-co
"CM
-00
=00
loo
'CD
ECO
Mttmt DP
The History and Remarkable Life of
the truly honourable
COLONEL JACQUE
Commonly called Colonel Jack
If nlmnr Hi
By
DANIEL DEFOE
With the author's preface, and an introduction by
G. H. MAYNADIER, PH. D.
DEPARTMENT OF ENGLISH, HARVARD UNIVERSITY
National library (Company
Nrro fork
Dr Uttx*
LIMITED TO ONE THOUSAND SETS
a*
COPYRIGHT, 1904, BY
THE UNIVERSITY PRESS
ILLUSTRATIONS
COLONEL JACQUE
PART I
PAGE
Jacque is summoned before his master. (See p. 188)
Frontispiece
Escaping with the purloined horse 136
PART II
Colonel Jacque and the lady 32
Colonel Jacque's arrival is announced 192
INTRODUCTION
SMOLLETT bears witness to the popularity
of Defoe's Colonel Jacque. In the sixty-
second chapter of Roderick Random, the
hero of that novel is profoundly impressed
by the genius of the disappointed poet, Melopoyn,
the story of whose tragedy is Smollett's acrimonious
version of the fate of his own first literary effort,
The Regicide. Melopoyn tells Random that while
waiting in vain for his tragedy to be produced, he
wrote some pastorals which were rejected by one
bookseller after another. A first said merely that
the pastorals would not serve ; a second advised
Melopoyn to offer in their place something " satiri
cal or luscious ; " and a third asked if he " had got
never a piece of secret history, thrown into a series
of letters, or a volume of adventures, such as those
of Robinson Crusoe and Colonel Jack, or a collec
tion of conundrums, wherewith to entertain the
plantations ? " Smollett probably wrote this pas
sage some time in the year 1747, for Roderick
Random was published in January, 1748. It was
twenty-four years earlier December twentieth,
1722 that Colonel Jacqite had been published, or,
[vii]
INTRODUCTION
to give it the name set forth by its flaunting title-
page : The History and Remarkable Life of the
truly Honourable Colonel Jacque, vulgarly called Col.
Jack, who was born a Gentleman ; put ' Prentice to a
Pickpocket ; was six and twenty years a Thief, and
then kidnapped to Virginia ; came back a Merchant ;
was five times married to four Whores ; went into the
Wars, behaved bravely, got Preferment, was made
Colonel of a Regiment ; came over, and Jled with
the Chevalier, is still abroad Completing a Life of
Wonders, and resolves to die a General. Surely a
book for servants, readers of our time will be apt
to think on looking at this title-page ; and yet
Colonel Jacque is found to-day in many a gentleman's
library. This is no reason, though, why it should
still retain considerable popularity in Smollett's
day. In less time after their appearance, some
books which live forever in literature have been
forgotten by the great mass of readers. What was
it now that kept Colonel Jacque popular a quarter
of a century after its publication ?
It can hardly be the story which maintained its
popularity, for the inorganic tale is of the simplest
kind. Jacque, like Captain Singleton, and Moll
Flanders in her childhood, had almost no knowledge
of his parents. He was brought up by a woman
who was well paid for taking the child off his
parents' hands a woman who, though seemingly
[viii]
INTRODUCTION
an abandoned character, nevertheless showed the
boy kindness. When he was about ten, she died.
Then followed the chequered career sketched in the
title given above. Jacque, trained by a comrade as
a pickpocket, became in time a thief on a larger
scale, but not a thief quite destitute of good feeling.
After he had robbed a poor woman of Kentish
Town of 22s. 6d., his conscience was never easy till
he paid her back the money, a year later ; and
through all his criminal life, he remembered that
his foster-mother had told him he came of gentle
blood, and accordingly should remember always to
be a gentleman. The hope of being a gentleman
was before him, even when he was kidnapped to
Virginia and sold into bondage. There he became
such a favourite of his master that in time he was
able to set up as a planter on his own account.
From Virginia he returned to England, and thence,
after the unhappy matrimonial ventures mentioned
in the title, he went back to Virginia, where at
last he married the wife whom he had previously
divorced.
Nor could the character of the hero have had
much to do in keeping Colonel Jacque popular. In
spite of his matrimonial achievements, in spite of
the affection which he rouses in his American .em
ployer and his slaves both, Colonel Jacque is with
out any attraction which a reader can perceive
INTRODUCTION
to-day. Like most of Defoe's characters, he is with
out fine feeling ; he is always looking out for the
main chance. His chief interest is commerce ; he
is a typical " Anglo-Saxon " trader. There are
thousands and thousands of such clever, prosy, cold
blooded business-men in the United States to-day,
and in the British colonies, and in the United King
dom. Though Defoe's biographers are divided as to
whether or not he shared their mercantile clever
ness, there is no doubt that Defoe was heartily in
sympathy with such men ; and his interest in recount
ing Colonel Jacque's commercial ventures shows him
to have been what I have already called him the
Yankee trader of the Queen Anne writers.
It was the story of Colonel Jacque's successful
trading, no doubt, which had a large part in sus
taining the popularity of his History. But even
more important in this respect, was that which we
have seen to be the vital force in all Defoe's fiction
circumstantial vividness. This is less striking in
the later pages than in the earlier. The vividness
ceases to a large extent after Jacque goes to
America, for Defoe did not know America so well
as he knew his England. Yet even when the scene
shifts to the further side of the ocean, Defoe makes
no blunders ; nothing impossible occurs ; his geog
raphy is correct. In Colonel Jacque, perhaps more
than anywhere else, we see that interest of Defoe's
INTRODUCTION
in distant British possessions which made him, as I
have said, one of the "imperialists 11 of his time.
Even so, what vividness there is in the American
scenes is too largely commercial. Not many people,
other than small traders or would-be traders, could
ever have read with interest such a paragraph as
the following :
" With the sloop I sent letters to my wife and to
my chief manager with orders to load her back, as I
there directed, viz., that she should have two hun
dred barrels of flour, fifty* barrels of pease ; and, to
answer my other views, I ordered a hundred bales to
be made up of all sorts of European goods, such as
not my own warehouses only would supply, but such
as they could be supplied with in other warehouses
where I knew they had credit for anything. 11 -
Very different are the earlier pages which deal
with Jacque^ adventures as a poor criminal boy in
England. Here Defoe was on ground that he knew
thoroughly. Sir Leslie Stephen 1 has observed that
Defoe passed beyond the bounds of probability when
he made his hero, an almost elderly man writing his
memoirs in Mexico, remember the details of his boy
ish thieving with marvellous exactness. Barring
this improbability one by the way which you are
not aware of while you read the scenes in question,
for you do not know how long a time will elapse
1 Hours in a Library.
[Id]
INTRODUCTION
before the hero begins to record his experiences
the verisimilitude of the first part of Colonel Jacque
could not be surpassed. Moreover, in picturing the
life of the poor, neglected boy, Defoe is unusually
sympathetic. And so in the early pages of Colonel
Jacque, more than anywhere else, is found the power
of the story, the secret of its popularity when
Smollett was writing Roderick Random, and the
secret of its appeal to readers to-day. Lamb was
hardly overstating the case when he declared, "The
beginning of * Colonel Jack ' is the most affecting,
natural picture of a young thief that was ever
drawn." l
At the end of the second volume of Colonel Jacque
will be found two of Defoe's earlier political satires :
The True-Bom Englishman and The Shortest Way
with the Dissenters. The former, the most celebrated
piece of verse which Defoe wrote, was published in
January, 1701. The circumstances which led to its
publication are set forth by the author himself in
his autobiographical sketch of 1715, An Appeal to
Honour and Justice.
On the first of August, 1700, according to his
statement, there appeared " a vile abhorred pamphlet,
in very ill verse, written by one Mr. Tutchin, and
called The Foreigners ; in which the author . . . fell
1 Wilson's Memoirt of Defoe, London, 1830, III., p. 429.
[ziij
INTRODUCTION
personally upon the King himself, and then upon
the Dutch Nation. And after having reproached his
Majesty with crimes that his worst enemy could
not think of without horror, he sums up all in the
odious name of Foreigner. This filled me with a
kind of rage against the book, and gave birth to a
trifle which I never could hope should have met
with so general an acceptance as it did ; I mean The
True-Born Englishman.'"
The reason for Tutchin's pamphlet was that Wil
liam III., never loved by the English, became less
and less popular after the death of Queen Mary. A
Dutchman, he was supposed to have the interests of
Holland more at heart than those of England.
This supposition was strengthened by the fact that
he took no Englishmen into his confidence as he did
his old and trusted Dutch friends. These, naturally,
shared his unpopularity, especially the Duke of
Schomberg and the King's favourite minister, Wil
liam Bentinck, created Earl of Portland, both of
whom are mentioned by Defoe in his True-Born
Englishman.
Defoe, in this reply to Tutchin's pamphlet, sought
to prove that the king and his foreign friends had as
good right to the esteem of the English as any
patriots in the history of the country. In the first
part of the " poem, 1 ' as Defoe called his satire, he
showed that William, with his Dutch blood, was as
[xiii]
INTRODUCTION
much entitled to the name of Englishman as any of
his subjects, who came of mixed British, Pictish,
Roman, Saxon, Danish, and Norman blood. In
short, Defoe made the English out a hybrid race, and
with excellent good sense showed that their national
vigour was due largely to their being so. Much of
what he said might well be said to-day of the
people of the United States, as for instance, the
following from Defoe's explanatory preface :
"The multitudes of foreign nations who have
taken sanctuary here, have been the greatest addi
tions to the wealth and strength of the nation ; the
essential whereof is the number of its inhabitants.
Nor would this nation ever have arrived to the
degree of wealth and glory it now boasts of, if the
addition of foreign nations . . . had not been help
ful to it. This is so plain, that he who is ignorant
of it is too dull to be talked with."
The other side to Defoe^ picture (and there was
another side then as now) is shown in verses which,
with a few changes, would likewise be applicable to
the United States to-day. Defoe is trying to prove
that even with lapse of years the English race
remains hybrid.
" And lest by length of time it be pretended
The climate may this modern breed have mended,
Wise Providence, to keep us where we are,
Mixes us daily with exceeding care.
[xiv]
INTRODUCTION
We have been Europe's sink, the jakes where she
Voids all her offal outcast progeny.
From our fifth Henry's time, the strolling bands
Of banish 'd fugitives from neighb'ring lands
Have here a certain sanctuary found :
Th' eternal refuge of the vagabond,
Where, in but half a common age of time,
Borr'wing new blood and manners from the clime,
Proudly they learn all mankind to contemn,
And all their race are true-born Englishmen."
In the second part of the satire, Defoe tries to
describe the nature of the English, their pride, and
their ingratitude to their benefactors. Among the
stanzas in which he hits off the faults of his
countrymen, the following, more true than gram
matical, is among the most forcible :
' Surly to strangers, froward to their friend ;
Submit to love with a reluctant mind ;
Resolved to be ungrateful and unkind.
If by necessity reduced to ask,
The giver has the difEcultest task ;
For what 's bestow'd they awkwardly receive,
And always take less freely than they give.
The obligation is their highest grief;
And never love, where they accept relief.
So sullen in their sorrows, that 't is known,
They 11 rather die than their afflictions own :
And if relieved, it is too often true,
That they '11 abuse their benefactors too ;
For in distress their haughty stomach 's such,
They hate to see themselves obliged too much,
Seldom contented, often in the wrong ;
Hard to be pleased at all, and never long."
[XV]
INTRODUCTION
Defoe's satire was a success. Written, as it is, in
rough verse, at times little better than doggerel, it
is yet always vigorous and interesting. To-day,
after a lapse of two hundred years, no verse from
Defoe's pen is so readable. That it was effective in
accomplishing the purpose for which it was com
posed, is proved by the fact that the people, taking
the satire good-naturedly, experienced a revulsion of
feeling towards the king and his Dutch friends.
It was natural that the piece should bring Defoe
the increased regard of the king, whose favour
he had already to some extent enjoyed. "This
poem was the occasion of my being known to His
Majesty," Defoe wrote in his Appeal to Honour
and Justice; and "I was afterwards received by
him."
Concluding the second volume of Colonel Jacque
will be found the ironical Shortest Way with the Dis
senters, which placed Defoe in the pillory and in prison.
It was written in 1702, the first year of Anne's
reign, when the strong Tory influence in the govern
ment seemed likely to bring back the persecution of
Nonconformists which had ceased in the time of
William. From the early summer, when Dr. Sach-
everell preached at Oxford a most inflammatory
sermon against the Dissenters, High Church feeling
against them grew stronger and stronger, finally
[xvi]
INTRODUCTION
Defoe decided that the best service he could render
them was to show the views of the High Church
party in all their extreme savageness. The re
sult was the pamphlet, The Shortest Way with the
Dissenters ; or, Proposals for the Establishment of
the Church, which appeared on the first of December,
1702.
Defoe was so successful in imagining High Tory
sentiments in his pamphlet, that it was received
with indignation by the Dissenters themselves
and with acclaim by the extreme Churchmen. " I
join with " the author " in all he says,' 1 wrote
one of them, 1 to a friend who had sent him the
pamphlet, "and have such a value for the book,
that, next to the Holy Bible and the sacred Com
ments, I take it for the most valuable piece I have."
Naturally there was a storm when the truth was
discovered and the High Tories found out that what
they had praised was ironical. They were immedi
ately shamed into declaring the pamphlet a danger
ous libel, intended to stir up the Dissenters to civil
war. Defoe's bookseller and printer were accord
ingly arrested, and a reward was offered for his
apprehension. He gave himself up, was tried, and
sentenced to pay a fine of two hundred marks,
to stand three times in the pillory, and to go to
1 Defoe mentions the letter in his Review for August llth,
1705.
[xvii]
INTRODUCTION
prison for the Queen's pleasure. How Defoe con
verted his punishment in the pillory into a triumph,
and how profitably he employed his time during his
imprisonment, have been already told in the introduc
tion to Robinson Crusoe.
G. H. MAYNADIEE.
[ xviii ]
AUTHOR'S PREFACE
SIR, It is so customary to write prefaces to
all books of this kind, to introduce them
with the more advantage into the world,
that I cannot omit it, though on that ac
count 'tis thought this work needs a preface less
than any that ever went before it. The pleasant
and delightful part speaks for itself; the useful and
instructive is so large, and capable of so many im
provements, that it would employ a book large as
itself to make improvements suitable to the vast
variety of the subject.
Here's room for just and copious observations on
the blessings and advantages of a sober and well-
governed education, and the ruin of so many thou
sands of youths of all kinds in this nation for want
of it ; also, how much public schools and charities
might be improved to prevent the destruction of so ,
many unhappy children as in this town are every
year bred up for the gallows.
The miserable condition of unhappy children,
many of whose natural tempers are docible, and
would lead them to learn the best things rather than
[xix]
AUTHOR'S PREFACE
the worst, is truly deplorable, and is abundantly seen
in the history of this man's childhood ; where, though
circumstances formed him by necessity to be a thief,
a strange rectitude of principles remained with him,
and made him early abhor the worst part of his trade,
and at last wholly leave it off. If he had come into
the world with the advantage of education, and been
well instructed how to improve the generous princi
ples he had in him, what a man might he not have
been !
The various turns of his fortunes in the world make
a delightful field for the reader to wander in ; a
garden where he may gather wholesome and medi
cinal fruits, none noxious or poisonous ; where he
will see virtue and the ways of wisdom everywhere
applauded, honoured, encouraged, rewarded ; vice
and all kinds of wickedness attended with misery,
many kinds of infelicities ; and at last, sin and shame
going together, the persons meeting with reproof and
reproach, and the crimes with abhorrence.
Every wicked reader will here be encouraged to a
change, and it will appear that the best and only
good end of an impious, misspent life is repentance ;
that in this there is comfort, peace, and oftentimes
hope, and that the penitent shall be returned like
the prodigal, and his latter end be better than his
beginning.
While these things, and such as these, are the
AUTHOR'S PREFACE
ends and designs of the whole book, I think I need
not say one word more as an apology for any part of
the rest no, nor for the whole. If discouraging
everything that is evil, and encouraging everything
that is virtuous and good I say, if these appear to
be the whole scope and design of the publishing this
story, no objection can lie against it ; neither is it of
the least moment to inquire whether the Colonel hath
told his own story true or not ; if he has made it a
History or a Parable, it will be equally useful, and
capable of doing good ; and in that it recommends
itself without any introduction. Your humble
servant,
THE EDITOR.
[xxi]
THE LIFE OF
COLONEL JACQUE
SEEING my life has been such a chequer-
work of nature, and that I am able now to
look back upon it from a safer distance
than is ordinarily the fate of the clan to
which I once belonged, I think my history may find
a place in the world as well as some who I see are
every day read with pleasure, though they have in
them nothing so diverting or instructing as I believe
mine will appear to be.
My original may be as high as anybody's for aught
I know, for my mother kept very good company ;
but that part belongs to her story more than to
mine. All I know of it is by oral tradition, thus :
My nurse told me my mother was a gentlewoman,
that my father was a man of quality, and she (my
nurse) had a good piece of money given her to
take me off his hands, and deliver him and my
mother from the importunities that usually attend
the misfortune of having a child to keep that should
not be seen or heard of.
TOL. i. 1 [ 1 ]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
My father, it seems, gave my nurse something
more than was agreed for, at my mother's request,
upon her solemn promise that she would use me well
and let me be put to school ; and charged her, that
if I lived to come to any bigness, capable to under
stand the meaning of it, she should always take care
to bid me remember that I was a gentleman ; and
this, he said, was all the education he would desire
of her for me ; for he did not doubt, he said, but that,
some time or other, the very hint would inspire me
with thoughts suitable to my birth, and that I would
certainly act like a gentleman, if I believed myself
to be so.
But my disasters were not directed to end as soon
as they began. It is very seldom that the unfortu
nate are so but for a day ; as the great rise by de
grees of greatness to the pitch of glory in which
they shine, so the miserable sink to the depth of
their misery by a continued series of disasters, and
are long in the tortures and agonies of their dis
tressed circumstances, before a turn of fortune, if
ever such a thing happens to them, gives them a
prospect of deliverance.
My nurse was as honest to the engagement she
had entered into as could be expected from one of
her employment, and particularly as honest as her
circumstances would give her leave to be ; for she
bred me up very carefully with her own son, and
[2]
with another son of shame like me, whom she had
taken upon the same terms.
My name was John, as she told me, but neither
she or I knew anything of a surname that belonged
to me ; so I was left to call myself Mr. Anything,
what I pleased, as fortune and better circumstances
should give occasion.
It happened that her own son (for she had a little
boy of her own, about one year older than I) was
called John too ; and about two years after she took
another son of shame, as I called it above, to keep
as she did me, and his name was John too.
As we were all Johns, we were all Jacques, and
soon came to be called so ; for at that part of the
town where we had our breeding, viz., near Good
man's Fields, the Johns are generally called Jacque ;
but my nurse, who may be allowed to distinguish
her own son a little from the rest, would have him
called captain, because, forsooth, he was the eldest.
I was provoked at having this boy called captain,
and I cried, and told my nurse I would be called
captain ; for she told me I was a gentleman, and I
would be a captain, that I would. The good woman,
to keep the peace, told me, ay, ay, I was a gentle
man, and therefore I should be above a captain, for I
should be a colonel, and that was a great deal better
than a captain; "for, my dear," says she, "every
tarpauling, if he gets but to be lieutenant of a press
[3]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
smack, is called captain, but colonels are soldiers,
and none but gentlemen are ever made colonels.
Besides," says she, " I have known colonels come to
be lords and generals, though they were bastards at
first, and therefore you shall be called colonel. 1 '
Well, I was hushed indeed with this for the pres
ent, but not thoroughly pleased, till, a little while
after, I heard her tell her own boy that I was a gen
tleman, and therefore he must call me colonel ; at
which her boy fell a-crying, and he would be called
colonel. That part pleased me to the life, that he
should cry to be called colonel, for then I was satis
fied that it was above a captain : so universally is
ambition seated in the minds of men that not a
beggar-boy but has his share of it.
So here was Colonel Jacque and Captain Jacque.
As for the third boy, he was only plain Jacque for
some years after, till he came to preferment by the
merit of his birth, as you shall hear in its place.
We were hopeful boys, all three of us, and prom
ised very early, by many repeated circumstances of
our lives, that we would be all rogues; and yet I
cannot say, if what I have heard of my nurse's char
acter be true, but the honest woman did what she
could to prevent it.
Before I tell you much more of our story, it would
be very proper to give you something of our several
characters, as I have gathered them up in my mem-
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
ory, as far back as I can recover things, either of
myself or my brother Jacques, and they shall be
brief and impartial.
Captain Jacque was the eldest of us all, by a
whole year. He was a squat, big, strong-made boy,
and promised to be stout when grown up to be a
man, but not to be tall. His temper was sly, sullen,
reserved, malicious, revengeful ; and, withal, he was
brutish, bloody, and cruel in his disposition. He
was, as to manners, a mere boor, or clown, of a
carman-like breed ; sharp as a street-bred boy must
be, but ignorant and unteachable from a child. He
had much the nature of a bull-dog, bold and desper
ate, but not generous at all. All the schoolmistresses
we went to could never make him learn no, not so
much as to make him know his letters ; and as if he
was born a thief, he would steal everything that
came near him, even as soon almost as he could
speak ; and that not from his mother only, but from
anybody else, and from us too that were his brethren
and companions. He was an original rogue, for he
would do the foullest and most villainous things,
even by his own inclination ; he had no taste or sense
of being honest no, not, I say, to his brother
rogues, which is what other thieves make a point of
honour of; I mean that of being honest to one
another.
The other, that is to say, the youngest of us
[5]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Johns, was called Major Jacque, by the accident fol
lowing : The lady that had deposited him with our
nurse had owned to her that it was a major of the
Guards that was the father of the child, but that
she was obliged to conceal his name, and that was
enough. So he was at first called John the Major,
and afterwards the Major; and at last, when we
came to rove together, Major Jacque, according to
the rest, for his name was John, as I have observed
already.
Major Jacque was a merry, facetious, pleasant boy,
had a good share of wit, especially off-hand-wit, as
they call it ; was full of jests and good humour, and,
as I often said, had something of a gentleman in him.
He had a true manly courage, feared nothing, and
could look death in the face without any hesitation ;
and yet, if he had the advantage, was the most gene
rous and most compassionate creature alive. He
had native principles of gallantry in him, without
anything of the brutal or terrible part that the
captain had ; and, in a word, he wanted nothing but
honesty to have made him an excellent man. He
had learned to read, as I had done ; and as he talked
very well, so he wrote good sense and very hand
some language, as you will see in the process of his
story.
As for your humble servant, Colonel Jacque, he
was a poor, unhappy, tractable dog, willing enough,
[6]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
and capable too, to learn anything, if he had had
any but the devil for his schoolmaster. He set out
into the world so early, that when he began to do
evil, he understood nothing of the wickedness of it,
nor what he had to expect for it. I remember very
well that when I was once carried before a justice,
for a theft which indeed I was not guilty of, and de
fended myself by argument, proving the mistakes of
my accusers, and how they contradicted themselves,
the justice told me it was a pity I had not been
better employed, for I was certainly better taught ;
in which, however, his worship was mistaken, for I
had never been taught anything but to be a thief ;
except, as I said, to read and write, and that was
all, before I was ten years old ; but I had a natural
talent of talking, and could say as much to the pur
pose as most people that had been taught no more
than I.
I passed among my comrades for a bold, resolute
boy, and one that durst fight anything ; but I had a
different opinion of myself, and therefore shunned
fighting as much as I could, though sometimes I
ventured too, and came off well, being very strong
made and nimble withal. However, I many times
brought myself off with my tongue, where my hands
would not have been sufficient, and this as well after
I was a man as while I was a boy.
I was wary and dexterous at my trade, and was
[7]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
not so often catched as my fellow-rogues I mean
while I was a boy, and never after I came to be a
man ; no, not once for twenty-six years, being so old
in the trade, and still unhanged, as you shall hear.
As for my person, while I was a dirty glass-bottle-
house boy, sleeping in the ashes, and dealing always
in the street dirt, it cannot be expected but that I
looked like what I was, and so we did all ; that is
to say, like a " black -your-shoes-your-honour," a
beggar-boy, a blackguard-boy, or what you please,
despicable and miserable to the last degree ; and
yet I remember the people would say of me, " That
boy has a good face; if he was washed and well
dressed, he would be a good, pretty boy. Do but
look ; what eyes he has ; what a pleasant, smiling
countenance ! 'T is a pity. I wonder what the
rogue's father and mother was," 1 and the like. Then
they would call me, and ask me my name, and I
would tell them my name was Jacque. " But
what 's your surname, sirrah ? " says they. " I don't
know, 11 says I. " Who is your father and mother ? "
" I have none, 11 said I. " What, and never had you
any? 11 said they. "No, 11 says I, "not that I know
of. 11 Then they would shake their heads and cry,
" Poor boy ! " and " 'T is a pity, 11 and the like ; and
so let me go. But I laid up all these things in my
heart.
I was almost ten years old, the captain eleven,
[8]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
and the major about eight, when the good woman
my nurse died. Her husband was a seaman, and
had been drowned a little before in the Gloucester
frigate, one of the king's ships which was cast away
going to Scotland with the Duke of York in the
time of King Charles II., and the honest woman
dying very poor, the parish was obliged to bury her ;
when the three young Jacques attended her corpse,
and I, the colonel (for we all passed for her own
children), was chief mourner ; the captain, who was
the eldest son, going back very sick.
The good woman being dead, we, the three
Jacques, were turned loose to the world. As to the
parish providing for us, we did not trouble ourselves
much about that ; we rambled about all three to
gether, and the people in Rosemary Lane and Rat-
cliff, and that way, knowing us pretty well, we got
victuals easily enough and without much begging.
For my particular part, I got some reputation for
a mighty civil, honest boy ; for if I was sent off an
errand, I always did it punctually and carefully, and
made haste again ; and if I was trusted with any
thing, I never touched it to diminish it, but made
it a point of honour to be punctual to whatever was
committed to me, though I was as arrant a thief as
any of them in all other cases.
In like case, some of the poorer shopkeepers
would often leave me at their door, to look after
[9]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
their shops till they went up to dinner, or till they
went over the way to an alehouse, and the like, and
I always did it freely and cheerfully, and with the
utmost honesty.
Captain Jacque, on the contrary, a surly, ill-look
ing, rough boy, had not a word in his mduth that
savoured either of good manners or good humour ;
he would say " Yes " and " No," just as he was asked
a question, and that was all, but nobody got any
thing from him that was obliging in the least. If
he was sent off an errand he would forget half of it,
and it may be go to play, if he met any boys, and
never go at all, or if he went, never come back with
an answer, which was such a regardless, disobliging
way that nobody had a good word for him, and
everybody said he had the very look of a rogue, and
would come to be hanged. In a word, he got noth
ing of anybody for goodwill, but was, as it were,
obliged to turn thief for the mere necessity of bread
to eat ; for if he begged, he did it with so ill a tone,
rather like bidding folks give him victuals than
entreating them, that one man, of whom he had
something given, and knew him, told him one day,
"Captain Jacque," says he, "thou art but an awk
ward, ugly sort of a beggar, now thou art a boy ; I
doubt thou wilt be fitter to ask a man for his purse
than for a penny when thou comest to be a man."
The major was a merry, thoughtless fellow, always
[10]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
cheerful ; whether he had any victuals or no, he
never complained ; and he recommended himself so
well by his good carriage that the neighbours loved
him, and he got victuals enough, one where or other.
Thus we all made a shift, though we were so little,
to keep from starving ; and as for lodging, we lay in
the summer-time about the watch-houses and on
bulkheads and shop-doors, where we were known.
As for a bed, we knew nothing what belonged to it
for many years after my nurse died ; and in winter
we got into the ash-holes and nealing-arches in the
glass-house, called Dallow's Glass-house, in Rosemary
Lane, or at another glass-house in Ratcliff Highway.
In this manner we lived for some years ; and here
we failed not to fall among a gang of naked, ragged
rogues like ourselves, wicked as the devil could desire
to have them be at so early an age, and ripe for all
the other parts of mischief that suited them as they
advanced in years.
I remember that one cold winter night we were
disturbed in our rest with a constable and his watch
crying out for one Wry-neck, who, it seems, had done
some roguery, and required a hue-and-cry of that
kind ; and the watch were informed he was to be
found among the beggar-boys under the nealing-
arches in the glass-house.
The alarm being given, we were awakened in the
dead of the night with " Come out here, ye crew of
[11]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
young devils ; come out and show yourselves ; " so
we were all produced. Some came out rubbing their
eyes and scratching their heads, and others were
dragged out ; and I think there was about seventeen
of us in all, but Wry-neck as they called him, was not
among them. It seems this was a good big boy, that
used to be among the inhabitants of that place, and
had been concerned in a robbery the night before, in
which his comrade, who was taken, in hopes of escap
ing punishment, had discovered him, and informed
where he usually harboured ; but he was aware, it
seems, and had secured himself, at least for that time.
So we were allowed to return to our warm apartment
among the coal-ashes, where I slept many a cold
winter night ; nay, I may say, many a winter, as
sound and as comfortably as ever I did since, though
in better lodgings.
In this manner of living we went on a good while,
I believe two years, and neither did or meant any
harm. We generally went all three together; for,
in short, the captain, for want of address, and for
something disagreeable in him, would have starved
if we had not kept him with us. As we were always
together, we were generally known by the name of
the three Jacques ; but Colonel Jacque had always
the preference, upon many accounts. The major, as
I have said, was merry and pleasant, but the colonel
always held talk with the better sort I mean the
[12]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
better sort of those that would converse with a
beggar-boy. In this way of talk I was always upon
the inquiry, asking questions of things done in
public, as well as in private ; particularly, I loved
to talk with seamen and soldiers about the war, and
about the great sea-fights or battles on shore that
any of them had been in ; and, as I never forgot
anything they told me, I could soon, that is to say,
in a few years, give almost as good an account of the
Dutch war, and of the fights at *sea, the battles in
Flanders, the taking of Maestricht, and the like, as
any of those that had been there; and this made
those old soldiers and tars love to talk with me too,
and to tell me all the stories they could think of,
and that not only of the wars then going on, but
also of the wars in Oliver's time, the death of King
Charles L, and the like.
By this means, as young as I was, I was a kind
of an historian ; and though I had read no books,
and never had any books to read, yet I could give a
tolerable account of what had been done and of what
was then a-doing in the world, especially in those
things that our own people were concerned in. I
knew the names of every ship in the navy, and who
commanded them too, and all this before I was four
teen years old, or but very soon after.
Captain Jacque in this time fell into bad company,
and went away from us, and it was a good while
[13]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
before we ever heard tale or tidings of him, till
about half a year, I think, or thereabouts. I under
stood he was got among a gang of kidnappers, as
they were then called, being a sort of wicked fellows
that used to spirit people's children away ; that is,
snatch them up in the dark, and, stopping their
mouths, carry them to such houses where they had
rogues ready to receive them, and so carry them on
board ships bound to Virginia, and sell them.
This was a trade that horrid Jacque, for so I called
him when we were grown up, was very fit for, espe
cially the violent part ; for if a little child got into
his clutches, he would stop the breath of it, instead
of stopping its mouth, and never troubled his head
with the child's being almost strangled, so he did
but keep it from making a noise. There was, it
seems, some villainous thing done by this gang about
that time, whether a child was murdered among
them, or a child otherwise abused ; but it seems it
was a child of an eminent citizen, and the parent
somehow or other got a scent of the thing, so that
they recovered their child, though in a sad condition,
and almost killed. I was too young, and it was too
long ago, for me to remember the whole story, but
they were all taken up and sent to Newgate, and
Captain Jacque among the rest, though he was but
young, for he was not then much above thirteen
years old.
[14]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
What punishment was inflicted upon the rogues of
that gang I cannot tell now, but the captain, being
but a lad, was ordered to be three times soundly
whipped at Bridewell, my Lord Mayor, or the
Recorder, telling him it was done in pity to him, to
keep him from the gallows, not forgetting to tell
him that he had a hanging look, and bid him have
a care on that very account ; so remarkable was the
captain's countenance, even so young, and which he
heard of afterwards on many occasions. When he
was in Bridewell I heard of his misfortune, and
the major and I went to see him ; for this was the
first news we heard of what became of him.
The very day that we went he was called out to
be corrected, as they called it, according to his
sentence ; and as it was ordered to be done soundly,
so indeed they were true to the sentence ; for the
alderman who was the president of Bridewell, and
whom I think they called Sir William Turner, held
preaching to him about how young he was, and what
pity it was such a youth should come to be hanged,
and a great deal more ; how he should take warning
by it, and how wicked a thing it was that they
should steal away poor innocent children, and the
like ; and all this while the man with a blue badge
on lashed him most unmercifully, for he was not to
leave off till Sir William knocked with a little ham
mer on the table.
[15]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
The poor captain stamped and danced, and roared
out like a mad boy ; and I must confess I was
frighted almost to death ; for though I could not
come near enough, being but a poor boy, to see how
he was handled, yet I saw him afterwards with his
back all wealed with the lashes, and in several places
bloody, and thought I should have died with the
sight of it ; but I grew better acquainted with those
things afterwards.
I did what I could to comfort the poor captain
when I got leave to come to him. But the worst
was not over with him, for he was to have two more
such whippings before they had done with him ; and
indeed they scourged him so severely that they made
him sick of the kidnapping trade for a great while ;
but he fell in among them again, and kept among
them as long as that trade lasted, for it ceased in a
few years afterwards.
The major and I, though very young, had sensible
impressions made upon us for some time by the severe
usage of the captain, and it might be very well said
we were corrected as well as he, though not con
cerned in the crime ; but it was within the year
that the major, a good-conditioned, easy boy, was
wheedled away by a couple of young rogues that
frequented the glass-house apartments, to take a
walk with them, as they were pleased to call it. The
gentlemen were very well matched ; the major was
[16]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
about twelve years old, and the oldest of the two that
led him out was not above fourteen. The business
was to go to Bartholomew Fair, and the end of going
to Bartholomew Fair was, in short, to pick pockets.
The major knew nothing of the trade, and there
fore was to do nothing; but they promised him a
share with them for all that, as if he had been as ex
pert as themselves. So away they went. The two
dexterous young rogues managed it so well that by
eight o'clock at night they came back to our dusty
quarters at the glass-house, and, sitting them down
in a corner, they began to share their spoil, by the
light of the glass-house fire. The major lugged out
the goods, for as fast as they made any purchase
they unloaded themselves, and gave all to him, that,
if they had been taken, nothing might be found
about them.
It was a devilish lucky day to them, the devil
certainly assisting them to find their prey, that he
might draw in a young gamester, and encourage him
to the undertaking, who had been made backward
before by the misfortune of the captain. The list
of their purchase the first night was as follows :
1. A white handkerchief from a country wench,
as she was staring up at a jack-pudding ; there was
3s. 6d. and a row of pins tied up in one end of it.
2. A coloured handkerchief, out of a young coun
try fellow's pocket as he was buying a china orange.
TOL.I.-2 [17]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
3. A riband purse with 11s. 3d. and a silver
thimble in it, out of a young woman's pocket, just
as a fellow offered to pick her up.
N.B. She missed her purse presently, but, not
seeing the thief, charged the man with it that would
have picked her up, and cried out, " A pickpocket ! "
and he fell into the hands of the mob, but, being
known in the street, he got off with great difficulty.
4. A knife and fork, that a couple of boys had
just bought and were going home with ; the young
rogue that took it got it within the minute after the
boy had put it in his pocket.
5. A little silver box with 7s. in it, all in small
silver, Id., 2d., 3d., 4d. pieces.
N.B. This, it seems, a maid pulled out of her
pocket, to pay at her going into the booth to see a
show, and the little rogue got his hand in and fetched
it off, just as she put it up again.
6. Another silk handkerchief, out of a gentleman's
pocket.
7. Another.
8. A jointed baby and a little looking-glass,
stolen off a toy-seller's stall in the fair.
All this cargo to be brought home clear in one
afternoon, or evening rather, and by only two little
rogues so young, was, it must be confessed, extraor
dinary ; and the major was elevated the next day to
a strange degree.
[18]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
He came very early to me, who lay not far from
him, and said to me, " Colonel Jacque, I want to
speak with you." " Well," said I, " what do you
say ? " " Nay," said he, " it is business of conse
quence ; I cannot talk here ; " so we walked out.
As soon as we were come out into a narrow lane by
the glass-house, " Look here," says he, and pulls out
his little hand almost full of money.
I was surprised at the sight, when he puts it up
again, and, bringing his hand out, " Here," says he,
" you shall have some of it ; " and gives me a sixpence
and a shilling's worth of the small silver pieces.
This was very welcome to me, who, as much as I
was of a gentleman, and as much as I thought of
myself upon that account, never had a shilling of
money together before in all my life, not that I
could call my own.
I was very earnest then to know how he came by
this wealth, for he had for his share 7s. 6d. in money,
the silver thimble, and a silk handkerchief, which
was, in short, an estate to him, that never had, as I
said of myself, a shilling together in his life.
" And what will you do with it now, Jacque ? "
said I. " I do ? " says he. " The first thing I do
1 11 go into Rag Fair and buy me a pair of shoes
and stockings." " That 's right," says I, " and so
will I too ; " so away we went together, and we
bought each of us a pair of Rag Fair stockings in
[19]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
the first place for fivepence ; not fivepence a pair,
but fivepence together ; and good stockings they
were too, much above our wear, I assure you.
We found it more difficult to fit ourselves with
shoes ; but at last, having looked a great while be
fore we could find any good enough for us, we found
a shop very well stored, and of these we bought two
pair for sixteenpence.
We put them on immediately, to our great com
fort, for we had neither of us had any stockings to
our legs that had any feet to them for a long time.
I found myself so refreshed with having a pair of
warm stockings on, and a pair of dry shoes things,
I say, which I had not been acquainted with a great
while that I began to call to my mind my being
a gentleman, and now I thought it began to come
to pass. When we had thus fitted ourselves I said,
" Hark ye, Major Jacque, you and I never had
any money in our lives before, and we never had a
good dinner in all our lives. What if we should
go somewhere and get some victuals? I am very
hungry."
" So we will, then," says the major ; " I am hun
gry too." So we went to a boiling cook's in Rose
mary Lane, where we treated ourselves nobly, and,
as I thought with myself, we began to live like
gentlemen, for we had three pennyworth of boiled
beef, two pennyworth of pudding, a penny brick (as
[20]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
they call it, or loaf), and a whole pint of strong beer,
which was sevenpence in all.
N.B. We had each of us a good mess of charm
ing beef-broth into the bargain ; and, which cheered
my heart wonderfully, all the while we were at din
ner, the maid and the boy in the house, every time
they passed by the open box where we sat at our
dinner, would look in and cry, " Gentlemen, do you
call ? " and " Do ye call, gentlemen ? " I say, this
was as good to me as all my dinner.
Not the best housekeeper in Stepney parish, not
my Lord Mayor of London, no, not the greatest
man on earth, could be more happy in their own
imagination, and with less mixture of grief or re
flection, than I was at this new piece of felicity ;
though mine was but a small part of it, for Major
Jacque had an estate compared to me, as I had an
estate compared to what I had before ; in a word,
nothing but an utter ignorance of greater felicity,
which was my case, could make anybody think him
self so exalted as I did, though I had no share of
this booty but eighteenpence.
That night the major and I triumphed in our new
enjoyment, and slept with an undisturbed repose in
the usual place, surrounded with the warmth of the
glass-house fires above, which was a full amends
for all the ashes and cinders which we rolled in
below.
[21]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Those who know the position of the glass-houses,
and the arches where they neal the bottles after they
are made, know that those places where the ashes
are cast, and where the poor boys lie, are cavities in
the brickwork, perfectly close, except at the entrance,
and consequently warm as the dressing-room of a
bagnio, that it is impossible they can feel any cold
there, were it in Greenland or Nova Zembla, and
that therefore the boys lie there not only safe, but
very comfortably, the ashes excepted, which are no
grievance at all to them.
The next day the major and his comrades went
abroad again, and were still successful ; nor did any
disaster attend them, for I know not how many
months ; and, by frequent imitation and direction,
Major Jacque became as dexterous a pickpocket as
any of them, and went on through a long variety of
fortunes, too long to enter upon now, because I am
hastening to my own story, which at present is the
main thing I have to set down.
The major failed not to let me see every day the
effects of his new prosperity, and was so bountiful as
frequently to throw me a tester, sometimes a shil
ling ; and I might perceive that he began to have
clothes on his back, to leave the ash-hole, having
gotten a society lodging (of which I may give an
explanation by itself on another occasion) ; and
which was more, he took upon him to wear a shirt,
[22]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
which was what neither he or I had ventured to do
for three years before, and upward.
But I observed alf this while, that though Major
Jacque was so prosperous and had thriven so well,
and notwithstanding he was very kind, and even gen
erous, to me, in giving me money upon many occa
sions, yet he never invited me to enter myself into
the society or to embark with him, whereby I might
have been made as happy as he ; no, nor did he
recommend the employment to me at all.
I was not very well pleased with his being thus
reserved to me. I had learned from him in general
that the business was picking of pockets, and I
fancied that though the ingenuity of the trade con
sisted very much in sleight-of-hand, a good address,
and being very nimble, yet that it was not at all
difficult to learn ; and, especially, I thought the op
portunities were so many, the country people that
come to London so foolish, so gaping, and so en
gaged in looking about them, that it was a trade
with no great hazard annexed to it, and might be
easily learned, if I did but know in general the
manner of it, and how they went about it.
The subtle devil, never absent from his business,
but ready at all occasions to encourage his servants,
removed all these difficulties, and brought him into
an intimacy with one of the most exquisite divers, or
pickpockets, in the town ; and this, our intimacy,
[23]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
was of no less a kind than that, as I had an incli
nation to be as wicked as any of them, he was for
taking care that I should not be disappointed.
He was above the little fellows who went about
stealing trifles and baubles in Bartholomew Fair,
and ran the risk of being mobbed for three or four
shillings. His aim was at higher things, even at no
less than considerable sums of money, and bills for
more.
He solicited me earnestly to go and take a walk
with him as above, adding that after he had shown
me my trade a little, he would let me be as wicked
as I would ; that is, as he expressed it, that after he
had made me capable, I should set up for myself, if
I pleased, and he would only wish me good luck.
Accordingly, as Major Jacque went with his gen
tlemen only to see the manner, and receive the pur
chase, and yet come in for a share ; so he told me, if
he had success, I should have my share as much as if
I had been principal ; and this he assured me was a
custom of the trade, in order to encourage young
beginners, and bring them into the trade with cour
age, for that nothing was to be done if a man had
not the heart of the lion.
I hesitated at the matter a great while, objecting
the hazard, and telling the story of Captain Jacque,
my elder brother, as I might call him. " Well,
colonel,"" says he, " I find you are faint-hearted, and
[24]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
to be faint-hearted is indeed to be unfit for our
trade, for nothing but a bold heart can go through
stitch with this work ; but, however, as there is
nothing for you to do, so there is no risk for you
to run in these things the first time. If I am taken,"
says he, " you have nothing to do in it ; they will
let you go free ; for it shall easily be made appear,
that whatever I have done, you had no hand in it.""
Upon these persuasions I ventured out with him ;
but I soon found that my new friend was a thief of
quality, and a pickpocket above the ordinary rank,
and that aimed higher abundantly than my brother
Jacque. He was a bigger boy than I a great deal ;
for though I was now near fifteen years old, I was
not big of my age ; and as to the nature of the thing,
I was perfectly a stranger to it. I knew indeed what
at first I did not, for it was a good while before I
understood the thing as an offence. I looked on
picking pockets as a kind of trade, and thought I was
to go apprentice to it. It is true this was when I
was young in the society, as well as younger in years,
but even now I understood it to be only a thing for
which, if we were catched, we ran the risk of being
ducked or pumped, which we call soaking, and then
all was over ; and we made nothing of having our
rags wetted a little ; but I never understood, till a
great while after, that the crime was capital, and
that we might be sent to Newgate for it, till a great
[25]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
fellow, almost a man, one of our society, was hanged
for it ; and then I was terribly frighted, as you shall
hear by-and-by.
Well, upon the . persuasions of this lad, I walked
out with him ; a poor innocent boy, and (as I re
member my very thoughts perfectly well) I had no
evil in my intentions. I had never stolen anything
in my life ; and if a goldsmith had left me in his
shop, with heaps of money strewed all round me, and
bade me look after it, I should not have touched it,
I was so honest ; but the subtle tempter baited his
hook for me, as I was a child, in a manner suited to
my childishness, for I never took this picking of
pockets to be dishonesty, but, as I have said above,
I looked on it as a kind of trade that I was to be
bred up to, and so I entered upon it, till I became
hardened in it beyond the power of retreating.
And thus I was made a thief involuntarily, and went
on a length that few boys do, without coming to the
common period of that kind of life I mean to the
transport-ship, or to the gallows.
The first day I went abroad with my new instruc
tor, he carried me directly into the city, and as we
went first to the water-side, he led me into the long-
room at the custom-house. We were but a couple
of ragged boys at best, but I was much the worse.
My leader had a hat on, a shirt, and a neckcloth ; as
for me, I had neither of the three, nor had I spoiled
[26]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
my manners so much as to have a hat on my head
since my nurse died, which was now some years.
His orders to me were to keep always in sight, and
near him, but not close to him, nor to take any
notice of him at any time till he came to me ; and if
any hurly-burly happened, I should by no means
know him, or pretend to have anything to do with
him.
I observed my orders to a tittle. While he peered
into every corner and had his eye upon everybody, I
kept my eye directly upon him, but went always at
a distance, and on the other side of the long-room,
looking as it were for pins, and picking them up out
of the dust as I could find them, and then sticking
them on my sleeve, where I had at last gotten forty
or fifty good pins ; but still my eye was upon my
comrade, who, I observed, was very busy among the
crowds of people that stood at the board doing busi
ness with the officers who pass the entries and make
the cockets, &c.
At length he comes over to me, and stooping as if
he would take up a pin close to me, he put some
thing into my hand, and said, " Put that up, and
follow me downstairs quickly." He did not run,
but shuffled along apace through the crowd, and
went down, not the great stairs which we came in
at, but a little narrow staircase at the other end of
the long-room. I followed, and he found I did, and
[27]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
so went on, not stopping below, as I expected, nor
speaking one word to me, till, through innumerable
narrow passages, alleys, and dark ways, we were
got up into Fenchurch Street, and through Billiter
Lane into Leadenhall Street, and from thence into
Leadenhall Market.
It was not a meat-market day, so we had room to
sit down upon one of the butchers' stalls, and he
bid me lug out. What he had given me was a little
leather letter-case, with a French almanac stuck in
the inside of it, and a great many papers in it of
several kinds.
We looked them over, and found there was several
valuable bills in it, such as bills of exchange and
other notes, things I did not understand ; but
among the rest was a goldsmith's note, as he called
it, of one Sir Stephen Evans, for ^300, payable to
the bearer, and at demand. Besides this, there was
another note for d12, 10s., being a goldsmith's bill
too, but I forget the name. There was a bill or two
also written in French, which neither of us under
stood, but which, it seems, were things of value,
being called foreign bills accepted.
The rogue, my master, knew what belonged to the
goldsmiths' bills well enough, and I observed, when
he read the bill of Sir Stephen, he said, " This is too
big for me to meddle with ; " but when he came to
the bill ^12, 10s., he said to me, " This will do.
[28]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Come hither, Jacque;" so away he runs to Lombard
Street, and I after him, huddling the other papers
into the letter-case. As he went along he inquired
the name out immediately, and went directly to the
shop, put on a good, grave countenance, and had
the money paid him without any stop or question
asked. I stood on the other side the way looking
about the street, as not at all concerned with any
body that way, but observed that when he presented
the bill he pulled out the letter-case, as if he had
been a merchant's boy, acquainted with business,
and had other bills about him.
They paid him the money in gold, and he made
haste enough in telling it over, and came away,
passing by me, and going into Three King Court,
on the other side of the way ; then we crossed back
into Clement's Lane, made the best of our way to
Cole Harbour, at the water-side, and got a sculler
for a penny to carry us over the water to St. Mary
Overy's stairs, where we landed, and were safe
enough.
Here he turns to me ; " Colonel Jacque," says he,
" I believe you are a lucky boy ; this is a good job.
We '11 go away to St. George's Fields and share our
booty." Away we went to the Fields, and sitting
down in the grass, far enough out of the path, he
pulled out the money. "Look here, Jacque," says
he, " did you ever see the like before in your life ? "
[29]
" No, never," says I ; and added very innocently,
"Must we have it all?" "We have it!" says he.
" who should have it ? " " Why," says I, " must
the man have none of it again that lost it ? " " He
have it again ! " says he. " What d' ye mean by
that ? " " Nay, I don't know," says I. " Why, you
said just now you would let him have the f other
bill again, that you said was too big for you."
He laughed at me. " You are but a little boy,"
says he, " that "s true, but I thought you had not
been such a child neither ; " so he mighty gravely
explained the thing to me thus : that the bill of Sir
Stephen Evans was a great bill for dPSOO, " and if
I," says he, " that am but a poor lad, should venture
to go for the money, they will presently say, how
should I come by such a bill, and that I certainly
found it or stole it ; so they will stop me," says he,
" and take it away from me, and it may bring me
into trouble for it too ; so," says he, " I did say it
was too big for me to meddle with, and that I would
let the man have it again, if I could tell how. But
for the money, Jacque, the money that we have got,
I warrant you he should have none of that. Besides,"
says he, " whoever he be that has lost this letter-
case, to be sure, as soon as he missed it, he would
run to the goldsmith and give notice that if any
body came for the money they would be stopped ;
but I am too old for him there," says he.
[30]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
" Why,' 1 says I, " and what will you do with the
bill ? Will you throw it away ? If you do, some
body else will find it," says I, " and they will go and
take the money. 1 ' " No, no," says he ; " then they
will be stopped and examined, as I tell you I should
be." I did not know well what all this meant, so I
talked no more about that ; but we fell to handling
the money. As for me, I had never seen so much
together in all my life, nor did I know what in the
world to do with it, and once or twice I was agoing
to bid him keep it for me, which would have been
done like a child indeed, for, to be sure, I had never
heard a word more of it, though nothing had befallen
him.
However, as I happened to hold my tongue as to
that part, he shared the money very honestly with
me ; only at the end he told me, that though it was
true he promised me half, yet as it was the first time,
and I had done nothing but look on, so he thought
it was very well if I took a little less than he did ;
so he divided the money, which was <12, 10s., into
two exact parts, viz., 6, 5s. in each part ; then he
took 1, 5s. from my part, and told me I should
give him that for hansel. " Well," says I, " take it,
then, for I think you deserve it all : " so, however, I
took up the rest, and " What shall I do with this
now," says I, " for I have nowhere to put it ? "
" Why, have vou no pockets ? " says he. " Yes,"
[31]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
says I ; " but they are full of holes."' I have often
thought since that, and with some mirth too, how
I had really more wealth than I knew what to do
with ; for lodging I had none, nor any box or
drawer to hide my money in ; nor had I any pocket,
but such as I say was full of holes. I knew nobody
in the world that I could go and desire them to lay
it up for me ; for, being a poor naked, ragged boy,
they would presently say I had robbed somebody,
and perhaps lay hold of me, and my money would
be my crime, as they say it often is in foreign coun
tries. And now, as I was full of wealth, behold I
was full of care, for what to do to secure my money
I could not tell ; and this held me so long, and was
so vexatious to me the next day, that I truly sat
down and cried.
Nothing could be more perplexing than this
money was to me all that night. I earned it in
my hand a good while, for it was in gold, all but
14s. ; and that is to say, it was in four guineas, and
that 14s. was more difficult to carry than the four
guineas. At last I sat down and pulled off one of
my shoes, and put the four guineas into that ; but
after I had gone a while, my shoe hurt me so I
could not go, so I was fain to sit down again and
take it out of my shoe, and carry it in my hand.
Then I found a dirty linen rag in the street, and I
took that up and wrapped it all together, and car-
[99]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
ried it in that a good way. I have often since heard
people say, when they have been talking of money
that they could not get in, " I wish I had it in a
foul clout ; " in truth, I had mine in a foul clout ;
for it was foul, according to the letter of that say
ing, but it served me till I came to a convenient
place, and then 1 sat down and washed the cloth in
the kennel, and so then put my money in again.
Well, I carried it home with me to my lodging in
the glass-house, and when I went to go to sleep I
knew not what to do with it. If I had let any of
the black crew I was with know of it, I should have
been smothered in the ashes for it, or robbed of it,
or some trick or other put upon me for it ; so I knew
not what to do, but lay with it in my hand, and my
hand in my bosom. But then sleep went from my
eyes. Oh, the weight of human care ! I, a poor
beggar-boy, could not sleep so soon as I had but a
little money to keep, who before that could have
slept upon a heap of brick-bats, or stones, or cinders,
or anywhere, as sound as a rich man does on his
down bed, and sounder too.
Every now and then dropping asleep, I should
dream that my money was lost, and start like one
frighted ; then, finding it fast in my hand, try to go
to sleep again, but could not for a long while ; then
drop and start again. At last a fancy came into
my head that if I fell asleep I should dream of the
TOL. L 3 [33]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
money, and talk of it in my sleep, and tell that I
had money, which if I should do, and one of the
rogues should hear me, they would pick it out of
my bosom, and of my hand too, without waking me ;
and after that thought I could not sleep a wink
more ; so that I passed that night over in care and
anxiety enough ; and this, I may safely say, was the
first. night's rest that I lost by the cares of this life
and the deceitfulness of riches.
As soon as it was day I got out of the hole we lay
in, and rambled abroad in the fields towards Step
ney, and there I mused and considered what I should
do with this money, and many a time I wished that
I had not had it ; for, after all my ruminating upon
it, and what course I should take with it, or where I
should put it, I could not hit upon any one thing,
or any possible method to secure it, and it perplexed
me so that at last, as I said just now, I sat down
and cried heartily.
When my crying was over the case was the same ;
I had the money still, and what to do with it I could
not tell. At last it came into my head that I would
look out for some hole in a tree, and seek to hide
it there till I should have occasion for it. Big
was this discovery, as I then thought it. I began
to look about me for a tree; but there were no
trees in the fields about Stepney or Mile End that
looked fit for my purpose ; and if there were any that
[34]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
I began to look narrowly at, the fields were so full
of people that they would see if I went to hide any
thing there ; and I thought the people eyed me
as it was, and. that two men in particular followed
me to see what I intended to do.
This drove me farther off, and I crossed the road
at Mile End, and in the middle of the town went
down a lane that goes away to the Blind Beggar's at
Bethnal Green. When I came a little way in the
lane I found a footpath over the fields, and in those
fields several trees for my turn, as I thought. At
last one tree had a little hole in it, pretty high out
of my reach, and I climbed up the tree to get it,
and when I came there I put my hand in, and found
(as I thought) a place very fit, so I placed my treas
ure there, and was mighty well satisfied with it ; but,
behold, putting my hand in again to lay it more
commodiously, as I thought, of a sudden it slipped
away from me, and I found the tree was hollow, and
my little parcel was fallen in quite out of my reach,
and how far it might go in I knew not ; so that, in a
word, my money was quite gone, irrecoverably lost.
There could be no room so much as to hope ever to
see it again, for 't was a vast great tree.
As young as I was, I was now sensible what a fool
I was before, that I could not think of ways to keep
my mpney, but I must come thus far to throw it
into a hole where I could not reach it. Well, I
[35]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
thrust my hand quite up to my elbow, but no
bottom was to be found, or any end of the hole
or cavity. I got a stick of the tree, and thrust it
in a great way, but all was one. Then I cried, nay,
roared out, I was in such a passion. Then I got
down the tree again, then up again, and thrust in
my hand again till I scratched my arm and made it
bleed, and cried all the while most violently. Then
I began to think I had not so much as a halfpenny
of it left for a halfpenny roll, and I was hungry,
and then I cried again. Then I came away in
despair, crying and roaring like a little boy that had
been whipped ; then I went back again to the tree,
and up the tree again, and thus I did several times.
The last time I had gotten up the tree I happened
to come down not on the same side that I went up
and came down before, but on the other side of the
tree, and on the side of the bank also ; and, behold,
the tree had a great open place in the side of it
close to the ground, as old hollow trees often have ;
and looking into the open place, to my inexpressible
joy, there lay my money and my linen rag, all
wrapped up just as I had put it into the hole ; for
the tree being hollow all the way up, there had been
some moss or light stuff, which I had not judgment
enough to know was not firm, and had given way
when it came to drop out of my hand, and so it had
slipped quite down at once.
[36]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
I was but a child, and I rejoiced like a child, for
I halloed quite out loud when I saw it ; then I ran
to it, and snatched it up, hugged and kissed the
dirty rag a hundred times; then danced and jumped
about, ran from one end of the field to the other,
and, in short, I knew not what ; much less do I
know now what I did, though I shall never forget
the thing, either what a sinking grief it was to my
heart when I thought I had lost it, or what a flood
of joy overwhelmed me when I had got it again.
While I was in the first transport of my joy, as I
have said, I ran about, and knew not what I did ;
but when that was over I sat down, opened the foul
clout the money was in, looked at it, told it, found
it was all there, and then I fell a-crying as savourly
as I did before, when I thought I had lost it.
It would tire the reader should I dwell on all the
little boyish tricks that I played in the ecstasy
of my joy and satisfaction when I had found my
money ; so I break off here. Joy is as extravagant
as grief, and since I have been a man I have often
thought, that had such a thing befallen a man, so to
have lost all he had, and not have a bit of bread to
eat, and then so strangely to find it again, after
having given it so effectually over I say, had it
been so with a man, it might have hazarded his
using some violence upon himself.
Well, I came away with my money, and having
[87] "
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
taken sixpence out of it, before I made it up again I
went to a chandler's shop in Mile End and bought a
halfpenny roll and a halfpenny worth of cheese, and
sat down at the door after I bought it, and ate it
very heartily, and begged some beer to drink with it,
which the good woman gave me very freely.
Away I went then for the town, to see if I could
find any of my companions, and resolved I would try
no more hollow trees for my treasure. As I came
along Whitechapel I came by a broker's shop over
against the church, where they sold old clothes, for
I had nothing on but the worst of rags ; so I stopped
at the shop, and stood looking at the clothes which
hung at the door.
" Well, young gentleman," says a man that stood
at the door, " you look wishfully. Do you see any
thing you like, and will your pocket compass a good
coat now, for you look as if you belonged to the
ragged regiment ? " I was affronted at the fellow.
" What 's that to you," says I, " how ragged I am ?
If I had seen anything I liked, I have money to pay
for it ; but I can go where I shan't be huffed at for
looking."
While I said thus pretty boldly to the fellow
comes a woman out. " What ails you," says she to
the man, " to bully away our customers so ? A poor
boy's money is as good as my Lord Mayor's. If
poor people did not buy old clothes, what would
[38]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
become of our business ? " And then turning to me,
" Come hither, child," says she ; " if thou hast a mind
to anything I have, you shan't be hectored by him.
The boy is a pretty boy, I assure you," says she to
another woman that was by this time come to her.
" Ay," says the t' other, " so he is, a very well-looking
child, if he was clean and well dressed, and may be
as good a gentleman's son, for anything we know, as
any of those that are well dressed. Come, my dear,"
says she, " tell me what is it you would have." She
pleased me mightily to hear her talk of my being a
gentleman's son, and it brought former things to my
mind ; but when she talked of my being not clean
and in rags, then I cried.
She pressed me to tell her if I saw anything that
I wanted. I told her no, all the clothes I saw there
were too big for me. " Come, child," says she, " I
have two things here that will fit you, and I am sure
you want them both ; that is, first, a little hat, and
there," says she (tossing it to me), "I'll give you
that for nothing. And here is a good warm pair of
breeches ; I dare say," says she, " they will fit you,
and they are very tight and good ; and," says she,
" if you should ever come to have so much money
that you don't know what to do with it, here are
excellent good pockets," says she, " and a little fob
to put your gold in, or your watch in, when you
get it."
[39]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
It struck me with a strange kind of joy that I
should have a place to put my money in, and need
not go to hide it again in a hollow tree, that I was
ready to snatch the breeches out of her hands, and
wondered that I should be such a fool never to think
of buying me a pair of breeches before, that I might
have a pocket to put my money in, and not carry it
about two days together in my hand, and in my
shoes and I knew not how ; so, in a word, I gave her
two shillings for the breeches, and went over into the
churchyard and put them on, put my money into
my new pockets, and was as pleased as a prince is
with his coach and six horses. I thanked the good
woman too for the hat, and told her I would come
again when I got more money, and buy some other
things I wanted ; and so I came away.
I was but a boy, "t is true, but I thought myself a
man, now I had got a pocket to put my money in,
and I went directly to find out my companion by
whose means I got it; but I was frighted out of
my wits when I heard that he was earned to Bride
well. I made no question but it was for the letter-
case, and that I should be carried there too ; and
then my poor brother Captain Jacque's case came
into my head, and that I should be whipped there as
cruelly as he was, and I was in such a fright that I
knew not what to do.
But in the afternoon I met him ; he had been
[*>]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
carried to Bridewell, it seems, upon that very affair,
but was got out again. The case was thus : having
had such good luck at the custom-house the day be
fore, he takes his walk thither again, and as he was
in the long-room, gaping and staring about him, a
fellow lays hold of him, and calls to one of the
clerks that sat behind, " Here," says he, " is the
same young rogue that I told you I saw loitering
about t' other day, when the gentleman lost his letter-
case and his goldsmiths' bills ; I dare say it was he
that stole them."" Immediately the whole crowd of
people gathered about the boy, and charged him
point-blank ; but he was too well used to such
things to be frighted into a confession of what he
knew they could not prove, for he had nothing about
him belonging to it, nor had any money but six
pence and a few dirty farthings.
They threatened him, and pulled and hauled him,
till they almost pulled the clothes off his back, and
the commissioners examined him ; but all was one ;
he would own nothing, but said he walked up
through the room, only to see the place, both then
and the time before, for he had owned he was there
before ; so, as there was no proof against him of any
fact, no, nor of any circumstances relating to the
letter-case, they were forced at last to let him go.
However, they made a show of carrying him to Bride
well, and they did carry him to the gate to see if
[41]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
they could make him confess anything ; but he would
confess nothing, and they had no mittimus ; so they
durst not carry him into the house ; nor would the
people have received him, I suppose, if they had,
they having no warrant for putting him in prison.
Well, when they could get nothing out of him,
they carried him into an alehouse, and there they
told him that the letter-case had bills in it of a very
great value ; that they would be of no use to the
rogue that had them, but they would be of infinite
damage to the gentleman that had lost them ; and
that he had left word with the clerk, whom the man
that stopped this boy had called to, and who was
there with him, that he would give 30 to any one
that would bring them again, and give all the secur
ity that could be desired that he would give them no
trouble, whoever it was.
He was just come from out of their hands when I
met with him, and so he told me all the story.
" But," says he, "I would confess nothing, and so I
got off, and am come away clear." " Well," says I,
"and what will you do with the letter-case and the
bills ? Will you not let the poor man have his bills
again ? " " No, not I," says he ; "I won't trust
them. What care I for their bills ?" It came into
my head, as young as I was, that it was a sad thing
indeed to take a man's bills away for so much
money, and not have any advantage by it neither ;
[42]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
for I concluded that the gentleman who owned the
bills must lose all the money, and it was strange he
should keep the bills, and make a gentleman lose so
much money for nothing. I remember that I rumi
nated very much about it, and though I did not under
stand it very well, yet it lay upon my mind, and I
said every now and then to him, " Do let the gentle
man have his bills again; do, pray do ;" and so I
teased him, with " Do " and " Pray do," till at last
I cried about them. He said, " What, would you
have me be found out and sent to Bridewell, and be
whipped, as your brother Captain Jacque was ? " I
said, " No, I would not have you whipped, but I
would have the man have his bills, for they will do
you no good, but the gentleman will be undone,
it may be." And then I added again, " Do let him
have them." He snapped me short. " Why," says
he, " how shall I get them to him ? Who dare
carry them ? I dare not, to be sure, for they will
stop me, and bring the goldsmith to see if he does
not know me, and that I received the money, and so
they will prove the robbery, and I shall be hanged.
Would you have me be hanged, Jacque ? "
I was silenced a good while with that, for when he
said, " Would you have me be hanged, Jacque ? " I
had no more to say. But one day after this he
called to me. " Colonel Jacque," says he, " I have
thought of a way how the gentleman shall have his
[43]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
bills again ; and you and I shall get a good deal of
money by it, if you will be honest to me, as I was to
you." " Indeed," says I, " Robin " that was his
name "I will be very honest; let me know how it
is, for I would fain have him have his bills."
" Why," says he, " they told me that he had left
word at the clerk's place in the long-room that he
would give 30 to any one that had the bills, and
would restore them, and would ask no questions.
Now, if you will go, like a poor innocent boy, as you
are, into the long-room and speak to the clerk, it
may do. Tell him if the gentleman will do as he
promised, you believe you can tell him who has it ;
and if they are civil to you, and willing to be as
good as their words, you shall have the letter-case,
and give it them."
I told him ay, I would go with all my heart.
" But, Colonel Jacque," says he, " what if they
should take hold of you and threaten to have
you whipped ? Won't you discover me to them ? "
" No," says I ; "if they would whip me to death I
won't" " Well, then," says he, " there 's the letter-
case ; do you go." So he gave me directions how to
act and what to say ; but I would not take the
letter-case with me, lest they should prove false, and
take hold of me, thinking to find it upon me, and so
charge me with the fact ; so I left it with him. And
the next morning I went to the custom-house, as was
[44]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
agreed. What my directions were will, to avoid
repetition, appear in what happened ; it was an
errand of too much consequence indeed to be en
trusted to a boy, not only so young as I was, but
so little of a rogue as I was yet arrived to the
degree of.
Two things I was particularly armed with, which
I resolved upon : 1. That the man should have his
bills again ; for it seemed a horrible thing to me
that he should be made to lose his money, which I
supposed he must, purely because we would not
cany the letter-case home. 2. That whatever hap
pened to me, I was never to tell the name of my
comrade Robin, who had been the principal. With
these two pieces of honesty, for such they were both
in themselves, and with a manly heart, though a
boy's head, I went up into the long-room in the
custom-house the next day.
As soon as I came to the place where the thing
was done, I saw the man sit just where he had sat
before, and it ran in my head that he had sat there
ever since ; but I knew no better ; so I went up, and
stood just at that side of the writing-board that goes
upon that side of the room, and which I was but
just tall enough to lay my arms upon.
While I stood there one thrust me this way, and
another thrust me that way, and the man that sat
behind began to look at me. At last he called out
[45]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
to me, "What does that boy do there? Get you
gone, sirrah ! Are you one of the rogues that stole
the gentleman's letter-case a Monday last ? " Then
he turns his tale to a gentleman that was doing
business with him, and goes on thus : " Here was
Mr. had a very unlucky chance on Monday
last. Did not you hear of it ? " " No, not I," says
the gentleman. " Why, standing just there, where
you do," says he, " making his entries, he pulled out
his letter-case, and laid it down, as he says, but just
at his hand, while he reached over to the standish
there for a penful of ink, and somebody stole away
his letter-case."
" His letter-case ! " says t' other. " What, and
was there any bills in it?"
" Ay," says he, " there was Sir Stephen Evans's
note in it for cPSOO, and another goldsmith's bill for
about \2 ; and which is worse still for the gentle
man, he had two foreign accepted bills in it for a
great sum I know not how much. I think one
was a French bill for 1200 crowns."
" And who could it be ? " says the gentleman.
" Nobody knows," says he ; " but one of our room-
keepers says he saw a couple of young rogues like
that," pointing at me, " hanging about here, and that
oh a sudden they were both gone."
" Villains ! " says he again. " Why, what can they
do with them ? They will be of no use to them. I
[46]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
suppose he went immediately and gave notice to pre
vent the payment."
" Yes," says the clerk, " he did ; but the rogues
were too nimble for him with the little bill of ^12
odd money ; they went and got the money for that,
but all the rest are stopped. However, 't is an un
speakable damage to him for want of his money."
" Why, he should publish a reward for the en
couragement of those that have them to bring them
again ; they would be glad to bring them, I warrant
you."
" He has posted it up at the door that he will give
20 for them."
" Ay ; but he should add that he will promise not
to stop or give any trouble to the person that brings
them."
" He has done that too," says he ; " but I fear
they won't trust themselves to be honest, for fear he
should break his word."
" Why ? It is true he may break his word in that
case, but no man should do so ; for then no rogue
will venture to bring home anything that is stolen,
and so he would do an injury to others after him."
" I durst pawn my life for him, he would scorn it."
Thus far they discoursed of it, and then went off
to something else. I heard it all, but did not know
what to do a great while ; but at last, watching the
gentleman that went away, when he was gone I ran
[47]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
after him to have spoken to him, intending to have
broke it to him, but he went hastily into a room or
two full of people at the hither end of the long-
room ; and when I went to follow, the doorkeepers
turned me back, and told me I must not go in there ;
so I went back, and loitered about near the man
that sat behind the board, and hung about there till
I found the clock struck twelve, and the room began
to be thin of people ; and at last he sat there writ
ing, but nobody stood at the board before him, as
there had all the rest of the morning. Then I came
a little nearer, and stood close to the board, as I did
before ; when, looking up from his paper, and seeing
me, says he to me, " You have been up and down
here all this morning, sirrah ! What do you want ?
You have some business that is not very good, I
doubt."
" No, I han V said I.
" No ? It is well if you han't," says he. " Pray,
what business can you have in the long-room, sir ?
You are no merchant."
" I would speak with you," said I.
" With me ! " says he. " What have you to say
to me ? "
" I have something to say," said I, ** if you will do
me no harm for it."
**I do thee harm, child ! What harm should I do
the ? " and spoke very kindly.
[48]
" Won't you indeed, sir ? " said I.
" No, not I, child ; I '11 do thee no harm. What
is it ? Do you know anything of the gentleman's
letter- case ? "
I answered, but spoke softly that he could not
hear me ; so he gets over presently into the seat
next him, and opens a place that was made to come
out, and bade me come in to him ; and I did.
Then he asked me again if I knew anything of
the letter-case.
I spoke softly again, and said folks would hear
him.
Then he whispered softly, and asked me again.
I told him I believed I did, but that, indeed, I
had it not, nor had no hand in stealing it, but it was
gotten into the hands of a boy that would have
burned it, if it had not been for me ; and that I
heard him say that the gentleman would be glad to
have them again, and give a good deal of money
for them.
" I did say so, child, 11 said he ; " and if you can
get them for him, he shall give you a good reward,
no less than d30, as he has promised."
" But you said too, sir, to the gentleman just now, 1 "
said I, " that you was sure he would not bring them
into any harm that should bring them."
" No, you shall come to no harm. I will pass my
word for it."
VOL. x. 4 [ 49 ]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Boy. Nor shan't they make me bring other
people into trouble ?
Gent. No ; you shall not be asked the name of
anybody, nor to tell who they are.
Boy. I am but a poor boy, and I would fain have
the gentleman have his bills ; and indeed I did not
take them away, nor I han't got them.
Gent. But can you tell how the gentleman shall
have them ?
Boy. If I can get them, I will bring them to you
to-morrow morning.
Gent. Can you not do it to-night ?
Boy. I believe I may if I knew where to come.
Gent. Come to my house, child.
Boy. I don't know where you live.
Gent. Go along with me now, and you shall see.
So he carried me up into Tower Street, and showed
me his house, and ordered me to come there at five
o'clock at night ; which accordingly I did, and car
ried the letter-case with me.
When I came the gentleman asked me if I had
brought the book, as he called it.
" It is not a book," said I.
" No, the letter-case ; that 's all one," says he.
" You promised me," said I, " you would not hurt
me," and cried.
" Don't be afraid, child," says he. " I will not
hurt thee, poor boy ; nobody shall hurt thee."
[50]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
" Here it is," said I, and pulled it out.
He then brought in another gentleman, who, it
seems, owned the letter-case, and asked him if that
was it, and he said, " Yes."
Then he asked me if all the bills were in it.
I told him I heard him say there was one gone,
but I believed there was all the rest.
" Why do you believe so ? " says he.
" Because I heard the boy that I believe stole
them say they were too big for him to meddle with."
The gentleman then that owned them said,
"Where is the boy?"
Then the other gentleman put in, and said, " No,
you must not ask him that ; I passed my word that
you should not, and that he should not be obliged
to tell it to anybody."
" Well, child," says he, " you will let us see the
letter-case opened, and whether the bills are in
it?"
" Yes," says I.
Then the first gentleman said, " How many bills
were there in it ? "
" Only three," says he. " Besides the bill of ,12,
10s., there was Sir Stephen Evans's note for 200
and two foreign bills."
"Well, then, if they are in the letter-case, the
boy shall have 30, shall he not?" "Yes," says
the gentleman ; " he shall have it very freely."
[51]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
" Come, then, child, 11 says he, " let me open it."
So I gave it him, and he opened it, and there were
all three bills, and several other papers, fair and safe,
nothing defaced or diminished ; and the gentleman
said, "All is right"
Then said the first man, " Then I am security to
the poor boy for the money." " Well, but," says
the gentleman, " the rogues have got the <12, 10s. ;
they ought to reckon that as part of the .30."
Had he asked me, I should have consented to it at
first word ; but the first man stood my friend.
" Nay," says he, " it was since you knew that the
\%, 10s. was received that you offered 30 for the
other bills, and published it by the crier, and posted
it up at the custom-house door, and I promised him
the ^30 this morning." They argued long, and I
thought would have quarrelled about it.
However, at last they both yielded a little, and
the gentleman gave me 25 in good guineas. When
he gave it me he bade me hold out my hand, and he
told the money into my hand ; and when he had
done he asked me if it was right. I said I did not
know, but I believed it was. " Why," says he, " can't
you tell it?" I told him no; I never saw so much
money in my life, nor I did not know how to tell
money. " Why," says he, " don't you know that
they are guineas ? " No, I told him, I did not know
how much a guinea was.
[58]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
" Why, then," says he, " did you tell me you be
lieved it was right ?" I told him, because I believed
he would not give it me wrong.
" Poor child," says he, " thou knowest little of the
world, indeed. What art thou ? "
" I am a poor boy," says I, and cried.
" What is your name ? " says he. " But hold, I
forgot," said he ; "I promised I would not ask your
name, so you need not tell me."
" My name is Jacque," said I.
" Why, have you no surname ? " said he.
"What is that? "said I.
" You have some other name besides Jacque," says
he, * han't you ? "
" Yes," says I ; " they call me Colonel Jacque."
" But have you no other name ? "
" No," said I.
" How came you to be Colonel Jacque, pray ? "
"They say," said I, "my father's name was
Colonel."
" Is your father or mother alive ? " said he.
" No," said I ; " my father is dead."
" Where is your mother, then ? " said he.
" I never had e'er a mother," said I.
This made him laugh. " What," said he, " had
you never a mother ? What, then ? "
"I had a nurse," said I; "but she was not my
mother."
[58]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
" Well,"" says he to the gentleman, " I dare say this
boy was not the thief that stole your bills."
" Indeed, sir, I did not steal them," said I, and
cried again.
" No, no, child," said he, " we don't believe you
did. This is a very clever boy, 1 ' says he to the
other gentleman, " and yet very ignorant and hon
est ; 't is pity some care should not be taken of him,
and something done for him. Let us talk a little
more with him." So they sat down and drank wine,
and gave me some, and then the first gentleman
talked to me again.
" Well," says he, " what wilt thou do with this
money now thou hast it?"
" I don't know," said I.
" Where will you put it ? " said he,
" In my pocket," said I.
" In your pocket ! " said he. " Is your pocket
whole ? Shan't you lose it ? "
" Yes," said I, " my pocket is whole."
" And where will you put it when you get home ? "
" I. have no home," said I, and cried again.
" Poor child ! " said he. " Then what dost thou
do for thy living?"
" I go of errands," said I, " for the folks in Rose
mary Lane."
