Chinese merry tales

CORNELL

UNIVERSITY

LIBRARY

THE WASON

CHINESE
COLLECTION

Cornell University Library
PN 6222.C5W87

Chinese merry tales /

3 1924 023 401 411

The original of tiiis book is in
tile Cornell University Library.

There are no known copyright restrictions in
the United States on the use of the text.

http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924023401411

Chinese Itlerry Cales

TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH BY

Y. T. WOO, Mem. of Am. Inst, of M. E.

Authoi of " Practical Chemistry " and " Practical PhotoSraphy."

SHANGHAI :
THE AMERICAN PRESBYTERIAN MISSION PRESS.

1909

preface.

,9?ThE object of translating tlie Chinese Merry Tales
is to give tlie English-speaking public an in-
sight to Chinese character, society, and humour.
Of the last, the majority of Europeans think that the
Chinese are lacking. I hope the Chinese students
of the English language may derive some benefit
from this book by comparing the ]translation with the
original in Chinese.

The author desires to acknowledge his indebted-
ness to Baron Guido Vitale, who collected and edited
most of the tales in this book and brought them into
Mandarin dialect.

Y. T. Woo.
ToNG Shan, January 15th, 1909.

CONTENTS.

Crafteb. Paob.

I. Vine Bowers and Their Dangers 1

II. A Self-Sacrificing Neighbor ... 1

III. The Easiest Way to Learn Chinese 2

IV. How Useful the Biggest Volumes May Be . . . 3
V. Where do you go ? ... 3

VI. Imperial Grief. . . ... ... ... ... 4

VII. The Grateful Debtor 4

VIII. Tea or Bath 5

IX. The Tamed Magistrate 5

X. Scepticism and Cruelty of Cats 5

XI. Easy Removing ... ... ... ... 6

XII. The Man Who Had More Right 6

XIII. "I Burnt Him Yesterday" 7

XIV. Asking the Road 8

XV. The Happiness of Blind Men 8

XVI. The Thirsty Dog 9

XVII. The Hen-pecked Husbands' Club 9

XVIII. Disputing about Etiquette ... 10

XIX. Unlucky Words for a Student 10

XX. The Griefs of a Literary Husband 11

XXI. Explaining the Classics 11

XXII. The Dog is a Teacher 12

XXm. " Where have I gone ? " 13

XXIV. Military Examinations 13

XXV. The Golden Ox 14

XXVL Gratefulness of a Target God 14

XXVII. Harmless Vengeance 15

XXVIII. His Wife's True Age 15

XXIX. Hiding the Spade 16

II CONTENTS.

Chaptkr. Paob.

XXX. Your Head is Too Soft 16

XXXI. The Portrait Painter 16

XXXII. The Hardships of a Tailor 17

XXXIII. Reckoning the Age ... ... ... ... 17

XXXIV. The Rope and The Ox 18

XXXV. Sorry Hemembrance ... ... ... ... 18

XXXVI. About Bridges in Soochow and Turnips in

Shantung ... ... ... ... ... 19

XXXVII. Ingenious Talking 19

XXXVIII. Kick, Please 20

XXXIX. Jealousy in Dreams ... ... ... ... 20

XL. The Shamed Thief 21

XLI. The Deaf and Dumb 21

XLII. The M^ay of Paying Half Price 21

XLIII. Take a Chair 22

XLI V. The Likeness of a Portrait 23

XLV. The Charm Against Mosquitoes 23

XLVL One Pair of Shoes for Two 24

XLVII. She is Thinking of the Boatman 24

XL VIIL The Drum of Wonder 25

XLIX. Hyprocrisy of Religious Persons and Cats... 25

L. The Hasty Man 26

LI. Riding a Tiger ... ... ... ... 26

LII. Attraction of Music ... ... ... ... 27

LIII. Hardships of Travelling ... ... ... 27

LIV. The Griefs of a Tiger 28

LV. Shensi Poetry 28

LVI. How Books May Be Useful 30

LVII. Sparing Half the Glass 30

LVIll. Very Good Fists 30

LIX. Difference of Taste 31

LX. The Taoist Priest on the Door 31

LXI. Difference in Relation ... ... ... 32

CONTENTS. m

Chaptbb. Paqb.

LXII. The Humble Moon 32

LXIII. The Ascetic Cat 33

LXIV. How Rare Are The Great Sages 33

LXV. Riches of a Beggar ... 34

LXVI. Prayers and Domestic Economy ... ... 34

LXVII. A Shoemaker in Hell 35

LXVIII. Difference in Punctuation ... ... ... 36

LXIX. How to Save a Father ... ... ... 36

LXX. Bad Luck for a Doctor ... ... ... 37

LXXI. The Charitable Deceiver 37

LXXII. Brotherly Cultivation of Fields 38

LXXIII. The Refrain of the Song 39

LXXI V. The Square Serpent 39

LXXV. The Salt Eggs 40

LXXVL Two Taels a Night 40

LXXVIL The Way of Going to Hell 41

LXXVin. How to Pay Debts 41

LXXIX. The Theft of Wine 43

LXXX. The One Thousand Taels 44

LXXXL Conversational Misunderstandings ... ... 45

LXXXn. The Price of Boots 46

LXXXIIL Sound Sleepers 46

LXXXIV. Tall Monkeys 47

LXXXV. Rich and Poor 47

LXXXVL The Boaster 47

LXXXVIL The Voyage to Soochow 49

LXXX VIIL The Two Pairs of Boots 50

LXXXIX. The Mud Shoes 50

XC. The Mosquitoes ... ... 51

XCL The Brother Liars 52

XCIL Talking of The Sky 52

XCIIL Dead by Mistake 53

XCIV. Kill Me One Half 54

IV

CONTENTS.

Chapiee.

PAOB.

xov.

How to Heal a Hunchback ...

54

XCVI.

Economy in Danger ...

54

XCVII.

Only I and a Beggar ...

55

XCVIII.

The Great Wash Tub

56

XCIX.

The Arrow Wound ...

56

c.

Unlucky Sayings

56

CI.

The Stupid Worm

57

(Tbineee ^etr^ tTalee.

Chapter I.— Vine Bowers and Their Dangers.
(Falling of a Vine Bower ^ ^ ^ J

/ijNNCE upon a time a District Magistrate was trying a case.
His secretary was present in the Court. His face was
marked with bruises, and the Magistrate asked him, " What is
the matter with your face ?" He replied: " While I was sitting
under the grape vine bowers, cooling myself, a sudden gust of
wind came and blew down the vine bower; hence I received
these wounds." The Magistrate did not believe this and said :
" It is evident that your wounds were caused by finger nails.
You must have been fighting with your wife, who scratched
your face. Am I not right?" The secretary's face turned"
red, and he said: " Your Honor's supposition is correct." The
Magistrate said: "Your wife's temper is so violent and vehe-
ment, I will send for her and give her a good beating, in
order to relieve your suppressed anger."

Just as he was saying this, the Magistrate saw his furious
wife come up from the back of the Yamen, saying: " Whom
do you wish to lick ? " The Magistrate on seeing this,
immediately addressed his underlings thus, " Let us adjourn
the Court. You must all disperse at once. Your master's
vine bower will also soon tumble down."

Chapter II. — A Self-Sacrificing Neighbor.
(Borrowing An Ox f§ ^.)

'^ VILLAGER wrote a note to a wealthy man of the same
& village, asking for the loan of an ox. W^hen the note
arrived, the man of wealth had a friend dining with him. The

Cblnese flBerrg ^ales. [2

rich man, although he possessed a great deal of worldly goods,
had no education and, unwilling to show his ignorance by-
requesting his friend to read for him, he took up the note and
made a pretence of reading it. He said to the messenger:
"This affair is very easy to manage; you may go home first,
in a little while I will follow."

Note. — As the rich man's friend asked for the loan of an
ox, the illiterate wealthy goes himself; he is therefore taken
for an ox.

Chapter III. — The Easiest Way to Learn Chinese.

(Teaching a Son p| ^.)

(TSTHERE was a wealthy old man who could not read or write.
His friends advised him to engage a teacher to instruct
his son. This student, when he had learned one character,
made a stroke with his pen ; two characters, he made two
strokes ; and three characters, three strokes. Then he laid
down his pen and told his father that he already knows all
the characters and what is the use of engaging a teacher.
When his father heard of this, he felt quite happy, and at once
dismissed the teacher. On that day his father determined to
invite a friend named Man (^ means ten thousand) to dinner.
He told his son early in the morning to write out an invitation.
Up to midday his son did not finish writing it. His father
went to his study and asked why these few words has
given him so much trouble. His son, with his mouth tightly
closed, replied to his father, " Why do you not invite some one
else instead of inviting a friend whose name is Man. Since
early morning I have been writing till now, and I have made
only 500 strokes. Do you think it is so easy to complete the
ten thousand strokes ? "

3] Cblnesc yiBertg (Tales.

Chapter IV.— How Useful the Biggest Volumes May Be.

(Simple Booh ^ ^J

C/ii HERE was a scholar who studied in a monastery. On
the first day after rising, he went out for a little recrea-
tion. After midday he returned to his quarters and immediate-
ly called his servant to bring his books to him. The servant
brought him a volume of literature of the Liang Dynasty.
The scholar said: "It is too simple for me." The servant
again brought a book of the Han Dynasby. The scholar
again said : " Too simple." Again a book of history was
brought. He again said : " Too simple-"

As his room was next to that of a monk, the latter hear-
ing what he said, was surprised, and came over to question the
scholar saying : " These three books, if a person could commit
one of them to memory, he may consider himself learned.
Why do you say that it is simple. What is your reason for
saying that ? " He replied : " I wish to take a nap and
intended to pile up the books to form a pillow."

Chapter V. — Where do you go? (^ :^.)

(TjrHERE was a man, naturally sluggish of understanding
and illiterate, met a well-bred friend on the way, who
said : " Where do you go ? " (^ f^.) This idiot, when he heard
this question, could not understand it at all, nor answer the
question. He then kept the two words- " Ho Wan " in hia
mind. He asked other people what these words meant. As
every one knew that he was an idiot, they wished to make a fool
of him, and told him these two words form an insolent term.
When he heard of this, he bocame very angry. The man
who told him the above ran away as soon as they parted
company. The next day he again met the friend, who again

Chinese /BicrtB Zales. [4

asked him the same question: "Brother, where do you go?"
The idiot angrily replied: " I am not Ho Wan; you still want
Ho Wan."

Chapter VI. — Imperial Grief. (^ §.)

<?V GENTLEMAN who had his hat torn to pieces by hie
O wife, became very angry, and went to the palace to
memorialize to the Throne. " Your minister's wife's temper is
quite furious. Because I had a quarrel with her, she tore my
silk hat to pieces. Pray, Your Majesty, have her punished."
Q'he Emperor immediately gave him a verbal reply: "My
subject, you should hold your temper a little. You do not know
that the Empress also has a little temper. Yesterd;iy, because
there was one word in which she disagreed with me, she tore
my crown to pieces, and I did not dare to be angry. While
yours, only a silk hat, of what value is it ? "

Chapter VII.— The Grateful Debtor, (ir X .P)

CTiTHERE was a debtor whose creditor frequently asked him
to pay his debts, but he would not pay what was due.
The creditor became enraged and told his servants : " You go
to the debtor's door and await there secretly. When he leaves
his home, you seize and carry him to me. If he does nob
pay his debts, I will not let him go." When the servants
received their master's order, they went every day and hid
themselves near the entrance of the debtor's house. One day
the debtor happened to go out, and the servants seized and
carried him away. After travelling half a day, they were all
exhausted, and proposed to find a place to rest themselves.
The debtor said to the carriers: "Better run quick, do not
stop ; if you delay, another creditor may come and carry me
away, then it would nob be my fault."

