HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
BY
JOHN LEECH
FOUR HUNDRED
HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
BY
JOHN LEECH
With Portrait and Biographical Sketch
SECOND EDITION
LONDON
SIMPKIN, MARSHALL, HAMILTON, KENT & CO
GLASGOW: THOMAS D. MORISON
BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH.
JOHN LEECH was born in London, on the 2Qth August, 1817,
His father, John Leech, was an Irishman, a man of fine culture,
and a good Shakespearean. scholar. He was the landlord of
the London Coffee House on Ludgate Hill, one of the most
important of the city hotels at that time. For a while the
father was successful in his vocation, but ultimately, through
financial embarrassment, was obliged to give up the hotel.
The father was a man of real ability, possessing considerable
skill with the pencil, and from him, no doubt, the son inherited
his special talent. And, again, on the mother's side there
was relationship with the great scholar Richard Bentley, so
that on both sides of the house young Leech had considerable
advantages so far as mental heredity was concerned.
At a very early age the mother observed the extraordinary
aptitude for drawing that her boy possessed, and did all in
her power to encourage it. When young Leech was only
three years old, he was found by the family friend, the great
artist, Flax man, seated on his mother's knee, drawing with
much gravity. The sculptor pronounced his sketch to be
remarkable, and gave the following advice : — " Do not let him
be cramped with lessons in drawing, but let his genius follow
its own bent. He will astonish the world." A few years
after this, some more of the youthful artist's drawings were
shown to the celebrated sculptor, and, after examination, he
said — " The boy must be an artist ; he will be nothing else or
less."
At seven, the boy was sent to Charterhouse. This early
departure from home was, of course, a sore trial to the fond
mother, who was bound up in her child, but, knowing that it
was for her son's future welfare, she threw no obstacles in the
way of his departure from home. She was, however, resolved
that somehow she would see her child frequently. With this
object she hired a room in one of the houses commanding a
view of the playground, and there frequently she sat behind a
blind, happy in getting an occasional glimpse of her boy —
sometimes at play, and sometimes strolling about in the
grounds with his school mates. During his stay of nine
years at Charterhouse, the boy did not distinguish himself in
classical studies. Indeed, all that can be said, is that he
acquired a thoroughly sound English education. He was,
however, liked by everyone at school for his good temper and
winning ways. Among his fellow pupils was the famous
William Makepeace Thackeray, with whom he formed a
warm friendship that lasted throughout life.
At sixteen years of age, young Leech left Charterhouse,
2O1
8 BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH
and, notwithstanding Flaxman's advice that the boy should
follow the profession of an artist, his father put him to the
medical profession at St. Bartholomew's, under Mr Stanley,
the surgeon of the Hospital. After a time he was placed
under Mr Whittle, an eccentric practitioner at Hoxton, and
subsequently under Dr John Cockle, afterwards physician to
the Royal Free Hospital. Throughout his various situations,
young Leech become famous among his fellow students and
friends for his extremely clever — and, at the same time, always
good-natured — caricatures. He was for ever drawing scenes,
characters, and incidents in daily life. About this time, young
Leech's liking for horses probably received its first develop-
ment, through his friendship with Mr Charles Adams. Mr
Adams was the owner of two horses which it was his delight
to drive tandem fashion, and in his excursions Leech was his
constant companion. To this circumstance we are, no doubt,
partially indebted for many of the clever bits of driving and
country-road life depicted by the pencil of the artist. At
this early period of his career, Leech made numerous life
friendships with men who afterwards became distinguished.
Notable among these men were Albert Smith and Percival
Leigh,
At eighteen years of age, Leech published his first work,
entitled " Etchings and Sketchings by A. Fen, Esq." It was
a small work of four quarto sheets. As he got more and
more engrossed in artistic work, the young student seems to
have gradually given up his medical studies, and to have
resolved to live by his pencil. In course of time he turned
his attention to lithography, and, having drawn pictures upon
lithographic stones, he has been known to spend many a
weary day in carrying such heavy stones from publisher to
publisher in search of a buyer. But as his fame increased,
the difficulty of getting remunerative employment rapidly
diminished. A good deal of Leech's early work, among other
things, was in connection with Bell's Life in London, the best-
known sporting paper of the time. Here he was associated
with Cruikshank, Madons, " Phiz," and Seymour. It was
when at work for Bell's Life that he first imbibed a taste for
held sports, which developed into a strong feature in his
pictorial career. He joined the hounds in Herefordshire,
where Millais became his fellow pupil in acquiring the arts of
the chase. Among the schemes of drollery that our artist
participated in about this time was the Comic Latin Grammar,
Leigh contributing the text, and Leech the illustrations. This
was followed by the Comic English Grammar, and likewise by
the Children of the Mobility, a parody on a well-known work
BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH 9
devoted to the serious glorification of our juvenile aristocracy.
But in August of 1841 Leech began the great work of his
life — a work, indeed, which he never quitted but with life —
namely, his connection with Punch, The first number of
Punch was issued on the i/th July, 1841, and Leech's first
contribution to it appeared on the 7th August, in the fourth
number. For about twenty years, it may be said, he was its
leading spirit, and, by his contributions to its pages, got in all
about ^40,000. Political caricatures he produced by the
score, and held up to ridicule many of the absurd customs of
the pretensious and exclusive sections of Society. Like
Thackeray and Dickens, Leech detested snobbery in all walks
of life, and depicted it unsparingly in a way that it never had
been dealt with before. Week after week there flowed from
his pencil an endless stream of scenes of high life and low
life, of indoor life and street life, now of England, and then of
foreign lands, and of all times, seasons, and occasions, as also
numerous scenes of deer-stalking and fishing, and of horses
and hounds, in all cases depicting whatever he undertook with
extraordinary accuracy combined with infinite humour. Also,
when social or national wrong called for grave censure, Leech
knew how to administer it, not only without giving unneces-
sary offence, but in the way best calculated to bring about
reform and redress. In all circumstances he was essentially a
humorist, and he found his most genial vocation in depicting
life and character in the social circles he frequented. As a
keen observer of the everyday life around him, he delighted to
depict the corporation magnate, the artist, the medical student,
the spendthrift, the policeman, the cab driver, the coster, the
carman, and hundreds of other such phases of everyday life
and character, seeing humour and drollery where others failed
to observe anything but the commonest aspects of everyday
monotony. Of course it should not be forgotten that, if Leech
did great things for Punch, his connection with that journal
gave him great opportunities, and brought him into the very
forefront of British artists. He was considered the most
successful humorist of the day, and his pencil was in constant
request. In the course of years he became the illustrator of
about eighty volumes. When it is realised that the sketches
in Punch and the illustrations in these eighty volumes com-
bined amount to some thousands in number, the mind is much
impressed with the great amount of industry and application
that Leech displayed throughout life. Even a tour to the
Highlands, or to Ireland, or an outing to any portion of the
country, was at all times turned to practical account for work
later on.
io BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH
This incessant brain-work produced an extreme nervous
sensitiveness In this state he was much affected by noise
and \vas literally driven from his house in Brunswick Square
by street music. He removed to Kensington, where he hoped
to obtain a release from this annoyance by adopting a device
of double windows. But he had no peace. He often intro-
duced in the pages of Punch the barrel-organ nuisance. The
public, however, at that time had no idea what these sketches
from real life cost the artist. In 1864, Leech was ordered to
take a holiday on the Continent. Upon his return to his
London home in the autumn of the same year, although better
in health, he was still strangely susceptible to noise. He
spoke with more than his usual earnestness about the suffer-
ings which the street organs gave him, and about the smallness
of the sympathy which he received from people who had no
weakness in the same direction. This extraordinary sensitive-
ness to noise was only a secondary phase or symptom of the
real ailment. The real malady from which he suffered was
breast-pang, or spasms of the heart, a form of angina pectoris.
Although it was necessary to warn Leech against all excite-
ment, riding, quick walking, or overwork, it was not supposed
that he was in immediate danger, and, if he could only find
rest and quiet, great hopes were entertained of his recovery.
However, the sad end came when quite unexpected. In the
morning of the 2Qth of October, 1864, he spoke hopefully of
the future to his wife. In a few hours afterwards he whispered
into the same living ear — " I am going," and fell into his
father's arms in a faint. Three hours afterwards he expired.
The news of his death went over the country with a dismal
shock ; for in what house was John Leech not an inmate in
one form or another ?
Leech was tall, with an elegant figure, over six feet in
height, graceful and gentlemanly in manner, with a fine head
and a handsome face. In action he was nimble, vigorous,
and yet gentle, capable of the heartiest mirth, and yet
generally quiet. He was singularly modest, both as a man
and an artist. The perpetual going to nature kept him
humble as well as made him rich. His consideration, too, for
others was apparent at all times, and the gentleness of his
nature was remarkable. When it is considered that all these
beautiful traits of character were accompanied by such extra-
ordinary talent and wisdom, one is profoundly impressed with
the greatness of the man. No wonder so many mourned
when such a great, gentle, and graceful spirit passed away.
It was a national loss, and as such was realised throughout
the homes of the United Kingdom.
CONTENTS
Portrait of John Leech -
Biographical Sketch ...
Alarming Symptoms after Eat-
ing Boiled Beef and Goose-
berry Pie ....
Great Want of Veneration -
Something like a Holiday
Innocent and Amusing Tricks
for Beys ....
Another .....
A London Gent Abroad -
Unfeeling Observation
Sailing versus Railways
Innocence ....
Never Satisfied ...
Living in Hope ...
Jealousy
A Puzzling Order ...
How to get rid of a Gratis
Patient ....
Hooking and Eyeing - -
In for It
Bless the Boy ....
Pity the Sorrows of the Poor
Police
Speculators ....
Preparations for War
Early Beginnings ...
May difference of opinion never
alter Friendship ...
The Test of Gallantry -
Interesting scene during the
Canvas for Mr. — , not a hun-
dred miles from -
Mai-apropos ....
A little bit of Hunting
Alarming .....
An Impudent Minx ...
Very Acute - - - -
Men of Business ...
Delicacy of the Season
Unlucky ....
Nothing like warm Bathing
The Ruling Passion -
Different People have Different
Opinions ....
The Alderman's Advice to his
Son
An Omnibus Incident
Very Proper Diet for Warm
Weather ....
Mr. Verdant's attempt at Book-
making ....
Easily Satisfied - - - -
The Chatalaine — a really useful
Present ....
Domestic Bliss •
Rather Disappointing
Domestic Bliss — Time 3.30 ;
Thermometer 30 degrees
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A Dumb Waiter 01
Murder Will Out - 62
Different People have Different
Opinions - - - 63
Advice Gratis 64
Grandmamma is supposed to
have given Tom some plums 65
The Rising Generation - - 66
Sour Grapes 67
Dog Days .... 68
Hall along of the Betting Offices 6c>
A Romance of Roast Ducks - .70
Delicate 71
A Great Loss - - - - 72
Rather a Bad Look-out - 73
Curious Effect of Relaxing Air 74
Oh ! The Curtains 75
A Left-handed Compliment • 76-
Taken at his Word - - - 77
The Opera .... 78
Fishing off a Watering Place - 79
The Conservatory - - - 80
The Garret - - - - 81
Late Hours 82
No Place like Home when the
family are at a Watering Place 83
A British Ruffian 84
Very Considerate - - - 85
Filling up the Census Paper - 86
Reward of Merit - - - Sv
Doing a Little Bill ... 88
Alarming - - - - 89
Domestic Bliss .... go-
Returning from the Seaside — A
Little Commission - - 91
A Jolly Dog -•- - 92
A Bon-bon from a Juvenile
Party 93
Throwing stones through ice - 94
True Respectability - - 95
A Young Gentleman and
Scholar - - - - 96
Perfect Sincerity ; or Thinking
Aloud 97
Perfect Sincerity ; or Thinking
Aloud 98
Perfect Sincerity ; or Thinking
Aloud ----- 99
No Doubt .... ioo
Very Low People ... 101
A Weighty Matter ... 102
A Cheap Day's Hunting, No. i 103
A Cheap Day's Hunting, No. 2 104
A Cheap Day's Hunting, No. 3 ioq
The Gentle Craft - - - 106
Apropos of Bloomerism - - 107
One of the Delightful Results
of Bloomerism ... 108
Bloomerism in a Ball-room - 109
Barrack Life - - - -no-
12
CONTENTS
Bon-bon from a Juvenile Party -
Domestic Bliss -
Solicitude ....
Flunkeiana ....
A Horrible Business
Putting his foot in it
Flunkeiana ....
Flunkeiana ....
Domestic Bliss ...
Splendid Day with the Queen's -
Domestic Bliss ....
Domestic Bliss -
Flunkeiana ....
Flunkeiana ....
Subject for a Picture
Fishing off Brighton ...
Flunkeiana ....
An Enthusiastic Fisher -
The Worst of Evening Parties
Sporting Youth who has lost
the Hounds ....
A lapse of twenty minutes —
Sporting Youth returns
Flunkeiana ....
Domestic Bliss -•
The Opera ....
How to Dress a Lobster -
An Exclusive -
Flunkeiana ....
Snow-flakes, — No. i -
Snow-flakes, — Xo -2. - -
Snow-flakes, — Xo. 3 - -
The Hat-moving Experiment -
A False Position
Servantgalism ; or, What's to
become of the Missusses?
Servantgalism ; or, What's to
become of the Missusses?
Servantgalism ; or, What's to
become of the Missusses?
The Camp at Chobhan — Hos-
pitality ....
The New Bonnet ...
A Great Mental Effort
Cruel
A Caution to little boys at a
Festive Season ...
A Playful Creature -
A Very Vulgar Subject
Study of an Elderly Female
Hailing the Last Omnibus -
A Large Bump of Caution
Latest from Paris ...
A Serious Threat
A Trifle the Matter with the
Kitchen Boiler ...
Competition ....
Gammoning a Gent. ...
Enter Mr. Bottles, the Butler -
Flunkeiana — a fact •
129
130
Railway Smoking . . .
How to get a Connection -
Thinking Aloud . . .
