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Richard B. T. Roberts '32 

Thomas C. Roberts '21 
Walter van B. Roberts '15 



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HAGAR REVELLY 



By 

DANIEL CARSON GOODMAN 

Author of "Unclothed" 



NEW YORK 

MITCHELL KENNEELEY 

IQIS 



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Copyright, 1918, by 
Mitchell Keimerley 



,5588 
,^42 



(RECAP) 



=d by Google 



To 

MY MOTHER 

who has ever been to me the fiiend . . , 

steadfiut, enduring, self-sacrificing. 



DiailizodbvCoOgle. 



The regulator of the world it dettiny . . . 
— Remy de Gourmont, 



DolizodbvCoOglc 



CHAPTER I 

EuAx RsTEiXT and his wife bad quarrelled for quite 
half of their twenty years together. This quarrel was 
apparently much like the others. 

His wife and the two daughters, Hagar and Thatah, 
sat at the breakfast table, as he backed in from the 
kitchen. His short, thick figure was trembling with 
temper, the beads of perspiration, like little pearls, stood 
out upon the bald part of his head. 

" Fanny is disrespectful again. For a servant, a 
blockhead, a piece of animal flesh without brains, to an- 
swer me in this manner is — is — " he stumbled on the 
word, and then, noticing the look of disgust and toler- 
ance on his wife's face, and on the face of the younger 
daughter, Hagar, he controlled himself and took the re- 
maining vacant chair. 

As if he felt the necessity for further words, he asked 
nervously : " What have we to eat ? '* He took a hand- 
kerchief from his sleeve and energetically mopped his 
reddened face, adding, " I get so nervous. I can't con- 
trol myself." 

The only answer that came to him was a laugh from 
Hagar. The chUd was always amused when her father 
spoke under temper, for his habit of rolling the r's hod 
never left him. But further aggravation from Hagar 
was suppressed by her face being buried in a napkin. 

After a moment, Mrs. Revelly broke in. Not very 
courageously, she said : " Hagar, show your father 
some respect." 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



t Hagar RevHly 

Tbey went on with their meaL Eman Rerelly aat 
stolidly in his chair, not eating, the while he serrously 
fingered the blue table cloth. 

Suddenly his face reddened to a higher color, he put 
his fingers to his moustache, irrelevantly turning the 
ends, and at last with great emotion, when it seemed that 
everyone else was wrought up to his pitch of excitement, 
he spoke. 

" Gott, I can't stand this, I tell you. What is it here? 
Am I a stranger in my own house P" He turned to 
Thatah, the older daughter. "You see," he went on; 
" they sit there, silently, as if I were a stranger." 

" Father," begged Thatah. 

Her beseeching tone only brought added argument, 
" No, Thatah, it is of no use. I have noticed them for 
a long time. I've only not said anything." 

Turning upon bis wife, who was with precision dipping 
her spoon into an egg cup, he shouted again : 

*' Am I a stranger in my own house? " 

Mrs. Revelly remained sUent, shrinking from his angry 
words by bowing her head a little more and drawing to- 
gether her shoulders. 

He flashed, even more angrily : ** Tell me." 

At last she looked up at him. 

"Oh, Eman, are we to have another scene?" Then, 
turning to Hagar, she said quietly. " Hagar, dear, 
ring for some more coffee." 

Her manner, nonchalant, disdainful, whimsical, thougli 
done by a forced effort, only aroused Revelly to greater 
fury. He asked why it was that after many requests, 
Fanny should disregardedly come tramping into the 
bouse long past midnight, disturbing him and unfitting 
him for rehearsal the next day. 

" Listen," he said, as he pointed toward his wife, his 
anger most visible upon his queer, squinting face. ** I 



'Bagar ReveUy 3 

want you to have her in this house every night, at no 
later than ten-thirty." 

Revelly turned to his food for the first time. In his 
manner waa the apparent tmderstanding that nothing 
more remained to be said. But Mrs. Revelly surprised 
him by replying: "Eman, Fanny will come in — when 
she pleases." 

This indifference and reply gave the musician a new 
shock. He turned pale, his hands trembled, as his mind 
searched for an answer; while the listening Fanny, in 
emphasis of the secret understanding that existed be- 
tween her mistress and herself, gave a laugh that re- 
sounded throu^ the open door and flaunted its insolence 
into his face. 

For a moment Revelly glared at his wife, then he broke 
out furiously. " It's a shame that a characterless 
wtHnan like that servant should have a jdace in my 
house." 

The vehemence in his manner and voice startled afresh 
the three grouped at the table; thou^ he immediately 
quieted down and showed a sign of regret, more to 
Thatah than anyone else, by mumbling: " I spoke has- 
tily. Let us eat." lie noisy staccato that his knife 
played upon the saucer of his coffee cup, betrayed the 
temper that was surging through him. 

For a time it seemed that a lull had come in the storm 
of this quarrel-ridden family, Thatah went on eating, 
her face remaining changeless, thou^ seemingly ex- 
pectant of the outburst which she knew by long experi- 
ence would sooD come from her mother's lips; while the 
fifteen-year-old Hagar, not quite understanding the 
strange words of her father, sat up, more interested, 
with her brown eyes wide open and her lips apart. She 
even feared her mother had been silenced. 



'4 Hagar RneUt/ 

summated feeling of rebellion, stifled from his first words, 
came angrUy from her. 

** Eman, you show how low and common jou are. It 
proves to Hagar what I have long ago told her." 

Arising from her chair, she went into the narrow hall 
that separated the bedroom from the dining room and 
kitchen. 

The musician quickly followed her. 

** You have hinted that before," he exclaimed, as he 
reached her side. " Now, tell me what you mean ! " 

She looked at him steadily, even fearlessly for an in- 
stant. Then she burst out : " You are a common man, 
Eman, and I hate you." 

" Remember what you are saying," he interrupted, 
grasping her arm, as if to awaken her to more caution. 

But now she continued defiantly : " Oh, I know what 
I'm saying. Yes, I know. The quarrels and bickering 
have gone on for too many years as it is. Eman, I'm 
tired of it. I'm tired of it whether you are or not. And 
you don't have to blame Fanny for it either." 

"Kena, what are you saying?" 

She continued, though more slowly now. " I mean 
what I say, Eman; it was I who came in at midni^t, 
last nig^t." 

"You!" 

" Yes." 

His anger had changed into apprehension. 

"What were you doing — out — RenaP For God's 
sake, what do you mean?" 

At first Mrs. Revelly started to answer him directly. 
Then she choked off the words nearly formed. " Oh, I 
just got sick of the stuffy room. I went over to the 
park. That's all." 

Revelly was too much astonished to comprehend. For 
a moment he could only regard her with an expression 



Bagar RevtUy 5 

full of bewildennent. After a time he said, as he studied 
her : " Rena, I can't understand ;ou. Are you play- 
ing with me? What is the matter? Why do you de- 
liberately allow me to get in this state, then, without giv- 
ing me some word that would right it? Oh, I can't make 
you out." 

There was a smile half defiant, half tender, on Mrs. 
Revelly's face as she answered him. 

" Well, Eman, there isn't so much to make out. It's 
only that I'm sick of it, sick of everything — the com- 
mon way we live — of you, the house, this neighborhood." 
She seemed roused again. " Yes, I am just so sick of 
it, I can't stand it. 1 can't look at you any more, either. 
Oh, I wish — I wish — you'd leave me, get a divorce, 
anjrthing. I can't go on the way it is." 

Revelly's hands dropped to his side. Often before, in 
the twenty years of their married life, she had puzzled 
him by her queer efforts at refinement and elegance 
' amidst their squalor. Often indeed, she had shown him 
that she felt a distinct barrier of breeding separated 
tliem. By looks and gesture she had many times con- 
veyed to him the understanding that she felt herself su- 
perior to him and her environment. Through all their 
years of strife and quarrels, he had noticed this in many 
ways, yet never before had she so directly worded this 
feeling. 

The musician was indeed unnerved. His hands shook 
as he glared at her, his lips trembled as he tried to 
speak, while through his thoughts was running again and 
again, " Mein unglUck — mein ungliick." 

For a full minute they stood motionless. The tension 
was at last ended by the woman suddenly going into her 
bedroom and the husband returning to the breakfast 
table. 

DiailizodbvGoOglc 



CHAPTER n 

Mas. RsvELLT had not been in her room for very long 
before she became overwbehned by the situation. 

And then realizing for perhaps the first time, what 
might happen from her hasty words, she rushed back to 
Fanny in the kitchen and with imploring Toice, which 
surprised the fat servant, begged her to go into the din* 
ing room and send Eman to her. 

Like a child who awaited punishment, Mrs. ReveOy 
stole back to the bedroom and waited. 

In those few minutes she caught an impression, em- 
phatic and strong, full of detail — her first few years 
with Eman, the prospect she had dreamed of, that had 
never come true — the total failure of her union with 
this weak-minded musician-husband. 

As she sat rocking in the chair, she saw her own face 
again, very beautiful, as people had told her, when she 
was young. The time of Thatah's birth came before 
her. She was in bed — dreaming, full of confidence in 
the oncoming period of expectancy — langourously 
dreaming of blue skies and mysterious forests, ready 
for the gypsy-like passage with her lover along the 
mountain highway, soothed hy the music of nicldng 
goats and the muiSed echo of waterfalls. 

And she remembered how she had awakened soon after 
with amazement, to find that her lover husband, with 
whom she had shared the deep shaded ravines, was not 
the curly, black-haired Apollo, but a little German stu- 
dent, with hesitating manners and a bald head. 

Eman was in the doorway now, with Thatah at his 

L ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



Hagar Rmelly T 

back. From the look in his grey eyes she knew his anger 
had not abated. 

" You have seat for me," he said, coldly. 

She looked up at him, hardly aroused from the con- 
templation of her past: "Yes, Eman — Fve sent fov 
you." 

He said steadily: "Well, what is it?" 

"I — I wanted to talk over, Eman, what I — " 

He interrupted her. '* There is nothing to talk over. 
You've told me the truth. You don't care any more. 
You haven't for a long while." 

For a full minute he paused. Then his words came 
mingled with anguish and self-pity. 

" You think it is nothing. You don't see what a time 
/ have had of it, struggling from morning to night with 
the orchestra and the pupils, my heart torn to pieces by 
such rotten drudgery." 

His short stocky figure trembled, while Thatah, who 
had been standing by in the hallway, came into the room 
murmuring, " Oh, father, please, please ■ — ^" 

But he went on resolutely. " You've never realized 
that you might have combined with me. You have never 
given a thought to the fact that I was quenching all 
my ambitions just to support you. No, a woman like 
you never thinks of that. Have you ever prayed for my 
happiness? I ask you that, have you?" He gazed at 
her pityingly. " Oh, if you only understood," he cried. 

Then his voice died down. " Always telling me what 
you are giving up, what you might have had. Yes, it' 
isn't the slip you made that has decided me. It's your 
attitude; it has become more intense with each day that 
has passed since the time I was compelled to take pupQs 
and give up concert work. 

" Yes, as long as you had dreams and thought there 
waa a possiUe chance of my becoming known and making 



8 'Hagar ReveUjf 

money, you stayed by me. But ever since that possi- 
bility has passed away, you've lost till interest in me or 
my work." 

He walked over and sat in a chair by the window. 

" Why, every time I've looked at you," he wrait on, 
" the feeling has gnawed at my heart that you gloried 
in the fact that things were not going well. I know. 
Other women in your position take a pleasure in sewing 
or mending. They want to be of some help ; with you — 
it is always Fanny — Fanny this, Fanny that — isn't it 
true? Yesterday my socks weren't mates; but could I 
tell my wife? You don't take any pains about the house 
— always Fanny. The meals are terrible, always the 
same — warmed-over bread, tough dry meats. Yes, you 
don't care. That's it — you don't care . . . And 
I have always given in to you. First, it was too much 
music for you; then I must even give up Catholicism to 
please you. 

" Oh, I've watched you. You decided that since I was 
unhappy it was of no use for you to be so, and you've 
gradually gone on with this reasoning until you actually 
have come to feel yourself a thing apart from our 
troubles. It's been all wrong from the beginning. You 
have no understanding of me. And it has made me suf- 
fer, I tell you, sulFer deeply a long while ago." 

As he went on there came the words that made her 
clutch at the arm of her chair for support. 

" 111 get you a lawyer," he said. " We will live sep- 
arately. Thatab will come with me and you will take 
Hagar." 

Mrs. Revelly mi^t have been able to persuade herself 
that what she needed was firmness, or she might have 
thought that a few soft words would repair the situa- 
tion. But when she perceived his deep, throbbing 
anguish and heard him pass sentence on her, something 



Hagar ReveUy 9 

filled her throat and stopped her breathing and her eyes 
became moist vith tears. 

It was so plain hov he hated her. She had suspected 
it for months, had noticed it in his treatment of Hagar, 
in his sullen greetings in the morning. But now it was 
a truth and not a suspicion. Every prop had been torn 
away from her. She was to be left alone, with Hagar! 

Revellj arose from his chair and walked into the hall. 

" £man," she cried after him, " for Heaven's sake 
think of Hagar. She is not to blame." 

With the thought that he could not be so cruel with 
her touch on his arm, she went nearer to him. And it 
was with some satisfaction that she saw him hesitate. 
The tension in his face seemed lessened, the cruelty 
seemed to have passed from his eyes and she thought she 
had really aroused his pity. Immediately all her 
strength was used to calm him. She began pleading, 
begging, beseeching him to consider more deeply the po- 
sition into which she would be thrown should he take thia 
final step. 

" Why, it is even wrong for you to talk like this* 
Eman," she argued. ** You must think of Hagar. I 
don't care what you do with me, but you still have an 
obligation to the child, Eman." 

Not knowing how she exasperated him whenever she 
assumed this rdle of meekness, she looked up into his 
face, even more ardently imploring and submissive. 
Ignorantly she thought this would be the only manner 
of holding him. 

But he listened to her words with gathering impa- 
tience. When she had finished, he said : " We have 
gone over the entire situation, Rena, and I cannot see 
that anything can be gained by talking about it. It 
wouldn't be long before everything would be just as bad 
again. No, it is best that we part." 

I ,i,z<,i:,., Google 



10 Hagar Reoeay 

TokiDg Thfttah b; the arm he pushed her ahead of 
him through the doorway. 

Mrs. Revellj was overcome. She waited untQ she saw 
them turn at the head of the hall. Then she moved rest- 
lessly from the door to her dressing table, brushed some 
powder over her throat and cheeks, and again over to 
the window; walking back and forth with tears brim- 
ming over onto her haggard face and moans of despair 
escaping from her lips. 

Sudd^y Hagar burst in tm her, crying: 

** Oh, mother, be wu cruel to you again, wasnt he? " 

Mrs. Bevelly silently took the girl in ber arms and 
hugged her. Their faces were close together and the 
great tears that welled into both their eyes, mingled and 
ran down the mother's cheeks. 

** Dear baby, you are another one of me," she whis- 
pered into the girl's ears. " I only pray that you will 
have an easier lot," 

The child was perplexed. 

** Why, what's the matter, mother? " she asked. 
•* Isn't everything all right now? '* 

The mother turned away. **0h, you poor kiddie," 
she moaned. 

'*But isn't everything all right now?" persisted the 
child. '* Isn't it, mother? I thou^t he was only mean 
again." 

Mrs. Revelly sank down on the edge of her bed, sigh- 
ing : " Oh, you don't understand, Hagar." 

" Oh, yes, I do, I listened to everything, and I am ao 
sorry you are unhappy, mother dear." 

Leaning over her, the girl threw ber arms about her 
mother's neck and kissed her very delicately once or 
twice. Then, framing the wcnnan's sad face with her 
little hands, she said: 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar ReveUjf 11 

** IsnH ererything all ri^t? You mast tell me, 
mother.** 

** Please, dearie, don't — " be^ed the woman. 

And Hagar, after regarding her mother for some time, 
exclaimed perplexedly : " Oh, you're so funny, mother. 
I 6tm*t understand you.** 



DiailizodbvGoOglf 



CHAPTER in 

Thb essential part of Mrs. Revellj's make-up was a He- 
sire to live true to her impulses, and id Hagar this qual- 
ity was now acting in its first guise. It made of her a 
dreamer, p quaint child of nature, and gave to her no 
understanding except that which came through her emo- 
tions and impulses. 

Having left school at the age of twelve, for no appar- 
ent reason other tlian that of disinclination on her part, 
and lack of control on the part of her mother, her little 
mind dealt only in simple material. She became a wan- 
dering, romantic, open-ejed little person, whose chief 
characteristic was an inordinate sense of affection for 
those whom she loved. 

Hagar had many queer little ways. When the soft, 
low call of wintry winds came down frotfi the north, she 
would stand by the window and gaze out, her mind 
wrapped in conjecture, her heart's spirit taking wing 
with the cold blast. Wandering with it, she would listen 
to its bluster and fury, and again to its quieting rhythm, 
as if she were the traveller instead of the tiny white flakes 
of snow outside the frosted panes — as if the storm and 
the wind were her express train to some unknown magical 
land. 

When the summers came, and the sunlight was warm 
and the shadows mysterious, she would look out of the 
window, with her eyes staring, her mind yearning and 
dreaming, as the seductive warmth penetrated into every 
fibre of her body. At these times her mind would carry 
her off on the enticing breezes to some new land, a little 

" ,, Coo^^lc 



Hagar AnwOy IS 

dream-isle, where everything was goMen-colored and 
sweet-scented. 

And now, thou^ the quarrel between her parents 
rather bewildered her, etill she took a keen interest in the 
dissolution of their household, all that day wandering 
about the house, watching and noting the changes that 
had taken place. She observed, with almost pleasurable 
curiosity, her mother's semi-hysteria and the sad, sub- 
missive expression on Tbatah's countenance. Only 
gradually, the strange action of the family brought home 
to her the really serious aspect of what had happened. 
£ar]y in the afternoon, when she met Thatah in the hall- 
way and dropped into the broad seat of the hat rack, 
thinking her sister would stop for a word with her, Tha- 
tah passed on, never lifting her saddened eyes. And 
again, when she met her father, he seemed too preoc- 
cupied even to notice her. 

All this began to bother her considerably, though 
strangely she felt no grief. It was more a feeling of in- 
terest that stirred her, and only the idea that she was 
neither taking part in the family tragedy, nor feeling it, 
seemed to trouble her. 

It made her feel somewhat ashamed and guilty when 
she saw Thatah so sad. Once, she stopped in front of 
the mirror and tried to cry, in an effort to take her share 
of the unhappiness. It was of no use. Something new 
was happening and she could only feel queerly pleased. 

But toward evening the gloom of the house and her 
loneliness commenced to take hold of her mood and she 
really became immeasurably sad. 

When the dusk had already settled, she went into her 
own little room and closed the door. In this manner she 
thought she would shut out the silence, which had grad- 
ually become intolerable. Fanny called her at supper 
time, but she would not go. Sittinir mutely by the win- 



14 Hagar Hevdly 

dow, ihe saw the stars come out, and then the dim moon. 
, Looking out into the darkness, Hagar began to think, 
for quite the first time, of the reason for all the trouble. 
She thought of her father and she wondered why it wa« 
that Thatah was unkiod to her. She felt that she liked 
Thatab well enou^ She thought she would have liked 
to saj to Thatah : " Thatah, why is it we don't get 
along together? Why do yon avoid me and look so 
funny when I talk to you?" 

Until a big clock in the distance struck two, Hagar 
sat at the window childishly wondering what would be the 
outcome of the whole affair. Her mind seemed to be 
whirling about, and as she looked into darkness the trees 
and lamp-posts seemed to take on all sorts of grotesque 
shapes. 

She became even a little frightened, but would not 
stop from brooding. There seemed so much that needed 
solution, so much to think about And then, too, al- 
thou^ she had twice lain down on her bed, as much to 
find a refuge from the gruesomeness of the ni^t as for 
rest's sake, she could not sleep. 

" I can't stand it," she exclaimed, suddenly pulling 
idown the blind. There was already peeping up from the 
eastern sky a faint suggestion of dawn. 

So, silent and stiff, Hagar rose and stole to ThataVs 
door. 

Though she did not at all mean to do this, she found 
herself knocking ligbUy. Inmiediately she began to wish 
that Thatah had not heard, and her hand, as it lay on 
the door knob, was cold and trembling. 

But Thatah's voice inquired: **Who is it?" 

** It's me — Hagar," the child answered shakily. 

" What do you want? " 

** Let me in, Thatah, I want to see you." 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar RrotUy IS 

How she wished she had not knocked! Surdj, how- 
ever, after all the quarrels, Tbatah would not let her in. 

But Thatah replied: "Wait a minute, Hagar; the 
door is locked." 

Hagar heard the bare feet come across the floor and 
the sound of the turning key. Then — ** Come in, 
Hagar." 

She went in. Thatah was back in bed. By her side 
was a lamp turned quite high and an opened book lay on 
the little stand by her side. 

"What's the matter?" asked Thatah. 

Her light hair hung in profusion about her shoulders. 
Her face was pale. But she appeared very kind and 
somehow Hagar felt a desire to cry, and explain how 
lonesome she was and how scared she felt sitting by the 
window. 

" Oh, sister, I don't know what's the matter. Why is 
everything so awful?" 

" You think everything is awful, Hagar," replied Tha- 
tah, studying the soft face. ** I didn't know jou felt it 
so much." 

" Oh, I don't know," answered Hagar vaguely. " But 
I do feel terribly unhappy. I never felt so nervous and 
funny before. Why does all this trouble have to come, 
Thatah P" 

" Because our parents are unhappy together, I sup- 
pose." 

Hagar gave an impetuous toss of her head that 
brought the heavy black hair around to her breasts. 

" Oh, they oughtn't to do it now, anyway," she ex- 
claimed. " It's father's fault. Why doesn't he be dif- 
ferent? He's so queer and acts so funny." She looked 
at Thatah with wide open eyes. " You know that every- 
body says he's so wrapped up in his work that he neg- 
DoiizodbvCoogle 



16 Hagar ReveUy 

leota mother. How, what will they aa;? And theot I 
was to have gone to a dance to-night." 

Thatah smiled. " Can't you go some other night, 
dearie? " 

" Oh, it isn't that." Hagar rose and walked acrosa 
the room. 

After a moment ahe aat down again on the edge of the 
bed. 

" You know that father has been mean to mother. I 
have seen him twice strike her. You know that, too. I 
guess father is crfczy the way everybody says." 

Thatah searched the round, white face, asking herself 
again and again if she should explain the situation to 
Hagar. Then she decided. 

" Hagar," she began, " mother is a queer woman. I 
know this better than you ; and she's selfish, too — and 
afraid of growing old. Father's different — he's 
worked hard. His ambition was to become a famous mu- 
sician. Why, he might have," she looked up with her 
eyes wide awake, " if he hadn't been compelled to support 
us. You see, mother doesn't think of this. She never 
thinks he is really a great man. Mother only believes 
what other people say about him. 

"Have you ever heard him play when he was alone?" 
she asked, more quietly. " I have, and that's the reason 
I know just how he feels. His music cries, Hagar, be- 
cause when he plays it is the only time he expresses his 
real feelings. Oh, you don't know how wonderful he is ! " 

"Oh, Thatah!" the younger girl cried, astonished. 

So, Thatah was unhappy, too — calm, superior Tha- 
tah. Hagar noticed how nervously her sister brushed 
back the hair that hung over her eyes, how her thin 
fingers clutched intermittently at the roll in the sheet. 
She was more struck at her sister's vehemence than by 
what her sister said. ,-- i 



Sagar ReveUy IT 

For some time the; sat in silence. 

Then Hagar spoke. " Well, perhaps that's all true," 
she said restlesslj. ** But I know it's father's fault this 
time." 

" It is mother's fault, Hagar," Thatah answered 
quickly. " She doesn't think,' nor care." 

" You mean that mother is the one that is causing all 
this trouble?" 

" Yes, Hagar." 

" Oh, I just can't understand ;ou at all." 

Thatah took hold of the child's daintj little hands and 
held them out in front of her, as if comparing them with 
her own. 

At last she said softl; : " I guess I must tell you, 
Hagar." She hesitated, then went on slowly. " Well, 
mother does not love him. She loves some one else." 

"Why, ThaUh!" gasped Hagar. 

" Think, dearie," whispered Thatah. 

Then Hagar started, as if given a new understanding. 
"Oh, you mean Mr. Nealy, don't you? Oh, no," she 
cried on, emphatically. ** You are mistaken, Thatah. 
He is as fond of me as he is of mother. I know that." 

" Dearie, you don't know everything," replied Thatah, 
grasping her sister's hands again. 

** Well, I know enough." 

Hagar was stretched alongside of Thatah now, with 
her hands under her head and her face to the ceiling, hut 
when Thatah said that the mother was tired of their pov- 
erty and wanted to look pretty for Mr. Nealy, she sat 
upright, determined upon making an answer which would 
convince Thatah that she was in the wrong. She tried 
to arrange her thoughts so that she could strike on some 
incident, or occurrence, which could prove this. Then 
she thrust out: 



i:,.,C00gl 



you 



18 Hagar RtoeUy 

don't. That*8 why you say these things about mother. 
It's because you know it hurts me when you speak of her 
that way. Well, it's not my fauft that people think I 
am pretty, or take me out. If you'd take better care of 
your clothes and be more agreeable, they'd ask you too. 
You're jealous of me. That's the reason. Oh, mother 
has told me." 

Thatah's ire was only slightly aroused by Hagar*s out- 
burst. 

" Hagar, you don't know. And it's no use for us to 
quarrel. I am really happy when I see you happy. 
Then, I don't get fun out of the things you do. I guess 
that's the whole thing. Anyway, I couldn't go out and 
leave father alone all the time." 

" But why doesn't he go with mother? " Hagar inter- 
rupted. " She would be lonesome, too, if she was aa 
foolish as he is." 

With a sudden determination to explain away the en- 
tire situation, Thatah sat upright in bed. For only an 
instant she faltered, wondering if she was doing right by 
exposing the secret which had so long rankled within 
her. 

" I am going to tell you straight, Hagar," she began, 
her eyes blazing, her hands clenched tightly together. 
" Yes, I am going to tell you, tell you what everyone 
knows. Only they don't tell you, because you are too 
young. I guess I wouldn't tell you myself but that it is 
all over now. I've gone to mother and begged and 
begged her, but it's never been of any use. Sometimes, 
I wanted to tell father but I didn't dare. 

"Well, I've watched them go out together, Hagar. 
Yes, mother and Mr. Nealy. I've seen her come in late 
at night with rouge on her lips and black plaster on her 
cheeks." 

Thatah could not control herself. She vent on, tdl- 



Hagar RmeUy 19 

iDg all the things of which Hagar had been so igno- 
rant. 

" You are pretty, Hagar, and ereryone loves you. I 
Imow they don't care for me, because I am silent and 
don't go a lot with them. But Vm not jealous of you. 
All along I've only wanted somebody to tell things to. 
Don't you think I've suffered when I didn't have anyone 
to confide in? Why, I've worried about myself, too, and 
have wondered a lot of times, why it was that I was so 
different. I suppose it is because I am the only one who 
knows about the real cause of this trouble. And yet, 
even at that, I always blame myself for being the way I 
am. Yes, I blame myself and never have anyone to teU 
me that I'm wrong." 

She continued earnestly: 

" Look at my hands. Look how thin they are. Fm 
not yet twenty and yet I look lots older, and people think 
I'm queer like father." She appeared to be talking more 
to herself. " And all the time I've been wanting and 
begging for some one to whom I could tell the real cause 
of my being that way. Yes, mother knows why I am so 
unhappy, but she only thinks of herself." 

As Thatah went on she forgot Hagar's presence en- 
tirely and that of her mother in the next room. Talk- 
ing spontaneously, she let out the words that had been 
stored and accumulated. 

" I couldn't tell father. So it has become as if I was 
choking down a secret that some day would be bigger 
than I could hold. Sometimes I wanted him to know it. 
But I would see him coming home at night tired and 
worried. So I would go on to the next time, choking it 
down." 

" You don't mean that mother is a bad woman, do you, 
Thatah? " Hagar asked. 

** Yes, sister," came the rdoctant answer. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



90 Hagar ReveUy 

Hagar rose quickly now from where she had seated 
herself. 

" Oh, I've had enough of this," she burst out angrily. 
" You're lying — you're lying — and I won't talk to 
you." 

Hagar ran from the room, and on reaching her own 
bed, buried her head deep in the pillows. Her heart 
ached bitterly. Thatah was abusing her mother. How 
Thatah had talked. What lies she had told about her 
mother and about her. She would never believe them, 
Mr. Nealy was an old friend. He only took her mother 
out walking and saw her so often because he felt sorry 
for her, sorry for the way her father neglected her. 
Then, hadn't she heard her father say often enough that 
he had no time ** to waste " on going outP 

Hagar thought on deeply, asking herself again and 
again if there could be some chance that Thatah was 
right. Over the entire ground she fought her way, bat- 
tling against the accusation, point by point, endeavoring 
to convince herself of its absolute untruth. 

And then, gradually, in one way or another, she became 
bewildered, one minute being absolutely sure of her con- 
victions and the next confronted by some shadow of 
doubt, which would not let her rest. 

At last, she saw that she must confront her mother for 
a solution, telling herself that it was only because the 
mother would show how wrong Thatah was. 

She was hardly past the door when she became greatly 
frightened. Her mother was lying, face buried in the 
pillows, struggling to overcome the emotions that had 
attacked her mind and body throughout the night. Her 
hands were gathered about her face, her sobs despairing 
and mournful. 

Hagar ran and knelt at the side of the bed, her heart 

DiailizodbvGoOgle 



Hagar ReveUy SI 

M> torn by her mother's pitiful condition that she hardly 
dared to speak. 

In that moment she forgot all her sister's imputations, 
all the merciless words that had been poured into her 
ears, and her own argument that had nearly convinced 
faer of their truth. Remembering nothing, neither rea- 
soning nor asking for explanation, she threw her arms 
about the quaking body, crying, as she kissed the white 
hands and forehead, " Mother, mother, I love you, I love 
you. I don't believe anything Thatah told me." 

But her mother lay motionless, and except for the 
deeply suppressed sobs that escaped from her now and 
again, she gave no apparent recognition of Hagar's 
presence, while Hagar, frightened, kept on pleading, 
" Mother, she's lying and I know it. Oh, please don't 
be so sad. Talk to me — please." 

Finally Mrs. Revelly uncovered her face and Hagar 
saw the colorless cheeks and the blood-shot eyes that were 
dry and sunken. It moved her to kiss the woman again, 
and repeat: "You know, mother, I don't believe it." 

Mrs. Revelly raised herself in the bed and tried to 
speak. It was a useless endeavor, at first, and only after 
a time, after she had seemed to call into play every 
muscle of her body, was she able to say : " Hagar, what 
your sister told you — is true. Oh, I heard it all." 

She stared vacantly at the ceiling as she spoke, lifting 
her hands to her throat in an effort to ease the feeling 
that was choking her. 

" Yes, Thatah hasn't lied," she moaned, talking 
through her dishevelled hair. " Oh, God knows I am suf- 
fering enough for it." With the words came another 
tumult of sobs and tears. 

Fearing some dreadful end to her mother's suffering, 
Hagar crawled upon the bed and wrapped her arms about 

DolizodbvCoOglc 



SB Hagar ReoeUp 

her mother's quivering hody. And from an iiutinetive 
fear that loud words might make worse her mother's con- 
ditioD, she talked softly, in a hushed voice. 

*' Dont, please, mother, please don't cry," she mur- 
mured again and again. Her own throat was beginning 
to twitch spasmodically. 

But her mother was not to be quieted, and kept up a 
continuous, running, self-abasement. " I wronged him, 
Hagar, I wronged him, and now I am suffering for it." 

" You must be quiet, mother," implored Hagar. " I 
love you and I always wilL I shall never leave you but 
will stay and comfort you. I know how mean father has 
been. Now, please don't worry so." 

They lay together, their arms entwined, cheek against 
cheek, and the mother whispered : " Oh, my little girl, 
how little you know of the world." With a trembling 
hand she stroked back the soft black hair of the child. 
*' Yes, if you knew, you would not forgive me so easily." 

Then she drew Hagar closer. " Listen, child, my be- 
loved, I do not care for your father. I have tried very 
hard, but I can't. A kind word, even a glance from him 
cuts me like a knife. Oh, I tried so hard before I gave 
in to the truth of it. And I can't, I can't. With Mr. 
Nealy, there is peace and happiness, Hagar, but with 
your father . . . Oh, my little girl, you vriU never 
forgive." 

" Why, I forgive you now, mother," cried Hagar, 
eager for her mother to continue. 

And, as if doubting her, the mother said again, " Yov 
wouldn't if you understood." 

" I do, I understand," Hagar answered. " And I do 
forgive you. Why Fd just die if I didn't have you. 
Well live together and be quiet and happy. You'll be 
happy because he won't bother you. Youll see. Now 
donH be M miserable." 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Ragar Revettp X8 

Her simple pleading affected the mother deeply. She 
clasped Hagar in a ti^t, nearly painful embrace, while 
Hagar, more encouraged, went on: 

" You think I don't understand — why, mother, some- 
times when I get to thinking, I dream such' wonderful 
dreams, too, about living in big houses, and having car- 
riages and a lot of money and people looking at me. 
Sometimes I dream I am very beautiful and very happy 
because I can have just everything I want. You see, I 
know how it is. All I have to do b look around and see 
how awful ererything is here and how poor we are.** 

Mrs. Rerelly truly conceived the earnestness of Ha- 
gar's confession. Though the child's words were a mis- 
interpretation of her own mood, she felt it better to let 
Hagar believe in her dreams. It would do no good to 
tell her that this misery was something different, some- 
thing caused by the sorrow of guilt. And then, far 
back in some remote niche of her brain, was there not this 
same childish thought, lain dormant since youth? 

" Hagar, I am going to tell you something," she whis- 
pered into the child's ears. " Many women go through 
this torture that I have suffered. They get tired of a 
dull life and poverty, but never give in. That is, they 
never dare, and think they are still good women because' 
they haven't given in — until some day when they get to 
wishing and yearning so much they just can't fight baclc 

" Then comes the blow, Hagar. Some cruel, mean 
thing, makes them look in the looking-glass, maybe while 
tbey are dressing that night — to meet Amr, And they 
see awful wrinkles and long grey hairs. 

" Well, it's all over that minute. They see it's no use, 
that they have grown old. It makes them feel very 
ashamed of themselves and very foolish, Hagar, whenever 
they think about it, after that. And they stay unhappy 
for a long time. When they get over it, tbey don't care 
DoiizodbvCoogle 



%t 'Bagar ReveUy 

any more, unleas — they have got some one else." Mrs. 
Revell; kissed Hagar with deep affection, before she 
went on. " That is the only thing will save them," she 
added in a whisper. 

More slowly she continued: 

" Dear child, I met Mr. Neajy eight years ago, when 
I had no one to care for or that cared for me. Every-, 
thing was so monotonous that I couldn't hold out. I've 
loved him ever since I met him. I love him desperately. 
And it is only because I love him so much that I cling to 
him — - just for that reason alone. For he is as poor as 
we are, and cannot give me anything. 

** At first, he came to me and needed a friend as much 
as I did. He was trying hard to make a living and I was 
only interested in his ambition. But I began to know 
and understand him. ... I would do anything in 
the world he'd ask of me, Hagar. Except for yoa, he is 
the only one I have to live for." 

By now Mrs. Revelly was calm and lay along Hagar's 
side, her eyes gazing almost peacefully at the ceiling 
paper. 

" Yes, kiddie, I tell you because I want you to know," 
she went on. " He is so kind, and good and tender. He 
has given up his life for me. I never knew what it was 
to throb just when some one touched me. I never knew 
how it felt to have your heart jump just at the sight 
of a person. But I know now, and before God, who is 
my witness, I wouldn't give him up for anything else in 
life." 

She added, in a soliloquy, while Hagar lay in her arms 
half asleep, " We pay dearly for all the sweetness that 
comes to us, and I am willing to pay for mine." 

Her eyes were filled with tenderness as she spoke. 

Suddenly she turned on her side toward Hagar, and 
putting her arms about the child's body convulsively 



Hagar ReoeUy 46 

drew her near. ** Oh, Hagar," she cried ; " teD me Via 
not a bad woman, tell me, kiddie, tell me. Say I am only 
a good woman, who must suffer now because she has ear 
dured her unhappiness too long." 

Her voice was full of begging. The child was wide 
awake again. " Tell me more, mother," begged Hagar. 

" There is not mach more to tell, dearie. I only 
wanted you to know." Then she hesitated. " I won- 
der," she said more slowly, " now that you do know it^ if 
you can be just as ftHid of me, if we can be just as dear 
to each other. Oh, Hagar, you see I am burying the 
mother in me deep enough when I tell you these things. 
But you must know after all. Problems wQl come into 
your life when you grow older, when you are totally 
unprepared. Perhaps, I am only doing a mother's duty 
after all." 

"You've suffered, haven't you, mother?" said Hagar, 
holding her mother more tightly. 

For the first time Mrs. Revelly smiled a little. " Oh, 
I suffered at the beginning, dearie. I feared your father 
would notice and I feared his violent threats even 
more. 

" Why should I give him up, if he is so dear to meP ** 
she thought on. " We could go away some place to live, 
Hagar, in a Uttle apartment in some other part of town, 
unless your father leaves here himself, as he says. But 
it is the end. Thatah will stay with him. And youP** 
She drew Hagar near to her. " Will you stay with meP " 

" Wherever you go, mother," Hagar breathed softly. 

Mrs. Revelly clasped Hagar in her arms with renewed 
afi!'ection and with her lips at the child's lips, whispered: 

" Oh, Hagar, you are a part of me. You must stay 
by me." And to reassure herself she asked again, " You 
will, won't you ? " 

" Always, mother, always," Hagar murmured. . . . 



t9 Hagar Rmttty 

It was nine o'clock that morning when they had quieted 
themBelves, 

In the next room could be heard Thatah and her father 
talking in low tones and then a number of steps in the 
hallway, mingled with the grating noise of a trunk 
draf^^ along the bare boards of the floor. 

Hagar lay asleep, while Mrs. Rerelly fell into a new 
paroxysm of tears, as she realized that her husband had 
actually begun his preparations for leaving her. 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER IV 

Ta&T she managed to pull through the (ollowiiig week 
without losing all hold on herself was a real surprise to 
Mrs. Revelly. In reality the one thing that kept her 
from giving in entirely to her feelings was the unceasing 
effort she made to persuade herself this great calamity 
was not of her own making. 

After the first few days she gamed strength rapidly. 
Perhaps it was chiefly on account of her material wor- 
ries, for during the week followmg Eman's departure 
she was forced to become more practical than she had 
ever been before. 

Deciding that she could not keep the flat without more 
money than would be coming from her husband, she in- 
serted a smalt advertisement in the paper. The word- 
ing of it, which mentioned a delightful room in a refined 
family consisting of mother and daughter, brou^t many 
applicants. Fanny also decided to stay temporarily for 
a few dollars less a' month, which made it possible for 
Mrs. Revelly to offer meats as well as rooms. 

By the fourth morning the two vacant rooms had heea 
taken. The one next Mrs. Revelly's was rented to a 
thin-faced little woman, who wore rubbers the day she 
came, because of a shght fog in the early morning. Her 
name was Janet French and she introduced herself by 
saying that she attended to her own business, never both- 
ered about anyone else's affairs and that in place of the 
parlor she would expect to use her bedroom for her com- 
pany. Mrs. Revelly gave her the room. ,- r 



S8 Hagar ReveUjf 

Noontime of the same day came another, a young 
mao. 

Mrs, Revellj sent Hagar down to see him. 

She found him standing in the vestibule carefully 
studying one of the old weathered oil paintings. 

" You want to see about a room? " asked Hagar. 

"Yes, if you please." He held in his hand the ad- 
vertisement clipping. "Mj name is Herrick — F. A. 
Herrick. I am employed by the Raphael Art Glass peo- 
ple, as designer," he added. " What do you want for 
a room and board P " 

He spoke in a very businesslike manner and had a di- 
rect way of expressing himself. 

Hagar hesitated. " If you will wait. 111 ask," she 
said, and left him standing in the middle of the hall. 

The fellow was clean cut and rather attractive 
physically. His face was boyish — he couldn't have 
been past twenty-two — and as he saw Hagar's trim lit- 
tle 6gure pass up the stairway, his blue eyes followed anx- 
iously. " I hope it isn't too much," he said to himself 
as he watched her. 

Into the room upstairs Hagar darted unceremoniously. 

" Oh, mother," she cried ; " he's the dandies.t looking 
fdtow, and be wants to know bow much we want." 

Mrs. Revelly, even yet too weak and ill to deal in busi- 
ness matters, searched her brain for a price. The room 
that was vacant was a much larger room than the one 
rented to Miss French. 

After some thought she said: 

" Ask him what he paid at his last place." 

Miss French was paying eight dollars for her room 
and board. She thought that for the other room it 
ought to be at least ten. But she let Hagar rush down 
to the young man. 

" Mother says you can have it for the same as you paid 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar ReveUy 9d 

in your last place," said Hagar, before she was fairly 
in the hall. 

'* Well," he replied, " I left the last place because it 
was a little too steep for me, but I am willing to pay 
nine dollars a week if that is agreeable." 

Hagar answered immediately. " Mother says that will 
be all right. I will show you the room." 

She took him to the room and after he bad given it the 
slightest kind of cursory glance, he told her that he 
would be g^ad to send his trunk over the same evening. 

"Whenever you wish,** said Hagar. 

They shook hands at the door, and the warmth of his 
strong grasp stayed with Hagar until her eyes followed 
him around the comer of the next street. 

There were four more callers that day, three young 
men, and one rather old, who wore a heavy golden horse- 
shoe in his tie and had big red hands. But all were dis- 
missed, as Mrs. Revelly decided despite Hagar's protests 
that the child should still have her own room to herself. 

It was after- this first week that Mrs. Revelly thought 
it would not be wrong for Mr. Nealy to come to her, and, 
after holding off for another day from answering his 
yearning letters, she wrote to him. When Nealy came, 
Mrs. Revelly felt that all evidences of her tearful days 
of stress and worry were removed. She had spent an 
hour getting ready for this first meeting since her hus- 
band's departure, and be found her quietly reading and 
looking very well. 

Arising from her chair, she ran to the door, taking a 
passing glance in the mirrqr. 

Nealy was paler than when she had last seen him. 
Deep Ibes ran down from his eyes to the comers of his 
mouth. 

For a moment they regarded eadi other without even 
touching hands. Nealy plainly showed how anxious he 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



80 Hagar Rtnefly 

was, when he kissed her. Her arms were still about his 
neck as thej stood and talked. 

** I'm glad it's all over." His voice was calm for quite 
the first time, " Now, tell me what's happened." 

«WeU — he's left." 

"Left!" 

*'Yes, aud taken Thatah with him." 

His state of bewilderment was apparent. He grasped 
her hands roughly. 

*'But what is going to happen? Am I mentioned — ** 

" Why, John — " 

" Oh, I know," he said hastily. " But look what it 
means to me if X get mixed up in a divorce case. I 
gaess it's ruin," he added intensely. 

Mrs. Revelly laughed. *' John, you're acting fodish. 
Everything is all right." 

Nealy, still excited, took her hand. " You mean he 
doesn't know P " 

" Sure, John, and I don't think he ever will. Some- 
how the quarrel didn't seem to have anything to do with 
you — so far as he could see." 

*<But Thatah — doesn't she knowP Won't she tell 
him? " 

** I don't think so. She is too much afraid of giving 
him a new worry — you know how crazy she is about him. 
She could never tell him anything that would bother 

Neaty's face lost some of its expression of excitement 
and fear. " I was pretty much worried," he confessed. 
" I didn't hear the whole truth. Your only letter was 
80 vague. Things are bad enou^ for me as they are, 
and I guess you've had a bad time of it too, Rena." 

Then he held her off from him, gently observing her 
for a moment, and patting her pale cheeks and smooth- 
ing back with a touch of his fingers, a wrinkle that had 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar RmeUy SI 

gathered on her forehead. " But you are aa beautiful 
aa ever, Kena," he said. 

She let him admire her, contented and happy to know 
that she was so attractive to him. When they were 
seated, on a divan near the window, he asked, hesitating 
to mention the subject: ** Where have they moved 
to?" 

" I think some phice below Thirty-fourth Street m 
Lexington Aveoue. He left the address with Hagar." 

** After all, there will be peace and quiet now," be 
said, as he took her hand and kissed the back of it. 
** Peace and quiet, and I guess you deserve it, dear little 
woman.** 

" It has been very hard, though," she remarked. 

*'Ye8, but it is over, and you are going to be very, 
very happy." 

" I have thanked Heaven many times that I have you, 
John," she said seriously, looking up. 

She fingered the small locket that he wore on a gold 

"You*ve — looked at that — this week?" 

** You know that," be answered. 

"You can't imagine how queer Hagar is becoming," 
Mrs. Revelly went on irrelevantly. She told how she 
had lately noticed the strange way in which the child 
would hug and kiss ber, and how her little fingers would 
hold on after a caress. 

*' You can't realize the affection there is in that child," 
she added. 

" I believe you're right," be returned, remembering 
how one day he had watched Hagar caress a young spai^ 
row that had fallen from a tree, with an affection that 
was nearly abnormal. Though she held the little thing 
gently between her fingers and stroked the feathery back 
with great delicacy, yet he perceived how her band trem- 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



M Hagar RtveUjf 

bled, and her body stiffened, and the qaivering of her 
lips and slow rhythniic moving of her little bosom. 

It had been all suppressed in the child, but he could 
see the emotions that ran through her. And now he told 
the woman beside him about it. 

" There Is everything in her that there is in you« 
Rena," said he; "passion, emotional regard, affection 
•^ only they don't come out because they have never been 
brought out. But that is only because she is not yet 
conscious of herself." Before he thought of his words, 
he went on: "And she is the kind of woman that would 
give her future, everything, in the instant. That is 
what you notice in her embrace. It is passion." 

" You mean like me, dear P " Mrs, Revelly questioned. 

** A good deal, only you, poor child, were made by cir- 
cumstance to go for so long without what was ri^tfully 
yours." 

Mrs. Revelly became lost in thought. At last she 
said : " I am afraid you are ri^t about Hagar.'* 

" I am anxious to see her," he said. 

He left very late that evening, but his curiosity about 
Hagar kept Mrs. Revelly wondering considerably. In 
his next vbit, his first question was again about the child. 
And when he found she was out, Mrs. Revelly could see 
a shadow of disappointment spread over his face. 

They saw each other every day now, and the hours 
passed always too quickly. It was as if they were again 
living throu^ a rejuvenation of their earlier love. 

One day they discussed a new book that had met with 
a great deal of success. The title of the book was ** A 
Song of Life," and Nealy brought up the subject since 
it was spoken of as a new departure in literature. 

" The woman in it has a little short nose, just like 
yours," said he playfully. 

While they were discussing the book, they came across 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



"Hagar RevOlp $$ 

a full paged picture on one of the leaves, which showed 
a woman stretched out at full length upon a window Beat. 
It made him look at the figure of Mrs. Rerellj and 
then he allowed his glance to follow down the l^igth 
of her limbs to her feet, where just a glimpse of flesh 
could be seen through the sheer fabric of her thin 
stockings. 

He seated himself beside her, and took her in his amu 
and ran one hand up and down her side, in a passionate 
caress. 

" It's curious, Rena,** he said, quietly, " how we hare 
gone on for eig^t years, feeling and caring in just the 
same way we did when we first met." 

** It is alt very strange," she murmured. 

** It sometimes makes me wonder." 

"About what?" 

*' Oh, what it all means. We get so happy and bo 
Bad, and we yearn so much and get so little, and then in 
the end — always happy just to be able to go on without 
realizing a thing.** 

" Yes, I think of that a lot." 

"Of course I am happier now," he went on, "but my 
days are a little strange, for all that. I talk so ear- 
nestly to people, and look into their eyes, and listen to 
what they say, and all the time in my inner consciousness 
knowing that it is only to enable me to make a few dol- 
lars — just to live a little longer." 

When the time came for him to go he murmured that 
it was all too soon. And at the door, she held up her 
face to him and he placed a kiss on her lips, and said ; 

"It is going to be different, now, Rena, isn't it?" 

She put her arm about him. '* Yes, dear friend.'* 
Then she added, " I want t/ou to be happy now." 

" I am, you know that." 

Before he passed onto the broken stone BtepSibe^tp9lt, 



S4 Sagar ReoeUy 

her in his arms again, saying in a hushed voice : " Rena, 
I do love you." 

His feelings appeared to have surged up ajid encom- 
passed him at that last moment. It was very reluctantly 
that he shut the door after him. 

When he had gone Rena went back to her room. It 
was dark, but she hesitated to make a light. Instead she 
began thinking, recalling the first time they met, the 
beginning of their acquaintance. Her thoughts went 
back over the years. She remembered the little glances 
at first and the short strange meetings, and talks. 

She remembered the beginning of their acquaintance. 
It had commenced when he was on the verge of being 
known as a writer of serious fiction and more because it 
was fiction without the usual detail' for romantic action. 
Then came three years* separation- while he waa away* 
amongst some wood choppers and lumber camps in the 
north. When he returned with the work he had written, 
they met one day at the studio of a fellow musician of 
her husband. That day they mentioned to each other 
another engagement that would bring them together. 
In a week they were meeting regularly with aj feeling of 
exultation and gladness pervading their beings. 

A book was illy received, then another with no more 
success. He was compelled to seek employment after 
that, as an assistant in the office of a business magazine. 
And as he became poorer, her interest in him had in- 
creased. A year later there was such absolute need of 
him that all consequences were disregarded. 

How she had tried to interest him. She remembered 
distinctly the way she had managed her hair, how she 
had watched the blending of colors so that her com- 
plexion would show to better advantage. 

One day he stayed later than usual and her husband 
met him, and liked him, which eased her considerably and 



Uagar RcBeUy S6 

made her feel that now it was not at all wrong that he 
should stop in for the cup of tea. 

Their intimacy grew. She had so long suffered from 
inattention and disregard that she had actually grown 
to believe there was in her no longer any ability of being 
attractive or attracting admiration. But he listened to 
her words in a way that seemed to enhance every remark 
that she uttered. Their clasped hands at parting each 
time seemed to convey to each other the full meaning of 
their deep regard. 

Once she noticed that he was looking less pale, that 
there was more color in his cheeks and glitter in his eyes. 
Gradually she became aware that she excited him. How 
pleased she had been when she noticed that. It was 
something so new to feel she could do this, that she 
went on trying, studying his moods and wishes. And 
then — she could not explam how it happened — but 
very gradually it seemed, she began to feel in herself the 
strange quickening of her pulse and the joyous beating 
of her heart that she had so delighted in seeing evidences 
of in him. 

Soon after came the day he told her he loved 
her and was unable to help it. His words had indeed 
been sweet. " I have held out too long," he said. 

But she saw he recognized the situation, too, and 
she had to witness the strug^e going on within the man, 
until at last it made her so unhappy she could only turn 
her face away and beg him not to suffer so intensely. 

When she realized that afternoon that his lips were 
upon her forehead and cheek for the first time, she felt 
like crying out in the joy and pain of it. Even wanting 
to struggle against him, she knew it was beyond her 
power to offer resistance. 

Then had come in quick succession the realization of 
her indiscretion, his efforts for weeks to stay away f Mtn 



86 'Hagar ReveUy 

her, a begging note that she had aent late at night, teQ- 
ing that she must have him in her life. . . 

The years had passed, and as Mrs. Revelly viewed now 
the many days of happiness since then, she felt that the 
intensity of their regard for each other was a noble 
thing, and had only been nourished by passing time be- 
cause of its righteousness. 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER V 

Haoar had been visituig a ^rl friend for a few weeks, 
and when John Nealj, on one of his visits, found her 
back at the side of her mother, he was very much pleased. 

After their first greeting, he kept his eyes on her, say- 
ing: "Well, Hagar, it's been some time since I've seen 
you ; how are you ? " 

Hagar shook his hand warmly. " Very well, Mr. 
Nealy," she answered. Her eyes smiled and sparkled and 
the slight color in her cheeks was made more prominent 
by the very black hair which hung in straight bangs over 
her forehead. 

Nealy regarded appreciatively ber pretty face and su- 
perb little figure. " My, but you are getting to be a 
young lady," he exclaimed, with his eyes alive. " I 
wouldn't think that a few weeks could make such a dif- 
ference." 

" Why, Hagar is still a baby," intruded Mrs. Revelly, 
who had been watching almost enviously. 

He answered that Hagar would be a young woman be- 
fore she knew it. As he talked, Mrs. Revelly noticed that 
bis eyes never ceased their admiring look into the girl's 
face. 

" You shouldn't say that, John," she commented ; " if 
only because it makes me feel old." 

It pained her somewhat to think that instead of giving 
her his time, he should be wasting it on the bashful Hagar. 

Nealy, becoming vaguely conscious of her injured feel- 
ings, replied : " You will always be young to me, Rena." 

They decided to walk over to Riverside Drive, where 



88 Hagar ReveUy 

life was more splendid than between the rows of shabby 
apartment houses. 

" We will watch the aristocracy, and envy them," he 
said whimsically, looking down, as he spoke, at his shabby 
black suit. 

They crossed over to Seventh Avenue and then walKed 
along One Hundred and Twenty-fifth Street until they 
reached the driveway. 

Here, running along the edge of the walk, was an un- 
ending line of green benches, crowded with women and 
children, while a few idle men were sprawling on the 
nearby grass. In the distance Grant's Tomb, with its 
dome, pointed into the still air, in silhouette against the 
mingling dust and smoke that hung above the city. 

Nealy walked silently along between the two women, 
rather proud of his lovely companions. As they neared 
a turn in the road, a young man sitting on a bench, fast 
asleep, attracted their attention. He was shabbily 
dressed and an ugly scar ran down from the comer of 
his mouth to his throat, arraying the flesh into a series 
of whitened ridges, like the ribs in a fan. 

As they passed, Hagar looked at him and exclaimed: 
" Oh, look, how awful ! " and became suddenly downcast. 

After they had walked on, Mrs. Revelly noticed the 
abrupt change in Hagar's mood and asked her what waa 
the trouble. 

" That man, mother," Hagar answered. " Did you 
see how awful he looked? Couldn't we give him some 
money P " 

Amidst the mother's protestations, John Neal^ took 
out a small piece of change and handed it to HagsT. 
With the money held aloft the girl skipped off, crying 
to them as she ran : " I'll be back in a minute," 

While they stood waiting for her Mrs. Revelly said: 
" I wonder sometimes if I understand Hagar. She will 



Hagar ReveUy 99 

stay quiet for hours dreaming and thinking. If she 
reads a book she imagines herself the heroine of every 
adventure. Yet when she gets out into the open air like 
this, she is just as wild as a boy." 

Hagar came rushing back to them. 

" You should have seen how happy and surprised he 
was," she cried breathlessly. " He just looked at me,and 
was nearly too surprised to take the money." 

Hagar's mood had indeed changed. The momentary 
overcasting of her spirits had passed and she was again 
buoyant and childish. At Nealy*s suggestion, she told 
as they walked on, about a book she had just finished 
reading, and how it had affected her. 

He made her describe in her girlish way the hero and 
heroine of the story. 

" Do you think you will ever have anything like that 
happen to you, Hagar P " he asked when she had finished. 

They were walking along quietly. 

*' I don't know," she answered. In her voice was an- 
ticipation and eagerness. 

As he questioned her, Nealy's attention was called to 
something more than her pretty ntuve manner. At that 
moment he discovered in the glow of her cheeks and in 
her wondering speech an entirely new interest. 

Reaching the end of the driveway they sat down, with 
their faces to the Hudson. Up and down the river 
moved the different craft, while in the distance, where 
the water seemed to meet the sky, could be seen a thin 
line of smoke coiling its way into the air. Then the 
white outline of an Albany boat came into view, wtule 
at the same moment they noticed across from them a 
big electric sign that loomed up in vast letters, in an 
incongruous comparison to the natural beauty of the 
reddish cliffs that framed the water. 

Nealy found a host of forgotten memories steaj^^iif^ 



'40 Hagar RevtUy 

to htm ai lie viewed the scenerj; thou^ta of his own 
youth, his earlier ambitions and failures, all the different 
plans, the pettj desires that had j^wn bigger with the 
man. Events which he thou^t he had quite forgotten 
all came back now and spun their little web of remem- 
brance, and taunted him as they had done in the other 
years — it seemed as if they had been let loose from some 
sealed casket in his memory. 

As he thought on, be wondered if it was chance or the 
pretty youthfulness of Hagar that brou^t back to him 
these forgotten things. He asked himself the question 
quite frankly, because be remembered that he had been 
always susceptible to a pretty face. 

As they sat quietly viewing the scenery, Nealy felt 
himself becoming reaUy saddened. 

" Let us walk back," he said. Then, with the thought 
that the women might be too tired, he suggested they 
take one of the passing omnibuses. 

They reached the door of the flat while it was yet 
sunny and hot. Mrs. Revelly asked him to come in, and 
they were hardly seated in the little parlor, when she 
surprised him by asking why his mood had changed so 
perceptibly in the last few minutes. 

" You are acting sad, John, and you ought to be 
happy now," she told him. 

*' Why, Rena, I am happy," he answered. However, 
he felt that her question was not groundless. Deep in 
him, there was something disturbing and troubling, 
though when Hagar came back into the room the feel- 
ing seemed to pass off. 

After that day Nealy came much more often to their 
home, and Mrs. Revelly was made happy again. Some- 
times he stopped in of a morning on his way to the of- 
Sce, and again he would very unceremoniously drop in for 
a few minutes' chat at lunch time. , . , 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,L-'OOglC 



Hagar Revelljf 41 

At 6rst Rena Revellj was much pleased that, for some 
reason, he should feel more the need of her. It gave her 
a lot of pleasure and mode the days pass quickly. But 
one evening, just after he had left them, she stopped to 
ask herself if there were not some new impulse that had 
again aroused him. 

She thought about the problem a good deal that night, 
and gradually became assured that it was something 
other than her caresses that was giving him this new and 
increased pleasure. It even came into her ntiad that he 
was taking more care of bis clothes these days and of 
his face, for now he never appeared unless he was cleanly 
shaven. 

About a week later they were seated in the unlighted 
parlor, waiting for dinner. Hagar had gone to her 
room to change her dress, and she and Nealy were rest- 
ing in silence. In a few minutes Hagar came back to 
have her mother fasten the back of her collar, which she 
could not manage. The child had on a pale blue waist 
of thin material and a tight fitting dark skirt which 
showed all the gentle curves of her form. 

Mrs. Revelly drew the girl to her and gave her lipa 
an affectionate kiss. " You're pretty as a picture to- 
night," she exclaimed. Then she quite unconsciously hap- 
pened to look across to the man and noticed the new 
expression on his face and the new life in his eyes. That 
casual glance, changed to real belief her previous fears 
and anxiety, heightened the colors in the ratiocinative pic- 
ture 80 gradually confronting her. 

During the evening she tried hard not to betray her 
new understanding. But, when once Nealy remarked on 
Hagar's beauty, she exclaimed in tones nearly beyond 
her control : " I am getting old, John. I bdieve you 
are falling in love with my daughter." 

** Don't be silly, Rena," be replied ; whQe she fought 



4t Hagar Revdlj/ 

valiantly not to show she had seen the almost guilty look 
that had stolen across his face. 

The next afternoon Hagar was out when he called and 
he did not stay for dinner, making the excuse that he was 
not well. 

Mrs. Revelly was in truth grieved; for planning on this 
evening alone with him, she had with special care dressed 
herself and ordered the meal. 

Depressed and lonely, she went to the tahle almost hat- 
ing her two boarders, though after a while, she found her- 
self listening to their talk with a certain vague enjoy- 
ment. 

Herrick was really a very talkative and cheering per- 
scm. When he joined Mrs. Revelly, and Hagar, who had 
by now come home, on the porch after dinner, he grew 
even more encouraged and talked rampantly, explaining 
that he would eventually become an artist, even though now 
they compelled him to do clerical work, on account of the 
dulness of the season. " But 1*11 make them come around 
to my work before I am through," said he courageously, 
as he found Hagar listening attentively to his words. 

To the mind of the youthful Hagar, Herrick was an 
ideal type of physical beauty, with his broad shoulders 
and tall stature, and as they sat on the steps, facing each 
other, she felt like letting him understand that she ad- 
mired him. 

There was always something, however, that kept her 
from looking directly at him or indulging in any con- 
versation. She could not explain this feeling, and only 
once since he had come to their house had she been able to 
answer directly bis searching glances. 

That night after her mother had gone inside, and they 
were alone, Herrick surprised her by saying, as if the 
idea had just come to him : " You people are not very 
well oflF, are youP" 

DiailizodbvGoOgle 



Hagar Revfttg 48 

Hagar was startled. 

" I do not know what you mean.** 

" Oh, I mean that jou haven't got much monej, bacb- 
iiig. you know." 

It was after some hesitation that Hagar replied, very 
bravely: "No, I guess we haven't." 

" Well, that's what I thought." He seemed to be driv- 
ing at some point in his mind that could not well be 
worded. 

After a spell of silence in which Hagar wondered a 
great deal about what he was thinking, he went on : 

" I was just wondering what you thought about it. 
It seems a pretty big thing to me, this being poor. And 
I guess a girl is in a worse position because it is harder 
for her to get out and look around." He hesitated. 
" Of course, it is too hot to do anything now, but I sup- 
pose you are going to do something in the fall, aren't 
you? " 

" Why, why — I haven't thou^t of that," answered 
Hagar. Then she looked into his face. " I don't know 
what 111 do. Maybe I'll stay here and help mother, or 
maybe go bock to school." As an after thought she 
added: "I hate school, though." 

"Did you finish high school?" he asked. 

" No, I was in the grammar still. I was sick all one 
year," she went on, meaning to explain to him the cause 
for her backwardness, " and when they wanted to put me 
back a year on top of that, why, I just quit. I hated 
to go to school and study all the time, anyway." 

Herrick listened intently to her words and when she 
had finished he told her again that the question of work 
was a big proposition. 

" Why, in my case, I went to work when I quit school. 
I saw the way things were going around the house, and 
I made up my mind to get right out for myself. Father 

L ,l,z<»i:,.,C00gIf 



M Hagar RgoMy 

WM a first-class job painter, and had hia own business, 
but he was sick all the time and mother worried so be- 
cause no money was coming in. Then the house got 
mortgaged and I took a job right off. I wanted to studj 
oil painting as I could draw pretty wdl, but of course 
that was all knocked in the head. I had to get out and 
hustle." 

" Isn't that fine? But of course it's different with 
girls," remarked Hagar. 

*' Oh, I don't know," he went on, " Maybe I think dif- 
ferent about those things. I look at the girts, society 
girls, you know, who hang around sleeping all morning, 
because they get in about three or four o'clock from some 
dance, and then when they get up don't do anything but 
fix their hair and clothes and read novels all afternoon, 
waiting for their date that night with some new fellow. 
I think of them and wonder if they ever realize that they 
are no better than a lot of other women who hang around 
men. Vou know what I mean? Well, the women that 
make a living that way, dressing and fussing up for the 
men. 

" Oh, there isn't so much difference," he exclaimed, 
mistaking her astonishment at his words for some smoth- 
ered argument of defence. " There isn't so much dif- 
ference, I can tell you. All the society girls do is to go 
out and watch for a husband. That's what it amounts 
to. And if some of them are really pretty and all the 
men chase after them, then they feel pretty safe about 
the husband proposition, and don't care if they are a lit- 
tle sportier than the other girls. They think they can do 
that, because they know it won't queer them like it would 
the ugly girls. Why, one night, I was in a restaurant 
with our boss, when a lot of them came in and sat pretty 
near to ns. And they weren't much older than you are 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar ReoeUy 46 

cither." He looked at her. ** B j the way,** he asked, 
"how old are jou. Miss Revelly?" 

" I am — about sixteen," she faltered, wishin|f that he 
had not paused to queetion her. 

*' Gee, you look older than that. I guessed you were 
about eighteen or nineteen, anyway." 

After a moment's thou^t, he said partly to himself, 
partly to the open street: 

" I guess I oughtn't to have talked so strong to you.** 

** Oh, it's all right, Mr. Herrick," replied Hagar. 
** Maybe it's something I ought to hear. You know I 
haven't got any brothers to tell me." 

"Well, where was IP" he asked. 

" You were saying something about being in a restau- 
rant with your boss — " 

** Oh, yes. WeU, about half a dozen of them came in, 
and they were mighty pretty I can tell you. Well, we 
counted how much they were drinking and one little girl 
— Ill bet she didn't weigh ninety pounds — drank her 
own dry Martini and part of the fellow's that was next 
to her, and four glasses of champagne, and she was used 
to it too, because it didn't affect her at all." 

** Oh, how awful ! " interrupted Hagar. 

** Of course, they are not all like that," he continued. 
** Some of them fall in love and that straightens them up. 
It even makes good decent women out of some of them. 
But tell Die," he asked seriously, *' what good do those 
society girls like that do in the world P " 

"Don't some of them work among the poor?" 

Derisively he replied: "Oh, yes. They work among 
the poor all right. Somebody wrote a novel once where 
the good-looking hero worked among the poor. So most 
of them go down to the slums with the idea in their heads 
that they're going to meet a hero, too." 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



46 Hagar ReveUj/ 

He stopped his argument long enough to take a cig- 
arette from a black gun-metal cigarette case. 

When he had lit the cigarette, he said, even more seri- 
ously: ** But what I am driving at, is that a ^rl ou^t 
to work like a man, whether she's got mone; or not. Of 
course, if she has got money, then she can do the things 
that train ber mind, and don't bring in much money, like 
writing, or painting or languages, and be of some serv- 
ice afterwards by going in for teaching. She could do 
a lot of good that way and cut down some of the taxes 
that the poor people have to pay to help keep up the 
schoolhouses and things. " Yes," he went on, " society 
girls are public burdens, and it's the poor people that 
pay for their dances and suppers." 

"Then ought I go to work?" Hagar asked. 

'* Well, I guess you really ought to. It would give 
you something to do and help out here at the same 
time," 

It was this conversation that gave Hagar an entirely 
new view of her life. 

Many times after that she would stop short to ask her- 
self some question about this new project. She said 
nothing to her mother about it, hut as the days and weeks 
passed she formed a Jinn resolve. 

Then there came one day, a deeper reason for doing 
so. This was a conversation she overheard between her 
mother and Mr. Nealy. When brought down to its full- 
est meaning, her future action now meant the preserva- 
tion of happiness to the one person in the world whom she 
loved. 

It seemed that Mrs. Revelly had continued to notice 
how the face of the man she loved brightened up at Hagar's 
appearance, and that he became more cheerful and gayer 
the moment the girl entered the room. Slowly she began 
to understand with a woman's instinct that Hagar 



"Hagar ReotUy 47 

brought to him those things which she knew were passing 
in herself. 

For a time she tried to rival the dau^ter's freshness, 
her vivacity and innocence. One day when Hagar's arms 
were around her neck, she noticed her own thin wrists in 
comparison with the girl's. Thinking perhaps his waning 
affection was simply a question of superficial beauty, she 
resolved to get stouter, and began immediately to eat 
eggs in quantity and drink rich milk. But in two or 
three days this so impaired her digestion that she was 
compelled to g^ve it up. Then she tried resting and mas- 
sa^g her body. Finding this quite unsatisfactory as 
well as expensive, she undertook a new treatment that she 
had come across in the beauty columns of the newspapers, 
which consisted of roUing shovA on the floor; but this 
only strained and tired her. 

And so she gave up entirely, as a futile quest, this task 
of inviting back her youth. 

However, some harm had been done. A species of hys- 
terical resignation and unrest was left in her, which made 
her say and do things, that in the time before she had been 
able to control. Fearing that she might lose the man 
she loved, her thoughts dwelt incessantly upon some man- 
ner of prevention. 

She began to use childish expressions and be artifi- 
cially joyful and vivacious. It pained Nealy to witness 
this hysterical trait in her and one day, the day Hagar 
was listening in the next room, he very solemnly begged 
Mrs. Hevelly to leave off her queer actions. 

" It isn't you, Rena," he said. " And I hate to see 
you act this way." He really felt the pathos of it, and 
was dimly conscious of the reason. 

Mrs. Revelly said in answer to his remark: 

" You wouldn't mind it in Hagar, John." 

He looked at her with some asttnuahment. 

L ,l,z<,i:,.,GOOgk" 



48 Hagar RevOy 

" Resa ! " he exclaimed. 

Then she came over and kneeled on the floor beside him, 
taking both his bands and pressing them to her lips for a 
long kiss. 

" John, ;ou do not love me as much as you did," she 
began. 

"Rena, please — " 

She interrupted him : " No, you do not love me the 
way you did when we used to walk together under the 
trees and be silent for hours. Remember how you used 
to say that there was a lover's hush let loose in the air, 
when we would be so quiet? Oh, no, dear, you don't. I 
know, I feel — and I see how it is when Hagar is around. 
Why, John, your eyes light up, then you become droopy 
and quiet. Oh, John, am I not ri^t?" 

" Rena, you are a very foolish child to talk this way. 
You know everything is as it always was. Now what is 
the trouble? " 

f* No, you don't understand," she went on. "A woman 
loves and she can never go backwards in her love. You 
know the quotation : ' To him who has acquired a taste 
for wine, water is insipid? ' Well, John, so is friendship 
after love." 

She seemed to break completely in an instant. In a 
hushed, quavering voice, she said: "Oh, my God, John, 
you don't know how I love you, and how it hurts me to see 
you look at me with only sympathy and kindness in your 
eye." 

For a moment she paused. *' To tell the truth, John," 
and her voice was more steady now, " I really have to beg 
you to stay, after Hagar leaves." 

He seemed to be a little annoyed at this. " I wish you 
wouldn't be so foolish," he said impulsively. 

" Oh, I can't help it, I feel it — I know it, John," she 
cried, clutching at his folded hands. " You see my wrin- 



Hagar ReveUy 49 

Ues now, whOe Hagar brings back youth to jou. If 
jou don't love her now, it won't be long before you will, 
just simply because she represents youth to you." 

" I won't answer you if you talk like this." He spoke 
impatiently and tried to loosen the hold of her fingers. 

She went on, speaking in a low hoarse voice. And 
the while she talked, she searched the depths of his 
eyes. 

" John, I know you are only living up to yourself. 
You haven't loved me since the day you realized that I 
was no longer young. Tell me, John, I know it's true, 
no matter what you say, hut I want to hear it from your 
own lips. You don't care — since you realized that I am 
growing into an old woman, do youP Please, please, tell 
me!" 

Nealy's face grew red now and he became angry, say- 
ing: "Rena, I tell you I won't talk to you on such a 
subject." 

He rose impatiently, but Mrs. Revelly caught at his 
arm and threw herself down in a heap on the floor at his 
feet, crying: 

"Dear, you are all I have, and I feel you gradually 
slipping away from me. Please understand. I see it in 
the way you look at me. Yes, the way you hold me. Oh, 
John, a woman can tell these things. I see how you get 
color in your face and light in your eyes the moment Ha- 
gar comes into the room. I guess it is my luck." 

Nealy raised her head from where she had rested it 
against his knees. He looked at the throbbing hot tem- 
ples. Their palpitation seemed the more distressing he- 
cause of the few covering strands of grey hair. And as 
he looked at the pale face and felt the clutch of her fin- 
gers, he became filled with a great pity and regret. 

He took her face between his hands and lifted it to a 
level with his eyes. Then he kissed her lips, again and 



50 Hagar ReoeHy 

again, whisperisg, each time : " Rena, I do love jon, I 
lore only you. Don't be so foolish." 

And the while they were entering into a state of pacifi- 
cation, Hagar in the next room, her head buried in 
the pillows on the bed, was sobbing with deep tumultuous 
spasms that shook her whole body. 

Standing guiltily at the door she had listened to the 
whole of the conversation. 

"Oh, my poor mother!" she cried into the piUows^ 
"oh, my poor mother I ** 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER VI 

Thx boarding place that Thatah and her father found 

the afternoon after the quarrel, was a three-story brick 
building that in some former time had probably been a 
small school or club. 

This impression was to be gained from the lower floor 
of the house, which was separated into three big rooms, 
each of the same size and appearance. They were large 
and spacious, and in the front room, which was the better 
furnished, congregated the boarders after the evening 
meal. Into this large room, with its majestic pahn trees 
outlined upon the dingy green wall paper, would come the 
ladies and gentlemen of the house, with the usufd ranting 
and gossipy talk common to a second-class boarding place. 

The other two rooms on the main floor were used as a 
dining-room, and kitchen. 

It was not Thatah*s fault that such an iminviting dom- 
icile held out its gaunt arms to them. One of Professor 
Revelly's pupils had an aunt living here, a thin old lady, 
who sympathized deeply with him and who, he felt, under- 
stood him. Also in this vicinity lived most of his pupils. 

Moreover, Revelly and Thatah, after a few hours of 
house hunting, were glad to find any place that offered 
them a decent home. Neither of them felt by nature 
fitted to interview New York landladies and the experi- 
ences they had, served only to prove to them their incom- 
petence. 

At one place on their hunt — it was a brown granite 
stone house on Fifty-fourth Street — they had an es- 
pecially disconcerting adventure. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



St Hagar ReveUg 

A stout lady with tightly curled hair and aquiline nose, 
vfaich stood out inquiringly in front of her face, had an- 
swered their call. The professor was quite disturbed from 
the very first moment, when she asked him in very coarse 
tones what his business was. When he noticed a large 
dirty grease spot on the front of her apron, he wished 
that they had passed on. But he resolved to make the 
best of it and very politely answered her. 

"Who's the lady with youP" she inquired. 

*' My daughter, madam," he answered. 

Turning her eyes to Thatah, she glanced keenly at her 
for a moment. The delicate, quiet features and shrink- 
ing appearance of the girl, and the man's daric, shiny, 
long coat and careless linen gave her an entirely false 
idea. 

She asked if they were man and wife. 

" She is my daughter, madam," he replied with dignity. 

"Well," she answered, " I've just finished an eiperience 
which has been recorded in all the newspapers and has 
nearly ruined my place." 

And she went on to say that a few days before, she had 
harbored a man and a young girl whose appearance was 
extraordinarily like that of Thatah and her father, but 
presently the police had informed her, while on a search 
through her rooms, that the man had some evil influence 
over the young girl and had enticed her away from some 
great home of luxury. One experience had been enough 
for her. 

" I dont believe I can take any more chances,** she 
said, looking Revelly full in the face. " You better go 
to some other place." 

The door was closed with an unkind jar. 

Revelly, puzzled and hurt, but hardly angry, stood 
still for a moment and then went down the steps with the 
perplexed Thatah tugging at his side. 

L ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



Hagar RmeUy 6$ 

** Wliat did the woman sayP " she asked. ** I stood too 
far back to hear." 

** Nothing, don't ask me." 

** But she said something, father ; something that hurt 
you, too." 

He quickened his pace so that she could hardly keep 
up with him, and lliatah ceased her questioning and 
mildly followed him. 

It was after such an experience that they were glad to 
find at last at Mrs. Neer's, a place where they were wel- 
comed. ' 

The first night at the new abode interested Thatah 
greatly. There were a half dozen persons at the table, 
besides Mrs. Neer and her granddaughter, a young girl 
of twelve years, and it did not take Thatah very long 
after she had sat down beside her father, to conclude that 
these people were typical denizens of a boarding house. 

There was an actress, Miss Darcy, who sang in the 
chorus of a popular musical show, and who wore a sailor 
suit and dressed very simply. 

At night she came home soon after the performance 
and read in her room, which was thought to be a wonder- 
ful example of resistance against temptation. Thatah 
discovered before long that everyone used Miss Darcy as 
a model for the chorus ladies of the world. But she was 
not beautiful and not young any more and she had a very 
large nose. This might have been the reason for her 
virtuous life. 

Another woman, Mrs. Cortello, was indirectly of Span- 
ish nobility. Her husband had died of broken spirit after 
a New York business venture, and she was compelled to 
sell transfer paintings for chinaware. 

When Mrs. Neer told the history of this woman to 
them, Thatah unconsciously exclaimed : " Is that all she 
works?" 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



04 ^ Hagar ReveUff 

That first evening, a joung man at Thatah's side at 
table informed her that Madame Cortello was also a poet- 
eas. He showed her, handed along with the bread plate, 
four lines of poetr; the woman had written for some 
magazine. The youth told her that these lines meant to 
him his life, as thej expressed the exact feeling in which 
he held the girl he was courting and would some day 
marry. 

The fellow was a clerk in a patent medicine house that 
dealt exdusively in mail orders, and, as he explained, he 
had come to New York full of sentiment and ambition 
and was determined to lose neither of these two qualities. 
Mrs. Cortello, he said, was a great inspiration to him. 
But Thatah was not moved by his enthusiasm and even 
from that first evening, the smQe and manner of Mrs. 
Cortello roused her intense antagonism. 

After dinner the father and daughter lingered as long 
as they thought necessary to show regard for the otliera. 
Then they stole quietly up to their two little rooms at 
the top of the house. 

The larger of them — a bedroom and sitting room 
in one — was decorated modestly and with a certain com- 
fort. Thatah's room which adjoined, was much smaller; 
there was a long diagonal crack in the ceiling paper and 
a dirty threadbare rug on the floor at the side of her 
bed, but somehow to her girlish eyes, the large window 
set with geranium plants made up for all these blemishes. 

" Well make my room the sitting room, Thatah," said 
her father, as he walked over and opened a window. 

She did not answer, but to the professor's great sur- 
prise, threw herself lengthwise across the bed, and began 
to cry. 

" Don't, child," he said kindly, and ./ithout question, 
for he understood something of the reason for her un- 
luppinesft 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Bagar Rm^y 0S 

But she let loose all her inner feelings, erjing out: 
" Oh, God, I can't stand it here." 

" You mustn't be like this, Thatah," said be, with 
some evidence of control in his own voice. " What is the 
matter? " 

Rather hystericallj, she went on, " Oh, father, just 
think what we have come to." 

" At any rate, we are together, dear," Revellj said, 
to soothe her. 

Thatah tried to check her tears a little, blaming herself 
that by her lack of self control she had increased his un- 
happiness. But only after some time was she entirely 
quiet again. 

" You mustn't give way to yourself like this, child. I 
know it's pretty colorless here, but it will be all ri^t. 
You must wait and see." He petted her soft, white hand. 
" It will be better to-morrow. The first night, you know. 
We must expect to feel strange at first." 

