HELEN KELLER
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
THE BUM? BIRD
MADAME
MAURICE MAETERL1K JK
LIBRARY
OF
SAN OIEGO
r/
THt
w
THE GIRL WHO FOUND THE BLUE BIRD
9&len teller
Jhe cHuthor ^Hnna
(Mrs. Macy)
BY
MADAME MAURICE MAETERLINCK
(GEORGETTE LEBLANC)
TRANSLATED BY
ALEXANDER TEIXEIRA DE MATTOS
HODDER AND STOUGHTON
LONDON NEW YORK TORONTO
Printed in
Copyright U.S.A., 1914, by the Pictorial Review.
All rights reserved.
PART I
npHOUGH I lived for centuries,
-- I should not forget a colour,
a shade, a line, nor any single detail
of the thousand that form the memory
of my visits to Helen Keller, the
celebrated deaf, dumb and blind
American girl.
We are always making fresh ac-
quaintances ; we look upon it as a
natural, everyday occurrence. We go
to meet an unknown person with less
emotion than we feel when visiting
Helen Keller 3
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
for the first time a country or a
cathedral; and yet it is often for us
the preface to a great event.
If we could divine the existence of
exceptional creatures and go through
the world seeking them, even as we go
from one museum to another, then
our travels would, in my opinion, be
far more interesting and of far greater
beauty.
The mystery of our meetings is
infinite, for each individual is a new
experience. We have been told his
name, his birth and his position ; and
yet we know nothing. What is his
inner life ? What are the qualities
of his mind and heart ? What
are his interests, his longings, his
4
THE BLUE BIRD
sorrows and his joys ? In a word,
what are the elements that widen
or narrow the distance between us ?
Is a word enough to make us
hope that we have bridged that
gulf? Or shall we need months
merely to perceive the other side,
shall we be years in winding round
its edges ?
We look at each other, we smile,
we go in quest of each other.
Sometimes we find each other for
an instant in the little path] of
common tastes and fondly imagine
that we are alike. But the gulf
is still there ! In vain we look
down into its depths : it consists
of a formidable past that is sealed
5
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
to us, of a character which we
shall never really know, of an
intangible soul and of a spirit
different from our own ; it consists
of a thousand things, all foreign
to ourselves, which nevertheless,
when entering into our spirit, will
take its form, even as a liquid
takes the shape of the vessel that
contains it. And this will give us
the eternal and charming illusion of
understanding and of being under-
stood.
The strong consider one another
at a distance, the restless clash
together, the weak, staggering one
towards the other, find themselves
momentarily erect again ; but very
6
THE BLUE BIRD
rarely do we know the wild,
romantic delight of blending in
perfect harmony our ideas, our
wishes and our dreams.
It was with these thoughts that
I went to Wrentham, where Helen
Keller lives, my heart wrung with
a twofold emotion, knowing that
I was going to encounter an ad-
mirable intelligence, but never hoping
to make myself understood ; certain
of finding myself hi the presence
of a perfect soul, yet imagining no
opening through which to reach it.
No doubt, our meeting would be
governed by new laws ; but what
manner of laws ?
Dear Helen, you were soon to
7
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
prove to me that, by the straight
highways of simplicity and trust,
two minds can pass beyond looks
and words and find each other.
11
shall I forget my long
motor-drive through the
mournful country-side. The wheels
sink deep into the snow, the desolate
trees lift their gaunt boughs in vain
appeal to the leaden sky. We go
through pine- woods : how eloquent is
then* sombre velvet in this cold
setting ! We pass humble villages :
the black wooden cabins remind
me of the isbas ; I might be in
Russia. But here and there appears
9
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
a cottage painted light-green, orange-
red or bright-yellow ; and then,
with the dazzling snow that frames
it, the landscape makes me think
of a Japanese print with its white
margins.
As the roads and hanks are
buried under the snow, the car
bounds along, jolting incessantly
over invisible obstacles. No one
seems alarmed and nothing stays
our rapid pace, for, in America,
people go faster than elsewhere and
think less of danger. This crisp air
is so heavily laden with electricity
that, at every moment, the touch of
one's hands creates a spark ; and it
gives an impression of life crackling
10
THE BLUE BIRD
under a glass sky. There is no mist,
no rain, no listlessness, no dreaming.
Unfettered by the past, all the forces
of the race go straight ahead.
To-day, my excursion is made under
the guidance of a charming girl ; for
you no sooner express a wish in this
country, where hospitality is a religion,
than all your friends are at your
service. I enjoy watching my com-
panion, a thorough American, for all
her French charm of manner. Her
profile is smiling and grave, her beauty
at once bold and reticent ; and her
whole person breathes a most attract-
ive air of mingled independence and
seriousness. She represents to me the
fair flower of an unfamiliar land and
11
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
an unfamiliar system of education ;
and I find myself studying her with
equal curiosity and sympathy. Yester-
day, we were at the same party,
dancing and singing late into the
night. And, now, the whiter sun has
not yet risen and we are both think-
ing with anguish, in the icy morn,
of the poor unknown sister towards
whom we are hastening.
Every one directs us on our way,
for Helen Keller is immensely popular.
When we reach Wrentham, we are
at once told where she lives :
" Go right through the village ;
it's the first house standing by itself."
Both of us are pressing our faces
to the window and we see first a
12
THE BLUE BIRD
small, one-storeyed building, with a
long inscription over the door :
" That's the library which Miss
Keller presented to the village," says
my friend.
But we are already past the cluster
of farms and villas that constitute
Wrentham ; and yonder, on a slight
eminence, appears the house which
we are seeking, a large cottage stand-
ing white in its white garden. As
the car begins to mount the slope,
the sun throws off its last morning
veil and the shadows of the trees
lengthen across the glittering snow.
My heart shrinks as I behold that
familiar picture which She has never
seen. Our car stops. The church
13
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
clock in the distance strikes ten ;
and its booming voice mingles with
the laughter of the harness - bells
dancing along the road. A dog barks
persistently in a farm hard by. Does
the snow, which deadens the sound
of wheels and footsteps, make voices
seem louder, as though they were
striking against invisible walls to
come back to us more merrily? I
feel as though I hear too clearly. . . .
I look at the house bright with
many windows, all uncurtained. Is
there not something ironical in this?
On two sides of the cottage are
white-painted wooden piazzas ; and
one of them is prolonged to form a
pergola. A few brave, belated leaves
14
THE BLUE BIRD
cling round the pillars. Why is it
all so pretty ?
A row of windows close together
form a charming verandah : here again
there are no curtains. What is the
use of all this readiness to welcome
the sweet country into her home ?
Her home ! How cruel it looks to
me in the smiling perfection of its
beauty ! How gay and lively every-
thing appears !
A few seconds ago, I was hearing
sounds with singular intensity ; and
now I am ashamed at the unnatural
distinctness with which I see the
smallest things. . . .
I have been unconsciously fol-
lowing my companion's firm step.
15
THE GIEL WHO FOUND
After crossing one of the piazzas, we
entered the hall. She sent in our
names ; and we are now waiting in
the parlour. It is a gay and hospitable
room, flooded with daylight. Flowers
everywhere, bright colours, patches of
sunlight playing on the waxed floor.
On one side, the winter landscape
fills the broad, bare windows ; on the
other, the eager flames leap in the
great fireplace : the impression is
sharply divided, like a fruit hard
and sour in one part, soft and mellow
in another.
Standing with my eyes fixed on the
pallid country, I think of Helen ; and
giddily, as, in our dreams, we run
to the brink of a precipice, I turn a
16
9Cekn 'Keller
A NEW PORTRAIT
THE BLUE BIRD
shuddering gaze towards the land-
marks of her stupendous life.
I first heard the name of Helen
Keller, some years ago, through our
friend Gdrard Harry.
" Don't leave America without see-
ing Helen Keller," he said. "What
Mark Twain observed about her has
become a classic : ' The two most in-
teresting characters of the nineteenth
century are Napoleon and Helen
Keller."'
"What has she done?"
" She is deaf, dumb and blind ; she
reads German, French, Latin and
Greek ; she has passed the most
difficult examinations at Radcliffe
College ; she has written her auto-
HtlnKllr
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
biography; and she is only twenty -
eight."
A few days later, I had read her
story and, with deep emotion, had
traversed with her the successive
stages of her deliverance. 1 Helen's
life ! A mad ascent, a superhuman
determination to come up merely with
the normal being. But, like the
swift runner, she goes beyond the goal.
I will not here repeat the details
of a biography which is now known
on both sides of the Atlantic. Be-
1 Not long after, two studies appeared on
Helen Keller : Man's Miracle, by Gerard
Harry ; and Le Cas de Miss Keller, an article
by Marie Leneru in which that admirable
writer translates extracts from Helen Keller's
essay, Sense and Sensibility.
18
THE BLUE BIRD
sides, one hesitates to insist on
heredity in this connection, for the
reason that the phenomenon which
Helen presents utterly removes her
from all idea of lineage. She is more
isolated than any living creature, first
by her inferiority and next by her
superiority, for the perfect being must
be solitary, even as the ripe fruit
separates from the tree.
I will give simply the main out-
lines of her life. Until the age of
nineteen months, Helen was similar
to other children : she owes her
physical defects to an illness. She
has therefore faintly beheld the glory
of the noontide, the glow of evening,
the abyss of night. Presently, her
19
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
detractors for not even this detail is
lacking to her fame will make use
of that fact to depreciate her merits.
" The child born blind and deaf is
a lump of matter," wrote Buchner.
And his fellow-countrymen will say :
" As Helen Keller once saw and
heard, all that she now does is to
remember."
Certainly our heroine has seen the
world and may have retained the
image of it ; but her consciousness,
which developed long afterwards, had
to blossom in its darkness ; and it
was into the intellect that its roots
delved to find their nourishment.
Besides, what is the value of a
memory, other than its own value ?