5] Cblnese /DbertB ^ales.

Chapter VIII.— Tea or Bath. (0 ^.)

Sjl^t HEN a visitor calls, the hosb should of course prepare
tea to entertain the guest. One day a visitor came. The
host did not have any tea leaves. He told a young servant to
borrow some from a neighbor. Having gone for half a day, he
did not return. As the pot was boiling, water was added from
time to time, until the pot was full of water. The tea was,
after all, not ready. His wife called him aside and said : " The
visitor is not likely to get any tea to-day ; you had better ask
him to stay and take a bath."

Chapter IX. -The Tamed Magistrate. (j31 ^ tfi ^.)

COHERE was a district magistrate who was in terror of hia
wife. One day he was sitting at court, when he heard
quarrelling in one of the writer's quarters ; he told a servant to
see what was the matter. The ser^^ant returned and said : " It
is in the house of a writer in the barracks. A secretary and
his wife are fighting." When the magistrate heard of this, he
grit his teeth with rage, and said: "If it is, I- I- I-"
Who knows but the magistrate's wife heard this. She came
out, shouting very loud : " If it is you, what will you do ? "

The magistrate laughingly said : " It is I," and immediate-
ly knelt down to his wife, saying : " If I were in his place,
how dare I beat her."

Chapter X. — Scepticism and Cruelty of Cats. (J® ^ M,-)
CITHERE was a cat who was very clever at catching rats.
One day the cat chased a rat into a vase. The cat was
reluctant to leave and stayed by the side of the vase, patiently
waiting for the rat to come out. The rat was in terrible fear,

cbine0e /iRerrg ttales. [6

and did not venture to show his head. The cat happened to

sneeze. The rat in the vase said something about good
wishes — such words as " Happiness and prosperity." The cat
said : " No matter how you compliment me, I am determined
to eat you."

Chapter XL— Easy Removing. (^ A Jl M)
CITHERE was a man who was very fond of tranquillity. His

place of abode was between a blacksmith's shop and
a coppersmith's shop. Every day when these two men were
working, the noise they made caused him a great deal of
annoyance. Then he went up to them and said : " If you
have any intention of moving your shops, let me know
in advance, so that I may prepare a feast and invite you
both." One day both smiths came over and said: "We
both wish to move, so we are giving you due notice. Did
you not promised to invite us to a feast ? We came here
purposely to remind you of your obligation." When the
man heard these words, he was very happy. Without
delay he ordered a feast to be prepared to which to invite
the two smiths. After they had feasted, he asked them:
"Where do you wish to move?" The two men at once
replied : " He wishes to move into my house, and I wish
to move into his house."

Chapter XII.— The Man Who Had More Right. {1^ g.)

CTjTHERE was a mandarin who was exceedingly greedy.
Whenever there is a trial, he sends for the plaintiff and
defendant a few days ahead to talk with them. One day
there were two parties who had a law suit. The accuser
first sent in a present of fifty taels of silver. When the

7] Chinese men's ^alea.

accused heard of this, he doubled the amount and presented
100 taels of silver. "When the date of trial arrived, the
magistrate did not ask which was right or wrong, but ordered
the plaintiff to be beaten. The plaintiff made a sign with
his fingers, the sign of five, and said : " I have more right."
The magistrate said: " You slave, why do you say you have
more right?"

He made signs with his fingers, turning the palm
of his hand up and down, representing the amount luO.
Permitting the plaintiff to see this, the magistrate said : " The
defendant has more right."

Chapter XIII.—" I Burnt Him Yesterday."

(Enquiring after his Father f^ /^ ^.)

CTTHERE was a man who was about to leave home. He
directed his son thus: " When I am away, if anj'one
enquire after your respected elder (father) you may reply thus :
"My father has gone out; please come in and have some tea."
As the son was rather stupid, the father, fearing he might
forget, wrote down these few sentences on a piece of paper
and handed it to his son. His son put the paper in his
sleeve. When he has occasion to use it, he would secretly
take out the paper and have a peep at it. For three days
no one came to enquire after his father. The son said : " The
writing is no earthly use." That night he burnt the paper
before the lamp. When the fourth day came, a visitor
Happened to call and asked : " Where is your respected elder ? "
The son searched his sleeve for half a day and could not find
the paper. He told the visitor; "It is lost." (Mu liao also
means dead). When the visitor heard these words, he was
much surprised and replied : " When did he die ? " "I burned
him (it) last night," the son replied.

Cbinese /BiertB Ilales. [8

Chaptee XIV.— Asking the Road. (I^ ^.)

(TiTHERE was a near-sighted man who lost his way. He saw
^ a stone post on the side of the road with a black crow
perched on the top of it. When he saw these he thought it
was a man standing there. Thrice he asked his way of this
(supposed) man. Suddenly the crow flew away. The near-
sighted man became angry. He then said to the stone post :
" 1 questioned you for half a day and you have not answered
me. Your hat has just been blown away by the wind, and I
will nob inform you of that."

Chapter XV.— The Happiness of Blind Men. (^ Jf.)

CiTHERE were two blind men walking together and convers-
ing. " Among the people of the whole world we blind
people are the best. Those who have eyes are always busy,
especially the farmers. Who has so much leisure and such
an easy time as we have." When the farmers heard of their
boast, they were exceedingly enraged. They secretly called
together a few men, and impersonating the magistrate en
route, shouted out to the two blind men : " Do you not know
manners ? Why do you not keep out of the road ? " They
immediately used their pick handles and gave them a beat-
ing. After the beating they ordered them to be gone. Then
the blind men got up and went their way. One of the farmers
followed the blind men and quietly listened to what the two
had to say. One of the blind men said to the other: " After
all we blind men are the best people. If it was a man not
blind who obstructed the underlings of the magistrate, he
M'ould not only receive a beating but might be further
punished."

9] cbfnese flbervg scales.

Chapter XVI.— The Thirsty Dog. {:)i Jg.)
o-jr HERE was a deaf man who went to see a friend. When
he reached the residence, he knocked at the door. The
dog barked continuously outside for a longtime. It happened
to rain. His friend opened the door fronting the street and
shouted toward the house. He said to his friend : " Your
respected dog must be affected with thirst. He must be very
thirsty. If you do not believe it, you just look. His mouth
is wide open, waiting to catch rain water.''

Chapter XVII — The Hen-pecked Husbands' Club. (iE^S^)

u-jl HERE are many men who are afraid of their wives. Most
of them are illtreated by their wives at their homes.
One day they happened to meet together. Everyone had an
opinion. They found a temple. They said : " We ten people
will burn incense to-day before the Fuh-yeh (Joss) asd
declare ourselves to be sworn brothers." They determined to
have a day of merry feasting. Everyone returned to hia
home and again suffered ill-treatment. After having made
all arrangements, they bought wine and meat. Just when
they were enjoying the feast at its height, unthought of the
ten wives, though not by appointment, found their way to
the temple. Nine of the brothers all tried to find a place
of concealment, from whence they could peep. Only one
man was left sitting there, who made no movement, and
allowed all the women to create a tumult, but did not inter-
fere with them. The women harangued for a half day, then
dispersed. Several of the men said : " We are not so coura-
geous as he is ; let ns appoint him as our chief." They ventured
to have a look at him, then said : " Behold, our chief has been
frightened to death and baa become a saint while sitting there."

Gbfnese Ferris tlales. [10

Chapter XVIII.— Disputing about Etiquette. (^ ^ Q.)

/fj\NE da}^ a blindman, a dwarf, and a humpback, three of them,
while they were about to sit down to a feast, clamoured
for a seat of honour. They said : " We will agree to this : the
one who could tell the biggest lie, will be allowed to occupy
the highest seat. Is that not a good plan ? " The blindman
said : " I will have the first say ; the pupil of my eyes has no
reflection (A man)." (Also means, there is no one equal to
himself) The dwarf said : "I cannot be compared with an
ordinary man, therefore you two have to make room for me."
The humpback said : " You two need not dispute ; you both are
straight backed (Chi bai ^ ^ also means nephew, a lower
generation); naturally I should have the seat of honor."

Chapter XIX.— Unlucky "Words for a Student. C^ f^.)

'^ BACHELOR of arts went to Peking to attend an
C5' examination. His servant shouldered his baggage,
and followed behind. When they reached a lonely spot,
a sudden gust of strong wind blew to the ground the
hat lying on top of the baggage. The servant shouted
out: "The hat has fallen to the ground." Plis master
hearing these words, was not at all pleased, and regard-
ed them as unlucky words. He immediately instructed
his servant thus : " Hereafter do not say ' fallen to the
ground'; always say Chi Dee (^ ^)." (Means obtaining
one of the degrees.) The servant said : " Sir, I will obey your
orders." He then took the hat and tied it very tightly on
the baggage, and said to his master : " We will now go. Now
if you should ascend to heaven, your hat will not again fall
to the ground" {^ fg Jl |^) (Literally translated means
" you will not obtain the degree ".)

11] Cblnese /iBerrie Zlales.

Chapter XX. — The Griefs of a Literary Husband.

'tA NOTHER bachelor of aits, on account of the day of exam-
C^' ination drawing near, was day and night afflicted with
grief and felt down-hearted. His wife seeing him in such a
bad plight, laughingly said to him : " When I see you writing
literary essays, why is it so difficult ? I suppose it is as hard
as we women giving birth to a child." The bachelor of arts
then replied: "It is still easier for you women to bear a
child." His wife said : " Why do you think so ? " B. A. replied :
" Your abdomen contains an already formed child ; my literary
knowledge is not in my abdomen ; why is it not then more
difficult for me (to write an essay) ? "

Chapter XXI.— Explaining the Classics. (4» Jg.)

C/ii HERE was a teacher who taught in a school. One day the
scholars questioned the teacher : " What is meant by
the principles of the Great Learning (;^ ^ ^ jE)-" -^^
the teacher could not explain, he immediately pretended to be
drunk. " You always ask me questions when I have had too
much to drink. How can I explain clearly when I am in
that condition P " He dismissed the students and went home.
He then repeated to his wife the scholars' questions. His wife
replied : " Great Learning is the name of a book. Tze Tao
(^ ^) are the principles or discussions given in the book.
What is the difficulty in that?" The next day, when
the teacher returned to the school, he said to the scholars :
"You all are ignorant. Yesterday when I was drunk, you
persisted in questioning me. To-day I have come to my
senses again, and you do not question me. What is
the reason ? What you asked about ' Ta Hsio Tze Tao '

Cbfnese /IBcrrB tlalea, [12

yesterday you listen and I will explain to you. ' Ta Hsio '
is the name of a book. ' Tze Tao ' are the principles or
discussions in the book. Do you all understand it clearly ? "
The students said : " We all understand." They put
another question, the next sentence : " Tsai Min Min Teh
(^ ^M BJ fi)- What does it mean?" When the teacher
heard this, his eyes looked askance, and he said : " Stop,
don't be in a hurry; the wine has gone up to my head
again."

Chaptee XXII.— The Dog is a Teacher. (|Sj ^ ff).

