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J O U R N 






,„, „ **"*'» Prist IKO AND 

I-oxTE^v 0„.cE, No. ^8. Sta„.St»„t. 



District of Massachusetts, to wit : 

BE it Remembered, that on the eighteenth rl^y of December, 
in the thirtieth year of the Independence of the United States 
of America, Hayden & Shead, of the said District, have de- 
posited in this Office the Title of a Book, the Right whereof they 
claim as Proprietors, in the following words, to loit : 
'^The Life and Journal of the Rev. Mr, HEJ^RY ALLIKE^ 
In conformity to the Act of Congress of the Unied States, en- 
titled «• An Act for the encouragement of Learning, by securing 
the Copies of Maps, Charts and Books, to the Authors and Pro- 
prietors of such Copies during the time therein mentioned : and 
extending the Benefits thereof to the arts of Designing, Engrav- 
ing, and Etching Historical and other Prints." 

Clerk of the District of Massachusetts* 
A true copy <f Record. 
Jtt€st»ii, GOODALE, Clerk. 

. ■^^- 






4..^^.^^.i »> . i )) . i )) i.>>t«. .(< ii » » i )i' ' H i ! >) ■ » >) ■ ^[ 


Rlv. Mb. henry ALLINE'S 

LIFE, &c. 



HRIST is tlie fountain of life, the source 
of happiness, the ^lory of anjijelic reahiis, and the triumph 
of Saints, and 1 trust is the life of my soul, the joy of my 
life, my present and everlasting portion. I therefore desire^ 
and intend by his grace that his name should be my theme, 
until the last peinod of my days. And O may his blessed 
Spirit be breathed into all my endeavours, may his love 
sweeten all my trials, invigorate all my labours ; may his 
name fill up every period of my life, when in private, and 
every sentence, when in public : and hoping that he will 
cause me to write and leave amongst the rest of my writ- 
ings this short account of my life. And as that is my de- 
sign, I shall not overburden the reader with a relation of 
many passages that would be of no benefit, but shall only 
relate that, which may be worth the readers perusal. 

i WAS born in Newport, in the government of Rhode- 
Island, in North America, on the 14th day of June, 1748, 
of William and Rebecca Alline, who were born and brought 
up in Boston, who gave me an early instruction in the prin- 
ciples of the christian religion. I was early sent to school, 
and was something forward in leaniing ; was very early 
moved upon by the spirit of God, though I knew not then 
what ailed me. 

The first moving I remember was, when about eigh^t 
^£axs_o£ag;e, by some discourse between my father and mt 
eldest sister, in a thunder-storm, when I heard her say. 
that she had reason to be so distressed, thiU if she :should 



be killed with the iightninj^, as many had been, she sliould 
^-•o right to hell. I heard the words, and they struck mc 
to the heart, thinkin,!; within myself, what that could mean, 
and sayinj^ to myselt, what is that hell, 1 hep^an to recollect 
v/hat I had been tau^ijht al)out hell ; wiiich before I had 
thought no more of, than to repeat the words, as they were 
taiijjht me : and as 1 thus pondered (thouj^h so youn^) 1 
beg:an to ha\ j horrible conceptions of that place, and often 
said to myself, what, is my sisterRebeixa p;oing the-e : what, 
is she r^oing to hell ? This distressed my soul to tliat de- 
gree, that I went to bed, and began to cry, and to pray to 
some great God, which I began to conceive of ; for 1 had 
before thought no more of prayer, though I was taught 
(and my father prayed in his family every night and morn- 
ing) to repeat a number of words, as I did my lesson at 
school ; but I now began to think there was a heaven and 
hell ; that there was a God, who was such a hard htartcd 
and cruel beiag, that there was need of praying a grent 
deal, to get h.m pleased, and get his favour, and did not 
wonder, that my fatiier prayed so much ; I thought if he 
had not prayed so much, we should all be sent to hell. 

I NOW used to pray at every opportunity, even while I 
was walking along, when going to school, or elsewhere, 
that this angry God would not send me to hell. 1 used 
likewise to pray for my relations, that they might be all 
fived. I would sometimes give way to play and vanity 
with my play-mates, and then I would think that God was 
more angry than ever, and so I would pray and confess, 
and promise to make it up. 

1 NOW began to examine and study what I read, J^nd 
what I was taught in my catechism, that Ada.n had rebel- 
It d, and that all the world must be sent to hell and be pun- 
ished with all that could b j inflicted on them for that sin, 
excepting here and there one, that Go<l had picked out, and 
the rest, though they were invited to come-^o Christ, and a 
sort of sham-offer of salvation made them, yet there was 
none for them, neither did God intend to save them, when he 
made them the offer, and yet would puuish them to all eter- 
;iity for rejecting Christ, when there was no Christ for them. 

Such blasphemous, but natural consequences arose 
from what I had been taught ; which caused me to conceive 
God to be an ill-natured, cruel being, pleasir;^ himself with 
seeing and keeping pooi* creatures \fi everlasting torments* 

>t 4 



» I 


' t 




and then 1 would tremble, sometimes expecting he would 
send me ' ^imediately to hell, for charging him with it in 
my mind, tmd yet 1 could not liclp it, for 1 was still obliged 
to think so. Thus I was led to think of God as bad as of 
the devil by that blasphemous doctrine, that God decreed 
or forc-ordained whatsoever comes to pass, and consequent- 
ly the death and damnation of the greatest part of the 
world, and yet made them an offer of salvation, when there 
is none for them ; and thus they make him a dissembler, 
and charge him with hype jrisy ; offering to a poor soul, that 
which he doth not design he should have. 

Why will they dress up a loving, good (yea all good) 
and glorious Being, in such a black and ridiculous habit ? 
Why will they drive poor bewildered souls to hell with not 
only such shocking blas'^nemous thoughts of God, but like- 
wise despairing of any mercy from him ? Why do they 
not" let God speak for himself, when he swears by himself, 
that he has no pleasure in the deatii of the wicked? Why 
do they not let sinners know, that he has said, that it is not 
his will that any should perish, but all should come to the 
knowledge of the truth, and trust that whosoever will, may 
come ? And instead of telling sinners that God will damn 
them and send them to hell, if they live in their sins, why 
do they not tell them that they are already under the curse 
of a hellish nature by their own sin, which they acted in 
Adam, and those that reject salvation and love darkness 
rather than light, they make their own hell, and go to their 
own place, and that thttir own nature wHl torment them 
and be at such an enmity and rage against God, as will ex- 
clude them from all possibility of ever receiving help by the 
love and mercy of God, for there is nothing they so much, 
hate and will so much rage against, as the love, goodness 
and purity of God. 

I STILL remained distressed in mind a great part of 
my time, and though my plays often led me away for 
hours, yet I was not happy in them ; for I thought myself 
in great danger, and often, whe nwriting at school, would so 
ponder on my miserable condition, that I could scarcely 
keep my distress concealed. O the unhappy hours I wad- 
ed through, and knew not what to do, neither did I reveal 
my mind to any one. I would often go up in the garreti 
where I could see the burying place; and many younger 
^:l^: i> a A 2 


( > 

c}»ildren, tlian I \vas, carried there, and thought 1 >voiiiiI 
give all the world, if I knew where they were fjone ; and 
would cry as it my heart would break, and pray to this un- 
known Being, that he would not send nie to hell, and tliiit 
1 might not die, until I knew how to prepare for death ; for 
I thought there was something to be done, which I could 
do, when I was grown up. I still felt a continual fear, that 
I might die ; and if 1 should, O the thoughts where I 
should awake. 1 offen in my heart felt angry with old A 
dam, and thought he was very faolish, and ought to have 
punishment for ruining himself and all his posterity only 
for tiie sake of a few apples, or some other sort of fruit, as 
I thought, yea and many, many professed christians do 
think still, that the trees of that paradise were corporeal. 

When I was about nine years of age, I be|}^an to read 
much in the books that I could understand, and studied 
much to find out how to get in favour with the great invisi- 
ble God. 1 went to meeting almost every Sabbath and some 
would tell me about the stars, and great things that God 
had made, and others the necessity of externals, and being 
moral, &:c. but I do not remember that ever 1 heard anv 
one of them adapt their discourse to the capacity of chil- 
dren, and tell them in plain words, that they must be born 
again by the spirit of God, and that tlicy must feel and 
know this new birth each one for himselfi Indeed, I 
suppose, that if the minister in many churches and socie- 
ties was to leave his old town, or old paper that he is read- 
ing, and begin with the young people and children, asking 
them what they knew of conversion and impress the im- 
mediate necessity of the knowledge of the spirit of God in 
their souls, it would be so new, that the people would start 
and stare, as if the man v^as nmning wild. O what a curse 
are such poor formal blind leaders I Lord have mercy on 
them, and open their eyes, and save the poor souls, that 
they are leading to perdition, before they are gone beyond 

When I was abou t jen^ -t had got something of a theo- 
ry of religion, but it di^rnot satisfy me ; I was much afraid 
of being called away hy death, and O the distressing 
thoughts I had of dying and going I knew not where ; yea 
I was so afraid of death, that whenever I felt any pains in 
my body, I would tremble, thinking it was some disorder, 
that would carry nxe off j and whenever 1 went a swim- 




( > 

tlir. ANT) JoLRVAL. 




iniiif^ wit!\ my niLvtcs, 1 wovM pray, tl.ut I inij^^ht not Ix- 
drowned ; and almost every nii-Ut I went to my bed, I 
vafi afraid I should die, because 1 could not die praying. 

In the year 1760, my parents (after a lonj»; consulta- 
tion) concluded to move to Nova-Scotia ; this filled me 
>vith hope and fear : 1 had great desires to live in tlie coun- 
try ; 1 thought there were many things in the country to 
amuse me, and make me happy, tliat there were not in a 
town ; and 1 thought myself \veari<:d with every thin^ that 
the town afforded me ; but still 1 hud t»v.> tilings that i 
greatly feared in going ; the one was the danj^erof the sea, 
the other was the fear of the Indians in that country. How- 
ever upon the whole I rather chose to go thaii stay, and 
though wu had a long passage, wc were carried safe into 
Nova-Scotia, my parents with seven children .^ I was novr 
for a short time pleased with the country ; 1 thought I 
should enjoy happy days, Init alas my joys luid hopes were 
soon eclipsed, when it was frequently reported, that the In- 
dians were about rising to destroy us j and many came out 
among us with their laces painted, aiul declared that the 
English should not settle this country. Anel now I was 
more uneasy then ever. I did not think n\yself fit to die, 
and expected to be killed. 1 was so distressed, that I have 
laid awake manv and mativ an hour, sometimes almost all 
night listening, and oiten thought, when 1 heard the dog 
bark, or the cattle walking round the house, that they v/ere 
really coming or come ; and what would be the conse- 
quence ? why thev would kdl us all, and I was not fit to 
die : and O then the racking thoughts, perhaps in a few 
hours or minutes 1 should be in hell. O no tongue can tell' 
what I endured* I still continued praying and vratching 
over all my outward conduct, and guarding against every 
public vice, still hoping that I might yet obtain the favour 
of God, and be saved from everlasting misery. The dayS' 
I spent (when I was not about some worldly employ) much' 
in walking in the fields and in meditation, and tjie more I 
contemplated my own state and the certainty of death at* 
some uncertain moment, the more distressed I was, and 
found that the scenes and pleasures of a country life would 
not satisfy me, and I began ^o wish myself back again with 
my mates and the amusements of the town. 

Thus the poor awakened soul in his distress is seek- 
ing and roving here and thcrcj and every scheme he ciin 


loiitrivc to find pence, rest and happiness fails him, andean 
find nothing bcnficiul to his poor, sturvini^, wandering soul, 
until he finds the Lord Jesus Christ. And as for him, they 
have no knowledge of him any further than a historical ac- 
count, whicii will not satisfy a soul under deep conviction. 
Thus I was vvandciing ni;^ht and day in this distressed 
stale, loaded witli guilt and darkness, and a stranger to one 
moment's solid rest or true lra|)[)incss. All iIk* glories and 
joys of creation appeared empty, and yet my mina like a 
drowning man, \vi\o will catch at a straw, would catch at 
this and that prospect of some enjoyments here on earth, 
or l)etler days by and by : but oh they all failed me. Ma- 
r.y were the tenn)lations I was led into by my dark mind ; 
once for a considerable time 1 was led to believe that God 
had neither love nor regard for any of his creatures, but 
would leave them all in misery, and only give them all ex- 
istence \N ilhout taking any care of them : I would say with- 
in niyself, I know not who or where he is, and I see all man- 
kind in some degree of misery, want and disajipoinlment, 
and I see idmost al' that I see, with their knowk -Ige and at- 
tention in this world,without discovering any knowledge of or 
relation with tliat (iod they pretended to know. And when 
I saw the darkness, ignorance, stupidity and misery of this 
miserable race rushing to the eternal world without any 
visible manifestations of God*s care over them, or concern 
for them, I could but conclude, that the full of man was true 
enough ; for I felt and saw the misery, but that their recove- 
ry or mercy from God through Christ towards them, was 
all uncertain: for how could we know there was any ntore 
truth in that history, than in the alcoran of Mahomet ? 

Oh the distressing days and unhappy nights, that I 
have waded through ! nothing but darkness, nothing but 
distress and slavish fear. Sometimes when I was %/ander- 
ing in the fields, I would throw myself down on the grass, 
and lament as if I should go into despair : and it is a won- 
der of wonders, that I did not embrue my hands in my own 
blood. I still continued praying to this unknown God, for 
although I had not much .hope there, yet it was my last 
resource. I thought if sickness was to come upon me, I 
should go into despair ; but it was not so : for when I was 
about jourteen years of age, I was taken down, and mj 
bodily disorder so st'ipified my mind, that 1 had no more 
sense or coucerii for my soul, than a beast, or tiian if I had 





no soul ; aiul ulthou-,!;h I licard the doctor tell my mother, 
when ?ske(l whiit he ihouj^ht of me, suy, thut he believed I 
never should recover, yet it did not even cause one thouj^lit, 
us I remeuxber, what would become of my soul, or when I 
should awake: Ifelt a desire for ease from my pains, but was 
so stupid, as to. have no concern at all alxjut those eternal 
tlunps,whi(hbcfore had so employed and racked my attention. 
I NOW be^an more earnestly than ever to seek this 
)inknown (lod, pruyinj]^ every opportunity ; did read and 
study much, by wl\irh I soon atlaineil to a j^reat theory of 
rclii^ion for one of my a^e, and ^ot a considerable Babul 
built up ; but oh the temptations and trials tliat 1 now be- 
};an to full in, which almost drove me to despair. I first 
l)eiijan to be puiVed up with a conceit that I was endowed 
with uncommon gifts and powers of mind, which if im» 
proved, I should be able to find out and fathom that lonj^ 
{bidden mystery. Eternity. I began to embrace the tempt- 
ation, and to pursue the hidden mystery and dive for the 
bottomless ocean. 

Soon did the devil witii all his whiles control ' 

The active pow'rs of my deluded soul ; 
Presumed to unlaid the depth unknown 
To all, but the eternal God alone. 

O ETERNITY, fctemity, unfathomable eternity ! The 
joy of the righteous, but the dread of the wicked. 1 now 
spent hours and hours poring on this unknown mystery ; 
not expecting to find any period to this never ending dur- 
ation; but that I might find the consistency of an endless dur- 
ation and the nature of it ; for I did not believe that eterni- 
ty ever had any beginning or should ever have any end, 
but expected to get so far into the mystery as to see clear- 
ly how it was that eternity was in itself a duration without 
beginning or end : yea I thought I never could be happy, 
until 1 had thus far comprehended the mystery : neither 
had I any thought all this time, that I was under a tempta- 
tion, or guilty of any sin in attempting it, but rather imag- 
ined that it was my duty ; that I might likewise be able to 
communicate the mystery to others, although I had alrea- 
dy found by woful experience the unhappy consequence of 
my folly : for I had been so intense and engaged in the 
pursuit of this mystery, that sometimes I thought my soul 
and body would have parted asunder, and my mind was in 
auch a confusion as to border on despair. Often times t 



would sit down in my private hours, or at my work, with a 
tietermination neither to leave the place or subject until I 
had some insight in this infinite mystery. Then I would be- 
gin to extend and stretch every faculty of my soul through 
a long succession of future ages, and would sometimes imag- 
ine, that I had almost fathomed the mystery. Thus being en- 
couraged and hurried on by the grand Adversary, would 
still stretch my conceptions, grasp a repeated multipli- 
city of years, and million? of ages in futurity, I being still 
60 impatient to conceive of duration, soaring into the infi- 
nite ocean, until I was almost racked to despair : for ail 
the concei)tion I attained to at last was, that I found my- 
self a mystery of unhappy existence between two incon- 
ceivable eternities, or as an unextinguishable spark of life 
hanging over or fluctuating in an infinite, unbounded abyss 
or bottomless ocean. When I was in this almost despair- 
ing moment by these distressing views, the devil would tell 
me, that in a contimr d duration and perpe round of ex- 
istence, it was not in the power of God himself to make any 
of his creatures happy ; for the greatest pleasures and 
happiness, that could possibly be enjoyed by a continual 
succession or repetition, would become a torment. Oh 
what racks of horror and despairing views 1 would then 
be in, beyond what tongue can tell. Being in such a distress 
I would rise up, and leap, and step? and then stop and turn 
and stalk about like a mad man, or a frighted gliost, when 
I have been in the field, or my private walks ; at the same 
time being filled with blasphemous reflections against God, 
because he had given me an unhappy existence, that coul^ 
never be extinguished, and yet could not bear the Ihougnts 
of annihilation. And thus I may say I have been times 
without number, both night and day, on my bed and in 
my solitary walks, by this temptation plunged into inex- 
pressible horrors and racking views of despair ; yea I 
thought never a poor soul could be in more horror on this < 
side of hell ; so that I was many times constrained to cry 
out with an audible voice and horrid groans. And although 
the devil had almost made me believe that it was not in 
the power of God to make me happy, yet I remember, that 
the first words that I would generally express, when I was 
in such scenes of horr«r and distress, would be, O Lord 
God, O Lord God, have mercy on me, have mercy on me, 
have mercy on me I O Lord God have mercy on me, have 




' .r 









have mercy on me, have mercy on me, &c. with a great 
many more such like repetitions, until that God, who was 
more merciful to nie than I was to myself, would in some 
measure retrieve me from the verge of despair, give me a 
gleam of hope, that there was a who can tell, but that God 
is able to make me happy > if I was in heaven with him. 
Thus I was hm-ried and driven by the devil and my own 
heart almost to despair, and nothing but the mighty power 
of God kept me from Isying violent hands on myself ; and 
although I began sometimes to be convinced, that it was a 
mystery that never was, nor never could be known or un- 
folded by men or angels, yet when the de\al would come 
again with his infernal snares, and teli me that I had almost 
found out the mystery, and that if I would try once more, I 
might unfold the whole, I would a^ain summon up every 
faculty of my soul to follow the suggestion. 

So like a foo!, swift for destruction bent, 
Then re-inforc'd, and to the battle went ; 
Nop would retreat, until a venon\'d dart 
Turning with fury to my bleeding heart ; • 
Then would my tortur'd soul despairing cry 
Forgive me Lord, and save me, lest I die. / 

O M Y soul, never forget the hand, the blessed and invisi- 
ble hand that kept me from embruing my hands in my own 
blood. Ten thousand praises belong to the Lamb, that 
kept me from the jaws of the roaring lion, and inter- 
posed between me and eternal ruin. 

Thus for three years I was racked in diving into that 
infinite unfathomaSle mystery. O eternity ! eternity I in- 
comprehensible eternity I known by none but God, and yet 
the existence of every soul, both of the wicked and of the 
righteous : and happy only are they who are prepared for 
a blessed eternity. And O will the wicked endure everlas- 
ting night ? and O blessed, forever blessed be the Lamb : 
he not only warned me from that eternity of unspeakable 
misery, but likewise convinced me of the danger I was in, 
while out of Christ being wholly exposed to take up my 
miserable abode in that bottomless gulf, and shewed me 
that unless I had an interest in his love I must certainly ex- 
ist in keen despair, in that endless duration, which I had 
seen but a small glimpse of. I now began to see mere of 
my lost, undone condition, than ever I had seen before. I 
saw that I was in the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniqiu- 




ty, and had no lot nor portion among the righteous, rnd 
therefore was exposed every breath to be cut off and drop 
into that bottomless gulf ; and was now so sensible of my 
lost undone condition, that I thought I should never rest 
any more till I fiad found rest for my soul : and although I 
was again often taken in the former temptation, yet 1 con- 
tinued seeking and begging for mercy from the unknown 
God. 1 was now very moral in my life, but found no rest 
of conscience. I now began to be esteemed in youi.^ 
company, who knew nothing of my mind all this while, 
and their esteem began to be a snare to my soulj for I 
soon began to be fond of carnal mirth, though I still fiat- 
tei cd myself that if 1 did not get drunk, nor curse, nor 
swear, there would be no sin in frolicking and carnal mirth, 
and I thought God would indulge young people with some 
(what I called simple or civil) recreation. I still kept a 
round of duties, and would not suffer myself to run into 
any open vices and so got along very well in time of health 
and prosperity, but when I was distressed or threatened by 
sickness, death or heavy stonms of thunder, my religion 
would not do, and I found there was something wanting, 
and would begin to repent my going so much to frolicks, 
and I promised to break off from bad company ; but when 
the distress was over, the devil and my own wicked heart, 
with the solicitations of my associates, and my fondness for 
young company, were such strong allurements, I would a- 
gain give »ray,and this I got to be very wild and rude, at the 
same time kept up my rounds of secret prayer and reading ; 
but Cod not willing I should destroy myself still followed me 
with his calls, and moved with such power upon my con- 
science, that I could not satisfy myself with my diversions," 
nor attend them without some reluctance, and in the midst 
of my mirth sometimes would have such a sense of my 
lost and undone condition, that 1 would wish myself from 
the company ; and after it w as over, when I went home, 
would make many promises that I would attend no more 
on these frolicks, and would beg for forgiveness for hours 
and hours ; but when I came to have the temptation again, 
I would give way, and promise that I would keep up a bet- 
ter watch, and not give way to be so rude and vain as I was 
before ; and then thought, when I came away I should not, 
be distressed, nor find any guilt on my mind : but when I 
went, the devil and my own heart, and the amusements of 


I ? 




t ■■■ 

'i. i 


the time would soon make me be as wild as before : no 
sooner would I hear the music and drink a glass of wine, but 
I would find my mind elevated and soon proceed to any sort 
of merriment or diversicn, that I thought was not debauch- 
ed or openly vicious, or that I thought would be a blot in my 
character ; but when I retun^d from my carnal mirth I 
felt as gtiilty as ever, and could sometimes not close my 
eyes for some hours after I had got home to my btjd, on 
account of the guilt I had contracted the evening before. 

what snares were these frolicks and young company to 
my soul, and had not God been more merciful to me than 

1 was to myself, they would have proved my fatal and ir- 
revocable ruin. O let all those that love their own souls 
flee, flee from carnal pleasures, and young carnal company, 
as they would from the gates of eternal misery ; for it is 
poison to the soul, as ratsbane is to the body : such ways 
are the ways of death, and such steps take hold of hell ; 
which sins I began to follow, when about seventeen years of 7 
age, and continued in following them until I was twenty ' 
three, and part of my twenty fourth. O what a wonder 
that ever I was snatched from that alluring snare. The Lord 
still followed me, and would not give me up ; I began to 
be more and more afraid of the condemning power of sin, 
and my lost and undone condition. I then engaged more 
closely into morality and followed my duties ; but all did 
not take away the fear of death and hell : yea, 1 was so 
burdened at times, that I could not rest in my bed ; when 
I had been to any frolick or into carnal company I was of- 
ten afraid to close my eyes for fear that I should awake in 
hell before morning, I was one of the most unhappy 
^creatures that was on earth. When I felt the least disor- 
der in my body, I would be in such distress that 1 could 
hardly contain myself, expecting that God was about to call 
me away»,and I unprepared ; fcfr although I was so strict in 
my morals, yet my religion would not stand by me in a time 
of distress or when death slared me in the face. Not that I 
thought being willing to die is sufficient to be fit to die ; for 
the wicked have no bands in their death, but when a man's 
eyes are open, death is very distressing, without an evi- 
dence of being prepared. 

GOD in his infinite goodness did not leave me to rest 
on a form of religion, but still gave mc a sense of my lo^r 




and undone condition in a great degree : fcai ing almost ev- 
ery thing that I Baw, that it wr.s against me, commissioned 
from God to call me away, and I unprepared : I was even 
afraid of trees falling on me, when I was in the woods, and 
in a time of thunder would expect that the next flash of light- 
ning would be commissioned to cut me off. Thus I was 
one of the unhappiest creatures that lived on earth; and 
would promise and vow, in time of danger, that I would 
leave all my carnal mirth and vain company, and that I 
would never rest, until I had found rest to my soul: but 
when the danger appeared to be over I would soon return 
to my folly, though not without great reluctance ; for the 
spirit of God wrought with such power that it followed me 
nig;ht and day, when I was in company or when I was retir- 
ed ; but I was so attached to young company and frolick- 
ing, that it seemed like parting with my life to leave them. 
Although many will say, they must wait God's time, and 
and wait for God's irresistible power to put them in hh way, 
and they wish God's time was come ; yet for my part I 
have nothing of that to say, for I knew that God would not 
mock mc ; I knew that he followed me night and day in- 
treating me to forsake all and accept of him : and 1 knew 
that going to such carnal mirth, and hugging my idols was 
against his spirit and against my everlasting happiness ; 
and yet I would go and hug my pleasures, still hoping and 
praying that God would not seize the forfeiture at my 
liands, nor leave me to myself. I plead that God would 
let me enjoy my pleasures a little longer, and call me by 
and by. So I would of choice put off the Lord whtn going 
to my carnal mirth and company, would pray to God 
not to cut me off, when I got there, nor suffer me to give 
way to any sin ; and thus I have not only stopped to pray 
as I \> as going, but sometimes prayed all the way, that God 
would keep me from sinning, when I was determined to go, 
and rush on the deyil's ground. I knew I could not refrain 
myself from sinning ; yea I knew it was sin for me even to 
go in such company, if I remained wholly passive, when I 
got there ; as I promised I would. O the subtlety of the 
devil and the deceitfulness of man's heart ! If the Lord had 
not been infinite in mercy, I should have been lost for ever ; 
for I still continued my evi' ways, and hugged my idols. 
Sometimes when I knew chat a great frolick was intended, 
which I wanted to attend, I would begin for sometime be- 



(are hand and keep up an uncommon watch and pray more 
often and more earnestly ; so that I thoutjht if I was left to 
be something rude and sinful, wlien I i^ot there, for the 
sake of keeping up my name among the polite company I 
should not feel so guilty when I was there, or when I came 
away ; and although I was thus chained to the covenant of 
works, yet I would not allow myself to think I had any sclf- 
righteousncss, but intended to be saved by free gract. 
Thus one may see that the greatest pbarisee aiul most 
strict moralist are ignorant of it, and will say, that thty 
expect salvation by free grace. I believe thousands si id 
thousands perish there forever, and go down to their graves 
depending on their own performances, for want of knowing 
what it is to depend on, and receive free grace ; and imag- 
ine they do it, and do not know that they are deceived, until 
lost to all eternity. But O the goodness of God tome a 
wretch ! his spirit still followed me and would not suffer 
me to settle down ; for even in the height of my carnal 
mirth, I was often, while on the floor in my dance, so a- 
larmed to a sense of my condition, that I could hardly con- 
tain myself, seeing that I was rushing against the bosses of 
God*s bucMer, with such dreadful views of the gulph of 
perdition be»^eath my feet, and the danger ®f my being cut 
off, and dropping into an irrevocable state, that 1 have often, 
while in the dance, cried out with mental cries, O Lord God, 
have mercy on me, have mercy on me ! and do not cut me 
off in my sins. Sometimes I would leave the company, 
(often speaking to the fiddler to cease from playing, as if I 
was tired) and go out and walk about crying and praying, as 
if my very heart would break? and beseeching God, that he 
would not cut me off, nor give me up to hardnes<* of heart, 
but spare me, until I was brought to repentance : yea 
1 had now such a sense of my lost and undone condition, 
and the emptiness of all those pleasures and earthly en- 
joyments, that I did not attend nor carry on the frolicks, 
because I found any happiness or sweetness in them, but 
only that I might keep up my credit among the young peo- 
ple, and not be cast out of their esteem, and despised by 
them ; and I would make an excuse of that before God, al- 
ledging that I did not want to follow them, and took no 
pleasure in them, but that I must and thought it to be my 
duty to keep good fellowship with my neighbors, and keep 
up civil society, &c. and thus, wretched mortal as I was, I 



continued hugginj^ my sins, and making excuses for 
ihem, and prayed to God to forgive them ; still being 
burdened with a continual load of guilt, which 1 tried 
every way to cover or expiate, and at the same time 
pretended that I was depending on Christ. I was now 
more and more weaned from taking any delight in my 
carnal company, and instead of ot contriving to meet them 
or continue uny frolicks, would labom* hard to obstruct 
them by many f'xcuses I made, but did not tell them the 
cause of it ; and when I was constrained or overpersuadcd 
to meet them, and dra>vn out to dance with them, I woidd 
often speak to the fiddler in French, to desist playiriL!,, who 
would make some excuse to them (to oblige me) that he 
was tired, although he knew nothing of the cause I had 
of so doing, and would break up the diversion as soon as 
I could ; but O I when I got homr; to my bed chamber I 
had no more peace or rest than I had before, so that I 
could not sleep nor hardly lay in my bed, reflecting on my 
folly, for going at all, knowing certainly if I was to die, I 
should immediately drop into hell : rolling on my bed, I 
would call for mercy and pardon. Spare me, spare me, O 
Lord God, and cut not me off; forgive me, forgive me, O 
forgive me, or I am gone forever. O 'hat unhappy hours 
and nights I thus wore away, and my wicked heart woukl 
not bow, and though I was one of the most unhappy 
men on earth, yet I was so wicked that I was determined 
no mortal should know my state, lest I should be cast out 
as a poor, deluded, melancholy wretch ! The distress of my 
mind was so great, that it was sometimes almost impossi- 
ble to keep it concealed, and I often feared that the distress 
of my soul would break through all my fortitude ; but I en- 
deavoured as much as possible to dissemble in my counte- 
nance. When 1 met sometimes with meriy companions^ 
and my heart was ready to sink, I would labor to put on as 
cheerful a countenance as possible, that they might not dis- 
trust any thing was the matter, and sometimes would begin 
some discourse with young men or young women on pur- 
pose, or propose a merry song, lest the distress of my soul 
would be discovered, or mistrusted, when at the same time 
it was a grief to my very heart to hear of any vain or carnal 
mirth, and would then rather have been in a wilderness in 
exile, than with them or any of their pleasures or enjoy- 
mcrits. Thus for many months when I was in company, I 
would act the hypocrite and feign a men y heart, but at the 







s for 
> now 
n my 
1) the 
;, who 
I'dt he 
I had 
»on as 
nber I 
that I 
on my 
die, I 
bed, I 
me, O 
me, O 
ist out 
iof my 
it I en- 
on as 
aot dis- 
d begin 
>n pur- 
ny soul 
e time 
ness in 
pany, I 
t at the 





same time would endeavour as much as I could, without 
giving them reason to suspect me, sliun their company. 

wretched and unhappy mortal that I was l Every thing 

1 did, and whe^evcr 1 ^vent, I was still in a storm, and 
yet was taken to be one of ihe most careless, merry, and 
light hearted youths in the whole town. And indeed I con- 
tinued to be the chief contriver and ringleader of the frol- 
icks for many months after ; though it was a toil and tor- 
ment to attend them ; but the devil and my o\\'n wicked 
heart drove me about like a slave, telling me that I must do 
this and do that, and bear this and bear that, and turn here 
and turn there, to keep my credit up, and retain the esteem 
of my associates r and all this while I continued as strict 
as possible in my duties, and left no stone unturned to paci- 
fy my conscience, watching even against my thoughts, and 
praying continually wherever I went : for I did not think 
there was any sin in my coi.duct, when I was among carnal 
company, because I did not take any satisfaction there, but 
only followed it, I thought, for sufficient reasons. 

But still all that I did or could do, conscience would 
roar night and day. About this time, after repeated coun- 
sels and admonitions of my faithful parents, I went home 
one morning about two or three o'clock, when all was in 
bed, and I hoped asleep, because I feared an admonition : 
however my parents, although awake, acted the prudent 
part, not to speak to me then ; fearing, I suppose, that I was 
then warm with my carnal passions, and omitted their re- 
proof till the morning. When the morning came, I was in 
hopes it would pass by, but no ; for although I had endeav- 
oured to shun giving them an opportunity, as much as I 
could, yet when I came to the table at breakfast, they were 
wise enough to improve the opportunity, and began in a ve- 
ry tender but emphatical manner to reprove me for my 
conduct. After 1 had endeavoured to vindicate my conduct 
as much as possible, telling them, that I was not guilty of 
any thing criminal or openly vicious ; and that it was only a 
simple recreation, that was allowablfe, my mother replied, 
that although I might not be guilty of any thing openly vi- 
cious or criminal ; yet it vv^as opening a door, that would 
soon lead me to it ; and that she expected nothing less, but 
that if I continued, I should soon be guilty of almost every 
^ce ; and eternally ruined both in soul and body : and; 




speaking in behalf of herself and my father, who was thc:i 
at the table and engaged in the discourse with her, she 
said, Well, if you are determined to take no advice, but will 
have your own way, remember that it will not affect our 
happiness. We can but advise you, and warn you of your 
danger, but if you will go to hell and be forever miscra- 

~* ble, remember you go for yourself ; and further signified, 
that they should be as witnesses against me, at that great 
and dreadful day. O those words were like pointed arrows 
to my inmost soul, and struck the greatest blow that e^ er 
I had struck, to cut off my frolicking (although 1 did not 
wholly break off.) What, said I to myself, shaJl 1 one day 
see my parents, (whom 1 do love as niy own life) hi heaven 
saying to my condemnation, while I am in hell r O how 
can I bear the thoughts of that I I then immediately went out 
of the house, walked about in the field, crying and praying, 
as if my heart would break. What, said I repeatedly, shall 
my parents go to heaven and I to hell, and they rejoicing 
- to see me miserable I O shocking thought indeed ! 

I NOW renewed my engagement for a reformation and 
watchfulness, and was almost ready to promise, that I would 
ne ver go t o any more ofjthese carnal f rolic ks. I now kept 
more close to my duties than ever I did, praying six or sev- 
en times a day. I have reason to bless God, that I was not 
left to split on that rock ; a rock oa which I believe thou- 
sands and tliousands perish to all eternity. I remained yet 
in inexpressible distress, finding no rest to my troubled 
mind. The devil now set in with the cutting temptation, 

f-^ that I was not elected, and was the only cause, why I was 
not converted, or had not been converted long ago. God 
had chosen a certain number, which would certainly be 
saved to eternal life, and tisc rest were left and could not 
possibly be saved, do what they would ; yea, he persuaded 
me to believe, thai God by some unalterable decree had put 
it out of his power to redeem mc, and therefore I must ce r- 
tainly perish to all eternity. A doctrine too much preached 
up by those that are the ambassadors of Christ as well as 
by the devil. There is no tongue caii express, but of those 
that have experienced it, the unspeakable distress I was un- 
der. O, to think that my eternal state was already fixed 
in misery beyond any alteration or recovery ! O the 
thoughts of being a vessel of wrath to all eternity ! This 
brought me to reflect on the divine Being j for as I thought 





s llieu 
r, she 
at will 
:t our 
>f your 

t great 


It ever 
lid not 
lie dav 
) how 
enl out 
y, shall 

ion and 
[ would 
w kept 
or sev- 
tvas not 
; thou- 
ned yet 
I was 
inly be 
uld not 
iiad put 
list ce 1 - 
well as 
of those 
was un- 
y fixed 
O the 
» This 




;f. cruelty, I could hardly contain myseirfromhlasphcmintj 
and ciirbin^- the Ciod that made nie ; and did really wish 
many a time from my very soul, that I had never been 
born ; yea, I envied every beast, stock or stone I cast wvj 
eyes upon. I thought O if God had been so kind to me as 
to them, how happy 1 should have been ; but no, he has giv- 
en me a soul to exist forever, and put me beyond a possibil- 
ity of rediimption. Thus I was filled with blasphemous 
thoughts and reflections against God. O how strong is tlie 
Power of Darkness in the fallen soul of man I And if there 
is so much guilt and darkness appearing now while in this 
imi>risoned state, what will be the rage of the ungodly, when 
they ere beyond all restrtunt, and awake like themselves in 
their own hellish darkness and rage. O the deplorable state 
of tiie fallen race I 

After a while I began to hare a hope, that there was 
a possibility of God's saving me, and therefore I would 
try : but O it was but a little hope or expectatio»i ; and 
thus I continued the most unhappy wretch that walked 
upon the earth ; knowing that (iod, who 1 thought acted 
altogether as an arbitrary sovereign, was to summon me 
away by death, I was gone to all eternity ; and although I 
was thus exposed, every breath I drew, to keen and ever- 
lasting despair, yet I was not willing to be saved on the 
« terms of '.he gospel ; that is, cast myself wholly on free 
grace, and thought all this time, that God was not willing 
to save me. Thus I continued begging for mercy and 
fighting against it at the same time. 

By this time I had read, studied and disputed so much, 
that I had acquired a great theoi y of religion, and spent 
much time disputing on the controverted points, such as 
election, reprobation, resurrection, baptism, Sec although 1 
never let any one know, that I was any way concerned a- 
bout them ; and I thought, I was capable to liold an argu- 
ment with any one that I could find : but instead of getting 
my rest, I only increased my distress, for I thought I could 
deceive the very elect. Oftentimes when I went to bed 
after I had been disputing with my parents, I felt so nmch 
guilt and distress on my mind, that it seemed I cciikl not 
^ continue in the body, thinking how I had deceived them ; 
but found I was not willing they should know my state. I 
now promised that if ever I discoursed again with my par- 
ents, I would discover to them my state j but O my wick- 


, », 


ed heart kept back ; and wliat made it more hard for mt 
to speak and manifest my condition was the darkness of 
the time ; it was a time oi: Ejjyptian darkness. I have 
reason to l)elieve there were no more than five or six chris- 
tians in tlie wliole town, and they snnk into death and form- 
ahty : there was notliing of the power of rehgion, the tra- 
vail of the soul ; and conviction and conversion v/ere scarce- 
ly mentioned ; only externals, and duties, and commands, 
and different principles, Sec. 1 read of mr.ny experiences 
and aixoutits ot a work of grace in the souls of others, and 
therefore knew tiiat i liad no portion in the kingdom of 
heaven : and when 1 re^d of many that were converted in 

-T the former reformation, and that in a short time ; some be- 
ing but a few days under conviction and brought out re- 
joicing ; I would then miu'mur against God, because he did 
not convert me ; and thought, if I was a sinner, I was not 
worse, nor hardly so bad, as many of them had been. But 
oh I little knew what I was, nor what I was harbouring : 
the evil oi my own heart was yet undiscovered : I little 
knew that I: was a hell and damnation to myself in my own 
nature: I little knew that God was more willing to save 
me, than I was to be saved. O the blindness and ignorance 
in the ways and nature of God I was in ; I knew I must be- 
lieve ; yea it is held by many, that if I could once get God 
to be willing, I should be sure of salvation : and it ii- the 
thoughts of thousands, who profess to be christians, that 
they must labour hard to prevail with God to have mercy 
on his creatures, as if he was scant in his blessings, and 
sparing in his mercy, and therefore he was to be prevailed 
with by effective arguments, to give consent, that the bless- 
ing should be gi\ en, as if his mind was thereby changed, 
when it is wholly the revei'se ; for his nature is such that 
he cannot be but merciful, and willing to do good to all his 
creatures ; and there is nothing keeps it from awakened 
sinners,but their own stubborn will, which debars them frv.m 
his love, and it would be proper to plead with God to re- 

. move our opposition; 
S- One evening as I was taking a walk of about two or 
"^ three miles to spend the evening ^vith some of my com- 
panions (as I had promised) being alone and pondering on 
my lost and undone condition, as I was at this time almost' 
night and day, the evening was very dark, but all on a sud- 
den I thought I was surrounded with an uncommon light y 


'2 1 


It seemed like a blaze o' fire ; I thoujijht it out shone the sun 
at noon day : I was iuimcdiattly plunged almost in kctn 
despair. The first conception 1 had was that the «;rcat 
day of judgment was come, and time at apciiod. O what 
unspeakable horrors broke I'orlU immediately upon my 
soul : every power of my mind strained with terror and 
surprise. I thouirht the day of grace was now over, mercy 
ahuscc', goodness rejected, time at a period, eternity com- 
nieu' ed, the infinite judge approaching, conscience awake, 
and my soul burdened with almost v:\ unsupportablc loud 
of i;uilt, darkness and tormenting fear, and a bottomless 
i^uif beneath me. All this appeared as real as if it were actu- 
ally so. I thought I saw thousands of devils and damned 
spirits, by whom I expected to be tormented. No friend, 
no Saviour, no Mediator 1 He that made me would have no 
mercy on me, and he that formed me would shew me no 
favour; and yet I clearly saw that his throne was just and 
"wholly clear of my blood. I had nothing to lay to his 
charge, for I sawjhow I had wilfully refused his grace, and 
rejected his mercy : all times and opportunities of repen- 
tance were now at a period, and nothing but loss, loss, in- 
cessant loss, like a dagger shot through my poor distressed 
and almost despairing soul. Thus God shewed me in 
some degree for about three quarters of a minute, what it 
would be to meet that dreadful day in the condition I vr&s 
then in, without a Saviour ; and therefore informed me 
how exposed I was at every breath I drew, and what ai 
awful day I must soon see, if I am found out of Christ ; 
yea, methinks I saw more in that short time than I could 
express in one week. I stood all this time with my face 
towards the ground, trembling in body, and sinking in my 
mind, not having power to look, nor desire to ask for mer- 
cy, because I thought the case was really settled with me, 
and therefore it would be needless to ask for mercy, es- 
pecially when I saw myself so justly condemned ; and O 
too late I was convinced of r / folly. My distress was sa 
great that I believe it continued hall an hour, as it would 
have separated my soul from my body, for my very flesh 
seemed to consume off of my bones with the weight ; every 
thing conspiring to load me with unspeakable distress. 
O what u day ! iiow will the wicked stand, 
When scenes immortal open to their view ? 
All time deserted, mortal changes past, 
And they awake before the awful Bar, 
Where Grace and Hope to them arQ known no more 



Tmk firr.t thout^ht I remember, exclusive of reviewing- 
the shocliinj^ scene, was to lool^ behind me and see how fur 
the ijurnin^ llojd und sweeping dehi^e, which I imagined 
to be coming after me, was from me, that I might know 
how long I should be out of hell, or how long it would be, 
before my doom shovdd be hnally settled. When I lifted 
up my eyes, I saw, to my unspeakable satisfaction, that it 
was not as I expected : the day was not really come, there- 
fore I had an opportunity of repentance, and a possibility 
of escaping from that awful and eternal gulf. O how my 
heart seemed to leap for joy, and at the same time began to 
groan for mt:rcy. I found the day of judgment was not 
come, nor the world in flames as I expected. There ap- 
peared, as I thought, a large blaze of light in the shape of a 
circle, with that side next to me open us though it yawned 
after me, and as it drew very nigh me, it closed up in a 
small compass, then broke out in small sparkles, and van- 
ished away. It is no matter whether the light, which I savr 
with my bodily eyes, was one of the common phenomena 
of nature, such as exhaled vapours or nitre, that had gathered 
in the air ; it was not the less alarming to me ; for I believe 
it was really designed by God as an alarming means, as 
much as if it was a miracle sent to me in particular. We 
are very apt to evade the force of many alarming calls from 
God by such things as are not uncommon in nature. 

When the light seemed to vanish, and the scene to 
withdraw, my whole soul seemed to be engaged to implore 
mercy and grace. O mercy, mercy, mercy, was every 
groan of my soul, and 1 began to make many promises, 
that I would never hear to sin as I had done, nor rest another 
day, unless I had found a Saviour for my poor soul. I 
thought very much of the goodness of God to me in giving 
me one moment more for repentance, and that there ap- 
peared yet a possibility of my being saved. 

In that distressing moment how I stood '' 
On the tremendous verge of endless death ! 
While rending horrors from approaching ruin. 
And hellish fancies, poison'd with despair, 
And rappid torrents pierc'd my bleeding soul. . 
O far beyond what mortal tongue can say ! 
• Till the Almighty, with a breeze of hope, 

Calm'd all the storra, and bid, tho' dire, be still. 
To whose great name, ten thousand thanks are due. 
I THINK 1 was determined to spend my remaining 
moments at the door of mercy, begging for redeeming> 




and if I never finind inciry, to ^o down to the t^ravc mourn- 
ing,and die a beggar. 1 went to the house 1 intended, l)Ut diil 
not join in any diversion : 1 told what 1 had seen, but not 
what effect it had on me. I did not stav lonr there, for niv 
distress was so ^reat, that I returned and went home to my 
father's. When 1 came there, thev were all in hed. I 
went to my bed-room, and rryinc^ tor mercy like a jierson 
in agony. 1 had still a clear view of what I had seen and 
what it was sent for ; neither did I think, that I could ever 
dose my eyes, until I found some relief; but () the subtil- 
ty of the devil and the deceitfulness of my own heart ! I 
liad not been long in the room, before there was represent- 
ed to my view a beautiful woman (on',* whom I had seen be- 
fore, but had no great acquaintance with) and the happiness 
that I thought I might enjoy with her stole away my af- 
fections from thinking much of (lod or my st^ite. The 
devil told me that I need not commit any sin for to enjoy 
her ; that I might marry her, which was lawful : yea, I so 
acquiesced in the temptation, that my aflections were after 
her, and she appeared the most beautiful object that ever 
I beheld. My passions were so inflamed with the pros- 
pect, that I thought I would not omit the first opportunity 
to go to see her and propose marriage to her, 1 thought 
1 would be the happiest man on earth, if I might but have 
her for a companion for life. O the subtilty of that grand 
adversary, who might by this temptation have proved my 
eternal ruin, if God had not interposed. And I believe 
many souls are ruined so for evt r, who in time of distress, 
and under some convictions, will turn away after the en- 
joyments of the creature, under a pretension of going in 
the way of duty. I had almost forgot my distress and un- 
speakable danger, but blessed be God, after I had been a- 
bout half an hour captivated wit!i the delusive prospect, he 
stepped in for my help, and by his blessed spirit struck my 
heart with conviction of my state and the dangerous snare 
I was plunging myself in ; he shewed me that I was on 
' the devil's aground, and far from performing the vows I had 
so lately made ; and at the same time convinced me that if 
I remained in the state I was in, i must soon meet in real- 
ity, what I had a faint representation of, and that if I give 
way to this snare i n>ight grieve the holy spirit, and that 
it might prove the means of my eternal ruin ; and blessed 
be his name, I was not only made to see the temptation, 

K I 



but likewise to detest it from my very heart, and enabled 
to withstand it. I almost spoke out with an audible voice, 
saying, get thee behind me Satan, for I see the snare ; at the 
same time also saying, I will not go, I will not go, neither 
will I think of marrying or enjoying any thing in this 
' world, until (if God gives me grace) I find a Saviour for 
my soul ; for what wi'll all these enjoyments J^vail me in a 
dying hour. 

1 WAS now more distressed than ever ; for I saw more 
and more my danger, and the necessity of an Almighty 
Friend to stand by me for time and eternity. I spent not 
only almost all that night, but also the next day and many 
days and nights, being bowed down with guilt and dark- 
ness, crying for mercy. O mercy, mercy for my preciou* 
and immortal soul. 

I NOW began to be tried with another very heavy 
temptation, which was, that I had committed the unpar- 

I donable sin, and therefore was certainly gone, gone for ever. 

/ I remembered, that at a certain time some years ago, when 
I was in company with some young women, who were 
making a derision at people's waiting for the moving of the 
Spirit, I joined with them in the laughter and mockery, and 
although it was the spirit of God that convinced me of this 
sin and gave me a great sense of the evil of it, yet the de- 
vil now set in and told me that it was the unpardonable sin ; 
for when I was convinced that I had made a mock of re- 
ligion, and made light of speaking reproachfully of the 
moving of the Spirit ; he said it was the Spirit of God I had 
made a mock of, and therefore was lost forever ; for all 
blasphemy against the Father and Son may be forgiven, 
but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost can never be 
forgiven, neither in this world, nor the world to come. O 
the distress I was now in ! The thoughts of being lost be- 
yond recovery would rack almost my soul anr' body asun- 
der, and I thought I would gi'^e ten thousand vorldb, if I 
had them, to recall what I had done. O h(.vv it would 
rack me night and day ; but it was done, and I could not re- 
call it ; yea, and the devil was telling me that I had sin- 
ned against light and with malice, and tlierefore it could 
not be forgiven me : but though I did not know tl en, that 
there was any thing in my favour, yet my being so dis- 
tressed for fear that I had committed that sin, and tliat I 
was so desirous to recall it, was a sufficient evidence, that 



e voice, 
; at the 
in this 
lour for 
ne in a 

a.w more 
pent not 
nd many 
nd dark- 

ry heavy 
le unpar- 
i for ever, 
igo, when 
vho were 
ing of the 
:kery, and 
me of this 
t the de- 
nable sin ; 
ck of re- 
lly of the 
God I had 
; for all 
never be 
:ome. O 
ig lost be- 
aody asun- 
orldb, if I 
it would 
aild not re- 
had sin- 
hM it could 
tl en, that. 
ng so dis- 
and that 1 
dence, that 



I had not committed it, as 1 have been taught since. At "^ 
length it pleased God to relieve me from this temptation, 
by shewing me that I had not committed it out of malice 
or s^iite, neither had I much light at that time. 

My distress continued still night and day ; and O 
what days and hours of grief and trial 1 waded through, 
being locked up in darkness, and a stranger to all joy and 
happiness. Every thing 1 saw :>eemed to be a burden to 
me ; the earth seemed accursed for my sake : all trees, 
plants, rocks, hills and vales seemed to be drest in mourn- 
ing, and groaning, under the weight of the curse, anderery 
thing around me seemed to be conspiring my ruin. My sins 
seemed to be laid open ; so that I thought that every one I 
saw knew them, and sometimes I was almost ready to ac- 
knowledge many things, which I thought they knew : yea 
sometimes it seemed to me as if every one was pointing 
me out as the most guilty wr«itch on earth, I had now so 
great a sense of the vanity and emptiness of all things here 
below, that I knew the whole world could not possibly make 
me happy, no, nor the whole system of creation. Thus 
seeing that there was not a possibility of happiness in all 
the creation, and none to be enjoyed in God or his ways (as 
that appeared to me the only shelter from misery) I thought 
it was a cruel thing in God to make me or any other im- 
mortal spirit of such a capacity, as I found I had ; for I 
thought he had made hungry souls but nothing to feed 
them ; for I could not see any thing to feed me or make 
me happy, and therefore must be miserable forever. In- 
deed it is so great a truth, that all mankind have hungry 
souls, which nothing can satisfy or feed but (iod himself, 
that I would to God, those who profess to be the Ministers 
of Christ, would labour to convince their hearers of the 
disordered, distressed, hungry and self-tormenting nature 
of their own immortal souls ; instead of telling them, that 
God is revengeful and vindictive, and that they must go to 
this and that duty, and forsake this and that sin to please 
God, or to get him reconciled to them : for although it was 
contrary to what our ministers preached in those days, yet 
the spirit that convinced me shewed me, if I could com- 
mand ten thousand worlds, it would be all in vain, for it 
could not give my soul one hour's peace. 






f ! 

