HE CHINESE BOOK
OF ETIQUETTE AND CONDUCT
FOR WOMEN AND GIRLS ENTITLED
instruction for Chinese
Women anb <5irls
By
LADY TSAO
Translated from the Chinese by
MRS. S. L. BALDWIN
NEW YORK: . EATON & MAINS
CINCINNATI: . JENNINGS & PYE
3>- "pi:
STACK
f. OF CALIF. LIBRARY, LOS AMIUf ANNEX
^
3007
CONTENTS
CHAPTER I.
On the Cultivation of Virtue.
CHAPTER II.
Woman's Work. Weaving Silk, etc.
CHAPTER III.
On Politeness.
CHAPTER IV.
On Early Rising.
CHAPTER V.
On Reverence for Parents.
CHAPTER VI.
On the Reverence Due Father and Mother-in-law.
CHAPTER VII.
On Reverencing the Husband.
CHAPTER VIII.
On the Instruction of Children.
CHAPTER IX.
On Attention to Domestic Duties.
CHAPTER X.
On the Treatment of Guests.
CHAPTER XI.
On Gentleness and Harmony.
CHAPTER XII.
On the Cultivation of Virtue.
ILLUSTRATIONS
FACING
CHAPTER
I. Chinese Lady Shielding Face with Fan.
II. Gathering Chia Leaves for Cocoons.
III. Serving Afternoon Tea.
IV. Arranging Dining Room Table.
V. Praying for Sick Parent before Ancestral Tablets.
VI. Making the Bed for Mother-in-law.
VII. Drinking Wine Together in Marriage Ceremony.
VIII. Garden Scene.
IX. Kitchen and Preparing Food.
X. Morning Salutation to Male Guest.
XL Neighbors Visiting.
XII. Chinese Grave.
PREFACE
&
FEW people in the West have any in-
telligent conception of the remark-
able civilization that has existed in China
for hundreds of years, and this in strange
contrast with her squalor, poverty, and
heathenism.
How little is known, save by a very
few, of her reverence for parents, age,
letters, and law ; of her teachers, schools,
colleges, literary chancellors and degrees ;
and that it is true in that great empire
that the humblest may rise to be second
only to the emperor if he has the ability.
A literary aristocracy leads all others ;
indeed, leaves no place for any other, and
it is far more to have a literary degree
than to be a millionaire. " Twice six
hundred years has China's famed Hanlin
Academy existed and been the Mecca of
her aspiring scholars." Of what other
countries can we find reliable dynastic
histories of thousands of years, books on
morals and etiquette, visiting cards, en-
velopes, tinted and decorated note paper,
the very tint of the paper conveying sen-
timents of regard, and these not modern
luxuries, but ancient, and in common use
when our ancestors were such gross bar-
barians as no record proves the Chinese
to have ever been ? The better I know
this wonderful people, and the more I
study their history, the greater my aston-
ishment that such a civilization can exist
parallel with such degradation and super-
stition of the masses.
This is doubtless due to the exception-
ally wise and good men they have had as
teachers, notably Confucius and Mencius,
whose instructions concerning all the re-
lations of man to man are known and
quoted from the highest down to the
poorest classes.
I soon discovered that in our great
city of Foochow, in southern China, there
was actually a circulating library. I think
it is safe to say that such an institution
could not be duplicated in any other
heathen nation. I made haste through
my native teacher to rent one of its
most famous novels, in twelve booklets.
I planned to translate it, with intent thus
to become more familiar with the life and
thought of the people and to compare
their standards of life with our own. I
was most interested to find the plan of
the story very similar to those of our
own writers. There were the same ideals
for hero and heroine : lojjty_yirlue j __un^
failing heroism, patient suffering, and self-
sacrifice for " dear love's sake," on one
side ; and the most wicked selfishness,
cunning, and scheming in the ever-pres-
ent marplot. The hero was of high liter-
ary connections, himself distinguished for
learning, honor, and bravery, the very
idol and hope of his family. The heroine
was a beautiful, refined young girl, also
fi-
of literary family whom dire fortune had
brought very low ; and she as a last resort
was ready to prove her filial affection the
central virtue of the Chinese by con-
senting to be sold as a slave to save her
father from imprisonment for debt by the
vile man who wanted her. She abhorred
this man, but seeing no other way to save
her father was willing to sacrifice herself.
