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Full text of "George Washington's Rules of civility"

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RULES OF CIVILITY 



TRACED TO THEIR SOURCES- 
■ AND RESTORED EÏ 



MONCURE D. COiN'WAY 



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GIFT or 

A. F. Morrison 




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RULES OF CIVILITY. 



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GEORGE WASHINGTON'S 



RULES OF CIVILITY 



titaceô to tbeit Sonxcce and fRcetoxcb 



BY 

MONCURE D. CONWAY 



NEW YORK 
UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY 

SUCCESSORS TO 

JOHN W. LOVELL COMPANY 

150 WORTH ST., eOR. MISSION PLACE 



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.72 



GIFT OF 

Copyright, 1890, 

BY 

UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY. 
• • • •. • •••••• 



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5n0crlbco 

TO MY SON 

EUSTACE CONWAY. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 



A MONG the manuscript books of George 
"^^^ Washington, preserved in the State 
Archives at Washington City, the earliest 
bears the date, written in it by himselt, 1745. 
Washington was bom February 11, 1731 O.S., 
so that while writing in this book he was either 
near the close of his fourteenth, or in his fif- 
teenth, year. It is entitled " Forms of Writing," 
has thirty folio pages, and the contents, all in 
his boyish handwriting, are sufficiently curious. 
Amid copied forms of exchange, bonds, receipts, 
sales, and similar exercises, occasionally, in 
ornate penmanship, there are poetic selec- 
tions, among them lines of a religious tone on 
*' True Happiness." But the great interest of 
the book centres in the pages headed : " Rules 



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8 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company 

and Conversatipo." JTbe.book had been gnawed 
• • • •••••••• 

at tiie,l3|bttofrw*tfyJMojinJ Vernon mice, before 
•• ••••••• 

it ïe^h^ Ihe.St^te Archives, and nine of the 

• •••;•••.. ; /, ••• 
;i:i(5;ilûîe& lîa^C ?hus ;saffered, the sense of 
• •• ••••.• ••••• 

several being lost. 

The Rules possess so much historic interest 
that it seems surprising that none of Washing- 
ton's biographers or editors should have given 
them to the world. Washington Irv'ing, in his 
" Life of Washington," excites interest in them 
by a tribute, but does not quote even one. 
Sparks quotes 57, but inexactly, and with his 
usual literary manipulation ; these were reprinted 
(1886, 16^) by W. O. Stoddard, at Denver, Colo- 
rado ; and in Hale's "Washington" (1888). I 
suspect that the old biographers, more eulogistic 
than critical, feared it would be an ill service to 
Washington's fame to print all of the Rules. 
There might be a scandal in the discovery that 
the military and political deity of America had, 
even in boyhood, written so gravely of the 
hat-in-hand deference due to lords, and other 
" Persons of Quality," or had concerned himself 
with things so trivial as the proper use of the 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 9 

fork, napkin, and toothpick. Something is said 
too about " inferiours," before whom one must 
not "Act ag." y? Rules Moral." But in 1888 
the Rules were subjected to careful and literal 
treatment by Dr. J. M. Toner, of Washington 
City, in the course of his magnanimous task of 
preserving, in the Library of Congress, by exact 
copies, the early and perishing note-books and 
journals of Washington. This able literary 
antiquarian has printed his transcript of the 
Rules (W. H. Morrison : Washington, D.C. 
1888), and the pamphlet, though little known to 
the general public, is much valued by students 
of American history. With the exception of 
one word, to which he called my attention. Dr. 
Toner has given as exact a reproduction of the 
Rules, in their present damaged condition, as 
can be made in print. The illegible parts are 
precisely indicated, without any conjectural in- 
sertions, and young Washington's spelling and 
punctuation subjected to no literary tampering. 
Concerning the source of these remarkable 
Rules there have been several guesses. Wash- 
ington Irving suggests that it was probably his 
intercourse with the Fairfax family, and his 



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lo RULES OF CIVILITY. 

ambitioi> to acquit himself well in their society, 
that set him upon " compiling a code of morals 
and manners.'* (Knickerbocker Ed. i. p. 30.) 
Sparks, more cautiously, says : " The most re- 
markable part of the book is that in which is 
compiled a system of maxims and regulations 
of conduct, drawn from miscellaneous sources." 
(i. p. 7.) Dr. Toner says : " Having searched 
in vain to find these rules in print, I feel justified, 
considering all the circumstances, in assuming 
that they were compiled by George Washington 
himself when a schoolboy. But while making 
this claim it is proper to state, that nearly all 
the principles incorporated and injunctions 
given in these 1 10 maxims had been enunciated 
over and over again in the various works on 
good behaviour and manners prior to this com- 
pilation and for centuries observed in polite 
society. It will be noticed that, while the spirit 
of these maxims is drawn chiefly from the social 
life of Europe, yet, as formulated here, they are 
as broad as civilization itself, though a few of 
them are especially applicable to Society as it 
then existed in America, and, also, that but few 
refer to women." 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, ii 

Except for the word " parents," which occurs 
twice, Dr. Toner might have said that the Rules 
contain no allusion whatever to the female sex. 
This alone proved, to my own mind, that 
Washington was in nowise responsible for these 
Rules. In the school he was attending when 
they were written there were girls ; and, as he 
was rather precocious in his admirations, a 
compilation of his own could hardly omit all 
consideration of conduct towards ladies, or in 
their presence. There were other reasons also 
which led me to dissent from my friend Dr. 
Toner, in this instance, and to institute a 
search, which has proved successful, for the 
source of the Rules of Civility. 

While gathering materials for a personal 
and domestic biography of Washington,^ I dis- 
covered that in 1745 he was attending school in 
Fredericksburg, Virginia. The first church (St. 
George's) of the infant town was just then 
finished, and the clergyman was the Rev. James 

1 George Washington and Mount Veraon. A collection of 
Washington's unpublished agricultural and personal letters. 
Edited, with historical and genealogical Introduction, by 
Moncure Daniel Conway. Published by the L. I. Historical 
Society : Brooklyn, New York, 1889. 



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12 RULES OF CIVILITY, 

Marye, a native of France. It is also stated in 
the municipal records of the town that its first 
school was taught by French people, and it is 
tolerably certain that Mr. Marye founded the 
school soon after his settlement there as Rector, 
which was in 1735, eight years after the foun- 
dation of Fredericksburg. I was thus led to 
suspect a French origin of the Rules of Civility. 
This conjecture I mentioned to my friend Dr. 
Gamett, of the British Museum, and, on his 
suggestion, explored an old work in French and 
Latin in which ninety-two of the Rules were 
found. This interesting discovery, and others 
to which it led, enable me to restore the damaged 
manuscript to completeness. 

The various intrinsic interest of these Rules 
is much enhanced by the curious story of their 
migration from an old Jesuit College in France 
to the copy-book of George Washington. In 
Backer's Jesuit Bibliography it is related that 
the " pensionnaires " of the College of La Flèche 
sent to those of the College at Pont-à- Mousson, 
in 1595, a treatise entitled : "Bienséance de la 
Conversation entre les Hommes." The great 
Mussipontane father at that time was Léonard 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 13 

Périn (b. at Stenai 1567, d. at Besançon 1658), 
who had been a Professor of the Humanities at 
Paris. By order* of Nicolas François, Bishop 
of Toul, Father Périn translated the La Flèche 
treatise into Latin, adding a chapter of his own 
on behaviour at table. The book, dedicated 
to the Bishop of Toul, was first printed (16**) at 
Pont-à- Mousson in 161 7, (by Car. Marchand). 
It was printed at Paris in 1638, and at Rouen in 
165 1 ; it was translated into Spanish, German, 
and Bohemian. In 1629 one Nitzmann printed 
the Latin, German, and Bohemian translations 
in parallel columns, the German title being 
"Wolstand taglicher Gemainschaflft mit dem 
Menschen." A comparison of this with the 
French edition of 1663 in the British Museum, 
on which I have had to depend, shows that 
there had been no alteration in Father Périn's 
Latin, though it is newly translated. This copy 
in the library of the British Museum was printed 
in Paris for the College of Clermont, and issued 
by Pierre de Bresche, " auec privilege du Roy." 
It is entitled : " Les Maximes de la Gentillesse 
et de THonnesteté en la Conversation entre les 
Hommes. Communis Vitae inter homines scita 



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14 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

urbanitas. Par un Père de la Compagnie de 
Jésus." 

In dedicating this new translation (1663) to 
the youth of Clermont, Pierre de Bresche is 
severe on the French of the La Flèche pension- 
naires. "It is a novelty surprising enough to 
find a very unpolished French book translated 
into the most elegant Latin ever met with." M. 
de Bresche declares that he was no longer able 
to leave so beautiful a work in such " abjection," 
and had added a translation which preserves 
the purity of the French tongue, and is propor- 
tioned to the merit of the exquisite Latin ex- 
pressions. We can hardly suppose that Pierre 
de Bresche was eulogising his own work, but 
there is no other name in the book. Possibly 
his criticism on the French of the original edi- 
tion was only that of an éditeur desiring to sup- 
plant it. At any rate, as Father Périn wrote the 
elegant Latin we cannot doubt that the chapter 
he added to the book was in scholarly French. 

The old book of the Jesuit "pensionnaires," — 
which, had they not ignored woman, might be 
called the mother of all works on Civility, — is 
charming as well as curious. It duly opens 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 15 

with a chapter of religious proprieties, at mass, 
sacrament, sermon, and grace at meat. The 
Maxims of secular civility open with the second 
chapter, and it will be seen that they are for the 
gentry. They are mainly for youths whose 
environments are portrayed in the interesting 
frontispiece of the work, where they are seen in 
compartments, — at church, in college, in con- 
versation, at the fireside, in promenade, and at 
table. We have already seen, from Backer's 
Jesuit bibliography, that Father Léonard Périn 
added a chapter on "bienséance" at table ; but 
after this there is another chapter — a wonderful 
chapter — and it would be interesting to learn 
whether we owe this also to Périn. This last 
chapter is exquisitely epicurean, dealing with 
table-setting, table-service, and the proper order 
of entrées, roasts, salads, and dessert. It closes 
— and the book closes — with a sort of sugar- 
plum paean, the sweets and spices being in the 
end gracefully spiritualised. But this concluding 
passage of Chapter XI. (" Des Services & hon- 
neurs de la Table ") must be quoted : — 

"Sugar-plums complete the pleasantness and enjoy- 
ment of the dessert, and serve, as it were, to satisfy 



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i6 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

pleasure. They are brought, while the table is still laid, 
in a handsome box on a salver, like those given by the 
ancients to be carried home.i Sometimes, also, they are 
handed round after the hands have been washed in 
rose water, and the table covered with a Turkey cloth. 

*• These are riches which we possess in abundance, and 
your feasts cannot terminate more agreeably in your 
quarters than with our Verdun sugar-plums. Besides 
the exquisite delicacy of their sugar, cinnamon and ani- 
seed, they possess a sweet, fragrant odour like the breeze 
of the Canaries, — that is to say, like our sincerest at- 
tachment for you, of which you will also receive proof. 
Thus you see, then, the courteous advice we have under- 
taken to give you to serve for a profitable entertainment. 
If you please, then, we will bring it to a close, in order 
to devote ourselves more zealously to other duties which 
will contribute to your satisfaction, and prove agreeable 
to all those who truly esteem good-breeding and decent 
general conversation, as we ardently hope. 

" Praise be to God and to the glorious Virgin ! " 2 



1 This b not unknown at some of the civic banquets in 
London. 

2 " Les dragées acheuent la douceur de la resjouissance du 
dessert & font comme I'assouuissement du plaisir. Elles sont 
portées dans vne belle boette posée sur vn plat, les tables restant 
encore dressées à la façon de celles que les Anciens donnoient 
à emporter en la maison. Quelquefois aussi les mains estants 
desia lauées auec l'eau-rose, & la table couuerte de son tapis de 
Turquie, elle sont présentées. 

" Ce sont des richesses que nous possédons en abondance & 
vos festins ne se peuuent pas teruiiner plus agréablement que 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, 17 

The earlier editions of the book do not appear 
to have been published for the outer world, but 
were printed in the various colleges where they 
were used. Another French work on the same 
subject, but including much about ladies, pub- 
lished about the year 1773, plagiarises largely 
from the Jesuit manual, but does not mention 
it. It is probable therefore that the Périn 
volume was not then known to the general 
public. The anonymous book just mentioned 
was translated into English.^ Some of the 

par DOS dragées de Verdun en vos quartiers. Elles ont parmy 
les charmantes délicatesses de leur succre, de leur canelle, & 
de leur aiiis, vne douce & suaue odeur qui égale celles de l'air 
de nos Canaries, c'est à dire de nos plus sincères inclinations en 
vostre endroit dont vous receuerez de mesme les tesmoignages. 
Vous voyez donc icy les ad vis de la ciuilité que nous auons 
entrepris de vous donner, pour vous servir d'vn fructueux 
divertissement. Nous les finissons donc si vous le trouuiez 
agréable, pour nous porter auec plus de zèle aux autres deuoirs 
qui contribueront à vostre satisfaction, & qui seront agréables à 
touts les véritables estimateurs de la bien-seance & de l'honnes- 
teté de la conuersation conunune, comme nous le soutraittons 
auec passion. 

" Louange à Dieu & à la glorieuse Vierge." 

1 "The Rules of Civility, or Certain Ways of Deportment 
observed amongst all persons of Quality upon seueral Occa- 
sions." The earliest edition I have found is that of 1678 (in 
the British Museum Library), which is said to be "Newly 
revised and much Enlarged." The work is assigned a French 

B 



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i8 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

phraseology of the Périn book, and many of its 
deas, appear in a work of Obadiah Walker, 
Master of University College, Oxford, on 
Education, but it is not mentioned.^ 

Eighteen of the Washington Rules, and 
an important addition to another, are not 
among the French Maxims. Two of these 
Rules, 24 and 42, are more damaged than 
any others in the Washington MS., and I 
had despaired of discovering their meaning. 
But after my translations were in press I 
learned from Dr. W. C. Minor that an early 
English version of the Maxims existed, and 
in this I have found additions to the French 
work which substantially include those of the 
Washington MS. Through this fortunate dis- 

origin on internal evidence, — .e.£^.t other nations than France are 
referred to as "foreign," and "Monsieur" is used in examples 
of conversation. The date is approximately fixed as 1673, 
because it is said that while it was in press there had appeared 
" The Education of a Young Prince." The latter work was a 
translation of "De l'éducation d'un Prince. Par le Sieur de 
Chanteresne " [P. Nicole], by Pierre du Moulin, the Younger, 
and published in London, 1673. 

1 Of Education. Especially of Young Gentlemen. In two 
Parts. The Fifth Impression. Oxford: Published at the 
Theatre for Amos Custeyne. 1887. [It was anonymous, but is 
known to be by Obadiah Walker, Master of University College, 
Oxford.] 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, 19 

covery the Rules of Civility are now completely 
restored. 

The version just alluded to purports to be 
by a child in his eighth year. It was first 
printed in 1640 (London), but the earliest edi- 
tion in the British Museum, where alone I have 
been able to find a copy, is that of 1646, which 
is described as the fourth edition.^ The cover 
is stamped in gilt, "Gift of G. III." The 
translations are indeed rude, and sometimes 

1 " Youth's Behaviour, or Decency in Conversation amongst - 
men. Composed in French by grave persons for the Use and 
benefit of their youth. Now newly translated into Englbh by 
Francis Hawkins. The fourth edition, with the addition of 
twenty-sixe new Precepts (which are marked thus *) London. 
Piinted by W. Wilson for W. Lee, and are to be sold at the 
Turks-head neere the Miter Taverne in FleetstreeU 1646." 
There are some lines " In laudem Authoris" by J. S., and the 
following : — "Gentle Reader, — ^Thinke it not amisse to peruse 
this Peece, yet connive at the Style : for it hath neede thereof, 
since wrought by an uncouth and rough File of one greene in 
yeares; as being aged under eight. Hence, worthy Reader, 
shew not thy self too-too-rigid a Censurer. This his version 
is little dignified, and therefore likely will it appeare to thee 
much imperfect. It ought to be his own, or why under the Title 
is his name written ? Peradventure thou wilt say, what is it 
to me ? yet heare : Such is it really, as that I presume the 
Author may therein be rendred faithfully: with this courte- 
ously be then satisfied.— This small Treatise in its use, will 
evidently appear to redound to the singular benefit of many a 
young spirit, to whom solely and purposely it is addressed. 
Passe it therefore without mistake and candidly." 



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20 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

inaccurate as to the sense, but that they were 
the unaided work of a child under eight is one 
of the "things hard to be believed" which 
a Maxim admonishes us not to tell. In the 
edition of 165 1 there is a portrait of Master 
Hawkins at the age of eight, and the same 
picture appears in 1672 as the same person 
at ten. Moreover, in an edition of 1663 the 
"Bookseller," in an address "to the reader," 
seems rather vague in several statements. " A 
counsellor of the Middle Temple, in 1652, 
added twenty-five new Precepts marked thus 
(*) at which time a Gentleman of Lincoln^s- 
Inn turned the Book into Latine." There are, 
however, in this edition thirty-one Precepts not 
in the French work, and of these twenty-six 
are in the edition of 1646. The Latin version 
appended (signed H. B.) is exactly that of 
Father Perin, with the exception of a few 
words, considerable omissions, and the addi- 
tional Precepts. The additions are all evidently 
by a mature hand. 

With the Hawkins volume of 1663 is bound, 
in the British Museum Library, a companion 
work, entitled, "The second Part of Youth's 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 21 

Behaviour, or Decency in Conversation amongst 
Women. 1664." This little book is apparently 
by Robert Codrington, whose name is signed 
to its remarkable dedicatory letter : " To the 
Mirrour of her Sex Mrs. Ellinor Pargiter, 
and the most accomplished with all reall Per- 
fections Mrs. Elizabeth Washington, her only 
Daughter, and Heiress to the truly Honour- 
able Laurence Washington Esquire, lately de- 
ceased." 

This was Laurence Washington of Garsden, 
Wilts., who married Elianor, second daughter 
of Wm. Gyse ; their only child, a daughter, 
having married Robert Shirley, Earl Ferrars. 
Laurence Washington die'd Jan. 17, 1662, and 
his widow married Sir William Pargiter.^ 

In a letter to the New York Nation (5th 
June 1890), I said: "Though my theory, that 
the Rev. James Marye taught Washington these 
* Rules,* has done good service in leading to 
the discovery of their origin, it cannot be veri- 
fied, unless the clergyman's descendants have 

1 See " An Examination of the English Ancestry of George 
Washington. By Henry F. Waters, A.M , Boston. New 
England Historic Genealogical Society, 1889. " 



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22 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

preserved papers in which they can be traced." 
I have since learned from the family that no 
such papers exist. The discovery just men- 
tioned, that a Part Second of Youth's Be- 
haviour was published in 1664, and dedicated 
to two ladies of the Washington family in Eng- 
land, lends force to Dr. Minor's suggestion 
that Washington might have worked out his 
Rules from the Hawkins version. It would 
be natural that Part II. so dedicated should 
be preserved in the Virginia family, and should 
be bound up with Part I., published the year 
before, as it is bound in the British Museum. 
It is certain that one of the later editions of 
the Hawkins version was used in the prepara- 
tion of Washington's " Rules," for the eighteen 
Rules not in the French book are all from 
"Youth's Behaviour" (1663). Moreover, the 
phraseology is sometimes the same, and one 
or two errors of translation follow the Hawkins 
version. £.£"., Maxim ii. 16 begins : " Prenez 
garde de vous échauffer trop au jeu, & aux 
emportements qui s'y eleuët." The second 
clause, a warning against being too much 
carried away by excitements of play, is ren- 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 23 

dered by Hawkins, " Contend not, nor speake 
louder than thou maist with moderation ;" and 
in the Washington MS., "affect not to Speak 
Louder than ordenary." 