;,(- , 

Wherever I went, or whatever I did, night or day, 
I was groaning under a load of guilt and darkness, praying 
and crying continually for mercy ; yea I would often be so 
intent in prayer, that when 1 met any one in the street, I 
would be praying, until I spoke to him, and as soon as I 
left him, would immediately begin again to cry within my- 
self for mercy, mercy, mercy. Lord God, have mercy on 
me : and while I was in company, was so distressed and 
sui k in spirit, that I could scarcely keep the anguish of my 
soul concealed ; and would often, as much as 1 possibly 
could, counterfeit a cheerful countenance, lest I should be 
discovered ; and thus for hours, being in company I have 
exercised all the fortitude I was master of, to keep the 
storm within under a suppression. When I waked in the 
morning, the first thouglit would be, O my wretched soul, 
what shall I do, where ahall I go ? and when I laid down, 
would say» I shall be perhaps in hell before morning. I 
would man) times look on the beasts with envy, wishing with 
all my heart I was in their place, that I might have no soul 
to lose ; and when I have seen birds flying over my head, 
have often thought within myself, O that I could fly away 
from my danger and distress I O how happy should I be, if 
1 were in their place. O how hard it is for the stubborn 
will to bow, and the v/icked to come down and give up all. 
They often imagine that they are willing to receive God's 
grace and God is not willing, but it is quite the reverse. 
He standeth, saith the prophet, behind our walls. We have 
reason, both saints and sinners, to cry to God continually 
to take away the opposition of our will, our own stubborn 
will, and the corruption of our nature, that God's grace and 
love might enter in ; as it certainly would, as soon as all 
is given up : and this necessity of praying, watching and 
wrestling, is wrought in the soul by the spirit of God, to 
subdue and destroy the rejecting nature and stubborn will 
in the creature, that the meek and lov<y Jesus n^gh enter 
in. But I knew nothing of all this at that time, but thought 
that God could bring me in by an arbitrary power when he 
pleased, but would not. 

Fkdr'Jauy 13th, 1775, when about midnight I 
waked out of sleep, I was surprised by a most alarm- 
ing call as with a small still voice, as it were through 
TL\y whole soul ; as if it spoke these words. How many 
days and weeks, and months and years has God been 


' day, 


be so 

eet, 1 

I as 1 

ill my- 

•cy on ^ 

d and 



ould be 

1 have 

;ep the 

d in the 

ed soul, 

d down, 

ing. 1 

ing with 

; no soul 

ny head, 

fly away 

,d I be, if 


ve up all. 

ve God's 

We have 

^race and 
)n as all 
ing and 
God, to 
iorn will 
igh enter 
it thought 
when he 

(dnight I 

5t alarm - 


)\v many 

,od been 



striving with you, and you have not yet accepted, but 
i*emain as far from redemption as at first ; and us God has 
declared, that his spirit shall not always strive with man, 
what if he woiiki ( all you no more, and this might be tiic 
last call, as possibly it might be ; what would your unhap- 
py doom be ? O how it pierced my whole soul, and caus- 
ed me to tremble in my bed, and cry out for a longer t ne. 
O Lord God do not take away thy spirit I O leavt me acX, 
leave me not ; give me not ever to hardness of heart, and 
blindness of mind. Sleep was for some time driven from my 
eyes, and I thought I would rather never close my eyes a- 
gain than to run such a risk, and that I rather would spend 
every breath I had to draw in begging for mercy, and go 
mourning all my days, than to get away in a careless state, 

the thought of being given up and sealed over to ruin, 
was like a mountain on my soul. From this time I contin- 
ued, almost every breath I drew in prayer, excepting when 

1 was asleep : but O how hard is it to be stripped of self- 
righteousness I I had begged, reformed, read, studied, and 
attained so much head-knowledge, and got such a theory 
of religion, that it was almost impossible for me to be sU'ip- 
ped and become a fool. 

One night awaking suddenly out of sleep, the thought 
came into my mind, that I might live seeking all my days, 
until I began to think myself to be a christian, and perhaps 
fall short at last. O how the thought distressed me ! O 
how the thought of being deceived would tear my soul and 
body as it were asunder : yea I thought I would rather 
spend all my days in distress and begging for micrcy, if 1 
might but be converted at last : but llitn not to get a hope, 
without a living evidence of being on the rock of ages, even 
if I was a christiaii : for the matter appears to me so im- 
portant, that I think I could not rest v/ithout a living e\i- ^ 
dence of my everlasting welfar'^ 

While I was thus querying in my mind, and ready 
aimost to despair under a sense of my danger, I thought T -f--- 
saw a small body of light as plain as possible before mc, at 
the same time, being surprised, and not knowing what this 
meant, a small still voice spoke through my very soul, tel- 
ling me, that I need not fear knowing my conversion, if I 
c^er was converted ; for although I was not certain 
thlit I ever should be converted, yet if ever I was, it 
wfculd be as clearly manifest to me, as that light. Which 



light, let it be what it would, I know I saw it so clear- 
ly, as to be indisputable that I saw it ; for God, who, I doubt 
not, discovered that to me, could likewise discover his love 
to me as much beyond dispute. At the same time I seem- 
ed in some degree to be affected under a sense of God's 
condescension, and wondered that he should stoop so low ; 
but could not get hold of any thing that would support my 
sinking sijirit, nor remove my burden of fear and distress ; 
for 1 still harboured some self-dependence, that kept me 
from bowing to the Redeemer. O the pride and stubborn- 
ness of man's will and nature, that will rather catch and 
hang upon any thing, than to give all up to Jesus ; and 
there is no way for him to be ledeemed, but by yielding all 
up, flinching from himself and being willhig God should 
be all in all. 

Just as a man, rack'cl n^ the wat'ry grave, 
Grasps 'veeds and straws his drowning life to save. 
And tears to leave what will not grant relief, 
So my poor soul, when trembling on the brink 
Of endless death, expos'd each breath to sink. 
Yet hugs himself and harbours unbelief. ' 

Although I never yet had any thing set home to my 
heart, or any thing that I could get hold on as a founda- 
tion, nor would allow myself to think that I was born again, 
yet I Still retained a secret dependance on somethingof my 
own, and would not give up all to the Saviour : And al- 
though my happiness was all taken away and I saw more 
and more the emptiness of all things here below, for all 
pleasures ?nd amusements failed me, yet I would not go 
hungry to Christ alone. Yea, though all friends stood a- 
loof from my sore, and millions of worlds appeared insuffi- 
cient to make me happy, and the Saviour standing at my 
door to imdertake for me, and be a complete Saviour and 
my portion, yet O my proud heart and stubborn will stood 
it out, and would not wholly give up to his will. O the 
contrariety of man*s nature to the nature of God. Thus \ 
still remained nights and days, weeks and weeks, wandgi., 
ing up and down the world, under the curse of sin i!^Y\Ci 
death, without one moment of peace or settled rest ; S'-.^, 
ing nothing could make me happy in this world ; no, not \rx 
the whole creation, nor any thing in Christ neither, th at 
was worth aspiring ai>er any further, than to keep me froii -^ 
misery , for as yet I s,^w no beaty in Him> nor happinesk ^ 

« I 



it so clear- 
vho, I doubt 
rer his love 
me I secm- 
sc of God's 
)op so low ; 
upport my 
id distress ; 
at kept me 
id stubborn- 
;r catch and 
esus ; and 
yielding all 
jod shouM 



ome to my 
a found a- 
)orn again > 
And 2iU 
saw more 
, for all 
d not go 
stood a- 
ed insiifli- 
ing at my 
aviour and 
■will stood 
O the 
Thus ; 
of sin rf^i^(\ 
est ; 


no, not \ri 
ther, th at 
me froii -^ 
lappintsie ^ 

in his ways : but stiU hoping that God would convert me, 
and bring me to enjoy something I could not tell what, and 
would still plead v/ith God to undertake for me : and al- 
though I would not have suft'ered myself to expect salva- 
tion any way by my own works either in the whole or in 
part, yet all this lime I was endeavoring to do a part, and 
would sometimes think that my prayers and fears would 
prevail with God, and sometimes thut my being so engag- 
ed, so aftected, and so humble, would affect God, and cause 
him to pity me, and be willing to convert me. And thus 
it is that children often imbibe such conceptions of God, by 
hearing of vindictive wrath and incensed justice in him; 
tlicrefore, when awakened, will labour a thousand ways to 
pacify or reconcile God. I think it would be far better to 
teacli them, as it really is, that God is notliing but love and 
goodness, waiting for sinners to be reconciled to him ; and 
that all the wrath and darkness, anger and punishment A 
that there is, is in themselves, which would be more likely 
to convince them of the necessity of a change of nature, 
and excite a more speedy escape to the great Redeemer. 

I HAD got so much light that I knew almost as nmch 
as a clu'istian in my head, but had nothing saving in my 
heart ; but I had such a doctrinal knowledge of the neces- 
sity of conversion, that I thought it M'ould be the most 
shocking judgment that could befal me, to be left unmind- 
ful or careless of the onj thing needful : yea, I retained u 
fear, that T might sit c'ov/n short of Ghrist, or forget my 
exposed state, that I now was in, and must be in, until con- 
verted. There was nothing I more feared, tiian getting •, 
back into my former state of security, so as wholly to for- 
get m^ lost and undone condition. About this time I en- 
deavoured to find out some way to prevent my falling into 
an insensible condition, or forget what I now saw of my 
miserable condition ; for which end I concluded in my 
mind to engrave upon some large rock, in some private 
place in the woods, a few very striking sentences, that 
would express the distress I had once been in, or what I 
had once seen, and that 1 was still in the same lost and un- 
done coalition, and as much exposed unless I was born a- 
g^in : and thus I should be alarmed, whenever I passed 
by that rock, which might prove the means of the salvation 
of my precious and immortal soul. But my distress in- 
- C 2 . . ■ 






\ *■: 

1 ; 

creasing and for want of some instrument and an opportu- 
nity I kept putting it off, and so never completed it. O 
the inconsistency oi' my conduct I for iiad I got so away 
and returned to my former carnal state, as to have no sense 
of, or desire to seek for salvation, I should have had no de- 
sire to have seen ih-di rod.. Thus it is tl.ut man will con- 
. trive thousands of ways to bring some power of his own 
and to carry on the work of salvation himself: bvit if they 
will not hear Moses and the Prophets, neither will they l.e 
persuaded though one arose from the dead. My desire 
for salvation was now so great, that I thought I would will- 
ingly do or suffer any thing, that could be laid on me which 
would effect the work : yea, had it been possible, I vvouW 
have been willing to have suffered the pangs of death a 
thousand times, to have purchased salvation, or obtain re- 
demption and everlasting life. But O it was all in vain : 
conversion yet was unknown to me ; yea at a greater dis- 
tance than ever. 

One evening I was at a house, where there were some 
people, who made a game of what they had seen of the 
New-Lights in New-England, where some of them had been 
and had seen them ; and in derision cried out, they were 
converted, they were converted, and a young woman fell 
down on the floor and frothed out of her mouth, and cried, 
&c. which I knew she did by way of mockery : neither did 
I believe to be true, what they said of the indecencies they 
committed ; although I doubted not, but that through an 
extreme distress of mind they might do some things that 
seemed rather indecent to the world : but I still believed, 
though I had never seen any such work, that it was the 
work of God : it grieved me therefore to hear them mak- 
ing such a game of it ; yet 1 had not the power to speak in 
behalf of it, and thought if I did it, they would laugh at 
nie ; and so, though I did not join with them I held my 
tongue, which I ought not to have done. 1 now believe, 
tb^-t had I come out and spoke, God would have given mc 
strength, and it might have been a blessing to my soul. 
One of the young women in the company said in these 
words (by way of laughter) Lord have mercy; I wish I 
■was there to see how the creatures act : her mother (who 
professed to be a christian) replied, O Abigail, I would not 
have you go there for all the world, for you know that we 
^''" not our own keeners, and how do you know you might 




I it. O 
io away 
lo sense 
rl no flc- 
AW fon- 
liis own 
if tl^ey 
thcv Le 
T desire 
Lild will- 
e which 
'. vvouW 
:leath a 
tain rc- 
1 vain : 
ter dis- 

I'c some 

of tJie 
ad been 
y were 
nan fell 
1 cried, 
her did 
es they 
ugh an 
gs that 
vas the 

peak in 
igh ift 

Id n;y 
vtn mc 
y soul. 
i these 
wish I 
r (who 
nld not 
hat we 



not be taken so too. O how this cut me to the heart ; be taken 
so too, said I to myself, why I would crawl on my hand» 
and knees, if it were possible, all m/ days, if I might be 
taken hold of, as I think they are, or feel, as I think they 
feel for all what you may laugh at, and deride them ; and 
you, thought I, who profess to l)e a christian, to be afraid 
that your daughter should be there, for fear of btfing taken 
hold of: but she was not alone, for I have seen in my 
travels great numbers slnctj, poor blind souls, that profess 
to be christians, yea ministers and members of churches, 
as much afraid of the power of religion as she was. O 
that God would shake not only the earth but the heaven.^ 

I STILL found no relief for my poor distressed mind ; 
my perishing soul was yet in darkness and in the prison of 
unbelief. Sometimes I thought I depended on my prayers 
and tears, and then would begin to iabo'.u' to strip myself 
of them, and when I thought I had no dependence on them, 
I would de{)end on my not depending ; and then I thought 
I might expect mercy, because I liad cast all away. I 
knew that 1 must be humi)led, and therefore would labo\ir, 
as many poor benighted men do picach,to humble myself, 
to prepare the way for Clirist, and strive to be holy and to 
hate sin before I got Christ. 

How erreat the pride of all the fallen race ; 
How liard to bow to the Redeemer's grace : 
How much to help their guilty souls they'll try, 
Before they wholly on the Lord rely : 
Reflect on God and oftentimes complain, 
While offer'd grace is off'er'd still in vain. 
Thus I continued until the 26th of March, 1775, and 
there being no preaching in the town, that day I spent, yea 
all the day, in reading, praying and meditating, sometimes 
in the house, and sometimes walking in the fields, but found 
no relief from any quarter. As I was about sunset wan- 
dering about in the fields lamenting my miserable, lost and 
undone condition, and almost ready to sink under my bur- 
den, I tho\ight I was in such a miserable case, as never any 
man was before ; and did not see any prospect of ever ob- 
taining any relief. O the thought of continuing in such a 
dark vault and distressing storm as I was in, how could I 
bear it, or what must I do ! O why did God make me to 
be thus miserable, and leave me, (as I thouglit he had) to 
perish in this conditionj being a stranger to myself, to God 


1 li 



t \ 

i * 




and to all happiness. 1 returned to the house und^^r a> 
much distress as 1 could hardly bear, and when I got to the 
door, just as 1 was stepping off the threshold, the follow- 
hig impressions came into my mind like a powerful, but 
small still voice. You have been seeking, praying, reform- 
ing, hi!)ouring, reading, hearing and meditating, and what 
have you done by it towards your salvation ? Are you any 
nearer to conversion now than when you first I)cgfan ? Arc 
you any more prepared for heaven, or fitter to appear be- 
fore the impartial bar ol' God, than when you first began to 
seek ? 

It brought such conviction on me, and that immedi- 
ately to my mind, that I was obliged to say, that I did not 
think I was one step nearer than at first, nor any more i»ap- 
py, or prepared than years ago ; but as nmch condemned, 
as much exposed, and as miserable as before. Then were 
again in an instant impressed on my mind these words, 
Should you live as much longer as you have, and seek as 
much, pray as much, do as much and refoim as much ; as 
you have done nothing now, you will have done nothing 
then, and then what will yoi. be the better ? IVIy soul 
cried out within me, no, no, I shall never be better, if I live 
ten or twenty years longer. O what shall I do, Avhat shall 
I say, or where shall I flije ? I am undone ; and if there be 
not some way foimd out, that I am a stranger to, and never 
stepped one step in, I am gone forever. 'O mercy, mercy, 
liOrd have mercy on me, or I am undone to all eternity. 
And now 1 began to be stripped, and saw that I had done 
nothing, and never could do any thing. I had often thought 
that this was not right, and that was not right ; I went 
wrong this way and that way ; did not keep my watch this 
time or that time ; which was the reason that I had not 
been converted ; but if I had done so and so, and had not 
gone astray here and there, I should have found mercy be- 
fore now, and I intend to keep a better watch, seek more 
earnesdy, and seek more humbly, love, Sec . and then I 
shall find mercy. But O tliese hopes and the ways I had 
so of^en and so long practised all failed mc. and I saw that 
I could neither exti icate mvself out of my lost, undone con- 
dition, nor recommend myself to God by any thing I had 
done, or ever could do if I were to live a thousand years. 
And i appeared further from conversion than ever : for un- 
der some agreeable frames, when I felt my passions mov- 

t ■' 



und^tr as 
gfot to the 

le follow - 
e»*iu], b.n 
and what 

you any 
an ? Arc 
^pear be- 
^t^tjan to 

did not 

lore hap- 


en were 

seek as 

uch ; as 


^ly soul 

if I hve 

'it shall 

iiere be 

i never 

^ done 
f went 
h this 
d not 
d not 
7 be- 
»en I 







cd, I would hope, that I was nearer conversion ; hut now 
even all those ui^reeahle frames were |jjone, ami I found 
that I could neither love, pray, praise nor reptru ; but my 
heart felt iiurd, my will stubborn, my soul dry and barren, 
starving for want of one crumb of bread, al! njy wisuou) and 
human prudence seenied to be gone, and I was as ignorant 
as a beast ; and my original sin anil fountain of corruption 
appeared ten thousand times greater and worse than all my 
actual sins. I cried out within myself, O Lord God, I am 
last, and if thou O Lord dost not find out some new way, I 
know nothing of, I shall never be saved, for t!ie ways and 
methods I have pre«icribed to myself have all failed me, and 
1 am willing they should fail. O Lord, have mercy, O 
Lord, have mercy. 

These discoveries continued until I went into the 
house and sat down, which was but a short time, though I 
saw more than I could express or had seen for some time. 
After I sat down, being all in confusion, like a drov/ning 
man, that was just giving up to sink, I had nothing now 
to depend on, but on some invisible and unknown God, 
to whom I was continually groaning with groans unuttera- 
ble. I have nothing now to support me, or help me, what 
must I do ? or where shall I go ? Will God have mercy 
on me, or must I sink forever ? Being almost in an ago- 
ny, I turned very suddenly round in my chair, and seeing 
part of an old bible laying in one of the chairs, I caught 
hold of it in great haste ; and opening it without any pre- 
meditation, cast my eyes on the 38th Psalm, which was 
the first time 1 ever saw the word of God : it took hold of 
me with such power, that it seemed to go through my 
whole soul, and read therein every tiiought of my hearty 
and raised my whole soul ^vith groans and earnest cries to 
God, so that it seemed as if God was praying in, with, and 
for me. This so affected me, that I could not refrain from 
tears, and was obliged to close the book, but still continued 
praying in the same words ; for it seemed, as if I could re- 
peat them almost as well without the book as with it. Af- 
ter I had sat thus for some time, repeating over and pray- 
ing in that Psalm, I again opened the bible without any 
desij!;n to turn to any particular place ; I cast my eyes on 
the 40t.h Psalm ; the three first verses being different from 
the rest, c me with power and energy to my heart ; but 
did not still take hold of it as any evidence of my beii>g 






wlial to „u,ke r" , • I^P'-'^red new, and I r„„i i 

vain? xr! '"*;'"-foi-e mv c-v ,v. "^'"'•''t fnends could • 
be ° ;> ^ ?"''^ ^''ti^/ittn^ !"■;"■'=' " ^°'-<' '<•■< me kno V 



Of :i, ""' ^^"«t tins nieht iffC ^'^^'' ^ L«^d Jesus 

-™Wed and filf:;,'^;;'!!^,^- -as expelled 'mT 
choice after the infinite Cnflf ""'' "^^ »'*" turned of 
'S-.S.J and been clesmi ^'f. [^aU V'^ '"^'' «" 

■njieaven, but with what T „? • '° """y ^ler death o. 

Who, , ,^^.,,^^^ fii d witirrr-'' i" ™-^ ^°"' -fo -y 


-?-ivi2i^TXn ■ 







«hstrtssing fears, and crying; to an unknown .Clod for help, 
uas now filled with immortal love, soaiin^^ on the winf^s of 
faith, freed from the chains of death and daikness, and cry- 
\u\^ out my Lord and my Cod ; thou ait my rock and my 
fortress, my shield and my high tower, my life, my joy, my 
present and my everlasting portion. ^ 

O THE astonishing wonders of his grace, and tiic 
boundless ocean of redeeming love ! millioi^s and niillions 
of praises belongs to his name. O how shall I make the 
least return I O what a wretch have 1 been to stand it out 
against such love. I have long and often wondered, that 
God did not have mercy on me and conveit me ; but r.ow I 
saw it was my own fault, and wondered why he waited so 
long upon such miserable rejectors of his grace. O how 
black appeared all my righteousness, which T saw I had 
hugged so long. And O the unspeakable wisdom and 
beauty of the glorious plan of life and salvation. I have 
often wanted some things in the world, and some plans to 
be altered, and wished this thing and that thing was not so, 
because it seemed hard, and not agreeable to my carnal 
mind and human reasonings ; but I would not now have any 
alteration for ten thousand worlds. I'.very thing that God 
did was right and nothing wanting : I did not want then 
that God should alter any thing for me> but I was willing, 
yea chose (for it was the food and joy of my soul) to bow to 
him, to be ruled by him, to submit to him and to depend 
wholly upon him both for time and eternity ; and it was the 
joy of my soul that he would be God alone forever. I 
wondered that ever an infinite God should turn a thought 
of mercy toward the fallen world, and be employed for the 
welfare of such a wretch as I saw I was. But O free 
grace, free grace 1 O how infinitely condescending vras the 
Ancient of Days to become an infant of a span long to re- 
deem perishing and immortal souls t He deserves their 
praises for erer ; and my soul longs to praise him, for he is 
my prophet, my priest and my king : and this is my be- 
loved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. O 
the infinite condescension of God to a worm of the dust I for 
though mywiiole soul was filled with love, and ravished with 
a divine ecstacy be)T)nd any doubts or fears, or thoughts off 
being then deceived, for I enjoyed a heaven on eartli, and 
it seemed as if I were wrapped up in God, and that he had 
done ten thousand times more for me than ever I could ex- 




V ' 

pcct, or had t^cr thought of: yet he still stcopccl to the 
wtcikncss of my desiiTs ami rcciucsts, nuulc as before ol - 
served on the 13tli of Tebniary ; thouf;h I had no thoughts 
of it then, until it was given me. Lookinj^ up, I thought I 
*aw that same light, though it appeared different, and as 
soon as I saw it, the design was opened to nie, according to 
his promise, and I was obliged to cry out : enough, enough, 

blessed (iod ; the work of conversion, the change and 
the manifestations of it are no more disjKitablc, than that 
light which I see, or any thing that ever 1 saw. 1 will not 
say I saw either of those lights with my bodily eyes, though 

1 thought then I did, but that is no odds to me, for it was 
as evident to me, as any thing I ever saw with my bodily 
eyes ; and answered the end it was sent for. O how the 
condescension melted me, and thought 1 could hardly bear, 
that God should stoop so low to such an unworthy wretch, 
crying out still, enough, enough, O my (.iod, I believe, 1 be- 
lieve ; at the same time 1 was ravished with his love, and say- 
ing, go on, go on blessed God in love and mercy to me, and 
although I do notdeserve thee, yet I cannot live without thee, 
and I long to drink deeper and deeper in thy love. O what 
secret pleasure I enjoyed ! happiness and food that the 
world knows nothing of : substantial food and settled joy. 
O I would rather be a door-keeper in the house of my 
God than to dwell in the tents of wickedness, crowned with 
all the dignities of this lower world, surrounded with all 
the enjoyments of time, and the most exalted pleasures of 

In the midst of all my joys, in less than half an hour 
after my soul was set at liberty, the Lord discovered to me 
my labour in the ministry and call to preach the gospel. I 
cried out amen. Lord I'll go, I'll go, send me, send me. 
And although many (to support the ministry of r.ntichrist) 
will pretend, there is no such thing, as a man's knowing in 
these days he is called to preach any other way, than his 
going to the seats of learning to be prepjired for the minis- 
try, and then authorized by men : yet blessed be God, there 
is a knowledge of these things, which an unconverted man 
knows nothing of. For my own part it was so clear to me, 
that I had not the least doubt, but I shoidd preach the gos- 
pel ; although to all appearance in the sight of man, there 
was none appeared more unlikely t for my capacity in 
the ^ 'orld was low, being obliged to labour daily with my 



C(l to t\\t: 
H'forc ol - 
> thoii^l.ts 
thought I 
it, and as 
cording to 
1, enough, 
langc and 
than that 

1 \\\\\ not 
cs, tliough 

for it w as 
my hodily 
3 how the 
uxUy bear, 
hy wretch, 
ieve, I be- 
e, and say- 
to me, and 
.ho\it thee, 
. O what 
1 that the 
ettled joy. 
ise of my 
vvned with 
with all 
easures of 

an hour 
ed to me 
^ospeL I 
send me^ 
nowing in 

than his 
ne minis- 

od, there 
rted man 
L^ar to me, 
I the gos- 
lan, there 
pacity in 

with mv 





hands to get a living ; my father's estate was not very 
large, and my part.nts being almost prst labour, I had the 
Avholc care of these temporal concern.s. As for learning, 
it was true I had read and studied more than was common 
for one in my station, but my education was 1 ut small : 
•what I had of human literature, I had accpiircd of myself 
without schooling, excepting what I obtained before I wa^i 
eleven years of age, for I never went to school, after I . 
came to Nova-Scotia ; so that if learning only would make 
ministers of Christ, as the world vainly imagine, I had it 
not : but, blessed be Cod, I trust I had that to go with mc 
which was better than all the wisdom and learning ; neith- 
er had I the lea«:t doubt, when 1 was near to Cod, of being 
not qualified, though after that, when I got in the dark, 
1 had : but said with all my soul, 1*11 go, I'll go; send me, 
send me with the glad tidings of salvation and messages of 
peace to my fellow-men : yea, my whole soul thirsted to 
go ; and at that time found nothing of the fear of man or 
tlie storms and trials of a frowning world in the way : al- 
tliough before I had any liborty for my soul from the 40th 
Psalm, those words, as before obsers'ed, were spoken to me : 
'* Many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord." 

that ever Cod should make me instrumental in l>ringing 
one soul to the knowledge of a Saviour I O Lord, send me 
•with meekness and humility. '^ 

I spKNT the greatest part of the night in ecstacies of 
joy, praising and adoring the Ancient of Days, for his free 
ancl unbounded <,Tace, and rejoicing ihat Cod was about to V 
send m<' with messages of peace, and the glad tidings of f \. 
salvation to my fellow men ; and thought, if I had a thousand 
tongues, I couJd employ them all to spread the Redeemer's 
nanje, and to make manifest the wonders of his love to the 
children of men. () that they may taste and see the won- ^ 
ders of redeemin ^ love ! "* 

After I had been so long in tliis irariSport and heay- 
cnly frame, that my nature seemed to require rest and 
sleep, I thought to close my eyes for a few moments ; then 
the devil stepped in, and told me, that if I went to sleep, 1 
should lose it all, and when I should awake in the morning 

1 would find it all to be nothing but a fancy and delusion. I 
immediately cried ^.ut, O Lord Cod, can this be a delusion ?' 
OLoid, ifl am deceived, undeceive me. My soul was 





Hi'! > 


ii 1 





. ' 

■ \ 


1 i 


' ' 

immediately carried again beyond all fear of deception ; for 
I could rest all myeoncerns on the Rock of Ages, and found 
myself in the ai-ms of redeeming love. I then closed my 
eyes for a few minutes, and seemed to be refreshed with 
sleep ; and when 1 awoke, the first inquiry was. Where is 
my God ? and in an instant of time, my soul seemed awake 
in and with God, and surrounded by the arms of everlasting 

About sun-rise I arose with joy, to relate to my par- 
ents what God had done for my soul. When I came from 
my rpom, my parents were just arising. I immediately 
broke out, and declared to them the miracle of God*s un- 
bounded grace to me, which so affected them with joy, 
that it almost overcame them, and what made it more as- 
tonishing to them, was, because I had never made known 
to them the distress I was in for weeks and months and 
years ; though they after this told me, they had often seen 
me tremble, when discoursing about religion ; and that 
though I did not discourse about my own standing, yet that 
my expressions and conduct cHen manifested, that I had 
en inward storm. W^hen we had for some time discoursed 
on what I had passed through, 1 took a bible to shew theni 
the words, that were impressed by God on my soul the 
evening before ; but when I came to open the bible, it ap- 
peared all new to me, and I could not help mentioning ma- 
ny glorious promises I saw, and asked them many ques- 
tions about them, as if they had never seen them before : 
for it seemed to me, they never had ; or else, I thought, 
they would have told rne of them ; for how could they pass 
so carelessly by such expressions of love and condescension of 
an infinite God, as they now appeared to nie. I then went 
to prayer in the family> returned public thanks to God for 
his infinite goodness to me, an unworthy worm of the dust, 
1 believe, as I have thought since, that it must have been 
surprising to them, to have seen me thus bold to pray in 
public, when I had never been heard to speak even one 
word of my own standing, nor ever known to pray either 
in public or in ^jrivate. O what happy hours wc now had 
conversing about the Redeemer's Kingdom ! I did not tell 
them any thing about my being called to preach, keeping 
that in my own mind ; although I huve since thought, it 
was the w ork of the devil, to keep it concealed, for it kept 
me back from public improvement, loiiger than perhaps 



ception ; for 

'S, and found 
closed my 
'eshed with 
s, Where is 
imed awake 

to my par- 
came from 
Cod*s un- 

with joy, 
t more as- 
ide known 
onths and 
often seen 
; and that 
'g» yet that 
liJit I had 
hew them 

poul the 
•le,. it ap~ 
>ning ma- 
ny ques- 

before : 
hey pass 
ension of 
len went 
God for 
■ht dust, 
ve been 
pray in 
ven one 
f either 
low had 
not tell 
Jght, it 
it kept 



otherwise I might have done, and caused me to pass many 
a sorrowful hour, not knowing what to do ; 1 having no 
one to tell my mind to, or ask advice from, who perhaps 
mi^lit have been instrumental in (iod's hand )f helping m» 
out, and shewing me the way of duty. () how 1 now de- 
sired to be for God and for him only, and to live lo his glory 
and the good of souls. 

O let my days and all my hours be thine, 
And lead my hungry soul to truths divine : 
Set me from ev'ry eartlily lover h*ee, 
And let me spend my mortal days with thee ; 
To bring poor sinners round thy g-lorioui throne 
And give the praise, O God, to thee alone. 
() let me never leave my Saviour more "^ 

Till I shall reach that blest immortal shore, C 
Bound up in thee, thy goodness to adore, j 

March, 1775. Some account of my travels and the 
dealings of God with me from the 26Ui of said March to 
May, the year following. 

Little did I think now that I should ever have any 
doubts about my own state ; for, I thought I should have 
nothing to do, but rejoice and walk in the light of God's 
countenance. I must acknowledge, that 1 lived a consider- 
able time without any distressing doubts. I used now to 
walk out in private for hours and hours, and conversed with 
God oftentimes as with an intimate friend, and feasted on 
his love. The vanity, the pleasures, the grandeur, the es- 
teem and the riches of the world appeared but empty 
sounds and shadows to me, and my soul rejoiced in riches 
and pleasures unknown to the world. O the happy days 
and nights I often enjoyed. 1 was enabled to forsake all 
my vain companions and pleasures, and was determmt;d to 
bid them an everlasting adieu : and although I had b<.:fore 
for nights and nights rolled and turned on my bed for fear 
of death, judgment and eternity, but now my heart v/ouM 
oftentimes leap for joy at the prospect of death ; for I 
doubted not but I should go to my Father's House, and re- 
joice in bis love forever. Oftentimes when walking out in 
the evening I would look up in the air, and think how my 
soul would rejoice to see the Judge of all the earth appear, 
who I doubted not but was my everlasting friend. 

The great trials that 1 now passed through, and bur- 
dens that I laboured under, was respecting my cull to the 
ministry ; the prospect of which,and how 1 should ever come 






I 'i 

ill ii; 

iii 111 

!■ i 
si i 

oMt, would enj^ross almost all my serious medita- 
tions ; for I "u us convinced that 1 must preach, but knew 
not how, where or when. I was often afraid to come out, 
»nd often ]ono;ed to come out : yea, wJierever I went or 
whatever 1 did, 1 thought of little or nothing else : 1 would 
go to the Lord Vv ith it in all my prayers, pleading with him 
to shew me which way to begin. 

It was now published abroad that Henry AUine was 
turned a New-Light ; for I talked much with young peo- 
ple about their evil ways, and what a wretch I had been in 
going with them in the way that led to death. Being one 
day at work with a young man, that had married my sister, 
lie asked me, whether a man might not be born again, and 
not know it ? I answered very positively ; No, by no means, 
for although, said I, they may not know the very day or 
hour, yet the change is so great, that they will soon know 
it. This struck him with a great sense of his danger, as 
he had a hope before, though I did not know it then ; and 
it never left him, until he came out rejoicing in redeeming 
love ; which was but about one day after. Thus the glo- 
rious work of God began to spread in that dark land. It 
was astonishing to sec how the conduct and behaviour of 
the young people was changed'; frolicking ceased, and ma- 
ny began to be something thoughtful. I had been a leader 
of almost all the frolicks in the place, and therefore, al- 
though some of the youth were not awakened, yet they 
seemed to be deprived of opportunities to carry them on ; 
and some became much engaged for the knowledge of a 
Saviour. O the reasonthati shouldhave toblessGodallmy 
days, if I could labour in the Redeemer's cause : yea, I 
tiiink if God would give me my rec|uest, I would rather go 
in his name to my fellow men with the messages of peace, 
rhan to be a ruUr of the whole world : and sometimes I so 
longed to be useful in the cause of Christ, in preachihg the 
gospel, that it seemed as if I could not rest any longer, but 
go I must and tell the wonders of redeeming love. I lost 
all taste for carnal pleasures, and carnal company, and was 
enabled to forsake them. I still remained under a great 
weight respecting my call to the gospel mhiistry ; not 
knowing what to do, what t© say, or where to go. Some- 
times, wh^n I got something cold, T would think, that it 
was all in vain for me ever to try ; for it was impossible for 
me to come out, and attempt to speak in public : but when 

*s niedita- 

^I't knew 

come out, 

>vent or 

^ would 
^vith Jiim 

nine was 
"iig- pC'O- 
d been in 
'^^ing one 

'iiy sister, 

l&'iin, and 
o means, 
day or 

on know 

"ger, as 

t'» ; and 


tile gJcL 

and. It 

viour of 

and ma- • 

a leader 

'oi'e, aJ- 

et they 

ni on J 

fe of a 

«dJ my 

yea, i 

ler go 


s I so 


r, but 

f lost 

I was 


; not 


it it 





I got near to God, and my soul filled with his love, I saw I 
must 9;o, and 1 longed to go, for it would have been very 
easy for me, believing that God would go with me : but 
still the prejudices of education and the strong ties of tradi- 
tion so chained me down, that I could not think myself 
qualified for it, without having a great deal of human leani-^ 
ing ; and although I sometimes had not the least doubt, 
but God had called me to the ministry, yet I could not be- 
lieve, that it was his will, that I should preach, until he had 
found out some \\ ay to get me quaUfied by human assis- 
tance, for I thought I must go, but could not go without 
learning, neither could I believe that God expected that I 
should go without it. O the strong chains of tradition, and 
the great prejudices of education I how many trials and 
heavy hours might I have escaped,. if I could have believed 
that God would or ever, could call any one to the work of * 
the ministry, with no more human learning, than v/hat I 
had ; or could I hav».believed that I was then called to go 
as I was. O, there Was nothing but what I could have gone 
through or suffered, if I might thereby have been qualiilied 
to go. Sometimes I thought the prime of my days would 
be over, before I had found out any way for me to come out ; 
and that I could not bear. O, my days were fleeting away, 
and nothing done. I longed to be at work before the day 
was over and the night come when no man can v/ork ; and 
then, O then, I must quit the world, and never be useful to 
souls. O how impatient was I for liberty, that I might be 
employed in the cause of Christ ! 

About April or May, I made known my mind to a 
man that married one of my sisters, who had been a chris- 
tian some years. It seemed to rejoice his heart to hear 
that God was calling me to the work of the ministry ; and 
told me, that he was convinced by what I had told him ; 
and said he would spare no pains for my encouragement. 
He asked me what kept me from coming out immediately. 
I toldhimthe whole reason was,becaasel had not a sufficient 
degree of human learning. O the prejudices of education and 
strong ties of tradition. He was under the chains as well 
as myself respecting human learning, in some degree. He 
advised me to apply myself immediately to reading and 
studying, until some door opened to me to attain to more 
learning. I still continued restless in my mind^ not know- 

D J 






• 'eft lo stone S, ^d t" dis'" '''°"' P'' '^^"^nt. ' Th:'r ^ 
7s kind, ^d ji^, no tavrr^'-^Se '"« ; butttill ih^tvl 
of h,s love and intentio mo w/^'Jr'''"'"' ^ "e^on 4^^ 

P'-each until I ad . '°'\^ Persuasion, Um '. , f''''"' ' 

• proceed to New^tS'"'^ l"""'"^^' ""d 4 uefoTe '"" 

to get learning tl»:rfH' '"'^ '^"''eavour some' r.v n^ "f "' 

means or other ifhL , ^ '^e provided for i '"^^ 
;v4'sve,y indulgent to ^^e"t?';^°"^^'"'' «^ 'hey 4^^^^ 

S' '°S "r™' ^- ' -s"gorrtn;v 

ers in I '"'°,"''^ ^^''^ 'he only on?r h f ^''"^ Cornwal- 
tis in law, and he has been llhT,- "''' excepting broth 
vve were about to part, Uomt^'T'' ^""^ years. Svhen 

7 gav? "f good advice, thou *,?l7r'"^ ' ''^ immediate" 
'■e advised me to return ;^^- '"^ "ot see it thm . r 

culled me to preac ,' 1™ ^^^1'',^ '^"^'" f"'' if Ood" ht[ 
ought to come iiWediat'eVotrihe^t. --& step^'fo^^l 

t' :u.^h /sralSitt-dsi-r - P-^e tf to^?^ 

-s not^Zirr so° n'^rrf^'ht'f '°"'"' *"« t^e vessel 
»«• I was impatient to be^^ii li^'f ^"^.^ ^ great trial to 







'iew iliat I 
out college 
and strong 

The devil 
II the Lord 
ith me and 
d all fear ; 

could not 
fore must 
^y or other 
ith of Oc. 
'' for me, 
\Sot but a 

hy some 
Its that I 
for what ; 

"vvere al- 
at desire 
■^ny relii- 
of young 

he time 


ay with 

^ broth- 


-n ; for 

od had 
for I 

J) and 
to it, 


iai to 







as God might have led me. I remain jd a few days, and 
heard that the vessel was seized, and would ncl get clear 
until the Spring. O the trial that 1 was now under ; the 
devil setting in .it the same time, tellh-.g- me, H-night i.ow 
be convinced, God had not called mc to pi-eacl:, be- 
cause, ii" he had, he would have found out ways for me to 
have gone, and get learning, as he knew I coidd not preach 
v/ith<jul it. At tl;e same thu^ 1 heard iVom iwy rv:lativ;ns, 
that they had all taken the small pox, and tiiey advised me 
by all means to return, v. hich I finally diil (aUhou;.';h with a 
heavy heart,) and received with them the diblemper by inoc- 
ulation ; as it was spreadin:; through the whole town. 
Neither the takinj^ of ii the tenth part-?}!' the trial to my 
mind as my disappointment was, 1 not knowing ^\hat to do, 
being still under great imi^resslons about \\\\ call, v. hicli I 
could not throw oif. \V''e were all, by the great goodr.ess 
of God, carried safe throueh the disteiur-er. lUv father's 
family, and those that were married to my sisters, aixl 
their families, excepting one ialant. Indeed thei-e w,.;s but 
one more, 1 think, in the whole towio, taat died ol' the 
distemper. So uncommonly blt;ssed wiis the use cfiiicc- 

1 STILL retained a continual dra\\ini2: to the ^\ork of 
the ministry, and was impatient to pioelaini the everlasting 
gospel : although I sometimes ["eared, it was only my proud 
heart that aspired after a public station in the world, to make 
a great shew, and court the applause of men : but had I 
known how much it would have turned to the reverse, 1 
might have had a weapon against the enemy ; for altliougii 
those that go without the power of the gospel under a form 
of religion, may have but few trials, and but little opposi- 
tion ; yet whoever goes in the name of Jesus with the ])ow- 
er of the gospel must never expect the applause of the 
world, but on the contrary many irowns ; but when 1 vvas 
brought near to God, and enjoyed his presence, I could say 
with all my heart (as I often told the Lord) that 1 would 
rather be called immediately out of time into eternity, than 
to be left to go in the name of God without his call, and 
without his spirit to lead and bless me, (it was now about 
Novsmoer) and thouj^h i had been greatly attached to the 
world, courting its esteem and enjoyments; yet I think I 
cotdd say with all my soul, that I rather would go with a 
dispensation of the gospel to my fellow-inen (although the 



I 'I 




trials may be ever so threat) if God would go with mc, tharr 
to be the bole monarch of the universe. 

Ad OUT tliis time I was solicited by some of the officers 
». to put in for a commission in the mihtia ; I utterly re- 
fused to take c'K step in pursuit of it ; yet after this, when 
I g-ot a little in the dark, I be^an to wisli that I had taken 
it ; for that grandem* aiul the esteem of the world, which 
tlie devil and my own corrupt nature sug-^ested, I might 
oi}tain by success in a few years, began to look pleasant to 
me, like Kve*s apples, pleasant to the eyes, and a fruit to be 
desired : but while I was meditating on this, the Lord broke 
iiito my soul with the revivals of his grace, the sweetness 
of his love ; and shewed me the vanity of all things here be- 
low, and tiie worth of souls, v/hich gave me such a longing 
desire to go forth with the gospel, and proclaim the Re- 
deemer's name, that my soul cried out. Send me, send me, 

Lord God, in tliy blessed name, and take away all honour, 
but the glory of the cross, and all commissions but a com- 
mission from heaven to go forth, and enlist my fellow-mor- 
tals to fight under the banners of King Jesus : and my soul 
rejoices to take it for my whole portion, while on this mor- 
tal stage. Sometimes I feared that I was only imposed upon 
by the devil and my proud heart, and tried myself, whether 

1 did not covet to have a great name in the world, and to be- 
come popular. 

One day, being under great trials of mind, one of my 
. brothers in law spoke to me, and asked me if I was fully 
satisfied, that I w as called to preach the gospel ? I told him 
yes. He asked me then, what I was waiting for ? If God 
had called me, I ought immediately to go, and not wait for 
any more learning ; God was able to give me all the assis- 
tance that I needed. I answered, that although I was con- 
vinced that God had called me, vet I could aot think that it 
was his will for me to proceed, until that he had given me 
more human wisdom. Why, said he, has not Christ learn- 
ing enough ? Is he not able to teach you in half an hour in 
his school, more than you'll be able to obtain in the seats of 
human learning all your life. This I told him, was very 
true ; yet I thought I needed more of man's wisdom and 
learning than what I had. He told me that my success in 
the gospel did not consist in knowing so much myself, as 
in the spirit of God's going with me, whiqh certainly would 
go with me, if God had called me. I told him if the Lord 






designed that 1 should preach with no more Icarnin^^ than 
I had, he would certainly have made it manifest some way 
or other, lie answered, lie thought it was already evident- 
ly manifest, when a small number oi people did meet in tlie 
town every sabbath day, and I wiih them, and no minister, 
nor any one to ^ive a word of exhortation ; and 1 believe it 
would be very acceptable to the christians of that society, if 
you was to improve. Tliia bore much on my mind, and led 
me to examine more closely, whether the Lord had really 
called me ; and what he would call me for, if he did not in- 
tend that I should i)reach*: but still I thoui^ht he was con- 
fined to human learnini^, and that he would not send me 
without it ; but would find out some way to give it to me. 

the prejudices of education I I had heard so nmch of 
ministers coming through the, orders of men, that it seemed 
to be an infallible rule. But, blessed be the Lord, he still 
followed me with divine impressions on my mind to that 
degree, that I could hardly engage in any worldly employ- 
ment ; for it seemed as if it was not my work, and that I 
was out of my duty all this time. O what a privilege it ap- 
peared to me, and what a happy prospect, when I thought 

1 should one day speak in the name of the Lord God. The 
gospel appeared glorious, and my soul longed to be engag- 
ed in proclaiming the wonders of redeeming love. O, I 
could say many days and wctks, that I would have chosen 
it for my portion as long as life should remain, and prefer it 
above any blessing or enjoyment that God could give me. 
Yea, sometimes my heart would leap for joy, when I 
thought of going in the name of the Lord, and would not 
regard any trials in the way, if God would only go with me, 
and give me strength equal to my day. Sometimes I did 
not doubt, but I should soon see the the happy moment, 
that God would find out some way for me to go forth ; 
and O when I got near to God, it would be the first re- 
quest I had to make, that God would take me in his hand, 
and use me in his vineyard until my dyinjjj day. 

About the 1 3th or 14th day of April, 1776, I began 
to see that I had all this time been led astray by labouring 
so much after human learning and wisdom, and had held 
back from the call of God. One day in my meditation 1 
had such a discovery of Christ's having every thing 1 
needed, and that it was all miiie, that I saw I needed no- 
thing to qualify me but Christ J and that if I had all the 



Hi in 




ivisdom that could ever be obtained liy mortals, without hav- 
ini^ the spirit of Christ with me, I should never have any 
success in preaching ; and if Christ went with me I should 
have all in all. And () what a wilUngness I fell in my soul 
to go in his name and strength, depending on him alone. I 
found I had notliing more to inquire into, but whether God 
had called me : for he knew what learning I had, and could 
have in the course of liis providence brought me through 
all the seats of learning, that ever man went through, to- 
gether M'ith all the orders of men ; but he had not ; there- 
fore I had nothing else to observe, but the call of God : and 
when I got near to him and enjoyed a sense of divine things, 
I was fully convinced (though in the dark I would often 
doubt) and was now determined to come forward the first 
opportunity I could get. The 18th April, being a day set 
apart for fasting and prayer, I came out and spoke by way 
of exhortation, had some liberty, but was under great tri- 
als the night following, when I was watching with a young 
man, that appeared to be near his end. The devil was all 
night against me, telling me that I had gone astray, and 
had no business to speak, and that I had wounded the cause 
of Christ in so doing : and so powerful and great was the 
temptation, that I was about to make a promise, that I 
never would speak again in public while I lived ; for I had 
certainly gone astray ; for if I had not, I should not be un- 
der such trials. But when I was about to make a vow, 
never to speak again in public, a thought came into my 
mind, that it was now not a proper time, for if I intended to 
make such a promise,! ought to take a time when I had no- 
thing to encumber my mind, and when I should get near to 
God, with nothing to interrupt me : I then put off the vow 
until morning, intending to seek a convenient opportunity 
for it. Accordingly I went early in the morning in the 
woods, and endeavoured to lay my case before God, and the 
Lord gave me a nearness to him : and O what a change of 
mind I found ; for I was willing then to make ten vows 
that I would speak, and that the first opportunity, which 
accordingly I did the next sabbath. I spoke a few words 
the Saturday before to my parents to know their minds, and 
although they did not dissuade me, yet I saw it was not a- 
greeable to them. This was x great trial to me ; and the 
devil made a great use of it for my discouragement, telling 
me, that I held them to be christians, and 1 saw they were 




against it, which was an eviclenrt , ihat it was not tlic will 
of God. But the Lord carried nn, throiigh it all ; and I 
iound I must go and speak before . ^rn ; a't'^ouj^h 1 saw 
at the same time that it was disagreeable to them, 'i iiey dis- 
coursed as if they were jealous thati was under a delusion ; 
buttwo or three of my christian friends were ^::reedin<j!; solic- 
itous for me to proceed : vvliich by the Grace ot uod 1 did, 
and it immediately spread abroad over the whole place, 
and caused manv to come out of curiosity ; but the Lord 
gave me boldness to speak. I spoke from the following 
words: If thou art wise, thou art wise for thyself, but if 
thou scornest, thou alone shaltbear it. There seemed to be a 
great attention paid by some ; although others made a 
scoff, but some seemed to be taken hold of, and some chris- 
tians took me by the hand, and bid me God speed : but all 
the trials I met from without were not equal to those with- 
in, I still continued improving every Sabbath-day, being 
sometimes in the dark and sometimes in the light ; and 
when I was in darkness, and did not find the spirit of God 
with me, when speaking, I would be ready to sink, and 
thought I would preach no more ; and when I got life and 
liberty again, my strength and my resolutions were renew- 
ed ; and thus God dealt with me, and carried me through 
various scenes. 

