, itie licro will return
ft their house.

Sir Chr. Mort litely.

Hac. We are coioe to n crisis, nnd the cntu-
m>phc of our piece cwi't bo very far ufF.

Sir Chr. I «ish, like other plsvN it doo'i end
ID a marriage.

Rac. Then t ^holl be tnfW confuandedlj bil
— but coiijc, kiii^;ht.

^ Chr. Hot YOU, I do, ns fnM ns t cnn 1

ciLat think, Rnrlcet, nhnt the deuce TOHke^ ilioo
50 warm in tliis bu&inesi ; there is cermitiily
•oiiiethiiig Bt bottom, thnt 1 don't compreliend. —
But, do, Major, )m%'e piiy on tlie poor pri ;
opoa my soul slie is a >«vee't little svrcti, so in-

Booeot and

Roe. Pooh, pooh ; don't be absurd. I
thought lh»t mntler had bf-en fully explained ;
this, kiiighl, i^ no riuic to look Imck. Uiit
•upposc uoiv I should huie a little inixrhief in

Sir Chr. How ! of what kind *

Hac. Be innocent of the knowleijpe, dearest
knit^ht, till done, and then nppbnd lh« deed.

Sir CV. It is \<:ry ««lraordinary, Major Unc-
Imii, tf yitu are dciennined to make the dt'vil a
visit, llial ytni cnn'l pay tt nlone; or if tou niu^t
iMve coiopany, what a pin nutkvs you thiuk of
fiKinp un me f

Rac. fley day ! ha, ha ! Whot, in the raponrs
■gnin? — we mu&l liavr some more punch.
' Sir Chr. Vou are mi»bikt>u ; that won't have

" power to dinuKC the st.ite of my mind ; my rc-
•olvcs are too firm.

Jtac. And who wishes to break them ? I
only a-^k your oseistaore to-ni8;hr ; and your rr-
Amnatioii, you recullei-t, don't It^in 'till to mor-

■ to*.

Sir Chr. Titans true, indeed ; bur 00 human
power shall prcTaii to put it ulT any longer than
Ok-momiw.

Rac. Or the next day nt fnrthest.

Str Chr. May I be- if I do.

k [£rnin< lUcKiT and bin Cubistopisb.

ft

Pott/. Come, lads, light ronr (lipes— which of j
us shall be tirst to altnL-k ^ Hilly i I

l\mt. Wou'i it be rather too bold for me to f
bopinf

Pout. Then let ui leave it to chnncv— Hnsb !
t hear him Kimberini; in — compose yonr looks ;
let hi« rrcpptioii lie s'llcnm and gravp.

Hut. I^cavc tliat chair for him,

f.nter Ftiirr.

Tttnt. How fares it, my lads? Well, boys,
m&tten are seRlcd nt la^t — the liltle Kate liiis
complied, nnd to morrow is fixed for iho day.

PnuL Yiiu hare settled it, then ?

Ftimt. As lirm as a rock.

PouL So you can't retreat tf jrou would f

i7jnr. Ilrtreat ! I hare 00 such desip.

PuuL You lum't ?

Flint. No, to be sure, you great fool ! what
the deuce would Poultice lie ntr

PttuL Ntiy then, neighbours, what we have
been saying will just ugiilfj iNiiliini;.

FUni, Savins? why you have not heard —
that is, nobody-- - ■■

PohL No, DOiliin^ *'cry mBlerial— Only— but
aa tlip nintier is earned sn far

Flint. 80 far ! wliv I h^ipe you have not found
nut any (Ian — Kitiv lins not —

Paul. No, no, nothing of that — no, upon my
word— 1 brtievc a very modest, prudent, good
i;irl, neighbour.

AH. No manner of doubt.

Fiint. Well tl»en — but what a i>1a|;ae is the
meaniitf; of this } You all nil us silent aod Klum—
wliy can't you speak out, with a pox?

Ponl. Vfrhy, Squire, as we are all foar filed
friend^ we have been cainassing this matter
among us.

Flint. Vou have *

Pout. Marriage, you know Tcry well, is no
rriltin^ afTMir; ton much cmuttoo and cmre ckh'c
be u*ed.

Ftint. Thit I firmly bclicre, which bos made
iiie defer it so long.

Pout. Pray lend me your hand ; how is tlie
slare of your health ? do you ixoA yourself hearty
and stroQE ^

Flint. 1 think so ; that is I — you bao't obter-
Ted any bad symplomsof late?

Potil. No; but you u»d to have pains %ing
about you.

Ftint. Formerly; but since I liave fiied my

gout 111 a lit iJiey are fone tliat, indeed, lays

tne up four or nvc months in a year.

Pitul. A pretty loiifc spell ; and in such a casc,
do you think now, that a marriane —

Plmt. The roost best receipt in the world-
why that, man, was one of my motives — wives,
you know, are allowed to make very good Durses.
Pout, lliat indeed,

Flint. Ay. and then they are always at haod;
nnd bctldcf they don't cou one a farthing

4 A

554

BRITISH DRAMA.

CFboTf.

PouL True, tnie; why, yea look verf jcUy
\ma4 fraafa; donaot Iwf

AtL Esccedin^j.

Foiii. Yet he can't be left than— let mc aec—
' wacn't 70a andpr wki Syntai mt Wellt?
Flint. He d»ed the tcat I left acliooL
PohL That most b«'a gcMid forlj jcar nooe.
llEiaf. Corae »hec|>-4hnrio](; next.
Pmil. Then, iquircT yuu anr bard upon nxtj f
F&nl. Not hx awoT, Master Poulnoc
PouL And MiM Linnet tnueen ! jou ue a
Iv4d naa — not but thai liicre are instaac«v il>-
Awdt wKcre men bavr Murived raaaj jcai« such
r duMoportionate marrU^s a* tbcte.
I FUnt. Surrived ! *»liT should ibey not?

PouL But, tben, tbcir stamioa mukt be pn>d»-
|ioa*Ijr ftroog.
Fbnt. Staojioa!

PvvL Let us Kc \ Button, there was doctor
Dotage, that married the OeTuosliire giH, he

bad a matter of

But. No, no; he dropped off in au tDoatbi.
PtmL True, tmc, I had forgot.
Ffmt. Lord have mercy !

But. Indeed, an uM ina^er of mine, nr Harnr
OTuB^ is alive, and walks about lu this day.
J^Unt. llej !

Paul. But yoa for|;ot where sir lUrry wu
bom, and how «Kin his Indy duped \

But. Ill titc h'Jiif y utooii ; with captain Pike of
the ituards ; t mind it full nelf.

Pout. TItnt. indeed, ultcn the case.
FUnt. Well, but, Billy, you are oot lenoua in
this? vou don't think ihere is any daiieer of
death?

Bui. Afl to the matter of death, tlw! doctor
knows better than I ; bccauK why, that lies in ht!>
wny; bat I shall never forget colonel Craiy, ont
of the best cuMomers that ever I had; I dcvit
think of him withnut dropping a tear

Flint. Whv ; what wat lite matter with himP
But. Marri<-d Indy Borliary Bonnie, as it n)i|;ht
be about midnight 00 Muoduy — —

Fiint. Well

But. Bat never more aaw the iweot face of
chc »un.

Flint. What! did lie die?
But. Within an liuur iU\«r tlirowtng the stock-
ing.

Ftint. Good loid ! tbu was dreadful Indoed —
Of what age mi^t he be?
Btil. About vour lime of life.
Fiint. That is vastly alarming. Lord bless me,
Bill, 1 am all of a tremble !

Aft/. Ay, truly, it behoves your honour to coo-
sidrr uhat \-ou arc about.
JYiar. True.

But. Then nhat a world of money mu^t go !
fanning fnrwardi and baclwants to town, and
jauntinfi to ree alt tlic fine sights in the place. —
Flint. I bhan'i take her to many of tbcm ; per>

itfaepalpt!

dfevidite.

hns I mn show bar ike
pteyi^Mdlbodk^Mid'
yor. ub4 ifaa fiooa.

Bmt. IWa ibe nM bcap of fiae dotte ;«■
motf matt

FUui. ynMmxammfi^i^t
Bmt. As foa mmi kaowa» tfam ■ ■• 4mb
wttbooi ; }i*twane why, c*crf haij paacs ftoc
fur wlml Cher upmrmr,

F&nt. K^ BiUy ; bwi I fael«w I ^n fwi
oat a w^ to <lo that prccrr f fcaaa
But. Wfaici wny may be tfaat f
f^»l. YoQ have setm Che aMlbt
duwn Ui tadt a* togetiwr?

But. 1 hare — U be a £fae maD i

Ftint. lie doat auc aaudi to tmu
but he IS a pradv^* fatrioCy aad ■ gw^yA'-
ciau to boot.

But. Indeed !

Flint. And haa left behind ^^ M Ptn> a
choicf collectioa of cariooa licb daifca^ uiiA
he ba9 pnimised Co *ell me a Maaorth.

Pmi Puuh, what Billy talks of are trilBto
the evils yoa an 10 toycct- to ba»e *f^*
break in up*Hi rovr uld wnyt ! tout aAnNi'l
nap lutcjTVptcd, and |tcrlt^>* ooC HftnA tottftt
your pipe of a eigfat!

Flint. No !

PouL Alt your hmaer rikiiih riabiiHii jm
hou^e —

Flint. TItc fewer come ia, the leu «S p
out . I slian't be sorry for ibac.

PouL To make room f<or bcr own mmam
clan —

KiaC.Not a soul of them afaall enttr thttev

PouL A brood nf babea mc luur board, ak*
fathers she henelf won't fii>d a easr to mm^

Ftimt. To prevent tbaC, 111 loc£ bcr af »
room.

PouL The Kii^VBench wiU br«ak •T"^
door

Flint. Ttten III lum ber out ofck* bam*

PouL llieo her debti will Cfaniw j«a Mi
gaol

Flint. Who told yoo to r

PouL A dozen of proctorv.

Kin/. Then I will liani; myself oot oflbt**

PouL So she «iU tiecunie poneuad W bo
jointure, and her creHitora will fondoar J"
estaie.

Ftint. What a miscrabtc poor comI isaW
hand, n hose mrtfortunes not «ven dcelh ^ »
Uevtf !

But. Think of that, ttpiit^ htSon it he »
late!

Ftint. Well, but, friendi. nnghbo«ir»,«ta*
deuL-e can I'dn i Are you all of a miad t

IV Jar. A 11,'bU ; dere is no qaestwn ai all - Wbt'
a ^ar^on of your ancient fuoillc to caLraF***
a pnuvrc pciile bourgeoixi ?

FUnt. Does that neT«r bapoan w FraKt f

»

FOOTE.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

XV Jar. Never, but when Monsieur ]c Baruo
It venr great beggu-t and le botu^eoiae bas datnn-
cd ilcul de le^uiitea.

foul. TtMt 1% oone of our case.

fVinr. No, 00 — Mvnhccr, do your people ne-
Ter make up Mich malclics^

Stmr Crtmt. Never, never — wltat, a German
dirfionour hit stock! why, MrMer J-'lint, ijiuutd
MiMrcu Linnet bring you de thiWren for dc ttn

LseurmtioQs to come, tlicy could nut be ctiose de
canons of Stnuburgh.
PUnt. No?
Paul. So. squire, take it which wa; you will^
what dreadful daiiircr you run !
Flint. I An.
Poul. Lots of friends
But. Pipe nnd nAemnon's nap—
Sour Craul. Yuur ftunille gone to de dogs —
u£k Jar. Vour peace of mind to dc devil —
^Peu£ Your health —
■flw/. Ynur wealth-
Poll/. Plate, monej, and tnanors—
^U. Your —

Fliit. Knuu^h, dear nrighlwurs, runuRh — I
feel it, I feel it too well. Lord hnvu mercy, what
a miserable scrape am I in ! aikd here, urn, not
no hour ago, it has co»t me, the Lord knows whot,
in raakiin ber pntwnts !

PouL Never mind that; jou had better part
with half you are worth in the world.

Flint, "frue, inie-^wett, then, Ht go nnd break
off all matlen this minute.

PomL llie wiwst thing you can do,
Mmt. The sooner the betrer.
Flint. No doubt, no dnubt, in the — ^and yet
Button, she is a vast pretty siri — t should be
heartily sorry to lose her — ditst think one r<*uld
not get ber on eflsJcr terms tlian on marriage?
But. It is but tn'ing, howei-fr.
FUmt. To tell triitli, BiKv, I hnvr always Iiad
that in my head ; snd, at all events, I have tfiought
ef a project that will answer my purpose.
JiiU. Av, squire, what is it?
F/int. S'o matter — and, do yon hear, Billy ?
should I get her consent, if you will take hvr oR
my hands *"d marry her, when I Itegin i>> grow
tired, 1*11 settle ten pouiuls a>>year upou you, for
both your livev

Hut. VVitliouI paying the taxes?

Flint, that matter we will ulk of hereafter.

[Ej-it.
PetiL So, so, we hare well stttled this bu»i-
•eait however.

Putt. No luore thoughts of his taking a wi^.
PouL He would moner be tied to a gibbet;
bdt« Bilty, step after him, titey will let you in at
Sir ChrisCopber Cripple's; and bring ui^ Bill, a
fkithrnl aocoaaL

flue. I will, I wiU : btit where shall joa be t
Ptml. Above, in the Phornix ; we won't stir
•at of the boose ; but be very euct.

iter. Never fear. [Bstunt.

8CENEIL

Enter MiftS LiMSCT.

Miu Lin. Heigh bo ! what a sacrifice nm I
eoing to make ! biit it is the will of those wlii>
nave a right to all my obedience, nnd in thitt I
will submiL [Loud knocking at the thmr.] Bloa
mr ! who can that be at this time of oighl ! Our
fruMidi may err ; and pmjccts, the most prudcn-
tially pointed, may mi&s of their nim; hut a^o
and experience deoumd resitecl nnd otlrntinn,
and the undoubted kindness of our parent* de-
si{(ns claims, on our parts ut least, u grateful and
ready compliance.

Eater Nancy,

Misi Lin. Nancy, who was that at the door?

ffnn. Mr Flint, mil*, begs the favour of speak-
ing fii^e words with you.

Mill Lin. I was in hopes to luive had this night,
at least, to myself —Where is my mnfher ?

yan. In the neit room witli Udy Cnlhnrine^
con«idting about your clothe* for the morniitg.

JIfisi Ltn. He is liere — very well, you mar go.

Emter Fust.

Flint. She is alone, a* I wuUed— Mis«, I beg
pardon for intruding at this lime of night, bat —

^fiu Lin. Sir I

Ftint. You can't wonder lliai I desire lo etw
joy vourgocid rompanv every minute I can.

JUui Lin. 'those m'inuict, a short space will
place, -Mr FUiii, in your power; if, till then, you
nnd permitted mc to- -

Flint. Right, But. to say the trulli, I wonted
lo have n little serious talk with you of bow and
about it. I think, mi»s ,vou agree, if we marry,
to CO off to the roumry directly ?

Jitiu Lin. If wc marry ! Is it, then, a matter
of doubt ?

Riaf, Why, I tell you, miia: with regard lo
myself, you know, I am ooe of the most ancicnt-
est famjiic* in all the country round——

Mitt Lin. Without doubt.

Flint. And, as to moi>ey and lands in thcM
parts, I believe few peopln can match me.

Mia iJn. Perhaps not.

*'fin(. And as to yourself— I don'iSj>eak in a
dtsparngini; way— your friends are low Wks, and
your fortune ju«t nothing.

Mitt Urn. True, sir; but this is no new dia-
oovery ; you hare known this

FUnt. Hear me out now !— *•! bring all thcM
good ihinp OQ my side, and you have nothing to
give mc in return but your love:, 1 04^ht to ho
pretty sure of the posscasiuo of ihaL

A/m Lin. I hope, the properly discharging all
the duties of that condition, which I am shortly
to owe to your fitvour, wdl ^ve you coiirinciiic '
proofs of my gratitude.

$S6

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Foots.

Ftini. Your grotitu^, iniis ! — JuK wc tnik of
your love ! nnd of tlial, if I tuarry, 1 mtut Itavc
plain uid ptisirire pmofs.

Jl/iis Ltn. Ptuoii ! of <nhat kiiid ?

FUnt. To 5te&l swaj dlrectljr with mc to tnj
Llodiings.
[ Miu Lin. Your lodt;ines !

Flint. There ^ss the night, and in the trtoro'
ing, ihe very minute kc itie, wc will march awnj-
tu (lie abbey.

MiiM IJu. Sir!

Fitnt. Joihort, intu, I must luve tliU token
of love, or not a f^llnble more of die inarnagc.

Zliu Iau. Givfc me pntience !

Flint. Cuinc, mi*s, we hn*c not a iniout« to
loM ; ihe cuftst is ck-ar — should soiDcbody ormtr,
you will put it out of my power to do wbut 1 de-
sign.

Mi$$ Un. Power ! Ilunds ofT, Mr Flint ! Pow-
er! I promiM Yuu, bir, >ou shall never hare me
in your power.

Flint. Here, mi**

Miu tin. Despicuhle wretch I from what part
of my chnmcter could ynur vanity derive a hope,
tliat I would luhmit to your infamous purpose?

Flint. Viin't bt: in u

Aliss Lin. To put principle out nf :he ques-
tion, not a crcatnrc, that had the Icut tincture of
pride, could full a victim to mch a contemptible —

Fliat. W'hy, tut, mi»B

Aliii Un. h is true, in complinncc with the
Cftmc»t requcM of mv friends 1 hnd consented to
9acri6ce my peace to their plcaturc ; nnd, though
reluctant, nuuld have given you my hand.

F/inl. Vasitv well !

Aliis Lin. VVttiit motive, hut obedience to them,
could I have had in fonning an union with you ?
Did yuu prcMiroe I was struck with your personal
locrit, or think the M>rdidncM of your mind and
manners would tempt mc i

Ftitt. Really, uiiss, this is carrying—^

Jltist Un. You have wealth, I confess; bol
where could have been thi- advautafte to me, as,
u reward for becoming your drudge? I might,
pcriinpj^ have rccaitcd a scanty subeistcnce, for
1 can liardly Mippo>c you would grant the free
uw of that to your wile, wliich your mcaoness
has denied to yourself.

Flint. So, «o, M ! — by and by she will alarm the
whole boutc !

Miss Un. The whole bouse ! the w hole town
bball he told. Sure the greatest mi^furtune, that
fMverty brings in its Iruin, is the subjectii^ us to
ihe insults of wretches like this, who have no
other nwrit but what tlieir riches bestow on them.

Flint. W'liat a damnahle vixen! [Asidt.

Miu Un. Go, sir ! leave tlic house I I am
asUaiued, sir, jou have had the power to move
tne; and never more let me be sJiucked with your
sight.

Enter Ladt CATVASfKB and Mks Livxn.

Uidf Cath. Hom's aw wi yoa within f — Gait
merry ! what's tlie matter wi miia.' 1 will hope.
Mai^ter FUnt, it is na yoa, wha ha set ber i mni-
iug?

3frt Un. Kilty, my lore !

.MisM Un. A modest proposal of ihat i
mHii's mnking

I^tiy Co/A. Of wlui Liod *

Misi Uit. Only tlii« niument to quit nr fslhcr
and >ou, and take up my lodgiae with hiio.

S^tly fittk. 'I'u night: aw, that u quite iml tf
l!ie order of tbin|£t; tii^t is ne'er dune, HwOUr
Mini, till after the cereiuouy ut* tbe tupcialia

MUtl.

Fliat. No 7 Tbets I can tell youi lady^hifi, k
will ni-vcr be duuc
UulyCatk. Uow^

Kaier Muoa Rackft, .Sin CuaiSToniti

CSIPPLE, and BfTTttK-

Sir Citrit. We b< g pnrdon for taking the
ty to ooiuc to, Mr» Liiuiet, but we wen*
some accident might have happened ttj

Mrt Un. llitrt- has, sir.

Rue. Of what kind r

Mrt Un. That worthy gcoilcinan, ander fifr
teiu-e of friendsliip lo us, tmd booouraUc tM«i
tu luy dituplilcr, has llatt.-h€^d a trescbefllNK d^
sign to incriubiT ruin inv cluld !

Sir Chris. W^nl, he? "tlini ?

Mri Un. Even lie.

Sir Ckru. Ad impuclrot ton ofo Biftfdni

me op, that I may talc a peep at thr pop^^^
Your MTvimt, young gcntkuuin *. «hnr« ts it trw
that we liCHr f A iweel swain this, to tempt sviifft
to sin ! Why, Old Nick tui% nuuJc a mtitakeWrr.
he used toh»- nmrc expert in liit luiftltiif;; forafat
fciiiule oil earth can he got tn cat(£ 1^ Wit'

Uidy Caih. Ilaud, hnud ymi, m ChrtttsftM
Cripplp, let Maimer Flint uitd t ha»e**hontt*
ferc-rice uptJii llii» ucduucn — I fiod, Matun Knl.
you ha made a little uitsinke, but marrui^*''
set aw matters right in the instant . 1 suppoc ;*•
pcn>evere to gtng wi miss lu kirk in ifae Mffr-
log?

Flint. No, madnm, nor the rvraing aeiafcir.

iMdy Cotk. Mercy a Gad ! wh»t, ii jmtr
(ate to ratify tbe ptelimiuaricA *

Flint. I don't ^u} timt ik ilhrr.

Sir Chns. llicii name tJie Uiae iawiiifiyK
will fulfil thcni — a wf-ck.'

Utdy CatM. A fortiti^lit f

iWr» Liii. A month ?

Flint. I won't be Uiund to no tmi^<

Hoc. A rascitlly evahioo of bis, to anad m ">
uon at law,

Sir CArir. But, perhaps, be nay bcdivpp^
cd m that.

I
I

I

I
I

FOOTE.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

S57

I

I

Ladjf Gi/A. Well ; but, Malster Flicti are ymi
wtlliiif; to make miss a (lecumarj adtoowledgmcnt
fur the dBmi>k;tf ?

Flint. I have done her no dnmagc, and 1*11
make no rcpDraiiim.

Rac. Twelve hitiicii men of your country majr
happen lu difRr in jiids'iicnt.

/Via/. Ix't luT try, il stic Mill.

Sir Ckris. Ami, 1 (imiiuse jruu, tlie shau'c be
to seek for the lut^tis.

Lady Cath. If yiiu be nac afraid of the laws,
hm you iiae seiise uf U^muc?

Roc. He sense of »liiii(ie !

Lady Vatk. Gad'» wtill ! it shutt cum to tlte
proof; you man Leii, gi)tM.\ folk, at Bdiiihtinfh, Initt
winter, I got ai't|ii«intL-d witli Mui?ili-f I'out ctiL'
l^ajr-actor — I will get liiiii to bring Uie filthy lomi
on theitafe —

Sir Chru. And enpfwe him to the cootmnpt of
ttie world ? he richly drwrrcs iL

Flint. Ay, lie iiiiiy write, you may rail, uiid the
people niuy hiu, and what can: I ? I have that
al ttonie, lout will keep up my »pirtt«.

t^dy Calk. At hame \

Rac. The wretch means hi^ money.

FUnt. And nhat hitipr fri(*nd can anv man
liave^ Tell me the place where it» inrfnencc
fails ^ Ask that gentlemmi huw he got hi^ cvck-
nde 1 Money ! 1 know itJk worth ; and, tiierefurc,
can't too carefully keep it. At ttus very i^^taut,
I hnve a proof of itsvnlue; it enables me to
Idu^h at that vjueamish impcrtnient girl, and de-
mise the weuk cffjns uf ynur impotciu mnticc —
Call me forth to jour courts when yoo please.
that Mill procure me able defenders, and good
wiiDCiMies too. if thcv art watilcd. [£xi/.

Hir Ckrit. N<m-, tncre's a fellow that will ue-
ver reform.

Rm^. You had better let him alone ; it is in vnia
Id eipcci justice or honour from him \ What a
mott centemptib'e cur it a miser 1

Sir Ckrii. Ten tliuuHaiid tiutct worse than a
bi^bwayinnn ; tliat poor devil only pilfe'is from
plalar or I'aul, and the money i» scattered as
■oon m rcc*!)red; but the wretch, thut occumu-
Intea fur tlie sake of iiecretins, annihilates whnl
wma intended for the ii>c of thv wurLd, aud is a
robl>cr of ihc whole human race. .

Acre. And of titmaelf, too, into the burpin.

Rut. For oil ihe world ; hke a ma^pyc, he »tcal>
for the mere pleasure of hiding.

RfU^. \N rll obM-.ncd, little Hill !

But. Why, he wonted to briog ma into his
pint — ye-i; he luaite pnipusals On mv to marry
tais*, after hi^ purpose wta M:n'ed !
, Sir t'krit. How !

But. But he was out ia bis mnu — let Uioi give
bU CHAt clothes to hu ojachtiian. Hilly Uuuoo
can affiird a new iMiit of his own.

Rac. I don't doubt it at aLI.

Bttt. I'VlUtw— [ am ulinusJ. reK>lved never to
set anothL-r siiitch for him as loocas I livr.

Sir Ckrii. lUght, DuUon, ri»lit : but where ift

Mitt Kitty? Come bilber, coy chickca ; Faicb, I
am heartily glad you arc rid of this tcoundrcl ;
aiMl, if uttcii a i.'ripple<l uld fellow a> me was wor»
thy of your notire — but Inild, Ktite, there is at>>
utiirr chap 1 muM guard you against

iWiu Uh. Anutltcr, sir ! Wliu i

Sir Ckrii. Why. this gentleman.

Rac. Me !

Sir Chris. .\y. you ; come, come, maior, don^
think vou can impose upon a cunning old sports-
man like me.

Rac. Upon my soul, nr Christopher, you ;n«ke
me blush.

Sir i'Aria. Oh ! you are devilish iDode^ I know
— but to come to the trial at once. I liave wme
reutxtn to bcliere, major, y^^u are food of this
^irl; and, [hat her want of fortune cnayn't plead
your es<usc, I don't think I can better begin my
plan of reforming, thiio by a compliment paid U>
tiir virtue — then Hike her, and^ with her, two
ttiou^uud guinran in bond.

Mra Lim. How, Mr!

•Sir Chris. And evpect another good spell when
Monsieur le Fe*rc ttcu roe free from the gout.

But. Please your worship, I'll accept lierwicb
hnlf

Lady Cath. Gi me leave, sir Christopher, to
throw in the widow's mite on itie happrocc*-
sion ; the bride giinnent, and her dinner itbiUI bt
furnished by me. «

Sir Chrii. Cock-B-Iecky soup?

Lady Calh. Shvep*> head singed, and a baggica
in pleriiv.

Sir Ckrit, Well said, lady Cailianne !

.Ifitf Lin. flow, sir, shall I acknowledge this
goodncM.'

Sir Chris. By tayiitg; nothing about it— Well,
sir, we wait ynur answer.

Htsc. I think the lady might first be consult-
ed ; I should be Mirrv a fresh persecution itiould
ft»llow *i fast on the WeU of flie- ■ - ■

Sir Chris. CoiDC, come, no tnfiing ; your reso-
lution at once.

Rite. I receive, then, your offer with pleasure.

Sir Chriv Miss?

Mist Lin. Sir, there is n little account (o be
firu settled bctweeo this gcuilcmau aud an M
unhappy M'lqutrmtaiice uf miue.

Sir Chris. Who?

3/(u JUn. The major can gau» — the udhappy
Misx I'nm.

Sir Chris. You see, majur, your old aiss are ri-
iine in judgtoent.

Afir. I bielieTe, uiadnin, I can satisfy that.

Miss IJH. 1 sha'n*t give you the trouble — but;
fint, let iiM! return ynu all my most grateful
thanks for ynur kind int£nliiHt& Inwards roc. I
know your gct»crou4 motivcis and feel their valoe,
I hope, as f ought ; but might 1 be permitted to
chuse, I beg t4> remain in l^ siatiun 1 am ; ay
little talents have hitherto received the publw <

r-otcction; nor, whdst I continue to deserve, aa
tbeleutafnud of losing my patraoa. [£raNi(^

THE

IRISH WIDOW.

BT

GARltlCK.

DRAW ATIS PERSONA.

MEN.

Whittle, ■ Mmrd, m love milk the WUow.

Keceset* kiMjHemd.

Thoxa% terrant to Whittle.

Bates, ■ dvil aid bmcke/or.

SiK Patbice O^eal, father to tke WUtm.

Nepbew, III loTt with the Vldim.

WOMAN.
Widow B&abt, tke Iri$k fTidflv.

ACT L

SCENE I.— Wbittle*s Amtar.

Enter Bates nd Srmn/.

fiflfe*. Is be gope out ? his card tellt me to
•ome directly — I did but lodi m fonie papery
take iDjr hat and cane, and awaT I harried.

Ser. My master deaires too will nt down, be
will return imowdiately ; he had sonw btnmeas
with his lawYM*, and went out io great baftte,
tearing the message I bare ddirered. Here b
mj jouDg master. [Exit Servamt.

Eater Nethew.

Bafes. What, lirelj Bilhr !— hold. I beg your
pardon — melancholy William, I think— Here^ a
fine rerolution— I hear yoar tmcle, who wa* last
month all gravity, and you all mirth, have dianged
characters ; he is now'all spirit and yon are in
the dumpS) yoong man.

Nepi. And for the Mme reason. Vat jw
ney to Scarboroogh will uDfold the riMe.
^ Bcfes. Come, come, in plain Ei^liaih, aai b^
tore your unde cornea, explain the maacr.

AicpA. In the first place, I mn» imdooc

Bafn. In lore, X know — I hope yoer adii
not undone, too — that would be the deni !

NepL He bas taken finaw iiirm of hiaiiBefHT
sense. In dwrt, he came u> Scaibamai^ Mn*
the kdy 1 had fallen in love whb— «

Bate*, And fell in love faimaeli?

heph. Yes, and with the same lady.

Bate». That is the deril indeed \

M^. O, MrBatea! when Itho^ayhr
jinem complete, and wnnted only my wdn
coment, to give me die indepcndcnoe bemsfci
has promised me, be came tn GcaituiuaA ^
that pnrpoae, and wished me joy of my iWj
bol^ m less than a week, hia approfaalMMi tsn*
intoap— ioofarfaer; faeiaoivhueB dtt^l^^

OAaaicK.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

ii9

I

I
I
I

I

\

me, and is resolved, with the conseoc of the fa-
ther, to mjikc her his wile directly.

Bates. S(i he keeps you out of ynur fortune^
won't give liia consent, which bis hri>iher's fuolish
will rc«tuires uid he would marry hiin»elf the
•ane wutuui, beuauM rii^ht, tide, ronsciencp,
nature, J uMict:, mid every law, iliviiic and tiuuiaii,
mn against it I

NqtL Thus Ke tricks roe at r>nce both of wife
wid fonunc^ without the least wnnt of cither.

Bale*. Well said, friend Whittle ! but it can't
be, it sliairi be, ami it muu not lie ! — thit in
murder and robbery in tlic firon);est >cntc, and
bo ihan't he hanged in chains, to be kugbed n:
by the whole town, if I ran belp it.

Nrpk. I amdistraciedi the wkIuw is distressed,
and we both &linll run mod !

Batct. A widow too ! 'gad a mercy, threescore
ftnd five !

Neph. But such a widow ! She is now in town
with lirr fattier, who wants to get her off his
bands ; 'tis v^nul to him who hus lirr, sn the i^
provided fur — 1 hear lomcbody coming; — 1 must
away lu her loilginp, witere she wnits for me to
execute a scheme dirocilv fur our delivery.

Bates^ What is her uamc, Billy?

NepA. Brady.

Batet. Brady ! Is not site daughter to sir Pat-
nek O'N'eale !

Nrph. Itic aame. Slic wa« sacrificed to the
cnoit icnscle^t ilrunkoo prutiigatc in tJic wtinle
couiitrT: He lived to run out his fortune ; niid
chc oii^y advantaec she got from the union was,
l»e broke that and bis Deck before be had broke
her heart

Batet. The affair of roamaf^e is, in this coun-
iiy, put upon tUc rarest fuoting; there tb neither
luve or hate in the mntter; necessity 1>nnp ihcm
U^tber; they are utiit^H :it tint for their muTual
convenicuce, and M^parated ever nfter for their

inrticulnr pleasures — (J rare nintriiaony \

Where does »he Indpe?

Nip/i. Id Fall M»ll, near the hotel.

B4tiei. I'll call III my wny, and lUsist nt the
Gonsultntion ; I am for a bold stroke, if gCDtlc
■oeth'Kis should fail.

Nfph. We have n plan, nod a npiriteil one, if
lay sweet widow i» able to go through it — pmy
let us have your friendly assistance — aunt is the
cause of loi% and ruison.

Bctn. Get you gone, with your love and ren-
tnt\\ they scldimi pull twcther nnw-n-diivs. I'll
gtwK your undo a dose first, nod then 1^11 mrct
ymk at the widow'» — What says your uudc's

hrr couusellor, Mr Tburnn^, to this ?

Htph. lie is greatly our friend, and will enter
BOcerely into our »enice— ho i< honest, sensihte,
ignorant, niid particuliir ; a kind of half coxcomb,
with n thoruujjii good heart — but he's here.

Baiet. Do you go about your husinesij and
Jsave the rest to mc.

[£jiV Xe-Pbew.

Enter Teomas.

B«<ej. Mr Thomas, I am glad to see you ;
upon my word, you look charmingly — you wear
welt, Mr Thmnas.

7^. Which i) & wonder, considering how
times go, Mr Ehites — they'll wear and tear me
toi\ if [ don't take care of myself — ray old ina>-
ter has token the nearest nny to wear himsel/
out, and nil tliat Iki'long to him.

Balet. Why, surely this strange ntory about
town is not true, that the old gentleman is fallta
io lore ?

Tko. Ten times worse than that !

Battt. The devil !

'Ao. And his horns— going to be married !

Batet. Not if I can Itdp it.

'1^0. You never saw such an altered man iu
your born days ! — he's grown young ogam ; he
frisks, and pnincci, and nini> about, as if be hat)
a new- pair of Ices — he ha^i left olT his brown
catnlet surtout, which lie wore all tlie summer,
and now, with hi> ImL uader his arm, he goes
open hrciuted, and he dresses, and powden, and
imirks, so that you would take him for the mad
Frcnclininn in Bedlam — sometliing wrong in hii
upper story— -Would you think it?— h© wants
rot-- to wear a pig-mil !

Bala. Then he is far gone intlecd !

Tiio. As lure as you are there, Mr Bate*, a
pig-lail I — we have luul sail work about it — I
made a compromi.se with him to wear these
rufHcd shirts which he gave me; hut they stand

inmynur 1 am so liitless with them ■■ ■

though i have tied up my hands for him, I won't
tic up my licnd, that 1 am resolute.

Bafft. This it is to b« in love, Thomts 7

Tho. He may make free with himself, he
shan't make a fool of me— lie has got tits head
intn a ba^ but I won't hare a pig-toil tacked la
mine— and w I told him.

Battt. Wluit did you tell him ?

Tho. That ns I, and my father, and his father
before me, had wore their own hair ait heavca
had sent it, I thought myself rather too old to
set up for a moukev at my time of life, and wear
a pig'tuil — hr, he, he ! — he took it.

Baici. With a wry face, for it was wormwood.

Tko. Ves, he was frunipcd, aud called tbc old
blockhead, and would not speak to me the rest
uf tlic day — but the nest ilay be was at it again
— A\c then put me into a passiou— and I could
Dot help (riling liim, that t was an Englishman
btini, and had my prerognlive as wcU as he; and
that as long as I had breath in rar body I WM
fur liberty, and a strait Iiead oS hair!

fin/rs. Well said, Tbomaa ! — he could DOtSft-
swer that.

TAo. The poorest man in Kngland is a marcb
fur the greatest, if he will but stick to tlie
liiwft of the lawt, ami the sucute booki, a»

000

BlftTnSH DRAMA.

ylRtlCK.

they arc delirercd down to U8 from our forc-
fatncrs,

Batrs. Y*Jii arc rieht^we ruust biy our wits
topether, and drive the widow out of your utd
master's head, and put hrr iiitu yiMie juuag
master's hatiil!i.

TAo. Willi all inv heart f — iMthini; cna be more
merilortniis — inanv at his yenn ! whnt a ic^rri-
ble account would he make of it, Mr Bates! —
Lei me sec — on the debtor sitJc sixty- five-— and
per conlm rrediior, a buxom widow ol* iweinj-
three— llcll be a bankrupt in a fortnigbi— >h«,
he, he!