A careful comparison, however, of Washing- 
ton's Rules with the Hawkins version renders 
it doubtful whether the Virginia boy used the 
work of the London boy. The differences are 
more than the resemblances. If in some cases 
the faults of the Washington version appear 
gratuitous, the printed copy being before him, 
on the other hand it often suggests a closer 
approach to the French — of which language 
Washington is known to have been totally 
ignorant. As to the faults, . where Hawkins 
says ceremonies " are too troublesome," Wash- 
ington says they " is troublesome ; " where 
the former translates correctly that one must 
not approach where " another readeth a letter," 
Washington has " is writing a letter ;" where 
he writes " infirmityes " Washington has " In- 
firmaties ; " the printed " manful " becomes 
" manfuU," and " courtesy " ** curtesie." Among 
the variations which suggest a more intimate 
knowledge of French idioms than that of 



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24 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

Hawkins the following may be mentioned. 
The first Maxim with which both versions open 
is : " Que toutes actions qui se font publique- 
ment fassent voir son sentiment respectueux 
à toute la compagnie." Hawkins : " Every 
action done in view of the world ought to be 
accompanied with some signe of reverence 
which one beareth to all who are present." 
Washington : " Every action done in company 
ought to be with some sign of respect to those 
that are present." Here the restoration of " re- 
spectueux," and the limitation of "publique- 
ment" by "compagnie," make the latter ren- 
dering much neater. In Maxim viii. 47, which 
admonishes one not to be angry at table, it is 
said, "bien si vous vous fâchez," you are not 
to show it. Hawkins translates, "if so bee 
thou bee vexed ; " but Washington more finely, 
"if you have reason to be so. Shew it not." 
Or compare the following versions of " Si vous 
vous reposez chez vous, ayât quelque siege, 
faites en sorte de traiter chacun selô son 
mérite." Hawkins : " if there be anything for 
one to sit on, be it a chair, be it a stool, give 
to each one his due." Washington : " when 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 25 

you present seats let it be to every one accord- 
ing to his degree." Rule 45, for "moderation 
et douceur" has "Sweetness and Mildness," 
Hawkins only " sweetness." Again : " si vous 
rencontrez ioliment, si vous donnez quelque bon- 
mot, en faisant rire les autres, empeschez-vous- 
en, le plus qu'il vous sera possible." Hawkins : 
" When so it falleth out that thou deliver some 
happy lively an jolly conceit abstaine thou, 
and let others laugh." Washington : " if you 
Deliver anything witty and Pleasent abtain 
from laughing thereat yourself." 

Yet how curt is the version last quoted, and 
how blundering the sentence ! Washington's 
spelling was always faulty, but it is not charac- 
teristic of him to write " abtain " for " abstain." 
This is one of many signs of haste, suggesting 
that his pen was following oral instruction. The 
absence of punctuation is normal ; in some cases 
words have dropped out : such clerical mistakes 
occur as "eys," "but" for "put," "top" for 
"of," "whth" for "without," and "affection" for 
"affectation" — the needed letters being in the 
last case interlined. Except as regards punctua- 
tion, no similar errors occur in any manuscript 



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26 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

from Washington's hand, either in youth or age. 
Another reason for supposing that he may have 
been following an instructor is the excessive 
abbreviation. It was by no means characteristic 
of Washington to suppress details, but here his 
condensation sometimes deprives maxims of 
something of their force, if not of their sense. 
^.^., Rule 59 : " Never express anything unbe- 
coming, nor Act ag*.* y* Rules Moral before your 
inferiours." C/. Hawkins : " Never expresse any- 
thing unbeseeming, nor act against the Rules 
morall, before thy inferiours, for in these things, 
thy own guilt will multiply Crimes by example, 
and as it were, confirme 111 by authority." And 
"Shift not yourself in the sight of others" hardly 
does duty for the precept, " It is insufferable im- 
politeness to stretch the body, extend the arms, 
and assume different postures." There are, 
however, but few instances in which the sense 
of the original has been lost ; indeed, the ren- 
dering of the Washington MS. is generally an 
improvement on the original, which is too dif- 
fuse, and even more an improvement on the 
Hawkins version. 
Indeed, although Washington was precocious, 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 27 

— a surveyor at seventeen, — it would argue qua- 
lities not hitherto ascribed to him were we to 
suppose that, along with his faulty grammar and 
spelling, he was competent at fourteen for such 
artistic selection and prudent omission as are 
shown by a comparison of his 1 10 Rules with 
the 170 much longer ones of the English ver- 
sion. The omission of religious passages, save 
the very general ones with which the Rules 
close, and of all scriptural ones, is equally 
curious whether we refer the Rules to young 
Washington or to the Rector who taught him. 
But it would be of some significance if we sup- 
pose the boy to have omitted the precept to live 
" peeceably in that vocation unto which provi- 
dence hath called thee ; " and still more that he 
should have derived nothing from the following : 
"Do not think thou canst be a friend to the 
King whilst thou art an enemy to God : if thy 
crying iniquity should invite God's judgments to 
the Court, it would cost thy Soveraigne dear, to 
give them entertainment." If Washington was 
acquainted with Part II. of "Youth's Behaviour," 
relating to women and dedicated to ladies of 
the Washington race, it is remarkable that no 



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28 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

word relating to that sex is found among his 
Rules.i 

On the whole, though it is very uncertain, the 
balance of probabilities seems to favour the 
theory that the Rules of Civility, found in a copy- 
book among school exercises, exceedingly ab- 
breviated, and marked by clerical errors unusual 
with Washington, were derived from the oral 
teachings of his preceptor ; that this Frenchman 
utilised (and was once or twice misled by) the 
English version along with the original, which 
had been used as a manual in his Rouen College. 

The Marie family of Rouen, — from which came 
the Maryes of Virginia, — is distinguished both 
in Catholic and Huguenot annals. Among the 
eminent Jesuit authors was Pierre Marie, who 

1 In the edition of Hawkins (1663) bound up with Part II. in 
the British Museum (bearing ou the cover the name and arms 
of the " HonWe. Thos. Greville ") there is just one precept con- 
cerning women : " If thou art yet unmarried, but intendest to 
get thee a wife modest, rather than beautiful, meddle not with 
those Ladies of the Game, who make pageants of their Cheeks, 
and Shops of their Shoulders, and (contrary to all other Trades) 
keep open their Windows on the Sabbath-day, impudently ex- 
posing their nakedness to the view of a whole Congregation," 
&c. There are, in an appendix, pictures of a puritanically 
shrouded " Virtue," and a " Vice " who, apart from the patches 
on her face, singularly resembles a portrait of pretty Lady 
Ferrars in Codrington's book (o»/^, p. ai) ed. 167a. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 29 

was bom at Rouen, 1 589, and died at Bourges, 
1645. He was author of " La Sainte Solitude ; ou 
les Entretiens solitaires de Fame," and of " La 
Science du Crucifix : en forme de méditations." 
The family was divided by the Huguenot move- 
ment, and a Protestant branch took root in 
England. Concerning the latter, Agnew (^French 
Protestant Exiles^ i. p. 100) gives the following 
information : — 

"Jean Marie, pasteur of Lion-sur-mer, was a refugee 
in England from the St. Bartholomew massacre. He is 
supposed to have belonged to the same family as the 
Huguenot martyr, Marin Marie, a native of St. George 
in the diocese of Lisieux. It was in the year 1559 that 
that valiant man, who had become a settler in Geneva, 
was arrested at Sens when on a missionary journey to 
France, laden with a bale of Bibles and New Testa- 
ments, and publications for the promotion of the Pro- 
testant Reformation ; he was burnt at Paris, in the 
place Maubert, on the 3d of August of that year. Our 
pasteur was well received in England, and was sent to 
Norwich, of which city he appears to have been the first 
French minister. He was lent to the reformed churches 
of France when liberty of preaching revived, and so 
returned to Normandy, where we find him in 1583. 
The first National Synod of Vitré held its meetings in 
that year, between the 15th and 27th of May. Quick's 
•Synodicon' (vol. i. p. 153) quotes the following 



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30 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

minute: — 'Our brother, Monsieur Marie, minister of 
the church of Norwich in England, but living at present 
in Normandy, shall be obliged to return unto his church 
upon its first summons ; yet, because of the great success 
of his ministry in these parts, his church may be entreated 
to continue for some longer time his absence from it.' 
He certainly did return to Norwich, because on 29th 
April 1589 the manuscript Book of Discipline was sub- 
mitted to the consistory for signature; and Jan Marie 
signed first, and his colleague M. Basnage, second. 
One of his sons, Nathaniel Marie, became one of the 
pasteurs of the London French Church, and married ist. 
Ester, daughter of the pasteur Guillaume De Laune, and 
2dly (in 1637), Ester le Hure, widow of André Joye. 
The Norwich pasteur had probably another son named 
after himself, a commercial residenter in his native city ; 
for two sons of a Jan Marie were baptized in Norwich 
French Church : (i) Jan on 3d February 1600, and 
(2) Pierre, on 6th July 1602. Madame Marie, probably 
the pasteur's widow, was a witness at the first baptism." 

James Marye, with whom we are particularly 
concerned, sprang from the Catholic family, 
and was bom at Rouen near the close of the 
seventeenth century. He was educated for the 
priesthood, no doubt at the Jesuit College in 
Rouen, — where, as we have seen, Father Périns 
book on manners was printed in 165 1. How- 
ever, James Marye abjured the Catholic religion 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 31 

in 1726. This caused a breach between himself 
and the family, which consisted of a widowed 
mother, and her two other sons, — Peter and 
William (the latter an officer), both of whose 
names, however, reappeared in their protestant 
brother's family. In consequence of this aliena- 
tion James migrated to England, where he 
pursued his studies, and was ordained by the 
Bishop of London. In 1728 he married Letitia 
Maria Anne Staige. She was a sister of the Rev. 
Theodosius Staige, who was already in Virginia. 
For that colony the Rev. James Marye also 
embarked, in 1729, with his bride. Their first 
child (Lucy) was bom during the voyage. 

It would appear that the purpose of this 
emigration was to minister to a settlement of 
French Huguenots at Monacan (or Manakin- 
town, as it was called) on James River. The 
first band of these refugees had gone over in 
1690, under the leadership of Olivier de la 
Muce, and 600 others had followed in 1699, 
with their clergyman, Phillipe de Richebourg. 
The Assembly of Virginia gave them a large 
tract of land in Henrico County— not far from 
where Richmond now stands— exempting them 



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32 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

from taxation. The name of James Marye first 
appears in Virginia (1730) as christening a child 
in King William Parish, as it was called,— after 
the King who had favoured this Huguenot 
colony. 

In 1727 the town of Fredericksburg was 
founded. In 1732 Col. Byrd visited the place, 
and wrote : " Besides Col. Willis, who is the 
top man of the place, there are only one mer- 
chant, a tailor, a smith, an ordinary keeper, and 
a lady who acts both as a doctress and coffee- 
woman." This "Col. Willis" had manned 
Washington's aunt (and godmother), and there 
were other families of the neighbourhood con- 
nected with the Washingtons. It was not until 
1739 that Captain Augustine Washington (the 
General's father) went to reside near Frede- 
ricksburg. Soon after the birth of George 
(Feb. II, 1731 Old Style) the family left their 
homestead in Westmoreland county, Virginia, 
and resided on their farm, now known as 
" Mount Vernon." (It was so named by Wash- 
ington's elder half-brother, Lawrence, who built 
the mansion, in 1743-5, Ji^ honour of the English 
Admiral Vernon, with whom he served as an 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 33 

officer at Carthagena.) Although he nowhere 
alludes to the fact, George Washington's earliest 
memories, as I have elsewhere shown,^ were 
associated with the estate on which he lavished 
so much devotion, and which the Ladies' Mount 
Venîon Association has made his most charac- 
teristic monument The Rev. Jonathan Boucher, 
teacher of Mrs. George Washington's son John 
Custis, says that Washington was ** taught by a 
convict servant whom his father had bought for 
a schoolmaster." This was probably one of a 
shipload of convicts brought by Captain Augus- 
tine Washington from England in 1737. When 
the family removed to the neighbourhood of 
Fredericksburg (from which, however, they 
were separated by the Rappahannock river), 
the children went to school (probably) at Fal- 
mouth, — a village fifty years older than Frede- 
ricksburg, and about two miles above, on the 
opposite side of the river. A church had been 
erected in Falmouth (Brunswick parish', but 
that in Fredericksburg was not completed until 
some years later. After the death of his father 

1 George Washington and Mount Vernon, Introduction, 
p. xxviii. 



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34 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

(April 12, 1743) George was sent to reside with 
his half-brother Augustine, at " Wakefield," the 
old homestead in Westmoreland where he was 
bom. He returned to live with his mother, 
near Fredericksburg, in 1745. That he then 
went to school in Fredericksburg appears*by a 
manuscript left by Col. Byrd Willis, grandson 
of CoL Harry Willis, founder of the town, in 
which he states that his father, Lewis Willis, 
was Washington's schoolmate. The teacher's 
name is not given, but there can be little doubt 
that it was James Marye. 

The Rev. James Marye's brother-in-law, Rev. 
Theodosius Staige, had for a time preached in 
the temporary structure in which the congrega- 
tion of St. George's, Fredericksburg, met before 
the church was completed. It was probably 
during a visit to Mr. Staige that Mr. Marye 
made an impression on the people of that place. 
At any rate the early Vestry-book shows that, 
in 1735, the churchwardens, after the colonial 
custom, asked leave of the Governor of Virginia 
to call James Marye to their pulpit, and it was 
granted. He is described as "Mr. Marie of 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 35 

St. James," being then officiating at St. James 
Church, Northam Parish (Goochland county, 
Virginia). At what time and why he left 
Manakintown is not clear. He fixed his first 
abode eight miles out of Fredericksburg, in a 
place which he called " Fayetteville ; " and it 
is not improbable that some of his Huguenot 
congregation had come with him, and attempted 
to found there a village. Several infant churches 
in the county (Spottsylvania), besides that of 
Fredericksburg, were under supervision of the 
Rector of St. George's Parish. 

The Rev. James Marye remained in active 
and successful ministry at Fredericksburg from 
1735 "^til his death, in 1767. He founded the 
large Virginia family which bears his name, 
and which has always had eminent repre- 
sentatives. On his death he was succeeded 
in St. George's Church, Fredericksburg, by 
his son of the same name, whose honourable 
tradition was maintained. His great-grandson, 
John L. Marye, — whose mansion, " Brompton," 
stood on "Marye's Heights," so famous in the 
Civil War, — was an eminent lawyer ; as also is 



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36 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

a son of the latter, John L. Marye Jr., former 
Lieutenant-Governor of Virginia.^ 

The founder of the Virginia Maryes, who 
should be ranked among American worthies, was 
an eloquent clergyman, and built up a noble 
congregation in Fredericksburg. He was also 
an accomplished gentleman and a scholar. That 
he founded and taught the school is tolerably 
certain. The Municipal Records, as we have 
seen, ascribe the school a French origin. The 
name and condition of every respectable resi- 
dent of Fredericksburg, at the time of his sett- 
ling there, when it was little more than a " paper 
town" (in colonial phrase), is known. There 
was in the place no one — certainly no " French- 
man "—except Marye who could have taught a 
school of such importance as that at Frede- 
ricksburg. For it presently became known 
throughout Virginia as the chief Academy, es- 
pecially for classical education, and its reputation 
continued for more than a hundred years.^ 

1 For valuable information concerning the Marye family and 
its descendants, see Brock's "Huguenot Emigration to Vir- 
ginia." (Virginia Hist. Soc, Richmond, 1886.) 

2 In a note I have from John L. Marye (sometime Lieutenant- 
Governor of Virginia), he says : "As to the habit of the Parish 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 37 

Some of the. Rules may strike the modem 
reader as snobbish, even for the observance of 
youth. But the originals are in that respect 
toned down in Washington's MS. Rule 9 takes 
no cognizance of the principle of the original, 
that to approach nearer the fire than others, and 
to turn one's back to it, are privileges of persons 
of rank. The 17th Maxim of chapter iii., which 
directed certain kissings of the hands of supe- 
riors, or of the robe, and other abasements, is 
entirely omitted. Where the original commands 
that we should never dispute in any fashion 
with our superiors in rank, Rule 34 says we 
ought not to "begin" with them. The only 
thing clear about which is that the instructor 
did not wish to admit authority so abso- 
lutely into the realm of argument. Rule 
46 omits so much of the original as counsels 
grateful acceptance of reproof from another 
"the more if you depend on his authority." 

Minister to conduct or overlook the schools, it would appear 
most probable that this was the case in Z745, when we remember 
how destitute at that era colonial society was of well-organized 
public or private schools (save the Tutors in families). When 
I entered Mr. Hanson's school in 1834, it was the custom of 
Parson McGuire and some of the Vestry to attend the annual 
Examinations. " 



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38 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

Other instances of this more liberal tendency 
will be noticed by those who make a careful 
comparison of the Rules and the French 
Maxims. 

Here then are rules of conduct, taught, if my 
theory be correct, by a French protestant pil- 
grim, unknowTi to fame, in the New World. 
They were taught to a small school of girls and 
boys, in a town of hardly a hundred inhabitants. 
They are maxims partly ethical, but mainly 
relate to •manners and civility ; they are wise, 
gentle, and true. A character built on them 
would be virtuous, and probably great. The 
publisher of the English version (1663) says that 
*' Mr. Pinchester, a learned scholar of Oxford," 
bought 250 copies for a great school he was 
about to open in London. Probably the school 
founded by James Marye was the first in the 
New World in which good manners were seri- 
ously taught.^ Nay, where is there any such 
school to-day ? 

1 It is probable that Mr. Marye's fine precedent was followed, 
to some extent, in the Fredericksburg Academy. The present 
writer, who entered it just a hundred years after George 
Washington recorded the '* Rules," recalls, as his first clear 
remembrance of the school, some words of the worthy Principal, 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 39 

Just this one colonial school, by the good 
fortune of having for its master or superinten- 
dent an ex-jesuit French scholar, we may sup- 
pose instructed in civility ; and out of that 
school, in what was little more than a village, 
came an exceptionally large number of eminent 
men. In that school three American Presidents 
received their early education, — Washington, 
Madison, and Monroe. 

