IADY.
ILBERT'S EIGHT C
An BUMF!
j vi 1511101 ou
UNtll'IKO
UDDIGORE ;
77/
W. S. GILBERT.
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H
O
O
.NOW READY.
An Mrelf Original * snperaatlraj
IN TWO ACTS,
KNUTLED
RUDDIGORE ;
OB,
H THE WITCH'S CURSE.
OS
o
Q
CO
WRITTEN BY
W. S. GILBERT.
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ARTHUR SULLIVAN.
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PATIENCE ;
OR,
BUNTHORNE'S BRIDE.
&n (Ssirtirtls Ittfo sift Original &ts%tit
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Silver'd is the Raven Hair ... ............ 4
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When I first put this Uniform on ...... ... ~. 4
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>n (Knfelg Original Supernatural %era,
IN TWO ACTS,
ENTITLED
RUDDIGORE;
OR,
THE WITCH'S CURSE!
WRITTEN BY COMPOSED BY
W. S. GILBERT, ARTHUR SULLIVAN,
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" Trial by Jury" : "The Sorcerer" : "H.M.S. Pinafore; or, The Lass
that Loved a Sailor" : " TJie Pirates of Penzance; or, The Slave of Duty "
"Patience; or, Bunthorne's Bride" : " lolanthe ; or, The Peer and
the Peri " : " Princess Ida ; or. Castle Adamant," and
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First Produced at the Savoy Theatre, London, by Mr. R. D'Oyly Carte, on
Saturday, 22nd January, 1887.
Dramatis Persona**
MORTALS.
ROBIN OAKAPPLE (A Young Farmer)
RICHARD DAUNTLESS (His Foster-Brother
A Man-o'-war's-mari)
SIB DESPABD MUBGATBOYD (Of Ruddigore
A Wicked Baronet)
OLD ADAM GOODHEABT (Robin's Faithful Ser-
vant)
ROSE MAYBUD (A Village Maiden)
MAD MABGABET
DAME HANNAH (Rose's Aunt)
> (Professional Bridesmaids)
GHOSTS.
MB. GEOBGE GBOSSMITH.
> MB. DUBWABD LELY.
MB. RUTLAND BABBINGTON.
[ MB. RUDOLPH LEWIS.
Miss LEONOBA BBAHAM.
Miss JESSIE BOND.
Miss ROSINA BBANDBAM.
Miss JOSEPHINE FINDLAY.
Miss LINDSAY.
SiB RUPEBT MUBGATBOYD (The First Baronet) . .
SIB JASPEB MUBGATBOYD (The Third Baronet) . .
SIB LIONEL MUBGATBOYD (The Sixth Baronet) . .
Sra CONBAD MUBGATBOYD (The Twelfth Baronet)
SIB DESMOND MUBGATBOYD (The Sixteenth Baronet)
SIB GILBEBT MUBGATBOYD (The Eighteenth Baronet)
SIB MEBVYN MUBGATBOYD (The Twentieth Baronet)
AND
SIB RODEBIC MUBGATBOYD (The Twenty-first Baronet)
MB. PBICE.
MB. CHABLES.
MB. TBEVOB.
MB. EUBBANK.
MB. TUEB.
MB. WlLBBAHAM.
MB. Cox.
MB. RICHABD TEMPLE.
Chorus of Officers, Ancestors, and Professional Bridesmaids.
ACT I. The Fishing Village of Rederring, in Cornwall.
ACT II. Picture Gallery in Ruddigore Castle.
The Scenery by Mr. HA WES CBAVEN (by permission of Mr. H. IBVING).
The Family Portraits by Mr. BALLABD. The Military Uniforms by Messrs.
CATEB & Co., of Pall Mall, from designs supplied by the Fine Art Military
Gallery, 61, Pall Mall. The Ancestors by Mdme. AUGUSTE, from designs
iy WILHELM. The ladies' dresses by Mdme. AUGUSTE. The Wigs by
CLABKSON. The incidental dances arranged by Mr. JOHN D'AUBAN. The
Management desires to acknowledge the assistance afforded by Mesdames
SYKES, JOSEPHINE, & Co.
TIME. Early in the Present Century.
RUDDIGORE;
OB,
THE WITCH'S CURSE.
ACT. I.
SCENE. The fishing village of Eederring (in Cornwall). ROSE
MAYBTTD'S cottage is seen L.
Enter Chorus of Bridesmaids. They range themselves in front of Rosa's
cottage.
CHORUS OF BRIDESMAIDS.
Fair is Rose as the bright May-day ;
Soft is Rose as the warm west- wind ;
Sweet is Rose as the new-mown hay
Rose is the queen of maiden-kind !
Rose, all glowing
. With virgin blushes, say
Is anybody going
To marry you to-day ?
SOLO. ZORAH.
Every day, as the days roll on,
Bridesmaids' garb we gaily don,
Sure that a maid so fairly famed
Won't very long remain unclaimed.
Hour by hour and day by day
Several months have passed away,
And though she's the fairest flower tkat blows,
Nobody yet has married Rose !
CHORUS.
Rose, all glowing
With virgin blushes, say
Is anybody going
To marry you to-day ?
Enter OLD HANNAH, from cottage.
HANNAH. Nay, gentle maidens, you sing well but vainly, for Rose
is still heart-free, and looks but coldly upon her many suitors.
ZORAH. It's very disappointing. Every young man in the village
is in love with her, but they are appalled by her beauty and modesty,
and won't declare themselves ; so, until she makes her own choice,
there's no chance for anybody else.
RTJTH. This is, perhaps, the only village in the world that possesses
an endowed corps of professional bridesmaids who are bound to be on
duty every day from ten to four and it is at least six months since
our services were required. The pious charity by which we exist is
practically wasted !
ZOR. "We shall be disendowed that will be the end of it ! Dame
Hannah you're a nice old person you could marry if you liked.
There's old Adam Robin's faithful servant he loves you with all the
frenzy of a boy of fourteen.
HAN. Nay that may never be, for I am pledged !
ALL. To whom ?
HAN. To an eternal maidenhood ! Many years ago I was betrothed
to a god-like youth who woo'd me under an assumed name. But on
the very day upon which our wedding was to have been celebrated, I
discovered that he was no other than Sir Roderic Murgatroyd, one of
the bad Baronets of Ruddigore, and the uncle of the man who now
bears that title. As a son of that accursed race he was no husband
for an honest girl, so, madly as I loved him, I left him then and
there. He died but ten years since, but I never saw him again.
ZOR. But why should yeu not marry a bad Baronet of Ruddigore?
RUTH. All baronets are bad ; but was he worse than other baronets?
HAN. My child, he was accursed
ZOR. But who cursed him ? Not you, I trust !
HAN. The curse is on all his line and has been, ever since the
time of Sir Rupert, the first Baronet. Listen, and you shall hear the
legend.
LEGEND. HANNAH.
Sir Rupert Murgatroyd
His leisure and his riches
He ruthlessly employed
In persecuting witches.
With fear he'd make them quako
He'd duck them in his lake
He'd break their bones
With sticks and stones,
And burn them at the stake 1
CUOBUS. This sport he much enjoyed,
Did Rupert Murgatroyd
No sense of shame
Or pity came
To Rupert Murgatroyd !
Once, on the village green,
A palsied hag he roasted,
And what took place, I ween,
Shook his composure boasted,
For, as the torture grim
Seized on each withered limb,
The writhing dame
'Mid fire and flame
Yelled forth this curse on him :
*' Each lord of Ruddigore,
Despite his best endeavour,
Shall do one crime, or more,
Once, every day, for ever !
This doom he can't defy
However he may try,
For should he stay
His hand, that day
In torture he shall die ! "
The prophecy came true :
Each heir who held the title
Had, every day, to do
Some crime of import vital ;
Until, with guilt o'erplied,
" I'll sin no more ! " he cried,
And on the day
He said that say,
In agony he died !
CHORUS. And thus, with sinning cloyed,
Has died each Murgatroyd,
And so shall fall,
Both one and all,
Each coming Murgatroyd !
[Exeunt Chorus of Bridesmaids.
Enter ROSE MATBTTD from cottage, with small basket on her arm.
HAN. Whither away, dear Rose ? On some errand of charity, as
is thy wont ?
ROSE. A few gifts, dear Aunt, for deserving villagers. Lo, here is
some peppermint rock for old gaffer Qadderby, a set of false teeth for
6
pretty little Ruth Rowbottom, and a pound of snuff for the poor orphan
girl on the hill.
HAN. Ah, Rose, pity that so much goodness should not help to
make some gallant youth happy for life ! Rose, why dost thou harden
that little heart of thine ? Is there none hereaway whom thou could'st
love?
ROSE. And if there were such an one, verily it would ill become
me to tell him so.
HAN. Nay, dear one, where true love is, there is little need of prim
formality.
ROSE. Hush, dear aunt, for thy words pain me sorely. Hung in a
plated dish-cover to the knocker of the workhouse door, with nought
that I could call mine own, save a change of baby-linen and a book of
etiquette, little wonder if I have always regarded that work as a voice
from a parent's tomb. This hallowed volume (producing a book of
etiquette), composed, if I may believe the title-page, by no less an
authority than the wife of a Lord Mayor, has been, through life, my
guide and monitor. By its solemn precepts I have learnt to test the
moral worth of all who approach me. The man who bites his bread,
or eats peas with a knife, I look upon as a lost creature, and he who
has not acquired the proper way of entering and leaving a room is
the object of my pitying horror. There are those in this village who
bite their nails, dear aunt, and nearly all are wont to use their pocket
combs in public places. In truth I could pursue this painful theme
much further, but behold, I have said enough.
HAN. But is there not one among them who is faultless, in thine
eyes ? For example young Robin. He combines the manners of a
Marquis with the morals of a Methodist. Could'st thou not love him ?
ROSE. And even if I could, how should I confess it unto him ? For
lo, he is shy, and sayeth nought !
BALLAD. ROSE.
If somebody there chanced to be
Who loved me in a manner true,
My heart would point him out to me,
And I would point him out to you.
(Referring to look.) But here it says of those who point,
Their manners must be out of joint -
You may not point
You must not point
It's manners out of joint, to point !
Had I the love of such as he,
Some quiet spot he'd take me to,
Then he could whisper it to me,
And I could whisper it to you
(Referring to book.) But whispering, I've somewhere met,
Is contrary to etiquette :
Where can it be ? (Searching book.)
Now let me see (Finding reference.)
Yes, Yes !
It's contrary to etiquette !
(Showing it to HANNAH.)