** But these terrible people, father ! How will we hold 
out?" 

"Wait till you know them. They surely have their 
good traits, too. Yes, we must be patient, Thatah." 

From a room across the alley way came sounds of a 
coarse, popular melody, reluctantly driven from a clang- 
ing piano. It floated in to them on the thick, summer 
air, and Thatah, somewhat quieted now, walked over and 
lifted the shade. 

Directly across the passageway in the bouse which 
backed up against them, she could see a stupid looking fel- 
low pounding vigorously upon the keyboard, while back of 
him, were two others, with their bands on his shoulders. 
All were bellowing with huge strength, when the one 
standing nearest the window noticed her, and called the 
attention of the others. Then all stopped their mostc 
and came aver to greet her. 

DolizodbvCoOglc 



SB Hagar Revellp 

With an angry jerk, Thatah pulled down the ahade and 
ran from the trindow. 

The incident dispirited her again for a time, and it was 
not until late jn the evening, when her father gathered 
together the score of a new symphony which the orchestra 
was to rehearse in the morning, that her mood was lifj^t- 
ened. Then she rose from the bed and seated herself near 
him, watching him as he gathered the sheets together, 
content — as he always was when handling manuscript 
of important scores. 

"This is like old times, after all, Thatah. At last 
there is peace," he said slowly. 

" Yes," she answered, but as she looked into his face 
she was shocked. It might have been the reflection of the 
light, but there seemed a new hollowness about his eyes 
and a gaunt, empty expression round his mouth. 

"Oh, I do hope you will be happy here, father," she 
cried, impulsively putting her arms around his neck. 

Later as she lay in her quiet little room, staring with 
wide-open eyea out of the window, her earlier mood of dis- 
couragement returned. She thought of what her life 
was giving her just now, of how the plans she had 
made for herself, the desires and wishes and little builded 
dreams, were fading into a sordid present. 

She marvelled at the ability she showed to go on un- 
ceasingly in the same routine, doing over the same mo- 
notonous things and never letting anyone discover the 
real yearning for happiness that lay within her. 

On the following morning, the arrangement for separa- 
tion was drawn up between her parents. 

Thatah never forgot her father's appearance on that 
day. When they informed him that he must give part 
of his earnings to his wife, he was stricken speechless with 
astonishment. The lines of surprise that came to his face, 
when he realized that be must still work for this wornant 
I ,i,z<,d.vCoogIe 



Hagar ReoeUff 61 

remained indelibly in Thatak's memory for man; 

months. 

That was a bard day for both of them. Frofe8§or 
Revelly was so humbled by the hand of the law that his 
submission was pathetic. 

As they passed out between the chairs in the lawyer's 
(^ce, he whispered to Tbatah: ** She's rid of us, she's 
rid of us." 

Tbatah answered: "Yes, we're lucky, father." 

But though she spoke lau^^iingly, she prayed that 
something might come to her father that would make him 
strong like other men. He was, at that moment, so de- 
jected and rusty looking. He reminded her of something 
broken, neglected and worn out. 

That day she saw plainly the path that lay in front 
of her. There seemed no way of avoiding her fate. Her 
father was lonely and isolated and it was her duty to 
stay by him all his life. That was how it would go (m, 
she told herself. 

In the days that followed, Eman Revelly was overtaken 
by queer spells of brooding and meditation. It did not 
take long for the boarders and Mrs. Neer to understand 
that he was an eccentric, whom it was best to leave un- 
molested. He said so many things that came strange to 
their mediocre understanding. 

Far better would it have been, had he understood their 
low caste of intelligence and left his philosophies to smoul- 
der within him, unworded. He could not do this, how- 
ever, and in a few weeks, by one way or another, he had 
made himself to the minds of each of them, a strange and 
unbalanced nmn. Such an one they had never met. 

Meantime, came a new problem — the question of fi- 
nances. The court had decided that until a divorce was 
granted seventy-liTe dollars a month was to be given the 
wife. The orchestra brought in only one hundred and 



68 Hagar ReveUp 

twenty-five dollars, and his pupils about twenty-five more, 
so only seventj-five was left for them. Out of this must 
conie all their expenses, and after paying Mrs. Neer 
fiftj-two dollars for the two rooms and their board> 
the balance, they found, was not enou{^ to pay for their 
laundry, clothes and carfare. To add to their difficulties, 
one of his pupils was able to pay only every six months, 
because the aunt who was educating her, received her dead 
husband's pension in that way from the Indian service. 

It seemed essential that they find some road out, and, 
after a period of indecision, the Professor realized 
the only thing was to find employment for Thatah. 
Before he spoke to her, however, he questioned himself 
incessantly. It really seemed to him a right course, even 
from Thatab'a individual point of view, for there was 
nothing else she could do, and she certainly could not 
spend her days indefinitely sitting alone in her room. Yet 
he hated to suggest that she should go out and work for 
money — to him she seemed still a little girl. 

He put off speaking to her from day to day, always 
waiting for an opportune moment, a moment when she was 
not too sad nor too gay. 

Finally one ni^t he summoned up enough courage to 
open the subject. In soft, nearly broken tones, he told 
her that she had probably realized it was not good for 
her to be so much alone. He had been watching her 
lately, he said, and had noticed that it was having an 
effect upon her. Also he wanted her to dress better and 
go out more. And an easy way of solving the problem 
was for her to occupy her mind with some kind of work. 
Moreover, it would bring in a few dollars and make them 
happier. Then, he told her, he had been fortunate in 
securing for her a position in the bureau of the opera 
bouse. It wouldn't be hard work and she required no 
other training than her intelligence. 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



HagaT ReoMy 59 

She took it very quietl;, and seemed scarcely to notice 
what be had said, only asking when her work would start. 

While this attitude of hers relieved the old man, it dis- 
tressed him, too; with so much to fight and endure, it 
seemed hard that Thatah should be indifferent and apa- 
thetic. 

Thia was indeed a trying time for the unhappy, broken 
musician. Things were not going too well for him, even 
at the orchestra, and he found himself constantly pictur- 
ing the darkest outcome for the future. Me became very 
nervous and was unable to give his mind any rest. Night 
after night he was attacked in the same manner, his 
thoughts making his brain revolve and labor like some 
mechanical thing. 

Being unable to sleep one early morning, he sat drow- 
sily in his chair, looking past the stone ledge of the win- 
dow down into the street. Sitting there, he saw a huge 
automobile, like some big black bug, crawl around the 
comer. It served to throw him into a chain of reveries 
about his own lack of enjoyment of the world's gifts, 
made him think of the insuperable chasm that separated 
him from this sort of life. For hours, he sat there, mut- 
tering to himself. 

Such spells as these became very frequent with him. 
Every inanimate thing seemed to bring some significant 
question to his mind. 

He thought a great deal about his wife at these times 
and how easily she appeared to find happiness. 

One day he mentioned this to Thatah. And she an- 
swered: "Well, father, isn't it best to take life easy? 
If everybody was as serious as you, no one would be 
happy." 

" But they are wrong," he argued. " One must work 
for real happiness." 

" Their happiness baa the same value to tiiem. basn't 



60 Hagar ReveUy 

it?" she asked. "It Beems to me hftppiness could only 
be the one thing." 

He appeared discouraged b; her light-hearted view of 
his mood, and told her that she must take such questiona 
more seriously. *' Happiness only takes its value from 
the things by which you measure it. We have to labor 
and have sorrow to gain the real thing.** 

Thatah noticed how his earnestness was affecting 
him. " Please, father, let's talk of different things," she 



But he went on. " No, Thatah, it is good for you to 
know. I want you to learn the real value in life." He 
continued to say that one yearns for the unattainable 
during the first half of his years and mourns for it there- 
after. " The old ambitions become less acute," he said ; 
" the new ones less frequent. It is only the need of com- 
panionship that becomes exaggerated as time passes." 

As he talked, Thatah became more interested, for he 
delved back into his own life, telling how a little fellow of 
twelve, with his violin and piano, grew into the lad of 
twenty. 

** I, too, have had my measures for valuation. In those 
days everyone told me how great a musician I was. I be- 
came encouraged, and left the violin, to which I had de- 
voted myself, and went back to the piano, feeling that I 
must perfect myself on that, too." 

He described to Thatah how he had played at the 
Vienna Orchestral Hall a passionate, throbbing Brahms 
Capriccio. It was his first public appearance. 

" I was only twenty-two, then," he continued, " and the 
happiness of that day brings back to me youth, whenever 
I think of it. And when I played a little Chopin Etude 
for an encore, how they all clapped and applauded ! " 

He dropped back in his chair. "Now, look at Boe!" 
he cried. And for a little he was silent. 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



Hagar ReveUy 61 

Suddenly he ^t up, went to his trunk and lifted from 
one of its trays a. huge bundle of manuscript. 

" Thatah," he began, *' I want to tell you a stoi^. 
Something I have never told anyone." He gently untied 
the bundle of papers. ** Here is a symphony, * Gwenola 
Days ' — you see I call it. It's a monument to my youth 
in VieDna." 

Handling it daintily, as if it were a piece of fragile 
lace, he took the different sheets, one by one, and studied 
them, bowing his head over them and saying : ** Each 
little note was a hope, my dear girl." 

For a time he was silent, then continued, softly, " It's 
like a fairy tale, too. Only, the giant ogre in the final 
chapter gets swallowed by the dwarf." 

As be talked, he became more calm and at last settled 
in to tell the story. 

" I was only twenty at the time, and my parents kept 
me very close to the piano and violin. In the morning I 
was up at six, then a little breakfast and practice until 
midday. In the afternoon, a lesson from Herr Mancker, 
my master, and then a walk in the park with my uncle, 
who lived with us. That was the way my days passed. 

** You see, they were preparing me for a great career 
as a virtuoso. Ah, those days! It seemed preordained 
that I was to become great, too. So they said, at any 
rate, and I was the clay model in their hands, to do with 
as they wished. 

" We would walk and talk of my tour to America, we 
sometimes even counted the money I would make. Then 
sometimes I would be on my dignity with my parents. 
* No,' I would assert, * I shall not stay in America. I 
will come back to Europe and build a fine big stone villa, 
all white and splendid. It will set out into the water 
some place, like Chillon, and there I will work in the sum- 
mers and live with my princess.' 

DolizodbyGoOgle 



6t 'Bagar ReveUp 

"Yes, I had a princegg, Thatah; mj uncle named her 
prmceit the first time we saw her. Every day, we met 
them, she, and a woman of about thirty-five. They 
seemed to have selected the same hour in the park, for we 
always met them and in usually the same place. She 
was pretty, Thatab, a good deal like you. She had soft, 
white skin, and light hair, and the daintiest, sad little 
mouth. We would see each other coming in the distance 
and I felt that she saw me, too, although when we passed, 
lier eyes were always searching the ground. 

" That went on for weeks. It was bashfulness on my 
part, or else fear that my uncle would discover the queer 
little thrills which surged through me at sight of her, 
that kept me from being more brazen. 

" One day we came upon them at a turn of the path 
and for the first time our glances met. She looked at 
me. I blushed hotly. I was conscious of a throbbing 
joy that was very new to me. And like a coward I looked 
away." 

The musician paused to tell Thatah that there was 
something in him that always made him hesitate at im- 
portant moments. 

" I believe I should run away if they told me my sym- 
phony was to be played," he said. " There is something 
in me that makes me fear to hear good news. Perhaps 
it is the unbelief I have in my good fortune . . 
Well, I looked up again, just to catch her eyes as she too 
looked up. I saw that I was not mistaken in thinking 
that she had recognized me. Her face grew red and 
white at that instant. I was sure of it 

" ' Uncle,' I cried, when they had passed us. ' Who 
is she, that girl, who is she? ' 

"*Sie ist hiibsch, unsere prinzessin, nicht wahrP' he 
answered. 

** * Gott ! ' I cried, * sie ist wunderbahr.* And I turned 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar RtveUy 6S 

in the road and studied the place where our eyes had met. 
It was strange, strange, Tbatah. 

" * Oh, why didn't I say something 1 ' I cried. ' I could 
have dared. Why didn't I say " Good morning, Frau- 
lein," — anything. Oh, why didn't I say it,' I begged in 
agony of my uncle. 

" At least I had not. It is that way in life. The 
thiug that is most worth having to you, the thing for 
which you have yearned, comes to you so suddenly, that 
jou dare not grasp it, 

'*For three weeks I had dreamed of her, had talted 
to her in my fancies. And now when I met her, my cour- 
age had forsaken me. 

** After that she came no more to the park. The 
companion had probably noticed, or she had gone away, 
or I had hurt her. Oh, I had a hundred reasons for her 
staying away. 

" Then, one afternoon, it was a year afterwards, I 
played with the symphony orchestra at one of their usual 
popular concerts. I played a sad, melandioly Chopin 
Polonaise Fantasie. 

" To one the piece was filled with thoughts of suffering 
and gloom and IJiat day I felt it indeed as I played. For 
my father had been taken ill the Friday night before, 
and at the same time my master had told me that I must 
fpve up my violin if I wished to do solo work, as it was 
ruining my fingers. I remember as I sat down at the 
piano that I encountered my master's eye. He bad 
probably noticed my feelings and be gave me a little nod 
of encouragement. But he had been mean enough to me 
before I went on to the stage. ' Play with feeling, for 
God's sake,* he had begged of me. * You are a music 
box, a cinematograph. 

"I was at the piano. I was nervous. It was the 
biggest thing I had yet attempted and the cruel words 



64 Hagar Rev^y 

of my master tormented me. When I was about to begin, 
all alone on that great big platform with the musicians 
of the orchestra sitting quietly back of me, I felt like 
a sicklj stripling, 

" I thought of Goethe's ' Nur wer die Sehnsucht kennt.' 
Strangely it gave me some strength. My hands went 
down to the keys for the opening cadenza. . . . 

"They told me afterwards that I played well. My 
professor took me by the shoulders, and shook me. ' Du,* 
he cried, 'you youngster, you will play yet some day,* 
Ah, those were very sweet words, Thatah. 

" They were still clapping their hands out in front, 
I heard a few bravos ; and I walked back onto the stage, 
bowed gravely, mechanically, three times, as they told 
me I must do. I followed their instructions. And then, 
right down there in front of me, in the first rows, a spot 
of hlue caught my eyes. It seemed to stand out, my 
eyes were caught and held by it. I can't explain how 
my youthful heart beat. It was my princess again. 

" I waited tOl the concert was over, and then hurried 
around to the front of the house. ' This time I won't 
lose her,' I said to myself. No, not if there were a dozen 
companions with her. 

" She came out nearly among the last. By her side 
was the same woman. I walked directly up to tbem, 
'Did you enjoy the fantasie? ' I asked. 

" * Oh,' she said, as she gave a little start. And then 
what made me fall more deeply in love than ever was that 
she made no excuses for talking to me. 

" * I enjoyed it so much,' she said, seriously. Then, 
turning to the woman by her side, * Herr Revelly, this is 
Mme. Klochert. My name is Gwenola Sabruya,' she 
added sweetly. 

" When she mentioned my name I felt as if I were lifted 
to another world by her lips, Thatah, 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



Sagar ReveUy 66 

" t met her in the park the next monmig at the usual 
time. Mme. Klochert was & kind woman and let us have 
tnanj Bweet moments alone. It went on for nearly a 
month. Every day I would meet her, we would talk and 
be silent together, and every day my heart was filled with 
ecstatic happiDess. In the middle of the night, I would 
sit up questioning myself, for its reality. 

" Then — there came the beginning of sadness. Mj 
tower of dreams was dashed to the ground. A little note 
from Mme. Klochert told me that they could not see me 
again. She was very sorry, she said, but that day they 
would depart for a little holiday in Aix-les-Bains, and 
then they would go hack to Rome. But I could not see 
them in Rome, because there ' Mademoiselle was under 
other obligations.* They would always pray for my fu- 
ture. 

" I found out the truth. She was the daughter of a 
lady of the court, while I was a musician, albeit my music 
was ' wonderful.' This rang to the last chime my unhap* 
pinesB. 

" A week later, my father died under the illness that 
had kept him in bed for a month. I had to take pupils. 
There were four of us, two sisters and my brother, and I 
had to work* to earn money. It was diiFerent now. No 
more applause, no dreams, no more Chopin ; for I had to 
give up the piano now — but I could not play Chopin 
after she left me, anyway. 

" That was the end, Thatah, and my romantic mind 
suffered terribly. I likened myself to Byron, to Heine, to 
diopin himself — I suffered with despair. My flower had 
died before I had smelled of its fragrance. 

" That night I stole out to the edge of the town and 
there, lying flat on my back, on the soft grass, watched 
the red of the sun fade into the horizon and blend with 
the grey and blue of the evening sky. Every ,«tar ^Mt 



66 Bagar ReveUy 

twinkled brought to me a message of lost success and 
happiness. 

" Oh, Thatah," he continued, " you think it makes no 
difference when ;ou have these youthful dreams? But 
it makes a great difference. Love remains unchanged 
through life, everything else changes but that. Only in 
yonth, we are brave, strong, and we dash ourselves against 
the stone walls, not minding at that time if we bruise or 
wound ourselves. It is fine, though," his eyes brightened 
with the thought. " We are innocent, our senses are 
dulled, our intelligence is numbed, and we are entranced 
as if by some wonderful reality. . . . 

" Well, I came to America," he went on. " I had nearly 
completed the ' Gwenola Symphony ' by this time and a 
contract that I had made with an orchestral society here 
in New York made it fairly easy for me to come over. 

" After a year I met a young American girl, your 
mother, and married her. She was not of German par- 
entage, nor was she musical, but we were very happy to- 
gether for a time. Her name was Rena Gibson, and I 
thought that in her I had found the fulfilment of tlie 
other, the girl in Rome. But it was not to be, Thatah," 
— he turned his eyes to the floor — " for you, better than 
anyone else, know what our marriage has been." 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER Vn 

It was only « day or two later that Thatah went to her 
father's bookcase and in a book came across a line that 
seemed to have been written for her. It was the first 
time she had ever dared to delve into the Professor's li- 
brary. He bad often warned her that his books were too 
deep and unhappy for her. " Read some of the American 
writers, for a year or two yet," he would say. 

" But I thought you wanted me to learn real values," 
she would argue. 

** Yes, but I don't want you to plunge too deeply into 
the truth at the beginning." 

And he would bring home to her a novel that told per- 
chance of a silly love-affair between a man and woman, 
where to win the maiden, the hero disguised himself as a 
plumber and stole her off in his wagon, along with the 
tools and lead pots. 

She saw that she could not dare to let him know what 
really lay buried within her, that she could not let him un- 
derstand that she too had her thoughts. It would make 
him wonder and become unhappier, she told herself, if 
be knew how she suffered, and how she hated life. 

Neither could she tell him that the thing that kept 
her so resigned and calm was not that she lacked under- 
standing but that she had solved the problem of living. 
She laughed at her own audacity as she thought of it. 

Her philosophy was this: There was only one thing 

in life to have, and that was the thing one wanted most. 

Days, weeks, years, made no difference, for so soon as 

ST 

DolizodbvCoOglc 



68 Hagar ReveUy 

one understood what it was one wanted, one need onlj 
fight to get it. And there was nothing to have after that 
but the enjoyment of it. So what difference was there 
if one waa twenty or fifty years old ? 

It was this philosophy that had made her forget about 
time and only wait for the great thing to happen. She 
wasn't really sure what the great thing was. Sometimes, 
in the dead of the night, she decided it was the love of 
some good man. Again she thought it would be to be- 
come a great writer, or a musician, or a worker among 
the poor. It would probably be the last, she thought, 
because she was not prepared for the others. 

In this state of mind she had gone to the little bookcase, 
not looking for anything other than diversion, and when 
she saw such long queer names: Nietzsche, Strindberg, 
Ibsen, Stirner, Hauptman, Tolstoy, she quite decided to 
leave them secure in their resting places. She was so 
attracted, however, by one weird title, that she took down 
the little book. The title suited her exactly. It was 
something light, she fancied, and she was so sad. " Gay 
Science ** by Nietzsche. 

But the very first lines she glanced over seemed to 
strike her a queer blow in the heart that made her throb 
and flutter. Then she went further and read something 
which though it mocked her, sickened her even, seemed 
to make her every previous thought clear and definable. 
The lines seemed to tell the real truth. The words stood 
out in front of her eyes: 

"This life, as thou liveat it now, and hast lived it, Thon 
shalt have to live over again, and not once but innumeraUe 
times; and there will be nothing new in it, but eveiy pain and 
every pleasure, and every thought and sigh, and everything in 
life, the great and tbe unspeakably petty alike, must come again 
to thee, and all in the same series and soccession ..." 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar ReeeUy €9 

Thatab put the book down, for her ejes had filled with 
tears. After all, the little philosophy she had constructed 
had only been built to fool herself. Of course, every- 
thing was empty, her own life, her father's, her mother's, 
Mrs. Neer's. What did they live forP What this great 
man said was the truth about life. 

Thatah took the little book in her anna and carried it 
to her room, as if it were precious and might drop and 
be broken. Locking the door after her, she sat on the 
bed, with her legs crossed under her, and read, devouring 
with beating pulse all the burning irony of her discovery. 

The finding of this book opened a new life for her. 
She was always happier now and felt a pity for those 
poor people about her who were so ignorant. She be- 
came kind to them and put herself out in little ways to 
please them. 

And then began for her a period of self -questioning, of 
searching for something that was realler than what she 
knew. It was like taking her inside-self, the self she had 
kept from her mother and father, and putting it into some 
deep box, and then looking down at it. In her ears had 
been poured words that told her that she was odd and 
different — her father had called her his " vildes kind.'* 
Now she had found the explanation. 

Thatah was happy those days. In the evening she 
talked to her father of his music, his work for to-morrow, 
anything • — to be able to get back to her room and live 
in her books again. 

In one book she found a mention of the friendship be- 
tween Turgenief and Flaubert; odd stirring names for 
her. She went to the public library and when the girl 
back of the desk handed to her " Mme. Bovary," the name 
written on her slip, Thatah noticed that she stopped to 
eye her. At least Thatah felt conscious the girl was do- 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



70 'Hagar ReveUy 

iDg this, and she slipped out of the place as though guilty 
of some wFODg act. 

But she cared very little. "What do they nndeiv 
«tand? " she reassured herself. 

It was raining and the streets were slippery and as 
she stepped from the street car to the paTement, the book 
accidentally fell from her grasp onto the muddy street. 
When she stopped to pick it up and wiped the mud from 
the open pages, a line caught her eye : " Emma grew 
thinner, her cheeks paler, her face longer — " 

She hurriedly reached home and read on and on, with 
the door locked. Soon she was as deeply interested in this 
new work as she had been In the other and it was not long 
before she was familiar with the wonderful picture created 
of a woman where love was gnawing and eating at her 
souL 

Once she stopped numbly in the middle of a passage, 
crying ; *' Oh, how wonderful ! " She saw a parallelism 
between Emma Bovary and herself. Hadn't she gone to 
bed night after night, aching, hungry, yearning? And 
hadn't she known what it was to keep others from undei^ 
standing for fear of abuse? 

Thatah read the book through in two days. Her heart 
pained, her eyes burned for the poor woman. 

This reading had a very evident effect on Thatah, and 
the professor that evening questioned her. But she only 
explained that she felt dispirited for no reason that mat- 
tered. 

He startled her, by saying : ** Oh, my little giil, life 
is sad, and sweet and bitter, all at once. You dont 
know. It hurts my heart that you should work, but 
what can we doP I love you, I love your dark eyes, and 
your little thin wrists, and your little mouth that 
quivers and trembles so when you talk. It makes me 
think of a baby just opening its eyes for the first time 

L ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



Hagar ReveUy 71 

and findiag there ia too much light. Yes, I hate it, Tha- 
tah, but we've got to be practical. We are in a land 
where we sweat for the music and the dreams we make 
' for other people. And they think they have paid us be- 
cause they have given some of their money. Ah, little 
dear, they call it art. They say : ' Here is two dollars 
for you. Give me a chunk of your life.* Yes, that is 
what they do," he went on, shaking his head, 

Thatah smoothed back a few grey-turning hairs. 
** Don't, dear," she interrupted, made unhappy by hear- 
ing his serious talk. She was near to telling him of the 
book she'd found and its soothing recognition of all the 
horrid things he talked about. Then she hesitated in her 
caresses, and he, noticing, asked her what she had in- 
tended to say. 

" Oh, that it doesn't do any good to be so Berious," 
she spoke with emphasis ; but tiie words rang so untruth- 
ful in her ears that she felt compelled to leave him and 
busy herself with the portfolio he bad placed on the 
table. 

Revelly studied her for a long time. 

** Thank God you don't know, my dear,** he said, re- 
garding her as she stood with her back to him. His head 
shook rhythmically with each word. 

It was many minutes after, when Thatah thought she 
could no longer bear the odd staring way he gazed at her, 
that he turned around to the piano and with a deep sigh, 
gradually stroked and caressed the keys until they broke 
for him into sweet, soft chords, and dainty little arpeggios 
that ran mysteriously up and down the keys. 

Then Thatah joined him, sitting quietly by his side, 
gazing into his dark grey eyes, and feeling that his period 
of scrutiny had passed. 

For a time he played at random and then as he kept 
on, fell into a climax of strong octaves and deepened bass 



78 'Hagar ReveUy 

that shook the room. It wa« as if here were some voice 
imprisoned, working and working, in its tempestuous way, 
at the bars that imprisoned it. 

And as she leased over his shoulders and listened to the 
fiery melody, a strange picture was brought to Tha- 
toh's mind : That his heart was the music box of his be- 
ing and that harmony in the shape of a key, was the only 
thing that would unlock it. And she saw that the key 
was worn and luety, while the doors remained fast. 

The idea was so queer, she was on the point of inter- 
rupting him and telling of it, when he startled her by 
saying, as if he hod been reading her thouj^ts: 

" You know, lliatali, what is the trouble between us, 
your mother and me? Well, we are all like delicate in- 
struments, violins or harps, and everyone, anyone, can 
play on us. And those that love us and understand the 
kind of music we can give, play real melodies on us, tunes 
that bring out all the sweet harmony, all the real human 
feeling that is in us. Or else, they bring out discords, 
dead, sobbing tones, which is not the kind of music we 
are fitted to give to them.** He added sadly, " Yes, we 
are funny little violins, Thatah, all of us, and some peo- 
pie make us give them such bad, pitiful muBic." 

His voice was a little broken as he turned away from 
ber. ** Heine knew this. And he, too, suffered the same 
way." 

He was back at the keys, when he added: " You must 
know Heine some day, Thatah, when you are older.** 

Then he lost himself again in a wild melody, yet a 
melody so tender and noble and caressing, so full of yearn- 
ing, so like a sighing, or a half-muttered appeal, that it 
seemed to Thatah that here was revealed the hidden m(m 
she knew was her father. She felt she had never known 
him so thoroughly before. They called him eccentric, 
weak, crazy, " with no business bead,** but as she studied 



HagOT ReveUy 79 

the bent figure, it seemed that now, for the first time, she 
was meeting the real father. 

Revellj must have been conscious of her speculative re- 
gard, for he suddenly wheeled around on the little stool 
and with a voice that was stirring and passionate, said: 
"Thatah, you hear this music? You — you — bring it 
out of me, my little girL** 



=dby'GoogIe 



CHAPTER Vm 

Whbh Thatah and her father went to the office of the 
Metropolitan Opera House, where she was to receive the 
position the professor had arraoged for her, they were 
ushered into a large room whose high waUs were covered 
with pictures of the various performers at the opera. 
The familiar thick face of the great tenor, in costume 
for Rudolpho, the petite, dainty figure of Cho-Cho-San, 
and all the rest, made Thatah feel as if she were shifted 
into another world. 

" Mr. Graveur will come in any minute," remarked her 
father, after they were seated. " Don't seem so bored. 
You will like the work. It is good here." 

The door opened and a tall man whose age was in the 
forties, came in and greeted them. He was deferential 
and kind. 

" My daughter, Mr. Graveur. Thatah, Mr. Graveur." 

They shook hands and all sat down close to a heavy 
mahogany table, on which were piled innumerable books 
and papers. 

" Your father is an old friend. Miss Revelly, and I 
hope well find something to keep you interested," began 
Mr. Graveur, smiling. 

Thatah thought this a very nice way for him to say 
her job was ready. 

They talked on about different things for a few min- 
utes — the orchestra, the new director, and the prima 
donna, who had stopped a recent performance because 
the kimona for Cho-Cho-San*s baby did not fit. 

Thatah had been given her preliminary instructions 
74 H>^lC 



Hagar ReveUy^ 76 

and they were on the point of leaving, when a little tbin- 
faced woman, very nervous and excited, came in without 
knocking. 

The father and daughter stood b; while she inter- 
viewed the secretary, and Thatah waa given her first view 
of life behind the stage. 

** Oh, Mr. Graveur," the woman cried; *' what is it you 
think they have done now? Well, my name, understand, 
that is first in Warsaw, in Moscow, right at the head of 
the Ballet, right under our leader, is now put after that 
nasty woman Mr. Perrini likes. I told you it would be so. 
He likes her. Everybody knows it." 

She went on to say It was terrible that in America an 
artist must bow her head, because another woman had a 
pretty nose. When she was pacified and had left, Mr. 
Graveur explained to Thatah that as he was also secretary 
to Mr. Perrini, the impresario, he was compelled during 
the summer to take all the complaints. 

" I'm like a social secretary in an embassy," he said, 
smiling. " The Ambassador does as he wants and has me 
do what must be done." 

Thatah was required to be at the Bureau at ten o'clock 
the next morning. Work was pOing up for the opening 
of the season, and the memory of the past soon became 
lost in her many new occupations. 

As the days went on, she wondered to herself some- 
times how hardships could be so easily forgotten. She 
was astonished, too, to find that she actually enjoyed her 
work, and to notice that it was with a good deal of 
genuine pleasure that she went to Mr. Graveur's office 
each morning, and that what she did there seoned to her 
really not like work at aQ. 

Mr. Graveur was soft-voiced, and his big stature and 

hardened face made the words he spoke seon even kindlier 

than they really were. To hear him say, ** That's it ex- 

_,..■ . t.OO'MC 



70 Hagar Revdlp 

actly, Misa Revelly,** aa he did when she performed some 
task correctly, was very sweet to her. 

Gradually she forgot all the quarrels, forgot how she 
had suffered in the knowledge of her mother's rendezvous, 
forgot even the stupid sordidness of the boarding house. 
Little by little ail the details of her former life escaped 
her. She came to look back upon that past time as some- 
thing to be viewed separately from anything in which she 
now took part. 

Whenever she called at the little office upstairs for her 
salary* she would say to herself, musing over the situa- 
tion : " A week ago, I came here — two weeks — three 
weeks.** But it seemed almost as if it were the only life 
■he had erer Imown. 



i:,,G00gIf 



CHAPTER IX 

Althouoh Thatah found herself placed so happily in her 
new position, and her father was at least temporarily 
more pleased than he had been since the parting of the 
family, Mrs. Revelly was compelled to travel on a road 
less smooth. 

One day soon after her conversation with Nealy, she 
came home to find the following letter lying addressed to 
her on the dressing-table in her bedroom : 

"Darting Mother: 

I beard your talk with Mi. Nealy. I was in yoar room and 
I could not help it. I heard what yoa said and for the last 
few days you don't know how nnhappy I have been tbioking 
about it Ever since then I've been thinking what I shall do. 
Yoo know liow much I love you. I am not going to let yoa 
be unhappy through me. So I have thought about it very much 
and I know that if I could go some place so that yoa two can 
be together without me, then he won't think about me and 
everything will be all right Honestly, I know Mr. Nealy 
doesn't care for me and he has never said anything to me except 
what yoa have heard, but I tliink I ought to go away. 

That is what 1 have arranged to do. And it is only because 
I love you, mother. You know that. I am not going to let 
yon be unhappy throogh me. I have made up my mind to get a 
job some place anyway as I have not any right to stay at home 
and not do anything. I think every girl ongbt to work and 
make some money. Even if she was rich she ought to do 
something. I have been to Siegel-Cooper's and Macy's. But 
they did not have anytliing for me and so yesterday I went to 
Rheinchild's Department Store on 6t:h Ave. and I got a good 
job there. Mr. Herrick gave me a letter to somdiody he knew 
77 l...O(i^>>IC 



78 Hagar RmOlg 

there. He doesn't know bat whftt yon wanted me to do it, 
and please, mother, don't let him think any different, becaose 
be has been ao nice about it. I moved my trunk just now while 
yon are down town and I'm going to leave this rai yoor dresser. 

Please don't worry because I am all right. Miss Gillespie, 
tbe lady who is in charge of my department, told me where I 
could get a nice room at the boarding house where she lives. 
So I went there and got an awful nice little room right next to 
hers. It is at 297 Fiffy-sixth Street and that is where I am 
going now. The lady of the house is real nice too, bo every- 
thing is all right I told her I was from Albany, because I 
tboQf^t maybe if I told her I lived in New York, she would 
wonder why I didn't stay home. You know I could not tell 
her the reason for that. 

Now please don't come after me because I am doing this for 
yon. I will write every day and come and see you all the time. 
I love you with all my heart and I know how unhappy you ace. 
Yon were unhappy enough when father was at home. 
Yoor loving daughter, 

Hasab." 

At first Mrs. Revellj could not believe that this was 
anything other than childish humor on tbe part of Hagar, 
but gradually she began to realize it was true, and was 
OTercome by a spell of grief and hysteria that neither 
Fanny nor Mr. Nealy could quell. 

Her impulse was to rush immediately after Hagar and 
bring her home by force. But Nealy advised other- 
wise, thinking that Hagar's wilful nature might make her 
more rebellious and obstinate than ever. 

So she immediately wrote a letter to Hagar, which 
Nealy promised to take, without in any way indulging in 
a verbal argument: 

" My dear darling Hagar: 

Your letter has come like a stroke of lightning, and it baa 
itrliken yoor poor mother. For Ood's sake, Hagar, don't be 

L ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



Hagar ReveUy 79 

ao foobsb. Yoa don't know how terribly onhapp; you are 
tnaldiig me. So please, please, come back and don't be so 
foolish. Mr. Ned.y is taking this letter to yon, which provea 
that ererythiog is all right. He watched me write this letter 
and yon can understand that he wouldn't take it to yon, if he 
felt anything like what you think. And I am not coming after 
yoD, which is what I should do. 

I can't believe that my own dear Hagar should do such a 
wild, impulsive thing. Of course, dear, I know you love me 
and that you think you are doing right because it is for my sake. 
But please think, dearie, and know that this is bringing me a 
tliousand times the onbappiness I would feel even if the other 
were true. 

Please come back with Mr. Nealy. 

Your heart-brokoi Mother. 

P.S. — When yoa do an unforeseen act Uke this, darling, ft 
acares me, and makes me feel that I have raised you to be as 
old as jou are and still do not know yoa or understand you at 
all. Haven't yon been happy at home^ Ob, my dear child, it 
makea me think of how quiet you always are around the house. 
Snrely, it isn't because you think I am doing wrong. No, I 
won't beUeve that My darling, you must come back with Mr. 
Nealy. The torture your mother shall suffer until her little 
one comes back, will be unendurable." 

" Mother: 

I am writing this while Mr. Nealy is waiting. He says be 
is going to take me back by force if I don't come back will- 
ingly. Now, I will not have him do anything like this, and it 
wiB only make matters worse. 

Honestly, I like it here. I have got a dandy job at Rhdn- 
child's, in the waist department, at six dollars a week And Mr. 
Greenfield, one of the owners, and managers, aays I can get 
seven or eight dollars pretty soon. I like it here a lot. Mr. 
Nealy will tell jou that I have a nice little room with a pretty 
red carpet and the sun coming in through a real big window. 
I have been thinking since I left this afternoon and I know 
that I am not doing any good at home, just ban^ng around. 



80 Hagar ReoeUy 

I think that girls ought to iroik, like men. So please, darling 
mama, do not worry and let me do this. There are some girls 
and felloTB here and the landlady says that they have a dandy 
time playing and singing at night in the parlor. Really, I was 
getting so lonesome all the time at home. That was why I 
was so qniet. I do want to work and make my own money. 
Just think how nice that will be. And if I was making eight 
dollars a week I could bring some of it to you. You can rent 
my room and that will help a lot, too. And then you know it 
will be the same about Mr. Nealy if I come back. And I want 
you to be happy. 

All my love. __ 

P.S. — Mr. Hertick says he will call on me here. He is to 
nice, mother. Please do not say anything to him, as I would 
hate to have to explain why I really left He thinks every- 
thing is all right. 

I have rented this place by the month anyway and of course, 
couldn't give it up. Mr. Nealy says you are side in bed because 
I have gone away. Please, mother, do not worry and I will 
come and see you as soon as yon say everything is all right, 
and that you won't hold me end keep me from coming bade 
here. I will not leave here now and am going to follow the 
plans I have made." 

"My preciom ChUd: 

I'm in bed and they won't let me leave. Oh, Hagar, why will 
yoa persist in driving me nearly crazy? I can't understand 
you. When Mr. Nealy came in so silently just now and gave 
me a letter instead of bringing to me my precious girl, I nearly 
fainted. He was disgusted and would not answer any ques- 
tions, only saying, ' Read — read.' 

I see that I can't avoid having you away from me to-night. 
Oh, darling, you are breaking my heart. I am so weak and 
trembling and have terrible pains in my head. But if Mr. 
Nealy would let me I would come to you to-night anyway. 
And I would hold you in my arms and kiss your dear little 
cheeks, until yoa understood. 

L,.,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



Hagar ReveUy 61 

H«gar, yon sre young and unpuUlTe and I bave aIwB7§ let 
you have yoor way. But this is too serioiu. I am Haming 
myself for not explaining to yoa more fully my relationship 
with Mr. Nealy. I feel that maybe yon are thinking of this. 
Surely yoa know a mother's love is different and the atmos- 
phere in our home has always been good and pure. But you 
are making me blame myself terribly. 

We mustn't write any more letters. It makes me suffer too 
much. 

Don't be so foolish as to worry about the agreement about 
the rent Well fix that. 

If you don't come as soon as yon get this, I am coming to 
you, whether I am aide or not. 

My darling, I lore yon. Please come to my open arms." 

" Dofiing mother: 

I will not come home. That is, not now. I am going to stay 
the month ont here and decide one way or the other. Then if 
everything ie not the way I think it is, I will come home. 

I only received your letter just as I was leaving the bouse this 
morning for the store and am writing this during my noon 
hour. Mr. Nealy came to the store about a half hour ago and 
made a terrible scene, talking about child-labor, and everything, 
and then be got excited and tried to pull me in front of all the 
girls. I hate faim and would not think of going home now. 
He has not got any business to put his hand in my affairs like 
that. You ou^t to have seen him. He was acting just like 
he was crasy. You can imagine bow I felt in front of all the 
girls. 

I never saw anybody so mean and excited and I hate him. 

I am all right and please don't worry. 

Your loving daughter, 

Haoab." 

Hagar received a short note from her mother on the 
following day. It said : " As you wish, my poor, foolish 
girl. I see it is of no use to force you, and jou are very 
thoughtless and stubborn. Still, I want ymi to know that 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



82 Hagar ReveUy 

the home is always waiting. I am coming to you as soon 
as I get up." 

Many times in the following days, after an exciting 
interview with her mother, Hagar would stop short to ask 
herself whether she ought to hold out against her mother's 
wishes. But she had begun to enjoy and appreciate her 
new life, and she was loath to give it all up. She had a 
new understanding of things — an understanding that 
would make her stop short in the middle of the street, 
and ask of herself questions. 

There was much fun in the evenings fop her at the new 
place, and for the first time in her life was she able to 
buy things with her own money. At the store, too, she 
came in contact with so many new people and ideas. 
She soon learned that in the ways of the world she was 
like a baby, and this was something she tried to over- 
come at once. She was really ashamed to let anyone 
see how little she knew and understood. Listening to 
the other girls' conversations, she would stand and won- 
der, asking herself why it was that she had been so igno- 
rant and learned so little. The other girls had so much 
pleasure out of things that she could not understand at 
all. It gave her an intense craving to get a peep into 
the world and be as wise as they. 

Other things came up, also. For the first time in her 
whole life, she bought in the hosiery department, at a 
special rate, a pair of silk stockings. This she did on 
the day she received her first salary and as she walked 
away from the counter she believed that there was com- 
ing to her, for the first time, a peep into the glories of a 
strange new world. 

After a number of weeks had passed, Mrs. ReveHy 
seemed to be reconciled. There was always in her mind 
to comfort her the feeling that Hagar would soon return, 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar RffveUy B8 

and that she must let the impulsiTe nature of the child 
run its course. 

Although mother and child saw each other very often, 
Hagar would never eat at home nor take the chance of 
meeting Mr. Nealj. There was no doubt that Hagar, 
who at first had left home because of a desire that she 
should not be the cause of her mother's unhappincss, was 
now 80 much happier in her freedom that she could not 
think of giving it up. The days became for her, instead 
of monotonous passages, vehicles that lightlj bore her to 
other roads. 

At last she saw that her repeated pleadings that she 
be left alone had succeeded, for Mrs. Revelly rented out 
her former room to a joung public school teacher, Ha- 
gar when she heard this, felt that now she was at last 
permanently established Jn her new life. 

She had meantime begun to meet and take interest in 
the people of her new circle. Perhaps of them all Miss 
Gillespie, who lived in the next room, was the moat sym- 
pathetic and kind to her. This woman was a thin, freckled 
face, energetic little person and the two very shortly 
struck up a friendship. Hagar learned from the nervous 
little woman a great many new things. 

One night. Miss Gillespie made a confident of her. It 
all started with giving her opinion about a girl whom 
she knew in the chorus of a musical show on Broadway. 
From this, led by Hagar's questions, she went on to tell 
of her own marriage and the outcome of it, 

" Oh, but isn't divorce wrong, Miss Gillespie? " Hagar 
asked. 

" Not a bit of it! " was the woman's vehement answer. 
•* AH this rot about the moral side of divorce makes me 
sick. It's like the pale-faced woman who says she won't 
tue rouge because it isn't right. She neglects a remedy 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



84 ^agar ReveUy 

that might make her better looking, just because she 
thinks there is some moral reason, and jet, the result is 
physical because her looks stay the Bsme. That proves 
she's not logical. And it's the same with divorce. You 
can stay miserable if you want to, if you think it is wrong 
to get a divorce. But I didn't have any scruples along 
that line. He was a fool and a brute and I got rid of 
him. That's all there was to it." 

With the lamp throwing its soft g^ow through the red 
shade, they sat on the end of the bed and talked till mid- 
night. It was the first real conversation with any woman 
except her mother, that Hagar had experienced in her 
sixteen years of life. 

She found Miss Gillespie a peculiar person, who talked 
gaily, then of a sudden became so quiet that for minutes 
she sat without even a movement of her body. Sometimes 
she would change her mood so suddenly that Hagar, from 
sheer perplexity, would not know whether to laugh or be 
silent. 

Once she did laugh rather inopportunely, and Miss Gil- 
lespie looked at her with dull grey eyes just showing from 
between the lids. " Oh, don't laugh at me," she said. 
" Just listen and I'U teach you a lot, little sister." 

One night, after they had become more intimate, Miss 
Gillespie broke into tidking rather fully about her life. 

" No, it hasn't been all gay with me, my little friend, 
I can tell you," she told Hagar. " The world kicked me 
pretty good once, and I am just kicking back. I married 
a fellow because I really thou^t I loved him, and atl he 
married me for was because he wanted somebody to be 
with him. I was the only one with whom he kept com- 
pany, or who paid any attention to him. Then he made 
love to me and I took it all in and believed it, like a big 
fool. 

** Yes, he would have made love to a bronze figure in 
DoiizodbvCoogle 



Bagar Revettg SS 

a museum, if there hadn't been anything else around. He 
was that kind of a man. You don't want to believe men, 
anjway. Tbej make love a lot of times, just to see how 
wdl they can do it, just to see if they've lost their hand 
at the game. Well, we weren't married very long before 
I found out how selfish be was, and that I was just a piece 
of furniture to him. I rebelled, and it got so, after that 
first big fuss, that I just couldn't stand him to come near 
me." 

She stopped her narrative long enough to interpolate, 
" Oh, you don't know what a wonderful thing it is, just to 
want to have come near you the man you want. I tdl 
jou nobody ought to marry unless they've got that kind 
of a feeling. People may have money, big homes, and a 
lot of machines tagging them around ; still if they haven't 
got that great big throbbing feeUng in their bodies — 
why, nothing amounts to anything. That's what makes 
a lot of these rich women do so many funny things, like 
running off with their coachmen and chauffeurs. Yes, 
that's my religion — that is, if I ever get married again.'* 

She fell suddenly into one of her trance-like silences. 

** Where was I? " she asked after a moment. Then as 
Hagar reminded her, she went on: "Well, I got a di- 
vorce, made up my mind that feeling and all that is very 
well if you both have it, but that it always puts a woman 
in the hole if she't the only one who has it. Maybe it's 
all a joke anyway." 

" Don't you think youll ever get married again, Miss 
Gillespie? " asked Hagar. 

The woman took Hagar's hands and gently fondled 

" Call me Mabel, child — you know me well enough for 
that," she said. 

" Won't you ever get married? " persisted Hagar. 
Miss Gillespie smiled, somewhat queerly. 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



86 Bagar ReveUy 

" Well, no — not unless I find a man who loves me so 
much hell forget whether I love him or not. And that 
will never be." She thought for a time, then went on : 

" It's strange, little friend, all right. Just like the 
way the rounder watches his little sister. He is bad right 
enough, but he wants that little sister to be as pure as 
snow. I ^es8 that is about the way I am. When I 
come across the man who is as good and innocent in his 
thoughts as I ou^t to be, then I'll make him marrj me 
before he knows it. But I don't believe you con find that 
kind any more. At least, not in the big cities — in the 
country maybe, but then they'd be dummies." 

"What difference does it make where a man lives?" 
asked Hagar — she could guess, but she wanted to keep 
Miss Gillespie talking. 

" Why, in town the men are all bad. Women are an- 
other sex to them, you know, and they feel their duty is 
to win over them, show their manliness, get the best of 
them just like savages — one tribe against another. 
And they've got the money to pay for it. That's it." 
In a more shadowy voice, she said: "And I guess there 
are some people who get married, along just such lines." 

She continued slowly and quietly now, nearly solilo- 
quizing to herself, while Hagar listened. 

** Yes, the man I want is the man who knovs and yet 
stayB good because his heart is good. You know the 
man who saves the girl from drowning because he is a 
good swimmer is no hero. He only does his duty. And 
that is the way it is with being good. It takes tempta- 
tion, sin all around, to try you out. And then when 
you're good, little girl — why, then you're good." She 
broke off into a whisper. " And I'm bad, and I only tell 
it to somebody like you, who is just starting out, when we 
are together like this, when it's dark and the walls don't 
listen, and I can tell it straight 

L, ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



Hagor HeBeQ^ 87 

" Vm unhappy because Vm bad, and yet — I am not 
bad ~ like other women. It's all in my mind. I just 
want to get even with them for what they^ve made me go 
through. You're just starting out. Oh, I hope youll 
ncTer feel the way I do. . . . You won't if you take 
my word that only the really good people in the world are 
really happy ! " 

Hagar went to her work the next morning with a feel- 
ing of sudden maturity, ebbing in and out, like the tide, 
through her being. She had come upon a great, new, in- 
deliDable thing. It seemed to pervade her. All of a 
sudden she understood how her mother, or Thatah, or her 
father, could be ead or happy over nothing but the con- 
ditions of things. Hitherto she had always thought 
that only sickness or injury could make one suffer. 

Often before she had said to herself as she watched the 
misery of others, "Why are they unhappyF Tliere 
hasn't anythmg happened." Now she imderstood. 

This new understanding filled Hagar's days for her 
now. She did not find as much pleasure in playing the 
childish games, or in singing ragtime songs of an evening. 
Very often she would go quietly to her room and sit by 
the window, happy to have a moment alone in which she 
could think- Many times she would find herself standing 
quietly in some public place wrapped in thought. This 
would make her angry and she would clench her small 
fist and try to fight off the queer feeling tliat enveloped 
her. It was strange how little things would plunge her 
into this mood. Often it would come just at the sight 
of some man whose face she had not even seen, or in the 
passing of some stranger in a moving vehicle. 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER X 

Miss Giu-esfie had charge of the girls in the cheap shirt- 
waist department. She allowed them to have their way 
in a great many matters and accordingly was much be- 
loved, and the manager, Mr. Greenfield, gave her permis- 
sion to follow her own judgment, since she was so well 
obeyed by them. But the head of that side of the store 
was a tall and very thin lady, who wore glasses and a 
continuous smile upon a face which easily showed in its 
lines a very disagreeable temper. This woman was really 
in charge, but from past experiences the girls knew of her 
temper, and always carried their complaints to Miss Gil- 
lespie, who smoothed out each little controversy with 
Miss Gibbs in diplomatic manner. 

Under Miss Gillespie's tutelage, Hagar soon became well 
acquainted with the machinery of the big store. She 
would register the instant of her arrival on a, big round 
time machine, and hang her wraps away with the other 
hundreds of girls, just as if she were only another one 
of the prisoners in some jail and with as much mechanical 
unconsciousnesB as the others. 

Hagor became quickly initiated in other ways, too. 
Although Miss Gillespie was kind to her, she was com- 
pelled to submit to the rigid rules and regulations of the 
establishment with as close obedience as any of the other 
employes. One morning she was fined for being late, and 
again when a shirt-waist had fallen down from a pile, a 
floorwalker from another department came past and rep- 
rimanded her. She learned that the store had in its em- 
ploy detectives who were paid by the management to watch 



Sugar ReoeUy 89 

the girls quite as carefullj as they vatched the custom- 
ers. But it pleased her to be in a position where there 
was a constant stirring and interest, and the rules to 
which she was compelled to submit bothered her ver; little. 

One afternoon Mr. Herrick stopped in to see her, and 
found her waiting on a big fat woman, with a puffed red 
face, who persisted in having her take down one waist 
after another to inspect the lace or the collar, only to 
push it back disgustedly and to ask for something of an 
entirely different color or pattern. Hagar found her 
temper surging as she waited upon the woman and was on 
the point of asking for Miss Gillespie, when Ilerrick came 
up, his big broad shoulders looming above the crowd of 
women that surrounded the counter. 

And for the first time she did what she had learned was 
an easy way to get rid of troublesome customers. She 
passed the woman on to the girl at her side, who in turn 
passed the lady to another partner. But this girl was 
busy, and compelled the woman, whose temper had long 
ago become ruffled, to either wait or leave. 

Hagar and Herrick had not met for over a month. 
He had been compelled to go out of the city in connection 
with some contract that his firm had made, and he was 
now apparently very pleased to see her. 

"Well, some difference, Miss Hagar, isn't itP** he said 
as he greeted her. 

He looked at her close-fitting black waist with its little 
delicate lace at the collar. 

" You look — pretty nice," he faltered, in boyish fash- 
ion. " How are you? " 

" Oh, I'm fine, Mr. Herrick." 

** Your mother told me," he said, " that you didn't 
have to work, but that you were doing it of your own ac- 
cord. Of course, I understood, but didn't say anything. 
But you certainly did right." oiamzodb GooqIc 



90 Hagar ReveUy 

He looked around. One little woman with a bedraggled 
bird of paradise on her hat was holding on to the end of 
a coarse muslio chemise trimmed with cotton ribbon, 
while another woman had her fingers tightly clasped on 
the other end, both wanting the garment, and both having 
seeminglj discovered it at the same moment. At last 
Miss Gillespie was called in to settle the dispute over the 
bargain. 

"Do the; fight like that at jour counter, too?** he 
asked of Hagar, with an amused smile on his face. 

" No — that is — I don't know. We haven't had a 
sale since I've been here." 

" Well, if you ever need any help, call on me," he said, 
laughing. 

Before he left he made an engagement with her for the 
following Thursday evening. 

" Well go to some show," he said. 

** Gee, that'll be fine," she answered. 

And as she watched him walk out between the rows of 
women, who looked like pygmies beside him, she felt 
rather proud. 

Later in the afternoon Mr. Greenfield, the manager 
of the store, came along and stopped in front of her 
counter. Hagar felt the color surge to her face. 

"Well, Miss Revelly, how's the work getting on?" 
he asked. 

Although be had been stopping at her counter nearly 
every day for the past few weeks, she still felt bashful 
whenever he approached. It may have been she was 
conscious that the eyes of all the other girls centred 
upon her, for she knew how very seldom it was that the 
manager stopped and talked to any of the others. 

She replied to bis question, *' Oh, I'm getting along 
fine, Mr. Greenfield." 

He had already passed on, had even nodded a parting 

I ,l,z<»i:,.,C00gIf 



Hagar Reveliy 91 

greeting to Miss Gillespie at the head of the aisle, wben 
he turned and came back to her. 

" If you get tired, don't hesitate to sit down," he 
said, in a soft, kind voice. " You don't look well." 

"What did he say to jouP" asked the girl at her 
aide, as soon as the manager disappeared at the head of 
the aisle. 

*' Oh, he — " Hagar was near to telling, but something 
whispered that it was more than an extra privilege which 
the manager had given her. She answered that he had 
simplj asked her how she liked the work. 

"What did you tell him? " 

The girl was eyeing her steadily, and it rather embar- 
rassed Hagar to be questioned so closely. It aroused 
her anger a little. 

"Why, what do you want to know for?" she said 
boldly. 

"Oh, don't be so innocent," came the girl's answer. 
"He likes you. I just thought I'd put you wise. I 
heard him asking Miss Gillespie about you as I was go- 
ing to lunch yesterday." 

Gradually Hagar began to realize the truth of this, 
and in one way or another she became aware of Mr. 
Greenfield's attentions to her. She even felt that he 
ought not be so kind to her, from a business standpoint, 
and she accordingly acted more digniiied than she felt 
when he passed a kind word to her, just so the other girls 
would not notice. 

In the following days he came to the aisle more often, 
never failing to give her some pleasant word of recogni- 
tion. And one day, he stopped long enough to tell her 
in low tones that she should come to his ofSce that even- 
ing to receive a letter which entitled her to the same dis- 
count price in any of the departments, that was allowed 
to the department heads themselves. To give such a 

oogic 



9S Hagar ReeMy 

thing to a salesgirl was unprecedeoted, thou^ Hagai' 
hardly realized it. 

" If you doD't need anything now, you probably will 
later on,'* he said, as he looked at the little thin silk waist 
that showed, through its worn threads at the elbow, a 
faint suggestion of her arm. 

Hagar thanked him, and that night, found her way 
to his private office. As she opened the painted glass 
door, a feeling of consternation and fear stole through 
her. She wondered how she would act in front of this 
important man. 

Hesitating for only a moment, however, she then 
gently knocked. 

Inside she saw Greenfield with his dark, shining, smooth 
hair and clean-shaven face, bending over the desk. 

He noticed her quite as soon as she had gained the 
room, and asked very politely if she would pardon him 
for another moment while he finished with some work. 

" Just sit down. Miss Revelly, I'll be through in a 
minute," he said kindly. 

When he had finished he pushed aside the paper that 
had occupied his attention, and looked up at her. 

"Did you have a hard time finding this placeP" His 
tones were so quieting she felt instantly at ease, and 
loosened her nervous grip on the cords of her purse. 

" I'm pretty hard to reach up here," he went on. 
" Last year I thought I would take a place back of the 
alteration department on the third floor. But I can 
work better here where it is so quiet, even though my 
friends do have to go on a tour of exploration whenever 
they want to find me." 

Hagar agreed with him that it was quieter here. 

" 111 make out your slip," he said, and took down a 
little bos of yellow printed cards. Writing her name at 

DolizodbyGoOgle 



Bagar SeveUp 9d 

the bottom of one, he handed it to her with a gentle 
smile. 

" There you are, Miss Rerelly, and let me know when- 
ever things don't go just right." 

" You are very kind, Mr. Greenfield," said she, with 
an intense desire to get out of the door as soon as pos- 
sible. 

He turned the knob for her and wished her good- 
night, and before she knew it she was in the elevator 
again. 

At the supper table that evening she experienced a cer- 
tain feeling of aloofness and superiority over her fellow 
boarders. She was not even bothered by the brassy voice 
of Miss La Motte, a chorus girl whom she abhorred be- 
cause of her heavily pencilled lashes. 

But, when she reached her room, the place seemed un- 
usually stuffy, small and uncomfortable. 

The days went by evenly enough after that and Green- 
field's kindness to her was a source of much happiness. 
Somehow bis notice of her gave her self-assurance and 
poise. 

Herrick came quite often to see her too, and she was 
always glad when she heard from him or found him await- 
ing her in the little parlor downstairs. 

He had been getting along very well and proudly told 
her that a design of his for a window had been accepted 
by the company. There was a good deal of comfort and 
pleasure for them both in their meetings, as he talked 
about her work and asked her advice on different sub- 
jects. He was still boarding with her mother but never 
discussed home matters. However, one night when they 
were going down in the subway to the Brooklyn Bridge 
station for Coney Island, he said very suddenly, *' I can't 
understand why you don't come home." 

DiailizodbvGoOgle 



M Hagar ReveUy 

The train was rushing through the dull warm at- 
mosphere and he had to speak loudly. 

" You come there often enough, why don't you move 
back? Just think how nice it would he to see each other 
all the time like that," 

" Oh, I couldn't do that," she replied. 

"You couldn't?" 

« No." 

" I don't see why not." 

" You don't know — all the facts," she said mysteri- 
ously. " If you did you wouldn't ask me to go back. 
Then I'm happier the way things are, anyway." 

" What are — the facts ? " 

She hesitated. " Oh, just a family secret," she an- 
swered, refusing to divulge anything further. 

The last closing days of the gay resort were approach- 
ing and they found very few people. Everything looked 
so dreary, they decided they would first go to some pa- 
vilion and get a drink. And it was after they had 
reached a restaurant done in Japanese fashion, and were 
sitting over a lemonade and a glass of beer, that she 
suddenly broke the long spell of silence and put to him, 
a hypothetical question, embroidered in words that were 
forcedly disinterested. 

" Tell me, Mr. Herrick — " 

" Call me Frank," he interrupted. ** You mi^t as 
well. I guess this is about the tenth time I've asked 
you to!" 

She lauded. " Well, Prank, then, if you'll have it 
so. I'm going to ask you a certain question and I want 
you just to answer it iha way I ask it, and don't think it 
applies to me or anything." 

He was very attentive in the instant. 

** At your service," he said, with a mock effort at being 
dignified. 

DolizodbyGoOgle 



Hagar ReveUy 8S 

** Well," she continued with deliberation ; ** if you were 
a girl who lived at home, with her mother and her father 
■ — ■ and — your father was — dead, and another man loved 
your mother very deeply — and you found this other man 
was beginning to care for you and breaking your mother's 
heart — 'what would you do then? Wouldn't you leave, 
too?" 

He looked at her in surprise. " Is that your case, 
Hagar P " 

" Why — of course not. But I know a girl in a fix 
like that." 

** What did you say too, Sot, then ? " 

"Did I Bay — too?" 

*• Sure, you did." 

**Well, I don't know why I said that, I didn't mean 
to," she replied, much confused. 

The young man gave her question some very deep and 
apparent thought before he answered her. " I don't 
know what I would do, Hagar. If I was the daughter, 
and thought the man loved my mother bo, I'd wonder, I 
suppose, why they didn't get married." 

" Oh, I forgot to say that in this case they couldn't 
get married because the man was so poor." 

Herrick puckered his lips, " Rather a complicated 
affair, isn't it ? " Then he asked why the man didn't 
work harder and make more money. 

" Oh, he can't make money — he's a writer," she an- 
swered, innocently, 

Hernck thought for some time, interspersing his ques- 
tions with shallow gulps of beer. Her problem changed 
him into a person of serious mien and ruffled brows. 

" It's pretty complicated," he said at last. " But I 
suppose it would come down to this. If that man cared 
enough for my mother, he wouldn't care for me — and 
if he cared for me, I suppose my mother would be ^ad 



96 Sagar Reo^y 

if she knew I cared for him. But if the girl doesn't 
care for him and the mother — " 

" Oh, you don't understand," she exclaimed. " Let's 
talk about something else." 

He looked at her a little hurt. It seemed to him that, 
had she given him time, he would have cleared the situa- 
tion. 

*' As jou wish, mj child," he said, with the thought 
that Hagar was a strange person. 

Then he suggested a ride on the switch-back. 

" Oh, I'd be afraid," she cried, at the same time glad 
of the suggestion. 

" Oh, you needn't be. Ill — hold you ti^t," he told 
her. 

He bought the two tickets of a vender in the middle 
of the empty street, and then going through the turn- 
stiles they jumped into the last seat of a moving machine 
as it whisked past them to a stop. 

" It's better in the last seat," he explained. 

For a moment the little wheels began to more under 
the cars, and the car had no sooner gained a momentum 
as they rushed along the shining, black, narrow tracks, 
than they reached one of the steep inclines. There was 
a grating, screeching sound, a sudden jerk, a plunge, 
and a withering jar as they flashed up on to a high turn. 

" It's a little scary, at first, isn't itP " he said loudly 
in her ear. " This isn't your first time, is it? " 

She shook her head, thinking it better to answer him 
in this fashion than to yell a reply above the din and 
clangor of the rushing cars. 

Then they whirled past a curve into a long, black 
tunnel-like passage. Here it was very dark and the two 
cars tore along madly, as if the first one were a frenzied 
thing, running away from the desperate, plunging pur- 
suit of the second. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar ReoeUy BT 

With one hand Hagar held tightly to her red sailor 
straw hat, while with the other, she franticall; grasped 
a narrow brass rail in front of her. 

And now came a precipitous lunge of the cars, with 
two shorter jerks followed hj another and deeper plunge. 
It made her cry out in fear. Her hat was tearing loose 
from her hair and she felt herself whirling around and 
around, and thrown from one side of the car to the other. 

Herrick kept one hand back of her and as they passed 
around the last curve, partly by intention, he allowed 
himself to come against her. 

Hagar felt his arm around her in that moment and 
his face against her own. A second later and their car 
glided gracefully into a long, well-lighted passage-way, 
lined by people awaiting their turn. 

" Do you want another trip? " he asked, as they stepped 
out. 

" Lord, no ! " she answered. 

She waited until they were well out of the building 
before she spoke again. Then she surprised him by 
bursting out with a great show of temper. 

"What do you mean, Mr. Herrick, by trying to kiss 
mep " she said to him fiercely. 

" Why, I — I was only holding you in the car," he 
answered with a guQty smile, as much as to say : " Well, 
what difference would it have made if I had? " 

" Well, don't you do it again," she said hotly. " You 
don't act like a man — who understood women." 

No sooner had she said the words than she wondereH 
whence they had sprung from. They sounded strangely 
familiar to her ears. Only after some time did she recol- 
lect a conversation in which Miss Gillespie had related 
how she had handled a man that got " too fresh." 

Herrick and Hagar walked along for a few minutes, 
the entire space of the sidewalk separating them. - . .^,1,, 



98 Hagar Revdtff 

Then he spoke up. " It's no use for you to get so 
worked up about it. I like you and you knoir it. And 
we've known each other pretty long anyway. We're not 
children, any more." 

She appeared to be weighing his argument, then in a 
manner that showed her temper had abated, said: 

** How old are you? " 

" Guess." 

**I can't." 

•* Well — just say anything, twenty-one — twenty- 
five—" 

" Oh, I guess you're about thirty," after appearing to 
have studied the matter carefully. 

Pleased a good deal because her fury had lessened, but 
more because she thought him much older than he really 
■was, he gave a boisterous laugh. 

** Why, I'm only twenty-two," he said. " Though I 
never let 'em at the shop know it." Very proudly he 
added : " They think I'm about twenty-eight, I sup- 
pose." 

They talked on, quite friendly again. Knowing that 
he was nearer her own age seemed suddenly to make the 
situation infinitely pleasanter for her. She could not 
word the thought, but had she been able, it would have 
been that now he seemed less the lover and more the 
friend, or better peijhaps, that he was more a playmate 
and would understand her games. Hagar had a pe- 
culiar understanding of men, which made her feel in- 
stinctively that from the older men should she fear love 
making and that younger men were meant to be friends 
or playmates. 

It was past one o'clock in the morning when they 
reached her home. 

In the darkened vestibule, their faces quite touched in 
a search for the keyhole. Suddenly Herrick reached hi» 



Hagar SevOls 99 

arm around her waist and drew her to him, and with a 
dipIomaC7 bred by instinct and contact with her sex, 
he looked silently into her face. 

" You're a dear little girl, Hagar," he said, aad then 
gently, well before she was aware of it, he kissed her ten- 
derly, fimJy, on the lips. 

The silence about them, the faint rays of the electric 
light on the comer, everything that had a part in the 
situation, seemed to give silent consent. Nor had she 
a wish to offer resistance; though when she had nm up 
the stairs and reached her room, she could not account 
for her lessened self-control. Instead of being angry, 
she was queerly pleased and comfortable. She felt still 
the pressure of bis hands — and the imprint of his lips 
— felt this 80 stron^y she even went over to the mirror 
with an odd sensation of shame, to see if there still re- 
mained on her lips some sign of bis daring. 

She did not think that she loved him ; she really forgot 
his identity at that moment. It was only the kiss that 
remained by her — a picture, nearly the first picture, of 
an emotion created by a man. 

And the bouquet of it hovered perilously near her 
throughout the night, even anesthetizing her sense of 
duty, so that in the morning, for the first time since she 
had entered this new life, she did not hear the jubilant 
approach of day, voiced by the shrill cries of every alarm 
clock on her floor. 

Instead, she overslept herself, and was compelled to 
go to her work without first breakfasting. 



D,a,l,zt!dbvG00gl0' 



CHAPTER XI 

Not long after accepting her position at the Opera, 
Thatah discovered there was to be derived, even from the 
details of her work, a real pleasure. The simplest act, 
like going to the door and informing callers that Mr. 
Graveur would see them in a moment, gave her much sat- 
isfaction; it pleased her to interview, so nonchalantly, 
the great men and women she had hitherto onlj read 
about. 

There were always singers and musicians calling for 
their maU, or asking for the secretary, and she took 
great delight in hearing these people talk, or in study- 
ing the cut of their clothes. 

One day a little woman, with small, round face and an 
old faded parasol in her hands, came tripping into the 
private office and over to Mr. Graveur's desk without 
waiting for an announcement. 

" Hello, Louis," she said, in a high-pitched, piping 
voice. 

Mr. Graveur looked up, in a surprised way, and then, 
as 8 look of recognition swept over his face, said : " Oh, 
hello, Rita." 

" How about the contract? ** she asked directly. 

He hesitated. " Oh, well, Rita, I guess we'll have to 
wait until fall. I haven't heard from the other side yet, 
you know." 

She shook her head knowingly. " You are a cute lot 
here. But, I'll see you later." 

As the woman passed out, she said to the clerk at the 
little mail window — " Charlie, don't forget — The 
]^ys^ Palace — Paris, until November first." 

100 -. I 

DoiizodbvLiOOgle 



Hagar ReveUff 101 

Thatah waa on the verge of asking who the little ladjr 
might be, vhen Graveur exclaimed: "That wag Rita 
Fasale. She leads the ballet in Aida. She wants more 
money this year." And then, by way of explanation: 
*' I knew her in Milan." 

"She isn't the slave-girl, is she?" asked Thatah, re- 
membering the slight girlish 6gure in the first formation 
of the ballet. 

" Yes, the slave-girl, Thatah. She's married now to 
a fool in Italy. But she left him a year ago and brought 
her three children with her. Her eldest son is a cow- 
boy in La FanciuUa del West." 

" Why, she looks so childish on the stage." 

" She's got a good soul. That keeps her young," 
Graveur answered, adding that the little dancer's body 
was nearer fifty than forty. 

The days passed pleasantly for Thatah. Louis 
Graveur was an interesting man in many ways. She 
liked his soft, brownish hair turning grey over the tem- 
ples, his kind, grey eyes, the olive-tinted skin. Even 
his movements, so gentle and quiet, seemed to be a com- 
ponent part of his appearance. They seemed to match 
up with his physical aspect, just as some stretch of 
landscape may be compared in tone to a bit of music. 

He moved about quickly and always silently, yet there 
was something unusual and distinctive in the way he lit 
his cigarette or fingered a pencil on his desk. She also 
noticed a certain boyishness in his manner. Sometimes 
he would sit still for a long time, and then of a sudden, 
jump up and do what was his intent in a moment. But 
it was always done gracefully, and he would never upset 
things or crush the tenderest objects. He was the sort 
of big man who could carry a fly between his thumb and 
finger for half an hour and then set it free, unharmed. 

Thatah, who had formerly come to feel that she must 



IM Hagar ReoeB^ 

forever burj as something bejond hope, her secret yearn- 
ing for colorful things, found new interest in him. 

One tnoming he told her about himself. 

He had started out, intending to fit himself for an 
operatic career, but lack of money made him go through 
many hardships, and at last he was forced to give up. 
In Paris he was compelled to live amongst a group of 
other poverty-stricken students, and illness made work 
impossible; in Milan where he at last obtained an unim- 
portant part, the company disbanded. 

At twenty-seven he accepted a clerk's position in the 
business department of the MUan Opera, and from that 
time he had risen in this branch of the work until he had 
come to America to receive the office of Secretary. 

" Often when I fall to wondering over my rather un- 
expected fate," he told her, " I find it difficult to re- 
linquish my former desire for another life, or rather 
another career. When a tenor runs over the brilliant 
tints of an upper register, I find strange spasms in my 
throat. It makes me feel for a moment that I*II go back 
to it. Of course, it's too late now," he laughed. 

That day, she came back from lunch a bit earlier than 
usual and found him sitting studiously at his desk, ap- 
parently not noticing her. 

" You see how punctual I am," she said. 

He looked up at her. In his eyes came an admiring 
smile. 

" I wouldn't reprimand you if you were late," he re- 
plied. He thought for a moment. " Why, I haven't 
said a cross word to you in the months you've been here, 
have I?" 

" Yes, you have." 

"When?" 

Thatah thou^t of a conversation in whidi he had 
told her of an expression she always wore on her face. 

L ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



Hagar RevOly 108 

** When you said I was always sad-looking." 

"Well, wasn't that the truth?" Then he went on 
more emphatically, ** Why is it that you are always so — 
veil, aad, isn't the word, it is more that you appear to 
wonder at things, That ah." 

" I do wonder at things," she replied. " But is that 
strange P " 

" It's unusual — but you are unusual anyway, very 
unusual," he added, with a toss of his hand. " Do you 
know that? " 

Thatah took off her jacket and hung it in the cloak- 
room. When she came back she asked him why he 
thought so. 

" Oh, it's your little eccentricities ; you're so erratic. 
Last week you were very kind to me. This week you are 
so superior. I dare not look at you." 

Thatah drew her lips up a little haughtily. 

** That's the way I want to be. Grod pity those who 
are bo placed they can never do anything erratic." 

For a time they busied themselves with indexing the 
subscription list. Then Graveur began to talk of the 
state of mind of the different artists. 

" Some of them are so self-conscious," he said. " Now 
I've always been very self-conscious, nearly girlish in- 
deed, but X don't believe that I've been conscious of my 
arms and legs or of the impression I made on my fellow- 
men. It's more that I have been conscious of my state 
of mind, or the impression I was making on God." 

Before he went on he thought for a minute. 

" Oh, when I come to think, I suppose if I were an 
artist I would be as bad as the rest of them. I remember 
once, when I was a little fellow, that I stopped my crying 
just because I suddenly discovered that my tears were 
running down from the outside comer of my eye instead 
of from the inside comer. And again, one day: at about 



IM Hagar ReoeUy 

my seventh year, when I was sick and very pale, I climbed 
into a chair and stood in front of the mirror on my 
mother's chiffonier, watching myself growing whiter and 
whiter until I dropped in a faint to the floor. Now, 
how's that for self-consciousness P" 

" I think you might have made a very temperamental 
opera singer," was Thatah's reply, though, as she an- 
swered him, she thought how strange it was that he should 
to belittle himself before her. And she thouf^t, too, of 
her father with his meek manner. There seemed a cer- 
tain parallelism between these two men, though she could 
not quite name it. 

After they had finished the work and he was putting 
back the files, Graveur turned to her, saying, as he studied 
her face: " You know, Thatah, you puzzle me more each 
day. I hardly know how to handle you." 

This was really the first confession of a thou^t that 
had been bothering him for many weeks. He had dis- 
cerned long before from the manner of their conversa- 
tion that he could discuss with her, quite freely, almost 
any subject. And yet each time it was with some fear 
and trepidation that he would start to talk upon a sub- 
ject that was a little unconventional. Tliough she would 
discuss freely with him any argument which he brought 
up, there was always a childishness and naivety in her 
manner which he could not fathom. 

One day he came across in print, a theory advanced by 
a well-known professor, that had to do with the impor- 
tance of recognizing a state which the scholar called 
** Psychic Cohesiveness." He told Thatah about this and 
they spoke in a quite unembarrassed way about sex, as it 
concerned the theory. 

Thatah was surprised at herself, but somehow she 

felt absolutely free and secure in the presence of this 

man and was only glad of the opportunity be gave ber to 

_,..■ . t.OO'MC 



Sagar BtvOljf 106 

explain some of the Tiews that had come from her per- 
aistent readio^. 

The conversation had gradually drifted into a diBCUS- 
sion of the blind coarse that a woman of Graveur*B ac- 
quaintance had taken, and Thatah startled him hy the 
seriousness and depth of her views. 

" A woman can give herself in only two ways," she 
told him. " She may do it out of the joy of life and 
not follow any special moral rule, or she may do it be- 
cause she really cares. 

" In either of these cases I can't see what the church 
or marriage has to do with it. Why should she ask the 
blessing of the church? It is not a question of right or 
wrong but only whether or not you act sincerely, and 
that you are doing no more harm to others, than is need- 
ful to get some good for yourself." 

He knew her better after that. He found that beneath 
her long silences, her nearly perpetual sombreness, there 
was hidden an intense desire for life that was fairly prime- 
val in its innocence. 

He could not know the periods of self-searching and 
studying she had passed through in the last few months. 
Thatah herself felt she was immeasurably more wise and 
experienced than she had been only three months before. 
In this time she had observed the people about her, had 
looked into their lives, and compared them with her own. 

Graveur grew fonder of her as the days passed and her 
frankness was her best protection. Her little rebellious 
talks against conventions and life, only brought to him a 
greater reverence for the confidence, really increasing 
her goodness in his eyes. Here was a woman, new to his 
experience; a woman who lived in the very midst of sub- 
terfuge and continental liaisons, who still did not, for an 
instant, lose any of the maiden shyness or charm that 
comes from purity of mind. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



106 Bagar Revelly 

Once, in one of their unconventional talks, the; turned 
to Schopenhauer and his regard for women. Thatah 
bad read a little essay Graveur had giren her just the 
day before. 

" All the mean things he says are true, I suppose," 
said she. 

** True? " he exclaimed. 

She thought for a moment. " Except in one place, 
where he says women are horrid because they are too fat. 
I get him there, don't IP And he really is a way off 
when he says men are superior to women. He was prob- 
ably an intelligent person and judged all men by him- 
self, but I'm sure he judged women by only the women 
with whom he associated. And I guess they didn't know 
much. Intelligent men never run to intelligent women, 
do they?" 

Graveur arose from his desk. *' I believe you are 
becoming cynical, Thatah," he said, regarding her curi- 
ously. 

" Well," she replied, smiling and answering his stare 
in a child-like way, "What if I am?" It seemed that 
she was tempting him, even daring him to discuss the 
usually dangerous subjects. 

" Well, I don't want you to. You are too young for 
that." 

" Are you saving me for something better? " 

" I am," he replied. " And you will forget your 
ideas some day — after I have taught you my opti- 
misms." 

Thatah thought she discovered his hidden meaning 
and answered him in a surprisingly frank way. 

" Mr. Graveur," said she, " I admire you and I like 
you and you are so kind to me. And yet, when you 
look at me so steadUy, I somehow feel that you mean 
something that I — well, that I don't feel at all." 

L ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



Hagar ReveUy 107 

He laughed * little. " You are indeed frank, Tha- 
tah." 

" Isn't that the way to be? ** She looked up with wide 
open eyea. 

The conversation ended by the man telling her, in 
somewhat breaking tones what an odd and strange little 
person she was. 

Her relationship with this older man was the cause of 
much perplexity to Thatah. She realized that she could 
relieve herself of much misery and much real suffering if 
she would let herself find pleasure in being with him. 
But there was something more she wanted, though she 
could not explain it to herself. 

It bothered her to think that she could not forget this, 
and many times, while she was sitting at the side of his 
desk, she would tell herself that she must be more sensi- 
ble. And then Graveur would look at her in his kindly, 
affectionate way, and she would look down and blush and 
feel guilty because the old feeling of indifference would 
steal throu{^ her. 

But the other side of her life had not changed much. 

At the boarding house the days dragged by in mo- 
notonous recurrence. There was the same food, the 
same conversation, the same disdainful haughtiness writ- 
ten on the face of the poetess. And though lliatah felt 
that her lot was a little less trying since she had taken 
a position, still she was always harassed by a feeling of 
arid isolation that could not he overcome. 

For a time she even thought her father a little less mel- 
ancholic, a bit more buoyant and cheerful. But these 
spells would last for only a few days and then he would go 
back into his drab mood and be as sad as before. 

In the early part of December, when it was dark at 

six o'clock, she never failed to find him sitting in front 

of the little soft coal stove, his head buried in his hands 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



108 Hagar ReveUy 

and his eyes quite closed, ao that he wasn't even conscious 
of her entrance. 

He seemed changed in other ways, too. His words 
came softer, kinder, though as Thatah soon perceived, 
more replete with gloominess and analytical searching. 

One night, she came in covered with snow from a storm 
that had lasted throughout the day, and found him shak- 
ing with emotion, as if in some wOd dream. 

He gave a start, as she entered, and his face became 
pale and blanched. 

"What is it, father," she asked, thinking she had 
never seen him look so ill and aged. 

He answered simply : " Ah, I've been reading, reading, 
Thatah." As he handed her a book he said, " 1 find a place 
where Faust says to Satan : ' Je veux un tresor qui les 
contient tous. Je veux la Jeunesse — * " 

Then he quoted in English, *' 1 desire a treasure that 
contains them all, I desire youth." 

" Yes, Thatah," he went on. " It's youth — youth — 
and I haven't tt. Oh, be careful, little girl, and don't 
waste the years the way I have wasted mine — on some 
one who doesn't care." 

" You are thinking too seriously again,- father," she 
interrupted, taking his trembling hands and burying her 
face in them. 