It may be pretty confidently stated that both 
Madison and Monroe owed their success and 
eminence more to their engaging manners than 
to great intellectual powers. They were even 
notably deficient in that oratorical ability which 
counted for so much in the political era with 
which they were connected. They rarely spoke 
in Congress. When speaking, Madison was 
hesitating, and was heard with difficulty ; but 



Thomas Hanson, on gentlemanly behaviour. Alluding to some 
former pupil, who had become distinguished, he said, "I 
remember, on one occasion, in a room where all were gathered 
around the fire — the weather being very cold — that some one 
entered, and this boy promptly arose and gave the newcomer 
his seat at the fire. It made an impression on me which I have 
never forgotten." And how long have lasted in the memory of 
the writer hereof the very words of our teacher's homage to the 
considerate boy who obeyed Washington's eighth Rule ! 



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40 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

his quietness and modesty, his consideration 
for others, made the eloquent speak for him. 
Whether these two statesmen were personally 
taught by James Marye is doubtful, for he was 
getting old when they were at school in Frede- 
ricksburg ; but we may feel sure that civility 
was still taught there in their time, as, indeed, 
it was within the memory of many now living. 

George Washington, though even less able 
than the two others to speak in public, had 
naturally a strong intellect. But in boyhood he 
had much more against him than most of his 
young comrades,— -obstructions that could be 
surmounted only by character. His father had 
much land but little money ; at his death, 
(1743,) the lands were left chiefly to his sons by 
the first wife. His widow was left poor, and 
her eldest son, George, had not the fair prospect 
of most of his schoolmates. Instead of being 
prepared for William and Mary College, he was 
prepared only for going into some business as 
soon as possible, so as to earn support for his 
mother and her four younger children. In his 
old book of school-exercises, the *' Rules of 
Civility" are found in proximity to business 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, 41 

forms that bear pathetic testimony to the severe 
outlook of this boy of fourteen. In the MS. of 
Col. Byrd Willis, already referred to (loaned 
me by his granddaughter, Mrs. Tayloe, of Frede- 
ricksburg), he says : " My father, Lewis Willis, 
was a schoolmate of General Washington, his 
cousin, who was two years his senior. He 
spoke of the General's industry and assiduity at 
school as very remarkable. Whilst his brother 
and other boys at playtime were at bandy and 
other games, he was behind the door ciphering. 
But one youthful ebullition is handed down 
while at that school, and that was romping 
with one of the largest girls ; this was so un- 
usual that it excited no little comment among 
the other lads." It is also handed down that 
in boyhood this great soldier, though never a 
prig, had no fights, and was often summoned to 
the playground as a peacemaker, his arbitration 
in disputes being always accepted. 

Once more it may be well enough to remind 
the reader that it may yet be found that Wash- 
ington, in his mother's humble home on the 
Rappahannock, read and pondered "Youth's 
Behaviour," wrote out what it held for him, and 



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42 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

himself became an instructor of his schoolmates 
in rules of civility. It would be wonderful, but 
not incredible. 

Although Washington became a fine-looking 
man, he was not of prepossessing appearance 
in early life ; he was lank and hollow-chested. 
He was by no means a favourite with the 
beauties for which Fredericksburg was always 
famous, and had a cruel disappointment of his 
early love for Betsy Fauntleroy. In his youth 
he became pitted by smallpox while attending 
his invalid half-brother, Lawrence, on a visit to 
the Barbadoes. 

But the experienced eye of Lord Fairfax, and 
of other members of the Fairfax family, had 
discovered beneath the unattractive appearance 
of George Washington a sterling character. 
Their neighbourhood, on the upper Potomac, 
was much less civilised and refined than Frede- 
ricksburg, and this young gentleman, so well 
instructed in right rules of behaviour and con- 
duct, won their hearts and their confidence. It 
had been necessary that he should leave school 
at the age of sixteen to earn a living. At seven- 
teen he was appointed by Lord Fairfax surveyor 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 43 

of his vast estates in Virginia, and for a time he 
resided with his lordship at Green way Court. 
There can be little doubt that it was partly 
through the training in manners which Wash- 
ington gained from the old French maxims that 
he thus made headway against circumstances, 
and gained the friendship of the highly-educated 
and powerful Fairfax family. 

It should be mentioned, however, that young 
Washington's head was not in the least turned 
by this intimacy with the aristocracy. He 
wrote letters to his former playmates in which 
no snobbish line is discoverable. He writes to 
his " Dear friend Robin " : "My place of resi- 
dence is at present at his lordship's where I 
might, was my heart disengaged, pass my time 
very pleasantly, as there's a very agreeable 
young lady lives in the same house (Col. George 
Fairfax's wife's sister). But as that's only add- 
ing fuel to fire, it makes me the more uneasy, 
for by often and unavoidably being in company 
with her revives my former passion for your 
Lowland beauty ; whereas, was I to live more 
retired from young women, I might eleviate in 
some measure my sorrows by burying that 



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44 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

chaste and troublesome passion in the grave of 
oblivion or eteamall forgetfulness, for as I am 
very well assured, that's the only antidote or 
remedy that I ever shall be relieved by or only re- 
cess that can administer any cure or help to me, 
as I am well convinced, was I ever to attempt 
anything, I should only get a denial which 
would be only adding grief to uneasiness." 

The young lady at Greenway Court was 
iMary Gary, and the Lowland beauty was 
Betsy Fauntleroy, whose hand Washington 
twice sought, but who became the wife of the 
Hon. Thomas Adams. While travelling on his 
surveys, often among the red men, the youth 
sometimes gives vent to his feelings in verse. 

*' Oh Ye Gods why should my Poor resistless Heart 

Stand to oppose thy might and Power 
At last surrender to Cupid's feather'd Dart 

And now lays bleeding every Hour 
For her that's Pityless of my grief and Woes, 

And will not on me Pity take. 
I'll sleep among my most inveterate Foes 

And with gladness never wish to wake. 
In deluding sleepings let my Eyelids close 

That in an enraptured dream I may 
In a rapt lulling sleep and gentle repose 

Possess those joys denied by Day." 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 45 

And it must also be recorded that if he had 
learned how to conduct himself in the presence 
of persons superior to himself in position, age, 
and culture, — and it will be remembered that 
Lord Fairfax was an able contributor to -the 
"Spectator" (which Washington was careful to 
study while at Greenway,)— this youth no less 
followed the instruction of his io8th rule : 
" Honour your natural parents though they be 
poor." His widowed mother was poor, and she 
was ignorant, but he was devoted to her ; being 
reverential and gracious to her even when with 
advancing age she became somewhat morose 
and exacting, while he was loaded with public 
cares. 

I am no worshipper of Washington. But in 
the hand of that man of strong brain and 
powerful passions once lay the destiny of the 
New World, — in a sense, human destiny. But 
for his possession of the humility and self- 
discipline underlying his Rules of Civility, the 
ambitious politicians of the United States might 
to-day be popularly held to a much lower 
standard. The tone of his character was so 
entirely that of modesty, he was so fundament- 



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46 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

ally patriotic, that even his faults are transformed 
to virtues, and the very failures of his declin- 
ing years are popularly accounted successes. 
He alone was conscious of his mental decline, 
and gave this as a reason for not accepting a 
third nomination for the Presidency. This 
humility has established an unwritten law of 
limitation on vaulting presidential ambitions. 
Indeed, intrigue and corruption in America 
must ever struggle with the idealised phantom 
of this grand personality. 

These Rules of Civility go forth with the hope 
that they will do more than amuse the reader 
by their quaintness, and that their story will 
produce an impression beyond that of its pictur- 
esqueness. The strong probabilities that they 
largely moulded the character of Washington, 
and so influenced the human race, may raise 
the question, whether the old French Jesuits, and 
the pilgrim, James Marye, did not possess, more 
tnily than our contemporary educators, the art 
and mystery of moral education. In these days, 
when ethical is replacing theological instruction, 
in the home and in the school, there appears 
danger that it may repeat some of the mistakes 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 47 

of its predecessor. The failure of what was 
called Religion to promote moral culture is 
now explicable : its scheme of terror and hope 
appealed to and powerfully stimulated selfish- 
ness, and was also fundamentally anti-social, 
cultivating alienation of all who did not hold 
certain dogmas. The terrors and hopes having 
faded away, the selfishness they developed 
remains, and is only unchained by the decay 
of superstition. On the other hand, the social 
sentiment has thrown off sectarian restrictions, 
and an enthusiasm of humanity has succeeded. 
It is now certain that the social instinct is the 
only one which can be depended on to influence 
conduct to an extent comparable with the sway 
once exercised by superstitious terrors and 
expectations of celestial reward. The child is 
spiritually a creation of the commune ; there 
can be no other motive so early responsive as 
that which desires the approval and admiration 
of those by whom it is surrounded. 

To attempt the training of human character 
by means of ethical philosophy or moral science 
— as it used to be called— appears to be some- 
what of a theological "survival." When the 



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48 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

sanctions of authority were removed from the 
pagan deities they were found to have been 
long reduced in the nursery to the dimensions 
of fairies. The tremendous conceptions of 
Christian theology may some day be revealed 
as similarly diminished in the catechised mind 
of childhood. And the abstract principles of 
ethical philosophy cannot hope for any better 
fate. The child's mind cannot receive the 
metaphysics of virtue. It is impossible to 
explain to a child, for instance, the reasons for 
truthfulness, which, indeed, have grown out of 
the experience of the human race as matured 
by many ages. And so of humanity to animals, 
which is mainly a Darwinian revival of Buddhist 
sentiment based on a doctrine of transmigration. 
And the same may be said of other virtues. 
We must not suppose that a child has no 
scepticism because he cannot express or explain 
it in words ; it will appear in the sweetness to 
him of stolen apples, in the fact that to label a 
thing "naughty" may only render it more 
tempting to a healthy boy. A philosopher said, 
" A fence is the temptation to a jump." 

Our ethical teaching is vitiated by an in- 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 49 

heritance from theology of a superstition which 
subordinates conduct to its motives. Really, if 
conduct be good, the motive (generally too 
complex for even consciousness to analyse) is of 
least importance. Motives are important as 
causing conduct, but the Law is just in assuming 
good or bad motives for the corresponding 
actions. The world does not depend on a man's 
inner but on his outer life. Emerson once 
scandalised some of his admirers by saying that 
he preferred a person who did not respect the 
truth to an unpresentable person. But, no doubt, 
he would regard the presentable person as 
possessing virtues of equal importance. The 
nurture of "civility and decent behaviour in 
company and conversation," is not of secondary, 
but primary, importance. 

For what does it imply ? If the Rules about 
to be submitted are examined, it will be found 
thjit their practice draws on the whole moral 
world, as in walking every step draws on the uni- 
versal gravitation. Scarcely one Rule is there 
that does not involve self-restraint, modesty, 
habitual consideration of others, and, to a large 
extent, living for others. Yet other Rules draw 



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50 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

on the profounder deeps of wisdom and virtue, 
under a subtle guise of handsome behaviour. 
If youth can be won to excellence by love ot 
beauty, who shall gainsay? 

It may occur to the polished reader that well- 
bred youths know and practise these rules of 
civility by instinct. But the best bred man's 
ancestors had to learn them, and the rude pro- 
genitors of future gentlemen have to learn them. 
Can it be said, however, that those deemed 
well-bred do really know and practise these 
rules of civility instinctively ? Do they practise 
them when out of the region of the persons or 
the community in whose eyes they wish to find 
approval? How do they act with Indians, 
Negroes, or when travelling amongst those to 
whose good opinion they are indifferent ? In a 
Kentucky court a witness who had spoken of a 
certain man as " a gentleman," was pressed for 
his reasons, and answered, "If any man goes to 
his house he sets out the whisky, then goes and 
looks out of the window." It is doubtful if 
what commonly passes for politeness in more 
refined regions is equally humanised with that 
of the Kentuckian so described. Indeed the 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 51 

only difificulty in the way of such teaching as is 
here suggested, is the degree to which the words 
"lady" and "gentleman" have been lowered 
from their original dignity. 

The utilization of the social sentiment as a 
motive of conduct in the young need not, how- 
ever, depend on such terms, though these are by 
no means beyond new moralization in any home 
or school. An eminent Englishman told me 
that he once found his little son pointing an old 
pistol at his sister. The ancient pistol was not 
dangerous, but the action was. "Had I told 
him it was dangerous," he said, " it might only 
have added spice to the thing, but I said, * I am 
surprised. I thought you were a little gentle- 
man, but that is the most ungentlemanly thing 
you could do.' The boy quickly laid aside the 
pistol, with deep shame. I have found nothing 
so restraining for my children as to suggest that 
any conduct is ungentlemanly or unladylike." 
And let my reader note well the great moral 
principles in these rules of civility and decent 
behaviour. The antithesis of " sinful! " is " man- 
full." Washington was taught that all good con- 
duct was gentlemanly, all bad conduct ill-bred. 



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52 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

It is to be hoped that the time is not far 
distant when in every school right rules of 
civility will be taught as a main part of the curri- 
culum. Something of the kind was done by the 
late Bronson Alcott, in the school he founded in' 
Boston, Massachusetts, near fifty years ago, for 
children gathered from the street. The school 
was opened every morning with a "conduct 
lesson," as it was called. It will be seen by 
Miss Elizabeth Peabod/s "Records of a School" 
that the children crowded to the door before it 
was opened in their anxiety not to lose a word 
of this lesson. And, rude as most of the 
children were, this instruction, consisting of 
questions and answers, gradually did away with 
all necessity for corporal punishments. 

It were a noble task for any competent hand 
to adapt the Rules given in this volume, and 
those of the later French work, and still more 
those of Master Obadiah Walker's book on 
" Education," to the conditions and ideas of our 
time, for the use of schools. From the last- 
named work, that of a Master of University 
College, Oxford, I will take for my conclusion a 
pregnant passage. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 53 

" The greatest Magnetismes in the World are 
Civility^ Conforming to the innocent humours, 
and infirmities, sometimes, of others, readiness 
to do courtesies for all, Speaking well of all 
behind their backs. And 2ly Affability^ which 
is not only to be used in common and uncon- 
ceming speech, but upon all occasions. A man 
may deny a request, chide, reprehend, com- 
mand, &c affably y with good words, nor is there 
anything so harsh which may not be inoffen- 
sively represented." 



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NOTE, 

There has been no alteration of the original French 
and English documents in the pages following. The 
spelling, punctuation, use of small or capital letters, 
italics, etc., whether faults or archaisms, are strictly 
preserved. 

The word ' Maxim ' refers to the early French work 
(of the Jesuit Fathers). ' Rule refers to Washington's 
MS. 

* Hawkins ' indicates the English version of the Maxims, 
chiefly the anonymous additions thereto. See p. 19. 

' Walker ' refers to Obadiah Walker's work on Edu- 
cation, spoken of on p. 18. 

•The later French book' refers to the anonymous 
work of 1673, translated into English, mentioned on 
p. 17. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 55 



i!* Every Action done in Company ought 
to be with Some Sign of Respect, to those that 
are Present. 

MAXIMES, Chap. II. 

Chapter ii. i. Que toutes actions qui se font publique- 
ment fassent voir son sentiment respectueux à toute la 
compagnie. 

AU actions done before others should be with some 
sign of respectful feeling to the entire company. 



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56 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



2^ When in Company, put not your Hands 
to any Part of the Body not usually Discovered. 

Chapter ii, 3. Gardez-vous bien de toucher de la 
main aucune partie de vostre corps, de celles qui ne sont 
point en veuë, en la presence d'aucune autre personne. 
Pour les mains, & le visage, cela leur est ordinaire. Et 
afin de vous y accoustumer pratiquez ce poinct de^ 
ciuilité mesme en vostre particulier. 

In the presence of any one, never put your hand to 
any part of the person not usually uncovered. As for 
the hands and face they are usually visible. In order to 
form a habit in this point of decency, practise it even 
when with your intimate friend. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 57 



3? Shew Nothing to your Friend that may 
affright him. 

Chapter ii. 4. Ne faites pas voir a vostre compagnon, 
ce qui luy pourroit faire mal au coeur. 

Show nothing to your companion that may grieve him. 



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58 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



4*^ In the Presence of Others sing not to 
yourself with a humming Noise, nor Drum, 
with your Fingers or Feet. 

Chapter ii. 5. Ne vous amusez pas à chanter en vous 
mesme, si vous ne vous rencontrez si fort à l'écart 
qu'aucun autre ne vous puisse entendre, non plus qu'à 
contre-faire le son du tambour par l'agitation des pieds 
ou des mains. 

Do not seek amusement in singing to yourself, unless 
beyond the hearing of others, nor drum with your hands 
or feet. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, 59 



5*^ If you Cough, Sneeze, Sigh, or Yawn, do 
it not Loud, but Privately ; and Speak not in 
your Yawning, but put your handkerchief or 
Hand before your face and turn aside. 

Chapter ii. 8. Quand vous toussez ou quand vous 
esterauez, si vous pouuez estre le maistre de ces efforts 
de nature, n'éclatez pas si hautement & si fort. Ne 
poussez soupirs si aigres que les autres les puissent 
entendre, 

9. Ne soufflez pas si asprement, faisant des hurle- 
ments en baaillant. Et s'il vous est possible, empeschez 
vous absolumêt de baailler ; mais ayez en un bien plus 
soin, quand vous entretenez avec quelqu'vn, ou dans 
quelque conuersation. Car c'est un signe manifest d'un 
certain dégoust de ceux avec qui vous vivez. Si vous 
ne pouvez pas empescher de baailler, du moins gardez 
vous bien de parler en cet instant mesme, & d'ouurir 
extraordinairemêt la bouche ; mais pressez la sagement, 
ou en détournant tant soi peu la face de la côpagnie. 

Whenever you cough or sneeze, if you can control 
these efforts of nature, do not let the sound be high or 



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6o RULES OF CIVILITY. 

strong. Do not heave sighs so piercing as to attract 
attention. Do not breathe heavily, or make noises in 
yawning. If you can, abstain from yawning, especially 
The later French while with any one, or in conversa- 
book advises one, ^jqjj^ por it is a plain sign of a cer- 

in sneezing, not to 

shake the founda- tain dislike of those with whom you 
tions of the house. ^^^j^ If you cannot keep from yawn- 
ing, at least be careful not to speak while doing so, and 
not to gape excessively ; press your mouth adroitlv or 
n turning a little from the company. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, 6i 



6'^ Sleep not when others Speak, Sit not 
when others stand, Speak not when you should 
hold your Peace, walk not when others Stop 

Chapter ii. ii. C'est vne inciuilité & vne impertinence 
de dormir, pendant que la cOpagnie s'entretient de 
discours ; de se tenir assis lors que tout le monde est 
debout, de se promener lors que personne ne branle, & 
de parler, quad il est temps de se taire ou d'écouter. 
Pour celuy toutesfois qui a l'authorité, il y a des temps 
& des lieux où il luy est permis de se promener seul, 
comme à un Précepteur qui est dans la classe. 

