Courtship under difficulties [microform]

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DIALOGUES AND RECITATIONS
■HIT poiTPAio OH mioBirr or pkioi

■prinv'i OenqiMit— Oialoffue and Rertution on the Soasona

for a number of boys ana girli Price, lOe.

TwtiTt Baeltotlotw—For children from nine to fourt^ten year*

o' ««• I'rice, lOo.

ThrM Dialof u«t— Flnt. for two Rirli ; aocond, for two boys ;

ti.ird, for tno girts Price, lOe.

Wrltint Poetry — Comic Dialogue for acvun or more boys. Price. 10c.

ThanksfiTinc Baleotioiu— Rocitations Prire, 10c.

Bow the Palrlet Chott Tbelr Queen— March and Recitation

(or ten to thirty giria Price, 10c.

Canada, Our Homeland— Dialogue for ot a older girl or bov nnd

ten younger girW or boys Price, lOo.

Britannia — Dialogue for one girl And sii younger gitla or boys.

Price, lOe.

Seven Primary Baoitationa— Recitations for small bov? or

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Chrlatmaa with Buff lea— Comic Diologue for four boys and

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Two Chriatmaa Dlaloffuea for Junior Oradea— 1. For six

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Tha Bag Doll — Comio Dialogue for one older o^d six small

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Witcb'a Bower — ^A girl to represent a witch telling fortunes

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Jaka Hayaaad — Comic Dialogue for two boys and one girl . Price, ICe.

Tho M arralloua Doctor— Comic Dialogue for a number of

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**»• MagieUn'B Lasaon— Comie Dialogue in three scenes for

"« "xwa : Price, lOe.

Tan Bright Baeitattona— For younger children Price, lOe.

Tha SIbarian Inquaat— Comio Dialogue for thirteen boys . Price, 10c.

Two Obrtatmaa Diaiocuoa for Senior Claaaes- Living the Christ-
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COURTSHIP UNDER DIFFICULTIES

FOR TWO MAL.nH AND ONK rEMALK

Thi-< may be made (•hn^m eqiuiUy succennful an a reading.
{Knhr Sno»bi,kt<)N.|
Stuiithleton {Utokinq in the direction ivhence he hnn jtinl
coww)— Yw, then « that follow Jones, hkhiii. I doclaro,
the man Ih ubiquitous. Whenever I go with uiv cousin
Prvidonco we stumble across hitn, or he follows her like her
Hhadow. Do we take a boutinK ? So dix-s Jones. |)(»
wo wander i the beach ? So docs Jones, (»'■ .ere we
will, that fellow fr»ll«)ws or moves In'fore. N'ov ii . , was a
cruel practical joke which Jones once played •• me at
coUoge. I have never fortriven him. Hut I woiud Rladly
Tiake a pretence of doinjt s«), if I couM have my revenue.

't me K>e. Can't I manage it ? He is head over erirs in
l(.ve with Prudence, but tcM) bashful to speak. I half be-
lieve she is not indifferent to him, though altogether un-
acquainted. It may prove -i match, if I can not spoil it.
Ijct me think. Ha I I have it ! A brilliant idea ! Jones,
beware ! But here he comes.

[Enter Jonk.s.1
. Jonei. {not seeing Snohhlctnn, and delightedly contem-
plating a flower, which he holdn in his hand) — ()h, rapture !
what a prize I It was in her hair — I saw It fall from her
queenly head. {Kiaites it everj/ now and then.) How warm
are its tender leaves from ha^mg touched her neck ! How
doubly sweet is its perfumi 'resh from the fragrance of
her glorious locks ! Howbci ful ! how- Bless me ! here
is Snobbleton. We are enei .^s !

Snohhleton {advancing with an air of franknean) —
Good-morning, Jones— that is, if you will shake hands.

Jonen — What ! — you forgive ! You really —

Snohhleton — Yes, yes, old fellow ! All is forgotten.
You played me a rough trick ; but let bygones be bygones.
Will you not bury the hatchet ?

Jones — With all my heart, my dear fellow ! {They shake
hands.)

Snobbleton — What is the matter with yon, Jones ? You
look quite grumpy — not by any means the .same cheerful,
dashing, rollicking fellow you were.

-Grumpy— what is that ? How do I look, Snob-

Jonea-
bleton ?

SnobhleUmr-Oh, not much out of the way. Only a
little shaky m the shanks, blue lips, red nose, cadaverous
jaws, bloodshot eyes, yellow —

Jones (aghaM) — Bless me, you don't say so ! (Aside) :
Confound the man ! Here have I been endcavorine to
appear romantic for the last month— and now to be called
shaky-shanked, cadaverous— it is unbearable '

Snobbleton— But never mind. Cheer up, old fellow ' I
see It all. Egad ! I know what it is to be in—

Jones- Ah ! You can then sympathize with me ? You
know what it is to be in —

Snobbleton— Of course I do ! Heaven preserve me from
the toils I What days of bitterness !