20
THE BLUE BIRD
The beauty of the soul diminishes or
increases all that descends into it ;
and we can never fill more than the
cup that is held out to us.
Until the age of nine years, Helen
Keller is a monster. A peevish and
unmanageable little animal, she
struggles and suffers without know-
ing it. Then a young governess,
Anne Mansfield Sullivan, comes to
her and undertakes her education with
the patience of a saint. She invents
methods of communication : first, the
designation of objects, the names of
which she traces on the child's hand ;
next, the connection between words
and things. Follows the awakening
of thought, the exercise of reflection,
21
until at last, by means of more and
more subtle experiments, a concep-
tion of the abstract is attained. One
fine summer's day, while Anne Sullivan
is endeavouring to make the child
enter into the kingdom of the feelings,
Helen, after hesitating between the
warmth of the sun and the scent of
the flowers clasped in her small
ringers, throws herself into Anne's arms.
She has grasped the fact that love lies
there, in the heart of her rescuer.
We are appalled at the thought
of that pregnant moment, when
Helen's mind was awakened simulta-
neously to the sense of its awfulness
and of its power. Turning towards the
darkness, Helen asked for the light ;
22
THE BLUE BIRD
and she turned and turned in vain,
like a sufferer on a bed of torment !
The gradation that enables us to
bear our troubles by accustoming us to
them did not exist for her. At each
movement, that captive soul received
a mortal blow ; and this at the happy
age when a child's laughter at every
moment gains a fresh triumph.
By what miracle did Helen's
reason survive? Does moral force
exist in a poor little creature who is
still separated from the world by the
slenderest of partitions ? No ; and I
believe that Helen was saved because
she already possessed the passion for
conquest. She gauges an obstacle
only the better to overcome it.
23
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
From the day on which Helen
Keller first became a sentient being,
her progress was unprecedented and
swifter than that of normal children ;
her imagination was surprising; and
we see shining in the depths of her
darkness the divine spirit of enquiry
that will support her all the days of
her life. She thinks, she improves her
mind, she writes ; she is zealous and
active ; she creates institutions for
the welfare of the blind, founds
libraries, interests herself in politics,
travels, plays games and visits
museums.
Does this mean that Helen does
not suffer? Let there be no mistake
made : though the troubles of super-
24
THE BLUE BIRD
beings are less apparent to our eyes,
though such beings do not fill the air
with their cries and clamours, they
nevertheless suffer more intensely
than others, for our sufferings are
proportionate to our powers of re-
sistance.
We attribute to the dying man
regrets which he no longer has, for
everything disperses together. Even
so, the misfortunes that assail us when
we are in our prime find room only
within the compass of our soul.
25
Ill
UT suddenly a sound of footsteps
rouses me from my reverie : I
hear some one in the distance, on the
echoing stairs ; it is She, it is certain
to be She! A sort of enthusiastic fear
quickens my whole being ; and my
thoughts riot like a swarm of midges
in a ray of sunshine. In a moment
I shall see her I What will she be
like ? What sort of face will she
have, what sort of expression and
bearing? How are we going to com-
26
THE BLUE BIRD
municate ? How shall I penetrate
into her prison ? Alas 1 I declined,
when she so kindly offered to come
to me yesterday. I wanted to meet
her in her own home, amid her
familiar surroundings. All this is
often indicative of character ; and, now
that I am here, my fancy seems to
me childish. Is she not ever and
always in her tower of darkness and
silence ? What can colour or form or
harmony matter to her ? Are not
her relations to things cold and life-
less ? Does her splendid isolation
touch the outer world at any point ?
How can I hope to find her more
easily in her house than amid the
triviality of an hotel sitting-room ?
27
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
She is here, close to me, on the arm
of Mrs. Macy, her teacher, her good
angel, her life. I saw her coming
from the far end of three large rooms
separated by wide bays. She is here!
At first, I could not believe that this
was she, this smiling girl who seemed
to be looking at me out of her fine
blue eyes ; and I instinctively turned
to Mrs. Macy, who herself was blind
until the age of twenty and who still
wears a white veil to temper the light
to her weak eyes. But Helen spoke !
With an effort, she pronounces a few
words of welcome ; and, when I hear
that voice which comes from an
abyss, that laugh, that ghostly laugh,
which echoes through her silence like
28
THE BLUE BIRD
revellers' footsteps in the stillness of
the night, I feel the hateful distance
that parts us and I am filled with
dread.
You will forgive me, dear Helen,
and your generous soul will smile
indulgently down in your crystal
darkness. You know that we apply
the term miracle to all that surpasses
our understanding and that, directly
we come into touch with the finer
realities, our instinctive alarm clothes
them in mystery. And so, when our
two souls sought each other, mine,
blinded with tears, was the one that
was really astray: too far to hear your
call, too weak to come to you at
once, it was in despair at not finding
29
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
the road to the kingdom which it felt
was near at hand. Since that day,
we have become friends, I have
understood you and I know that, in
telling you to-day what I suffered
during our first interview, I shall be
revealing nothing to your wondrous
vision. How your pity rose superior
to mine, when I instinctively turned
away my face wet with tears while
my lips formed trembling words
beneath your fingers 1 ...
From the moment, therefore, when
I first set eyes on Helen Keller, I
was excited, anguish-stricken, shudder-
ing, tossed incessantly between en-
thusiasm and horror, by turns
astounded and revolted, incapable of
30
THE BLUE BIRD
estimating, grasping or analyzing my
impressions ; my imagination was
distraught, my reason unbalanced, my
whole mind was in disorder ; and this
first visit was wholly dominated by
the force and novelty of my sensa-
tions. While Helen, with serenity
stamped upon her brow, but yet
curious about my life, spoke and asked
me a thousand questions, gathering
unwitting answers from my mouth,
it was I who was deaf and dumb and
blind hi the presence of that being
who seemed to see me without seeing,
to hear me without bearing and to
speak to me from the heart of the
unknown, for my senses had suddenly
become useless and surged blindly
31
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
against faculties which I perceived
without being able to understand
them. My brain formulated solutions
which it saw to be mad :
" While Helen is undoubtedly
deprived of our manner of hearing
and seeing, does she not possess a
sixth and a seventh sense whose
existence we do not suspect ? "
I stood dismayed in the presence
of that power whose stupendous
mystery baffled me at every instant
and whose greatness I could only
measure by the excess of my own
bewilderment. . . .
The person who would venture to
speak dogmatically of Helen Keller
after an hour's visit may be taken to
32
THE BLUE BIRD
belong to the vast family of the de-
mented, who behold without seeing,
listen without hearing and speak
without understanding.
Helen Keller 33
IV
TTTHEN I saw the two women
come forward, I took a few
steps to meet them ; and this brought
us to the hall. In America, as in
England, the intimacy of most of the
houses greets you on the threshold.
The cold entrance-lobby, where we too
often leave with our furs or our sun-
shades some of our inner warmth
or light, does not exist. Here, the
hall connects the parlour and the
dining-room without interrupting their
34
THE BLUE BIRD
hospitable charm. There are flowers
and books upon a table ; deep easy-
chairs are drawn up to the blazing
logs ; and one is often thick in con-
versation on the first steps of the
staircase.
We are standing close together.
Helen has not left the arm of her
companion, whose husband, a young
American with a smile full of sym-
pathy and understanding, has now
joined the group. Helen is tall and
well-developed. She has a finely-
shaped head and well-cut, regular
features : the nose almost classically
straight ; the rather full mouth nobly
curved ; the chin small but firm ;
the eyes set in their deep sockets,
35
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
alas, to screen a too-penetrating
glance ; and, dominating all, a lofty
brow, a high, square forehead that
attracts and holds the attention. Is
it because the eyes are lacking that
it seems so much alive ? Very clear,
very smooth, with only a tiny furrow
grooved in the centre by effort and
study, it is indeed the sun of that
countenance, bathing it with its radi-
ance. You feel that, if you covered
it, everything would grow dim.
Encircling her brow is a black-velvet
ribbon, its edges prettily worked with
very dainty steel beads. Her chest-
nut hair, dressed low down in the
neck, is devoid of wave or parting
and drawn back into a tight knot
36
THE BLUE BIRD
behind. At the utmost, a softening
touch may occasionally be given by
a lock which has eluded the im-
prisoning ribbon and strayed on her
temples ; and yet this severe style
suits her and, when we study her
profile and her rather masculine
throat, straight and pure as a column,
we are reminded of the Athenian
youths on some bas-relief.
Helen always holds herself very
erect, almost to stiffness, and her
dress is that of any other American
girl away from the big centres. The
full, grey-cloth skirt and the blouse
of embroidered ninon suggest a well-
proportioned and softly-rounded figure.
She gesticulates freely ; and the
37
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
nervous vigour of her movements is
full of interest and significance. Her
arms have the force of two strange
little people, the ready hands, now
insistent, now receptive, forming the
mysterious little heads, devoted to
the service of an invisible sovereign.
While those hands actually hear and
speak, they also appear to see, so
quick are they to grasp things or
avoid them. They are the outriders
of Helen's firm step and recoil in-
stinctively from the obstacle before
coming in contact with it.
I have mentioned Helen's step. It
alone is a revelation. All her energy,
her tenacity, her pluck, her super-
human courage, all her power is
38
THE BLUE BIRD
there, in that firm and rapid walk
which seems to dart forward under
the constant governance of an irre-
sistible law. You have but to observe
the girl for a moment to feel in her
an impetuous force, captive passions
that at first knock impatiently at
closed doors and then escape by un-
suspected outlets. Very few people
give so powerful an impression of
vitality. In a drawing-room full of
visitors, in a volatile atmosphere
of glances, smiles and chatter, Helen,
quivering as the forest quivers in the
night wind, changeful, impetuous,
eloquent as nature itself, or suddenly
terrifying in her adamantine immo-
bility, Helen would proclaim the
39
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
victory of the inner life and would
stand there, in the midst of pleasure,
like a sublime and eternal interro-
gation! . . .