" And what dost thou do:for a lodging at night ? "
" I lie at the glass-house," said I, " at night."
[54]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
" How, lie at the glass-house ! Have they any
beds there ? " says he.
" I never lay in a bed in my life,"" said I, " as I
remember. "
" Why, 11 says he, " what do you lie on at the
glass-house ? "
" The ground, 11 says I ; " and sometimes a little
straw, or upon the warm ashes. 11
Here the gentleman that lost the bills said, " This
poor child is enough to make a man weep for the
miseries of human nature, and be thankful for him
self; he puts tears into my eyes. 11 " And into mine
too, 11 says the other.
" Well, but hark ye, Jacque, 11 says the first gentle
man, " do they give you no money when they send
you of errands ? "
" They give me victuals, 11 said I, " and that 's
better. 11
" But what, 11 says he, " do you do for clothes ? "
" They give me sometimes old things, 11 said I,
"such as they have to spare."
" Why, you have never a shirt on, I believe, 11 said
he, " have you ? "
" No ; I never had a shirt, 11 said I, " since my
nurse died. 11
" How long ago is that ? " said he.
" Six winters, when this is out," said I.
" Why, how old are you ? " said he.
"[55]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
"I can't tell," said I.
** Well," says the gentleman, " now you have this
money, won't you buy some clothes and a shirt with
some of it ? "
" Yes," said I, " I would buy some clothes."
" And what will you do with the rest ? "
" I can't tell," said I, and cried.
" What dost cry for, Jacque ? " said he.
" I am afraid," said I, and cried still.
"What art afraid of?"
" They will know I have money."
Well, and what then ? "
" Then I must sleep no more in the warm glass
house, and I shall be starved with cold. They will
take away my money."
" But why must you sleep there no more ? "
Here the gentlemen observed to one another how
naturally anxiety and perplexity attend those that
have money. " I warrant you," says the clerk,
" when this poor boy had no money he slept all
night in the straw, or on the warm ashes in the
glass-house, as soundly and as void of care as it
would be possible for any creature to do ; but now,
as soon as he has gotten money, the care of preserv
ing it brings tears into his eyes and fear into his
heart."
They asked me a great many questions more, to
which I answered in my childish way as well as I
[56]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
could, but so as pleased them well enough. At last
I was going away with a heavy pocket, and I assure
you not a light heart, for I was so frighted with
having so much money that I knew not what in the
earth to do with myself. I went away, however, and
walked a little way, but I could not tell what to do ;
so, after rambling two hours or thereabout, I went
back again, and sat down at the gentleman's door,
and there I cried as long as I had any moisture in
my head to make tears of, but never knocked at the
door.
I had not sat long, I suppose, but somebody be
longing to the family got knowledge of it, and a
maid came and talked to me, but I said little to her,
only cried still. At length it came to the gentle
man's ears. As for the merchant, he was gone.
When the gentleman heard of me he called me in,
and began to talk with me again, and asked me what
I stayed for.
I told him I had not stayed there all that while, for
I had been gone a great while, and was come again.
" Well," says he, " but what did you come again
for?"
" I can't tell," says I.
" And what do you cry so for ? " said he. " I hope
you have not lost your money, have you ? "
No, I told him, I had not lost it yet, but was
afraid I should.
[57]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
" And does that make you cry ? " says he.
I told him yes, for I knew I should not be able to
keep it, but they would cheat me of it, or they would
kill me and take it away from me too.
" They ? * says he. " Who ? What sort of gangs
of people art thou with ? "
I told him they were all boys, but very wicked
boys ; " thieves and pickpockets," said I, " such as
stole this letter-case a sad pack ; I can't abide
them."
" Well, Jacque," said he, " what shall be done for
thee? Will you leave it with me? Shall I keep
it for you?"
"Yes," said I, "with all my heart, if you
please."
" Come, then," says he, " give it me ; and that
you may be sure that I have it, and you shall have
it honestly again, I '11 give you a bill for it, and for
the interest of it, and that you may keep safe enough.
Nay," added he, " and if you lose it, or anybody takes
it from you, none shall receive the money but your
self, or any part of it."
I presently pulled out all the money, and gave it
to him, only keeping about 15s. for myself to buy
some clothes ; and thus ended the conference between
us on the first occasion, at least for the first time.
Having thus secured my money to my full satis
faction, I was then perfectly easy, and accordingly
[58]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
the sad thoughts that afflicted my mind before began
to vanish away.
This was enough to let any one see how all the
sorrows and anxieties of men's lives come about;
how they rise from their restless pushing at getting
of money, and the restless cares of keeping it when
they have got it. I that had nothing, and had not
known what it was to have had anything, knew noth
ing of the care, either of getting or of keeping it ; I
wanted nothing, who wanted everything ; I had no
care, no concern about where I should get my
victuals or how I should lodge; I knew not what
money was, or what to do with it ; and never knew
what it was not to sleep till I had money to keep,
and was afraid of losing it.
I had, without doubt, an opportunity at this
time, if I had not been too foolish, and too much a
child to speak for myself I had an opportunity, I
say, to have got into the service, or perhaps to be
under some of the care and concern, of these gentle
men ; for they seemed to be very fond of doing some
thing for me, and were surprised at the innocence of
my talk to them, as well as at the misery (as they
thought it) of my condition.
But I acted indeed like a child ; and leaving my
money, as I have said, I never went near them for
several years after. What course I took, and what
befell me in that interval, has so much variety in it,
[59]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
and carries so much instruction in it, that it requires
an account of it by itself.
The first happy chance that offered itself to me
in the world was now over. I had got money, but
I neither knew the value of it or the use of it ;
the way of living I had begun was so natural to me,
I had no notion of bettering it ; I had not so much
as any desire of buying me any clothes no, not so
much as a shirt ; and much less had I any thought
of getting any other lodging than in the glass-house,
and loitering about the streets, as I had done ; for I
knew no good, and had tasted no evil ; that is to
say, the life I had led being not evil in my account.
In this state of ignorance I returned to my really
miserable life ; so it was in itself, and was only not
so to me because I did not understand how to judge
of it, and had known no better.
My comrade that gave me back the bills, and who,
if I had not pressed him, designed never to have re
stored them, never asked me what I had given me,
but told me if they gave me anything it should be
my own ; for, as he said he would not run the ven
ture of being seen in the restoring them, I deserved
the reward if there was any ; neither did he trouble
his head with inquiring what I had, or whether I had
anything or no ; so my title to what I had got was
clear.
I went now up and down just as I did before. I
[60]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
had money indeed in my pocket, but I let nobody
know it. I went of errands cheerfully as before, and
accepted of what anybody gave me with as much
thankfulness as ever. The only difference that I
made with myself was, that if I was hungry, and
nobody employed me, or gave me anything to eat, I
did not beg from door to door, as I did at first, but
went to a boiling-house, as I said once before, and
got a mess of broth and a piece of bread, price a
halfpenny ; very seldom any meat ; or if I treated
myself, it was a halfpennyworth of cheese ; all which
expense did not amount to above twopence or three
pence a week ; for, contrary to the usage of the rest
of the tribe, I was extremely frugal, and I had not
disposed of any of the guineas which I had at first ;
neither, as I said to the custom-house gentleman,
could I tell what a guinea was made of, or what it
was worth.
After I had been about a month thus, and had
done nothing, my comrade, as I called him, came to
me one morning. " Colonel Jacque," says he, " when
shall you and I take a walk again ? " " When you
will,' 1 said I. " Have you got no business yet ? " says
he. "No," says I; and so one thing bringing on
another, he told me I was a fortunate wretch, and
he believed I would be so again, but that he must
make a new bargain with me now ; " for, 11 says he,
" colonel, the first time we always let a raw brother
[61]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
come in for full share to encourage him ; but after
wards, except it be when he puts himself forward
well and runs equal hazard, he stands to courtesy ;
but as we are gentlemen, we always do very honour
ably by one another ; and if you are willing to trust
it or leave it to me, I shall do handsomely by you,
that you may depend upon. 11 I told him I was not
able to do anything, that was certain, for I did not
understand it, and therefore I could not expect to get
anything, but I would do as he bade me ; so we
walked abroad together.
We went no more to the custom-house ; it was
too bold a venture. Besides, I did not care to show
myself again, especially with him in company. But
we went directly to the Exchange, and we hankered
about in Castle Alley, and in Swithin's Alley, and
at the coffee-house doors. It was a very unlucky
day, for we got nothing all day but two or three
handkerchiefs, and came home to the old lodgings at
the glass-house ; nor had I had anything to eat or
drink all day but a piece of bread which he gave me,
and some water at the conduit at the Exchange
Gate. So when he was gone from me, for he did
not lie in the glass-house, as I did, I went to my old
broth-house for my usual bait, and refreshed myself,
and the next day early went to meet him again, as
he appointed me.
Being early in the morning, he took his walk to
[62]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Billingsgate, where it seems two sorts of people make
a great crowd as soon as it is light, and at that
time a-year rather before daylight ; that is to say,
crimps and the masters of coal-ships, whom they call
collier-masters ; and, secondly, fishmongers, fish-
sellers, and buyers of fish.
It was the first of these people that he had his
eye upon. So he gives me my orders, which was
thus : " Go you," says he, " into all the alehouses as
we go along, and observe where any people are tell
ing of money ; and when you find any, come and
tell me." So he stood at the door, and I went into
the houses. As the collier-masters generally sell
their coals at the gate, as they call it, so they gene
rally receive their money in those alehouses ; and it
was not long before I brought him word of several.
Upon this he went in and made his observations, but
found nothing to his purpose. At length I brought
him word that there was a man in such a house who
had received a great deal of money of somebody, I
believed of several people, and that it lay all upon
the table in heaps, and he was very busy writing
down the sums and putting it up in several bags.
** Is he ? " says he ; "I '11 warrant him I will have
some of it ; " and in he goes. He walks up and
down the house, which had several open tables and
boxes in it, and he listened to hear, if he could, what
the man's name was; and he heard somebody call
[63]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
him Cullum, or some such name. Then he watches
his opportunity, and steps up to him, and tells him
a long story, that there was two gentlemen at the
Gun tavern sent him to inquire for him, and to tell
him they desired to speak with him.
The collier- master had his money lay before him,
just as I had told him, and had two or three small
payments of money, which he had put up in little
black dirty bags, and lay by themselves ; and as it
was hardly broad day, he found means in delivering
his message to lay his hands upon one of those bags,
and carry it off perfectly undiscovered.
When we had got it he came out to me, who
stood but at the door, and pulling me by the sleeve,
"Run, Jacque," says he, "for our lives;" and away
he scours, and I after him, never resting, or scarce
looking about me, till we got quite up into Fen-
church Street, through Lime Street into Leadenhall
Street, down St. Mary Axe to London Wall, then
through Bishopsgate Street and down Old Bedlam
into Moorfields. By this time we were neither of
us able to run very fast ; nor need we have gone so
far, for I never found that anybody pursued us.
When we got into Moorfields and began to take
breath, I asked him what it was frighted him so.
" Fright me, you fool ! " says he ; "I have got a
devilish great bag of money ." "A bag!"" said I.
" Ay, ay," said he ; " let us get out into the fields
[64]
where nobody can see us, and 1 11 show it you. 1 ' So
away he had me through Long Alley, and cross Hog
Lane and Holloway Lane, into the middle of the
great field, which since that has been called the
Farthing Pie-House Fields. There we would have
sat down, but it was all full of water ; so we went
on, crossed the road at Anniseed Cleer, and went
into the field where now the great hospital stands;
and finding a by-place, we sat down, and he pulls
out the bag. " Thou art a lucky boy, Jacque," says
he ; " thou deservest a good share of this job, truly ;
for it is all along of thy lucky news." So he pours
it all out into my hat ; for, as I told you, I now
wore a hat.
How he did to whip away such a bag of money
from any man that was awake and in his senses I
cannot tell ; but there was a great deal in it, and
among it a paperful by itself. When the paper
dropped out of the bag, " Hold," says he, " that is
gold ! " and began to crow and hollow like a mad
boy. But there he was baulked ; for it was a paper
of old thirteenpence-halfpenny pieces, half and
quarter pieces, with ninepences and fourpence-half-
pennies all old crooked money, Scotch and Irish
coin ; so he was disappointed in that. But as it
was there was about 17 or 18 in the bag, as I
understood by him ; for I could not tell money,
not I.
70L.I.-5 [65]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Well, he parted this money into three ; that is to
Bay, into three shares two for himself and one for
me, and asked if I was content. I told him yes, I
had reason to be contented. Besides, it was so much
money added to that I had left of his former adven
ture that I knew not what to do with it, or with
myself, while I had so much about me.
This was a most exquisite fellow for a thief ; for
he had the greatest dexterity at conveying anything
away that he scarce ever pitched upon anything in
his eye but he carried it off with his hands, and never
that I know of missed his aim or was caught in the
fact.
He was an eminent pickpocket, and very dexter
ous at ladies 1 gold watches ; but he generally pushed
higher at such desperate things as these ; and he
came off the cleanest and with the greatest success
imaginable ; and it was in these kinds of the wicked
art of thieving that I became his scholar.
As we were now so rich, he would not let me lie
any longer in the glass-house, or go naked and ragged
as I had done, but obliged me to buy two shirts,
a waistcoat, and a greatcoat; for a greatcoat was
more for our purpose in the business we was upon
than any other. So I clothed myself as he directed,
and he took me a lodging in the same house with
him, and we lodged together in a little garret fit for
our quality.
[66]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Soon after this we walked out again, and then we
tried' our fortune in the places by the Exchange a
second tihie. Here we began to act separately, and
I undertook to walk by myself; and the first thing I
did accurately was a trick I played that argued some
skill for a new beginner ; for I had never seen any
business of that kind done before. I saw two gentle
men mighty eager in talk, and one pulled out a
pocket-book two or three times, and then slipt it
into his coat-pocket again, and then out it came
again, and papers were taken out and others were
put in ; and then in it went again, and so several
times ; the man being still warmly engaged with
another man, and two or three others standing hard
by them. The last time he put his pocket-book into
his pocket, he might be said to throw it in rather
than put it in with his hand, and the book lay end-
way, resting upon some other book or something
else in his pocket ; so that it did not go quite
down, but one corner of it was seen above his
pocket.
This careless way of men putting their pocket-
books into a coat-pocket, which is so easily dived
into by the least boy that has been used to the
trade, can never be too much blamed. The gentle
men are in great hurries, their heads and thoughts
entirely taken up, and it is impossible they should
be guarded enough against such little hawkVeyed
[67]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
creatures as we were ; and, therefore, they ought
either never to put their pocket-books up at all, or
to put them up more secure, or to put nothing of
value into them. I happened to be just opposite to
this gentleman in that they call Swithin's Alley, or
that alley rather which is between Swithin's Alley
and the Exchange, just by a passage that goes out
of the alley into the Exchange, when, seeing the
book pass and repass into the pocket and out of the
pocket as above, it came immediately into my head,
certainly I might get that pocket-book out if I were
nimble, and I warrant Will would have it, if he saw
it go and come to and again as I did. But when
I saw it hang by the way, as I have said, " Now it
is mine," said I to myself, and, crossing the alley, I
brushed smoothly but closely by the man, with my
hand down flat to my own side, and, taking hold of
it by the corner that appeared, the book came so
light into my hand, it was impossible the gentleman
should feel the least motion, or anybody else see me
take it away. I went directly forward into the
broad place on the north side of the Exchange,
then scoured down Bartholomew Lane, so into Token-
house Yard, into the alleys which pass through from
thence to London Wall, so through Moorgate, and
sat down on the grass in the second of the quarters
of Moorfields, towards the middle field; which was
the place that Will and I had appointed to meet at
[68]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
if either of us got any booty. When I came thither
Will was not come ; but I saw him coming in about
half-an-hour.
As soon as Will came to me I asked him what
booty he had gotten. He looked pale, and, as I
thought, frighted ; but he returned, " I have got
nothing, not I ; but, you lucky young dog, 11 says he,
"what have you got? Have not you got the gentle
man^ pocket-book in Swithin's Alley ? " " Yes,"
says I, and laughed at him ; " why, how did you
know it ? " " Know it ! " says he. " Why, the gen
tleman is raving and half distracted ; he stamps
and cries and tears his very clothes. He says he is
utterly undone and ruined, and the folks in the
alley say there is I know not how many thousand
pounds in it. What can be in it ? " says Will.
"Come, let us see."
Well, we lay close in the grass in the middle of
the quarter, so that nobody minded us ; and so we
opened the pocket-book, and there was a great many
bills and notes under men's hands ; some goldsmiths 1 ,
and some belonging to insurance offices, as they
call them, and the like. But that which was, it
seems, worth all the rest was that, in one of the
folds of the cover of the book, where there was a
case with several partitions, there was a paper full
of loose diamonds. The man, as we understood
afterward, was a Jew, who dealt in such goods, and
[69]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
who indeed ought to have taken more care of the
keeping of them.
Now was this booty too great, even for Will him
self, to manage ; for though by this time I was come
to understand things better than I did formerly,
when I knew not what belonged to money, yet Will
was better skilled by far in those things than I.
But this puzzled him too, as well as me. Now were
we something like the cock in the fable ; for all these
bills, and I think there was one bill of Sir Henry
Furness's for dPISOO, and all these diamonds, which
were worth about ^150, as they said I say, all
these things were of no value to us : one little purse
of gold would have been better to us than all of it-
" But come," says Will, " let us look over the bills
for a little one."
We looked over all the bills, and among them we
found a bill under a man's hand for 32. " Come,"
says Will, "let us go and inquire where this man
lives." So he went into the City again, and Will
went to the post-house, and asked there. They told
him he lived at Temple Bar. "Well," says Will,
" I will venture. I "11 go and receive the money ; it
may be he has not remembered to send to stop the
payment there."
But it came into his thoughts to take another
course. " Come," says Will, " I "11 go back to the
alley, and see if I can hear anything of what has
[70]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
happened, for I believe the hurry is not over yet. 11
It seems the man who lost the book was carried into
the King's Head tavern at the end of that alley, and
a great crowd was about the door.
Away goes Will, and watches and waits about the
place ; and then, seeing several people together, for
they were not all dispersed, he asks one or two what
was the matter. They tell him a long story of a
gentleman who had lost his -pocket-book, with
a great bag of diamonds in it, and bills for a great
many thousand pounds, and I know not what ; and
that they had been just crying it, and had offered
.^PlOO reward to any one who would discover and
restore it.
" I wish, 11 said he to one of them that parleyed
with him, "I did but know who has it ; I don't doubt
but I could help him to it again. Does he remem
ber nothing of anybody, boy or fellow, that was
near him ? If he could but describe him, it might
do/ 1 Somebody that overheard him was so forward
to assist the poor gentleman that they went up and
let him know what a young fellow, meaning Will,
had been talking at the door ; and down comes
another gentleman from him, and, taking Will
aside, asked him what he had said about it. Will
was a grave sort of a young man, that, though he
was an old soldier at the trade, had yet nothing of
it in his countenance ; and he answered that he was
[71]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
concerned in business where a great many of the
gangs of little pickpockets haunted, and if he
had but the least description of the person they
suspected, he durst say he could find him out,
and might perhaps get the things again for him.
Upon this he desired him to go up with him to
the gentleman, which he did accordingly ; and there,
he said, he sat leaning his head back to the chair,
pale as a cloth, disconsolate to a strange degree, and,
as Will described him, just like one under a sentence.
When they came to ask him whether he had seen
no boy or shabby fellow lurking near where he
stood, or passing, or re passing, and the like, he an
swered, " No, not any." Neither could he remember
that anybody had come near him. " Then," said
Will, "it will be very hard, if not impossible, to
find them out. However," said Will, " if you think
it worth while, I will put myself among those rogues,
though," says he, ** I care not for being seen among
them. But I will put in among them, and if it be
in any of those gangs, it is ten to one but I shall
hear something of it."
They asked him then if he had heard what terms
the gentleman had offered to have it restored ; he
answered, " No " (though he had been told at the
door). They answered, he had offered ^100.
" That is too much," says Will ; " but if you please
to leave it to me, I shall either get it for you for less
[72]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
than that, or not be able to get it for you at all."
Then the losing gentleman said to one of the other,
" Tell him that if he can get it lower, the overplus
shall be to himself." William said he would be very
glad to do the gentleman such a service, and would
leave the reward to himself. " Well, young man,"
says one of the gentlemen, " whatever you appoint
to the young artist that has done this roguery (for
I warrant he is an artist, let it be who it will), he
shall be paid, if it be within the ,100, and the
gentleman is willing to give you 50 besides for your
pains."
" Truly, sir," says Will very gravely, " it was by
mere chance that, coming by the door, and seeing
the crowd, I asked what the matter was. But if I
should be instrumental to get the unfortunate gentle
man his pocket-book and the things in it again, I
shall be very glad ; nor am I so rich neither, sir, but
50 is very well worth my while too." Then he
took directions who to come to, and who to give his
account to if he learned anything, and the like.
Will stayed so long that, as he and I agreed, I
went home, and he did not come to me till night ;
for we had considered before that it would not be
proper to come from them directly to me, lest they
should follow him and apprehend me. If he had
made no advances towards a treaty, he would have
come back in half-an-hour, as we agreed ; but staying
[73]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
late, we met at our night rendezvous, which was in
Rosemary Lane.
When he came he gave an account of all the dis
course, and particularly what a consternation the
gentleman was in who lost the pocket-book, and
that he did not doubt but we should get a good
round sum for the recovery of it.
We consulted all the evening about it, and con
cluded he should let them hear nothing of them the
next day at all ; and that the third day he should go,
but should make no discovery ; only that he had got
a scent of it, and that he believed he should have it,
and make it appear as difficult as possible, and to
start as many objections as he could. Accordingly,
the third day after he met with the gentleman, who,
he found, had been uneasy at his long stay, and told
him they were afraid that he only flattered them to
get from them, and that they had been too easy in
letting him go without a further examination.
He took upon him to be very grave with them,
and told them that if that was what he was like to
have for being so free as to tell them he thought he
might serve them, they might see that they had
wronged him, and were mistaken by his coming again
to them ; that if they thought they could do any
thing by examining him, they might go about it,
if they pleased, now ; that all he had to say to them
was, that he knew where some of the young rogues
[74]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
haunted who were famous for such things ; and that
by some inquiries, offering them money, and the like,
he believed they would be brought to betray one
another, and that so he might pick it out for them ;
and this he would say before a justice of peace, if
they thought fit ; and then all that he had to say
further to them was to tell them he had lost a day
or two in their service, and had got nothing but to
be suspected for his pains, and that after that he
had done, and they might seek their goods where
they could find them.
They began to listen a little upon that, and asked
him if he could give them any hopes of recovering
their loss. He told them that he was not afraid to
tell them that he believed he had heard some news of
them, and that what he had done had prevented all
the bills being burnt, book and all ; but that now he
ought not to be asked any more questions till they
should be pleased to answer him a question or two.
They told him they would give- him any satisfaction
they could, and bid him tell what he desired.
" Why, sir," says he, " how can you expect any
thief that had robbed you to such a considerable
value as this would come and put himself into your
hands, confess he had your goods, and restore them
to you, if you do not give them assurance that you
will not only give them the reward you agreed to,
but also give assurance that they shall not be
[75]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
stopped, questioned, or called to account before a
magistrate ? "
They said they would give all possible assurance of
it. " Nay," says he, " I do not know what assurance
you are able to give ; for when a poor fellow is in
your clutches and has shown you your goods, you
may seize upon him for a thief, and it is plain he
must be so. Then you go, take away your goods,
send him to prison, and what amends can he have of
you afterward ? "
They were entirely confounded with the difficulty ;
they asked him to try if he could get the things into
his hands, and they would pay him the money before
he let them go out of his hand, and he should
go away half-an-hour before they went out of the
room.
" No, gentlemen," says he, " that won't do now.
If you had talked so before you had talked of appre
hending me for nothing, I should have taken your
words ; but now it 'is plain you have had such a
thought in your heads, and how can I, or any one
else, be assured of safety ? "
Well, they thought of a great many particulars,
but nothing would do. At length the other people
who were present put in, that they should give
security to him, by a bond of .flOOO, that they
would not give the person any trouble whatsoever.
He pretended they could not be bound, nor could
[76]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
their obligation be of any value, and that their own
goods being once seen, they might seize them. " And
what would it signify," said he, " to put a poor pick
pocket to sue for his reward ? " They could not tell
what to say, but told him that he should take the
things of the boy, if it was a boy, and they would
be bound to pay him the money promised. He
laughed at them, and said, " No, gentlemen ; as I
am not the thief, so I shall be very loth to put my
self in the thiefs stead and lie at your mercy."
They told him they knew not what to do then,
and that it would be very hard he would not trust
them at all. He said he was very willing to trust
them and to serve them, but that it would be very
hard to be ruined and charged with the theft for
endeavouring to serve them.
They then offered to give it him under their
hands that they did not in the least suspect him ;
that they would never charge him with anything
about it ; that they acknowledged he went about to
inquire after the goods at their request ; and that if
he produced them, they would pay him so much
money, at or before the delivery of them, without
obliging him to name or produce that person he had
them from.
Upon this writing, signed by three gentlemen who
were present, and by the person in particular who
lost the things, the young gentleman told them he
[77]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
would go and do his utmost to get the pocket-book
and all that was in it.
Then he desired that they would in writing, before
hand, give him a particular of all the several things
that were in the book, that he might not have it
said, when he produced it, that there was not all ;
and he would have the said writing sealed up, and
he would make the book be sealed up when it was
given to him. This they agreed to ; and the gentle
man accordingly drew up a particular of all the bills
that he remembered, as he said, was in the book, and
also of the diamonds, as follows :
One bill under Sir Henry Furness's hand for
^1200.
One bill under Sir Charles Duncomb's hand for
,800, ^250 endorsed off = ^550.
One bill under the hand of J. Tassel, goldsmith,
One bill of Sir Francis Child, 39.
One bill of one Stewart, that kept a wager-office
and insurance, 350.
A paper containing thirty-seven loose diamonds,
value about 250.
A little paper containing three large rough dia
monds, and one large one polished and cut, value
For all these things they promised, first, to give him
whatever he agreed with the thief to give him, not
[78]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
exceeding ^50, and to give him 50 more for him
self for procuring them.
Now he had his cue, and now he came to me, and
told me honestly the whole story as above. So I de
livered him the book, and he told me that he thought
it was reasonable we should not take the full sum,
because he would seem to have done them some ser
vice, and so make them the easier. All this I agreed
to ; so he went the next day to the place, and the
gentlemen met him very punctually.
He told them at the first word he had done their
work, and, as he hoped, to their mind ; and told
them, if it had not been for the diamonds, he could
have got all for =10 ; but that the diamonds had
shone so bright in the boy's imagination that he
talked of running away to France or Holland, and
living there all his days like a gentleman ; at which
they laughed. " However, gentlemen, 11 said he,
" here is the book ; " and so pulled it out, wrapt up
in a dirty piece of a coloured handkerchief, as black
as the street could make it, and sealed with a piece
of sorry wax, and the impression of a farthing for
a seal.
Upon this, the note being also unsealed, at the
same time he pulled open the dirty rag, and showed
the gentleman his pocket-book ; at which he was
so over-surprised with joy, notwithstanding all the
preparatory discourse, that he was fain to call for a
[79]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
glass of wine or brandy to drink, to keep him from
fainting.
The book being opened, the paper of diamonds was
first taken out, and there they were every one ; only
the little paper was by itself; and the rough dia
monds that were in it were loose among the rest, but
he owned they were all there safe.
Then the bills were called over one by one, and
they found one bill for 80 more than the account
mentioned, besides several papers which were not for
money, though of consequence to the gentleman ; and
he acknowledged that all was very honestly returned.
" And now, young man," said they, " you shall see
we will deal as honestly by you ; " and so, in the first
place, they gave him 50 for himself, and then they
told out the 50 for me.
He took the 50 for himself, and put it up in his
pocket, wrapping it in paper, it being all in gold ;
then he began to tell over the other ^50. But when
he had told out ^30, " Hold, gentlemen," said he,
"as I have acted fairly for you, so you shall have no
reason to say I do not do so to the end. I have
taken 30, and for so much I agreed with the boy ;
and so there is 20 of your money again."
They stood looking one at another a good while,
as surprised at the honesty of it ; for till that time
they were not quite without a secret suspicion that
he was the thief; but that piece of policy cleared up
[80]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
his reputation to them. The gentleman that had
got his bills said softly to one of them, " Give it
him all.*' But the other said (softly too), " No,
no ; as long as he has got it abated, and is satisfied
with the 50 you have given him, 't is very well ; let
it go as it 1 is.* 1 This was not spoke so softly but he
heard it, and said, "No,"" too ; " I am very well sat
isfied ; I am glad I have got them for you ; " and so
they began to part.
But just before they were going away one of the
gentlemen said to him, " Young man, come, you see
we are just to you, and have done fairly, as you have
also ; and we will not desire you to tell us who this
cunning fellow is that got such a prize from this
gentleman ; but as you have talked with him, prithee,
can you tell us nothing of how he did it, that we
may beware of such sparks again ? "
"Sir," says Will, "when I shall tell you what
they say, and how' the particular case stood, the
gentleman would blame himself more than anybody
else, or as much at least. The young rogue that
catched this prize was out, it seems, with a comrade,
who is a nimble, experienced pickpocket as most in
London ; but at that time the artist was somewhere
at a distance, and this boy never had picked a
pocket in his life before ; but he says he stood over
against the passage into the Exchange, on the east
side, and the gentleman stood just by the passage ;
VOL. I. 6 [81]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
that he was very earnest in talking with some other
gentleman, and often pulled out this book and
opened it, and took papers out and put others in, and
returned it into his coat-pocket ; that the last time it
hitched at the pocket-hole, or stopt at something that
was in the pocket, and hung a little out, which the boy,
who had watched it a good while perceiving, he passes
by close to the gentleman, and carried it smoothly
off, without the gentleman's perceiving it at all."
He went on, and said, " T is very strange gentle
men should put pocket-books which have such
things in them into those loose pockets, and in so
careless a manner." "That's very true," says the
gentleman ; and so, with some other discourse of no
great signification, he came away to me.
We were now so rich that we scarce knew what
to do with our money ; at least I did not, for I had
no relations, no friends, nowhere to put anything I
had but in my pocket. As for. Will, he had a poor
mother, but wicked as himself, and he made her
rich and glad with his good success.
We divided this booty equally ; for though the
gaining it was mine, yet the improving of it was his,
and his management brought the money ; for neither
he or I could have made anything proportionable of
the thing any other way. As for the bills, there
was no room to doubt but unless they had been
carried that minute to the goldsmith's for the money,
[88]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
he would have come with notice to stop the payment,
and perhaps have come while the money was re
ceiving, and have taken hold of the person. And
then as to the diamonds, there had been no offering
them to sale by us poor boys to anybody but those
who were our known receivers, and they would have
given us nothing for them compared to what they
were worth ; for, as I understood afterwards, those
who made a trade of buying stolen goods took care
to have false weights, and cheat the poor devil that
stole them at least an ounce in three.
Upon the whole, we made the best of it many
ways besides. I had a strange kind of uninstructed
conscience at that time ; for though I made no
scruple of getting anything in this manner from
anybody, yet I could not bear destroying their bills
and papers, which were things that would do them a
great deal of hurt, and do me no good ; and I was
so tormented about it that I could not rest night or
day while I made the people easy from whom the
things were taken.
I was now rich, so rich that I knew not what to do
with my money or with myself. I had lived so near
and so close, that although, as I said, I did now
and then lay out twopence or threepence for mere
hunger, yet I had so many people who, as I said, em
ployed me, and who gave me victuals and sometimes
clothes, that in a whole year I had not quite spent
[83]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
the 15s. which I had saved of the custom-house gentle
man's money ; and I had the four guineas which was
of the first booty before that still in my pocket I
mean the money that I let fall into the tree.
But now I began to look higher ; and though Will
and I went abroad several times together, yet, when
small things offered, as handkerchiefs and such trifles,
we would not meddle with them, not caring to run
the risk for small matters. It fell out one day that,
as we were strolling about in West Smithfield on a
Friday, there happened to be an ancient country
gentleman in the market, selling some very large
bullocks. It seems they came out of Sussex, for we
heard him say there were no such bullocks in the
whole county of Suffolk. His worship, for so they
called him, had received the money for these bullocks
at a tavern, whose sign I forget now, and having
some of it in a bag, and the bag in his hand, he was
taken with a sudden fit of coughing, and stands to
cough, resting his hand with the bag of money in it
upon the bulk-head of a shop just by the Cloister
Gate in Smithfield ; that is to say, within three or
four doors of it. We were both just behind him.
Says Will to me, " Stand ready." Upon this he
makes an artificial stumble, and falls with his head
just against the old gentleman in the very moment
when he was coughing, ready to be strangled, and
quite spent for want of breath.
[8*3
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
The violence of the blow beat the old gentleman
quite down. The bag of money did not immediately
fly out of his hand, but I ran to get hold of it, and
gave it a quick snatch, pulled it clean away, and ran
like the wind down the Cloisters with it ; turned on
the left hand, as soon as I was through, and cut into
Little Britain, so into Bartholomew Close, then
across Aldersgate Street, through Paul's Alley into
Redcross Street, and so across all the streets, through
innumerable alleys, and never stopped till I got into
the second quarter of Moorfields, our old agreed
rendezvous.
Will, in the meantime, fell down with the old
gentleman, but soon got up. The old knight, for
such, it seems, he was, was frighted with the fall, and
his breath so stopped with his cough that he could
not recover himself to speak till some time ; during
which nimble Will was got up again, and walked
off. Nor could he call out, " Stop thief," or tell
anybody he had lost anything for a good while ; but,
coughing vehemently and looking red, till he was
almost black in the face, he cried, " The ro hegh,
hegh, hegh the rogues hegh have got
hegh, hegh, hegh, hegh, hegh, hegh ; " then he
would get a little breath, and at it again : " The
rogues hegh, hegh ; " and, after a great many
heghs and rogues, he brought it out " have got
away my bag of money ! "
[85]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
All this while the people understood nothing of
the matter ; and as for the rogues indeed, they had
time enough to get clear away, and in about an hour
Will came to the rendezvous. There we sat down in
the grass again, and turned out the money, which
proved to be eight guineas, and 5, 12s. in silver, so
that it made just ,14 together. This we shared
upon the spot, and went to work the same day for
more ; but whether it was that, being flushed with
our success, we were not so vigilant, or that no other
opportunity offered, I know not, but we got nothing
more that night, nor so much as anything offered
itself for an attempt.
We took many walks of this kind, sometimes to
gether, at a little distance from one another, and
several small hits we made ; but we were so flushed
with our success that truly we were above meddling
with trifles, as I said before no, not such things
that others would have been glad of; nothing but
pocket-books, letter-cases, or sums of money would
move us.
The next adventure was in the dusk of the even
ing, in a court which goes out of Gracechurch Street
into Lombard Street, where the Quakers' meeting
house is. There was a young fellow who, as we
learned afterward, was a woollen -draper's apprentice
in Gracechurch Street. It seems he had been receiv
ing a sum of money which was very considerable, and
[86]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
he comes to a goldsmith's shop in Lombard Street
with it ; paid in the most of it there ; insomuch that
it grew dark, and the goldsmith began to be shut
ting in shop, and candles to be lighted. We watched
him in there, and stood on the other side of the way to
see what he did. When he had paid in all the money
he intended, he stayed still some time longer, to take
notes, as I supposed, for what he had paid ; and by
this time it was still darker than before. At last he
comes out of the shop, with still a pretty large bag
under his arm, and walks over into the court, which
was then very dark. In the middle of the court is
a boarded entry, and farther, at the end of.it, a
threshold ; and as soon as he had set his foot over
the threshold, he was to turn on his left hand into
Gracechurch Street.
" Keep up," says Will to me ; "be nimble ; * and
as soon as he had said so he flies at the young man,
and gives him such a violent thrust that pushed him
forward with too great a force for him to stand ;
and as he strove to recover, the threshold took his
feet, and he fell forward into the other part of the
court, as if he had flown in the air, with his head
lying towards the Quakers' meeting-house. I stood
ready, and presently felt out the bag of money,
which I heard fall ; for it flew out of his hand, he
having his life to save, not his money. I went for
ward with the money, and Will, that threw him
[87]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
down, finding I had it, run backward, and as I made
along Fenchurch Street, Will overtook me, and we
scoured home together. The poor young man was
hurt a little with the fall, and reported to his master,
as we heard afterward, that he was knocked down,
which was not true, for neither Will or I had any
stick in our hands ; but the master of the youth was,
it seems, so very thankful that his young man was
not knocked down before he paid the rest of the
money (which was above 100 more) to the gold
smith, who was Sir John Sweetapple, that he made
no great noise at the loss he had, and, as we heard
afterward, only warned his apprentice to be more
careful and come no more through such places in the
dark ; whereas the man had really no such deliverance
as he imagined, for we saw him before, when he had
all the money about him ; but it was no time of day
for such work as we had to do, so that he was in no
danger before.
This booty amounted to dP29, 16s., which was 14>
18s. apiece, and added exceedingly to my store,
which began now to be very much too big for my
management ; and indeed I began to be now full of
care for the preservation of what I had got. I
wanted a trusty friend to commit it to; but where
was such a one to be found by a poor boy bred up
among thieves ? If I should have let any honest
body know that I had so much money, they would
[88]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
have asked me how I came by it, and would have
been afraid to take it into their hands, lest I being
some time or other catched in my rogueries, they
should be counted the receivers of stolen goods and
the encouragers of a thief.
We had, however, in the meantime a great many
other successful enterprises, some of one kind, some
of another, and were never so much as in danger of
being apprehended ; but my companion Will, who
was now grown a man, and encouraged by these
advantages, fell into quite another vein of wicked
ness, getting acquainted with a wretched gang of
fellows that turned their hands to everything that
was vile.
Will was a lusty, strong fellow, and withal very
bold and daring, would fight anybody and venture
upon anything ; and I found he began to be above
the mean rank of a poor pickpocket, so I saw him
but seldom. However, once coming to me in a very
friendly manner, and asking me how I went on, I
told him that I used the old trade still, that I had
had two or three good jobs : one with a young
woman, whose pocket I had picked of eleven guineas ;
and another, a countrywoman, just come out of a
stage-coach, seeing her pull out her bag to pay the
coachman ; and that I followed her till I got an
opportunity, and slipped it out so neatly that though
there was .8, 17s. in it, yet she never felt it go.
[89]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
And several other jobs I told him of, by which I
made pretty good purchase. " I always said you
were a lucky boy, Colonel Jacque," says he ; " but,
come, you are grown almost a man now, and you
shall not be always at play at push-pin. I am got
into better business, I assure you, and you shall come
into it too. I'll bring you into a brave gang,
Jacque," says he, " where you shall see we shall be
all gentlemen."
Then he told me the trade itself, in short, which
was with a set of fellows that had two of the most
desperate works upon their hands that belonged to
the whole art of thieving; that is to say, in the
evening they were footpads, and in the night they
were housebreakers. Will told me so many plausible
stories, and talked of such great things, that, in
short, I, who had been always used to do anything
he bid me do, went with him without any hesitation.
Nothing is more certain than that hitherto, being
partly from the gross ignorance of my untaught
childhood, as I observed before, partly from the
hardness and wickedness of the company I kept ; and
add to these that it was the business I might be said
to be brought up to I had, I say, all the way
hitherto, no manner of thoughts about the good or
evil of what I was embarked in ; consequently I had
no sense of conscience, no reproaches upon my mind
for having done amiss.
[90]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Yet I had something in me, by what secret influ
ence I knew not, kept me from the other degrees
of raking and vice, and, in short, from the general
wickedness of the rest of my companions. For ex
ample, I never used any ill words, nobody ever heard
me swear, nor was I given to drink, or to love strong
drink ; and I cannot omit a circumstance that very
much served to prevent it. I had a strange original
notion, as I have mentioned in its place, of my being
a gentleman ; and several things had casually hap
pened in my way to increase this fancy of mine.
It happened one day, that being in the Glass-house
Yard, between Rosemary Lane and Ratcliff High
way, there came a man dressed very well, and with a
coach attending him, and he came (as I suppose) to
buy glass-bottles, or some other goods, as they sold;
and in bargaining for his goods, he swore most
horrid oaths at every two or three words. At
length the master of the glass-house, an ancient,
grave gentleman, took the liberty to reprove him,
which at first made him swear the worse. After a
while the gentleman was a little calmer, but still he
swore very much, though not so bad as at first.
After some time the master of the glass-house
turned from him " Really, sir,"" says the good old
gentleman, " you swear so, and take God's name in
vain so, that I cannot bear to stay with you. I
would rather you would let my goods alone and go
[91]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
somewhere else. I hope you won't take it ill, but I
don't desire to deal with anybody that does so. I
am afraid my glass-house should fall on your head
while you stay in it."
The gentleman grew good-humoured at the re
proof, and said, " Well, come, don't go away ; I
won't swear any more," says he, " if I can help it ;
for I own," says he, " I should not do it."
With that the old gentleman looked up at him,
and, returning, "Really, sir," says he, "'tis pity you,
that seem to be a fine gentleman, well-bred and
good-humoured, should accustom yourself to such a
hateful practice. Why, 'tis not like a gentleman
to swear ; ' t is enough for my black wretches that
work there at the furnace, or for these ragged, naked,
blackguard boys," pointing at me, and some others
of the dirty crew that lay in the ashes. " 'T is bad
enough for them," says he, " and they ought to be
corrected for it, too ; but for a man of breeding,
sir," says he, "a gentleman, it ought to be looked
upon as below them. Gentlemen know better, and
are taught better, and it is plain you know better.
I beseech you, sir, when you are tempted to swear,
always ask yourself, 'Is this like a gentleman?
Does this become me as a gentleman ?' Do but
ask yourself that question, and your reason will
prevail you will soon leave it off."
I heard all this, and it made the blood run chill
[92]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
in my veins when he said swearing was only fit for
such as we were. In short, it made as great an
impression upon me as it did upon the gentleman ;
and yet he took it very kindly too, and thanked the
old gentleman for his advice. But from that time
forward I never had the least inclination to swear
ing or ill words, and abhorred it when I heard other
boys do it. As to drinking, I had no opportunity ;
for I had nothing to drink but water, or small-beer
that anybody gave me in charity, for they seldom
gave away strong beer; and after I had money, I
neither desired strong beer or cared to part with my
money to buy it.
Then as to principle, 't is true I had no founda
tion laid in me by education ; and being early led by
my fate into evil, I had the less sense of its being
evil left upon my mind. But when I began to grow
to an age of understanding, and to know that I was
a thief, growing up in all manner of villainy, and
ripening apace for the gallows, it came often into
my thoughts that I was going wrong, that I was in
the high-road to the devil ; and several times I
would stop short, and ask myself if this was the life
of a gentleman.
But these little things wore off again as often as
they came on, and I followed the old trade again,
especially when Will came to prompt me, as I have
observed, for he was a kind of a guide to me in all
[93]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
these things ; and I had, by custom and application,
together with seeing his way, learned to be as acute
a workman as my master.
But to go back where I left off. Will came to
me, as I have said, and telling me how much better
business he was fallen into, would have me go along
with him, and I should be a gentleman. Will, it
seems, understood that word in a quite different
manner from me ; for his gentleman was nothing
more or less than a gentleman thief, a villain of a
higher degree than a pickpocket, and one that might
do something more wicked, and better entitling him
to the gallows, than could be done in our way. But
my gentleman that I had my eye upon was another
thing quite, though I could not really tell how to
describe it either.
However, the word took with me, and I went with
him. We were neither of us old. Will was about
twenty-four ; and as for me, I was now about
eighteen, and pretty tall of my age.
The first time I went with him, he brought me
into the company only of two more young fellows.
We met at the lower part of Gray's Inn Lane, about
an hour before sunset, and went out into the fields
toward a place called Pindar of Wakefield, where
are abundance of brick-kilns. Here it was agreed
to spread from the field-path to the roadway, all the
way towards Pancras Church, to observe any chance
[94]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
game, as they called it, which they might shoot fly
ing. Upon the path within the bank on the side of
the road going towards Kentish Town, two of our
gang, Will and one of the others, met a single gen
tleman walking apace towards the town. Being
almost dark, Will cried, " Mark, ho ! " which, it
seems, was the word at which we were all to stand
still at a distance, come in if he wanted help, and
give a signal if anything appeared that was dan
gerous.
Will steps up to the gentleman, stops him, and
put the question ; that is, " Sir, your money ? "
The gentleman, seeing he was alone, struck at him
with his cane; but Will, a nimble, strong fellow,
flew in upon him, and with struggling got him down.
Then he begged for his life, Will having told him
with an oath that he would cut his throat. In that
moment, while this was doing, comes a hackney-
coach along the road, and the fourth man, who was
that way, cries, " Mark, ho ! " which was to intimate
that it was a prize, not a surprise. And accordingly
the next man went up to assist him, where they
stopped the coach, which had a doctor of physic and
a surgeon in it, who had been to visit some consider
able patient, and, I suppose, had had considerable
fees. For here they got two good purses, one with
eleven or twelve guineas, the other six with some
pocket-money, two watches, one diamond ring, and
[95]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
the surgeon's plaster-box, which was most of it full
of silver instruments.
While they were at this work, Will kept the man
down who was under him ; and though he promised
not to kill him, unless he offered to make a noise,
yet he would not let him stir till he heard the noise
of the coach going on again, by which he knew the
job was over on that side. Then he carried him a
little out of the way, tied his hands behind him, and
bade him lie still and make no noise, and he would
come back in half-an-hour and untie him, upon his
word ; but if he cried out, he would come back and
kill him.
The poor man promised to lie still and make no
noise, and did so ; and had not above 11s. 6d. in his
pocket, which Will took, and came back to the rest ;
but while they were together, I, who was on the side
of the Pindar of Wakeh'eld, cried, " Mark, ho ! " too.
What I saw was a couple of poor women, one a
kind of a nurse, and the other a maid-servant, going
for Kentish Town. As Will knew that I was but
young at the work, he came flying to me, and seeing
how easy a bargain it was, he said, " Go, colonel,
fall to work." I went up to them, and speaking to
the elderly woman, " Nurse," said I, " don't be in
such haste. I want to speak with you ;" at which
they both stopped, and looked a little frighted.
"Don't be frighted, sweetheart," said I to the maid;
[96]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
" a little of that money in the bottom of your pocket
will make all easy, and I \vill do you no harm." By
this time Will came up to us, for they did not
see him before ; then they began to scream out.
" Hold ! " says I ; " make no noise, unless you have
a mind to force us to murder you whether we will or
no. Give me your money presently, and make no
words, and we shan't hurt you." Upon this the poor
maid pulled out 5s. 6d., and the old woman a guinea
and a shilling, crying heartily for her money, and
said it was all she had left in the world. Well, we
took it for all that, though it made my very heart
bleed to see what agony the poor woman was in at
parting with it, and I asked her where she lived.
She said her name was Smith, and she lived at
Kentish Town. I said nothing to her, but bid them
go on about their business, and I gave Will the
money. So in a few minutes we were all together
again. Says one of the other rogues, " Come, this
is well enough for one road ; it 's time to be gone."
So we jogged away, crossing the fields, out of the
path towards Tottenham Court. " But hold ! " says
Will ; " I must go and untie the man." " D n
him," says one of them, " let him lie." " No," says
Will, " I won't be worse than my word ; I will untie
him." So he went to the place, but the man was
gone. Either he had untied himself, or somebody
had passed by, and he had called for help, and so
VOL.L 7 [97]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
was untied ; for he could not find him, nor make
him hear, though he ventured to call twice for him
aloud.
This made us hasten away the faster, and getting
into Tottenham Court Road, they thought it was a
little too near, so they made into the town at St.
Giles's, and crossing to Piccadilly, went to Hyde Park
gate. Here they ventured to rob another coach ; that
is to say, one of the two other rogues and Will did it,
between the Park gate and Knightsbridge. There
was in it only a gentleman and a whore that he had
picked up, it seems, at the Spring Garden, a little
farther. They took the gentleman's money, his watch,
and his silver-hilted sword ; but when they come to
the slut, she damned and cursed them for robbing the
gentleman of his money and leaving him none for her.
As for herself, she had not one sixpenny piece about
her, though she was indeed well enough dressed too.
Having made this adventure, we left that road too,
and went over the fields to Chelsea. In the way
from Westminster to Chelsea we met three gentle
men, but they were too strong for us to meddle with.
They had been afraid to come over the fields so late
(for by this time it was eight o'clock, and though
the moon gave some light, yet it was too late and too
dark to be safe) ; so they hired three men at Chelsea,
two with pitchforks, and the third, a waterman, with
a boathook staff to guard them. We would have
[98]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
steered clear of them, and cared not to have them
see us, if we could help it. But they did see us,
and cried, "Who comes there?" We answered,
" Friends ; " and so they went on, to our great
satisfaction.
When we came to Chelsea, it seems we had other
work to do, which I had not been made privy to ;
and this was a house to be robbed. They had some
intelligence, it seems, with a servant in the house,
who was of their gang. This rogue was a waiting-
man, or footman, and he had a watchword to let
them in by ; but this fellow, not for want of being a
villain, but by getting drunk and not minding his
part of the work, disappointed us. For he had
promised to rise at two o'clock in the morning and
let us all in ; but, being very drunk, and not come
in at eleven o'clock, his master ordered him to be
shut out and the doors locked up, and charged the
other servants not to let him in upon any terms
whatsoever.
We came about the house at one o'clock to make
our observations, intending to go and lie under Beau
fort House wall till the clock struck two, and then
to come again ; but, behold ! when we came to the
house, there lay the fellow at the door fast asleep, and
very drunk. Will, who, I found, was the leader in
all these things, waked the fellow, who, as he had had
about two hours' sleep, was a little come to himself,
[99]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
and told them the misfortune, as he called it, and
that he could not get in. They had some instru
ments about them, by which they could have broken
in by force ; but Will considered that as it was but
waiting till another time, and they should be let in
quietly, they resolved to give it over for that time.
But this was a happy drunken bout for the family ;
for the fellow having let fall some words in his drink
(for he was a saucy one as well as a drunken one, and
talked oddly), as that it had been better they had let
him in, and he would make them pay dear for it, or
some such thing, the master hearing of it, turned him
away in the morning, and never let him come into his
house again. So, I say, it was a happy drunkenness
to the family, for it saved them from being robbed,
and perhaps murdered ; for they were a cursed,
bloody crew, and, as I found, were about thirteen of
them in all, whereof three of them made it their
business to get into gentlemen's services, and so to
open doors in the night, and let the other rogues in
upon them to rob and destroy them.
I rambled this whole night with them. They went
from Chelsea, being disappointed there as above, to
Kensington. There they broke into a brewhouse and
washhouse, and by that means into an out-kitchen of
a gentleman's house, where they unhanged a small
copper, and brought it off, and stole about a hundred
weight of pewter, and went clear off with that too.
[100]
1
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
And every one going their own by-ways, they found
means to get safe to their several receptacles where
they used to dispose of such things.
We lay still the next day, and shared the effects
stolen that night, of which my share came to ^8, 19s.
The copper and pewter being weighed, and cas up, a
person was at hand to take it as money, at about half
value, and in the afternoon Will and I came away
together. Will was mighty full of the success we
had had, and how we might be sure of the like this
way every day. But he observed that I did not
seem so elevated at the success of that night's ramble
as I used to be, and also that I did not take any
great notice of the expectations he was in of what
was to come. Yet I had said little to him at that
time.
But my heart was full of the poor woman's case at
Kentish Town, and I resolved, if possible, to find her
out and give her her money. With the abhorrence
that filled my mind at the cruelty of that act, there
necessarily followed a little distaste for the thing
itself ; and now it came into my head with a double
force that this was the high road to the devil, and
that certainly this was not the life of a gentleman.
Will and I parted for that time ; but next morn
ing we met again, and Will was mighty brisk and
merry. " And now, Colonel Jacque," says he, " we
shall be rich very quickly." " Well," says I, " and
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
what shall we do when we are rich ? " " Do ! " says
he ; " we will buy a couple of good horses, and go
farther afield."
" What do you mean by farther afield ? " says I.
" Why," says he, " we will take the highway like gen
tlemen^ and then we shall get a great deal of money
indeed." "Well," says I, "what then?" "Why,
then," says he, "we shall live like gentlemen."
" But, Will," says I, " if we get a great deal of
money, shan't we leave this trade off, and sit down,
and be safe and quiet ? "
"Ay," says Will; "when we have got a great
estate, we shall be willing to lay it down." " But
where," says I, " shall we be before that time comes,
if we should drive on this cursed kind of trade ? "
" Prithee never think of that," says Will ; " if you
think of those things, you will never be fit to be a
gentleman." He touched me there indeed, for it
ran much in my mind still that I was to be a gentle
man, and it made me dumb for a while ; but I came
to myself after a little while, and I said to him,
pretty tartly, " Why, Will, do you call this way of
living the life of a gentleman ? "
" Why," says Will, " why not ?"
" Why," says I, " was it like a gentleman for me
to take that 22s. from a poor ancient woman, when
she begged of me upon her knees not to take it, and
told me it was all she had in the world to buy her
[102]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
bread for herself and a sick child which she had at
home ? Do you think I could be so cruel, if you had
not stood by and made me do it ? Why, I cried at
doing it as much as the poor woman did, though I
did not let you see me."
" You fool you," says Will ; " you will never be
fit for our business, indeed, if you mind such things
as those. I shall bring you off those things quickly.
Why, if you will be fit for business, you must learn
to fight when they resist, and cut their throats when
they submit ; you must learn to stop their breath
that they may beg and pray no more. What signi
fies pity ? Prithee, who will pity us when we come
to the Old Bailey ? I warrant you that whining old
woman, that begged so heartily for her 22s., would
let you and I beg upon our knees, and would not
save our lives by not coming in for an evidence
against us. Did you ever see any of them cry when
they see gentlemen go to the gallows ? "
" Well, Will," says I, " you had better let us keep
to the business we were in before. There were no
such cruel doings in that, and yet we got more money
by it than I believe we shall get at this."
" No, no," says Will, " you are a fool ; you don't
know what fine things we shall do in a little while."
Upon this discourse we parted for that time ; but
I resolved with myself that I would never be con
cerned with him that way any more. The truth is,
[103]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
they were such a dreadful gang, such horrid barbar
ous villains, that even that little while that I was
among them my very blood run cold in my veins at
what I heard, particularly the continued raving and
damning one another and themselves at every word
they spoke ; and then the horrid resolutions of mur
der, and cutting throats, which I perceived was in
their minds upon any occasion that should present.
This appeared first in their discourse upon the dis
appointment they met with at Chelsea, where the
two rogues that were with us, ay, and Will too,
damned and raged that they could not get into the
house, and swore they would have cut the gentle
man's throat if they had got in, and shook hands,
damning and cursing themselves if they did not
murder the whole family as soon as Tom (that was
the man-servant) could get an opportunity to let
them in.
Two days after this Will came to my lodging;
for I had now got a room by myself, had bought me
tolerable good clothes and some shirts, and began to
look like other folks. But, as it happened, I was
abroad upon the scout in another way ; for though
I was not hardened enough for so black a villain as
Will would have had me be, yet I had not arrived
to any principle sufficient to keep me from a life, in
its degree wicked enough, which tended to the same
destruction, though not in so violent and precipitant
[104]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
degrees. I had his message delivered to me, which
was to meet him the next evening at such a place,
and as I came in time enough to meet, so I went to
the place, but resolved beforehand that I would not
go any more with him among the gang.
However, to my great satisfaction, I missed him ;
for he did not come at all to the place, but met with
the gang at another place, they having sent for him
in haste upon the notice of some booty ; and so they
went all away together. This was a summons, it
seems, from one of the creatures which they had
abroad in a family, where an opportunity offered
them to commit a notorious robbery, down almost
as far as Hounslow, and where they wounded a gen
tleman's gardener so that I think he died, and robbed
the house of a very considerable sum of money and
plate.
This, however, was not so clean carried, nor did
they get in so easy, but by the resistance they met
with the neighbours were all alarmed, and the gen
tlemen rogues were pursued, and being at London
with the booty, one of them was taken. Will, a
dexterous fellow and head of the gang, made his
escape, and though in his clothes, with a great weight
about him of both money and plate, plunged into
the Thames and swam over where there was no path
or road leading to the river; so that nobody sus
pected any one's going that way. Being got over,
[105]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
he made his way, wet as he was, into some woods
adjacent, and, as he told me afterwards, not far
from Chertsey, and stayed lurking about in the
woods or fields thereabouts till his clothes were
dry ; then, in the night, got down to Kingston, and
so to Mortlake, where he got a boat to London.
He knew nothing that one of his comrades was
taken ; only he knew that they were all so closely
pursued that they were obliged to disperse, and
every one to shift for himself. He happened to
come home in the evening, as good luck then
directed him, just after search had been made for
him by the constables ; his companion, who was
taken, having, upon promise of favour, and of saving
him from the gallows, discovered his companions,
and Will among the rest, as the principal party in
the whole undertaking.
Will got notice of this just time enough to run
for it and not to be taken ; and away he came to
look for me ; but, as my good fate still directed, I
was not at home neither. However, he left all his
booty at my lodging, and hid it in an old coat that
lay under my bedding, and left word that my
brother Will had been there, and had left his coat
that he borrowed of me, and that it was under my bed.
I knew not what to make of it, but went up to
go to bed ; and, finding the parcel, was perfectly
frighted to see, wrapped up in it, above one hun-
[106]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
dred pound in plate and money, and yet knew noth
ing of brother Will, as he called himself, nor did I
hear of him for three or four days.
At the end of four days I heard, by great accident,
that Will, who used to be seen with me, and who
called me brother, was taken, and would be hanged.
Next day a poor man, a shoemaker, that used for
merly to have a kindness for me, and to send me of
errands, and gave me sometimes some victuals, seeing
me accidentally in Rosemary Lane, going by him,
clasped me fast hold by the arm. " Hark ye, young
man," says he, " have I catched you ? " and hauled
me along as if I had been a thief apprehended, and
he the constable. " Hark ye, Colonel Jacque," says
he again, " come along with me. I must speak with
ypu. What, are you got into this gang too ? What,
are you turned housebreaker ? Come, I '11 have you
hanged, to be sure."
These were dreadful words to me, who, though
not guilty of the particular thing in question, yet
was frighted heartily before, and did not know what
I might be charged with by Will, if he was taken, as
I heard that very morning he was. With these
words, the shoemaker began to hale and drag me
along as he used to do when I was a boy.
However, recovering my spirits, and provoked to
the highest degree, I said to him again, " What do
you mean, Mr. ? Let me alone, or you will
[107]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
oblige me to make you do it ; " and with that I
stopped short, and soon let him see I was grown a
little too big to be haled about as I used to be when
I run of his errands, and made a motion with my
other hand as if I would strike him in the face.
" How, Jacque ! " says he ; " will you strike me ?
Will you strike your old friend ? " and then he let go
my arm, and laughed. " Well, but hark ye, colonel,"
says he, " I am in earnest. I hear bad news of you.
They say you are gotten into bad company, and that
this Will calls you brother. He is a great villain,
and I hear he is charged with a bloody robbery, and
will be hanged if he is taken. I hope you are not
concerned with him. If you are, I would advise you
to shift for yourself, for the constable and the head-
borough are after him to-day, and if he can lay any
thing to you he will do it, you may be sure. He will
certainly hang you to save himself."
This was kind, and I thanked him, but told him
this was a thing too serious, and that had too much
weight in it, to be jested with, as he had done before ;
and that some ignorant stranger might have seized
upon me as a person guilty, who had no further con
cern in it than just knowing the man, and so I might
have been brought into trouble for nothing. At
least people might have thought I was among them,
whether I was or no, and it would have rendered me
suspected, though I was innocent.
[108]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
He acknowledged that ; told me he was but in
jest, and that he talked to me just as he used
to do.
" However, colonel," says he, " I won't jest any
more with you in a thing of such a dangerous conse
quence ; I only advise you to keep the fellow com
pany no more."
I thanked him, and went away, but in the greatest
perplexity imaginable. And now, not knowing what
to do with myself, or with the little ill-gotten wealth
which I had, I went musing and alone into the fields
towards Stepney, my usual walk, and there began to
consider what to do. And as this creature had left
his prize in my garret, I began to think that if he
should be taken, and should confess and send the
officers to search there for the goods, and they should
find them, I should be undone, and should be taken
up for a confederate ; whereas I knew nothing of the
matter, and had no hand in it.
While I was thus musing, and in great perplexity,
I heard somebody halloo to me ; and, looking about,
I saw Will running after me. I knew not what to
think at first, but seeing him alone, was the more
encouraged, and I stood still for him. When he
came up to me I said to him, " What is the matter,
Will ? " " Matter ! " says Will. " Matter enough ;
I am undone. When was you at home ? "
" I saw what you left there," says I. " What is
[109]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
the meaning of it, and where got you all that ? Is
that your being undone ? "
" Ay," says Will, " I am undone for all that ; for
the officers are after me ; and I am a dead dog if I
am taken, for George is in custody, and he has
peached on me and all the others to save his life.' 1
" Life ! " says I ; " why should you lose your life
if they should take you ? Pray what would they do
to you ? "
" Do to me ! " says he ; " they would hang rne, if
the king had ne 'er another soldier in his guards. I
shall certainly be hanged as I am now alive."
This frighted me terribly, and I said, " And what
will you do then ? " " Nay," says he, " I know not.
I would get out of the nation, if I knew how ; but I
am a stranger to all those things, and I know not
what to do, not I. Advise me, Jacque," says he ;
" prithee tell me whither shall I go. I have a good
mind to go to sea."
" You talk of going away," says I ; " what will
you do with all you have hid in my garret ? It must
not lie there," said I ; " for if I should be taken up
for it, and it be found to be the money you stole, I
shall be ruined."
" I care not what becomes of it, not I," says Will.
" I '11 be gone. Do you take it, if you will, and do
what you will with it. I must fly, and I cannot take
it with me." " I won't have it, not I," says I to
[110]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
him. "I'll go and fetch it to you if you will take
it," says I ; " but I won't meddle with it. Besides,
there is plate. What shall I do with plate ? " said I.
" If I should offer to sell it anywhere, 1 ' said I, " they
will stop me."
"As for that," says Will, "I could sell it well
enough, if I had it ; but I must not be seen any
where among my old acquaintance ; for I am blown,
and they will all betray me. But I will tell you
where you shall go and sell it, if you will, and they
will ask you no questions, if you give them the word
that I will give you." So he gave me the word, and
directions to a pawnbroker near Cloth Fair. The
word was Good tower standard. Having these in
structions, he said to me, " Colonel Jacque, I am sure
you won't betray me ; and I promise you, if I am
taken, and should be hanged, I won't name you. I
will go to such a house " (naming a house at Brom
ley, by Bow, where he and I had often been), " and
there," says he, " I 'II stay till it is dark. At night
I will come near the streets, and I will lay under
such a haystack all night " (a place we both knew
also very well) ; " and if you cannot finish to come
to me there, I will go back to Bow."
I went back and took the cargo, went to the place
by Cloth Fair, and gave the word Good tower stand
ard ; and without any words, they took the plate,
weighed it, and paid me after the rate of 2s. per
[111]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
ounce for it. So I came away and went to meet
him, but it was too late to meet him at the first
place ; but I went to the haystack, and there I found
him fast asleep.
I delivered him his cargo. What it really
amounted to I knew not, for I never told it ; but
I went home to my quarters very late and tired. I
went to sleep at first, but, notwithstanding I was so
weary, I slept little or none for several hours. At
last, being overcome with sleep, I dropped, but was
immediately roused with noise of people knocking at
the door, as if they would beat it down, and crying
and calling out to the people of the house, " Rise,
and let in the constable here. We come for your
lodger in the garret.""
I was frighted to the last degree, and started up
in my bed ; but when I was awaked I heard no noise
at all, but of two watchmen thumping at the doors
with their staves, and giving the hour, " Past three
o'clock, and a rainy, wet morning " for such it
was. I was very glad when I found it was but a
dream, and went to bed again, but was soon roused
a second time with the same, very same noise and
words. Then, being sooner awaked than I was
before, I jumped out of bed and ran to the window,
and found it was just an hour more, and the watch
men were come about : " Past four o'clock," and
they went away again very quietly ; so I lay me
[112]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
down again, and slept the rest of the night quietly
enough.
I laid no stress upon the thing called a dream,
neither till now did I understand that dreams were
of any importance ; but getting up the next day, and
going out with a resolution to meet brother Will,
who should I meet but my former brother, Captain
Jacque. When he saw me, he came close to me in
his blunt way, and says, " Do you hear the news ? "
" No, not I," said I ; " what news ? " " Your old
comrade and teacher is taken this morning and car
ried to Newgate." " How," says I, " this morning ? '
" Yes, 1 ' says he, " this morning at four o'clock. He
is charged with a robbery and murder somewhere
beyond Brentford ; and that which is worse is, that
he is impeached by one of the gang, who, to save
his own life, has turned evidence ; and therefore you
had best consider," says the captain, " what you have
to do." " What I have to do ! " says I ; " and what
do you mean by that ? " " Nay, colonel," says he,
" don't be angry ; you know best. If you are not
in danger, I am glad of it, but I doubt not but you
were with them." " No, not I," said I again ; " I
assure you I was not." " Well," says he, ** but if
you were not with them this bout, you have been
with them at other times ; and 't will be all one."
" Not I," says I ; "you are quite mistaken. I am none
of their gang ; they are above my quality." With
YOL.I.-8
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
such, and a little more talk of that kind, we parted,
and Captain Jacque went away; but as he went I
observed he shook his head, seemed to have more
concern upon him than he could be supposed to
have merely on my account, of which we shall hear
more very quickly.
I was extremely alarmed when I heard Will was in
Newgate, and, had I known where to have gone,
would certainly have fled as far as legs would have
earned me. My very joints trembled, and I was
ready to sink into the ground ; and all that evening,
and that night following, I was in the uttermost
consternation. My head ran upon nothing but
Newgate and the gallows, and being hanged; which, I
said, I deserved, if it were for nothing but taking that
two-and- twenty shillings from the poor old nurse.
The first thing my perplexed thoughts allowed me
to take care of was my money. This indeed lay in
a little compass, and I carried it generally all about
me. I had got together, as you will perceive by the
past account, above 60 (for I spent nothing), and
what to do with it I knew not. At last it came
into my head that I would go to my benefactor, the
clerk at the custom-house, if he was to be found,
and see if I could get him to take the rest of my
money. The only business was to make a plausible
story to him, that he might not wonder how I came
by so much money.
[114]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
But my invention quickly supplied that want.
There was a suit of clothes at one of our houses of
rendezvous, which was left there for any of the gang
to put on, upon particular occasions, as a disguise.
This was a green livery, laced with pink-coloured
galloon, and lined with the same ; an edged hat, a
pair of boots, and a whip. I went and dressed my
self up in this livery, and went to my gentleman, to
his house in Tower Street, and there I found him in
health and well, just the same honest gentleman as
ever.
He stared at me when first I came to him, for I
met him just at his door ; I say, he stared at me,
and seeing me bow and bow to him several times,
with my laced hat under my arm, at last, not know
ing me in the least, says he to me, " Dost thou want
to speak with me, young man ? " And I said,
" Yes, sir ; I believe your worship " (I had learnt some
manners now) " does not know me. I am the poor
boy Jacque." He looked hard at me, and then
recollecting me presently, says he, " Who Colonel
Jacque ! Why, where hast thou been all this while ?
Why, ""t is five or six years since I saw you." " T is
above six years, and please your worship," says I.
" Well, and where hast thou been all this while ? "
says he.
"I have been in the country, sir," says I, "at
service."
[115]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
" Well, Colonel Jacque," says he, " you give long
credit ; what 's the reason you han't fetched your
money all this while, nor the interest ? Why, you
will grow so rich in time by the interest of your
money, you won't know what to do with it."
To that I said nothing, but bowed and scraped a
great many times. " Well, come, Colonel Jacque,"
said he, " come in and I will give you your money,
and the interest of it too."
I cringed and bowed, and told him I did not come
to him for my money ; for I had had a good place or
two, and I did not want my money.
"Well, Colonel Jacque," said he, "and who do
you live with?"
" Sir Jonathan Loxham," said I, "sir, in Somerset
shire, and please your worship." This was a name I
had heard of, but knew nothing of any such gentle
man, or of the country.
" Well," says he, " but won't you have your money,
Jacque?"
M No, sir," said I, " if your worship would please,
for I have had a good place."
" If I would please to do what, prithee ? Your
money is ready, I tell thee."
" No, sir," said I ; " but I have had a good place."
" Well, and what dost thou mean, Jacque ? I do
not understand thee."
" Why, and please your worship, my old master,
[116]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Sir Jonathan's father, left me .30 when he died, and
a suit of mourning, and "
" And what, prithee, Jacque ? What, hast thou
brought me more money ? " For then he began to
understand what I meant.
" Yes, sir," said I ; " and your worship would be
so good to take it, and put it all together. I have
saved some, too, out of my wages."
"I told you, Jacque," says he, "you would be
rich. And how much hast thou saved ? Come, let
me see it."
To shorten the story, I pulled it out, and he was
content to take it, giving me his note, with interest,
for the whole sum, which amounted to <*94 ; that is
to say,
25 The first money.
9 For six years' interest.
60 Now paid him.
94
I came away exceeding joyful, made him abun
dance of bows and scrapes, and went immediately to
shift my clothes again, with a resolution to run away
from London and see it no more for a great while.
But I was surprised the very next morning, when,
going cross Rosemary Lane, by the end of the place
which is called Rag Fair, I heard one call " Jacque."
He had said something before, which I did not hear,
but upon hearing the name Jacque I looked about
[117]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
me, immediately saw three men, and after them a
constable coming towards me with great fury. I was
in a great surprise, and started to run, but one of
them clapped in upon me, and got hold of me, and
in a moment the rest surrounded me, and I was
taken. I asked them what they wanted, and what
I had done. They told me it was no place to talk
of that there, but showed me their warrant, and bade
me read it, and I should know the rest when I came
before the justice ; so they hurried me away.
I took the warrant, but, to my great affliction, I
could know nothing by that, for I could not read ; so
I desired them to read it, and they read it, that they
were to apprehend a known thief, that went by the
name of one of the three Jacques of Rag Fair ; for
that he was charged upon oath with having been a
party in a notorious robbery, burglary, and murder,
committed so and so, in such a place, and on such a
day.
It was to no purpose for me to deny it, or to say I
knew nothing of it ; that was none of their business,
they said ; that must be disputed, they told me,
before the justice, where I would find that it was
sworn positively against me, and then, perhaps, I
might be better satisfied.
I had no remedy but patience ; and as my heart
was full of terror and guilt, so I was ready to die
with the weight of it as they carried me along. For
[118]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
as I very well knew that I was guilty of the first
day's work, though I was not of the last, so I did
not doubt but I should be sent to Newgate, and
then I took it for granted I must be hanged ; for to
go to Newgate and to be hanged were to me as
things which necessarily followed one another.
But I had a sharp conflict to go through before it
came to that part ; and that was before the justice ;
where, when I was come, and the constable brought
me in, the justice asked me my name. " But hold,"
says he, " young man ; before I ask you your name,
let me do you justice. You are not bound to an
swer till your accusers come ; "" so, turning to the
constable, he asked for his warrant.
"Well," says the justice, "you have brought this
young man here by virtue of this warrant. Is this
young man the person for whom this warrant is
granted ? "
Con. I believe so, and please your worship.
Just. Believe so ! Why, are you not sure of it ?
Con. An "t please your worship, the people said
so where I took him.
Just. It is a very particular kind of warrant ; it
is to apprehend a young man who goes by the name
of Jacque, but no surname, only that it is said he is
called Captain Jacque, or some other such name.
Now, young man, pray is your name Captain
Jacque ? or are you usually called so ?
[119]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
I presently found that the men that took me knew
nothing of me, and the constable had taken me up
by hearsay ; so I took heart, and told the justice
that I thought, with submission, that it was not the
present question what my name was, but what these
men, or any one else, had to lay to my charge;
whether I was the person who the warrant empow
ered them to apprehend or no.
He smiled. " *T is very true, young man," says
he, " it is very true ; and, on my word, if they have
taken you up, and do not know you, and there is
nobody to charge you, they will be mistaken to their
own damage."
Then I told his worship I hoped I should not be
obliged to tell my name till my accuser was brought
to charge me, and then I should not conceal my
name.
" It is but reason," said his good worship. " Mr.
Constable," turning to the officers, "are you sure
this is the person that is intended in your warrant ?
If you are not, you must fetch the person that
accuses him, and on whose oath the warrant was
granted." They used many words to insinuate that
I was the person, and that I knew it well enough,
and that I should be obliged to tell my name.
I insisted on the unreasonableness of it, and that I
should not be obliged to accuse myself: and the jus
tice told them in so many words that he could not
[120]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
force me to it, that I might do it if I would, indeed ;
" but you see," says the justice, " he understood too
well to be imposed upon in that case." So that, in
short, after an hour's debating before his worship, in
which time I pleaded against four of them, the jus
tice told them they must produce the accuser, or he
must discharge me.
I was greatly encouraged at this, and argued with
the more vigour for myself. At length the accuser
was brought, fettered as he was, from the gaol, and
glad I was when I saw him, and found that I knew
him not ; that is to say, that it was not one of the
two rogues that I went out with that night that we
robbed the poor old woman.
When the prisoner was brought into the room he
was set right against me.
" Do you know this young man ? " says the jus
tice.
" No, sir," says the prisoner ; " I never saw him
in my life."
" Hum ! " says the justice ; " did not you charge
one that goes by the name of Jacque, or Captain
Jacque, as concerned in the robbery and murder
which you are in custody for ? "
Pris. Yes, an 't please your worship.
Just. And is this the man, or is he not ?
Pris. This is not the man, sir ; I never saw this
man before.
[121]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
"Very good, Mr. Constable, 11 says the justice,
" what must we do now ? "
" I am surprised," says the constable. " I was at
such a house " (naming the house), " and this young
man went by. The people cried out, * There 's
Jacque ; that 's your man ; ' and these people ran
after him, and apprehended him."
" Well," says the justice, " and have these people
anything to say to him ? Can they prove that he is
the person ? "
One said no, and the other said no ; and, in short,
they all said no. " Why, then," said the justice,
" what can be done ? The young man must be dis
charged; and I must tell you, Mr. Constable, and
you gentlemen that have brought him hither, he may
give you trouble, if he thinks fit, for your being so
rash. But look you, young man," says the justice,
" you have no great damage done you, and the con
stable, though he has been mistaken, had no ill de
sign, but to be faithful to his office. I think you
may pass it by."
I told his worship I would readily pass it by at
his direction, but I thought the constable and the
rest could do no less than to go back to the place
where they had insulted me, and declare publicly
there that I was honourably acquitted, and that I
was not the man. This his worship said was very
reasonable, and the constable and his assistants prom-
[122]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
ised to do it, and so we came all away good friends,
and I was cleared with triumph.
Note. This was the time that, as I mentioned
above, the justice talked to me, and told me I was
born to better things, and that by my well managing
of my own defence, he did not question but I had
been well educated ; and that he was sorry I should
fall into such a misfortune as this, which he hoped,
however, would be no dishonour to me, since I was
so handsomely acquitted.
Though his worship was mistaken in the matter
of my education, yet it had this good effect upon
me, that I resolved, if possible, I would learn to read
and write, that I would not be such an uncapable
creature, that I should not be able to read a warrant,
and see whether I was the person to be apprehended
or not.
But there was something more in all this than
what I have taken notice of ; for, in a word, it ap
peared plainly that my brother, Captain Jacque,
who had the forwardness to put it to me whether I
was among them or no, when in truth he was there
himself, had the only reason to be afraid to fly, at the
same time that he advised me to shift for myself.
As this presently occurred to my thoughts, so I
made it my business to inquire and find him out, and
to give him notice of it.
