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A N
ESSAY
1 1 Defence of the
FEMALE SEX.
h which are inferred the
CHARACTERS
O F
A Pedant,
A Squire,
A Beau,
A VertucJQ,
A Pceta/ier,
AC?t)-Cr:t/ck,&c,
In a Letter to a Lady.
Written by a Lady.
Since tack is fond of his own ugly Face j .
Whjjhou'dyou when -m hold it break the Glafs?
Prol. to Sir F. Fluttir.
* LONDON,
Printed for A Roper and £. Wilkinfon at the Black %,
and R, Clavd at the Peacock, in Fieetftreet, 1696.
m ■ 1 1 » m i mm m i Ml -"!
>Cv2e4(Q.-2£
/ I
/ ^73
To Her ^qyal Highnefs the
Prihcefs Anne o/Deftmark.
MAD A Mi
IF in adventuring to lay this little
Piece at your Highneilesireet, and
humbly beg your Royal Protection
of it, I have prefum'd too far 7 be pleas'd
to impute it to your own 5 moit graci-
ous Goodnefs^the knowledge of which
encourag'd me. Our Sex are by Na-
ture tender of their own Off-fpring^
and may be allow'd to have more
fondnefs for thofe of the Brainy then
any other ; becaufe they are io few,
and meet with fo ma:ny Enemies at
their firft appearance in the World*
I hope therefore to find pardon^if like
an indulgent Parent 3 I have endea-
vour'd to advance my firft Born, by
entering it very early into your High-
n^fifes Service.
A * i
DEDICATION.
I have not preium'd to approach
your Highnefs out of any Confidence
in the merits of this Eflay^but of the
Caufe which it pleads, wherein the
Honour of the whole Sex feem'd to
exaft of me no lefs a Patronage than
that of the Beft, as well as Greateft
among em, whom they are all am-
bitious to fee at their head. I have
only endeavour'd to reduce the Sexes
to a Level, and by Arguments to
raife Ours to an Equallity at moil
with the Men : But your Highnefs
by Illuftrious Example daily convin-
ces the World of our Superiority,
and we lee with wonder, Vertues in
you, Madam, greater than yout Birth.
In this I am peculiarly happy, that I
am exempted from the common Task
of other Dedicators, who lie under
an Obligation of publifhing to the
World thofe Excellencies of their
Patrons, which perhaps appear no
where but in their Epiftles. In me
/it were as great folly, to pretend to
make
DEDICATION.
make known the Illuftrious Qualli-
ties of your Highnefs, as it wou'd be
to go about to demonflrate by Ar-
gument^ that the Sun ihin'd, to a
Crowd that are warm' d by the Influ-
ence of it.
I had attempted the Character of
a confummate Woman, could I, tho'
but faintly have fliaddowM the ini-
mitable Graces of you Highnefs; but
the impoflibillity of that Task forcd
me to defift. It were eafy here to
lanch into thofe glorious particulars,
which affirmed of any other than
your Royal Highnefs, would have
been extravagance of Flattery ; but
to you Injuftice, and in me the high-
eft prefumption^to attempt with my
feeble Hand thofe Perfections, which
the ableft mud fall infinitely fhort
of. The luflre of your Royal Vertucs,
Madam, like the Sun, gives us
warmth and light, and while at a
modeft diftance we admire it, im-
proves our fight, which too bold a
A -5 view
i?£.jJlCATIOIsr.
yicw confounds., yet the meaneft anci
moil ignorant fee thofe Glories^
which the mo(l exquifite Artift can
never exprefs. T he World therefore
will rather juftify than condemn my
conducft, if I do not wrong fo bright
an Original with a dark obfeure Copy.
Madam, Tho' the world may con-
demn my performance, it muft ap-
plaud f$y choice in this Addrefs, and
own that hacl I known as well how to
|uq as to Inftance, I mud infalli-
aave Triumph'd oyer all Qppofi-
Hi It may be eafie to eyade,, or
baffle the force of my Arguments,
but it is impoUible without the ut-
*noft Stupidity, and Injuftice to deny
the manifeft Advantages of thole
Illuftrious Graces, which raife your
Highnefs fo far above theirs as well
as your own Sex, In this I have im-
itated the cpndud; of prudent Gene-
pfe who, when they doubt the
f efficiency of their ftrengrh, retire
to fome ftrong Fort, an4 reft f£
ewe
DEDICATION.
cure under the Prote&ion of it,
There is yet another Rea(or\jMadam y
which tho' the leaft juftifiable, was
neverthelefs moft prevalent with me
to devote this Effay to your Highnefs.
My Ambition to iliew the profound
Refpe&s I have always had for your
Highnefs, would not fafter me to let
flip any occafion of expreffing k, e-
yen tho I blufti for the meanes of it.
Thus I find my fclf reduc'd by my
Zeal, to the condition of poor Te-
nants, who muft expofe their Pover-
ty, to /hew their Affection to their
Lord in a worthlefs Prefent. I am
fenfible of the railinefs of my Ambi-
tion in afpiring to the Patronage of
Your Highnefs, and the need I have
of an Apology ; but were I able to
make one as I ought, I fhould have
taken care to have had lefs occafion
for it. Yet I doubt not from Your
Goodnefs that Indulgence, which j
cannot expert from Your Juftice
por but that you will ( like Heaven 5
A 4 whofe*
DEDICATION.
whole more immediate Images Prin-
ces are ) accept my unprofitable Ser-
vice, for the imcerity with which it
is tender'd. If my unfeigtrd Sub-
miflion may procure pardon for my
Prefumption, that Your Happinefs
may equal Your illuftrious Vertues,
and Your Royal Perfon be as far
out of the reach of Fortune, as your
Fame and Honour of Detraction,
fhall ever be the prayers df
Madam,
Tour Royal Highnefs's
moft Humble, mofl
Oledient, and mofl
Devoted Servant
■» . « ■ .1.1 1 , mm , ,,,
* " ' ' ■— " " '»'■ ■ ' > ■' ■ 1.1 H I ■ ! »
PREFACE
PRefaces to wofl Books, are like Pro*
locutors to Puppet-Shows , they
come fir fl to tell you what Figures are
to le prefented, and what Tricks they
are to play. According therefore to
ancient and laudable Cuftom, I have
thought fit to let you know byway of Pre*
face, orAdvertiJement,{callit which you
pleafe ) that here are many fine Figures
within to be feen, as well worth your
curiofity, as any in Smithfield a/ Bar-
tholomew Tide. I will not deny, Rea-
der, but that you may have feen feme
of' em there already, to thofe that have,
I have little more to fay, than that if
they have a mind to fee them again in
Ejfigie, they may do it here. What is
it you woud have ? Here are St*
George's, Batemans, John Dories,
Punchinello's, and the Creation of the
World, or whafs as good ; here's the
German Artifl: too, or one that can
fhow more Tricks than he : If all this
mil not invite you, fare grown more
fqueamifh
Preface.
fqueamifh of late, Gentlemen, than you
us* J to he, and the poor Bookfeller will
make hut an indifferent Market of you.
Well, let the worft come to the worft t
'tis hut fhifting the fcene ft?Smithfield,
and making an Intereft in half a dozen
Vizor r Masks to he fur e of your Compa-
ny : But he, good Man, is defirous to
pleafe you at fir ft hand, and therefore
has put a fine Figure in y the front to
invite you in, fo like fome of you ( as
he protefts ) that you ought never look
in a Glafs again, if it offends you. For
my part, I declare, he has atled clear
againji my Opinion in this cafe, and fq
he has heen told; for many a poor Man
has loft the /bowing of his Monfter, hy
gratifying the curiofity of the gaping
Crowd with top exall a pitlure with"
put doors. Befides, there* s an unlucky
Rogue of a left-handed Barher, that
looks like an ill Omen in the heginning.
He was told too, that if he wou d pleafe
tnoft of you, he ought to take example
I) your Glaffes and flatter you. Tet
he continued ohftinate and unmoveahle
to all thefe weighty Reafons, and is fo
fondly hent for his Pitlure, that he re-
fold d againft all advice to have it.
Nay,
Preface.
Nay, and he woud have Rhimes un-
derneath it too, which, he fays, iveigh
more with you, than all the Reafon in
the world. I thought ft to let you
know this, that the Bookfeller might
not lofe the credit of his Fancy, if it
takes with you, as he is perfwaded it
will. For ypu mufl know, I am a great
lover of flritl Jujlice, and therefore
would by no means Rob, or Defraud
him of the Glory of his Invention, or
by any finifter way fullie, or diminifb
the Honour, or Reputation of his Farts
and Ingenuity. For the fame Reafon
likewife I mufl acquaint you, that the
Rhimes are none of mine neither ; and
now my Hand is in, I dont much care
if I tell you, that I am not very good
at that ingenious Recreation, called
(Crambo, from which fome rife to be
very confide r able Rhimers, 1 his now
is more then I was obligd to tell you,
and therefore I hope no body will deny,
but that I deal ingenuoufly at leaft
with you.
This one would think were Preface
fufficient ; but there are fome Men fo
impertinently, curious, that they mufi
nfeds hav? a Reafon for every things
thai
Preface.
that is done in the World, tho* it were
in their' favour {for which perhaps it
were hard to give a good one ) when
it were their Inter eji to he fatisfied,
and thankful without farther enquiry.
To comply therefore in fowe meafure
with the humour of thefe People, if a-
ny fuch think fit toperufe this Book, I
tnttft tell *cm very freely, that I was fo
far from aiming to oblige, or d if oblige
'em by it, that it was never intended
for their View. It was occafion'd by a
private Converfaticn, between fomc
Gentlemen and Ladies, and written at
the requeft, and for the Dherfion of
one Lady more particularly, by whom
with my confent it was communicated
to two or three more of both Sexes,
my Friends likewife.
By them I was with abundance of
Complements importund to make it
publick ; now tho I do with good Rear
fon attribute much more, of what was
faid to me upon this Occafion, to their
good Breeding and Friend/hip, than to
their real Opinions of my Performance;
yet I have Jo much fatisfatlion in their
Sincerity,, and Friendfhip as to be con-
fident they would not fujfer, mucklefs
per*
Preface,
perfwade me to e&pofe to the world a*
ny things of which they doubted fo far,
as to think it would not be toller ally
acceptable. Nor have I lefs affurance
of their judgment and Skill in things
of this nature, be fide that I have been
inform d by fome of 'em, that it has
been feen, and favourably receivd by
fome Gentlemen, whom the world thinks
no incompetent Judges. After all this
Encouragement, I fuppofe, I fhall not
be thought vain, if, as I pretend not
to the applaufe, fo I fear not tk con*
tempi of the world : Tet I prefume not
fo far upon the Merits of what I have
written, as to make my Name pub*
lick with it. I have elfewhere held,
that Vanity was almoft the univerfil
mover of all our Aft ions, and confe*
quently of mine, as well as of others ;
yet it is mt ftrongcnougl] in me, to in*
duce me to bring my Name upon the
publick ft age of the World.
There are many Reafons, that ob-
lige me to this cautious, referv'd way
oj procedure ; tho I might otfierwife
e very ambitious of appearing in the
defence of my Sex, co&d I p erf wade
my feif, tlwt I was able to write any-
thing
Preface.
thing futable to the dignity of the
Subjett, which I am not vain enough
to think. This indeed is one Reafon,
lecaufe I am fenfible it might have
heen much letter defended by abler
TenSy fuch as many among our own Sex
are; though I be'lieve fcarce thus much
woud have been expected from me y by
thofe that know met There is like-
ivife another Reafon, which was yet
more prevalent with me, and with thofe
few Friends whom I confulted about
it, which is this ; There are a fort of
Men, that upon all occafwns think
themfelves more concern' dj and more
thought of than they are; and that 4
like Men that are deaf, or have any
other notorious Defeftj can fee no body
ivhifper, or laugh, but they think 'tis
at themfelves. Thefe Men are apt to
think, that every ridiculous de]crip~
tion they meet with± was intended
more particularly for feme one or other
of them ; as indeed it is hard to paint
any thing compleat in their feveral
Kinds, without hitting many of their
particular Features 4 even without draw-
ing from theme The knowledge of this,
with the conji deration of the tender -
nefs
Preface.
nefs of Reputation in our Sex ', {which
as our delicateft Fruits and fin eft Flow-
ers are moft obnoxious to the injuries
of Weather, is fubmitted to every infe-
tVtous Blaft of malicious Breath ) made
me very cautious, how I expos V mine
to fuch poifonous Vapours. I was not
ignorant, how liberal fome Men are
of their Scandal, whenever provoked,
efpecially by a Woman * and how
ready the fame Men are to be fo+
iho upon never fo miftaken Grounds.
This made me refolve to keep y em in
Ignorance of my Name, and if they have
a mind to find me out, let 'em catch
me {if they can) as Children at Blind*
mans Buff do one another, HooAwinkt ;■.
and I am of Opinion I have room enough
to put 'em out of Breath before they
come near me.
The Event has in Effecl proved my
fufpicio s Trophetick ; for there are {as
I am inform d) already fome, fo for*
tvard to intereft themfelves againft me,
that they take Characters upon them*
felves, before they fee f em; and, for
fear they fhould want fome Body to
throw their Dirt at, with equal Igno*
ranee f and Injuftice Father this Piece
upon
Preface.
upon the Gentleman, wloo was fo kind at
to take care of the Publication of it,
only to excufe me from appearing. This
wade me once refolve to oppofe my In*
uocence to their Clamour, and perfix
my Name, which I thought I was
hound to do in Juftice to him. In this
Refolution 1 had perfifted, had not the
'Very fame Gentleman generoujly per*
fwaded, and over-rufd me to the con*
trary, reprefenting how weak a defence
Innocence is againjl Calumny, how o-
pen the Ears of all the World are, and
how greedily they fuck in any thing to
the prejudice of a Woman ; and that ( to
ufe his own Expreffwn ) the fcandal of
fuch Men, was like Dirt thrown ly
Chitdren, and Fools at random, and
without Provocation, it would dawi fil-
thily at fir ft, though it were eafily wafht
iff again; Adding^ that he deft rd me
not tt 1$ under any concern for him ; for
he valued the Malice of fitch men, as lit*
tie, as their Friendjhip, the one was as
feeble, as tother falfe.
I fuppofe I need make vo Apology to
my own Sex for themeanefs of this de*
fence ; the bare intention of ferving
'em will .(/ hope he accepted, and of
Men
Pitface;
Men, the Candid and Ingenuous I am
fure will not quarrel with me for any
thing in this little Book ; fince there is
nothing in it, which was not drawn from
the ftrictefl Reafon I was Miflrefs of
and the left Observations I was able to
make, except a jlart or two only con-
cerning the Sal i que Law, and the
Amazons, which, if they divert not
the Reader, cant offend him.
I fkaU not trouble the Reader with
any account of the Method I have ol~
ferv'd, he will eafily tlif cover that in
reading the Piece it felf I /hall only
take notice to him of one thing, which
With a little attention to what he reads
he will readily find to be true± that is,
that the Characters were not written
out of any Wanton Humour, or Malici-
ous Defign to characlerize any T articu-
lar Per/ons, but to illuflrate nhat I
have faid upon the fever at Heads, under
which they are rang'd, and reprefent not
Jingle Men, but fo many Clans, or Di~
vi liens of Men, that play the Fooiferi*-
oujly in the World, If any Individual
Jeem to be, more peculiarly marttj it is
becaufe he is perhaps more notorious
tv the Wotld ,by fome one or more Arti*
Preface.
cles of the General Character here given
I am Jure that there is no Man, who is
hut moderately Accquainted with the
World, efpecially this Town, but may
find half a Dozen, or more Originals
for every Pitlure. After all, if any
Man have fo little Wit, as to appropri-
ate any of thefe Characters to himfelf,
He takes a liberty I have hitherto ne-
ver given him, but fhall do it now in
the Words of a Great Man, If any
Fool finds the Cap fit him, let him
put it on.
There are fome Men, ( I hear ) who
will not allow this Piece to be written
by a Woman ; did I know what EJlimate
to make of their Judgments, I might
perhaps have a higher Opinion of this
Triffle, than I ever yet had. For I
little thought while I was writing this,
that any Man ( efpecially an Ingenious
Man ) [hould have thefcandal of being
the reputed Author. For he muft
think it fcandalous to be made to Father
)a Womans Produtlions unlawfully.
But thefe Gentlemen, Ifnppofe, believe
there & more Wit, than they I find in
this Piece, upon the Credit of the
Bockfeller, whofe Inter eft it is to flatter
it.
Preface.
it. But were it as well written as I
could wijh it, or as the SubjecJ woud
hear, and deferves ; I fee no reafon
why our Sex fhoud be robb'd of the
Honour of it ; Since there have been
Women in all Ages, whofe Writings
flight vie with thofe of the greatefl Men,
as the Prefent Age as well as pafi can
teflifie. I fh all not trouble the Reader
with their names, becaufe I woud not
he thought fo vain, as to rank my f elf
among 'em ; and their names are already
too well known, and celebrated to re-
ceive any additional Lufire from fo.
weak Encomiums as mine. I pretend
not to imitate, much lefs to Rival thofe
lOjuJlrious Ladies, who have done fo
much Honour to their Sex, and are
unanfwerable Proofs of, what I contend
for. I only wife* thatfome Ladies now
living among us ( whofe names I forbear
to mention in regard to their Modejly)
\voud exert themfelves, and give us
more recent In/lances, who are both by
Nature and Education fufficiently qua*
lified to do it, which I pretend not to.
I freely own to the Reader, that I
know no other Tongue be fides my Native,
except French, in which I am but very
B z moderate
Preface.
moderately skilled. I plead not this
to excufe the meanefs ofrry Terformance ;
lecaufe I know, I may reasonably be
ask'd, why 1 was fo forward to write;
For that I have already given my rear
fons above, if they will notfatisfie the
Reader, he muft endeavour to pleafe
him) elf "with letter, for lam very little
folic it ous ahout the matter. I fhallon*
ly add, that for my Good Will J hope
the Favour of my own Sex? which will
fytisfe my Ambition,
To
To the Mod Ingenious Mrs.: —
or her Admirable Defence
of Her Sex.
LOng have we fung the FanVd OrinaWs praife,
And own'd Jftrexs Title to the Bays ,
We to their Wit have paid the Tribute due,
But fhou'd be Bankrupt, before juft to you.
Sweet flowing Numbers, and fine Thoughts they
• writ;
But you Eternal Truths, as well as Wit.
In them the Force of Harmony we find,
Jn you the Strength, and Vigour of the Mind.
Park Clouds of Prejudice obfcur'd their Verfe,
You with Victorious Profe thofe Clouds difperfe t
Thofe Foggs, which wouM not to tfyeir Flame
fubmit,
Vanifh before your Riling Sun of $j7ir.
Like Stars, they only in Themfelves were bright,
The whole Sex fhines by your reflected Light*
Our Sex have long thro* Ufurpation reign'd,
And' by their Tyranny their Rule maintain'd.
Till wanton grown with Arbitrary Sway
Depos'd by you They practice to obey,
proudly fubmitting, when fuch Graces meet,
Beauty by Nature, and by Conqueft Wit.
for Wit they had on their own Sex entailtt,
TiH for your felf, and Sex you thus prevail'd.
Thrice happy §ex ) Whofe Foes rqch Pow'r
dj&rms,
And gives frefli Luftre to your nativ^Charms,
Whole Nervous Senfe couch'din clot* Method
•lies, ;
Clear
Clear as her Soul, and piercing as her Eyes.
If any yet fo ftupid fhou'd appear,
As frill to doubt, what (he has made fo clear,
Her Beautie's Arguments they would allow,
And to Her Eyes their full Converfion owe.
And by Experiment the World convince.
The Force of Reafon's lefs, than that of Senfe.
, Your Sex you with fuch Charming Grace de-
fend,
While that you vindicate, youQurs amend :
We in your Glafs may fee each foul defect.
And may not only fee, but may correct.
In vain old Greec* her Sages would compare,
They taught what Men (hould be, you what
they are
Withdoubtfull Notiones they Mankind perplext,
And with unpra&icable Precept vext
In vain they ftrove wild Paflions to reclaim,
Uncertain what they were, or whence they came.
But you, who have found out their certain Source,
May with a happier Hand divert their Courfe.
Themfelves fo little did thofe Sages know,
That to their Failings We their Learning owe.
Their Vanity firft caus'd 'cm to afpire,
And with feirce Wranglings fet all Greece on
Fire :
Thus into feels they fnlit the Grecian youth,
Contending more for Victory than Truth.
Your Speculations nobler Ends perfue,
They aim not to be Popular, buwtrue.
You with ftrict luftice in an equal Light,
Expofe both Wit arid Folly to our Sight,
Yet as the Bee feci? re on Poyfon feeds,
Extracting Honey from the rankeft Weeds :
So fafely you in Fools Inftructours find,
And Wildom in the Follies of mankind.
With pu « er Waves henceforth mall Satyr flow,
And we this change t» your chaft Labours owe;
Satyr before from a Polluted Source
Brought Native Filth, augmented in its courfe.
No longer muddy ihail thofe Streams appear,
Whith
Which you have purg'd, and made To fweet, and
clear.
Well may your Wit to us a wonder fcem,
So ftrong's the Current, yet fo clear the frream,
Deep, but not Dull, thro* each transparent Line
We fee the Gems, which at the Bottom fliine.
To your Correction freely we fubmit,
Who teach us Modefty, as well as Wit.
Our Sex with Blufiies muft your Conqueft own,
While yours prepare the Garlands you have won.
Your Fame fecure long as your Sex Ihall laft,
Nor Time, nor Envy fliall your Lawrels blaft.
James Drake,
The Reader is defird to excuje y and correct
all Liberal Efcafes y and to amend the fol-
lowing thus.
Errata;
PAge 4. 1. 1 6. for Eugenia, read Eugenia, p. I o,
1. xi. for that, read the, p. 28. 1. 16. for
Mammy, read Mummy, p. 29. 1. 13. for change read
chance* p. 3 2 . 1. 4. for R^«f . «w,reid Repetition, p $ 3 .