It is an incivility and an impertinence to doze while 
the company is conversing, to be seated while the rest 
stand, to walk on when others pause, and to speak when 
you should be silent, or listen. For those in authority, 
as a Master in school, there are times and places when 
it is admissible to walk alone. 



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62 RULES OF CIVILITY, 



7*^ Put not oflf your Cloths in the presence of 
Others, nor go out of your Chamber half Drest. 

Chapter ii. 12. II n'est pas scant d'auoir son lict 
en mauuais ordre dans sa chambre, non plus que de 
s'habiller en la presence des autres, ou de s'y dépouiller, 
ou de sortir de sa mesme chambre à demy habillé, 
couuert de sa coiffe, ou bonnet-de-nuict, de rester de- 
bout en sa châbre ou estre attaché à son pulpitre auec 
sa robe ouverte. Et quoy que vous ne manquiez pas de 
serviteur qui prenne le soin de faire vostre lict ; toutes- 
fois en sortant, prenez garde de le laisser découvert. 

It is not seemly to leave your bed disarranged, to dress 
or undress before others, or to leave your chamber half- 
dressed, covered with a hood, or night-cap, or to remain 
standing in your room or at your desk with open gown. 
And although you have a servant to make your bed, 
nevertheless, take care when you go out to leave it 
uncovered. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, 63 



8*î* At Play and at Fire its Good manners to 
give Place to the last Commer, and affect not 
to Speak Louder than ordenary. 

Chapter ii. 15. II est mal-seant, dans le jeu, ou auprès 
du feu de faire attendre trop long-temps ceux qui vien- 
nent à s'y presenter. 

It is impolite at play, or at the fireside, to make the 
new-comers wait for places too long. 

{In the second clause, *' affect not" âfc, tke Washing- 
ton MS. follows Hawkins in misunderstanding a phrase 
of the next Maxim: *' Prenez garde de vous échauffer 
trop au jeu, 6* aux emportements qui s'y eleuet" — a 
warning against being overheated at play, and " carried 
away by its excitements") 



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64 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



g^ Spit not in the Fire, nor Stoop low before 
it neither Put your Hands into the Flames to 
warm them, nor Set your Feet upon the Fire 
especially if there be meat before it 

Chapter ii. 17, C'est une action peu hOneste de 
cracher dans la cheminée, d'approcher ses mains trop 
prés de la flâme pour les échauffer, & de les mettre 
même dedans, de se baisser deuât le feu, comme si l'on 
estoit assis à terre & s'y tenir courbé. S'il arriue qu'il y 
ait quelque chose deuant le feu, a cuire, prenez bien 
garde d'estendre le pied pardessus le feu. Dans une 
honneste compagnie n'y tournez iamais le dos, & ne 
vous en approchez point plus prés que les autres : car ce 
sont des priuileges de personnes qualifiées. Quand il 
n'en est point besoin, de remuer le feu, y pousser le bois, 
l'y fourrer plus auant ou l'en leuer, il n'appartient qu'à 
celuy qui doit auoir le soin de tout ce qui est à faire. 

It is not a handsome action to spit in the fireplace, or, 
in warming the hands, to hold them nearly in the flame, 
or as if resting on the ground and crouching beside it. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 



65 



If anything is cooked before the fire, do not extend your 

foot over it. In polite society do not turn your back to 

the fife, and do not approach it closer The use of the nega- 

than others ; these are privil^es of 

persons of rank. When there is need 

of stirring the fire, putting wood on 

it, pulling or lifting it, this belongs to 

the person who has the general superintendence of those 

things. 



tive in the French 
original <'n'en est 
point') seems erro- 
neous, and is disre- 
garded in this trans- 
lation. 



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66 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



Io*^ When you Sit down, Keep your Feet 
firm and Even, without putting one on the 
other or Crossing them 

Chapter ii. i8. Pour l'ordre que Ton doit tenir étant 
assis, c'est de placer bien ses pieds à terre en égale dis- 
tance que les cuisses, non pas de croiser vne cuisse ou vn 
pied sur l'autre. 

When seated, the feet should be placed well on the 
ground, in even distance with the legs, and neither a leg 
or a foot should be crossed on the other. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 67 



II*? Shift not yourself in the Sight of others 
nor Gnaw your nails. 

Chapter ii. 7. C'est vne inciuilité insupportable 
d'allonger son corps en estendant les bras, ou de faire 
différents postures. 

Chapter iii. 19. Il ne faut iamais rogner ses ongles 
dans le public, & bien moins les prendre à belles dents. 

It is insufferably impolite to stretch the body, extend 
the arms, or to assume different postures. 

Do not pare your nails in public, much less gnaw 
them. 



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68 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



I2*^ Shake not the head, Feet, or Legs rowl 
not the Eys, lift not one eyebrow higher than 
the other wry not the mouth, and bedew no 
mans face with your Spittle, by appr[oaching 
too nea]r [when] you Speak. 

Chapter ii. 21. Vous ne hocherez la teste, vous ne 
remuerez point les jambes, ny ne rouillerez les yeux, ne 
froncerez point les sourcils, ou tordrez la bouche. Vous 
vous garderez de laisser aller auec vos paroles de la 
saliue, ou du crachat aux visages de ceux, auec qui 
vous conversez. Pour obvier à cet accident, vous ne 
vous en approcherez point si prés ; mais vous les entre- 
tiendrez dans vne distâce raisonnable. 

Shake not the head, nor fidget the legs, nor roll the 
eyes, nor frown, nor make mouths. Be careful not to 
let saliva escape with your words, nor any spittle fly into 
the faces of those with whom you converse. To avoid 
such accident do not approach them too near, but keep 
at a reasonable distance. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, 69 

I3*^ Kill no Vermin as Fleas, lice ticks &c 
in the Sight of Others, if you See any filth or 
thick Spittle put your foot Dexteriously upon it 
if it be upon the Cloths of your Companions, 
Put it off privately, and if it be upon your own 
Cloths return Thanks to him who puts it off 

Chapter ii. 22. Gardez vous biê de vous arrester à 
tuer vne puce, ou quelque sale bestiole de cette espèce, 
en presence de qui que a puisse estre. Que si quelque 
chose d'immôde vient à vous offenser la veuë, en regard- 
ant à terre, comme quelque crachat infect, ou quelque' 
autre chose semblable, mettez le pied dessus. S'il en 
attache quelque'vne aux habits de celuy à qui vous 
parlez, pu voltige dessus, gardez vouz bien de la luy 
monstrer, ou à quelqu' autre personne ; mais trauaillez 
autant que vous pourrez à l'oster adroitement Et s'il 
arriue que quelqu' vn vous oblige tant que de vous défaire 
de quelque chose de semblable, faites luy paroistre vostre 
reconnoissance. 

Do not stop to kill a flea, or other disgusting insect- of 
the kind, in the presence of any one. If anything dis- 
gusting offends the sight on the ground, as phlegm, 
etc., put your foot on it. If it be on any garment of 
one to whom you are talking, do not show it to him or 
another, but do your best to remove it unobserved. If 
any one oblige you in a thing of that kind make him 
your acknowledgments. 



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70 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



I4*^ Turn not your Back to others especially 
in Speaking, Jog not the Table or Desk on 
which Another reads or writes lean not upon 
any one. 

Chapter ii. 24. En la rencontre que Ton fait des per- 
sonnes, quand on les entretient, c'est une chose mal- 
séante de leur tourner le dos & les épaules. C'est vne 
action impertinente de heurter la table ou d'ébranler le 
pupitre, dont vn autre se sert pour lire, ou pour écrire. 
C'est vne inciuilité de s'appuyer sur quelqu'vn, de tirer 
sa robbe, lors que l'on luy parle ou que l'on le peut 
entretenir. 

When one meets people, it is very unbecoming in 
speaking to them to turn one's back and shoulders to 
them. It is an impertinent action to knock against the 
table, or to shake the desk, which another person is 
using for reading or writing. It is uncivil to lean 
against any one, or to pluck his dress when speaking 
to him, or while entertaining him in conversation. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, 71 



1 5*^ Keep ycfur Nails clean and Short, also 
your Hands and Teeth Clean, yet without Shew- 
ng any great Concern for them 

Chapter ii. 25. Gardez vous bien de vous arrester en 
toute sorte de conuersation, à rajuster vostre rabat, ou à 
rehausser vos chausses pour les faire ioindre & en paroître 
plus galaud. Que vos ongles ne soient point replis d'or- 
dures, ny trop longs. Ayez grand soin de la netteté de 
vos mains ; mais n'y recherchez point la volupté. 

Take good care not to stop, in any sort of conversa- 
tion, to adjust your bands, or to pull up your stockings 
to make them join so as to look more gallant. Do not 
let your nails be full of dirt or too Hawkins: "with- 
long. Have a great regard for the Z^^^^ 
cleanliness of your hands, but do not or curiosity." 
be finikin about it. 



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72 RULES OF CIVILITY, 



1 6* Do not puff up the Cheeks, Loll not out 
the tongue rub the Hands, or beard, thrust out 
the lips, or bite them or keep the lips too open 
or too close. 

Chapter ii. 26. C'est une vilainie de s'enfler les joues, 
de tirer la langue, de se manier la barbe, se frotter les 
mains, d'estendre ses lèvres ou les mordre, de les tenir 
trop serrées ou trop entrouuertes. 

It is very low to pufF out the cheeks, to put out the 
tongue, to pull one's beard, rub one's hands, poke out 
or bite the lips, or to keep them too tightly closed or too 
open. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY 73 



17*? Be no Flatterer, neither Play with any 
that delights not to be Play'd Withal. 

Chapter il 27. Ne flattez & n'amadoiiez personne par 
belles paroles, car celui qui pretend d'en gagner un autre 
par les discours emmiellez, fait voir qu'il n'en a pas 
grande estime, & qu'il le tient pour peu sensé & adroit, 
dés qu'il le prend pour vn home que l'on peut ioûer en 
cette manière: n*usez point de gausseries auprès d'vne 
personne qui s'en offense. 

Do not flatter or wheedle any one with fair words, for 
he who aspires to gain another person by his honied 
words shows that he does not hold him in high esteem 
and that he deems him far from sensible or clever, in 
taking him for a man who may be tricked in this 
manner : do not play practical jokes on those who do 
not like it. 



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74 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

I8*^ Read no Letters, Books, or Papers in 
Company but when there is a Necessity for the 
doing of it you must ask leave : come not near 
the Books or Writings of Another so as to read 
them unless desired or give your opinion of 
them unask'd also look not nigh when another 
is writing a Letter 

Chapter ii. 28. C'est vne action directemët opposée à 
la bien-séance, de lire quelque livre, quelques lettres ou 
autres choses semblables dans vne conversation ordi- 
naire, si ce n'est en vne affaire pressante, ou pour quel^ 
que peu de moments ; & mesme encore en ce cas, est-il 
à propos d'en demâder la permission, si vous n'estes, 
possible, le Supérieur de la compagnie. C'est encore pis 
de manier les ouvrages des autres, leurs livres, & d'autres 
choses de cette nature, de s'y attacher, d'en approcher 
la veuë de plus prés, sans la permission de celuy à qui 
la chose appartient, aussi bien que de leur donner des 
louanges, ou les censurer, auant que l'on vous en de- 
mande vostre sentiment ; de s'appiDcher trop prés, & 
d'incommoder celuy de qui ou est voisin, lors qu'il prend 
la lecture de ses lettres ou de quelqu'-autre chose. 

It is an act directly opposed to politeness to read a 
book, letters or anything else during ordinary con- 
versation, if it be not a pressing matter, or only for a 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 75 

few moments, and even in that case it is proper to ask 
leave unless you are, possibly, the highest in rank of the 
company. It is even worse to handle other people's 
work, their books or other things of that nature, to go 
close to them, to look at them closely without the per- 
mission of the OMOier, and also to praise or find fault 
with them before your opinion has been asked ; to come 
too close to any one near by, when he is reading his 
letters or anything else. 



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76 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



19^ let your Countenance be pleasant but in 
Serious Matters Somewhat grave 

Chapter ii. 29. Que le visage ne paroisse point fan- 
tastique, changeant, égaré, rauy en admiration, couuert 
de tristesse, divers & volage, & ne fasse paroltre aucun 
signe d'vn esprit inquiet : Au contraire, qu'il soit ouuert 
& tranquille, mais qu'il ne soit pas trop épanoûy de joye 
dans les affaires sérieuses, ny trop retiré par vne granité 
affectée dans la conversation ordinaire & familière de la 
vie humaine. 

The face should not look fantastic, changeable, absent, 
rapt in admiration, covered with sadness, various and 
volatile, and it should not show any signs of an unquiet 
mind. On the contrary, it should be open and tranquil, 
but not too expansive with joy in serious affairs, nor too 
self-contained by an affected gravity in the ordinary and 
familiar conversation of human life. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, 77 



2o*^ The Gestures of the Body must be 
Suited to the discourse you are upon 

Hawkins i. 30. Let the gestures of thy body, be 
agreeable to the matter of thy discourse. For it hath 
been ever held a solaesime in oratory, to poynt to the 
Earth, when thou talkest of Heaven. 

{TAe nearest Maxim to this is one directed against 
excessive and awkward gesticulation in speaking, in 
which it is said: " Parmy les discours regardez à mettre 
vostre corps en belle posture" ( While speaking be careful 
to assume an elegant posture). 



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78 RULES OF CIVILITY, 



21^ Reproach none for the Infirmaties of 
Nature, nor Delight to Put them that have in 
mind thereof. 

Chapter iv. 6. Ne reprochez les défauts à personne, 
non pas mesme de la nature, & ne prenez plaisir à faire 
confusion à qui que ce soit, par vos paroles. 

Reproach none for their Infirmities — avoid it equally 
Hawidns adds: when they are natural ones — and do 

"which by no Art 

can be amended." not take pleasure in Uttering words 
that cause any one shame, whoever it may be. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 79 



22^ Shew not yourself glad at the Misfortune 
of another though he were your enemy 

Hawkins I 32. When thou shall heare the misfor- 
tunes of another, shew not thy selfe gladed for it, though 
it happ to thy enemy, for that will argue a mind mis- 
chievous, and will convict thee of a desire to have 
executed it thy selfe, had either power or opertunity 
seconded thy will. 

{Nothing corresponding to Rule 22 is found among the 
Maxims of the Jesuit fathers ; but the later French book 
has the following : ' Shew not your self joyful and pleaded 
at the misfortunes that have befallen another^ though you 
hated him, it argues a mischievous mind, and that you 
had a desire to have done it your self, if you had had the 
power or opportunity to your will. ' ) 



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go RULES OF CIVILITY, 



23^ When you see a Crime punished, you 
may be inwardly Pleased ; but always shew 
Pity to the Suffering Offender. 

Hawkins i. 33. When thou seest justice executed on 
any, thou maist inwardly take delight in his vigilancy, 
to punish offenders, because it tends to publique quiet, 
yet shew pity to the offender, and ever Constitute the 
defect of his morality, thy precaution. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 8i 



[24* Do not laugh too loud or] too much at 
any Publick [spectacle, lest you TWsRuie has been 

nearly destroye by 

cause yourself to be laughed at.] mice. 



Hawkins i. 34. Laugh not too much or too Loud, in 
any publique spectacle least for thy so doing, thou pre- 
sent thy selfe, the only thing worthy to be laughed at. 



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82 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



25* Superfluous Complements and all AfFec* 
tation of Ceremony are to be avoided, yet where 
due they are not to be Neglected 

Chapter iii. i. Quoy qu'il soit bon de s'épargner vn 
trop gr&d soing de pratiquer vne ciuilité affectée, il faut 
pourtant estre exact à en obseruer ce qui est nécessaire 
& auantageux pour faire paroistre une belle éducation, 
& ce qui ne se peut obmettre sans choquer ceux auec 
qui l'on converse. 

Though it is right to avoid too great care in practising 
an affected civility, yet one must be exact in observing 
what is necessary and advantageous in order to show a 
good education, and all that cannot be omitted without 
shocking those with whom one is conversing. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, S3 

26*? In pulling off your Hat to Persons of 
Distinction, as Noblemen, Justices, Churchmen, 
&c make a Reverence, bowing more or less 
according to the Custom of the Better Bred, 
and Quality of the Persons Amongst your 
equals expect not always that they Should 
begin with you first, but to Pull off the Hat 
when there is no need is Affectation, in the 
Manner of Saluting and resaluting in words 
keep to the most usual Custom. 



Chapter Hi. 2, Témoignez vos respects aux hommes 
illustres & honorables, le chappeau en la main, comme 
aux Ecclésiastiques, ou aux Magistrats, ou à quelques 
autres personnes qualifiées; en tenant vers vous le 
dedans du chappeau que vous aurez osté: Faites leur 
aussi la reverence par quelque inclination de corps, 
autant que la dignité de chacun d'eux, & la belle cou- 
tume des enfants bien nourris, le semble exiger. Et 
comme c'est vne chose fort inciuile de ne se pas découurir 
devant ceux à qui l'on doit ce respect, pour les saluer, 
ou d'attendre que vostre égal vous rend le premier ce 
deuoir ; aussi de le faire, quand il n'est pas à propos, 
ressët sa ciuilité affectée : mais c'est vne honteuse imper- 
tinence de prendre garde si l'on vous rend vostre saluta- 
tion. Au reste pour saluer quelqu'vn de parole, ce 



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84 RULES OF CIVILITY, 

compliment semble le plus propre, qui est vsité par 
persomies le plus polies. 

Show your respect for illustrious and honourable men, 
—such as Ecclesiastics, Magistrates, or other persons of 
quality, — hat in hand, holding the inside of the removed 
hat towards you ; make your reverence to them by inclining 
your body as much as the dignity of each and the custom 
of well-bred youth seems to demand. And, as it is very 
rude not to uncover the head before those to whom one 
owes such respect, in order to salute them, or to wait 
till your equal should perform this duty towards you first, 
so also, to do it when it is not fitting savours of affected 
politeness : but it is shameful impertinence to be anxious 
for the return of one's salute. Finally, it seems most 
fitting to salute any one in words, a compliment which 
the politest persons are in the habit of using. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 85 

27* Tis ill manners to bid one more eminent 
than yourself be covered as well as not to do it 
to whom it's due Likewise he that makes too 
much haste to Put on his hat does not well, yet 
he ought to Put it on at the first, or at most the 
Second time of being ask'd ; now what is herein 
Spoken, of Qualification in behaviour in Salut- 
ing, ought also to be observed in taking of 
Place, and Sitting down for ceremonies without 
Bounds is troublesome. 