He gently caressed her head, saying: "My girl, you 
are understanding more and more. I see it in you. And 
how glad I am. I want you to understand, I want you 
to know what there is in life. Oh, how wonderful it would 
be if you should grow into a woman who would not seU 
ner feelings and understanding, because of the fear of 
passing time. 

" Every life is a mirror, dear," he went on slowly, *' and 
reflected impressions stay with us. Yes, we must watch 
what we give to ourselves." 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar RmeUj/ 109 

Ab if be hesitated to word (he thought that impelled 
him, be said : " I think I can tell you now, Thatah. 1 
sec that you have grown." 

" What ia it, father? " 

He spent a long time in thou^t before answering her. 
Then as if it were an effort to convince himself of the 
truthfulness of his words, he told her that happiness 
only comes after one has disappointments to measure it 

bj. 

He went on, talking slowly and deliberately, as if he 
were telling the final result of long thinking, as if it were 
a document handed down as the complete result of a great 
problem. 

" The men and women who think and act as they fed 
are the real aristocrats in this world. And their suf- 
fering, the suffering that comes because of isolation and 
cruel misunderstanding makes their persistence noble 
and glorious. Yes, Thatah we must seek, always seek, 
and never give up. 

" Our work, our art, is only a bit of a holiday from 
the fruitless search. To yearn for something real, that 
you could feel in your very breath, against your lips 
and cheek, something, that if it were tangible and you 
could put it in the palm of your hand, you would know 
from its very convolutions to be happiness — ah, Thatah, 
that is the quest of hfe." 

From downstairs came the clanging sounds of the 
dinner bell, and in a moment, a maid at the head of the 
stairs had announced, ''Dinner, dinner — " but he kq>t 
on talking, and Thatah, thoroughly under the spell in- 
voked by the unhappy man, felt each word pierce into 
her being. 

Emon Revelly appeared to be consumed by the fire 
of his thoughts, for his eyes flashed with intensity, while 
his mouth, always so drawn and cold and lifeless, became 

DolizodbyGoOgle 



110 'Hagar Smettp 

excited and virile — tbe lips drew apart, the t«etli showed, 
be was a being in a atate of exaltation. 

" Sometimes," he said to her, in a voice that was a 
whisper, " I am throbbing all over. Yes, I get that waj, 
and then I can dissect my soul nearly. And tear out my 
heart, and lay it out before me as if on a table, and then 
say, 'You see that place there?' Well, there is where 
I imagined I was happy — a long while ago — before I 
understood. And it was a joke . . . And that 
placep Ah, you see that place too, do you? Well, there 

— I thought was real sympathy and feeling. Yes, a 
long while ago — before I understood. And it was a 

. joke. 

" Yes, Thatah, I can do that sort of thing sometimes. 
'And when I do, I gloat over it and become unhappier, and 
mock at my servitude to this throbbing thing called 
Heart. 

" Yes, it is because I see what a devilish thing it is to 
love, and yearn — that they call me crazy, Thatah," he 
added, as if in an afterthought. 

Thatah drew away from him. Her eyes were filled 
with tears. " Oh, father, you make lAe so unhappy talk- 
ing this way," she cried. 

He went on, not noticing. " Yes, to-day, at the or- 
chestra they called me crazy. Heineman called me that 

— because I feel too much what I play. They say I 
should play like they do — like a union man — a brick- 
layer — and when the dinner bell rings I should drop my 
music, my soul, and go eat with them, some ham and cab- 
bage." 

When he quieted for a moment, Thatah suggested that 
it was a poor idea for him to tell them about his under- 
standing and feeling. " They don't understand you, 
you know that," she said. " That is the reason you »uf- 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar ReveUy 111 

fer. Why doD*t you fool them and keep away from them 
what you feel and think. That is the reason that 
mother — " 

He internipted her quickly. 

" YfiB, your mother — well — she said I was crazy too, 
because she didn't understand me. No, Thatah," be 
continued somewhat bitterly, " I am ssne, normal, I tell 
you. Only no one can know what I am going through.** 

Noticing that his face at that moment became more 
pale, ehe asked him what was wrong. 

There was less strength in his voice as he said : ** I 
have a continual feeling, Thatah, very odd, as if I were 
slipping. It's been with me a long while. And thou^ 
I know it is only the state of my mind, yet I can't help it. 
I guess I haven't much left." 

" Why, father, you shouldn't talk so. You have your 
wonderful music." 

" Yes, perhaps I have. But one disassociates their 
life from their art. At least they should. In my life — 
weU, it hasn't been one that ran along brilliant and glow- 
ing with flame." 

" You feel too intensely, father. Your dreams are so 
high. No one could expect to reach them." 

" My only dream was for happiness. And that is 
everybody's rif^t." 

" You were happy in Vienna, weren't you, father ? " 
argued Thatah. 

" Very," he smOed, reminiscently. 

" Well, then, you ought to be happy here. I know 
you have a lot of friends in the orchestra, and other 
places." 

Her father laughed a little strangely. " Thatah, 
listen. Here is a quotation from the great Nietzsche — 
he says : ' They all speak of me when they sit aroniul 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



lie Hagar RffoeUy 

their fire in the evening — thcj Bpeak of me, but no one 
thinketh of me.* Nietzsche knew the world well when he 
said that." 

Immediately Thatah was aroused. 

"In what book is that, father?" she asked. 

" I am not sure. In ' Thus Spake Zarathustra,' I 
thinL" 

"You read him, a good deal?" 

"He is mj religion. Why, child?" 

** Oh, I thought he only made people happy." 

" Ah, happy. Nietzsche saw the impossibility of 
that." 

"But wasn't he happy, with his own philosophy?" 
she asked. 

" He was happy, my dear, in his disillusionment." 

Revelly arose now and with much effort went to the 
bookcase, and took out a book that contained on its front 
cover, a picture of the author they had been discussing. 

" I don't think that Nietzsche was an unhappy man," 
he said, as he handed the book to Thatah. " And still 
when you study his face you see it lined by sorrow. It 
was because his mind had used his face as a waste tab- 
let, there to trace its struggles, its doubts, its passions." 
The professor paused. " He found happiness in knowing 
that his message was new. 

** After all, no matter how ignorant or intelligent a 
person is, their happiness depends upon having something 
that fills their life so completely it blots out everything 
else. I remember a German student friend of mine in 
the old Vienna days. His whole life was centred in a 
certain pride he took in himself because be, of all his 
neighbors and friends, knew that to walk any great dis- 
tance without fatigue, one must walk with the knees bent. 
And he was an interesting sight, stalking about the 
streets, his knees bent, and a benignant smile covering 

DolizodbyGoOgle 



Hagar RevtUy IIS 

his face, u if be, of all the world's inhabitants, knew bow 
to walk. This bit of illusion filled his life and kept him 
bappj. 

** In Nietzsche's case, the man was obsessed by an idea 
wrought from his intelligence, and he was so wrapped up 
in the happiness of having it, that, I am sure, he luul no 
time to realize its sadness." 

Thatah suddenly perceived another aspect to his story. 

"Then why aren't you that way, father?" she ques- 
tioned. 

" I haven't anything to fool rae. That is the reason," 
he answered. " I am starving mentally. And I can't 
help realizing it." 

Only after many minutes of begging, could Thatah 
persuade him to turn from his soul-searching mood. But 
she did succeed, and when they entered the dining-room, 
she was surprised to sec him strangely gay and light- 
hearted, and to hear him greet each of the boarders with 
a separate courteous phrase. 

They had for supper that night, what Mrs. Neer called 
blue-fish. 

'*You care for blue-fish, professor?" asked some one 
at the table as he seated himself. 

" Yes," he answered, *' and I fancy that this one's 
blueness brought him into even greater tragedy." 

Mrs. Neer at the end of the table looked up at his 
vague remark, and scenting some slur in his speech, she 
frowned. " You mea'n it isn't good, Herr professor? " 
-— she always used " Herr " when in temper. 

" Oh," he answered, looking around nervously, ** I 
meant simply to say that this fish had some physical dis- 
order, even more than is shown by his mental state. I 
should say he was one of those unfortunate creatures 
that never attracted the attention of other fishes and to 
ffvw tough and shrivelled up." ( ikioIc " 



114 Hagar ReveUjf 

A distinct murmur passed around the table, aa Rerelly 
went on eating. In that moment even, though ThatiJi 
was conscious of the disapproval shown by the other 
lodgers, she offered up a little prajer of thankfulness 
that his spirit was lighter again and his mood bantering 
and playfuL It had been a long while since she had seen 
him this way. 

Then Mr. Samuel, the young man sitting at the side of 
Thatah, discoursed on a medical subject — the crtnated 
red hlqpd cell. ** It's this cell that causes all the mischief 
in pale, anemic women,*' he began. " My company re- 
gard ' Erythrohydrate * the new drug they are putting 
on the market, as a sure cure for this condition." While 
everyone watched, he traced with his fork a little ragged 
outline on the table-doth, showing the appearance of the 
crenated cell, and entered into a discussion concerning it, 
which confused very much, the middle-aged poetess. He 
talked about the women who clung to their maiden modesty 
with the unceasing efforts of a martyr. 

"Why, that's the trouble with these pale young girls 
you see all the time," he said, going on to describe an 
article which told that seventy per cent, of the trouble 
that bothered women was due to a change in the red 
blood corpuscles. 

" Our manager is going to quote that article. I tell 
you it'll bring in the letters of inquiry from the back 
woods." 

He was exultant and happy in the thought that all 
were listening to the marvellous words he had only that 
afternoon memorized from their pamphlet. 

Suddenly he was interrupted by Mrs. Cortello. 

" Don't you think, Mr. Samuels, we had better not dis* 
cuss medical subjects at the meal hour? " 

The boy blushed maiden-like. " Why, I was only ex- 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Sagar Revdlp 116 

plaining to Mias — to ProfeSBOr Rerelly's dauf^ter, the 

reaaon — ** 

He stopped short, emharrassed to find the different 
meaning he had taken of their silence, " I'm sorrj," he 
said, and buried himself in another helping of po- 
tatoes. . . . 

As time went on, Thatah went more resignedly to each 
meal, though they never ceased to be ordeals. It tore 
her heart nearly to smile inanely at some remark, or 
laughingly acquiesce with their judgment. 

" Yes, I quite agree with you," she would always say, 
finding it the better method to agree ; though no sooner 
would she reach her room, than her hypocrisy would slap 
her in the face. Often she wished that something would 
happen to keep her from ever again being compelled to 
talk to these people. 

As the winter passed, Thatah, looking back over the 
months, fancied that she had aged years. It may have 
been her new independence and resourcefulness that 
caused this, for now she found herself relying nearly 
entirely upon her own convictions, and did without any 
self-questioning whatever seemed in her own eyes to be 
right. 

Her greatest diversion was found about the opera house. 
Sometimes, in the late afternoon, when her work was 
finished, she would wander out into the auditorium and 
from some seat in the balconies, would look upon the 
heavy steel curtain that separated her from the mystic 
world that lay behind. And then her mind would dwell 
upon the lives of the people who nightly sang and lost 
themselves in the glory of their art She would compare 
their existence to her own. " How wonderful it must 
be," she would often say to herself. 

She would think of bow these people must fed with 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



116 Hagar ReveUy 

their tuunea leading the columna of the oeivspapers. She 
Baid as much, one mating day, when she was talking with 
a leading singer. 

" Oh, you don't know," the woman answered ; " you 
don't think of the hard work, the years over in Europe, 
and the atruggles." 

" But all that is paid for by your success," Thatah 
argued. 

" Well," said the singer, " I am thirty-ei^t now, and 
all I have to show for it is lonesomeness in my room at 
the hotel. The only thing to do is to marry when you 
are young — and watch the others be ambitious. Oh, 
one can't do both." 

Thatah felt she was sincere. " Surely you couldn't he 
happy, and talk tike that," she thought to herself. Yet, 
somehow, the fascination of what lay back of that steel 
curtain never left her. 

Spring came, and Thatah found that eight months 
had passed since the first day she started in the small back 
office of the opera. She looked at herself one evening 
in the mirror of a weighing machine at the Grand Central 
Station, wondering if she had changed. And it was with 
a prideful chuckle that she admitted herself even more at- 
tractive. 

She had learned to wear a low-necked shirt-waist, and 
over it a little piece of point tace that Mile. Frenaud, a 
singer, had given her, and as she was viewing herself in 
the narrow chewing-gum mirror, her neck looked rather 
soft and well molded. It pleased her so much that 
when she got into the subway train, she walked more 
gaily down the aisle. '* As nice as Hagar's," she re- 
flected. 

Though the days brought her some satisfaction, the 
nights at home were always the same; always the usual 
dreary, deadening conversation tn the front parlor, or 



Uagar Sevdlg 117 

dse a mood of her father which made her morbid and rest- 
less. 

The monotony and mediocrit; of the cheap boarding 
place was galling to her after a daj spent amongst her 
congenial surroundings at the opera. And each day 
found her resistance growing less and less. 

Once she wondered if they coukl not get out of their 
rut by going to some other better place. But when she 
mentioned this to her father, there was a scene, and he 
told her that he was not yet out of debt from the past 
winter, and that they must guard against the dubiess of 
the four summer months, when the orchestra was paid no 
■alary, and when he mifj^t not be able to procure a sum- 
mer position. 

*' We must be glad we are alive, my child," he said in 
the end. 

Those words grew in their proportions for Th»tah. 
Exactly why should she be glad she was ahve, if her life 
held no change in it? And a few days later, when both 
were given positions for the coming summer, she as a com- 
panion in a home in the White Mountains, and Revelly 
with an orchestra in Milwaukee, she was even more un- 
happy. The sick woman with whom the position had 
been obtained, offered very little in the way of pleas- 
ant diversion. 

One evening after the matinee she walked all the way 
to One Hundred and Forty-third Street, and all she did 
was to ask herself the question : " Why should I be 
glad?" She asked it again and again, almost fiercely. 

However, through Graveur's kindness she obtained 
many diversions, which helped greatly to keep her from 
being too miserable. 

Noticing that it pleased her to wander about in the 
atmosphere of celebrities, he called her into the inner 
office one day. She was aware of his intentions as fOpn 



118 Hagar RmeUy 

as she eotered the room, for only a fev minutes hefore 
she had admitted in to Mr. Graveur's presence one of the 
greatest pianists in the world. 

" Miss Revellj, Herr Voitner has expressed a desire to 
meet you. I have explained to him how fond you are of 
music." 

The h\g man arose at Graveur*8 words and held out 
his hand to Thatah. " You must come to my concert 
to-night in Carnegie Hall, Miss Revelly," he said, in 
fairly good English. 

And that night she enjoyed her first piano recital 
by a great artist. Her understanding of music and 
of the performer seemed to grow with each note. He 
had such a concise, well defined manner at the piano. 
His attitude from the very first moment spoke of mastery, 
and when later in the evening, he played through the 
intricate unkind movements of a Beethoven sonata, he 
seemed to have risen above all technical obstacles. Like 
a giant woodman abroad in some gnarled forest of 
massive oaks, he attacked the unresponsive passages, as- 
sailing with vigor their apparent resistance, throwing 
himself upon his work with an intensity that brought out 
the individual proportions of every measure. 

It was a wonderful interpretation of the masterpiece, 
and Thatah sat enwrapped in a trance-like appreciation. 

With nobQity and exaltation he played the grandiose 
opening bars, and yet when the andante movement arrived, 
there was a subtle ecstasy, a lambent coloring and expres- 
siveness about his tones that took away all his apparent 
strength and made of him a gentle shepherd, aloof in 
the field with his fiocks, or a young girl wandering 
through the shady lanes, gently chirping back the spring 
melodies that came to her ears. 

Thatah never realized until now what a manly art was 
this, where for perfection, there must at once be combined 



Hagar ReveUy 119 

the virility of intelligent manhood with the tendemeM 
and chann of the complete woman. . . . 

It also pleased her immeasurably to watch the re- 
hearsals. The soldiers marching to mock battle, the 
turmoil of shifting scenes, the pleading cries of the 
different orchestra leaders — all this interested her 
greatlj. 

One day Mr. Graveur joined her while she was sitting 
in the front row of the upper balcony. A long streaking 
light from one of the side windows pointed out to him, her 
shadowy form, as he came along in the darkness of the 
auditorium. 

" How are they doing? " he asked, as be came up. 

" Hush! It's beautiful," she whispered. 

It was the second act of " Butterfly " and their last 
rehearsal. Everything was in its place, the little cherry' 
blossom scenery, the artificial atmosphere shimmering 
in its golden haze. 

The delicate glory of it aiFected Thatah, and she sat 
motionless, and entranced, her hands clasped about her 
knees. 

" Hedwig is in wonderful voice, again, isn't heP *^ 
Graveur remarked, after a time. 

" Wonderful," she murmured. 

Suzuki and Cho-Cho-San were behind the holes in the 
rice-paper Shosi. The cannon had long ago told of the 
warship's arrival, and the charming music, so crooning, 
80 well shaded, with its wan, subtle nuance, came up from 
the orchestra and enveloped them. 

Then Graveur suddenly exclaimed "Thatah, I 
wonder if you ever think what all of this means? *' 

She turned around, her ^ance full of surprise. En- 
wrapped in the picture on the stage, she had become 
unaware of his presence. 

Without a word she looked back to the stage* while he 



ISO Hagar RcDeUjf 

went on, speaking slowly and softly. His dark eyes were 
shaded bj his hands, and as he talked he looked down onto 
the stage rather than at her. He seemed to realize 
Tbatah's thoughts were full of the impression wrought by 
the music 

" I mean that this sort of thing gives me something to 
think about. The music, the tragedy of Cho-Cho-San ■ — 
all of it, so human, so frail, so inevitable. Do you ever 
stop and think of the lives of these people on the stageP " 

** I think often," she answered in a whisper, 

** But roost people never look back of it, or at the end 
of it; on one side the yearning, embittering fight when 
they are young — on the other, the end, where the voice 
fails, and they get too old to convince their audiences, 

" No, I think people go to the opera like passengers 
ride on a train, never thiaking what is back of the singing 
any more than the passenger considers the engineer or 
fireman, 

" But they've got to go on just the same, child," he 
added, returning to his original idea. " Why, sometimes, 
you can't imagine how affected I become by all this 
glamour. I come out here and hear some one in the gallery 
cry his * Bravo ' — or listen to the enthusiastic applause 
in the boxes — and I feel that it is too unhappy a subject 
to even think about. It's because I know what it all leads 
to. Unless they are at the top, and we heed them, even 
after their voices have failed, half of these people 
now singing for us find their places soon taken by 
some younger, fresher voice. Then where do they go? 
They begin pleading with the management, the direct- 
ors — and if they haven't protected themselves in a finan- 
cial way, they find it is all past with them. And they may 
have sacrificed everything else in life for their ambition." 

"Age i$ a rotten thing, isn't it?" said Thatah, as she 
looked up. " But I believe you are a little blue to-dajr." 



Hagar ReveUjf ISl 

He BEoiled f aintlj. ** No, I am really not, child. Just 
remini scent, and thinking about myself." 

" You should be strong, though, and not talk so," 
Thatah said, her big eyes filled with an expression of 
pity. 

" One cannot help thinking sometimes.** 

"About what?" 

" Oh, age — " 

'* Which is Tery bad for one, dear man — yet age could 
be beautiful," she added as an afterthought, ** if it 
brought much to us." 

" Most often we only become older. That is about all 
there is to it.** He arose from his seat. " This is one 
of my bad days, I guess,** he said, ready to make his way 
off in the darkness. 

Down on the stage, the voices were blending for the 
finale. Butterfly had pierced herself with her father's 
inscription-covered sword; the orchestra's wailing lamen- 
tation was crowning the pathetic story. Soon the cur- 
tain descended. 

" I'll go with you," said Thatah. 

When they reached the office she said directly : " Why 
are you so strange? You confide in me and let me know 
all your weaknesses." She gave an odd little toss of her 
head, and even gently touched his arm, " And you are so 
important and dignified with everyone else. Why are you 
this way with me? " 

Graveur took her hand and held it tightly between his 
own. " Because I like you, Thatah. It is only not quite 
right, because you are not fond of me. But an old man 
like me shouldn't ask that, I suppose," 

" I am very fond of you, Mr. Graveur." 

*' Not fond enough — '* 

Thatah suddenly became rather serious. " I wish you 
wouldn't say such things," she said. " You make it so 



IXX Bagar RgveUjf 

hard for m& I am fond of you. But I am too insignif- 
icaDt in the make-up of things to deserve your caring for 
me. And then I am so selfish, so terribl; selfish, and that 
is the trouble. I want something — that I can't describe. 
It is something greater, something more powerful than 
what I feel with you." She turned away from him and 
her voice became more wistful. " Yes, that's what worries 
me — worries me all the time. You are so kind, so 
gracious, but I don't feel for you what I want to feel. 
That's it. And I couldn't make myself try, because then 
I would be lying to both of us. Oh, you do understand, 
don't you? " 

He smiled a little gravely as he listened to her words. 

" You're queer, bo queer, little Thatah." 

" I know it," she replied directly. " Yet I'm willing to 
keep on going through so many miserable things, just for 
the end." For an instant she seemed intensely interested, 
then said decisively; 

" I'll tell you why it is. It's because there doesn't seem 
anything else worth living for but just that thing, what- 
ever it is, that it is worth while having at the end." 

"Ah, you are wrong, Thatah. You will learn differ- 
ently some day. You are young now and you dare any- 
thing. But you will find that this love thing that every- 
one talks 80 much about, is only a phantom, a grotesque, 
turgid fancy, that fools every one at least once and then 
makes them bitter for life. I believe there is only one 
kind of relationship. It is where there is regard in the 
place of yearning, sacrifice in the place of craving. 

" I mean friendship," he emphasized. " It's friend- 
ship that is the biggest thing in life. Why it is much 
more difficult than love. And it is greater too, because 
in friendship you give instead of get. And it is more 
wonderful than love, because it is more fragUe. Love you 
can pull asunder, slap it and tear it to pieces and yet feel 



Hagar Rev^y 1S8 

that you have it BtQl with you. But 111 tell you the 
truth. You think you have it because in reality you 
never have it ; it is like other intangible, mystical things 
— like anything which is a product of the imagination. 

" But friendship is so difFerent. It is a thing that you 
can even see, /eel — because it is built on real material, 
because you have created it. It is glorious because it is 
something that gives constant pleasure, because it is so 
sure and quieting, and never a bit crazy like this thing 
they call love." 

While Thatah was held fascinated by his odd, wonder- 
ful manner of talking he told her of a case in the opera, 
where a leading soprano had met a man in Paris, and 
after a few days, had married him. 

" The man loved life for what he took out of it," con- 
tinued Graveur, " and when he met this woman, he pictured 
in her, a gifted, beautiful companion for his restaurant 
and boulevard day. And she pictured him as a loving 
companion who would comfort her and lift her out of her 
lonesomeness. They married — deeply in love, and I 
remember, were very hysterical about it. 

" And now, after only three months, these people are 
living their lonely lives again, separated from each other, 
-and she is getting a divorce with his consent. Why? Well, 
because they married for love, selfishness. She wanted 
him to be her companion and get out of him what she had 
pictured, and he wanted to get out of her what he had 
pictured. They wanted different things, but they wanted 
to get those things out of the other. She was domestic 
and retiring while he was gay. But they were both 
selfish, they wanted to get instead of give to each other. 
Now, just because they can't get out of each other exactly 
what they had planned, they are separated. Yet they 
called it love." 

The talk that afternoon aroused Thatah more than any 



IM Eagar ReveUy 

other coDverBation thej hod ever had together. He haid 
80 unfolded himself and had made himself so sincere and 
kindly that she was more affected b j him than ever before. 

That ni^t she sat in her little room, thinking, recapit- 
ulating. A dozen times she nearly decided that it would 
be wonderful to live with this quiet, passive man. 

She wondered why it was she couldn't feel in the ri^t 
way for him. It was so nice to talk to him, to hear his 
soft words. Yet the moment he touched hpr, something 
in her being seemed to demand release. It was strange, 
inexplicable. 

" Oh, if I only knew what it was I reoUy wanted," she 
begged of herself. 

From that time she began to study her own desires 
more. 

Often she looked through the little grated window of 
the ticket office onto the crowd of gaily laughing girls, 
quite her age, who came through the lobby decked in their 
magnificent gowns. It would end in her being over- 
whelmed by her own realizations. She would say to her- 
self: "They don't understand, they don't know. But 
look how happy they are." 

Once her Uttle rebellion ended by her going back into 
the cloak room and in purposeless fashion fiercely scrub- 
bing her hands. She didn't know why she should scrub 
her hands at that moment, other than that she must do 
something to distract her attention. And she murmured 
a half dozen times to the bare walls, " They don't under- 
stand, they don't understand." 

Thatah was no longer tranquil and resigned these days. 
Like the hunter in the forest who watches the horizon for 
the rising aim to guide him, she kept seeking in the 
distance for understanding and the fulfilment of her 
ambition. 

At times she believed that it would never be different 

DolizodbyGoOgle 



Hagar ReveUy lift 

for her, and once, when she was verj tired, she was on the 
point of deciding that she must estrange all of her jeam- 
ings and beliefs. However, at the end, she stayed close 
to her resolutions, and her helief that the ideal realization 
was something that came through the emotions, teoX and 
unconfined, never forsook her. She forgot all other argu- 
ments, forgot the chance of jears slipping hy, or the 
futility of her quest. She was only sure that she could 
never give up to circumstances. There were days when 
she was aware that the future might bring anguish, disap- 
pointment, sorrow. But if she tried to be more normal, 
and went out with people, and listened to their inane con- 
versation, and observed their petty demands of life, she 
came home always terribly bored, and feeling that she was 
surely right in wanting something more of life. 

One evening, in early December, everything was so 
monotonous she finally gave in to young Mr. Samuel's 
wish that she accompany him to a theatre. 

That night, however, just as they were leaving, her 
father had a sinking spell and they all stood around the 
bed until two o'clock in the morning. 

After that Thatah never left him in the evening. 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER Xn 

Haoab continued along the path of her new life with an 
ever-increasing interest. 

There was much to occupy her mind. 

Little by little, Greenfield made her understand that he 
was deeply interested in her, in one way or another exert- 
ing hims^f to please her. 

When the cold, sadder days in November came on, he 
arranged for her purchase of a little fur collarette on an 
instalment basis and one day, when a sudden sleet storm 
had come on, he sent down to her an umbrella. 

In response to a message from him one evening, Hagar 
went up to his office after the store was closed. It was 
well past six, and two others ahead of her made it nearly 
seven before she was able to see him. 

But she waited patiently and when he shoolc hands with 
her and asked her to sit down for a moment, while be 
straightened out an affair that was worrying him, she was 
inwardly pleased, and rather happy at the thought that 
he should want to get everything &iished before he dealt 
with her. She sat quietly at the side of his desk, noticing 
his pink, well-groomed nails, the careful appearance of his 
shoes and their up-to-date shape, his well-creased grey 
trousers. Sitting there, she recollected how different 
Herrick's hand-clasp was from this man's. VPlien Mr. 
Greenfield took her hand, he was not rough, but gentle, 
and did not squeeze her hand till it hurt. Mr. Greenfield 
gave only the faintest pressure. 

" I wanted you to stop in. Miss Revelly," the manager 

began, " as I have some really good news for you. We 

"*■ , .„ Google 



Hagar SeveUy 1JE7 

have decided to create the position of guide in this store. 
Bj this we mean some person, some young lady, who will be 
well dressed and who will show our country trade, all the 
different departments. It will be up to you — - yes, I have 
selected you — to gain a knowledge of aU the different 
features, like the babies* checking room on the third floor, 
or the lounging room for people who are tired or ill and 
want to recline." 

He went on in a measured voice: "This position has 
been given to you, of course through my direction, and I 
am awfully glad to see you have it." 

A kindly smile lined his face as he looked up. " I 
suppose you have no objections? " 

" Why, I — I am so pleased, Mr. Greenfield, I hardly 
know what to say," she faltered. 

He noticed how bewildered she had become. An ex- 
pression — half shrewd, half pitying, stole across his 
face. Then he resumed his former, businesslike tone. 

" The salary is twelve dollars a week. Miss Revelly, 
and will start on the coming Monday. You will be 
ready? " 

" Oh, of course," she replied, eagerly. 

He went on to tell her a few more things about the 
position. " You'll have to wear a black silk dress of good 
quality, like the models in the cloak department. Only be 
sure to put in some small piece of white lace about the 
collar and cuffs." 

Hagar's face changed expression at this remark, and 
divining her thoughts, he told her that if she hadn't the 
money to get this dress at present, she should go into the 
dressmaking department and order it, and have Mrs. 
Wheeler, the head-lady, call him up over the telephone. 

Hagar volunteered the suggestion that she pay a few 
dollars down each week, but he laughed very cordially and 
taid: " FU fix that end of it all right." , 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,GOOglC 



19(8 Hagar ReveUy 

" But I don't think it*s right,** she inBigted. 

He gently patted her hands. " You mustn't worry 
about that." 

Taking up her little black leather purse she arose just 
as he was looking at his watch. It had become quite dark 
by this time and the distant tramping of the janitor as 
be shut the heavy fireproof doors between each section of 
the store, resounded throughout the building. 

" Pshaw," he exclaimed, " I didn't know I was keeping 
you so late, Miss Revelly. I'm sorry. Where do you 
Uve?" 

His manner was sincere and she told him without a 
thought. 

Then he looked at his watch again, and seemed to be 
undecided, starting to propose something, then hesitating, 
and at last, as if arguing with himself, saying: "Well, 
it doesn't make any difference with me as I eat down town 
anyway, but I hate to think about you going home alone, 
Miss Revelly. Ill tell you what " — the idea appeared 
to please him immensely — '* we'll just drop in some place 
and get a bite and I'll put you in a taxi. It's all my 
fault." 

To Hagar this seemed the greatest goodness. That 
this important man should inconvenience himself for her, 
seemed too much to accept without some protestation. 

She exclaimed : " Oh, no, Mr. Greenfield, I couldn't 
think of it. You've been so good already and really, I 
don't mind going home alone. I only live two blocks from 
the subway." 

But Greenfield had on his hat and coat. " I couldn't 
allow you to go alone," he said authoritatively; "it is a 
good thing I thought of it." 

His words were so firmly and decisively spoken Hagar 
offered no more resistance, but fell in quietly with his 
plans. 

DolizodbvCoOglc 



Hagar ReveUy 1«9 

Going down the elevator with him, she was conscious of 
a certain pride and as she passed the counter where she 
bad worked all afternoon she had a queer little feeling of 
exultation. She was no longer a saleslady. 

In the street, they could not decide where to dine and at 
last, after perceiving that Hagar knew nothing at all 
about the restaurant life in New York, Greenfield men- 
tioned the name of an Italian restaur/int on Twenty-fifth 
Street. 

" It's a quiet place and you'll like it," he told her with 
enthusiasm. " They have great music there, too. Do 
you care for musicF " 

" Oh, I like it some, but I get tired of hearing too much 
of it. My father," she faltered somewhat, " was a 
musician." 

" It's funny you didn't take it up then," he suggested. 

" Oh, we got so tired hearing it. We had too much of 
it, I guess." 

As they walked along it seemed to Hagar that his at- 
tention was not at all upon their little jaunt, for be walked 
along silently, and every few steps turned around to look 
up the street. 

** It's pretty rough over here on Sixth Avenue, about 
this time of night," he said, becoming aware that she was 
observing him, "So if you see anything* that isn't just 
right, shut your eyes." 

A little further on they turned into a side street and 
then went up the steps of an old brick building where the 
sign — J, GALOZZO — swung out alluringly over their 
heads. 

** Youll like it here a lot," he said- " There seems to 
be a lot more people here than usual, but I guess you don't 
mind it's being noisy, do you ? " 

" Oh, no," she answered. 

Her eyes swept past the rows of white tables onto the 



ISO Hagar ReveUy 

blucMSoated musiciaos who were playing on a raised plat- 
form in the middle of the room. And when he stood off 
to arrange for a table, she thought how solicitous and pro- 
tecting be was, and how sadly Mr. Herrick, who was 
always thirsting for adventure, fell away by comparison. 
She remembered how the boy had wanted her to go 
" slumming " the very first night they were together. 
" I'll show you all kinds of things you never saw or heard 
of before," he had pleaded, and was angry with her when 
she hesitated. This man was so good, so fatherly, 
BO gentle with her. 

They had a very nice dinner, with a great many 
courses, and out of a long bottle Greenfield poured a thin, 
red wine. He asked Hagar if she would have some on a 
lump of sugar. 

" I never drink anything," she asserted. 

" I'm ^ad to hear that," said he instantly. " I don't 
think girls your age ou^t to even think of it, though 
many of them do. At least, they shouldn't drink in these 
public places." 

However, he drank part of his glass of wine, and ap- 
peared to like it. When the dinner was over, he ordered 
an amber colored liquor, which he said was Benedictine. 
" It isn't intoxicating at all," he told her. ** You can 
drink that all right." 

Hagar liked the place and its joviality immensely. 
Their table was in a sort of trellised alcove, and was away 
from the crowd. The gauzy red shades over the table 
lights threw a soft, warm ^ow on their faces, and matched 
up with the sentimental, languorous music of the orches- 
tra, while the liquor made her feel warm and restful. As 
she looked across the table to Greenfield, she showed that 
she was happy and pleased. 

Greenfield was playing with two lumps of sugar, which 
he had marked with black dots. . - , 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,L-'OOglC 



Hagar ReveUg 181 

" III match you," he said, " to see whether jou go right 
home or stay and listen to the music for another half 
hour." 

" Why, m be glad to stay," she protested. 

Since she felt that way, it seemed to her useless to put 
the question to chance, but he insisted and she took the 
little cakes of sugar and shook them in her hand in the 
manner he showed her. 

She threw ten, and he told her she'd won, adding: 
" It's no use for me to throw. I never could beat that. 
I guess we'll have to stay." 

Hagar shook the litUe dice again. ** Isn't that great 
fun ! " she cried, as they rolled between the plates on the 
table. 

" That's what they call dice — it's a gambling game, 
if you play it right." 

"With lumps of sugar like that?" She was much 
interested. " Oh, show me," she begged. 

Greenfield explained to her the rules of the game and 
the material out of which dice were made. " But, it's a 
man's game and little girls must not know about it," he 
went on. As he spoke, he dropped the little cakes into his 
wine glass. *' Some people's money melts away just like 
that when they play," he added. 

At that moment, a stout Italian lady, in a fine, full- 
bodied Broadway accent, began singing a popular melody. 
When she reached the chorus, everyone joined in, whistling 
or singing. 

"They have a pretty good time here, don't they?" 
Greenfield asked. 

" I should say," she answered, with her eyes beam- 
ing. 

Presently Hagar observed a couple across the room. 
The man looked to be older than Mr, Greenfield, about 
forty-ftve, she thought, and wore a red tie with a big, 



ISS Hagar ReceUy 

spaTldiog pin in it. The girl with him was about her own 
age. 

For a long time Hagar sat silently observing them, 
then her interest became more aroused when she saw the 
girl search for her handkerchief, and lift it to her eyes. 

" I wonder what is the matter with them," Hagar ex- 
claimed, pointing out the pair to Greenfield. 

" Oh, I guess they're lovers." Greenfield gave a sly 
wink to the waiter, who at that moment was presenting 
the biU. 

*' 111 bet something has happened at home, and 
that they are just coming here to try and drown their 
sorrow." 

The waiter farou^t back the change, and she sav 
Greenfield ehp a half dollar piece to him. Apparently he 
tried to do it so that she could not see the money, but 
the coin slipped from his hand just as he was pushing it 
under a plate. 

They were seated in the taxi, when she said rather 
sadly : " You spend a lot of money on me, Mr. Green- 
field. I don't quite know how to thank you." 

" Oh, that's nothing." 

TTiere was a smile on Greenfield's face and an expression 
in his voice that said he would like to spend a great deal 
more. 

" Some day we will go to a really decent place and get 
a square meal," he told her. 

They were at her front door in what seemed to Hagar 
a surprisingly short time. Greenfield took the key from 
her and turned the locli, but he skipped back into the cab 
before she had a chance to say a word of the little speech 
composed to thank him. 

All he said was, as he rushed down the steps: '*Take 
care of yourself, little girl." 

Until the flickering lamp at the back of the autoniob9$ 



Hagar RmeUy 18S 

disappeared into the night, she stood in the front ves- 
tibule, thinking what a nice man he was. 

Then she went upstairs to her room. So early in the 
evening sleep was an impossibility, and she busied herself 
with putting back the ribbons into some newly returned 
laimdry and then arranging it in the drawers of the 
dresser, the clean linen in one drawer and the little odd- 
ments, like bits of lace, a pair of white linen cuffs, and 
some handkerchiefs, in another. In her mind buzzed con- 
tinually the fragments of the Italian lady's ragtime song, 
mingled with thoughts of Greenfield and his kindness to 
her. 

She was still sitting on the edge of the bed, thinking in 
a peaceful kind of reverie, when she heard a knock on 
the door. It came so suddenly, she was a good deal 
frightened. 

"Who's there?" she called. 

" It's me, QueoUa LaMotte." 

It was the chorus lady who lived in the big front room 
on the floor above. 

" Golly, Miss Revelly," she exclaimed. " What are you 
doing up so lateF It's nearly two o'clock." 

" Why, I didn't know it was so late." Hagar pushed 
out a rocker to the girl. " Oh, won't you sit down? " 

" Sure, but I'll just stay a minute. I saw your light 
burning and I didn't know but what you were sick or some- 
thing. You're always in bed, or rather it's always dark 
in here when I come home." 

She placed on the white cover a great bouquet of roses, 
saying: "I've certainly had a funny time to-night. 
Yes, I've had a funny time," 

In vivid fashion she told how she had arranged with the 
chauffeur of the taxi that he should give her a free ride 
some night. 

" All I had to do was to run up a big fare. And I 



184 Hagar Revelly 

certainly did. I kept him going for hours after we left 
the Lafayette. It cost my rich friend exactly eleven 
dollars and seventy cents. I saw the metre." 

Turning to her purse she took out a cigarette. " It's 
a free ride next Sunday,** she explained between puffs* 
" or 1*11 know why. We can go together if you want 
to." 

For a time the girl continued smoking, taking deep 
inhalations and then blowing the smoke in a fine stream 
across the yellow fiame from the gas jet. 

There was a moment of meditation, accompanied by a 
wrinkling of her brows. Then she began again. 

" Say, Miss Revelly, I*ve been watching you. You're 
too quiet and sort of sad. What's the matter P I was 
going to ask you the other day, then I told myself it was 
none of my business, and so I let you alone. ' Don't butt 
into her affairs,' I said to myself, * Supposing she has 
got her troubles.' But now that we're together, maybe 
you can tell me? " 

She leaned over, saying in a whisper, " I believe you're 
hanging around that old maid Gillespie too much. You 
leave her alone. You don't know her the way I do. Why 
she gets on the worst periodicals, you can't imagine." 

" Why, I don't know what you mean ! " 

" I mean she gets drunk, soused — about every three 
months. She drinks like a fish. They last for two or 
three days at a time, too. Oh, we all know about it. If 
you're here long enough youll see." 

In Miss Gillespie, Hagar bad found her only real woman 
friend. Xight after night they had sat together, the 
older woman showing her how to mend her clothes, dam 
ber stockings. More like a mother had been this good 
woman. 

Hagar could not believe the girl's rash statement. 
But she controlled herself. She had learned the value of 



Bagar RmeUy 186 

silence, and only choked the words that came into her 
mouth. 

The chorus girl went on : " Yea, you're too quiet. 
You don't go out enou^. Why, you're a fool, a beauty 
like you. I wish I had your looks." The pencilled brows 
drew together. " Yes, I could do a lot, with a face like 
yours." 

Half to herself, Miss LaMotte continued, " They're 
all next to me. I haven't got the innocent stare, you 
know." 

Hagar moved nerrously into a chair near the window. 

Obserring Hagar's restlesBness, the chorus girl said: 
" You certainly are nervous, aren't you? But maybe you 
want me to go." 

" Oh, no, please go on," Hagar answered, trying to 
hide her weariness. 

"Well, what was I going to sayp Oh, yes — " Now 
came a rapid fire argument against being good. '* You're 
a fooL But you'll come around. I was that way before 
I got wise — used to buy silk stockings, and starve on 
eighteen per week — before I got on to the ropes. Yes, 
I had a hard time of it, too." There was a sigh of rem- 
iniscence in her voice. 

" Then I met — him ; the fellow I'm telling you about. 
And I've stuck to him for two years now." She yawned. 
** But I'm getting tired of him, though he m a perfect 
cinch. He's in the brokerage business, afraid he's getting 
old too quick — wants me to prove it to him. But I am 
getting pretty tired of my job. 

" Why, he's beginning to make love, real love to me. 
Now what do you know about that, after two years? " 
She made a gesture of disgust by drawing up her lip and 
nose. " He's so funny. I came near laughing in his face 
to-night. He told me how he'd lost his wife and how they 
never had any children, and now she lives in his memory. 



1S6 Hagar RmeUy 

Why I tell jou he's a perfect fool, mj dear. He Bays 
that he has discovered all of a sudden, that I look like her. 
She must have been a peach." 

" I should think that would please you," Hagar inter- 
rupted. 

" Oh, no, I'm all past that stage. I get so tired of it. 
Sometimes, you wouldn't believe how I feel. Why, I'd 
give anything on earth to know I was going to have a 
date with some fellow I wanted — you know what I 
mean — some fellow that would drive me crazy nearly 
when he'd just put his arms around me and kiss me. But 
I guess I've got to keep on seeing this guy. He's got the 
money." 

Noticing the passing of time, the girl became con- 
fidential, talking in nearly a whisper, so that Miss Gil- 
lespie in the next room, would not hear. And Hagar 
listened. The words came to her like some distant, far- 
away echo, the echo to her own troubled thoughts. 

She began to feel that something buried in her was 
taking form. At the store, she had heard the girls talk 
of strange subjects, veiled end clothed by mystery, had 
seen them happy and sad over this great thing that seemed 
on every lip, and she had wondered why it was that she 
could not learn of life in the way the rest teamed. 

The impenetrable depths of understanding deep down 
in her were beginning to take on life. 

Listening to the frank open conversation, with her eyes 
wide open and her lips apart, she found strange thoughts 
being worded, new impulses becoming impregnated within 
her. 

Hagar's first question of Miss LaMotte came strangely 
easy, even though she was nervous and shaky. " Tell me, 
Miss LaMotte do you — do you live — with this man, and 
does he give you things, like money and clothes? ** abe 

**''^* ,,z<.<i:>vCooylc 



Hagar Revelly 187 

The girl viewed her cuHoubI;, murmuring, **Wen, I 
will — are you fooling? Or are you just — " 

Hagar went over to her and put her hand on the jprl's 
arm. "I just want to know, Miss LaMotte," she said, 
rather frightened at the look that had come into the girl's 
eyes. " Really, I don't know anything about those 
things." 

" You don't know? *• 

** No, honestly — ** 

"Well, I will—'* 

** Please." 

The other soon came to understand Hagar*a utter 
innocence. 

**I wouldn't have believed it," QueoUa said, over and 
over again. 

Hagar explained further. " I'm really not fooling. 
I just want to know. Everybody talks about it so much, 
all the girls at the store seem to think of nothing else, and 
I just have to listen and keep my mouth shut for fear 
they'll find out how little I know. Please tell me." 

Then, the girl believed her, and told her a dozen little 
episodes, some frankly avowing her wrong, others more 
light in nature, which told of narrow escapes with really 
common men, who covered up their meanness by good 
clothes. She told one story of a deep regret, of a long 
continued game with a good man who loved her, saying 
unconsciously, " I made my mistake then." 

Tbey talked on, Hagar eager and frightened, Queolla 
proud and happy because she had found someone who 
would listen and yet not disbelieve her. 

Before she left, she asked Hagar some questions in turn. 

" How old are you, dear? " 

Hagar answered that she wa# past sixteen. 

The girl exclaimed; ** And you don't go out, just stay 
in this room all the time? Why, it's a wonder you don't 

DolizodbvCoOglc 



188 Hagar ReveUy 

go crazj. Yes, you will go craz; if you keep it up. But 
you leave it to me." As she weot out, she whispered: 
" I wouldn't have believed it. I thought you had some 
affair, some real love affair, aod I just let you alone. 
That's the reason I thou^t you were standing it. I 
thought maybe you were blue about some fellow. 

" Why," she hesitated, " once I came near making you 
tell me, because I thought you were in trouble. You 
know what I mean, and that I could help you out. And 
you only stood it all this time because — because you 
didn't know ! I wouldn't have believed it, dear ! " 

The faint light of dawn was coming throufj^ the green 
window shades when Miss LaMotte left and Hagar turned 
out the gas and tumbled into bed. 

At breakfast Miss Gillespie said to Hagar, in a ques- 
tioning manner: 

** What are those circles doing under your eytSf 
Hagar? " 

Then Miss Gillespie called her into the hall and said in 
a quiet, kind way, " Don't think I want to interfere, child, 
but I heard you and Miss LaMotte until early this morn- 
ing and I'm not going to let you forget the couple of 
things that I've taught you. I want you to know that 
she is a fool who is surely going to get burned some day 
for playing with the flame." 

Then she walked away, leaving Hagar leaning against 
the wall motionless with surprise. 

At the store that day business was rather quiet, and at 
noon Hagar felt so worried and restless, she took ad- 
vantage of the lunch hour to go up to her mother's house, 
and tell her of the new position. 

On the following Monday Hagar was initiated into the 
requirements of her new occupation, and by the middle of 
the week she felt quite at home. 

The work was not arduous, and there were hours at a. 

I ,l,z<»i:,.,C00gIf 



Hagar Revellg 180 

time when she had nothing at all to do. This, however, 
did not trouble her — she wa« not over>induatriou8 — 
while her vanity gloried in the promotion, she felt herself 
in quite a different class from the ordinarj sales-girl, and 
before she had been in her new position a month, she could 
swing past her old place at the shirt-waist counter in 
department " D " without even being conscious that she 
had ODce worked bock of the piles of boxes and muslint. 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER Xm 

Haoab's new poaition made it neceBsary for her to see 
Benjamm Greenfield more often than before. And she 
understood quite well now that he was fond of her. 

During this period they had manj delightful suppers 
together. They never, however, went to the theatre. 

One night, when he was on the point of taking her to 
a musical show, he had suddenly stopped and explained to 
her quite frankly that it wasn't a good idea for them to be 
seen together publicly. He told her they might very easily 
in this manner run into someone from the store. 

**I know that I don't have to ask you whether you 
understand," he said. 

" Of course, I understand, Mr. Greenfield," she told 
him in reply, thinking more of him for being so careful 
about his business. 

Often Hagar wondered why she saw so little of Herrick 
now, though she did remember that she had not been able 
to treat him as nicely as she wished, since Mr. Greenfield 
had been taking her around. 

As the days went by she began to have a certain insight, 
a really intelligent understanding, of the great city and 
its mingled vices; this monstrous pool where only money 
was a protection against inundation. She began to 
understajid people by the color of their skin or the look 
in their eyes, or by the way tbey talked. 

One day in early January, just after the holiday rush 

had worn all of them at Rheinchild's, thin and exhausted, 

she was the witness of something that sorrowed her and 

140 

DolizodbyGoOgle 



Hagar RevsUy 141 

strained just a little more, the thin filaments that held her 
innocent and believing. 

Miss Gillespie had complained of being sick all morn- 
ing and at noon had left the store. Hagar saw nothing 
unusual in this until she was leaving the supper table that 
evening, when QueoUa LaMotte whispered across to her, 
" Miss 6. is at it again. I told you." 

Hagar was not quite certain of the real meaning of this 
until she reached her room. Then she stood upright, 
straight as a rod and listened; from some place, as if 
carried by the wind, that was whistling and bellowing out- 
side like a scared herd of swine, she heard long, mu£9ed 
moans. 

Listening again, a little frightened, she heard coming 
from somewhere near another faint, stifled, yet audible 
groan. She was sure now that some one in the next room 
was in pain. 

Opening the door she rushed out into the hall, cry- 
ing to herself — " It's Miss Gillespie — It's Miss Gil- 
lespie ! " 

For just a moment she stood still, and then, without 
knocking, she ran into the woman's room. 

The sight that met Hagar's eyes frightened her incon- 
ceivably. Stretched taut on the bed lay Miss Gillespie, 
part of the bed-clothes over her, while the rest lay in a 
bedraggled heap on the floor. Her hair was loose, and 
hanging down dishevelled, over her partly bared shoulders. 
Her face was buried in the bedding, and just under the 
shadow of the bed's edge stood a Uack, half-filled whiskey 
bottle. 

For an instant Hagar stood with ber back against 
the door in ghastly fright. Then a sense of duty over- 
came her horror, and though trembling in body and mind, 
she went over and pulled the woman back on to the bed, 
and covered with the quilt the bared arms and bosom. 



14% Hagar Revellj/ 

Then Hagar opened the tightly closed wiDdow, aa there 
was a nasty smell of stale air and alcohol in the room. 

The cold, clear air seemed to invigorate the drugged 
senses of Miss Gillespie. In a moment she began again 
to moan pitifully. Then her eyes opened, and she tried to 
moisten her parched lips. 

" Oh, I didn't want you to see me," she groaned. " Who 
told you? Why did you find out?" She covered her 
face with her arms now as if ashamed that the little girl 
to whom she had given the best that was in her, should find ; 
her in this condition. 

Hagar answered: "Don't worry. Miss Gillespie. It's 
all right. You're sick and 111 stay by you." 

" Sick, yes — drunk I am — again. Oh, my Go'd 1 " 

Fearing that the woman would see the hquor bottle, 
Hagar pushed it with her foot, further under the bed, 
saying at the same time, " Youll be all right, Miss Gil- 
lespie, just keep quiet." 

The woman turned over on her side, and after a period 
of watching, Hagar arose and taking the black bottle un- 
der her jacket, stole back to her room. 

In the hallway she met two of the boarders. 

" Is Miss Gillespie sick? " one asked with a suppressed 
chuckle. 

"Yes, but she'U be all right before long," replied 
Hagar, with all the dignity she could muster. 

After hiding the bottle under the mattress of her bed, 
Hagar went back to continue her watch. At nydnight 
the moaning began again, but it was apparently a deliri- 
ous dream and Hagar had only to pull the covers back 
on the bed and open the windows a little more. But it 
was three o'clock before she dared to leave the room, and 
at seven o'clock she was again up and dressed. 

Not knowing whether to disturb the sick woman, she 

DolizodbyGoOgle 



Hagar ReveUg 148 

tried tapping lightl; on the wall, feeling that this would 
not awaken her should she be asleep; at the same time 
she said softly, " How are jou, Miss GiDespte? " 

There was a swishing of clothes and the movement of 
feet, and then a worn voice against the wall, " Better, 
dearie ; come in, won't you ? " 

" Are you really better, Miss Gillespie? " Hagar called 
back anxiously. 

" Yes, child. Come in." 

After Hagar had gained the room the woman asked, in 
a feeble voice, if she would do her a favor. 

"What is it?" begged Hagar. 

" Take the bottle and — " she laughed faintly as 
Hagar grew pale, " throw it in the alley on your way to 
the store." 

" You leave that to me," said Hagar. 

There were enough evidences, to Hagar, of the ordeal 
through which Miss Gillespie had passed. The eyelids 
were red and swollen, face puffed, and her hands trem- 
bled and twitched constantly. 

Seeing Hagar observe her. Miss Gillespie began to 
speak in a voice that showed even more the effects of her 
struji^e. 

" I didn't want you to know, Hagar,** she half moaned. 
" No, I didn't want you to know. Oh, I'm so sorry, so 
sorry." Her voice gained more strength as she went on. 
" But maybe it will teach you something, Hagar. If I 
had always stayed the way you are now, you wouldn't 
see me here like this." 

Hagar sat down on the edge of the bed and Miss Gilles- 
pie took hold of the little hands with her own trembling 
fingers. 

"You are good to me, dear," suddenly exclaimed the 



DoiizodbvCoogle 



144 Hagar ReveUy 

" YouVe been good to me, Miss GJUespie,** replied 
Hagar. 

" Yes, but jou will have everyone good to you, child. 
They don't think of me any more." 

"Please don't talk that way." 

The older woman sat upright in bed while the greenish 
shade threw a sickening light upon her face and empha- 
sized the deep pallor. 

" I know what you will think of me, dear," she began. 
" You may have a more innocent mind and a bigger heart, 
but you will think like the rest of them. Nearly every- 
body is alike, only some don't like to find themselves 
thinking the things they do." 

She stopped to press her palms against her throbbing 
temples. 

" Yes, kiddie, there is only about four drinks difference 
between a good woman and a bad woman. But those 
four drinks are pretty important when people have a 
chance to think hard about somebody else." 

** Can't I get you a cold towel F " begged Hagar. 

" No, I'm all right," sighed Miss Gillespie. 

Under Hagar's sympathy. Miss Gillespie improved 
rapidly, and when Hagar returned from breakfast the 
woman bad fallen off into her first healthy sleep. 

Hagar was surprised to see Miss Gillespie come into 
the store about four o'clock that afternoon, and it made 
her nearly want to cry when she saw how the woman 
turned off every question concerning her illness. 

A few nights later, Hagar sat by the side of Miss 
GUleapie's bed, while the older woman, now quite recov- 
ered, talked to her. In a way that cheered Hagar 
greatly, Miss Gillespie told her about the different phases 
of love and how a woman must meet them. Only indi- 
rectly did she refer to her drunken orgie. 

As the child listened, open-eyed. Miss Gillespie said: 



Hagar Revelly 14S 

" Oh, Ha^r, jou don't understand the muddle of being 
a woman my age. I'm nearly thirty, think of it." 

"That's pretty old, isn't it?" 

Miss Gillespie smiled. " You dear, it certainly is." 
Then she went on. " You know a woman doesn't amount 
to much unless she is really a bohcmian or a booby." 

She hesitated to say that she mustn't talk in this man- 
ner to Hagar, but the child begged her to go on. 

" What do you mean by a ' booby,' Miss GillespieP " 

" Well, a woman who's married because she's scared 
of the game, afraid to hold out against the odds, and 
marries some man for a meal ticket and a front 
parlor. 

** That's a problem you don't know anything about, 
but I guess I can talk to you. I'd talk this way to my 
daughter, if I had one. If a woman is a bohemian, she 
learns and suiFers for it, — if she's a booby she suffers 
more, because she dreams of the things the bohemiaa has 
and can't get them." 

" You mean that a married woman is worse off than a 
person who is a bohemian?" 

" Much worse off, sometimes, child." 

Hagar thought for a time. " Well, I don't think," 
she said earnestly, " that a woman who has a home and 
is married is as bad off as those women who go around 
in the restaurants all the time." 

" Oh, you don't understand," answered Miss Gillespie, 
with an effort at smiling. " I'm talking about what they 
go through in their minds. The woman who goes around 
to the restaurants, as you say, at least has not fixed her- 
self 80 her dreams can't come true, if there happens to 
be a chance." She thought for a moment. " I don't 
believe that a woman suffers, no matter bow late it comes, 
if she is retMy in love. Love is a kind of chloroform 
that makes you laugh and be happy — and then dulls 



146 Sagar RgveUy 

you ; maybe it is because tt has the power of not letting 
you know you are suffering, when you really are." 

Hagar interrupted : " But you've always told me, 
Miss Gillespie, that people ought to be good." 

The woman paused to say that Hagar was too young 
to understand her fully. 

** You don't understand, Hagar," she said. " I'm not 
preaching that kind of goodness. It's only that I like 
you and am going to try to keep yon good, if I have 
anything to do with it. 

" This is the only way you'll leam. There's got to 
be some method. You've got to get at all sides of the 
game. It's better to be good because you know about it 
and are too tired of life to be bad, than it is to be good 
just because you're afraid to be bad." 

She took hold of Hagar's hands and caressed them. 

** Here I am getting old, dearie," she went on, " and 
pretty soon my skin will get a little drier than it is now, 
and I'll look older and more worn out. You know why? " 

Hagar kept silent. 

" You don't know why, do you? " Miss Gillespie asked. 

" No, I honestly don't. Miss Gillespie." 

" Well, 111 tell you. It's because I'm being what peo- , 
pie call good. It's all rot, that's all. I'm just not liv- 
ing up to myself, or to nature. Oh, well, it's because I 
haven't got a baby around me. Yes, that's it Every 
woman is bom to be a mother. It's her natural instinct, 
and she was made just for that and nothing else. If 
she hasn't a baby around that will take the affection 
from her that is stored up, she begins to get old. That's 
the reason old maids look skinny and tired. Oh, Hagar, 
you don't know how I want a baby, especially in the morn- 
ing, when I wake up and see myself lying there worthless 
and alone. Now what has good or bad got to do with 
thatf* 

DolizodbyGoOgle 



Hagar RmeUy 147 

Hagar sat quietlj throu^out the woman's confession. 
But now as Miss Gillespie revealed in words her inner- 
most desire, Hagar felt puzzled, even a little affected. 

** I don't quite understand you. Miss Gillespie," she 
said. 

" It's very plain, Hagar. Women have got to give 
food to that part of themselves, or they'll go to pieces. 
They are bom to be mothers. You take a man that is 
used to the farm and put him in a stone mansion in the 
city, and watch him. Why, he'll get sick and die off, 
because he isn't following his natural instinct. It's a 
good deal the same thing with women. 

" I've watched a lot of them and just about the time 
they get to be thirty or so, if they haven't got this baby 
around, they go to pieces. They get reckleas, do crazy 
things that they would have never thought of five years 
before." She looked steadily at Hagar. " You know 
what I think, childP Well, I think that they ought to 
make a law that every woman should have a baby before 
she is thirty. One way or another. And when I say 
that, I'm not telling you to he had. 

" If every woman in the world that had waited until 
she was twenty-five, and then had not married for love, 
would go out into the world with the intention that she 
would marry, witKout the license, the first man she loved 
after that, there wouldn't be such a thing as good and 
had people. It would be because they were too sincere 
and honest with themselves. No woman who loves the 
child she has borne can be a bad woman." 

Then she discussed Miss Gihhs, the crabbed head lady 
of her department at Rheinchild's. 

" Look at her. There is a good example for young 
girls. She's mean and hot-tempered and soured on the 
world. She's nearly forty now and yet when you talk 
about young men to her, those hard eyes of hers get dim 



148 Hagar ReveUy 

and she smiles kind of sickly. That smile is the most 
hideous thing I know, Hagar. Poor thing, she wilt never 
let go of the idea that some day she is going to get mar- 
ried. And yet I know that there was a fellow in her life 
when she was younger, who loved her and she him, but 
vho didn't get married because he had no money. There 
is a good sample. Supposing they'd have gone ahead 
and married without the license until they could have af- 
forded to buy it. She would have had a child now, and 
I'll bet she would be just as tender and kind as anybody. 

" But even if she is getting a little crazier each day," 
Miss Gillespie continued, " the idea that she's going to 
be married and loved some day is like a life-saving belt 
for her. If she didn't have that idea in her head she 
would go under." 

Hagar commented that she thought MisB Gibbs was 
hopeless. 

"Well, maybe she does appear that way, but think 
what she might have come to if she would have just been 
what other people call bad. Why, look at me, Hagar. 
Don't think I get under the liquor because — I want to. 
Oh, it isn't that, my little friend. I don't like the stuff. 
But it gets me just the same. I get so blue, sometimes, 
when I think of what I mi^t have had, and how I be- 
lieved in other people's views of things — why, I pretty 
nearly go mad." 

She looked curiously at Hagar for a long time. 

" You know, kiddie, I don't know why I should talk 
like this to you — I guess because you're so soft to have 
around, and kind and sympathetic. . , . Well, to go 
back, my head gets filled with thoughts of that past. I 
remember how I used to hug and kiss him, and beg for a 
baby — and then I think of how he was only fooling 
with me — yes, I get the blue devik when I tldnk of it, 
get sort of confused. If I didn't drink, I'd do something 



Hagar ReveUy 149 

worse." Her lips thinned and pursed together. " Once 
I c&me Bear killing myself. I even got a revolver." 

Hagar held her breath, as the woman's voice died down. 

" But I am too much of a coward. I'll always be 
sitting in this room, thinking, and getting more stale, 
and old. And 1*11 go down to Rheinchild's every day just 
like now." 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER XIV 

Qke night Hagar and Greenfield sat together until mid- 
night at a table in the back of a German restaurant on 
Fourteenth Street, and he nvealed to her for the first 
time the exact regard in which he held her, telling her 
bow he loved her, and relating in tender words how it had 
hurt him at the very beginning to see her back of the 
counter selling shirt-waists. He told her how difficult it 
had been to keep from wording his affections long before, 
mentioning that he had created the position of guide for 
her, because he couldn't stand it when he realized how 
poorlj she was living. 

" No, I couldn't stand it, dear," he said, with his hands 
closed tight over hers. The expression on his face at 
that moment, and the feeling in his voice, remained by 
her for many dajs. 

He took her home in a carriage, but he did not take 
advantage of the privacy to kiss or embrace her. He 
was really very kind and gentle. Yet she was not able to 
sleep throughout the night. For a long time, she re- 
alized, she had been aware of his attentions and the 
message they conveyed. And as she lay there open-eyed, 
she wondered why it was that she was always so scared 
and nervous, whenever he came near her. 

Standing in the store vestibule next evening, deep in 
a reverie, she heard his familiar voice. It came 
simultaneously with her thoughts of the night before. 

" You can't go home in the subway in this weather," 
be said* pointing to the drifting snow, and placing his 

*** L ,l,z<,d.vC00gIf 



Hagar Reodlff 101 

hand over hers on the umbrella handle. ** It'll be so 
stuffy and crowded, jou wouldn't be able to stand it," 

"Well, what am I to doP " She answered him rather 
sweetly, as if to say that she was glad to see him again. 

** You're to come take a bite with me, and we'll see 
about getting home later." 

Hagar protested that they had been together just the 
night before. 

" I don't think we ought to be together so often," she 
said. 

"Why not?" He looked at her steadily for a mo- 
ment, then said firmly : ** Come." 

She took his arm. 

" Did you miss me to-day, HagarP " was his first ques- 
tion after they had gained the opposite side of the street. 

She hesitated. " Some — " she said at last, with a lit- 
tle coy laugh. 

" I missed you a good deal, kiddie," he murmured. 

" I'm sorry." 

"I am very glad. You don't know how fine it is to 
feel that you want some one by you all the time. I don't 
suppose you feel that way ? " 

Then, before he gave her time to answer, he said, point- 
ing to the little worn, black, leather bag at her side: 
"Why do you carry that? It's worn out." 

" Well — I — it was a good one when it was new and 
I would rather have an old good one than a cheap new 
one." 

"You're a funny little thing," he i.aid jovially, as he 
looked into her eyes. '* Yon know very well you only 
need go into the leather department and pick out what 
you want. Why haven't you? " 

" I never thought of it." 

" Well, you see that you do it to-raorrow. I dont 
want anytldng about you that will spoil your good looks." 



15S Hagar RmeJly 

" You are very kind, Mr. Greenfield." 

" Yes, but you don't appreciate me," was his comment. 

He took her to Mouqiun's and after dinner thej had 
their demi-tasse downstairs. 

Ordering coffee for two, and a cognac for himself, be 
settled back against the cushioned wall, with his hand 
gently touching Hagar's. 

Then a sudden thought made him call the waiter and 
order " two cognacs." 

Presently the liquors were placed on the table in front 
of them and he explained that cognac was the only 
dressing to use in black coffee. As she hesitated, he said 
> kindly: 

"Why, it's all rig^t, Hagar. You know I wouldn't 
give you anything that would hurt you. And it would 
please me very much if you would do little things like that, 
now that we understand each other. It would make me 
think that you cared — just a little — for me." 

He spoke as if he felt very sorry for himself. But 
he was delighted when Hagar poured the liquor into her 
coffee, as if to show him that she really did care. 

In friendly confidential fashion they conversed the whole 
evening, though he was careful never to imply anything 
suggestive in a direct way. Whenever he wanted to say 
something along intimate lines he would always handle 
the subject as if it concerned some one else, and seemingly 
tell a story about one of his friends. He knew he could 
talk to her impersonally and word the daring emotions 
and desires that surged through him, but he knew too, 
that with Hagar, nothing could be placed in blunt, start- 
ling fashion. He must be calm, suave, kind, he told him- 
self. 

Greenfield came all the way back to his office, that 
night after he had taken Hagar home. A small business 
deal troubled him and he meant to gain the sedusioii of 



Hagar Reodly IS8 

his oRix to plan out the proper method of procedure. 
It was nearly midnight and the night watchman had to 
be notified before he could gain an entrance into the 
building. It hardly seemed worth the trouble. And 
after he reached the secluded room he found himself utterly 
unable to give the problem that had brought him, the 
proper amount of thought. Instead his mind continually 
dwelt upon Hagar. 

He aat in his chair thinking of the soft delicate skin, 
of her small full bosom. He recognized how difl^erent 
was bis pursuit of this child, compared to his methods 
with other women. Yes, there was no doubt but what he 
desired her to an inordinate degree; but did she know 
this and would the end come about in the usual fashion? 
Or was she just fooling him. Surely she couldn't think 
him so gullible as that. 

It was different with Hagar than with other women, 
after aU, he reasoned. With her he was forced to put 
on his best manners, to submit to her apparent innocence 
without a protest. How ridiculous it was that when 
away from her, he could plan on some final mode of at- 
tack, and then always have the situation the same when- 
ever he went to her. 

Though he had come on a business quest, Greenfield 
sat idle in the darkness of his office, until two o'clock. 
He thought over his adventures of the last half dozen 
years, of the many women with whom he had consorted 
and the pleasures they had afforded him. And when he 
locked the door after him, and walked through the silent 
store to the street, it was with the feeling that he must 
be stronger with Hagar and not give in to her so easily. 

But when he reached his room at the hotel he was less 
defiant and more weak than ever. A well defined pang 
of loneliness struck him as he turned onthe switch button 
of the electric light. In that moment he saw dearlj 



104 Hagar ReveUy 

what Hagar had done for him. It made him somewhat 
rebellious. He saw that since he had known her, he no 
longer found it possible to mingle with the women of his 
past acquaintance. He realized that this was not a 
passing impersonal episode, but that Hagar was a woman 
whom he really loved, a woman whose arms would keep 
him from terrible evenings of loneliness and unrest. 

For some days Greenfield reasoned that it was not Ha- 
gar's charms, but just the fact that he was growing older 
which gave this sudden desire for quiet and peacefulness. 

In his mind's eye he would see her, a little innocent 
girl, with shining black hair and wonderful ivory skin, 
and would imagine her wearing a Parisian gown, her neck 
encircled by rows of pearls and diamonds ; he would 
picture himself opposite her, in some well lighted restau- 
rant, where all the eyes would be envying him, and he 
would realize that it was the girl herself he wanted, that 
he must carry on the fight. 

All his life he had seen beautiful women in the pos- 
session of ugly stupid men, and knowing that he was 
thou^t rather handsome, he had come to lose confidence 
in his own ability for not discovering some woman that 
would vie with them. Here, indeed was the opportunity. 

About a month after the evening when Hagar and 
Greenfield were at Mouquin's, he gave her a first insist 
into his philosophy regarding her. The revelation came 
so gradually that she met it unsuspiciously, as if be 
had been talking about some part of her dress, or about 
business. 

Over a deep, blood-red claret lemonade at Louis Mar- 
tins, he told her exactly what he thought of her. 
Listening to him she was in turn, grateful, startled, 
perplexed, but with it all finding a great satisfaction in 
having her vague feeling of unrest at last explained. 

" You are built a certain way," he said. *' 1 know 

,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



Hagar ReveUg 165 

because I have watched a lot of girls, at the store and 
other places. And it is all fixed up for you. Your 
eyes, your lips, your whole body has been built a certain 
way, and it wasn't meant for you " — he leaned over the 
table earnestly — " to sell shirt-waists. Maybe it is too 
bad that you can't — but you can't. It won't help it 
either if you fight, because it would only be fighting 
against yourself. And you'd wear yourself out doing 
that. 

" You might even try to game it out behind the counter, 
until something happens, or somebody came along. But 
nothing ever happens and they never come. At least not 
to take you where you belong. You are not a crude 
piece of material that can work on a few dollars a week. 
Yes, I know. Maybe you do too. You need pretty 
clothes, soft crushy things that cost money, and you like 
attention, you like having men turn around after you 
and all that, don't youP I've watched you." 

He went on in a soft alluring way of speaking and 
the words came soothingly to her ears. He said she was 
like a hot-house fiower, a rose, which, if exposed too much 
to the cold winds of adversity, would lose its beautiful 
blush. 

It was this blush, he described, which was in reality 
her beauty, that protected her at all tiroes. It made 
people kind to her, it gave her the best that was in them, 
and it was a veneer that was only beautiful when it was 
well taken care of. 

** If you don't watch out," he said on, " the 
raw air will eat at the petals. Oh, little girl," he whis- 
pered nearly in her ears, " don't lose this blush, this 
great beauty. Supposing you have beauty and fra- 
grance, just like a rose, you will wither like the rest of 
the flowers if you expose yourself and are not taken care 
of. I make this comparison to a rose," he said, watchiiur 



166 Hagar ReveBy 

the effect of his words, " because I think it makes a pretty 
good argument. If you expose yourself to hard work 
you will become just as ugly as the rest of the girls." 

As he spoke of her beauty being lost, she looked at him 
strangely aroused. 

Greenfield perceived that his vords had carried some 
message to her. He hastened to add : " You'll have to 
g^ve in some day, Hagar, and the longer you hold out, 
the more foolish you'll be." 

Hagar was silent for a long time. " Well, what am 
I to do?" she then asked. 

**Why, make it easier for yourself. I love you — I 
mn willing to do all I can." 

She looked at him in a puzzled way, saying, after some 
time, " I don't believe I quite understand you, Mr. Green- 
field." 

For 8 moment Greenfield thought that this might be 
the moment to explain everything. And then he saw 
that it would be a great mistake, at least at this time. 
He would not even be able to kiss her here. It would 
have to be in some place, where they were alone. 

With some hesitation he took out of his pocket a lit- 
tle memorandiun book and from between its red leather 
covers, tore a slip of paper. " I'm living on Eighty- 
seventh Street, at this address," he said simply, as he 
wrote down a number. " Will you come? " 

"Why, I—'* 

Greenfield was watching her closely, not quite under- 
standing whether she realized the meaning he meant to 
convey. He took her hesitation as meaning fear more 
than anything else. 

" Oh, it's all rlj^it," he spoke quickly. " You need 
only come to the first door and ask for me. Yes, you 
come there and I'll tell you yhat I mean. Well be alone 
and able to have a dandy t^. There is a big grate fire 

/ L ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



Hagar ReveUy \5*t 

in the sitting-room and it's perfectly all right. You will 
come, dearie, won't you ? " 

He looked steadily into her eyes and gradually pressed 
with greater intensity the hands that lay clasped under 
his own. 

**Will youP" he asked again, in just a whisper. 

** Yes, I guess so," she answered, her eyes looking far 
in front of her. , 

They set the time for the following evening. 

Hagar grew so restless during that next day that at 
the closing hour she decided to visit her mother for a 
short time. A chat might put a stop to the nervousness 
that so troubled her, and make her look forward to the 
evening with more anticipation. Then, it was a good 
time anyway, as one thing or another had kept her from 
going up to the house for nearly a week. 

There was the usual affectionate greeting, when Hagar 
entered her mother's room; and then Mrs. Revelly, who 
had been sitting at the sewing machine, went hack to lier 
seat. 

" Fm going to keep right on working, dearie," she said. 
** I want to finish up this waist to wear Sunday." 

Hagar's eyes brightened with professional interest. 
"Let me see it, mother." 

Mrs. Revelly handed over the half -finished garment, and 
awaited with some anxiety her daughter's verdict. 

Hagar looked at the sleeves critically. 

" I think, mother, they ought to be kimono. We just 
can't get rid of anything that ain't kimono." 

" Wouldn't it be a little bit hard to make kimono sleeves 
in this thin goods?" Mrs. Revelly asked. 

" Well, I dont know, but all ours are like that. Say, 
mother, why don't you come around to the store and act 
like you were a customer, and III show you everything, 
and you can see how it's made." 

U.,r,l,z<»i:,.,C00gIf 



168 Hagar ReoeUy 

Mrs. Revellj was interested. 

" Whj, maybe," Hagar went on, " I could fix it that 
you'd get some stuff at discount — like I do. I believe I 
could fix that" 

Mrs. Revellj thought that would be fine. " I suppose 
all you girls can buy things cheap like thatP " she queried. 

** Well, I don't know if they all can," said Hagar, a 
little self-consciously. 

Mrs. Revelly leaned over the sewing machine with an 
expression in her eyes that was a question. 

Hagar made no reply, however, but played with her 
leather bag. 

"Why, can you get a different price from the other 
girls, Hagar? " 

" Why — I guess maybe — I can. Mr. Greenfield — 
said something about it the other day." 

" He's the manager of the whole store, isn't he ? " re- 
marked Mrs. Revelly. 

" I think he's got pretty much the main say. We 
hardly ever see Mr. Rheinchild." Hagar picked up from 
the floor a piece of goods that had fallen from the machine. 
" He's been real nice to me," she added. 

When Hagar went up the brown, crumbled steps of the 
house on Eighty-seventh Street, she realized that the visit 
to her mother had helped very little; she really did not 
know exactly why she was going, or the meaning of her 
mission; she tried to tell herself it was only different 
from going to a restaurant, in that she was going to his 
house instead. No more than that. And she did not 
know whether the sensation of aching and emptiness about 
her heart was due to the fact that she had walked fast, 
or to a strange feeling of fear and guilt, that she could 
not explain, and for which she saw no reason. 

Hagar did not really understand at all what Greenfield 
was proposing, and as she went up the steps and rang 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar ReveUy 169 

the door bell, there was in her mind a little feeling of re- 
gret, because she knew that she did not love him in return 
for all his great kindness to her. 

It was this feeling that was the first thing she ex- 
plained to him, after she was settled in the big plush chair 
he had pushed up for her in front of the fire. 

" Don't worry, dearie," he said ; " jouTl care more for 
me some daj. I guess I love jou enough for both of us 
now." 

He took her dainty hand and petted iL 

Like a picture of the Degas Dancing Girl that hung 
in the framing department at Rheinchild's, she seemed to 
him. Her black, nearly coarse, hair was in such direct re- 
markable contrast to the soft transparency of her face, 
while the flat glossy strands that came down low over her 
forehead defiantly accentuated the simple freshness of 
her mouth and her eyes. 

Such charming youth he had never encountered. It 
was innocence, he told himself, but not doll-like, or stu- 
pidly pretty, such as he had usually noticed in young 
girls. Instead there was something desirous, expectant, 
in the limpid darkness of her eyes; and when he watched 
her mouth, a feeling that he must kiss her came in a hot 
wave of passion that he could barely subdue. It was a 
mouth that was small and yet well curved, with lips so 
full, he could only think of it as being some flower that 
was unfolding its petals for the first time. 

Hagar became conscious of his admiration and lowered 
her head with a soft, little laugh, saying: **I wish you 
wouldn't look at me like that, Mr. Greenfield." 

" I'm only admiring you." 

His face was very close to hers now. She wondered if 
she would let him kiss her, should he try; whOe in his 
mind came the thought that perhaps this was the time 
to unleash his passions. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



litO Ragar ReoeOy 

But he restrained himself vatorouslj as he saw a fri^t- 
ened stare creep into her eyes. This puzzled him. He 
was not sure but that she knew his motive and was using a 
woman's strongest argument, fear and weakness, to com- 
bat his impulses. However, he decided he must still go 
slowly. 

So he was kind and attentive and quiet. They talked 
of the store, of the latest shows, the new restaurant that 
had startled all New York ; he talked about himself, told 
her how he had gone through high school and graduated 
at sixteen and was getting ready for college, when his 
father's clothing establishment went into an unforeseen 
bankruptcy. With a great feeling of sympathy, Hagar 
heard how he had been compelled to start as a bundle 
boy at Rheinchild's. Then came the successive steps, at 
last rising to his present high position. 

" But I mustn't talk of myself," he whispered 
sadly. 

She whispered back. " Oh, yes, please — I like to hear 
you." 

He drew his chair a little closer, thinking: " This girl 
is strange, so contradictory. I don't know whether she 
wants me to go on, or whether she doesn't yet understand 
at what I am driving." 

Stammering that his life had not been all roses and 
gold, he took her hand and said, with a show of longing 
in his words : " Yes, there was a time between twenty 
and thirty, little girl, that I lost all the pleasures that 
other men have. There was no youth for me then. I had 
to work hard." 

Hagar responded with a remark that he shouldn't think 
so sadly. 

He saw that she really felt sorry for him. 

Then she asked: "How old are you, Mr. Greenfield?" 

" Well," he replied, bravely — an effort which he made 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar ReveUy l6l 

forcedly artificial — ^" I guess I'm not so awful old — 
about thirty-seven." 

Hagar thought that that was a " just right " age, 
while he regretted that he had lopped o(F four years 
by his lie. 

" Maybe she'd feel sorrier for me, if I were older," he 
told himself. 

** And you, how old are you, Hagar P " 

" I'll be seventeen pretty soon," she said proudly. 

At that moment there was a loud ringing of the door- 
bell and the sound of a man's voice mingled with a tramp- 
ing of heavy feet up the stairway. 

"You don't live here by yourself, do you? " she asked, 

" Oh, no, I just have these two rooms." 

Hagar noticed his face redden, but she attributed it 
to the heat of the room. 

" It's hot in here, isn't itP " said she, in benevolent de- 
sire to justify his heated face. "Why don't you open 
the hall door ? " 

Hagar had started to do this herself, when he arose 
hastily and gently pushed her back into the chair. 

" Too many people coming in at this time of the even- 
ing," he told her. 

" What difference could that make? " she asked. 
" Anyway they have gone upstairs." 

" But I don't want them to see us, just the same." 

Then he changed the conversation to other things, and 
Hagar, though puzzled at his manner, said to herself that 
it was just that same strangeness of his she had noticed 
BO many times before — often he was very strange and 
changed the subject quickly, and she remembered an oc- 
casion when he had very hurriedly placed her in a dark 
doorway for fifteen minutes and how at another time he 
had suddenly forgotten that she was with him and jumped 
off the street car and left her alone. Ci>i>olf 



162 Hagar ReveUy 

Then he arose from the chair and nervously walked up 
and down for a few minutes without speaking. 

"Have you lived here very long?" 