I. 4- for £fay, read Efop. p 53. 1. 13. for MeJJteurs,
t&tASicws. p. 60. 1. 2. read upon us. p. 84. 1. 1.
for iwfcf tkefe t> t&d thefe. p. 10 j 1. 23. for little
read little, p. 11 1. 1. 12. tor ocjicaons, tndtccajions*
p. 1 1 3. 1. for Mafter, read Mafiery. p. 126. J. id.
for *j well, read <w we// */. p. 143. 1. 9. for ivfpire,
read infpires*
I i ]
AN
E SSAY
In Defence of the
Female Sex, &c>
H E Convcrfation we had
Mother day, makes me, Dear
Madam, but more fenfibie
of the unreafonablenefs of
your defire ; which obliges me to
inform you further upon a Subject,
wherein I have more need of your
iuftrudrioni. The ftrength of Judg-
ment, iprightly Fancy, and admira-
ble Addrefs, you fhew'd upon that
Occafion, fpeak you fo perfedt a
Miilrefs of that Argument (as -I
doubt not but you are cf any other
that you pleafe to engage in ) that
whoever, Avould fpeak or write
~^yeil on it, ought firft to be your
£ Scholla-r,
[ * ]
Schollar. Yet to let you fee htfvv
abfolutely you may command me,
I had rather be your Eccho, than
be filent when You bid me fpeak,
and beg your excufe rather for my
Failures, than want of Complacence*
I know You will net aceufe me for
a Plagiary if I return You nothing,
but what I have glean'd from You,
when You confider, that I pretend
not to make a Prefent, but to pay
the Intereft only of a Debt. Nor
can You tax me with Vanity, fince
no Importunity of a Perfon lefs
lov'd, or valu'd by me than your
felf could have extorted thus much
from me. This Confideration leaves
me no room to doubt but that you
will with your ufual Candour par-
don thole Defe&s, and correct thofe
Errors, which proceed only from
an over forward Zeal to oblige
You, though to my own Difad-
vantage.
The defence of our Sex againft fo
many and fo great Wits as have fo
ftrongly at.ack'd it , may juftly
feem a Task too difficult for a Wo-
man
man to attempt. Not that I cari,
or ought to yield, that we are by-
Nature lefs enabled for fuch an En-
terpize, than Men are; which I
hope at leaft to fhew plaufible Rea-
fons for, before I have done : But
becaufe through the Ufurpation of
Men, and the Tyranny of Cufloni
( here in England efpecially ) there
are at moft but few, who are by
Education, and acquir'd Wit, or
Letters fufficiently quallified for
fuch an Undertaking. For my owii
part I fhall readily own, that as
few as there are, there may be
and are abundance, who in their
daily Converfations approve them-
felves much more able, and fuffici-
ent AfTertors of our Caufe, than
my fclf ; and I am forry that ei-
ther their Bufmefs, their other Di-
verfions, or too great Indulgence of
their Eafe, hinder them from doing
publick Juftice to their Sex. The
Men by Intereii or Inclination are
fo generally engag'd againfl us,
that it is not to be expected, that
any one Man of Wit fhould arife fo
generous as to engage in our Quar-
B 2 rel,
[4]
rel, and be the Champion of our
Sex againft the Injuries and Op-
pressions of his own. Thofe Ro-
mantick days are over, and there
is not io much as a Don Quixot of
the Quill left to fuccour the diftref-
fed Damfels. 'Tis true, a Feint
of fomething of this Nature was
made three or four Years fince by
one ; but how much foever his Eu-
genia may be oblig'd to him, I am
of Opinion the reft of her Sex are
but little beholding to him. For as
you rightly obferv'd, Madam, he
has taken more care to give an
Edge to his Satyr , than force to
his Apology; he has play 'd a (ham
Prize, and receives more thrufts
than he makes ; and like a falfe Re-
negade fights under our Colours
only for a fairer Opportunity of be-
traying us. But what could be ex-
pected elfe from a Beau ? An Anni-
mal that can no more commend in
earned a Womans Wit, than a
Man's Perfon, and that compli-
ments curs, only to (hew his own
good Breeding and Parts. He le-
vels his Scandal at the whole Sex,
and
U I
and thinks us fufficiently fortified,
if out of the Story of Two Thou-
faad Years he has been able to
pick up a few Examples of Women
iiluftrious for their Wit, Learning
or Vertue, and Men infamous for
the contrary ; though I think the
mod inveterate of our Enemies
would have fpar'd him that labour,
by granting that all Ages have pro-
duced Perfons famous or infamous
of both Sexes ; or they muft throw
up all pretence to Modefty, or
Reafon.
I have neither Learning, nor In-
clination to make a Precedent, or
indeed any ufe of Mr. W's. laboured
Common Place Book ; and fhall
leave Pedants and School-Boys to
rake and tumble the Rubbifh of
Antiquity, and mufter all the He-
roes and Heroins they can find to
furniili matter for fome wretched
Harangue, or (luff a miferable De-
clamation with inftead of Senfe or
Argument.
8 3 I
Sme *d x I fliall not enter into any difpute,
vmaag*s u whether Men, or Women be gene-
totbsdif rally more ingenious, or learned;
t*riiy of that Point muft be given up to the
Education. ac { vanta g es Men have over us by
their Education, Freedom of Con-
verfe, and variety of Bufmefs and
Company. But when any Compa-
rifon is made between 'em, great
allowances muft be made for the
difparity of thofe Circumftances.
Neither fliall I conteft about the
preheminence of our Virtues ; I
know there are too many Vicious,
and I hope there are a great many
Virtuous of both Sexes. Yet this
I may fay, that whatever Vices are
found amongft us, have in general
both their lburce^ and encourage-
ment from them.
The Queftion I fliall at prefent
handle is, whether the time an in-
genious Gentleman fpends in the
Company of Women, may juflly
be faid to be mifemploy'd, or not i
I put the queftion in general terms ;
becaufe whoever holds the affirma-
tive muft maintain it fo, or the Sex
[7]
is no way concerned co oppofe him.
On the other fide I fhall not main-
tain the Negative, but with fome
Reflations and Limitations ; be-
caufe I will not be bound to jufli-
fic thofe Women, whofe Vices and
ill Conduct expofe them deferved-
ly to the Cenfure of the other Sex,
as well as of their own. The Que-
flion being thus ftated, let us con-
fider the end and purpofes,for which
Converfation was at firft inftituted,
and is yet defirable ; and then we
fliall fee, whether they may not all
be found in the Company of Wo-
men. Thefe Ends, I take it, are
the fame with thofe we aim at in
all our other Actions, in general
only two, Profit or Pleafure. Thefe
are divided into thofe of the Mind,
and thofe of the Body. Of the
latter I fhall take no further No-
tice, as having no Relation to the
prelent Subject; but fhall confine
my felf wholly to the Mind, the
Profit of which is the Improvement
of the Underflanding , and the
Pleafure is the Diverfion, and Re-
laxa:io:i of its Cares and Paffions.
B 4 Now
[ 8 ]
Now if either of thefe Ends be at-
tainable by the Society of Women,
I have gain'd my Point. However,
I hope to make it appear, that they
are not only both to be met with in
the Converfation of Women, but
one of them more generally, and iq
greater meafure than in Mens.
Our Company is generally by
our Adverfaries reprefented as un-
profitable and irkfome to Men of
Senfe, and by fome of the more
vehement Sticklers againft us, as
Criminal. Thefe Imputations as
they are unjuft, efpecially the lat-
ter, fo they favour ftrongly of the
Malice, Arrogance and Sottiflmefij
of thofe, that mod frequently urge
'em ; who are commonly either con-
ceited Fops, whofe fuccefs in their
Pretences to the favour of our Sex
has been no greater than their Me-
rit, and fallen very far fhort of their
Vanity and Prefumption, or a fort
of morofe, ill-bred, unthinking
Fellows, who appear to be Men
only by their Habit and Beards,
and are fcarce diltinguiihable from
Brutes
[p]
Brutes but by their Figure and Ri-
fibility. But I fhall wave thefe Re-
flections at prefent, however juft,
and come clofer to cmr Argument.
If Women are not quallified for the
Convecfation of ingenious Men, or,
to go yet further, their friendihip,
it mu ft be becaufe they want foine
one condition, or more, neceflarily
requifite to. either. The ncceflary
Conditions of thefe are Senfe, and
good nature, to which muft be ad-
ded, for Friendihip, Fidelity and
Integrity. Now if any of thefe
be wanting to our Sex, it muft be
either becaufe Nature has not been
fo liberal as to beftow 'em upon
us ; or becaufe due care has not been
taken to cultivate thofe Gifts to a
competent meaiure in us.
The firft of thefe Caufes is that,
which is moft generally urg'd a-
gainft us, whether it be in Raille-?
ry, or Spight. I might eafily cut
this part of the Controverfy fhort
by an irrefragable Argument, which
is, that the expr-Js intent, and rea-
ibn for which Woman was created,
was
[ io]
was to be a Companion, and help
meet to Man ; and that corjfequent-
ly thofe, that deny 'em to be fo,
mud argue a Miftake in Provi-
dence, and think themfelves wifer
than their Creator. But thefe Gen-
tlemen are generally fuch paffionate
Admirers of themfelves, and have
fuch a profound value and reve-
rence for their own Parts, that they
are ready at any time to facrifice
their Religion to the Reputation of
their Wit, and rather than lofe
their point, deny the truth of the
Hiftory. There are others, that
though they allow the Story yet
affirm, that the propagation, and
continuance of Mankind, was the
only Reafon for which we were
made ; as if the Wisdom that firft
made Man, cou'd not without trou-
ble have continu'd that Species by
the fame or any other Method, had
not this been mofl conducive to his
happinefs, which was the gracious
and only end of his Creation. But
thefe fuperficial Gentlemen wear
their Underftandings like their
Clodies, always let and formal;
and
[.» ]
and wou'd no more Talk that*
Drefs out of Fafhion ; Beau's that,
rather than any part of their out-
ward Figure Ihou'd be damagd,
wou'd wipe the dirt of their {hoes
with their Handkercher, and that
value themfelves infinitely more
upon modifh Nonfenfe, than upon
the bed Senle againfl the Fafliion.
But fince I do not intend to make
this a religious Argument, I fhall
leave aM further Confiderations of
this Nature to the Drvines, whole
more immediate Bufmefs and Stu-
dy in is to aflert the Wiillom of
Providence in the Order, and diftri-
bution of this World, againft all that
Hi all oppofe it.
To proceed therefore if we- be Ng d/n/t} _
naturally defe&ive, the DefecTt muft ti-onofsex*
be either in Soul or Body. In }&&**** $****
Soul it can't be, if what I have
hear'd ibme learned Men maintain,
be true, that all Souls are equal,
and alike, and that consequently
there is no fuch diilinciion, as Male
and Female Souls ; that there are
no innate Ideas ^ but that all the
Notions
[ 12 ]
Notions we have, are deriv'd from
our External Senfes, either imme-
diately, or by Reflexion. Thefe
Metaphyfical Speculations, I muft
own Madam, require much more
Learning and a ftronger Head, than
I can pretend to be Miflrefs of, to
be confider'd as they ought : Yet
fo bold I may be, as to undertake
the defence of thefe Opinions, when
any of our jingling Opponents think
fit to refute 'em.
Xoadvati- Neither can it be in the Body,
tageintbt ( if \ ma y credit the Report of lear-
iimtfridr ne d Phyficians ) for there is no dif-
Bodies. ference in the Organization of thofe
Parts, which have any relation to,
or influence over the Minds ; but
the Brain, and all other Parts (which
lam not Anatomift enough to
name ) are contriv'd as well for the
plentiful conveyance of Spirits,
which are held to be the immedi-
ate Inftruments ofSenfation, in Wo-
men, as Men. I fee therefore no
natural Impediment in the ftru&ure
of our Bodies ; nor dees Experience,
qi Obfervation argue any : We ufe all
cur
Lm] ■
our Natural Faculties, as well as
Men, nay and our Rational too, de-
ducting only for the advantages be-
fore mention'd.
Let us appeal yet further to Ex- cmfim?d
perience, and obierve thole Crea-^^ £ ^'"
tures that deviate leaft from fimple &&*.
Nature, and fee if we can find a-
ny difference in Senfe, or under-
ftanding between Males and Fe-
males. In thele we may fee Na-
ture plained, who lie under no
conftraint cf Cuftom or Laws ,
but thoft of Paffion or Appetite,
which are Natures, and know no
difference of Education, nor re-
ceive any Byafs by prejudice. We
fee great diftance in Degrees of
Underftanding, Wit, Cunning and
Docility ( call them what you
pleafe ) between the feveral Species
of Brutes. An Ape, a Dog, a
Fox, are by daily Obfervation
found to be more Docile , and
more Subtle than an Ox, a Swine,
or a Sheep. But a She Ape is as
full of, and as ready at Imitation as
a He: & Bitch will learn as many
Tricks
f '4]
Tricks in as fhort a time as a Dog,
a Female Fox has as many Wiles
as a Male. A thoufand inftanc.s of
this kind might be produc d ; but I
think thefe are fo plain, that to
inftance more were a fuperfluous la-
bour ; I fhall only once more take
notice, that in Brutes and other A-
nimals there is no difference be*
twixt Male and Female in point of
Sagacity, notwithftanding there is
the fame diftindtion of Sexes > that
is between Men and Women. I
have read, that fomc Philosophers
have held Brutes to be no more
than meer Machines, a fort of Di-
vine Clock-work, that Adt only by
the force of nice unfeen Springs
without Senfation, and cry out
wirhout feeling Pain, Eat without
tlunger , Drink without Tliifft,
fawn upon their Keepers without
feeing 'em, hunt Hares without
Smelling, &c. Here Madam is co-
ver for our Ancagonifts againft the
laft Argument fo thick, that there
is no beating 'em out. For my
part, I fhall not envy 'em their re-
fuge, life 'em lie like the wild Irijh
fecure
fecurc within their Boggs ; the field
is at leafl ours, fo long as they
keep to their Faftnefles. But to
quit this Topick, I fhall only add,
that if the learnedeft He of em all
can convince me of the truth of
this Opinion, He will very much
flagger my Faith ; for hitherto I
have been able to obferve no dif-
ference between our Knowledge
and theirs, but a gradual one ; and
depend upon Revelation alone,
that our Souls arc Immortal, and
theirs not.
But if an Argument from Brutes s xper/e „ C(
and other Animals fhall not be al-^/;^
low'd as conclufive, (though I can't
fee, why fuch an Inference fhould
not be valid, fince the parity of
Reafon is the fame on both fides
in this Cafe, ) I fliall defire thofe,
that ':old againft us to obferve
the Country People, I mean the
inferiour fort of them, fuch as not
having Stocks to follow Husban-
dry upon their own Score, fubfiffc
upon their daily Labour. For a-
mongft thefe, though not fo equal
as
as that of Brutes, yet the Condi-
tion of the two Sexes is mere le-
vel, than amongft Gentlemen, Ci-
ty Traders, or rich Yeomen. Ex-
amine them in their feveral Bufi-
neiTes, and their Capacities will ap-
pear equal ; but talk to diem of
things indifferent, and out of the
Road of their conftant Employment,
and the Ballance will fall on our
fide, the Women will be found the
more ready and polite. Let us
look a little further, and view our
Sex in a flate of more improve-
ment, amongft our Neighbours the
Dutch. There we fhall find them
managing not only the Domeftick
Affairs of the Family, but making*
and receiving all Payments as well
great as imall, keeping the Books,
bailancing the Accounts, and do^
ing all the Bufinefs, even the niceft
of Merchants, with as much Dexte-
rity and Exadtnefs as their, or our
Men can do. And I have often
hcar'd iome of our confiderable
Merchants blame the conduct of our
Country-Men in this point ; that
they breed our Women lb igno-
rant '
C *7]
rant of Bnfincfs ; whereas were
they taught Arithmetick, and o-
ther Arts which require not much
bodily ftrength, they might fupply
the places of abundance of lufty
Men now employed in fedentary
Bufinefs ; which Would be a migh-
ty profit to the Nation by fending
thofe Men to Employments, where
hands and Strength are more re-
quired, efpecially at this time wheti
we are in fuch want of People,
Befide that it might prevent the
ruine of many Families, which is,
often occafion'd by the Death of
Merchants in full Bufinefs , and
leaving their Accounts perplexed,
and embroil'd to a Widdow and
Orphans, who underftanding no-
thing of the Husband or Father's
Bufinefs occafions the Rending, and
oftentimes the utter Confounding a
fair Eftate; which might be pre-
vented, did the Wife but under-
ftand Merchants Accounts , and
were made acquainted with the
Books.
€ I have
[ 18 ]
I have yet another Argument
from Nature, which is, that the
very Make and Temper of our Bo-
dies fhew that we were never de-
fign'd for Fatigue ; and the Viva*
city of our Wits, and Readinefs of
our Invention ( which are confefs'd
even by our Adverfarks ) demon-
ftrate that wc were chiefly intend-
ed for Thought and the Exercife of
the Mind. Whereas on the contra*
ry it is apparent from the ftrength
and fize of their Limbs, the Vi-
gour and Hardinefs of their Con-
ilitutions, that Men were purpofe-
Iy fram'd and contriv'd for Action,
and Labour. And herein the Wif*
dom and Contrivance of Providence
is abundantly manifefted ; for as
the one Sex is fortified with Cou-
rage and Ability to undergo the
neceflary Drudgery of providing
Materials for the fuftenance of
Life in both; fo the other is fui-
ttifh'd with Ingenuity and Prudence
for the orderly management and
distribution of it, for the Relief and
Comfort of a Family ; and is over
and abjve enrich'd with a peculiar
[ <p ]
Tendernefs and Care requifite to
the Cheriftiing their poor helplefs
OtT-fpring. I know our Oppofers
uilialiy mifcall our quicknefs of
Thought, Fancy and Flafh, and
chriften their own lieavinefs by the
fpecious Names of Judgment and
Solidity ; but it is eafie to retort
upon 'em the reproachful Ones of
Dullnefs and Stupidity with more
Juftice. I fhall purfue this Point
no further, but continue firm in. my
Perfuafion,. that Nature has nor
been ib Niggardly to us, as our
Adverfaries would infinuate, till I
fee better caufe to the contrary,
tlieri I hare hitherto at any time
done. Yet I am ready to yield
to Convi&ioii , whoever offers
it ; which I don't fuddenly ex-
pert.
ft remains then for us to enquire,
whether the Bounty of Nature be
wholly neglected, or ftifled by us,
Or fo far as to make us unworthy
the-Company of Men ? Or whether
our Education ( as bad as it is )
Ifc not -iufficient to make us a ufe-
C 2. fu! ?
[ 20 ]
ful, nay a neceflary pare of Society
for the greateft part of Mankind.
This caufe is leldom indeed urg'd
againft us by the Men, though it
be the only one, that gives 'em a-
ny advantage over us in under-
Handing. But it does not ferve
their Pride, there is no Honour to
be gain'd by it : For a Man ought
no more to value himfelf upon be-
ing Wifer than a Woman, if he
owe his Advantage to a better E-
ducation, and greater means of In-
formation, then he ought to boaft
of his Courage, for beating a Man,
when his Hands were bound. Nay
it would be fo far from Honourable
to contend for preference upon this
Score, that they would thereby at
once argue themfclves guilty both
of Tyranny, and of Fear : I think
&&**& * n not ' iave m€n:ion '4 r ^ ie J ac ~
hvinig- ter; for none can be Tyrants but
n<r*w. Cowards. For nothing makes one
Party flavifhly deprefs another, but
their fear that they may at one
time or other become Strong or
Couragious enough to make them-
fclves equal to, if not fupcriour to
their
their Matters. This is our Cafe;
for Men being fenfible as well of
the Abilities of Mind in our Sex,
as of the ftrength of Body in their
own, began to grow Jealous, that
we, who in the Infancy of the
World were their Equals and Part-
ners in Dominion, might in pro-
eels of Time, by Subtlety and Stra-
tagem, become their Superiours;
and therefore began in good time
to make ufe of Force (the Origine
of Power ) to compell us to a Sub-
jection, Nature never meant; and
made ufe of Natures liberality to
them to take the benefit of her
kindnefs from us. From that time
they have endeavour'd to train us
up altogether to Eafe and Igno-
rance; as Conquerors ufe to do to
thofe, they reduce by Force, that
fo they may difarm 'em, both of
Courage and Wit; and consequent-
ly make them tamely give up their
" Liberty, and abjectly fubmit their
Necks to a flaviih Yoke. As the
• World grew more Populous, and
• Mens NeceiTities whetted their In-
ventions, fo it increas'd their Jea-
C 3 loufie,
[ 2* ]
jfoufy, and ftiarpen'd their Tyranny
over us, till by degrees, it came to
that height of Severity, I may fay
Cruelty, it is now at in all the
Eailern parts of the World, where
the Women, like our Negroes in
pur Weftern Plantations, are bora
flaves, and live Prifoners all their
Lives. Nay, fo far has this barba-
rous Humour prevail'd, and fpread
it felf, that in fome parts of Europe,
which pretend to be moft refin'd
and eiviliz'd, in fpite of Chriftiani-
ty, and the Zeal for Religion which
they fo much affed:,ourConditipn is
not very much better. And even
in France, a Country that treats our
Sex with more Refpedt than moft
origin*} of &°> We are by the Salique Law ex-
the saline- eluded from Soveraign Power. The
f*». French are an ingenious People, and
the Contrivers of that Law knew
well enough, that We were no lels
capable of Reigning, and Governing
well, than themfelves ; but they
were fufpicious, that if the Regal
Power flioifd fall often into the
hands of Women, they would fa-
vour their own Sex, and might in
time
f ** 3
time reftore 'em to their Primitive
Liberty and Equality with the Men,
and fo break the neck of that un-
reafonable Authority they fo much
affecl: over us ; and therefore made
this Law to prevent it. The Hi-
ftorians indeed tell us other Rea-
fons, but they can't agree among
themfelves, and as Men are Parties
againft us, and therefore their Evi-
dence may juftly be rejected. To
fay the truth Madam, I can't teJl
how to prove all this from Ancient
Records ; for if any Hiftories were,
anciently written fey Women, Time,
and the Malice of Men have effe-
ctually confpir'd to fupprefs 'em;
and it is not reafonable to think
that Men fliou'd tranfmit, or fuffer
to be tranfmitted to Posterity, any
thing that might fliew the weak-
nefs and illegallity of their Title to
a Power they (till exercife fo arbi-
trarily, and are fo fond of. But
face daily Experience fliews, and
their own Hiftories tell us, how ear^
neftly they endeavour, and what
they a<St, and fuffer to put the fame
Trick upon one another, 'tis natu-
C 4 ral
ral to fuppofe they took the fame
rneafures with us at firft, which
now they have effected, like the
Rebels in our laft Civil Wars, when
they had brought the Royal Party
under, they fall together by the
jtmsms\ Ears about the Dividend. The Sa-
*>h they cre j Hiftory takes no notice of a*
%ff*nj fu ^h Authority they had before
Men. the Flood, and their Own confefs
that whole Nations have rejected ic
fince, and not fufTcr'd a Man to Jive
amongft them, which cou'd be for
no other Reafon, than their Tyran-
ny. For upon lefs provocation the
Women wou'd never have been fo
foolifh, as to deprive themfelves of
the benefit of that Eaie and Secu-
rity, which a good agreement with
their Men might have afforded 'em.
