Full text of "Cox and Box, or the long lost brothers : a comic opera in one act"

cox and BOX 



By 

Artliur Sullivan 



Oliver Ditson Companvl 






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L 1 B R_ARY 

OF THE 
U N 1 VERS ITY 
Of ILLINOIS 

\^ — 



MUSIC LIBRARY 



The person charging this material is re- 
sponsible for its return to the library from 
which it was withdrawn on or before the 
Latest Date stamped below. 

Thef», mutilation, and underlining of books are reasons 
for disciplinary action and may result in dismissal from 
the University. 
To renew coll Telephone Center, 333-8400 

UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS LIBRARY AT URBANA-CHAMPAIGN 



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Llbl^O-lO^'f. 



cox AND BOX 

OPv 

THE LONG LOST BROTHERS 



A COMIC OPERA 
IN ONE ACT 



THE BOOK BY 

F. C. BURNAND 

THE MUSIC BY 

ARTHUR S. SULLIVAN 



.75 



OLIVER DITSON COMPANY 

THEODORE PRESSER CO., DISTRIBUTORS 
1712 CHESTNUT STREET, PHILADELPHIA 

MADE IN U. S. A. 



BROUDE BROS. 

Music 

NEW YORK 



1~ 






19 — 



UL- 



DRAMATIS PERSON/E. 



JAMES JOHN COX, A Journeyman Hatter. | JOHN JAMES BOX, A Journeyman Printer. 

SERGEANT BOUNCER, Late of the Dampshire Yeomanry, with Military Reminisencea. 



INDEX. 

No. Page 

i 1. OVERTURE 1 

g; 2. SONG, (Bouncer), "Rataplan," 4 

3. DUET, (Cox and Bouncer), " Stay, Bouncer, Stay," 9 

4. SONG, (Box), " Hush-a-bye, Bacon," A Lullaby, 20 

5. SONG AND DANCE, (Cox), " My Master is Punctual," 21 

6. TRI( K ((k)x. Box, and Bouncer), "Who are you. Sir? " 23 

7. DUET, SERENADE, (Cox and Box), " The Buttercup," 31 

8. ROMANCE, (Box), " Three years ago," 3* 

9. GAMBLING DUET, (Cox and Box), "Sixes," •i* 

0. FINALE,. . . W 



cox AND BOX: 



OR, 



THE LONG-LOST BROTHERS. 



John Ooz— A Jooraeymu H&tt«r. John Jamib Box— A Jonrnsyman Printer. Sibjumt Boin(OiF-L»t« of the DsmpgUre Teomury. 
i)'. C. BUUNAND. AETHUE SULLIVAN. 



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4CSKB. — A Room^ decently furnuhed ; at c. a bed, wUA eurtaim cloted; at h. c. a 
door ; at 3 K. L, a dom- ; at 2 B. L. a chat of drawers ; at bad B. a vitidow ; at 3 
E. R. a door ; a< 2 fi. u. a Jireplace, vUK imaiUelpiece ; table and cAai}'«, a few com- 
mon ornaments on chimney piece. ^ 
Cox, dressed, irith Ihe exception of his coat, is looking at himself in a small looking- 
glass, which he holds in his fiand. 
Cox. I've Imlf H iiiiud lo re);ist«r an unth tliat 111 never have my hair cut again ! 
{his hair is very short.) Aii<l 1 was particularly emphatic in my insirucTious U> the 
hair-dreaser only to cat tlie eude off. He mast have thought I meant the other ends I 
Hever niiud, I Hhan't meet aiivbodv to care about so early. Eight o'clock, I declare 
I haven't a uioment to lose, t'ate oas placed me with the most punctual, particular, 
and peremptory of hatters, and I muBt fulfil my destiny, (tnoct at v. c. D.) Open 
locks, whoever knocks! 

Enter Sebjeant HotrNCER. 
BouHCEK. Good morning, Colonel Cox. I hope you slept comfortably. Colonel. 
Cox. I can't say I did, B. I should feel obliged to yon, if yon could accommodate 



me with a more protu1>emot bolster, B. The one I've got now seemB to me toliave 
about a iiaudful and a half of feathers at each end, and nothing whuiever in the 
middle 

Hoi;n. Anything to accommodate yon. Captain Cox. 

Cox. Tliauk you. Then |>erhape you'll be good enough lo hold this glass, while 
I fiuish my toilet. 

Bouw. Certaiulv, (holding glau before Cox, who ties on his cravaL) Why, I d« 
declare, you've baa your liair cut! 

Cox. Cut! It strikes me Ive bad it mowed ! It's very kind of yon to meution 
it, but I'm Btifficiently coiieciuus of the itlisurdity of my personal appe^iraiice already. 
I look us if I'd been cropjwil tor the Militia — 

BouN. The Militia !— I recollect when I was in the Militia. 

Cox Ah I now lie's otfou his hobbv. [Sxit. 

BoiTN. Yes, we were mounied on chargi'rs. I r«>collect upon one occasion, beiitc 
seated firmly in my saddle for eight honi«, and I don't recollect being able to sit 
down agaiuyirm/y for a considerable period afterwards. 



RATAPLAN. 



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^ter Cox. 

C\)X. Well this is pleasaai This comes of having ones h.air cut. None of my 
hats will Gt me Never muid, this one Hppeare to me to wobble about rather less 
than the otiiers {/lula on /uttj, ami now I'm off < Bv the by. Bouiic«r, I wuli to know 
how It is 'iial 1 frequently find my ..partment full ol smoKe ' 

BOUN Wliy — J suppose the chimney — 

Cox rbe cliimney doesn't smoke tobacco. Vm speaking of tobacco smotie. bow 
•t ibBi < 

Bomc leonfiued) Whv — 1 suppose — yes — that must be it— 

Cox At present ) am entirety of your opinion- because I hnven't the most ais- 

lant particle of an idea wha' von mean 

Boon Wliy. tiie gentleman wno nas got tne attics is nardly ever without a pipe 

IB bis mouth — anil there he aita for boors, and pafis away iuto the Ure-placa. 

OHt mmd Boo.— 4 



Cox. Ah, then yon mean to say that this gentleman's smoke, instead of emulating 
the example of all other Bortt^ of smoke, and going up the chimney, thinks proper to 
affect a sin^'nlarity by taking the contrary direction. 

BouN. Why— 

('ox. Then 1 suppose the gentlenmn yon are speaking of, is the same IndiTidnai 
that 1 invariably meet coinini^ up stairs when I'm going down, and going down 
when I'm coming up ^ 

BouN. Why — yes— I— 

Cox. Prom the appennince of his outward man, I should nnhesitatingly set hift) 
down as a genlleraan connected with the printing interest. 

BncN. Ves, sir. and a very respectable yoang gentleman he is. Oood morning 
Colonel. 



9 



STAY, BOUNCER, STAY! 

DUET, (Cox and Bouncer.) 



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Ra-ta-plan! 



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Ra-ta-plan, plan, plan, plan, plan! 

—IV. 



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coals is coals, as sure as eggs is e^; Coals hay -n't souls, no more than they have legs; But 

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as you will ad-mit, the case., is so. 



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L^ or no l^s, my coals contrive to go, contrive to 



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Cfojv aitd Box. — 12. 



U. OF la. LIB. 




Fed. 



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fle-C(Y. BOUNCKR. 



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My coals con -tri veto go, con - trive.. to go! 

^-^ Piu tivo. 



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Well, I should say— or 




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^ , . COX. BOUNCKR. COX. ^^^.^ i;/- -;^-/ ^ ^ 



as it seems to me - Ex - act - ly, Quite so. Then we both a - gree. 



As we a - gree, good 




COX. (xJnwer.) 



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day. I've something more \^) say. 



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Cox and Aox. — liS. 



13 



■ ■ BOU NCER COX 



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H"t wv coals a -lone— (Ah! why this cru- el tone? But oth-er things as— dear as they to me. 

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in that lit -tie clo-set I care-fal-ly de-pos-it, In them a sure and gradual loss I see. 