The whole story was skillfully planned,
beautifully worded, and intensely inter-
esting. But alas ! I never found time to
complete the translation, and my last
effort left my beautiful heroine in a per-
fect tangle of wicked schemes, while her
deliverer, the hero, was at the bottom of
a river in the care of a good goddess ! I
was comforted, however, by the assurance
of my native teacher that our hero came
up all right, and just at the very critical
moment, demolished all the schemes of the
wicked one, delivered the lovely heroine
and her aged father, and, best of all, this
story of the Orient ended in the same
[I
entrancing manner as those of the West,
with marriage bells nay, firecrackers in-
numerable and joy all around !
While forced to give up the completion
of this famous Chinese work, the very
name of which has slipped my memory, I
did complete with even greater interest
the translation of a far more famous work,
the standard and universally prized book
of Instructions for Women and Girts, said
to be the first book of etiquette ever pub-
lished, in whichwe find that this great
people do not at all meet the popular
conception of utterly degraded heathenr
They have local books of etiquette printed
in different dialects, of which there are
about forty, but this standard work is in
the classical or book language, and out-
ranks all others, as well it may, for it in-
cludes far more than even the Western
books of etiquette in its careful moral
code.
China is certainly in advance of every
other heathen nation, in that her wise
men and women have ever lifted up
a pure and good standard of life before
the people. Confucius gave them the
second table of the law man's duty to
man ; but alas ! knowing not the first
man's duty to God, and living many
years before the revelation of Christ the
Saviour, Exemplar, and Helper, neither
Confucius nor his people could measure
up to their own lofty standards.
I was often amused at my native as-
sistant in the translation of this book. He
had much national pride, great admiration
for their ancient literary characters, and
the most profound respect for the author
of this book and her instructions. He
was a first degree literary man, and withal
an earnest and intelligent Christian, and
manifested more satisfaction with West-
ern ideas than any native I knew, but
woman's seclusion, duty to obey, etc.,
he thoroughly approved, and regarded
us Westerners as entirely too lax in these
respects. So as the translation proceeded
3~a- "-". "ft :^""ft" -' "sr~ >v "' ->r >Y
he would throw in remarks expressing
his satisfaction at this or that, and at
times even showing how this agreed with
the Scriptures. Thus when it speaks of
woman's duty to obey her husband and
" listen with reverence to his words," he
remarked with emphasis, "Just as Polo
[Paul] taught, you see." I smiled and
said nothing, but waited my opportunity
to show him how far short they all came
either of Paul's or his admired author's
teachings, and the good chance came
when the " instructions " spoke of hus-
band and wife "sharing either riches or
poverty." I said : " All this is very good
in theory, but I do not see that your peo-
ple practice it. So far from sharing pov-
erty, you know how it is. If there are
not enough vegetables and rice for all the
family, the wife serves the husband with
all he wants, then gives to the children,
and too often all that is left for her is the
water in which the vegetables were
cooked. Paul says, ' The strong should
II
bear the burdens of the weak.' Women
are weak. Your author says, ' share pov-
erty,' but I do not see that your people
follow either the teaching of the one or
the instructions of the other." He ac-
knowledged the truth of this and that
" there was still something lacking," but
ever remained immovable in his conserv-
atism on the " woman question."
In this translation the Chinese idiom
has been retained as far as consistent
with clearness of meaning.