'Tis true the fame Hiftories tell us,
that there were whole Countries
where were none but Men, which
border'd upon 'em. But this makes
ftill for us ; for it fhews that the
Conditions of their Society were
not fo eafie, as to engage their Wo-
men to flay amongft 'em; but as li-
berty presented it felf, they with-
drew
I>5 ]
drew and retired to the Amazws t
But fince our Sex can hardly bcaft
of fo great Privileges, and to eafie
a Servitude any where as in Engt
land, I cut this ungrateful Digref-
fion fliort in acknowledgment ; tho'
Fetters of Gold are ftill Fetters, and
the fofteft Lining can never make
'em fo eafy, as Liberty.
You will excufe, I know Madam.
this ftiort, but neceffary DigreiTion
I call it neceffary, becaufe it fliews
a probable Reafon, why We are at;
this time in fuch fubje<5rion to them,
without leflening the Opinion of
our Scnk, or Natural Capacities Sir
ther at prcfent, or for the time
paft ; befide that it briefly lays g-
pen without any Scandal to our
Sex, why our Improvements are at
prefent fo difproportiond to thofe
of Men. I wou'd not have any of
our little, unthinking Adverfaries
triumph at my allowing a difpro-
portion between the Improvements
of our Sex and theirs ; and I am
fure thofe of 'cm that are ingenious
Men, will fee no reafon for it from
what I have faid. 4^ e ?
[ 26]
After having granted fo great a
difparity as I have already done in
the euftomary Education, and ad-
vantagious Liberties of the Sexes,
'twere Nonfenfe to maintain, that
pur Society is generally and upon
all accounts as Beneficial, Impro-
ving and Entertaining, as that of
Men. He muft be a very {hallow
Fellow, that reforts to, and fre-
quents us in hopes by our means
to make himfelf confiderable as a
Schollar, a Mathematician, a Phir
lofopher, or a States-man. Thele
Arts and Sciences are the refult on*
ly of much Study and great Expe-
rience ; and without one at leaft of
'em are no more to be acquired by
the Company of Men, however
celebrated for any or all of them,
than by ours. But there are other
Quallifications, which are as indife
penfably neceflary to a Gentleman,
or any Man that wou'd appear to
Advantage in the World, which
are attainable only by Company,
and Converfation, and chiefly by
ours. Nor can the greateit part of
Mankind, of what C^iiallity foever,
boait
[>7 ]
boaft much of the ufe they make,
or the benefit they reap from thefe
acknowledg'd Advantages. So that
Sehollars onlv, and ibme few of
the more thinking Gentlemen, and
Men of Bufineis have any juft
claim to 'em. And of thefe the
firft generally fall fhort enough
fome other way to make the Bal-
lance even. For Sehollars, though c
by their acquaintance with Books,
and converfing much with Old Au-
thors, they may know perfectly
the Senfe of the Learned Dead,
and be perfect Mailers of the YYii-
dom, be throughly inform'd of the
State, and nicely skill'd in the Po-
licies of Ages long fince paft, yet
by their retir'd and unadtive Life,
their neglecT: of Bufinefs, and con-
ftant Converfation with Antiquity,
they are fuch Strangers to, and
lo ignorant of the Domeftick Af-
fairs and manners of their own
Country and Times, that they ap-
pear like the Ghofts of Old Ro*
mans riis'd by Magick. Talk to
them of the Ajfyrian, or Ferjjian
Monarchies, the Qredans or Reman
Com,
p&
[.8 ]
Common-wealths. Theyanfwer like
Oracles, they arefuch finilh'd State-
men, that we fliou'd fcarce take
'em to have been lefs than Confi-
fidents of Semiramis , Tutours to
Cyrus the great, old Cronies of Sc-
ion and Lycurgus, or Privy Coun-
cellours at leafl to the Twelve O-
fars lucce/Tively ;. but engage them in
a Difcourfe that concerns the prefent
Times, and their Native Country,
and they heardly fpeak theLanguage
of it, and know fo little of the af-
fairs of it, that as much might rea<-
.fonably be expected from an ani-
mated Egyptian Mummy. They
are very 'much difturbed to fee a
Fold or a Plait amifs in the Pi&ure
of an Old Roman Gown, yet take
no notice that their own are thred-
. bare out at the Elbows, or Rag-
ged, and fufTer more if Prifcians
Head be broken then if it were
their own. They are excellent
Guides, and can diredt you to e-
very Ally, and turning in old Rome ;
yet lofe their way at home in their
own Parifh. They are mighty ad-
mirers of the Wit and Eloquence of
the
the Ancients; yet had they lrv'd
in the time of Cicero, and Qcefar
vvou'd have treated them with as
much fupercilious Pride, and difre-
fped: as they do now with Reve-
rence. They are great hunters of
ancient Manufcripts, and have in
great Veneration any thing, that
has fcap'd the Teeth of Time and
Rats, and if Age have obliterated
the Characters, 'tis the more valu-
able for not being legible. But if
by chance they can pick out one
Word, they rate it higher then the
whole Author in Print, and wou'd
give more for one Proverb of S de-
mons under his own Hand, then
for all his Wifdom. Thele Super-
flitious, bigotted Idolaters of time
paft, are Children in their under-
(landing all their lives; for they
hang fo inceflantly upon the lead-
ing Strings of Authority, that their
Judgments like the Limbs of foms
India* Penitents , become altoge-
ther crampt and motionlefs for want
ofuf?.
-
But
try Squirt
C 3* ]
But as thefe Men, will hardly be
reckoned much fuperiour to us up-
on the account of their Learning or
Improvements, fo neither will I iup-
pofe another fort diametrically op-
pofite to thefe in their Humors and
tkarafor Opinions : I mean thofe whofe Am
6 £f^!T- cc ft° r5 ^ iave keen Wife anc ^ provident,
and rais'd Ellates by their Ingenui-
ty and Induflry, and given all their
Pofterity after 'em Means, and Lei*'
fure to be Fools. Thefe are gene-
rally fent to School in their Mino*
rity, and were they kept there till
they came to Years of Difcretion,
might moft of 'em day, till tkey
cou'd tuck their Beards into their
Girdles before they left carrying £
Satchel. In conformity to Cuftom,
and the Fafhjon, they are fent ear-
ly to ferve an Apprenticeihip to
Letters, and for eight or nine years
are whipt up and down through
two or three Counties from School
to School ; when being arriv'd a Six-
teen, or Seventeen Years of Age,
and having made the ufual Tour
of Latin, and Greek Authors, they
are call'd Home to be made Gentle-
men*
[-3" ]
fnen. As foon as the young Squire
has got out of the Houfe of Bon-
dage, ihaken off the awe of Birch,
and begins to feel himfelf at Liber-
ty, he confiders that he is now
Learned enough, ( and 'tis ten to
one but his Friends are wife enough
to be of his Opinion ) and thinks
it high time to lhake off the bar-
barous Acquaintance he contracted,
with thole crabbed, vexatious, ob-
fcure Fellows, that gave him fo
much trouble and fmart at School,
Companions by no means fit for a
Gentleman, that writ only to tor-
ment and perplex poor Boys, and
exercife the tyranny of Pedants and
School-mafters. Thefe prudent re-
folutions taken, his Converfation
for fome years fucceeding is whol-
ly taken up by his Hories, Dogs
and Hawks ( eipecially if his Reii-
dence be in the Country ) and the
more fenflefs Animals that tend 'em.
His Groom, his Huntiman, and hh
Falconer are his Tutors, and his
walk is from the Stable to the
Dog-kennel, and the .reverie of ic. His
diyvrfion is drudgery, and he is in
higheft
higheft fatisfaction when lie is mcft-
tir'd. He wearies you in the Morn-
ing with his Sport, in the Afternoon,
with the noifie Repetion and Drink,
and the whole Day with Fatigue
and Confufion. His Entertainment
is dale Beer, and the Hiftory of
his Dogs and Horfes, in which he
gives you the Pedigree of every one
with all the exadhiels of a Herald ;
and if you be very much in his
good Graces, 'tis odds, but he makes
you the Compliment of a Puppy of
one of his favourite Bitches, which
you mu ft take with abundance of
Acknowledgments of his Civillity,
or elfe he takes you for a ftupid,
as well as an ill bred Fellow. He
is very conftant at all Clubs and
Meetings of the Country Gentle-
men, where he will luffer nothing
to be talk'd or hear'd of but his
Jades, his Curs, and his Kites. Up-
on thefe he rings perpetual Chan- j
ges, and trefpaiies as much upon I
the patience of the Company in the
Tavern, as upon their Endofurcs
in the Field, and is lcaft imperii- !
n:nt, when moft drunk.
His
tte ]
His grand Bufinefs is to make
an Affignation for a Horie Race,
or a Hunting Match, and nothing
difcompofes him fo much as a Dii-
appointment. Thus accompliih'd ,
and finifh'd for a Gentleman, he
enters the Civil Lifts, and holds
the Scale of Juftice with as much
Blindnefs as fhe is faid to do. Froiri
hence forward his Worfliip becomes
as formidable to the Ale-Ebufcs,
as he was before Familiar ; he fizeS
an Ale Por, and takes the dimen-
sions of Bread with grea: Dexteri-
ty and Sagacity. He is the ter-
rour of all the Deer, and Poultry
Stealers m the Neighbourhood ,
and is fo implacable a Perfecutor
of Poachers, that he keeps a Re-
gifter of all the Dogs and Guns iri
the Hundred, and is the Scare-Beg-
gar of the Parifli. Short Pots, and
unjuftifiable Dogs and Nets, fur«
niih him with flifficient matter for
Prefentments, to carry him once a
Quarter to the SefTIons ; where he
lays little, Eats and Drinks much,
and after Dinner, Hunts over the
kit Chace, and fo rides Word
D folly
[ 34]
fully Drunk home again. At home
he Exercifes his Authority in gran-
ting his Letters, Pattents to Peti-
tioners for erecting Shovel Board,
Tables and Ginger Bread Stalls.
If he happen to live near any little
Borough or Corporation that fends
BurgeUes to Parliament, he may be-
come ambitious and fue for the Ho-
nour of being made their Repre-
fentative. Henceforward he grows
Popular, bows to, and treats
the Mob all round him ; and whe-
ther there be any in his Dilcourfe
cr not, there is good Senfe in his
Kitchin and his Cellar, which is
more agreeable and edifying. If
he be ib happy as to out-tap his
Competitour, and Drink his Neigh-
bours into an. Opinion of his So-
briety, he is choien, and up he
comes to that Honourable Aflem-
bly, w T here he ihews his Wifdom
beft by his Silence, and ferves his
Country mod in his abfence.
I give you thefe two Characters,
Madam, as irreconcileable as Wa-
ter and Oyl, to fliew that Men
may
r 35 ]
may and do often Baffle and Fru *
(Irate the EfFe&s of a liberal Edu-
cation, as well by Induilry as Ne-
gligence. 'Tis hard to fay, which
of thefe two is the more Sottifh;
the firfl is fuch an Admirer of Le>
ters, that he thinks it a difparage-
ment to his Learning to talk what
other Men underftand, and will
fcarce believe that two, and two,
make four, under a Demonftratiori
from Euclid, or a Quotation of A-
rijlotle : The latter has fuch a fear
of Pedantry always before his Eyes,
that he thinks it a Scandal to his
good Breeding, and Gentility to
talk Senfe, or write true Englifh ;
and has fuch a contemptible Nod-
on of his paft Education, that he
thinks the Roman Poets good for
nothing but to teach Boys to cap
Verfes. For my Part I think the
Learned, and Unlearned Blockhead
pretty equal ; for 'tis all one to
me, whether a Man talk Nonfenfe,
or Unintelligible Senfe, I am diver-
ted and edified alike by either ;
the one enjoys himielf lefs, but fuf-
fers his Friends to do it more; the
D % otliot
[ 36]
other enjoys himfelf and his own
Humour enough, but will let no
body elfe do it in his Company.
Thus, Madam, I have fet them be-
fore You, and fhall leave you to
determine a Point, which I can-
not.
the Educe- There are others that dcferve to
tionofthe be brought into the Company of
Sftr> thCfC UP ° n likC H0110Urable Rea "
cientas ions ; but I keep them in referve
\To™°bi V ^ or a P ro P £r place, where I may
perhaps take the Pains to draw
their Pictures to the Life at full
length. Let us now return to our
Argument, from which we have
had a long breathing while. Let
us look into the manner of our
Education, and fee wherein it falls
fhort of the Mens, and how the
defects of it may be, and are gene-
rally fupply'd. In our tender years
they are the fame, for after Chil-
dren can Talk, they are promifcu-
oufly taught to Read and Write by
the fame Perfons, and at the fame
time both Boys and Girls. When
thelc are aajuir'd, which is gcncral-
E 37 ]
ly about the Age of Six or Seven
Years, they begin to be feparated,
and the Boys are fent to the Gram-
mer School, and the Girls to Board-
ing Schools, or other places, to learn
Needle Work, Dancing, Singing,
Mufick, Drawing, Painting, and
other Accomplishments, according
to the Humour and Ability of the
Parents, or Inclination of the Chil-
dren. Of all theft, Reading and
Writing are the main Inftruments
of Converlation ; though Mufick
and Painting may be allow'd to con-
tribute fomething towards it, as
they give us an infight into two
Arts, that makes up a great Part
of the Pleafures and Diverfions of
Mankind. Here then lies the main
Defect, that we are taught only
our Mother Tongue, or perhaps
French, which is now very fafliion-
able, and almoft as Familiar amongft
Women of Quality as Men ; where-
as the other Sex by means of a
more extenfive Education to the
knowledge of the Roman and Greek
Languages, have a vafler Feild for
their Imaginations to rove in* and
D 3 their
[ 38 ]
their Capacities thereby enlarged.
To fee whether this be flridtly true
or not, I mean in what relates to
bur debate, I will for once fuppofe,
that we are inftru&ed only in our
own Tongue , and then enquire
whether the difadvantage be fb
great as it is commonly imagin'd.
You know very well, Madam, that
for Converfation, it is not requifite
we ihouldbePhilologers, Rhetoric^
ans , Philofophers , Hiftorians or
Poets; but only that we fhould
think pertinently and exprefs our
thoughts properly, on fuch matters
as are the proper Subjects for a
mixt Converfation. The Italians',
a People as delicate in their Con-
verfation as any in the World,
have a Maxim that our felves, our
Neighbours, Religion, or Bufinefs
ought never to be the Subjecft.
Religion, There are very fubflantial Reafons,
&c.wpn- to b e given for thefe Reftri&ions
%mhtJ&* ^ en are ver y 2pt to be vain,
convcrfr- and impertinent, when they talk of
tun ' themfelves, befides that others are
very jealous, and apt to fufpecl,
that all the good things faid, , are
mi
[3P]
intended as fo many arguments of
preference to them. When they
fpeak of their Neighbours, they are
apt out of a Principle of Emulation
and Envy, natural to all the race of
Adam to leflen, and tarnifh their
Fame, whether by open Scandal,
and Defamatory Stories, and Tales,
or by malicious Infinuations, invi-
dious Circumflances , fmifter and
covert Refle&ions. This humour
fprings from an over fondnefs of
our felves, and a miftaken conceit
that anothers lofs is an addition to
our own Reputation, as if like two
Buckets, one mufl neceflarily rife
as the other goes down. This is
the bafeft and mod ungenerous of
all our natural Failures, and ought
to be corrected as much as poflible
e'ry where; but more efpecially in
Italy, where Refentments are car-
ried fo high, and Revenges profe-
cuted with fo much Heat, and A-
nimofity. Religion is likewife ve-
ry tender there, as in all other
places, where the Priefts have fo
much Power and Authority. But
even here, where our differences
D 4 and
[40]
and Difputes have made it more
tame, and us'd it to rough hand-
ling, it ought carefully to be avoi-
ded ; for nothing raifes unfriendly
warmths among Company more than
ar eligious Argument, which therefore
ought to be banifht all Society inten-
ded only for Converfation and Diver-
sion. Bufinefs is too dry and barren
to give any Spirit to Converfation,or
Pleafure to a Company, and is there-
fore rather to be reckon'd among
the Encumbrances than Comforts of
Life, however . neceifary. Bcfides
thele, Points of Learning, abftrufe
Speculations, and nice Politicks,
ought, in my opinion, w be exclu-
ded ; hecaufe being things that re-
quire much Reading and Confidera-
tion, they are not fit to be canvas'd
ex tempore in mixt Company, of
which 'tis probable the greateft part
will have little to fay to 'em, and
will fcarce be content to be filent
Hearers only ; befides that they are
not in their nature gay enough to
awaken the good Humour, or raife
the Mirth of the Company. Nor
need any one to fear, that by thefe
limi?
Ih 1
ipjmitations Converfation fliou'd be
ireftrain'd to too narrow a compais,
ttthere are fubjeds enough that arc
fen themfdves neither infipid, nor
ofienfive ; fuch as Love, Honour,
Gallantry, Morality, News, Raille-
ry, and a numberlefs train of other
Things copious and diverting. Now
I can't fee the neeeilky of any other
Tongue befide our own to enable
us to talk .plaufibly, or judicioufly
upon any of thefe Topicks : Nay, I
am very confident that 'tis pofiibie
for an ingenious Perfon to make a
very confiderable progrefs in moft
parts of Learning, by the help of
Engliih only. For the only reaibn Qy fa t h-^
I can conceive of learning Langua-/"'^*^
1 o r tiT- 'o be ma it
ges, is to arrive at the Scale, Wit^, rr
or Arts, that have been communi- of '&>:
cated to the World in 'em. Now Bo °- ;
of thofe that have taken the pains
to make themfelves Mailers of thole
Treafures, many have been ib ge-
nerous as to impart a fliare of 'em
to the Publick, by Translations for
the ufe of the Unlearned; and I Hat-
ter my felf Ibmetimes, that leveral
of thefe were more particularly un-
dertaken
U* ]
jdertaken by Ingenious, good Na r
tur'd Mefi in Kindnefs and Com"
paffion to our Sex. But whatever
the Motives were, the obliging
Humour has fo far prevail'd, that
icarce any thing either Ancient or
Modern that might be of general
ufe either for Pleafure, or Inftru-
£tion is left untouched, and moft
of them are made entirely free of
our Tongue. I am no Judge ei-
ther of the Accuracy, or Elegance,
of fuch Performances ; but if I may
credit the report of. Learned and
Ingenious Gentlemen, ( whofe Judg-
ment or Sincerity I have no reafon
to queftion,) many of thofe excel-
lent Authors have loft nothing by
the change of Soil. I can fee and
admire the Wit and Fancy of Ovid
in the Tranflation of his Epiftles,
and Elegies, the foftnefs and Paf*
fion of TihulluSy the Impetuofity
and Fire of Juvenal, the Gayety,
Spirit and Judgment of Horace ;
who, though he may appear very
different from himfelf through the
diverfity, and inequality of the
Hands concern'd in making him
fpeak
[45]
fpeak Engtifh, yet may eafily be
guefs'd at from the feveral excel-
lent Pieces render'd by the Earl of
Rojcommon, Mr. Cowley, Air. Drj-
den, Mr. Congreve, Mr. Brown and
other ingenious Gentlemen, who
have oblig'd the Nation with their
excellent Verfions of fome parts of
him. Nor is it poilible to be in-
fenfible of the fweetnefs and Maje-
fty of Virgil, after having read
thofe little but Divine Samples
already made Publick in En$*
lifh by Mr. Dry den, which gives
us fo much Impatience to fee the
whole Work entire by that admira-
ble Hand. I have heard fome in-
genious Gentlemen fay, That it
was impoffible to do Juftice in
our Tp.igue to thefe two laft
Celebrated Roman Poets , and
and I have known others, of whofe
Judgments I have as high an Opini-
on, affirm the contrary ; my igno-
rance of Latin difables me from
determining whether we are in the
right, but the Beauty of what I
have already icen by the means of
tnofe Gentlemen, has fo far preju-
diced,
[44]
dic'd me in favour of the latter; that
might I have J em entire from the
fame hands, I think I fliou'd fcarce
envy thole who can tad the plea-
sure of the Originals. Nor is it to
the Poets only, that we (land in-
debted for the Treafure of Antiqui-
ty, we have no lefs Engagements to j
thofe, who have fucceisfully la-
bour'd in Profe, and have mads us
familiar with Flit arch, Seneca , Cicero,
and in general with all the famous
Philofophers, Orators and Hiflori-
aris, from whom we may at once
learn both the Opinions and Practi-
ces of their Times. AfTifted by thefe
helps, 'tis impoflible for any Woman
to be ignorant that is but defirous
to be otherwife, though file know
no part of Speech out of her Mo-
ther Tongue. But thefe are nei-
ther the only, nor the greatefl Ad-
vantages we have; all that is excel-
lent in Frame, Italy, or any of our
neighbouring Nations is now be-
come our own ; to one of whom, I
may be bold to lay, we are behol-
ding for more, and greater Improve-
ments of Convocation, than to all
Anti-
C 45 ]
Antiquity, and the learned Langua-
ges together. Nor can I imagine The name
for what good Reafon a Man skiil'd °f Uarn -,
in Latin and Greek, and versa mi y restrain-
the Authors of Ancient Times fhall ed t9the
be call'd Learned ; yet another who ^£
perfectly underflands Italian, French, and Gr'uk
Spanijh, High Dutch, and the reft of "^
the European Languages, is acquain-
ted with the Modern Hiftory of all
thofe Countries, knows their Poli-
cies, has div'd into all the Intrigues
of the feveral Courts, and can tell
their mutual Difpofitions, Obliga-
tions and Ties of Intereft one to a-
nother, ihall after all this be thought
Unlearned for want of thole t s o
Languages- Nay, though he be ne-
ver fo well vers'd in the Modern
Philofophy, Aftronomy, Geometry
and Algebra, he iliall notwithftan-
ding never be allow'd that honour-
ble Title. I can fee but one appa-
rent Reafon for this unfair Pro-
cedure; which is, that when about
an Age and an half ago, all the poor
Remains of Learning then in Being,
were in the hands of the School-
men;
C 46]
men ; they wou'd fuffer none to
pafs Mutter, that were not deeply
engaged in thofe intricate, vexatious
and unintelligble Trifles, for which
tjhemielves contended with i'o much
Noife and Heat ; or at lead were :
not acquainted with Plato and Ari->\
Jiotle, and their Commentators ; from
whence the Sophiftry and Subtle-
ties of the Schools at that time
were drawn. This Ulurpation was'
maintained by their Succellors, the'
Divines, who to this day pretend
almoft to the Monopoly of Learn*
ing; and though fome generous Spi-
rits have in good mealure broke'
die neck of this Arbitrary, Tyran-
nical Authority; yet can't they pre-
vail to extend the name of Learn-
ing beyond the Studies, in which
the Divines are more particularly
converfant. Thus you ihall have
'em allow a Man to be a w 7 ife Man,
a good Naturalift, a good Mathe-
matician, Politician, or Poet, but
not a Scholar, a learned Man, that ;
is no Philologer. For my part fl
think thefe Gentlemen have jutt in-
verted the ufe of the Term, andgi-
veal
[47]
yen that to the knowledge of words,
which belongs more properly to
Things. I take Nature to be the
great Book of Univerfal Learning,
which he that reads belt in all or
any of its Parts, is the greaceft
Scholar, the mod learned Man ;
and 'tis as ridiculous for a Man to
count himfelf more learned than
another, if he have no greater ex-
tent of knowledge of things, be-
caufe he is more vers'd in Langua-
ges ; as it would be for an Old
Fellow to tell a Young One, his
Eyes were better than his, becaufe
he Reads with Spectacles, the o-
ther without.