40
-
A T moments of direct communi-
*--^- cation, that is to say, when
Helen gathers on my lips a scarce-
opened thought that seems to blossom
in the warmth of her intelligent
hand, her grave expression first de-
notes attention ; next a joyous con-
vulsion of her whole body takes us
by surprise. It is a movement brilliant
as a lightning-flash which tells us
that her darkness is suddenly riven.
Thus her erect and formal bearing is
41
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
constantly broken by shivers which are
caused by nothing that is apparent to
those who watch her. To her, they
correspond with so many vibrations and
with a whole little world of sensations
which we do not perceive. Those
faint thrills and violent convulsions,
which make her start exactly as
though she had received an electric
shock, are the revelation of a life
that has its own laws and its own
conventions.
Her features retain no trace of the
terrible battles that must have been
waged within her at the time of life's
awakening. And yet how she must
have battered herself against her
prison- walls before accepting that life ;
42
THE BLUE BIRD
with what rebellious and what mad
despair she must at first have flung
herself upon the doors that would
not let her through ! I feel her to be
ardent and passionate, full of health
and of impatience. This woman
whom I am observing with all my
powers and who sometimes quivers
under my glance as though it reached
her mind, this woman assuredly is
not one of the meek. Her face is
modelled by the cruel and exquisite
fingers of an infinite sensibility ; her
nostrils seize and savour the slightest
breeze and, at such times, tremble
with a longing that sets her face
rippling like water brushed by a
bird's wing.
43
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
Her mouth, the idle servant of the
mind, the servant straying in silence :
more than any other is it not devoted
to the pleasure of ready smiles, of
sunshine and roses ? And do not
her ever-flickering eyelids seem to
droop over quivering glances?
Everything in her betrays perpetual
alarms ; but I feel that she is armed
and ready for the fray. I see her,
blind as she is, sword in hand.
Bravely she fights, without flinching ;
she purifies her dreams, without
chasing them away; she stands her
ground, measures forces and wins.
She strikes back boldly at life as it
assails her; and, when beaten, she is
able in her secret soul to draw victory
44
THE BLUE BIRD
out of her defeat. She knows the
triumph that belongs to the van-
quished. She has learnt that, in the
great balance of all-pervading injustice,
there is no such thing as lasting
sorrow. For, while the palms and
laurels weigh down one scale, sorrow
rises in the other, rises in solitude,
thus proclaiming the one victory that
can crown its proud beauty.
I am not mistaken. It is a super-
human energy that incessantly brings
Helen back to the essential peace ;
and I tremble when I think of that
force which is ever going from the
night into the night, of that force
which wakes and falls asleep, works,
laughs and moves in darkness. . . .
45
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
What celestial treasure is it that
each morning, in the recesses of a
prison-house, creates anew the charm
of dawn and sunlight ?
46
VI
TTTE are sitting in the parlour;
* * and Mr. Macy's hand is
now speaking to Helen's. The girl
bends her head as though the
better to absorb the revealing
element ; she smiles and answers
with her nimble fingers. Then her
friend stands up and moves away
. . . and we suddenly see Helen's
silence! I see it: it is tangible and
so heavy that it seems gradually to
arrest all conversation. I have lost
47
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
the power of speech. My thoughts
leave the bright room and I pass
through the same terrifying sensation
which I experienced once before,
when visiting a mine a thousand feet
below ground : I then thought that
the weight of the world was bearing
upon my frail shoulders ; and it was
as though I could not find room to
breath in the interminable gallery.
I look at Helen, immured upright,
enigmatic in her tomb. No, I can-
not imagine that her silence, which
is eternal, can be soft, peaceful and
sweet like ours, like that which we
seek and which we love because it
steeps us in unalloyed joy. Hers
seems to me to be of lead, similar
48
65
-s^
8?
THE BLUE BIRD
to that which is broken by the
decisive words or deeds that come to
inflict a mortal wound upon our
soul. And it reminds me also of
the most terrible of all silences, that
of the waiting which has outlasted
hope. The air that surrounds us at
such times seems to harden like
plaster; and our feet can no longer
bear us, our hands can no longer
meet, our tears are dried and our
heart stops beating. An icy breath
is upon us ; and we feel that, when
death comes, it must come like this.
I should like to speak, so as to
cease thinking; I should like to
make a movement: why is it impos-
sible ? I suffer, I choke on the
Helen Keller 49 E
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
brink of the darkness where I feel
that She breathes. She dwells in a
solitude where my imagination loses
itself. Where is she? Where is she?
The gulf that opens before me is too
deep ; my sensations, my thoughts,
my sentiments roll into it without
the least echo reaching my ears. I
am as one who throws stones into a
well to sound its depth and who,
hearing no sound, measures infinity
by the answering silence. Thus I
gauge the force of the impression
made upon me by the sudden eclipse
of my life. . . . Still, I must flee from
my too vivid emotions, I must escape
from Helen's silence. I try to turn
away from it, but it is everywhere:
50
THE BLUE BIRD
was it not this silence that broke up
the conversation and separated each
one of us ? My friend stands leaning
against the chimney-piece ; she holds
out first one small foot and then the
other to the flames. Mrs. Macy is
looking for a book; and Mr. Macy
is at the window in the next room,
gazing out upon the wintry land-
scape. No, it is not the silence that
has divided them, for Mr. Macy and
his wife know the infinite loneliness
of their dear sister; as for my com-
panion, that daring little Amazon is
very seldom seized with panic. No,
they have moved away so that I
may converse with Helen by myself.
I have but to take her hand : I will
51
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
place it softly to my mouth; Helen
will understand me, will answer me ;
and slowly, reverently I shall ap-
proach her soul and break her silence.
. . . But, if it appears to me unsur-
mountable, that is because the mighty
rush of my own life comes breaking
against it like a wave, because I
arrive on the threshold of the sanct-
uary a prey to vain agitations,
because the noise of the world is still
ringing wildly in the caverns of my
brain and because my face, my hands,
my hair and the very folds of my
dress are still spangled with all the
unknown glances. . . .
In the inevitable oneness of your
soul, Helen, you do not know the
52
THE BLUE BIRD
exaltation that arises from self-detach-
ment. It exists in life; but on the
stage it is all-powerful : you do not
know what a perturbing thing it is
to feel sorrow, joy and love, to out-
stretch our arms, to measure our steps,
to smile or weep, all in the little
space formed by another's thoughts.
In a counterfeit ray of moonlight
through words learnt by rote and
sentiments deliberately assumed, we
pour out our very souls, for truth
alone can soften and subdue. . . .
That is why, on entering your
house, I was at once afraid of my
overwrought nerves, of my unbridled
feelings. It is I, in my palace with
the thousand open doors, I who
53
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
tremble at receiving you. My ears,
Helen, are filled with wondrous har-
monies, my eyes are heavy with fair
visions and my lips distil, together
with the flowers of gladness, the divine
fictions of the poets. Under the
limpid skies of your young country,
my fondly-pampered emotion is in-
cessantly in advance of my reason.
I have quitted solitude, for a time,
quitted the temple whither we return
nightly to lay at the feet of our
gods the treasures amassed through-
out the day. Let me collect myself,
dear Helen ; for my eyes, ears and
lips are the willing victims of life.
I leant my head on the blind girl's
shoulder. She gave a shiver, slowly
54
THE BLUE BIRD
clasped her hands and pressed them
to my heart. I felt that her breath
was coming more quickly; I looked
at her : she was pale and turned
her face towards me. I imagined
that she saw me at that moment,
for a tear softened her eyes. Can
one say that eyes are dead when
there still shines from them an ex-
pression so eloquently alive?
In a very low tone, she articulated:
" I have found your heart."
Then, after a long silence, nervously,
as though obeying the impulse of an
admirable discipline, she raised her
head proudly, tried to smile and
turned full to the sun, which came
and played in her glazed pupils.
55
VII
TTELEN wishes to show me her
-* * study, drags me away post-
haste.
"Don't be astonished," says Mrs.
Macy, laughing. " Helen cannot walk
slowly. I no longer try to keep up
with her in the country : she used to
tire me too much. Now, she goes out
with my husband; and theyj^take
long walks together in the morning."
" Does she get up early ? "
" She is always the first," replies
56
THE BLUE BIRD
Mrs. Macy. "She is up at six
o'clock, dresses and does her hair by
herself; and she even likes doing
her own room. She must always be
active. Do you see that wire," she
asked, going to a window, " stretched
from tree to tree all round the
grounds ? That is to let Helen run
about freely without fear of hurting
herself. When she wants exercise,
she takes hold of the wire and
scampers along it, in wind, rain or
snow, like a regular boy."
Full of curiosity, I go on asking
questions. Mr. Macy answers them
all; and I learn that every day,
after the morning walk in the country,
Helen comes back to work. She is
57
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
at present writing an essay on the
submerged tenth, for her heart aches
over the sufferings of the poor. She
takes a keen interest in politics ; Mrs.
Macy interprets the newspaper to her ;
and the afternoons are spent quietly
in reading, working and thinking.
Helen is fond of every kind of sport :
she boats, rides and loves bicycling
tandem, for the speed of it intoxicates
her and puts her in the highest
spirits. She loves her dogs ; and
they love her and accompany her on
all her expeditions. She receives so
many letters, from all over the world,
that she is unable to reply to any
but those which interest her specially.
Often young girls come out from
58
THE BLUE BIRD
Boston to visit her: she likes their
gaiety. She can embroider, knit and
do every sort of needlework ; but
more serious occupations attract her
fine intelligence. Sometimes, as a
relaxation from the work of the day,
she plays cards or chess in the even-
ing. They show me the ingenious
chess-board contrived for her use
and the cards which she names
to me one by one, handling them
with such dexterity that I have
hardly time to perceive the little
raised signs with which they are
marked.