A Brutal Fellow
A Delicious Sail off Dover
Division of Labour -
A Thorough Good Cook -
Bottom Fishing -
First Night in the New House
No Offence -
Matrimonial Solicitude
Aquatics -
Difference of Taste •
Teeth Extracted
" By the Sad Sea Waves "
Miss Brown kindly takes her
cousin out fishrng -
The Woman at the Wheel
The Female of the Future
How cool and nice these French-
Polished floors are. — But, Oh,
Dear, How very Hard -
Villikens in the Drawing Room
Wise Man -
Quite Safe -
A Great Prospect -
A Gorgeous Spectacle
Something Like Sport
Trade
Delightful Out-door Exercise in
Warm Weather -
Servantgalism -
Servantgalism -
nit from the Mining Districts -
liit from the Mining Districts -
Servantgalism -
Delightiul Privilege during
Winter Months -
Speaking from Experience
Surprise for Tomkins
All Right
Sea-side Saturday Evening
Serious for the Military -
Fashions for Fast Men
A Rare Treat ....
Alas for the old Institutions -
The Moustache Movement
Wonderful Effect of Ether in a
case of scolding wife
Rather Awkward for Tompkins -
Servantgalism ; or, WThat's to
become of the Missusses?
Sailing Instructions -
A Country Ball -
After Partaking very Heartily -
The Influenza
How to Flatter a Gent. -
Best Foot Foremost ...
The Rising Generation
Meeting His Half-way
Consols at co
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CONTENTS
PAGE
Consols at 80 - - - - 216
A Brilliant Idea - - - 217
The Rising Generation - - 218
Prevention Better than Cure - 219
Honeymoon at Sea ... 220
A Real Difficulty - - - 221
A Case of Real Distress - - 222
Literal ..... 223
Good Security .... 224
On the Moors ... 425
Speaks for Himself ... 226
One of the Fine Arts - - 227
Table Rapping .... 2^8
A Good Education ... 229
The Finishing Touch to a
Picture 230
Close of the Season - 231
Beginning Fires for the Winter
— Something wrong with the
Chimney .... 232
An Association for the Advance-
ment of Science on an Excur-
sion 233
Business-Like .... 234
Jack Ashore - ' - • • 235
No News is Good News (?) - 236
Paterfamilias Superintends in
Person the removal of the
snow from the roof of his
house 237
Pleasing Effect Below - - 238
The Battle of the Pianos - - 239
Delightful for Mother - - 240
A Caution during the Mistletoe
Season to young men who
wear sharp-pointed mous-
taches .... 241
Scene — Drawing Room - - 242
Friend, Doctor, and Wife - 243
A Visit tc the Antediluvian
Reptiles at Sydenham - - 244
The Too Faithful Talbotype - 245
False Pretences ... 246
Another Bit from the Mining
Districts .... 247
The Moustache Movement - - 248
Long Vacation .... 249
Agricultural .... 250
Flunkeiana - - - -251
The Ticket-Showing Nuisance 252
Scholastic .... 253
Pleasures of Housekeeping - 254
These Hats .... 255
Rather Alarming ... 356
Thinking Aloud ... 257
General Thaw and Bursting of
the Water Pipes ... 258
Innocent Mirth .... 259
Frightful ..... 260
Bachelor Housekeeping - - 261
The Sensational ...
Early in the Morning
Moral Influence of Executions -
No Consequence ...
The First of September
Two Aspects -
The Police ....
Women and Freemasonry -
Did You Ever ....
Awful result of giving a Season
ticket to your wife - - -
Such a Lark ....
From the Mining Districts, — an
Attempt at Converting the
Natives
Moderate Terms ...
Fine Business, indeed ! The
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Wretch !
Old Clothes ....
Servantgalism ....
How Disgreeable the Boys are -
The Rising Generation
Poor Muggins ....
Our Little Friend Tom Noddy -
Coarse, but Characteristic -
Old Lady and Leveller
A Perfect Wretch
The Moustache Movement
Life in London ....
At the Crimea ....
Friendly, but very Unpleasant -
Keeping Step ....
The Moustache Movement
Too Bad
Prudent Resolve ...
Disgusting for Augustus
Servantgalism ....
Flunkeiana Rustica
A Fact
In Hope .....
Hope Rewarded ...
Not to be Daunted - - -
Hope and Fear - ...
Most Provoking ....
Never Say Die ....
Marry on .£300 a Year
The Husband as he ought not
to be
Fair and Equal ...
A Very Particular Party -
Comparisons ....
Good Looking ....
A Cautious Bird ...
Pleasing Delusion in re the
Round Hats -
Roasted Chestnuts ...
" Where Ignorance is Bliss 'tis
Folly to be Wise " •
Private Opinion ...
CONTENTS
Taken Aback « - - - 315
Nicely Caught .... 316
Perfectly Dreadful - - -317
Cupid at Sea .... 318
Very Considerate - - -319
A Railway Collision — A Hint to
Station Masters ... 320
Patience Rewarded ... 321
A Sketch from the Stand at
Scarboro' .... 322
Astounding Announcement from
the Small Country Butcher - 323
Offended Dignity ... 324
Amateur Pantomine - - 325
Remarkable Occurrence - - 326 j
Young Upholsterers ... 327 j
The Valentine .... 328 i
True Gallantry .... 329 j
Self-Help 330
Startling Advice ... 331 i
Early Responsibility - - 332 !
A Moral Lesson from the
Nursery - - - - 333
The Bloated Aristocrat - - 334
Married for Money — the
Honeymoon .... 335
Under the Mistletoe - - 336
Alarming Proposition - - 337 ;
Young Lady of the Period - 338
Serve Him Right ... 339
Everything in its Place - - 340
A Hint to Gentlemen - - 341
A Hint to Railway Travellers 342
Oh, Yes ; Of Course - - 343
The Quadrille in Hot Weather 344
The New Regulation Mess - 345 j
A Painful Subject ... 346
Photograph Beauties - - 347 j
The Opera,— No. i - - - 348 !
The Opera, — No. 2 - - - 349 j
A Sketch at a Railway Station - 350
Hi' Art 351
Flunkeiana .... 352
Servantgalism ... 353
Symptoms of Hard Reading - 354
The Stout Lady - - - 355 ,
Head of the House, — No. i - 356
Head of the House, — No. 2 - 357 ;
Milk versus Water ... 358
Thrilling Domestic Incident - 359
Very Artful Contrivance - - 360 ,
A Windy Day .... 361 !
Common Objects at the Seaside 362
Astonishing a Young One - 363
Awkward Predicament - - 364
A Notion of Pleasure - - 365 ',
A Bad Time for John Thomas - 366
Learning to Swim ...
On the Roof ....
Nothing but Eating ...
Lively for Jones ...
Very Odd ....
Wholesome Feast ...
Of a very Studious Turn -
A very green-eyed monster
Juvenile Dissipation
None but the Brave deserve the
Fair
Tit for Tat ....
Solicitude ....
Skeletons
Great Minds Think Alike
An elegant row about a machine
What a Terrible Turk
A Safe Convoy ....
Impertinent Curiosity
Tickled with a Straw
Horrible Question after a
Greenwich Dinner
Touching Appeal ...
A Great Mistake ...
It's the Early Bird that Picks
up the Early Worm
Serious Thing for Brown
The Moustache Movement
The Beard ....
Consolation ....
Fortunate Fellows ...
Pursuit of Pleasure ...
A Domestic Extravaganza
Sisterly Love ....
Freezing ....
A Peace Conference •
When Railway Companies fall
out the Public derive the bene
fit
Quite True ....
A Holiday ....
Cold in the Head ...
Touching ....
A Fishing Adventure
Self-Examination ...
Delicate Test ....
The Moustache Movement -
Conclusive Table-Turning Ex-
periment made at Greenwich
The Farmyard ...
A Suburban Delight
Juvenile Etymology
Portrait of the Old Party who
rather likes Organ-grinding -
An Injured Individual
Practical Science ...
A Shock
414
FOUR HUNDRED
HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 17
ALARMING SYMPTOMS AFTER EATING BOILED BEEF
AND GOOSEBERRY PIE.
Little Boy — " Oh Lor, Mar. I feel just exactly as if my
jacket was buttoned."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
GREAT WANT OF VENERATION.
Little Boy—"\ say, Lobster, shall I go and fetch you a cab?"
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 19
SOMETHING LIKE A HOLIDAY.
Pastry Cook — ''What have you had, sir?"
Boy — " I've had two jellies, seven of them, and seven of
them, and six of those, and four bath buns, a sausage roll, ten
almond cakes — and a bottle of Ganger beer."
20 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
INNOCENT AND AMUSING TRICKS FOR BOYS.
An old lady is crossing the street, when a little boy shouts
out — " Hi!" at the top of his voice. The old lady starts and is
greatly agitated, and imagines she is run over by an omnibus.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 21
ANOTHER.
A little boy rushes past an old gentleman and " yowls " like
a dog. The old gentleman is terrified beyond measure, think-
ing a mad dog is going for him.
23 LEECH'S HUMOROUS- ILLUSTRATIONS
A LONDON GENT ABROAD.
London Gent. — " Garcong, tas de corfee."
Garcong — "Bien, M'sieur — would you like to see zee Times?"'
London Gent — '• Hang the feller ! Lor I wonder how he
found out I was an Englishman !"
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 23
UNFEELING OBSERVATION.
Vulgar Little Boy — " Oh, look here, Bill ! Here's a poor
boy bin and had the hinfluenza, and now he has broken out
all over buttons and red stripes."
24 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
SAILING VERSUS RAILWAYS.
Smith — " Well, Brown, this is better than being stewed up
in a railway Eh ? "
Brown (faintly) — " Oh, im-meas-urably su-perior."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 25
INNOCENCE.
Little Boy — " Oh, sir ! No, sir ! Please, sir, it aint me, sir !
It's the other boys, sir !
26 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
NEVER SATISFIED.
Old Gent. — "Good gracious me! What with orangepeeF
and slides, life is not safe."
M^CH'S HUMOkOUS ILLUSTRATIONS 2?
LIVING IN HOPE.
Medical Student — " Well, old fellow, so you've past at last ? "
Consulting Surgeon — " Yes ; but I don't get much practice, .
somehow — although I am nearly always at home in case any
one should call."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
JEALOUSY.
Betrothed— (who does not dance the polka) — " I should like
to punch his head — a conceited beast ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 20,
A PUZZLING ORDER.
" I'll trouble you to measure me for a new pair of boots."1
30 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
HOW TO GET RID OF A GRATIS PATIENT.
" So you have taken all your stuff and don't feel better. Eh ?
Well, then, we must alter the treatment. You must get your
head shaved ; and if you call here to-morrow at eleven, my
pupil here will put a seton in your neck."
BEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 31
HOOKING AND EYEING.
Angelina (the wife of his bussum) — "Well, Edwin, if you
can't make the things, as you call them, meet, you need not
swear so. It's really quite dreadful ! "
32 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
IN FOR IT.
"Hallo, sir! Are you aware that you are trespassing
there?"
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 33
BLESS THE BOY!
Old Lady — "Now, Arthur, what will you have — some cf
this nice pudding or some jam tart ? "
Juvenile — " No pastry, thank ye, aunt. It spoils one's wine
so. I don't mind a devilled biscuit, tho', by and by, with my
claret."
34 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
PITY THE SORROWS OF THE POOR POLICE.
" Lor', Soosan ! how's a feller to eat meat such weather as
this ? Now, a bit of pickled salmon and cowcumber, or a
lobster salad, might do."
BEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 35
!\
SPECULATORS.
" This aint such a wery bad idea, is it, Jim ? Here's the
stockbroker offers me 100 shares for five bob advance, and
vants the name of my bank."
36 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
PREPARATIONS FOR WAR.
" Oh ! if you plaze, zur, doant you want zome fine active-
young men for the Fourth Light Dragoons ? "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 37
EARLY BEGINNINGS.
Old Gentleman — " I want some shaving soap, my good lad."
Boy — " Yes, sir ; here's an harticJe I can recommend, for I
always use it myself."
38 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
MAY DIFFERENCE OF OPINION NEVER ALTER
FRIENDSHIP.
Dumpy Young Lady—" Well, for my part, Matilda, I like
long waists and short flounces."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 39
THE TEST OF GALLANTRY.
Conductor — " Will any gent be so good as for to take this
young lady in his lap ? "
40 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
INTERESTING SCENE DURING THE CANVAS FOR
MR.— — , NOT A HUNDRED MILES FROM— — .
Wife of Free and Independent — " Oh ! ain't he a haffable
gentleman, Tummas ? "
Free and Independent — "Ah! just ain't 'im. I shouldn't
\vonder if I warn't able to pay my rent to-morrer ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 41
MAL-APROPOS.
Gentleman (in Shower Bath^ — " Hollo ! Hollo ! Who's
there? What the douce do you want?"
Maid — " If you please, sir, here's the butcher, and missus
says, what will you have for dinner to-day?"
42 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMBUG.
Shoemaker — " I think, mum, we had better make a pair.
You see, mum, your's is such a remarkable long and narrer
foot!"
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 43.
/V.CIDF.HTS BY RAILWAY
<
LOSS * LIFE
BROKEN UMBS
LEG*
ALARMING.
The old lady is supposed (after a great effort) to have made
up her mind .to travel, just for once, by one of those new-
fangled railways, and the first thing she beholds on arriving.
at the station is the above most alarming placard.
44 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
AN IMPUDENT MINX.
Lady of the house — " Hoity, toity, indeed ! Go and put up
these curls directly, if you please. How dare you imitate me
in that manner? Impertinence!
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 45
Mr-
VERY ACUTE.
-" So your name is Charley, is it now ? Charley
doesn't know who I am ? "
Sharp Little Boy— "Oh, yes, but I do, though/'
Mr — — " Well, who am I ? "
Sharp Little Boy — " Why, you're the gentleman who kissed
sister Sophy in the library the other night, when you thought
no one was there."
46 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
MEN OF BUSINESS.
MONEY. — Wanted, from ^,300 to ^"400, to bring forward an
article that must in a few years realise a handsome fortune to
the proprietors. To any young man who is not of business
habits, with the above sum at command, this is an opportunity
for investment seldom met with. References exchanged. No
professed money-lender need apply.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 47
DELICACY OF THE SEASON.