Chapter iii. 3. C'est une grande inciuilité d'entre- 
prendre de prier vn supérieur de se couurir, aussi bien 
que de n'en pas supplier celuy à qui cela se peut faire. 
Et celuy qui se haste trop de se couurir, particulièrement 
en parlât à quelque personne qualifiée, ou qui pressé par 
plusieurs fois de ce faire, le refuse, choque la bien- 
scéance ; c'est pour cela qu'à la i. ou 2. fois il est permis 
de se couurir, si l'vsage ne se trouue contraire en quelque 
Prouince ou Royaume. Et en effet entre les égaux, ou 
auec de plus âgez, soit Religieux, ou domestiques, il est 
permis d'accorder cette requeste à vn égal ou à vn plus 
ieune, dés la i. fois. Toutefois ceux qui sôt égaux, ou 
fort peu différents les vns des autres, ont coustume de 
se faire cette prière, & de se couurir tout ensemble. 
Toutes les remarques dôc qui se sont faites icy de la 



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86 RULES OF CIVILITY, 

bonne côduite, doiuent estre aussi entendues de Tordre 
qu'il faut tenir à prendre place, & à s'asseoir: car le 
plaisir que l'on prend aux ciuilitez & aux complimës, est 
tout à fait importun. 

It is very impolite to ask a superior to be covered, as 
it is not to do so in the case of one with regard to whom 
it is proper. And the man who is in haste to put his 
hat on, especially in talking to a person of quality, or 
who, having been urged several times to do so, refuses, 
shocks good manners ; for this reason, after the first or 
second request, it is allowable to put the hat on, unless 
in some province or kingdom where the usage is other- 
wise. In fact, amongst equals, or with those who are 
older, or who belong to religious orders, or domestics, 
it is allowable to grant that request to one's equal or to 
a younger man, at the very first time. However, those 
of equal rank, or between whom there is little difference 
of rank, usually make the request and put on their hats 
at the same time. All the remarks here made on polite 
conduct, must also be extended to the order to be ob- 
served in taking places, and in sitting down ; for the 
pleasure taken in ceremonies and compliments is really 
irksome. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 87 



28*^ If any one come to Speak to you while 
you are Sitting Stand up tho he be your In- 
feriour, and when you Present Seats let it be 
to every one according to his Degree. 

Chapter iii, 5. Si vous estes assis, lors que quelq*vn 
vous vient rendre visite, leuez-vous dés qu'il approche ; 
si la dignité de la personne demande cette deference, 
comme s'il a quelque aduantage sur vous, s'il vous est 
égal, ou inférieur ; mais non pas fort familier. Si vous 
vous reposez chez vous, ayât quelque siege, faites en 
soite de traiter chacun selô son mente. 

If you are sitting down when any one pays you a call 
rise as soon as he comes near; whether his position 
demands that deference, as having precedence over you, 
or if he be your equal, or inferior ; but not if he is on 
very intimate terms with you. If you are in your own 
house, having any seat to offer, manage to treat each 
guest according to his station. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 



29^ When you meet with one of Greater 
Quality than yourself, Stop, and retire espe- 
cially if it be at a Door or any Straight place 
to give way for him to Pass 

Chapter iii. 6. Quand vous rencontrez des personnes 
à qui vous deuez du respect, outre les devoirs d'vne 
salutation ordinaire, vous estes obligé de vous arrester 
quelque peu de temps, ou de rebrousser chemin jusqu'à 
l'entrée des portes, ou aux coins des rues, pour leur 
donner passage. 

In meeting those to whom you should shew respect 
Walker says, "If beyond the salutations which are 

you meet a superior 

in a narrow way, their due, you should stop a little, 
stop, and press to ^^ ^.^^^^^ ^^ ^ threshold. Or to 

make him more 

room." the corner of the street, so as to 

make way for them. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 89 

30*? In walking the highest Place in most 
Countrys Seems to be on the right hand there- 
fore Place yourself on the left of him whom you 
desire to Honour : but if three walk together 
the middle Place is the most Honourable the 
wall is usually given to the most worthy if two 
walk together. 

Chapter iii. 7. S'il arriue que vous faciez la pro- 
menade auec eux, veus leur laisserez tousiours la place 
honorable, qui est celle qui sera marquée par I'vsage. 
A parler generalemët, il semble que plusieurs Nations 
ont passé en coustume que la droite soit tenue pour vne 
marque de reuerence, de telle soit, que quand quelq'vn 
veut déférer à un autre, il le mette à sa droicte, en pren- 
ant sa gauche. Lors que trois hommes se promènent 
ensemble, le plus qualifié a tousiours le milieu : Celuy 
qui tient la droite, a le second lieu, & l'autre qui reste 
à la gauche, n'a que le troisième. Mais en France, 
quand l'on se promené au long d'vn mur ; par ce que 
ce lieu est presque toujours plus eleué & plus net à 
cause de sa pente, la coutume porte presque par tout 
qu'elle soit laissée au plus qualifié, & particulieremët 
quand deiuc personnes marchSt ensemble. 

If you happen to take a walk with them, always give 
them the place of honour, which is that pointed out by 



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90 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

usage. To speak generally, it appears that several 
nations have made it a custom that the right should 
always be held as a mark of esteem, so that, when any 
one wishes to honour another, he will put him on his 
right, himself taking the left. When three are walking 
together, he of the highest quality always has the middle : 
he who takes the right has the second place, and the 
other who remains on the left has the third. But in 
France, when walking by the side of a wall, that place 
being almost always higher and cleaner because of the 
slope, the custom almost always is that it be yielded 
to the man of the highest quality, and particularly 
when two are walking together. 



/ 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, 91 

31?' If any one far Surpasses others, either 
in age Estate, or Merit [yet, in any particular 
instance,] would give Place to a meaner than 
himself [in his own house or elsewhere] the 
one ought not to except it. So [the other, for 
fear of making him appear uncivil, ought not 
to press] it above once or twice. 

Chapter iii. 9. Si celuy qui se trouuera beaucoup 
plus avancé en âge, ou auantagé en dignité, soit en sa 
maison ou en quelqu'autre lieu, veut honorer son infé- 
rieur, comme il n'est pas à propos que cet inférieur s'en 
esUme digne, de mesme aussi ne faut-il pas que celuy 
qui est supérieur, l'en presse auec trop de soin, ou luy 
témoigne sa deference plus d'vne ou deux fois, de crainte 
que l'assiduité de sa supplication réitérée ne rabatte 
quelque chose de la bône opinion que celuy qui le 
refuse, avoit côceu de son addresse & de sa courtoisie, 
ou qu'il luy fasse commettre enfin une inciuilité. 

If he who is much the older, or has the advantage of 
rank, wishes, in his house or elsewhere, to honour his 
inferior, as it is not fitting that such inferior should 
think himself worthy, so also the superior must not 
press him too much or show such deference more than 
once or twice, lest the assiduity of his reiterated requests 
lower somewhat the good opinion which he who refuses 
had conceived of his tact and courtesy, or lest, at last, 
it cause him to be guilty of some incivility. 



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92 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



32^ To one that is your equal, or not much 
inferior you are to give the chief Place in your 
Lodging and he to who *tis offered ought at the 
first to refuse it but at the Second to accept 
though not without acknowledging his own 
unworthiness 

Chapter iii. 10. Mais entre les égaux, il est bien à 
propos en reœuant quelqu'vn dans sa maison, de luy 
donner la place la plus honnorable. Et celuy à qui l'on 
fait un si bon accueil, en doit faire quelque refus d'abord, 
mais à la seconde instance de son amy, il luy doit obeyr. 

But amongst equals, it is quite right, in receiving any 
Maxim iii 8, which one into one's house, to give him the 

says that acceptance 1,1 

of a first place should most honourable place ; and the per- 
^ ^3!^e^t ^^ ^o who™ one accords such a good 
ofunworthiness.isre- reception ought at first rather to 

presented in the last 

words of Rule 32. rcfuse it, but, when his friend insists 

a second time, he ought to obey him. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, 93 

33*? They that are in Dignity or in office have 
in all places Preceedency but whilst they are 
Young they ought to respect those that are 
their equals in Birth or other Qualitys, though 
they have no Publick charge. 

Chapter iii. 12. A ceux qui ont le cOmandement, & 
qui sont dans le pouuoir, ou qui exercent les Charges de 
Judicature, l'on donne tousiours les premieres places en 
toute sorte de compagnie. Mais qu'ils sçachent eux- 
mesmes que s'ils sont jeunes, ils sont obligez de respecter 
ceux qui sont d'aussi noble maison qu'eux, ou qui les 
deuancent de beaucoup en âge, & sont honorez du 
degré de Doctorat ; quoy qu'ils n'exercent aucime charge 
publique ; Et bien plus, ils leur doiuent d'abord remettre 
la premiere place qu'il leur auoient déféré, & en suitte 
auec modestie, receuoir cest honneur comme une grace. 

In every company the first place is always given to 
those in command, or in power, or who exercise judicial 
charges. But these, if young, should realise that they 
ought to respect those who belong to houses as noble as 
their own, or who are much older, and those honoured 
with the degree of Doctor, though not exercising any 
public fimction ; and moreover they ought, at first, to 
return an offer of the highest place, and afterwards 
receive that honour modestly, as a favour. 



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94 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



34*!' It is good Manners to prefer them to 
whom we speak before our- 

The second clause 

is not in the French selves especially if they be 

Maxims. . , , . ^ 

above us with whom m no Sort 
we ought to begin. 

Chapter iii. 13. II est de la dernière ciuilité de parler 
tousiours mieux de ceux auec qui nous avons à conuerser, 
que de vous mesmes : Et particulieremêt quad ce sont 
des personnes éleuées audessus de nous, auec qui il ne 
faut iamais contester en aucune manière. 

It is the height of politeness always to speak better of 

those with whom we have to converse 
Compare the last 

clause of this Maxim than of ourselves. And particularly 
with Rule 4a » ^l r • 

when they are persons of a superior 
rank to ourselves, with whom we ought never to dispute 
in any fashion. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 95 



35* Let your Discourse with Men of Busi- 
ness be Short and Comprehensive. 

Chapter iii, 15. Le temps & le lieu, l'âge & la differ- 
ence des personnes doivent régler tout cet vsage de 
compliments qui se fait parmy les plus polis, & particu- 
lièrement ceux qui consistent dans les paroles. Mais 
l'on doit trancher court auec les personnes affairées & 
ne leur presenter plus aux nez toutes ses agréables 
fleurettes ; il les faut épargner, & se faire entendre plus- 
tost par mines, qu'auec des paroles. 

Time and place, age and the difference between per- 
sons, ought to regulate the whole custom of compli- 
ments as is done amongst the most polite, especially 
compliments that consist in words. But one should 
cut matters short with men of business, and not put 
one's fine flowerets under their nose ; one should spare 
them, and make himself understood rather by looks than 
words. 



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96 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



36* Artificers & Persons of low Degree ought 
not to use many ceremonies to Lords, or Others 
of high Degree but Respect and highly Honour 
them, and those of high Degree ought to treat 
them with affibility & Courtesie, without Arro- 
gancy 

Chapter iiL 16. Comme le soin de la ciuilité la plus 
raffinée ne doit pas beaucoup trauailler les esprits des 
Attisants & de la lie du peuple enuers les Grands & les 
Magistrats ; aussi est-il raisonnable qu'ils ayent soin de 
leur rendre de l'honneur : de mesme il est à propos que 
la Noblesse les traitte [sic] doucement & les épargne, & 
qu'elle éuite toute sorte de superbe. 

As the care for the most refined poUteness ought 
not to trouble much the minds of artizans and of the 
dregs of the people, as regards Nobles and Magistrates, 
while it is reasonable that they should take care to 
honour such, so it is also right that the nobility should 
treat them gently, spare them, and avoid all manner 
of arrogance. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 97 



37* In Speaking to men of Quality do not 
lean nor Look them full in the Face, nor ap- 
proach too near them at lest Keep a full Pace 
from them. 

Chapter iii. i8. En parlant aux personnes qualifiées, 
ne vous appuyez point le corps ; ne leuez point vos yeux 
iusques sur leur visage ; ne vous en approchez pas trop 
prés, & faites en sorte que ce ne soit iamais qu'à vn 
grâd pas de distance. 

In speaking to persons of quality, do not lean your 
body on any thing ; do not raise your eyes to their face ; 
do not go too near, and manage to keep a full step 
from them. 



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98 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



38* In visiting the Sick, do not Presently 
play the Physicion if you be not Knowing 
therein. 

Chapter iil 19. Quad vous visiterez quelque malade, 
ne faites pas aussi-tost le Medicin, si vous n'estes point 
expérimenté en cette science. 

When you go to see any sick person do not imme- 
diately act the physician if you are not experienced 
in that science. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 99 



39*^ In writing or Speaking, give to every 
Person his due Title According to his Degree 
& the Custom of the Place. 

Chapter iii. 20. Lore que vous addresserez des lettres 
à des personnes qui seront dans l'estime publique ; vous 
vous gouuernerez auprès d'eux, selon la coustume du 
pays & le degré de leur dignité. Quand vous aurez 
acheué vos lettres, relisez-les, pour en oster les fautes ; 
mettez de la poudre sur l'escriture, lore qu'il en sera 
besoin & ne pliez iamais vostre papier que les cbaracteres 
ne soient bien desechez, de crainte qu'ils ne s'effacent. 

In addressing lettere to persons held in public esteem, 
you will be regulated by the customs of the country and 
the degree of their dignity. When you have finished 
your letters, read them over again so as to correct mis- 
takes ; sand the writing, when necessary, and never fold 
your paper until the lettere are quite dry, lest they be 
effaced. 



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100 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



40* Strive not with your Superiers in argu- 
ment, but always Submit your Judgment to 
others with Modesty 

Hawkins ii. 20. Strive not with thy Superiours, 
in argument or discourse, but alwayes submit thy 
opinion to their riper judgment, with modesty; since 
the possibility of Erring, doth rather accompany greene 
than gray hairs. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. loi 



41^} Undertake not to Teach your equal in 
the art himself Professes ; it flavours of arro- 
gancy. 

Hawkins ii. 21. Doe not undertake to teach thy 
equal, in the Art himself professeth, for that will savour 
of Arrogancy, and serve for little other than to brand 
thy judgment with Rashnesse. 

(Nothing has been found in the French Maxims re- 
sembling Rule 41. Walker has the following : ' ' Cautious 
also must be he who discourseth even of thai he under- 
stands amongst persons of that profession : an affectation 
that more Scholars than wise men are guilty of; I mean 
to discourse with every man in his own faculty : except it 
be by asking questions and seeming to learn " {p. 266) ). 



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I02 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



[42^ Let your ceremonies in] curtesie be 
proper to the Dignity of his place [with whom 
you converse ; it is absurd to ac]t y^ same with 
a Clown and a Prince. 

Hawkins ii. 22. Let thy Seremonyes in Courtesy 
be proper to the dignity and place, of him with whom 
thou conversest. For it is absurd to honour a Clown 
with words courtly and of magnificence. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 103 



43^ Do not express Joy before one sick or 
in pain for that contrary Passion will aggravate 
his Misery 

Hawkins ii. 23. Do not thou expresse joy before 
one sick, or in paine; for that contrary passion, will 
aggravate his misery. But do thou rather sympathize 
his infirmityes, for that will afford a gratefull easement, 
by a seeming participation. 



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I04 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



it Succeeds not well blame not him that did it 

Chapter iv. 3. Celui qui fait tout ce qui luy est pos- 
sible, pour auancer vostre affaire, quoy qu'il ne la meine 
pas, & n'en puisse auoir le succez cdme vous l'espérez, 
ne doit point entendre de reprimàde ; puis qu'il est plus 
digne de loUange que de blâme. 

l'he man who does all he can to advance your busi- 
ness, even though he should not bring it about, and 
may not be able to obtain the success you hoped for, 
ought not to hear reproaches, since he is more worthy 
of praise than of blame. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, lOS 

45* Being to advise or reprehend any one, 
consider whether it ought to be in publick or 
in Private ; presently, or at Hawkins has only 

'sweetness.' Wash- 

Some Other time in what terms ington being here 

, . « . • 4^» closer to the 

to do It & in reproving Shew French. 

no signs of Cholar but do it with all Sweetness 

and Mildness 

Chapter iv. 4. Si vous auez à exhorter ou reprendre 
quelqu'vn, prenez bien garde, s'il est plus à propos de 
le faire en particulier ou en public, en ce temps ou en 
vn autre, bien plus, quelles paroles vous y deuez em- 
ployer : Et particulièrement lors que quelqu'vn ayât esté 
desia reprimâdé d'autres fois, ne se corrige point des 
fautes passées, & ne promet point d'amandement Et 
soit que vous donniez quelques auis, ou que vous fassiez 
quelque réprimande, donnez -vous de garde de vous 
mettre en cholere, au contraire pratiquez ces actions 
auec moderation & douceur. 

If you have to exhort or to reproach any one, con- 
sider whether it be better to do so in private or in 
public; at this time or another and, atx>ve all, what 
words you should use : and particularly when some one 
having been already reprimanded at other times does 
not correct himself of his past faults, and does not pro- 
mise any amendment. And if you give any advice, or 
impart any reprimand, carefully avoid anger ; on the 
contrary, do such acts with moderation and sweetness. 



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io6 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

46*^ Take all Admonitions thankfully in 
what Time or Place Soever given but after- 
wards not being culpable take a Time or Place 
Convenient to let him know it that gave them. 

Chapter iv. 5. Aussi quiconque se donnera la peine 
de vous remonstrer de quelque façô, en quelque lieu, & 
en quelque temps qu'il le fasse, qu'il soit écouté de vostre 
part auec beaucoup de ressentiment de bienueillanoe 
& de reconnoissance. Et après cela, si vous vous sentez 
innocent, & qu'il vous semble à propos de vous prouuer 
tel, il vous sera bien permis de le faire ; mais auec ce 
soin de prêdre bien vostre temps. & plustost ix)ur luy 
en faire voir la vérité, & le tirer de peine, & plus si vous 
estes en sa charge, ou si vous releuez de son pouuoir, 
que pour vous appuyer de quelque excuse. 

Also when any one takes the trouble to rebuke you, 
no matter how, where, or when he does it, hear him for 
your part with much feeling of goodwill and acknow- 
ledgment And after that, if innocent, and it seems 
right to prove yourself so, you will be quite at liberty 
to do so ; being careful, however, to choose a proper 
time, and rather to make him see the truth, and relieve 
him from anxiety, — ^the more if you are in his charge 
or depend on his authority— than to defend yourself with 
some excuse. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 107 

[4]7*^ Mock not nor Jest at anything of Im- 
portance break no Jest that are Sharp Biting, 
and if you Deliver anything witty and Pleasent 
abtain from Laughing thereat yourself. 

Chapter iv. 7. Ne vous amusez point aux equiuoques 
ny en matière importante, ny en choses honteuses. Si 
vous trouuez bon de railler, gardez vous bien de mordre, 
& bien plus de déchirer comme vn chien. Que les bons- 
mots & les rencontres soient tirées du suiet, que les vns 
& les autres ayent leur gentillesse & leur pointe, sans 
attirer l'indignation de personne. Que les plaisâteries 
ne soient point comme celles des bouffons, qui font rire 
par des representations extrauagâtes, & des actions des- 
honnestes : si vous rencontrez ioliment, si vous donnez 
quelque bon-mot, en faisant rire les autres, empeschez- 
vous-en, le plus qu'il vous sera possible. 