CiTHERE was a man who was an adept in telling lies. One
day he said to his relative : " We have an ox 30 feet long
in our home ; it can go 1,000 li a day. There is also a cock that
can announce the watch of the night. Whatever the watch of
the night, he is able to crow the number of the watch. There
is still a dog who can read and write." His relative was
quite anxious to see these, and said : " There is such valuable
livestock in your home ; some day I must go to your home to
satisfy my curiosity." The owner of the animals went home
and said to his wife: "What shall I do ? Without intention I
have told a lie. Our relative will be here to-morrow. Tell
me how you would answer him." His wife said : " Never
mind, to-morrow you go your way; surely I will know how to
answer him." The next day the relative actually came and
asked: "Is our cousin at home?" His wife replied: "Your
relative has ridden to Yunnan on the ox early this morning.
He will return in a few days." The visitor again asked :
" There is in your residence a cock that can announce the
watch of the night ; where is it? " It was just midday when
this question was asked, and the cock crowed. The mistress
pointed to the cock and said : " There it is ; it not only can

18] cblnese mctt^ Hales.

announce the time, but if a stranger comes, it will also
announce his arrival." The relative again said : " The reading
dog ; fetch him that I may see him." The wife replied : " I do
not wish to fool you. As we are poor, I have ordered him to
teach in a school."

Chapteb XXIII.—" Where have I gone ? " (^ ^ SO

CT'HERE was a jail official who escorted a monk to the capital
for trial, charged with a weighty criminal offence. On
the way the prison official became deadly drunk and senseless.
The monk stealbhily broke his shackles and put them around
his keeper's neck and shaved his head till not a hair was left.
Then he ran away. The next morning, when the officer
awoke from his revelry, the monk was missing. He touched
his smooth shaven head and felt the chain around his own
neck. He felt very depressed and said : " Ah, although
here is a monk, as to myself, where have I gone to ? "

Chapter XXIV. — Military Examinations. (|E^ # ^ jS-)

CjTHERE was a military officer on duty at night who arrested
a prisoner prowling about in the dark. The thief called
himself a student, and said : " I was in a friend's house
doing some literary work. It was far in the night when we
parted ; hence we were late in coming home." The officer
said : " Since you are scholar, allow me to examine you." The
scholar replied : " All right, will you kindly issue a subject that
I may show my ignorance." The military officer cogitated
for a long time, and could not think of anything, so he said :
" Begone; it is your good luck to-day that I have no subject
to give."

Cbincse /Sierra Zalee. [14

Chapter XXV.— The Golden Ox. (^ %)

CTirHERE was a magistrate whose birthday was celebrated
oa a certain day. All the writers, ranaers, etc., of the
yamSn made enquiries of their master's previoas life as to
what animal he was transformed from. They discovered
that their master was transformed from a rat. A few days
before the birthday they all raised a subscription and ordered
a statuette of a rat made of pure gold, and used it as a
birthday present. The magistrate was very joyful when be
saw it, and said: " All your thoughts have been most artful
and skillful, but do yon know the mistress' birthday? Well,
the date is not distant. There are only a few days left."
The writers and others said they were not aware. " Will
onr master inform us in what year was our mistress born and
from what animal was she transformed from her former life ? "
The master replied: "The mistress is one year younger than
myself, so she must have been transformed from an ox."

Chapter XXVL— Gratefulness of a Target God.

(^ ^ I* I& m-)

U-jj HERE was a military officer in charge of some soldiers.
One day he was in a battle and fought in the front ranks.
Just at the moment of defeat some one unexpectedly came to
his assistance and converted his defeat into victory. The
officer kowtowed and thanked him. He asked: "What
superior god are you that has come to save us ? " The god
replied: I am the target god, come specially to save you."
The officer said : " What good act has your servant done to
you to deserve saving?" The target god immediately
replied : " I appreciate your former skill in regard to your use
of the bow and arrow. You have never injured me with a
single arrow."

15] Cbinesc /iBerrg Sales.

Chapter XXVII. —Harmless Vengeance. (^ %)

CTTHERE was a merchant who, on account of his son having
become a mandarin, also received a title, and one day he
called on the local magistrate. Owing to the old age of the
merchant, the magistrate addressed him as Loh Sen (^ ^.)
leaving out the word Sun (^) (the equivalent of Sen Sun
in English is Mister). When the merchant heard this,
he was very angry, and immediately went home. On his
return, his son asked him the reason of his coming home in
such a rage. He replied that the magistrate has been most
insolent to him. " He should have called me Loh Sen Sun
(^ ^ ^) **ii'^ purposely left out the last word and called me
Loh Sen. lb shows plainly that he intends to insult me. I
will ask him to call and shall take my revenge." His son asked
him : " How will you address him ? " His father replied :
" I ought to address him as father and mother, but I will also
leave out the last character and call him Loh Fu (^ ^)-"

Chapter XXVIII.— His Wife's True Age. (Bi M U-)

t/-jT HERE was a man who married a woman of advanced age.
On seeing her for the first time, he noticed her face was
much wrinkled. He asked her: " What is your age?" She
replied: "lam young yet, only 45." He again asked her:
" Why does your horoscope state that you are 35 ? My
opinion is that you are more than 45 ; you tell me the truth."
She replied: " I am really 54." The husband still did not
believe what she said, and questioned her many times, but
could not get any reply. When night came, the husband
thought of a good plan. He told his wife : " You go to
sleep first, I have to look into my salt jar (^). The rats
stole a great deal of it yesterday." When his wife heard of

Gblnese ^errg tlales. [16

this, she could nob help laughing heartily and said: "Your
old lady has lived 68 years and has never heard that rats
would steal salt to eat."

Chapter XXIX.— Hiding the Spade. (iJ ®.)

C^^HERE was a farmer who worked in the field. His wife
called him to return home to take his meal. He cried
out : " Let me hide the spade before going." When he reached
home, she said to him: "Hiding a spade should be kept
secret; why do you shout thus? Would not others hear it and
steal the spade ? You had better go back quick and see." He
returned to the spot, had a look, and lo the spade was gone.
He hastened home, and at once went to his wife's side and
whispered to her: " The spade has been stolen by some one."

Chapter XXX.— Your Head is Too Soft, (g g^.)

|NE day there was a barber shaving a young man's head.
At the first stroke of the razor, it caused a wound. Before
he finished shaving, he had made several cuts. The barber
stopped shaving, resigned his work and said : "I will not shave
you any more." The customer replied : " What is your
reason ?" The barber answered : " The skin of your head is too
soft, and it is too difficult to shave ; you wait till you are
a little older. When you are more advanced in age, the
skin of your head will become tough, then I will shave
you again."

Chapter XXXI.— The Portrait Painter. (^ ^.)
CHTHERE was a painter who, being at leisure at his home,
waited patiently for customers. On account of no one
coming to his house on business, hia friends suggested an idea

17] Gblnese /Berrg Xtalee.

to him and said : " Paint the likenesses of yourself and wife
and hang them outside of the front door; then people will
give you orders." The painter did as they advised. His father-
in-law happened to call on them on that day. He questioned
his son-in-law thus : " What girl's portrait have you at the
door ? " The son-in-law answered : " It is your daughter's.
Do you not recognize her ? " The father-in-law said : " If it 13
my daughter, why does she sit face to face with a strange
young man ? What has the world come to ? "

Chapter XXXII.— The Hardships of a Tailor. (;j; f %)

CifHERE was a tailor who was cutting clothing for some one,
and wished to save a few feet of cloth. He took the piece
of cloth and turned it over and over. He lowered his brows,
his eyes blinked, and he was much pu?zled. Those undecided
moments were long before he would start cutting. The
apprentice, standing at his side, grew impatient, and asked
the tailor: "Master, what is there so difficulb to solve?"
The tailor replied : " When I have got my share, there ia
nothing for him. If there is sufiScient for him, then there is
none left for me."

Chapter XXXIII.— Reckoning the Age. (it ^ gi;.)

CiTHERE was a man named Chang, who had a daughter just
one year old. Another man named Lee had a son two years
old. The latter requested a friend to speak to Chang to ask
him to give his daughter to his son as a wife. When Chang
heard of this, he grew wrathy and said : " Does he intend to
insult me ? Our daughter is just a year old and his son is two
years old ; if our daughter become 10 years old, then his son will
be 20 years old. How can I giveaway my daughter to such an
old eon-in-law ? " His wife then said to her husband ; " You

Cbtncse flBerrs tiales. [18

have calculated wrong; although our daughter is one year old,
the next year she will be at the same age as his son. Why
not give her away ? "

Chapter XXXIV.-The Rope and The Ox. (^ ^.)

(TjTHERE was a man punished with the cangue. When a
friend met him, he asked : " What is your crime and why
have you come to such a state ? " The other replied : " It hap-
pened that I was walking in the street and saw a piece of rope on
the ground; I thought it was useless, and picked it up and went
on my way with it; this was the cause of all the trouble."
His friend said : " If for only picking up a piece of grass rope,
why should you receive such severe punishment." The man
with the cangue replied : "You do not know all ; that piece
of rope had something attached to it." The other asked :
"What was that something ?" He answered :" There was a
very small farm ox."

Chapter XXXV.— Sorry Remembrance. (:§ ^.)

CTTHERE was a man who was very fond of the cup. One
day he went to a friend's house to dinner. The wine cups
on the table appeared to him too small. He purposely pretend-
ed to be in grief. When his friend saw him, he was much
frightened and asked what was the matter with him. He
replied : " The present cause is in seeing an article in the
room, it brings back sorry remembrances. To think of my
father on the day he died ; he had no sickness, but he was
invited to dine at a friend's house; the cups used at that
dinner were exactly the same as these used here to-day. My
late father swallowed the wine and the cup also went down
his throat, which caused his death. Today I see in your
'house the same cups ; why should I not cry."

19] Cbtneae /Oertg ilales.

Chapter XXXVI.— About Bridges in Soochow and Turnips

in Shantung, (pg ^ ^.)

Ujl HERE was a Shantung man who heard aboub the height
and length of Soochow bridges. He did not mind the dis-
tance, and made up his mind to take a trip there to see them.
When he got half way, he happened to meet a Soochow man.
That Soochow man had heard that Shantung turnips are excep-
tionally large, and wished to go to Shantung to see the tur-
nips. Consequently the two met, each having a hobby. The
Soochow man said first : " Brother, you need not go ; as the
distance is so great and the roads so dusty, it would be well
if I give you a description of the bridges. On the 3rd day of
the 6th Moon, a year ago, a man fell down from the bridge.
Until the 3rd day of the 6th Moon this year, that man haa
not reached the surface of the water yet. Just think whether
that bridge is high or not.'' The Shantung man said : " Thank
you for your information; did you not say that you wish to see
the turnips of our country. I advise you also not to go. If
you wait till next year about this time, the turnip will
naturally grow and reach your Soochow city."

Chapter XXXVIL— Ingenious Talking. (Jg |g f§.)

'^ FATHER taught his son thus in speaking, that when
C' anyone speaks he should use evasive language and not
speak hard truths. His son asked the father what is meant by
ingenious talking. His father taught him thus : " Let me tell
you. If a neighber asks to borrow something, depending on
what he asks for, never say that you have everything nor say
you have some of the things. Say, ' there may be some at
home and may not be any at home.' That is regarded as
ingenious talking. Remember and do not forget that."

Obincse flSectB ttales. [20

Chapter XXXVIIL— Kick Please. (J^ SB S-)
^ WOODGATHERER, while going his way, accidentally
O- struck a doctor with his carrying pole, who at once used
his fists, preparing to strike him. The woodgatherer knelt down
on his knees and begged the doctor : " Do not by any means
use your hands, but kick me a few times if you please." The
sightseers standing by were quite surprised and said : " What
is the reason of this?" The woodgatherer replied : " None of
you know that he is a doctor; if he use his feet to kick me
a few times, I may not die, but if he use his hands, then
surely I will not survive."