The binding of the book is in conform-
ity to Chinese thought. Bright scarlet is
their joyful color worn by the bride
the color of their visiting cards, and con-
spicuous in their wall decorations in tem-
ples and homes, and on all joyful occa-
sions. The beautiful bamboo, which
decorates the cover of the book and out-
lines the leaves, is also specially prized, and
symbolizes peace ; the birds in the bam-
boo, messengers ; and we thus have the
thought, messengers of peace, in harmony
with the teaching of the book. Each
illustration represents an important cus-
tom referred to in the chapter. These
pictures and the design upon the cover
were all made by a skilled Chinese
artist, Mr. Pang Sun Yow, who has for
years been a faithful member of one of
the churches of Brooklyn.
BRIEF SKETCH OF THE AUTHORESS
tANG TAI KU was a
brated literary woman who lived in
the Han dynasty about eighteen hunp"
dred and twenty years ago. Her father
was a high official at the capital, then
the city of Si-ngan, in the province of
Shen-si. Pang Tai Ku was betrothed
to a man of the Tsao family named Sin.
Tsao Sin attained the highest literary
degree, but, alas ! died early, leaving
Pang Tai Ku a lonely widow. Her elder
brother, Pang Ku, was the president of
the great Hanlin College, the first college
of the empire and the only college to
give the highest degree. He had com-
menced writing the history of the Han
dynasty, but before he had completed
the half he became totally blind. The
-. . ft.
emperor asked him who could complete
the work. Pang Ku replied, " Under the
whole heavens there is but one person
who can do it my younger sister, Tsao
Tai Ku " (her name after marriage). At
this time she was still in seclusion and
mourning for her husband, although sev-
eral years had passed since his death.
The emperor sent her many valuable
presents, invited her to come to the court,
and built her a palace within the im-
perial grounds, but so humble was she
that she attributed all of these honors
to the emperor's regard for her brother.
Pang Ku. She completed the history
of the Han dynasty, and did it so well
that no one could tell where her brother
stopped and she began. The emperor
was greatly pleased with her work and
treated her with the highest respect and
honor. He commanded all the ladies of
the palace to do her reverence and to
call her " Instructor of Women." He
also requested her to teach these ladies.
It was at this time that she prepared
her discourses or Instructions to Women
and Girls, known and so highly esteemed
throughout the empire as the most thor-
ough and perfect rules ever prepared for
a woman's conduct.
INTRODUCTION
j*
TAI KU, your handmaid, is of an il-
^ f " '" '" I" ' ! - - i,,
lustrious family, and was a philoso-
pher'sTwife. I have tried to perfect myself
iirthlf lour~womanly virtues, which are :
first, carefulness in deportment, which in-
cludes manners, dress, and all outward
conduct; second>3\\ womanly duties; third,
talking little, and that of profit ; fourth, to
be virtuous. Having but few duties, I
made books a study. I also earnestly
tried to follow the example of the " nine
upright women " and " three chaste ones "
(ancient Chinese women distinguished for
their virtues). It is lamentable that suc-
ceeding women have not walked in their
footsteps. Because of this I have pre-
pared this book, and desire it to be care-
fully handed down for the benefit of girls
and women.
I
Chinese Lady Shielding Face with Fan.
CHAPTER I
On the Cultivation of Virtue
All girls, everywhere,
First should learn to cultivate virtue.
Of cultivating virtue's methods,
The most important is
To be pure and upright in morals ;
If pure, you are clean inside and outside;
Chastity is your body's glory;
Having it, all your acts shine.
When walking, look straight, turn not
your head ;
Talking, restrain your voice within your
teeth ;
Sitting, don't shake your knees a com-
mon fault with men ;
Standing, keep quiet your skirts ;
When pleased, laugh not aloud ;
If angry, still make no noise ;
Inner and outer rooms' (women's and
men's) duties
Fully understand.
Boys and girls must not together be.
With outside business you have no con-
cern ;
Therefore, go not beyond the court.
If necessary outside to go,
Exhibit not your form,
But screen your face with fan or veil.
To men who are not with you related
you may not speak.
With women and girls of not careful con-
duct you may not associate.
Following virtue, decorum, and upright-
ness, you so accomplish the end of
your being.
Gathering Chia Leaves for Cocoons.
CHAPTER II
Woman's Work. Weaving Silk, etc.