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til their case the po - et's words ex - press, "Small by de-grees, And 



beau - ti ful - ly 






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BOUNCER 



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Ah! yes, their case the po-et's words ex -press; "Small by de-grees, and beau - ti - ful - ly less, 
cox ,. * 



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Tin - til their case the po-et's words ex -press; "Small by de-grees, and beau -ti -ful- ly less, 



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Cms ond Boat. — iA 









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dim. rail. 

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Ab! beau-ti-fal-ly, beau-ti-fal-ly, beau4i-ftil-ly less.' 

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Small by de-grees and beau-ti - M- ly less, 



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Allegretto Pesnnte. 



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beau-ti - tol- ly less.".. 

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And now Sergeant Boun-cer, I beg to announce, sir. For ne'er was oc- 








ca-sion as thlshalfas good,WhaU'ermaymycoalsail.Theseth uigsgo by whalcsale,My lu-ci-fere, 



^^^^it'SEE* 




333 335 333 333 333 333 3 3 

«IM4i Hos.— lA. 



15 



BOUNCER 




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My feel-ings o - - ver - pow - er me, 



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That his lodg - er, His friend-ly lodg - er Nhould once siis- 

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/Os I /" BOUNCER [thouuMfullii.) 



pect. That Bouncer is a dodg - - er. 



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As to who takes your coals, wood, and all that. It 



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most have been— No ! no ! 



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'Twas not the cat ! 



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-_ Allegro Mihlario 



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plan, Ba-taplan, I'm a mil-i-tary man,Rougli,hoii-est, 1 hope, tho' un - pol • ish'd. And I'll bet yon a hat, That 







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as to the cat, The cat in the ar-my's a - bol - ish'd, Ra-ta-plan, Ra-ta-plan,You're a mil-i-ta-ry man, 







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Hon - est I hope, tho' it doesn't ap-pear, And as to the cat, the treacherous cat. If it Ls-n't in the ar - my 



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fia-ta • plan. 



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Ba-ta - plan. 



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Ra-ta - plan, Ra-ta-plan, Ra-ta - plan, plan, plan, Ra-ta 



g-^^;^^fEj£^=g:gg3:E=|;^Ogsg^p;;^gEg;g=g^:fgf-^ 



don't have it here. 



Rataplan, 




Rataplan, Ra-ta - plan, Ra-ta-plan, Ra-ta - plan, jdan, plan. 



Com and Boa.— 19. 




17 




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Ra - ta - plan, Ra - ta - plaa, Ra - la - plan, plan, plan, Ra - ta - plan, Ra - ta - plan, I'm a mil - i - la - ry 



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Ra - ta-plao, Ra -la - plan, Ra - ta - plan, plan, plan, 

-■(?-_.»_^._:^ — r . > 







Ra-ta-plan, Ra-ta - plan. He's a mil - i - ta - ly man, 






A mil - i - la - ry, 



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He's a mil-i - la-iy man, 



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mU-i- ta-ry,ma -ta-ry, mil-i - U -ly, ml i -U -ly, mil - i - ta - ry man, Ra - la - plan, Ra - la-plan, I'm a mil- i - la- ly man. 



'^^^^^E^^i^MM^^^^^^^^^^^^^^, 



«)e-ry mil-i-ta-ryman,a mil- i - ta -ry man, Ra - la - plan, Ra - la-plan, He's a mil - i - ta - ry man, 



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Bon - est I am, as I hope to appear. And as to the cat, the treacher-ous cat. It is - n't in the ar - my, and we 



, _ , I? _ ^ _ ^ _ 

Hon-estl h<^e, tho' il does'nt ap - pear, And as to thecal, iht treacher-ous cat. It is - n't in the ar-my. and «e 

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Omi a«ul box - !?■ 



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won't have it here, Ra - ta - plan, 



Ra - ta - plan, 



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plan. 






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Ra-U-plan, Ra - ta - plan, plan, plan, Ra-ta-plan, Ra-ta- plan, I'm a mil-i - ta-ry 



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Ra - ta-plan, Ra-ta ■ plan, Ra-ta - plan, plan, plan. 





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Ra - ta-plan, Ra - ta plan. He's a mil - i ta - ry man, 



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He's a mil - i - ta - ry man, 



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mU-i -ta-ry, ma i- ta-ry, mU-i - ta -ry, mil-i -ta -ry, mil - i - ta - ry man, Ra - ta - plan, Ra - ta-plan, I'm a mil - i - ta - ry man, 




ve-ry mU - i - ta - ry man, a mil - i - ta - ry man, Ra - ta - plan, Ra - ta-plan, He's a mil - i - ta - ry man, 

"^*^" "~*^ T^i— pSz*-25^ 




9%» and Box.—lS< 



19 



-C*- 



^^^^^^^^^ 




Hon - est I am, as I hope to appear, And as to the cat, the treacber-ous cat. It is - n't in the ar • my, We 



s^P?=s=p|^^"i=g'^^:gi^i^ 







Hon - est I hope, the' it does'nt ap - pear, And as to the cat,, the treacber-ous cat, It is - n't in the ar - my, We 

1 — *^^ — I ( 1 




^^I^ U"^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^ ^ 



won't have it here, Ra - ta - plan, Ra-ta-plan, I'm a mil - i - ta - ry man, I'm a mil - i - ta - ry, mil - i - ta - ry, mil - i - ta - ry, mil - i - ta - ry 






?3^^=^- 



won*t have it here, Ra - ta - plan, Ra-ta-plan, He's a mil-i - ta - ry man, I'm a mil - i - ta - ry, mil - i - ta - ry, mil - i - ta - ry, mil - i - ta - ry 




Bouw. He's goue at last! I declare I wae all in a tremble for fear Mr. Box 
shonld come in oefore Mr. Cox went out. Luckily they've never met yet — and 
what'fi more, they're not very likely to do so : for Mr. Box is hard at work at a news- 
paper office all night, and doesn l come home till tlie morning, and Mr. Cox is busy 
mn.kini?' hate all day long, and doesn't come home till night ; so that I'm getting double 



; for my room, and neither of my lodgers are any the wiser for it. Itwasa happy 
icht of mine— thnt it was! But I liaven't an instant to lose. First .'fall, let me 



making hats all day long, i 
rent " ' 

put Mr. Cox's things unt. of Mr Box's way. {He lakes the three hats. Cox's dressing 
gown, and slippers, open^ door at L. and puts them in, then shuts door and loch it.) 
Now then, to put the key where Mr. Cox always finds it. (Puts the key on the ledge 
of the door, L.) Now then, to make the bed — and don't let me forget that what's tlie 
head of the bed for Colonel Cox. becomes tlie foot of the bed for Private Box — 
people's tastes do differ so. {Goes hehind the curtains of the bed and seenis to hf making 
\l iji^j^ appears with a very thin holster in hU haiid). The idea of Cohmel Cox pre- 
suming to complain of such a bolster as this ! [He disappears again behind atrtains. 
Box (without). Pooh — pooii ! Why don't you keep vour own side of the staircase, 
sir ? ( Enters at back dressed as a printer^tuts h'^ head out of door again, shouting.) 
It was as much your fault as mine, sir? I pay, sir— it was as much your fault as 

BouN. {emerging from behind the curtains of bed.) Lor, Mr. Box ! what is the 

matter 1 , . t, • 

Box. Mind your own bnsmess, Bouncer ! 

BouN. Dear. dear. Mr. Box ! what a temper you are in, to be sure ! I declare you 
are quite »a/< in the face'. . , , . . , 

Box. What color would yon have a man to be, who has been sett nig ap long 
leaders f »r a daily paper all night ? 

BOUN. But then, you've all day to yourself 

Box (looking significantly at Boi:ncer). So it seems! Far be it from me, Bouncer, 
to hurrv vour movements, but I think it right to acfiuaint you with my immediate 
int«^ntion'of (livestiui^ myself of my gai-ments and going to lied. 

BoiTN- Oh. certainly", Mr Box! (.^oijw). 

Box Stop ! Can you inform mc wlio the individual is that I invariably en- 
eountei* going down stairs when I'm coming up, and coming up stsiirs when I'm going 

down 1 , , , . . 

BouN. [Confused). Oh— yes— the gentleman in the attic, sir. 

