Digitized by the Internet Archive
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Presented to the
LIBRARIES of the
UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO
^ JUNO 2 2004 ^)
Compiled yvor Daniel Cupid
bjr Oliver Herford
and John Cecil Clay
Charles Sr:ribner's Sons
j^ ebif y^ orK. i : : : : 1910
COPYRIGHT, 19 10
And all whom TOUlove
And all who love YOU
A WORD TO THE WISE
IT has long been the belief of the authors
that Love-making should be included
in the regular curriculum of our schools.
It seems to us the most important branch
How few of us know how to make love
properly, and how very few, after making
it, know how to keep it!
So much depends upon the kind of love
which IS made. There are no artificial
methods of preserving love, but the best
kind will keep forever. Few beginners
know how to make the lasting kind, and
many, even, of those with vast experience
are still quite clumsy. The only way is to
keep at it.
We hope that this hook will fill a long-
felt want. Surely of all long-felt wants the
want of love seems longest.
It IS for the earnest student of True
Love that we have compiled this cyclo-
THE first letter, placed
by Cupid at the head
of his Alphabet, because
it stands for Amour,
Ardor, Art, Affinity,
Affability, Angel, etc.;
also A is the easiest
word to spell, with the exception of I.
The origin of the form of our capital
letter A is supposed to have been an
Egyptian symbol (see illustration) repre-
senting two people engaged in the ancient
pastime called Kyssin, which survives
even at the present day. A, by many sup-
posed to be the oldest
of the alphabet and
constituting, as it does,
the initial of Adam's
name, was doubtless
the only letter in exist-
ence at the time Adam
learned to write.
The words Ark, Antediluvian, Ancestry,
Archaeology, and Antiquity all support
the above theory.
Girls like Adelaide, Agatha, Agnes, Alice,
Althea, Amanda, Amy, Angelina, and
Arabella, whose initials fall in this letter
will be Attractive, Amiable, Artless, and in
the opposite sex most attracted by those of
Ardent, Ambitious, and Affable disposition.
Absence. The sixth sense, arrived at by
the exclusion of the other five. A pow-
erful stimulant to love. See longing.
When combined with distance lends
enchantment to the other five senses.
Adamant, m. A very hard word. See
Admiration. From admi, the Persian
word meaning love, and ration, food;
love-food or food of love.
Affinity, /. Ad, at; finis, boundary;
at the boundary. The one one meets
around the corner.
Alimony. The fine for speeding in the
joy-ride of Matrimony.
Altar. The forge where hearts are
fused. From the word halter, to hitch.
Amount. A foreign measure of Love.
Anchor. The symbol of Hope. See
Enghsh word hanker, to long for.
Angel. See HER.
Appendix. See last page.
Arm. The arm is a muscular string
connecting the hand with the shoul-
der. A man can give his
arm without giving his
shield — Gules, pierced by
an Arrow — Argent. Crest,
on an olive branch, a
Dove Proper ringed ^^OiH^-v
d'or, flappant. ^^
Ashes. Fashionable Lenten head-dress.
Especially effective when combined
A show-down in the Game of
FHE BATHING GIRL
FOUND ALONG THE SEASHORE IN GREAT NUMBERS DURING THE SUMMER
MONTHS. THEY CAN HARDLY BE CALLED AQUATIC. AS THEY RARELY GO INTO
THE WATER MORE THAN ENOUGH TO WET THE FEET. WITH THEIR BEAUTIFULLY
TANNED ARMS AND NCCKS AND THEIR SHAPELY. GRACEFUL LEGS THEY PRESENT
A REFRESHING PICTURE TO THE TIRED-EYED. OFFICE-FAGGED WEEK-ENDER
f^+ + 4.p>
i B 1
IS supposed to take its
shape from the popular
and industrious insect
known as the Bee (see
claim that its form is
copied from the curves
of Cupid's Bow. In
either case its chief characteristic is
B is a letter beloved of all. Bashful,
Bouncing, Beautiful, and Bonny, all of
which pleasing attributes are the natural
inheritance of the girls to whose lot
the initial B shall
fall. See Betty, Bella,
Bertha, Bridget, and
The most con-
genial qualities of the
opposite sex will be
Bravery, Brawn, Brisk-
ness, and Brains.
Baby. A small thing somewhat resem-
bhng a cupid without wings.
Bachelor, n. An immune.
Balcony. Cupid's fire escape.
Beauty, /. An affection of the skin;
taking but not contagious. Most popu-
lar American export.
Best. Best girl — see Her.
Bill. See coo.
Bird. See hat.
Blush. A weakness of youth and an
accomplishment of experience. The
pink of impropriety.
Bond. There are two kinds. The
United States bonds and Cupid's bonds
of the united state.
Bravery. A quality looked for in man,
found in woman. The personal adorn-
ment of a woman and the mental adorn-
ment of a man.
Breach, I^reach of promise suit. A suit
made to fit the devil, but sometimes
worn by Cupid.
Break, to break hearts. Popular pas-
time of the American girl.
Brute, ;/. A husband.
IS the curliest of all the
letters. It takes its
shape from the first
golden curl, given as a
Love Token by Cupid
to Psyche, when he
found her again, after
their first quarrel, thus
originating the Society of Psychical Re-
search and the Engagement Ring.
C, being the initial of Cupid, has many
of his charming graces, being Careless,
Coquettish, Capricious, Clandestine,
Clinging, and Curious.
These charms will also be found in the
maids who follow the
curly initial C.
Among the C girls are
the following: Chloe,
Clorinda, Clarice, Clara,
Constance, Cynthia, and
The attractive qualities of their affini-
ties are Candor, Coolness, Cynicism,
Cleverness, and Cash.
Cake, Wedding Cake. A saccharine
monument to the memory of Love.
Care. The Mother of Thrift and the
Child of Extravagance. If you do not
take it before marriage it will over-
take you after.
-^Caress. A sort of dope; very enjoyable.
Cash. A sort of window fastener to keep
Love from flying out.
Cad, m. The other man.
Cat, /. The other woman.
Chair. A small ingeniously constructed
seat for two people. Called after Che-
ops, the inventor. The first chair was
presented to Cassiopeia and now ap-
pears in the constellation of that name.
Cheese. Part of Cupid's Menu (Bread
and Cheese and Kisses).