All girls, everywhere,
Should learn woman's work.
In weaving cloth,
Distinguish between the coarse and fine ;
When sitting at the loom work carefully ;
When boiling the silk cocoons,
Collecting for them the mulberry and
chia leaves,
In all be very diligent.
Protect the worms from wind and rain.
If cold, warm them by the fire ;
Keep them in a clean place ;
As the young ones grow,
Transfer them to baskets, but crowd
them not ;
Provide them leaves, not too many nor
too few.
Making silk, be careful of the straight and
cross threads, so you will make a
perfect piece.
When finished remove the gauze at once
from the loom.
Cotton cloth fold and lay in boxes or
baskets.
Silk, cotton, and the two kinds of grass
cloth,
All learn perfectly to make,
Then you can sell to others,
And yourself have clothing to wear.
Using the Needle
To embroider shoes, stitch stockings,
Mend clothes, and unite cloth,
Trim and quilt garments,
All such work should you be able to do.
If you follow these instructions,
Whether it be cold or warm,
You will have suitable clothing,
And rags and poverty you will not know.
Do not imitate lazy women
Who from youth to womanhood have
been stupid ;
Not having exerted themselves in wom-
an's work,
cz.cc
They are prepared for neither cold nor
warm weather.
Their sewing is so miserable,
People both laugh at and despise them.
The idle girl, going forth to be married,
Injures the reputation of her husband's
whole family.
Her clothes are ragged and dirty.
She vainly pulls the west over to cover the
east. \_Note: A sly pull to hide a
rent.]
She is a disgrace to her village.
I thus exhort and warn the girls,
Let them hear and learn.
D
CHAPTER in
On Politeness
All girls, everywhere,
Should learn woman's work.
When women guests are expected,
You should the chairs arrange in order.
Let your own dress be neat and suitable.
Slowly and lightly walk ;
Move not your hands about ;
And let your voice be gentle and low.
With such deportment
Invite your guests to enter:
Present your salutations,
Inquiring after their welfare since last you
met.
In conversation with them,
Talk not at random.
When they questions ask, or answer,
Give most polite attention.
In asking of their welfare,
<i
Or talking of yourself, in a low voice
speak ;
The tea and refreshments carefully pre-
pare. \Note: " Afternoon teas " evi-
dently are not modern.]
Politely receive guests,
And exhaust courtesy when they depart
Do not imitate those
Who only regard themselves,
And show no respect to others.
Such receive few guests,
Because they know not politeness.
As a guest, demand nothing ;
As a hostess, exhaust hospitality.
When you go to a friend's house
Be not eager to receive attentions.
Having exchanged greetings and taken
tea,
Immediately your business then make
known,
This finished, at once rise to go,
Observing all courtesy in departing.
If the hostess prevails upon you to longer
stay,
3t:
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/_*
And a feast for you prepares,
Remember the wine to only raise to your
lips.
Your chopsticks, place not on the table
crossed,
But use them with propriety and grace.
The refilling your cup with wine steadily
refuse.
Follow not your desires, just to eat, eat !
Imitate not those rude women
Who with confusion eat, drink, and talk ;
Drinking wine until crazy,
They shamefully vomit their food ;
In this state going home,
Before reaching their house,
Many shameful, rude acts will they do.
\Note: The evils of wine drinking
were recognized eighteen hundred
and twenty years ago !]
Outside of your house you should seldom
go,
Nor into the street for pleasure.
If persons unknown you meet,
Your head and eyes quickly lower.
Do not imitate stupid women
Who gad about from house to house.
These speak many idle words,
And cause others evil to speak of them.
Such may not escape reproof.
Their families by them are injured,
Their parents greatly dishonored.
Still another class imitate not
Those whose deeds are so evil
That they are shameful, fearful,
And disreputable !
::. :
Arranging Dining Room Table.
CHAPTER IV
On Early Rising
All girls, everywhere,
Listen to the following :
Before the sun has fully risen,
At the cock's crowing time
Arise, and dress yourself with care.