Though his cleverness did not forsake him, he still saw 
that she had steered him into a tight place, with her ques- 
■ tion. He looked at her in a quizzical way as if to say, 
" You're a pretty wise little girl, aren't you? " 

But Hagar was not at all suspicious, even thinking that 
he had everything put away in the bedroom. His an- 
swer, " Oh, I only moved in yesterday, my trunks are still 
in the other place," satisfied her entirely. 

And when he sighed dejectedly and added, " That's the 
way we live, those of us who haven't anyone to look after 
us," she felt actually sorry for him. 

Hagar looked up into his face, and asked if it was nec- 
essary that he lead such a lonely life. 

" What else is there to do," he answered wearily. 

Then he leaned over and put his lips very close to her 
eyes. " You don't mean, Hagar, that — you'd help me 
out of it?" 

So close were his lips to her cheeks that he could not 
control himself. He kissed her, once on the cheek, then 
on her lips. 

Frantically Hagar tore herself loose from his embrace, 
her face coloring rhythmically, with each breath. 

" Why, Mr. Greenfield, how dare you do that," she cried 
angrily. 

It was hard for Greenfidd to control his temper at 
this unexpected repulse. He had really thought that she 
was well under his influence. As Hagar stood glaring at 
him, he could only think of how childish she looked. 

He admitted to himself that perhaps he had been fool- 
ish, but he was more determined now than ever before, 
to win her. 
• After some time, when he had fairly well calmed him- 



Hagar RmeUy 16S 

sdf and Hagar had settled Back in her chair again, he 
said: 

" You're funny, Hagar. You tdl me you like me, yet 
you carry on like that, and won't even let me kiss you. 
What's a kiss anyway?" 

For a moment Hagar was silent. " Oh, it seems dif- 
ferent, Mr. Greenfield, with you somehow. It just spoils 
things to have you act that way. Somehow I really 
thought jou were different. You've been so kind to me.'* 
She thought of Mr. Herrick, and a half dozen others 
whom she had met since she left school. " Why, they 
all act that way," she continued. " Everybody tries to 
kiss you and put their arms around you. X kept think- 
ing you're different than them, but when you do things 
like that I am so disappointed in you." 

Greenfield searched in his mind for the right answer; 
he came near telling her that she was more innocent than 
he had thought, that all men were alike, that it was only 
their methods which differed. But he saw he should not 
say this. Strangely at a loss for the right word, he 
said at last, " I'm sorry you feel that way about it, 
Hagar." 

For a time both of them were overtaken by an awk- 
ward silence. Hagar sat gazing into the fire while Green- 
field studied her head and face, feeling a little foolish 
when he thought how after all the weeks and months, 
he had let this slip of a girl repulse him without his offer- 
ing any resistance. 

He allowed her to leave as soon as he thought that the 
incident had passed from her mind. And she felt a re- 
newal of hf r confidence in him when she walked by a fruit 
store on Columbus Avenue and noticed that a clock said 
it was not yet ten-thirty. He had not let her go, how- 
ever, until she had agreed to come the next evening. 

Greenfield felt that he understood thoroughly the work- 



164 Hagar ReveUy 

ings of Hagar's rirginal mind. He reasoned that be on- 
derstood perfectly that defiant moment of repulsion and 
struggle to free herself from his grasp ; he told himself 
it wasn't that she was more innocent or that she had 
better self-control when she said, "How dare you?" but 
that she was only repeating the words that every young 
girl had instinctively repeated from time beyond memory. 

Of course, she was supposed to meet his first caresses 
in just that manner. It might not have been that she 
wanted to. It was merely her natural instinct. That 
was it. Had he not noticed, for just the slightest frac- 
tion of a moment that she clung to him, when his arms 
were around her? She would probably run through all 
the set stages, at first rebellion, then the gradual re- 
linquishing to uphold her pride, and at last concessions 
and surrender — with the surrender coming in a state of 
semi-consciousness so that she could say afterwards she 
had no idea of her action. Yes, he had been a fool to 
postpone a decisive action for so long. 

There was only one way. That was to take her by 
storm so that the bruqt of blame could be carried on his 
shoulders. Women were all like that. They dare not 
assume any responsibility for their succumbing. 

It was past eight-thirty the next night when Hagar 
went up the steps and rang the bell of the house on 
Eighty-seventh Street. 

The fat colored woman with the blue dress, answered 
the door as before. 

" Is Mr. Greenfield in ? " 

" Yes. Just come in. He expects you ? " 

" Yes, I think so." 

She went in. A moment later Greenfield met her. 

Starting to greet him, she was instead much bewildered 
when he grasped her in his arms and kissed her passion- 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar SneUy 165 

"Now flit down, idear. I'm so glad you came." 

He had taken her by surprise. She wanted to say sev- 
eral things at once, but all her devastated senses could 
muster was the sentence: "Why — why — do you do 
that — after last night?" 

Her face was flushed and her lips quivered. 

" Because I love you. That's the reason. Now let's 
sit down." 

Before she hod time for conmient or parley, he went 
on : " We mustn't be fools. I love you, Hagar, I hon- 
estly do, and you know it and this game can't last for- 
ever." He looked up into her face. She hod risen and 
was gazing absently into the mirror over the mantelpiece. 

"Why do you stand up so scared-like? Sit down, 
won't you ? " 

He pushed the chair toward her. 

Then, a great deal more gentle in his manner, " I dont 
think you really and truly care for me, Hagar." 

She turned her eyes to the floor. Within her was a 
question that was nearly consuming her. She was asking 
herself if all this fight on her part was not futile and 
foolish, as he said it was. Surely he did care for her. 
How kind he had been to her. And how he was begging 
her now I Wasn't she really foolish to treat him so 
meanly? 

Greenfidd repeated again his remark, noticing at the 
same time that she was no longer fighting him. 

" You know better than that, Mr. Greenfield," she re- 
plied. " I do care about you." 

" Then, why do we fight each other? " 

" Why — I don't — believe — I want to fight you, Mr. 
Greenfield. I don't mean to." 

Greenfield studied her face with evident seriousness, 
at last saying, " You've been thinking some since last 
night, haven't you, Hagar." Doi..dbvCooylc 



166 Hagar RroeUy 

" Yes, I guesa I have, a little." 

"And what have you thou^t, HagarP" 

She lowered her lids and surprised him somewhat bj 
taking hold of his hand. 

" What have you thought, HagarP " 

" Oh, I don't know — what I think. You make me 
feel 80 funny. Sometimes I'm happy, then again, I'm 
so nervous and shaky when I'm with you, I don't know 
what to do." She hesitated. " I didn't want to come 
to-night, but somehow I just couldn't help it." 

Taking hold of her free hand, Greenfield led her over 
to a wide settee chair. 

" I'm going to talk to you, little girl," he began, after 
they were both seated. " And I don't want you to say 
a word, until I'm through. I've thought about this thing 
a long time — a good many months I should say. I don't 
want you to be scared at what I'm going to tell you, 
either. You're going to be sensible, and so am I." 

He lit a cigarette, and threw the burnt match into 
the grate. 

"Look how cosy it is here. Isn't it a dandy fire? 
You like big coals like that, burning red, don't you? It 
makes the room happier. Well, you can have all this sort 
of thing and more, if you will just be wise and sensible. 
You know what I mean? Well, that I love you, and if 
you return my love — well, I'll give you any old thing. 
Now don't you think you'd be foolish to fight off forever 
the way you do? You could have a dandy little place to 
live, you wouldn't have to work at all and you could have 
all the good clothes you felt like. Now what do you 
say? " 

He looked at her intently. " Why, Hagar, you could 
go out in Central Park every day and when you went 
shopping, you'd have a tazicab waiting for you instead 
of the subway. That would do you a lot of good, too." 



Hagar ReveUy 167 

For the first time now, he saw that she showed signs 
of fear- The color had left her face, even her lips looked 
pale. 

"What's the matter?" he asked. "Are you ill, Ha- 
gar?" 

She replied, " No, I feel all right" 

" You don't look it," He paused for the moment, fear- 
ing that he was pushing matters too strongly. Through 
his mind was running the thought, " I'm getting her, 
I'm getting her." 

Hagar remained silent for a long time and only the 
slow rising and falling of her hreast, like the uneasy swell- 
ing of the sea, betrayed her hidden emotion. 

Gradually bad come over her a new understanding, and 
it seemed very suddenly to make her see things in the right 
h*ght. She saw that she might wait a life-time and not be 
loved as she was by this man. Maybe she could leam to 
love him too. Anyway it would be nice to have a home, 
and be a real woman, with a real husband. Why had she 
not thought before how wonderful that would be? Sup- 
posing he was a good deal older than she. If he was 
younger then he wouldn't have the money to give her what 
she wanted. And it vBovid be nice to have all the clothes 
she wanted. 

Continuing her reflections, Hagar asked herself if she 
ought not feel really very lucky and happy. He was 
quite good looking, and could manage everybody so well. 
She had seen how the waiters and the girls at the store 
minded him. 

Greenfield perceived that she was deep in some prob- 
lem, and thought it was the right time now to reinforce 
his argument. 

" You know I think it very odd," he said, *' that you 
should hold out as if you had the world back of you, when 
all the time your little heart and body is starring for 



168 Hagar RgeeUy 

good, nice things — things like fine clothes, good food." 
He waved his hand restlessly. " Oh, why should I go on. 
A face like yoors should have only one kind of a life. 
^^7> jou are beautiful, Hagar, only you're not aUong 
those who can appreciate you. 

** Why," he hesitated, " you remind me of — " Now he 
pondered over the thought for a full minute, finishing up 
with a pointed resemblance that had suddenly come to him 
between Hagar and an actress for whom a vast theatre 
had just been built. " She got on," be continued, gently 
patting her hand, " Why shouldn't you? Now be a sen- 
sible girL" 

Greenfield watched her to see the effect of his words. 
His heart was beating quickly, and as he saw her sitting 
there so pale and beautiful, a passionate emotion swept 
through him that engulfed all the little subterfuges, the 
plans for calm persuasion. Forgetting himself entirely, 
he tremblingly drew her close to his body and held her 
tightly from head to foot. 

" God, you're beautiful," he cried hoarsely. 

For a moment she appeared to resist him, then she too 
seemed to lose control of herself. Her body lost its 
rigidity, becoming lax and yielding, her small arms went 
about his neck, the while he felt one wave of emotion after 
another follow in close succession through her little body. 

" Oh, Mr. Greenfield, I don't know what I'm doing," 
she cried. " You must help me, please, please." And as 
if she were ashamed of her thoughts she buried her head 
in his arms. 

Gradually, then, fearing that she would go back into 
her more sane self, Greenfield drew her gently, even deli- 
cately, onto the bed in the near-by alcove, whispering con- 
tinuously into her ear, " Hagar, my darling, I love you, I 
love you, I love you." 

At the bed's edge he again lost himself in the i 



Hagar ReveUy 169 

of the tnoment. Almost brutisM;, he fell od the white 
coTeriDg with her body wedged beneath him, his lips upon 
her mouth. 

And she, utterly helpless in his grasp, intoxicated by 
the cataclysmic enormity of her first real entrance into 
the secrets of sexual passiou, clung to him, returning 
throb for throb, pulsation for pulsation; while through 
the light fabric of her thin silk skirts she could feel the 
warmth of his body penetrate into her own. 

At last he arose and standing by the side of the bed, 
bent over her, saying between his kisses, "We must un- 
dress and get into bed right, dearie." 

Her new, embroidered petticoat and plain, dainty 
chemise were already companion pieces over the foot of 
the bed, when she turned off the gas jet with trembling, 
shaky fingers. She had made him go into the next room, 
and now she heard his voice: "I'm coming in, Hagar." 

Tumbling quickly into bed, she drew the covering high 
over her head. Her heart was pounding unmercifully 
and she felt vaguely a terrible anguish, and pain, that 
came as a foreboding of guilt. 

Greenfield was no sooner in the room than she arose in 
the bed with the quilt about her, begging that he go out, 
that he not come near her. Her lips were tightly drawn, 
the soft diaphanous fiesh had changed color, the little 
fingers clutched intermittently at the edge of the white 
sheet. A wild stare, fraught with fear, was in her eyes. 

** Oh, don't come near me," she begged, " please, please 
— please — " 

But he was already by her side, smothering her in his 
embrace. 

" Don't be scared little ^rl," he whispered. " ITl be 
gentle. You'll love me more.** 

He took her head between his hands and drew her face 
to his lips. " IjOok at me, dear. You'll love me more, I tell 



170 Hagar ReDdly 

you. And I'll be so good to you, you'll gee. To-morrow 
I waot you to go down to Tiffany's and pick out some lit- 
tle trinkets. Now don't look so frightened and puU 
away . . ." 

She opened her eyes, seeming somewhat reassured and 
quieted by the affection in his words. 

He felt less anxious too, as he saw her become more 
submissive in manner. But to be patient was hard as, in 
the light from the next room, he saw the black lustre of 
her hair and the smooth satin flesh of her breasts. 

Then she came closer to him, saying, *' Well, we ought 
to have gotten married to-day, anyway, Mr. Green- 
field." 

" Gotten married 1 ** 

"Yes, we ought to have thought of it, because some- 
how it would seem more ri^t. Will we get married to- 
morrow, then ? " 

The question came to him with all the emphatic im- 
peachment he knew his cunning deserved. 

" Why — dearie," he answered, " we • — • are not going 
to get married ! " 

She repeated after him, too startled, too stunned, to 
even understand: 

" We are not going to get married ! " 

In the instant her position burst upon her with all its 
barren truth, and now instinct took the place of experi- 
ence. 

" You mean," she begged, with a crying appeal, " that 
you didn't mean all along that we were going to get 
married P " 

The man beside her was totally unprepared for this 
strange culmination of his arduous labors. He saw the 
livid, convulsed face of the child with a disgust that was 
even greater than his desire. 

" Why, you — I never said a word about marrying, 

DiailizodbyCoOgle 



'Ragar ReveUg 171 

dearie. You mean to tell me you didn't underatandP 
Why, I've beeo truthful every minute. Other men might 
have told you anything, promised anything to get you. 
I've been fair. Now, for God's sake, don't make a scene." 

But she tore loose from his renewed grasp, her eyes 
dry, her voice gasping. All thought of fear had fled, 
though the idea that nothing would come of the dream 
that had nourished her for months, wag too overwhelming 
to realize. 

She was in full possession of her senses now — nearly 
calm even, in her resolve to fight her way out of her pre- 
dicament. 

In a moment she was out of bed and had slipped on her 
underclothing and petticoat. 

"What are you going to do?" he asked rather sav- 
agely, as he sat up and glared at her. 

" I'm going home. What do you think? " 

Instantly all the common animalism, the spirit of re- 
venge and conquest came back into his being, throwing 
off its ordinary manacle of calmness and tact. He re- 
alized what he was losing, how fooled he had been, what 
his builded dreams, his plans, his desires, all his invest- 
ment of time had come to. He saw that he was remaining 
pathetically by, while this child was getting the better 
of him. 

Frenzied, regardless of everything but his own desire, 
he jumped from the bed. 

" Why, you little fool," he twisted her wrists painfully* 
"do you mean to tell me that you never understood? 
What are you, a baby? You know I couldn't marry you. 
There are a hundred reasons for that. Why, even if I 
wanted to, it would knock my business in the head—" 
what would everybody say if I picked a girl from back of 
the counter and married berP Of course, you wouldn't 
understand anything like that, I suppose, looking at it 

L ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



17« Hagar ReveUy 

from jour side. But I've got a position that Fve got to 
live up to, in my private life as well as in mj business. 

" TTien another thing — I'm too old for that game. 
And I'm not so sure but what ;ou know that. Yes, I 
guess jou knew it all along, and just thought you'd have 
a little fun teasing me. You didn't suppose I was going 
to spend months of time and money, give up everybody 
and everything, run the chance of it getting to the store, 
just because you'd let me kiss you in the end, did you? 
I'm not a scHool-boy, Hagar." 

As his grasp tightened, Hagar became frantic. 

" Let me loose," she cried. ** Let me go or I'll scream.'* 

He laughed at her, saying: 

" 'Twill do you a lot of good." 

Then he backed up against the foot of the bed, drawing 
her with him, his nails buried deep in the skin of her arms. 
His temper seemed to have arisen again. 

" You can't get out of here unless I let you. The 
door is locked. Anyway, what kind of a place do you 
think this is? " 

Waiting for her answer, only an instant, he went on: 
" Well, 111 tell you. I don't live here. I only rented 
these rooms for the night." He emphasized each word 
with increased pressure of his nails. He was angered 
now and all his baser character, roused by the thwarting 
of his long cherished desire, came to the surface. 

" No," he emphasized again. " You can't go until I 
let you." 

For the first time, Hagar dared to look at him. She 
studied bis face and measured his power, hunting for the 
truth of what he was saying. 

But this strength on her part was only that instant of 
bravery that comes before despairing weakness, a search 
for some method of making him have compassion on her. 
At the moment she wondered where had gone those soft 



Hagar ReveUy ITS 

words, bis goodness to her; then she looked at the bluish 
imprints of his nails on her arms, and great beads of 
tears flocked into her ejes and brimmed over to her cheeks. 

Greenfield was getting more and more excited. He saw 
her eyes search the room in their absent staring waj, and 
thought she was hunting for some means of escape. He 
determined to give her a little fight before he would let 
her go. 

All of a sudden Hagar fell in a crushed heap on the 
floor at his feet. 

It frightened him. He stooped over her, and noticed 
that her breath was missing. Her face was white as the 
sheet on the bed. 

This was another unexpected dilemma. " Damn it — " 
he muttered under his breath. 

Then, as she seemed, instead of regaining consciousness, 
to collapse more and get whiter, he ran to the door, and 
unlocked it, meaning to call for help. Supposing she 
should die, heart-failure or something, and he was caught 
in this room with her! 

He became bewildered and ran back into the bath- 
room, filled two glasses with cold water and dashed their 
contents into Hagar's face. 

*' My God, little girl," he cried, slapping her wrists 
and shaking her. " Wake up, wake up, for God's sake." 

When she opened her eyes and the tint stole back into 
her skin, he felt like praying. 

" You've given me a rotten scare, little one," he said, 
with a great sigh of relief. 

Hagar noticed his pale face, and the beads of perspira- 
tion standing out on his forehead. Then she saw herself 
a crumpled heap on the floor. She looked around the 
room distractedly. 

" Oh, what has happened? " she begged. 

It was only a moment before she realized her situation 
.OOglf 



174 Hagar ReoeUy 

and began to sob in low, tumultuous tones that sbook 
her whole bodj, while Greenfield stooped down on the 
floor beside her, a little regretful that he had been scared, 
now that she had so easilj recovered her senses. 

At that moment he felt a little distressed, too, that he 
was the cause of her miserableness. He said gently: 
" I'm sorr J about this, little girl. Now brace up and 
forgive me. I guess you thinlc me pretty bad." Lifting 
her into a chair, he took a wet towel and wiped the tears 
from her eyes and cheeks. " Honestly, I'm sorry," he 
went on. " Now, let's dress and get a taxi and go home." 

He helped her put on her waist and when she was too 
weak to reach around to her collar, he buttoned it for her. 
After she was entirely dressed, he walked over to the 
mantel and rested his elbow on the marble shelf. 

" Really, I didn't know that you never understood the 
-whole thing." His voice had gone back to its kindlier 
tones again. 

" You were so mean and brutal, I'll never forpve you," 
Hagar answered weakly. 

Then she asked him for her coat. He handed it to 
her. 

GreenJield wanted to get her away quickly, and when 
she found her shoes were still unbuttoned, and she could 
not manage them with a hair pin, he bent over and fas- 
tened them with his fingers. 

Hagar thanked him, and her voice showed she had re- 
gained some of her composure. 

He said to her now: **WeIl, Hagar, we understand 
each other, at any rate, I'm your friend just the same. 
You can ask anything you want of me, and always feel 
you've got somebody to go to, if you ever need anybody. 

" Whenever you want to come," he continued, " I'll fix 
up a little flat and we'll have a nice time. In the mean- 
time, I know I can trust you. Of course, it would go 



Hagar ReoeUy 17S 

pretty hard with me, if you ever said anything at the 
store. I can trust you, can't I? " he asked earnestly, 
Hagar smiled wearily. '* Oh, I guess so.'* 
He went out into the hall, and at the telephone ordered 
a cab for her, into which he put her alone. 

It seemed only a minute hefore she was back at her 
boarding house, trudging up the torn carpet of the stair- 
way to her room. 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER XV 

Bbnjahin Gseenfixld showed his temper more than once 
during the next few days. For nearly the first time he 
was mean to the girls, and unkind to Miss Gillespie. And 
when she approached him on some point of business and 
ventured to ask at the same time what he was doing with 
Hagar, he went into a terrible rage, and told her she 
could give up her position, if it did not suit her. 

Si^ce Hagar had undertaken her position as guide, 
Miss Gillespie saw very little of her and now that Green- 
field talked in this manner, she understood his designs 
upon the girl, and determined to watch Hagar more 
closely. 

Hagar, on her side, went to work the next morning 
after her experience with Greenfield, feeling that she would 
not dare to look him in the face. A deep loathing filled 
her, a hatred that made her want to strike him. Beset 
by many confiicting emotions all morning, her greatest 
feeling was of rebellion against him, though there was 
still something else in her understanding that dis- 
turbed her even more. It was a feeling, that, instead 
of wanting to run away from him, she desired to be nearer 
to him and learn and understand and gain a more inti- 
mate knowledge of this problem. 

This feeling astonished her a great deal, for she knew 
she hated him, and was sure, too, that she would never 
give in to him or his temptations. t 

Strangely Hagar did not seek her mother's protection 
and solace during these days. Since she felt no great re- 
morse or grief at what she had passed through, nor any 
17« l..ilHlOlC 



Hagar ReveUy 177 

need for advice, it seemed foolish to worry her mother — 
at any rate for the present. 

Late that morning she met Greenfield, and notwith- 
standing her turbulent thoughts, forced herself to give 
him a friendly greeting. When he said, '* You are feel- 
ing better this morning. Miss Revelly?" she answered, 
" Ves, much better, thank you." 

The turn in her affairs came during the following week. 

Greenfield, realizing his clumsy failure, began an en- 
tirely new tack in his sail of conquest, deciding to leave 
her alone until she should come to him voluntarily. And 
Hagar, intuitively sensing this intention in his manner^ 
oddly enough became a little resentful. 

But it was over a month before he again asked her if 
she would mind lunching with him. He had noticed 
the changes in the expression of her face, from defiance to 
placidity, from placidity to bewildered irritation, and 
then finally lonesomeness and resignation- He thought 
that he had made her wait the proper time for her chas- 
tisement and was now rather sure that she wanted him, at 
least to talk to her. 

At any rate it was very di£Scult for him to hold out 
any longer. Hagar had surely spoilt all other women for 
him. He could not lose in dreams nor by day the appear- 
ance of her little hands and face and ankles. As for 
Hagar, she had really been lonesome. Herrick, whom she 
saw often again, and Miss Gillespie who stole into her 
room at night and divided time between lectures and 
warnings, failed to satisfy her. One had become rather 
alFectionate, which somehow disturbed her, while the other, 
the woman, lectured too much and painted so many ter- 
rible pictures of suffering and sadness, as to be merely 
depressing and tiresome. 

So she told Greenfield she would go, and, slipped into 
the ladies' dressing room on the second floor just before 



178 Bagar ReveUtf 

meeting him, to fix herself ao that she looked aa nice as 
possible. She felt exultant and happy again. Yet, to 
herself, while she studied her reflection and primped her 
hair, she told herself that she would go with him onlj 
to tr; to make him understand that he could be such a 
nice friend in a different way if be wanted to, and that 
it was not right for him to put himself on a level with 
the other men she had told him about. 

" I wonder," she said, as she tied the veil on the back 
of her hat, " if I can make him see it." 

Conscious of a certain intimacy with him that made 
her feel nearer to him than to anyone else, Hagar was 
strangely excited, though at the same time aware that it 
was wrong indeed that their relationship should have 
started upon such a terrible basis. 

Greenfield met her at the comer and as they crossed 
Sixth Avenue, Hagar was filled with determination. She 
even let him have an inkling of this in her manner towards 
him, though he, with not unnatural egotism, only took it 
for a submissive consent, and was inwardly pleased. 

" I've been thinking so much about everything,*' he 
told her, as they crossed the street. " Yes, I've been 
thinking a good deal." Then he said very suddenly, 
" You do love to do startling things, don't you, Hagar? " 

"Do you think ao? " she replied, rather more sweetly 
than she desired. As a reassurance she told herself that 
she would not start giving him the new understanding 
until they reached the restaurant. 

Greenfield was happy to find no resistance on her part 
at his opening wedge. 

*' Yes, you act the way you think one should act who 
is young and beautiful, and then, when it is all over, you 
wonder why you didn't act the way you wanted to. Am I 
not right?" 

" You are very — discerning," she said, looking up at 



Hagor ReveUjf 179 

him under her long lashes, and using, for perhaps the 
first time in her life, a word she had heard used onlj a day 
before b; a ladj shopper. 

As thej walked along Broadway, Greenfield thought 
she was never so beautiful as now. He told her this and 
ended bj saying, just as thej entered a large restaurant 
on Eighteenth Street, that be was making a bigger fool 
of himself over her, than he had thought possible. 

" Here I am coming back to you," he said. " I cer- 
tainly didn't think I could." 

Hagar did not answer him, deciding that as soon as 
they sat down she would tell him what was really in her 

They passed between long rows of tables, full of men 
and women, and when they found their seats, her usually 
pale cheeks were colored by a delicate tinge of red. It 
was only the old sign of a certain embarrassment that 
overcame her whenever she entered a public place. But 
Greenfield took her blushes to himself and was proud. 

As Hagar waited for their lunch, putting off from 
minute to minute her desire to upbraid Greenfield, she 
looked about the crowded room, and noticed a rather 
stoutish man with red face and plaid waistcoat, seat him- 
self at a table, where sat alone, two women. 

The man spoke rather gruffly to them, and as she ob- 
served, Hagar thought they showed some resentment. 
One of the women wore a large, feathery hat that came 
far down over her eyes. To her the man directed his at- 
tention and the closeness of their table made it easy for 
Hagar to hear their words. 

Said the man, " I've seen you before. You were at 
No. — Seventh Ave. last fall, weren't you? " 

The blonde woman smiled, and answered, ** Yes, but 
now I am at — " Then their talk became lower and 
Hagar turned to Greenfield. 

DolizodbvCoOglc 



180 Hagar ReveUy 

" Did you Bee what that man didP " she exclaimed. " I 
don't believe he even knew her." 

" Oh, yes, he did," Greenfield remarked, airily. " They 
were only playing. They knew you were listening. He 
is probably her lover." 

Then Greenfield said that they must get to their meal, 
or they wouldn't have any time to talk before her hour 
was over. 

They ate in silence for some time, when presently 
Greenfield, in soft low tones, interspersed by an occa- 
sional gentle touch of Hagar's forearm, or band, told her 
how he was unable to think of anyone else, and how he 
had missed her, so that he could not hold out any longer. 
He belittled himself as he went on talking, told her ear- 
nestly, how silly it was, after all, that a man his age should 
think that a girl of her youth and beauty could care for 
him. 

His mind, planning, and full of the decadent symphony 
that rang everlastingly in his being, now opened into 
more scheming channels. He gained courage and tact, as 
he saw her eyes soften, and as he went on, Hagar really 
became less rebellious, more of a receptacle for his 
words. 

When he spoke sadly of his age, saying that he should 
be a father to her instead of a man in love, she actually 
felt sorry. 

" Of course, I know what you think of me," he went on. 
*' You imagine that I'm playing with you for a little 
amusement. But I ask you, why then do I not play with 
the others? Oh, I know a face and I trust you with 
everything. And I say it openly to you. I'm in love 
with you, Hagar. That's it in a nutshell. I have been 
ever since you came into the store that first day." 

His hand was over her fingers, and she did not draw 
them away. 



by Google 



Hagar RevMy 181 

There was in the mind of Greenfield one great joyous 
realization. It was that he had quite suddenly stumbled 
onto the fact that the predominant note in Hagar*s 
make-up was an abnormal amount of sympathy. He saw 
that he might never have thought of it, he even wondered 
how he had come to find it out. 

It Was three minutes past one o'clock when Hagar 
pushed the button on the big register clock at the store. 
She went alone, as Greenfield had thought it best for them 
not to be seen entering together. 

And not until closing time that afternoon did Hagar 
suddenly realize she had forgotten entirely her resolve 
to go to lunch with him only that she might have the 
chance to let him understand what she thought, and how 
she was determined to fight out the battle to be a good 
woman. Instead she saw that she had a new kind of 
understanding of him, felt a sympathy for him which his 
word on parting, " Please, don't be sorry for me," did 
not alter. 

In the days that followed Greenfield was even more 
kind to her, and gradually she found again a good deal 
of happiness in being with him. She spent much time 
in thinking about their new relationship, and before very 
long she came to feel that although Greenfield would not 
word it, he was beginning to see things in the way she 
wanted. 

After work one evening, Hagar in an impulse took the 
ferry across to Hoboken. It seemed somewhat of a jaunt 
to go across the dark water all alone, though the feeling 
that really impelled her was the desire to get some place 
away from people, where she could think about the prob- 
lem that troubled her. 

Taking a place on the upper deck where she could lean 
against the railing and watch the towers of New York 
grow dim in the settling dusk, she felt as if she were some 

L ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



18!B Hagar ReoMy 

adventurer going on a journey of exploration. Once she 
thought she could see the outlines of Rheinchild's electric 
sign, but it melted into the ni^t as the boat burrowed 
onward. . 

But the trip oiFered little solace to her mood. Looking 
over the city Hagar realized how small a part she played 
in the great conglomerate mass. She felt so insignificant, 
her work seemed so futile. As she thought, she remem- 
bered what Greenfield had said to her when she told him of 
her proposed trip. 

" Yes, go over," he said, " and don't forget to think of 
yourself, as you stand by the deck-rail and see New York 
fade away." 

At that moment she wondered if he knew how lonely this 
would make her feel. 

Looking at the black, purplish outlines in the haze, she 
asked herself if he was not right after all. Of what use 
was it to struggle. One only lived once, and life was the 
way you made it. 

She said this over to herself many times, before the boat 
went into its slip, and each time found herself trembling 
and hesitating. Yes, she was nothing, no more than a fiy, 
in the big city. And yet, if she didn't work she couldn't 
live. Life seemed hard, especially if one got so little fun 
out of living. She wondered why so many people wanted 
to live, why men who were brave and strong didn't kill 
themselves. 

Standing there in the cold air of the bay, Hagar counted 
on her fingers how many years it would take het to save 
five hundred dollars, and found herself quite sobbing aloud 
when she had reached three hundred, for then she would be 
twenty-two, nearly an old woman. 

When the boat made a wide turn at the dock, she looked 
down into the eddying foamy wake, which appeared like a 
path of bubbling ice cream, and thought of herself as 



Hagar ReveUy 188 

being one of the cold, white bubbles, and of the bay, and 
the ocean and all that it led into, as being the world. 

" That's what I amount to, I guess," she said to herself 
Bereral times. " I'm just one of those bubbles," 

It was a strange idea, but it seemed so truthful, as she 
stood looking down into the water, that she gave a little 
gasp and turned away, trying hard to think of other 
things. 

Greenfield came to her mind again. And now, strangely, 
a feeling of satisfaction shot through her, when she 
realized that she had some one like him to turn to. 

This was really about all her trip had accomplished, for 
when she returned to the city and took the subway up- 
town, she felt even more lonesome than ever. 

A week later, an incident served to show her that Green- 
field was no worse than other men. This came about at 
an interview with the store physician, a man whom she had 
always respected because of his dignified bearing. 

For many days she had noticed a steady pain along the 
calves of both her legs. On arising in the morning she 
was quite relieved of this drawing, incessant ache, but at 
about ten o'clock the pain woul^ come slowly back again. 
It seemed to start at her ankles and to extend all the way 
up to the back of her thighs. The muscles of the calves 
troubled her the most, and she noticed that they were hard 
and eore to the touch. 

One morning when the aching became quite intolerable, 
and one of the girls, a little thin thing with chalky skin, 
had told her at the lunch hour about a disease that made 
the flesh turn to bone, she decided to seek medical advice. 
An hour later she was seated in the physician's little office 
telling him how she was troubled and that she feared this 
terrible disease. 

The doctor lauded and bared her foot and leg. Then 
after searching the limb for a possible cause, he looked at 



184 Hagar ReveUg 

her foot, while Hagar felt sure, because of hia mysterious 
manner, some awful doom was about to be pronounced. 

" You've got to wear a brace," he said. " Your arch 
is giving away. Lots of the ^rls have the same trouble. 
Ill write a little note for jou to the firm that makes them. 
It*B a steel piece, covered with leather, that fits into the 
shoe." 

Then he gave the white skin of her foot an affectionate 
pinch, adding: 

" You're too prettj a piece c** machinerj to stand up 
all day, anyway. Your foot was built to ride in auto- 
mobiles. Tell Mr. Greenfield that I prescribe one 
limousine for you." 

He looked at her very queerly, and when he said sud- 
denly that she must come back to-morrow '* so that they 
might have more time together," she felt somewhat 
scared. 

That night Hagar visited Miss Gillespie and told her 
about the malady. It was the first time she had seen Miss 
Gillespie for nearly a week, and she thought the woman 
looked a Uttle paler than usual. Miss Gillespie evidently 
noticed Hagar's close scrutiny and said, with ao effort at 
light-heartedness, *' No, Hagar, not drink this time. I'm 
worried about you." 

"About me, Miss Gillespie?" 

" Yes, dearie, I don't care enough to be worried about 
myself." 

The woman placed herself comfortably at the foot of 
the bed and after asking the surprised Hagar to sit down, 
continued: "Yes, dear child, I've been watching you, 
and my dear friend, Ben Greenfield." Then she asked in 
rather curious fashion, " What is he doing with you, 
Hagar ? " 

A few weeks before, Hagar would have told the woman 
everything, had she asked it. But now, she felt that when 



Hagar ReveUy 186 

Greenfield had folded her in his arms, there was placed in 
her a confidence and an obli^tion that was sacred. 
Then, Greenfield had, at their last meeting, made her 
promise that she would not tell. 

"Why don't you answer me?" Miss Gillespie asked, 

" Oh, why, there isn't anything to answer." Somehow 
at this moment she was thinking how lonesome Greenfield 
must he in his room, alone. 

" Has he ever taken you out in the evenings ? " 

Hagar hesitated. 

" Yes, a few times." 

" Where did you go ? " 

" Oh, why — we went to some of the restaurants." 

" No other places? " 

This questioning roused ire in the childish Hagar. 
What right did this woman have to question her so? She 
was capable of taking care of herself. It was always the 
same, everyone wanted to boss her about. Why couldn't 
they leave her alone? 

And she said angrily : " I can't see why it should in- 
terest you, Miss Gillespie." 

The woman looked at Hagar with an odd, searching 
glance which was full of soft humor and understanding. 

'* Please, dearie," she said, " don't get angry with me 
It is only for your own good that I talk in this way. You 
don't suppose I would if I didn't care for you, do you? " 
Her tones were a little harder now. " Yes, I am fond of 
you, and I mean to watch you. I know Ben Greenfield 
and all about his hfe on the ' Gay White Way,' though 
I must confess I never thought he would pick on my poor 
little Hagar." 

" Who said he has picked on me? " 

Miss Gillespie laughed. " Why you, dear, just now — 
when you got angry at my question. Oh, I know Green- 
field, he's really pretty clever, makes a woman f^ sorry 



186 Hagar ReoeUy 

for his bard luck, works the sympath; racket. Oh, I 
know him, Hagar." 

" But I haven't told you anything," blurted out Hagar* 
with an unconscious desire to prove to herself that she had 
not given awaj his confidence. 

" Yes, you have. You tried to protect him. That 
answers my question." Miss Gillespie drew her feet upon 
the bed, as if to make herself more comfortable. Then she 
said, rather kindly, " Now tell me, Hagar, where did he 
take you? " 

Hagar rose from her seat in the rocker. Her young, 
soft face was flushed and her little hands were clutched 
angrily together. 

" I tell you, Miss Gillespie, you shouldn't talk that way 
of him. He is very fond of me — and — well, if you 
want to know it, he would marry me if I wanted to. Now 
we won't talk about it any more." She stopped for a 
moment and then went on impulsively, " I don't see what 
it brings to be so dam good, anyway. You lecture to me 
because you, didn't manage right, and got the worst of it. 
Why you lost out, and now you're only grouchy about it. 
That's all. And then I've been thinking about something 
dse, too." 

"What is it, Hagar?" 

" Well, I've been thinking about people that are good 
looking. For instance, you know that you're not good 
looking and I'm beginning to find out that that's about 
all there is in this world. Everybody tries to make it 
easy for you if you've got the looks. I know I'm — well, 
not bad looking, and why should I make it just as hard 
for myself as it is for those who haven't got the looks. 
You Imow what I'm trying to say. Honestly, I'm getting 
tired of being like everyone else. And then everybody 
makes it so hard for me, just because I try. I don't see 
why I do try. It would certainly be a whole lot easier for 



Hagar ReveUff 187 

me if I didn't. Oh, ;ou don't kooir. Even to-day the 
doctor at the store SEud something about it. Whj, I 
could have a dozen dates for the theatre and dinner) if I 
wanted to. And I know some of the girls in the store 
would be glad to take just one of them." 

Miss Gillespie studied the serious little face for a long 
time before she spoke. " Poor, foolish Hagar," she mur- 
mured to herself. Then she changed the conversation to 
other things, knowing that Hagar's impulsive nature 
might lead them into some argument that would make 
trouble between them. 

As Miss Gillespie fell into a more reminiscent mood) 
Hagar lost some of her seriousness — the woman was 
always interesting when she talked of herself. 

After some time, which Miss Gillespie purposely let pasa, 
for the belligerent Hagar to become more composed, 
she began to tell of a love alFair when about HagaHs 
age. 

" It was when I was eighteen, at a little summer resort 
over in New Jersey," she said, adding that she had nof 
always had to work in a department store. 

" I know," assented Hagar, vaguely urging her to go 
on. 

The woman continued: "And every year we used to 
go down to this place, one of those typical summer hotds. 
You know the kind of place — everyone sitting on the ve- 
randah and telling each other that they'd dare do any- 
thing, because one is never serious in summer. 

" Well, there weren't so many people at the hotel because 
it wasn't very well known. So I was a sort of belle there, 
though it was not much of a game, on account of the men. 
There were only three that weren't married. Think of it, 
two old fools and a young boy of about fifteen, a good- 
looking little fellow who was going to some prep, school 
in the East. He bad blonde, curly hair and soft cheeks. 



188 Hagar RmeUj/ 

one of those sincere little chaps that you could tell any- 
thing to and they'd belieTe it. You know the kind? " 

" Sure." 

** Well, I picked him out to play around with. I needed 
Bomebody and I really liked the little fellow, anyway. He 
was easy, and comfortable, although all the front porch 
brigade gave me the devil for letting a little fellow like 
that fall in love with me,** 

" Did he fall in love with you? " interrupted Hagar. 

" Tea, he fell in love with me, wrote notes, two and three 
times a day, spent every cent he could get his hands on to 
buy me flowers. 

" It lasted that way for weeks. Then came the parting 
time, and the hard part. He had to go back to school. 
The last few nights it was pitiful to see the way he acted. 
He went around sad, wouldn't speak to his mother even, 
poor little fellow. 

" He was in love with me like a man of thirty. And I 
had been playing with him, thinking that he would under- 
stand. But he didn't. Somehow I guess, an older woman 
always attracts the younger men, but she always gets paid 
back. She may do it until she's twenty or so, and then 
the table changes. Well, back to my story. I saw that 
my duty lay plainly in front of me, Hagar. He must be 
made to see that I had only been foaling with him, had 
only been using him as a little summer flirtation. 

" And then the mother came to me and begged that I 
talk plainly to Harold and tell him how foolish he was. I 
didn't do that, but I did hit upon a great scheme. I saw 
it wouldn't be right to flat-f ootedly tell him that I didn't 
care for him, I had been playing the game too strong for 
that. At least, I didn't have the heart to do it. I 
decided, rather, that I would make him fall out of love 
with me — what I call a woman's prerogative — maybe 
that's not the right way to use it. ( ikioIc 



Bagar ReveUy 18d 

"Anyway, I weot ahead with my plans. I've thought 
about it a good many times since then. And I guess I've 
regretted that boy affair, about as much as anything I 
ever did. He's married now, living in California some 
place, got three children and is pretty rich." 

" That's a shame," interrupted Hagar. 

*'WeIl, they had a dance, and I decided to work my 
plan. 

** I knew how he had talked about a certain woman who 
had come up from the city on a Sunday excursion. She 
was all painted and frou-f roued, and everyone in the hotd 
ignored her. 

" So, knowing his dislikes, I rouged my cheeks until 
they looked like red apples, and then went downstairs to 
the dance. ' 

*' He was standing in the doorway waiting for me. 

'* ' Hello, Harold,' I said, rather coldly, and then went 
in and bad a dance with one of the old rou^s whom he 
thought I disliked." 

"Did he like that?" 

" You should have seen him. At first he glared at me, 
and when he saw me sit out the next dance with the same 
old sport, I thought he'd murder me with his eyes. Well, 
he disappeared and I saw him no more until the next morn- 
ing. They told me he had gone into the bar and bought 
a pint of whiskey, telling them it was for his mother, and 
then had drank nearly all of it. And they said that when 
the whiskey had taken effect, he swore and cursed me, until 
be became so maudlin, they had to carry him upstairs to 
his bed." 

Miss Gillespie paused. " Nov what do you think his 
words were as he greeted his mother P" she asked of 
Hagar. 

'* I can't imagine," said Hagar, rather excited. 

" Welt, they had no sooner thrown open the door and he 



190 Hagar Revelly 

saw his mother there, than he cried out, so that tbej could 
hear him all over the house; 'Mother, my God, she's 
painted, she's painted, mother.' " 

** How funny," Hagar whispered. 

** That was a lesson for me, Hagar," Miss Gillespie 
went on. " I made him suffer and I felt so ashamed after- 
wards, I would have done anything for him. And that's 
what would happen if you went out thoughtlessly. Vou 
can't do it. Well, they took him away the next morning. 
You see, I was his ideal." 

" I should think you would have felt very badly about 
it," murmured Hagar, as the woman finished her story. 

" Yes, I suffered the same way when I lost my ideal, so 
I have no quarrel with God about it." 

Miss Gillespie left that night with a word of warning. 

A few nights later, Herrick called Hagar on the tele- 
phone. His call was announced to her just as Miss Gilles- 
pie was leaving her room, and it pleased her to have Miss 
Gillespie know that Greenfield was not taking up all of 
her time. She was pleased, too, because Greenfield, having 
been called to Baltimore on some business, Herrick's visit 
would break her spell of loneliness. 

When Hagar came back into the room, her face happy 
and smiling, Miss Gillespie asked for the cause of it. 

" Who do you think is coming? " 

** I can't imagine," replied the woman. 

" You'd never guess." 

Miss Gillespie took one long chance, "Herrick?" 

" Now what do you think of that? " exclaimed Hagar. 
" How did you know? " 

" I didn't know who else it could be, except Greenfield, 
and I know he is out of town." 

'* Yes, it's Herrick. Do you like him ? " asked Hagar. 

** Yes, I do, from the one time I saw him," said Miss 
Gillespie, " He's clean cut and decent looking." 

L,.,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



Hagar RevOly 191 

Herrick took Hagar to one of the big dance halls ia 
Harlem that night. He told her he had been working 
hard for over a week and wanted to " celebrate." FeeUng 
that she had neglected him, Hagar readily fell in with his 
wish. Not having seen him for a few weeks, she now 
learned that he had been planning to leave her mother's 
house for some time, and that only the day before, he had 
taken a much larger room, with a bath attached, on One 
Hundred and Sixteenth Street. 

" I think it will make ih easier to see you, Hagar," he 
told her. " Somehow I always felt that I must account 
to your mother whenever I left you and went home." 

As they went down the steps of the Elevated, Hagar 
thought him better looking than formerly. He had on a 
high folded collar, of which the points came close together 
in front, and his hair was brushed back sleek. It changed 
his appearance a good deal. 

" I've wanted to see you for three weeks," he said, when 
they had found their seat. " Why haven't you been home 
when I called?" 

" I've been so busy." 

"Busy? You little devil, 111 bet you've beeo leading 
some fellow a merry chase." 

" You think you are discerning, Mr. Herrick, don't 
you?" she answered. "Well, you're wrong. My new 
job tires me out so, and then, I haven't wanted to see 
anyone, anyway." 

" You don't appreciate me, Hagar." 

" What do you want? " 

" Oh, be kind to me." 

" You think you need it? " 

Her question came roguishly, but at that moment she 
happened to look into his face and saw that he was down- 
cast and sad. More kindly she said: 

"Why, what's the matter, Mr. Herrick?" .. , 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,L-'OOglf 



IM Hagar ReoeUy 

He took her liand gently. " Well, in the first place, 
weVe known each other long enough for you to always 
call me Frank, and in the second place, just — just real- 
ize that I am crazy about you." 

" Now don't be foolish." 

She pulled away, hut he squeezed her hand more ti|^tly, 
and after a time, she offered little resistance. No one 
in the car could see, for with some forethought, he had 
bought a newspaper. 

In the quarter of an hour that it took them to reach the 
dance ball from the Elevated station, he talked more of 
himself than in all their previous meetings. 

Hagar realized, quite suddenly, that it was a comrade, 
a playmate, that she was needing, that she had needed all 
along; some one to be gay with and frolicsome, where the 
relationship was not serious, and where there was never 
talk about the terrible things, such as Greenfield had 
always on his tongue. 

Hagar thought about this as they walked on, and only 
once, when Herrick noticed her quietness and squeezed her 
arm and just for the pleasure of seeing him pout, she 
lectured him, was her mind taken away from this thought. 

It seemed to her now that she had done a terrible thing 
in spending such a long time with Greenfield, with his 
worrying talk and unhappy plans. With him, it had 
always been problems. She thought of all she had en- 
dured with him. It made her sad even to think about it 
now. And at that moment she decided never again to be 
sad and unhappy, but always frivolous and light-hearted. 
Herrick might help her along in, that line, she thought. 
Life was so short. Even Greenfield had preached that. 
And how much younger she felt with this man at her side. 

They were within two blocks of the dance hall. Herrick 
was telling her of past vicissitudes, and stirring night-time 
adventures, while she cast furtive sidelong glances at him. 



"Bagar ReveUg 198 

It ratlier thrilled her to listen to his daring tales. Some- 
how he made her fed proud to be with him. 

Although everything Herrick said was marked by 
youthful bravado, his words came to her understanding 
like a sparkling sunhght that threw its splendor on all the 
dark, worrying days of the past weeks. Hagar even made 
him walk a little ahead of her for a time, so that she could 
look at his square shoulders, his close-cropped blonde hair 
in the hack and the broad clean-shaven nape of his neck — ■ 
a conceit which he was at a loss to fathom. Just before 
they reached the dance hall there even came over her a 
desire to be near him, to feel those muscles that lay pli- 
antly under his coat sleeve. 

At the moment, she could not help comparing him with 
Greenfield, and she realized how the other man's curly hair 
and worn face had bothered her. She remembered too, 
that Greenfield's arms were soft and not muscular. 

Looking at Herrick's back, as at her command he walked 
ahead of her, she thought to herself : " He's a dear 
fellow and I've been mean to him. Yes, I've been a fool." 

When Herrick came laughingly back to her, they walked 
along slowly, Herrick gay and light-hearted, and Hagar 
also happy in being with someone who caused her no fear 
and gave her no cause for worrying. 

Gaining the Trocadero, or the Hall of Joy, as Herrick 
called it, Hagar waited in the vestibule, while he went in 
to get the tickets. 

She had thought they were to be spectators, but as he 
came out, Herrick exclaimed: 

" I've bought dancing tickets for two. Well have a 
^eat time, if you like to dance." 

He said it with some doubt in his voice, and she 
answered quickly: " Oh, yes, you bet. I love to dance." 

However, after they went in, the hall was so crowded 
they decided to sit in the balcony for a whiles 

,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



194 Hagar RmeUy 

It h&d turned suddenly cold during the da; and the hall 
waa overheated. A low balcony ran around the entire 
room and in many places under its shadow, were couples 
sitting and drinking, with a draught blowing on them 
from the open windows. 

Orer-developed young girls, with weird, searching eyes, 
promenaded during the intermissions, stopping now and 
then to converse with the sallow-faced youths that stood 
along the edge of the cleared floor. Everyone wore a look 
of strange, unnatural eagerness, and Hagar could not 
resist letting herself slip into the same mood. 

Sitting quietly beside Herrick, she gazed on the 
dancers' gyrations, which corresponded so closely with the 
sensuous music, eager for a better acquaintance with this 
happy bohemian life. Every now and then, as some 
dancer would whirl past them, she would exclaim : " How 
fascinating ! " 

Herrick was more interested in watching her than in 
looking down upon the dancers. He understood easily, 
the metamorphosis that was taking place in her. He saw 
the eagerness, recklessness, abandon, straying into her 
eyes and lips and mouth. 

She was indeed enjoying herself and he felt pleased and 
happy with her, even quite pleased with himself for having 
thought of this place. Hagar had shown such a disin- 
clination to be unconventional, like the other girls he knew, 
that he had hesitated to take her out at all. As he called 
for her that evening, he had pictured in his mind, a few 
dreary hours spent monotonously in the parlor, or if they 
did go out together, some petty quarrels and arguments. 
Now he was indeed happy to see how he had been mistaken. 

He turned to her and said, " Do you like it here, 
Hagar? " 

'* Oh, I certainly do," she replied, " Do you come here 
oftan?" .- . 

DiailizodbyCjOOgle 



Hagar RmtUg 196 

" Oh, I come here a good deal. But I'm certainly glad 
you like it." 

A jaded girl with a thin pink dress and dark purplish 
rings of dissipation under her ejes, began dancing the 
Bear Dance, with one of the sallow-faced youths. Every- 
cne clapped when they had finished, and as she threw a 
kiss to a group of friends in a comer, the golden hracelet 
around her thin wrist caught the light and sparkled like 
a brilliant. 

After the applause had died out the tired musicians ac- 
cepted a round of drinks brought to them by a bleary- 
eyed mulatto waiter. 

Presently, another dance started up, a whirling, reckless 
affair, and everybody laughed and clapped again. 

It was all a sham and sickly gaiety, and even Herrick 
was a little aware of this, hut to Hagar, who saw only the 
surface glitter of the sodden place, and beard only the 
eager responsiveness in her own youthful being, this was 
the real life. Before the evening had passed, she had 
drunk a glass of beer and had danced a waltz with Her- 
rick's strong arms holding her close in to him. 

Delightful times followed that evening. Herrick took 
her to the theatre, to the different caf&, they sat and 
talked, confiding, complaining, imparting hidden secrets 
of their past. To Hagar it was very wonderful to be 
young again, and gay. It was so sweet to have a comrade 
and companion. 

He called her up on the telephone every morning before 
she went to work, and not a day passed that she didn't send 
him a note, should it happen that they could not see each 
other. 

Greenfield and his wishes had really passed out of her 
mind, except for the time she saw him at the store. She 
told the manager whenever he stopped and asked her how 
she was getting along, and why she was avoiding him, that 



196 Hagar ReveUy 

it was because she was thinking about what he proposed, 
and that she didn't want to see him until she had decided. 
Her little hTpocrisy always made her lau^, after he 
walked so quietl; awa; from her. 

But she thought very little of Greenfield. Her days 
were too full of other things. Each morning, as she 
awoke with the sun shining in upon Her, was a fresh foun- 
tain of expectancy. Sometimes when she walked to the 
subway in the rare, crisp spring air, she felt as if Heaven 
had looked down upon her and had spread over her some 
magic kind of mantle. 

As the days went by Hagar grew more and more fond 
of Herrick. Her life seemed even too full of happiness to 
spend a moment in sleeping or eating. For long periods 
at a time she would find herself sitting with nothing in ber 
head but an inexplatnable feeling of happiness, and in her 
soul the vague sense of pleasure that comes to one who 
loves, that sense of pleasure that makes one liken every 
shadow, every spot of sunshine to some word or thought of 
their lover. 

When she looked into the mirror and perceived how 
radiant and fresh she looked, and then compared herself 
to what she had been only a few months before, she felt 
so exultant, that had Herrick been near, she would have 
taken him in her arms and hugged him. Very distinctly 
now, she remembered how worn out she had formerly been 
when she went out with Greenfield. 

Hagar and Herrick saw each other almost every 
evening. Sometimes they found a strange happiness in 
being silent, and would spend hours together, without a 
word from each other. 

Then, on other evenings, they would tear around from 
one bobemian place to the other, with Herrick always 
boybhiy eager to spend his last penny, and Hagar repri- 
manding him for his recklessness. 

DolizodbvCoOglf 



Hagar RmeUy 197 

She had a task now, to Bave him from his own daring, 
acd she took an astomBhiog delight in this mission, making 
him stop his incessant smoking of cigarettes and giving 
her his solemn word that he would never drink again. 

And when, for a few weeks, he gave her a part of his 
salary to keep safely for him, she was J^eased inex- 
pressibly. 

At ni^t, when it was time for them to part so that both 
could get a decent rest, the ordeal was a Spartan one. 
But it pleased her to make this sacrifice, for his health's 
sake, and she found a certain comfort in her common 
sense. He responded to her caresses and commands like 
a toy. She would say, " Time to go now," and he would 
pout and look sad-eyed, and then as she petted his cheeks 
and said, ** Poor hoy," he would give a great boyish laugh, 
and kiss the lips that were uttering the command. 

At other times she would murmur sweet words into 
his ears in an impulse of pity, which he found could 
always be brought on by telling her how hard he was 
working. 

Time passed. One Sunday they went into the country, 
to a queer little place a few miles up on the Hudson. It 
waii wonderful to be in the woods in the spring sunshine, 
and after taking lunch at the hotel, they found a path that 
led through a pretty forest glen, all alive with sprouting 
maples and elm trees. It was early spring, and they came 
to many soggy places, little miniature swamps. More 
than once he lifted her over a marshy spot, where, shaded 
by the trees, the last remnants of a snow storm lay perish- 
ing. 

Once a great windfall, with its bruised bark, lay directly 
across their path, and by common impulse they halted 
their arm-in-arm progress to sit on its trunk. 

Something compelled them to talk in hushed voices, and 
for a long time they sat there quietly. 



198 Hagar RrveUy 

Then, in the trees overhead, a solitary robin, chirping 
gaily, attracted their attention. Its red breast stood out 
like a drop of blood against the lofty blue sly. 

" Isn't it wonderful, dear, with all the birds and trees? " 
she whispered, solemnly, as if afraid that the forest mi^t 
bear. 

" Wonderful," he whispered back. 

For a long time they sat with arms around each other, 
their feet dangling above the ground. When they talked, 
they always spoke in the same hushed voice, as if they 
must needs match up with the silence and hush of the 
forest. 

" It's great being here like this, isn't it, Hagar? " said 
he, after a spell of stillness. 

" Oh, I should say so. I just love it. Don't you? **. 

" I should say. It's just like that story about the t»a 
orphans in the woods. It's just like we were the onlj' 
people in the world, as if there wasn't anyone else but just 
you and me." 

" Tell me about the story, Frank." 

*' Oh, I don't remember it, but it's something about two 
orphans being lost in the woods and then they got married, 
or something, and lived happUy ever after." 

She clasped his hand tightly. 

"That's pretty near like us, isn't it?" after she had 
thought about the fairy tale. 

"Well, we're happy anyway, aren't we, Hagar?" 

" I should Bay," she sighed. " Aren't you awfully 
happy ? " 

" Sure I am." 

" I certainly never was happy like this," she confided ; 
" why I'm happy all the time now, I just go to bed feel- 
ing so happy, Frank, and when I wake up I — well, I'm 
just happy, that's all." 

The conversation drifted on to how pleased she was that 



Hagar ReveUy 199 

be gave up all his vices. He asked whj he ought not make 
the sacrifices, if she desired them. 

" Why shouldn't I," he said ; " if you wanted it? " 

" It was good of you just the same," she replied, ear- 
nestly. 

They had spent a long time in this lover-like companion* 
ship, when they noticed that darkness was coming on and 
the air was getting chilled from the absence of the sun. 

** Don't you think we'd better go? " suggested Hagar, 
with the wish that they could stay there indefinitely. 

He looked around. 

"Say, it is getting late, isn't it?" he exclaimed. 

Then he took her in his arms and started to lift her 
from the log, though first he planted a long, ardent kiss 
on her lips. 

When she pushed him away, she said, playfully, ** You're 
a naughty boy, I nearly lost my breath ; I thou^t you'd 
never finish." 

The remark seemed so droll that both nearly fell off 
the log, from laughter. 

It was quite dark and cold when they reached the little 
inn-like hotel. The train back to the city was caught with 
just a few seconds to spare. 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER XVI 

Spuno neared its end and the hot sultry days of early 
Bummer took the place of exhilarating zephyrs and crisp 
sunshine. 

Hagar*8 companionship with Herrick was now an ac- 
cepted affair of love, with all the exaltation, all the less- 
ened forethought of youth, coupled with its sweet vigor 
and fragrance. With him she was happy always. If a 
night passed that she did not hear from him, she was 
obsessed by a sadness that engulfed her, spending hours 
on end, listening for the telephone, starting with a clutch 
at her heart at each little fantastic tingle, and terribly 
unhappy and mournful, if she had to seek her bed with 
word from him, still wrapped in the black silence of the 
night. 

Sometimes it happened that after she had gone to bed 
his belated ring down in the hallway would awaken her 
out of some unhappy dream. Then she would rush out of 
bed athirst for his voice, and it would seem that life 
were again worth the living. 

The telephone became their b£st means of communica- 
tion. She grew to nearly know the ring of his call. To 
think there had to be a centra] who brought them 
together was hard to bear. It seemed wrong that anyone 
should share in this message of affection between her lover 
and herself. When she heard his warm voice, it was as if 
he had actually come and touched ber, as if his words were 
little winged kisses that flew over the wires and nestled on 
her lips ; as if lingering there, they would say : ** Poor 
dear, here are his kisses." 

«» 

DiailizodbvGOOgle 



Hagar RtveUy jU)l 

And after such a time as this, when a belated rigil had 
at last been rewarded, she would rush into Miss Gillespie's 
room or into Miss LaMotte's and talk herself hoarse about 
her work at the store, or a new idea in the management of 
her position, while all the time she would be thinking of 
Herrick. 

Her thoughts were of him always. One daj she saw 
a man in the street wearing a hat that resembled one 
Herrick wore. She rushed after him, so that she could see 
his face. There was a hurried " Excuse me," and the man 
was left in wonderment. He could not know bow empty 
was her heart after this disappointment, 

Hagar*8 love for Herrick made a marked change in her 
attitude towards those about her. She was more geniid 
and kind, and even talked more amiably to Greenfield. 

Noticing this, Greenfield felt sure that it would not be 
long before she responded to his desires. He told himself 
with more assurance that he must only hold out and give 
her time. To Miss Gillespie also, Hagar was sweeter, and 
the woman was made happier because now she felt, as she 
watched Hagar's crazy little rushes about the place, that 
the child was content again, and had now found balance in 
the youthful pleasures offered by Herrick. 

"You're just like a little furry kitten these days, 
Hagar," the woman would say. " I'm so glad." 

One evening, Hagar found her lover in a mood that was 
taciturn, even tinged with a slight melancholy. He told 
her the cause was an unkind word at the factory and the 
fear that he might be laid off on account of an unusually 
dull season. She tried to cheer him by her sympathy and 
caresses, and when his face at last brightened again, she 
felt a great pride in the fact that she had been of service 
to him. To herself she reflected, that he needed her, and 
wished that she could share all his troubles in this manner. 
She wished that she might ever be his servitor. , 

.oog Ic 



!tO!t Hagar Revelly 

That evening they went into a caf^, and everj chord 
from the orchestra's strings breathed indescribable charm 
to her. It made her realize more than ever before 
Herrick's ability for keeping her in a land of enchantment. 
They sat for three hours in an ecstatic silence and only 
the glances that crossed between them, showed the tumult 
of emotion that was being engendered. 

Herrick managed to get ahold of money during this 
period so that they might keep up their hunt for pleasure. 
Once she missed the signet ring that he usually wore, and 
knew that he had pawned it. Somehow this made him 
seem to her more manly. She was affected a good deal 
when she thought that he cared so much for her as to 
make this sacrifice. 

One Saturday evening, toward fall, a railroad advertise- 
ment on a Broadway surface car caught their eyes, and 
almost simultaneously, they decided on the morrow to re- 
visit the little place on the Hudson. 

Herrick called for her at the boarding house at about 
noontime the next day, and they readied the West Forty- 
second Street ferry, just in time to board their boat. 
Their hurried plunge through the crowd left them breath- 
less and flushed. 

" Supposing we had missed the boat," she exclaimed. 

" I guess we would have had to walk," he replied. 

" Foolish boy." 

"Well, we wanted to have a little holiday together, 
didn't we? " 

The boat was moving slowly out into the bay, tooting 
and pufBng its way, like some huge, clumsy, water animal. 

" Didn't we? " he asked again. 

Hagar took his hands and looked kindly into his stern 
set face, happy because she knew that of all the people 
who might see him, she alone was able to read what lay in 
his thoughts. 

DolizodbyGoOgle 



Hagar RevOly SOS 

** Of course, boy," she answered. 
« WeU? " 

" WeU? " 

" Theo we would have wallted because it's the only place 
I know where people don't bother you. I think 1*11 take 
a year's lease on it and rent it oat to lovers." He laughed 
at the idea. 

" Yes, how grand," she cried. " Then I could take 
tickets at the gate and see that only real lovers like ut 
got in." 

Herrick nodded meditatively, adding that they might 
not do much business, because they were the only two real 
lovers in the world. 

It was mid-afternoon when they reached the little inn. 
A soft grey nust, laden with a purplish refraction of the 
sun, lay in a heavy blanket over the river and chased away 
their desire for a boat ride. 

But on land the air was clear and fragrant, and from 
the trees overhead, came a sighing breath of wind. 

*' It*B certainly a great day, Frank," said Hagar, after 
they had climbed the steep path back of the hotel. 

A wish came into her mind to walk along a certain 
wooded pathway, where they could be alone, and the 
shadows unmindful, 

Herrick, reading the unspoken words, said : " Our old 
walk, then, HagarP" 

Quickly agreeing, Hagar added that they shouldn't 
come in with the first appearance of dusk, but should get 
a basket with sandwiches at the hotel and stay out and 
watch the moon rise over the water. 

It seemed a fine idea, and for a moment they quarrelled 
petulantly, both claiming ownership to the happy sug- 
gestion. Then they ran down the hill to the hotel for 
the basket of lunch. 

The i^n was kept by a middle-aged man and bis wife, 

.■,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



S04 Bagar Revettjf 

and the chfldlesBoess of their domicile was made appar- 
ent bj the number of cats that shared their home. Mrs- 
Mallory carried a pet kitten on her shoulder, while her 
husband sat upon the verandah, his pipe in his mouth 
and two big, grey, purring animals at his feet. They 
were very kind people and to Hagar they showed their 
regard by their petting, solicitous words and caressing 
glances, while to Herrick they said, as the pair went off 
gaily with a heavy basket: 

" Take good care of the little lady, young man." 

" Oh, I will," Herrick laughed, saying that he was as 
fond of Hagar as they were. 

As the young people went up the hill back of the bouse» 
the old man and his wife stood in the sunlight on the 
porch, waving a farewell until they had disappeared. 

" They're funny, aren't they,** Hagar said, as soon as 
they were out of ear-shot. " But the old lady's a dear. 
She thou^t you wouldn't take good care of me, didtt*t 
she? " 

" Yes, I suppose she was afraid I*d throw you from 
some precipice, or into some chasm of oblivion." 

" Whatever that means,** Hagar added quickly. 

They were walking along Indian fashion, through a 
thickly wooded trail, and Herrick was too much occu- 
pied in separating the low-hanging branches to notice 
her remark. 

But she called his attention to the big words he had 
used, and he answered: 

** Why, Hagar, do you mean that you don't know what 
a chasm is?" 

She laughed playfully. " I don't know what an ob- 
livious chasm is. I*m not a teacher of geography, or 
whatever it is that talks about chasms and things.'* She 
added as if she were hurt, " I don't think you ought to 
— to make fun of roe, either." 

DiailizodbvGOOgle 



Bagar Reoi^y SOS 

Herrick relieved the situation b; saying that he waa 
Dot serious and that she only lacked sense of humor. 
Then he turned around to her and, as an apology, kissed 
her, while she, in acknowledgment of the offering, slipped 
her hands through his arm and gave it a slight but well- 
meaning squeeze. 

" You must teach me all these wonderful things, m; 
boy," said she, very softly. 

In silence they walked up a steep hill, until they found 
a grassy plot that was not too rolling. Here they en- 
sconced themselves. 

Down in the valley the waving tops of the maples and 
elms danced gaily in the fading sunlight, and off in the 
distance, hanging like a halo over the curving ribbon of 
water, was a faint rainbow, flaunting its subtle colors in 
the dying glow. 

"Let us watch the sunset from here," suggested 
Hagar. 

" Isn't it too windy? " he asked. 

*' It will die down with the sunset." 

She threw her jacket on the ground, and then pulled 
him down beside her. 

" The grass will get damp pretty soon. We ought 
to have thought and brought a blanket." 

" Oh, I don't think it will get very bad," Hagar re- 
plied. 

For a long time they sat in peace. Hagar was so 
happy ; her heart so full and yet so li^t ; she felt as if 
they were floating above the world in some big ship that 
kept them beyond all bother and trouble. Sitting 
quietly, they held each other's hands and looked out over 
the river. 

Presently their attention was diverted by a daring 
little woodpecker, who began pecking his way into 
a tree a few feet from them. For a time both Hagar 



<06 Hagar RmeUjf 

and Herrick were lost in regarding its energetic labor. 

" He's working his head off, and yet he won't ever get 
any place," Herrick said, as they watched its efforts. 
" That's the way a good many of us do, I guess." 

Listening to his words, Hagar discovered a bit of sad- 
ness in them. 

" Don't be unhappy, Frank," she exclaimed, as she 
puckered her lips, " You couldn't be if you knew how 
happy I was." 

Then the woodpecker flew away and left them both 
staring at the setting sun, which, like a rim of red and 
gold, was slowly disappearing behind a rift of clouds in 
the horizon. 

" We really ought to be happy, dear," she said, very 
quietly. " Everybody else is so unhappy." 

Herrick regarded her with a kindly glance. 

" Yes, I know, hut it's pretty hard to keep from 
thinking, when you see what happens to people, just be- 
cause they don't." 

"Don't what?" 

*' Oh, don't think, and plan ahead." 

" Oh, I know, but I think one gets along just the same, 
sometimes even better, don't you? " 

Feeling intuitively that under her words was veiled the 
understanding that he took life too seriously (she had 
told him that before), he said: 

" You don't know how the world is balanced, Hagar. 
When there is somebody really happy on one end of the 
plank, there is somebody on the other end who has lost 
what the other has gained, and is just as unhappy." 

Hagar studied his serious, expressive face before she 
spoke. 

" You talk in such riddles sometimes, Frank. You are 
just like father when he discussed Wagner. It used to 
bore me to death." 

L ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



Hagar RiveUy %fl 

" I'm sorry, little girl." 

But now there was something so strange in his tone 
that she turned to him and found him staring vacantly 
off into the settling dusk below them in the valley. 

She gave his coat sleeve a little tug, as if to bring him 
to his senses. " For heaven's sake, Frank, don't let's get 
sad." 

And he jerked hia head hack and squared bis shoulders 
at her pleading. 

" Of course, we won't," he exclaimed. " Well be 
happy — like two kids, the two in the woods — yes? " 

" Sure," she replied seriously. " It's the only way 
to be." 

Coming up the river in the distance was a little steamer. 

" Oh, look at the Albany boat." He directed her gaze 
with his finger. " Doesn't it look like a big grey bug, 
crawling along in the dark? " 

" It certainly does." 

" How would you like to be on it, Hagarp " 

" rd rather be here," she laughed. " We'd have to be 
sitting stiffly against the rails, there." 

They watched the boat until the darkness crept up and 
enveloped them. And then, as the stars began peeping 
out from behind the weird banks of clouds, Herrick was 
inspired to repeat to her a little poem he had come across 
and memorized a year before. 

" The spell is broke, the cbann is flown 
Thus is it with life's fitful fever: 
We madly stoile when we sbaald groan 
Delirium is our best deceiver. 

Each Indd interral of Thought 
Becalls the woes of nature's charter 
And he that acts as wise men ought 
Bat lives, as saints have died, a mai^." 



:,, Google 



sot Hagar SevtUp 

" Ob, bow wonderful," she exclaimed, when he had fin- 
ished. " You didn't write that, did you? " 

" No — not exactly. It's something from Lord Byron. 
I saw it once and learned it. I think it's wonderful, 
don't you? It's got so much feeling in it." 

" Wonderful, indeed," she agreed. " I didn't even 
know you liked poetry." 

" Well, it's the only one I know, but I love it DonH 
you? " 

" Yes." 

" Yes, I like it a lot," he added. 

" So do I." 

Hagar threw herself on her back, her hands folded un- 
der her head, her eyes studying the stars. 

In this manner she lay silently for some time, looking 
up at the changing patterns, watching each little spot 
of twinkling light as it made its first appearance. Fall- 
ing into a reverie, she dreamed herself a queen, walking 
through the silvery bowers of the stars. She was so 
happy . . . every streak in the sky seemed a Jacob's 
Ladder — leading to future bliss, and every rung of it 
that she trod was jewelled with porphyry or topaz, and 
garlanded by wreaths of delicate spring-time blossoms. 

Then she gave a deep sigh. 

" What's the matter, Hagar? " he asked. 

" Oh, Frank, I'm just thinking how wonderful it is to b« 
up here, away from everybody, all alone." 

He too lay back by her side. 

** I see the great dipper," he cried out boyishly. 

" Where? " 

To show it to her, he drew closer and passed one arm 
under her head. With the other he pointed it out to her. 

They studied the heavens until they had exhausted 
all the old figures: the Little Dipper, the Great Bear, 
the Milky Way; then they began counting the stars 



Hagar ReveUy S09 

that lay wedged in between two great ropes of clouds. 

But the clouds moved with the wind and more and more 
stars showed themselves, and at last,, after thej had 
counted the numbers aloud with greater and greater ra- 
pidity they became very excited. 

" Ob, such fun," Hagar laughed. 

Soon they gave up this occupation to watch the slow 
mounting of a great, large star at the horizon. Slowly it 
moved up into the heavens, and Hagar was astonished to 
learn from him that the stars had motion. 

He tried to explain to her that there' were little sys- 
tems, each with its own course to pursue. 

" I thought it was the earth that moved," she pro- 
tested. 

Herricic thought a moment, somewhat puzzled. 

" Well, maybe you're right. But I believe it is the 
way I say." 

** I never heard of it before," Hagar commented. 

Using his fingers as imaginary bodies, he tried to ex- 
plain to her this theory, a little doubtful himself as to 
the correctness of his remark. 

When he had finished, he said : " That's what they call 
astronomy." 

Hagar looked upon him full of admiration. " Gee, 
Frank, you certainly know a lot, don't you? " 

With a modest shrug of his shoulders, he laughed 
off her exclamation, thou^ Hagar 's eyes were still 
searching him proudly. 

Then Herrick saw another planet rise along the black 
rim of the earth. He tried to point it out to her, but 
she could not locate it. 

Angered with herself, she cried : " I can't find it." 

" You can if you try." 

" Oh, where is it? " 

" There it is, where my finger is pointed." i , 



SIO Hagar RevOly 

« Oh, Frank!" 

** There, don't jou seeP It'a coming up now, ri^t in 
the path of the Big Dipper. Dont you aee it? " 

" No — you foolish boy.** 

And as they lay, laughing at her inability to find the 
star, their bodies suddenly touched, and instantly, by 
common consent, as if they had been fighting off the im- 
pulse all evening, their lips met in a long, impetuous, 
heated kiss. 

" I love you, Hagar. Do you love meP ** 

" Yes," she whispered. 

The next instant they were struggling desperately in 
each other's arms, and a moment later he had won her. 

. . . The moon had come into its own, caparisoned 
in 8 medley of yellow and red; the stars were echoing 
faint, sQent messages to each other in the firmament above 
them. 

Side by side they sat, isolated, alone and beyond a 
worldly turmoil. 

Hagar took his hand and entwined her dainty fingers 
amongst his own. 

" I love you very, very much, Frank,** she murmured. 

He remarked that he could outline the distant ap- 
proach of a locomotive on the shining rails in the valley 
below. 

" We'd better be going," he said. " It must be late." 

She did not heed his words, only searching his face 
and whispering: "How wonderful it will be, Frank, 
when we are married." 

Her words startled Herrick somewhat, but he whispered 
back, " Yes, darling." 

As they walked to the inn there was chastity in her 
thoughts, and a deep belief in her heart of hearts that 
now she had entered into perpetual happiness. i , 



CHAPTER XVn 

A BEBixs of moods, unusual indeed to the phlegmatic 
Greenfield, overtook him after he became actually aware 
of Hagar's indifference. 

At times he would be gay and go out upon the streets 
or to the different restaurants, and meet his friends, in 
his usual affable, pleasant manner; again he would be sol- 
emn, morose, and show palpable signs of his unhappiness 
to anyone who would come near him. 

During this period he often walked the streets wonder- 
ing why he was so different now, so disturbed, when all 
the old possibilities for pleasure were still at hand. He 
would walk along, a tight grip upon the handle of his 
cane, murmuring that he did not deserve this lonesome- 
ness, that he must get above it, and not be such a 
fool. Breathing self -imprecations, forming new reso- 
lutions for the future, he would stalk from one place to 
another. 

As the weeks passed and he was becoming actually 
aware that Hagar was growing farther apart from him, 
and that he was probably losing her, a species of unrest 
belayed him that brought to his life probably the intens- 
est feeling of loneliness he had ever suffered. Many 
times he would be so worn out from thinking and analyz- 
ing that he would retire early in the evening, only to be 
up at twelve or one o'clock, dressed again, confessing to 
himself that he could not get to bed so peaceably. If 
he stayed up till very late, a feeling of dissatisfaction 
overcame him for having passed tiirou^ the whole even- 
ing without any real pleasure or diversion. 

«1 ,„z<,i:,C00glc 



CIS Bagar ReveUy 

One evening he dined in a Broadway restaurant with 
some friende that he had known when hia life had been 
gayer, and another time he played poker with some theat- 
rical managers until nearly breakfast time. But this did 
not attract him at all in the manner it formerly had, and 
when another party was suggested by them to take him 
out of his mood, he made some petty excuse, and instead 
stayed in his room. 

For a few days he tried looking up some of his old 
women friends, with just as little success. Now he no- 
ticed defects in their appearance, things about them that 
had become strangely repellant to him; on one a smudge 
of paint, a pencilled eyebrow, or a furrowed line about 
the eyes and mouth. 

One night Greenfield drank more than usual and after 
spending quite the whole evening in searing reflections, he 
suddenly determined to forget his ridiculous longing for 
Hagar, at any price. Near midnight, he entered a glit- 
tering, gold-bedecked restaurant on upper Broadway. 
For a moment the music and gaiety, the white rows of 
tables, the coverlet of smoke that hung flimsily in the up- 
per air, made him wish to leave immediately. But he 
took a table far back on one side, and when the waiter 
drew out the chair for him and said " AloneP " he hesi- 
tated awkwardly and made a resolution that he would not 
be alone very long. 

" Yes, I'm alone — " Then he recognized in the waiter 
one who had served him quite often, a year or so before. 

*' Yes, I'm alone all right," he. repeated as the man won- 
deringly placed before him a menu card. " How are 
you?** 

" Oh, I*m all right, Mr. Greenfield. I haven*t seen yoa 
for near onto a year." 

" No? " 

" But the lady comes in quite often.** 

DiailizodbvGoOgle 



Hagar ReveUy S18 

'* Bring me a lobster Newburg and a Scotch highball," 
Greenfield demanded restlessly. 

The fellow hurried out through a door panelled in gold, 
and Greenfield, shot through with temper at the joylesu 
reminder of his past adventures, busied himself in view- 
ing those near him. 

Sitting directly across from him, was a blonde little 
lady, who seemed to prop her head upon her arm, in just 
the manner which was so characteristic of Hagar. This 
annoyed him and for a time he would not look in her di- 
rection. When he looked again, he realized she was ac- 
tually someone he knew. At that moment she too looked 
up and immediately arose to give him a greeting. 

" Well, you've changed so, Bennie, I might nojt have 
known you," she exclaimed, as she took the seat he offered 
her. " Where have you been keeping yourself — and the 
Titian-haired one, what's become of her?" 

He aiLswered her rather laconically: "Haven't seen 
her for a couple of years." 

She continued to study his face. 

*' Well, you certainly have changed, Ben," she mused 
on. " We've missed you on the Way." 

She went on sprightly, probably for an effect upon 
those at the near-by tables, since getting up and ap- 
proaching a man's table had come to be looked upon as 
not quite a proper thing. 

" Yes, I was just telling Mabel — you remember Ma- 
bel, Mrs. Rokher, of course — well, I was telling her just 
the other day that you were one of the people who seemed 
to be wiped off the map, all of a sudden. I came near 
calling — " 

" WhatTl you have? " asked Greenfield, as the waiter 
shadowed their conversation. 

** Oh, I ought to get back — but bring me the same," 
she turned to the waiter — "a silver fiaz." 

,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



itl4 Hagar RevMy 

She stopped to fix her back hair, aided by her reflec- 
tion in a near-b; mirror. 

" What was I sayingP " she aslced, after a moment. 

Greenfield smiled, vith the smile that comes to the face 
of a man who is bored and yet blames himself for caus- 
ing it. 

" You -were telling me how you intended tdephouing, I 
think." 

" Ob, yes." 

Then she went on, relating in stereotype fashion how 
others had asked about him, and the ordeals she had 
passed through since she had last seen him. 

While she talked Greenfield looked at the forced viva- 
ciousness, covering the hunger in her eyes ; he studied the 
heightened color of her cheeks, the sallowness of htr 
throat. And as she continued, he unconsciously remem - 
bered how really pretty she had been in the years before, 
when youth was still nourishing her. 

" You're getting older, Ida," he said, tactlessly word- 
inff his thoughts. 