Clock. A paradoxical chaperon who is
least in the way when it doesn't go.
Consent. See Papa.
Coo. See bill.
Courtship. A picturesque gateway to
a commonplace estate.
Cure, of Love. Marriage.
Curiosity. The taper which lights the
flame of Love.
Curl, /. A man trap. v. to curl. The
dog curls up to sleep, the cat curls up to
sleep, even my lady curls up to sleep.
Cynic. One who has been stung.
The letter D dates from
about 967 B. C.
Hipopotamia, one of
Solomon's many wives,
having been blessed
with no children, had
a little pet animal, pre-
sumably much hke the
modern lap Jog, of which she was very
fond and was forever exclaiming of it,
'* Isn't it Dear!" or *^ Isn't it a Darling!"
Solomon would invariably reply, **No,
Dog gone it!" and sometimes even, **No,
D it!" Then Hipopotamia would
smile, disclosing two very lovely Dimples.
Realizing the useful-
ness of such words,
Solomon created the
letter D, in order to be
able to spell them. In
the hieroglyphics of the
times it was written as
this fragment will show,
the form being taken from Hipopotamia's
little pet dog, Hydrophobia.
D has turned out to be one of the most
useful letters in Cupid's Alphabet, begin-
ning as it does, Dearie, Ducky, Dreams,
DeHght, Determination, and Desire. But
it has an unhappy side in Don't, Disap-
pointment, and Despair.
The girls under this letter are all Dar-
lings. See any one of them.
Darling. From Dearling, a little Dear
— sometimes excessively dear.
Dear. Beloved — also expensive.
Dawn. A term for early morning, used
by people who don't have to get up.
Defects. What a woman loves a man
Delusion. Hope's dressmaker.
Desire. Love's partner.
Dimple, /. A pitfall in a garden of Blush
Doggerel. Rhyme without reason, gen-
erally written by puppies.
Dough. That which is kneaded. A
slang word for money.
Dove. A tender fowl, popular both in
poetry and cookery books. When too
old to roast or broil, may be served up
in verse as the emblem of conjugal love.
Dream. Fem. Term used by a woman
describing a hat.
Mas. Term describing the woman
used by the man who is destined to buy
I Duel. The highest compliment two men
'^ can pay one woman.
Duty. A millstone sometimes mistaken
by Cupid for a heart. What we expect
The letter E takes its
shape from the Ele-
phant, in whose sym-»
bohcal anatomy it plays
the most important
It is the belief of sci-
entists that no animal
has been responsible for more exclama-
tions expressive of amazement than the
Elephant, the presence of **E" inl^jacu-
lation, E xtraordinary, E gad, E normous,
is directly traceable to the close relation
of the letter to that popular pachyderm.
The girls under E, for
instance, Edith, Eleanor,
Elizabeth, Elsie, Emily,
Emma, Esther, Eunice,
Evangeline, and Evelina,
are distinguished for
Ease, Elegance, Ex-
citability, and Econ-
omy, and will be most
attracted in the opposite sex by Extrava-
gance, Eccentricity, and Earlyrising.
Eternity. 'Til be down in a minute."
Evil. A wile of the devil.
"Ever and for Ever." The devil of a
Excuse. Self accusation.
Experience. An expensive tutor.
Eyebrow. A mustache worn over the
eye. An incentive to sonnets.
The form of the letter
F was first discovered
on an ancient fragment
of pottery by a German
archaeologist, in the
shape of a sandal on
what is supposed to be
the foot of Achilles. As
will be seen in the accompanying cut the
heel of the sandal and the part covering
what is known as the ** tendon of Achilles"
is peculiarly designed for the protection
of that part of the foot which was the
only vulnerable spot in Achilles's foot.
This can at best be accepted only as an
F girls will be Frank,
Fragile, and Fastidi-
ous, and those named
Fanny, Felicia, Flora,
Fidelia, Florence, Fran-
ces, or Flo will find their
affinities in those of the
opposite sex who are Fearless, Fickle,
Fainting. (Obsolete.) A fem-
Fashion. Fem. The sum of
all the virtues. fig 1
Fig, Fig Leaf. A Fall Fash-
ion of a false modiste. See Fig. i.
First. First Love. An appetiser. First
Kiss. Much has been written about
the exquisite joy of this, still it is
unsatisfying, hence the Second, the
Third, etc., ad lib.
Flirtation. A way for two people, who
are not married to each other, to pass
the time. As a matter of fact a flirta-
tion isn't anything, it's a thing to do
and is really easier to do than to de-
scribe. There are many sorts of Flirta-
tion. The Every-day or Sidewalk Flir-
tation is the commonest kind. Other
very popular forms are the Eye, the
Eyebrow, the Fan, the Glove, the
Handkerchief, and the Foot Flirtation.
A natural attribute to woman, but an
easily acquired accomplishment in man.
Forever. Love's promissory note (sub-
ject to discount).
/^ cfj, 4= 4= r-S
i G t
The present form of the
letter G is derived from
the ancient Babylonian
symbol Gee. The letter
in its present shape is
composed of only half
of the Babylonian
symbol, which is
properly written GG or Gee Gee (see cut).
When we consider that without this
letter there could be no girls in the
world, we should be thankful for G; in
fact we are in favor of its being made
the National Thanksgiving Letter.
Grace, and all the girls
of this letter will be Glori-
ous with their Gener-
osity, Gentleness, Grace,
and Gaiety, and cannot
be won by Gold or
Gems. He who would win
one of these must be Guileless and
Garter, (seekneo A species of serpent.
Gas, Gas-light. A light often too weak
for one and generally too strong for two.
"The fainter the gas the braver the
beau.^' — Shakespeare.
Girl. The beginning of trouble. An
apple blossom in the Garden of Love.
Gooseberry. An unbidden fruit.
Gossip. Nothing to speak of.
Grass Widow. A Grass Widow is a
Widow which makes hay.