Dress neatly, not showily.
Comb your hair and wash your face ;
Then at once to the kitchen go ;
Of the fire be very careful.
See that the kitchen is clean,
And all the cooking utensils.
Your food in quantity and quality,
Prepare very carefully,
According to the poverty or riches of
your family.
In seasoning food,
Observe careful rules.
Be not careless as to whether the food
Shall be sweet, fresh, and fragrant.
Let the cups and plates be clean,
And arranged in order on the table.
Let the three meals be regular,
And properly prepared.
At daylight rising,
Delay not upon the day's work to enter.
Lazy women do not imitate ;
They are too idle even to think.
When dark, they go to sleep,
And when the sun is three feet high,
They still are in their beds.
When they rise, it is already late ;
But for this they know not shame.
They hasten to the kitchen,
With hair uncombed and face unwashed.
The tea and rice by them prepared
Is scarcely fit to eat,
And all they do is withhaste and confusion.
Another class there is you must not imitate.
They think of nothing but eating ;
Before the food is fully prepared,
Before their husbands have eaten,
They are eating, here a little, there a little.
Surely this is very disgraceful !
Of such conduct beware.
-- ' "
I
Praylng for Sick Parent before Ancestral Tablets.
CHAPTER V
On Reverence for Parents
Girls not yet gone out from their homes
[not married]
Must carefully reverence their parents ;
Early rise, and to them
The morning salutations present.
If cold, build a fire to warm them ;
If warm, use the fan to cool them ;
If they are hungry, hasten to supply them
food;
If thirsty, prepare for them the tea.
If your parents rebuke you,
Receive it not impatiently,
But, standing in their presence,
Hear with reverence and obedient heart,
And repent of and forsake the wrong.
The words of your parents,
Regard as beyond all others important ;
Obey their instructions ;
Turn not away your head,
Jk
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And be not stiff-necked.
If you do wrong, confess to your parents,
Requesting instruction and reproof.
When your parents become old,
Morning and night be sorrowful and fear-
ful ;
Their clothes, food, and drink,
With the utmost care provide,
Observing the demands
Of the four seasons in your care for them.
If your parents are sick,
Leave not their bedside,
Loosen not your girdle to lie down ;
The tea and the medicine,
Yourself first taste
To be sure that it is just right.
Cease not to cry unto heaven,
Or to pray in the ancestral temple,
That they may be restored.
Never let it be said
That your parents died
For lack of attention from you.
When they die
Your very bones should grieve,
> -i f
TC*
And to your life's end cease not to mourn.
Griefs clothing, for your parents,
Three years you must wear ;
The sacrificial offering to them,
You must never cease to make.
Thus should you honor your ancestors.
Making the Bed for Mother-in-law.
IF
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:
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CHAPTER VI
On the Reverence Due Father and Mother-
in-law
Father and mother-in-law
Are your husband's family.
When you arrive at their threshold
You become a new woman ;
Reverence and serve them
As your own parents.
Honor greatly your father-in-law;
Before him, let neither gladness nor sorrow
Show forth in your face.
Dare not even to walk behind him ;
Stand not before him when you speak,
But to one side or behind him,
And hasten his every command to obey.
When your mother-in-law sits
You should respectfully stand ;
Obey quickly her commands.
In the morning early rise
And quietly open the doors,
Making no noise to waken her ;
Her toilet articles hasten to prepare;
Her washbowl and towel,
Her toothbrush and powder
All bring together.
[Note: Eighteen hundred and twenty
years ago toothbrushes in China !]
Let not the water be too cold or too hot,
When the mother-in-law wakens,
All these things respectfully present tc
her,
Then immediately retire to one side,
Until her toilet is completed.
Then approach and present the morning
salutations ;
Again retire and prepare her tea.
Quickly and cheerfully carry it to her ;
After which the breakfast table arrange ;
Place the spoons and chopsticks straight.
The rice cook soft, and
Let the meat be thoroughly done.
From ancient days until now,
Old people have had sick teeth ;
Therefore, let not the food be so dry
Li
That your mother-in-law
With labor vainly eats.