We are now in the study. This is
Helen's kingdom. Again, floods of
light, more light than anywhere else,
59
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
and a silence that seems to me to be
increased by that host of white books
which speak only to her fingers. On
the table in the middle of the room
stands a typewriter specially con-
structed for the blind girl's use ;
on the wall, I see a medallion of
Homer hung low enough for her
easily to reach and touch it ; and
I remember the moving lines which
she devotes to it in her Story of
my Life:
" How well I know each line in that
majestic brow : tracks of life and bitter
evidences of struggle and sorrow ; those
sightless eyes seeking, even in the cold plaster,
for the light and the blue skies of his beloved
Hellas, but seeking in vain."
60
THE BLUE BIRD
And she quotes these lines of the
great poet whom she loves:
" O dark, dark, dark, amid the blaze of
noon,
Irrecoverably dark, total eclipse
Without all hope of day ! "
Behind the chair in which she sits
is a wide bow- window with shelves on
which pots of flowers are arranged
as in a conservatory. On her right,
another window brings her the first
rays of the morning. Everything is
bright, wholesome and happy-looking,
with no vain luxury. It is good to
be here and to inhale real life, stripped
of all its useless ornaments. Flowers,
61
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
light and books make Helen's
kingdom !
I examine the big volumes standing
on shelves along the two main walls
of the room. Mr. and Mrs. Macy
explain that the blind girl reads from
embossed characters and from braille,
which has several variations. The
ordinary embossed book is printed in
roman type, but the characters, which
are very simply designed, are square
and sharply angular ; the small letters
are nearly a fifth of an inch high ; and
they are raised above the page to about
the thickness of a thumb-nail. The
size of the books is similar to that of
a volume of an encyclopaedia. I take
up one and am surprised at its light-
62
THE BLUE BIRD
ness, which is due to the fact that, as
the characters in relief prevent the
sheets from lying quite flat, the number
of pages in a volume is bound to be
small. There are not many books of
this kind, for they are very expensive
to produce ; but Helen's friends have
had everything that was likely to
interest her specially set up ; and I
judge the extent of her culture from
the titles which Mrs. Macy reads out
to me. These include all the great
philosophers, poets and dramatists:
Shakspeare, Horace, JEschylus, Virgil,
Cicero, Plato, Pascal. She reads in
their own language the Greeks and the
Romans, as well as Goethe, Schiller
and Heine.
63
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
A catholic taste has presided over
Helen's choice. She is thoroughly
versed in French literature and fondly
quotes to me the most varied thoughts
of Maeterlinck. She has learnt pages
of The Blue Bird by heart, for the
pleasure of constantly brightening her
solitude with them. She recites them
to me in a shadowy voice which she
seems to draw from her heart itself;
then she gives me for Maeterlinck a
copy of her latest work, The World I
Live in, and, in a firm hand, inscribes
it with some lines spoken by the
Fairy in The Blue Bird:
" All stones are alike, all stones are precious,
but man sees only a few of them."
64
",S/ie holds communion with space and
light and with the garden.
Page 69
THE BLUE BIRD
" Men are to be pitied," adds Helen.
"They do not know how to be
happy."
And, after a pause :
"I am sorry for men," she sighs.
Helen Keller (55
VIII
are in Helen's bedroom, on
the first floor, a very cheerful,
very tidy, white-walled room. The
bed faces the window, which opens
on a large balcony overlooking the
garden. I am told that Helen loves
to rest her elbows on the rail and
turn her eyes towards the familiar
landscape. She goes straight to the
balcony now ; and, as she passes from
the shadow to the sunshine, she holds
out both hands to the light and laughs
66
THE BLUE BIRD
as she feels the hot rays upon her
face.
" She adores the sun," says Mr.
Macy. " She always receives it as an
unexpected favour."
Standing there, heedless of the icy
air, which she inhales rapturously,
Helen cries, like a happy child :
" The sun ! ... The sun ! "
How primitive she seems to me at
this moment ! She is indeed wholly
absorbed in a material satisfaction :
she is one with the earth, the trees,
the plants, with all the animal life
which she loves and understands with
a deeper insight than we.
Are we not often limited by our
senses ?
67
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
" When we see everything, we see
nothing," wrote that wonderful
woman, Laurent Evrard.
In front of us, a great tree,
stripped by the hand of winter,
stands out against the cold sky. Its
gnarled roots raise the snow like
hands folded under a white sheet;
and its shadow lying stark upon the
ground is the elegy of its spring.
This tree calls up a picture of human
misery.
Those over-zealous slaves, my eyes,
have seen much besides the tree ; and,
by a combination of images evolved in
my brain, I am at last carried thou-
sands of miles from what I look upon.
What does Helen see? Nothing
68
THE BLUE BIRD
and everything. Undistracted by any
object, she holds communion with
space and light and with the garden,
which has yielded all its secrets to
her. Many a time she has encircled
the tree with her arms ; she has
surprised its whispering to the wind ;
she has considered its leaves ; she
has felt it groaning against her heart ;
she has had the height and the shape
of its branches explained to her ;
and she has breathed the perfume of
its rugged bark at all hours of the
day. If she is now thinking of the
great tree, she sees it better than we
do, for all her energies are occupied
in recreating it in the light of her
knowledge.
69
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
Our glance has barely alighted be-
fore our attention is far away ; and
sometimes even our eyes rest on an
object without summoning our in-
telligence. Our laws are other; and
this is fortunate, for our too-busy
senses would tyrannize over us, if
habit did not make them, to a
certain extent, act independently
of us.
Very often, our eyes and ears amuse
themselves like children under the
closer contemplation of a spirit that
is absorbed in itself, hearkening only
to its own harmonies and pursuing
its own life, one that obliterates
shapes and banishes sounds ; one that
is steeped in an eternal radiance ; one
70
THE BLUE BIRD
that, I doubt not, taught a Helen
Keller how to smile, thus by a
secret glimmer revealing its divine
presence.
71
IX
" TT'S lunch-time," says Mrs. Macy.
"* "You must stay and lunch
with us."
Such an atmosphere of simplicity
pervades this house that it seems
quite natural to me to form part of
this gracious and charming household
as long as possible ; and, when we
go back to the parlour, preceded by
Helen's vigorous step, I find it diffi-
cult to believe that I am only setting
foot in it for the second time.
72
THE BLUE BIRD
One might live at Wrentham with-
out making any change in the house.
In the hospitable depths of just such
English easy-chairs, we read our
favourite books ; the low window-
seats are a temptation to day-dreams;
and it is the peace which we cherish
that lies over all these things which
we ourselves might have chosen.
Those who live here have succeeded,
by the force of their individual life,
in making their home what it always
should be, but so seldom is, a haven :
a haven not only against the cold
and rain, but against stealthier foes,
enemies more difficult to overcome.
Walls that ward off intruders, doors
that shut out the folly and spite of
73
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
the world, a roof that shelters peace
and happiness. . . .
There are two forces in this house
that keep watch like benevolent
goddesses : Anne Sullivan's intelli-
gence and her goodness. To them
Helen owes her life ; it is they that
created her anew. Imprisoned in
silence, isolated from the world,
she was a little animal, wild and
insentient, struggling in the darkness.
Anne's heart and brain came to set
her free ; and Helen cannot do with-
out them now. The two forces that
gave her life ensure her present quiet
content. The thought fills me with
admiration and explains the sense of
well-being that steals over me.
74
THE BLUE BIRD
With us, intelligence and goodness
blossom in the current of indifference
that bears good and evil, sorrow and
joy drifting on its waters. These
beautiful flowers are ours to love,
to gather, to deck our lives with
incessantly ; but, whereas to us they
are an actual luxury, the fragrance
and the glory of our lot, to Helen
they are a necessity, her daily bread.
To be of use to her, they had to
become incarnate in a human being,
to assume a mortal shape and a
superhuman soul and will.
I see them, those two guardians
of the sacred prison into which they
unwearyingly pour daylight, space
and joy. I breathe them as one
75
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
breathes the incense in a church and
I find the same quietude ; but the
fabric is a human soul whose matter
is made of love and spiritual light.
Except for Anne Sullivan's intelli-
gence and goodness, Helen would still
be what she was at first, a living
nullity.
What a superb lesson ! Helen is
not the work of life multiplying itself
blindly : she is the creation of a con-
sciousness, the offspring of an intelli-
gence. What a rebuke to our dis-
couragement and impatience ! How
great a monument we raise by merely
laying one stone every day ; but how
humble we must be in the presence
of the task 1
76
THE BLUE BIRD
The parlour clock strikes one. I
consult my charming guide with a
glance ; and her smile grants me a
few moments longer. This is the
time at which lunch is served every
day. Helen's admirable companion
has simplified actions and habits as
much as possible. A tray is brought
with tea and coffee, sandwiches and
cakes, thus doing away with one of
the principal meals, those mechanical
formalities which interrupt the freedom
of Helen's existence so unpleasantly.
Mrs. Macy at once sets Helen's
favourite delicacies before her and,
with fond solicitude, sugars her tea,
pours in the cream and places the
cup and tea-spoon in her hands.
77
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
I like this noble servitude which
has not sought to make Helen triumph
over the insignificant things of life.
No doubt, she can help herself when
necessary and when she pleases ; but
why not save her the trouble ? Why
constrain her to spend a precious
force to no purpose ? When the
brain cannot be obeyed instanta-
neously, when isolation has divorced
the thought from the gesture, why
bring it painfully back ?
When Mrs. Macy placed the cup
of tea in Helen's hands, Helen thanked
her with a smile ; and at that moment
I received a vision of the wonderful
companionship that unites the two
women. With what serene superi-
78
THE BLUE BIRD
ority Helen accepts to be " the inferior "
in daily life ! Indeed, the blind girl
may well put out her hands when
she is hungry and cling to her friend's
arm when she is tired. She may
well ask to be assisted in her weak-
ness, she who from the depths of her
luminous darkness extends over all
those who surround her the greatest,
the most beautiful, the most infinite
protection ! Is she not there, in the
house, as a safeguard of beautiful
li ving ? She is protected, it is true ;
but see how she herself protects
others ! Can we doubt the quality
of the bonds which unite that admir-
able trio at Wrentham ? To the
husband and wife, Helen's presence
79
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
has the sweetness of a starry night.