Jones— What nights of bUss !

Snobbleton (shuddering)— And then the letters — the
interminable letters !

Jones {with rapture)— Oh, yes, the letters ! The billet-
(ioux !

Snobbleton— And the bills— the endless bills !
Jones {in surprise) — The bills !

Snobbleton- Yes ; and. the bailiffs, the lawyers, the
judge, and the jury. "^ '

Jones— Why, man, what are you talking al)out? I
thought you said you knew what it was to be in—
Snobbleton — In debt. To be sure I did
Jones— Bless me ! I'm not in debt— never borrowed a
dollar m my hfe Ah me ! {sighs) it's worse than that.
. *Sno66/e<on— Worse than that ! Come, now, Jones, there
IS only one thing worse. You're surely not in love?

Jones— Yes, I am. {With sudden feeling) : Oh, Snobby,
help me, help me ! Let me conCde in you.

Snobbleton {with mock emotion) — Confide in me ! Cer-
tainly, my dear fellow 1 See ! I do not shrink— I "stand
hrm. {tolds hu arms in a determined posture.) Blaze
away !
Jones — Snobby, I — I love her.
Snobbhton — Whom ?
Jones — ^Your cousin. Prudence.

Snobbleton— Ka. I Prudence AngeUa Winterbottom ?
Jones— Now, don't be angry. Snobby ! I don't mean
any harm, you know. I— I— you know how it is.
Snobbleton— Haxm ! my dear fellow. Not a bit of it.

I

Angry ! Not at all. You have my consent, old fellow,
lake her. bhe is yours. Heaven bless you both.

Jones— You are very kind, Snobby, but I haven't got
her consent yet. *

Snobbletott--We\\, that is something, to be sure. But
leave it all to me. She may be a Uttle coy, you know :
bPt, considering your generous overlooking of her unfor-
tunate defect —

Jones— Defect ! You surprise me.
Snobblelon— What ! and you did not know of it '
I hoT''^''^ ^* ^"' ^ ^™ astonished ! Nothing serious,

Snobblelon— Oh no, only a Uttle— (f^e taps his ear xvith
his finger knowingly.) I see you understand it.

Jones— Merciful heaven ! can it be ? But, really is it
serious ? ,^^011,

Snobblelon— I should think it was.

Jones— What I But is she ever dangerous ?

.Snobfe^eton- Dangerous ! Why should she be ?

Jones (considerably relieved) —Oh, I perceive ! A mere
airmess of bram— a gentle aberration — scorning the dull
world — a mild —

Snobblelon — Zounds, man, she's not crazy '
Jones-My dear Snobby, you reheve me. What then ?
»Sno66/e<ori— Slightly deaf. That's all.
Jones — Deaf !

Snobbleton—Aa a lamp-post. That is, you must elevate
your voice to a considerable pitch in speaking to her

Jones— Is It possible ! However, I think I can manage.
As, for instance, if it was my intention to make her a floral
oHermg, and I should say (elevating his voice considerably).
Miss, will you make me happy by accepting these flow-
?P : J I suppose she could hear me, eh ? How would
that do .'

Smbbleton—Fsh&w ! Do you call that elevated ?
Jones— Well, how would this do ? (Speaks very loudly) :
Miss, will you make me happy—"
Snobblelon — Louder, shriller, man !
Jones— "Miss, will you—"

Snobbleton—Louder, louder, or she wiU only see vour
lips move. "^ ^

Jones (almost screaming) — "Miss, will you oblige me
by accepting these flowers?" ' -^ » "c

Snobbleton— There, that may do. Still you want prac-
tice. 1 perceive the lady herself is approaching. Suppose

you retire for a short time, and I will prepare her for the
introduction.

Jones — Very good. Meantime, I will go down to the
beach and endeavor to acquire the proper pitch. Let me
see : "Miss, will you obHge me — "

[Exit Jones, still speaking.]
[Enter Prude VCE, from other side.]

Prudence — Good morning, cousin. Who was that,
speaking so loudly ?

SnobUeton — Only Jones. Poor fellow, he is so deaf that
I suppose he fancies his own voice to be a mere whisper.

Prudence — Why, I was not aware of this. Is h*" very
deaf?

Snobhleton — Deaf as a stone fence. To be sure he does
not use an ear-trumpet any more, but one must speak exces-
sively high. Unfortunate, too, for I believe h(r is in love.

Prudence (with some emotion) — In love ! with whom ?

Snobhleton — Can't <you guess ?

Prudence — Oh, no ; I haven't the slightest idea.

Snobbleton — With yourself ! He has been begging me
to obtain him an introduction.

Prudence — Well, I have alwaj's thought him a nice-
looking young man. I suppose he would hear me if I
should say {speaks loudly), "Good-morning. Mr. Jones?"