"Oh, I know what you're thinking," she replied. 
" But it isn*t that. I*m taking pretty good care of my- 
self." 

Then she told him how she had really fallen in love and 
that the pain of finding her man truthless had driven her 
back into the ways of least resistance. 

. " I was 80 on the square with him, you wouldn't be- 
lieve," she confessed. " I wanted to give this all up, once 
and for all. Oh, you don't know how really bad I wanted 
to — hut he wasn't square, he wasn't square." 

More in detail the woman ran over the old story, the 
story that every cocotte, every demi-mondaine, uses, as a 
last resort, to bolster up her derisive regard of normal 
life. 

DiailizodbvGoOgle 



Haf^ar ReveUy !H8 

When she had fiaiBhed, Greenfield asked vh; she hadn't 
stayed " right " anyway, just for the good of it. 

" Oh, what was the use ? " she faltered. " I'm in a 
rut and if I try to get out of it, I bump into some of my 
friends, and instead of trying to help me, they push me 
back again." A little wearily she added, "Oh, I guess 
it's no use any more.*' 

Although Greenfield bad answered her in monosyllables, 
she felt that she would somehow succeed in getting him 
into a conyersation. Her surprise was great when she 
saw him call for his check. 

" Where are you going, Ben? " she asked. 

" Oh, back to the rooms, I guess. I'm blue to-night." 

Her face lit up and her sadness Sitted sway on the in- 
stant. 

" Say, I'M tell you what 111 do. I'U get rid of the 
party " — she pointed to the fattish man who had been 
sitting at her side — " and then I'U take a little stroll 
with you. What do you sayp I am lonesome myself to- 
night." 

Into Greenfield's mind there chased a thought that she 
was being rather clever in fitting her mood to his own. 
But he reasoned that at least here was someone who knew 
him, who would listen to him and keep him from thinking 
about himself. And how he dreaded going back to that 
room, alone — and turning on the black button of the 
electric switch! 

Already he could see the book he had thrown on the 
floor, the cigar, half burnt, that had dropped on the rug. 

" Yes, get rid of him," he said. " I'll wait fire min- 
utes outside the revolving door." 

When she joined him and they walked off down the 
lighted street together, he was really glad of her pres- 
ence. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



!B16 Hagar ReoeUy 

Thej were taming off into the street of his apartment, 
when she said, *' I don't see why jou live alone, Ben." 

" It isn't right, is it P " he asked, feeling a certain 
comfort in her sympathy, 

" Why, of course not. But I guess youVe got the bug 
too — that's the reason and I know what that means." 

" You mean I'm in loveP " he asked, with a faint effort 
at smiling. 

The woman seemed very sincere as she answered, " Sure, 
what other reason is there. Oh, I've watched a bunch 
of you men, and you're all alike when you get it." 

They were turning up the steps. 

" Well," he confessed, as he thrust the key in the door, 
" You may be right, Ida. I'm blessed if I know mysdf .'* 

Going up the stairway, she hung heavily upon his arm. 

"Like old times, isn't itP " she exclaimed, and when 
they gained the ball, on the second floor, she stopped him 
to take his head between her hands. Before he quite 
understood her intention, she had kissed him, full on the 
lips. 

He drew away from her. 

" Wait here, till I make a light," said he. 

He spoke rather coldly, she thought, and wondered why 
he could not have taken her inside. 

However, she occupied her time in the dark hallway by 
dusting her face with a little powder rag taken from 
the top roll of her stocking. To herself as she applied 
it fiercely to her maltreated cheeks, she thought : " He's 
not a bad sort. You've just got to know how to handle 
him." At the moment she even wished she had worn her 
gown of blue rajah silk, which she liked so well. 

Greenfield came out into the hall. 

" You can come ini now," and as she entered, he pushed 
out to her a chair. She thought he had never before 
been so courteous to her, and told htm. 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



Bagar ReveUy S17 

" It's because I appreciate your sex more, now," he 
replied, offering her a cigarette. 

In careless fashion she took one from his heavilj in- 
itialed silver case. 

" Now, tell me all about her," she exclaimed airily. 

" There's no one to tell about — or rather there isn't, 
as yet." 

She tossed the matc^ out of the window. 

" Not landed, then, eh. But tell me, is she pretty and 
young — like I was when I started out?" 

" Let's talk about something else, Ida," said Green- 
field, firmly. 

" Very well — dear friend." She laughed and gave a 
long pause before " dear friend." She added that he 
certainly had the symptoms of being in love. 

To Greenfield, the woman's question was only an echo 
of what he was asking of himself. For already he was 
wondering wfay he had admitted to his apartment this 
woman. A half hour before he was longing for some one, 
really anyone, who would alleviate the poignant ghastli- 
ness of his mood. He had told himself that a greeting 
from the lowest mucker of the streets would have been a 
welcomed message. 

And now, when out of the gloom had come this com- 
panion of former years, of whom he had once been actu- 
ally fond, he could hardly talk to her. Instead he no- 
ticed that her face was very weak and not pretty, that her 
lower lip drooped, and her nostrils were strangely dilated 
and thinned. 

The woman's cigarette had burned out and she asked 
for another, saying, as she left her chair and went over 
to him: "My, but you're quiet, Ben." 

" Am I ? " he asked. 

" Sure, are you." There was some mockery in her 
voice, 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



818 Hagar Rm^y 

Noticing that she failed to interest him, she busied 
herself by ghmcing around the room, studying the open 
keyboard of an automatic piano in one comer, the blue 
canopy over his bed in another. 

" You're cosy here, aren't you P " she exclaimed rather 
casually. 

" Quite," he replied. 

" And you say your little prayers eadi night and go 
to bed like a good boy — what? " 

Strangely silent he remained. 

She stopped her restless loquacity altogether, for a 
time, quieting herself in the smoke of anoUier cigarette. 

Presently she could no longer stand the silence, or his 
inertia. 

" My Gtod, Ben, what's the matter with yonP " she im- 
plored. 

"Nothing," he smiled. 

She thought it a very sickly effort to appear light- 
hearted. 

" Then say something, for heaven's sake. Got any- 
thing to drink? " 

He went over to a little cabinet and threw open the 
inlaid mahogany door. " Help yourself," he told her, 
" and fix me a hi^-ball, too. A good stiff one while 
you're at it." 

After their drink they seemed to get along much bet- 
ter together, and for a half hour or more, were quite 
immersed and forgetful in talking over old times, delving 
into the past episodes they had encountered in conmion. 

Then the drink lost its effect upon Greenfield, and she 
saw creeping back into his eyes the old vague disinter- 
ested look. 

It hurt her a little bit, as she thou^t she had been 
really amusing him. She saw too that after an hour, 
nothing had been gained, and that all the little tricks of 

.■,;<,i:..,C00glc 



Hagar ReveUy 219 

ber trade had faUed. It disappointed her a good deal. 
She told herself that she must be less subtle. 

So she went over to where he sat on the rocker and 
leaned over the back of his head, putting both anns 
around his neck. 

"Dearie," she said jauntilj, unaware that the mirror 
reflected to Greenfield the weariness in her face, " you 
are no companion for poor me to-night. Maybe we'd 
better give up talking, and just be affectionate without 
the conversation." 

He gently loosened himself from her embrace. 

" Dear Ida. I didn't bring you up here for anything 
else but a little talk." 

She looked at him steadily. 

" Why, I don't understand, Ben." Her voice was sud- 
denly hard and cold. 

In that moment, before he answered her question, all 
the frantic age returned to her face, shining through 
to the surface for all the powder and paint. To her 
mind there came the recollection of a dismal failure the 
night before ; she remembered now how she had even hesi- 
tated to give up the fattish gentleman in the restaurant, 
only doing it after deciding that Greenfield would be bet- 
ter game. All evening she had sat with that cheerful 
smile on her face while her head ached and back pained 
— and now her efforts were proving futile! 

"You're not — going to have me stay?" she begged. 

He spoke up decisively. " No, no." There was de- 
termination in his tone. " Good God, no — ^ 

She layed her hand on his shoulder. 

" Now don't get excited like that. Vm sorry that Pm 
not more alluring to-night. (A regret crossed her mind 
again for the blue silk gown.) Yes, I'm real sorry. 
Though of course you know I've wasted two or three 
good hours, and — " 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



MO Hagar RmeUj/ 

Greenfield's voice was ver; gentle when he spoke to her. 

" That's all right, Ida," he interrupted. " Don't 
worry about that end of it. How much do I owe you? " 
He gave a little ironic lau^ " You know, I'd quite 
foi^tten that I was hunting for companionship on a 
business basis." 

" I don't see why you speak that way. You know I've 
got to look out for myself. But I know too how it is 
if you care for somebody. That's what's the matter with 
you. You're tired of the old game, Ben. After all," 
she sighed, and then went on in words that were full of 
longing, '* I guess you're right. Settle down in a decent 
little home some place, have the little kids calling you 
* daddy.' Oh, God, that's sweet music when you come 
right down to it." 

Then the woman left him to hide her feelings by look* 
ing out of the window. 

" Ida, come back here a minute," said Greenfield. 

She came back to their chair and placed her hand on 
his shoulder. He was watching some rings of smoke 
from his cigarette circle up to the ceiling. 

" Ida, do you see those rings P Well, I am just as able 
to do what you say as I am to keep those rings of smoke 
from breaking apart. Just as able," he went on, quite 
to himself. 

The woman met his words in silence. Then she looked 
up, as if a new determination had come to her. 

"We're old pals," she asked, "aren't we?" There 
was a certain sincerity in her question. 

"Why, yes." 

" And we understand just about how much is the goods 
and how much is bluff in this world, don't weP" 

" What's that got to do — P " 

" Oh, wait till I finish," she interrupted. " I want to 
tell you something. I've been up here for a couple of 

L ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



Hagar RweUy iA\ 

hours, now, trying to figure out some sort of way to get 
to you. UnderstandP Some way I could get you to 
come out of your grouch. First I thought I'd let you 
alone but I saw that that wouldn't work. Then I tried 
to be soft and sweet, and to get you interested in me — 
in the old way — and you've kept on dreaming, about 
something else. Am I right? 

" So I said to myself, * Ben brought me here just to 
try to fool himself into believing I am somebody else.' I 
explained aU this to a studious chap from Cambridge the 
other night and he said it was — what you would call — 
psychological Well, whatever it may be, I know just as 
sure as I am here that there is somebody you want, and 
somebody you can't get or haven't got yet. Oh, it's 
easy. And that one thing is the one thing you want. 
And you won't take anything else." 

Greenfield took out his pocketbook. " WHl this help 
you any, Ida?" he asked. 

He laid a greenback before her on the table. 

She had already put on her black kid gloves, that 
showed at the ends of the fingers worn grey places. 

" Well, of course you know how things are," she re- 
plied, hesitatingly fingering the money. 

" Oh, I understand how things are, Ida." 

Folding the bill she put it in her pocketbook, and 
then bent down toward him to kiss him. As he sat back 
in his chair, their eyes met on a common level. 

** You've kissed me, Ida," he said, gazing directly at 
her, before her lips had come near him. 

" Oh, all right." With a Uttle shrug of her shoulders, 
she arose, without performing her mission. 

For a moment she stood awkwardly in the doorway. 

" I guess 111 go then, Ben. You're not angry, are 
you?" 

" Angry? " .-. . 



XSS Hagar ReveUy 

" Yes." 

" Of course not." A strange, wistful expression cov- 
ered his face, " I've got more to thank you for than 
you know, Ida.** 

In the hallway she still appeared reluctant to leave, as 
if she felt the money too eaaily earned. 

"What's the matter," he asked, looking up as if he 
expected to find her gone. 

" Nothing, I'm going." 

" Good-bye, Ida." 

Already on the steps, she again turned to ask him when 
he was coming over to see her. 

**Tm not coming, Ida," be called back, smiling. 



aiiizodbvGoogre 



CHAPTER XVm 

Thb echo of her feet was still on the stairway, when 
Greenfield looked at bis watch. It was three-thirty in 
the morning. 

"Good heavens," he muttered to himself. He silently 
undressed, and tumbled into bed. At four o'clock he lay 
pathetically wide awake. 

Then he arose, put on a dressing gown, and with grim 
determination, went over to the writing desk. 

Many times before, he had thought of writing Hagar a 
letter, had thought quite often of the sort of letter it 
would be; he had eren worded the sentences and made 
them full of expression, so that it would bring her flying 
back to him. Seeing her in the store every day made this 
task a little difficult, but now he was determined. A let- 
ter would express exactly what he wanted to say, without 
his being influenced by her innocent glances. 

Mechanically he took the pen and wrote: 

" Dear Hagar: 

I wonder, little one, if yon have ever experienced the pangi 
of lonelincBB that I am going through at this moment Ob, if 
70U only knew bow I want yon. If I had yon here, I would 
make you forget your little foolish morals. Yes, I'd take yon 
in my arms and you'd put your arms around my neck, and then 
when we were close, you'd jnst forget and tell me how happy 
you were that I br night yon back. 

Think, Hagar, my love, how glorious it vonld be if we 
were togetlier. In the morning, I'd let you sleep. You'd be so 
tired and happy, and when yon awoke, there would be placed on 
the little table beside your bed some cantaloupe and eggs, and 



tM Bagar ReveUy 

nice steaming coffee and rolls and then jvn'A eat sod aboat noon 
jttn would come down to meet me and we'd have lonch together, 
and 70a would tell me about some pretfy piece of lingerie 70a 
were going to buy. 

Oh, my little Bweetbeait, the real heaven la not ap to Uie 
■kles, but concealed in the lips and ^es of the one we lore. 

Why can't you see it? Why can't we make it real? " 

He dropped his pen. What on earth was he writingi 
The very thing he dared not say to her, he was puttmg 
into ink. And she would read it with cold regard the 
next day, perhaps pass him by in the aisles with a look 
of superiority in her face. Yes, he could not humble 
himself before her, and give her \he " upper hand." 

He tore up the scribble, and after some minutes of in- 
decision, started anew: 

" Mg dear Hagar: 

It is after a good deal of thought" — (at least be was on 
the right track. After all he would write jost as he really felt) 
— "that I write this note to you. To-night I have realised 
for the first time, that I have let yon carry too long the wrong 
opinion of me. I'm not a bad man, Hagar, though I most 
surely have given you that impression, when I told yon that it 
was to be the one thing or nothing. 

I don't know why I pat it that way. Perhaps it was be- 
cause I longed for yoo so when I was with you, or perhaps, 
though not likely, it was because I thought that was the only 
way to get you. At least now I am going to give you the truth 
of it, and I can fancy your surprise when you read what I am 
going to say. I can see yon exclaiming, ' I wonder what's 
his game now.' Well, dear little friend, it isn't a game. It 
is simply this — I miss you, miss you terribly and I beg you to 
come back to me, just as a friend. And I promise you that it 
will be free of all the old thing entirely. Yes, Hagar, only 
to hear you talk and to have yon to tolk to. Nothing, abstv- 
lutely nothing else, I swear it. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar ReveUj/ !t25 

Yon will wonder what has come over me, wonder more I 
mppoae what makes me say a thing which to & man of my 
age, and who knows the world as I do, sounds like silly mb- 
Ush. Bnt nevertheless it is what I mean. To-night, I am filled 
with loathing of myself and can never again live the old life. 
Even as I write this it makes me happy to say it. I am so 
lonely, so sick of it all and am coming back to yon like a 
penitent schoolboy. Bnt I mean it this time. Aren't yoo 
glad? 

I know yoQ will be bappy to get this and see this change that 
yon have worked in me. I am snre, too, that we will have a 
lot of fmi together now, in our new way. 

Honestly, I never began to realize what it meant to be like 
this, without thinking of the other along with it. You can see 
what yon have brought me to, little girl. 

To-morrow night I'll atop for yon and we'll bave dinner. 
And then go over to Wallack's or the Broadway. Or would 
you rather go to the Hippodrome? 

And I'll send yon straight to your bungalow in fairyland 
immediately after. Yon've got to have your sleep. God bless 
yoo. 



When he hsid finished he re^rded the letter for some 
time, wondering at the truth that seemed conveyed in its 
words. After all it seemed that he really felt this way 
about Hagar. But it made him feel a little ashamed, 
and he offered to himself an explanation that it was really 
not true but only a clever effort to get Hagar back to 
him. However, as he turned the note over and over, be 
felt happier than he had been for months. 

The next afternoon he found the following letter, pok- 
ing its nose out from amidst a lot of letters whose black 
imprints, spoke only of dry goods and business. 

He tore open the little envelope with a good deal of 
anticipation. 

DiailizodbvCiOOgle 



SM Bagar RmtUy 

"Dem Mr. Greenfield: 

I have JDSt received 70111 note and have slipped up here 
to the waiting room to answer it I am so sorr; to have to 
disappoint joa because after all it is so nice that fon under- 
stand exactly what sort of a girl I am. However, I can't help 
it now, because I am keeping steady company with Mr. Her- 
rick (yon remember the man I introduced to yon in the aisle 
one afternoon) and we are very much in love with each other. 

His position won't allow us to get married just at present, 
bat I don't feel that I ought to see anyone else because he 
wouldn't wish me to. But I won't ask him. 

I know yoa'U be glad to hear I'm so happy and I am awfully 
■orry yon didn't write that kind of a note sooner, and so I 
guess that we can't see each other, though of course, we can 
always be friends. 

Sincerely yours, 

Habar RktxUiT. 

P.S. — Of course it won't make any difference with my 
job now, will it? Yon said I could ask any favor of yon. 
Anyway I know that yon are a good friend and don't want to 
■ee me nnhappy," * 

Between his finger and thumb Greenfield held it up and 
viewed it much as if it had been a living thing. 

" Poor, foolish little girl," he muttered. 

And as he remembered the swift darting messages of 
passion and longing that were such a part of her soft, 
dark eyes, he gave an unnatural, wild laugh. 

For manj minutes he sat numbly in the chair by his 
desk, quite oblivious of his surroundings — gazing ahead 
onto the long vista of future loneliness. 

He was brought to his senses bj finding that tears had 
gathered in his eyes. 



=d by Google 



CHAPTER XIX 

It was an odd stroke of fate that at the time of Green- 
field's greatest suffering from his loss, Hagar should be 
so deliriouslj happj. 

She was indeed deeply in love. 

The days that followed her subjection were to her still 
more glorious. She opened her arms to her wooer and 
he — pulled back the curtains that draped from his con- 
science, and was very happy. 

How the days and weeks passed with her. The little 
spring-time flutter of love found a welcome haven in her 
soul, and one day after the other, found her as eager, as 
desirous, as though the d^ouement had come only the 
day before. 

Sundays and holidays usually found them seeking the 
shelter of the Mallorys. The little inn on the sloping 
bank of the Hudson had for them become transformed 
into a modem Arcadia. At one time it was their little 
chalet upon the steep incline of some Swiss mountain 
slope, another day the hacienda that held out its welcom- 
ing arms as they returned from a hot tramp through the 
prairies. And then when night came, with their backs on 
the cool grass and their eyes to the heavens, Herrick 
would pour into her ears little madrigals, that seemed 
to penetrate into her very heart, with their rune of love. 

He could not say that for her benefit he had invested 
in a book of poems — " Choice Poems by Famous Poets " 
— or could he confess that none of the effusions were the 
result of the inspiration she gave him. None the less, 
however, did his soft words inspire her, and she often 
aar 

DiailizodbvGOOgle 



ass SagaT ReveUy 

lay enwrapped in a wondrous gaze, too happ; to dare look 
at him. 

Now and then were there days when she could not see 
him, for some reason of business or otherwise. These 
periods became hours of torture for her. 

One early morning, in bed, she thought of a great 
plan. 

And after that on the days she could not see him, her 
devotion was entrusted to a little china nudity about an 
inch in length. 

At first she did not know what to name the miniature 
doll, thinking over several in succession. She wanted 
most to name it Frank, but since the little figure was to 
be her confidant and a receptacle for all her secrets it 
would never do; since all her secrets would be about 
Frank himself. At last she named it Bennie, absolutely 
forgetful at the time why the name came familiar to her 

So, to Bennie was entrusted many great secrets; and 
Bennie never betrayed the confidence. It was a wonder- 
ful help to pour into the stone-deaf ears of the little 
figure, her surplus of love and happiness. And for some 
months Bennie remained faithfully by her. 

But tragedies come, guised sometimes in the thinnest 
garb. One day, near the beginning of winter, the tiny 
figure was tramped underfoot in a crowded street car. 
The piece of china had fallen from her pocketbook, and 
in another moment, was crunched under the heavy heel of 
a man's shoe. 

This was indeed an ill omen. For an intelligence was 
imparted to her, that in a moment, brought to her senses, 
the real importance of a secret that she had treated 
lightly for very many weeks. 

When the little doU had fallen onto the floor, Hagar 
sprang quickly from her seat. And then was brought 



Hagar ReveUy 229 

back to it by a terrific pain that shot from the middle 
of her back downwards into her limbs. 

She was not entirely innocent of the strange process 
of nature, that had gone on for quite four months. 
Many weeks before she had found herself growing sud- 
denly stouter about the waist, had even to invest in a new 
skirt and make larger her petticoat. 

But she had failed utterly to consider seriously, whether 
from lack of understanding or plain fear of self-revela- 
tion, the condition that confronted her. Often she had 
stopped to think about this new problem, and for a time 
would be strangely disturbed in many ways. Everything 
was so, vaguely defined, so perplexing. 

But the days bad slipped by, without her even daring 
to tell of it the man she loved. 

A few months before she had ransacked her brain for 
a cause, or rather an excuse for her continued condition. 
But that time too, had passed off and more from igno- 
rance than anything else, she had given the trouble little 
concern. 

Indeed one day, while at lunch, she came very near tell- 
ing Herrick, but it seemed so terrible to word such a 
thing, such a chance of spoiling the blissful tranquillity 
of their association, that she let it go altogether and 
rather dismissed the subject from her mind. 

Then another month passed, and though, as the days 
went by, she gained a deeper intelligence, a greater under- 
standing of this thing that troubled her, yet her under- 
standing of the phenomena did not grow apace with the 
physical proportions of it. 

And as she stepped from the car, and was pierced by 
the pain, her only thought was of her lack of intelligence 
concerning herself. She told herself that she might have 
been injured, jerking herself in the manner she did. 

She delved no further, but only muttered: "Oh, how 



S80 Hagar ReveU^ 

dreadfully ignorant I am. Juat think what I might have 
done." 

At that moment she wished ihe really knew what she 
might have done. 

Yet her thought was never to divulge the secret or 
even to mention it to Herrick, as the means of protection. 
Somehow everything seemed all right in that direction and 
she reasoned that there wag no need to worry. As soon 
as Herrick got a daily expected raise in his salary, they 
would be married. It would be time enough then, to tell 
him. 

But that pain at the destruction of Bennie, somehow 
altered this decision, and she decided she would tell him, 
more to have him as a companion to share her troubles, 
than anything else. A thought lurked in her mind that 
he probably knew already and had only refrained from 
telling her because of fear that she might worry. 

With the question definitely settled, she felt happier, 
and for a reason which she could not explain to herself, 
she decided to present herself to him that evening, in her 
most pleasing gown. Expecting him at eight o'clock, 
she left the dining table before the others had finished 
and rushed upstairs to dress. 

But dressing did not temunate as she had thought. 

Her black crepe de chene fitted her no longer, and 
she could hardly wear her already altered tailored suit. 

When Herrick came she was in no state to receive him. 
Her temper was high, she had cried, and the stains of 
tears were still apparent under the slight coating of 
powder that covered her face- 
When Hagar met him in the parlor downstairs, she was 
BO shaking with sobs, she could not look into his face. 

" Dear, dear, what on earth is wrong," he begged, aa 
he greeted her. 

DiailizodbvGoOgle 



Hagar ReveUy itSl 

She could not gather enough courage to answer him. 
But his strong arms about her and the feel of his bod; 
near to her, was comforting, and she made a little effort 
to emile. 

" Well," he asked patiently. 

She buried her face shamedly in his arms. 

" Goodness, you're queer to-nigjit," He turned her 
face so that he could look into her eyes. " Now tell me 
what's up," he demanded, though his voice was no less 
kind. 

For a moment Hagar looked directly at him, then 
clutching him around the neck she cried : " Oh, Frank, 
there's something — I can hardly tell you — I've known 
it for a long while. I've been so — so uncomfortable, 
dear — and I feared to tell you, because I thought you 
might get angry with me." 

Herrick, thinking it best to pay little attention to her 
hysteria, placed her gently beside him on the sofa. 

But Hagar's sobs were increasing in their paroxysmal 
gulping. She moaned steadily: "Oh, Frank, you act 
as if there was nothing the matter." 

Raising the hands that covered her face, he said, 
" Now, little girl, no more of this. Tell me, what's up? " 
He thought for an instant. '* By gracious, I did forget 
to kiss you." 

He suited the action to his words. She drew away 
from him. 

" Oh, it isn't that," said Hagar, between her tears. 
*' I am — I am sick. We must get married." 

Dropping her shiny, pink-tipped little fingers, as if 
they had been so many prongs of hot steel, he exclaimed: 
" What on earth are you saying, Hagar P " 

In that instant, Herrick seemed to scent the cause of 
her hysteria. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



CM Hagar ReveUy 

Hagsr*s eyes were covered by her arms but her in- 
stiact told her that he was drawing awaj from her, blaz- 
ing with temper. 

And now she felt his cruel grasp on her wrists. 

" For God's eake, tell me what you mean, Hagar," he 
cried. 

Slowly then, he began to comprehend entirely. His 
answer met in silence spoke more forcibly than any word 
of explanation she might have offered him. 

" You don't mean, Hagar, that — that — " 

Staring at him, fright and fear inextricably mingled 
in her face, she answered him. 

" Frank, you don't mean you are sorry — Oh, tell me 
you don't mean that." 

The tears were drying in her eyes, while she pulled his 
head down near to her own, and ran her fingers through 
his soft, blonde hair. " You don't mean," she whispered, 
" that you're not glad." 

Hagar began to understand the tumult of thought 
that was rushing through his senses, while Herrick, 
swayed by a feeling of pity, did not give vent at first 
to the angry vehemence of his pent-up words; but at 
last he could not control himself, and nearly shouted: 
** Do you mean to say — you are — in trouble? " 

He took her by both shoulders, as if he were trying 
to shake the truth out of her. Then he went on. " Good 
heavens, is this your little game. Want to trap me — so 
I'll have to marry you?" 

Hagar could only sob out his name in an imploring, 
begging way, while Herrick, seeming to realize he had 
lost his temper, now said more gently to the girl, '* Why 
on earth — Hagar — didn't you — take better care?" 

The wickedness of his words echoed into the remotest 
recesses of her virginal being. She looked up into lua 
face, muttering between sobs, the while she ran her hand 

I ,i,z<,d.vCoogIe 



Hagar RtveUy 2S3 

over his forehead, " Why, Fraok — dearie — I don't un- 
derstand you." 

Even at that moment, as she saw the haggardness in 
his eyes, she felt sorry she had told him and made him 
unhappy. Even she wished she had allowed everything 
to rest as before. 

For a few minutes they sat in the little parlor, both 
of them staring down at the floor, each searching for 
an expression to their thoughts. 

At last bis eyes wandered to her, as quietly he said) 
" How long have you — been — Hagar? " 

At first she tried to answer indirectly, then it aj^ared 
so difficult to speak about this hidden thing, that she 
could only sink back into the pillows and bury her face in 
her hand. Her body quivered and fluttered like a leaf, 
and he noticed that the hand that clung so frantically 
to his own was icy cold. 

But now the question had become too important to 
be considered sentimentally. 

He repeated. " Answer me, Hagar. You've got to 
tell me." 

Conquering, only after a struggle, the terrible tide 
of miserable realization that had swept over her, she 
said: "Oh, it's been four — or five months, Frank — I 
don't know." 

" And you never tried ■ — " He choked his words off. 
" You never told me." 

Then he went on relentlessly. " What were you afraid 
of? Afraid that I might do something, I suppose " — 
he was talking wildly now — " so you waited until it was 
too late! A nice game! 

" Thought you'd cinch our marriage? I see now what 
you meant about wanting a baby. . . . Oh, you're 
pretty cute, Hagar." 

Only a few months before, their conversation had 



884 Hagar Smelly 

turned onto the subject of maternity. As thej spoke about 
it at that time, Hagar had mentioned how she would 
like to be the mother of his children. Now, all the words 
came back to Herrick's memorj and be used them most 
■vindictively. 

" Yes, I suppose jou wanted to be a mother," he re- 
peated, looking hard at her. 

Hagar interrupted him now, for the first time wording 
her inner feelings. 

" Oh, Frank, for God's sake," she cried, " please — 
please — don't talk in this way to me. I kept it from 
you — because I didn't want to bother you, and because 
at first I didn't know what was wrong myself. I didn't 
dare ask anyone else, you know that. Oh, you are so 
mean to me now. And you say that you're not glad. 
Why, Frank, I thought you'd be so happy, because you 
loved me and we were going to get married. I thought 
it would mean so much more to us and would bring us 
closer together." 

Seeing his face yield somewhat, she went on, even more 
desperately, with her pleading. "Why, darling, it will 
only mean that we must get married a few months earlier, 
that's all. If you are not ready on account of the fac- 
tory, why, what difference can that make. I am making 
something and I'll get a new job if you say so, and work 
harder and make more money. We can live the way we 
are right now — untfl you're able to come with me." 

She threw herself into his arms. " Darling, darling," 
she whispered, " you don't know how I love you." 

But Herrick tore himself loose, impatiently telling her 
that she talked like a fool, that she understood absolutely 
nothing about what she was saying, 

" Why, if I listened to you, I'll begin thinking it's the 
rif^t thing, too," he exclaimed. '* No, no, a thousand 

ooiizodbyGoogle 



Hagar ReveUy 9A6 

times — we're in a fix, and we've got to get out of it. 
That is all there is to it." 

She drew back aghast. He had toni himself away 
from her, for the first time. 

"Then you don't mean that we are to get married?" 
she gasped. 

" Yes, that's what I mean." His reply came sullenly. 
His face went into hard lines that were utterly new to 
her. " That is, not for the present. We can see later. 
But certainly not while this thing hangs over our beads." 

With bis foot he drew a chair up to the edge of the 
divan, and then left her side to occupy it. 

"We've got to talk this thing over in a businesslike, 
sensible way, Hagar," he went on. " Now, tell me, do 
you know anyone you could go to ? " 

Hagar sprang up, staring at him with protruding eyes. 

"Go to?" 

" Yes, someone you've beard of who does — " 

" Why Frank, good heavens, you don't want me — " 
There was a quiver in her voice that had all the fluttering 
hesitancy of innocence, yet the determination to fight to 
the very last. Her eyes flashed, her lips were pressed 
tightly together, 

" I^actly," be said. ** Do you know any place to 
goP" 

With his persistency, she seemed to lose all her strength 
to battle. " I do not know of such places, Frank. Oh, 
God—" 

Between the cries that came from her breaking heart, 
she explained to him now bow ignorant she was of such 
things, how she had never considered anything but her 
love for him and his love for her. With deep sobs she 
told how she had always left the other girls when they 
gathered in groups, in the wash room or the cloak room 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



SS9 Hagar RtvOlp 

at the store, to discuM sudt things, and how she bad al- 
ways bated to hear their jokes. 

Herrick listened to her, nearly frenzied by the con- 
tagion that spread to him from her wounded feelings. 
As she finished off her explanation, he turned away, bis 
hands over his face, his brain in a turmoil, at the re- 
alization of her helplessness. 

It would have made him braver, he realized, were she 
not so innocent. 

" I cant believe it, I can't, I can't," be said over and 
over. 

After a good deal of thought, during which time he 
paced the room back and forth, he came over and sat 
by her side. Very gently he began to talk to her. 

" Now listen, Hagar. Of course it is of no use for ub 
to fall out like this, and for us to get all excited is very 
foolish. But we can't let this go on. It would be all 
right, perhaps, if we were living where no one knew us. 
But here it is different. Supposing we should get mar- 
ried to-morrow. What would everybody sayp Oh, yes, 
they wouldn't know anything — for a few months maybe. 
But after that it would be open news to all the world, 
that we had lived together before we were married. No- 
body would look at us. We couldn't stay very long in 
one place, we'd be disgraced — that is, you'd be. And 
how would you like that? " 

He looked into her face. And Hagar, seeing some 
of the old kindness in his eyes again, answered, " I wouldn't 
mind it, Frank, so long as I had you." 

She was much surprised to find that he became some- 
what angry again. Arising from bis chair at her words', 
be walked up and down the room a half dozen times before 
he could calm himself. 

" Hagar, why don't you understand," he implored. 
** Either yon are so blind to the ordinary ways of the 

.OOglf 



Hagar ReveUy «87 

world that you don't grasp it at all, or else, you are — 
well, you are more in love with me than I am with you." 

" Frank ! " she cried. 

" I mean — more than I am capable of loving you, or 
anyone. Anyway you don't seem to see what people 
think of us. Why, just think what would happen. Well 
just take the case as it stands. Say we got married. 
Good and welL Then a couple of months or so comes 
around. What then? Well, we're living in some little 
flat up in Harlem. Some of the fellows hunt me up, see 
the kid, know what's gone on. They'd know how long 
we'd been married. And what would they do? Can't 
you see?" 

" Oh, Frank." 

"Well, they'd accuse me of marrying you just — jmt 
because I had to " — he went on impetuously with tins 
new idea — " not because I loved you. Can't you see? 
You wouldn't care for that, now would you? " 

** Not very much," she faltered, 

** And then maybe the boss would find it out, I would 
get in bad, though the worst thing they'd probably say 
was that I was square, and stood by you. But how would 
I like to hear them say that if I loved you. No, you'd 
get the worst of it all around. Your mother and sister 
would find it out too. Oh, it would be hell." 

" I'd care very little — " Hagar started to answer. 

At that moment the door opened and Miss Gillespie 
came in, stepping her way in precise manner up to the 
side of Herrick. Her thin, frail body was wrapped in 
a faded dressing gown, her pale freckled face, rigidly 
set and determined. For a time she looked slowly from 
one to the other without saying a word. 

Then Hagar blurted out : " Frank, you remember Miss 
Gillespie, Mr. Herrick." 

" Ob, be remembers me, little ^rl," said the wtwoan. 

■ ooylc 



288 Ha0aT RrvOly 

" I've been listening. I was just passing on my way to 
the bathroom, when something he said stopped me. I 
know all that's gone on in this room for the last half 
hour. And from what I know," she looked hitterlj into 
Herrick's ejes, " I don't guess I missed much." 

She took hold of Herrick's arm saying : " You go 
now. I want to talk with Hagar.** 

Herrick noticed how her lips were set and in a first 
impulse started to follow her command. Then he stopped 
suddenly and said to Hagar, " Dear, has this woman any 
lig^t to come into our private affairs? " 

In blind submission Hagar spoke to Miss Gillespie, 
after only a moment's hesitation : " Miss Gillespie, 
couldn't you come in later onP" while Herrick noticing 
the influence he still possessed over the girl, turned back, 
encouraged by Hagar's allegiance. 

But Miss Gillespie was obdurate. *' I've got my hands 
in this aJFair, Mr. Herrick," she said quietly, ** and the 
best thing all around is for you to go home without any 
fuss. Now, I'm talking business." 

The boy stood by the side of Hagar, folding back 
and forth, his grey felt hat. Then he seemed to suddenly 
decide that here was a good chance to get rid of much 
responsibility. He took a step towards the door. 

" Shall I go, Hagar? " he asked. 

The girt looked at him with great tears welting her 
eyes. A sob, swelling in her throat, stifled whatever word 
she had wished to give him. 

" Welt, 111 go." Then he took her hand and held it 
for a moment. " Now don't worry, little girl," he said, 
as he went through the doorway. 

Leaving the room, he closed the door behind him with 
rude strength, as if to show Miss Gillespie that he still 
had some rebellion left in him. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar RevOly M9 

** God) what a cad ! " said the woman, while the furni- 
ture in the room shook. 

Hogar turned away from her, and leaned over the 
mantd, with her head buried in her arms. 

Misa Gillespie walked over and raised the girl's bead. 

" Brace up, dear," said she, kindly. " We've got a 
situation to face that demands something more than 
tears." Half to herself she added: " And to think how 
I was fooled." 

" It's dear of you to come in," murmured Hagar. 

" Well, I couldn't stand out there hearing him bully 
you." 

" But it isn't his fault," Hagar pleaded. " You 
mustn't blame him. He was right. I should have told 
him, I guess." 

Miss Gillespie stood gazing. " Oh, you poor chOd, 
you don't blame him for anything, do youP" 

" I blame myself more." 

"And don't you blame him?" 

Hagar dried her eyes with her tiny blue handkerchief. 
" Is he any more to blame than I amP " she asked softly. 

" You're a fine champion for our sex," Miss Gillespie 
answered, letting a smile break through her face. Even 
Hagar had to laugh a little. But in a moment Miss Gil- 
lespie became more serious. " Yes, you think he has a 
rig^t to throw all the blame on you. Well, this may be 
a funny world, Hagar, but you're the strangest thing 
I ever met. You intend letting him out of it alto- 
gether? " 

" Oh, Miss Gillespie, I don't know what to do. I'm 
not able to think now. Everything's so terrible." 

Miss Gillespie put her arms around her and drew the 
tearful face close to her lips. 

" Dear Hagar, tell me something," she asked. " Do 

DolizodbvCoOglc 



S40 Bagar SeveUy 

jou love this man, after he has told you that he wouldnH 
marry you?" 

" He hasn't said that," she dared. 

" He said quite as much." 

" But not that. And I do love him. Oh, you can't 
know how happy we've been." 

** You poor dear," whispered the woman. 

" And I know how he feels with me now," Hagar con- 
tinued. " Why, he isn't really the one to blame after all. 
I guess I should have known better. And then I don't 
see what this has got to do with marriage anyway. Mar- 
riage isn't just raising children. It's being altogether, 
and having each other all the time." 

Over an hour later, after the woman had put Hagmr 
to bed and covered her eyes with cold towels a good many 
times, did they again get back upon the subject. 

Hagar was much quieted now while Miss Gillespie 
marvelled at the strange composition of this child who 
seemed to take her distress so easily. 

** There is many a woman, Hagar," said Miss Gillespie, 
while she was busy over the girl, " who doesn't want to 
have children at first, but who would give half her life 
to have a child when it is too late. You see, we women 
get older more quickly than men, and we've got to have 
that little chain of flesh around their necks, or they'll 
forget what we've given them." 

" But haven't we got as much fun from them as they 
have from usP" asked Hagar, earnestly. 

*' Child, child, do you think that marriage means only 
having fun?" She studied the face of the girl, then 
went on in a deliberate way : " Yea, I guess you do, 
that's what a good many children like you get married 
for. And how long do you think the fun lasts? Mar- 
ried people after a while realize that marriage means 
something more than fun. And pretty soon they begin 



Bagar Rev^y Ml 

ia bant around for that something and can't find 
it." 

Hagar thought that Miss Gillespie was settling into 
a discuBsion of the present trouble. And at her first 
words Hagar cried : " Oh, please, Miss Gillespie, don't 
let's talk of that jet. Honestly, Tin afraid I'll go to 
pieces if you do." Suddenly she thought of a new argu- 
ment and hurried into it to keep the woman's words from 
forming. 

** Tell me, Miss Gillespie," she asked ; " why has a 
woman the right to make a man share something he 
doesn't want to share? " 

" Vou mustn't think like that." 

"But supposing," Hagar thought on, "that a man 
fought against — loving you as hard as he could? 
What then? " 

" Is that Herrick's case? " asked Miss Gillespie. 

Hagar answered, '* Yes," remembering his stem set 
eyes and drawn mouth as he would leave her at night, 
" I know Frank loved me all along," she added. " And 
now I'm not going to make him so unhappy, even before 
we're married." 

"Then you think he intends marrying you, do you?" 

" Why of course. We've never spoken of anything 
different. This hasn't got anything to do with mai^ 
riage." 

Miss Gillespie walked restlessly about the room for a 
long time. Then she went over and turned off the gas. 
The full moon lit up the room with a warm yellowish 
glow. 

** I am going ' to say something to you, child," she 
began ; " I think youll hear It better in the dark. We're 
not getting down to the facts. In the first place you 
see I haven't said a word of blame about this. And 
then, when I do ask you one question, jou answer it hy 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc ■■ 



il4X Hagar ReveUy 

ftsking me another. This ia serious, so serious that jron 
have no conception of its meaning. You are reasoning 
with a baby's mind and are confronted with the problem 
of a woman. . . . We've got to get down to the 
main facts. Tell me, has anyone explained to you what 
this means, the entrusting to you of a living thing that 
Bome day will be bom to grow up into a being that lives 
and breathes just like you do? Has anyone ever told 
you that?" 

'* Why, no,** hesitated Hagar, not knowing exactly the 
idea which Miss Gillespie was trying to bring out. 

" Well, all ri^t, no one has told you. So much the 
worse. It's a thing that they ought to teach in every 
school of the land. It's no disgrace to talk about it. 
It's life, it means happiness to you and me, and it means 
wrecked lives and rotten living. It's certainly more im- 
portant than anything else they could teach. Well, this 
ia how it stands." She took a deep breath. " We, in 
cmrselvea, only amount to as much as we can ^ve^and 
we women have been given a mission. It is through a 
woman only that the world can be kept going, can be kept 
filled by human beings. Oh, it's a big thing, Hagar. 
The most glorious, God-given right in all the world, is 
to be able to give birth to a child. And it's a sacred 
thing, too, Hagar. 

" Well, people don't think of this," she continued* 
" All the glory is taken away by the laws. But it is the 
only way they can do it. So they have a law that if you 
kill this thing, which isn't even bom yet, it's murder — 
and they punish you for murder." 

" Murder ! " repeated the startled Hagar after her. 

" Yes, child, murder. It's the only way they can keep 
people from doing things like this boy Herrick is think- 
ing of doing. Yes, it is unfortunate that the minute yoa 
m^ a law. people don't settle down to think how tiiey 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



'Hagar ReveUy S48 

are going to live up to it, but how they are going to 
get around it. And there you are. This glorious hal- 
lowed privilege is made so that the police become the 
guardian angels, instead of the Almighty Father. And 
there's no two ways about it, which may be a good thing 
after all. You've got to live up to the law. If you don't 
you commit a crime against God and against tiie State, 
too. Now, you don't want to he a criminal, do you, Ha- 
gar?" 

** Glood heavens, how you scare me, Miss Gillespie, talk- 
ing so hard like that," Hagar cried, grasping the woman's 
band. 

** I*m telling you the plain truth." 

" Then, we are committing a crime if the child isnt 
bomP" 

" Sure.** 

" But supposing — that — that the police don't find it 
oat? Is there a way to stop it the way Frank says?" 

** Yes, perhaps, but if you are caught, everybody con- 
cerned goes to jail." 

" Oh, how terrible, how terrible ! " 

"Yes, Hagar, it is terrible." 

Hagar, trying bard to present the case so that in her 
own eyes, there would be better opportunity to protect 
Herrick, said : " But supposing, Miss Gillespie, I dont 
do — this crime, what then? If I have the child, Frank 
says he won't marry me." 

"Hagar — you are a fool," said Miss GiUespie sternly. 

Then she relented, as she saw the beautiful young face 
redden, and the dark limpid eyes fill with tears. She 
hugged the chUd to her breast. 

'* Don*t cry, kiddie, I'm only trying to pay o£F a 3ebt 
— for my past sins, I guess," the woman said brokenly. 
" You just go to sleep. ITI see you to-morrow evening 
ri^t after work. But you must remember, dearie, that 



t44> Hagar ReveUy 

you do owe more to God than yon do to Herrick or your- 
self. You will suffer more if jou don't think of this.** 

It was a woeful ni^t for poor Hagar. Maudlin 
dreams beset ber, or else wide-awake misery, and she 
prayed hysterically all through the ni^t for dawn to 
come. When the faint grey of morning began touching 
the green shade of the window, she felt as if a year's 
vigil had passed. 

Miss Gillespie went to work quite early in the morn- 
ing. And Hagar felt that another scene had been averted, 
for Herrick came only a few minutes after the little 
woman had left. 

When she met him in the parlor, he took her in his 
arms, in a long tumultuous embrace. 

" Poor dearie," he cried, guiltily, as she came into the 
parlor, " I was mean to you last night. But we'll fix 
it all up to-day, and then we'll be happy again." 

" I want to be happy so badly, Frank," she said, as they 
stood regarding each other. 

" Well, don't you worry, well have a lot of happy 
days yet. Now, I've been thinking all night, Hagar,** 
he went on ; " I suppose you have too — ** 

" Yes, I have. I couldn't sleep a bit all night.** 

" What did you think of? " 

" Oh, I don't know, I pretty nearly went craasy." 

"Well, it will be all over, soon. Well just get busy 
right away." 

She perceived in his face at that moment, a peculiar 
expression that frightened her. 

'• You mean that we — that we — should do some- 
thing P" she begged. 

" Yes, but don't be scared." Nearly whispering into 
her ear, he added : " I've got the name of three good 
ones to go to already." 

All the anguish Uiat had risen through Miss OQles- 
DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar ReveUy ttiS 

pie's words, and bad tortured her throu^ the long night, 
now came back, surging heedlessly through her being. 

" Oh, Frank, what will they do to me? Will they Hurt 
me? ** 

" Don% kiddie," he said rather lightly ; ** welt see 
about that when the time comes. First, I'm going to 
take you to see a Dr. Neugarde, and see what he says. 
Maybe hell do it for ub. Then it will be easy sailing. 
In a few days, we can go up to the Mallorys and have a 
celebration." 

" But, Frank — " Hagar's eyes were choked with tears j 
she was making a vciliant effort to control herself. 

Herrick was kinder than ever. " Don't, old ^rl," he 
said softly. *' You leave it all to me. Ill take care of 
you." After a moment's hesitation, be asked earnestly: 
" Do you love me ? " 

" Oh, Frank, of course." 

"Well — that's all that's necessary. Ill do the 
rest." 

Hia tone conveyed so much finality and decisive force, 
there seemed no reprieve in his words. 

She did as he bade her. After a few more words, in 
which time Herrick was more ardent than ever before, 
she left him and went upstairs, and with trembling cold 
fingers put on her coat and hat. 

" You promise to take care of me, Frank? " she begged 
falteringly, as she rejoined him. 

*' Of course, I promise." 

Herrick hurried her out of the bouse, and they were 
well on the way to the office of Dr. Neugarde before he 
gave her an opportunity to express any more hesitation 
at the undertaking. 

They had already alighted from the street car, and 
were turning a comer into the little street where the doo 
tor lived, when Hagar clutched his arm. 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



246 Hagar SeveUy 

"You're sure we're doing right, Frank?" she asked 
tremblingly, 

" Why, of course, Neugarde is one of the best in town 
— if he will do it." 

Hagar walked along silently by his side- 
After some thought, she asked: 

"Why shouldn't he do it, Frank?" 

**0h — he may be too busy — or want too much." 

" How much will it cost? " 

** Well, that is according to whom you go to. I guess 
if you've got a lot of money, and they know it, they'd 
soak you pretty good, but I won't pay more than twenty- 
five dollars." 

" Does it cost so much as that P " 

" If you go to the good ones, it does, and we wont 
run any chances. I'm too fond of you for that." He 
gave her hand an affectionate squeeze. 

It was after nine o'clock before they gained admit- 
tance to Dr. Neugarde's inner office. The doctor was a 
man of perhaps fifty years, with heavy elliptical spec- 
tacles over his eyes and an odd semi-circtilar scar across 
his mouth and chin. 

" Good morning, Dr. Neugarde," said Herrick, as he 
pushed Hagar into the room ahead of him. 

The doctor answered quietly, " Grood morning." 

Being calmly scrutinized by the physician disturbed 
Herrick for a time, and he was very apparently at a loss 
for words to explain his mission. 

At last he gained courage and said: "You are a 
specialist for women, aren't you?" 

" I'm a gynecolo^st, yes. Take a seat," replied the 
physician. 

Herrick started talking immediately, while Hagar sat 
at the doctor's side. It confused Herrick even more when 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Eagar ReveUg 24T 

he saw the doctor's ejei roam restieaslj to the face of 
the girL 

" Well," Herrick commenced, " I've — I've brought — 
mj wife to see jou, doctor. We are not desirous of bav- 
ing any chOdren, and so we thought we would see joa 
about it." 

"How long have you been marriedP" the physician 
asted, noticing at that moment that Hagar's face be- 
came drawn and pallid. 

" About a year." 

"Who sent you to me?" 

The physician's questions confused Herrick. He had 
not expected to be subjected to such an interview. 

" Why, nobody, I just heard of you." 

" You heard that I do this kind of workP " 

Herrick was a little angered. " Oh, no, only just that 
you are a specialist for women." 

" And nobody sent you ? " 

•* No, sir, nobody.'' 

" Then how did you hear of me? " 

"Why, I don't know. I just inquired around. I 
think maybe it was in some drug store." 

Dr. Neugarde rose slowly from bis chair and took 
hold of Hagar's hand. 

Very gently he asked, " What is your name? " 

Herrick reddened, but did not notice the full meaning 
of the physician's subtle question. This was indeed a 
point that had been overlooked. 

However, Hagar startled Herrick, even herself, by an- 
swering spontaneously, " Mrs. — Mrs. Kennedy, doctor." 

The doctor turned to question her directly There 
was a playful smile hovering about bis mouth. 

" Well, Mrs. Kennedy, how long have you been in your 
condition?" he asked gently. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



248 Hagar RevOly 

Hagar tried to ansrer, but something clutched at her 
throat. She could only turn away and bide her face in 
her bands. 

Herrick came over to her and said in words that were 
tinged with some anger, " Now don't gtrc way to your- 
self this way, Hagar." Then to the doctor, he said: 
*' We don't know exactly. It has been several months." 

" And yoo didn't think of such a thing as this 
beforep" 

Hagar started to reply, but Herrick was the first to 
speak, blurting out : " Sure, doctor, I told her about it 
all the time — but we just neglected it, that's all." 

The physician walked over to Herrick's side. 

" Well, young man," he began, " take the dear little 
wife back to your home and thank God you're so lucky ! " 

"Why, what do you mean?" 

** I mean — that you are a lucky boy to have such a 
beautiful girl for a wife.** He looked kindly at Hagar. 

Herrick shoved his perplexity. " Then you won't do 
anything, doctor?" 

The physician turned on him angrily. " Why, abso- 
lutely not." 

" But it's all right. We're married." 

" I don't question you." 

" Then I can't see why you refuse. I'll pay twenty- 
five dollars cash." 

A sudden thought seemed to come to Herrick's mind, 
now. " Doctor, it isn't because it is too late, is it? " 

The doctor's face relaxed sojoewhat from its former 
sternness. 

" Well. It is probably pretty late to do the kind of 
despicable business about which you have approached me. 
However, so far as that goes, for me, my young friend, 
it is always too late. I don't dabble in this kind of busi- 
ness." 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar ReoeUy C49 

" You mean if there was danger of her loaing her life, ' 
you wouldn't do itP " 

The doctor asked Hagar to stand up, and for a mo- 
ment he studied her well-rounded hips and full bust. 

After onlj a moment's scrutiny, he said : " I think I 
can easily say, without further examination, that shell 
have no trouble." 

" Then there is no more to do? " questioned Herrick. 

Dr. Neugarde smiled. " Yes, young man — get out of 
my office." He waited over and opened the door for them, 
then went back to his desk and engaged himself in some 
work. 

"Here was a moment spent in contemplation, and Her- 
rick sulked out of the room, dragging Hagar with him. 

They were dismissed. And Herrick's temper was not 
cooled by the interview. 

" I wonder if the old fool knew," he said to Hagar, as 
they gained the street. Then, " Oh, I guess he did, but 
never mind." 

Hagar ventured the information that perhaps they had 
not oiFered enough, while Herrick took a slip o{ paper 
from out his pockethook. He showed her the first of 
three names be had written upon it. 

Mrs. H. D. Delabar, 

Midwife. 

— Second Ave. 

Hagar, with increased alarm, saw him study the ad- 
dress. 

A fresh surging of fear swept over her. She pulled 
at his arm, crying, as she held back: "Oh, Frank, for 
God's sake, I can't go, I can't, I can't. Didn't you see 
the doctor? He knew, and I cant, I won't, becaose it ia 
a terrible crime." 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



200 Hagar ReoeUy 

Herrick looked at her with a glance that presaged the 
losing of his temper. 

" Miss Gillespie has been talking to jou, I suppose," he 
answered. 

" She told me a good deal," affirmed Hagar. 

" Then jou care more for Miss Gillespie than jou do 
for me, do you?" 

His argument bore home. Reluctantly, feebly, but 
without a protest, she dragged along by his side, like a 
little old woman, until they reached the number on Second 
Avenue. 

'^You wait here until I take a look at the place," he 
said, disappointedly, as they found the business abode of 
Mrs. Delabar to he a decrepit two-story brick building, 
ready at any moment to tumble to the ground. 

" I won't make out why I came at first," he said. *' I 
will just ask her a few questions. I can tell by that if 
it is all right.** 

Leaving her standing on the sidewalk, fearsome and 
wondering, he went up the dingy stairway. About Hagar 
were a half dozen dirty-faced children, playing like little 
kittens in the gutter. 

In a moment he came back. 

" I believe it is all rig^t. I'm not struck with the looks 
of the place, but the woman talked as if she knew her 
business." 

Automatically Hagar followed his bidding. Slowly 
they ascended to the second story of the delapidated build- 
ing, first having to go back through adong hallway, that 
had on one side a combination butcher-shop and grocery 
store, and on the other side a Chinese laundry. 

When they reached the top of the stairway, a tall, gaunt 
negress ushered them into a little reception room. Mrs. 
Delabar didn't come in for a few minutes and Herrick 
went over to the window while Hagar sat down immediatdj 



Hagar RrveUy 261 

ander a nervous, chirping canary, that flitted back and 
forth in its little prison cage. 

Soon Mrs. Delabar came io. 

She too, was very thin and surveyed the pair suspi- 
ciously. 

" Mrs. Delabar, we've come to see you in regard 
to my wife," began Herrick — rather decisively this 
time. 

The woman only looked at him silently. Herrick went 
on : " And we thought we'd come and see you about the 
case. I was told that you are competent." 

The woman's eyes seemed to brighten, but there was a 
dulness, a sadness in them that spoke of a fire long ex- 
tinguished. Just as she was to answer Herrick, a little 
crippled youngster with a bright, happy face and curly 
hair, ran into the room. 

" S-sh, go back to the kitchen," whispered the woman, 
as she patted the child on the head. Then she turned to 
Hagar and Herrick, and said, "Hip-joint disease, poor 
child." When the door was shut after the boy, she re- 
joined them, saying, " I'm sorry to interrupt you. Please 
go on." 

" Oh, that's alt right," Herrick replied, still retaining 
his positive manner. " We only wanted to »ee you about 
it now, find out what you'd charge, and so forth," 

" That's according to the length of the confinement, 
and bow much you want me to do afterwards," replied 
Mrs. Delabar' — hesitating to start first on the money 
part of the agreement. 

Herrick spoke up, " Oh, we'd want you to go ri^t 
ahead with it until everything was all right." 

" Well," said the woman, " I'm not so busy now, and 
would like to have the case very much. My time isn't 
very full for the next three or four months, so whenever 
you expect to be ready, you could let me know." 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



aSt HagaT ReveUg 

"Why, — we're ready now, right away," the boy ex- 
claimed earnestly. 

The woman surveyed Hagar closely, apparently puzzled 
at Herrick's words. 

" Dear child," she then said to Hagar, " you mustn't 
lace 80 tightly. You hardly show a sign." 

" Oh, I'm only — it's still a few months before — " 
Hagar confessed with a desire to show that she was not so 
ignorant as the woman probably thought. 

Though neither Hagar nor the boy beside her under- 
stood the strange manner that came over the woman at this 
moment, they did not have to wait long for elucidation. 

She turned to Herrick with set jaws. 

" I thought you said you expected the time right 
away? " 

" I meant we were ready," he answered. 

"So — you wanted me to do a criminal abortion? Is 
that it? " 

Herrick winced as she spoke the name, and at her lack 
of delicacy in expressing it. 

" We want to have the matter attended to right away," 
he said firmly. " We were afraid my wife wasn't strong 
enough to have a child." 

" Well — youll have to go elsewhere." Mrs. Delabar*s 
eyes were bright with anger. Arising, she went over and 
opened the door, and at the same time, said, with a little 
bitterness in her voice, " Thank God, my hands are clean, 
even if my pocket book is empty." 

Hagar had walked quickly out into the little landing of 
the stairway. 

But Herrick hesitated, as if he wished to debate the 
question with her. 

" You've struck the wrong place, young man," the 
woman went on, as he hesitated to leave. " Youll find a 
lot who will do it There are a lot of people who moke 



Hagar ReveUy J^S 

their living doing this thing. It*0 making New York into 
a hell-hole. And they've got police protection too. But 
whoever sent you here, sent you to the wrong place. 
Good day, sir." 

And again, they were dismissed. 

Going down the steps, Herrick thought to himself: "I 
should have asked her the names of those other places." 

But he fished back into his pocket book for the little slip 
of yellow paper. 

" We're having some time, aren't we? " he said to Ha- 
gar, with a laugh. 

" I'll only go to one more place," she murmured. Her 
tone rang cold, full of bitterness and despair. ** I'm sick 
of this disgusting business." 

Herriclc counselled her to be calm, saying that theirs 
was only a duty that lay on ahead of many hundreds of 
men and women each day. Reluctantly she gave in to 
him. 

They approached the second midwife, a stout colored 
lady, on Third Avenue. 

The interview was short, very short, 

** I'm willing to do the business, but not on a case so 
far advanced," she told them. " I've got to look out for 
number one. I'm sorry, sir, but it's too late, and you 
won't find anybody else ■ — that's got any sense." 

In a frenzy of disappointment, Herrick dragged the 
girl across the alley-like street, through the throngs of 
drunken men and ragged ansmic women, to the thinL 
place, the last on his list. 

And they received the same answer. 

The woman, nearly a counterpart of Mrs. Ddabar, 
" would be glad to do it, but it was too late." 

" Then what are we to do? " begged Hagar, as they 
stumbled along the sidewalk. 

" Oh, we'll find somebody," he replied, somewhat hope- 



jU4 Hagar ReveUy 

leBsIy. " I guesB a thing like this has got to be done in a 
hoapital." 

They walked the entire way home, both overwhelmed by 
the calamity that now engulfed them, though in Hagar's 
mind lay a thought that she was thankful for the turn 
events had taken. 

" He'll know now that I was at least willing to do as he 
asked," she kept saying to herself. 

It was nearly noontime when they reached her steps and 
KB Herrick was obliged to hurry back to the factory, she 
trudged alone up the stairway, immersed in a feeling of 
isolation and despair. 

On reaching her room, she found a little white envelope 
laying face upwards on her dressing table. She opened it 
quickly and searched for the signature. It was from 
Miss Gillespie. She read : 

"Dear Hagar: 

I coold not get you over the telephone, and so am sending tMs 
note by special meaaenger. Don't come near the store until I 
see yon. If yon do, Greenfield will question you, and make 
yon think I told him all. However, he knows absolutely noth- 
ing, though I have had a qoarrel with him and have given up 
my position. See yon to-night. 

Mabel Gillbspib. 

P.S. — You have a very bad cold, understand. And don't 
yon dare to leave the house." 

In vain Hagar cast about for explanation of the note. 
It was nearly impossible for her to await the evening. 

What had Miss Gillespie told Greenfield? And why was 
she leaving her position? If they hadn't talked about 
her, why should Miss Gillespie have any fear that he 
would question her? 

Mingled ire and curiosity flooded her senses. It was a 
relief indeed when Miss Gillespie came home from the store 



Hagar ReoeUy S55 

that night. Her first question of Hagar tm to know if 
the note bad been received. 

" I didn't iee you at the storet" she aaid ; ** but I wasn't 
•are." 

" I got it," answered Hagar, ** but I don't understand 
it." 

Then Miss Gillespie related her entire interview with 
Greenfield. She had gone to him utterly unable to control 
a desire to censure him for putting Hagar in the way of 
enticing things. She had not meant to give him the idea 
that there was any trouble, but in a moment of anger he 
had turned on her, accusing her of keeping Hagar away 
and of telling her that he was not the rtg^t company. 
Then what could she doF She thought she could not dare 
to tell him the real reason for Hagar's staying away — 
BO she let him believe that he had struck the right expla- 
nation. 

" One word brought another, Hagar," Miss Gillespie 
went on, " and at last be told me I could leave on the ISth, 
so there yon are. I'm out of a job." 

Hagar thought a long time, at last saying, " Well, I'm 
awfully sorry, of course. But I don't see what right you 
had to discuss my affairs with Greenfield — or anyone 
else." 

Of a sudden, a remorseless anger appeared to have shot 
up in her. Completely ignoring her benefactor, Hagar 
walked angrily back and forth across the room. 

" Why Hagar, you don't feel that way against me, do 
youP" asked Miss Gillespie. 

All the pent-up emotions, the disappointments she had 
suffered, the product of her agonizing, withering experi- 
ence, DOW came forth in a torrent of words. 

" Yes," she went on, " that's the way I feel. You've 
put ideas in my head that spoiled everything between 
Frank and me. I would have submitted to whatever he 



aB6 Hagar ReoeUy 

wanted me to do, and now since I know more about it — I 
can't — my God, I can't. And he's so unhappy, and I am 
unhappy, and you've lost your job, all because of it. 
You're always preaching and talking rotten stuff. Gtood 
heavens, why couldn't you leave a thing that's bod enough, 
alone. Now look what you've done by your med- 
dling. ** 

Miss GUlespie took her by the shoulders. 

" You've been out to-day, haven't you? " 

" Yes, I have," replied Hagar bravely. 

** And you found out — that it's — too late, haven't 
you?" 

Hagar shook her head, and less defiantly, faltered, ** I 
think BO." 

" I thought as much." 

Then Miss Gillespie, in a very quiet way, told what her 
plans had been. 

" I don't know just what to say to you about this* 
Hagar," she continued. " But I'm going to tell you now, 
why I tried to make you see all that was good and holy. 
It was that I knew that it was too late. And that was 
one reason why I didn't want you to leave the house 
to-day. I didn't want him to get hold of you. To my 
mind that seemed the best way of making you understand. 
It would take a longer time than we've got to get you to 
see the sacredness of it. So I just made up my mind to 
have you hold out against the possibility of getting this 
information. He would have stayed by you then, I'm 
sure of it. But now — " 

** What — now — ^" 

" Well, now he's heard them tell you the truth of it, and 
I don't dare to think what he might do." 

*' You think he vton't marry me now? " 

" I think — more than that — " came the answer. 
" Oh, why did you leave the house to-day? ** 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C-'OOgk" 



Hagar ReveUy X07 

Hagar UDderstood more fully now the meaning of Miss 
Gillespie's suspicions. 

Late that night, after Hagar had waited over three 
hours for Herrick to keep his word and come to her, there 
came instead, by special messenger, a short note. In the 
envelope was twenty-five dollars. The note said that there 
had been some words with the boss at the factory and as 
they were reducing his salary anyway, he had decided to 
leave. He had heard of another job in a small town in 
Michigan, and he was leaving that night because there 
was a chance of losing it if he didn't get there right away. 
He hoped everything would be all right and was glad to do 
the square thing by her and leave her the twenty-five 
dollars. She must not hesitate to use it. 

Miss Gillespie sat up the night with her. 

In the morning a doctor came, procured through the 
landlady's young son, and pronounced the attack as one 
of typical hysteria, which sometimes, for no apparent 
reason attacked girls of about her age. It was probably 
due to nervous exhaustion accompanied by some indis- 
cretion of diet. 

Three days later. Miss Gillespie moved Hagar and her- 
self into another boarding house, an old brick building 
on Second Avenue, near Twentieth Street, 

Through the loquacity of Queolla LaMotte, all the 
boarders knew the real order of things, and so she thought 
it best that they both leave now, of their own accord. 
Realizing also that Greenfield's scrutinizing eye would 
be more alert than ever, she persuaded Hagar to give up 
the position at Rheinchild's. And as Hagar saw that she 
must do this anyway before many weeks passed, she readily 
gave in to the older woman's wishes. 

Another event, which did not altogether displease 
Hagar was to be told by her undiscerning mother, when she 
visited her on the second day of her residence in the new 



S68 Hagar RgveUy 

boarding place, that Mr. Nealy had procured a very good 
position in Poughkeepsie, as the editor of an evening 
paper, and that she had thought it over and decided for 
the Bake of companionship, to also take up her residence 
in that citj. She would leave in another week, and open 
a refined boarding place ; through Mr. Nealj it would not 
be long before she could do even better than she was 
doing in New York. Hagar would take all her vacation 
there, and run up now and then on Sundays. 

She told Hagar how she had written a letter to the 
professor many weeks before, saying that she did not want 
him to send any longer the entire monthly allowance of 
seventy-five dollars. 

In the dim twili^t that evening, the mother told the 
daughter of future plans ; while the child, her mind full 
of her own troubles, felt that she must get away quickly 
or else through weakness divulge to the mother the hidden 
secret. 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER XX 

GkbkmfibU) received Hagar's written resignation without 
a word of remonstrance. She had thought that he would 
perhaps send a note to her at least, might even come him- 
self to find out the trouble. Indeed, so curious was Hagar 
to ascertain whether he had done this, she called up the 
old boarding-place. But no word had been received, and 
when MisB Gillespie secured for her a position at Mack's, 
there was in her acceptance of it a certain spirit of 
revenge for his apparent indifference to her. 

Meanwhile, Miss Gillespie had found it not so easy to 
obtain a position for herself. Feeling she could not 
go backwards in her progress, she soon realized it 
was only in this manner that she would be able to procure 
anything. The field was rather limited at this season of 
the year, and even had she been willing to take a smaller 
salary, she could not obtain a position with anything like 
the amount of responsibility to which she had been ac- 
customed. 

After nearly an entire week spent in a fruitless search, 
she entered into correspondence with the Chicago branch 
of a New York firm, and at last, when this seemed the only 
thing left for her to do, she accepted the position. 

It was a woeful task for Hagar to see the kind woman 
board the train at the Pennsylvania Station. When the 
thin figure disappeared into the tunnel-like stairway lead- 
ing down to the tracks, Hagar felt as if it were she, and 
not Miss Gillespie, who was being swallowed up and taken 
eway. 

Untfl the rear li^ts of the train enteral the tunnel, 

S59 

DiailizodbvGoOgle 



MO Hagar Reoi^y 

Hagar stood peering down between the blacb iron bars, 
while surging over her was an intensified sensation of un- 
satisfaction, of loss, and great sadness. 

Walking over Thirty-second Street to the Broadway 
car, her face pale, her eyes glancing far ahead, Hagar's 
thoughts went back many times to the little freckled face 
woman. When she reached her home, and realized for the 
first time that she was actually alone, there seemed 
nothing else left for her to do but to cry. And in rather 
a methodical fashion, she undressed and went to bed, with 
a yellow paper-backed novel she had found in the writing 
room -at the store and a plentiful supply of handkerchiefs. 

Each day became a separate ordeal after that. Her 
position at Macy's was an unpleasant one, since she must 
sit confined in a sort of cage and make the change that 
came to her in little rubber-capped brass boxes. The puff- 
ing of the air-tubes and the sudden shooting out of the 
rubber-padded cases, continually startled her. Then there 
was none of the freedom, none of the feeling of ownership, 
that had been hers when at Rheinchild's. 

Many times as she sat in her little wire house, she would 
wish that she might he back in her old position. She 
would even think that she had acted wrongly in doing as 
Miss Gillespie had told her, and once when thinking in this 
fashion, she asked of herself if Miss Gillespie had not made 
her do this just to get even with Mr. Greenfield. 

The days dragged slowly. She had been in the new 
position about six weeks when she found she could not 
longer meet the inquisitive glances of the girls about her. 
Whenever she went into the wash-room, always there 
would be a half dozen or more giggling youngsters ungal- 
lantly screwing themselves through the crowd, passing 
hushed comments here and there. 

£v^ at the boarding-house it was nearly as bad. She 
had to lie and smirk at every step, telling the landlady. 



Hagar ReveUjf S61 

who had a higger heart than was apparent at first ac- 
queintaiice, that her husband was ill in the West, and out 
of a position ; that he had been on a big surveying scheme 
that had fallen through and would not be able to get back 
for two or three months. She was surprised to find how 
easily she told the story which Miss Gillespie had spent 
a whole evening in framing. 

But never before had she encountered such a period of 
loneliness as was now her lot. Her mother's letters from 
Poughkeepsie and occasional letters from the unhappy 
Miss Gillespie in Chicago did not fill the gap made when 
they had left her. 

One evening she walked the entire length of Riverside 
Drive up to One Hundred and Twenty-fifth Street, and 
with every step she took there seemed to be presented a 
new angle to her misery. She walked until her legs and 
back ached her so she could no longer stand the pain; 
then she sank into a bench alongside the road, with the 
realization that it was not many months before when she 
had been so happy in nearly the same place, with her 
mother and Mr. Nealy. She reached home about eleven 
o'clock, and as she dragged herself up the stairway, her 
legs felt as if they were hot coals, and her back a thing 
of glass. 

The nights were the hardest to bear. Where formerly 
she was at least sure of seeing Miss Gillespie, or Herricki 
or her mother when she wished her, she was now compelled 
to stay in her room. One evening she spent sitting on the 
stoop downstairs with the other boarders. But their 
glances made her so unhappy, she never again went near 
their nightly gathering. 

Her only real diversion was a moving picture establish- 
ment about a block away. And, after she had discovered 
the place, she was almost a nightly visitor. 

Nearly every evening she would pay the small fee and 



HBft Hagar Revdly 

then occupy some seat in the last row. After a time, she 
began to feel that one of these seats was being reserved 
for her, as often she found one of them vacant, when the 
rest of the ball was comf ortablj filled. 

At least, it was a good pastime for her, and her grasp- 
ing mind mode alive the heroes and heroines of the shad- 
owed canvas. Many times would tears come into her 
eyes when some engrossing love scene was depicted; and 
when the lovers were at last happily united in each other's 
arms, she would come out of her trance to find herself 
sobbing with joy. 

Hagar found that a bond of kinship existed between 
herself and the other *' regulars " of the picture show. 
A speaking acquaintanceship sprung up between herself 
and a half dozen others as' she continued to visit 
the place. They were all women, and they usually sat in 
the last row ; most of them came alone and only seldom did 
she see them in company with some man or some other 
woman. 

One night she stopped to apeak to a woman, a good deal 
past her own age, who for the last few times had been 
sitting next to her. 

" I see you nearly every night," said Hagar. " Do 
you always come so often?" 

" Oh, yes. There is nothing else to do." 

The woman asked Hagar where she lived and when 
Hagar told her, the woman begged her to call sometimes. 
She lived only a block away. 

" I come here about every other night," she went od. 
" I've got a man, but we can't be seen out together. He*a 
married, you know." She gave a sad, weary smile. 

In one way or another Hagar came to understand that 
a moving picture show was an institution that harbored 
many lonely women. The back row was always filled and 
she would often wonder if their story was the same m that 

L, ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



Hagar RmeUy 263 

of the woman she'd met. As she kept on visiting the 
place, she came to feel that the air of mystery that hung 
about these silent, lonesome people was o. thing to be 
sought for, and when, after a time she came to have a 
nodding acquaintance with most of them, her childish mind 
put her too, in this charmed circle. 

In only a few weeks Hagar felt it a solemn duty that 
she appear in her usual seat in the last row. 

A great change had really taken place in her since Miss 
Gillespie's departure. No longer was she the innocent, 
eager child that had confronted Greenfield, or who had 
become so embittered towards Nealy. 

It seemed that something in her had broken, as if she 
were a big bubble that had been pierced by some sharp 
instrument. She felt so little interested now in the things 
that interested other people. Everything appeared 
rather useless. When she would become excited over some 
passing thing, she would feel a little ashamed of herself 
for having the emotion. 

This period of resignation lasted until about a month 
before the expected event. Then there came, quite 
suddenly, it seemed, a gradual metamorphosis. She be- 
came awakened, without being able to account for it, and 
found herself stimulated by the things that previoasly had 
made her resigned and submissive. 

One night, standing in front of the mirror, she found 
as she regarded herself, that she was possessed of a fierce 
desire to get over her trouble, and be pretty and young 
again. After that night, the quest for freedom and 
happiness was the dominating influence that made her 
enter into each day with a nearly frenzied desiiV for fur- 
ther enduring. 

And now she would walk along the street, shutting her 
eyes and gritting her teeth at the perilous facts that 
awaited her. Terrible, strange sensations, would again 



a64 Hagar Revdly 

and again nearly force her into the most abject periods of 
despondency. But it only made her fight more grimly. 
She found the only way to battle against these weaker 
momenta was to set her teeth and repeat over and over 
again in her thoughts : " I am going to live — I am 
going to live • — I am going to live." 

The advisabihty of sending for some one often came to 
her mind. She had so little money, there was only about 
thirty dollars left in the Adams Bank where she kept her 
deposit, and each day was eating steadily into that. She 
wished a good deal that Miss Gillespie was in New York, 
and even thought she would write to her mother, who was 
now BO happy in Poughkeepsie, and tell her everything. 

But a picture of their meeting, and all the wrath and 
censure would quickly dismiss the idea. Even telling 
Greenfield was considered, but that showed itself to be out 
of the question — since he knew nothing of her dilemma, 
it seemed very foolish to inform him. 

The only one to whom she could turn was Tbatah, and 
Hagar fully decided to send her a note in the next few 
days, begging for an interview. Of course, Thatah hated 
her, but she couldn't really blame her, and there seemed no 
way out of it. 

As she thought it over, it appeared she must be able 
to endure the humiliations for the benefit to be gained. 
Thatah could loan her a little money until she was able to 
get back to work. 

However, she put off sending for her sister uotQ the 
doctor should give her a definite period. 

The darker days crept on quickly. 

She gave up her position in Macy's and now spent the 
time in her room, sitting and waiting in a vague, bewil- 
dered way, full of suspense and dread. 

One morning, after a long time spent in hesitation she 
wrote the letter asking Thatah to come. 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,GOOgk" 



Hagar ReveBg S6S 

It was a dark, gloomy day, and at noontime, Hagar 
felt 3o restless and uneasy, she sought her bed. An odd 
feeling of lassitude hung over her, and a little later in the 
afternoon she felt so ill, she called in the young physician 
to whom she had spoken about her case. 

The doctor came and comforted her a good deal by 
telling her there was no need to worry, that it was many 
days before she need be watchful, and that she was only 
suffering from nervousness and apprehension. 

For this information, she handed him a dollar and a 
half. However, she felt that he was not giving her case 
enough importance, or else that he was really worried and 
only put the matter U^tly so that she would not be aware 
of it. She wished that she could have afforded a more ex- 
pensive physician, 

Hagar was hardly settled in bed that night, after a 
meal which had been brought up from the dining room, 
when a great discomfort overcame her. At five o clock, 
the next morning, the child, a boy, was bom to her. 



=dbvGooglc 



CHAPTER XXI 

The child was hardlj three weeks born, before Mrs. 
Kempfest, the landlady, inquired of Hagar aboat the pay- 
ment of the accumulated board monej. 

This was a difficult situation to face for the ^rl* as 
Thatah had paid no attention to her note, and there 
having been some signs of inflammation that necessitated 
her remaining in bed for a time longer than the usual 
period, everj bit of monej had been given to the doctor to 
make him continue bis visits. 

" I must inquire, Mrs. Kenned;, as to who will pay roe 
my board money," said the woman, as she stood in the 
shadow of the doorway. " It is already three weeks, and 
I never wait for more than a week for anybody." 

Hagar was lying quietly in bed. Arousing herself 
■lowly, she asked, as if she had not heard, what was tbe 
trouble. 

The woman repeated the object of her visit. 

Hagar drew herself up on the pillow, her face still 
flushed with fever, 

** Please, please, Mrs. Kempfest," she begged, weakly, 
" don't worry me now. Ill be better in a few days, and 
you won't lose anything." 

Standing on the threshold of the door, with her red 
hands on her hips, and a very stem expression about her 
mouth and eyes, the woman regarded Hagar for some 
time, and then, with mumbled words to herself, abruptly 
left the room and went down the stairway. 

That evening Hagar wrote another note to Thatah, 
again begging her to come. 

*"* DiailizodbvGoOgle 



Hagar ReoeUy 9ffl 

" Ask for Mrs. Frank Kennedy," she wrote. " I am 
sick in bed. Pleaae come, please." It was a discordant 
whisper of despair that Hagar penned on the white paper. 

Then she called down to Mrs. Kempfest, asking that 
someone come up to take the letter. One of the women, 
with whom she had formed something of a friendship, 
came up, after over as hour of waiting. But it was only 
to hear again repeated in her ears, as if in payment for 
the errand, the intelligence that no one had called on her 
since she had been sick, and that everybody was remarking 
about it. 

It was suspicion again, but the full importance of the 
woman's remark did not penetrate into poor Hagar*8 
understanding, until the woman was well down the stair- 
way. Then she called her back. 

" I want you to understand," Hagar emphasized, " that 
my husband • — that my husband is on a surveying trip, 
and if you knew anything about it, you'd know that they 
stay away from civilization for months at a time." 

" I am sorry, child," said the woman quietly, noticing 
in Hagar's face an unhappiness that for all the child's 
harsh words made her fee] kindly toward ber. 

To Hagar's great surprise, Thatab came up very early 
the next morning. The milkman had just left his bottles 
at the bottom of the stairs, and as she came softly up the 
stairway, the rattle of his cart was mingled in her steps. 
Thatah had an opportunity to come into the room even, 
without Hagar being aware of it. 

A cheerless sight met Thatah's eyes. Hagar, whom 
she had thought so lucky, lay in the bed, her bead buried 
in a heap of soiled white blankets, her body outlined by 
a curved ridge in the covering. 

The room smelled iUy, as of clothing drenched by rain« 
or the stale smell of hair and bristle. On the floor was 
spread a worn bit of rug; on the window, as thoo^ bur- 



868 Hagar ReoeUy 

dened by some human effort, were two geranium plants 
struggling for existence in the foul atmosphere. 

It was dark in the room, and Thatah'g eyes did not 
penetrate to the bed and its occupants with anything more 
than a casual glance, until her eyes swept past nearly 
every other object; the bits of ribbon that lay scattered 
on the bureau, a broken toilet bottle, a waterbag, a bit 
of hair puffing, a dejected-looking silk hairnet hanging 
carelessly on the arm of the gas jet. 