It being reported at this time that Henry Allinc 
was turned New- Light preacher, many would come from 
other towns, even whole boat-loads. Some came to hear 
what the babler had to say ; some came with gladness of 
heart that God had raised up one to speak in his name ; and 
some come to make a scotf, but it did not seem to trouble 
me much ; for I trust God was with me and supported and 
enabled me to face a frowning world. The greatest trials 
1 met with were from my parents, who were so much a- 
gainst my improving, as sometimes to leave the house as I 
was speaking. O how it would cut me sometimes ; but, 
blessed be God, he not only carried me through these tri- 
als ; but likewise so opened their eyes, that they were as 
much engaged for me to preach the Gospel, as I was, and 
would have plucked out even their eyes for my encourage- 
ment. Thus God was kind to me in every respect, and ev- 
er worked for my good. He blessed my soul, supported 
my body, blessed my labours in some degree, increased my 
desires and my resolutions, lifted me above the fears and 

' I: 


RF.V, IIKNP.Y AT, link's 

trials ot' the \V(;i'ld, wcnied me in a great dcj^ree from tlit: 
fliitteiin;^ chunus of this worltl ol" sense, and increased my 

In- July I \vasln\itcdby one Joseph Baii.ey to preach 
at his housL- at Newport. I accordini^ly vent over, and found 
a great niiml)er of people attending : Cod gave me great 
bokhiess and freedom of speech in declaring the ^vonders 
of redeeming love : and although many came to watch for 
, my halting, yet they seemed to be struck with awe, and 
some of the christians after meeting gave me the iiand of 

I coxTiNUKD preaching every Sabbath, and wrought 
Mith my hands all the week ; and blessed be God for the 
happy lioui's I enjoyed in the field, and in private walks. 
() I enjoyed peace, that the world knows nothing of ; and 
I foimd un increasing resolution, to be for God and him on- 
ly. I was determined by ihe grace of God, that I would 
not have any other portion in this world but the Ciospel, 
which should be my everlasting portion : and I did really 
believe that I should be disentangled from all my seculai' 
employments, and have work in the Vineyard of the Lord 
and be engaged therein all my life. O, the very thoughts 
of going in the name of Christ, and being the means of 
bringing a soul to his love, woidd often make my soul re- 

September 27th. I rode with some of my christian 
friends to Newport, in order to gather a visible church, to 
walk in the order of the Gospel; v/Lich had been some 
months in agitation. I was chosen to draw the articles, 
with the assistance of some brethren. Some articles were 
drawn, and the next day signed by some brethren. I 
preached a sermon, and the Lord seemed to own us. The 
tgason that we called for no assistance from other church- 
es was, because we did not think the churches, in those 
parts were churches of Christ, but had only a dry form 
without religion. The church was gathered both of Bap- 
tists and Co>igregationals ; for we did not think that such 
small non-essentilals, as different opinions about water Bap- 
tism, were sufficient to break any fellowship, and to obstruct 
building together among the true citizens of Zion : and the 
Lord owned and answered us, and blessed us by increasing 
the gifts, graces and the numbers of the small, feeble band. 
Bcitthc powers of darkness and church of antiQlirist rose 




'1 from thf 
reused my 

to preach 

and found 

; m^; threat 

e Avonders 

watch for 

awe, and 

e hand of 

:l wrought 
od for the 
vate walks, 
it^ of ; and 
ind him on- 
lat I would 
he Gospel, 
I did rtally 
my F.cculav 
)f the Lord 
•y thoughts 
means of 
ny soul re- 

y christian 
church, to 
been some 
tie articles, 
tides were 
thren. I 
1 us. The 
er church - 
:, in those 
dry form 
ith of 13 ap- 
that such 
,vater Bap- 
to obstruct 
n : and the 
eble band, 
hrist rose 


njjainst it from every quarter, both in public and pri- 

We then returned to Falmouth, where I remained 
preaching every Sabbath imtil the 27th of October, when we 
went over to Newport again,and set apart by ordination two 
elders : this was done without any assistance from any other 
church ; and these elders came forward to lead the church,^, 
as far as their gifts and graces extended. - 

November 3d. As I was invited to Horton, I preach- 
ed there two sermons on the Sabbath-day, which seemed 
to have much effect, and gained the attention of the people. 
I was desired to preach again in the evening, which I did, 
and the Lord was there. It was a strange thing \o seq a 
young man, who had often been there a frolickmg-how 
preaching the everlasting gospel. The people seemed to 
have hearing ears, and it left a solemn sense on some 
youths. I remained there till Tuesday evening and preach- 
ed again ; when there was such a throng of hearers, that 
the house could not contain them ; and some of them were 
that evening convicted with power. As I was returning 
home to Falmouth, I met a young man who desired me to 
attend a funeral. I accordingly went, and preached a ser- 
mon, and there was a great solemnity on the people, I 
saw there a young man from Cornwallis, who desired mc 
to come over there as soon as possible ; he would inform 
the people of it and get a place appointed for meeting ♦ I 
told him I was willing to go wherever God called me, and 
would oome there, if it appeared to be my duty, as soon as 
possible. I then went home to Falmouth, and preached indif- 
ferent places, and the Lord was with me. We had blessed 
days; for the Lord was reviving a work of grace. Many 
under a load of sin cried out what shall we do to be saved ? 
and the saints seemed much revived, came out and witnes- 
sed for God. In a short time some more souls were bom 
to Christ, they came out, and declared what God had done 
for their souls. O what a blessed change had taken place 
in that town. O may the praise resound to the Redeem- 
er's name. 

November the 29th, I set out for Cornwallis, rode as 
far as Horton, and from thence to Cornwallis. Being wea- 
ry and very wet (for it had rained very hard that day) I 
stopped In the borders of the town that night : the next 

' 'I 




i II 



morning being still wet, I was something discouraged, 
fearing 1 should lose the opportunity of preaching ; being 
a stranger in the place, and my horse being taken lame, 1 
was obliged to change him. I then rode to the further part 
of the town, where the meeting was appointed ; but the 
people, not expecting me to come by reason o.f the weath- 
er, had not assembled, but when they heard that I was 
come, they immediately gathered a large congregation time 
enough to preach one sermon : the Lord was there, and 
gave me great freedom ; I was wholly undaunted. In the 
evening 1 preached again. The next day I rode about four 
miles and preached again, when the Lord began to set the 
word home w ith power on some of the hearers. Many peo- 
ple attended, hcanng that there was a wild youth lately con- 
verted and turned preacher. The standing minister of, 
and then at the place, came to hear, and seemed determin- 

I ed to dash me : but he and all the rest were to me then as 
worms of the dust like myself. He had been the minister 
of the town, but on account of some division between him 
and his people he was dismissed and did not seem pleased 
with my coming into the town. I returned to Morton, 
where I preached two sermons as I passed throi • and 
God was pleased to take hold of the liearts of som^ »yi the 
hearers, and never left them, until they were brought to the 
knowledge of the Redeemer. 

1777, January. O the astonishing goodness to me an 
unworthy mortal. I am sometimes astonished, when I consi- 
der what he hath done for me : but a short time ago I was in 
this very town frolicking and wallowing in all manner of 
sin and vanity ; and am now through the riches of free un- 
bounded grace, I trust in the name of Jesus, proclaiming 
the wonders of redeeming love. O that God would go on 
m mercy to me,keep me humble,and devote me to his praise. 
January 15th. I went to Newport where I remain- 
ed preaching for five days ; and the people being desirous 
to hear, an<d much scattered, I preached every day. O 
that the word might prove a blessing to their precious 
souls. I then returned to Falmouth, and remained there 
preaching and visiting the people until the 3d of February, . 

r- vherc there still appeared something of a work of God. O 
that it might be continued for the conversion of many souls. 
I now thought it time to return to Cornwallis again. I set 
•lit and rode to Horton, where I preached as I passed 


ng ; being 
en lame, 1 
irther part 
, ; but the 
the weath- 
that I was 
jation time 
there, and 
id. In the 
; about four 
to set the 
Many peo- 
i lately con- 
ninister of, 
1 determin- 
me then as 
he minister 
et"Nveen him 
L-m pleased 
to Morton, 
:oi • and 
Dm- ^i the 
night lo the 

iS to me an 
golwas in 
manner of 
of free un- 
|ould go on 
his praise. 
I remain - 
Ig desirous 
|y day. O 
lined there 
February, . 
lofGod. O 
lany souls, 
tain. I set 
I passed 




through, and came to Cornvvallis, where I remained but 
four days. I preached very often, and the people seemed 
to be alarmed and greatly -attentive to the gospel. I re- 
turned through llorton again, where I met with some op- 
position ; but God wus kind to mc, and gave me strtngtli U) 
iiice a frownin;^ world. Once a standhig minister got up 
vhile I was preaching and opposed, but the people jmid no 
regard to it and he left the house. O that Gud would open 
his eyes before it was too late ; for what a shocking thing 
it is that a man should pretend to preach that gospel, \\hich 
he is at enmity against, ruining his own soul and those of 
others. O the injury that is done by blind leaders to pre- 
cious and immortal souls. Yea I do not believe there are 
any men on earth who do so much damage to tlie Re- 
deemer's Kingdom, as those unconverted ministers. () 
that God would change their hearts. I then rode to Fal- 
mouth, spent some happy houis with Uie christians there 
in the blessed gospeU 1 went t»o Newport, and being in 
haste, preached there but two sermons, and then returned 
to Falmouth, where I remained until the 15th of February. 
The christians seemed revived, and some sinners under a 
load of sin inquiring after salvation. I then rode to llor- 
ton, and preached there, and foimd the Lord kind to me 
beyond all expression. O that I could continually live to 
his praise. I then went to Cornwallis, and got there in the 
evening ; but as they had heard of my coming, there was 
a great throng of people that attended, and there began now 
to be a considerable work in the town. A paper was drawn 
up, and signed by about sixty persons, entreating me to a- 
gree to stay with them for some time : but I gave them no 
other encouragement, than that I would visit them as often 
as I could ; for I dare not settle down in any place for a time, 
as it did not appear to me to be my duty. I went from 
Cornwallis again to Falmouth and Newport, and preached 
every day, for there seemed to be a thirst for the word. 

March the 25th, I was sent for to visit a young man, 
who had been a companion of mine in sin and vanity ; he 
never manifested any change, and deceased in about two 
days ; which was very aftecting to me, remembering how 
many hours and nights I had been with him in frolicks. 
1 preached a funeral sermon and then rode to llorton, 
where 1 preached, and visited some under conviction, who 
seemed not far from the kingdom. I then proceeded to 


..• \A v\y 

■vv*.*^'*^*.^ / J 

X nuu iiot the- 


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Cornwallis, where the work of God was still reviving, and 
. there was a great opposition, as there njost commonly ig 
from legal professors and pharisees ; who made use of eve- 
ry method they could to obstruct the work ; disputing a- 
bout the right of ordination^ and the right door for minis- 
ters to come in, and would often come to dispute with me 
about it. I toid them I was very ready at any time to give 
my sentiment about the power and right of ordination either 
in public or private, and prove it by the word of God (as I 
. since have done it from the press in a book entitled, Two 
I Mites) but still I chose to spend my time as much as possi- 
ble in somethinp- of more importance, that is, in preaching 
the gospel, and labouring for the welfare of precious and 
immor'd souls ; for I thought it more for the furtherance 
of my Master's cause to labour for the vitals of rehgion 
than to dispute about tht tradition of the fathers and exter- 
nal observations. Sometimes when I have met with a 
number, who came on purpose to dispute, w hen I saw tnem 
exercised v/ith a bad spirit, would leave the house, and told 
them, I would have nothing to say to them, when they dis- 
covered such a spirit. Sometimes they would follow me 
from house to house, and pretend, they were contending 
for the faith once delivered to the saints. I told them, I 
did not doubt, but they might think so ; for Saul verily 
thought, he was doing God*s service, when persecuting the 
saints of God. And thus the poor blind Pharisees will 
often contend about their poor dry forms of religion, and 
despise the spirit of God as a delusion, at the same time 
pretending that they are friends to the cause of Christ, 
wnd thereby ruin their own souls and those of others. 

May the 3d, I returned to Falmouth. O what differ- 
ent a])prehensions a prospect of death often occasions en a 
person's mind. 1 was now sent for by one D, S. on his 
death-bed ; who had been one of the most inveterate foes 
I had among men ; he would often curse me and threaten 
me ; but now when 1 went in the house, he reached out 
his hand, and in an affecting manner said, if he had done me 
any wrong, he begged my forgiveness, and would, if possi- 
ble, restore me four-fold, I answered I had nothing against 
him on my own account, neither had I, as I knew of, until 
then, discoursed with him concerning the state of his soul . 
He seemed very penitent ; and gave me an account of 
something ok light he lately receivedi and some manifesta- 


iving, and 
nmonly ig 
jse of eve- 
jputing a- 
for minis- 
with mc 
ne to give 
tion either 
God (as I 
tied, Two 
1 as possi- 
cioiis and 
F religion - 
md exter- 
:t with a 
saw tnem 
, and told 
they dis- 
ollow me 
them, I 
ul verily 
uting the 
sees will 
jion, and 
ime time 
f Christ, 

at differ- 
)ns en a 
). on his 
rate toes 
hcd out 
done me 
if possi- 
; against 
of, until 
lis soul, 
ount of 



tlon of joy, which seemed rather to give one a hope of him, 
but I was not fully satisfied. He insisted on my company 
as much as possible until he died. I attended his funeral 
and preached a sermon. I remained in town until the 16th 
May, and then set out for Annapolis, as I had promised, and 
preached that evening at liorton ; the next day I rode to 
Cornwallis, stayed over the sabbath and preached ; and, 
blessed be God, although there was much opposition from 
earth and hell, the work, of God was still reviving. IVIon- 
day evening, met with a number of men, enemies to j 
the work, wiih the minister with them, who conducted in 
so unchristian like manner, that I was obliged to keep my 
tongue as with a bridle, lest I should speak unadvisedly vvitli 
my lips. Indee'! the contest rose so high, and they disputed 
with so much w^n'mth, that I had not time to vindicate the 
truth, without proceeding in a manner I never was obliged 
to before. I took out my watcli, and held it on my knee, 
telling them, that I did not come there to wrangle with 
them, but to defend the truth, which I could not do for want 
of an opportunity, therefore I intended to allow each one 
five minutes to discourse, and I would have my five min- 
utes also, and if any man exceeded fi^ e minutes I would 
leave the room immediately. They seemed much sur- 
prised ; but I told them, they could not think it hard nor 
strange ; when they had observed that for some time, I 
could not say a word, but sat and heard them reflect ; after 
which I was enabled to the conviction of the spectators to 
hold up light and support the truth. But I may say at the 
best, such disputes arc very unprofitable, and 1 hope for the 
future to be more guarded against such waste of time, for 
1 would rather have the enemy say, that I was afraid to 
hold the contest than to be guilty of spending time so un- 
profitably. The work of God was so powerful in this 
town, tiiat I preached sometimes two sermons a day for 
five or six days together, and the people attended in great 
numbers. I discoursed of little else but religion night and ^ 

May the 27th I set out for Annapolis from Cornwal- 
lis : and a blessed day it was to my soul. I had much of 
the presence of God, and faith to believe that God would go 
with me, and not let my journey be in vain : and although 
I was alone (with regard to company) yet I Iiad not the 

' E2 

!■ : 



',i;i •^^ 

! :l 

ill '■ 
. i ■ 

til i\\' 


li '.; 1 




least concern on my mind, though going among strangers, - 
and felt as wilHng to go and venture on the Lord, as to 
preach, where I was ever so intimate. I rode 24 miles, 
and although the people were very civil, yet I had so much 
' of the presence of God, that I rather chose to be alone, be- 
cause it was hard singing the Lord's song in a strange land.. 
I walked out into the woods and spent most of the evening 
there, and enjoyed what the world knows nothing of. O 
the wondrous love and condescension of God to a worm of 
the dust ! What shall I say, what shall I think, or what re- 
turns shall I make ? 

How can the great Jehovah sstoop so low' 
To save my soul from everlasting wo, 
And lead me by his love 'vhere'er I go ? 
Amazing grace ! that such an heir of hell 
Sould ever in the arms, of Jesus dwell. 

The next day I rode 16 miles, and remained until the 
sabbath. The people gave greut attention when I preach- 
ed, but I did not see any great work of conviction on their 
minds. There was a popish priest amongst the hearers, 
who was greatly enraged, after the sermon was over, at the 
doci^ine I preached, but said nothing to me. The next day 
I rode with a young man to see the minister of the place ; 
but I soon found by discoursing with him, sufficient reason to 
\ fear, that the man was an utter stranger to conversion, and 
' therefore preached, (or rather read) an unknown God.. 
The next day I crossed the river.. The committee of the 
meeting house on that side of the water came to desire me 
to preach. I went accordingly and preached, and great 
numbers attended. Soon after they came with a request, 
that I would tarry with them for a season, but I refused, 
telling them, I did not dare to do it, as 1 had no call from 
God to settle any where. I staid the sabbath over, and 
told them, that 1 would visit them as of tn as I could* I 
then rode down to the town ot Annapolis, crossed the river, 
preached a lecture, and visited many people.. But O the 
darkness of the land (called mristians too.) The name of 
conversion, or tie power of religion, was rai'ely mentioned. 
Their minister woiild only re?t! over an old dry lesson of 
morals and forms which tliey hiul written down. Blind lead- 
ers ol the blind, O that (iod would have mercy on them, 
and open their eyes, before they and their hearers fall irre- 
coverably into eternal ruin. 1 then rode again up to Wil- 



d, as to 
4 miles, 
so much 
lone, be- 
(ige land., 
gof. O 
worm of 
what re- 

until the 
on their 
r, at the 
Inext day 
e place ; 
eason to 
ion, and 
n God., 
e of the 
isire me 
id great 
] refused, 
lall from 
^er, and 
)ukL I 
[le river, 

O the 
mine of 

isson of 

id lead- 
fall irre- 
Ito Wil- 

mot, and preached 4 or 5 days there ; where, blessed bs 
God, there began to be a work of grace, and many were 
pricked to the heart, and crying out under the weight of 
their sins. Yea they were so thristing for the word, that 
when I came away 6 or 7 double horses came with me a 
number of miles. I then stopped and staid all night, and 
preached again the next morning ; then I bid them farewell 
and left them ; some seemed to be not far from tlie king- 
dom. And, blessed be my Lord and Master, for the suc- 
cess of my journey. Through his grace, I trust some of 
those souls will have cause forever to praise his blessed 
name for the messages r>f peace sent by me. a worm of the\ 
dust. When I came to Cornwallis I heard that there were'^ 
^ two ministers come from Cobequid (without my requesting) ■ 
to inquire into my principles and preaching. Tin^y were 
men that I had heard of, but never seen. 1 went to hear 
them preach, and had reason to hope that one of tliem was 
a minister ol Christ, although something sunk into a form 
without the p^jwer. The week following they both came 
to see me with a number of men, whom I knew to be cue- • 
mies to the power of religion, which made me suspect, tliey 
did not come out of love and tenderness. However, though I 
had not requested their coming to examine me, I was very 
• ready to discourse with them. I vindicaied my principlea 
of religion. They inquired after my right to preach. 1 
told them, I trusted my authority was from heaven ; but !• 
did not know whether it was needful to discover it to them, 
finding them much against tlie power. They asked me 
for my credentials. I immediately shewed them what I 
had from the ciiurch, which they condemned, because it 
was not from a soci ty of ministers : which caused a dis- 
pute to begin, they affirming that 1 iiad no right to preach,* 
W'thout a license from a society of ministers, and I affirm- 
ed that I had. They likewise thoug!it it next to impossi- 
ble for a man to be called to preach, wIvj iiad no college 
learnin;^. Rut the chief debate w^s about the nower of or- 
dination, which they pret/Mv'.ol was handed down by a sue- * 
ccssive chain from the A])o;>les ; w>.ich T endeavf>ured to 
shew them was too far brole i ever to retaii> the po-ver of or- 
dination that way, and toid t em T could ea*11y provt- it to 
be in the church. 'Thevseemel to reflect ba' d on avj. telling 
i me that I was breakinvi: thiout^h il' order. I <old them that 
,i;, there was no people in the woridmorr -•^^- " - ' ^ 



I! I 


,.i II! I 

trddkions of men than the church of Rome ; and where was 
uil their religion, or what had they but a dry form ? and 
therefore, although I strictly held to all the orders of God's 
house, yet 1 looked on the power of God's Spirit far more 
important than the traditions, the bare traditions of men. 
They signified they could not bid me God speed. I told 
them I did not request it. When they found I was es- 
tablished in my sentiments and not easily moved, they be* 
gan to be more moderate, and to advise me, making me an 
offer of their libraries, and what assisteuice they could 
give me, if 1 would leave oft* preachiug until I was better 
qiudified : I thanked them for their kindness, as 1 imagined 
they meant well ; but I told them the Lord knevr before he 
called me, how unqualified I was as to human learning, 
and as he had called me, I trusted he would qualify me for 
whatever he had for me to do. 1 told them besides, that 
the work of God was then prospering in my hands, and 
therefore I did not dare to desert it. They told me they 
looked on me as a stiff young man, and then went away. 
I remained in Corawallis about five days, preached often, 
raid visited those under conviction, and the Lord was with 
me, and blessed my labours, and may his blessed name 
have the praise. 

July the 5th. I went from CornwaUis to Hortonand 
preached there once ; from thence I went to Falmouth, 
where I had the happiness to find one of my sisters, who 
had long been under conviction, and in such great distress, 
that she was sometimes almost ready to sink (yea to that 
degree was her distress of mind, that it consumed the flesh 
off of her body, and brought her very low) had found the 
blessed Redeemer, and was rejoicing in his love, telling 
what God had done for her soul. O the wonders of God's 
indulgent hand to the children of men ! How great is his 
love I How unbounded is his grace I O that I was al- 
ways filled with gratitude. I saw there also three young 
men who came upwards of 40 miles under great distress 
of mind to hear the gospel ; two of them have since been 
brought to the knowledge of Redeeming love. I remained 
in Falmouth until the 20th of July,and there appearedacon- 
siderable stir among many of the young peojile, inquiring 
afterthe blessed Jesus. O that they might be brought to the 
knowledge of Him. I went then over to Newport, preach- 
ed on the Sabbath in the field, the house not being able to 



md >7here was 
J form ? and 
'ders of God's 
pirit far more 
ions of men. 
peed. I told 
r»d I was es« 
)ved, they be- 
taking me an 
f; they could 

I was better 
is 1 imagined 
lew before he 
iian learning, 
[ualify me for 

besides, that 

hands, and 

told me they 

went away, 
cached often , 
)rd was with 
)lessed name 

) Falmouth, 
sisters, who 
'tat distress, 
[yea to that 
ned the flesh 
d found the 
love, telling 
ers of God's 
great is his 
t I was al- 
three young 
eat distress 
K since been 

I remained 
i, inquiring 
■ought to the 
ort, preach- 
eing able to 



contain the people ; and the Lord was there with his Spir- 
it. I then returned to Falmouth, and from thence went 
through Horton to Comwallis, where I found the work of 
Ciod still prospering. A great number met almost every even- 
ing, and continued until eleven and twelve o'clock at night, 
praying, exhorting, singing, some of them telling what 
God had done for their souls, and some groaning under a 
load of sin. 

August the 3d. A committee was chosen by the 
people, and came with a request to me, that I would engage 
wilh them a certain season, because they wanted my as- 
sistance in gathering together m church order. My an- 
swer to them in writing was as follows :— 

In answer to your request as a committee I must ac- 
quaint you first — That although on account of the divisions 
now existing in this town you may reasonably imagine that 
it is not very a?!;reeable for me to remain, yet considering 
your destitute circumstances together with the desire of so 
great a number of people, and trusting thac the Almighty 
God ( without whom we can do nothing) will undertake to 
heal our divisions by increasing a christian like spirit of love 
among us, I must acknowledge as yet it appears my duty 
to rem? in. But secondly as the circumstances of the coun- 
try now is, I am under some obligations to visit the neigh- 
boring towns, which are alike destitute, for which reason I 
cannot reside here all the time ; therefore I have concluded) 
after my return from Annapolis, (if God permit) to reside 
here six months of the nine ensuing months. Thirdly as 
for many reasons, it has been in agitation for sometime, my 
further introduction into the work of the ministry, which 
cannot be effected until some better regulations (respecting 
the church affairs) shall be made, no w when by the com- 
mittees, church or members of the church gospel-meas- 
ures shall be taken to effect the same ; I shall then stand 
t-eady, as I promised, to proceed so far as directed by the 
word and Spirit of God. Fourthly and lastly. As for the 
methods and conditions of my being supported as a gospel- 
minister, I shall wholly leave it to your discretion and the 
word of God : and subscyribe myself 

The sinner's friend and servant, and well- 
wisher af your everlasting happiness, 


ill 111. ^ 


I ,1 

Which answer gave great satisfaction to both the commit- 
tee and the people. 

August the i4th. I set out with a young man, who 
came for me to go again to Annapolis. I rode through all 
the county of Annapolis, preached night and day, and vis- 
iting the people, found the work of God increasing ; some 
souls born to Christ rejoicing in the Redeemer's love, and 
others having no rest night nor day, but groaning under a 
sense of their condition. I'or my own part, (blessed be God) 
I found still longingdesires to serve those poor mourning souls 
in the name of my Lord and Master. Yea I thought there 
was nothing, that Go4«ould do for me, would make me so 
rejoice as to send me with glad tidings to poor perishing 
souls, and mourning sinners. I preached so often and rode 
so much, that sometimes I would seem almost worn out ; 
and yet in a few hours would be bo refreshed, that I could la- 
bour again for twelve hours in discoursing,praying, preach-, 
ing and exhorting, and feel strong on my lungs. O the 
goodness of God to me a worm i What storms and fa- 
tigues both in body and mind has he carried me through. 
O what happy hours have I enjoyed in his vineyard night 
and day. When I had preached through all the county, I 
returned to Cornwallis, where I expected to stay some time ; 
but there came a young man from Falmouth desiring me 
to come and visit some people, who were sick, and had a great 
desire to see me, I accordingly went. I had preached but 
one sermon and visited the sick but a few hours, when I 
was sent for from Cornwallis, to attend a funeral there of 
a woman, who died very suddenly. She was well and 
made her cheese in the morning, and died before ten o'- 
clock in the forenoon. I remained now in Cornwallis for 
some time s preached very often, and visited the people, es- 
pecially those under the work of the Spirit. In the mean 
while came some of the standing ministers, offering to li- 
cense me, if I would acknowledge, that I had done wrong, 
in preaching so long, though with the approbation of the 
churches, without a license from the ministers. I told them 
that I was so far from acknowledging that I had done 
wrong in preaching by receiving only the approbation or 
credentials from the church, that I still held the church to 
have the prerogative, and intended to use what influence I 
could until my dying day to .^estore that power, which the 
ministers had robbed the churches of, as far as God shall 

ed on the Sabbath in the field, the house pot being able to 




the commit- 

ng man, wlio 
^ thrcugh all 
day, and vis- 
ising ; some 
:r's love, and 
ing under a 
ssed be God) 
mrning souls 
lought there 
make me so 
r perishing 
;en and rode 

worn out ; 
at I could Ja- 
ng^ preach- 
es. O the 
ms and fa- 
e through, 
yard night 
e county, I 
esiring me 
lad a great 
cached but 
s, when I 
\1 there of 

well and 
re ten o'- 
iT/allis for 
eople, es- 
he mean 
^ing to li- 
le wrong, 
1 of the ^ 
old them 
ad done 
:)ation or 
hurch to 
iuence I 
hich the 
od shull 

enable me. After this I went to Falmouth, where I remain- 
till the 26th of October, enjoyed some happiness, aiid hap- 
py days among the people of God ; then went to Newport, 
remained there about three days and returned to Fal- 
mouth again ; and much of the the goodness of God I saw 
and enjoyed. I shall never be able to express with my pen 
the various scenes, which I went through in my soul. 
Sometimes rejoicing and then in great trials ; yet I am 
^ convinced that it will prove for my good. O tluit I could 
' always keep near to the meek and lowly Jesus. 

Bear me, thou nieek, thou everlasting dove. 
Above my trials on the wings oHove ; • 

f ' And grant me daily wisdom, lo^fl^and grace, 

That I with joy may run the christian race. 

I tHEN went to Cornwallis, where I found all my 
: friends well ; the christians all very lively in religion ; and 
some conrerts now declaring the sweetness of redeeming 
love, and what God had done for their souls. I oftentimes 
enjoyed much happiness among them, to sec them so cn- 
i gaged in the Redeemer's cause, and to see what love ce- 
mented their souls together. 
- The 20th November I set out for Wilmot. I ex- 

' pected some company to go with me, but was happily dis- 
appointed, as they were not agreeable to me. I was much 
indulged with the presence of my blessed Lord and Master. 
O who would not follow the blessed Lamb of God, to enjoy 
what I have often found in his blessed ways. I think I 
can say that sometimes I have rode miles and miles con- 
versing with God, and enjoyed that which the world could 
never give, nor take away : sometimes I would get down 
from my horse, and step in the woods and rejoice for some 
, time, and often wrestling with God, to go with me, and 
give me success, and have been blessed with a satisfactory 
evidence, that I should see his work prosper before I re- 
turned. When I came below the tovm, I found the Spirit 
of God still troubling the waters, and some souls happy ; 
although the opposition was very high, especially from the 
minister of the place, and many of his church. O the dam- 
age that is done by unconverted ministers, and legal pro- 
fessors. I have found them in my travels more inveterate 
against the power of religion, than the open profane. But, 
blessed be God, although they left no stone unturned to ob- 
struct what they called a delusion ; yet the work still in- 

ing able tc^ 




;' I'd 

!|: 1':' 




creased, and Cod gave me such a sense of divine things, 
that I endeavoured to pass by all the reproaches as much 
as possible. 

December. When I had been through the whole 
county, and had visited and preached to all the societies, I 
bid them farewell, committed them to God and returned to 
Cornwallis. I found the kindness and love of my blessed 
Jesus continued to me still. O that my soul was more 
humble at his blessed feet. It was the 20lh December 
when I returned to Cornwallis, where I found some of the 
christians more 1 old to speak in public, which I endeavour- 
ed to encourage as much as possible : some poor souls 
bowed down and m«|urning under a sense of their guilt ; 
while others, poor unhappy souls, were making a scoff and 
derision at the work of God. O that thev knew in this 

their day the things that belong to their peace, before they 
are forever hid from their eyes. It was enough to con- 
vince any one that it was the work of God to see the enmi- 
ty, rage and darkness of that siprit, that was night and day 
engaged against it. Many of those who were called chris- 
tians would labour hoiu's and hours with harsh reflections 
on those who were attending, where the waters were troub- 
led, to keep them from it. 

January 1st, 1778. I went to Falmouth, where it was 
enough to make a christian's heart rejoice to see the alteration 
of things. A little time ago they were going on in all man- 
ner of wickedness, frolicking, sin and vanity ; and now meet- 
ing to praise the Lord, the great Redeemer of mankind, 
and thirsting after the word of life. Some, who a few 
years ago were the ringleaders to vice, now singing Hosan- 
nas to the son of David, and live so exemplary, that they 
are an ornament to the gospel they profess. O may the 
blessed Jesus have all the praise. O what great things has 
God done for this desert land I The wilderness is become a 
fruitful field, and the desert blossoms as a rose. When I 
had been in town about three weeks I returned to Cornwal- 
lis, where I had likewise blessed days and hours ; for God 
was there of a truth ; and I spent some blessed moments 
with them. One evening after I was in bed, I was very 
much troubled in my mind, which seemed to forebode no 
good. I got up in the morning under gloomy apprehen- 
sions of some disagreeable turn, and remained so almost all 
the day ; in the evening I preached, after which I invited 

V J 

divine things, 
ches as much 

gh the whole 
lie societies, I 
nd returned to 
of my blessed 
)ul was more 
ih December 
d some of the 
1 I endeavour* 
le poor souls 
f their guilt ; 
ng a scoff and 
knew in this 
e, before they 
nough to COP- 
I see the enmi- 
night and day 
•e called chris- 
irsh reflections 
ivs were troub- 

i, where it was 
the alteration 
)n in all man- 
md now meet- 
of mankind, 
who a few 
[nging Hosan- 
UT, that they 

may the 
iat. things has 

is become a 
te. When I 

to Cornwal- 

s : for God 

Ised moments 

1 was very 
forebode no 

ly apprehen- 
1 so almost all 
lich I invited 




two of my christian friends to my lodging, one of them told 
me, he had had diirk and distressing hours for some time, 
occasioned by a certain text that bore upon his mind. I 
asked him what text it was. He answered the words arc 
these : Sleep on now and take thy rest : and he asked my 
mind about them. I immediately told him that it appear- 
Jk ed to me, the interpretation at that time carried a very 
^ gloomy aspect. He asked me what I learned from them to 
us in these days. I answered him thus, while I was striving - 
with my spirit and labouring among you for the salvation of 
souls, intreating you to be up and doing, while the waters 
were troubled, by watching and praying, which you have 
too much neglected, while I v^s with you, and now sleep 

;^ if you can ; for be assured there is a dying hour a coming. ' 
He said it expressed much the same to him. I then told 

■:, him what I had passed through in my own mind the night 
before, and how it bore on my mind. We went to my 

; lodging and about eleven o'clock at night, had us 1 may say 
,' very suddenly such horror of darkness, as was said Abra- 
ham was once in. My whole soul was benighted, and a 
; 4'^t:orm of temptation rose up against me so that I was oblig- 
^^€d to say with David, The strong bulls of Bashan have be- ' 
^set me around. O the darkness and distress of my mind. 
U'liis was the first distress, darkness or doubt of my standing " 
hat ever I had known since my conversion : for now I gave . 
iway to the enemy (it being new to me) so that I wholly 

'doubted my standing, that I tried to invalidate all the evi- 

jdcnces I had since my conversion of having enjoyed the 
presence of God, and to throw it all away:' yet I found 
something like an anchor of hope within the veil, which I 
could not get rid of; though I tried much, and prayed to 
God to take it away. O the unspeakable distress I was un- 
der I I could neither eat, drink nor sleep with any satis- 
faction ; for it was wholly new to me, so tliat I knew not 
what to do, what to say, where I had been, where I now 
was, nor where I was going. O my soul cried out to some 
unknown God. Help, help, O my God : if thou art mine ; 
if not, O my God undeceive me. My darkness and dis- 
tress was without any relief more than a minute at a tin.e, 

•for three days and three nights (as Jonah was) and I could 
feay with him, that I was in the belly of I. ell ; I v/cnt down 

io the bottom of the mour.tains, and the earth v ith her bars 

F . 




,t:i I 

y> iiu^' 

■; .i 


M'ere about mc. But my God remembered mc, and 
brought me again to rejoice in the wonders of his love, 
and to triumph over the powers of darkness. (.) the un- 
spinikable happiness my soul enjoyed when God delivered 
me. I am convinced it was all hi great love, yea, of unspeak- 
able benefit to fit me for the work I had before me, which 
God knew, though I did not. O let me remember, and for- 
ever adore his love. 

Fedruary the 20th, I went to Falmouth, and found my 
christian friends happy. I related to them the unccinmon 
scene I had been carried through, and some of what I had 
endured, and did still endure, and how God had appeared 
for my relief. They commiserated me, and rejoiced that 
God had brought me through it, and told, that it was all in 
love to me, to prepare me for what 1 was to pass through, 
and to fit me for a great work, and v/ould alt at last prove 
for my good, and the furtherance of the gospel : it likewise 
proved a means of stirring up their minds, and tlie minds 
of many others. I remained in Falmouth until the 10th of 
March, prcacliing, visiting and exhorting both saints and 
sinners, and then returned to Cornwallis ; where I sooh saw 
that gloomy and distressing day, which I had before seen 
at a distance. The small pox that had been through other 
towns very favourably, was now spreading and proving ve- 
ry mortal. Religion was as it were driven away, but sor- 
row and distress were there ; for numbers were down rnth 
that malignant distemper, and very corhmonly three buried 
in a day. O what a day of darkness this was ; for they 
were all taken down at once, as they were mostly under 
inoculation. Thus the judgments of God are (often as it 
was now) so far from working a reformation, or increas- 
ing religion ^ that it seemed to banish it, and chain the 
people's minds down under an excess of sorrow and slav- 
ish fear. O what a desolation spread through the town, 
until every house was tried with sickness or death, and eve- 
ry face gathered blackness. 

i^ PRiL the 17th, I went to Horton, preached there as I 
went through : but religion was likewise low there. I then 
went to Falmouth, where I remained a few days, spent 
much time with a woman under strong temptations : she 
bad been under conviction, and w^as now tempted to believe, 
that there was no mercy for her. O how strong are the 
powers of darkness on the minds of sinners, when broke 



\ tnc, and 
of bis love, 
(.) the im- 

)d delivered 


me, Avhich 

icr, und I'or- 

id found my 
what I had 
ad appeared 
rejoiced that 
it was all in 
iss through, 
at last prove 
: it likewise 
dthe minds 
I the 10th of 
h saints and 
re I sooH saw 
1 before seen 
irouc;h other 
i proving ve- 
tvay, but sor- 
•e down vath 
three buried 
'\s ; for they 
iiostly under 
e (often as it 
or increas- 
id chain the 
■ow and slav- 
^h the town, 
ith, and eve- 

led there as I 
here. I then 

days, spent 
3tations: she 
:ed to believe, 
ong are the 

when broke 


loose. But l)lcss'jd be God, he is our helper still, and in 
i\im we may rejoice. I then went to Newport, preached 
in a large barn, atul there appeared some movings of Ciod's 
Spirit, after which 1 retiu'ned with some christian friends 
to Tahnouth, where 1 enjoyed great satisfaction, when in 

M w the 3d, a number being met to spend the evening, 
about ten o'clock came in a young man from ConnvalHs af- 

^ ter me to go and see the womin of the house where 1 had 
boarded, who was at the point of death with tiie small pox ; 
this struck me to the heart, not on account of her death, but 
as to the state of her soul : for when I left lier last, she had 
not had any evidence of her conversion, but had been a long 
time under great distress. 1 immediately set out and rode 
all night; but when I came there (idthough I was grieved at 
losing her company, as I saw she \>as on the confines of eter- 
nity) yet my distress was removed, when I talked with her; 
for she gave me an account of her conversion the same day 
of my leaving her last, after I was gone. O how this rela- 
tion (especially finding it to be the gospel-work and having 
full fe'Iowship with her) made my heart leap for joy ; for 
my soul could witness, that it was a work of grace by the 
blessed Redeemer. She continued but two days, and left 
the world, taking flight, I trust, to the glorious realms of 
light. O shall I, shall I once join that sacred band, tell me 
O my God ; can it possibly be ? yes, through thy boundless 
grace it is, and I trust I shall. I staid at Cornwallis to at- 
tend the funeral, and I preached a funeral sermon from 1st 
Thessalonians 4th, from the 13th verse to the end. 

May the 27th, I went to Annapolis with a young man 
that came for me, where I remained about five weeks. O 
t!ie great goodness of God that I saw and enjoyed while 
there : but yet I am not suitably affected under a sense of 
his great goodness tov.ards me. O how can I ever get so 
cold as I do 1 O my Jesus, keep me awake ajid near to thy- 
self: let me never go a whoring ..fter other lovers. I went 
to Cornwallis, and when I came there the work of God was 
reviving again ; the chrissliuns seemed alarmed, some sin- 
ners awakened, and crying out after a Saviour, and some 
that had been awakened and gone back were again £;larm- 

=jed ; and there appeared a prospect of a revival. 6 the good- 
ness of God to me a worm ! what shall I render to him for 
all his benefits Wherever I go I find him kind to me : but 


I ■ 

1 1 


I I 






when I talk of returnln;j; to God, I am left with astonish' 
ment of joy, tluit he h:\s declared, he w ill have mercy and 
not sacrifice. I iicver have, nor never can make the least 
return ; yet )iis mercy is as free as ever, and he delights t(i 
do f^ood. C) that I could be hiniiblc at his feet, feel my 
nrAhinj^neFs and acknowledge his goodness. But O the re- 
mains of pride and unbeli<;f: O how they hang upon mef 
and bar me often fioni a sense of his love. Sometimes 1 
have my foes beneath my feet, and then how soon there a- 
1 iscs a host aj^ainst me, and I am wandering in captivity ; 
yet, blessed be God, they cannot keep mre long ; my Jesu» 
gives me the vu tory again. 

July the 3d^ I went to Horton where I preached and 
fnjoyed some happy hours : Biit O my ungrateful heart, 
that it is not more uHected under a sense of God's good- 
ness ! Trom Ilorton I wont to valmouth, where I found 
many of the christians much indulg»'d with great discover- 
ies of divine truths, and m.anifestaticns of God's love to their 
i^ouis. One of my brothers-in-law (likewise a brother in 
Christ) began to speak in public, that had not done it before j 
and many of the christians v.ere so lively, that religion was 
I almost all their theme ; and some sinners under conviction 
still inquiring the v/ay to and after salvation. But O how dan- 
gerous is the case of those, who have been awakened, and 
tasted the word of God, and the powers of the world, to come 
l?v conviction, and ure turned back aeain to their vanities, as 

js often the Cftse. O the uhspeakabie danger, and the de- 
plorable condition of enlightened apostates. 

August 15th, I returned to CornwalUs. Many of my 
friends came to see me ; some of them were strong in the 
fuith, and some in doubts and darkness, mourning the absence 
of God. O the unhappy hours christians pass through, when 
in the dark ; far more unhappiness than the unconverted : 
for they have some carnal sweetness in the things of time 
and sense, but tl]jg christians find those pleasures to be wholly 
spoiled to them, and when they are not enjoying God, they 
enjoy nothing : but yet they would not change with uncon- 
verted and all their carnal pleasures fortenthousardthousuad 
worlds. The hypocrites may find some rest in their false con- 
fidence and apprehension of future happiness, and the Pharisee 
and dry moralists can many times lean contentedly on their 
dry forms and outward performances of religion ; hut tho 
christians, who have known and eaten of the heavenly food 


KTcy unci 

the least 
ulic^hts t(i 
t, feel my 
O the rc- 
apon mfc> 
lelimcs I 
II there a- 
captivity ; 

my Jcsu* 

ached aiul 
elul heart, 
Dcl's good- 
:re 1 found 
it discover- 
ove to their 

brother in 
e it Ijefore ; 
eligion \yas 
X conviction 
O how dan- 
Ikened, and 
li Id to come 

vamticsp as 

land the de- 

Fany of my 
Ironc; in the 
[the absence 
Iconverted : 
igs of time 
, be wholl y 
God, they 
irith uncon- 
Ir false con- 
lie Pharisee 
\\y on their 
|n ; hut thvO 
ivenly foo4 




from the blessed Redeemer, C'\n neither rest on their exter- 
nal perrorriiwiiH.cs, on tiieir past experiences^ nor on their 
expectations of future happiness; for they are thirsting af- 
ter the present ssveet eiijoynient of (iod and the manifesta- 
tion of his love : and will often sav, in times of darkness, 
with David, My days are consumed like smoke, my loins 
are burned as an hearth, my heart is smitten and withered 
like grass, so that I forget to cat my bread ; I am like a pe- 

. iican of the wilderness, or an owl of the desert: / watch 
and am as a sparrow alone upf)n the houso top. And say 
with Job, O liiat 1 knev.' where to find him, that I might 
come even to his seat ; I would order my cause before him 
and till my mouth with arguments. Well they 'have this 

.,to comfort tliem ; He that loves them, will love them to the 
!>cn(\ ; and although he hides his face for a little moment, yet 
with everlasting goodness will he visit them. 

' Lei those that mourn his absence wait; *'"' 

A For God beholds tlieir mourning i>tate, 

I And will return again. 

His arms of liwe shall wipe their tears 
, , And banisii all their doubts and fearsy 

And .ill their foes be slain. , - 

i I RKMAi>fKD in Cornwallis, preached in different parts 
6i the town, and conversed with those imder distress until 
the 23d of August, and tlien set out again for Annapolis.. 
Blessed be God for wliat I enjoyed of his presence on the 
Way. () it is blessed riding from place to place when I 
find God is with me. When I came to Wilmot I found 
the Lord still striving with his people, and found some of 
his children appeared bold in his cause. As I was sitting 
line day in the door of a house, when it thundered and 
Mghtened, a dry trunk of a tree, and a large elm were 
•truck by a flash of lightning before the door. 

O the great goodness of my Maker God, 
, To send the flaming sheets of fire abroad ; 

Make rugged elms, and stately trunks endure ^ 

The blazing shock while I am held secure. 
Mark how the bellowing thunder roars around, ^, « 
Makes pillars bend, and shakes the solid ground t 
While I with wonder safely stand and see 
The flanrnng scene, guarded from injury, 
O Jesus, Jesus, let rae love thy name, — * 

. And cheerful sound thine everlasting fame. 

F 2 




j »! ^1 


I WENT down tq Annapolis, where I preached ofteir^ 
had great trials of mmd, and some happy hours. About 
the first of September 1 was taken with a very sore throat 
occasioned by a swelling, which continued some days ; so 
that I could swallow nothing but a few spoonfuls of liciuids- 
for my support, but was enabled to speak in public when at 
the worst, to my own astonishment, and the astonishment 
of others also. But O the goodness of God. In about six 
days it begun to abate, and went wholly away in a few days^ 
after. I continued riding and preaching almost all the 
time, and the Lord's work prospered under my hands A- 
bout this time I was threatened to be abused by a number of 
ruffians, but they were not permitted to do it. O may they 
see and consider, before it is too late ; that their souls 
might be saved in the day of Christ's appearing. And O 
that I might always have a heart filled with love so far as 
to pity them and pray for them. 

After I had seen, preached to, and conversed witli 
all the societies in the county, I returned to Cornwallis. O 
what returns shall I make or what shall I say, of the in- 
finite goodness of God ; or what shall I do with this un- 
grateful heart of mine, that is no more affected under sucii 
expressions of God's love, and care to and of me. Nothing 
was scarcely talked of now among numbers where I preach- 
ed but religion. Wherever tliey met, their langu^tge was 
the language of Zion, and telling what they had enjoyed. 
I then rode to liorton where I saw the work of God among 
his children. The day following I rode with 9 or 10 to 
Falmouth to meet the christians there, and to commune 
with them ; and thus the Lord increased the numbers and 
boldness of his children. The christians at Falmouth seem- 
ed at first to be but weak, and few in number, but were now 
increased in gifts, graces and numbers. O the happy day? 
that we enjoyed, while anti-christ was raging all around us, 
and said that we were all under a delusion The Lord in- 
crease such a delusion over the whole earth amonp- all the in 
habitants of it. On the Sabbath I preached two sermons, 
and it was a day of God's power among the christians pres- 
ent, and some sinners were pressing into tlie kingdom ol 
God. Yea, it seemed as if they were determined to take 
the kingdom by violence, O Jesus, help them and carry on 
thy blessed work* 




cached ofieir^ 
)urs. About 
y sore throat 
nic days ; so 
fuls of licjuids- 
ublic when at 

In about six 

in a few days 

hnost all the 

ly hands A- 

)y a number of 

O may they 

at their souls 

"in 15. And O 

love so far as 

on versed witii 

ornwallis. O 

ay, of the in- 

with this uu- 

:ed under such 

me. Nothing 

here I preach- 

langurige was 

had enjoyed. 

of God among 

:h 9 or 10 to 

to commune 

e numbers and 

almouth seem- 

•, but were now 

the happy days 

; all around us, 

The Lord in- 

Tionfr all the in 

I two sermons, 

christians pres- 

^e kingdom ot 

rmined to take 

m and carry on 



I REMAINED somc time in Falmouth, then went to 
Horton and Cornwallis where I preached often, and saw thr; 
goings of God in his sanctuary. The opposers were much ■• 
engaged in reproachmg the cause of Christ. One evening 
being desired to preach at a man's house, who would some- 
times get drunk, a number of enemies contrived to get 
him drunk, and send him home drumming- (as he was a 
drummer) to disturb the meeting : but God frustrated their 
evil design. The man being out at work in the woods, was 
expected to go home about dark by a tavern, which was 
between him and his house, and tlie way he commonly went 
home from his work ; but directed by Providence; he went 
home by quite a different way ; though he knew nothinc; 
of their design, as he told me afterwards, and suid if he had 
gone the other way he might been overcome by liquor, as 
he was given to it, and have done what they desired, if Be- 
ing requested, I attended now a meeting of somc of the bap- 
tists in Horton, to advise about gathering a church there. 

may the time come when Ephraim shall no more vex 
Judah, nor Judah envy Ephraim, and that there might nev- 
er more be any disputes about such non -essentials, as water 
baptism ; the sprinkling of infants, or baptising of adults by 
immersion ; but every -one enjoy liberty of conscience. 
They gathered in church order, and made choice of one 
N. Person, (who was not endowed with a great gift in the 
word) for their elder ; intending to put him forward, until 
God gave them some better one, or brought him out more 
in the liberty of the gospel ; after which he "vvas ordained^^ 

1 then went to Cornwallis and preached there for a season. 
Blessed be God, I had great liberty in inviting precious and 
immortal souls to the glorious gospel, and found my de- 
sires were strengthened, to spitad my Master's name ; yea 
I was never more happy, than when I was preaching the 
gospel, and found my soul engaged ; and thought I could 
travel over the whole world to proclaim that Jesus reigned, 

I REMAINED iu Comwiilhs until the 1 7th of Novem- 
ber, and then v.ent to Horton, preached there ; and from 
thence to Falmou'h ; was still blest with a great sense of 
the worth of souls and the sweetness of redeeming love, 
and longing to be instrumental in bringing many poor per- 
ishing souls to share with me in that love. December the 
12th, I went to Newport, had some happy hours in my own 
•oul, and fouint some siniRrs under conviction, but none of 


REV. iienut alline's 




W' HI' 




ill; ■' 
Hi I 

U :1 


;' •! 


tliem brought out since I was last there. O the danger of 
lingering on tlic plains, as souls too often do under convic- 
tion, and many have been left there forever. O that sin- 
gers might be av^'akened by the Spirit of God, and that they 
would let all go for Christ's sake. 

I RETi'uNED to Falmouth and remained there until 
the Sth of January, 1779, and then went to Cornwaiiis, 
where I Ibund the Kedeenier's Blessed Kingdom still re- 
viving. The '2'.ld day of said uionth I met the Congrega- 
tional Church to consult about methods for my ordination, 
tiiat 1 miglit be more useful. I told them, if I might in 
any degree be more uselul by the imposition of hands, than 
what I was now, 1 would rejoice^ The church proposed 
to consult with the churches in fellowship, to which 
all agreed, that if they would assist, as I doubted not but 
they would, 1 should be \^•iIling to receive the imposition of 
hands, altl'.ough I never expected vo be settled In any place ; 
for I would ralher stand wholly alone in the world, than to 
go contrary to the gospel, or join in affinity with those 
churches that held the form of godliness without the pow- 
er. I likewise told them, it might be for our encourage- 
ment ; that althougli we first gathered a few in number, and 
Lvontended for the puv/er and liberty of the gospel, with the 
powers of darkness ; yet the hand of the Lord had been 
with us, and watered us with the spirit of love, increasing 
our numbers and graces, and I trusted, he still would, if we 
went according to the gospel. Some of the christians 
seemed afraid to come out against a frowning world and 
the will of many christians. I told them it was very evi- 
dent, that they never had stood up for that which we be- 
lieved to be the v/ork of God, which our souls and many 
others had rejoiced in, and therefore how could we think 
them to be the ministers of Christ. I entreated them to 
stand fast in the liberty whereunto Chi ist had made them 
free ; and by no means join with the church of anti-christ ; 
and for my own part I utterly refused any assistance in my 
ordination from any of them, that 1 did not believe were in 
the cause of Christ, and I believed that God would stand 
by me and bless me if I followed him in the gospel. 

The 23d of January I set out again for Annapolis ; 
being very cold, I rode very fast and was something worri- 
ed. O the goodness of God to me, in keeping me from 
any accident, and my nature from being overcome by the 




5 danger of 
icier convic- 

that sin- 
id that they 

there until 
m still re- 

might in 
lands, than 

y to which 
;d not but 
position of 
iiiy place ; 
d? than to 
^'ith those •, 
the pow- 
mber, and 

with the 
lad been 
uld, if we 
'orld and 

ery evi- 

1 we be- 
^d many 
ve think 
them to 
de them 
i-christ ; ♦ 
3e in my 

^ve^e in 
d stand 

lapolis ; 
; worri- 
e from 
by the 


Severity of the weather, and in blessing mc with his pres- 
ence. O the unbounded goodness of (iod to his creatures ; 
ten thousands of praises belong to his name. O may I 
forever bear my part with all the followers of the Lamb, hi 
the lofty strains above, where I shdl see my Jesus face to 
face. O my God, give me this for my everlasting portion ; 
let me be thine, and thou be mine iur ever. I remained in 
Wilniot about eight days, and then went down to Granville 
and Annapolis My friends were rejoiced to hear the 
gospel ; but there were none brought out of late to the 
knowledge of Christ. O tlmt the Redeemer's kingdon* 
might nourish and spread from pole to pole, and bring 
thousands and tens of thousands to embrace redeeming 
love and praise his name. When I went down the river 
I found some much engaged after Christ. Every evening, 
almost every wb.ere, where I put up, the room was full to 
hear discourses and exhortations. I was now sent for by 
one Mr. F. a minister of the church of England, to see 
him : and was enabled (when he discovered his Arian prin- 
ciples) before all the society to hold out the truth of the 
gospel, warning him of his danger, and charged him to for- 
bear destroying souls. 