If any well-bred youth I knew,
Polite and gentle, neat and trim,
Then I would hint as much to you,
And you could hint as much to him.
(Referring to book.) But here it says, in plainest print,
" Its most unladylike to hint"
You may not hint,
You must not hint
It says you mustn't hint, in print !
And if I loved him through and through^
(True love and not a passing whim),
Then I could speak of it to you,
And you could speak of it to him.
But here I find it doesn't do
To speak until you're spoken to.
(Reftrring to book.) Where can it be ? (Searching book.)
Now let me see (Finding reference.)
" Don't speak until you're spoken to " !
\Exii HANNAH.
ROSE. Poor Aunt ! Little did the good soul think, when she
breathed the hallowed name of Robin, that he would do even as well
as another. But he resembleth all the youths in this village, in that
he is unduly bashful in my presence, and lo, it is hard to bring him to
the point. But soft, he is here !
(Rose is about to go when ROBIN enters and calls her.)
ROBIN. Mistress Rose !
ROSE. (Surprised.) Master Robin !
ROB. I wished to say that it is fine.
ROSE. It is passing fine.
ROB. But we do want rain.
ROSE. Aye, sorely ! Is that all ?
ROB. (Sighing.) That is all.
ROSE. Good day, Master Robin !
ROB. Good day, Mistress Rose ! (Both going both stop.)
ROSE. I I crave pardon, I
ROB. J I beg pardon, I
ROSE. You were about to say ?
ROB. I would fain consult you
8
ROSE. Truly ?
HOB. It is about a friend.
ROSE. In truth I have a friend myself.
HOB. Indeed ? I mean, of course
HOSE. And I would fain consult you
ROB. (Anxiously.) About him?
ROSE. (Prudishly.) About Tier.
ROB. (Relieved.) Let us consult one another
DUET. ROBIN and ROSE.
ROB. 1 know a youth who loves a little maid
(Hey, but his face is a sight for to see !)
Silent is he, for he's modest and afraid
(Hey, but he's timid as a youth can be !)
ROSE. I know a maid who loves a gallant youth,
(Hey, but she sickens as the days go by !)
She cannot tell him all the sad, sad truth
(Hey, but I think that little maid will die !)
ROB Poor little man !
ROSE Poor little maid !
ROR Poor little man 1
ROSE. Poor little maid !
JioTH. Now tell me pray, and tell me true,
What in the world should the j y g man ) do?
} maiden j
ROB. He cannot eat and he cannot sleep
(Hey, but his face is a sight for to see !)
Daily he goes for to wail for to weep
(Hey, but he's wretched as a youth can be !)
ROSE. She's very thin and she's very pale
(Hey, but she sickens as the days go by !)
Daily she goes for to weep for to wail
(Hey, but I think that little maid will die !)
ROB. Poor little maid !
ROSE Poor little man !
ROB. Poor little maid !
ROSE. Poor little man !
BOTH. Now tell me pray, and tell me true,
What in the world should the j 2f n man f
ROSE. If I were the youth I should offer her my name
(Hey, but her face is a sight for to see !)
9
ROB. If I were the maid I should feed his honest flame
(Hey, but he's bashful as a youth can be !)
ROSE. If I were the youth I should speak to her to-day
(Hey, but she sickens as the days go by !)
ROB. If I were the maid I should meet the lad half way
(For I really do believe that timid youth will die !)
ROSE. Poor little man !
ROB. Poor little maid !
ROSE. Poor little man 1
ROB. Poor little maid !
iTTllSS I
' \ for your counsel true ;
sir, i
111 tell that { J J f what j h e } ought to do !
[Exit ROSE.
ROB. Poor child ! I sometimes think that if she wasnt quite so
particular I might venture but no, no even then I should be-
unworthy of her !
(He sits desponding. Enter OLD ADAM.)
ADAM. My kind master is sad ! Dear Sir Ruthven Murgatroyd
ROB. Hush ! As you love "me, breathe not that hated name.
Twenty years ago, in horror at the prospect of inheriting that hideous
title and with it, the ban that compels all who succeed to the baronetcy
to commit at least one deadly crime per day, for life, I fled my home,
and concealed myself in this innocent village under the name of Robin
Oakapple. My younger brother, Despard, believing me to be dead,
succeeded to the title and its attendant curse. For twenty years I
have been dead and buried. Don't dig me up now.
ADAM. Dear master, it shall be as you wish, for have I not sworn to
obey you for ever in all things ? Yet, as we are here alone, and as I
belong to that particular description of good old man to whom the
truth is a refreshing novelty, let me call you by your own right title
once more J (ROBIN assents.) Sir Ruthven Murgatroyd ! Baronet !
Of Ruddigore ! Whew ! It's like eight hours at the sea-side !
ROB. My poor old friend ! Would there were more like you !
ADAM. Would there were indeed ! But I bring you good tidings.
Your foster-brother, Richard, has returned from sea his ship the Tom-
Tit rides yonder at anchor, and he himself is even now in this very
village !
ROB. My beloved foster-brother ? No, no it cannot be !
ADAM. It is even so and see, he comes this way !
Enter Chorus of Bridesmaids.
10
CHORUS.
;: ,"( :;;... : .
From the briny sea
( : Comes young Richard, all victorious !
Valorous is he
His achievements all are glorious !
Let the welkin ring
With the news we bring
Sing it shout it
Tell about it-
Safe and sound returneth he,
All victorious from the sea !
Enter RICHARD. The girls welcome him as he greets old acquaintances.
BALLAD. RICHARD.
I shipped, d'ye see, in a Revenue sloop,
And, off Cape Finistere,
A merchantman we see,
A Frenchman, going free,
So we made for the bold Mounseer,
D'ye see ?
We made for the bold Mounseer.
But she proved to be a Frigate and she up with her ports,
And fires with a thirty-two !
It come uncommon near,
But we answered with a cheer,
Which paralysed the Parly-voo,
D'ye see ?
Which paralysed the Parly-voo !
Then our Captain he up and he says, says he,
" That chap we need not fear,
We can take her, if we like,
She is sartin for to strike,
For she's only a darned Mounseer,
D'ye see ? '
She's only a darned Mounseer !
But to fight a French fal-lal it's like hittin' of a gal
Its a lubberly thing for to do ;
For we, with all our faults,
Why we're sturdy British salts,
While she's only a Parley- voo,
D'ye see ?
A miserable Parley- voo ! "
11
So we up with our helm, and we scuds before the breeze
As we gives a compassionating cheer ;
Froggee answers with a shout
As he sees us go about,
Which was grateful of the poor Mounseer,
D'ye see ?
Which was grateful of the poor Mounseer !
And I'll wager in their joy they kissed each other's cheek
(Which is what them furriners do),
And they blessed their lucky stars
We were hardy British tars
Who had pity on a poor Parley-voo,
D'ye see?
Who had pity on a poor Parley-voo !
ROB. Richard !
RICH. Robin !
ROB. My beloved foster-brother, and very dearest friend, welcome
home again after ten long years at sea ! It is such deeds as you have-
just described that cause our flag to be loved and dreaded throughout
the civilized world !
RICH. Why, lord love ye, Rob., that's but a trifle to what we have
done in the way of sparing life ! I believe I may say, without exag-
geration, that the marciful little Tom-Tit has spared more French
frigates than any craft afloat ! But 'taint for a British seaman to brag,
so I'll just stow my jawin' tackle and belay. (ROBOT sighs.) But 'vast
heavin', messmate, what's' brought you all a-cockbill ?
ROB. Alas, Dick, I love Rose Maybud, and love in vain !
RICH. You love in vain ? Come, that's too good ! Why you're a
fine strapping muscular young fellow tall and strong as a to'-gall'n-
m'st taut as a fore-stay aye, and a barrowknight to boot, if all had
their rights 1
ROB. Hush, Richard not a word about my true rank, which none
here suspect. Yes, I know well enough that few men are better calcu-
lated to win a woman's heart than I. I'm a fine fellow, Dick, and
worthy any woman's love happy the girl who gets me, say I. Bui
I'm timid, Dick ; shy nervous modest retiring diffident and I
cannot tell her, Dick, I cannot tell her ! Ah, you've no idea what
poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.
RICH. Robin, do you call to mind how, years ago, we swore that,
come what might, we would always act upon our hearts' dictates ?
ROB. Aye, Dick, and I've always kept that oath. In doubt,
difficulty and danger, I've always asked my heart; what I should do,
and it has never failed me.
RICH. Right ! Let your heart be your compass, with a clear QQH-
science for your binnacle light, and you'll sail ten knots on a bo w ij ne
clear of shoals, rocks and quicksands 1 Well now, what does my near t
12
say in this here difficult situation ? Why it says " Dick," it says (it
calls me " Dick" acos its known me from a babby) " Dick," it says,
" you ain't shy you ain't modest speak you up for him as is ! "
Robin, my lad, just you lay me alongside, and when she's becalmed
under my lee, I'll spin her a yarn that shall sarve to fish you two
together for life !
ROB. Will you do this thing for me? Can you, do you think?
Yes (feeling Jiis pulse). There's no false modesty about you. Yeur
what I would call bumptious self-assertiveness (I mean tke expression
in its complimentary sense), has already made you a bos'n's mate, and
it will make an admiral of you in time, if you work it properly, you
dear, incompetent old imposter ! My dear fellow, I'd give my right
arm for one tenth of your modest assurance !
SONG. ROBIN.
My boy, you may take it from me,
That of all the afflictions accurst
With which a man's saddled
And hampered and addled,
A diffident nature's the worst.
Though clever as clever can be
A Crichton of early romance
You must stir it and stump it,
And blow your own trumpet,
Or, trust me, you haven't a chance,
If you wish in the world to advance,
Your merits you're bound to enhance,
You must stir it and stump it,
And blow your own trumpet,
Or, trust me, you haven't a chance !
Now take, for example, my case :
I've a bright intellectual brain
In all London city
There's no one so witty
I've thought so again and again.
I've a highly intelligent face
My features cannot be denied
But, whatever I try, sir,
I fail in and why, sir ?
I'm modesty personified !
If you wish in the world to advance, &o.
As a poet, I'm tender and quaint
I've passion and fervour and grace
From Ovid and Horace
To Swinburne and Morris,
They all of them take a back place.
13
Then I sing and I play and I paint :
Though none are accomplished as I,
To say so were treason :
You ask me the reason ?
I'm. diffident, modest and shy !
If you wish in the world to advance, &c.
[Exit ROBIN.