Daily the three meals
Thus carefully prepare.
When darkness comes,
And your great one [mother-in-law] de-
sires to sleep,
Carefully for her spread the bed,
When she may peacefully rest,
And you may retire to your room.
Following these instructions,
All your superiors will praise you,
All that know you will esteem you as
good.
Do not imitate that other class
Who care not for woman's duties.
Loudly they talk before their superiors ;
When told to do anything,
They ever answer, " My body is tired,"
When truly they are only lazy.
They obey not their superiors,
Nor care whether they are hungry or
cold ;
The reputation of such is wholly bad ;
Heaven and earth have no patience with
them!
Thunder and lightning are angry with
them !
When their punishment comes
Their repentance is too late,
There is then left no road of escape.
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Drinking Wine Together in Marriage Ceremony.
CHAPTER VH
On Reverencing the Husband
When a girl leaves her father's house
Her husband thereafter
Is her nearest relative.
In her former state, before she was born,
Her relations in the present world were
fixed.
Her husband is to her as heaven f
How dare she fail to reverence him ?
The husband commands, the wife obeys ;
Yet let there be mutual grace and love ;
Let them be to each other as guests in
politeness ;
But whenever the husband speaks
Let the wife give careful attention.
If her husband does wrong,
Let her only exhort and persuade him,
And not imitate stupid women
Who call down calamities on bad hus-
bands.
u
S-. I Mm _V _'t m 7'^ -"_. - _'V-
~
When the husband goes out
The wife should respectfully ask how far
he must walk.
If by the middle of the night
He has not returned home,
She may not sleep, but must still wait
for him,
Keep the light burning and his food hot,
Until she hears his knock at the door.
Do not imitate lazy women
Who go to bed before it is dark.
If the husband is sick,
Let the wife, with careful hand,
Administer all the medicine,
Exhausting every means to restore him,
And failing not to beseech the gods
That his life may be prolonged.
Imitate not stupid women
Who at such times know not sorrow.
If the husband is angry,
Let not the wife be angry in return,
But meekly yield to him,
And press down her angry feelings.
Do not imitate bad women
Who are ready to quarrel with their
husbands.
The winter and summer clothing for the
husband
Wash carefully and mend neatly.
Let him not be either too cold or too
hot,
To the injury of his bodily health.
His daily food carefully prepare ;
Let not his stomach be empty,
Nor his mouth thirsty,
Lest his body become thin
And his heart sorrowful !
[Note: Evidently the charm of a good
meal for keeping husbands' tempers
sweet and hearts merry was known
by our Chinese sisters eighteen hun-
dred and twenty years ago !]
If your husband is sweet, be you sweet;
If sorrowful, be you sorrowful ;
If he is rich, you are rich ;
If he is poor, you also are poor.
In life you are one ;
In death let the same grave cover you.
Following these instructions,
You will live with your husband
In joyous accord,
As perfect as that of the sweetest music,
And many will sound abroad your fame.
Garden Scene.
CHAPTER
On the Instruction of Children
Families generally have both boys and
girls.
When they are three or four years old
It is important to begin their instruction.
This work is truly the mother's.
When old enough to have teachers
The boys and the girls may not study
together,
But in different rooms, with different
teachers.
First let them learn politeness ;
Afterward their respective duties in life.
Then they may learn to compose
Both poetry and prose.
Their teacher let them obey and rever-
ence,
And carefully present to him the usual
gifts.
When first he is invited to teach
Let great politeness be observed,
And no confusion occur.
When the spring flowers open,
And the moon shines at night,
Let the children play in the garden,
And let wine be brought to the teacher ;
Ever regard him as one of the family.
The women on meeting the teacher
May only speak one sentence in salutation,
Then immediately retire to the inner
apartments.
\_Note : Teachers are treated with the ut-
most respect, as, being literary men,
they are of the aristocracy.]
Girls must dwell in the secluded rooms ;
Seldom permit them to go outside.