Testy Old Uncle (unable to control his passion) — " Really,
sir, this is quite intolerable ! You must intend to insult me.
For the last fourteen days, wherever I have dined, I have
had nothing but saddle of mutton and boiled turkey, boiled
turkey and saddle of mutton. I'll endure it no longer."
{Exit old gent, who alters his will.
48 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
UNLUCKY.
" Vat's the matter, eh ?"
" Oh, there's always a somethink. Vy, I Ye been and left
my hopera glass in a cab now."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 49
NOTHING LIKE WARM BATHING.
" Hollo ! Hi ! Here ! Somebody ! I've turned on the hot
water, and I can't turn it off again !"
50 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE RULING PASSION.
Now, tell me, dear, is there anything new in the fashions ?'
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS.
Housebreaker — " Wot a shame for people to go leaving
• coal-scuttles about for people to go stumbling over."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE ALDERMAN'S ADVICE TO HIS SON.
Mr Gobble — " You see, Sam, you are a werry young man,
and when I am took away, you will have a great deal of
property. Now I have only one piece of advice to give you.
It's this — lay dawn plenty of port in your youth, that you
may have a good bottle of wine in your old age."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 53
AN OMNIBUS INCIDENT.
Man (thrusting his hand into the window) — " Will you buy
-a knife with 100 blades ?"
54 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
VERY PROPER DIET FOR WARM WEATHER.
Mrs Turtledove — " Dearest Alfred, will you decide now
what we shall have for dinner?"
Mr Turtledove—11 Let me see, Poppet. We had a wafer
yesterday ; suppose we have a roast butterfly to-day."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 55
MR. VERDANT'S ATTEMPT AT BOOKMAKING.
Verdanfs Friend — " Well, as near as I can make out, you
must lose ,£150, and may lose .£300 ! "
56 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
EASILY SATISFIED.
Fond Parent — " I don't care, Mr Medium, about its being
highly finished ; but I should like the dear child's expression
preserved.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 57
THE CHATALAINE— A REALLY USEFUL PRESENT.
Laura — " Oh, look, ma, dear ; see what a love of a chatelaine
Edward has given me "
53 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
DOMESTIC BLISS.
Mistress — " Well I'm sure ! And, pray, who is this ?"
Cook — " Oh, if you please'm, it's only my cousin, who has
just called to show me how to boil a potato."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 59-
RATHER DISAPPOINTING.
Page—11 Fancy dress ball, sir ! Yes, sir ; was last Thursday
sir.
60 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
DOMESTIC BLISS. TIME 3.30. THERMOMETER 30 DEC.
William — "What a violent ringing there is at the street-
door bell ! "
Maria — " Oh, I know what it is, dear. It's the sweeps, and
I dare say the maids don't hear. Just run up and knock at
their room door."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 61
A DUMB WAITER.
Old Gentleman — " What the deuce is the reason, sir, you
don't answer when you are called ? "
[The reason is obvious. The poor child has his mouth full
of green peas and jam tart."]
-62 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
MURDER WILL OUT.
Mrs Smith — " Is Mrs Brown in ?
Jane — " No, mem, she's not at home."
Little Girl — " Oh, what a horrid story, Jane ! ma's in the
."kitchen helping cook ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 63
DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS.
Flunkey—" Apollo ? Hah! I dessay it's very cheap, but
it aint my idea of a good figger ! "
64 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
ADVICE GRATIS.
Ellen — " Oh, don't tease me to-day, Charley ; I'm not at
all well ! "
Charley (a man of the world) — " I tell you what it is, cousin ;
the fact is, you are in love. Now, you take the advice of a
fellow who has seen a good deal of that sort of thing, and
don't give way to it."
GRANDMAMMA IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE GIVEN MASTER
TOM SOME PLUMS.
Master Tom — " Now, then, granny, I've eaten the plums,
and, if you don't give me sixpence, I'll swallow the stones!"
66 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE RISING GENERATION.
Torn—11 Ah, Bill, I'm quite tired of the dissipation of the
gay and fashionable world. I think I shall marry and settle."
£///_" Well, I'm sick of a bachelor's life myself^but I
don't like the idea of throwing myself away in a hurry."
BEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 67
SOUR GRAPES.
Elderly Spinster — " So you're going to be married dear, are
you ? Well, for my part, I think nine hundred and ninety-
nine marriages out of a thousand turn out miserably ; but of
• course everyone is the best judge of her own feelings."
68 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
DOG DAYS.
Old Lady—" John Thomas ! "
John T/iomas—" Yes, my lady ! "
Old Lady— "Carry Emeralda ; she's getting tired, poor
darling."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 69
HALL ALONG OF THE BETTING OFFICES.
Betting Flunkey — " Lost ? I believe yer ! And lost a hat-
ful of money on the hoaks, too; and how I'm to settle without
parting with my jewellery I don't know. Ah, Mr Bottles, it's
hard lines to wait at table with such cares and hanxieties ! "
70 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A ROMANCE OF ROAST DUCKS.
" My darling, will you take a little of the — a — the stuffing ? ""
" I will, dear, if you do ; but, if you don't, I won't."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 71
DELICATE.
'Bns Conductor — " Would any lady be so kind as to ride
outside to oblige a gentleman ? "
72 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A GREAT LOSS.
Rapid Undergraduate — Well, Jackson ! You see they've
plucked me again/'
Porter of St. Boniface — " Ye'es sir, I was very sorry when I
'card of it, sir."
Undergraduate — " Ah ! I did intend going into the Church
and being an ornament to the profession ; but, as they won't
let me through, I think I shall cut the whole concern."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 73
RATHER A BAD LOOK-OUT.
Young Sister — " I should so like to go to a party, ma."
Mamma — " My dear, don't be ridiculous. As I have told
you before (I am sure a hundred and fifty times), until Flora
is married, it is utterly impossible for you to go out, so do not
allude to the subject again, I beg."
74 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
CURIOUS EFFECT OF RELAXING AIR.
\N.B. — Mr So-and-So hopes by a strict attention to business-
to merit a continuance of those favours, etc., etc.]
Traveller (much excited) — " Bless my heart ! there's the
bell ringing on the pier. Holloa ! why, where's the carpet bag
I left in the passage ? "
Hotel Proprietor (faintly) — " Oh, how should I know ?
Don t ask me ; I'm only the landlord. You had better try
if you can't wake one of the waiters."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 75.
OH! THE CURTAINS.
Objectionable Child — " Lor, pa ! Are you going to smoke ?
My eye ! Won't you catch it when ma comes home, foi
makinsr the curtains smell."
76 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A LEFT-HANDED COMPLIMENT.
Bootmaker (with great feeling) — " Oh no, sir ! Don't have
Napoleons ; have tops, sir ! Yours is a beautiful leg for a top
boot, sir !" [Young Nimrod is immensely pleased]. " Beautiful
leg, sir ! Same size all the way down, sir !" [Young Nimrod
is immensely disgusted].
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 77
TAKEN AT HIS WORD.
Uncle — " So, you have been at the Crystal Palace, have
you, Gus ?"
Gus — " Yes, uncle."
Uncle — " Well, now, I'll give you sixpence if you tell me
what you admired most in that temple of industry."
Gus — " Veal and 'am pies and the ginger beer. Give us the
sixpence."
78 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE OPERA.
Boy-Keeper—" Stalls 216 and 17. This way; ma'am. Last
row, ma'am."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 79
FISHING OFF A WATERING PLACE.
Perhaps (?) the jolliest thing in the world.
So LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE CONSEEVATORY.
Genteel Sunday Observer — " What the people can want with
a crystal palace or a picture gallery on Sundays I can't think?
Surely they ought to be content with their church and their
home afterwards/
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 81
THE GARRET.
The other side of the subject.
82 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
LATE HOURS.
As the servants are gone to bed, the master of the house
endeavours to get a little bit of supper for himself,
surprised at the amount of live stock on the premises.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 83
NO PLACE LIKE HOME, WHEN THE FAMILY ARE AT
A WATERING PLACE.
Old Party (who is taking care of the house) — " Oh, yes sir.
You will find the room nice and clean — and I am sure the
bed is haired — for I have been an' slep in it, my own self
-.every night."
84 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A BRITISH RUFFIAN.
Lady — 11 If you are not satisfied with what I have given
you, there's a gentleman here who will settle with you."
Cabman — " No, there ain't ! There ain't no gentleman
here!"
Lady — " I tell you there is. There is a gentleman in this
house."
Cabman — '•' Oh, no, there ain't, not if he belongs to you !"
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 85
VERY CONSIDERATF.
Affable Little Gentleman — " Dear, oh dear ! How it rains !
I'm afraid you'll get very wet — can I offer you a great coat
•or anything ? "
86 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
FILLING UP THE CENSUS PAPER.
Wife of his bosom — "Upon my word, Mr Peewitt! Is this
the way you fill up your Census ? So you call yourself the
Head of the Family ' — do you — and me a female ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 87
REWARD OF MERIT.
Ragged Urchin — " Please, give dad a short pipe."
Barman — Can't do it Don't know him."
Ragged Urchin — " Why, he gets drunk here ever}- Saturday
night"
Barman — "Oh! Does he, my little dear? Then 'ere's a
nice long 'un, with a bit of wax at the end."
DOING A LITTLE BILL.
" You see, old boy, it's the merest form in the world. You
have only to — what they call — accept it, and I'll find the
money when it comes due."
Victim — " Come along — give us the pen."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 89
ALARMING.
Hairdresser — " They say, sir, the cholera's in the hair, sir ! "
Gent., very uneasy — " Indeed ! Ahem ! Then I hope you
are particular about the brushes you use."
Hairdresser — " Oh ! I see you don't hunderstand me,
sir. I don't mean the 'air of the 'ed, but the hair hof the
hatmosphere ' "
90 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
DOMESTIC BLISS.
Domestic (soliloquising) — "Well! I'm sure missus had
better give this new bonnet to me, instead of sticking such
a young-looking thing upon her old shoulders."
(The impudent minx has immediate warning.)
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
RETURNING FROM THE SEA-SIDE.— A LITTLE
COMMISSION.
" If you please, sir, — Mrs General Slowcoach's compliments,
and she says if you're going by the train this morning, she
would feel partickler obliged by your taking charge of this
little cask of sea-water as far as her 'ouse."
Q2 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A JOLLY DOG.
"'Look here, James ' Old missus is gone out of town, and
I've got her beast of a dog wot's fed upon chickings to take
care of. — Won't I teach him to swim, neether."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 93.
A BON-BON FROM A JUVENILE PARTY.
First Juvenile — "That's a pretty girl talking to young
Algernon Binks ! "
Second Juvenile — " Hm — Tol-lol ! You should have seen
her some seasons ago."
-94 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THROWING STONES THROUGH ICE.
A delightful recreation for youth, which combines healthful
-exercise with the luxury of window- breaking, without danger
or expense.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 95
TRUE RESPECTABILITY.
First Costermonger — " I wonder a respectable cove like you,
Bill, carries your own collyflowers ! Why don't yer keep a
carridge like mine ? "
Second Costermonger — " Why don't I keep a carridge !
Why because I don't choose to waste my hincum in mere
.show and fashionable display!"
96 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
b
A YOUNG GENTLEMAN AND SCHOLAR.
Fond Mother — " Why, he doesn't write very well yet, but
he gets on nicely with his spelling. Come, Alexander, what
does D-O-G spell ! "
Infant Prodigy (with extraordinary quickness). " Cat ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 97
PERFECT SINCERITY; OR THINKING ALOUD.
Medical Man — " Stupid old fool ! Why, there's nothing the
matter with him, except what arises from his over-eating and
drinking himself — only I can't afford to telJ him so."
98 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
PERFECT SINCERITY; OR THINKING ALOUD.
Mamma — "You are a disagreeable old bachelor, and
generally hate children, I know — but isn't dear little Worm-
wood a fine, noble little fellow?"
Old Gent. — " Well, if you want my candid opinion, I may
as well tell you at once — that I think him the most detestable
little beast I ever saw — and if you imagine I am going to
leave him anything because you have named him after me,
you are entirely mistaken."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 99
K^\L- • F, •
vV-\\^''J
^
N\V -
PERFECT SINCERITY; OR THINKING ALOUD.
" Are you going ? "
" Why, ye-es. The fact is, that your party is so slow and
I am weally so infernally bored, that I shall go somewhere
and smoke a quiet cigar."
" Well, good night, as you are by no means handsome a
great puppy, and not in the least amusing, I think it's the
.best thing you can do."
1OO
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
NO DOUBT.
"Now I dare say Bill, that air beast of a dog is a gooc
deal more petted, than you or I shall ever be
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 101
<-
VERY LOW PEOPLE.
Purveyor of Poultry — " What sort of people are they at
-number twelve, Jack ? "
Purveyor of Meat — " Oh! a rubbishin' lot. Leg o' mutton
.a' Mondays, and 'ash an' cold meat the rest o' the week."
102 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A WEIGHTY MATTER.
Cavalry Officer (who rides about five stone) — " I'm dooced
glad we are in the heavies, ain't you Charlie? It would be a
horrid bore to be sent out to the Cape like those poor light
Bobs."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 103
A CHEAP DAY'S HUNTING.
No. I.
First get your seasoned " screw."
104 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
* "i- ..
A CHEAP DAY'S HUNTING.
No. II.
About four miles " down the road " get properly splashed
at a public house.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 105
A CHEAP DAY'S HUNTING.
NO. in.
And return home smoking a cheroot, to the admiration of
the populace
106 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE GENTLE CRAFT.
Contemplative Man in Punt — " I don't so much care about
the snort, it's the delicious repose I enjoy so "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 107
APROPOS OF BLOOMERISM.
No. i (who is locking at the print of the bloomer costume)
— " Well now, upon my word, I don't see anything ridiculous
in it. I shall certainly adopt if
No 2 — " For my part, I so thoroughly despise conven-
tionality, that I have ordered all my things to be made in
that very rational style ! "
io8 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
ONE OF THE DELIGHTFUL RESULTS OF BLOOMERISM.
THE LADIES WILL POP THE QUESTION.