RICH, (looteng after him). Ah, it's a thousand pities he's such a
poor opinion of himself, for a finer fellow don't walk ! Well, I'll do
my best for him. " Plead for him as though it was for your own
father " that's what my heart's a remarkin' to me just now. But
here she comes ! Steady ! Steady it is ! (Enter ROSE Tie is much
struck by her). By the Port Admiral but she's a tight little craft !
Come, come, she's not for you, Dick, and yet she's fit to marry Lord
Nelson ! By the Flag of Old England, I can't look at her unmoved.
ROSE. Sir, you are agitated
RICH. Aye, aye, my lass, well said ! I am agitated, true enough!
took flat aback my girl, but 'tis naught 'twill pass. (Aside). This
here heart of mine's a dictatin' to me like anythink. Question is,
have I a right to disregard its promptings ?
ROSE. Can I do ought to relieve thine anguish, for it seemeth to
me that thou art in sore trouble ? This apple (offering a, damaged
apple).
RICH, (looking at it and returning it). No, my lass, 'taint that :
I'm I'm took flat aback I never see anything like you in all my
born days. Parbuckle me, if you ain't the loveliest gal I've ever set
eyes on. There I can't say fairer than that, can I ?
ROSE. No. (Aside). The question is, is it meet that an utter
stranger should thus express himself? (Refers to book). Yes,
" Always speak the truth."
RICH. I'd no thoughts of sayin' this here to you on my own account,
for, truth to tell, I was chartered by another ; but when I see you my
heart it up and it says, says it, " This is the very lass for you Dick "
" speak up to her, Dick," it says (it calls me Dick acos we wag at school
together) "tell her all, Dick," it says, "never sail under false colours
it's mean ! " That's what my heart tells me to say, and in my rough,
common-sailor fashion, I've said it, and I'm a-wait ing for your reply.
I'm a tremblin' mis*. Lookye here (holding out his hand). That's
narvotumess !
ROSE (aside). Now, how should a maiden deal with such an one ?
(Consults look.) " Keep no one in unnecessary suspense." (Aloud.) Be-
hold, I will not keep you in unnecessary suspense. (Refers to book.}
"In accepting an offer of marriage, do so with apparent hesitation.
(Aloud.) I take you, but with a ertain show of reluctance. (Refers to
book) " Avoid any appearance of eagerness." (Aloud.) Though you will
bear in mind that I am far from anxious to do so. (Refers to book.) " A
little show of emotion will not be misplaced ! " (Aloud.) Pardon this
tear.! (Wipes her eyt.)
14
RICH. Rose, you've made me the happiest blue-jacket in England !
I -wouldn't change places with the Admiral of the Fleet, no matter
who he's a huggin' of at this present moment ! But, axin' your par-
don, miss, (wiping Tiis lips with his hand), might I be permitted to
salute the flag I'm a-goin' to sail under ?
ROSE (referring to book.) " An engaged young lady should not permit
too many familiarities." (Aloud.) Once ! (Richard kisses her.)
DtJET. RICHARD and ROSE.
RICH. The battle's roar is over,
my love !
Embrace thy tender lover,
my love !
From tempests' welter,
From war's alarms,
give me shelter
Within those arms !
Thy smile alluring,
All heart-ache curing,
Gives peace enduring,
my love !
ROSE. If heart both true and tender,
my love !
A life-love can engender,
my love !
A trace to sighing
And tears of brine,
For joy undying
Shall aye be mine,
And thou and I, love,
Shall live and die, love,
"Without a sigh, love
My own, my love !
Enter ROBIN, with Chorus of Bridesmaids.
CHORUS.
If well his suit has sped,
Oh, may they soon be wed !
Oh, tell us, tell us, pray,
What doth the maiden say ?
In singing are we justified,
"Hail the Bridegroom hail the Bride"?
ROB. Well what news ? Have you spoken to her ?
RICH. Aye, my lad, I have so to speak spoke her.
ROB. And she refuses ?
RICH. Why, no, I can't <truly say she do.
Ro. Then she accepts ! My darling ! (Embraces her.)
15
BRIDESMAIDS.
Hail the Bridegroom hail the Bride 1
Let the nuptial knot be tied :
In fair phrases
Hymn their praises,
Hail the Bridegroom hail the Bride !
ROSE (aside, referring to her book). Now, what should a maiden
do when she is embraced by the wrong gentleman ?
RICH. Belay, my lad, belay. You don't understand.
ROSE. Oh, sir, belay, I beseech you !
RICH. You see, it's like this : she accepts but it's me !
ROB. You [RMNUBD embraces ROSE.
BRIDESMAIDS.
Hail the Bridegroom hail the Bride !
When the nuptial knot is tied
ROB. (interrupting angrily.) Hold your tongues, will you ! Now
then, what does this mean ?
RICH. My poor lad, my heart grieves for thee, but it's like this :
the moment I see her, and just as I was a-goin' to mention your name,
my heart it up and it says, says it " Dick, you've fell in love with her
yourself," it says ; " Be honest and sailor-like don't skulk under
false colours speak up," it says, " take her, you dog, and with her my
blessin'!"
BRIDESMAIDS. " Hail the Bridegroom hail the Bride ! "
ROB. Will you be quiet ! Go away ! (Chorus make faces at him
and exeunt.) Vulgar girls !
RICH. What could I do ? I'm bound to obey my heart's dictates
ROB. Of course no doubt. It's quite right I don't mind that
is, not particularly only it's it is disappointing, you know.
ROSE (to ROBIN). Oh, but, sir, I knew not that thou did'st seek me
in wedlock, or in very truth I should not have hearkened unto this man,
for behold, he is but a lowly mariner, and very poor withal, whereas
thou art a tiller of the land, and thou hast fat oxen, and many sheep
and swine, a considerable dairy farm and much corn and oil !
RICH. That's true, my lass, but its done now, aint it Rob ?
ROSE. Still it maybe that I should not be happy in thy love. I
am passing young and little able to judge. Moreover, as to thy charac-
ter I know naught !
ROB. Nay Rose, I'll answer for that. Dick has won thy love
fairly. Broken-hearted as I am, I'll stand up for Dick through thick
and thin !
DICK (with emotion). Thankye, messmate ! thaf s well said. Thaf
spoken honest. Thankye, Rob ! (Grasps his hand.)
ROSE. Yet methinks I have heard that sailors are but worldly men,
and little prone to lead serious and theughtful lives !
16
ROB. And what then ? Admit that Dick is no t a steady character,
and that when he's excited he uses language that would make your hair
curl. Grant that he does. Its the truth, and I'm not going to deny
it. But look at his good qualities. He's as nimble as a pony, and his
hornpipe is the talk of the fleet !
RICH. Thankye Roh ! That's well spoken. Thankye Rob !
ROSE. But it maybe that he drinketh strong waters which do
bemuse a man, and make him even as the wild beasts of the desert !
ROB. Well, suppose he does, and I don't say he don't, for rum's his
bane, and ever has been. He does drink I won't deny it. But
what of that ? Look at his arms tattooed to the shoulder ! (Dick
rolls up his sleeves.) No, no I won't hear a word against Dick !
ROSE. But they say that mariners are but rarely true to those
whom they profess to love !
ROB. Granted granted and I don't say that Dick isn't as bad as
any of 'em. (Dick chuckles.} You are, you know you are, you dog ! a
devil of a fellow a regular out-and-out Lothario ! But what then ?
You can't have everything, and a better hand at turning-in a dead-eye
don't walk a deck ! And what an accomplishment that is in a family
man ! No, no not a word against Dick. I'll stick up for him through
thick and thin !
RICH. Thankye, Rob, thankye. You're a true friend. I've acted
accordin' to my heart's dictates, and such orders as them no man
should disobey.
ENSEMBLE. RICHARD, ROBIN, ROSE.
In sailing o'er life's ocean wide
Your heart should be your only guide ;
With summer sea and favouring wind
Yourself in port you'll surely find.
SOLO. RICHABD.
My heart says, " To this maiden strike
She's captured you.
She's just the sort of girl you like
You know you do.
If other man her heart should gain,
I shall resign."
That's what it says to me quite plain,
This heart of mine.
SOLO. ROBIS.
My heart says, " YouVe a prosperous lot.
With acres wide ;
You mean to settle all you've got
Upon your bride.
17
It don't pretend to shape my acti
By word or sign ;
It merely states these simple facts,
This heart of mine !
SOLO. ROSE
Ten minutes since my heart said " white "
It now says " black."
It then said " left " it now says " right "
Hearts often tack.
I must obey its latest strain
You tell me so. (To RICHARD.)
But should it change its mind again,
I'll let you know.
(Turniny from RICHARD to ROBIN tvfio embraces Jier.)
ENSEMBLE.
In sailing o'er life's ocean wide
No doubt the heart should be your guide,
But it is awkward when you find
A heart that does not know its mind !
[Exeunt ROBIN with ROSE L. and RICHARD, weeping, R.
Enter MAD MAKGABO. She is ivildly dressed in picturesque tatters, and
is an obvious caricature of theatrical madness.
SCENA. MAKGARET.
Cheerily carols the lark
Over the cot.
Merrily whistles the clerk
Scratching a blot.
But the lark
And the clerk,
I remark,
Comfort me not !
Over the ripening peach
Buzzes the bee.
Splash on the billowy beach
Tumbles the sea.
But the peacli
And the beach
They are each
Nothing to me !
And why ?
Who am I?
Daft Madge ! Crazy Meg !
Mad Margaret ! Poor Peg !
He ! he ! he ! he ! he ! (chud-1i,, : ,)
18
Mad, I?
Yes, very !
But why ?
Mystery !
Don't call !
Whisht! whisht!
No crime
'Tis only
That I'm
Love lonely !
That's all !
Whisht! whisht:
BALLAD.
To a garden Ml of posies
Cometh one to gather flowers,
And he wanders through its bowers
Toying with the wanton roses,
Whe, uprising from their beds,
Hold on high their shameless heads
With their pretty lips a-pouting,
Never doubting never doubting
That for Cytherean posies
He would gather aught but roses !
In a nest of weeds and nettles,
Lay a violet, half-hidden,
Hoping that his glance unbidden
Yet might fall upon her petals,
Though she lived alone, apart,
Hope lay nestling at her heart,
But, alas, the cruel awaking
Set her little heart a-breaking,
For he gathered for his posies
Only roses only roses !
(Bursts into tears.)
Enter ROSE.
ROSE. A maiden, and in tears ? Can I do aught to soften thy sor-
row ? This apple (offering apple).
MAE. (Examines it and rejects it.) No ! (mysteriously). Tell me,
are you mad ?
ROSE. I ? No ! That is, I think not.