Thus, Madam, you fee we may ^u
come in Time to put in for Learn- Both the
ing, if we have a mind, without be fi hel * s
r p ; , ' to Conver--
falling under the Correction Qifoim.
Pedants. But I will let Learning
alone at prefent, becaufe I have
already banjuVd it ( though not
out of difrefpeit) from mix'd Con-
verfation ; to which we will re-
turn, and of which the grcateft
Magazines and Supports are Hill
w
[48]
in Referve. I mean the many ex-|
cellent Authors of our own Coun-
try, whofe Works it were endlefs
to recount. Where is Love, Ho-
nour and Bravery more lively re-J
prefented than in our Tragedies;!
who has given us Nobler, orju-4
iler Pictures of Nature than Mr J
Shakefpear ? Where is there a ten-1
dcrer PaiTion, than in the Maids!
Tragedy > Whole Grief is morel
awful and commanding than MrJ
Oiiyays ? Whofe Defcriptions morel
Beautifull, or Thoughts more Gal-1
lant than Mr. Dry dens ? When I fed
any of their Plays acled, my Pa£j
fions move by their Direction, myj
Indignation, my Companion, my J
my Grief are all at their Beck.]
Nor is our Comedy at all inferi-J
our to our Tragedy ; for., riot tol
mention thofe already nanfd fori
the other part of the Stage, who
are all excellent in this too, Sir
George E the trie and Sir Charles SeA
ley for neat Raillery and Gallantry
are without Rivals, Mr. Wkherle%
for ftrong Wit, pointed Satyr, foun
and uieful Obibrvations is bey on
Iml
E 49 J
Imitation ; Mr. Congreve forfpright-
ly, gentile, eafie Wit falls fhort of
iio Man. Thefe are the Mailers
of the Stage ; but there are others
who though of an i^iferiour Clafs;
yet deferve Commendation, were
that at prefent my Bufinefs. Nay,
even the worft of 'em afford us
fome diverfion ; for I find a fort of
foolifh Pleafure, and can laugh at
Mr. D- fs Farce, as I do at the
Tricks, and Impertinencies of a
Monkey; and was pleafed to fee
the humour and delight of the Au-
thor in Mr. H — — n s Eating, and
Drinking Play which I fancy'd was
written m a Victualling Houfe. la
fhort, were; it not for the too grea£
frequency of loofe Expreffions, and
wanton Images, I fhould take our
Theaters' for the bed Schools in the
World of Wit , Humanity , and
Manners ; which they might eafily
become by retrenching that too
great Liberty. Neither have the
Poets only, but the Criticks too
Endeavour'd to compleat us ; Mr.
Dennis and Mr. Rimer have by their
Ingenious, and judicious labours
E tatfgh?
[ 50 ]
taught us to admire the Beauties
as we ought , and to know the
faults of the former. Nor are we
lefs beholding to thefe for forming
our Judgments, than to thole for
raifing our Fancies.
Thefe are the Sources from whence
we draw our gayer part of Con-
verfation ; I don't mean in exclufi-
on to the other parts of Poetry, hi
mod of which ( as I have heard
good Judges fay ) we equal at leaft
the Ancients, and far furpafs all
the Moderns. I honour the Names,
and admire the Writings of Den-
ham * Suckling and D\wenanty I am
ravihYd with the Fancy of Cowley,
and the Gallantry of Waller* I re-
verence the Fairy Queer?, am rais'd,
and elevated with Taradife Lo/l,
Frih-ce Art hut ■ com p ofes a nd redu ces
me to a State of Yawning indifle-
rence/and Mr. iV—ftl—ys Heroicks
lull me to Sleep. Thus all Ranks and
Degrees of Poets have their ufe, and
may be ferviceable to fome body
or other from the Prince to the Pa-
ftry Cook, or Pad-beard Cox-ma-
ker.
[ 51 ]
ker. I fhould mention our Saty4
rifts , but it would be end lets
to delcend to every particular,
of thefe Mr. Oldham is admira-
ble, and to go no further, the ini-
mitable Mr. Butler will be an ever-,
lafting Teflimony, of the Wic of
his Age, and Nation, and bid e-
ternal defiance to the Wits of all
Countries, and future Ages to fol-
low him in a Path before untrackYi
Our Profe Writers, that are emi-
nent for a -gay Style and Iovial Ar-
gument, are lb many, that it would
fwell this Letter too much to name
'em, fo that I fliall only take no-
tice, that whoever can read with-
out Pleafure, or Laughter, The con-
tempt of the Clergy, and the fol-
lowing Letters and Dialogues by
the lame Author, or the facetious
Dialogues of Mr. Brown muft be
more vSplenetick than HeracUtus, or
more ftupid, than the Ais he laugh'd
at.
Nor are we lefs provided for the
ferious Part ; Morality has gene-
rally been die Province of our
E z Clergy
I 5* ]
Clergy who have treated of all parti
of it very largely with fo much
Piety, Solidity, and Eloquence,
that as I think I may venture to
fay, they have written more upon it
than the Clergy of all the reft of
the World ; fo I believe no Body
will deny that they have written
better. Yet I cou'd wifh, that our
Ingenious Gentlemen wou'd em-
ploy their Pens oftner on thefe Sub-
jects; becaufe the feverity of the
other's ProfeiTion obliges 'em to
write with an Air,- and in a Style
lefs agreable , and inviting to
Young People, Not that we are
without many excellent Pieces of
Morality, Humanity and Civil Pru-
dence written by, and like Gentle-
men. But it is the Excellence of
'em, and the ability of our Gentle,
men, which appears in the Spirit,
Wit, and curious Obfervations in
thofe Pieces, which make me defire
more of the fame Nature, Who can-
read the Effays of that Wonderful
Man my Lord Bacon, or the no lets
to be admir'd Sir Walter Rale/gh's,
or Mr. Oshorns advice to a Son,
the
f 51 ]
die Advice to a Daughter, Sir Wil-
liam Temple's, or Sir George Macken-
zie's Eflays, Sir Roger VEjlrange's
Eflay ( to which laft we are like-
wife oblig'd for an incomparable
Verfion of Seveca ) and abundance
of others, without wifliing for more
from the fame or the like hands?
Our Neighbours the French, have
written a great deal of this kind,
of the beft of which we have the
benefit in Englifb ; but more parti-
cularly the Mefficurs ,Montagne , Roche*
faucaut , and St, Evremcnt de-
ferve to be immortal in all Langua-
ges. I need not mention any more,
it is apparent from thefe that Wo-
men want not the means of being
Wife and Prudent without more
Tongues than one ; nay, and Learn-
ed too,if they have any Ambition to
fee fo.
The numberlefs Treatifes of An-
tiquities , Philofophy, Mathema-
ticks Natural, and other Hiftory
( in which I can't pals filently by,
that learned One of Sir Walter Ra-
leigh, which the World he writ of
E 3 can't
[54]
can't match ) written originally in,
or tranflated to our Tongue are
fufficient to lead us a great way
into any Science our Curioufity flia I
prompt us to* The greaceft dif-
ficulty we ftruggled with, was the
want of a good Art of FvCafoning,
which we had not, that I know or,
till that defect was iupply'd by the
greateit Mailer of that Art Mr.
Locke, whole Eflay on Human Un-
derflanding makes large amends for
the want of all others in that
kind
Thus Madam I have endeavour'd
to obviate all our Adverianes
Objections, by touching upon as
great a Variety of things relating
to the Subject as I conveniently
cou'd. Yet I hope I have troubled
you with nothing but what wqs
iiecellary to make my way clear,
and plain before me ; and I am apt
to think I have made it appear, that
nothing but difencouragement or an
Idle Uncurious Humour can hinder
us from Rivalling mod Men in the
knowledge of great Variety of
things,
[ 55 ]
things, without the help of more
Tongues than our Own ; which the
Men fo often reproachfully tell us
is enough. This Idlenefs is but
too frequently to be found among
us, but 'tis a Fault equally com-
mon to both Sexes. Thole that
have means to play the Fool all
their lives, feldom care for the
trouble of being made wife. We
arc naturally Lovers of our Eafe,
and have great apprehenfions of the
difficulty of things untry'd ; Etpeci-
ally in matters of Learning, the
common Methods of acquiring
which are fo unpleafhnt, and ui>
cafie. I doubt not but abundance
of noble Wits are flifflcd in both
Sexes, for want but of fufpecSing
what they were able to do, and
with how much facility. Experi-
ence fhews us every day Block?
heads, that arrive at a moderate,
nay fometimes a great Reputation
by their Confidence, and brisk atr
tempts which they maintain by
their Diligence ; while great Num-
bers of Men naturally more In-
genious lye neglected by, for
E 4 want
[ ft]
war>t of Induflry to improve,
or Courage to exert themfelves.
No Man certainly but wifhes he
had the Reputation in, and were
Refpedted and Efteem'd by the
World as he fees fomc Men are for
the Fruits of their Pens ; but they
are loth to be at the pains of an
Attempt, or doubt their fufficience
to perform j or what I believe is
moll: general, never to enquire fo
far into themfelves, and their own
Abilities, as to bring fuch a thought
into their Heads. This laft I fancy
is the true Reafon, why our Sex,
who are commonly charged with
talking too much, are Guilty of
Writing fo Jktle. I wifh they
would fliake of this lazy Defpon-
dence, and let the noble examples
of the defervedly celebrated Mrs.
Thilips, and the incomparable Mrs.
Behn roufe their Courages, and
fhew Mankind the great injuflice
of their Contempt. I am confident
they would find no fuch need of
jfjmrme ^ affiftance of Languages as is
cfiatine generally imagin'd. Thofe that
Pvww* * iavc of l ^ r Q -' tVn nccc * not § rafc
upon
[ 57 ]
ppon Foreign Stocks. I have of-
ten thought that the not teaching
Women Latin and Greek, was an
advantage to them, if it were right-
ly confider'd, and might be im-
proved to a great heigth. For
Girles after they can Read and
Write ( if they be of any Fafhion )
are taught fuch things as take not
up their whole time, and not be-
ing fuffer'd to run about at liberty
as Boys , are furnihYd among o-
ther toys with Books, fuch as Re-
mances, Novels, Plays aad Poems ;
which though they read carelefsly
only for Diverfion, yet unawares
to them, give 'em very early a con-
fiderable Command both of Words
and Senfe; which are further im?
prov'd by their making and receiv-
ing Vifits with their Morhers,
which gives them betimes the op-
portunity of imitating, converting
widi, and knowing the manner ,
and addrefs of elder Peribns. Thefe
I take to be the true Reaibns why
a Girl of Fifteen is reckond as ripe
as a Boy of One and Twenty, and
not any natural forwarcinefs ef
Ma-
Maturity as fome People \vc\\\$
have it. Thefe advantages t
ducation of Boys deprives the w of,
who drudge away the Vig< ir of
their Memories at Words, -i clefs
ever after to moft of them, and at
Seventeen or Eighteen are to be-
gin their Alphabet of Senfe, and
are but where the Girles were at
Nine or Ten. Yet becaufe they
have learnt Latin and Greek, re-
ject with Scorn all Fvvlijh Books
their beft helps, and lay afide their
Latin ones, as if they were alrea-
dy Maflers of all that Learning,
amj fo hoift Sail for the wide
World without a Compais to Steer
by. Thus I have fairly ftated the
difference between us, and can find
no fuch dilparity in Nature or E-
ducation as they contend for; but
we have a fort of ungenerous Ad-
verfaries, that deal more in Scan-
dal than Argument, and when they
can't hurt us with their Weapons,
endeavour to annoy us with flink
Pots. Let us fee therefore, Ma-
dam, whether we can't beat them
froni their Ammunition, and turn
their
[59
their own Artillery upon them $
for I firmly believe there is nothing,
which they charge upon us, but
may with more juflice be retorted
upon themfelves.
They tax us with a long Lift of
Faults, and Imperfections , and
feem to have taken a Catalogue of
their own Follies and Vices, not
\vi,h defign to correct them, but
to fhift of the Imputation to us.
There is no doubt, but particular
Women may be found upon whom
every charge may be juftified ; but
our Sex is not arrfwerahfe for
them, till they prove there are no
iuch Men, which will not be be-
fore Dooms-day. However, like ill
Neighbours -they bring the Dirt
out of their own Homes not out of
Neatnels, but out of Envy to their
Neighbours, at whole Doors they
lay it. But let them remove their
Follies as oft as they pleafe, they
are ftill as conftatE to them, as the
Needle to ihe North Pole , they
point them out which way foever
they move. Let us fee what theii
Quali-
[<5o]
Qualities are, they fo liberally bc-
ftow upon, and after fee how they
fit the Donours, and furvey 'em
in their proper Figures and Co-
lours. The moft familiar of thefe
are Vanity, Impertinence, Envi-
oufnefs, Diilimuiation, Inconflancy,
vanity. To begin with Vanity, it is a
Failing the greateft Part of Man-
kind are tinctured with, more or
lefs. For all Men are apt to flat-
ter themfelves with a Fancy, that
they have fome one or more good
Quallities, or extraordinary Gifts,
that raife 'em above the ordinary
Level of Men ; and therefore hug
and cherifh , what they think
valuable and fingular in 'erti. It is
never commendable, lometimes par-
donable , when the excellencies
are real , and it is moderate fo
much muft be allow'd to humane
frailty. It is ridiculous and intol-
erable when it is extravagant, mif-
plac'd, or groundlefs. It is very
injudicious, and makes men com-
monly dote on their Defeds, and
expofe
expofe their blemiflies by their
Fondnefs, which makes 'em more
remarkable by the care and orna-
ment beftow'd on 'em. Tt per-
fuades hard Favour' d and diftcrted
Fellows to drefs, and value their
Peribns, Cowards to pretend to
Courage, and provoke Beatings,
Blockheads to fet up for Wit, and
make themfelves ridiculous in Print,
Upftarts to brag of their Families,
and be reminded of the Garrets they
were born, and the Stalls they
were brought up in. In Women
the objed: of it is their Beauty,
and is excufable in thofe that have
it. Thofe that have it not may
be pardon'd, if they endeavour at
it ; becaufe it is the only undis-
puted advantage our Sex has over
the other, and what makes 'em
refpe&ed beyond all other Perfecti-
ons, and is alone ador'd. In Men
it has not only this Object, but
all thole before mention'd, and a
hundred other. Ic is admirably
feen in a Writing, reciting Fop Au-
thor, is in full Luflre in a Beau,
but its mod unlucky Profpcct is in
a
a Swaggering Coward, who is a
Fool beyond the Conviction of
tharaBer Smart. His Courage is like an
^f a Buiiy. Ague Fit, that leaves him upon a
Fright, and returns when he is
out of the reach of a Cudgel*
tie fpends much time in the Fen-
cing School, and Fights briskly
where there is no danger of Wounds
nor Smart. His Hands are inflru-
&ed, but his Heels do him all thq
Service. He is a nice obierver of
Punctilio's , and takes more Af-
fronts than are given him. He
draws firft, and runs ftrft, and if
ever he makes another Man run,
it is after him. He is a Pebble that
fparkles like a Diamond, but wants
hardncis. He talks perpetually of
what he will do, but thinks con-
tinually of what he fhall fuffcr. He
is often in Quarels, yet feldom in
Rencounters , and is glad of a
Challenge , that he may know
whom, and when to avoid. He
brings up the Rear at an Engage-
ment, and leads the Van in the
Retreat. Fie is a Man of much
Faiiion, but the moil predominant
[*3 ]
1 is his Fear. He offers affronts rea-
dily, but has too much honour to
juftifie them, and will fubmit to a-
ny terms of fatisfa&ion rather than
| cccafion Blood-fhed. He is fo full
of Courage, that it boils over when
there is no occafion, and his Sword
and Terfon are always at Leifure,
and at your Service, till you wane
them, and then to his great Trou-
ble P he is always indifpenfably en-
gag'd otherwife. He wears Red,
and a long Sword openly to mew
his Valour, and Mail, privately to
mew his Difcretion. He threatens
terribly, but he is like a Witch, if
you draw Blood of him, he has no
power to hurt you. No Man ihews
or boafts more of his Scars with
lefs Reafon. He fcorns to take a
blow in the Face, and a Back-piece
is as good to him as a whole lute
of Armour. He is at firft the Ter-
rour of all the Toung Bullies, at
laft their Maygame, and they blood
their Qui IJaiors upon him, as
they do young Beagles on a Hare,
Good ufage makes him inlblent,
but he fawns like a Spaniel mod
A
upon
6**1
upon thofe that beat him. When
he is difcover'd by all the reft of the
World, the Cheat paflcs ftill upon
himfelf, and he is pleas'd With the
terrible Figure he makes in his
Glafs, tho 1 he is ready to fliake at
his own Shaddow.
Harafter There are men of an humour dired:-
of a scotv \y oppofite to this, yet e'ry whit as
Mad, Foolifh, and Vain ;. thefe
are your Men of nice Honour,,
that love Fighting for the fake of
Blows, and are never well but when
they are wounded They are fevere
Interpreters of Looks,- are affronted
an every Face that don't pleafe 'em.
and like true Cocks of the Game
have a quarrel to all Mankind at
firft fight. They are pailionatl
Admirers of feared Faces, and dote
on a Wooden Leg. They ^receive
a Challenge like a Billet Douce,
and a home thruft as a Favour.
Their common Adverfary is the
Conftable, and their ufual Lodging
the Counter. Broken heads are a
dived! on, and ait Arm in a Scarfe
is a high fatisfadtion. They are fru-
gait
[# ]
gal in their expences with the Tay°
Jor, for they have their Doublets
pink* on their Backs, but they
are as good as an Annuity to
the Surgeon, tho' they need him
not to let 'em blood. Flanders is
their Miftrefs, and a Clap from
her carries 'em off the Stage. If
they return, an Hofpital is their
Pvetreat, or the Sheriff their Ex«
ecutoar. Thefe two, Madam, ate
trery different extravagances, and
very ftrange one's, yet they are
real, and iuch as appear every
day. But, what is moft to be won-
der'd at, arife both from the fame
Principle, and the fame miftaken
Notion, and are only differencd by
the diverfity of Tempers in Men.