Superior Creature—'' Say ! Oh, say, Dearest ! Will you be
mine?
Dearest — " Ask Mamma.
BLOOMERISM IN A BALL-ROOM.
Bloomer—'1 May I have the pleasure of dancing the next
polka with you ? "
IQ LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
BARRACK LIFE.
First Heavy Swell (lately absent) — " Well, Gus my boy —
how did you keep it up here on Christmas clay?"
Second Do, — " Oh it was terribly slow — for all the world
like a Sunday without 'Bell's Life' ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS in
BON-BON FROM A JUVENILE PARTY.
Doctor — "Ahem! Well! And what's the matter with my
young friend Adolphus ? "
Fond Mother — "Why, he's not at all the thing, Doctor.
He was at a Juvenile party last night, where there was a
twelfth cake ; and it pains me to say, that besides eating a
great deal too much of the cake, he was imprudent enough to
eat a harlequin and a man on horse-back, and, I am sorry
to add, a Cupid and a birdcage from the top of it ! "
H2 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
DOMESTIC BLISS.
Head of tJie Family — " For what we are going to receive
make us truly thankful. — Hem ! cold mutton again."
Wife of his bussum — "And a very good dinner too,
Alexander. Somebody must be economical. People can't
expect to have Richmond and Greenwich dinners out of the
little house-keeping money I have."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 113
SOLICITUDE.
Child {screams on without any stops} — " Hanner Maria
yer tiresome Haggerwatin' little ussy come out of the road
do with yer little brother did yer want to be runned over
by Omnibustes and killed dead oh dear oh dear who'd be
a nuss ? "
8
n4 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
FLUNKEIANA.
Serious Flunkey — " I should require, madam, Forty Pounds
a year, two suits of clothes, two 'ats, meat and hale three
times a day, and piety hindispensable."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 115
A HORRIBLE BUSINESS.
Master Butcher — " Did you take old Major Dumbledore's
ribs to No. 12 ? "
Boy — " Yes, sir."
Master Butcher — " Then cut Miss Wiggles's shoulder and
«eck, and hang Mr Foodie's legs till they're quite tender!"
n6 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
J,
PUTTING HIS FOOT IN IT.
Little Hairdresser (mildly) — "Yer 'air's very thin on the-
top, sir."
Gentleman (of ungovernable temper) — "My hair thin on
the top, sir ? And what if it is ! Confound you, you puppy.
do you think I came here to be insulted and told of my
personal defects ? I'll thin your top ! ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 11;
FLUNKEIANA.
(Enter THOMAS, who gives warning?)
Gentleman — " Oh, certainly ; you can go of course ; but,
as you have been with me for nine years, I should like to
know the reason."
Thomas — " Why, sir, its my feelins. You used always to
read prayers, sir, yourself — and since Miss Wilkins has been
here, she bin a'reading of 'em. Now I can't bemean myself
.by sayin' ' Amen ' to a Guv'ness."
US LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
FLUNKEIANA.
Flunkey — " How dare you bring me a steel fork, sir ! '*
LEECH'S. HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 119
DOMESTIC BLISS.
Servant Maid — " If you please, mem, could I go out for
half-an-hour to buy a bit of ribbin, mem?"
120 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
SPLENDID DAY WITH THE "QUEEN'S."
First Sporting Snob — " Well, Bill, what sort of a day have
yer had ? "
Second ditto. — " Oh, magnificent, my boy ! I see the 'ounds
several times ; and none of yer nasty 'edges an' ditches,
cither ; but a prime turnpike road all the way."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 121
DOMESTIC BLISS.
Wife of your Bussitm — " Oh, I don't want to interrupt you,
•dear. I only want some money for baby's socks — and to
know whether you will have the mutton cold or hashed."
122 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
DOMESTIC BLISS.
Scene — THE KITCHEN.
Cook— "Who was that at
the door, Mary ? "
Mary — " Oh ! Such a nice- j js seen departing with what
spoken gentleman with mous- greatcoats and other trifles
Scene — THE HALL.
The nice-spoken gentleman
tachers. He's a'writin a letter
in the drawing room. He
says he's a old schoolfeller of
master just come from Ingia."
he may have laid his hands
uoon.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 123;
FLUNKEIANA.
Flunkey — " I beg your pardon, sir — but there is one thing"
I should like to mention at once. I am afraid — a — that I
am expected to clean the boots."
Gentleman — " Bless me ! Oh dear no ! There must b.t
some mistake ; I always clean them myself, and if you will
leave your shoes outside your door, I will give them a polish
at the same time."
12/1 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
FLUNKEIANA.
(Scene. — A public-house in Bury St. Edmunds.)
Country Footman meekly enquires of London Footman —
*' Pray, sir, what do you think of our town ? A nice place,
ain't it ? "
London Footman Condescendingly — "Veil, Joseph I likes
your town well enough. It's clean ; your streets are hairy ;
and you have lots of Rewins. But I don't like your
champagne ; it's all Gowsberry."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 125
SUBJECT FOR A PICTURE.
Irritable Gentleman disturbed by a bluebottle.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
. FISHING OFF BRIGHTON.
•' Oh yes ! It's very easy to say ' Catch hold of him ! ' '
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 127
FLUNKEIANA.
Lady — " You wish to leave — Really it's very inconvenient
Pray — have you an}' reason to be dissatisfied with your
place ? "
Flunkey — 'Oh, dear no, Ma'arn — not dissatisfied exactly.
But — a — the fact is, Ma'am, you don't keep no wehicle, and
J find I miss my carriage exercise."
128 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
AN ENTHUSIASTIC FISHER.
Just like my luck No sooner have I got
and settled down to a book, than there
comes a confounded bite ! "
"What a bore!
my tackle ready,
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 129
THE WORST OF EVENING PARTIES.
Ned — " Hallo Bill, are you going to the Eagle to-night ? "
Bill — " Why, no ! it's such a bore to dress."
9
130 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
-
SPORTING YOUTH WHO HAS LOST THE HOUNDS.
Youth — " Seen the hounds go through here, Pikey ? "
Pikey — " E-as, A have — tuppence ! "
Youth pays the twopence and gallops on.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 131
A LAPSE OF TWENTY MINUTES HAS TAKEN PLACE,
WHEN SPORTING YOUTH RETURNS.
Youth (in a high state of excitement) — " Why, confound
you ! I thought you told me that you had seen the hounds
go through here ? "
Pikey — " E-as, so a did. Seed 'em yesterday ! "
2 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
FLUNKEIAXA.
Gentleman—" Sixty Pounds a Year ! ! Why, man, are you-
aware that such a sum is more than is frequently given to a
curate ? "
Flunkey — " Oh, yes sir, but then you would hardly,. I hope,
go for to compare me with the henferior order of clergy."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 133
DOMESTIC BLISS.
Edwin — " Now, upon my life, Angelina, this is too bad — no
buttons again."
Angelina — "Well, my dear, it's of no use fidgetting me
about it. You must speak to Ann. You can't expect me to
do everything."
134 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE OPERA.
" Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you aint agoin' in
anain."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
HOW TO DRESS A LOBSTER.
Rude Boy — " Oh, look 'ere Jim ! — If 'ere aint a lobster bin
and out-growed his cloak ! "
136 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
AN EXCLUSIVE.
Enter small Swell (who drawls as follows) — " A — Bwown.
a — want some more coats."
Tailor — " Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. How many would you
please to have ? "
Small Swell — A — let me see, a' 11 have eight. A — no, a'H
have nine. Look here ! a — shall want some trowsers."
Tailor — " Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. How many would
you like?"
Small Swell — " A — I don't know exactly, Spose we say
twenty-four pairs ; and look here ! Show me some patterns
that won't be worn by any snobs ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 137
FLUNKEIANA.
Old Gent. — "Thomas I have always placed the greatest
confidence in you. Now tell me, Thomas, how is it that
my butcher's bills are so large, and that I always have such
bad dinners?'
Thomas — " Really, sir, I don't know. For I am sure we
never have anything nice in the kitchen that we don't always
send some of it up to the dining room."
138 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
SNOW-FLAKES.— NO. I.
Small Boy (to his natural enemy the Policeman)—" Snow-
balls, sir ! No sir ! I hav'nt seen no one throw no snowballs,.
sir ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 139
SNOW-FLAKES.— NO. II.
Street Boy — " Hoh ! Soosanner ! Don't yer cry for me !
Fol de rol de riddle lol. Here's a jolly slide. Cut away,
young 'un. It's all serene ! "
140 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
SNOW-FLAKES.— NO. III.
Playftil Youth—" Please, sir, I wasn't a heavin' at you- I
-as heavin' at Billy Jones."
was
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 141
LT
THE HAT-MOVING EXPERIMENT.
Algernon thinks that he has seen worse experiments.
i42 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A FALSE POSITION.
Gentleman (who is not over strong in his head, or firm on
his legs)—" D-d-d-d-id waltzing— ever— make— you— giddy ?
Because, I— shall — be — happy — to — sit — down —whenever
you're — tired ! "
Girl (who is in high dancing condition) — " Oh, dear, no— I
could waltz all night ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 143
SERVANTGALISM ; OR, WHAT'S TO BECOME OF
THE MISSUSES?
Servant Gal — "Well, Mam — heverythink considered— I'm
afraid you won't suit me. I've always bin brought up genteel :
and couldn't go nowheres where there ain't no footman kep '."
I4d LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
SERVANTGALISM; OR, WHAT'S TO BECOME OF
THE MISSUSES?
OldLaay—" What is it boy?"
Boy—" Please "m — it's a pair of white sating shoes, and the
lady's fan wot's bin mended — name of Miss Julier Pearlash."
Old £0^-"Miss !!!!!?????
Voice from Area—" Oh, it's all right, mum. It's me ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 145
SERVANTGALISM ;
OR, WHAT'S TO BECOME OF THE MISSUSES."
Servant Gal (who has quarrelled with her bread and butter)
— "If you please, ma'am, I find there's cold meat for dinner
in the kitchen. Did you expect me to eat it ? "
Lady — " Of course I expect you to eat it, and an excellent
dinner too "
Servant — "Oh, then, if you please 'm, I should like to leave
this day month."
IO
146 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE CAMP AT CHOBHAM— HOSPITALITY.
Officer — " Well, but look here, old fellow ; why not stop
all night?"
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 147
THE NEW BONNET.
Frederick — " There, now, how very provoking ! I've left
the prayer books at home ! "
Maria — " Well, dear, never mind ; but do tell noe is my
bonnet straight ? "
i48 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A GREAT MENTAL EFFORT.
First Cock Sparroiv — '; What a miwackulus tye, Fwank !
How the dooce do you manage it ? "
Second Cock Sparrow — "Yas. I fancy it is rather grand.
But, you see, I give the whole of my mind to it."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 149
\
CRUEL.
" Remember the steward, sir, if you please."
150 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A CAUTION TO LITTLE BOYS AT A FESTIVE
SEASON.
Mamma—" Why, my dearest Albert, what are you crying
for? — so good, too, as you have been all day ! "
Spoiled Little Boy— " Boo- hoo ! I've eaten so— m-much
be-ef and t-turkey, that I can't eat any p-plum p-p-pudding!"
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A PLAYFUL CREATURE.
Cabby — " Don't be alarmed, sir, it s only his play.
152 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A VERY VULGAR SUBJECT.
William — " Here's wishin' you good 'ealth Jim, and a
Happy New- Year."
James — "Thank'ye Bill, thank'ye. I had ought to be a
happy cove — for I have got a wife as can thrash any man
of her weight —and I've got a child of two years and an arf
as can eat two pounds of beef steak at a sitting — let alone
owning the smallest black and tan terrier in the world."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 153
STUDY OF AN ELDERLY FEMALE HAILING THE
LAST OMNIBUS.
i54 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A LARGE BUMP OF CAUTION.
Flora— -"Oh, let us sit here, Aunt, the breeze is so delightful."
Aunt — "Yes, Dove ! — It's very nice I dare say. But I won't
come any nearer to the cliff, for I am always afraid of slipping
through those railings."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 155
LATEST FROM PARIS.
Beautiful Being — " Well, I must say, Parker, that I like the
hair dressed a 1'imperatrice. It shows so much of the face.'
156 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A SERIOUS THREAT.
Unsophisticated Little Girl — " Now, you stop crying Billy,
If you ain't quiet directly, I'll give yer to this great, big
hugly man ! "
[Sensation of Swell in gorgeous array.]
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 157
A TRIFLE THE MATTER WITH THE KITCHEN.
BOILER.
COMPETITION.
" Want your door done, Mum I "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
GAMMONING A GENT.
Gent—" Ow much ? "
— '* Well ! I'd rather leave it to you, sir ! And what
we poor hansoms is to do when all you officers is gone abroad,
goodness knows."
,60 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
ENTER MR. BOTTLES, THE BUTLER.
Master Fred — " There ! that's capital ! Stand still, Bottles,
and I'll show you the Chinese knife trick."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 161
FLUNKEIANA— A FACT.
Flunkey (out of place) — " There's just one question I would
like to ask your ladyship. Ham I engaged for work, or ham
I engaged for ornament ? "
ii
162 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
RAILWAY SMOKING.
Undergraduate—1' You don't object to smoking I hope?"
Old Party—" Yes, sir, I object very much indeed !— in fact
I have the strongest objection to smoking ! !
Undergraduate— "Km I Ha! Some people have." (Smokes
for the next fifty miles).
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
HOW TO GET A CONNECTION.
Shopman (to ancient party) — "Yes Miss. Thank you Miss.
Is there any other article, Miss? Can we send it for you.
Miss?"
[Old lady thinks it is such a nice shop.]
164 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THINKING ALOUD.
Genius— "By the way, did you glance at that article of
mine on the intellect of woman? I don't care two pence
about your opinion. Only if you^ can say something favour-
able, of course, I shall be pleased "
Common Sense— "Well I tried it, but I found it such rubbish
that I couldn't get on. To tell you the truth, a little thing in
the cheesemongering line would be more in your way."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 165
S VU
A BRUTAL FELLOW.
Policeman — "Now, Mum. What's the matter? '
Injured Female — " If you please Mister, I want to give my
wretch of a 'usband in charge. He is always a knocking of
jne down and stampin' on me ! "
166 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A DELICIOUS SAIL OFF DOVER.