MAK. That's well ! Then you don't love Sir Despard Murgatroyd ?
All mad girls love him. J love him. I'm poor Mad Margaret Crazy
Meg Poor Peg ! He ! he ! he ! he ! (chuckling.')
ROSE. Thou lovest the bad Baronet of Ruddigore ? Oh, horrible
too horrible 1
19
MAR. You pity me? Then be my mother ! The squirrel had a
mother, but she drank and the squirrel fled ! Hush ! They sing a
brave song in our parts it runs somewhat thus : (Sings.)
"The cat and the dog and the little puppee
Sat down in a down in a in a"
I forget what they sat down in, but so the song goes ! Listen I've
come to pinch her !
ROSE. Mercy, whom !
MAR. You mean " who."
ROSE. Nay ! it is the accusative after the verb.
MAR. True. (Whispers melodramatically.) I have come to pinch
Rose Maybud !
ROSE. (Aside, alarmed.") Rose Maybud !
MAR. Aye ! I love him he loved me once. But that's all gone,
Fisht ! He gave me an Italian glance thus (business) and mnde
me his. He will give her an Italian glance, and make her his. But
it shall not be, for I'll stamp on her stamp on her stamp on her !
Did you ever kill anybody ? No ? Why not ? Listen I killed a fly
this morning ! It buzzed, and I wouldn't have it So it died pop !
So shall she !
ROSE. But behold, / am Rose Maybud, and I would fain not die
"pop."
MAR. You are Rose Maybud !
ROSE. Yes, sweet Rose Maybud !
MAR. Strange ! They told me she was beautiful ! And he loves
you ! No, no ! If I thought that, I would treat you as the auctioneer
and land-agent treated 'the lady-bird I would rend you asunder !
ROSE. Nay, be pacified, for behold I am pledged to another, and lo,
we are to be wedded this very day !
MAR. Swear me that ! Come to a Commissioner and let me have
it on affidavit ! I once made an affidavit but it died it died it
died ! But see, they come Sir Despard and his evil crew ! Hide,
hide they are all mad quite mad !
ROSE. What makes you think that ?
MAR. Hush ! They sing choruses in public. That's mad enough,
I think ! Go hide away, or they will seize you. Hush ! Quite
softly quite, quite softly ! [Exeunt together, on, tiptoe.
(En'-er CliorusoJ Bucks and Blades, heralded by Chorus of Bridesmaids.}
CHORUS OF BRIDESMAIDS.
Welcome, gentry
For your entry
Sets our tender hfcarts a-beating.
Men of station,
Admiration
Prompts this unaffected greeting.
Hearty greeting offer we !
20
Your exceeding
Easy breeding
Just the thing our hearts to pillage
Cheers us, charms us,
Quite disarms us :
Welcome, welcome, to our village ;
To our village welcome be !
CHORUS OF BUCKS AND BLADES.
When thoroughly tired
Of being admired
By ladies of gentle degree degree,
With flattery sated,
High-flown and inflated,
Away from the city we flee wo flee !
From charms intramural
To prettiness rural
The sudden transition
Is simply Elysian,
So come, Amaryllis,
Come, Chloe and Phyllis,
Your slaves, for the moment, are we !
ALL. From charms intramural, &c.
CH011US OF BRIDESMAIDS.
The sons of the tillage
Who dwell in this village
Arc people of lowly degree degree.
Though honest and active
They're most unattractive
And awkward as awkward can be can bo.
They're clumsy clodhoppers
With axes and choppers,
And shepherds and ploughmen.
And drovers and cowmen
And hedgers and reapers
And carters and keepers,
But. never a lover for me !
ALL. They're clumsy clodhoppers, &c.
ALT,. So welcome, gentry
Ar
Sets 5 ,? . I tender hearts a-beating, &c
Enter SIR DESPAKD MURGATROW>.
21
SONG and CHORUS. SIR DESPARD.
SIR T). Oh why am I moody and sad ?
OH. Can't guess !
SIR I). And why am I guiltily mad ?
CH. Confess !
SIR D. Because I am thoroughly bad !
CH. Oh yes-
Sir D. You'll see it at once in my face.
</h why am I husky and hoarse?
CH. Ab, why?
SIR D. It's the workings of conscience, of course.
CH. Fie, fie !
SIR D. And huskiness stands for remorse,
CH. Oh my !
SIR D. At least it does so in my case !
SIR D. When in crime one is fully employed
CH. Like you
SIR D. Your expression gets warped and destroyed :
CH. It do.
SIR D. It's a penalty none can avoid ;
CH. How true !
SIR D. I once was a nice-looking youth ;
But like stone from a strong catapult
CH. (explaining to each other). A trice
SIR D. I rushed at my terrible cult
Cn. (explaining to each other). Thaf s vice
SIR D. Observe the unpleasant result !
CH. Not nice.
SfR D. Indeed I am telling the truth !
SIR D. Oh innocent, happy though poor !
CH. That's we
SIR D. If I had been virtuous, I'm sure
CH. Like me
SIR D. I should be as nice-looking as you're !
CH. May be.
SIR D. You are very nice-looking indeed !
Oh innocents, listen in time
Cn. We doe,
SIR D. Avoid an existance of crime
CH. Just so
SIR D. Or you'll be as ugly as I'm
CH. (loudly). No! No!
SIR D. And now, if you please, we'll proceed.
(All the girls express their horror of Sir Despard. As he approaches
them they fly from him, terror-stricken, leaving him alone on the
stage.)
SIR D. Poor children, how they loathe me me whose hands are
certainly steeped in infamy, but whose heart is as the heart of a little
22
child ! But what is a poor baronet to do, when a whole picture-
gallery of ancestors step down from their frames and threaten him
with an excruciating death, if he hesitate to commit his daily crime ?
But ha ! ha ! I am even with them ! (Mysteriously). I get my
crime over the first thing in the morning and then, ha ! ha ! for
the rest of the day I do good I do good I do good ! (Melodramatic-
ally'). Two days since, I stole a child and built an orphan asylum.
Yesterday I robbed a bank and endowed a bishopric. To-day I
carry off Hose Maybud, and atone with a cathedral ! This is what
it is to be the sport and toy of a Picture Gallery ! But I will be
bitterly revenged upon them ! I will give them all to the Nation,
and nobody shall ever look upon their faces again !
Enter RICHARD.
RICH. Ax your honour's pardon, but
SIR D. Ha ! observed ! And by a mariner ! What would you with
me, fellow ?
RICH. Your honour, I'm a poor man-o'-war's man, becalmed in the
doldrums
SIR. D. I don't know them.
RICH. And I make bold to ax your honour's advice. Does your
honour know what it is to have a heart ?
SIR D. My honour knows what it is to have a complete apparatus
for conducting the circulation of the blood through the veins and
arteries of the human body.
RICH. Aye, but has your honour a heart that ups and looks you in
the face, and gives you quarter-deck orders that it's life and death to
disobey ?
SIR D. I have not a heart of that description, but I have a Picture
Gallery that presumes to take that liberty.
RICH. "Well, your honour, it's like this Your honour had an elder
brother
SIR D. It had.
RICH. Who should have inherited your title and with it, its cuss.
SIR D. Aye, but he died. Oh, Ruthven \
RICH. He didn't.
SIR D. He did not ?
RICH. He didn't. On the contrary, he lives in this here very
village, under the name of Robin Oakapple, and he's a-going to marry
Rose Maybud this very day.
SIR D. Ruthven alive, and going to marry Rose Maybud ! Can
this be possible ?
RICH. Now the question I was going to ask your honour is ought
I te tell your honour this ?
SIR D. I don't know. It's a delicate point. I think you ought.
Mind, I'm not sure, but I think so.
23
RICH. That's what my heart Bays. It says, " Dick," it says, (it
calls me Dick acos it's entitled to take that liberty). "Tha^ there young
gal -would recoil from him if she knowed what he really were. Ought
you to stand off and on, and let this young gal take this false step and
never fire a shot across her bows to bring her to ? No, it says, " you
did not ought." And I won't ought, accordin'.
SIR D. Then you really feel yourself at liberty to tell me that my
elder brother lives that I may charge him with his cruel deceit, and
transfer to his shoulders the hideous thraldom under which I have
laboured for so many years ! Free free at last ! Free to live a
blameless life, and to die beloved and regretted by all who knew me !
DUET. SIR DESPARD and RICHARD.
RICH. You understand ?
SIR DES. I think I do,
With vigour unshaken
This step shall be taken.
It's neatly planned.
RICH. I think so too ;
I'll readily bet it
You'll never regret it !
BOTH. For duty, duty must be done ;
The rule applies to every one,
And painful though that duty be,
To shirk the task were fiddle-de-deo I
SIR DES. The bridegroom comes -
RICH. Likewise the bride
The maidens are very
Elated and merry ;
They are her chums.
SIR DES, To lash their pride
Were almost a pity,
The pretty committee !
BOTH. But duty, duty must be done ;
The rule applies to every one,
And painful though that duty be,
To shirk the task were fiddle-de-dee f
[Exeunt RICHARD and SIR DESPARD.
Enter Chorus of Bridesmaids and Bucks.
CHORUS OF BRIDESMAIDS.
Hail the bride of seventeen summers :
In fair phrases
Hymn her praises ;
Lift your song on high, all comers.
She rejoices
In your voices.
24
Smiling summer beams upon her,
Shedding every blessing on her :
Maidens, greet her
Kindly treat her
You may all be brides some day !
CHORUS OF BUCKS.
Hail the bridegroom who advances,
Agitated,
Yet elated.
He's in easy circumstances,
Young and lusty,
True and trusty :
Happiness untold awaits them
When the parson consecrates them ;
People near them,
Loudly cheer them
You'll be bridegrooms some fine day !
Enter ROBIN, attended by RICHARD and OLD ADAM, meeting ROSE,
attended by ZORAH and DAME HANNAH. ROSE and ROBIN embrace.
MADRIGAL.
ROSE. Where the buds are blossoming,
Smiling welcome to the spring,
Levers choose a wedding day
Life is love in merry May !
GIRLS. Spring is green Pal lal la !
Summer's rose Fal lal la !
ALL. It is sad when summer goes,
Fal la !
MEX. Autumn's gold Fal lal la !
Winter's grey Fal lal la !
V IL. Winter still is far away
Fal la !
Leaves in autumn fade and fall
Winter is the end of all.
Spring and summer teem with glee :
Spring and summer, then, for me 1
Fal la !
HANNAH. In the spring-time seed is sown :
In the summer grass is mown :
In the autumn you may reap :
Winter is the time for sleep.