February. I returned to Wilmot, preached indif- 
ferent places, and the word seemed to have effect. I thca 
set out for Cornwallis with some christians, that came for 
me from thence^ where I returned in peace and safety on 
the 58th of February. O how many stonKis wet and dry, 
with foes without and foes within, have I been through, and , 
the Lord stood by me, and carried me through them all ; 
neither have 1 lacked any thing. 1 found there three or 
four, which I had reason to hope, were born to Christ since 
I went fro7n thence, now rejoicing in the God of their sal- 
vation, and si'nging praises to the King of Glory : and ma- 
ny others bowed down under a great sense of their lost and 
\mdone condition. O that God would carry on yet a bless- 
ed work, and bring many precious and immortal souls to 
shout forth the Redeemer's praises. I remained a while 
in Cornwallis, preached as often as my bodily strength 
would admit ; and then went to Falmouth where I met the 
church to conclude about my ordination. I found there al- 
so one woman brought out of the horrible pit nnd miry 
clay, and her feet set upon the rock of Christ, with a new 
song ill her mouth, even praises to the God of her saWa- 





: li 

t l;lf 

tion. I then went to Ilorton, wliere the work of God was 
reviving ; so that I remained there five days, preaching- 
every day, and the house of worship was throni^ed with 
hearers. Four or five were brought out by the Redeemer 
from great distress, rejoicing in the glorious way of hfe, 
and tellhig what God liad done for their souls. I went a- 
gaiu to Cornwallis to inform them of some of the proceed- 
ings of the church, and returned to Falmouth and Newport, 
and appointed a time of meeting for a general council to 
, proceed to ordination. ^ 

Vs April 3th. We met from the three churches. One 

of Horton, one of Cornwallis, the other of Newport, and 
Falmouth met ; held a day of fasting and prayer, and con- 
cluded to proceed the next day. April 6th, met in a large 
barn to proceed to ordination ; and after prayer and sing- 
ing, and a sermon preached, I received the imposition of 
hands by nine delegates, three chosen out of each church : 
after, we sung and prayed. Then they gave me my cre- 
dentials signed by the delegates. 1 1 went then to Newport, 
preached there, and returned as soon as possible. 1 went 
to Cornwallis, where 1 found a vessel, that was going to 
the river St. Jolm's, where I had been expecting to go, 
and waited only for God to open a door, firmly believing,, 
that he would not only send me there, but likewise bless 
my labours there ; and my soul longed to go in the name 
of Jesus. I spent some time in Cornwallis visiting my 
friends, especially those under conviction, who seemed loth 
that I should leave the place, as they are too apt to lean on 
means, and often bar a blessing from their souls. I en- 
deavoured to make them shake it off, and to shew them the 
necessity of going immediately to Christ, and lean altogether 
on him. I preached often and saw the work of the blessed 
/ Kedeemer thriving. We spent hours in praying and sing- 
ing together, and then parted. All the christians seemed 
to have a spirit of prayer for my success. I bid them 
farewell and sailed from Cornwallis the 25th day of April. 
In about three days we got up the river St. John's. 
The people heard that I was come, and came on board to 
fetch me ashore. The next day a number of the church 
met i they related to me their broken state, and the dark- 
ness of the times. I laboured as much as possible, and 
soon got information of the state of religion and the senti- 
ments of the people. I found there v/as a number of sin* 


DfGod was 
5 preaching- 
ongecl witli 

r-av of life, 

I Avent a- 
be proceed- 
id Newport, 

council to 

t'ches. One 
;wport, and 
ir, and con- 
t in a large 
if and sing- 
iposition of 
ch church : 
ne my cre- 
o Newport, 
e, 1 went 
s going to 
;ting to go, 

ewise bless 

the name 
isiting my 
eemed loth 
: to lean on 
uls. I en- 
w them the 

the blessed 
5 and sing- 
is seemed 

bid them 
y of April. 
St. John's. 
n board to 
he church 

the dark- 
ssible, and 

the senti' 
)er of sin* 


cere christians, but very much under trials and discourrior- 
mcnts, and reproached by those who held the form wltliout 
the power of rehgion. When the Sabbath cair^e I prcach- 
[0' ed and the Lord was there, and took much hold of the peo- . 
pie. The week ensuing I preached t\ro lectures, and went 
from place to place, visiting the people, and incjuiring into 
their standing. O it was a grief to see sincere christians 
thus scattered up and down the moimtains like slieep hav- 
ing no shepherd ; and the accuser of the bretheren had 
sown much discord among the christians. There had been 
a church there, but had separated on account of the great- 
est part holding the minister to be an unconverted man, 
who afterwards went away, but the division still subsisted. 
I went still from place to place preaching often and visidng 
the people ; and God of his infinite mercy began a work of 
grace. Some christians much revived shouted forth the 
Redeemer's praise, and some sinners were brought under 
conviction. I spent as much time as I could, with all the 
members of the visible church, tryinpj to get them together, 
but all was in vain. Indeed, I fear tlie greatest reason was, 
some of them did not love the power of religion. It wovUd 
not have been of any servxe to have joined them, unless • 
tlieir hearts were changed ; but yet being members of the 
visible church, they did not see fit to exclude them from 
walking with them, if they had desired it. I then advised 
them, as many as could, to fenew the covenant, and to 
come again into chirrch order ; that when any minister of 
Christ should come amongst them, they might enjoy all 
the privileges of the gospel. Many of them seemed well 
satisfied with the proposal, fell in with the advice, and renew- 
ed the covenant. The greatest part of the old church, and. , 
(others likewise that had not joined, joined now ; and the work 
of the blessed God increased.and there appeared much love 
among them. O that God may increase our love and hu- 
mility. The church, that was now united again, sent re- 
peated requests to those that had not joined, to come and 
join them, and at the same time, if they could not, they 
were willing they should enjoy liberty of conscience ; but 
some still refused. I was so engaged in preaching and dis- 
coursing with the people, that for some time I could scarcely 
get time to put pen to paper ; no, wot for 4 or 5 days to- 
gether. I passed through many distressing trials in my 
, own mind, but the Lord would not leave me long without 

I i 111 ';! 




£ !i! 


reticf; and I enjoyed also many joyful and happy hours. 
O the goodness of God to such a wretch. 1 m as once, be- 
ing under great distress and trials in my own mind, re- 
markably relieved by the following words, lie knoweth 
the way that I take, and w hen he hath tried me, I shall 
come forth as gold. O the g'^odness of Ciod to me a 
worm of the dust I Lord help me to love thee with all 

my soul. ... ' 

Well, the blessed hour rolls dn with speed, 

When I from darkness shall be freed ; 
And sin no more control : 

From storms 1 trust to take my flight ] > 

Up to the realms of endless light ; 
And love inspire my soul. 
The work of God was still increasing ; souls crynig out 
what they shall do to be saved, and christians enjoying great 
discoveries of divine truths. But O 1 found many, who in 
my judgment were unhappily deceived. O how broad is 
the way to hell. Some careless and secure, some building 
their hopes on the sand. O how di jadful is it for a man 
to go to the grave with full expectations of heaven, and to 
awake in hell. How shall we know^ a true from a false 
confidence ? Why it may be observed that those who have 
a false confidence are confident of heaven and happiness 
liereafter ; but those that have a true confidence are thirst- 
ing after heaven and the enjoyment of God while here. 
Again those with a false confidence complain mostly of 
outward trials and crosses : but those with the gospel turn 
of confidence complain mostly of the trials and crosses 
which they experience within. Again, those with a false 
confidence will tell of what they expect God will do for 
them hereatter : but those of the c;ospel turn will tell what 
God does for them in theiv souls now. And for the reason 
of the false confidence, the souls of such are imprisoned 
and see not their own disorder : and as for their joys, their 
animal spirits may be elevated with a prospect ot happi- 
ness, when the inmost soul is never touched nor redeemed ; 
and their light being darkness, they neither see their dan- 
ger, nor the importance, nor the difference. But the true 
christian's turn is such, that they having the Spirit of God, 
can discern their own vileness, and ten thousand dangers, 
•which the others cannot see. He that has the turn, that 
is after God's own heart, is also humble, and longs greatly 
to be free from sin, yea, from all sin wliatever, and to be 

l.lfE AND J0URN>\1,. 


\ppy hours, 
as once, be- 
1 mind, le- 
le knoweth 
me, I shall 
od to me a 
lee with all 

is crying out 

joying groat 

any, who in 

ow broad is 

ime building 

t for a man 

Lven, and to 

rom a false 

e who have 


are thirst- 

hile here. 

mostly of 

ospel turn 

nd crosses 

ith a false 

will do for 

11 tell what 

the reason 


joys, their 

ot happi- 

edeemcci ; 

their dan- 

ut the true 

it of God, 

1 dangers, 

turn, that 

igs greatly 

and to be 

rr.arle perfectly holy : while those of the other turn do not 

wholly hate sin. C) happy, hap^jy souls, whose treasure is 

above ; their love and holiness centre there, constrained by 

^' the ties of love. 

Soon they shall safely reach '.he happy shore, 

Where doubts and storms and death are known no more. 

/, The last Sabbath 1 preached at St. John's river ; the 

people seemed so loth to go away, that we stopped at the 
meeting-house door, and sung and discoursed some time, 
and then I left them to go down the river. O how many 
souls may be hurled off from this mortal stage, before I re- 
turn there again. The next day I went down the river 
about ten miles, and preached a lecture, took my leave of 
them, and the day following proceeded farther down the 
river, encamped one night in the woods ; but as 1 hadchris- 
tians who carried me down the river, we had some happy 
moments there, and likewise in the boat. The next day 
I went to Mahogany, and preached there on Saturday ; and 
Sabbath-day morning a boat came for me to go to the town 
and preach there, which I did, and although it was a dark 
j)lace and the King's garrison ; yet I must acknowledge 
there appeared some movings of the spirit among them ; 
, ep>p-ciaily among some of the soldiers. But O the 
darkness of the place. The greatest part of the people 
f ouducted as if they were to die like beasts. I suppose 
there were upwards of 200 people there come to the years 
of maturity, audi saw no signs of any christian excepting 
one soldier. Yet although I was among such an irre- 
ligious people, the Lord was kind to me, and I lacked for 
nothir.g while I was there. 

An opportunity soon presented to cross the bay to 
Annapolis. When I came there, I found the work of God 
in some degree reviving : some in distress and in some 
sense of their danger. I was there brought to the knowl- 
edge of a Saviour afresh. But among all the reproaches, 
that I had before been through, I was never so wounded as 
now. A young man, who had been awakened under my 
preaching, (being tuined back from good beginning) de- 
clared that he saw me in bed with a young woman ; and 
that I never should be seen in those parts again. Many ' 
of my friends began to believe it, and now looked on me 
with coldness. I endeavoured to bear it, and the burden of 










II '-^ I 

i: '11 





h, and took no steps to prove my innocence, Lut only deni- 
ed the fact ; leaving it with God, to order the event, telling 
those who advised me to take the law, that 1 would leave it 
to my Lord and Master to clear my character, and \'ndi- 
cate the honour of his cause ; which he did in a short 
time, although the report had spread much. The young 
man was struck with such guilt in his own conscience, that 
he could not refrain the acknowledgement of it. He came 
out and declared publicly that he had told a lie ; that he 
had been imposed upon by the devil and his own malicious 
nature : and he appeared as great a penitent as almost ev- 
er I saw ; and he told me, that if it would be of any ser- 
vice, he would give his life to heal the wound, which he 
had given to the cause of Christ, and seemed as if he could 
never forgive himself ; and in a short time he was brought 
to the knowledge of Christ ; and came out, I trust, a sin- 
cere christian to the satisfaction of all the society. And 
en the whole, this report proved the removal of others 
which had been against me : for none could be more ix)si- 
tively affirmed than this was, and this proved to be wholly 
made. And thus I have learned to pay no regard to false 
reports. I remained preaching in the plaee, and the peo- 
ple thronged to hear the gospel ; some travailing in the 
pangs of the new birth ; cutting pangs^ unknow n to all but 
those who have experienced them, and a wounded spirit 
who can bear. Many and many a night I have sat up until 
twelve, one, two and three o'clock, labouring with distres- 
sed souls. But it is God alone that can heal, though he 
often does it by the use of means ; and many bar a blessing 
.from their souls by leaning on the minister; and many 
more by a prejudice against them. Two christians came 
ft'om Cornwallis to Annapolis hearing that I was there ; 
with them I returned to Cornwallis, and enjoyed happy 
hours in our journey. 

July. I found my friends well, rejoicing at my re- 
turn, and relating what God had done for them while I was 
gone. Some souls were added to the faithful. O dear Je- 
sus, what ails my heart, that I have no more love for thee. 
O how can I but be in a flame of love at this time. 

July 1 6th, I rode to Horton and preached there, but 
to my sorrow found some that had been awakened, turned 
back again. O the deplorable condition of those that turn- 
ed back again, and walk no more with Jesus. The next 


t only deni- 
,ent, telling 
uld leave it 

and >'ndi- 

in a short 

rhe young 

cience, that 

He came 

; that he 
1 malicious 

almost ev- 
f any ser- 
U which he 
if he could 
as brought 
'ust, a sin- 
ity. And 

of others 
more jxjsi- 

be wholly 
ird to false 
d the pee- 
ing in the 

to all but 
dcd spirit 
at up until 
h distres- 
though he 

a blessing 
nd many 
ians came 
as there ; 
ed happy 

ray re- 
hile I was 

dear Je- 
; for thee. 

riere, but 
:d, turned 
that turn- 
The next 


day I went to Falmouth, and a good day it was to my soul. 
I found my christian friends well, but religion amongst 
them not so lively ; yet still may we rejoice ; for although 
the religious fall, they shall rise again. Hearing that one of 
the brethren of the church at Newport was at the point of 
death, I went over, found him low in body, but happy in 
mind, triumphing over death and tl>e grave, 1 preached a 
lecture the next maining, ami then went to llorton and 
preached the same day. The last Sabl)ath in July I was iu 
Cornwallis, and met the church, when five members were 
added. I remained preaching tlie sweet mysteries of the 
cross, and enjoyed many happy hours in Cornwallis until 
the 3d of August ; then went to Hortoii, found the chris- 
tians revived. I then went to Falmouth and Newport, 
preached to them, visited many, and then took leave of them 
again for a season, expecting to go again to Cornwallis, An- 
napolis and St. John's : but to my sorrow I found tlie enemy 
/getting in among the christians in warm debate, and sowing 
(liscord about non-essential matters* O that ever christians 
should contend about that, which never was nor never will 
be of any benefit to their souls, (as is often the case) instead 
of contending for the truth as it is in Jesus. The first Sab- 
bath we had a blessed meeting ; five joined tlie church, 
three had joined the evening before. We had tlie sacra- 
ment in the field, because the house we had could not con- 
tain the people, that attended the public worship with us. 
Many of the christia<ns seemed very happy, but some sisters 
fettered in their minds about water-baptism began to be 
dead and dull. I spent what time I could, with my friends, 
labouring to quash those vain disputes, and many soon got 
their minds free* I now bid all my friends farewell for n 
season, and set out foi' Annapolis. And O the kindness of 
God to me I What shall I say of his love. I^ord God, give 
me thy spirit, that I may love and serve thee with my body 
and soul, all the days of my life. 

Take me, send me, O thou indulgent God, ' ' 

To spread the blest Redeemer's love abroad: 

Send me, O God, the gospel trump to blow, 

To mortals dead in sin, and doom'd to wo, ' ' 

That they may kno'v thy love, before too late 

They rue in darkness their eternal state. 

And when I came to Wilmot I found a young man 
there come out rejoicing in the King of Heaven. O the 

r — 




wonders of thut love. When I came to Granville, I found 
tlic society still eni^aji;e(l in the cause of God : but many 
scoflin;.?;, making their bands strong. O that they knew in 
this their day the things that belong to their everlasting 
peace, before it is for ever hid from their eyes. O that their 
souls might be saved in the day of Christ's appearing. I 
then went from place to place preaching night and day, 
and labouring in conversation at every opportunity. But O 
1 want more love and humility. I now went on board a 
vessel for St. John's river ; but lay six days in Annapolis 
hason : yet the Lord was kind to me, I enjoyed some hap- 
py hours there. 

Blest be the hand that stills the swelling" tide, 
That man with tottering barques securely ride : 
Or else for them provides some sheltering bay, 
Guarded Irom danger till the storms allay. , 
YetO how few among the seamen are, 
That feel a sense of heaven's indulgent care. 
How few returns of love to that kind hand, 
That guards them still, and brings them safe to land. 

And while I remained there I went ashore to a small 
village, and preached a lecture ; and who knows what Gcd 
may design by this wind ? O might it be the means of con- 
verting one soul among that small number. On Saturday 
morning the wind changed, and we reached St. John's in 
the evening. Sabbath day morning I gave out word that I 
would preach, and there was a great attention given by 
some : and O the kindness of God in providing me a con- 
venience to carry me on my way. The commanding Offi- 
cci' treated me with civility, and told me that he was to send 
his barge up the river : so that it was not delayed, but went 
immediately up the river ; and although it was something 
disagreeable going up in an open boat, and especially as it 
stormed all the night, yet I enjoyed some sense of God's 
goodness, and got up to Maugertield about ten in the morn- 
ing. My friends were rejoiced to see me returned j and I 
was rejoiced to find many souls born to Christ since I was 
last there ; and what was something remarkable and like- 
wise uncommon, 3 or 4 were upwards of 50 years of age. 

September. The church met as soon as possible af- 
ter I came there, and made choice of two elders and two 
deacons. One of the elders came since out in public, and 
appears likely to be a useful man. The power of religion 
was reviving, but the enemies raging ; yet tlie christians 

i, I found 

but many 
y knew in 
' that tliL'ir 
.^urin}.';. I 
and day, 
y. But U 
11 board a 
iome hap- 

• » 





to land. 

to a small 
Avhat God 
;ans of ccn- 
1 Saturday 
John's in 
ord that I 
given by 
me a con- 
ding Offi- 
as to send 
, but went 
ially as it 
of God's 
the morn- 
d ; and I 
ce I was 
and like- 
of age. 
ssible af- 
and two 
iblic, and 


seemed not to regard it, but still pressed forward to the 
City of Rest. Many professors of religion not only oppose 
and reject the gospel, but likewise labour to prejudice the 
minds of others against the work of God. Wo unto them 
tliat will neitlier enter into the kingdom themselves, 
nor suffer thosse, that ?re entering in, to enter. 

I SPENT much time in discoursing and preached often. 
O that it might prove a blessing to their souls, and to be 
the glory of God. One evening a sincere christian came 
to me (l)ei!ig under such trials of mind as almost sunk liim 
in despondency) wringing his hands and crying, O what 
shall I do, or where shall I flee ? I fear I am deceived. (> 
tlic thoughts of having a false hope. If I were a christian, 
how could I live so far from God, and be guilty of so ma- 
ny sins ? Although he was such a man, that there was per- 
haps not one in twenty that lived so unspotted in the 
world. But it is a truth, that the neai'cr a soul lives to 
God, the tenderer is his conscience. The number of chris- 
tians increased fast, and likewise their gifts and graces. 
When I was about coming away, the church met, and 
gave me a call to stay witJi them as much as posssible. 
To which I gave them an answer as folio ws^— 

To THE Church of Christ i-n Maugerfield. 
Dearly beloved in the Lord,. 

Im answer to your request 1 dfesire under a deep sense 
of my own inability, not only to acknowledge my own un- 
worthiness to be called a servant of the Lord to his church ; 
but at the same time may the honour of God, and the wel- 
fare of precious and immortal souls ever excite a cheerful 
obedience to the call of God, while I am indulged to act on 
the mortal side of the grave ; accounting it the greatest 
honour that God can confer on me, to wash the feet of his 
saints ; and although 1 have yet no- expectation of being 
called to settle over any particular church or flock ; yet I 
dare not refuse the utmost of my endeavours to promote 
the welfare of the church of Christy where God in his provi- 
dence shall cast my lot ; and therefore as I am convinced 
of your being part of Christ's body, and settled according to 
the plan of the gospel, I can with cheerfulness go hand in 
hand with you, and serve you with the greatest delight both 
in public and private, when God in his providence shall see 
St to cast ray lot among you, making you the people of my 

G2 . 



I I 

B ■ 

■ I'' 



'" I 

;:( .' 

I' . '<> 

particuhir cure while present, and charge my memory 
while ah:<ciit ; Icavinrj it tu the ijjrcat Uulur of all things tu 
determine how long or how often I shall be witli you. At 
the same time, dear brethren and sisters, intreating you in 
the bowels of the meek and lowly Jesus to watch over mc 
in love and faithfulness, remembering my labours in the 
gospel, that you bear me on your mind at your Father's 
throne, as a particular subject of your prayers, while 
present or absent, that I may be a lasting blessing in the 
hand of God to you and others : to which end may the glo- 
ry redound to Father, Son and Holy Spirit, amen and amen. 
And wishing Grace, Mercy and Peace to attend you, with 
the same to all the followers of the Lamb. I have subscrib- 
ed myself Your unworthy servant in the Lord, 
October 29th, 1779. HENRY ALLINE. 
October 31st. After preaching two sermons I bid 
them farewell to go down the nver, promising to see them, 
if God permitted. Preached in different places as I went 
down the river, and saw the power of God among sinners. 
i Some groaning under a load of sin, and some come out re- 
^i joicing in God their Saviour. Some children of 10 to 13 
yisars of age crying out, Where, where shall I fly, that I 
might get rid of my, darkness and death, that I might 
love God with all my soul. 

The 6th of November I got down to the mouth of the 
river, remained there some time waiting for a passage a- 
cross the bay. I trust it was not in vain. One who was 
a stranger happened there, vho at a sermon was taken hold 
of, and never left me, until he was brought to the knowl- 
edge of a Saviour. Thus God by unseen ways brings a- 
bout the salvation of dying souls, O may the blessed Jesus 
have the praise. 

November 13th, left Fort Howe and reached Annap- 
olis in about seven hours ; found many still pressing into 
the kingdom of God, and my soul enjoyed great liberty in 
the gospel, and had a longing desire to proclaim the Re- 
deemer's name. ,_, - 

Look down, look down, dear Jesus, let me go 

Unto my fellow mortals donm'd to woe. 

Fain would I go in thy all-worthy name 

To spread thy goodness and thy lusting fame. 

O send me, send me, to the guilty race, 
. With the glad tidings of redeeming grace. 

O send me, send me, Jesus, I implore 

To sound thy blessed same from shore to shore. 

LiPK v.vD jyrnNAf . 


I went 


things tu 

you. At 

n^ you in 

I over me 

rs in the 

L- Futher's 

rs, while 

n<.r in the 

\y tlie glo- 

and amen. 

I you, with 

e subacrib- 



ions 1 bid 

i see 


irit>- sinners. 

3Uie out re- 

pf 10 to IS 

fly, that I 

hat I might 

louth of the 
passage a- 
iie who was 
taken hold 
the knowl- 
's brings a- 
lessed Jesus 

hed Annap- 

ressing into 

at liberty in 

"aim the Re- 

Many reproachei wcri cast out .u^aiiist the woik of 
God ; but all cannot obstruct it. Thj l.uid slill coati:)Me:> 
hii goodness, and the people of CioJ are much civ^agcd in 
Jii;i cause. IJut () what a shockin;.; thought it i.-i, tluU tiie 
thing that can possibly make poor souls happy, audthe only 
way that God has, or could hnd out, should bj so opposed 
and rejected, as it is by many ; when God looks down IVcjui 
above with pity, to miU:e poor souls the heirs of his un- 
bounded love. 

And sending his heralds with a powerful sway. 
And hanrned souU tUe gospcl-sOUMd obey. 
Then legal priesti and phariseti engaije 
Ag-ainst llie Saviour with infernal rage ; 
Reject that love which woukl their souls redeem i 
Because against iheir pride and carnal sclunie. 

But sometimes I luve seen that their ragj and k> 
bour against the Redeemer's cause have been the means 
of doing good ; although no thanks to them, but when they 
have manifest'jd such spite against the cin istiiuis, us thai 
the blind world have seen it was from a dark region, and 
convinced they were wholly lead by a bad spirit, and tjierc- 
fure many have turned, and some, that before were vile, 
have met with a saving change. O it was a great joy to see 
some young mi^n, who had been profane swearers, now 
v/itnessing for God, nroclaiming the wonders of his love, 
and what he had done for their souls, and exhorting their 
former companions to flee from the wrath to come : and in- 
stead of meeting, as they often hud done, for carnal pleas- 
ures now meeting for the glory of God. One young man 
after sermon got up, and told what God had done for his 
soul ; and related the remarkable goodness of God in de- 
livering him from the jaws of the roaring lion and from irre- 
vocable, runi. Once when he was about drowning himself by 
reason of despairing temptations. Another time when he 
had sharpened his knife to cut his throat. lie thought he 
would go into another roomoftlie house first for a little 
time : the woman of the house happened to be in tlie room ; 
who (not knowing any thin<jj of his design) lianded him a 
book, and told him to read that passage, which she turned 
to, which being applicable to his state and present case, and 
an encouragement for sinners bordering on despair, was set 
home to him, and prevented his ruin. Another time lie 
said, he drew a sword (being in his chamber) put the point 
of it to his breast and the other end against the wall, in- 






■f ^' 

'I' I ri li 

V li 

tendhi;; to thrust his body on it, ^vhell he was struck witlt' 
a tremjbling? vNith a forbear behig spoken as it were to his 
heart, he then refrained, and hid the sword under his pil- 
low, intendini^ to put it olf for the present ; but the sword 
was found, and taken away. And after all this, I trust, was 
brought to the knowledge of a Saviour. O the wonders of 
redeeming love I O how great is the goodness of God, 
how boundless his love and how free his grace I And yet 
how little is he loved and served by his creatures. Ah how 
little regard is paid to his ways. O is it possible for so 
great a being, so good and merciful a being tc be so little 
regarded, when all the race of Adam is absolutely and e- 
ternally dependent on hii>i.. () that the ?v'ofld were awake 
to know tlieir state, themselves and their Creator. 

Dkckmheti loth, 1 went to Cornwallis with two men 
in comp'.my ; and great was the goodness of God to my 
soul on the journey O I thought I enjoyed that, which 
the world knows I'othing of, and which my sou) esteems 
more th-m ten thousand worlds. But O my i.igratitude, 
cruel ingratitude ; how it still torments my impnsoned soul 
and bars me from enlargement of mind. The christians 
were sometmics bkot with liberty in their souls : but the 
work of conviction had been dec ining ever since the dis- 
putes began -about water baptism. O that christians would 
think what they are about, when warmly contending about 
such non-essential matters ; and that they are not only laying 
stumbling blocks before the blind world, but neglect also the 
vitals of religion, and the salvation of poor unconverted- 
souls. I went to Horton, had great freedom to proclair.i 
the Redeemer's blessed name ; and the Lord sent bless- 
ings bv me to- his children. The next day I went to Fal- 
mouth. The Lord seemed to be reviving his work again. 
One woman who was in great distress, when I left that 
town, was now rejoicing in the glorious plan of life and salva- 
tion through a blessed Redeemer. O that God would engage 
my soul and the souls of others to exalthisworthy name. But 
ah what are the praises of angels or men to God ? I soon 
returne,d to Horton and Cornwallis again, preached there 
often, and enjoyed some happy hours in my OAvn soul ; and 
many of the christians were so much indulged with the pres- 
ence of God, that they could scarcely speak. O may the 
name of Jesus get the praise. Oftentimes after sermon 
the saints would arise, exhort and witness for God. 1 went. 


• I 

) his 
> pil- 
:, was 
ers of 
id yet 
[i how 
for so 
and e- 

to wy 
led soul 
but the 
:he dis- 
iS would 
[y laying 

ui^ain to Ilortor., found great liljerly in preaching : from 
thence I went to Ijalniouth. Iher^ had been a great fall 
of snow, and I beins^ alone, was most overcome, for the 
snow v/as so deep, that 1 was ol)lii^v:d part of the way to 
beat before the horse : but the Lord was beyond measure 
kind to me. I thought I enjoyed more happiness in all 
my troubles and worrying through the snow, than thousands 
who were in their cieled houses, with all which this world 
can give them. I enjoyed also t^-eat happiness with my 
friends in Falmouth, where I remained about 14 days. O 
shall I one day meet all the christians in the realms of e- 
terna! rest I Can it possibly be that I shall be one of that 
happy and blessed number, that shall rejoice for ever in the 
infinite Ciod, and solace myself in the unbounded ocean of 
self existing love ! After this i went to Cornwallis, found 
the christians something strong in the faith ; and all those 
that had professed to have met with a change, but two or 
three remained lively, and living witnesses of the glorious 
gospel : but many that had been awakened are gone back to 
sin and vanity, and the work of conviction declining ; and 
to my sorrow, some unprofitable disputes about water bap- 
tism.- I then returned to Horton, where I was much in- 
dulged with the presence of God, and liberty in the gos- 
pel ; but not much work appeared among the sinners. 

;f February 2^. 1 went again to Cornwallis, saw some 
small movings among the sinners, and the christians stirred 
up. O that God would revive his own work again, and 
bring more precious and immortal souls to enjoy the won- 
ders of redeeming love. February lOth, I went to Horton 
and preached there, and from thence to Falmouth. I en- 
joyed much of Go<rs love on the way and while in Fal- 
mouth. O that I could continually live to, and walk with 
God wherever I go, and enjoy his love in a greater degree. 
If it was not for pride and unbelief, my soul would rejoice 
continually : but O I shall never get rid of all those chains, 
until I leave this mortal world. O may I then go to my 
Father. I remained some tin^e at Falmouth, and then took 
my leave from them for six ijionths, intending again to go 
to Annapolis and to the river St. John's. When I came to 
Horton I found a man who had been a great opposer to the 
work, brought to the knowledge of Christ, and proclaiming 
what God had done for his soul : many others seemed 
much stirred up, and inquiring after Jesus. O may it con* 

1 went. 








3 then' everlasting joy. l went trom Uience 
.o, stayed their the Sabl)ath and preached ; and then re- 


turned to Horton again ; where the work seemed to be re- 
Yiving. I preached often while there, and the Lord biessed 
mv labours. I then went to Cornwallis, staved a short 
time, £'nd set out for Annapolis. O that I could be wholly 
for that blessed Redeemer, who has so freely given his life 
for me, and all the fallen world. O that J. had an humble 
place near his blessed feet to be swallowed up in God, 

1 long to walk and live so near to God ; 
As always taste the sweetness of his word : 
And ev'ry pow*r of heart and soul engage, 
To spread his name while on this mortal stage. 
T!ien, then, O then let me forever soar, 
To realms of light, where storms are known no more ; 
There where my Jesus in his glory reigns. 
Let me arise to strike the highest strains : 
There let my soul through endless ages rove 
O'er the perfections of my Saviour's love. 

BiTT O when I speak of those solemn and soul trans- 
porting truths, why is not my whole soul ravished v ith; 
sacred joy and humbled at my Saviour's feet more than I- 
am ? 

Makch 10th, I set out from Annapolis on snow shoes ; 
as there %vas no riding on account of the depth of the snow., 
A yoiing man went with me to carry my saddle-bags. AVe 
had to \valk forty mrles before we could ride . I travelled 
the forty miles in five days. The next day I preached and 
found the work of God reviving* Some who were oppos- 
es, the last time I vr?^ there, were now falling in with the 
work and inquiring what they must do to be saved. One 
man took me by the hand, saying I am rejoiced at your re- 
turn this way, although the time has been when I have seen 
you passing my house, if it had not been for the law, I 
would have murdered you. O the power and goodness of 
God among the sons of men f When I came down to 
Granville we had a day of fasting and prayer, and conclu- 
ded tf proceed, us had been thought of before to embody 
and v.aik in church oixler. The next day the christians 
came out in public meeting declaring what God had done 
for their souls and joining in church-iellowship. Different 
opinions about water-baptism was not thought a iufficient 
bar, and therefore they joined congregations, and as to- 
¥aptism each one enjoyed a liberty of conscience. O thRt 

11 re- 
i re- 
is liie 



ore •, 

d vitlv 
than I- 

shoes ; 



led and 


ith the 

our re- 
Lve seen 
law, I 
iness of 
|own to 
td done 

as to- 

O th^t 


V M 

God would set his name there, increase their love, their 
srength and number to the end of the world. 1 remained 
ridini^ about from place to place, and preached often, imtil 
the 2 1st of April, when I went on board of a vessel to sail 
to St. John's, and arrived there the next day. 1 preached 
on the Sabbath, remained there until the next Sabbath day, 
^\nd spent my time in a chamber by myself, chiefly at my 
pen, which may be a blessino; to some, after I am in my 
grave. I then went on board a vessel to go u]) the river, 
but by reason of a head v/ind, was Tour days going up ; but 
1 still employed r»iy pen, and could not but admire the wis- 
dom of God in this particular ; for when I was on land, I 
preached so often, that I could not get much time to write. 
And O how kind the Lord was to me, to give me such man- 
ifestations of love, as I was often indulged with. O that I 
could live wholly to God. When I came up the river I 
found the christians under some trials about some difficul- 
ties ; but the Lord was pleased to remove them so far, that 
they went on still rejoicing. O the wisdom that it requires 
for christians to walk through this ensnaring world, and 
what care ought they to take not to lay stumbling blocks in 
the way of the blind ; and how ought they to employ both 
body and soul in the Redeemer's cause. I remained preach- 
ing and visiting from place to place, passed through many 
trials, and enjoyed many happy hours until the 5th of June» 
and then began to go down the river. I preached at se\eral 
places, as I went down ; but the work of God was not so 
powerful as it had been, although many of the christians 
were very happy, and some souls were born to God. O 
may Jesus continue a good work in the land, and bless them 
with the outpouring of his spirit. Much company went 
with me from place to place, sometimes six or seven boats 
loaded with people. When I came to the river's mouth I 
was obliged to tarry a fiorthnight waiting for a passage, but 
I hope it was not in vain ; for I preached and visited the 

June the 25th. I left St. John's river and went to 
Annapolis. When I came there, I was blessed with some 
sense of God's goodness to me, so that my heart was filled 
with love to God, and 1 enjoyed a happy day. I heard by 
some friends that the disputes about water-baptism were 
increased, and had risen to such a height, that there was a 
talk of a separation ; but God blessed me in enabling me 





t i 

i i , 

to bear the burUtn, tind go forward in the gc 'spel; through 
the unspeakable trials 1 met with, and revived a senLe of 
divine truths among many of the christians, so that the 
vain disputes began to cease, and some sinners were 
brought imder conviction. O that the Redeenicr's king- 
dom might revive, and souls be born to Christ. Yea it is my 
soul's desire that God would make me instrumental in ad- 
vancing the honour of h4s l)lessed name : for wli)- should I 
live, but to spread the wonders of redeeming love thiough 
the blessed gospel ? or what could all the v/orld afib; d me 
without divine joy ? O it is Jesus alone that makes my 
moments sweet, and supports me in all my trials. 

July. I came to Cornwallis, and remained there a- 
bout four days, and found too much of the dispute;-, about 
v/ater-baptism existing among some of the christians. O 
how much advantage does the enemy get in the minds of 
christians by those zef.lous disputes aboi.t non-essen- 
tials ; making that the chief subject of their discourses 
when the essentials or work of God is neglected. I have 
often observed in the short compass of my ministry, that 
when the christians get much of the life of religion with the 
love of God in their souls, those small matters were scarce- 
ly talked of, but whenever they met their discourse was a- 
bout the work of God in the heart, and what God had done 
for their souls ; inviting sinners to come to Christ, and set- 
ting forth in their conversation the important truths of the 
gospel ; but as soon as religion grows cold, then they sit 
hours and hours discoursing about those things wlilch 
would never be of service to body or soul, and proving the 
validity of their own method or form of some external mat- 
ters, and condemn others, who do not think as they do. 
Ah, how many hours have I seen spent even among chris- 
tians to prove the different methods of water-baptism either 
to infants or adults, either by sprinkling or immersion ; 
when it would not at all help the poor so\d in the least out 
of its fallen state back to God without the true baptism of 
the spirit of Christ, which alone can. O that all the distinc- 
tion might be made only this, to wit, christians and the 
world : converted or unconverted. And that the christians 
or children of God might go hand in hand, as if there was 
no difference among them, since they are all agreed in the 
essentials : yea methinks every thing else is too small to be 
.mentioned among them. 




Le of 
t the 

is my 
in acl- 
ould I 
li lI me 
s my 

lere a- 
•, about 
IS. O 
nds of 
1 iiuve 
ry, that 
yiih the 
scare c- 
was a- 
ul done 
Liid set- 
of the 
ley sit 
\\ liich 
al mat- 
ley do. 
1 cither 
rsion ; 
ast out 
itism of 
and tlie 
re ^vas 
i in the 
ill to be 



JuLT 6th. I went to Horton, preached tb/^re tw'o days 
*nd enjoyed happy hours with the brethren and sisters. O 
the mercies I have found given to the saints of God ! And 
if this happiness is so great in this world under so many dis- 
t)rders, darkness and sin ; what will be the unspeakable hap- 
piness of meeting them in etenial felicity ! O sl^all I one 
day be found among that happy number, swallowed up in 
everlasting love. I now went to Falmouth, where I was 
much encouraged, seeing the people throng to hear the 
word, and found no disputes there about those non-essential 
matters ; for they seemed to enjoy so much of the vitals of 
religion and presence of God, as to lift them up al)ove all 
sectarian zeal. O what stuff and darkness will the love of the 
meek and lowly Jesus burn up and expel. O that his love 
might so lake place in the souls of the sons of men, as to 
cement them all in the ways of God, and all the fallen race be- 
come acquainted with the great Redeemer. But O shocking 
thought that the greatest part of mankind are lost for ever. 

July 1 5th. I went again to Horton: found some- 
thing of the spirit of God still among the people. But O 
I am amazed at m vself and all the world, that there are no 
more impressions of divine things on my mind. And O 
how can it be that the perishing Ivorld can possibly remahi 
so insensible of their standing ; death threatening, time piis:- 
sing an ay, eternity approaching, and the soul condemned ; 
and with redeeming love all around them : all things a- 
larming ihem to flee from irrevocable ruin, and at the same 
time Christ inviting them to eternal felicity with alluring 
charms and endearing expressions. How fatal are the 
bars of death that charm immortal soujs to everlasting 

O mighty Jesus, rouse their souls to fly 
From endless ruin while his love is nigh. 
Save them, O Jesus, by thy grace divine, 
And let them be O God, forever thine. 

O that the world were awake to know their standing 
and embrace redeeminng love : but ah how little, how lit- 
tle do they know of themselves ; how little do they consid- 
er that they are prisoners of hope, uihabitants of a moment 
and bound for eternity: self condemned, yet surrounded 
with free and unbounded grace. If thmi hadst known, saith 
Christ to the woman of Samaria, the gift of God, and who 



' r-'- 


! i !i!l' 

It is that asks of thee to give him to drink, thou wouldst 
usk of him, and he would give thee the Hving water. But be- 
cause they knewnot the worth and danger of their own souls, 
nor tlie worth of a Redeemer's love, they waste their days 
nncCncerned and post down to eternal perdition. O can it 
be, can it be that everlasting life should be offered in vain : 
must Jesus suffer, bleed and die, and souls go to hell at 
last I O that they knew the worth of that blessed name, 
wl.ich my soul does sometimes enjoy. O would they but on- 
ly Iicarthe small whispers of conscience, it would bring then* 
to see more and more their lost and undone condition, until 
they were willing to cast all on the blessed Jesus Christ, 
and receive him for their whole portion, tricnd and helper. 
But when conscience begins to work and breaks up their 
carnal peace, they will not hear, but rather choose to retain 
that carnal peace, which will stifle the sp?rit of God, and 
thereby expose themselves to everlasting misery. 

July the 22d. I went with a number of brethren to 
consult about some matters that appeared to he my duty. 
There jippeared a great harmony among some bretliren 
and u desire to promote the vitals of religion, for I still found 
:\ Tuimber alive m religion and travailing for the salvation 
•)!' souls. O that we had eiore of that spirit of pity that 
oncQ. wept over Jerusalem. The next day we came to the 
Lord's table. And O what a blessed day it was to my 
soul and to the souls of manv others. But still I wonder 
that I am no more affected when I come to the table : 
V, hich although in itselt is nothing, yet it is a representa- 
tion of the most remarkable scene and solemn sight that 
ever was seen by angels or men : so affecting that it is a 
wonder that all the spectators were not overborne with the 
impression, and that the earth was not more convulsed than 
It was, when the great Creator being in a mortal body was 
in exquisite torments and weighty sorrow. O can it be I 
v.Lis it indeed the King of Glory who was thus extended be- 
tween the heavens and earth, and bled and died for the sins 
of the fallen world ? Ah for his rebellious offspring, who 
w ere in themselves cursed, lost and undone forever. And 
O shnll I say for me even me, and be no more affected when 
beholdine; the representation. O what a heart of stone, what 
an unjeeiinp;hearthave I, that can come to the means 
of grace with so little love and gratitucfe. O the darkness, 
death and inseusibility of my soul It is a wonder that ev- 




ut be- 

can it 
vain : 
[lell at 
name , 
)ut on- 
; thcn» 
1, iinlil 



:1, and 

rcn lo 
f duty, 
y that 
; to the 
to my 
table : 
t that 
it is a 
ith the 
d than 
ly was 
it be I 
led be- 
\e sins 
J, who 
II whtn 
*, what 
hat ev- 

ery sermon I hear, every means of grace I enjoy does not 
carry me beyond all seuae of this mortal world. Yea, could 
I see, who it was that bled and died for every thing, both 
spiritual and temporal, I enjoy, and what great things he 
has done and is still doing for me, my heart would break 
with love to his name. Every thing I sje declares hi» 
love and goodness : Every thing declares that 1 am m-or- 
tal and immortal, and O yet asleep. 

Rouse me, O God, with truths divine, 

From darkness and from death ; 
To view and love that hand of thine 

That gave me life and breath. 
But O awake my soul the more, 

With Jesus' dying love ; . 

That I may his great name adore, 

While mortal life shall move. 
Then when I draw expiring breath, 

And leave this mortal stage ; 
Call me from all these chains of death. 

And sin's infernal rage. 
Let me awake with saints above ; ,. 

Upon the peaceful shore J ^^ 

To bask in everlasting love 

And ever sin no more. 
There I shall bow before his throne, 

And see my Father's face, 
Where death and sin no more are known, 
To sing redeeming grace. 
But O what a mystery of mysteries that I can ex- 
pect ere long to awake with God and enjoy the meek and 
lowly Jesus ; that I can expect an everlasting crown when 
a few years more are gone ; and yet be amused with wliat 
is of no service eithertobodyorsoul. Ihaveoftenthoughttliat 
if I was a christian, had Christ in me the hope of glory, (as 
every christian has) and was really a temple for the living 
God, that I should be so carried away with the impressions 
of that divine union, as to be utterly insensible of anv tliini'- 
in this mortal world. How could I possibly ever liave one 
cold or shmibering hotir ? Why is not my so)il so attract- 
ed by love as to break off all relation with this t'lcmental 
world ? O what a mystery am I to myself ! rcl.itcd to C^od 
and yet a worm ; to heaven and hell ; on a pinnacle be- 
tween two unbounded oceans, with but a moment of time, 
yea, not sure of that, an'^ yet sure of an eternity ; soon to 
cast my die forever and yet unconcernei!. O Lord (jod a- 
wake my soul, my time, my eternity, all that I have, :i:n 





or ever shall be. Be thou mine, and let me be thine for«v« 
er in all I want, I ask no more. 

About the last of July I went to Falmouth, and from 
thence to Newport, where I had not l)een for some time. 
The cluistians were rejoiced to hear the j^ospel, and got 
i'(X)d for tlieir souls. O the privilege of the everlasting 
i^ospel to those who have known the sweetness of divine 
truths ; while the wicked and ungodly reject it, and account 
it as a matter of no importance: and while the christians 
spare no pains to go to hear the gospel, and to attend the 
means of grace, making it the chief of their concern, the 
greatest part of the world look on it as a matter that doth 
not concern them, and pass by them as they would by some 
idle tales. O the blindness of the world! \v ho that ha* 
seen this fallen state, and tasted tlie sweetness of redeem- 
ing k)ve, can forbear to grieve : when they see how many 
thousands pass by and reject the only possible way, that God 
could find out to make them happy, until they rtrc plunged 
into inconceivable ruin, and too late convinced of their mis- 
take, and rue their folly in everlasting misery. Sometimes 
when I have a small view of the state of the fallen world, 
seeing the innumerable disorders, that have ushered in by 
the means of our rebellion, the chains of darkness and death 
that have chained the fallen race down from a sense of their 
condition, the shortness of precious time, the worth of pre- 
cious immortal souls, together with some taste of the 
sweetness of redeeming love and the prospect of the glo-^ 
riouR. way of life and salvation through the incarnation of 
the Deity ; I am so involved in unfathomable myptery, that 
I am ready to cease from all endeavours to labour in the 
Redeemer's cause, because the truths are so important and 
the impressions are so small, yea the truths are so impor- 
tant, that it seems to perplex all attempts ; and obliges one 
to cry out. Lord, who then sliall be saved ? 

Arise ; O Jesus, spread thy gospel grace. 
And help, O help, the dying sinkin.^ race. 
Arouse the supine with thy powerful word ; 
Release the guilty with thy precious blood, 

O WHAT changes is my soul sometimes carried 
through. In my private walks I can pray and rejoice, and 
find a heaven wherever I go : and sometimes I go from 
preaching to preaching, and can neither pray, nor love, nor 
praise j my hea-t feels like a rock, and my heart is bqunci, 




up in a prison, or is in a storm of fear and tcmi^ation, and 
i have no more peace than a man in the greatest misery. 
Yea I am hke a man tl\at has lost all his friends, until Jesus 
returns ; and then I forget all my sorrows ; my soul can 
rejoice in my God, and imagine I shall never see such dark 
hours again. But ah too soon I wander away again Uv my 
pride and unbelieving heart and mourn without the sun : 
yet I have this for my encouragement, that I find mystlf 
not happy nor easy, nor at home, until the comforter re- 

O Jesus, take me in thy heav*nly arms ; 

And \veai\ my soul from all these earthly charnvj : 

Give me a sense ol'lhy eternal iove, 

To raise my drooping soul where'er I rove . 

I AM more and more convinced that the world lies in 
darkness and death, knows nothing of itself nor of 
the Redeemer. Yea, and many that arc called christians, 
call it enthusiasm to talk of enjoying the Holy Spirit 
here in this world, and imagine if they do so and so, God 
will reward them after death ; or that their redemption 
consists in God's being willing that they should come to 
heaven when they die ; and therefore it is unknown to them 
where they are going, or what they will be after death ; 
for it is a secret tlidt belongs to God, to make it manifest, 
when they have done with the world. O the wretched 
blindness of the fallen world I when it is a real truth, that 
man stands here for nothing but to be redeemed, not after 
he is gone from hence, but while he is here ; and if he is 
not redeemed here in this world, he never can be redeemed 
hereafter : and therefore it should be the greatest and only 
mquiry of the creature to know what is done in him, and 
whether he is redeemed or not, and how much he is re- 
deemed from sin and misery ; but so long as he imagines 
his everlasting happiness depends on God's brmging hira 
after death into some hupj^y place called heaven, he will be 
careless al)out getting his soul redeemed now. So thousands 
of souls are kept blind, until they &re gone beyond all re- 
covery. To carry on tliis infernal scheme, a number of 
anti-christian niinisters are labouring wight and day to pixDve 
that a feeling knowledge of redemption in the soul is not to 
be attained, and that all such pretensions are a vain imagi- 
nation and a delusion ; and t^ll their hearers, if they do so 




I : I i: 



and so, and arc l)aptizcd, join the churcli, come to the l.ordV 
table, and do tlicir best in those outward thinp;s, all will be 
well. And thus they ai*e miu'derini^ the precious and im- 
mortal soulr, about them. O that God would awaken and 
convert them, or remove them. And () that all maukincJ 
would believe that they need to be redeemed. 

Lord send thy cjlorioiis word abroad, 
^ And shew the dying" world tlicir slate : , * 

Bring- them to feel the Christ of God, 
Before alas it is too late. 

About this time the work of God began to revive in 
Falmouth. Some nep;roes were taken hold of, and one 
came out and joined the church. Four white people at the 
same time joined the church, and God seemed to be espous- 
ing his cause : many ears were open to hear the gospel, 
and some inquiring after the meel: and lowly Jesus, whom 
they had long rejected, and despised. Ah the despised Je- 
sus indeed ! How many thousands in the w orld that dtspise 
the power of the gospel as the most insignificant matter, or 
as an enemy to their present and everlasting peace. O how 
is my heart sometimes affected at the thought of it. De- 
pendent on him, as we are, for every l^eitth we draw, and 
held up by him from our own helU and invited by his bleed- 
ing wounds to liis own bosom, and yet how little regarded. 
O that n>y head were waters, and my .'yes a fountain of 
tears, that 1 might weep day and night for the slain of the 
sons and daughters of Adam. O that they were wise, that 
they understood this, that they would consider their latter 

I HAVE seen in my travels that the christians, who had 
had a knowledge of the love of God, and the sweetness 
of his blessed name, would regard no trouble, nor spare no 
pains to attend the means of grace, where the gospel is 
preached with power ; while many of the unconverted would 
not only reject it, but seem to make their boast, that they 
could stand against it, or keep from hearing it. I have 
known many crying out, by way of reproach to the chris- 
tians, who held to the power of religion, and would always 
impress the necessity of conversion, Lord, keep me from 
such a conversion. I have often heaixl others, who were 
openly profane, say, I'll be d-m-d, if they will convert me. 
And some others would say, that they would convert their 
horses or dogs. O too shocking,^ too shocking even to be 

l.lli: AM J JOl'R.V.Vf. 












5 re 


tliouc^lif. Thus tlie woi-k of cmvei-s'on, wliicli cost the 
blood of the Son of God, Ibi* which ?^'^n^t tlio world stinds, 
and on which aloro h:in;^s the etL-i'n.d And Miiulterahlc s^atc 
of all the race of A d:^;n, i:» ma<lL' a rMicul'j of ;ibout the 
streets, in frolick, hxlU and taverns. But O \\)it;r^ will 

such ere lonj^ appear, or how will t!ity stand, WMcn tin^ 
mortal mask is thrown OiT; wlieii rocks and mnuntanis wiU 
deny them a shelter, when they must appear before ih.e in- 
finite God, to stand the naked test, and rjceive their ever- 
lastin^f doom ? Ah what heait cm endure the tiioni^ht of 
b-jinijj a spirit of darkness, and a ijjrowinjj blasphemer to all 

I H AVK enjoyed some hapny hours and p^^aceful days, 
but nothint^ to wirat I nii'^ht, if my heart was rii^ht with 
God. vSonietimes when 1 lay down on my bed, my heart 
can rejoice, and I find niy heart m.elted with love to God. 
Sometimes I t^roan, and Uiin from pole tt) pole, and cannot 
find any relief, nor get one groan into hea' en. O the dif- 
ferent scenes of my life 1 Yet blessed be God, it will all 
prove for my good. 