Old Lady — " Goodness Gracious, Mr Boatman ! What is
that?"
Stolid Boatman—" That Mum ! Nothin' Mum. Only the
artillery a practising and that's one of the cannon balls that
has just struck the water."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 167
DIVISION OF LABOUR.
Sportsman (in standing beans) — " Where to now, Jack ? "
jack — "Well! let's see. I should just go up the beans
again, and across the top end, beat round the other side and
round by the bottom, while you're there, get over and try
old Haycock's standing oats. I'll stop here and mark ! "
168 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A THOROUGH GOOD COOK.
Lady — " Then why did you leave your last place, pray ?"
Cook — " Well Ma'am, after I'm done work, I am very fond
of singing and playing on the accordium, and Missus hadn't
seem to like it — and so I gave notice ! '
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 169
BOTTOM-FISHING.
Piscator No. i (miserably) — " Now, Tom, do leave off. It
isn't of any use, and it's getting quite dark."
Piscator No. 2 — " Leave off ! ! VV hat a precious disagreeable
chap you are. You come out for a day's pleasure, and you are
always a wanting to go home."
ijo LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
FIRST NIGHT IN THE NEW HOUSE.
Awful discovery of black beetles.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 171
• NO OFFENCE.
Victim — " Hope you will not be offended, sir. But I should1
be very glad if you would settle my little bill up to Christmas."
Mr Dump — " Offended, my dear boy ! Not in the least !
But the fact is, I have suspended cash payments for some
time/
172 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
MATRIMONIAL SOLICITUDE.
Managing Mama — " Wy goodness, Ellen, how wretchedly
pale you look For goodness' sake bite your lips and rub
your cheeks."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 173
AQUATICS.
Who is this? Why, this is Mr John Chubb pulling one of
his long, slow, steady strokes. He is taking more pains than
usual, because those pretty girls in the round hats are sitting
on the lawn drawing from nature.
474 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
DIFFERENCE OF TASTE.
Chorus (of nice young ladies) — " Oh : of all and of all, I
never ! Isn't it the darlingest, sweetest, prettiest, dear little
darling, darling ! Oh ! did you ever ! ! "
Solo (by horrid plain spoken boy/) — " H'm ! I think it's
-a nasty, ugly little beast, for all the world like a cat or a
monkey."
[bensation.J
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 17$
{After a great deal of coaxing and persuasion, Master Tom is
prevailed on to pay a visit to the dentist. Inconsiderate
and vulgar street boys unfortunately pass at the moment.]
First Inconsiderate Street Boy — " Oh crickey ! If here ain't
a chap going to have a grinder out. My eye, what fangs ! I "
Second Ditto — "Oh, I would be 'im. Won't there be a
screw winch required neether ? "
(Of course Master Tom relapses into his previous very
obstinate state.)
176 LEEf'-H'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
[Tableau representing a young gentleman, who fancies he is
alone by the " Sad Sea Waves." He takes the opportunity
of going through the last scene of " Lucia."]
N.B. — The Young Gentleman's voice (which HE imagines
to be like Mario's) is of the most feeble and uncertain
quality.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 177
MISS BROWN KINDLY TAKES HER COUSIN OUT
FISHING.
Inferior Animal— " W& Dear! Cousin! here's a fish taken
all my bait. Do come and put on another worm."
12
i;8 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE WOMAN AT THE WHEEL.
THE FEMALE OF THE FUTURE.
Father of the Family — " Come, dear ; we so seldom go out
together now — cant you take us all to the play to-night?"
Mistress of the House and M.P. — " How you talk, Charles!
Don't you see that I am too busy ? I have a committee
to-morrow morning, and I have my speech to prepare for
the evening1 "
i8o LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
HOW COOL AND NICE THESE FRENCH-POLISHES
FLOORS ARE— BUT, OH DEAR, HOW VERY HARD'
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 181
VILLIKENS IN THE DRAWING ROOM.
Young Lady— "Now, William, you are not low enough
yet. Begin at « He took the cold Pizen.' "
182 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
WISE MAN.
When coals are so dear, it behoves every family man to
see that he gets the proper number of sacks for the money.
Paterfamilias does his duty like a man, although the coals
arrive just at his dinner-time, and the weather is rather
inclement.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 183
QUITE SAFE.
Stout Party — "Ahem ! I want to have a look at the hounds
to-morrow. Do you think that you have got anything that
would carry me ? "
Stable Keeper — " Well, sir ! I think I have two brown
osses — and an omnibus as perhaps might do it ! "
1 84 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A GREAT PROSPECT.
" What a stunning Meerschaum you have got, Charley ! "
" Yes, I think it will be handsome by the time I've properly
coloured it ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 185
A GORGEOUS SPECTACLE.
Sarah Jane — " Oh, Betsy, come 'ere, and bring Johnnie !
"Why, we can see the 'oofs of the 'orses ! "
i86 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
SOMETHING LIKE SPORT.
Jolly Angler— "Hooray, Tom! I've got one — and, my
word ! didn't he pull ? "
LEECHS HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 187
TRADE.
Commercial Gent — "This war, sir, will be a terrible hindrance
to all kinds of business."
Swell — " Aw — dessay ! d'lighted to hear it — a always had
the greatest aversion to all kinds of business."
188 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
--
DELIGHTFUL OUT-DOOR EXERCISE IN WARM
WEATHER.
Running amidst shouts of "Now then, butter-fingers"
"Oh! Oh!" — "Throw it in, look sharp!" — "Quick.' in
with it," <fec.. &c.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 189
SERVANTGALISM.
Housemaid — " Well, Soosan, I've made up my mind not to
stop 'ere no longer to work like negroes as we do."
Cook — " Nor I neither ! But just turn the meat, will you,,
please, the whilst I finish my crotchet ? "
190 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
SERVANTGALISM.
'Ousemade (from town) — " Is Han Jenkis at home ? "
Suburban Cook — " No ; she has just gone to her milliner's."
'Ousemade — "Then give her my card, please, and say,
I 'ope she got home safely from the ball."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 191
BIT FROM THE MINING DISTRICTS.
First—" Wu't tak thy quat off, then ? Oi tell thee Oi m
as good a mon as thee."
Second — " Thee a mon ! Whoy thee be'est only walking
about to save thy funeral expenses ! "
i92 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
BIT FROM THE MINING DISTRICTS.
First Polite Native — " Who's 'im, Bill ? "
Second Ditto — " A stranger ! "
First Ditto — "'Eave 'arf a brick at 'im."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 193
SERVANTGALISM.
Lady — " Wish to leave ! why Thompson, I thought you
were very comfortable with me ? "
Thompson who is extremely refined) — " Hoh, yes ma'am.
I don't find no fault with you ma'am. But the truth is,
ma'am, the hother servants is so 'orrid vulgar, and hignorant,
and speaks so hungrammatical, that I reely can't live in the
same 'ouse with them ! "
13
i94 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
DELIGHTFUL PRIVILEGE DURING WINTER MONTHS.
You may bathe in the Serpentine from 6 until 7 in the
morning, and 7 until 8 in the evening
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 195
SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE.
Biout Old Gentleman — " A shower-bath make your hair In
xa mess ! Not a bit of it, if you wear an oil-skin cap like
this, as I do."
1Q6 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
SURPRISE FOR TOMKINS.
Railway Porter — " Now then, sir ! By your leave ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 197
ALL RIGHT?
Master Tom (to old lady who is very nervous about fireN
" It's all right, Granma ! My candle is out I'm only smokm^
my usual weed."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
SEASIDE SATURDAY EVENING.
The Arrival of the " Husbands " boat.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 199
SERIOUS FOR THE MILITARY.
Edward (to his military cousin) — " No ! I shan't ! I shan't
go and shoot blackbirds ; and I tell you what, Master Charley,
you dragoon swells won't have such a pull on us civilians now,
lor we are all going to grow beards and moustaches."
200 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
FASHIONS FOR FAST MEN.
Tom — " Which do you like best for trousers, Bill ? Checks
or stripes? "
/?/'//—" Well, I think checks are uncommon superior, but
stripes is most nobby."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 201
A RARE TREAT.
Angelina — "Will my darling Edwin grant his Angelina
-a boon ? "
Edwin — "Is there anything on earth that Edwin would
not do for his pet ?— name the boon, oh, dearest — name it! "
Angelina — "Then, love, as we dine by ourselves to-morrow.
let us, oh ! let us have roast pork, with plenty of sage and
onions ! " *
202 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
ALAS FOR THE OLD INSTITUTIONS.
First Butcher-Boy — " So they've done away with Smithfel."
Second Butcher-Bey— -" Ah! they'll soon be bowling out
hall our old institoushuns."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 203
THE MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT.
" My eye, Tom ! What a 'orrid bore for the horficer
swells, now we've took to wearin' our moustarchers. The
gals can't tell hus from them now ! "
204 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
r r
\
WONDERFUL EFFECT OF ETHER IN A CASE OF
SCOLDING WIFE.
Patient — " This is really quite delightful — a most beautiful
dream."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 205
- V «*
^^^
^^<^K^£
'^sN&S^^
RATHER AWKWARD FOR TOM KINS.
Young Diana — " I think, sir, if you would be so good as-
go first and break the top rail, my pony would then get over."
206 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
SERVANTGALISM ; OR, WHAT'S TO BECOME OF THE
MISSUSES?
Servant Gal — " Oh ! if you please, mam, there was one other
thin I should like to have settled."
—11 Yes ? "
Gal — "Where do you go to the seaside in the summer?
because I couldn't stop at a dull place, and where the hair
-.wasn't very bracing ! ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 207
SAILING INSTRUCTIONS.
When the ship begins to roll, fix your gaze on some distant
•object, as Jones does — best plan for minimising sickness.
208 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A COUNTRY BALL.
First Amiable Lady (very loud) — " What a remarkably odd
set of people one meets at a county ball ! "
Second ditto — " Oh, very droll indeed ! "
Poor Little Swell — " Yeth ; and so thtwangely drethed ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 209
AFTER PARTAKING VERY HEARTILY.
Amiable Experimentalist — " Makes a delicious side dish,
doesn't it? But it is not the common mushroom. It is a
large fungus called the Agaricus Procerus."
[General panic takes place.]
2IO
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE INFLUENZA.
" This is really very kind of you to call. Can I offer you
anything— a basin of gruel, or a glass of cough mixture?
Don't say no."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 211
HOW TO FLATTER A GENT.
Mr Moses—" Got any old clothes, sir ? Any left-off uni-
forms, captain ? "
212 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
BEST FOOT FOREMOST.
French Official — " Have you
a passport ? "
English Gent — 'Nong, mos-
soo."
Official—" Your name ?''
Gent—" Belville."
Official—11 Christia nom ? '""
Gent—" 'Arry."
Official — !> Profession ? "
Gent—" Banker."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 213
THE RISING GENERATION.
Juvenile — " I wonder whether that girl has got any tin foi
I feel most owdaciously inclined to cut that fellow out"
214 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
MEETING HIM HALF-WAY.
Young Hopeful — " Well, it's of no use, governor ; I can't
stick to business. I want to be a soldier, and you must buy
me a commission."
Governor — " No, my boy ; I can't afford to buy you a com-
mission. But I'll tell you what I'll do. If you will go down
to Chatham and enlist, I will give you my word of honour I
won't buy you off."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 215
CONSOLS AT 90.
Husband — " Well, I declare I'm quite glad it's a wet day ;
it will be an excuse to stop at home with my darling little
pipsey-popsey. What do you say, Dicky ? Eh ? Pretty
Dick ! Pretty Dick ! "
216 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
CONSOLS AT 80.
Husband—"' Go out for a walk ! Nonsense ! I've something
else to do. I think, too, that you might pull down that blind,
unless you want the sun to spoil all the furniture. And, oh
dear, for goodness sake, do take that confounded canary out
of the room ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 217
A BRILLIANT IDEA.
Matilda — " Oh, look ye here, Tommy. S'pose we play at
your being the big footman, and me and Lizzerbuth '11 be the
fine ladies in the carriage ! "
2i8 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE RISING GENERATION.
First Juvenile (in trap) — " Well, Charley, you have had it
out with the old boy ? "
Second Juvenile — " Ya-as ; and — aw — what do you think
the undutiful old governor sa-ays ? "
First Juvenile — '• Haven't the least id-eaw."
Second Juvenile — "Why, he sa-ays I must do something to
get my own living ! "
First Juvenile — " Oh, Law ! What a horrid Ba\v ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 219
'-^-~. ~* ft J"V»**\^- i .* ^J I ,'-l
PREVENTION BETTER THAN CURE.
Paterfamilias insists that the girls shall wear very stout
boots in the wet weather. But the girls don't at all like " the
nasty, great, ugly, thick things ! "
220 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
HONEYMOON AT SEA.
\
" The happy pair then started for the Continent, via
Folkestone, to spend the honeymoon."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 221
P^^«m$ii
A REAL DIFFICULTY.
Irritated Swell—11 Ring ! Yes, of course, I rung ! How
do you suppose I'm to do my back hair with only one
candle ? "
222 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A CASE OF REAL DISTRESS.
Fox-Hunter—" Here's a bore, Jack ! The ground is half a
.foot thick with snow, and it's freezing like mad ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 223
LITERAL.
Young Lady — " Pray, cabman, are you engaged ? "
Cabman—" Lor' bless yer, miss; why, I've been married
this seven years."
224 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
GOOD SECURITY.
Boy - " Please, sir, give me a brown."
Swell — " Sixpence is the smallest money I have, my little
lad."
Boy — " Vel, sir, I'll get yer change ; and if yer doubts my
honour, hold my broom."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 225
ON THE MOORS.
Mr Puff— "My bird, I think."
Mr Muff—" Belongs to me, I fancy." &c., fee., &c.
226 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
SPEAKS FOR HIMSELF.
Buyer — " Is he well broke ? "
Seller—" Lor' bless ye ! Look at his knees ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 227
ONE OF THE FINE ARTS.
Mr Bungle always makes his flies on the bank of the stream.
Here is one of his most successful efforts
228 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
TABLE RAPPING.