In the meantime, being now confident of my own
[123]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
safety, I had no more concern upon my mind about
myself; but now I began to be anxious for poor
Will, my master and tutor in wickedness, who was
now fast by the heels in Newgate, while I was hap
pily at liberty ; and I wanted very much to go and
see him, and accordingly did so.
I found him in a sad condition, loaden with heavy
irons, and had himself no prospect or hope of escap
ing. He told me he should die, but bid me be
easy ; for, as it would do him no good to accuse
me, who never was out with any of them but that
once, so I might depend upon it he would not bring
me into the trouble. As for the rogue who had
betrayed them all, he was not able to hurt me, for I
might be satisfied he had never seen me in his life.
"But, Colonel Jacque," says he, "I will tell you who
was with us, and that is, your brother the captain,
and the villain has certainly named him ; and,
therefore," says he, "if you can give him timely
notice of it, do, that he may make his escape. 11
He said a great many things to warn me off fol
lowing the steps he had led me. " I was far out,
Jacque, 11 said he, " when I told you, to be a notori
ous thief was to live like a gentleman. 11 He chiefly
discovered his concern that they had, as he feared,
killed the gentleman's gardener, and that he in par
ticular had given him a wound in the neck, of which
he was afraid he would die.
[124]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
He had a great sum of money in gold about him,
being the same that I had carried back to him at
the haystack ; and he had concealed it so well that
those who took him had not found it, and he gave
me the greatest part of it to carry to his mother,
which I very honestly delivered, and came away with
a heavy heart. Nor did I ever see him since, for
he was executed in about three weeks' time after,
being condemned that very next sessions.
I had nothing to do now but to find the captain,
who, though not without some trouble, I at last got
news of, and told him the whole story, and how I
had been taken up for him by mistake, and was
come off, but that the warrant was still out for him,
and very strict search after him ; I say, telling him
all this, he presently discovered by his surprise that
he was guilty, and after a few words more, told me
plainly it was all true, that he was in the robbery,
and that he had the greatest part of the booty in
keeping, but what to do with it, or himself, he did
not know ; and wanted me to tell him, which I was
very unfit to do, for I knew nothing of the world.
Then he told me he had a mind to fly into Scotland,
which was easy to be done, and asked me if I would
go with him. I told him I would, with all my
heart, if I had money enough to bear the charge.
He had the trade still in his eyes by his answer. ** I
warrant you," says he, "we will make the journey pay
[125]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
our charge.' 1 " I dare not think of going any more
upon the adventure," says I. " Besides, if we meet
with any misfortune out of our knowledge, we shall
never get out of it ; we shall be undone." " Nay,"
says he ; " we shall find no mercy here, if they can
catch us, and they can do no worse abroad. I am
for venturing at all events."
" Well, but, captain," says I, ** have you husbanded
your time so ill that you have no money to supply
you in such a time as this ? " "I have very little
indeed," said he, " for I have had bad luck lately."
But he lied, for he had a great share of the booty
they had got at their last adventure, as above ;
and, as the rest complained, he and Will had got
almost all of it, and kept the rest out of their shares,
which made them the willinger to discover them.
However it was, he owned he had about %& in
money, and something that would yield money I
suppose it was plate ; but he would not tell me what
it was, or where it was. But he said he durst not
go to fetch it, for he should be betrayed and seized,
so he would venture without it. "Sure," says he,
" we shall come back again some time or other."
I honestly produced all the money I had, which
was \Q and some odd shillings. " Now," says I,
" if we are good husbands, and travel frugally, this
will carry us quite out of danger." For we had both
been assured that when we came out of England we
[126]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
should be both safe, and nobody could hurt us,
though they had known us ; but we neither of us
thought it was so many weary steps to Scotland as
we found it.
I speak of myself as in the same circumstances of
danger with brother Jacque ; but it was only thus :
I was in as much fear as he, but not in quite as
much danger.
I cannot omit that, in the interval of these things,
and a few days before I canned my money to the
gentleman in Tower Street, I took a walk all alone
into the fields, in order to go to Kentish Town and
do justice to the poor old nurse. It happened that,
before I was aware, I crossed a field that came to
the very spot where I robbed the poor old woman
and the maid, or where, I should say, Will made me
rob them. My heart had reproached me many a
time with that cruel action, and many a time I
promised to myself that I would find a way to make
her satisfaction and restore her money, and that day
I had set apart for the work, but was a little sur
prised that I was so suddenly upon the unhappy
spot.
The place brought to my mind the villainy I had
committed there, and something struck me with a
kind of wish I cannot say prayer, for I knew not
what that meant that I might leave off that cursed
trade, and said to myself, " Oh that I had some trade
[127]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
to live by ! I would never rob no more, for sure
't is a wicked, abominable thing. 11
Here indeed I felt the loss of what just parents
do, and ought to do, by all their children I mean,
being bred to some trade or employment; and I
wept many times that I knew not what to do or
what to turn my hand to, though. I resolved to leave
off the wicked course I was in.
But to return to my journey. I asked my way
to Kentish Town, and it happened to be of a poor
woman that said she lived there ; upon which intelli
gence I asked if she knew a woman that lived there
whose name was Smith. She answered yes, very
well ; that she was not a settled inhabitant, only a
lodger in the town, but that she was an honest,
poor, industrious woman, and by her labour and
pains maintained a poor diseased husband, that had
been unable to help himself some years.
" What a villain have I been, 11 said I to myself,
"that I should rob such a poor woman as this, and
add grief and tears to her misery, and to the sorrows
of her house ! " This quickened my resolution to
restore her money ; and not only so, but I resolved
I would give her something over and above her loss.
So I went forward, and by the direction I had re
ceived, found her lodging with very little trouble.
Then asking for the woman, she came to the door
immediately ; for she heard me? $sk for her by her
[128]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
name of a little girl that came first to the door. I
presently spoke to ner : " Dame, 11 said I, " was not
you robbed about a year ago, as you was coming
home from London, about Pindar of Wakefield ? "
" Yes, indeed I was," says she ; " and sadly frighted
into the bargain." "And how much did you lose ? "
said I. " Indeed," says she, " I lost all the money I
had in the world. I am sure I worked hard for it ;
it was money for keeping a nurse-child that I had
then, and I had been at London to receive it."
"But how much was it, dame?" said I. "Why,"
says she, " it was 22s. 6|d. ; 21s. I had been to fetch,
and the odd money was my own before."
" Well, look you, good woman, what will you say
if I should put you in a way to get your money
again ? for I believe the fellow that took it is fast
enough now, and perhaps I may do you a kindness
in it, and for that I came to see you." " Oh dear ! "
says the old woman, " I understand you, but indeed
I cannot swear to the man's face again, for it was
dark ; and, besides, I would not hang the poor
wretch for my money ; let him live and repent."
" That is very kind," says I " more than he de
serves from you ; but you need not be concerned
about that, for he will be hanged whether you ap
pear against him or not; but are you willing to
have your money again that you lost ? " " Yes,
indeed," says the woman, " I should be glad of that ;
voi. i. 9 [129]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
for I have not been so hard put to it for money a
great while as I am now ; I have much ado to find
us bread to eat, though I work hard early and late ; "
and with that she cried.
I thought it would have broken my very heart, to
think how this poor creature worked and was a slave
at near threescore, and that I, a young fellow of
hardly twenty, should rob her of her bread to sup
port my idleness and wicked life ; and the tears
came from my eyes in spite of all my struggling to
prevent it, and the woman perceived it too. " Poor
woman," said I, "'tis a sad thing such creatures as
these should plunder and strip such a poor object as
thou art. Well, he is at leisure now to repent it, I
assure you." "I perceive, sir," says she, "you are
very compassionate indeed. I wish he may improve
the time God has spared him, and that he may
repent, and I pray God give him repentance. Who
ever he is, I forgive him, whether he can make me
recompense or not, and I pray God forgive him. I
won't do him any prejudice, not I." And with that
she went on praying for me.
"Well, dame, come hither to me," says I; and
with that I put my hand into my pocket, and she
came to me. " Hold up your hand," said I ; which
she did, and I told her nine half-crowns into her
hand. " There, dame," said I, " is your 22s. 6d. you
lost. I assure you, dame," said I, " I have been the
[130]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
chief instrument to get it off him for you ; for, ever
since he told me the story of it among the rest of
his wicked exploits, I never gave him any rest till I
made him promise me to make you restitution."
All the while I held her hand arid put the money
into it I looked in her face, and I perceived her colour
come and go, and that she was under the greatest
surprise of joy imaginable.
" Well, God bless him,"" says she, " and spare him
from the disaster he is afraid of, if it be His will.
For sure this is an act of so much justice, and so
honest, that I never expected the like." She run on
a great while so, and wept for him when I told her
I doubted there was no room to expect his life.
" Well," says she, " then pray God give him repent
ance and bring him to heaven ; for sure he must
have something that is good at the bottom ; he has
a principle of honesty at bottom to be sure, however
he may have been brought into bad courses by bad
company or evil example, or other temptations ; but
I daresay he will be brought to repentance one time
or other before he dies."
All this touched me nearer than she imagined ;
for I was the man that she prayed for all this while,
though she did not know it, and in my heart I said
amen to it. For I was sensible that I had done one
of the vilest actions in the world in attacking a poor
creature in such a condition, and not listening to her
[131]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
entreaties when she begged so heartily for that little
money we took from her.
In a word, the good woman so moved me with her
charitable prayers that I put my hand in my pocket
again for her : " Dame," said I, " you are so chari
table in your petitions for this miserable creature
that it puts me in mind of one thing more which I
will do for him, whether he ordered me or not ; and
that is, to ask your forgiveness for the thief in rob
bing you. For it was an offence and a trespass
against you, as well as an injury to you ; and there
fore I ask your pardon for him. Will you sincerely
and heartily forgive him, dame ? I do desire it of
you ; " and with that I stood up, and, with my hat
off, asked her pardon. " O sir ! " says she, " do not
stand up, and with your hat off to me. I am a poor
woman ; I forgive him, and all that were with him ;
for there was one or more with him. I forgive them
with all my heart, and I pray God to forgive them.' 1
" Well, dame, then,"" said I, " to make you some
recompense for your charity, there is something for
you more than your loss ; " and with that I gave her
a crown more.
Then I asked her who that was who was robbed
with her. She said it was a servant-maid that lived
then in the town, but she was gone from her place,
and she did not know where she lived now. " Well,
dame," says I, " if ever you do hear of her, let her leave
[132]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
word where she may be found ; and if I live to come
and see you again, I will get the money off him for
her too. I think that was but little, was it?"
" No, 11 says she ; " it was but 5s. 6d.," which I knew
as well as she. ** Well,"" says I, " dame, inquire her
out if you have an opportunity ; " so she promised
me she would, and away I came.
The satisfaction this gave me was very much ; but
then a natural consequence attended it, which filled
me with reflection afterwards ; and this was, that, by
the same rule, I ought to make restitution to all
that I had wronged in the like manner ; and what
could I do as to that ? To this I knew not what to
say, and so the thought in time wore off; for, in
short, it was impossible to be done. I had not
ability, neither did I know any of the people whom
I had so injured; and that satisfying me for the
present, I let it drop.
I come now to my journey with Captain Jacque,
my supposed brother. We set out from London on
foot, and travelled the first day to Ware ; for we had
learnt so much of our road that the way lay through
that town. We were weary enough the first day,
having not been used at all to travelling ; but we
made shift to walk once up and down the town after
we came into it.
I soon found that his walking out to see the town
was not to satisfy his curiosity in viewing the place,
[133]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
for he had no notion of anything of that kind, but
to see if he could light of any purchase. For he
was so natural a thief that he could see nothing on
the road but it occurred to him how easily that
might be taken, and how cleverly this might be
carried off, and the like.
Nothing offered in Ware to his mind, it not being
market-day ; and as for me, though I made no great
scruple of eating and drinking at the cost of his
roguery, yet I resolved not to enter upon anything,
as they called it, nor to take the least thing from
anybody.
When the captain found me resolved upon the
negative, he asked me how I thought to travel. I
asked him what he thought of himself, that was sure
to be hanged if he was taken, how small soever the
crime was that he should be taken for. " How can
that be ? " says he ; " they don't know me in the
country." " Ay," says I ; " but do you think they
do not send up word to Newgate as soon as any
thief is taken in the country, and so inquire who is
escaped from them, or who is fled, that they may be
stopped? Assure yourself," says I, "the gaolers
correspond with one another, with the greatest
exactness imaginable ; and if you were taken here
but for stealing a basket of eggs, you shall have
your accuser sent down to see if he knows you."
This terrified him a little for a while, and kept
[134]
him honest for three or four days ; but it was but
for a few days indeed, for he played a great many
rogue's tricks without me ; till at last he came to his
end without me too, though it was not till many
years after, as you shall hear in its order. But as
these exploits are no part of my story, but of his,
whose life and exploits are sufficient to make a vol
ume larger than this by itself, so I shall omit every
thing but what I was particularly concerned in
during this tedious journey.
From Ware we travelled to Cambridge, though
that was not our direct road. The occasion was
this: in our way, going through a village called
Puckeridge, we baited at an inn, at the sign of the
Falcon, and while we were there a countryman comes
to the inn, and hangs his horse at the door while he
goes in to drink. We sat in the gateway, having
called for a mug of beer, and drank it up. We had
been talking with the hostler about the way to Scot
land, and he had bid us ask the road to Royston.
" But," says he, " there is a turning just here a little
farther. You must not go that way, for that goes
to Cambridge."
We had paid for our beer, and sat at the door
only to rest us, when on the sudden comes a gentle
man's coach to the door, and three or four hoi-semen.
The horsemen rode into the yard, and the hostler
was obliged to go in with them. Says he to the
[135]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
captain, " Young man, pray take hold of the horse "
(meaning the countryman's horse I mentioned above),
" and take him out of the way, that the coach may
come up." He did so, and beckoned me to follow
him. We walked together to the turning. Says he
to me, " Do you step before and turn up the lane.
Ill overtake you." So I went on up the lane,
and in a few minutes he was got up upon the horse
and at my heels. " Come, get up," says he ; " we
will have a lift, if we don't get the horse by the
bargain."
I made no difficulty to get up behind him, and
away we went at a good round rate, it being a good
strong horse. We lost no time for an hour's riding
and more, by which time we thought we were out of
the reach of being pursued. And as the country
man, when he should miss his horse, would hear that
we inquired the way to Royston, he would certainly
pursue us that way, and not towards Cambridge.
We went easier after the first hour's riding, and
coming through a town or two, we alighted by turns,
and did not ride double through the villages.
Now, as it was impossible for the captain to pass
by anything that he could lay his hand on and not
take it, so now, having a horse to carry it off too, the
temptation was the stronger. Going through a vil
lage where a good housewife of the house had been
washing, and hung her clothes out upon a hedge
[186]
-,*/ - 1 \
M"
1^5 *.*,
~* JbT^" f ~ k.
IE t'
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
near the road, he could not help it, but got hold of
a couple of good shirts that were but about half dry,
and overtook me upon the spur ; for I walked on
before. I immediately got up behind, and away we
galloped together as fast as the horse would well go.
In this part of our expedition his good luck or mine
earned us quite out of the road, and having seen no
body to ask the way of, we lost ourselves, and wan
dered I know not how many miles to the right hand,
till, partly by that means and partly by the occasion
following, we came quite into the coach-road to
Cambridge from London by Bishop-Stortford. The
particular occasion that made me wander on was
thus : the country was all open cornfields, no enclos
ures ; when, being upon a little rising ground, I bade
him stop the horse, for I would get down and walk
a little to ease my legs, being tired with riding so
long behind without stirrups. When I was down
and looked a little about me, I saw plainly the great
white road, which we should have gone, at near two
miles from us.
On a sudden looking a little back to my left, upon
that road, I saw four or five horsemen riding full
speed, some a good way before the others, and hurry
ing on, as people in a full pursuit.
It immediately struck me : " Ha ! brother Jacque,"
says I, " get off the horse this moment, and ask why
afterwards. 1 ' So he jumps off. " What is the mat-
[137]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
ter ? " says he. " The matter ! " says I. " Look yon
der ; it is well we have lost our way. Do you see
how they ride ? They are pursuing us, you may de
pend upon it. Either," says I, "you are pursued
from the last village for the two shirts, or from
Puckeridge for the horse." He had so much presence
of mind that, without my mentioning it to him, he
puts back the horse behind a great white thorn-bush,
which grew just by him ; so they could by no means
see the horse, which, we being just at the top of the
hill, they might otherwise have done, and so have
pursued that way at a venture.
But as it was impossible for them to see the horse,
so was it as impossible for them to see us at that
distance, who sat down on the ground to look at
them the more securely.
The road winding about, we saw them a great way,
and they rode as fast as they could make their horses
go. When we found they were gone quite out of
sight, we mounted and made the best of our way
also ; and indeed, though we were two upon one
horse, yet we abated no speed where the way would
admit of it, not inquiring of anybody the way to
anywhere till, after about two hours'" riding, we
came to a town, which, upon inquiry, they called
Chesterford. And here we stopped, and asked not
our way to any place, but whither that road went,
and were told it was the coach-road to Cambridge ;
[138]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
also that it was the way to Newmarket, to St. Ed
mund's Bury, to Norwich and Yarmouth, to Lynn,
and to Ely, and the like.
We stayed here a good while, believing ourselves
secure ; and afterwards, towards evening, went for
ward to a place called Bournbridge, where the road
to Cambridge turns away out of the road to New
market, and where there are but two houses only,
both of them being inns. Here the captain says to
me, "Hark ye, you see we are pursued towards
Cambridge, and shall be stopped if we go thither.
Now Newmarket is but ten miles off, and there we
may be safe, and perhaps get an opportunity to do
some business."
" Look ye, Jacque," said I, " talk no more of doing
business, for I will not join with you in anything of
that kind. I would fain get you to Scotland before
you get a halter about your neck. I will not have
you hanged in England, if I can help it ; and there
fore I won't go to Newmarket, unless you will
promise me to take no false steps there." " Well,"
says he, " if I must not, then I won't ; but I hope
you will let us get another horse, won't you, that
we may travel faster ? " " No," says I, " I won't
agree to that ; but if you will let me send this horse
back fairly, I will tell you how we shall hire horses
afterwards, for one stage, or two, and then take
them as far as we please : it is only sending a letter
[139]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
to the owner to send for him, and then, if we are
stopped, it can do us but little hurt."
" You are a wary, politic gentleman," says the
captain, " but I say we are better as we are ; for we
are out of all danger of being stopped on the way
after we are gone from this place."
We had not parleyed thus long, but, though in
the dead of the night, came a man to the other inn
door for, as I said above, there are two inns at
that place and called for a pot of beer ; but the
people were all in bed, and would not rise. He
asked them if they had seen two fellows come that
way upon one horse. The man said he had, that
they went by in the afternoon, and asked the way to
Cambridge, but did not stop only to drink one mug.
" Oh ! " says he, " are they gone to Cambridge ?
Then I '11 be with them quickly." I was awake in a
little garret of the next inn, where we lodged, and
hearing the fellow call at the door, got up and went
to the window, having some uneasiness at every noise
I heard ; and by that means heard the whole story.
Now, the case is plain, our hour was not come, our
fate had determined other things for us, and we were
to be reserved for it. The matter was thus. When
we first came to Bournbridge, we called at the first
house, and asked the way to Cambridge, drank a
mug of beer and went on, and they might see to
turn off to go the way they directed. But night
1140]
I
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
coming on, and we being very weary, we thought we
should not find the way ; and we came back in the
dusk of the evening, and went into the other house,
being the first as we came back, as that where we
called before was the first as we went forward.
You may be sure I was alarmed now, as indeed I
had reason to be. The captain was in bed and fast
asleep, but I wakened him, and roused him with a
noise that frighted him enough. " Rise, Jacque,"
said I ; "we are both ruined ; they are come after
us hither. 11 Indeed, I was wrong to terrify him at
that rate ; for he started, and jumped out of bed,
and ran directly to the window, not knowing where
he was, and, not quite awake, was just going to
jump out of the window, but I laid hold of him.
" What are you going to do ? " says I. " I won't
be taken," says he. " Let me alone. Where are
they?"
This was all confusion ; and he was so out of him
self with the fright, and being overcome with sleep,
that I had much to do to prevent his jumping out
of the window. However, I held him fast, and
thoroughly wakened him, and then all was well
again, and he was presently composed.
Then I told him the story, and we sat together
upon the bedside, considering what we should do.
Upon the whole, as the fellow that called was appar
ently gone to Cambridge, we had nothing to fear,
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
but to be quiet till daybreak, and then to mount
and be gone.
Accordingly, as soon as day peeped we were up ;
and having happily informed ourselves of the road
at the other house, and being told that the road to
Cambridge turned off on the left hand, and that the
road to Newmarket lay straight forward I say,
having learnt this, the captain told me he would
walk away on foot towards Newmarket; and so,
when I came to go out, I should appear as a single
traveller. And accordingly he went out immedi
ately, and away he walked ; and he travelled so hard
that when I came to follow, I thought once that he
had dropped me ; for though I rode hard, I got no
sight of him for an hour. At length, having passed
the great bank called the Devil's Ditch, I found him,
and took him up behind me, and we rode double till
we came almost to the end of Newmarket town.
Just at the hither house in the town stood a horse
at a door, just as it was at Puckeridge. " Now,"
says Jack, " if the horse was at the other end of the
town I would have him, as sure as we had the other
at Puckeridge ; " but it would not do ; so he got
down and walked through the town on the right-
hand side of the way.
He had not got half through the town but the
horse, having somehow or other got loose, came trot
ting gently on by himself, and nobody following him.
[142]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
The captain, an old soldier at such work, as soon
as the horse was got a pretty way before him, and
that he saw nobody followed, sets up a run after
the horse, and the horse, hearing him follow, ran
the faster. Then the captain calls out, " Stop the
horse!" and by this time the horse was got almost
to the farther end of the town, the people of the
house where he stood not missing him all the
while.
Upon his calling out, " Stop the horse ! "" the poor
people of the town, such as were next at hand, ran
from both sides the way and stopped the horse for
him, as readily as could be, and held him for him till
he came up. He very gravely comes up to the
horse, hits him a blow or two, and calls him dog
for running away, gives the man twopence that
catched him for him, mounts, and away he comes
after me.
This was the oddest adventure that could have
happened, for the horse stole the captain, the cap
tain did not steal the horse. When he came up to
me, " Now, Colonel Jacque," says he, " what say you
to good luck ? Would you have had me refuse the
horse, when he came so civilly to ask me to ride ? "
" No, no, 11 said I ; " you have got this horse by your
wit, not by design ; and you may go on now, I think.
You are in a safer condition than I am, if we are
taken."
[143]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
The next question was what road we should take.
Here were four ways before us, and we were alike
strangers to them all. First, on the right hand, and
at about a little mile from the town, a great road
went off to St. Edmund's Bury ; straight on, but in
clining afterwards to the right, lay the great road to
Barton Mills and Thetford, and so to Norwich ; and
full before us lay a great road, also, to Brandon and
Lynn ; and on the left lay a less road to the city of
Ely, and into the fens.
In short, as we knew not which road to take, nor
which way to get into the great north road, which
we had left, so we, by mere unguided chance, took
the way to Brandon, and so to Lynn. At Brand, or
Brandon, we were told that, passing over at a place
called Downham Bridge, we might cross the fen
country to Wisbeach, and from thence go along that
bank of the river Nene to Peterborough, and from
thence to Stamford, where we were in the northern
road again ; and likewise, that at Lynn we might go
by the Washes into Lincolnshire, and so might travel
north. But, upon the whole, this was my rule, that,
when we inquired the way to any particular place, to
be sure we never took that road, but some other
which the accidental discourse we might have should
bring in. And thus we did here; for, having chiefly
asked our way into the northern road, we resolved to
go directly for Lynn.
[144]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
We arrived here very easy and safe, and while we
was considering of what way we should travel next
we found we were got to a point, and that there was
no way now left but that by the Washes into Lin
colnshire, and that was represented as very danger
ous ; so an opportunity offering of a man that was
travelling over the fens, we took him for our guide,
and went with him to Spalding, and from thence
to a town called Deeping, and so to Stamford in
Lincolnshire.
This is a large, populous town, and it was market-
day when we came to it ; so we put in at a little
house at the hither end of the town, and walked
into the town.
Here it was not possible to restrain my captain
from playing his feats of art, and my heart ached
for him. I told him I would not go with him, for
he would not promise, and I was so terribly con
cerned at the apprehensions of his venturous humour
that I would not so much as stir out of my lodging ;
but it was in vain to persuade him. He went into
the market, and found a mountebank there, which
was what he wanted. How he picked two pockets
there in one quarter of an hour, and brought to our
quarters a piece of new holland of eight or nine ells,
a piece of stuff, and played three or four pranks
more in less than two hours ; and how afterward he
robbed a doctor of physic, and yet came off' clear in
VOL. i. 10 [ 145 J
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
them all this, I say, as above, belongs to his story,
not mine.
I scolded heartily at him when he came back, and
told him he would certainly ruin himself, and me
too, before he left off, and threatened in so many
words that I would leave him, and go back and
carry the horse to Puckeridge where we borrowed it,
and so go to London by myself.
He promised amendment; but as we resolved
(now we were in the great road) to travel by night,
so it being not yet night, he gives me the slip again,
and was not gone half-an-hour but he comes back
with a gold watch in his hand : " Come," says he,
u why ain't you ready to go ? I am ready to go as
soon as you will ; " and with that he pulls out the
gold watch. I was amazed at such a thing as that
in a country town ; but it seems there was prayers
at one of the churches in the evening, and he, plac
ing himself as the occasion directed, found the way
to be so near the lady as to get it from her side, and
walked off with it unperceived.
The same night we went away by moonlight, after
having the satisfaction to hear the watch cried, and
ten guineas offered for it again. He would have
been glad of the ten guineas instead of the watch,
but durst not venture carry it home. " Well," says
I, " you are afraid, and you have reason. Give it
me ; I will venture to carry it again." But he
[146]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
would not let me, but told me that when he came
into Scotland we might sell anything there without
danger ; which was true indeed, for there they asked
us no questions.
We set out, as I said, in the evening by moon
light, and travelled hard, the road being very plain
and large, till we came to Grantham, by which time
it was about two in the morning, and all the town,
as it were, dead asleep. So we went on for Newark,
where we reached about eight in the morning, and
there we lay down and slept most of the day ; and
by this sleeping so continually in the day-time I kept
him from doing a great deal of mischief, which he
would otherwise have done.
From Newark we took advice of one that was
accidentally comparing the roads, and we concluded
that the road by Nottingham would be the best for
us ; so we turned out of the great road, and went up
the side of the Trent to Nottingham. Here he played
his pranks again in a manner that it was the greatest
wonder imaginable to me that he was not surprised,
and yet he came off clear. And now he had got so
many bulky goods that he bought him a portman
teau to carry them in. It was in vain for me to offer
to restrain him any more ; so after this he went on
his own way.
At Nottingham, I say, he had such success that
made us the hastier to be going than otherwise we
[147]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
would have been, lest we would have been baulked,
and should be laid hold of. From thence we left
the road, which leads to the north again, and went
away by Mansfield into Scarsdale, in Yorkshire.
I shall take up no more of my own story with his
pranks ; they very well merit to be told by them
selves. But I shall observe only what relates to our
journey. In a word, I dragged him along as fast as
I could, till I came to Leeds, in Yorkshire. Here,
though it be a large and populous town, yet he could
make nothing of it ; neither had he any success at
Wakefield ; and he told me, in short, that the north-
country people were certainly all thieves. " Why
so ? " said I. " The people seem to be just as other
people are." " No, no," says he ; " they have their
eyes so about them, and are all so sharp, they look
upon everybody that comes near them to be a pick
pocket, or else they would never stand so upon their
guard. And then again," says he, " they are so poor,
there is but little to be got ; and I am afraid," says
he, " the farther we go north, we shall find it worse."
"Well," says I, " what do you infer from thence?"
" I argue from thence," says he, " that we shall do
nothing there, and I had as good go back into the
south and be hanged as into the north to be starved."
Well, we came at length to Newcastle-upon-Tyne.
Here, on a market-day, was a great throng of people,
and several of the townspeople going to market to
[148]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
buy provisions ; and here he played his pranks,
cheated a shopkeeper of 15 or 16 in goods, and
got clear away with them ; stole a horse, and sold
that he came upon, and played so many pranks that
I was quite frighted for him. I say for him, for I
was not concerned for myself, having never stirred
out of the house where I lodged at least not with
him, nor without some or other with me belonging
to the inn that might give an account of me.
Nor did I use this caution in vain ; for he had
made himself so public by his rogueries that he was
waylaid everywhere to be taken, and had he not art
fully at first given out that he was come from Scot
land and was going toward London, inquiring that
road, and the like, which amused his pursuers for
the first day, he had been taken, and in all prob
ability had been hanged there. But by that artifice
he got half a day's time of them ; and yet, as it was,
he was put so to it that he was fain to plunge, horse
and all, into the river Tweed, and swim over, and
thereby made his escape. It was true that he was
before upon Scots ground (as they call it), and con
sequently they had no power to have carried him off,
if anybody had opposed them ; yet, as they were in a
full chase after him, could they have come up with
him they would have run the risk of the rest, and
they could but have delivered him up if they had
been questioned about it. However, as he got over
[149]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
the Tweed, and was landed safe, they could neither
follow him, the water being too high at the usual
place of going over, nor could they have attempted
to have brought him away if they had taken him.
The place where he took the river was where there
is a ford below Kelso, but the water being up, the
ford was not passable, and he had no time to go to
the ferry-boat, which is about a furlong off, opposite
to the town.
Having thus made his escape, he went to Kelso,
where he had appointed me to come after him. I fol
lowed with a heavy heart, expecting every hour to
meet him upon the road in the custody of the con
stables and such people, or to hear of him in the
gaol ; but when I came to a place on the border
called Woller-haugh-head, there I understood how
he had been chased, and how he made his escape.
When I came to Kelso he was easy enough to be
found ; for his having desperately swam the Tweed,
a rapid and large river, made him much talked of,
though it seems they had not heard of the occasion
of it, nor anything of his character ; for he had wit
enough to conceal all that, and live as retired as he
could till I came to him.
I was not so much rejoiced at his safety as I was
provoked at his conduct ; and the more, for that I
could not find he had yet the least notion of his
having been void of common -sense with respect to
[150]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
his circumstances, as well as contrary to what he
promised me. However, as there was no beating
anything into his head by words, I only told him
that I was glad he was at last gotten into a place of
safety, and I asked him then how he intended to
manage himself in that country. He said in few
words he did not know yet. He doubted the people
were very poor ; but if they had any money he was
resolved to have some of it.
" But do you know, too," says I, " that they are
the severest people upon criminals of your kind in the
world ? " He did not value that, he said, in his blunt,
short way ; he would venture it. Upon this I told
him that, seeing it was so, and he would run such
ventures, I would take my leave of him and be gone
back to England. He seemed sullen, or rather it was
the roughness of his untractable disposition. He
said I might do what I would, he would do as he
found opportunity. However, we did not part im
mediately, but went on towards the capital city.
On the road we found too much poverty and too few
people to give him room to expect any advantage in
his way ; and though he had his eyes about him as
sharp as a hawk, yet he saw plainly there was nothing
to be done ; for as to the men, they did not seem to
have much money about them ; and for the women,
their dress was such that, had they any money, or
indeed any pockets, it was impossible to come at
[151]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
them; for, wearing large plaids about them and
down to their knees, they were wrapped up so close
that there was no coming to make the least attempt
of that kind.
Eelso was indeed a good town, and had abundance
of people in it ; and yet, though he stayed one Sun
day there, and saw the church, which is very large and
thronged with people, yet, as he told me, there was
not one woman to be seen in all the church with any
other dress than a plaid, except in two pews, which
belonged to some nobleman, and who, when they
came out, were so surrounded with footmen and
servants that there was no coming near them, any
more than there was any coming near the king sur
rounded by his guards.
We set out, therefore, with this discouragement,
which I was secretly glad of, and went forward to
Edinburgh. All the way thither we went through
no considerable town, and it was but very coarse
travelling for us, who were strangers ; for we met
with waters which were very dangerous to pass, by
reason of hasty rains, at a place called Lauderdale,
and where my captain was really in danger of drown
ing, his horse being driven down by the stream, and
fell under him, by which he wetted and spoiled his
stolen goods that he brought from Newcastle, and
which he had kept dry strangely, by holding them
up in his arms when he swam the Tweed. But here
[152]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
it wanted but little that he and his horse had been
lost, not so much by the depth of the water as the
fury of the current. But he had a proverb in his
favour, and he got out of the water, though with
difficulty enough, not being born to be drowned, as
I shall observe afterwards in its place.
We came to Edinburgh the third day from Kelso,
having stopped at an inn one whole day, at a place
called Soutrahill, to dry our goods and refresh our
selves. We were oddly saluted at Edinburgh. The
next day after we came thither, my captain having a
desire to walk and look about him, asked me if I
would go and see the town. I told him yes ; so we
went out, and coming through a gate that they call
the Nether Bow, into the great High Street, which
went up to the Cross, we were surprised to see it
thronged with an infinite number of people. " Ay,"
says my captain, this will do. 11 However, as I had
made him promise to make no adventures that day,
otherwise I told him I would not go out with him,
so I held him by the sleeve, and would not let him
stir from me.
Then we came up to the Market Cross, and there
besides the great number of people who passed and
repassed, we saw a great parade or kind of meeting,
like an exchange of gentlemen, of all ranks and
qualities, and this encouraged my captain again, and
he pleased himself with that sight.
[153J
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
It was while we were looking, and wondering at
what we saw here, that we were surprised with a
sight which we little expected. We observed the
people running on a sudden, as to see some strange
thing just coming along ; and strange it was indeed :
for we see two men naked from the waist upwards
run by us as swift as the wind, and we imagined
nothing but that it was two men running a race for
some mighty wager. On a sudden we found two
long, small ropes or lines, which hung down at first,
pulled straight, and the two racers stopped, and
stood still, one close by the other. We could not
imagine what this meant, but the reader may judge
at our surprise when we found a man follow after,
who had the ends of both those lines in his hands,
and who, when he came up to them, gave each of
them two frightful lashes with a wire whip or lash,
which he held in the other hand. And then the
two poor naked wretches run on again to the length
of their line or tether, where they waited for the like
salutation ; and in this manner they danced the length
of the whole street, which is about half-a-mile.
This was a dark prospect to my captain, and put
him in mind, not only of what he was to expect if he
made a slip in the way of his profession in this place,
but also of what he had suffered when he was but a
boy, at the famous place called Bridewell.
But this was not all ; for, as we saw the execution,
[154]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
so we were curious to examine into the crime too ;
and we asked a young fellow who stood near us what
the two men had done for which they suffered that
punishment. The fellow, an unhappy, ill-natured
Scotchman, perceived by our speech that we were
Englishmen, and by our question that we were
strangers, told us, with a malicious wit, that they
were two Englishmen, and that they were whipped
so for picking pockets, and other petty thieveries,
and that they were afterwards to be sent away over
the border into England.
Now this was every word of it false, and was only
formed by his nimble invention to insult us as
Englishmen ; for when we inquired further, they
were both Scotchmen, and were thus scourged for
the usual offences for which we give the like punish
ment in England. And the man who held the line
and scourged them was the city hangman, who (by
the way) is there an officer of note, has a constant
salary, and is a man of substance ; and not only so,
but a most dexterous fellow in his office, and makes
a great deal of money of his employment.
This sight, however, was very shocking to us ; and
my captain turned to me : " Come,"" says he, " let
us go away ; I won't stay here any longer."" I was
glad to hear him say so, but did not think he had
meant or intended what he said. However, we went
back to our quarters, and kept pretty much within,
[155]
1
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
only that in the evenings we walked about. But
even then my captain found no employment, no
encouragement. Two or three times, indeed, he
made a prize of some mercery and millinery goods ;
but when he had them he knew not what to do with
them, so that, in short, he was forced to be honest in
spite of his goodwill to be otherwise.
We remained here about a month, when, on a
sudden, my captain was gone, horse and all, and I
knew nothing what was become of him. Nor did I
ever see or hear of him for eighteen months after,
nor did he so much as leave the least notice for me,
either whither he was gone or whether he would
return to Edinburgh again or no.
I took his leaving me very heinously, not knowing
what to do with myself, being a stranger in the
place ; and, on the other hand, my money abated
apace too. I had for the most part of this time my
horse upon my hands to keep ; and as horses yield
but a sorry price in Scotland, I found no opportunity
to make much of him ; and, on the other hand, I
had a secret resolution, if I had gone back to Eng
land, to have restored him to the owner, at Puck-
eridge, by Ware. And so I should have wronged
him of nothing but the use of him for so long a
time ; but I found an occasion to answer all my
designs about the horse to advantage.
There came a man to the stabler so they call
[156]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
the people at Edinburgh that take in horses to
keep and wanted to know if he could hear of any
returned horses for England. My landlord, so we
called him, came bluntly to me one day, and asked
me if my horse was my own. It was an odd ques
tion, as my circumstances stood, and puzzled me at
first ; and I asked why, and what was the matter.
" Because," says he, " if it be a hired horse in Eng
land, as is often the case with Englishmen who come
to Scotland, I could help you to send it back, and
get you something for riding. 11 So he expressed
himself.
I was very glad of the occasion, and, in short,
took security there of the person for delivering the
horse safe and sound, and had 15s. sterling for the
riding him. Upon this agreement, I gave order
to leave the horse at the Falcon, at Puckeridge, and
where I heard, many years after, that he was honestly
left, and that the owner had him again, but had
nothing for the loan of him.
Being thus eased of the expense of my horse, and
having nothing at all to do, I began to consider with
myself what would become of me, and what I could
turn my hand to. I had not much diminished my
stock of money, for though I was all the way so
wary that I would not join with my captain in his
desperate attempts, yet I made no scruple to live at
his expense, which, as I came out of England only
[157]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
to keep him company, had been but just, had I not
known that all he had to spend upon me was what he
robbed honest people of, and that I was all that
while a receiver of stolen goods. But I was not
come off so far then as to scruple that part at all.
In the next place, I was not so anxious about my
money running low, because I knew what a reserve
I had made at London. But still I was very willing
to have engaged in any honest employment for a live
lihood, for I was sick indeed of the wandering life
which I had led, and was resolved to thieve no more.
But then two or three things which I had offered me
I lost, because I could not write or read.
This afflicted me a great while very much ; but
the stabler, as I have called him, delivered me from my
anxiety that way by bringing me to an honest but a
poor young man, who undertook to teach me both to
write and read, and in a little time too, and for a
small expense, if I would take pains at it. I prom
ised all possible diligence, and to work I went with
it, but found the writing much more difficult to me
than the reading.
However, in half a year's time, or thereabouts, I
could read, and write too, tolerably well, insomuch
that T began to think I was now fit for business.
And I got by it into the service of a certain officer
of the customs, who employed me for a time ; but as
he set me to do little but pass and repass between
[158]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Leeds and Edinburgh, with the accounts which he
kept for the farmers of the customs there, leaving
me to live at my own expense till my wages should
be due, I run out the little money I had left, in
clothes and subsistence, and a little before the year's
end, when I was to have 12 English money, truly
my master was turned out of his place ; and, which
was worse, having been charged with some misappli
cations, was obliged to take shelter in England, and
so we that were servants, for there were three of us,
were left to shift for ourselves.
This was a hard case for me in a strange place, and
I was reduced by it to the last extremity. I might
have gone for England, an English ship being there.
The master proffered me to give me my passage (upon
telling him my distress), and to take my word for
the payment of 10s. when I came there. But my
captain appeared just then under new circumstances,
which obliged him not to go away, and I was loth to
leave him. It seems we were yet further to take our
fate together.
I have mentioned that he left me, and that I saw
him no more for eighteen months. His rambles and
adventures were many in that time. He went to
Glasgow, played some remarkable pranks there, es
caped almost miraculously from the gallows ; got
over to Ireland, wandered about there, turned
raparee, and did some vijlainous things there, and
[159]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
escaped from Londonderry, over to the Highlands in
the north of Scotland ; and about a month before I
was left destitute at Leith by my master, behold !
my noble Captain Jacque came in there, on board
the ferry-boat from Fife, being, after all adventures
and successes, advanced to the dignity of a foot-
soldier in a body of recruits raised in the north for
the regiment of Douglas.
After my disaster, being reduced almost as low as
my captain, I found no better shift before me, at
least for the present, than to enter myself a soldier
too ; and thus we were ranked together, with each
of us a musket upon our shoulders; and I confess
that thing did not sit so ill upon me as I thought at
first it would have done ; for though I fared hard
and lodged ill (for the last, especially, is the fate of
poor soldiers in that part of the world), yet to me
that had been used to lodge on the ashes in the glass
house, this was no great matter. I had a secret
satisfaction at being now under no necessity of steal
ing, and living in fear of a prison, and of the lash
of the hangman a thing which, from the time I
saw it in Edinburgh, was so terrible to me that I
could not think of it without horror. And it was
an inexpressible ease to my mind that I was now in
a certain way of living, which was honest, and which
I could say was not unbecoming a gentleman.
Whatever was my satisfaction in that part, yet
[160]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
other circumstances did not equally concur to make
this life suit me; for after we had been about six
months in this figure, we were informed that the
recruits were all to march for England, and to be
shipped off at Newcastle, or at Hull, to join the
regiment, which was then in Flanders.
I should tell you that, before this, I was extremely
delighted with the life of a soldier, and I took the
exercise so naturally that the sergeant that taught us
to handle our arms, seeing me so ready at it, asked
me if I had never carried arms before. I told him
no ; at which he swore, though jesting. " They call
you colonel," says he, " and I believe you will be a
colonel, or you must be some colonel's bastard, or
you would never handle your arms as you do, at
once or twice showing."
This pleased me extremely, and encouraged me,
and I was mightily taken with the life of a soldier ;
but when my captain came and told me the news,
that we were to march for England, and to be
shipped off for Flanders at Newcastle-upon-Tyne, I
was surprised very much, and new thoughts began
to come in my mind ; as, first, my captain's con
dition was particular, for he durst not appear pub
licly at Newcastle, as he must have done if he had
marched with the battalion (for they were a body of
above four hundred, and therefore called themselves
a battalion, though we were but recruits, and be-
VOL.I. 11 [161]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
longed to several companies abroad) I say, he
must have marched with them, and been publicly
seen, in which case he would have been apprehended
and delivered up. In the nex.t place I remembered
that I had almost 100 in money in London, and if
it should have been asked all the soldiers in the
regiment which of them would go to Flanders a pri
vate sentinel if they had 100 in their pockets, I
believe none of them would answer in the affirmative
100 being at that time sufficient to buy colours
in any new regiment, though not in that regiment,
which was on an old establishment. This whetted
my ambition, and I dreamt of nothing but being a
gentleman officer, as well as a gentleman soldier.
These two circumstances concurring, I began to
be very uneasy, and very unwilling in my thoughts
to go over a poor musqueteer into Flanders, to be
knocked on the head at the tune of 3s. 6d. a week.
While I was daily musing on the circumstances of
being sent away, as above, and considering what to
do, my captain comes to me one evening : " Hark ye,
Jacque," says he, ** I must speak with you ; let us
take a walk in the fields a little out from the houses. 1 "
We were quartered at a place called Park End, near
the town of Dunbar, about twenty miles from Ber-
wick-upon-Tweed, and about sixteen miles from the
river Tweed, the nearest way.
We walked together here, and talked seriously
[162]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
upon the matter. The captain told me how his
case stood, and that he durst not march with the
battalion into Newcastle ; that if he did he should
be taken out of the ranks and tried for his life, and
that I knew as well as he. " I could go privately to
Newcastle," says he, " and go through the town well
enough, but to go publicly is to run into the jaws of
destruction." " Well," says I, " that is very true ;
but what will you do?' 1 "Do!" says he. "Do
you think I am so bound by honour, as a gentleman
soldier, that I will be hanged for them ? No, no,"
says he; "I am resolved to be gone, and I would
have you go with us." Said I, " What do you mean
by us ? " " Why, here is another honest fellow, an
Englishman also," says he, " that is resolved to de
sert too, and he has been a long while in their ser
vice, and says he knows how we shall be used abroad,
and he will not go to Flanders, says he, not he."
" Why," says I, " you will be shot to death for
deserters if you are taken, and they will send out
scouts for you in the morning all over the country,
so that you will certainly fall into their hands."
" As for that," says he, " my comrade is thoroughly
acquainted with the way, and he has undertaken to
bring us to the banks of the Tweed before they can
come up with us ; and when we are on the other
side of the Tweed, they can't take us up."
" And when would you go away ? " says I.
[163]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
" This minute, 11 says he ; " no time to be lost ;
't is a fine moonshining night."
" I have none of my baggage, 11 says I ; " let me go
back and fetch my linen and other things. 11
"Your linen is not much, I suppose, 11 says he,
"and we shall easily get more in England the old
way."
" No, 11 says I, " no more of your old ways. It has
been owing to those old ways that we are now in
such a strait. 11
" Well, well, 11 says he, " the old ways are better
than this starving life of a gentleman, as we call it."
" But," says I, " we have no money in our pockets.
How shall we travel ? "
"I have a little," says the captain, "enough to
help us on to Newcastle ; and if we can get none by
the way, we will get some collier-ship to take us in
and carry us to London by sea. 11
" I like that the best of all the measures you have
laid yet," said I ; and so I consented to go, and went
off with him immediately. The cunning rogue, hav
ing lodged his comrade a mile off under the hills,
had dragged me by talking with him, by little and
little, that way, till just when I consented he was in
sight, and he said, " Look, there 's my comrade ! "
who I knew presently, having seen him among the
men. ,
Being thus gotten under the hills, and a mile off
[164]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
the way, and the day just shut in, we kept on apace,
resolving, if possible, to get out of the reach of our
pursuers before they should miss us or know anything
of our being gone.
We plied our time so well and travelled so hard
that by five o'clock in the morning, we were at a
little village whose name I forget ; but they told us
that we were within eight miles of the Tweed, and
that as soon as we should be over the river we were
on English ground.
We refreshed a little here, but marched on with but
little stay. However, it was half-an-hour past eight
in the morning before we reached the Tweed, so it
was at least twelve miles, when they told us it was
but eight. Here we overtook two more of the same
regiment, who had deserted from Haddington, where
another part of the recruits were quartered.
Those were Scotchmen, and very poor, having not
one penny in their pockets, and had no more when
they made their escape but 8s. between them. And
when they saw us, whom they knew to be of the same
regiment they took us to be pursuers, and that we
came to lay hold of them ; upon which they stood
upon their defence, having the regiment swords on,
as we had also, but none of the mounting or cloth
ing ; for we were not to receive the clothing till we
came to the regiment in Flanders.
It was not long before we made them understand
[166]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
that we were in the same circumstances with them
selves, and so we soon became one company; and
after resting some time on the English side of the
river (for we were heartily tired, and the others were
as much fatigued as we were) I say, after resting
awhile, we set forwards towards Newcastle, whither
we resolved to go to get our passage by sea to Lon
don; for we had not money to hold us out any
farther.
Our money was ebbed very low ; for though I had
one piece of gold in my pocket, which I kept reserved
for the last extremity, yet it was but half-a-guinea,
and my captain had bore all our charges as far as
his money would go, so that when we came to New
castle we had but sixpence left in all to help our
selves, and the two Scots had begged their way all
along the road.
We contrived to come into Newcastle in the dusk
of the evening, and even then we durst not venture
into the public part of the town, but made down
towards the river, something below the town, where
some glass-houses stand. Here we knew not what
to do with ourselves ; but, guided by our fate, we
put a good face upon the matter, and went into an
ale-house, sat down, and called for a pint of beer.
The house was kept by a woman only that is
to say, we saw no other ; and as she appeared very
frank and entertained us cheerfully, we at last told
[166]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
our condition, and asked her if she could not help us
to some kind master of a collier that would give us
a passage to London by sea. The subtle devil, who
immediately found us proper fish for her hook, gave
us the kindest words in the world, and told us she
was heartily sorry she had not seen us one day sooner ;
that there was a collier-master, of her particular ac
quaintance, that went away but with the morning
tide ; that the ship was fallen down to Shields, but
she believed was hardly over the bar yet, and she
would send to his house and see if he was gone on
board; for sometimes the masters do not go away
till a tide after the ship, and she was sure, if he was
not gone, she could prevail with him to take us all
in ; but then she was afraid we must go on board
immediately, the same night.
We begged her to send to his house, for we knew
not what to do, and if she could oblige him to take
us on board, we did not care what time of night it
was ; for, as we had no money, we had no lodging,
and we wanted nothing but to be on board.
We looked upon this as a mighty favour, that she
sent to the master's house, and, to our greater joy,
she brought us word about an hour after that he was
not gone, and was at a tavern in the town, .whither
his boy had been to fetch him, and that he had sent
word he would call there in the way home.
This was all in our favour, and we were extremely
[167]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
pleased with it. About an hour after, the landlady
being in the room with us, her maid brings us word
the master was below. So down she goes to him,
telling us she would go and tell him our case, and
see to persuade him to take us all on board. After
some time she comes up with him, and brings him
into the room to us. " Where are these honest gen
tlemen soldiers," says he, " that are in such distress ? "
We stood all up, and paid our respects to him.
"Well, gentlemen, and is all your money spent?"
" Indeed it is," said one of our company, " and we
shall be infinitely obliged to you, sir, if you will give
us a passage. We will be very willing to do any
thing we can in the ship, though we are not seamen."
" Why," says he, " were none of you ever at sea
in your lives ? "
" No," says we, " not one of us."
** You will be able to do me no service, then,"
says he ; " for you will be all sick. Well, however,"
says he, " for my good landlady's sake here, 1 11 do
it ; but are you all ready to go on board, for I go on
board this very night ? "
** Yes, sir," says we again ; " we are ready to go
this minute."
'* No, no," says he very kindly ; " we '11 drink
together. Come, landlady," 'says he, " make these
honest gentlemen a sneaker of punch."
We looked at one another, for we knew we had
[168]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
no money, and he perceived it. " Come, come," says
he, " don't be concerned at your having no money ;
my landlady here and I never part with dry lips.
Come, goodwife," says he, " make the punch as I bid
you."
We thanked him and said, " God bless you, noble
captain," a hundred times over, being overjoyed with
such good luck. While we were drinking the punch
he calls the landlady : " Come," says he, " I "11 step
home and take my things, and bid them good-bye,
and order the boat to come at high water and take
me up here. And pray, goodwife," says he, "get
me something for supper. Sure, if I can give these
honest men their passage, I may give them a bit of
victuals too ; it may be they han't had much for
dinner."
With this away he went, and in a little while we
heard the jack agoing ; and one of us, going down
stairs for a spy, brought us word there was a good
leg of mutton at the fire. In less than an hour our
captain came again, and came up to us, and blamed
us that we had not drank all the punch out.
" Come," says he, " don't be bashful ; when that is
out we can have another. When I am obliging poor
men, I love to do it handsomely."
We drank on, and drank the punch out, and more
was brought up, and he pushed it about apace ; and
then came up a leg of mutton, and I need not say
1169]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
that we ate heartily, being told several times that
we should pay nothing. After supper was done he
bids my landlady ask if the boat was come. And
she brought word no ; it was not high water by a
good deal. " No ! " says he. " Well, then, give us
some more punch. 11 So more punch was brought in,
and, as was afterwards confessed, something was put
into it, or more brandy than ordinary, and by that
time the punch was drunk out we were all very drunk ;
and as for me, I was asleep.
About the time that was out we were told the
boat was come ; so we tumbled out, almost over one
another, into the boat, and away we went, and our
captain in the boat. Most of us, if not all, fell
asleep, till after some time, though how much or
how far going we knew not, the boat stopped, and
we were waked and told we were at the ship^s side,
which was true ; and with much help and holding us,
for fear we should fall overboard, we were all gotten
into the ship. All I remember of it was this, that
as soon as we were on board our captain, as we called
him, called out thus : " Here, boatswain, take care
of these gentlemen, and give them good cabins, and
let them turn in and go to sleep, for they are very
weary ; " and so indeed we were, and very drunk too,
being the first time I had ever drank punch in my
life.
Well, care was taken of us according to order, and
[170]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
we were put into very good cabins, where we were
sure to go immediately to sleep. In the meantime
the ship, which was indeed just ready to go, and only
on notice given had come to an anchor for us at
Shields, weighed, stood over the bar, and went off to
sea ; and when we waked, and began to peep abroad,
which was not till near noon the next day, we found
ourselves a great way at sea ; the land in sight, indeed,
but at a great distance, and all going merrily on for
London, as we understood it. We were very well
used and well satisfied with our condition for about
three days, when we began to inquire whether we
were not almost come, and how much longer it would
be before we should come into the river. " What
river ?" says one of the men. " Why, the Thames,"
says my Captain Jacque. " The Thames ! " says the
seaman. " What do you mean by that ? What,
han't you had time enough to be sober yet ? " So
Captain Jacque said no more, but looked about him
like a fool ; when, a while after, some other of us
asked the like question, and the seaman, who knew
nothing of the cheat, began to smell a trick, and
turning to the other Englishman that came with us,
" Pray," says he, " where do you fancy you are going,
that you ask so often about it ? " " Why, to Lon
don," says he. " Where should we be going ? We
agreed with the captain to carry us to London."
"Not with the captain," says he, "I dare say.
[ 171 ] '
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Poor men ! you are all cheated; and I thought so when
I saw you come aboard with that kidnapping rogue
Gilliman. Poor men ! " adds he, " you are all be
trayed. Why, you are going to Virginia, and the
ship is bound to Virginia."
The Englishman falls a-storming and raving like
a madman, and we gathering round him, let any man
guess, if they can, what was our surprise and how we
were confounded when we were told how it was. In
short, we drew our swords and began to lay about
us, and made such a noise and hurry in the ship that
at last the seamen were obliged to call out for help.
The captain commanded us to be disarmed in the
first place, which was not, however, done without
giving and receiving some wounds, and afterwards
he caused us to be brought to him into the great
cabin.
Here he talked very calmly to us, that he was
really very sorry for what had befallen us ; that he
perceived we had been trepanned, and that the fellow
who had brought us on board was a rogue that was
employed by a sort of wicked merchants not unlike
himself ; that he supposed he had been represented
to us as captain of the ship, and asked us if it was
not so. We told him yes, and gave him a large
account of ourselves, and how we came to the woman's
house to inquire for some master of a collier to get a
passage to London, and that this man engaged to
[172]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
carry us to London in his own ship, and the like, as
is related above.
He told us he was very sorry for it, and he had no
hand in it ; but it was out of his power to help us,
and let us know very plainly what our condition was ;
namely, that we were put on board his ship as ser
vants to be delivered at Maryland to such a man,
whom he named to us ; but that, however, if we
would be quiet and orderly in the ship, he would use
us well in the passage, and take care we should be
used well when we came there, and that he would do
anything for us that lay in his power ; but if we were
unruly and refractory, we could not expect but he
must take such measures as to oblige us to be satis
fied; and that, in short, we must be handcuffed,
carried down between the decks and kept as pris
oners, for it was his business to take care that no
disturbance must be in the ship.
My captain raved like a madman, swore at the
captain, told him he would not fail to cut his throat,
either on board or ashore, whenever he came within
his reach ; and that, if he could not do it now, he
would do it after he came to England again, if ever
he durst show his face there again. For he might
depend upon it, if he was carried away to Virginia, he
should find his way to England again ; that, if it
was twenty years after, he would have satisfaction of
him. " Well, young man," says the captain, smiling,
(173J
"'tis very honestly said, and then I must take care
of you while I have you here, and afterwards I must
take care of myself." " Do your worst," says Jacque
boldly ; " I '11 pay you home for it one time or
other." " I must venture that, young man," says
he, still calmly, " but for the present you and I must
talk a little ; " so he bids the boatswain, who stood
near him, secure him, which he did. I spoke to him
to be easy and patient, and that the captain had no
hand in our misfortune.
" No hand in it ! D n him," said he aloud, " do
you think he is not confederate in this villainy ?
Would any honest man receive innocent people on
board his ship and not inquire of their circum
stances, but carry them away and not speak to them ?
And now he knows how barbarously we are treated,
why does he not set us on shore again ? I tell you
he is a villain, and none but him. Why does he not
complete his villainy and murder us, and then he
will be free from our revenge ? But nothing else
shall ever deliver him from my hands but sending us
to the d 1, or going thither himself; and I am
honester in telling him so fairly than he has been to
me, and am in no passion any more than he is."
The captain was, I say, a little shocked at his
boldness, for he talked a great deal more of the same
kind, with a great deal of spirit and fire, and yet
without any disorder in his temper. Indeed I was
[174]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
surprised at it, for I never had heard him talk so
well and so much to the purpose in my life. The
captain was, I say, a little shocked at it. However,
he talked very handsomely to him, and said to him,
" Look ye, young man, I bear with you the more
because I am sensible your case is very hard ; and
yet I cannot allow your threatening me neither, and
you oblige me by that to be severer with you than I
intended. However, I will do nothing to you but
what your threatening my life makes necessary."
The boatswain called out to have him to the geers,
as they called it, and to have him taste the cat-o 1 -
nine-tails all which were terms we did not under
stand till afterwards, when we were told he should
have been whipped and pickled, for they said it was
not to be suffered. But the captain said, " No, no ;
the young man has been really injured, and has
reason to be very much provoked ; but I have not
injured him," says he. And then he protested he
had no hand in it, that he was put on board, and we
also, by the owner's agent, and for their account;
that it was true that they did always deal in servants,
and carried a great many every voyage, but that it
was no profit to him as commander ; but they were
always put on board by the owners, and that it was
none of his business to inquire about them ; and, to
prove that he was not concerned in it, but was very
much troubled at so base a thing, and that he would
[175]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
not be instrumental to carry us away against our
wills, if the wind and the weather would permit, he
would set us on shore again, though, as it blowed
then, the wind being at south-west and a hard gale,
and that they were already as far as the Orkneys, it
was impossible.
But the captain was the same man. He told him
that, let the wind blow how it would, he ought not
to carry us away against our consent ; and as to his
pretences of his owners and the like, it was saying
of nothing to him, for it was he, the captain, that
carried us away, and that, whatever rogue trepanned
us on board, now he knew it, he ought no more to
carry us away than murder us; and that he de
manded to be set on shore, or else he, the captain,
was a thief and a murderer.
The captain continued mild still ; and then I put
in with an argument that had like to have brought
us all back, if the weather had not really hindered
it ; which, when I came to understand sea affairs
better, I found was indeed so, and that it had been
impossible. I told the captain that I was sorry
that my brother was so warm, but that our usage
was villainous, which he could not deny. Then I
took up the air of what my habit did not agree with.
I told him that we were not people to be sold tor
slaves, that though we had the misfortune to be in a
circumstance that obliged us to conceal ourselves,
[176]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
having disguised ourselves to get out of the army,
as being not willing to go into Flanders, yet that we
were men of substance, and able to discharge our
selves from the service when it came to that ; and,
to convince him of it, I told him I would give him
sufficient security to pay 20 apiece for my brother
and myself; and in as short time as we could send
from the place he should put into London, and re
ceive a return. And, to show that I was able to do
it, I pulled out my bill for .94 from the gentleman
of the custom-house, and who, to my infinite satis
faction, he knew as soon as he saw the bill. He
was astonished at this, and, lifting up his hands,
" By what witchcraft," says he, " were ye brought
hither ! "
"As to that," says I, "we have told you the story,
and we add nothing to it ; but we insist upon it
that you will do this justice to us now." " Well,"
says he, " I am very sorry for it, but I cannot answer
putting back the ship ; neither, if I could," says he,
" is it practicable to be done."
While this discourse lasted the two Scotchmen
and the other Englishman were silent ; but as I
seemed to acquiesce, the Scotchmen began to talk to
the same purpose, which I need not repeat, and had
not mentioned but for a merry passage that fol
lowed. After the Scotchmen had said all they
could, and the captain still told them they must
TOT.X.-1S [177]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
submit, "And will you then carry us to Virginia?"
" Yes," says the captain. " And will we be sold,"
says the Scotchman, " when we come there?" "Yes,"
says the captain. " Why then, sir," says the Scotch
man, " the devil will have you at the hinder end of
the bargain." " Say you so," says the captain, smil
ing. " Well, well, let the devil and I alone to agree
about that ; do you be quiet and behave civilly, as
you should do, and you shall be used as kindly, both
here and there too, as I can." The poor Scotchmen
could say little to it, nor I, nor any of us ; for we
saw there was no remedy but to leave the devil and
the captain to agree among themselves, as the cap
tain had said, as to the honesty of it.
Thus, in short, we were all, I say, obliged to ac
quiesce but my captain, who was so much the more
obstinate when he found that I had a fund to make
such an offer upon ; nor could all my persuasions
prevail with him. The captain of the ship and he
had many pleasant dialogues about this in the rest of
the voyage, in which Jacque never treated him with
any language but that of kidnapper and villain, nor
talked of anything but of taking his revenge of him.
But I omit that part, though very diverting, as being
no part of my own story.
In short, the wind continued to blow hard, though
very fair, till, as the seamen said, we were past the
islands on the north of Scotland, and that we began
(178]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
to steer away westerly (which I came to under
stand since). As there was no land any way for
many hundred leagues, so we had no remedy but
patience, and to be easy as we could ; only my surly
Captain Jacque continued the same man all the
way.
We had a very good voyage, no storms all the
way, and a northerly wind almost twenty days
together ; so that, in a word, we made the capes of
Virginia in two-and-thirty days from the day we
steered west, as I have said, which was in the lat
itude of 60 degrees 30 minutes, being to the north
of the isle of Great Britain ; and this, they said, was
a very quick passage.
Nothing material happened to me during the
voyage ; and indeed, when I came there, I was
obliged to act in so narrow a compass that nothing
very material could present itself.
When we came ashore, which was in a great river
which they call Potomac, the captain asked us, but
me more particularly, whether I had anything to
propose to him now. Jacque answered, " Yes, I have
something to propose to you, captain ; that is, that
I have promised you to cut your throat, and depend
upon it I will be as good as my word." "Well,
well," says the captain, " if I can't help it, you
shall ; " so he turned away to me. I understood him
very well what he meant ; but I was now out of the
[179]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
reach of any relief; and as for my note, it was now
but a bit of paper of no value, for nobody could
receive it but myself. I saw no remedy, and so
talked coldly to him of it as of a thing I was in
different about ; and indeed I was grown indifferent,
for I considered all the way on the voyage, that as
I was bred a vagabond, had been a pickpocket and a
soldier, and was run from my colours, ano! that I had
no settled abode in the world, nor any employ to
get anything by, except that wicked one I was bred
to, which had the gallows at the heels of it, I did
not see but that this service might be as well to me
as other business. And this I was particularly sat
isfied with when they told me that after I had served
out the five years' servitude I should have the cour
tesy of the country (as they called it) ; that is, a
certain quantity of land to cultivate and plant for
myself. So that now I was like to be brought up
to something by which I might live, without that
wretched thing called stealing, which my very soul
abhorred, and which I had given over, as I have said,
ever since that wicked time that I robbed the poor
widow of Kentish Town.
In this mind I was when I arrived at Virginia ;
and so, when the captain inquired of me what I in
tended to do, and whether I had anything to propose
that is to say, he meant whether I would give him
my bill, which he wanted to be fingering very much
[180]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
I answered coldly, my bill would be of no use to
me now, for nobody would advance anything upon
it. Only this I would say to him, that if he would
carry me and Captain Jacque back to England, and
to London again, I would pay him the 20 off my
bill for each of us. This he had no mind to ; " for,
as to your brother," says he, " I would not take him
into my ship for twice 20, he is such a hardened,
desperate villain," says he ; "I should be obliged to
carry him in irons as I brought him hither."
Thus we parted with our captain or kidnapper,
call him as you will. We were then delivered to
the merchants to whom we were consigned, who
again disposed of us as they thought fit ; and in a
few days we were separated.
As for my Captain Jacque, to make short of the
story, that desperate rogue had the luck to have a
very easy, good master, whose easiness and good
humour he abused very much ; and, in particular,
took an opportunity to run away with a boat which
his master entrusted him and another with to carry
some provisions down the river to another plantation
which he had there. This boat and provisions they
ran away with, and sailed north to the bottom of
the bay, as they call it, and into a river called Sus-
quehanna, and there quitting the boat, they wandered
through the woods, till they came to Pennsylvania,
from whence they made shift to get passage to New
[181]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
England, and from thence home ; where, falling in
among his old companions and to the old trade, he
was at length taken and hanged, about a month be
fore I came to London, which was near twenty years
afterwards.
My part was harder at the beginning, though
better at the latter end. I was disposed of, that is
to say, sold, to a rich planter whose name was Smith,
and with me the other Englishman, who was my
fellow-deserter, that Jacque brought me to when we
went off from Dunbar.
We were now fellow-servants, and it was our lot
to be carried up a small river or creek which falls
into Potomac river, about eight miles from the
great river. Here we were brought to the planta
tion, and put in among about fifty servants, as well
negroes as others ; and being delivered to the head
man, or director, or manager of the plantation, he
took care to let us know that we must expect to
work, and very hard too ; for it was for that pur
pose his master bought servants, and for no other.
I told him, very submissively, that since it was our
misfortune to come into such a miserable condition
as we were in, we expected no other; only we de
sired we might be showed our business, and be
allowed to learn it gradually, since he might be
sure we had not been used to labour ; and I added
that when he knew particularly by what methods
[182]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
we were brought and betrayed into such a condition,
he would perhaps see cause at least to show us that
favour, if not more. This I spoke with such a mov
ing tone as gave him a curiosity to inquire into the
particulars of our story, which I gave him at large,
a little more to our advantage, too, than ordinary.
This story, as I hoped it would, did move him to
a sort of tenderness ; but yet he told us that his
master's business must be done, and that he expected
we must work as above ; that he could not dispense
with that upon any account whatever. Accordingly,
to work we went; and indeed we had three hard
things attending us ; namely, we worked hard,
lodged hard, and fared hard. The first I had been
an utter stranger to; the last I could shift well
enough with.
During this scene of life I had time to reflect on
my past hours, and upon what I had done in the
world ; and though I had no great capacity of mak
ing a clear judgment, and very little reflections from
conscience, yet it made some impressions upon me ;
and particularly, that I was brought into this miser
able condition of a slave by some strange directing
power as a punishment for the wickedness of my
younger years ; and this thought was increased upon
the following occasion. The master whose service I
was now engaged in was a man of substance and fig
ure in the country, and had abundance of servants,
[183]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
as well negroes as English ; in all, I think, he had
near two hundred ; and among so many, as some
grew every year infirm and unable to work, others
went off upon their time being expired, and others
died ; and by these and other accidents the number
would diminish, if they were not often recruited and
filled, and this obliged him to buy more every year.
It happened while I was here that a ship arrived
from London with several servants, and among the
rest was seventeen transported felons, some burnt in
the hand, others not ; eight of whom my master
bought for the time specified in the warrant for
their transportation respectively, some for a longer,
some a shorter, term of years.
Our master was a great man in the country, and a
justice of peace, though he seldom came down to the
plantation where I was. Yet, as the new servants
were brought on shore and delivered at our planta
tion, his worship came thither, in a kind of state, to
see and receive them. When they were brought
before him I was called, among other servants, as a
kind of guard, to take them into custody after he
had seen them, and carry them to the work. They
were brought by a guard of seamen from the ship,
and the second mate of the ship came with them,
and delivered them to our master, with the warrant
for their transportation, as above.
When his worship had read over the warrants, he
[184]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
called them over by their names, one by one, and
having let them know, by his reading the warrants
over again to each man respectively, that he knew
for what offences they were transported, he talked
to every one separately very gravely ; let them know
how much favour they had received in being saved
from the gallows, which the law had appointed for
their crimes; that they were not sentenced to be
transported, but to be hanged, and that transporta
tion was granted them upon their own request and
humble petition.
Then he laid before them that they ought to look
upon the life they were just going to enter upon as
just beginning the world again ; that if they thought
fit to be diligent and sober, they would, after the
time they were ordered to serve was expired, be en
couraged by the constitution of the country to settle
and plant for themselves ; and that even he himself
would be so kind to them, that if he lived to see any
of them serve their time faithfully out, it was his
custom to assist his servants in order to their settling
in that country, according as their behaviour might
merit from him ; and they would see and know
several planters round about them who now were
in very good circumstances, and who formerly were
only his servants, in the same condition with them,
and came from the same place that is to say,
Newgate ; and some of them had the mark of it in
[185]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
their hands, but were now very honest men and lived
in very good repute.
Among the rest of his new servants, he came to a
young fellow not above seventeen or eighteen years
of age, and his warrant mentions that he was, though
a young man, yet an old offender ; that he had been
several times condemned, but had been respited or
pardoned, but still he continued an incorrigible pick
pocket ; that the crime for which he was now trans
ported was for picking a merchant's pocket-book, or
letter-case, out of his pocket, in which was bills of
exchange for a very great sum of money; that he
had afterwards received the money upon some of the
bills, but that going to a goldsmith in Lombard
Street with another bill, and having demanded the
money, he was stopped, notice having been given of
the loss of them ; that he was condemned to die for
the felony, and being so well known for an old
offender, had certainly died, but the merchant, upon
his earnest application, had obtained that he should
be transported, on condition that he restored all the
rest of his bills, which he had done accordingly.
Our master talked a long time to this young fellow ;
mentioned, with some surprise, that he so young
should have followed such a wicked trade so long as
to obtain the name of an old offender at so young
an age ; and that he should be styled incorrigible,
which is to signify that notwithstanding his being
[186]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
whipped two or three times, and several times pun
ished by imprisonment, and once burnt in the hand,
yet nothing would do him any good, but that he was
still the same. He talked mighty religiously to this
boy, and told him God had not only spared him
from the gallows, but had now mercifully delivered
him from the opportunity of committing the same
sin again, and put it into his power to live an honest
life, which perhaps he knew not how to do before ;
and though some part of his life now might be la
borious, yet he ought to look on it to be no more
than being put out apprentice to an honest trade,
in which, when he came out of his time, he might
be able to set up for himself and live honestly.
Then he told him that while he was a servant he
would have no opportunity to be dishonest ; so when
he came to be for himself he would have no temp
tation to it ; and so, after a great many other kind
things said to him and the rest, they were dismissed.
I was exceedingly moved at this discourse of our
master's, as anybody would judge I must be, when it
was directed to such a young rogue, born a thief,
and bred up a pickpocket, like myself; for I thought
all my master said was spoken to me, and sometimes
it came into my head that sure my master was some
extraordinary man, and he knew all things that ever
I had done in my life.
But I was surprised to the last degree when my
[187]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
master, dismissing all the rest of us servants, pointed
at me, and speaking to his head-clerk, " Here," says
he, " bring that young fellow hither to me."
I had been near a year in the work, and I had
plied it so well that the clerk, or head-man, either
flattered me or did really believe that I behaved
very well. But I was terribly frighted to hear my
self called out aloud, just as they used to call for
such as had done some misdemeanour, and were to
be lashed or otherwise corrected.
I came in like a malefactor indeed, and thought I
looked like one just taken in the fact and carried
before the justice ; and indeed when I came in, for I
was carried into an inner room or parlour in the
house to him (his discourse to the rest was in a large
hall, where he sat in a seat like a lord judge upon
the bench, or a petty king upon his throne) ; when
I came in, I say, he ordered his man to withdraw,
and I standing half naked and bare-headed, with my
haugh, or hoe, in my hand (the posture and figure I
was in at my work), near the door, he bade me lay
down my hoe and come nearer. Then he began to
look a little less stern and terrible than I fancied him
to look before, or, perhaps, both his countenance
then and before might be to my imagination differ
ing from what they really were ; for we do not
always judge those things by the real temper of the
person, but by the measure of our apprehensions.
[188]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
" Hark ye, young man, how old are you ? " says
my master ; and so our dialogue began.
Jacque. Indeed, sir, I do not know.
Mast. What is your name ?
Jacque. They call me Colonel 1 here, but my
name is Jacque, an't please your worship.
Mast. But prithee, what is thy name ?
Jacque. Jacque.
Mast. What ! is thy Christian name, then, Colonel,
and thy surname Jacque ?
Jacque. Truly, sir, to tell your honour the truth,
I know little or nothing of myself, 2 nor what my
true name is ; but thus I have been called ever since
I remember. Which is my Christian name, or which
my surname, or whether I was ever christened or not,
I cannot tell.
Mast. Well, however, that 's honestly answered.
Pray, how came you hither, and on what account are
you made a servant here ?
Jacque. I wish your honour could have patience
with me to hear the whole story ; it is the hardest
and most unjust thing that ever came before you.
Mast. Say you so? Tell it me at large, then.
I '11 hear it, I promise that, if it be an hour long.
1 I was not called Colonel Jacque as at London, but Colonel,
and they did not know me by any other name.
2 He did not now talk quite so blindly and childishly as
when he was a boy, and when the custom-house gentleman
talked to him about his names.
[189]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
This encouraged me, and I began at being a sol
dier, and being persuaded to desert at Dunbar, and
gave him all the particulars, as they are related
above, to the time of my coming on shore and the
captain talking to me about my bill after I arrived
here. He held up his hands several times as I went
on, expressing his abhorrence of the usage I had met
with at Newcastle, and inquired the name of the
master of the ship; "for," said he, "that captain,
for all his smooth words, must be a rogue." So I
told him his name, and the name of the ship, and he
took it down in his book, and then he went on.
Mast. But pray answer me, honestly too, to
another question : What was it made you so much
concerned at my talking to the boy there, the
pickpocket ?
Jacque. An 't please your honour, it moved me to
hear you talk so kindly to a poor slave.
Mast. And was that all ? Speak truly now.
Jacque. No, indeed ; but a secret wish came into
my thoughts, that you, that were so good to such a
creature as that, could but one way or other know
my case, and that if you did, you would certainly
pity me, and do something for me.
Mast. Well, but was there nothing in his case that
hit your own, that made you so affected with it ; for
I saw tears come from your eyes and it was that
made me call to speak to you ?
[190]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Jacque. Indeed, sir, I have been a wicked, idle boy,
and was left desolate in the world ; but that boy is a
thief, and condemned to be hanged. I never was
before a court of justice in my life.
Mast. Well, I won]t examine you too far. If you
were never before a court of justice, and are not a
criminal transported, I have nothing further to in
quire of you. You have been ill used, that 's cer
tain ; and was it that that affected you ?
Jacque. Yes, indeed, please your honour. (We
all called him his honour, or his worship.)
Mast. Well, now I do know your case, what can
I do for you ? You speak of a bill of ^94 of which
you would have given the captain 4>0 for your
liberty ; have you that bill in your keeping still ?
Jacque. Yes, sir ; here it is.
I pulled it out of the waistband of my drawers,
where I always found means to preserve it, wrapped
up in a piece of paper, and pinned to the waistband,
and yet almost worn out, too, with often pinning
and removing. So I gave it to him to read, and he
read it.
Mast. And is this gentleman in being that gave
you the bill ?
Jacque. Yes, sir ; he was alive and in good health
when I came from London, which you may see by the
date of the bill, for I came away the next day.
Mast. I do not wonder that the captain of the
[191]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
ship was willing to get this bill of you when you
came on shore here.
Jacque. I would have given it into his possession if
he would have carried me and my brother back again
to England, and have taken what he asked for us
out of it.
Mast. Ay; but he knew better than that, too.
He knew, if he had any friends there, they would
call him to an account for what he had done. But
I wonder he did not take it from you while you were
at sea, either by fraud or by force.
Jacque. He did not attempt that indeed.
Mast. Well, young man, I have a mind to try if
I can do you any service in this case. On my word,
if the money can be paid, and you can get it safe
over, I might put you in A way how to be a better
man than your master, if you will be honest and
diligent.
Jacque. As I have behaved myself in your service,
sir, you will, I hope, judge of the rest.
Mast. But perhaps you hanker after returning to
England ?
Jacque. No, indeed, sir ; if I can but get my bread
honestly here, I have no mind to go to England ;
for I know not how to get my bread there. If I had,
I had not 'listed for a soldier.