Chapter XXXIX.— Jealousy in Dreams. (Pg ^ 4" ^■)
C/-1J HERE was a man who was in terror of his wife. One
night, while in his dreams, he laughed heartily. His wife
woke him up and asked him : " Of what happy affair have you
been dreaming, being so joyous ? " The husband, not daring tell
a falsehood, said : " In my dreams I married a pretty concubine ;
that is why I am so very glad." When his wife heard this,
she grew wrathy beyond measure and ordered him to kneel
down beside the bed. She looked for a stick and wanted to
punish him. The husband said : "Dreams of that kind are
always considered delusions and unconscious thoughts. How
can you regard them as realities ? " His wife replied : " You
are allowed to dream of anything but things of that kind;
after this you are not permitted to dream." The husband
said :" Hereafter I will not dream such dreams." His wife
replied : " I do not believe what j'ou say. When you dream in
your sleep, it is known only to yourself, but how could I know
it ? " The husband said : " Commencing from to-day, there are
360 days in a year ; every night I will be awake until daylight
and will not again go to sleep ; that is all."

21] Cbtnese /Betrg Znlee.

Chapter XL.— The Shamed Thief. (^ £ |S)

/jANCE there was a thief who went to steal in a poor man's
home. He went into the house and saw the owner of the
house's face looking toward him while asleep. When he saw
the thief, he suddenly turned his body and face toward the
wall (inside). The thief became suspicious and said: "He
might be an acquaintance of mine ; when he sees me, he fears
that I would be ashamed." He wanted to run away; at the
same time the owner of the house called aloud to him :
" Come, come, do not be afraid, do not be afraid ; since my
family is in poverty, I have nothing to present to you ; there-
fore I have no ' face ' to see you (meaning I am ashamed
to see you)."

Chapter XLI.— The Deaf and Dumb. (p| ^ ©.)

CTTHERE were a deaf and a dumb, two persons. Each
attempted to hide his own defects. One day the deaf met
the dumb. The former requested the latter to sing a song.
The dumb, knowing well the other was deaf, moved his lips
by opening and shutting them. Also clapped his hands and
imitated singing. The deaf cocked bis ears, pretended to be
listening, and seeing the dumb man's lips moving constantly,
he shouted aloud : " Excellent, excellent. I never heard
you sing before, but to-day, after having heard your song, I
think you singing has greatly improved."

Chapter XLII.— The Way of Paying Half Price. C^ ^,)

'^ T one time a magistrate issued an order that two pieces
C/ of pure gold were required. When the shopkeeper
saw the order, he hastened to deliver the gold, and at once

Chinese /Ubetrg c;ales. [22

demanded its value. The magistrate asked its price. The
shopkeeper replied : " The ordinary price should be so much ;
since it is for your honour's use, we charge only half its value."
The magistrate, in presence of all standing on each side of him,
said: "Since it is thus, return him one piece; it will be
all right." After the gold had been returned, the shopkeeper
still waited for payment. The magistrate said : " We have
paid your price ; what more do you want ? " The shopkeeper
replied : " Will your honor pay a little more." When the
magistrate heard this, he grew wrathy and said : " You
impudent slave ; you said you would sell at half price, so I
returned you one piece, which is worth exactly one-half of your
price. I am not mean toward you ; why are you so stupid ? "
He ordered his underlings to lead him away at once.

Chapter XLIII.— Take a Chair. (^ ^ ^.)

CviTHERE was a family who had so many creditors that all
chairs and benches in their house were occupied. One
creditor sat on the doorstep. The owner of the house stealthi-
ly went up to him and said : " Will you please come earlier
to-morrow." The creditor thought that early the next
morning the debtor would pay him first. He felt very happy
and shouted aloud : " The owner of the house really has no
money ; let us depart." At dawn this creditor was first to
arrive, and said: "Will my debtor kindly come out to pay his
debts ? " When the debtor saw him, he said : " I did nob intend
to pay my debts; only on account of seeing you sitting on the
steps last night I felt very uneasy, so I requested you to
come earlier this morning in order that you may be able to
occupy a seat first, and when all the others have come, you
will not be left again without a seat."

23] Cblnesc /nsecrg (Tales.

Chapter XLIV.— The Likeness of a Portrait, (p ^ ^ )
CjTHERE was a portrait painter, after finishing a painting,
said to his customer : " I will take this picture and go with
you and ask everyone we meet on the way to see if my paint-
ing is a good likeness or not." The customer replied : "Very
well, do as you say." Just as they were outside of their door,
they happened to meet a man. The customer said : " Beg your
pardon ; may I trouble you to see if this is a good likeness of
me?" The man looked at the customer for a long while,
then said : " That hat is well painted." Afterwards they met
another man; the customer again requested him to give his
opinion of the likeness. The man replied : " The clothing is
well drawn." When they met a third man, the painter did
not wait for the customer to enquire, but he spoke iirst:
" The hat and the clothes have been criticized, so you need
not trouble yourself to repeat," and asked him if the face was
a good likeness or not. That man, after having viewed the
painting and pondering over it for a long while said : " The
whiskers are very well painted."

Chapter XLV. — The Charm Against Mosquitoes, (i^.^.)
(TTTHERE was a Taoist priest who boasted that he could
draw a charm against mosquitoes, so that they are sure
not to bite anyone. One man begged of him several times
and said : " There are a great many mosquitoes in my home.
They bite me so that I cannot keep my eyes shut; will yoa
give me one of your charms, so I may get some sleep ? Then I
will be very grateful to you." The Taoist priest drew a
charm, told him to take it home and paste it up. He assured
him that it would be effective. That night the mosquitoes
were more than usual ; he could not sleep a bit. The man
searched for the priest and demanded an explanation from

Cbinesc fldcctB c;alC0. [24

him. The priest said : " I do not believe what you say; it
depends where you pasted it." The other replied : " I stuck it
on the wall." The priest answered : " That is where you can-
not blame me. You did not paste it in the right place."
The man said : " What do you call the right place ? " The
priest said : " Your should drive out all the mosquitoes, let
down your mosquito netting, paste my charm inside of the
netting, then there will be no mosquitoes."

Chapter XLVI.— One Pair of Shoes for Two. (^ ^ ^.)

CTTHERE were two brothers who had both reserved a sura of
money to purchase one pair of boots. The elder brother
wore them in the day time and went out every day, either
visiting friends or attending dinners. The younger brother felt
dissatisfied and disgusted, and thought of a plan to get equal
with his brother. Every night he put on the boots and
walked back and forth in the courtyard the whole night.
After a few days the boots were worn out, so that they could
not wear them again. The elder brother again approached the
younger one to put money together and buy another pair of
boots. The younger brother said: "You buy a pair alone. I
will not wear them ; then I will be able to get some sleep."

Chapter XLVII.— She is Thinking of the Boatman.

'^ SCHOOL MASTER, during the vacation, was at leisure
C^ at his home. One day his wife sneezed, then said: ''It
must be some one speaking about me behind my back." The
teacher said : " I often sneeze in the school room." His wife
said : "That is when I think of you." When the vacation was
over, the teacher as usual went to the school and bid good bye
to his wife. He went on board of the boat. Suddenly the

25] Cbtnese flBerrg Sales.

■wind affected the nose of the boatman, who sneezed several
times. The teacher stamped his feet and said : " It is bad. 1
have just left home and wife is thinking of the boatman."

Chapter XLVIIL— The Drum of Wonder. (^ gg )
C/1] HERE was a man, who was fond of belling falsehoods, said :
'• In a temple in our village there is a big drum which
takes several people to surround it. If it is struck once, the
sound could be heard more than 100 li away." A bystander of
intelligence said : " There is an ox in our native place whose
head is in Kiangnan and tail in Kiangpei, several tens of
thousands of catties in weight. Is not this a curious animal ? "
All present did not believe this ; the man then said : " If there
was not such a big ox as ours, how could there be such a big
piece of hide to cover the big drum ? "

Chaptee XLIX.— Hyprocrisy of Religious Persons and

Cats. 0&^,)
C/jj HERE was a mischievous boy who took a string of prayer
beads and hung it onto the neck of a cat. When all
the rats saw this, they congratulated the cat thus: " Mr. Cab
you are wearing beads around your neck; it shows that
you reverence Buddha and have become benevolent and kind.
Surely you will not eat us any more." All the rats became
very merry and came out to play all over the ground. When
the cab saw them, he killed several of them at once. All
the rats were frighhtened; then they hid themselves. They
all regretted in their hearts and said : " W^e thought the old
cat had changed from a life of wickedness to one of benevo-
lence and had become kind-hearted; in reality he is only
shamming reform." Another rat said: "You do not know
that nowadays those who do good and pray are ten times
worse in their ways."

Cbtnese ffiierrs ttalea. [26

Chapter L.— The Hasty Man. (f^ jf .)
C/i| HERE -were two relatives, one of thein hasty and the
other slow in their tempers. One day they u-iet oa
the road. The relative with slow temper bowed low to
the ground to the relative with quick temper and said: "In
the first moon we view the lanterns (jg ^i and feast on
dumplings {-jq <^). During the fifth moon festival rice
puddings are presented to me (^Sk "?)> ^^^ during the festival
of the autumnal equinox moon cakes and fruits are presented
to me. At various times I have accepted many good things,
but 1 have not yet returned your compliments. Really I
feel very sorry." After repeating all these words, he then
straightened his back. Alas! the relative with hasty temper
could not stand this boredom, and had already moved away.
'J'he man with the slow temper looked and found him gone;
then he asked: "When did my relative go away?" The
bystanders replied : " He left after you said that you viewed
the lanterns. He has now been away half a day."

Chapter LL— Riding a Tiger. (^ ^.)

'^ MAN who was walking among the mountains, met a tiger,
Cy and at once climbed a tree. The tiger was at the foot
of the tree and wanted to climb up to attack him. He was in
great terror and jumped down from the tree. Fortunately he
fell just on the back of the tiger and, as he could not do other-
wise, he rode on him. He held the tiger's waist with his legs
and allowed the tiger to go at his will. Those who saw him did
not know what was the matter and said one to another: "Look
at that man riding on a tiger. When he is riding on top he looks
like a genii. How easy he rides." ^Vhen the man heard this
he cried aloud: "You all seem to think that I look very grand
and dignified; you don't know my thoughts within. I wish to
dismount and I cannot. No one can tell how much I suffer."

27] cblnese /Bbens C^ales.

Chapter LIT.— Attraction of Music. (Tff 4« 5| W-}

'^ MUSICIAN was playing a harp in a crowded street.
Cy The natives of the place thought he must be playing a
banjo or something of that sort. Many came to listen. After
a while the music became low and unattractive. It grew
unexcitable and monotonous. No one liked to listen to it ;
gradually they dispersed. At the end only one man was left.
He was standing still. The musician said : " Very good, that
is the man who understands music and has sympathy with
me. I have not wasted niy time playing half a day." The
man said: " I do not understand music ; the reason I did not
move was on account of that table, which belongs to my
family. I purposely waited for you to finish playing, so that
I may carry it home. If it was not for that, I would have
been gone long ago."

Chaptek LIII.— Hardships of Travelling, (ffi ^\, fif.)