TYPE FOUND PRETTY MUCH ALL OVER NORTH AMERICA
NOTE THE HEAD-DRESS OR WAR-BONNET OF FEATHERS. THEY
HAVE ALSO VARIOUS COLORED SUBSTANCES KNOWN AS
■• WAR-PAINT," WHICH THEY SMEAR ON THEIR FACES. GIVING A
GHASTLY AND UNNATURAL APPEARANCE. THIS PRACTICE IS
QUITE COMMON. SOME OF THIS TYPE. HOWEVER, ARE MOST
ATTRACTIVE, ESPECIALLY THOSE FOUND IN THE UN-UNITED STATF
/"] ^ 4-4- p5
I ^^ 1
THE eighth letter of
its form from the Hittite
symbol meaning, **An
Heir has been born to
his House." The sym-
bol as shown in the
cut represents two
Hittite gentlemen shaking hands. The
gladder looking one is the proud father,
and is being congratulated upon the birth
of his first son. (Girls did not count for
so much then as now.) In later sym-
bolic writing this symbol came to stand
for a pleasant or good-natured greeting,
as shown in such words as,
Howdhy (Hittite), How
(North American Indian),
Howdedo (New England),
Hello (Telephonic), and
It would be hard to reck-
on the immense amount of
good this letter has done, for without Hell
and Headache how many of us would be
good ? And O the joys of life! For with-
out H where would Happiness and the
Honeymoon be ? And where Heart,
Hope, Health, and Harmony ?
Girls under this sign will be Hand-
some, Honest, and Home-loving, but those
named Helen, Harriet, Henrietta, and
Hannah seem to be easily Hypnotized by
Hollow, Hypocritical Humbugs of the
Happiness. The mainspring of the good-
Heaven. "All in her eye.''
Heart. The ticker in the Bourse of
Hearticulture. See Cupid's Almanac.
Hell ! An expression of petulance.
Hesitation. The thief of good times.
Honesty. A bunker in the game of
Honeymoon. The sugar on the bread
Hope. ** . . . the child of Care,
And pretty sister of Despair."
I ^ I
Ui= + *U
The letter I spells by
itself the most popular
word in our language,
though, under Cupid's
spell, the word *'U'' is
more thought of, ^'You
and I" being often the
most happy of Cupid's
combinations. I is the most Attenuated
letter of the Alphabet.
By some the letter I is supposed to have
possessed originally a well-rounded and
ornate figure, having been worn to its
present thread-like shape by constant use
in speech and writing.
When not acting in its popular
capacity of First Personal Pronoun,
I is anything but popular as a letter,
standing as it does for Indifference,
Irksomeness, Insignificance, Indus-
try, and other uncongenial things.
I has a leaning to the cold and
classic in its choice of females.
some of its favorites being, Iphigenia,
Irene, Imogen, Ivias, and lolanthe. To
these ladies the most appeahng mascuHne
quahties will be Irony, Idleness, Inde-
pendence, and Impecuniosity.
I. The most popular letter in the
If. The drawbridge to the Castle of
Illusion. Love's tailor and Art's
Ink. The stuff that Bills, Books, and
Billet-doux are made of.
iTSfNocENCE. A moral vacuum.
+ + + LJ
WE are confident, takes
its shape from one of
Venus's doves. We
don't know which one,
but we think it is the
Dove of Peace or pos-
sibly the Turtle Dove;
we are quite sure it is
not from the Ring Dove. To strengthen
our theory we present herewith a cut of
a fragment of a loving cup presented to
Cupid at a dinner given in his honor by
the Ancient and Honorable Society of
Psychic Research, just when we cannot
tell, for unfortunately the date is only
left in part, but it must have been long,
long ago when Love was
There has been much
controversy over this frag-
ment, some claiming it to
represent a Jay Bird, oth-
ers a Duck, some an Owl
because of the moon in its eye, but we are
sure it's a love of a Dove! Why ? Be-
cause a Jay Bird is blue, a Duck has
webbed feet, and an Owl a hooked bill.
It is a jolly letter and has been the be-
ginning of much Joy and foolish Jealousy.
The worst thing it ever did was when it
started the word Jilt.
The men most attractive to such Jolly
girls as Jane, Julia, Josephine, Jemima,
Juliet, and Juliana are those of Just but
Jealousy. Cupid's shadow.
Jest. See life.
" Life is a jest
And all things show it;
I thought so once —
But now I know it."
— Gays Epitaph.
Jilt. An angel unawares. Originally
Jolt, i. e.y a jolt on the path of True Love
which never runs smooth. Schopen-
hauer in his great work on Dutch Treats
spells it chilt^ and gives it as an obsolete
past tense of the verb to chill.
Joy. The Libretto of Laughter.
June. The time to make hay.
^ K 1
The form of the letter
K we trace to the Assyr-
ian Cherubis Figure of
Karubi, *'the mighty,"
who stood at the Gate-
way of Earthly Happi-
ness and guarded the
Pathway of True Love.
It is strange that these composite boy-
bird figures were also known as Shedi.
The nearest word we have to which
is the Hebrew shedim (devils). Un-
questionably it is from the word Karubi
that we get our word Kubid or Cupid.
The girls under this sign
are usually named Kath-
erine (meaning Pure) or one
of its diminutives — Kitty or
Kate. They are always Kind
and extremely Kissable,while
the men are apt to be Keen,
Khef. (Pronounced kejf.) Arabic slang,
to loaf happily, to invite one's soul.
The action of doing nothing.
Kindness. The larger half of the other
King. The card that takes the Queen.
KiSMATE. A young lady one is on kissing
Kismet. Originally kiss met, meaning
Kiss. A course of procedure, cunningly
devised, for the mutual stoppage of
speech at a moment when words are
Kissing. See under mustache. A pas-
time of the unmarried.
Knee. An adjustable, animated settee
designed for the use of ladies.
Knowledge. Dame Nature's lover.
Knot. An entanglement.
TRUE LOVER'S HALF HITCH MARRIAGE
KNOT OR ENGAGEMENT KNOT OR SLIP NOT
THE WESTERN TYPE
U 4^ ^ *
ONG, long ago, the
God of Love was sup-
posed to dwell in the
Moon and was called
Lameck (the Moon
God). From the some-
times startling effect
moonlight had upon the
sentimental, it was believed that the moon-
beams were the arrows of the God of Love
(Cupid's Arrows). Hence this symbol (see
cut) came to mean affection, and from it
came the letter L, ranking very high in
Cupid's Alphabet, beginning, as it does,
the most important word in the history of
the world. Love. This
symbol was usually
found, as in Cupid's
Alphabet, following the
symbol of Kubid, and
meaning that Love
follows in the path of
The neo-Babylonian characters are the
most sentimental ever known, as they are
made up almost entirely of arrangements
of this symbol slightly conventionalized.