Box. On ! Tlifie's notbiiig particularly remarkable about liim, except his hats. 
I meet him in all smts of hats— white but* and black hate — hats with broad brims, 
and hata witli narrow brims, hats with nape, and hats without nape — in short, I have 



come to the conclusion, that he mnst be individually and professionally associated 
with the hatting interest. 

BouN. Yen, sir. And they tell me that's why lie t<K)k the hattics! And, by-the- 
bye, Mr. Box. he I egged me lo request of you, us a particular favor, that yoq 
would not smoke quite ho much. 

Box. Did he ? Then you may tell the gentle hatter, with my complimentfi. that 
if he objects to the effluvia of tobacco, he had belter domesticate himselt in some ad- 
joining parish. 

BouN '\ on surely m onbln't deprive me of a lodger? [pathetically. 

Box. It would come lo preciaely tlie same thing, Bouncer. becHUse if I detect the 
slightest attempt to |iut my pipe ont, 1 at once give you waniing — -that I shall give 
you w aniing at onee. 

BouN. Well, Mr. Box — do you want anything more of me? 

Box. Oil the contDHv — I've had quite enough of you? 

BoiN Well, if ever? 

Box. But there's one evolution I should much like to see you ptrrfonn. 

BouN. >N'h;it'8 that? 

Box. Kight about face, quick march. 

[Exit BoCN., I,. C D., slamming door after him. 

Box. It's quite extraordinary, the trnuble I always have to get rid of tnat ven- 
erable warrior. He knows I'm up all ni^jht. and yet he seems to set his face againsf 
my indulging in a horizontal position hy dav. Now. let me see — shall I take my 
nap before I swallow my breakfast, or shall I take my breiikfiisl before I swallow 
my na]! — I mean Khali I cwallow my nap before— no — never mind! I've got ft 
rasher of bacon somewhere — {feelivg in hit pockets) — I've the nio!*! iliaiinct and vivi** 
recollection of having purchased a rauher of bacon— Oh. here it is — (produces it, 
wrapped in, paper, and places it on t/te tablr) — and a penny roll. The next thing is 
to lii:ht the fire. Where are my Inciters ? {loniiitg on mantel piece it, and taking box, 
opens it ) Now 'pon mv life. thit< is loo had ot Honueer — this is hy several de^jrees 
loo had ! I had a whole bi>x full, three days :tK<>. and there's only one ! I'm peiiectly 
aware that he purloins my eoaln and my candles, and my migar — hut I did think — 
Oh yes, I did think that mr lucifei-s would be sacred (lightf the fire— (hen tnlrs dmrn 
the gj-id iron, which is hanging over fire-place, it.) Bouncer has been UKiiiyniy ;.'ii<ii;on.' 
The last article of consuuiption that I rooked U|ton it wa-* a poik rluip, and i ow i is 
powerfully impregnated with the odor of red herriny^s! (places (/ridtron on fiif and 
then, with a fork , layn rasher of bacon on the grid irou). I low sleepy I am, to 1. 1; mire' 
I'd indulge liiyself with a nap, if there was anybody here to superintend Ine tuniiog 
of my bacon (yawning again). Perhaps it will tuni itself. 



CMC mwi Hmp — i9 



20 



Andante ma non troppe lento. 



A LULLABY. 

(BOX'S SONG.) 




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1. Hush'd is the ba - con 

2. Sleep, gen - tie ba - con, 



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on the grid, I'll take a nap and close my ej^e, 
gmoke a - mid, Which, circ-ling up, smile on the fry. 



Soon shall I be nod-ding, nod - ding nid. 
While I am nod-din^, nod - ding nid, 




nid nodding, nodding, noddii^, nodding. Sing - ing lul - la - %, Lul - la by, Ltd - la - by, Lul -la. 



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lul- la, lul' la, lul-la, lul- la - by, 

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Hush a bye ba - con, on the coal top. 



Till I a - wa - ken, 



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There you will stop, 



Hush -a -bye ba-con, on the coal top, Lul - la - by, 



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(Enter Cox, dancing with delight, l. c. Delight is depicted on his expressive countenance ; he dances joyvudy whUe singing.) 



"MY MASTER IS PUNCTUAL. 



>> 



(SONG AND DANCE.) 



P 



^y^ Allegro non troppo. OOX 



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1. My mas - ter is punc - tu - al al - ways in bu - si- ness. Un -punc- - tu - 

2. My a - ged em - ploy - er, with his phy - si - (^ - no - my bliin - ing from 

3. Vi - sions of Brigh- ton and back, and of Boish -er - vine, Cheap fare ex - 



al - i - ty 
&r Uke a 
cor- sions al 



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N. B. The firot and two other bare marked " ad lib." are to be played daring the dance until Ck>x begins to sing. 

Bom m»d Cm. -»1. 



22 



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e - ven slight is in his Eyes such a crime that on showing my phiz in his Shop, I tho't there'd be the 
star in as - tron - o - my, Said, "Mis - ter Cox, you'll o - blige me and hou - or me, If you wUl take this as 
read - y the squash I feel, Fear - ing the rain, put on my Mack in Cush I vM, Now for my break- fa^it, my 



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dcY - il 
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Shop, I thought there'd be the dev - il to pay. (dancu wuk rfn^wtd deugu.) 
If you will take this as your hoi - i - day. (dances with inmas^d delight , 
Now for my break-fast, my ^^ 



and tcUUfaction.) 



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/>. <S'. light de - jfv - nay. 







Cox. I l>oiieht a mutton chop, so I shan't want ;my dinner. {PuU chop nn tahh.) 
Good vri-'t(ion« ! I've foi-^rot tlie Iti-Hud. Hallo! wliai's tins? a roll. I Heciaie. Come, 
tliat/s lucky ! Now tlien to liuht ilie tire. Hnll.>a — seeivg the hic'ifcr hnr on tnhlfi) — 
wlio presiiriies to loucii my box of InciffVP? Wliv itaemptv ! 1 let'i oiif in it — 1*11 
take my oath I did Heyday ! Why the tire w lighted ! Where's ihe y:nciiron ? On 
the Hre. I deflai-e. And what'n that on it? Biicon ? Bacon it Ib ! Well, now. 'noii 
my life, tliere is a qniet coolness ahont Bouncer's proceedin<:s that's nimoht itmnaiii^ 
He takes my last, lucifer— my coala -and niy jrridiron. to cook his hreakf;i8t hy f No, 
10 — I can't atand tliis! Come out. or that! {pokes fork: itto bacon, and puts it on a 
plate OH the tnhle. then places his chop on the f/ri}iiron, which he puOt on tk^ fire). Now 
then for my hreakfast thiuL'H. {Tnknui key hung vp l.., opens dour L., and goes out 
sUvmrninfj the door after him, icith a loud noise.) 

Box i.fitdiienfi/ .thtnrinf? his head from behind cntiai)ij<). Come in ! if it's von. 

Bouncer — ^on needn't be afraid. I wonder how h>np I've heen Jialeep ! [StLdiUnly 

Ttcollectiny.) Goodnef-e j^racions! — my l»ac"n {leapt off bed and mns to the fireplace.) 

Halloa, what'tt this ^ A chop 7 Whose chop ? Bouncer's, I'll be bound. He thought 

Cox and Box — 2*-f. 



tn cook his breakfast while I was aeleei> — with vm coals, too — and my pridiron. Ha, 
Ira ! But wherea my bacon ? (Seeing it on table ) Here it is! Well, pon my life. 
Bouncer's iroinir it! 'And shall I curb my indt-nxlion ! Shall I falter ni my ven- 

L'pance ? No ! {digs the forh into the chop, open.'i irmdow. and thrmes chop out — shuts 
tnndow agaiji.) So much for Bouncer's breakfast, ;iiid nc»w for my own ! {with fork 
he tints thf bacon on the gridiron again.) I may as well lay my breakfast thnigs. 
{Gop.'i to mantel-piece at k , Utkes key out of one of the ornaments, opens door at K. and 
exit, slamming dfior after him.) 