The common Motive to both is;
Vanity, and they jointly concurr
in this Opinion, that Valour is the
rrioft eftimable, and moll: honourable
Quality, that Man is capable of; they
agree in a defire to be honour'd and
fear W ,but they differ in their methods
in perfuing this common End. The
one is naturally active, bold and
daring ; and therefore takes the
true cotirfe to arrive at it by fhew-
F ing
[66]
irig what he can do, by what he
dare fuffer, and his immoderate de-
fire and indifcretion fuller him to
know no bounds. The other is
mean Spirited and fearful, and feeks
by falfe Fire to Counterfeit a heat
that may pals for genuine to con-
ceal the Froft in his Blcod, and
like an ill A&or, over-does his Part
for want of underftanding it, which
'tis impoflible he lliou'd. Among
-peaceable Men, and thofe of his
own Temper he comes of with Co-
lours flying, and thofe are the Men
he wou'd be valiant amongft only,
cou'd he read Men's hearts. But the
firft Rencounter betrays the Afs
thro' the Lions Skin, and he is
Cudgel'd like an Afs in Spite of his
Covering. It is our happinefs Ma-
dam, that we lie under no manner of
Temptation from thefe two Vani*
ties, whereof one is fo dangerous,
ndicuhus. the other fo ridiculous. For all
humours that are forcYl againft the
natural bent of *our tempers mud be
lb. Nature is our bell guide, and
has fitted ev'ry Man for ibmethings
more particularly than others ; which
if
Imitation
[*7]
if they had the fenfe to profecute,
they wou'd at leafl not be ridicu-
lous, if they were not extaordi-
nary, But fo prevalent are our
Vanity, and this Apifli Humour of
Imitation, that we perfuade our
felves, that we mdy practife with
applaufe, whatever we fee .another
iuccecd in, tho' as contrary to the
intent of our Nature, as Dancing to
an Elephant; fofcme Men that talk
well of ferious matters, are fo
mov'd at the applaufe fome merry
Drolls gain, that they forget their
gravity, and aiming to be Wits, turn
Buffoons ; There are others, that
are fo taken with the actions and
grimace of a good Mimick, that
they fall prefently to making aw-
kard Faces and Wry Mouths, and
are all their lives after in a Vizor,
Maskt tlio' bare fae'd,
Thefe, and innumerable others
of the like Nature, are the leiTer
Follies of jMankind, by which
their Vanity makes 'em fit only
to be lauglfd at. There are o-
titers, who by more ftudied and
F % reib'd
[*« J
refin'd Follies arrive to be morQ
confiderable, and make a great
Figure and Party among their
Sex.
chattier Of the firft rank of thefe is the
of a Beau. Beau, who is one that has more
Learning in his Heels than his
-Head, which is better Cover'd
than filTd, His Taylor and his
Barber are his Cabinet Coun-
cel, to whom he is more behold-
ing for what he is, than to his
Maker. He is One that has tra-
veli'd to lee Falhions, and brought
over with him the newefl cut fuit,
and the prettied Fancy'd Ribbands
for Sword Knots. His beft Ac-
quaintance at Paris was his Dan-
cing Mafter,whom he calls the Mar-
quits, and his chief Vifits to the
Opera's. He has leen the French
King once, and knows the name
of his cheif Minifler, and is by
this fufFciently convine'd that there
are no Politicians in any other Part
of the World. His improvements
area nice Skill in the Mode, and a
high Contempt of his own Coun-
try
[tfp]
try, and of Senfe. All the know-
ledge he has of the Country, or
Manners of it, is in the keeping of
the Valet that followed him hither,
and all that he retains of the Lan-
guage is a few modifh words to lard
his difcourfe with, and fliew his
Breeding, and the names of his
Garniture. He fhou'd be a Philofo-
pher, for he ftudies nothing but
himfeif, yet ev'ry one knows him
better, that thinks him not worth
knowing. His looks and geftures
are his conftant Leflbn, and his
Glafs is the Oracle that refolves
all his mighty doubts and fcruples.
He examines and refrefhes his Com-
plexion by it, and is more dejected
at a Pimple, than if it were a Can-
cer. When his Eyes are fet to a
languifhing Air, his Motions all
prepaid according to Art, his Wig
and his Coat abundantly Powder'd,
his Gloves EiTenc'd, and his Hand-
kcrcher perfunid and all the reft
of his Bravery rightly adjufted, the
greateft part of the day, as well
the bufinefs of it at home, is over;
■tis time to launch, and down he
F 3 comes
[7o]
pomes, fcented like a Perfumers
Shop, and looks like a Veilel with
all her rigging under fail without
Ballaft. A Chair is brought with-
in the door, for he apprehends
every Breath of Air as much, as if
it were a Hurricane. His firft Ve-
fit is to the Chocolate Houfe, and
after a quarter of an Hours Com-
pliment to himfelf in the great Glafs*
lie faces about and falutes the Com-
pany, and puts in practice his Morn-
ings Meditations ; When he has
made his Cringes round, and play'd
over all his Tricks, out comes the
fiae Snujb Box, and his Nofe is Re-
gal'd a while : After this he begins
|o open, and ftarts fome learned
Arguments about the neweft Fa-
fliion, and hence takes occafion to
commend the next Man's Fancy i\\
his Cloths, this ufliers in a dif-
fourfe of the Appearance laft Birth
Night, or Ball at Court, and fo a
Critick upon this Lord, or that
Ladies Mafquing Habit. From
lience he adjourns to the Plaj-houje 9
where he is to be met again in the
fide Box,, from whence he makes
" his
[7i ]
his Court to all the Ladies in ge?
neral with his Eyes, and is parti-
cular only with the Orav$-Wench.
After a while he engages fome neigh-
bouring Vizor, and together they
run over all the Boxes, take to
Pieces every Face, examine every
Feature, pats their Cenfure upon
every one, and fo on to their Drefs ;
here he very Judicioufly gives his
opinion upon every particular, and
determines whofe Colours are well
chofen, whofe Fancy is neatefl, and
whofe Cloths fit with mod Air;
but in conclufion fees no Body corn-
pleat but himfelf in the whole
Houfe. After this he looks down
with contempt upon the Pit, and
rallies all the flovenly Fellows,
and awkard Beau's ( as he calls
them) of t'other End of the
Town, is mightily offended at their
ill fcented Snujk, and in fpight of all
his Fulvilio and EJfences> is overcome
with the {link of their Qordovant
Glomes. To clofe all, Madam, in the
Mask mull give him an account of
the Scandal of the Town, which
flie does in the Hiflory of abun-
' dance of Intrigues real or feign'd; at
F 4 all
[7*3
all which he laughs aloud and often,
not to fhew his fatisfadtion, but his
Teeth. She {hews him who is
kept by fuch a Lord, Who was
lately difcar^^fl)fuch a Knight,
for grantinnp^ours too indifcreet-*
ly to fuch a Gentleman : who has
latcdy been in the Country for two
dPmree Months upon extraordinary
Occafions. To all which he gives
great attention, that he may pafs for
a Man of Intelligence in ano-
ther Place. His next Stage is
Locket's, where his Vanity, not his
Stomach, is to be gratified with
fomething that is little and dear,
Quails and Ortalans are the meanefi
of his Diet, and a Spoonful of Green
Peafe at Cbrijlmafs, are worth to
him more than the inheritance of
the Felld where they -grow in Sum-
mer. Every thing falls in his E-
fteem, as it falls in price, and he
wou'd not fo much as tail: the
Wine, if the hard name, and the
high rate did not give it a reliih.
After a glafs or two, ( for a Pint
is his fBht ) he begins to talk of
his Intrigues, boafts much of the
favours he has receivVl., and fbews
count.
[73]
counterfeit Tokens, and in Con-
clufion, {landers fome Lady or other
of unqueftion'd Vertue with a par-
ticular fondnefs f , for him. His
Amours are all profound Secrets,
yet he makes a Confidence of 'em
to every Man he meets with. He
pretends a great reverence for the
Ladies, and a mighty tendernefs
of their Reputations ; yet he is
like a F/efb Flye, whatever he blows;
on is tainted. He talks of nothing
under Quality, tho' he never ob
tairVd a Favour, which his Man
might not have for half a Crown.
He and his Footman in this Cafe are
like Engli/b and Dutch at an Or-
dinary m Holland, the. Fare is the
fame, hut the Price is vaftly differ-
ent. Thus the Show goes forward,
till he is beaten for Trefpafles he
was never guilty of, and . fhall be
damn a for Sins he never Com-
mitted. At lait, with his Credit as
low as his Fortune he retires ful-
lenly to his Cloifter, the Kitigs-
Bench, or Fleet, and pa' _s the reft
of his days v^ Privacy, and Con-
temptation. Here, Mddaw> if you
pleafe
L 74 ]
pleafe wee'l give him one Vifit'
more, and fee the laft Aft of the
Farce-, and you fhail find him
( whole Sobriety was before a Vice,
as being only the Pimp to his
other Pleafures, and who fear'd a
lighted Pipe as much as if it had
been a great Gun levell'd at him )
with his Nofe Flaming, and his
Breath (linking of Spirits worfe
than a Dutch Tarpawl/ns, and fmok-
ing out of a lhort Pipe, that for fome
Months has been kept hot as con-
ftantly as a Glafs-Houfe, and fo I
leave him to his Meditation.
You wou'd think it yet more
flrange, that any one ihould be
Slovenly and Najly out of Vanity ;
yet fuch 'there are I can adureyou,
Madam, and cou'd eafily give a de-
fcription of 'em, but that fo foul
a Relation mud needs be Naufeous
to a Perfon fo Neat as your Self;
and wou'd be treating You as the
Country Squire did his Court Friend \
who when he had jliew'd him all
the Curiofities of his Houfe and
Gardens, carried him into his Hog-
fties.
[75]
fties. But there are more than e~
now to juftifie what I have faid of
the Humour of Diogenes, who was
as vain and as proud in his Tul,
as Plato coud be in the midft of
his fine Ferfian Carpets, and rich
Furniture. Vanity is only an Am-
bition of being taken notice of,
which fliews it felf varioufly accor-
ding to the humour of thePerfons ;
which was more extravagant in the
Anti-Beau y than in the Beau Fhi!<-
fopher. Vanity is the verieft Pro-
teus in the World, it can Ape Hu-
tnility, and can make Men decry
themfelves on purpofe to be Flat-
tered ; like feme cunning P readers
that cry up Mwtification and Self-
denial perpetually, and are pamper'd
all the while by the Zeal and at
the Charges of their Followers,
y/ho a;e affraid the good Man
fhou'd flarve himfelf. It is the
Bleffing of Fools, and the Folly of
Ingenious Men. For it makes thole
contentedly hngg themfelves under
all the lccrn of the World, and the
Indignities that are offer'd 'em, and
theie rcilieft and diflatisfied wittj
its
[76]
its applaufe. Both think the World
envious, and that their merit is
injured , and it is impoflible to
right either of 7 em to their Minds ;
for thofe have no title to the pre-
tence of merit, and thefe-notfo
much as they think they have.
Yet it is the Happinefs of the firft
that they can think themfelvcs ca-
pable of moving Envy ; for though
vanity* they commonly miftake the Deri-
t£** rion of Men, for their applaufe, yet
Men are ibmetimes fo ill Natur'd
as to undeceive 'em, and then it is
their Comfort, that thefe are en-
vious Men, and mifreprefent the
Worlds opinion of 'em. Cou'd
thefe Men be convinc d of their
miftake, I fee nothing that fliou'd
hinder them from being defperate,
and hanging or difpofing of them-
felves fome other fuch way. For
though a Man may comfort him-
felf under Afflictions, it is either that
they are undeferved,or if deferved,
that he fuffers only for Overfights,
or rafh Adts, by which the -wifeft
Men may be ibmetimes overtaken ;
i'hac he is in the main Difcreet and
Pru-
[77]
Prudent, and that others believe
him fo. But when a Man falls un-
der his own Contempt, and does
net only think himfelf not wife,
but by Nature made abfolutely in-
capable of ever becoming Wife, he
is in a deplorable State, and wants
the common Comfort, as well of
Fools, as Wife Men, Vanity ; which
in fuch a Cafe is the only proper
Mediatour of a Reconcilement. No
Quality feems to be more Provi-
dentially diftributed to every Man
according to his Neceillty ; for
thofe that have lead Wit, ought to
have the greateft Opinion of it ;
as all other Commodities are rated
higheft, where they are fcarceft.
By this means the level is better
maintained amongft Men , who,
were this imaginary Equality de-
ftroy'd, might be apt to reverence*
and idolize one another too much,
and forgetting the common Fate,
they are all Born to, pay Honours
too near divine to -their Fellow
Mortals. But as the humour of
the World now runs, this fort of
Idolatry is fcarce likely to come in-
to
tm
to Fafliion. We have too great
kn Opinion of our felves, to be-
lieve too well of any one elfe, and
we are iti nothing more difficult
than in points of Wit and Under-
standing, in either of which we ve-
ry unwillingly yield the Preference
to any Man. There is nothing of
which we affect to fpeak with more
humility and indifference than our
own Senfe, yet nothing of which
we think with more Partiality, and
Prefumption. There have been'
fome lb bold as to alTume the Tide
6f the Oracles of Reafon to them-
fclves, and their own Writings ; and
we meet with others daily, that
think themfelves Oracles of Wit.
Thefe are the moft Vexatious A-
nimals in the World, that think
they ha\e a Priviledge to torment
and plague every Body ; but thofe
moft who have the bed Reputati-
on for their Wit or Judgment ; as
Fleas are laid to moled thofe mod,
who have the tendered Skins, and
the fweeted Bloorl.
Of thefe the mod voluminous Fool
O Is me Fop Poet; who is one that
V- >#
Q
[79]
has always more Wit in his Pockets charatter
than any where elfe, yet feldom Qtt* Poaa
never any of his own there. Efofs
Daw was a Type of him; For he
makes himfelf fine with the Plunder
of all Parties. He is a Smuggler
of Wit, and fteals French Fancies
•without paying the cuftomary
Duties. Verfe is his Manufacture ;
For it is more the labour of his
Finger than his brain. He fpends
much time in Writing, but ten
times more in Reading what he has
Written. He is loaden confbmtly
with more Papers, and duller than
a Clerk in Chancery, and fpends
more time in Hearings, and AV-
hearings. He asks your Opinion,
yet for fear you ihou'd not jump
With him, tells you his own firft.
He defires no Favour, yet is dilap-
pointed, if he be not Flatter'd, and
is offended always at the Truth,
His flrfl Education is generally a
Shop, or a Count ing-Houje, where his
acquaintance commences with the
Bell-man upon a new Years day.
He puts him upon Intriguing with
£he MufeSy and promifes to Pimp
for
for him. From this time forward
he hates the name of Mechamck\
and refclves to fell all his ftock, arid
purchaie a Plantation in Parna$t*s\
He is now a Poetical Halerdajler
of Small Wares i and deals very
much in Novels, Madrigals, Rid*
dies, Funeral, and Love Odes, and
Elegies, and other Toyes from He-
licon, which he has a Shop ib Well
furniftf d with, that he tan fit you
with all forts and Sizes upon all
Occafions in the twinkling of an
Eye. He frequents Apollo's Ex-
change in Covent-Qarden, and picks
up the frefheft Intelligence what
Flays are upon the Stocks, or rea-
dy to bekuncrfd; who' have lately
made a good Voyage, who a faving
one only, and who have fufTer'd ai
Wreck in Lincoln s-Inn-Fei Ids, ot
Drury-Lane, and which are brought
into the Dock to be Careend and
fittsd for another Voyage. He
talks milch of Jack Dry den, and Will.
Wyderley, and the reft of that Set,
and pfotefls he ain't help having
lome refpeevt for 'em, becaufe they
have lb much for him, and his
Writings ;
[8i]
Writings ; other wife he cou'd fhe\?
'em to be meer Sots and Blockheads
that underfland little of Poetry, in
comparifon of himfelf ; but he for-
bears 'em meerly out of Gratitude,
and Companion. Once a Month
he fits out a fmall Poetical Smeck
ac the charge of his Bookfeller,
which he lades with French Plunder
few Vampt in Engtifh, fmall Ven-
tures of Tranjlated Odes , Elegies
and Epigrams of Young Traders,
3nd ballads with heavy Profeofhis
Own ; for which returns are to be
made t6 the feveral Owners in Te-
llers, or applaufe from the Prenti-
ces and Tyre Women that deal for
'em. He is the Oracle of thofe that
want Wit, and the Plague of thofe
that have it; for he haunts their
Lodgings, and is more. terrible to
em, than their Duns. His Pocket
fs an unexhauftible Magazine of
Rhime , and Novfenfe , and his;
Tongue like a repeating Clock with
Chimes, is ready upon every touch
to found to 'cm. Men avoid him
for the fame Reafon, they avoid
the Pillory, the fecurity of their
G Ears $ :
[ ** ]
Jiars ; of which he is as mercilefs a
Perfecutor. He is the Bane of So-
ciety, a Friend to the Stationers,
the Plague of the Prefs, and the
Ruine of his Bockfeller. He is
more profitable to the Grocers and
Tabaccomfts than the Paper Manufa*
tture ; for his Works, which talk
fo much of Fire and Flame, com-
monly expire in their Shops in Rak
pour and Swoak. If he afpire to
Comedy, he intrigues with fome cx-
periene'd bantje I of the Town, in or-
der to inftrud: himfelf in the hu-
mour of it, and is cullied by her
into Matrimony, and fo is furninYd
at once with a Plot, and two gocd
Characters, himfelf and his Wife,
and is paid with a Portion for a
Jointure in Partrajfys, which I leave
him to make his bell: of. "
I fhall not trouble you with any
vanity u- more Infiances of' the foQlifh vani-
mvtrfkL d ^ of Mankind . becaufe Lam af-
fraid I have been too large upon
that Head already. Not that I
think there is any Order or Degree
of Men, which wou'd not afford
many
t *i 1
many and notorious inftances for
our Purpofe. For as I think Vanity
almoft the Univerfal mover of all
our Actions, whether good or bad;
fo I think there are fear ce any Men
fo Ingenious, or fo Vertuous, but
fomething of it will fliine through the
greateft Part of what they do, let
them call never fo thick a Vail o-
ver it. What makes Men fo folia-
tous of leaving a Reputation be-
hind 'em in the World, though
they know they can't be affected
with it after D;ath, but this even
to a degree of Folly ? What elle
makes great Men involve themfelves
in the Fatigues and Hazards of
War , and intricate Intrigues of
State , when they have already
more than they can enjoy, but an
Itch of being talk'd of and remem-
bred, to which they facrifice their
prefent happinefs and repofe >
But I (hall carry thefe Confide-
rations no farther; becaufe I have
already fingled cut fome of thole
many whole Vanity is more extra-
vagant and ridiculous, than any our
6 % Sex
tmptrti
?ic?ice.
[ 84]
Sex is chargeable with, and tiiefe
flight Touches may ferve to let 'em
ice, that even the greateft, and
Wifeft are not wholely exempt, if
they have it not in a higher De-
gree, tho' they exercife it in things
more Popular, and Plaufible. I
hope therefore the burthen of this
good Quality will not hereafter be
laid upon us alone, but the Men
will be contented to divide the Load
with us, and be thankful that they
bear lefs than their Proportion.
Impertinence comes next under
Confederation, in whichlfhallbe as
brief, as I conveniently can, in
regard I have been fo long upon
the precedeing Head. Impertinence
is a humour of buiying our felves
about things trivial, and of no
Moment in themielvcs, or unfea-
fonably in things of no concern to
us, or wherein we are able to do
nothing to any Purpofe. Here our
Adverfaries intuit over us, as if
they had gain'd an intire Victory,
and the field were indisputable ;
but they fliali have ivj caufc for
Triunflliy
1 85 ]
Triumph, this is no Poft of fuch
mighty advantage as they fondly
perfuade themfelves. This Preemp-
tion arifcs from an Erroneous Con-
ceit, that all thofe things in which
they are little concern'd, or con-
fuked, are triffles below their care commonly
or notice, which indeed they are mifiakm.
not by Nature fo well able to ma-
nage. Thus, when they hear us
talking to, and advifing one another
about the Order, Distribution and
Contrivance of Houfhold Affairs ,
about the Regulation of the Family,
and Government of Children and Ser-
vants, the provident management of
a Kitchin, and the decent ordering
of a Table, the Suitable Matchi
}Hf
&>
and convenient difpofition of Furni
tare and the like, they prefently
condemn us for impertinence. Yet
they may be pleafed to confider,
that as the aiiairs of the World are
now divided betwixt us, the Dome-
flick are our fliare, and out of which
we are rarely fuffer'd to interpofe
our Szn\Q. They may be pleafed
to confider likewife, that as light
and inconfiderablc as thefe things
• G 3 feem,
[ «*]
feein, they are capable of no Ple$-
fures of Senfe higher or more re-
fin'd than thofe of Brutes without
pur care of 'em. For were it not
for that, their Houfes wou'd he
meer Bedlams, their moft luxurious
Treats, but a rude confiifion of ill
Digefted, ill mixt Scents and Reli-
ihes, and the fine Furniture, they
bcftow io much coft on, but an ex-
penfive heap of glittering Rublijh.
Thus they are beholding to us for
the comfortable Enjoyment of what
their labour or good Fortune hath
acquir'd or beftow'd , and think
meanly of pur care only, becaufe
they underfiand not the value of it.
But if we fhall be thought imperti-
nent for Difcourfes of this Nature,
as I deny not but we fometimes
juftly may, when they are unfe^-
fonable; what cenfurc muft thofe
Men bear, who are prcpetually
talking of Politicks, State Affairs
and Grievances to us, in which per^
haps neither they, nor We are much
concerned, or if we be, are not able
to propofe, much lefs to apply any
Remedy to 'em ? Surely thefe are
imp: r tin eai*
[ §7 ]
impertinent; not to call the Beau*
•or Poet after on the Stage again,
whofe whole Lives are one con-
tinued fcene of Folly and Imper-
tinence; let us make the beft of our
News Monger*
He is one whofe Brains having Gharati'er
been once over-heated, retain fome- °f* '-**£'*
thing of the Fire in 'em ever after. f-^ n . **
He miflakes his Pafiion for Zeal,
and. his Noife and Buttling, for
Services. He is always full of
Doubts, Fears, and Jealoufies, and
is never without fome notable Dif-
covery of a deep laid Defign, or a
dangerous Plot found out in a Meal
Tub, or Petticoat, He is a mighty
Liftner after Prodigies, and never
hears of a Whale, or a Comet, but he
apprehends fome fudden Revolution
in the State, and looks upon a
Groarung-hcara, or a fpeaking-kead ,
as fore-runners of the Day of r^g-
ment. He is a great Lover of the
King, but a bitter Enemy to all a-
bout him, and thinks it impoflible
for him to have any but Evil Counl
jdlors, and though he be very zea-
G 4 lous
[ 88 ]
Jous for the Government, yet he
never finds any thing in it but Grk?