Lois, Laura, Leonora, Lucy, Lydia,
Lucretia, Louise, and Lucinda, the
women under this sign, are Languid,
Luscious, Lackadaisical, and Loving;
while the men are usually named Lionel
and are Light-hearted, and Lazy.
Note: — It is interesting to note the
Chinese use of the same symbol sur-
rounded by tears JV , pronounced sim,
meaning Heart. Jj Jj
Lap. a pillow. See Gray.
"Here rests his head upon the lap of earth."
Lips. The two edges or borders of the
mouth; the two fleshy or muscular
parts composing the opening of the
mouth. Generally used for kissing,
cussing, and conversation.
Loneliness. An instigation. The mar-
ried man's meat, the single man's
Lottery. From lot, state; awry, askew.
A cynical definition of marriage.
Love. A transitory derangement of all
7— the five senses. ' The chemistry of at-
Lure. Cupid's signposts, not always
safe to follow. They may be found in
many and fantastic shapes, such as a
bow of ribbon, a stray ringlet, a side-
long glance, a sigh, or a breath of helio-
/-) 4= 4> 4h (h
\ M 1
^ + * 4" CJ
IS so ancient that no
one really knows where
it came from. How-
ever, because of the
fragment of the jar
shown here (see cut),
found just outside the
Garden of Eden and
representing two outsiders bargaining, the
origin of this letter has been credited to
the Hebrews, and is interesting in show-
ing the politeness of these early people.
Money, Moses, and Mercantile all
strengthen this theory.
Girls of this letter
will be Modest and
will have Merry and
and vv'ill be most hap-
py when married to
men of Means.
The one thing to mar this letter is its
connection with the word Mitten.
Marriage. The conventional ending of
a love affairj A lonesome state.
Memory. A thing to forget with.
Mirror (her mirror). Cupid's cook
Misery. Lover of Company.
Modesty. Conscious purity.
Mole. The exception that proves the
Money. See Uncle.
Monogamy. Sometimes spelling mo-
Moon. A planetary old maid who busies
herself about other people's love affairs
and the recipient of love confidences.
Mrs. The O. K. of respectability.
Mustache. As Kipling says: "Kissing
a man without a mustache is Hke eating
an egg without salt." ( ?) The ques-
tion was recently put before the Ten
Million subscribers of The Perfectladys
Home Journal, every one of whom,
without a single exception, replied that
she did not know — never having eaten
an egg without salt.
A Masculine Note:— If SHE is an M
girl you will be lucky if HER name is
Malinda or Miriam or Mabel or
Miranda or Melicent or Maud or
Mehetabel or Magdalene or Maria or
Minerva or Marion or Minna or Mar-
garet or Matilda or Marcia or Marianne
or Melissa or Martha or Mary.
TYPE FOUND AT FIFTH AVENUE AND 34rM STREET
ABOUT 4 O'CLOCK
«^] * 4- 4= Pi
1 N 1
U ^ ^ 4> (J
IS the sign of the nega-
tive, and is found first
in the form of an eel on
an ancient Egyptian
tablet from a lady re-
fusing her hand in mar-
riage and slipping out
of it in a nice and
graceful manner. Evidently the symbol
of polite refusal.
N girls, Hke Nora and Nancy and Nell
will be Nice and Naive and sometimes
Naughty. It is not a popular letter with
men because of its association with Nerv-
ous, No, Never, and Numb.
ure. The mistress
of the House of
Life, in which
Love is ever the
Neglect. A breakfast food of Love.
Never! A feminine sign of yielding.
-f- No. Feminine for Tes.
Nothing. The boundaries of the Uni-
verse and of Love.
Number. (Cupid's Lucky Number) 2.
HAS its origin in the
Wedding Ring and is
the symbol of Eternity.
It seems to have been
used by all the peoples
of the Earth, as we find
it in the Babylonian,
Archaic, Old Aramaean,
Cypriote, and practically in all writings of
From its very shape it means happiness
O girls will be Orderly, and in olden
times were fond of Osculation. The men
are often Odd, Ostentatious, and Over-
Oceans. A minute
measure of Love.
Oh! An exclamation
meaning *'this is so
Onions. Should never be eaten alone.
Opportunity. An invitation of Fate.
Osculation. A game of chance.
Own. To possess. From onus, a bur-
IN its primitive form
was the symbol of pair-
ing, being, as the cut
shows, a combination
of U and I. The sort
of thing a bashful lover
would carve on a tree
or stone or scratch in
taking a walk with his
It seems natural that it should stand for
Perfume, Poetry, Pastime, Pleasure, Pas-
sion, Panacea, Paradise, and Peace.
In Cupid's Alphabet, to prevent the
slightest breath of scandal, it is always
placed after the symbol of
the wedding ring.
The girls who come within
the pale of this letter (see
Phyllis, Prudence, Pearl,
Penelope, Pauline, Philippa,
Phcebe, or Priscilla), will be
Petite and Pretty and will
have perfect Poise. While the men will
be Polite and Polished, great Posers and
Poker Players, but Pliable in the hands
Passion. The father of Tenderness.
Purity. The mother of Tenderness.
Unconscious modesty. (See Modesty.)
Past. Something to be forgotten.
Patience. The tip Time gives to the
Pity. Love's half brother.
•^Pleasure. True Love's shadow.
Prudence. "Said Love: * How strange
we never met before;
But now we've met, I hope we'll meet
no more !'"
II AS shown by this an-
cient bit of sculpture,
in its original hiero-
glyphical form repre-
sented a lover's quarrel,
and, from the cast of
features, presumably an
Amorite. This proves
it of very ancient origin, as in the early
times the Amorites were the dominant
race of Syria and Canaan, which are
named on the oldest Babylonian monu-
ments *'the land of the Amorites." (See
map of Amouria.) There are plenty of
Amourites in the world to-day, but they
show not the slightest
desire to congregate,
but, quite to the con-
trary, can be found
wandering off in pairs
at the slightest pretext.