CTT HERE was a traveller who engaged a boat to go to Hang-
chow, The boat people served him. He rose early
that morning and gave out some rice to cook. The boat-
woman stole a large bowl of washed wet rice behind the back
of the traveller and hid it under the stove. Unexpectedly
the traveller saw this, but he did not wish to speak out. He
sat in the boat and kept repeating to himself: " There are
1,000 difficulties at home and many pleasant moments while
travelling." When the boatwoman heard this she said :
" Traveller, you are mistaken. I know it should be ' there is no
place lilie home, and one meets with difficulties when travel-
ling ; ' there are only these two sentences, why does the traveller
say it in reverse ? " The traveller at once replied : " Since you
are aware that it is hard, please put that bowl of rice back
into the pot, then there will be no more hardships."

cblncse /iBertB Cales. [28

Chapter LIV.— The Griefs of a Tiger, (j^ ^ ^.)
vTTHERE was a monk who held a prayer book under his arm

and a pair of cymbals in his hand when he went to a
village to worship. On his way he suddenly met a tiger
running toward him. He was so frightened that he did not
know what to do. He threw the cymbals straight at the
tiger. The tiger catight them with his mouth and chewed
them to pieces. He swallowed them, and again ran toward him.
The monk was still more frightened. Hastily he threw the
book of prayers at the tiger. Unexpectedly the tiger, seeing
that it was a prayer book, quietly ran back to his cave.
When the young tigers saw their mother, they said : " You have
gone hunting for food ; why have you returned so soon ? " The
old tigress replied : " I was much disappointed to-day ; whom
did I meet but a monk. I only ate two pieces of brittle cake,
then he brought out his subscription book. Fortunately I
ran quick. If I was one step behind, with what could I
subscribe for him ? "

Chapter LV.— Shensi Poetry. (^ W !§■)
Three Shensi men one summer day
Sat in a garden fair.
Said one : " We've nothing else to do
As we sit idly here.

Why should not each compose a rhyme,
And so we'll gaily pass the time ?

Here is the pomegranate tree,
And there the bamboo grove.
And yonder are the cormorants
Seeking the fish they love.

29] Cbinese flicrrB ttales.

Be these our themes and I will try
To turn the flowers to poetry,
And afterwards you two shall chant
The bamboo and the cormorant."

THE POMEGRANATE.

Mid branches dark and leafy green
Open the ruddy flowers.
In our old garden too they're seen
Bright'ning the sunny hours.
Then for a space we do not see
Their beaut}' rich and rare,
But soon again upon the tree
Burst forth the florets fair.

THE BAMBOO.

On branches dark, mid leafy green
No lovely flowers are seen,
But daily when the dawn winds blow,
The branches swaying to and fro,
Sing low"Kalo, Kalo."

THE CORMORANTS.

He stands upon the water's brim
Catching the fish that rise.
But who can catch a glimpse of him
As from the snow he flies.
Yonder's the old bird in his nest.
We know him by his ruddy crest.

Chinese /Eerrs Znlee. [30

Chapter LYL— How Books May Be Useful. (Jil- Hi f^.)
'HERE was a nurne-maid in care of a child who was in-

Or

clined to cry and would nob go to sleep. Ihe nurse
instantly thought of a plan. She called out: "Master, master,
bring me a book." " What do you want a book for ? " asked
the master. The nurse replied : " I often see the master; when
not holding a book all is well, but whenever he holds a book
to read instantly he goes to sleep."

Chapter LVII.— Sparing Half the Glass. (|g fi ^.)

'^ GUEST was invited by a friend to dine at his house.
O It happened that the host was very stingy. Every
time he poured wine into a cup, he filled it only half full. The
guest then said to the host: "Have you a saw in the house?
Lend me one to use for a little while." The host replied : " In
the midst of a dinner, of what use have you for a saw?" The
guest pointed to the wine cup and said : " Since the upper half
of the cup does not hold wine, let me saw it off for you ; what
is the use of leaving that half empty ? "

Chapter LVIII.— Very Good Fists. (^ SI 5f ^ ^.)
CjTHERE was a man from another province who had lived
in Peking several years. Afterwards he went home.
No matter what subject he spoke about, he always boasted
that whatever came from Peking was the best. One night he
was walking together with his father. A bystander said:
" There is good moonlight to-night." When the one who loved
boasting heard of this, he at once replied : " What is there
good about to-night's moonlight; you do not know the kind of
moonlight we get in Peking yet. There is where you get

31] Cblneec ^ctrg Znles.

good moonlight." AVhen his father heard this, he was very
angry and scolded hiin thus : " There is only one moon in the
world; why is it only bright in Peking?" While he was
saying this, he gave his son a blow with his fist. After his
son had suffered punishment, he wept and shouted to his
father: "What are your fists? You do not know the fists in
Peking yet. When one hits, it is still harder."

Chapter LIX. — Difference of Taste. (0 ::J".)

C/j" HERE were two brothers who called together at a friend's
house. The younger brother was very dull. When
they arrived at their friend's home, and had taken their
seats, the servants served tea. There were some dry peaches in
the tea. The younger brother did not know what they were
and quietlj' asked his brother about it. The elder brother an-
swered : "Stupid one (^ Zi' chune tsai)." (He did not know
what it meant.) The elder merely said these two words because
his younger brother was slow of understanding and fearing his
friends would laugh at him. When the second cup of tea was
made with almonds, he again asked his elder brother: "What
is that ? " His elder brother again said : " Stupid one." After
a while, when both had left the house and arrived at home,
the younger brother said : " A while ago, the first ' chune tsai,'
though a little sour, had still some sweet taste to it, but the
second 'chune tsai' vi^as nauseous to the palate; there was not
the least sweet taste to it."

Chapter LX. — The Taoist Priest on the Door.

cP! ± 1,5 m A).

CjTHERE was a man who, on account of the New Year, went

out to purchase door joss portraits. By mistake he

bought the Taoist priest's portrait and pasted it on the door.

Cblnese ffietrg Cales. [32

When his wife saw this she said : " Door josses generally carry
B words or axes, and they are drawn very fierce. \Vhen the
devils see it, they are afraid. You use that benevolent
looking likeness ; of what use is pasting that up there ? "
Her husband replied: "You need not mention it. Nowadays
people whose features appear benevolent and kind, their
actions are generally wicked and contemptuous."

Chapter LXI. — Difference in Relation. ("S ^ " ^)

CTTHERE was a man holding a child in his arms and
standing at the door fronting the street. A bystander,
who was fond of mischief, pointed at the child and said :
" There is no doubt about the old saying that blood and bones
of a father and son are from the same stock (a chip from
the same block) ; just look at your son's features; they look
exactly like me. There is no mistake about it." The man
with the child in his arms replied at once : " You are right ;
you and this child are from the same mother, so you and he
are brothers; why should your features not be the same ? "

Chaptbe LXIL— The Humble Moon. {^S. M)

CTTHERE was a man who was always arguing with others,
no matter on what subject. He always employed the
word tsu (IH., meaning humble or rough) for humbling himself.
One day he invited some friends to dinner at his house.
The feast lasted till evening. Suddenly the moon rose, and
the guests were very happy to see the bright moonlight and
said : "We are to-day at your home; we did not expect to see
such beautiful moonlight." When the host heard this he
hastily folded his hands, bowed and said : " How dare I re-
ceive such high compliments; that is only the humble moon
in our house."

33] Cbinese /l&erris (Talee.

Chapter LXIII.— The Ascetic Cat. (Fg A ;^ Oi # M-)

'^ CAT was sitting at a place with eyes shut and purring,
w Two rats saw the cat, at a long distance, and said in a
low voice : " Mr. Cat, you have to-day changed your character
from fierceness to kind-heartedness. He is saying his prayers
there. We may go out to play." As soon as they got out of
the hole, the cat ran up and caught one of them. He ate the
whole rat, even the bones. The other rat hastily ran back
into the hole and told all the other rats : " I thought Mr. Cat
with eyes shut, was saying prayer. He must have become
benevolent. Who would suppose that what he did was most
disgusting ? He is really like the old saying : ' One who eats
a man without throwing up the bones.' "

Chapter LXIV. — How Rare Are The Great Sages.

Cv-ir HERE was a scholar conceited beyond measure. One day
he said to the others : " A sage born to the world is a
very rare occurrence. In the beginning 'Pan Ku' made
heaven and earth, men and all animals. Who could be
compared with him ? " He bent one of his fingers and said : " I
must place him first in the list. Afterwards came Confucius,
who wrote the books of poetry and arranged the book of rites
and music. He is most prominent among men. For genera-
tions he has been worshipped as a saint. Who does not
respect him ? " Then he bent his second finger and said :
" Besides these two men, there is no one else that I could bend
my fingers to count." After having said this, he thought for
a while, nodded his head, and said : " Just so ; do you not
think it is difficult to be a saint?" He bent his third finger
and said : " Counting myself there are only three."

Cblncse /iBcrtg iTaics. [34

Chapter LXV.— Riches of a Beggar. (>p^!}^^.)

'^ BEGGAR once boasted before other people: " Al-
O though I am not regarded as a man of great wealth,
there is nothing lacking in my house as to furniture and
utensils." He counted with his fingers : " What is short are
dragon cars and phoenix chariots. As to drinkables and
eatables, I have every kind." He again bent one finger:
" What is short is only dragon's heart and phcsnix's liver."
His little son, standing by his side, interrupted, saying: " Where
is our bed for the night ; we slept on the straw spread on the
ground. To-night we have not even a grain of rice left ; you
still tell big lies before the people." The poor man, hearing
these words, lifted his head and thought for a while and said :
" That is so, that is so. I forgot. Surely, there is everything in
my house ; what is short is only dragon's heart, phoenix's liver,
this evening's rice, dragon's car, phoenix's chariot, and bed for
the night."

Chapter LXVI. — Prayers and Domestic Economy.

m mmnu m-)

■^ BENEVOLENT old lady, who held a string of praying
& beads, stayed all day at home and repeated aloud :
" Omei-to-fuh, Omei-to-fuh." One day, after she had finished
prayers, she at once called the two sons in the house and said :
" You look at the hot cooking pan and see how many ants there
are. It is really annoying; bring me a light and let me burn
them to death." After saying this, she again repeated her
prayers aloud. After twice repeating the prayers, she again
called out: '' Boys, boys, use a dust pan and take out all the
ash under the cooking pan, but be sure not to use our own,
lest it will be burnt ; it will be all right if you use our neighbor
Chang San's dust pan."

35] Cbinese ^etrs c;ales.

Chapter LXVII.— A Shoemaker in Hell. (^ Kfc)

'^ JUDGE in hell, whose boots were worn out, came out
& to this human world and sought for a shoemaker and
told him : " I give you two mace of silver as bargain money ;
will you make me a new pair of boots ? When you have made
them, I will pay you more money." After a few days the
judge came to get his boots. The shoemaker said : " A few
days ago you paid me the bargain money. I only bought
leather for the top of the boots ; there is no sole leather
(M S^ y®*- ^^^1 y*^*^ come again in a few days to fetch
them ? " After a few days the judge again came for the boots.
The shoemaker said : '' I have not yet made the sole." The
judge came several times for the boots, but the shoemaker
always said : ' ' The sole is not yet ready." One day the God
of Hades sent a devil to fetch the shoemaker to hell. The
God of Hades said to the shoemaker : " You always have been
in the habit of cheating other people of money and would not
deliver up goods to your customers ; you are a base scoundrel.
You should be put into a caldron of boiling oil in hell." The
shoemaker saw the judge who wanted the boots standing
by. The shoemaker sorrowfully begged him to think of soma
means of saving him. The j udge answered : " No matter, that
caldron has no bottom (|E Jfg)-" (The character ]g in this chap-
ter has two meanings — sole of a boot and bottom of a caldron or
anything. It is a play on words of this character, having two
meanings.) " If you are thrown in, you can run away from it."
When the evil spirit threw the shoemaker into the oil caldron,
he immediately felt the four sides of the caldron with his
hands and called out loudly : " Your honor, the judge, there is
a bottom to it, there is a bottom to it !" The judge replied :
" Since you said there is a bottom, why do you not finish my
boots."

Cbincse /iBetrie ttales. [36

Chaptee LXVIII.— Difference in Punctuations.