Bales. And so he wuuM, Mr TtHiuias— — wrhiit
have you got in your hand f

Tho. A pamphlet, my ttUi [:;ent]eman takes in
— he has \v(l olT buying hifttorics uiid reli^otis

Eicccs by numbers, hs he UM.-d to do; and since
e ha.1 (Tot this widow in his held, he rends no-
tliiug but the Amorous HcpoMtury, L'upiil's
Uevels, Ca]| to Marriage, llymtMi's Dilithls,
Love ties a Bleeding, Ijtve in the Sudis and such
like lender coiitputnioii».

Botet. Here he comes, with all his folly about
him.

'no. Ye«, and the firit fool from Vnnity-f«ir
— Heaven help us !— love turns mmi mid nomnn
top*y tuivv * [F.ril Thomas

IVhit. [Without] Where is he f where is tnv
good friend *

jEnler WttiTTLC

Hn ! here he is — cive me your hand.

Batet. I ara |lad to sec you in such spirits,
my n|d ^eiidetiuin.

WhU. Not 90 old i>eilher — no man ougtit !■.■
be called old. frifiid Bule% if hu i» in liewttli.
spirits, and—

Batfs, [ft his senses — which T should rsther
doiiht, as I never »nw you half mi froiu'kwjme in
my life.

Whit. Never too old to learn, friend ; and it"
1 dou't make u^e of my philiKophy now, I mn^
wear it i>at in UvL-iity vear<> — 1 have been ulw-ays
baiifored as of tnn pmvc a cast — you know,
when I studied nt JJncoln's Inn, they used to
call mc Yuuiijc WiMlom.

Hatrt. Add if the? should call you Old Folly,
it will be a much worse niimc.

Whit. No young jiirknnHprA darm In cnll me
•o, while I have tlus friend at my side. [Tuuchcs
kis tword.]

Batet. A herOf too ! what In the name of
Common sense is come to you. my friend ' — hiL'h
•pints, quirk honour, a long sword, and n line 7
— ^you wont nutliinp but to be lerriMy in luvi-,
and then you may sally forth Knight of tlw
Wneful Countenance, na, ha, hH !

Whit. Mr Hntc* — tlic Indicn. who are ihe best
judges of countenances, are nul nf your apiiiiou ;
■ttd unless you'll be n little sortous/ 1 most beg

piirdon for jrvinz \im thisirmible, aod rUopn
my mind in some more ntteiitiTe frieod.

Rata. Well, come ! unlock then, yoa
hainl'Hwnc, vitfiirotis young dog joo^^ wiil|
you i( 1 oui.

Whit. I believe you ntrer saw me look heart,
Frank, did you f

Bates. O yes rathf T boitrr forty yean a|D-

Whit. What, when I was at Mercbsst TajW
-Schrml ?

Bates. At rJnrolnVIno, Tom.

Whit. ]t can't br — -I neecT dilfiuse iDja|^
and next February I »hnU be fiflv-ioiir.

Bales. Fifty-four! Why I nmaixtT, and ym
always licked me n» school — tbonsb 1 brlimj_
could do a« much t\w you tMw, aod *eeod ll
licvc vou dcstrvc it loo. L

whit. 1 tell you I «m in uiy fifty-fifth jtm,

Hatfi. O, you are? — let i»e sec- ' -we werc»
getlier at C'uml>nd);et nnnn domini twnvy4^
which is near (ifty years iip>— *you oune tn tk
coikije, iiKtced, surprtsinxly nMiag; Mirf, i ' '
more surpn»in|r, by this ouc'ttlaMo, ytM<
%hool bel'orc jrou wiu bom— ^ou was
forward child.

Wfiit. I si-e tliere it no inlkint; or coawli
iiiK Mith ynu ill iIit« buuviur; luid »a, Mr Bbmv
wften ynu uti' in temper in sJtOM- leu of your viL
;iiid luoru of ^uur fn«ndsht]>, I aball ccuMitl «<t
you.

Batri. Fare vmi well, tnv old boy — touo| fel-
low, I mean — when yon burr done sowmi TW
wild outs, and hnvc bctrn bli^tcrvd intOYpurrvtf
srnses; when ynu have half killed ytmndt'^Jt*
b4-ui'^ a beau, and rmuni to your woulira op^
llnniifl waistcuai% wur«tcd »u>cktiH^ ooficsilci
niid cidlochieSf I nni nt your service acaiii -^
Imiii jour lu vou, MoDsieiU' nftt-fiwr ■■ 4a
ha f ' f JEnt

Whit. He has certainly henrd of m» Bhir—
hut he is »ld and peevish — be wsnls tpviift.fls'
strenfttli of cuhatituli'io to conceive my feiff^
nevt — I am in love with tlie widow, and wH
have her : Kvrry man know-t hi* o<rn waiuv—
let the world la»i|ih, and my ln<nd rtairffct
them cull inc iuiprudpnl, and mad, if rVi !*•*
-■ — -I live in jto.Ml times, auH among peo^ ''
lujihiou ; So num.* of mj neighbours ik*'^
Heaven, can have the aisurwtc« to Ism^ o
mc

Enter Olj> Keckszt.

Keek. Wluo, my friend Whittle ' i..» 1 .t. W
vou, old bor — vou arc i^oiDp, « t" '

line widow t)a<( bid for you, uiid v*. —

liah, friend f nil for the bc«t — thrre n n^fo^
like it — hugh, hujih, hofth !— a good w<ff '• •
ei».»d thinn, and a youn*4 one i* a hettcr— k*fc-
who'k alVaid Mf t had not luclv married ««. I
should have been at dcatli's doot by tfaii b&
hu^, hu^ hugh I

I

Gaerick.]

BRITISH J)RAMA.

ftfil

\

I

I

I

Wkit. Thank, thnnk vou, friend ! I wm com-
ing Ui aiiviw widi ifou — I am f^nt iiiln (lie p<iuiiH
Bf^iit— til love u|) to (liv cQr*> — II hiic t^iHiuui,

I'aith ; amt tKcrt's no love lo'^t betwwo us.

Am I njilit, fririidp

K<ck. Uiftlii ! ujf, rijElit ns uijr lep, Tom ! life-'*
nwhiiin withmit lore — hui;h. hti(;ti ! I nm huppv
f» ilic ilnifS lung ! Diy wile Iovcr j^nddiii!^ anu I
flnn't MuT Bl home; wi wc nrv txitli of n imnct —
8kv*t every iiic'it ut out or mlicr of the qanlcn
plut-c»: but uiDOtiK CricrHls I uni n little afrnid
uf ilir dfiiii|): tiu^li, l>ii£,l), Tiugli ! She hta gut nn
Iri<ih gentleman, b kind o( ctntmi of lirrft, Ut talic
carp of her; n tine fellow I nnd sojjood-nntiirrd !
— It tft a t-afti comfort l<> hate such n friend lu n
family! Hugh, hu^i, hogh !

hint. You urc n holrf ittan, rniiMn Kcclcsev.

Keck. M<ild '. ay, to be fture; none biir the

brave iIlmii-vc the fair Hugh, hugh ! who's

nfmid f

fVAit. Wliv V'lur wife it five feet ten !

Kfk. Widimtt tier»h»rs. 1 luite your liltU-
lhniii|>3 ; iKiiic of y^iir lean, irn-iixre Krviurh
frogs fur me; I vtm alv.ny» fini'l of llic miijeituc:
give mu a slice uf a pnA I'liglii^li surloiii ! rut
ftnd conut agmiu ; liugh, hu^h, hu^ ! that's my
taste.

W^it. Tin ntncl ynu liure lu ipin4 :i stmntirh—
^tid VI vou wtiutU adviie roe to luiirry thv Hidu«
directly)

Kttk. To be sitr^! — you hnve not n moment to
Iom; 1 alwayt mind wluu ilw |iuct wiys,

Ti« fi.lly to lu*e lime.
When uinn is in lii» prime :

[ Hush ! hu2h : hugh !

M'AjV. You \m\c ad ucly coagh, eoujln.
Kctk. Marnai^c U I lit U'M Inzeiij^e for it.
Whit. You have rniM-<i inc from the dead — 1
atn cUd you mine — I'mnk Hiitt-s had almost kitl-
Jed lite With Iu6 jukes — hut you have comforted
I me, and we will walk through the Park; and 1
vill carry yon to the wid-«w in Pall-mail,

Keek. \\ itli aJImyheuri !— — I'll raise her »pi-

|r*'tf and your* I(h>. Cuum^e, I'uiu — coinft alon^

-who 9 afraid 1 [Btreunt.

SCENE IL—TiM Widow** loJaing.

£nfcr Widow, NrPHcw, «nJ Bat».

Batei. Indeed, tnadain, ihc-rc is no ulher wny

jt ti* cast otr your retil chnructcr, aiwl ns»unie

fcipicd one ; it is nn fklrHurdHuiry ocriiNiiin,

and re<|iiircs cxtraordinnry ineasuri-s; pliick up a

spirit, and do it for tlie honour uf y mr ^x.

K A'rfiA. Only ron&ider, niy »woot wUluw, that

^^Or all it at uake.

Wld. Could 1 brinu my heart to act cwtmrv
to lis feeliii);«, wouhl not ymi hale roc for Iwing
A hypocrite, tbuugli it ii duue fur your take ?

Vou III.

L

Nrf>i, Could I think myself capable of tucli

incraiilude .

MW. Don't make fine speeches! Voo men ami
fttran^je creniares ; you tuni our ht;«d* to youf
pnrpoios, and then de»|nsc us tor the f(;Ily you 1
teach Ui, Tis hard to u%uiiic a cliorocter crto-
trary III my di»po*iiion : I ciiniH't get rid nf my
unl'tithionabtr itrt;indire» till I t):iie hctn nwtr*
ricd in Maglauu Mrme tlau*, and lived among >dT1
betters. J

iVf/»A. Tliou channinc adt»niblc "uinMn ! what]
>haU v,t do Uteri? I niter wished fur n fortun*:]
till this roojneni.

Wid. Could we live upon afTection, I woald '
fiive ynur fortune to your uncle, and thank hint '

fi»c Hiking it ; and ilien

AV/iA, What then, my sweet widow?
H'lrf. I would drMn* you to run away with m* i
ni fftkt as you can — U hat a piiv it is, that ihia
money, »hich my heart despises, sliould hinder i
its hnppincis or that, for want of a few dirty
iKTet, u poor woioiin niu»t l>c mmle n>i»crablu,
niid ^aniticcil twice to those who hmc ilicm !

i\Vy»4. Heaven forbid! tlicse txquiiitc- jtenti-
menis endear you more to mc, and distract ins
with the dread >jf Insini; you.

Aifrs. Young folks ; let ao old man, wlm it '
ii'jt quite in love, and vit will ndniirc a fine no-
man to the day of his deith, thriiw in a little u<l-
t'ice Amonc vour dainr» nnd dnrtv

IIW. Tl)'>i(f*h a woman, a widow, and in lore
loo, I can bear reawm, .Mr Uate*.

hale*. And that's a woud<-i You have no

time to lose; for want of a ■••inture viu are still
y\mr father's slave ; he is obslinaie. aiHt liiit pro*
iiuMd you to the old man : Now, inndniu, |t >>iu
will not rise wprrior tr» yitur »«*? wcnkne'*% ro
secure a younj; fellow in--ieiiil of un old one, juur
eyes are a couple of hypociitcs.

Wtd. Hhcs ore a ctiuplc of traitors I'm ^nre^
and hare led their mistress iiitoa toil, frum whidi
oJI her wit cannot relcsM hpr.

Neph. Out it can, if you will but eien it. My
uncle adored, and fell in lo?e with von for yoar
beauty, 9oftne», and Rhno»t speccnlrsn rrwnre.
Now, if, amidst all his rapturous ideax uf your
delicacy, you would bounce upon him n wild,
mittng, buiom widow, he will grow sick of bis
bargain, and give inc a fortune to take you ofi'bit
hniid^.

Will. I shall make n rery had artrrH.
Neph. You nre nn eKcuilrnt miniir ; ns^itme
but the chamcu-r of yotir Iriih fciunte m-i^lilKiur
in the country, wiUi whirh you Mtonijltttl uk so
agreeably at ScnrlMjrouKh ; you will fnithten my
uncle to term', nnd do iliwt for lis whuh neither
my love Dor your v(rtue cau accfttopfuti without
it.'

HVrf. Now for • rrwil — [ AiiuMV/ria* a »trcn§
l>n*gue.\ — Fait anil Irol, if jou wtlf be aftrr
hriiiipiit; me before the old jitolUtnnn, if he loics
music, i will iraic his ear» with a liltlo of tlif

« B

502

BRniSH DRAMA.

[GAmvicK.

hrftfotf tni wme danrinr too, into the hur^ia,

if Vnct cbpenu;: O tk»» aie ! my Lt«rt fail*

me, W(d 1 aiii fri::4iu.-iKci out of nij «iu; 1 oui
netcr go i!ir'f<.'-ii it.

[Nf-PHiw «!■</ Rati*, loth lemfk.

NlPBLW, kuteUmg, and iuuimg ker

Of 'tit adiniriiUc * L/nre himteir intpm von, and
we JuAil oiw^'tet. H list uj tou, Mr Batei ?

Halt*. 1*11 iiiMire jon Muxe%^; I can icaroe be-
Beve lov own ear« : Micfa a tMtptM: nud a brof^oe
w<Hjld uiaLc Hercules trcnible at fite-aiid-tnni-
ty ! But a<*av, k«aT, and gite liiin t>te- brit Itruad-
»ide in itie Park ; titers tou 11 And him liobUii^
«it(i tttat oMcurko:d, Kec'^tev.

HVtf. But Mill mir drcit wit the cbanctcr I
pUW

htph. The verr thine ! I* joof retinae readj,
and your part g'M by heart ?

HW. All is ready; 'tik an act of dcwair to
puiiikli folly and regard lucrit ; 'in the Ia»t ef-
fort of pure, hon'/urable unt; and if cvrry •re-
man tirfmld cxtrt the Mibe spirit for ilic Mme
out-of'fasliioii nriiy, there would be lefc^ buu-
IKM for Ductorf-C'ammont. Nim let the critio
Jauich at mv, if thi-y darr. {KtH mitk n>irit.

Jiepk. Braio! brariHimo! tweet widow!

[£xif after hfr.

Bales. Iluzia ! hujza ! [Exit.

SCENE III.— Be Par*,

Enter Whittle and Keckset.

Wliil. Yes >'^ »be is Irish; but so modctt,
10 mild, and w tender, aiul just enough of the
accent to Kivc a peculiar BHceli>efts to her word»,
which dfop from Iter in nionosyllahles, with such
a delicate rescnc, that I aIuiII have all the com-
fort, without tlic impertinence of a wife.

Keck. There our taste differs, friend ; I am for
a lively smart fpri in mv house, hu^h ! hu|;;h ! to
keep up my spiril?>, and make me merry. 1 don't
admire <luiiib wuitent, nut I ; no still life for me ;
I iovc the prittic prattle ; it Kta me to sleep, and
I can t:ikc a sound uAp, utiitc my -Sally and her
cousin are running and playing ubuut die house
like young cats.

Whit. I urn for no cats in my hnuse ; I cannot
sleep with a noise; tlie widow was made on pur-
pose fur me; blic- is bo liashful, lias no acquaint-
ance, and slie never would titir out of doors^ if
her friends were nut afraid of a consumption,
and BO force her into the air : Such a delicate
creature! you bliall see her; you were always
for a tall, cluiltcrinp, frisky wench; now, for my
part, I am with ttie old sayin;^

Wife a mou^e,
Quiet house;
Wife a cat,
prfritUful that !

Keek. I fkn'c care Ibr ^
a.''r:.id }

H'kit. Tfaetv eoes Batn : kt ■« «raM] lum, be
will '«oly be joking wkh bs : whca I fasre tiLea
a M-noa* tieuz inlo my farad, I caa*t bear to hare
it laiehed twt again. T^ **J* ''nend Ecck-
•ey — What bare we pA here ?

Keek. \^Lookiwg o«/-] Socae fine prancug
weodi, wiih her loren and fiMXmeu about her;
*ht:\ a py ooe, by bcr Moriotis.

Wkit, Were ihe ooC M fanodng, I should take
it for — No, ii is ioipossiUe; and yet is not that
my oefiterw w!th ber ? X forboMl lum ff***^™^ ta
htr; it can't be the widow ! I bope it is doi.

EtUer Widow, foUoreJ ht Nephew, tirtt
Footate'm, amd m biack Bey,

Wtd. Don't bother tne, joaa^ man, with your
darts, your cupids, and your panp; if yon had
half of them about too that you swvar toq hare,
they would have cured you, by fcillii^ yoa long
afti. Would you have me faitless to your oacle,
hah ! young man ? Was not I faitful to ytxi, \iU
I was ordered to be faitful to htm i hot 1 most
know more of your Eoelish ways, and lire more
am<m£ the Ei^lish ladies, to U»ro bow to be
faitful to two at a time — and so there's my sn-
swer for you.

Nrph. Then I know my relief, for I canooC
live without you. [Exit.

IVid. Take what relief you plase, TiMing jontle-
man, wliat liare I to do with dat } Ue is certainly
mad, or out of his sinses, for he swears he can't
live without me, and yet be talks of killiiu; him-
self? how does he make ont dat? if a country
man of mine had made stfcfa a bbroder, they
would have pat it into all the newspapers, and
Faulkner's Journal beside; but an Eogtishman
may lofjk over tlie hei^e, while an Irishman must
nut state a horse.

Keck. Is this the widow, friend Whittle }
Wliit. I don't know; [Sigkiag] it is, and it is
not.

Wid. Your ECrvant, Mr WhSttoI ; I wish you
would spake to your nephew nut to be whinii^
and dangling after me all day in his tl^rcen coat,
like a parrot : It is not for my reputation that
he shoulil follow me about like a bef^r-man,
and ask me lor what I had given him long ago,
but have since bestowed upon yoa, MrWhittol.

W flit. lie is an impudent beggar, and shall be
really so for his disobedience.

IIW. As he can't live without me, you know,
it will be charity to starve him : I wish the j»or
younz man dead with all my heart, as he tliinks
it will do hiin a grate deal of t^ood.

Keck. [To WuiTTLE.J She is tender, indeed !
and I think she has the brogue a little — bugh .'
hu-h !

M'hit, It is stronger to-day than ever I beard
It. [Staring.

Gabricr.]

BRITISH DRAMA,

6SS

I

I

Wi'rf. And are you now lalkinR nf my bropic ?
It is slMmy» tlie iiin»t fullest wlicn tlic wind ift
amcrljr ; it ku tbc uititc ct&ct ii|h>ii me a* uixtii
stninmeriiit; pt^nple™ they c«i)'t spnVe for iwtr
iiniKitiiiipiit, niid my ttui)(ue U R-uhI so lonac iii
tny laouili, 1 Ctin't stop it fur the lilc of inc.

Whit. What a cerrilile mitfortuoo-, friend
Keckbcy !

Kfck. Nut at all; the more tongue the better,

Wul. WTicn the wimi chnneeN T h.iv« nn liroanc
at all, Ht all. But come, Mr Whiitiil, ihm't let
tu bv tuUnr, uud liiik of our p(N>r relKlioiis : It
is imp<»5iti[e I'l be in tliii metr\i{M)ti» uf Lurnlon,
viil linvc air- t'ii)ui;lit but nf '([HTa*, pUvN timv
qucnuk'ft, uiiil puntuoiit, to keep up ui:tc'> spiriEt
ill tlic tvintcr; and Raiicloglt, Vauxlioll, and Mii-
rybone tircMxirk^, tn coul and refresh one iti rbe
auninifr. Iji! la! la! [&"Ai'<-

li'Air. I |irotc«t »he puts mc into a tweat ! wc
•halt have a iLiob about us.

Keck. The ittun; tlie uterner, [ »aj — who's
afraid ?

IV'ui. flow the people stare ! as if they nerer
uw a woinnti'» voice U;forc ; but n>y vivacity hm
gnc the (tetter of my good manners. TliJs, 1 &iip-
pOM, thii »traii^e i^cntleuian, li n near friend ojtd
rclntion r and, ns sucli, ni>t«vitlistandiiie his a{)»
prnraiKc. I &liail alwuy» irate hnn, Llinu^h I
nieht dislike liiin upon a nearer acquaintance.

Keck Madnin, tou dn ine hnitour f I like your
>kncu, and I like ynur person, nnd I envy n>y
__ " Wluttle; and if you were not enfta^et),
Mtl I were nut lunrrieil, I uould endeavour lu

nakc Diyself agreeable to yuii, tJmt I would

luitfh ! huiili I

WUi. Aud indce<l, sir. it would be very agra-
ftblc to ine ; fur if I should Imio you a» much a»
1 did my first dare husband, I shmdd always
have llic coinforl, ituit, m all liuniuti prubiibility,
my tormcuta would not In^t lout;.

Keck. She utler* ^oineihini; more ihan nraiiu-
ayllubIi-«, l'rie:id ! tliiiji livtter thuu haruaiii: she
Ka^ a fnic bold nav of tnlkim;.

\i'int. More bold than welcome! I am struck
all of a he:tp !

HW. What, are you low spirited, my dare Mr
Vhittol ? When \oii were at Scnrbnnmph, and
winning my altrclionis you were all mirth and
piety; fiud now vou have won me, you arc as
thmigliiftil about it as if we had been miuricd
sonK- lime !

H'AiV. Itiiteed, mndam, I i-nri't but say I am n
tiulu tlli>uG;liiful I nc tukt it by turns; you were
VCTT Mnrowful n month a^o for the Uis» of your
hasWod uutd that you could dry up your leius so
aoim natumlly miike« uic a little thoughtful.

Hid. Indeed, I ojuld dry up my tears fur a
doern husbands wlieii 1 was Mire of hiirini; a tir-
teeiilh like Mr Whitlol : that's vcrr natural.
pare, both in Kn^lanH nnd Dublin, too I

Jistk, 5b« won't die of a conftuinptiDO ; she

has a fine full-toned mice, and jou'U be verj
bnpny, Tora — Ilui;h ! hii{:h !

H'Ajr O yes, very hnppy.

Ifirf. Owl come, don't let o« he melancholy '
before the liinc: I am sure I lutvr been ntoped
up for a year uud a half — I WB?<oblii(cd lo inoura
for mv first huMtand, ihnt I mii>lit l>e sure of a
vccond ; nod my father kept my spirits in )ubjco> i
rion, a» (he best receipt (he Mud) for clmiiitioi:
widow into a wife; but now I have mr nniis
imd lees at hbrrty, I muM and «ill have my j
HM io)^ : Now, I nin out of tny catie-, 1 could dancQ
two DJ^ht^ toxcilier, and a dnv, X'ht, like ituy unic- I
ini£ bird ; and I'm in suih spirits, ttmt I hate gofc .
rid of my falbtr, I could llv o\cr the moon witli- i
out win^^ and liark njfiiin, befurf ihtincr. IllesC i
my eyes ! and don't I sec there Miw Nancy </- '
FlRrty, and Iwr brother cnpiain O'FUirty? lie j
was one of my dying Slrephons nx ^carlvirouph,
I have a very j-resit rciinrd for liim, nnd imi*C !
ninkc him u liiUe miserable with my h&ppiiicss.
[Ctfr/srvclL'omealonic. Skips! [To the sfrran/n.]
don't you oc gostrinz there ; show your livcrie."^
:ind bow to your master that is to U-, mid lo liia
friend, nnd hold up your heads n^d trip afiec
mc as lit^hdy as if you hnd no k'ci lo yrmr feet.
I shall be with you acain, jitutlcmcii, in the rtadc
of a fan — O, I'll have a husband, av, mn/ry !

iiiiti ! no ni*«

J|UftmtmH:c — elthtailc reserve — inoptM at home— •
■ •reed into tiie iiir — inclined to n cunsumpliiui —
Whsit a (li'icriplinn youpa\eof yourwifc ! Why,
4lie beal»inv SaIIv, T«>in !

Whit. VcA, and she'll l>«at mc, if I don't Inko
core. What a change iH here ! I mu^t turn nbout,
or this will turn my head. Diuice for two nijihta
Ui^cthcr ! nnd lenp over the m^wm * voii •diall
dance nnd leap by vourM-df, ihni I aui irMilvpd.

AVi'/c. lien; she romc? usaiii; it itors my
licuu giKKl 10 sec iKr — You are in hick, Toiu.

Whtt, 1 would ^ive a tingcr tu be out ul' widi i
luck.

JEaifT Widow, (Jc,

Wld. Iln. ha, ha ! (Ite pour captain is marelird
<ilT in n fury : he ran't l»rnr n* hi-nr ihui tl»a
lo»u has i-apitululrd to ynu, Mr Whittol. I Iuiv«
promised to inrrtKlurc him to yiiu: he wilt
m.'ike one nf my dnn'ilcri to take a little cierrisd
with me, wlKn you take your nap in ihc after-
noon.

Whit. Von shan't ratch mc nnppir>c, I OMure
\ou. \S Imt u disciM-cry mid csrnpe 1 hare made '.
1 am in a sweat with uic tJiought of tny dnn):cr !

r-JMrfff.

AVfA. I protc*t, cnnsin. there gi»c» my «if«v
and her friend Mr Mnc Drawn. What a fino
stately couple ihry are 1 I mu^t after them, niul
hate a laugh wiili them — now ihry iiii^lc nnd
walk (tuidij thnl 1 mayn't urcrtukc ibviu. Ma*

BRITISH DRAMA.

7AtSTCr.

dnm, your sprtnnt. Too'rc a hiippy mou, Tom *
iKi'L-p u|> viMir epiril^ uld boy ! Hugh ! hugli !^
■^hu9 afruiit I

[Eru.
Wul. I know Mr Mac Bravo extremely well,
[lie w OS very intinintt' at nur Iioum? in my first
VllusbwKl's liiiir; a [irral ciittfurt Uf was to iiic,
Flo be Hire ! Mc would icry oficii leave his clnrci
[laiid Knipnniiin!. for n little ronver-tntion Milh
I Biir '. He v.iVi lircd tit the Dublin unii'i^rsity ; —
[ ntid, bciiii: n ^«ry ducp sicbolar, bu tuic talents
> fur ft Inie A tHie.

Whit. She knows him, loo ! I (Jinll have mv
[}i0UHr over-run with the Mnc Brawns, O'Shouf-
()rn>, mid the blood of the Backwt^lls : Lurd have
XUcrcy U(Miil lue !
I Wul. I*ra.y, Mr Whittnl, is that paor spimllc-
I Sc^i.'d rruler iif a cdubhi of yours lulcly marri-
I «d ? Iin, lia. ha ! I don't pitT tlic poor crater liiii
wi£p, fur thnt a^e.ilili- ruu^Huf hu will soon re-
ward her for all her suiTcrings.

Whit. What a delivery ! a rcpric%-e bcft^reihe
I Jitidt wu!^ ttcil ! [Aiide.

Wi/i. Are you unw<!ll, Mr Whiltol? I sliould
be sorry y"u would full sick bftore (he huppy
dav. ^ mir heir*c in danger afterwards wmild
htr a firf-tit (-i>ii<4i>lMtiou to ine, because 1 should
Iin*!.' thr- pleasure of iiur*iiig you myself.

mtit. 1 hope net'cr to give you ihat trouble,
madttu).

Wift. No trouble nt all, at all ' I im-^ui-c vou,
sir. from luy m>uI, that I itbalL take great dcfij^lu
in the oeotMun.

Wftit. liMleed, madam, I believe it.
Wi/t. I don't care how »«on ; the sooner the
better; and the more danger the more honour:
1 iipake front my ticarL

Uliit. And Ml du I from luiiie, loadam.

[Sighs.
n ifl. Hut don't let us think of future ptensiire,
nnd iii'i;lirt the pn'^ent ftalisfaction. My ituui-
tuu-makcr itt waiiiitt; for mc to choose my riotbcs,
in which I filmll foi^et the sorrow<i of Mrs Brady
III the jnys uf Mpi Wliitlol, 'Ilwuipli I liiive no
fortune lavself, 1 *lmll hriiig a tolerable unv to
yoUf in debts Mr Whitiol; and wliicli I will pay
joo linfold ill lindernera: Yuur deep purM-, and
my open heart, will make us the envy of the tit-
tle grarc Line«, and the gmie little ones; tlie peo-
ple of quuticy, with no siiulf, and ^rale <)ouU
with no catili at all. I bupc you1l meet mc at
the pnntntin lhi» cveninc- Lady Kniititon, aud
licr ihiiitihirr MisH NErttlrduwu, and \ a ncv Tit-
tup, with half a dozen Alaccaroiiies, and tw<i Sa-
voury Viicrs, nrc lo tnkc tne there : and we
firfn»»>** n itmtc deal of chat nnd iiierriiitent, and
dancing alt tiiehl. ami all other kind uf renea-
ation». I am quilt- aiiutlier kind of a crater,
Tiuw I am a bird in tlie fields: I cao junket a-

twut a week together: T hare a fine comciir
tiou, aod nm nerer molested with vuur naatf f
pouni. Are vou ever troubled with vapours, Mr
Whittol > '

Whit. A little now and theii. tnodara.

Wid ni rattle thein away like Hnnke ! tlcK
are no vauuurt wh^rc I come. 1 liate ;oat
duntpt, sua your nerves, aiid your megnmi: tnd
1 had much rather break ynar rw with a liode
racketlins. than let any thinz get into yonr hmi
that ^kliuuld not I* there, Mr Whittol. *

Wfiit. I will tnko care that nothing shall be la
my head, but what ought to be there : V^'hat a
dcttvervncc t

Wid. [Looking at her watcA.] DIess hk 1 ho«
the hours of the chKb creep nway »hen we m
[>1u»cd with (lur L'uinpuiiy ! Hut ] inubt Ime m,
fortbf'rc are half a hundred people watting Kir toe
tn pick vonr porket, Mr Whittnl AikI there il
my own brotlier, lieutenant O'Neale, it to arm*
thi; mnmiug: and he ii no like me, too voild
not know us asunder when we arc t'j|>etber. Tm
will btj very fond of hitn, p<H>r |nd ! He livi
his wits, a;, you do by your fortune, arwi «a
may ns^t^t one another. Mr Whittol, T<iur
dii-ui, 'till we niecrt at the pnittAuii. Follow la^
Pompey ! and !^kip«>, do you follow lliiii.

Pout. The Onccararo white mim nn let kWb
hoy go first after you, tui^ai*; tlicy puU ud
pinch me.

Fintt. It is n shame, your hH^yship, thai a
bln^k necrro should take plare of Enjn»h cbti^
tiaiis — We can't follow him. iudc4^.

Wid. Then you may follow one another a«
of my »ar\"ice : if you lolluw me, you »hall ^itlo*
him, for he ^hall ^o before int': (_'an'l I wAi
hini your lupvnor, iik the law^ dI" tlic land han
made him your equul? ttK-rcfore, resign ai &)1
n« you pta»c; yoo shan't c■ppn^c ^f irrnuncnr, aid
keep yourplncc:*, t'lo; thnt is iiot|:uud pt^ljail
Knjjltmd or Irtilnnd either; su, co4De aloabP>*

pcy, l>e afttr poinp before nw lir WiO^

most tiiulcrly youn.

n/tit. Most tinderly your-i ! [Mmnthier]^
EcjmI, I believe you nre, un*i any b<Mfy\ eUt—
O what an escape hnvrr I had ! But Ih>w iM t
clear myself of this bu-i^iness f 111 Krte her ■ t
would bad mmtey, put her off into odwr hm*
My nephew is fool enonich u> t« in lav* wik
her, and if 1 Kive htm n furtunc, hell take if
jitwtd and the bad tu^etlier — He ahaUdoK^'
stnrrc. I'll send for Biite-. dirt-clly» cwif««T
fotly. a^ Un pardon, wind ttini to mv nrp*^
write and declare off with the widow, ud Kp^
rid of her tindemas as fa«t as I can.

Gabbick.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

ACT n.

I

SCE>n! I.— Jl room in Wm-m-t's hoiae.
Enter Batcs and Ncpolw.

Nrph. [Taking him by the hand.] We are
bound to you tor cvrr, Mr liarrs • I can ^^ly nn
nKirc; wnn]» but til vxprias lUe real lccliiif'» of
ihc Uiirt.

Bitteu I know you nre a good lad, or [ wnuld
not have mcilHlcn iu the matter; tint tlir htiisi-
ncM it not ^>t coinpieted till tignatum rt tif^il-
Uttvm.

Ktph. Let mr fiv to the widow, axuJ tctl h«r
how |iro«pcmu«tY wc- po on.

Batrt, Don't w> hi a linrry, young nun! She
i^ nitt iu the dark, I assure yuu* nur \as she yci
finished her iKiri : so nipiial un actri.-M slioutd not
be idle ill the last art.

Vtph. I could winh that yoa would let mc
come iiitit my unclt-'s propoMtl at once, without
*'*'\in»; hint fttrlhrr.

Bates. "Iheii I dwlarc off Tlioo silly yotinp
man, nro vou to be duped by ytiur own weak
pMtdniuure. aod hi« wurldly crat*l ? IhiMlues not
ftrtM: froiki hiK li»vc and jiistice to yoii, hue I'niiii
lli^ own miserable ^iluntion ; he niuit be tortu-
red intu iu»ticc : lie »l)all not only fiirc up yuur
whole rtilato, which l»r i!s loth to part with, hut
joit mu.\t nuw have u premium fur n^Tceiiig tt>
juurown tnipptntus. What, shutl your widow,
with wit mid spin't, that would do the )^ntc]>t
hofumr III iiur t>ex, go through her task cheerful-
ly, ind !ihall your courage ^ttc way, and be
<Mttdonp hv a womaii'4 ? — fie for shninc \

^'rfih. I bee vnur ptintun, Mr Kntrs ! I will
follow yiHir directiuns; br a» hard-hcaricU si»
my uncle, nnd vex hi» bo<ly and mind for the
good of his 9ouL

B«tf*. That'? a cood child ! and remember
iJial your own, and the widow's future happine.!>>,
depends upon your both ^oi -g through this busi-
nrv with spirit; make your uncle fcrl for liim-
icir, thiit he luay do justice to other pcuplc. U
the widow ready fur tlie la^t Experiment r

A~<r/.'A. She is. tlut tliink wliat 'jnutty \ ehall
feci mIuIc s\w ift in Hiin^er^!

hatct. lln, ha. hn ! Uic'tt be in no dnnj^er ;

be»ide«, ftlmn'l we ho at liiind to awi«t her?

Hark ! I hear him coming: : I'll probe hi* callouo
heart to titc quick ! and, if wc arc not paid for
our iroiiblc, Mir I nm uo politician. Fly ; iiuw

, ahall do !

[Exit Xi-phem:

Enter WtiiTTLi:,

IThit. Well, Mr Hotw. Imve you talked wiili
i^»» nephew t tn not be overjoyed ut the propo-

Batet. Tlie demon of di»cnr*l hai been nmonf
voo, and tia^ untuiieil ilie whole fainily; you
have screwed him too hiuh: itic vunti inon ii
iHit of his beuM*^ 1 think: he stores and mopea
ntiout, uiid u,i;li!< — ht^ikfi at ine, inileeit, but gitua
verv nl'>nfd iiiiswcrs. I don't IlLc bim.

Whit. What'* the matter, think ynu ?

liutrs. Uh»t I hate iilways expected, Thcra
is a crack in your hniiily, and yuu take it by
turn* * you have biid 11, nnd now transfer it to
your nephew ; which, to your shame be it spo-
ken, is the only transfer you hare erer miida
hitn.

Whit. Bat am not I ftoing to do him mora
tlinn juMice^

Untn. As you hare done him murli less than
jiHtire hiihertni you can't bc^in too 9o<m.

Whit, Am xxvA I fomg, 10 j^ive tiiin tlic lady
he likes, and whicli I wa^ going to marry my-
self?

ifc»f«. Yes that is, vou are taking a perpetu-
al blotter njfyuur own back, to dap it upon lusf
U'hut a tender uncle you are !

Whir But you don t ctnisidcr the estate whidt

I klirill j;iTC tutn }

Jiaict. Itestorc to hiinf you mean ; 'tis hi^
owi]^ uiid YOU should hu«c itivcn it up tonp atjo:
y'lu m'lst i^o more, or Old Nick will hare vuu.—
Your nephtrw won't lake the wid«iw 0(1 your

Imnds without u fortune throw jiim ten ti»u-

&and into the hnr^in.