Such words as Quib-
ble, Quirk, Quiz, Quip,
and Querulous seem to strengthen the
unpleasant features of this letter.
Fortunately there are no Q girls; they
would be very Queer if there were.
-f- Question. Woman.
TYPE (A WIDOW) FOUND THE WORLD OVER
VERY DANGEROUS TO MAN
This form we find first
used as the symbol on
the seal of Rabsaris,
chief of the eunuchs,
in the reign of Senna-
cherib, King of Assyria.
The symbol evidently
represents Rabsaris at
his daily task of watching the ladies of
the Royal Harem to see that they did not
indulge too freely in sweetmeats. Some
wit of the day twisted Rabsaris into
Rabart, in Assyrian, to stretch, to Rub-
ber, and so a new symbol in the writing
of the times was born and we have the
Not the most cheerful
letter in Cupid's Alphabet,
bringing with it as it does,
Refusal, Regret, Remorse,
Revenge, *' Please Remit,"
and that great hindrance to
Girls under this sign combine the sweet-
ness of the Rose with the fire and depth
of the Ruby, and will be most attracted
to those in the opposite sex of Reckless
and Roving disposition.
Religion. **In the religion of Love the
courtesan is a heretic; but the nun is
an atheist." — Richard Garnett.
Ribbon. A rope in disguise.
Rice. The confetti of matrimony.
Ring. Symbol of slavery.
Romance. Once upon a time. Seldom
Rose. The hardest working flower in
Ruffle. A frill on the outskirts of good
Rule, Golden Rule. **Do unto others,"
etc. Canonical extenuation of Oscula-
1 s =^
The story of S is Sad-
Monday in the Gar-
den and a lovely day.
Just enough air stirring
to rustle the leaves
Wednesday, if anything better.
Thursday, a wonderful day, languor-
ous w^ith the perfume of flowers. The
birds never sang so sweetly, the butter-
flies never seemed so brilliant. The little
silver brook fell into the lake with so
soothing a sound and the
drowsy hum of the bee was
like a lullaby. Such a dreamy
contentment seemed to per-
vade the whole Garden. I jke
the breath of a rose a caressing
zephyr sighed overhead and
creaked ever so little the old
signboard nestled among the leaves. The
old signboard with this inscription in quaint
characters, ^' Quamdiu se bene gessent/'
Adam looked up from where he lolled in
the soft grass and smiled as at an old
friend. He stretched and drew a deep
breath of content. The day seemed the
most wonderful he had known.
Friday, Black Friday they called it
afterward, broke clear and bright, but on
the horizon great piles of black cloud and
far off the ominous muttering of thunder.
All nature seemed nervous and a-tremble.
The breeze was fitful and petulant and the
hush of some impending evil hung over
the Garden. The old signboard creaked
sharply. Poor Adam! (Poor Us ! ! !)
There confronting him was this word in
fresh bright paint,
(See Note) *'SKYDDU"
That night it rained. Oh, how it
Because this symbol (see cut), pro-
nounced es like the hiss of a serpent, can
be traced back to the day the Adams
moved, and which stood for Sin, Scandal,
Shame, Sorrow, Scorn, Satire, Suspicion,
Scowl, and Selfishness, people have been
willing to accept Adam's story, and the
poor old serpent has been made the scape-
goat in the whole afTair.
We have gone very carefully into this
matter, and we find that Adam was a lazy
poet and dreamer and was put out of Eden
for not paying his rent.
The girls under S will be Stylish, Sen-
timental, Sincere, and Simple in their
tastes, while the men will be Silver-
tongued and Smooth.
Note : — ^This quaint form of Dispossess Notice we
find used all through the Stone and Iron Ages.
Secret. A feminine invention for the
rapid dissemination of news.
Sense. The safest fuel for the flame on
Sensitiveness. A symptom.
Sentiment. Baedeker to the Land of
Love. Tells you what to admire.
Sigh. The rustle of a caged cupid's
Silence. If silence gives consent, how
is it women marry?
Sin. a matter of opinion. What other
people do and we talk about.
1 Sofa. A receptacle for spoons.
Spoon. An arrangement for supplying
nourishment to the lovesick.
Suspicion. A hair of the wrong color.
Sympathy. Love's sister.
I ^ I
In Adam's Autobiog-
raphy we find, toward
the end of the sojourn
in the Garden, this
symbol (see cut on
this page) often used
and always in this
sense, '*And being an-
hungered we went to the v:^:^ pst>y
and ate." Poetic translators
of these lines have been
pleased to call this symbol
"The Tree of Life,'' and weave a pretty
story around it which
fits in with Adam's
folderol about the
We find, however, much
used in the Phoenician
hieroglyphics, the most
ancient of all languages,
this symbol, ^^v^'^p^ the sign of
the usurer or /I pawn-shop.
This uhques- J/ tionably estab-
hshes our ver- '^^-ir^ gion of this gar-
den story. (See S.) The variation in
Adam's way of writing the symbol is due
either to that extreme sense of delicacy
which would naturally make him wish
to disguise the unpleasant, or to sheer
laziness. He was such a poet.
Girls fortunate enough to come under
this letter will be Tender and True, and
will be most attracted by Tall, Talented,
Telephone. Love's Telephone Num-
ber: — Two Won, O Heaven! !
Temptation. Woman. Anything for-
bidden. A challenge. An invitation
Three. A crowd. Love's unlucky num-
L-TiME. Woman's worst enemy. ' A cure-
True Love. An old-fashioned senti-
Trust. A love-preserver on the Ship of
Truth. A very painful irritant.
TYPE FOUND FRIVOLLING ON THE STAIRS
AND IN CONSERVATORIES
r^ 4- * 4k (\
I ^^ 1
U ^^ * 4*= U
The old Assyrians,
needing men for their
many wars, did not be-
lieve in Race Suicide.
The law therefore was
that all men arriving at
the age of twenty-three
and not married must
wear a yoke of wood about the neck un-
til such time as they should wed. (Old
bachelors were rare in Assyria.)
It is natural then that the yoke should
have become the symbol of bachelorhood.
The cut herewith shows this symbol from
a tablet from the Epic of
Nimrod. U takes its form
from this yoke and its
sound from the Assyrian
UN, implying negation,
as shown in such words
as Unit, Until, Unsafe,
ble, Unblemished, Un-
broken, Uncalled, Undutiful, Unburied,
Unfashionable, Unfeeling, Unfruitful,
Unpoetic, Unmarried, and Unwise.