" Do you believe in this table-rapping that there's such a
fuss about ? "
«Oh dear no ! Why, the other evening a table was asked
how old I was, and it rapped out forty ! Ridiculous, when L
am not three and twenty till next March ! '
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 229
A GOOD EDUCATION.
Father—" Well, Augustus, you have had a first-rate educa-
tion, and you must now choose a profession. Will you be a
lawyer, a doctor, or a parson ?"
Augustus—" No, I'll rather be a clown ! "
230 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE FINISHING TOUCH TO A PICTURE.
Artist—" Now, don't hesitate to say if you see anything I
can alter or improve."
" Patron—" Hm ! well ! no \ I don't see anything- except,
perhaps, you-a-might repaint the principal figures; and-
l— yes— I should certainly get a new background in.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 231
CLOSE OF THE SEASON.
The London footman exhausted,
232 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
BEGINNING FIRES FOR THE WINTER.
SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE CHIMNEY.
Sweep (log.) — " This chimley always was a bad un to smoke,
sir ; the party as lived here before you came had a deal of
trouble with it"
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 233
AN ASSOCIATION FOR THE ADVANCEMENT OF
SCIENCE ON AN EXCURSION.
234 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
BUSINESS LIKE.
" I say, Charley, don't you think you had better go back to
your customer ? "
Incipient Wine Merchant — " Not yet. Always gone a
quarter of an hour for the very old port— further end of the
cellar ! Cellar's very extensive ! Great care necessary, for
fear of disturbing the crust you know— et cetera. Twig ? "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 235
JACK ASHORE
Policeman — " Hollo, Jack. I suppose you're not sorry to
come on land for a bit ! "
Jack 'who hasn't got his shore legs yet) — " Well, it aint such
a bad place for a day or two, only it's so precious difficult to
walk straight."
236 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS (?).
First Old Foozle—" Would you like to see the paper, sir ?
There's nothing in it."
Second Old Foozle — " Then, what the devil did you keep it
so long for ? "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 237
PATERFAMILIAS SUPERINTENDS IN PERSON.
THE REMOVAL OF THE SNOW
FROM THE ROOF OF HIS HOUSE.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
PLEASING EFFECT BELOW.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 239
THE BATTLE OF THE PIANOS.
240 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
DELIGHTFUL FOR MOTHER.
Old Lady — " Ah ! I was just such another when I was her
age,"
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 241
A CAUTION DURING THE MISTLETOE SEASON
TO YOUNG GENTLEMEN WHO WEAR SHARP-
POINTED MOUSTACHES.
Pretty Cousin—" What a tiresome great awkward boy you
are ! J ust see how you have scratched my chin ! "
[Young gentleman apologises amply.]
16
242 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
SCENE : DRAWING ROOM.
[Enter Horrid Boy.]
Horrid Boy (capering about) — " Oh, look here, captain !
I've found out what Clara stuffs her hair out with. They're
whiskers like yours ! "
[Sensation.]
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 243
FRIEND, DOCTOR, AND WIFE.
Railway Official — '•' You'd better not smoke, sir. "
Traveller — " That's what my friends say."
Railway Official—"' But you mustn't smoke, sir."
Traveller — " So my doctor tells me."
Railway Official (indignantly) — " But you shan't smoke, sir."
Traveller — " Ah ! just what my wife says."
244 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A VISIT TO THE ANTEDILUVIAN REPTILES
AT SYDENHAM.
Master Tom strongly objects to having his mind improved^
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 245
THE TOO FAITHFUL TALBOTYPE.
Georgina (in riding habit)—" Well, dear, I declare, it's the
very image of you ! I never ! "
Sarah Jane (who insists upon seeing the plate)—" Like
me? For goodness sake, don't be ridiculous, Georgina. I
think it's perfectly absurd ! Why, it has given me a stupid
little turn-up nose, and a mouth that's absolutely enormous ! "
246 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
FALSE PRETENCES.
Young Lady (whose birthday it is) — " Oh, yes ! I have had
a great number of nice presents ; but I wonder who sent me
this beautiful bouquet."
Handsome Party (with moustaches, presence of mind, and
great expression of eye) — " And can't you guess ? " (Sighs
deeply).
[N.B. — Poor Binks, who was at all the trouble and expense
of getting the said bouquet from Covent Garden, is supposed
to be watching the effect of his gift with some anxiety.]
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 247
ANOTHER BIT FROM THE MINING DISTRICTS.
ist Collier — " Surrey, dust thee know the Bishop's coming
to-morrow ? "
2nd Ditto—" Wot's that ? "
ist Ditto (emphatically) — " The Bishop !"
snd Ditto — "Oi don't know what thee mean'st, but moy
bitch, Rose, shall pin her ! "
24S LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT.
Frederick — " Now, then, William, what are yer waitin' for?"
William — " Why, I was a thinkin' vether I should wear my
moustachers like this here or like that hare."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 249
LONG VACATION.
" Now then, Latitat, tuck in your six-and-eightpenny ! "
2<;o LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
AGRICULTURAL DISTRESS.
Young Farmer, No. I — " Well, Charley, have you had much
shooting lately ? "
Young Farmer, No. 2 — " Why, no : what with hunting two
days a week and coursing two days, I don't get much time to-
go out with a gun."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 251
FLUNKEIANA.
Flunkey (who does not approve of Bloomsbury) — " No,
ma'am, I don't objec' to the 'ouse, for it's hairey, and the
vittles is good ; but the fact is that all my connections live in
Belgravia!"
252 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE TICKET-SHOWING NUISANCE.
Now, we do hope that this old gentleman is not going to be
asked to show his ticket, because this old gentleman has just
packed himself up quite comfortably, and his ticket is in the
very innermost recess of his waistcoat pocket, and because,
you see, this is just the sort of old gentleman who is likely to
be much irritated by such a request at such a time.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 253
SCHOLASTIC.
Mother — " And pray, doctor, what are your terms for educa-
ting little boys ? "
The Principal — "Why, my dear madam, my usual terms
are seventy guineas per annum (to use the language of the
ancient Romans), but, to effect my object quickly, I would
take a few for what I could get, provided they be gentlemen,
like your dear little boy there. But (again to use the Latin
tongue) it is a sine qua non that they should be gentlemen ! "
254 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
PLEASURES OF HOUSEKEEPING.
When Mr Briggs left for the city in the morning, his gate
was clean, and just newly painted. On his return in the
evening, imagine his feelings on finding that all the juvenile
artists of the district had been busy with additional orna-
mentation.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 253
THESE HATS.
What happens with wearing these great round hats. Here's
Flora run right into the arms of young Horace Spanker, who
hasn't a penny.
256 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
RATHER ALARMING.
Lady— "You wished, sir, I believe, to see me respecting;
the state of my daughter's affections, with a view to a matri-
monial alliance with that young lady. If you will walk into
the library, my husband and I will discuss the subject with
you."
Young Corydon — " Oh, gracious I "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 257
THINKING ALOUD.
Railway Porter — " First class, sir ? "
Unfortunate Oxonian -" No ; plucked."
258 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
GENERAL THAW AND BURSTING OF THE WATER PIPES.
Great fun for Tommy.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 259
INNOCENT MIRTH.
The slide on the pavement.
260 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
FRIGHTFUL.
Clara "Well, Rose, dear, how do you feel after the
party?"
Rose—11 Oh, pretty well. Only I have had such a horrid
dream. Do y°u know> T dreamt that that §reat stuPid
Captain Drawler upset a dish of trifle over my new lace
dress 1 "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 261
BACHELOR HOUSEKEEPING.
Mr Brown — " Pray, Jane, what on earth is the reason I am
Icept waiting so long ? "
Jane — '~ Please, sir, the rolls isn't come, and there is no
bread in the house ! "
Mr Brown — •' Now, upon my word ! How can you annoy
me with such trifles? No bread? Then, bring me some
•toast."
[Exit Jane in dismay.]
262 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE SENSATIONAL.
Neivs-vendor — " Now, my man, what is it ? "
Boy — " I vonts a nillustrated newspaper with a norrid
murder and a likeness in it."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 263
EARLY IN THE MORNING.
Oh, dear! that regular family next door are having their
chimney swept again.
264 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
MORAL INFLUENCE OF EXECUTIONS.
" Where 'ave we bin ? Why, to see the cove 'ung, to be
sure."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 265
NO CONSEQUENCE.
'•' I say, Jack, who's that come to grief in the ditch ? "
" Only the parson."
"Oh, leave him there, then. He won't be wanted until
next Sunday."
266 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE FIRST OF SEPTEMBER.
Mr Briggs tries his shooting pony.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 267
TWO ASPECTS.
Soldier — " Now. then ! You must move away from here.'
Rude Boy—" Ah ! But you musn't, old feller ! "
268 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE POLICE.
" I tell yer what, Bill ; I think the police are a bad lot; and
I wish they was done away with altogether."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 269.
WOMEN AND FREEMASONRY.
Affectionate Little Wife (who has made many abortive
attempts to fathom the secrets of Freemasonry)—" Well, but,
dear, tell me one thing. Do they put you into a coffin ? "
270 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
DID YOU EVER!
Friend — " Well, Sprat, my boy, and how do you get on now
you're married ? "
Sprat — " H'm ! pretty bobbish. But there's one thing makes
it dooced uncomfortable sometimes — entre nous— Mrs S. is so
•confoundedly jealous of me ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 271
„ •- VNX'-*
AWFUL RESULT OF GIVING A SEASON TICKET
TO YOUR WIFE.
Mary — " Please, sir, cook's gone hout for a holiday ; and
missus didn't say nothing about no dinner, sir. Missus went
early to the Exhibition with some lunch in a basket, and said
she shouldn't be home until tea-time."
2J2 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
SUCH A LARK!
Ingenious Youth — "Oh, such a lark, Bill! I've bin and
filled an old cove's letter-box with gooseberry skins and
h oyster shells, and rapped like a postman ! "
Old Cove—" Have you ? "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 273
FROM THE MINING DISTRICTS.
AN ATTEMPT AT CONVERTING THE NATIVES.
Assiduous Young Curate—" Well, then, I do hope I shall
have the pleasure of seeing both of you next Sunday."
Miner—" Oi, thee may'st coam if 'e wull. We foiVht on the
croft, and old Joe Tanner brings th' beer."
18
274 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
MODERATE TERMS.
[Enter costermonger— to old lady passionately fond of flowers.]
Coster— •" 'Scuse me, marm, but did yer want yer green-
'ouse smoked ? No charge ; only to find the 'bacca, and a
drop of sumthin' to drink."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 275
FINE BUSINESS, INDEED! THE WRETCH!
Master of the House—- Oh, Mary, what is there for dinner
to-day ?
Mary—" I think, sir, it's cold mutton, sir."
Master of the House-" Wm\ Oh! Tell your mistress when
she comes m that I may possibly be detained in the city on
business, and she is on no account to wait dinner for me "
276 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
OLD CLOTHES!!
Young Sholomunsh (to young Snobley, who is attired in his
very best) " Now, sir ! Let me shell you a nish shuit of
closhe. Make yer good allowance for the old uns yer've got
on
[Snobley's feelings may be imagined.]
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 277
SERVANTGALISM :
OR WHAT'S TO BECOME OF THE MISSUSES?
Cook — " Well, to be sure, mum ! Last place I were in,
missis always knocked at the door afore she come into my
.kitchen ! "
278 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
\ >
HOW DISAGREEABLE THE BOYS ARE!
Boy — "My eye, Tommy! there's the helephant from the
S'logical Gardens going a-skating ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 279
THE RISING GENERATION.
Old Gentleman — " Bless my heart ! This vibration of the
carriage is very unusual ! Pray, my little man, have you any
apprehension of accidents on railways ? "
Juvenile — " Oh, none in the least, and especially with such
a fat old buffer as you to be shot against ! "
28o LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
POOR MUGGINS.
Smythe (to Muggins, who in the heat of the moment has
been drinking his wine out of tumblers) — " There, my boy!
that's such a glass of champagne as you don't get every day ;
and between you and me — (very confidentially) — between —
you — and — me — I only gave four and twenty shillings a dozen
for it!"
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 281
OUR LITTLE FRIEND, TOM NODDY, THINKS THE SEA-
WATER WILL DO HIS MARE'S LEGS A
WORLD OF GOOD.
282 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
COARSE, BUT CHARACTERISTIC.
Cabman (whose temper has been ruffled by omnibus man)
— "You! Why, you hungry looking wagabun, you look as
if you'd bin locked up for a month in a cook's shop with a.
muzzle on.'
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 283
OLD LADY AND LEVELLER.
Engineer — " Don't be alarmed, ma'am ; it's only a dumpy
leveller."
Old Lady — " Law ! Dear now ! Well, I'm sure ! I thought
it was a blunderbust. But don't fire it off, young man, till
I've got by, for I was always terrible feared of guns."
284 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A PERFECT WRETCH.
Wtfe—M\\hy dear me, William ; how time flies ! I declare,
AVC have been married ten years to-day ! "
Wretch — " Have we, love ? I am sure, I thought it had
been a great deal longer."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 285.
THE MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT.
Wkipper — " Well, I wear mine because it saves trouble, and
is so very 'ealthy."
Snapper — " Hah ! Well, there aint no humbug about me ;.
I wear mine because they looks 'ansom and goes down with,
the gals."
286 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
LIFE IN LONDON.
Isabella—'- Well, aunt, and how did you like London ? I
suppose you were very gay ? "
Aunt (who inclines to embonpoint) — " Oh. yes, love, gay
enough. We went to the top o' the Monument o' Sunday,
.and to the top o' St. Paul's o' Tuesday, and to the top o' the
Book o' York's Column o' Wednesday; but I think altogether
1 like the quiet of the country."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 287
AT THE CRIMEA.
" Well, Jack, here's good news from home We're to have a
medal."
" That's very kind. Maybe one of these days we'll have a
•coat to stick it on ! "
288 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
£3?*
'/.
FRIENDLY, BUT VERY UNPLEASANT.
Lively Party (charging elderly gentleman with his umbrella),
-tt Hullo, Jones ! "
[Disgust of elderly party, whose name is Smith.]