IVhit. Indeed, hut T Uian't ; he shall run mad,
iitid I'll marry her myselt', rather than do that. —
Mr B'ltc-s, be a true friend, and sooih my ne-
phew t<i consent to my projui-ial,

l^itln. You have rii?cd the fieud, aod ot>i;hC
to lay him; however, I'll do niv best for you :—
When the head is turned, nothinc citn hnng ic

riuht aipiin m soon a-* ten lliytiituid pounds. ■'

Stuill [ pn)mi>c for you?

ll'AfV. I'll sooner go to Dedlnm rar^lf. [Exit
H»its.l Why, I am in a worse cumhtion imin C
wns before ! If this wtdow*» fuiher wjil not let loe
be off without providing for his dautfhicr, I ma/
lose n gn*nt sum uf niuni'v, and none of ut nit
the hetlt-r t'.r it. My nephew htilf inml I my*
self liulf married ! and iw rtmedjr for either of
us!

Enter Servttnt.

■Si'r. Sir Parrtrk ()*Neale is cotne to wait up-
on vou; would ymi please In see tiim f

Whit, llv all meuns, ttie vcfv pem:i I waul-
ed; don't let him wuit. { Ktif .Srrtw*/.] I won-
der if he huH oren my letler to lite widow; I
will M>uml him by dr>:rcv», that I mny Lc sure of
Dij mark before I alnke wjr blow.

t^

BHrriSU DRAMA.

[Gauick.

EntfrSm Patbice.

Sir Pnt. Mr Wliizilf, ytmr humble scrrant —
It p^ti tne t^reni pk-amtr, that an old Jfiallcmnn
of vnur pntfH-rtv, wiii bate tlic Ituaour uf bciite
tiniuil uiih the fnmity nf the O'NnUrs ! We have
bet-n IrMi mucii jiiulifinen not lo «peail our i-^
tale. w> yoo Imxc luurle viurtelT a kiud of j<iuti4r-
tniii ht freltinc one. One riin« out mic way,
ftui I'ltilirr ruiti^ ill another ; tihicb roal:<« tlit-in
' Ixith loci-t at lait, oud Lecps up tJie baiauce of
[•Kuropc.

\ WAit. I am nnicb nbltjEMl la voo, tir Patrick;
I ] am an old |;cntlcman, jou mv true; and I mu

> Ihinkioe-

Sir Pat. And I wa« tliinltlnff, if jroti wrrceTcr
»ootd, mv dnii°liUTv'iin*C make ^tit) yDUl^: HEaiii :
, SIh* biu a» rich line thick bluod in her Tcin« ti»
Hiiv io all Ireluml. 1 uisli >uu tiad :i swatc rm-
trr of a diuixbtvr like mine, that we miglit make
m double ciY)» of tt.

Whit. That would be a double rross^ indeed !

{Audf.
Sir Pat. Thoofh I was mUerabltf cnoiii^h with
fHT lint wife, who liad the detil of a tpint — aud
llie very inndel of her dnugbter — -yet n bntre man
never iliriuk^ from daoi^cr, and I may hftve bet-
ter luck atiotlicr time.

H'AiV. Y«^ ; but I nm no hmvc man, 6ir Pa-
trick ; nnd I bc^iin to shrink already.

Sir Pat. I luivc bred licr up iu ^rrat a'lbjrc-
tton ; iite is as tatiie cis a youn|; coll, aud as liiw
dcr lis a Hukiitg cliiLkt'ii. You will find her a (rue
jiititlL-numoji ; and k> knuwing, tliat yiiu can
teach bcr nothing ; She briii<:<i erory ihint; but
money, uud yiiu have enough of thnt. if yiw have
nothing else; aud that ii what I call the balHnce
of things.

Whit. But I hare been considering your
djniyhler's great de>erts, nnd my great nee — ^ —

Sir Pat. .She'a a clmrmin<: crater; I would
Tenture lo say that, if I was not her father.
Whit. I sny, sir, n» I have been considenDg

Snur dsuchter'i ^rrtit dc^rts, nnd u I uwn I
!ive urcnt dements

Sir Pat. To be sure \oa hare ; but you rnn't
lictp that: And if my daughter wns lo incntion
miy thing of a nocriiii: at ynur anc, or your stin-
ginesn. by the bntnncc of poKor. but I would
nwke hiT repaie it » hundred linicn ii> your fiire,
lo nmke her a^^lintncd of iL But mum, old jon-
licmnn, the devil n word of your infirmiiic* will
•he touch upon: I hnve brought her up (o soft-
ness, and to ^enttenesft. as a kitten to new mdlc ;
«hc vtill bpnke noihinc; hni no, and ^-i, fts if fahf
were dumb ; and nn tame mhhit or pigeon will
keep h<>n»r, nr lie mure inganiuus with bcr needle
and tandtotiriie.

Wftif. fjht' is vn»tly nltered ibcn, since I sfiw
her lust, or I Imvi- lu!)t my senses; and, iti eiili«T
ci'MT. U'e had iniich better, since 1 mubt speak
plain, Dul cuue toj'etticr.

S*r Pat. Ti]l jon Mv OMVTwd, jou immt J—
With all my heart, it b ibe maim yiili' far

that, and Iwe our fHnnly. 1 oewr m* ' '
iXSaiic, yunr iaothcr-»>law, wlm. piar
n dead, aod can tK^er be a att^An-to tum i
*iill the w««i bcfurc I fnamcdbcr; aadlfil
not rare if I bad neter necn Hrr tbcA: vUA«
a ccKnfort, loo, in cbm t>f daub, or aadAoiik
Hfe.

WAit. But yoa don't ondcncaad tat, m T^
triirk. 1 say

&r Pal. 1 vty, bow can Unt be> «bM acM
apal>e Koiilisb?

Whit. But you "'*»«»l--«' tny mtmmit^ aai im^
ompnhend mc.

Sir Pet, Tliro, voa don*l 0'«nprcSco4
self. Mr Whiale ; ai>d I Xuw f ocic tl*
phecy to find miL, after yuu have ^fiiL^ <
ne'er «»* m yoo.

Whit. Let me intrcat you to anrtid lo vr a
Utile.

Sir Pat. I do aueod, maa ; 1 dott'i mcmft
yon — out with it !

Wlnt. Your daochicr —

Sir Pat, Vonr wife that i< to be. Co Oft—

Wh:t. My««ifc that U no^ to be— Zwm*'
will Yuu hear me?

Sir Pat. To be, or not to be, is tlat df
qiic^ion? I can snear, too, if be waaUa liHk
itf iliiit.

Whit. Dear sir Patrick, bear tne!
myself unworthy of her ; I hnrc (he u
paid fur tnu. sir Patriik ; I shrtuid think i_,„
hiiiioured by being in youe fnimly ; but then ■
many rea.M>ns —

Sir Put. To be ^ure. there are maayiwf
why an otd man ^tuuld oot niamr ■ yoaa^ •%
man; but that <mna your bu«)n«%s aixl niil taat^

Whit. I have wrote n letter to yimr daqflBl
which 1 WHS in hopes you bad aecOr and bM^
mc an answer to it.

Sir Pat. What the dn-il, Mr Whinlr I ^m
make a letter-porter of tun ? Do vna hhqt.
yuii dirty felluw, mih yoor ca^h, tlutt sr JSini
D'Knle "iiuld carry your letter? ? I «oqM !•«
you klK>w thot I di-spix; ynur letr. - ' ' te
betuog It! them; mir wnuld I ■. -' v

the kin^. Heaven ble*» bim I u.^iv^. .i j«
from myself.

Khii. But, dear ur Patrick, don't bffiatf*'
slon fi>r nothing !

Sir Pat. \\ hat ! is it nothing In mt\e > pom
[Ki^tinan of mc ? But I'll gp to i ■ 9-

rectly, for 1 Itave not m.>ci» ber li ' , /I

find that you hni e n rittcn any tbii'K iImi 1 *«^
understand, I shall tnke it a» an nfmml i*- ^
fnniilv; nitd you shall ritl>er h '
blonrf of the (^N'olca, nr I i»il) »f
of the red puddle of the \\hi«l.
rttiirHi.] IlnrkV, you Mr \VI
Whintle, wliiil'a your nnuio ? You ■
till [ come b^iik; if you uflcr to ate, driuL,*

ihmk^JP

Garrick.3

BRITISH DRAMA.

ACT

deqt, till my honmir i« MiiRlied, 'twill be th«
wnt*t mule you ever tool m your lite ; vuu Imd
bi'ttcr (tat a rcM, and die ai the eii'rl of f»ix
months, tliim unrc to late yiur houxp. So nuw,
Air Weezie, yuu arc La do a^ you plaac.

[krit Sta Pat.
IVhit, Now die devil is nt work, indeed ! It'
901IIC tnimclc dmi't vsitc mc, I »hutl run mad,
like my nrphew, nnd husf: a lung Irish sword
ihmu^ti ine into the barpiin. Wliilc I aid in uiy
«*iiM'A, 1 won't liave ihc woinnn; aiul, tliprpfore.
he tiiRt in uut of tlioiii »hall hare her, if I ^ivc
half my fortoiw to make tlie mttch. Thomu !

Eater TooMAS.

Whit. Sad wor^ Tliomas !

T*u. Sad work, indeed ! why would you vhuik
of ntarrying i I knew what it %vould coue to.

Whit. Why, what is it come to?

Tfio. Il is in ull the paiiets.

Wkit. So much the tN.-Uer ; tlien nobody will
bclic^T il.

TAn. Bui ihey come to mv tu toquire.

»H'Air. And ynu rontnidicc it ?
7^. Whnt «ii;jiihps tliut? I was telling lady
G«bble\ foutman at the diHir ju»t iiour, tliat il
was all a lie; and yt>ur ncpftcw luokfi out of the
l«vo-pfiir-of-Moin window, with eyes all on fire,
juid telU tiiR whole tttory: Upun that, there ga-
thered Huch li mob !

Whit. 1 sliall be inurticred, ond have my house

palled down into tltc b-tri^in !

^ Tho. It is all quiet acain. I told them the

B* yoUTtg mau was out of lii» krmx, and thni you

were out of town; m» they went away quictlv,

hihI ^nid they would come and mob you aaoUicr

_ cixnr-

■ Whit. Thomas, what shall I do }
^L 7^0. N'nihiiig you ha%'e done, if you will have
^■■Uler« mend.
^^^ Whtt. I aiD out of my drptJi, and you won't

V lend mcyour hand to draw mc out.

y ^^o. YoQ arc nut of your depth to fall in

love; swim away as fust u you cnn; you'll br

drov^ned, if you mnrry.

^L WUi. I'm friefitencd out f>f my wits. Vcs,

B ^«i« 'ds all over with \oc ; I must nut Mir out of

V Biy houM:; but am ordercrl to .stay tu be mur-
I dcred in it, fnr aught I know. What are you

niutterini^ Thomas? Prithee speak out, and com-
forl mc !

'Tho. It i* nil a jiiilsmcni upon you; becauw
vrHir liniilicr't fnolish will %av*, tlu' yonii^ man
nui»t have your consriit, von won't \vi hmi hare
her, hut win marry the w'ldflw yourwlf! That's
■ he il»c in the niimpcr; yuu can't eat the oais,
[ «iif1 wuo'l Irt those wlio can.

H'Aif. But t cooMint that he &hnll have both
the widow and I tie fortune, if we can get him in-
to bi« niLht M!nsc».

'fftu. Tor titar 1 should lose mine, 111 get out

of bedlam ns soon a« poMible ; you imul provide
younelf Miih niiother servant.

WMit. Tlic whole earth conspire* acainst me !
You shall stuy witli me till 1 utc, and t • o you
shall have a f-ond legacy ; and I wmi't bve mti^
I prutuiM: \uu !

[K'tnckiug at thr door,

jHW. Here arc the underCakei-» aln-udy.

[Erit Tno.

IVhit. Wlinl shall t do ? roir head can't bear
il ; I will hang iuy>ielf for lear of being ran
liiroiigh tlie body.

TnoHis rcfurna vitA hitU.

Tho. Half o score people I never »aw before,
with these bills nnd draMs upon you for pay-
ment, signed Martlia Brady*

ll'AiV. 1 wish Martha Brady was at the bottom
of tho Thames ! What an impudent cxlnivae^'mt
bnfi^Sr, to bcpzi her tricks ulr«iid_^ ! Send them
tu the dei il, ami .<ay I won't pay a fanhiui; !

Tfio. You'll Itave another mob about the door.

[Going.

Whit. Stay, stay, Thomas; tell them 1 am te-
ry busy, and the? mn»t come to morrow mom-
inj^ Stay, stay ! that is pmmisin;' pnyment. N'n,
IK>, no; tell them they must stay till 1 am mar-
neid, nnd soihey will be satis^d, and tricked in-
to the boTvnin.

Tho. When you are tricked, we shall all be ai^
tisficd. {Aiii<k.

{Rrit 1 110.

Whit. Tliat of nil dreadfot thin-^ I should
think uf a wotiiun, and that woman should be %
widow, and that widow should be an Iriith one !
tjuem I'ifbf Tult />f/-*/«'/r— Who have we here?
Another of the family, I sappose }

[Wbit. retira.

Enter Widow, om LiEmsAXT O'MtAtE, Jieas-
ingiyjlulterai, and putting tip his ucord, Tno-
Uk$J'oltoviHg.

Tho. I hope vou are not hurt, eaptoin f

Witt. <> not tit all, at all; 'ti« well ihey run
uway, or I should have made them run fn»lcr : I
shall leach them how to snr«3;rr, and ItKik through
glasses at tlteir belters. These are your Macco-
roons as ibeycall themselves; By my Mini, but I
would hnvR stood till I hod oirrUiLcn litem*
These whipprr-siiap|ier« look so moch more liko
ifirls in breeches, than those I sec in petlicoMs^
that, fait nnd ifut, it i« a pity to hurt them ; Tlte
fair «ix ill I^ndon here, seem the mo^t mnsculioo
• >r the two. Uot to bosincw: fricml, where if
your muster ?

ITto. There, ci^taiu ; Ibofwhe basiHitofliiiid-
cil vuu.

U'id. If yoQ are tmpartineni, iir, you will of-
frml me. I.ntr the room.

'i'ho. I value luy life too mud) not to do that

6GB

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gabrici.

— What a raw-boncH Tiirtar! I wish lie had not

beeu cau;;lit uiid a^'IU licrc.

[.'hii/d fo hix matter, and erit.
iVhil. Ilcr l.rotht-r. Iiy nil tliiil'-.tvrnlile! And

■s likr Iter us Iwn t^'»t'» ! I &uciit nt tlic »ght of

hill) ; Tin sjtrrv Tlicmiai is gone He hu been

ijuarretliiii; nlrrady.

Wid. Ik ynur iiiiinc Wbitlul t

Wkit. sir 'in'ite is WliittJc, tiol Whittol

Wnl. Wo slmn'i »taiui lor tnttes And tou

were buni mid cliristcm^d by tltc Uiuue uf Tho-

tawf

Wkit. So ihev lold me, sir.

H ;(/. Then iliej told iw \it% fait ! W) far, bo

Emtii.^l'l'akrt nut a letter,^ — Do you know that
iiiid-tMiiins ?
Whit. Art Mri:ll as t know dii» (ckmI friend of
iiiiilc, nh«i h(')|*i> :nr: ti|Kfii ^iiirh ucr':i>ii)n«.

[iSAott'in^ Au rifitit hnnii, atiii tiatting.
Wid. Vuu liud bccicr not stiow ymr iccth, sir.
, 4ill wc coiue Ut Utf jokffs ibc haud-wriliiig i<<
yoitn*?

H Ai7. Yci, hir, ii is miiic. [Ajt^s.

Whi. Dcach tuid powder! What dn you n^U
w Jbr } are. you aidiaiucd or tarry far your houd v-
[.work^

WAil. Pftrtly one, i»rtly t'oUwr.
H'(V. Will you be plawirl, sir, to nwic it
k^litud, lh>it yi)u tuay *>i)ow i< again when yoti
bare tt^

Wfiit. [Takts Ail Utter, and rfru/*.] }t!ttdittn-^
Wid. Wniiifl yim h<* pluM'ci t'l let U*i klinw-

wh'it madam Villi immn ? fnr wntnoii of qiitilitv.
Land vriiiiicii of tio <)u.ility, mid Monicti of ull
Lqualitirs ">"(■ sn mixt lujiftluT, ihat you rif-n'i
fknmv rinp t'ruiii TuLlior, Biid tire all caJli d
] CDBdnin<i. Vuu »Ju>uld ulMuyi read itic tub»crjp>

tioii before V'lU open (tie tetlcr.

Whit. I beg votir pHrdun, Mr. f Hoa't lik«
'this cercutrmy, [/JuVc] To Mrt Dradv in Pall-
I Hall.

Wid. Now prosnde— Fire and powder, but

^'1 wonid

WhiL Sir! nliat'n lliR inntliT?

Wid. Ntiihiug lit nil, sir; pmy ^o on.

Whit. yiieudM-^f ' iMadttin — as I prefer your
[;' liappiiii'as to tl)e ludiilgeucu of my own piu*-
7 * siiin**— — ^

Wid. 1 nil! uiit prefer your happiness to llie
piwlulgencc of my pas^icim Mr Wliittul; radi-

Whit. ' I must confess that I am unworthy of
^^ytnir dinniis and tiriiics '

W'id. Very uiiworlliy, iiiilci-d. Rude on, ilr.

Wlut, ' I lave fur some days had a scvrrc
*^* siniciiir between my justice and my pai^oii' —

Wid. 1 hnvf hiid im Mruiij^c nt tUl: Jkly jus-
tice and pauinn arc agreed.

Whit. • The I'omner has prevailed ; and I lies
' leave to resign hum, with nil yuur iicc<Mtipli>li-
* ments, to some more dcstrviug, ihw^h out

* tnfire ndminn^ wctbd^ dun joar ntost nam'

* bif and detotcd/

* Tnotias Whittle.^
Wid. And miicrahfe asd devoted ytim
— To the {i*i!4M.Tipt ; radr on.

WhU, * PuikiAcripi : Ixc me have your pdt,
' but nut your aiitErr.*

Wid. lu tiii»nci to tills lore epistle, voa piti*
ful Iclluu', my ur\cr prci^nLt you wiih ii^t
liiidvreiit wishes ; ntiH assures you, tSiit v\m late,
as yuu de^irt, her ptiy, and ihv K;ci)cruu^y duvn
ber conl<.Mnpu too, iato the biunrnin.
W/iit. Till itifinitcly ubric.cd to tier.
Wid. I niuSit Ux lave, ill the nuite of all our
fumitr, to preM:-!!! the mitim; to you-
Whil. [ am ditto io all the lamily.
Wid. But as a faniche of pnxntse tn any rf
our faintly viv'a never suSerrd witbout o ' '
into somebody'ft body, I have frxed upon
(11 he your operator; nnd I believe thm \
find timt I h:ii'f as tiue a hand at tfai« not
will tiiieyou as little pain, as any in the
kingdoms.

[Sit* doiPft and UxMcnM ker kart Imtk
Whit. Fur Heaven's sake, capcaio, mImiii
you about ?

Wid. I uluays loosen my gwtcrs for iW
a<|vaMt;i^of liincmp ; it is for your Mke, a» m1
a^ uiy oMti; for 1 will be t«vic« Ottvnj^ ym
barftv btfuri' \Tiu shnll feet nie oitcv,

Whit. What a hloody fellow it it ! 1 «tt
lliomiM nimld cumc in.

Wid Come, ur, urepmre yaar«r1f ; yng ttt
nut the itr^i, by half a acorej tJjM 1 luue ml
tlinuif^h tuid llini!i)£h the Itrart, before they kac«
nli3t was the mntict witii thcia.

Wht. But, captoin, aijppoae I wiU mmi
yiitir siMcr !

Wid. I Itave not the Uwte ohjcrtioo. if ym
rceover ai your wounds, ('nl|%ei>D OXivmtH
lives vfry liappy with my Rreiit aunt, Mrs I>t*
rah O'Nale. in tlie oiuniy of (yulwav ; cufpt
n stdhII a!itJiiii!i hr ^ut by my runmuc luti
ihrui^h the Iuuks at the Ciirrough ■ lie «iaU
have foruikcii tier, if I had nitt stnpfed ka
perfidy, by a f.mou* family styptic \ h»\t Wk.
O ho f my little uld boy, bat yoa shall cet il

Whit. What shall I dn ? Well. «r. tfl

muit. I must : I'll meet yuu to-momiw woimi
in llydo-Purk, let the cottKoucnc* be nfetf <t
wUI.

11 W, For fcoryou mi^ht fon^t^t ilmtfanv. 1
rau)t beg to be indulged with a httJe |Ma^
now. I hai e set my bcart apoa ir ; *nA t^
birds in hand ii wortn otte iu the biubc^ ^
WliltciiL— Cmne, sir.

Whti. But I hsre not settled my maftrr^

Wid O we'll K-ttlo them in a trice, 1 •*■
rant you.

f

Garricr-]

BRITISH DRAMA.

Whit. But T don't und«ritatid the sword ; I
had raihpr tqtht with |)i»t>»lB,

W'tii. I mil vcr; Uuppv it ii in my power tn
oblige rou. Thcrv, bit, uLc vuur clioice; I will
pliisc yi>u if I can.

[Offen put oh.

Whit. Out of ttic pan Into the fire ! clii-re'A im
pnttiiiK hill) off: If 1 had choticii p )ii>OLi, 1 dnrc
swpar \\i' WaA arwmc in hii picket, I/nkV,
jouit|: iteiitlriiian, I urn an old i\\%&^ and \uu'll
Itec uo credit by killiin; mo ; but I tinfc b
nppbcw 94 v')>iii|{ at yourself, nnd yoa'll get luorc
hoiMMir in tMcintr liim,

IFirf. Ay, and more plrasiirc loo ] ripert

•inple satisfuclioii I'rtun hiiii, after I have doue
your bnnne»4. Prepare, sir !

Whit. Wlial iliv devil ! wnn't one Kn-e yaar
turn } I oiu'l ^s^U utid I Won't fight : I'll du any
thine rntlter th^m tii;)it. I'll marry your sister.
My nephew shnll nuirry lirr : I'll tiive hiinull my
fortune. Wlitic MnulH llic fellow huvc f Here,
Kcphow ! 'rh(iinu9 ! intinlcr. tnurd^r !

[ lifjUft^ and ittt purtuu.

Enter Bates and XcPUtw.

NtnA. What's the matier, un<-le f

Wtnl. Murder, thnt'x nil : That rufhon there
wouH kill itie, ami eut me after»;irdi.

Nrph. I'll find .'i wnv to cool him! Cnme out,
wr, I am mn mad a» yuur»elf. I'll mitlch you, I
wmmint you.

[Goins out with him.

Wid. m follow you all the world over.

[OiMS^e aOer him,

Whit. Stay, nay, nnphew ; vuu shati't fi^ht :
We chilli be exposed all over tlic town ; nml you
may lone your life, and I »linll be run**l from
morninc to iii|;bt. Do, iicpKrw, make yourself

»and mc happy ; l>c the ulivc>Lniiiclt, and briitt;
pence into my family. Itetiim to thn widow.
1 will ffive you my consent nnd your fortune, and
» fortune for the widow ! tit e thuuftand pfninds !
Do persuade faint, Mr BnteK

Siatea. Do, sir; thifi it n very critlrni point of
your hfc. 1 know you lore lirr; 'im the onlv
lucthod to reslore us nil in nur ^f-n^frv

A'r/'A. 1 mu<it talk in private tirst with this
bot youne gentlcnuin.

Wilt. Aft private as you plase, sir.
Whit. Thkc their wi.>apon> awny. Mr Bates:
and du you follow me to inv f^itidy ft wilncK'imv

rTtpftuit : It tt all ready, aiid only wants aisninc,
onto atoHK, eomc alone ! [ Knl.

lialci. Victoria, victoria ! jjlve mn your swords
arMl p1^tol3 : And now do your wont, you spirit-
ed, loving, J uung couple; 1 could lenp out nf my
•kin! [KxiV.

The [Pcrping ia 1 Joy, jo» to yno, ye fond,
cbamiine pair ! ilw toi is mnclit. nnd tite yuunc
laraba muv skip and plujr. I leave you to vour
Cransporu ! " [£j(7.

Vol. la

Nfph, O mj rharroing widow ! what a day
liave we i^one through !

irid. I would so thrnupb ten tiioesasiBuch
1-) d<-ceive an old anionjus spark like yttnr
uncle, til purcliatc a yoinif: one Itke lii^ nrpltew.

i\V/rA. I listnied nt the dtxir all this last M«ne;
niY heart nn» AHitutcd »itli teu thuusaud fean.
SiipfHise my uncle had b«m stout^ and drawn
(n> »word ?

Will. I should hare ran away ns he did.
When two cowarda meet, the strufE^lc is, who
shall run first ; and sure I can beat an old laaa
at any ihin|.

Neph. I^rmit me thus to seal inr hniipineM;
\Ki$*fi her httnti.] and he aaaured, ihni i am aa
scn^tilr OS I think myself undcttcr^inf; of it.

Hid. I'll tell you what, sir; were 1 not vire
you descrvtd soote pains, I would not haru
taken any paini for you- And don't imacioo
now, becnuM! I have gone a little tuo far fur th«
tnan 1 love, that I shall qo a Urtle too far when
1*0) your wife. Indeed I si'n't: I have done
more timn I shoidd befiwe 1 atn your wife, be-
cause I WHS in despiiir; hut [ won't do ika mudi
as I may when I am your wife, ihoufh everf
lri<^h woman is fund of imitating English fa-
shions.

Heph. Tbou diTine sdorpble woman !

[Knceis and ktMtca ker hmiuL

Enter W u ittlb aaif Bates.

Bates. Confunon ! {Jude.

Whit. [l\rHinx to Batis.] Heyday ! I an
afraid hi» nead is not risht yet I he wu> iLiKcliii^
and kiuing the captain's hand.

[JUide to Bates.

Batcu Take no notice; nil will come about.
[Aude to Whittie,

Wid. I find, Mr WhittuI, your family hnes
kissing bettor dinn ^f;htin|: : lie swears 1 am as
like my sister a.% two pistons. I could excuse
his raptures, for I hitd rnlhcr lieht the lirst
friend I have, than slobber and salute hini a la
Froncoise.

£iifiT Sta PixairK O'N'ealc

•Sir Pai. I bofie, Mr Whiwtf, yonll eiruae my
comini; back ti> e^vc vou an answer, without
Imi ine nny to i^vc. I henr a ^rate dale of newt
ai»'jt mywlf, and came to know if it be true.
Tlwy !ay my son is m London, wlim Iil^ trlU me
himsvif by IdtiT here, that he's ut Xjincnck ;
and 1 have bcrn witit my datichter io tell Iwr
ibc news, but slic would not unj at home tn re- \
ceive it, «» I am conic— O ji« ma chrer^ wif
tittle dft ovtit iron', whiit have mc ^ut l*ere.' a
piece oliiKiinuHT) ! Here ittmy mxi nnddauichtrr
ton, fait ! W hut, an- %ou Mearictg lint biutcbes,
INtt, to sec huw du-% become you wheo yuu aro
Mti Weiueir

r

:

t

570

BRITISH DRAMA.

[GAKBiriC.

Witt. T bee T"or pardon for thnt, sir ! I wrsr
them before luitrriac**. bnauie I think Lbcjr be-
cunio a wi>man l«ttcr than »fnr.
|^Al^ ^\h)lt, it not tlii» your son?

[AitontMhed.
Sir Pat. So, but it is mv daughter, and that'b
the Miuc thing.

U'id. And your niecr, ur, which is better t)uui
eitlier.

Whit. Mipriiv well ! And I suppose yoa have
not lost TOUT wtr*, vouni; man !

Ar/)A. 1 »ym|)Hthiz(- witli yaa, Mr; «c losi
tliciu tugcthcr^ uitil f'ouuri them vt iltc some
Ithne.

Wkii. Hrrt'k villsiiiv ! Afr BalM, ptiri! roe tlie
er. Not a fftrthiiig shall they tuve 'till die
Bw fcivcs it thrm.

Ajfrs. We'll cl*cal the law, and gire it th«n
Duw. [Oives Af/fAoii the paper.

Whit. ]{c may take hi^ ovrn, but be shau't
bove a ^xpence of the five thousand poDnds 1
'protDiscd him.

Batct. Witness, guod folks, he owns to the
prcnnise.

Sir Pat. Put I'll witncw dat, or any thii%
^cIm-* in a Eo«rd cauw.

JVhif. W Imt ! niti I rliouscd ajni'in?
Btitts. Why shiiuld iK>t mv friend be choused
L4>ul ofn liiiirjutiiiTfor thetir»t time? Your hard
] Usaav ha* 4hiir|M-tied jciur iKphc*'* wits; tlicre-

ffvrc licwnrc, ilun't play with edge-tools you'll

l(wlv cut yuur fiiic«r«.

Sir Pel. And y(»ur frote, too ! which is all one r
tiercfore, tn make hII n7V. lunrrv mv diiughur
int, and ihtv quarrel with Iter aflcnvnrds; that
irill be in ihr natuml course of tliin>:a
H'Ai^, Here, 'riioiiias ! where are yuu }

Enter Thomas.

Whit- flere are fine doinp! I atn deccired,
tricked, and cbcaied !

I'hii. I wish you jny, air ; the best tiling could
have bapfieiied tu you ; aiid, lu a faithful servant,
I have done inr best to check you.
Whit. To check iiic !

Tho. You were eiOlopinK full sj>eed, and down

hill, loo; and, ifwc had tiot latd hold of the

bridle, bcine a bud jockey, you would have hiin^

by your horns in the Btirrup, to the (•rcut joy of

ktlJc whole town.

Whit. W bar, have you helped to trick me ?

Th<>. Into huppincM. Vnu have been |V(oJi\li

[ long while, turn alnmi and be wise. lie bos

[cut t Ik woman and his estate : Gi%c them vour

I Dlc<i»in(^ which ifc not worth mtirb, and like live o

^Christian for the future.

Whu. 1 ivill, if J con: Bot T can't look at

Itbcm; I can't Ixnr the sound of tny voice, nor

be sieht of lov own face. Look ye, I am di^

Ireftscd and distracted! and can't come loycl:

yoor

1

o spend

I will be rvcDtidled, if ponnble: hut ikm't Irt
mo see or hrnr from you, it* yoa wAuld have me
forget and forpve yov — I sInU Defer lift «p o^
liend nc^iin !

Wid. I hope, sir Patricfc, that my prererriag
the nephew tu the uiu-Ie will meet with voor
approbation : Tbuugb we lia^e not so m
money, we sliall hare moee love ; one tnia^
Imlf a purse in murriaee, are much better
two muMis and two purse*. I did not ciaiic te
England, nor keep eood cooipanT. till it waa u»
late to get rid of my cnnntry prcjodicea.

Sir Pat. You aru out tj^ niy ltai)d«s l*at : «a^ if
yDU won't imuble me witfi vour afflicttoas, I
ahall sincfrrely rejoice at your fetirity.

litph It would be a great alBsirinral of ■*
prc^nl joT. could E believe that tliis lady sboaU
be assisted in her hnppinc<(ft, or be ^iippona
her afllictions, by any one but ber wwr
hushand.

.*ur Pat. Fine notions arc fine tinp,, hot
estate p^vn evenr tinjc but ideas; and tfaeoi
if you'll nppfllc to ihuse who help yoa to
it — What say you, widow ?

Il'i</. r>y your and their pemnis&kin, I willtcfl
ray mind Tn tliis ^km] company ; and for lev
mv words should want ideas too, I wiD add h
Insh tunc, that may carry off a IhhI roiae Md
bad matter.

SONG.

A widow bewitched with her pouioti,

'IIiuukIi Iri^h, is now quite a»liamett|
To think that ••he's **\ out of fashion,
I'o marry, an<l ilicn to be tamed :

Ti» love tiie dear joy.

That old fu^iiiioncu boy.
Has pot in my breasi with bis quiver;

The Ulind uniiiii he

Struck the (JusA (a mam crt^.
And a huslmnd secures me for evur !

Ye fair ones I hope will eicu»c roe ;

llioti^h vulgnr, pray do not nbusc Bie;

I cnmiot become a fine ladv.

0 love has bewitched Widow Brady.

Ve critics, to murder so willinfc,

Prny st-e all our errors wiili bjindncfc;

E-'or onct- dimiitc yuur roelbod o| killu^
And kill u fond widow with kindaeM.

1 f you look 90 sercre.
In a fit of despair,

A^oiii I u>ll draw foilh mv steel, sirs:
You know I've the art.
To br inScc thnnish your heart,

Ilefurc I can make yuu to feel, sin.

Rri>ther soldurs,! hope yoti'll prolictn^
Nor let (iticl criiic* ilissect me;
To favour mv c:iu«£ Itc hut ready,
A]id ijnitcful yuu'U find \\ idow Braitr.

Gabricic.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

571

Ye leaders of dress and tbe fashions.

Who gallop post-haste to vour ruin,
Whose taste has dei»troyed all your pasHons,
PniT, what do you thiuk of my wooing i
You call it damned low,
Your heads and arms so, [Miadeki them.
So listless, so loose, and so lazy ;
But pray, what can you
That I cannot do i
O fie, my dear craters, be azy !

Ye patriots and courtiers so hearty.
To speech it, and vote for your party ;
For once he both constant and steady,
And vote to support Widow Brady.

To all that I see here before me.

The bottom, the top, and the middle ;
For music we now must implore you,
No weddini* without pipe and liddle.

If all are in tune.

Pray let it be soon ;
My heart in my bosom is prancii^ !

If your hands should unite.

To give us delight,
O that's the best piping and dancing !

Your plaudits to mc are a treasure.

Your smiles are a dower fur a lady ;

O joy to you all in full measure!

So wiahei and prays Widow Brady.

THB

SULTAN;

OB,

A PEEP INTO THE SERAGLIO.

BICKERSTAFF.

MEN,
SoLYHAN, the SuUan,
OsMYN, kteper tfthe seraglio.

DRAMATIS PERSONS

WOMEN.

RoxALAKA, an EnglUh captive.
Scene— Constantinople.

ACT I.

SCENE I. — An apartment in the seraglio; a
throne, in manner of a couck, with a canopy^ on
the front qfuhick tt an escutcheon fixed^ jaith
the Ottoman armi croamtd with feathert ; in
the back scenes the iuUan'i door covered with
a curtain.

Enter Oshyn and Elhira.

Osm. Tell me, what right have 70U to be dis-
contented ?

Elm. When first I came within these walls, I
found myself a slave ; and the thoughts of being
shut up for ever here, terriBed me to death : m;
tears flowed incesbantiy. Solyman was moved
with them, and aolemuly promised to restore me
to my liberty, my parents, and my country.

Osm. And yet, when the sultan agreed to send
you back to Georgia, you did not avail yourself
•f faisgeuerosi^.

Elm, True ; but his munificeDcef and, abon
pll, the tenderness and love lie expressed (oeae
unce, have reconciled me to this place, sad I
vainly thought my clianns could have atticfaed
him to me.

Otm. Why then complain ? You still posws
his heart. Already yuu have been twice hoooiv
ed with the imperial handkerchief.

Elm. Ilis heart ! does not this place contiis 1
hundred beauties, who equally share bis kne^
Tell the sultan I'm d^ermiueff, and ready 10 ac-
cept die first opportunity of rettirnii^ 10 vr
friends and country.

Osm. I shall procure you an answer this morv
ing — But, hark ! the saltan approaches.

lExit Etaiti.

The curtain is drawnt and the Svltak mtfrt,prt-
ceded btf AtutcSf 4'C> -A grand wtarch playti.
SuL Osmyn,

BrcKBBSTArr.]

BUlTISIi DRAMA.

<7S

I

Ojm Ilip humblest of rnnr slaves mrpttrl*.

fliiWM to thr frounii.

Sut. Mt fnend, quit thii vtvie uf Krvitudc; I
am wpiPT of It.

(.'I'M. And ot'lhesenifiliii, too, Mr?