U girls are usually Unsophisticated and
Unaffected, and the men for them to
marry should be Useful, Upright, and
Un. a cantankerous prefix which con-
tradicts every adjective it meets.
Union. A combination of at least two
Us. The plural of U.
n 4- * ^h n
ORIGINATED from an
early representation of
Venus rising from the
This symbol was used
upon the ** Ladies' En-
trance" to all the pub-
lic baths of the ancients.
In Cupid's Alphabet, in honor of his
mother, this symbol was the last and
stood for Veneration and Virtue, but as
customs changed it became necessary to
add the Wedding symbol.
From the fact that Venus had five
sweethearts, came the use of this symbol
to denote 5.
Valeria, Victoria, Vir-
ginia, Vivian, Vera, and
Violet, the lucky girls
under this sign, will be
as sweet as the Verbena
and Versed in every art
to make the male heart
Vibrate Violently. The men will be
Vigorous but Visionary, and inclined to
be fond of the Vine.
Variety. Is the spice of Love,
-f- Victim. Bridegroom.
COMES from the very
sacred and beautiful
symbol of Wedlock.
One cannot realize, un-
less quite familiar with
these ancient peoples,
with what reverence
they held this symbol.
What poetry and romance surged through
the mind of him who gazed upon it, what
fluttering of heart, what dizziness. Yes,
the ancients loved marriage. They adored
it! Some of them were so devoted to it
that they did it over and over again,
Solomon for instance. At times the rush
was so great that the
clerks in the Office
of Record would get
behind in their
work, and in their
haste would neglect
to make the hole
in the wedding ring, showing the Bride-
groom's hand so JVj in the symbol
and giving the opportunity for some
one to advance the theory that this
symbol did not mean marriage, but
represented the doctor offering a pill to
his patient, meaning sickness. This is
W girls will be Wholesome, Winning,
and Wise, and will be most happy when
Wedded to men of Wealth.
"^^^t^^AisT. The equator of Heaven.
Web. a net. An entanglement. Doubt-
less from the German wetb, woman.
Wedding. A necessary formality before
securing a divorce.
Widow. The most dangerous variety of
-J- Wife. A darning attachment for the do-
Woman. The last but not the least of all
created things, an afterthought.
TYPE FOUND IN THE SOUTHERN
i X 1
U 4^ * 4= U
COMES from Cupid's
own mark, used by him
in the days before writ-
ing was invented and
every one had his or her
own particular mark
to sign checks, I. O. U's,
and Love Letters.
We are indebted to the British Mu-
seum for allowing us access to their
treasure chambers. There we find this
mark on many dainty billet-doux left upon
Psyche's dressing table by Cupid.
The symbol, for many centuries, of
True Love, and many variations of it
were used; such as:
I I am overjoyed.
f I have the blues.
Fly with me.
^ — ^Meet me.
*(L < <s Meet me by moonlight.
^ Let us be married.
Ji ""^ I love you not.
o Do you think you can support
•^•**Si-* wife ?
<e C? « I will come to-night.
yn^-^ I leave tov^n to-morrow.
^ ^ ^ Come back, I love you.
X girls are usually thought of with
great tenderness by a man, but they are
sometimes a considerable annoyance, as,
for example, Xanthippe.
F OK LISS NOCtUHNAL Wfl . LIKE IH( I N I I '. H iPAWWOtV, N 'J iV
'LINIUUL ON MANMAIIAN ISLANU WHILE AI THE IIMt Of I M E
10 ur iMi uuiLM iMfr mke AbsoiurEiy unknown to ime
Ir iMt MObf WONUEWEUI. IKAII OE I M I b IrPt IS tCONOMY
i Y 1
4= * 4" U
A derivative of Wise.
We show here the
central figure from a
decoration over the
entrance to the Temple
of Cupid, and natu-
rally supposed to repre-
sent the High Priest
pronouncing the Wedding Blessing. With
this before us it is easy to understand
why Y is the parent of such words as
Yearn, Yea, Yielding, Yes, and Yoking.
Another poetic minded archaeologist
has tried to persuade us to his theory
that the romantic ancients, who were for-
ever giving human form to
things, symbolized in this fig-
ure the Waterfall. His the-
ory is without foundation.
Y girls will be ever Youth-
ful and are rare as Yttrium.
They should be much
sought after by You men.
Yes. Cupid's password.
You. Whoever you are.
f Youth. The time we wasted.l Cupid's
The symbol, shown
herewith, from an an-
cient roller seal dating
back to the earliest days
of the Turkish race,
shows its owner wor-
shipping at the shrine
of Kupid. (Hence the
word Zealot.) The arrangement of his
hair shows him to be a bachelor, so pre-
sumably he is beseeching Cupid's aid in
A very similar figure is used in later
symbolic writings, supposed to represent
Zeuxis kneeling before
one of his own paint-
ings, and stood for ego-
tism and conceit.
We also have the same
form used so ^^ _?yrn-
of True Love, •^ origi-
of True I
A 7>f O -R / A
A MORiA is the most ancient and honor-
uL able country upon the earth's sur-
-^ J^ face and is without question the
most intensely populated. It is a green
and fertile country, and the principal
occupation of its people is hearticultural
husbandry. The form of government is
Home Rule, and to ^become a citizen,
although born in the country, it is required
that at least one complete journey be
made from end to end of the country's
principal highway. This at first seems
an odd requirement, but there is good
reasoning behind it. First, as this great
highway, known as the Path of True
Love, in its devious windings touches
practically every portion of the kingdom
— the trip is likely to open the traveller's
eyes and teach him much of the resources
and conditions of the country he wishes
to call his own. Second, as the road is
rough and in places sometimes seemingly
impassable, the trip will test the deter-
mination and stability of the most hearty.
Turn to the map and we find Amoria
bounded on three sides by Misanthropia,
the State of Indifference, and the Sea of
Oblivion, emptying into which the Quar-
rel River forever pours its flotsam and
jetsam. On the upper side you will see
it is bounded by the edge of the map; this
is because it is too cold in that direction to
sustain human life.
Let us now follow, upon the map, the
course of this historic road.