Tances and Mi/carriages to deciain)
upon. He is a WelWiflher to the
Church, but he is never to be recon-
ciled to the Bijhops and Clergy, and
rails moft inveterately at the Acl of
Uniformity. He hates Terfecution
implacably, and contends furioufly
for Moderation, and can fcarce think
well of thz Toleration, becaufe it is
an .Ad: of the State. He profefles
llimfelf of the Church of England,
pretends to like the Worfhip of it,
but he goes to Meetings in fpighj:
to the Fcrfon of his Parifh. His Con-
jc/ence is very tender and fcrupn-
lous in Matters of Ceremony, but
it is as fteely and tough as Brawn
behind his Counter, and can di-
geft any Sin of Gain. He lodges
at home, but he lives at the Coffee?
houfe. He converfes more with
News Tapers, Gazettes and Votes\
than with his Shop Books, and his
conftant Application to the Puldick
takes him off all Care for his Private
Concern. He is always fettling the
Nation, yet cou'd never manage 'his
o\yq
[ *9]
own Family. He is a mighty Stick?
ler ar all Elections, and tho' he ha$
no Vote, thinks it impoflible any
thing fhou'd go right unleis he be
there 10 Bawl for it. Hisbufinefs is at
Home, but his thoughts are in Flan-
ders, and he is earneftly invefting
of Towns till the Sheriff's Officers be-
leaguer his Doors. He is bufie in
forcing of Count erfcarps, and ftonn-
ing of Breaches, while his Creditors
take his Shop by furprize, and make
Plunder of his Goods. Thus by
mending the State, He marrs his
own Fortme ; and never leaves
talking of the Laws of the Land, till
the Execution of 'em filence him.
This fort of Impertinents the
Cojfee-houfes are every day full of ;
nay, fo far has this contagious Im-
pertinence fpread it felf, that />/-
vate Houfes, and Shops, nay, the
Very Streets and Bulks are infeded
and pcfler'd with Politicks and
News. Not a Pot cou'd go glibly
down, or a flitch go merrily for?*
ward without Namur, a while ago;
'twas Sf/ce to the Porter's Ale, and
IVax
[ po ]
Wax to the Caller's Thread; the
one fufpended his Draught , and
the otlier his Awl to enquire what
was become of the Rogue, and were,
very glad to hear he was taken,
and expected no doubt he fliou'd
come over and make 'em a Holy-day
ac his Execution. They were migh-
tily rejoye'd at the Arrefting of the
jvtarefchal Boufjlers, and made no
queftion but they fhou'd fee him
amongft the reft of the Beafis at
Bartholomew Fair for Two Pence.
This Folly of the Mob was in fome
meafure_excufable, becaufe their Ig-
norance led 'em into an expectation
of feeing what had given the World
fo much Trouble. But thofe that
have better knowledge of things
have no fuch Plea, they ought to
have been wifer, than to have bu?
fied themfelves fo much and fo i
earneilly about affairs, which all
their care andSollicitude could have,
no more Influence .upon, than over
the Weather. 'Twas plealant to fee
what Shoals the report of the ar-
rival of a FIoll nd, or Flanders Mail*
brought to the Secretary's Oj/ce, the
i Fqji
t> ]
Pqfi 0?ce, and the Coffee-Houfe&j
every one Crowding to catch the
News firft, which as loon as they
had, they polled away like lo
many Exprefies to difperie it among
their Neighbours at more diftance,
that waited with Ears prickt up to
receive 'em, cr walk'd uneafiiy
with a Foolifh Impatience to and
from the Door, or Window, as if
their looking out fo often wou'd
fetch 'em the f boner. Moft Men m
their News are like Beau's in their
Diet, the worft is welcome while
'tis freili and fcarce, and the beft is
not worth a Farthing when it has
been blown upon; and commonly
they fare like Becuis, are fond of it
While 'tis young and infipid, and
ncglecT: it when 'tis grown up to its
full, and true relifli. No fooner is it
rumour'd that a Breach is made in the
Crtjtle Wall, or the White Flaj^ hung
out, but a Council of War is call'd
in every Offe* in Town; the
Wrench, and -£: tch Prints, their Intel-
ligencers are call'd for immediately,
and examin'd, and not a Shot is
ttion'd but they Hart as if vm
Ball
City Mili-
tia,
[ * ]
Ball whizz'd juft then by their Ears.
After this follows a ferious debate
about a general Aflault, and whether
they lhall dorm immediately, or
not ; who fhall begin the Attack ;
what Conditions fhall be granted
on Capitulation. The Caitle of
Namitr thus taken, or Surrender'd,
they proceed to take their Meafures,
and fettle the next Campaign, and
whatever harm we fuffer by thofe '
mifcheivous French in the Field,
they are fure to take fufficient Re-
venge, and pay 'emoffSwingingly
in the Coffee Jwufes: But as if this
were not enough, Our great-eft.
A&ions muftbe BufToon'd in Show,
as well as Talk. Shall Namur be ta-
ken and our Hero's of the City not
fliow their Prowefs upon fo great an
Occafion? It muft never be faid,
that the Coffee-houfes dar'd more than
Moor-Fields ; No, for the honour of
London, out comes the Foreman of
the Shop very Formidable in Buff
and Band i leers, and away he marches
with Feather in Cap, to the general
Rendezvous in the Artillery Grou
There theie terrible Mimicks of
Man
[93 ]
Mars are to fpend their Fury in
Noife and Smoke, upon a Namar
eredxd for that purpofe on a Mole-
/v//,and by the help of Guns and
Drums out-ftink and out-rattle
Smith-field in all its Bravery, and
wou'd be too hard for the greaceft
Man in all France, if they had him
but amongft 'em. Yet this is but
Skirmifliing, the hot Service is in
another Place, when they engage
the Capons and Quart Pots ; never
was Onfet more Vigorous, For
they come to Handy-Blows im-
mediately, and now is the real cut-
ting and flairiing, and Tilting with-
out Quarter, Were the Towns in
Flanders all wali'd with Beef] and
the French as good meat as Capons,
and dreii the fame way, the King
need never beat his Drums for Sol-
diers ; all thefe Gallant Fellows
wou'd come in Voluntarily, the
meaneft of which wou'd be able to
eat a Marefchal , and whom no-
thing cou'd oppofe in conjunction.
Nothing is more common, and
familiar than this fort of Impertin-
ence ;
[P4]
feftce; Mod Men wou'd have little
to do, did they*, bufie themieiveS <
about nothing, but what they un-
derftood, or were concerned in. A
Monkey is not liker a Man in his
Figure, than in his humour. Hnv
ready are all Mankind to cenfure
without Authority, and to give
advice unaskt, and without reafon.
They are very much miftaken, that
think this forwardneis to thruft
themlelves into other's affairs,fprings
from any Principle of Charity or
Tendcmefs fcr 'em, or the leaft Re-
gard to the Welfare of their Neigh-
bours. "Tis only a Vain Conceit
that they are wiier, and more able
to ad vile, which puts 'em upon en- j
gaging in things they have nothing
bffido't; ro c[ wit\h, and palling their Judg-
ments Magifterially on matters they
liave no Cognizance of, and gene* 'I
rally little Information, or Skill in..
They are defirous the World fliou'd
have as great an Opinion of 'em
as they have of themlelves, and
therefore impertinently interpoie
their own Authority and Senfe, tho
never fo little to the purpofe, only
to
Hitices.
[p>- ]
to fliew how well they cou d manage,
were it their Bufinefs ; thus they
advife without good intention, or
kindnefs, and cenfure without de-
fign, or malice to the Perfons coun-
fell'd, or reflected on, Thefe buz-
zing Infects fwarm as thick every
where, and are as troublefome as
Miiskettoes in the Weft-Indies*
They are perpetually in a hurry of
Bufinefs, yet are fore'd to rack their
Inventions to employ their Leifure.
They are very bufie for every Body,
and ferve no Body. They are al-
ways in haft, and think themielves
expected every where with Impati-
ence, yet ccme fooner alwayes ehan
they are welcome. They will walk
a Mile, and fpend an hour to tell
any one how urgent their Bufinefs
is, and what haft they are in to be
gone. Their Expedition is their
greateft Lofs, For Time is the only
thing that lies heavy upon their
hands. They are walking Gazette,
tliat carry News from one Neigh-
bour to another, and have their
Stages about the Town as regular
and certain, as a Penny Pcjtmav.
Every
[ 96 ]
Every Man is their acquaintaince 3 but
no Man their Friend. They drudge
for every Body, and are paid by no
ho Body, and tho' their Lives be
worn out in endeavours to oblige
all Mankind, when they die no one
regrets their Lofs, or miiles their
Service.
There are another fort of Ini-
tharaBer pertinents, who, as they mind not
of a vtrui- t j ie Buftnefs of other Men where it
concerns 'em nor, neglect it like^
wile where it does ; and amufe
themfelves continually with the
Contemplation of thofe things ,
which the reft of the World flight
as ufelefs, and below their regard.
Of thefe the moft Egregious is the
Firtmfo, who is one that has fold
anEftate in Land to purchafe one in
Scallop, Conch, Mujcle, Cockle Shells,
Periwinkles, Sea Shrubs, Weeds^
TUcffes, Sponges, Cora/Is, Corallineik
Sea Faris, Fellies, Muchafites and
flint ■ flones ; and lias abandon'd the
Acquaintance and Society of Men
Ibr that of Injects, Worms, Gruhhs,
Maggots, Flics, Moths s Locufts, Bee*
ties;
[P7]
ties, Spiders , Grajboppers, Snails >
§lizards and Tortoifes. His fludy is
like Noah's Ark, the general Ren-
dezvous of all Creatures in the t T -
nizerfe, and the greateft part of his
Moveables are the remainders of
his Deluge. His Travels are not
defign'd as Vifits to the Inhabitants
of any Place, but to the Pits, Shores
and Hills ; from whence he fetches
not the Treafure, but the Trumpe-
ry. He is raviuYd at finding aii
uncommon iliell, or an odd lhap'd
Stone, and is defpefately enamour'd
at firft fight of an unufual markt
Butter-flie, which he will hunt a
Whole day to be Mafter of. He
trafficks to all places, and has his
Cbrrefpondents in e'ry part of the
World ; yet his Merchandizes
ferve not to promote our Luxury,
nor encreafe our Trade, and nei-
ther enrich the Nation, nor him-
feif. A Box or two of Pebbles or
Shells, and a dozen of Wafps, Spi-
ders and Caterpillars are his Cargoe,
He values a Camelion or Salomon*
ders Egg, above all the Sugars and
Spices of the Weft and Eaft-indies,
H an.il
I 9* ]
and wou'd give more for the Shel*
of a Star-fijh 9 or Sea Urchin entire >
than for a whole D#ta& Herring
Fleet. He vifites Mines, Colepits,
and Quarries frequently, but not
for that fordid end that other Men.
ufually do, viz. gain ; but for the
fake of the foflile Shells and Teeth
that are iometimes found there.
He is a fmattcrer at Botany , but for
fear of being fufpedted of any ufe-
ful defign by it, he employs his
ciirioficy only about Moffes, Grajfes,.
Brakes, ThiJtleSy &c. that are not
accus'd of any vertue in Medicine,
which he diftinguiihes and divides
very nicely. He prefer ves careful-
ly thofe Creatures, which other Men
iiiduftrioufly deflroy, and cultivates
ieduloufly thofe Plants, which o-
thers root up as Weeds. He n the
Embaimer of deceas'd Vermin, and
drefies his Mummy es with as much
care, as the Ancient Egyptians did
their Kings. His Cafh con fills
much m old Coins, and he thinks
the Face of Alexander in one of 'em
worth more than all his Conquefts.
His Inventory is a hit of the In-
fers
[*9]
fe£ts of all Countries, and the Shells
and Pebbles of all Shores, which can
no more be compleat without two
or three of remarkable Signatures >
than an Apothecaries Shop without
a Tortoife and a Crocodile, or a Coun-
try Barter's without a batter'd
Cittern. A piece of Ore with a
Shell in ic is a greater Prefent than
if it were fine Gold, and a firing of
Wampompeag is receiv'd with more
joy, than a Rope of Orient Fear/, or
Diamonds wou'd be. His Collecti-
on of Garden Snails, Cockle Shells
and Fermine compleated^ ( as he
thinks ) he fets up for a Philofc-
phcr, and nothing lefs than Univer*
fal Nature will ferve for a Subje&%-
of which he thinks he has an en-
tire Hiflory in his Lumber Office.
Hence forward htftruts and five lis *
and defpifes all thofe little insigni-
ficant Fellows, that can make no
better ufe of thofe noble inconte-
stable Evidences of the Univerfai
Deluge, Scallop and Oyfler Shells,
than to flew Oyflers, or rn^lt Brim*
flone for Matches. By this time he
thinks it necefiary to give the
K 2 World
£ too a
World an Effay of his Parts, that it
may think as highly of 'em ( if po-
ffible ) as he does himfelf; and find-
ing Mojes hard befet cf late, here*
folves to give him a lift, and de-
fend his Flood, to which he is fo
much oblig'd for fparing his dar-
ling Toys only. But as great Ma-
tters life, he corrects him iometimes
for not fpeaking to his Mind, and
gives him the lie now and then in
order to fupport his Authority. He
fhakes the World to Atoms with
eafe, which melts before him as
readily as if it were nothing but a
Ball of Salt. He pumps even the
Center, and drains it of imaginary
ftores by imaginary Loopholes, as
if punching the Globe full of holes
cou'd make his Hypothecs hold
Water. He is a Man of Expediti-
on, and does that in a few days,
which coft Mojes fome Months to
cofnpleat. He is a PafTionate Ad-
mirer of his own W r orks witlu lit a
Rival, and fiipercilioufly contemns
all Ayijivers, yef the leaft Objeilrtifk
throws him into the Vapours. He
i$ts up for a grand Fkilojofher, and
palms
[ 101 ]
palms Hypothefes upon the World,
which future Ages may ( if they
pleafe ) expecl: to hear his Argu-
ments for ; at prefent he is in no
humour to give 'em any other fa-
tisfa&ion than his own word, that
he is infallible. Yet thole that have
a Faith complacent enough to take
a Gentleman's word for his own
great Abilities, may perhaps be ad-
mitted to a fight of his grand De-
monstration, his Raree Show; the
particulars of which he repeats to
'em in a whining Tone, e'ry whit as
formal and merry, though not fo
Mufical, as the Fellows that ufed
formerly to carry theirs at their
Backs. His ordinary difcourfe is
of his Travels under Ground , in
which he has gone farther ( if he
may be believ'd ) than a whole
Warren of Conies. Here he began
his Collection of Furniture for his
Philofophical Toy Shop, which he
will conclude with his Fortune,
and then like all Flefh revert to the
place from whence he came, and be
tranflated only from one Shop to
another.
H 3 This,
[ l°? ]
This, Madam, is another fort of
Impertience our Sex are not liable
to ; one wou'd think that none but
Mad Men, or highly Hypochondria-
cal, cou'd employ themfelves at this
rate. I appeal to you, or indeed
to any Man of Senfe, whether ads
like the wifer Animal ; the man that
with great care, and pains diftin-
guiflies and divides the many Vari-
eties of Grafs, and finds no other
Fruit of his labour,than the charging
of his Memory with abundance of
fuperfluous Names ; or the Afs that
eats all promifcuoufly, and without
diflinCtion,to fatisfy his Appetite and
fupport Nature. To what purpofe
is it, that theft Gentlemen ranfack
all Parts bdth of Earth and Sea to
procure thefe Tr/ffles> It is only
that they may give their Names to
fome yet unchriften'd Shell or Infedfc.
I know that the defire of knowledge,
and the difcovery of things yet un-
known is the Pretence; But what
.viedge is it? What Difcoveries
do w 7 e owe to their Labours ? It is
only the Difcovery of fome few un-
heeded Varieties of Plants, Shells,
[ ro 5 ]
or Infe&s, unheeded only becaufe
I ufeleis ; and the Knowledge, they
boaft fo much of, is no more than
a Regifter of their Names, and
Marks of Diftindtion only. It is
enough for them to know that a
Silk Worm is a fort of Cater 'filler ,
that when it is come to maturity
Weaves a Web, is metamorphos'd
to a Moth-Flye, lays Eggs, and fo
Dies. They leave all further en-
quiry.' to the Unlearned and Me-
chanicks , whofe bufinefs only
they think it to profecute matters
of Gain and Profit. Let him con-
trive, if he can, to make this Silk
ferviceable to . Mankind ; their Spe-
culations have another Scope, which
is the founding fome wild, uncer-
tain, conjectural Hypothefi?, which
may be true or falfe ; yet Mankind
neither Gainers nor Lofers either
way a little in point of Wifdom or
Convenience. Thefe Men are juft
the reverfe of a Rattle Snake, and
carry in their Heads, what' he does
in his Tail, and move Laughter ra-
ther than Regard. Whatj improve-
ments oiPhyfick, or any ufeful Arts,
H 4 what
E 1*4 ]
what "noble Remedies, what fej>
viceable Inftruments have thefe
Mujhrome, and Cockle Jbell Hunters
oblig'd the World with ? For I am
ready to recant if they can fliew fo
good a Mcd'cine as Stew'd Prunes,
or fo necelTary an Instrument as a
Flye Flap of their own Invention and
Difcovery. Yet thefe are the Men
of exalted Underftandings, the Men
of elevated Capacities, ^nd fublime
Speculations, that Dignifie and Di-
itinguifh themfelves from the reft of
the World by Specious Names, and
Pompons Titles, and continue not-
withftanding as very Replies m
Senfe, as thofe they converfe fo
piuch with.
I wou'd not have any liody mi*
ftake me fo far, as to think I wou'd
in the lead reflect upon any fincere,
and intelligent Enquirer into Nature,
of which I as heartily wiih a better
knowledge, as any Vertuofo of 'em
all. You canbemy Witnefs,M7^7w,
that I us'd to fay, I thought Mr.
Boyle more honourable for his learn-
ed Labours, than for his Ncbie
Birth:
[ io 5 ]
Birth ; and that the Royal Society,
by their great and celebrated Per-
formances, were an Illiiftrious Argu-
ment of the Wifdom of the Augufl
Prince, their Founder of happy Me*
rnory ; and that they highly meri-
ted the Ejleew, Rejpeft and Honour
paid 'em by the Lovers of Learning
all Europe over. But tho' I have
3 very great Veneration for the
Society in general, I can't but put a
vafl: difference between the particu-
lar Members that compofe it. Were
Supererogation a Doclrine in Fa-
iliion, 'tis probable fome of 'em
might borrow of their Fellows
merit enough to juflifie their Arro-
gance, but alas they are come an
Age too late for that trick; They
are fallen into a Faithlels, Incredu-
lous Generation of Men that will
give credit no farther than the
vifible Stock will extend ; And tho*
a Vertuolo fhould fwell a Title-
Page even till it bnrft with large
Promiies, and foaorous Titles, the
World isfo ill nattif'd as not to think
a whit the better of a Book for it.
*Tis an ill time to trade with irn-
plicite
[io5]
plicire Faith, when fo many have |
fo lately been broken by an over-
flock of that Commodity ; no fooner |
now a days can a Man write, or
(teal an Hypothecs, and promiie
Demonftration for it hereafter in
this or the next World; but out
comes fome malicious Anfwer or
other, with Rcafons in hand againft
it, overthrows the credit of it, and
puts the poor Author into Fits.
For though a great Philofopherthat
has written a Book of three Shillings
may reafonably infult, and de r pife
a fix penny Anfwer, yet the Indig-
nity of fo low prie'd a Refutation
wou'd make a Stoick fret, and Frisk
like a Cow with a Breeze in her
Tail, or a Man bitten by a Tar aim
tula. Men meafure themielves by
their Vanity, and are greater or lefs
in their own Opinions, according to
t;he proportion they have of it ; if
they be well ftock'd with it, it may
be eafie to confute, but impofllble
to convince 'em. He therefore that
wou'd fet up for a great Man,ought
jfirfl to be plentifully provided of
i:, and then a Score of Cockle She
a
■ [ 107 ]
a dozen of Hodmcwdods, or any
Trime eiie is a iufficient Foundation
to build a Reputation upon. But
if a Man {hall abdicate his lawful
Calling in pure affection to thefc
things, and has for fome years fpent
all the Time and Money he was
Ma-(ler of in profecution of this
Paihon, and lhall after all hear his
[Caterpillars -affronted, and his But-
Iter-fties irreverently fpoken of, it
mull be more provoking to him,
•than 'tis to a Lion to be puli'd
jby the Beard. And if, when to
ij crown all his Labours, he has c!if-
I cover d a Water fo near akin to
the famous one, that cou'd be kept
in nothing but the hoof of an Als,
that it was never found but in the
Scull of "the fame Animal-, a Water
that makes no more of melting a
\iVorld, than a Dutchman does of a
II Ferkin of Butter ; and when he has
j written a Book of Difcoveries, and
i Wonders thereupon, if ( I fay ^the
'Impertinent Scriblers of the Age,
will (till be demanding Proofs and
writing
Anfn
ers,
he
has
reafon; to
prow clown
his
in a rage, and
proaounc-s
[ io8]-
pronounce the world, that cou'd
give him fuch an interruption, un->
worthy to be bled with his future
labours, and breath eternal Defiance
to it, as irreconcilable, as the quar-
rel of the Sons of Oedipus. To
which prudent Refolution, let u$
leave him till he can recover hj$.
Temper.
Thefe In (lances, Madam , will'
( I hope ) fuffice to (hew that Men.
are themielves altogether as imper r
tinent, as they malicioufly miire-
prcfent us. It is not for want of,
plenty of others that I content my
felf with thefe ; but I am not will-
ing to trouble you with any of an
inferiour Character. Thefe are all
impertinents of Mark and Note, and
have feverally the good fortune tcr
find crowds of Fools of their own
Sex to applaud and admire them.