/|\NCE there was an On-vvhai man who was always engaged
in law-auits, which he detested. At the end of the
year, on the 30th of the 12th Moon, the father and two sons
held a consultation together and said : " To-morrow is the first
day of the New Year ; each one of us should repeat some lucky
sentence, hoping that the coming year will be accompanied
with good luck and we will not be engaged in law-suits ; is
that not well?" The eldest son said: "Let father repeat the
first sentence." The father said: "This is a good year"
(■^ ^ ^). The son followed saying: "I hope there will be
fewer afflictions" (|i§ ^ /J?). The second son said: "Not to
engage in law-suits this year" (i^ ^ ^7 1^ 'Sl)- These form
three sentences of eleven characters. They wrote them on
a strip of paper, which was pasted in their guest room, so that
people might repeat them to insure prosperity. Early in the
morning his son-in-law happened to come to make a New Year
call; he saw the strip of paper and divided the writing on
the wall into two sentences, the first containing five characters
and the second six characters, and read them thus : " There
will be more afflictions this year, and law-suits are inevitable "

Chapter LXIX.— How to Save a Father. (fiJ flg.)

(TjTHERE was a man whose father was very ill. He called
in a doctor to attend to his illness. The doctor said:
" Although there is no means of curing his sickness, I will
write a prescription and see how it will affect him. If you
are filial and cut a piece of flesh from your leg to boil with the
medicine, it may move the pity of heaven and earth; then the

37] Gbincfle /iBetrg Zales.

medicine may prolong your father's life." The son said :
" That ia easy enough." After the doctor left he went out with
a knife. It was then summer time. He saw a man at his
own door, naked and asleep; he at once went over and forcibly
cut a piece of flesh from the man's leg. The man woke up,
greatly frightened and screaming with pain. The other man
said : " Don't scream ; don't scream ; do you not know that to
cut one's leg to save a father is the most noble deed in the
world?"

Chapter LXX. — Bad Luck for a Doctor. (^ J: ■fj; T)

/jANCE there was an unskillful doctor. After his marriage, a
daughter was born to him. One day one of his
patients died under his care. The relatives of the deceased
would not stand this, so the doctor gave away his own son to
replace the dead one. Again he happened to kill some one
else's daughter by his medicine; he gave away his own
daughter to the deceased's family. He had only a wife left at
home. The couple were in grief. Just at they were in the
moment of deep sorrow, some one knocked at the door to call
the doctor, who went to the door himself and asked : " Who is
it that requires medical treatment ? " The man answered : "It
is my wife." The doctor went into the house and said to his
wife : " Bad luck on us ; surely there must be some one who
admires yon."

Chapter LXXI.— The Charitable Deceiver. (M ^WtM)
CiTHERE was a soldier, wearing cotton clothing and cloth
boots, who went into a temple to have a look around.
When the monk saw his style of dress, he thought he must be
a man of the common class ; he did not receive him courteously.

Chinese ^etcg ttales. *e [38

The soldier then said to the monk : " If your income is short, let
me have your subscription book so that I may give a dona-
tion." When the monk heard this, he was very happy. He
immediately served tea and treated him with extra politeness.
Hastily he brought a subscription book and opened it. The
soldier wrote on the first line : " The Viceroy's yam^n " (four
characters). The monk thought he must be a high mandarin,
who had come to do charity. He was agitated, and hastily
knelt down. The soldier added below the words : " Viceroy's
yamSn" "A private of the left wing." When the monk saw
the word private he became very angry ; immediately he
stood up and did not kneel. He again saw him write " 34. "
The monk thought it must be 34 Taels; again he became
happy, again he knelt down. The man added below the 34
the word " cash." The monk seeing that the soldier was
subscribing so small a sum, again stood up and gave his body
a turn; instantly his gladness turned into wrath. The soldier
did not show his injured feelings and went his way.

Chapter LXXII.— Brotherly Cultivation of Fields.

^ T one time two brothers together cultivated a field.
O When it was autumn, the younger brother wished to
share the millet with the elder brother, who said: "We are
brothers of the same blood ; why should we divide our property
thus ; it is really disagreeable. It is better that I should
collect the upper millet grains this year and you the lower
straw. When next year comes I will receive the lower and
you the upper portion. Each year we collect in turns. Is that
not fair?" The younger brother said : "All right; let it be
thus." When spring of the next year came, the younger said :
" It is now time to plant the young rice." The elder brother
replied : " You need not. hurry. I hear people say that there

39] cblncse /iBcrrg XTales.

will be a great drought this year, so we will plant potatoes
instead. Remembering what I said last year, I shall collect
what is underground and you collect what is above ground.
That is what I call fair and equal ; each one receiving the
product of each year. This rule will be adhered to without
change hereafter."

Chapter LXXIII.— The Refrain of the Song. i^^7f,M^-)

CTTTHERE was a gay young man, who had spent all his
money and property in debauchery, went from door to
door singing and begging. Thus he passed his days. One
day he passed the door of a girl whom he formerly knew. The
girl was drinking, together with a guest, and he heard her
singing in a low voice. These are the words: "On account of
you, my rosy cheeks have lost color and become thin." He
was just at the door when she sang these lines. He loudly
joined the song, singing: "On account of you, my meals have
become irregular."

Chapter LXXIV.— The Square Serpent. (-^ Jg.)

CTTHERE was a man who, for the first time, saw a snake. He
began to tell lies and spoke to another about this snake,
which he described as 100 feet broad and 1,000 feet long. The
other said : " Surely I cannot believe it." The liar again said :
" If it is not 1,000 feet, it must be 500 feet." The other man
replied :" Still I do not believe you." He again reduced his
figures and said : " It may be 300 feet long and 200 feet broad."
At last he reduced it to 100 feet. Then he saw that he had
made a great mistake : " I said it wrong. According to my
description, that snake would become a square one."

Cbinese /iBetrB Times. [40

Chapter LXXV.— The Salt Eggs. (H g.)

C/ir HERE was a countryman who came to the capital. One
day a friend invited him to dinner. One of the dishes
was salt duck's eggs. When he was eating this he said : " It
is curious how these eggs became salt." His friend then told
him : " Do you not know that we in Peking have a special
kind of salt ducks ? hence they lay eggs that are already salt."

Chapter LXXVI.— Two Taels a Wight. (^ ^ ~ M — ^O
CjTHERE was an old man who was given to benevolence and
charity. One day it was snowing heavily, and he saw a
poor man standing under the eaves of his front door, sheltering
himself from snow. The old man seeing that he was suffering
from cold, had pity on him. He called him into the house.
He gave him warm wine to produce sweat and made him
stay over night. On the second day it was still snowing.
He again kept him in the house. For three consecutive days
he kept him. On the fourth day it was fine day, the man on
his departure said to the old man : " Let me have the use of
your knife for a little while." The old man handed the
knife to him. He took the knife in his hand and said : " We
two have never met each other, and to receive such kind-
ness from you, I can only repay your kindness by killing
myself" When the old man heard this he was much fright-
ened. He hastily answered : "If it is like that, you are not
repaying my kindness; instead you are ruining me." The
man said : " Why is that ruining you ? " The old man replied :
" If a man dies this way in my house, even if there was no
further trouble, at least what I have to spend in burial and
burning paper money, will cost me 12 Taels. Besides there
are other expenses." The other said : " Accepting your hospi«

41] ablnese /nsetre dales.

tality, you need not count these trifling expenses; instead you
just give me 12 taels, being the cost of my burial and burning
paper money to me ; then I will go." When the old man heard
this, he became furious and created an uproar, and called for
the neighbors to come together to discuss the matter. They
decided to give one-half to show that there was no ill feeling
between them, so 6 taels were given him. As soon as the
man received the money, he wanted to get away. The old
man uttered a soliloquy : " Who would think one would meet
such an ungrateful man?" The man said: "You should
say that you are ungrateful yourself instead of calling me
ungrateful." The old man replied: "Why do you say that I
am ungrateful ? " The other answered : " If you call yourself
grateful, you should not be so miserly. I stayed here three
nights altogether; you have deducted from me 2 taels a
night ; do you call that grateful ? "

Chapter LXXVIL— The Way of Going to Hell. (ic^5E^)
CTTHE God of Hell sent a death-snatching devil to this world
to arrest some one. The death -snatching devil returned
empty-handed. The God of Hell asked him : " Why do you
not snatch a certain person for me?" The devil replied:
"Master, that man has at present two very beautiful girls
attending him every day. They are more effective than I
am. I ,know in a few days' time he will come himself; what
is the use of fetching him ? "

Chapter LXXVIIL— How to Pay Debts. (13 %)
CiTHERE was a man who owed people money, and for a long
time he had not paid his debts. One day he happened
to meet a creditor on his way. The latter stopped him and

Cblnese flSetts tlales. [42

said : " When did you borrow my money ? You should return
it to me to-day." The debtor answered : " I know it is a little
late. I tell you in comparison, if you understand it, then you
will not ask me for it. If I paid that money before this, of
course you would have spent it and not be likely to ask me
for it again." The creditor replied: "What you said is only
empty talk. If you returned the money, I could deposit it
somewhere and get interest on it." The debtor said : " Do
you say that my words are unreasonable ? There is another
way of looking at the matter. If I was away would you
still come to me for debts?" The creditor replied: "If I
waited for your return, I would be still more severe with
you." The debtor answered : " I advise you to assume that
I am absent and have not returned; then you have to wait
a few days longer." The creditor replied: "You are now
in my presence ; why do you say that you have not returned ? "
The debtor said: "I have some more to say on this
matter; you insist on my paying you, and if I have no
money to pay, of course we'll come to blows, then you
will not get the money; instead you may be sent to the
yamSn and be punished. Your property will be wasted,
you will be imprisoned and then afterwards be executed.
Then it will be too late to repent. If I kill you, I will
receive the same punishment. Could you come to life again
and ask me for your money ? If to-day you did not utter
a single unfriendly word, this matter will pass away
peaceably. Would that not be comforting? Why seek
to quarrel and make things so disagreeable?" When the
creditor heard this, he became furious, and said: "You can
talk very well, but I still want the money." The debtor
loudly said : " I have spoken a lot of good words and you
would not listen ; no matter how able you are in extorting,
I will not pay my debts."

43] Gbfnese /USetrB ITalcs.

Chapter LXXIX.— The Theft of Wine, (fgj fi.)

Cy-JI HERE was a school master who was very fond of wine.
His servant having the habit of stealing wine, so that he
dare not employ another. One day the teacher soliloquized
to himself: " I must get one who does not drink wine, then he
would not steal my wine. I must engage one who does not
know what wine is. Then I would know that he does not really
like wine, and then surely he would not steal mine." One day a
friend recommended him a man. The teacher held up some
yellow wine and aked him " wfiat kind of wine is this ? " The
man replied: "That is Chun Shao (^ fg, old Shao Shing)."
The teacher said : " He knows even the name of the wine ; why
should not he be fond of the cup ? " He was immediately sent
away. Afterwards another was recommended to him. The
teacher again held up the yellow wine and asked him. That
man answered: "That is real Hwa Diao {'^ JH, name of a
wine)." The teacher said ; " He even knows the quality of the
wine and is able to give its special name ; he cannot be one
who does not drink." He at once dismissed him. After a
while another man was recommended to him. As soon as the
man entered the door, he took the yellow wine and asked him.
He replied that he does not know wine. He took up the
spirits and questioned him. He again answered: "I do not
know what it is called." When the teacher heard this, he
was very glad. He thought that this man is sure not to drink
wine. He at once engaged him. One day the teacher wanted
to go out to visit a friend, and left his servant to look after
the house. He gave orders to him by saying that there was
a ham on the wall and a fat chicken in the yard ; you must look
after these carefully. In the house there are two bottles : one
containing white arsenic and the other red arsenic ; be sure not
to touch these. If you should drink these, your intestines and

Chinese /DctrE Zalee. [44

liver will be torn to pieces and will cause immediate death. He
repeated this thrice, then he went out. After the teacher had
gone, the servant killed the chicken and boiled the ham. He
drank the wines in their order. Suddenly he became drunk
and laid on the ground When the teacher returned and
opened the door, he saw the servant lying on the ground and
the chicken and ham both gone. He could not suppress his
anger. He kicked him to conscienceness and questioned him
minutely. The servant sobbing said : " After master left, your
servant (addressing himself in the third person, which accord-
ing to Chinese etiquette is the polite way of servants when
speaking to their master) attentively kept watch. Unthought
of, a cat came in and took the ham away. Suddenly a dog
also walked in and chased the chicken until there was no
trace of it. Your servant is really very sorry about it, and
does not wish to live. I then thought of the words when you
left, saying the red and the white arsenic, if drunk, would cause
sudden death. Your servant first drank all the red arsenic
and did not feel any effects. Afterwards I drank the whole
bottle of white arsentic ; even then I did not die. Now my
head is in a swoon and brains are aching. I feel half dead.
I lie here struggling between life and death."