Far up in the corner of the map we find
Mount Curiosity — its snow-capped peaks
lost in the soft gray veil of mist that has
prevented the scientists from determining
its greatest heights. The ascent of the
mountain is usually made on the side
where it comes nearest to the State of In-
difference (see note T) ; here a well-worn
Note Y. It seems more than mere coincidence that the
Path of Least Resistance should run up Mount Curiosity
on the side nearest to the borders of the State of Indiffer-
A D Ml r' AT ION
3 -imi«' '
^ (^oun^rie of
SHOWING THE DEVIOUS WINDINGS OF THE PATH OF TRUE LOVE WITH THE MANY DAN
UNFORTUNATE BY-PATHS LIKELY TO MISLEAD THE WAYFARER TO A WRO
LARGE DEGREE OF UNHAPPIN'ESS ENCOUNTERED, BESIO
GERS AND OBSTACLES THAT BESET THE WAY. AND SHOWING. LIKEWISE. THE SEVERAL
NG TURNING. WHEREBY MUCH VALUABLE TIME MIGHT BE LOST AND A
ES A RETRACING OF MANY SAO AND FATIGUING STEPS
path, known as the Path of Least Resist-
ance, takes one by such a gradual and
agreeable route that little or no effort is
realized in the climb, and it is usually a
surprise when, just a little below the frost
line, one comes suddenly upon a little
plateau high, high, in the heavens. Here
the air is salubrious and the temperature
even. The view is so wonderful in the
early Dawn that the most phlegmatic will
become enthusiastic. This little plateau
is known as the Plateau Platonic and is
quite flat. In spite of its beauty and
charm few travellers are satisfied to rest
In leaving the plateau one must have a
care, for there are two paths quite similar
in appearance — one leading up the moun-
tain to nowhere and loneliness, and the
ence, and there is a very ancient tradition that the first
person to make the ascent came from that easy-going
We believe this tradition to be another version of the
Adam and Eve story, and feel that it conclusively proves
us right in our calculations as to the exact location of the
other the commencement of the Path of
True Love. The careful traveller need
not mistake the path, for beside the en-
trance, at about the height of a man's
heart and nailed to a great Oak, is a
crudely fashioned hand with finger point-
ing the way. This is called the Hand of
Fate. Alas, too few take the trouble to
look for this guide, and many take the
wrong path; while those who, by sheer
luck, take the right one are easily dis-
couraged because of the very uncertain
condition o^mind they soon find them-
selves in. These usually lose heart be-
fore going a great way, or in their careless
method of progress take some wrong turn-
ing and come to a swift and bad end.
But we will follow the progress of the
traveller who believes in signs.
Garden of Eden. We claim it was situated in that part
of the State of Indifference near to and in full view of Mount
Curiosity, and that Adam was the first man to make the
climb. We also believe that Adam became lost on the
mountainside and never returned to Eden, and that the
Path of True Love gives a pretty good idea of his subse-
It is hard to describe those first im-
pressions as one comes swinging down
the mountainside and sees winding far out
and across the verdant Valley of Dreams,
dotted here and there with its picturesque
castles, the Path of True Love like a silver
thread. It seems so bright and pure, and
off to the right there is such a happy pink
glow in the sky, that one usually finds
himself humming some old love song.
Lucky the traveller who puts a clover
in his buttonhole, while crossing the Val-
ley of Dreams, for all too soon the cold
winds that sweep across Lake Indiffer-
ence, and make the trip around it a peril-
ous and discouraging one, will be chilling
his marrow. He will need both courage
and luck when, rounding the upper end of
the lake, he comes upon the rough and
rocky stretch of road running along the
quent wanderings, of which so little heretofore has been
At any rate, vast numbers from the State of Indifference
make the ascent of Mount Curiosity every year, and many
of our best citizens have come from that state.
edge of a fearful precipice which over-
hangs the lake, and is known as the Height
of Indifference; here one false step and
all is lost. Past this danger the road
turns from the lake, but the traveller has
hardly time to congratulate himself upon
the warmer conditions when he is con-
fronted by a most disconcerting range of
mountains known as the Mountains of
Opposition. If you do not cross the
mountains the mountains will double cross
you, so push on and with tact and deter-
mination they will be overcome.
The mountains passed, a smooth bit of
road is reached and brighter weather, that,
after the lowering clouds, the storms and
many obstacles met with in the mountains,
will Hkely mislead the traveller into
thinking his troubles over. Light-hearted
he will push forward hurriedly, taking
little heed of the fast increasing cold.
Fortunately, just at the edge of the map
and just upon the longitude of Respect,
the road takes a sudden sharp turn, but
it is almost from bad to worse, for it
plunges the traveller into the Forest of
Misunderstanding, a dark and dismal
place that will fill the strongest with mis-
givings. The only way is to stick close to
the road. This is sometimes hard in the
darkness as there are many by-paths.
Travellers once off the correct road have
been known to wander for years without
once seeing the sunlight. About half way
through the forest there is a road turning
to the right; it seems the easier way, dip-
ping down, as it does, into a little valley
and across a turbulent little stream, be-
yond which it disappears from sight in the
tangle of brilliant foliage covering Mount
Folly. Unhappy he who takes this turn,
for there is many a slippery stone in the
bed of this stream and the crossing is not a
happy one. If one would turn back at the
first slip, but human nature is stubborn
and few do; besides there seems little
choice between the dismal forest behind
and the lure of Mt. Folly ahead. Folly
lasts but a day, however, and the foliage
soon loses its attractive coloring. The
foolish wayfarer tnen pushing on finds
himself again confronted by the turbulent
stream, but easier to cross this time. A
little way further the path ends at what
appears to be a refreshing spring; it is
the Spring of Untruth, and he who lies
to drink of its waters will ever be a slave
of the drug.
Again as one is nearing the edges of the
Black Forest is another road leading off
to the left and to the Spring of Mistrust.
Turn not aside nor drink of this spring;
its waters are bitter and this turning but
takes one back into the depths of the dis-
Emerging from the Black Forest of
Misunderstanding the road winds across
a fertile and easy-going prairie land, twice
crossing the acid waters of Bicker Brook
(see note 23), and crossing the Quarrel
Note 23. At this point, after the more or less extended
journey through the unhealthy Forest of Misunderstanding,
the traveller must have a care, especially if he be of a sensi-
tive nature, for the shock of the first plunge through Bicker
Brook will often throw one into a distemper or fever.