She is an inspiration and an encourage-
ment to those around her and draws
out the best that lies hidden in them.
By the very force of her helplessness she
entreats conscientiousness, she enjoins
generosity; her virtue calls for equal
virtue ; her energy commands courage.
She is the permanent mystery amid
the ordinary course of life. What
lips, with that hand upon them,
could have the power to utter base-
ness ? What fingers would dare to
place the weight of an unjust word
on that frail palm so innocently
offered ?
It seems to me that lies must needs
be cast aside on the threshold of her
80
THE BLUE BIRD
night, like useless garments. Before
this life consecrated wholly to thought,
that which is illusory must shrivel
up, that which is not strong must
abandon hope, that which is not
enduring can find no peace. Habit
and time themselves are vanquished
at Wrentham : how could they per-
form their work of destruction, their
gnawing, levelling and severing ?
The wretched little stream of daily
needs has not been and never will be
able to dissolve the indispensable and
sublime alliance between Helen and
Anne. Can the prisoner grow accus-
tomed to the ray of light that finds
its way into his cell day after day ?
Should a friend succeed in com-
Helm Killer gj Q
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
municating with him, can he ever
receive without emotion the words
of affection that speak to his
heart deep down in the eternal
silence ? .
82
QUDDENLY, I hear Helen's
^ laugh, that strange, lost laugh,
that far-away, strident laugh which
to my unaccustomed ears sounds like
a joy in anguish. Mr. Macy handed
her a cake ; she imagined that she
was taking it, but it fell into her lap ;
and, very quickly, as though she
wished to save us from a painful
thought, she laughed.
I look at Mr. Macy, who smiles
as he answers:
83
THE GIKL WHO FOUND
"It's always like that, whenever
she meets with a mishap. If she
knocks herself, or breaks something,
or does anything clumsy, she makes
fun of herself. And then she is
so cheerful ; she is so fond of life :
you know, she would like to live
a thousand years. She loves sports
and games and, above all, study ;
and, would you believe it, she has
also a feeling for art."
" Oh, yes ! " his wife chimes in,
always eager to explain the dear
prodigy. "Indeed, she sometimes
wonders if the hand is not more
sensitive to the beauties of sculpture
than the eye 1 "
And I remember those words
84
THE BLUE BIRD
of Helen's in The Story of my
Life:
" I should think the wonderful rhythmical
flow of lines and curves could be more
subtly felt than seen. Be this as it may,
I know that I feel the heart-throbs of the
ancient Greeks in their marble gods and
Anne Sullivan continues her wel-
come information:
" She is very fond of the theatre
too. I explain the piece to her
during the performance and she
thinks that she is living amid the
events on the stage ; she is player
and spectator in one. She asked to
meet Irving and Ellen Terry ; she
85
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
touched their faces and has retained
an unforgettable impression of them."
Speaking of Joseph Jefferson, who
was playing Rip van Winkle in New
York at the time when Helen was
still at school, Mrs. Macy says :
" Helen had often read the story,
but she never felt the charm of it
as she did in the play. The actor's
beautiful, pathetic representation quite
carried her away with delight. She
has a picture of old Rip in her fingers
which they will never lose."
Evidently, Helen has a finger
memory as we have an ocular and
aural memory. Anne Sullivan tells
me that she and her pupil remember
" in their fingers " what they have
86
THE BLUE BIRD
said at different times ; and I learn
that, when Helen reads a passage
which interests her particularly, she
repeats it on the fingers of her right
hand so as to fix it in her brain.
Sometimes even this gesture becomes
unconscious ; and, when she strolls in
the garden, they see her making quick,
continual movements, as though, in
spite of herself, her vigorous mind
felt a need to incarnate itself in her
valiant hands.
But the pleasure which she takes
in the theatre surprises and amazes
us. By what strange intuition can
Helen feel the charm of a public
performance? Alone in her infinite
darkness, seeing nothing and hearing
87
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
nothing, while her companion tells
her what is happening, could she
not imagine herself at the theatre
when she is in the calm of her own
room? No and again no; and that
is where this astonishing being asserts
her connection with a world of which
we have no cognizance. The vibra-
tions strike her, the waves of sound
caress her, the mingled perfumes
envelop her, she breathes the hot
vaporous air. The heavily-charged
atmosphere peculiar to a playhouse
excites and stimulates her. The
unknown agencies that inform her
pass to and fro between her and
the crowd, filling voids and satisfying
her devouring curiosity. Her all-
88
THE BLUE BIRD
powerful mind catches fire ; and one
can imagine that solitary and passion-
ate soul gathering all the wandering
and inactive forces floating over the
audience who, like children, watch
the pictures and follow the events
enacted on the stage.
Helen was twelve years old when
Miss Sullivan first took her to the
theatre. It was at Boston, where
Elsie Leslie, the child-actress, was
playing the chief part in a piece
entitled The Prince and the Pauper.
Helen appears to have experienced
ineffaceable emotions, at once glad
and melancholy. We must really
admire the courage of the teacher
who subjected the little blind, deaf
89
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
and dumb girl to so cruel a test,
bringing her into direct contact with
prohibited joys and exposing her to
the worst sufferings. And even more
do we admire her who came victorious
out of every struggle, having so to
speak built upon her incomplete life
a new life composed wholly of divina-
tion, intelligence and will-power. . . .
90
XI
A NOTHER thing proved to me
^^ how greatly Helen's sensibility
differs from ours. The rush and bustle
of towns wearies her ; and she spoke
to me of her love for the country :
"People seem surprised at this
preference," she said, dragging from
her throat the reluctant syllables that
come forth one by one in imperfect
sounds. Then, with her favourite
gesture, an abrupt movement that
lifts her head and imparts a proud
91
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
motion to her whole bust, she con-
tinued :
" Yes, people who think that all
sensations reach us through the eye
and the ear have expressed surprise
that I should notice any difference,
except possibly the absence of pave-
ments, between walking in city streets
and in country roads. They forget
that my whole body is alive to the
conditions about me. The rumble
and roar of the city smite the nerves
of my face ; and I feel the ceaseless
tramp of an unseen multitude ; and
the dissonant tumult frets my spirit.
The grinding of heavy waggons on
hard pavements and the monotonous
clangour of machinery are all the
92
THE BLUE BIRD
more torturing to one's nerves if one's
attention is not diverted by the
panorama that is always present in
the noisy streets to people who can
see."
And Helen found pleasure in de-
scribing to me at length the joys
which she derives from the sweet
serenity of nature, her infinite love
for flowers and especially for the trees,
which she looks upon as friends, her
boating-trips, her excursions into the
mountains, her walks in the fields
and meadows. And, in spite of her
difficulty with her speech, which some-
times needed the help of a fraternal
hand to liberate its lyric vehemence,
I seemed to perceive through her
93
shrill rhapsodies the special fragrance
and the mysterious beauty which
belong in turns to morning, to twi-
light and to night, which belong, in
short, to the hour that secretly en-
shrouds each memory deep at the
bottom of our soul. Thanks to her
marvellous imagination, 1 saw all that
she had not seen, I heard all that
she had not heard, I enjoyed all the
pleasures that kept her palpitating
before me with ardour and delight.
Then, gradually taking courage, I
ventured to ask her the question
which all those who try to explain
the miracle of her intelligence ask
themselves : had the normal infant
that she was for the first nineteen
94
THE BLUB BIRD
months of her life unconsciously be-
queathed to her a legacy of shapes
and lines and colours ? With her
perfect and transparent honesty, Helen
hesitated for a second and then re-
minded me of a paragraph in her
book which is evidence of her un-
easiness on this point and which
solves the problem in these words :
" It seems to me that there is in each of
us a capacity to comprehend the impressions
and emotions which have been experienced
by mankind from the beginning. Each in-
dividual has a subconscious memory of the
green earth and murmuring waters ; and
blindness and deafness cannot rob him of
this gift from past generations. This in-
herited capacity is a sort of sixth sense, a
soul-sense which sees, hears, feels, all in
one."
95
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
Helen also spoke to me of her
games, of her dogs and of her fond-
ness for little children ; and, in doing
so, she used a charming phrase :
" I wish you knew," she was saying,
"how prettily children spell into one's
hand. They are the first blossom of
humanity ; and their tiny fingers are
as it were the wild flowers of con-
versation."
She also said :
" It is delicious to feel one's palm
tickled by a baby's silky laughter"
And, when I asked her for further
explanations, she began with these
words :
" Try to understand me. You will
find that no sound, however beautiful,
96
J he Joys u>/iic/i she cterioes from the
sioeei serenity of jlature.
Page 93
THE BLUE BIRD
has the eloquence of silence, and that
we learn more by touch than by
looking. Is there not something
divine in the power of the human
hand ? They tell me that the glance
of a loved one makes you quiver at
a distance ; but there is no distance
in the touch of a cherished hand ? "
And she concluded by exclaiming :
" You are convinced now and you
no longer think that I am shut out
from the beauties of the physical
world ? One finds marvels every-
where, even in darkness and silence;
and, however defective my state may
be, I know how to be happy in it.
It is with this just and laudable
pride that Helen is constantly assert-
Helen Keller ffj H
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
ing the charms of her kingdom.
Her dignity is like a vigilant watcher
on the threshold of her night. We
feel that she never dallies with vain
melancholy ; and, if we claim the right
to enter the precincts of her prison-
house, she orders us to study it
without pity or fear and with the
noble joy which the mere wish for
knowledge imparts to the heart.
Helen had been speaking with her
lips for a long time, while holding
her friend's hand and pressing it
nervously to the rhythm of her sen-
tences. She did not seem tired ; and,
whenever the strain was apparent, her
bright smile was always there to
soften an impression that might
98
THE BLUE BIRD
otherwise have been painful ; but I
felt relieved each time that Mrs.