Do not divert yourself with equivoques, either in im- 
portant or in mean matters. If you find good occa- 
sion for a joke, be careful not to bite, still less to tear, 
like a dog. Witticisms and repartee should be to the 
point, and should have elegance and appropriateness 
without exciting the indignation of any. Do not let 
your pleasantries degenerate into those of buffoons, 
who raise laughter by extravagant representations and 
indecent action. If you are clever in reparKç, if you 
say a good thing, manage if possible, in making others 
laugh, to abstain from it yourself. 



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io8 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



48^^ Wherein wherein you reprove Another 
be unblameable yourself; for example is is 
more prevalent than Precepts 

Hawkins iii. 8. Be sure thy conversation be in that 
poynt vertuous, wherein thou art desirous to retaine 
another, least thy Actions render thy advice unprofit- 
able. Since the ratification of any advice is the serious 
prosecution of that vertue. For example hath ever been 
more prevalent than precept 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 109 



49*^ Use no Reproachful! Language against 
any one neither Curse nor Revile 

Hawkins iii. 11. Use no reproachfull language against 
any man, nor Curse, or Revile. For improperations 
and imprecations will rather betray thy affections than 
in any manner, hurt him against whom thou utters 
them. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 



[sy^^ Be not hasty to believe flying Reports 
to the Disparagement of any 

Hawkins iii. lo. Thou oughtest not too suddenly to 
believe a flying Rumour of a freind, or any other. But 
let charity guid thy judgment, untill more certainty: 
lor by this meanes thou securest his Reputation, and 
frees thy self of rashness. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, iii 

51^ Wear not your Cloths, foul, unript or 
Dusty but See they be Brush'd once every day 
at least and take heed that you approach not to 
any Uncleanness 

Chapter v. 4. Que vos habits ne demeurent point 
sales, déchirez, couuerts de poussière, ou pelez. Qu'ils 
soient tous les iours du moins vne fois nettoyez auec les 
époussettes. Et prenez bien garde aussi en quel lieu 
vous vous assoirez, où vous vous mettrez à genoux, où 
vous vous accouderez, que le lieu ne soit point mal- 
propre, ny reply d'immondices. Ne portez point le 
manteau sur le bras, à l'imitation des Fanfarons. Et 
mettant bas ou vostre robbe, ou vôtre mâteau, pliez les 
bien proprement & adroitement, & prenez bien garde 
où vous les posez. 

Do not let your clothes be dirty, torn, covered with 
dust or threadbare. Have them brushed at least once 
a day. And take care also in what place you sit down, 
or kneel, or rest your elbows, that it be not unfit or filthy. 
Do not carry your cloak over your arm after the manner 
of swaggerers. And when you take off your coat or 
cloak, fold them neatly and carefully, and take care 
where you put them. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 



52^ In your Apparel be ' Modest and en- 
deavour to accomodate Nature, rather than to 
• Accomodate na- procure Admiration keep to the 

ture ' is a phrase * * 

from a precept in Fashion of your equals Such 

Hawkins concern- 

ing apparel as are Civil and orderly with 

respect to Times and Places 



Chapter v. 5. Choisissez tousiours des habits sem- 
blables à ceux de vos compagnons qui passent pour les 
plus honnestes & modérez, en considérant les lieux & les 
temps auec discretion : &. outre cela, faites qu'en ce 
poinct vous paroissiez souhaitter d'estre vestu le plus 
simplement & modestement de tous vos égaux, bien 
plustost que d'affecter les plus beaux vestements. 

Always choose clothes like those of your companions 
who pass for the most genteel and moderate, in discreet 
consideration of time and place : and more, make it a 
point to be the most simply and modestly dressed of all 
your equals, rather than to affect the finest raiment. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 113 

53^ Run not in the Streets, neither go too 
slowly nor with Mouth open go not Shaking y"^ 
Arms [stamping, or shuffling ; nor pull up your 
stockings in the street. Walk] not upon the 
toes, nor in a Dancing [or skipping manner, nor 
yet with measured steps. Strike not the heels 
together, nor stoop when there is no occasion] 

Chapter vi. i. Faites en sorte quand vous marchez, 
de ne pas faire des démarches précipitées, d'auoir la 
bouche ouuerte & comme béante, & de ne vous trop 
démener le corps, ou le pancher, ou laisser vos mains 
pendantes, ou remuer & secoiier les bras ; sans frapper 
trop rudement la terre, ou letter à vos pieds de part & 
d'autre. Cette sorte d'action demande encore ces con- 
ditions, que l'on ne s'arreste pas à retirer ses chausses en 
haut, dans le chemin, que l'on ne marche sur les extre- 
mitez des pieds, ny en sautillant ou s'eleuant, comme il 
se pratique en la dance, que l'on ne courbe point le 
corps, que l'on ne baisse point la teste, que l'on n'auance 
point à pas côptez, que l'on ne se choque point les 
talons l'un contre l'autre en entrant dans l'Eglise, que 
l'on ne reste point teste nuë a la sortie. Si la deuotion 
n'y oblige, comme lors qu'il est question d'accompagner 
le Tres-sainct Sacrement. 

In walking guard against hurried steps, or having 
your mouth open and gaping ; and do not move your 



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114 RULES OF CIVILITY, 

body too much, or stoop, or let your bands hang down, 
or move and shake your arms; walk without striking 
the ground too bard or throwing your feet this way and 
that. That sort of action also demands these conditions, 
—not to stop to pull up one's stockings in the street, not 
to walk on the toes, or in a skipping rising as in dancing ; 
do not stoop, nor bend the head ; do not advance with 
measured steps; do not strike the heels against each 
other on entering church, nor leave it bareheaded, unless 
devotion requires it, as in accompanying the Holy Sacra- 
ment. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, 115 

54* Play not the Peacock, looking every- 
where about you, to See if you be well Deck't, 
if your Shoes fit well if your Stockings Sit 
neatly, and Cloths handsomely. 

Chapter vi. 2. Ne vous amusez pas à vous quarer 
comme vn Paon, & regarder superbement autour de 
vous, si vous estes bien mis, & bien chaussé, si vos hauts- 
, déchausses & vos autres habits vous sont bienfaits. Ne 
sortez point de vostre châbre, portant vostre plume à 
vostre bouche, ou sur vostre aureille. Ne vous amusez 
pas à mettre des fleurs à vos aureilles, à vostre bonnet, 
ou à vostre chappeau. Ne tenez point vostre mouchoir 
à la main, ou pendu à vostre bouche, ny à vostre ceinture, 
ny sous vostre aiselle, ny sur vostre espaule, ou caché 
sous vostre robbe. Mettez-le en lieu d'où il ne puisse 
être veu, & il puisse estre toutesfois cômodément tiré, 
dez qu'il en sera besoin. Ne le présentez iamais à per- 
sonne, s'il n'est tout blanc, ou presque pas déployé. 

Do not delight in strutting like a peacock, or look 
proudly around to see if you are well decked, if your 
breeches and other clothes fit well. Do not leave your 
room carrying your pen in your mouth or behind your 
ear. Do not indulge yourself by putting flowers in your 
ears, cap, or hat. Do not hold your pocket-handkerchief 
in your hand, hanging from your mouth, at your girdle, 



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Ii6 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

under your armpit, on your shoulder, or stuffed under 
your coat. Put it in some place where it cannot be 
seen, but from whence you may easily draw it when 
you want it. Never offer it to anybody unless it be 
quite clean, or hardly unfolded. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 117 



55*^ Eat not in the Streets, nor in y^ House, 
out of Season. 

Chapter vi. 3. Ne marchez jamais par les chemins, en 
mangeant, soit seul ou en compagnie. & particulière- 
ment parmy la foule de la ville. Ne vous mettez pas 
mesme à manger, en la maison hors de temps du repas, 
& du moins abstenez vous en, quand il s'y rencontrera 
quelqu'vn. 

Never walk on the roads eating, whether alone or in 
company, especially amid the crowd in a town. Do not 
set to eating even in the house out of meal-times ; at 
least abstain from it in the presence of others. 



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ii8 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



56*^ Associate yourself with Men of good 
Quality if you Esteem your own Reputation ; 
for Ws better to be alone than in bad Company. 

Chapter vi. 5. Et si vous voulez passer pour honneste, 
accostez vous tousiours des Gents-de-bien, si vous n'en 
trouuez pas la commodité, ou par ce que vous n'en con- 
noissez point, ou pour quelqu' autre raison, il vaut tou- 
siours mieux que vous alliez seul, qu'en mauuaise com- 
pagnie. 

If you wish to pass as genteel, always go with well- 
bred people ; if you cannot get the chance, — from not 
knowing any, or any other reason, — it is always better 
to go alone than in bad company. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 119 

57*^ In walking up and Down in a House, 
only with One in Company if he be Greater 
than yourself, at the first give him the Right 
hand and Stop not till he does and be not the 
first that turns, and when you do turn let it be 
with your face towards him, it he be a Man of 
Great Quality, walk not with him Cheek by Jowl 
but Somewhat behind him ; but yet in such a 
Manner that he may easily Speak to you. 

Chapter vi. 7. Si vous promenez auec vne personne 

seule dans la maison, & qu'il soit d'vne conditio qui luy 

fasse mériter quelque deference, dés 

The repetition of 
le premier pas de la promenade, ne the feminine 'Elle" 

j - j 1 j •. refers to 'vne per- 

manquez pas de luy donner la droite : ^^„„^ . .„ ^j,^ ^^^ 
Ne cessez point de marcher, s'il ne •'"«• although the 

masculine (' qu'il' 

vient à s'arrester: Ne changez pas and 's'U') has twice 
le premier le diuertissement, & en f°"°^t.'* '' '^^T 

'^ is no allusion to the 

VOUS tournant, ne luy montrez iamais female sex in the 
. , , ... French Maxims. 

les épaules ; mais tousiours le visage. 
Si elle est dans vne charge releuée, gardez bien de 
marcher d'vn pas tout à fait égal ; mais suiuez tant soit 
peu derrière, auec tant de iustesse pourtant & de mode- 
ratiô, qu'elle vous puisse bien parler sans s'incômoder. 
Si elle vous est éga'e allez d'un mesme pas tout le long 
de la promenade, & ne tournez pas tovsiours le premier, 
à chaque bout de champ ; ne faites pas si souuent des 



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I20 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

pauses au milieu du chemin sans suiet. Car cette liberté 
ressent sa grandeur & donne du mécontentement. Celuy 
qui tient le milieu dans vne compagnie dont il est enui- 
ronné, si ceux qui la composent, sont égaux, ou presque 
égaux, il se doit tourner vne fois à droit dans la prome- 
nade, & s'ils se rencontrent notablement inégaux, il se 
doit plus souuent tourner vers le plus qualifié. Enfin 
que ceux qui l'enuironnent, viennent tousiours à se 
détourner de son coslé & en mesme temps que luy, 
non point deuant ny après; puis qu'il est comme le 
but de la promenade. 

If you are walking about the house alone with a per- 
son whose rank demands some deference, at the very 
first step be sure and give him the right hand : Do not 
stop walking if he does not wish to stop : Be not the 
first to change the diversion, and, in turning, never 
show him your shoulder but always your face. If he 
has a high public appointment take care not to walk 
quite side by side with him but a very little behind him 
with so much exactness and moderation that he may 
be able to speak to you without inconvenience. If he 
is your equal in rank, keep step with him during the 
whole walk, and do not always turn first at every end 
of the walk. Do not stop often midway without reason, 
such liberty touches his dignity and gives dissatisfaction. 
He who is the centre of the company by whom he is sur- 
rounded ought, if those of whom it consists are equal or 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 121 

nearly equal in rank, always to turn to the right once 
during the walk, and if they are manifestly unequal, he 
should oftenest turn towards the most distinguished. 
Lastly those who are about him should always turn 
round towards his side and at the same time as he, 
neither before nor after, as he is, so to say, the object 
of the walk. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 



58*^ Let your Conversation be without 
Malice or Envy, for 'tis a Sign of a Tractable 
and Commendable Nature : & in all Causes of 
Passion admit Reason to Govern 

Hawkins v. 9. Let thy conversation be without 
malice or envye, for that is a signe of a tractable and 
commendable nature. And in all causes of passion, 
admit reason for thy governesse. So shall thy Repu- 
tation be either altogether inviolable, or at the least 
not stayned with common Tinctures. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 123 



59* Never express anything unbecoming, 
nor Act ag'*? y? Rules Moral before your in- 
férieurs 

Hawkins v. 10. Never expresse any thing unbeseem- 
ing, nor act against the Rules morall, waiker : 'A man 
before thy inferiours, For in these ?»<>"« not ^vertise 

' hmuelf with his 

things, thy own guilt will multiply inferiors, nor make 

his Servants privy 

Crimes by example, and as it were, to his infirmities 
confirme lU by authority. *"** feihires.' 



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124 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



6o*^ Be not immodest in urging your Friends 
to Discover a Secret. 

Hawkins v. ii. Be not immodest in urging thy 
friend to discover his secrets; lest an accidental! dis- 
covery of them work a breach in your amitye. 



\ 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 125 

61^* Utter not base and frivilous things 
amongst grave and Leam'd Men nor very 
Difficult Questions or Subjects, among the 
Ignorant or things hard to be Hawkins uses the 

° ° word 'Farce' in- 

believed, Stuff not your Dis- stead of «stuff.' 
course with Sentences amongst your Betters 
nor Equals 

Chapter vii. i. Dans la conuersation de Gents doctes 
& habiles ne débitez pas des bagatelles, & n'auancez pas 
des discours trop releuez parmy les ignorants, qu'ils ne 
soient point capables d'entendre, ou qu'ils ne puissent 
pas croire fort facilement. Ne débutez pas toujours par 
des prouerbes, particulièrement parmy vos égaux, & 
bien moins auec vos supérieurs. Ne parlez point de 
choses à côtretêps, ou qui puissent choquer les esprits 
de vos Auditeurs. Parmy les banquets, & dans les iours 
de resioiiissance ne mettez point sur le tapis de tristes 
nouuelles, point de récits de rudes calamitez, point 
d'ordures, point de deshônestetez, point d'afflictions. 
Bien au côtraire si tels discours se trouuent entamez par 
quelqu autre, faites vostre possible pour en détourner 
adroictement la suitte. Ne contez iamais vos songes 
qu'à de vos confidents, & encore que ce soit pour profiter 
de leur interpretation ; vous gardant bien d'y donner 
aucune croyance. 



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126 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

When talking with learned and clever men, do not 
introduce trifles, and do not bring forward too advanced 
conversation before ignorant people which they cannot 
understand nor easily believe. Do not always begin with 
proverbs, especially among your equals, and still less 
with your superiors. Do not speak of things out of 
place, or of such as may shock your hearers. At banquets 
and on days of rejoicing do not bring up sorrowful news 
or accounts of sad calamities, no filth, nothing improper, 
nothing afflicting. On the contrary, if such conversation 
Walker says— 'nor js begun by any one else, do your 

tell your dreams 

when perhaps your best adroitly to tum the subject, 
best waking actions js^g^gj j^j^jg y^^j. dreams except to 

are not worth the 

reciting.' your Confidants, and then only to 

profit by their interpretation, taking care not to put the 
least belief in it. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 127 



62^ Speak not of doleful Things in a Time 
of Mirth or at the Table ; Speak not of Melan- 
choly Things as Death and Wounds, and if 
others Mention them Change if you can the 
Discourse tell not your Dreams, but to your 
intimate Friend 

( TAe substance of Rule 62 is in the French Maxim 
quoted under the previous Rule (61), beginning with the 
third sentence t * Ne par let pointy etc,') 



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128 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



63*? A Man ought not to value himself of his 
Atchievements or rare Qualities, his Riches, 
Titjles Virtue or Kindred[; but he need not 
speak meanly of himself.] 

Chapter vii. 2, Vne personne bien nourrie ne s'amuse 
iamais à faire parade de ses belles actions, de son esprit, 
de sa vertu, & de ses autres bonnes & loiiables qualitez, 
au côtraire il ne faut iamais s'entretenir auec les autres 
de sa haute naissance, ou de la Noblesse de ses parents, 
de ses richesses, ny de ses grandeurs, si l'on n'y est con- 
trainct. Il ne faut pas aussi se raualler entièrement. 

A well-bred person never makes parade of his good 
actions, wit, virtue, and other good and praiseworthy 
qualities ; on the contrar)', one ought never to speak with 
another about his high birth, the nobility of his parents, 
his wealth or dignities, unless obliged to do so. But 
one need not efiBace himself altogether. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 129 



64*^ Break not a Jest where none take 
pleasure in mirth Laugh not aloud, nor at all 
without Occasion, deride no man's Misfortune, 
tho' there seem to be Some cause 

Chapter vii. 3. II ne faut pas se mettre sur la raillerie, 
quad il n'est point temps de solastrer. Gardez-vous bien 
d'éclater en risées, d'y passer les bornes de la bien- 
séance, & de le faire sans un suiet raisonnable, pour 
suiure l'inclinatiô qui vous porte à rire. Ne prenez 
iamais suiet de rire du malheur d'autruy, quoy qu'il 
semble en quelque façon digne de risée. 

Jesting must be avoided when it is out of season. 
Beware of bursting out into laughter, beyond the 
limits of decorum, and of doing so without reasonable 
cause, merely from an inclination to laugh. Never 
laugh at the misfortunes of others, although they seem 
in some sort laughable. 



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I30 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



65* Speak not injurious Words neither in 
Jest nor Earnest Scoff at none although they 
give Occasion 

Chapter vii. 4. Ne donnez iamais de sobriquet, soit 
dans le jeu, ou bien hors du jeu. Gardez vous bien de 
picquer qui que ce puisse estre ; ne vous mocquez 
d'aucune personne, particulièrement d'entre celles qui 
sont qualifiées, quoy qu'auec occasion. 

Never give nicknames, whether in fun or not. Take 
care not to hurt anybody, whoever it may be ; do not 
mock any one, especially persons of distinction, although 
there be occasion. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, 131 



66*^ Be not forward but friendly and Courte- 
ous ; the first to Salute hear and answer & be 
not Pensive when it's a time to converse. 

Chapter vii. 5. Ne vous rendez point morne & de 
fâcheux abord ; mais affable & prompt à rendre de bons 
offices, & soyez toujours le premier à saluer. Entendez 
bien ce que l'on vous dit & y respondez ; Ne vous retirez 
point à l'écart, quand le deuoir vous engage à la con- 
uersation. 

Do not be glum and unfriendly of approach ; but 
af&ble, prompt in rendering kind offices, and always the 
first to salute. Listen carefully to what is said and 
respond ; do not keep aloof when duty requires you to 
take a share in the conversation. 