Then she saw the huddled mass in the bed. 

She began slowly. " Hagar, the woman downstairs — 
told me to come right up — what — " 

But now she perceived something more. A frantic cry 
arose from her heart, and formed into terror as the words 
came from her lips. 

" Hagar, oh, Hagar, what on earth has happened to 
you!" 

Hagar, thinned, gaunt looking, turned a white, tear- 
stricken face towards her sister. A great fear had her 
in its grasp. 

She tried to answer, but there was in her throat a 
spasmodic gripping that held the cords inarticulate. It 
was only with a blank, incomprehensible stare that she 
could return Thatah's words. 

At last, after hovering between fear and shame, she 
managed to say : ** Forgive me, Thatah — I had no one 
dse to send for." 

Then she gave a wild cry as she burst on : " Oh, 
Thatah, how glad I am you've come, I don't know what 
would have happened to me if you hadn't." 

" I wish I had known," said Thatah. " I was away in 
a horrid position in the White Mountains for nearly three 
months, and just came home last night. Oh, I wish I had 
known." 

It is difficult to say how Thatah first noticed the child. 
.OOglf 



Hagar ReveUy 269 

For the first time in nearlj a week, it had lain absolutely 
quiet and, in the darkened room, ita slight movement of 
breathing was not discernible. It was while Thatah was 
taking off her coat and hat, that she gave a sudden stop 
and ran over to the bed, while she forcibly turned Hagar*s 
face toward her. 

Though intense feeling and surprise was pent up within 
Thatah, the words came softlj, even sweetly to Hagar 
who had expected a torrent of abuse from her. 

** Hagar, jon — are — a mother ! " Thatah ex- 
claimed. 

But she did not speak harshly and the kindness of those 
words was the first tonic that had come to Hagar in all 
the heart-aching days. 

For just a moment Hagar hesitated, then she took hold 
of Thatah's hands and drew them down to her face in a 
begging plea of forgiveness. 

** Oh, Thatah, you're so good, so good, not to scold 
me," she cried. '* Tell me, you'll stay by me. Tell me 
that first before you say another word." Then aa 
Thatah, who was too rapt in surprise, in consternation 
at her sister*s pli^t, failed to answer, Hagar went on, 
half raising herself in bed, and saying in a voice that 
burrowed to the very depths of Thatah : 

" Oh, sister, you've got to stay by me. You don't 
know what Fve gone through the last few weeks. You 
mustn't forsake me. You're the only one I can turn to. 
You will, dearie, you will, won't you? " 

And then her tears flooded more, though now from 
gratitude, for on Thatah's face was a smile, tender and 
forgiving. 

** Of course, sister, 111 stand by you," answered 
Thatah, who looked steadily into Hagar's eyes. Going 
on gently, she said : ** After all, there's nothing to for- 
give — if — if — you loved him." 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



S70 Hagar ReveUy 

" Oh, for you to Bay that, Thatah," cried Hagar. 

Thatah turned away to conceal her emotiona. 

** And you won't ever tell on me? " 

" 111 never tell any one, Hagar.'* 

" Oh, I don't believe it's true," whiapered Hagar. 

" I've been nearly crazy thinldng about what you would 
do when you came." 

In disconnected sentences, full of anguish, Hagar now 
told of all her trials, relating how Nealy had dragged her 
throu^ the aisle of the store, when she refused to leave ; 
the faithlessness of Herrick, the goodness of Miss Gil- 
lespie. They talked and confided, and Thatah, after a 
time, even related a little of how monotonous had been 
her own existence. 

" But I haven't seen it — " exclaimed l^atah, in the 
midst of their confidences. *' Please — " and she bent 
fondly over the little pink face projecting, like a hidden 
berry, from out the folds of blankets and quilts. Hagar 
imcovered the little long head. 

** I couldn't look at him for three days," Hagar con- 
fessed, as she watched Thatah. 

" How awful, Hagar," cried Thatah. " Why he's a 
dear." 

" And you don't blame me, Thatah, you don't blame me 
at allP " begged Hagar after Thatah had put the child 
bock among the blankets. 

*• Hagar, if you loTed him and you thought he loved 
you, bow — how can I blame youP There is nothing more 
glorious that I can imagine. And though you were young 
and foolish, you lived up to your understanding of 
affection, and — why I envy you. I wouldn't want to be 
blamed." 

" But Thatah, you don't think I did wrong? " 

" Oh, let's not discuss it now. I've got views, I guess 
they're strange ones." 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar Revetig tTl 

** They are strange, sister — some people irould say 
you are a bad woinan to think like that." 

Thatah smiled. " You don't think Fm a bad vnnan f ** 

Hagar seemed hurt by her remark. 

" Tbatah, how can you ask that • — when you have been 
so good to me ! Of course not." 

" We're been separated a year or more, Hagar," con- 
tinued Thatab. *' In that time I've thought over and over 
again that juBt this thing — the thing that's befallen 
you, was the most glorious thing that could happen to 
anyone." She looked away from Hagar for a moment, 
saying in a voice fuH of yearning — " Just to be purely a 
material thing, without laws, anything — just to be a 
' human being in the way God made you, because you 
wanted to be that way • — " Her eyes dimmed a little. 

" Thatah," said Hagar, grasping ber sister's arm, 
** you're being so strange." 

Thatah smiled and went on. " You see, sister, I'm 
not bitter and hard. It's because I've thought so much 
about this thing. Yes, I've thought this, repeated it over 
and over to myself, wished it in the face of marriage even, 
when I thought that marriage put a damper on one's truer 
self. . , . Oh, Fve thought this when I was sitting in 
the room watching father read and smoke, I've thought 
of this when I looked down into the backyard next door, 
with the feeling that I would like to throw a looking glass 
or a water pitcher down there on the cement pavement, 
just to wake up somebody, just to startle myself even. 

'* No, you oughtn't to feel so bad about it, Hagar. You 
ouf^t to be even a little proud, and hold your head up 
bravely in front of the world." 

** Oh, how beautiful, for you to talk that way," Hagar 
cried, finding for the first time some vindication in her 
misfortune. 

" Well, it's got deep meaning, I guess," said 'Diatah. 

.■,;<,i:..,C00glc 



S7X Hagar ReveUp 

** I think a good deal just like this. You would too, if 
jou lived alone." 

Then she took Hagar's extended hand, saying: " Why, 
I've known a man over a year, and though he is much 
older than I am, and it prohably would not hurt anything, 
yet I have never let him kiss me even, though he has often 
wanted to do it out of pure fatherliness. And when he 
was close to me, I would have given anything on earth, if 
I had cared enough for him, to have wanted him to do it. 
After all, there is not much diflference." 

'* I know," exclaimed Hagar. " I've felt that way, 
too." 

" So, the only thing that is worth while is to be truth- 
ful to yourself. That's what it comes to," Thatah went 
on. 

" Oh, Thatah, you're a wonderful woman — I never 
knew," interrupted Hagar, with reverence in her voice. 

They talked for a long while. Thatah experienced 
great pleasure in fondling the infant, and as Hagar saw 
the eyes of her older sister become bri^t as she handled 
the baby, a feeling stole over her that she, too, ought to 
feel this way. 

After a time, Thatah rose to go, with a promise to 
return at night. But Hagar grasped her hand, begging 
her to stay longer. 

" Oh, please, sister, don't leave me ; it's so good to have 
you. Please don't go." Then she repeated again, " I 
can't understand why you are so kind to me, I thought 
you hated me." 

Thatah stood looking down at the pale little face in the 
bed. " Why should I? " she asked. 

" Because — because I've done so wrong, I guess." 

In a flame of gratitude, Hagar kissed the long narrow 
hand that stroked her forehead, while Thatah only smiled, 
and felt that for the first time she, too, wa« beginning to 
I ,i,z<,d.vCoOgIf 



Hagar ReveUy 273 

understand this strange thing she had been trying to 
express. 

Hagar held her hand tightly, as if possessed of a fear 
that Thatah would forsake her, and to keep her from 
leaving, she spoke about the first thing she could think of 
-— how insensible she had been to Herrick's advances and 
slyness. 

" Slyness," Thatah interrupted. " Didn't he love 
you? " 

Hagar looked at her with downcast eyes, saying, ** I'm 
afraid I loved him more than he loved me." 

A little hysterically she put her arms around Thatah's 
neck, and as Thatah bent over her, cried bitterly, " Oh, 
Fm such a fool, sister — such a fool \ " 

Hagar related to her now, the story of the whole affair, 
and this time she gave Greenfield his share of the blame. 

" I blame him for putting that strange understanding 
in me," Hagar went on. " Miss Gillespie was right. It 
was he who made me realize for the first time how good it 
was to be loved, and have somebody hold you close. And 
though I never wanted h.wn, yet I couldn't help seeing how 
good it would be if I really loved somebody the way he 
said. Then Frank came just at the right moment, I 
guess." 

Hagar continued the story, telling how it didn't seem 
to be the same thing when Herrick was with her, because 
he never worried her by proposing anything that had to 
do with their intimacy. 

" I guess Greenfield was squarer with me than he was. 
He told me right out and out," she added. 

Before Thatah left, the room was put in order, the 
window opened wider; Hagar had given her the address 
of the doctor, and Mrs. Kempfest was called in and made 
to understand that she should not worry about the rent. 

Though it had been a strange interview, this convCTM- 



274 Hagar ReveUg 

tiott with Hagar was the first break Thatah had experi- 
enced in many months of undiversified monotony. 

Something human, real, bad come in her path, and the 
words of daring opinion that came to her lips, or the feel- 
ing of ezuttatioQ, that filled her as she walked to the office, 
were part of some inner feeling of defiance and revolution 
that she could not name nor even understand. 

Wh; had she talked so kindly to HagarP Why, in 
walking up those squalid steps to Hagar's room> had a 
feeling of kindness for Hagar permeated her being. Had 
she not expected to find the girl in trouble? Surely she 
had known that Hagar was in dire circumstances^ else 
would she have been called? 

As Thatah reasoned with herself, she saw that it was 
because she understood the child's' utter blamelessness, 
even helplessness, that she had been so benevolent. She 
knew the inheritance that had been handed her. It was 
her mother, not Hagar, she decided, who was to be 
blamed. 

Thatah was overwhelmed by the fact that this zest for 
truth in life should so fill her that she should see no wrong 
in Hagar's predicament. The days for her had been 
so colorless, so lacking in anything that would disturb the 
galling monotony. 

That day Thatah found it very difficult to keep to her 
work. Hagar's troubles seemed to act like a stimulant. 
For a time she was really at a loss to know whether it was 
Hagar, or the new-bom child, that brought to her this 
feeling of exhilaration. 

As she sat at the side of Graveur she was enveloped by 
many recollections. Her employer would talk to her of 
business details, while her mind dwelt amongst the days 
and nights of the year that had passed ; he talked to her 
of singers and contracts, things which had formerly in- 
terested her intensely, and she only thought of the ghastli- 



Hagar Revellj/ XfS 

nesa of her life; recollecting how she had vondered dur- 
ing those lonely nights, if she was alwajrs to be ho un- 
happy. 

She remembered a day that she had pleaded illness to 
faim, so that she might go home and sit by the window and 
plan some way out of it. And after that, when she began 
to feel that there was no way out, she remembered how she 
had likened herself to a prisoner. 

There was rebellion that day in Tbatah. Her body, 
her mind and soul became permeated by it, and she never 
before felt so ashamed of the emptiness of her existence. 
" Not a thing in it that counted, not a feeling or an 
emotion that mattered," she kept thinking to herself. 
The only thing she was proud of was her allegiance to her 
father. 

Graveur was puzzled by her mood. He thought she 
looked prettier somehow, too, for he saw now color in her 
formerly pale cheeks, and a look of desire in her eyes of 
which he had never before been conscious. 

" Thatah," he said, after they had shut the lid of his 
desk, " I have watched you all day — and I have dis- 
covered something." 

"What?" she asked. 

He hesitated. 

" Well, to explain myself, I must go back a little. Ton 
know I used to watch you a good deal, and after you'd 
been here some months, I decided that you were a cold, 
passionless individual, who neither thought of anything 
emotional nor cared about it. And now to-day, I have 
been watching you again end I seem to see that I have 
been mistaken." 

** What do you mean? ** 

" Oh, that youVe got all this human understanding, 
all the feeling — but that, must I say it — that you are 
simply a good woman and fight it out.** .^ 

,„z<,i..,Googlc 



tXS Hagar Reveliy 

"So jou think I'm good, Mr. Graveur?" she asked, 
wondering at the similantj of their thou^ts. 
** Yes, I'm sure of it." 
" And — do JOU think I deserve any credit for 

it?" 

** Now that's a question," he answered, with a smile. 
** So many people deserve no credit at all for being good) 
because they don't know. It takes temptation to make 
one good' — because then they have something to resist. 
A person that's good just because there is nothing else 
to do surely deserves no credit for it. 

" In which class am IP " she said, rather nuvelj. 

** I'm not exactly sure, yet." 

**WeU| I'll enlighten you, Mr. Graveur. I am not 
good, thank Heavens ! " 

" Another one of your theories." 

** No, not a theory, but a real fact." As she went on 
there was a wistfulness, a certain shading in her voices 
that showed Graveur she was in deep earnest. " I'm not 
good. I'm only what looks like being good because things 
don't tempt me enough. Or else it is circumstance, as 
you say. However, I am not good. I want things, only 
I don't want them to come cheaply, through resignation. 
I want what I want when I dream. Oh, you don't know 
what I dream. 

** Pve got a little sister, Mr. Graveur," she said, look- 
ing up at him, " that I've been thinking about all day. 
She doesn't know the world is moving around her. She's 
like a cork in the water, bobbing up and down when the 
waves are rough, placid and quiet when the water is 
smooth. But she doesn't know she's living, poor child. 
And yet she goes through — a good deal. And some 
day shell go down under the waves. She's at the mercy 
of everyone, at-tbe-mercy-of-world like. And when she 
goes down, people will blame her, and say she is a bad 

_ Google 



Hagar ReveUy VTt 

iroman, when ia reality it is because she is believing and 
good. 

" But I repudiate the verj word good. Ough, it's like 
the smell of onions to me," she added. 

Graveur listened to her in a state of mingled interest 
and perplexity. As she finished, he said: 

" Thatah, you puzzle me. I don't believe I will ever 
understand you. You jump so on everything I sug- 
gest." 

She saw that his fingers were clenched tightly together. 
** You think too deeply, and strangely. It isn't good for 
you." 

The ^rl folded her hands restlessly, and leaned a lit- 
tle forward. *' Yes, I know, but I'd rather think in this 
fashion and even be unhappy, than to be happy tgno- 
rantly, Mr. Graveur." 

When Thatah left the office, she hurried back to Hagar. 
The late summer's sun was penetrating through a light 
veil of mist and though it was growing rapidly dusk, Tha- 
tah walked all the way. It seemed to give her better op- 
portunity to turn over in her mind the problem that con- 
fronted her. 

One thought occupied her most. It was the idea that 
lay back of the words she had poured into Hagar's ears 
that morning. 

Entering the vestibule of Hagar's place she paused 
to ring, and then as no one came, silently went up the 
stairs. 

At the second landing, she met Mrs. Eempfest. 

She asked of the woman, " Is Hagar asleep? " 

** Hagar! Oh, you mean Mrs. Kennedy? I didn't 
know her first name — " 

" Mrs. Kennedy — " 

*' Yes, miss, I just left her. She is not sleeping; shell 
be glad to sec you." ^-. . 

D,a,l,z.dbvGOOgIe 



tT8 Hagar ReveUy 

Thatoh wmt up the third flight. As her glance fell 
upon the half-cloeed door, shutting off all the untiappiness 
and ugliness that la; back of it, an uncomfortable feel- 
ing of awe took hold of her. 

She heard Hagar stir in the bed. 

" Maj I come inP " she asked softly. 

" Yea, sister." 

** Vm all out of breath," said Tbatah, as she entered 
the room and sat by the side of the bed. She added, a 
little jocularly, " You should have an elevator, Hagar." 

"On seven dollars a week?" 

Hagar's remark gave Thatah the opportunity to re- 
mark that she had brou^t along ten dollars. " I 
thought that would help," Thatah said carelessly. 

Hagar would not accept it however, untO Thatah had 
promised to let her pay it back. 

Immediately they fdl to talking of prospects for the 
future. 

" You know, I'm going to be up against it, when I get 
out of bed," confided Hagar. "FU have to get a job, 
and the way I feel now, I don't believe I will be able to 
hold down anything that requires hard work. Why, 
sometimes," she said faintly, *' I think that — that hell 
come back — and marry me, and make things all right. 
Somehow it seems the only way for everything to end 
happUy." 

" Would you marry him, after what he's doneP " asked 
Thatah. 

" Why, sure. It's bis duty to support me — and the 
child." 

'* But supposing you hated faim — as you probably 
ought to hate him for leaving you — you couldn't go and 
live with him after that, could youP " 

"I — well, I never thought of that. What would you 
do?» 

DoiizodbvLiOOgle 



Hagar ReveUy 279 

rnutafa nniled. " Oh, I don't know. I suppose I'd 
mind cooventioD and think more of the child's name than 
of my feelings. That's the usual thing." 

Hagar swept a furtive ^ance in Thatah's direction. 
" You know," she said with some spirit, " I feel different 
sometimes, when I am not so puzzled about the ri^t and 
wrong of the thing. Then, I feel like I ought to hunt 
up Frank's mother. She lives near Albanj some place, 
and get his address, and then go where he is, and — " 

" And what? " 

" Oh, Bometiniea I feel as if I ought to kill him for get- 
ting me in this trouble. And then — therell come a 
feeling that makes me remember how happj we were to- 
gether op there on the hill, all alone — and I forgive 

Thatah walked over to the window. " Poor little sis- 
ter," she murmured, quite inaudibly. 

** But if I get out of this all ri^t. 111 make somebody 
pay — pretty dearly for it, too." 

Thatah came over and sat down on the bed's edge. 
" Why, what do you mean, Hagar? " 

" Oh, I mean that I will get even for what I've gone 
throuj^" 

" You mean joull take a revenge on the whole sex, 
then?" 

*' Yes, something like that, I gaess." 

** Which is exactly what every woman says, Hagar,** 
exclaimed Tliatah earnestly. " We love and yearn 
blindly, without anyone sharing our happiness, and yet if 
we suffer by them, we want the whole world to share our 
misery." 

At that moment, Mrs. Kempfest knocked at the door 
and asked if she should bring in the supper. 

** Oh, will you stay? " Hagar pleaded, taking Thatah's 

hand. ^-^ i 

DoiizodbvLiOOgle 



itSO Hagar RmeUy 

As her aieter iKsitated, Hagar gave the orHer fot two 
suppers. 

"But what will father think?*' interjected Thatah. 

"Good Lord, can't jou stay away without having to 
account for every moment? *' 

" I haven't yet, sister," smiled Thatah. 

" 111 bet / wouldn't pet him so. How is he ? '* 

" Oh, getting along al! right, I suppose." 

"Does he ever ask for me?" 

*• He asks very often, Hagar." 

Both were silent for some minutes. 

Then Hagar spoke up. "Oh, well, things ha3 to be 
the way they were, didn't they? " 

" I guess so.** An enigmatical smile covered Thatah's 
pale face. 

"He never showed he cared for me," blurted out Ha- 
gar, after some thought, 

Thatah answered immediately : " Don't talk so, dear, 
he is very fond of you. Perhaps more so than of me. 
It would break his heart, if he knew — of this, for in- 
stance. He's always looking at your picture." 

"Does he do that? " 

Thatah nodded. 

*'0h, for Heaven's sake, you won't tell him, will you? 
You must promise that. You won't ever tell, wQl you, 
Thatah? " 

" I won't, Hagar," promised Thatah. 

But before Hagar was pacified, she made Thatah swear 
with one hand on the little Bible that Mrs. Kempfest 
bad left on the mantelpiece. 

Then Hagar lay back on her pillow, her chin doubled 
against her chest, her arms back of her head. 

As she sat on the edge of the bed, Thatah smoothed 
back the hair that hung over the girl's forehead. " I 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar ReveUy tSl 

lued to wonder, what jou'd come to some day, Hagar," 
she remarked. 

Hagar laughed sadly. " You don*t wonder any more, 
do you, sister? " 

** Well, I don't know. This isn't the end." 

" But you don't think — I'm only beginning, do youP " 

" Oh, I rather think so, Hagar." 

*'fiut, sister, I don't understand you," Hagar inter- 
rupted, with wrinkled brows. " Surely you see what I'm 
up against. I've got to support " — she hesitated, as 
if she disliked the word — " this child, and raise it, and 
then some day tell it the truth, and see it run away from 
me — " 

" Because people will be telling him you've no ri^t to 
him?" 

" Yes. That, and because he'll probably be like his 
father." 

" Poor child, Hagar." 

" Oh, to tell the truth — I'm tired of it before I be- 
gin, Thatah. Everything seems so foolish, useless — I 
wish — oh, I don't know what I wish, sometimes." 

" There is a way out of it, sister, if you just think." 

** Oh, tell me, Thatah." 

** Well, just live for the tome day, Hagar. If I didn't 
have that to think about, I don't know what I'd do, either. 
Of course we're poor, and we have got to be reconciled to 
the fact that in the meantime we've just got to live in the 
niche set aside for our kind." 

Hagar's lips were pressed together with determina- 
tion. 

" 111 bet I get out of it, if they ever give me a chance," 
she exclaimed. 

Thatah noticed the bitterness in her sister's words. 

" Well, after all, that is the only way to look at it. 

DolizodbvCoOglc 



«8S Hagar ReoeUy 

Hope, dream, — after &U, it's been just that, that haa 
kept me up more than anything Fve ever fed myself, Ha- 
gar. It's true, though " — she rose from the side of the 
bed — " one has to wait, wait, wait, and yet we have no 
more chance of getting what we want than if we ran on 
to it by accident, the first day of our search. That's 
the way things are run, though. Ob, things aren't a bit 
fair, not a bit." 

Thatah's face presented a strange appearance to Ha- 
gar as she went on talking. The languor seemed to have 
died from the eyes, the lips were thinly drawn — in that 
moment she imagined she could see all the yearning 
and aching days her sister had gone through. And 
she became filled with a feeling of deep pity and af- 
fection. 

Thatah went on talking is hard, compressed tones. 
** That's the reason, Hagar, people think me soured and 
vindictive ; that's the reason father thinks I have no feel- 
ing or understanding for human things; yes, that's the 
reason I'm going to take this baby off your hands, Ha- 
gar." 

"Thatah, whatever are you saying?" said Hagar in 
astonishment. 

" Just what I mean, Hagar. I am going to take him 
home as soon as the doctor thinks I can." 

Hagar was overwhelmed by the enormity of the idea, 
made perhaps more startling and expressive by its non- 
chalant entrance. 

" You can't mean - — that you are going to take hinb 
and raise him — for me?" 

" More than that. I am going to take him and teach 
him, and fall in love with him. Why shouldn't I? I am 
a woman — it's my right. You don't need ever to bother 
about him. I'll tell them at home that I have taken him 
from some Foundling Asylum. Why, it's the only way 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar ReveUy S8S 

out of it for ;ou, though I*m not doing it for that reason 
— unless, someone knows already." 

" No one knows, Thatah," I^agar thought of Miss 
Gillespie and Herrick. " That is — that's here." 

" Well, then, it's the only possible way out of it for 
you. You ought to be happy about it." 

" Happy — why you take my breath away, Thatah. 
Are you doing this for meP " 

" Oh, for both of us," answered Thatah vaguely. 

** I certainly can't understand," Hagar kept on. 

Herself really surprised that she had so easily worded 
the vague idea that had bothered her all day, Thatah 
now became quite determined. " Yes, I'll take him — 
be as a mother to him — only you must promise one 
thing." 

"What's that?" 

" That if I take him — that you won't ever want him 
back." 

" Gree, you needn't worry about that," Hagar said posi- 
tively. 

And so, before Thatah left, arrangements had been 
quite completed to carry out Thatah's desire. 

That night, as Hagar lay in her bed with the crying 
baby at her side, there came speculatively before her 
vision, a half dozen words ; they seemed to be emblazoned 
in burning embers against a black, cloudy sky; and the 
words blazed back and forth and beckoned to her in their 
dancing, shooting jets of flame: "Free again — free 
again — free again." And each little spark had its own 
vague significance. 

Hagar, with the wonderful rebound of youth, gained 
strength in the days that followed. It was not long 
before the young smiling physician, in his old-experienced 
manner, told her that she could leave the bed. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



CHAPTER XXn 

With Thatah'a money, a nurse was paid to staj with the 
baby, and two months after Hagar left her sick bed, she 
was strong enough to take a position in another depart- 
ment of Macy's. 

Though the extra expense, for the nurse, drained heav- 
ily on Thatah, she met the outlay with a good deal of 
satisfaction, feeling that she could only look at it in one 
way — the building of a foundation for her future hap- 
piness. With this in her mind, it became a pleasure, 
during the period of waiting until the baby could be 
placed on bottled nourishment, to stint herself and bor- 
row advance salary. 

Then one day, after talking with the doctor, Thatah 
went to Hagar*s room with the news that the baby could 
be taken away. 

After very little ceremony, the nurse woman was dis- 
missed, and Thatah took the child back to Mrs. Neer'a 
boarding house. It was quite late when she arrived with 
her little human bundle but there was no surprise ex- 
pressed by any of the different boarders who saw her 
come into the house. For weeks she had followed a care- 
fully laid plan, casually mentioning now and then the 
fact that she thought of adopting a child. 

It was not long before the relationship between Hagar 
and Thatah was as quiet and slumbering as it had always 
been. 

In fact the only time that they had anything in com- 
mon again was when Thatah wrote and asked if she might 
name the youngster " £dric.*' 



DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar Revdly 2S5 

" It seems to fit him," wrote Thatah. " What do you 
say?" 

Hagar wrote back: "It's all the same to me." 

So the boy was named " Edric," and the former state 
of sisterly disinterestedness became as it was before. 
Hagar felt quite free again, whOe Thatah understood in 
a queer sort of way, that in taking the child she had 
somehow justified her ambitions. 

Hagar was free again. Indeed, great as was her ap- 
preciation of an escape from a lifetime of devotion to 
this child which she could not love, her eagerness for a new 
life was greater, and after a short time encompassed this 
feeling of gratitude which for a few days after Thatah 
had taken the child, had been quite keen. 

It was not a saddened woman that stepped out from 
her fetters, but a young eager girl again. There was 
only added to her former state of youthful anticipation, 
the appreciation of life that enters into the mind 
of the matured woman. She was clever now, but not 
any longer in the former childlike way. Now she knew 
bow to read people's faces, search their minds, play upon 
their points at least resistance. 

Before her new position was three months old, the man- 
ager raised her salary to nine dollars a week because of 
the increased sales in her department, and it gave Hagar 
some satisfaction when she put four dollars of this money 
in an envelope and sent it to Thatah. 

However, the recipient of the envdope was having a 
harder time than Hagar imagined. 

A few days after the infant was brought into the 
domicile of Mrs. Neer, there seemed to enter along with 
it a peculiar condition of apathy on the part of the en- 
tire household. It affected Mrs. Costello, Mr. Samuels, 
and even Mrs. Neer felt as if an alien or intruder had 
been allowed to enter the bouse. 

L ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



t86 Hagar Revelly 

At the table one night, Mrs. Neer spoke up. " I can't 
see why Miss Revetl; should undertake to raise some 
foundling, just because of a whim- I should think her 
father would have more control over her." 

"Where did she get it?" intruded a little woman at 
the end of the table. 

" At some Foundling Asylum," Mrs. Costello answered 
coldly. 

The little woman answered back : " It seems to me 
they have had a hard enough time living as it is." 

" Some people are fools," added Mrs. Costello. 

When Thatah and her father came downstairs there 
was a hush, aa if to bury the subject for future use, 
though there was the usual effusive hypocrisies — " Good 
evening, professor " — " Good evening. Miss Revelly " — 
" Good evening, Mrs. Neer " — " Won't you pass the meat 
platter for the professor, Mr. Samuels?" — ^" Ah — we 
were just saying, Miss Thatah " — while to herself Tha- 
tah counted the moments tiU she could rush upstairs and 
confide in the little pink-skinned youngster. 

They had small steaks for supper that evening and 
Mrs. Costello was asking Thatah to pass the dish for a 
second helping, when she remarked, in a well-meant effort 
to cover up her request: 

" Well, Miss Revelly, it will be nice to watch the young- 
ster grow older, won't it? " * 

"You think' so?" replied Thatah, amused by the 
woman's effort to get ber into a discussion concerning 
Edric. 

"Don't you? " 

"Well, I don't know," said Thatah. "I can't help 
thinking it might make me feel awfully old, and make 
me realize that I ought to have gotten married myself." 

Mrs. Costello ignored her latter remark, and went on 
to say that she tbou^t one could get » great deal of 

DolizodbyGoOgle 



Hagar RewUg M7 

pleasure seeing a baby grow up and go through all the 
processes of age. 

" Well," 'Hiatah replied, " I had a conversation with 
Mme. Heppy yesterday — you know her, she sings in 
Wagnerian Opera — and I asked her if she didn't get a 
lot of pleasure from her two children. Her reply startled 
me." 

"What did she sayp" asked the Spanish woman. 

" That she couldn't help acknowledging that she dis- 
liked seeing her children grow up. ' I see my children 
living the life I should like to live myself,* she said; 
* and I can't confess anything else. I love them, but 
when I see my oldest so happy and gay, when she calls 
me mother — well — it hurts me, because I'd like to be 
doing that myself.' " 

" She's a bad woman to talk like that," added some 
one near the professor. 

" I don't think so," said Thatah. " I believe I'd feel 
the same way." 

"Ilien why did you adopt a child?" 

"Oh — I suppose to see if my surmises were right. 
Then I think every woman should have a child — before 
she is thirty, anyway. I didn't want to be left out." 

That she shouldn't have made such a careless, at ran- 
dom statement, Thatah realized, when her words met with 
an incomprehensible silence. But she minded very little ; 
the same sinister glances, the same unsaid words had 
been exchanged at that hoard for months; she had al- 
ways longed for some phrase, some sentence, that would 
shock them. Many times she had run upstairs ^eefully, 
when her words had brou^t about the desired effect. 

" You must not say such things, Thatah," her father 
would exclaim. " We live here, and these people are 
fools." 

" Oh, I can't help it, father," she would antwer. 



MS Hagar RtveUff 

The seed of auapicion was being planted deeply nov. 
Before, Thatah had always been so quiet, aever going 
out, living the life of a recluse. And now that she smQed 
and was happy, they decided that a hidden reason was 
the cause for this change in her. Formerly when she was 
very quiet, they had cast about for explanation, only to 
be piqued by their continuous fruitless search. Now it 
was with satisfaction that they began to probe something 
that gave them a return. 

In the minds of those in the bouse that interested them- 
selves about it, there was a complete chain of incidents 
to work upon. Surely the baby was the secret of it all 
— and niji^t after night they went about the house asking 
of themselves why it was that a girl her age should indulge 
in so maternal a pastime, and what they should do about 
it 

One evening a few weeks later, Mrs. Costello stopped 
Tl^tah in the hallway and asked her directly, the name of 
the Foundling Institution from which Thatah had pro- 
cured the infant. 

The girl was taken completely by surprise. 

** Why — the St Vincent's Asylum," she managed to 
say at last. 

** I was just wondering," explained Mrs. Costello ; " a 
friend of mine was thinking of doing the same thing." 

There was a whispered council held in the drawing-room 
that night between Mrs. Neer and the poetess. 

** I tell you she got as pale as a sheet ! " 

" What did you ask her? " whispered Mrs. Neer. 

The woman told her. 

" Did she answer you right off? " 

" Right off? Why, she fumbled around for a full min- 
ute. You bet she never got that child at a Foundling 
Asylum ! " 

*• Then what do you think? " 

L ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



Hagar ReoeUy ff89 

" I don't know. She was gone for nearlj three mootha 
on her pontion, as she said. Still, would that make it? " 

" You don't believe — ? " 

" It's hard to tell ; there's something wrong." 

" Well, I'm going to find out at St. Vincent's. It's the 
only way.** 

" Yes, you do that," emphasized Mrs. Neer. " I won't 
have the respectability of this place spoiled." 

" It is for that reason I told you." 

For a few days the embers lay smothering, though with 
every mood of Thatah, every word that escaped her lipt, 
there wa^ added a few more coals to the heap. Sig- 
nificance was given now to her fondness for the child. 

" How could she become so excited over it, if it wasn't 
her own," was asked of Mrs. Neer, 

And then Mrs. Costello could find no record of the 
child at the Asylum. 

It ended by Mrs. Neer voicing her suspicions and that 
of the boarders, to the professor. 

" I feel compelled to talk to you. Professor Revelly," 
she said to him one evening, " about a matter, a very 
serious matter that has been given a great deal of serious 
attention before I come to you. As you know I have 
some people with me, who, although they may not be 
blessed by any great amount of worldly goods, yet who 
are nevertheless, highly respectable, and whose respecta- 
bility, it is my duty to protect. As you know, Mrs. Cos- 
tello was bom of a fairly near connection with the Royal 
Family of Spain — " 

He interrupted her. " Tell me what it is you wish to 
say to me," he said impatiently. 

"Well, professor, it is very difficult, since it is about 
your dau^ter — " 

" My daughter ! " 

** Yes, the knowledge of what I am going to mt Ium 



S90 Bagar Seodtf/ 

been quite as hard for as to bear, as it is for me to tell 
jou. But I feel that I must do it to protect my house- 
hold. Of course if I were living alone it would be a dif- 
ferent thing. I'd just saj to them, * mind yoar own 
business.' " 

** What do you want to know about my daughter? " 
he now demanded, with all the nervous, explosive energy 
that had accumulated during her speech. 

" Well — we thinlc that she — that she is not the same 
woman she was when she left you.'* 

He was puzzled. 

" When she left me," he repeated ; " she was no more 
than a baby." He was indeed thinking of Hagar. That 
it was Thatah of whom she was speaking never entered 
his mind. Anything unusual about her was too remote to 
consider. 

" How did you know of Hagar? " he asked bewildered. 
** Tell me quick, tell me how you know about her, and 
what she has done ? " 

It was Mrs. "Seer's turn now for confusion. 

" Why, professor, I was speaking of Thatah, your 
daughter. I didn't know you had another child." 

" You are talking of Thatah? " he exclaimed. 

" Yes, when she was away for three months." 

He looked at her, utterly unable to comprehend her 
words. 

*< And now she brings into the house a baby." 

"Well?" 

" Well, you know how people talk. Right at the first 
they asked me about it, and I told them that Thatah had 
the right to adopt a child if she wanted to. Then of 
course, the baby was a good deal older, which I told them ; 
but they tried to convince me that perhaps we hadnt 
watched — " 

"Go ahead," he demanded fiercdy. ,. , 

,l,z<,i:,.,L-'OOglf 



Hagar RevOljf X9l 

" Wdl, then, they pointed out that jou were too poor 
to indulge in anything like that. They gaid there was 
something queer about it. Of course, I didn't believe 
them, never have, really. But you see my position." 

He looked at her, smiling faintly. 

" My dear Mrs. Neer," he asked, " what is it you want 
me to doP " 

" We want — oh, it's so bard to say it, professor — 
but we want to know — who — rather- — if Miss Thatah 
is married?" 

" Ach," he exclaimed, " you speak in metaphors. I 
don't follow you. You want to know if Thatah is mar- 
ried? " He laughed sadly. "No, poor dear, she is not 
married, but what do you want to know for? You think 
the child is hers? And you vronder why the father never 
comes. Yes? Am I right?" 

** You are yety right," she answered, straightening her 
shoulders for the ordeal she supposed would follow. 

For a long time he was lost in deep thought. 

Then he began slowly : " My daughter has adopted the 
iittle fellow. It has pleased her to do so, and as she is 
of an age where she can use her own mind and spend her 
own money, I make no objection to it. She pays for the 
nurse girl, I do not. Is there anything else? " be asked, 
arising from his chair. 

But Mrs. Neer remained seated. 

" Do you know where she adopted the child ? " Her 
lipe set into hard lines. 

" Why, Thatah said — I believe I've forgotten." He 
searched bis mind for recollection of the time Thatah in- 
formed him that she had learned of a child in one of the 
Asylums and intended adopting it. 

His hesitation encouraged Mrs. Neer. 

" You don't know, do you ? " She gave a little mock- 
ing laugh. " Of course not. I guess she's fooled you 



S9C Hagar ReveUy 

too, professor. Well, I can tell you the name of the 
place she gave Mrs. Costello.** 

"And what of that?" 

" Onlj that they don't know anything about it, at the 
place she told us — St. Vincent's." 

Now the name came back to him. 

" Yes," be said, " that was the name she told me the 
other day." He looked at her fully in the face. With 
some satisfaction she perceived that he was becoming 
aroused. " You asked her, and she told you St. Vin- 
cent's," he went on, " and they don't know anything 
about it there?" 

" Yes. And to make it sure, we — or rather, the party 
who went, got the names of the only other two institu- 
tions where there was any resemblance of the names. 
And she got the same information at these places, too. 

*' Why, no one ever adopted a child from any of these 
places during the week she brought Edric here. So you 
see, professor, the situation that confronts me. It paina 
me so much, but — " she hesitated. 

"But what?" 

" — but I must ask you — you to leave — unless Miss 
Thatah can offer some explanation that is satisfactory to 
us. I am sure you understand. It protects you and 
her as well as it does us." 

That night Revelly confronted lliatah with a recount 
of the interview. And as the girl sat forlornly in front 
of him, he mistook her anguish for wrath, and begged her 
to go to them and tell them their mistake. " You've 
got to, Thatah," he begged. 

Then he asked her why they couldn't find any record 
at St. Vincent's. 

From anger and vindictiveness, her mind now answered 
more quickly than her lips. 

" I didn't get Edric at St. Vincent's/* she said hotly. 



Hagar RneUy S9S 

" Then whj idid you say that ? " he begged id surprise. 

" I told them that because they were so inquisitive and 
suspicious. I vould have told them the police station if 
I had thought of it, I hate them so." 

"Thatah!" 

"Yes — t" 

" Thee you didn't get Edric at St, Vincent's ? " 

" No, I didn't." 

" Then where did you get him ? " 

" I won't tell." 

She answered quietly, and added after a moment's 
thought, " nor will I ever." 

" You must tell me," he demanded. " I can tell them." 

Thatah looked at her father with fast dimming eyes. 

" Father, please don't ask me," she begged. 

" You refuse to tell me," he cried, greatly bewildered. 

" I — I — I can't tell anyone," she replied in a voice 
that wavered. 

Revelly grasped her hands. " My God — ! Do you 
Imow what they are saying P They say that you are the 
mother and that we must leave the premises.** 

Thatah was overwhelmed by his statement. 

" They say that ! " she cried in anger. " They say 
that I'm the mother P Good Heavens!" 

" Yes, lliatah, they say that. And you must teU them, 
therefore, where you got it. This thing must be proven." 

In that moment all the possibility of her position came 
vividly before Thatah. She saw that she must think 
quickly, even calmly — and then a queer feeling came into 
her head. 

" Father, come, I feel sick. Ill tell you in a moment," 
she said, sinking into a chair. 

As she sat there, staring at her father, she searched 

her mind frantically. Could she tell him the truth? 

Surely not. Even though she break her promise to Ha- 

_,..■ . t'.OO'MC 



SM Hagar RmeUy 

gar, the news mi^t cause his collapse in his wont con- 
dition. Thouj^ he never meDtiooed Hagar to her, jet she 
knew the place Hagar had in his regard. Had she not 
noticed that he mentioned Hagar's name with a little busH 
and reverence in his voice. For him Hagar was the last 
dierished memory of the past, and he clung tenaciously 
to that last remnant. 

Thatah recalled how he had taken a picture of the 
girl from his trunk and put it on his bureau. She re- 
membered how he would often look at it. And now to 
herself she moaned, " Oh, \ can't tell the truth — I can't. 
She is the youngest. It would kill him.** 

Her father was studying her closely. 

" You've thou^t long enough," he said hotly. " Now 
tell me." He grasped her arm a bit rou^ily, as if to 
awaken her to action. 

" I can't, father," she confessed at last. A great lump 
rose in her throat. " I can't tell them — or you." 

Revelly walked away from her, his hands clasping and 
unclasping at his back. At last he stopped and with his 
back still to her, said to the bare walls, " You hear, it's 
true, it's true — oh, my God ! " 

His senses seemed to give way entirely. Everything 
pointed to the justification of their accusation. He saw 
that he had been taken in, by his own daughter. His 
mind was flooded by proofs. Thatah was now making 
less than twenty dollars a week, yet she was willing to 
pay four dollars out of that sum for a nurse who stayed 
with the child. Why had he not thought to question her 
about that ! 

Perceiving the anguish that lay plainly evidenced in 
his countenance, Thatah went to him and put her arms 
around his neck, and said: 

" Father, for pity's sake, listen to me ! Don't make 
this thing so serious. I can't tell you, I wish I could. 

L ,l,z<»i:,.,C00gIf 



Hagar RvoeUy 296 

I promised — I promised the woman I would not tell. I 
dare not break that. Oh, please — please — believe me ! " 

And in turn Revelly pleaded with her not to sacrifice 
the other woman for their future' happiness. " Think 
what it means if you don't explain. They will say that 
their convictions are right. We will have to leave.*' 

" I can't — father — I can't," she begged. 

" 'Hien you care more for this — other woman — than 
you do for me — than you do for yourself? " 

**0h, I don't know. Don't ask me.*' 

For some time he pleaded with her, and then as he re- 
alized she would not give in, he turned from her, and 
left her alone for some minutes. When he did speak, his 
words choked with anger. 

" I can't believe that you are so foolish," he said. 
" However " — and now his lips were drawn tight — " you 
know your own plans best. You will either have to share 
the secret with me along with everything dse — that — 
or else go your own way." 

She ran to his aide. " Oh, father, don't say that ! 
You don't know what I'd go through for you ■ — or have 
gone through. Please don't say that ! " 

She could see the lerrible, strange gaze creeping back 
into his eyes. 

" I don't want you to leave," he said sternly, though 
a bit broken ; " but I won't harbor such a misdeed. I can 
only believe now that you are keeping something from me, 
Thatah. You've told me so little about your work this 
summer." He was silent for a time. " And you've been 
so queer, so unusual, since taking the chOd. Won't you 
tell me? " 

** I tell you they are wrong. I can't tell you any more, 
father," she cried. 

" Well, we will have to leave here, and wherever we went 
it would be the same. One boarding house is like another. 



t96 Hagar ReveUy 

And my pupOs — if thej heard, or their parents heard, 
do you suppose they would be allowed to come to these 

Thatah rose from the chair. 

" Enough, father, 111 go — so you can stay," she said- 
" 111 get things fixed up and leave in a few days, with 
Edric." Her eyes were dry and her voice dull. 

At the end of the week, under a fusillade of glances 
from behind closed shutters, Thatah moved her few be- 
longings out of the house, and with Edric who was now 
creeping merrily in a vain effort to gain bis unsteady 
feet, she rented a room in a lod^g house on Fifty- 
seventh Street. . . . 

It was when the express wagon was out of sight that 
Mrs. Costello rushed to Professor Revelly's room with the 
desire to unload some words of sympathy. 

But her knock was answered by a mumbled oath from 
within ; she could hear his restless pacing across the floor 
of the room. 

So she stole downstairs, guiltily fearing that some one 
would see her and think that she had weakened or had 
sought forgiveness from the father. 

It was only three days, however, before Thatah was 
called hack from her new boarding place. Her father 
bad become seriously iU. 

And at the end of a week of suffering, the sick man 
became too weak to leave his bed. Thatah stayed con- 
stantly by his side, watching, and praying that her fears 
were groundless. But the doctor came each day and 
pointed out to her further signs of dissolution, and the 
sobbing and shaking girl was soon barely able to keep up 
under her load. 

It seemed to her, as she watched the shrunken figure 
in the bed, that she were in some trance, and all that was 
happening, only a dream; hut it seemed a trance which 



Hagar RevtUg 9Srt 

left her in full possession of her senses and made her 
realize the painful circumstances even more keenly. 

An unusual part of his illness was that between the 
dehriums, his mind would be very clear. And then his 
words, full of sacbess and disappointment, would further 
rend the feelings of the ^rl at his bedside, although he 
never mentioned the incident that had driven her from 

" Do you remember, lliatah, when I used to carry you 
OB my shoulder?" he would ask. 

Thatah could not speak, her heart too full of unhap- 
piness. She could only take his vein-ridden hand and 
press it, feeling that she dare not answer him, for fear of 
weakening and betraying her emotions. 

Often he spoke of his favorite Heine, seeming to liken 
his own life to that of the dead poet. One afternoon, 
when the hght from the setting sun came into the room 
and gave it a queer appearance of mingled shadows and 
high hghts, he quoted to her the last lines of the " Enfant 
Perdu." 

" Bnt I have fallen unvanqoislied — sword unbroken, 
The only thing that's twoken is my heart." 

Then he looked up, exclaiming: "Oh, Thatah, how 
true that is." 

She could scarcely breathe, a great sense of constric- 
tion coming into her throat, whUe the tears ran down her 
cheeks. 

He perceived her unhappiness, and said, " No, no, Tha- 
tah. You have youth yet, child. You must not be un- 
happy." 

Thatah made an effort at smiling and wiped away her 
tears, at the same time, saying in a low voice : " Oh, I 
am not unhappy, father. But you must get well, you 
must, you must ! " 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



S98 Hagar Rmdip 

He answered, half to himBelf: "Ob, what does it all 
amount toP Everything ends in nothing, everything is 
empty, futile, at the end." 

At another time, a few evenings later, she came into the 
room to find him staring at the ceiling, and muttering 
aloud. She ran up to him crying: *' Please, father, 
please — ** 

But he went on speaking, seemingly unaware that she 
was listening to him, although he directed his words en- 
tirely tti her. For the first time, he seemed dazed. There 
were tears in his eyes. 

*' Yes, I know hfe," he said, shaking his head, as sh^ 
tried to stop him. " Yes, I know how we fool ourselves 
over it, how we expect and build and believe, knowing full 
well that we have nothing to do with our destiny.** 

Though he spoke slowly, laboriously, and each effort 
appeared to take all his strength, he kept on, and nothing 
that Thatfih could do would divert his attention. 

The sunlight had slowly disappeared from the room, 
leaving his gaunt face in a veil-like shadow. Thatah 
could not look at him and eat with her face to the wall, 
while she clasped his hand. 

" We are constructed to live out a certain period of 
years, if all goes well, Thatah," he kept on feebly. " Yes, 
it's unalterable. Even then it would not be so bad, if a 
mind had not been given us; but we have placed within 
us a propensity for feeling and experiencing emotions. 
Yes, that is the great wrong." 

"Please, please, quiet yourself. You need this 
strength," Thatah begged. 

His voice was weak and the hands that lay in Thatah's, 
trembled with every breath. However, he seemed deter- 
mined to word his thou^ts. 

" The normal state should be happiness," he whispered. 
" We should all be free beings — to breathe and eigoy — 

,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



Hagar RewBg SM 

and sing the song of life. Yea, that's the way it ought 
to be. But the abnormal state is happiness — and we 
can onlj measure it — by the contrast — bom of our 
misery." 

" Please, father, don't trouble so." 

He was speaking from his very depths, his hands shak- 
ing, his lips quivering, his eyes closed. 

" You have been so unhappy, all your life, father,*' 
pleaded Thatah. " Please, don't let me see you this way 
now." 

He searched for her hand along the border of the whit^ 
sheet and when at last he had found it, a sigh escaped 
from bis lips. 

" Yes, I am going to die," be breathed, nearly inaudibly. 
The words brought to Thatah's aching heart a fresh 
tumult of agony. 

Although he was suffering intense physical pain, his 
agony of mind was manifestly greater. And she labored 
gallantly to soothe him into a state of greater calm. 

It was only after night had brought its darker shadows 
into the room that she was able to quiet him, and could 
go Into the small room that was temporarily her own 
again, for a few hours of sleep. 

The professor rested better the next few days and Tha- 
tab became more encouraged. It seemed that her coming 
had given him added strength. 

Then the disease began to attack afresh his non-r^ 
sistant organisms; the anasarca became more noticeably 
apparent, the cedema infiltrated into the lower lids, until 
they looked like little sacks; his entire shrunken frame 
spoke of fast ebbing vitality. 

On the twelfth day after be had taken to his bed, Eman 
Rerelly died. 



DoiizodbvCoogle 



CHAPTER XXm 

Haoak's feeling of ecstasy in her first month ot the new 
position soon passed into the second month, when her in- 
terest waned — the third bored her altogether, even 
though she had success in her sales. 

The very things which had at first been so pleasant, 
now bothered her. After the weeks of turmoil and heart 
stress she had endured, the petty gossip of the girls be- 
hind the counter had come Uke some sweet music to her. 
They were welcoming chimes that spoke of quiet and 
peace. 

But her previous soul weariness and fathoming into 
the depths had played their part. She quickly became 
dull and stupid, and soon found herself fairly ashamed to 
look into the eyes of a customer. 

A rebellion arose in her now. Why should she be wait- 
ing on people, talking re.spectfuUy and courteously to 
them P Who were they that she should act like their serv- 
ant? 

One day she was openly insulted. A dark woman, at- 
tired in a rich crimson broad-cloth, swept into the aisle, 
and stopped at her counter. 

" Tell me, Mary," said the woman, looking at Hagar ; 
"where are the laces?" 

" That way," answered Hagar, pointing to a distant 
counter, and then adding a little angrily ; '* however, my 
name isn't Mary ! " 

The woman looked at her, " Such impertinence," she 
gasped. 

*» D,a,l,z.dbvG00gIe 



Bagar ReveUy SOI 

Then Hagar saw her edge off in a flustering indigna- 
tion to hont up the floor wallcer. 

It aroused Hagar tremendously, and she had to figbt 
hard to keep from leaving her position back of the counter 
and confronting the woman. 

'Hie metamorphosis in Hagar took place gradually, 
during the weeks that followed. When a well-dressed 
woman approached her, immediately she became absorbed 
io a contemplation of the gown that adorned her patron, 
eren to the neglect of the customer's wishes; if the little 
woman who worked at her side spoke to her, she answered 
with coldness and disdain. 

At the beginning of the third month, the manager had 
spoken to her three times, regarding her lack of polite- 
ness. 

She became abnoimally quiet, as the weeks went on, as 
though she were always thinking deeply. When people 
talked to her, a queer little smile pirouetted about her full 
lips; if she laughed sometimes it was a laugh that was 
vague and unfathomable, with a ring of derision in it. It 
was as if she had battled with giants and was now looking 
upon their prostrated forms and pitying titeir weakness. 

If ever she talked to those around, there was something 
savage in her words. Had she been less pretty, they 
would have called it plain anger. As it was, they found 
mystery and romance in her bitterness. 

Another and greater change took place in her. No 
more did she become excited or have strange throhbings 
in her heart ; not even when, one day, she nearly ran into 
Greenfield in front of the store. She simply sulked into 
the crowd that was watching a display in the show win- 
dows, and became one of the conglomerate mass until he 
had passed. 

Often there crept into her thou^ts, a question that 
begged for the reason of this peculiar change in her. It 



SOS Hagar RtveUy 

seemed that somethiDg had gripped her heart and held it 
away from her realler feelings. She found that she could 
understand the hidden meanings in every word of hypoc- 
risy which came to her ears. When men glanced at her 
now, she read their thoughts. There was no more a feel- 
ing of elation when people talked kindly to her. She only 
reasoned that the kind words were of very little material 
use, the way the world goes on. Almost uncanny was 
she now in her ability to discard everything but what 
would teach her something or make her more wise and ex- 
perienced. 

In only a few months did she seem to have come from 
her youthful innocence into a woman of the world. And 
though her eyes were quite as limpid, her mouth just as 
virginal and youthful, there was in her mind a wild clamor- 
ing, a relentless searching for more and greater gifts from 
life. 

Always waiting for something to happen, hoping eter- 
nally, but silently, and never confiding the slightest con- 
fidence to anyone, she lay in bed each morning, with the 
sun streaming in upon her from between the slits in the 
shutters, asking that the something happen that day ; and 
when the day was over, and the vague thing that would 
stimulate her had not made known its presence, she would 
go home, resigned, saddened a little, but waiting for the 
morrow. 

It was fortunate that her charming manner did not so 
easily desert her, although it may have been a pose on 
her part. When she was away from the store and people, 
and alone in her little room at the boarding house, there 
would be some minutes when she became hard yisaged, and 
her countenance would gain the appearance of some caged 
animal — of an animal who, as he walks up and down be- 
hind the steel bars, peers out enigmatically into the faces 
of the crowd before it. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar ReoeUy SOS 

But in her eyes there still lurked the expression of 
dormant passion so tremendously attractive. It continued 
to be part of the mysterious veil of beauty that fascinated 
anyone with whom she came in contact, just as her voice 
retained the dulcet music that spoke of yearning and in- 
nocence. 

One ni^ht she passed the Belaaco Theatre. A desire 
to eat alone, downtown, instead of sharing the board at 
home, kept her until nearly eight o'clock. Then, her 
umbrella in hand (the weather had warmed suddenly and 
settled into a fine drizzle), she wandered up Sixth Avenue 
and over past Broadway. When she came to the broad 
passage way in front of the theatre, with all the carriages 
and automobiles pouring out their well-dreesed occupants, 
she drew back into the shadow of the gallery door. 

A long time had it been since she bad witnessed such 
gaiety, emblazoned by silks and jewels, and she stood 
quietly, observing closely the people that walked by. 
Once, as an elegantly gowned woman passed her, she un- 
consciously looked down onto the frayed edge of her own 
coat sleeve — and suddenly remembered how poor she was 
and that she was not of this world of silks and jewels. 

Just missing by an inch the slanting mist as it came 
down onto the sidewalk, Hagar became filled with a feeling 
of utter resentment. The ugly facies buried in their 
ropes of pearls taunted her, the sheen of their silks, that 
covered the many illy-formed ankles, made her feel like 
running out and showing them her own well-rounded 
limbs. 

She half whispered to herself that they had no more 
right to the fine clothes than she. Hadn't she known 
depths to which they would never descend ; hadn't she suf- 
fered, loved; was not her face quite as pretty, if not 
prettier than any one of those who stepped from the au- 
tomobiles and carriages? 

DiailizodbvLiOOgle 



804 Hagar ReveUy 

Involuntarily she grasped ftt the little lace piece about 
her collar. It was stiff and coarse. But no wonder — 
did she not have to pay full price now for such things? 
When she was with Greenfield — she remembered the box 
of silk stockings he had presented to her. Why, she could 
be as richly dressed, as these people, if she wished it. The 
thought brought back a little of her proud spirit. 

That night, Hagar sat on the edge of her quilted bed 
and for nearly the first time, carefully manicured her 
nails — until it was long past midnight. 

-It was a difficult task for Hagar to stay at her work, 
after that night in front of the Belasco Theatre. She 
could not quite account for it, except that it seemed such 
a waste of time and energy to be working for a few dol- 
lars a week and such a hardship to be kind to the patrons, 
when none of the money came into her own pocket. 

One Monday morning she was insolent to one of the 
store detectives who came to her disguised as a shopper. 
And that aftemoop a little red-faced woman, took her 
place beside Hagar, and Mr. Mathering, the head of the 
department, notified her that she was to " break in " the 
little woman, then call for her pay. 

On the first of the month Hagar found herself without 
a position, and utterly without knowledge of any posi- 
tion that might please her. But it really bothered her 
very little. 

A few months before, childish innocence might have 
compelled Hagar to suffer deeply from her present cir- 
cumstance. 

It was indeed different now. Instead of giving in and 
sitting in her room, to brood over her luck, she became 
more determined and resolute than ever in her life. 

Fixing up the little brown tailor-made suit she had 
saved from the past, she spent the whole evening in mend- 
ing and pressing it ; and then sallied into the bright sun- 



Hagar ReceUy 805 

light the next morning, with the mood of a butterfly which 
had juBt come from out its chrysalis. 

True, she realized what might happen if she were im- 
Buccessful in obtaining the position she wanted. 

But oi one thing she wa3 certain. No matter in what 
straits she found herself, she would not again accept a 
position in a department store. There was so little chance 
for advancement there, and so very little opportunity for 
excitement. 

It was excitement she craved after all, Hagar now re- 
alized. How foolish she had been not to know that be- 
fore, how idiotic she had been when listening to those 
cooing words of Herrick, and thinking that the earning 
of eight dollars a week was the road to riches and success. 

Many plans swept throu^ Hagar as she stepped 
blithely down the poverty worn stair's carpet that led to 
the street vestibule. She would not be a fool again. She 
was free. Thatah had been fool enou^ to burden herself 
with the Herrick's off-spring; so much more reason was 
there that she should not be a fool, too. 

Hagar thought of the places that she might visit in 
search for a position. Of course, Greenfield would take 
her back — but she remembered his conditions. And then 
she would not again do department store work, anyway. 

At noon she stopped to rest against a counter at Alt- 
man's. By her side stood a young woman, who was deep 
in the purchase of some silk stockings. Absorbed with 
her own thoughts, Hagar gave her very little attention 
until by instinct, her attention was attracted to the par- 
chaser. 

The yonng wonuut said t6 the girl back of the counter: 
" Send them up to the Hotel Astor, right away. I want 
to wear them to-night." Then a sudden thought made 
her diange her mind and she directed that the parcel be 
sent to the stage door of the Casino. 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,GOOglf 



000 Hagar ReveUy 

" Oh, are jou an actress? " Hagar heard the girl ask 
with admiration. 

The actress answered, very patronizingly, " Yes, child." 

Immediately after she left the counter, Hagar ques- 
tioned the salesgirl. 

" What was her name? " asked Hagar. 

**You mean the woman that just leftp" 

Hagar nodded. 

"Giee, she was a beauty, wasnH she?" the girl com- 
mented, and then looked on her order slip. 

" Helene Travers, that's her," said the girl in a mo- 
ment, 

Hagar was at the little box office window of the Casino 
Theatre, quite before she realized that something more 
crucial demanded her attention than following up a bit 
of curiosity. But there seemed so little else for her to 
do. Four want columns had failed to show anything that 
enticed her. 

" I just wanted a programme," she told the ticket man. 
" Pye got a friend in the show." 

Out in the street again, she read in very smaU print, 
under the sub-title — " Waitresses in Restaurant," third 
act; the name — " Helene Travers." 

" And she lives at the Astor," thought Hagar. " A 
charge account and living at the Hotel Astor 1 " 

As Hagar thought over it she wondered if it would not 
be an adventure to seek employment at some theatrical 
agency, telling herself quite seriously that she would be 
willing to take a very small salary for a few weeks until 
she could learn about the work. 

A dozen times she asked herself, as she walked down the 
street, " I wonder if I could do it." 

By the time she had reached Forty-second Street, she 
had bought an Evening Telegram, and managed to find 

DiailizodbvGoOgle 



Hagar ReoeUy 807 

the name of a haU on Sixth Avenue, where " Girls were 
wanted for a new Broadwaj success." 

It was an fulventure indeed, and she felt quite gay and 
light-hearted as she bunted for the address. She was not 
at Eill aware that no reputable management obtained girls 
in this manner. 

The hall was over a drug store and after climbing up 
three flights of stairs, she entered a long narrow room 
filled with people and tobacco smoke. At the farthest 
end were congregated about twenty men and women in a 
group, chatting and laughing, while at the end nearest 
the door behind a dilapidated Japanese screen, sat a man, 
coatless and sleeves rolled up, busily engaged in interview- 
ing two young women who confronted him. 

Talcing him to be the manager, from the pompous man- 
ner in which he talked, Hagar decided to quietly stand 
by their side until she could speak to him. Her heart was 
giving queer little jumps and as she heard the questions 
he asked of the girls, she was actually too startled to 
move. 

"What have you doneP 

"Your last engagement? 

♦* Stand off over there. 

"Let's see your legs? " 

Then she turned and fled precipitously down the wooden 
stairs. 

" Oh, my Lord ! " she muttered to herself. " Oh, my 
Lord ! " 

Buried in troublesome thought, Hagar entered a drug 
store and was at the telephone before she was really aware 
that it was Greenfield to whom she was calling in her mo- 
ment of distress. 

" Give me Chelsea 68181," she called in a trembling 



DoiizodbvCoogle 



j)08 Hagar ReveUy 

All too soon she recognized the voice of the central at 
Rheinchild'0. 

She half whispered. "I — I want to apeak — tq Mr. 
Greenfidd." 

The small voice came back. " Out to lunch. Back 
at two — good-bye." 

How she thanked Heaven for the respite, aa she hung 
up the receiver. 

But when she called again and had him on tbe wire* 
her heart pounded as treacherously as ever, though she 
was somewhat reassured by the kindness of his voice. It 
seemed so good to hear him again. 

*' Well, well, Hagar," she heard him say. She could 
quite distinguish the surprise and wonder in his words. 

" Yes, it is Hagar," she answered. And then, *' Oh, 
Mr. Greenfield, I didn't want to see you again — but I 
can't help it. I'm — I'm out of a joh — that's all I want 
to see you about. Can I have back the guide jobP" 

" Wdl, well, well," his voice came back, so soft and 
comforting. 

There was a silence. 

"What's the matter?" she begged. 

" Come over and see me ri^t away, childi" he repliecl. 

She hesitated. Stand before him again, face to face! 
How could sheP 

But hadn't she believed that she must do that sooner 
or later? 

" What time will you be here? ** he asked, 

" I can come right away. Vm not working to-day.** 

For fear that her voice would weaken at the last mo- 
ment and betray her feelings, she quickly hung up tbe 
receiver, and then regretted her abrupt ending of their 
talk. 

In the ladies' dressing room at the Knickerbocker Hotel, 
■he sat down for a few minutes to collect her thoughts. 



Hagar RmeUy 809 

For the first time abe asked herself what she was doing. 
Was she returning to Greenfield to really get back her 
position as guide? After all, was there not a little un- 
truth in that? And would he approach her again upon 
the old BuhjectP 

A bit of lip rouge and a dab of powder made her feel 
braver, and the kind smile of the woman in charge gave 
her more assurance. 

Yet when she entered the great, huge entrance of Bhein- 
child's, she felt stiff and cold — as though she were in a 
trance. 

'* Where — where is Mr. Greenfield's office now ? " she 
asked of the btonde-haired starter of the elevators. 

The man looked at her : " Sixth floor, lady. What do 
you — " Then he recognized her. " Oh, the same as 
always," he added. 

And somehow, his word of recognition gave faer a certain 
feeling of intimacy, that braved her in much the same 
manner as had the smile of the lady in the dressing room. 

The elevator man could not know how crucial was his 
smile, and how her heart was beating as she walked into 
the mirrowed cage. 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER XXIV 

She was before Greenfield, holding his hand. She told 
herself that he was better looking now than when she had 
known him before; he seemed to have more color in his 
face. But she felt disappointed when she saw his 
clothes fitted him less snugly, and that he seemed to be 
careless in the way his hair was combed. His nails were 
unmanicured, too, and bis shoes were dull and streaky, 

Hagar was coming in for a like examination at his hands 
and the while he realized she was studying him, Greenfield 
told himself this little woman had suffered since he 
had last seen her ; that she was more calm and experienced 
looking. 

Greenfield held her hand for a long time before saying 
anything. 

At last, very softly, even wistfully, as if a year of long- 
ing lay wrapped in his words, he said : " So, Hagar — 
you are backP " 

*' Yes, I should like to have my old position back, if 
possible, Mr. Greenfield." Noticing that he was wilUng 
to let her go on, she added : " To-day, I didn't think I 
wanted to work in a department store again — but I think 
I'd take back my old position." 

She stood quietly in front of him, feeling that it would 
be poor policy to say anything further until he spoke. 

Greenfield was playing with a httle paper knife on his 
desk. 

" What*8 the matter? " asked Hagar. 

Smiling faintly, he turned to her. " Sit down, Hagar, 
won't you? " 



Hagar ReveUy Sll 

She took the chair he offered her. 

** Well, I'm awfully glad to aee you, little prl,** he said. 

It was a relief for her to bear him speak. 

He repeated again, *' Awfully glad." 

At that momeut Hagar wished that she could ask 
him . about the year that had passed, and if he had 
been well and having a good time. However, something 
seemed to keep her from showing that she had given him 
a thought in that time. " Then I could have my position 
back P " was all she could say. Without answer, Green- 
field continued to look at her in his queer searching way. 
She wondered if he knew what had happened to her and 
had heard in some way of her past trouble. She even felt 
that it would be best to tell him everything before he had 
a chance to ask her. 

Then he spoke, and although his words brought little 
encouragement, yet she felt very happy to know that he 
was totally unaware of the details of her woeful expe- 
riences. 

" I'm afraid, Hagar," he began, " that you can't have 
the position — that is, I don't believe I could fix it offhand. 
Maybe — in time ; but there is another girl in the position 
now — she's bad it since you left, and as she is fairly 
satisfactory to the firm, I couldn't — well, you undei^ 
stand, Hagar, don't youF " 

He looked op at her. She hardly knew how to 
answer. 

" Well, I'm sorry," she mastered at last. 

She hod never thought of this contingency. 

" But don't be unhappy," he came hack with a smile. 
** I am still as fond of you as ever." 

Quite before she thought, she said : ** Pm awfully 
glad." 

"Are you, Hagar?" he asked, as he looked at her 
tteadily. 

DiailizodbvCiOOgle 



SIX Hagar ReveUy 

She thought that after all it would not be so difficult to 
get back her position. 

Soon be leaned over to her, and grasped her bands im- 
petuously, saying, once or twice, " Hagar, girl, I'm glad 
to see you." 

Then he aat back in his chotr. 

" Where are jou working nowP *' 

"Why, I — was at Macy's." 

** Don't you like it there? " 

** Oh, I don't know. I want something different. The 
girls there get on mj nerves. And then," she looked down 
at a little bole showing itself in her kid gloves, " I 
want more, something — I guess I can't explain it, only 
— well, I know I just can't stand back of a counter any 
more." 

As he remained silent, she added : " I guess I am getting 
a little older." 

Greenfield said very softly, " I understand, Hagar." 

She noticed that his words were kind and gentle, and 
that he was smiling. 

Then she cast her eyes upon the floor, waiting for him 
to say something. When she looked up, the smile was 
still on his face. 

" Well, I guess I'd better be going," she exclaimed, rest- 
lessly, and arose from her chair. 

He arose with her, and extended his hand. " I'm sorry, 
Hagar, that I haven't anything at the present time," 
When he patted her hand and wrists, there seemed real 
affection in his words. " Really, I am sorry, dear little 
Hagar. But 111 let you know if there is any chance. 
Will JOU step in to see me in a few days? '* 

She replied very earnestly, " Yes, I'd be glad to." 

As she was walking through the door, he asked very 
casually, " Where did you say you were living? ** 

Hagar gave him her address, wondering if she would 

,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



Hagar ReveUff 313 

have to explain how she came to be living in s new place. 
Then ahe sav him studying the name on the card. 

'* Yes, I UBe Mrs. Kennedy as a name now," she laughed 
lightly. 

He gave a start. " Why, Hagar, you are not 
married? " 

She laughed. " Good heavens, no. I only do that so 
— well, so they won't think it's funny because I stay in so 
much.*' 

"Oh, I see,** he answered; and then, more seriously, 
" All right, I'll remember, Mrs. — Kennedy." 

They both went to the door lau^ng, for no apparent 
reason. 

And Hagar was out in the hall already, and walking 
rapidly toward the elevator, when she heard Greenfield call 
her name. Looking back, she saw him still standing in the 
doorway. 

When she had come nearer to him, he asked: 

" What are you doing to-night, Hagarp Do you want 
to take dinner with me? " 

A world of thought swept over her in that instant. So 
be did want her after all ! 

" Why, I'm sorry" — she stumbled on each word — 
** I've got an engagement for dinner to-night." 

Her knees trembled, and he seemed to be standing there 
looking at her, enveloped in a queer sort of haze. She 
wondered how she could have been bo audacious. 

" Very well, drop in to see me any old time." The dis- 
appointment showed plainly on his face. " Good-bye." 

" Good-bye." She took his extended band. 

Hagar was on the street, before she dared question her- 
self as to the advisability of this procedure. 

Something had told her it was the right thing to do, and 
would make him more anxious. 

But when she reached home and sat alone in her little 



814 Hagar ReveUy 

room, she wag more depressed than ever and wished she had 
not tried to be 00 clever with him. 

Drawing a rocker up to the window, she sat for a whole 
hour looking out into the street below, comparing herself 
with a number of dirty-faced children, who were laughing 
and running along the curbing. When the bell rang for 
supper, she felt not at all himgr;, deciding she would 
rather sit alone in her room, than go downstairs and listen 
to the boarders' conTersations. 

She sat there, thinking; thinking the wall paper was 
more greasy looking; the little carpet more worn; her own 
brown suit very shabby, after all her mending and 
pressing. 

A knock at the door jerked her from her reflections. 
Somehow, she was really frightened, when she ashed 
"Who's thA"e?** Probably, she thought, from sitting 
quiet so long. 

It was a note in Greenfield's handwriting, brou^t by a 
special messenger. 

" Thank jou," she said to the servant who brou^t it, 
and when the door was closed, she started a little frantic- 
ally to tear it open. 

Then she controlled herself, as if some hidden person in 
the room were observing her. 

" You fool," she said to herself, and with more than 
necessary deliberation, tore open the envelope. 

"Dear Hagar: 

I am sending this note on a chance. I want to see yon, and 
I don't believe you have an engagement. I'll stay at the 
address you know on Eighty-seventh Street to-night, so you can 
come as late as you want. It may be that you won't get this 
note much before nine o'clock anyway. 

I am so anxious to see you. Don't be a fool, Hagar," 

She looked at the piece of paper steadily for many 

.oogic 



Hagar ReveUy 616 

minutes. With a sudden determination she went over to 
the closet. " I believe I'll go," she said to herself, a feel- 
ing of pique, because he had so easily fathomed her lie 
to him, making her hesitate a moment as she reached up 
for a long grej veil. Then she exclaimed, a little sav- 
agely, " Oh, what's the use of fooling myself," and in a 
moment she had put on her hat and closed the door after 
her, and walked down the stairs to the street and sub- 
way. 

After all, why shouldn't she go P It wasn't as if she had 
something else to fall back on. 

However, she was just a little nervous, and when the 
man called " Grand Central," she arose with the crowd and 
walked up the steps before she was aware that she was 
getting off at the wrong station. 

Then she saw by a clock that it was yet very early, and 
so decided to walk a few blocks. The glare of light 
Broadway-wards ended whatever thought she had to go 
into the station and wait. 

A great sign of many thousands of incandescents, 
merged together in a crude representation of a bottle 
pouring a dazzling yellow stream from its mouth, at- 
tracted her attention, as she walked over Forty-second 
Street. A new kind of champagne, she read, and for a time 
was held fascinated by its changing colors, so dark and 
silent for a moment, then bursting into all its blazing 
glory. 

" I'll get some of that to-night, I guess," she confessed 
to herself, smiling a little oddly. 

She walked down the iron steps at the Times Square 
Subway Station, and into the crowded train, feeling quite 
in the spirit for an adventure. 

The same negro woman, with her bine dress and spec- 
tacles, admitted her. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



SIC Hagar Rn»ajf 

** Just come in," said she, and in a moment Hagar was 
inside Greenfield's room. 

He was sittiog bj a large rocker drawn up in front of 
the grate fire, and when she came in, he arose and took her 
hands. 

" Well, Hagar, I'm pretty glad to see you," he said. 

At his request, she took off her hat and coat, and 
laid them on the back of a chair. Hagar noticed that 
as he offered. to assist her, his manner was polite and 
gentle. 

But they were hardly settled before the fire, when he 
began to ply her with questions. 

" Now, tell me what you're been doing, ^here you've 
been, Hagar P " he said in one breath. 

" Oh, there's not much to tell. I haven't been doing 
anything." 

« Well — what about that fellow — Herrick? Wasn't 
that his nameP " 

Greenfield noticed that she reddened somewhat. 

" Let's change the subject," she begged. 

" As you say," he laughed. He was determined not to 
have the evening start off badly. " Only, I'm quite in- 
terested in what has transpired, Hagar. You can under- 
stand — " 

" Oh, there is nothing to telt, just monotony, bored to 
death -— that's all," she said slowly. 

Sympathetically he exclaimed : " Poor Hagar ! " 

She threw her head back somewhat defiantly. 

** Oh, I don't need pity." 

" No? " 

"No!" 

"Then, you need — whatP Love?" 

Rather shamedly she looked at him from under her lids. 
Her moment of splendid defiance had vanished. 

" Oh, maybe," she whispered. 

DiailizodbvGoOgle 



Hagar ReveUf/ 6l7 

" I am sure of it, Hagar," he exclaimed, gra§ping ber 
hands. 

Then he dropped his parlejiug manner. 

" I believe you know why you came back to me, 
Hagar," he said earnestly, " You realized that I am fond 
of you. Yes, you thought about it a long while, and sud- 
denly made up your mind that I love you. And you 
wanted to be loved ; so there was nothing else for you to 
do but to come back home. Am I right P ... I 
wonder," he went on, " if I've been a fool all this time, to 
keep on thinking and thinking of you, never forgetting 
you for an instant? " 

He took out his watch and opened its lid. " You see, 
here's your picture — remember the one that was taken of 
all the girls? I cut yours out and had it enlarged." 

He looked deeply into her eyes. " Tell me, Hagar," he 
asked softly, " was I a fool for thinking about you so 
much? " 

Staring steadily ahead of her, she failed to answer. 

" Was I a fool for thinking about you so much? " he 
repeated. " Look at me, dear." 

Her head was bent low, and one hand shaded her eyes 
as she gazed into the fire, while the other lay stretched 
along the arm of the chair. 

Gaining courage, Greenfield took her hand in his own, 
and remarked at its slight trembling. 

Hagar did not draw away, but only said, " Yes, I am a 
little nervous to-night." 

He felt the clasp of her fingers grow stronger. 

Then she suddenly looked up into his face, with a greatly 
changed expression: "You're pretty good to me, after 
all, aren't you ? " 

She spoke with a good deal of the old childishness and 
appreciation, and Greenfield thought he had never heard 
her speak so sweetly. 

DoiizodbvLiOOgle 



818 Hagar Revelljf 

" It*B because I love you, dearie. Fd do an^rthing on 
earth if I thought jou loved me." 

For a half hour they talked with friendliness and 
intimacy. Greenfield was determined to be gentle, suave 
and tactful ; if he spoke too hastily, he halted, and went 
back into more control, as if he were following out some 
prearranged plan. 

And Hagar was meek and quiet, never once letting him 
understand that she was thoroughly conscious of the situ- 
ation. 

While they were talking, the woman who bad greeted 
Hagar in the hallway, knocked at the door. 

" Did Mr. Greenfield want any wine? " 

After a whispered order, he came back and sat again by 
her side. Hagar thought he was a little excited now, for 
he soon left his chair and went over to poke tfae fire, which 
vas already burning very brightly. 

" It is cosier when it's warm," he said. 

Hagar watched him with interest. 

Leaning against the mantelpiece, and with the iron 
tongs still in his hands, he stood quiet for a moment, re- 
garding her. 

*' So, you are back home at last, little ^rl, aren't you P ** 
be commenced. " It's pretty hard to realize." 

With a playful toss of her head, she said, rather sweetly, 
« Is it? " 

" Yes, you bet ! " he said slowly. 

He came over and stood back of her chair, and then, 
with both hands, slowly stroked her glowing black hair. 

'* You don't know how I have missed you — I have been 
terribly lonely, Hagar." 

There was a thread of sadness in his voice. 

" I am sorry, Mr. Greenfield." 

"Why don't you call me by my first nameP** ex- 
daimed he. 

DiailizodbvGoOgle 



Hagar Rm^jf tlO 

"What is itP" 

" You don't know [ " 

" No, honestl; not," 

" I thought I told you — then, or rather uked you to 
— one night, some place." 

" I don't remember it." 

" Well, you call me Ben. That's shorter than my whole 
name. Good heavens, what's the matter? " 

Hagar had become suddenly pale and her face showed a 
sadness that made him start. 

" What's the matter, kiddie," he asked, frightened lest 
aome hidden meaning, some reminiscence brought bj his 
words, had come out of the past to hlight all the progress 
be had made. 

" Your — Ben — made me think of something, that's 
all. It's all right now." 

And she understood for the first time how it had come 
that she had named the little china doll. It surprised her 
when she realized that in all this time, she had not once 
been conscious in the similarity of names. 

But to all his begging, she only gave the same answer: 

" Oh, it's all right. It's nothing," even calling him 
** Ben," for the first time, just to pacify him. 

Greenfield commented upon her vague explanation. 
."You see, you don't tell me anything," he said, as he drew 
a little away from the fire. 

The light from the burning embers cast a soft crimson 
tint on his face, subduing the usual sallowness of his thick 
sldn. In this light Hagar thought him not altogether un- 
handsome. 

** Yes," he went on, " you don't tell me anything, 
Hagar. Everything is so mysterious. When I asked jou 
about this fellow Herrick, you only say, * Oh, he left the 
city.' If I ask you about your folks, or your job, or what 
jou have done for over a year, it is always tbe same. 



9X0 Hagar ReveUjf 

answer. Why, Hagar, don't you realize that you need 
someone to tell the truth to. You can lie to most anyone 
you meet, but the truth — " 

" It wouldn't do any good," she ventured. " If I told 
you the straight of it, it would be so strange you'd be sure 
I was lying. At least, now, you don't know whether to 
think I am lying or not." 

Seeing it was best to let her have her way, he left 
the subject of their conversation to tell how hard he had 
tried to find her. 

At that moment there was another knock on the door 
that led into the hall. 

It was done in a gentle manner, being nearly inaudible, 
but it frightened Hagar immeasurably. 

" You mustn't be scared," Greenfield said, as he noticed 
how startled she was. " It's only the maid." 

Then he opened the door and the woman brought into 
the room on a black enamelled tray, a large bottle of 
champagne. When she went out they both laughed at the 
way Hagar had been scared. It served to make each 
understand how tense was the situation in the mind of 
the other. But at the same time, Hagar was conscious 
enough of her position, to look at his hack, as be stood 
at the door, and wonder when he would begin kissing her. 

As soon as the maid left, Greenfield walked across the 
room to the little table on which was placed the 
champagne. 

Quite nonchalantly, he said, as he broke off the wire over 
the cork : *' We must take some of this wine. We are both 
pretty tired and stupid to-night." 

" Am I stupid, Ben," she asked childishly. 