Macy's fingers met her thought half
way. How could I accustom myself
to that barbarous voice repeating
words, dictated by the most exquisite
of souls, mechanically and with no
feeling for their beauty ? For every-
thing is disconnected in this curious
woman. Her means of expression,
created by her will, are scattered
materials which her intelligence is
continually striving to bring together
and which, for that very reason,
make the blundering of a body that
is not adapted to our conditions of
life appear still stranger. Her hands,
which open their palms to hear; her
99
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
gestures, which are strangers ; her
voice, which awakens no echo within
her ; her words, which she patiently
essays to carve out of silence : all
these are astounding and bewildering.
And the fairy-play begins with the
spectacle of her imagination, the
imagination of a poet, springing up,
bursting into full magnificence and
falling back upon its own source like
a fountain playing in the sunshine
and flooding the cold stone basin
with its wealth of pearls.
100
XII
E AN WHILE, it was growing
late; and I thought of the
time, glad as I would have been to
forget it. The car, which had been
put up a short distance away, had
stolen silently across the thick snow
and was now throbbing under the
windows. The dull sound produced
no quiver in the air and passed un-
perceived by Helen ; but, when my
companion rose suddenly to give an
order to the driver, the blind girl
101
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
started and turned her head in the
direction of the departing footsteps
whose vibrations on the waxed floor
had informed her of the movement.
She guessed at once and stretched
towards me hands full of ardent
entreaty ; and then, impatient to ex-
press what was in her mind, she
feverishly spelt out the syllables in
the palm which her teacher held out
to her.
" She does not wish you to go,"
said Anne Sullivan, " without leaving
some memory behind you. She wants
you to sing her something."
I stood dumbfounded, thinking that
I must have misunderstood ; but
Miss Sullivan explained and, follow-
102
THE BLUE BIRD
ing her instruction, I went up close
to Helen, who placed her left hand
very lightly on my mouth. In my
emotion and bewilderment, I did not
know what farewell song to fix upon.
My memory was like an ant-hill into
which something has been suddenly
thrown, sending a whole little world
helter-skelter ; my mind sought in
vain for an air, a melody, a song of
some kind ; and I was more surprised
than Helen when my voice rose in
the silence and sobbed out Maeter-
linck's lament :
"* Et, s'il revenait tin jour, que faut-il lui
dire ? '
* Dites-lui qu'on 1'attendit jueqia'a s'en
mourir.' "
103
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
At that moment, Helen, who had
bowed her head under the weight of
an overpowering attention, began to
lift up her right hand and her fore-
finger seemed to trace in space the
exact shape of the line of music.
Faithfully her gesture sank with the
low notes and ascended in a brief
flight when a higher note intervened.
At the same time, her lips studiously
formed each word that I pronounced.
My emotion indeed was scarcely in
keeping with my singing. I was all
wrapped up in the strange experience
which set my heart beating; and I
remembered that Helen had written
in one of her remarkable essays :
" Every atom of my body is a vibroscope."
104
THE BLUE BIRD
So she went on, without faltering
or blundering, to the last verse :
" * Dites-lui que j'ai souri, de peur qu'il ne
pleure.' "
Then, all anguish-stricken and pant-
ing, Helen remained fixed in a sort of
inward contemplation whose gravity
held all speech and movement sus-
pended, after which her trembling
hands passed, with slow precision,
over my face, neck and hair.
" She wants to remember you well,"
whispered Mrs. Macy.
And, while Helen's fingers were
learning me by heart, I felt that
each of their touches was removing
a shadow and gradually revealing my
features to the light of her mind.
105
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
More touching than words or
kisses, a wind from the unknown
filled the sails of that mysterious
farewell. I shall never forget it.
The blind woman's actions were
at once a blessing and a prayer.
Like a thirsty soil, her darkness
absorbed my spirit and the mantle
of her sacred silence enveloped my
life in an infinite protection. It
was more eloquent than the tenderest
solicitude. It manifested to us,
through the anguish of separation,
the deep significance of a meeting
which had taken place beyond our-
selves, almost unknown to us, and
which was now sinking regretfully
into our consciousness. . . .
106
THE BLUE BIRD
I kissed both her dear companions ;
and my heart was wrung as though
habit, that powerful link, had long
united us. On the white piazza, in
the cold landscape, I turned round
for the last time. The winter sun was
already red and lit up, as though they
were so many sheets of metal, the
windows whose bareness had struck
me on my arrival ; but I was no longer
astonished that Helen's home was like
a glass-house bathed in light : I knew
now that the rarest of human plants
blossomed there in its pride.
The blind girl stood erect against
the glass door. Her hands were
folded ; and her white face glowed
with passionate earnestness.
107
PART II
TTTHEN I left Wrentham, 1
thought that I should never
go back to it ; but on the day after
my visit I had the opportunity of pro-
longing my stay in America and I
welcomed it joyfully and was soon
making my way once more to the
white cottage through the same
silent country clad in its luminous
mantle.
Helen believes that I sailed yester-
day ; and I have not told her that I am
111
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
coming. Will she recognize me at
once ? The experiment interests me,
while another sentiment, deeper and
more poignant, gives fresh zest to my
curiosity. In the face of that person-
ality, so vigorous and so sane, in the
presence of that bright and beautiful
intelligence, the problem was now
inverted : / no longer care about
being understood, I wish to under-
stand! I wish to find the solution
to the sublime riddle which she
presents. For, though Helen was
born defective, she has, thanks to her
pluck and her strength, become merely
"different." She had to create her
own relations with the universe ; she
adapted herself to it in a fashion other
112
THE BLUE BIRD
than ours ; and she moves in a world
peculiar to herself.
But how it irritates me to think
of the moral short-sightedness that
prevents us from quite naturally
admitting human conditions that
happen to deviate from our own !
While in the heroic girl's presence, I
constantly felt as if I was losing my
reason. During the hours that fol-
lowed on our meeting, my enthusiasm
found no outlet save in tears ; and
even this time, despite my convictions,
despite the hope which filled me with
gladness and whose justification I was
coming to her to find, I none the less
felt an invincible terror throbbing
beneath my joy. . . .
Helen Keller
II
TTELEN was at work. We had
* hushed our footsteps ; there
was nothing to warn her. Mr. Macy
softly opened the study-door ; and
the three of us stood on the threshold,
happy to see each other again,
lowering our voices instinctively as
we talked and laughed, though her
profound isolation protected her
better than our discretion. Helen
was at work and nothing could
reach her; she was wholly wrapped
114
THE BLUE BIRD
up in her thoughts, which ranged
through continents. Never had I
seen a more absolute picture of
intellectual activity.
Helen was using her typewriter ;
and the heavy silence around her
was hammered regularly by the little
hard taps of each letter. Her rigid
attitude was more striking than
ever. She was sitting, dressed as
on the last occasion, at her table
by the window, where pots of
flowers stand on shelves ; ana the
same light as before turned the
room into a radiant conservatory.
Are not things, like human beings,
loyal in their service to the blind
girl ? Do they not come between
115
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
her and the world so as to deaden
every shock? I shall often, when
I think of Helen, be conscious of
that fond conspiracy.
I was in no hurry to betray my
presence ; and my companions under-
stood me. The picture which we
were contemplating breathed such
profound and absolute peace. Helen
asserted in our eyes the strength
and security of one living far
removed from all. What a beautiful
lesson in proportion, for my senses
blinded by externals ! What an
incomparable lesson !
"I did not take her in at all, the
other day," I said to Mrs. Macy.
" I was too much excited. This
116
time, I have returned to Wrentham
like a disciple to his master; and, if
I understand her as I would wish,
I will try with all my faith and all
my heart to carry her luminous
teaching to the distant sisters for
whom she has such a tender solici-
tude."
And I imparted to Mrs. Macy all
my ideas about her pupil. She told
me that my deductions were correct
and that I might assure myself of
this by direct reference to Helen.
Without this precious permission, 1
should not have dared question her :
is not her dear Anne like a good
angel standing guard over her
cloistered life? Does she not spare
117
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
her everything that can be spared
her?
I was about to go up to Helen,
when I saw her suddenly stop
working. She sighed, passed her
hand over her forehead, which was
a little contracted with the effort
of thinking, and then resumed her
writing.
I waited a little while. I could
not bear to interrupt her ; I was on
the threshold of a temple and I was
afraid lest, in knocking, I should do
a mortal hurt to a prayer that seemed
incarnate.
The blind girl working opposite me
was both very far away, because
unaware of my presence, and very
118
THE BLUE BIRD
near, because of that unconsciousness
which allowed me, so to speak, to
see -the working of her mind. Until
that moment, I had never realized
the impenetrable armour furnished
by our senses. I was going to kiss
Helen; and my kiss would be laid
right upon her naked soul.
I kiss her, I stoop over her cheek,
passing my arm around her neck;
but she draws herself up, panting
as though an electric current had
touched her. Her nervous hands
seek mine ; then they run along my
arms, my neck, my cheeks, my hair
and, for a second, they doubt : her
quivering nostrils recognize some
subtle odour, her lips move, she is
119
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
just about to speak my name. . . .
But it is impossible ! She knows
that I am gone : this very morning
she was glad of the fine weather
and hoping that the sea would be
merciful to my pangs. She rejects
the syllables that force themselves
upon her and feverishly continues
her examination. I am wearing quite
different clothes ; and that also dis-
concerts her. Nevertheless, she finds
the game exciting. Her face lights
up with pleasure, for the feast of
hearts has already begun. She
laughs, I laugh too; and my gaiety
removes her last doubts. Then she
kisses me, hugs me, shows me her
affection with adorable smiles and
120
THE BLUE BIRD
gestures ; she falters words full of
happiness ; and I see the thousand
pure enthusiasms of that generous
nature glowing in all their radiance.