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132 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



67^ Detract not from others neither be ex- 
cessive in Commending. 

Chapter vii. 6. Gardez vous bien de médire d'aucune 
personne ou de vous entretenir des afifaires d'autruy. Et 
mesme souuenez vous de garder la moderation dans vos 
louanges. 

Take care not to speak ill of any one or to gossip of 

other people's af&irs. At the same 
Walker says: 'Carry *^ '^ 

even between aduU- time do not forget moderation in your 

tion and soureness.' 

praises. 

{Dr, Toner thinks the last word of Rule 67 is written 
* Commanding,' Sparks has ' commending.*) 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, 133 



68*^ Go not thither, where you know not, 
whether you .Shall be Welcome or not. Give 
not Advice whth being Ask'd & when desired 
do it briefly 

Chapter vii. 7. Ne vous ingérez pas dans les entre- 
tiens & les consultations, où vous ne serez pas asseuré 
d'estre le bien venu. Ne dites iamais vostre aduis des 
affaires que l'on ne vous l'ait demandé, si toutesfois 
vous n'estes le premier en authorité, & que ce ne soit 
point à contre-temps, ou sans apparence de quelque 
auantage. Quand vous en estes prié, abrégez vostre 
discours, & prenez de bonne heure le noeud de l'affaire 
à demesler. 

Do not force yourself into interviews or consultations 
at which you are not sure of being welcome. Never 
give your advice on matters when it has not been asked, 
unless you happen to be the highest in authority ; and 
do not let it be done out of place or without prospect 
of any benefit. When your opinion is requested, be 
brief, and reach quickly the knot of the matter under 
discussion. 



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134 RULES OF CIVILITY, 



69'^ If two contend together take not the 
part of either unconstrained, and be not obsti- 
nate in your Opinion, in Things indiferent be 
of the Major side. 

Chapter vii. 8. Si deux personnes ont quelque chose 
à decider ensemble, ne prenez le party ny de l'vn, ny 
de l'autre, si quelque grade raison ne vous y oblige. 
Ne soustenez pas vos sentiments auec vne trop grande 
obstination. Dans les matières où les opiniôs sont libres, 
prenez tousiours le party qui est le plus appuyé. 

If two persons have anything to decide between them- 
waiker says: 'Thrust selves, do not take the part of either 
not your self to be unless some pressing reason obliges 

Moderator or Um- 
pire in Controversies, you to do SO. Do not maintain your 
tiu required* ^^^^ ^^ obstinately. In matters in 

which opinions are free, always take the side which has 
the most support. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 135 



70*? Reprehend not the imperfections of 
others for that belongs to Parents Masters 
and Superiors. 

Chapter vii. 9. Ne faites pas le censeur & le juge des 
fautes d'autruy, car cela n'appartient qu'aux maistres, 
aux pères, & à ceux qui ont quelque supériorité. Il vous 
est toutesfois permis de faire paroistre l'auersion que 
vous en côceuez. Et vous pouuez bien quelquesfois 
doner aduis avantageux au défaillants. 

Do not be the censor and judge of other peoples' 
faults, for that only belongs to masters, fathers, and 
those who have some superiority. But it is nevertheless 
allowable for you to show an aversion you have con- 
ceived. And at times you may give advantageous ad 
vice to those who are in the wrong. 



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136 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



71?' Gaze not at the marks or blemishes of 
Others and ask not how they came. What 
you may Speak in Secret to your Friend de- 
liver not before others 

Chapter vii. 10. Ne vous amusez pas à considérer 
curieusement les défauts ou les taches, quoy que natu- 
relles, particulièrement si elles se rencontrent au visage, 
& ne vous enquerez pas d'où elles ont procédé. Ce que 
vous diriez bien volontiers en l'oreille à vn amy, doit 
estre conserué sous la clef du silëce, lors que vous vous 
trouuez en cempagnie 

ake no pleasure in examining curiously defects or 
blemishes, although natural, especially if they be in 
the face, nor enquire what they proceed from. What 
you would readily say in the ear of a friend ought to 
be preserved under the key of silence when you are in 
society. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, 137 

72^ Speak not in an unknown Tongue in 
Company but in your own Language and that 
as those of Quality do and not as y? Vulgar ; 
Sublime matters treat Seriously. 



Chapter vii. 11. Ne vous semez iamais en vos dis- 
cours & n'employez vne langue qui ne vous est pas bien 
cognuë & familière, si ce n'est en vne occasiô bien pres- 
sante, pour donner plus clair^-ment à connoistre vostre 
pensée. Parlez tousiours en la vostre maternelle & 
natale, non pas grossièrement, comme la lie du peuple, 
ou les pauures chambrières ; mais comme les plus déli- 
cats & les plus gros Bourgeois, auec erudition & auec 
elegance. Et prenez à tâche d'obseruer en vos discours 
les règles de l'honnesteté & de la modestie; & vous 
gardez bien de ces contes vn peu trop libres; ne les 
faites ny en l'oreille d'vn autre, ny ne les poussez par 
jeu auec profusiO. N'employez point de termes bas & 
raualez ou populaires en des matières hautes & reluées. 

conversation never use a language with which 
you are not thoroughly acquainted and familiar, unless 
in some very urgent case to render your idea more 
clearly. Always speak in your native and mother 
tongue, not coarsely like the dregs of the people, or 
poor chamber-maids, but like the most refined and 
well-to-do citizens, with erudition and elegance. And 



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138 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

in your discourse take care to observe the rules of 
decorum and modesty, and be sure to avoid rather 
risky tales; do not whisper such to another, and do 
not indulge them too frequently in sport. Do not use 
low, base or vulgar expressions when treating of serious 
and sublime subjects. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 139 



73^ Think before you Speak pronounce not 
imperfectiy nor bring out your Words too hastily 
but orderly and Distinctly 

Chapter vii. 12, Ne vous mettez point à discourir, que 
vous ne vous y soyez bien préparé, & que vous n'ayez 
bien estudié vostre suiet Dans l'entretien ordinaire, 
n'allez point chercher de periphrases, point de subtilitez, 
ny de figures. Ne confondez point vos paroles dans les 
coutumes d'vne langue trop brusque & bégayante ; mais 
aussi, ne parlez pas si lentement, & à tant de reprises, 
que vous donniez de l'ennuy. 

Do not begin speaking unless you are quite prepared, 
and have well studied your subject. In ordinary con- 
versation do not seek periphrases, subtleties, or figures 
of speech. Do not let your words become confused by 
too abrupt or hesitating a delivery, and do not let your 
speech be so slow and broken as to become tedious. 



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I40 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

74*^ When Another Speaks be attentive your 
Self and disturb not the Audience if any hesi- 
Hawkins: «If any tate in his Words help him 
^^. hlîï hl^ ï^ot nor Prompt him without 
'^' desired, Interrupt him not, nor 

Answer him till his Speech be ended 



Chapter vii. 13. Quand quelque autre parle, prenez 
garde de donner suiet à ses Auditeurs de s'en détourner ; 
& pour vous, écoutez-le fauorablement & auec attention, 
sans destoumer les yeux d'vn autre costé, ou vous arrester 
à quelqu'autre pensée. Si quelqu'vn a de la peine à 
tirer ses mots comme par force, ne vous amusez pas à 
luy en suggérer, pour faire paroistre quelque désir d'aider 
celuy qui parle, si'l ne vient à vous en prier, ou que le 
tout se passe dâs le particulier, & qu'encore cette persône 
soit de vos plus intimes & familiers amis ; & après tout 
ne l'interrompez point, & ne luy répliquez en aucune 
manière, iusques à ce que luy-mesme ait acheué. 

When another person is speaking, beware of drawing 
off the attention of his hearers ; and as for yourself, listen 
to him favourably and attentively, without turning your 
eyes aside or directing your thoughts elsewhere. If any 
one finds difficulty in expressing him- 
self, do not amuse yourself by sug- 



The later French 
book has: 'It is 
not Civfl when a 

Person of Quality gesting words to him, SO as to show 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 141 

hesitates or stops a desire to assist the speaker, unless 

in his discourse for 

you to strike in, he SO requests, or you are quite in 

memory.' of your most intimate and familiar 

friends. Above all, do not interrupt him, and in nowise 
reply to him until he has finished. 



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142 RULES OF CIVILITY, 

75*^ In the midst of Discourse ask [not 
what it is about], but if you Perceive any Stop 
because of [your arrival, rather request the 
speaker] to Proceed : If a Person of Quality 
comes in while your Conversing its handsome 
to Repeat what was said before 

Chapter vii. 14. Quand vous arriuez sur la moitié de 
quelque discours, ne vous enquerez pas du suiet de 
l'entretien; car cela est trop hardy & ressent Thôme 
d'authorité. Suppliez plûtost honnestement & courtoise- 
ment que l'on le poursuiue, si vous voyez qu'il se soit in- 
terrôpu à vostre arriuée, parquel que sorte de deference. 
Au contraire s'il suruient quelqu'vn, lors que vous par- 
lerez, & particulièrement si c'est vne personne qualifiée & 
de mérite, il est de la bien-seance de faire vne petite 
recapitulation de ce qui a esté auancé, & de poursuiure 
la deduction de tout le reste de la matière. 

If you arrive in the middle of any discussion, do not 
ask what it is about ; for that is too bold and savours of 
one in authority. Rather ask, genteelly and courteously, 
that it may be continued, if you see that the speaker 
has paused on your arrival, out of civility. On the 
other hand, if any one comes whilst you are speaking, 
Hawkins : ' It is ^nd particularly if it be a person of 

seemely to make a 

utUe Epilogue and quality or of merit, it is in accordance 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 143 

briefe coUection of ^jth good manners to give a slight 

what thou deliver* 

edst' recapitulation of what has been ad- 

vanced, and then carry out the deduction of all the rest 
of the matter. 



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144 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



76*^ While you are talking, Point not with 
your Finger at him of Whom you Discourse 
nor Approach too near him to whom you talk 
especially to his face 

Chapter vl 17. Ne môtrez point au doigt la personne 
dont vous parlez, & ne vous approchez point trop prés 
de celuy que vous entretenez, non plus que de son vis- 
age, à qui il faut toujours porter quelque reuerence. 

Do not point your finger at the person of whom you 
are speaking, and do not go too near any one with 
whom you are conversing, especially not near his face, 
which should always be held in some reverence. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 145 



77^ Treat with men at fit Times about Busi- 
ness & Whisper not in the Company of Others 

Chapter vi. 18. Si vous auez vne affaire particulière 
à communiquer a I'vne de deux personnes ou de plu- 
sieurs qui s'entretiennent ensemble, expédiez en trois 
mots, & ne luy dites pas en l'oreille ce que vous auez à 
proposer ; mais si la chose est secrette, tirez-la tant soit 
peu à l'écart, s'il vous est possible, & que rien ne vous 
en empesche ; parlez luy en la langue que les assistants 
entendent. 

If you have any particular matter to communicate 
to one of two persons or of several, who are talking 
together, finish it off in three words, and do not whisper 
in his ear what you have to say ; if the matter be secret, 
take him aside a little, if possible, and nothing prevents ; 
speak to him in the language which those present under- 
stand. 



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146 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



78* Make no Comparisons and if any 01 
the Company be Commended for any brave 
act of Virtue, commend not another for the 
Same 

Chapter vii. 21. Abstenez vous de faire des com- 
paraisons des personnes l'vne auec l'autre ; Et partant 
si l'on donne des louanges à quelqu'vn pour vne bône 
action, ou pour sa vertu, gardez vous bien de louer la 
mesme vertu en quelque autre. Car toute comparaison 
se trouue odieuse. 

Abstain from drawing comparisons between different 
persons ; and if any one is praised for a good action, or 
for his virtue, do not praise another for the same. For 
all comparisons are odious. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, 



147 



79*^ Be not apt to relate News if you know 
not the truth thereof. In Discoursing of things 
you Have heard Name not your Author always 
A Secret Discover not 



Chapter vii. 22. Ne faites pas aisément dessein de 
redire aux autres les nouuelles & les rapports qui aurôt 
couru touchant les rencontres des affaires, si vous n'auez 
vn garant de leur vérité. Et ne vous amusez pas en 
racontant ces vau-de-villes, d'en citer l'Autheur, que 
vous ne soyez bien asseuré qu'il ne le trouuera pas 
mauuais. Gardez tousiours bien le secret qui vous a 
esté confié & ne le ditez à personne, de crainte qu'il ne 
soit diuulgué. 

Be not apt to relate rumours of events, if you know 
not their truth. And in repeating The later French 
such things do not mention your ^^^ ^^V '^'^' 

» •' cover not the secret 

authority, unless you are sure he of a «end. it ar- 
will like it. Always keep the secret ^^Jndi^ ^ 
confided to you; tell it to no one, 
lest it be divulged. 



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148 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



8o*^ Be not Tedious in Discourse or in 
reading unless you find the Company pleased 
therewith 

Chapter vii. 23. Si vous racontez, ou lisez, ou entre- 
prenez d'en prouuer par raisonnements quoy que ce soit, 
tranchez-le-court, & particulieremët quad le suiet en est 
peu importât, ou quand vous recOnoissez les dégousts 
qu'en ont les Auditeurs. 

If you are relating or reading anything, or arguing 
any point, be brief, — particularly when the subject is of 
small importance, or if you detect weariness in the 
listeners. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 149 



81*.* Be not Curious to Know the Affairs of 
Others neither approach to those that Speak 
in Private 

Chapter vii. 24. Ne témoignez pas de curiosité dans 
les affaires d'autruy, & ne vous approchez de là- où l'on 
parle en secret. 

Do not show any curiosity about other people's affairs, 
and do not go near the place where persons are talking 
in private. 



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ISO RULES OF CIVILITY. 



82*? Undertake not what you cannot Perform 
but be Carefull to keep your Promise 

Chapter vii. 25. Ne vous chargez point d'vne chose 
dont vous ne vous pouuez acquiter; maintenez ce que 
vous auez promis. 

Do not undertake anything that you cannot perform ; 
keep your promise. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY 151 



83I When you deliver a matter do it without 
Passion & with Discretion, however mean y® 
Person be you do it too 

Chapter vii. 27. Quand vous faites vne ambassade, vn 
rapport, ou donnez I'ouuerture de quelque afifaire, tas- 
chez de le faire sans passion & auec discretion, soit que 
vous ayez à traitter auec personnes de peu, ou personnes 
de qualité. 

When you fulfil a mission, deliver a report, or under- 
take the opening of any matter, try to do it dispassion- 
ately and discreetly, whether those with whom you have 
to treat be of humble or high position. 



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152 RULES OF CIVILITY 



84*^ When your Supérieurs talk to any Body 
hearken not neither Speak nor Laugh 

Chapter vii. 27. Quand ceux qui ont sur vous com- 
mandement, parlent à quelqu'vn, gardez vous bien de 
parler, de rire, ou de les escouter. 

When your Superiors talk to any one, do not speak, 
laugh, or listen. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 153 



85*^ In Company of these of Higher Quality 
than yourself Speak not till you are ask'd a 
Question then Stand upright put of your Hat & 
Answer in few words 

Chapter vii. 30. Estant auec de plus grands que vous, 
principalement s'ils ont du pouuoir sur vous, ne parlez 
pas deuant que d'estre interrogé, & alors leuez-vous 
debout, découurez-vous, & répondez en peu de mots, si 
toutesfois l'on ne vous donne congé de vous asseoir, ou 
de vous tenir couuert. 

Being with persons of higher position than yourself, 
and especially if they have authority over you, do not 
speak until you are interrogated ; then rise, remove your 
hat, and answer in few words, — unless indeed you are 
invited to remain seated, or to keep your hat on. 



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154 RULES OF CIVILITY, 



86*1» In Disputes, be not so Desirous to Over- 
come as not to give Liberty to each one to 
deliver his Opinion and Submit to y^ Judgment 
of y5 Major Part especially if they are Judges of 
the Dispute. 

Chapter vii. 31. Dans les disputes qui arriuent, princi- 
palement en conuersation, ne soyez pas si désireux de 
gagner, que vous ne laissiez dire a chacun son aduis, & 
soit que vous ayez tort, ou raison, vous deuez acquiescer 
au jugement du plus g^nd nombre, ou mesme des plus 
fascheux, & beaucoup plus de ceux de qui vous dé- 
pendez, ou qui sont juges de la dispute. 

In disputes that arise, especially in conversation, be 
not so desirous to overcome as not to leave each one 
liberty to deliver his opinion ; and whether you be wrong 
or right you should acquiesce in the judgment of the 
majority, or even of the most persistent, all the more 
if they are your masters or patrons, or judges of the 
discussion. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 155 

87*^ [Let your bearing be such] as becomes 
a Man Grave Settied and attentive [to what 
is said, without being too serious. Contra]dict 
not at every turn what others Say 

Chapter vii. 35. Vostre maintien soit d'homme 
modérément graue, posé, & attentif a ce qui se dit, afin 
de n'auoir pas à dire à tout propos: Comment ditez- 
vous f comment se passe cela f je ne vous ay pas entendu^ 
& d'autres semblables niaiseries. 

33. Ne contredictes pas a tout bout de champ, à ce 
que disent les autres, en contestant & disant : Il n'est pas 
ainsi, la chose est comme je la dy ; mais rapportez-vous 
en à l'opinion des autres principalement dans les choses 
qui sont de peu de consequence. 

35. Let your bearing be that of a moderately grave, 
serious man, and attentive to what is said so as to avoid 
having to say every moment : ' How did that happen f 
I did not understand you,' — and other similar foolish 
remarks. 

33. Do not continually contradict what others say, by 
disputing and saying : ' That is not the case, it is as I 
say ; ' but defer to the opinion of others, especially in 
matters of small consequence. 



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156 RULES OF CIVILITY 

88* Be not tedious in Discourse, make not 
many Digressions, nor repeat often the Same 
manner of Discourse 

Chapter vii. 39. N'employez pas vn an à vostre preface, 
& en certaines longues excuses ou ceremonies, en disant. 
Monsieur: excusex-moyi si ù ne sçay pas si bien dire, 
&c., toutesfois pour vous obeyr, &c, & autres semblables 
ennuyeuses and sottes trainees de paroles ; mais entrez 
promptement en matière tant que faire se pourra auec 
vne hardiesse modérée : Et puis poursuiuez, sans vous 
troubler, iusques à la fin. Ne soyez pas long; sans 
beaucoup de digressions, ne rdfterez pas souuent vne 
mesme façon de dire. 

Do not take a year in your preface, or in certain long 
apologies or ceremonies, such as : • Pardon me Sir if 
I do not know haio to express myself sufficiently well* 
&c.; nevertheless in order to obey you,* &c., and other 
similarly tedious and stupid circumlocutions ; but enter 
promptly on the subject, as far as possible, with moderate 
boldness; then continue to the end without hesitation. 
Do not be prolix; avoid digressions; do not often 
reiterate the same expression. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 157 



89*^ Speak not Evil of the absent for it is 
unjust 

Hawkins vi. 4a Speak not evill of one absent, for 
it is unjust to detract from the worth of any, or besmeare 
a good name by condemning, where the party is not 
present, to clear bimselfe, or undergo a rationall con- 
viction. 