SttL It h even lo — iin>l vet. upon rcfirrtion, I
ouiiint t«H why, milcw rhat, hminc lifvn nccnit-
lomrit to the noi^p iit* crnnpi, anH the buiiurs« of
wur, I knu* n«>r h'w* ro i^Ush pU■aMl^(^s whtch,
thiMigh vBTit'd, ■tpMiir iti«i|)id, (limuf'h the eii!>e
and iraoqiiilliiy wi(h wh'icli they are attained.—
Yuur vuicp uwd tn rharm me.

OsMVK tingt.

Behold yundcr J^fihyr, how liglirlf it Wovrs !
And, copviftu •}'' I'lvcrs, it ne'er m^I;* repfts«.
But flt«» tu iIh- |iiiik, lij thi' lily, thr rose,

Carewiiig «ach (lower of the garden aiid grove.

Th«n still let your pleasure rariety crDwn>
'Moncsi thti <liflercut beauties tlwc rure up and

dunn.
Court rhr charms of the fair, of the btacic, of the

brown,
They're tliv (lowers iliat cmbctliKli the gardeii

of li>ve.

Sul. I have nflrn loW you I iim not touched
vrirh mure carvwoi: inntHiiiies, wIk> are taught tu
love or fear hy mtcrcst.

(hm. Ami vet, V(»ur higlitic^s niiist coi»fess,
yOtir si>rvaiit liu i>n:lected nnlfiiit^ (jcrfrclly tn
content, |iartieul]irly it) ouc object lie pnxrured
yoit.

Sot. Who i« that ?

Oim, lite Circanian beauty— tlw Hiltnna El-
mirn.

5m'. And, truly, she possesKt all the charms
that ran adnrn litr «ei.

Oim. You ihr>U!:ht so oiirc.

Suf. Onre ! I tluub so st*lL

Otm. Indred .'

Hul. Pinititely — why fthnuld ynu doiihtit?

Oim. Your wurd is my liiw. But. sir. iherc is
matter [ iiiu>l D{:i)unint you ^ith : 1 cnniiot inn-
naf;r tbf frraicUo; and, by (lie heard of lleli, (
wntild fntbrr quit thr helm I cnu no Ioniser f;ui<ie.
Thnt Iiiittli>h sliuc, Intcly broui-ht herp, is qtnte
unKoveroable ; the is sure t<> du every thUvi she
M forbid; elie mii^es a joke of oiir thrciils, and
answers mir innHl M>n>nin adumoitiun^ with n
btifih: llc-udcs, i^he ii ni larianre with the rest
of the «v'(Mnen, nnd •vliuws rhero such ajiexanipli',
that I (iHitint limser rule iticm.

Sul. Tliat i« yDitr bu^lticss — i will have thetn
all asrre — Ibiw do vou call her?

■ 0«»-. Since she has been here, we l»ve railed

■ her llotaluna.

I 5b/. Well — you must endeavour to bring Iicr
B lo rcasiin.

H Otm. Wiall the Miltnnn KIroira tlirow herself
V at jrour higlineu** feet, theo i

Sul. Ijet her ^-nmr— Attd, do vwi hear, f><niynt
i;o Iti tbo ti|>:(riiiie<it of lU;it )Vr»ian tlotv vMt j
spokv of y<^*>cnltty, »he tliat Mftgs m «ellf nu4i
send her hither.

Oim. I will, iDOst saliltme saltan.

[Erit OsMTV.

Enlfr GiMia*. Site kaeclt,

SnK I know beforr-ltiuid, that ynu cnmr to op*
hmid Hie — Wc have not mrt so often biielv, as
our muiunl inrliiiulions wnuld bnvr nindr wrrp*
able; Ikii don't nitnbnip that to coldiit-K«. which'
bus been the iinntoidoblc ci)ii«(^|iiriirr ni' Hilinrv j
— tlio business of ibe di\'an hns laLen up wi luuuh (
of my time.

Elm. I don\ presume to complain : for yonr j
iniRi;e is so imprinted on my hcarit tltat yun ar« '
alwnys preMrnt lo my mind.

Sul. [Imftatiiiitlff.] Nay, dear Etmiro, I Iww
not the leatt doubt.

£lnK How does my sorerrien like this riAm ]
which I have put '>n, on nnrpHc to plcni»e Itiin f

Sul. Oh, [r'aspawx.] Klmira, you love lauawJ
— I have scut fur the Pcrviin slave, wbu, 1 aia
told, Mii^s -ui well ; if sliL' answers the descrip-
tion, she will KiTord you cntrrtainmeut.

EIm. I wnnt none, when yoti arc prestart—
your company suffices for eiery thing.

Sul. Vuodcr comes our siiigur.

EntiT ItMxva.

im, [A'acfflta^.] Your stave atlcncbjoorpW*]
sure,

[The SvLTAS mnktMo litm lo thr Eiiniirh$,

Hho Uriitf: tma ftooU, auti btciitm Jil'

mini to fit.

Kim, 1 his is au honour I did not expect.

[Taktrng ker u

ISUKNA $ipg*.

Blest hem, who, in peace and war.
Triumph abkc, ntid mi w otir wonder :

In peace, ib«?b.insDf love you bear;
In viar, the bulls of June's own Utundcr.

[WhiU IsMEw* High SoLYsiAK <a4r-f £ir>

SuL Dcaulil'iil iiiiiiena, mcibouglit thai so«g
did n«it lo well eapms ibc ctfrtts of lore — Ma-
dam, [roELMiaA.J wc Mill hcurbfr aptxa — Iiw
trr lieanl any tiling; v> cbanuine — Iter voice i*
einiiisitc — What do you tbink of bcrf

£/*N. If ^lic Itears nil thin, 'twill m.-itie her ram
I cannot )<rur nil this — I am rcudy to bunC
with i{Kli{{imtioii Olid iut{ier.

tJiUf and KiiU
111 fclave that lO-
temts inc in Ikt fiivour; biH: khall be nn,'C)%w4
amouK the snliuoa't Htteinlauts, ami by tfiat
IDMUS wre shall bare an opportunity of bcarii^
t

«74

BRITISH DRAM^L

rBfCCEBSTATF.

Iier often [TwrmMg,mirtrhes Eutiiii gpme.]

' But whrfc't die nluiu r I Ad noc pcrcrit-e ibe
had left u§ — Folluw her, boMtoa, vnA codexvotM-
tu amtue her.

[Exit IftMCSA.

Emttr OsMVX.

Otm. I ccmr: M tcU jroar lu^weM^ dkere i« no
bemiii^ chat EogtiAh ahve; she mj% aocti tbings,
And does inch thuiKs. cb»t<^—

SuL Why, what i»*t Mic docs?

OiML She (niaua tnc — luv, and mtifiics ^a,
loo.

Sul Pho, pbo!

(>«m. Advictr » Imi upon ber — When I attempt
to pve it, the Talk a tinsing ukd dancing — There
is no ctidutiDg it, it' you do not permit me to cor>
rect her,

Sut. Vou take thc4e Uiincs in too scnmis n

hi — ^he sceiQS, indeed, a ^.iitcular ctiaractcr.

Owm. She ha* the iiBpudeorc nf the deril : but
Ijibt it'jw, 1 Lhrcatciitrd (o mtiiplain in you ^tf Iter,
rabc »aid Uic wuuld coinploia oT iiic — And Utrtv
F'tbe comes.

Enter RoXAiaKA.

ShL How nnw !

Roi. Well, Ueaven be pratscdrBt least here is
Hncthin); Itko o huiURD lifcure. You nrc, sir, 1
suppose, ti\c Hibtituc sultan, wboRc slarc I ha^c
the honour to be : if no, pmy ohli'c tnc ««> fur,
u lu drive from your presence tliat liorricl u«ly
creatorc tliere; tor he shocks m_v aiE;hL — [7i>0*-
MTs.l Do you hear? Go !

Suf. [Gratvl'/A Tliey coiiipliiiii, RoiaUntn, nl*
your irreverent oehavionr; you must learn to
treat the otticcrs of our seraeUo, whom we bnve
set over you, with more defercjice. All, in ihin
place, bnnour their soperiors, and obe^ in si-
lence.

Rot. Tn !:ilenre I — and obey ! is thi« a sample
of ynur Turkish ^»IIuiitry.' — S'ou must be vastly
luved indeed, if you address Homcn in timisiraia,

Ski. Consider you nrc not now iu your own
cotmlry.

Rot. So, indeed ; you make me feci the dif-
fcrcnrc severely— —There, rcJcns ease, content,
and Iit*eny; every citrT^n is himself a king, where
the kinjt '» himself a citiirn-

.Vh/. Ilare a humour more K^nUc and pliable ;
I advise you to alter vour hehmiour lor very
good reasons : and it t^ for your go«id : there arc
vrv ri^oruus laws in the seraglio for such as are
refractory.

Hiir. llpon roy word, jon bare made a very
delicate speech, und 1 admire tlie gnvity with
which it WAS uttered.

Silt. Iloxalniia, 1 am serious.

Ovn, What diK-5 your hi];hiiCES ihiuk now?
Did I tell you tbc Cfutli?

Ror. Oh, whiifpcniift — ^VTfaac b it tAmi mmmt
ATS?— that wbat-do-yov-caU kv. tl^t pmUtv-
nodiinc strnplnbiom mumai, wW fulloiw m Gb
sheep here, and is Cor ever wfrtiit as wtk b
fn^chtfol clarTo; erei, as if be waM detmras—
Is iJus the aao6a»i<te of y<mr fkemaufts — ike
euvdiatt of onr daMin .'—I tmatt tto bi* ibi
jartioB to confess, that if yoa give km Mwcy far
malkaoc binMlf hated. be'oenaiBljr docs aoi mil
his wBces. We can't Mcp oae step bat tie Ha-
ter OS ; by aod by, J sufiproae, he wdl «0^ «t
air, and Mcaoure licbt to us ; be wtM'i let m nft
io the ganfetn, lr«>i it should raiD moi o^oa m;
and. if it did, 'tis a blesaii^ we've be^ tan| <h»
inp for.

(hm. Tbere ooi* ! don't ibe go on at a Iv
rate?

Itor. Dont miod that ouly cre«tsre. but itfea
to mc. — If you follow my ojiiasd, 1 shall nsk
ynu an accotaplnhed pnooe — 1 wigji to nake job
bciored— Let your wmAam-imM^ bctftkeadom
— let the doors uf the seraf;iio be tfarapws opia
let inclimitiaa alone keep jour wofMCD wkhiaii;
and. m»u-ad of lluit ugly, odatMls creaKun tbtn,
send a liaadsome lOHit jovng ofioer to as cmy
morning ; one that will creaC u like bwlies uri
luy out llie pleai^ure of the day.

[Hhifeuif a tprakiHff,Soi.tigAS mdmirttiir.
si/. [ri»(ls»iYs,] Did yoa ever see so cxia»
sive a countenance.— {ToRoKALAAs.] Utv^joi
any more to sav f

Rox. YeSf sir, ilus — To desire too will ast
miod him, bflt atleod to me — Uca were not ban
to adri-ip — the thing is eipressiy ilic CTJOtrary—
We women have ccrtaintr ten thoosaod liaii
more sense — Meu. indeed 1 — Men were bars Cor
no other purpose utxJer beaveji, Uit to
and he, who succeeds best, perfecUjr
end of his creation — Now, sir, farewclL Ifl
you profit by my first lesson. I amy, pcibna, h
tfrmpu-d to give yoa another. [£h(.

Otni. Did you ever hear tbc like^ air s — mri^
solence is tiot to be borne.
SuJ. I think it amu^iiif;.
Oim. I shuJI certainly lose all my Mitbarity ia
the seraelio, if she is nut corrected.

Sul. Ti> a girl — a ftyA of n discnsitiaot ibat
chasttsement would make worse — Gu sflir htii
Osmyn ; bid bcr come b»ck and driak abate
with me.

Opn. Slicrbct witli you ! sirP
SiiL I have mid it —

[OtxM om Ike Urmu, l^effifi

OSMTV

«»"^

AH! Ali! Ati! AU!

Front tlte tlippnnt Kn^tsh da*e

Ilim, ouf nation'^ ^lurj, save ;

If thus he storms and rat'cs for Utt,

Soon he will adore her.
Laws, customs proplict, emperor.

Will stok dowa all bcfoix hor. [EM.

BlCKEBSTAPF.]

BRIT[SH DRAMA.

575

i

Well, for my life, 1 can't fct the better of my
nstonishmeiit at hmrins a slme t&lli in so cxrra*
ordinary « manner — \,Smohri.] — And the niurr
I ihiiik nf it, my aitoniithiiicnt is the greater —
She's Dot liatKfAoiuc. thnt is, what is railed u
beauty; yet hrr little mine, ci>cLed iti tlir nir,
her Uuehins eves, and tl>e uIhv of her feftture^.
h*ve an rlfoct ikJtoccilicr — Eliniru hns sometlunx
■K>re M»ft and morn mnje^tir — vft, methinks *
have a mind to Mft llunalana'tt rharacter; mcrc
curi'isirv, nitd itothinfc elftr — It is ihc fuiit tiiiM.-
we \iavf seen in i^is pincc a spirit of caprice and
ilideiM-ndencc — 1*11 :rv, at leu-it, wWm she'il sny
lo om: fartlicr — Tlierc tsiii be uo barm to divert
myself with ber extrmvagaiice.

Re-rater Osuvjt.

Oim. T have delirercd your meaBa^.

Sul, Delircred ray rocsugo ! Where's Rnxa-
lana?

Oim. In l>er chamber, where she ha» locked
benclf III.

Su/. No matter fur her beJng in ber clioinber
^What did ».he sny ?

Otm. Trea-sure of Li^ht, said I — thronj^h the
ley-holo— I come from the Sublime Stiltan lo
|[ia» the dnftt beneath your feel, mid <lesire y«iu
will come and drink sIiliIk'I with him. £»lic an-
swered throimh the key-hole. Go tell your master,
I have DO dust on my feel, and I diHi't like shcr-
i>el.

SuL Tn effect, Oimyn, the fault is yourV—
ytm ttHik voiir time ill, a^ you mminimlv dn —
Vnu •tlimtld have wailed Hf»mc time— dun*t you
owe her re«|>cct ?

Oim. And uHer this, would you hare her
oome acain i

Sut. Fertin|M I would.

(hm. ^hftll I fetch the sitltann PJmirn, too?

S"/. What's the meaniiif; of this Osmyn P T
tcjl you once mure, gu and bnne mr Ituxnlann.

[Cnrtaia MOtri

OsR. Who it it that lucidlefr witli the ^rcat
curtail) ?

Sal. Who is it lifts thnt purtnl there f

JJor. [Cominf from hehimij 'lis I.

SmL You I and how dare you take that libera
tff

Otm. Ay, how dare you ?— Don't tou know
^ps death for any to rnter there but utc sultan,
witltout brinf; cottdueted f

Sat. Come, come; site's not acquntnted with
dw cnstcim^ of the semf^tiu; mi let It pni*. Ki*it-
adana, I IK'S your pardon — 1 uin afmid he lias

I disturbed you now.
Rot. Oh, it is only what I cxperK-d — \'ou
Turi> arc nut rc<;l;oned very jftlin.' — In my coun-
try, a i^tillHnt waits ii(K)n a lady ; but the custom
ia quite d;lierent here. 1 lind
[.St'lT*^ nftfrs her M« pi/w, the itritcn
it ttitun.]
What, do yuu tliink { «Doke i

ShL IIow's this! Docs vour insolence » so
far?

Otm. What do you oominand, sir 1

SuL Sdcnce !

Rot. What ! aogry before ■ iratnaD ? I'm
quite ashamed nf you.

Sui This is ii'it to be sufRted — and yei, there's
^•miethin^ s'l foolish in it too— Coaic hither,
tl<»x;iInnB, 1 wiint to »penk to you,

ktir. No, I ittank you; I am rery well where
I nin.

Sui. Telj roe then, i« it in this lif;ht manner
>*nioen hchnve in l-Uicli'nd ?

RtTT. I'rc'tty near it.

Sul. And suijpose I should for once forget
your national vivacity, wotild it make you m<tT«
cautiuun fur the future i—Comc, give loe yintr
hand ; and you may imagine I have foqjpt all
you have said to me.

Ror. S.1 much the worw for you. I told yon
a great many good thiitgs; I see my fratikiK-M it
di-ngrceabte : but you mit^t ^ri>w uhhI in it.
Duii't you think yourself very happy to lind «
friend in a iilaver one tbnt will teach you how
to love, too; for 'tis in my cmnitry love ia to its
clement. It is there all life and tendcnicas, be-
cini^o It is free ; and yet, rf en tl»ere, a liusbwMl
beUxved t» next to a prodiey. If it be then so
dirticiilt to love a hu»l>a[id, is Imt must it be U> '
love a innster? I am yonr fmnd; I tell ynq
triidi : nnd du vnu know why yim dislike to tieur
it ? bea\use it i!< a laD:;u8t:e your ears are unnc*
ritKtomed tti — Hut I dmt't mind tliat ; I sliall
make you well nrrjuainted nidi it — Il^npy wuiild
it be f'tr every prince, had ihcy a friei'id near
tlieru to tell them the truth !

SuL But you must treat ine willi respect.

Ror. I trrnlyou with ro^icct! that would b^
wiine still.

SuL Indeed !

Ror, Oh, your imtioiu arc horrid ! — I shall cor-
rect you.

SuL Correct mc ! In what, pray ?

Rai. In whnt concerns you,

SitL She is tbe simneest mortal, sure ! — But
let's have no more of ihi».

Rar. Nay, llmt^h you don't take my lr<L«OM
at paticnily us I could uikh, I liope you arc not
dicplcascd with roe t 1 should be sorry to offend
you.

SuL Yon mav easily avoid it then.

RuTt It will be notliiiiK in lime. i

StiL Why, won't you cfaisidcr who I am, and
wlio you lire f

Hot. W liu I am, and w)in vnu are ! Yes *ir, 1
do consider vcrv well, ihtil ymi nrv tin- (.i-nnd Sul- j
(an; I nni ymir ib»e; hut 1 am nls«i a frrcbum
woman, ppinilcr of thnt ihun oil the pouip and
spleodtMir eastern monnrclis can bc»tow.

Sui. ,\s far as I ran pt-rrrive, then, you would |
be very clad to get away from me?

Jtor. Yflo never were tnurc right in your lif*.

BRITISH DKAMA.

[BiccKssTAry.

Sul. "WcW, bnt if [ endcQTour tn render thr
aenKli» n^rreiibte [o yoxi — il* 1 ftinilv *<> mskr
jt>Q nappv. mifclil vuu uut, in your turn, U^ lo
deserve my favuur?

Hnr. No.

5u/. Dn you speak that uoccrclyf

Jtur, As I think it.

SuL Aud yet there is Bomething that whispen
mt^ —

Jtor. Dgo't believe it -l tell jog, it deceives

JWJ.

5«/. And mu*t I iifiver e\f>ix:t

RitT. Xcrcr — caprtcu ond faDcy de«dc all.

Sul. Ill caprice anJ faiicv, ilie(»t I rest mv
boptrs; aotl, in the mean unH?, you alndl »ip wilii
inc.

£ar. No— I beg to be excused— I'd ntber

SnL Whv sn? 'li» ftn honniir tlial yau nuj^lit —

Hai. An hunour llint I ouglit ! bir, you ou);lii
%tt lay nstde thc«c- hutiiiliulin}; phrases; for, while
iIh^ tencU us vour •uprrtiir preaincu, they rob

you of the pleusure uf hitti|{ agreeable

Bui, to be ill good humour, «ir, I ought not to
accept your propusnU; for 1 know- that fiupprm
Wtc tend tu eurluio tliingfe — that 1 can't — iu-
4ee<j, ftir.

Sul. Well) as you pieitse.

hot. 'Vhal \i very well uid ; you are tny pupil,
yon know, an<l ■tiitiild give up eiery point tu iiic;
' Mid. biiicc that i» ilir ca>e, iiuteod ol my suppiog
irith you, you shall tlitie witli nie.

iiaL Willi all my heart— be it it so— Osmyn!

Enter Oswts.

5b/. Oaniya— ^

J2or. Osraiyo, I soy. hear my directions! — You

ktM>w I am to ■ipcol Go to (be clerk of the

kitchni, nod desire liiin to provide a handsome
^cnti-dainmcnt in iny apartmcut, a» the kullan
dines with me.

0«w. Old voor faigbnna onJcr

SuJ. Wtat'do you stand for? Dn m Aehk
you. [Kiit (>mT!i. ioaof

Kar. Arc tbrrr nut smnc ffnmlr> bcre. tb>
Htjulfl entiTcn tlie couvcraatkiii * I'ttr rT:iTnf4r, itc
beautiful sulCKn Elmtni, that acmu(^t''io|l»-
ktMirite you love id well ; her coiupant ma* W
aKrveahtc; aod tlir Peniao slave, l<anca% aH
1 ant told, uogi eochaniingly^ attd «baai j
liive a liitJe.

Sni. Ye»— »wi

Kox. I ondrratand you you will bav* I

&tt. It is not oeccsBry — well be alone.
Hot. .\lonc — a tete-m-^tie would be a (KM
pIcnMire. to be sure ! — Ob oo !
Sui. 1 promise you I tnpect it.

Enttr OsMYX.

Otm. Madam, your orders are obeyed,

HhI. Go to F.lmim's apartmeni, aod cellbil
^liall sec ber this eieoiog. Tbi» evcoia^ da jva
hear F

Rur. I don't like ikat whispcnng llwii
Wiiut's that you any ? you koow I have BofeiyM
of that ugly tridt.

Sn(. Xtithiuft— ni come lo her — ^

kiix. Slay, 1 say I I liare aome hiuif viA
you.

Sul. Slay ! — Cerlatnly diere never *m un
thing half so pleaant as ihia creatufe. [£nt

Ror, Go, Onnyn, m the apartmcUs of tfar
^iilinna FJmim, and In the chamber of the dw
Umi-na, and tell them to cnmc and dine witk iki
AuUaii. If yuu iit^ect ob«yin|t my orden, yam
head shall na^wer for it. And, do you hear'
don't let lliem know yoa caose from tat mA
tliik iflvitatiuu. Take care oi" YOur bead.

[£iaiiL

ACT II.

SCENE t—Banquri, SfC,

Enter Roxalawi.

Ror. Ay, let me alone; now I have ):ot iIh^

T<ia» in my own htinds iltcre ^hnll mkhi he a re-

I fnmialton in tliis plarc, 1 vsnrrant. Ilry-day !

fcwt'iil )unc wf pot lii-rt? Cushions! what, do

|bi-y iliink u< arc tu'tag. to prayers^ Let me die,

Ihitt I Whtvc il 15 their diinicr. Whnt, do thry

l^fun lo iniike uie tit vjiiat liU; ii UiUikjiu uimI

llcnr my mcni »Mih my liiwrrs? — lake auay nil

vtMr^ tnnn|>ery. and let u& liine luhlcb nud thair»,

^liivc.4 ami forks nod di>-hr.<i aud pinirs like

' ChriMiaii*. And, d've hciir, Ic*l ihc U-st part of

lI)L> cnlLTtaiimieni diouUl be unnling, gel us some

vnae.— [^fulei lift wp their kmndL.}— Han m
us, « hnt n vrondcr ! I tell you, wioe nasi he W.
If tlicre is Dniie here, fto to llie nuAi; be <*■
eood IViluw, aod hiu >intic good wioc, I mtta^
liini : let Hic church alone lu mkc cai*ard>»
i^Ucs; they are too good judjtes of laari aU
ihiu^% nni to be pmvidcd i»ith ibna. [Hay
are rtrntn-ftf, and /sfr/r, A-r. Irimfikt da.] i%
here comes »ome of aiy gMMt* 111 hide.

EMtrr F.LUIIIA amd Osava.

Elm, Il in iin|KMnihIe A prelly lhinf^ trid^

iht: ill, to (ii<puie tlie sultatts bean UiiJi nx *
Otm. 1 lell yuu, hvr «sccadag)cv over bm a

BlCKEltSTAFF.^

I

i

suet), tlint it r«<]utrcs tlic {;t«atcst art and caution
to coutitcrart it.

Kim. Well, t>smyn, bt my frienfl: nnd here,
take this liK'krt, Ownyn : and hv 5urc *poak ill
of all roy rivals, and nlj ihc good you pos*ihlj rau
of me.

RoxALAXA appran.

Ont. DpRih and hell ! we are pcrcerrpd.

[Asidr, end exit.

Xoi. Take this lorkct, Otmyn, and he sure
you speak ill of nil nir rivnk lla^ Ita, ha !

Elm. Insipid plenwntrr! Koow this however,
nmdaiQ, I was the fmt po»«eMor of tlw Miltan'i
facart ; and, as such, will niuiiiluiii my ng)it», lUid
employ my power to keep it.

Jtox. B^ a luckct ? llultoa ! who waits there ?

Enter (Hmvs.

Go tell the srand lignior to come here.

Orm. I will, rondam — I'll be your friend, you
inar dep-nd on me. [Asittr.

Ros. iia. [Krit 0.<iUYN.l rJmira, I dim't in-
tend tn dispute the sultan's Itcart with you ; and,
to prove it, you mnrt know, that it wn^ I invited
TOU to dinu with htm hrre : tliercforc, make the
best iKe vou can of the opportunity,

Elut. U it possible !

Enter Sultav on one tidei Isueka hw/Osmtx
on tkf other,

Ror. Slaves, brinp the dinner.

Stti. What do I see ? I^nienn and F.lmira too !

Ror. What is the mnucr, sir?

Sut. I thought yoo would have been alone.

Ror. Nut when ein^ compnnv '\t> tu be had. —
Come, 4«|uie the Indies. [He'bous.] A little
lower. [S^ Hoop* hit head.] There ivuv — Ladies,
my Ktie«t ts a httic awkward; but he'll improve.

£/m. Indeed, RoTolana, you pu great lengtlis.

Sut lAt \wv alni>c ; she knon-s it diverts nie.

Rax. Well, let's be trntrd 1 am to du the

hoiioon.

Stl. But wlint is all this f I never saw atiy
I^Uuug like it before,
^v" Jmt. Where should you?— CoittC' ■

^r Enter Cmrttr^ with ■ hag hnife,

^ Who i« ihnt * what does thar horrid fellow want?

Otm. It IB the gnuid ciirvrr.

Ror. TIjc {;ntnd carrer ! I thoa{;ht be came
lo cut off our heads — Pray, Mr fsirver, be so
good rts to carve yourself nwav. (."oiue, Ismcun,
'Cnt up that, and'hclp the sultan. The Indies of
my country alwuvs carve.

Sot. Why. I ihink this custom is much better
than ntm.-~[Ta Ihc Varver.] Wc aboil bare no
occasion for you.

VvL. IIL

Ror. Come, sotnc wine.

Suf. Wine !

Rar. Dtuner is nothing without wine. Bnn
it hen-, (Jsiuvo.

Ona. Must I touch the horrible potion!'
[Ttffrn tkr botllr betieern the tkirtt of Am niAc]
There it i«,

Kor. Well, Ownyn, as a reward for votir ser-
vices, run shall have the tirtt of tlic Uitile.
Here, drink.

Otiif. I drink the hclltrfi bevcfaee ! 1, who am
a true lieltever, a ripd .Mii««ulm4n f

Hor. [T(» (Ar SfLtix.] Sir, he disobeys tne.

ShI. Lirink, as you are nnlcred.

Oiiw. 1 niust itliey, and tuMe the horrible li*
qunr — Oh ! Mahomet, sliut tlty eyes — *l'is doofl
— I Imve obeyed.

Roi. Istueno, hold your pluss there. — Elmira,
fill vour* and the NultaVs Kla^s.

SuL Nay, pmy disfx-iwe «iih me.

Ror. Di'tpeitae with you. sir! ^«hy should we
dispense witli you i Uli, I understand you; pcr-
liaps YOU don't diiiw tlwnc eenttcinen should aeo j

you — I will «ocm turn them nnT. Unitleittci^ J

you inny go; we shall have no occasiou lor you, i
I brlreve. Cnme, Lidies, talk a little; if yoa
don't t^tk, yira must sing. Isincna, oblige u>
with a bon^.

IsvEva tingi.

In vain of tlteir wisdom superior,
The meu proodly make such a ftm ;

Tbounh our tjileni*. forsofHh, are iufcriaTf
The bonders arc Knvemed by us.

Peer or peasant, 'tis the some-.

They're our masters but In lume;

Ixt them say w)uttr*r!r they will.

Woman, wonuu tulua tliein still.

A I courts ttrho would setdc fnr protnotio^

To us his pt:tJlion iliuuld hrin^ :
The slate puppets arc at our devotino,

Aud tuofc just us we pull llie string.
Favourites rise, or lumhle down,
A^ we deiim lo ^mile or frown ;
I«t men say wbatc'er they will.
Woman, woman, rtiles tliem stilL

Th')u;:h aanenibled in grave cnnvocudaiii
Men wraittfle on nuitters of slate :

Our sex on liie state of th« nation.
A9 wfcll A* tlicmnelves, could debate.

We let thorn talk, hut 'tis most rertaia

That wc decide behind ilie curtain j

Ixt them viy wlmie'er tltey will,

Womun, woman, rules tbetn still.

Ror. Come, i-ir, I insist opoo yoof drinkine.
S»l. I mu«cdo as yon bid inc. [Drinkg,

Rxi: Tbut's clever f
ShL [JiiJc] Uuw cxtmordtnary is the coo-

40

57S

BRITISH DKAMA.

[BlCKBVSTftf

doct of (hit cwattire, endeavoun(i|E thus to clit-
plajf 1 1* iccomplbhmtnt* of her rivals ! bu(, id
«v*i7 tlun^ the U niv superior. I aui rest no
longer.

[Gitet the hnndhfrchirf' to Ri»AiA>A.

Rox, To me ! Oh, nu — Ituicna, 'ti» yaiir» ; —
the Mjllaa eIv es it u& a reward for tlic pleiuurc
you liave given him with your charming song.

\Givtt the kandkerchiri' tf* Isvex*.

Elm, Oh! ' [Faintt.

ShI. \SnatchiHg the handkerchief J'rom h-ur.-
KA^girrr it to Elhiba.j Elmira! Via youra- ■ ■
look u|>t FJioira !

TJm. Oh, sir ! {Jtecmtring.

Sul. [To RoxAi.AX«.] Tor tou. out of my
Nsht, muitai iiMja 1 I^l her be tSKen awav ioiTne-
diXrly, ami degraded to the raaL of the loweu
slnve. [£W/ Ka\k\.t.^k,guarded?i But she thall
be puiiitihed, niaduiu, and jron suucicnil}' revcn-

fccd

Elm. I do Dot wish it; io your love all my de-
sires are accomplished.

SuL If »r chusiiRT hrr, it mutt be severely. —
Go, order bcr t'> be broiri>lit hither.

Elm. \Vl>ai is vour tle»igi», sir?

Stil. I wditid, Wff'rc her face, repair the in-
justice I WDA going to do vuu ; excite lier euv-y;
and, rendcriiit; her punishment complete, leave
her in eveHnatngjcalmisy.

Ebn. I liCMvrh y<Hi ihink no more of her,

SuL Pardon lue. 1 think differently. Let her
be broR^ht hither, I sny !

(hm. Sir, they have not had time to put on
her itlnve's habit jet.

Sul. No matter — fitch ber osslie is; and now,
Elmira, let ourendeannents be redoubled id ber
•ighr.

Efm. le cliat nece»uirv, Mr?

Sui. Oh, it will gall Ikt— I know it will gall
her. We feel our iitiiftirtunes with tenfold an-
guish, when we compare what mh are with whut
we might hnve been.

F.lm. It will have no effect! she is a gidd}
creature — her gaiety is her all.

Sul. No, no, tlio couti-nry ; that's the thing
that strikes me in Roxalana's chnractcr,-- ~-
Tlirough what you will cnll her frivolous (tnietv,
candour and good senko shiiui so appnrent

Eim. There is au end on't— if vou jusitfr Iwr.

\_PtOHdlit.
Sat. I justify her! far frum it; and von •■IihII
presently be cuuvioccd I mean tu miikc her feel
the utmost rigour of my resentment.

Enter Roxalasa.

Here she comes — slie's in aHliction; and lier
lef^ hand, there, er>deaTm)r« tu hide a huniiliiitcd
rotiutamncc. [To Uoxai.a?!*.] Apprcncb — Kl-
mira .' hnve you detcrniiotd huw vuu will dispose
of her ?

Mtm. I shall not add to what she sulTers.

Sul. I low Uiat Hntiment rhann« me \ ladtcd,
FJinira, I blii^i lu think that m> unnoilln KBO^
ject should bare been able I'ur a mn^wt tmrnf
phse me to a degree, ever to mmkc
your superior merit; but I am dow
e\er :md ever.

Rox. Ha. ha, ha !

Svl. Death and hell ! she tou^M !

Hifr. Ha, lio, ha ! Tts involuntanr, I uan
vou ; therefore, pr«y fotG»ve me : I bcf jm
pardon.

SuL Tta impudence beyond bewing ! hk I
want lo kiujH the meaning of all cJits?

Rox. The meaning is plain, aiul anj Indv
may see with half an eye you don't lot'cCta^
ra.

Svl. Whom do I love, then?

J(or. Mc.

SuL You are the object of my nnper.

liifj. That don't sigtiifv; lore aod aiifffl^
ten eo together ; I am tKe ohjoct of jtmt ta-
Rcr, because I treat you v*ilh the sinaentf ti i
friend: but, with jiiiir liijiin ' [ uiuiuiiril. 1
shall take mjrself B«niy this muuicnt for cm.

SuL Go, then, anid prelcr tnfiuny to gt»
deur !

Aor. I will iitttuntly get out of your uibm
presenre. {Ca^

Sul. No, yr>u shan't ffi \ EJmira, do tou *il>
draw. [EiU Kiuiat.J Were I lo awe m$u
mv ^^a^^;'orrs, 1 bhouM make you (rcMhe»a(h
of my di--|)leasnre; but I fngLtue earuacs ^v ,t<%
iJknt ynu scorn to moke for youTsclf— ^ImL <t»
pi&e my favours, infult tny condc^ceinjua ' i'*^
vou can't be ^eoiible of your own foU> ! IV
cced ! au oil 1 conlioue to curage yuor usa aU-
cent nin^er.

Roj. You are my muter, ic is OTe! k"
could the robber, tW aoUl me lo m far ■
ttkou^and scquititv tninsfcr my mind and ati*-
uaiioits lu yuu, mIoue; with my person? Na* at*
let It never be said that the great .^lvD)ttn,~^
\y triuinphcd orer ihc pcr^^u of the slate,
luiud hv could uut subdue.

Sul TcU me who you arc? wbaifpeof*^
inroi.si'.lrnt beinc, at once so triAin^ snd rv^
tuUv, that you seduce my heart, whiW yun ^
rae mv diilv ?

R<f.r. I am nothing but a poor ^vc, *b '
your frirnd.

•S'»/. He still my friend, my mialieA ' f« ^
therm I have known only flattercrx 1 hnt if
%ute nivself to you, and the whole ttupn ol
[jay you himiiige.

liux. But, pray, tell mc, then, by »k« f
am I to p»**rn here ?

Sul. hy whut title ? I dm/t underuanil ««»"
Come, come, no more of this aficctcd t>ni*
«nd dt»semblin". 1 vcc, I kiiww %ou luf» W-

Rus. As Sjlyman I do» but not as tuf"*
or of tlie Turks— nor will 1 evtr oookM K **

BiCKERSTAPF.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

sr9

cend hU bed at night, at nliose feet I must fall
in the muming.

Sul. If it depended upon me* Roxalnoa, I
swvar by our ho\y prtiphrt, that I shuuld be hap-
pjr in cnlling vou my qiivcn.

Rot. That's n poor excuse. Had tlie man 1
loTeH hut a cnttage, I would glnHly pnrlakp it
with him ; would sooth his rrxations. luiri soften
hi* cnr* 5 : but, were hr the mn«er of a throne, I
fJuHihl expect tu shiirc it with him, or lir has no
lo»*e for mc.

SkL Or, if ]rou will wait, perhaps dme will
bring it about.

Jw. Wiiit, indeed! No, nr! Your wife, or

humble servaDt My rcsoluiion is fixed-- —

lix yours,

SuL But an emperor of tli«^ Turks— — -
Sor, Mar ■(» ai he plca>es, end thoutd br
despotic fooaetimes oo tbe side of reason nrd
virtue.