I REMAINED wlth my friends, prea'.hing, praying and 
conversing at every op[)ortanity, and saw many of them on 
the mount. I went to Horton ; tlicre appeared not much 
movings of the Spirit tliere. From thence 1 went to Corn- 
wallis. Some siunts there were now set at liljortv from their 
darkness and distress, wlio had been under great trials. O 
the sweetness of release, when the mourning soid has long- 
been bowed down under doubts and fears, temptations and 
trials ; and when the blessed Redeemer, who is their soul's 
cliief delight, stirs up hi;,; kingdom in their hearts, gives 
them the communication of divine grace, and comforts their 
drooping spu'its with the smiles of Heaven. O the huppy 
exchange from chains to liberty ; from darkness to light ; 
from grief to joy ; from mourning to rejoicing ; from cap- 
tivity to victory : then they can lean on the breast of their 
Beloved, and rejoice in his glorious name. O their is none 
that can tell the sweetness of his love, but those that have 
enjoyed it. 

O the transporting- smiles of Jesus' face 
When he breaks in with his redeeming grace. 
Now does the mourning soul leap and rejoice, 
Soon as they hear their blest Redeemer's voice. 
How soon with joy their fetter'd spirits move 
■ When they can feel one spark of sacred love. 





Ui|28 125 

14 l||||).6 











(716) 872-4503 


















Some time when I have a small taste of redeeming- 
love, and find a nearness to Christ, I sec that beauty, and 
find that divine sweetness in his presence, that it seems as 
if I could not content myself to live any longer under such 
clogs and imprisonments : yet I long to remain to proclaim 
salvation to my fellow-men. Yea, I cannot say that I have 
such u desire for deatii as for liberty. O liberty, liberty. 
All things that were corporeal seem a clog, and every thing 
that was dark airl sinful a strong chair. It seems so un- 
reasonable to live on any thing but God and so unprofitable 
to my own soul, that 1 seem as impatient as a wild bird in a 
cage : for the ligl\t and liberty that I have obtained makes 
nie know myself and discover chains and darkness. () how 
often <.ould I say with Job, O that I knew where I could 
find him, tivat I might come even to his seat ; I would order 
my cause before him and fill my mouth with arguments. 
Ah when I get some small intercourse with Heaven, then I 
l)Lgin to see how little I have, and to open my whole soul 
before God as l)e lore a friend, and sometimes when I am 
thus blest, it appears as if I had almost obtained the victo- 
ry, and, if I could obtain a little more, I should he free, and 
live in the liberty of the gospel, which appeared just before 
me ; but instead of getting out, as I thought I soon should, i 
begin very unexpectedly and almost very imperqeptiljly to 
slip back again into my prison and chains ; and sometimes- 
I think, I was not watchful enough ; and will endeavour the 
next revival I have to be more engaged and certain to hold 
it : and when it comes sometimes, I am so attached to the 
present enjoyments, that i think notiiing about losing it, 
until it is gone ; and when I attempt to watch, I perhaps 
watch i.i my own strength, until I have watched it all away* 
O what a mystery I am to myself! 

August t'.e 28th, I left Cornwallis and went to Hor- 
ton and remained there preaching and visiting my friends* 
Some were inquiring after the blessed Jesus. ButO what 
little inquiring; was there to what we might imagine. O 
the insensil^ility of the fallen world, slumbering away the 
inoinents of proliation like the beasts. How many thou- 
sands are there in the world, that from year's end to year's 
end without asking themselvcs^what they are, where they 
are bound to, where they are from, or where they soon will 
be. Although their everlasting concerns are dependent on 
these few fleeting moments. How alarming would it be if 



auty, and 
seems as 
nder such 
► proclaim 
lat I have 
Yy liberty. 
very thing 
ns so un- 
d bird in a 
led makes 
s. () how 
re I could 
oiild order 
ven, then 1 
whole soul 
/hen I am 

the victo- 
le free, and 
I just before 
)n should, 1 
qeptiUy to 

leavour the 
ain to hold 
•bed to the 
losin<5 it, 

I perhaps 

it all away* 

;nt to Hor- 
[ny friends* 
iutO what 
lagine. O 
away the 
liany thou- 
lid to year's 
Ivvhere they 
ly soon Avill 
Ipendent on 
3uld it be if 


some angel was to inform them of tlie fall of a new made 
angelic glol)e v/ith all its innumerable inhabitants. How 
great would be our anxiety for a possibility of their recov- 
ery. But how much more affecting would be the next in- 
formation by an angel that a way of recovery was opened 
for them by the gift of God himself to their fuUen state,but 
was disregarded and rejected by them for years and ycM'Si 
while he wassufiering in their streets, in making use of ev- 
ery possible metiiod to get an admittance with his oflered 
grace. O how would it awake hi our hearts ten thousand 
queries, fears, griefs, resentment and ardent longings too 
big to be contained, and too confused to be expressed or 
regulated, and incupal)le of producing advice, or prosecu- 
ting the result. And thus, O thus and te?» thousand times 
more and worse than cur. be expressed, or even conceived, 
is the state and conduct, and unfathomable mis(M-y of the in- 
habitants of this world. O astonishing, astonishing ! 
Can it be that immortal souls, uplieldfrom tht-ir own self-tor- 
menting despair, and tiiat b ' the bleeding hand of an incar-» 
nate God, invited, alarme 1, persuaded, intreatjd and woo- 
ed by all the expressions and endearing charms of the heav- 
enly Comforter to flee to the arms of self-existent love, and 
take up xn everlasting al)ode in the realms of eternal bliss, 
and yet asleep, or rise in opposition to all that has been or 
can be done, and all this while all the miseries of an eternity 
of exquisite tortures and keen despair are threating every 
breath to engulf the unguarded throng ? Christ bleeding, 
dying, rising ; the Holy Spirit striving, hell threatening 
and the wide extended gates of heaven waiting to receive 
the self-condemned and self-tormented to eternal joy. And 
yet O must it be said, that the fallen world is sleeping, 
musing, rejecting, fighting and opposing all the endearing 
charms, cutting, chaining, tormenting and plunging them- 
selves down deeper and deeper into the bottomless gulf of 
irrevocable despair. O the wretched state of mankind ! 
Ah I how low are they fallen, and what a miserable con- 
dition are they in, and exposed to encreasing misery for 
ever. Sometimes when I have a small sense of man's 
wretched state ; O how my heart akes, and what shall I say, 
or what shall I do ? It is God only that can help them ; yes 
and would help them, if they would receive his help j but 
they love darkness rather than lijfht. 



I I 


Jcsvis, extend thy arms of prare . '.- * •♦ 

To save the poor unhappy ruc^'. ,* ^ • '* 

O pluck them from the gates of hell, 

Til at ihey may yet in glory dwell. 
Thp; 1st of September I set out for Annapolis county 
with warm desires to spread the Redeemer's kingdom, and 
as it is Ciod that gives those longing desires, they cannot be 
wholly in vain, nor utterly lost. And () I thought I could 
say many times when going from place to place to pro- 
claim the Redeemer's name, that I could freely give up 
soul and body for that end, and let mc meet with what op- 
position I might from any quarter whatever, if God was 
with me, I regarded it not, and could find a longing desire 
to be for God only, and to be spent for the good of souls. 
Yea and although my trials were great from various quar- 
ters, yp t 1 would not exchange stations of life with the 
greatest Monarch on the Globe. O wliat sweetness do I 
often find in the greatest storms, when I find my Jesui 

Let all the siorms of earth engage^ , . ,- 

And hell with her infernal rage ; 

I can their threat'nings all defy, 

Long MS I find my Jesus nigh. 
O THAT I could lean upon him all my days, and feel a 
sense of his love and presence, that I might be humble at 
his feet and his great name exalted. Lord Jesus, I cannot 
live without thee : nothing, nothing but thyself can make 
me happy ; for thou art all in all. O be with me, be with 
me, wherever I go, and give me much of thy Spirit, to 
make me faithful in thy glorious cause ; Lord, let me be 
thine for ever. 

September 5th. I went down to Granville, where X 
preached, and found the work of God still reviving. But 
when I speak of the work reviving, I am astonished. I 
stand aghast, that I am not more affected for wha«. I see ; 
and no more alarmed because I see no more. How, O 
how can I sleep and slumber, when I as much believe, as 
I believe I have a being, that if the last trumpet were this 
moment to sound the dreadful peal, that not only the great- 
est part of the world of mankind, which I never saw, but 
even of those with whom I labour, converse, eat and drink* 
would in an instant of time awake blasphemers in hell ? Lord 
God, pity the souls thou hast made, and shake them, O shake 
them by judgments or mercies to a sense of their misera* 

^ r 

m, and 
mot be 
[ could 
to pro- 
ive up 
hat op- 
)d yv'ds 
; desire 
: souls, 
s quar- 
ith the 
ss do I 
' JesuSk 

d feel a 
ble at 
e with 
irit, to 
me be 

^here T 

kd. I 
I see ; 

low, O 

ive, as 

re this 


r, but 


I? Lord 

♦. * • ' ••' LIF£ AND JOURNAL. * Vo 

blc, lost coiuiilion, before the mediatoiial hour is past. Save 

Ihem, save them, O thou mighty C^od ot Jacob. 

Gird on, O Prince of Peace, thy gospel sword, 
Ride in the chariot of thy sacred word. 
, From land lo laud, thro' every nation tread, 
To raise immortal spirits from the dead. 

O THAT God would make mc, even me a Morthless 
worm, instrumental in calling many soiils liomc to (iod ! 
O that I might spend, and be spent in proclaiming the ever- 
lasting gospel, and that many souls migi^t for ever cast 
their crowns at his feet, and raise irnu'iorta) lionotu's to his 
glorious name for blessings sent them by :ny stammering 
tongue. Atthistimelsawtlie greatest society that 1 ever had 
seen in Aiui*«polis ; more nvmibers joined the church and 
many dinners under conviction, inquiring they mi>st 
do to be saved, and the christians rejoicing in their Redeem- 
er. O that Jesus would still go on to revive his kingdom 
in the hearts of the sons of men, that they may be redeem- 
ed from eternal death, and in his everlasting love. liul I 
have reason likewise, and more so, to say, O that the sons 
of men would receive him : for there is nothing in Ck)d to 
keep sinners from redeeming love and everlasting joy ; 
neither is it possible for him to with -hold any good thing 
from any good creature that will recieve it. God being 
infinite in love and compassion flows from his goodness to 
every empty vessel. But as the weeds that turn from the 
sun grow sour, so any creature, angel or man that turns 
from God, grows dark, malicious and miserable. O the 
danger and deplorable condition of turning from God. O 
how has the thought of a separate state fix)m God racked 
my very soul : especially when I see the overflowing good- 
ness of the Divine Being, that would fain make them hap- 
py, even all that will be happy. And against this, yea all 
this, O how many thousands are miserable ; considering 
that it is against so much love and condescension. O the 
cutting reflections of losing all happiness and enduring all 
misery of choice. When I take a small view of these 
things and man's miserable condition, and consider where 
we are from, what we now are, and what wc must soon 
be, O how does my soul awake with surprise, and labour 
under the weighty consideration, and groan for myself and 
fellow-men. O howdollamentandrepentman'sfirstrebellion 
and fall, and long that they may be redeemed. O how does 

! A 



I 1 

my soul pant for the spreading of the blessed gospel, and 
the impressmg the name of the blessed Jesus on the hearts 
of thousands : especially when I have a small view of the 
miserable ct/.dition of the souls that are out of Christ, and 
the unspeakable misery that awaits them. O what happy 
hours do I find when I can lean upon Christ by a lively faith, 
and feel the impressions of God*s blessed name, and the 
power of hi>s redeeming spirit on my soul : but if not , C) 
how distressing and unhappy I waste my golden hours and 
days. And O the sudden changes of my mind. One hour 
I can preach, pray or discourse with my soul at liberty, and 
warmed with divine love ; vnvi the next hour all that 1 say 
or do feels dry and barren, and my soul fightii>g in a stoim 
with the current of the world, the flesh and the devil a- 
gainst mc. 

Great blessings attended my preaching through 
Maugerville on the river St, Johns, where 1 had now ar- 
rived, especially among the christians. The church seem- 
ed greatly revived, ti'avelling in love ; some were added to 
the churchy and some poor sinners awakened : and I still 
found (blessed be God) a longing desire to spread the bles- 
sed name of my blessed Master. O Lord Jesus, grant a 
double portion of thy blessed spirit. Yea, Lord, what doth 
my soul so much long for ? 

Not all the riches of the mortal staje, 
Could half so much my soul engage. 

Some time in the last November I came down to the 
mouth of the river St. Johns, and was obliged to stay some 
time there, waiting for a passage. I preachedamong the peo- 
ple there, and spent all the time I could with my pen ; and 
enjoyed some happy hours while 1 was there, almost every 
day. But considering how I am indulged, I am a faithless 
vine ; for I have all that I need in this world, God goes with 
me and preserves me by sea and by land, both night and 
day, and yet how little is my heart affected therewith. How 
little is my soul drawn out to love him who gave his life 
for me. Sometimes I have thought I could not contain my- 
self any longer so far from Got'. I was like a restless crea- 
ture in prison. But ah, fallen asleep again in some de- 
gree, and do not wrestle as I ought. O that God would 
make me useful to those people, that they might receive 
some blessings from God by me, and O that he would re- 
ward them for their kindness to me. But ah, I fear man/ 



el, and 
b hearts 
of the 
i&t. and 
. happy 
ly faith, 
and the 
not, C) 
>urs and 
ine hour 
rty, and 
at 1 say 
a stoi m 
devil a- 

tli rough 
now ar- 
:h seenv* 
added to 
d 1 still 
the bles- 
grant a 
lat doth 

to the 
ly some 
the peo- 
t;n ; and 
it every 
)es with 
ght and 
his life 
in my- 
ss crea- 
me de- 
luld rC" 

of them willlose all their reward, because they have not a 
principle of divine love m their soul. 

Novp:mber the 25th, 1 landed in Cornwallis. O that 
I was suitably affected of the kindness of God with me. 
How nuich have 1 seen of his care over me, and yet how 
little do 1 love him. He has been with me by night and by 
day, by sea and by land, has guarded and supported my 
body, fed and encouraged my soul, and often blest my la- 
bours for the good of others. O that I could live under a 
continual sense of his goodness, and be willing to be any 
thing, and to go any where, that might be for liis glory, my 
good, and the good of others. But O the remains of sin 
and darkness are often like chains and fetters to my soul. 
Gire me love and humility, O my God. 

The Sabbath-day I preached, and the Lord was pleas- 
ed to come with his spirit in a remarkable manner to mc 
and others. I thought 1 longed to proclaim the gospel, that 
I felt, from land to land, and be worn out in so sweet a cause. 
Witness, O land, the goodness of my God ; 
And every creature spread his name abroad. 
Witness, ye silent arbours, where I rove, 
How often there my soul has found his love. 
And silent vales where lonely hours I trod. 
How often I enjoy'd the smiles of God. 
Witness, ye turifs of moss, where often I 
Have kneelM, and found my blest Redeemer by. 
O the sweet wondtrs of that blood divine. 
That makes all things, and life immortiJ mine. 
.• There would I spend my fleeting hours in praise* 

And never leave till I shall see his face. 
Let me with Jesus through this desert rove 
Till I shall be in the bright worlds above, 
Where nothing shall be known to break my love. 

November the 28th, I went with a number of the 
brethren from Cornwallis to Horton to meet the churches 
of Horton and Falmouth there, in order to settle some mat 
ters in dispute, to heal breaches, and make up divisions. 
There seemed to be a desire for unity in many ; but some 
were so stiff in non-essentials, that they were not willing to 
walk with those that differed from them in those matters. 
O that christians would bear and forbear I And what for- 
bearance is there if we cannot walk with those that differ 
with us in some non-essential points. For my own part I 
have always been very positive ever since I knew the differ* 





ence between the form and power of religion, not to receive 
or walk with any as christians that had not known a work of 
grace in their souls, or had not a living Christ in their souls ; 
for which I have often been called censorious, and unchari- 
table ; but I desire no charity without grounds. But as for 
any difference in non-essential matters or the externals of 
religion, they never were, iTor I hope, ever will be any bar 
to me in walking or communing with those I believe to be 
followers of the Lamb in sincerity and in truth ; and have 
the life of religion, although they might differ from me 
in many small matters : for if Jesus loves them, and bears 
with what they call errors in judgment, why should poor 
man reject or call that common or unclean, which, I really 
believe, Christ has cleansed. Yea, were we to take all our 
externals of religion, all our principles and tenets, which 
were even according to the letter of the word, without a 
living Saviour, what would they all avail ? Yea, put all that 
ever was known or done by man, without the Spirit of God 
in one scale, and the scanty love and humility of a poor ig- 
norant, broken hearted christian (that seems to know no- 
thing about any principles) and it would so far overbalance 
the other, as to enter the gates of heaven) reach the heart 
of the kingdom of glory, while the other with all his prin- 
ciples would be driven al)out in the wmd like the smoke of 
Cain's unaccepted sacrifice. O that every christian would 
remember that command of their blessed Lord and Mas- 
ter, and comply therewith. Labour (saith he) not for the 
meat that perisheth, but for that meat that endureth to ever- 
lasting life. What are all the externals of religion without 
the power, and the love of the living God ? And when they 
enjoy that love, it makes all things right. If it is love that 
fulfils the law, and nothing but love, O love him, love him, 
ye followers of the Lord, and then, O then you will sinceri- 
ly love one another. 

About the Jtst of December I went to Falmouth, 
found the christians well ti avelling in love and unity. I re- 
mained a short season with them, had many happy hours, 
and our hearts were in some degree knit together like Da- 
vid and Jonathan's. I preached and conversed with them, 
and then went to Halifax to commit a small piece of my 
writings to the press. O the trials I went through there 
to see the darkness and death of that great throng of peo- 
ple, and no door to proclaim the |;ospel, as my toul longed 




mrk of 
souls ; 
t as for 
nals of 
my bar 
t to be 
d have 
)m me 
d bears 
d poor 
[ really 
all our 
, which 
thout a 
all that 
of God 
)oor ig- 
low no- 

IS prin- 
»oke of 


ter the 
|o ever- 


;n they 

Ive that 

yt him, 



I rc- 

I hours, 

Le Da- 


|of my 




to do it. O with what joy would I labour night and day, 
if I might be the means of awakening some of their pre- 
cious and immortal souls, and bring them to Christ. <) 
Jesus, send me, send me in thy blessed name to the dying 
world. Give me, O Lord, for my portion to spend and be 
spent in thy vineyard, and bring many souls to the knowl- 
edge of thyself. After I had committed my writing to the 
press, 1 returned to Falmouth. 

About the loth of December I rode to Horton, and 
met the church, and a blessed day it was to my soul wliilj 
proclaiming the gospel, awd many of the christians were re- 
joicing in their Gc !, and telling the wonders of his love. 
O the sweet moments and happy days, that I have seen iu 
the house of God among the christians, a 'lappincss that 
the world knows nothing of. Well might the proplict say, 
He would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of God, tlian 
to dwell in the tents of wickedness. O let my never-jnd- 
ing portion be among that people, whose God is the 
Lord J let their God be my God, and their joys be my joys. 

let me live, O let me reign, 

' . With those that do my Jesus love : 

1 count no other portion gain, 
And long to meet them all above. 

I REMAINED in Horton preaching in various places, 
and the Lord was with me, and often gave me so much of 
his presence, as lifted me up" above the world. The next 
week I went to Newport, where I met the church and 
communed with them. I enjoyed some happy hours tlicre, 
but passed through some distressing moments under a 
sense of hardness of heart and stupidity of mind. The 
next morning I awoke very early, and was thinking about 
the important scenes of the day 4)efore. Although I had 
then much freedom and great blessings ; yet when I came 
to look back upon it, I found I was so little affected, had so 
little profittcd, was so little humbled, so little filled with Icve 
to God for his grace, that it all appeared almost one un- 
mixed evil, and not fit to be seen or looked upon by a God 
of holiness and purity. O how full of sin did all my devo- 
tion appesrr, especially when I saw in whose presence I 
was, and what I was then doing. I was not only the!> 
preaching the everlasting gospel of the Kiilid om of Glory, 
on which hangs the eternal state of all the sons of men, 
^d ought to awake every heart to receive it, but likewise 





rcprcscntinp; the most «iolemn, the most aflecting, and the 
luo&t inii^oitant scene that ever \vill be seen hy angels or 
men : even the broken body of an incarnate God, God and 
man on Calvary's Mount, bleeding and dying for the sins 
of tlie fallen race. O astonishing, and I no more cngs^ed) 
uo more afl'ected I 

About the 2 1st of December I went to Horton. The 
lord gave me great freedom in proclaiming the everlasting 
gospel. But O what a wonder is it, that I say, I believe 
that the infinite (iod goes with me, and assists me to pro- 
claim these trutiis, which eternally concerns all the sons of 
men, and that I am no more affected I Can He that rules 
self-existent and unchangeably condescend to stoop so low ? 
O shall he, before whom angels and archangels bend with 
reverence and humility ; yea, before whom millions and 
millions of worlds are as a grain of sand, be ever engaged 
for the welfare of such a miserable wretch as I am, and at- 
tend my faithful labours in the gospel, and I have no more 
gratitude ? O death, darkness and ingratitude ! The very 
rocks would melt with gratitude at what I profess to be- 
lieve. Sometimes (although I enjoy much of God at 
times) I have seen such a disproportion between what I 
am, and what I ought to be, or between what I profess to 
believe and what I feel, that I have been almost ready to 
say, that it was all only the force of imagination. But yet, 
O blessed God, there is a reality, and although the chris- 
tians are imprisoned, while in this mortal state, yet they 
have that acquaintance and enjoyment of God, that the 
world knows nothing of, and will certainly advance in their 
victory of death, sin and self more and more, till th«y have 
landed far beyond the reach of all these chains and disor- 

God will indulge his children with his hand 
To lead them sate thro' all this desort land, 
And then will call them from this mortal shore 
To realms of light, where death is known no more. 

O THE stupidity, blindness and miserable condition the 
world is in ! how is it possible that men, whose seuls are 
to exist for ever, either in happiness or misery, can be so 
careless and unconcerned, as if they were all devoted to their 
several places, and doomed to their happiness or miseries 
by some irresistible, arbitrary decree without the use of any 
u^eans ; or whether they embraced a Saviour or net. An4 

id the 
els or 
xl and 
le sins 


to pro- 
sons of 
t rules 
olow ? 
id with 
•ns and 
and at- 
D more 
le very 
to be- 
;od at 
what I 
>fess to 
;ady to 
ut yet, 


It they 

at the 

In their 

y have 




lion the 

lis are 

be so 

lo their 


of any 


how much more inconsistent with truth, aiul cruel to their 
own eternal state do they con(Uict, when they aie indulged 
with a few moments of probation out of clerical now, aiid 
the means of their salvation inseparable with the emis, ail 
the woi Id fallen and condemned and undone ; with redeem- 
ing love all around them ; destruction beneath them ; liie 
avenj^er of blood pursuing and mercy inviti'K; them ; liie 
Spirit of God striving with them, and the Kcdeemer sayng 
to them, He that belicveth shall be saved, and 'he that be- 
lieveth not shall be damned : and yet poor man sleeps aw?.y 
his hours of probation ; those few moments on which turns. 
the scale of his everlasting fate ; or is careless and uncon- 
cerned, as if there was nothing more than the loss or price 
of some empty shadow at stake: although the happiness 
on the one hand is infinitely unspeakable, and the misery 
<on the other hand inexpressibly intolerable, and both c* car- 
nal and unalterable. And these few moments are all tlie 
time that ever he will have through the endless ages of e- 
ternity to embrace the one ?nd escape the other. I) auKiz- 
ing, amazing ! And yet the greatest part of the world, and 
many of those who profess to believe these things squander 
away day after day, month after month, and year after year, 
eating and drinking, sleeping and waking, and 
Jestinjj, in all manner of vain amusements, sinful pleasures, 
and insignificant employments as stupid and careless as the 
very beasts; until thousands and tens of thousands cfrop 
out of all pcjssibility of redemption into keen despair. 

A BOUT the 2'5th of December I went to Cornwallis, and 
remained thereuntil the 1st of January. I preached oflin 
there among the people, and found many of the chrisiiaiis 
very lively in religion, but there remained still some dis- 
putes between the baptists and congregationals about wa* 
ter-baptism. Many hours were very unprofiiably spont by ' 
some of the christians, contending abov't it. O the infinite 
goodness of Ciod to bear the infirmities of his childrer.. 
How much tradition, superstition and idolatry do we beur 
about us, yet he loves us, often man'fcsting his presence : 
jea, I am convinced so great is God*8 love and compassion 
to the fallen world, that he will leave no stone unturned to 
bring them to eternal rest j and does often bless christi.ius 
of different sentiments ; not only to teach us a spirit o; K}i;- 
bearance;^ but likewise to manifest his infinite love and re;v 




Her* BtRKY allinbS 


tl i 







diness to forgive. It is a great degree of darknesi and self- 
conccil that we are possessed of, when we imaf»ine that Ciod 
will not bless any people with his spirit and love, who dif- 
fer* with us in non-essentials. () the great goodness and 
forbearance of Gotl to his children. Who can but love 
him for his condescension and kindness. Although we arc 
full of all manner of wickedness and disorders while passing 
through this world, yet his love is so gi*eat, that he give* 
U'' his presence and his smiles, which are worth ten thous- 
and worlds. Yea, saith the prophet, In all their afflictions 
he was afflicted, and the angel of his presence preserved 
them. Sometimes I had suth a sense of his goodness, 
that 1 wondered all the world did not love him ; and long- 
ed to have more liberty in my own soul from darkness and 
unbelief, that I might proclaim his love and goodness. Yea, 
sometimes I almost wish to be dissolved, to be where I 
might love and praise him without any fetters or interpos- 
ing clouds : for it seems as if it only marred and degraded 
the goodness of God, when I attempt to speak of it here in 
this imprisoned and corrupted state. Well ; the time is 
coming) if I belong to the spiritual house of Israel, and have 
known the Redeemer's love in my heart, that I shall share 
in the glorious liberty of the sons of God and rejoice for 
ever, where sin and death are known no more. O is it my 
lot, is it my lot ? Shall I one day rejoice with those whose 
God is the Lord, and sin and sorrow no more ? O the un- 
speakable joys of the upper world ! One glimpse of it 
makes my heart rejoice even while in this rmprisoned state. 
O I am lost with wonder and joy, when I think what great 
things God will do for them that love him. O a never end- 
ing eternity of joy for them. But O the unhappy state of the 
wicked ! How little happiness do they enjoy even in this 
world. How much grief, pain and trouble do they undergo. 
They toil, labour and dig, turn and twist to find some rest 
and happiness, but find none ; there stdl remains an uneasi- 
ness within. Yea the most hardened wretches in the world) 
when distressing hours come, and death stares them in the 
&ce, tu-e racked with distressing fears and dreadful ex- 
pectations. The fears of death and destruction will threat- 
en and alarm them at times, although at other time« thej 
seem ever so easy and quiet in their minds. 

Whv precioni souls, why , why, unguarded thuf, 
leict with foes from hell on every side 



id scir- 
at (iod 
ho diP. 
ss and 
It love 
we arc 
; give* 

i long- 
ess and 
s. Yea, 
^hcre I 
; graded 

here in 
time is 


nd have 
11 share 
>ice for 
is it my 
: whose 
the un- 
se of it 
ed state, 
it great 
rer end- 
:e of the 
in this 
me rest 
e world, 
n in the 
dful ex- 
l thr^at- 
eB thej 

Insulting thy short hours of broken peace : 
Why, wasting momenti* bought witli blo<Kl divine, 
In quest of that which hut au^nients thy (^rict. 
Wliy pre»t with sorrows ; knd thy little bark, 
Of mortal life, that floats so near the gulf 
So much exposM, invaded ev'ry hour 
While that blc»t hand (and must 1 say that hlcad) 
That snans the realms immense, that liolds wiih l(>ve« 
^ Seraphic millions in their sacred flam?, 

Stretch'd from the realms of self-existent love 
To guard thy life, thy foes defeat, redeem 
From death's dark vault, attract with joys divine. 
And lead to the realms of uncreated light ; 
Where pleasure reigns uninsuhed with fcnr. 
And far, yea far from changes, loss or night. 
O why immortal spark, why, why refuse 
Unmingled joys, to court eternal pain ? 
"Vhy hug sad hours of fear and deep distress, 
• And disregard the joys of endless day. 

Why wear thy chains in dungeons dark before 
Angelic freedom and immortal crowns. 
Leave, leave O urdiappy wanderers that sue 
For joys within this mortal urb. O leave 
Those stars delusive for tke Ntar that leads, 
from dark abodes to th* uncreated sun : 
Leave death, fear, foes, dark and slavish chains 
For Jesus (tho despis'd) and all his realms 
Of sacred love and glories uncreate. 
And may I see you there, O there with him. 
That spake all worlds to move ; and join, O join 
With countless seraphs in immortal songs 
In love eternal as the God himself. 
Another year is drawn to a period, and O what have 
I done, what advance have I made in the only thing for 
which I have my being ? How many thousands have land- 
ed in the eternal world since this year commenced, whose 
die is cast and doom unalterably fixed, and I am spared ? 
But O if I look back on the year past and review my walk) 
how dark and how crooked is it, and how little have I ad- 
vanced my Redeemer's name, and how little useful have I 
been to my fellow-men. 

My fleeting years how are they fled away 

And hurry to the grave without delay ; 

Soon, soon they'll plunge me from this mortal shore 

To worlds where months and years are known Ro more. 

O Jesus, Jesus, fit me for the change. 

And call me far beyond the reach of painSy 

To join with angels in immortal itraini. 



REV. he:*rt alline's 



' •!. 

\ if 






Kind hand thut led nie through the exhausted ye«r 

And bid reluming earth once more appear. 

But O how much of years and moments past, 

Are to myself and fellow mortals lost. 

How little have I spread my Saviour's praise, 

How liiile progress in his sacred ways. 

O niiglit I now begin my life anew 

And bid my former sloth and sins adieu. 

Awake, O blessed God, awake my heart, 

With every lust and idol dear to part, 

Whatc'er I harbour that rejects thy reign 

My willing soul implores to have them slain. 

Ah blessed God, whale'er rejects thy grace 

Let them be brought and slirtii before thy face. " 

Ajid O inspire my soul with grace divine 

That I may be bf)th soi.i and body thine. 

And lead n e, blessed God, where'er I go, 

With lieavenly zeal the gospel trump to blow. 

O send me, send me in thy blessed name. 

The glorious words of Jesus to proclaim, 

Wliere'er thovi cast my lot, where'er I rove,. 

Inspire my tongue to sound redeeming love. 

Endow my soul with meekness of the Laiab 

To spread thy dying, bleeding, rising fame. 

Strip me of self, and fill me wi»:b thy grace, 

To sound glad tidings to the fallen race. 

Methinks I long, O blessed God, to spread 

Thy gospel wonders to restore the dead. 

Send me, O Go. I, and teach the blind to sec,, 

And in thy name to set the captives fr .e. 

Send me with gospel cares^unto the deaf 

And Gilead's Balm to give the sick relief. 

Let me awake the mciPt unfeeling race. 

And comfort mourners with thy gospel grace. 

Let me- proclaim my dear Redeemer*£ charms 

To lead his children to their Saviour's arms. 

Thy lambs unto thy bosom let me guide 

And wounded spirits to thy bleeding side. 

Take me O God into thy heavenly care. 

And lead a worm thy goodness to declajt, 

Devote me in the essentials of thy name 

To spread ihe meekness of the bleeding Lamb. 

Teach me to count all earthly joys but loss. 

That I may spread the wonders of the cross* 

O let me face a frowning world with joy ; 

Engage the powers nf darkness to destroy. 

And hoM me soft within thy blessed arms. 

From earthly grandeur and alluring charms. 

O let me now begin my days anew. 

With joy thy gospel wonders to pursue. 



.» Enf^g^e my soul to spread thy name abroad, 
And give approaching moments to my God. 
What days to come, kind Heaven intends tor mc, 
My cheerful soul, O God, devote to thee. 
And fcverj' power of life and soid engag-e 
By grace divine, while on tli.s mortal stage ; 
Then in the last decline of mortal breath, 
Help me with joy to triumph over death. 
And in my dying gi'oans let me proclaim 
The wonders of my dear Redeemer's name. 
O let me tell to the surviving race 
Redecining love and his unbounded grace. 
Then from these changing scenes oi day and night 
Let me with sacred ardour take my flight ; 
Leanine my soul upon my heavenly friend, 
Find all my labours and my sorrows end. 
My soul redeemed from death and endless woe, 
"Will bid farewell to all these scenes below. 
Cheerful IMl reach the blest the blissful shore 
Where sin and death shall plague me never more. 
There, there, with all the glorious hosts above, 
My soul shall feast on everlasting love. 
And live with Jesus on those peaceful plaint 
Where every saint in love immortal reigns. 
O blessed Jesus, shal? my portion be 
Forever found bound up with joy in thee ! 
O shall I once hear my Redeemer say 
Come happy, happy spirit come away i 
Come home unto the saints* eternal rest, 
And lean upon your great Redeemer's brcMt ? 
O shall I, shall I, blessed Jesus, reign 
Where I shall never never sin a^ain ? 
There endless ages on the blissful shore 
Let me be found thy goodness to adore. 
There give my longing soul a humble place 
Near thy dear feet, to sing redeeming grace, 
There let me sound thine everlasting fame ; 
And give the glory to the slaughter'd Lamb. 

January, 1781. This year I intend, if Ood permit, 
to pen down the travels of my soul every day, which in the 
tjme past I have not done. 

1st. In the morning I enjoyed happy moments with 
my Lord and Master ; after which I was in great darkness. 
In the evening I preached a sermon, I thought, und«r 
the greatest sense of darkness and hardness of heart, 
that ever I had. Then went to my lodgings under 
the same trials ; but about 1 1 o'clock at night I received a 
jewel I trust firom God on some deep points' of diirinit]^* 







which I hud Ion" been searching after, and which will be 
in some of my writings. 

2d. This day I left Com wallis for Annapolis. O may 
the Lord direct my ways this cay, and teach my heart to 
spread his worthy praises. I erijoyed some blessed hours 
and some darkness. In the evening just before I came to 
an inn, I had a blessed visit to my soul. O that I was 
more humble I 

3(1. O THE joyous moments of this moaning ! How 
can my soul endure the absence of my God. O God de- 
liver me from these storms, or make them useful to my 
soul and fellow-men, as thou has done trials before. 

4th. Blessed be God, he does not leave his children 
long without some relief. In the morning my «oul was 
under great tribulations, in the evening leaping for joy. 

Ten thousand praises to this God belong", ' 
O could I make his goodness all my song : ^ 
And tell the world the greatness of his care, 
And bring my fellow men his love to share. 
5th. Methinks I feel in a great degree the awful 
distance I am plunged from God by my rebellion, I find 
some longing desires for redemption from this gulf. O 
when shall I get the victory over the remains of self, and 
be more freed from these chains of death and darkness. In 
the evening I preached and found some liberty. 

6th. Blessed be God for the union I found in the 
morning and likewise in the evening. O that I could walk 
in humility, and be useful in his blessed cause, O that I 
might all my days be married to the Redeemer and his 
kingdom ] 

7th. This morning in a solitary walk I enjoyed a 
greater nearness to God than I have for many months. 
Being the Sabbath I preached two sermons to a great so* 
ciety, and it f/as a day of God*s power. 

8th. Lord, rouse my heart with grace divine, - 
Antl let me be entirely thine, 

While mortal life remains. 
Then in the glorious rfealms above 
With those that sing Redeeming love 

I'll raise the highest strains. 

9th. O the unbounded goodness of God to visit the 
sons of men with such blessings as he has this day ; and 
my soul has had a share with them. But O what returns 
have I made [ * ., 



)yed a 
;at so- 

^it the 
; turns 

\ t 

loth, This morning in some degree I waked vithv 
God, and had a sence olthe world's being held up by the 
Redeemer. O that the world knew that they were al- 
ways moving in God, and acting for eternity. 

O Jesus, help me near thy face, 

Inspir'd with love divine : 
And give my sovil a humble place, 

Neai' the dear tcet ot" thine. 

1 1th., O WHAT a load of death and darkness I am bur- 
dened with, and O how little of God*s love do I know and 
enjoy ! yet methinks 1 long for release, liberty, love and 
humility ; then I should be useful in tlie Redeemer's bless- 
ed kingdom, and rejoice in his name. 

12th. Many changing scenes I am carried through. 
Sometimes I am in some degree on Pisgah's top and then 
down with Jonah to the bottom of the mountains, and the I 
earth with her bars are about me. O the christian's life is 
a mixture of grief and joy. 

13th. O that my trials might all further mc in my 
way to the kingdom. But O I often say, how can it be 
that I am a christian : are the frames I pass through con- 
sistent with a redeemed soul ? O Lord undertake for me. 

I4th. O THB goodness of God to me I Why am I not 
more filleii ivith love to God, when I am so indulged still 
with his grace as 1 have seen and enjoyed to day ? especi- 
ally when I was preaching ; and had a great sense of the 
worth of precious souls. 

15th. I THINK I have longing desires to walk nearer 
to God, but the pride of my heart leads me astray. O the 
sin and corruption that remains in my soul ! How little do 
I love, how little do I serve, and how little am I redeemed 
from self. 

1 6th. O THE ten thousand chains of death and dark- 
ness that man is bound down with. I thought some'.imes 
I had some light and life, knew something of God, and had 
some sense of divine truths : and yet I can pass by the 
cross of Christ, the dying groans and bleeding wounds of 
the Son of God, with my soul but little more affected than 
the stones. O that God would awake me, and bless me 
with life divine, while this mortal life endures. 

1 7th. O COULD I rise this morning with all my soul 
to spread my Saviour's name, ar^l devote my life, while 
minutes roll, to tell the goodness oi the Lamb : but O how 





little life and activity do I have. In the morning clouds and 
darkness ; in the evening, while preaching, some light, 
life and humility : but soon my heart begins to stray again. 
18th. O THAT 1 could feel more of the worth of pre- 
cious and immortal souls, that 1 might be engaged in my 
Master's cause ; but I find so much sloth, ignorance and 
unbelief, that I am almost useless. 

19th. The scenes and trials of the night past uncom- 
mon, () shocking scene too great to be expressed. 
When midnight slumbcs in an instant fled, 
And left me trembling in furious storms, 
With lieliish monsters round my restless mind ; 
And a black gulf that yawn'd beneath my feet. 
O how I shudder at the bell within ! 
O lor redemption from blasphemous self! 
It is impossible to tell the racks of distress that I was 
under when seeing and feeling the hellish nature that re- 
mains in my body of sin and death. For three hours I 
could neither pray, praise nor rest, but was so wounded, that 
it seemed enough to separate my soul from my body. Yet 
I esteem the discovery as a precious jewel, shewing me 
more than ever I saw before, the deplorable condition fallen 
man is in. 

20th. This day I continued under a solemn sense of 
the last night's travail. In the evening got some release. 
I implored that God would shew me still some important 
scenes that seemed in some degree to be on my mind, but 
could not discover what they meant, or what the Lord in- 

2 1st. I STILL retained a weight on my mind from what 
was past, but sometimes got some happy moments, and 
trust after God with the weight of divine truths on my 
mind. O that God would lead and support me. I preach- 
ed to a great number and saw miich of the power of God 
even among the opposers« 

22d. This morning I thought I found some longing 
desi 'es after love and humility. O that God would bring 
me near to himself. In the evening falling into a society, 
I was desired to preach, and the Lord was, I trust, there, and 
it proved a tiessing to some souls. O may the Loixl's name 
be praised in and by me. 

23d. I HAD this morning some happy hours. In the 
evening I preached, and had great liberty. Some of those 
who had been in opposition seemed to have their ear** 

ids and 
; light, 
r again, 
of pre- 
in my 
ice and 


Eit I was 
that re- 
hours I 
kd, that 
dy. Yet 
ring me 
m fallen 

ense of 

|ind, but 

.ord in- 

\m what 
Its, and 

on my 

>f God 

:re, and 
is name 

In the 
)f those 
lir earn 



opened, and attended with earnest desires for ti blessing, 
«ind, 1 trust, received some. God*s name be praised for it. 

S4th. Othe unspeakable trials of mind I had in the 
forepart of this day I God deliver me from them, and grant 
me the joy that is in believing. In the evening I preach- 
ed, and a blessed evening it was to my soul and to those of 
others. O what an unsanctiiied wretch I am ! 

25th. O THE darkness, death and misery the world is 
in ! Methinks I have a sense sometimes of millions and 
millions that are pressing down to ruin. O that they knew 
in this their day the things belonging to their peace, that 
fheir souls might be saved in the day of Christ's appearing. 
Lord, send me, send me to my fellow^men. 

26th. Preachi^d almost every day, and although I 
passed through many distressing hours, yet when I came 
to speak in God's name, then I found liberty, or methinks I 
shcAiId sink. 

27th. Met with the chtirch, and a blessed day it was. 
Some souls were added to the church. O the joyful news 
r)f salvation proelaimed by young christians. To hear them 
tell what the Lord had done for their souls was enough to 
melt the -most hardened heart. They sung hosannahs to 
the son of David, and declared the wonders of his love, 

28th> I ADMINISTERED the Lord*s supper to the new- 
embodied chr.rch ; and it was a day of God's grace. In the 
evening there were greater manifestations of God's power, 
souls crying out, what must we do to be saved. 

29th. I HAD some heavy trials, chains and storms of 
grief this day. O Lord God, support me under the iri,and 
bring me near to Christ. I went to preach at a house of 
one who had been an enemy to the cause. When I came 
he met me at the door, and desired me to preach from a 
particular text he would give me. I told him 1 would not 
preach to satisfy curiosity, because I must labour for the 
good of society ; but would as willingly preach from one text 
as from another, if the Lord gave it to me. He said, he 
desired no more, and then mentioned the text, which seem* 
ed immediately to be given to me, and took hold of my 
mind. I told him I would preach from it for it was a bless- 
ed text. ] then went in and preached, and it was the most 
powerful meeting I ever saw in that country. Yea 1 think 
the very devils became subject. O may the Lord's i\iMiie 




* ','i 


»■' ■ f 

have all the pruise fur the blessings given to souls tliat 

30th. I AM surpiiscd that I am no more engaged than 
1 am, when 1 consider the station I am in, and the Impor- 
tant scenes I am surrounded ■with. 

31st. Many dangers and triak I have been carried 
through this month, but great has been the kindness oi the 
Lord towards me. O he is a faithful ntaster, althougli 1 
am an unfaithful servant. O that I had made greater ad- 
vances in the Redeemer's cause. O methinks 1 am still a 
dry and barren shrub in the vineyard of God. The month 
is past, and how little have I done to the good of m^ own 
soul, and to those of others. 

February 1st. O that I may spend, what of this month 
is allotted me, to the glory of God, and the good of souls. 
Some happy hours I enjoyed this day, especially in the 
fvening. I preached as 1 was returning from Annapolis 
to Cornwallis. O the sweetness I fmd in jiroclaiming my 
.blaster's name, that the world knows nothing of. 

2d. I HAD some sense this morning of redeeming love. 
But O the pride and unfaithl Iness of my lieart leads me 
astray. O how soon do I lose the visits from Heaven, and 
receive such vain lovers in my heart. I had some happy 
hours in riding 30 miles this day ; and although I was so 
fatigued by riding in a heavy rain, that 1 could scaitely walk. 
when I got from my horse ; yet when 1 began to preach, 1 
had such a sense of the Redeemer's cause, that I almost 
forgot my bodily infirmities. O the unspe^able goodness 
of God to such a worm 1 

3d. I wKNT this day from Cortiwallis to Horton and 
had some happy hours, but also some trials. I preached a 
sermon in the evcniug, and the presence of God was among 
his children. 

4th. I HAD uncommon darkness and trials of mind in 
the morning ; so great that I did not kuow what I could say 
in the cause of Christ, expecting to meet part of two 
churches at the Lord's table, as I did. Rut the Lord Mas 
kind. I cannot tell tiic time that I had such liberty in the 
gospel ; and a blessed day it was to many. Some sinne » 
were alarmed. 

5th. This day I saw enough to melt my heart and a- 
Avake my soul to love and praise God, if I was not more in- 
&ei\sible tlian the beasts •: for I went to see a man, that had 



uls tliat 

:ed than 

5 of the 
ougli I 
ater ad- 
a still a 
n_, own 

> month 
r souls, 
in the 
ng my 

ig love, 
ids me 
n, and 
was so 
y walk. 
exich, 1 

n and 
ched a 

ind in 

lid sav 

)f two 

d was 
in the 
inne s 

nd a- 
ire in- 
it had 

been one of my intimate companions in sin and vanity be- 
fore I was converted ; who was now on the confines of e- 
ternity, and appeared as far from redemption as ever, just 
bidding farewell to this world ; I fear without a change of 
heart, or knowledge of salvation. O that he might be 
plucked from the jaws of hell before he is gone and no more 
seen. And O that I might have my whole heart and soul 
awake to love God for his goodness to me a wretch. 

6th O THE unhappiness of this day by reason of dark- 
ness until the evenhig ; when preaching the gospel, the 
Lord gave me great liberty from my chains, and sent a 
blessing by me to many of his children. Lord, keep me 
humble and take the praise to thyself. 

7th. MfcTHiNKs I can say that the greatest trials, and 
the greatest grief I pass- through, is because I am so far 
from God, so little redeemed from sin and self, and know 
so litt!^: of the Redeemer, alid am so little inilamed with 
love to his worthy name. O that God would take posses- 
sion of ray heart -and soul, and transform me into his like- 

8th. I HAD some happy moments in the forepart of this 
day. O the sweetness of that peace beyond what tongue can 
tell. But O it is a thorny way. How soon do trials arise. 
Some distressing scenes opened to my view, and made my 
heart tremble, but the Lord was kind to me. I preached in 
the evening and had great assistance. I trust I was made 
instrumental in feeding God*s children. 

9th. This morning I was under great darkness. O 
what a load it is. How can I bear the abscence of my Lord 
and master. It seemed as if I could not rest without my 
Lord's return. Return, retura, O my God, blessed be his 
name, he doco not leave me long. Some happy glimpses 
of-divine love. O that God would continue his goodness to 
a wretch. I went this evening to see an aged woman near 
the grave, and had no Saviour. O what a shocking sight 
it is to see an immortal soul in that miserable condition. 
Lord God have mercy on her. 

10th. O THE unhappiness of living at a distance from 
God. I think my soul groans to be delivered from dark- 
ness and death. This day seemed to be a day of darkness 
until the evening, when I found some relief. O the worth 
and sweetness of one hour, yea one minute in the presence 
•£ God. 


w ■ ■ 



' 1 






llth. I I'RK ACHED this day in Falmouth, and it was ft 
day on which God fed his children with redeeminpj love ; 
and my own soul found great liberty ; so that I could speak 
boldly for God : and 1 trust the day was not in vain to 

12th. Wknt to Hortoi' with some christians who were 
very lively rejoicir.pj and shouting as they rode, and speak* 
ing of the wonders of God*^s love. I trust the Lord was 
with us, us with the two disciples that travelled to Emmaus, 
and caused the hearts of some of us to burn. 

13th. O THE scene I had this day of the necessity of 
a friend in a dying hour, and the greatness of that change 
in some small degree. But O it i^ unknown (but by seme 
ghmpses) to all the inhabitants of this mortal world. No 
one but those beyond the grave can tell it. In the evening 
I preached, then rode about 6 miles, and found some sense 
of a present God after I had retired to my bed. 

I4th. Riding from place to place I was blessed with 
a sense of God's love to the world. My soul enjoyed hap- 
py hours with God. O the sweetness of divine truths. 
In the evening 1 preach to a great number, chiefly of youths, 
and God was there*. O what longing desires I had (or 
their everlasting salvation. 

15th» O HOW unhappy it is to live at a distance from 
God. Could I bear to vcar away one year, as I have this 
forenoon. O how do the unbelieving world live forty or 
fifty years having no hope and without God in the world. 

16th. I HAD great liberty in my soul this morning, 
and seemed to find my heart awake : after which I rode 
out, and met with great opposition. I was called a liar, 
compared to a Papist and received many reproaches. 
But O what return shall I make to God, that I find his 
grace keeps my corrupt nature down, and as soon as I left 
them, could find in my heart to forgive. O the praise 
belongs to God, and to him only. 

17th. I FOUND some nearness to the fountain of living 
waters. But O how little is my heart awake, and my soul 
engaged for God. I am surprised, that I am no more ia 
love with the blessed Redeemer. O God, redeem me from 

18th. I WAS in some degree enabled this morning to 
stay myself upon God. I preached two sermons, and the 
Lord fed many of his children* As for my own part I did 

it was ft 
P: love ; 
Id speak. 

vain to 

ho were 
d speak-^ 
ord was 

essity of 

)y seme 
d. No 


le sense 

ed with 
ed hap- 
had ibr 

ce from 
ive this 
brty or 
orld. ' 
I rode 
a liar, * 
nd his 
s I left 
prai sc 

f livinj^ 
\y soul 
lore ill 
e from 

ling to 
nd the 
t I did 



not find that freedom which sometimes I have had. I likc- 
. wise spoke in the evening and found some liberty and more 
love. But O for humility, humility. 

19th. I AWAKED this morning with some sense of di- 
vine things, and after I got upfounda great nearness to God 
in prayer, and my soul fed on immortal bread. But O too 
soon it is gone. I find my soul needs daily bread as much 
as my body : neither can a christian live without it. 

20th. Some distance from Ciod in the morning. O 
the darkness and distress I pass through, when I do not en- 
joy my God. In the evening I got some liberty in preaching , 
O it is sweet speaking for God, when he stands by and as- 
sists us : which, blessed be God, I have found by experience. 

2 1st. O HOW unhappy are those, who spend their days, 
having no hope and without God in the would. I have 
been this day some hours without his sensible presence. O 
what an unhappy mortal have I been. All my friends and 
earthly enjoyments fuil to make me happy, when I mourn 
the absence of my God. 

22d. Although I enjoyed something of God this day, 
especially in the evening when I preached : yet I am so fur 
from such a realizing sense of things, as I think 1 ought to 
have, and my soul aspires after ; that methinks I know no- 
thing, and am ready sometimes to say, that I am one of 
the most blind mortals on earth, and almost as insensible 
as the beasts. 

23d. Though I live so far from God, and have so lit- 
tle of divine truths ; yet methinks I can say, T neither 
hear, see nor know of any thing in the whole system of 
creation, that my soul so pants after as the livhig imd true 
God.r When, O when shall I be brought near him and 
feast on his love. My soul longs for thee, for thee, O my 
God ; return O mv friend. 

24th. For want of the presence of God, I have passed 
away the greatest part of thi^ day in grief O for some 
glimpse of my Saviour' 5= love l I long, I long to see his 
face, and to find my mind bound up in a lively sense of his 

25th. I PREACHED this day to a great society. My 
soul had great liberty in the forenoon ; in the afternoon a 
great sense of the death and darkness that still remains on 
the soul : but in the evening, when exhorting, found Ui?: 
Lord nigh, ami could rejoice. 




26th. Although I cannot say, but I have enjoyed 
something of my Redeemer's love this day ; yet methinks 
it is so little in comparison of what my soul longs for, that 
I just begin to see my emptiness^ and long to taste more'. 
Give me, give me, O my God, larger draughts of redeem- 
ing grace. 