Mast. Well, but I must ask you some questions
about that part hereafter ; for 't is indeed something
[192]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
strange that you should list for a soldier when you
had 94> in your pocket.
Jacque. I shall give your worship as particular ac
count of that as I have of the other part of my life,
if you please ; but 't is very long.
Mast. Well, we will have that another time. But
to the case in hand. Are you willing I should send
to anybody at London to talk with that gentleman
that gave you the bill ; not to take the money of
him, but to ask him only whether he has so much
money of yours in his hands, and whether he will
part with it when you shall give order, and send the
bill, or a duplicate of it ; that is (says he) the copy ?
(And it was well he did say so, for I did not under
stand the word duplicate at all.)
Jacque. Yes, sir ; I will give you the bill itself, if
you please. I can trust it with you, though I could
not with him.
Mast. No, no, young man, I won't take it from you.
Jacqui. I wish your worship would please to keep
it for me, for if I should lose it, then I am quite
undone.
Mast. I will keep it for you, Jacque, if you will ;
but then you shall have a note under my hand, sig
nifying that I have it, and will return it you upon
demand, which will be as safe to you as the bill. I
won't take it else.
So I gave my master the bill, and he gave me his
VOL. I. -13 [193]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
note for it ; and he was a faithful steward for me, as
you will hear in its place. After this conference I
was dismissed, and went to my work ; but about two
hours after, the steward, or the overseer of the plan
tation, came riding by, and coming up to me as I
was at work, pulled a bottle out of his pocket, and
calling me to him, gave me a dram of rum. When,
in good manners, I had taken but a little sup, he
held it out to me again, and bade me take another,
and spoke wondrous civilly to me, quite otherwise
than he used to do.
This encouraged me and heartened me very much,
but yet I had no particular view of anything, or
which way I should have any relief.
A day or two after, when we were all going out to
our work in the morning, the overseer called me to
him again, and gave me a dram and a good piece of
bread, and bade me come off from my work about
one o'clock, and come to him to the house, for he
must speak with me.
When I came to him, I came, to be sure, in the
ordinary habit of a poor half-naked slave. " Come
hither, young man," says he, " and give me your hoe."
When I gave it him, " Well," says he, " you are to
work no more in this plantation."
I looked surprised, ' and as if I was frighted.
" What have I done, sir ? " said I ; " and whither
am I to be sent away?"
[194]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
" Nay, nay," says he, and looked very pleasantly,
" do not be frighted ; 't is for your good ; 1 t is not
to hurt you. I am ordered to make an overseer of
you, and you shall be a slave no longer. 11
" Alas ! " says I to him, " I an overseer ! I am in
no condition for it. I have no clothes to put on, no
linen, nothing to help myself. 11
" Well, well, 11 says he, " you may be better used
than you are aware df. Come hither with me. 11 So
he led me into a vast, great warehouse, or, rather, set
of warehouses, one within another, and calling the
warehouse-keeper, " Here, 11 says he, " you must clothe
this man, and give him everything necessary, upon
the foot of number five, and give the bill to me. Our
master has ordered me to allow it in the account of
the west plantation. 11 That was, it seems, the plan
tation where I was to go.
Accordingly, the warehouse-keeper carried me
into an inner warehouse, where were several suits of
clothes of the sort his orders mentioned, which were
plain but good sorts of clothes, ready made, being
of a good broadcloth, about 11s. a yard in England ;
and with this he gave me three good shirts, two pair
of shoes, stockings, and gloves, a hat, six neckcloths,
and, in short, everything I could want ; and when he
had looked everything out, and fitted them, he lets
me into a little room by itself. " Here, 11 says he ;
" go in there a slave, and come out a gentleman ; *
[195]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
and with that carried everything into the room, and,
shutting the door, bid me put them on, which I did
most willingly ; and now you may believe that I
began to hope for something better than ordinary.
In a little while after this came the overseer, and
gave me joy of my new clothes, and told me I must
go with him. So I was earned to another plantation,
larger than that where I worked before, and where
there were two overseers or clerks ; one within doors,
and one without. This last was removed to another
plantation, and I was placed there in his room (that
is to say, as the clerk without doors), and my busi
ness was to look after the servants and negroes, and
take care that they did their business, provide their
food, and, in short, both govern and direct them.
I was elevated to the highest degree in my thoughts
at this advancement, and it is impossible for me to
express the joy of my mind upon this occasion ; but
there came a difficulty upon me, that shocked me so
violently and went so against my very nature that I
really had almost forfeited my place about it, and,
in all appearance, the favour of our master, who had
been so generous to me ; and this was, that when I
entered upon my office, I had a horse given me and
a long horsewhip, like what we call in England a
hunting-whip. The horse was to ride up and down
all over the plantation, to see the servants and
negroes did their work ; and, the plantation being so
[196]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
large, it could not be done on foot, at least so often
and so effectively as was required ; and the horse
whip was given me to correct and lash the slaves
and servants when they proved negligent or quar
relsome, or, in short, were guilty of any offence.
This part turned the very blood within my veins,
and I could not think of it with any temper, that I,
who was but yesterday a servant or slave like them,
and under the authority of the same lash, should
lift up my hand to the cruel work which was my
terror but the day before. This, I say, I could not
do ; insomuch that the negroes perceived it, and I
had soon so much contempt upon my authority that
we were all in disorder.
The ingratitude of their return for the compassion
I showed them provoked me, I confess, and a little
hardened my heart ; and I began with the negroes,
two of whom I was obliged to correct ; and I thought
I did it most cruelly ; but after I had lashed them
till every blow I struck them hurt myself and I was
ready to faint at the work, the rogues laughed at
me, and one of them had the impudence to say,
behind my back, that, if he had the whipping of me,
he would show me better how to whip a negro.
Well, however, I had no power to do it in such a
barbarous manner as I found it was necessary to
have it done ; and the defect began to be a detri
ment to our master's business. And now I began
[197]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
indeed to see that the cruelty so much talked of,
used in Virginia and Barbados, and other colonies,
in whipping the negro slaves, was not so much
owing to the tyranny and passion and cruelty of
the English, as had been reported, the English not
being accounted to be of a cruel disposition, and
really are not so ; but that it is owing to the
brutality and obstinate temper of the negroes, who
cannot be managed by kindness and courtesy, but
must be ruled with a rod of iron, beaten with
scorpions, as the Scripture calls it, and must be used
as they do use them, or they would rise and murder
all their masters ; which, their numbers considered,
would not be hard for them to do, if they had arms
and ammunition suitable to the rage and cruelty of
their nature.
But I began to see at the same time that this
brutal temper of the negroes was not rightly man
aged ; that they did not take the best course with
them to make them sensible, either of mercy or
punishment ; and it was evident to me that even the
worst of those tempers might be brought to a com
pliance without the lash, or at least without so much
of it as they generally inflicted.
Our master was really a man of humanity himself,
and was sometimes so full of tenderness that he would
forbid the severities of his overseers and stewards ; but
he saw the necessity of it, and was obliged at last to
[198]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
leave it to the discretion of his upper servants. Yet
he would often bid them be merciful, and bid them
consider the difference of the constitution of the
bodies of the negroes, some being less able to bear
the tortures of their punishment than others, and
some of them less obstinate, too, than others.
However, somebody was so officious as to inform
him against me upon this occasion, and let him know
that I neglected his affairs, and that the servants
were under no government ; by which means his
plantation was not duly managed, and that all
things were in disorder.
This was a heavy charge for a young overseer, and
his honour came like a judge, with all his attendants,
to look into things and hear the cause. However,
he was so just to me as that, before he censured me,
he resolved to hear me fully, and that not only
publicly, but in private too. And the last part of
this was my particular good fortune ; for, as he had
formerly allowed me to speak to him with freedom,
so I had the like freedom now, and had full liberty
to explain and defend myself.
I knew nothing of the complaint against me till I
had it from his own mouth, nor anything of his
coming till I saw him in the very plantation, view
ing his work, and viewing the several pieces of
ground that were ordered to be new planted ; and
after he had rode all round, and seen things in the
[199]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
condition which they were to be seen in, how every
thing was in its due order, and the servants and
negroes were all at work, and everything appearing
to his mind, he went into the house.
As I saw him come up the walks I ran towards
him and made my homage, and gave him my hum
ble thanks for the goodness he had showed me in
taking me from the miserable condition I was in
before, and employing and entrusting me in his
business; and he looked pleasant enough, though
he did not say much at first ; and I attended him
through the whole plantation, gave him an account
of everything as we went along, answered all his ob
jections and inquiries everywhere in such a manner
as it seems he did not expect^ and, as he acknowl
edged afterwards, everything was very much to his
satisfaction.
There was an overseer, as I observed, belonging to
the same plantation, who was, though not over me,
yet in a work superior to mine ; for his business was
to see the tobacco packed up and deliver it either on
board the sloops or otherwise, as our master ordered,
and to receive English goods from the grand ware
house, which was at the other plantation, because
that was nearest the water-side ; and, in short, to
keep the accounts.
This overseer, an honest and upright man, made
no complaint to him of his business being neglected,
[200 J
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
as above, or of anything like it, though he inquired
of him about it, and that very strictly, too.
I should have said, that as he rid over the planta
tion, he came in his round to the place where the
servants were usually corrected when they had done
any fault ; and there stood two negroes, with their
hands tied behind them, as it were under sentence ;
and when he came near them they fell on their knees
and made pitiful signs to him for mercy. " Alas !
alas ! " says he, turning to me, " why did you bring
me this way ? I do not love such sights. What
must I do now ? I must pardon them ; prithee,
what have they done ?" I told him the particular
offences which they were brought to the place for.
One had stole a bottle of rum, and had made him
self drunk with it, and, when he was drunk, had done
a great many mad things, and had attempted to
knock one of the white servants' brains out with a
handspike, but that the white man had avoided the
blow, and, striking up the negro's heels, had seized
him and brought him prisoner thither, where he had
lain all night ; and that I had told him he was to be
whipped that day, and the next three days, twice
every day.
" And could you be so cruel ? " says his honour.
" Why, you would kill the poor wretch ; and so,
beside the blood which you would have to answer
for, you would lose me a lusty man negro, which cost
[201 ]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
me at least ,30 or 4>Q, and bring a reproach upon
my whole plantation. Nay, and more than that,
some of them in revenge would murder me, if ever it
was in their power."
" Sir," says I, " if those fellows are not kept under
by violence, I believe you are satisfied nothing is to
be done with them ; and it is reported in your works
that I have been rather their jest than their terror,
for want of using them as they deserve ; and I was
resolved, how much soever it is against my own dis
position, that your service should not suffer for my
unseasonable forbearance ; and therefore, if I had
scourged him to death " "Hold," says he;
*' no, no, by no means any such severity in my
bounds. Remember, young man; you were once a
servant. Deal as you would acknowledge it would
be just to deal with you in his case, and mingle
always some mercy. I desire it, and let the conse
quence of being too gentle be placed to my account."
This was as much as I could desire, and the more
because what passed was in public, and several, both
negroes and white servants, as well as the particular
persons who had accused me, heard it all, though I
did not know it. " A cruel dog of an overseer,"
says one of the white servants behind ; " he would
have whipped poor bullet-head " so they called
the negro that was to be punished "to death if
his honour had not happened to come to-day."
[202J
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
However, I urged the notorious crime this fellow
was guilty of, and the danger there was in such for
bearance, from the refractory and incorrigible temper
of the negroes, and pressed a little the necessity of
making examples. But he said, Well, well, do it
the next time, but not now ; " so I said no more.
The other fellow's crime was trifling compared
with this ; and the master went forward, talking of
it to me, and I following him, till we came to the
house ; when, after he had been sat down a while,
he called me to him, and, not suffering my accusers
to come near till he had heard my defence, he began
with me thus :
Mast. Hark ye, young man, I must have some
discourse with you. Your conduct is complained of
since I set you over this plantation. I thought your
sense of the obligation I had laid on you would have
secured your diligence and faithfulness to me.
Jacque. I am very sorry any complaint should be
made of me, because the obligation I am under to
your honour (and which I freely confess) does bind
me to your interest in the strongest manner imagin
able ; and, however I may have mistaken my busi
ness, I am sure I have not willingly neglected it.
Mast. Well, I shall not condemn you without
hearing you, and therefore I called you in now to
tell you of it.
Jacque. I humbly thank your honour. I have
[203]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
but one petition more, and that is, that I may know
my accusation ; and, if you please, my accusers.
Mast. The first you shall, and that is the reason
of my talking to you in private ; and if there is any
need of a further hearing, you shall know your ac
cusers too. What you are charged with is just
contrary to what appeared to me just now, and
therefore you and I must come to a new understand
ing about it, for I thought I was too cunning for you,
and now I think you have been too cunning for me.
Jacque. I hope your honour will not be offended
that I do not fully understand you.
Mast. I believe you do not. Come, tell me
honestly, did you really intend to whip the poor
negro twice a day for four days together ; that is to
say, to whip him to death, for that would have been
the English of it, and the end of it ?
Jacque. If I may be permitted to guess, sir, I
believe I know the charge that is brought against
me, and that your honour has been told that I have
been too gentle with the negroes, as well as other
servants ; and that when they deserved to be used
with the accustomed severity of the country, I have
not given them half enough ; and that by this means
they are careless of your business, and that your
plantation is not well looked after, and the like.
Mast. Well, you guess right. Go on.
Jacque. The first part of the charge I confess, but
[204]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
the last I deny, and appeal to your honour's strictest
examination into every part of it.
Mast. If the last part could be true, I would be
glad the first were ; for it would be an infinite satis
faction to me that, my business not being neglected,
nor our safety endangered, those poor wretches could
be used with more humanity ; for cruelty is the aver
sion of my nature, and it is the only uncomfortable
thing that attends me in all my prosperity.
Jacque. I freely acknowledge, sir, that at first it
was impossible for me to bring myself to that terrible
work. How could I, that was but just come out of
the terror of it myself, and had but the day before
been a poor naked, miserable servant myself, and
might be to-morrow reduced to the same condition
again ; how could I use this terrible weapon l on the
naked flesh of my fellow-servants, as well as fellow-
creatures? At least, sir, when my duty made it
absolutely necessary, I could not do it without the
utmost horror. I beseech you, pardon me if I have
such a tenderness in my nature, that though I might
be fit to be your servant, I am incapable of being
an executioner, having been an offender myself.
Mast. Well, but how, then, can my business be
done ? And how will this terrible obstinacy of the
negroes, who, they tell me, can be no otherwise
1 Here he showed him the horsewhip that was given him
with his new office.
[205]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUK
governed, be kept from neglect of their work, or even
insolence and rebellion ?
Jacque. This brings me, sir, to the latter part of
my defence ; and here I hope your honour will be
pleased to call my accusers, or that you will give
yourself the trouble of taking the exactest view of
your plantation, and see, or let them show you, if
anything is neglected, if your business has suffered in
anything, or if your negroes or other servants are
under less government than they were before ; and
if, on the contrary, I have found out that happy secret,
to have good order kept, the business of the plan
tation done, and that with diligence and despatch, and
that the negroes are kept in awe, the natural temper
of them subjected, and the safety and peace of your
family secured, as well by gentle means as by rough,
by moderate correction as by torture and barbarity,
by a due awe of just discipline as by the horror of
unsufferable torments, I hope your honour will not
lay that sin to my charge.
Mast. No, indeed ; you would be the most accept
able manager that ever I employed. But how, then,
does this consist with the cruel sentence you had
passed on the poor fellow that is in your condemned
hole yonder, who was to be whipped eight times in
four days ?
Jacque. Very well, sir. First, sir, he remains under
the terrible apprehensions of a punishment so severe
[206]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
as no negro ever had before. This fellow, with your
leave, I intended to release to-morrow without any
whipping at all, after talking to him in my way about
his offence, and raising in his mind a sense of the
value of pardon. And if this makes him a better
servant than the severest whipping will do, then, I
presume, you would allow I have gained a point.
Mast. Ay ; but what if it should not be so ? For
these fellows have no sense of gratitude.
Jacque. That is, sir, because they are never par
doned. If they offend, they never know what mercy
is ; and what, then, have they to be grateful for ?
Mast. Thou art in the right indeed. Where there
is no mercy showed, there is no obligation laid upon
them.
Jacque. Besides, sir, if they have at any time been
let go, which is very seldom, they are not told what
the case is. They take no pains with them to im
print principles of gratitude on their minds, to tell
them what kindness is shown them, and what they
are indebted for it, and what they might gain in the
end by it.
Mast. But do you think such usage would do?
Would it make any impression ? You persuade your
self it would, but you see 't is against the received
notion of the whole country.
Jacque. There are, it may be, public and national
mistakes and errors in conduct, and this is one.
[207]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Mast. Have you tried it ? You cannot say it is a
mistake till you have tried and proved it to be so.
Jacque. Your whole plantation is a proof of it.
This very fellow had never acted as he did if he had
not gotten rum in his head, and been out of the
government of himself; so that, indeed, all the
offence I ought to have punished him for had been
that of stealing a bottle of rum and drinking it all
up ; in which case, like Noah, he did not know the
strength of it, and when he had it in his head he was
a madman, he was as one raging and distracted ; so
that, for all the rest, he deserved pity rather than
punishment.
Mast. Thou art right, certainly right, and thou
wilt be a rare fellow if thou canst bring these notions
into practice. I wish you had tried it upon any one
particular negro, that I might see an example. I
would give 500 if it could be brought to bear.
Jacque. I desire nothing, sir, but your favour, and
the advantage of obliging you. I will show you an
example of it among your own negroes, and all the
plantation will acknowledge it.
Mast. You make my very heart glad within me,
Jacque. If you can bring this to pass, I here give
you my word I '11 not only give you your own free
dom, but make a man of you for this world as long
as you live.
Upon this I bowed to him very respectfully, and
[208J
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
told him the following story : " There is a negro,
sir, in your plantation who has been your servant
several years before I came. He did a fault that
was of no great consequence in itself, but perhaps
would have been worse if they had indeed gone
further ; and I had him brought into the usual
place, and tied him by the thumbs for correction,
and he was told that he should be whipped and
pickled in a dreadful manner. After I had made
proper impressions on his mind of the terror of his
punishment, and found that he was sufficiently
humbled by it, I went into the house, and caused
him to be brought out, just as they do when they go
to correct the negroes on such occasions. When he
was stripped and tied up he had two lashes given
him, that was indeed very cruel ones, and I called to
them to hold. * Hold ! ' said I to the two men that
had just began to lay on upon the poor fellow :
'Hold !' said I, Met me talk with him.'
" So he was taken down. Then I began and
represented to him how kind you, that were his
great master, 1 had been to him ; that you had never
done him any harm ; that you had used him gently,
and he had never been brought to this punishment
in so many years, though he had done some faults
1 So the negroes call the owner of the plantation, or at least
so they called him, because he was a great man in the country)
having three or four large plantations.
TOL. i. 14 [ 209 ]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
before ; that this was a notorious offence, for he had
stolen some rum, and made himself and two other
negroes drunk-mad ; 1 and had abused two women
negroes, who had husbands in our master's service,
but in another plantation ; and played several pranks,
and for this I had appointed him this punishment.
" He shook his head, and made signs that he was
muchee sorree, as he called it. ' And what will you
say or do,' said I, * if I should prevail with the great
master to pardon you ? I have a mind to go and
see if I can beg for you.' He told me he would lie
down, let me kill him. * Me will,' says he, ' run, go,
fetch, bring for you as long as me live.' This was
the opportunity I had a mind to have, to try
whether, as negroes have all the other faculties of
reasonable creatures, they had not also some sense
of kindness, some principles of natural generosity,
which, in short, is the foundation of gratitude ; for
gratitude is the product of generous principles."
" You please me with the beginning of this story,"
says he ; "I hope you have carried it on."
" Yes, sir," says I ; "it has been carried on further
perhaps than you imagine, or will think has been
possible in such a case.
"But I was not so arrogant as to assume the
1 To be drunk in a negro is to be mad ; for when they get
rum they are worse than raving, and fit to do any manner of
mischief.
[210]
I
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
merit to myself. * No, no, 1 said I, * I do not ask you
to go or run for me ; you must do all that for our
great master, for it will be from him entirely that
you will be pardoned at all, for your offence is against
him; and what will you say ? Will you be grateful
to him, and run, go, fetch, bring, for him, as long
as you live, as you have said you would for me ? '
" ' Yes, indeed,' says he, ' and muchee do, muchee
do, for you too"'' (he would not leave me out) ; ' you
ask him for me. 1
" Well, I put off all his promised gratitude to me
from myself, as was my duty, and placed it to your
account ; told him I knew you was muchee good,
muchee pitiful, and I would persuade you if I could ;
and so told him I would go to you, and he should be
whipped no more till I came again ; but, * Hark ye,
Mouchat, 1 says I (that was the negro's name), * they
tell me, when I came hither, that there is no show
ing kindness to any of you negroes ; that when we
spare you from whipping you laugh at us, and are
the worse. 1
" He looked very serious at me, and said, ' Oh,
that not so ; the masters say so, but no be so, no be
so, indeede, indeede, 1 and so we parleyed.
Jacque. Why do they say so, then ? To be sure
they have tried you all.
Negro. No, no, they no try ; they say so, but no
try.
[211]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Jacque. I hear them all say so.
Negro. Me tell you the true; they have no mercie;
they beat us cruel, all cruel ; they never have show
mercie. How can they tell we be no better ?
Jacque. What ! do they never spare ?
Negro. Master, me speakee the true ; they never
give mercie; they always whippee, lashee, knockee
down, all cruel. Negro be muchee better man, do
muchee better work, but they tell us no mercie.
Jacque. But what, do they never show any
mercy ?
Negro. No, never ; no, never ; all whippee ; all
whippee, cruel, worse than they whippee de horse,
whippee de dog.
Jacque. But would they be better if they did ?
Negro. Yes, yes ; negro be muchee better if they
be mercie. When they be whippee, whippee, negro
muchee cry, muchee hate ; would kill if they had de
gun. But when they makee de mercie, then negro
tell de great tankee, and love to worke, and do
muchee worke ; and because he good master to
them.
Jacque. They say no ; you would laugh at them
and mock when they show mercy.
Negro. How they say when they show mercie?
They never show mercie ; me never see them show
one mercie since me live.
M Now, sir," said I, " if this be so, really they go,
[212]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
I dare say, contrary to your inclination, for I see you
are but too full of pity for the miserable. I saw it
in my own case ; and upon a presumption that you
had rather have your work done from a principle of
love than fear, without making your servants bleed
for every trifle, if it were possible ; I say, upon this
presumption I dealt with this Mouchat, as you shall
hear."
Mast. I have never met with anything of this
kind since I have been a planter, which is now about
forty years. I am delighted with the story. Go
on ; I expect a pleasant conclusion.
Jacque. The conclusion, sir, will be, I believe, as
much to your satisfaction as the beginning; for it
every way answered my expectation, and will yours
also, and show you how you might be faithfully
served if you pleased, for 't is certain you are not so
served now.
Mast. No, indeed ; they serve me but just as they
do the devil, for fear I should hurt them. But 't is
contrary to an ingenuous spirit to delight in such
service. I abhor it, if I could but know how to get
any other.
Jacque. It is easy, sir, to show you that you may
be served upon better principles, and consequently
be better served, and more to your satisfaction ; and
I dare undertake to convince you of it.
Mast. Well, go on with the story.
[213]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Jacque. After I had talked thus to him I said,
" Well, Mouchat, I shall see how you will be after
wards, if I can get our great master to be merciful
to you at this time.
" Negro. Yes, you shall see ; you muchee see,
muchee see.
" Upon this I called for my horse and went from
him, and made as if I rode away to you, who they told
me was in the next plantation ; and having stayed
four or five hours, I came back and talked to him
again, told him that I had waited on you, and that
you had heard of his offence, was highly provoked,
and had resolved to cause him to be severely punished
for an example to all the negroes in the plantation ;
but that I had told you how penitent he was, and
how good he would be if you would pardon him ;
and had at last prevailed on you. That you had
told me what all people said of the negroes ; how,
that to show them mercy was to make them think
you were never in earnest with them, and that you
did but trifle and play with them. However, that
I had told you what he had said of himself, and
that it was not true of the negroes, and that the
white men said it, but that they could not know
because they did never show any mercy, and there
fore had never tried ; that I had persuaded you to
show mercy, to try whether kindness would prevail
as much as cruelty. ' And now, Mouchat/ said I,
[214]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
f you will be let go. Pray let our great master see
that I have said true.' So I ordered him to be un
tied, gave him a dram of rum out of my pocket-
bottle, and ordered them to give him some victuals.
" When the fellow was let loose, he came to me and
kneeled down to me, and took hold of my legs and of
my feet, and laid his head upon the ground, and
sobbed and cried like a child that had been cor
rected, but could not speak for his life ; and thus he
continued a long time. I would have taken him up,
but he would not rise ; but I cried as fast as he, for
I could not bear to see a poor wretch lie on the
ground to me, that was but a servant the other day
like himself. At last, but not till a quarter of an
hour, I made him get up, and then he spoke. * Me
muchee know good great master, muchee good you
master. No negro unthankful ; me die for them, do
me so muchee kind.'
"I dismissed him then, and bid him go to his
wife (for he was married), and not work that after
noon ; but as he was going away I called him again,
and talked thus to him.
" * Now, Mouchat,' says I, < you see the white men
can show mercy. Now you must tell all the negroes
what has been reported of them ; that they regard
nothing but the whip ; that if they are used gently
they are the worse, not the better ; and that this is
the reason why the white men show them no mercy ;
[215]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
and convince them that they would be much better
treated and used kindlier if they would show them
selves as grateful for kind usage as humble after
torment ; and see if you can work on them. 1
" * Me go, me go," says he ; * me muchee talk to
them. They be muchee glad as me be, and do great
work to be used kind by de great master.' "
Mast. Well, but now what testimony have you
of this gratitude you speak of ? Have you seen any
alteration among them ?
Jacque. I come next to that part, sir. About a
month after this I caused a report to be spread
abroad in the plantation that I had offended you,
the great master, and that I was turned out of the
plantation, and was to be hanged. Your honour
knows that some time ago you sent me upon your
particular business into Potuxent River, where I was
absent twelve days ; then I took the opportunity to
have this report spread about among the negroes, to
see how it would work.
Mast. What ! to see how Mouchat would take it ?
Jacque. Yes, sir ; and it made a discovery indeed.
The poor fellow did not believe it presently, but
finding I was still absent, he went to the head-clerk,
and standing at his door, said nothing, but looked
like a fool of ten years old. After some time the
upper overseer came out, and seeing him stand there,
at first said nothing, supposing he had been sent of
[216]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
some errand ; but observing him to stand stock-still,
and that he was in the same posture and place during
the time that he had passed and repassed two or
three times, he stops short the last time of his com
ing by. " What do you want," says he to him,
** that you stand idle here so long ? "
*' * Me speakee ; me tell something,' says he.
"Then the overseer thought some discovery was
at hand, and began to listen to him. ' What would
you tell me? 1 says he.
" * Me tell ! Pray,"* says he, * where be de other
master ? '
" He meant he would ask where he was. * What
other master do you mean ? ' says the clerk. ' What !
do you want to speak with the great master ? He
can't be spoke with by you. Pray what is your
business ? Cannot you tell it to me ? '
" * No, no ; me no speakee the great master the
other master, 1 says Mouchat.
" * What ! the colonel ? ' says the clerk.
" * Yes, yes ; the colonel,' says he.
" * Why, don't you know that he is to be hanged
to-morrow,' says the clerk, 'for making the great
master angry ? ' 1
" * Yes, yes,' says Mouchat ; * me know, me know ;
but me want speak ; me tell something.'
1 He understood the plot, and took the opportunity to tell
him that, to see what he would say.
[217]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
" * Well, what would you say ? ' says the clerk.
" * Oh ! me no let him makee de great master
angry. 1 With that he kneeled down to the clerk.
" ' What ails you ? ' says the clerk. * I tell you he
must be hanged.'
" * No, no,' says he ; * no hang de master. Me
kneel for him to great master.'
** * You kneel for him ! ' says the clerk. 1 * What !
do you think the great master will mind you ? He
has made the great master angry, and must be
hanged, I tell you. What signifies your begging ? '
"Negro. Oh ! me pray, me pray the great master
for him.
" Clerk. Why, what ails you that you would pray
for him ?
" Negro. Oh ! he beggee the great master for me ;
now me beggee for him. The great master muchee
good, muchee good ; he pardon me when the other
master beggee me ; now he pardon him when me
beggee for him again.
"Clerk. No, no; your begging won't do. Will
you be hanged for him ? If you do that, something
may be.
" Negro. Yes, yes ; me be hang for de poor master
that beggee for me. Mouchat shall hang ; the great
master shall hangee me, whippee me; anything to
1 He understood him ; he meant he would beg your honour
for me, that I might not be hanged for offending you.
[218]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
save the poor master that beggee me; yes, yes,
indeed.
" Clerk. Are you in earnest, Mouchat ?
" Negro. Yes, indeed ; me tellee de true. The
great master shall know me tellee de true, for he
shall see the white man hangee me, Mouchat. Poor
negro Mouchat will be hangee, be whippee, anything
for the poor master that beggee for me.
" With this the poor fellow cried most pitifully,
and there was no room to question his being in
earnest; when on a sudden I appeared, for I was
fetched to see all this transaction. I was not in the
house at first, but was just come home from the
business you sent me of, and heard it all ; and in
deed neither the clerk or I could bear it any longer,
so he came out to me. * Go to him, 1 says he ; * you
have made an example that will never be forgot,
that a negro can be grateful. Go to him,' adds he,
'for I can talk to him no longer.' So I appeared,
and spoke to him presently, and let him see that I
was at liberty ; but to hear how the poor fellow be
haved your honour cannot but be pleased."
Mast. Prithee go on. I am pleased with it all ;
'tis all a new scene of negro life to me, and very
moving.
Jacque. For a good while he stood as if he had
been thunderstruck and stupid ; but, looking steadily
at me, though not speaking a word, at last he mutters
[219]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
to himself, with a kind of laugh, "Ay, ay," says he,
" Mouchat see, Mouchat no see ; me wakee, me no
wakee ; no hangee, no hangee ; he live truly, very
live ; " and then on a sudden he runs to me, snatches
me away as if I had been a boy of ten years old, and
takes me up upon his back and runs away with me,
till I was fain to cry out to him to stop. Then he
sets me down, and looks at me again, then falls a-
dancing about me as if he had been bewitched, just
as you have seen them do about their wives and
children when they are merry.
" Well, then, he began to talk with me, and told
me what they had said to him, how I was to be
hanged. * Well,' says I, * Mouchat, and would you
have been satisfied to be hanged to save me ? ' * Yes,
yes, 1 says he ; * be truly hangee, to beggee you.'
" * But why do you love me so well, Mouchat ? '
said I.
" * Did you no beggee me,' he says, * at the great
master ? You savee me, make great master muchee
good, muchee kind, no whippee me ; me no forget ;
me be whipped, be hanged, that you no be hanged ;
me die, that you no die ; me no let any bad be with
you all while that me live.'
" Now, sir, your honour may judge whether kind
ness, well managed, would not oblige these people as
well as cruelty, and whether there are principles of
gratitude in them or no."
[220]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Mast. But what, then, can be the reason that we
never believed it to be so before ?
Jacque. Truly, sir, I fear that Mouchat gave the
true reason.
Mast. What was that, pray ? That we were too
cruel ?
Jacque. That they never had any mercy showed
them ; that we never tried them whether they would
be grateful or no ; that if they did a fault they were
never spared, but punished with the utmost cruelty ;
so that they had no passion, no affection, to act upon
but that of fear, which necessarily brought hatred
with it ; but that if they were used with compassion
they would serve with affection as well as other ser
vants. Nature is the same, and reason governs in
just proportions in all creatures ; but having never
been let taste what mercy is, they know not how to
act from a principle of love.
Mast. I am convinced it is so. But now, pray tell
me, how did you put this in practice with the poor
negroes now in bonds yonder, when you passed such
a cruel sentence upon them that they should be
whipped twice a day, for four days together ? Was
that showing mercy ?
Jacque. My method was just the same ; and if you
please to inquire of Mr. , your other servant, you
will be satisfied that it was so ; for we agreed upon
the same measures as I took with Mouchat ; namely,
[221]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
first to put them into the utmost horror and appre
hensions of the cruellest punishment that they ever
heard of, and thereby enhance the value of their
pardon, which was to come as from yourself, but not
without our great intercession. Then I was to
argue with them, and work upon their reason, to
make the mercy that was showed them sink deep
into their minds and give lasting impressions ; ex
plain the meaning of gratitude to them, and the
nature of an obligation, and the like, as I had done
with Mouchat.
Mast. I am answered. Your method is certainly
right, and I desire you may go on with it ; for I de
sire nothing on this side heaven more than to have
all my negroes serve me from principles of gratitude
for my kindness to them. I abhor to be feared like
a lion, like a tyrant. It is a violence upon nature
every way, and is the most disagreeable thing in the
world to a generous mind.
Jacque. But, sir, I am doubtful that you may not
believe that I intended to act thus with those poor
fellows. I beseech you to send for Mr. , that
he may tell you what we had agreed on before I
speak with him.
Mast. What reason have I to doubt that ?
Jacque. I hope you have not ; but I should be very
sorry you should think me capable of executing such
a sentence as you have heard me own I had passed on
[222]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
them, and there can be no way effectually to clear it
up but this.
Mast. Well, seeing you put so much weight upon
it, he shall be called for.
[He was called, and being ordered by the master
to tell the measures that were concerted between
them for the punishment or management of those
negroes, he gave it just as Jacque had done before.]
Jacque. I hope, sir, you are now not only satisfied
of the truth of the account I gave relating to the
method we had agreed on, but of its being so proper
and so likely to answer your end.
Mast. I am fully satisfied, and shall be glad to see
that it answers the end ; for, as I have said, nothing
can be more agreeable to me. Nothing has so much
robbed me of the comfort of all my fortunes as the
cruelty used, in my name, on the bodies of those poor
slaves.
Jacque. It is certainly wrong, sir ; it is not only
wrong as it is barbarous and cruel ; but it is wrong,
too, as it is the worst way of managing and of having
your business done.
Mast. It is my aversion ; it fills my very soul with
horror. I believe if I should come by while they were
using those cruelties on the poor creatures, I should
either sink down at the sight of it or fly into a rage
and kill the fellow that did it ; though it is done,
too, by my own authority.
[223]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Jacque. But, sir, I dare say I shall convince you
also that it is wrong in respect of interest, and that
your business shall be better discharged and your
plantations better ordered, and more work done by
the negroes who shall be engaged by mercy and
lenity than by those who are driven and dragged by
the whips and the chains of a merciless tormentor.
Mast. I think the nature of the thing speaks
itself. Doubtless it should be so, and I have often
thought it would be so, and a thousand times wished
it might be so ; but all my English people pretend
otherwise, and that it is impossible to bring the
negroes to any sense of kindness, and consequently
not to any obedience of love.
Jacque. It may be true, sir, that there may be
found here and there a negro of a senseless, stupid,
sordid disposition, perfectly untractable, undocible,
and incapable of due impressions; especially incapa
ble of the generosity of principle which I am speak
ing of. You know very well, sir, there are such
among Christians as well as among the negroes ;
whence else came the English proverb, That if you
save a thief from the gallows, he shall be the first
to cut your throat. But, sir, if such a refractory,
undocible fellow comes in our way, he must be dealt
with, first by the smooth ways to try him, then by
the violent way to break his temper, as they break a
horse ; and if nothing will do, guqh a wretch should
[224]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
be sold off, and others bought in his room ; for the
peace of the plantation should not be broken for
one devilish-tempered fellow. And if this was done
I doubt not you should have all your plantations
carried on and your work done, and not a negro or
a servant upon it but what would not only work for
you, but even die for you, if there was an occasion
for it, as you see this poor Mouchat would have
done for me.
Mast. Well, go on with your measures, and may
you succeed. I "11 promise you I will fully make you
amends for it. I long to have these cruelties out of
use, in my plantation especially. As for others, let
them do as they will.
Our master being gone, I went to the prisoners,
and first I suffered them to be told that the great
master had been there, and that he had been inclined
to pardon them, till he knew what their crime was ;
but then he said it was so great a fault that it must
be punished. Besides, the man that talked to them
told them that the great master said that he knew
if he had pardoned them they would be but the
worse, for that the negroes were never thankful for
being spared, and that there were no other ways to
make them obedient but severity.
One of the poor fellows, more sensible than the
other, answered, if any negro be badder for being
kindly used,' they should be whipped till they were
VOL.I. 15 [225]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
muchee better; but that he never knew that, for
that he never knew the negro be kindly use.
This was the same thing as the other had said,
and indeed was but too true, for the overseers really
knew no such thing as mercy ; and that notion of
the negroes being no other way to be governed but
by cruelty had been the occasion that no other
method was ever tried among them.
Again, if a slack hand had at any time been held
upon them, it had not been done with discretion, or
as a point of mercy, and managed with the assistance
of argument to convince the negroes of the nature
and reason of it, and to show them what they ought
to do in return for it ; but it was perhaps the effect
of negligence, ill conduct, and want of application
to the business of the plantation ; and then it was
no wonder that the negroes took the advantage of
it
Well, I carried on the affair with these two
negroes just as I did with Mouchat, so I need not
repeat the particulars ; and they were delivered with
infinite acknowledgments and thanks, even to all
the extravagances of joy usual in those people on
such occasions. And such was the gratitude of
those two pardoned fellows that they were the
most faithful and most diligent servants ever after
that belonged to the whole plantation, Mouchat
exoepted.
[226]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
In this manner I carried on the plantation fully to
his satisfaction ; and before a year more was expired
there was scarce any such thing as correction known
in the plantation, except upon a few boys, who were
incapable of the impressions that good usage would
have made, even upon them too, till they had lived
to know the difference.
It was some time after this conference that our
great master, as we called him, sent for me again to
his dwelling-house, and told me he had had an
answer from England from his friend, to whom he
had written about my bill. I was a little afraid that
he was going to ask me leave to send it to London ;
but he did not say anything like that, but told me
that his friend had been with the gentleman, and
that he owned the bill, and that he had all the money
in his hand that the bill had mentioned ; but that
he had promised the young man that had given him
the money (meaning me) not to pay the money to
anybody but himself, though they should bring the
bill ; the reason of which was, that I did not know
who might get the bill away from me.
" But now, Colonel Jacque," says he, " as you
wrote him an account where you was, and by what
wicked arts you were trepanned, and that it was
impossible for you to have your liberty till you could
get the money, my friend at London has written to
me, that, upon making out a due copy of the bill
[227]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
here, attested by a notary and sent to him, and your
obligation likewise attested, whereby you oblige
yourself to deliver the original to his order after the
money is paid, he will pay the money."
I told him I was willing to do whatever his honour
directed ; and so the proper copies were drawn as I
had been told were required.
" But now, what will you do with this money,
Jacque ? " says he, smiling. " Will you buy your
liberty of me, and go to planting ? "
I was too cunning for him now indeed, for I re
membered what he had promised me ; and I had too
much knowledge of the honesty of his principles, as
well as of the kindness he had for me, to doubt his be
ing as good as his word ; so I turned all this talk of his
upon him another way. I knew that when he asked
me if I would buy my liberty and go to planting, it
was to try if I would leave him ; so I said, " As to
buying my liberty, sir that is to say, going out of
your service I had much rather buy more time in
your service, and I am only unhappy that I have but
two years to serve."
" Come, come, colonel," says he, " don't flatter me ;
I love plain dealing. Liberty is precious to every
body ; if you have a mind to have your money
brought over, you shall have your liberty to begin
for yourself, and I will take care you shall be well
used by the country, and get you a good plantation."
[228]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
I still insisted that I would not quit his service for
the best plantation in Maryland ; that he had been
so good to me, and I believed I was so useful to him,
that I could not think of it ; and at last I added I
hoped he could not believe but I had as much grati
tude as a negro.
He smiled, and said he would not be served upon
those terms ; that he did not forget what he had
promised, nor what I had done in his plantation ;
and that he was resolved in the first place to give me
my liberty. So he pulls out a piece of paper, and
throws it to me : " There," says he, " there 's a
certificate of your coming on shore, and being sold
to me for five years, of which you have lived three
with me ; and now you are your own master." I
bowed, and told him that I was sure, if I was my own
master, I would be his servant as long as he would
accept of my service. And now we strained courte
sies, and he told me I should be his servant still ; but
it should be on two conditions: first, that he would
give me 30 a year and my board for my manag
ing the plantation I was then employed in ; and,
secondly, that at the same time he would procure
me a new plantation to begin upon my own account,
"For, Colonel Jacque," says he, smiling, "though
you are but a young man, yet 'tis time you were
doing something for yourself."
I answered that I could do little at a plantation
[229]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
for myself, unless I neglected his business, which I
was resolved not to do on any terms whatever, but
that I would serve him faithfully, if he would accept
of me, as long as he lived. " So you shall," says he
again, " and serve yourself too." And thus we
parted for that time.
Here I am to observe in the general, to avoid
dwelling too long upon a story, that as the two
negroes who I delivered from punishment were ever
after the most diligent and laborious poor fellows in
the whole plantation as above, except Mouchat, of
whom I shall speak more by-and-by, so they not
only were grateful themselves for their good usage,
but they influenced the whole plantation ; so that
the gentle usage and lenity with which they had
been treated had a thousand times more influence
upon them to make them diligent than all the blows
and kicks, whippings, and other tortures could have
which they had been used to. And now the planta
tion was famous for it ; so that several other planters
began to do the same, though I cannot say it was
with the same success, which might be for want of
taking pains with them and working upon their pas
sions in a right manner. It appeared that negroes
were to be reasoned into things as well as other
people, and it was by thus managing their reason /
that most of the work was done.
However, as it was, the plantations in Maryland
[230J
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
were the better for this undertaking, and they are to
this day less cruel and barbarous to their negroes
than they are in Barbados and Jamaica ; and t' is
observed the negroes are not in these colonies so
desperate, neither do they so often run away or so
often plot mischief against their master, as they
do in those.
I have dwelt the longer upon it that, if possible,
posterity might be persuaded to try gentler methods
with those miserable creatures, and to use them
with humanity ; assuring them that if they did so,
adding the common prudence that every particular
case would direct them to for itself, the negroes would
do their work faithfully and cheerfully ; they would
not find any of that refractoriness and sullenness in
their temper that they pretend now to complain
of, but they would be the same as their Christian
servants, except that they would be the more thank
ful, and humble, and laborious of the two.
I continued in this station between five and six
years after this, and in all that time we had not one
negro whipped, except, as I observed before, now
and then an unlucky boy, and that only for trifles.
I cannot say but we had some ill-natured, ungovern
able negroes ; but if at any time such offended, they
were pardoned the first time, in the manner as above,
and the second time were ordered to be turned out
of the plantation. And this was remarkable, that
[231]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUK
they would torment themselves at the apprehension
of being turned away, more by a great deal than if
they had been to be whipped, for then they were
only sullen and heavy. Nay, at length we found
the fear of being turned out of the plantation had
as much effect to reform them that is to say,
make them more diligent than any torture would
have done ; and the reason was evident, namely, be
cause in our plantation they were used like men, in
the other like dogs.
My master owned the satisfaction he took in this
blessed change, as he called it, as long as he lived ;
and as he was so engaged by seeing the negroes
grateful, he showed the same principle of gratitude
to those that served him as he looked for in those
that he served, and particularly to me ; and so I
come briefly to that part. The first thing he did
after giving me my liberty as above, and making me
an allowance, was to get the country bounty to me
that is to say, a quantity of land to begin and
plant for myself.
But this he managed a way by himself, and, as I
found afterwards, took up, that is, purchased in my
name, about three hundred acres of land, in a more
convenient place than it would have otherwise been
allotted me ; and this he did by his interest with the
lord proprietor ; so that I had an extent of ground
marked out to me, not next but very near one of his
[232]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
own plantations. When I made my acknowledg
ment for this to him, he told me plainly that I was
not beholden to him for it all ; for he did it that I
might not be obliged to neglect his business for the
carrying on my own, and on that account he would
not reckon to me what money he paid, which, how
ever, according to the custom of the country, was
not a very great sum I think about 40 or 50.
Thus he very generously gave me my liberty, ad
vanced this money for me, put me into a plantation
for myself, and gave me 30 a year wages for look
ing after one of his own plantations.
" But, Colonel," says he to me, " giving you this
plantation is nothing at all to you if I do not assist
you to support it and to carry it on, and therefore I
will give you credit for whatever is needful to you
for the carrying it on ; such as tools, provisions for
servants, and some servants to begin ; materials to
build out-houses, and conveniences of all sorts for
the plantation, and to buy hogs, cows, horses for
stock, and the like; and 111 take it out of your
cargo, which will come from London, for the money
of your bill.""
This was highly obliging and very kind, and the
more so, as it afterwards appeared. In order to this
he sent two servants of his own who were carpenters.
As for timber, boards, planks, and all sorts of such
things, in a country almost all made of wood they
[233]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
could not be wanting. These run me up a little
wooden house in less than three weeks' time, where I
had three rooms, a kitchen, an out-house, and two
large sheds at a distance from the house for store
houses, almost like barns, with stables at the end of
them ; and thus I was set up in the world, and, in
short, removed by the degrees that you have heard
from a pickpocket to a kidnapped, miserable slave in
Virginia (for Maryland is Virginia, speaking of them
at a distance) ; then from a slave to a head-officer or
overseer of slaves, and from thence to a master-
planter.
I had now, as above, a house, a stable, two ware
houses, and three hundred acres of land ; but, as we
say, bare walls make giddy hussies, so I had neither
axe nor hatchet to cut down the trees ; horse, nor
hog, nor cow to put upon the land ; not a hoe or a
spade to break ground, nor a pair of hands but my
own to go to work upon.
But Heaven and kind masters make up all those
things to a diligent servant ; and I mention it be
cause people who are either transported or otherwise
trepanned into those places are generally thought to
be rendered miserable and undone ; whereas, on the
contrary, I would encourage them, upon my own ex
perience, to depend upon it, that if their own dili
gence in the time of service gains them but a good
character, which it will certainly do if they can de-
[234]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
serve it, there is not the poorest and most despicable
felon that ever went over but may, after his time is
served, begin for himself, and may in time be sure
of raising a good plantation.
For example, I will now take a man in the meanest
circumstances of a servant, who has served out his
five or seven years ; suppose a transported wretch for
seven years. The custom of the place was then
what it is since I know not that on his master's
certifying that he had served his time out faithfully,
he had fifty acres of land allotted him for planting,
and on this plan he begins.
Some had a horse, a cow, and three hogs given, or
rather lent, them, as a stock for the land, which they
made an allowance for at a certain time and rate.
Custom has made it a trade to give credit to such
beginners as these for tools, clothes, nails, ironwork,
and other things necessary for their planting, and
which the persons so giving credit to them are to be
paid for out of the crop of tobacco which they shall
plant. Nor is it in the debtor's power to defraud the
creditor of payment in that manner ; and as tobacco
is their coin as well as their product, so all things
are to be purchased at a certain quantity of tobacco,
the price being so rated.
Thus the naked planter has credit at his begin
ning, and immediately goes to work to cure the land
and plant tobacco ; and from this little beginning
[235]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
have some of the most considerable planters in
Virginia, and in Maryland also, raised themselves
namely, from being without a hat or a shoe to estates
of .40,000 or ^50,000 ; and in this method, I may
add, no diligent man ever miscarried, if he had health
to work and was a good husband ; for he every year
increases a little, and every year adding more land
and planting more tobacco, which is real money, he
must gradually increase in substance, till at length
he gets enough to buy negroes and other servants,
and then never works himself any more.
In a word, every Newgate wretch, every desperate
forlorn creature, the most despicable ruined man in
the world, has here a fair opportunity put into his
hands to begin the world again, and that upon a
foot of certain gain and in a method exactly honest,
with a reputation that nothing past will have any
effect upon ; and innumerable people have raised
themselves from the worst circumstances in the world
namely, from the cells in Newgate.
But I return to my own story. I was now a
planter, and encouraged by a kind benefactor ; for,
that I might not be wholly taken up with my new
plantation, he gave me freely, and without any con
sideration, my grateful negro, Mouchat. He told
me it was a debt due to the affection that poor crea
ture had always had for me ; and so indeed it was,
for as the fellow would once have been hanged for
[236]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
me, so now, and to his last, he loved me so much
that it was apparent he did everything with pleasure
that he did for me ; and he was so overcome of joy
when he heard that he was to be my negro that
the people in the plantation really thought it
would turn his head, and that the fellow would go
distracted.
Besides this, he sent me two servants more, a man
and a woman, but these he put to my account, as
above. Mouchat and these two fell immediately to
work for me, and they began with about two acres
of land which had but little timber on it at first, and
most of that was cut down by the two carpenters
who built my house, or shed rather, for so it should
be called.
These two acres I got in good forwardness, and
most of it well planted with tobacco ; though some
of it we were obliged to plant with garden-stuff
for food, such as potatoes, carrots, cabbages, peas,
beans, &c.
It was a great advantage to me that I had so boun
tiful a master, who helped me out in every case ; for
in this very first year I received a terrible blow. For
my bill, as I have observed, having been copied and
attested in form, and sent to London, my kind friend
and custom-house gentleman paid me the money, and
the merchant at London, by my good master's direc
tion, had laid it all out in a sorted cargo of goods
[237]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
for me, such as would have made a man of me all at
once ; but, to my inexpressible terror and surprise,
the ship was lost, and that just at the entrance into
the capes ; that is to say, the mouth of the bay.
Some of the goods were recovered, but spoiled ; and,
in short, nothing but the nails, tools, and ironwork
were good for anything; and though the value of
them was pretty considerable in proportion to the
rest, yet my loss was irreparably great, and indeed
the greatness of the loss to me consisted in its being
irreparable.
I was perfectly astonished at the first news of the
loss, knowing that I was in debt to my patron, or
master, so much that it must be several years before
I should recover it ; and as he brought me the bad
news himself, he perceived my disorder; that is to
say, he saw I was in the utmost confusion and a kind
of amazement ; and so indeed I was, because I was
so much in debt. But he spoke cheerfully to me.
" Come," says he, " do not be so discouraged ; you
may make up this loss." " No, sir," says I ; " that
never can be, for it is my all, and I shall never be
out of debt." " Well, but," says he, " you have no
creditor, however, but me ; and now I remember I
once told you I would make a man of you, and I will
not disappoint you for this disaster."
I thanked him, and did it with more ceremony
and respect than ever, because I thought myself more
[238J
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
under the hatches than I was before. But he was as
good as his word, for he did not baulk me in the least
of anything I wanted ; and as I had more ironwork
saved out of the ship, in proportion, than I wanted,
I supplied him with some part of it, and took up
some linen and clothes and other necessaries from
him in exchange.
And now I began to increase visibly. I had a
large quantity of land cured that is, freed from
timber and a very good crop of tobacco in view.
And I got three servants more and one negro, so that
I had five white servants and two negroes, and with
this my affairs went very well on.
The first year, indeed, I took my wages, or salary
that is to say, 30 a year because I wanted it
very much ; but the second and third year I resolved
not to take it on any account whatsoever, but to leave
it in my benefactor's hands to clear off the debt I
had contracted.
And now I must impose a short digression on the
reader, to note that notwithstanding all the disad
vantages of a most wretched education, yet now,
when I began to feel myself, as I may say, in the
world, and to be arrived to an independent state, and
to foresee that I might be something considerable in
time ; I say, now I found different sentiments of
things taking place in my mind. And, first, I had a
solid principle of justice and honesty, and a secret
[239]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
horror at things past, when I looked back upon my
former life. That original something I knew not
what that used formerly to check me in the first
meannesses of my youth, and used to dictate to me
when I was but a child that I was to be a gentleman,
continued to operate upon me now in a manner I
cannot describe ; and I continually remembered the
words of the ancient glassmaker to the gentleman
that he reproved for swearing, that to be a gentle
man was to be an honest man ; that without honesty
human nature was sunk and degenerated ; the gentle
man lost all the dignity of his birth, and placed him
self even below an honest beggar. These principles,
growing upon my mind in the present circumstances
I was in, gave me a secret satisfaction that I can
give no description of. It was an inexpressible joy to
me that I was now like to be, not only a man, but
an honest man ; and it yielded me a greater pleasure
that I was ransomed from being a vagabond, a thief,
and a criminal, as I had been from a child, than that
I was delivered from slavery and the wretched state
of a Virginia sold servant. I had notion enough in
my mind of the hardships of the servant, or slave,
because I had felt it and worked through it ; I re
membered it as a state of labour and servitude, hard
ship and suffering. But the other shocked my very
nature, chilled my blood, and turned the very soul
within me; the thought of it was like reflections
[240]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
upon hell and the damned spirits ; it struck me with
horror, it was odious and frightful to look back on,
and it gave me a kind of a fit, a convulsion or nerv
ous disorder, that was very uneasy to me.
But to look forward, to reflect how things were
changed, how happy I was that I could live by my
own endeavours, and was no more under the necessity
of being a villain, and of getting my bread at my
own hazard and the ruin of honest families this
had in it something more than commonly pleasing
and agreeable, and, in particular, it had a pleasure
that till then I had known nothing of. It was a sad
thing to be under a necessity of doing evil to pro
cure that subsistence which I could not support the
want of, to be obliged to run the venture of the gal
lows rather than the venture of starving, and to be
always wicked for fear of want.
I cannot say that I had any serious religious reflec
tions, or that these things proceeded yet from the
uneasiness of conscience, but from mere reasonings
with myself, and from being arrived to a capacity of
making a right judgment of things more than before.
Yet I own I had such an abhorrence of the wicked
life I had led that I was secretly easy, and had a kind
of pleasure in the disaster that was upon me about
the ship, and that, though it was a loss, I could not
but be glad that those ill-gotten goods was gone, and
that I had lost what I had stolen. For I looked on
VOL. I. 16 [ 241 ]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
it as none of mine, and that it would be fire in my
flax if I should mingle it with what I had now,
which was come honestly by, and was, as it were,
sent from heaven to lay the foundation of my pros
perity, which the other would be only as a moth to
consume.
At the same time my thoughts dictated to me,
that though this was the foundation of my new life,
yet that this was not the superstructure, and that I
might still be born for greater things than these ;
that it was honesty and virtue alone that made men
rich and great, and gave them a fame as well as a
figure in the world, and that therefore I was to lay
my foundation in these, and expect what might
follow in time.
To help these thoughts, as I had learned to read
and write when I was in Scotland, so I began now to
love books, and particularly I had an opportunity of
reading some very considerable ones, such as Livy's
Roman History, the history of the Turks, the English
History of Speed, and others ; the history of the
Low Country wars, the history of Gustavus Adolphus,
king of Sweden, and the history of the Spaniards'
conquest of Mexico, with several others, some of
which I 'bought at a planter's house who was lately
dead and his goods sold, and others I had borrowed.
I considered my present state of life to be my mere
youth, though I was now above thirty years old, be-
[242]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
cause in my youth I had learned nothing ; and if my
daily business, which was now great, would have per
mitted, I would have been content to have gone to
school. However, fate, that had yet something else
in store for me, threw an opportunity into my hand ;
namely, a clever fellow that came over a transported
felon from Bristol, and fell into my hands for a
servant. He had led a loose life ; that he acknowl
edged ; and being driven to extremities, took to the
highway, for which, had he been taken, he would
have been hanged. But falling into some low-
prized rogueries afterwards, for want of opportunity
for worse, was catched, condemned, and transported,
and, as he said, was glad he came off so.
He was an excellent scholar, and I, perceiving it,
asked him one time if he could give a method how
I might learn the Latin tongue. He said, smiling,
Yes ; he could teach it me in three months, if I
would let him have books, or even without books, if
he had time. I told him a book would become his
hands better than a hoe ; and if he could promise to
make me but understand Latin enough to read it,
and understand other languages by it, I would ease
him of the labour which I was now obliged to put
him to, especially if I was assured that he was fit
to receive that favour of a kind master. In short, I
made him to me what my benefactor made me to
him, and from him I gained a fund of knowledge
[243]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
infinitely more valuable than the rate of a slave, which
was what I had paid for it ; but of this hereafter.
With these thoughts I went cheerfully about my
work. As I had now five servants, my plantation
went on, though gently, yet safely, and increased
gradually, though slowly. But the third year, with
the assistance of my old benefactor, I purchased two
negroes more, so that now I had seven servants ; and
having cured land sufficient for supply of their food,
I was at no difficulty to maintain them ; so that my
plantation began now to enlarge itself, and as Hived
without any personal expense, but was maintained
at my old great master's, as we called him, and at his
charge, with ^30 a year besides, so all my gains was
laid up for increase.
In this posture I went on for twelve years, and was
very successful in my plantation, and had gotten, by
means of my master's favour, who now I called my
friend, a correspondent in London, with whom I
traded, shipped over my tobacco to him, and received
European goods in return, such as I wanted to carry on
my plantation, and sufficient to sell to others also.
In this interval my good friend and benefactor
died, and I was left very disconsolate on account of
my loss ; for it was indeed a great loss to me. He
had been a father to me, and I was like a forsaken
stranger without him, though I knew the country,
and the trade too, well enough, and had for some
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
time chiefly carried on his whole business for him.
Yet I seemed now at a loss ; my counsellor arid my
chief supporter was gone, and I had no confidant to
communicate myself to, on all occasions, as formerly ;
but there was no remedy. I was, however, in a
better condition to stand alone than ever. I had a
very large plantation, and had near seventy negroes
and other servants. In a word, I was grown really
rich, considering my first circumstances, that began as
I may say with nothing ; that is to say, I had nothing
of stock, but I had a great beginning, for I had such
a man's friendship and support in my beginning,
that indeed I needed no other stock ; and if I had
had 500 to have begun with, and not the assist
ance, advice, and countenance of such a man, I had
not been in a better condition. But he promised to
make a man of me ; and so he did, and in one re
spect I may say I have merited it of him, for I brought
his plantation into such order, and the government
of his negroes into such a regulation, that if he had
given 500 to have had it done, he would have
thought his money well bestowed. His work was
always in order, going forward to his mind ; every
thing was in a thriving posture; his servants all
loved him, even negroes and all, and yet there was
no such thing as a cruel punishment or severities
known among them.
In my own plantation it was the same thing. I
[245]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
wrought so upon the reason and the affections of my
negroes that they served me cheerfully, and, by con
sequence, faithfully and diligently ; when in my
neighbour's plantation there was not a week hardly
passed without such horrible outcries, roarings and
yellings of the servants, either under torture or in
fear of it, that their negroes would, in discourse with
ours, wish themselves dead and gone, as it seems
they believed they should after death, into their own
country.
If I met with a sullen, stupid fellow, as sometimes
it was unavoidable, I always parted with him and
sold him off; for I would not keep any that sense of
kind usage would riot oblige. But I seldom met
with such bad ones ; for, by talking to them in a
plain reasoning way, I found the temper of the
roughest of them would break and soften. The
sense of their own interest would prevail with them
at first or last ; and if it had not, the contrary tem
per was so general among my people that their own
fellows and countrymen would be against them,
and that served to bring them to reason as soon as
any other thing. And this those who think it
worth their while will easily find, viz., that having
prevailed effectually over one leading man among
them to be tractable, and pleased, and grateful, he
shall make them all like him, and that in a little
while, with more ease than can be imagined.
[246]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
I was now a planter, and also a student. My
pedagogue I mentioned above was very diligent, and
proved an extraordinary man indeed. He taught
me not only with application, but with admirable
judgment in the teaching part ; for I have seen it in
many instances since that time that every good
scholar is not fitted for a schoolmaster, and that the
art of teaching is quite different from that of knowing
the language taught.
But this man had both, and proved of great use
to me, and I found reason, in the worth of the per
son, to be very kind to him, his circumstances con
sidered. I once took the liberty to ask him how it
came to pass that he, who must have had a liberal
education and great advantages to have advanced
him in the world, should be capable of falling into
such miserable circumstances as he was in when he
came over. I used some caution in entering upon
an inquiry which, as I said, might not be pleasant
to him to relate, but that I would make him amends
by telling him, that if he desired not to enter into
it with me, I would readily excuse him, and would
not take it ill at all. This I did because to a man
under such afflictions one should always be tender,
and not put them upon relating anything of them
selves which was grievous to them or which they had
rather was concealed.
But he told me that it was true, that to look back
[247]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
upon his past life was indeed renovare dolorem , but
that such mortifications were now useful to him^ to
help forward that repentance which he hoped he
was sincerely entered upon ; and that though it was
with horror he looked back upon misspent time
and ill-applied gifts which a bountiful Creator had
blessed him with, and spared to him for a better
improvement, yet he thought he ought to load him
self with as much of the shame as it pleased God to
make his lot, since he had already loaded himself
with the guilt in a shameless manner, till God, he
still hoped in mercy to him, had cut him short and
brought him to public disgrace ; though he could
not say he had been brought to justice, for then he
had been sent into eternity in despair, and not been
sent to Virginia to repent of the wickedest life that
ever man lived. He would have gone on, but I
found his speech interrupted by a passionate struggle
within, between his grief and his tears.
I took no more notice of it than to tell him that
I was sorry I had asked him about it, but that it was
my curiosity. When I saw that ignorant, untaught,
untractable creatures come into misery and shame, I
made no inquiry after their affairs ; but when I saw
men of parts and learning take such steps, I concluded
it must be occasioned by something exceeding wicked.
" So, indeed," said he, " the judge said to me when I
begged mercy of him in Latin. He told me that
[248 J
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
when a man with such learning falls into such crimes
he is more inexcusable than other men, because, his
learning recommending him, he could not want ad
vantages and had the less temptation to crimes."
" But, sir," said he, " I believe my case was what
I find is the case of most of the wicked part of the
world, viz., that to be reduced to necessity is to be
wicked; for necessity is not only the temptation,
but is such a temptation as human nature is not
empowered to resist. How good, then," says he,
" is that God which takes from you, sir, the temp
tation, by taking away the necessity ! "
I was so sensible of the truth of what he said,
knowing it by my own case, that I could not enter
any further upon the discourse; but he went on
voluntarily. " This, sir," says he, " I am so sensible
of that I think the case I am reduced to much less
miserable than the life which I lived before, because
I am delivered from the horrid necessity of doing
such ill things which was my ruin and disaster then,
even for my bread, and am not now obliged to ravish
my bread out of the mouths of others by violence
and disorder, but am fed, though I am made to earn
it by the hard labour of my hands, and I thank God
for the difference." He paused here, but went on
thus :
" How much is the life of a slave in Virginia to be
preferred to that of the most prosperous thief in the
[249]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
world ! Here I live miserable, but honest ; suffer
wrong, but do no wrong ; my body is punished, but
my conscience is not loaded ; and as I used to say
that I had no leisure to look in, but I would begin
when I had some recess, some time to spare, now
God has found me leisure to repent. 11 He run on in
this manner a great while, giving thanks, I believe
most heartily, for his being delivered from the
wretched life he had lived, though his misery were
to be tenfold as much as it was.
I was sincerely touched with his discourse on this
subject. I had known so much of the real difference
of the case that I could not but be affected with it,
though till now, I confess, I knew little of the re
ligious part. I had been an offender as well as he,
though not altogether in the same degree, but I
knew nothing of the penitence ; neither had I
looked back upon anything as a crime, but as a
life dishonourable and not like a gentleman, which
run much in my thoughts, as I have several times
mentioned.
"Well, but now, 11 says I, "you talk penitently,
and I hope you are sincere ; but what would be
your case if you were delivered from the miserable
condition of a slave sold for money, which you are
now in ? Should you not, think you, be the same
man? 11
" Blessed be God, 11 says he, " that, if I thought I
[250]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
should, I would sincerely pray that I might not
be delivered, and that I might for ever be a slave
rather than a sinner."
" Well, but," says I, " suppose you to be under
the same necessity, in the same starving condition,
should you not take the same course ? "
He replied very sharply, " That shows us the need
we have of the petition in the Lord's prayer, * Lead
us not into temptation ; ' and of Solomon's or Agar's
prayer, * Give me not poverty, lest I steal. 1 I should
ever beg of God not to be left to such snares as
human nature cannot resist. But I have some hope,
that I should venture to starve rather than to steal ;
but I also beg to be delivered from the danger, be
cause I know not my own strength."
This was honestly spoken, indeed ; and there
really were such visible tokens of sincerity in all his
discourse that I could not suspect him. On some of
our discourses on this subject, he pulled out a little
dirty paper-book, in which he had wrote down such a
prayer in verse as I doubt few Christians in the
world could subscribe to ; and I cannot but record
it, because I never saw anything like it in my life.
The lines are as follow :
" Lord ! whatsoever sorrows rack my breast,
Till crime removes too, let me find no rest ;
How dark soe'er my state or sharp my pain,
Oh ! let not troubles cease and sin remain.
[251]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
For Jesus' sake remove not my distress,
Till free triumphant grace shall repossess
The vacant throne from whence my sins depart,
And make a willing captive of my heart ;
Till grace completely shall my soul subdue,
Thy conquest full and my subjection true."
There were more lines on the same subject, but
these were the beginning ; and these touching me so
sensibly, I have remembered them distinctly ever
since, and have, I believe, repeated them to myself a
thousand times.
I pressed him no more, you may be sure, after an
answer so very particular and affecting as this was.
It was easy to see the man was a sincere penitent,
not sorrowing for the punishment he was suffering
under ; for his condition was no part of his affliction ;
he was rather thankful for it, as above ; but his con
cern was a feeling and affecting sense of the wicked
and abominable life he had led, the abhorred crimes
he had committed both against God and man, and
the little sense he had had of the condition he was
in, and that even till he came to the place where he
now was.
I asked him if he had no reflections of this kind
after or before his sentence. He told me Newgate
(for the prison at Bristol is called so, it seems, as
well as that at London) was a place that seldom
made penitents, but often made villains worse, till
they learnt to defy God and devil ; but that, how-
[252]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
ever, he could look back with this satisfaction, that
he could say he was not altogether insensible of it
even then ; but nothing that amounted to a thorough
serious looking up to heaven ; that he often indeed
looked in, and reflected upon his past misspent life,
even before he was in prison, when the intervals of
his wicked practices gave some time for reflection,
and he would sometimes say to himself, " Whither
am I going? to what will all these things bring me
at last ? and where will they end ? Sin and shame
follow one another, and I shall certainly come to
the gallows. Then," said he, " I would strike upon
my breast, and say, * O wicked wretch ! when will
you repent ? ' and would answer myself as often,
* Never ! never ! never ! except it be in a gaol or at
a gibbet.'
" Then," said he, " I would weep and sigh, and
look back a little upon my wretched life, the history
of which would make the world amazed ; but, alas !
the prospect was so dark, and it filled me with so
much terror, that I could not bear it. Then I would
fly to wine and company for relief ; that wine brought
on excess, and that company, being always wicked
company like yourself, brought on temptation, and
then all reflection vanished and I was the same devil
as before."
He spoke this with so much affection that his face
was ever smiling when he talked of it, and yet his
[253]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
eyes had tears standing in them at the same time,
and all the time ; for he had a delightful sorrow, if
that be a proper expression, in speaking of it.
This was a strange relation to me, and began to
affect me after a manner that I did not understand.
I loved to hear him talk of it, and yet it always
left a kind of a dead lump behind it upon my heart,
which I could give no reason for, nor imagine to
what it should tend ; I had a heaviness on my soul,
without being able to describe it or to say what
ailed me.
Well, he went on with his relation. " After this, 11
says he, " I fell into the hands of a justice for a trifle,
a piece of sport in our crime ; and I, that for a hun
dred robberies, as well on the highway as otherwise,
the particulars of which would fill a book to give an
account of, ought, whenever I was taken, to be
hanged in chains, and who, if it had been public,
could not have failed of having twenty people come
in against me, was privately hurried into a country
gaol under a wrong name ; tried for a small fact,
within benefit of clergy, and in which I was not prin
cipally guilty, and by this means obtained the favour
of being transported.
" And what think you, 11 said he, " has most sen
sibly affected me, and brought on the blessed change
that, I hope I may say, God has wrought in my soul ?
Not the greatness of my crimes, but the wonders of
[254]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
that merciful Providence, which, when it has mercy
in store for a man, often brings him into the briers,
into SOITOW and misery for lesser sins, that men may
be led to see how they are spared from the punish
ment due to them for the greater guilt which they
know lies upon them. Do you think that when I
received the grant of transportation I could be in
sensible what a miracle of divine goodness such a
thing must be to one who had so many ways deserved
to be hanged, and must infallibly have died if my
true name had been known, or if the least notice had
been given that it was such a notorious wretch as
I that was in custody ? There began the first motive
of repentance ; for certainly the goodness of our
great Creatdr in sparing us, when we forfeit our lives
to His justice, and His merciful bringing us out of
the miseries which we plunge ourselves into, when
we have no way to extricate ourselves ; His bring
ing those very miseries to be the means of our de
liverance, and working good to us out of evil, when
we are working the very evil out of His good ; I say,
these things are certainly the strongest motives to
repentance that are in the world, and the sparing
thieves from the gallows certainly makes more peni
tents than the gallows itself.
" It is true, 11 continued he, " that the terror of
punishment works strongly upon the mind ; in view
of death men are filled with horror of soul, and
[255]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
immediately they call that repentance which I doubt
is too often mistaken, being only a kind of anguish
in the soul, which breeds a grief for the punishment
that is to be suffered an amazement founded upon
the dreadful view of what is to follow. But the sense
of mercy is quite another thing ; this seizes all the
passions and all the affections, and works a sincere,
unfeigned abhorrence of the crime, as a crime, as an
offence against our Benefactor, as an act of baseness
and ingratitude to Him who has given us life and all
the blessings and comforts of life, and who has con
quered us by continuing to do us good, when He has
been provoked to destroy us.
" This, sir," says he, " has been the fountain of
that repentance which I so much rejoice in ; this is
the delightful sorrow," says he, "that I spoke of just
now ; and this makes smiles sit on my face while
tears run from my eyes, a joy that I can no other
wise express than by telling you, sir, that I never
lived a happy day since I came to an age of acting
in the world till I landed in this country, and worked
in your plantation, naked and hungry, weary and
faint, oppressed with cold in one season, and heat in
the other. Then I began to see into my own ways,
and see the difference between the hardships of the
body and the torment of the mind. Before I revelled
in fulness, and here I struggled with hard fare ; then
I wallowed in sloth and voluptuous ease ; here I
[256]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
laboured till nature sometimes was just sinking
under the load ; but with this difference in the felic-
itv of either case, namely, that there I had a hell in
my soul, was filled with horror and confusion, was a
daily terror to myself, and always expected a miser
able end ; whereas here I had a blessed calm of soul,
an emblem and forerunner of heaven, thankful and
humble, adoring that mercy that had snatched me
out of the jaws of the devil. These took up my
thoughts, and made my most weary hours pleasant
to me, my labour light, and my heart cheerful. I
never lay down on my hard lodging but I praised
God with the greatest excess of affection, not only
that it was not the condemned hole, and that I was
delivered from the death I had deserved, but that it
was not Shooter's Hill ; that I was not still a robber,
a terror to just and honest men, a plunderer of the
innocent and the poor, a thief, and a villain, that
ought to be rooted out from the earth for the safety
of others ; but that I was delivered from the horrid
temptation of sinning to support my luxury, and
making one vice necessary to another ; and this, I
bear witness, is sufficient to sweeten the bitterest
sorrow, and make any man be thankful for Virginia,
or a worse place, if that can be."
He then entertained me with an opinion of his,
that if it were possible for the face of heaven and
hell to be disclosed and laid open, and that men
VOL. i. 17 [ 257 ]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
could be made capable of seeing distinctly and
separately the joys and glory and utmost felicity of
one, and the horrors of the other, and to make a
judgment of both according to the power of human
reasoning, the first would have a stronger and more
powerful effect to reform the world than the latter ;
but this we had further discourses about on many
occasions.
If it should be inquired how I was capable of hear
ing all this, and having no impressions made upon
my mind by it, especially when it so many ways
suited my own case, and the condition of the former
part of my life, I shall answer that presently by my
self. However, I took no notice of it to him, for he
had quite other notions of me than I had of myself ;
nor did I, as is usual in such cases, enter into any
confidence with him on my own story, only that I
took sometimes the occasion to let him know that I
did not come over to Virginia in the capacity of a
criminal, or that I was not transported ; which, con
sidering how many of the inhabitants there were so
who then lived in good circumstances, was needful
enough to be done.
But as to myself, it was enough that I was in con
dition now ; 't was no matter to anybody what I had
been ; and as it was grown pretty much out of mem
ory from what original disaster I came into the
country, or that I was ever a servant otherwise than
[258]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
voluntary, and that it was no business of mine to
expose myself, so I kept that part close. But for all
that, it was impossible for me to conceal the disorder
I was in as often as he talked of these things. I had
hitherto gone on upon a notion of things founded
only in their appearance, as they affected me with
good or evil, esteeming the happy and unhappy part
of life to be those that gave me ease or sorrow, with
out regarding, or indeed much understanding, how
far those turns of life were influenced by the Giver
of Life, or how far they were all directed by a sove
reign God that governs the world, and all the crea
tures he had made.
As I had no education but as you have heard, so
I had had no instruction, no knowledge of religion,
or indeed of the meaning of it ; and though I was
now in a kind of search after religion, it was a mere
looking, as it were, into the world to see what kind
of a thing or place it was, and what had been done
in it. But as to Him that made it, there had truly
been scarce a creature among all that He had made,
with souls in them, that were so entirely without the
knowledge of God as I was, and made so little inquiry
about it.
But the serious, affectionate discourse of this young
man began to have different effects upon me, and I
began to say to myself, " This man's reflections are
certainly very just ; but what a creature am I, and
[259]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
what have I been doing ! I that never once did
this in all my life; that never said so much
' God, I thank Thee for all that I have been saved
from, or all that I have been brought to in this
world ; ' and yet my life has been as full of variety,
and I have been as miraculously delivered from
dangers and mischiefs, and as many of them, as ever
he has. And if it has all been brought to pass by
an invisible hand in mercy to me, what have I been
doing, and where have I lived, that I only should be
the most thoughtless and unthankful of all God's
creatures ? "
This, indeed, began to grow upon me, and made
me very melancholy ; but as to religion, I under
stood so little about it that if I had resolved upon
any such thing as a new course of life, or to set about
a religious change, I knew not at which end to begin
or what to do about it.
One day it happened that my tutor for so I
always called him had the Bible in his hand, and
was looking in it, as he generally did many times
every day, though I knew not for what. Seeing the
Bible, I took it out of his hands, and went to look
in it, which I had done so little before that I think
I might safely say I had never read a chapter in it
in all my life. He was talking of the Bible then
as a book only, and where he had it, and how he
brought it to Virginia, and in some ecstasy he took
[260]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
and kissed it. " This blessed book ! " says he ;
" this was all the treasure I brought out from Eng
land with me. And a comfortable treasure it has
been to me," added he; "I would not have been
without it in my sorrows for any other treasure in
the world ; " and so he went on at large.
I, that had no notion of what he meant only,
as I have said above, some young infant thoughts
about the works of Providence in the world and its
merciful dealings with me took the book out of
his hand and went to look in it ; and the book
opened at the Acts xxvi. 28, where Felix says to St.
Paul, " Almost thou persuadest me to be a Christian.'
" I think," says I, " here 's a line hits me to a tittle,
upon the long account you have given of yourself,
and I must say them to you, as the governor here
said ; " and so I read the words to him. He blushed
at the text, and returns, " I wish I could answer you
in the very words the Apostle returned to him in
the next verse : ' I would thou wert both almost,
and altogether such as I am, except these bonds.' "
I was now more than thirty years old by my own
account, and as well as it was possible for me to keep
a reckoning of my age, who had nobody left that
ever knew my beginning ; I was, I say, above thirty
years old, and had gone through some variety in the
world. But as I was perfectly abandoned in my
infancy, and utterly without instruction in my youth,
[261]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
so I was entirely ignorant of everything that was
worthy the name of religion in the world ; and this
was the first time that ever any notion of religious
things entered into my heart. I was surprised at
this man's talk, and that several ways particularly
he talked so feelingly of his past circumstances, and
they were so like my own, that every time he made
a religious inference from his own condition, and
argued from one condition of his to another, it struck
into my thoughts like a bullet from a gun that I
had certainly as niuch to be thankful for and to re
pent of as he had, except only that I had no knowl
edge of better things to be thankful for, which he
had. But in return for that, I was delivered and set
up in the world, made a master, and easy, and was
in good circumstances, being raised from the very
same low, distressed condition as he was in I mean
a sold servant but that he remained so still ; so
that, if his sin had been greater than mine, so his
distress was still greater.