Cox { putting his heud in quickly at 'i^.r>.\ Come in— cone in {Open* door and 
enter.t vith n .tmall tynif, on vhich are tea things, *tc.. which he places on drawers, L., 
and .txdden I If recollects.) Oh! goodness! rovchop! {running (of re-place.) Holloa— 
what's this! The bacon ajjain ! Oh, pooh 7 Zounds— confound it— ^ash it — danm 
ii— I can't stand this! {jwkes fork into bacon, o^ens uindt'tr, and flings it out, shut4 
windmr again and returns to drawers for tea things, and encounters Box coming froi^ 
his cupboard with his tea things — tA*y conu dwm c. of stage toffether.} 



WHO ARE YOU, SIR? 




Box. 



Cox. 



Box. 



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If it comet to that, sir 7 



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who are you 3 Who 



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Who. sir? Yon, sir? 



Cox. 



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Tell me who, sir ? 



Who are you, sir 7 



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What's that to who, sir 7 



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Tell me who, sir 7 



who are 



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who are you, sir 7 Tell me who, sir 7 who are you, sir ? Tell me who, sir 7 you, sir 7 



(aside.) 



Tes, 'tis the 



(aside.) 
you, sir 7 Tell me who, sir 7 who are you, sir 7 Tell me who, sir 7 who are you, sir? Yes, tis the printer 1 



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Allegro Jurtoso. 



Cox (iri/A iupprtssed fury.) 



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PriB - ter, prin - ter, take a hint - to-, Leave the room or 




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Hat - ter, hat - ter, cease yonr clat - ter. Leave the room or else shall \ 



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Vain - ly strug - gle with tlie fire 






With the ra - ging lerce de - sire 

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To 



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Hatter, hatter,cea8e your clatter, go. Hatter, hatter, cease your clatter. Hatter, batter, cease your clatter, Hatter, hatter, batter. 






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Prin - ter, prin - ter, take a bin - ter, go. Printer, printer, lake a hinder, Printer, printer, take a binto-, Printer, printer, printer, 

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go> Hatter, batter, cease your clatter, clatter, cease yrur clat - ter, go 






go. Printer, printer, take a hint^ bint^er, take a bint-^er, goi 









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If on that you're bent, 











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Box. 



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-M~m-m-mz 



Here is my receipt for rent 



Your re - 



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If yon come to tbat, sir. 







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II yoa come to that, 8lr — 



Here- is mine> 
^ Cox. // 



Mur - der I 



He can set - tie the bat • ter, turn out the manl 






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£nfer Bouncer. 



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Bonn - cer t 



Boun - cer! 



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Ra-ta-plan, 



Ra - ta-plan, Ra - ta - plan, Ra-ta-plan, Rat-a - plan. 



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Boun - cer ! 



Bonn-cerl 




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^ 



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:^—zi=:^=zr- 



^ZI^^EEE EE=E=^E Et 



- 1^ ;» > 1 — \^—\^ 

:t— y g '_L EE= =tz^t^E=E 



__! — I 1- 

— I — I — •-(- 



mrrztiirt 



-^^ 'r-h 



-- 1- 



A 



\»t time. 



Id time. 



'lilt r i^ zf^ 



i 



^ 



_ ^ , « . /Box. **Wh»t do yott mean by •InsflBg Rataplan, BlrVX _,,„^ 

plan, Ra-ta-plan, Ka-ta-\co<. "What do )»• mean byaiagiDgiutapiaD.eirt'v piau 

^ __(2r:zr!!rr"rr7r~~Trr!rr 

=EE^Er^t=z:*^z»£;lEEEE^Tzrt^=£ 



a^ 



PB 



plan, Ra-U-plan, Ra-U-dJir.'gfTirriJ."''"'' 



gz*zr*^3; 

b^ — k— h^ — ^ — ■- 



^ 



\ plan. 

C23 



:^:==ff: 



■^-fc^-t fc^-*>^ 



/Box. ' Taty wall, Sir." 



' V.T( wall. Sir." 



) 



.. ,._j__t__?L^ 




Omp aiMl Smi.-SO. 



31 



Box. Instanay remove that hatter I 

Cox. Inamediately turn out that printer' 

BOUN. Well — bin, geiitlemen — 

Cox. Explain ! _ [puUi'n^ kimarouTuL 

Box. Explain! (pullinff him armind.) Whose room is this i 

Cox. Yee — whose t(K>iii is this? 

Box. Doesn't it beloi.g lu me? 

BoCN. No I 

Cox. There I You here, sir — it belongs to me I 

BouN. No — it belongs to both of yon I 

Box:( Both of «s! 

BouN. Ob, yes ! gents, don't be angry — but yon see, tliip pentlcmaii— (;»tn((»7 In 
Sox) — only being al home in the day time, imd that L'entleiiiHn — (jmintliig to Cox) — 
at niglit, I thought I uiiglit venture, until my little back second door room was ready — 

Box I (WW"'?)- When will your little back second Hoor room be ready t— 

BouN. Why, tomorrow — 
Cox. I'll take it I 
So will 1 1 
Excuse ir.e — but if you both take it, you may just as well stop where you 



Box 
BouN 

are 

Botli. 

Cox. 

Box. 
now i^o — 

Cox. Go f 

BCUN 

here — 

Both. 



True. 

I spoke first, sir — 

With all my heart, sir. 

Pooli — pooh — I 
Now don't quarrel, gentlemen. 

Then put it up ! 



The little back second floor room is yours, sir — 



Tea see, there used to be a partition 



Kow, 



Nay, I'll see if I can't get the other room ready this very day. 
officers, don't light, but keep your tempers. [Exit L. c. i). 



HoiiN. 
gents and 

Cox. What a disgusting position ! [walHng rapidly round the stage. 

Box. {fitting down on cfuiir, at one side o/ table, and following Cox's movements) 
Will you allow ine to observe, if you have not had any exercise to-day, you'd better 
go oat and take il I 



CoX. I shall not do anything of the sort, sir. 

{seating himself a' the table opposite Bo» 
Box Very well, sir. 

Cox. Very well, sir? However d.-^n't let me prevent yow from goiu^r out 
Box. Don't flatter youreelf, sii'. (Cox w about tx> tr^aJc a piece oj the toil of \ 



Halloa I that's my loll, sir, — [snnlclies il away—pntx a yi'pc to Ai» nunUh, and lights J 
ece of finder — puff's smoke across the tah/e i«i»0T-ij Cox.) 
Halloa ? What are you about, sir t 



with a piece t 
Cox. Ha 

Box. What am I about i I'm about to smok' 
Cox. Wbeugh! [goes to the wind<'ii' ni Bo-x'n /■■ict,andJtingiitopeH. 

Box. Halloa ! (turning rouiui) Put down tha' win'iow, sir I 
Cox. Then piit your pipe out, sir 1 

Box. There I \puts jnpe on the tnhle. 

Cox. There! [slam, down wiruiow and re-seats himxelf. 

Box. I shall roiiie to my pillow. { gets up, takes off his yxcket^ then goes tawurdt 
bf'l and sits upoh it L. '".) 

( 'oX. ( jumps 'tp 5o»T to bed and sits doirn on B. o^Boi.) I betf your pardon, sii^ 
I cannot allow nuy o»« lo rumple my beu, [both rising. 

Box. Jo«r bull ! H irk ye, sir, can yjii fight? 

No, sir. 

No? Tlieu cnme on — [.sparring at Cox. 

Sit down, sir- i>r I'll instantly vociferate "Police I" 

(seats himse//—iia\ does the same) 1 say, sir 

Well, sii i 

Although we are doomed to occupy the same room for » ffw hours longer, 
I don't see any necessiiy for our cutting each other's throat, sir. 
Cox. Not at ail. It's an operation that I should decidedly object to. 

And, after all, I've no violent animosity against you, sir i 

Nor have I any rooted antipathy to you, sir. 

Besides, it was all Bouuctr 8 lault, sir. 

Entirely, sir [gradually approaching chair. 

Very well, eirl 
Cox. Very well, sir! [i>ause. 

Box. Take a bit of roll, sir J 

Cox. Thank ye, sir. [breaking a lit off— paiue. 

Box. Do you sing, sir t 
Cox, 1 sometimes dabble in a serenade. 
Box. Then dabble away. 



Cox. 
Box. 
Cox. 
Box. 
Cox. 
Box. 



Bo.x. 
Co.x. 
Box. 
Cox. 
Box. 