Imper thence is a failing, that has
its Root in Nature ; but is not worth
Laughing at, till it has received the
finiiliing flrokes of Art. A Man
through natural defers may do,,
abundance cf incoherent, fooliih
Actions,
[ m 1
I Anions , yet deferve CcMpajfwti
land Advice rather than Derifion:
But to fee Men fpending their For-
I tunes, as well as Lives, in a courfe
of Regular Folly , and with an in-
duftrious, as well as expenfive I-
dknefs running through tedious
■ Syflems of impertinence, wou'd have
jfplit the fides of Her adit us 9 had it
been his fortune to have been a
' Spe&ator. 'Tis very eafie to de-
cide which of thefe Impertinent s is
die mod fignal ; xWzVertuofo is ma-
nifeflly without a Competitour. For
I our Follies are not to be meaiur'd
I by the degree of Ignorance, that ap-
pears in 'em, but by the Study,
Labour and Expence they coft us
to finilli and compleat 'em. So that
the more Regularity and Artifice
diere appears in any of our Extra-
vagancies, the greater is the folly
| of em. Upon this Score it is, that
the laft mentioned defervedly claim
the preference to all others ; they
have improvd fo well their Amufe-
ments into an Art, that the Credu-
lous and Ignorant are indued to be-
lieve there is feme fecret Vertue,
feme
[no]
fome hidden Myftery in thofe dar-
ling toys of theks ; when all their
Buttling amounts to no more th
learned Impertinence, ( for lb they
abufe the Term ) and all they teach
Men is, but a fpecious expensive
method of throwing away both
Time and Money.
I intend not in what remains to
trouble you with any more fuch in-
flances ; becauie I am fenfible thefe
have already fwell'd this Letter to
a Voluniriy which was not at firft my
intent. I fhall therefore difpatch
the remaining part of the charge in
as few Words as poflible. Amongft
n-!Vw< : !«- the reft Diffimulation is none of the
Tc^ar™ icaft Blem'ifl:es, which they endea-
vour to fix upon us. This Quali-
ty, though it can't upon any oc-
cafion deierve the name of a
Vertue , yet according to the
pr^fent Conftitution of the World,
is many times abfolu'tcly neceflarVj
and is a main ingredient in the
Composition cf Human Prudence.
h is indeed oftentimes criminal,
but it is only accidentally fo, as In-
dullrjr
[ <" ]
duftry,' Wit, and moft other good
Qualities may be, according, to the
Ends and Purpoles to which they
are mifemploy'd. Diflimulation is
nothing but the hiding or difguifing
our fecret thoughts, or Inclinations
tinder another appearance. I fhall
I not endeavour to abfoive our Sex
j wholly from all ufe of this Quality ,or
j Art ( call it which you pleafe ) be-
Lcaufe I think it may upon many
jocficaons be uied with Innocence
J enough, and upon ionic can't with-
out great Imprudence bz omitted.
The World is too full of Qmft^ flh*
lice, and Violence, for abfolute >
pl'icity' to live in it. It behoves
therefore our Sex as well as the c-
ther to live with fo much Caution,
andCircumfpedion in regard to their
own Security, that their Thoughts
and Inclinations may not be lien
m naked, as to expofe 'em to the
Snares, defigns, and practices of
Crafty Knaies, who wou'd make a
property of 'em ; or lay 'em open to
the wicked Efforts, and mifchievous
Impreffions of Envy, or Malice,
w lipfc ploafure fprings from the hurt
of others. Nothing gives our Ad-
veriaries fo great an advantage over
us, as the knowledge of our Opin-
ions, and Affe&ions, with fome-
thing agreable to which they will
be fure to bate all their Traps and
Devices. For this reafon it is that
it has been Proverbially faid of
Old, that, He that knows not hew to
Aiffemble , knows not how to Vive:
The Experience of all Ages fmce
has confirmed this Observation,
and ours no lefs than any of the
Preceding. This premis'd, I flip-*
pole no Wife Man Will blame our
Sex for the uie of anArt lo neceflary,
to preferve 'em from becoming a
Prey to every defigning Man, an'
Art of which himfelf muft make
great ufe to defcrve that Title. Yet
I am afraid, that upon enquiry our .
Sex will not be found to have fo
much of it as is requifife, at lea ft
not generally; Our fedentary Life,
add' the narrow Limits to which our
Acquaintance , and Bufmefs are
Circumfcrib'd, afford us fo little Va-
riety, lb regular a Face of things,
that we want the means of obtain-
ing
[ lis ]
ing the Mailer of fo ufeful an Art*
which no queftion but we Jhou'd as
foon acquire as Men, had we but
equal Opportunities. Hence it is
that Women are more apt to fhow
their Refentments upon all Provocati-
ons than Men ; and are thought na-
turally more Teevifh and Captious,
by tlioie that apprehend not the true
reafort ; Whereas Men are altogether
as Stomachful, and take Offence as
foon, but they cover and fupprefs
their Indignation better, not with
a defign to forget any Injury re-
ceiv'd, but to wreak their Revenge
more covertly and effectually. This
is another advantage Men derive
from liberty of-Converfation and
j>romifcuous Bufinefs, wherein the
Variety of Contingencies they have
to provide agamft, and the Diver-
fity of Tempers they deal with,
force 'em to turn and wind them-
felves into all Shapes, and accom-
modate themfelves to all Humours.
There is indeed yet a higher fort of ■
Dijfi mutation, which is always Cri- oiflimufa.
winal, that is when Men not only thn wh < n
doud their real Sentiments and. j n . c * 772 ' /w -
I tendons
[ "4 ]
tentions, but make ProfeiTion of
and feem zealoufly to affecT: the con-
trary ; this by a more proper and
reftrain'd Name is cali'd Dcceipt,
and is always us'd in an ill Senfe.
This Art is moft pradtic'd in Courts
where Politic, and Amhtion reign ;
there You may fee Enemies hugging
and carefiing one another with all
outward ExpreJJions of Tendernefs
and Friend [flip imaginabe , while
they are fecretly contriving each
others mine. There you may fee
Men cringing to thofe, they wou'd
Spurn if they durft, and Flattering
tnofe they defpife and rail at behind
their Backs, The Court is a place
where we come very rarely other-
wife than as Spectators, not as Act'
ours ; as Ornaments, not as Inftru-
' merits \ and therefore are feldom
■involv'd in the guilty Piaclices of
it. Nor is it the Court only, but
all Places are infected with this Vice,
where there is any Encouragement
of Profit or Pleafure to be hop d-
from fuccefsful Treachery, of which
no Place is fo barren as not to afford
ibme. This D:-ceipt is lb far from
being
[
»y ]
being the Vice of our Sex, that they
are the common Object en which it
is daily pra&ic'd : Nothing is more
frequently met with than falfe Love Falfe z*M
in Men, which is now grown &!*"%#
o pv stela a,
familiar, that a Company of Six of
both Sexes can fcarce meet, but a
Sham Pajjlon commences immedi-
ately, is urg'djprotefted, and fworn
to be real with all imaginable Vio-
lence. If thefe falfe Arts, mock
fighing, and Dying prevail upon
any foolifh, eafie, credulous Woman,
the Sham Lover is blown up widi
the Succefs, he is big and in La-
bour till he bedeliver'd of the Secret,
which with great fatisfa&ion he
proclaims in all Places where He
comes : 'tis his higheft Exploit of
Gallantry > which he will by no
means lofe the credit of. Thus he
thinks her mine a ftep to Reputa-
tion, and founds his own Honour
upon her Infamy. This Madarn is
the bafeft of Treachery ; for they
are not fatisfied with the Suc-
cefs of their falfe Promifes, and
Oaths, but they intuit over the weak-
nefs of a too fond Woman , and 7/v-
I % uwfh
i ntf ]
umph in her Dilhonour. I am forry
there are any Women fo fooliih and
forward, as to give hopes and en-
couragement to filch ungenerous
Fellows ; yet we may be afTur'd,
that they are not a quarter fo many
as thofe vain Boafters woii'd make
'em. Much more be faid on this
head, but that I think it high time
to pafs on to the next, which is
Envicufnefs, fo foul a Blot to a fair
Chara&er, that no Merit can wafli
it out, or atone fufficiently for
it.
Envy is the Parent of Calumny,
and the Daughter of jealoujie . Men
feldom envy others, till they fear'
Envhufncfs bdn g 0Ut ftri p' d h Y ' Cm in FortlUlC
or Reputation. It is the mod
criminal, becaufe the moft injurious
to Vertue, and worth of all our
natural Failings, againft which it's
Malice is generally bent. This
vice and Jea/oufic leem to be more
particularly hated of Providence than
any other ; For they carry their
Puniiliment inicparably along with
'em, The Envious and the Jealous
need
[ M7,]
need no other Tormentours than
their own Thoughts. The Envious
Man mines his own to difturb ano-
thers Tranquillity, and lacrifices
his own Happinefs and Repofe to a
perverfe Defire of troubling his
Neighbours. He feeds like Toads
upon the Venome of the Earth, and
fucks in Scandal greedily, that he
may at Pleafure difgorge it to the
greater annoyance of other Men.
His mind has the Vapours, a Sweet
Report of an y one throws it into
Convulfions, and Agonies, and a
.foul one is the Releif and Refrefh-
ment of it. A wholeibme Air free
from the Blafts of Detraction and
Slander is as certainly pernicious to
him, as Ireland to Frogs and Toads.
This Vice is generally difclaim'd by
both Sexes, yet generally pra&icd
by both. Men love as little to have
their Reputation as their Chimneys
over-topt by their Neighbours ; For
they think by that means their names
become dark,as theirHouiesdo fmoa-
ky by the other : Yet thro' a lazy
Malignity had rather pull the other's
down to their Level, than build
1 3 their
[ «i8 ]
their own up higher. This Humour
prevails indeed, yet not in equal
Meafure in both Sexes. For as we
have confcfledly lefs Ambition, fo
have we apparently lefs of this Poi-
lon wbicfi ufually attends it, and
ariies From a felf Interefted Princi-
ple, which makes 'erh endeavour by
bafe finifter means to level that
Merit which they think flands in
their way to Preferment, and which
they defpair of being able to fur-
niount by honourable attempts. Fcr
what nc^d any one uie bale Sleights
to flop the Man, whom by fair
Speed he thought he cou'd overtake.
No foor.e; is any Man rais'd to any
Eminence in the World, but half
the Sex at lead join in Confederacy
to raife a Battery of Scandal againft
him, to bring him down again.
Honour is the Pillory of great
Defert, whither a Man is no fooner
rais'd, but the vile Rafcally infer t-
our Croud gather immediately toge-
ther, to throw Dirt at him, and make
that which was intended as a Grace,
and Reward, but a more honourable
Pimifhment. Our Sex feklom ar-
rive
[ up]
rive -to this Pitch of Envy, our
Ambition is more bounded, and our
Defires fooner fatisfied. Hence it is
that we are lets troubl'd at the Prof-
perity of others ; for not giving our
ielves the Liberty of aiming at things
far out of our Power, they are the
fooner compais'd, and we the fooner
at Eafe. He, that thinks himfelf
Happy, is incapable of Envying
another's Felicffy, fince he fees him
poflefs'd of nothing which either he
has not or defpifes not. Yet it mud
be confeiVd that the leiTer Piques,
and Grudgings are daily to be met
with among us, but no lefs among
Men. What is it that (pawns daily
fuch Fryes of Satyr ifts without Wit,
and Critkks without Judgment, but
this humour of carping, and nib-
bling at the Reputation of others I
But they are generally abundantly
furniflit with Impudence, a good
Quality that commonly fupplies
largely the want of all other.
A Critkk of this fort is one that oflchy
for want of Wit fees up for .JuJgr Critick
inent\ yet he has fo much Ambition
I 4 to
[ 120 ]
%o be thought a Wit, that he let?
jiis Spleen prevail againft Nature, and
turns Pcet. In this Capacity he
is as juft to the World as in the o-
ther Injurious. For as the Critick
vvrong'd ev'ry Body in his Cenfure,
and fnarl'd, 3nd grin'd at their
Writings, the Poet gives 'em Oppor^
punity to do themfelves Juftice, to
return the Compliment and laugh at
or defpife his. He wants nothing
but Wit to fit him for a Satyrifl, yet
he has Ga//znd Vanity enough to dife
pence with that Want, and write
without it. His works are Lilclls
upon cthers,but Satyrs upon himfelf>
and while they Bark at Men oi' Wit,
call him Fool that writ 'em. He
takes his Malice for a Mufe, and
thinks himfelf infpir'd when he is
only PcJfefsJ, and blown up with
a Flatus of Envy and Vanity. His
great helps to Poetry are Crambo ,and
Arithmetic}:, by which he afpires to
Chime, and Numbers, yet miilakes
frequently in the tale of his Fingers.
He has a very great Antipathy to
his own Species, and hates to fee a
fool any where bat in his Glafs.
For
[ *ml
For ( as he fays ) they Provoke him
And offend his Eyes : He Follows 'em jth. satyrj
as a Dog perfues his Prey, and barks b lP oileati
tvhe/iere He/mells 'em in his way : He
knows, to jay no wore xhztWit is fear re,
to gingle out a Rhime, or tag a Verfe :
Or Cobble wretched Profe to numerous
Lines ; There if he has a Genius there
it jbines. His Fund of Criticifm is
a Set of Terms of Art pickt out of
the French Cri ticks, or their Tran-
slators ; and his Poetical (lock is a
Common Place of certain Forms ani
Manners of ExprefTion. He writes
better in Kerje than Profe; For in
that there is Rhime, in this neither
Rhime nor Reafon, He talks much of
the Naivete of his Thoughts, which
appears fufficiently in the Dullnefs of
'em ; yet nothing but the Fhlegma-
tick, Spiritlefs Air is his own. He
rails at Mr. Oldham for want of
Breeding and good Manners with-
out a grain of either, and fteals his
own Wit to befpatter him with,
but like an ill O.ymift, he lets
the Spirit flie of in the drawing
over, and retains only the Phlegm,
He cenfures Mr. Cowley for too
much
[ I22 ]
much W/t, and corre&s him with
none. The difference between Mr.
Cowley and him is this ; the one
has too much Wit, and too fine for
the Standard ; the other not enough
to blanch hisbafe Metal, or cover
the Brafs of his Counterfeits. To
compieat himfelf in the Formalities
of Parndjfys, he falls in love and
tells the World, it is oblig'd to his
Tajfwn for his Poetry, but if his
Miftrefs prove no more indulgent
than his Mufe y his Amour is like to
conclude but unluckily. For if his
Love be no warmer than his Lines,
his Corlnna may play with his
Flame without danger of Burning.
He pretends to have written only,
his fincereft Thoughts ; I don't
know how well hisMiftrefs may take
that from the Lover, but I dare
fwear the World did not expedt it
from the Poet. He is happieft at
the Pidture of a Rhiming Fool, for he
need only to look in his Glals, and
he may Copy a Country Wit from
the City Original. If this Rhiming
Humour lafls, there's a good Sugar*
Joiler lpoii'd for an ill Feet; yet for his
€omfort,TimeJmprovement ; and t\\ o
or
[ 1*3 3
or three Bocks more may raife him
to Rival E — £ — and fing London^
Triumphs, to the Envy of Tom Jor-
dan of happy Memory.
You may wonder, Madam, why
I fhou'd give you the trouble of this
Character, after I had given you
my word to trouble you with no
more of this Nature. I mull confefs,
I am forrv that fo foolilh an Occafi-
on cou'd make me forget my felf; bu:
a Book newly publiih'd happening
juft at this Juncture unluckily to fall
? into my Hands, I ccu'd net wkhout
Indignation fee the Scurrility and
Jnfolence, with which Mr. (
and Mr. Cowley are treated ; and
cou'd not but relent a little the
Wrongs done to the Memory of
Men whom the reft of the World
with Juftice admire; and cou'd not
help taking Notice upon fo fair an
Opportunity, that they are not,
tho' dead, to be fo rudely plaid
with, and made the Mav-Game of
e'ry Sflenetkk fiw. There are
fome yet living, whole Wit and
Performances deferve a more refp^cl-
ful treatment, than they have met
frith from him. But they are able
to
[I2 4 ]
to revenge their own Quarrel, if
they think he deferves the honour
to be Scourg'd by 'em. Nothing but
Envy and a Vain Conceit of hmiielf
cou'd move him to attack the Re-
putation of Men, whofe Verie will
alwayes command Admiration ,
while his own raife nothing but
Scorn and Indignation. If his Book-
feller were but bleft with half a do-
zen fuch Authors, he wou'd in a
fliort time infallibly be Stationer
, general to all the Grocers and Tobac*
tonijls in the Town.
After this Digreffion, Madam, let
us return to our Subject. We (land
yet charg'd with Levity, and Incon-
jlancy , two Failings fo nearly re-
lated and fo generally United, that
Levity. x it his hard to treat of 'em apart ; we
will therefore confider 'em briefly to-
gether. Levity is an unfteddy Humor
that makes men like and diflike, feek
and reject frequently the fame things
upon (lender or no Reafons. This is
the Humour of the Infancy of both
Sexes, and proceeds from the ftrength
of their Appetites, and the weak-
nefs
[ «* ]
fiefs of their Judgments. At thefe
tender Years every thing we fee
moves our Curiofities, and becaufe
we think little beyond our Appe-
tites, defire impatiently whatever
pleafes. This wears of in Propor-
tion to the growth of our Judg-
ments, when we begin to confider
the Fatigue, Hazard, Difrcputation,
and other Inconveniences that at-
tend unreasonable, or inordinate
Defires. Herein our Sex have a
fnanifeft Advantage over the other ;
For it is confefs'd on all hands that
our Judgments ripen fooner than
theirs, whence of courfe it Follows, f^ Leq)l ^
that this Folly prevails not io long women
upon us, as them. Tis yet true, thm MiH -
that even the moll experienc'd and
wifefl of Us have no iinall mixture
of it, which appears in the greateft
Part of our Actions. But it is cer-
tain likewife, that Men have a
greater proportion of it than we.
From this it is that Novelty deii-
ves all its Charms, and that Men
fertile with lb much Eagernefs and
Impatience what they fo foon flight
if obtain\i I appeal to the Expe-
rience
rience of all mankind, if they do
not generally frame to themJelves
much greater Idea's of any thing
they defire, and are unacquainted
with, than they find real, when they
becomeJFamiliar to 'em ; and if they
did not imagine greater Pleafures,
while they were in perfuit, than
they met with after they were in
PofTeiTton of their Wiflies. The
Imagery of Fancy is, like fome Pain-
tings, ravifhing, and furprizing at a
due diflance, but approach 'em near*
and all the Charms and Beauty va-
nifli, and they appear rough and
tinpleafant. Hence it is. that Men
grow uneafie, and their defires pall
fo loon upon the full enjoyment of
their VViihes ; they fee then the
imperfections as well Beauties of
what they covered, which glitter 'd
fo far of, and like the Moon apr-
pear'd all Luflre and Smoothnefs,
but when arrived at, all dark and
uneven. Thefe Fallacies Men are
more lubmitted to than we, by
thofe very Privileges which give
'em in fome things the advantage
over us. The variety of Bufinefs,
ani
[ 127 ]
and Society they run through, the
large acquaintance they contract,
'give 'em encouragement to afpirc
to, and hopes to obtain many dif-
ficult things, which our Sex fel-
dom lift their Thoughts up to. I
know this afpiring Humour of theirs
is generally call'd Ambition, and I
"allow the Term to be proper; but
their Ambition works upon their
Levity, which only can make them
Barter certain Eafe, Peace and Se-
curity, for uncertain Pomp and
'Splendour; and forfake a Conditi-
*on they know to be good, for one
[they know no more of, than that
Bt Shines, and that: it Glitters, and
* and fo part with the true Jewel for
the falfe one. Thefe are the feri-
rious and applauded Follies of
Mankind, and mew the Weaknefs
and Levity of thofe we call the
greateft, and wifeft Men, that fa-
'crifice the Eafe and Pleafure of
their lives to Popular Breath, and
founding Tides, which is like bar-
tring a fmall Diamond for a large
* Biafs Bubble,
In con*
[ I*« ]
tikmflamy Inconflancy is fo like Levity that
little more needs to be faid of it,
only that it is commonly reftrain'J
to the change of Affections in regard
to Perfons, and fo is cheifly con-
cern' d in Love and Freindihip. It
is founded upon Levity, thro' which
we firft make an injudicious Choice,
and are afterwards as unrea-"
fonably difgufted with it. This
happens oftner in Loze,thzn Friend*
jkip ; becaufe the Imprefiions of Love
are more fuddenly receiv'd, and the
Effects of it more violent, than thole
■ofFriendJhipi and the Defires,whicH
are commonly kindled by one fmgle
Perfection, fuch as Beauty or Win
not being fuddenly anfvvered, are
in Procefs of time extinguihYd, or
abated by obfervation of fome diP
guftful Imperfection or other in the
Perfon belov d. This is indeed the
nve, why true Reaibn, why Love, which is
hfioncoid. generally fo hot at firft, cools com-
monly fo fuddenly; becaufe being
generally the Iliue of Fancy, not
Judgment, it is grounded upon ani
over great Opinion of thole Perfect!
ions, which firft ftrike us, and
which'!
[ 12p ]
which fall in our Efteem upon more
manure Examination. From whence
it is likewife that Men are lets con-
ftant iri their AfTe&ions, than we i
for Beauty only being generally the
Object of their Paffion, the Effed:
mud neceflarily be as fadeing as the
Caufe ; their Love therefore being
only the refult of wonder and Sur-
prize, is abated by Familiarity, aad
decays, as they wear of, by Degrees:
Befidc, that, a Love fo Founded is
liable to be raviflfd by any Superi-
our Beauty ; or if not fo, yet the
Novelty of the Former once worn
of, the New Comer has the aflift-
a nee of Fancy the Slave of Novelty
to gain the Superiority. This is
the Caufe why fo few real and lad-
ing Paffions are found amongft Men,
For Charms depending upon, and
owing their Power to Fancy, cari
maintain no Conquefts any longer*
than that is on their fide, vVhich is
as inconftant as the Wind. In this MmAc**
a-lfo we are left faulty, than thev ; ^ rLo "
For, not ufualiy fixing our Affe-
ction on fo mutable a Thing as the
Beauty of a face, which a rhoufaridl
K accidents
[ «30 1
accidents may deftroy, but on Wit,
Good Humour, and other Graces of
the Mind, as well as of the Body,
our Love is more durable, and con-
ftant in proportion to the longer
continuance of thofe Qualities in
the Objed:. Neither indeed have
we the means, or temptation to be
Fickle and inconflant fo ready as
Men have; For Modefty, and the
Rules of Decency oblerv'd among
Us, not permitting to us the Liberty
of declaring our lentiments to thole
we love, as Men may, we dare
not indulge a wanton Fancy, or
rambling Inclination, which muft
be fliffled in our own Breafts, and
cou'd only give us a hopekfs An-
xiety, unlels we were able to infpire
the fame Paffion for us in them ;
which it were vain to exped, without
breaking thro' all reftraint of Mode-
fty and Decorum at the price of our
Fame and Reputation, which I hope
few are fo daring as to venture.