Chapteb LXXX.— The One Thousand Taels. (=F- ^ ^.)
CTTHERE was a man with one thousand taels in his posses-
sion. One day he met a poor man, to whom he boasted
of his wealth. He braggingly said : " My wealth is worth a
thousand taels ; why do you not respect me ? " The poor man
replied : " If you possess a thousand taels, it is yours ; what
matter to me. Why should I pay respects to you ? " The wealthy
man said : " I will divide one half with you, then you should
respect me." The poor man answered in a more expressive
manner: "Since you have got a thousand taels, if you keep

45] Cbfnesc /iBerrs G^alcs.

500 and give me 500, then we both have equal amounts; why
should I then respect you ? " The wealthy man said : " Suppose
I give you the whole amount, would you not admire me?"
"When I have got your l.OUO taels, then you should respect
me instead, and the more I should not compliment you."

Chapter LXXXI.— Conversatioual Misunderstandings.

CTTHERE was a district magistrate who had obtained his rank
by purchase. He did not speak the Mandarin dialect.
After he had entered office, he called on his superior, who
questioned him thus: "What are the prospects (JU, J^ wind
and earth means also prospects) of your district?" He
replied : " There is no wind nor dust " (^ ::^ Mi M ^ ^ i-)
The superior again asked: " How are the spring crops ? " (§
;jf2 jpj ^ spring flower.) He answered : " This year's cotton
is worth 200 cash a catty." His superior again questioned him :
" How is the grain crop ? " (|^ ig). He answered : " Your
inferior wears a 3-ft. 5-in. long robe." (The two words ,^.I^ ^
have the same sound as length of a person ^ §.) Again
his superior asked him : " How are the people in your
jurisdiction?" (W ^ i^ H #) H® replied: "Of white
apricots (^ ^) we have only two kinds, of red apricots we
have collected a lot." (The words white apricots (^ ^)
and people ('g' ^) in Chinese have similar sounds, hence the
misunderstanding occurs.) The superior said: "I enquired
about the people " (^ ^, another word denoting people). He
replied : •' We have plenty of pear trees (^ )^); pear tree and
(^ 1^) people sound alike, but they produce very little fruit."
The superior said : " I did not ask you about the pears and
apricots, but what I asked you is about the citizens " (>J^ JJ
also means 'name' >]■» ^.) The magistrate hastily stood up and
said: "Your inferior's Christian name is doggy " (||^ M %)■

Cbincse jTiertB Sales. [46

Chapter LXXXII.— The Price of Boots, (f^ M. fH)
CTTHERE was a man of slow temper who bought a pair of
new boots. He met a man of quick temper, who asked
him : " Old brother, what is the cost of your boots ? " The slow
tempered man lifted one of his feet and told him : " Two taels
and four mace." When the hot-tempered man heard this, he at
once took hold of his servant and gave him a beating and said :
"You impudent slave, you bought these boots for me, why do
you charge 4 taels for them ? Just like you ! One who is
overbearing to his master and loves money. You are a most
contemptible fellow." The slow-tempered man stood by his
side and advised him thus : " If you have anything to say, say
it slowly ; why be in such a rage." After he said this, he again
slowly lifted his other foot and said : " Old brother, this one
also cost 2 taels 4 mace."

Chapter LXXXIIL— Sound Sleepers, (M ^XM)
C/ jT HERE was a man named Chang, of Soochow, who was
fond of a long nap. His friend Li has also the same
habit. One day Chang made an appointment with Li to
consult on some matter of importance. Li went to Chang's
house early in the morning. Chang had not risen, so Li went
to sleep on the sitting room couch. When Chang woke up,
he went down to meet his guest and saw Li asleep. Chang
slept again on the opposite side of the same couch. When Li
woke up, seeing Chang still asleep, Li kept on sleeping.
When Chang woke up and saw Li still asleep, he went to
sleep again. When Li woke np, it was evening. Chang was
sbill asleep, so Li went off quietly. When Chang awoke, he
saw his friend had left, he hastily returned to his own room
and went soundly to sleep again. These two men are always
in the arms of Morpheus. When will they really awake ?

47] Gbfnesc flBerrvj Hales.

Chapter LXXXIV.— Tall Monkeys, {f^ B-)

CTTHERE was a magistrate who called on his superior.
After their conversation on business was completed,
they chatted about odinary matters. The superior enquired :
"It is reported that monkeys are found in your district. How
large are they?" He replied: "The largest ia the size of a
grown up person." {^ A Tai-jen has two meanings — a
grown up person and a great man or a superior.) After he
said this, he knew he had used the wrong words and felb fright-
ened. He hastily stood up and said : " The smallest is about
my (your inferior's) size."

Chapter LXXXV.— Rich and Poor, (-f- ^ g.)

(TjTHERE was a man who had property worth ] 00,000 taels.
One day he boasted to a poor man that he had 100,000
taels of property. Had he heard of that ? The poor man
replied: "I have also 100,000; there is nothing wonderful
about that." The rich man said : " Where is your 100,000 ? "
The poor man answered: "You always had that amount, but
you would not use it. I wish to use it, but I have none to
use. Is not that the same 1"

Chapter LXXXVI— The Boaster. {^ V§ >]> pf .)

TTN the capital, Peking, those who are fond of telling
exaggerated stories are called " Pon (P^.) In the
eastern part of the city there was a " Great Pon " (;^ P^ a
boaster) and in the western part a Small Pon(>J-« p$). One
day the Small Pon went to see the " Great Pon " and wanted

Cbineee /Rerrw Sales. [48

to give him some difficult work to do. He said : " Your
nickname is Great Pon. If by your boasting you can scare
away a tiger, I will then regard you as my teacher." The
Great Poa replied: "There is nothing difficult in that; if you
do not believe it, we'll go immediately in search of a tiger."
While they were saying this, they both entered a mountain
fastness to find the tiger's lair. The Small Pon said : " This
is the place where the tigers and leopards wander about.
You wait here for the tiger, while I go up the hill and see
what tactics you will use." The Great Pon, who was leaning
against a tree, sat down. Suddenly a tiger came roaring and
running toward him. The Great Pon hurriedly pulled from
behind him a willow twig and held it in his hand, then
commenced boasting thus : " I have just eaten a leopard and
then a tiger, but the tiger's meat was tough, and it stuck in
my teeth." While he was talking, he took the willow twig
and pretended to pick his teeth. When the tiger observed
this, he at once ran away and met a monkey. The tiger said :
" There is a very fierce man who ate a leopard and a tiger.
He is at the willow there picking his teeth. How dare I
attack him. I was afraid that he would eat me." The monkey
replied: "You have no courage; let me go with you to see
what kind of a man he is really like." The tiger said : " I
would not trust myself; you must go with me. You must be
tied to my back." The monkey consented to this. The tiger
had the monkey tied up and the monkey rode on his back.
They reached the presence of the " Great Pon." When the
" Great Pon " saw them, he commenced rating them in a loud
voice : " You falsehood-spreading monkey. Yesterday I caught
you and would have eaten you, but you sorrowfully begged
me and promised to bring me two tigers and two leopards
for my breakfast. Who would have thought late as it is
you've presented me with only a thin wild cat as a substitute."
When the tiger heard these words he said : " It is all up with

49] abineee /Cettg iTales..

me. I have been cheated by the monkey." He then at once
ran away. Unthought of, as the tiger ran very fast, the
monkey could not keep his seat and fell off. He was caught
by the branches, hung up and cut into two parts. Only the
monkey's head was left on the tiger's back. The tiger
returned to his cave. For a half a day he was out of breath.
He went back to look for the monkey's body, and saw the
monkej^'s head tied up by a rope. The tiger was in great
terror and said : " Fortunately I ran fast ; even then the
monkey's lower half was left behind."

Chapteb LXXXVII— The Voyage to Soochow. (^ ^ ®. )

(TiTHERE was a Pekinese who was on a voyage to Soochow for
the first time. People told him that the natives of
that place were apt to swindle him. " If you wish to purchase
anything, and if they demand two taels for anything, you should
only offer one tael for it. If they are conversing with you, and
they speak two sentences, you should only believe one-half of
what they say."

The Pekinese, after he arrived at Soochow, tested
the plan of purchasing goods. When he offered one-half
price for some goods, he got them. Afterwards, when he
met a native, he asked for his name. The other answered
that his name was Luk (meaning six). The Pekinese replied :
" So you must be No. 3." He again asked him : " How many
rooms do you occupy ? " The other replied : " Five rooms."
The Pekinese said : " So it is two and a half rooms you have."
Again he asked the man : " What people have you at home ? "
The man answered: "I have only a wife." The Pekinese
then said: " I suppose you went halves with another person
and married her."

Cbtneee /RetiB Uales. [50

Chapter LXXX VIII.— The Two Pairs of Boots. {H^ i^,.)
CTTHERE was a man who wore the wrong pair of boots.
When he walked, it appeared that one of his legs was
shorter than the other. He looked very awkward and he
himself felt there was something wrong. He said : " Why is
one of my legs shorter than the other to-day ; perhaps the cause
is that the roads are not level." The others then told him :
" You have worn the wrong pair of boots." He at once ordered
his servant to go home and bring him another pair. After
the servant was gone for a long time, he came back empty-
handed and said: "Master, you need not change; the pair at
home also has soles one thicker than the other."

Chapter LXXXIX.— The Mud Shoes. (^ ^.)

'^ H IISI, a native of Soochow, came to Shanghai to look for
Cj/ employment. A friend recommended him to a family
to act as sedan carrier. One day he happened to pass a
shoemaker's shop at the New North Gate. There were shoes
with nailed soles exposed for sale. On the signboard was
written : " Just arrived from Peking, water-proof cloth shoes
with paper and hob-nail soles, 500 cash per pair." There were
small characters on the side of the signboard stating that the
shoes are most suitable for those who ride in sedan chairs.
Ah Hsi, seeing the shoes were strong and cheap, bought
a pair. One night it rained; the streets were wet and slippery;
he wore the new shoes and walked into a ditch full of water.
The soles of his shoes came off. The spikes cut through to
his feet, which were so sore that he could not stand up. He
fell into the ditch, and some one assisted him to his feet. He
wondered why the shoes did not last longer, as they appeared

51] cblncse fldertfi C^alcs.

to be durable. He could not find the soles. He at last found
two piles of mud in the ditch ; then he knew the soles were
made of mud and covered only with a layer of paint, so that,
as soon as they got wet, they at once dissolved. He was
enraged, and called a few friends together and went back to
the shop with the soleless shoes. He said to the shopkeeper :
" You are selling mud sole shoes to cheat the unwary." The
shoemaker replied : " Our rain shoes are made for people who
ride in sedan chairs ; it is plainly written on our sign board ;
who told you to wear them to carry chairs ? " Ah Hsi became
more enraged and wanted to use his fisbs. Neither party
would give in. Finally the bystanders acted as peacemakers ;
the matter was settled by the shoemaker returning one-half
of the price of the shoes.