THE BUTTERCUP. 



AUegretto am espressione. 



(DUET SERENADE.) 



«•• 



Cox. — The but-ter-cup dwells on the 
Box.— The flow - er - et tihioes on the 





> > K K l ^JZiir: 



*=s= 



low - ly mead, The dai-sy is bright lo see ; 
min-ar - et fair, The Dah - lia waves In the breeze, 



*-F m-\-W~\ 




But bright - er far are the eyes that read The Iho'ts in the heart of 
The cock-cha-fer sighs in the mid - night air, The Dick-y bird sings in the 





^^ 



ii=rs: 



:is=S= 



itcqc: 



t*is=^-t|;* 



^ ^^ = ^^- 



:j=M. 



I come by night, I come by day, I come in the mom to sing my lay j I know my notes, I 
I come by day, I nev - er, ah nev- er can stay a - way j If you the gui-lar can 



by night. 




Omi »n* Boat.— at. 



32 



rau. Box. a tempo. Cox. Box. 



count . 
sweet 



eachbar, And I've learnt^^ ^a^ t^^_e .....on .^h^e gay... gui- 1^, Fid-4.e - id- die - dmn, FidwUe - id-dle-nm, Fid-die- id - die- 



colla voce. 



.-)_!]_ 



-i* -m 






a tempo. 

__-5_«,_*;:z:i:d- 



r=i=:^^r^i 






9=3E1E£ 



_-; •) — -_q. 



fl^ 



Box. 



Box. 



-X. 



^ 



dum, 



Cox. 



dim. 



I come 
P 



by night, 






Fid-die- id- die, id-die, id - die, id-die- duni,.Fiddle-iddle-um, Fiddle-iddlc-dum. Fiddle-iddleiim, Fiddle iddle - dum, Fid-dle-id-dle-um, Fid-dle-id-dle- 




1 r— j 1 1 h 

^: tj?a- 






:dMi=z: 



P 




^l^^ilEEglSRlEi^^iii: 



by day, 



I come in the mora to 



sing 



^^- 



^ 



my lay ; 



I know 



my notes. 






dum, Fiddle-iddle-um, Fiddle-iddle - dum, Fid-dlcid-dle-um, Fid-dle-id-dle- dum, Fid-dle-id-dle-um, Fid-dle-id-dle - dum. Fid-dle-id-dle-dum, Fid-dle-id-dle 



-=i^:^- 



-K N- 



-J I ^- 



'« — 5:1- 









1 




-->- 






:«=^ 



:3=:= 




^=5"E 



count 



each bar, 



And I've learnt 






a tune on the gay 



MEmM^^^ 



^t^ES: 



fi — 



gui - tar, on the 






- dum, Fid-dle-id-dle-dum, Fiddle-id - die- dum. Fid-dle-iddle-dum,dum.dum,dum. la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, 

i-w ._> _ — jri 



=*===^==i^— =*= 




i 






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era^ 



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-51 !1- 



C»ae and Box.— 32. 



33 



f aim. 

*^' U. la. Ia. la. U. IL la. U. Ik. la. la. la. la. U. U. la. la. la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, 






f g i - 



■sm=^ 



-^m-: 



± 



gai - tar,. 



the gay gui - 



~ ^ ^ ~ — m ' p — r — -^ ' ' - » ^ - 

la, la, la, la, la, ll, la, la, U, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, 

I t J .Ik... ^^^^ 




P 



::5=i^ 



:^s=3c 



* — L^ — 



:t«=rp- 



?^* 



^, 1>^ g- 



^ 



- tar) 



I know my notes, 



I count each bar, I've learnt a 



tune on the gay gui 



-%— »- 



± 



^ la, Fiddle-iddle-um, Fiddle-iddle - dum, Fid-dle-id-dle-nra, Fid-dle-id-dle - dum, Fid-dle-id-dle-dum , Fid-die- id- die - dnm, on the gay gni - 

J- 




-fcl?=^ rtzS^e^rq 




D.a. 


iJ Time. 


-I* — • — t- 


8P(t. foco. 

rl U 


■ 1 „ 

«i 1 1 r 1^ 






p 

h « « r -i I 


« .•. 


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-^ ¥ 




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& J^ 


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r ■ ■ 


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fe^5=J 


-m 



|Cox plavi o» the gridiron litt a guUar. Box lakes an. opera hai and imitaU* Oit conctrtina. \ 

Cox Yna'll excuse me. sir— bat, at present, I don't exactly understand how yor 



lk>X. Have you reaH thi month's Bradphiiw, sir ' 

Cox. No. sir— my wife wmildn't let me. 

Box Yourwi/e.' Cox Tli:it is— my tn(en<f«/ wife 

Box Well ihai's tlie 8«me thing! I conjtnilulate yon \shalciiu} hands 

Cox. (mOi. a deep tufk.) Thank ve {t'eing hox about to get up.) Yon neeiln't 
dirtnrb yourself, sir, "he won't come here 

Box Oil I understand. You've not u snuK little establishment of your o*u 
A*r(» — on the slv — cunnini; doi: — [nndfjing Cox.l 

Cox (iliawiiuj himxnlf up ) No such tiling' air — I repeat, sir. no such thinir, fir : 
imt my wife — I mean mv intended wife happens to ^e the proprielorof a considerable 
nnmltei of bathing raacliinps — 

Box '.suddenly.) Hal Wlierel ( ^nupiTi^ Cox's onn. 

Cox At a fav<irite watering place How cnrions von aro I 

Box NolMtall Well? 

Cox. Co iBeqnenlly, in the liathina oeaBim— which Inckily is -nther a long one— 
we see hue li'tle of each other; hul as tliat is now over. I am d.iily indulging in the 
expectr.tion of beinir blessed with the siifhi of mv Iwloved (veiy seriously.) Are you 
mameo'i Box Me? Why — notexacilv! 

Cox Ah— a hntiiiv hachelort Box Why— not precisely ! 

Cox Oh a— wi.lower' Box. No— not abcolntely I 

Owe and Box.—SS, 



can help being one of the three. 

H< >x N.)t help it ? Cox. No, sii^not yon, nor any other man alive I 

Box. Ah, that mav be— bat I'm not alive I ,.,.,. 

Cox. (pushing back his chair.) You'll excuse me, sir- but I don't like joking npo» 
snch subjects. , t ■ ■ 

Box. Bill 1 am perfectly seri jiis, sir, Tve been defunct for the la«» three years i 

Cox. (sKmUing.) Will you f e qniet, sir ? 

Box. If yon won't believe n e, I'll refer yon to a very large, nomeioiu, and r» 
spectalile circle of disconsolate f iendii. 

Cox. My very dear sir — -on; »«ry 'lear sir — if there does exist any ingenious con 
trivance wherehr i nia.i on ilii e*e ..f committing matrimony can leave this world, 
and vet stop in ii, I nhnnldn't be sorry to know i« . . - . n . , 

Box. Oh ! then I presume I'm not to set you down as being frantically illached 
to vonr iiit4>nded. ... , t_ i • 

Cox Why not exactly : and yet, at present. I m only aware of one obstacle U 
to niv doaiing noon her, and that is, that I can't abide her. 

Box Then there « nothing more easy. Do as I did. 

(;<)X (eagerly). I will 1 What is it? Box. Drown yonrself! 

Cox. (jAnitiii^ <yoi».) Will you be quiet, ear I Box. U«K«-— 



34 



"THREE YEARS AGO." 

(ROMANCE.) 





mm 



Allegretto eommodo. 



BOX 



W 



t 



Not long a - go it 



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cox 



at=i 



-^ — ^ 



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was my fete to cap - ti - vate a wi - dow At Rams-gate ; I, 'tis odd to stat«, Tlie same at Margate 



fet 



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BOX 



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T 



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did, oh ! By her not lik - ing to "be kiss'd I thought I'd bet - ter try to In the Life Guards or 



+4 



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'P (I tempo. 



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BOX 



-N- 



S=v- 



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Blues en - list ; How odd ! and so did I too. 



I was not tall e 



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Bom and Cos.— J<. 