Snobbleton {compassionately) — Do you think he would
hear that ?

Prudence — Well, then, how would {speaks very loudly)
"Good-morning, Mr. Jones !'' How would that do ?

Snobbleton —Tush ! he would think you were .'<i>eaking
under your breath.

Prudence {almost screaming) — "Good morning !"

Snobbleton — A mere whisper, my dear cousin. But here
he comes. Now, do try and make yourself audible.

[Enter Jones.]

Snobbleton {speaking in a high voice) — Mr. Jones-
cousin. Miss Winterbottom — Jones. You will yjlease ex-
cuse me for a short time. {He retires, hut remains in viexo.)

Jones {speaking shrill and loud, and offering som^ flowers)
— Miss, will you accept these flowers ? I plucked them
from their slumber on the hill.

Prudence {in an equally high voice) — Really, sir, I — I —

Jones (asirfe) — She hesitates. It must be that she
does not hear me. {Increasing his tone) : Miss, will you
accept these flowers— flowers ? I plucked them sleeping
on the hill — hill.

Prudence (also increasing her tone) — Certainly, Mi.
Jones. They are beautiful — beau-u-tifdi-.

Jones (aside) — How she screams in my ear. (Aloud.)
Yes, I plucked them from their slumber — slumber, on the

hill — HILL.

Prudence (aside) — Poor man. what an effort it seems
to him to speak. (Aloud.) I perceive you are poetical.
Are you fond of poetry ? (Aside.) He hesitates. I must
speak louder. (In a scream.) Poetry — poethy— POETRY !

Jones (aside) — Bless me, the woman would wake the
dead ! (Aloud) : Yes, Miss, I ad-o-r-e it.

Prudence — Can you repeat some poetry — Poetby ?

Jones — I know only one poem. It is this :

You'd scarce expect one of my age — Age,
To speak in public on the stage — Stage.

Prudence (putting her lips to his ear and shouting) —
Bravo — bravo !

Jones (in the same way) — Thank you ! Thank —

Prudence (putting her hands over her ears) — Mercy on
us ! Do you think I'm deak, sir ?

Jones (also stopping his ears) —And do you fancy me
deaf, Miss ?

[They now speak in their natural tones.]

Prudence — Are you not, sir ? You surprise me !

Jones — No, Miss. I was led to believe that you were
deaf. Snobbleton told me so.

Prudence — Snobbleton ! Why he told me that you were
deaf.

Jones — Confound the fellow ! he has been making game
of us. Here he is. (Perceiving Snobbleton.) You shall
answer for this, sir.

Prudence — Yes, sir, you shall answer for this, sir.

Snobbleton (advancing) — Ha ! ha ! ha ! And to whom
must I answer ? Ah. Jones, do you remember that
college joke ? We quit even now. Bye ! bye ! (Leaves
stage hurriedly.)

Jones (looking surprisedly at Prudence)— VicW, what
do you think of that ?

[Curtain]

T Eight Comic Recitations — For bnya and girls Prire, 10c. "f

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From Down East— Humorous Diulofjup with good le.-son. Five i«
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r Courtship Under Difficulties— Humorous. Three character*. Two "f
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40c.
tic.
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I

SNOOKS versus FOOZLE

This is a matrimonial court trial, in which Mr. Abra-
ham Octavius Snooks enters an action against Thomas
Foozle, proprietor of a matrimonial bureau, to recover
the sum of $5.00 which he has paid Foozle for securing >'
suitable wife for him. It is a great case and extremely
humorous. One act and easily staged. Time, about
one hour and a half. With a little music additional it
will provide an evening's program.

This was originally an American production, but has
been re-edited by us, making it much longer and adapting it
to Canadian presentation. The characters consist of young
men and young women, and a few boys and girls. Some
prefer to give it with young men acting the parts of the
prospective brides. Suitable for senior Public or High School
Pupils, Young People's Societies and Young Men's Clubs.

We do not sell this play outr'^ht. It is loaned for the
occasion and must be returned to us. We charge for its use
10 per cent, of the gross receipts of the entertaimnent. If you
want something to draw the crowd and to give you a good
night's clean fun, you will put on this ^eat matrimonial
case. Send for our blank order form,^ which will be mailed
to you at once, glAring you full particulars re agreement.

STANDING OFFER

There is much useful matter put on at various enter-
tainments throughout the country which might be used
again in other parts were there some means of getting it
{■^to print and offering it for sale. To accomplish this,
we ::re establishing a central . oreau where such matter
may be sent for pubUcation. We will examine a plays,
dialogues, drills, marches, etc., forwarded to us, and pay
cash for everything accepted.

Pass on to others anything which you have found
interesting along entertainment lines.

THE EDUCATIONAL PUBLISHING CO., Ltd.

36 Shuter Street, Toronto.

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