25
GIRLS. Spring is hope Fal lal la !
Summer's joy Fal lal la !
ALL. Spring and summer never cloy,
Fal la !
MEN. Autumn, toil Fal lal la !
Winter, rest Fal lal la !
ALL. "Winter, after all, is best
Fal la!
ALL. Spring and summer pleasure you,
Autumn, aye, and winter too
Every season has its cheer
Life is lovely all the year !
Fal la !
GAVOTTE.
After Gavotte, enter SIB DESPARD.
SIR I). Hold, bride and bridegroom, ere you wed each other,
I claim young Robin as my elder brother !
ROB. (Aside). Ah, lost one !
SIR 1). His rightful title I have long enjoyed :
I claim him as Sir Ruthven Murgatroyd !
ROSK. ( Wildly.} Deny the falsehood, Robin, as you should
It is a plot !
ROB. I would, if conscientiously I could,
But I cannot !
ALL. Ah, base one !
SOLO. ROBIN.
As pure and blameless peasant,
I cannot, I regret,
Deny a truth unpleasant,
I am that Baronet !
ALL. He is that Baronet !
But when completely rated
Bad baronet am I,
That I am what he's stated
I'll recklessly deny !
ILL. Hell recklessly deny !
ROB. When I'm a bad Bart. I will tell taradiddles !
ALL. Hell tell taradiddles when he's a bad Bart.
ROB. I'll play a bad part on the falsest of fiddles.
ALL. On very false fiddles he'll play a bad part !
26
ROB. But until that takes place I must be conscientious
ALL. He'll be conscientious until that takes place.
ROB. Then adieu with good grace to my morals sententious !
ALL. To morals sententious adieu with good grace !
ZOK. Who is the wretch who hath betrayed thee ?
Let him stand forth !
RICH, (coming forward.) 'Twas I !
ALL. Die, traitor !
Rica. Hold, my conscience made me!
"Withhold your wrath !
SOLO. RICHAKD.
Within this breast there beats a heart
Whose voice can't be gainsaid.
It bade me thy true rank impart,
And I at once obeyed.
I knew 'twould blight thy budding fate
I knew 'twould cause thee anguish great
But did I therefore hesitate ?
No ! I at once obeyed !
ALL. Acclaim him who, when his true heart
Bade him young Robin's rank impart,
Immediately obeyed !
SOLO. ROSE (addressing ROBIN),
Farewell !
Thou had'st my heart
'Twas quickly won !
But now we part
Thy face I shun !
Farewell !
Go bend the knee
At' Vice's shrine,
Of life with me
All hope resign.
Farewell !
SIB DESPABD.) Take me I am thy bride I
AT.T., Hurrah !
BRIDESMAIDS.
Hail the Bridegroom hail the Bride I
When the nuptial knot is tied ;
Every day will bring some joy
That can never, never cloy !
Enter MAKGAEET, who listens.
27
SIR D. Excuse me, I'm a virtuous person now
ROSE. That's why I wed you !
SIK D And I to Margaret must keep my vow !
MAR. Have I misread you ?
Oh joy ! with newly kindled rapture warmed,
I kneel before you ! (Kneelt.)
SIB I once disliked you ; now that I've reformed,
How I adore you ! (They embrace.)
BRIDESMAIDS.
Hail the Bridegroom hail the Bride 1
When the nuptial knot is tied ;
Every day will bring some joy
That can never, never cloy !
ROSE. Richard, of him I love bereft,
Through thy design,
Thou art the only one that/s left,
So I am thine! (They embrace.)
BRIDESMAIDS.
Hail the Bridegroom hail the Bride I
Let the nuptial knot be tied !
DUET. ROSE and RICHARD.
Oh, happy the lily
When kissed by the bee ;
And, sipping tranquilly,
Quite happy is he ;
And happy the filly
That neighs in her pride ;
But happier than any
A pound to a penny,
A lover is, when he
Embraces his bride i
DUET. SIR DESPABD and MARGARET
Oh, happy the flowers
That blossom in June,
And happy the bowers
That gain by the boon,
But happier by hours
The man of descent,
Who, folly regretting,
Is bent on forgetting
His bad baronetting,
And means to repent !
23
TRIO. HANK AH, ADAM, and ZOBAH.
Oh, happy the blossom
That blooms on the lea,
Likewise the opossom
That sits on a tree,
But when you come across 'em,
They cannot compare,
With those who are treading
The dance at a wedding,
"While people are spreading
The best of good fare !
SOLO. ROBIN.
Oh, wretched the debtor
Who's signing a deed !
And wretched the letter
That no one can read !
But very much better
Their lot it must be
Than that of the person
I'm making this verse on,
Whose head there's a curse on
Alluding to me !
Repeat ensemble with diorus.
DANCE.
At the end of the dance ROBIN falls senseless on the stage. Picture.
ACT DEOP.
ACT II.
SCENE. Picture Gallery in Ruddigore .Castle. The walls are covered
with full length portraits of the Baronets of Ruddigore from the time of
JAMES I. the first being that of SIR KUPEBT, alluded to in the legendf
the last, that of the last deceased Baronet, SIR RODERIC.
Enter ROBIN and ADAM melodramatically. They are greatly altered
in appearance, ROBIN wearing the haggard aspect of a guilty roue ;
ADAH, that of the iviclced steivard to such a man.
DUET. ROBIN and ADAM.
Ron. I once was as meek as a new-born lamb,
I'm now Sir Murgatroyd ha ! ha !
With greater precision,
(Without the elision)
Sir Ruthven Murgatroyd ha ! ha !
ADAM. And I, who was once his valley-de-sham,
As steward I'm now employed ha ! ha !
The dickens may take him
I'll never forsake him !
As steward I'm now employed ha ! ha !
BOTH. How dreadful when an innocent heart
Becomes, perforce, a bad young Bart.,
And still more hard on old Adam
His former faithful valley-de-sham !
ROB. This is a painful state of things, Old Adam !
ADAM. Painful, indeed ! Ah, my poor master, when I swore that
come what would, I would serve you in all things for ever, I little
thought to what a pass it would bring me ! The confidential adviser
to the greatest villain unhung ! Now, Sir, to business. What crime
do you propose to commit to-day ?
ROB. How should I know? As my confidential adviser, it's youi
duty to suggest something.
ADAM. Sir, I loathe the life you are leading, but a good old man'*
oath is paramount, and I obey. Richard Dauntless is here wibh pretty
Rose Maybud, to ask your consent to their marriage. Poison their
beer.
30
ROB. No not that I know I'm a bad Bart, but I'm not as bad a
Bart as all that.
ADAM. Well, there you are, you see ! It's no use my making
suggestions if you don't adopt them.
ROB. (melodramatically.) How would it be, do you think, were I
to lure him here with cunning wile bind him with good stout rope to
yonder post^and then, by making hideous faces at him, curdle the
heart-blood in his arteries, and freeze the very marrow in his bones ?
How say you, Adam, is not the scheme well planned ?
ADAM. It would be simply rude nothing more. But soft they
come !
ADAH and ROBIN retire up as RIOHAKD and ROSE enter, preceded by
Chorus of Bridesmaids.
DUET. RICHAKD AND ROSE.
RICH. Happily coupled are we,
You see
I am a jolly Jack Tar,
My star,
And you are the fairest,
The richest and rarest
Of innocent lasses you are,
By far
Of innocent lasses you are !
Fanned by a favouring gale,
You'll sail
Over life's treacherous sea
\\ith me,
And as for bad weather
We'll brave it together,
And you shall creep under my lee,
My wee !
And you shall creep under my lee !
For you are such a smart little craft
Such a neat little, sweet little craft.
Such a bright little, tight little,
Slight little, light little,
Trim little, prim little craft !
CHOKTJS For she is such, &c.
ROSE. My hopes will be blighted I fear,
My dear ;
In a month you'll be going to sea,
Quite free,
And all of my wishes
You'll throw to the fishes
As though they were never to be ;
Poor me !
As though they were never to be,
31
And I shall be left all alone
To moan,
And weep at your cruel deceit,
Complete ;
While you'll be asserting
Your freedom by flirting
With every woman you meet,
You cheat
With every woman you meet !
Though I am such a smart little craft
Such a neat little, sweet little craft.
Such a bright little, tight little,
Slight little, light little,
Trim little, prim little craft !
CHORUS. Though she is such, &c.
Enter ROBIN.
ROB. Soho ! pretty one in my power at last, eh ? Know ye not
that I have those within my call who, at my lightest bidding, would
immure ye in an uncomfortable dungeon ? (Calling.) What ho ! within
there !
RICH. Hold we are prepared for this (producing a Union Jack).
Here is a flag that none dare defy (all kneel), and while this glorious
rag floats over Rose Maybud's head, the man does not live who
would dare to lay unlicensed hand upon her !
ROB. Foiled and by a Union Jack ! But a time will come and
then
ROSE. Nay, let me plead with him (to ROBIN). Sir Ruthven, have
pity. In my book of etiquette the case of a maiden about to be
wedded to one who unexpectedly turns out to be a baronet with a
curse on him, is not considered. Time was when you loved me madly.
Prove that this was no selfish love by according your consent to my
marriage with one who, if he be not you yourself, is the nezt best
thing your dearest friend !
BALLAD. ROSE.
In bygone days I had thy love
Thou hadst-my heart.
But Fate, all human vows above,
Our lives did part !
By the old love thou hadst for mo
By the fond heart that beat for thee
By joys that never now can be,
Grant thou my prayer !
ALL. (kneeling). Grant thou her prayer !
32
ROE. (recit). Take her I yield
ALL. (recit). Oh rapture !
CHORUS. Away to the parson we go
Say we're solicitous very
That he will turn two into one
Singing hey, derry down derry !
RICH. For she is such a smart little craft
HOSE. Such a neat little, sweet little craft
HIGH. Such a bright little
ROSE. Tight little
RICH. Slight little
ROSE. Light little
BOTH. Trim little, slim little craft !
CHORUS. For she is such a smart little craft, &c.
Exeunt all but ROBIX.
ROB. For a week I have fulfilled my accursed doom ! I have
duly committed a crime a-day ! Not a great crime, I trust, but
still in the eyes of one as strictly regulated as I used to be, a crime.
But will my ghostly ancestors be satisfied with what I have done, or
will they regard it as an unworthy subterfuge ? (Addressing Pictures).
Oh, my forefathers, wallowers in blood, there came at last a day when,
sick of crime, you, each and every, vowed to sin no more, and BO, in
agony, called welcome Death to free you from your cloying guiltiness.