Chapter XC. — The Mosquitoes. {J^ ^.)

CirHEB,E was man, after he had been abroad, returned to his
home. He said to his wife : " I arrived at a place called
Yen Tze Chi (^ -J ^), where the mosquitoes are as large as
chickens. Then I passed through Mu Shan Kai (2E llj jl^);
there the mosquitoes are as large as ducks." His wife answered :
" I do not believe you ; can it be possible that there are such
big mosquitoes ? " " One night," said the husband, " when I
was asleep under a mosquito curtain, there came a mosquito.
He put his head through the curtain. I held him by the neck
and did not let him go. That mosquito was outside of the
netting. His wings were flapping all the night. It was very
cooling." His wife said: "Since you had hold of him, why
did you not bring him back with you and give him to me to
eat?" "It was fortunate enough," said the husband, "that he
did not eat me ; and you still wish to eat him."

Gbincse merrg tTales. [52

Chapter XCI— The Brother Liars. {^%W M-^
(INHERE were two brothers by adoption ; both were fond of
lying. One day the elder brother said to the younger one :
"Yesterday I ate a very large cake (^t$|#); there is no
other larger. It contained 100 catties of flour, 80 catties of
meat, and 20 catties of vegetables; all these were made into a
cake. After it was cooked, it took eight square tables to hold
it. It required more than 20 people going around continuously
to eat it. After eating at it a whole day and night, it was not
half eaten. When the feast was at its height, we lost two per-
sons. We looked for them everywhere and could not find a trace
of them. Suddenly we heard some one talking under the crust
of the cake. We lifted the crust and saw the two men
standing inside, eating away at the meat part of it. Do you
not consider that cake large?" The younger one said:
"Yesterday I also ate a very large meat dumpling (|^ Q, -J)
(a steamed bread stuffed with meat) that you may say is a large
one. Several tens of people ate of it for three days and three
nights ; even then they could not see the meat stuffing. They
ate very heartily toward the centre, then a piece of stone was
met, on which was written : ' The meat is still 30 li away.' Do
you not consider this dumpling large ? " The elder brother
asked him : " What kind of a pot was used to steam your
dumpling ? " " The same as the one used for cooking your
cake," said the younger one.

Chapter XCIL— Talking of The Sky. (f| %)

CTTHERE was a gathering of people to talk about the sky,

that is, to debate about the degree of inclination of the

sky and its distance, Each one had his own idea. Their

53] Cbfnese flCierrg ttalca.

opinions widely differed, and they could not come to a decision.
There was a wood gatherer among the crowd, who said : "I
can explain it. As to the distance of the sky from the earth
it is about 300 or 400 li. Going from below, walking slowly,
it could be reached in four days. If one walks fast, it could
be done in three days. In six or seven days, the return journey
could be made with time to spare. Why do you all dispute
about this and cannot come to a conclusion ? " Those who heard
what he said were surprised, and they asked him : " According
to what you have said, what proof have you ? " The wood-
gatherer replied : " Do you not all know that on the 23rd of
the 12th moon it is customary for every family to worship the
God of the Kitchen and send him to heaven. On that day he
goes up to heaven and on the 30th we receive him back.
From the 23rd to 30th is but seven days. Calculating one-
half of the way, it is only 300 or 400 li distant. It is not
very far." When they heard his manner of calculation,
they could not help laughing heartily. " What you have stated
is quite correct, and you are an able debater," they said.

Chapter XCIII.— Dead by Mistake, (^ H y J\^.)

(TTTHERE was a man, whose mother-in-law had died, who
requested a school master to write a posthumous
address. The teacher found an old book of miscellaneous
literature and copied one page from it. It was a posthumous
address to a grandfather-in-law that he gave him. When
the man took it over and read it, he said: "It is wrong."
When the teacher heard that it was wrong, he became
very angry, and said : " I tell you that posthumous address
was copied from a book. There cannot be a single mistake
in it, unless the wrong person has died."

Gblnese /liberty O^alea. [54

Chapter XCIV.— Kill Me One Half, (tf f@ ^ 5E-)

(TjTHERE was a very pour man who met a wealthy man, who

said: "I will present you with Tls. 1,000 if you let me

kill you outright." The poor man, after meditating for a while,

answered : " You give me Tls. 500 ; then you may half kill me."

Chapter XCV.— How to Heal a Huncliback. (g |g ^.)
'^ DOCTOR boasted that he could cure hunchbacks,
(^ similar to those whose backs are like a bow, or a dried
shrimp. He said : " If anyone asks me to make the cure, I
could make them straight as a penholder." A hunchback
happened to believe his words, and requested him to cure
his deformity. The doctor brought two large pieces of boards ;
he put one on the ground and asked the hunchback to
lie down on it. He placed the other board on top of the
hunchback. He then got a big rope and tied the boards
together at both ends as tight as possible. The hunch-
back felt the pain and loudly screamed out saying: "I do
not wish to be cured; loosen me." The doctor did not mind
what he said, but stood on the top of the boards, used his
utmost strength, and stamped with his feet. Although
the hunchback's spine was straightened, he had no breath
left. The bystanders took hold of the doctor, and would not
stand this method of treatment, and said : " Why have you
killed him by your method of healing ? " The doctor replied :
" I only know how to straighten his spine, and do not care
whether he lives or dies."

Chapter XCVI.— Economy in Danger. (^ j^.)

(TTTHERE was a man who fell into the water. His son shout-
ed out in a loud voice: " Come and rescue ! If any one
can save him, I will give him a handsome reward." His

55] Cbtnese iSicwQ Zaiee.

father, in the water, sfcuck out his head and said, in a loud
voice : "If it is three candareens of silver, come and save me ;
if more is wanted, tell him he need not come to save me."

Chapter XdVII.— Only I and a Beggar. iMMMI^^^^-)
lA\ here were two men — one named Chang and the other
Li — while wylking together one day, met a wealthy
man travelling in a sedan chair, with many followers. Chang
took hold of Li, and they hid themselves behind the front
door of a house. The former said : " The gentleman in the
sedan chair is my most intimate friend; if I do not hide
myself, he will come out of his chair and perform the necessary
ceremonies. We would have to trouble each other ; that would
not be convenient for either of us." Li answered : " You
were right to keep yourself from his view." They were walk-
ing and conversing together, and after a while they met a
cultured and well-dressed gentleman riding on horseback ; his
followers not a few. Chang again took Li aside and hid
themselves behind a front door and said : '■ That man on horse-
back is a good friend of mine from our youth. If I do not
hide myself, he will have to come down from his horse and
chin-chin to me; that will be a bother." Li again replied:
" You are right to hide yourself" They again started on.
From a long distance they saw a beggar with ragged clothes
and torn hat. crying and coming toward them. Li said : " Let
us run quick." He took hold of Chang, and they hid themselves
behind a front door. Li said : " You see that beggar ; he is
not only my near relative, but he is a good friend of mine.
If I do not hide myself, and if he gets a sight of me, he will
feel ashamed." Chang was surprised to hear this and said :
" Why do you have this sort of intimate friend ? " Li replied :
" The rich and the honoured you have owned ; there is only a
beggar left for me. Let me make friends with him."

Cbfnsse jflBerrs tlalcs. [56

Chaptkr XCVIII.— The Great Wash Tub. {^ f^ g.)

C^^WO strangers happened to meet each other. Each spoke
of the curiosities of his own place. One of them said :
" There is a wash tub in our place that can take in over 1,000
people to bathe in it." The other stranger replied : " That tub
is not considered curious ; there is a bamboo in our place ; it is
so long that it reaches the heavens. Even the heaven is not
high enough for it, so it is bent back toward the earth ; that
is what you can consider curious." The first man then
inquired: " Where is there such a long bamboo ? " The other
replied : " If there was not such a bamboo as mine, what is
there to hoop your great wash tub with ? "

Chapter XCIX.— The Arrow Wound. {% ^ ;j;|.)

C7THERE was a soldier who had received an arrow wound.
The pain was most excruciating. He called a celebrated
Burgeon to attend to him. When the doctor saw him, he
said : " It is not a difficult operation ; it is very easy to cure."
He then took a large pair of scissors and cut away square the
arrow handle that was protruding from the flesh. He at once
demanded his fees and wanted to leave. The soldier said :
"The arrow handle has been cut, but the arrow head is still
in the flesh ; why do you not pull it out before you go ? " The
surgeon shook his head and said : " It is not my business ; my
surgeon's work is finished. As to the arrow head in the flesh, it
is the physician's work; why do you ask a surgeon to do it ? "

Chapter C— Unlucky Sayings. (Tf, fj ^.)
CjiI here was a man who had the habit of saying unlucky
things. It was known to all. A child was born to a man of
fifty. On the third morning friends went to congratulate him.

This man also went. A friend advised him thus : "' You are
always saying unlucky things ; it is better that you should not
go." The man said : " I will go with you and will not utter a
word; what do you think of it? " The friend answered : " If
you really will not speak, then you may go." They went
together to the new-born child's father's house to pay their
congratulations. The man went straight to the dining room
and commenced eating, not saying a word. His friend was very
glad of this. After the feast, he went to thank the host and
said : " I have not spoken a word to-day. After I leave here,
if your baby gets fits and dies, don't blame me for it."

Chapter CI— The Stupid Worm, (fj^ ^ ^.)

C^THERE was a Mandarin whose decision in lawsuits was not
always fair. The people hated him and nicknamed
him a " stupid worm." Notices were pasted up in public
places criticizing his actions. The mandarin seeing that some
notices were on the walls, said to his underlings : " There is an
order to catch ' stupid worms,' why do you not go to arrest
them ? The people will be displeased, I will allow you three
days to catch three stupid worms. If one is left unarrested,
you will be beaten to death." He hastened their going. After
the underlings received the warrant, they started on their way.
They complained to themselves : "Such a mandarin, issuing
such orders ; where are we to make the arrests ? " When they
got outside of the city walls, they saw a man riding on horse-
back with a package on his head. Being curious, they asked
him why he did not put the package on the horse. He
replied : " Fearing the weight is too heavy for the horse, I
placed it on my head, so as to save the horse's strength."
When the underlings heard this, they said : " This man
can be considered a stupid worm." They took him to the

Cbtnese /OicrrB Zales. [58

mandarin. At the gates of the city they saw a man with a
bamboo pole trying to pass the gate. Holding it vertically,
the gate was too low; horizontally, it was not wide enough.
After making several attempts, he failed to enter. The
underlings said : " This is another stupid worm ; we will
take him along. There is one more whom we cannot find
anywhere. We can only take these two along and ask for
more time to catch the third." They were brought before
the magistrate, who asked the one that rode on horseback :
"Did you place a package on your head to relieve the horse?
You may be regarded as a stupid worm." Then he asked the
one with the bamboo pole: "Did you carry a bamboo pole to
pass the gate ? When you held it straight up, the gate was
too low; crosswise, it was not wide enough. Why did you not
use a saw and saw it in two ? Then you could enter the gate."
When the underlings heard this, they hastily knelt down
and addressed the mandarin thus: "We have found the third
stupid worm." They were asked : " Who is he ? " They
replied : " Wait till your successor arrives; we will know whom
to arrest."