Befides this our Temp.rs are by
Nature calm, iedace, and tender,
not apt to be ruffl'd, and diflurb'd
by PalllonSj and too fearful to enter-
prize
[ nr]
prize any thing in fatisfaclion cf
'em; theirs on the contrary, bold,
active, and uneven, eafily fufceptible
of all manner of Defires, and readi-
ly executing any Defigns to gratifie
'em. Thus are vve debarred the
liberty of chufing for our leives,
and confin'd to pleafe our felves out
of the number that like and addrefs
to us, of which if we fix our Af-
fections upon any one, we are
generally fixt and unmoveable, as
having neither the Inclination to,
nor opportunity of Inconftancy, that
the Men have. I don't deny bat
that there may be fome among us
guilty of this Fault, but they are
vaftly fliort of the Number of Men
involv'd in the like Guilt, amongft
whom it is now grown fo fafliionable,
that is become no Scandal; but is
daily juftifted, and the Treachery
boafted of as high Gallantry. The
Crimes therefore of fome few Wc-
men ought, to be no reproach to the
Sex in general. Of Infidelity in
Friendfhip I fhall fay little, becaufe
I think there are fo few Inftances of
any thing that deferve the Name,
K z that
[ ■'** ]
that fcarce any Age has been fo
fruitful as to produce two Pair of real
and true Friends. I know that the
Freindjbip. Name is commonly given to fuch as
are linkt by any Ties of Confan-
guinity, Affinity, Intereft, mutual
Obligations, Acquaintance, and the
like : But thele are fuch Friendfhips
( if they may be call'd fo ) as are
always contracted with a tacit
Referve to Intereft on both fides,
and- feldom laft longer than the
Profperity of either Party, and du-
ring that are frequently renounced
upon flight Difohligations, or lan-
guilh and die of themfelves. Yet
if I may preiume to give my Opinion
in a Cafe, where matter of Fact
does not appear, I think we fhou'd
be the more Faithful even in this
too : For as we are lefs concerned in
the Affairs of the World, fo we have
lefs Temptation from Intereft to be
falle to our Friends. Neither are
fe? ; ? ^we lb likely to be falfe thro 1 Fear;
'than Men. becauie o: i r Sex arc feldom engag'd
in maters cf any Danger, tor
thele Reaions it is, our Sex are gene-
rail; mof€- hearty and fmcere in the
ordinary
[ m ]
ordinary triendfhips they make
than Men, among whom they are
ufually clogg'd with fo many Coiir
^derations of Intereft, and Puncti-
lio's of Honour ; to which laft per-
haps are owing the greatcft part cf
thoie honourable Actions, which
are miftakenly imputed to Friend-
fhip. For fomething done to falve
Honour, commonly puts a Period
to all Friendfhip, with unfortunate
Perfons ; whom Men think they may
afterward grow cold to without Re-
proach.
Thefe are the moft confiderable
Imperfections, or at leaft thoie,
which with moft Colour of Reafon
are charg'd upon us, as general De-
fects ; and I hope, Madam, I have
fairly fliown, that the other Sex are
both by Intereft and Inclination
more expos'd, and more Subject to
'em, than we. Pride, Lufl, Cruel-
ty, and many more, are by the De-
claimed againft us thrown into the
Scale to make weight and bear
us down, bat with Fuch manifeft
Injuftice, that without giving my
K 3 iclf
[ '34]
*elf any further trouble,! dare appeal
to any reafonabie Man, and leave
hI&re m him to decide the Difference. I
Men than know there was a Tullia, a Claudia,
W mm ' and a Mejfalma; there was like-
wife, a Sardanapalus, a. Nero, a Cali-
gula; but if the Sexes in general
are to be reproach'd with, and mea-
fur'd by thefe ; Human Race is
certainly the vileft Part of the Cre-
ation. 'Tis very ill Logic k to ar-
gue from Particulars to Generals,
and where the Premifles are Angular,
to conclude Univerfaily : But if
they will allow us the Liberty they
take themfelves, and come to num*
bering the Vicious, of both Sexes,
they will certainly out poll us by
infinite Numbers. It were therefore
better Policy furely in them, to quit
a way of arguing, which is at once
fo falie, and fo much to the difad-
vantage* of the Caufe they contend
for : and when they can by found
Arguments make out any Advanta-
ges their Sex has over curs, other
than what I have already granted,
I am ready to be convinced, and be-
come their Convert : and I make
no
[ '55 ]
no doubt but every ingenuous Man
will do as much by me. Thus I
have endeavour'd to vindicate our
Sex, from the unjuft Imputations
with which fome unreafonable, mali-
cious Men wou'd load us : For I am
willing to think the greater, or at
leaft the better Part of their Sex,
more generous than to encourage
their Scandal. There remains no-
thing more, but to fliew that there
are fome neceflary Qualifications
to be acquir'd, fome good Improve-
ments to be made by Ingenious
Gentlemen in the Company of our
Sex.
Of this number are Complacence,
Gallantry, Good Humour, Invention, r f^ tag ^"
and an Art, which ( tho' frequent- from m-
ly abus'd ) is of admirable u fe r/IS ™ Comm
to thofe that are Matters of it $ f
the Art of Infinuation, and many
others. 'Tis true a Man may be
an Honeft and Underftanding Man,
without any ofthefe Qualifications ;
but he can hardly be a Polite, a
Well Bred, an Agreable, Taking
Man, without all, or moft of thefe.
K 4 With-
[ '3*1
Without 'em Honejiy, Courage, or
Wit, are like Rough Diamonds, or
Gold in the Ore, they have their
intrinfick Value, and Worth, be-
fore, but they are doubtful and ob-
fcure, till they are poliftfd , refin'd,
and receive Luflre, and Efte-cm from
thefe,
CmpU- *^ ie P r * nc ip a l °f c ' ie ^ e * s Ccm-
feme to be pUuence, a good Quality, without
k*m*d bj y.hich in a competent Meafure no
Man is fi.ted for Society. This is
beft learnt in our Company, where
all Men affedt Gaiety, and endea-
vour to be agreable. State News.,
Politicks, Religion, or private Bu-
finejs take up the greateft Part of
their Converfation, when they are
among themfelves only. Thefe are
Subjects that employ their PaiTi-
pns too much, to leave any room
for Complacence ; they raife too
much heat to fuffer Men to be ea-
f,e and pleafant, and Men are too
ferious when they talk of 'em, to
iupprefs their natural Temper,
•V hich are apt to break out upon any
£)ppofition. Men are as apt to de-
fend
[ *77 ]
fend their Opinions, as their Pro-
perty, and wou'd take it as well to
Jiave their Titles to their Eflates que-
ftion'd, as their Senfe ; and perhaps
in that they imitate the Condudt
pf our Sex, and do, like indulgent
Mothers, that are moll tender of
thofe Children that are weakefL
But however it be, I have obferv'd,
when fuch Arguments have been
, introduced even in our Company,
and by Men that affecT: Indifference,
and abundance of Temper, thae
very few have been able to fhew
fo much Maftery, but that fome-
thing appear'd either in their Air,
pr Expreffion, or in the Tone of
their Voices, which argued a great-
er Warmth, and Concern, than
is proper for the Conversation of
Gentlemen, or the Company of La*
dies. Thefe . Uneafinefles happen
not fo often among us, becaufethe
Men look upon us to have very
little Intereft in the Publick Affairs
of the World, and therefore trouble
us very feldom with their grave,
ferious Trifles, which they debate
With fo much canieihieis among ong
another
[US]
another. They look upon us
as Things defign'd and contriv'd on-
ly for their Pleafure, and therefore
ufe us tenderly, as Children do
their Favourite Bawbles. They
talk gayly, and pleafantly to us,
they do, or fay nothing that may
give as any Difguft, or Chagriui
they put on their cheadfulleft
Looks, and their bed Humour,
that they may excite the like in us :
They never oppofe us but with a
great deal of Ceremony, or in
Raillery, not out of a Spirit of
Oppofition, ( as they frequently
do one another ) but to maintain
a pleafant Argument, or heigthen
by variety of Opinions an agreable
Entertainment. Mirth, and Good
Humour reign generally in our
Society, Good Manners always ;
For with us Men fhew in a manner,
the Reverfe of what they are one
to another : They let their thoughts
play at Liberty, and are very care-
ful of the Expreflion, that nothing
harfli, or obfcene efcape 'em, that
may fhocka tender Mind, or offend
a modeft Ean This Caution it is,
which
[ '59 ]
which is the Root of Complacence*
which is nothing but a Defire to
oblige People, by complying with
their Humours. 'Tis true fome
Tempers are too Obftinate, and
froward, ever to arrive at any great
Heigth of this good Quality, yet
there is nothing lb ftubborn, but it
may be bent. Affiduity and con-
ftant Practice will contract fuch
Habits, as will make any thing
eafie and familiar, even to the worft
contriv'd Difpofition ; but where
Nature concurs, Men are Icon
Perfect. This is one great advan-
tage Men reap by our Society, nor
is it to be defpis'd by the Wifcft of
'em, who know the ufe of this
Accomplilhment, and are fenfible,
that it is hardly, if at all, tosbe ac-
quired, but by converfmg with us.
For tho' Men may have Wit and
Judgment, yet the Liberty they
take of thwarting, and oppofing
one another makes 'em Eager, and
Difputative, Impatient:, Sovvre, and
Merofe; till by converfmg with us,
they grew infenfibly afham'd of fuch
i-uilick Freedom. The truth of this
is
[ Ho]
is Evident from the Obfervation of
the Univerfities, and Inns of Court ,
1 mean thoie Students in 'em that
lead a more reclufe and Monaftick
Life, and converfe little with our
Sex. They want neither Wit, nor
Learning, and frequently neither
Generofity, nor Good Nature, yet
when they come into gay, tho' In-
genious Company,are either damp'd
and filent,or unfeafonablyFrolickfom
and Free, lb that they appear either
Dull, or Ridiculous.
Nor is Complacence the only thing
c * ll ™l r J h .thele Men want, they want like-
•^cow^wife the Gallantry of thole Men
? 9» that frequent our Company. This
Quality is the heigth and perfection
of Civility, without which it is
either Languifhing, or Formal, and
with which it appears always with
an engaging Air of Kindnefs, and
Good Will. It fets a value upon the
moft inconfiderable Trifles, and
turns every Civility into an Obli-
gation. For in ordinary Famili-
arities, and civil Correfpondencies,
we regard not fo much what, as
how
[ M* J
llow things are done, the Manner is
more lookt upon than the Matter of
fuch Courtefies. Almoft all Men
thlSfct have had a liberal, and good
Education know, what is due to
Good Manners, and civil Company.
But till they have been us'd a little
to Our Society, their Modefty fits
like Conftraint upon 'em, and looks
like a fore d Compliance to uneafie
Rules, and Forms of Civility. Con-
verfing frequently with us makes
'em familiar to Men, and when they
are convincd,as well of the Eafineis,
as the Neceflity of 'em, they arc
foon rcconcird to the Practice.
This Point once gain'd, and they
become expert in the common, and
neceflary Practices. Thofe that have
any natural Bra\ery of Mind, will
never be contented to flop there ;
Indifference is too cold and Phleg-
matick a thing for 'em, a little For-
mal Ceremony, and common Civi-
lities, fuch as are paid to e'ry one
of Courie, will not iatisfie their
Ambitious Spirits, which will put
'em upon endeavouring for better
Receptions, and obliging thofe,
whom
[*4 2 ]
whom they can't without Reproach
to themlelves offend. This is the
Original, and firft Spring of Gallan-
try, which is an Humour of Oblig-
ing all People, as well in our Act-
ions as Words. It differs from
Difference Complacence, this being more active,
betwixt that more paflive; This inclines us
TmeZd to oblige, by doing or faying after
Gallantry, our own Humours fuch things as
we think will pleafe ; that by fub*
mitting to, and following theirs.
A Man may be Complacent without
Gallantry, but he can't be Gallant
without Complacence. For 'tis pof-
fible to pleafe and be agreable, with*
out Ihewing our own Humours to
Others ; but 'tis impoflible with-
- out fome regard to theirs : yet this
Pleafure will be but faint and lan-
guid, without a Mixture of both.
This mixture of Freedom, Qbfer-
vance, and a defire of pleafing,
when rightly tempered, is the true
Compofition of Gallantry ; of which,
. who ever is compleat Mailer, can
never fail of being both admir'd, ani
be'ov'd. This Accomplishment is
beit, if not only to be acquifd by
convejfing
[ *43 ]
converfing with us ; for befides the
natural Deference, which the Males
of every obfervableSpecies of the cre-
ation pay to their Females, and the
Reafons before given for Complacence,
which all hold good here, there is
a tender Softnefs in the Frame of
our Minds, as well as in the Confti-
tution of our Bodies, which infpire
Men, a Sex more rugged, with the
like Sentiments, and Affe&ions,
and infufes gently and inlenfibly
a Care to oblige, and a Concern
not to offend us.
Hence it is that they employ all blvmh r, i
their Art, Wit, and Invention to fay f*pW i
and do things, that may appear to ^J ur ^
us, furprizing and agreable either for
their Novelty or Contrivance. The
very End and Nature of Converfa-
tion among us retrench aboundance
of thofe things, which make the
greateft part of Men's diicourle,
and they find tliemfelves oblig'd
to ilrain their Inventions to fetch
from other Springs, Streams proper
to entertain us with. This pucs
'em upon beating and ranging ore
the
C »44 J
the Fields of Fancy to find fome-
thing new, fomething pretty to of-
fer to us, and by this means refines
at the fame time their Wit, and en-
larges, and extends their Invention $
For by forcing 'em out of the com-
mon Road, they are nccefiitated to
invent new Arguments, and feek new
ways to divert and pleafe us, and
by retraining the large Liberty they
take one with another, they are
tompeird to polilh their Wit, and
File off the Roughnefs of it. To
this they owe, the Neatnefs of
Raillery, to which abundance of
Gentlemen are now arrived ; For
Contrariety, of Opinions, being
that which gives Life, and Spirit
to Converfation, as well Women as
Men do frequently hold Arguments
contrary to their real Opinions, on-
ly to heigthcn the Diversion, and im-
prove the pleafure of Society. In
thefe the utmoft Care h taken to
avoid all things tha: may found harih,
pffcnfivc, or indecent, their Wk is
employ 'd only ro raiie mirth, and
promote gecd Humour, Conditions
that can't well be obferv'd, v hen
Men
C 145 ]
Men contend for Realities, and dis-
pute for the Reputation of their ^ oIsno fi
Wit or Judgment, and the truth oif or womtn*
their Opinions. 3 Tis true tl\efe
Improvements are to be made only
by Men, that have by Nature aa
improvable Stock of Wit and good
Senfe ; For thofe that have it not,
b.ing unable to diftinguifh what is
proper for their Imitation, are apt
to Ape us in thofe Things which are
the peculiar Graces and Ornaments
&f our Sex, and which are the im-
mediate Objects of Sight, and need
no further kefie<fxion 3 or thinking.
This Affectation is notorious in our
Modern Beaus, who obierving the
Care taken by fome of our Sex in the
fetting of their Perfons, without
penetrating any farther .into the
Reafons Women have for it, or con-
sidering, that what became them,
might be ridiculous in themfelves,
fall to licking, fprucing, and dreP
fi-ng their Campaign Faces, and ill
contriv'd Bodies, that now, like all
Fooliili Imitatoiirs, they out do the
Originals, and cut-powder, out-
t>£tch. and out-paint the Vainefl
L and
L 14* ]
and mod extravagant of our Sex at
thofe Follies, and are perpetually-
Cocking, Bruftling, Twiring, and
making Grimaces, as if they ex-
pected we fhou'd make Addrefles
to 'em in a fhort Time. Yet ought
net this to dii courage any Ingenious
Perfon, or bring any Scandal upon
our Converfation, any more than
Travelling ought to be brought into
Difrepute, becaufe it is obferv'd,
that thofe, who go abroad Fools, re*
turn Fops. It is not in our power to
alter Nature* but to polifh it, and
if an Afs has learnt all his Paces,
'tis as much as the thing is capa-
ble of, 'twere abfurd to expe£t he
fhou'd chop Lopkk. This is fo far
from being an Qbje&ion againft us,
that it is an Argument, that none
but Ingenious Men are duely quali-
fied to converfe with us ; Who by
our Means have not only been fit-
ted, and finifliYl for great things,
but have a&ually afpir'd to 'em.
For 'tis my Opinion, that we owe
the Neat, Gentile Raillery in Sir
George Etkredge, and Sir Charles
Secl/eys Plays, and the Gallant
Verfes
C'47]
Verfes of Mr. Waller to their Con-
verting much with Ladies. And I
remember an Opinion of a very In-
genious Perfon, who afcnbes the
Ruine of the Spanijh Grandeur in great
meafure, to the ridiculing in the
Perfon of Don Quixot, the Gallantry
of that Nation toward their Ladles.
This Opinion however Ingenious
carries me beyond the Scope and de-
fign of the prefent Argument, and
therefore I lhall leave all further
Confederation of it to thofe that are
more at leifure, and lefs weary than
I am at prefent.
There remain yet fome things to
be ipoken to, but I mud confefs to
you, Madam, that I am already very
much tired, and I have reafon to
fear that you are more. When you
enjoyn'd me this Task, I believe,
you did not expecT:, I am fare, I
did not intend fo long a Letter , I
know I have written too much, yet
I leave you to judge, whether it be
enough. One Experience I have
gain'd by this Eflay, that I find,,
when our Hands are in, 'tis as
L z hard
L 148 J
hard to flop 'em, as our Tongues,
and as difficult not to write, as not
to talk too much. I have done
vvondring at thofe Men, that can
write huge Volumes upon flender
Subjects, and fliall hereafter admire
their Judgment only, who can con-
fine their Imaginations, and curb
their wandring Fancies. I pretend
no Obligation upon our Sex for this
Attempt in their Defence; becaufe
ft was undertaken at your Com*-
rnand,and for your Diverfion only,
which if I have in any meafure
fatisfied, I have my Ambition, and
fliall beg nothing farther, than that
my ready Obedience may excufe
the mean Performance of
Madam,
Tour real Friend, and
JMloJl humlk Servant.
THE
CONTENTS.
A
ARgument from Providence, p. 9.
• from the different Make,
and Temper of Body in the two
Sexes, p. 18.
Amazons, why they lanifht Men, p. 24.
Advantages of Womens Company jp. 1 3 5^
B
Bodies Organic d alike, p. 12.
Brutes of loth Sexes of equal fenfe, p. 1 3
Bully s Char after,, p. 62.
Beaus Char after, p. 68.
Boaflers of Intrigues bafe Fellows, p. 1 1 j
C
Converfation, its End, p. 7.
• -its requifite Conditions, p. 9.
Country Squire's Char after, p. 20.
Coffee fhoufi Politician sChar after, p. 8 7,
City Militia, p, 92.
City Cri tick's Char -after, p. 119.
Complacence how acqj.ur d, p. 136.
The Contents.
D
Diffidence of them f elves a great difcou-
raiment to Women , p. 5- j.
Dijjimulation necejfary, p. no.
why w.oft us d ly Men, p. in,
• when Criminal, p. 113.
How differing from deceit, p.
114.
E
Education Mens greatejl advantage,
p; l
*-* Of the Female Sex not fo der
fie ient as commonly jupposd, p. 36.
Englifo Books very improving, p. 41.
lift helps to Converfation, p.47.
Envy mojl injurious to Virtue, p. 116.
F
Friendship, its requifite Conditions %
p.p.
Failings falfty chargd on Women, p. 60.
Fools no fit Companions for Women, p.
, 4! . o
Gentlemen, left Writers of Morality,
Humanity, &c. p. 52.
Gallantry how acquir V, p. 140..
The Contents.
-How diftinguifht from Compla-
cence, p. 142
I
Invention improvable by the Society of
Women, p. 143.
Ignorance of Latin no difadvantage^
Imitation ridiculous, p. 66.
Impertinence ', what, p. 84.
£-j commonly miflaken, p. 85%
— Epidemical, p. 89.
Officious, p. 94.
To be meajufd by its Artifice,
p. 109.
L
learning unjuftly refrain d to Latin
and Greek onh;, p. 45-.
Love frequently falfe, p. 115".
Levity, what, p. 1 24.
L^/i among Women than Men f
p. 115-.
Z.01^, why fofoon cold * p. 128.
P
Pedant s Character, p. 2*7.
Points of deep Learning and Politicks i
improper for mixt Conversation ^p.40
Poetajlefs Cha(ailer i p. 7^.
7k
The Contents;
The Queflion fated, p. 6.
R
Religion, &c. no proper fulj eels for vnixi
Converfation, p. 38.
s
Sexes not diftingaifi? d in Souls, p. i 1;
Salique Law, its Original, p. 2Z.
Scourer's Character, p. 64.
U
Vulgar of loth Sexes of equal Capaci-
city, p. 15-.
Vanity the Vice of Men, p. 60.
Fools B I effing, p. 76.
Univerfal, p. 82.
^Vertucjds Character, p. 96.
W
Women, .hred to too much Ignorance of -
Bufinefs, p. 16.
Induftrioufly kept in ignorance, '
p. 20.
-FFZ7 conflanier Lovers than
Men, p. 1 29
-Truer Friends than Men, and
why, p. 1 3 2.
•Ni?/ Generally Jo 'Vicious a:
Men, p. ?j^
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