Let the sweet psalm of that repentant hour soften your long-dead
hearts, and tune your souls to mercy on your poor posterity ! (kneeling).
(The staye darlcem for a moment. It becomes light again, and the
Pictures are seen to have become animated.)
CHORUS OF FAMILY PORTRAITS.
Painted emblems of a race,
All accurst in days of yore,
Each from his accustomed place
Steps into the world once more
(The Pictures step from tJieir frames and march round the stage.)
Baronet of Ruddigore,
Last of our accursed line,
Down upon the oaken HOOE
Down upon those knees of thine
33
Coward, poltroon, shaker, squeamer,
Blockhead, sluggard, dullard, dreamer,
Shirker, shuffler, crawler, creeper,
Sniffler, snuffler, waller, weeper,
Earthworm, maggot, tadpole, weevil !
Set upon thy course of evil
Lest the King of Spectre-Land
Set on thee his grisly hand !
(The spectre of Sir Boderic descends from his frame).
SIB ROD. By the curse upon our race
CHOBUS. Dead and hearsed
All accursed !
SIB BOD. Each inheriting this place
CHOBUS. Sorrows shake it !
Devil take it !
SIB ROD. Must, perforce, or yea or nay
CHORUS. Yea or naying
Be obeying !
SIR ROD. Do a deadly crime each day !
CHORUS. Fire and thunder,
"We knocked under
Some atrocious crime committed
Daily ere the world we quitted !
SIB ROD. Beware ! beware ! beware !
ROB. Gaunt vision, who art thou
That thus, with icy glare
And stern relentless brow,
Appearest, who knows how ?
SIR ROD. I am the spectre of the late
Sir Roderic Murgatroyd,
Who comes to warn thee that thy fate
Thou cans't not now avoid.
Ron. Alas, poor ghost !
SIB ROD. The pity you
Express, for nothing goes :
We spectres are a jollier crew
Than you, perhaps, suppose !
CHOBUS. Yes ! yes I
We spectres are a jollier crew
Than you, perhaps, suppose !
Ha! ha!
34
SONG. SIB RODERIC.
When the night wind howls in the chimney cowls, and the bat in the
moonlight flies,
And inky clouds, like funeral shrouds, sail over the midnight skies
When the footpads quail at the night-bird's wail, and black dogs bay
the moon,
Then is the spectre's holiday then is the ghosts' high noon !
CHORUS. Ha! ha!
Then is the ghosts' high-noon !
As the sob of the breeze sweeeps over the trees and the mists lie low on
the fen,
From grey tomb-stones are gathered the bones that once were women
and men,
And away they go, with a mop and a mow, to the revel that ends too
soon,
For cockcrow limits our holiday the dead of the night's high noon !
CHORUS. Ha ! ha ! !
The dead of the night's high-noon !
And then each ghost with his ladye-toast to their churchyard beds
take flight.
With a kiss, perhaps, on her lantern chaps, and a grisly grim, " good-
night";
Till the welcome knell of the midnight bell rings forth its jolliest tune,
And ushers our next high holiday the dead of the night's high-noon !
CHORUS. Ha ! ha !
The dead of the night's high-noon !
HOB. I recognize you now you are the Picture that hangs at the
end of the gallery.
SIR ROD. In a bad light I am,
ROB. Are you considered a good likeness ?
SIR ROD. Pretty well. Flattering.
ROB. Because as a work of art you are poor.
SIR ROD. I am crude in colour, but I have only been painted ten
years. In a couple of centuries I shall be an Old Master, and then you
will be sorry you spoke lightly of me.
ROB. And may I ask why you have left your frames ?
SIR ROD. It is our duty to see that our successors commit their
daily crimes in a conscientious and workmanlike fashion. It is our
duty to remind you that you are evading the conditions under which
you are permitted to exist.
35
ROB. Really I don't know what you'd have. I've only been a bad
baronet a week, and I've committed a crime punctually every dr "
SIR ROD. Let us enquire into this. Monday ?
ROB. Monday was a Bank Holiday.
SIR ROB. True. Tuesday?
ROB. On Tuesday I made a false income tax return.
ALL. Ha ! ha !
IST GHOST. That's nothing.
2ND GHOST. Nothing at all.
SRD GHOST. Everybody does that.
4TH GHOST. It's expected of you.
SIR ROD. Wednesday ?
ROB. (melodramatically). On Wednesday, I forged a will.
SIR ROD. Whose will ?
ROB. .My own.
SIR ROD. My good sir, you can't forge your own will !
ROB. Can't I though ! I like that ! I did ! Besides, if a man can't
forge his own will, whose will can he forge ?
IBT GHOST. There's something in that.
2ND GHOST. Yes, it seems reasonable.
3RD GHOST. At first sight it does.
4iH GHOST. Fallacy somewhere, I fancy !
ROB. A man can do' what he likes with his own?
SIR ROD. I suppose he can.
ROB. Well then, he can forge his own will, stoopid ! On Thursday
I shot a fox.
IST GHOST. Hear, hear !
SIR ROD. That's better (addressing Ghosts). Pass the fox, I think ?
(They assent.) Yes, pass the fox. Friday ?
ROB. On Friday I forged a cheque.
SIR ROD. Whose cheque ?
ROB. Old Adam's.
SIR ROD. But Old Adam hasn't a banker.
ROB. I didn't say I forged his banker I said I forged his cheque.
On Saturday I disinherited my only son.
SIR ROD. But you haven't got a son.
ROB. No not yet. I disinherited him in advance, to save time.
You see by this arrangement he'll be born ready disinherited.
36
SIB ROD. I see. But I don't think you can do that.
BOB. My good sir, if I can't disinherit my own unborn son, whose
unborn son can I disinherit ?
SIR ROD. Humph ! These arguments sound very well, but I can't help
thinking that, if they were reduced to syllogistic form, they wouldn't hold
water. Now quite understand us. We are foggy, but we don't permit
our fogginess to be presumed upon. Unless you undertake to well,
suppose we say, carry off a lady ? (addressing Ghosts.) Those who
are in favour of his carrying off a lady (all hold up their hands
except a Bishop). Those of the contrary opinion ? (Bishop holds up
his hands'). Oh, you're never satisfied ! Yes, unless you undertake
to carry off a lady at once I don't care what lady any lady choose
your lady you perish in inconceivable agonies.
ROB. Carry off a lady ? Certainly not, on any account. I've the
greatest respect for ladies, and I wouldn't do anything of the kind for
worlds ! No, no. I'm not that kind of baronet I assure you ! If that's
all you've got to say, you'd better go back to your frames.
SIB ROD. Very good then let the agonies commence.
GHOSTS make passes. ROBE* begins to writhe in agony.
ROB. Oh ! Oh ! Don't do that ! I can't stand it !
SIB ROD. Painful, isn't it ? It gets worse by degrees.
ROB. Oh Oh ! Stop a bit ! Stop it, will you ? I want to speak
SIB RODEBIC makes signs to GHOSTS who resume their attitudes.
SIB ROD. Better ?
ROB. Yes better now ! Whew !
SIB ROD. Well, do you consent ?
ROB. But it's such an ungentlemanly thing to do !
SIB ROD. As you please. (To Ghosts.) Carry on !
ROB. Stop I can't stand it 1 I agree ! I promise ! It shall be done
SIB ROD. To-day ?
ROB. To-day !
SIB ROD. At once ?
ROB. At once ! I retract ! I apologize ! I had no idea it was
anything like that !
CHORUS.
He yields ! He answers to our call !
We do not ask for more.
A sturdy fellow, after all,
This latest Ruddigore !
All perish in unheard of woe
Who dar our irills defy ;
37
We want your pardon, ere we go,
For having agonized you so
So pardon us
So pardon us
So pardon us
Or die !
ROB. I pardon you !
I pardon you !
ALL. He pardons us
Hurrah !
(The Ohosts return to their frames.)
CHOBUS. Painted emblems of a race,
All accurst in days of yore
Each to his accustomed place
Steps unwillingly, once more !
(By this time the Ohosts have changed to pictures again. ROBIN
is overcome by emotion.)
Enter ADAM.
ADAM, My poor master, you are not well
HOB. Gideon Crawle, it won't do I've seen 'em all my ancestors
they're juut gone. They say that I must do something desperate at
once, or perish in horrible agonies. Go go to yonder village carry
off a maiden bring her here at once anyone I don't care which
ADAH. But
ROB. Not a word, but obey ! Fly !
[Exit ADAM.
RECIT AND SONG. ROB.
Away, Remorse !
Compunction, hence !
Go, Moral Force !
Go, Penitence !
To Virtue's plea
A long farewell
Propriety,
I ring your knell !
Come guiltiness of deadliest hue,
Come desperate deeds of derring do !
Henceforth all the crimes that I find in the Times
I've promised to perpetrate daily;
To morrow I start, with a petrified heart,
On a regular course of Old Bailey.
There 's confidence tricking, bad coin, pocket-picking.
And several other disgraces
38
There's postage-stamp prigging, and then, thimble-rigging,
The three-card delusion at races !
Oh ! a Baronet's rank is exceedingly nice,
But the title 's uncommonly dear at the price !
Te well-to-do squires, who live in the shires,
Where petty distinctions are vital,
Who found Athenaeums and local museums,
With views to a baronet's title
Te butchers and bakers and candlestick makers
Who sneer at all things that are tradey
Whose middle-class lives are embarrassed by wives
Who long to parade as "My Lady,"
Oh ! allow me to offer a word of advice,
The title 's uncommonly dear at the price !
Te supple M.P.'s, who go down on your knees,
Tour precious identity sinking,
And vote black or white as your leaders indite
(Which saves you the trouble of thinking),
For your country's good fame, her repute, or her shame,
Tou don't care the snuff of a candle [name
But you 're paid for your game when you 're told that your
Will be graced by a baronet's handle
Oh ! allow me to give you a word of advice
The title 's uncommonly dear at the price ! {Exit ROBIN.
Enter SIR DESPARD and MARGARET. They are both dressed in sober
Hack of formal cut, and present a strong contrast to their
appearance in Act I.
DUET.
DBS. I once was a very abandoned person
MAR. Making the most of evil chances.
DBS. Nobody could conceive a worse 'un
MAR. Even in all the old romances.
DEB. I blush for my wild extravagances,
But be so kind
To bear in mind,
MAR We were the victims of circumstances !
(Dance.)
That is one of our blameless dances.
MAR. I was an exceedingly odd young lady
DBS. Suffering much from spleen and vapours.
MAR. Clergymen thought my conduct shady
DBS. She didn't spend much upon linen-drapers.
39
MAR. It certainly entertained the gapers.