121
Ill
A S I make my excuses for inter-
*** rupting her work, she joyfully
informs me that this is almost a
holiday. Her singing-master will
soon be here with his wife ; they are
very dear friends of hers ; they both
of them come two or three times
a week to spend the afternoon, for
the lessons are very tiring to Helen
and it is only possible to work for
a few moments at a time. In the
intervals, they walk about and
talk. . . .
122
THE BLUE BIRD
Just then, Mrs. White arrives. Mr.
White is detained at the Boston
Conservatoire, but his wife will give
the lesson on the admirable principles
which he has invented for the deaf,
dumb and blind girl's benefit. They
propose to start at once. We go to
the parlour. I do not feel embarrassed
by the presence of a stranger. Mrs.
White is so thoroughly in harmony
with the household that I feel as if
I had met her here before. The
reason is that the same love shines
in the beautiful protective glance in
which she envelops Helen ; besides,
who would not be affected by that rare
atmosphere of wholesome simplicity
which reigns at Wrentham ?
123
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
Helen is standing against the piano.
One hand is placed on the neck of
Mrs. White, who, after striking a
chord, sings a note. Vaguely guided
by the vibration received in the palm
of her hand, the deaf and dumb girl
utters a sound, or rather a sort of
ardent plaint that seems flung like a
buoy into an unknown sea. . . .
But the teacher's patient ear seizes
an indication, fleeting, no doubt, but
yet sufficient to explain to the pupil
her distance from the port for which
she is steering; and they begin all
over again, twenty and thirty times
in succession.
" Higher, Helen, higher still, and
remember the vibration," says Mrs.
124
THE BLUE BIRD
Macy, who is holding her right hand
and thus saving her the effort of
reading what the singing-mistress is
saying.
The difficulty is great enough as
it is ; I can feel that the girl finds
it terribly hard to draw her poor lost
voice from the abyss hi which it is
struggling; and, when, after ten
minutes, the practice is stopped, her
face relaxes and her attitude is
eloquent of satisfaction at a well-
earned rest. Then she takes my arm
affectionately, to return to her study:
"We can talk better here," she
says ; and, as she utters the words,
she calls my attention to the increased
flexibility of her voice after those exer-
125
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
cises ; and this encourages her to hope
that she will be able to speak in public
in a few years' time.
She would so much like to give
lectures.
"On what?"
" Oh, first on the education of deaf,
dumb and blind women," she replies,
quickly. " And then on women in
general."
Helen goes on to explain that she
once had a feminine ideal which she
has outgrown, as it failed to stand
the severe test of her criticism. She
believes that women, with their judg-
ment and their patient energy, are
called upon to play their part in
the world's education : then, she says,
126
THE BLUE BIRD
men will no longer address themselves
to women's weakness, but to their
strength ; and women will be more
precious in proportion as their char-
acter is developed.
She has two favourite heroines :
Iphigenia, whom she loves for the
conflicting ideas that rend her soul,
and Maeterlinck's Ariane, who, by
her deeds and words, seems to create
a new morality of freedom, love and
daring.
" I find them admirable," she says,
"alike in their virtues and their
failings." And, with a smile, she
adds, " Horace, it is true, tells us, in
one of his odes, that many faults are
virtues which we do not understand.
127
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
But, in any case, we ought to give
gentler names to the failings of those
we love."
"You, Helen, whose life is less
subject to distractions than ours and
who live above all in the spirit, you
must have very few faults ? "
"Then they are all the greater!"
says the blind girl, laughing.
Ah, dear Helen, your victory
answers for you: if you were not
determined to the point of obstinacy,
courageous to rashness, inquisitive
almost to disobedience and self-willed
almost to rebellion, how should you
have lightened your darkness ? Horace
spoke truly, for our faults are often
the extremes of our virtues ; without
128
Mr. Wlacy.
teller.
fluffier.
THE BLUE BIRD
them, those virtues remain passive;
thanks to them, they live, they dare
and they become magnificently shame-
less.
"I am always angry at my slow-
ness," she cries, with an energy that
drives the syllables against the sides
of her throat. "I grow irritated at
the stupidity of this machine of
mine."
And, so that I may know of which
machine she speaks, she strikes her
head and throat with mock ferocity.
Then she goes on :
"My ideas fight wildly for ex
pression, as in The Blue Bird the
little Children of the Future fight to
come into the world. But Father
Helen Keller
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
Time keeps them from getting out.
I hope he won't do the same with
my ideas! . . ."
We all laugh at Helen's fancy, but
I cannot help protesting. She calls
herself slow ! It is only a very short
time since light has penetrated to
her soul; and yet she seems the fruit
of a century of patience. Tenacious
as nature, as the drop of water that
wears away the stone, as the ivy
whose unwearying vigour clothes the
ruins in an eternal spring, her exist-
ence is the emblem of human effort
overcoming all the powers of dark-
ness and steering straight for the
light. She calls herself slow ! And
we see her powerful mind, more alive
130
THE BLUE BIRD
than those at work in their many-
windowed palaces, advancing with a
firm step in the darkness of a tunnel
that has no outlet, queen of a kingdom
maintained by force of will, a kingdom
created by sheer courage. And what
courage ! A courage that transcends
our imagination, when we come to
think that the same quality that in-
spires our moments of heroism is the
source and origin of the smallest of
her pleasures.
Not a single action can she accom-
plish without a superhuman effort,
whether she talks to us of her work,
her amusements or her plans, whether
she goes to a theatre or a concert,
or visits a town or a museum, or
131
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
simply strolls in her garden. If her
courage forsook her, she would be
lost; yet who knows if she has not
profited by this iron necessity? Is
not her intelligence incessantly stimu-
lated by the exercise of an indis-
pensable will? Have not her poor,
hard-won resources made her retain
in her woman's nature the mental
acuteness and receptiveness of a child ?
132
IV
T TELEN also speaks to me of
* * feminine evolution, in which
she suspects a danger for her sisters :
" By asserting their rights, will they
not lose then* charm ? " she asks.
Then she rejects this thought with
a shrug of her shoulders :
"After all," she says, "what does
it matter what we are ? The im-
portant thing is what we are able
to do."
All Helen's psychology lies in that
133
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
reflection. Cut off from externals,
she has freed herself from them ; and
why should this simple girl care
about a beauty which is the luxury
of the eyes ? She naturally knows
nothing of the thousand precious
threads of which our woman's strength
is woven. . . .
I rise absent-mindedly and catch
sight of Helen in the glass. A strange
vision ! With her back turned to
the window and to the bright snow-
clad landscape, the blind girl is seated
stiff and straight in a chair which
happens to be opposite a mirror.
Her set, unconscious face looks like
a portrait in its frame. Her broad,
finely-shaped head stands out against
134
THE BLUB BIRD
the vast wilderness of snow ; and the
sun draws a glittering halo round her
head. Helen appears to me like a
saint imagined by some Italian primi-
tive. The fixed eyes do not answer
to the inflexion of the face ; the neck
is a little stiff; the hands clasped over
the knees are not really resting: she
is a Cimabue virgin, infinitely touch-
ing in her simplicity. Absolutely
absorbed in thought, dominated by
a definite, obvious intelligence, she
nevertheless suggests something un-
finished. . . . Many times already I
have asked myself what Helen lacks ;
the mirror tells me : it has not in-
structed her; it has never told her
her charms and her defects ; it has
135
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
never revealed her image to her.
That image lives and dies in the
mirror, whereas with us it is the re-
vealer, teaching us, correcting us and
becoming the eternal companion of a
grace which it unceasingly abandons
and directs by turns. We can neither
elude nor flee it ; it is always with
us ; it symbolizes our womanhood ; it
is distinct and fantastic, transparent
and coloured like a figure in a stained-
glass window through which we see
the world outside. We shall never
ourselves know how far that in-
separable sister influences our gravest
actions and deeds. . . .
But, though we have need to see
ourselves in order to find fulfilment,
136
THE BLUE BIRD
it is not in the glass of the docile and
faithful mirror that we really know
ourselves. It is by the looks of
others ; for the eyes of others seem to
pour out the beauty that fills them.
There is here a mysterious interchange.
Does not the woman who loves rise
and grow to the height of the eyes
that contemplate her ?
Looks that tremble and glance,
looks that flame, pursue and weigh,
prayerful, joyful or sorrowful looks,
cold looks that judge, blame or ap-
prove: one and all they give, one
and all they teach us to know our-
selves. Tis therefore in the critical
flash of others' looks that we behold
the truth ; and we are the prisoners
137
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
of the harmony that is expected of
us.
Dear Helen has not stirred from
her frame : has she guessed my reflec-
tions during my long silence ? I
think so, I am even a little inclined
to fear so ; and at all risks I ex-
press to her the other side of my
thought :
" Independent of externals, Helen,
you make for reality by the most
direct paths."
" And therefore," she says, " my
life is harder, but simpler than that
of others."
Helen in fact is close to that unity
which we seek in vain, though wisdom
promises it to us. To all of us there
138
THE BLUE BIRD
comes a day when our life is simpli-
fied. Dreams and vanities are in us
like banners on the day after a
festival ; withered flowers, faded
ribbons, streaming colours : in the
face of our anxiety, nothing remains
but the essential. But, just because
the details become effaced, the horizon
widens, distances appear and other
and graver problems arise. . . .
" And yet," replies the blind girl,
" that evolution has taken place in
my world. What others learn from
life I have learnt from the books that
are my sphere."
"That is true," says Mrs. Macy,
who is following our conversation.
"There is nothing that Helen does
139
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
not know; I have never hidden any-
thing from her; besides, she is too
clear-sighted for it to have been
possible."
" Then I may safely ask her what
she thinks of love and happiness?"
" Oh, certainly ! " replies Mrs. Macy.
" She has thought a great deal of the
love and happiness of women."
And she at once communicates my
question to Helen.
Helen remains impassive and says,
slowly :
" All real love is precious."
But I insist :
" I am not speaking of love in
general, Helen."