35 






-# — #- 



k BOX 



oox 



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nough, they said ; Too short they said, of me;.... The in - fan - try I en - ter - ed, And I the In -fen- 



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BOX 



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/TS COX 



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2 



t'=r 



:n^=P- 



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-• — 0- 



-• — r 



tf 



fret?/ My wi - dow of-fer'd to pur-chase my dijscharge from the marching line, oh ! That's odd, co - in - ci- 



'^ 



ti — ^ 



-X' #■ 



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ti 



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W n tempo. 



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t 



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i 



BOX 



^ 



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S* 



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:fei=^ 



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t=t^ 



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tf 



den- tal - ly, The ve - ry same did mine, oh! I" hes - i - ta- ted to con -sent. For my con-sent she 

e33_ 



w^m 



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E 



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— ^^^ 

wai - ted, I gave it Ah ! with mine I went, And nev - er hes - i - la - ted. 



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^^^J colia voce. 






s 



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Bia» m»d Ocm.—SS. 






36 



S 



«fe= 



/^BOX 



*^ 



I 



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-V- 



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-I h- 



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-b-V- 



The 



hap - py day came near at length, We hop'd it would be sun - ny, 1 



# 






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w? 









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found 1 need - oA all my strength To face the cer - e - mo 



ny, I sud - den - ly found out 1 was un . 

tr 



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f 



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i 



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-N 



g 



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tf — w — w — fe^ — fe^ 

- wor-thy to pos-sess her, I told her so at once be -cause I fear'd it might dis- tress her. Be- 

i: tr _±: tr ^ tr 

-i — #H — r ^i P • ■ 




m 



m 



/TN 



fcff 



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i 



I: 



fore the words were out of my mouth, There came from the North and flew to the South, A 



i 



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P 



S 



_^_ 



^ 



tfoa and Vm.St. 



rt 



i 



S S N " 



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— ( 1 1 1 ' t 



-m d m r 



V— K— N— V-N— K 



^SS 



H r-^ h- 



37 

s—N — V-N— N- 



• • 



m—m—m—id- 



some-tliiu}? that came un -pleas- ant - Jy near, t'lat-ter-iug, spat-ter-ing, bat-ter-ing,.Shat-ter-ing, Dadi-ing,cla.slung, 



w 



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g 



i=45z=:f5^=^=-^ 






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S d 






d d 



t=S: 



^ 



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smash -ing, fla.sh - ing, slash - ing, crash - ing, miss - ing, but whiz-zing right pa.4 my ear. 



i 



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m 



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si 



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It shat-ter'd it - self on the man- tel pieo« whop ! 



-+— I- 



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n- 



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cox BOX 



?S^ 



^ 



Allegro molto. 



-i5>- 



^=^ 



^ 



What was it? Ah!trem-ble! the ha - sin call'd Slvp. 



It fell at my feet, it 




Hum aMi Bom.— 91. 



38 



I 



i: 



i 



§44 



-N N— -- N ^- 



# 9 



—I • — I— 



9 4 W l 



3 



S 



would have 



put the l«ck of a man who was ev - er so meek up, So 




I I I 11 I I '( I-* 1 i 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 H-J 1 1 1 ' !-• ^ ■ 1 1 1 . 1 1 i H— i 1 \ 1 1 1— 



I 



I. 



-N N- 



t< N- 



:S=^ 



■ ^ ^ ^ 



N N 



-PS N- 



-* #- 



-V #- 



4dm 



be - ing thus bait - ed, 1 re - tal - i - a - ted, And hnrl'd at my wi - dow a 




^''^rf *'^'^^r ^ ***5: 



^ — ', — I — I — ^ 



I 



i: 



<7\ COX 



Recit. 



BOX 



^3E 



-S 4- 



i- 



-P»e-4v-^^— N— N— V 



9 9 9 9 4 



--if^ 



Between you, then, there was a frac-tion, 



■9 — 9 



9—^ ^ 



crock 



If 



:«: 



e - ry tea - cup. 



And I wasthreaten'dwitha 



/TV 



-1 — I — I — I — ^■ 



-• 9 \ 9 \ 9 



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/ 

-M- 



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COX 



/TN 



BOX 



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:t=^ 



N — N — N 



cox 



^ m d d 4 d-9f-^ 



r-^ 



f-^-^-4—40s^ 



i£ - tion, del ! pro-ceed. 



One mom. when 1 had fln-ish'd my ab - lu - tion, I took- a 



:| 



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Om* wmI Beoi.— M. 



39 



Andante 






*=i-r-^—f- J i f f 



? 



^ 



walk ? No, sir, a re - so 



lu - tion. 







i^ 



Friends or foes. None snp-pose. 



No bo - dy 
-I SJ 



[§^ 



f-^ r rt^ !' 



f^- 



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I tie up my clothes. My shirt and my hose, My socks for my toes, My 



knows what I does. 



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li - nen for nose, I think of ray woes, And un - der the rose I pack up my bnn-dle, and 



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off I goes. Cox. (Spoken.) Ba 1 1 nee jon left In a tiff I Lis -ten. 



I fio-lemn-ly walk'd to the cliff, And 



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Un poeo pin ttto. 



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sing - ing a sort of a dnl - - cet 



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down my bun - - die np- 



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on the verge, 



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Heard the wild wa-gull's mourn - fill cry, Look'd all a - round, there was 

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no-bod-y nigh, None but I on the cliff so high, And all save the sea was bare and dry, And I 

^45, kfi^ kti 



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took one look on the wave be - low. And 1 rais'd my hands in an ag - o - ny throe, And I 

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C'«« and Box.— 40. 



41 






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stood on the edge of the rock so steep.Andl gaz'd like a maniac on the deep ... 1 cried: "Fare 



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well, lare-we!I to earth, 

Flute. 



Fare-well, fere-well to the land of my birth. Fare-well, fare-well, to my 

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on - ly love, To the sea be - low. And the sky a - bove ! " With a glance at the sea of wild des 








**iK> an* Bom.— 41. 



42 




J, ^ Allegro tempo pnmo. 



cox 



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chalk'd, 'iTien a - way. 



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In the op-po-site way 1 walk'd. What a 



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clev-er man, What a cap-i-tal plan, I've lis-tened flith at - t«n - tion, I thinji that 1 should 



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What a clev - er man, What a cap - i - tal plan, I've 



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like to try Your won-der-ful in - ven -tion. What a clev-er man. What a cap -i- tal plan. You've 



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43 



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ii>Ttesed witii at - ten - tion, If you like it, ttliy.Shou.dyou not try My won-der-fiiJ in-ven-tion. 



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listened with at - ten - tioii, 1 tliiuk that I .Should like to try Your won- der - tiij in-ven-tion. 



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Cox Dear nie! I think I be^n fr> have flome sliifht perceplioti of your nieniii»ff. 
Ai^'eniuiis creature ! you disappeared — the suit of clothen waa found — 

Box. Exactly — and in one of the pockets of the coat, or the waistcoat, or the 
paiilaloona — I foi-get which — there was also found a piece of paiwr, with these iif 
fectiuK farewell woids;— "This is thy work, oh, Peuelope Ann! 

Cox. Penelope Ann* {starts up^ takfs Cox by the Arm and leads him siowlt; to 
f i-o Hi oj stage) Penfloiie Ann! 

Box. Pene[(ipe Ann I 

Cox. Oriifiually widiw of William WigginsI 

Box. Widow of William WigginsI 

Cox. Proprietor of bathing mochiues? 

Box. Proprietor of bathing machines I 

Cox. At Margate T 

Box. And i^msgate. 

Cox It Tnnsl be she I And yon, sir— yon are Box— the lamented, long lost Box ! 

Box. I am ! 

Cox And I waa aboat to marry the interesting creature yon so cmellv deceived. 

Box Ah I then yon are Cox ! 

Cox lam! 

Box I heard of it. I congratulate yon— I give yon jov! and now, I think I'll 
ffo and take a stroll. ' [ goiruj. 

Cox. Jfo yon don't (stoppinq him) V\\ not lose sight of vou till Fve restored 
you to the arms of V!)nr intended. 

Box Ml/ intende I 7 You mean yoar intended. 

Cox. No, sir — yours* 

Box How can she he my intended, now that I am drowned ? 