" I didn't mean that, I meant that / was," he apolo- 
gized. 

Now he took the neck of one of the bottles and wrapped 
a large napkin about it many times. Then he twisted 



Hagar RmeUy Ml 

and turned it until the cork came out with only the 
faintest whisper of an explosion. When he poured the 
sparkling amber fluid into the two broad-bellied glasses, 
be showed that he felt rather proud of himself. 

" YouVe got to open a good many bottles to do it that 
way," be remarked. 

Hagar asked him why. 

** Because there is so much gas in the bottles it would 
pop all over everything. You must do it alowly.** 

Coming over to where she sat, be placed a glass care- 
fully on the broad arm of the chair. He did it with great 
precision and care. 

" There," he said, " youTl like it. I don't believe it is 
too dry." 

" What kind of wine is it? " 

" Why, champagne, child, Pommery." 

Then he raised the glass to his lips. " Here's — to our 
future happiness, Hagar," he said, looking directly into 
her eyes. " Go ahead and taste it." 

" I have never drank champagne before," came from her 
doubtfully. "Would it make me drunkP I've always 
wanted to taste it." 

He laughed. "Why, of course it won't make you 
drunk, go ahead and drink it." 

A little longer she hesitated. 

" Really, Hagar, you'll like it. A little champagne is 
the only drink for white people. Go ahead and drink it." 

At last she obeyed him. 

"Isn't it good?" he asked, after she had taken a 
■wallow. 

" It's — so funny. All the little bubbles come up and 
•ting you in the Face." 

" See! I knew you'd like it." 

She took the glass again in her hand ard for a long 
time looked down into it, while she fingered the thin item 



8CS Hagar ReveUy 

in s gentle caress. Then she laughed ontright and 
placed the glass to her lips. When she had taken it away, 
even the long stem was empty. 

For a time they sat looking into the fire. Over Hagar 
there seemed to spread a gentle soothing feeling that 
veiled her body in peace, and made her more happy than 
she had been in months. Looking ahead of her, she caught 
her reflection in the mirror; and thought she had never 
looked so well since the days when she had been happy with 
Herrick. 

Even Greenfield seemed handsome somehow, and as she 
looked out of the comer of her eye to catch his eyes study- 
ing her, she felt that she would have suffered his arm to 
be about her, had he enough sense to attempt it at that 
moment. He seemed so foolish, sitting there so quietly, 
when they were all alone. 

" You know you have changed a good deal in the last 
year, Hagar," said Greenfield at that moment. 

" Have I? " 

" Yes. You don't think those high-minded things about 
life the way you used to. Now, do you? " 

** Oh, perhaps not. A girl like me hasn't got so much 
chance in this world." 

" I told you that a year ago.** 

" I am be^nning to believe it now." 

" Hagar, you mean it? " he cried, jumping ap. 

She was startled by this sudden impulse. " Why, what's 
the matter? " 

" What you just said — about beginning to understand 
the way things really are. Do you think that way now? " 

" Oh, I believe I do." Her answer was filled with weari- 

"I^et's have another drink," he suggested. 
Groing over to the table, he again filled the shallow 
glasses. " Drink, Hagar," he said. 

,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



Hagar ReveUy S23 

She took the glass from hia band. " Anywayi it is not 
bad tasting stuff," she laughed. And after a moment, 
like one who hesitates upon the brink of a cold pool, she 
gulped down the contents of the second glass, with a ges- 
ture that was full of abandon and daring. 

Greenfield came over and sat on the arm of her chair. 

" You're a great, wonderful girl," he exclaimed. " I 
swear I have been in love with you ever since the first 
moment I saw you." 

Hagar's response was to look up into his face. His 
lips were near to hers, and in them was such an expression 
of strong desire, she could hardly resist lessening the dis- 
tance that separated them. 

Somehow, she knew that in another moment he would 
kiss her. But it seemed a lot of fun to hold off like this 
and tease him. And so she drew away instead, just to see 
the fiash of self-reproach come into his eyes, because he 
had not grasped that moment. 

They played for nearly an hour in this manner. Green- 
field sat on the arm of her chair, while Hagar gazed con- 
tentedly into the fire. 

Then they had another drink, and to Hagar the room 
seemed to be suddenly filled with a thousand noises, while 
her head whirled around and her heart matched up with 
it in riotous exultation. 

So came the moment when restraint was thrown off 
entirely. They were launched on a sea of tumult and 
rapture. He had her in his arms, kissing her head, her 
cheeks, ber lips, in a frenzy of passion. 

It was no longer a chimera for Greenfield, The beau- 
tiful, soft arms were really around his neck, hanging limp ; 
her body was throbbing close to his own, while Hagar, in 
her fast ebbing consciousness, kept repeatmg to herself, 
over and over : ** How wonderful this is. . . . What 
a fool I have been.** 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



AM Hagar RmeUy 

For only a moment did Greenfield wa£ch the drooping 
lashes, the quivering lips, the tremulous pulsation of her 
bosom. Then he lifted her into his arms, and despite a 
moment of slight resistance. . . . carried her into 
the next roonu 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER XXV 

Hasab and Greenfield were three months together before 
the girl stopped to ask of herself whether her happiness 
was dearly bought, or had come by some benefactor's hand 
in the time of need. 

Everything appeared to have come so gradually and to 
run so smoothly, she could hardly believe that it had not 
always been this way ; and she never thought of its real 
value to her in the way of a fulfilment of her wants and 
desires. It actually seemed for a time that this affair 
with Greenfield was legitimate, and nothing unusual. It 
was only as the months went on that she found herself 
conscious of the same former longings and restlessness. 

During the first few weeks she was slightly worried by 
the manner in which Greenfield would stop and study her. 
She was nearly tempted once to tell him the entire story 
about Herrick. But this action on his part, which seemed 
to her like suspicion, soon passed off, and she felt quite 
happy that she had been saved the confession. 

Often after that she would walk up and down in the 
suite of rooms that Greenfield had fitted tip, asking herself 
why she should be so foolish as to not get all the happiness 
that was to be obtained. 

Curious indeed, was Hagar's state of constant unsatis- 
fied longing. She did not stop to ask of herself the 
question: " Will I be happy? " but rather, " Shall I get 
that which makes others happy P " 

Perhaps, had she placed a greater value on her body, 
like other women of mutabUity, she would have had a dif- 
ferent viewpoint; would have been more practical in her 

DolizodbvCoOglc 



0M Bagar SmUy 

treatment of Greenfield. But now sbe merely used herself 
M s means to an end, with the end, an invisible, mystical 
thing in the perspective. Indeed, she was totally unaware 
of what process of reasoning she hod used to gain a deci- 
sion, or of the trend her resolutions had taken; she was 
really as unaware of her own resolutions as she was un- 
aware of the intentions of her seducer that night on the 
star-lit bank of the Hudson. She tried to find no legiti- 
mate name for what might eventually happen, only going 
on blindly. And all the builded hierarchies of virtue 
tumbled unrecognized to her trodded soil. 

Better living had its effect upon her. Since Greenfield 
always wanted her to look well, and trusted her so much 
that she was allowed accounts in two of the big stores, it 
was not long before a dormant talent for cleverly decora- 
ting herself became apparent. She spent much time in 
buying and looking at expensive garments worn by people 
whom she previously could only envy from her position 
back of the counter. And she spent a good deal of 
money. Appreciating GreE^ifield's confidence in her, it 
was only the knowledge of his implicit trust that kept her 
from taking greater advantage of him. 

Another thing that troubled her, and probably kept her 
from being really extravagant, was a feeling she experi- 
enced whenever she bought a piece of goods, or a passemen- 
terie, that cost more than the usual price. A momentary 
spasm of guilt always shot through her at these times. 

At the beginning of her companionship with Greenfield, 
she had even tried to overcome this feeling of faithlessness, 
by telling herself that she was really in love with him, but 
that her strange nature made it difficult for her to be de- 
monstrative. Then, after many futile attempts, she gave 
up the task, only doing what she saw was necessary to 
keep him from growing too suspicious. 

But she liked the life, and found much happiness in look- 

DoiGodbvCoogle 



Hagar Rev^y S27 

ing pretty, not exactly because Greenfield was made 
happy, but because it opened up to her new vistas — fields 
for more ambitious endeavor. She realized now that all 
this new world of fine clothes and manners could be ob- 
tained by simply being clever. 

Greenfield was really conscious of the change that had 
come over Hagar in the few months, but his own conceit 
gave him an entirely new name for it. When she walked 
out to a taxicab, and showed no longer the signs of her 
former humbleness and gratitude, but instead a look of 
defiance and indifference to every one about her, he was 
much pleased. Who else but he had brought out this 
queenly instinct in her? Mistaking her proud spirit and 
haughtiness for a sign of devotion to himself, be felt that 
he, too, was elevated along with her. 

Hagar was very gay during those days. Instilled with 
confidence in her physical self, gained by a transmission 
of the words of regard given her by others, she displayed 
an innate talent for pleasure that surprised her quite as 
much as it did Greenfield. She grew to love the white 
lights and the marvellous entrances of the great hotels, 
spending hours in front of the mirror rehearsing her 
entrance into them. 

She never paused to consider the possible price she was 
paying. Aside from her duty to Greenfield, the shirking 
of which was the only thing that troubled her, she re- 
mained free of care ; and though, at times, she would ask 
herself if she ought not to consider him more, as a pay- 
ment of his goodness to her, she would always feel easy 
of mind when she reasoned that the power of affection was 
something beyond her control. 

One afternoon at the end of the winter, she suddenly 
met a girl whom she had known at Rhelnchild's. Hagar 
tried to pass her without any sign of recognition, but 
before she could accomplish it, their eyes bad met. 



MS Hagar ReveUjf 

** Why, Searie," exclaimed the girl, " I am so ^ad to 
•ee you." 

The ^I eyed her, and then, after a moment^ in which 
she had entirely surveyed Hagar, she said in a manner full 
of awe : " Why — you — where'd you get all the rags ? " 

Smiling in a superior manner, Hagar replied: "Why, 
you know I'm married — been married for nearly six 
months." 

•* I didn't know that. Well, you're pretty lucky, all 
right." She was unable to keep her eyes off the broad- 
cloth and furs. 

They had a few more words, and when the ^rl left, 
Hagar stood for a moment rigid and silent. This was the 
first time she had come into a fragment of her old life, and 
the remembrance burst in upon her vindictively. 

" Damn it I I had to lie," she exclaimed quite aloud. 
" What right had she to ask me, anyway ? " 

All the way back to the hotel, the strangeness of having 
to utter the untruthful words annoyed her. 

Two days later, just as she was coming out of Tiffany*8, 
she met Thatah. The tall, thin figure wore black clothes, 
and a hat trimmed in crepe. More like an apparition 
Thatah seemed at that moment, and Hagar was too 
startled to ward off any of the many thoughts crowding 
her brain. 

She grasped Thatah's arm. " Thatah, what's the 
matter? I haven't seen you for months. You are not in 
mourning I " 

That^ was quiet and sad. " Yes, sister, I'm in moum-i 
ing," she replied. 

Realizing that some calamity had befallen Thatah, and 
from a desire to appear sympathetic and interested, Hagar 
cried: "For heaven's sake, Thatah, tell me what has 
happened? I haven't seen you for such a long time." 

" I tried very bard to get you, Hagar," Thatah Mid, 

L ,l,z<»i:,.,C00gIf 



Hagar Beoettj/ 8S9 

quietly. " I inquired at the boarding house where jou 
lived, but they seemed to know nothing about you." 

Then Hagar pointed to the crSpe. " Is it father t " she 
begged. 

Tbatah answered very softly : ** Yes, Hagar, he died 
four months ago." 

" He died four months ago I " Hagar repeated mechan- 
ically, at the same time wondering why she could not think 
of some more intelligent question or sentence which would 
better show her grief. 

" Yes. He had what the doctors called nephritis, with 
complications." 

" Oh, how awful — how awful," moaned Hagar. 

" Yes, it was awful. Thank God, it is all passed now.** 

Thatah spoke slowly, with a little break in her voice. 
" He suffered so terribly at the last." 

" Did he — ask about me? " Hagar faltered. 

" Yes. He was food of you always." 

** He was fond of me, sister? I didn't know that,*' 
Hagar murmured. 

After a moment of silence, Thatah asked where Hagar 
was living. 

" I'm living at the Malvern Hotel. I'm — married 
now, you Imow." There was a return in Hagar's words of 
her usual spirit. 

And now Thatah was startled. " You're married, 
Hagar?*' 

" Yes.** 

" Hagar, to whom? " 

**WelI, I think you remember him — Mr. Oreenfldd. 
Fm married to him." 

" You married himi " exclaimed Thatah. 

Hagar looked up, 

" Of course. He was the only one that was really 
square with me." ,-. . 

D,a,l,z.dbvGOOglC 



SSO Hagar RevtUjf 

Thatab waa so bewildered, so perplexed, that the words 
had to fight their way to her lips. " Well, Hagar, it is all 
very strange — you married to Greenfield," she said 
finally. 

They had stood at the side of the curbing for aaotber 
few minutes, when a feeling of discomfort builded itself in 
Hagar to such an extent that she could no longer stand 
quietly and talk to Thatah. Somehow, she felt a sudden 
return to her old days of misery, and as she looked up and 
saw how sad Thatah appeared, bow disheartened in spirit 
and shabby in dress she was, as compared with herself, 
she felt that she could no longer tolerate the painful con- 
trast. 

" Well, I must go now, Thatah," she said, restlessly. 
" I'm living at the Malvern on Forty-fifth Street." Her 
nervousness was overcoming her. " I wish you would drop 
is some time. 

" You don't know how sony I am about father," she 
went on, with her eyes cast down, ashamed of her absolute 
lack of response to Thatah's tears. " I wish I could do 
something." Extending her hand, she stammered : " Well, 
good-bye, Thatah. You do know how I feel about — 
about father's death — don't you ? " 

Thatah remained silent, and she added : " I'd really 
like to have you look me up, sometime." 

She was well out of sight, before Thatah, who had been 
enveloped in a veil of reverie and wonderment, brought on 
by Hagar's strange action, turned and walked over to the 
Thirty-third Street Subway. And along the whole walk, 
she kept repeating to herself: "She never once asked 
about Edric." And as she thought on, and remembered 
the queer shifting of Hagar's eyes, and her eagerness to 
get away, she said, nearly aloud, *' Yes, Hagar has surely 
changed." 

Until she reached home, the picture of Hagar'i radiant 



Hagar BeveUy Ml 

health, her wonderful clothes and her ddicate, reHned man- 
ner, 80 utterly new, was vividly present. As she thought 
about it, she somehow felt old and shabby, in comparison. 

The thoughts that pursued Hagar as she walked hur- 
riedly up Fifth Avenue were of on entirely different 
nature, 

A dozen times before she reached the hotel, the feeling 
of guilt 80 encompassed her that once or twice, she nearly 
stumbled. She kept muttering, " Good God — good 
God," and yet was unable to explain why she felt so cul- 
pable. The only thing that lightened her burden of self- 
ishness, was the companionable rustle of her silk petticoat. 
It made her think of how much more fortunate, or better, 
more wise, she was than her sister. 

But for days after this, the apparition of Thatah's thin 
figure and pale face was a burden on Hagar's soul. 

And, somehow, it was this episode with Thatah that 
brought a fuller understanding, and a different meaning, 
to her disregard of Greenfield. Things seemed suddenly 
to have become more serious, and time more valuable. 

One night, when Greenfield and she were going to the 
opera, she found it difficult to conceal any longer the fact 
that she was getting tired and wearied of having to ap- 
pear responsive to his caresses. 

When he came into the room, and said : " The opera, 
kiddie — everyone will look at you," she had a strug^e 
to hide from him the shudder that swept through her. 
At that moment she wished she could have bravely 
told him exactly how she felt. Then she spied a blue 
silk evening dress hanging in the closet; it brought to 
her the old instinct of reasoning. With the same cold 
weariness, she answered: "Yes, Ben." How she wished 
she mig^t have been free to walk up to him and say: 
" Ben, I'm sick of fooling you. I can't hdd out any 
longer. Now, do what you please." ^-. , 

I ,„z<,i..,Googk- 



Ml Hagar ReveUy 

The; were to play the ** Rheingold," an opera with 
which Greenfield bad become familiar, and as he left her* 
he hummed over bojiBhlj, the music of the first scene, 
where the three water nymphs frolic in the deep waters 
of the Shine. It made him appear in her eyes even more 
•illy than before, and Hagar had to walk over to the 
window in an effort to get him from her mind. 

However, she made her toilet that evening with an 
infinite care, reasoning there would be others who might 
watch her. She brought her black hair low down on 
her forehead, in a very new method; she put a little 
extra rouge on her cheeks, and a little bit more of extra 
coloring on to her lips, and when she put on her soft 
grey gown, with its quivering silvery rows of beads at the 
bodice, her happiness seemed to have come back again, 
with the music brought on by their faint jingle. 

Greenfield came in long before she had finished dressing. 
Walking up and down the room, he looked at her with 
proud eyes, admiring the fingers, so small, so soft and 
well formed. There was even a feeling of envy in his 
heart as he watched them put a strand of hair in place, 
or fold themselves together. 

When she was nearly dressed, she asked him to button 
her dress in the back, and after he had finished, he was 
so much enraptured he made an effort to kiss her. 
** Whee, you are beautiful to-night, Hagar," be exclaimed, 
exultantly. 

But she drew away from him, and said : " Don't. 
You will spoil my hair. It took me an hour to fix it." 

They reached the Opera House just as an announce- 
ment was being made that Romeo and Juliet would be 
played, instead of the opening drama of the Nibelung's 
Ring. One of the singers had a severe cold. 

In a way, the announcement pleased Hagar a good 
deal, as she hated Wagnerian music mtensely. Besides, 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



Hagar ReveUjf 888 

it always made her think of her father, sitting at the 
piano, with his shoulders humped and his head bowed. 

Her mood changed completely as the performance went 
on. Enveloped bj hazy clouds of romantic thoughts, she 
sat through the sad drama, likening herself and her lot 
to every situation in the play. When Romeo entered 
Capulete's palace, disguised as the pilgrim, she fell in 
love with him, quite as soon as did Juliet. She, too, 
became his lover, his champion, and she struggled through 
the duel with Mercutio, and then with Tybalt, with her 
heart beating in unison with each fiery challenge of their 
swords. It was the who awakened and stabbed herself to 
death with a dagger, when the fatal poison was taken in 
the fifth act: it was her heart that bled for the unfor- 
tunate lover. 

Then, everything changed when the performance waa 
over, and the curtain descended, and she saw again the 
sallow face and thick figure of the man at her side. 

As they went down the broad marble stairs, after the 
performance, Greenfield noticed her agitation and ex- 
plained to her that he too felt sad. 

*' It is full of tragedy," he said. " It makes a person 
think, doesn't it?" 

" Yes, I should say it does." 

" I was in the store the other day, and heard two mu- 
sicians with long hair talking about it. What do you 
think one of them saidP " 

" I can't imagine." 
, " Well, one of them, he really must have amounted to 
something, said that it could be done in pantomime, or 
without the acting altogether. He said it spoilt the 
message, or something, and that to those who under- 
stood, the music speaks plainer than all the singing. I 
think he was crazy, don't you? " 

" Well, I should say," answered Hagar. 

L ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



SM Hagar ItevOly 

Passing out into tbe street, Hagar accidentally brushed 
shoulders with a young blonde-hatred person in a dress 
suit. The man's black clothes clung to his muscles, and 
moved like tbe skin of some animal irith each step tiiat 
he took. He was so clean looking, and his blue eyes were 
so fresh and sparkling, she felt the impulse gather in her 
to throw her arms around him. It had been long since 
she had felt a quiver brought on by anybody that had fas- 
cinated her. 

For a moment, she and Greenfield were jostled by the 
crowd, and then she lost sight of the dark clothed figure 
altogether. With her attention no longer diverted, she 
looked up at Greenfield, only to see that beside the figure 
of the blonde young man, he appeared more sallow and 
weary than ever. 

" Are you tired ? " she asked. Her eyes were still 
searching through the crowd. 

" Oh, pretty tired, I guess," he answered. " We had 
a hard day at the store. Was over to Newark. Bought 
out a dandy bankrupt lot — but we bad to invoice the 
whole stock." 

Hagar had to turn away to hide her feelings, and 
when she looked up again, it was to see just ahead of 
them, the carefully groomed man dart through the crowd 
and lift into an automobile a woman in a pale blue gown. 

For a moment, Hagar stood watching the woman, think- 
ing how she would have liked to be in tbe man's arms. 
Then she looked up at Greenfield again. His tie, at that 
moment, had unfortunately crept up on his collar. 

" Yes, let's go home, Ben. I feel pretty tired, too." 

There was a little quavering catch in her voice, a faint, 
wistful suggestion of her proud spirit bowing its head. 

That evening at tbe opera, only added to tbe restlessness 
brought on by Thatah. During the following days, 
Greenfield noticed her unhappy mood many times — it 



Bagar RmeUj/ S85 

wu maide more apparent to him bj ber fits of abient- 
mindedneBS, her apparent lack of regard for him, even 
when he vas talking to her. 

Scenting now, some possible spell of chastisement or re- 
proach on her part, he never left her alone for more 
than a few hours at a time, but instead, put himself out 
to be with her, even when his business demanded his at- 
tention. Organizing frequent shopping expeditions, he 
would make her buy things he knew would please her, even 
though she would not ask for tbem ; he took her to the 
gajer places again, Churchill's, Maxim's, a little French 
restaurant in Universitj Place, where he thought th» 
lack of conventional life would divert her. 

And so it was not long before she was gay and buoyant 
again, and he was proud and pleased over his abUity to 
discern ber feelings and control them. 

Two or three months passed before Hagar really gave 
him an understanding of her feelings. And then, it was 
only to realize and become rather disappointed over the 
fact that she had such influence over him that he was 
powerless in her hands, and could not light back. At the 
very height of this quarrel, Greenfield became so excited, 
be held his fist above her as if to strike her. And then he 
threw bis hands over his eyes, crying: " Oh, my God, I 
can't — I can't." 

But Hagar had become actually tired of trying 
to fool him. And to justify herself in ber own eyes, or 
perhaps more to have places of refuge for her guilt, she 
began to hunt in him for possible fault. When he wore 
a hard, stiff bosom to his shirt, she looked around and 
compared him with the men that wore soft, finely plaited 
bosoms ; she noticed that he wore high shoes in the even- . 
ing; that his cuff's were not attached to bis shirt, as she 
saw in the advertisements. 

What made ber most unhappy was that the waa begio- 

I ,i,z<,d.vCoogIe 



M6 Hagar ReoeUjf 

ning to have a certain sort of sympathj for him. His 
fits of sadness, into which his love for her plunged himt 
made her feel UDComfortabte and a little disgusted with 
him» but she could not deny that she felt sorry and wished 
that she might for the moment be able to please him, and 
•top his worry, or better — that he cared less for her. 

One morning at breakfast time, Greenfield spoke what 
had been on his mind for several weeks. 

" I wish, Hagar," he said, " that you wouldn't flirt 
with people the way you do." He remarked in as casual 
a manner as possible upon her actions the night before, 
with a fellow named Kettle. All evening she had sat fac- 
ing this friend of his, and whenever Greenfield happened to 
look up, it was to see her eyes deep in an encounter with 
the guest. 

At first Greenfield's remark made Hagar angry. Then 
she said playfully: ** You're not jealous, are you, 
dearie P " 

" I don't like it,** Greenfield answered. 

This was in reality the first wedge driven against their 
continued companionship. In the next few days, there 
followed many little incidents, unspoken words, strange 
sidelong glances, that stored up in their cumulative efforts 
the beginning of the denouement. 

At the table, while Greenfield was lost in some selfish 
depiction of his own cleverness, she would watch and 
study him; while be glowed with- self-satisfaction she 
would look at his mouth and eyes, and find in them great 
points of displeasure. 

She began to be less cautious in keeping from him the 
idea that she was very tired of his kisses, his love-hungry 
eyes, the monotonous trips to the restaurants and hotels. 

To herself, she commenced to argue now: "He thinks 
he owns me. Well, I'll show him." 

A longing for excitement still breathed throu^ her 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar ReoeUy SVI 

being, but somehow what she was getting failed to sat- 
isfy her entirely. When she stopped to look at herself 
in the mirror, she would say : " I'm pretty young yet 
— what's the matter with me?" 

She indulged frequently now in a sort of personal su^ 
vey of herself. In her bath, she would lie thinking; 
while she dressed, she would question herself; and the 
only solace she would find, would be in the sheen of her 
sUk dressing gown, or in the delicately colored underwear 
that she could not have had other than through Green- 
field's aid. 

Greenfield came home with a bad cold in his head about 
this time. Hagar was sitting in the bedroom readingi a 
novel, when his violent paroxysms of sneezing at the 
door aroused her, and when he came into the room, she 
noticed his face was paler than usual, and his eyes bor- 
dered by thick reddened lids. 

" Your boy's got a cold, baby," he said, as he took off 
his coat. 

"Have you?" she replied drily. 

He seemed so old at the moment, and his efforts to 
appear boyish bothered her. Greenfield noticed the lack 
of kindness in her voice. 

" You are not very sympathetic to-day, kiddie." 

« No? " 

He looked at her. ** No," he replied. 

" Oh, I'm sympathetic all right. I'm just tired, I 
guess." 

Greenfield went into the bathroom and when he come 
back, he drew up a chair very close to her. 

** I had a funny experience to-day, Hagar," he began. 

"What was it, Ben?" as she put her hook down. 

" Well, I was fiddling away in the office, not • 
much knowing what I was doing, when I found myself 
scribbling away on the blotter." He paused for a mo- 



8SS Hagar StveUff 

ment. " It was very interesting, Hagar, became I hon- 
estly didn't know what I was doing." 

When he paused again, Hagar said: " Well, what are 
joQ driving at? " 

" I was making a plat of our — friendship, Hagar — 
and I got down to the word ' indifference,' before I knew 
what I was doing. Then I pushed the thing away from 
me, and made up my mind that I was going to be a little 
meaner with you. And then, when I got in the elevator 
out there, I somehow saw your little figure, and your 
pretty face — " He gave a si^, and then added : 
" That's all, Hagar. I've just found out what a fool 
I am." 

"What's all that got to do with me?" 

He turned his eyes out of the window in a strange way : 
** Oh, nothing, I guess." 

After a time, he sud : ** It's ^oomy in here. Why 
dont you make a light?" 

" I like the twilight," she answered. ** It makef yoa 
think." 

"Thmk?" 

"Yes." 

«0f what?** 

*'0h, things," she antwer^ rather vaguely. 

Greenfield arose and stood back of her chair, regarding 
her for a long time before saying anything. " Hagar, 
you don't care for me in the old way," he began. 

" Why do you say that, Ben? " 

" I'm sure of it. I couldn't be surer of anything than 
I am of that" 

"You've no reason to say that." 

She took a deep breath, as if pondering over some- 
thing about which she had thought considerably. Then, 
ahe said, quite suddenly: " No, you've no reason to say 
that, and then Fm getting tired, anyway, of having you 



Magar RgeeUy B89 

come home every evening with a scowl on your face. I 
don't see why you can't be pleasant." 

" Well, if I'm that way, I have a reason. Remember 
how you used to put your arms around me when I came 
in, and how we used to kiss each other? It's not that 
way any more, Hagar. I can't help noticing it. Why, 
you haven't said * good night ' to me for a week," 

" Oh, well, people need a change. Maybe I'm getting 
a little tired. You know we've been together for a long 
while. Then you don't ever let me look at any one else 
anyway, I guess that's it," she added. " You're so 
jealous, Pm getting tired of it." ' 

Greenfield grasped her hand. '* Dont you understand 
that's because I love you, HagarP If I didn't care for 
you, I wouldn't care what you did." 

" But you are always happy when you're showing me 
off to others," she pointed out " You think I am some 
sort of a toy, that walks pretty just for other people, 
Ben. Oh, I am getting sick of not having any fun. 
Maybe we've been together too much." She leaned over 
and rested her chin on her hands. After a time, she 
sighed, " I believe I ou^t to go away." 

Greenfield had been conscious of the increasing bittei^ 
ness in her words as she argued with herself. But now 
he was actually startled, exclaiming in tones full of anx- 
iety: "You mean to leave me!" 

Up to this moment, Hagar had not even the slightest 
inkling of such a desire. But now, in the instant, Green- 
field's suspicion made a certain plan seem actually feas- 
ible. The suggestion opened up such a wealth of pos- 
sibilitieB, she wondered why she had not thought of it her- 
self. 

Now she answered his question. " No, I don't want to 
leave you. I just want to go on a little trip. Then 
when I come back, maybe it will be different again. Pre 



MO Hagar ReveUy 

tboQj^t about it for a long time. I'd go to — Paris, 
majbe, and pick up a few clothes while I was at it. I*d 
like to get Bome foreign things, anyway." 

Her eyes were dancing as she worded the idea, and 
when Greenfield came over and sat on the cushion he had 
placed at her feet, she stroked his black, curly hair with 
long, gentle caresses. 

**Wby haven't you told me this before?" he asked. 
" You know, I've been wondering what was wrong." 

He was happy again. And Hagar worked with every 
resource that lay in her being. 

Taking hold of both his hands, she said; "I'm -aw- 
fully fond of you, Ben. But you know we*ve hardly 
been separated for nearly a, year. IVe worried about it, 
too, fearing that such a thing might kill our love for 
each other altogether. And I didn't want that to hap- 
pen — for we've had some pretty good times together, 
haven't we, Ben?" She spoke wistfully, and, as Green- 
field thought, a little sadly. 

" You poor kiddie," he answered, and then, *' But why 
didn't you g^ve me some idea of what was troubling you? 
I worried too, Kiddie. I was afraid you weren't caring 
for me. The other night you just sparkled when I 
brought in young Kettle. Something came into my mind 
that night that kept me awake for hours." 

** What was it, Ben?" 

" Oh, I thought — well, I thought that maybe I was 
a little too old for you." 

"Foolish boy, you dont think that, do you?** 

" No," he said, grasping her hand, " I believe I under- 
stand you now." 

That night he sneezed and coughed so continually, 
that after a few hours, Hagar arose from her disturbed 
sleep and fixed for him a hot whiskey, and then turned 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar RtfceUy 841 

on the hot water in the tub, and made him take a hot 
foot-bath. 

She wa« on the point of climbing back into bed, when 
she ha[^ned to look into the bathroom. 

He was half asleep, his head hung loosely on his shoul- 
der, while the light from the single incandescent accentu- 
' ated every haggard line in his face. 

She didn't go off to sleep, and when he came into the 
room, told him she thought she would make her bed on 
the davenport. " I believe I might catch your cold," 
she explained. 

" You're right," he answered drowsily, a little dazed 
from the effects of the whiskey and the heat of the bath- 
room. " I don't see why I didn't think of it." 

Hagar found sleep that night impossible. 

" I've got to get away," was her one thought. 

It was only after she had decided not to wait much 
longer, that she found any rest. 

The subject of a trip abroad was the main topic of 
conversation for the next few days. 

" Oh, you'll he proud of me when I come hack," she 
told him. Then she would do a sweeping entr6e in sonte 
long-trained Parisian gown, while Greenfield looked on 
beaming, pleased with the return of her lost spirit. 

A stop was put to their preparations, however, when 
a business deal in Chicago necessitated Greenfield's ab- 
sence from the city for about a week. 

Hagar took him to the Pennsylvania Terminal anud a 
storm of protestations, though she was more concerned 
about the break in her own plans than about his leaving 
her. 

" Oh, I'll be back before you expect me, little one," 
said he, and when be left there were actual tears in her 
eyes, which he perceived eagerly. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



MB Bagar Revdlg 

" Vou poor cliild," he remarked brobenl j, and refrained 
from further comments lest she perceive his surging feel- 
ings. 

When the porter grasped his satchel and said: " Bet- 
ter leave, Mister, ain't got much time," Greenfield could 
hardly bold up under his feelings. 

He took Hagar's hand, and whispered: "Well, Ha- 
gar, don't worry. 111 be back soon." He looked directly 
into her eyes. "Will you miss me, Hagar? " 

She breathed a faint, wondering, " Yes." 

At that moment Greenfield seemed to break completely. 
He placed both of his hands on her shoulders. 

" Good-bye, darling," 

" Good-bye, Ben." 

** 1 love you, Hagar. Do you love me? " 

** You know better than to ask that, dear," she an- 
swered softly. 

Resolutely turning away, he passed through the iron 
gate, while Hagar watched his set shoulders and head, 
and thought to herself that for a man. he was taking 
their parting rather foolishly. 

When Greenfield settled himself in his seat, his temples 
were throbbing. An ecstasy of happiness pursed through 
his being. It seemed that Hagar was really fond of him 
again, and a hundred times he recalled and clung to the 
memory of the tears in her eyes, and the softness in her 
voice as she bade him good-bye. 

Throu^out the entire journey, each changing bit of 
scenery, all the quiet of the fields and meadows, brought 
to him mystic symbols from his beloved. The forests 
were woodlands where shepherds piped love's meditations ; 
the little stringed ribbons of water that sparkled in the 
sunlight, as the train rusbed over them, were sOvery 
strands that carried his messages across the open coun- 
try. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



"Hagar RmOlg IMS 

For the flret time in his life, he refrained from enter- 
ing the conversstions in the smoking-room, finding the 
talk there, stupid and inane. 

He was happy and exultant in his loneliness, and when 
the train puffed its way into the Union Depot at Chicago, 
he was queerly sorry that he could not have had a longer 
time to dwell amidst his sditary r«flectioiii. 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER XXVI 

Thb night that Greenfield left, Hagar sat in a rocking 
chair b; the window until nine o'clock. 

Then it seemed that she could no longer endure the 
loneliness or the emphasis of it, brought on b; watching 
the moving crowd on the street below. Since Greenfield 
had left, she had sat wondering if she would have to spend 
nearly a week shut up in her room in the lonesome hotel. 

Her mind worked quickly, propelled by some hidden 
jeaming of which she was not even conscious. 

Why hadn't Greenfield realized how lonesome she would 
be, and planned some way out of it for her? To go awaj 
without thinking of what she would endure, showed his 
selfishness. 

Immersed in a flood of thought, which soon passed into 
anger, she went to the telephone and called for Kettle 
at the Hotel Astor. 

Luckily, he had stopped ld, to change his clothes for 
the evening. 

In a moment she had explained to him how lonesome she 
was — how she had sat looking out of the window for 
three hours — that Mr. Greenfield had left for Chicago, 
and that — she didn't know why she asked it — but if 
he had nothing else better to do, perhaps he would not 
mind stopping in to keep her from being so lonesome. 
She added that this was the first time Mr. Greenfield bad 
ever been away from her — since they were married. 

Her eyes fired and her cheeks colored, as she tore off 
her tailored suit and put on a plain evening gown of 
dark grey silk. In the one-half hour she took to drus. 



Hagar Reodlff SM 

her heart vibrated barnionioasl; and her mind sang songs 
she had never known existed. Nor did she stop to ask 
herself the reason for this feeling of light-hearted- 
ness. 

"A gentleman in the parlor, Mrs. Greenfield," the 
telephone operator whispered. 

" I'll be right down." 

In another moment, she had finished her dressing and 
walked gaily to the elevator. 

Eettle stood in a comer of the parlor, awaiting her. 
When he greeted her, he held her hand a little long, 
looked into her eyes very deeplj, then said : " I'm so 
glad jou thought of me in your lonesomeness, Mrs. 
Greenfield." 

He had looked deep indeed into her bright eyes. In 
five minutes, she thought they would go out to some caff, 
as he suggested. It was best after all that they should 
not stay in the hotel, because . . . 

" I understand," he smiled. " Let's go out to a little 
bohemian place I know of. You'll like it there, and Vm 
nearly starved." 

It was so good to be with him. He didn't treat her 
quite as kindly as did Greenfield, hut that was only a re- 
lief. There was a deference in his manner, and a certain 
tone in his words, which immediately made her feel close 
to him. 

When he helped her into the cab, he did it as if he 
knew how. And though there was a moment when his 
arm was quite about her, she did not mind it in the least 
— he did it in so careless a manner, she was sure he was 
unconscious of it. 

In the cah, he didn't speak of Greenfield, and he did not 
flatter her and compliment her, as Greenfield did. In- 
stead he talked of different things, an interesting man 
and wife episode that had just come to his ears, a de- 
DoiizodbvCoogle 



S46 Hagar RevOl^ 

licious bit of intimate gossip concerning a star at one 
of the Broadway theatres. He talked so veil, dwelt bo 
lightly upon the most intimate gossip, slithered so com- 
pletely over any chance for her embarrassment, that she 
felt comfortable and happy in his companionship without 
once searching for the reason. 

When Greenfield had talked this sort of thing to her, 
•he remembered his eyes would sparkle, as if he were 
proud of the privilege of being the only one who could 
talk of intimate things to her. And yet this man said 
much the same things, only Kettle, it seemed, was really 
made unhappy by being compelled to mention anything 
that might make her feel uneasy. 

Hagar thought over this comparison all the way to 
Thibeau's. 

When they reached the little Frenchman's place. Ket- 
tle took her up the narrow stairs to the second floor, 
where many small tables had converted a front bedroom 
into a dining parlor. 

They were greeted by M. Thibeau, who recognized 
Kettle at once. 

" Ah, bon soir. Monsieur. Je suis heureux de voos 
voir," he said, as he bowed them to a little table set in an 
alcove. 

After they were seated, and the proprietor's assistant 
had very graciously placed upon the table the plates, 
knives, forks and spoons, the polite Monsieur explained 
to them that just that day had some elegant escargota 
been obtained. 

For a moment Kettle and the man indulged in a con- 
versation concerning the dinner, while Hagar looked upon 
her companion with admiring eyes. It was the first time 
she had ever bad for a friend one who spoke a foreign 
tongue. 

As the waddling little Frenchman made his way to the 
DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar RmeUj/ S4fr 

kitchen, Hagar exclaimed gleefuU; : ** Oh, ian*t this 
just great I" 

" I come here often," Kettle replied. " There's aome- 
thiag cheerful about this place. And then you hardly 
erer meet any one." 

" You come here alone? " she questioned. 

"Sure. Why not?" 

** Oh, I shouldn't think any one vould want to go about 
alone. It's — so lonesome." 

Kettle pulled his chair closer to the table, and in the 
dim light from a flickering candle under a red shade, he 
looked steadily at her. 

" I wonder if you know what it means, Mrs. Green- 
field, to be in a place — like this, where everything is so 
quiet and so charming. You know I'd rather come here 
alone than bring some one who'd spoil the harmony of it. 
To me, coming here is like getting into — a bed of rose 
leaves — now, I wouldn't want to deaden the fragrance 
of the place by bringing in a simflower, or a daisy, would 
I?" 

She saw instantly the subtle compliment. 

" So, thinking I belong in f Aw flower-bed, you bring 
me?" 

" Exactly." 

*• Well, you say it very nice,*^ she laughed. 

" Oh, I mean it," he answered, and she noticed that he 
bad suddenly become very serious. 

After there had been nearly a minute of silence, broken 
only by his steadfast gaze into her eyes, she said: ''I 
would like to come to this sort of place oftener." 

** Why don't you? " 

Hagar thought for a moment. " Oh, he always wants 
to go to the big hotels, and parade me in front of the 

gang-" 

"Who do you mean?" 

DiailizodbvGoOgle 



S46 Hagar Rtvd^ 

" Why — Ben — Mr. Greenfidd." 

" And you don't like that? " 

She hesitated before she uiswered him. " Well — I 
■uppoBe I — " then she blurted on with her little jaws 
set hard, " No, I hate it. TAw is the kind of thing I 
like." 

The waiter brought in a big traj, filled with many lit- 
tle dishes ; small sardines, cold liver, onions, radishes, and 
sausage. 

After the man had arranged the tray on the table. 
Kettle asked him to bring some caviar. 

" What did you just say to him ? " Hagar asked, eager 
to pick up a word of French. 

" Oh, I told him to bring some caviar, along with the 
hors-d'oeuvre." 

"With the what?" 

"The hors-d'ceuvre — those things." He pointed to 
the numerous little trays. 

**0h, I see," she cried. 

She didn't really understand, but felt that she couldn't 
show before him any greater ignorance than he had al- 
ready discovered. At that moment she was even a bit 
ashamed of herself, and wondered why this suave, clever 
man should be attracted to her. , 

" Of what are you thinking? " he asked, as he saw 
her gazing, vacantly. 

" Oh, forgive me. I — was just thinking — I've got 
a lot to think about." 

Kettle regarded her beautiful eyes, her quaint, child- 
ish mouth, for what seemed to Hagar an interminable 
time. Then he said: "You mustn't think too much, 
child. You might change the current of things. You 
know everything goes along all right, if we only leave it 
alone." 



DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar ReoeUg 54d 

He was snuling at her kindl;. She could see how white 
were his well-formed teeth. 

"Don't you think so?" he asked. 

She thought a moment, then replied honestly : ** Oh, 
it's too deep for me. But it seems that there are so maoy 
worries, that if I just let things go alone, I get to worry- 
ing, thinking I ought to do something about it, or ought 
to worry more than I do. You know what I mean?** 

'* Sure,** he smiled. Xieaning over the table, he 
touched her hand gently, " Let's get a bite," he said 
earnestly, " I really haven't eaten anything since three 
o*clock." 

And for fear that he might observe that she had al- 
ready eaten, and not wishing to spoil their dinner, she too 
began eating, as If she were very hungry. 

He exclaimed : " We're both pretty hungry, aren't 
we?" 

** I should say we are." 

"How'd you like to eat here every night, like this?" 

" It would certainly suit me all right," she replied, 
looking up from her food. 

In good crisp French, Kettle ordered a quart of cham- 
pagne of some special vintage, which made the waiter 
smile and say : " Oui monsieur — oui monsieur," several 
times. 

" Youll drink a little, won't you, Mrs. Greenfield ? " he 
asked, after the waiter had disappeaied through a door 
at the back of the room. 

" Why, I don't mind," she answered. 

The dinner passed along nicely. The wine dulled the 
process of preliminary acquaintance, the food justified 
the practical side of their being together. 

" You know, people don't know how to live," he re- 
marked, as he finished a toast to the evening. ** Tbey 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



800 Hagar ReveUy 

fret and bother, and only hunt for situations that will 
make them miserable and unhappy. When the; come 
acrosB a little fun, they bunt up all the things that might 
happen, and they worry about that end of it so much, 
that when they really do anything a little out of the 
ordinary, it is more like a task than anything else. 

" They think about it too much, and then, of course, 
they have to carry off the job just like anything else 
that is planned." 

" You think people ought to go ahead, then, and do 
whatever they just happen to think of? " A vague sug- 
gestion of Paris was floating in her mind. 

"Why, yes. If they think of it, then it is all over. 
They wouldn't be happy unless they'd go do it." 

Hagar was silent for a long time. " I believe you are 
right," she said at last. 

Kettle helped ber to another glass of wine. 

" But let's not talk of life," as he raised bis glaas on 
a level with her eyes, and proposed a toast : " One never 
gets any place. We'll just be happy ! " 

She looked across the table at him. He was so kind 
looking, and his eyes seemed so soft and gentle, although 
there was about his mouth an expression of sadness that 
played back and forth around the comers. However, 
this added to his manner a good deal of strength. Then 
she noticed how well he was dressed. His shoulders 
seemed so narrow and boyish, and his white collar fitted 
him so snugly, and was so close together in front. 

She was deep in reverie, when a question from Kettle 
startled her — although she had been conscious of his 
eyes for a long time. 

" I wonder if you are happy, Mrs. Greenfield," he asked 
earnestly. 

She looked at him, a little pu2zled. 

" Why do you ask? " 

DiailizodbvGoOgle 



Hagar RfoeUy 861 

** Oh, I don't know. I ju8t am interested, I guess." 

Kettle saw her face cloud, and then settle into less 
happj lines, " Well, I suppose I am happy — sODoe- 
times." 

Gently be took her hand, remarking: **rm sorry. I 
didn't mean to make you unhappy by asking that." 
Thra he loosened his grasp very suddenly. 

" Oh, it's all right," Hagar said quickly. " I just 
haven't got very good control of my feelings, I guess. 
And I " — she looked away from him — " I have a lot of 
things to make me unhappy, if I stop to think of them." 

"What are theyp Tell meP" He leaned across the 
table. 

" Oh, I can't tell them — offhand." 

Her eyes fell to where she was gradually unravelling a 
silken cord that hung twirling from the wine list. A 
strange feeling was swelling and receding within her. 

Kettle kept politely away from her. His only show 
of affection had been the one gentle touch of her hand. 
It made Hagar wonder, in a bewildered way, if he didn't 
care any more for her than that. She wondered why he 
had jerked away from her so suddenly. 

" Is it that you don't want me to know P " she heard 
him say. 

" Oh, I — I do — want you to know." 

He said a little heavily : " You mean that? " 

Then he beckoned with his eyes to the waiter for an- 
other bottle of champagne. As he turned to her, he said 
again: "You mean that?" 

" Yes, I guess I do," she whispered. Her voice was 
full of resignation and weariness, as though she were tired 
of some inward struggle. 

" Then tell me." 

**0h, thafs not so eaij." 

" Tell me, child." 

DiailizodbvGoOgle 



SSC Hagar RtvOtg 

" Wdl — oh, I can't — tell you." 

He leaned over and seized her hand aomewhat roug^y. 
" You've got to tell me." 

" Well — you know — well, I'm not married to — ob, 
God ! I can't say it ! " 

. . . Hagar reached the Malvern Hotel at three 
o'clock the next afternoon, 

" Fve been out to New Rochelle," she told the clerk. 
*' Some friends took me out in a machine." 

When she reached her room, she sat by the window until 
dusk. 

Back and forth she rocked, taking deep, slow inhala- 
tions from a cigarette. 

There had come a change in her life. Something per- 
plexing — yet good — a nft in the lute. 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER XXVn 

The foUowing letter Hagar received on the tturd day 

after Greenfield's departure: 

" Jfy darting Qirl: 

I've got the dickens to tell yon. It's tiiis: I won't be East 
for three veeks, possibly fonr. Just this morning, I received 
a long wire from the old man, who says that I must go to 
'Frisco immediately, even if I leave things rest here nntil I 
get back. A big department store ont there, is going out of 
business, and he thinks it's a great chance to buy at less than 
forty cents on the dollar. What can I do ? Yon know how I 
feel aboot it, kiddie. I miss yon more than I can tell. At 
night everything is so empty, and I get so rotten lonesome. 
This is my last trip, yon can bet on that. 

Now, yon might think that you could join me, and that we 
could have a lovely time, going out to the Coast together. 
Well, darling, yon know I would do that if I could. But I'm 
known out there, and you can nnderstand — they know I'm 
not married. Anyway, it might make a fuss, and maybe queer 
things. So here are my plans: I am going to make up for be- 
ing snch a bad boy. Listen. Since it may I>e nearly a month 
before I get back, I want yon to pack up and get over as 
much of that Paris stunt as possible. You can do all that you 
want in six weeks, counting going and coming, and then I'll 
only have to be alone in New York for a couple of weeks after 
I get bade I don't believe I could stand it much longer than 
that, anyway. Yon know what New York is in the summer 
time. 

I know yon will think these plans O. E. You must send 
me a letter every day, or a night wire, and of course, a tele- 
gram when you sail. As you see, I am here at the Annex now. 
My address will be c/o St Francis Hotel, San Fraodaoo. 

"* , ,„ .Google 



864 Hagar Sev^jf 

As for money, I will write immediately and tell tlie Bank 
to fix op a letter of credit for jaa for one thousand dollars. 
How's that? Now, how moch do I think of my little bab^? 

Be sore and write me right away to 'Frisco. Also, don't 
forget the telegram. 

Your lonesome boy, with lore, 

B>M. 

P.S. — I think maybe I'll make it for twelve hnndred. 

Take one of the Hamburg-American boats, as we talked it 
over, I hear they've got a band on them. Just now the bell 
hoy brought me a folder. The Kaiterm Augutta Fietoria sails 
the 20th, and the Pretident Lincoln, another pretty good boat 
(I just called up the agent and he says it is very good, and not 
aa expensive as the KaUerin) sails the 24th. Let me heoi. 

Yon don't know how hard it is, to feel that we are both 
gt^ng farther away from each other. Kiddie, I never knew 
how much I missed you until now. It has set me to thinking 
a lot. We've been together a long while, and know each other 
pret^ well, don't we? And I guess we get along pretty weU, 
considering everything. Well, when I get back, I'm going 
to speak to yon about something. My guess is, it will snr- 
.prise yon a lot. But I can see now what kind of a life I was 
leading before we went together. Can you guess what I 



How she studied over it. In her mind was the question 
as to whether his goodness to her should make her stop 
her perfidy, or whether it was not now an easier thing to 
simply follow the plans he laid out for her. 

Somehow, she wished she had received that letter before 
going with Kettle. But now — what action could make 
it right? His weakness seemed all of a sudden a strange 
argument against her taking advantage of him. Like a 
huntsman she felt, who will not kill a bird unaware of his 
presence a few feet off, but who hesitates not at all to lull 
a score on the wing. 

It would not be very difficult to leave Battle. But 



Hagar Reveliy S55 

somehow, his clever attentions seemed to bring out some- 
thing big and honest in Greenfield's crude ways. 

For the whole day, she stayed in her room, trying to 
decide. Back and forth she reasoned. Was it right 
to take the money, just after she had been so false to 
Greenfield? Then, what good would any money do — 
if she did not lie to him? After all, she only wanted to 
leave, because he was boring her. And if he didn't give 
her the money, she wouldn't be able to go. Would she 
not be foolish to let a chance like this slip by? Why 
couldn't she take the money, have a good time in Paris, 
and then come back? Everything would be just the same, 
then, and if Greenfield would give her these trips once in 
a while, maybe she could hold out with him. That was a 
point she had never considered. It was really Greenfield 
whom she was doing a favor. 

Hagar thought of Paris now more pleasantly. She 
■aw that she had been a fool to worry about it, even to 
hesitate. It was a good deal like what Kettle had told 
her, about people who spoiled their pleasures for them- 
selves. 

It would be wonderful to go to Paris. She would go 
to the best hotel, to the opera, people would look at her 
and wonder who she was, always alone. Maybe — she 
wouldn't always be alone ... A soft voice, en- 
ticing, alluring, came to her as she pondered, as if blown 
along on the crest of the evening winds; and it said: 
" You fool, take advantage of the opportunity. Who 
knows what Paris will bring? Maybe- — " 

Still thinking, Hagar went out on the little stone bal> 
cony and looked at the blue sky, fading into grey. Her 
thouj^ts seemed to bring her into a limitless space, where 
torrents of ecstasy were bursting tumultuously over her 
in some giant waterfall. Standing there in the open air, 
•he felt queerly thrilled. 

DiailizodbvGOOgle 



SS6 Bagar ReveUy 

Hagar was never busier than she was the next iday. 
Having retired quite early, after telling Kettle she could 
not see him, she was very fresh and determined, and fol- 
lowed Greenfield's advice to the letter. By noon time 
she had booked her passage and drawn the money, as he 
suggested. A letter by special delivery had already 
reached the Bank from Greenfield. 

The afternoon she spent in numerous 6ttings of a 
mauve colored travelling suit, which she bouj^t ready- 
made in a Fifth Avenue shop. 

It was four o'clock in the afternoon when she reached 
home, but she began packing immediately. Exultant 
and happy, she danced about the room. ** I'm going to 
Paris, I am going to Paris." Each bit of clothing, as 
she placed it in the large cabinet trunk, sent back an 
echoed reply. 

By the night before she sailed, everything had been 
attended to. And to make sure that nothing would hap- 
pen to her letter of credit, she placed it in the bottom of 
her trunk, under some old shoes. Even then, she felt so 
uneasy about it, she made an extra trip to Hoboken, to 
see if the trunk had arrived at the docks. 

The steamer sailed at ten o'clock in the morning. 
They told her it would be a good idea, to be on the safe 
side, by getting on the boat much earlier, around seven- 
thirty or eight o'clock. 

So she planned to go to bed very early, and Bnished her 
dinner by seven o'clock. 

And only after Hagar had reached her room, and 
found herself unoccupied for the first time in three days, 
did she think of Kettle, and feel that she had not been 
fair to him. 

She was rather glad, then, when a bell boy brought up 
a message from him, written on the hotel paper. 

DolizodbvCoOglc 



Hagar Revelty 967 

" I'm downstaira. I can't nnderstand what's come over yov. 
Come down, or I'll come up." 

The boy was hardly out of the rooni before the tde- 
phone bell rang. 

"What's wrong?" he asked. "Will jou come down^ 
Hagar? " 

"I've been so busy. Where are you?" she answered. 

"I'm downstairs. Shall I come up?" 

" Oh, you ean't come up, but if youll wait. 111 come 
down." 

"Why — haven't — you seen me?" 

" Oh, really, I've been so busy. I'm going over — 111 
tell you when I come down." 

She paused for a moment, not knowing whether she 
was reidly happy after all at hearing from bim. Some- 
how, she wanted to be quiet, in the darkness of the room, 
wanted to think and dream of the trip. 

Her hat was not yet on, when a knock came at the 
door. Thinking it was the maid, she said: " Come in." 

Kettle quietly opened the door, came over to her, folded 
her in his arms for a heavy, passionate embrace, and then, 
quite as nonchalantly, took off his gloves and laid them 
on a chair with his hat and cane. 

" I couldn't see the use of hanging around down there 
in the parlor — with Ben in 'Frisco," he laughed. 

" I think he gets there to-night," she answered. " But 
you shouldn't have come up. I don't think it's good 
policy, do you? He's such good friends with the clerks." 

" Oh, it's all right. You've got a aitting-room here, 
anyway. They couldn't say anything." 

" You don't know, Ben," she answered. 

He thought she said it rather derisively, while to Ha- 
gar's mind there came a thought that it would have been 
impossible for her to go to bed so early, anyway. She 

DolizodbyGoOgle 



868 Httgar ReveUy 

added: " But, reaUy, Fm awfully glad to see jou, just 
the some." 

** I tried to get you a dozen times yesterday and the 
day before. They always said you were out." 

" Yes, I know. I've been busy getting things ready.** 

"Ready?" 

" Yes, I'm going to Europe.** 

" To Europe? Good heavens! What next? Are you 
really?" 

" Surely. Going for about six weeks or so." 

Kettle was too astonished to speak for a full minute. 

"Why — what's become of Greenfield?" 

Hagar explained everything to him, even telling how 
guilty she felt by taking Greenfield's money. When she 
had finished, Kettle seemed very disappointed. 

" I thou^t you were going to stay in town this sum- 
mer. I'll miss you," he said dejectedly. 

While Kettle talked to her, he noticed that she was 
very restless, going to the window and gazing in an ab- 
stract way. At last he said : " You've certainly been 
acting queer, Hagar. And now you're so restless. 
What's the matter with you?" 

She turned to him, exclaiming suddenly: " Oh, I don't 
know. I just wish you'd go downstairs. Somehow, I 
feel nervous having you up here." 

He took his cane and hat. " As you say. Where 
will I meet you?" 

" Down in the pailor. I'm sorry, but I believe I'd 
feel better." 

Just for a moment he looked at her. Then he put 
his arm around her. " My God, child ! " he exclaimed. 
" A man could be trampled on till his bones were dust 
by some other woman, yet there's something in you that 
would make him do over again all the ^lastly things.** 

At that moment came GreenBetd — tired, anxious, up 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Sagar RmeUy 869 

to the desk of the office downstairs. He greeted the 
derk: "Hello, Charlie." 

"Why, Bent I thought you were going to 'Frisco. 
Your wife just told us that to-day." 

" Changed my mind. Couldnt stay away." He 
laughed a little shamedly, and then asked if Mrs. Green- 
field was in the room. 

The clerk looked around, on to the hi^ cabinet-like 
key rack. " Guess she is — the key's not here. Have a 
good trip? " 

"Well, fair. Lost out on a big job lot in Trisco, 
right at the last minute. Don't know as that I'm sorry, 
thou^." 

The clerk gave an order to the porter about sending 
the grips up to the room. 

" Oh, better wait — say — five minutes," said Green- 
field, blushing like any schoolboy lover. " I just want 
to surprise her." 

He went into the elevator. 

" Howdy, Mr. Greenfield," grinned the black-faced ele- 
vator boy. 

" Howdy, Clarence." 

" Thought youse *ud be in Trisco by this time." 

" Changed my mind, Clarence." 

"Yessah, yessah. Fir floor, Mr. Greenfield." 

Ben Greenfield walked hurriedly and softly down the 
padded carpet to his door, and was on the point of open- 
ing it when a thought struck him that it would be a 
greater surprise to Hagar, if he came in through the bed- 
room door. And so, very gently, he walked back and 
unlocked the door at the other end of their suite. 

For a moment he stopped to better control himself, 
and then tiptoed to the curtain leading into the parlor. 
" She'll be in the rocker by the window, FIl bet a dtdlar," 
he said to himself. 

. L ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



860 Sagar ReveUy 

He pmheil aside the curtain. 

Outlined against the glare that com^ in through the 
window from an electric sign upon a near-bj building, 
there were two figures in a close, silent embrace. 

One impulse after another crowded in upon Greenfield's 
iderastated senses. 

Then he silently crept back into the bedroom. They 
had not noticed him. With a smothered cry he threw 
himself across the foot of the bed. 

In the next room, the figures in the dim light were 
parting. 

" I'll be in the parlor," said the man. ** Hurry." 

" 111 be down in just a minute," she answered. 

Possibly premonitions are exact combinations of 
thought molecules, possibly there is some psychic force, 
some moral, psychic life that presupposes the integrity 
of the brain. At least, there came to Hagar, as Ket- 
tle left her, a renewed feeling of impending calamity. It 
seemed to be at its height the moment she shut the door 
after Kettle. 

And it was in a state of bewildermmt and daze, of 
blind walking into tragedy, that she went into the room 
where Greenfield lay sobbing on the bed. 

She was not startled by his presence. She eren gave 
no sign of inward disturbance. It may have been the 
feeling of guilt, which, like a narcotic, had dulled her 
senses. 

For a minute, she stood at the side of the bed, regard- 
ing him. When he sat upright, and cried: **Good 
God," she turned and silently went over to the dresser. 

** Now, don't make a scene," she muttered. " Control 
yourself." 

She told herself that he would do her no harm. He 
was too afraid for himself and of consequences. In that 
<econd of reflection, she even lost a little respect for 

DolizodbyGoOgle 



Hagar ReveUg 861 

him when she realized that he had been too cowardlj to 
assault the other man. 

" Who • — was he — tell me ! ** he cried at ha, hoarsely. 

** Didn't you see him? " 

** No, it was too Jftrk-** 

** Then I won't tell you." 

"You damned — " 

The telephone gave a thin little ring, aiwl like a lost 
waif in a stonn, made its way into the room. 

Greenfield jumped up and ran to the 'phone, while Ha- 
gar did not move. "What's the use?" she was think- 
ing. 

At the 'phone, he cried: "Well, what is it?" 

Even Hagar could hear the little brass voice: **!■ 
this 621?" 

"Yes, 681." 

" Mr. Kettle left his gloves. He says to bring them 
down when you come." 

Greenfield dropped the receiver and turned on her sav- 
agely. 

"So — it's Kettle ! " he screamed at her. " Oh, to think 
— I never even suspected — " 

There was a little sneer on Hagar's face as she turned 
away. " I have nothing to say. You thou^t you'd 
play a trick on me. You see what you get." 

Then she turned on him savagely. 

"And I swallowed your story whole. I suppose I 
would have believed you — if you said you were going to 
Honolulu." She snapped her fingers defiantly in his face. 
" However, I care — that much," she remarked with the 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER XXVm 

Haoak'b show of defiance completely overwhelmed Green- 
field. For many minutes he was unable to word any one 
of the thoughts that came rushing into his brain. His 
face had become woefully haggard, his eyes circled by 
rings that were more than ever yellowish and discolored. 

" I'm going down to see Kettle," he said, as he found 
his way to the door, while Hagar stood silently by the 
window, not a muscle of her body betraying the anger and 
passion she felt. He had tricked her, she reasoned, and 
her sense of self-judgment at that moment was as im- 
pervious as a steel casket. 

It was the end. She saw that plainly. And she did 
not regret it. It had only been toleration on her part 
that had kept off just such a climax through all the 
months. 

For a time she stood perfectly rigid, wondering what 
would happen to Greenfield, and then as he failed to re- 
turn, and nearly an hour passed, she became nervoiu, 
and turned on all the lights in both rooms. 

When she could stand it no longer, she went to the 
'phone and managed to rouse the sleepy operator. 

"Is the clerk there P" she asked. 

"The clerk lives in Harlem," came the answer. 
" What's the matter? " 

"Oh — nothing." 

Of what good was it to tell ber troubles to the sleepy 
operator? 

Greenfield, drunken and sotted, came struggling into 
the room about three o'clock. He managed to gain 



Hagar ReveUy S6S 

the bed, and then threw himself across the white cover* 
utterly collapsed. His collar was torn off, his eyes wer« 
bloodshot, his face bruised, where he had evidently fallen 
to the pavement. 

Hagar stood looking at him. And then, when he be- 
gan to moan, she ran to the window. The faint grey of 
dawn was beginning to peep up behind the Times Tower. 

Her path lay ahead of her, cleared and free of all ob- 
stacles. When she actually realized how simplified mat- 
ters had become, she was even a little startled. He was 
drunk, it would last until noon at any rate. She would 
sleep a couple of hours, dress, get a cab, and be off^ 
for Paris. After all — how lucky! 

In a moment she had flung off her greyish tailored suit 
and undone her lustrous black hair. Then she took a 
pillow from off the bed, and lay down upon the couch in 
the parlor. 

At six o'clock she awakened spontaneously. The sun 
had already penetrated into the room and she drew the 
curtains down to keep out the light. Then, to reassure 
herself, she slipped into the bedroom. But Greenfield 
lay snoring in an anesthetic-like stupor, his senses still 
drowned by the frenzied drinking in which he had in- 
dulged. 

In a half hour, she had bathed and dressed, and packed 
her hand satchel, ready for departure. It was like a 
thief in the night that she stole out of the room, and 
she was already near the elevator when a troubling 
thought beset her that made her turn back. She re- 
membered that she had not stopped to see, at the very last 
moment, whether or not he was breathing. Supposing — 
that he had drugged himself, taken an over-dose, perhaps 
— would she not be accused, if they found him dead? 

This thought sent her back in a frenzy of fear and in- 
decision. She crept back to the room, and twarly flung 



864 Hagar RmeUy 

herself upon Greenfield's breast to listen to his heart. 

Thou^ his snoring was stopped, he was breathing 
regularly and deeply. 

"What in the world is wrong with me?" she ques- 
tioned aloud of herself, wondering if at the last moment 
she was losing her nerve. 

Again, she was in the hall, near the elevator, when she 
turned back a second time, actually deciding that it was 
not right, to her conscience, that she leave him without a 
word of parting. She wanted to start her journey with- 
out any conscience burdens. 

Hurrying into the room, she scribbled off at the writ- 
mg desk, a note: 

" I am leaving. Goodbye. You shonld never have deceived 
me so; it might have gone on all rlf^t, otherwise. Bat it's all 
over now. Anyway, I thank yon for tbe money." 

" That will teach him a lesson," she muttered to her- 
self. " He'U think I care." 

She put the note in his half-folded fingers, and aft«r 
an instant of reflection, which ended with a kisa on hts 
forehead, she ran out of the room. 

At tea o'clock the big steamer was groaning its passage 
through the waves, out into the open bay, while Hagar, 
alone in the confines of her gloomy little cabin, was won- 
dering why she felt so unhappy. 

But her feet were keeping accurate time with the in- 
harmonious measures that came down to her from the 
German band on the upper deck. 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER TCTCTK 

Hasax'b trip acrou the ocean was a dull affair. For 
four days on end, rain and dripping fog submerged the 
ship and its passengers in a heavy gloom. Then a period 
of rough veatber followed, quite as unrelenting in its 
pursuit of the plodding steamer. 

On the afternoon of the fifth day, she attempted to 
go into the larger salon, but a spell of sea-sickness pro- 
hibited this diversion. Until the day they were entering 
port, then, she lay in her little cabin — feeling that she 
would die of inertia and illness, unless calm weather 
came. 

When she stepped out upon the upper deck for the 
first time, she was palefaced and weak. And after half an 
hour, illness compelled her to go back to her bunk again. 
As she lay there, gazing dully at the wooden bottom of the 
unoccupied berth above her, she felt lonelier and more 
forsaken than she had been for many months. It seemed 
that some one were punishing her for being so antici- 
pative of this trip to Paris. 

However, late in the afternoon, her feelings improved 
so much that she dressed and again went upon the deck. 

And now was brought some color into the unceasing 
array of drab. 

The deck was slippery, and as she stepped oat upon 
it from the narrow doorway, she might have fallen had 
not some one at her elbow caught her by the arm and 
steadied her. 

Then her rescuer said: "It's a head wind, and the 
deck is like a skating rink." 

SM D,a,l,z.dbvG00gIe 



866 Hagar Reo^g 

When she haid recovered from her momentary fright, 
she reiponded to the man's courteous assistance. Loolc- 
ing at him with a smile, she said, very softly : " Yoa 
are very kind. I really might have hurt myself." 

He tipped his cap to her and started off in company 
of two others who had stood by waiting for him. 

On the promenade that lasted for nearly an hour, the 
man passed her a dozen times, with his eyes speaking 
acquaintanceship each time as he passed. When she sat 
down to rest in one of the deck chairs, it was only a mo- 
ment before he was by her side. 

"Do you feel all rij^t?" he asked. 

" Oh, yes. I didn't hurt myself," she replied. 

Rather hesitatingly, he went on : " It's cold for thia 
time of the year, isn't it? " 

" Yes, it is," she responded kindly. 

While Hagar felt inwardly pleased that some one had 
come along to whom she could talk, the roan was actually 
startled to find such beauty in his discovery. Her pale, 
soft face, outlined so enticingly through the folds of her 
filmy white veil, and her chin buried deep in the grey furs, 
gave her an appearance of piquant charm and grace that 
held him speechless. 

For a moment he stood silently at her side. " You 
must have just got on the boat," he then managed to say, 
with a broad smile. " I haven't seen you until to-day." 
As he settled himself into the chair by her side, he added : 
" I guess that is my misfortune." 

" Probably just the opposite," she laughed back, in a 
gay, soft musical tone. 

Before a half hour had passed, the man at her side was 
looking into her eyes and telling her, with silent messages 
from his own, of all the ardour and affection that lay in 
his being. 

It was just as the bu^e was sounding for dinner, that 

DolizodbvCoOglf 



Bagar ReoeUy 867 

be in a very casual way, asked if her husband would be at 
the dock to meet her. 

" Why, do you think I'm married P " questioned Hagar. 

" Oh, you are alone." 

** You should be more discerning," said she. " Any- 
way, if you will look on the register, you will see that I 
am still a Miss." 

" I beg your pardon," he lauded. 

Then she said: "Oh, I am just running over to buy 
some things. I am quite alone." 

Her reply very evidently pleased him. 

" Where do you intend stopping, if I may ask? " he 
ventured. 

" Why, I really don't know. Where is a good place? " 

Hagar had forgotten that discretion was necessary on 
this broad highway. Perhaps she cared very little about 
it. And the man, being a denizen of the world, misunde^ 
stood her credulity for the subterfugic innocence of the 
adventuress. Though his tones lost none of their gal- 
lantry, his manner changed. 

" I'm going to the Meurice," he said blandly. " Go 
there and register, and I'll look you up for dinner. Well 
do Maxim's afterwards." He looked into her face. 
"How's that?" 

** I think that will be very nice," she replied. 

" My name is Morgan Best — in case we should mist 
each other," he added. 

Hagar was leaving the tender the next morning, before 
she asked herself if she should have done differently. 
However, she felt rather happy about it, and realized that 
a terrible lonesomeness would have assailed her, had she 
not some one whom she knew, awaiting her. 

The ride through the open country was very tedious 
and hot, and it was night before she reached Paris. 

She could hardly realize that she was actually in Paris, 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



S68 Hagar RevOtg 

Her dreams, her most avaricial fancies bad ixAxa a def- 
inite form, had come true; a new vista was open to her, 
whose horizon ^as beyond a distance to which her mind'a 
eye could carry her. 

A porter placed her bag beside her in a fiacre, and the 
vehicle started off. 

Sitting motionless in the little carriage, ber body bent 
forward, her feet propped up on the cushioned seat op- 
posite, her lingers clasping and unclasping regularly, she 
became lost in the strangeness of her surroundings. As 
she passed through the narrow streets, with its rows upon 
rows of iron-shuttered windows, fear and anticipation be- 
came intermingled in her. The voices of the passers-by, 
the clatter of the horses* hoofs on the wet pavement, 
seemed to breathe to her an air of romance, or of mystery. 

There was invitation in the fog-bedecked entrances of 
every passing caf^, she clothed in garments of unreality 
every petty garf on, every newswoman on the street cor- 
ner. Overawed, exultant, and again queerly saddened, 
she sat on the wont cushion seat until she reached the 
front entrance of the Hotel Meurice, which like some 
gaunt shadowy silhouette, confronted her in the fog. 

For a minute there was some excitement ; more porters 
than necessary helped her from the carriage; the sump- 
tuousness of the corridor bewildered her. But it was a 
relief to find that every one spoke English. After a 
moment, it took even a stretch of her ima^nation for her 
to realize that she was not in the Astor or the Waldorf. 

Hagar had already bathed and dressed, and was lying 
upon the bed, when the telephone gave a short, emphatic 
ring. 

She jumped up and took the trumpet-like instrument 
from off its hook, a little puzaled to know which end she 
should put to her ear. 

** Yes, hello ! " she cried. 



'Bagar Rtvdly S69 

** Well, Mi«8 Revelly, you see your boatmnn is prompt." 

How thankful she felt to hear the voice of someone she 
knew. 

When they met in the ladles' parlor, the man seemed 
quite like an old friend. 

For supper they tried Marguery's, and afterwards, 
sought a weird Caf£ Chantant in the Latin Quarter. 

But somehow, the evening moved along slug^shly. 
She felt moody and tired, while a thousand thoughts 
bothered her. At midnight, when he proposed Maxim's> 
she asked that he take her back to the hotel. And 
the man, disappointed, even a bit disgusted to think he 
had anticipated so full an evening, and gathered so little* 
was quite willing to follow her bidding. 

" I'm sorry we rubbed the wrong way," he said, as he 
seated himself beside her in the cab. 

" I am, too," she replied wearily. " I don't know what*s 
wrong." 

" I guess you're Ured." 

" I suppose that's it." 

But when they reached the hotel, with its brilliant 
liji^ts reflected between the rows of marble columns, she 
became more animated again. It showed in her eyes, and 
he noticed it. 

" I'U tell you what well do," he said, as if taken by a 
sudden idea. " IVe got a parlor, so it's all right with 
the hotel, and you just come up. We'll have a glass of 
wine and a cigarette. I can took over the whole Tuileries 
Gardens from my room. Will you?" 

She thought for a moment. Somehow, she felt DO 
affection for this man. The evening had bored her. So 
what sense was there in prolonging it? She answered; 
" No, I think 111 go to bed. See you to-morrow." 

" As you say," he replied. 

However, when she reached her room and r««Iizad the 

L ,l,z<,d.vC00gIf 



S70 Bagar ReveUy 

lonelineBa, and saw with a startling understanding that 
she had not an acquaintance or friend in Fans beside this 
man, she decided upon a change of her plans. 

The strange noises that came up from the street, and 
the queer babble of the maids and beO boys from the hall- 
way, seemed to empha8i2e her lonesomeness. 

She reasoned for only a moment, before she threw an 
opera cape over her shoulders and went down into the 
restaurant. 

" Bring me a bottle of wine," she told the English- 
speaking waiter. 

" Would Madame desire a dry wine, or perhaps a Bweet 
champagne P " 

" Oh, bring me anything you want," she hurled at him 
— " Fommery — I guess." 

The waiter paused to again question her, but she 
waved him off. 

That night the degree of Hagar's understanding took 
a new plunge. For nearly the first time, she saw the 
exact meaning that had come with the past month. She 
was getting older, and what had she accomplished? She 
couldn't count as very much gained the small amount of 
money Greenfield had given her. After all, that was <mly 
an episode. And at hand was there not just the begin- 
ning of one more episode, alike in every detail, to the one 
with Kettle, or perhaps with GreeniBeldP There was 
nothing sure about her future, if she went on like this. 
And since she didn't dare go back to Greenfield, who else 
would there be after this man? What else was there to 
do anyway? 

Immersed in her self-interrogatton, Hagar was startled 
to fbd Morgan Best standing at her elbow. 

" You look like you'd lost your best friend," he com- 
mented. ** Come now, what's wrong? I thought you'd 
be deep asleep by now." He looked at his watch. ** And 
_,..■ . C.OO'MC 



Hagar ReveUy 871 

here I find you drinking wine — alone. What't the 
matter?" 

" Oh, I'm lonesome," she answered suddenly. 

" Thai's pretty good," he laughed. " You dismissed 
me half an hour ago." 

" I know it. I wanted to go to bed. But I couldn't 
stand it up there. Oh, I don't know what's wrong." 

He drew up a chair to the table, and beckoned to the 
waiter for a menu. 

" You poor child," he said kindly. " If you had been 
in this town as much as I have, you'd know what's wrong. 
There are too many people around that seem gay. That's 
it. That always makes one think they are leas happy 
than anyone else." 

He laid the card down upon the table, with some 
finality. " I'm going to cheer you up. I'm going to 
make you go over to Maxim's and then to the Bal Taberia 
— and if that won't do it, we'll take a ride in the Bois by 
moonlight." 

He had such a decisive way with him that Hagar gave 
in. It was past four o'clock in the morning, when she 
flung herself into bed, after a round of seemingly every 
caf4 in town. Best was a very pleasant fellow, after aU, 
and did not in any way show a desire to become more than 
passin^y friendly or intimate. 

Hagar saw him every day for nearly a week. It wtu 
something new to her understanding, to find a man ap- 
parently satisfied to dine with her, and yet not show a 
desire for greater acquaintance. Only at times did she 
feel that her innocent manner was making him hesitate. 

But one night, after they had been gayer than usual, 
he grasped her in his arms and told her that he loved her, 
at the same time proposing that they dine together in his 
room — to which she consented after a good deal of 
reluctance. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Vn Hagar ReveUy 

" And I want jou to wear something soft — and blue," 
he told her. " We'll have the evening all to oursdve*." 

Full of anticipation, Best arranged an elaborate menu 
for the next night. He told himself that his patience 
would be rewarded. 

His chagrin wag deep, therefore, when on the next day, 
about an hour before the time of Hagar*s coming, the 
telephone operator announced a visitor. 

It was a blow. The man was an old friend from 
America, whom he had not expected until the following 
da;. It seemed difficult to tell him that he could not see 
him until to-morrow, and when Miller Jarvis came into the 
room and grasped his friend's hand. Best was quite detei^ 
mined not to be robbed of his evening's pleasure. 

But the man was so sober and serious looking. Best 
faltered in his purpose for sometime. 

He was fairly tall, peihaps five feet ten or eleven, but 
his height was accentuated b; a certain gauntnesa of 
body; though he was not bony, there still lurked in his 
frame some hidden strength, some strange definiteness of 
purpose that became immediately apparent — a direct 
contrast to the suave manner of Best. His dark eyes, 
rather thin lips, and wide, high forehead, gave to his 
whole appearance a sense of mystery and dignity, that 
put Best, who had not seen him in some years, ill at ease. 

" Well, well, Miller, how are you? " Best cried, study- 
ing him. " How are youP " 

Jarvis greeted him very friendly, although he seemed 
uncomfortable as Best's debonair manner became more 
apparent. 

For half an hour they exchanged stored up confidences, 
and went over with eagerness, on the port of Best, and, 
evident seriousness on his friend's side, tiie diacussitni of 
post escapades. 

DiailizodbvGoOgle 



Hagar ReveUy 878 

Whfle they were talking, Miller told how his sister had 
met death bj some accident; a little huskily, he said: 

" It was hard to bear, Morgan. She was the only 
woman in my life, for whom I ever cared a straw." 

*' Why haven't you married in the long atretch of 
time? " asked Best. 

Miller replied : " They don't want an old codger like 
me, my friend." As he spoke, he regarded Best's well- 
dressed figure. " They want an Apollo like you, Morgan, 
and some aoft-spoken words in their ears — they want to 
be told of the humming birds that flutter in the gardens 
of ]^ysfe, and all that. I never was a good hand at that 
sort of thing. Anyway they don't want a cowboy for a 
husband." 

" Youll get caught, however," commented Best, " be- 
cause you believe in marriage. I think you'd like to be 
harnessed." 

" What makes you think that? " 

" Oh, I don't know. You seem bo serious now. I 
wonder what's happened?" Best wondered too, if now 
was the time to inform his friend of his inopportune en- 
gagement. 

The man laughed. " Oh, Montana is trying to send 
me to Congress. That's enough to make any person 
serious." 

"Then youll have to get married," said Morgan. 

" How about you? " asked Jarvis. 

" Oh, I never will. Vm too fond of my freedom. I 
woudn't marry the prettiest, cleverest woman in the world 
— for about five years, anyway. But you are different. 
Miller," he added. " I think it would do a lot for you — 
make you President of the United States, or something 
like that." 

They both lau{^ed heartily at Morgan's statement. 

DolizodbvCoOglc 



374 Hagar ReveUy 

"■ All right, 1*11 marry then, for political reasons," aaid 
Miller, taking a cigar that Best offered him. 

And now Best undertook to tell his friend of the small 
dinner partj that had been planned. 

He painted in lurid words the expected outcome of the 
affair. 

" She's a strange creature," he went on, ** and the 
remarkable part of it is, that we are going to have this 
little tlte-&-t$te when I haven't done more than take a 
harmless kiss from her forehead. But to-night, mj 
friend . . ." 

His ecstasies ceased as a knock on the door announced 
the coming of a f at-black-haired gar^on, with the advance 
guard of linen and silver. 

After he had left, Morgan continued : ** But Fm in a 
quandarjr about you. It seems a shame for us not to be 
together jrour first night in Paris, and I know it would 
queer things if joa stayed very long. It would get late, 
you know — " 

" How foolish you talk," Jarvis interrupted, at the 
same time taking hold of his hat and gloves. " I'll go to 
my room. I've got a lot of letters to write. Surely you 
need not worry about me." 