River takes its course along the foot of
what, by many, is considered the most
beautiful mountain in Amoria, Mount
Unselfishness. The going is easy here,
and when one comes to a little road
branching off and running right up the
mountain side he is apt to feel very little
inclination to take it. Nearly every trav-
eller knows by hearsay that this is a
short-cut one should take, but standing
at the foot of the mountain, with a broad
smooth road on one hand and this little
used difficult mountain path (it is hardly
more than a blazed trail) on the other,
it is much to the traveller's credit who
attempts it at all. Quite a few do, how-
ever, begin the ascent, but almost with-
out exception have not the strength to
continue and turn back to the main high-
way, only to be shortly plunged again
and again in the cold and caustic waters
Some, going absolutely out of their heads, wander far afield.
Herein lies a grave danger because of the nearness of the
road at this point to the boundaries of Misanthropia, which
state is little more than a barren waste. The peculiar
of the Quarrel River as the road crosses
and recrosses it. There are no bridges
here, and many a poor traveller becoming
exhausted in the mad battle with the cur-
rent hopelessly loses all self-control and
is carried away to be lost in the Sea of
Oblivion. At the river's mouth is Lost
Hope Island; this is really nothing more
than a bar, and superstition has it that
there, on stormy nights when the tide is
coming in, congregate those poor lost
souls, and it is claimed, on good authority,
that the discords of their mournful songs
can be heard even as far as to the edges of
the Desert of Absence.
After these several crossings of the
Quarrel River the road again becomes
easy and travel should be a pleasure, but
the traveller is weary from the recent
struggle with the river, and is almost
thankful for the flat stretch of road where
mental attitude of its inhabitants gives strength to the
theory advanced in Amoria that its population is made up
of those poor fever-ridden souls who have wandered from
the Path of True Love and gone quite mad.
it first crosses the Desert of Absence. It
were often better if this bit of road were
longer, for before the traveller entirely re-
gains his former vim he is deep in the
unhealthy mists and quicksands of the
Slough of Despond, and it is in a very
weakened condition that he commences
the second crossing of the Desert of Ab-
sence. In this condition is it strange that
one loiter in the Oasis of Flirtation — the
one bright spot in an otherwise dull
desert ? But an oasis and a flirtation have
their limits, and when one's thirst is sat-
isfied one wants to move on. And well
this is for the traveller on the Path of True
Love, for only a little and the desert is
passed, and the road leads for many happy
miles through the sweetest and most
beautiful meadow land where the warm
sunlight, the songs of the birds, and the
sweet odor of new-mown hay repay one
for all the hardships of the past, and so
stimulate the traveller that he strikes out
upon the third crossing of the Desert of
Absence with a light step and a song in his
heart, and though the trip is longer it
seems far shorter than either of the pre-
vious crossings. So happy indeed has he
been and, with the soft airs of the desert
making his heart grow fonder, the way
seems so easy that the sudden obstruction
of two of the lesser spurs of the Moun-
tains of Opposition fill him with misgiv-
ing, and the valley between them is well
named Blue Valley. (See note 13.)
In such a condition of mind the traveller
plunges down the mountain side and is
soon deep in a great gloomy forest, not
likely to raise his spirits, but rather cal-
culated to depress them still more.
Imagine then the elation when bursting
at length from the depression of the Forest
of Gloom the traveller sees before him
Note 13. The higher one climbs the duller the thud.
So with the traveller who has been dreaming across sweet
meadow land and balmy wastes when suddenly confronted
by a renewal of obstacles which his optimism had made
him believe passed forever, and it is in a nervous and un-
certain state of mind we find him groping his way through
the mists that always fill Blue Valley. Here is a great
that transcendently beautiful mountain,
Mount Hope. Well may he hold his
breath and gaze in rapture, for before him
rises the most beautiful mountain in all
the world and will ever be as long as life
lasts. With its velvety slopes and shaded
dells, its little silver rills tinkling down the
mountain side, sounding like fairy laugh-
ter through the trees, the gently stirring
air freighted with the perfume of myriads
of fragrant blossoms, and over all a tender
rose-colored glow reflected from the soft
pinky clouds that forever tenderly rest
upon the mountain's top, it is indeed the
most beautiful of nature's jewels. So it
seems, with Hope so long deferred, to that
tired-eyed struggler upon Love's High-
way, often heartsick and oppressed by the
vicissitudes of the way, for here he may
danger, for with the steep mountains on three sides the
traveller, if he once stumble from the road, is apt to follow
the depression of the valley until morbid and benumbed
he wander into the State of Indifference.
The same danger, in a lesser degree, is lurking in the For-
est of Gloom.
rest and, gazing again out over the dear
Valley of Dreams, rejuvenate the Yearn-
ing, the Ambition, and the Determination
that have brought him through so much.
To these he may now add Hope, and so
equipped and refreshed he dashes a second
time through the Forest of Gloom, and
though confronted by the most stubborn
and rocky section (known as the Parent
Peak) in the entire range of the Mountains
of Opposition, his past experience and his
added strength carry him over with little
effort, and, coming down the last steep
slope, his heart gives a bound as his eye
follows the smooth roadway stretching
invitingly across a nearly level expanse of
well-cultivated country thickly dotted with
the happy homes of those who had once
been travellers like himself. If he be not
short-sighted, he is able to see even as far
ahead as to where the road and his lonely
journey end in heavenly Mount Heart's
Desire. As he passes along many a
cheerful face smiles out at him from the
doorways, and many a cheerful word of
welcome and greeting encourages him to
hasten. The smiles of the rosy-cheeked
children seem especially sweet to him.
The journey's end! The goal is
reached! Naught remains further for
the traveller now except the Oath of Al-
legiance which is performed with consider-
able ceremony in the little church just
around the corner to the left.
Note: — Mount Heart's Desire is of an attractive shape
and thickly surrounded by orange blossoms. No two
travellers agree as to its height, but we are of the opinion
that it must be about five feet, three or four inches. Within
it is a little shrine called Trust, which it is the duty of every
worshipper to protect
The Appendix has been removed.