Sul. TTien, there is our law-
Ror. Wbicli is moDstroud and absurd.
SuL Ttie mufti, the vixirs and thea^;as^^
Rar. Are your staves — Set tliuu a good cx-
mnple.

Sul. Besides wluit would the people say ?
Rot. The people ! are tlicy u> govern jnu f —
Xfak« th« people happy, nnrf ihev will not pre-
vent your being «*>. They would t>e pleasMi to
tec you raise to the lliroitc one ihot you lore,
and would love you, and be beloved hv vnur peo-
ple. .Should she interpose in hehalt of the uii-
fortuDatc, relieve the digressed by Iter muni*
ficrnce, and diHubc happiness through tho pa*
Jace. she would be admired — she would )«.* ado-
red— ^le would be like the queen of the country
from wlicDCc I came.

bSut, li is enough — mv scruples are at an end

I

nin, rnni«h hefon> the liKhti of your superior rea-
son— My love is no louger a foible — you art
wurlliy of empire.

Enter OsMYX.

Otm. Moat sublime aultan ! the Miltana Fi<
mim f^laim^ vour promise for liberty to rteinrt.

Roj. Ih that tlic ciue } Let, then, the lirst
initance of my exallatiuu he to eivr her liber-
ty—let Uk gates of the seraglio be thrown
open.

Sul. And as for r.ltuim, »he shall go in s
manner suitable to her rank.

[Ejit 0>MYV.

OSMTK rttmrnt.

Otm. Sir, t)ie dwarfs aitid bo»tangis yourhigb-
nvfs hn<l ordered, atlcii'l-

Sut. Let tbem come itt— lliis day is detuted
In festivity; aild you, who announce luy Hcrree,
proclaim to the world, tltnt ihe sultana knvatuna
reigns the unrivnllcd partnrr of our diadecn.

ihm. There's an end of inv nflicc Who

would have thouf^ht, that a liltlr ctjoked-up noi
would have overturned Uie cuitoui* of a migh^^
cmjpiml

SuL Xow, my Rjixalana, let the world ob*«m^
by thy exaltation, tlic wonderful dispcraatioa of
Providence, which evinces, that

T1:e liberal mind, bv no diftttnctiun bound*
Throuf;h Nature's gfau loukx all tlic worid a^

mund;
Would all that's t>eautiful toother jnm.
And tiad perfection in a mind lilc thine.

[£wiiMf owuier.

BON TON;

Ol,

HIGH UFE ABOVE STAIRS.

BT

CJRRICK.

DRAMATIS PEJISOXT.

if EX.
Irf4t» MisiKix, « modern man offathiim.
S: t Jc<fl> Tx'i 1 1 Y, (// r(i/('J to old timet.
iVtokCL TlvT, prettndiug lore to MissTiitlt.

{?***"*•{ irrr««(» tn I»RO Mimkin'.
1>«VT, tifrant to Sia Jousi Tkotlly.

WOMEN.

f.Aiir MiMKis, ai/r toLoED MixiKin.
Ml^!l Tiiii'F, miax foSift John TsoTLEr.
Oyui', maid to L&dt Misilin.

£c<ne — London,

ACT L

SCENE I,

Enter hAitj MiMKiN and Mi»TiTTi-p.

Idtdif Min. It is not, my dear, tliat I Ibvc the
least regard Tur my lurd, I had no love for him,
befon: I married him ; and you know, matrimony
11 no hrccdcr of atlcction ; but it hurts my pride,
that he bhould neglect roe, and run after other
Vomen.

Afiu 71/. Ila, ha, ha ! how can you be so hy-
pocritical, lady Minikin, ns to pretend to uncasi-
m at audi trifles? but pray, have you made any
4iico*eriei of mv lord's ^llantry i

Mm. New discoveries ! why, I saw him
■Mterday morning in a hackney-conch,
in in ■ pink cardinal ; you shall abso-
m TOura, Tittup, for 1 sball nerer bear
0 of Cfait colour again.

Tit. Sure Uie docs not suspect me:
And witerc was your ladyship, praj,

[Aude.]

when yuu saw him ?

I^iiy Min, Taking the air with colonel Tivy
in his vis a vis.

Mitt Tit. But, my dear lady Minikin, howna
you be so angry, that mv lord was hurting vour
pridr, as vou call it, in the hackney-coach, wbea
you had fiim so much in your power, in the to*
u-vii *

Ladjf Jt/iR. What, with my lord's friend, ami
my friend's lover ! [Takct her by the kand.\ 0
fy, Tittup !

Mitt Tit. Pooh, pooh, lo^'c and fricndi^hip ue
very fmc names, to be sure ; but they arc mpra
vi*iiting acrjuniutanccs ; we know tht>ir names, in-
df^d, talk of them sometimes And let tlicm knock
at our duorii, but wc never let them in, you know.
I Looking roguishly at htr.

Garbick.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

581

►

I

I

Vady Mitt. I vow. Tittup, yoa arc ettrentclv
polite.

Mitt Tit. I am extivnicljr indifiereDt in these
aGhirs, thanlu ti> my tHluciUtoii. Wc mutt tiinr-
ry, voii know, becauM otliur people uf fu^iiui)
marry; but I sUould Uiiiik. very luciuily n|* my-
self, U', otter I was uiarnoJ, t should feel the
least conrrrn at all nIxKit mv husbaiict.

Lady Min. I bale tu pniiic myxK; and vet I
tuay, with tiuth, aver, that no wuitiaa ot' quality
ever bad, can have, or will hare, oo coiisuniuwtc
• contempt ftir her lord, as 1 lutve for niv most
honourable and puissant eurl ot' Mitiikiii, vi^cuuut
Pcrriwirilile, niid baron Titmouse — Ilii, ha, ha !

Miu fti. But, is it not ^tran^e, lady Minikin,
that merely his beiitg your buthaor) should create
such indifferrnref for certairdy, in every other
ejr, his lordship has prnt HccuniplislnncotA.

iMdy Attn. Accouiplishiucntfe ! thy head is
certainly turned ; if you know any of thcin. pray
let's haro thmn; they arc a uovclty, and will
wnuw mo.

MiU T^t. Imprimis, ho is a man of quality.

LaJif Milt. VVIiich, to Vkj fturr, includes all
the cnixliiial virtues — jHMir girl ! — po on !

JI/iM T't. lie is a very huinUuiue mau.

JjiUi/ Mitt. He has a very bad constitution.

Mut Til, lie iuu wit.

Lady Mm. He is a lord, and a little goes a
fpent way.

Mitt Tit. lie haft great good nalare,

Xu</v Mt'i. No uonder — he's a fooL

Jl/Mf Tit. And then his fortune, you'll allow —

Lttdy Mm. Was a ^rcat one — but ho gumcs,
■odfir fairly, lie's undone; if not, he dc^crveft lo
be hanycil — and m, exit my lurd Miuikin. And
now, kt yuur«iw uncle, and inyKOiM] ojusin, rir
John I'rotlcy, bnriuiet, enter ; where is he, pniy ?

Mi»s Tit. In liiH nun rutun, I MppOfic, read'
ing pamphlets and ncwftpapcrs o^^tut the cnot^
milics of the times. If he Mays here » week
longi-T, nnin itliMnmling my (rt[»ectJiliont from
him, I klialt certainty ailVoot him.

Lady .Miu. I am a f;rcat favourite; but it is
imivw-ih!c iiMicli lont;er to act up tu his very
ri^liti-i<>j& i'le»s of things. Ua't it pU a»atU to lieur
bnn abuse every body, luid every thinju «nd yet
always tini^hing with a * You'll excuse uie, cuu-
wm V llii. Iia, Im !

ASiit Til. W'htt do you think the Gnth said to
ne vcjttfdftv ? one of the knots of his lyc Knnj;-
ingdunn bii Ivfi shmildrr, and hin friiicvd craviir
nicely twitln'l down his hrca-st, and thrust ihrouKli
hia e->i>l buti.jn-hole, which looked exactly like
my little liarliDt's lumd in his gold collar —

■ 'Niece Tittup,' cries he, drnwing himself up,

■ ' I pniie»t ngaiiist this tnnnrter of cooduciin^
I * yourxlf both at home and al>roa<l.' — ' Wlua
H 'are your ubjcctioiu, sirjohiir answcreil I, a
H little pertly — ' \'anousand iniunfold,' replied he;

■ ' I hare iio time to coumeraic (lariicuhirs now,
B ' but 1 will veiitura to pru|i]H;cy, if you ko«p

* mhiriitig roudd the Tottex uf pantheon*, o|iera%

' festinos, coteries, iiuiM|ucr«des and all the do- 1
' vihtdr^ ill (hit town, your head will l>c giddy,
' duwn yuu will fall, lo»e the nmnc 'if TAirretia, i
' and he i-allcd iiotliinK but Tittup ^rer nftcf'^

* Y'Hi'll ekctiMS me, rousiu !' — luid so he left me.

Lady Miu. O, tlie barbarian !

Enter Grup.

Gt/tup. A cord, your ladyslup, from Mfft]
PewitL ' j

Lady Min. Punr Pcwitt ! If »be cnn hut li« j
H-en :u puhln: places with a woDum uf qualtty«.
slic'ii the happiest of plebeians.

[ Htadt tlv. eurdA

* Mrs T'ewiit** resjiecta la laoy Minikin, and I
' Miss Tittup: hopes to have tlie iilcasnrc of at* \
' tcndiw! thcin to lady Kdiigree's hall this e»et»-j

* ing— Uidy l>aiAy svcfl UOMua' We'll eertninly
alletMl her — < rymp, put sotnc ine«:<iti;;r-t-ur<j9 upoft'l
my toilet, TU nrnd uri answer iminetliutcly ; nndj
tL*ll ODCijf my fo4kimcu, that he miiM make wimal
visits for me to-d»y iit;nin, and scn<l nic a list v^m
tliose he made yenterduy : )ic nmst IrC sure tuf
call at Udy Pettitoes and if she should unluckilxj
be at tiotue, he innjt any that be cninc ^o vt>-'
quire after her spruiuc-d iinllc.

Miti Tit. Ay, ay, give our coiDplinicnts to Iwr
sprained ankle. .

Lady A/in. That woman's so fat, shell never I
set well of It, and 1 am rcsolvod nut tu call atl
her door myself, till I nui »ure of not tindin;; hrtrl
ut h<tiuc. 1 am horribly low spirited to-day ! (tol
send your colonel to ptav at chcs» with me— 1
Miux Uf- bclim^d to you. Titty, 1 hare tnkui I
kiuii uf iiktti^ tu him; I hku every tbini; thaCl
lotes my Tilly. [Kiua Air.|

Miu Tit. i know yuu do, my dear uuiy !

\Kis$es ief.3

Lady Mitt, 'llinl sneer I don't like ; if she
suspects I *ti«ll hnie her! [Asidf.] Well, dear
Titty, I'll gu and write mv cards, and dress for
the masquemile ; and, it ttiiii wmi't raise my
spirit-H, you inu&i auist mo to plagite my lord a
iriik-. [£nr.

Jl^iM Ttt. Yes, and Til plsfuc my Indy n little,
or I am much mi;aakcn. My lord shall know
every tittle that has passed -. what a poor, blrnd.
Iiiilt'-Miric<l, self-coiiccited rrenturc ihii dear
fiieiid and relatiuu uf mine is! and what a fine,
Dpiritcd, uallunt Mtldier my colonel i>> ! .My lady
Minikin likes him. he likc« uty furtntK ; my lunl
likes mo, and 1 like mv lord; Imwevor, not »'i
much oi he tmagint-s, or t>i piny the fool wi
rashly as he may ei|x>ii ; «he inn«l be very ully
indeed, who can't dutter about the lUnie, with-
out humine her wimts. What n errat muloliiMi
in tlna fatuity in llm •.pare of lifter n inontlw ! —
Wc went out uf (jiulmid, a very ankivNrd, rrfu-
lar, good Kii^Usli family ; hut Imlf a yraf in
Fnwce, and a wiotcr pnised in tbe wanner cli-

I

J

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gotid

Tsbalc of Italy, ban ripeMd our minds to cver>
I rcfinetneiit of eaWr dtMipatiun, and pleasure.

Emler Coloxel, Tivy.

Ccl. "Hvy. Mav I lnjpo, raudiiTn, that vmtr
hinnbie MfTUt hjul tonic shore in yonr Iti^t
rercnc ?

iliu T^L How is it ponible t» hit\-e the least
I knowlcdee of colonel Tiry, and not malie him
' Ibe principal object of one's reSections ?

Co/. Ttrv, That roan n)u»t Lave vcnr litlle
fec-tini; aniTtavte, irlio U nut proud of a plaw in
the ibou^tit* of the fincu woioau in Europe.
Mitt Tu. O f>c, colonel !

[Curlties,njul hltttlirs.
Col. Tiiy. Bjr my booour, madnm, 1 mean
«rfaat I say I

Mia 1%t. By yonr honour, cutonel ! why will

yott pau off your coonterf to me^ don't I Lnow

I that yoodttt gentlemen regard no honour htit

I that which ift euet) at the ^nmin^ lal>lc> and

j »hich indeed ouf^ht tu be ibe onl; hoaour joa

ihnuld make free uitli^

Col. Tirif. How citi you, miis treat me «>
cruelly P have I not uliMilutcIv farsworn dice,
nii^tressei, every thing, wnce I (fared to offer iny-
aclf to you ?

Alt** Ttt. Ycc, colonel ; and when I dare to

' receive you, vou may return to every thing again,

and not violate the hiwa of the prcwnt happy

matnmnninl eiitahlislimrnt.

Col. TtTy. Ctive mc but your cooient, madam,

awl vour life to CHoe

jWix* Ttt. Do you p:t my consent, colood.
And I'll take care of ray life tu c-ume.

CoL TiT-y. ilow shall 1 pet your consent?
Miis l^t. By Retting roc in the humnnr.
CvL 7lr. But how to get you in the hunmur?
Mils Tit. O, ihcre arc several ways; I am
rery K^tid-iiatured.

Cai. l^rtf. Are you to the hamour now?
Jlfui t'it. I'ry mc
Col. Tivy. How tltall I ?
Mit$ Tit. How nhiiU 1 i — you a boMicr, and
not know the art miliiarif? — how shall I ! — I'll
I tell you how— when you have a subtle, treitdicr-
t COS i>otitic eueiuy to deal willi, never «tand
|«hill^-&l)ally, and Iom- your time in trcaiif^ and
■ parlies, but cock your Imt, draw vour stturd —
I march, beat drum — Hiil>, dubadub — present, fire,
pifl, uauB' — 'tis done ! tlicy fly, lliev vield — Vic-
toria ! Victoria! — [liunnmfi off^.
Col, Ttvy, Stay, stay, ray denr, deir niigrl !

[Bringing^ her beck.
ilfiu Tit. Sor no, no, I hare no time Co be
I Stilled now; besirfe«, lady Minikin i» in the vk-

Eiurs, and wnnta you at chcAS and my lord is
i«-spirited, and manU iiit: at picquct; nty uncle
f ia ui an ill liiirnour, and wants mc lodiscard ^ou,
•nd go Willi liiiii into tlie cuutitrr,
CoL Tity. And will yuu, miss'r

Miu 7U. Wa I !— no. I never do ■ lao
bid : but yarn oodtt — so, pro to tny ladr.

Col. Tity. Nay, hot, aum

Jfiu Til. Nay. btit, oaloDdi, if 70a w«at obey
your commiuiding officer yoa abould be bfob;
and ihcfi my maul won't mecmpt of ymi^^uudi,
colonel !— lAok'e, »tr, I will oaanBu] ttfonmM-
risge, and do what 1 please afterwardv or 1 hare
been well edacated to renr litdr parptne.

[Kril Miiw TiTTCT.

Co/ Tivy. WhBtamadde*a iitt!— \o»,ift
had lite IcaH atfecnno for tiie prf, 1 shouM be
damiuhly veit at this ! — but she Sr« > Ine fic-
tuoc, ajul I must have Iter if I
lol.&c

Enffr Sir Jobs Trcttlct mmj D4TT.

SifJoJin. Hold your tongue, Davy; yov ■&
like n fool f

Dory. U i« a fine place, your hoaonr, and I
coula live licrc for eter.

Sir John . More shame for yo'i- mt

ever! — what, amun^ thici'ea aiid ; ":'—

What a revnlnttUD «ince mr time! tr.c-DMrFi«r,
the nKire I've cause fur lamcnlotioa ; whal •
dreodful rhaitse has time brought ahonl in l«e»>
ty yi^Ts ! I should not havr; known the fka
i^ii, nor the people — ail the t-*^^, thai aaii
Vi Dohlc on a|^)eanuicc, arc nil taken dowi^
not a bob or tye-irip to be seen ! nil Uk dej^mv
from the parade in St James's Pari, 10 tbvani
and brush at ihc riirner of eiery strrec, hm
dieir liair tied up— the taasou laving bhcis, tlv
baker nith hi<t h:i<ikel, the p4t(i->-ii. '--t-Tn| nvwv
papers, and thi- doclara pre^. < qc, bnt

all their hair tied up ! and li roaiOBN

many heads arr tird up every month.

Dary. 1 sliail bnve mr head tied op liHM^
row • Mr Wisp will do it for nie — your hoMT
and I louk likn Philistines amon^ them.

Sir Joha. And I sluiM break vour head tf iti*
tied up! I hulc innuMttinnx: a^l confttsit.'a, m4
no distincfiin ! — the streets aow arc as nnotk
iw a turnpike nnd ! no rattling nnd eseidiea
the linckneT*conchcs; thn^ wtio nde m dm
are nil fa--t lulcep; and t>icy hare htrion a
iheir hands itmt t)ie coachman muMpulltnv^
chetii, w\mi \\\cs are to be set down — wtai tam;
and nbniniuntion !

l)wif. Is h, so, your honour ? — ^Ycckias, 1 li»
it hugely !

Sir John. But joti must bate and detest Xm-
don.

D*tvy. How can I manage that, ytair boDd*.
when there is e%'cry thing to delight my cy^*'
cherish my Iwsrt?

.*iir JoltH. Tis all deceit and dcloridn !

Duvy. Such crowdioK, coaching, cartidb m*
snure/inu! wich n power of fioe *i*ht»r !■•
sbopb full uf line tilings ! and ilien siicti noe ib-
mioauocs iiil of a row ! and such fine. tUaT

Oahrick.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

569

i

I

I

Udics iu the nrccts, to civil aud so gncelcsft ! —
they ulk of country gjrls! clieM licre look more
hcaltliy and rosy by Sntf.

Sir JoAm. Sirrnlt. liicy arc pruatitutcs, aiij arc
ciril to dcltidc and destroy you : they nro paiul-
ed Jenbels! and tht^y wtiu li^arkt^n u> Uiciii.
lika Jexabel of old, will i;o di the dogs ! it' yuu
dare tu look at dicm, yuu wUl be Uuiiled ; and it'
you speak tn thciii, you nrr undotic.

l^ry. Blc^s us, blew us ! — Imw does yx>ur lio-
nour know all this ! — were they na bod iu your
time?

Sir John. Not by half, Davy— In my time
Uicrc w:ik n «>rt of dci'i'iiry iu Uic woret of wo-
tneu; bui the hartots, now, watch like iyi!:crs for
ihcir prey, rmj drag vuu ui their dens of iiifnmy
— See, Davy, how ihcy liave ti>rii uiy nrcki luih !
[^nr* Am neefaivth.

Davy. If you bad gone civiJy, yuur huiiuur,
they vh-iuld nut have hurt yiu.

Sir Jvhtt. Well, we'll i^et away at fast at we
can.

Ddiry, Xoi this nuinth, I hope, for I have not
hud hidf niy belly-full yet.

Sir JoJkn. I'll kuuck you down, .Dm-y, if ynu
grow proflii;iite; you sha'nt ^ out Bguin tu-
night. mul io-u)urruw keep in my room, and suy
till I can lor'k ovrr my lliiog\ uud tea tliey
duii't clieat you.

Uaify. Yuur honour, then, won't keep your
word iviih me ? [^Sulkity.

, Sir Jithn. Why, what did I promise you ?

Dtn^y. That 1 shnuld Uiim nspen'oih of one of
Ibe thnitreA to-iiight, and a shilliog-place at the
4Khrr t</-iaorruw.

air Jiikn. Welt, well, so I did : is it a moral
fiece, Davy }

Dwy. O ye«, and written by a ckTf[ym.in ; it
is called the Uival Canunoitcs, or the Tmgcdy id'
Araeadocia.

S*r John. Be a |;uod lad, aad I won't \x worse
ihati niy word ; ihcrir's mcney for y<m — [Givet
him u>mr.] hut come strait home, for X iludi
want til go Ui bed.

jyttvy. To be sure, yimr honour — as I am to go
•oon^ ill mnkc a oight of it.

[AiiiUt unit exit.

Sir John. This fellow would turn rake and
^L-nniiii if he was to stay here n ncuk lon|{er —
I mo, whnt daufiers nrc in ihis town at every
^'idiBp! f>, that I wrri- once !>ettlrd Mfe ngiun at
Tnitlcy riiuc ! uothitic but ti vnvv luy Luuntr>-
ahouUl hrini: me bock nj^oin. My niece Lutrelia
i» BO bc-fi^lii'im-d ami Ite-ddvillid, that nDihini!,
I fear, can varc hrr ; )iow<;v(.r. to eaw my cuii-
BCtence, I mu« try. But wlrni can bt- expected
Troni the yiitin<4 women of these limes, hut sallow
lookfc, wild sHiL'tikcii, saucy wunlh, and ItKtAe nu>-
r«U ! They lie a-bed all day, Mt up all night ; if
thty are mIciiI, llicy are gjiming; nnd, if they
talk, 'tis cither tcandal or iufidclity; and thai
ifaej may luuk what ihey arCf their hctuls are all

feather, and round their aedis ara twisted rattle*
snake tippets— O tempora, O mores !

[EmU.

SCENE II.

I>ORi) Ml n I c r t dUcavertd in hit paicdtring-
gott-n, aUh Jc&Samy and MlOkOV.

Lord iUin. Prithee, Mignoa, don't placue ma
any luore I dost think that a nublcman s lieail
has nothiojc to do but be tortured all day
under tliy infernal iiiifters? give mc my cloatJis.

Mig. Veil Y<m lin» ytmr moiieo, my lor, you
no goot humour ; the devil may dress your chi'-
veau for me ! [JCtii,

Lord Min. That friluw'i an impudent rascnl !
hue he's a ^nius, so I must bear witli him. Our
beet' and pudding enriches their bloud so mocfa,
that the slaves in a month forget tttcir misery

and M)up-iiKii;;rc O, my head ! u chair, Jo-

suny ! I must absolutely change my winc-mcr-
ch;int : I can't taste his champaigiie without dis*
ordering myself for a week ! neigho— —

4

£nf«rM]»TiTTur.

Mii$ Tit. WItat makes you li^ my lord i

iMrd Mia. Because you were w ttenr loe^
child.

Mui Til. Indeed !^— I sboiUd ratlier hava
tliodg^lit my lady had been with you — by youf
liKiLs, my .lord, lam afraid fortuitc jdted yuii
last iitgtit.

Lout ilfin. No, faith ! our chnmpaienc waa
nut i;oml yesterday, and I am vBp<)urrd like uur
Kti^lijh Novcuibcr; but one gl:tiicc uf my Tit-
tup can di»pi-l I Bpour* like — hkc- —

Alia Tit. Like soiiif thing very fute tubesure;
but pnty ket'p yuur simile frtr ilic lu-xi lime ; ami
harke — a Utile prudence nill not be uuiiM; Mr
Jeuomy will think, yuu mad, aud mc v-onr.

[HalfoMide,

JfS. O, pray d'tii't mind mc, nindiuxi.

hird Mm. Uftdso. .Icsaamy, look out my do
mino, nnil I'll riii^ the bell when I want you.

Jet. i sImII, my lord. Miss lliink* that tvary
body is bliiHi in tliC liousc hut herielf.

[/Ii4t/^, «iu/ trit,

Min 'lit. Upon my wonl, my lord, yuo must
l>e a httic more prudent, or wc shall bccutiK- tha
lj>f*ii-tiilk.

Lord JV/iit. And v) I will, my itcnr ! and,
tlnTcfore, to prcreiit surprint, I'll kK'k llw; door.

ilia Til. Wtml do you meat), my lord f

I^itd Mm. I'lutkiicf, child, prudence ! I keep
all my jewels under luck and key.

J/iM Tit. Vou are not in posKssion. yer, my

lord : I cnn't stiiv two minute^; I <vtily ouuc to

till vou, tliat huly Miuikm snw us yeaterUay io

tlic tutckueycuach; die did nut kutnv me, 1 bc-

1

504

BRmSH DRAMA.

[Gauick.

Mere. She pretends to be greatly uneasy at jqot.
neglect of her ; she certainly has some misduef
ID her head.

Lord Min. No intentions, I hope, of beii^
fond of roe?

3/ui Tit. Xo, no ; make jroorself ea^ ; she
hates yoD ino^ unalterablj.

Lord Attn. You have given roe spirits again.

Aliu "Ht. Her pride is alarmed, that )-ou shotdd
fffcfer anT of the sex to her.

Lord hlin. Her pride then has been alarmed,
ever since I had the honour of knawing her.

J/iti Tit. But, dear rov lord, let as he merry
and wise ; should she ercr be convinced, that we
have a tendre for each other, she certainly
would proclaim it, and then-

Lord Min, We should be envied, and she
would be laaght at, my sweet cousin.

Mm Tit. Nay, I would have her mortified,
too; for, though' I lore her ladyship sincerely, I
cannot say but I Inve a little mischief as sin-
cerely; but, then, if my uncle Trotley should
know of our afftiirs, he is so old-fashioned, pru-
dish, ajid out-of-the-way, he would cither strike
me out of his will, or insist upon my quittii^ the
house.

I^rd Min. My good cousin is a queer mortid,
that's certain ; I wish we could get him hand-
somely into the country again — he has a fine foi^
tunc to lta\'c lichind him

Alits 'fit. But, then, he lives so regularly, and
never makes use of a physician, that he may live
these twenty Tcan-.

Lord Attn. What can we do with the barlrari-
an?

Afiu Til. I don't know what's the matter
with me, but I am real It in fear of him : I sup-
pose reading his fonual books, when I was in
the country with him, and going so constantly to
church, witli my elbows stuck tu my hips, and
iny toes turned in, has given me these foolisli
prejudices.

Lord A/in. Then, you must affront him, or
you'll never get the better of him.

[Sir John Trotley knocking at the door.

Sir John. My lord, my lord, are you busy ?

[All/ lord poet to the doorioftiy.
Afits Tit. Heaven:) ! 'tis that detestable brute,
my uncle !

Lord Min. Tliat horrid dog, my cousin !
Miu Tu. What shall we do, my lord?

[Softly-
Sir John. [At the door.'\ Nay, my lord, my

lord, I heard you ! pray let me speak with

you ?

lA>rd Afin. Ho, sir John, is it you? I beg

your fHirdun ; I'll put up my papers, and open

the door.

Afits Tit. Stay, stav, my lord ! I would not

meet bim now for the'world; if he sees me here.

alone widi yoo, bell rave like a '"■*<min ; pat
me op the cfainuiej : any where !

lAlamed.

Lord Mi». [Abrnd.'] Fm coming, »r John I—

here, here, get befaiod my great chair ! he absii%

see yon, and you may see all ; 1*11 be ihort and

pteasant with him.

[Put$ Iter hekimd the dmr^mnd opeu
tit door.]

Enter Sin JoHif.

[During tkU Mreae, my lord tmnu the dUir, a
Sib Josh aoxv^ to amcemnirrvr.

Sir Join. YoutI eicuse me, my lord, that I
have broken in upon you ; I heard you talkii«
pretty loud ; what, have you nobody with yoa?
what were you about, conun ?

[Looking abomt.

Lord Min. A particular affair, sir Jc^n ; I al-
ways lock myself up to study my speeches, and
sp«ik them aloud for the sake of Cbe tone and
action.

Sir John, 'Ay, ay, it is tbe best wi^; I'ai
sorry I disturbed you ; you will excuse roe, cou-
sin !

Lord Afin. I am rather obliged to yoo, sir
John ; intense application to these thii^ nunt
my health ; but one must do it for tbe sake of
tlw nation.

Sir John. May be so, and I hope the muioB
will be the better for it — youll excuse me !

Lord Min. Excuse vou, sir John ! I lore
your frankness; hut w}iy won't you be franker
still ? we have always somethii^ for dinner, and
you will never dine at lioroe.

Sir John. You must know, my lord, that 1
love to know what 1 eat ; I hate to travel, where
I don't know my wuv; and since you have
brought in foreign fashions and figancs, every
thing and every body are in masquerade; your
men and manners too, are as much frittered and
fhcabeed, as your beef and mutton ; I love a
plain dish, my lord.

Atiss Tit. I wisli I was out of the room, or he
at die bottom of the Thames.

[Peeping.

Sir John. But to the point. I came, mv lord,
to open my mind to you about my niece 'tittup;
shall 1 do it freely ?

Alits TV/. Now for it !

Lard Afin. The freer the better; TTttap*s a
fine girl, cousin, and deserves all the kindness
you can show her.

[Lor.D MiMKiN andTiTTVP wmkengns^
each other.

Sir John. She roust deserve it though, before
she shall have it; and I would have her begin
with lengthening her petticoats, coreiing her
shoulderv, and wcaiing a cap upoo her bead.

Mitt Ti€. Of frightful ! [Atide.

Garstck.]

^ IflM Min. Han't yoa Ihink a rnper Icr. fal-
li»K Hliaotden, and Uiic tisir, ddi^litt'ul objecii,
sir John f

Sir Join. And, th«rrfore, ought to be conceal-
ed; 'lia thrir interest to conrcxl thcin. When
YOU bike from tlin uitn ilic pleasure of irnnginft-
don, there will be a scnrcity of hu»bnnil9: luid
ihen taprr Ives, fnMim; shouidcrB, aud flue Kair,
mat be hud for nothing.

Lifrd \Tin. Well wud, sir John ! ha, Iia, ha '
^ur nieop ihiiU wear ii horM!iiian*<i cont atid
jack-biv>t« to plffniK von — ha, hn, ha !

Sir John. You ninv sneer, my lord ; bur, for all
that, I (hinl: my nioco in a bad way ; «be must
leave mi- and the coiintrj*, fonooth, to »ee good
ooni|Minv and r«»hioiis; I have jcen them too,
and wish from mr heart, ihiii she r» nnt much
worse for her jmimcv — you'll excuse ine !

iorrf Mia. But why in n (tfisMon, iir John ?—
[Jtfv totd nmli nut/ huifshs at Ml« TlITtr, aho
p€fp% t'retui hrftinil.\ Pnu't ytn\ lliink, thai my Ijt-
dv aitd I fhtUl bL- abtu and willing tu put her iulu
tnn road ?

Sir JitKn. Z<Mmds, my lor»l, you are out of ir
yourself! Thi< route* t>f viHtr irnvellin^ : ajl the
Cown know how vou and mr lady live together;
■nrt I imttt tell you — vou'll cxrusc mc ! that inv
niece suffers by the bargain. Prudence, my lunj,
U ■ very fine thing,

lj>rti .\f/«. So is along neckrlothnicely'twist-

tcd iotrt a button-hole ; but I don't chu^e to wear
oac^you'll evfuse me !
Sir John. I wi>b Uint he, who first rJiongcd
long ncckciotlis for such ihin^ ta you wear, had
tlie wenring of a twitted neckcloth^, tbnt 1 would
g^ive him.

Ijird Mi». Pnihcc, baranct, don't be so so

tbofridiy out nf the way ! Prudence is n *-ery tuI-
(pir virtue, and sn iocompaliblc niili our prewnt
ease and roHnement, that a prudent man of fash-
ion ii now as ^cat a mimclu ai n pile woman of
ttuahty ; we got rid <if our main>*i'it Aonfr, iit ttte
time we imjwirted our uci{;hbours' rouge, and
their morals.

Sir John. Did you ever hear the like ? I
am not surpriwd, my lunl, that you think wi
lightly, and talk ^u viiliily, who arc so polite a
busbiuid: your lady, niyrou»'inf is :i fine woman,
«od brought you a tine fortune, and deserve* (^tet-
ter usage.

»Lorii Min. Will you have licr, eir John? «hc
is very tmich at your MPt ice.

Sir John. Profligate! What did you nuury her
foTi my lunl ?

Ijorti Mtn. Convonicnrc Marriacc t« not,

tvow-n-dats, an atlair uf inclinsitiLni. but convD-
aicnce; and they, wlio mnrry for love, and such
oTc(-fiubioned stufT, arc to mo as ndicalou» as
thoM, who ad^-erlisc for an agreeable rompaniun
la « prnt-chaJM.

Sir Jtihn. I hare done, roy lurd f Mi» Tittup
'■ball cittier rctuni with inc mto the country, or

^^ \0L. III.

not a penny simtl she have from air John Trol-
ley, baronet. ( Whutla ami «alk» abmt,
Miu 'Ht. I am fri^htenud uut nf mr wits 1

[I/)lo MiniRIN lin^Sy aaii tit§ dmPK.
Sir .Mff. Pray, my lord, what fausbaud ii ttut
you have prorided for ber ?

I^rd Mill. A friend of mine ; a man of «rle
and a fine gentleman.

Sir John. May be lo, and yet make a iNiMiiil
hn^haml l^ir ull thai — Voall eieuie ne ! — Wh
eslHtc lm« hr, prar f

hjrH Mln. Ile^i a colonel; bin elder brothecj
*ir Tan Ti»y. will certainly brenk bis neck; Ain
ifien uiy fnend will be a happv ninn.

Sir Ji^n. Here's moralt ! a hajipy man, wheal
bis bmther hn« broke hb neck !~a happy inau [
— mercy on me !

Lord Mia. Why, he'll have six thousand a«|
ye«ir, sir John !

Sir John. I don't care what hc*U hnrc, nor '
diHi'i tare wliat Ik- is nor who ray niece murnes;
slie is a fiof ludy, and let her lure a line gentle-
niau ■ I slian't hinder her. I'll away into tb* ■
country ttMiiorrow, and leave vou to voor lino d(K I
ings: i have no tclibb for ihetn, not t ; I can't i
lire nmonj; y<Mi. nor cat with you, Dor fame with }
you: I hniR cordi and dice ; t will neither rob^
nor be nibticd ; I am contented with wliat I havej, |
and am very bappy, my lurd. ibouah my brother
boii nut broke his neck— You'll eicuac me I

[Eiit.
lartt Min. Iln. bn, ha ! Come, foa; come out
of tour hole! Ht», ho, ha !

Miti Tit. Indeed, my lord, you have uiidona
me; not a foot ftbiill I have uf Trotlcy luoiKir-"
that's positive I— Hut no niaiter; there'* no dan*
KBTof his breakitiit his nerk: ao, Til e'en mak*
myiieir bnppy witli what 1 have, and bebnve to
him for the future, as if he wai a poor rolatioo.

Larii Min. [Kmeelitig, tnatcAtag her hand, and
fiiiiiug t'r.j I must kneel, ami adore you for your
<pirit, my sweet, heavenly Ijicretia i

ilr-enf^rSlR Joux.

Sir John. One thing I had forgot • [Start**

Milt Tit. Ila ! he's here attain!

Sir John. Whv, wliat the dtril t — lieigho !—
my niece Lucrelia, and my rirtuouslurd, atudy-
ini; sjieeches for the good of the ititiou ! — Ye*,
ytm, rijit hare been making line speedica, imleed,
my Inrd ! nnd your nr^mcnls hntie pmaiteii, I
sec ! 1 tjcg your pardon. I did not mean to intm-
fDpt vnur 4indie9 — you'll excuse mr, my lord !

tjtrd Min. [Smiting, and mtytking Aun.] You'll
etcusc mo, sir John !

Str John. O yes, my lord; but I'm afraid tbo
dcrri wont excuse you at Uie proper lime I — MlH
Ijicniria, liKw ilo you, child? Vou arc tuba
married won— I wish the genilcinan joy; Misi
Liif retis, be i^ a happy man, to be &ure, and will
want nothtni; hut the breaking of his brolltcr'a
neck to be completely so I

•ft K

580

BRITISH DRAMA.

UlSTCff.