This article of gratitude struck deep and lay heavy
upon my mind. I remembered that I was grateful
to the last degree to my old master, who had raised
me from my low condition, and that I loved the very
name of him, or, as might be said, the very ground
he trod on ; but I had not so much as once thought
of any higher obligation ; no, nor so much as, like
the Pharisee, had said once, " God, I thank thee," to
[262]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Him, for all the influence which His providence must
have had in my whole affair.
It occurred to me presently that if none of all
these things befall us without the direction of a
Divine Power, as my new instructor had told me at
large, and that God had ordered everything, the
most minute and least transaction of life, insomuch
that not a hair of our head shall fall to the ground
without His permission ; I say, it occurred to me
that I had been a most unthankful dog to that
Providence that had done so much for me ; and the
consequence of the reflection was immediately this :
how justly may that Power, so disobliged, take away
again His wool and His flax, with which I am now
clothed, and reduce me to the misery of my first
circumstances.
This perplexed me much, and I was very pensive
and sad ; in which, however, my new instructor was
a constant comforter to me, and I learned every day
something or other from him ; upon which I told
him one morning that I thought be must leave off
teaching me Latin, and teach me religion. He spoke
with a great deal of modesty of his being incapable
of informing me of anything that I did not know,
and proposed to me to read the Scriptures every
day, as the sure and only fund of instruction. I
answered that, in the words of the eunuch to St.
Philip when the apostle asked him if he understood
[263]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
what he read : " How can I, unless some one guide
me?"
We talked frequently upon this subject, and I found
so much reason to believe he was a sincere convert
that I can speak of him as no other in all I have
to say of him. However, I cannot say my thoughts
were yet ripened for an operation of that kind. I
had some uneasiness about my past life, and I lived
now, and had done so before I knew him, a very
regular, sober life, always taken up in my business and
running into no excesses. But as to commencing
penitent, as this man had done, I cannot say I had
any convictions upon me sufficient to bring it on, nor
had I a fund of religious knowledge to support me
in it. So it wore off again gradually, as such things
generally do where the first impressions are not deep
enough.
In the meantime, as he read over long lectures of
his own disasters to me, and applied them all seri
ously to me, so our discourse was always very solid
and weighty, and we had nothing of levity between
us, even when we were not concerned in religious
discourses. He read history to me ; and, where
books were wanting, he gave me ideas of those things
which had not been recorded by our modern histories,
or at least that our number of books would not
reach. By these things he raised an unquenchable
thirst in me, after seeing something that was doing
[264 J
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
in the world ; and the more because all the world
was at that time engaged, more or less, in the great
war wherein the French king might be said to be
engaged with and against all the powers of Europe.
Now, I looked upon myself as one buried alive in
a remote part of the world, where I could see noth
ing at all, and hear but a little of what was seen, and
that little not till at least half a year after it was
done, and sometimes a year or more ; and, in a word,
the old reproach often came in the way namely,
that even this was not yet the life of a gentleman.
It was true that this was much nearer to it than
that of a pickpocket, and still nearer than that of a
sold slave ; but, in short, this would not do, and I
could receive no satisfaction in it. I had now a
second plantation, a very considerable one, and it
went forward very well. I had on it almost a hun
dred servants already of sundry sorts, and an over
seer that I had a great deal of reason to say I might
depend upon, and but that I had a third in embryo,
and newly begun, I had nothing to hinder me from
going where I pleased.
However, I now began to frame my thoughts for
a voyage to England, resolving then to act as I should
see cause, but with a secret resolution to see more of
the world if possible, and realise those things to my
mind which I had hitherto only entertained remote
ideas of by the help of books.
[265]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Accordingly I pushed forward the settlement of
my third plantation, in order to bring it to be in a
posture either to be let to a tenant or left in trust
with an overseer, as I should find occasion.
Had I resolved to leave it to an overseer or steward,
no man in the world could have been fit for it like
my tutor; but I could not think of parting with
him, who was the cause of my desire of travelling,
and who I concluded to make my partner in my
travels.
END OF VOL. I.
[266]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
VOL. n. 1
IT was three years after this before I could get
things in order, fit for my leaving the country.
In this time I delivered my tutor from his
bondage, and would have given him his liberty,
but, to my great disappointment, I found that I
could not empower him to go for England till his
time was expired, according to the certificate of his
transportation, which was registered ; so I made
him one of my overseers, and thereby raised him
gradually to a prospect of living in the same manner
and by the like steps that my good benefactor raised
me, only that I did not assist him to enter upon
planting for himself as I was assisted, neither was I
upon the spot to do it. But this man's diligence
and honest application, even unassisted, delivered
himself, [though not] any farther than, as I say, by
making him an overseer, which was only a present
ease and deliverance to him from the hard labour
and fare which he endured as a servant.
However, in this trust he behaved so faithfully and
so diligently that it recommended him in the coun-
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
try ; and when I came back I found him in circum
stances very different from what I left him in,
besides his being my principal manager for near
twenty years, as you shall hear in its place.
I mention these things the more at large that,
if any unhappy wretch who may have the disaster
to fall into such circumstances as these may come to
see this account, they may learn the following short
lessons from these examples :
I. That Virginia and a state of transportation
may be the happiest place and condition they were
ever in for this life, as, by a sincere repentance and
a diligent application to the business they are put
to, they are effectually delivered from a life of flagrant
wickedness and put in a perfect new condition, in
which they have no temptation to the crimes they
formerly committed, and have a prospect of advan
tage for the future.
II. That in Virginia the meanest and most despi
cable creature, after his time of servitude is expired,
if he will but apply himself with diligence and in
dustry to the business of the country, is sure (life
and health supposed) both of living well and growing
rich.
As this is a foundation which the most unfortu
nate wretch alive is entitled to, a transported felon
is, in my opinion, a much happier man than the
most prosperous untaken thief in the nation. Nor
[4]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
are those poor young people so much in the wrong
as some imagine them to be that go voluntarily over
to those countries, and in order to get themselves
carried over and placed there, freely bind themselves
there, especially if the persons into whose hands
they fall do anything honestly by them ; for, as it is
to be supposed that those poor people knew not what
course to take before, or had miscarried in their
conduct before, here they are sure to be immediately
provided for, and, after the expiration of their time,
to be put in a condition to provide for themselves.
But I return to my own story, which now begins a
new scene.
I was now making provision for my going to
England. After having settled my plantation in such
hands as was fully to my satisfaction, my first work
was to furnish myself with such a stock of goods and
money as might be sufficient for my occasions abroad,
and particularly might allow me to make large re
turns to Maryland, for the use and supply of all my
plantations. But when I came to look nearer into
the voyage, it occurred to me that it would not be
prudent to put my cargo all on board the same ship
that I went in ; so I shipped at several times five
hundred hogsheads of tobacco in several ships for
England, giving notice to my correspondent in
London that I would embark about such a time to
come over myself, and ordering him to insure for a
[5]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
considerable sum, proportioned to the value of my
cargo.
About two months after this I left the place, and
embarked for England in a stout ship, carrying
twenty-four guns and about six hundred hogsheads
of tobacco, and we left the capes of Virginia on the
1st of August. We had a very sour and rough
voyage for the first fortnight, though it was in a
season so generally noted for good weather.
After we had been about eleven days at sea, hav
ing the wind most part of the time blowing very
hard at west, or between the west and northwest, by
which we were canned a great way farther to the east
ward than they usually go in their course for Eng
land, we met with a furious tempest, which held us
five days, blowing most of the time excessive hard,
and by which we were obliged to run away afore the
wind, as the seamen call it, wheresoever it was our
lot to go. By this storm our ship was greatly dam
aged, and some leaks we had, but not so bad that
by the diligence of the seamen they were stopped.
However, the captain, after having beaten up again
as well as he could against the weather, and the sea
going very high, at length he resolved to go away for
the Bermudas.
I was not seaman enough to understand what the
reason of their disputes was, but in their running for
the islands it seems they overshot the latitude, and
[6]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
could never reach the islands of Bermudas again.
The master and the mate differed to an extremity
about this, their reckonings being more than usually
wide of one another, the storm having driven them
a little out of their knowledge. The master, being
a positive man, insulted the mate about it, and
threatened to expose him for it when he came to
England. The mate was an excellent sea artist and
an experienced sailor, but withal a modest man, and
though he insisted upon his being right, did it in
respectful terms and as it became him. But after
several days' dispute, when the weather came to
abate and the heavens to clear up, that they could
take their observations and know where they were,
it appeared that the mate's account was right, and
the captain was mistaken ; for they were then in the
latitude of 29 degrees, and quite out of the wake of
the Bermudas.
The mate made no indecent use of the discovery
at all, and the captain, being convinced, carried it
civilly to him, and sd the heats were over among
them ; but the next question was, what they should
do next. Some were for going one way, some
another ; but all agreed that they were not in a con
dition to go on the direct course for England, unless
they could have a southerly or south-west wind,
which had not been our fate since we came to sea.
Upon the whole, they resolved by consent to steer
[7]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
away to the Canaries, which was the nearest land they
could make except the Cape de Verde Islands, which
were too much to the southward for us, if it could
be avoided.
Upon this they stood away N.E., and the wind
hanging still westerly, or to the northward of the
west, we made good way, and in about fifteen days 1
sail we made the Pico Teneriffe, being a monstrous
hill in one of the Canary Islands. Here we refreshed
ourselves, got fresh water and some fresh provisions,
and plenty of excellent wine, but no harbour to run
into, to take care of the ship, which was leaky and
tender, having had so much very bad weather ; so we
were obliged to do as well as we could, and put to sea
again, after riding at the Canaries four days only.
From the Canaries we had tolerable weather and
a smooth sea till we came into the soundings so
they call the mouth of the British Channel and
the wind blowing hard at the N. and the N.W.
obliged us to keep a larger offing, as the seamen call
it, at our entrance into the Channel ; when, behold !
in the grey of the morning a French cruiser or
privateer of twenty-six guns appeared, and crowded
after us with all the sail they could make. In short,
our captain exchanged a broadside or two with them,
which was terrible work to me, for I had never seen
such before, the Frenchman's guns having raked us,
and killed and wounded six of our best men.
[8]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
In short, after a fight long enough to show us
that if we would not be taken we must resolve to
sink by her side, for there was no room to expect
deliverance, and a fight long enough to save the
master's credit, we were taken, and the ship carried
away to St. Malo.
I was not much concerned for the loss I had in
the ship, because I knew I had sufficient in the
world somewhere or other ; but as I was effectually
stripped of everything I had about me, and even
almost my clothes from my back, I was in but a very
indifferent condition. But somebody informing the
captain of the privateer, that I was a passenger and
a merchant, he called for me and inquired into my
circumstances, and coming to hear from myself how
I had been used, obliged the seamen to give me a
coat and hat and a pair of shoes, which they had
taken off me, and himself gave me a morning gown
of his own to wear while I was in his ship, and, to
give him his due, treated me very well.
I had, however, besides my being taken, the mor
tification to be detained on board the cruiser, and
seeing the ship I was in manned with Frenchmen and
sent away, as above, for St. Malo ; and this was a
greater mortification to me afterwards, when, being
brought into St. Malo, I heard that our own ship was
retaken in her passage to St. Malo by an English
man-of-war and carried to Portsmouth.
[9]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
When our ship was sent away the Rover cruised
abroad again in the mouth of the Channel for some
time, but met with no purchase. At last they made
a sail, which proved to be one of their nation and
one of their own trade, from whom they learned, the
news having been carried to England that some
French privateers lay off and on in the soundings,
that three English men-of-war were come out from
Plymouth on purpose to cruise in the Channel, and
that they would certainly meet with us. Upon this
intelligence the Frenchman, a bold, brave fellow, far
from shrinking from his work, stands away N.E.
for St. George's Channel, and in the latitude of 48
degrees and a half, unhappily enough, meets with
a large and rich English ship, bound home from
Jamaica. It was in the grey of the morning, and
very clear, when a man on the roundtop cried out,
" Au voile, a sail." I was in hopes indeed it had
been the English men-of-war, and by the hurry and
clutter they were in to get all ready for a fight, I
concluded it was so, and got out of my hammock
(for I had no cabin to. lie in) that I might see what
it was ; but I soon found that my hopes were in
vain, and it was on the wrong side ; for that that
being on our larboard bow, the ship lying then
northward to make the coast of Ireland, by the time
I was turned out I could perceive they had all their
sails bent and full, having begun to chase, and mak-
[10]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
ing great way. On the other hand, it was evident
the ship saw them too, and jcnew what they were,
and, to avoid them, stretched away with all the
canvas they could lay on for the coast of Ireland,
to run in there for harbour.
Our privateer, it was plain, infinitely outsailed her,
running two foot for her one, and towards evening
came up with them. Had they been able to have
held it but six hours longer they would have got
into Limerick River, or somewhere under shore, so
that we should not have ventured upon them. But
we came up with them, and the captain, when he saw
there was no remedy, bravely brought to and pre
pared to fight. She was a ship of thirty guns, but
deep in the sea, cumbered between decks with goods,
and could not run out her lower-deck guns, the sea
also going pretty high, though at last she ventured
to open her gun-room ports and fire with three guns
on a side. But her worst fate was, she sailed heavy,
being deep loaden, and the Frenchman had run up
by her side and poured in his broadside, and was
soon ready again. However, as she was well manned
too, and that the English sailors bestirred themselves,
they gave us their broadsides too very nimbly and
heartily, and I found the Frenchman had a great
many men killed at the first brush. But the next
was worse, for the English ship, though she did not
sail so well as the Frenchman, was a bigger ship and
[11]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
strong built, and as we (the French) bore down upon
them again, the English run boldly on board us, and
laid thwart our hawse, lashing themselves fast to us.
Then it was that the English captain run out his
lower tier of guns, and indeed tore the Frenchman so,
that, had he held it, the privateer would have had
the worst of it. But the Frenchman, with admirable
readiness, indeed, and courage, the captain appearing
everywhere with his sword in his hand, bestirred
themselves, and loosing themselves from the English
ship, thrusting her off with brooms, and pouring
their small shot so thick that the other could not
appear upon deck ; I say, clearing themselves thus,
they came to lie a-broadside of each other, when, by
long firing, the English ship was at length disabled,
her mizzen-mast and bowsprit shot away, and,
which was worst of all, her captain killed ; so that,
after a fight which held all night for they fought
in the dark and part of the next day, they were
obliged to strike.
I was civilly desired by the French captain to go
down into the hold while the fight held, and, besides
the civility of it, I found he was not willing I should
be upon deck. Perhaps he thought I might have
some opportunity to do hurt, though I know not
how it could be. However, I was very ready to go
down, for I had no mind to be killed, especially by
my own friends; so I went down and sat by the
[12]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
surgeon, and had the opportunity to find that, the
first broadside the English fired, seven wounded men
were brought down to the surgeon, and three-and-
thirty more afterwards, that is to say, when the
English lay thwart their bow ; and after they cleared
themselves there were about eleven more ; so that
they- had one-and-fifty men wounded and about two-
and-twenty killed. The Englishman had eighteen
men killed and wounded, among whom was the
captain.
The French captain, however, triumphed in his
prize ; for it was an exceeding rich ship, having
abundance of silver on board. And after the ship
was taken and they had plundered all the great
cabin afforded, which was very considerable, the
mate promised the captain that, if he would give
him his liberty, he would discover six thousand pieces
of eight to him privately, "which none of the men
should know of. The captain engaged, and gave it
under his hand to set him at liberty as soon as he
came on shore. Accordingly, in the night, after all
was either turned in, as they call it, or employed
on the duty of the watch, the captain and the mate
of the prize went on board, and having faithfully
discovered the money, which lay in a place made on
purpose to conceal it, the captain resolved to let it
lie till they arrived, and then he conveyed it on
shore for his own use ; so that the owners, nor the
[13]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
seamen, ever came to any share of it, which, by the
way, was a fraud in the captain. But the mate paid
his ransom by the discovery, and the captain gave
him his liberty very punctually, as he had promised,
and two hundred pieces of eight to carry him to
England and to make good his losses.
When he had made this prize, the captain thought
of nothing more than how to get safe to France with
her, for she' was a ship sufficient to enrich all his
men and his owners also. The account of her cargo,
by the captain's books, of which I took a copy, was
in general :
260 hogsheads of sugar.
187 smaller casks of sugar.
176 barrels of indigo.
28 casks of pimento.
42 bags of cotton wool.
80 cwt. of elephants' teeth.
60 small casks of rum.
18,000 pieces of eight, besides the six thou
sand concealed.
Several parcels of drugs, tortoise-shell, sweetmeats,
called succades, chocolate, lime juice, and other
things of considerable value.
'
This was a terrible loss among the English mer
chants, and a noble booty for the rogues that took
it ; but as it was in open war and by fair fighting,
as they call it, there was no objection to be made
[M]
,
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
against them, and, to give them their due, they
fought bravely for it.
The captain was not so bold as to meeting the
English men-of-war before, but he was as wary now ;
for, having a prize of such value in his hands, he
was resolved not to lose her again, if he could help
it. So he stood away to the southward, and that
so far that I once thought he was resolved to go
into the Straits, and home by Marseilles. But hav
ing sailed to the latitude of 45 degrees 3 quarters,
or thereabouts, he steered away east, into the bottom
of the Bay of Biscay, and carried us all into the
river of Bordeaux, where, on notice of his arrival
with such a prize, his owners or principals came
overland to see him, and where they consulted what
to do with her. The money they secured, to be
sure, and some of the cargo ; but the ships sailed
afterwards along the coast to St. Malo, taking the
opportunity of some French men-of-war which were
cruising on the coast to be their convoy as far as
Ushant.
Here the captain rewarded and dismissed the
English mate, as I have said, who got a passage
from thence to Dieppe by sea, and after that into
England, by the help of a passport, through Flanders
to Ostend. The captain, it seems, the more willingly
shipped him off that he might not discover to others
what he had discovered to him.
[15]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
I was now at Bordeaux, in France, and the captain
asked me one morning what I intended to do. I did
not understand him at first, but he soon gave me to
understand that I was now either to be delivered up
to the state as an English prisoner, and so be carried
to Dinan, in Brittany, or to find means to have my
self exchanged, or to pay my ransom, and this ran
som he told me at first was three hundred crowns.
I knew not what to do, but desired he would give
me time to write to England to my friends ; for
that I had a cargo of goods sent to them by me
from Virginia, but I did not know but it might have
fallen into such hands as his were, and if it was, I
knew not what would be my fate. He readily
granted that ; so I wrote by the post, and had the
satisfaction, in answer to it, to hear that the ship I
was taken in had been retaken, and carried into
Portsmouth ; which I doubted would have made my
new master more strict, and perhaps insolent; but
he said nothing of it to me, nor I to him, though,
as I afterwards understood, he had advice of it
before.
However, this was a help to me, and served to
more than pay my ransom to the captain. And my
correspondent in London, hearing of my being alive
and at Bordeaux, immediately sent me a letter of
credit upon an English merchant at Bordeaux for
whatever I might have occasion for. As soon as I
[16]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
received this I went to the merchant, who honoured
the letter of credit, and told me I should have what
money I pleased. But as I, who was before a mere
stranger in the place and knew not what course to
take, had now, as it were, a friend to communicate
my affairs to and consult with, as soon as I told him
my case, " Hold," says he ; " if tha,t be your case, I
may perhaps find a way to get you off without a
ransom."
There was, it seems, a ship bound home to France
from Martinico, taken off Cape Finisterre by an
English man-of-war, and a merchant of Rochelle,
being a passenger, was taken on board, and brought
into Plymouth. This man had made great solicita
tion by his friends to be exchanged, pleading pov
erty, and that he was unable to pay any ransom.
My friend told me something of it, but not much,
only bade me not be too forward to pay any money
to the captain, but pretend I could not hear from
England. This I did till the captain appeared
impatient.
After some time the captain told me I had used
him ill ; that I had made him expect a ransom, and
he had treated me courteously and been at expense
to subsist me, and that I held him in suspense, but
that, in short, if I did not procure the money, he
would send me to Dinan in ten days, to lie there as
the king's prisoner till I should be exchanged. My
YOL. n. 2 [ 17 ]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
merchant gave me my cue, and by his direction I an
swered I was very sensible of his civility, and sorry
he should lose what expenses he had been at, but
that I found my friends forgot me, and what to do
I did not know, and that, rather than impose upon
him, I must submit to go to Dinan, or where he
thought fit to send me ; but that if ever I obtained
my liberty, and came into England, I would not fail
to reimburse him what expense he had been at for
my subsistence ; and so, in short, made my case very
bad in all my discourse. He shook his head and
said little, but the next day entered me in the list of
English prisoners to be at the king's charge, as ap
pointed by the intendant of the place, and to be
sent away into Brittany.
I was then out of the captain's power, and imme
diately the merchant, with two others who were
friends to the merchant prisoner at Plymouth, went
to the intendant and gained an order for the ex
change, and my friend giving security for my being
forthcoming, in case the other was not delivered, I
had my liberty immediately, and went home with
him to his house.
Thus we bilked the captain of his ransom money.
But, however, my friend went to him, and letting
him know that I was exchanged by the governor's
order, paid him whatever he could say he was in dis
burse on my account ; and it was not then in the
[18]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
captain's power to object, or to claim anything for
a ransom.
I got passage from hence to Dunkirk on board a
French vessel, and having a certificate of an ex
changed prisoner from the intendent at Bordeaux, I
had a passport given me to go into the Spanish
Netherlands, and so whither I pleased.
Accordingly I came to Ghent, in April , just
as the armies were going to take the field. I had
no dislike to the business of the army, but I thought
I was a little above it now, and had other things to
look to ; for that, in my opinion, nobody went into
the field but those that could not live at home. And
yet I resolved to see the manner of it a little too, so,
having made an acquaintance with an English officer
quartered at Ghent, I told him my intention, and
he invited me to go with him, and offered me his
protection as a volunteer, that I should quarter with
him in his tent, and live as I would, and either carry
arms or not, as I saw occasion.
The campaign was none of the hardest that had
been, or was like to be ; so that I had the diversion
of seeing the service, as it was proper to call it, with
out much hazard. Indeed I did not see any con
siderable action, for there was not much fighting
that campaign. As to the merit of the cause on
either side, I knew nothing of it, nor had I suffered
any of the disputes about it to enter into my thoughts
[19]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
The Prince of Orange had been made king of Eng
land, and the English troops were all on his side ;
and I heard a great deal of swearing and damning
for King William among the soldiers. But as for
fighting, I observed the French beat them several
times, and particularly the regiment my friend be
longed to was surrounded in a village where they
were posted, I knew not upon what occasion, and
all taken prisoners. But by great good hap, I,
being not in service, and so not in command, was
strolled away that day to see the country about ; for
it was my delight to see the strong towns, and ob
serve the beauty of their fortifications ; and while I
diverted myself thus, I had the happy deliverance
of not being taken by the French for that time.
When I came back I found the enemy possessed
of the town, but as I was no soldier they did me no
harm, and having my French passport in my pocket,
they gave me leave to go to Nieuport, where I took
the packet-boat and came over to England, land
ing at Deal instead of Dover, the weather forcing
us into the Downs ; and thus my short campaign
ended, and this was my second essay at the trade of
soldiering.
When I came to London I was very well received
by my friend, to whom I had consigned my effects,
and I found myself in very good circumstances ; for
all my goods, which, as above, by several ships, I
[20]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
had consigned to him, came safe to hand ; and my
overseers that I had left behind had shipped at
several times four hundred hogsheads of tobacco
to my correspondent in my absence, being the product
of my plantation, or part of it, for the time of my
being abroad ; so that I had above 1000 in my
factor's hands, two hundred hogsheads of tobacco
besides left in hand, not sold.
I had nothing to do now but entirely to conceal
myself from all that had any knowledge of me before.
And this was the easiest thing in the world to do ;
for I was grown out of everybody's knowledge, and
most of those I had known were grown out of mine.
My captain, who went with me, or, rather, who car
ried me away, I found, by inquiring at the proper
place, had been rambling about the world, came to
London, fell into his own trade, which he could not
forbear, and growing an eminent highwayman, had
made his exit at the gallows, after a life of fourteen
years' most exquisite and successful rogueries, the
particulars of which would make, as I observed, an
admirable history. My other brother Jacque, who
I called major, followed the like wicked trade, but
was a man of more gallantry and generosity ; and
having committed innumerable depredations upon
mankind, yet had always so much dexterity as to
bring himself off, till at length he was laid fast in
Newgate, and loaded with irons, and would certainly
[21]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
have gone the same way as the captain, but he was
so dexterous a rogue that no gaol, no fetters, would
hold him ; and he, with two more, found means to
knock off their irons, worked their way through the
wall of the prison, and let themselves down on the
outside in the night. So escaping, they found
means to get into France, where he followed the
same trade, and with so much success that he grew
famous by the name of Anthony, and had the hon
our, with three of his comrades, whom he had taught
the English way of robbing generously, as they called
it, without murdering or wounding, or ill-using those
they robbed ; I say, he had the honour to be broke
upon the wheel at the Greve in Paris.
All these things I found means to be fully informed
of, and to have a long account of the particulars of
their conduct from some of their comrades who had
the good fortune to escape, and who I got the
knowledge of without letting them so much as guess
at who I was or upon what account I inquired.
I was now at the height of my good fortune. In
deed I was in very good circumstances, and being of
a frugal temper from the beginning, I saved things
together as they came, and yet lived very well too.
Particularly I had the reputation of a very consider
able merchant, and one that came over vastly rich
from Virginia ; and as I frequently bought supplies
for my several families and plantations there as they
[22]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
wrote to me for them, so I passed, I say, for a great
merchant.
I lived single, indeed, and in lodgings, but I began
to be very well known, and though I had subscribed
my name only " Jack " to my particular correspon
dent, yet the French, among whom I lived near a
year, as I have said, not understanding what Jack
meant, called me Monsieur Jacques and Colonel
Jacques, and so gradually Colonel Jacque. So I was
called in the certificate of exchanging me with the
other prisoner, so that I went so also into Flanders ;
upon which, and seeing my certificate of exchange,
as above, I was called Colonel Jacques in England
by my friend who I called correspondent. And thus
I passed for a foreigner and a Frenchman, and I was
infinitely fond of having everybody take me for a
Frenchman ; and as I spoke French very well, hav
ing learned it by continuing so long among them,
so I went constantly to the French church in London,
and spoke French upon all occasions as much as I
could ; and, to complete the appearance of it, I got me
a French servant to do my business I mean as to
my merchandise, which only consisted in receiving and
disposing of tobacco, of which I had about five
hundred to six hundred hogsheads a year from my
own plantations, and in supplying my people with
necessaries as they wanted them.
In this private condition I continued about two
[23]
years more, when the devil, owing me a spleen ever
since I refused being a thief, paid me home, with my
interest, by laying a snare in my way which had
almost ruined me.
There dwelt a lady in the house opposite to the
house I lodged in, who made an extraordinary figure
indeed. She went very well dressed, and was a most
beautiful person. She was well-bred, sung admirably
fine, and sometimes I could hear her very distinctly,
the houses being over against one another, in a
narrow court, not much unlike Three King Court in
Lombard Street.
This lady put herself so often in my way that I
could not in good manners forbear taking notice of
her, and giving her the ceremony of my hat when I
saw her at her window, or at the door, or when I
passed her in the court ; so that we became almost
acquainted at a distance. Sometimes she also visited
at the house I lodged at, and it was generally con
trived that I should be introduced when she came,
and thus by degrees we became more intimately
acquainted, and often conversed together in the
family, but always in public, at least for a great
while.
I was a mere boy in the affair of love, and knew
the least of what belonged to a woman of any man
in Europe of my age. The thoughts of a wife,
much less of a mistress, had never so much as taken
[24]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
the least hold of my head, and I had been till now
as perfectly unacquainted with the sex, and as un
concerned about them, as I was when I was ten years
old, and lay in a heap of ashes at the glass-house.
But I know not by what witchcraft in the conver
sation of this woman, and her singling me out upon
several occasions, I began to be ensnared, I knew not
how, or to what end ; and was on a sudden so em
barrassed in my thoughts about her that, like a
charm, she had me always in her circle. If she had
not been one of the subtlest women on earth, she
could never have brought me to have given myself
the least trouble about her, but I was drawn in by
the magic of a genius capable to deceive a more
wary capacity than mine, and it was impossible to
resist her.
She attacked me without ceasing, with the fineness
of her conduct, and with arts which were impossible
to be ineffectual. She was ever, as it were, in my
view, often in my company, and yet kept herself so
on the reserve, so surrounded continually with ob
structions, that for several months after she could
perceive I sought an opportunity to speak to her, she
rendered it impossible ; nor could I ever break in
upon her, she kept her guard so well.
This rigid behaviour was the greatest mystery that
could be, considering, at the same time, that she
never declined my seeing her or conversing with me
[Z5J
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
in public. But she held it on ; she took care never
to sit next me, that I might slip no paper into her
hand or speak softly to her ; she kept somebody or
other always between, that I could never come up
to her; and thus, as if she was resolved really to
have nothing to do with me, she held me at the bay
several months.
All this while nothing was more certain than that
she intended to have me, if she could catch ; and it
was indeed a kind of a catch, for she managed all
by art, and drew me in with the most resolute back
wardness, that it was almost impossible not to be de
ceived by it. On the other hand, she did not appear
to be a woman despicable, neither was she poor, or
in a condition that should require so much art to
draw any man in ; but the cheat was really on my
side ; for she was unhappily told that I was vastly rich,
a great merchant, and that she would live like a
queen ; which I was not at all instrumental in put
ting upon her, neither did I know that she went upon
that motive.
She was too cunning to let me perceive how easy
she was to be had ; on the contrary, she run all the
hazards of bringing me to neglect her entirely that
one would think any woman in the world could do.
And I have wondered often since how that it was
possible it should fail of making me perfectly averse
to her ; for as I had a perfect indifferency for the
[86]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
whole sex, and never till then entertained any notion
of them, they were no more to me than a picture
hanging up against a wall.
As we conversed freely together in public, so she
took a great many occasions to rally the men, and
the weakness they were guilty of in letting the
women insult them as they did. She thought if the
men had not been fools, marriage had been only
treaties of peace between two neighbours, or alliances
offensive or defensive, which must necessarily have
been carried on sometimes by interviews and personal
treaties, but oftener by ambassadors, agents, and
emissaries on both sides ; but that the women had
outwitted us, and brought us upon our knees, and
made us whine after them, and lower ourselves, so as
we could never pretend to gain our equality again.
I told her I thought it was a decency to the ladies
to give them the advantage of denying a little, that
they might be courted, and that I should not like a
woman the worse for denying me. "I expect it,
madam, 1 " says I, " when I wait on you to-morrow ; "
intimating that I intended it. " You shan't be de
ceived, sir," says she, " for 1 11 deny now, before you
ask me the question.""
I was dashed so effectually with so malicious, so
devilish an answer that I returned with a little sullen-
ness, " I shan't trespass upon you yet, madam ; and
I shall be very careful not to offend you when I do."
[27]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
"It is the greatest token of your respect, sir,"
says she, "that you are able to bestow upon me,
and the most agreeable too, except one, which I
will not be out of hopes of obtaining of you in a
little time."
" What is in my power to oblige you in, madam, 1 '
said I, " you may command me in at any time, espe
cially the way we are talking of." This I spoke still
with a resentment very sincere.
" It is only, sir, that you would promise to hate
me with as much sincerity as I will endeavour to
make you a suitable return."
"I granted that request, madam, seven years
before you asked it," said I, " for I heartily hated the
whole sex, and scarce know how I came to abate that
good disposition in compliment to your conversation ;
but I assure you that abatement is so little that it
does no injury to your proposal."
" There 's some mystery in that indeed, sir," said
she, " for I desire to assist your aversion to women
in a more particular manner, and hoped it should
never abate under my management." We said a
thousand ill-natured things after this, but she out
did me, for she had such a stock of bitterness upon
her tongue as no woman ever went beyond her, and
yet all this while she was the pleasantest and most
obliging creature in every part of our conversation
that could possibly be, and meant not one word of
[28]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
what she said ; no, not a word. But I must confess
it no way answered her end, for it really cooled all
my thoughts of her, and I, that had lived in so per
fect an indifferency to the sex all my days, was easily
returned to that condition again, and began to grow
very cold and negligent in my usual respects to her
upon all occasions.
She soon found she had gone too far with me, and,
in short, that she was extremely out in her politics ;
that she had to do with one that was not listed yet
among the whining sort of lovers, and knew not
what it was to adore a mistress in order to abuse
her ; and that it was not with me as it was with the
usual sort of men in love, that are warmed by the
cold, and rise in their passions as the ladies fall in
their returns. On the contrary, she found that it
was quite altered. I was civil to her, as before, but
not so forward. When I saw her at her chamber-
window, I did not throw mine open, as I usually had
done, to talk with her. When she sung in the par
lour, where I could easily hear it, I did not listen.
When she visited at the house where I lodged, I did
not always come down ; or if I did, I had business
which obliged me to go abroad ; and yet all this
while, when I did come into her company, I was as
intimate as ever.
I could easily see that this madded her to the
heart, and that she was perplexed to the last degree ,
[29]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
for she found that she had all her game to play over
again ; that so absolute a reservedness, even to rude
ness and ill manners, was a little too much ; but she
was a mere posture-mistress in love, and could put
herself into what shapes she pleased.
She was too wise to show a fondness or forward
ness that looked like kindness. She knew that was
the meanest and last step a woman can take, and
lays her under the foot of the man she pretends to.
Fondness is not the last favour indeed, but it is the
last favour but one that a woman can grant, and
lays her almost as low ; I mean, it lays her at the
mercy of the man she shows it to ; but she was
not come to that neither. This chameleon put on
another colour, turned, on a sudden, the gravest,
soberest, majestic madam, so that any one would
have thought she was advanced in age in one week
from two-and-twenty to fifty, and this she carried on
with so much government of herself that it did not
in the least look like art ; but if it was a representa
tion of nature only, it was so like nature itself that
nobody living can be able to distinguish. She sung
very often in her parlour, as well by herself as with
two young ladies who came often to see her. I could
see by their books, and her guitar in her hand, that
she was singing ; but she never opened the window,
as she was wont to do. Upon my coming to my
window, she kept her own always shut ; or if it was
[30]
.
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
open, she would be sitting at work, and not look up,
it may be, once in half-an-hour.
If she saw me by accident all this while, she would
smile, and speak as cheerfully as ever ; but it was
but a word or two, and so make her honours and be
gone; so that, in a word, we conversed just as we
did after I had been there a week.
She tired me quite out at this work ; for though
I began the strangeness, indeed, yet I did not design
the carrying it on so far. But she held it to the
last, just in the same manner as she began it. She
came to the house where I lodged as usual, and we
were often together, supped together, played at cards
together, danced together ; for in France I accom
plished myself with everything that was needful to
make me what I believed myself to be even from a
boy I mean a gentleman. I say, we conversed to
gether, as above, but she was so perfectly another
thing to what she used to be in every part of her
conversation that it presently occurred to me that
her former behaviour was a kind of a rant or fit ;
that either it was the effect of some extraordinary
levity that had come upon her, or that it was done
to mimic the coquets of the town, believing it might
take with me, who she thought was a Frenchman, and
that it was what I loved. But her new gravity was
her real natural temper, and indeed it became her so
much better, or, as I should say, she acted it so well,
[81]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
that it really brought me back to have, not as much
only, but more mind to her than ever I had before.
However, it was a great while before I discovered
myself, and I stayed indeed to find out, if possible,
whether this change was real or counterfeit ; for I
could not easily believe it was possible the gay
humour she used to appear in could be a counterfeit.
It was not, therefore, till a year and almost a quarter
that I came to any resolution in my thoughts about
her, when, on a mere accident, we came to a little
conversation together.
She came to visit at our house as usual, and it
happened all the ladies were gone abroad ; but, as it
fell out, I was in the passage or entry of the house,
going towards the stairs, when she knocked at the
door ; so, stepping back, I opened the door, and she,
without any ceremony, came in, and ran forward into
the parlour, supposing the women had been there.
I went in after her, as I could do no less, because
she did not know that the family was abroad.
Upon my coming in she asked for the ladies. I
told her I hoped she came to visit me now, for that
the ladies were all gone abroad. " Are they ? " said
she, as if surprised though I understood afterwards
she knew it before, as also that I was at home and
then rises up to be gone. "No, madam," said I,
" pray do not go ; when ladies come to visit me, I
do not use to tire them of my company so soon."
[32]
COLONEL JACQUE AND THE LADY
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
" That's as ill-natured," says she, "as you could
possibly talk. Pray don't pretend I came to visit
you. I am satisfied who I came to visit, and satis
fied that you know it." " Yes, madam," said I ;
" but if I happen to be all of the family that 's left
at home, then you came to visit me."
" I never receive visits from those that I hate,"
says she.
" You have me there, indeed," said I ; " but you
never gave me leave to tell you why I hated you. I
hated you because you would never give me an
opportunity to tell you I loved you. Sure, you took
me for some frightful creature, that you would never
come near enough so much as to let me whisper to
you that I love you."
" I never care to hear anything so disagreeable,"
says she, " though it be spoken ever so softly."
We rallied thus for an hour. In short, she
showed the abundance of her wit, and I an abun
dant deficiency of mine ; for though three or four
times she provoked me to the last degree, so that
once I was going to tell her I had enough of her
company, and, if she pleased I would wait upon
her to the door, yet she had always so much witch
craft on her tongue that she brought herself off
again ; till, to make the story short, we came at last
to talk seriously on both sides about matrimony, and
she heard me freely propose it, and answered me
VOL. n. 3 [33]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
directly upon many occasions. For example, she
told me I would carry her away to France or to
Virginia, and that she could not think of leaving
England, her native country. I told her I hoped
she did not take me for a kidnapper. (By the way,
I did not tell her how I had been kidnapped my
self.) She said no ; but the consequence of my
affairs, which were, it seems, mostly abroad, might
oblige me to go, and she could never think of marry
ing any man that she could not be content to go all
over the world with, if he had occasion to go himself.
This was handsomely expressed indeed. I made her
easy on that point, and thus we began the grand
parley; which indeed she drew me into with the utmost
art and subtilty, such as was peculiar to herself, but
was infinitely her advantage in our treating of mar
riage ; for she made me effectually court her, though at
the same time in her design she courted me with the
utmost skill, and such skill it was that her design
was perfectly impenetrable to the last moment.
In short, we came nearer and nearer every time we
met ; and after one casual visit more, in which I had
the mighty favour of talking with her alone, I then
waited on her every day at her own house, or
lodgings rather, and so we set about the work to
a purpose, and in about a month we gave the world
the slip, and were privately married, to avoid cere
mony and the public inconveniency of a wedding.
[34]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
We soon found a house proper for our dwelling,
and so went to housekeeping. We had not been
long together but I found that gay temper of my
wife returned, and she threw oft' the mask of her
gravity and good conduct, that I had so long fancied
was her mere natural disposition ; and now, having
no more occasion for disguises, she resolved to seem
nothing but what really she was, a wild, untamed
colt, perfectly loose, and careless to conceal any part,
no, not the worst of her conduct.
She carried on this air of levity to such an excess
that I could not but be dissatisfied at the expense
of it ; for she kept company that I did not like,
lived beyond what I could support, and sometimes
lost at play more than I cared to pay. Upon which,
one day, I took occasion to mention it, but lightly ;
and said to her, by way of raillery, that we lived
merrily, for as long as it would last. She turned
short upon me, " What do you mean ? " says she.
"Why, you don't pretend to be uneasy, do ye?""
" No, no, madam, not I, by no means ; it is no busi
ness of mine, you know," said I, " to inquire what
my wife spends, or whether she spends more than I
can afford, or less. I only desire the favour to know,
as near as you can guess, how long you will please to
take to despatch me, for I would not be too long
a-dying."
"I do not know what you talk of," says she.
[35]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
" You may die as leisurely, or as hastily, as you
please, when your time comes ; I a'nt a-going to kill
you, as I know of."
" But you are a-going to starve me, madam,"" said
I, "and hunger is as leisurely a death as breaking
upon the wheel."
" I starve you ! Why, are not you a great Vir
ginia merchant, and did not I bring you .1500?
What would you have ? Sure, you can maintain a
wife out of that, can't you ? "
w Yes, madam, 11 says I, " I could maintain a wife,
but not a gamester, though you had brought me
1500 a year ; no estate is big enough for a box
and dice. 11
She took fire at that, and flew out in a passion,
and after a great many bitter words, told me, in
short, that she saw no occasion to alter her conduct ;
and as for my not maintaining her, when I could
not maintain her longer she would find some way or
other to maintain herself.
Some time after the first rattle of this kind, she
vouchsafed to let me know that she was pleased to be
with child. I was at first glad of it, in hopes it
would help to abate her madness ; but it was all one,
and her being with child only added to the rest, for
she made such preparations for her lying-in, and the
other appendixes of a child's being born, that, in
short, I found she would be downright distracted.
[36]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
And I took the liberty to tell her one day that she
would soon bring herself and me to destruction, and
entreated her to consider that such figures as those
were quite above us, and out of our circle ; and, in
short, that I neither could nor would allow such ex
penses ; that, at this rate, two or three children
would effectually ruin me, and that I desired her to
consider what she was doing.
She told me, with an air of disdain, that it was
none of her business to consider anything of that
matter; that if I could not allow it, she would al
low it herself, and I might do my worst.
I begged her to consider things for all that, and
not drive me to extremities ; that I married her to
love and cherish her, and use her as a good wife
ought to be used, but not to be ruined and undone
by her. In a word, nothing could mollify her, nor
any argument persuade her to moderation, but withal
she took it so heinously that I should pretend to
restrain her, that she told me in so many words she
would drop her burthen with me, and then, if I did
not like it, she would take care of herself; she
would not live with me an hour, for she would not
be restrained, not she ; and talked a long while at
that rate.
I told her, as to her child, which she called her
burthen, it should be no burthen to me ; as to the
rest, she might do as she pleased ; it might, how-
[37]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
ever, do me this favour, that I should have no more
lyings in at the rate of 136 at a time, as I found
she intended it should be now. She told me she
could not tell that ; if she had no more by me, she
hoped she should by somebody else. ** Say you so,
madam ? " said I. " Then they that get them shall
keep them." She did not know that neither, she
said, and so turned it off jeering, and, as it were,
laughing at me.
This last discourse nettled me, I must confess,
and the more because I had a great deal of it and
very often, till, in short, we began at length to enter
into a friendly treaty about parting.
Nothing could be more criminal than the several
discourses we had upon this subject. She demanded
a separate maintenance, and, in particular, at the
rate of ,^300 a year, and I demanded security of her
that she should not run me in debt. She demanded
the keeping of the child, with an allowance of 100
a year for that, and I demanded that I should be
secured from being charged for keeping any she
might have by somebody else, as she had threatened
me.
In the interval, and during these contests, she
dropped her burthen (as she called it), and brought
me a son, a very fine child.
She was content during her lying-in to abate a
little, though it was but a very little indeed, of the
[38]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
great expense she had intended, and, with some diffi
culty and persuasion, was content with a suit of
child-bed linen of 15 instead of one she had in
tended of threescore ; and this she magnified as a
particular testimony of her condescension and a
yielding to my avaricious temper, as she called it.
But after she was up again, it was the same thing,
and she went on with her humour to that degree
that in a little time she began to carry it on to other
excesses, and to have a sort of fellows come to visit
her, which I did not like, and once, in particular,
stayed abroad all night. The next day, when she
came home, she began to cry out first ; told me
where (as she said) she lay, and that the occasion
was a christening, where the company had a feast
and stayed too late ; that, if I was dissatisfied, I
might inform myself there of all the particulars,
where she lay, and the like. I told her coldly,
" Madam, you do well to suggest my being dissatis
fied, for you may be sure I am, and you could expect
no other ; that as to going to your haunts to inform
myself, that is not my business : it is your business
to bring testimonies of your behaviour, and to prove
where you lay, and in what company. It is enough
to me that you lay out of your own house, without
your husband's knowledge or consent, and before you
and I converse again I must have some satisfaction
of the particulars."
[39]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
She answered, with all her heart ; she was as in
different as I ; and since I took so ill her lying at a
friend's house on an extraordinary occasion, she gave
me to understand that it was what she would have
me expect, and what she would have the liberty to
do when she thought fit.
" Well, madam," said I, " if I must expect what I
cannot allow, you must expect I shall shut my doors
by day against those that keep out of them at
night."
She would try me, she said, very speedily; and
if I shut the doors against her, she would find a way
to make me open them.
" Well, madam," says I, " you threaten me hard,
but I would advise you to consider before you take
such measures, for I shall be as good as my word."
However, it was not long that we could live together
upon these terms ; for I found very quickly what
company she kept, and that she took a course which
I ought not to bear. So I began the separation first,
and refused her my bed. We had indeed refrained
all converse as husband and wife for about two
months before, for I told her very plainly I would
father no brats that were not of my own getting ;
and matters coming thus gradually to an extremity,
too great to continue as it was, she went off* one
afternoon, and left me a line in writing, signifying
that affairs had come to such a pass between us that
[40]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
she did not think fit to give me the opportunity of
shutting her out of doors, and that therefore she
had retired herself to such a place, naming a rela
tion of her own, as scandalous as herself; and that
she hoped I would not give her the trouble to sue
for her support in the ordinary course of law, but
that, as her occasions required, she should draw bills
upon me, which she expected I would not refuse.
I was extremely satisfied with this proceeding,
and took care to let her hear of it, though I gave
no answer at all to her letter ; and as I had taken
care before that whenever she played such a prank
as this, she should not be able to carry much with
her, so, after she was gone, I immediately broke up
house-keeping, sold my furniture by public outcry,
and in it everything in particular that was her own,
and set a bill upon my door, giving her to under
stand by it that she had passed the Rubicon, that
as she had taken such a step of her own accord, so
there was no room left her ever to think of coming
back again.
This was what any one may believe I should not
have done if I had seen any room for a reformation ;
but she had given me such testimonies of a mind
alienated from her husband, in particular espousing
her own unsufferable levity, that there was indeed
no possibility of our coming afterwards to any terms
again.
[41]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
However, I kept a couple of trusty agents so near
her that I failed not to have a full account of her
conduct, though I never let her know anything of
me but that I was gone over to France. As to her
bills which she said she would draw upon me, she
was as good as her word in drawing one of ,^30,
which I refused to accept, and never gave her leave
to trouble me with another.
It is true, and I must acknowledge it, that all this
was a very melancholy scene o*f life to me, and but
that she took care by carrying herself to the last
degree provoking, and continually to insult me, I
could never have gone on to the parting with so
much resolution ; for I really loved her very sin
cerely, and could have been anything but a beggar
and a cuckold with her, but those were intolerable
to me, especially as they were put upon me with so
much insult and rudeness.
But my wife carried it at last to a point that
made all things light and easy to me, for after above
a year's separation, and keeping such company as she
thought fit, she was pleased to be with child again,
in which she had, however, so much honesty as not
to pretend that she had had anything to do with
me. What a wretched life she led after this, and
how she brought herself to the utmost extremity of
misery and distress, I may speak of hereafter.
I had found, soon after our parting, that I had a
[42]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
great deal of reason to put myself into a posture at
first not to be imposed upon by her ; for I found
very quickly that she had run herself into debt in
several places very considerably, and that it was
upon a supposition that I was liable to those debts.
But I was gone, and it was absolutely necessary
I should do so ; upon which she found herself
obliged, out of her wicked gains, however, whatever
she made of them, to discharge most of those debts
herself.
As soon as she was delivered of her child, in which
my intelligence was so good that I had gotten suffi
cient proof of it, I sued her in the ecclesiastical court,
in order to obtain a divorce j and as she found it im
possible to avoid it, so she declined the defence, and
I gained a legal decree, or what they call it, of
divorce, in the usual time of such process ; and now
I thought myself a free man once again, and began
to be sick of wedlock with all my heart.
I lived retired, because I knew she had contracted
debts which I should be obliged to pay, and I was
resolved to be gone out of her reach with what speed
I could. But it was necessary that I should stay till
the Virginia fleet came in, because I looked for at
least three hundred hogsheads of tobacco from
thence, which I knew would heal all my breaches ;
for indeed the extravagance of three years with this
lady had sunk me most effectually, even far beyond
[*.]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
her own fortune, which was considerable, though not
quite dP1500, as she had called it.
But all the mischiefs I met with on account of
this match were not over yet ; for when I had been
parted with her about three months, and had re
fused to accept her bill of 30, which I mentioned
above, though I was removed from my first lodgings
too, and thought I had effectually secured myself
from being found out, yet there came a gentleman
well dressed to my lodgings one day, and was let in
before I knew of it, or else I should scarce have
admitted him. *
He was led into a parlour, and I came down to
him in my gown and slippers. When I came into
the room he called me as familiarly by my name as
if he had known me twenty years, and pulling out
a pocket-book, he shows me a bill upon me, drawn
by my wife, which was the same bill for 20 that I
had refused before.
" Sir," says I, " this bill has been presented be
fore, and I gave my answer to it then."
" Answer, sir ! " says he, with a kind of jeering,
taunting air. " I do not understand what you mean
by an answer ; it is not a question, sir ; it is a bill to
be paid."
" Well, sir," says I, " it is a bill ; I know that, and
I gave my answer to it before."
" Sir, sir," says he very saucily, " your answer !
[44]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
There is no answer to a bill ; it must be paid. Bills
are to be paid, not to be answered. They say you
are a merchant, sir ; merchants always pay their
bills."
I began to be angry too a little, but I did not
like my man, for I found he began to be quarrelsome.
However, I said, " Sir, I perceive you are not much
used to presenting bills. Sir, a bill is always first
presented, and presenting is a question ; it is asking
if I will accept or pay the bill, and then whether I
say yes or no, it is an answer one way or other.
After "t is accepted, it indeed requires no more an
swer but payment when 't is due. If you please to
inform yourself, this is the usage which all merchants
or tradesmen of any kind who have bills drawn upon
them act by."
" Well, sir, 11 says he, " and what then ? What is
this to the paying me the 30 ? "
" Why, sir," says I, " it is this to it, that I told
the person that brought it I should not pay it."
* v Not pay it ! " says he. " But you shall pay it ;
ay, ay, you will pay it. 11
"She that draws it has no reason to draw any
bills upon me, I am sure, 11 said I ; " and I shall pay
no bills she draws, I assure you. 11
Upon this he turns short upon me : " Sir, she that
draws this bill is a person of too much honour to
draw any bill without reason, and 't is an affront to
[45]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
say so of her, and I shall expect satisfaction of you
for that by itself. But first the bill, sir the bill ;
you must pay the bill, sir."
I returned as short : " Sir, I affront nobody. I
know the person as well as you, I hope ; and what
I have said of her is no affront. She can have no
reason to draw bills upon me, for I owe her nothing."
I omit intermingling the oaths he laced his speech
with, as too foul for my paper. But he told me he
would make me know she had friends to stand by her,
that I had abused her, and he would let me know it,
and do her justice. But first I must pay his bill.
I answered, in short, I would not pay the bill, nor
any bills she should draw.
With that he steps to the door and shuts it, and
swore by G d he would make me pay the bill
before we parted, and laid his hand upon his sword,
but did not draw it out.
I confess I was frighted to the last degree, for I
had no sword ; and if I had, I must own that, though
I had learned a great many good things in France to
make me look like a gentleman, I had forgot the
main article of learning how to use a sword, a thing
so universally practised there ; and, to say more, I
had been perfectly unacquainted with quarrels of
this nature ; so that I was perfectly surprised when
he shut the door, and knew not what to say or do.
However, as it happened, the people of the house,
[46]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
hearing us pretty loud, came near the door, and
made a noise in the entry to let me know they were
at hand ; and one of the servants, going to open the
door, and finding it locked, called out to me, " Sir,
for God's sake open the door ! What is the matter ?
Shall we fetch a constable?" I made no answer,
but it gave me courage ; so I sat down composed in
one of the chairs, and said to him, "Sir, this is not
the way to make me pay the bill ; you had much
better be easy, and take your satisfaction another
way."
He understood me of fighting, which, upon my
word, was not in my thoughts ; but I meant that he
had better take his course at law.
" With all my heart," says he ; " they say you are
a gentleman, and they call you colonel. Now, if
you are a gentleman, I accept your challenge, sir ;
and if you will walk out with me, I will take it for
full payment of the bill, and will decide it as gentle
men ought to do."
" I challenge you, sir ! " said I. " Not I ; I made
no challenge," I said. " This is not the way to make
me pay a bill that I have not accepted ; that is, that
you had better seek your satisfaction at law."
" Law ! " says he 4 " law ! Gentlemen's law is my
law. In short, sir, you shall pay me or fight me."
And then, as if he had mistaken, he turns short upon
me, " Nay," says he, " you shall both fight me and
[47]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
pay me, for I will maintain her honour ; " and in
saying this he bestowed about six or seven " damme's "
and oaths, by way of parenthesis.
This interval delivered me effectually, for just at
the words " fight me, for I will maintain her honour,"
the maid had brought in a constable, with three or
four neighbours to assist him.
He heard them come in, and began to be a little
in a rage, and asked me if I intended to mob him in
stead of paying ; and laying his hand on his sword,
told me, if any man offered to break in upon him, he
would run me through the first moment, that he
might have the fewer to deal with afterwards.
I told him he knew I had called for no help (be
lieving he could not be in earnest in what he had
said), and that, if anybody attempted to come in
upon us, it was to prevent the mischief he threatened,
and which he might see I had no weapons to resist.
Upon this the constable called, and charged us
both in the king's name to open the door. I was
sitting in a chair, and offered to rise. He made a
motion as if he would draw, upon which I sat down
again, and the door not being opened, the constable
set his foot against it and came in.
" Well, sir,"" says my gentleman, " and what now ?
What 's your business here ? " " Nay, sir,"" says the
constable, "you see my business. I am a peace-
officer ; all I have to do is to keep the peace, and I
[48]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
find the people of the house frightened for fear of
mischief between you, an.d they have fetched me to
prevent it. 11 " What mischief have they supposed
you should find ? " says he. " I suppose," says the
constable, " they were afraid you should fight."
" That "s because they did not know this fellow here.
He never fights. They call him colonel," says he.
" I suppose he might be born a colonel, for I dare
say he was born a coward ; he never fights ; he dares
not see a man. If he would have fought, he would
have walked out with me, but he scorns to be brave ;
they would never have talked to you of fighting if
they had known him. I tell you, Mr. Constable, he
is a coward, and a coward is a rascal ; " and with
that he came to me, and stroked his finger down my
nose pretty hard, and laughed and mocked most
horribly, as if I was a coward. Now, for aught I
knew, it might be true, but I was now what they
call a coward made desperate, which is one of the
worst of men in the world to encounter with ; for,
being in a fury, I threw my head in his face, and
closing with him, threw him fairly on his back by
mere strength ; and had not the constable stepped in
and taken me off, I had certainly stamped him to
death with my feet, for my blood was now all in a
flame, and the people of the house were frighted now
as much the other way, lest I should kill him, though
I had no weapon at all in my hand.
VOL. n. 4 [ 49 ]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
The constable too reproved me in his turn ; but
I said to him, " Mr. Constable, do you not think I
am sufficiently provoked ? Can any man bear such
things as these ? I desire to know who this man is
and who sent him hither. 1 '
" I am," says he, " a gentleman, and come with a
bill to him for money, and he refuses to pay it."
" Well," says the constable very prudently, " that is
none of my business ; I am no justice of the peace to
hear the cause. Be that among yourselves, but keep
your hands off one another, and that is as much as
I desire; and therefore, sir," says the constable to
him, " if I may advise you, seeing he will not pay
the bill, and that must be decided between you as
the law directs, I would have you leave it for the
present and go quietly away."
He made many impertinent harangues about the
bill, and insisted that it was drawn by my own wife.
I said angrily, "Then it was drawn by a whore."
He bullied me upon that, told me I durst not tell
him so anywhere else ; so I answered, " I would very
soon publish her for a whore to all the world, and
cry her down ; " and thus we scolded for near half-
an-hour, for I took courage when the constable was
there, for I knew that he would keep us from fight
ing, which indeed I had no mind to, and so at length
I got rid of him.
I was heartily vexed at this rencounter, and the
[50]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
more because I had been found out in my lodging,
which I thought I had effectually concealed. How
ever, I resolved to remove the next day, and in the
meantime I kept within doors all that day till the
evening, and then I went out in order not to return
thither any more.
Being come out into Gracechurch Street, I ob
served a man follow me, with one of his legs tied up
in a string, and hopping along with the other, and
two crutches ; he begged for a farthing, but I inclin
ing not to give him anything, the fellow followed
me still, till I came to a court, when I answered
hastily to him, " I have nothing for you ! Pray do
not be so troublesome ! " with which words he
knocked me down with one of his crutches.
Being stunned with the blow, I knew nothing
what was done to me afterwards ; but coming to
myself again, I found I was wounded very fright
fully in several places, and that among the rest my
nose was slit upwards, one of my ears cut almost off,
and a great cut with a sword on the side of the fore
head ; also a stab into the body, though not dan
gerous.
Who had been near me, or struck me, besides the
cripple that struck me with his crutch, I knew not,
nor do I know to this hour; but I was terribly
wounded, and lay bleeding on the ground some time,
till, coming to myself, I got strength to cry out for
[51]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
help, and people coming about me, I got some hands
to cany me to my lodging, where I lay by it more
than two months before I was well enough to go out
of doors ; and when I did go out, I had reason to
believe that I was waited for by some rogues, who
watched an opportunity to repeat the injury I had
met with before.
This made me very uneasy, and I resolved to get
myself out of danger if possible, and to go over to
France, or home, as I called it, to Virginia, so to be
out of the way of villains and assassinations ; for
every time I stirred out here I thought I went in
danger of my life ; and therefore, as before, I went
out at night, thinking to be concealed, so now I
never went out but in open day, that I might be
safe, and never without one or two servants to be
my lifeguard.
But I must do my wife a piece of justice here too,
and that was, that, hearing what had befallen me,
she wrote me a letter, in which she treated me more
decently than she had been wont to do. She said
she was very sorry to hear how I had been used, and
the rather because she understood it was on present
ing her bill to me. She said she hoped I could not,
in my worst dispositions, think so hardly of her as
to believe it was done by her knowledge or consent,
much less by her order or direction ; that she ab
horred such things, and protested, if she had the
[52]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
least knowledge or so much as a guess at the villains
concerned, she would discover them to me. She let
me know the person's name to whom she gave the
bill, and where he lived, and left it to me to oblige
him to discover the person who had brought it and
used me so ill, and wished I might find him and
bring him to justice, and have him punished with
the utmost severity of the law.
I took this so kindly of my wife that I think in
my conscience, had she come after it herself to see
how I did, I had certainly taken her again ; but she
satisfied herself with the civility of another letter,
and desiring me to let her know as often as I could
how I was ; adding that it would be infinitely to
her satisfaction to hear I was recovered of the hurt
I had received, and that he was hanged at Tyburn
who had done it.
She used some expressions signifying, as I under
stood them, her affliction at our parting and her con
tinued respect for me ; but did not make any motion
towards returning. Then she used some arguments
to move me to pay her bills, intimating that she had
brought me a large fortune, and now had nothing to
subsist on, which was very severe.
I wrote her an answer to this letter, though I had
not to the other, letting her know how I had been
used ; that I was satisfied, upon her letter, that she
bad no hand in it ; that it was not in her nature to
[53]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
treat me so, who had never injured her, used any
violence with her, or been the cause or desire of our
parting ; that, as to her bill, she could not but know
how much her expensive way of living had straitened
and reduced me, and would, if continued, have ruined
me ; that she had in less than three years spent more
than as much as she brought to me, and would not
abate her expensive way, though calmly entreated by
me, with protestations that I could not support so
great an expense, but chose rather to break up her
family and go from me than to restrain herself to
reasonable limits ; though I used no violence with
her, but entreaties and earnest persuasions, backed
with good reason ; letting her know how my estate
was, and convincing her that it must reduce us to
poverty at least ; that, however, if she would recall
her bill, I would send her 30, which was the sum
mentioned in her bill, and, according to my ability,
would not let her want, if she pleased to live within
due bounds ; but then I let her know also that I
had a very bad account of her conduct, and that she
kept company with a scandalous fellow, who I named
to her; that I was loth to believe such things of
her, but that, to put an entire end to the report and
restore her reputation, I let her know that still, after
all I heard, if she would resolve to live without re
straints, within the reasonable bounds of my capacity,
and treat me with the same kindness, affection, and
[54]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
tenderness as I always had treated her, and ever
would, I was willing to receive her again, and would
forget all that was past ; but that, if she declined
me now, it would be for ever ; for if she did not
accept my offer, I was resolved to stay here no
longer, where I had been so ill-treated on many
occasions, but was preparing to go into my own
country, where I would spend my days in quiet, and
in a retreat from the world.
She did not give such an answer to this as I ex
pected ; for though she thanked me for the 30, yet
she insisted upon her justification in all other points ;
and though she did not refuse to return to me, yet
she did not say she accepted it, and, in short, said
little or nothing to it, only a kind of claim to a
reparation of her injured reputation, and the like.
This gave me some surprise at first, for I thought,
indeed, any woman in her circumstances would have
been very willing to have put an end to all her
miseries, and to the reproach which was upon her,
by a reconciliation, especially considering she sub
sisted at that time but very meanly. But there was
a particular reason which prevented her return, and
which she could not plead to in her letter, yet was a
good reason against accepting an offer which she
would otherwise have been glad of; and this was,
that, as I have mentioned above, she 'had fallen into
bad company, and had prostituted her virtue to
[55]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
some of her flatterers, and, in short, was with child ;
so that she durst not venture to accept my offer.
However, as I observed above, she did not abso
lutely refuse it, intending (as I understood afterward)
to keep the treaty of it on foot till she could drop
her burthen, as she had called it before, and having
been delivered privately, have accepted my proposal
afterward ; and, indeed, this was the most prudent
step she could take, or, as we may say, the only step
she had left to take. But I was too many for her
here too. My intelligence about her was too good
for her to conceal such an affair from me, unless she
had gone away before she was visibly big, and unless
she had gone farther off too than she did ; for I had
an account to a tittle of the time when, and place
where, and the creature of which she was delivered ;
and then my offers of taking her again were at an
end, though she wrote me several very penitent
letters, acknowledging her crime and begging me to
forgive her. But my spirit was above all that now,
nor could I ever bear the thoughts of her after that,
but pursued a divorce, and accordingly obtained it,
as I have mentioned already.
Things being at this pass, I resolved, as I have
observed before, to go over to France, after I had
received my effects from Virginia ; and accordingly I
came to Dunkirk in the year , and here I fell
into company with some Irish officers of the regi-
[56]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
ment of Dillon, who by little and little entered ma
into the army, and by the help of Lieutenant-General
, an Irishman, and some money, I obtained a
company in his regiment, and so went into the army
directly.
I was exceeding pleased with my new circum
stances, and now I used to say to myself I was come
to what I was born to, and that I had never till now
lived the life of a gentleman.
Our regiment, after I had been some time in it,
was commanded into Italy, and one of the most con
siderable actions that I was in was the famous at
tack upon Cremona, in the Milanese, where the
Germans, being privately and by treachery let into
the town in the night through a kind of common
sewer, surprised the town and got possession of the
greatest part of it, surprising the mareschal, Duke
de Villeroi, and taking him prisoner as he came out
of his quarters, and beating the few French troops
which were left in the citadel ; but were in the
middle of their victory so boldly and resolutely at
tacked by two Irish regiments who were quartered
in the street leading to the river Po, and who kept
possession of the water-gate, or Po gate, of the town,
by which the German reinforcements should have
come in, that, after a most desperate fight, the Ger
mans had their victory wrung out of their hands,
and not being able to break through us to let in
[57]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
their friends, were obliged at length to quit the
town again, to the eternal honour of those Irish regi
ments, and indeed of their whole nation, and for
which we had a very handsome compliment from the
king of France.
I now had the satisfaction of knowing, and that
for the first time too, that I was not that cowardly,
low-spirited wretch that I was when the fellow bul
lied me in my lodgings about the bill of 30. Had
he attacked me now, though in the very same condi
tion, I should, naked and unarmed as I was, have
flown in the face of him and trampled him under my
feet. But men never know themselves till they are
tried, and courage is acquired by time and experience
of things.
Philip de Comines tells us that, after the battle
of Monteleri, the Count de Charolois, who till then
had an utter aversion to the war, and abhorred it and
everything that belonged to it, was so changed by
the glory he obtained in that action, and by the
flattery of those about him, that afterwards the army
was his mistress and the fatigues of the war his chief
delight. It is too great an example for me to bring
in my own case, but so it was, that they flattered me
so with my bravery, as they called it, on the occa
sion of this action, that I fancied myself brave,
whether I was so or not, and the pride of it made me
bold and daring to the last degree on all occasions.
[58]
But what added to it was, that somebody gave a
particular account to the Court of my being instru
mental to the saving the city, and the whole Cremo-
nese, by my extraordinary defence of the Po gate,
and by my managing that defence after the lieutenant-
colonel who commanded the party where I was posted
was killed ; upon which the king sent me a public
testimony of his accepting my service, and sent me a
brevet to be lieutenant-colonel, and the next courier
brought me actually a commission for lieutenant-
colonel in the regiment of .
I was in several skirmishes and petty encounters
before this, by which I gained the reputation of a
good officer ; but I happened to be in some particular
posts too, by which I got somewhat that I liked
much better, and that was a good deal of money.
Our regiment was sent from France to Italy by
sea. We embarked at Toulon, and landed at Savona,
in the territory of Genoa, and marched from thence
to the duchy of Milan. At the first town we were
sent to take possession of, which was Alexandria, the
citizens rose upon our men in a most furious manner,
and drove the whole garrison, which consisted of
eight hundred men that is, French and soldiers
in the French service 'quite out of the town.
I was quartered in a burgher's house, just by one
of the ports, with eight of my men and a servant,
where, calling a short council with my men, we were
[59]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
resolved to maintain the house we were in, whatever
it cost, till we received orders to quit it from the
commanding officer. Upon this, when I saw our
men could not stand their ground in the street,
being pressed hard by the citizens, I turned out of
doors all the family, and kept the house as a castle,
which I was governor in ; and as the house joined to
the city gate, I resolved to maintain it, so as to be
the last that should quit the place, my own retreat
being secured by being so near the port.
Having thus emptied the house of the inhabitants,
we made no scruple of filling our pockets with what
ever we could find there. In a word, we left nothing
we could carry away, among which it came to my
lot to dip into the burgher's cabinet whose house it
was where we were, and there I took about the quan
tity of two hundred pistoles in money and plate,
and other things of value. There was great com
plaint made to Prince Vaudemont, who was then
governor of the Milanese, of this violence. But as
the repulse the citizens gave us was contrary to his
order, and to the general design of the prince, who
was then wholly in the interest of King Philip, the
citizens could obtain nothing ; and I found that if
we had plundered the whole city it would have been
the same thing ; for the governor had orders to take
our regiment in, and it was an act of open rebellion
to resist us as they did. However, we had orders
[60]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
not to fire upon the burghers, unless constrained
to it by evident necessity, and we rather chose to
quit the place as we did than dispute it with a des
perate body of fellows, who wanted no advantage of
us, except only that of having possession of two
bastions and one port of our retreat. First, they
were treble our number ; for the burghers, being
joined by seven companies of the regular troops,
made up above sixteen hundred men, besides rabble,
which was many more, whereas we were about eight
hundred in all ; they also had the citadel and several
pieces of cannon, so that we could have made nothing
of it if we had attacked them. But they submitted
three or four days after to other forces, the soldiers
within turning upon them and taking the citadel
from them.
After this we lay still in quarters eight months.
For the prince, having secured the whole Milanese for
King Philip, and no enemy appearing for some time,
had nothing to do but to receive the auxiliary
troops of France, and as they came, extend himself
every way as he could, in order to keep the imperial
ists (who were preparing to fall into Italy with a
great army) as much at a distance as possible, which
he did by taking possession of the city of Mantua,
and of most of the towns on that side, as far as the
Lake De la Guarda and the river Adige.
We lay in Mantua some time, but were afterwards
[61]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
drawn out by order of the Count de Tesse (after
wards Marshal of France), to form the French army,
till the arrival of the Duke de Vendome, who was to
command in chief. Here we had a severe campaign,
anno 1701, having Prince Eugene of Savoy and an
army of forty thousand Germans, all old soldiers, to
deal with ; and though the French army was more
numerous than the enemy by twenty-five thousand
men, yet, being on the defensive, and having so
many posts to cover, not knowing exactly where the
Prince of Savoy, who commanded the imperial army,
would attack us, it obliged the French to keep their
troops so divided and so remote from one another
that the Germans pushed on their design with great
success, as the histories of those times more fully
relate.
I was at the action of Carpi, July 1701, where we
were worsted by the Germans ; indeed, were forced
to quit our encampment and give up to the prince
the whole river Adige, and where our regiment sus
tained some loss. But the enemies got little by us,
and Monsieur Catinat, who commanded at that
time, drew up in order of battle the next day in
sight of the German army, and gave them a de
fiance; but they would not stir, though we offered
them battle two days together ; for, having gained
the passage over the Adige by our quitting Rivoli,
which was then useless to us, their business was done.
[68]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Finding they declined a decisive action, our
generals pressed them in their quarters, and made
them fight for every inch of ground they gained ;
and at length, in the September following, we at
tacked them in their intrenched posts of Chiar.
Here we broke into the very heart of their camp,
where we made a very terrible slaughter. But I
know not by what mistake among our generals, or
defect in the execution of their orders, the brigade
of Normandy and our Irish Brigade, who had so
bravely entered the German intrenchments, were not
supported as we should have been, so that we were
obliged to sustain the shock of the whole German
army, and at last to quit the advantage we had
gained, and that not without loss ; but, being
timely reinforced by a great body of horse, the
enemy were in their turn beaten off too, and driven
back into their very camp. The Germans boasted
of having a great victory here, and indeed, in re
pulsing us after we had gained their camp, they had
the advantage. But had Monsieur de Tesse suc
coured us in time, as old Catinat said he ought to
have done, with twelve thousand foot which he had
with him, that day's action had put an end to the
war, and Prince Eugene must have been glad to
have gone back to Germany in more haste than he
came, if, perhaps, we had not cut him short by the
way.
[63]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
But the fate of things went another way, and the
Germans continued all that campaign to push for
ward and advance one post after another, till they
beat us quite out of the Milanese.
The latter part of this campaign we made only a
party war, the French, according to their volatile
temper, being every day abroad, either foraging or
surprising the enemy's foragers, plundering or cir
cumventing the plunders of the other side. But
they very often came short home, for the Germans
had the better of them on several occasions ; and
indeed so many lost their lives upon these petty
encounters that I think, including those who died
of distempers gotten by hard service and bad quar
ters, lying in the field even till the middle of Decem
ber among rivers and bogs, in a country so full of
canals and rivers as that part of Italy is known to
be ; J say, we lost more men, and so did the enemy
also, than would have been lost in a general decisive
battle.
The Duke of Savoy, to give him his due, pressed
earnestly to put it to a day and come to a battle
with Prince Eugene; but the Duke de Villeroi,
Monsieur Catinat, and the Count de Tesse were all
against it ; and the principal reason was, that they
knew the weakness of the troops, who had suffered so
much on so many occasions that they were in no
condition to give battle to the Germans. So after,
[64]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
as I say, about three months' harassing one another
with parties, we went into winter quarters.
Before we marched out of the field, our regiment,
with a detachment of dragoons of six hundred, and
about two hundred and fifty horse, went out with a
design to intercept Prince Commercy, a general of
note under Prince Eugene of Savoy. The detach
ment was intended to be only horse and dragoons ;
but because it was the imperialists' 1 good luck to beat
many of our parties, and, as was given out, many
more than we beat of theirs, and because it was be
lieved that the prince, who was an officer of good
note among them, would not go abroad but in very
good company, the Irish regiment of foot was ordered
to be added, that, if possible, they might meet with
their match.
I was commanded, about two hours before, to pass
about two hundred foot and fifty dragoons at a small
wood where our general had intelligence that prince
would post some men to secure his passage, which
accordingly I did. But Count Tesse, not thinking
our party strong enough, had marched himself, with
a thousand horse and three hundred grenadiers, to
support us. And it was very well he did so; for
Prince Commercy, having intelligence of the first
party, came forward sooner than they expected, and
fell upon them, and had entirely routed them had
not the Count, hearing the firing, advanced with the
VOL. n. 5 [ 65 J
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
thousand horse he had, with such expedition as to
support his men in the very heat of the action, by
which means the Germans were defeated and forced
to retire. But the prince made a pretty good re
treat, and after the action came on to the wood
where I was posted ; but the surprise of his defeat
had prevented his sending a detachment to secure
the pass at the wood, as he intended.
The Count de Tesse, understanding that we were
sent, as above, to the wood, followed them close at
the heels, to prevent our being cut off, and, if it were
possible that we should give them any check at the
wood, to fall in and have another brush with them.
It was near night before they came to the wood, by
which means they could not discern our number.
But when they came up to the wood, fifty dragoons
advanced to discover the pass and see if all was clear.
These we suffered to pass a great way into the defile,
or lane, that went through the wood, and then clap
ping in between them and the entrance, cut off their
retreat so effectually that when they discovered us
and fired, they were instantly surrounded and cut in
pieces, the officers who commanded them and eight
dragoons only being made prisoners.
This made the prince halt, not knowing what the
case was or how strong we were, and, to get better
intelligence, sent two hundred hoi-se to surround or
skirt the wood and beat up our quarter, and in the
[66]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
interim the Count de Tesse appeared in his rear.
We found the strait he was in by the noise of our
own troops at a distance ; so we resolved to engage
the two hundred horse immediately. Accordingly
our little troop of horse drew up in the entrance of
the lane and offered to skirmish, and our foot, lying
behind the hedge which went round the wood, stood
ready to act as occasion should offer. The horse,
being attacked, gave way, and retired into the lane ;
but the Germans were too old for us there. They
contented themselves to push us to the entrance, but
would not be drawn into a narrow pass without know
ing whether the hedges were lined or no.
But the prince, finding the French in his rear, and
not being strong enough to engage again, resolved to
force his way through, and commanded his dragoons
to alight and enter the wood, to clear the hedges on
either side the lane, that he might pass with his
cavalry. This they did so vigorously, and were so
much too strong for us, that though we made good
our ground a long time, yet our men were almost
half of them cut in pieces. However, we gave time
to the French cavalry to come up, and to fall on the
prince's troops and cut them off, and take a great
many prisoners, and then we retreated in our turn,
opening a gap for our own horse to break in. Three
hundred of the dragoons were killed, and two hun
dred of them taken prisoners.
[67]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
In the first heat of this action, a German officer
of dragoons, well followed, had knocked down three
men that stood next me ; and, offering me quarter,
I was obliged to accept it, and gave him my sword ;
for our men were upon the point of quitting their
post and shifting every one as they could. But the
scale was turned, for our cavalry breaking in, as
above, the dragoons went to wreck, and the officer
who had me prisoner, turning to me, said, " We are
all lost." I asked him if I could serve him. " Stand
still a little," says he ; for his men fought most des
perately indeed. But about two hundred French
horse appearing in his rear too, he said to me in
French, "I will be your prisoner," and returning
me my sword, gave me also his own. A dragoon
that stood near him was just going to do the like,
when he was shot dead, and the horse coming up, the
field was cleared in an instant. But Prince Com-
mercy went off with the rest of his party, and was
pursued no farther.