27th. I HAD some communion with God this morn- 
ing. But O how soon it is gone, and my soul was left to 
mourn until the evening, when an aged christian came to 
see me, who telling the dealings of God with his soul, got 
my mind awake and my heart enfiamed ; at the same time 
I found my mind bore away into another region. O the 
sweetness of conversing with the saints of God about our 
Father's Kingdom. After this I preached, and found the 
Lord was there cf a truth. IVly soul and the souls of ma- 
ny others were awake with love arid joy divine. 

28th. This day 1 went from Cornwallis to Horton r- 
and O how was I grieved to see a vast croud of people at 
horse-racing. O that they knew the worth of those pre- 
cious hours they are wasting, and the danger their poor 
souls are in, they would not risk their souls on such a pin- 
nacle of danger. O are these my fellow men acting for, 
and hastening to a boundless ecernity, and so unconcerned I 
F'ty their souls, O my blessed Jesus, and awake them. Af- 
terward I left all my companions, and all other company ; 
and as I was riding through the woods, my soul enjoyed 
that, which the world cannot give nor take away. The 
Lord of his infinite mercy appeared, walked with me, and 
fed me with immortal bread. 

Ten thousand thanks I owe, but nought to pay* 

To that kind hand, that guards my dang'rous way. •v.. 

Thro the past month He made my life his care, 
' And kept my soul from ev'ry fatal nare. 

Although to him I so unfaithful prove, * 

He deals with me in kindness and in love. 

Ten thousand blessings he has freely given ; 

Sweet hours of peace, and a foretaste of Hea'n. 

Has bless'd my labours in the gospel field, 

And from his word some sacred truths reveal'd; 

O could I now with all my fioul awake, 
' And all my idols, sloth and sins forsake ; 

And spend the few remainder of my days 
- > To his great name as monuments of praise. 

^ May sacred love my heart and soul inflame,. ' 

To cry, all worthy, worthy, is the Lamh. 



for, that 
tc more', 
redeem - 

is morn- 
its left to 
came to 
soul, got 
ime time 
O the 
bout our 
bund the 
is of ma- 

Horton r- 
eople at 
lose prc- 
leir poor 
ch a pin- 
;ting for, 
icerned ! 

em. Af- 

mpany ; 


me, and 


March lit. Come, blessed Jesus, now my heart enf^age, ' 

To spread thy name while on tliis mortal stage. 
Lei me begin this precious month anev. 
Bid all, but my Redeemer's cause, adieu. 
Where'er, O God, my mortal feet sliall treid; 
O fix my eyes on Christ, my blessed head. 
Make mc successful in my Saviour's name. 
With humble mind thy gospel to proclaim. 

I was under vaiious impressions this day. I had 
some dark and some happy hours. In the evening I found. 
the sweetness of redeeming love. Lettjie name of Jesus 
get the praise for it. 

2d. I WENT this day to visit some who had been g^cat 
opposers to the cause of Christ, but seemed now to have a 
hearing ear. O that they might escape from eternal death, 
that their souls might be saved, in the day of Christ's ap- 
pearing. In the evening. I preached, and the Redeemer 
himself was there, tccding his children with redeeming love. 
3d. AxT HOUGH I pass through many trying hours, 
yet I trust they will all turn. for my good. But O how Httle 
am I submissive to the ways and will of God. I cannot find 
my soul so bound to the will of God, as to feel myself melt- 
ed at his teet. O that (iod would humble nie, and devote 
my soul to his praise, Mclhinks his^ ways are so sweet I 
long to be wholly for God. This evening I spcke by ex- 
hortation in a company and the Lord blessed my labours. 
It was a blessing to many in the room as well as to myself. 

4th. I preached in the forenoon under a sweet sense 
of being a mouth for God, and tlie power of God was like 
a mighty rushing wind. In the afternoon sermon a blessing 
attended, but not with such power as^in the forenoon. In the 
• evening I rode about 4 miles,andprcaclied again. The Lord 
blessed my labours by feeding some of his children and by 
awakening some si" ners. O that I might live and die in 
the cause of God. A ble&sed cause it has been to my soul. 

5th. I had this morning some sense of God*s love,, 
and felt my soul willing to be wholly for God, and devoted 
to his praise. After this I felt darkness prevail. I went 
to Falmouth, spent .the evening with some of my christian 
friends, and God was amongst us. But O how little do I 
love, how little do I praise that blessed hand, from whom 
I receive such inexpressible blessings. 

6th. The thoughts of living one year, as I have done 
this morning) without the presence of God, would break. 




my heart. But O he is kind, and doth not leave me long- 
without some taste of his love ; but 1 hve too far, too fur 
from my God. When shall I be brought nearer. Ilum- 
Wle me O my God. and let mc live to thee and for thee a- 
lonc. God's presence bej^ins my joy and makes my Hea- 
ver, but bus al)bei»ce bej^ins my sorrow, and leaves me to 
mourn. Bless mc, O my God. 

7{]u O HOW little is my heart affected under such a- 
larmuij^ truths witli such important scenes as I am encir- 
cled with. O that I was alive by faith, that I mij^ht not 
spend my days so far trom the only thinc^, for whicii I am 
continued in this world. O what will soften my heart, or 
what will melt my soul to love. 

8th. O THK heavy hours this day. I was mourning for 
God's absence, and wanderinj^ in the dark imtil the evcninj^, 
when preachins; my soul ^ot reliel. But O too soon, I am 
afraid I shall j;et away from God again and lose my joy. 
Lord keep me, keep me 

9th. Lord awake my soul and impress on my he.'ift 
thy blessed truths, that I may not only hear, but feel that 
blessed name of Jesus and live to his praise. 

loth. O WHO. would think that So soon after receiving 

a manifestatiwi of God's* l6ve I should find m)'Belf in cap- 

til ity ? 

How many scenes of changes day and night, 
My soul goes thro' of clouds and glimpse of light .'„' 
One hour my soul enjoys redeeming love, . 
The next 1 in a barren desert rove. 

1 1th. This day preached two sermons and found the 
Lord to be pres^nnt both to me and others. A great dis- 
covery was given to many of us of coming out of self and 
before God. But it is the work of the Redeemer, and ma- 
ny souls felt it this day, and reJ9iced in redeeming love and 
the wonders thereof. 

12th. Some sweet rays- of divine love broke out into 
my soul this day, and caused me to long for more. Why 
should I starve in aland of plenty, or go mourning when 
the the gospel is all around me ? Lord awaken me. 

13th. O WHAT changes of life while wading through 
this wilderness. Sometimes up then down. One hour in 
the light and then dark. I enjoyed some blessed moments 
this morning, when my soul rejoiced. In the evening tria.(s 
and a great sense of darkness. 



e lon^ 
too fut 
thce a- 
y Hea- 
me to 

such a- 


jht not 

1 I am 

lart, or 

ling for 
n, I am 
ly joy. 

y heiirt 
el that 

in cap- 


nd the 
eat (lis- 
elf and 
nd ma- 
3ve and 

mt into 
; when 

lour in 
g trials 

14th. As 1 was riding to Nc^>port I found sonric hap- 
py hours. But C) I do not enjoy >vhat I might if my heart 
was right with (iod. Yet I think I long for a nearness to 
God. O the happiness of living near to him, who is the 
blessed (iod of peace and happiness. 

15lh. 1 HAD this day a great sense of I'l;^ emptincs.^ 
and vanity of all tilings ' 'jre below. If I had millions and 
millions of worlds, they would not make mc happy. Christ 
is all in all, in him 1 Hnd a solid peace. U Jesus, be my 

16th. This day I preached in a dark part of Newport, 
but God was there ; and thwe appeared great attention to 
the word. Some soubi wtTe awakened, and my own so»il 
felt the life of religioi\. Blessed be the Lord for standing 
by such a worm. 

17th. I VISITED n man on a death-bed ; found him 
under a great sense of the necessity of being regenerated^ 
with a desire for redemption. Travelling from the house 
with a young man, I made a stop in the woods, as I fre- 
quently used to do. God gave me a great nearness to him- 
self : but the young man in a particular manner was car- 
ried away under such a sense of the love of God and hi^ 
own nothingness, that he could not forbear crying out. A 
good day it was to us both. 

18th. PaKAcfHED two sermons, found uncommon lib- 
erty in my soul, and many felt the the word. O that I 
might ever be kept humble at the feet of Jesus, then 
would my soul rejoice. 

19th. I WENT to P'almouth, preached in the evening, 
and found the Lord nigh. But O the trials of mind which 
I had soon after, which arose from a sense of my distance 
from Cod. Light discovers dfirkness. Liberty makes mc 
often feel fetters, and groan under them ; but not so much 
at the same instant as soon after it ; then I discover disor- 
der and death. 

20th. I SET out for Halifax, and still retained a great 
sense of the distance that I and aU mankind lived from the 
only thing for which we have our being. In the evening» 
being in a private room at a tavern, I found my heart ta 
melt. O the blessed hours that I sometimes thus enjoy 
when the Lord is nigh me, which the v'orld knows nothing of. 

21st. This was an unhappy day to me ; for although 
I had success in getting a book from the presS) yet not spe- 



I ■ i 


ing an opportunity to preach the gospel, as I longed to do ; 
and having no religious society (tliough I found two or three 
christians there) almost, made ready to sink, O that I 
could always live with Oodin the world. 

2^2cl. 1 REMAiNKD in the town till the evening. O 
what a land of darkness it is. Who could believe by the 
conduct of the croud, when passing through the place, that 
tliey were bound for an eternity, each one having an im- 
mortal soul of more value thlan millions of worlds. O how 
it grieved my soul, when there appeared no desire nor 
room for the gospel. 

23d. 1 RODE to Falmouth, and had some happy mo- 
ments : but my soul did not find that lig)it and liberty 
which I have often enjoyed, and I felt, at the same time, 
impatient to spread the Redeemer's name. 

2'4th. O HOW I long for that the world cannot give. 

for the love of Jesus to draw my soul after him, and en- 
gage me to praise him. Give me, O blessed Lamb of God, 
the enjoyment of thyself, and let me be thine forever; then 
shall my soul rejoice in thee, the God of my salvation, 

25th. Blessed be God for the manifestations of his 
k)ve to my soul this day, and for the great freedom he gave 
me in proclaiming the Redeemer's name, and for bles- 
sings given to poor sinners. Some came out and rejoiced 
in the Redeemer's kingdom, and his love to them. And 
what was most rejoicing, was to see a poor negro-man get 
up and tell what God has done for his soul. Blessed be 
God, that he chooses the weak things of the world, and 
things despised of men. I have often seen in the com- 
pass of my travels, poor servants and slaves shouting forth 
tiie Redeemer's praise ; while their masters stood in open 
rebellion, and rejected the simplicity of the gospel. 

26th. Cast down but not in despair. For though I 
find such darkness and trials at times, yet I find more hap- 
piness than all the world can give me. But O how little 
do I love, how little do I praise God, and how far do I live 
from God I. O thou ever blessed God, take me near unto 

27th^ Cf the remains of sin and dapkness ! How shall 

1 be delivered from these chains. My soul thirsts for lib- 
erty, like the Hebrew slaves for the year of Jubileee. When, 

when shall 1 obtain the victory over self ? This evenincj 

1 i)reached, and found some joy in the cause of Christ, 

to do ; 

>r three 

that I 

ig. O 

by the 

ce, that 

an im- 

O how 

ire nor 

py Tno- 


2 time, 

t give. 

and en- 


r ; then 


of his 

le gave 

\r bles- 



.\n get 

5sed be 

, and 



m open 

)ugh I 
e hap- 
1 live 

w shall 
or lib- 





28th. I HAD some longing desire after the blessed 

'God this day, but not that nearness to the Saviour as my 

heart pants after. O unhappy state ; when I cannot enjoy 

my God. Help me, O my Jesus. O the trials of my soiii 

when I was ridiu'^ about 1 1 o'clock at night. 

29i:h. This morning I had some relief from the trials 
of the last evening. 1 had some happy moments when 
discoursing with some christian friends, and preached in 
the evening to a large society. 

30th. The more I sec, the more 1 am convinced that 
I am blind. I this day saw my blindness more tiian ever. 
O that I was more awake, and moi-e acquainled with God 
and myself. O what an insensible state is the world in ! 
How little do tiiey know lliemselves, and O where are they 
bound to '. 

31st. THot'Gii the work of God has ceased here in 
some degree, yet blessed be God, there are yet some under 
conviction, and some seekers. O that they may not seek 
in vain. And O that God M'ould enlarge my heart to love 
liim, and give praise to his name, and be for him for ever. 
How kind, O dear Jesus, is thy care to worthless me, » 
Avorm, and how nuich do I sliare of thy free grace ! 

April 1st. O might I now the ensuing month begin , 

To serve my God, unci flee from ev'ry sin, ,,• 

O that the Lord would my whole soul inflame, 

To tell mv tellovv-men his blessed frame. 

Lord give me meekness and a humble heart, 

That 1 may never from thy ways depart. " ' 

Be thou my leader, portion, and my friend, 

Till days and weeks and months with me shall end. 

Then call my spirit to tlie peaceful shore, 

Where I shall sin nor sorrow any more. 

This day I preai lied in ^Vindsor, where I never | 
j)reached before. There appeared something of an heariiii'; 
ear ; but at the same time the devil was raging, and the 
great men of the place tery much opposing. I trust God 
intends to begin a work of grace in that town. 

2d. This morning Twas invited to see a num who 
iiad been an opposer, but seemed to begin to hear. O that 
their hearls might bow, that 1 might yet wash their feet iu 
the gospel. Rut 1 had this day some heavy trials in my 
mind. Lord remove my darkness. O that my soid might 
enjoy more liberty in the gospel, and receive sweet visith 
from tlie love of Jesus t ^ , ... 







r 'I 


3d. This day I went to Horton. I preached in the 
-evening, when the blessed Jesus gave me his presence, and 
some success in the minds of the hearers. O what a de- 
sire I felt for the salvation of some of the youths, when I 
was speaking to them in the name of Jesus. 

4th. This day I preached in Horton. There seemed 
to be great movings, especially amongst the young people. 
O that their precious and immortal souls might be saved in 
Ihe day of Christ's appearing. 

5th. SoMi; happy moments I had in riding to Com* 
\ allis ; but O iiot half so much as I might have if my heart 
\Vi .s more redeemed. O this unbelief i remove it, remove 
it, O blessed God, and give me liberty. 

6th. This day to my pen, und I thought, with a de- 
sire that all might be a blessing to souls, when I am done 
with in this world, if not before. I think I wish to be spent 
in the service of God and the welfare t>f souls. 

f th. I FOUND some nearness to God, and my soul 
could rejoice. But O how soon do some earthly toy« 
steal me away. How soon do I lose the sweetness of di- 
vine things and l^ecome barren. O what a miracle I am to 
myself ; one hour rejoicing on the mount, the next I am 
down in the valley wandering in the wilderness, and grovel- 
ling in the dark. 

8tli. I PREACHED this day, and found the Lord at 
hand. My own soul, and the souls of others were much 
indulged with the love of God. O what returns of love 
•shall I repay for what I have seen and felt of Christ this 

9th. O THAT I had more victory over pride and un- 
belief, that my soul niight live nearer to the blessed Jesus, 
and desert him no more. 

Take me, O blessed jesus, in thy arms, 

And fill Hiy soul with thy transporting chifl-ms. 

10th. When Jesus is nigh my soul rejoiceth, but 
when absent I mourn. Happy are they that eat bread with 
him daily, that do not live in a legal form, nor on past ex- 
perience, l)ut gather manna every morning. This day 
when preacliing ray soal tasted of that, w hich th.e world 
cannot give. 

Uth. Employed sometime in writing this day : and 
blessed hours, I have often, being thus employed, enjoyed ; 
when I could feel what I wrote, and feast my soul on the 
glorious plan of life* • . 

i in the 

net, and 

at a de- 

when I 

; people, 
saved in 

to Com* 
nv heart 
, remove 

ith a de- 
am done 
be spent 

my soul 
thly toy« 
ss of di- 
ll I am to 
xt I am 
d grovel- 
Lord at 
re much 
of love 
hrist this 

t and un- 
ed Jesus, 

:eth, but 
read with 
1 past ex- 
This day 
e world 

lay : and 
enjoyed ; 
ul on the 



12th. O I have reason to say witli Rebecca, 1 arr 
weary of my life, because of the daughters of Ileth. O the 
remains of death and barrenness. How it wearies my soul) 
and makes me mourn as in a wilderness Now and then I 
hav .: a glimpse of light, love and liberty ; but O too soon I 
slit e back to chains, formality, darkness, death and insensi- 

ISth. I CANNOT live without something of Jesus. 
What is all my past experience, unless i; be revived in my 
heart ? O let me never live a day withe at convene with 
Heaven, and a taste of divine tilings. 

14th. This day one of the churches met. I was there, 
and some members joined the church. And, O blessed 
day it was, for Jesus himself was there by the assistance of 
his Holy Spirit, and therefore his children must rejoice, and 
darkness must flee. 

I5th. This was a day that God passed by, and gave 
his followers a visit of his love. Scarcely one at the house, 
"where we met for worship, but was much indulged with his 
presence ; especially those that came to the table. O how 
kind the Lord is to make use of those representations in 
the elements to stir up the hearts of his children, and give 
them the living bread. O happy, happy souln with such a 

16th. Who would have thought, that in so short a 
time as from yesterday, I could have got my mind bO im- 
prisoned, after having had so much liberty. But God re- 
members my frame. In the evening my soul could again 
rf^joice *n the God of my salvation. 

1 7th. I RODE this day some distance, and preached 
in the evening ; passed through various scenes in my 
mind, yea, sometimes through various changes and frames 
in one hour. O tlie restless nature of an imprisoned 

18th. O WHEN shall I enjoy what my soul longs for, 
when shall I : _ the tim^ that i may, like Enoch, be able 
to walk all my time with God. I had some happy hours 
this evening ; but O for more. • 

19th. Hiding to Falmouth, I felt a great sense of the 
darkness of man's mind, crying out, why? v) why is not my 
mind conversing with God all the way, and filled with hit 
love ? 




20t}i. O THIS unfeeling heart of mine ; "vvhy does it 
not melt ; what keeps me from continually rejoicinj^ in 
Jesus ; 

Lord, take my idols all away, 
And turn ray darkness into day. 
On my poor spirit dartly shine, 
And let me live on bread divine'. 

21st. Little dees the world know either the trials or 
the happiness of the christian. What scenes are they 
carried through, unknown by the unconverted I. It is a way 
the vultvire'b eye hath not seen, nor lion's whelp ever 
trod ; but O it is a blessed wtiy ; for in the most trying 
hours tlic christians would not change stations with the 
king on the throne with all his earthly grandeur and en- 
joyments ; and although at times they may have troubles 
ever so trying, yet they are safe ; for God Mill soOn brin^- 
all sorrows to a period. 

22d. This was a day of rejoicing, when I was preach- 
ing. Many christians were released from long trials, and 
shouted forth their Redeemer's praise. O that the world 
knew by happy experience what t ley enjoyed, ; 

23d. This day I waslabowing with some young peo- 
ple, and God blessed my labours. O how my heart re- 
joiced to see the prime of life devoted to God ; and although 
much despised by the ungodly, yet what can be more hap- 
py, more safe, or more honorable, than for young men and 
women to follow the Lamb, and espouse his blessed cause. 
And they shall one day shine with angels and archangels 
at the right hand of the Redeemer. 

24th; I HAD some unhappy hours this forenoon by 
reason of darkness, but happy hours in the evening, when 
proclaiming the Redeemer's name to my fellow-men. O 
the unspeakable worth of one hour in his presence. 

25th. Pride and unbelief are my cruel enemies. 
They wound my soul, dishonor God, render me useless, 
and lead me into a wildeniess. < , * . 

26th. I PREACHKD this day in tlie evening, my soul 
found the blessed Lord to be nigh. My tongue had liberty, 
and my soul was so affected, that I longed to spread the 
gospel from pole to pole. Many of the christians were 
very happy. May Jesus have the praise. 

27th. O IT is by the smiles of the King of Heaven that 
my soul thus rejoices. O it is the Redeemer's love mr 
heart fuels. .1 

!! . 

oes it 
[u\^ in 

iiils or 
i they 
i a way 
p ever 
ith the 
iiid en- 
1 bring 

ils, and 
e world 

ng peo- 
eart re- 
e hap- 
len and 
fi an gels 

lOon by 

', when 

len. O 



Uy soul 
I liberty, 
;ad the 
lis were 

ren tViat 
love n>y 

Lll't AT«D JOUnNAL. 


ORth. O Jesus, docs not my soul loni^; for the enjoy- 
tnent of thy blessed self, and pant for thy love, as the liart 
panteth after the water brooks ? O humble me and take, 
rae in the arms of thy love, and let me walk with thee all 
my days. 

29th. This day I preached in Windsor, where the « 
gospel has been long shut out, and where unconverted min- 
isters traded. The Lord blessed his word l)y me, and th>-jre 
appeared an attention with hunger here and there. One 
began to niake somt inquiry about that, whicli is so mucii 
undervalued by the geneiality of mankind. O that Ciod 
vrould carry on a work here. 

30th. A^TKOUGii many of the great men oppose the 
gospel, and my preaching here ; yet there appeared more 
and more doors open for me to preach. I spent some time 
this day with some inquiring minds, and found by the grace 
of God, a great freedom to proclaim the name of Jesus, and 
the power of religion arainst whatever opposition there 
might be. • 

May 1st. This day I preached again at Windsor j 
and the Lord was pleased to bless my labours to some souls : 
and although the evening raged to that degree that I wa*j 
threatened by some of the leading men of the government ^ 
to be silenced, and put on board a man of war ; yet the 
Lord was kind to me, and gave me boldness in his name ; 
and more doors were opened to receive the gospel. 

2d. I RETURNED to Falmouth, and found much of the 
presence of God. I preached a lecture there. O the great 
kindness of my blessed Master to me, his unworthy and 
unfaithful servant. The saints of God were fed by God's 
blessings on my labours. O may Jesus get all the praise. 

3d. I HAD this day some darkness and trials of mind, 
and some peaceful moments. And blesaed l)c God I am 
say, I tind no rest in any thing but in God, and I hope I ne- 
ver shall. Lord Jesus, keep my soul awake. 

4th; LwKNT to Horton, and enjoyed some happy mo- 
ments on the road. I think I could say before God, as far 
as I know my heart, I long for purity of heart, and holiness 
of Hfe. O that God would search me, and cleanse me from 
every evil. 

nth.'O HOW can I live so far from God ? How can F 
endure such an unfeeling heart ? It is a burden to my souF 
beyond any thing that I suffer. No wonder the apostl*. 






cried out, O ^vretched man that I am, who shall deliver mfr 
frqm this body of sin and death ? 

6th. I puE ACHED this day at the court-house in Hor- 
ton ; and God came as in his spii'it with power to his chil- 
dren : nunvbers of them were rejoicing. In the evening I 
preached again. TJic house was crouded where I preached, 

7th. In the evening I had some happy moments : but 

they were too soon gone by my unbelieving heart, and 
theii I went mourning till the evening, when my heart and 
tongue were at liberty in preaching. Bles«<.d be tlie God of 
Jacob for this night. 

8lh. I RODE to Cornwallis, but cUi! not find my heart 
breathing afterGod,as I have soinetimes done nding,though 

1 had some happy moments wiiJi u seafaring man, tliat I 
overtook and travelled with, whom I found to be a ( hris-. 
tian, and who told me his experience ar d the travels^of his 
soul, which were very remarkable. When i.nder convic- 
tion, he was brought so near to despair, and to give up all 
hopes of ever being saved, that he hud often put his hand 
in the fire to try how he could bear the torments of hell,, 
and yet after all was brought out a bright christian, and 
now shouts for the wonders of God's love and grace to th« 
fallen race. 

9th,. I ENJOYED some happy hours this day witJi my 
pen ; when I found in my soul a desire that my writings 
might after my decease be useful ; far although I preach- 
ed without any notes, neither did I write many sermons, 
yet I wrote much on almost every- essential truth of the 

loth. 7 PREACHED this day, and found great liberty. 
God revived his children greatly, so that some of them 
were almost overcome. O how do such things appear to 
the world, that i^ blind in sin, and knows nothing of what 
the christians enjoy in their souls of God. 

1 Uh, O THAT I could live with my mind shut out from 
the world, and all its flatteries ; as the Lord has command- 
ed to enter the closet and shut the door : the happiness of 
which I have known by experience even in such company. 

12th. I HAD some trials of mind, and some sense of 
divine things. O that I could be more sensible of that 
invisible hand that is still engaged for my welfare. I had 
some happy hours with some cliristian brethreo that iii tha 
•yening came to see me. * 



ivev mc 

in Hor- 
his chil- 
/ening I 
its: but 
;art, and 
eart and 
e God of 

ny heart 
g, though 
1, that I 
■t a ( hris-. 
elsdoi' his 
;r con vie - 
ive up all 

liis hand 
s of hell,. 
,tian, and 

,ce to th« 

witji TdJ 


1 preach- 


:h of the 

It liberty, 
of them 
I appear to 
ig of what 

|t out from 
Ippiness of 
I company. 
|e sense of 
of that 
-e. I had 

[that ia tha 

1 3th. I CAxMF. to the table of the Lord with the church 
at Cornwallis, and enjoyed much of divine truths : but I 
think I enjoy more under the sermons than at the breaking 
of the elements. I veiily believe that many christians set 
too much by the elements or the command, as though they 
expected a blessing of reward hereafter, for following or 
obeying the command- of Christ, or external observations ; 
for it is a truth that it does them no more good, than it proves 
a means of stirring up and awakening the heart : and that 
is all it is given to us for : and so are all the means of 

14th. I HAD some trials of a hard heart, but some lib- 
erty in the evening. There was a yonng man that came 
from ^Vindsor to see me, and hear the gospel, being under 
great convictions. My soul can rejoice at limes at the pro- 
motion of the Redeemer's cause j but O that I had greater 
longings for it. 

l5th. I HAD some happy moments this day. O ho^v 

• little do I know or enjoy, considering what God has done, 

and is doing for me. 1 am am amazed at myself. What 

privileges I am indulged with, and how little I am 

transformed to tiie holiness of Gcd. 

16th. C) THE distance that I find myself from God 
this day until the evening, wi^en I was preaching, my soul 
■was hroi>ght nigh to God. But I count it a blessing to see 
my blindness and feel my death. It is light that discovei's 
darkness, and life feels death. 

17th. This day I left Cornwallis to go to Annapolfs 
with two men that came for me. O that Jesus would go 
.with me, and make this a prosperous journey. • 
O that my Jesus v/oaid employ 
My heart and soul, w ith sacred joy. 

To sound the wonders of ids grace. ^ 

' . O that I might a blessing- prove, 

To spread the sweetness of his love, 
, Amongst the worst of Adam's race; 

I RODE about 10 miles, and preached a lecture, and 
then rode several miles more the same day, and enjoyed 
some sweet moments on the road. \ 

18th. This day I rode about 20 miles. 
my heart was at liberty, and then in prison. O the changes 
of the christian's frames. One hour they are ready to say, 
th^ir mountain stands strong, and they can rejoice ainU 


rt!< i 







\ 1 

' t 


; ^1 




, i 


I ^ 

! ]'-; 






think they are the happiest creatures in the world : the 
next hour, if they do not continue their state, they feel 
darkness, death and blindness, and think there are none so 

19th. O THAT the world knew the happiness of the 
followers of the Lamb, and the sweetness I have found 
in his love, since I knew his ways*. For although 1 pas*, 
through many trials, unknown to the world, yet they prove 
for my good, and I enjoy more in one hour tlian all the 
world can give me. 

fOth. Many thronged to hear the word this day. My- 
self and others had great liberty. O the sweetness of the 
gospel, when the soul can feed on it. In the evening 
God smiled on some of his children, so that they could, 
hardly speak in exhortation or in prayer, being so much, 
overcome with joy and love. 

21st. I RODE about 10 milc", and preached a sermon. 
The power of God was so great, that every christian there 

2 2d. O HOW happy do I find this body of sin and 
death ; how it giicves and wounds my heart. O that eve- 
ry fetter were broken, and every mountain removed. 

23d. This day I visited some that were just in the 
grave, and to all appearance strangers to Christ. O what 
a shocking thought it is for a man to live 1% the world 
threescore years and ten, and die out of Christ, and go to 
hell. In the evening I preached, and it was clearly evi- 
dent that God was there, by the influences of his Holy 

24th. I PREACHED this day of'Christ's sufferings- and 
works among the fallen race. I tiiink God was pleased to 
discover to me and others some important truths of the ev- 
erlasting gospel. O the worth of God'6 word, when open- 
ed and applied by his Holy Spirit. 

25th. I FOUGHT almost the whole of this day with the 
\ the old man, and obtained no victory, but remained still in 
captivity till the evening;, and thought I could for a short 
time triumph over my inward foes. 

26th. Sometimes 1 think I know some little of God, 
it seems almost needless to publish his name, or attempt to 
do it : yea, the more I see, thv more I perceive my igno- 
rance. O for wisdom from ?ibove to. humble the soul> and 
exalt the. Redeemer* 


1 «• 

: the 
ley feel: 
lone so 

of the 
1 pass 
y prove 
all the 

. My- 
of the 


o much. 

m there 

jin and 
hat eve— 
in the 

5 world 
id go to 
rly evi- 
ls Holy 

igs- and 
eased to 
r the €v- 
;n open- 

with the 

1 still in 
a short 

of God, 
:empt to 
ly igno- 
oul> and 

'^7th. This day I preach jd to a great number of peo- 
p^fe in a bari\. Many of tlie christians were rejoicing. But 
v) how little is my soul affected to wl»at it should l>f:, in de- 
livering such truths. Although I sometimes feel my soul 
awake and happy, and engaged beyond what I can ex- 
press, yet it is no ways adequate to the importance of thi? 
subject ; and the more I sec and feel, mulhinlcs the less 
I see and feel in my own conception. 

28th. I ENJOYED this day some happy moments, auri 
had some heavy hours and darkness. O vvhcit a crooked 
and uneven walk the christian's walk is. One hour ii; 
liberty and rejoicing, the next in prison and grieving. 

29th. This day I rode with company some distance 
and then preached. 1 think my soul felt the power of the 
gospel ; likewise many others. () the sweetness of God*s 
word, when it comes with power to tlie sou!. Ah I little 
does the world know what the christians enjoy. 

30th. O THE death that 1 feel this day at times -in my 
soul ; and then for a short moment would get relief again : 
and would think that I should not get so imprisoned again ; 
and perhaps in an instant would find^ myself again in a 
wildeniess.. O that I could live with God every hour of 
my life, and desert from him no more. 

3 1 St. Rode in company some distance, and preached. 
Conviction seemed to be revived on the minds of many, 
and christians got some blessings.. My own soul enjoyed 
happy moments, but too soon got away again from God in 

the dark. 

Great i& the kindness of my Saviour's hand, * 

Who leads me thro' this world's deceitful land ; 
Guards me in peace from all the rage of hell, 
Amidst my foes makes me in safety dwell. 
June 1st. Throu(3h the unbounded goodness of my 
God, who fills the heavens with his glory, I am brought to 
the beginning of another month in health of body, and 
sometimes in health of soul. O might I now. give up my 
soul, my hand, my tongue, my life, and aU to the R jcJeeruer. 
2d. O the happv -;ioments I have found sometimes at 
my pen, when I fino iny soul disentangled froni every 
amusement, and stayr.d upon God, and feeding on hig love. 
Bv*t I am grieved that I enjoy no more, when I am so much 
indulged. This day I have hours aloni and none to 
make me afraid ; but still I find pride and unbelief bars mc 
from much of the .love of God, 







ZO,. Freaciifd tliiii day two scnnoiis in ;i lurp;c barn,- 
an<l lowurds sunscl one SL-rnion in u prlvalo iifuisc. Th<; 
Lord was witli nic, and ^illi he society most of the 
dav, and tlrat very sensibly. Si'iners v.cre awakened anil 
chriblians were rejoicii'if^. 

'lib. () THiu cl'.ani^es that the Spirit of (iotl makes in a 
man's n/nul. 'I hi* liay 1 was mvited to a man wlio had 
been j^o i;'rcat an opposcr as to ti;rcv»ten to me. I 
foiiiul liim undei" a i. veat sense of liis con(iiti(;n, and cryini^ 
for nrjicy. 1 staid with hini tliat niji^-ht. Some others in 
the same nei[i;Iibcurb.o( d were awakened. 

.Oth, I Roni: witii a christian friend from place to pUicc 
to see them th.^t were uwakened, and tlien preached in the 
evenini;. 'I'hc Lord warr there by hir Spirit, and, I trii«t, 
set the truths homu en the minds ol many. IJIessed be his 

6th, I SPKNT tlic fore part of this (Uiy goinp; from 
house to house, and conversing- with sainis and sinners. 
I preached in the afternoon, and the people were 
dismissed about seven o'clock, yet so great was their de-- 
sire to hear, that tliey left not the house, but remained un- 
Vil eleven o'clock at nig;ht, and Clod gave a blessing. 

7th. I RODii twenty miles this day, and preached a 
sermon ; and the Lord fed iiij children, and my own soiU 
got greatly refreshed. 

8th. 1 HAD this day some vf:ry Inappy , moments, and 
some very trying ones ; but God carried me through thera, 
blessed be his name, and gave me strength equal to my 
day ; but <.) how little do I love or fear him ; or what do I 
do to his' praise . 

9lh. Tnis^day I met the church. Some joined the 
church, and the Lord was there. Yea and something very 
uncommon-, and for the comfort of aged and distressed sin- 
ners happened there. An old woman came and declared 
her conversion, w'ho had lived 70 years in the world, and 
hud been a member of a church. She said she thought to 
become a christian gradually, and thought herself as good 
as otliers in the church. . O that thousands in the world, 
who are church-members, were as sensible of their igno- 
rance of Christ and the new birth. 

10th. I PREACHED two sermotts this day in a large 
harp, and partook of the sacrament with the church. SomiC 
more joined the church, and a blessed day it was to many 

'^'A'c I)arn;. 
;.se. T\,ii 
''t of the 
'tiled and 

uikcs in a 

wjio iiad 

inc. I 

'f' ciyinjv 
•Uicrs in 

'(I i:j tlic 

I tniht, 
■fl be his 

S: from ' 
Ic were 

licir de- 
iK'd un- 



ched a 
'n soiU 

s, and 
' them, 


fl the; 

'; very 
cl sin- 

1 and 

M to 


j» -.'■■•• ■ 



of them. I rode to a meeting-house, where I preachecj 
again, and some of the brethren exhorted and prayed. Some 
of them were almost ready to leave their bodies with rap- 

1 1th. O thR mournful hours of darkness with a sense, 
of the body of sin and death I was burthened with this 
day ! O how can I live any longer witliov.t Ciod. O where 
sliould I go for help or rest, if I had nc God : but blessed, 
be his name, he appears. 

12th. I HAD some liberty this day, especially in 
preaching ; but not so much as my soul longed for. When, 
O when will Jesua give me more hberty of soul ? When 
sliall I get more victory over sin and death, and live and. 
walk with God every hour of my life ? 

13th» None but christians can tell the burthen of^ 
death and darkness they have sometimes to bear. The 
sinners know not, they are dead. I had some happy mo- 
ments this evening when preaching, and some sinners were 
convicted. O that God would convert their souls. 

14th. I RODE about 11 miles and preached, and thea 
about 13 miles in the evening ; and a hippy evening it was 
to me riding alone through the woods. 1 thouglit it wa\ 
as happy a ride as ever I knew, 8ind although it was very 
dark, yet that darkness was pleasant to me, because I liad 
light within. O the unspeakable worth of a heavenly friend,, 
and the sweetness of conversing with him. 

15th. Mt mind at times seemed stayed on God thif 
day ; but I had some ilarkness and trials for part of the 
day ; yet the Lord was kind, and blessed be his name. 

16th. As 1 came to Horton last evening I met this y 
day the church of Horton and Comwallis. Some mem*^ 
bers were added to the church ; and it was a day of joy to 
christians ; and it was the joy of my heart to meet. with, 
them and see them happy. 

17th. A TERY large number met this day from three 
towns, and part of the churches came to the Lord's table« 
The Lord gave his children a great sense of his love. O^ 
that I could love him more. 

18th. This morning I had some happy momenta^ 
. an# spent some time with three men that were under con- 
viction, who came from a great distance to see me. O 
may they be brought to knpw the Lord and to enjoy hi^Ss 





19lh. I HAD not mucli liberty this day until the eve- 
ning when prcachinj^. God gave my soul '.i sense of his 
love ; and many of the children of ( iod were also jjjrcatly 
blessed. Some were almost carried out of the body with 
divine discoveries. 

20th 1 WKNT to Falmouth, and had not much liberty 
in my soul till the evening. O that 1 could find my whole 
soul awake to love, pray and praise my Ood, and that I 
niii^ljt enjoy him every hour of niy life. 

21r,t. Many assembled this day to hear tlie gospel, 
and God made it a good day to his children, and to some 
tinners in awakening them, and bringing them to cry out 
for mtrcy. O tha* they might find relief to their souls. 
It was also a good oay to my soul ; but I do pot live so 
near to God as I think I might. 

22d. I THINK I long to live above rII things here be- 
low, and have my mind continually stayed upon God, that 
I might feed upon his love, and praise his nnme, as long a» 
1 live, 

2od. Many dark moments I waded through this day, 
and it seemed I was the most unhappy of all beings, I 
find the nearer I have lived to God, the more distressing 
it is to be in the dark. O how can I bear his absence s'o 
long ? I must have some glimpse of his love, or I cannot 
live. I find he is kind, and reclaims mc very often. 

24th* This morning my soul seemed at liberty before 
meeting, and part of the day. O the happiness of having 
the mind borne away above the vs^orld I and it was a day of 
rejoicing to the christians There was the greatest num- 
ber thot ever I saiv attend in that town, and they appesured 
to give great attention. 

25th. Who could have thought, unless they had 
known it by experience, that a christian could so soon get* 
his mind in prison, after he has had such liberty, which was 
my case this day ? but, blessd be God, he soon appeared 
again and gave me some taste of his love. O may he 
have the praise, ard may my soul rejoice in him. 

26th. I THOUGHT I should not have had liberty this 
day ; for I would have it for about a moment, and was then 
in darkness a;.;ain ; but in the afternoon when I preached, 
the Lord gave my soid more liberty, than I have had for 
some time. Many of the christians were likewise rejoicing* 
() that I could love such a good God more, and live morei 
to his praise^. ' • ^ . 



the eve- 
56 of his 
) p^fcatly 
"»(ly witii 

:li liberty 
II y uhole 
ncl that I 

to some 
' cry out 
r souls. 

live so 

icre bc- 
od, that 
long a» 

lis day, 
iigs. I 
ence so 

day ©f 

)n get 
h was 
ly he 

then - ; 

1 for 

27th. I uoDK with a christian friend from place to 

place, and conveised with, the pe(Ji)le. The doors of same 

liouaes were open to converse, but others so evidently shut, 

that I soon left them. As for myself, 1 passed this day 

through various seenes of light and darkness 

28th. I wENr over to Windsor wit. i tour or five in 
company, and preaciiid a lecture there. Tlic Lonl caused 
some movings amonr;,st the people, and I eiijoyed some 
happy mom«iUs in my soul. O that I could feci thw love of 
Jesus every hour. 

29th. I WENT to sec some people uutler some mov- 
ingfi of the Sph'it, but did not enjoy nuich hl.>-.ily :r. my own 
soul. • C) how unhappy it is lo feel a load of c';- ith and 
darkness, pride and luibelief, williout some lijjlit and libei ty. 

30tli. It seems an enccurugement to sre li'^oplc j^ive 
such a'tention in tlii;: dar'.: ph'xe as I <ViMnd tliey did : the 
Lord was with us this lay, and it was a good day to the 
christians ; yea, u \.>:o<)d day to I'.nMi souls indeed. 

July Ist. This day was a vyood day to the ehri^tians, 
who were there mostlv from otl^er towns ; and some sin- 
ners were under conviction. We met again just before 
sun-down, ^nd many people attended. , 

2d. t jfAD some happy moments tliis day, likewise , 
some darkness. O that 1 could enjoy Cod every hour, and 
live to him. r 

O would the Lord stoop dovin so low, 
To ruard iviy i'cet where'er I g-o, 

And devote nie lo Ills praise. 
O lake nie, take i"ne near to thee, 
.- And let mc but buctcssful be, 

In thy cause all my days. 
3d. I ENjoYKD this day some happy hours; and about the 
middle of the afternoon, I took a walk, and thought I felt not 
only a nearness to God, but likewise some peculiar impres- 
sions on my mind of the necessity of giving all up to God, let 
what would come ; aiid I saw the need I stood in of having a 
friend to loan unon. I often told tlie Lord that 1 never 
should be able to go through the storms of the world witli- 
out a sense of a present friend, and seemed as nYuch en- 
gaged to miplore the hand of God to supportr me, as if I. 
licid knov/n I lu\d some trials to no through immcdiatelv. 
And m i :ss than an hour I was threatened of my life by 
two or three men. An ofiicer of emin-rants came to me > 
first with his reproaches in the public street, scymg, lie 

1 39 

1''\ itt 


I told 

wanted that I should convert him 
have expected good manners and civility from a nian that 
made his appearance, letting alone religion ; and that I 
wondered that one like him wonld assault a stranger in that 
manner in the public streets. Pie then began to curse and 
«wear, asking me what riglrt I had to preach. I told him 
it was out of my power to give him the least account of it. 
He then raged in a most shocking manner, and threatened 
•my life, with bitter oaths. After this two ruffians went by 
the house where 1 was with drawn swords, -swearing they 
would take away my life, but did not come in the house^ 
.although there was not one that resisted them : neither 
.'did I attempt to hide or flee from them, but was sitting in 
* tlie house discoursing with some christians. Thus I saw, 
that in all their rage, there was an awe upon them. O tlwkt 
they might see and repent before it is too late. 

4th. About five in the afternoon, came an officer to 
the house where I was, in an insulting manner. The mafi 
of the house turned him out of the doors. After which he 
cursed and blasphemed, and laboured to break open the 
door with a stick of wood. In a few moments there 
were near twenty men round the door, many of them 
swearing they would l)e the death of me. I was advised by 
some in the house to go out at the back door and getaway, 
I replied that I would -do it by no means, 1 was called there 
\yy God, and there I would stay, till duty called me away. 
I opened the window, and asked them what they wanted of 
me ; telling them to act like reasonable men ; and if I had 
done them any wrong, I was ready to answer for it. After 
" which I told the people of the house that 1 would go out 
among them, and see if I could not pacify them. My 
friends advised nie not to go out, telling me they would cer- 
tainlv kill me. I told them I feared not, and that I 
. would go out, and they might fasten themselves in. 
I then opened the door, and went out. They came 
around me, and one of them, lifting up his hand, swore 
he would be revenged on me. I caught him by the 
forepart pf his coat with meekness, and begged him to con- 
sider what he was about, and to act like a rational man. 
He cursed an ] swore for a ^vhile, but did not strike me. By 
this time the officer and otherj in the company became so 
calm as to talk witli me. I wes thirn told by the officer, 
that lie would advise nae as a friend to desist frotii preaci;- 

I iTfiight 
man that 
d that I 
er in that 
;urse and 
told him 
ant of it. 
s went by 
,ring they 
le house^ 
: neither 
sitting in 
Lus I saw, 
.. O that 

officer to 
The man 
which he 

open the 
nts there 

of them 
idviscd by 
get away, 
lied there 
me away, 
wanted of 
d if 1 had 
it. After 
lid go out 
em. Mv 


vould cer- 
id that I 
selves in, 
ey came 
nd, swore 
u by the 
m .0 con- 
Mi al man. 
erne. By 
ecame so 
le officer, 
a preach- 



ing, or leave the place. I told him, I should obey God be- 
fore man. He then told me my life would be t£Lken away 
in a few days if I continued preaching. I told him I would 
preach when 1 was called ; neither was I about to leave the 
place, until duty called me from it : and after some more 
conversation with him and others of the company, I bid 
him a good night, and went in the house. A little after I 
got in, another party of men came round the corner, and 
rushed up to the door, inquiring for me in a great rage ; 
but did not come in the house, but remained round the 
door, some of them mocking and hooting, while we were 
singing and praying. 

5th. This day my life was threatened, if I walked 
out. But God was stronger than a strong man armed ; 
for I had no hands laid upon me. In the evening they 
came round the house where a number of us had met to 
sing and to pray, cursing, swearing and threatening. O 
may I ever have a heart to pity them and to pray for them, 
as long as they are objects of prayer. O that they might 
return and consider before the great day 

6th. Blessed be God for his kindness and love to me 
this morning, wheji walking out in the fields. Then I 
found it was easy to suffer any thing, if Christ was with 
me. But O without him, how could I stand the storms of 
this world, and what is worse, those of my own heart ? Yea> 
I found by what trials and persecutions I went through, <that 
it was hard to have the mind in such a frime, as to suifer 
wholly for Christ. As for the pains of tht> body, whicli I 
might suffer by any corporeal punishment, 1 found that I 
could sometimes bear and endure them, with a resolute 
spint of the gospel in exercise, and not have my heart 
suitably affected with the spirit of Christ, This would not 
be suffering for Christ's sake. And herein I believe many 
arc deceived about bearing the cross, even when they seem 
to bear it patiently without reflection and resentment, or 
any desire of revenge ; bearing trials and reproaches bold- 
ly and with fortitude, and expect a reward, when tliey are 
not really aiming at the glory of God, nor truly influenced 
with his Spirit ; that spirit of tlie blessed Redeemer and 
his gospel ; which they ought to have, to bear his cross. . 

7th. The vessel that I had been waiting for to go to 
the county of Cumberland was now come in. I went ou 



board of her, aiid the same day we sailed, after I had bid 
my friends farewell, promising to return to them as soon 
as possible. We lay in the bason of Mines all that night. 
About midnight there was a terrible thunder-storm, but the 
Lord was kind to me, blessed be his name for it. 

8 th. On Sabbath-day I got to Partridge -island, and 
preached there about seven in the morning to what people 
were there. They were about 20 in number, and seemed 
to give great attention to the word preached, and my own 
soul was also blessed. And great, yea great was God*s 
goodness to me. O that I could love him with all my soul ! 

9th. I RODE through tlie woods about 50 miles to 
where it was inhabited. I was then in a strange place, 
where I never had been before : but O the Loixl remem- 
bered his poor unworthy servant, and gave me many bles- 
sed moment^ when riding alone. O the woi th of an invis- 
ible, kind, infinite and uneliangeable friend. 

10th. The people heard I was come in, and therefore 
were ready to attend the gospel. I preached a sermon, 
and the Lord was kind, and gave a blessing. 1 found there 
some sincere christians, who knew the voice of the gospel, 
and rejoiced to hear it, and blessed God that he had sent me. 

11th. I CROSSED the river to Amherst point, and 
preached there in the evening ; I found many there, who 
were rejoicing to hear the gospel, and God was kind to 
them, and blessed their souls by me. O that I may always 
love to serve God and his children. 

12th. Blessed be God I am what I am, and ai^i safe- 
ly conducted wherever I go, and blessed with all 1 need of 
this world's good, and some blessings the world knows no- 
thing of. O the sweetness of the mercies of God, when it 
is seen and felt in all the movings of his hands. O that I 
could live under a continual sense of his love and goodness, 
O how happy should I be i 

13th. I RODE to Fort Lawrence, and preached there 
in the evening, and God was there. O what liberty my 
soul felt to proclaim my Redeemer's name and his gospel ; 
Avhich I then thought and still think, is a favourable symp- 
tom of God's intended goodness. Many people both chris- 
tians and sinners were there ; and that night the work of 
God began. The christians were not only rejoicing but 
many sinners were taken hold of by the Spirit of God. 

14th» O how little do I know ai;i enjoy God to what 

I had bid 

I as £0on 
that night, 
m, but the 


sland, and 
hat people 
nd seemed 
id my own 
was God's 

II my soul 1 
miles to 
inge place, 
•I'd remem- 
many bles- 
of an invis- 

d therefore 
a sermon, 
found there 
the gospel, 
ad sent me. 
there, who 
^as kind to 
may always 

nd aiii safe- 
lU I need of 
I knows no- 
od, when it 
, O that 1 
d goodness . 

Lched there 
liberty my 
his gcspel ; 
•able symp- 
; both chris - 
he work of 
ijoicing but 
of God. 
od to what 




J ought '. I am amazed that any one day can be spent as 
this was, with so little sense of divine things : yet, blessed 
be God, I long for the more sweet enjoyment of him. 

1 5th. Tiiia day being Sabbath day, such a number of 
people attended that I was obliged ta preach in the open 
field. O it was a day of God*s powers especially amon%- 
the christians, who began to travail foi souls. My own 
soui had also a blessing granted to it. 

1 6th. I WENT up the river and preached. 1 found tiio 
Lord still with me, who blessed my labours, ihit ah I havt: 
reason to be ashamed, that I have no more love and grat- 
itude, when I am so much indulged. O that my whole 
soul was awake. . 

17th. O SHALL I say that I walked with God this day., 
and tliat my soul was conversing with him as v/itli a father. 
Yea, happy moments my soul enjoyed in the love of Jesus, 
O that 1 could live with him thus all my days. In the c- 
vening I preached again in the fields. 

18th. I WENT over to Fort Lawrence, found my soul 
a live in God, and he blessed my labours. O the sweetness 
of heavenly joys I little does the world know what chriri- 
tians enjoy in their God. Lord ever more give me Xhm 

19th. I PREACHED this day near the garrison. Some; 
of the officers came to hear, and a great croud of people of 
all sorts. And O what a desire I had, yea a longing desire 
that God woul give me success ; and I trust the day waa 
not wholly lost. Some were blessed with light, and some 
with love. 

20th I PREACHED at Mrs. , and it was a c\ay of 

tiod's pov/er. The people thronged with hungry souls to 
hear the word. The glorious gospel of Jesus is getting a 
good name here ; and let me serve him witli all my soul. 

2fst. I PREACHED this day at 2 o'clock in the after- 
noon, and then rode some distance and preached again at 7 
in the evening. I enjoyed this day some happy moments, 
and some trying ones. O that I had more light, love and 
humility, and liberty in the gospel. 

22d. I PREACHED two scrmons this day, and God was 
kind to me and to others. Methinks I feel willing to preach 
and labour until I die, if I could but have my soul at the 
time alive with God, and humbled at his feet. 

23d. I RODK much this day and preached often, and 





almost every sermon to those who had heard me before, and 
God was kind to me and to the people and a blessing at- 
tended by labours almost at every sermon. May Jesus 
have the praise. 

24th. Blp:ssed moments I enjoyed part of this day, 
especially wlien preaching;. But () I had many a battle 
>vith the old man and past through many storms ; but Je- 
j«us my Lord was kind and gave me the victory. And one 
day I hope and trust to obtain the victory fully, yea the final 
conquest, and see my Captain face to face in everlastinp; joy. 

25th. 1 WKNT with some cln'isUan friends to Mci^iam- 
cook, wh<n*c there was a boat provided for us, and went for- 
ty miles the same day up the river Petit, Codiack, intend- 
ing to preach in all the villages when wc*return. In the 
evening the people attendedi a sermon and God gave a 
blessing to some souls. 

26th. I PREACHED this morning to tlcse people to 
whom I preached last evening : then went ciown the river 
with five or six boats in company ; and in the afternoon I 
preached again, then dismissed the people and appointed a 
meeting at ten at night ; when they almost all attended a- 
gain, and seemed hungry for the word. O what blessings 
my soul enjoyed in God my saviour, yea, and he blessed 
*me with a longing desire to spend and be spent in his bless- 
ed cause. 