Cox. You're no such ihiu/. sir! I prefer presentini; you to Pelielope Ann. Per- 
uit me, then, to follnw the generous iuipnlsa of my nature — I give her np to von. 

Box Benevolent being! 1 wouldn't rob vou for the world (going). Good morn 



ing. sir ! 
Cox 
Box 
Cox. 
Box. 



{seizing Aim) Stop ! 

Dniiand ine. hatter! or I shall cast off the lamb and nssnine the linn ! 
PooXi ! ' \s7uijyping hisfinqers in Box's face. 

An insult ! to my very face — nnder my very nose ! '{ruhhing it) You know 
'he conseqnences. sir, — instant satisfnction, air! 

Cox. With all my heart, sir I (they go to fireplace R. and begin ringing bell vio- 
Htilty, and pull d^mn belt pulls.) 
Both. Boancer ! Bouncer ! 

Boon, runs in D. L. c. all thret sing RATAPLAN, and stop t« the middle: 

What is it gentlemen I 
Pistols for two I 
Yes sir 
Stop ! Yon don't mean to say. tLongbtl) 



Bo UN. 
Box. 
Cox 
Box 



^a keep loaded fire-arms in the booae. 



and misguided militiaman, that 



BouN. 

Box. 

Box. 

Cox. 

Box. 

Cox. 

Box. 



[exit BODNCEB, L. c. 



Oh, no — they're not loaded. 
Then produce the murderous weapons instantly. 
I sav, sir! 
Well, sir. 

What's your opinion of duelling, sirt 
I think It's a barbarons practice, sir. 

So do I, sir. To be sure, I don't so much object to it when the pistols ara 
not loaded. 

Cox. No : I daresay that does make some difference. 

Box. And yet. sir— on the other hand— doesn't it strike yon as rather a waste of 
time, for two people to keep firing pistols at one anotlier with nothing in 'em. 

Cox. No, sir- no more than atiy other harmless recrejition. 

Box. Hark ye ! Why do yon object to marry Penelope Ann ? 

Cox. Because, as Tve already observed, I can't abide her. You'll be happy with 
her 

Box. Happy ! me ? with the conscionsuess that I have deprived you of such a 
treasure 7 No, no, Cox ! 

Cox. Don't think of me. Box — I shall be sufficiently rewarded by the knowledge 
of my Box's happiness. 

Box. Don't he absurd, sir. 

Cox. Then don't yon be ridiculons, sir. 

Box. I won't have her I 

Cox. No more will 1 1 

Box. I have it! Suppose we draw lota for the lady— eh, Mr. Coxl 

Cox. That's fair enough. Mr. Box. 

Box. Or, what say yon to dice ? 

Cox With all mv heart ! Dice bv all means. [eagerly. 

Box. (aside.) That's lucky ! Bouncer's nephew left a pair here yesterday. He 
sometimes persuades me to have a throw for a trifle, and as lie always tlirowa sixes, 
I suspect thev are cood ones, (goes to niphoard at ii. and brings out diet box.) 

Cox. (aside) I've no objection at all to dice. I lost one pound seventeen and 
sixpence, at last Bai-net Races to a very gentlemanly-looking man, who hwl a moet 
peculiar knack of throwing sixes— I sns'iiected thev were loaded, so I gave him an. 
other half-crown and he gave n e the dice, (tatrs din out n/ his pocket — use Ivci/er boi 
as mbslilule for direJ'Ox, tchich is on the table.) 

Box. Now then, sir! 

Cox. I'm ready, sir! (they seat themselves *t tppesile tides of the table.) Wili jot 
lead off sir? 

Box. As yon please, sir. Tlie lowest throw, of coune, wins Penelope Ann « 

Cox. Of conrse. sir! 

Box. Very well, sir! 

Cox. Very well, sir' 

Box. {rattling die* ana Jhrottistg.i 



0»m i»»4 Bom.~4X. 



44 



THE GAMBLING DUET. 

"SIXES." 



Allegro non troppo. 



Box. 



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Six-es. 



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Six-es. 



Six-es. 



Six-es. 



-** — m -' — m—m -i — • 



^8^^E3EJeEE± 




Cox and Boog.— 44. 



OhI ve • ry well. 




that 



will do, 



45 



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nev-er have heard of such won - der-ful throws as I've seen with those. Ob t 



Cox. 



Oh I this is ab-surd, 
/ 



-If* 



Six-ea. 



r:g-g? 



Ohl Ibis is ab-surd, I nev - er have heard of such won - der-iiil throws as I've seen with those. Ob t 

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CMi <n>Wi Be<B.— 4X. 






46 






iV^ZV 



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this is ab-8urd, I nev - er have heard of such wod - der-ful throws as I've seen with those. 



Six - ea. 






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this is ab-surd I nev - er have heard of such won - der-ful throws as I've seen with those. 



Six - es. 



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Loolis like tricksies. Six - es. 



:^iiii-;i^^-=. 



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Looks like Irick-sies ; with such a throw there's no - led - y can Ev er 



Looks like tricksies, 



Six - es, 



Looks like trick-sles with such a throw there's no - bod - y can Ev - er 













ft s .** > 






set - tie the case of Pe - ne - lo - pe Ann, With such a throw tlicre's no - bod - y can Ev - er set - tie the case of Pe 









-w---^ 






t-_*=gi. 



li 



set - tie the case of Pc - ne - lo - pe Ann, Willi such a throw llicrc's no - bod - y can Ev - er set - tie the case of Pe 




^=ss 



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ne - lo - pe Ann, of Pe - ne - lo - pe, el - o - pe, ne - lo - pe, el - o - pe Ann. 






ite - k> - pe Ann, of Pe - ne - lo - pe, el - o - pe, ne - lo - pe, el - o - pe Ann. 



3. 



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Box. It B (lerfectty abaiird your ^oing on tlirowing sixes ill this sort of way. 
Oox. I almll go oil till my luck chaugei. 
Cos and £o«.— 40. 



Box. I have ft — snppose we toss for the ladj 
Cox. Witt) all my heart 



-O-sf- 



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aitaeca. 



47 



fe 






BOX {„side.] 



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♦ . — ^ 



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COX („s/(/c) 



Where's my luck - y f*hil - lintrV 



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Where's ray toss - in^ six - jK'ncei' 



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Where's my luck - y 



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Where's my toss - ing six 



P 



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Box. Now then, hlr— hends win 7 

Cox. Or tails lose — whichever yow prefer 

Box. It's the same to me, sir. 



Cox. Very well, t<ir. Heails. I win— tails jou lose. 

Bo.x. Yea — {siiddcii/i/j no. Heads win, air. 

Cox. Very well — go on ! iThei/ are standintf opjioaite to eacft tAhm-. 



Dialogue continues. 





^^ 



Cox mnd Rox.—47. 






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48 



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[ ^^aI( here for cue,) 
•• Very well, sii " 



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BOX 



COX 



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Head! 



Head! 



Head ! 



Conld'nt yon say somethin}; 



:| 



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COX 



BOX 



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else instead ! 



Head! 



Head! 



I wish an oc - ca- sion-al 



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BOX 



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tail you'd try. 



Head 



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Coa» an<f Box. — M. 






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Head! 



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49 



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COX 



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Head! 



I nail your ai-pence ; hallo ! it's got no 



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I've a mindtopitchyou out on the leads! 



SE^tfe 



— ii' 1- 



cox 



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Your shil-ling, I find has got two heads ! 










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5i=z3f rsqr^v 



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You swind-ler, you cheat, lake care of my feet, Out of my room, sir. And in - to the street. 






Presto. 



=*-'- 



Vou swind ler, you cheat, take care of my feet, Out of my room, sir, Anl In - to the street. 



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{Enter Bouncer, as usual, quite equal to the occasUm.J 

Bouncer. 



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Is the little back second floor room ready II 

'Not quite, ^rentlemeu. I can't find the (listols, but I have brought you a 
• " .^ . _. j._ I am sure I don't know how I came 



Box. 
Cox. 

Bonn. -, , ^ 

letter— it came by the General Post yesterday, 
to forget it, for I put it caiefullv in my pocket. 

Cox. And you've kept it carefully in your (lockel ever since ? 