There were sixteen or seventeen of our men re
leased, as I was, from being taken ; but they had not
the luck I had, to take the officer that had them in
keeping. He had been so generous to me as not to
ask what money I had about me, though I had not
much if he had. But I lost by his civility, for then
I could not have the assurance to ask him for his
money, though I understood he had near a hundred
[68]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
pistoles about him. But he very handsomely at
night, when we came to our tents, made me a pres
ent of twenty pistoles, and in return I obtained leave
for him to go to Prince Eugene's camp upon his
parole, which he did, and so got himself exchanged.
It was after this campaign that I was quartered at
Cremona, when the action happened there of which
I have spoken already, and where our Irish regiment
did such service that they saved the town from being
really surprised, and indeed beat the Germans out
again, after they had been masters of three-quarters
of the town six hours, and by which they gained a
very great reputation.
But I hasten on to my own history, for I am not
writing a journal of the wars, in which I had no
long share.
The summer after this our two Irish regiments
were drawn out into the field, and had many a sore
brush with the Germans ; for Prince Eugene, a vigi
lant general, gave us little rest, and gained many
advantages by his continual moving up and down,
harassing his own men and ours too ; and whoever
will do the French justice, and knew how they had
behaved, must acknowledge they never declined the
Germans, but fought them upon all occasions with
the utmost resolution and courage ; and though it
cost the blood of an infinite number of fine gentle
men, as well as private soldiers, yet the Duke de
[69]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Vendome, who now commanded, though King Philip
was himself in the army this campaign, made the
Prince of Savoy a full return in his own kind, and
drove him from post to post, till he was just at the
point of quitting the whole country of Italy. All
that gallant army Prince Eugene brought with him
into Italy, which was the best without doubt, for the
goodness of the troops, that ever were there, laid
their bones in that country, and many thousands more
after them, till, the affairs of France declining in
other places, they were forced in their turn to give
way to their fate, as may be seen in the histories
of those times, as above. But it is none of my
business.
The part that I bore in these affairs was but short
and sharp. We took the field about the beginning
of July 1702, and the Duke de Vendome ordered the
whole army to draw the sooner together, in order to
relieve the city of Mantua, which was blocked up by
the imperialists.
Prince Eugene was a politic, and indeed a for
tunate, prince, and had the year before pushed our
army upon many occasions. But his good fortune
began to fail him a little this year, for our army was
not only more numerous than his, but the duke was
in the field before him ; and as the prince had held
Mantua closely blocked up all the winter, the duke re
solved to relieve the town, cost what it would. As
[70J
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
1 said, the duke was first in the field ; the prince
was in no condition to prevent his raising the block
ade by force ; so he drew off his troops, and leaving
several strong bodies of troops to protect Bersello,
which the Duke de Vendome threatened, and Borgo
Fort, where his magazine lay, he drew all the rest of
his forces together, to make head against us. By
this time the king of Spain was come into the army,
and the Duke de Vendome lay with about thirty-five
thousand men near Luzara, which he had resolved
to attack, to bring Prince Eugene to a battle. The
Prince of Vaudemont lay intrenched with twenty
thousand more at Rivalto, behind Mantua, to cover
the frontiers of Milan, and there was near twelve
thousand in Mantua itself ; and Monsieur Pracontal
lay with ten thousand men just under the cannon
of one of the forts which guard the causeway which
leads into the city of Mantua ; so that, had all these
joined, as they would have done in a few days more,
the prince must have been put to his shifts, and
would have had enough to do to have maintained
himself in Italy ; for he was master of no one place
in the country that could have held out a formal
siege of fifteen days' open trenches, and he knew all
this very well ; and therefore it seems, while the Duke
of Vendome resolved, if possible, to bring him to a
battle, and to that end made dispositions to attack
Luzara, we were surprised to find, the 15th of June
[71]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
1702, the whole imperial army appeared in battalia,
and in full inarch, to attack us.
As it happened, our army was all marching in
columns towards them, as we had done for two days
before ; and I should have told you that, three days
before, the duke having noticed that General Vis-
conti, with three imperial regiments of horse
and one of dragoons, was posted at San -Victoria,
on the Tessona, he resolved to attack them ; and this
design was carried so secretly, that while Monsieur
Visconti, though our army was three leagues another
way, was passing towards the Modenese, he found
himself unexpectedly attacked by six thousand horse
and dragoons of the French army. He defended
himself very bravely for near an hour ; when, being
overpowered, and finding he should be forced into
disorder, he sounded a retreat. But the squadrons
had not faced about to make their retreat scarce a
quarter of an hour, when they found themselves
surrounded with a great body of infantry, who had
entirely cut off their retreat, except over the bridge
of Tessona, which being thronged with their bag
gage, they could neither get backward or forward ;
so they thrust and tumbled over one another in
such a manner that they could preserve no kind
of order ; but abundance fell into the river and
were drowned, many were killed, and more taken
prisoners ; so that, in a word, the whole three regi-
[72J
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
ments of horse and one of dragoons were entirely
defeated.
This was a great blow to the prince, because they
were some of the choicest troops of his whole army.
We took about four hundred prisoners, and all their
baggage, which was a very considerable booty, and
about eight hundred horses ; and no doubt these
troops were very much wanted in the battle that en
sued on the loth, as I have said. Our army being
in full march, as above, to attack Luzara, a party
of Germans appeared, being about six hundred
horse, and in less than an hour more their whole
army, in order of battle.
Our army formed immediately, and the duke
posted the regiments as they came up so much to
their advantage that Prince Eugene was obliged to
alter his dispositions, and had this particular incon
venience upon his hands, viz., to attack an army
superior to his own, in all their most advantageous
posts ; whereas, had he thought fit to have waited
but one day, we should have met him half-way.
But this was owing to the pride of the German gen
erals, and their being so opinionated of the goodness
of their troops. The royal army was posted with
the left to the great river Po, on the other side of
which the Prince of Vaudemont's army lay cannon
ading the intrenchments which the imperialists had
made at Borgo Fort ; and hearing that there was
[73]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
like to be a general battle, he detached twelve bat
talions and about a thousand horse, to reinforce the
royal army ; all which, to our great encouragement,
had time to join the army, while Prince Eugene was
making his new dispositions for the attack. And
yet it was the coming of these troops which caused
Prince Eugene to resolve to begin the fight, expect
ing to have come to an action before they could
come up. But he was disappointed in the reason of
fighting, and yet was obliged to fight too, which
was an error in the prince that it was too late to
retrieve.
It was five o'clock in the evening before he could
bring up his whole line to engage ; and then, after
having cannonaded us to no great purpose for half-
an-hour, his right, commanded by the Prince de
Commercy, attacked our left wing with great fury.
Our men received them so well and seconded one
another so punctually that they were repulsed with
a very great slaughter ; and the Prince de Commercy
being, unhappily for them, killed in the first onset,
the regiments, for want of orders, and surprised with
the fall of so great a man, were pushed into disorder,
and one whole brigade was entirely broke.
But their second line, advancing under General
Herbeville, restored things in the first. The battal
ions rallied, and they came boldly on to charge a
second time, and being seconded with new reinforce-
[74]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
ments from their main body, our men had their turn,
and were pushed to a canal which lay on their left
flank between them and the Po, behind which they
rallied ; and being supported by new troops, as well
horse as foot, they fought on both sides with the
utmost obstinacy, and with such courage and skill
that it was not possible to judge who should have
had the better could they have been able to have
fought it out.
On the right of the royal army was posted the
flower of the French cavalry namely, the gen
darmes, the royal carbineers, and the queen's horse-
guards, with four hundred horse more and next
them the infantry, among which were our brigade.
The horse advanced first to charge, and they carried
all before them sword in hand, receiving the fire of two
imperial regiments of cuirassiers without firing a shot,
and falling in among them, bore them down by the
strength of their horses, putting them into confu
sion, and left so clear a field for us to follow that
the first line of our infantry stood drawn up upon
the ground which the enemy at first possessed.
In this first attack the Marquis de Crequi, who
commanded the whole right wing, was killed a loss
which fully balanced the death of the Prince de
Com mercy on the side of the Germans. After we
had thus pushed the enemy's cavalry, as above, their
troops, being rallied by the dexterity of their generals
[75]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
and supported by three imperial regiments of foot,
came on again to the charge with such fury that
nothing could withstand them. And here two bat
talions of our Irish regiments were put into disorder,
and abundance of our men killed ; and here also I
had the misfortune to receive a musket-shot, which
broke my left arm ; and that was not all, for I was
knocked down by a giant-like German soldier, who,
when he thought he had killed me, set his foot upon
me, but was immediately shot dead by one of my
men, and fell just upon me, which, my arm being
broken, was a very great mischief to me ; for the
very weight of the fellow, who was almost as big as
a horse, was such that I was not able to stir.
Our men were beaten back after this from the
place where they stood ; and so I was left in posses
sion of the enemy, but was not their prisoner that
is to say, was not found till next morning, when a
party being sent, as usual, with surgeons to look
after the wounded men among the dead, found me
almost smothered with the dead Germans and others
that lay near me. However, to do them justice,
they used me with humanity, and the surgeons set
my arm very skilfully and well ; and four or five days
after, I had liberty to go to Parma upon parole.
Both the armies continued fighting, especially on
our left, till it was so dark that it was impossible to
know who they fired at, or for the generals to see
[76]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
what they did ; so they abated firing gradually, and,
as it may be truly said, the night parted them.
Both sides claimed the victory, and both concealed
their losses as much as it was possible ; but it is cer
tain that never battle was fought with greater bravery
and obstinacy than this was ; and had there been day
light to have fought it out, doubtless there would have
been many thousand more men killed on both sides.
All the Germans had to entitle them to the victory
was, that they made our left retire, as I have said, to
the canal, and to the high banks or mounds on the
edge of the Po ; but they had so much advantage in
the retreat they fired from thence among the thick
est of the enemy, and could never be forced from
their posts.
The best testimony the royal army had of the vic
tory, and which was certainly the better of the two,
was, that, two days after the fight, they attacked
Guastalia, as it were in view of the German army, and
forced the garrison to surrender, and to swear not to
serve again for six months, which, they being fifteen
hundred men, was a great loss to the Germans ; and
yet Prince Eugene did not offer to relieve it. And
after that we took several other posts which the im
perialists had possession of, but were obliged to quit
them upon the approach of the French army, not
being in a condition to fight another battle that
year.
[77]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
My campaign was now at an end, and though I
came lame off, I came off much better than abun
dance of gentlemen ; for in that bloody battle we
had above four hundred officers killed or wounded,
whereof three were general officers.
The campaign held on till December, and the
Duke de Vendome took Borgo Fort and several
other places from the Germans, who, in short, lost
ground every day in Italy. I was a prisoner a great
while, and there being no cartel settled, Prince
Eugene ordered the French prisoners to be sent into
Hungary, which was a cruelty that could not be
reasonably exercised on them. However, a great
many, by that banishment, found means to make
their escape to the Turks, by whom they were kindly
received, and the French ambassador at Constanti
nople took care of them, and shipped them back
again into Italy at the king^s charge.
But the Duke de Vendome now took so many
German prisoners that Prince Eugene was tired of
sending his prisoners to Hungary, and was obliged
to be at the charge of bringing some of them back
again whom he had sent thither, and come to agree
to a general exchange of prisoners.
I was, as I have said, allowed for a time to go
to Parma upon my parole, where I continued for the
recovery of my wound and broken arm forty days,
and was then obliged to render myself to the com-
[78]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
manding officer at Ferrara, where Prince Eugene
coming soon after, I was, with several other prisoners
of war, sent away into the Milanese, to be kept for
an exchange of prisoners.
It was in the city of Trent that I continued about
eight months. The man in whose house I quartered
was exceedingly civil to me, and took a great deal of
care of me, and I lived very easy. Here I contracted
a kind of familiarity, perfectly undesigned by me, with
the daughter of the burgher at whose house I had
lodged, and, I know not by what fatality that was
upon me, I was prevailed with afterwards to marry her.
This was a piece of honesty on my side which I must
acknowledge I never intended to be guilty of; but
the girl was too cunning for me, for she found means
to get some wine into my head more than I used to
drink, and though I was not so disordered with it
but that I knew very well what I did, yet in an un
usual height of good humour I consented to be
married. This impolitic piece of honesty put me
to many inconveniences, for I knew not what to do
with this clog which I had loaded myself with. I
could neither stay with her or take her with me, so
that I was exceedingly perplexed.
The time came soon after that I was released by
the cartel, and so was obliged to go to my regiment,
which then was in quarters in the Milanese, and from
thence I got leave to go to Paris, upon my promise
[79]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
to raise some recruits in England for the Irish regi
ments, by the help of my correspondence there.
Having thus leave to go to Paris, I took a passport
from the enemy^s army to go to Trent, and making
a long circuit, I went back thither, and very honestly
packed up my baggage, wife and all, and brought her
away through Tyrol into Bavaria, and so through
Suabia and the Black Forest into Alsatia ; from
thence I came into Lorraine, and so to Paris.
I had now a secret design to quit the war, for I
really had had enough of fighting. But it was
counted so dishonourable a thing to quit while the
army was in the field that I could not dispense with
it ; but an intervening accident made that part easy
to me. The war was now renewed between France
and England and Holland, just as it was before ; and
the French king, meditating nothing more than how
to give the English a diversion, fitted out a strong
squadron of men-of-war and frigates at Dunkirk, on
board of which he embarked a body of troops of
about six thousand five hundred men, besides volun
teers ; and the new king, as we called him, though
more generally he was called the Chevalier de St.
George, was shipped along with them, and all for
Scotland.
I pretended a great deal of zeal for this service,
and that if I might be permitted to sell my company
in the Irish regiment I was in, and have the cheva-
[80]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
lier's brevet for a colonel, in case of raising troops
for him in Great Britain after his arrival, I would
embark volunteer and serve at my own expense.
The latter gave me a great advantage with the
chevalier ; for now I was esteemed as a man of con
sideration, and one that must have a considerable
interest in my own country. So I obtained leave to
sell my company, and having had a good round sum
of money remitted me from London, by the way of
Holland, I prepared a very handsome equipage, and
away I went to Dunkirk to embark.
I was very well received by the chevalier ; and as
he had an account that I was an officer in the Irish
brigade, and had served in Italy, and consequently
was an old soldier, all this added to the character
which I had before, and made me have a great deal
of honour paid me, though at the same time I had
no particular attachment to his person or to his
cause. Nor indeed did I much consider the cause
of one side or other. If I had, I should hardly have
risked, not my life only, but effects too, which were
all, as I might say, from that moment forfeited to
the English government, and were too evidently in
their power to confiscate at their pleasure.
However, having just received a remittance from
London of 300 sterling, and sold my company in
the Irish regiment for very near as much, I was not
only insensibly drawn in, but was perfectly volunteer
VOL. U. 6 [81]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
,n that dull cause, and away I went with them at all
hazards. It belongs very little to my history to
give an account of that fruitless expedition, only to
tell you that, being so closely and effectually chased
by the English fleet, which was superior in force to
the French, I may say that, in escaping them, I es
caped being hanged.
It was the good fortune of the French that they
overshot the port they aimed at, and intending for
the Frith of Forth, or, as it is called, the Frith of
Edinburgh, the first land they made was as far north
as a place called Montrose, where it was not their
business to land, and so they were obliged to come
back to the frith, and were gotten to the entrance
of it, and came to an anchor for the tide. But this
delay or hindrance gave time to the English, under
Sir George Byng, to come to the frith, and they
came to an anchor, just as we did, only waiting to go
up the frith with the flood.
Had we not overshot the port, as above, all our
squadron had been destroyed in two days, and all we
could have done had been to have gotten into the
pier or haven at Leith with the smaller frigates, and
have landed the troops and ammunition ; but we
must have set fire to the men-of-war, for the English
squadron was not above twenty-four hours behind
us, or thereabout.
Upon this surprise, the French admiral set sail
[82]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
from the north point of the frith where we lay, and
crowding away to the north, got the start of the
English fleet, and made their escape, with the loss of
one ship only, which, being behind the rest, could
not get away.
When we were satisfied the English left chasing
us, which was not till the third night, when we
altered our course and lost sight of them, we stood
over to the coast of Norway, and keeping that shore
on board all the way to the mouth of the Baltic, we
came to an anchor again, and sent two scouts abroad
to learn news, to see if the sea was clear ; and being
satisfied that the enemy did not chase us, we kept
on with an easier sail, and came all back again to
Dunkirk ; and glad I was to set my foot on shore
again ; for all the while we were thus flying for our
lives I was under the greatest terror imaginable, and
nothing but halters and gibbets run in my head,
concluding that, if I had been taken, I should cer
tainly have been hanged.
But the care was now over. I took my leave of
the chevalier, and of the army, and made haste to
Paris. I came so unexpectedly to Paris, and to my
own lodgings, that it was my misfortune to make a
discovery relating to my wife which was not at all to
my satisfaction ; for I found her ladyship had kept
some company that I had reason to believe were not
such as an honest woman ought to have conversed
[88]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
with, and as I knew her temper by what I had found
of her myself, I grew very jealous and uneasy about
her. I must own it touched me very nearly, for I
began to have an extraordinary value for her, and
her behaviour was very taking, especially after I had
brought her into France ; but having a vein of
levity, it was impossible to prevent her running
into such things in a town so full of what they call
gallantry as Paris.
It vexed me also to think that it should be my
fate to be a cuckold both abroad and at home, and
sometimes I would be in such a rage about it that I
had no government of myself when I thought of it.
Whole days, and I may say sometimes whole nights,
I spent musing and considering what I should do to
her, and especially what I should do to the villain,
whoever he was, that had thus abused and sup
planted me. Here indeed I committed murder more
than once, or indeed than a hundred times, in my
imagination ; and, as the devil is certainly an ap
parent prompter to wickedness, if he is not the first
mover of it in our minds, he teased me night and
day with proposals to kill my wife.
This horrid project he carried up so high, by rais
ing fierce thoughts and fomenting the blood upon
my contemplation of the word cuckold, that, in
short, I left debating whether I should murder her
or no, as a thing out of the question, and deter-
[84]
mined ; and my thoughts were then taken up only
with the management how I should kill her, and
how to make my escape after I had done it.
All this while I had no sufficient evidence of her
guilt, neither had I so much as charged her with it
or let her know I suspected her, otherwise than as
she might perceive it in my conduct, and in the
change of my behaviour to her, which was such that
she could not but perceive that something troubled
me. Yet she took no notice of it to me, but re
ceived me very well, and showed herself to be glad
of my return. Nor did I find she had been extrava
gant in her expenses while I was abroad. But
jealousy, as the wise man says, is the wrath of a
man ; her being so good a hussy at what money I
had left her gave my distempered fancy an opinion
that she had been maintained by other people, and
so had had no occasion to spend.
I must confess she had a difficult point here upon
her, though she had been really honest ; for, as my
head was prepossessed of her dishonesty, if she had
been lavish I should have said she had spent it upon
her gentlemen ; and as she had been frugal, I said
she had been maintained by them. Thus, I say, my
head was distempered ; I believed myself abused,
and nothing could put it out of my thoughts night
or day.
All this while it was not visibly broken out
[85]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
between us ; but I was so fully possessed with the
belief of it that I seemed to want no evidence, and I
looked with an evil eye upon everybody that came
near her or that she conversed with. There was an
officer of the Guards du Corps that lodged in the
same house with us, a very honest gentleman and a
man of quality. I happened to be in a little draw
ing-room adjoining to a parlour where my wife sat
at that time, and this gentleman came into the par
lour, which, as he was one of the family, he might
have done without offence ; but he, not knowing
that I was in the drawing-room, sat down and talked
with my wife. I heard every word they said, for
the door between us was open ; nor could I say that
there passed anything between them but cursory dis
course. They talked of casual things, of a young
lady, a burgher's daughter of nineteen, that had
been married the week before to an advocate in the
Parliament of Paris, vastly rich, and about sixty-
three ; and of another, a widow lady of fortune in
Paris, that had married her deceased husband's valet
de chambre ; and of such casual matters, that I could
find no fault with her now at all.
But it filled .my head with jealous thoughts and
fired my temper. Now I fancied he used too much
freedom with her, then that she used too much free
dom to him, and once or twice I was upon the point
of breaking in upon them and affronting them both,
[86]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
out I restrained myself. At length he talked some
thing merrily of the lady throwing away her maiden
head, as I understood it, upon an old man ; but still
it was nothing indecent. But I, who was all on fire
already, could bear it no longer, but started up and
came into the room, and catching at my wife's words,
" Say you so, madam ? "" said I. " Was he too old
for her?" and giving the officer a look that I fancy
was something akin to the face on the sign called
the Bull and Mouth, within Aldersgate, I went out
into the street.
The marquis so he was styled a man of
honour and of spirit too, took it as I meant it, and
followed me in a moment and "hemmed" after me
in the street; upon which I stopped, and he came
up to me. " Sir," said he, " our circumstances are
very unhappy in France, that we cannot do our
selves justice here without the most severe treatment
in the world. But, come on it what will, you must
explain yourself to me on the subject of your be
haviour just now. 1 "
I was a little cooled as to the point of my con
duct to him in the very few moments that had
passed, and was very sensible that I was wrong to
him ; and I said, therefore, to him, very frankly,
" Sir, you are a gentleman whom I know very well,
and I have a very great respect for you ; but I had
been disturbed a little about the conduct of my wife,
[87]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
and were it your own case, what would you have
done less ? "
" I am sorry for any dislike between you and your
wife," says he ; " but what is that to me ? Can you
charge me with any indecency to her, except my
talking so and so? 11 (at which he repeated the
words) ; " and as I knew you were in the next room
and heard every word, and that all the doors were
open, I thought no man could have taken amiss so
innocent an expression. 11
" I could no otherwise take it amiss," said I, " than
as I thought it implied a farther familiarity, and
that you cannot expect should be borne by any man
of honour. However, sir," said I, " I spoke only to
my wife. I said nothing to you, but gave you my
hat as I passed you."
" Yes," said he, " and -a look as full of rage as the
devil. Are there no words in such looks ? "
" I can say nothing to that," said I, " for I cannot
see my own countenance ; but my rage, as you call it,
was at my wife, not at you."
*' But hark you, sir," said he, growing warm as I
grew calm, " your anger at your wife was for her dis
course with me, and I think that concerns me too,
and I ought to resent it."
" I think not, sir," said I ; " nor, had I found you
in bed with my wife, would I have quarrelled with
you ; for if my wife will let you lie with her, it is she
[88]
is the offender. What have I to do with you ? You
could not lie with her if she was not willing ; and if
she is willing to be a whore, I ought to punish her ;
but I should have no quarrel with you. I will lie
with your wife if I can, and then I am even with
you."
I spoke this all in good humour and in order to
pacify him, but it would not do ; but he would have
me give him satisfaction, as he called it. I told him
I was a stranger in the country, and perhaps should
find little mercy in their course of justice ; that it
was not my business to fight any man in his vindi
cating his keeping company with my wife, for that
the injury was mine, in having a bad woman to deal
with ; that there was no reason in the thing, that
after any man should have found the way into my
bed, I, who am injured, should go and stake my life
upon an equal hazard against the man who has
abused me.
Nothing would prevail with this person to be
quiet for all this ; but I had affronted him, and no
satisfaction could be made him but that at the point
of the sword ; so we agreed to go away together to
Lisle, in Flanders. I was now soldier enough not to
be afraid to look a man in the face, and as the rage
at my wife inspired me with courage, so he let fall a
word that fired and provoked me beyond all patience ;
for, speaking of the distrust I had of my wife, he
[89]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
said, unless I had good information I ought not to
suspect my wife. I told him, if I had good informa
tion, I should be past suspicion. He replied, if he
was the happy man, that had so much of her favour,
he would take care then to put me past the suspicion.
I gave him as rough an answer as he could desire,
and he returned in French, " Nous verrons a Lisle ; "
that is to say, " We will talk further of it at Lisle.""
I told him I did not see the benefit either to him
or me of going so far as Lisle to decide this quarrel,
since now I perceived he was the man I wanted ;
that we might decide this quarrel au champ, upon
the spot, and whoever had the fortune to fall the
other might make his escape to Lisle as well after
wards as before.
Thus we walked on talking very ill-naturedly on
both sides, and yet very mannerly, till we came clear
of the suburbs of Paris, on the way to Charenton ;
when, seeing the way clear, I told him under those
trees was a very fit place for us, pointing to a row of
trees adjoining to Monsieur 's garden-wall. So
we went thither, and fell to work immediately.
After some fencing he made a home- thrust at me,
and run me into my arm, a long slanting wound,
but at the same time received my point into his
body, and soon after fell. He spoke some words
before he dropped ; first he told me I had killed him ;
then he said he had indeed wronged me, and as he
[90]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
knew it, he ought not to have fought me. He
desired I would make my escape immediately, which
I did into the city, but no farther, nobody, as I
thought, having seen us together. In the afternoon,
about six hours after the action, messengers brought
news, one on the heels of another, that the marquis
was mortally wounded, and carried into a house at
Charenton. That account, saying he was not dead,
surprised me a little, not doubting but that, con
cluding I had made my escape, he would own who
it was. However, I discovered nothing of my con
cern, but, going up into my chamber, I took out of
a cabinet there what money I had, which indeed
was so much as I thought would be sufficient for my
expenses. But having an accepted bill for two
thousand livres, I walked sedately to a merchant
who knew me, and got fifty pistoles of him upon my
bill, letting him know my business called me to
England, and I would take the rest of him when he
had received it.
Having furnished myself thus, I provided me a horse
for my servant, for I had one very good one of my
own, and once more ventured home to my lodging,
where I heard again that the marquis was not dead.
My wife all this while covered her concern for the mar
quis so well that she gave me no room to make any
remark upon her ; but she saw evidently the marks
of rage and deep resentment in my behaviour after
[91]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
some little stay, and perceiving me making prepar
ation for a journey, she said to me, " Are you going
out of town ? " " Yes, madam," says I, " that you
may have room to mourn for your friend the mar
quis ; " at which she started, and showed she was
indeed in a most terrible fright, and making a thou
sand crosses about herself, with a great many callings
upon the Blessed Virgin and her country saints,
she burst out at last, " Is it possible ? Are you
the man that has killed the marquis ? Then you
are undone, and I too."
" You may, madam, be a loser by the marquis be
ing killed ; but I '11 take care to be as little a loser
by you as I can. T is enough ; the marquis has
honestly confessed your guilt, and I have done with
you." She would have thrown herself into my arms,
protesting her innocence, and told me she would fly
with me, and would convince me of her fidelity by
such testimonies as I could not but be satisfied with,
but I thrust her violently from me.. " Attez^ infame ! "
said I. " Go, infamous creature, and take from me
the necessity I should be under, if I stayed, of send
ing you to keep company with your dear friend the
marquis." I thrust her away with such force that
she fell backward upon the floor, and cried out most
terribly, and indeed she had reason, for she was very
much hurt.
It grieved me indeed to have thrust her away with
[92]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
such force, but you must consider me now in the cir
cumstances of a man enraged, and, as it were, out of
himself, furious and mad. However, I took her up
from the floor and laid her on the bed, and calling
up her maid, bid her go and take care of her mis
tress ; and, going soon after out of doors, I took horse
and made the best of my way, not towards Calais or
Dunkirk, or towards Flanders, whither it might be
suggested I was fled, and whither they did pursue
me the same evening, but I took the direct road for
Lorraine, and riding all night and very hard, I passed
the Maine the next day at night, at Chalons, and
came safe into the Duke of Lorraine's dominions the
third day, where I rested one day only to consider
what course to take ; for it was still a most difficult
thing to pass any way, but that I should either be
in the king of France's dominions or be taken by the
French allies as a subject of France. But getting
good advice from a priest at Bar le Due, who, though
I did not tell him the particulars of my case, yet
guessed how it was, it being, as he said, very usual
for gentlemen in my circumstances to fly that way ;
upon this supposition, this kind padre got me a
church pass ; that is to say, he made me a purveyor
for the abbey of , and, as such, got me a pass
port to go to Deux Fonts, which belonged to the
king of Sweden. Having such authority there, and
the priest's recommendation to an ecclesiastic in
[93]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
the place, I got passports from thence in the king of
Sweden's name to Cologne, and then I was thoroughly
safe. So, making my way to the Netherlands without
any difficulty, I came to the Hague, and from
thence, though very privately and by several names,
I came to England. And thus I got clear of my
Italian wife whore I should have called her ; for,
after I had made her so myself, how should I expect
any other of her ?
Being arrived at London, I wrote to my friend at
Paris, but dated my letters from the Hague, where I
ordered him to direct his answers. The chief busi
ness of my writing was to know if my bill was paid
him, to inquire if any pursuit was made after me,
and what other news he had about me or my
wife, and particularly how it had fared with the
marquis. .
I received an answer in a few days, importing that
he had received the money on my bill, which he was
ready to pay as I should direct ; that the marquis
was not dead ; " but, 11 said he, " you have killed him
another way, for he has lost his commission in the
Guards, which was worth to him twenty thousand
livres, and he is yet a close prisoner in the Bastile ; "
that pursuit was ordered after me upon suspicion ;
that they had followed me to Amiens, on the road to
Dunkirk, and to Chastean de Cambresis, on the way
to Flanders, but missing me that way, had given it
[94J
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
over ; that the marquis had been too well instructed
to own that he had fought with me, but said that he
was assaulted on the road, and unless I could be taken,
he would take his trial and come off for want of proof ;
that my flying was a circumstance indeed that moved
strongly against him, because it was known that we
had had some words that day, and were seen to walk
together, but that, nothing being proved on either
side, he would come off with the loss of his com
mission, which, however, being very rich, he could
bear well enough.
As to my wife, he wrote me word she was incon
solable, and had cried herself to death almost ; but
he added (very ill-natured indeed), whether it was for
me or for the marquis, that he could not determine.
He likewise told me she was in very bad circum
stances and very low, so that, if I did not take some
care of her, she would come to be in very great
distress.
The latter part of this story moved me indeed,
for I thought, however it was, I ought not to let her
starve ; and, besides, poverty was a temptation which
a woman could not easily withstand, and I ought
not to be the instrument to drive her to a horrid
necessity of crime, if I could prevent it.
Upon this I wrote to him again to go to her, and
talk with her, and learn as much as he could of her
particular circumstances ; and that, if he found she
[95]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
was really in want, and, particularly, that she did
not live a scandalous life, h.e should give her twenty
pistoles, and tell her, if she would engage to live re
tired and honestly, she should have so much annually,
which was enough to subsist her.
She took the first twenty pistoles, but bade him
tell me that I had wronged her and unjustly charged
her, and I ought to do her justice ; and I had ruined
her by exposing her in such a manner as I had, hav
ing no proof of my charge or ground for any sus
picion ; that, as to twenty pistoles a year, it was a
mean allowance to a wife that had travelled over the
world, as she had done with me, and the like ; and
so expostulated with him to obtain forty pistoles a
year of me, which I consented to. But she never
gave me the trouble of paying above one year ; for
after that the marquis was so fond of her again that
he took her away to himself, and, as my friend wrote
me word, had settled four hundred crowns a year on
her, and I never heard any more of her.
I was now in London, but was obliged to be very
retired and change my name, letting nobody in the
nation know who I was, except my merchant by whom
I corresponded with my people in Virginia ; and par
ticularly with my tutor, who was now become the
head manager of my affairs, and was in very good
circumstances himself also by my means. But he de
served all I did or could do for him, for he was a
[96]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
most faithful friend as well as servant, as ever man
had, in that country at least.
I was not the easiest man alive, in the retired,
solitary manner I now lived in ; and I experienced
the truth of the text, that " it is not good for man
to be alone, 1 ' for I was extremely melancholy and
heavy, and indeed knew not what to do with myself,
particularly because I was under some restraint, that
I was too afraid to go abroad. At last I resolved to
go quite away, and go to Virginia again, and there
live retired as I could.
But when I came to consider that part more
narrowly, I could not prevail with myself to live a
private life. I had got a wandering kind of taste,
and knowledge of things begat a desire of increasing
it, and an exceeding delight I had in it, though I
had nothing to do in the armies or in war, and did
not design ever to meddle with it again. Yet I
could not live in the world and not inquire what was
doing in it ; nor could I think of living in Virginia,
where I was to hear my news twice a year, and read
the public accounts of what was just then upon the
stocks, as the history of things past.
This was my notion : I was now in my native
country, where my circumstances were easy, and
though I had ill-luck abroad, for I brought little
money home with me, yet, by a little good manage
ment, I might soon have money by me. I had no-
VOL.II. 7 [97]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
body to keep but myself, and my plantations in
Virginia generally returned me from .400 to 6QQ
a year, one year above ^700, and to go thither, I
concluded, was to be buried alive ; so I put off all
thoughts of it, and resolved to settle somewhere in
England where I might know everybody and nobody
know me. I was not long in concluding where to
pitch, for as I spoke the French tongue perfectly
well, having been so many years among them, it was
easy for me to pass for a Frenchman. So I went to
Canterbury, called myself an Englishman among the
French, and a Frenchman among the English ; and
on that score was the more perfectly concealed, going
by the name of Monsieur Charnot with the French,
and was called Mr. Charnock among the English.
Here indeed I lived perfectly incog. I made no
particular acquaintance so as to be intimate, and yet
I knew everybody, and everybody knew me. I dis
coursed in common, talked French with the Wal
loons, and English with the English; and lived
retired and sober, and was well enough received by
all sorts ; but as I meddled with nobody's business,
so nobody meddled with mine ; I thought I lived
pretty well.
But I was not fully satisfied. A settled family
life was the thing I loved ; had made two pushes at
it, as you have heard, but with ill-success ; yet the
miscarriage of what was past did not discourage me
[98]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
at all, but I resolved to marry. I looked out for a
woman as suitable as I could, but always found some
thing or other to shock my fancy, except once a gen
tleman's daughter of good fashion ; but I met with
so many repulses of one kind or another that I was
forced to give it over ; and indeed, though I might
be said to be a lover in this suit, and had managed
myself so well with the young lady that I had no
difficulty left but what would soon have been ad
justed, yet her father was so difficult, made so many
objections, was to-day not pleased one way, to
morrow another, that he would stand by nothing
that he himself had proposed, nor could he be ever
brought to be of the same mind two days together ;
so that we at last put an end to the pretensions, for
she would not marry without her father's consent,
and I would not steal her, and so that affair ended.
I cannot say but I was a little vexed at the dis
appointment of this, so I left the city of Canterbury
and went to London in the stage-coach. Here I
had an odd scene presented as ever happened of its
kind.
There was in the stage-coach a young woman and
her maid. She was sitting in a very melancholy
posture, for she was in the coach before me, and
sighed most dreadfully all the way, and whenever
her maid spoke to her she burst out into tears. I
was not long in the coach with her but, seeing she
[99]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
made such a dismal figure, I offered to comfort her
a little, and inquired into the occasion of her afflic
tion. But she would not speak a word ; but her
maid, with a force of crying too, said her master was
dead, at which word the lady burst out again into
a passion of crying, and between mistress and maid
this was all I could get for the morning part of that
day. When we came to dine, I offered the lady,
that seeing, I supposed, she would not dine with the
company, if she would please to dine with me, I
would dine in a separate room ; for the rest of the
company were foreigners. Her maid thanked me
in her mistresses name, but her mistress could eat
nothing, and desired to be private.
Here, however, I had some discourse with the
maid, from whom I learned that the lady was wife
to a captain of a ship, who was outward bound to
somewhere in the Straits I think it was to Zante
and Venice ; that, being gone no farther than the
Downs, he was taken sick, and after about ten days'
illness had died at Deal ; that his wife, hearing of
his sickness, had gone to Deal to see him, and had
come but just time enough to see him die ; had stayed
there to bury him, and was now coming to London
in a sad, disconsolate condition indeed.
I heartily pitied the young gentlewoman indeed,
and said some things to her in the coach to let her
know I did so, which she gave no answer to, but in
[100]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
civility now and then made a bow, but never gave
me the least opportunity to see her face, or so much
as to know whether she had a face or no, much less
to guess what form of a face it was. It was winter
time, and the coach put up at Rochester, not going
through in a day, as was usual in summer ; and a
little before we came to Rochester I told the lady
I understood she had ate nothing to-day, that such
a course would but make her sick, and, doing her
harm, could do her deceased husband no good ; and
therefore I entreated her that, as I was a stranger,
and only offered a civility to her in order to abate
her severely afflicting herself, she would yield so far
to matters of ceremony as let us sup together as
passengers ; for, as to the strangers, they did not
seem to understand the custom or to desire it.
She bowed, but gave no answer ; only, after press
ing her by arguments, which she could not deny was
very civil and kind, she returned, she gave me thanks,
but she could not eat. " Well, madam, 11 said I,
" do but sit down ; though you think you cannot
eat, perhaps you may eat a bit. Indeed you must
eat, or you will destroy yourself at this rate of living,
and upon the road too ; in a word, you will be sick
indeed." I argued with her. The maid put in,
and said, "Do, madam ; pray try to divert yourself
a little."" I pressed her again, and she bowed to me
very respectfully, but still said, " No," and she could
[101]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
not eat. The maid continued to importune her, and
said, " Dear madam, do. The gentleman is a civil
gentleman ; pray, madam, do ; " and then, turning
to me, said, " My mistress will, sir, I hope," and
seemed pleased, and indeed was so.
However, I went on to persuade her ; and, taking
no notice of what her maid said, that I was a civil
gentleman, I told her, " I am a stranger to you,
madam ; but if I thought you were shy of me on any
account, as to civility, I will send my supper up to
you in your own chamber, and stay below myself."
She bowed then to me twice, and looked up, which
was the first time, and said she had no suspicion of
that kind ; that my offer was so civil that she was as
much ashamed to refuse it as she should be ashamed
to accept it, if she was where she was known ; that
she thought I was not quite a stranger to her, for she
had seen me before ; that she would accept my offer
so far as to sit at table, because I desired it ; but she
could not promise me to eat, and that she hoped I
would take the other as a constraint upon her, in
return to so much kindness.
She startled me when she said she had seen me
before ; for I had not the least knowledge of her,
nor did I remember so much as to have heard of her
name ; for I had asked her name of her maid ; and
indeed it made me almost repent my compliment,
for it was many ways essential to me not to be
[ 102]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
known. However, I could not go back ; and, be
sides, if I was known, it was essentially necessary to
me to know who it was that knew me, and by what
circumstances ; so I went on with my compliment.
We came to the inn but just before it was dark.
I offered to hand my widow out of the coach, and
she could not decline it ; but though her hoods were
not then much over her face, yet, being dark, I could
see little of her then. I waited on her then into the
stairfoot, and led her up the inn-stairs to a dining-
room which the master of the house offered to show
us, as if for the whole company ; but she declined
going in there, and said she desired rather to go
directly to her chamber, and turning to her maid,
bade her speak to the innkeeper to show her to her
lodging-room. So I waited on her to the door, and
took my leave, telling her I would expect her at
supper.
In order to treat her moderately well, and not
extravagantly, for I had no thoughts of anything
farther than civility, which was the effect of mere
compassion for the unhappiness of the most truly
disconsolate woman that I ever met with ; I say, in
order to treat her handsomely, but not extravagantly,
I provided what the house afforded, which was a
couple of partridges and a very good dish of stewed
oysters. They brought us up afterwards a neat's
tongue and a ham that was almost cut quite down,
[103]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
but we ate none of it ; for the other was fully enough
for us both, and the maid made her supper off the
oysters we had left, which were enough.
I mention this because it should appear I did not
treat her as a person I was making any court to, for
I had nothing of that in my thoughts ; but merely
in pity to the poor woman, who I saw in a circum
stance that was indeed very unhappy.
When I gave her maid notice that supper was
ready, she fetched her mistress, coming in before her
with a candle in her hand, and then it was that I
saw her face, and being in her dishabille, she had no
hood over her eyes or black upon her head, when I
was truly surprised to see one of the most beautiful
faces upon earth. I saluted her, and led her to the
fireside, the table, though spread, being too far from
the fire, the weather being cold.
She was now something sociable, though very
grave, and sighed often on account of her circum
stances. But she so handsomely governed her grief,
yet so artfully made it mingle itself with all her dis
course, that it added exceedingly to her behaviour,
which was every way most exquisitely genteel. I
had a great deal of discourse with her, and upon
many subjects, and by degrees took her name, that
is to say, from herself, as I had done before from
her maid; also the place where she lived, viz., near
Ratcliff, or rather Stepney, where I asked her leave
[104]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
to pay her a visit when she thought fit to admit
company, which she seemed to intimate would not
be a great while.
It is a subject too surfeiting to entertain people
with the beauty of a person they will never see.
Let it suffice to tell them she was the most beautiful
creature of her sex that I ever saw before or since ;
and it cannot be wondered if I was charmed with
her the very first moment I saw her face. Her be
haviour was likewise a beauty in itself, and was so
extraordinary that I cannot say I can describe it.
The next day she was much more free than she was
the first night, and I had so much conversation as to
enter into particulars of things on both sides ; also
she gave me leave to come and see her house, which,
however, I did not do under a fortnight or there
abouts, because I did not know how far she would
dispense with the ceremony which it was necessary
to keep up at the beginning of the mourning.
However, I came as a man that had business with her,
relating to the ship her husband was dead out of, and
the first time I came was admitted ; and, in short, the
first time I came I made love to her. She received that
proposal with disdain. I cannot indeed say she treated
me with any disrespect, but she said she abhorred the
offer, and would hear no more of it. How I came to
make such a proposal to her I scarce knew then, though
it was very much my intention from the first.
[105]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
In the meantime I inquired into her circumstances
and her character, and heard nothing but what was
very agreeable of them both ; and, above all, I found
she had the report of the best-humoured lady and
the best-bred of all that part of the town ; and now
I thought I had found what I had so often wished
for to make me happy and had twice miscarried in,
and resolved not to miss her, if it was possible to
obtain her.
It came indeed a little into my thoughts that I
was a married man, and had a second wife alive, who,
though she was false to me and a whore, yet I was
not legally divorced from her, and that she was my
wife for all that. But I soon got over that part ;
for, first, as she was a whore, and the marquis had
confessed it to me, I was divorced in law, and I had
a power to put her away. But having had the mis
fortune of fighting a duel, and being obliged to quit
the country, I could not claim the legal process
which was my right, and therefore might conclude
myself as much divorced as if it had been actually
done, and so that scruple vanished.
I suffered now two months to run without press
ing my widow any more, only I kept a strict watch
to find if any one else pretended to her. At the
end of two months I visited her again, when I found
she received me with more freedom, and we had no
more sighs and sobs about the last husband; and
[106]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
though she would not let me press my former pro
posal so far as I thought I might have done, yet I
found I had leave to come again, and it was the
article of decency which she stood upon as much as
anything ; that I was not disagreeable to her, and
that my using her so handsomely upon the road had
given me a great advantage in her favour.
I went on gradually with her, and gave her leave
to stand off for two months more. But then I told
her the matter of decency, which was but a cere
mony, was not to stand in competition with the
matter of affection ; and, in short, I could not bear
any longer delay, but that, if she thought fit, we
might marry privately ; and, to cut the story short,
as I did my courtship, in about five months I got
her in the mind, and we were privately married, and
that with so very exact a concealment that her maid,
that was so instrumental in it, yet had no knowledge
of it for near a month more.
I was now, not only in my imagination, but in
reality, the most happy creature in the world, as I
was so infinitely satisfied with my wife, who was
indeed the best-humoured woman in the world, a
most accomplished, beautiful creature indeed, per
fectly well-bred, and had not one ill quality about
her ; and this happiness continued without the least
interruption for about six years.
But I, that was to be the most unhappy fellow
[107]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
alive in the article of matrimony, had at last a
disappointment of the worst sort even here. I had
three fine children by her, and in her time of lying-in
with the last she got some cold, that she did not in
a long time get off; and, in short, she grew very
sickly. In being so continually ill and out of order,
she very unhappily got a habit of drinking cordials
and hot liquors. Drink, like the devil, when it gets
hold of any one, though but a little, it goes on by
little and little to their destruction. So in my wife,
her stomach being weak and faint, she first took this
cordial, then that, till, in short, she could not live
without them, and from a drop to a sup, from a
sup to a dram, from a dram to a glass, and so on to
two, till at last she took, in short, to what we call
drinking.
As I likened drink to the devil, in its gradual
possession of the habits and person, so it is yet more
like the devil in its encroachment on us, where it
gets hold of our senses. In short, my beautiful,
good-humoured, modest, well-bred wife grew a beast,
a slave to strong liquor, and would be drunk at her
own table nay, in her own closet by herself, till,
instead of a well-made, fine shape, she was as fat as
a hostess; her fine face, bloated and blotched, had not
so much as the ruins of the most beautiful person alive
nothing remained but a good eye; that indeed sh
held to the last. In short, she lost her beauty, hei
[108]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
shape, her manners, and at last her virtue ; and,
giving herself up to drinking, killed herself in about
a year and a half after she first began that cursed
trade, in which time she twice was exposed in the
most scandalous manner with a captain of a ship,
who, like a villain, took the advantage of her being
in drink and not knowing what she did. But it
had this unhappy effect, that instead of her being
ashamed and repenting of it when she came to her
self, it hardened her in the crime, and she grew as
void of modesty at last as of sobriety.
Oh, the power of intemperance ! and how it en
croaches on the best dispositions in the world ; how
it comes upon us gradually and insensibly; and what
dismal effects it works upon our morals, changing
the most virtuous, regular, well-instructed, and well-
inclined tempers into worse than brutal ! That was
a good story, whether real or invented, of the devil
tempting a young man to murder his father. No,
he said ; that was unnatural. " Why, then,"" says
the devil, "go and lie with your mother." "No,"
says he; " that is abominable." " Well, then," says
the devil, " if you will do nothing else to oblige me,
go and get drunk." " Ay, ay," says the fellow, " I
will do that." So he went and made himself drunk
as a swine, and when he was drunk, he murdered his
father and lay with his mother.
Never was a woman more virtuous, modest, chaste,
[109]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
sober ; she never so much as desired to drink any
thing strong ; it was with the greatest entreaty that
I could prevail with her to drink a glass or two of
wine, and rarely, if ever, above one or two at a time ;
even in company she had no inclination to it. Not
an immodest word ever came out of her mouth, nor
would she suffer it in any one else in her hearing
without resentment and abhorrence. But upon that
weakness and illness after her last lying-in, as above,
the nurse pressed her, whenever she found herself
faint and a sinking of her spirits, to take this cordial
and that dram, to keep up her spirits, till it became
necessary even to keep her alive, and gradually
increased to a habit, so that it was no longer her
physic but her food. Her appetite sunk and went
quite away, and she ate little or nothing, but came at
last to such a dreadful height that, as I have said, she
would be drunk in her own dressing-room by eleven
o'clock in the morning, and, in short, at last was
never sober.
In this life of hellish excess, as I have said, she
lost all that was before so valuable in her, and a
villain, if it be proper to call a man who was really
a gentleman by such a name, who was an intimate
acquaintance, coming to pretend a visit to her, made
her and her maid so drunk together that he lay with
them both ; with the mistress, the maid being in
the room, and with the maid, the mistress being in
[110]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
the room ; after which he, it seems, took the like
liberty with them both as often as he thought fit,
till the wench, being with child, discovered it for
herself, and for her mistress too. Let any one
judge what was my case now. I, that for six years
thought myself the happiest man alive, was now
the most miserable, distracted creature. As to my
wife, I loved her so well, and was so sensible of the
disaster of her drinking being the occasion of it all,
that I could not resent it to such a degree as I had
done in her predecessor ; but I pitied her heartily.
However, I put away all her servants, and almost
locked her up ; that is to say, I set new people over
her, who would not suffer any one to come near her
without my knowledge.
But what to do with the villain that had thus
abused both her and me, that was the question that
remained. To fight him upon equal terms, I thought,
was a little hard ; that after a man had treated me
as he had done, he deserved no fair play for his life.
So I resolved to wait for him in Stepney fields, and
which way he often came home pretty late, and
pistol him in the dark, and, if possible, to let him
know what I killed him for before I did it. But
when I came to consider of this, it shocked my tem
per too as well as principle, and I could not be a
murderer, whatever else I could be, or whatever I
was provoked to be.
[Ill]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
However, I resolved, on the other hand, that I
would severely correct him for what he had done,
and it was not long before I had an opportunity ; for,
hearing one morning that he was walking across the
fields from Stepney to Shadwell, which way I knew
he often went, I waited for his coming home again,
and fairly met him.
I had not many words with him, but told him I
had long looked for him ; that he knew the villainy
he had been guilty of in my family, and he could not
believe, since he knew also that I was fully in
formed of it, but that I must be a great coward, as
well as a cuckold, or that I would resent it, and that
it was now a very proper time to call him to an
account for it ; and therefore bade him, if he durst
show his face to what he had done, and defend the
name of a captain of a man-of-war, as they said he
had been, to draw.
He seemed surprised at the thing, and began to
parley, and would lessen the crime of it; but I told
him it was not a time to talk that way, since he
could not deny the fact ; and to lessen the crime was
to lay it the more upon the woman, who, I was sure,
if he had not first debauched with wine, he could
never have brought to the rest ; and, seeing he refused
to draw, I knocked him down with my cane at one
blow, and I would not strike him again while he lay
on the ground, but waited to see him recover a little j
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
for I saw plainly he was not killed. In a few
minutes he came to himself again, and then I took
him fast by one wrist, and caned him as severely as
I was able, and as long as I could hold it for want
of breath, but forbore his head, because I was re
solved he should feel it. In this condition at last
he begged for mercy, but I was deaf to all pity a
great while, till he roared out like a boy soundly
whipped. Then I took his sword from him and broke
it before his ^ face, and left him on the ground, giv
ing him two or three kicks on the backside, and bade
him go and take the law of me if he thought fit.
I had now as much satisfaction as indeed could be
taken of a coward, and had no more to say to him ;
but as I knew it would make a great noise about the
town, I immediately removed my family, and, that I
might be perfectly concealed, went into the north of
England, and lived in a little town called , not
far from Lancaster, where I lived retired, and was
no more heard of for about two years. My wife,
though more confined than she used to be, and so
kept up from the lewd part which, I believe, in the
intervals of her intemperance, she was truly ashamed
of and abhorred, yet retained the drinking part,
which becoming, as I have said, necessary for her
subsistence, she soon ruined her health, and in about
a year and a half after my removal into the north
she died.
voi, n. 8 [ 113 ]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Thus I was once more a free man, and, as one
would think, should by this time have been fully
satisfied that matrimony was not appointed to be a
state of felicity to me.
I should have mentioned that the villain of a cap
tain who I had drubbed, as above, pretended to
make a great stir about my assaulting him on the
highway, and that I had fallen upon him with three
ruffians, with an intent to murder him ; and this
began to obtain belief among the people in the
neighbourhood. I sent him word of so much of it
as I had heard, and told him I hoped it did not
come from his own mouth ; but if it did, I expected
he would publicly disown it, he himself declaring he
knew it to be false, or else I should be forced to act
the same thing over again, till I had disciplined him
into better manners ; and that he might be assured
that if he continued to pretend that I had anybody
with me when I caned him, I would publish the
whole story in print, and, besides that, would cane
him again wherever I met him, and as often as I met
him, till he thought fit to defend himself with his
sword like a gentleman.
He gave me no answer to this letter; and the
satisfaction I had for that was, that I gave twenty
or thirty copies of it about among the neighbours,
which made it as public as if I had printed it (that
is, as to his acquaintance and mine), and made him
[114]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
so hissed at and hated that he was obliged to remove
into some other part of the town whither I did
not inquire.
My wife being now dead, I knew not what course
to take in the world, and I grew so disconsolate and
discouraged that I was next door to being distem
pered, and sometimes, indeed, I thought myself a
little touched in my head. But it proved nothing
but vapours and the vexation of this affair, and in
about a year's time, or thereabouts, it wore off
again.
I had rambled up and down in a most discontented,
unsettled posture after this, I say, about a year, and
then I considered I had three innocent children, and
I could take no care of them, and that I must either
go away and leave them to the wide world or settle
here and get somebody to look after them, and that
better a mother-in-law than no mother ; for to live
such a wandering life it would not do ; so I resolved
I would marry as anything offered, though it was
mean, and the meaner the better. I concluded my
next wife should be only taken as an upper servant ;
that is to say, a nurse to my children and house
keeper to myself; "and let her be whore or honest
woman," said I, " as she likes best ; I am resolved I
will not much concern myself about that;" for I
was now one desperate, that valued not how things
went.
[115]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
In this careless, and indeed rash, foolish humour,
I talked to myself thus : " If I marry an honest
woman, my children will be taken care of ; if she be
a slut and abuses me, as I see everybody does, I will
kidnap her and send her to Virginia, to my planta
tions there, and there she shall work hard enough
and fare hard enough to keep her chaste, 1 11 warrant
her."
I knew well enough at first that these were mad,
hare-brained notions, and I thought no more of being
serious in them than I thought of being a man in
the moon ; but I know not how it happened to me,
I reasoned and talked to myself in this wild manner
so long that I brought myself to be seriously des
perate ; that is, to resolve upon another marriage,
with all the suppositions of unhappiness that could
be imagined to fall out.
And yet even this rash resolution of my senses
did not come presently to action ; for I was half a
year after this before I fixed upon anything. At
last, as he that seeks mischief shall certainly find it,
so it was with me. There happened to be a young,
or rather a middle-aged, woman in the next town,
which was but a half-mile off, who usually was at my
house and among my children every day when the
weather was tolerable ; and though she came but
merely as a neighbour, and to see us, yet she was
always helpful in directing and ordering things for
[116]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
them, and mighty handy about them, as well before
my wife died as after.
Her father was one that I employed often to go
to Liverpool, and sometimes to Whitehaven, and do
business for me ; for having, as it were, settled my
self in the northern parts of England, I had ordered
part of my effects to be shipped, as occasion of ship
ping offered, to either of those two towns, to which,
the war continuing very sharp, it was safer coming,
as to privateers, than about through the Channel to
London.
I took a mighty fancy at last that this girl would
answer my end, particularly that I saw she was
mighty useful among the children ; so, on the other
hand, the children loved her very well, and I resolved
to love her too, flattering myself mightily, that as I
had married two gentlewomen and one citizen, and
they proved all three whores, I should now find what
I wanted in an innocent country wench.
I took up a world of "time in considering of this
matter ; indeed scarce any of my matches were done
without very mature consideration. The second was
the worst in that article, but in this I thought of it,
I believe, four months most seriously before I re
solved, and that very prudence spoiled the whole
thing. However, at last being resolved, I took Mrs.
Margaret one day as she passed by my parlour-door,
called her in, and told her I wanted to speak with
[117]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
her. She came readily in, but blushed mightily when
I bade her sit down in a chair just by me.
I used no great ceremony with her, but told her
that I had observed she had been mighty kind to
my children, and was very tender to them, and that
they all loved her, and that, if she and I could agree
about it, I intended to make her their mother, if she
was not engaged to somebody else. The girl sat
still and said never a word till I said those words,
" if she was not engaged to somebody else ; " when
she seemed struck. However, I took no notice of it,
other than this, " Look ye, Moggy ," said I (so they
call them in the country), " if you have promised
yourself, you must tell me."" For we all knew that
a young fellow, a good clergyman's wicked son, had
hung about her a great while, two or three years,
and made love to her, but could never get the girl in
the mind, it seems, to have him.
She knew I was not ignorant of it, and therefore,
after her first surprise was over, she told me Mr.
had, as I knew, often come after her, but she had
never promised him anything, and had for several
years refused him ; her father always telling her that
he was a wicked fellow, and that he would be her
ruin if she had him.
" Well, Moggy, then," says I, " what dost say to
me? Art thou free to make me a wife?" She
blushed and looked down upon the ground, and
[118]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
would not speak a good while ; but when I pressed
her to tell me, she looked up, and said she supposed
I was but jesting with her. Well, I got over that,
and told her I was in very good earnest with her,
and I took her for a sober, honest, modest girl, and,
as I said, one that my children loved mighty well,
and I was in earnest with her ; if she would give me
her consent, I would give her my word that I would
have her, and we would be married to-morrow morn
ing. She looked up again at that, and smiled a little,
and said no, that was too soon too to say yes. She
hoped I would give her some time to consider of it,
and to talk with her father about it.
I told her she needed not much time to cdnsider
about it ; but, however, I would give her till to-morrow
morning, which was a great while. By this time I
had kissed Moggy two or three times, and she be
gan to be freer with me ; and when I pressed her
to marry me the next morning, she laughed, and
told me it was not lucky to be married in her old
clothes.
I stopped her mouth presently with that, and told
her she should not be married in her old clothes, for I
would give her some new. " Ay, it may be after
wards," says Moggy, and laughed again. " No, just
now,"" says I. " Come along with me, Moggy;" so
I earned her upstairs into my wife's room that was,
and showed her a new morning-gown of my wife's,
[119]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
that she had never worn above two or three times,
and several other fine things. "Look you there,
Moggy," says I, " there is a wedding-gown for you ;
give me your hand now that you will have me to
morrow morning. And as to your father, you know
he has gone to Liverpool on my business, but I will
answer for it he shall not be angry when he comes
home to call his master son-in-law ; and I ask him
no portion. Therefore give me thy hand for it,
Moggy," says I very merrily to her, and kissed her
again ; and the girl gave me her hand, and very
pleasantly too, and I was mightily pleased with it,
I assure you.
There lived about three doors from us an ancient
gentleman who passed for a doctor of physic, but who
was really a Romish priest in orders, as there are
many in that part of the country ; and in the even
ing I sent to speak with him. He knew that I
understood his profession, and that I had lived in
popish countries, and, in a word, believed me a
Roman too, for I was such abroad. When he came
to me I told him the occasion for which I sent for
him, and that it was to be to-morrow morning. He
readily told me, if I would come and see him in the
evening, and bring Moggy with me, he would marry
us in his own study, and that it was rather more pri
vate to do it in the evening than in the morning.
So I called Moggy again to me, and told her, since
[120]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
she and I had agreed the matter for to-morrow, it
Was as well to be done over-night, and told her what
the doctor had said.
Moggy blushed again, and said she must go home
first, that she could not be ready before to-morrow.
" Look ye, Moggy," says I, " you are my wife now,
and you shall never go away from me a maid. I know
what you mean ; you would go home to shift you.
Come, Moggy," says I, " come along with me again
upstairs." So I carried her to a chest of linen, where
were several new shifts of my last wife's, which she
had never worn at all, and some that had been worn.
" There is a clean smock for you, Moggy," says I,
" and to-morrow you shall have all the rest." When
I had done this, " Now, Moggy," says I, " go and
dress you ; " so I locked her in, and went downstairs.
" Knock," says I, " when you are dressed."
After some time Moggy did not knock, but down
she came into my room, completely dressed, for there
were several other things that I bade her take, and
the clothes fitted her as if they had been made for
her. It seems she slipped the lock back.
" Well, Moggy," says I, " now you see you shan't
be married in your old clothes ; " so I took her in
my arms and kissed her ; and well pleased I was as
ever I was in my life, or with anything I ever did in
my life. As soon as it was dark Moggy slipped away
beforehand, as the doctor and I had agreed, to the
[121]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
old gentleman's housekeeper, and I came in about
half-an-hour after ; and there we were married in the
doctor's study that is to say, in his oratory or
chapel, a little room within his study and we
stayed and supped with him afterwards.
Then, after a short stay more, I went home first,
because I would send the children all to bed, and
the other servants out of the way ; and Moggy came
some time after, and so we lay together that night.
The next morning I let all the family know that
Moggy was my wife, and my three children were
rejoiced at it to the last degree. And now I was a
married man a fourth time; and, in short, I was
really more happy in this plain country girl than
with any of all the wives I had had. She was not
young, being about thirty-three, but she brought me
a son the first year. She was very pretty, well-shaped,
and of a merry, cheerful disposition, but not a beauty.
She was an admirable family manager, loved my
former children, and used them not at all the worse
for having some of her own. In a word, she made me
an excellent wife, but lived with me but four years,
and died of a hurt she got of a fall while she was
with child, and in her I had a very great loss indeed.
And yet such was my fate in wives, that, after all
the blushing and backwardness of Mrs. Moggy at
first, Mrs. Moggy had, it seems, made a slip in her
younger days, and was got with child ten years
[122]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
before, by a gentleman of a great estate in that
country, who promised her marriage, and afterwards
deserted her. But as that had happened long before
I came into the country, and the child was dead and
forgotten, the people were so good to her, and so
kind to me, that, hearing I had married her, nobody
ever spoke of it ; neither did I ever hear of it or sus
pect it till after she was in her grave, and then it
was of small consequence to me one way or other ;
and she was a faithful, virtuous, obliging wife to me.
I had very severe affliction indeed while she lived
with me ; for the smallpox, a frightful distemper in
that country, broke into my family, and carried off
three of my children and a maid-servant ; so that I
had only one of my former wife's, and one by my
Moggy, the first a son, the last a daughter.
While these things were in agitation came on the
invasion of the Scots and the fight at Preston ; and I
have cause to bless the memory of my Moggy ; for I
was all on fire on that side, and just going away with
horse and arms to join the Lord Derwentwater.
But Moggy begged me off (as I may call it), and
hung about me so with her tears and importunities
that I sat still and looked on ; for which I had
reason to be thankful.
I was really a sorrowful father, and the loss of my
children stuck close to me ; but the loss of my wife
stuck closer to me than all the rest. Nor was my
[123]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
grief lessened or my kindest thoughts abated in the
least by the account I heard of her former miscar
riages, seeing they were so long before I knew her, and
were not discovered by me or to me in her lifetime.
All these things put together made me very com
fortless. And now I thought Heaven summoned me
to retire to Virginia, the place, and, as I may say, the
only place, I had been blessed at, or had met with
anything that deserved the name of success in, and
where, indeed, my affairs being in good hands, the
plantations were increased to such a degree that some
years my return here made up eight hundred pounds,
and one year almost a thousand. So I resolved to
leave my native country once more, and taking my
son with me, and leaving Moggy's daughter with her
grandfather, I made him my principal agent, left
him considerable in his hands for the maintenance of
the child, and left my will in his hand, by which, if
I died before I should otherwise provide for her, I
left her .2000 portion, to be paid by my son out of
the estate I had in Virginia, and the whole estate, if
he died unmarried.
I embarked for Virginia in the year , at the
town of Liverpool, and had a tolerable voyage
thither, only that we met with a pirate ship, in the
latitude of 48 degrees, who plundered us of every
thing they could come at that was for their turn ;
that is to say, provisions, ammunition, small-arms,
[124]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
and money. But, to give the rogues their due,
though they were the most abandoned wretches that
were ever seen, they did not use us ill. And as to
my loss, it was not considerable ; the cargo which I
had on board was in goods, and was of no use to
them ; nor could they come at those things without
rummaging the whole ship, which they did not think
worth their while.
I found all my affairs in very good order at Vir
ginia, my plantations prodigiously increased, and
my manager, who first inspired me with travelling
thoughts, and made me master of any knowledge
worth naming, received me with a transport of joy,
after a ramble of four-and -twenty years.
I ought to remember it, to the encouragement of
all faithful servants, that he gave me an account,
which, I believe, was critically just, of the whole
affairs of the plantations, each by themselves, and
balanced in years, every year's produce being fully
transmitted, charges deducted, to my order at
London.
I was exceedingly satisfied, as I had good reason
indeed, with his management ; and with his manage
ment, as much in its degree, of his own I can safely
say it. He had improved a very large plantation of
his own at the same time, which he began upon the
foot of the country's allowance of land and the en
couragement he had from me.
[125]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
When he had given me all this pleasing, agreeable
account, you will not think it strange that I had a
desire to see the plantations, and to view all the
servants, which, in both the works, were upwards of
three hundred ; and as my tutor generally bought
some every fleet that came from England, I had the
mortification to see two or three of the Preston
gentlemen there, who, being prisoners of war, were
spared from the public execution, and sent over to
that slavery, which to gentlemen must be worse than
death.
I do not mention what I did or said relating to
them here. I shall speak at large of it when the rest
of them came over, which more nearly concerned me.
But one circumstance occurred to me here that
equally surprised me and terrified me to the last
degree. Looking over all the servants, as I say
above, and viewing the plantations narrowly and
frequently, I came one day by a place where some
women were at work by themselves. I was seriously
reflecting on the misery of human life, when I saw
some of those poor wretches. Thought I, " They
have perhaps lived gay and pleasantly in the world,
notwithstanding, through a variety of distresses,
they may have been brought to this ; and if a body
was to hear the history of some of them now, it
would perhaps be as moving and as seasonable a
sermon as any minister in the country could preach. 1 "
[126]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
While I was musing thus and looking at the
women, on a sudden I heard a combustion among
other of the women-servants, who were almost be
hind me, in the same work, and help was called
loudly for, one of the women having swooned away.
They said she would die immediately if something
was not done to relieve her. I had nothing about
me but a little bottle, which we always carried about
us there with rum, to give any servant a dram that
merited that favour; so I turned my horse and
went up towards the place. But as the poor creat
ure was lying flat on the ground, and the rest of the
women-servants about her, I did not see her, but
gave them the bottle, and they rubbed her temples
with it, and, with much ado, brought her to life,
and gave her a little to drink. But she could drink
none of it, and was exceeding ill afterwards, so that
she was carried to the infirmary so they call it in
the religious houses in Italy where the sick nuns and
friars are carried ; but here, in Virginia, I think they
should call it the condemned hole, for it really was
only a place just fit for people to die in, not a place
to be cured in.
The sick woman refusing to drink, one of the
women-servants brought me the bottle again, and I
bade them drink it among them, which had almost
set them together by the ears for the liquor, there
being not enough to give every one a sup.
[127]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
I went home to my house immediately, and
reflecting on the miserable provision was wont to
be made for poor servants when they were sick,
I inquired of my manager if it was so still. He
said he believed mine was better than any in the
country ; but he confessed it was but sad lodging.
However, he said he would go and look after it
immediately and see how it was.
He came to me again about an hour after, and
told me the woman was very ill, and frighted with
her condition ; that she seemed to be very penitent
for some things in her past life, which lay heavy
upon her mind, believing she should die ; that she
asked him if there was no minister to comfort poor
dying servants ; and he told her that she knew they
had no minister nearer than such a place, but that,
if she lived till morning, he should be sent for. He
told me, also, that he had removed her into a room
where their chief workman used to lodge ; that he
had given her a pair of sheets, and everything he
could that he thought she wanted, and had appointed
another woman-servant to tend her and sit up with
her.
" Well," says I, " that ""s well ; for I cannot bear
to have poor creatures lie and perish, by the mere
hardship of the place they are in, when they are
sick and want help. Besides,"" said I, "some of those
unfortunate creatures they call convicts may be peo-
[128]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
pie that have been tenderly brought up."" " Really,
sir," 1 says he, " this poor creature, I always said, had
something of a gentlewoman in her. I could see it
by her behaviour, and I have heard the other women
say that she lived very great once, and that she had
fifteen hundred pound to her portion ; and I dare
say she has been a handsome woman in her time,
and she has a hand as fine as a lady's now, though
it be tanned with the weather. I dare say she was
never brought up to labour as she does here, and
she says to the rest that it will kill her."
" Truly," says I, "it may be so, and that may be
the reason that she faints under it ; " and I added,
" Is there nothing you can put her to within doors
that may not be so laborious and expose her to so
much heat and cold ? " He told me yes, there was.
He could set her to be the housekeeper, for the
woman that lately was such was out of her time,
and was married and turned planter. " Why, then,
let her have it," said I, " if she recovers ; and in the
meantime go," said I, " and tell her so ; perhaps the
comfort of it may help to restore her."
He did so, and with that, taking good care of her,
and giving her good warm diet, the woman recovered,
and in a little time was abroad again ; for it was the
mere weight of labour, and being exposed to hard
lodging and mean diet, to one so tenderly bred, that
struck her and she fainted at her work.
VOL.II. 9 [129]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
When she was made housekeeper she was quite
another body. She put all the household into such
excellent order, and managed their provisions so
well, that my tutor admired her conduct, and would
be every now and then speaking of her to me, that
she was an excellent manager. u I '11 warrant, 11 says
he, " she has been bred a gentlewoman, and she has
been a fine woman in her time too." In a word, he
said so many good things of her that I had a mind
to see her. So one day I took occasion to go to the
plantation-house, as they called it, and into a par
lour always reserved for the master of the plantation.
There she had opportunity to see me before I could
see her, and as soon as she had seen me she knew
me; but indeed had I seen her an hundred times I
should not have known her. She was, it seems, in
the greatest confusion and surprise at seeing who I
was that it was possible for any one to be; and when
I ordered my manager to bring her into the room,
he found her crying, and begged him to excuse her,
that she was frighted, and should die away if she
came near me.
I, not imagining anything but that the poor
creature was afraid of me (for masters in Virginia
are terrible things), bade him tell her she need to
be under no concern at my calling for her ; for it
was not for any hurt nor for any displeasure, but
that I had some orders to give her. So, having, as
[130]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUFJ
he thought, encouraged her, though her surprise was
of another kind, he brought her in. When she came
in she held a handkerchief in her hand, wiping her
eyes, as if she had cried. " Mrs. Housekeeper," said
I, speaking cheerfully to her, " don't be concerned
at my sending for you ; I have had a very good
account of your management, and I called for you
to let you know I am very well pleased with it ; and
if it falls in my way to do you any good, if your
circumstances will allow it, I may be willing enough
to help you out of your misery. 11
She made low courtesies, but said nothing. How
ever, she was so far encouraged that she took her
hand from her face, and I saw her face fully ; and I
believe she did it desiring I should discover who she
was ; but I really knew nothing of her, any more
than if I had never seen her in my life, but went on,
as I thought, to encourage her, as I used to do with
any that I saw deserved it.
In the meantime my tutor, who was in the room,
went out on some business or other I know not
what. As soon as he was gone she burst out into a
passion, and fell down on her knees just before me :
" Oh, sir ! " says she, " I see you don 1 t know me.
Be merciful to me ; I am your miserable divorced
wife ! "
I was astonished ; I was frighted ; I trembled like
one in an ague ; I was speechless ; in a word, I was
[131]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
ready to sink, and she fell flat on her face, and lay
there as if she had been dead. I was speechless, I
say, as a stone. I had only presence of mind enough
to step to the door and fasten it, that my tutor
might not come in ; then, going back to her, I took
her up and spoke comfortably to her, and told her I
no more knew her than if I had never seen her.
** Oh, sir ! " said she, " afflictions are dreadful
things ; such as I have suffered have been enough to
alter my countenance ; but forgive," said she, " for
God's sake, the injuries I have done you. I have
paid dear for all my wickedness, and it is just, it is
righteous, that God should bring me to your foot,
to ask your pardon for all my brutish doings. For
give me, sir," said she, " I beseech you, and let me be
your slave or servant for it as long as I live ; it is all
I ask ; " and with those words she fell upon her knees
again and cried so vehemently that it was impossible
for her to stop it or to speak a word more. I took
her up again, made her sit down, desired her to
compose herself, and to hear what I was going to
say ; though indeed it touched me so sensibly that
I was hardly able to speak any more than she was.
First, I told her it was such a surprise to me that
I was not able to say much to her ; and indeed the
tears run down my face almost as fast as they did on
hers. I told her that I should only tell her now,
that, as nobody had yet known anything that had
[132]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
passed, so it was absolutely necessary not a word of
it should be known ; that it should not be the worse
for her that she was thus thrown in my hands again ;
but that I could do nothing for her if it was known,
and, therefore, that her future good or ill fortune
would depend upon her entire concealing it ; that,
as my manager would come in again presently, she
should go back to her part of the house, and go on
in the business as she did before ; that I would come
to her and talk more at large with her in a day or
two. So she retired, after assuring me that not a
word of it should go out of her mouth ; and indeed
she was willing to retire before my tutor came again,
that he might not see the agony she was in.
I was so perplexed about this surprising incident
that I hardly knew what I did or said all that night ;
nor was I come to any settled resolution in the morn
ing what course to take in it. However, in the
morning I called my tutor, and told him that I had
been exceedingly concerned about the poor distressed
creature, the housekeeper ; that I had heard some
of her story, which was very dismal ; that she had
been in very good circumstances and was bred very
well, and that I was glad he had removed her
out of the field into the house ; but still she was
almost naked, and that I would have him go down
to the warehouse and give her some linen, especially
head-clothes, and all sorts of small things such as
[133]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
hoods, gloves, stockings, shoes, petticoats, &c., and
to let her choose for herself ; also a morning-gown
of calico, and a mantua of a better kind of calico ;
that is to say, new clothe her ; which he did, but
brought me word that he found her all in tears, and
that she had cried all night long, and, in short, he
believed she would indeed cry herself to death ; that
all the while she was receiving the things he gave her
she cried ; that now and then she would struggle
with and stop it, but that then, upon another word
speaking, she would burst out again, so that it grieved
everybody that saw her.
I was really affected with her case very much, but
struggled hard with myself to hide it, and turned
the discourse to something else. In the meantime,
though I did not go to her the next day, nor till the
third day, yet I studied day and night how to act,
and what I should do in this remarkable case.
When I came to the house, which was the third
day, she came into the room I was in, clothed all
over with my things which I had ordered her, and
told me she thanked God she was now my servant
again and wore my livery, thanked me for the
clothes I had sent her, and said it was much more
than she had deserved from me.
I then entered into discourses with her, nobody
being present but ourselves ; and first I told her she
should name no more of the unkind things that had
[134]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
passed, for she had humbled herself more than
enough on that, subject, and I would never reproach
her with anything that was past. I found that she
had been the deepest sufferer by far. I told her it
was impossible for me, in my present circumstances,
to receive her there as a wife who came over as a
convict, neither did she know so little as to desire it ;
but I told her I might be instrumental to put an
end to her misfortunes in the world, and especially
to the miserable part of it which was her present
load, provided she could effectually keep her own
counsel and never let the particulars come out of her
mouth, and that from the day she did she might
date her irrevocable ruin.
She was as sensible of the necessity of that part
as I was, and told me all she could claim of me
would be only to deliver her from her present calam
ity that she was not able to support ; and that then,
if I pleased, she might live such a life as that she
might apply the residue of what time she should
have wholly to repentance ; that she was willing to
do the meanest offices in the world for me ; and
though she should rejoice to hear that I would for
give her former life, yet that she would not look
any higher than to be my servant as long as she
lived ; and, in the meantime, I might be satisfied she
would never let any creature so much as know that
I had ever seen her before.
[135]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
I asked her if she was willing to let me into any
part of the history of her life since she and I parted ;
but I did not insist upon it otherwise than as she
thought convenient. She said, as her breach with
me began first in folly and ended in sin, so her whole
life afterwards was a continued series of calamity,
sin and sorrow, sin and shame, and at last misery ;
that she was deluded into gay company and to an
expensive way of living which betrayed her to several
wicked courses to support the expenses of it ; that
after a thousand distresses and difficulties, being not
able to maintain herself, she was reduced to extreme
poverty ; that she would many times have humbled
herself to me in the lowest and most submissive
manner in the world, being sincerely penitent for her
first crime, but that she could never hear of me, nor
which way I was gone ; that she was by that means
so abandoned that she wanted bread, and those
wants and distresses brought her into bad company
of another kind, and that she fell in among a gang
of thieves, with whom she herded for some time, and
got money enough a great while, but under the
greatest dread and terror imaginable, being in the
constant fear of coming to shame ; that afterwards
what she feared was come upon her, and for a very
trifling attempt in which she was not principal, but
accidentally concerned, she was sent to this place.
She told me her life was such a collection of various
[136]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
fortunes up and down, in plenty and in misery, in
prison and at liberty, at ease and in torment that
it would take up a great many days to give me a
history of it ; that I was come to see the end of it.
as I had seen the best part of the beginning ; that
I knew she was brought up tenderly and fared deli
cately ; but that now she was, with the prodigal,
brought to desire husks with swine, and even to
want that supply. Her teal's flowed so strongly
upon this discourse that they frequently interrupted
her, so that she could not go on without difficulty,
and at last could not go on at all. So I told her I
would excuse her telling any more of her story at
that time ; that I saw it was but a renewing of her
grief, and that I would rather contribute to her for
getting what was past, and desired her to say no more
of it ; so I broke off that part.