> * 27th. I ROSE by break of day on account of the tide j 
"we sung and prayed and refreshed our bodies, and set out 
to go lower down tlie river, and stopt at the lowest village, 
Vvhere J liad promised to stop as I returned. The people 
were chiefly Germans, Init they universally attended, and 
many were taken hold of by the word. Most of them could 
understand English and \vould not take a denial, but I must 
visit them again if I lived : which I promised I would, if 
ever I came to the county again. () the kindness of my 
God. What reason have 1 to love him for his goodness to 
.me and to others. 

28th» i GOT three men more to go with me to Shepody.. 
' 1 enjoy<,^d happy moments on our way. We would often 
*ing and pray, while in the boat and God was with us. 

29th. SABBATifday. The people being informed I 
was come, attended, and God was pleased to give a bless- 
ing. I endeavoured to labour and pray with them, the lit.^ 
lie time I was there, and it was not in vain. The people 



before, and 
lessing at- 
lay Jesus 

this day, 
y a battle 
i but Jc- 
And one 
?a the final 
lusting; joy. 
:1 went for- 
:k, intend- 
1. In the 
od gave a 

people to 
5 the river 
iftcrnoon I 
ppointed a 
ttended a- 
t blessings 
le blessed 
n his bless- 

f the tide j 
ind set out 
:st viilaj^e, 
'he people 
inded, and 
hem could 
but I must 
would, if 
ess of my 
;oodness to 

3 Shepody* 
fould often 
th us. 
n formed I 
ve a bless - 
m, the lit^ 
he people 

seemed very glad of an opportunity to hear the gospel, in- 
treating me to return, if possible, and see them again. O 
may the seeds sown never be plucked up. Lord, bless them', 
redeem their souls, and get all the glory to thy blessed 

30th. About three in the morning after singing and 
praying we set out on our return to Meriamcook, got there 
about twelve, and after some refreshment of body I preach- 
ed there. God was pleased to water his gospel, especially 
ampng the young people. We then left boat and took our 
horses. O let me rejoice and bless God for what I have 
seen of his goodness to me, and success of his gospel in 
that dark corner of the globe. 1 now left some young men, 
that went with us to manage the boat. And O what a de- 
sire I had that God would reward them with a portion far 
better than this world. Some of them appeared very much 
awakened, and blessed be God, before I left the county of 
Cumberland, one of them was brought to the knowledge of 
Jesus : and I expect to see him one day in the Kingdom of 
Glon\ O may the others be brought in likewise. I rod« 
to Sackfield to C. D. Esq* 

31st. This day after visiting some people I preached 
in the evening, and God was there with such power, that 
some, who had known the truth before, were almost over- 
come with ipy. O that I could love him more. 
The month is gone ; vHat have I done 

For my dear Saviour'a name ^ 
What shall I say, what shall I do, 

That will advance his fame ? 
My coldness, O my God, forgive,. 
And every weak desire receive. 
AvovsT 1st. O might my soul now be inspired with grace,, 
To spread good news unto the fallen race. 
O Jesus, lead me in thy blessed name, , 
To be successful in thy bleeding fa\ne : 
And let me serve thee with my heart and soul 
As long as mortal hours and moments roll. 
Then receive mp to thy bles^'d abode, 
Where 1 for ever shall enjoy my God, 

This was a good day to me, especially when I 
preached. God blessed my labours to some poor souls. 

2d. After singing and praying with my friends in 
that part of the town, I rode with a christian man about 
15 miles and preached. O how my soul longed for liber-- 

\ ■*■ ■■ 


ElV. HEKKT ALL|!fE*!» 


1, ^ 


ty. It seemed as if I could not live so any lonj^er ; for t 
just began to know the worth of liberty. O that my bles- 
sed Jesus would bless my soul with much of his love and' 

3d. God gave me this day some liberty of soul. I 
preached with some success to some of the capital men 
of that placC) who began to listen to the gospel ; and som& 
of the officers of the garrison were very attentive. One 
of them, after sermon, invited me to dine >vith him the 
[Monday next : and when I went I was treated with great 
civility. He acknowledged the truths of the gospel, and 
promised me whatever assistance I wanted, while travel- 
ling in that county, as he was the chief commander. He 
told me, he had heard I had been abused by one of his un- 
der officers, which he was grieved for. He told me fur- 
ther, that I should not have an insult from any in the gar- 
rison, but their help, if I needed it., And thus I saw, that 
God is able to cause all things to work together for the 
good of his children : for this very officer had letters from 
other officers against me, and was desired to take me up, 
aod although he had no real religion, yet he could not op- 
pose, but encourage the gospel. 

4th, The church now began to gather together .in 
gospel fellowship, without any bars or separation about dif- 
ferent sects or denominations, but whoever loved and 
brought Christ and belonged to him were freely received 
into full communion.. 

5th. This was a day of God's power. I preached 
three times, and some souls were set at liberty by the 
blood of the Lamb, and brought from the borders of eter- 
nal ruin to rejoice in the wonders of redeeming love. A 
great number of people attended, and many of the capital 
men. O the desire I had to be a blessing to them that 

6th. Spent some time in the garrison, and then rode- 
about fix miles and preached in a large barn. And I be-~ 
lieve, that Jesus was there. O the sweetness ol being withi 
Jesus. O may it be forever my lot and portion to enjoy 

7th. I COULD not find this day that liberty my soul 
longed for» My soul seemed like a stranger here, and was 
\g6pt in fetters and in prison against |ny will. O I longed 
to get the victory over sin, and could say with Sampson, O 




r ; for t 
ny bles- 
love and' 

soul. I 
:al men 
nd some 
B. One 
him the 
ith great 
ipel, and 
; travel- 
er. He 
f his un- 
me fiir- 
the gar- 
jaw, that 
for the 
ers from 
e me np, 
i not op-- 
bout dif- 
ved and 

by the 

of eter- 
10 ve. A 

;m that 

len rode- 

Id I be-. 

ig withi 


ly soul 

md was 


)son, O 

Lord, give me strcnf^th this once, that I may be avenged 
on the Philistines, for my two eyes : for there is nothing, 
no nothing so great a burthen to me as darkness and sin. 

8th. This morning I set out with about 20 people oi> 
horseback to the Bay Veid» We sung and prayed on the 
road, and when v/e came there, I preached in the after- 
noon and in the evening, and God gave a blessings The 
people desired mt to remain all night, and preach again m 
tiie morning, which I did, and God was tlitre. 

9th. After I had preached and prayed, we took leave 
of the people, and returned back to Cumberland. But Q 
the trying hours I had on my mind this evening on ac- 
count of darkness. 

10th. This was a good day to me, especially in the 
evening, when being wearied in body, I told my friends I 
must go to my bed as soon as I could : but in prayer it 
pleased God to come with such power, that some in the 
room who before had been careless, were takon hold oF 
and roared out for mercy : and there were three souls 
brought out rejoicing that night ; oneof which was a young 
lady, who was dressed with her high head, and other su- 
perfluous ornaments, who was taken hold of with such 
power, that she never ceased crying for mercy in the 
greatest agony of soul, till she was delivered, and I think 
brought into as great Uberty as ever I saw any one in so 
short a time. (And although the powers of antichrist 
fight hard against such sudden and powerful conversions, 
yet, blessed be God, I was naw an eye-witness of one 
brought from a careless state to the triumph of faith in 
about two hours, and as I have known her since, she con- 
tinues toDe"a remarkable ornament to the gospel she pro- 
fesses. Many more I have known brought through very 
suddenly (who provf cl hy their christian walk, to be sin- 
cere) though not so siidden as she was ; but I believe ma- 
ny have been more instantaneous.) And O what a bles*. 
sed night that was. Some were praying, and some prais- 
ing with a loud voice and sincerity of soul all the nights 
As for my own part, I never closed my eyes to sleep rill 
the next day. O that I had a heart to give the glory to my^ 
blessed master I 

1 1th. This day I had some happy moments in preach- 
ing, but about twelve of the clock at night, being in my 
bed-coom alone, I heard some young people praying and 





groaning with bitter groans for meicy, and pleading for one 
drop of the blood of Christ to wash away their sins, which 
so affected mc, that I could not close my eyes all night to 
irleep, being under such a sense of the deplorable condition 
of the unconverted, hearing them (as I went out of the 
room) express their miserable danger approaching, and 
lost and undone condition, while out of Christ, in so great 
agonies and distress, as if they were just plunging into 
eternity and ruin. O the wretched state, that sinners are 
in, and do not know it ! 

12th. 1 preached three sermons this day, and God 
brought some souls to Christ, and many christians to re- 
joice in great liberty. I'he hearers were so numerous, 
that I was obliged to preach in the fields. O how my soul 
travailed, wliile speaking, when I beheld many groaning 
under almost insupportable burthens, and crying out for 
mercy. This day the church met to receive members, and 
according as I had advised tliem, no mention was made, of 
I what think ye of Paul, Apollos, or Cephas ; but what think 
ye of Christ. O the power of the Holy Ghost that was 
among the people this day. A number joined the church, 
and some sinners v, ere brought to re j nice in Jesus Christ 
their friend. 

14th. O THE heavy moments I went through part of 
this day, mourning the absence of God my friend. O dark- 
ness, darkness, how can I bear it ? when, O wtien will God 
^-eturn ? However God was kind to me, and did not leave 
me long in the dark. In the evening I rode about six 
miles and preached. After which I set out with about twen- 
ty people on horseback. We s\ing as we were riding, then 
prayed and then sung again ; and when singing, the Lord 
was pleased to set one mourning soul at liberty, who was 
about forty years of age. 

15th. I RODE with a number of people to Sackfield, 
but did not enjoy that love and liberty of soul, as sometimes 
I do. O what a grief it is to think that I should be dark 
'4nd cold, when I am in the cause of God, and the Re- 
deemer's work reviving. O how can I be so cold ; why is 
not my whole soul awake with love and gratitude in praises 
to mv God. 

16th. This day the church met, and about twenty 
were added to it. It was a blessed day to my soul, espe- 
cially at about eight o'clock in the evening : . when speak- 



for one 
, which 
ught to 
of the 
ig, and 
io great 
mg into 
lers are 

nd God 

is to re- 
my soul 
out for 
)ers, and 
made, of 
lat think 
that was 
; church, 
[S Christ 

h part of 
O dark- 
will Cod 
not leave 
about six 
lOUt twen- 
ling, then 
the Lord 
who was 

Id be dark 
the Re- 
l ; why is 
in praises 

ut twenty 
soul, espe- 
li en speak- 

ing to the christians, my whole soul was so ravished with 
the love of Jesus, thai 1 could scarcely speak ; yea, my very 
heart seemed melted with love. O the love, the infinite 
love of my God I Hovt is my soul on the wing when 1 have 
but one glimpse of that sacred love : and if one glimpse is 
so great and transporting, what will it be to swim forever 
in the infinite ocean, and notliing to annoy. O my Jesus, 
shall I ever be so happy ; shall 1 one day awake in perfect 
joy with thee ? O it is all I want, and all I need. Give it 
to me, O my God, and thine be the glory, for ever. Amen. 

17th. Preached at five in the morning, and God was 
there of a truth. We then sung and prayed in the street, 
after which I left the people, rode ten miles, and then 
preached again. And O what shall I say ? my heart longs 
to acknowledge the goodness of God to the wretched chil- 
dren of men. My heart and soul was at liberty, and some 
blessings were sent by mc. I then rode a mile, and preach- 
ed in the evening ; and the Lord still continued his good- 
ness. After sermon my heart leaped for joy to have an 
old judge, who had been also a major in the king's service^ 
come and take me by the hand, telling me, wifth t^ars in his 
eyes, I am happy to see you once more. I repl.ed, I hope 
1 shall be so happy as to see you a brother in Christ, and 
enjoy an everlasting day with you. He answered, I 
kope I shall ; for, blessed be God, I am now convinced that 
I have been all my days in the drirk, and that this is the on- 
ly way to eternal life and happiness. God grant, said I, 
thai you may be brought out and become a father in IsraeL 
1 hope I shall, replied he, although in the eleventh hour. 

18th. I HAD this day some darkness and someUghtin 
my own soul. O what on uneven walk is the christian's 
walk tlu'ough this wilderness state. O what a mystery 1 
am to myself ! When I get near to God, I can hardly 
think 1 shall see such times again. But O my master 
changes not. I preached in the evening, and a number 
more joined the church. 

19th. O what a day of joy was this to the christians t 
The church partook of the sacrament of the Lord's Sup- 
per. Many of them were as full of love as they could con- 
tain, both under the sermon and at the table, and seven 
souls were, I believe, born to Christ this day. O the shout* 
of praise that were heard among the christians, both old 
^d young ! Many sinners were groaning under the burthea 






1* . 





i- ■ 


f* '1 


I; I 





of their sins, and pleading for mercy, and for the blood o^ 
Christ with unspeakable agonies of soul. O may Jesus 
bring them tli rough to share with us, and forever join ts 
glorify his blessed name. 

20th. I uoDE "with fifteen in company about ten miles, 
crossd a river, and preached. I found God still working 
with jyjwer. Three precious and immortal souls were 
brought out rejoicing, and many more begging for rzwcy. 
Publicans and harlots enter the kingdom before the phaii- 
sees. One who had been an officer's wife, was brought 
from deep distress, even the borders of despair, to rejoice 
in the blessed Redeemer. O what a wonder of wonders to 
see the offscourings of all things, who have long been wa!- 
iowing in wickedness, married to the spotless Lamb of God, 
received into his embraces, rejoicing in his smiles and 
made heirs of everlasting love. Yea it is no wonder that 
scribes and pharisees think strange (and the gospel becomes 
a stumbling block to them) to see such wicked creatures 
return to God and rejoice in his love, when they have lived 
so long and lalioured so much, and still remain strangers to 
the true peace of conscience and joy in the Holy Ghotit. 
Yea, when those, that are brought from such a life of de- " 
bauchery, declare what they have found, what they enjoy 
of God, and v/hat they think of the moralists (as young con- 
verts are very apt to do) how hard is it for the moralists tO' 
believe them > who have been so lontr members of churches, 
and are advocates in the externals of religion. What, say 
they, thou wast altogether born in sin, and dost thou teach 
\is ? O the mystery of the gospel, and the blindness of the 
natural man. 

2 1st. I PREACHED a scrmon this morning to a large- 
number and bid them farewell. I think their souls were ' 
brought to rejoice in God, and the christians greatly reviv- 
ed. As for my own part I was so filled with love to God and 
to his childrea (when we seemed all wrapped up in unity 
of the Spirit and bonds of peace) that my heart was ready 
to burstj and sometimes ready to cry out in the language 
of the spouse, Stay me with flagons, comfort me with ap- 
ples, for 1 am sick of love. A nd when I left them, I eould 
hardly speak, although not with grief, for I could leave 
them freely, but was so affected with what I saw and felt 
©f God*S love and goodness ; and to think I should one day 
meet them in glory,to love and praise my God to all etemi* ' 

blood oir 
y Jesus 


n miles, 
Is were 
i phari- 
iders to 
en >val- 
les and 
ler ihut 
ve lived 
igers to 
; of de- 
y enjoy 
ng con- 
alists to 
lilt, say 
u teach 
3 of the 

a large' 
s were 
r reviv- 
iod and 
1 nnily 
i ready 
ith ap- 
I eould 
nd felt 
ne day 



ly, bore my soul above the world. I then rode to Partritlgc 
Island, and O the happy moments I had on the way 1 Me- 
thinks I cowld say, 1 conversed with God as with a friend. 

22d. This morning about break of day I was called 
out of my bed, and carried on board a privateer, but not out 
of any ill will to me, only they found, there was such a man 
there with a horse, and they, intending to take some vessels 
from out of the bason, were afraid that I should carry back 
intelligence to Cumberland before they had got ready to 
sail from that harbour. When I came on board, the cap- 
tain told me I should suffer no injury, but have whatever I 
wanted, and be put ashore again as soon us tlicy could, 
which accordingly they did in the evening, after they had 
tal^en three prizes. Let them that wish well to their souls 
flee from privateers as they would from the jawe of hell, 
for methinks a privateer may be called a floating hell. 

23d. I ENJOYED this day sonic happy moments at my 
pen and likewise in my private walks about the Island, X 
must acknowledge, the kindness of God to me is great, yea 
very great, and his tender mercies are over all his works. 
O that I had no other Gods but him, and could serve him 
with all my soul, and enjoy him for ever ! 

24th. O THE sweetness of trusting in God t We often 
say, we trust in God and depend on him, when we are far 
from it, and only give a stupid assent. And herein, I be> 
lieve thousands and thousands are deceived even in their 
own salvation. They say they believe in Christ, trust in 
God, depen<. only on free grace and the blood of Christ, 
and they wait for the mercy of God, and if they pericsh they 
will perish at Christ's feet ; and at the same time it is only 
from the lips outward (if I may vulgarly express myself) 
but the heart knows nothing of all this, and remains both 
ignorant and careless, yea and many go down to the grave 
with those expressions in their months, while the devil 
r«igns in their hearts, and so plunge themselves into eter- 
nal ruin. O Lord, undeceive poor precious and immortal 

25th. I WAS this day in an open boat put across the 
bason to Horton, and left my horse behind me on Partridge 
island, the ferry-boat not being there. 

26th. I PREACHED this day t\vic« in Horton court-house, 
and in the evening at the house of major H. and was oftci\ 
blest with great freedom^ in proclaiming'\he blessed name 

\ % 






«f ^csus, and his glorious gospel. In n^y private ho\irs the 
Lord was all my joy. 

Jesus, my Lord, I call thcc mine ; ' - * 

I feci thy word that makes me thine. 
Now on me gird the gospel sword, ^ 

AVith ilie whole armour of thy word, ^ 

To spreail the wonders of thy grace abroad, j 

29th. After being hi Hortoii three days, I went this 
day to Cornwallis, wliere I stayed seven days, and happy 
days they were. Many of the christians were so carried 
away at the meetings, that they coidd not contain from cry- 
ing out ; but that was with great offence to the Pharisees. 
O that they would throw down their rebellion, and the 
weapons thereof, and come and partake with us the glo- 
rious feasts of the christians. 

September 5th. I went to Horton, preached there 
in the evening, and my soul and those of others were fed, 
having many happy moments in the enioyment of God, 
and the presence of Jesus. 

6th. This day I went to Falmoutl ^ ..ere I had not 
been for some time, found many friends well, and rejoicing 
in the Lord. I preached the same evening, when a num- 
ber of ruffians came, some under the >vindows, and some in 
the door, howling and making all manner of noise to scoff 
at and ridicule us. After sermon a yo»ing discipte of 
Christ arose and spoke to them, warning them in the name 
of the Lord of Hosts (who, he told them, was viewing all 
their conduct, and heard their blasphemy) of their danger, 
telling them, that it was not the people they were scofTing 
' at ancl despising, but the spirit of the meek and Je- 
sus, the eternal Son of God, who died for their wretched 
souls, that they were making a mock of and blaspheming. 
As for us, added he, we do not regard how much you des- 
pisg and reproach us ; but for your sours sake, do not 
make a mock of the Lord Jesus Christ. 

8th. I went to Newport, and I cannot say, but I en- 
joyed some happiness at times in my own soul. But O 
what hard preaching to such a dead people I Tho- gospel 
seems to slip by them without any more impression on 
them, than water upon glass. A large place, with many 
inhabitants, and at that time I fear but about five or six 
that were real Christians in it. O what a miserable con- 
dition to the gospel-hardened, to hear the gospel, and to 
consent to tlie truths, without any feeling or concern. 



ours the 

,vcnt this 
a happy 

rom cry- 

and the 
the glo- 

hed there 
were fed, 
; of God, 

1 had not 
i rejoicing 
en a num- 
id some iri 
se to scoff 
liscipte of 
\ the name 
iewing all 
;ir danger, 
re scoffing 

lov/ly Je- 



you des- 

|ke, do not 

but I en- 
il. But O 
|ht> gospel 
•ession on 
•ith many 
ive or six 
irable con- 
Lel, and to 

I3tii. I WENT to Windsor, wliere I enjoyed happy 
'moments in my soul, and was enabled to triumph over all 
my trials, and rejoice in J<5sus my friend. Blessed be God, 
when at Windsor, I had the happiness to see a woman, 
who had come fourteen miles to hear the gospel, delivered 
from the bondage of sin, and the borders of eternal perdi- 
tion, and brought to the glorious liberty of the children of 
God. She was so overjoyed, that she could not contain, 
but cried out in divine raptures, with shouts of praise to 
God, pnd exhorting souls to come and share with her. I 
continued preaching and visiting my friends, with whom I 
-enjoyed many happy days, until the 24th, and then 1 took 
leave of them for a season, intending, if Providence per^ 
mit, to go round to Cape Orsue and Cape Sable, where T 
never had been. 

24th. I WENT to Hortonand preached there the same 
evening to a great crowd of people ; staid there and 
.preached again the iiext evening. O the sweetness of la- 
bouring in Christ's kingdom. I preached twice or three 
times almost every day. The more I preached, the mor« 
J loved it and longed to proclaim the name of Jesus to th« 
whole world. 

26th. I WENT to Cornwallis and preached there inth« 
evening to a crowd of people : for my custom was to send 
word what hour I would be there. 

28th. I LEFT Cornwallis, and rode twenty miles of 
.my way to Annapolis. O the sweet moments 1 enjoyed 
while I was riding, Jesus has so often blessed me, that I 
^enjoyed sometimes I leaven while I was riding on earth. 
O my soul, ever love and adore such a friend, for he is all 
my life, all my strength, all my joy, and stands by me, 
wherever I go. When I came to Wilmot, I stopped and 
preached there, and always found the lovcof God free and 
'his spirit ready, whenever my heart was open to receive it. 
Then Lord, with all my soul I'll comTS 

And cast myselF on thee. 
O lead me till I reach my home, 
From sin and sorrow n-ee. 

I REMAINED some days there and in Annapolis court* 
!ty and preached often to great crowds of people, and often 
«aw the power of God among the hearers, especially a^ 
anong the christians, who were very lively, and many c>{ 
«theHi rejoicing in triumph, 

, N 




October 10th. I rode with a young man in com- 
pany as far as Annapolrs bason, and the next day to St. 
Mary's bay. There I found a disciple of Jesus Christ* I 
staid one night with him and his wife in their little cot- 
tage, and was as happy with them in it as in a palace. The 
next day the man and his wife went with me, in a boat, a- 
bout twelve miles, where I expected to stop and preach, 
five or six families being there. When I came, I found 
there two of the dear children of God. I thought to have 
gone trom there before the Sabbath, but could not, for the 
two men I had hired for that |*irpose disappointed me, 
and I had reason to bless God that it was so, for I preached 
the more among those poor people. Some of them were 
greatly awakenec, and in a >hort time there were three of 
them converted, I trust, and came, out rejoicing in God 
their Saviour. I preached, and talked^ and laboured with 
the people all the time I was there, and Gctl blessed my 
endeavours. O that I might ever live under a sense of his 
goodness, rejoice iji his love, and proclaim his name. 

18th. 1 WKNT in a small boat with two men I had 
hired to carry me to Cape Orsue. We went but about 
six or seven miles that night, and staid with the French. 
The next moming we set out early with a fair wind, but 
when we came to a mountain, the wind was so high, that 
the men were afraid to go round the cape. I told them I 
had rather undertake to travel on foot than wait for an op- 
portunity to go by water. We travelled this day fourteen 
miles : the next moniing one of the men was taken so ill, 
that he could not travel ; for we were obliged to leave him 
in the camp, while the other man went with me to the set- 
tlements, and returned witli things for him. But he soon 
recovered. I travelled that day until it seemed as if I 
should drop dow'n with weariness ; for it was some of ray 
first travelling on foot. I was so wearied, that I was o- 
bliged to lean on the man's arm as I walked. I could 
hardly draw my feet after me, and we had nothing with us 
to eat, when we stopped, for we leu what we had with the 
sick man, expecting we should get in before we should 
want. /> s I was thus labouring, a remarkable instance of 
Providence happened. I asked the man how far we had to 
travel. He replied nine miles. I told him 1 should not 
get in that night. He said he would go in and fetch me a 
hoi'se for the rest of the way. Soon after he had spok« 


1 47 

these words, we espied five or six horses on the beach, that 
had come out so t"ai» from the the settlements, and witit- 
much trouble we caught two of them, with an intent to pay 
the owners for the use of them when we got in ; and wc 
got in without much more trouble. When we got to Cape 
Orsue I found the people very dark, and most of them op- 
posers to the power of Religion. The minister also at 
Chibogue came out and raged very high. Nevertheless 
there were doors opened for me, and I preached often 
while I was there, and some were awakened. The minis- 
ter raged sO'to my face, that I was obliged to tell him, that 
allowing I was ever so wroug, and was going to destruction, 
it was certain he was wrong, for he had discovered a mur- 
dering spirit in that rage and wrangling, which I told him 
was far from the spirit and ways of Jesus ; and at last liis 
passion was so high, that he left the house. When he was 
gone, his deacon, at whose house I was, vas so convinced, 
that '. e told me his house was open for me at any time« I 
travelled to Argyle and had some happy momeets on the 
way in the enjoyment of Jesus my blessed master. When 
I came there, many of the people seemed to be afraid of 
me ; but God soon began to work by his Spirit, which 
caused some to rejoice, and othera to cry out under a sense 
of their sins.^ O my soul could now rejoice, seeing the 
work of God beginning in that dark place. Often have I 
rose before day, and walked in the fields with joy, and I 
had much of the presence of God in speaking. Some 
christians that had long been in captivity, and were very 
dark, were enlivened, came out in public, and witnessed for 
the Lord Jesus Christ, and his gospel. O the happy hours 
jny soul enjoyed in. that place, both in public and private. 
Ah, I can say that I am in heaven, when I enjoy Christ, 
Let me be where I will, he is my life, he is my peace, he 
is my joy ; yea, he is all that can be enjoyed, and all that I 
ever expect or desire to enjoy, both for time and for eter- 
nity. O that I could always live in a feeling sense of his 
love and presence all my days. The people being much 
engaged and awakened, were with me continually, so that 
I was preaching, praying, exhorting or discoursing, almost 
all the lime, frotn early in the morning, till twelve at 

November 6th. I went down to Barrington, where 
I found the people very dark, yet they grv© attention, and 
soon began to be something awakened. 


' '' 




I i 




1 Itb. I WENT on board of a small schooner to go tav 
Liverpool, sailed all night, and was taken in the morning by 
an American privateer, carried back and put ashore where 
ive sailed Irom, which afterwards I was rejoiced for. I 
now went by land, and so preached to many little settle- 
ments, which I should have passed by.. 

14th. I WKNT to port la Tore and preached the same 
evening. From thence I went to port Rosaway and 
preached there until the 20th, when I went to the Ragged 
islands, where I found a dear cLild of God, who very much 
rejoiced at hearing tliC gospel. Some sinners vere like- 
wise awakened, and I enjoyed happy hours in my own soul. 

the happiness of walking with Jesus !• What can be com- 
pared with one moment in his sensible presence ? Lord, 
ever keep nigh to thee, and humble at thy feet. 

22d. I WEKT to Sable river, where 1 found a very dark 
people. I was enabled to labour with them both in public 
and private. , O that they would consider that their preci- 
ous souls might be saved. There were many on that 
shore, that had not heard a sermon for fourteen years 
preached unto them. Only sometimes one of their readei's 
%vould come along and read a sermon to them. O the dark 
miserable state of poor sinners ! What heart that has felt 
the woi th of souls can forbear to weep over them. O Je- 
sus, send thy faithful heralds to labour for their salvation,, 
and bring them to thyself. 

By thine own voice call forth the dead, 

And feed them with immortal bread. 

Take me, O Lord, into thy blessed arms, 
^ And' hold me up to teadi the world thy charms, . 
• O may I bear thy messages of peace 

To wretched souls, till mortal hfe shall cease. 

December \ 1th. I landed at Liverpool, where I found; 

a kind people, but in midnight darkness, and vastly given 

to frolicking, rioting and all manner of levity. When I 

first preached among them, I had but little encouragement. 

1 staid among them until the I5th, when I took a passage 
for Port Midway and Port Levy, where I found great atten- 
tion, and I myself enjoyed happy hours in delivering the 
messajjes of the Lord ; but there was not one that appear- 
ed to have any knowledge of Christ. . nd O how many 
perish after being awakened by restinp: on their awaken • 
ipigs, and take up with conviction for conversion. 

24th,, I RETURNED to PoFt Midway and went up tht; 



1 149 


Falls to the mills and preached there the next d^y. Then 
travelled through the woods to Liverpool, where I preach- 
ed again in different places, and found some little movings 
among the people. Some began to fear their foundation 
to be wrong who had been professors ; and the Lord gav» 
me streng^th and liberty to declare the truths of the gospel ; 
and I told the elders and members of a church that was 
gathered there on a form, my mind of their standing, and 
t*he Lord shook many of them. 

From earthly oharins» O Jesus, set me free, 
^ ' No muster let me serve and know but thee. 

I fain would spend' my life, and in thy naire 
To the wide world thy boundless love proclaim. 
Ja :uARY 1st, 1782. I traveled to the Falls in a vefy 
heavy snow storm, where still' I fonnd souls, whose dis- 
course was chiefly on their lost state,^ and the name of 
the Lord Jesus Christ, while others where opposing and 
despising the grace of God. I preached twice every day, 
and the houses were crowded. M^ny were very much a- 
wakened ; which was such a new thing (neither known nor 
heard of among' them) that many did not' know what ailed ' 
tiiem ; but still thirsted to hear me speak in the name of 
Christ. Many woultl hover around me after sermon, who 
seemed as if they longed to speak to me and unfold their 
ease^ but dared not to open their mouths, for it was new and 
strange to them and to the whole town ; for there never 
Rad been such a talk as a guilty conscience, a burthened 
mind, a hard heart or a stubborn will, or about any convic- 
tions or conversions ; nor of the love of God, or declaring 
what he had done for their souls ; but only if any one had 
(as they say) a desire to be religious, or had lost some re- 
lation by death (which is the cause of great numbers join- 
ing the churches) they go to the minister, and he advises 
them to join the church, Sec. I remained in Livei*pooi and 
preached in different parts by night and day. 

6th. Being Sabbath day I preached two sermons in 
the day ; and at nighf I was asked to preach down to the 
Point. When I came there the house was crowded in eve- 
ry part to a great diegree. And I think I had the greatest 
fi-eedom to argue with them and to entreat them, that lever 
had in the place. My soul was full, and the truths of G«d 
seemed to pour into my mind faster than I could deliver 
them. I had every thing to say to the people, that 1 desired: 



li, ' 

. 'U. 



to, and the hearers were greatly taken hold on, and it seemed, 
they could not go away. Some followed me to my lodging 
and staid their till midnight. I took my leave of them, . 
for I intended to sail away the next day, if the wind proved 
fair, if not I promised them to preach again ; but the wind . 
being fair, I left the place, leaving many of the people in 
tears, O that God may bless them with redemption and ; 
bring the poor mourning souls to Chnst. We went out of 
the harbour, and the wind being fair, we came in three . 
hours to Sable river, where I' had intended to stop. 

8th. I PREACHED at Sable river, discoursed with the 
people, bid them farewell, and then travelled about three 
miles the same evening. 

9th. I ENJOYED some happy moments this day while 
travelling, but my body was almost worn out by the exces- 
aive cold, and the fatigues of travelling, being obliged to go 
round the upints and heads of all the bays. 

1 1th. T STOPPED at the Ragged Isl^d^, and staid and 
preached three .or four days. Here I found some engag- 
ed for the Kingdom, and I was happ^y to spend all the time 
I was there, labouring with them ; and I enjoyed much of 
the presence of the Lord while I was there, O I can say 
I am at home and happy and alt is well, wherever I be, 
when I enjoy the presence of God^ Never, never can I 
express the happiness that I have enjoyed even under the 
greatest fatigues of body.. O my Jesus, thou art all in all. 
14th. I WENT in an open boat to Port Roseway, where 
t staid' and preached until the 17t.h, and then went to Port 
Latore; I stopped there and preached one day. But O 
the darkness and hardness of the people,. 

19th. I TRAVELLRD in the rain to Barrington, and 
preached there and discoursed with the people night and, 
day. There was-a-^reat moving of the Spirit among them, . 
and many were under very heavy convictions ; but they 
seem to hang there, and I cannot say, that there were any 
more than one that was delivered, while I was there. Ma- 
ny seem near the Kingdom, and are continually labouring 
in deep distress, But O that unbelief, that destroys its 
thousands. O that the poor distressed souls might be de-, 
Mvered ! It is a trial to me to leave them, but I must. 

Have pity on them» O thou bleeding Lamb ; 

And let them taste the sweetness of thy name. 

Lord, raise the dead and cause the blind to aec, . 

And let the weary souls find re«t i^ thee. 

Lifts. A3^D JOUUKAL 



Hn I 



I and 
iemj . 

3l5t. I TR WELDED ill Company wltli two men from 
die head of that cape round the sea shore as fur as Coch- 
wit. I think it was the coldest day that ever I travelled in, 
in my life. I was much fatigued, but dared not stop to 
rest, but a few Minutes, for fear of freezing. I often had 
scales of ice on* my face and eyes, for the snow blowed very 
tliick all the day ; but, blessed be God, we got before night 
to a little house, wiiere I found the people vastly kind ; and 
I am sure no earthly palace was ever more agreeable to me, 
t|>an that was. Neither of us was touched with the frost, 
and by the next morning I was able to walk again. The 
two men returned, and the man of the house went with me. 
The severity of the weather was abated, and I had but a- 
bout ten miles to walk that day and came to Pubnico, where 
I preached the same evening, The people seemed to have 
hearing ears, and the man that came with iiae seemed to 
be awakened and sensible of his darkness. 

February 2d. 1 preached early in the morning, when, 
the society seemed all attention, D^d some in great distress 
for their souls. I then travelled with twelve or thirteen in 
company (who followed me to hear the gospel) as far as 
Strawberry Point, where the people were soon gathered; 
said I preached there in the evening, and there were soul* 
that appeared nigh to the Kingdom, and almost all their 
discourse after sermon was, what shall we do to be saved ? 

3d. I PREACHED early in the morning, and then trav- 
elled with men, women and children in company up to the 
head of the bay ; where I had the happiness to find some 
souls born to Christ since I was there,^ who were now ex- 
■- horting others to go to Christ. . 

7th. I TOOK my leave, of the people, out many left me 
with a heavy heart, and travelled with six men in company 
to Chebogue, where was a bitter opposition and many op- 
posers ; especially the minister, whose religion would very 
easily suflRgr hlm^to get in a passion, and call me an impu- 
dent fellow ; which caused me to tell him, that he shewed 
what kingdom he belonged to by his rage and malice. I 
preached in Chebogue and Cape Orsue some days, and 
there appeared an Wakening among mai)y, and some, 
that had stood off and scoffed, began to hear. Some 
of them opent ^ their doors for me to preach at their houses. 
But there were still a number of scoffers, especially at Cape 
Ors(ue. The Lord forgive them and open their eyes, be- 

. m 


- 'i 





I '^% 

i 1 1 

fore the day is over, and they eternally gone. I remained' 
preaching every day and discoursed much (for I had many 
came to see me) until the 19th, when I bid them farewell, 
and rode as fiir as some of the ontskirts of the settlement 
to forward me on my way, and to have the less to walk. 
There came many t© tlie house where I preached in the 
evening, and a happy evening it was to me. I had great 
liberty in addressing thg people in the name of Jesus. 

20th. 1' SKT out to go ©n foot with two men in com- 
pany. Part of the way we could walk pretty free of the 
woods, and part ef the way we v/ere obliged to keep the 
woods. And, blessed l)e God, 1 can. say, a great part of 
the walk was. happy to me.. I once asking a blessing at re- 
fi-eshing ourselves on the beaeh, had such a sense of the 
love of God, that my heart was ready to burst ; and the 
men that were with me, being poor dark souls, knew no- 
thing of my joy and heavenly food ; so I took my morsel 
in my hand, and walked on my journey, rejoicing, leaving 
them to overtake me. G what a peaceful and happy walk 
1 had. I thought the very rumbling of the ocean, an'^ ' 
ing of the surf, spoke for the wisdom of God anc . ,^ ..- 
ness in a most striking language ; and I could say all was 
well, and it was a heaven whenever or wherever I enjoyed 
my God. We travelled 1 8 miles, and then encamped in 
nn old camp in the woods. The next morning we left our 
camp and proceeded, but as there wasmuch snow fallen that 
night, it was more heavy travelling with our snow shoes, but 
nevertheless we got to Martagon^ a French settlement, be- 
fore night. The next meming I hired a French lad to go 
with me and carry my portmanteau as far a» Gi&iboo,. I 
stopped there a few day^ v ith the English people, and saw 
some souls groaning under sin and confessing they knew 
nothing of the new birth, but their cr\' was to be taught, I 
left them with a heavy heart. However, Christ is there, 
and there were some christians there, who I hope will be 
a blessing in the hands of God. I stopped so long there, 
and at Annapolis bason, that I did not get to Annapolis un- 
til the first of March. 

March 1st. When I came there I heard that the 
work was still continuing. I had the happiness to see and 
discourse with a young woman, who was ^* wakened in the 
first of the reformation, who had turned away and joined the 
appears, but was now returned again^ and, I believe, was 



lad many 

to walk. 
;d in the 
rtad great 

n in com- 
ee of the 

keep the 
at part of 
sing at re- 
tise of the 
; ; and the 

knew no- 
i\y morsel 
ng, leaving 
lappy walk 
n, an'' ' 

;ay aU was 
' I enjoyed 
icamped in 
we left our 

V fallen that 

V shoes, but 
kment, be- 
:h lad to go 
Gisiboo.. I 
)le, and saw 

they knew 
; taught. 1 
St is there, 
lope will be 

long there, 
inapolis un- 

rd that the 
IS to see and 
cened in the 
d joined the 
believe, was 

ar new bom soul. O how affecting was the language of 
her humble soul. I rem.uned in Annapolis county about? 
seven days and found the work of God continuing under 
the labour of brother Chipman. I was likewise informed by 
a letter from Cumberland, Uut the Redeemer's kingdom 
was flourishing there. 

8th, 1 WENT tO'Cbrnwallis, staid there but a few days, 
and then went to Horton, Falmouth and Windsor. Mv 
friends received irie as almost one from the dead : for the 
report that I died on Oape Sable shore was so.believed, that 
two of my christian brothers went through to see how it 
was, and to get my writings.. I enjoyed happiness with 
my friends, and happy days until the first of April. 

April 1st. I Set out again for Annapolis, as the 
churches liad agreed that I should" go with delegates from 
the other churches to separate brother Chipman to the 
work v/hereunto God had called him. I stopped and preach* 
ed at Horton and Cornwallis, and then we rode to Annapo- 
lis, stopped and preached to the scattered on the road. And 
a happy ride we had. 

24th. Whe^ the churches were met, and many peo- 
ple, it seemed almost like the day of Pentecost. Some of 
the christians were so carried away, that they were almost 
past speaking. 

25th. The churches met again, and a vast concourse o£ 
people. Brother Pezant preached at 7 in the morning, 
and then a stage was built in a field, where the delegates, 
the candidate and myself stood. I preached a sermon, 
and then dehvered the charge. It was a joyful day to the 
christians. Then we rose up, not to authorise (as manjr 
pretend) but to bear witness and bid God speed to one that 
(iod had authorised and sent forth. There was exhorting 
of sinners and praising of God all night. 

26th. 1 PREACHED again, and then made what speed I 
coikld to Windsor, expecting an opportunity from thence to. 
St. John's river, and about the 2'9th 1 left Windsor for St. 
John's river. Being calm much of the time, it was four 
days before we got to the river ; but blessed be God, I had 
many happy hours on board, and got all the people to at- 
txjnd at prayers, although I do not believe there was a 
christian among them. But I can say, that when I found- 
no one that cQVild talk the language of Sion, Jesus was my 
jojr, strength and qorapanion. O m>; 5QuI, what need J. 

•' ^' 


■ •!'.■■: 

1 1 



■K ' 





When I came to tlie river, the vessel did not go np^ 
that I was in ; but God gave me speed, for there was an- 
other vessel just going over the falls to go up the river, so 
that without the least delay, I crossed Pot-Ash, and went 
immediately on board, and had the happiness to find the 
man that was both master and owner, to be a christian, so 
that I had one to discourse with on the things of the king- 
dom. O the happy hours I enjoyed in my soul at times,, 
blessed be God, I felt myself at home by sea or by land>. 
*ui a wilderness, or any where, when I give my heart to 

O may I speak the goodness of my God, 
And live to spread Iiis gracious fame abroad. 
Let me with joy wear out my mortal days, 
, In tourt'ing sovils to celebrate his praise. 

I REMAINED on the river, preaching from place to 
place among the peopte almost every day, and often twice 
a day until the 26th of May, during which time I had 
happy days and much of the spirit of God moving upon 
among the people. Many of his children, who had been 
long in darkness were delivered, and some sinners were 
brought to God, and constrained to rejoice publicly in the 
love of Jesus. O the sweetness of that love ; the great- 
ness of that joy ; which the soul finds in Ghrist, when 
brought from the borders of eternal despair. As for my- 
self, I went through many trying hours in my mind, but, 
blessed be God,. I was delivered out of them all ; and I 
find that my own unbelief is the cause of all my trials ; 
which some will think strange to hear come from a man, 
who declares he knows the time and place of his conver-^ 
sion, and had enjoyed so many evidences of God's love 
or Christ's love since his conversion. But let it be observe 
cd, that when 1 speak o£ faith, I am still as wide from the 
opinion of the greatest part of the professors of Christianity, 
as the east is from the west. For in the first place some 
have no other faith than what they have from history and 
tradition. They have so often read, and been taught, that 
a certain man named Jesus Christ, who professed to be the 
Son of God, was on earth about seventeen hundred year* 
ago, who suffered and died for all that would believe in^ 
hiir.; that they receive this as a true saving belief, and when 
they have practised sdHfie duties on externals (whith they 
imagine he has left for their rule tp heaven) and haye m* 

/ •* 

t go tips 
ivas ati' 
river, so 
lid went 
find the 
jtian, so 
le king- 
Lt times,, 
oy land,, 
heart to 




place to 

en twice 

le I had 

ng upon 

lad becn- 

ers were 

ly in the 

e great- 

rt, when 

for my- 

nd, but, 

; and I 

trials ; 

a man, 


)d*3 love 


from the 


ce some 

ory and 

rht, that 

o be the 

ed years 

lieve in= 

nd when 

kh they 


^ucd themselves into a belief, that that man satisfied some- 
thing in God (which they call his incensed justice) and ful- 
filled some outward law that was against them, then they 
imagine that all is well, and say, they have faith in Christ ; 
when at the same time they know no more of the new 
birth, and that true faith, which is of the operation of the 
spirit of God, than Simon the Sorcerer : and living and dy- 
ing with no better faith than that, they will as finally be lost 
as God's word is true. O that such people would have 
pity on themselves"; and while they are here acting for a 
vast eternity, examine well what they are doing, and what 
they are building their hopes upon before their dye is cast 
and their loss irreparable. 

Unhappy soul, that doth with full sail go on, 
Feariess till sunk, and his all forever gone. 

But the faith, yea, and the only faith, which I would 
attest to as beneficial to the fallen race^ is that which God 
declares to be the substance of things hoped for. It may 
be observed, that he doth not say, the shadow or represen- 
tation of things hoped for, but the substance. And when 
Christ speaks of true faith, he declares that if a man had a 
spark as a grain of mustard-seed, it would remove the 
mountains and raise the dead (or things of the same na- 
ture.) So that is an infallible truth, that whosoever has but 
one spark of that true faith in exercise, he would feel the ef- 
fects of it, in the removing of sin ; the mountains ot sin, 
which he laboured under ; and in the raising of his dead 
mind from the state ' of death, to a real knowledge and ac- 
tivity in a divine hfe. Therefore, let others believe and say 
what they will of their faith in Christ, and expectation of 
heaven, without this felt knowledge to the soul, 1 utterly 
renounce any pretended faith, hope or confidence for the 
redemption of, or any benefit to the soul, but that. which it 
by the operation ot the Spirit of God ; which removes my 
disorders, scatters my darkness and manifests Jesus Christ 
to my soul at the very time, which gives me a degree of 
the real enjoyments of heaven ; for Chnst is God, Christ is 
life. He is salvation, rest, peace and everlasting joy to all 
his saints : and whenever that word of fal-h is in, it gives 
me liberty, and causes me to rejoice, bows my will, hum- 
bles my heart and bears me away above created good, to 
enjoy and converse with spiritual and eternal things, yea, 
to converse with God within the vail. And it ought to Ixr 



f' ' 

, ; m '■ ii 



•observed 1jy all that profess faith in Christ, that in alinosfe 
all the miracles he wrought, he told them beforehand, 
how far he could help them ; for he would say ; be it unto 
thee according to thy faith ; or even as thou wilt. As if 
he had said, so far as you believe, so far I can help you i 
and therefore be it unto thee according to thy faith. It 
ought also to be observed, that the effect of that fuilh was 
immediate ; the miracle was wrought and f;:lt at the very 
instant that the faith was acted. They did not say, <i3 thou- 
sands of poor dark souls now do under the gospel, 1 have 
faith in Christ ; but it has not pleased God to give ir.e an 
answer yet ; but, say they, I 'have faith that he will answer 
me some time or other : not considering, that iheir faith, if 
true, would bring an answer : for it is by faith that the whole 
is wrought and therefore I must conclude and declare, that 
when there is nothing .ftU nor clone, there is no true fuilh. 
I preached this day to a large number of people in the 
field ; and it beirg the last Sabbath I expected to preach 
to tliem at this visit, I had so much to say to them, and 
^hey seemed so loth to part, that I was a'most spent before 
we parted ; and then 1 went ten miles down the river. 
But after I had refreshed the body, I preached again in the 
evening ; and it was an evening much to be remeTnbtred. 
I preached al)out Elijah's translation, and I had such a 
sense of lii* flight, that I thought I was so bore away in the 
same flight, that 1 tliought 1 should almost leu^e the body. 
O the sweet and ti'ansporting attraction that my soul felt, 
\«rhich carried away the old prophet that, stole in upon my 
heart with unspeakable joy and delight. And methinks in 
a degree I know and luive experienced the nature ixud man- 
ner of his translatioru Yea, never was my soul before so 
bore away t© the realms of eternal feliciiy. I then went 
down the river, but stopped and preaclied in diflercnt pla- 
ces as I went down, then we came to the mouth df the 

29th. I CANNOT but remark the goodness of God in 
ibrwarding me in the way. When I came to the fort at 
the mouth of the river, there appeared no passage fioiu 
thence ; and I thought I could not content myself long in 
that dark place : but tlie very next day four or five vesiseis 
came in, all bound for Cumberland, where I w antt ! to go. 

JvnK Sd. We sailed for Cumberland, and we were 



I alinoafe 
t it unto 
. As if 
]p you ) 
lith. It 
uith was 
the very 
as thou- 

1 have 
i n^.e an 
1 answer 
' faith, if 
;ie whole 
lure, that 
ue fuilh. 
I in the 
> preach 
em, and 
nt before 
he river, 
in in the 
,d such a 
ay in the 
he body, 
ioiil felt, 
Lipon my 

hinks in 
ind man- 
)efore so 
en went 

cnt pla- 
of the 

God in 

fort at 
e from 
long in 
i vesseis 
to go. 
e were 

!?^mctime t^olng for want of wind, but had no distressing 
time at all. 

1. O thou my God, at whose command 
The bellowing oceans rise ; 

And at the moving of thine hand, " ^ ^ 

Again the tempest dies. 

2. O ht tliine arm of pow'p and love 

' My constant helper stand ; , ' 

^ . While o'er the wat'ry grave I rove 
Or tread the desert land. 

3. Or if the gapings of the flood *" 
Should be my wat'ry tomb ; 

May 1 awake with thee, my God, 
And find my peaceful home. 

4. There, where the storms no more shall beaty 
Or bellowing oceans roar, ^ ; 

O let me have my happy seat. 
Thy goodness to «dore. 

6th. We came to Cumberland, where I found somfe 
•christians alive to God ; but some had got into darkness by 
disputing about principles. I preached every day and en* 
joyed much liberty ; and the Lord blessed my labours both 
^o christians and sinners. After I had been in Cumberland 
about a fortnight, I went to Shepody and Petitcodiac. I 
preached often there, and conversed much with the people-, 
and they seemed to have an hearing ear, but no one at that 
time got any deliverance, but the christians were something 
enlivened. When I had been up the river, and had preached 
in almost every village, I returned down the river with 
twelve men in company. We came to a village of Dutch 
people about twelve at night, where I intended to stop and 
preach. The next day 1 preached two sermons and the 
people gave attention, but -were so chained down to the 
form of religion or godliness without the power, and wer» 
so strict in their forms, that it was almost impossible to 
convince them that they were no christians ; or that they 
needed any thing else* But there was a young fnan a- 
mong them, who was brought lo the knowledge of Christ, 
and enjoyed great liberty in hrs mind, who laboured very 
much with this people, but they looked on him as one un- 
vder a delusion . because he told them, that their being baptiz- 
ed and goin^ to the Lord's supper, with all the other forms 
they practised, would not save them, and that they would 
ibe as certainly lost as if they had never practised any of 
5them ; telling them, that they must know what it was to 



. K 



be born again and feel it in their own souls, exclusive of aM 
their externals. O the blindness of the poor wretched race 
of Adam, while in an unrepjenerate state. 

Have pitv on them, O my God, 

Convert them by lliy blessed word : 

O may they live to know thy grace, 

And join thy glorious name to praise. 
1 RETURNED again to Sackfield, in Cumberland, and 
preached there, and the spirit of God was among the people 
with power. 

23d. 1 PREACHED atGreenliill to a great numberof peo- 
ple, and in the afternoon 1 preached in a field near the fort 
in hopes that it might draw some of the soldiers, and there 
were many that attended and some seemed to give great 
attention, but before sennon was over the officers com- 
manded them into tiie fort ; and thus it is with many, thty 
will not enter the kingdom themselves, nor sufler those 
that are entering in, to enter. 