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 289
KEEPING STEP.
First Militiaman — " Jim, you hain't in step."
Second ditto—" Bain't I ? Well, change your'n.
290 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT.
Railway Official (waking old gent from a sweet sleepV
'• Tickets, please ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 291
TOO BAD.
Rude Boy — " Ah ! here's the p'leece a comin'. Won't you
xiatch it for sliding on the pavement 1 "
292 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
X ' Y ;; •• (ill
PRUDENT RESOLVE.
Little Party— -" Go and walk in Hyde Park? Oh! ah !^ F
dessay! and get mistaken for a haristocrat ! No, thank'e;;.
not if I know it."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 293
DISGUSTING FOR AUGUSTUS.
Augustus (who was rapidly coming to the point) — " Then,
Emily! — oh, may I call you Emily? — sweetest! best! say
that you will not go without "
Fish- Woman (cuts in) — " Any feesh to-day, marm ? — any
mackerel, soles, or whiting? "
294 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
ipn
SERVANTGALISM.
Mistress — " Not going to remain in a situation any longer \
Why, you foolish things, what are you going to do, then ? "
Eliza— "Why, ma'am, you see, our fortune-teller say that
two young noblemen is a-going to marry us, so there's no call
to remain in no situations no more ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 29;
FLUNKEIANA RUSTICA.
Mistress — " Now, I do hope, Samuel, you will make yourself
tidy, get your cloth laid in time, and take great pains with
your waiting a table."
Samuel ''who has come recently out of a strawyard) — Yes,
m'. But pleaz, m', be oi to wear my breeches ? "
296 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A FACT.
Mistress — " I think, cook, we must part this day month."
Cook fin astonishment) — " Why, ma'am ? I am sure I've
let you have your own way in most everythink! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 297
U MMW^?\S ^-^ J' _^ ? .. o>vV ~~t2\~-*'i r\ *^T
: • ; "^r^aMiiSi^^lwi?"
IN HOPE.
Mr B as he appeared from six in the morning till three In
-the afternoon, when —
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
HOPE REWARDED.
Having hooked a " fish," he is landed to play it. The fislr
runs away with him, and Mr B. is dragged about a mile and a-
half over what he considers a rather difficult country.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 2ox
NOT TO BE DAUNTED.
The fish, having refreshed himself and recovered his spirits
bolts again with Mr B.
300 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
HOPE AND FEAR.
On arriving at " Hell's Hole," he is detained for three-
quarters of an hour while the fish sulks at the bottom.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
MOST PROVOKING.
After a long and exciting struggle, Mr B. is on the point of
landing his prize, when — the line unfortunately breaks ! "
302 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
NEVER SAY DIE.
However, in much less time than it has taken to make this
imperfect sketch, accoutred as he is, he plunges in, and, alter
a desperate encounter, secures a magnificent salmon, for
which, he declares, he would not take a guinea a pound ; and
it is now stuffed in the glass case over the one which contains
Jlis late favourite spotted hunter.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 303
MARRY ON ,£300 A-YEAR j
Passer-by (to the crossing-sweeper) — " What's all this
about ? "
Sweeper — " Well, sir, I believe it's a. kind of wedding ; but
it aint likely to be an 'appy union —only two broughams and
a hack cab ! "
304 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE HUSBAND AS HE OUGHT NOT TO BE.
[Isn't it so, my dears ?]
Angelina — " Well, E., you don't say a word about my
dress."
Edwtn—"}L\\, what ? Oh, ugh ! H'm— beautiful, beautiful
beautiful ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 30$
FAIR AND EQUAL.
Sister — " Not give a ball, Charles ! Fiddle ! Why not ?
I tell you what. If you will find the room, and the music,
and the supper, and the champagne, and the ices, I'll find the
ladies ! Come, now ! "
10
306 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
Mrs
A VERY PARTICULAR PARTY.
-" Oh, here you are at last. Now, you must
come and dance this waltz with a friend of mine. Charming
girl, I assure you ! "
Mr (who prides himself upon his dancing) — " Haw !
thank you ; you're very good ! But I never waltz with strange
girls. I don't mind giving her a quadrille first, just to see how
she moves ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 307
COMPARISONS.
Party (who of course, doesn't think himself good-looking) —
Really, Clara, I can't think how you can make a pet of such
n ugly brute as an Isle of Skye terrier."
308 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
GOOD LOOKING.
' The traveller, wearied with the noonday heat, need never
be at a loss to find rest and refreshment. Stretched upon the
softest and cleanest of matting, imbibing the most delicately
flavoured tea, inhaling through a short pipe the fragrant
tobacco of Japan, he resigns himself to the ministrations of a
bevy of fair damsels, who glide rapidly and noiselessly about,
the most zealous and skilful of attendants." — Times, November
2, 1858.
And by all means let us have Japanese manners and
customs here.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 309
A CAUTIOUS BIRD.
Young Lobkins — " Well, I don't know about marryin', for,
yer see, after the knot was tied, some other gal might be Tallin'
in love with one, and that would be so dooced awkward ! "
Jio LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
PLEASING DELUSION IN RE THE ROUND HATS.
Female — " Well, there can be no question about one thing
they certainly do make you look younger ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 311
ROASTED CHESTNUTS.
Mr Hobble- de-Hoye — " I'm very fond of 'em. There's no
one looking ! Don't see why I shouldn't. I will ! Yes ; 111
have a penn'orth ! "
312 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
"WHERE IGNORANCE IS BLISS 'TIS FOLLY TO BE
WISE !"
(NEW VERSION.)
" I say, Jim, vot's a panic?"
" Blow'd if I know ; but there's one to be seen in the city *
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 313
PRIVATE OPINION.
Little Shrimp ton — " Hah ! they may laugh ; but I mean to
•say that the beard is a great ornament, and gives dignity to
the human figure ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
ALWAYS BE POLITE WHEN TRAVELLING.
Affable Young Gent (who is never distant to strangers)—
« Would you like to see Bell's Life, sir ? There's an out-and-
out stunning mill between Conkey Jim and the porky one !
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 315
TAKEN ABACK.
Fred (affectionately taking the arm of his friend Harry, as
he thinks) — " Oh ! Do look at these beautiful diamonds.
How well they would become your sweet sister! "
CoalJieaver — " Come, now ! Walker ! "
316 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
NICELY CAUGHT.
It was in August or September Cwe forget which) that
Amelia's scarf caught Henry's button, and now— they are
married. Wasn't it odd ?
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 317
PERFECTLY DREADFUL.
Guard — " Now, sir, if you're going on by the express^
Here's just room for one."
Tourist — " Wha-t ! Get in with hawwid old women and
squeeming children ! By Jove ! you know 1 I say ! it's im-
pawsible, you know ! "
3i8 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
CUPID AT SEA.
Angelina (to Edwin, whose only chance is perfect tranquility)
— " Edwin, dear ! If you love me, go down into the cabin and
fetch me my scent bottle, and another shawl to put over my
feet ! "
fEdwin's sensations are more easily imagined than described.]
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 319
VERY CONSIDERATE.
Steward — " Will either of you, gentlemen, dine on beard ?
There's a capital hot dinner at three o'clock.
:2o LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A RAILWAY COLLUSION— A HINT TO STATION
MASTERS.
Porter — "Now, then, Bill ! Are you off?"
Cab Ruffian — " No ; what sort of fare is it ? "
Porter — " Single gent with small bag."
Ruffian — " Oh, he won't do ! Can't yer find us a old lady
and two little gals with lots of boxes ? I'm good for a pint! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 321
PATIENCE REWARDED.
Piscator — " Ah ! Hah ! Got you at last, have I ? And a
fine week's trouble I've had to catch you ! "
21
322 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A SKETCH FROM THE STAND AT SCARBORO'.
Fair Equestrian—" Oh, I want to ride on the sands with
this little boy. Have you a horse disengaged for him ? Any
bit of a pony thing, you know, will do for me !"
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 323
ASTOUNDING ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE SMALL
COUNTRY BUTCHER.
(Who does not often kill his own meat).
Maid — " Please, ma'am, Mr Skewer says he's a-going to
.kill hisself this week, and will you have a joint ?"
324. LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
OFFENDED DIGNITY.
Small Swell (who has just finished a quadrille) — " H'm !"
Thank goodness, that's over ! Don't give me your bread-and-
butter misses to dance with. I like your grown women of the
world ! "
[N.B. — The bread-and-butter miss has asked him how old
Le was, and when he went back to school.]
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 325
AMATEUR PANTOMIME.
How does the butler like theatricals ?
526 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
REMARKABLE OCCURRENCE.
On the morning after the dispensary ball, as Emily Deux-
temps and Claia Polkington were sitting in the plantation,
who should come to the very spot but Captain Fastman and
young Reginald Fipps !
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 327
YOUNG UPHOLSTERERS.
A discreet friend having presented Master Tom with a
tool-box as a New Year's gift, the furniture is put into thorough
repair.
328 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE VALENTINE.
Little Foot Page — "I say, Maria, what's a rhyme to Cupid ?"
Maria—11 Why, stupid rhymes to Cupid ; don't it, stupid ?"
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 329
TRUE GALLANTRY.
" If you want a thing done, do it yourself." Never disturb
the maids in the morning, but jump out of bed the moment
you hear the sweep, and let him in ; it isn't much trouble, and
saves a world of grumbling.
330 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
SELF-HELP.
" If you want a thing done, do it yourself." Having
thoroughly dressed and fed the horses, you had better set to
work upon the boots of the establishment. The knives, as
you have a machine, you may as well do. And, while your
hands are soiled, you had better help Alphonso to carry up-
some coals.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 331
STARTLING ADVICE.
Studious Boy — " Johnny, I advise you not to be a good
boy!"
Johnny—" Why ! "
Studious Boy — " Because in books all good boys die, you
know ! "
332 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
EARLY RESPONSIBILITY.
Cousin Harriet " Well, Alfred, will you stop and have
some tea with us ? "
Alfred — "Haw! you're very good, I'm sure; but I've got
to take the children to see the pantomime ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 333
A MORAL LESSON FROM THE NURSERY.
Arthur — "Do you know, Freddy, that we are only made ot
dust!"
Freddy — " Are we ? Then, I'm sure, we ought to be very
careful how we pitch into each other so, for fear we might
crumble each other all to pieces ! "
334 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE BLOATED ARISTOCRAT.
Boy—" Oh ! look 'ere, Bill ! 'Ere's a bloated haristocrat
There's no one looking. Let's punch his 'ed ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 335
MARRIED FOR MONEY.— THE HONEYMOON.
" Now, then, darling, put away your paper, and we'll have a
nice long walk, and then come back to tea in our own little
cottage, and be as happy as two little birds ! " said the fair
bride.
" Oh ! hang it ! " mentally ejaculated the captain.
336 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
UNDER THE MISTLETOE.
Miss Gushington — " Oh, don't you like Christmas time, Mr
Brown, and all it's dear old customs ?"
[Brown don't seem to see it.]
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 337
ALARMING PROPOSITION.
Oyster Man (to hairy gents.) — " Oysters, sir ! Yes, sir f
Shall I take yer beards off? "
[Gents, have an uncomfortable idea that they are being
chaffed.]
22
338 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
YOUNG LADY OF THE PERIOD.
Fast Young Lady (to old gent.)-" Have you such a thing
s a lucifer about you, for I've left my cigar lights at home?
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 339
SERVE HIM RIGHT.
Swell (who, when he is asked to dine at half-past six
thinks it fine to come at half-past eight) — " Haw ! I'm afraid
you've been waiting dinner for me ! "
Lady of the House—" Oh, dear, no! we have dined some
time ! Will you take some tea ? "
340 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
EVERYTHING IN ITS PLACE.
It is quite possible to have too much of a good thing — asr
for example, when you get the asparagus shot over your
favourite dress coat with the silk facings.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 341
A HINT TO GENTLEMEN.
CAUTION TO GENTLEMEN WALKING TO EVENING
PARTIES.
Don't forget to take off your goloshes and turn down youi
trousers before entering the room.
342 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A HINT TO RAILWAY TRAVELLERS.
By breathing on the glass, and holding a speaking doll by
way of baby to the window, you may generally keep your
compartment select.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 343
OH, YES; OF COURSE.
Lissie — " Oh, Mr Poffles, I find I have made a mistake ; I
see I was engaged for this dance."
344 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE QUADRILLE IN HOT WEATHER.
Stout Party (who suffers much from heat, and has in vain
attempted to conceal himself)—" Oh, I believe we are engaged
for this dance. I've been — that is — I've — eh — I've been look-
ing for you — a — a — everywhere — phew ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 345
THE NEW REGULATION MESS.
Swell Soldier — " What ! dine off woast and boiled, just like
.•snobs ! No, by Jove ; 1 shall cut the army and go into the
church ! "
346 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A PAINFUL SUBJECT.
Lieutenant Fopsom (of the I2ist to his elder brother, who-
is home for the holidays) — " A-say, old fellah ! don't you wish
you had left school? It must be such a horrid baw to be
tlogged for smoking ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 347
PHOTOGRAPH BEAUTIES.
" I say, mister, here's me and my mate wants our fotergruffs
took ; and, mind, we wants 'em 'ansom' cos they're to give to
two ladies."
348 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE OPERA.— No. i.
Lizzie — " Good gracious, Selina ! look there ! There's that
ridiculous little man again. Did you ever see anything so
absurd?"
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 349
THE OPERA.— No. 2.
Busby — "Ah, there she is, bless her! And looking this
way, too. Oh, it's as clear as possible she has taken a fancy
to me ! "
350 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A SKETCH AT A RAILWAY STATION.
Respectable Citizen (reads placard) — " The public arc
cautioned against card-sharpers, gamblers, and pickpockets !
. . . . Why, I thought such people was all done away
with. Didn't you, Mo ? "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 351
HI' ART.
Parent — " I should like you to be very particular about the
hair."
PJiotographic Artist ( ! ) — " Oh, mum, the :air is
enough ; it's the hi's where we find the difficulty."
352 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
• FLUNKIEANA.
Lady of the House — " Oh, Thomas, have the goodness to
take up some coals into the nursery."