Mitt 7T^ Upon toy word, uncle, yoo are a!-
vnys puttinf^ bad coii*tnirtiuii» ujiou thine>; mx
lonl has bcco sulicitin^ mc to marry bU frtciKi^
suii Imvmt: that mument — exturted u c^d^hi
from me — be wa» ihaoliing — bimI — juid — viishmt:
iDCJov^in hia foniitih maiuicr— ^— [HailtUiH^.
Sir John, U Uiat all ?— Bui how came you lion ,
child f did jou Hy ilmvn (he chimnrv, ur in at ihr
I .wmdow? fur T don't remcuiber «C£iDg vou, ntieii
[ was Utrv bel'nrc.
Mill 111- lloM con you talk so, ftir Jotm ? —
LTou rtally confuutid iiie willi your bu^iiicioiw ;
fand ihea, \ou a.A mi many questions, and i have
VflD moxiy t)uttf:s to do, that — that — ^iipon m; word,
[if 1 (lofl'l make hutr, 1 »hiui't pet my dfTM rea-
lty for tlic ball ; »o I inubt run — You'll exi-u»c
[UC, uiicle ! [£xff ruHning.

Sir John. A fine hoftcfbl young lady tlwt, my
[ lord r

liird Mi». She's well bred, and has «tc
&'r JoAji. She ba» wit and breeding eoouicit lo
I'lough at lier relations, and bestow fuvnun on
1 your lordship ! but, I mu«>t tell you plainly, ray
LlunJ — you'll excuse me^ihat your miirryintty>ur
I lady, nty cousin, to use bir iLl, :uid »cndin{i fur my

■iccc, your cousin, to debauch bcr

hsrrd ilin. Yt>u*r« wann, sir JoSn, and don't
know ihe world, and 1 never contend with igno-
\ nuice and pouion; lire with inc iome tinic, and
you'll be sati'ticd of niv honour and ^ood inteiv
I Ckms to you and vour laraily. In the mean lime,
' command my Ikiusc ; I mu^t awny miuindiatelv
to lady Filli^m.-*» — and [ am wirry you won t
make one Tfith us. — Mere. Je^samy, give me my
dnmiui), und call a chair; and don't let my uncle
want for any thing — You'll excuse uic. air John ;
tol, lol, deiol. &c. I £jri/ tin^in^.

Sir John. The world's at an eno ! — hero's litif
work ! h^re are preiiuuit doin|Ey ! Tlii- lord is a
pillar of the ttatc, too ! no wonder iliat the build-
ing ift in danger with «uch rotten siipportors l —
lict^b ho! — Anil -then my poor lady Mmikin,
what a fnend and Imsbund' the is ble»>ed with !
let me coDMilcr I — Should I tell the f;ood wumnn
of these prank* r I may only make metre mi?-
chief, and, uioyhap, ^o near to kill her ; for she's
85 tender as she's »lrin"uft — Poor lady! I'll cVn
-found comfort her dirrctly. anil eudenvour lo
draw her from the wickcdiH.-» of this kiwn into
the coiiiiir>. where she btu\ll have rciuliiii;, t'owl-
ing, and fisliin-. to keep up her ^pirila: iiu<l, when
I die, I will lenvo her that part nf uiy fortune,
with wh^ch I intended in ruMrun) the v'u-tnes of
Mi^ Lucretia Tittup, with a pla{>ue to her !

[Exit.

SCRNE HI. — I-^DTf JtiuitKiti'« apartment.

Laux Mikikin sri/ CouiXEL TiVY rfiiorverei/.

Lady Min, Don't urge it, colonel ! I can't
xhwk of coming home Irout Uk; mas(jucrade tbi^

ercniin;. Hioi^ I ibcmlfl pa«a fcr my laKet, il
nould makr ao oprmr mmoti% cbe >eiii—h; aii^
^rhaps, from the mistake, brc*k utf yoar wtuk
with Tinnp.

Vt>L Thy. Mf dnu- lady Bduakia. yon kmm
lay ittarrijtc,K witti ynur nirce » only a woMiiMj
coiuidcnuian ; mj iit^ aoil pnocipAl abfa »
yno— yon, wnAmm I -tberefofr, wuj dew Wt.
Vive me your prumiv to Irare the bait willi aa.
\ ou must, lady Muliwiu : » buhl xavtm (tAtm^mi
«. soldier as 1 am, ouiiht not to be \uM ftia
plunder, v«hen tlxc town ba» ra|iMtal»fecin

/W% i/iM. Bat it luu mit cmfNtvUlcd, md.
pcrlmps, ne^er wUl; bowevtr, coiond, awee fat
are hi furiuos I must consc to cmais, I thtnli—
Keep your eyes upon tnc at tlie h«ll — 1 tlani I
may c&ptxt thai — aod wlten I itnip my bankr-
chief, 'tis your sifEtuU for pursuing ; I itm&pA
home as fast aa 1 can, yoo may folhrw mr a M
as you ran; my lord and I'itiup will ht \
wise employed : Gymp wilt let tis la tht I
way— \o, DO, my hcait nii'^itca me!

i'til. Ttri/. I'licn I am nin«ralUc !

iMiiy Shn Nuy, ratlkcr I ban you ibooU tie
miwr^iblr, oilunel, I u ill iikIuI^ yoar aatiil
spint; lucct uie m litt bcld ; tbc/«s lay pm^
let. {Tht v.* liimn Ur fSm.

CoL Tivif. [Seiiint; i/.J I'bus I accept ym
sweit c)uUleiv£c ; and, if I fail too, bu« l,ktff^
atlcr, both in love and war. be Wandeij witklW
imiDo uf coward ! [KmeeU^ mmd Jkum Aer ImA

Enter Sta Jouk, cjtcni*g tlx rfbir.

Sir JuAa. May 1 presume^ ooaaia—

}M(fif Mim, Ila ! l*f^"

iur JitAn. Mercy upon ns, w!nt arc wc at m»*

[LooftiaitMiM

Linii/ Jt/m. Ilow cau you be su nide,sirMa.

tu come into a lady's room wttboot ficM laack-

tuR at iIk door? you Imvc fnghicued lacooiri

uiy wit» !

Sir John. I am sarc yoa hare fn^UcMdfl'
out of mine I

Cut. Tivy. ^uch rudenrw dcwrrrt dratJi'
Str JoUn. Death, indeed ! fur I utTet •iWln*
cover myself airnio — All juirs of die «nc ^
all Dliidjiut: for the pMi\ of ibc natioa!

hi<ly MtH. Wc nmst sotr' ' T^

voke hiiu. lUalfi. i

t'oLTtvy. I woald rut hilt i.MK.ii. n % ..>^><t-

mit «ic. [Aiidc tu Ijk»» SJfUii»

Sir Jxihn. The dc«'il has ^i bu bowt' v '^

house, and has corrupted the whole (aniily- "^

^etuutofit«K fast as I can, \aA hcshnaUW

hold of me, too ! [Cm/

l.udy Mtn. Sir John, I most insist aposf

not i^oini: uwny in n mistake.

•Sir Jtthn. No mistake, toy lady ; I aw tbufM^
ly cim>'inced — Mercy on mm \

hidy Mm. I must be{ rou^ ur JdiSi b** "

Garricc]

BUmsn DRAMA.

I

mftke may wraiiK cnnstnictinni apon l)ii« nccW
ilcat ! yuu inii»t kittiw, thitt itic iiiumcni ytiii nas
at tite door — ( liad (iPtiuiMil itic coloticl iiu lotiKcr
Co Ih: iiift cneniy in liin itvit£tit n^tii MiMf Titlup
^tbiH liircw liim htia «u».li u mjitiirr — ilttii.up<iii
lay prumiiinc mv tntrtt-^t willi vou-^timl \%i^-
ia^ ItiiiijoT — lie i'ell up<»n liU knct^s nnd— siiid —
[Laughui/t.] — lla, lia. lui !

Co/. Tivy. I la, hn. tra ! jrn, yes, I fell apnn
my knees — and — iind

Ar John. Ay, ay, Tt-ll u[hin vourkni-e^ ttlid —
and — tin, lia! — A very goud juLc, raitli '. and tlic
iieat of it is, ihnt they Are wiTihing joy nil ever tlic
bouse, u|}oii ttie Miiir occasion ! — iind my lord i»
vrnhiogjoy; and 1 wi»h tuoi jay, lod you, wiih
all my nean !

Lady Mil- Upon my word, sir Jnhn. your cmrt
Mipit:"nt atli'Ct uc strongly; oxid, iIkhi^Ii my ro
•cntiucnt is curlicd by my regard, my lear» cau-

mit be resirainoci ; *ti« the only re«oi>ree my io-
iiocentx has Ict't. [t'tit, f'>"''f"1

CtrL TiTi/. I reverence you. sir, u n reiatioo Um
lh:it Imly: but, M tier »l)iiittcrer, I drU■^t you x-l
Iter h■n^^ iiiii*l be itriud, luul my hnnuur Miii>f>rtl ; ^
yni kiiow v«lint 1 ntcnn ; tukc your cboic4; — tiintv I
piiuf, sword. r>r pi^nl ; t'onsider it cnlmly. and* I
dcicnntiiu as ymi pit-ate. I niii ft «itdicr, ur.T1h^^]

[Etit, _

Sir John. \"rry fine, tnily ! and sn, hecweeo^j
the CT'Cudilc Hnd the bully, my tliruul i« to ba
cot ! They arc fiuiltv uf all Hjrts of iiiirjuity ; uidr j
wlicn thev nrc difoorered, nn liiimihiv, n>> repent
nnce ! — (lie Ui)ir« hnve recuiiriie tu their totif OM '
or their trnrs, and tlie KBllanu to tlieir swonU I '
— Ttiai 1 may not be drawn in by ibc one, or
drmwn upon by the other, I'll hurry into tbo'
diunlry, while I retain my H-nBca, and can »lcrp
in a whole >lun 1 f -^^''^

ACT n.

SCEXE L
filler Sin Jonx and Jcsuut.

Sir John. 'I'litRr. is no bcannn tlii*i-! what a
loud are we in ! I'pon my word. Air Je^Miuy.
you should look well to the liouse ; there nre cei-
Uiinly nigucs abmit it; fur 1 did but cru»» tlie
%«ay just ivm to llic piuuphlct-'>bop. tu buy n
Touch uf the Times and they have iiikeii my
baiif^er from my !»>Hc ; ay, and had a phick at my
wudi, too; but I heard ot' tlietr inc'*,^ aod hail
it sewed to my pocket.

j€i. Don't be nianned, sir John; 'ti> n very
roTumoD thiKC ; and, if you walk tlie BtrrcK with-
out coe»ov, y>»u Mdl be pu:ked up by prii-atccr*
ot'ail kinds^ila, Im !

air JiAn. Not bo ahrmcd, wlien I'm r<»bbe<l !
vthyr, they niiiclit hnvt* cut mv throat with my owu
haneer ! 1 shfin't alccp u wink all nii'lit; m, pray
Imd mc vwie wc-a[K»ii ut' dcfcnrc; l'»r I nm «urc,
■ r ihty ntinnk me in tlic opeu ttreet, tlicy'U be
with lue at mi'lu a^oiu.

Jn. I'll lend you my own iwurd, «r John : bp
■anirecl there's nu dan^-r; thrTc*» mlibiug and
murder crieil every oiglit uoder my window ; but
It a*> more disturbs n)c, that) iitc licking o( my
watch at my bed% head.

S4r John. Well, well, be that us it will, [ mutt
be upnn inv eiiard. What a dreadful pUce thi»
is ! but 'lit. ail owing to the c<imiptM>n ol' the
Uiuoa; the fireal lulkt t^nuie, ami tlie poor fulks
rob; no wnndtr that murder ensuet — cad, wi,
■•d •' VVell, let me but i;ct over to-nisht, and I'll
'Jeave thu dm ol' thirves to-iuom>w-~llnw tontt
jwill your lord nod lady May at ihu making and
lUiamery, before they conic home?
JzM. '!'» imiKMsibte to wy iho time, sir; tlwt
fttly drpcuds upon thp spirits of the company,

and the nainrc of the cotcrtainmetit : for my own
part, I ecnrraUy make it my»«ir till four or liva
in the iiKirniii^.

Sir JiJtn. \Vhy, whnt the doril, do you owkff '
one at these mnbqucrndiniCK!

Jet. I ittdnni miss, lir; 1 may venture to aaj,
that tiobody know^ the trim nod aiuult talk of tlic
phtce better than I do ; I was always reckoned
an nicoi II parable mn^k.

Sir John. Thou art an incomparable coxcomb,
r nm sure. [Aiitk.

Jrt. An odd, ridiculous accident happened to
me at a manguerodc thre«i yean agt^; 1 iraa in
ti)M'>p-sj)ints,Bnd had drank n little too frvclv of
tlw champaiEhc, t believe —

.Sir Jo'tn. Vou'll Ik* h:mt:<-d, I beUcve ! [Mide,
Jes. Wit llcw ahiiut — in tlMirt, I wtu in spirits
— At last, from dunking and rattliuf:, to vary the
pleattirc, we went to ihnKinp: and wIh>, d'> rou
tiiink, I daiKed a minuet widi? He ! he E PrajTt
Ruem, sir Jolin \

Sir JoMh. Dwiood a miiiact with f

[Halfatidf^
Jrt. My own Indy, diatS alt. TIk eyes of the
whole Bssemhiv werr upon us; my Indy dances
well, and, I believe, 1 am pretty lolrrabic : Alter
lite dance, I was runnini* into a little coquetlry
and ftinnll talk with her —

Sir John. Wuh your lady ? Chaos i» oma

ogaiu ! [Aiidr,

Jrg. Witli mv ladv — but, upon my turniOK my
hand thus — \CoitcnltdlH.\—cti»d ! »Iic caugbc
inr: nhi*<[)ered mo wlio 1 was : I would lain laive
laughed licr out uf tt ; but it wmild not do — No,
no, JcMuiny, mys she, I am twt uj be deceived :
pray, wi-ar gloves for the future i for you isay oa
well CO bare-faced, as slww Uiat liand aiKl di*>
tnontt rini;.

Sir Jakm, What a aiok of uiiquitj' !*-Pr»itUii-

588

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Gaiuck.

tiao on all aides ! from the lord to the pirkpock-
et! lAatU.}—PT-\y, Mr Jp*«*iiiy, oniong your
other virtuety I suppotc ^ou gaiuc a lictic, eh, Mr
Jemmj }

Je%. A little irhisl or so; — hut I am tied u)>
from the dice ; I mutt nprtr tcuch a hox again.

Sir John. I hisIi you was tied up somewhere
ti\at-—\Andc,'\ 1 iwrat from top tu tot! Pnjr,
lend ine ynur •iword, Mr Jessamf ; I shall go to
my rooiD ; and let my lord and ladv, and mv niece
Tittup, Lnow, tliat I beg they will excuse cere-
IDOoies; that [ must he up, and gone, licforc tlit-y
go to bed; that 1 hnve a mo&t prDfouiid respect
and love for thcni ; and — and — that I hope we shall
never tec one another a^in aa longas wr li\e !

3(X. I shall ct.-rtainly obey your comtuandi —

l^hat poor igaorant wretches these country e**'*-
rtlemen are ! \^Audt, and wt.

I Sir John. If 1 slnv in this place another dar, it
[would throw inc into afwer!— Oh! — I wish it
I vras morning !— This comes of viuting my rela-

£n(ep Davy, dmnk.

J JBo, you wicked wrctrh ymi — where have yoa
I' been, nod wlmt hnve vou been doing*

Dnvy. MeiTV-making, your honour — Loml<»i
for ever !

Sir John. Did I not order you to cotnc direct-
ly from the play, and not be idling and rakinp
nbout ?

Hffpy. Servnnu don't dn what they are bid, in
l^ndon.

SirJahn, And did I not order vou not (o make
a juckauopes of yourself, and ue your hair up
like a monkey ?

Davy. And tlirreforc t did it — No pleasing
tlie ladica witliout this — My lord'* servant* call
you an old out-nf- fashioned oo(%er, aud have
tauffht me what's wIihi.

Sir John. Ilen'fc an imp of the devil! he is un-
done, and will poison ihft whole country ! — Sir-
rali. get cvcrv thiiit ready : VII W g"»ing directly.
liiivt/. To'bed, sir? I want to go to bed my-
•elf, sir.

•Sir John. Why, how now— you are drunk, too,
wrrah!

Dart/. Inm n little, your honour; bectiuse I
have been drinkini^

Sir Juhtt. That is not all— hat you bare been
in bail company, sirrah !

Dory. Indicd, your honour's mistaken, I ne-
ver kept such fitHwl company m all my life.

&> John. The fellow docs not umlrrsiaDt) roe
—Where have you hiTn, you ilrunliard }

Davy. Drinking, to be' Mire, if I am a drun-
kard; and, if you Imd hcen drinking, loo. as I
have been, vou wnnld not be in such a passion
with a bo<lr— it makejk tine so s;ood-natiired.

■Sir Jphii. There it nnuil'rr addition to my inis-
fortunw! I shall Lave ihis fellow carry into the

country as ttany vices as irill comipt ikt ^oW

parish:

Davy. Ill take what I can,, to be mn, jtn
worship.

Sir John. Get nway, you bvan ymi f and tbtf
ofTlhc dchauchcry you havr roniract«d cbtkfbrv
night, or I sluill icate you tM-bind. as a fif9fm
perwm to make oiir of his loiit<>hip'% fAtoiJy.

DttVy. So miicli Uio lietlcr ene me mire

wa^es, lesSwwk, iind the key uf thraleecOiib
uikI I am your servant ; if not, prtwide ywjfvtf
with nnotlicr.

Str John. Ucrr's a reprobate J—
plrtiim of my misery ! but horE'cc. » illam ; pt v
l»cd — and sleep olT rour iniqiiitr, and ilwa pai
up tlie UungBi, or I'll patk yuu off lu NewgUi;
itnd timnsport yoa for Uie, you mscaX yoa *

Davy. Tlml for yr»o, old rndgFr ! f Si
Jitiffrt.] 1 know the Uim hctt* r ihaii to hv
enrd Mith inooii-stiine. I wt»h itiat I «nM to
here all my d:iyiD^ibis is life indrcd I
livrs up to bis eyes iu eluv«r: tliry hare «>^
and board wages, nnd notlitU£ to do, but to fnm
fat uitd saucv — ihcy arc as hnpp> as Utcir ni»
lers; ihcy plav for mtrat rard«, vmr !iVf r*-
peror*. drink lUc fi^he^, and ^n :i - '»

as muth ensr and tmo'^uiilitv, aa ; :-

ing to a sermon I Oh, *lu a line hie I

[BriltrAf.

SCENE IV.— A thnmbtr I'a Loro MiVtCDi^

bausr,

Kntfr \jyt o M I X t K l ^ tmti ^1 iw TllTiT »
mai^ueradt lirttatt^ U/^klrd hy ix>^m^.

Lord Aim, Set down the candles, Jr«M}i
and should your lady c>iiii<> liunie, let nrhaor-
bc sure you are not out oi ihi* wav.

Jfi. I have hvcd too lunt: with voor InrdJhy
to tife'l ih*i caution — who the dtvif lw»r •^t*
DOW i but that's mv lord's busioeis and not ••«>■-

MitM 77/. [Pulling of krr mtuk.] Vpna ■*
word, my lord, this cnminp home so fDoa tim
th(t masquerade is icry iru|>rndcnt, and vtUfl^
tninly be ohwrrcd — 1 am »n"*f • — — -"tI*
frightened, I ran asmre ytiu — n. -kf

has a lisht in his room ; the acciu. ..: ..-^c^fS'
ine; will ccrtnlnlT kt-rp Iiim npon tjm ai<l>
pniy, uiy h>rd, let us drtVr tntr laertiaps liit'

Jijes into the eoimtry— I And that my L^
K-art, thouph it has ventured so far, erawsfi^
ful, and nwkward to pmcriw the fiigdiW*
wanner climes— [Jlfjr ford tak/t irr hr thchi^
— If you will not de*<i%|, my hnd— wc aw «p
rated for ever ! 'ITir wijht of the prectpior tirw
my head : 1 hnvt> Irrn eiddy wjih tt tno kdC "^
tuTiHl turn t'mm it nhilc 1 ran — pmv lie qaii^^
lord ! I Miil iitpct \i)u Ti»>iiiorrQW.

Ijin-ti .If in. To-oiormw ! *li> bd a^ ia Bn»

GiRRlCK.3

BRITISH DRAMA.

S99

I

tuation — let ihc weak, bnshrul, cvyisli wliiner be
intimidncf^H ntth tUe%c faint alarms, but let the
bold, (>x)>enenced litvcr kindl« at the dan^r, ftiid,
like the etgle, in the inid»t nf starmy. thu» p«>unce
upon his prev. [Tiiket hold of her.

Mitt Tit. Dear Mr Kagle, he merciful f pruy
let l*>e pmir piecoo fly (or tlii* once.

Lord Min. If I do, my dove, nmy I l>e curbed
to have my wife a» fond of me., ri I nm now of
Umw. [Offh-» to Aim her.

Jet. [Withtmtt knocking at the door.] My
lord, my Wrd !

jtliu nt. [Screamt.^ lla !

Ijjril Min. Who's dicrc !

Jet. [ Peeping.] *Tu I, niy lord ; may 1 come
ini

Lord Min, Damn the fellow t What's the
niMter f

Jet. Nny» itot roochf my lord — only my lady'b
come Itunie.

Miss T^t. Then I'm unrlone—nhat eholl I do?
ni nifi intf» rav own room.

Lant Min, 'llicn she mar mrct you

Jet. There** a dark, deep closer, my lord ;
nuM may hide hcntrlf there.

Min Tit. For Menvni'ft iiake, put me intn it,
•ml when her IndvAliipN snfc, let me knotr, my
lord. — Whnt an rscnpe have I had !

Livd Min, Tlic ranmenl hor inril spirit it laitl,
1*11 let my an^loiit—l/^frt A^i'if a /Arr/mrf.] —
lock the door on the inside — Come softly to my
Toom, .Fcwamy

Jet. If aboard creaks, your lordship fthallnei-er
ghre me a laced n-atstcuat again.

lExcunt on iiptoet.

Bnttr Gtmp, tightin^ in Lady Minikik and
Colonel Tivr, in mta^Merade dregtet.

Oymp. Pray, my lady, go no furilter with ihc
oolooel; I know you mean nulhin^ hut innorence.
but I'm sure there will be hloodshed^ for my lord
■ 9 rcrtuinly in the Iiou^e — 111 lake toy alliidary
that I lieard^— '-

Col. XVrv- It can't be, I tell vou ; we left him
this raotncnt at ihc tnaMjuenule ; I !i|>oke to him
bc'Ibre 1 came out.

I^fii/ Min. lie's too busy, and too well em-

£l«>yed' to ihmk of home — but don't tremble so,
iymp. There ii no harm, 1 ft.«^u^e ynu — the
colonel is lo iniirry my niece, and it is proper to
•cttle some matters relating to it — they are left
to us.

Gi/mp. Yes, ye% madam, to be snre it is pm-
per, that you talk together — I know yoo mean
nothing btit innocence — but, indeed, ibere will

I be hloodfthcd.
Cot- Tirtf. The girl's a fool ! I hare no sword
by my side.
Gvmp. Rut my lard ha*, nnd you may kill niie
anotncr with tl^t — I know yon mean nothing
bat inooreutv, but I certainly hcnrd him go up

I

die back stoirs into his room, talking widi Jet*
samy. i

i-tih Min. XiK impomibk but the girl must 1
hnre fancied this — Cau'l ynu nnk Wbup, or Bli^|
lioti, if their master is cxHne in ? ^

GtfMp. Lord, my lady, ll>cv nre always drunk
before this, nnd luleep in the kitchen.

/Wv Min. 'llns rn^htriied fool ha$ made me
OS ridiculDiii as berrfrlf 1 Itnrk ! — C'oloiu'I, Pll
swear there is somethinii upon lite stain — now % \
am in the 6cld, 1 find I am n coward.

Gt/mp. There wit) certniuly be btofMlshed !

Cv. T\vy. I'll slip down with Gymp this back
way, then. [Going,

Gvmp. O dear, my lady, there is ioiDething
commi^ up thent too !

CqI. Tiry. ZuuihIs ! IV got between tar* \

filY>S I

Ijidy itin. Run into the cloaeL

Col. l\ry. [Rnni to theelotet.] There's no re-
treat ; thn door is locked !

l^adif Mut. Dehuii) tlie chtmney-board, Gymp,

Col. 'Vlrv. I sluill t:eitniulv bv taken prisooefr I
[Gett behind the iomrd.] Vou'U let roe know '
when the enemy's decamped ?

Lady Attn, l^nvc thai to luc — do you, Gymp^ '
CO down the hack stairs and leave me to face
my lurd; I think I cun match him at hvpocnsv. *

l&ti davn.

Enter Lord Mimkik.

Jjyrd Min. What, is )-oiir ladyship so seon r^
turned from lady FillijEree't f

l^dft Mm. I am sure, my lord, I ought to be
more surprised nt your beini; here so soon, when
I SAW you so well cniennined in a tete-^trte
with a Indv in crimson — such sichta, my lord, win
always dtire me from my most lavtwrtte wnnt^
meats.

Lord Mia. You find, al least, tlmt the lady,
wboercr &he wa-\ could not eiifpee me to stay, |
when I found your Indyship had left the ball.

iMtly Min. Your InnMiip'* hneerinji upon m*
unhappy temper mny be a proof of your wit, but
it is none of your humiiiiity ; niMl this bohnviaur
is ns fireat an iunult upon me, as evrn your false-
hood ilscir. [Pretrnd* to >rep.

Lord Min. Nay, my dear lady Mimkin, if yon
nrc resoUed to play tra^y, I slinll roar unay
too, nnd pull out my ciunbric handkercliief.

htdif iUn. I think, my lord, we had better
retire to our apnrtmetits ; my weakness and your
brutality will only ciposc QS to our senrauls— —
Where is Tittup, pray ?

Lord Min. 1 left her with the colonel— -a
masquerade to young folks, upon the point af j
matrimony, is as delightful as it is discnsim^ to
those who tire hnppily married, and arv wise
enough to love home, and tht? contpnny of titeir
wive*. [Tokfr hold of her hand. ',

Lodjr Min, False maa! 1 had as liere a imd
touched me, [Am^

AOO

BRITISH DRAMA.

LGAiircs.

Lgrd Min, She pres me the rritson— I mun
propose to «tKT, nr I sluill iicvpr ^ri riH nF her.
[.^iMcfe.J — I am nguikli tu-tiqcht — he^ — be— tlo, mv
dear, let u« nmke a li(rlc iirc here, tatA h»re »
fatnil; tttc-o-tetr^ b^ way of novcllv-

£n<cr JcKiHY.

Lc-t th«fn uW awH^ that chimaev-boord, ood light
■ fire Itere imiDcduttelv.

ili»/v A/'t. What fthail I Hu ? [ylude, «fit^
grtatitf alttrmcd.'j — Here, Jcsaamy, liicre n no
occasion ; 1 am guine lu mv own diamber, and
titj lord woti't stay lirre bjr liiuiwlf.

[Erit Jtssxur.

Lard Milt. How cruel it it. My Minibiii, to
deprive me of tlif pleasure of a doiiie^ic doetlo
A good escape, failh ! \Jttiif.

Lodjt AUn. I have too much rcgnnl f*ir lord
Minikin, to n^ree lo any thine thnt would atFord
hiui so hide pleasure — I shall rcUrc to my own
apaxtmcnL

IjOi^ ii/in. Well, if your lailvship nill be
micl, 1 mutt still, Itkc the nil>>cr, •ttarvc and ^eb,
tliou^h possessed of the ^reiitest ireaMirc [ijoni.]

I wiab yuur ladvship a good ni)>ht

iUe takeioHt rwtdity amd Lapt Mikikiv
tti£ other.
Ho\ I prcfiuiQC [Saimin hrr.

Ijidtf Min. Yimr lordsliip t9 loo obliging

Jiuty man ! \A»ide.

Lard Min, Dici^refable wnmnn \ \Atide.
[Thiy aripe thetr Itpi, audesrunt diffcnnt
warn, cerfntonivHtii/.

Min Tii,' [Pcepinf! vut of He cic^et] All'*
flilcnt now, and quiie dark ; whnl lia? been doitifr
here. I cannot guc^a — 1 lone; to be relieved ; I
wish my lord was come — but I luar » nntjc !

[Slie ihtiti Iht dtmr.

Cot. Tivi/. [Pffpinfi aver tie eftimneyboord.]
I wonder my lody does not rome — 1 would not
Jmrc miwTiUup knnv uf this — 'iwould be ten
thousnnd pounds out of mv «fny, and I cnu't af-
font to ii;ivc so much fur a little callnnrry.

Mi$i TM, [CoMtrtf'onrard.] What would mv
cokinol Mty> to find liis bndc, that is lo be, in thi»
critical situation i

Safer TjORd MixtKiv at one donr^ in the dark.

Lord Min. Now to rcleatw mv pn»oncrr.

[Comes Jurwanl.

^ter Lady Minikin of the other door.

Ladif Min. My pour colonel will l>e a» mtser^
able, lu if lie wrere be^ioqcd in cnrrison ; I must
rcleuK hint. \(iiitng totrards the fhimaey.

Ijyrd Min. Hist ! hist !

Milt Ttt, iMdv Min, and Cot. Tm. Ucre !

iMrd Mim, This ««f .
Jjtdff Mim. SoAiy.

[Thef aU gro^ tW L0K» MiKll.lJi W

got L>DT MijKiK[>,on«f f4e CotARU,

All** TiTTi;»».

Sir John. [Spraki wUAaii/.] UfEbu this wMt I

Miy ! I um sure tbere are tbievcs ; (ci a hlaadB^

buM !

Jea. ludeed you dicant it; tfaaie ia oabak
but the ^iunily. [MI aUnd wadmm.

Enter SiK Joiix. in hU tiighi-^Mp^ m*d httftr
draam, with Jtjajmr.

Sir Jahm. Give roe ibc cmiidle, I'll ttrwK tkni
out. I wnrrant: brinr a btuadcfbuu, I mwl ttn
have lieeii skipjtiiiKatHRit that fcallemil dw ^rt
thi« hflii lirmr ; ttiere uiu^t be ttiiwriiief— I h*n
wntchrd tltem in this room — ho, bo, an y»
there r If ynri slir, you an- dead men— -[7^ f*-
firr.] — and [.String tJtt taJtrm.] wniDcn, too!—
ej5od — lia ! wln»i\ thr»f ibe aiim.- rvwty ffwa
Rud two cniiplt ilwy urc of tunrtrik

ever were liatrhed in lUia n^. ' -md — yaal

etcvsc me, eousius !

[They oU Ivok nwTim^

Ijjrd Min. Tn iho luuite of wonder, fao*
aII tht« aUiut f

Sir John- Weil, but UarkV. my dear
have you not g,'H wron^ pttnucrv ? — bare ha
liL'Pu MMse tnuioke in tjie dark ; I am rei^
^lad lliBt I have br(xi|^il you a candle to «et ail
to riitbts iigiuii— youll euroM me, gaod— wii^
Lodiefr !

Enter Gtmp, witk « cwadfe.

Gymu. What, in tlie oaine of merer, ii tit
matter f

Sir John. Why, the old muiter, and the di
u^tntc. Mm livrop: and I'll match my ohm
hen: at it HguuMt $d\ the world, and I «y dH*
urst.

htrtt }fin. What is the raeaniiv, air Jokn. d
all ihit tuiikii!i and rvm^iematinn f mn not h^
MimLin and 1, and the colonel tuid viior bma
be vrn in my lioiiae tAtetber, wttbovl w
railing! die family, aud making this upmri^
cunfu^on *

Sir Jrt/tn. Come, romp, pu>d Mk% f
are ull Clin f out idcil ; I'll scttie tbit taalHrj
mumeut. A* for yon, colonel — tbowb yoai
not dcH-rvi'd pinin dtitUnt; frnin idc, I mU aw
be licrioiih — vol* imagine tins y*uiu; lady U* ■
iiidc|K'iKlrul fortune, besides eipeciaDuoi fna
me. '^ria a mistake. She lun nn c\p«vxaww
fnim me. if *lie marry you ; nnd if 1 don't tw-
sent to bcr marriage, the wilt liare do (vrtsai u
all.

Co/. Tizy. Flaio dealing i» a jcwtJ^ uA •
thcw you. Mr John, ihui I can paiy yoaakwi'
am iiio&t biDcvrcly obliged to jfOtt («r yoti iio^

Gareick.]

BRITISH DR.VMA.

1^1

I

I

cence; aod I am, ladic«, your idmI obediciil'

Rumble ^rvant 1 stmll w« you, lUT lord,

nt the club iii-murTuw i

[Erit.

Lord Min. Sans Joute, mon eher eobiul

ni mtei Tou ihcrc withoul fall.

Sir John. Mr iurd, you'll luivc Kjmctliing vise
Co do.

Jj)rd JJiq. Indeed ! whut is tliat, good Mr
John?

Sir John. Yoa matt meet your lawyers and
crcdilurt to-tnorrowr, nnd be told what y»u tiavo

alwayft turned a (lcnre»r to ihAt tlie dis*i-

patiun uf Tuur fortune and nioraU toiist be lul-
fowed by years of porsimony und repentance.
As you are fund of ^oiiij; nbnmd, \ou may io-
dul);c that iucliinilioii without having it in your
power to tii'lul|:;c any other.

Lord Mia, 'i'hc bumpkin is no fooli nhd is
damned satincid '. [Aiitte.

Sir JoAu. This kind of quarantine for pcalt-
lential uiiuds will hrinz you fj your senws, nnd
make you reniionce foreqtn vices and follies, and
return with juy tn vQur cuuntry and pru[icrty a*

•ail- read tliat, my lord, aod know your

fmtr. [Ortrta fmper.

Lord JlJtn. What (mabomiuAiinuis this! that
M man of futhion, und n ncbU'inaii, iliiill )« obli'
fCed to submit to the lau» of \ii*. ctunlry !

Sir JpSi. Thank licuvfn, my lord, we are in
■liet ciiuniry ! Yon arc silent, ladies; if repeti-
laucc has subdued your tongues, I shall have

hopes of you ; a little country air mig^t perhaps
du well ; as you arc distressed, I oio at yow ser-
vice; wliat sav YOU, tnv lady t

Lady Min. lluivc^cr appearances have con- j
dcmncd me, give mv leave to disavow the mI><
stance of thnse appc-imnres. My mind ha«

bctrii tainted, but not jiriilligatc yuur kind-

ae» and example may rcsture aie to luy fonncr
natural En^hsh cuiiuitution.

Sir Jo/tn. Will yuu resign your lady to mt, mj
totd, for a time f

li^nt Min. For rrer, dear sir John, writboot a
murmur.

Sir John. Well, miss, and what ««y you ?

itui Tit. Uuiliy, uncle.

[Curt^mf.

Sir John. Guilty ! the devil you are? of
what?

3fj« Tit. Of consenting to marry one, whom
my heart does not appnive, and coquettini* with
another, which rrifitaship, duty, honour, morais^
and every tltingi but faaliion, ought to have fur
biddrn.

Sir Jiikn. Thus, then, with the wife of one ats* I
der tins arm, and the mistress of another under 1
tilts, I sally ffirtti a kni^tit errant, to reiK.-ue dis- I
tressed ()nm<tcls from those inonster% I'oreign vi-
ce4, and lion Ton, as they call it ; nnd I trust
that every Eof(lisli hand and heart )t«re will a»>
sitt me in so desperate uii underukiug. You'll
excuse roe, sirs !

[Ejeuntoauie*,

THREE WEEKS AFTER MARRIAGK

BT

MURPBT.

DRAMATIS P£RSON£.

MEN.

Sib Cubles Racket, a man affaihicm.
DmvcGi:Tf /mtker to Ladt Racket.
hawKUiCEjJriemi toStm Chaklxs Racket.
WoooLET, mttaehtd to Navct.

WOMEN.

Ladt Racket, wtfe to Sib Ciabus Racket
Mbs Dbcgget, wife to Dkucokt.
Naxct, her damghter.
DiMirr, wmd to Mks Dbvccet.
Strxantt, IfC.

Seau-^Lomdoa.

ACT L

SCENE I.

Enter Wood£ey and Dimity.

Din. pHO« pbo ! oo such thiog \ — I tell you,
Mr Woodiest you are a Eoere novice iu these
Bfbirs!