My ways were strange
Beyond all range
DBS. And paragraphs got into all the papers.
(Dance.)
DES. We only cut respectable capers.
DBS. I've given up all my wild proceedings.
MAR. My taste for a wandering life is waning.
DBS. Now I'm a dab at penny readings.
MAR. They are not remarkably entertaining.
DBS. A moderate livelihood we're gaining.
MAR. In fact we rule
A National School.
BBS. The duties are dull, but I'm not complaining,
(Dance.)
This sort of thing takes a deal of training !
DES. We have been married a week.
MAR. One happy, happy week !
DES. Our new life -
MAR. Is delightful indeed !
DES So calm !
MAR. So unimpassioned ! (wildly.) Master, all this I owe to you !
See, I am no longer wild and untidy. My hair is combed. My face'
is washed. My boots fit !
DBS. Margaret, don't. Pray restrain yourself. Remember, you
are now a district visitor.
MAR. A gentle district visitor !
DES. You are orderly, methodical, neat ; you have your emotions
well under control.
MAR. I have ! (wildly.) Master, when I think of all you have
done for me, I fall at your feet. I embrace your ankles. I hug your
knees ! (Doing so.)
DES. Hush. This is not well. This is calculated to provoke
remark. Be composed, I beg !
MAR. Ah ! you are angry with poor little Mad Margaret !
DES. No, not angry ; but a district visitor should learn to
eschew melodrama. Visit the poor, by all means, and give them lea
and barley-water, but don't do it as if yon were administering a bowl
of deadly nightshade. It upsets them. Then when you nurse sick
people, and find them not as well as could be expected, why go into
hysterics ?
MAR. Why not?
DES. Because it's too jumpy for a sick room.
40
MAR. How strange ! Oh, Master ! Master ! how shall I express
the all-ahsorbing gratitude that (about to throw herself at his feet).
DBS. Now ! (warningly).
MAR. Yes, I know, dear it sha'n't occur again. (He is seated
she sits on the ground by him). Shall I tell you one of poor Mad
Margaret's odd thoughts? Well, then, when I am lying awake at
night, and the pale moonlight streams through the latticed casement,
strange fancies crowd upon my poor mad brain, and I sometimes think
that if we could hit upon some word for you to use whenever I am
about to relapse some word that teems with hidden meaning like
" Basingstoke" it might recall me to my saner self. For, after all, I
am only Mad Margaret ! Daft Meg ! Poor Peg ! He ! he ! he !
DBS. Poor child, she wanders ! But soft someone comes
Margaret pray recollect yourself Basingstoke, I beg ! Margaret, if
you don't Basingstoke at once, I shall be seriously angry.
MAR. (recovering herself). Basingstoke it is !
DBS. Then make it so.
Enter ROBIN. He starts on seeing them.
ROB. Despard ! And his young wife ! This visit is unexpected.
MAR. Shall I fly at him ? Shall I tear him limb from limb ?
Shall I rend him asunder ? Say but the word and
DBS. Basingstoke !
MAR. (suddenly demure) Basingstoke it is !
DBS. (Aside). Then make it so. (Aloud). My brother I call
you brother, still, despite your horrible profligacy We have come to
urge you to abandon the evil courses to which you have committed
yourself, and at any cost to become a pure and blameless ratepayer.
ROB. But I've done no wrong yet.
MAR. (Wildly.) No wrong ! He has done no wrong ! Did you
hear that !
DBS. Basingstoke.
MAR. (Recovering herself). Basingstoke it is.
DBS. My brother I still call you brother, you observe you
forget that you have been, in the eye of the law, a Bad Baronet of
Ruddigore for ten years and you are therefore responsible in
the eye of the law for all the misdeeds committed by the unhappy
gentleman who occupied your place.
ROB. I see ! Bless my heart, I never thought of that ! Was I
very bad ?
DBS. Awful. Wasn't he ? (to MARGARET).
ROB. And I've been going on like this for how long ?
DEB. Ten years ! Think of all the atrocities you have committed
by attorney as it were during that period. Remember how
41
you trifled with this poor child's affections how you raised her hopes
on high (don't cry my love Basingstoke, you know), only to trample
them in the dust when they were at the very zenith of their fulness.
Oh fie, sir, fie she trusted you !
ROB. Did she ? What a scoundrel 1 must have heen ! There,
there don't cry, my dear (to MABGABET, who is sobbing on ROBIN'S
breast), it's all right now. Birmingham you know Birmingham
MAB. (sobbing.) It's Ba Ba Basingstoke !
ROB. Basingstoke ! of course it is Basingstoke.
MAB. Then make it so !
ROB. There, there it's all right he's married you now that ia,
Pve married you (turning to DESPARD) I say, which of us has married
her?
DBS. Oh, I've married her.
ROB. (aside.) Oh, I'm glad of that (to MABGABET). Yes, 7ie's
married you now (passing her over to DESPABD), and anything more
disreputable than my conduct seems to have been I've never even
heard of. But my mind is made up I ivill defy my ancestors. I will
refuse to obey their behests, thus, by courting death, atone in some
degree for the infamy of my career !
MAB. I knew it I knew it God bless you (hysterically).
DBS. Basingstoke !
MAB. Basingstoke it is ! (Recovers herself).
PATTER-TRIO.
ROBIN, DESPABD and MABGABET.
ROB. My eyes are fully open to my awful situation
I shall go at once to Roderic and make him an oration.
I shall tell him I've recovered my forgotten moral senses,
And I don't care two-pence halfpenny for any consequences.
Now I do not want to perish by the sword or by the dagger,
But a martyr may indulge a little pardonable swagger,
And a word or two of compliment my vanity would flatter,
But I've got to die to-morrow, so it really doesn't matter !
DES. So it really doesn't matter
MAB. So it really doesn't matter
ALL. So it really doesn't matter, matter, matter, matter, matter !
MAB. If I were not a little mad and generally silly
I should give you my advice upon the subject, willy nilly ;
I should show you in a moment how to grapple with the
. question,
And you'd really be astonished at the force of my suggestion.
42
On the subject I shall write you a most valuable letter,
Pull of excellent suggestions when I feel a little better,
But at present I'm afraid I am as mad as any hatter,
So I'll keep 'em to myself, for my opinion doesn't matter !
DBS. Her opinion doesn't matter
BOB. Her opinion doesn't matter
ALL Her opinion doesn't matter, matter, matter, matter, matter !
DBS. If I had been so lucky as to have a steady brother
Who could talk to me as we are talking now to one another
Who could give me good advice when he discovered I was
erring,
(Which is just the very favour which on you I am conferring).
My story would have made a rather interesting idyll,
And I might have lived and died a very decent indiwiddle.
This particularly rapid, unintelligible patter
Isn't generally heard, and if it is it doesn't matter !
ROB. If it is it doesn't matter
MAR. If it ain't it doesn't matter
ALL. If it is it doesn't matter, matter, matter, matter, matter !
[Exeunt DESPARD and MARGARET.
Enter ADAM.
ADAM (guiltily). Master the deed is done !
ROB. What deed ?
ADAM. She is here alone, unprotected
ROB. Who ?
ADAM. The maiden. I've carried her off I had a hard task, for
she fought like a tiger-cat !
ROB. Great heaven, I had forgotten her ! I had hoped to have died
unspotted by crime, but I am foiled again and by a tiger-cat ! Pro-
duce her and leave us !
(ADAM introduces OLD HANNAH, very much excited, and exit.}
ROB. Dame Hannah ! This is this is not what I expected.
HAN. Well sir, and what would you with me ? Oh, you have begun
bravely bravely indeed ! Unappalled by the calm dignity of blameless
womanhood, your minion has torn me from my spotless home, and
dragged me, blindfold and shrieking, through hedges, over styles, and
across a very difficult country, and left me, helpless and trembling at
your mercy ! Yet not helpless, coward sir, for approach one step
nay, but the twentieth part of one poor inch and this poniard (pro-
duces a very small dagger) shall teach ye what it is to lay unholy
hands on old Stephen Trusty's daughter !
ROB. Madam, I am extremely sorry for this. It is not at all what
intended anything more correct more deeply respectful than my
intentions towards you, it would be impossible for anyone however
paiticular to desire.
43
HAN. Bah, I am not to be tricked by smooth words, hypocrite I
But be warned in time, for there are, without, a hundred gallant
hearts whose trusty blades would hack him limb from limb who dared
to lay unholy hands on old Stephen Trusty's daughter !
ROB. And this is what it is to embark upon a career of unlicensed
pleasure !
(HANNAH, who ha* taken a formidable dagger from one of the armed
figures, throws her small dagger to ROBIN.)
HAN. Harkye, miscreant, you have secured me, and I am your poor
prisoner ; but if you think I cannot take care of myself you are very
much mistaken. Now then, it's one to one, and let the best man win !
(Making for him.)
ROB. (in an agony of terror.) Don't ! don't look at me like that !
I can't bear it ! Roderic ! Uncle ! Save me !
Roderic enters, from his picture. He comes down the stage.
ROD. What is the matter ? Have you carried her off ?
ROB. I have she is there look at her she terrifies me ! Come
quite up and save me !
ROD. (looking at HANNAH.) Little Nannikin !
HAN. (amazed.) Roddy -doddy !
ROD. My own old love ! Why how came you here ?
HAN. This brute he carried me off ! Bodily ! But 111 show him !
(about to rush at Robin.)
ROD. Stop ! (to ROB.) What do you mean by carrying off this lady ?
Are you aware that, once upon a time she was engaged to be married
to me? I'm very angry very angry indeed.
ROB. Now I hope this will be a lesson to you in future, not to
ROD. Hold your tongue, sir.
ROB. Yes, uncle.
ROD. Have you given him any encouragement?
HAN. (to ROB.) Have I given you any encouragement ? Frankly
now, have I ?
ROB. No. Frankly, you have not. Anything more scrupulously
correct than your conduct, it would be impossible to desire.
ROD. You go away.
ROB. Yes, uncle. [Exit Robin.
ROD. This is a strange meeting after so many years !
HAN. Very. I thought you were dead.
ROD. I am. I died ten years ago.
HAN. And are you pretty comfortable ?
ROB. Pretty well that is yes, pretty well.
44
HAN. You don't deserve to be, for I loved you all the while, dear ;
and it made me dreadfully unhappy to hear of all your goings on,
you bad, bad boy !
BALLAD. HAJTNAH.
There grew a little flower
'Neath a great oak tree :
When the tempest 'gan to lower
Little heeded she :
No need had she to cower,
For she dreaded not its power
She was happy in the bower
Of her great oak tree !