When they are called they must come ;
When told to go, let them obey.
If disobedient in the least,
Use small switches and punish them.
The inner rooms' [girls'] instructions
Most carefully observe.
Sweeping the rooms, burning the in-
cense,
And all the duties of women,
Let the girls thoroughly learn.
Teach them the courtesies to guests,
That they may know how to present
salutations,
And to restrain their voices ;
To carry tea and refreshments to guests,
Walking steadily and with grace.
Let them not be petted and spoiled,
Causing other people to talk about
them.
Let them not go to other houses,
Lest they cease to respect strangers.
Let them not sing songs,
Lest their voices be heard outside,
And evil words be spoken of them.
Let them not play here, there, and every-
where,
Lest their deeds become evil.
The present generation's children
Are very bad ;
They have learned nothing.
Boys know not how to read ;
They grow up following their own wills,
L fi
Drinking wine, and seeking only amuse-
ment,
Living idle and useless lives,
Singing songs and dancing,
Disregarding their family duties,
And fearing not their country's laws.
Girls, too, are unwilling to learn ;
They are stubborn and talkative ;
They know little of woman's duties,
Thus they injure themselves and their
superiors.
When grown, they find themselves dis-
graced.
Then they are displeased with their
parents,
And think not to blame themselves ;
Their evil words hurt their parents' ears.
Such girls are worse than wild cats !
Kitchen and Preparing Food.
CHAPTER DC
On Attention to Domestic Duties
Economy and industry
Are the sources of family prosperity ;
Industry builds the house;
Idleness will pull it down.
Economy enriches the family ;
Extravagance impoverishes it.
Throughout life girls must work.
The whole day's work is in that of the
early morning ;
The whole year's work is in that of the
spring.
Girls must learn to sweep and clean ;
What cannot be swept must be washed.
Think not such work unimportant ;
So everyone will see your neatness,
And your whole house will be bright.
In planting the fine grains,
And the cotton seed,
Be not careless and wasteful.
In cooking the rice and soup
Always have the proper heat.
Do not be careless,
And cook this too much and that too
little,
This too soon and that too late,
So that which might have been good
Is spoiled, and the family's stomachs
Are still empty, and mouths thirsty !
The rice chaff and refuse
Preserve for the animals to eat.
Let them out to feed,
And at the proper time call them in.
Let them not wander away
And trouble the neighbors.
The husbands money and rice
Carefully put in a safe place.
Husband's wine and sweetmeats
Do not secretly take !
Let the bins or granaries
Be filled with fine grains.
The soy [a sauce], salt, pepper, and bean
preserves
Put in properly cleaned vessels.
3 . :
Of pigs, chickens, geese, and ducks
Raise very many.
Thus throughout the year,
And for all its feasts and festivals,
You will have a varied and abundant
supply,
And thus husband and wife have peace
and joy.
Great riches are the gift of heaven ;
A satisfying supply, the gift of industry.
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Morning Salutation to Male Guest.
CHAPTER X
On the Treatment of Guests
All families should be hospitable.
When a guest is expected
See that the chairs and tables,
Plates and bowls are all in order.
If it is a male guest,
The wife may not be seen,
But, near the reception room,
Await her husband's orders.
If tea is wanted,
See that it is promptly brought.
If the guest remains to eat and sleep,
Wait for the husband to come
And say what he wishes prepared ;
Whether to kill chickens and cook vege-
tables,
Or only offer refreshments.
Carefully see that the seasoning is suitable,
And food properly prepared.
With such care
A wife brings reputation to her house.
If the guest remains overnight,
See that the lamps or candles are in
order,
His room and bed carefully arranged,
With due reference to the weather,
That the guest may rest in comfort.
With modest face, and low voice,
Present the morning salutations.
In all this you please
Not only your husband, but all his family.
Do not imitate those careless women
Who do not look after the reception room ;
Who are hurried and without self-posses-
sion,
And therefore do nothing properly.
Such are very angry
When the husband invites a guest to stay.
They bring chopsticks, but no spoons ;
Salt, but no pepper.