In the meantime I told her, since Providence had
thus cast her upon my hands again, I would take
care that she should not want, and that she should
not live hardly neither, though I could go no further
at present ; and thus we parted for that time, and
she continued in the business of housekeeper ; only
that, to ease her, I gave her an assistant ; and,
though I would not have it called so, it was neither
more or less than a servant to wait on her and do
everything for her ; and told her, too, that it was so.
After she had been some time in this place she
[137]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
recovered her spirits and grew cheerful ; her fallen
flesh plumped up, and the sunk and hollow parts
filled again, so that she began to recover something
of that brightness and charming countenance which
was once .so very agreeable to me ; and sometimes I
could not help having warm desires towards her, and
of taking her into her first station again ; but there
were many difficulties occurred which I could not get
over a great while.
But in the meantime another odd accident hap
pened which put me to a very great difficulty, and
more than I could have thought such a thing could
be capable of. My tutor, a man of wit and learning,
and full of generous principles, who was at first
moved with compassion for the misery of this gentle
woman, and, even then, thought there were some
things more than common in her, as I have hinted ;
now when, as I say, she was recovered, and her
sprightly temper restored and comforted, he was
charmed so with her conversation that, in short, he
fell in love with her.
I hinted in my former account of her that she had
a charming tongue, was mistress of abundance of wit,
that she sung incomparably fine, and was perfectly
well-bred. These all remained witli her still, and
made her a very agreeable person ; and, in short, he
came to me one evening and told me that he came
to ask my leave to let him marry the housekeeper.
[138]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
I was exceedingly perplexed at this proposal, but,
however, I gave him no room to perceive that. I
told him I hoped he had considered well of it before
he brought it so far as to offer it to me, and sup
posed that he had agreed that point so that I had
no consent to give, but as she had almost four years
of her time to serve.
He answered no ; he paid such a regard to me that
he would not so much as take one step in such a
thing without my knowledge, and assured me he had
not so much as mentioned it to her. I knew not
what answer indeed to make to him, but at last I
resolved to put it off from myself to her, because
then I should have opportunity to talk with her
beforehand. So I told him he was perfectly free to
act in the matter as he thought fit ; that I could
not say either one thing or another to it, neither
had I any right to meddle in it. As to her serving
out her time with me, that was a trifle, and not
worth naming, but I hoped he would consider well
every circumstance before he entered upon such an
affair as that.
He told me he had fully considered it already, and
that he was resolved, seeing I was not against it, to
have her whatever came of it, for he believed he
should be the happiest man alive with her. Then
he ran on in his character of her, how clever a woman
she was in the management of all manner of business,
[ 139 ]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
how admirable conversation she was, what a wit,
what a memory, what a vast share of knowledge, and
the like ; all which I knew to be the truth, and yet
short of her just character too; for, as she was all
that formerly when she was mine, she was vastly im
proved in the school of affliction, and was all the
bright part, with a vast addition of temper, prudence,
judgment, and all that she formerly wanted.
I had not much patience, as you may well imagine,
till I saw my honest housekeeper, to communicate
this secret to her, and to see what course she would
steer on so nice an occasion. But I was suddenly
taken so ill with a cold which held for two days that
I could not stir out of doors ; and in this time the
matter was all done and over ; for my tutor had gone
the same night and made his attack ; but was coldly
received at first, which very much surprised him, for
he made no doubt to have her consent at first word.
However, the next day he came again, and again the
third day, when, finding he was in earnest, and yet
that she could not think of anything of that kind,
she told him, in few words, that she thought herself
greatly obliged to him for such a testimony of his
respect to her, and should have embraced it willingly,
as anybody would suppose one in her circumstances
should do, but that she would not abuse him so much,
for that she must acknowledge to him she was under
obligations that prevented her ; that was, in short,
[140]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
that she was a married woman and had a husband
alive.
This was so sincere but so effectual an answer that
he could have no room to reply one word to it, but
that he was very sorry, and that it was a very great
affliction to him, and as great a disappointment as
ever he met with.
The next day after he had received this repulse I
came to the plantation -house, and, sending for the
housekeeper, I began with her, and told her that I
understood she would have a very advantageous pro
posal made to her, and that I would have her con
sider well of it, and then told her what my tutor had
said to me.
She immediately fell a-crying, at which I seemed
to wonder very much. " Oh, sir ! " says she, " how
can you name such a thing to me ? " I told her that
I could name it the better to her because I had been
married myself since I parted from her. " Yes, sir, 1 "
says she ; " but the case alters ; the crime being on
my side, I ought not to marry ; but," says she, " that
is not the reason at all, but I cannot do it." I pre
tended to press her to it, though not sincerely, I
must acknowledge, for my heart had turned toward
her for some time, and I had fully forgiven her in
my mind all her former conduct ; but, I say, I seemed
to press her to it, at which she burst out in a passion.
' No, no," says she ; " let me be your slave rather
[141]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
than the best man's wife in the world." I reasoned
with her upon her circumstances, and how such a
marriage would restore her to a state of ease and
plenty, and none in the world might ever know or
suspect who or what she had been. But she could
not bear it ; but, with tears, again raising her voice
that I was afraid she would be heard, "I beseech
you," says she, " do not speak of it any more. I was
once yours, and I will never belong to any man else
in the world. Let me be as I am, or anything else
you please to make me, but not a wife to any man
alive but yourself."
I was so moved with the passion she was in at
speaking this that I knew not what I said or did for
some time. At length I said to her, " It is a great
pity you had not long ago been as sincere as you are
now ; it had been better for us both. However, as
it is, you shall not be forced to anything against
your mind, nor shall you be the worse treated for
refusing ; but how will you put him off? No doubt
he expects you will receive his proposal as an advan
tage ; and as he sees no farther into your circum
stances, so it is." " Oh, sir ! " says she, " I have
done all that already. He has his answer, and is
fully satisfied. He will never trouble you any more
on that head ; " and then she told me what answer
she had given him.
From that minute I resolved that I would cer-
[142]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
tainly take her again to be my wife as before. I
thought she had fully made me amends for her
former ill conduct, and she deserved to be forgiven
(and so indeed she did, if ever woman did, consider
ing also what dreadful penance she had undergone,
and how long she had lived in misery and distress) ;
and that Providence had, as it were, cast her upon
me again", and, above all, had given her such an af
fection to me and so resolved a mind that she could
refuse so handsome an offer of deliverance rather
than be farther separated from me.
As I resolved this in my mind, so I thought it was
cruel to conceal it any longer from her. Nor, in
deed, could I contain myself any longer, but I took
her in my arms: "Well," says I, "you have given
me such a testimony of affection in this that I can
no longer withstand. I forgive you all that ever
was between us on this account, and, since you will
be nobody's but mine, you shall be mine again as
you were at first."
But this was too much for her the other way, and
now she was so far overcome with my yielding to her
that, had she not got vent to her passion by the
most vehement crying, she must have died in my
arms ; and I was forced to let her go and set her
down in a chair, where she cried for a quarter of an
hour before she could speak a word.
When she was come to herself enough to talk
[143]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
again, I told her we must consider of a method how
to bring this to pass, and that it must not be done
by publishing there that she was my wife before, for
that would expose us both, but that I would openly
marry her again. This she agreed was very rational,
and accordingly, about two months after, we were
married again, and no man in the world ever enjoyed
a better wife or lived more happy than we both did
for several years after.
And now I began to think my fortunes were
settled for this world, and I had nothing before me
but to finish a life of infinite variety, such as mine
had been, with a comfortable retreat, being both
made wiser by our sufferings and difficulties, and able
to judge for ourselves what kind of life would be
best adapted to our present circumstances, and in
what station we might look upon ourselves to be
most completely happy.
But man is a short-sighted creature at best, and in
nothing more than in that of fixing his own felicity,
or, as we may say, choosing for himself. One would
have thought, and so my wife often suggested to me,
that the state of life that I was now in was as per
fectly calculated to make a man completely happy as
any private station in the world could be. We had
an estate more than sufficient, and daily increasing,
for the supporting any state or figure that in that
place we could propose to ourselves or even desire
[144]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
to live in ; we had everything that was pleasant and
agreeable, without the least mortification in any cir
cumstances of it ; every sweet thing, and nothing to
embitter it ; every good, and no mixture of evil with
it ; nor any gap open where we could have the least
apprehensions of any evil breaking out upon us.
Nor indeed was it easy for either of us, in our
phlegmatic, melancholy notions, to have the least
imagination how anything disastrous could happen
to us in the common course of things, unless some
thing should befall us out of the ordinary way of
Providence, or of its acting in the world.
But, an unseen mine blew up all this apparent
tranquillity at once ; and though it did not remove
my affairs there from me, yet it effectually removed
me from them and sent me a- wandering into the
world again a condition full of hazards, and
always attended with circumstances dangerous to
mankind, while he is left to choose his own fortunes
and be guided by his own short-sighted measures.
I must now return to a circumstance of my history
which had been past for some time, and which re
lates to my conduct while I was last in England.
I mentioned how my faithful wife Moggy, with
her tears and her entreaties, had prevailed with me
not to play the madman and openly join in the re
bellion with the late Lord Derwentwater and his
party when they entered Lancashire, and thereby.
VOL. n. 10 [145]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
as I may say, saved my life. But my curiosity pre
vailed so much at last that I gave her the slip when
they came to Preston, and at least thought I would
go and look at them, and see what they were likely
to come to.
My former wife's importunities, as above, had
indeed prevailed upon me from publicly embarking
in that enterprise and joining openly with them in
arms ; and by this, as I have observed, she saved my
life to be sure, because I had then publicly espoused
the rebellion, and had been known to have been
among them, which might have been as fatal to me
afterwards, though I had not been taken jn the
action, as if I had.
But when they advanced and came nearer to us to
Preston, and there appeared a greater spirit among
the people in their favour, my old doctor, whom I
mentioned before, who was a Romish priest, and
had married us, inspired me with new zeal, and gave
me no rest till he obliged me, with only a good
horse and arms, to join them the day before they
entered Preston, he himself venturing in the same
posture with me.
I was n6t so public here as to be very well known,
at least by any one that had knowledge of me in the
country where I lived ; and this was indeed my
safety afterwards, as you will soon hear. But yet
I was known too among the men, especially among
[146]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
the Scots, with some of whom I had been acquainted
in foreign service. With these I was particularly
conversant, and, passing for a French officer, I
talked to them of making a select detachment to
defend the pass between Preston and the river and
bridge, upon maintaining which, as I insisted, de
pended the safety of the whole party.
It was with some warmth that I spoke of that
affair, and as I passed among them, I say, for a
French officer and a man of experience, it caused
several debates among them. But the hint was not
followed, as is well known, and from that moment I
gave them all up as lost, and meditated nothing but
how to escape from them, which I effected the night
before they were surrounded by the royal cavalry. I
did not do this without great difficulty, swimming
the river Ribble at a place where, though I got well
over, yet I could not for a long while get to a place
where my horse could land himself that is to say,
where the ground was firm enough for him to take
the land. However, at length I got on shore, and
riding very hard, came the next evening in sight of
my own dwelling. Here, after lying by in a wood
till the depth of night, I shot my horse in a little
kind of a gravel pit, or marl pit, where I soon
covered him with earth for the present, and march
ing all alone, I came about two in the morning to
my house, where my wife, surprised with joy and yet
[147]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
terribly frighted, let me in ; and then I took im
mediate measures to secure myself upon whatever
incident might happen, but which, as things were
ordered, I had no need to make use of, for the rebels
being entirely defeated, and either all killed or taken
prisoners, I was not known by anybody in the
country to have been among them ; no, nor so much
as suspected. And thus I made a narrow escape
from the most dangerous action, and most foolishly
embarked in, of any that I had ever been engaged in
before.
It was very lucky to me that I killed and buried
my horse, for he would have been taken two days
after, and would, to be sure, have been known by
those who had seen me upon him at Preston. But
now, as none knew I had been abroad, nor any such
circumstance could discover me, I kept close, and as
my excursion had been short and I had not been
missed by any of my neighbours, if anybody came to
speak with me, behold I was at home.
However, I was not thoroughly easy in my mind,
and secretly wished I was in my own dominions in
Virginia, to which, in a little time, other circum
stances occurring, I made preparations to remove
with my whole family.
In the meantime, as above, the action at Preston
happened, and the miserable people surrendered to the
king^s troops. Some were executed for examples, as
[148]
in such cases is usual, and the government extending
mercy to the multitude, they were kept in Chester
Castle, and other places a considerable time, till they
were disposed of, some one way, some another, as we
shall hear.
Several hundreds of them after this were, at their
own request, transported, as it is vulgarly expressed,
to the plantations that is to say, sent to Virginia
and other British colonies to be sold after the usual
manner of condemned criminals, or, as we call
them there, convicts, to serve a limited time in the
country, and then be made freemen again. Some of
these I have spoken of above ; but now, to my no
little uneasiness, I found, after I had been there some
time, two ships arrived with more of these people in
the same river where all my plantations lay.
I no sooner heard of it but the first step I took
was to resolve to let none of them be bought into
my work or to any of my plantations ; and this I
did, pretending that I would not make slaves every
day of unfortunate gentlemen who fell into that con
dition for their zeal to their party only, and the like.
But the true reason was, that I expected several of
them would know me, and might perhaps betray me,
and make it public that I was one of the same sort,
but had made my escape ; and so I might be brought
into trouble, and, if I came off with my life, might
have all my effects seized on, and be reduced to
[149]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
misery and poverty again at once, all which I
thought I had done enough to deserve.
This was a just caution, but, as I found quickly,
was not a sufficient one, as my circumstances stood,
for my safety ; for though I bought none of these
poor men myself, yet several of my neighbours did,
and there was scarce a plantation near me but had
some of them, more or less, among them ; so that, in
a word, I could not peep abroad hardly but I was in
danger to be seen, and known too, by some or other
of them.
I may be allowed to say that this was a very un
easy life to me, and such that, in short, I found
myself utterly unable to bear ; for I was now reduced
from a great man, a magistrate, a governor or master
of three great plantations, and having three or four
hundred servants at my command, to be a poor self-
condemned rebel, and durst not show my face ; and
that I might with the same safety, or rather more,
have skulked about in Lancashire where I was, or
gone up to London and concealed myself there till
things had been over. But now the danger was
come home to me, even to my door, and I expected
nothing but to be informed against every day, be
taken up, and sent to England in irons, and have all
my plantations seized on as a forfeited estate to the
Crown.
I had but one hope of safety to trust to, and that
[150]
was, that having been so little a while among them,
done nothing for them, and passing for a stranger,
they never knew my name, but only I was called the
French colonel, or the French officer, or the French
gentleman by most, if not by all, the people here.
And as for the doctor that went with me, he had
found means to escape too, though not the same
way that I did, finding the cause not likely to be
supported, and that the king's troops were gathering
on all sides round them like a cloud.
But to return to myself; this was no satisfaction
to me, and what to do I really knew not, for I was
more at a loss how to shift in such a distressed case
as this, now it lay so close to me, than ever I was
in any difficulty in my life. The first thing I did
was to come home and make a confidence of the
whole affair to my wife ; and though I did it gener
ously without conditions, yet I did not do it without
first telling her how I was now going to put my life
into her hands, that she might have it in her power
to pav me home for all that she might think had
been hard in my former usage of her ; and that, in
short, it would be in her power to deliver me up
into the hands of my enemies, but that I would
trust her generosity, as well as her renewed affection,
and put all upon her fidelity, and without any more
precaution I opened the whole thing to her, and
particularly the danger I was now in,
[151J
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
A faithful counsellor is life from the dead, gives
courage where the heart is sinking, and raises the
mind to a proper use of means ; and such she was
to me indeed upon every step of this affair, and it
was by her direction that I took every step that
followed for the extricating myself out of this
labyrinth.
" Come, come, my dear," says she, " if this be all,
there is no room for any such disconsolate doings as
your fears run you upon ; " for I was immediately for
selling off my plantations and all my stock and em
barking myself forthwith, and to get to Madeira or
to any place out of the king's dominions.
But my wife was quite of another opinion, and
encouraging me on another account, proposed two
things, either my freighting a sloop with provisions
to the West Indies, and so taking passage from
thence to London, or letting her go away directly
for England and endeavour to obtain the king's
pardon, whatever it might cost.
I inclined to the last proposal ; for though I was
unhappily prejudiced in favour of a wrong interest,
yet I had always a secret and right notion of the
clemency and merciful disposition of his Majesty,
and, had I been in England, should, I believe, have
been easily persuaded to have thrown myself at his
foot.
But going to England as I was circumstanced
[152]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
must have been a public action, and I must have
made all the usual preparations for it, must have
appeared in public, have stayed till the crop was
ready, and gone away in form and state as usual, or
have acted as if something extraordinary was the
matter, and have filled the heads of the people there
with innumerable suggestions of they knew not what.
But my wife made all this easy to me from her
own invention ; for, without acquainting me of any
thing, she comes merrily to me one morning before
I was up : " My dear," says she, " I am very sorry to
hear that you are not very well this morning. I
have ordered Pennico " (that was a young negro girl
which I had given her) " to make you a fire in your
chamber, and pray lie still where you are a while till
it is done." At the same instant the little negro
came in with wood and a pair of bellows, &c., to
kindle the fire, and my wife, not giving me time
to reply, whispers close to my ear to lie still and say
nothing till she came up again to me.
I was thoroughly frighted, that you may be sure
of, and thought of nothing but of being discovered,
betrayed, and carried to England, hanged, quartered,
and all that was terrible, and my very heart sunk
within me. She perceived my disorder and turned
back, assuring me there was no harm, desired me to
be easy, and she would come back again presently
and give me satisfaction in every particular that I
[153]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
could desire. So I composed myself a while as well
as I could, but it was but a little while that I could
bear it, and I sent Pennico downstairs to find out
her mistress, and tell her I was very ill and must
speak with her immediately ; and the girl was scarce
out of the room before I jumped out of bed and be
gan to dress me, that I might be ready for all events.
My wife was as good as her word, and was coming
up as the girl was coming down. " I see," says she,
" you want patience, but pray do not want govern
ment of yourself, but take that screen before your
face, and go to the window and see if you know any
of those Scotchmen that are in the yard, for there
are seven or eight of them come about some business
to your clerk."
I went and looked through the screen, and saw the
faces of them all distinctly, but could make nothing
of them other than that they were Scotchmen, which
was easy to discern. However, it was no satisfaction
to me that I knew not their faces, for they might
know mine for all that, according to the old English
proverb, " That more knows Tom Fool than Tom
Fool knows ; " so I kept close in my chamber till I
understood they were all gone.
After this my wife caused it to be given out in
the house that I was not well ; and when this not
being well had lasted three or four days, I had my
leg wrapped up in a great piece of flannel and laid
[154]
upon a stool, and there I was lame of the gout ;
and this served for about six weeks, when my wife
told me she had given it out that my gout was
rather rheumatic than a settled gout, and that I was
resolved to take one of my own sloops and go away
to Nevis or Antigua, and use the hot baths there for
my cure.
All this was very well, and I approved my wife's
contrivance as admirably good, both to keep me
within doors eight or ten weeks at first, and to con
vey me away afterwards without any extraordinary
bustle to be made about it ; but still I did not know
what it all tended to, and what the design of it all
was. But my wife desjred me to leave that to her ;
so I readily did, and she carried it all on with a
prudence not to be disputed ; and after she had
wrapped my legs in flannel almost three months, she
came and told me the sloop was ready and all the
goods put on board. " And now, my dear," says
she, " I come to tell you all the rest of my design ; for,"
added she, " I hope you will not think I am going to
kidnap you, and transport you from Virginia, as other
people are transported to it, or that I am going to
get you sent away and leave myself in possession of
your estate ; but you shall find me the same faithful,
humble creature which I should have been if I had
been still your slave, and not had any hopes of being
your wife, and that in all my scheme which I have
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
laid for your safety, in this new exigence, I have not
proposed your going one step but where I shall go
and be always with you, to assist and serve you on
all occasions, and to take my portion with you, of
what kind soever our lot may be."
This was so generous, and so handsome a declara
tion of her fidelity, and so great a token, too, of the
goodness of her judgment in considering of the
things which were before her, and of what my present
circumstances called for, that, from that time forward,
I gave myself cheerfully up to her management with
out any hesitation in the least, and after about ten
days' preparation we embarked in a large sloop of rny
own of about sixty tons.
I should have mentioned here that I had still my
faithful tutor, as I called him, at the head of my
affairs ; and, as he knew who to correspond with, and
how to manage the correspondence in England, we
left all that part to him, as I had done before ; and
I did this with a full satisfaction in his ability as
well as in his integrity. It is true he had been a
little chagrined in that affair of my wife, who, as I
hinted before, had married me, after telling him, in
answer to his solicitations, that she had a husband
alive. Now, though this was literally true, yet, as
it was a secret not fit to be opened to him, I was
obliged to put him off with other reasons, as well as
I could, perhaps not much to the purpose, and per-
[166]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
haps not much to his satisfaction, so that I reckoned
he looked on himself as not very kindly used several
ways. But he began to get over it, and to be easy,
especially at our going away, when he found that the
trust of everything was still left in his hands as it was
before.
When my wife had thus communicated everything
of the voyage to me, and we began to be ready to go
off, she came to me one morning, and, with her usual
cheerfulness, told me she now came to tell me the
rest of her measures for the completing my deliver
ance ; and this was, that while we made this trip, as
she called it, to the hot springs at Nevis, she would
write to a particular friend at London, whom she
could depend upon, to try to get a pardon for a per
son on account of the late rebellion, with all the cir-
curqstances which my case was attended with, vi/., of
having acted nothing among them but being three
days in the place ; and, while we were thus absent,
she did not question but to have an answer, which
she would direct to come so many ways that we
would be sure to have the first of it as soon as it was
possible the vessels could go and come. And in the
meantime the expense should be very small, for she
would have an answer to the grand question first,
whether it could be obtained or no ; and then an
account of the expense of it,' that so I might judge
for myself whether I would part with the needful
[157]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
sum or no, before any money was disbursed on my
account.
I could not but be thoroughly satisfied with her
contrivance in this particular, and I had nothing to
add to it but that I would not have her limit her
friend so strictly, but that if he saw the way clear,
and that he was sure to obtain it, he should go
through stitch with it, if within the expense of two
or three or four hundred pounds, and that, upon
advice of its being practicable, he should have bills
payable by such a person on delivery of the warrant
for the thing.
To fortify this, I enclosed in her packet a letter to
one of my correspondents, whom I could particularly
trust, with a credit for the money, on such-an-such
conditions; but the honesty and integrity of my
wife's correspondence was such as prevented all the
expense, and yet I had the wished-for security, as if
it had been all paid, as you shall hear presently.
All these things being fixed to our minds, and all
things left behind in good posture of settlement as
usual, we embarked together and put to sea, having
the opportunity of an English man-of-war being on
the coast in pursuit of the pirates, and who was just
then standing away towards the Gulf of Florida, and
told us he would see us safe as far as New Providence,
on the Bahama Islands.
And now having fair weather and a pleasant voy-
[158]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
age, and my flannels taken off my legs, I must hint
a little what cargo I had with me ; for as my cir
cumstances were very good in that country, so I did
not go such a voyage as this, and with a particular
reserve of fortunes whatever might afterwards hap
pen, without a sufficient cargo for our support, and
whatever exigence might happen.
Our sloop, as I said, was of about sixty or seventy
tons ; and as tobacco, which is the general produce
of the country, was no merchandise at Nevis, that is
to say, for a great quantity, so we carried very little,
but loaded the sloop with corn, peas, meal, and some
barrels of pork ; and an excellent cargo it was, most
of it being the produce of my own plantation. We
took also a considerable sum of money with us in
Spanish gold, which was, as above, not for trade,
but for all events. I also ordered another sloop to
be hired, and to be sent after me, loaden with the
same goods, as soon as they should have advice from
me that I was safe arrived.
We came to the latitude of the island of Antigua,
which was very near to that of Nevis, whither we
intended to go, on the eighteenth day after our
passing the Capes of Virginia, but had no sight of
the island ; only our master said he was sure if he
stood the same course as he then was, and the gale
held, I say he told me he was sure he should make
the island in less than five hours' sail ; so he stood
[159]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
on fair for the islands. However, his account had
failed him, for we held on all the evening, made no
land, and likewise all night, when in the grey of the
morning we discovered from the topmast-head a
brigantine and a sloop making sail after us, at the
distance of about six leagues, fair weather, and the
wind fresh at S.E.
Our master soon understood what they were, and
came down into the cabin to me to let me know it.
I was much surprised, you may be sure, at the
danger, but my poor wife took from me all the con
cern for myself to take care of her, for she was
frighted to that degree that I thought we should
not have been able to keep life in her.
While we were thus under the first hurry and sur
prise of the thing, suddenly another noise from the
deck called us up to look out, and that was, " Land !
land ! " The master and I for by this time I had
got out of my cabin run upon the deck, and there
we saw the state of our case very plain. The two
rogues that stood after us laid on all the canvas they
could carry, and crowded after us amain, but at the
distance, as I have said, of about six leagues, rather
more than less. On the other hand, the land dis
covered lay about nine leagues right ahead, so that
if the pirates could get of us, so as to sail three feet
for our two, it was evident they would be up with us
before we could make the island. If not, we should
[160]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
escape them and get in ; but even then we had no
great hope to do any more than to run the ship
ashore to save our lives, and so, stranding our vessel,
spoil both sloop and cargo.
When we were making this calculation our master
came in cheerfully, and told me he had crowded on
more sail, and found the sloop carried it very well,
and that he did not find the rogues gained much
upon us, and that especially if one of them did not,
that was the sloop, he found he could go away from
the brigantine as he pleased. Thus we gave them
what they call a stern chase, and they worked hard
to come up with us till towards noon, when on a
sudden they both stood away and gave us over, to
our great satisfaction you may be sure.
We did not, it seems, so easily see the occasion of
our deliverance as the pirate did ; for while we went
spooning away large with the wind for one of the
islands, with those two spurs in our heels, that is,
with the two thieves at our sterns, there lay an
English man-of-war in the road of Nevis, which was
the same island from whence they espied the pirates,
but the land lying between, we could not see them.
As the man-of-war discovered them she immedi
ately slipped her cable and put herself under sail in
chase of the rogues ; and they as soon perceived her,
and being windward, put themselves upon a wind to
escape her ; and thus we were delivered, and in half-
VOL.II. 11 [161]
an-hour more we knew who was our deliverer, seeing
the man-of-war stretch ahead clear of the island, and
stand directly after the pirates, who now crowded
from us as fast as they crowded after us before ; and
thus we got safe into Antigua, after the terrible
apprehension we had been in of being taken. Our
apprehensions of being taken now were much more
than they would have been on board a loaden ship
from or to London, where the most they ordinarily
do is to rifle the ship, take what is valuable and
portable, and let her go. But ours being but a
sloop, and all our loading being good provisions,
such as they wanted, to be sure, for their ship's store,
they would certainly have carried us away, ship and
all, taken out the cargo and the men, and perhaps
have set the sloop on fire ; so that, as to our cargo
of gold, it had been inevitably lost, and we hurried
away, nobody knows where, and used as such bar
barous fellows are wont to use innocent people as
fall into their hands.
But we were now out of their hands, and had the
satisfaction a few days after to hear that the man-
of-war pursued them so close, notwithstanding they
changed their course in the night, that the next day
they were obliged to separate and shift for them
selves ; so the man-of-war took one of them, namely,
the brigantine, and carried her into Jamaica, but the
other, viz., the sloop, made her escape.
[162]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Being arrived here, we presently disposed of our
cargo, and at a tolerable good price ; and now the
question was, what I should do next. I looked upon
myself to be safe here from the fears I had been
under of being discovered as a rebel, and so indeed I
was ; but having been now absent five months, and
having sent the ship back with a cargo of rum and
molasses, which I knew was wanting in my planta
tions, I received the same vessel back in return loaden,
as at first, with provisions.
With this cargo my wife received a packet from
London from the person whom she had employed, as
above, to solicit a pardon, who very honestly wrote
to her that he would not be so unjust to her friend,
whoever he was, as to put him to any expense for a
private solicitation ; for that he was very well assured
that his Majesty had resolved, from his own native dis
position to acts of clemency and mercy to his subjects,
to grant a general pardon, with some few exceptions
to persons extraordinary, and he hoped her friend was
none of the extraordinary persons to be excepted.
This was a kind of life from the dead to us both,
and it was resolved that my wife should go back in
the sloop directly to Virginia, where she should wait
the good news from England, and should send me an
account of it as soon as she received it.
Accordingly she went back, and came safe with
the sloop and cargo to our plantation, from whence,
[163]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
after above four months' more expectation, behold
the sloop came to me again, but empty and gutted
of all her cargo, except about a hundred sacks of
unground malt, which the pirates, not knowing hovr
to brew, knew not what to do with, and so had left
in her. However, to my infinite satisfaction, there
was a packet of letters from my wife, with another
to her from England, as well one from her friend as
one from my own correspondent ; both of them inti
mating that the king had signed an act of grace,
that is to say, a general free pardon, and sent me
copies of the act, wherein it was manifest that I was
fully included.
And here let me hint, that having now, as it were,
received my life at the hands of King George, and in
a manner so satisfying as it was to me, it made a
generous convert of me, and I became sincerely given
in to the interest of King George ; and this from a
principle of gratitude and a sense of my obligation
to his Majesty for my life ; and it has continued ever
since, and will certainly remain with me as long as
any sense of honour and of the debt of gratitude re
mains with me. I mention this to hint how far in
such cases justice and duty to ourselves commands
us ; namely, that to those who graciously give us our
lives when it is in their power to take them away,
those lives are a debt ever after, and ought to be set
apart for their service and interest as long as any of
[164]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
the powers of life remain, for gratitude is a debt that
never ceases while the benefit received remains ; and
if my prince has given me my life, I can never pay
the debt fully, unless such a circumstance as this
should happen, that the prince's life should be in my
power, and I as generously preserved it. And yet
neither would the obligation be paid then, because
the cases would differ ; thus, that my preserving the
life of my prince was my natural duty, whereas the
prince on his side, my life being forfeited to him,
had no motive but mere clemency and beneficence.
Perhaps this principle may not please all that read
it; but as I have resolved to guide my actions in
things of such a nature by the rules of strict virtue
and principles of honour, so I must lay it down as
a rule of honour, that a man having once forfeited
his life to the justice of his prince and to the laws
of his country, and receiving it back as a bounty
from the grace of his sovereign, such a man can never
lift up his hand again against that prince without a
forfeiture of his virtue and an irreparable breach of
his honour and duty, and deserves no pardon after it
either from God or man. But all this is a digres
sion : I leave it as a sketch of the laws of honour,
printed by the laws of nature in the breast of a
soldier or a man of honour, and which, I believe, all
impartial persons who understand what honour means
will subscribe to.
[165]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
But I return now to my present circumstances.
My wife was gone, and with her all my good fortune
and success in business seemed to have forsaken me ;
and I had another scene of misery to go through,
after I had thought that all my misfortunes were
over and at an end.
My sloop, as I have told you, arrived, but having
met with a pirate rogue in the Gulf of Florida, they
took her first ; then finding her cargo to be all eata
bles, which they always want, they gutted her of
all her loading, except, as I have said, about a hun
dred sacks of malt, which they really knew not what
to do with ; and, which was still worse, they took
away all the men except the master and two boys,
who they left on board just to run the vessel into
Antigua, where they said they were bound.
But the most valuable part of my cargo, viz., a
packet of letters from England, those they left, to
my inexpressible comfort and satisfaction ; and, par
ticularly, that by those 1 saw my way home to return
to my wife and to my plantations, from which I
promised myself never to wander any more.
In order to this, I now embarked myself and
all my effects on board the sloop, resolving to sail
directly to the Capes of Virginia. My captain beat
ing it up to reach the Bahama channel, had not been
two days at sea but we were overtaken by a violent
storm, which drove us so far upon the coast of
[166]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Florida as that we twice struck upon the shore, and
had we struck a third time we had been inevitably
lost. A day or two after that, the storm abating a
little, we kept the sea, but found the wind blowing so
strong against our passing the gulf, and the sea going
so high, we could not hold it any longer. So we were
forced to bear away and make what shift we could ;
in which distress, the fifth day after, we made land,
but found it to be Cape , the north-west part of
the isle of Cuba. Here we found ourselves under a
necessity to run in under the land for shelter, though
we had not come to an anchor, so we had not touched
the king of Spain's territories at all. However, in
the morning we were surrounded with five Spanish
barks, or boats, such as they call barco longos, full
of men, who instantly boarded us, took us and
carried us into the Havannah, the most considera
ble port belonging to the Spaniards in that part of
the world.
Here the sloop was immediately seized, and in
consequence plundered, as any one that knows the
Spaniards, especially in that country, will easily guess.
Our men were made prisoners and sent to the com
mon gaol ; and as for myself and the captain, we
were carried before the Alcade Major, or intendant
of the place, as criminals.
I spoke Spanish very well, having served under the
king of Spain in Italy, and it stood me in good stead
[167]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
at this time ; for I so effectually argued the injus
tice of their treatment of me that the governor, or
what I ought to call him, frankly owned they ought
not to have stopped me, seeing I was in the open sea
pursuing my voyage, and offered no offence to any
body, and had not landed or offered to land upon
any part of his Catholic Majesty's dominions till I
was brought as a prisoner.
It was a great favour that I could obtain thus
much ; but I found it easier to obtain an acknowl
edgment that I had received wrong than to get
any satisfaction for that wrong, and much less was
there any hope or prospect of restitution ; and I
was let know that I was to wait till an account
could be sent to the viceroy of Mexico, and orders
could be received back from him how to act in the
affair.
I could easily foresee what all this tended to,
namely, to a confiscation of the ship and goods by
the ordinary process at the place ; and that my being
left to the decision of the viceroy of Mexico was but
a pretended representation of things to him from
the corregidore or judge of the place.
However, I had no remedy but the old insig
nificant thing called patience, and this I was better
furnished with because I did not so much value the
loss as I made them believe I did. My greatest ap
prehensions were that they would detain me and
[168]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
keep me as a prisoner for life, and perhaps send me
to their mines in Peru, as they have done many,
and pretended to do to all that come on shore in
their dominions, how great soever the distresses
may have been which have brought them thither,
and which has been the reason why others who have
been forced on shore have committed all manner of
violence upon the Spaniards in their turn, resolving,
however dear they sold their lives, not to fall into
their hands.
But I got better quarter among them than that
too, which was, as I have said, much of it owing to
my speaking Spanish, and to my telling them how
I had fought in so many occasions in the quarrel of
his Catholic Majesty in Italy ; and, by great good
chance, I had the king of France^s commission for
lieutenant-colonel in the Irish brigade in my pocket,
where it was mentioned that the said brigade was
then serving in the armies of France, under the or
ders of his Catholic Majesty, in Italy.
I failed not to talk up the gallantry and personal
bravery of his Catholic Majesty on all occasions, and
particularly in many battles where, by the way, his
Majesty had never been at all, and in some where I
had never been myself. But I found I talked to
people who knew nothing of the matter, and so any
thing went down with them if it did but praise the
king of Spain and talk big of the Spanish cavalry,
[169]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
of which, God knows, there was not one regiment in
the army, at least while I was there.
However, this way of managing myself obtained
me the liberty of the place, upon my parole that I
would not attempt an escape ; and I obtained also,
which was a great favour, to have two hundred
pieces of eight allowed me out of the sale of my
cargo for subsistence till I could negotiate my affairs
at Mexico. As for my men, they were maintained
as prisoners at the public charge.
Well, after several months' solicitation and attend
ance, all I could obtain was the satisfaction of seeing
my ship and cargo confiscated and my poor sailors
in a fair way to be sent to the mines. The last I
begged off, upon condition of paying three hundred
pieces of eight for their ransom, and having them
set on shore at Antigua, and myself to remain host
age for the payment of the said three hundred pieces
of eight, and for two hundred pieces of eight, which
I had already had, and for five hundred pieces of
eight more for my own ransom, if, upon a return
from Mexico, the sentence of confiscation, as above,
should be confirmed by the viceroy.
These were hard articles indeed, but I was forced
to submit to them ; nor, as my circumstances were
above all such matters as these, as to substance, did
I lay it much to heart. The greatest difficulty that
lay in my way was, that I knew not how to corre-
[170]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
spond with my friends in any part of the world, or
which way to supply myself with necessaries or with
money for the payment I had agreed to, the Span
iards being so tenacious of their ports that they
allowed nobody to come on shore, or indeed near
the shore, from any part of the world, upon pain of
seizure and confiscation, as had been my case already.
Upon this difficulty I began to reason with the cor-
regidore, and tell him that he put things upon us
that were impossible, and that were inconsistent with
the customs of nations ; that, if a man was prisoner
at Algiers, they would allow him to write to his
friends to pay his ransom, and would admit the
person that brought it to come and go free as a
public person, and if they did not, no treaty could
be carried on for the ransom of a slave, nor the con
ditions be performed when they are agreed upon.
I brought it then down to my own case, and de
sired to know, upon supposition, that I might, within
the time limited in that agreement, have the sums
of money ready for the ransom of my men and of
myself, how I should obtain to have notice given me
of it, or how it should be brought, seeing the very
persons bringing that notice, or afterwards presum
ing to bring the money, might be liable to be seized
and confiscated, as I had been, and the money itself
be taken as a second prize, without redeeming the
first.
[171]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Though this was so reasonable a request that it
could not be withstood in point of argument, yet the
Spaniard shrunk his head into his shoulders, and
said they had not power sufficient to act in such a
case ; that the king's laws were so severe against the
suffering any strangers to set their foot on his
Catholic Majesty's dominions in America, and they
could not dispense with the least tittle of them with
out a particular assiento, as they called it, from the
Consulado, or Chamber of Commerce, at Seville, or
a command under the hand and seal of the viceroy
of Mexico.
" How ! signior corregidore," said I, with some
warmth, and, as it were, with astonishment, "have
you not authority enough to sign a passport for an
agent, or ambassador, to come on shore here, from
any of the king of Great Britain's governors in these
parts, under a white flag, or flag of truce, to speak
with the governor of this place, or with any other
person in the king's name, on the subject of such
business as the governor may have to communicate ?
Why," said I, " if you cannot do that, you cannot
act according to the law of nations."
He shook his head, but still said no, he could not
do even so much as that ; but here one of the mili
tary governors put in and opposed him, and they two
differed warmly, the first insisting that their orders
were deficient in that particular ; but the other said
[172]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
that, as they were bound up to them, it could not be
in their power to act otherwise, and that they were
answerable for the ill consequences.
" Well, then," says the governor to the corregidore,
" now you have kept this Englishman as hostage for
the ransom of the men that you have dismissed, sup
pose he tells you the money is ready, either at such, or
such, or such a place, how shall he bring it hither ?
You will take all the people prisoners that offer to
bring it ; what must he do ? If you say you will send
and fetch it, what security shall he have that he shall
have his liberty when it is paid you ? and why should
he trust you so far as to pay the money, and yet re
main here a prisoner ?"
This carried so much reason with it that the cor
regidore knew not what to say, but that so was the
law, and he could act no otherwise but by the very
letter of it ; and here each was so positive that
nothing could determine it but another express to be
sent to the viceroy of Mexico.
Upon this the governor was so kind as to say he
would get me a passport for anybody that should
bring the money, and any vessel they were in, by his
own authority, and for their safe returning, and tak
ing me with them, provided I would answer for it
that they should bring no European or other goods
whatever with them, and should not set foot on shore
without his express permission, and provided he did
[173]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
not receive orders to the contrary, in the meantime,
from any superior hand ; and that, even in such a
case, they should have liberty to go back freely
from whence they came, under the protection of a
white flag.
I bowed very respectfully to the governor in token
of my acknowledging his justice, and then presented
my humble petition to him that he would allow my
men to take their own sloop ; that it should be rated
at a certain value, and would be obliged they should
bring specie on board with them, and that they
should either pay it for the sloop or leave the sloop
again.
Then he inquired to what country he would send
them for so much money, and if I could assure him
of the payment ; and when he understood it was no
farther than to Virginia he seemed very easy ; and,
to satisfy the corregidore, who still stood off, adher
ing with a true Spanish stiffness to the letter of the
law, the said governor calls out to me : " Signior,"
says he, " I shall make all this matter easy to you, if
you agree to my proposal. Your men shall have the
sloop, on condition you shall be my hostage for her
return ; but they shall not take her as your sloop,
though she shall in the effect be yours on the pay
ment of the money ; but you shall take two of my
men on board with you, upon your parole for their
safe return, and when she returns she shall carry his
[174]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Catholic Majesty's colours, and be entered as one of
the sloops belonging to the Havannah ; one of the
Spaniards to be commander, and to be called by
such a name as he shall appoint."
This the corregidore came into immediately, anrl
said this was within the letter, of the king's cowi-
manderie or precept ; upon condition, however, that
she should bring no European goods on board. I
desired it might be put in other words ; namely,
that she should bring no European goods on shore.
It cost two days' debate between these two whether
it should pass that no European goods should be
brought in the ship or brought on shore ; but hav
ing found means to intimate that I meant not to
trade there, but would not be tied from bringing a
small present to a certain person in acknowledgment
of favours I say, after I had found room to place
such a hint right where it should be placed, I found
it was all made easy to me ; and it was all agreed
presently that, after the ransom was paid, and the
ship also bought, it was but reasonable that I should
have liberty to trade to any other country not in the
dominions of the king of Spain, so to make up my
losses ; and that it would be hard to oblige my men
to bring away the vessel light, and so lose the voy
age, and add so much to our former misfortunes ;
that, so long as no goods were brought on shore in
the country belonging to his Catholic Majesty's
[175]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
dominions, which was all that they had to defend,
the rest was no business of theirs.
Now I began to see my way through this unhappy
business, and to find, that as money would bring me
out of it, so money would bring it to turn to a good
account another way. Wherefore I sent the sloop
away under Spanish colours, and called her the
Nuestra Signiora de la Val de Grace, commanded
by Signior Giraldo de Nesma, one of the two
Spaniards.
With the sloop I sent letters to my wife and to
my chief manager with orders to load her back, as I
there directed, viz., that she should have two hun
dred barrels of flour, fifty barrels of pease ; and, to
answer my other views, I ordered a hundred bales to
be made up of all sorts of European goods, such as
not my own warehouses only would supply, but such
as they could be supplied with in other warehouses
where I knew they had credit for anything.
In this cargo I directed all the richest and most
valuable English goods they had, or could get,
whether linen, woollen, or silk, to be made up ; the
coarser things, such as we use in Virginia for clothing
of servants, such I ordered to be left behind for the
use of the plantation. In less than seven weeks'
time the sloop returned, and I, that failed not every
day to look out for her on the strand, was the first
that spied her at sea at a distance, and knew her by
[ 176 ]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
her sails, but afterwards more particularly by her
signals.
When she returned she came into the road with
her Spanish ancient flying, and came to an anchor
as directed ; but I, that had seen her some hours be
fore, went directly to the governor and gave him an
account of her being come, and fain I would have
obtained the favour to have his excellency, as I
called him, go on board in person, that he might
see how well his orders were executed. But he
declined that, saying he could not justify going off
of the island, which was, in short, to go out of his
command of the fort, which he could not reassume
without a new commission from the king's own
hand.
Then I asked leave to go on board myself, which
he granted me ; and I brought on shore with me the
full sum in gold which I had conditioned to pay for
the ransom both of my men and myself, and for the
purchase of the sloop ; and as I obtained leave to
land in a different place, so my governor sent his son
with six soldiers to receive and convey me with the
money to the castle, where he commanded, and
therein to his own house. I had made up the
money in heavy parcels, as if it had been all silver,
and gave it to two of my men who belonged to the
sloop, with orders to them that they should make it
seem, by their carrying it, to be much heavier than
VOL. n. 12 [177]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
it was. This was done to conceal three parcels of
goods which I had packed up with the money to
make a present to the governor as I intended.
When the money was carried in and laid down on
a table, the governor ordered my men to withdraw,
and I gave the soldiers each of them a piece of eight
to drink, for which they were very thankful, and the
governor seemed well pleased with it also. Then I
asked him presently if he would please to receive the
money. He said no, he would not receive it but in
presence of the corregidore and the other people
concerned. Then I begged his excellency, as I
called him, to give me leave to open the parcels in
his presence, for that I would do myself the honour
to acknowledge his favours in the best manner I
could.
He told me no, he could not see anything be
brought on shore but the money ; but, if I had
brought anything on shore for my own use, he
would not be so strict as to inquire into that, so I
might do what I pleased myself.
Upon that I went into the place, shut myself in,
and having opened all the things, placed them to my
mind. There was five little parcels, as follows :
1, 2. A piece of twenty yards fine English broad
cloth, five yards black, five yards crimson, in one par
cel ; and the rest of fine mixtures in another parcel.
3. A piece of thirty ells of fine Holland linen.
[178]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
4. A piece of eighteen yards of fine English brocaded
silk.
5. A piece of black Colchester bays.
After I had placed these by themselves, I found
means, with some seeming difficulties and much
grimace, to bring him to know that this was intended
for a present to himself. After all that part was
over, and he had seemed to accept them, he signified,
after walking a hundred turns and more in the room
by them, by throwing his hat, which was under
his arm, upon them, and making a very stiff bow ;
I say, after this he seemed to take his leave of me
for a while, and I waited in an outer room. When
I was called in again, I found that he had looked
over all the particulars, and caused them to be
removed out of the place.
But when I came again I found him quite another
man. He thanked me for my present ; told me it
was a present fit to be given to a viceroy of Mexico
rather than to a mere governor of a fort ; that he
had done me no services suitable to such a return,
but that he would see if he could not oblige me
further before I left the place.
After our compliments were over I obtained leave
to have the corregidore sent for, who accordingly
came, and in his presence the money stipulated for
the ransom of the ship and of the men was paid.
But here the corregidore showed that he would be
[179]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
as severely just on my side as on theirs, for he would
not admit the money as a ransom for us as prisoners,
but as a deposit for so much as we were to be ran
somed for if the sentence of our being made prisoners
should be confirmed.
And then the governor and corregidore, joining
together, sent a representation of the whole affair
at least we were told so to the viceroy of Mexico ;
and it was privately hinted to me that I would do
well to stay for the return of the avwo that is, a
boat which they send over the bay to Vera Cruz with
an express to Mexico, whose return is generally per
formed in two months.
I was not unwilling to stay, having secret hints
given me that I should find some way to go with my
sloop towards Vera Cruz myself, where I might have
an occasion to trade privately for the cargo which I
had on board. But it came about a nearer way ;
for, about two days after this money being deposited,
as above, the governor's son invited himself on board
my sloop, where I told him I would be very glad to
see him, and whither, at the same time, he brought
with him three considerable merchants, Spaniards,
two of them not inhabitants of the place. ,
When they were on board they were very merry
and pleasant, and I treated them so much to their
satisfaction that, in short, they were not well able to
go on shore for that night, but were content to take
[180]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
a nap on some carpets, which I caused to be spread
for them ; and that the governor's son might think
himself well used, I brought him a very good silk
nightgown, with a crimson velvet cap, to lie down
in, and in the morning desired him to accept of them
for his use, which he took very kindly.
During that merry evening one of the merchants,
not so touched with drink as the young gentleman,
nor so as not to mind what it was he came about,
takes an occasion to withdraw out of the great cabin
and enter into a parley with the master of the sloop
in order to trade for what European goods we had
on board. The master took the hint, and gave me
notice of what had passed, and I gave him instruc
tions what to say and what to do ; according to which
instructions they made but few words, bought the
goods for about five thousand pieces of eight, and car
ried them away themselves, and at their own hazards.
This was very agreeable to me, for now I began to
see I should lick myself whole by the sale of this
cargo, and should make myself full amends of Jack
Spaniard for all the injuries he had done me in the
first of these things. With this view I gave my
master or captain of the sloop instructions for sale
of all the rest of the goods, and left him to manage
by himself, which he did so well that he sold the
whole cargo the next day to the three Spaniards;
with this additional circumstance, that they desired
[181]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
the sloop might carry the goods, as they were on
board, to such part of the terra firma as they should
appoint between the Honduras and the coast of La
Vera Cruz.
It was difficult for me to make good this part of
the bargain, but finding the price agreed for would
very well answer the voyage, I consented. But then
how to send the sloop away and remain among the
Spaniards when I was now a clear man, this was a
difficulty too, as it was also to go away, and not
wait for a favourable answer from the viceroy of
Mexico to the representation of the governor and
the corregidore. However, at last I resolved to go
in the sloop, fall out what would ; so I went to the
governor and represented to him that, being now to
expect a favourable answer from Mexico, it would be
a great loss to me to keep the sloop there all the
while, and I desired his leave for me to go with the
sloop to Antigua to sell and dispose of the cargo,
which he well knew I was obliged not to bring on
shore there at the Havannah, and which would be
in danger of being spoiled by lying so long on board.
This I obtained readily, with license to come again
into the road, and, for myself only, to come on
shore in order to hear the viceroy's pleasure in my
case, which was depending.
Having thus obtained a license or passport for
the sloop and myself, I put to sea with the three
[182]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Spanish merchants on board with me. They told
me they did not live at the Havannah, but it seems
one of them did ; and some rich merchants of the
Havannah, or of the parts thereabouts in the same
island, were concerned with them, for they brought
on board, that night we put to sea, a great sum of
money in pieces of eight ; and, as I understood after
wards, that these merchants bought the cargo of me,
and though they gave me a very great price for
everything, yet that they sold them again to
the merchants, who they procured on the coast
of La Vera Cruz, at a prodigious advantage, so that
they got above a hundred per cent, after I had
gained very sufficiently before.
We sailed from the Havannah directly for Vera
Cruz. I scrupled venturing into the port at first,
and was very uneasy lest I should have another
Spanish trick put upon me ; but as we sailed under
Spanish colours, they showed us such authentic
papers from the proper officers that there was no
room to fear anything.
However, when we came in sight of the Spanish
coast, I found they had a secret clandestine trade to
carry on, which, though it was secret, yet they knew
the way of it so well that it was but a mere road to
them. The case was this : we stood in close under
the shore in the night, about six leagues to the north
of the port, where two of the three merchants went
[183]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
on shore in the boat, and in three hours or there
abouts they came on board again with five canoes
and seven or eight merchants more with them, and
as soon as they were on board we stood off to sea, so
that by daylight we were quite out of sight of land.
I ought to have mentioned before that as soon as
we were put to sea from the Havannah, and during
our voyage into the Gulf of Mexico, which was
eight days, we rummaged the whole cargo, and
opening every bale as far as the Spanish merchants
desired, we trafficked with them for the whole cargo,
except the barrels of flour and pease.
This cargo was considerable in itself, for my wife's
account or invoice, drawn out by my tutor and
manager, amounted to .2684, 10s., and I sold the
whole, including what had been sold in the evening,
when they were on board first, as I have said, for
thirty-eight thousand five hundred and ninety-three
pieces of eight, and they allowed me twelve hundred
pieces of eight for the freight of the sloop, and made
my master and the seamen very handsome presents
besides ; and they were well able to do this too, as
you shall hear presently.
After we were gotten out of sight of land the
Spaniards fell to their traffic, and our three merchants
opened their shop, as they might say, for it was
their shop. As to me, I had nothing to do with it
or with their goods. They drove their bargain in a
[184]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
few hours, and at night we stood in again for the
shore, when the five canoes carried a great part of
the goods on shore, and brought the money back in
specie, as well for that they carried as for all the rest,
and at their second voyage carried all away clear,
leaving me nothing on board but my barrels of flour
and pease, which they bade me money for too, but
not so much as I expected.
Here I found that my Spanish merchants made
above seventy thousand pieces of eight of the cargo
I had sold them, upon which I had a great mind to
be acquainted with those merchants on the terra
firma, who were the last customers ; for it presently
occurred to me that I could easily go with a sloop
from Virginia, and taking a cargo directed on pur
pose from England of about ^5000 or ^6000, I
might easily make four of one. With this view I
began to make a kind of an acquaintance with the
Spaniards which came in the canoes, and we became
so intimate that at last, with the consent of the three
Spaniards of the Havannah, I accepted an invitation
on shore to their house, which was a little villa, or
rather plantation, where they had an ingenio, that is
to say, a sugar-house, or sugar- work, and there they
treated us like princes.
I took occasion at this invitation to say that, if I
knew how to find my way thither again, I could visit
them once or twice a year, very much to their ad-
[185]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
vantage and mine too. One of the Spaniards took
the hint, and taking me into a room by myself,
" Seignior,' 1 says he, " if you have any thoughts of
coming to this place again, I shall give you such
directions as you shall be sure not to mistake ; and,
upon either coming on shore in the night and coming
up to this place, or upon making the signals which
we shall give you, we will not fail to come off to you,
and bring money enough for any cargaison " (so they
call it) " that you shall bring."
I took all their directions, took their paroles of
honour for my safety, and, without taking any notice
to my first three merchants, laid up the rest in my
most secret thoughts, resolving to visit them again
in as short a time as I could ; and thus having, in
about five days, finished all our merchandising, we
stood off to sea, and made for the island of Cuba,
where I set my three Spaniards on shore with all
their treasure, to their heart's content, and made the
best of my way to Antigua, where, with all the de
spatch I could, I sold my two hundred barrels of flour,
which, however, had suffered a little by the length
of the voyage ; and having laden the sloop with
rum, molasses, and sugar, I set sail again for the
Havannah.
I was now uneasy indeed, for fear of the pirates,
for I was a rich ship, having, besides goods, near forty
thousand pieces of eight in silver.
[186]
When I came back to the Havannah, I went on
shore to wait on the governor and the corregidore,
and to hear what return was had from the viceroy,
and had the good fortune to know that the viceroy
had disallowed that part of the sentence which con
demned us as prisoners and put a ransom on us,
which he insisted could not be but in time of open
war. But as to the confiscation, he deferred it to the
Chamber or Council of Commerce at Seville, and the
appeal to the king, if such be preferred.
This was, in some measure, a very good piece of
justice in the viceroy ; for, as we had not been on
shore, we could not be legally imprisoned ; and for
the rest, I believe if I would have given myself the
trouble to have gone to Old Spain, and have pre
ferred my claim to both the ship and the cargo, I
had recovered them also.
However, as it was, I was now a freeman without
ransom, and my men were also free, so that all the
money which I had deposited, as above, was returned
me ; and thus I took my leave of the Havannah, and
made the best of my way for Virginia, where I ar
rived after a year and a half 's absence ; and notwith
standing all my losses, came home above forty
thousand pieces of eight richer than I went out.
As to the old affair about the Preston prisoners,
that was quite at an end, for the general pardon
passed in Parliament made me perfectly easy, and I
[187]
.THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
took no more thought about that part. I might
here very usefully observe how necessary and insepar
able a companion fear is to guilt. It was but a few
months before that the face of a poor Preston trans
port would have frighted me out of my wits ; to
avoid them I feigned myself sick, and wrapped my
legs in flannel, as if I had the gout ; whereas now
they were no more surprise to me, nor was I any
more uneasy to see them, than I was to see any other
of the servants of the plantations.
And that which was more particular than all was,
that, though before I fancied every one of them
would know me and remember me, and consequently
betray and accuse me, now, though I was frequently
among them, and saw most of them, if not all of
them, one time or other, nay, though I remembered
several of their faces, and even some of their names,
yet there was not a man of them that ever took the
least notice of me, or of having known or seen me
before.
It would have been a singular satisfaction to me if
I could have known so much as this of them before,
and have saved me all the fatigue, hazard, and mis
fortune that befell me afterwards ; but man, a short
sighted creature, sees so little before him that he can
neither anticipate his joys nor prevent his disasters,
be they ever so little a distance from him. >
I had now my head full of my West India proj-
[188]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
ect, and I began to make provision for it accord
ingly. I had a full account of what European goods
were most acceptable in New Spain ; and, to add to
my speed, I knew that the Spaniards were in great
want of European goods, the galleons from Old
Spain having been delayed to an unusual length of
time for the two years before. Upon this account,
not having time, as I thought, to send to England
for a cargo of such goods as were most proper, I
resolved to load my sloop with tobacco and rum,
the last I brought from Antigua, and go away to
Boston in New England, and to New York, and see
if I could pick up a cargo to my mind.
Accordingly, I took twenty thousand pieces of
eight in money, and my sloop laden as above,
and taking my wife with me, we went away. It
was an odd and new thing at New England to
have such a quantity of goods bought up there by
a sloop from Virginia, and especially to be paid for
in ready money, as I did for most of my goods ;
and this set all the trading heads upon the stretch,
to inquire what and who I was; to which they had
an immediate and direct answer, that I was a very
considerable planter in Virginia, and that was all
any of my men on board the sloop could tell of me,
and enough too.
Well, it was the cause of much speculation among
them, as I heard at second and third hands. Some
[189]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
said, " He is certainly going to Jamaica ; " others
said, " He is going to trade with the Spaniards ; "
others that " He is going to the South Sea and turn
half merchant, half pirate, on the coast of Chili and
Peru ; " some one thing, some another, as the men
gossips found their imaginations directed ; but we
went on with our business, and laid out twelve
thousand pieces of eight, besides our cargo of rum
and tobacco, and went from thence to New York,
where we laid out the rest.
The chief of the cargo we bought here was fine
English broadcloth, serges, druggets, Norwich stuffs,
bays, says, and all kinds of woollen manufactures, as
also linen of all sorts, a very great quantity, and near
dflOOO in fine silks of several sorts. Being thus
freighted, I came back safe to Virginia, and with very
little addition to my cargo, began to prepare for my
West India voyage.
I should have mentioned that I had built upon
my sloop and raised her a little, so that I had made
her carry twelve guns, and fitted her up for defence ;
for I thought she should not be attacked and boarded
by a few Spanish barco longos, as she was before ;
and I found the benefit of it afterwards, as you shall
hear.
We set sail the beginning of August, and as I had
twice been attacked by pirates in passing the Gulf
of Florida, or among the Bahama Islands, I resolved,
[190]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
though it was farther about, to stand off to sea, and
so keep, as I believed it would be, out of the way of
them.
We passed the tropic, as near as we could guess,
just where the famous Sir William Phipps fished up
the silver from the Spanish plate wreck, and, stand
ing in between the islands, kept our course W. by S.,
keeping under the isle of Cuba, and so running away,
trade, as they call it, into the great Gulf of Mexico,
leaving the island of Jamaica to the S. and S.E., by
this means avoiding, as I thought, all the Spaniards
of Cuba or the Havannah.
As we passed the west point of Cuba three Spanish
boats came off to board us, as they had done before,
on the other side of the island. But they found
themselves mistaken ; we were too many for them,
for we run out our guns, which they did not perceive
before, and firing three or four shots at them, they
retired.
The next morning they appeared again, being five
large boats and a barque, and gave us chase ; but we
then spread our Spanish colours, and brought to to
fight them, at which they retired ; so we escaped this
danger by the addition of force which we had made
to our vessel.
We now had a fair run for our port, and as I had
taken very good directions, I stood away to the north
of St. John d'Ulva, and then running in for the
[191]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
shore, found the place appointed exactly ; and going
on shore, I sent the master of my sloop directly to
the ingeniO) where he found the Spanish merchant
at his house, and where he dwelt like a sovereign
prince, who welcomed him, and understanding that
I was in a particular boat at the creek, as appointed,
he came immediately with him, and bringing another
Spaniard from a villa not far off, in about four hours
they were with me.
They would have persuaded me to go up to their
houses arid have stayed there till the next night,
ordering the sloop to stand off as usual, but I would
not consent to let the sloop go to sea without me, so
we went on board directly, and, as the night was
almost run, stood off to sea ; so by daybreak we were
quite out of sight of land.
Here we began, as I said before, to open shop,
and I found the Spaniards were extremely surprised
at seeing such a cargo I mean so large ; for, in
short, they had cared not if it had been four times
as much. They soon ran through the contents of
all the bales we opened that night, and, with very
little dispute about the price, they approved and
accepted all that I showed them ; but as they said
they had not money for any greater parcel, they
agreed to go on shore the next evening for more
money.
However, we spent the remainder of the night in
[192]
COLONEL JACUUE'S ARRIVAL is ANNOUNCED
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
looking over and making inventories or invoices of
the rest of the cargo, that so they might see the
goods, know the value, and know what more money
they had to bring.
Accordingly, in the evening we stood in for the
shore, and they earned part of the cargo with them,
borrowing the sloop's boat to assist them ; and after
they had lodged and landed the goods they came
on board again, bringing three of the other mer
chants with them who were concerned before, and
money enough to clear the whole ship ay, and
ship and all, if I had been willing to sell her.
To give them their due, they dealt with me like
men of honour. They were indeed sensible that
they bought everything much cheaper of me than
they did before of the three merchants of the
Havannah, these merchants having been, as it were,
the hucksters, and bought them first of me, and then
advanced, as I have said, above one hundred per
cent, upon the price they gave me. But yet, at
the same time, I advanced in the price much more
now than I did before to the said Spaniards ; nor
was it without reason, because of the length and risk
of the voyage, both out and home, which now lay
wholly upon me.
In short, I sold the whole cargo to them, and for
which I received near two hundred thousand pieces
of eight in money ; besides which, when they came
VOL. II. 13 [ 193 ]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
on board the second time, they brought all their
boats loaden with fresh provisions, hogs, sheep,
fowls, sweetmeats, &c., enough for my whole voyage,
all which they made a present of to me. And thus
we finished our traffic to our mutual satisfaction, and
parted with promises of further commerce, and with
assurances on their part of all acts of friendship and
assistance that I could desire if any disaster should
befall me in any of these adventures as indeed
was not improbable, considering the strictness and
severity of their customs in case any people were
trading upon their coast.
I immediately called a council with my little crew
which way we should go back. The mate was for
beating it up to windward and getting up to
Jamaica ; but as we were too rich to run any risks,
and were to take the best course to get safe home, I
thought, and so did the master of the sloop, that
our best way was to coast about the bay, and, keep
ing the shore of Florida on board, make the shortest
course to the gulf, and so make for the coast of
Carolina, and to put in there into the first port we
could, and wait for any English men-of-war that
might be on the coast to secure us to the capes.
This was the best course we could take, and proved
very safe to us, excepting that, about the cape of
Florida, and on the coast in the gulf, till we came
to the height of St. Augustine, we were several
[194]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
times visited with the Spaniards' barco longos and
small barks, in hopes of making a prize of us ; but
carrying Spanish colours deceived most of them,
and a good tier of guns kept the rest at a distance,
so that we came safe, though once or twice in dan
ger of being run on shore by a storm of wind
I say, we came safe into Charles River in Carolina.
From hence I found means to send a letter home,
with an account to my wife of my good success ; and
having an account that the coast was clear of pirates,
though there were no men-of-war in the place, I ven
tured forward, and, in short, got safe into the Bay
of Chesapeake, that is to say, within the capes of
Virginia, and in a few days more to my own house,
having been absent three months and four days.
Never did any vessel on this side the world make a
better voyage in so short a time that I made in this
sloop ; for by the most moderate computation I
cleared in these three months ^25,000 sterling in
ready money, all the charges of the voyages to New
England also being reckoned up.
Now was my time to have sat still, contented with
what I had got, if it was in the power of man to
know when his good fortune was at the highest.
And more, my prudent wife gave it as her opinion
that I should sit down satisfied and push the affair
no farther, and earnestly persuaded me to do so.
But I, that had a door open, as I thought, to im-
[195]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
mense treasure, that had found the way to have a
stream of the golden rivers of Mexico flow into my
plantation of Virginia, and saw no hazards more
than what were common to all such things in the
prosecution I say, to me these things looked with
another face, and I dreamed of nothing but millions
and hundreds of thousands ; so, contrary to all
moderate measures, I pushed on for another voyage,
and laid up a stock of all sorts of goods that I could
get together proper for the trade. I did not indeed
go again to New England, for I had by this time
a very good cargo come from England pursuant to a
commission I had sent several months before ; so
that, in short, my cargo, according to the invoice
now made out, amounted to above 1 0,000 sterling
first cost, and was a cargo so sorted and so well
bought that I expected to have advanced upon
them much more in proportion than I had done in
the cargo before.
With these expectations we began our second
voyage in April, being about five months after our
return from the first. We had not indeed the same
good speed, even in our beginning, as we had at
first ; for though we stood off to sea about sixty
leagues in order to be out of the way of the pirates,
yet we had not been above five days at sea but we
were visited and rifled by two pirate barks, who,
being bound to the northward, that is to say, the
[196]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
banks of Newfoundland, took away all our provisions
and all our ammunition and small arms, and left
us very ill provided to pursue our voyage ; and it
being so near home, we thought it advisable to come
about and stand in for the capes again, to restore
our condition and furnish ourselves with stores of
all kinds for our voyage. This took us up about
ten days, and we put to sea again. As for our cargo,
the pirates did not meddle with it, being all bale
goods, which they had no present use for, and knew
not what to do with if they had them.
We met with no other adventure worth naming
till, by the same course that we had steered before,
we came into the Gulf of Mexico ; and the first mis
fortune we met with here was, that, on the back of
Cuba, crossing towards the point of the terra Jtrma,
on the coast of Yucatan, we had sight of the flota
of New Spain, that is, of the ships which come from
Carthagena or Porto Bello, and go to the Havan-
nah, in order to pursue their voyage to Europe.
They had with them one Spanish man-of-war and
three frigates. Two of the frigates gave us chase ;
but, it being just at the shutting in of the day, we
soon lost sight of them, and standing to the north,
across the Bay of Mexico, as if we were going to the
mouth of Mississippi, they lost us quite, and in a
few days more we made the bottom of the bay, being
the port we were bound for.
[197]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
We stood in as usual in the night, and gave notice
to our friends ; but instead of their former readiness
to come on board, they gave us notice that we had
been seen in the bay, and that notice of us was given
at Vera Cruz and at other places, and that several
frigates were in quest of us, and that three more
would be cruising the next morning in search for us.
We could not conceive how this could be ; but we
were afterwards told that those three frigates, hav
ing lost sight of us in the night, had made in for
the shore, and had given the alarm of us as of
privateers.
Be that as it would, we had nothing to do but to
consider what course to take immediately. The
Spanish merchants 1 advice was very good if we had
taken it, namely, to have unladen as many of our
bales as we could that very night by the help of
our boat and their canoes, and to make the best of
our way in the morning to the north of the gulf,
and take our fate.
This my skipper or master thought very well of,
but when we began to put it into execution, we were
so confused and in such a hurry, being not resolved
what course to take, that we could not get out above
sixteen bales of all sorts of goods before it began to
be too light and it behoved us to sail. At last the
master proposed a medium, which was, that I should
go on shore in the next boat, in which were five
[198]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
bales of goods more, and that I should stay on
shore if the Spanish merchants would undertake to
conceal me, and let them go to sea and take their
chance.
The Spanish merchants readily undertook to pro
tect me, especially it being so easy to have me pass
for a natural Spaniard, and so they took me on shore
with twenty-one bales of my goods, and the sloop
stood off to sea. If they met with any enemies they
were to stand in for the shore the next night ; and
we failed not to look well out for them, but to no
purpose, for the next day they were discovered and
chased by two Spanish frigates. They stood from
them, and the sloop, being an excellent sailer, gained
so much that they would certainly have been clear
of them when night came on, but a small picaroon
of a sloop kept them company in spite of all they
could do, and two or three times offered to engage
them, thereby to give time to the rest to come up ;
but the sloop kept her way, and gave them a chase
of three days and nights, having a fresh gale of
wind at S.W., till she made the Rio Grand, or, as
the French call it, the Mississippi, and there finding
no remedy, they ran the vessel on shore not far
from the fort which the Spaniards call Pensacola,
garrisoned at that time with French. Our men
would have entered the river as a port, but having.
no pilot, and the current of the river being strong
[199]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
against them, the sloop ran on shore, and the men
shifted as well as they could in their boats.
I was now in a very odd condition indeed. My
circumstances were in one sense, indeed, very happy
namely, that I was in the hands of my friends, for
such really they were, and so faithful that no men
could have been more careful of their own safety than
were they of mine ; and that which added to the
comfort of my new condition was the produce of
my goods, which were gotten on shore by their own
advice and direction, which was a fund sufficient to
maintain me with them as long as I could be sup
posed to stay there ; and if not, the first merchant
to whose house I went assured me that he would give
me credit for twenty thousand pieces of eight if I had
occasion for it.
My greatest affliction was, that I knew not how to
convey news to my wife of my present condition, and
how, among many misfortunes of the voyage, I was
yet safe and in good hands.
But there was no remedy for this part but the
great universal cure of all incurable sorrows, viz.,
patience ; and, indeed, I had a great deal of reason,
not for patience only, but thankfulness, if I had
known the circumstances which I should have been
reduced to if I had fallen into the hands of the
Spaniards ; the best of which that I could reason
ably have expected had been to have been sent to
[200]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
the mines, or, which was ten thousand times worse,
the Inquisition ; or, if I had escaped the Spaniards,
as my men in the sloop did, the hardships they were
exposed to, the dangers they were in, and the mis
eries they suffered were still worse in wandering
among savages, and the more savage French, who
plundered and stripped them, instead of relieving
and supplying them in their long wilderness journey
over the mountains till they reached the S.W. parts
of South Carolina, a journey which, indeed, deserves
to have an account to be given of it by itself. I say,
all these things, had I known of them, would have
let me see that I had a great deal of reason, not only
to be patient under my present circumstances, but
satisfied and thankful.
Here, as I said, my patron, the merchant, enter
tained me like a prince ; he made my safety his
peculiar care, and while we were in any expectation
of the sloop being taken and brought into Vera
Cruz, he kept me retired at a little house in a wood,
where he kept a fine aviary of all sorts of American
birds, and out of which he yearly sent some as
presents to his friends in Old* Spain.
This retreat was necessary lest, if the sloop should
be taken and brought into Vera Cruz, and the men
be brought in prisoners, they should be tempted to
give an account of me as their supercargo or mer
chant, and where both I and the twenty-one bales
[201]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
of goods were set on shore. As for the goods, he
made sure work with them, for they were all opened,
taken out of the bales, and separated, and, being
mixed with other European goods which came by
the galleons, were made up in new package, and
sent to Mexico in several parcels, some to one mer
chant, some to another, so that it was impossible to
have found them out, even if they had had informa
tion of them.
In this posture, and in apprehension of some bad
news of the sloop, I remained at the villa, or house
in the vale for so they called it about five
weeks. I had two negroes appointed to wait on me,
one of Which was my purveyor, or my cook, the
other my valet ; and my friend, the master of all,
came constantly every evening to visit and sup with
me, when we walked out together into the aviary,
which was, of its kind, the most beautiful thing that
ever I saw in the world.
After above five weeks'" retreat of this kind, he had
good intelligence of the fate of the sloop, viz., that
the two frigates and a sloop had chased her till she
ran on ground near the fort of Pensacola ; that they
saw her stranded and broke in pieces by the force
of the waves, the men making their escape in their
boat. This news was brought, it seems, by the said
frigates to La Vera Cruz, where my friend went on
purpose to be fully informed, and received the ac-
[202]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
count from one of the captains of the frigates, and
discoursed with him at large about it.
I was better pleased with the loss of the sloop and
all my cargo, the men being got on shore and escap
ing, than I should have been with the saving the
whole cargo, if the men had fallen into the hands of
the Spaniards ; for now I was safe, whereas then, it be
ing supposed they would have been forced to some dis
covery about me, I must have fled, and should have
found it very difficult to have made my escape, even
with all that my friends could have done for me too.
But now I was perfectly easy, and my friend, who
thought confining me at the house in the vale no
longer needful, brought me publicly home to his
dwelling-house, as a merchant come from Old Spain
by the last galleons, and who, having been at Mexico,
was come to reside with him.
Here I was dressed like a Spaniard of the better
sort, had three negroes to attend me, and was called
Don Ferdinand de Villa Moresa, in Castilia Feja
that is to say, in Old Castile.
Here I had nothing to do but to walk about and
ride out into the woods, and come home again to
enjoy the pleasantest and most agreeable retirement
in the world ; for certainly no men in the world live
in such splendour and wallow in such immense trea
sures as the merchants of this place.
They live, as I have said, in a kind of country
[203]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
retreat at their villas, or, as we would call them in
Virginia, their plantations, and, as they do call them,
their ingenios, where they make their indigo and
their sugars. But they have also houses and ware
houses at Vera Cruz, where they go twice a year,
when the galleons arrive from Old Spain, and when
those galleons re-lade for their return. And it was
surprising to me, when I went to La Vera Cruz with
them, to see what prodigious consignments they had
from their correspondents in Old Spain, and with
what despatch they managed them ; for no sooner
were the cases, packs, and bales of European goods
brought into their warehouses but they were opened
and repacked by porters and packers of their own
that is to say, negroes and Indian servants and
being made up into new bales and separate parcels,
were all despatched again by horses for Mexico, and
directed to their several merchants there, and the re
mainder carried home, as above, to the ingenio where
they lived, which was near thirty English miles from
Vera Cruz, so that in about twenty days their ware
houses were again entirely free. At La Vera Cruz,
all their business was over there, and they and all
their servants retired ; for they stayed no longer
there than needs must, because of the unhealthiness
of the air.
After the goods were thus despatched, it was
equally surprising to see how soon, and with what
[204]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
exactness, the merchants of Mexico to whom those
cargoes were separately consigned made the return,
and how it came all in silver or in gold, so that their
warehouses in a few months were piled up, even to
the ceiling, with chests of pieces of eight and with
bars of silver.
It is impossible to describe in the narrow compass
of this work with what exactness and order, and yet
with how little hurry, and not the least confusion,
everything was done, and how soon a weight of busi
ness of such importance and value was negotiated
and finished, the goods repacked, invoices made, and
everything despatched and gone; so that in about
five weeks all the goods they had received from
Europe by the galleons were disposed of and entered
in their journals to the proper account of their mer
chant to whom they were respectively consigned ;
from thence they had book-keepers who drew out
the invoices and wrote the letters, which the mer
chant himself only read over and signed, and then
other hands copied all again into other books.
I can give no estimate of the value of the several
consignments they received by that flota ; but I re
member that, when the galleons went back, they
shipped on board, at several times, one million three
hundred thousand pieces of eight in specie, besides a
hundred and eighty bales or bags of cochineal and
about three hundred bales of indigo ; but they were
[205]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
so modest that they said this was for themselves and
their friends. That is to say, the several merchants
of Mexico consigned large quantities of bullion to
them, to ship on board and consign according to
their order ; but then I know also that, for all that,
they were allowed commission, so that their gain was
very considerable even that way also.
I had been with them at La Vera Cruz, and came
back again before we came to an account for the
goods which I had brought on shore in the twenty-
one bales, which, by the account we brought them to
(leaving a piece of everything to be governed by our
last market), amounted to eight thousand five hun
dred and seventy pieces of eight, all which money
my friend for so I must now call him brought
me in specie, and caused his negroes to pile them up
in one corner of my apartment ; so that I was indeed
still very rich, all things considered.
There was a bale which I had caused to be packed
up on purpose in Virginia, and which indeed I had
written for from England, being chiefly of fine Eng
lish broadcloths, silk, silk druggets, and fine stuffs
of several kinds, with some very fine hollands, which
I set apart for presents, as I should find occasion ;
and as, whatever hurry I was in at carrying the
twenty-one bales of goods on shore, I did not forget
to let this bale be one of them, so, when we came to
a sale for the rest, I told them that this was a pack
[206]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
with clothes and necessaries for my own wearing and
use, and so desired it might not be opened with the
rest, which was accordingly observed, and that bale
or pack was brought into my apartment.