Wood. Nay, but listen to reason, Mn Dimitj;
has not jour master, Mr Drugget, invited me
down to bis countn-seat, in order to gire me his
daughter Nancy in marriage? and with what
[fretence can he now break off?

Dim. What pretence ! — you put a body out
of all patience — But go on your own way, sir ;
my advice is all lost upon you.

Wood. You do me injustice, Mrs Dimity —

Siur advice has governed my whole conduct—
Bve not I fixed an interest in the young lad/s
heart?

Dim. An interest in a fiddlestick ! you ought
to have made love to the fadicr and mother —
what, do you think the way to get a wife, at this
time of day, 13 by speaking fine things to the lady
you have a fancy for ?— That was the practice,

indeed ; but things are altered now— yoo bubI
address the old people, sir ; and Dcrer ttvatit

Jrour head about your mistress — None of tout
etters, and verses, and soft looks, and W
jtpeeches — ' Have compastiioii, thou angelic era-
ture, on a poor dying' — Pshaw ! stuff! uonsemc!
all out of fashion — go your ways to the old otf-

mudgeon; humtmr his whims ' I shall e«mB

it an honour, sir, to be allied to a gentleman of
your rank and taste.' ' Upon my word, be'i ■
pretty young gentleman.' Thel^ wheel aboot M
the mother : * Your daughter, madam, is tben>;
model of you, and I shall aidore her for yov
sake.* * Here, come hither, Nancy, take tlas f»-
tleman for better or worse.* * La, mamma, I a>
never consent'—^* I sliould uot liave tboa^
of your consent — the consent of your rdatioBtii
cooiigU : why, how now, hussy I So, awar T*"
go to church, the knot is tied, an agreeabkeV
ney-moon follows, the cliarm is then diadr^*
you go to all the clubs in St James's street : toV
lady goes to the Coterie ; and, in a little Oft,
you both go to Doctor's Conunons j and, if ^^

MurphV.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

on bfrtli %ide« prcreMt a H'lrorcc, you'll quarrel
like C'liitrurv clfiutiila nil Uic n-M ul' ;ruur Uvea:
liiat's ttie >vfty of lUv wnflJ nuw.

H'ood. But you know, iiiv ck-nr Dimity, (lie old
C(ni)>Je biivc received vwry luark o( uUciiliiui
from u\e.

J)im. Attentinn ! to He aurc jou dtd not fall
lukcp iti tlirir cdinimny : but whut then ? Yuu
sbtnitd have entered into tliuir choncten, plnyed
witli (lieir huinoai^ ond sacaficed tu itirtr abwir-
ditiet.

H'ood. Dui if my tcmiicr is too frank
DtMt. Frunk, itidcnd ! yes, you have been fruik
anotigli tti mill yoiinoU. Have you not to du
with a ricli old ilitii.t-.ce^M'r, ix-lin-d from buMneu
Willi ttii biiodred tlmu^itod poiirtds in liis pocket,
to cnjuv tilt' duht of ihr I^uiidoii nmd, niiidi Iil-
cmiU living ill llu; country— itnd yvt you tnu»t diid
I'ault Mill) his Mtuntion 1 Wtint it* lie lia$ made
a ridiculon^ tlinvTatk ul' Iua Uousc and gurdciis
you kiMw ]ib> liCMft in ivt up>u it; nod could not
^roii commend histiLsti-^ But y>ju mutt be too
frank i Those »r«lks and sdlcy* are too r*-i;id!ir —
Uiute erergrcciH ^tutiild uirt. t>c cut iniu uiili fnn-
laMir \liApes ! And thus yuu uJvisc a poor old
mccliaiiir, who delii;htK iu vverv tliinjc tltal's
mmmmtus, lo fdllow mture — OU, you ore likely
to be a succcislul lover !

Wmhl. But why ftlionid I not save a fatlior-in*
law from )k-iiis a luui*hini: hUhJi?

Dim. Mtike tiim your I'utbcr-in-lttw firjL
h^ntd. Why. he cnit't open ln« tvindow^ for
rhc du»t — he sutndt all day looking through a
poae of ptai-s nt tlw rnrts nnd »tal;l^-l»IlcllL■9 U6
■hej fNiitt by; and lit- oilU that liriiuf in the I'reali
mir» and eujoyiai; his own tbouchts :

Dim. And could not you let. bim en ou in his
own w'liy i You liii%'c ruiiit-d yoursclt by talking
iwiiM* to hiiii; and nil your nonsense to tho
dtttichter Mon't tnuke anteiids for it. And then
(be mother ; buw luve you played your cards iu
tiwt qunrlcr f — She tvnnts a tiii«el man of fa'
»tiion for her wcond daughter — ' Don't you see/
{Mys she; * Ihiw Impuy inv i-'ldu'&t girt th uuulc by
manYiDg Mr Charlc« liarkct? She has been
VHurned tlircc cniire wcoks and not to much a»
OQO *(*^y word luu paiMd liclMttiU tlicm— —
Nwicy almU have a man uf qunlitv, too !'

WiniJ. And yet I know air Charles lUckct
perferily wi-ll.

Dita. Yc&, so du I ; and I kuovv he'll moke hi^
lady wretched ui liist. Uut ulKtt then ^ You
abotild have hunioumd Uiu old folkb ; yuu jJamld
liavc been a lidLiii}^ empty fop, lo the c,ood olil
hKly; iiD'l to the old gmllerami, an admirer of
lin ta»te in i;;inl«mni;. But yun h»vc lost him :
lie u t;rowa fund of ihtb beau I>ttc|.tet\ who i^
here in the house u illi him ; the coxcmuh iogm-
tiate> himself by llattery, und you are undoiiu by
frank iK-3i!

Woott. And yet, Dimity, I won't despair.
J7iMi. Andjyct you tinrc rcaaoii W ucApmr; n
ToL. UI.

I

I

million of reasons — To-mormw i« fixed for the
(veddiuf;-duy ; air Chnrlcs and his huty arc to ho
hrro this very ni^ht ; they «rc eiiEinied indeed
lit a grent route in town, but thry tike a bcit
ttere, uutwiihiiaiidiiiic. The fnmily is sitime up
for them : Mr Dnigt^ct will keep vmi all up Jit
the neit nniiu tlicrc. till tiicy arrive ; ntid ii>-
iiiorrun the liu»ti(e» in over; nnd yrt ytiu dfin't
despair! hutth! Iiold your toiiiiuc; here runiet
I^relnce. Nicp in, and I'll ulvi^e somethini:. t
warrant you. [£rU Woodlev.] lite itid folks
sliall not have iltcir own way ; 'lis eitough to tcic
a brrily, to see an old father unJ ntotlivr marrviii);
ih<ir daughter a& they please, m iipitc of till 1
can ito. [£iiY.

Enter Dai'OCLT and Lovelacc

Dru^. And su you like my houic and ^rdenji,
Mr L<»veliice }

Ltve. Oil ! perfectly, «ir ; Uiey Kmtify wy
la.stc ol ull things. One seen vtlhw, wtiere na-
ture rcif^ns iu a wild kind of aimpbrity ; but
then, ihoy have no appeanmce of art— —no arc
at all.

Drhfr. Very true, rightly distinciiii>hod ;
now, mine a all art; no wild nature here ; 1 did
it inyftflf.

iiirv. SVhat! had you none of the great prv
hcjent» in i^ardenine to asMst you i

Drue. Laek-HHlay ! iK»-;-bll( ha ! T ondcP>
stand these tbrnxk^I love iny cardeit, I'be front
of my house. Mr Luvulace, i« 4iot tliat very '
pretty ?

J^re. Ktr^nt to a deernc !

Drvfi, Don't you like the nun-dial^ placed just
hy ray dininjE-tu^Mn wiudows i

Love, A perfect beauty !

Drug. I knew you'd Uke ii— and the moRo i«
sn wf 11 adapted — 7<'w/>ut rrfiu- * indtr rerum.
AtKl t know the mejtuinit of it — Time calelli, «nd
diccoveretli nil tlun)pi — hn, hn ! |iielty, Mr l^ive-
luce/ — 1 hnvc Ken people so stare at it as iltey
pate by — ha, lia !

Lore. N\'liy now, 1 don't bebcve there's a no<
blcintin in lliu kiiiKdom has such a thing *

Drtifi. t>h no — tWy h«vc not into a false
taste. I bi(U}>ht tluil bit u( ijround, die other
Side of the r«nd — ami it looks ver>- prirtn — X
made a duck-poud there, for the take o^ ibo
prospect.

Ijavr, Cbonninsly iiaii|:ined !

Drug. My IcadeD nnnfics lire well —

//JTT, llie* exceed niiriciit iilHUiiiry.

Drag. I lot e to be surpriscii at die taming; of
a walk with an inanimnlc tii;iire, that look« yod
full in (Ik (mv, nnil ran viy imtliiiii: in yny,
while one ii enjoviii^ otic** own ilktoghta — ha,
ha! — Mr I/ivc'lare, 111 ptiint out a Ixnuty tu
vou — Ju"* by (lie hnw-liaw, nl llir end of my
i:rfmnd, itiereis n line Dutch ti);ure, with n sen the
in his hnitd. mid a pipe iu liu mouth — that'* ■
jewel; Mr Lovclaco.

594

TSH DRAmIT

L/xtf. Tliiit escaped me : a thnuminl llmuk«
for pctiniini: ii uut — ^I oliscne *(« bave Iwo very
line ycvt-iiTPs bet'ore the house.

Vniff. Lack-n^luy, wr, Uiev Wok iiiKAUtli

1 lime a tlc«gn abuuc (hem — I intend— ha, ha !
it will l«c \cTj prettr, Mr Lovelace— I intend ii>
lisre them cnt intu the sh:ipe uf tlie two gtante
at iHiiIilltall — ha, Tta !

I^n^e. Nut)odyundcr5tanditbc3etfling;» likejoo,
Mr Oru-get.

Drup. Lack-a-dav ! itN all my delit;ht now
-(his IS what I hutc bct-n working for. t have
I »;reat iiii prove mciit tf> make Mill — I propose to
bate my evergreens cut into fofti6cmlinn»; nod
I slinll hate the Moro Castle, and ibe
llavmina ; aud then near it fthall be sliips nf
Diyrtle, $nilin|> upon seas of box tn attadk (be
i: «on't Uiat make toy plaer look very rural,
Ir LoveUcc?
Jjovr. Why ynu have the most fertile Javen-
btion. Mr Uriigget-

Uriig. 11a, Ita ! thi> Is what I have been «*nrk-

I inc for. f love mv corden— but I nnnl Hrij

I yoiir piinluii for a few niomentii. I mu^l Mi.-p

[ and v))eak with a fatnoua iturM-ry>tnan, who la

couic ti> uder me some choice thJu|cc. — Do, f,o

■nd j'jin the companv. Mr l^velace my

daiipiler Itacket and i^ir Charles will be here

piewntly 1 iJian't go to bed till I see ilicin

hd. ha I my plate » prettily vanpeatt.*d

— this is wlia( 1 hare been workinji for — I (iiietl

for AherilT (o ciijnv these thingv— ha, ha ! I Ent-

Ijove. Poor Mr Drupict ! Mynhcor" Van

TImndertcntrtinck, in his Tittle bot at the bide

ofa dike, ha« as much tn«te anil elef!;nnr-t:<

II<mcv<T, it' I can hut carri- off liU datichtcr. if I

can but rob hi* garden of ilmi (Inwer w tiy. 1

then 4inll say, * lliia 19 what I hai*e bci-n wurk-
in«f for.'

Enttr Dimity.

Him. Do lend ui your a*s»»ut»ce, Mr I/we-
bu-e — vou'rc a aweet gentkinaD, aad love a pawH
naiiired ai*Tioi).

Xore. Why, how now! what's the m:>tler?

I}im. Mv master is going to cut the two yew*
Iret-s into Oje shape of two devils, I lielievc : and
my poor miMntsA is brvaViop her henrt for JL —
Do run unci advi*e hnn n};;iiust it— ihe is joui"
Irirnd, y<io know she is, sir.

lA»tt, Oh, if timt'fcall I'll make that mai-
ler easy dirtclly.

Vim. Mt mistress will be for erer obliged lo
TOM ; Hnd ) ju'll many her dao^ter in the morn-
ing.

Ltwf. Oh, my rht- toric uluill di^Miado him.

Vin^ .'\ttd, Mr, put him a^iiist dtmliiig wIlli
lluiL nurtiery-tnuii ; Mrs Drugget hates him.

Sjwe. Doe* ihc }

Dim. Mortitllv.

Lose. Say no nure, tlte ImjKw b Aam.

[Eiil

Dim If herayinae warily oM Drvprf *dl

never foruivv \am Mj linia ws» at its hi(

«hift; but it" thb phx nkr*- -fio, bet*
N'ancy.

cono^^H

«p-

Ifmi

Kmtnr NaxcT.

A'bb. Well, Dimitj, «r|»u^
mtf

Dim. My sien ! w Kni mnkes vT»a
— -I thnu^it voD were |;one to h^ !

Nan, Wiwt kliould I ^ to bed for? Ody HI
tnmhie and io$% aod fret, luid br onctl— <fcef
are coiiig to man; ate, aikd I aw tn^Mm mi tf
my wits.

Dim. Whv then, ynu'rr tiir ofily Toanc ti^
within fifty miles round, that woultj be fnifmp-
ed a( meh a tlMrx;.

A'aM. Ah ! if tiiej- would let me c&tae fix w^
<elf.

Diiw. Dnn'l yon like >lr Lorctacc*

yttH. My luiunma does, (uit I don't; I rfoa^
mind hi» beiii^ u mao of faakion. not I-

Dim. And, pray, cau ywt do better tbn ft^
low the fu»liif)n ?

A'on, Ah ! I know tlierc's a (ashioo for tee

IxMioeti, end o fashion for dre&sdni; ihc Iimt

liut I never heard of a fastuon fur chr hrsrt.

Dim. VVhr then, my dear, tbe beut oa^
follona the fashion now.

jVuit. Does it ! — pray who «Ms tlw hatim^
(he heart ?

Dim. All the fine M»et in I^oodoD, n' mjvtb'
science.

Ntm. And wlmt's the last new fa^oo, fnjf

Dim. Why, to marry any fop, thai hMafrr
dcccilfiil, aKret-atile appcamnoes about Ihb;
4omcthiiie; of a jkii plmne, u good openiorfar
tbe teetlu niul tiilcraljtr tnilor.

A'«». And do thev marrr witliiMit lonv^f

Dim. Oh ! marrwng for lure has becaipO
white out of fu^hioii.

.Van. Whv, tlieii, I'll wait» till itial fll^~
comes np ofl:ain.

Dim. AihI then, Mr LoTcInoe, I redoa

San. Pshaw! I don't like hitn ■ hetalkstaat
as if he was the mo^t miserable man in the aiaU
and the cunfiileut thim; luuk^ so pleaded «Ch
himwif all the wtule ! I wnnt to marrj fur lovr.
and not for card-playinc — I sbnuld nut (e al^
to bear the life m^ ."•ister lea'U wuh lirC'ar*
Racket — and I'lf forfeit my new cap, d' AtJ
don't f^unrrel soon.

Di«i. Oh fie I no! they wmi'i "••"—' r-: »
while. — A ([uarrel in tlirre wr.
riase would be »nmewhnt of ittf-
and by we shull hear of their wi
humours. Ucll. but if yoa ilfm'r
lace, what, faj you to Mr Woudk; f

MUBPBT.I

BRITISH DRAMA.

^5

I

I

Nan. Ah t I don't know nliat to lajr— — But
] caii fciug KHiietliiiig Unit will explsin injr mind.

SONG.

WIten firfcr the Hfw youlli. pasnifg by,
IJife«lu6cd liisfdir roriii tu m_v t^f^ii,

I gazed, hut could not teU why;
My heart it went ihrab with dclij^t.

As iicsrer he drew, ihoM Aweot eyes

Were with llwir dear tiirinint; so bright,

I In-nthlrd, mid loi^l in ^iir|irt/c',
My heart it went thrub tviUi delight.

When his lips tbar dnr accents did Ity

The retuni of my Iuto to eatdie,
I tci)>Dril, y<>t he);;iin to guess why

My heart it went thrub with delighL

\Vc chanced the stolen glnnce. ihc food »inile|

VVliich lnvt-r* aliwir rend HrijjM;
M'c loukLil, mid wc iii^licd, yet iht* nlule
Our hearts thc.r vvunt tlirub vtilh drti^ht.

Content I MHin bliibbed, with n u^h,

My pruiiiiH: 1 vcittiiirri tu plhilit;
CotiK, Hymen, we ihen&linll kiii»w nhy

Our hearts tJiuy ^u Uirub with dehght.

Enter WooPLtT.

Wood. My sweeten uigel ! I hitre henrd nil,
and my heart overflows with love and gmii-
ciide.

Aon. Ah ! but I did not Vnoir von was lifttcn*
i^! Vou »bouhl not have l>ctmycd sac sO| Di-
mitr : I khuU be miery with viii.

Dim. Well, I'll inke my cIiuimc for that.

Ann both into my rutim, tmd uy nil your firctly
ihinq^k to OIK anotlKT Uktv. for hi-rt* cumcs ll>e
old gieutieiuun^tnaltc huste '. away !

[Effuat WooDLtv diidNiNcr.

£ii<er Unt'ocKT.

J}ryg. A fonAnnl, pn^Mimiiig cuxcoinh ! Di-
mity, do yuu step tu 3Ini Ucnv^ct, nod »rud Ittr
lutiuT.

Diif, Vcs sir ; it wot^e upon hira. I sec-

[£«/.

Drufi. The yew-tree* ougltt. not to be cui, iiv~

CM»t tiK'v'll hrlu to krep otTtho ihist, and t am

too near tiir roHrl already — a wrry, i!>ii(imni fiip \

Wbeti 1 HID in M) line a sitimiion, iiitd can sec

rj carriage that ^oet by. And ihen l<i ii-

le nursury-nian** nirilics ! A finer Aiicktii;;

LitetidtT, with Kigc Kfuwiiii: in lii» )i«.-lly.

tcr »ocn ! And yet ho wniiK mc not to

iffe It — Rut liuve it I will ! 'Hktc's a t1ne irce

kiK>wlvd^», tiM>, wiih Adam mid Krc in jnni-

; Eve's nose not quite grovro, but it is duHight

ia the sprioz will \» very fArward — lit have
tJuit, ton, with the vrpeni in i:>n>und iry
two poets in worniwnwl — I'll linve tliem Ixiih. —
Ay ; and there's a lonl niayor'n fi-u^t m honey
suckle; and itie whole court uf iddcrincn in
tiomhram : and thrac modern beau% lu jcMuminc,
somewhat stunted : they ad ihall l>e ni tnv gar-
den, witli llw Dni);mi t»f Wantlcy in box — till —ail
— ni have^ihem all, let my wife and Mr Ijm-v-
lace ny wlrnl the; wdl

Enta- Mas Docccrr.

Mrt T)rug. Did yon sci»d for me, lovcv ?

Drufi. The yew>irees ^tiall be cut into the gi-
ants of OuiUltiall, whrilit.'r yon vi'iil or iu>t.

Alrt Drug, Sura my uwu dear will do M he
pleases.

Urug. And the pond, though you pnute the
green banks, sludl be ualUd ruuiul, and I'll have
i« little fat boy in marble, ftpouUog up wmler
111 tho middle.
* MnDrttg. My sweet, tvhn liindcrsyou?

Drug. Yes, and I'll buy tlic nurscry-mim's
nhole cuulo^uc — Do vou iKiuk, after rettrini; to
live nil the way here, alniwt four miles from
Loudon, tluit 1 wun't do oa I plcatc in my own
garden }

Mrt Drug, My dear, but why are ynu in socb
a pasniuii i

Drug. Ill have the lavender pi^ and the A-
dam and Eve, ami the DniEon ot VVontlry, and
ail of them ; and there >li.tn't be a more roman-
tic tpot on the LfiiKlun rMid thau tniue.

Mrt Drug. 1 am aure it*A as pretty as hands
can make iL

Mri Drug. I did it all tnyiclf, and I'll do
mure - - And Mr Lovelace »ltaii't have my
danKhter,

Airs Drvg. No ! wlml's the matter now, Mr
Druj^t f

Drug. He shall learn better manners than to
abiue my bouse nod $nrili'n<s Voti put him in
the head uf it, but I'll diuLpoiut ye lM>th — And
io you may gu and tell Mr Lovelace, tl«l tlie
mntrh is quite off.

Jliri Drug. I aui'l comprehend all this, not I ;
but I'll tell him m>, if you please, mv dear. 1
am willing to ^ve m^rself pojn, if ic will ijive you
pkuaiiro : must I eiv« myself putn ? Don't Okk
mc, pmy don't; 1 (lun't like pniti.

Drug. I au resolved, and it »hall lie so.

Mrs Drug. I<rt it he so, i>kii. [CViVs.j Oh.
oh, irucl man ! 1 &hall break my heHjt« if the
mutch i^ broke oil'— if it is not courli»de<l to-
morrow, send for an undeitaktr, and biiry ma
the next d:iv.

Drag. How! 1 don't want that neither.

Mrs Drug. (Jh. oh !

Drug. I am your lord and nwiMer. my dear,

but n"t your ciecuiioiw* bef'trc lirofKe, it

must never be snidf tint my wdc died of too

£08

BTnrrsH dtiama.

rMctrnr.

■Hufa cqmpH—wc- ■ Chwr op, tht Itm onri i

fhb aJbtr dnil be srttM h toon m sir ChmHA
■od l*dj limAtfi amre.

Jfuj Drt*^ . Voa bfinc rn^ to life tgiittii. Yoa I
law*, my twrtt, whnt an happr oxipte sir
CInHc* «iri hH Indr arc — Why tliould doC we
make oar Naocj •> bappT ?

JSn/rr DtHiTT.

Dm. Sir Charles and lit* ladr, nwdam.
Atri Drug. Ohr dhanmafl' I^d trHnspnrted
»ilb juy ! W tinv arc they ? 1 long to wc Ibcm !

[Kri/.
Dm* Well, ur! the bappv couple we arri-

TCd.

J>u£. V«» tbey do live hjippT, tnclced !

DtiH. But K'>Mr inne will u iu»i?

JJf^«/t. I low lone! Dnn'i foreljndp anjill, ytMi

i'adi' ! ilon't, I ■■; ! it wUi laM during their tivesy
Iwpc!

Dim, Well, TDark the end of it. Sir ChaHcs,

I kuuw, i» ttttr and good humaurcd but he

cnii't bear rttL- leitst cotitrudictioii, no, not in the
lucrrst irilJe,

Jfru^. Ur»Id your tongue— hold your tonpwr !

Dim. Yei, Kir, I ha»r done — ami jet Hierc i^
ill itie nitnpmition of lir L'bvlcs, a rertnin hn-
moiir, wKirh, like (he flving eoiu, pivps nn cli%-
turtmnce to the fauiilv, iill it aetllcs in the head
— \V'h«*n once it *i%e« riiere, mfercy oo everr body
alxiut hini I but here tic contee. \Erit.

Enter Si» C'R^ntEs.

SirCha. My dear frir, Ikiujoor hand — bat
wljT Ftanrt nn ccremnny? 'I'o find jrciu up thu>
laif, innnifics mc bcvnrwl tntpreaiian.

Urni;. Ti-'' bu' unre in a »vaT, sir Charles.

Sir Cka. Mv obliiiaiitHi* lu y*>u are itiesprt-*-
nblc; you have k}\iii tiie the oiost tuumble
of prls; our tempers accord like unisons in niu-
■ic.

Dpk^. Ah, thnrs whnl makes tne hnppy in roy
' old days I my cluldreu and uiy garden are all my
CAre.

AVr Cha. And mr fnmil I^nvetnce — be ii to
have «>ur ^i«er Noncy, I lind.

Dntf!. Why, my life is »« minded.

Sir Cha. t)h, by all mrans, let her be mnde
happy I A verv pretty fellow, Lovelace ! and. as
Ifi tliat Mr — VVoodltv, I think ^-ou call him — he
b hut n plain, underlireH. ill-t'iwliiuned wirt of a
— niib«>dy knowt him ; Uo i* not one of us — Oh,
by nil tneaiis, marry her to one of u§.

Jirug. I JM'lin-fr it nui«r. be wi — Would you
tike anv rctVesliuicnt ?

Sir CAo. Nothing in nature — it is time to re-
tire.

Drug. Well, well ! pood nidht, llien, air

ChHrle-* Ha ! here com« my daughter

Good l)iJfh^ vir Clitirlcs !

SirCU. Banrnoo.

glad n> bear bow happy fnu w ; I apoat 4iaia
yoa fkow : theee't yosr eoorf ■■• wviliaB Car

yoa ; f xmI ni^C, my ptl •

Sir Cia. I oust Iwiiiii tJwa oU paV^ ai ir-
der to be roDCodbrnd m tim wiB.

Emtrrlxn IUckct.

IjuiJi Rac. O ta! I aaa qnie fitupHJ
hardly wme — (*by don^ y«« Up ine, jot

barout mao?

Sir CAa. Utere ! take ta/ an» "Wai

ever tb^ft to prett? nade m waft I*

Ladff Koc. Butt won't be lau^wd a> X

don't lo«'e vou.

.Sir CAoT Uor/i yoa f

hatiH Rae. No ; dear me ! t^ '^

don't you help me off with toy e^ • ' —

Yoa auk«srd thtnp, let it atone ! \<i-.i ;iu'i ta to
be about nie ; 1 tntzbt a5 wi>J| anc be marnat
for any use voa are of. Kcarh tnc a chair: ?"*
have ito cumtwutnn f»r nke — 1 mhi mi irlad Bi at
down ! why do you drag me to ruutr* ? Vcn k*i*
f hate ihem *

SirVha. Oh, thrrr% no eri^inf^ no hrrarth'%
imtete one d(M-« a4 other pet>ple of fWibion ^

Ladf Rac. Uot Tin oat di binuour ; I l'j«t il
iity money.

!^r Cha. How much ?

ImH Hoc. Three hundred.

Sir Cka. Never fret (br thai- ^I dan^ w-

loc three huodred pounds to contribute n jmK
hnppinev.

/^irfy Knr. Ddu*i you ? tint ralae tfaRe b*'
dred |r<tuml5 to pleasore me f

■Sip (.'All. You knot* 1 don't.

iMdif Rac. Ah. you foud foi>l ! Bot F biv
E^amin^. It almost nietamorphoiea a MtMoaa '»
III a Turyl Dn you know that 1 was Ai^oe^ *
my^eir ^eveml timet lo-nieht f I had a liogBialk
at titc vcrv tip of mv tongue.

,S*r Cka. nail ye >

JMiiy Itac. I caught myself at it; aad ml
liit my lips; and then I wiu crammed up a ■
comer of the rcwm with «iirh n strance patty <
a whiot-tiiblc, lociLing at blat.-k uhJ red nfOtn
did you mind tlicin?

Ar Cha. You know I was busv ebewben.

Jytdy Rnc, llicre was thai ^trance uaaeoi^
Lfihlf iromaii, "SXn Nif^btisluirtr. hhe fachiMl
»> ^tmnK;ely t') her husband, a poor, ioiifca>'*<
i;<n>d-niHun.it, k«khI »»rt uf a good-for-watbK
inMn : but f.tie no tenyetl bim — 'How cmiklfo
' piny that cord? All, you lm«e a bcw'^ aatf*
' hiw a put ! You art' « num^ull. v**o fci«»»»
' nre — Slndnm, he \\»^ the prxtre^t bead * *
' world ; be dors not know what be t« aha**

* you know you don't^ -Ab, fw ! I ■«i^*'

* lued of you I'

Murphy.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

\

Sir Cha. She has served to divrrt yoo, t »oc.

l^dif itdf. Anri tli«n, ti; cntwii all, lliere wm
n»f \w\j CiBck.it, who run* «n with aii eternal vo-
lubility of flothiDg, oitt of all scasoc, time, nnd
pl&cc. In tbr \biy mtdst of thn f^aune, she be-
^n * Lanl, nindiitn, I was npprchcnwve T

* should not be uble ti» wall mi jour tiir)v9lii|i

* my (wor little do*;, Poiiipey the sweetest

* thing lit iIh) wnrld— a spnd* led ! — there's the
' ktiave— t was fctdting a walk, me'in, the other

* tnorninp in the Park — ■ fioe froiiy morning it

* wa»— -I lijvc fnj«ity wcnthrr of all itiiii^^ — In nic

* look nt the lii!>t trick — nnd Kr>,ine'in, little I'uin-

* pey-- and if your Indyship wm to see the dear

* creature pinched wnih ttic frml, iinri minciiij;
' hii step*! atoHft the Mall — with lus pretty htlle
*■ innocent I'acc-^I vow I dun't ktmw what to

* piny — nod so, me'm, vliilc I wa» talking to

* cmptaiu Flimsey— Your ladyHhip know* captain

* FhmMy ? — NoUtiiig but nibhtsli in my hand —

* I can't help it -^nA m, me'm, live odiouft

* frieht» of d<>(;8 beset my poor little J'oiupey

' tltc dear cn'iiiurc has the iK'art nf a lion, but
' wljo can rcMii live at once .' And w I'mnpcy

* barked fur assistance the hurt be received

* was upon his rhcst — the doctor would not ad-

* TischJmtovcntureoiiciillthewound was healed,

* fnr fear of on mtiammutioti. I'ray, what's

* Cnimp*?'

Sir Cha. My dear, yoa woold oialte a moK
esceHent acircMl

Lati^ Rac. Well, now let n« qo to rfst but,

nr Chnric's how »hw.-kni>!ly you pl»y«l that Ian
rubber, when I sIikkI Inokni): nrer you !

Sir Cita. ily love, I played the truth of tlic
giune.

Ltit^ Rac. No. indeed, my dear, you played ti
wronj!-

Sir CAo. Pho ! lioitfeniie ! you don't under-
Stmnd it.

Jjaiiy liar. I bcs your pRrdou ; I am allowed
to play belter than V'>o.

Sir C'Aa. All conceit, my dear; I waa perfectly
right.

XvWv Rac. No 5uch thing, sir Cluirks; the dia<
OKind M-B» ih<* pl-'iy>

Sir Cka. Pho, plio, tidicfiloii*! the club wa»
ibc card a];uiQ»t the world.

Lai/y Hac. Oh, no, no, no 1 I amy, it was tbo
dtaiuuitd !

Sir Cka. Zounds, madam ! I tay it was tlie
dnb!

/.ai/v Rar. Wliat do ^u ily into such a puv
tioD lor f

Sir Cttit. 'Sdealh nnd fury, do yon think I
don't know wlmt I niii ahoiil ? I lell you once
more, llic L'lub wa« the judgment of it.

Ijtuiif Hue. iMuy be so — have it Tour own war.
( ]\'a/kt ahnttt, nnd fingi-

Sir Cha. \'exution ! you are the sinuifcest wo-
man thnt ever lircHl ! there's no convt-rsiiijc with
jroo — Look'c here, my bdy Racket— it's the

clearest case in the world; HI nuke it plain in a
luotDent.

Lady Roe. Well, sir! ha, ha, ha!

[tfiM a Bnferinf lavgh.

Sir Cha. I had funr cards left — a trump wa«
led — ihev were sii — no, iw, do; they were levcn,
■ltd we nine— then you know — the beauty of the
play wa* to

Laity Rnr. Well, now, ii^$ amazinx Co me that
you can't »ee it — ^ive me leave, air Cliarles — your
fcl't hnnd adier^ary had led hit last trump— and
he had before line^scd tlic club, and muglicd iho
dminond— tH>w, if you had put on your diti-
inond —

•Sir Cha. Zounds * madam, bat we played for
the odd trick !

SMdjf Rac. AtHi sure, tbe play for the odd
tnck —

Sir Cha. Death and fury ! cMi't you licarmef

Ladjt Rac. Oo on, sir.

Sir Cha, Zounds ! hear met 1 say— Will yon
l>car me?

L/uiii Hoc. 1 never beard the like in my life.
\Humx a tunr, nnd walks about frftfuUif.

Sir Lhn. Why, then, voo are enooeli lo pro-
voke the palienrc of a Stinck. — [fjooKM al her,
aad tJtr vaikt alnmt, and laugkt mneatjt.^ Very
well, madnm — ynu know no more of the game
than your fnthcr's tcadcn llen-uica on the top of
tlte house — You kmiw no more of whitt, than be
does of f>ardeninf;.

Lodi/ Rac. I la, ha, )ia !

[Takca out a plsti^ and tettUt hrr hair.

Sir Cha. You're a vile woman, an<) 111 not
sleep another night under tbe swne roof with
you.

I^dv Roc. As you pleaae, sr.

•Sir Cha. Mwlnin. it shall be a* I pleaM^-PH
order my chariot this moment— [Goni;:.] I know
bnw the card^ \hno|rl lie played as well as nnr
man in Rn{:lRnd, thnt let me tell you — [(rmM^.'l
And when your family were standin); liehind
counters, mcoaorin^ out tape, and barteriiti' for
Whitccbnpei needles mv ancc^titr«, iiuid»m,Jniy
luiixstors were •<]uatidc'riit|£ away wlmle eitmes
nt cards; whole estates, my liiffy Uacl.L-t — [She
hum* a lun(, and ht Umk* at hrr,\ Why tlienf
by all that'« dear In me, Pll iic^er enehniiue tva*
other word with ynu, goixJ, bud, or indiiferetit !

Look'r, my lady Racket, thus it »lof>d — the

tninip Ijrinj; led, it was then my busliii-iUH—

Jjtdif Uac. To play ilie ilinntond, to be sure.

A'tr Cha. I>aTiin it ! I hnvf done with you for
ever, and su you mny tell viur fnllier.

fAj^./-**raCllA.

Ijidy Hot. What a posKion tlie piiileinan's ii»t.
ha, ha i yi^uKht in a {trruh mnnntr.] 1 pranuts
hlut, lU i(ut give Dp iDv jud^mefil.

£nl(-rSlK C'UAKt:r>v

Sir Cha. My lady Ilnrket, look'e, taa'an^^
once more, out of purr good ouur^-

598

BRITISH DRAMA.

[Mdrpht.

Ladtf Rac. Sir, I am convinced of your good-
natiiiT.

Utr Cfiii. That, and tliet only, prevails with mc
to tull yiiii, iIr- club wns llic piny.

ImJ^ litic. Well, be it so — 1 bavo do objec-
tion.

Sir Cfia, It's thn dearest point in the world —
we wore nine, smd —

Lai/if Rac. And for that %-cry reason — You
know tjic club u:ts tlic bcM in the bouse !

Utr i'.ha. There is no such thing Uh talkioK to
you — You're a base wonian— I'll part from you
for ever; you may live here vsitli your fuUier,
and ndniire hi» fantastical evergreens, till you

^row as fnntastick younelf— 1*11 set out for Lon-
doB thin instant — [Stopi At the door^ The club
was uot the best in the bouse.

Lad^ Rac. How calm you are ! Well ! — III
go to bed; will ynucome? — You had better —
come dien — you shall cuiTiC to-bed — not aime lo
bed when 1 ask you ? — Poor sir Charles !

[Looks and laughs, then exit.

Sir Cha. That ease is provokin^!;. [Crosut to
the door rikere she aent ou/.] — I tell you tbetiia-
mond was not tiic play, and here I take my final
leave of you — [II'uMi back as fast as he caii.'\ —
I am resolved upon it, and I know the club was
uot the best in the house. [Etit.

ACT II.

SCEXE I.

Enter DiMllv.

Dim. IIa, ha, ha! Oh, Heavens! I shall ex-
pire in a lie of lau^hint; ! — this is the modish cou-
ple, that were so happy — such a quarrel aK lliey
h;ivc had —the whole house is in an uproar !- — ha,
liu ! a rare proof of the liappincss they enjoy in
bi^h life ! 1 shall never hear people uf fashion
mentioned attain, but 1 shall be ready to die in
a fit of laughter — ho, ho, ho ! this is Tuece
Weeki^ AiTtR I^Iarriagc, I thiok !

Ent^r DacccET.

Drug. Hey! how! what's the matter, Dimity?
^'hat urn I called down stairs for ?

Dim, Why, there's two people of fashioi>-~

[StiJlcM a laugh.

Drttg. W*by, you saucy minx I Explain

tliift moment.

Dim. The fond couple hare been together by
the ears this half hour — are you satislicd now i

Drug. Ay ! — what ! have they quarrelled ?~
what was it about?