Before the guest has eaten
They are eating;
They whip the boys,
And scold the girls,
And all is confusion.
Such disgrace their husbands,
And mortify the guests.
If a guest arrives
When the husband is absent,
Send a small child to inquire
Whence he comes.
If he looks like a friend,
Send and ask his name
And invite him to enter,
Then with hair in order and dress neat,
The wife may enter the reception room,
And present her salutations.
Then let the tea be served,
And observe all politeness.
After he has taken tea
She should inquire his business,
And if he is a very near friend or relation,
She may invite him to await her husband's
return.
But if he desires to go,
She may accompany him only
To the reception room entrance.
I exhort all women
To follow these instructions.
Neighbors Visiting.
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CHAPTER XI
On Gentleness and Harmony
For the family's prosperity,
There are very good rules ;
Women should zealously learn them.
Of these, to follow peace
Is of the first importance.
Obedience in all things is the next.
If father or mother-in-law reprove,
Receive it meekly without anger ;
If your husband's younger sister or sister-
in-law
Do any wrong, meddle not ;
This is not your affair.
Live in peace with both your superiors
and inferiors.
" Whether it is or is not, let it be all the
same to you ;
Whether long or short, never mind, do
not quarrel."
[Note: A proverb teaching contentment
under all circumstances.]
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Tell not the family affairs abroad.
With your neighbors at your right and
left,
Constantly exhaust courtesy.
In visiting with or receiving visits from
them,
In exchanging salutations or congratula-
tions,
Have a true heart and pleasant face.
When it is time to talk, talk;
When it is time to do, do!
Let not other people's business enter your
doors.
Imitate not those foolish women
Who have not good principles,
Who are untruthful and unchaste in con-
versation,
And who dare to be angry with their
superiors.
I exhort all to consider the result of their
words,
Regard the past, and take into account
the future.
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CHAPTER XH
On the Cultivation of Virtue
From ancient times until now
The examples of the " nine upright and
three pure ones "
Have been ours to look upon.
Their names and characters were recorded
In the national odes, and handed down
to us.
But how few have followed in their foot-
steps !
Yet anyone who has the desire and will
May, like them, be good and honorable.
It is of the first importance
To have correct principles;
Next to be pure and upright in act.
If there are male guests in the reception
room,
Do not go forth from your own room ;
If they be even near your own door,
Let not curiosity lead you forth to speak
to them.
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CHAPTER XII
On the Cultivation of Virtue
From ancient times until now
The examples of the " nine upright and
three pure ones "
Have been ours to look upon.
Their names and characters were recorded
In the national odes, and handed down
to us.
But how few have followed in their foot-
steps !
Yet anyone who has the desire and will
May, like them, be good and honorable.
It is of the first importance
To have correct principles;
Next to be pure and upright in act.
If there are male guests in the reception
room,
Do not go forth from your own room ;
If they be even near your own door,
Let not curiosity lead you forth to speak
to them.
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Do not talk secretly with people,
And let not an unchaste thought enter
your heart.
After the sun goes down, go not from
your room
To any part of the house without a light.
Lest going into the darkness,
You meet with unspeakable evil.
If you do wrong once,
This may lead to wrong in everything.
One evil act done and a hundred follow.
Heaven determines the relations of hus-
band and wife ;
This truth is heavier than a mountain.
If you come to misfortune and grief,
If when you have walked but half life's
road,
Your husband should die,
Then put on the three years' mourning.
Think not of marrying again.
\Note : It is very meritorious for a woman
to remain a widow, and special honors
are paid her.]
Devote yourself to your husband's family ;
Reverence his parents, instruct his chil-
dren ;
Guard and increase his estate ;
Carefully keep in order his grave,
And observe all the sacrificial rites.
People who are born -must die ;
This is true of everyone
The heavens beneath.
This book of instructions to women
Is now completed.
If they will but hear and follow,
Their happiness will be immeasurable,
Their light as that of the sun and moon.
Carefully read, remember, and obey.
-u
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