Thomas — " H'm, Ma'am ! If you ask it as a favour, ma'am,
I don't so much object ; but I 'ope you don't take me for ar»
"ousemaid, ma'am ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 353
SERVANTGALISM.
Mistress — " Why, nurse, what a terrible disturbance ! Pray,
what is the matter ? "
Nurse ( addicted to pen and ink) — " Oh, mum, it's dreadful !
Here's neether me nor Mary can't answer none of our letters
for the racket ! "
23
354 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
SYMPTOMS OF HARD READING.
Student— "Ok, Mary, have you taken up the lamp and the
cigars ? "
Mary— "Yes, sir."
Student—" And the whiskey, and the sugar, and the lemon,
and boiling water ? "
Mary — " Yes, sir."
Student— "Then, come, Jack; suppose we go into
study ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 355
THE STOUT LADY.
Cabby — " Let yer out ? That's a good un ! Not afore you
pays for breaking my springs."
3$6 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
HEAD OF THE HOUSE No. i.
Mr Peewit has a little addition to his family. He is obliged
to get his meals anyhow — and —
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 357
HEAD OF THE HOUSE No. 2.
Abdicates in favour of the real master of the house.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
MILK VERSUS WATER.
Cook—" Fine day, Mr Chalks."
Mr Chalks — " Yes, Cookey, it's a very fine day ; but if we
haven't some rain soon, 1 don't know what we shall do for
milkl"
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 359
THRILLING DOMESTIC INCIDENT.
Master Alfred — "Don't, baby! You'll spoil it ! Leave
go, sir ! Here, nurse, he's swallowing my new watch ! "
360 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
VERY ARTFUL CONTRIVANCE.
Clara — " Why, dear me ! what do you wear your hat in the
water for ? "
Mrs Walrus — " Oh, I always wear it when I bathe ; for
then, you see, dear, no one can recognise me from the beach ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 361
A WINDY DAY.
Some like one thing, and some another. For example
Jack likes a blow on the north cliff.
362 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
COMMON OBJECTS AT THE SEASIDE.
—" Oh, look here, ma ! I've caught a fish just like those
thingamies in my bed at our lodgings ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 363
ASTONISHING A YOUNG ONE.
Dick (to his little brother)—" Hah ! This is one of the
disagreeables in being grown up. Why, bless you, if I didn't
shave twice a day this warm weather, I should not be fit to
be seen ! "
364 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
AWKWARD PREDICAMENT.
Young Sparrow — "Oh, I'm sorry to trouble you, uncle;
but could you lend me a razor? My confounded fellow
hasn't packed up my dressing-case ! '
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 365
A NOTION OF PLEASURE.
Boy - " Oh, come here, Tommy ! Here's such a lot o' grains
bin shot down here ! Let's turn 'ead over 'eels in 'em ! "
366 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A BAD TIME FOR JOHN THOMAS.
Rude Boy — " I say, Jack, ain't he a fine un ? D'ye think
he's real, or only stuffed ? "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 367
LEARNING TO SWIM.
Bathing Woman — " Teach yer to swim ? Lor' bless ye, my
love, why, of course, I can ! "
368 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
ON THE ROOF.
Mrs Pottles sees no reason why she shouldn't go out on
the roof of her house to see the fireworks.
LEECH S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 369
NOTHING BUT EATING.
Sensitive Young Lady — " Poor creatures ! Nothing but
eating and sleeping ! What a dreadful existence ! "
Stout Youth — " Dreadful existence ! Oh, ah ! I daresay.
Why, that's just the very thing of all others I should like the
best!"
24
3/o LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
LIVELY FOR JONES.
Pheasant shooting. A Warm Corner.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
VERY ODD.
Lecturer on Electro- Biology — " Now, sir, you can't jump
over that stick ! Ahem !
Subject — "Jump! Eh! Ugh! Lor' bless me, jump ? No,
I know I can't. Never could jump. Ugh ! "
[Thunders of applause from the Gentlemen in the cane-bottom
chairs — i.e., believers.]
372 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
' JiS: s
V ...
WHOLESOME FEAST.
Jessie— "And so, Walter, you have little parties at your
school, eh ? "
Walter " Ah ! don't we, just 1 Last half there was Charley
Bogle, and George Twister, and me. We joined, you know.
and had two pounds of sausages, cold, and a plum-cake, and
a barrel of oysters, and two bottles of currant wine ! Oh, my
eye ! wasn't it jolly, neither
LEECH S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 373
OF A VERY STUDIOUS TURN.
Mamma — " Who is this hamper for ? Why, for poor Jerry,
•who is at school, you know."
Darling (reflectively) — "Oh, don't you think, ma, I had
better go to school ? "
374 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A VERY GREEN-EYED MONSTER.
First Juvenile — " I wonder what can make Helen Holdfast
polk with yon Albert Grig?"
Second ditto — " Don't you know ? Why, to make me
jealous. But she had better not go too far ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 37>
JUVENILE DISSIPATION.
The day after the juvenile party. Awful appearance of the
doctor.
376 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
NONE BUT THE BRAVE DESERVE THE FAIR.
Augustus — " Now I've got you ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 377
TIT FOR TAT.
Gent, on horseback — " Get out of the way, boy ! Get out of
the way ! My horse don't like donkeys ! "
Boy — " Doan't he ? Then, why doan't he kick thee off? "
378 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
SOLICITUDE.
Wife — " Now, promise me one thing, Adolphus. You won't
go flying over any hedges or five- barred gates ?"
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 379
SKELETONS.
Stout Gent. — " Dear ! dear ! So he has formed an attach-
ment that you don't approve of! Ah, well ! there's always
something. Dt pend upon it, ma'am, there's a skeleton some-
where in every house ! ''
380 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE.
Tomkins retires to a secluded village that he m.iy grow his
moustaches, and so cut out his odious rival, Jones. Jones, it
so happens, has come to the same place with the same object.
[Frightful meeting.]
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 381
AN ELEGANT ROW ABOUT A MACHINE.
382 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
WHAT A TERRIBLE TURK!
" Oh, here's a jolly snowball ! Let's take and put it agin
somebody's door ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 383
A SAFE CONVOY.
Small S'Meeper (to Crimean hero) — " Now, captain, give us
a copper, and I'll see yer safe over the crossing ! "
384 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
IMPERTINENT CURIOSITY.
Military Man— "Well, what are yer a-starin' at? Ain't
yer never seed a sodger before ? "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 385
-\\ ;,( i\v,
1 \\ ' !l ! V
TICKLED WITH A STRAW.
Advertising Medium — "Come, now, you leave orf, or I'll
call the perlice ! "
25
386 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
HORRIBLE QUESTION AFTER A GREENWICH
DINNER.
Foot- Boy— " If you please, sir, cook told me to ask you what
fish you'd like to-day."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 387
TOUCHING APPEAL.
. Testy Old Gent, (wearied by the importunities of the
Brighton boatmen) — c: Confound it, man ! Dp I look as if I
-wanted a boat ? "
388 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A GREAT MISTAKE.
Youth— K Here's a nuisance, now ! Blowed if I ain't left my-
cigar-case on my dressing-room table, and that young brother
of mine will have all my best regalias !"
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 389
ITS THE EARLY BIRD THAT PICKS UP. THE
WORM.
Piscator — " There, Thomas, you now see the advantage of
early rising. I have got the very best place on the water, and
I'll be bound to say the other subscribers are not out of bed
yet ! "
390 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
SERIOUS THING FOR BROWN,
Who rather prides himself upon the elegant manner in which
he takes off his hat. This time, however, although the hat is
removed, the lining sticks.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 391
THE MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT.
Alphonso — "You find your moustachers a great comfort,
don't you, Tom ? "
Tom — " Well — yes. But I'm afraid I must cut 'em, for
one's obliged to dress so dooced expensive to make everything
accord ! "
392 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE BEARD MOVEMENT.
Young Snobley (a regular lady-killer)- " How the gals do
stare at ones beard ! I suppose they think I'm a horficer just
come from the Crimear ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 393
CONSOLATION.
Young Snobley — "Ah, Jim! noble birth must be a great
advantage to a cove ! "
Jim (one of Nature's nobility) — " H'm ! P'raps ! But,
-egad ! personal beauty aint a bad substitute ! "
394 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
FORTUNATE FELLOWS.
Stalwart Briton—" I tell yer what, Bill. We ought to be
very thankful we're Englishmen, for, whether it's the climate
or whether it's their habits, just see how those Americans are
degenerating ! "
LEECH S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
PURSUIT OF PLEASURE.
The next best thing to keeping your own hunters is to hire
" made horses " that thoroughly know their business.
396 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A DOMESTIC EXTRAVAGANZA.
Mamma — " Why, good gracious, nurse ! what's the matter
with Adolphus ? He looks very odd ! "
Nurse— "And well he may, mum! For he thought the
coloured balls in Miss Charlotte's new game of solitaire was
bull's eyes, and he's swallowed ever so many of 'em ! "
LEECH S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 397
SISTERLY LOVE.
Papa — " There, there ! my little poppet. Don't cry ! Don't
cry ! If you are going to have the measles, you will soon be
well again, I hope. There, there !
BlancJu (sobbing violently) — "I — I — I — I'm not crying,
papa, because I'm going to have the measles, but because I
— 1 — I thought I was going to ride Mary's pony all the time
she was ill, and now I shan t ! "
398 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
FREEZING.
Disgusting Boy — " I say, ^:ara ! I'm so jolly glad, I am.
Do you know, ail the pipes are froze, and we shan't be able to
have any of that horrid washing these cold mornings ! Ain't
any
it prime ! "
[Sensation.]
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 399
A PEACE CONFERENCE.
Flora — " Oh, I am so glad, dear Harriet, there is a chance
of peace. I am making these slippers against dear Alfred's
comes back ! "
Cousin Tom — " Hah, well, I aint quite anxious about peace,
for, you see, since these soldier chaps have been abroad, we
civilians have had it pretty much our own way with the
gurls ! '
400 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
WHEN RAILWAY COMPANIES FALL OUT THE
PUBLIC DERIVE THE BENEFIT.
For example, during some of the winter months, with a
nice bracing north-east wind blowing, you may go to Man-
chester and back for 55 — an opportunity not to be lost. Oh,
dear, no !
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 401
QUITE TRUE.
Fascinating Gent, (to precocious little girl) — "You are a
very nice little girl ; you shall be my wifey when you grow
up."
Little Girl—" No thank you ; I don't want to have a hus-
band. But Aunt Bessy does. I heard her say so ! "
[Sensation on the part of Aunt Bessy.]
26
402 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A HOLIDAY.
Of all the foolish things, the mere pun is perhaps the most
foolish. Now, here's a fellow (probably a member of the
St— ck Exch— ge) who, in spite of his really perilous con-
dition, says that he " came out for a (w)hole holiday— and has
got it ! "
LEECH S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 403
COLD IN THE HEAD.
For a cold in the head, there is nothing like a steam bath,
and this can be had in your own bedroom with the greatest
ease.
404 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
TOUCHING.
Groom (to old coachman) — "Why, Edw'rd, what hever's
the matter ? "
Old Coachman (sobbing) — " Ah, William ! Most affectin'
sig'it ! I've just seen the four-in-hand club going down to
Greenwich ! Ten on 'em ! Beautiful teams ! And driven by
reg'lar tip-top swells \ It's bin a'most too much for me ! "
[Is relieved by tears.]
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 405
A FISHING ADVENTURE.
Master George and the dragon-flies, as they appeared to his
excited imagination when he was out fishing the other day.
406 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
SELF-EXAMINATION.
Party (slightly influenced)—" Question ish, am I fit to go
intodrawingroom ? Letsh shee ! I can say glonush con
shyshusn ! Have seen Brish inshychusion— all that sortothmg.
Thatledo. Here gosh ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 407
DELICATE TEST.
Elevated Party — " A never think a fl'ear'shad t'much wine
s'long as a windsup-ish wash ! "
[Proceeds to perform that operation with a corkscrew.]
408 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT.
Old Mr What's -his name — " Egad ! I don't wonder at
moustaches coming into fashion, for — eh ! what ! by Jove, it
•does improve one's appearance I "
T.KECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 409
CONCLUSIVE TABLE-TURNING EXPERIMENT MADE
AT GREENWICH.
" There, old fella ! Hope you're satisfied it goes round
now !"
" Oh, yesh ! There's no mistake ! "
[These subjects are submitted, very respectfully, to the
•reverend (!) gentlemen who hold so much conversation with
furniture.]
4io LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
THE FARMYARD.
Country Friend (to London friend, who is dressed within an
inch of his life) — "There, my boy, come and see this lovely^
pig, and then we'll go and look at the rest of the stock."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 411
A SUBURBAN DELIGHT.
Dark Party (with a ticket-of-leave, of course) — " Ax yer
pardon, sir ! But if you was agoing down this dark lane,
p'raps you'd allow me and this here young man to go along
with yer, 'cos, yer see, there aint no perlice about, and we're
so precious feared o' being garrotted ! "
412 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
JUVENILE ETYMOLOGY.
Master Jack — " Mamma, dear! Now, isn't this called kiss-
mas time because everybody kisses everybody under the
mistletoe ? Ada says it isn't."
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 413
PORTRAIT OF THE OLD PARTY WHO RATHER.
LIKES ORGAN-GRINDING.
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
AX INJURED INDIVIDUAL.
Simkins (who has missed his bird, but peppered Wilkins) —
" There, now, I've a dooced good mind to say that I'll never
come out shooting with you again ; you're always getting in
the way ! "
LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS 415
PRACTICAL SCIENCE.
Grandmamma — " Well, Charley, and what have you been
learning to-day?"
Charley — " Pneumatics, gran'ma ! And I can tell you such
a dodge ! If I was to put you under a glass receiver, and
exhaust the air, all your wrinkles would come out as smooth
as gran 'papa's head ! "
416 LEECH'S HUMOROUS ILLUSTRATIONS
A SHOCK.
Mamma — " Why, Tom, what are you doing with that nasty
dust-pan and broom ? "
Tom — " Brother Fred told me to bring it in and sweep up
all the h's Mrs Mopus had dropped about ! "
(N.B. — Great expectations from Mrs M).
THE END.
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