Dim. Something above my comprehension, and
your's too, I believe — People in iiigh life under-
stand their own forms best — And here conies one,
tliat can unriddle the whuk^ alTair. [Exit Dim.

Enter Sir Charles.

Sir Chg. [To the people uithin.] I say, let the
horses be put to this moment — So, Mr Drugget.

Dnti-. Sir Charles, here's a tr rribte bustle — 1
did not expect this — what can l)e the matter?

Sir Cha. I liavc bedn u>ed by your daughter
in NO baM?, so contemptuous a manner, that J am
determined not to stay in this house to-night.

Di iig. Tlii« is a thundcr-lolt to me ! after see-
ing li'iw clt^anlly and fiishionahly you lived to-
gether, to find now all Kunshuic vanished — Do,
lir Charles, let me beol this breach, if posslUe !

Sir Cha. Sir, 'tis impossible — 1*11 not live with
her a day longer.

Drug. Nay, uay, don't be over hasty, let me
intreat you — go to bci), and sleep upon it — in the
morning, when you're cool —

Sir Cha. Oli, sir, I am very cool, I assure yon,
ha, ha ! — it is not in her power, sir, to^a — a —
to disturb ttie serenity of my temper — Don't ima-
gine that I'm in a passion — I'm not so easily rut
ded as you may imagine — But, quietly aud deli-
benucly, I can repay the injuries dona aut l^ a
false, ungrateful, deceitful wife.

Drug. The injuries done you by a faUe, oiv-
grateful wife ! not my daughter, I hope— -

■Sir Cha. Her character is now fully ktwwn to
mo — she's a vile woman I that's all I nave to say,
sir.

Drug. Hey, how ! — a rile woman — what has
she dune ? — I liope the is not capable —

•Sir Cha. I shall enter into no detail, Mr Drug-
get; the time and circumstances won't allow it at
prrscnt — But depend upon it, I liave done with
iter — a low, unpolislicd, uneducated, false, impo-
sing— See jf the horses are put^to !

Drug. Mercy on mc I iu my old days to bear
this !

Enter Mbs Dbvgcet.

Mm Drug. Deliver me ! I am all over in such
a tri'inlije— sir Charles I shall break my heart,
if tlicre's any thing amiss I

Sir Cha. Mndnm, I am very ?orry, for your
sake; but there is no possibihty of living with
her,

Mr X Drug. My poor, dear ^ri ! What can she
have done !

Sir Clin. What all her sex can do ! the very
spirit of them all.

Drug. Ay, ay, ay ! she's bringing foul dis-
sirace upon us — This comes of her marryio^ a
man uf fashion I

Sir Cha. ra>liion, sir ! — that should liave in-
structed hrr better — blie might have been sensi-
ble of her bappinesa— Whatever you may tltiij;

MmiPHV-l

BRITISH DRAMA.

B99

I

nf the fortittM! yoti ^nvc tier, my mnV crnnmnnds
ntfiect — claims ub«<lience, oKcntion, trutti, nnrl
love, from chip ml<»cti in tlic wurtdj ta kbc liiu
been, by an vlliaitce with mc.

Drug. And let nic lell you, li'wewr y«ii mnv
estiawtc ynur (|uulitjr, iiiy liaiighicr >» dear to
nie.

Sir CAo, Aod, sir, my character is dear tu

ID*!

Drug. Yet, you roust giie me Itnrc to tell
you—

Sir Cka. I won't hrnr a «oH !

Jintg. Nnl ill behalf ot' my own dauehtor *

Sir C ha. Nothing cAfi cvcuse her — 'ti» to no
purpow — i)te hll^ married above her; and iF ihnt
rirc«iin»lDnc4.- iiu'inc* the ludy t'oricct hrrsclf, *hf
&Uail at ieniti kc, titnt 1 <:ao and will support
roy own dignity.

Drug. But, Mr, I have a right to ask —

JIfrf Dmg. Hntii'Dcr, my dear; be a little
calm.

Drug. Mrs Dnifsel, do yoo have patien<-p ;
I mnitt iiimI will enouire.

Mil Drug. Don t be m> hn<ty, my love ; lla^c■
si>tnc respect for sir Charlc«'» rank ; don't be iio-
Jei)C with a man of hit foftliion.

Drug. Hold your tongue, woman, I wiv * —
your'e not a pervin ot" fiiNluon, at ieasi— My
dnuitliter »«« ever n good nirl.

Sir C-ha- I hare found hf r out.

Drug, (ill! then it in all orcr— and it docs not
ligniTy arguini; oboat il.

jlfnt Drus. Thai e\eT I ahoulil liv*? In itrcthtt
hour ! Iiow (lie iinrdrtiinote girl couhl take such
«ickcdnr*s in Iwr head, I cnn't iinnpine— 1*11 go
and speak to the uiiluippy cruature tliit moment.

[Esil Mra Ot 11.

Sir CAfi. She sunds detected now — dcu-t:tc(l
in her trup« colours 1

Druf:. Well, grieious a* it may he, let mc
hear the circuiii>[nnce« iif this unhappy hmiiic^i.

Sir Chii. Mr Druio^et. 1 have nut Imurc now;
but her behaviour h;i!i hceii bu eXBiperaiint;. that
1 shall moke the bc^t of iny way lo town — ?tly
nuod is fixed — She xes me no more ; and mi,
your sertiiit, t.ir. [Ertt Sin CtlA.

Drug. What a calamity has here hcfuUen ox \
n }^'kh\ Kir), niKt k> Mell di«p<Heri, nil the evil
(.'iHiuptiiiiioitiuii of hi-^li life, and foafiionulik; vkt-t,
turned her to fully !

EhUt Lovu^ce.

JjpTt. Ji»y, joy f Mr Druggrt, t pive you joy \

Drug, Dou't insult luc, sir ! I dcaire you
won't,

Ijutt. InsoU yo«. ^ir! ii there pny ihitig it»-
milrine, my ilear sir. If I take ihe liberty ti> con-
gnitnlate you on —

Drug. There ! there ! — the manners of hleh
life f«r yiiu '—he ihmks ihrrc's mithing In all thi^
^thc ill bclui^ivurvf a wife lie tliiuks ait ornu-

ment to her ehamrrer — Mr LoTclace, yo« shall
have mi dninili'er nf mine.

iMve.. Aly tltup sir. never bear mall-'e — I hikvc
rc' >iiiMd«»r(:d the thins '• "t*^ ciir-f cjucli me, if 1
ihin't think Toiir notion i if the <itnWli^4|l t:<^'^t^*
ami the cnurl of uMcrmeii in liornlicuin —

Ditt^. Well, well, well! there may be pcopla
lit the cniirt end nf the town in tnirnljr:ni, t<w.

fjivr. Vp5, faith, m» thc^rc mi»y — wid t believe
I Lxmid recommend you to n tolrinhle mllectjon
— hnu-ever, ivilli your daughter I am ready lo
venture —

Drufj. Bui T am t>ot rendy— HI not reotnre
my pri with you — no more dnusihter* of mtiMi
shall hnvc tliefr minds depraved hy |Mj)tie rices.

£afer WooDtEY.

Mr Wrwjdlp} — ^you *liall have Noncy W your
wife, as I promised ruu— take her TO-uiorm«
montioc,

H'ooi. Sir, I liare not words lo expecs»—

l.vce. >Vhat the devil U ilie miiticr with Uia
(»Id liaVientA'ti'T now?

DrHg, Add h*irk ye, Mr W.Kidley*— HI m-ik*
you a present for yuur eardcn, of a cofanatii>n
dinner in greens with the champion ridin* on
lior»ebnck, atid die sword will be lull grunu te-
fore April neit.

Wood- I »h»ll ntcriTR it, Mr» as your favour.

Drug. Av, ay ! I sec my error in wamiin; an
alliunco with great folk* — l' hurl rotlier hfl»<' vow,
Mr WooiUev, for my !M)o-iii-law, than any court-
ly fop of them all. Is this uutn gone ?— Is iir
Charles gone f

II'W. Not yet— be makes a ItfiwHng yonder
fur his hursc»-^ril step and call him to vun.

[F.iit WooTi.

Drug. I am out of all pnttenco— I am out of
my »cns» — I must see him ooce nv>rt — Mr
l4»elni:e, neither you nor aas person of fasliiiwi
shall rain another daughter of mine.

[Rtit Dnvc

IjToe. Droll this !— damned dmlt; and zvcvf
tyllafateofit Amine to me — the queer old piitc
is as whiin^ic^l ill hisnution* nf lifeasof i:arneit-
in^. If this ho the case — HI brush, and leava
him tu bis e^jtjts. [£j<r ]>Ovr.

EHttr ],ADT Itirnif.T, Mm Diidooet, anif

DiMIIT.

/yirfv Rat. \ rrriet, liarbannis wi»n! toionr-
rol in this uti»rri,MinUil>lc manner ; to alnrni l1»e
whole house:, auil expose me and himn-lf, I'MJ !

Mrt Drug 0\\ I child, I octit tliouyht it
would hare r.ime (n tliit — ynar shimc worn eni
berc ! it will Ur all over St Jamcs'i puiiah Ufuru
to-innrrmv tnnniins!

Ijidy R«f. W«ll, if it must be so, there's ore
comfort, ihc story will tdl more lo hts d^gnce
ihtm mine.

BRITISH DRAMA.

(Moirar.

2Nil> A* I'm h sinner, and so it will, madam.
Be deiorvcs wliut Uc Ims met with, I Uiiiik.

Jlrf Drtiff. Oitnity, don't ^ou encounisc her
— you ftUiick me to iM-ar rtiii spcnk ftO^I did nut
I tlunk yna linil been to luirdencd.

iMriv Hue, I)ardt;ncd, du you call it i — I bare
Itti'd ill llic world to very little |iurpus«, if such
(filler a» tltcae arc to d)>lurb my re«l.

Mrs Drug. You widsed prl !— Oo you cnll it
k trifle, to be guilty of luUeliixid tci vnur tuiobaud'a
rliL-d?

Ltidy Rac. How!

f THnu ihori, and itarrt at her.

Dun. Tlial ! itml's n iiitTi; InlW, indeed ! — I
have been in at gi>od plitcci as nny bodyi and iiut
a creuture inimU it now, Tm surr.

Mrt Drug. My ludy liackct, my lady Racket,
J never could think to aec jou cuuic to this de*
plomhle »l»amc !

Ijidjf Hue. ^urclv the Ixinc man has not been
\ capable of luyint: any iluni; of tliat Mtrl ta uiy
cbBrne. [AMide.] All this is unaccountable to
oic — ba, ha ! — 'in rirliadrjus bcyim4l nivnsurc !

Dim. That's right, luuiiiuu — Inugh ut it — you
served him right.

Mrt Dnif!. Charlotte ! Cbarluttc ! I'm asto-
nished at your wickt^ncu !

Xai(v iiac. Well, I protest and vow I don't
comprEbcnd nil iliis. lln^ sir Charles occumhI
I |no ttf anv impmprJEty in my conduce?
I Mrt Drufi. l>b ! too true, ite hiu — he ha& found
yoa out; aixi you htive bcliavcd bueiy, be »jr&.

Jjidf/ Ruv. Sliidaui !

Mrt Dnig. Yuu liavc fiilleii into frailly, liki-
\ many others of your sex, hi: iuy^; and be a rcsol-
) red to conic to a scpamtiuii directly.

£d(/y Hoc Why, ihtii, if he is so base a wretch
as ta di^lionour nie in thai tnanncr, bis lieart shail
•che before 1 bve with hun ngain.

Dim. Hold to thiit, madmn, and let his licad
ache into the bargain.

Mrt Drug, Y'oiir poor father beard it as well
as mn.

I^dtf Hue. fhcn let your doore be apcuc<l for
him thiii vt:r\- nit uncut— 'let hiin return to l.A>iKlon
—if he ilocs not, I'll Utck inysclf up, uiid tlie ful»e
one ^liaiVt uppnjnch inc. thouf;h he htaf. on hU
knees at my- Tury door — a bakC, injuhuus man !

\KtU.

Mrt, Drug. Dimity, do )c( ui follow, and hear
whut slie hns to say tor bcr*clf. [Rrit.

Dim. She has excuse enough, 1 warrant her.
Vhnt a nni»e is bcr^ indeefl ! I liavc lived in
puhie families, where tltere was no uiih huktle
made about nothing. [£rii.

£iifer5iR CuARt-a and D»vcct.T.

Sir Cha. Tis in vaio, sir ; my rc»c>Iutioii m ta-
ken.
Drug. Well ; but, consider I aiu bcr father —

indulge me nnly, all we bear what tb* pA hn to
wy in her defence.

Str CAa. She can have nmhinf u> >ay ■ co O'
cuse can palliate such Ijebflriour.

Drufi. Don't be too pouuv« : there aay Ic
sonur nii»take.

Sir Chu. So mi-rtakc— did t not Me bcr, bur
her niyself ?

Drug. Lackaday ! tltcn I am an vnibranaie
inan !

Sir Cha. She will be unfortunate, too— «itb oil
my iieart — 'he may thank hcr^clf-'^ibe
have been happy, luul slic brc;n so ^'*i"tM.

Drug. Why, truly, I think aba mi^

Enter Jilfts Dat-ccx,T.

Mrt Drtif*. I wish you'd mfKlrmle your werr
a little, and let us talk over ihi^ a^r witli txtr-

per my daughter denies everj riale of juc

charge.

^> Cha. Denies it ! denies it !

Mrt Dru£. She doe*. ini)c«d.

Sir Cha. Aod that aggnsvaCea ber fanU.

Mn Dru/i. Slu? rows ytm Dcver fonad her a«
in any thin^; thxt was wroc^

Sir Vim. So ! she dues not alluw it tu be «nc^
llien ? — Madam, I tcU you afj^ain, I luum ber (far
roughly; I .say, I have found her out; aodl^
now au|uaiutcd with her rbar»cter.

Mrt Drag, Then you urc in ii|ipoftiK iiDric»-
hhe swears, my denr Mr Drugget, the f^^orpi
ftwctirs she nt-ver was ^ilty of the HnalieaW
fidelity tu iicr bu.sbntid in her born days.

Sir Char. And what tlieti?— what if afar in
sny so?

ilfri Drug. .\ut\ if she says truly, it i» W
her cluirHctcr ^ould be blotvn upon withQalja*
cause.

Sir Char. And is hIic, therefore, to bchaic'
in other rcspecti i 1 uercr charged bcr mtik 'tr
fidelity to me, madam — there, I allow htt iaw-
cent,

Drtij;. And did vuu Hot charge ber. then?

Sir Char. Xo, SIP ; 1 never dre

ihiiiy.

- dreamt of adii

Drtig. VVhy, liicn, if ahe't innocent, let ■§ n"
you, you're a scaridat<ruft |M-r»nn.

Mrt Vrufi. I'rithce. my drnr

Drii^. Ih- t|utci. TlHJu^h be u a nun of ^
litv. I will icll him of it — did 1 not boe fiirwt*
ri^? Yes, you are u «candaloiu pcnea t« ^
rmne an honcM inuu's daii;i;bter

SirChar. What have yuu taken intojoBrhs^
now ?

Drug. You charged ber with falMbood ta f«v
licd.

Sir Char. No — never — ne«'«r.

Drug. Ihil f say vou did — you aUrinitoil
a cuckold — Did not Ke, wifef

Mrt Drug, Yc9, Urrcy ; Vm witnOL

MirapHY.]

BRITISH DRAMA.

OOln

.Sir Chn. AMurH ! \ snid no such thing.

Urtif. But I iivtr you tliil.

Atri Drtig. Vou Hid indeed, Mr.

Sir Cha. Hilt I tell vou rn^f— po^iuvtlv, no.

Dn/^. and Mrt Drug. And I s«y jta — posi-
tiTcly. vcs.

Sir Chit. *Sdpnth ! this is bII madness !

Dntg. Yuu Miid, she followed the u^js of most
of her 9es.

&> CAfl- 1 said so — and what ihcn ?

Hrwe. There ! he owns ir — owm thrt hcrnllcd
Itimtrtt « i-uckotd— and without rhymt or reason
into ihe hiiri^in !

Sir Cha. I never nwnrd any such thing.

Drug. Vou owiKd it fvtii iKiw — HOW — now —
now !

Eater DtniTT in ojS/ of laughing.

Dim. What do you think it wns all about r —
ho, hn ! The whole eccrut n coim- out— t-n, hn !
It 1WU all about n f^mne of cards — hii, ha *.

Drug. A gainc of c«i-ds !

"Dim. \lMUgkiHgl\ It wuj nil about a riuh and
m dmroood. \Runi out laug/tmg.

Drug. Aud was that oil, wr Charlcsf

.Sir ('.Am. And rnoui^i, ton, ur.

Dru^. And wu that what tou found her out
mt ^

Sir Cha, I ain't bear to be contradictei), when
I'm dear that I'm in the right.

Drvg. I niMT hcnrd 9urh a heap of nonsenfr
in all my life! — WtM)d!fy shall marry Nancv.

Alri Drvg. I)<tn*t he in a burry, my love ; lhi^
i»ill nil be mudc tip.

Dm-;. Why does he not go and beg licr par-
don, tlvcii f

Str Cha. I be; her pnrdoii ! I won't debase
injaelf to any of you— I shan't forptve her, you
-tyn^t nw^Hred. [fUit.

Drag. Now, there— tltere's n pnrttj fellow for
ynn !

JIfr* Drug I'll step, and proniil on mv lady
Jlacket to sptrak to him — then all «ti1l be I'cll.

Drug. A ridiculoui fop ! I'm glad it's no worse,

Eater Nancy.

p, Nnncv, you fcem in confiinon, my sirl f

ffan. How ran OUR help it, with all this noiw
I thr hoiite > and you're going to marry me as
ill A» my Miter- I iiate Mr (.oielace.
]Jr*ig. Why 9ft, my child t
Nan. I know thete iieople of quality despise
■mt* all, o*it i,( pride, anu would be glad to marry
%«ft out ot' avarice.

fyrtig. Thf girl's rijsht.

jVan. Tlii-y many one woman, live wilh ono*
her. and love only themselves.
JJrvg. And tlien fjuarrcl about n card I
Vol. m.

Nan. I don't want to br a gay laily; 1 wane
to tte Ituppv.

Dmc. And so you ^lJl^ll— don't friiihi your-
»elf, child; step to vonr-iistcr; hid bcr ntake bcr-
MlfciLiiy — iit, and comfort her, ga

Kan. Yes, sir. fKri/.J

Drug. 111 ticp, and Kttle the matter wilh Mn
Woodtcy this inument. [ Erit,]

Enter 9ra CBiai.E<s m'/A a pack of cmntB i'k Am

haatt

Sir Cha. Never was any thinp like her lichnvi-
our — I can jiick out the very card* 1 luut m my
hand, itod tht-n 'tis as plain as the sun — thtrr, ima
— there— no— damn It — no— there it wat — iww,J
lr-i'» -.ce — thry had four by hocKmra — and
played for tlie odd trick— diimnation !— tumourtj
were divided— ay ! — h(rtwur» were divtded— a
ilR>n a trump was led — and ilic other side IhuI I
— Confusion [ — tins preposterous woman has put
it all out of my bead. [Put$ the eurtU intu hta
porkct.] Mighty well, tuadam; I hove dune with
yno.

Za(er Mas n«ror-ET.

Mr$ Drug. Come, sir Charlen. let me prevail
— Come with \nr, and «pmk to her.

Sir Cha. I don't d***ire to "ce tar fiicc. •"

3fr» Drug. If you ifctc to see her all bathed
ill tenrs, I am sure it would melt V'nr %rrv heart.

Sir Cha. Madam, it ahidl be my fauli, if ever [
am treated so again — 111 have nnlhtns to anv (6
Ikt, [Going, ifiyii.] Docs fthc i:nD u|t dK.- |foiiitf

Mrt Drug. She docs; ".he iiftrr^s m any lliinQ. ,

■Sir Cha. l3oe9 ^o allow, that ilie club was llie
plav?

Mrt Drug. Just as you pl«Ma ; she'a all lul^
mission.

Sir Cha. Does she own, that tlie dub was not
tlic bckt ill the houK* *

Afrr Drug. .She ditei — ulie dues.

Sir Cha. 'Hien 1*11 step and spetdc to her— 1
never «as clearer in any lliiuc in mv li'V. [Urit.

Mrt Drug. Lord love lliem! tlietit ni^kc it
UP now; and tliai thev*ll be aa kappv as ever.

[Rrit.

Enter Navct.

Kan. Well * they maT talk what tbey will of
taiti' and e*""**^' hf'^ — i don't think il» n»lumL
Give me Mr WrMHllcy — Iji ! tlicrc's that odiuua
iliiitg oumui}! ihii way !

£«*fTLovi:i.»ct.

IjrM. My charmine little innocent, I have iiot
teen vo'i these thrrr hours. •

Nan. I hare been very bafifiy these threw bburai

t$02

BRITISH DRAMA.

[MCKPHT.

X0C«. Mt swept an£Cl ! you seem di«cjnc.-rt- ;
cd — and tou nt^[tc* v'>ur preitT ha<ir« ! Nu ]
tnactcr fur Uie present ; in a litue Uit:^ I »)iiil :
nftkr TOO appeiir u ^racet'ui and gentcct a» yuur |
■su-r. I

JSi'an. That is not what ciaplojs my tlhjught«,
W-

LoTt. At; but, my pretty little dear, tliat
ihoutd en^gc your attcnlKjn — tn set off and adum
tbe diaruik ihat nature has given yon, should be
the bu^incsfe ii( your life.

San. Ah ! I^it 1 have learnt a new sone, that
contnulicn whit you uy ; aiid, ttioogh 1 aiu not
in a very good bamour fur singing, yet yoa shall
hear it.

Lore. By all means'-don't check your fancy —
T«fii all attention.

Aian. It cxpreucfl my •«ntiments ; and, when
you hare beard them, yr>u won't teazc me any
won.

SONG.

To dance, and tn drcsv and to flaunt it about.
To run to park, p'^v, to a^semltly ami rout.
To wa[ider for ever in whim's giddy maze.
And one poor hair torture a million of ways !
To put, at the glas&, every feature to M:hoo!,
And practise their art on each fop aud each fuol.
Of one thing to think, and another to tell —
These, these are the utaDricr» of each giddy belle !

To sraile, and to simper, white teeth to display ;
The time, in gay follii-ii, to triHe away ;
Against every rirtuc the bosom to steel.
And only of dress the aniiuties feel ;
To \te at Eve's ear the insidious decoy.
The pleasure nf'cr taste, yet the mischief enjoy ;
To boaiit of wift raptures rlity never can know —
These, these arc the msmners v( each giddy beau !

[Eiii.

Love. 1 must have her, notwithstanding this ;
for though I'm not in lote, yet I'm id debL

Kntcr Dnur.CET.

Drtift. So ! Mr I/Hflacc, Any news from
abtivc htnirfc? Is tiii't alisurd ijuarrtl ut an end?
Have they made it up ?

Lace. Oh ! n mere hatatcllc, sir — ihe^c little
fracas among the hettersort of people never laftt
loi^ — elegant trifles cause elegiuit disputes, and
we come t<»RCtlier clrjtantly n^nin, as you ftee ;
for here they come, in perfect good humour.

£nfer Sir Chahles aniJ Lady Racket.

Sir Cha. Mr Drugeet, I embrace ynu ; sir, you
see nie now iu the most perfect harmony of spi-
hts.

Drug. What, all rccunulcd offua i

Ijii-i Rac. Ail made ap. sir; I knew bow to
brm£ him t» my l'-;re. Y'lm is the iim dilfer-
erciiCe, I thin's.. -."t.- e»cr had. s;r i. iiiirle-s ?

Str Cha. Aud Til be i^oni it shi;i t.e tbe last.
Drug. I am happy at last ! sir C harJrs, i can
spare you an ima^^e to put oo tlie top of voor
huu^ in L/.-iwl'^n.

Sir Cha, lutinitely ol.!ieed to Toa !

Drug. Weil, well! Its time to retire now; I

am eliil to ««,-.■ yoii reconciled ; and now, I'd Kish

you a L'uud :ii^!it, sir Charles — Mr Lovelace, tlus

is jour wiiy. Tare ye wlII both ; 1 aia glad your

quarrels are at .in vnd. llii? wav, Mr LoTelace.

[£xnfa/ Lovelace «ai< DarcGET.

Lad^ Rac. Ah ! you're a ud man, sir CharieSf

to behaTc to me as you hare done !

.Sir C'Ao. ^ly dear, I sraot it ; atid such an
absurd quarreC too— ha, ha !

Ijidjf Hoc. Ves — ha, ha ! ahoaC such a trifle !
Sir Cha, Its pleasaut how we could U>th fall
iikto such an error — ha, ha !

i-arfv Rac. Ridiculous beyond expression !—
ha, ha !

Str Clia. AikJ then the mistake yoar father
and mother fell into — ha, ha !

Ladi/ Rac. That, too, is a diverting part of
tlie story — ha, ha ! But, sir Cliarles, naast I star
and live with my father till I grow as fantastical
as his own cver-greens?

Sir Cha. No, no; prithee don't remind me of
my folly.

J^dv Rcc. Ah ! my relations were all stand-
ine behind counters selling White^h;^lel needles,
while your family were spending greait estates !
Sir Cha. Nav, nay, spare ray blushes.
Ladi/ Rnc. How could you say so hanh a
thing i I don't toTe you !

Sir Cha. It was indelicate, I ^rant it.
Ludif Rac. Am 1 a vile woman ?
Sir Cha. How can you, my angel F
Ladif Rac. I shan't furpve vou ! — 111 liare
yuu on vour knees for this! [Sin gt and pla^t
uUh him^ * Go, naughty man.' Ah ! eirChnrtJs.
Sir Cha. The rest of my life shall aim at con-
vincing you how sincerely I love

Lad^ Rac. [NiV^j.] * Go, naughty man, I can't
ahide you.' Well ! come let us go to rest,
[Goingl] Ah! sir Charles — now it is all wcr,
the diamond was the play.

Sir Cha. Uh ! no^ nu, no, my dear — Ita, ha,
ha ! — it was the club indeed.

Lad}/ Rac. Indeed, my lore, you're mj^nt^n-

Sir Cha. No'! nu, no, no !

Lridy Rac. But I lay, yea, yes, yes !

[Boih laHghiag.
Sir Cha. Pshaw! no snch tliii^ — ha, ha!
Lndff Jiffc.'Tis so, indeed — ha, ha !
■Vi> Cha. No, no, do — you'll make me die with
laughing.

Ladu Rac. Ay, and jou make me laugh too—
ha, bal

MonrHY.]

LFoat. Your
SErCAa. A
fe, ukc tlM

BUITISU DUAMA.

Enter Footwav.

I

Fodt. Yuur lw>iKjur*» cap ami ttippcrf,
fitr C'Ao. Av, luv down tiiv nit:lt'.-cup: ami
ukc tlM'*c shoe* oftl [lie faAv< thetn off",
tmd Uavei them at a dl\tancr.] Itidccd tuj laav
Racket, you laniie ihl- nuiiiy to rx|^<irti tvilli
laui;l>i»il — iut« 1^1 !

Zti/y Riw. Yuu lunjr laugh; but I'm right
noiwithttnrKJiitc.
Sir Cha. How can jfou mj m?
I^iiv Ka>\ How can you «ay otlierwiac?
Str Vka. Well, non mind mc, my Indv Rucket ;
«c cnii nnw tulk ut' this nuittcr id fpoti liiiniuttr.

We c«n iliscuss it coolly

Latltf Rue. So ne coii, and its for that rciunn
I veniiire to »penk to you ; an ibcte ihi ruffles
I bouKiit for vou ?

Ar Chn. Tlicv ore, my dear.
Jja<lif liac. TKey ni-c i ery pretty ; but inilccd
you plnypil llio card wruiig.

Sir ( '/Iff. Plio, ilicre t> nuiliiog lo clear— if you
will but hc^r mc— nnly licar me.

Luilv Roc. Ah ! but ihi yuu hear tnc— ibc
ehing ""»* tli'i* — the mhonury'i dab biiiig the

best ill the house

Sir Ciia. How can you tnlU m !

[tiuimwkui pcevUk.
Lailif Rac. See iliere oow——

Sir CAu. Listen To tnc; ihiswivs the nflfnir

Ztft/v Itoc. P^huw ! hddle&lu-k ! heur me tirst.
Sir CAa. Pho ! no, doinii it, let inc apeak.
iMdi/ Rac. Well, to be hurc, you're a strange
man.

Sir Cha. Plai:ne and torture ! there i» no such
ihiiif MS convening; with you.

J>jv/v Rai\ Very oell, nir ! (It out ai^in.

Sir C'Am. I>K)k hew now ; here's a pock of

card*^ — now you kliall bemiivim'i'd

Latlv Rer. You ujfty talk till to-morrow ; I
know I'm ni-ht.

{U'dlkf alfout.
Sir C/ia. Why, ihcu, by nil ihtitV jwn itm', you
•re the most beadsiruuc— Cnu't you loi^ hen
DOW— Jicre arc the very cards.

/oi/v liac. Go on; you'll 6nd it out at Inst
Sir Cha, D^iixn it ! will yiiu Ut n man shew
von? Tho I its aJl itnitx'iisc ! 1*1) tut k no more
about It [Put$ up Ike rardt] Cuiiic, ^*c*ll i:n In
bed. [CitJAff.l Now only >tay n uiuioi'iit. [Takrs
#Mf lAr (-(irA.j \ow. mind m'; ve here

Zxiie/y R/ic. Xo, It d<it"t It'll «ieiiit'y ; your head
vritl t>e rle»rcr m the tnuruim» — I'll go lo beit.
Sir Clia. -Slav a moment, cau't ye.
LM^y Rac. No — oiy head begins to arhr'

\Ai(rft,dli,.
Sir Chit. Why, thni^ damn the ami* ! — dirre,
then-! [Thiwinf; thr raid% abuul.] Aod ilu ic,
antl there — You twiy
confusion «cixu me
Mtdiyuu !

[Puttian OH his thoci iigain.

Enter DllllTT.

.y CO to In-*! Uy yourjtlf; and
if I live a lootncnt lunger

Dif, Do you call, kir ?

Sir Cha, No, ne^'fcf, mudnm,

Uiw. {Ih a fit of liia^hiifi.] What, at it again !

iMiiy Rac. Take v<"ir owu way, ^ir.

Str Cha. Now, then, 1 te!l yuu nnm inore,
yuu are a lilc wun»m !

Diia. La, sir ! — 'I'lii* is channing — I'll nin and
tejl the old cnupte. [£xi7.

•Sir CtiQ. [SttU putting on Au lAnfi.] Vou are
iIk m'l^t petvcrv:, obotiuate, ni >ii»cniical —

J-fidif Rue, 1 In, ba ! duii'c timke me latif h
again, sir C'lmrie*.

Sir Chii. Hell and ihc deid !— Will you M
down ((uictly, and let inc convince ymif

Ijidy Rac, I don't chusc to bear any inctra
about iL

Sir Cbii. Why then I believe you nre pot*
»e-*«ed — it ia in vain to talk scuk riwI reason to
you.

Ladi/ Rac. TlutiiV vou fur ^ur compliment,
sir — »uch a iimii ( Wifn a tatrnng bn^A.] I never
kiH->v the like — [Si/i //.i/ru.J

Sir Chii. 1 pro'Ui&e you, you shall repent of
this ucisc, beturc vou Iwvc a moment of my
cijiu|>any »suiit — it »tuut*t be in a burrv. von inaf
d(.'pend, umdnin — \ow, ^cc hcie — I mn pme it
l» a dc'Quustrniion ]Sitt down hj/ hrr^ the gr.tt
up,^ Look ye there auaiii, now — you ha\e the
oio&C penerM: nod )M.-evK»lt temper — I wish I bad
never sffii yojr fiice — I *»i*h 1 wn» n lltouMind
miles from yoU'Sit down but oik monieni.

Lad^ Rac. I'm disptiicd to walk ubont, sir.

Sir Cka. Why (hen. niny 1 pcrisli, if c*'er^— •
block ltc«fi—«n idiot I was to marry [IVa/kt
oAouf.J such n provokiuft — iinperlinent — [SHr
tilt doten.\ Dumnation ! — I am v> clear in the
thins — "-Im.* iFt not «i»rth ray natter — SSUt dovn,
turn* Ail hnek, and Ahi^'i vtrraiy.] I II lake no
more pnin^ ah'>in it. — \Pauirs Jor mme limr,
thrn /<»/.-» «f Arr.] 1» it not very strange, that you
won't hear mc f

JLn'/w Raf. Sir, I nm very rcndy in liearyoa.

Sir L'hu. Very well then— ^-ery well— iny dear
—you mticmhcr how tlie game j>tood ?

L<j./v Rac. 1 wihh you'd untie my DccLhice; U
hurt-i inr.

Sir Cha. Why raii'l you lislrnf

Lndy liac. I li'll yuu it hurt« lue ternblv.

Sir Cfia. Oealh and coDfusiou ! there is no

liearins* thi« vou mnv be a^ wnuqt at you

plei»*« : nod mav 1 ii«m cr hold four hv hnnoun^ if
t ever endeavour to set vou ii^Ut 0^0111.

[Brit.

Entrr .Mil airj .Ma* r>ni-iii;CT, Woodlct^
IjOVjilaci:, and Naxc r.

Drufi. Wbnt'» Iwrr to do now ?

Jji'/if Rae. Nrtcr wu« such a tuan bam r

did not *ay nmotd tu tlie geiiticmtin—- wul yet

604

BRITISH DRAMA.

[MOBPHT.

he has been raving about the room like a mud-
man.

Drug. And about a club a^in, I suppose? —
Coiiin bittier, Nancy ; Mr Woodley, !>hc is ^uur's
tar life.

Jl/n Dnig. My Hear, bow can you be so —

Driiff. It i>hall be so— take licr for life, Mr
WwKlU-y.

Wood. My whole life shall be devoted to licr
liappintJM.

Lirtc, The devil ! and so I nm to be left in
the lurch ill thit) manner, am I?

T-^dtf Jtuc. Oh ! this is only one of those po-
lite ditiputts which people of quality, who have
nothini; ets<> to differ about, must ainays be
liable to — 'ITiis will all l»e made up.

Drug. Never tell me — it's toolatr! now — Mr
Wooriley, I rccoinaicnd my girl to your care — I
thall have nothing now to think of, but niv greens,

and my ima^res, and my shrubbery thon^h,

mercy on all married folks, say 1 ! for these
wraufzlings are, I am afraid, what wc must all
come to.

Lady llACtir.Tf coming fnnrard.

What we must all come to.> What? — Come to

what?
Must broils and quarrels be the marriage lot?
If that's the wise, deep mcanin;: of our pnet.
The man's a fool ! a blockhead ! and I'll shew it.

Wtiat could induce him in an age so nice,
So famed for virtue, so rc6ncd from vice.
To form a plan so trivial, false and low i
Ai if a belle could quarrel with a beau :

As if there were— in these thrice h^ipy days.
One who from nahirc, or from reason strmfs !
There's no cross husband now; no wrang^in*

ivlfe—
The man is downright ignorant of life.
Tis tlic niillenuium thi»^ — devoid of guile,
Fair gentle Truth, and white robed Candoar,

smile.
From every breast the sordid love of gold
Is bunibheti quite — no boroughs now are sold !
l*ray ttll me, sirs — C"'" 1 don't know I vow,)
Prfty— is tlierr such a thing as gamini^ now?
Do peers muke laws against the giant vice ?
Alia then at Arthur's break them in a trice P
No — no— our livcK are virtuoas all, austere and

hard;
Pray, ladles— do you e%er see a card ?
ThoKj empty Imxcs slicw you don't love plays;
The m;i;iaiiers p"<>r souls' ! gel nothing iiow-a-

days.
If here you come— by chance, but once a we^
The pil <-aii witness that you never speak :
Pcnsivd Attention sirs wiih decent mien ;
No paint, no naked shoulders, to be seen !

And yet this (n"avc, this moral, pious age.
May Iciirn (nic usei'iil lesson from the sta^e.
Shun strife, yr fair, and once a contest o'er.
Wake to a bl:i/.e the dying flame no more—
From fierce (IcIkiTc fly all the tender loves ;
And \'enus, cries, ' Coachman, put to my doves.'
The pcnial bod no blooming (>race prepares,
' And every day becomes a day of cares.*

[RToint I

TUB £>U.

.♦

f

4 ¥

•