But Best insisted, after a moment's hesitation, that he 
stay for dinner. He could make his exit after the Uttle 
feast, and it would be quite the same. 

After much argument. Miller agreed to stay. Best 
seemed rather proud now that he should have the chance 
of meeting Hagar. " She is a radiant beauty, old man," 
he said. " I really do want you to see her." 

So it was that Hagar found the two men awaiting her 
in the soft twilight of the little parlor, and as she per- 
ceived the second figure, she gave a sudden start, and 
paused, with downcast eyes. She had dressed as Morgan 
wished. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Bagar RttMp 876 

A long, dinging robe of smooth, blue material, partly 
veiled bj a ailverj beaded shawl about her shoulders, 
made her seem as nearly ephemeral as the moon's rays 
that came in through the square, paned doors, leading on 
to the balcony. At her breast, a small cluster of violets, 
threw into daring relief the paleness of her face, and the 
lustre of her black hair. 

Best saw her hesitate and quickly rose to greet her. 

As he grasped her hands, he said: '*You are so good 
to come." 

Then he turned to his friend. " Miss Rerelly — Mr. 
Miller Jarvis, an old friend that I knew in the West, in 
my camping days." 

Hagar bowed and smiled gently. But there was in her 
a great feeling of anger and rebellion. What was this 
man doing? Why had Morgan kept him? Was it to 
show her off? 

Dimly conscious, however, that Best was watching her 
and waiting for an answer, she said, as sweetly as 
possible, " I'm so glad to meet you, Mr. Jarvis." 

The meal was set upon a small table, placed near the 
large double windows. And after their cigarettes and 
cordial. Best drew up to the window a large cushioned 
divan. 

" Let us sit here and look out of the window,** he 
said. 

T^en a very strange thing happened. Hagar's eyes 
were fastened on Morgan's friend, and try as she could, 
there was something about the man's strong face that 
made it impossible for her to change her glances. All 
through the dinner, she had listened with interest to his 
soft, low-spoken words, and his stories about hardships 
and endurance. And now, when he arose to go, she dis- 
turbed Morgan Best by her strenuous objections. "I 
wish you would stay,*' she begged directly of Jarvis, while 



via Hagar Revelly 

Best, who was arranging th« divan with pillows, began to 
see the possible outcome of his blithe antlcipatioDS. 

For a moment he realized that there was hardly a way 
oat of it. For each excuse, made by Miller, was met by 
a strange impetuous demand on Hagar's part that he 
stay. 

" Yes, I want you to stay,** she said 6rmly. " Of 
course you're not spoiling the evening. Mr. Best wants 
you, too." She called to Morgan: "Don't you?" 

What could he sayF Resignedly, lost in a peculiar 
contemplation of the person whom he had looked upon as 
a woman of the world, Best submitted. 

That night, Hagar lay awake until the vegetable carts, 
with their loads of Paris rations, rattled throu^ the 
streets. 

She couldn't understand what had come over her. 
With each spoken word of this tall, thin man, she had felt 
a yearning for quiet and peace, that puzzled her. 

He seemed to fill her with a desire to be good. In her 
imagination she pictured herself being taken care of by 
some one tike him, and living quietly, and trying to make 
him happy. A man like Jarris could give her a home, and 
take away all the little worries. 

Somehow, all in the instant, she decided to win him. 
A new free life, people who would know nothing about 
Greenfield or Herrick — • what a chance ! 

As she lay dozing, Hagar offered up a dozen prayers, 
because Best knew nothing of her former life, and had not 
entered upon any intimacy with her in their short ac- 
quaintance. 

The next day she met Morgan Best in the lobby, and 
he questioned her closely. He was somewhat angry, and 
in the queer vernacular of the worldly man, told her she 
had " gone back " on him. 
I Hagar made no direct reply to his accusation, hot after 



Magar RftmUy STt 

a moment of hesitant self-questioniDg, said to him in a 
low whisper that very mucb startled him : " I have fallen 
in love with your friend." 

" You have — fallen — in love with lum 1 " 

" Yes," she replied bravely. 

He looked at her curiously. 

" Well, you're a funny child." 

" Fm sorry. I can't help it," she answered slowly. 

A little quizzically, Best said : " But, I can't under- 
stand. You mean you're seriously in love with him? 
He'a old enough to be your father." 

" I can't help that. I don't know what it is. I never 
felt for anyone else the way I do for him." 

Best laughed. " Well, I suppose I must tell him, then P " 

" If you want to," she answered. '* If you don't I 
suppose I will." Then she went on : " It's no use for me 
to explain. You wouldn't understand. You look at 
women as we do — well, our powder-puffs, for instance. 
Use us, and then when you get what you want, put us 
back in our little boxes for some other time. He's dif- 
ferent. Oh, if you only knew how sick I am of all of 
it!" 

*' Supposing, little one," the man said, half tauntingly, 
" that he doesn't care for you? " 

" 111 make him care for me," she replied decisively. 

That evening, when he met Miller for dinner, Morgan 
Best told him all that had happened. 

" She's fallen in love with you, old man," h« said 
resignedly. 

Miller laughed boyishly. 

" But she has, all right." 

" Well, I'll have to get her out of the notion, I 
suppose." 

" Why not go ahead? " suddenly thought Best. 

"Why? Because she's your lady, I gueu." 

L ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



<7S Uagar Rev^y 

Only after a time was Miller convinced that Hagar 
was in earnest with her sudden avowal. 

They both laughed about it, but the next mornings 
when Miller was alone in big room, he thou^^t of Hagar 
and himself, and of his life so devoid of the diversionB of 
other men. 

At night he took Hagar to dinner, and, in his presence, 
found she was a transformed being. She was demure, 
eager, naive, petulant, like a child. Everj.move of her 
hand, every gesture, spoke of innocence. 

" I wouldn't know you to-night," he said to her kindly. 
"You're so different. Mr. Best said" — be hesitated, 
wondering why he could not word his thought differently 
— " that you would be glad — to go to dinner with me." 

** He told you the truth," she stammered, while her 
dark eyes rested on him. 

He searched her face in torn. 

" Little girl," he hesitated, " you wouldn't find any 
fun with a sad lot like me." 

Had she not controlled herself, she would have burst 
out into a wild depiction of her longings, of her desire 
to lead a new life. But she saw this would necessitate a 
confession of her past. So she contented herself with 
the simple statement that she liked very much his grave 
manner. 

They had a quiet, pleasant evening together, and on 
parting, the same wild beatings in her heart, and the 
strange thoughts and resolves in her mind, were still 
with her. 

After Hagar left him, Jarvis went apstairs to Best's 
room. 

"Well, did you have a good talk to-night P" asked 
Best. 

" I found her a charming little woman," Miller an- 
swered. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar ReveUy 879 

" She is an interestiog sort, itn't she? " Best looked 
quizzically at Miller, then went on : " In all the time IVe 
known her, she hasn't so much aa jjiven me a Mss, volun- 
tarily." He spoke with a knowing air. " But I know 
ahe goes in for that sort of thing. You can't tell me she 
doesn't She must have suddenly determined to be good, 
I guess — change her game, or something along that line. 
Why, I never saw any one act so contrary to first un- 
pressions.** He rejected a moment, saying half to him- 
self, " And I told her a story about my not thinking of 
getting married. So, she couldn't have had a plan like 
that in her mind with me." 

" Maybe you don't understand women," Miller an- 
swered. 

** Maybe. At least, I knew I couldn't let her unde^ 
stand that I was even suspicious. I know this much: a 
man can't let a woman know that be understands her. If 
he does, she will never have in him after that a place of 
refuge for her vanities. That means life to most women." 

"You do know women, don't you? With your knowl- 
edge you ought to have a lot of them falling to their 
knees for you." 

** You know me better than that. But there is no reason 
why this girl should not be more true to herself. Why, 
you ought to have seen how wise she was on the boat. 
She didn't even know the name of a hotel in Paris." 

*' Maybe that leaa innocence," Miller protested. 

** Oh, I don't know — I don't know. At least, since 
you have come on the scene, something has determined 
her to land you. Maybe it is the family in financial dif- 
ficulties." 

" And if there is? " 

"Well, that's her game, then. She's determined to 
land something over here. It wouldn't be the first time 
such a thing happened in Paris." 

DiailizodbvGoOgle 



HiDer tmiled. ** Yon don't know her. Tour Bfc has 
been too fluperficial, Morgan. All of us have the ri^t to 
our ideal», and their fulfilmmt. I've had mine," he went 
on reminiscentlj. 

** Yes, work jour head off, get dd for an ambition, and 
whoi you BpJU get it, jou will have lost all ability to 
ctgoy it.** 

" Which may be true. Bat if I lived your life I'd go 
crazy, realising that each day had been only a selfish one 
for amusement. No, I believe I've solved the problem; 
the joke of life is too great — too colossal, to look at it 
in a whimsical fashion." 

** You are too serious, MiUer," remarked Best. 

** We've got to be serious to get on," Miller continued. 
" I believe the whole secret is in finding serious expression 
for our inner motives and yearnings." 

They were silent for a time, Best remaining in his chair 
by the httle smoking table, while Miller walked over to 
the window, and glanced down on to the street. 

As he leaned slightly over the window ledge, he said: 
** Morgan, see all those people down there? Well, I'm 
one of theia, and if I lived your life, Fd feel somehow that 
I was cheating." 

** Yes, I know how seriously you take the proletariat. 
Miller. It will make you a Senator some day, if you 
keep it up." 

** No matter where it takes me, 111 get happiness out 
of it," exclaimed Miller, leaving the window for the 
moment and coming over to the smoking table. 

" Why, you don't know how friendless people really are. 
They have no one to be sad about, except themselves, and 
they don't have enough understanding to fake to them- 
selves an appreciation for inadequate objects. Yes, I 
feel the thing, and if I get a little saddened by doing so, 
it is only because my own good luck and happiness are 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



Hagar ReoeUy ddl 

emphasized by their misfortune. It's enough to make 
any one humble." 

" How about the women down there, who are walking 
the streets? I suppose jou have a bond of friendship 
for them, tooP " 

" Poor little creatures, most of them are mentally 
more virtuous than their sisters who promenade the Bois 
on Sunday mornings." 

" I don't understand," exclaimed Beat, now really in- 
terested for the first time in his friend's half soliloquy. 
" You think them virtuous ? " 

" Virtue and purity are names that are not understood. 
Is not the girl of seventeen who loves, and loving, ^ves, 
at the height of her purity? You will say she was — 
before, perhaps ; but I tell you virtue is not like a piece of 
rubber that you may stretch, and give the different an^es 
different names. Oh, no, the virtuous woman is always 
virtuous — virtue is not an affair of the body, it's an 
affair of the mind. It's only the degree of suffering that 
differs." 

" You mean virtue and truth are the same? " 

" Yes. Virtue, purity and truth have the same mean- 
ing. The woman of the streets is oftttmes of greater 
purity of mind than the clever woman who hides her 
throbbing mental subterfuges behind the curtain in her 
boudoir. And these lies are called virtue by her friends. 
Yes, Morgan, nowadays it is only hypocrisy that the 
world calls virtue." 

He turned to his friend, who had been listening atten- 
tively to his preachment. 

" Am I not right ? " he asked pointedly. 

" Oh, it sounds right the way you say it — except that 
you are too sad over it, and life is too short for that." 
He sighed deeply. ** I am like Gautier, I guess — not 
being able to prolong my life forever, I'd rather die of 



88S Hagar ReveUy 

pleasure than of old age. Didn't he say he was too well 
acquainted with the emptineBs of everything arcjnd him 
to be eager for very long for any one thing? . . . 
Yes, that's the way I feel about it. Then, what is the 
use of reasoning, anyway? Reason is only an argument' 
to keep you from doing what you moat want to do. I 
just stay happy — if I can. Some day, I suppose the 
cloistered part of my soul will go careening to the skie*> 
with the rest of my less worthy self, just the same." 

"And BO, that's your misEion in life, is it?** aslced 
Miller. 

" Oh, well, if you want to call it a nussion. To me it 
seems more like a kind of philosophy to pull one through 
the big game. However, you can certainly preach. 
Miller." Best walked out onto the little balcony. " I 
don't know about the Senator so much, now," he called 
back. " You ought to be a miniBter." 

Miller waited until he came back into the room, then, 
rather earnestly, looked directly into his friend's face. 
" You know, Morgan," he began, " if I told you what my 
mission was, you'd laugh at me. And yet it has as much 
philosophy in it as your remark." 

** Tell me." 

" Well, it IB a strange idea. But what I should like to 
do, beyond all else, would be to make people legs happy. 
The majority of people are too gay, too happy over 
trivialities. I would make them see the tragic environ- 
ment in which they live, make them think and understand, 
and realize the situation more fully. In other words, 
make them less happy, because if one looks at the per- 
spective of life without any studying of its make-up, one 
is hound to be unhappy. 

" If they felt this way, it might make them understand 
bow unstable and upon what flimsy material is life builded 
— and they mig^t stop to thing of someone else beside 



Hagar ReveUy ft88 

thoiuelTeB, might stop to do some good for someone else. 

** Happiness is the most selfish emotion in the worid. 
Ever; other emotion that yoa maj name takes someone 
else into consideration ; but one can be happ; quite alone, 
even over the miser; of someone else." 

" You are thinking of meP " interjected Best. 

" Not I^ not. Since we started talking on this sub- 
ject, I'm only voicing my attitude towards this sort of 
thing. This is what other people call my sadness, I sup- 
pose. But I am only trying to prove to you, Morgan, 
that it is the only real kind of happiness possible." 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER •gig'g 

Haoak saw Miller Jarria every da; after their dinner 
together, and while he found her a delightful companion, 
without any great amount of intellectual store, he also 
sav in her a strange gift of intuition, which always put 
him instantly at ease. She seemed to divine his thoughts 
nearly, as she would sit and listen to his talk with wide- 
open eyes. Never in his life had he encountered so sym- 
pathetic a companion. He was actually beginning to 
grow fond of her, and often wished he could return the 
love which she so openly confessed for him. 

However, there was something indescribable that de- 
terred him from having absolute confidence in her. He 
could not word the thought, and would even feel at the 
moment, that he was doing her injustice ; but a half dozen 
times or more, when he had been studiously silent, gazing 
on her features, he would see a sudden change come over 
her face, a transformation in every line, as if her mask 
had been thrown off. And in these moments, he would see 
cruelty and bitterness, instead of the childish trust, which 
was her usual expression. 

He grew to watch for these times, and it was not long 
before he found that instead of becoming more infatuated 
with her innocence and goodness, or more engrossed by 
her affection for him, he was using her as a study, or a 
model, for the solving of this new human problem. 

The days passed on without Hagar making any great 
headway, and as he seemed to become more disinterested, 
she decided to take a decisive step. 

Instinctively she felt that he was doubting her, and 



Hagar ReveUy 885 

though he continued so courteous, and showed a willing- 
ness to be with her constantly, he never changed his treat- 
ment of her to one that was more loverlike. 

" Do you trust me? " she asked him one evening. 

" My dear child," he answered, " of course I do." 

" And you know I am — just the way I am? " 

He looked at her steadily. " I don't quite under- 
fltand." 

" Oh, I mean if you believe in me? " 

" Surely, I do." 

" Then why do you act so kind to me all the time, and 
gentlemanly? We've been together enough." 

" Well," he replied nervously, " you are alone here in 
Paris. I'd be a poor sort, wouldn't I, not to recognize 
that?" 

She turned the subject off into other channels, but that 
night she stood for long minutes in her room, saying to 
herself, " So that's it." He had realized her state of un- 
protection, and would not take advantage of it. For a 
moment it made her angry with him. Surely he was more 
foolish than other men. 

Then she thought that perhaps he doubted her on the 
same grounds. Why hadn't she thought of an expla- 
nation before? She was, indeed, alone in Paris, without a 
friend to whom she could introduce him, and her only ex- 
cuse for that was a quest for some gowns. It was time, 
she told herself, that she fixed it up. 

Up to this period, she had hardly thought of Thatah. 
But it was only a moment later that she sat down at the 
desk, and with a controlled desire to shout for happiness* 
impulsively penned ofF a letter to her sister. 

Dear Thatak: 

Yon are coming to join me. I am here in Paris, Hotd 
klTearice, as you see above. I will explain when I see yon. It 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



S86 Hagar RtveUg 

ifl important that yon do this, Thatsh. I am in too Ug a hmry 
now to explain. Only yott most come. Bring your best things 
— and be prepared to stay two or three weeks. I'll meet yon 
here at the station. Yon most come, you must — it is the 
most important thing that has ever happened to me, and yoa'll 
be as happy abont it as I am. I wait word by cable, telling 
me the name of the steamer. 

Your affectionate sister, 

Haoab. 
P.S. — As soon as I get yoor cable. 111 caUe back (250. 
Get a dainty tailored suit of some kind. Spend $75 on it, 
and take the first steamer yon can get 

That night, over a small, ebony-hued coffee in the grill 
of the Meurice, Hagar quite casually, and apparently 
most undesignedly, told Miller that she had just received 
word that Her sister, who at the last moment had found it 
impossible to join her, had written that she would come 
orer in a few weeks. 

" You can't imagine how relieved I'D be when she 
comes," Hagar explained. " When I came over, it was the 
first time in my life I was ever away alone. Why, I never 
came up on deck untO the last day, I was that fri^tened. 
Mr. Best can tell you." 

It made her heart cry with joy when she perceived a 
look of approval spring into the eyes of the man beside 
her. 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER XXXI 

Wbasied b; the continual struggle, Thatah was on the 
verge of forsaking the unresponsive idealism to which she 
had so long clung, and of yielding to Graveur's prosaic 
offer of marriage, when Hagar's letter came. 

She had felt herself a creature of ill fate for a long 
time. Through all her observations and analjsis she 
could see no loophole of escape, no possible opportunity 
for realization ; aU was drab, the usual order of the undii 
versi^ed, monotonous ; she experienced no longer the mag- 
ni^ed petty emotions. Hagar*s letter found her tired, 
calloused, complaisant, and willing to bend her head in 
submission. 

How it hurt her to realize this no one knew. Even the 
passing of one day into the next, which had always 
brought her such poignant unhappiness, troubled her 
very little now. She did not love Graveur at all, though 
there was a certain comfort in knowing he cared for her. 
When she realized that instead of excitement and happi- 
ness, she was looking forward now only to being com- 
fortable, she would shut her eyes to it, and reason that 
she had no right to expect anything more from life. 
Every woman, she decided, must come to understand that 
some day. 

The letter from Hagar came to the office of the Opera, 
and as Thatah hastOy tore open the envelope, she ex- 
claimed to her employer: "Why, it's a letter from my 
sister ! " Then she saw the Paris postmark. 

" I didn't know your sister was in Paris," said Gravmr. 

"I — didn't either," she answered. 
SS7 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



888 Hagar ReveUg 

He observed that she seemed completely bewildered bj 
the knowledge. 

Thatah read and re-read the impetuous scribbling, re- 
peating it over to herself, and wondering about different 
bits of the letter. All day she thought about the course 
she should pursue. At last she sought Graveur for 
advice. 

"What am I to do?" she asked. "She says I miut 
come, that it is most important." 

" Do you If ant to go? " he questioned. 

" I don't know," she said, perplexedly, ezperieDcing 
at the moment a feeling of elation at the very suggestion 
of a trip to Europe. 

Graveur looked at her, and as if he suddenly under- 
stood, said: "Perhaps I can do without you for a few 
weeks, Thatah." Then he sought her eyes, saying: **I 
will do without you, Thatah, if you wish it." 

She muttered : " You are so good to me." 

" I am very fond of you," he answered, and uumediately 
outlined a plan to teach the stenographer her different 
duties. 

Thatah thought of the matter the whole night, but the 
next day found her quite as far away as ever from a de- 
cision. However, she did inquire about the sailing of the 
different steamers. It was now Wednesday, and on Sat- 
urday one of the moderate priced steamers of a Grerman 
line was sailing. Knowing this, brought her nearer to a 
decision than she supposed, and Friday found her, all 
breathless with expectancy, with little Edric at her side, 
and Graveur trudging along with a grip, hurrying up the 
broad gang-plank of the vessel. 

A few hours later, amidst the groaning and creaking 
of the vessel as it left the dock, she sailed for Europe. 

Standing upon the upper deck Thatah caught a last 
glimpse of Graveur, as he ungraciously squeezed himself 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



Hagar Rev^p 889 

nearer the raOuig. She waved a Usb to hiro, then held up 
iittle Edric's hand, crying : " See, dearie, wave to Mr. 
Graveur," and she took the pudgy tittle fiat and shook it 
up and down in the direction of the fast disappearing 
figure on the wharf. 

Seven days later, after a voyage that brought back to 
her cheeks some of their lost color, and to her soul a good 
deal of her former beliefs and hopes, she made out 
Hagar's figure in the crowd that came up on a tender, as 
the boat steamed into the harbor at Cherbourg. 

Finally, the tender was manceuvred into position and 
Thatah went down the stairway into the restless little 
boat alongside. Hagar had not perceived her until she 
ran up, quite close to her. She could hardly believe that 
the phantasy of her thoughts should have really taken 
life, and brought Thatah to her. 

" Oh, Thatah," she cried, '* you dear. I'm so glad, so 
glad!" 

** I was afraid you wouldn't get my cable," exclaimed 
Thatah, at the same time noticing the wonderful gown 
Hagar wore, and the heightened color upon her lips and 
cheeks, which went beyond any effect brought on by the 
salt air. 

For a moment, both stood looking at each other, quite 
unable to speak. 

Then Hagar gave Thatah's hand another squeeze. 
" You are a dear to come. I was so afraid you wouldn't." 
She went on rampantly : '* Oh, Thatah, I've got news, such 
wonderful news. I'm so happy — and I've been good, 
too. You wouldn't know me. But you'll understand 
later on." 

They were squeezed by the crowd, and there was much 
noise about, and Thatah, too completely puzzled to in- 
trude a remark, intended to let her go on talking. 

But, at that moment, the stewardess, who had brought 
DoiizodbvCoogle 



S90 Bagar Rmetttf 

little Edric from the tender, moved a little doser to 
Thatah, and Hagar, for the first tinK, noticed the prett7 
rouad face of the boy. 

Her tips parted, she gripped the arm of Thatah in a 
vice-like hold, and not a vestige of color remained in her 
face beyond that of the artificial coating.- 

" My God 1 " she whispered, as if not daring to word 
her suspicion, "Thatah, is — is that — Edric P" As 
she searched Thatah's face for answer, the mask of white 
covered her own even more emphatically. 

Then the woman at Thatah's side wanted to know if 
she should still remain, while the baby, with its blonde 
mass of hair and great blue eyes, showed a desire to get 
into Thatah's arms. 

" Edric? Why, Hagar, of course, that's little Edric," 
■aid Thatah, giving the youngster an affectionate glance. 
" You didn't expect me to leave him alone in New York, 
did you?" 

Hagar gave a wild stare into the crowd, and as she 
failed to answer, Thatah became alarmed. " Why, 
Hagar, what's the matter? " 

" Oh, my God ! I didn't think of Aim." 

"I don't understand. Isn't it all right? Why do 
you take it so hard? You — you need not let him 
know." 

Hagar turned to her. "Who know?" she exclaimed* 
wondering why Thatah should be aware of Miller Jarvis. 

" Why," replied Thatah, " Greenfield, I suppose." 

" Greenfield! " The words were started from Hagar's 
throat in a coarse, heavy laugh. " Why — did you think 
Greenfield was here with me?" 

Thatah, more bewildered than ever, looked at Hagar. 
** Why, Hagar, of course I did. What else could I 
thiak ? How else could you get here P " 

Hagar's lips were pressed thin for a moment. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar ReveUp 891 

"Wliat aid you think I wanted ym for, Thatah?" she 
asked on. 

" I didn't know. Your letter was imploring, Hagar. 
I just came any way." 

"And you thought that it was something concerning 
Greenfield and me P " 

"Of course I did." 

One of the attendants from the boat came up end gave 
them some directions about landing. 

As soon as he left, Hagar began earnestly: "HI tell 
you the truth, Thatah. I want to do it before we go 
any farther. This is the funniest thing I ever heard of. 
We're older now, both of us, and I've learned a good deal 
in the last year or so. I've learned the world doesn't 
care much what happens. In fact, everything just 
happeru and you've got to get the most of what falls to 
your lot. That's one of the reasons I'm here. I used 
Greenfield a little bit. He paid my way over — and 
that's all. Everything is a thing of the past between us 
now." 

"You mean that you are alone hereP" 

" Sure." 

" And that you're not going back to him? ** 

Hagar nodded her head. 

" What — about a divorce then P " 

"A divorce? A divorce from whom?" 

" Why, from Greenfield." 

Hagar broke into a laugh, saying loud enough for 
those close to her to hear : " Why, you silly. I'm not 
married to Greenfield." 

They were nearing the shore now. Passengers were 
crowding against the raOing, hunting for relatives or 
friends, the white-coated porters were gathering together 
the luggage in their charge, a. bass voiced official ff'as 
shouting an order, while another tall man in a Uue coat 



8M Hagar ReveUy 

was giving orders to some tourists of the Cook Companj. 
But the sisters did not change their position. Entirely 
oblivious of their surroundings, they both stared bard 
into the countenance of the other. 

"You lived with him, and never married him?" Tha- 
tab said in a whisper. 

Hagar shook her head. Very carelessly, she answered : 
" Yes, that's it. I lived with him for nearly a year, and 
then I got sick of him, and fixed it so I could come over 
here." 

She took Thatah's hand. " Listen, Thatah,'* she com- 
menced, ** we can't stand here talking like this, even 
though there is so much to say. I'm pretty much upset. 
I can't tell you bow I feel about — your bringing Edric 
I know you didn't do it on purpose, though sometimes I 
get to thinking all kinds of ways about you. Some- 
times I blame you for making me think the way I do. 
You remember what you said, when I was sick, about it 
being all ri^t if I loved Herrick? Anyway, that isn't 
what I want to talk about now. You know we're both 
victims of a hard-luck family. Iliings haven't come our 
way at all. You know that. Of course, we're both very 
different from each other, end if you think I'm wrong, in 
looking at things light-heartedly, maybe I think you're 
wrong to be so serious about everything. Anyway 
things have taken a turn now. I've met a man, a wonder- 
ful man, who is just right for me, and I'm crazy to settle 
down." Her voice softened somewhat " He doesnt 
care so much for me — yet, but I'm going to win him. I 
guess maybe I'm in love. I don't know. At least, I 
think about it all the time.*' 

The first shock of their quarrelsome meeting was 
passed, and now Hagar explained the reason for her let- 
ter. When they had landed, and were on .their way 
through the cobbled streets to the one important hotd 

DolizodbyGoOgle 



Hagar ReveUjf 008 

of the town, there was something of the old feeling in 
Thatah that had possessed her when she took Edric awa; 
from Hagar's garret chamber. 

B; the next morning everything was arranged aa Ha- 
gar desired. They would get comfortably fixed at the 
Meurice for a few days, and then would seek a smaller 
and cheaper place; the child was an adopted son of a 
friend of Thatah's, who had recently died; the truth 
would be told about their parents. 

To every idea Hagar advanced, lliatah readily con- 
sented. Somehow, she could bear no ill will toward Ha< 
gar, and her sister's helplessness and impulsive nature 
made her take a certain delight in helping Hagar to 
avoid possible consequences. 

Discovering soon after breakfast that the train for 
Paris did not leave until nearly noon, Hagar suggested 
that they take a walk along the beach in front of the 
hotel. 

They were quite good friends again, as they started 
off on the sandy beach; hand in hand, they followed 
the line of shore, and only stopped when a great wall 
of crimson rock loomed up through the misty veil of 
fog. 

The day was warm, and the cooling effect of the cold 
water of the ocean had thrown into the air a fantastic 
bank of vapor. 

They walked in silence, both thinking how strange it 
was they should be together, when Hagar exclaimed: 
" Oh, sister, how beautiful this is." Then they both 
stopped to admire the view. 

Like a huge, low pinnacled cathedral, with its irregular 
Gothic outline and jagged columns and steeples, the rock 
stood above the line of fog. The early morning sun could 
only meekly pierce the cloud of moisture, and the effect 
was that of mingling rainbows and snow-capped moun- 



994 Bagar Rev^g 

tains, kissed by the sunlight. It wu truly beantifnli 
and both were held in admiration. 

Thatah was affected so deeply she could not speak, 
but stood very still, in a vagrant contemplation of the 
beautT of the vision. Never before, to her, had Nature 
seemed so impelling, so over-awing. It made her think 
of her life at the office, with its regular duties, day after 
day. 

**01i, Hagar, this w wooderful ! " she exc l aimed. 
" How I should like to live here a whole lifetime.** Be- 
fore she ciould speak again there were tears flocking to 
her eyes. 

"What in the world — " exclaimed Hagar, noticing, 
but not understanding Thatah's emotion, and after a 
moment of utter amazement, adding: " I guess we'd bet- 
ter be going back." She said, as she led the way to the 
hotel : ** If I stayed here a whole day, the [dace would 
get on my nerves, too." 

" Oh, it didn't get on my nerves, Hagar," said lliatah 
softly. 

** Well, it did something to you. I hate the country 
and the open air, and all the stuff people rave about so 
much. It makes me sad, and I hate to be where any- 
body's sad." 

" I love the open country," answered Thatah. 

" Is that why you cried? " Hagar asked, with euriosi^. 

" Well, I guess it is." 

** From joy — what? " 

"I suppose so." 

Hagar studied her for a moment. " My, but yon're 
funny," she observed. 

Near noontime the train left for Paris. Thatah did 
not lose her spirit of exaltation, however. Passing so 
swiftly through the silent lanes, and vine-covered oi^ 
cbards, was like unfolding into tangibility the propor- 

I ,i,z<,d.vCoOgIf ■ 



Hagar Revettg 890 

tions of some past dream. The channing little red 
roofs of the Normandy villages sang an appeal into her 
heart that made her feel gaj and free again, for the 
first time in manj months. 

It may have been this song in her soul that made her 
want to be kind and forgiving to Hagar, for when they 
entered the Gare St, Lazere, and she had already met 
the silent, tall man, she felt she would do absolutdy the 
bidding of Hagar. 

" Sister, this is Mr, Miller Jarvis," said Hagar. 

" I am happy to know you." 

Thatah looked up, and there were cold grey eyes, sad- 
dened, questioning, peering into her own. 

He took her hand. " Miss Revelly," he said simply, 
while a strange silence hung over the three as they stood 
there, 

Hagar was the first to speak. *' We are so happy to 
have you with us, Thatah." 

" I'm happy, too," Thatah replied. 

" Aren't you ^ad, Mr. Jarvis ? " questioned Hagar. 
" Itll be so nice for us three to be together." 

" You know I am very glad," he said quietly. 

They went to the hotel, all three sitting huddled closely 
together, with little Edric asleep on Thatah's lap. They 
spoke very little, and Hagar was considerably bothered 
when she perceived MilleHs eyes continually glancing at 
the child on Thatah's lap. She felt relieved when they 
reached the hotel. 

" He feels sorry for Thatah, I guess," she explained 
to herself. " Thatah always looks so sad." 

As soon as they reached the room, Hagar questioned 
Thatah. 

" What do you think of him? " 

** I don't know," replied lliatah vaguely. 

"He's nice, don't you think so?" 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



8M Eagar BfvtOg 

"Oh, yei." 

Hagar went on : ** Toull get over hu grave manner. 
That's his way. He's always thinking about funny, deep 
things. But wait until you talk to him. Anyway, I 
wouldn't want a man that's sporty." 

Then she came nearer to Thatah's side, saying: ** Jtwt 
think, Thatah, how great it would be. You know he's 
running for Senator, or something, out there, and say, 
won't I have a great time, being the ladyt I'd make him 
a good wife, though, and be true to him," she added con- 
tanplatively. 

Noticing Thatah looked vacantly down into the street, 
she asked: " What's the matter? Don't you think so? " 

** Oh, I hope it all comes out the way you want it," re- 
plied Tliatah. 

Through the hotel management, they procured an 
English-speaking nurse-girl for Edric, and the next even- 
ing Miller took them to dinner, though Thatah begged 
hard to be left with Edric. 

" I must stay," she insisted. ** You people don't want 
me with you, anyway." 

" It would be better if you came," said Miller, and in 
his words there seemed to be an understanding and beg- 
ging, and command. Something made her nearly rush 
to the answer: "All right, I'll come then." 

The dinner was a failure from the standpoint of buoy- 
ancy and spirit. The man was quiet, as if some over- 
whelming thing encompassed him, while Hagar sat wearUy 
across from him, her elbows buried in the table, her mind 
puzzled and wandering. 

He had not commented upon the dress she had just 
received from Liberty's. This hurt her deeply ; she was 
also conscious of the fact that once or twice she had 
smiled to him, thinking his gaze was upon her, only to 
find bis eyes dwelling far away. 

L ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



'Sagor ReveUy 897 

After dinner, they moved further in from the street 
for their coffee, and found a fairly inviting comer right 
near a very fat Frenchman and his wife. He man wore 
a flaming red tie and spoke loudly, while his wife an- 
swered him in a series of acquiescing grunts, 

"Isn't it wonderful in Paris, ThatahP " Hagar ex- 
claimed, after they had gained their seats and the waiter 
bowed himself back to the kitchen. 

" It's truly wonderful, sister." 

The glittering life, meeting her gaze in every direction, 
surely interested her. A tall, beautiful woman seated 
herself with her escort at the table directly back of them. 
The woman was dark and sensuous looking, and the man, 
well groomed and intelligent, sat silently at her side. 
The music crooned out a slow throbbing melody from 
some opera. 

It was all of a piece, the li^ts, the coloring, ev- 
erything — both animate and inanimate — and to Tha- 
tah it gave a feeling of restlessness and vague discon- 
tent. 

She heard Miller's voice in her ear : " This makes one 
dream, doesn't it. Miss Revelly?" 

His voice startled her, but she gained her composure 
quickly, and answered : " Yes. It's the flrst time Fve 
dreamed — in a great long while, too." 

Then Hagar, who had been watching them, said : " Oh, 
come, for Heaven's sake, let's not get sad." 

Miller, continuing to look at Thatah, asked : " You 
like — this kind of life?" 

Thatah's mind was wandering. She felt more happy 
and restful now, full of a glorious peace. It seemed that 
everything at this moment had been made especially for 
her, as if the pale men and women on the tapestries, with 
their mandolins and fans, were serenading and watching 
her. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



898 Hagar Reot&y 

Then Hagar touched Thatah'B elbov: " Tbitah, Hr. 
Jairis is speaking to you." 

Thatah looked up to see Miller's gaze on her. " Oh, 
I beg your pardon," ahe said, apologetically, " I hare 
been dreaming, haven't IP What were you sayingP" 

" I only asked if you like this," be said gently. 

** I would like to live in it always," she answered. 

" Well, it would take a lot of money," intruded Hagar. 

" Money could never make me feel the way I do now," 
replied TTiatah. " Money can't do everything." Then 
she caught Miller listening intently to every word. " But 
I guess jouVe right after all, Hagar," she added. The 
presence of Miller made her conscious of every word she 
uttered. 

Hagar, however, since she had started them talking, 
reached out blindly for some way of maintaining the con- 
versation. 

"Well, money is a pretty big thing, just the same. 
It takes a lot of money to live in Paris, doesn't it, Mr. 
Jarvis?" As Hagar turned to the man who intuitively 
understood her fluttering effort, she added : *' We know, 
don't we? " 

"You bet it does," he smiled, and added thoughtfully: 
" Still, it's sentiment that makes the world go round. 
There are a lot of people, especially the artists who come 
over here, who would rather starve in an interesting fash- 
ion, than make money prosaically, especially if starving 
meant the attaining of something they craved." 

" Would youP " asked Thatah, turning to him. Some- 
how to her the question seemed important. 

He thought for a moment, then answered, a bit rem- 
iniscently: " Well, I don't know. I think responsi- 
bility would be the only thing that would keep me from 
it." 

^Die conversation dragged after that, and for ft l<nig 



Hagar Revelly 899 

time following the coffee, absolute silence fell over the 
entire party. 

Miller suggested that thej go to some other caf£ for 
a short time, but Hagar felt so queerlj restless and un- 
happy, she would only agree to them going back to the 
hotel. 

" Let's go hack to the hotel — I've got a headache," 
she pleaded, and she cast her eyes down for a moment, 
perhaps to appear more wan and weary. But when she 
looked up, with a subconscious feeling that his sympathy 
would bring the old caress in its glance, she found him 
staring at Thatah. 

After some discussion, they decided not to ride back 
to the hotel, but rather to walk slowly along the Boule- 
vard. 

The moving throng had the same effect upon them, 
however. For Miller and Thatah there was no note from 
the tangible now. Something indefinable seemed to set- 
tle about them, and made them usderstand, as they 
walked peacefully and silently side by side, that there 
existed between them a perfect feeling of unity. 

The days passed into the first week after Thatah's 
arrival, when one afternoon, perceiving that Thatah he- 
came silent as soon as Miller left them, Hagar said: 
" Thatah, you're trying to win him from me, and you 
know it." 

Thatah, noticing Hagar'a sullen and angered face, 
exclaimed: "Oh, sister, you shouldn't say that." 

Braving herself, Thatah went on. Her voice trembled 
as she spoke : '* Hagar, I came over here blindly — to 
do what you wanted of me. And Fm here to be as loyal 
to you as you want me to be. I know you've been watch- 
ing me." 

" But you know he cares for you. Honestly, I didn't 
know what was wrong until I became suspicious just a 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



400 Haga^ R^vOtg 

couple of daya ago. I*m do fooL I can t«U what he 
thinks and feels, when he looks at you the way he does." 
" I'm sorry, Hagar. I've done nothing, absolutely 
nothing. Why, I've hardly spoken to him." 

" Oh, I don't blame you so much, Thatah, but look at 
the way things stand." 

Hagar gave a deep si^^ then exdaimed : " Good 
heavens, who can tell the crazy turns things will takeP 
As if I ever gave it a thought that he would care for 
you. But we've got to do something," she went on, ear- 
nestly. " I'll be in a rotten fix if things don't take a turn 
for me. And you're trying to spoil it all, instead of 
helping me." As she saw Thatah's eyes flash, she went 
into softer tones : " Sister, you mustn't go back on me. 
You will help me, won't you? Why, I guess it means 
my whole life. I'd never work in a store again." 

" I understand everything, Hagar. You can trust 
me. I stood by you once. I'll do it again." 

As Thatah went into the next room to hide her feel- 
ings, her senses were torn by her dilemma. 

Miller soon became conscious that Thatah was avoid- 
ing him in every possible way. 

At first he was curious and wondered whether it was 
out of regard for Hagar that she kept away from him, 
but as she most palpably avoided every meeting, he de- 
termined that she really felt no part of this feeling that 
was overwhelming him. 

Then one afternoon, he passed her in the hallway, 
and their eyes met. He went to his room, and sat for 
hours with his pulses beating wildly. At last, blind with 
the sudden determination to know, he rushed to Thatah's 
apartment. Luckily, Hagar had gone to the dining- 
room, and he found Thatah on a seat by the open win- 
dow. 

For an instant they stood facing each other. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar ReveUp 401 

** You here ! You 1 " she exdoimed. Tliere was trem- 
bling and eagerness in her voice. 

He stood silent, his face full of begging: " I had to 
come," he said quietly. 

Tbatah meant to say several things, to explain the 
situation, to make him understand the cause for which 
she was fighting, or even express some word that would 
turn him off altogether. 

But aU she could do was to answer his beseeching eyes 
by ^tending to him her hand. 

"I knew you would understand," he cried. 

He led her back to the seat by the window. 

" I'm so happy," he said impetuously. " This is so 
inmderful — ao good. Oh, you must know that." 

As she drew away from him, he went on hotly: " We're 
man and woman, Thatah. Do you think that when Tve 
discovered the reality of every thought Fve dreamed for 
years — do you think I'm going to give you up? Oh, 
you must know. We've got to be brave — but we've got 
to be true to ourselves. I'U tell little Hagar— I'D tell 
her everything." 

For the first time she looked up into his eyes, crying: 
" Oh, no, no — I'm doing wrong. Please, please, don't 
let me!" 

Jarvis perceived the truth in her confession. " Thar 
tah, I love you*" he pleaded. " What need have people 
like us for explanation end words? What difference 
would it make if we had known each other for years? 
Why, I've loved you," his voice softened somewhat, from 
the very first moment, there at the station. 

" And I've thought and thought about it this last week* 
until I've been neariy crazed. Oh, child, there is some- 
thing better and bigger, and greater, that is guiding us. 
We are not doing wrong." 

He saw her saddened eyes filled with tcan. 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



4M Hagar Revay 

** Look at me,** he begged. " Tell me I haTen*t judged 
wrongly." 

He paused for onlj a moment now, feeling, as she kept 
sQent, that it was the overflowing emotions that con- 
trolled her. Thea he went on, talking slowly and ear- 
nestly : " I've believed all my life in impulses, Thatah. 
They are the only trae emotions that stored up craving 
can give, and I'm speaking to you, following the dictates 
of something that comes from deep in me. And I mean it. 
Oh, every word of it." 

And now she looked up into his face, as he pleaded, 
and the outlines of it were as fanuHar to her as if she had 
beheld them a lifetime. And though she meant not to 
let him perceive her feelings, she awakened to find his 
lips upon her forehead, while in her soul there arose a 
feeling of thankfulness, that paid up in the moment, for 
aH the years of waiting and inertia she had endured. 

" Thatah ! " came nearly inarticulate from Miller. 

She raised her face, and when her eyes were at a level 
with his own, and she saw there all the strength and love 
hunger of the man, her resolutions fled entirely, swept 
away, as if by some overpowering maelstrom of emotion. 

** Thatah ! " he cried again. 

But she said, in a half whisper, " Oh, I can't. . . , 
Please, man, I must not.*' 

He folded her deep into his arms, saying over and 
over : " Thatah, I love you." 

Then she seemed slowly to yield to his caresses. 

" I love you, too. I cant hdp it," she answered at his 
lips. 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTEB. T-y-y-n; 

In the fast ebbmg lif^t of late day, Thatah onid Hagar 
■tood facing each other. The battle cry of defeat and 
disappointmeiit were silently told in the younger girl's 
trembling lips and flaring eyes. But she kept her forces 
together, and nothing beyond a slight unsteadiness of 
speech revealed to Miller the feeling of rage and despair 
that flooded through her. 

" I've stood out there for half an hour," she cried. 
" I don't know what it was that made me hurry up so 
soon. Anyway, I've heard everything." Then she 
turned in the man's direction. " So you've loved sister 
all the time, haven't you P " she cried. 

Miller, standing erect, bis grey eyes softened some- 
what, as he perceived the appeal concealed in Hagar's 
voice, answered: "Yes, Hagar, I love her." 

Utterly bewildered by the understanding of the tmth 
of her fears, she searched his face. 

Then, instinctively realizing the entire situation, and 
knowing that she could not make any fight with them to- 
gether, she hurried towards the door, saying as she went: 
*' I'll leave you two alone," 

But Thatah, surmising Hagar's intention, had gone to 
the door ahead of her. " It is my place to go," she said, 
as she caught Hagar's arm. 

Miller started after her, then he went back to his chair. 
" She's right, Hagar," he said. " Let us sit down aad 
talk this thing over." 

" All right, that's what X want to do," Hagar replied 
bitterly. And then she began immediatdy : ** Yoa think 
*" , .„ Google 



404 Hagar ReveUy 

I don't understand — that I don't know what it is, to 
ha,ye a real affection for some one, don't youF But I do 
understand. That's the whole trouble. I let you know 
from the start how I cared. Yes, it's always that way 
with men. You've got to lie to them and keep them oflT. 
Or else they won't think they're clever when they win yoa. 
That was just the trouble. If I had played right with 
you, and never let you know how I felt, it would have 
been different." 

He started to interrupt her, hot she exclaimed impetu- 
ously: " Oh, let me go on." And quite recklessly- 
with a fierce tone of defiance ringing throughout her 
words, she pointed out to him wherein lay her weakness, 
and ihe gradual process by which Thatah had fascinated 
him. Then, quite suddenly, she burst forth into a 
strange argument : " Do you know," she glared at him, 
"why it was that I feared all this? Tell me, have you 
ever thought? " 

" I don't quite understand." 

" Well, you oug^t to," she answered. " You're a sen- 
sible man, and if you think a little bit, youll realize that 
that story about adopting a friend's diild sounds fishy. 
Of course, I didn't say anything in the beginning, because 
1 thought you cared for me. But, it doesn't make any 
difference now." 

She hesitated, and the man, seeing that her anger iras 
bringing forth some confession, begged her to go on. 

" Yes, I'll tell you," she replied. " Oh, I knew you 
cared for her that first night at Marguery's, but I just 
couldn't believe it then. Well — " 

"Go on, Hagar," said Miller, firmly. 

" Well, have you ever thought what might be the tmI 
truth about little Edric?" 

"EdricI Why, what do you mean?" 

DolizodbvCoOglf 



Hagar ReveUy 406 

**Well, it's all on account of Edric that Fre been 
worried. I didn't think she'd brin^ him over." 

Her voice changed somewhat now, as she said softly: 
" I^ric, you know — is — her illegitimate child." 

Miller grasped her roughly by the shoulders. Then 
he said fiercdy : " Do you know what you're telling 
meP" 

'• I know — I understand how you must feel. I — 
you don't know how sorry I am." 

Like a flash there came over him at that instant Tha- 
tah's expression when she had said: "I love Edric so* 
I wouldn't give him up even if his mother wanted him 
now." 

Miller exclaimed : " I don't believe it, Hagar." 

" I fought hard not to tell you, Miller. Why, good 
Lord — " she started to say that which lay uppermost in 
her mind, came near telling him in her suppressed frenzy, 
how she had wanted to win him, and the plans she had 
made to accomplish it. 

However, she answered quite tranquilly : " I wanted 
you. That's the reason I didn't tell you then, and why 
Pm telling you now, I — just wanted to get away — 
away from this noise and faking- I wanted to go some 
place where a man would believe in me, some place where 
— it would be nice and quiet, and peaceful-like, and 
chickens and cows, and I could hear the birds sing, and 
breathe the fresh air. Oh, that's what I wanted. God, 
I wanted it bad, too. I wanted somebody I could be 
proud of, somebody that would teach me things, I'm — 
I'm pretty sick of men like Morgan Best." 

As if overwhelmed by some outburst from a hidden 
fountain of truth, Hagar now laid bare her feelings. 
Imploringly, half crazed by the realization that she was 
to lose this opportunity for home and peace, she went 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



406 Hagar ReveUy 

on ; but in her words, was the abandon of one wbo knowi 
the futility of their quest. 

Very gently she knelt by the side of hie chair, and 
slowly took hold of one of his big hands and stroked the 
fingers, 

*' I wamt you," she said earnestly. *' I want you, and 
Fm not afraid to let you know it. I haven't any pride 
with you, Miller, or else my only pride is in the feeling 
that I'm daring to be honest with you. Oh, can't you 
understand? I've never known anybody like you before. 
You're so strong and big and serious and kind. Your 
whole life isn't made up of thinking of clothes and things 
like that. Why, that used to be the only kind of man 
I ever thought of, until 1 met you. You could t«ach me 
a lot. Miller." 

She reached up and turned his face toward her. The 
dark lines about his mouth and eyes seemed coarser and 
deeper than ever. 

" Please look at me," she begged. 

Some joy came to her at this moment, for she saw that 
he had been affected by her words. Her happiness was 
shortlived. He arose from the chair and half dragged 
her up with him. It was not affection, however, that 
controUed him, for he seemed more stern and resolute 
than ever, and a certain fierceness in manner and speech 
had beset him. 

In nearly a whisper he began : " Hagar, this is a rot- 
ten world of ours, a great joke . . . but when once I 
get a thing in my head, it's there for good. And I 
know now what I think, and I don't believe anything in 
the world could make the sli^test difference. There is 
something about Thatah's eyes, that tells me I can be- 
lieve in her. If she has had this child, I'll feel the sorrier 
for her, and know that she needs my help just that much 
more." 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar Revdly 4fft 

Hagar imdentood the futilitj of further pleaiding. 
Miller's words had come so emphatic and earnest, she aaW 
that she would onlj humiliate herself. She had followed 
the wrong course with him. 

So she turned away from him, and without speaking 
opened the door and went into the next room. Miller 
picked up his gloves and hat from a chair, and after 
hesitating for a moment at the door which had just closed 
on Hagar, be walked out into the halL 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER XXXm 

Thb next day brought a complement of events. 

Miller told Thatah that he had made Hagar acquainted 
with everj detail of his regard for her. 

He did not mention Hagar's accusation concerning 
Edric, feeling that she had been in the next room and 
might have heard. Even when die told him that she had 
been id the Tuileries Gardens, be hesitated to tell ber, 
simply through the fear of losing her. 

And so, through ignorance on Tbatah*t part, and 
Miller's fear, Hagar went about with them, quite as if her 
■tory was a forgotten triviality. 

Chi the following evening, the three had dinner to- 
gether, but Hagar, hardly able to endure her pangs of 
ccmscience, complained at its close that she felt ill, and 
left them. 

Miller then suggested to Tlatah that they take a walk 
in the cool, evening air, and she went up to her room for 
ber hat and coat. When she returned, and they walked 
across the Rue de Rivoli into the Tuileries Gardens^ Ha- 
gar watched them from the balcony window. 

For a time they strolled on in silence, Thatah ^peri- 
endng for the first time in her life the thought of coi^ort 
and thorough peace, such as she bad always imagined 
and longed for. 

*' I wonder if many people know how wonderful the 
nights are,^ said he, as they walked along. " Day- 
time, I abhor with its shuffling crowds and mock- 
ing sunlight and noise. But there's something rather 
fine in the ni^t-time, isn't there?" 



Hagar Revdlp 409 

" You mean that yaa like the quiet? " ahe asked, 
. " Oh, I mean more than that. I think at night you 
are less disturbed by ordinary things. I faocy that is 
why people are lonelier at night.** 

" I wonder.** 

Miller observed her face as she answered him, and 
when she noticed, she asked what was wrong. 

** Nothing, child," he said. She perceived, however, 
the affection that lay in his eyes and voice. 

Off across the Gardens and outlined faintly in the 
early evening twilight like some gigantic balloon, could 
be seen the dome of a cathedral. It was in marked con- 
trast to the surging crowds on the well-lighted Boule- 
vard, and unconsciously they wandered in its direction, 
at last, sitting upon a little bench, near the high Iron 
picketed enclosure that separated the Park from the 
street. 

As they peered through the bars, Thatah remarked 
how gay everyone seemed in the moving crowd. 

" Do you think any one of them ever speculates on the 
future?" she suggested. " There they promenade, night 
after night. I should think they would try to find some- 
thing new." 

** I guess their philosophy, Thatah, is to gather the 
rosebuds while you may," he remarked. 

" Yes, and then the rosebuds go, and the rosebushes 
lire,, and all you get is the prick of the thorns." 

" At least the pricking of the thorns ought to sttr 
them." 

When he saw that she did not quite understand him, 
he said : ** I mean people like that, who are surfeited 
and blas4, can only store up greater monotony in their 
restlessness. They are not building for the future any 
more, because they do not know what they want. It*» 
like Morgan Best's case. I can't help thinking that there 

DolizodbvCoOglc 



410 Hagar RnOlg 

is Qotlung for him to fall back upon, except ■«« extreme 
of what he has already had. 

"Why, sometimes I pity him," Morgan went on ear- 
nestly. " He's always selling himself for a price. That's 
what his pleasures come to. But, we don't buy anything 
when we sell our hearts, do we?" He paused for a mo- 
ment, then added: " I guess it's only when we give that 
the returns are greatest." 

He took her hand gently. " I wonder, dear,** he said, 
" if you ever felt that you couldn't take something just 
because it didn't happen to have a certain attraction that 
you really craved? I'm like that. It's idealism, I guess. 
But to me, idealism is only realizing the importance of 
the things we most want. Yes, I've tried pretty hard to 
get the same values out of things that come to other peo- 
ple — but, oh, I can't. I want the height always — » I 
want things real, no illusion. I guess I'm foolish." 

" Oh, no you're not," Thatah broke in. 

" At least, Fve been perfectly willing, Thatali, to go 
along, waiting and waiting, for the day when the great 
happiness would come to me. When I could recognize it, 
and then, in my imagination, go out on the prairies or 
high places, and square my shoulders — and throw back 
my head, and say to the winds on the hills : * Here's 
what I want. It's what I've always wanted — and by 
Ood, I'm going to take it.' " 

He had lost himself in his words, and as he looked up 
and realized what he had said, he became more humble 
again, saying bashfully: "I really forgot what I was 
doing, Thatah. Forgive me." 

** Oh, go on, I love to bear you talk like that," she 
begged. 

He held her hand more tightly. 

" Once I came across a phrase that I've always re- 
membered: *For a dreamer is one who can only find his 



Hagar Revdiy 411 

waj by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees 
the dawn before the rest of the world.* X used to think 
that was going to be mj fate," he said quietly, 

" Oh, I think dreaming is good for one," Thatah added 
gently — " when the dreams come true." 

" People that study life have to dream a lot, I guesi. 
They learn the real values, too. I knew a fellow, once," 
he went on, " who would make plans on paper for the 
next day, then he began doing that for his own life, and 
for those about him whom he knew very well. One day, 
some one asked him what he was doing. I'll never forget 
his answer: 'I'm only a photographer of life,' said he, 
* trying to take pictures with the end of a pencQ.* It 
was in the Western country, too, Tliatah, and out there 
it isn't all sunlight snapshots." 

" I've always wanted to be in the West," said she. 

" It won't be long, Thatah," he answered, looking 
ahead, with eagerness in his eyes. 

As they walked back to the hotel, and Thatah hung on 
his arm, and felt the protection offered her by this man, 
she wondered what would have happened to her had she 
not come to Paris. 

At her plate the next morning, she found a letter from 
him, and a great joy flooded her whole being when she 
realized that Miller might have sat up a good part of the 
night to write to her. 

The letter ran: 

Dear Thatah: 

I am in a mood. I'm yoong all over again, and when I find 
myself affected as I am to-night since leaving yon, there is only 
ime thing to do — that is, act just like the youth himself. 

I've been sitting here for hours, juat thinking abont yon, in 
a sort of ecstasy. Yon mustn't laugh at me. I keep on think- 
ing bow happ7 I am, how I thank God I found yon. Why, 
yon seem to have been my companion through all the years, 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



41C HagoT A«(wOy 

thrcnigh all the limely vigil. I wonder — is there some wQd 
nomadic strain in you, that matches up with that aomething in 
me that has always kept me dreaming and yearning. 

My watch says it is nearly three o'clock. It's grey white 
outside now. The milk man has been to the botd. I can bear 
his rumbling cans go down the street. 

I can hardly wait mitil I see you in the morning. Ab, I 
am as frail as the rest of my sex. 

I thought I should stop now, only to find myself filled witb 
a desire to talk further with yon. I'm afraid this letter will 
become grotesque — incoherent — surely there is nothing more 
interesting than the words a man will pour into the ears of the 
woman he lovea. I don't believe women are like this. Tbey 
convey their feelings by some stray glance, some inadvertent 
touch, they even say, ' I love you,' but that is all. No, women 
are really not given to warding their emotions, as are men. 

Well, I promise one thing — yon will never be for me an 
asylum for my worries. To those of whom we are fond, we 
should only dare to give that part of us which will make them 
happy. If we try to get only sympathy, it means aclfisbness> 
and I know love is not that. 

I must stop my rambling. We've talked to little. 

Good night 



It was her first love letter. 

For a long while she meditated, feeling a certain dis- 
appointment indefinable to herself. Having been vaguely 
mindful for some time of hia austere, unbending view of 
life, his lessened understanding of the gayer moments of 
which even she felt life was full, she only gradually could 
perceive his sobriety of manner to be the expression mir- 
rored forth from a soul's past torment. 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER XXXIV 

In the days that followed, Hagar went about as thou^ 

she were in a state of narcosis. When Thatah and Mil- 
ler decided at the last moment to go back together to 
New York for their marriage, she stood like some dumb 
animal, watching the train until it disappeared into the 
distance. 

Her senses distorted b; series of unrelenting thoughts, 
she wondered if Miller had already told Thatah of her 
lie, and if she had done right in refusing to go along with 
them, when Thatah had asked her. After all, she re- 
flected, as she walked along, that she would surely have 
had to settle down with Miller. Thatah was different — 
she was made for a quiet home. She wondered a little if 
Thatah really loved Jarvis, with his stiff, foolish ideas 
about things. 

But all the way back to the hotel, Hagar felt as if 
someone had struck her a blow. Her house of dreams 
lay shattered about her, and Miller's going with Thatah 
and little Edric, took away the last invisible prop. When 
she reached her room, she sat wearily in a rocker by the 
window. The dark of the room made it easier for her to 
tlunk and she rocked back and forth with monotonous 
regularity for nearly two hours. 

Alone in the dark she pondered deeply. Until now she 
had not realized the fact that the to-morrow held out 
nothing for her. Then she thought of the money she had 
spent so recklessly, and where more would come from. 
When she realized quite suddenly the state in whi(^ Tha- 

413 I ,i,z<,i:,., Google 



414 Hagar Hevt^y 

tab had left her, she cried : " Am I ao outcait? " again 
and again. 

It vas a vail of self-rerelation. Suddenly her spirit 
of pride and resourcefulness seemed absolutely taken 
away. 

Until ten o'clock she paced the room, her hands 
clenched and her eyes searching the bare walls, as if she 
could bring out of them some hidden thought or plan. 
She felt rather regretful now that she had not accepted 
Hiatah's invitation to go back to America with her. 

About an hour later, Hagar called up Morgan Best. 

" I thought you'd forgotten me,** he said in his gay 
manner. " But I was going to look you up, anyway. 
I promised Miller that this afternoon." 

When she was seated in his little parlor, she wondered 
why Miller's face was continually in front of her. This 
man had such a clever manner, he seemed so sure of 
himself, and his hair and clothes were so well taken care 
of. But somehow she missed Miller more at the moment 
than ever before. However, she spoke very sweetly to 
Best. " I got awful lonesome sitting up there after llia- 
tah left. So I just thought I'd call you up." 

It was quite dark in the room and Best wondered if he 
should make a light. 

" Oh, I like the twilight," she objected. 

" As you wish," he replied. 

Hagar walked over and looked out of the window, down 
into a deep, dark areaway. 

"Gee! it's dark down there!" she eiclaimed. 

" It is dark, isn't itP " 

" I'd be so scared, I'd keep this window locked all the 
time, for fear I'd wake up in my sleep some night." As 
he failed to answer her, she looked around at him. 
" Why, what's the matter with you? " she asked. 
" Vou're as quiet as a clam," 

DolizodbvCoOglc 



Hagar ReveUp 416 

He suppressed a yawn as he answered : " I'm pretty 
tired, I guess. Had a big party last night at L'Ab- 
beje's." 

For some time Hagar gazed over the sill, peering into 
the darkness, without saying a word. Then she came 
back into the room, and walked over to him, and leaned 
somewhat over his shoulder. " I thought we might have 
some fun to>night," said she slowly, as if he had hurt her 
by his silence. 

Best looked up, with a kind expression upon bis face. 
" I'm pretty tired," said he. 

Then he became silent again, while Hagar walked 
about the room, touching one or another of the different 
things on the writing desk or on the mantel. ' 

At last she said: "God! say something. You act aa 
if you didn't want me." 

" Why, you know better than that, Hagar." 

She had taken the chair by his side when the telephone 
gave a short ring. As he rushed across the room, his 
spirits appeared to come back in an instant. " I guess 
that's about my ticketa," he said. " I forgot to tdl 
you I'm leaving for Switzerland in the morning." 

He put the mouthpiece to his lips, and though Hagar 
strained hard to hear what he said, his tones were so low 
and so well directed, she could only get an occasional 
fragment of a woman's rather high-pitched voice. 

When he placed the instrument back on the hook, hia 
face was very red, and she thought be was a little nerv- 
oas. 

" Pm sorry," he explained ; " Pve got to run down- 
stairs. A friend with whom I had a partial engage- 
ment — ** 

Hagar took the silver beaded shawl from the back of 
the chair and threw it over her shoulders. 

*' Oh, don't worry. Ill go," she cried a bit angrilT. 



416 Sagar Mtvdljf 

" I'm florry.** He spoke rather dejectedly. " Uaybe 
I ■hould have thought about it before, but I — *• 

" Oh, don't worry. It's all right." In her throat 
was a choking, uncomfortable feeling. 

She had walked as far as the door, when he stopped her 
and looked steadily into her face. 

" Let me tell you a plan I have in mind, Hagar," he 
said, as he took hold of her arm. " And we best talk 
straight to each other." For a moment he paused, as 
if in a search for the right way of beginning. Then 
he exclaimed : " Well, it's no use to fake with yourself. 
I understand. I've been watching you ever since 
you came in here. And it's hurt me a little bit to see 
how hard you were working. You — are pretty much 
up against it, aren't you, HagarP" 

She grasped the knob of the door for support, and be, 
noticing her quivering lips and trembling fingers, made 
his own interpretation of her silence. 

" Now, listen to me," he began. 

" Oh, please don't say anything that'll make me fed 
bad." 

He gave a restless laugh. " I won't." 

For a moment he stood watching her. " I know — 
what you told Miller — about the child — " 

"Oh, please, please don't talk about that." 

" Well, I'm going to ask one question — for his sake. 
Tell me—" 

Hagar grew pale, and she half shut her eyes as if she 
already knew what he would ask of her. 

Best continued in a measured voice: "Isn't Thatah 
— a good woman? " 

She drew herself to her fullest height. In her face 
was the old proud spirit. But before she could muster 
her words, she gave way entirely. Her little body wilted, 
as if it had been struck a blow. 

L ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glf 



HagoT RgcelXj/ 417 

** Ob," she said weakly. " Tbatah is — ao awful good 



"And the child?" he questioned further. 

** Oh, please — please," she begged. 

Very calmly he looked at her. " I knew it,** he said 
simply; "but I wanted to make sure. I want to tell 
MiHer." 

" It didn't make any difference,** she started to say. 

" Thank heavens," he added to her words. " But I'Q 
write him to-night." 

He walked away from her for a time, leaving her alone 
at the door. Somehow, he was sure she would not 
leave. When he came back to her side, he said : " Well, 
we must get down to business anyway. I want to do 
something for you. Perhaps I should tell you that I 
believe that I can." He looked into her face. " You 
know what I'm driving at? " 

" Not quite," she faltered. 

" Well, it's just this. I've got a friend who's coming 
over here. He's got — money — " 

Hagar grasped his arm. *' Please don't say it," she 
murmured. 

" Just as you wish," Best replied. " If you dont 
want — " 

" Oh, go on, don't mind me," turning her head away. 

" All right. You know it isn't for me I'm doing this. 
Tm — well, I'm just sorry for you, little girl, and Paris 
is a pretty cold proposition." He went on mercilessly 
now, the while Hagar sat herself dejectedly in a large 
chair. " This friend, a man named Jack Weller, is a 
rich jewellery importer in Chicago. Pve bought a lot 
of jewellery from him. He's a good spender, a nice 
looking fellow, and I believe hell like yon. What do you 
sayp Shall I — fix it up? Hell be here in about ten 
days ,. . ." 

DiailizodbvGoOgle 



L 



CHAPTER XXXV 

Hagab commenced ber search of the hotel registers, given 
in an English-printed paper, about two weeks after Best 
had left Paris. And the few days passing the arrival 
of Weller's steamer, without his appearance, made her be- 
gin to fear that Best's arrangements had gone wrong. 

Every day she inquired at the Herald office and looked 
through the lists for his name. 

During this time she bou^t a long fur coat for winter 
wear, and two new gowns. 

Only once, as she was shopping, did she think it would 
be a better plan to save her money. But the coming of 
Weller seemed to make impracticable any plans beyond 
the point of his arrival. It was really only after the 
two weeks of waiting that she realized that Weller was 
not coming. That same day she was confronted by the 
hotel management for the payment of her bill, and as 
she stood facing the pale young clerk, she saw that she 
could not stay at the hotel and await Weller, and that 
she had not enough money to pay for her leaving. 

But she told him, " Oh, I'll fix it up all right, don't 
worry, I'll fix it up to-morrow." 

When night came, she wandered out to the Rue de 
Rivoli. She was hungry from not eating, completely at 
a loss for some method of meeting her obligations. She 
had not the heart to go into the dining-room, after her 
interview with the clerk, and going into some other res- 
taurant seemed so humiliating that she decided to do with- 
out eating altogether. 

The street was dark and depressing and she turned off 
*" , ,„ .Google 



Hagar ReveUy 419 

toward the Rue de la Madeleine. Here it was gayer and 
better lighted and her spirits lifted accordingly. 

In front of Maxim's, a young fellow ejed her and 
said several words in French to her. When he under- 
stood she did not speak his language, he said politely hut 
with an effort: " Why not, Mademoiselle, a little dinner, 
some place? " 

He was quite at her side, and as he whispered into her 
ear, his body touched her. 

" Get away from me," she cried, and tore along the 
boulevard at a much quicker pace. Before she had 
walked another block, she was accosted by a half dozen 
others. 

The first incident stayed with her, however, and as she 
thought about it, the idea that for nothing she might 
have managed a good dinner, seemed much less repeUent 
than at first thought. 

She kept on her way into the Boulevard des Capucines, 
and when she came to the Olympia cellar, she went down 
the stairs without being in any way capable of account- 
ing for it. Two women ahead of her had gone down into 
the burst of light, and she followed them automatically. 
She did not recognize the long, low running wine room 
and dance hall as being one to which Miller had taken 
them one night. 

There were many women standing about or sitting at 
tables here, so her first moment of fright did not turn 
her away. Instead, she found herself climbing upon a 
stool after her two companions of the street. A long 
electrically lighted sign over her head said : " American 
Bar." 

It may have been the instinct that had driven many 
women before her to the same row of hi^ stools in front 
of the liquor-shining bar, that impelled Hagar to follow 
the women. At least, her mind was not prepared, when 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



4SE0 Bagar ReoeUy 

the bartender dsaig at her, in coarse tones, an inquiry 
of her desires. 

In English be spoke: " Whatll you have, Mad*- 
m'gelleF " 

Hagar looked about her, still bewildered by the strange- 
ness of her surroundings. Then she seemed to forget 
the man altogether, and leaned wearily over the groove 
that ran along the shining surface to catch the spilt 
liquor. Her eyes were sunk deep in the frame of dull 
black hair. 

One of the womm who had preceded her along the 
Boulevard, turned to her. She had evidently noticed the 
expression on the face of the bartender, as he spoke to 
the forlorn, pale face of Hagar. 

" What's the matter with you, little one P " the woman 
questioned. 

Hagar looked up. " Oh, I'm pretty tired," she an- 
swered. Then she heard the woman's voice say : *' Well, 
tell the man what you want, dearie. He's waiting. Yoa 
need a bracer, I guess." 

A little more aroused, and realizing the obligation she 
had assumed by getting on the stool, Hagar asked of the 
woman: " What are you taking? " 

** A little absinthe. I need it about this time of the 
night." 

** Give me the same," said Hagar to the man. 

The woman went on regarding her. *' Why in the 
world don't you get some restP I always make it a point 
to take it easy during the day. You look all worn out, 
and the night is just starting." 

As Hagar failed to answer, she went on : " Why don*t 
youP You do look like the devil." 

" Oh, I don't know." 

The woman took her drink at one gulp. " You know, 
I knew you were an American the way you said, tired. 

DoiizodbvCoogle 



BagOT Revdljf 4S1 

The English don't speak at ^ the way we do. I'm from 
New York. Where are you from, dearie? " 

" Oh, I'm — from New York, too." 

"Are you? Well, it's the only town in the world, all 
right." She grew quiet for a time and Hagar noticed 
that she was no longer young, and had a hard-look- 
ing face, that for all the paint showed many wrinkles. 
Then the woman again turned towards her: " God, for 
just a smell of Forty-second Street, what wouldn't I 
give! How long have you been here? " 

She had been speaking a good deal to herself, until she 
had asked the question of Hagar, and now as she saw 
the look of disinterestedness in Hagar's face, she nearly 
interrupted her own words : " You are certainly tired 
out, aren't you? I guess it's because you don't know the 
system. Anyway, one oughtn't work so hard now. The 
best paying bunch of Americans don't tome over until 
fall, liiese are all tourists, now. Why, last night — " 
Then she broke off suddenly, "Where are you living?" 

"Why?" asked Hagar. 

The woman looked up, hesitated an instant, and then 
said: "Oh, well, business is business. I was just think- 
ing that you could come with me. You're young and 
pretty all right, and I think you could do pretty well. 
You're new at the game, aren't you? Well, anyway," 
she went on, " you come around with me. Well talk it 
over." 

She paid for Hagar's drink and started to get down 
from her stool. 

"I — I'll see you to-morrow night. I'm too — tired 
to-ni^t," faltered Hagar. 

Apparently undecided as to her next course, Hagar's 
companion stood thinking for a minute. Then she took 
Hagar's hand : " Oh, itil be a good thing for you. I 
know what your kind of life is now. There's nothing to 

DolizodbvCoOglc 



4Mt Hagar Reo^y 

it. The game is too hard when you go it slooe. Yes, 
jou're a fool to do the Avenue, even one more ni^t. 
You're too pretty to be so — so common." 

** I'll see you to-morrow night — sure," pleaded Hagar. 
Her face was bloodless, and her lips were as dry as her 
tongue. " Fm awful tired." 

" Well, all right. I guess it's better for you to get 
some rest to-night. But go home and rest. If I was 
you, I'd cut it out entirely for to>night. But youll 
meet me here sure to-morrow night, then P " She took 
out a card from a small leather case. *' If Fm not here 
by ten o'clock, just come around to that address," she 
said, " and knock once and walk in. It will only let you 
into the sitting- room. I've got two dandy rooms, and a 
bath." 

" All right. I guess III go now," said Hagar, as she 
took the card and slipped down from the high stool. 

" You won't forget? " 

"Oh, of course not." 

When she was well out of the place, Hagar ran untfl 
she had reached her room. 

At six o'clock the next morning she sent a cablegrun 
to Greenfield: 

" I want to come back to you, Ben. Please, for old times' 
sake. Will yon cable me four bandied dollars P " 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



CHAPTER XXXVI 

Benjamin Gbeenfield met Hagar before the boat 
reached the docks. In some manner, he had obtained the 
privilege of coming out on the pilot boat, whUe the big 
steamship was still considerably out of her New York 
harbor. Anxiously, fraught with emotion, he followed 
the pilot up the rope-ladder, and found Hagar awi^ting 
him upon the deck. 

The thoughts that had accumulated during the two 
weeks interval, between the time he had cabled her the 
money and now, spent itself in the instant. He grasped 
her in his arms, in front of the curious passengers, and 
kissed her again and again upon her lips and face. 

" Oh, Hagar," he cried, with half-shut eyes. 

As quickly as possible she hurried him down to her 
cabin. He seemed even more frenzied when they were 
alone, and kept murmuring in a strange way: ** Hagar 
— Hagar — it can't be." 

It seemed that only in her name could he find expres- 
sion for the many weeks of misery he had endured. 
When he had seated himself upon the little sofa, she 
asked if he had been lonesome. It was a simple thing lo 
say, as a first answer to his tempestuous greeting, but 
she could think of nothing else. 

In a low voice, he whispered : " Hagar, youll never 
know what I've gone through." 

" You poor boy," she breathed. 

Then he tenderly put both his hands on her shoul- 
ders, and turned her face toward him. " But God 
knows, Vm happy now." The tears listened in his eyes. 
«B 

DolizodbvCoOglc 



M4 Bagar RevtUff 

** I dcat't believe you can understand what I feel, Hagar, 
you're been cruel as the devil to me." 

Sbe smoothed back his hair with her hands. 

**I don't believe I cani Ben," she whispered. Thee 
ahe added : ** Oh, I want to, though." 

Her voice took on more life. From the first instant 
of their meeting, she had been trying to word some rest- 
less thought, and now she began earnestly, removing his 
hands, in a graceful confession of her inability to think 
as she wanted, with him so near. 

" Ben," she began, ** we'd best talk straight right away. 
You can't know what I went throuf^ the morning I 
sent you that cable. And after that I just counted the 
seconds until I heard from you, fearing you would still 
— be angry with me. You don't know what getting that 
answer meant to me." 

"I can imagine," he said, with his eyes steadily upon 
her. 

Her tones lost none of their firm purpose by tbe inter- 
ruption. 

" Any way, I've come back, Ben, but Vm going to come 
back straight, if you want me. And I'm going to be 
honest about it, too. You know I haven't — been 
square." 

" It's all right, child. Don't talk about it," he pleaded. 

" But I must have my say." Her voice faltered a 
little as she continued: " Oh, Ben, you don't know what 
I've suffered, just in my thoughts. All of a sudden I 
changed over there — just felt sick and low and cheap 
— felt afraid . . . as if I was going to jump oSF 
into some hole that I could never get out of. Oh, I can't 
explain it. And what scared me so much was that I waa 
getting so I didn't care. 

" At least, I've changed, Ben. I guess Vm a woman 
now. I guess Tve found myself." She took his hand 
DoiizodbvCoogle 



Hagar ReveUy 4t5 

and gentl; caressed it. " And it comes down to this, old 
boy "^ — she paused, with her head bowed — " I want a 
home. I want to be loved — but I want 9. home more. 
I want you to marry me. That's — why I came back) 
Ben. I was just thinking of myself." 

He interrupted her. " You're a little exated qow» 
dear," he said, rising from the seat and walldng restlessly 
over to the porthole. " Everything will be O. K., I sup- 
pose." 

" No, I must talk now. I'm so sick of everything. 
And we've got to be square. I don't really love you, Ben. 
I honestly don't. I don't really love anybody. I cant 
love now. It seems like there ain't any time for that. I 
just want some place to be in. I want . . . Oh, well 
. . . maybe after a while, if you'll marry me, and we're 
all settled, and I can appreciate you more . . . may- 
be, I'll learn ... to love you. I hope so. Oh, 
but the main thing is — I want somebody to love me. 
See!" she exclaimed, with a sad smile, "I'm talking 
honest, Ben. You know I'd never said that in the old 
days. But that's straight, Ben. I do want something 
like that. You're pretty good — you've been better to 
me than — well, than you ought to have been, at any 
rate." 

She rose and with him looked out through the little 
window, over the rough surface of the green water. 

" Yes, Ben, I want you to marry me. That's the only 
way that you can save me. And 111 try hard to be good 
to you." 

Thinking perhaps that he would reply, she remained 
sQent. But he only looked away from her, with his head 
bowed upon his hand. 

She slowly put his arm around her neck. 

" Ben," she went on, with a little loss of control in her 
tones, ** I bdieve I can make you happy. I'm wiUiog to 

I ,l,z<,i:,.,C00glc 



M6 Hagar Reodly 

try — if you*re wQling to let me. I'm sorry I donH love 
you, but you understand, Ben, don't you, boy? I'm just 
trying to be honest." 

Then, for the first time, Greenfield answered her. With 
a cry, he grasped her to him : ** Oh, darling, you don't 
know what I've gone through. You don't know how I've 
suffered and wanted you. Why, once I thought I'd kill 
myself. Oh, you don't know, I can't help loving you. 
But that night — " 

" Let's bury that night with the rest, Ben." 

" It's been pretty hard to do." 

With soft tones, words full of a caress in them, Hagar 
said: "Well, Ben, perhaps I've got something to blame 
you for, too. So, it's an evened up game. You didn't 
know what you were doing that day when you took the 
little black-haired kid from behind that waist counter, 
did you? " 

It was bis turn to beg that she let the past bury itself. 

" No," she went on. " I guess men don't think what 
might happen, when they try to do that sort of thing. 
They don't think that the little girl might learn — to want 
— in the same way he does. So, Ben, it's evened up. I 
might have gone further — the night I cabled. And I 
could have blamed you for it. You were the first human 
being that put thoughts like that in my head. 

" Anyway, it's all right with me — if it's all right with 
you. I don't love you now — but I'll be square with you, 
and work for you, and be true to you — if youll just — 
marry me." 

She framed his face with her hands. " Ben," she fal- 
tered, " tell me, is it all right? " 

From the upper deck came the blatant notes of a brass 
band, which had started its jubilant entrance into the 
inner harbor. 

Greenfield took her in his arms, and his face — drawn 

DolizodbvCoOglc 



Hagar ReveUy 4ST 

and tense — showed his feelings plaint;. " Hagar, X 
love you," he whispered. " It's all right with me. God 
knows how I want you." Then his voice broke a little. 
" I know what you're worth — and mean in my life — 
now." 

" Well, if it's all right with you, Ben — it's all ri^t 
with Die." 

Silently Greenfield folded her hands and drew them to 
his lips. 

" It's all right, Hagar. You needn't worry. You 
don't know how wonderful it is, just being here with you. 
Why, I'm ten years younger this minute. Oh, Hagar — 
ray girlie." 

Neither of them spoke for some time — but gazed 
through the portholes, out over the swiftly passing water, 
so nearly on a level with their eyes. Bits of sunli^t, re- 
flected from the waves, danced fantastically on their faces, 
while carried through the air came down to them the faint 
jingling notes of a rag-time melody. 

Hagar remained passive in his arms. Then she began 
to disengage herself from his close embrace. Suddenly 
she seemed worn and tired. 

*' It's so stuffy down here, dear," she said. " Let's go 
Dp and listen to the band." 

Dare we further dog-ear the pages of Hagar's life? 

Is it within our province to analyze and dissect the 
comedy of fate and circumstance — to approach life with 
lens and forceps, as though it were a magnified Proteus, 
and, when it suits our fancy, to pinch ofi' an inquisitive 
pseudopodia from the protozoan bulk, to hold aloft for 
the appreciation of fellow students? 

Who shall take the divine prerogative in dispensing re- 
wards to those spent in travail — to those who must needs 
traverse the labyrinth of life's doldrums? In the idea at 



4W Hagar ReveUy 

the parable, the good are rewarded — the bade made to 
suffer. But is justice so dispensed? Can reward drip- 
ping hot from the pen always finish the story P . . . 

We live on hopes, expectations — hanging speculatively 
in mid-air over the abyss . . . tight-rope walkers on 
the road to destiny. Only with our eyes far ahead are 
we able to keep to the present task. Dare we, tbeot re- 
vert our gaze to a faltering fellow-traveOerP 

Experience teaches more than meditation. The abyss 
gaped deep and shadow-filled. Had not Hagar peered 
into its depths? 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



DiailizodbvGoOgle 



ANNB14 



I 3756.5388.3te 

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