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158 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



90*^ Being Set at meat Scratch not neither 
Spit Cough or blow your Nose except there's a 
Necessity for it 

Chapter viii. a. Estant assis à table, ne vous grattez 
point, & vous gardez tant que vous pourrez, de cracher, 
de tousser, de vous moucher : que s'il y a nécessité, faites- 
le adroitement, sans beaucoup de bruit, en tournant le 
visage de costé. 

Being seated at the table, do not scratch yourself, and 
if you can help it, do not spit, cough, or blow your nose ; 
should either be necessary do it adroitly, with least noise, 
turning the face aside. 

(/» the Washington MS. there is a notable omission 
of all that is said in the French and English books con- 
cerning grace before meat. At Washington's table grace 
was never said. ) 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 159 

91^ Make no Shew of taking great Delight 
in your Victuals, Feed not with Greediness ; cut 
your Bread with a Knife, lean not on the Table 
neither find fault with what you Eat 

Chapter viii. 3. Ne prenez pas vostre repas en gour- 
mand. 

4. Ne rompez point le pain auec les mains, mais auec 
le Cousteau, si ce n'estoit vn pain fort petil & tout frais, 
& que tous les autres fissent de mesme, ou la pluspart. 

5. Ne vous iettez pas sur table, à bras estendus iusques 
aux coudes, & ne vous accostez pas indécemment les 
épaules ou les bras sur vostre siege. 

8. Ne monstrez nullement d'avoir pris plaisir à la 
viande, ou au vin ; mais si celuy que vous traittez, vous 
en demande vostre goust, vous pourrez luy respondre 
avec modestie & prudence : beaucoup moins faut il 
blasmer les viandes, ou en demander d'autres, ny 
dauantage. 

3. Eat not like a glutton. (4.) Do not break the bread 
with your hands, but with a knife ; unless, indeed, it is 
a small and quite fresh roll, and where the others pre- 
sent, or most of them, use their hands. (5.) Do not 
throw yourself on the table, as far as the elbows, nor 
unbecomingly rest shoulders or arms on your chair. 
(8.) Do not make a show of taking delight in your food. 



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i6o RULES OF CIVILITY. 

or in the wine ; but if your host inquires your preference 
you should answer with modesty and tact : whatever 
you do, do not complain of the dishes, ask for others, 
or anything of that sort 

{Ai Washington's table it was a custom to in^te each 
guest to call for the wine he pre/erred. ) 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, i6i 



Knife Greasy. 

Chapter viii. g. Prenant du sel, gardez que le Cous- 
teau ne soit gras : quand il le faut nettoyer, ou la four- 
chette on le peut faire honnestement auec vn peu de 
pain, ou comme il se pratique en certains lieux, auec la 
serviette, mais iamais sur le pain entier. 

In taking salt be careful that the knife is not greasy : 
when necessary your knife or fork may with propriety 
be cleaned on a piece of bread,— or, as is done in some 
places, with the napkin, — ^but it must never be wiped 
on the whole loaf. 



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i62 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

93^ Entertaining any one at table it is 
decent to present him wî meat, Undertake not 
to help others undesired by y« Master 

Chapter viii. lo. Traittant quelqu'vn, il est de la 
bien-seance de le seniir en table, & luy presenter des 
viandes, voire mesme de celles qui sont proches de luy. 
Que si l'on estoit invité chez autray, il est plus à propos 
d'attendre que le Maistre ou vn autre serue, que de 
prendre des viandes soy-mesme, si ce n'estoit que le 
Maistre priast les conuiez de prendre librement, ou que 
l'on fust en maison familière. L'on se doit aussi peu 
ingérer à seruir les autres hors de sa maison, où l'on 
avoir peu de pouuoir, n'étoit que le nombre des conuiez 
fust grand, & que le Maistre de la maison ne peust pas 
avoir l'œil sur tout ; Et pour lors l'on peut seruir ceux 
qui sont proches de soy. 

When entertaining any one it is polite to serve him at 
table and to present the dishes to him, even such as are 
near him. When invited by another it is more seemly 
to wait to be served by the host, or some one else, than 
to take the dishes oneself, unless the host begs the 
guests to help themselves freely, or one is at home in 
the house. One ought also not to be officious in help- 
ing others when out of one's own bouse, where one has 
but little authority, unless the guests are very numerous 
and the host cannot attend to everything ; in that case 
we may help those nearest us. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY, 163 



[9]4* If you Soak bread in the Sauce let it 
be no more than what you put in your Mouth 
at a time and blow not your broth at Table 
but Stay till Cools of it Self 

Chapter viii. 14. Si vous trempez en la saulce le 
pain ou la chair, ne les trempez pas derechef, après y 
auoir mordu, trempez-y à chaque fois vn morceau medi- 
ocre, qui se puisse manger tout d'vne bouchée. 

II. Ne soufflez point sut les viandes; mais si elles 
sont chaudes, attendez qu'elles se refroidissent : le potage 
se pourra refroidir, le remuant modestement auec la cuil- 
liere, mais il ne sied pas bien de humer son potage en 
table, il le faut prendre auec la cuilliere. 

If you dip bread or meat into the gravy, do not do 
so immediately after biting a piece off, but dip each 
time a moderately-sized morsel which can be eaten at 
one mouthful. (11.) Do not blow on the viands, but 
if they are hot, wait till they cool. Soup may be cooled 
by stirring it gently with a spoon, but it is not becom- 
ing to drink up the soup at table. It should be taken 
with a spoon. 



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i64 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

95'^ Put not your meat to your Mouth with 
your Knife in your hand neither Spit forth the 
Stones of any fruit Pye upon a Dish nor cast 
anything under the table 

Chapter viii. 17. Ne portez pas le morceau à la 
bouche, tenant le cousteau en la main, à la mode des 
villageois. 

16. Aussi ne semble-il bien séant de cracher les 
noyaux de prunes, cerises, ou autre chose semblable sur 
le plat ; mais premièrement on doit les recueiller décem- 
ment, comme il a esté dit, en la main gauche, l'appro- 
chant à la bouche, & puis les mettre sur le bord de 
l'assiette. 

15. L'on ne doit point jetter sous la table, ou par 
Maxim 15 is much terre, les os, les écorces, le vin ou 
'**°*^*'' autre chose semblable. 

Do not carry a morsel to your mouth, knife in hand, 
like the rustics. (16. ) Moreover, it does not seem well 
bred to spit x)ut the kernels of prunes, cherries, or any- 
thing of the kind, on your plate, but, as already said, 
they should be decently collected in the left hand (raised 
to the mouth), and placed on the edge of the plate. 
(15.) Bones, peel, wine, and the like, should not be 
thrown under the table. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 165 

96* Its unbecoming to Stoop much to one's 
Meat Keep your Fingers clean & when foul 
wipe them on a Comer of your Table Napkin. 

Chapter viii. 21. II est messeant de se baisser beau- 
coup sur son escuelle ou sur la viande, c'est assez de 
s'encliner vn peu lors que l'on porte le morceau trempé à 
la bouche, de crainte de se salir, & puis redresser la teste. 

25. Ne vous nettoyez pas les mains à vostre pain, 
s'il est entier ; toutesfois les ayant fort grasses, il semble 
que vous les puissiez nettoyer premièrement à vn mor- 
ceau de pain que vous ayez à manger tout à l'heure & 
puis à la seruiette, afin de ne la point tant salir : ce qui 
vous arriuera rarement, si vous sçauez vous seruir de la 
cuilliere, & de la fourchette, selon le style des plus hon- 
nestes. Beaucoup moins deuez vous lécher les doigts, 
principalement les sucçant auec grand bruit. 

It is ill-bred to stoop too close to one's porringer or 
the meat It suffices to bend a little when conveying 
a soaked morsel to one's mouth, in order to avoid soil- 
ing oneself, then straighten up again. (25.) Do not 
clean your hands on a loaf ; if very greasy you might, 
it would seem, partly clean them on a bit of bread you 
are about to eat, then on your napkin, so as not to soil 
the latter too much : this will rarely happen if you know 
how to use spoon and fork in the most approved 
manner. Much less should you lick your fingers, espe- 
cially not suck them noisily. 



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i66 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



[9]?^ Put not another bit into your Mouth 
till the former be Swallowed let not your 
Morsels be too big for the jowls 

Chapter viii. 30. Ne portez pas le morceau à la 
bouche que l'autre ne soit auallé, & que tous soient tels 
qu'ik ne fassent pas enfler les joues hors de mesure ; 
ne vous semez pas des deux mains pour vous mettre 
le morceau à la bouche, mais semez vous d'ordinaire 
de la droite. 

Carry not another morsel to the mouth till the other 
be swallowed, and let each be such as will not stretch 
the jaws beyond measure ; do not take both hands to 
raise a morsel to the mouth, but, usually, serve yourself 
with the right hand. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 



167 



98* Drink not nor talk with your mouth 
full neither Gaze about you while you are a 
Drinking 

Chapter viii. 32. Ne boiuez ayant le morceau en la 
bouche, ne demande^ point à boire, ne parlez, ne vous 
versez point à boire, & ne boiuez cependant que vostre 
voisin boit, ou celuy qui est au haut bout. 

33. En boiuant, ne regardez point çà & là. 

Do not drink with your mouth full of food ; do not 
ask anything while drinking, nor talk, The later French 

J , J ^ J • 1 book recommends 

nor turn round ; and do not dnnk ^^^^^ ^^ ^^^^ 
because your neighbour does, or the 'fixed at the bottom 

of the f^ass ' while 

head of the table. (33. ) While drink- drinking, 
ing gaze not here and there. 



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i68 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



99'^ Drink not too leisurely nor yet too 
hastily. Before and after Drinking wipe your 
Lips breath not then or Ever with too Great 
a Noise, for its uncivil 

Chapter viii. 34. Ne boiuez point trop lentement ny 
trop à la haste, ny come en maschant le vin, ny trop 
souuent ny sans eau, car c'est à faire aux yvrognes. 
Deuant & kpres que vous aurez beu, efifuyez-vous les 
lèvres, & ne respirez pas auec trop grand bruit, ny alors, 
ny iamais, car c'est vne chose bien inciuile. 

Drink neither too slowly nor too hastily, nor as if 
gulping the wine, nor too frequently, nor without water 
— as drunkards do. Wipe your lips before and after 
drinking, and do not breathe too loudly then or at any 
other time, for that is very inelegant. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. log 



icx)*? Cleanse not your teeth with the Table 
Cloth Napkin Fork or Knife but if Others do 
it let it be done w^ a Pick Tooth 

Chapter viii. 36. Ne vous nettoyez pas les dents 
auec la nappe, ou la seruiette, ny auec le doigt, la 
fourchette, ou le cousteau. Ce seroit faire pis de le 
faire auec les ongles, mais faites-le auec le curedent 
Aussi ne semble-il estre bien-seant de se les nettoyer en 
table, si ce n'estoit que les autres le fissent, & que ce 
fust la coustume des mieux ciuilisez. 

Do not clean your teeth with the tablecloth, napkin, 
finger, fork, or knife. It were still more objectionable 
to do so with the nails. Use a toothpick. It also does 
not appear well-bred to pick them at table, unless others 
do so, and where such is a custom of the more gentle- 
manly. 



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I70 RULES OF CIVILITY, 



loi!' Rince not your Mouth in the Presence 
of Others 

Chapter viii. 37. Ne vous rincez point la bouche 
auec du vin, pour le reietter en presence des autres ; 
mais sorty que vous serez de table, accoustumez vous à 
lauer les mains auec les autres. Quant à la bouche, il 
semble n'estre pas à propos de la lauer en presence des 
gens, & partant quand l'on donne à lauer, mesme en 
table, l'on doit seulement lauer les mains. 

Do not rinse your mouth with wine, to be rejected 
in the presence of others ; but, having left the table, 
accustom yourself to wash your hands with the rest. 
As to the mouth, it does not appear proper to wash it 
in company at all, and consequently when an oppor- 
tunity of washing is offered, even at the table, the 
hands only should be washed. 



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RULES OP CIVILITY. 171 

102^ It is out of use to call upon the Com- 
pany often to Eat nor need you Drink to others 
every Time you Drink 

Chapter viii. 38. C'est chose peu louable & presque 
aujourd'huy hors d'vsage, d'inuiter la compagnie à 
manger, principalement trop souuent & auec importu- 
nité, car il semble qu'on luy osté la liberté. Beaucoup 
moins deuez-vous boire à autruy toutes les fois que vous 
boiuez : que si l'on boit à vous, vous pouuez le refuser 
modestement, remerciant de bonne grace, & confessant 
de vous rendre ; ou bien essayez vn peu le vin par cour- 
toisie, principalement auec gens qui sont accoustumez 
à cela, & prennent le refus à i^iure. 

It is not commendable, and now almost out of fashion, 
to call on the company to eat, especially to invite them 
too often and urgently, for it appears to take away their 
freedom. Much less should you drink to others every 
time you drink : if one drinks to you, it is permissible to 
decline modestly, thanking him gracefully, and acknow- 
ledging your response ; or you may well sip a little wine 
for courtesy, especially with people who are accustomed 
to it, and who are offended by refusal 



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172 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



103^ In Company of your Betters be not 
[longer in eating] than they are lay not your 
Arm but ar[ise with only a touch on the edge 
of the table.] 

Chapter viii. 43. Quand les autres ont acheué de 
manger, despechez vous aussi, & ne tenez pas les brps 
sur la table, mais posez les mains seulement sur le bout. 

When the rest have finished eating, you should do 
the same quickly ; do not hold your arms on the table, 
but only place your hands on the edge of it. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 173 

104*? It belongs to y^ Chiefest in Company 
to unfold his Napkin and fall to Meat first, But 
he ought to begin in time & to Dispatch with 
Dexterity that y? Slowest may have time 
allowed him 

Chapter viii. 45. C'est à faire au plus honnorable 
de la compagnie de déplier le premier sa seniiette, & 
toucher aux viandes : & partant les autres doiuent 
attendre paisiblement sans mettre la main à chose 
aucune deuant lui. 

46. Et au contraire il doit estre soigneux de com- 
mencer en son temps, de pouruoir à tout, d'entretenir 
les conuiez, & finir le tout auec telle addresse; qu'il 
donne temps aux plus tardifs de manger à leur aise, 
s'entretenant, s'il est de besoin, à gouster légèrement 
des viandes, ou quand il est loisible de discourir à table ; 
entremesler auec le manger quelque petit discours, afin 
que les autres puissent auec loisir d'acheuer. 

It is for the most distinguished member of the com- 
pany to unfold first his napkin and touch the food, and 
the rest should wait quietly, without laying hand on 
anything before he does. (46.) On the other hand, he 
ought in due time to commence, to consider everything, 
entertaining the guests, and managing all so adroitly 



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174 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

as to give time to the more dilatory to eat at their 
leisure ; if necessary for this, slowly tasting the viands, 
or, when table-talk is permissible, introducing a little 
chat during the meal, so that the others can finish at 
their case. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 175 



105* Be not Angry at Table whatever hap- 
pens & if you have reason to be so, Shew it 
Toner has «but* jiot put on a Chearfull Counte- 

instead of ' put ' in 

this Rule. nance especially if there be 

Strangers for good Humour makes one Dish 
of Meat a Feast 



Chapter viii. 47. Ne vous fâchez iamais en table, 
quoy qu'il aduienne, ou bien si vous vous fâchez, n'ent 
faites point de semblant, principalement y ayant des 
estrangers à table. 

Never be angry at table, no matter what may happen, 
or even if you have cause for anger, Hawkins vii. 4a 'A 
do not show it. cspeciaUy if strangers ^^,^^1^ 
arc present d»»» * f»»»-' 



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176 RULES OF CIVILITY. 



io6^ Set not yourself at y? upper [end] of 
There is a Wank y« Table but if it be your Due 

In the MS. after 

upper. or that y? Master of y? house 

will have it so, Contend not least you Should 
Trouble y? company. 



Chapter viii. 48. Ne vous asséez point de vous 
mesme au haut-bout ; mais s'il vous appartient, ou si 
le maistre du logis le veut ainsi, ne faites pas tant de 
resistance pour n'y point aller, que vous fâchiez toute 
la compagnie. 

Seat not yourself voluntarily at the top ; but if the 
Walker: 'Desire place properly belongs to you, or 
^ce.**nor"^bl the master of the house so wills, 
troublesome with do not oflfer SO much resistance to 

impertinent debas- 
ing yourself by re- its acceptance as to annoy the com- 
fosing, etc pany. 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 177 



107* If others talk at Table be attentive 
but talk not with Meat in your Mouth 

Chapter viii. 49. Si on lit ou deuise en table, soyez 
attentif, & s'il faut parler, ne parlez point auec le mor- 
ceau en la bouche. 

If there be reading or chat at table, be attentive, and 
if you have to speak, do not speak with your mouth full. 



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178 RULES OF CIVILITY. 

Io8*^ When you Speak of God or his Attri- 
butes, let it be Seriously & [with words of] 
Reverence. Honour & obey your Natural 
Parents altho they be Poor 

Hawkins vii. 43. Let thy speeches be seriously 
reverent when thou speakest of God or his Attributes» 
for to jest or utter thy selfe lightly in matters divine, is 
an unhappy impiety, provoking heaven to justice, and 
urging all men to Suspect thy behefe. — vii {unnumàergd) 
Honour and obey thy natural parents although they be 
poor ; for if thy earthly Parents cannot give thee riches 
and honour, yet thy heavenly Father hath promised 
thee length of days. 

( TAere is nothing in the French Maxims correspond- 
ing to the second sentence of Rule zo8. The Maxim 
nearest to the first sentence is the gth of Chapter i. .*—"// 
se faut bien, garder de prononcer aucuns nouueaux mots, 
quand Ton parle de Dieu ou des Saincts, 6* den faire 
de sots contes, soit tout don, ou par raillerie." " Avoid 
irreverent words in speaking of God, or of the Saints, 
and of telling foolish stories about them, either in jest or 
earnest." Compare also the last sentence of Maxim vii, 
II, ante, under Rule 72.) 



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RULES OF CIVILITY. 179 



109* Let your Recreations be Manfull not 
Sinfull. 

Hawkins vii. (unnumbered). Let thy recreations be 
manful not sinful ; there is a great vanity in the baiting 
of Beasts, the Bears and Bulls lived quietly enough 
before the fall ; it was our sin that set them together 
by the ears, rejoyce not therefore to see them fight, for 
that would be to glory in thy shame. 



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i8o RULES OF CIVILITY. 



IIo*^ Labour to keep alive in your Breast 
that Little Spark of Celestial fire called Con- 
science. 

Hawkins vii. {uHnum^red). Labour to keep alive 
in thy breast, that little sparke of Celestial fire called 
Conscience, for Conscience to an evil man is a never 
dying worm, but unto a good man its a perpetual feast. 



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