Then I see a soft light of resigna-
140.
THE BLUE BIRD
tion pass over her face ; and, in a
serious tone, she says:
"What woman has not longed for
love? But ... I think it is for-
bidden me, like music and light. ..."
I look at the blind girl. She sighs
and lowers her lids as though her
eyes might betray her. I see her
youth and the glow of health in her
cheeks ; a dull rebellion stirs me ; and,
with my natural inclination for sym-
pathy, I feel a need to depreciate
the too-delicious joys which a bar-
barous injustice seems to deny her :
"Ah, you could be loved, Helen,
you could, 1 am sure of it ; but I
do not know that you ought to wish
it. You would not have done what
141
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
you have done, if you had known
love 1 You do not know how danger-
ous it is, how it makes us live on
mountain - peaks in the midst of
abysses. We are close to the sky,
but we turn giddy ; and all the illu-
sions of space assail us ; and the too-
bright light burns us ; and we are lost,
if we do not contrive, by a sort of
contradictory will, to draw a new
force from the very heart of total
surrender. . . . No, do not regret
love. It is the enemy of our intelli-
gence, of our strength and even of
our worth. You see, Helen, between
two intelligent people, experience of
love, though it be favourable to the
man, may be fatal to the woman.
142
THE BLUE BIRD
Whereas the man becomes stronger
by a love which his nature orders and
measures, the woman is lost in a
sentiment that submerges her. . . ."
I could have added that, to my
mind, it is better to contribute to the
happiness and accomplishment of a
being than slightly to raise our small
stature ; I could have told her that
life is very ephemeral, that values are
very relative and glories very illusive ;
but I was delighted, on the contrary,
not to be seen or heard, for the
sound of my voice would have belied
the rigour of my words ; and, in spite
of myself, I felt that my mouth, as
it curved into a smile, clothed them
in a light that transfigured them.
143
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
And yet I was not lying, dear Helen !
We all know that our truest senti-
ment becomes modified according as
we discover it on one side or another
and that, when sincerity, like limpid
water, penetrates most deeply into
our soul, it is then that we feel our-
selves to be in a perpetual contra-
diction.
" I divine," said the blind girl, " all
the sorrows contained in the joys of
love. There is nothing that I do
not know of the sufferings of the
world."
Here is Helen speaking again, with
some bitterness, of the suffering of
the world.
" But where are you, Helen, to
144
Photo Whitman
teller
in her Llnioerslty \=/oion
THE BLUE BIRD
talk like this? In what mysterious
country do you dwell ? You do not
suffer, do you ? "
She smiled and reflected. Then she
said :
"Happiness is like the mountain-
summit. It is sometimes hidden by
clouds, but we know that it is there."
"Is it always there, Helen?"
"When we wish it, because it de-
pends upon our state of mind."
" And have you the strength always
to wish it ? "
" No." And, shrugging her shoulders
a little cynically, she added, "Am I
not a woman ? I weep as much as
the others, but I believe it to be good
for the soil, like rain. All my visions
Helen Keller
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
are born of love and poetry ; and . .
and those flowers cannot bloom with-
out tears."
Helen almost always expresses her-
self thus, in images and symbols ; one
feels that she is wonderfully sensitive
to the music of words and to rhythm,
that mysterious force which governs
the truest essential beauty. Is it not
the sense of art that has been largely
instrumental in saving her ? Is it not
this precious gift which bestows an
unwearying curiosity upon her and
attaches her to life in spite of all
things? Helen possesses the imagina-
tion of a poet to whom reality, how-
ever admirable it may be, is never
more than a starting-point . . . and
146
THE BLUB BIRD
we may well ask ourselves if she
would not be disappointed were she
suddenly to behold a world which
her mind has clothed in the most
glittering enchantment. . . .
After a moment's thought, Helen
resumes :
" I should like one day to have
the power to express man's prayer to
the light ! "
And, as she speaks these words, a
charming smile irradiates her features.
" Helen, you shall utter that prayer
which you already live, you shall utter
it, for you dwell in a transparent
night, whereas our ever-straying senses
turn a bright sky into a cloud-darkened
day. If you but knew how few things
147
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
we see, how badly we hear and how
incompletely ! "
" Are not our senses the servants
of our mind ? "
" They ought to be, but they divide
and scatter our forces by bringing us
too much ; our consciousness involun-
tarily and at every moment registers
a thousand useless things ; and that
is why it advises us to flee the world
if we would work and think. We
do not live intensely unless we know
how to close our lives to the outer
world. It may be love that keeps us
between two flowering hedges, check-
ing our aspirations as they mount to
heaven; it may be that work and a
single idea imprison us ; it may be
148
THE BLUE BIRD
that a dream envelops us, an aim
fascinates us or our will erects its
iron barrier between us and fancy :
our strength grows only in isolation.
Our notion of infinity begins where
sound and shape die. To you, infinity
is here, in the breeze that cools your
brow, in the perfume which, however
subtle, remains, annihilating the years,
burying the past ; infinity is here, in
the hand that presses yours. ..."
For the last few minutes, Helen,
a little tired of reading on my lips,
had been listening and replying
through the mind of her faithful
companion. Suddenly she asked me :
" Have you a religion ? " And she
added, "I believe in God."
149
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
I remember greatly admiring Anne
Sullivan's account of the intellectual
development of her pupil. After
recognizing Helen's sane mind and
enlightened judgment, she writes :
"No creed or dogma has been taught to
Helen ; nor has any effort been made to
force religious beliefs on her attention."
Helen's religion lies especially in
self-abnegation and love for others ;
and it is thus that she believes herself
to have found happiness :
"As the world is in ourselves,"
she said, " happiness is not outside
us ; it is not a thing which we can
attain ; if we seek it, we do not
find it. . . ."
150
THE BLUE BIRD
" You are right, Helen ; and that
is why we ought not to be surprised
to see so many creatures who have
everything to make them happy and
who are not happy. What is the use
of possessing the elements of happiness
if we have not in ourselves the essential
energy that builds it up patiently
and maintains it in spite of all ? But
in you this energy, so rare in any case,
becomes heroic. ..."
With a gesture expressing gentle
denial, Helen replied :
" I don't know."
And, after a pause, she continued,
gravely :
"To find one's life, one must first
lose it. Mine was lost a thousand
151
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
times ; I could not recover the half
of it."
One might well think upon this
maxim, which teaches us one of the
great secrets of our moral force. It
increases in proportion as we expend
it. Ask little of it ; and we have
nothing. Be insatiable; and it becomes
inexhaustible.
I was eager to ask her the question
that was burning my lips :
" Then you are happy ? "
Helen was just then bending over
the hand of Mrs. Macy, who com-
municated the question to her. She
drew herself up proudly :
" If I were not happy, my life
would be a failure. I am very happy."
152
THE BLUE BIRD
'Can I in all truth, Helen, hold
you up as an example to your distant
sisters and call you * The Girl who
found the Blue Bird ' ? "
The white peace of the cottage at
Wrentham seemed to fly into a
thousand splinters like a pane of
glass suddenly smashed by a volley
of stones. Helen was screaming
with delight; she had sprung up
quickly and, walking across the
room, uttered notes that sought to
strike the joyous pitch of a song of
gladness :
"Yes, yes, it's true!" she shouted.
" I have found the Blue Bird ! I have
found the Blue Bird ! "
And in her excitement she pressed
153
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
her hands to her forehead, clasped
them convulsively in a triumphant
prayer and unclasped them to seize
hold of mine.
154
^ I ^HE sound of that captive happi-
ness will ring in my ears all
my life long. Even now, when I am
speaking of the heroine, it floods my
memories with the impetuosity of
a torrent that tears away everything
on its passage ; and the miracle of
Helen's life will always have two
aspects in my eyes. It is a miracle
of patience no less than of passion.
Her life seems to me a sublime
lesson ; and can we describe her as
155
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
abnormal when we see her wandering
in a world where so many mysteries
dwell ? Between her and us, space
no longer exists, if we think of the
space that stretches from the known
to the unknown.
And can we say that her destiny
is incomplete? Helen is the example
necessary to our day, the glorification
of effort, intelligence and strength,
the sanctification of continuous and
hidden heroism. She is a primitive
saint and a saint of to-morrow! She
is the archangel of the victories that
are eternal and of the virtues that do
not change with moral systems or
with peoples.
Be happy, Helen, and be free, for
156
THE BLUE BIRD
you have proved that there is no real
prison save in mediocrity, that the
darkness which has no ending is the
darkness of the mind and that mortal
silence reigns only in loveless hearts.
But listen to me : I would crave
of you one thing. Since you possess
every heroic quality, we need not
hesitate to wish you a crowning one.
Deprived of sight, of hearing and of
speech, you have been able to create
afresh light, harmony and language ;
you know what we see, you know
what we hear, you know how to
communicate with us. Cease to
astonish us: you have joined us,
you wished it and you have
succeeded. Henceforth forsake this
157
THE GIRL WHO FOUND
world, which you have heroically
conquered, and lead us into regions
that are closed to us. Tell us the
secret of your wisdom and your light.
By the science of touch and smell,
you have revealed to us a kingdom
which we knew imperfectly ; there is
another, Helen, which we do not
know at all : it is the world of
eternal darkness and silence. All the
sighs of life heave and throb in our
solitude. We know darkness and
silence only that we may seek repose
there or savour in them the profound
joys that dread light and sound. To
us, shade and quietness are refuges
to which we resort with eyes glutted
with light, ears filled with harmony.
158
THE BLUE BIRD
Tell us what voices charmed your
tomb, what stars lighted it. Analyze
for us the spring of a power which
we cannot conceive.
Helen, wonderful Helen, you who
have surpassed us in strength and
wisdom, tell us by what golden gate
we may join you in our turn!
THE END
159
Ube Grcsbam press
UN WIN BROTHERS, LIMITED
WOKING AND LONDON
UC SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY
A 000 901 412 7