26th. In answer to a request sent me, I met a ntmibcr 
ofbigotted presbytcrians and mountain mm to reason on 
points of doctrine and principles we differed in : a vast con- 
course of peoi>le attended to hear. The presbytcrians and 
mountain men chose three men to speak ; which I consent- 
ed to on this condition that they -should speak but one at a 
time : we discoursed on some points, which I w as desirous 
to do for the sifke of opening the eyes of many of the 
spectators ; but when they found themselves confuted, they 
would not acknowledge it, but gii^w warm, and not only 
two or three of their speakers spoke at once, but also some 
of their society, and they began to cast reproaches and r«- 
flections ; 1 told tliem, they had not only not kept their word, 
but also discovered by their spirit what kingdom they be^ 
longed to. Their passion grew so high, that they broke 
through the croud one at a time and went away. After 
which I preached a sermon to the auditory ; who by the 
discourse and the spirit these people discovered, were many 
of them convinced that the people called n^w^ llg.hts were 
rii>jit, and that they discovered most of the spirit of the gos- 
pel. Indeed I believe, if there were none that disputed a- 
bout the name and the doctrine of Christ, but tliosc that 
had the spirit of Christ, we should not hear one dispute, 
where now we hear ten. I remained in Cumberland, 
preaching to and visifing the people until 

July 6th. Aj?d was often obliged to preach in tl>.e 
^Ws on account of the ^reat concourse ol the people : W^jJ 



many happy hours I enjoyed in proclaiming the name of 
Jcsas. O the life and sweetness of that j«;ospel, when the 
soul is m.ide a partaker of it, and feels it to be the wisdom 
and power of God. I often tiiink what a hard task it must 
be to the poor readers and iiirelings, who know nothing ok* 
this spirit and love to reward and cheer them in their ia-^ 
hours ; and let them pretend to have ever so much religion 
and love for God and for souls ; their love and likewise their 
reward is in their salary, and wordly prospects : nor can 
an unconverted preacher be excited by any higher motive. 
7ch. I uoDE with a number of friends to the Bay Vest, 
intending to go from thence to the island of St. John's, I 
preached there the same day, and my company returned to 
Cumberland. It seemed something hard parting, but wc 
had tliis to comfort us, that we should meet again where 
parting hours will for ever cease. 

9th. I WKM r on board a schooner for the island of S*. 
John's, and we had a quick i)assage. 1 found there very dark 
people, and indeed, most of them openly profane. I preach- 
ed four or five times in the principal towns, where some 
seemed to begin to be fond of hwaring these strange things, 
and others opposed and blasphemed. One evening, when 
at prayer among a number of people,! heard a cursing and 
blaspheming in the room, when I expected soon to be 
struck by them, but God gave me strength to continue 
praying without even looking to see who or what it was ; 
but I heard them go out. After meeting I asked the peo- 
ple who the disturbers were ; they told me it was an oflker 
who came in and drove out some soldiers which were there; 
who began to be something thoughtful, and as he drove 
them out, he damn'd thtm, and swore by God, that that 
fellow (meaning me) would lead them all to hell and dam- 
nation. After I had pi^eached in the town a few days, I 
went back into the country, and at a place called St. Peter's, 
I found two christians, and I had found one in the town. 
These three were the only ones I found on the island. At 
this place the people had some light, and gave great atten- 
tion to the gospel, and the Spiritof God awakened some poor 
sinners to a sense of their danger, and to begin to inquire 
after Christ. I trust the gospel was not sent there in vain. 
O that those awakened souls might not rest until they found 
Jesus Christ their resting place. I returned again to the 
town, and there I preached again four or five times ; and 
that one christian, whom I spcke of b<;fore> was much re« 

M 1 

fu T 



I : 



f 1 



vived, and rejoiced greatly, that ever the gospa] was sciU 
upon that dark, iblaiid. 

23d. About eight in the morning, I left the 
island in a. large two-mast boat, which 1 had hired to carry 
me to the main. We sailed all day and most of the night,and 
got to land a little before break of day, and in a few hours, 
we got to a place called Picto, where 1 had no thoughts of 
making any stay, but finding tlie Spirit of God to attend my 
preaching, I stayed tl.ere thirteen days, and preached in all 
the different parts of the settlement. 1 found four christians 
in this place, who were greatly revived, and rejoiced that the 
gospel was sent among them^ A great number of poor 
sinners were so awakened, that they crowded night and day 
to hear the gospel. Indeed it was hard leaving them, when 
fio distressed and desirous to hear ; but such were my press- 
ing obligations to other places, that I dare stay no longer. 

August 5th. in the morning I took my leave of the 
people, and set out with a young man, who had been with 
me about two months, to go through the woods to Cobc- 
quid ; but not being able to get through, we were obhged 
to lodge in the woods on the ground, with no other shelter 
but the trees, and the., ethereal cuuopy ^ but God was with. 
U5> and all was welL 

O the great goodness of the Lord to me ! 

His hand supports me o'er the boist'rous sea : 
*■ ', Or ifi'm c.ill'd to cross t]»c desert lund, 

lin still protected t} his present hand. 
~ ■ O Jcsiis, melt my lieart witii love divine, 

And lot my days, my life and soul be thine. 
6th. In the morning about eight of the clock we tame 
in to the settlements, and travelled down through the coun- 
try. There were two poor dark ministers there, who in- 
formed the people, that there was a strange impostor from 
the countries up the bay, who they heard was coming a- 
mong them ; who was neither college learned, nor authoriz- 
ed by the presbytery. He was anpw light, he ^\as a separ- 
atist, and one that broke up their churches. The poor dark 
people (most of them) conceived such an opinion of me, 
that they would gaze at me, as I passed their doors, with 
as much strangeness, as if I was one the antediluvians ; 
and when 1 came down to the public house I was even re- 
fused a bed or a room for any money. I sent then the 
young man that was with me, to another public house, and 
when they heard my name, they likewise refused to tak«- 
me in. The young man returned, and found me walking 

was sent 

left the 
d to carry 
night, and 
ew hours, 
oughts of 
attend my 
:hed in all 
;d that the 
r of pooF 
lit and day 
lem, when 
my press- 
ve of the 
been with 

to Cobc- 
t obhged 
ler shelter 
i was witk 



we came 
he coun- 
who in- 

stor from 

oming a- 

a separ- 

:)oor dark 
of me, 

orsj with 
luvians ; 
even re- 
hen the 

)use, and 
to take- 


in the street, and told me, that he believed I must lie in the 
street all night ; I replied I could do it without reluctance for 
the name of Christ. At length there was a poor old man, 
who said he would willingly receive me, if he had a bed fit 
for me to sleep^ in, but did not like to receive me, because 
he was so poor, but he directed the young man where to 
find a house, he believed i might get entertainment in ; 
but when he went there, the man at first refused, saying he 
had heard of me, and did not like to receive me, or any sucli 
man as I was, into his house : yet after some discourse 
(when the young man told him that it was hard, that a man 
could not get a lodging for any money, where they called 
themselves christians) the man said he would let me have 
a room and a bed, and sent for me to come. When I came 
there, he led me through the house to my room, and the 
people looked on me as if I had some distemper, that was 
catching. However they soon began to shew more free- 
dom, and some of them hearing me sing, knocked at the 
door, and asked me if they might come in and hear mc 
sing; I replied yes, if they thought it was safe for them. 
For their conceptions had been, that there was danger of 
being caught with that spiritj that I went about with. But 
the people began to be free, and the man of the house called 
me out, and desired me to pmy in his family, and numbers^ 
of people came in^ However my design was to deliver my 
message as far as I was able, if it was in the street (if there 
was no door opened) before 1 1 t the place. But the third 
day I was there I was desired by a poor man to preach at 
his house. I appointed to preach there at four o'clock in 
the afternoon. The minister of that part of the country, 
hearing thereof, wrote me a note, demanding to meet hint 
and his elders at such a tavern at four o'clock, to give them 
a!i account, what right I had to appear in the capacity of a 
preacher of the gospel. I wrote him an answer, informing 
him, that although I should be glad to meet him and his 
elders, yet was suiprised, that he should make such a de- 
mand ; as for the hour he had appointed, 1 could not meet 
him at that time, for I had promised to appear there in pub- - 
lie. At four 1 preached and a great number of people at- 
tended, so that the house could not contain them. After I 
had preached I received a second note from the minister, 
desiring me to meet him that evening. I returned him for 
^ answer, that I was then in company, neither was it thtn^ 





a- proper time ; but if he would be at the place, he had appoint- 
ed, the next morning at nine o'clock, that I would meet him 
then there. T met them accordingly, and a number of the 
people. I told them I was then ready to answer any ques- 
tions they should, ask me, either the minister, elders or 
deacons ; and that I should expect to have the same liberty 
allowed me, to ask them some questions : for since I was 
sent for and knew the strange conceptions many had, and 
how many were kept in darkness, I was determined, if God. 
gave me strength, to discover where the darkness was, and 
if it was in me. We then began, and continued for about 
three hours *, on the call aud qualifications of a minister ; 
the door into the ministry ;. the power of ordination •: and 
original sin. At which some of them got so fettered with 
their own darkness, that they left the room. The minister 
likewise got up and broke off from tha discourse. But the 
eyes of the people began to be opened, for after it was donq, 
the man with whom I boarded, being present, declared they 
were satisfied, and that now they saw and were astonished at 
what prejudice and false reports had done- And from that 
hour I had more houses open to me than I could supply. 
Thus the enemies of Christ, by theii' endeavouring to shut 
the door against the gospel, were the means of opening it. 
I PREACHED three or four days in Truro, and then 
crossed the river to Onslow where I preached. 1 not only 
preached often, but discoursed also with the people, whO' 
often filled my room, and staid until twelve at night, impa- 
tient to hear the name of Jesus, and what they mu st do to 
be saved. One man, who was before a member of one of 
those churches, was convinced and converted : but there 
■were yet many of the pharisees opposing the work, and la- 
Jt)ouring to turn away the people from the faitli. 

20th, I SET out with some company to leave that part 
and proceed down the bay, but was obstructed by a sudden 
turn of illness, which seized me in a moment, and they laid 
me on a bed, so I was detained that week by my illness. 
But, blessed be God, I recovered strength, so that I was a- 
ble to preach on Satuwlay and likewise on the Sabbath day ; 
when the house was filled with people from eleven in the 
moring until twelve at night, and there were but a few that 
were not under some movings of the Spirit. O the infinite 
goodness of my God and master to the sons of men, and t© 
nie his poor unworthy servant. He is my Uiider and my 
itrength j my joy and my resting pl^e. 



i appoint* 
neet him 
er of the 
Jiy ques- 
ilders or 
le hberty 
ce I was 
had, and 
Id, if God. 
was, and 
or about 
ninister ; 
ion .; and 
red with 
But the 
^^as dono, 
ired they 
nished at 
from that 
i supply. 
^ to shut 
ning it. 
and then 
not only 
•pie, whO' 
It, impa- 
1 St do to 
fone of 
It there 
and la- 
hat part 
hey laid: 
was a- 
ith day ; 
in the 
ew that 
, and t0 
nd mjfi 

Where'er I rovA, while here below , * 

My Christ is all the joy 1 know. 
Mvj leads me, when thru' glooms I tread, 
And whea discourug'd lifts my head. 
O let me stilV his love proclaim, 
While I with mortals bear a name. 
27th. I RODE with sjvoji or eight in company td a* 
9-m.dl village where I preached. Alter which the minister 
of Londonderry (wlio had rod^ twenty miles, to get the 
diors shut against ni^i, but cam;i too late) began immediate- 
ly, being in a great rwige, to rail at me ; which caused all 
tiie people, bcia^ surprised, to stop, and not leave their 
places. I told him h;; was like the man, who was among 
tiie tom^is, cutting hinvself ; for that spirit he was of would 
torment him ; and that 1 shoLild not enter iiito one argu- 
ment with him, until that spirit was chained or cast out. I 
likewise told him, that his own spirit and conduct discover- 
ed what kingdom he was of and belonged to, I then said 
no- more, the p;iople likewise were all silent, but the minib- 
ter continued his rage and throwing reflections, until he 
found that I would not answer him, and then he sat still, 
and endeavoured to lay a restraint upon himself. At length, 
speaking something more mildly, he told me, he did not 
like my principles. I asked, him to point out any of them 
in particular, and I would discourse with him about it. 
Then one error he pointed out, was original sin j as I held 
it, that all mankind were really guilty in Adam, and there- 
fore the word imputation never need to be used in that mat- 
ter ; for how could that be imputed to a man, which he was 
guilty of himselL But he held that God was making souls 
now in these days, and made a soul for every body, when 
the body was once conceived in the womb, and after he 
makes the soul and sends them into the bodies, he imputes 
Adam's guilt to them. And thus he declared that thousands 
and thousands of souls that were made pure and innocent, 
were under eternal condemnation for a sin which was com- 
mitted thousands of years before they had any being. How- 
ever, I was enabled to discover the inconsistency of such a 
principle before his people, and many were convinced. The 
next point we discoursed on v/as election. Hf. declared 
that God fore -ordained whatsoever comes to pas&, which I 
soon proved to be impossible ; for God could neither be the 
autlior of sin nor decree a thing against his own nature 
The third point we discoursed on was God*s incarnation. 
And when he declared his sentimentj it was strange even 

, i'i 




I.; ■ 

to his own people anr\ church, that were present : and that 
v/as that God made Christ, And when I did insist that he 
should give out his own sentiments, or else he had no right 
to oppose others, I asked him what God made Christ of: 
he said, that his body was made of the elements (which I 
did not oppose) but that his soul was made out of nothing. 
Out of nothing, I replied, why then he may return to no- 
thiug. Besides, if that be the case, then he is but a crea- 
ture, which once was nothing, and is this the Christ you 
worsliip, and expect to worship forever ? I then told him 
the Saviour I worshipped was the eternal Son of God, and 
that God had declared that the Word was God, and that the- 
Word was made flesh, and that that very infant that was 
born, was declared to be the everlasting Father, the Prince 
of Peace, and therefore he was not a created man, but God 
manifest in the flesh. And then 1 told him that I believed 
his people never knew before now, that their mipister be- 
lieved tiiat Christ was made out of nothing ; and that I was 
glad, he had discovered himself. He then rose up in a pas- 
sion ?,nd left the house,. The people staid and heard it all, 
and many began to get their eyes opened to see where the 
darkness was ; and entreated me to visit them again, if pos- 
sible. After this t rode down to the lower settlements, and 
preached amongthem* I.then went in a boat to Partridge 
Island, where I found a schooner, and went in her to Horton. 
September l«t. I came to Horton and preached 
three sermons the same day. The next morning I preach- 
ed again at'sun-nse ; and a blessed morning it was to many. 
Some, who had been long in bondage, were delivered . 

.O J,csu9; give me strength divine, 

To spread this lovely name of thine. 
While mortal life remains ; 

Then shall I make thy name my song-j ^ v 

Amongst the blest immortal throng, ' 

In heav'n's exalted strains. 
Sd. I RODE to Falmouth, found my friends well, and 
enjoyed happy days with them in the love of Jesus. I 
went also to Windsor and Newport ; preached often in 
both places, conversed much with the people there, and 
fourd some still pressing on for the immortal prize. And 
after I had been there c^ while, I went to Horton and Corn- 
wallis, where I, often preached eai-ly in the morning, and 
was rejoiced to see how the people would crowd to meeting 
so soon and so early in the morning. O the sweet hours 
that. 1 have enjoyed, proclaiming my master's love to th* 



fcimgry souls. I remained in Cornwallis, preaching tv^icci 
and sometimes three times a day, until the lust day of Sep« 
tcmber ; when 1 went to Annapolis, where I preached of- 
ten and saw blessed days. Many of the people of God 
seemed to live much of their time on the Mount. O the 
happiness of living near the Lord Jesus Christ ! After I 
had met the church, and pueached through all the county 
of Annapohs, 1 set out in company with brother Chipman, 
a servant of Christ, to go to Cape Orsue. We stopped and 
preached at Annapolis bason, and likewise at St. Mary*B 
b-iy, where I found some souls converted, since I was there 
last. We then rode on our way, were obliged to lay one 
night in the woods, where it rained all night. When we 
came to the settlements, we preached every day, and saw a 
>vork of God among the people there. Some brought out 
from deep distriisa, to joys unspeakable and full of glory. 

the glorious and joyful light to see souls come out of 
midnight darkness rejoicing in God, and shouting forth the 
\vonders of his love. 

October 13. Brother Thomas Handley Chipman 
parted from me, and took passage for the river St. John*s,as 
we had designed the first opportunity presenting.. I re^ 
mained ♦lu'ee or four days preaching in those parts; and 
then went to Argyle ; where the people v/ere so engaged, 
that almost all in the place both old and young attended 
night and day ; and the Spirit of the Lord wrought with 
such power, that many were constrained to cry out in the 
mcieting ; some with joy, and others in the deepest dis- 
tress of soul. I preached there early and late ; until about 
the 2Jd. I preached in the evening, after which about IQ 
o'clock at night, 1 went on board a large boat to go dowa 
to Harrington. God favoured and forwarded me with 
wind and weather, antl we got to Cape-Island before day- 
break. I preached every day in difi'erent parts of Bar- 
rington, and there *>4)peared much moving among sinnera> 
and inquiring after Christ, but none evidently dehvered. 
As fpr my own travels, they were changeable. Some- 
times I was rejoicing in the Lord, and strong in his Spirit ; 
but at other times I was under great trials of mind, and 
many times remarkably delivered from my bondage. 

'Tis unbelief that keeps me down so low, 

1 And is the cause of all my grief and woe. 

When I believe, I feel all trials move ; , 

Tken I can triiiniph t»» my maitcr's luvG. 







AfTER I had preached awhile in Barringlort, I wferit^ 
through tlie woods with six men in company to the upper 
Cape Negro ; where I preached two or three days, found 
the people attentive, and found one christian among them ; 
then 1 went through with some company to Port Rosaway, 
wliere I likewise found some movings of the Spirit of God ; 
but the poor souls lingered, and none appeared to give up 
all to Christ.' O that the;, may not linger, until their day is 
over. Have mercy on them, O my God, and shak« them off 
from all their hopes, and bring them to give up all to thee. 
O Jesus, send by me thy lore, 

To bring poor souls to thee ; 
Let mourners feel their (^ lilt remove. 
And taste thy grace wiih me. 

" I THEN went to the Ragged Islands, where I hope 
some have been brought to taste the love of Jlsus. There 
1 preached and enjoyed happy days.- All their discourse 
while 1 staid there was about Jesus and his love. When 
1 left that place, I went with four or five in company, who 
Were thirsting after th© gospei.- The people at Sable Ri^ 
Ter gave attention, but in general it is a very dark people. 
I believe there were some ot them awakened, and 1 hope 
will not rest till they have the Lord Jesus Christ. 

November 20th. I went to Liverpool in an open boat; 
the wind was fair, but being considerably high, we had like 
to have filled in the midst of the breakers at some distance 
from the land. Both the irons of the rudder broke, and the 
rudder was gone in a moment, but the hand of God was with 
us, and the boat did not turn till we got out an oar, and then 
continued to run before it till we had reached the harbour. 

Lord, may such favours-of thine hand, 
Awake my heart to love, 
*' And lead me still 0*er sea or land, ^' 

While thro* this world I rove. 

When I came to Liverpool, I had the happiness to 
meet' a number of my friends on the wharf, who informed 
me of the glorious work of God, that had appeared ever 
since I left them, and was stilf going on in the place. The 
minister, whom they had tried often to get removed en 
account of his hard drinking, was so enraged against hi» 
people for their holding up separate meetings, that he dt- 
sired a dismission, rather expecting that it would be the 
means of their returning to him, ' and that when the trial 
came they would not dismiss him. But the people em- 
braced the opportunity, and gave him his disnussion j 




which seemed to open the way still more for the work 
of God, as he wusa great opposer. Almost all the town 
assembled togethrr, and some that were lively christians 
prayed and exhorted, and God was there with a truth. I 
preached every day, and sometimes twice a day ; and the 
houses where I went were crowded almost all the time. 
Many were brought out t)f darkness and rejoiced, and ex- 
horted in public. And O how aifecting it was to see some 
young people not only exhort their companions, but also 
take their parents by the hand, and entreat them for their 
soul's sake to rest no longer in their sins, but fly to Jesus 
.Christ while there was hope. One young lad (who turned 
out to be a very bright christian) I saw, after sermon, take • 
his father by the hand, and cry out, O father, you have 
been a great sinner, and now are an old man : an old sin- 
ner, with grey hairs upon your head, going right down to 
destruction. O turn, turn, dear father, return and fly to 
Jesus Christ : with jnany other such like expressions and 
entreaties, enough to melt a stony heart. The work of 
God continued with uncommon power through almost all 
the place. But the small number that did not fall in with 
the work were raging and scoffing, and some blaspheming. 
A man, who «at one evening near under the pulpit, looked 
up, as I was delivering the truths of the gospel of the Lord 
Jesus Christ, and cried out, that is damned foolishness. I 
looked upon him, and charged him to cease, and likewise 
to remember wh?t his doorn would be, that dares to blas- 
pheme the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ ; and he wa« 
awed to silence, and said no more. O that he and othef 
such might yet return before their day is over, and they . 
eternally ^one 1 

December 2d. I took a passage to Petit-Riviere, 
where I preached every day, but none came out in the lib- • 
erty of Christ'r. children, though many seemed to be awak- 
ened. I then went witli five or six in company to Male- 
gash, where I preached the short time I staid there. But 
O the darkness of that people 1 Almost all of them are set- 
tled on a form of religion, but are strangers and enemies to > 
the power of it. There were however some awakener $ 
and began to enquire after Christ ; the others raged, and 
opposed publicly. I returned and stopped again at Petit- , 
Riviere, and then went to Pott Midway, where I found' 
«ome souls awakened, p.nd ca^'iiestly inquiring what tliey 
shall do to be saved. () Lord J-'oiiti Christ, deliver them by V 




' t;H 


thy Spirit, and give the poor unhappy souls rest. But &h 
thou art willing, and it is their own wills and unbelief that 
keep them in the dark, and bar them all *'rom thy love, 

those fatal bars of unbelief . I What crowds are eternally 
ruined thereby. For because of unbelief, they could not 
enter in. 

December 24th. I came again to Liverpool, wher« I 
found the people still vastly engaged in religion, and pres- 
sing into the kingdom : and almost all their discourse was 
about the wretched state of man, and the glorious recovery 
by Jesus Christ ; and many rejoiced, as it were, in a new 
world ; and I would hear exhoi'tations after every sermon, 
inviting others to taste, and see that God was gracious. 

January 1st, 1783. Iwetjt on board of a schooner, 
to go to Halifax, promising to i-eturn again, if God per- 
mitted. When I came there, I preached in different parts 
of the town, and have reason to believe, that there were 
two or three souls that received the Lord Jesus Christ. 
But the people in genei'al are almost as dark and as vile as 
in Sodom. Lstaid tliere about ten days, and returned 
again to Liverpool, where I still found the waters troubled, 
and souls stepping in.» O the happy days which I there 
enjoyed, not only in my own soul, but to see the kingdom 
of God flourishing. When I went to preach at the meet- 
'4ng-house, at the hour appointed, the people were crowding 
to hear ; and when the sermon was over, I was obliged 
to stop many hours in the broad-alley, to discourse with the 
people ; for it seemed as if they could not go away. While 

1 was there this last time, the christians gatheied together 
in fellowship, by -telling their experierecs and gettirg fel- 
lowship one for another ; and so joined in a body, separat- 
ing themselves from the world, 

February I7th. I left Liverpool, stopped and preach- 
ed at Port Midway, Petit-Riviere, Lehave and Malegash. 

1. O God,. may I directed be, . ' '' 
While here, to follow none but ibee. ^ 

Be this iry tbeire, where'er I rove, 
To tell the world of Jesus love. 

2. Then when this mortal life shall cease, 
, I shall awake in realms of peace ; 

Where I with my dear God shall be ; ' ' u * 

And give the glory, Lord, to thee. \\ ■ 

27tli. I SAILED from Malegash to Halifax, where 1 
staid and preached until the 13th day of March, and thc« 
J. set out for the country, where I found my friends well. 



sf that 

Id not 

iher« I 

1 prts- 
se was 
c every 
a new 

d per- 
il parts 

2 were 

vile as 











and the christians growing in strength and ahve to God. O 
the liappy hours which 1 enjoyed there, when Jesus was 
among us of u truth. I went and preached in the dificrent 
towns until 

March 26th. Being then at Windsor, I was takerk 
so ill, that my life was despaired of ; but blessed be God, 
I was so blessed with divine strength, that I was enabled to 
triumpli over deatli and the grave. And by 

April 1st, I was so far recovered, that I rode as far 
as Horton, after which the illness of my body increased. 
But O the happy hours which I enjoy tid, even when my 
life was almost exhausted. Jesus was my joy, my life, 
my strength, my all. O what shall I or can 1 say of such 
great and most infinite goodness ol tlie Lord. 

In Christ I triumph over death and hell ; 
In death I lire ; in sickness I am well. 

I REMAINED apparently on the confines of the grave, 
and it was thought by almost every one, that I should scon 
quit this mortal stage. But as for my own mind ; under 
the greatest symptoms of death, I still retained a hope 
that I should yet go out again in the name of Jesus to poor 
perishing sinners ; which was all I desired health for. 
Yea, and oftentimes when I was triumphing over death 
and the grave, my soul was in a divine rajnure, with no 
more doubt, that if I departed, I sho'uld awake in glory, 
than I doubted that there was a state of glory : yet so 
great was my thirst to spread the kingdom of Christ, and 
l)e the means of bnnging precious and immortal souls to 
him, that I longed far more to return, even if 1 went 
"through ever so many difficulties and troubles, than to de- 
part and go. O how 1 thirsted for a lew more days to go 
^ut with Jesus with me, to bring poor starving souls to the 
courts of his grace, that they might for ever sha'e v/ith 
"me in the wonders of his love. After I had been iu Hor- 
ton a while, I seemed to regain a, little strength, when niy 
' friends urged me to ride to Falmouth, winch I did, and 
still remained very ill in the body, but had happy days ia 
my mind. I spoke every Sabbath a few words in public, 
which were greatly blessed. I had christian company all 
the time, and the na*me of Jesus was all our theme : and 
indeed we enjoyed happy days. Almost every day I re- 
covered strength again of body so astoridc to?Iorton, where 
I preached, and the people attended in great numbers, 




hi ■ 



But my disorder was flattering and changeable. I was very 
ill agaiH) so that many of my friends gave me over for 
death. However I was continued through the goodness of 
God, and I never lost my senses in all my sickness, j 
rode to Falmouth again with company to help me. I re- 
mained very ill, and sometimes in the greatest racks and 
anguish of body, that could be endured, but I think I can 
say, God gave me so much strength to endure it, that I was 
never heard to groan under all my pain. And indeed I 
look on it not only a sin, to give away to groaning and re- 
pining under trials, sickness or pains, but it has a tenden- 
cy likewise to increase the trials and augment the dis- 
eases : when on the contrary 1 firmly believe, that if the 
christians endeavour to throw their sickness and pain out 
of their minds, and to keep their minds soaring above, fix- 
ed on the Lord Jesus Christ, and contemplating divine 
truths, and the state of their souls, it would not only enable 
them in a great measure to triumph over the fear of death 
and the grave, but in some degree repulse the rage of the 
disorder. Yea, and when enjoying a present Christ, it even 
lifts them up above the sense of their pains; Besides, I 
have this to say, that if any one enjoys the love and the life 
ot God in their souls (while sick in body) they can'^ot find 
heart, time or cause to groan under, or ponder on their 
bodily distempers and pains. And 1 am sure, if they do 
not feel and enjoy the life and the love of God in their souls 
in such trying hours, they have really a thousand times 
more reason to ponder on, and groan under the miserable 
state of their souls, than the pain and disorder of the body : 
ior the soul, which is the essential part of the man, stands 
in far the greatest need of help. 1 remained in Falmouth 
with my friends, and was very happy to find the christians 
so much alive too as they were. And as for my own part, 
blessed be God, I never enjoyed so great a sense of divine 
things, and the presence and love of God, for the length of 
time, since I knew the Lord, as when I was sick. Surely 
I can say that Jesus was my all, and my life in the midst of 
death. He was to me as the shadow of a great rock in a 
weary land. Often did he cause me not only to triumph o- 
ver death and the grave ; but to forget my pains, and to lose 
the sense of my sickness. 

Thefullo'iaivg are ajeiv lines, that lurote one morning at that time. 
L Ye Pilgrims, bound to perfect bliss, 
Your Saviour's goodnes» teU : 


as very 
i^er for 
ness of 
ess. I 

I re- 
:k8 and 
k I can 
It I was 
deed I 
md re- 
he dis- 
L if the 
lain out 
»ve, fix- 
j divine 
r enable 
af death 
; of the 
, it even 
asides, I 
the life 
'^.ot find 
on their 
they do 
iir souls 
»d times 
le body : 

al mouth 
wn part, 

:ngth of 

midst of 
)ck in a 
amph o- 
d to lose 

bat time. 





If he Is yours, and you are his, 
Rejoice, for all is well. 

2. You've found the only stream of joy, 
Wliere solid pleasures dwell : 

Tho' hell may rage, and earth aanoy, 
Christ lives and all is well. 

3. When foes invade, you mount above ^ 
To joys unspeakable, 

, . Your trials swcet'iwd al! with love, / 

Then surely all i» well. • 

4. Sinners may lose their greatest joy, 
And find their Dagon fell : 

But nothing can your lives destroy ; 
Then sing, for all is well. 

5. Christ is your joy, your life and peacc^ 

There all your treasures *lwell. « 

Let ev'ry other helper cea&e. 
He lives, and all is well. 

6. Mount, my triumphant soul, abov* 
This cold, this gloomy celt. 

Long as I feel immortal love, 
I must say, all is well. 

7. I'd ever live, where Jcsui reigns. 
And never more rebel : 

'^ And soon on heaven's immortal plaint, 

I'll shout, ah all is well. 

I STILL seemed to regain some strength, but very 
slowly, and as I bad promised, and was determined to go 
to New-Englsmd this summer (if God pleased) I thought, as 
low as I was, I would attempt it. And when some of mv 
fi'iends told me, that I was very imprudent to undertake 
such fatigue* in my very low state of health, and that they 
imagined I was in a consumption, I told them, that if I 
knew that to be my case, it would urge me the more on, 
for I never desired, nor intended;, if God gave me strength, 
to yield up to sickness, or the bed, as long as I could possi- 
bly help it, and therefore, as I had preached almost all over 
this country, if I was in a consumption, I would go and 
proclaim my Master'^s name, where I never had preached, 
as long as I could riJe or stand, if it was even to the last 
expiring breath. Which determination I still feel, if God 
be with me, and give me strength. 

Accordingly on the 27th of August I left Windsor 
to go to New-England. It was something hard parting 
with vast numbers of my friends, who gave way too much 
to nature : but some did so triumph over the flesh and 
self, that they bid me go in the name of the Lord, telling 
pie that souls were as precious in one place as another. 






My af^ed parents, who set too much by mc, and I often 
loiind it hard for one to leave them, when I was well, were 
alive to (iod, and engaged for the good of souls, that they 
seemed to get above llie affections and weakness of nutuiT, 
ami tcld nie, that although my heultli was so very low, yet 
they never parted with me so easily before, and ulthougli I 
was so lov, tliey had faith to believe, that 1 should be yet a 
blessing to some souls, before my departure out of the bo- 
dy, saying that if I went and wore out my days in the eause 
of Christ, and was the means of bringing any poor souls 
into his kingdom all was well ; if they never should see my 
face more in time. It gave me great satisfaction to see 
them so strong in the Lord, as to overcome the affections 
'of nature, and that far U .ter love and affections reigned in 
their place, the heavenly and divine love in Christ, who had 
made us one in the bands of everlasting love in such a man- 
ner, that distance of body, nor death itself can ever separate.. 
Go with me. Lord, where thou wouldst have me go, 
And give me strength tJie gospel trump to blow. 
Bring home poor dinners, O my God, by me. 
To sound thy fame, and ever reign with thee. 

August 27th. I left Windsor. The vessel sprurg- 
her mast, so that we were obliged to put into St. John's i i- 
ver for a new one. I preached once while I was there ; but 
U was hard preaching to such hardened, careless hearers. 

September 7thc We left Fort Howe on St. John's 
river ; but the \ 'nd not being fair, the voyage was tedious 
for me, who was very low in body still.. But God's provi- 
dence was such, that a head wind caused us to go into Jones*- 
river ; when I told the captain, that I would leave the vessel, 
buy a horse and get along by land ; which turned out very 
■well, for I found a far larger country than I expected so far 
east. I staid and preached a few days in Bristol among a 
vt ry dark people ; but some were awakened under the gos- 
pel, and began to inquire after Jesus Christ. 

1 5th. I WENT with three men, that bore me company, 
to Booth -bay, where I staid andpreac\'?d about a week. I 
likewise found the gospel to take hold of some, and some 
that were awakened at Bristol, came over to every sermoa 
that I preached in Booth-bay : and even some women with 
children in their arms travelled on foot. So great was their 
desire to hear.. 

22d. I RODE about four miles wHh \v dliam Mecola, 
Esq. (with whom I had boarded) wheie I stopped at one 
Colonel Emerson's, and preached there, the ne:.t day tQ.,» 




'. often 
1, were 
vt they 
w, yet 
oui;!^ I 
c yet a 
the bo- 
e tause 
r souls 
see my 
to see 
|:!;ncd in 
ho had 
a nian- 

sprur g- 

hn's 1 i- 

re; but 







ut very 

d so far 

Tiong a 

le gos- 

ek. I 
n with 
s their 

at one 

y ta.» 


p-eat number of people. They seemed muc^ alarmed by 
the gospel, and some so awakened, that I trust they will 
never rest, until they have foimd Christ. O that they 
might once be brought to an union with Christ, without 
which there is no safety or happiness. 

24th. I RODE with Col. Emerson, who accompanied 
me up the river, intending to goto the ferry at Sheep's (iut 
that night. But when I came to sec so many inhabitants 
on Amesscotty, I told him that my mind was not easy, to 
go by them ; L therefore stopped and preached on both 
sides of the river, and trust it was not in vain ; for some 
christians were greatly revived, and some sinners much a- 
wakened. O that they might never rest until they find the 
true rest. Lord Jesus, have mercy on their poor burdened 
souls, that are wandering in a wilderness and know thee not. 

29th. I RODE over* to the other river, and the next day 
I preached there, and, blessed be God, I trust, it was not in 
vain : and seeing the people so engaged, made me stay 
longer and preach again , when I still saw some more mov- 
ings amongst the people ; though many were very much 
hardened. I endured vast pains and anguish of body al- 
most every day, and was many times scarcely able to 
preach ; but I endiwed it without much complaining, for I 
enjoyed health of soul, and was very happy at times in the 
Lord Jesus Christ. But as I had just got into that part of 
the vineyard, and saw the fields as it were white unto the 
harvest, 1 had intended (if Providence permitted) to blow 
the gospel trumpet through that vast country, and I could 
not bear the thoughts of leaving the world ; although I was 
happy and had not the least doubt of ray salvation : for I 
longed more than tongue can express, to be the means of 
bringing some of those poor souls to the Lord Jesus Christ. 

October 5th. I preached at Sheep's Gut, and saw 
much moving of the Spirit of God. Indeed some were in 
such distress, they could hardly contain themselves. O that 
God might bring them to himself? 

Monday morning-the Selectmen of the town sent me 
a request for to stay longer ; but I could not find it my du- 
ty, being under pressing obligations to visit other parts, 
that stood in as great a need, and yet it was hard :o leave 
the poor awakened sinners. 

Monday I went to an island called Squam, where 
tiiere had been a work of God; and I found some lately 




l(:!| if 

I . 

born to Christ. But O how common it is in a time of re- 
vival, for many to be deceived, fend to take up with some- 
thing short of Christ. I remained in Squam until Satur- 
day, and then rode to Woolwich, where I preached on the 
Sabbath, and saw much of the power of God. But O how 
apt are young chnstians to be led astray, being so fond of 
every thing that appears like the power of God, that they 
receive almost any thing that has a zeal, not considering, 
that when God is at work, that then is the time for the de- 
vil to covmterfeit. I heard men exhori, that had nothing 
of the Spirit of Christ, but many of the christians thought 
them certainly right, because they Seemed to have a great 
zeal. I love to see preachers zealous, yea, and I believe, if 
they have the spirit of God, which brings meekness, love 
and humility with the zeal, and solemnizes the person 
speaking, it will not be all ovei" as soon as they have done 
speaking in public, but will go Wxth them : when those 
who have nothing but a spirit of self, and a false zeal, will 
appear to speak light and airy, and lifted up, and v/hen hav- 
ing been in a great zeal^ it will be soon over, and have no 
solemnizing sense abiding, but grow careless and light, and 
easily and soon lead,, or be led into vanity and sin. 

Monday, I rode about three miles, and then preached 
to a small number that were living christians ; though 
there were sinners among them, yet it was easy preach" 
ing and a happy day it was to many. 

October 16th. I preached at Bath, and the next 
day rode over to Brunswick, where I staid three days, and 
found son\e sincere christians, but not much moving among 
sinners. O the wretched state of careless sinners ! My 
heart aches for them, and fain would be a means of help- 
ing them ; but what shall I say, or what can be done for 
tliem? The spirit of God' doth labour with them, and be- 
seeches them, and if they reject that, what^ O what can 
^ help them ? 

21st. I RODE down to Harrislcket, where the people 
were almost all in a deep sleep with hardly a form of reli- 
gion. 1 was so ill, when I first got there, that I was scarce- 
ly able to ride ; but I appointed a lecture, and when I came 
to sp.ak, God gave me strength, and the people great 
attention. The Sabbath following, I saw so much of a 
moving among the people, that I was greatly encourage^, 
and concluded to stay another week : I preached lectures 
on the week-days, and had the happiness to see some cf- 






< 5 

of re- 



)n the 

3 how 

bnd of 

t they 


he de- 




ieve, if 

>s, love 


^e done 

1 those 

al, will 

m hav- 

lave no 

^ht, and 


le next 
lys, and 
i ! My 
f help- 
one for 
ind be- 
lat can, 

:)f reli- 
I came 
e great 

h of IK 

ne ef- 




fects of the gospel. There were two that I believed re- 
ceived Christ, and could tell of his love ; and others were 
groaning under a sense of their danger, while out of Christ.. 
I hid a great desire to, stay longer v>vth them, but thought 
it my duty to proceed. Othat God would out of his love 
and power carry on the work in those mourning souls I 

I STAID there until the 3d day of November, and: 
preached among the people, and I have reason to hope that 
it was not in vain, for there were some that I discoursed ; 
with after sermon, that manifested some movings in their 
minds ; biit the people in general were settled down on a 
form of religion, and some not even on that, but all at 
peace, and but here and there one among a great crowd 
of professors that know any thing of the v/ork of God in 
their souls. O the shocking and irretrievable loss they will, 
meet with when tliis poor miserable life is at a period. 
They go sleeping to. the gi^ave, with an expectation of 
awakening in heaven, when they have that nature in them, 
in their own souls, that will be a hell to them for ever : and . 
this is the shocking mistake, that thousands make a de- 
pendance upon Ciod to save them, and to keep them out of 
hell, and beg that they may not go so hell, but do not think . 
' of their being already in hell, nor make it their concern to 
have their naturesx:hanged from that nature of hell, to the 
nature of heaven* 

3d. I RODE to the tov/n below, where I preached ; and! 
I think they were the most careless, hardened people, that 
I had found on that eastern shore ; Lord what will their 
end be ! O that they might consider and be awakened be- 
fore their day is over ! I then went to New-Casco, wl^ere 
I preached, luid the people gave great attention, and there 
began to be some movings. I staid and preached there 
some days. The minister of the place was very free, and i 
rejoiced to see some movings among his people. 

On Wednesday the 1 2th, I preached at a wedding, . 
and had the happiness thereby to be the means of exclud- 
ing carnal mirth ; and the young people seemed more fond 
after sermon of gathering round about me to hear me dis- 
coursing on religion, and to give them advice, than to be in 
the other company. And when I went ^.way they likewise 
scattered and went home. O Lord Jesus, follow them 
with thy blessing, and let not the least impression on their 
mind be lost. 

13th, I RODE over to one Mr. Brown's, preacliedthe 



I i 


t !i 



il ! 

\ ; 

Sabbatli there, and I think the Lord spoke to the hearts of 
some. And as for my own. part, blessed be God, my soul 
was ahve, and my tongue at Hb'jriy to plead with poor sin- 
ners in the name of Jesus.* 

17th. I RODE to Falmouth, ^\here one Mr. Dean was 
minister. I pvea':hed once in the week and once on the Sab- 
bath in his meeting-house to a great crowd of people. 

Monday I rode to the next parish where one Mr* 
Lancaster was minister. As for my bodily illness, it was 
still so great and heavy on me, that I was scarcely an 
hour free from pain, excepting when asleep ; but, blessed 
be God, he was the supporter and comforter of my mind. 

Here ends Mr.. Alline'3 journal, sickness preventing 
his proceeding further in it. 

In the foregoing pages Ave have had a pai'ticular ac- 
count of ti e dealings of God with the pious Mr. Henry 
Alline frora his childhood and youth, up to w'thin a little 
better than two months of his death ; viz. of Gcd's dealings 
with him under his conviction ; of his conversion, his call 
to t'.e ministry, his engaging therein, of his success in the 
ministry ; of the abuses and persec.uiions he met with in 
k ; and niany more particulars relating to him. 

We have but Httle account of hif> travels and preach- 
ing from the time he discontinued hit/ journal by reason of 
his sickness and pains till about a fortnight before his- 
death, which happened on the 2d of Fthrnary, 1784, be- 
tween thixie and four o'clock in the morning, at the Rev. 
Mr. M*Clure'^, minister of North-Hampton^, in the state of 
New- Hampshire. 

An account of his glorious and triumphant death is 
given by the Rev. Mr. M'Clure in the two following letters 
wrote to-Mr. William Alline of Falmouth, thcfkther of the 


Soon after the death of yom' son T wrote you by a ves- 
-.2I which sailed from Newbury -Port, informing vou of the 
melancholy Providence. The.letter was inclosed to Mr. 
liewolf, of Windsor, which I hope you have received ; but 
as it may have miscarried, bejng'now in Boston, from 
whence there are frequent oppoK'tunities of conveyance to 
Nova-Scmi;i,I shall leave this to bc.Turwarded by your neph- 
ew, ^Mr. Henry Alline.. i 

TiiK following extracts from some minutes, which. I 
kept of your son's sickness and death, \ now send you, con- 





V ■ 

cludinpj it will be satisfactory to his bereaved parents, to 
know the particulars of the last day^ of so pious a son. 

January 22d. He arrived at my house accompaniedby 
the Rev. Mr. McClintock, very feeble, to appearance in the 
last stage of a hectic, and much oppressed with the asthma. 

25th. Hk rode to the meeting house, and preached 
from Luke 19th c. 5th v. 

26th,. To day had a faint sinking turn oppressed at 
his stomach, too weak to proceed on his intended journey to 
his friends in Boston. 

27tb. Confixed to day to his bed. 

28th, Last night an abscess, which had been for some 
days gathering, broke and discharged a quantity of putrid 
blood and water, which has lessened his pain, and he is able 
to sit up. 

29th. Still growing weaker, )iis feet swell, and his 
cough severe. Expecting death approaching, he commit- 
ted to my care his papers and effects, with direction to be 
paiticularly careful of a number of hymns, which he had 
prepared tf) be published, with directions to write to his 
Iriends in Nova-Scotia, concluding his brother would come, 
to take care of them. 

30th. This morning worse, had no sleep last night ; 
kept awake by tlie asthma, cough and fever. He told me^. 
he found hinaself goings The symptoms of death upon him,, 
and said none but Christ, none but Christ,. Yesterday the 
doctor, who had attended him from the time of his arrival,, 
asked him how he did? he answered, 1 have nothing to 
promise myself with regard to life. I am going and will- 
ing to go. Willing, not because I must die ; but because 
1 hixvc a friend, who will support me in death. 

Satuiidav,3 1st. He told me he had a wearisome night 
with his bodily pains. One asked him how he did, he said 
I am in terrible distress, but yet I am well. He would oft- 
en say, that he had sweet hours. Such views of divine 
things, as made him almost forget all his pains. 

Restless without sleep all day ; the nurse constantly 
holding him up in the bed in the day time,antl this the great- 
er part of the night. His strength decays very rapidly. 

He desired me to sit down and write some things he 
ahould tell me, respecting-h'is life ; having a desire, he said,, 
that poor sinners should be made acquainted with some re- 
markable providences of God towards him, but he was too. 
weak to converse, and said he must put it off. 





It seems he preached every Sabbath from the time he 
left Nova-Scotia. He toM me, it had pleased God so far to' 
bless his labours, particularly among the young people at 
Harrisicket, that he has no reason to be sorry that he had 
undertaken the journey, although m so much weakness. 
He frequently expressed in his prayers and conversation 
most benevolent wishes for the spiriluul welfare of his 
friends, particularly in Nova-Scotia, and for the churches 
which he was connected with. He was about to send foi*^ 
some of his friends in Boston to come and see him, but con- 
cluded it would be too late. He chose to converse on no sub- 
jects but Christ and the love God in our redemption. 

February 1st. Sabbath morning. No sleep the last 
night ; his fever high ; he has his reason well ; distress- 
ed for breath, patient in his distress,. and resigned to the will 
of God. I said he was fast approaching to the end of his 
wearisome journey, and, as 1 trusted, to his entrance in a 
glorious rest. He said with great earnesmess ; O I long 
for it, I long for it; I observed to him that the promises 
of the gospel were a divine support to all who love our Lord 
Jesus. O yes, said he, but the promiser is greater than the 
promises, and he is with me* Going to meetmg he desir- 
ed a remembrance in our prayers, and said, O tell all my 
friends, that the blessed gospel, which I have preached to^ 
th6m is true, in *vhich they must believe in the lively belief 
of, and in which they will be safie in death. Sir, O preach; 
that blessed gospel.^ 

By reason of his great bodily pains and longing to be 
with Christ, he would sometimes check himself, fearing he 
was too impatient to be gone. I desire, says he, to wait 
God*s time. He said, he had begged of God, that he might 
not outlive his usefulness. O I long, said he, that poor sin- 
ners should have such views of the Lord Jesus> as I have. 

He wouM frequently exhort spectators to get an in- 
terest in Christ, assuring them that none but Christ would 
answer for them, when thev came to die. 

In the afternoon he told me he was afraid he should 
lose his reason, but hoped that God wou'd continue to him 
that blessinor. 

In the evening I observed to him that Christ was now 
his only help, .he said, I need not to be told of that, he is 
iww my only desire. His distress increased, and he longed 
to depart. I observed to him, that I trusted he would soon 
obtain the gracious fulfilment of the promises. I have n« 

'I / 







■doulot, said lie, r.ot one, no more than if I was now there. 
He lay in great distress, groaning and reaching for breath ; 
iuitil aijoiit midnight he said, his thoughts began to be con- 
fused ; ily.'X he was not in a condition to pray ; desired me 
to go to prayer ; and at the close he repeated a loud and 
joyful amen. It was evident soon afier, that his reason was 
going, and his broken sentences were the breathings of a 
soul swallowed up in God. 

In this state he lay about two hours in great distress 
for breath, and the last intelligible sentence he spoke was 
in the strain of his geneaal conversation in these word«. 
Now I rejoice in the Lord Jesus. 

And between three and four o*clock in the morning he 
breathed out his soiU into the arms of Jesus, with whom 
he longed to be. Such was his peaceful end. The righ- 
teous hath hope in his death. Happy the man who dieth 
the death of the righteous, and whose last end is like his. O 
Tnay the living lay it to heart, and be excited by the speak- 
ing example of lively truth and holy fortituae in death to 
redouble their diligent efforts to secure the unfading-prize 
of immortal life. 


The Height Jirrlng- minister* were requested to attend, and 
they accordingly came and walked as bearers. 

Feburay 3d. The corps vas carried from my house to the 
meetiiijg-house. The Rev. Dr. Langdtm made a orayer adapted 
to ihe solerenity, and a funeral hymn was sung-. It was then con- 
vejed to the burying-yard, preceded by s'x underbearers, includ- 
ing the deacons, ami deposited in a grave near to that of the Rev. 
Mr. Gookin, ibrincr pastor of the church. 

Rev. Mr. Noble, of St. John's . trj Rev. Mr. Buckminster, ot 

River, Nova-Scotia. ^ <^ Portsmouth, N. Hampshire. 

Rev, Mr. McClure, of North- fri ^| Rev. Mr. Thayer, of Hamp- 

ampton, New-Hampsliire. ^ •' ton, do. 

Rev. Mr. McClintock, of Green-^ _ Rev.Dr. Langdon.of Hamp- 
landjdo. jij ton Falls, do. 

Tkk eflects which he has left are principally a horse and 
sleigh, hid apparel and about twelve dollars in money. 

As I doubt not, Sir, from your worthy son's frequent mention 
of you, that you and his honoured mother have long walked with 
God, tliat it might afford you unspeak.ible sutisfaction, that you 
have hern blessed with such a son, and hare the triumphant hope 
of speedily meeting him, no more to part, in the bright region of 
eternal day. 

I AM, Sir, with great esteem, your verv obedient and sincere 
friend and servant, DAVID McCLURE. 

North- Hampton, New-Hampshire, April 29th 1784, 
Mr, William Alline. 



! i 

n ' 




Yesterday I had the satisfaction to receive a letter from yon, 
elated the 18th of May, on the melancholy subject of the deatli of 
your late pious and worthy son. I had long been waiting with ilic 
expectation of hearing trom you, or seeing one of your sons here « 
which was the expectation of the deceased, to see about his pa- 
pers and dffects ; but my letters to 3 on have unfortunately mis- 
carried. I wrote you about three weeks after your son's decease, 
by a small vessel belongiwgto the river St. John's from Newbury- 
port. The letters were put on board by the postmaster. The let- 
ter to you was inclosed to Mr. Low ran Dewolf of Windsor. 
About the begiiniing of May I wrote aiyain from Boston to you, 
giving a more particular account of the triumphant exit of your 
fcon, together w ith the most remarkable occurrences of liis life 
during liis confinement. That letter I left to the care ol your 
kinsman, Mr. Henry Alline, of Boston, and liope that one or both 
of the above have C(ime lo your hands before this time. Your son 
giive me a particular charge with respect to a number of hymns, 
which it wus his desire should be published, for the benefit more 
especially of his friends in Nova Scotia. He had begun to draw 
oM the journal of his life in a legible hand, but had proceeded but 
a little way in it. He expressed a desire to have the remarkable 
providences of God towards him made public for the good of 
^ouls. And if some judicious person, who is ac([uainted v.^th the ' 
characters in which he u rote, would undertake it ; something well 
worthy of the attention of the i)»iblic, and which might be very ben- 
eficial, might be collected. He appears to have been, by what I 
ean gather Irom his journals, a burning and shining light in Nova 
Scotia and elsewhere, and that many souls rejoiced in his light. 
And his christian virtues, zeal, fortitude, fiith, hope, rjatience and 
resignation shone bright as the lamp of life burnt down into the 
socket. And we trust, he is now united with s*eraphs and saints 
in their pure ardours oi' holy love ajnd c^-erlasting joy. From the 
time of his landing on tlic eastern ^horc, until his arrival at Fal- 
mouth, his journal is continued ; after that his infirmities prevent- 
ed his continuing it ; although they prevented not his preaching, 
which seems to have been attended with j)ower to the consciences 
of sinners in almost all the eastern shore, where he bestowed his la- 
hoiu's. May it please the Author of all gracious influences to che- 
rish the seed sown there, and cause it to bring forHi fruit which 
t'hall be to the praise of redeeming love, and a crown of joy to him 
tie faithful labourer. 

In my letter to you,, I gave an account of your son's effects, 
and agreeable to your directions shall forward them together with 
his papers, to your nephew, Mr. Henry Alline at Boston, to be by 
I»im forwarded. Wishing you, dei'r sir, and your worthy partner 
the divine consolations m tlie vale of life, and a happy meeting with 
our friend, your dear departed son, and the best of Heaven's bles- 
sings to }()ar family, I s\ibscribc my sell", dear Sir, your sympathiz- 
ing, allectionate, though, unktiown friend and servunt, 

Nonh-Hampton, New- Hampshire^ Aug. 3d. ir84.