BOUN. Yes, sir. I hope you'll forgive me, sir. {Going.) By-the-by, I paid two- 
pence for it. , , . , , 

Cox. Did you? Then I do forgive you. (Erit Bocn, D. h. C loohng al letlei.) 
" Margate." The post mark decidedly says " Margate." 

Box. Oh, doubtless a tender epistle from Penelope Ann. 

Cox. Then read it, fir. [Banding Utter to Box. 

Box. Me, sir 7. , , , . j j 

Cox Of course. You don't suppose I m goint to read a letter from yonr intended. 

Box. ify intended ? Piioli ! It's addressed to you— C O X. 

Cox. Do yon think that's a C 1 It looks to me' like a B. 

Box. Nonsense ! fractnre the zeal. 

Cox. {opening Utter — starts). Goodness gracious ! 

Box. {snatching letter — starts). Gracious gonduess ! 

Cox. [taking letter again). " Margate— May the 4th. Sit,- 1 hasten to convey 
to you the intelligence of a melancholy accident, which has bereft you of jour in- 
tended wife." He means )/<""' intended. 

Box. No, i/OTirj.' However, it's perfectly immaterial. Goon. 

Cox. {resuming letter). '-Poor Mrs. Wiggins went out for a short excursion in a 
sailin" boat— a sudden and violent squall soon after took place, which, it is supposed, 
opeet'her, as slie was found, two days afterwards, keel upwards." 

Box. Poor woman ! 

Cox. The boat, sir ! (Reading ) " As her man of business, I immediately pro- 



ceeded to examine her papers, amongst which I soon discovered her will ; the fol- 
lowing extract from which, will, I have no doubt, be satisfactory to you. " I hereby 
bequeath my entire property to my intended husband.' Excellent, but unhappy 

creature. t"^*';'"- 

Box. Generous, ill fated being. [affected. 

Cox. And to think that I tossed up for such a woman. 

Box. When I remember that I staked such a treasure on the hazard of a die. 

Cox. I'm sure, Mr. Box, I can t sufficiently thank you for your tvmpathy. 

Box. And I'm sure, Mr. CoX, you conldn'i feel more, if she had been your own 
intended. 

Cox. If she'd been my men intended ! She was my ovpn intended. 

Box. Your intended 1 Come, I like thai ! Didn't yon very properly observ* 
just now, sir, that I proposed to her first 1 

Cox. To which you very sensibly replied that you'd come to au unUmely end. 

Box. I deny it 

Cox. I say you have ! 

Box. The fortune's mine ! 

Cox. Mine! 

Box. I'll have it ! 

Cox. So will II 

Box. I'll go to law ! 

Cox. So will I ! , , 

Box. Stop— a thought strikes me. Instead of going to law about the propertr, 

suppose we divid« it. 

Cox. Equally. 

Box Equally. I'll take two tt'.rde. 

Cox Thai's fair enough— and I'll lake three fourths 

Box. That won't do. Half and half. 



Ooo) and Box.— 59. 



53 



Cox. Agreed ! 'riiefe'fl my hand upon it — 

Box And m\nt;~{abatit to shake harids~~a postman's tnoci heard at tha sUtet door.) 

(Jox. Halluu! PoBimiiu a^aiu ! 

Bt>x. Poatumu yeslerday— uoptniau to-day — 

Enla- BouNCEK, D. L. c. 

BoUN. Another letter, Colonel Cox — twopence morel 

Cox. I forgive you iigaiu ! {talciny UtUr.) Another trifle from Margate. {Opens 
iettef — starts.) Goodness gi-aciouB ! 

Box {snatching letter — starts.) Grucions goodness I 

Cox {snatching Utter again — reads.) " tluppy to inforui you, false alarm." 

Box ( overlooking ). " Sudden squall — boat upset — Mrs. Wi<;gin8, your intended" — 

Cox. " Picked up by sleambouf — 

Box "Carried into Boulogne'' — 

Cox. " Retumeii liere this morning" — 

Box. " Will start by early train Kt-morrow " — 

Cox. "And be with you at ten o'clock exact." 

[Both simultaneously pnll out their uatches. 

Box. Cox, I congratulate vou — 

Cox Box, I give you joy ! 

Box. I'm sorry thai most importJint business at the Colonial i>ffice will prevent 
my witnessing the truly Imppy meeting between yomind your intended. Good 
morning. [Guing. 

Cox. {stop/ring him). It's obviously for me to retire. Not for worlds would I 
disturb ihe rapturous meeting between you and yonr iutended. Good morning! 

Box. You 11 excuse me, sir— bat our last arrangement was that aiie was your 
intended. 

Cox. No, yours! 

Box. Yours ! 

T^ogether. Yoars ! [IVti (/dock strikes— noise of an omnibus. 

Box. Ha ! What's ilmt ! A cab's drawn up at the door ! ( Runniiuj to window.) 
No— it's a twopenny omnilms \ 

Cox (leaning over \\n\' a sit milder). A lady's got out — 

Box. There's no nii.siuking that majestic person — it's Penelope Ann ! 

Cox. Your intended f 

Box. Yours ! 

Cox. Yours ! ( Both rwn to dom\ l. C, and eagerly listen. 

Box. Hark — she's coming up stairs. 

Cox. Shut the door ! 

[They slam th^ door^ and both lean against it with their backs. 

BoiTN. {leitfiout, and knocking). Colonel! 

Cox {xhouting). I've just stepped out! 

Box. So have I! 

HoDN. {without). Mr. Cox ! {pushina at the door — Cox and Box redoid/le tfieir 
effirrts t» keep the door shut.) Open the doorl It's only me — Sergeant Bouncer. 



Cox. Only you t Then where'a the lady f 
BouN. Gone! 
Cox. Upon your honor 1 
Box. Ah a Militiaman } 

BouM. Yes : and she's left a note for Brigadier Cox. 
Cox. Give it to me. 
BouN. Tlien open the doorl 

C OX Pni it under 1 {A Utter is put under tJte dooi\ Cox picks up thA Utter wuf 
ojtens U ) Goodness gracious ! 

Box {siialchina Utter). Gracious goodness ! (Cox snatclies tite Utter, and runs 
forward^ followed by Box.) 

Cox [reading). "Dear Mr. Cox— Pardon my caud(»r" — 

Box looking over, and reading). " But being convinced that our feelings, like oiu 
ages, do not recipiocate " — 

Cox. " 1 hasten to apprize you of my immediate nnion ' — 
Box. '* With Mr. Knox." 
Cox. Huzza I 

Box. Three cheers for Knox. Ha, ba, ha! {Tosses the Utter in the airland be- 
gins dancing. Cox does the same.) 

BoUN. {putting his fuad in at dooj'). The little second floor back room ib qnii« 
reaiiy ! 

I don't want it. 
Ni> more <lo 1 1 
What shall part us? 
What bball tear us asunder? 
Box. 

Cox. (Aho7U to embrace — Box stops., seize? Cox*8 hand^ and looks eagerly in 
You'll excuse ihe apparent insiinity of the remark, but the more I gaz« 



Cox 

Box. 

Cox. 

Box. 

Cox. 

Box. 
his face.) 

on vour features, the more I'm convinced that you're my long lost brother. 

Cox. The very ob6ervati{)n I whs going to make to you I 

Box. Ah — tell me — iti mercy tell me — have you such a thing us a strawberry 
mark on vour left arm ? 

Cox. "No! 

Box. Then it is he ! [ They rush into each ot/ter's anns. 

Cox. Of course we stop where we are ? 

Box. Of course. 

Cox. For, between you and me, I'm rather pflrtial to this house. 

Box So am I — I begin to feel quite Ht home ni iL 

Cox. Everytliing so clean and comfortable. 

Box. And I'm sure the master of it, from what I have seen of him, is very anx 
ions to please. 

Cox. So he is — and I vote, Box, that we stick by him I 

Box. Agreed ! 



"MY HAND UPON IT. 



)» 



(FINALE.) 



BOX 



COX 




Moderato. ^.-^ 



My band up - on it, join but yours; A - gree the house will hold us, And 




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UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS-URBANA 

Q M7e2,6SU5C19- COOl 

COX AND BOX: OR THE LONG LOST BROTHERS. 



3 0112 015436568