Sing hey,
Lackaday !
Let the tears fall free
For the pretty little flower and the great oak tree !
BOTH. Sing hey,
Lackaday, &c.
When she found that he was fickle,
Was that great oak tree,
She was in a pretty pickle,
As she well might be
But his gallantries were mickle,
For Death followed with his sickle,
And her tears began to trickle
For her great oak tree !
Sing hey,
Lackaday ! &c.
Said she, " He loved me never,
Did that great oak tree,
But I'm neither rich nor clever,
And so why should he ?
But though fate our fortunes sever,
To be constant I'll endeavour,
Aye, for ever and for ever,
To my great oak tree ! "
Sing hey,
Lackaday ! &c.
Falls weeping on RODERICKS bosom.
Enter ROBIN, excitedly, followed by all the characters and CHORUS op
BRIDESMAIDS.
ROB. Stop a bit both of you.
ROD. This intrusion is unmannerly.
45
HAN. I'm surprised at you.
ROB. I can't stop to apologise an idea has just occurred to me. A
Baronet of Kuddigore can only die through refusing to commit his
daily crime.
ROD. No doubt.
ROB. Therefore, to refuse to commit a daily crime is tantamount
to suicide !
ROD. It would seem so.
HOB. But suicide is, itself, a crime and so, by your own showing,
you ought never to have died at all !
ROD. I see I understand ! Then I'm practically alive !
ROB. Undoubtedly ! (Sir Roderic embraces Hannah.) Rose, when
you believed that I was a simple farmer, I believe you loved me ?
ROSE. Madly, passionately !
ROB. But when I became a bad baronet, you very properly loved
Richard instead ?
ROSE. Passionately, madly !
ROB. But if I should turn out not to be a bad baronet after all,
how would you love me then ?
ROSE. Madly, passionately !
ROB. As before ?
ROSE. Why, of course !
ROB. My darling ! [They embrace.
RICH. Here, I say, belay
ROSE. Oh sir, belay, if itfs absolutely necessary.
ROB. Belay? Certainly not!
FINALE.
HOB. Having been a wicked baronet a week,
Once again a modest livelihood I seek,
Agricultural employment
Is to me a keen enjoyment,
For I'm naturally diffident and meek !
ROSE. When a man has been a naugnty baronet,
And expresses his repentance and regret,
You should help him, if you're able,
Like the mousie in the fable,
That's the teaching of my. Book of Etiquette.
46
RICH. If you ask me why I do not pipe my eye,
Like an honest British sailor, I reply,
That with Zorah for my missis,
There'll be bread and cheese and kisses,
Which is just the sort of ration I enjye !
DBS. & MAR. Prompted by a keen desire to evoke,
All the blessed calm of matrimony's yoke,
We shall toddle off to-morrow,
From this scene of sin and sorrow,
For to settle in the town of Basingstoke !
ALL. For happy the lily
That's kissed by the bee ;
And, sipping tranquilly,
Quite happy is he ;
And happy the filly
That neighs in her pride ;
But happier than any,
A pound to a penny,
A lover is, when he
Embraces his bride !
CURTAIN
Henderson, Rait, & Spalding, Printers, 3 and 5 Marylebone Lane, London, W.
PIRATES OF PEHZANCE.
Comic <pem
Words by W. S. GILBERT.
Musio by ARTHUR SULLIVAN,
Tke following are now ready : s. B.
Vocal Score _....-.,-...._... nett 6
Pianoforte Solo. (Arranged bj BBRTHOLO TOURS] _ - nett 8
All the following Pott-free for Half Prlot,
DANCE MUSIO BY CHARLES D 1 ALBERT.
Pirates of Penzanoe Waltz . . . _ Solo or Duet 4
Pirates of Penzanoe Lancers _ _ _ _ Do. Do. 4
Pirates of Penzanoe Quadrille . . . . Do. Do. 4
Pirates of Penzanoe Galop. _ .... Do. Do. 4
Pirates of Penzanoe Polka . ... ._ _ . . .40
Orchestra, 2s. ; Septett, Is. nett.
VOCAL MUSIC.
The Policeman's Song . . . _ . . . .40
I am a Pirate King ... ._ ... . . . . . .40
The Modern Major-General ...... .40
Poor Wand'ring One (Mabel's Song) _ . . . . .40
Ah I leave me not to pine alone. Duet _ .. . . .40
PIANOFORTE ARRANGEMENTS.
BOYTON SMITH'S Fantasias, 1 and 2 . . . .Each 4
BOYTON SMITH'S Fantasia as a Dnet . ... . _ _ 6
KUHE'S Fantasia . -_ ... ... . ... . ... ... 4
SMALL WOOD'S Policeman's Song ; Chorus of Pirates ; and Poor
Wand'ring One ................. Each 8
HILLER'S Grand Selection for Pianoforte . . ._ 4
Orchestral Parts to Ditto ........ nett 8
Septett _ . _ ... . . nett 1
FRED GODFREY'S Grand Selection for Pianoforte. (As played
by all the Military Bands) _ _ .-
VIOLIN AND PIANOFORTE.
HENRY FARMER'S Fantasia .......... 50
VIOLIN.
All the Favourite Airs arranged for the Violin . . nett 1 6
FLUTE.
All the Favourite Airs arranged for the Flute ... nett 1
CORNET.
All the Favourite Airs arranged for the Cornet . . nett 1
CHAPPELL & CO., 50, NEW BOND STREET, W.
AND 15, POULTRY, E.G.
OB,
THE PEER AND THE PERI.
A. NEW AND ORIGINAL FAIRY OPERA.
WORDS BY MUSIC BT
W. 8. GILBERT. ARTHUR SULLIVAN.
VOCAL SCORE .. .. 5/. net.
PIANOFORTE SOLO (arranged by Berthold Tours).. 3/- net.
VOCAL MU8IO. . .
"None shall part us." Duet ..........
The Lord Chancellor's Song, "A very susceptible Chancellor " _ _
"Said I to myself, said I" ........
M Spurn not the nobly born "._....__
"The Sentry's Song* .........
"When Britain really ruled the waves" ......
" In vain to ns yon plead Dont go." Duet, with pizzicato accompaniment
"Oh, foolish Fay" ("Oh, Captain Shaw") . . . - . . .
PIANOFORTE ARRANGEMENTS.
WINTEREOTTOM'S Selection, as played by all the Military Bands .
Do. do. Duet ......
XUHE'S Fantasia ..........
BOYTON SMITH'S Fantasia ........
BEBTHOLD TOURS' March of the Peers ......
BERTHOLD TOURS' March in Finale of 1st Act . . . .
SMALL WOOD'S Easy Fantasia .......
DANCE MU8IO BY CHARLES D'ALBERT.
QUADRILLE, Solo or Duet .401 WALTZ, Solo or Duet . .
LANCERS, do. .40 POLKA, do. - -
VIOLIN AND PIANOFORTE.
FARMER'S "IOLANTHE" ...... ....5
CHEAP WORKS.
VIOLIN, Is. 6d. FLUTE, Is. 6d. CORNET, Is. 6d.
CHAPPELL & CO,, 50, NEW BOND STREET, W.
City Branch 18, POULTRY, E.G.
THE MIKADO;
OR,
THE TOWN OF TITIPU,
WOK.DS BY
MUSIC BY
W. 8. GILBERT.
ARTHUR SULLIVAN.
VOCAL SCORE (arranged by GEORGE LOWELL TRACY) ... s/~ nctt
Do. bound ... 7/6 nett
PIANOFORTE ARRANGEMENT (do, do.) ... 3/- nett
LIBRETTO ... i/- nett
VOCAL MUSIC.
1 Three Little Maids from School." Trio ... 4
' The sun whose rays " .... 4
' They never would be missed " 4 o
Brightly dawns our Wedding Day." Madrigal 4 o
Do. Do. Cheap Edition for Choral Societies o 6
The Mikado's Song " 4 o
' Hearts do not break " 4
Willow, tit-willow "
PIANOFORTE ARRANGEMENTS.
WINTERBOTTOM'S Selection, as played by all the
Military Bands 4 o
KUHE'S Fantasia 4 o
Do. Duet 5 o
BOYTON SMITH'S Fantasia 4 o
SMALLWOOD'S Fantasia 4 o
DANCE MUSIC.
QUADRILLE, Solo or Duet
LANCERS, do.
WALTZ, do.
POLKA... _
VIOLIN.
SELECTION... _
VIOLIN AND PIANO.
FARMER'S MIKADO
...P. BUCALOSSI 4 o
... P. BUCALOSSI 4 o
...P. BUCALOSSI 4 o
...P. BUCALOSSI 4 o
~. X
WINTERBOTTOM'S Selection from the Mikado,
arranged for Orchestra by J. Pougher.
Orchestra 3 4
Octuor *
For Military Band . ~. 15
LONDON:
CHAPPELL & CO., 50, NEW BOND STREET, W.
City Branch 15, POULTRY, E.G.
RUDDIGORE;
OR,
THE WITCH'S CURSE.
An entirely Original Supernatural Opera.
WORDS BY .$. MUSIC BY
W.S.GILBERT. ARTHUR SULLIVAN.
S. D.
VOCAL SCORE ... . ... ... _ nett 5 o
Do. bound nett 7 6
PIANOFORTE SOLO (arranged by LOWELL TRACY) nett 3 o
LIBRETTO ... ... nett i o
VOCAL MUSIC.
" If somebody there chanced to be " ... 40
" The bold British Tar " 4 o
" If you wish in the world to advance " ... ... ... 4 o
" To a garden full of posies " 40
" The pretty little Flower and the great Oak Tree " ...40
PIANOFORTE ARRANGEMENTS.
WINTERBOTTOM'S Selection, as played by all the
Military Bands. Solo 40
KUHE'S Fantasia ... 40
BOYTON SMITH'S Fantasia ... 40
SMALLWOOD'S Fantasia 4 o
DANCE MUSIC BY BUCALOSSI.
QUADRILLE. Solo or Duet . _ ~ . ... 4 o
WALTZ. Solo or Duet ...
LANCERS. do. ... 4 o
POLKA ... ... _ _ 4 o
VIOLIN AND PIANOFORTE.
HENRY FARMER'S Fantasia ... 50
WINTERBOTTOM'S Selection from Ruddigore, arranged
for Orchestra by Hamilton Clarke.
Orchestra _ 3 4
Octuor ... 2 8
For Military Band 15 o
LONDON:
CHAPPELL & CO., 50, NEW BOND STREET, W.-
City Branch 15, POULTRY, E.C.