This bale was, in general, made up of several
smaller bales, which I had directed, so that I might
have room to make presents, equally sorted as the
circumstance might direct me. However, they were
all considerable, and I reckoned the whole bale cost
me near 200 sterling in England ; and though my
present circumstances required some limits to my
bounty in making presents, yet the obligation I was
under being so much the greater, especially to this
one friendly, generous Spaniard, I thought I could
not do better than, by opening two of the smaller
bales, join them together, and make my gift some
thing suitable to the benefactor, and to the respect
he had shown me. Accordingly, I took two bales,
and, laying the goods together, the contents were as
follows :
Two pieces of fine English broadcloth, the finest that
could be got in London, divided, as was that which I
gave to the governor at the Havannah, into fine crim
son in grain, fine light mixtures, and fine black.
Four pieces of fine holland, of 7s. to 8s. per ell in
London.
Twelve pieces of fine silk drugget and duroys, for
men's wear.
[207]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
Six pieces of broad silks, two damasks, two brocaded
silks, and two mantuas.
With a box of ribands and a box of lace ; the last cost
about 40 sterling in England.
This handsome parcel I laid open in my apart
ment, and brought him upstairs one morning, on
pretence to drink chocolate with me, which he or
dinarily did ; when, as we drank chocolate and was
merry, I said to him, though I had sold him almost
all my cargo and taken his money, yet the truth was,
that I ought not to have sold them to him, but to
have laid them all at his feet, for that it was to his
direction I owed the having anything saved at all.
He smiled, and, with a great deal of friendship in
his face, told me that not to have paid me for them
would have been to have plundered a shipwreck,
which had been worse than to have robbed an
hospital.
At last I told him I had two requests to make to
him, which must not be denied. I told him I had a
small present to make him, which I would give him
a reason why he should not refuse to accept ; and
the second request I would make after the first was
granted. He said he would have accepted my pres
ent from me if I had not been under a disaster, but
as it was it would be cruel and ungenerous. But 1
told him he was obliged to hear my reason for his
accepting it. Then I told him that this parcel was
[208]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
made up for him by name by my wife and I in
Virginia, and his name set on the marks of the bale,
and accordingly I showed him the marks, which was
indeed on one of the bales, but I had doubled it
now, as above, so that I told him these were his own
proper goods ; and, in short, I pressed him so to re
ceive them that he made a bow ; and I said no more,
but ordered my negro, that is to say, his negro
that waited on me, to carry them all, except the
two boxes, into his apartments, but would not let
him see the particulars till they were all carried
away.
After he was gone about a quarter of an hour, he
came in raving and almost swearing, and in a great
passion, but I could easily see he was exceedingly
pleased ; and told me, had he known the particulars,
he would never have suffered them to have gone as
he did, and at last used the very same compliment
that the governor at the Havannah used, viz., that
it was a present fit for a viceroy of Mexico rather
than for him.
When he had done, he then told me he remem
bered I had two requests to him, and that one was
not to be told till after the first was granted, and he
hoped now I had something to ask of him that was
equal to the obligation I laid upon him.
I told him I knew it was not the custom in Spain
for a stranger to make presents to the ladies, and
VOL. H. 14 [ 209 ]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
that I would not in the least doubt but that, what
ever the ladies of his family required as proper for
their use, he would appropriate to them as he thought
fit ; but that there were two little boxes in the par
cel which my wife with her own hand had directed
to the ladies; and I begged he would be pleased
with his own hand to give them in my wife's name,
as directed ; that I was only the messenger, but that
I could not be honest if I did not discharge myself
of the trust reposed in me.
These were the two boxes of ribands and lace,
which, knowing the nicety of the ladies in Spain, or
rather of the Spaniards about their women, I had
made my wife pack up, and directed with her own
hand, as I have said.
He smiled, and told me it was true the Spaniards
did not ordinarily admit so much freedom among the
women as other nations ; but he hoped, he said, I
would not think the Spaniards thought all their
women whores, or that all Spaniards were jealous of
their wives ; that, as to my present, since he had
agreed to accept of it, I should have the direction of
what part I pleased to his wife and daughters ; for
he had three daughters.
Here I strained courtesies again, and told him by
no means ; I would direct nothing of that kind. I
only begged that he would with his own hand pre
sent to his donna, or lady, the present designed her
[210]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
by my wife, and that he would present it in her
name, now living in Virginia. He was extremely
pleased with the nicety I used ; and I saw him pre
sent it to her accordingly, and could see, at the open
ing of it, that she was extremely pleased with the
present itself, as indeed might very well be, for in
that country it was worth a very considerable sum
of money.
Though I was used with an uncommon friendship
before, and nothing could well be desired more,
yet the grateful sense I showed of it in the mag
nificence of this present was not lost, and the whole
family appeared sensible of it ; so that I must allow
that presents, where they can be made in such a
manner, are not without their influence, where the
persons were not at all mercenary either before or
after.
I had here now a most happy and comfortable re
treat, though it was a kind of an exile. Here I en
joyed everything I could think of that was agreeable
and pleasant, except only a liberty of going home,
which, for that reason perhaps, was the only thing I
desired in the world ; for the grief of one absent
comfort is oftentimes capable of embittering all the
other enjoyments in the world.
Here I enjoyed the moments which I had never
before known how to employ I mean that here I
learned to look back upon a long ill-spent life,
[211]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
blessed with infinite advantage, which I had no heart
given me till now to make use of, and here I found
just reflections were the utmost felicity of human
life.
Here I wrote these memoirs, having to add to
the pleasure of looking back with due reflections
the benefit of a violent fit of the gout, which,
as it is allowed by most people, clears the head,
restores the memory, and qualifies us to make the
most, and just, and useful remarks upon our own
actions.
Perhaps when I wrote these things down I did not
foresee that the writings of our own stories would
be so much the fashion in England, or so agreeable
to others to read, as I find custom and the humour
of the times has caused it to be. If any one that
reads my story pleases to make the same just reflec
tions which I acknowledge I ought to have made, he
will reap the benefit of my misfortunes perhaps more
than I have done myself. T is evident by the long
series of changes and turns which have appeared in
the narrow compass of one private, mean person's
life, that the history of men's lives may be many
ways made useful and instructing to those who read
them, if moral and religious improvement and re
flections are made by those that write them.
There remains many things in the course of this
unhappy life of mine, though I have left so little a
[212]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
part of it to speak of, that is worth giving a large
and distinct account of, and which gives room for
just reflections of a kind which I have not made yet.
Particularly, I think it just to add how, in collecting
the various changes and turns in my affairs, I saw
clearer than ever I had done before how an invincible
overruling Power, a hand influenced from above,
governs all our actions of every kind, limits all our
designs, and orders the events of everything relating
to us.
And from this observation it necessarily occurred
to me how just it was that we should pay the homage
of all events to Him ; that as He guided, and had
even made the chain of cause and consequences, which
nature in general strictly obeyed, so to Him should
be given the honour of all events, the consequences
of those causes, as the first Mover and Maker of all
things.
I, who had hitherto lived, as might be truly said,
without God in the world, began now to see farther
into all those things than I had ever yet been capable
of before, and this brought me at last to look with
shame and blushes upon such a course of wickedness
as I had gone through in the world. I had been
bred, indeed, to nothing of either religious or moral
knowledge. What I gained of either was, first, by
the little time of civil life which I lived in Scotland,
where my abhorrence of the wickedness of my captain
[213]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
and comrade, and some sober, religious company I
fell into, first gave me some knowledge of good and
evil, and showed me the beauty of a sober, religious
life, though, with my leaving that country, it soon
left me too ; or, secondly, the modest hints and just
reflections of my steward, whom I called my tutor,
who was a man of sincere religion, good principles,
and a real, true penitent for his past miscarriages.
Oh ! had I with him sincerely repented of what
was past, I had not for twenty-four years together
lived a life of levity and profligate wickedness
after it.
But here I had, as I said, leisure to reflect and to
repent, to call to mind things past, and, with a just
detestation, learn, as Job says, to abhor myself in
dust and ashes.
It is with this temper that I have written my
story. I would have all that design to read it pre
pare to do so with the temper of penitents, and re
member with how much advantage they may make
their penitent reflections at home, under the merciful
dispositions of Providence, in peace, plenty, and
ease, rather than abroad, under the discipline of a
transported criminal, as my wife and my tutor, or
under the miseries and distresses of a shipwrecked
wanderer, as my skipper or captain of the sloop,
who, as I hear, died a very great penitent, labouring
in the deserts and mountains to find his way home
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
to Virginia, by the way of Carolina, whither the rest
of the crew reached after infinite dangers and hard
ships; or in exile, however favourably circumstanced,
as mine, in absence from my family, and for some
time in no probable view of ever seeing them any
more.
Such, I say, may repent with advantage; but
how few are they that seriously look in till their
way is hedged up and they have no other way to
look!
Here, I say, I had leisure to repent. How far it
pleases God to give the grace of repentance where
He gives the opportunity of it is not for me to say
of myself. It is sufficient that I recommend it to
all that read this story, that, when they find their
lives come up in any degree to any similitude of
cases, they will inquire by me, and ask themselves,
Is not this the time to repent ? Perhaps the answer
may touch them.
I have only to add to what was then written, that
my kind friends the Spaniards, finding no other
method presented for conveying me to my home
that is to say, to Virginia got a license for me to
come in the next galleons, as a Spanish merchant,
to Cadiz, where I arrived safe with all my treasure ;
for he suffered me to be at no expenses in his house ;
and from Cadiz I soon got my passage on board an
English merchantship for London, from whence I
[215]
THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUE
sent an account of my adventures to my wife, and
where, in about five months more, she came over to
me, leaving with full satisfaction the management
of all our affairs in Virginia in the same faithful
hands as before.
END OF THE LIFE OF COLONEL JACQUB
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
AN EXPLANATORY PREFACE
IT is not that I see any reason to alter my
opinion in anything I have written which
occasions this epistle, but I find it necessary,
for the satisfaction of some persons of honour
as well as wit, to pass a short explication upon it,
and tell the world what I mean, or rather what I do
not mean, in some things wherein I find I am liable
to be misunderstood.
I confess myself something surprised to hear that
I am taxed with bewraying my own nest and abus
ing our nation by discovering the meanness of our
original, in order to make the English contemptible
abroad and at home ; in which I think they are mis
taken. For why should not our neighbours be as
good as we to derive from ? And I must add that,
had we been an unmixed nation, I am of opinion
it had been to our disadvantage. For, to go no
further, we have three nations about us as clear from
mixtures of blood as any in the world, and I know
not which of them I could wish ourselves to be like
I mean the Scots, the Welsh, and Irish ; and if I
were to write a reverse to the satire, I would ex-
[219]
AN EXPLANATORY PREFACE
amine all the nations of Europe, and prove that
those nations which are most mixed are the best,
and have least of barbarism and brutality among
them ; and abundance of reasons might be given for
it, too long to bring into a preface.
But I give this hint to' let the world know that I
am far from thinking it is a satire upon the English
nation to tell them they are derived from all the
nations under heaven that is, from several nations.
Nor is it meant to undervalue the original of the
English, for we see no reason to like them the worse,
being the relics of Nomans, Danes, Saxons, and
Normans, than we should have done if they had
remained Britons ; that is, than if they had been
all Welshmen.
But the intent of the satire is pointed at the
vanity of those who talk of their antiquity and value
themselves upon their pedigree, their ancient fami
lies, and being true-born ; whereas it is impossible
we should be true-born, and if we could, should have
lost by the bargain.
Those sort of people who call themselves true-
born and tell long stories of their families, and, like
a nobleman of Venice, think a foreigner ought not
to walk on the same side of the street with them,
are owned to be meant in this satire. What they
would infer from their own original I know not, nor
is it easy to make out whether they are the better
[220]
AN EXPLANATORY PREFACE
or the worse for their ancestors. Our English nation
may value themselves for their wit, wealth, and
courage, and I believe few will dispute it with them ;
but for long originals and ancient true-born families
of English, I would advise them to waive the dis
course. A true Englishman is one that deserves a
character, and I have nowhere lessened him that I
know of ; but as for a true-born Englishman, I con
fess I do not understand him.
From hence I only infer that an Englishman, of
all men, ought not to despise foreigners as such, and
I think the inference is just, since what they are
to-day we were yesterday, and to-morrow they will
be like us. If foreigners misbehave in their several
stations and employments, I have nothing to do
with that ; the laws are open to punish them equally
with natives, and let them have no favour.
But when I see the town full of lampoons and
invectives against Dutchmen only because they are
foreigners, and the King reproached and insulted
by insolent pedants and ballad-making poets for
employing foreigners, and for being a foreigner him
self, I confess myself moved by it to remind our
nation of their own original, thereby to let them see
what a banter is put upon ourselves in it, since,
speaking of Englishmen ab origine, we are really
foreigners ourselves.
I could go on to prove it is also impolitic in us to
[221 ]
AN EXPLANATORY PREFACE
discourage foreigners, since it is easy to make it
appear that the multitudes of foreign nations who
have taken sanctuary here have been the greatest
additions to the wealth and strength of the nation,
the great essential whereof is the number of its in
habitants. Nor would this nation have ever arrived
to the degree of wealth and glory it now boasts of if
the addition of foreign nations, both as to manu
factures and arms, had not been helpful to it. This
is so plain that he who is ignorant of it is too dull
to be talked with.
The satire, therefore, I must allow to be just till
I am otherwise convinced, because nothing can be
more ridiculous than to hear our people boast of
that antiquity which, if it had been true, would
have left us in so much worse a condition than we
are in now ; whereas we ought rather to boast
among our neighbours that we are a part of them
selves, or the same original as they, but bettered by
our climate, and, like our language and manufact
ures, derived from them and improved by us to a
perfection greater than they can pretend to.
This we might have valued ourselves upon without
vanity ; but to disown our descent from them, talk
ing big of our ancient families and long originals,
and stand at a distance from foreigners, like the
enthusiast in religion, with a " Stand off; I am more
holy than thou ! " this is a thing so ridiculous in
[ 222 ]
AN EXPLANATORY PREFACE
a nation, derived from foreigners as we are, that I
could not but attack them as I have done.
And whereas I am threatened to be called to a
public account for this freedom, and the publisher
of this has been new-papered in gaol already for it,
though I see nothing in it for which the Govern
ment can be displeased, yet if at the same time those
people who, with an unlimited arrogance in print,
every day affront the King, prescribe the Parliament,
and lampoon the Government may be either pun
ished or restrained, I am content to stand and fall
with the public justice of my native country which
I am not sensible I have anywhere injured.
Nor would I be misunderstood concerning the
clergy, with whom, if I have taken any license more
than becomes a satire, I question not but those
gentlemen, who are men of letters, are also men of
so much candour as to allow me a loose at the
crimes of the guilty without thinking the whole
profession lashed, who are innocent. I profess to
have very mean thoughts of those gentlemen who
have deserted their own principles, and exposed even
their morals as well as loyalty, but not at all to
think it affects any but such as are concerned in the
fact.
Nor would I be misrepresented as to the ingrati
tude of the English to the King and his friends, as
if I meant the English as a nation are so. The con-
[223]
AN EXPLANATORY PREFACE
trary is so apparent, that I would hope it should
not be suggested of me ; and, therefore, when I have
brought in Britannia speaking of the King, I sup
pose her to be the representative or mouth of the
nation as a body. But if I say we are full of such
who daily affront the King and abuse his friends,
who print scurrilous pamphlets, virulent lampoons,
and reproachful public banter against both the
King's person and Government, I say nothing but
what is too true. And that the satire is directed
at such I freely own, and cannot say but I should
think it very hard to be censured for this satire
while such remain unquestioned and tacitly ap
proved. That I can mean none but such is plain
from these few lines :
" Ye Heavens, regard ! Almighty Jove, look down,
And view thy injured monarch on the throne.
On their ungrateful heads due vengeance take
Who sought his aid and then his part forsake."
If I have fallen upon our vices, I hope none but
the vicious will be angry. As for writing for in
terest, I disown it. I have neither place, nor pen
sion, nor prospect ; nor seek none, nor will have
none. If matter of fact justifies the truth of the
crimes, the satire is just. As to the poetic liberties,
I hope the crime is pardonable. I am content to
be stoned provided none will attack me but the
innocent.
[224]
AN EXPLANATORY PREFACE
If my countrymen would take the hint and
better-natured from my ill-natured poem, as some
call it, I would say this of it, that though it is far
from the best satire that ever was written, it would
do the most good that ever satire did.
And yet I am ready to ask pardon of some gentle -
men too, who, though they are Englishmen, have
good-nature enough to see themselves reproved, and
can bear it. Those are gentlemen in a true sense
that can bear to be told of their faux pas and not
abuse the reprover. To such I must say this is no
satire ; they are exceptions to the general rule ; and
I value my performance from their generous appro
bation more than I can from any opinion I have of
its worth.
The hasty errors of my verse I made my excuse
for before ; and since the time I have been upon it
has been but little, and my leisure less, I have all
along strove rather to make the thoughts explicit
than the poem correct. However, I have mended
some faults in this edition, and the rest must be
placed to my account.
As to answers, banters, true English Billingsgate,
I expect them till nobody will buy, and then the
shop will be shut. Had I wrote it for the gain of
the press, I should have been concerned at its being
printed again and again by pirates, as they call
them, and paragraph-men ; but would they but do
VOL. H. 15 [ 225 1
AN EXPLANATORY PREFACE
it justice and print it true according to the copy,
they are welcome to sell it for a penny if they
please.
The pence indeed is the end of their works. I
will engage, if nobody will buy, nobody will write.
Arid not a patriot-poet of them all now will, in
defence of his native country which I have abused,
they say print an answer to it, and give it about
for God's sake.
[226]
THE PREFACE
I
end of satire is reformation ; and the
author, though he doubts the work of
conversion is at a general stop, has put
his hand to the plough.
I expect a storm of ill language from the fury of
the town, and especially from those whose English
talent it is to rail. And without being taken for a
conjuror, I may venture to foretell that I shall be
cavilled at about my mean style, rough verse, and
incorrect language ; things I might indeed have
taken more care in, but the book is printed ; and
though I see some faults, it is too late to mend
them. And this is all I think needful to say to
them.
Possibly somebody may take me for a Dutchman,
in which they are mistaken. But I am one that
would be glad to see Englishmen behave themselves
better to strangers and to governors also, that one
might not be reproached in foreign countries for
belonging to a nation that wants manners.
I assure you, gentlemen, strangers use us better
abroad ; and we can give no reason but our ill-nature
for the contrary here.
[227]
THE PREFACE
Methinks an Englishman, who is so proud of
being called a good fellow, should be civil ; and it
cannot be denied but we are in many cases, and par
ticularly to strangers, the churlishest people alive.
As to vices, who can dispute our intemperance,
while an honest drunken fellow is a character in a
man's praise ? All our reformations are banters,
and will be so till our magistrates and gentry reform
themselves by way of example. Then, and not till
then, they may be expected to punish others without
blushing.
As to our ingratitude, I desire to be understood
of that particular people who, pretending to be
Protestants, have all along endeavoured to reduce
the liberties and religion of this nation into the
hands of King James and his Popish Powers ;
together with such who enjoy the peace and pro
tection of the present Government, and yet abuse
and affront the King, who procured it, and openly
profess their uneasiness under him. These, by what
soever names or titles they are dignified or distin
guished, are the people aimed at ; nor do I disown
but that it is so much the temper of an Englishman
to abuse his benefactor that I could be glad to see
it rectified.
Those who think I have been guilty of any error
in exposing the crimes of my own countrymen to
themselves may, among many honest instances of
[ 228 ]
THE PREFACE
the like nature, find the same thing in Mr. Cowley,
in his imitation of the second Olympic ode of
Pindar. His words are these
" But in this thankless world the givers
Are envied even by the receivers :
T is now the cheap and frugal fashion
Rather to hide than pay an obligation.
Nay, 't is much worse than so ;
It now an artifice doth grow
Wrongs and outrages to do,
Lest men should think we owe."
[229]
THE INTRODUCTION
SPEAK, Satire ; for there 's none can tell like
thee
Whether 't is folly, pride, or knavery
That makes this discontented land appear
Less happy now in times of peace than war ?
Why civil feuds disturb the nation more
Than all our bloody wars have done before ?
Fools out of favour grudge at knaves in place,
And men are always honest in disgrace :
The Court preferments make men knaves in course ;
But they which would be in them would be worse.
T is not at foreigners .that we repine,
Would foreigners their perquisites resign :
The grand contention 's plainly to be seen,
To get some men put out, and some put in.
For this our Senators make long harangues,
And florid Members whet their polished tongues.
Statesmen are always sick of one disease,
And a good pension gives them present ease :
That 's the specific makes them all content
With any King and any Government.
[231 ]
THE INTRODUCTION
Good patriots at Court abuses rail,
And all the nation's grievances bewail ;
But when the sovereign balsam 's once applied,
The zealot never fails to change his side ;
And when he must the golden key resign,
The railing spirit comes about again.
Who shall this bubbled nation disabuse,
While they their own felicities refuse,
Who at the wars have made such mighty pother,
And now are falling out with one another :
With needless fears the jealous nation fill,
And always have been saved against their will :
Who fifty millions sterling have disbursed,
To be with peace and too much plenty cursed :
Who their old monarch eagerly undo,
And yet uneasily obey the new ?
Search, Satire, search : a deep incision make ;
The poison 's strong, the antidote 's too weak.
'Tis pointed Truth must manage this dispute,
And downright English, Englishmen confute.
Whet thy just anger at the nation's pride,
And with keen phrase repel the vicious tide ;
To Englishmen their own beginnings show,
And ask them why they slight their neighbours so.
Go back to elder times and ages past,
And nations into long oblivion cast ;
To old Britannia's youthful days retire,
And there for true-born Englishmen inquire.
THE INTRODUCTION
Britannia freely will disown the name,
And hardly knows herself from whence they came
Wonders that they of all men should pretend
To birth and blood, and for a name contend.
Go back to causes where our follies dwell,
And fetch the dark original from hell :
Speak, Satire, for there 's none like thee can tell.
[233]
THE
TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
PART I
WHEREVER God erects a house of
prayer,
The Devil always builds a chapel
there: 1
And 't will be found upon examination,
The latter has the largest congregation :
For ever since he first debauched the mind,
He made a perfect conquest of mankind.
With uniformity of service, he
Reigns with a general aristocracy.
No non-conforming sects disturb his reign,
For of his yoke there 's very few complain.
He knows the genius and the inclination,
And matches proper sins for every nation,
He needs no standing-army government ;
1 This old proverb was quoted by Robert Burton in his
" Anatomy of Melancholy " (1621), " Where God hath a temple
the Devil hath a chapel " (Part III. sc. iv. subs. 1). It was also
No. 670 in George Herbert's " Jacula Prudentium," first pub
lished in 1640, where it ran, " No sooner is a temple built to
God but the Devil builds a chapel hard by." Defoe was the
first rhymer of the proverb, and the rider to it is his own.
[235]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
He always rules us by our own consent :
His laws are easy, and his gentle sway
Makes it exceeding pleasant to obey :
The list of his vicegerents and commanders,
Outdoes your Caesars or your Alexanders.
They never fail of his infernal aid,
And he 's as certain ne'er to be betrayed.
Through all the world they spread his vast command,
And Death's eternal empire is maintained.
They rule so politicly and so well,
As if they were Lords Justices of Hell,
Duly divided to debauch mankind,
And plant infernal dictates in his mind.
Pride, the first peer, and president of Hell,
To his share Spain, the largest province, fell.
The subtile Prince thought fittest to bestow
On these the golden mines of Mexico,
With all the silver mountains of Peru,
Wealth which would in wise hands the world undo :
Because he knew their genius was such,
Too lazy and too haughty to be rich.
So proud a people, so above their fate,
That if reduced to beg, they '11 beg in state ;
Lavish of money to be counted brave,
And proudly starve because they scorn to save.
Never was nation in the world before
So very rich and yet so very poor.
Lust chose the torrid zone of Italy,
[236]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
Where blood ferments in rapes and sodomy :
Where swelling veins overflow with liquid streams,
With heat impregnate from Vesuvian flames :
Whose flowing sulphur forms infernal lakes,
And human body of the soil partakes.
Their nature ever burns with hot desires,
Fanned with luxuriant air from subterranean fires ;
Here, undisturbed in floods of scalding lust,
The Infernal King reigns with infernal gust.
Drunkenness, the darling favourite of Hell,
Chose Germany to rule ; and rules so well,
No subjects more obsequiously obey,
None please so well or are so pleased as they.
The cunning artist manages so well,
He lets them bow to Heaven and drink to Hell.
If but to wine and him they homage pay,
He cares not to what deity they pray,
What God they worship most, or in what way.
Whether by Luther, Calvin, or by Rome
They sail for Heaven, by Wine he steers them home.
Ungoverned Passion settled first in France,
Where mankind lives in haste and thrives by chance ;
A dancing nation, fickle and untrue,
Have oft undone themselves and others too ;
Prompt the infernal dictates to obey,
And in HelPs favour none more great than they.
The Pagan world he blindly leads away,
And personally rules with arbitrary sway ;
[237]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
The mask thrown off, plain Devil his title stands,
And what elsewhere he tempts he there commands.
There with full gust the ambition of his mind
Governs, as he of old in Heaven designed.
Worshipped as God, his Paynim altars smoke,
Embrued with blood of those that him invoke.
The rest by Deputies he rules as well,
And plants the distant colonies of Hell.
By them his secret power he maintains,
And binds the world in his infernal chains.
By Zeal the Irish, and the Russ by Folly
Fury the Dane, the Swede by Melancholy ;
By stupid Ignorance the Muscovite ;
The Chinese by a child of Hell called Wit
Wealth makes the Persian too effeminate,
And Poverty the Tartars desperate ;
The Turks and Moors by Mah'met he subdues,
And God has given him leave to rule the Jews.
Rage rules the Portuguese and Fraud the Scotch,
Revenge the Pole and Avarice the Dutch.
Satire, be kind, and draw a silent veil
Thy native England's vices to conceal ;
Or, if that task 's impossible to do,
At least be just and show her virtues too
Too great the first ; alas, the last too few !
England, unknown as yet, unpeopled lay ;
Happy had she remained so to this day,
And not to every nation been a prey.
[238]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
Her open harbours and her fertile plains
(The merchant's glory those, and these the swain's)
To every barbarous nation have betrayed her,
Who conquer her as oft as they invade her ;
So beauty 's guarded but by innocence,
That ruins her, which should be her defence.
Ingratitude, a devil of black renown,
Possessed her very early for his own.
An ugly, surly, sullen, selfish spirit,
Who Satan's worst perfections does inherit ;
Second to him in malice and in force,
All devil without, and all within him worse.
He made her first-born race to be so rude,
And suffered her so oft to be subdued ;
By several crowds of wandering thieves o'errun,
Often unpeopled, and as oft undone ;
While every nation that her powers reduced
Their languages and manners introduced.
From whose mixed relics our compounded breed
By spurious generation does succeed,
Making a race uncertain and uneven,
Derived from all the nations under Heaven.
The Romans first with Julius Caesar came,
Including all the nations of that name,
Gauls, Greeks, and Lombards, and, by computation
Auxiliaries or slaves of every nation.
With Hengist, Saxons ; Danes with Sueno came,
In search of plunder, not in search of fame.
[239]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
Scots, Picts, and Irish from the Hibernian shore,
And conquering William brought the Normans o'er.
All these their barbarous offspring left behind,
The dregs of armies, they of all mankind ;
Blended with Britons, who before were here,
Of whom the Welsh ha' blessed the character.
From this amphibious ill-born mob began
That vain, ill-natured thing, an Englishman.
The customs, surnames, languages, and manners
Of all these nations are their own explainers :
Whose relics are so lasting and so strong,
They ha 1 left a shibboleth upon our tongue,
By which with easy search you may distinguish
Your Roman-Saxon-Danish Norman English.
The great invading Norman 1 let us know
What conquerors in after times might do.
To every musketeer 2 he brought to town,
He gave the lands which never were his own.
When first the English crown he did obtain,
He did not send his Dutchmen back again.
No reassumptions in his reign were known,
D'Avenant might there ha 1 let his book alone.
No Parliament his army could disband ;
He raised no money, for he paid in land.
He gave his legions their eternal station,
And made them all freeholders of the nation.
He cantoned out the country to his men,
1 William the Conqueror. [D.F.] a Or archer. [D.F.]
[240]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
And every soldier was a denizen.
The rascals thus .enriched, he called them lords,
To please their upstart pride with new-made words,
And Doomsday Book his tyranny records.
And here begins our ancient pedigree,
That so exalts our poor nobility :
T is that from some French trooper they derive,
Who with the Norman bastard did arrive ;
The trophies of the families appear,
Some show the sword, the bow, and some the spear,
Which their great ancestor, forsooth, did wear.
These in the herald's register remain,
Their noble mean extraction to explain,
Yet who the hero was, no man can tell,
Whether a drummer or a colonel :
The silent record blushes to reveal
Their undescended dark original.
But grant the best, how came the change to pass,
A true-born Englishman of Norman race ?
A Turkish horse can show more history
To prove his well-descended family.
Conquest, as by the moderns l ""t is expressed,
May give a title to the lands possessed :
But that the longest sword should be so civil
To make a Frenchman English, that 's the deviL
These are the heroes that despise the Dutch,
And rail at new-come foreigners so much,
1 Dr. Sherlock, de facto. [D.F.J
VOL. n. 16 [ 241 ]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
Forgetting that themselves are all derived
From the most scoundrel race that ever lived ;
A horrid crowd of rambling thieves and drones,
Who ransacked kingdoms and dispeopled towns,
The Pict and painted Briton, treacherous Scot,
By hunger, theft, and rapine hither brought ;
Norwegian pirates, buccaneering Danes,
Whose red-haired offspring everywhere remains,
Who, joined with Norman-French, compound the
breed
From whence your true-born Englishmen proceed.
And lest by length of time it be pretended
The climate may this modern breed ha 1 mended,
Wise Providence, to keep us where we are,
Mixes us daily with exceeding care.
We have been Europe's sink, the jakes where she
Voids all her offal outcast progeny.
From the eighth Henry's time, the strolling bands
Of banished fugitives from neighbouring lands
Have here a certain sanctuary found :
The eternal refuge of the vagabond,
Where, in but half a common age of time,
Borrowing new blood and manners from the clime,
Proudly they learn all mankind to contemn,
And all their race are true-born Englishmen.
Dutch, Walloons, Flemings, Irishmen, and Scots,
Vaudois and Valtelins, and Hugonots,
In good Queen Bess's charitable reign,
[242]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
Supplied us with three hundred thousand men.
Religion God, we thank Thee ! sent them hither
Priests, Protestants, the Devil and all together :
Of all professions and of every trade,
All that were persecuted or afraid ;
Whether for debt or other crimes they fled,
David at Hachilah was still their head.
The offspring of this miscellaneous crowd
Had not their new plantations long enjoyed,
But they grew Englishmen, and raised their votes
At foreign shoals for interloping Scots.
The royal branch l from Pictland did succeed,
With troops of Scots and Scabs from North-by-
Tweed.
The seven first years of his pacific reign
Made him and half his nation Englishmen.
Scots from the northern frozen banks of Tay,
With packs and plods came whigging all away :
Thick as the locusts which in Egypt swarmed,
With pride and hungry hopes completely armed ;
With native truth, diseases, and no money,
Plundered our Canaan of the milk and honey.
Here they grew quickly lords and gentlemen,
And all their race are true-born Englishmen.
The civil wars, the common purgative,
Which always use to make the nation thrive,
Made way for all that strolling congregation
i K. J. I. [D.F.]
[243]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
Which thronged in Pious Charles's restoration. 1
The royal refugee our breed restores,
With foreign courtiers and with foreign whores,
And carefully repeopled us again,
Throughout his lazy, long, lascivious reign,
With such a blest and true-born English fry,
As much illustrates our nobility.
A gratitude which will so black appear,
As future ages must abhor to hear,
When they look back on all that crimson flood,
Which streamed in Lindsay's and Carnarvon's blood,
Bold Strafford, Cambridge, Capel, Lucas, Lisle,
Who crowned in death his father's funeral pile.
The loss of whom, in order to supply,
With true-born English nationality,
Six bastard Dukes survive his luscious reign,
The labours of Italian Castlemaine, 2
i K. C. II. [D.F.I
9 Lady Castlemaine, of the Italian-French family of Villars,
was first known to Charles II. as Mrs. Palmer. Afterwards her
husband was made Earl of Castlemaine, and in 1668 she was
made Duchess of Cleveland. Of the cost of this woman Andrew
Marvell wrote : " They have signed and sealed ten thousand
pounds a year more to the Duchess of Cleveland ; who has
likewise near ten thousand pounds a year out of the new farm
of the country excise of beer and ale ; five thousand pounds a
year out of the Post Office ; and, they say, the reversion of all
the King's leases, the reversion of all places in the Custom
House, the green-wax, and, indeed, what not? All promo
tions, spiritual and temporal, pass under her cognisance," &c.
Charles II. had by her five children.
[244]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
French Portsmouth, 1 Tabby Scot, and Cambrian.
Besides the numerous bright and virgin throng,
Whose female glories shade them from my song.
This offspring, if one age they multiply,
May half the house with English peers supply ;
There with true English pride they may contemn
Schomberg and Portland, 2 new made noblemen.
French cooks, Scotch pedlars, and Italian whores,
Were all made lords or lords' progenitors.
Beggars and bastards by his new creation
Much multiplied the peerage of the nation ;
Who will be all, ere one short age runs o'er.
As true-born lords as those we had before.
Then to recruit the Commons he prepares
And heal the latent breaches of the wars ;
The pious purpose better to advance,
He invites the banished Protestants of France :
Hither for God's sake and their own they fled,
Some for religion came, and some for bread ;
Two hundred thousand pairs of wooden shoes,
1 Louise Rene"e de Puencovet de Queroualle came over to
Dover as a maid of honour, and was created Duchess of Ports
mouth in August 1673. She cost as much as Lady Castlemaine.
Her son, Charles Lennox, was made Duke of Richmond. The
Duchess of Portsmouth was living when this satire appeared.
She died in 1734.
2 Frederick de Schomberg, an old favourite of King Wil
liam's, was made Duke of Schomberg on the 10th of April 1689.
Another friend of the King's, William Bentinck, was created
Earl of Portland on the 9th of April 1689. His son and heir
-was raised to a dukedom in 1716.
[245]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
Who, God be thanked, had nothing left to lose,
To Heaven's great praise did for religion fly,
To make us starve our poor in charity.
In every port they plant their fruitful train,
To get a race of true-bom Englishmen ;
Whose children will, when riper years they see,
Be as ill-natured and as proud as we ;
Call themselves English, foreigners despise,
Be surly like us all, and just as wise.
Thus from a mixture of all kinds began
That heterogeneous thing an Englishman ;
In eager rapes and furious lust begot,
Betwixt a painted Briton and a Scot ;
Whose gendering offspring quickly learned to bow,
And yoke their heifers to the Roman plough ;
From whence a mongrel half-bred race there came,
With neither name nor nation, speech nor fame ;
In whose hot veins new mixtures quickly ran,
Infused betwixt a Saxon and a Dane ;
While their rank daughters, to their parents just,
Received all nations with promiscuous lust.
This nauseous brood directly did contain
The well-extracted brood of Englishmen.
Which medley cantoned in a Heptarchy,
A rhapsody of nations to supply,
Among themselves maintained eternal wars,
And still the ladies loved the conquerors.
The Western Angles all the rest subdued,
[246]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
A bloody nation, barbarous and rude,
Who by the tenure of the sword possessed
One part of Britain, and subdued the rest.
And as great things denominate the small,
The conquering part gave title to the whole ;
The Scot, Pict, Briton, Roman, Dane, submit,
And with the English-Saxon all unite ;
And these the mixtures have so close pursued,
The very name and memory 's subdued.
No Roman now, no Briton does remain ;
Wales strove to separate, but strove in vain ;
The silent nations undistinguished fall,
And Englishman 's the common name of all.
Fate jumbled them together, God knows how ;
What e'er they were, they Ve true-born English now.
The wonder which remains is at our pride,
To value that which all men else deride.
For Englishmen to boast of generation
Cancels their knowledge and lampoons the nation.
A true-born Englishman ""s a contradiction,
In speech an irony, in fact a fiction ;
A banter made to be a test to fools,
Which those that use it justly ridicules ;
A metaphor invented to express
A man akin to all the universe.
For, as the Scots, as learned men have said,
Throughout the world their wandering seed have
spread ;
[247]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
So open-handed England, 't is believed,
Has all the gleanings of the world received.
Some think of England ""t was our Saviour meant,
The Gospel should to all the world be sent,
Since, when the blessed sound did hither reach,
They to all nations might be said to preach.
T is well that virtue gives nobility,
How shall we else the want of birth and blood
supply ?
Since scarce one family is left alive
Which does not from some foreigner derive.
Of sixty thousand English gentlemen,
Whose name and arms in registers remain,
We challenge all our heralds to declare
Ten families which English-Saxons are.
France justly owns the ancient noble line
Of Bourbon, Montmorency, and Lorraine,
The Germans too their House of Austria show
And Holland their invincible Nassau,
Lines which in heraldry were ancient grown
Before the name of Englishman was kn own.
Even Scotland, too, her elder glory shows,
Her Gordons, Hamiltons, and her Monros,
Douglas, Mackays, and Grahams, names well known
Long before ancient England knew her own.
But England, modern to the last degree
Borrows or makes her own nobility,
And yet she boldly boasts of pedigree ;
[248]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
Repines that foreigners are put upon her,
And talks of her antiquity and honour ;
Her Sackvilles, Saviles, Capels, De la Meres,
Mohuns, and Montagues, Darcys, and Veres,
Not one have English names, yet all are English
peers.
Your Hermans, Papillons, and Lavalliers
Pass now for true-born English knights and squires,
And make good senate members or Lord Mayors.
Wealth, howsoever got, in Ehgland makes
Lords of mechanics, gentlemen of rakes :
Antiquity and birth are needless here ;
Tis impudence and money makes a peer.
Innumerable City knights, we know,
From Bluecoat Hospital and Bridewell flow ;
Draymen and porters fill the city Chair
And footboys magisterial purple wear.
Fate has but very small distinction set
Betwixt the counter and the coronet.
Tarpaulin lords, pages of high renown,
Rise up by poor men's valour, not their own.
Great families of yesterday we show,
And lords whose parents were the Lord knows who.
[249]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
PART II
THE breed 's described : Now, Satire, if you can,
Their temper show, for manners make the man.
Fierce, as the Briton ; as the Roman, brave ;
And less inclined to conquer than to save ;
Eager to fight, and lavish of their blood,
And equally of fear and forecast void.
The Pict has made 'em sour, the Dane morose ;
False from the Scot, and from the Norman worse.
What honesty they have, the Saxons gave them,
And that, now they grow old, begins to leave them.
The climate makes them terrible and bold,
And English beef their courage does uphold ;
No danger can their daring spirit pall,
Always provided that their belly 's full.
In close intrigues their faculty 's but weak,
For generally what e'er they know they speak,
And often their own counsels undermine
By their infirmity, and not design ;
From whence the learned say it does proceed,
That English treasons never can succeed ;
For they Ye so open-hearted, you may know
Their own most secret thoughts, and others too.
The laboring poor, in spite of double pay,
Are saucy, mutinous, and beggarly,
[250]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
So lavish of their money and their time,
That want of forecast is the nation's crime.
Good drunken company is their delight,
And what they get by day they spend by night.
Dull thinking seldom does their heads engage,
But drink their youth away, and hurry on old age.
Empty of all good husbandry and sense,
And void of manners most when void of pence,
Their strong aversion to behaviour 's such,
They always talk too little or too much ;
So dull, they never take the pains to think,
And seldom are good-natured, but in drink.
In English ale their dear enjoyment lies,
For which they '11 starve themselves and families.
An Englishman will fairly drink as much
As will maintain two families of Dutch :
Subjecting all their labour to their pots ;
The greatest artists are the greatest sots.
The country poor do by example live ;
The gentry lead them, and the clergy drive :
What may we not from such examples hope ?
The landlord is their god, the priest their pope.
A drunken clergy and a swearing bench
Has given the Reformation such a drench,
As wise men think there is some cause to doubt
Will purge good manners and religion out.
Nor do the poor alone their liquor prize;
The sages join in this great sacrifice ;
. [251]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
The learned men who study Aristotle,
Correct him with an explanation bottle ;
Praise Epicurus rather than Lysander,
And Aristippus l more than Alexander.
The doctors, too, their Galen here resign,
And generally prescribe specific wine ;
The graduate's study 's grown an easier task,
While for the urinal they toss the flask ;
The surgeon's art grows plainer every hour,
And wine 's the balm which into wounds they pour.
Poets long since Parnassus have forsaken,
And say the ancient bards were all mistaken.
Apollo 's lately abdicate and fled,
And good King Bacchus governs in his stead ;
He does the chaos of the head refine,
And atom-thoughts jump into words by wine :
The inspirations of a finer nature,
As wine must needs excel Parnassus' water.
Statesmen their weighty politics refine,
And soldiers raise their courages by wine ;
Cecilia gives her choristers their choice,
And lets them all drink wine to clear their voice.
Some think the clergy first found out the way,
And wine 's the only spirit by which they pray ;
But others, less profane than so, agree
It clears the lungs and helps the memory ;
1 The drunkard's name for Canary. [D.F.]
[252]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
And therefore all of them divinely think,
Instead of study, 't is as well to drink.
And here I would be very glad to know
Whether our Asgilites may drink or no ;
Th 1 enlightening fumes of wine would certainly
Assist them much when they begin to fly ;
Or if a fiery chariot should appear,
Inflamed by wine, they 'd have the less to fear.
Even the gods themselves, as mortals say,
Were they on earth, would be as drunk as they ;
Nectar would be no more celestial drink,
They 'd all take wine, to teach them how to think.
But English drunkards gods and men outdo,
Drink their estates away, and money too.
Colon 's in debt, and if his friends should fail
To help him out, must die at at last in gaol ;
His wealthy uncle sent a hundred nobles
To pay his trifles off, and rid him of his troubles ;
But Colon, like a true-born Englishman,
Drank all the money out in bright champagne,
And Colon does in custody remain.
Drunk'ness has been the darling of this realm
E'er since a drunken pilot had the helm.
In their religion they are so uneven,
That each man goes his own by-way to Heaven,
Tenacious of mistakes to that degree
That ev'ry man pursues it separately,
And fancies none can find the way but he :
[ 253 J
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
So shy of one another they are grown,
As if they strove to get to Heaven alone.
Rigid and zealous, positive and grave,
And ev'ry grace but Charity they have.
This makes them so ill-natured and uncivil,
That all men think an Englishman the devil.
Surly to strangers, froward to their friend ;
Submit to love with a reluctant mind.
Resolved to be ungrateful and unkind,
If by necessity reduced to ask,
The giver has the difficultest task ;
For what 's bestowed they awkwardly receive,
And always take less freely than they give.
The obligation is their highest grief,
And never love where they accept relief.
So sullen in their sorrow, that 't is known
They 11 rather die than their afflictions own ;
And if relieved, it is too often true
That they 11 abuse their benefactors too ;
For in distress, their haughty stomach 's such,
They hate to see themselves obliged too much.
Seldom contented, often in the wrong,
Hard to be pleased at all, and never long.
If your mistakes their ill opinion gain,
No merit can their favour re-obtain ;
And if they're not vindictive in their fury,
T is their unconstant temper does secure ye.
Their brain "s so cool, their passion seldom burns,
[254]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
For all 's condensed before the flame returns ;
The fermentation 's of so weak a matter,
The humid damps the fume, and runs it all to water.
So, though the inclination may be strong,
They Ye pleased by fits, and never angry long.
Then, if good-nature shows some slender proof,
They never think they have reward enough,
But, like our modern Quakers of the town,
Expect your manners, and return you none.
Friendship, th 1 abstracted union of the mind,
Which all men seek, but very few can find :
Of all the nations in the universe,
None talk on "t more, or understand it less ;
For if it does their property annoy,
Their property their friendship will destroy.
As you discourse them, you shall hear them tell
All things in which they think they do excel.
No panegyric needs their praise record ;
An Englishman ne'er wants his own good word.
His long discourses generally appear
Prologued with his own wondVous character.
But first to illustrate his own good name,
He never fails his neighbour to defame ;
And yet he really designs no wrong
His malice goes no further than his tongue.
But pleased to tattle, he delights to rail,
To satisfy the lechVy of a tale.
His own dear praises close the ample speech ;
[2551
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
Tells you how wise he is that is, how rich :
For wealth is wisdom ; he that 's rich is wise ;
And all men learned poverty despise.
His generosity comes next, and then
Concludes that he 's a true-born Englishman ;
And they, 't is known, are generous and free,
Forgetting and forgiving injury :
Which may be true, thus rightly understood,
Forgiving ill turns, and forgetting good.
Cheerful in labour when they Ve undertook it,
But out of humour when they 're out of pocket.
But if their belly and their pocket 's full,
They may be phlegmatic, but never dull :
And if a bottle does their brains refine,
It makes their wit as sparkling as their wine.
As for the general vices which we find
They 're guilty of, in common with mankind,
Satire, forbear, and silently endure ;
We must conceal the crimes we cannot cure.
Nor shall my verse the brighter sex defame,
For English beauty will preserve her name,
Beyond dispute, agreeable and fair,
And modester than other nations are :
For where the vice prevails, the great temptation
Is want of money more than inclination.
In general, this only is allowed,
They 're something noisy, and a little proud.
An Englishman is gentlest in command,
[256]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
Obedience is a stranger in the land :
Hardly subjected to the magistrate,
For Englishmen do all subjection hate ;
Humblest when rich, but peevish when they're
poor,
And think, what e'er they have, they merit more.
The meanest English ploughman studies law,
And keeps thereby the magistrates in awe ;
Will boldly tell them what they have to do,
And sometimes punish their omissions too.
Their liberty and property 's so dear,
They scorn their laws or governors to fear :
So bugbeared with the name of slavery,
They can't submit to their own liberty.
Restraint from ill is freedom to the wise ;
But Englishmen do all restraint despise.
Slaves to their liquor, drudges to the pots,
The mob are statesmen and their statesmen sots.
Their governors they count such dangerous things,
That 't is their custom to affront their kings :
So jealous of the power their kings possest,
They suffer neither power nor king to rest.
The bad with force they easily subdue :
The good with constant clamours they pursue ;
And did King Jesus reign, they 'd murmur too.
A discontented nation, and by far
Harder to rule in times of peace than war :
Easily set together by the ears,
VOL. n. 17 [ 257 ]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
And full of causeless jealousies and fears :
Apt to revolt, and willing to rebel,
And never are contented when they 're well.
No Government could ever please them long,
Could tie their hands, or rectify their tongue :
In this to ancient Israel well compared,
Eternal murmurs are among them heard.
It was but lately that they were oppressed,
Their rights invaded, and their laws suppressed :
When nicely tender of their liberty,
Lord ! what a noise they made of slavery.
In daily tumult showed their discontent,
Lampooned the King, and mocked his Government.
And if in arms they did not first appear,
T was want of force, and not for want of fear.
In humbler tone than English used to do,
At foreign hands for foreign aid they sue.
William, the great successor of Nassau,
Their prayers heard and their oppressions saw :
He saw and saved them ; God and him they
praised,
To this their thanks, to that their trophies raised.
But, glutted with their own felicities,
They soon their new deliverer despise ;
Say all their prayers back, their joy disown,
Unsing their thanks, and pull their trophies down ;
Their harps of praise are on the willows hung,
For Englishmen are ne'er contented long.
[258]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
The reverend clergy, too ! Who would have'
thought
That they, who had such non-resistance taught,
Should e'er to arms against their prince be brought*.
Who up to Heaven did regal power advance,
Subjecting English laws to modes of France,
Twisting religion so with loyalty,
As one could never live and other die.
And yet no sooner did their prince design
Their glebes and perquisites to undermine,
But, all their passive doctrines laid aside,
The clergy their own principles denied ;
Unpreached their non-resisting cant, and prayed
To Heaven for help and to the Dutch for aid.
The Church chimed all her doctrines back again,
And pulpit champions did the cause maintain ;
Flew in the face of all their former zeal,
And non-resistance did at once repeal.
The Rabbis say it would be too prolix
To tie religion up to politics :
The Church's safety is supremo, lex.
And so, by a new figure of their own,
Their former doctrines all at once disown ;
As laws post facto in the Parliament
In urgent cases have obtained assent,
But are as dangerous precedents laid by,
Made lawful only by necessity.
The reverend fathers then in arms appear,
[259]
THE TKUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
And men of God become the men of war.
The nation, fired by them, to arms apply,
Assault their Antichristian monarchy ;
To their due channel all our laws restore,
And made things what they should have been
before.
But when they came to fill the vacant throne,
And the pale priests looked back on what they'd
done;
How English liberty began to thrive,
And Church of England loyalty outlive ;
How all their persecuting days were done,
And their deliverer placed upon the throne :
The priests, as priests are wont to do, turned tail ;
They 're Englishmen, and nature will prevail.
Now they deplore the ruins they have made,
And murmur for the master they betrayed,
Excuse those crimes they could not make him mend,
And suffer for the cause they can't defend.
Pretend they 'd not have carried things so high,
And proto-martyrs make for Popery.
Had the prince done as they designed the thing,
Have set the clergy up to rule the King,
Taken a donative for coming hither,
And so have left their King and them together,
We had, say they, been now a happy nation.
No doubt we had seen a blessed reformation :
For wise men say 'tis as dangerous a thing,
[260]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
A ruling priesthood as a priest-rid king ;
And of all plagues with which mankind are curst,
Ecclesiastic tyranny 1 s the worst.
If all our former grievances were feigned,
King James has been abused and we trepanned ;
Bugbeared with Popery and power despotic,
Tyrannic government and leagues exotic :
The Revolution 's a fanatic plot,
William a tyrant, Sunderland a sot :
A factious army and a poisoned nation
Unjustly forced King James's abdication.
But if he did the subjects' rights invade,
Then he was punished only, not betrayed ;
And punishing of kings is no such crime,
But Englishmen have done it many a time.
When kings the sword of justice first lay down,
They are no kings, though they possess the crown :
Titles are shadows, crowns are empty things :
The good of subjects is the end of kings ;
To guide in war and to protect in peace ;
Where tyrants once commence the kings do cease ;
For arbitrary power 's so strange a thing,
It makes the tyrant and unmakes the king.
If kings by foreign priests and armies reign,
And lawless power against their oaths maintain,
Then subjects must have reason to complain.
If oaths must bind us when our kings do ill,
To call in foreign aid is to rebel.
[261]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
By force to circumscribe our lawful prince
Is wilful treason in the largest sense ;
And they who once rebel, most certainly
Their God, and king, and former oaths defy.
If we allow no mal-administration
Could cancel the allegiance of the nation,
Let all our learned sons of Levi try
This ecclesiastic riddle to untie :
How they could make a step to call the prince,
And yet pretend to oaths and innocence ?
By the first address they made beyond the seas,
They're perjured in the most intense degrees ;
And without scruple for the time to come
May swear to all the kings in Christendom.
And truly did our kings consider all,
They 'd never let the clergy swear at all ;
Their politic allegiance they 'd refuse,
For whores and priests do never want excuse.
But if the mutual contract were dissolved.
The doubts explained, the difficulties solved,
That kings, when they descend to tyranny,
Dissolve the bond and leave the subject free,
The government 's ungirt when justice dies,
And constitutions are non-entities;
The nation 's all a mob ; there 's no such thing
As Lords or Commons, Parliament or King.
A great promiscuous crowd the hydra lies
Till laws revive and mutual contract ties ;
[262]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
A chaos free to choose for their own share
What case of government they please to wear.
If to a king they do the reins commit,
All men are bound in conscience to submit ;
But then that king must by his oath assent
To postulatus of the government,
Which if he breaks, he cuts off the entail,
And power retreats to its original.
This doctrine has the sanction of assent
From Nature's universal Parliament.
The voice of Nature and the course of things
Allow that laws superior are to kings.
None but delinquents would have justice cease ;
Knaves rail at laws as soldiers rail at peace ;
For justice is the end of government,
As reason is the test of argument.
No man was ever yet so void of sense
As to debate the right of self-defence,
A principle so grafted in the mind,
With Nature born, and does like Nature bind ;
Twisted with reason and with Nature too,
As neither one or other can undo.
Nor can this right be less when national ;
Reason, which governs one, should govern all.
Whatever the dialects of courts may tell,
He that his right demands can ne'er rebel,
Which right, if 't is by governors denied,
May be procured by force or foreign aid ;
[263]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
For tyranny 's a nation's term of grief,
As folks cry " Fire " to hasten in relief;
And when the hated word is heard about,
All men should come to help the people out.
Thus England groaned Britannia's voice was
heard,
And great Nassau to rescue her appeared,
Called by the universal voice of Fate
God and the people 's legal magistrate.
Ye Heavens regard ! Almighty Jove look down,
And view thy injured monarch on the throne.
On their ungrateful heads due vengeance take,
Who sought his aid and then his part forsake.
Witness, ye Powers ! It was our call alone,
Which now our pride makes us ashamed to own.
Britannia's troubles fetched him from afar
To court the dreadful casualties of war ;
But where requital never can be made,
Acknowledgment 's a tribute seldom paid.
He dwelt in bright Maria's circling arms,
Defended by the magic of her charms
From foreign fears and from domestic harms.
Ambition found no fuel to her fire ;
He had what God could give or man desire.
Till pity roused him from his soft repose,
His life to unseen hazards to expose ;
Till pity moved him in our cause t' appear ,
Pity ! that word which now we hate to hear.
[264]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
But English gratitude is always such,
To hate the hand which doth oblige too much.
Britannia's cries gave birth to his intent,
And hardly gained his unforeseen assent ;
His boding thoughts foretold him he should find
The people fickle, selfish, and unkind.
Which thought did to his royal heart appear
More dreadful than the dangers of the war;
For nothing grates a generous mind so soon
As base returns for hearty service done.
Satire, be silent ! awfully prepare
Britannia's song and William's praise to hear.
Stand by, and let her cheerfully rehearse
Her grateful vows in her immortal verse.
Loud Fame's eternal trumpet let her sound ;
Listen, ye distant Poles and endless round.
May the strong blast the welcome news convey
As far as sound can reach or spirit can fly.
To neighb'ring worlds, if such there be, relate
Our hero's fame, for theirs to imitate.
To distant worlds of spirits let her rehearse :
For spirits, without the help of voice, converse.
May angels hear the gladsome news on high,
Mixed with their everlasting symphony.
And Hell itself stand in suspense to know
Whether it be the fatal blast or no.
[265]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
BRITANNIA
The fame of virtue 't is for which I sound,
And heroes with immortal triumphs crowned.
Fame, built on solid virtue, swifter flies
Than morning light can spread my eastern skies.
The gathering air returns the doubling sound,
And loud repeating thunders force it round ;
Echoes return from caverns of the deep ;
Old Chaos dreamt on "t in eternal sleep ;
Time hands it forward to its latest urn,
From whence it never, never shall return ;
Nothing is heard so far or lasts so long ;
T is heard by every ear and spoke by every tongue.
My hero, with the sails of honour furled,
Rises like the great genius of the world.
By Fate and Fame wisely prepared to be
The soul of war and life of victory ;
He spreads the wings of virtue on the throne,
And every wind of glory fans them on.
Immortal trophies dwell upon his brow,
Fresh as the garlands he has won but now.
By different steps the high ascent he gains,
And differently that high ascent maintains.
Princes for pride and lust of rule make war,
And struggle for the name of conqueror.
[266]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
Some fight for fame, and some for victory ;
He fights to save, and conquers to set free.
Then seek no phrase his titles to conceal,
And hide with words what actions must reveal,
No parallel from Hebrew stories take
Of god-like kings my similes to make ;
No borrowed names conceal my living theme,
But names and things directly I proclaim.
T is honest merit does his glory raise,
Whom that exalts let no man fear to praise :
Of such a subject no man need be shy,
Virtue 's above the reach of flattery.
He needs no character but his own fame,
Nor any flattering titles but his name :
William 's the name that 's spoke by every tongue,
William 's the darling subject of my song.
Listen, ye virgins to the charming sound,
And in eternal dances hand it round :
Your early offerings to this altar bring,
Make him at once a lover and a king.
May he submit to none but to your arms,
Nor ever be subdued but by your charms.
May your soft thoughts for him be all sublime,
And every tender vow be made for him.
May he be first in every morning thought,
And Heaven ne'er hear a prayer when he 's left out.
May every omen, every boding dream,
Be fortunate by mentioning his name ;
[267]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
May this one charm infernal power affright,
And guard you from the terrors of the night ;
May every cheerful glass, as it goes down
To William's health, be cordials to your own.
Let every song be chorused with his name,
And music pay a tribute to his fame ;
Let every poet tune his artful verse,
And in immortal strains his deeds rehearse.
And may Apollo never more inspire
The disobedient bard with his seraphic fire ;
May all my sons their graceful homage pay,
His praises sing, and for his safety pray.
Satire, return to our unthankful isle,
Secured by Heaven's regard and William's toil ;
To both ungrateful and to both untrue,
Rebels to God, and to good-nature too.
If e'er this nation be distressed again,
To whomsoe'er they cry, they '11 cry in vain ;
To Heaven they cannot have the face to look,
Or, if they should, it would but Heaven provoke.
To hope for help from man would be too much,
Mankind would always tell them of the Dutch ;
How they came here our freedoms to obtain,
Were paid and cursed, and hurried home again ;
How by their aid we first dissolved our fears,
And then our helpers damned for foreigners.
T is not our English temper to do better,
For Englishmen think every man their debtor.
[268]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
T is worth observing that we ne'er complained
Of foreigners, nor of the wealth they gained,
Till all their services were at an end.
Wise men affirm it is the English way
Never to grumble till they come to pay,
And then they always think, their temper 's such,
The work too little and the pay too much.
As frightened patients, when they want a cure,
Bid any price, and any pain endure ;
But when the doctor's remedies appear,
The cure 's too easy and the price too dear.
Great Portland ne'er was bantered when he strove
For us his master's kindest thoughts to move ;
We ne'er lampooned his conduct when employed
King James's secret counsels to divide :
Then we caressed him as the only man
Which could the doubtful oracle explain ;
The only Hushai able to repel
The dark designs of our Achitopel ;
Compared his master's courage to his sense,
The ablest statesman and the bravest prince.
On his wise conduct we depended much,
And liked him ne'er the worse for being Dutch.
Nor was he valued more than he deserved,
Freely he ventured, faithfully he served.
In all King William's dangers he has shared ;
In England's quarrels always he appeared :
The Revolution first, and then the Boyne,
[269]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
In both his counsels and his conduct shine ;
His martial valour Flanders will confess,
And France regrets his managing the peace.
Faithful to England's interest and her king ;
The greatest reason of our murmuring.
Ten years in English service he appeared,
And gained his master's and the world's regard :
But 't is not England's custom to reward.
The wars are over, England needs him not ;
Now he 's a Dutchman, and the Lord knows what.
Schornberg, the ablest soldier of his age,
With great Nassau did in our cause engage :
Both joined for England's rescue and defence,
The greatest captain and the greatest prince.
With what applause, his stories did we tell !
Stories which Europe's volumes largely swell.
We counted him an army in our aid :
Where he commanded, no man was afraid.
His actions with a constant conquest shine,
From Villa- Viciosa to the Rhine.
France, Flanders, Germany, his fame confess,
And all the world was fond of him, but us.
Our turn first served, we grudged him the command
Witness the grateful temper of the land.
We blame the King that he relies too much
On strangers, Germans, Hugonots, and Dutch,
And seldom does his great affairs of state
To English counsellors communicate.
[270]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
The fact might very well be answered thus :
He has so often been betrayed by us,
He must have been a madman to rely
On English Godolphin's fidelity.
For, laying other arguments aside,
This thought might mortify our English pride,
That foreigners have faithfully obeyed him,
And none but Englishmen have e'er betrayed him.
They have our ships and merchants bought and
sold,
And bartered English blood for foreign gold.
First to the French they sold our Turkey fleet,
And injured Talmarsh next at Camaret.
The King himself is sheltered from their snares,
Not by his merit, but the crown he wears.
Experience tells us 't is the English way
Their benefactors always to betray.
And lest examples should be too remote,
A modern magistrate of famous note
Shall give you his own character by rote.
I '11 make it out, deny it he that can,
His worship is a true-born Englishman,
In all the latitude of that empty word,
By modern acceptations understood.
The parish books his great descent record ;
And now he hopes ere long to be a lord.
And truly, as things go, it would be pity
But such as he should represent the City :
[271 J
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
While robbery for burnt-offering he brings,
And gives to God what he has stole from kings :
Great monuments of charity he raises,
And good St. Magnus whistles out his praises.
To City gaols he grants a jubilee,
And hires huzzas from his own Mobilee. 1
Lately he wore the golden chain and gown,
With which equipped, he thus harangued the town.
His FINE SPEECH, ETC.
With clouted iron shoes and sheep-skin breeches,
More rags than manners, and more dirt than riches ;
From driving cows and calves to Leyton Market,
While of my greatness there appeared no spark yet,
Behold I come, to let you see the pride
With which exalted beggars always ride.
Born to the needful labours of the plough, .
The cart-whip graced me, as the chain does now.
Nature and Fate, in doubt what course to take,
Whether I should a lord or plough-boy make,
Kindly at last resolved they would promote me,
And first a knave, and then a knight, they vote me.
What Fate appointed, Nature did prepare,
And furnished me with an exceeding care,
To fit me for what they designed to have me ;
And every gift, but honesty, they gave me.
1 "Mobile," applied to the movable, unstable populace,
was first abridged to " mob " in Charles the Second's time.
[ 272 ]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
And thus equipped, to this proud town I came,
In quest of bread, and not in quest of fame.
Blind to my future fate, a humble boy,
Free from the guilt and glory I enjoy,
The hopes which my ambition entertained
Were in the name of foot-boy all contained.
The greatest heights from small beginnings rise ;
The gods were great on earth before they reached
the skies.
B well, the generous temper of whose mind
Was ever to be bountiful inclined,
Whether by his ill-fate or fancy led,
First took me up, and furnished me with bread.
The little services he put me to
Seemed labours, rather than were truly so.
But always my advancement he designed,
For 't was his very nature to be kind.
Large was his soul, his temper ever free ;
The best of masters and of men to me.
And I, who was before decreed by Fate
To be made infamous as well as great,
With an obsequious diligence obeyed him,
Till trusted with his all, and then betrayed
him.
All his past kindnesses I trampled on,.
Ruined his fortunes to erect my own.
So vipers in the bosom bred, begin
To hiss at that hand first which took them in.
TOL. n. 18 [ 273 ]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
With eager treachery I his fall pursued,
And my first trophies were Ingratitude.
Ingratitude, the worst of human wit,
The basest action mankind can commit ;
Which, like the sin against the Holy Ghost,
Has least of honour, and of guilt the most ;
Distinguished from all other crimes by this,
That ""t is a crime which no man will confess.
That sin alone, which should not be forgiven
On earth, although perhaps it may in Heaven.
Thus my first benefactor I o'erthrew ;
And how should I be to a second true ?
The public trusts came next into my care,
And I to use them scurvily prepare.
My needy sovereign lord I played upon,
And lent him many a thousand of his own ;
For which great interests I took care to charge,
And so my ill-got wealth became so large.
My predecessor, Judas, was a fool,
Fitter to have been whipped and sent to school
Than sell a Saviour. Had I been at hand,
His Master had not been so cheap trepanned ;
I would have made the eager Jews have found,
For forty pieces, thirty thousand pound.
My cousin, Ziba, of immortal fame
(Ziba and I shall never want a name),
First-born of treason, nobly did advance
His master's fall for his inheritance,
[274]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
By whose keen arts old David first began
To break his sacred oath with Jonathan :
The good old king, 't is thought, was very loth
To break his word, and therefore broke his oath.
Ziba 's a traitor of some quality,
Yet Ziba might have been informed by me :
Had I been there, he ne'er had been content
With half the estate, nor have the government.
In our late revolution 't was thought strange
That I, of all mankind, should like the change ;
But they who wondered at it never knew
That in it I did my old game pursue ;
Nor had they heard of twenty thousand pound,
Which never yet was lost, nor ne'er was found.
Thus all things in their turn to sale I bring,
God and my master first, and then the King ;
Till, by successful villanies made bold,
I thought to turn the nation into gold ;
And so to forgery my hand I bent,
Not doubting I could gull the Government ;
But there was ruffled by the Parliament.
And if I 'scaped the unhappy tree to climb,
*T was want of law, and not for want of crime.
But my old friend, 1 who printed in my face
A needful competence of English brass,
Having more business yet for me to do,
And loth to lose his trusty servant so,
i The Devil. [D.F.J
[275]
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
Managed the matter with such art and skill
As saved his hero and threw down the bill.
And now I "m graced with unexpected honours,
For which I '11 certainly abuse the donors.
Knighted, and made a tribune of the people,
Whose laws and properties I 'm like to keep well ;
The custos rotulorum of the City,
And captain of the guards of their banditti.
Surrounded by my catchpoles, I declare
Against the needy debtor open war ;
I hang poor thieves for stealing of your pelf,
And suffer none to rob you but myself.
The King commanded me to help reform ye,
And how 1 11 do it, Miss shall inform ye.
I keep the best seraglio in the nation,
And hope in time to bring it into fashion.
For this my praise is sung by every bard,
For which Bridewell would be a just reward.
In print my panegyrics fill the streets,
And hired gaol-birds their huzzas repeat.
Some charities contrived to make a show,
Have taught the needy rabble to do so,
Whose empty noise is a mechanic fame,
Since for Sir Belzebub they 'd do the same.
THE CONCLUSION
Then let us boast of ancestors no more,
Or deeds of heroes done in days of yore,
[276 J
THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN
In latent records of the ages past,
Behind the rear of time, in long oblivion placed.
For if our virtues must in lines descend,
The merit with the families would end,
And intermixtures would most fatal grow ;
For vice would be hereditary too ;
The tainted blood would of necessity
Involuntary wickedness convey.
Vice, like ill-nature, for an age or two
May seem a generation to pursue ;
But virtue seldom does regard the breed ;
Fools do the wise, and wise men fools succeed.
What is 't to us what ancestors we had ?
If good, what better ? or what worse, if bad ?
Examples are for imitation set,
Yet all men follow virtue with regret.
Could but our ancestors retrieve the fate,
And see their offspring thus degenerate ;
How we contend for birth and names unknown,
And build on their past actions, not our own ;
They M cancel records, and their tombs deface,
And openly disown the vile degenerate race :
For fame of families is all a cheat,
is personal virtue only makes us great.
[277]
THE SHORTEST WAY
WITH
THE DISSENTERS;
OB,
PROPOSALS FOR THE ESTABLISHMENT
OF
THE CHURCH
THE SHORTEST WAY WITH
THE DISSENTERS
SIR ROGER UESTRANGE tells us a
story in his collection of fables, of the
cock and the horses. The cock was gotten
to roost in the stable among the horses,
and there being no racks or other conveniences for
him, it seems he was forced to roost upon the ground.
The horses jostling about for room, and putting the
cock in danger of his life, he gives them this grave
advice, " Pray, gentlefolks, let us stand still, for fear
we should tread upon one another. 11
There are some people in the world, who now
they are unperched, and reduced to an equality with
other people, and under strong and very just appre
hensions of being further treated as they deserve,
begin, with ^Esop's cock, to preach up peace and
union, and the Christian duties of moderation, for
getting that, when they had the power in their
hands, these graces were strangers in their gates.
It is now near fourteen years l that the glory and
peace of the purest and most flourishing Church in
1 Dating from 1688-89, the Revolution and accession of King
William III.
[281]
THE SHORTEST WAY
the world has been eclipsed, buffeted, and disturbed
by a sort of men whom God in His providence has
suffered to insult over her and bring her down.
These have been the days of her humiliation and
tribulation. She has borne with invincible patience
the reproach of the wicked, and God has at last
heard her prayers, and delivered her from the op
pression of the stranger.
And now they find their day is over, their power
gone, and the throne of this nation possessed by a
royal, English, true, and ever-constant member of,
and friend to, the Church of England. Now they
find that they are in danger of the Church of Eng
land's just resentments ; now they cry out peace,
union, forbearance, and charity, as if the Church had
not too long harboured her enemies under her wing,
and nourished the viperous brood till they hiss and
fly in the face of the mother that cherished them.
No, gentlemen, the time of mercy is past, your
day of grace is over; you should have practised
peace, and moderation, and charity, if you expected
any yourselves.
We have heard none of this lesson for fourteen
years past. We have been huffed and bullied with
your Act of Toleration ; you have told us that you
are the Church established by law, as well as others ;
have set up your canting synagogues at our church
doors, and the Church and members have been
[282]
WITH THE DISSENTERS
loaded with reproaches, with oaths, associations,
abjurations, and what not. Where has been the
mercy, the forbearance, the charity, you have shown
to tender consciences of the Church of England, that
could not take oaths as fast as you made them ; that
having sworn allegiance to their lawful and rightful
King, could not dispense with that oath, their King
being still alive, and swear to your new hodge-podge
of a Dutch Government ? These have been turned
out of their livings, and they and their families left
to starve ; their estates double taxed to carry on a
war they had no hand in, and you got nothing by.
What account can you give of the multitudes you
have forced to comply, against their consciences,
with your new sophistical politics, who, like new
converts in France, sin because they cannot starve ?
And now the tables are turned upon you ; you must
not be persecuted ; it is not a Christian spirit.
You have butchered one king, deposed another
king, and made a mock king of a third, 1 and yet you
could have the face to expect to be employed and
trusted by the fourth. Anybody that did not know
the temper of your party would stand amazed at the
impudence, as well as folly, to think of it.
Your management of your Dutch monarch, whom
you reduced to a mere King of Clouts, is enough to
give any future princes such an idea of your princi-
1 Charles I., James II., William III.
[283J
THE SHORTEST WAY
pies as to warn them sufficiently from coming into
your clutches ; and God be thanked the Queen is
out of your hands, knows you, and will have a care
of you.
There is no doubt but the supreme authority of a
nation has in itself a power, and a right to that
power, to execute the laws upon any part of that
nation it governs. The execution of the known
laws of the land, and that with a weak and gentle
hand neither, was all this fanatical party of this land
have ever called persecution ; this they have mag
nified to a height, that the sufferings of the Hugue
nots in France were not to be compared with.
Now, to execute the known laws of a nation upon
those who transgress them, after voluntarily consent
ing to the making those laws, can never be called
persecution, but justice. But justice is always vio
lence to the party offending, for every man is inno
cent in his own eyes. The first execution of the
laws against Dissenters in England was in the days
of King James the First ; 1 and what did it amount
i On the 16th of July, 1604, the Puritan clergy within the
Church were required to conform on or before the 30th of No
vember on pain of expulsion. On the 4th of December Whit-
gift's successor, Richard Bancroft, was consecrated Archbishop
of Canterbury. He strictly carried out this order, and declared
every man, cleric or lay, to be excommunicated who questioned
the complete accordance of the Prayer Book with the Word of
God. On the 6th of September, 1620, the Mayflower left Eng
land with the first freight of English families that sought free-
[284 ]
WITH THE DISSENTERS
to truly ? The worst they suffered was at their own
request : to let them go to New England and erect a
new colony, and give them great privileges, grants,
and suitable powers, keep them under protection,
and defend them against all invaders, and receive no
taxes or revenue from them. This was the cruelty
of the Church of England. Fatal leniency ! It was
the ruin of that excellent prince, King Charles the
First. Had King James sent all the Puritans in
England away to the West Indies, we had been a
national, unmixed Church ; the Church of England
had been kept undivided and entire.
To requite the lenity of the father they take up
arms against the son ; conquer, pursue, take, im
prison, and at last put to death the anointed of God,
and destroy the very being and nature of government,
setting up a sordid impostor, who had neither title
to govern nor understanding to manage, but supplied
that want with power, bloody and desperate counsels,
and craft without conscience.
Had not King James the First withheld the full
execution of the laws, had he given them strict
justice, he had cleared the nation of them, and the
consequences had been plain : his son had never
been murdered by them nor the monarchy over
whelmed. It was too much mercy shown them, was
dom of worship where they came to be the founders of a New
England across the sea.
[285]
THE SHORTEST WAY
the ruin of his posterity and the ruin of the nation's
peace. One would think the Dissenters should not
have the face to believe that we are to be wheedled
and canted into peace and toleration when they
know that they have once requited us with a civil
war, and once with an intolerable and unrighteous
persecution for our former civility.
Nay, to encourage us to be easy with them, it is
apparent that they never had the upper hand of the
Church, but they treated her with all the severity,
with all the reproach and contempt that was possi
ble. What peace and what mercy did they show the
loyal gentry of the Church of England in the time
of their triumphant Commonwealth ? How did they
put all the gentry of England to ransom, whether
they were actually in arms for the King or not,
making people compound for their estates and starve
their families ? How did they treat the clergy of the
Church of England, sequestered the ministers, de
voured the patrimony of the Church, and divided
the spoil by sharing the Church lands among their
soldiers, and turning her clergy out to' starve ? Just
such measure as they have meted should be meas
ured them again.
Charity and love is the known doctrine of the
Church of England, and it is plain she has put it in
practice towards the Dissenters, even beyond what they
ought, till she has been wanting to herself, and in
[286]
WITH THE DISSENTERS
effect unkind to her sons, particularly in the too much
lenity of King James the First, mentioned before.
Had he so rooted the Puritans from the face of the
land, which he had an opportunity early to have done,
they had not had the power to vex the Church as
since they have done.
In the days of King Charles the Second, how did
the Church reward their bloody doings with lenity
and mercy, except the barbarous regicides of the
pretended court of justice ? Not a soul suffered for
all the blood in an unnatural war. King Charles
came in all mercy and love, cherished them, preferred
them, employed them, withheld the rigour of the
law, and oftentimes, even against the advice of his
Parliament, gave them liberty of conscience ; l and
how did they requite him with the villainous contri
vance to depose and murder him and his successor at
the Rye Plot ? 2
King James, as if mercy was the inherent quality
of the family, began his reign with unusual favour
to them. Nor could their joining with the Duke of
Monmouth against him move him to do himself
justice upon them ; but that mistaken prince thought
to win them by gentleness and love, proclaimed an
1 Charles II. unconstitutionally suspended the penal laws
against nonconformists and recusants in 1679.
2 The story of the Rye House Plot was used for bringing
Algernon Sidney and Lord William Russell to the scaffold.
[287 J
THE SHORTEST WAY
universal liberty to them, and rather discounte
nanced the Church of England than them. 1 How
they requited him all the world knows.
The late reign is too fresh in the memory of all
the world to need a comment ; how, under pretence
of joining with the Church in redressing some griev
ances, they pushed things to that extremity, in
conjunction with some mistaken gentlemen, as to
depose the late King, as if the grievance of the
nation could not have been redressed but by the
absolute ruin of the prince. Here is an instance of
their temper, their peace, and charity. To what
height they carried themselves during the reign of a
king of their own ; how they crept into all places of
trust and profit ; how they insinuated into the favour
of the King, and were at first preferred to the high
est places in the nation ; how they engrossed the
ministry, and above all, how pitifully they managed,
is too plain to need any remarks.
But particularly their mercy and charity, the spirit
of union, they tell us so much of, has been remark
able in Scotland. If any man would see the spirit
of a Dissenter, let him look into Scotland. There
they made entire conquest of the Church, trampled
down the sacred orders, and suppressed the Episcopal
1 James II. unconstitutionally suspended the penal laws
against nonconformists and recusants by Declarations of Indul
gence in 1686 and 1688.
[288]
WITH THE DISSENTERS
government with an absolute, and, as they suppose,
irretrievable victory, though it is possible they may
find themselves mistaken. Now it would be a very
proper question to ask their impudent advocate, the
Observator, pray how much mercy and favour did
the members of the Episcopal Church find in Scot
land from the Scotch Presbyterian Government ?
and I shall undertake for the Church of England
that the Dissenters shall still receive as much here,
though they deserve but little.
In a small treatise of the sufferings of the Episco
pal clergy in Scotland, it will appear what usage
they met with ; how they not only lost their livings,
but in several places were plundered and abused in
their persons ; the ministers that could not conform
turned out with numerous families and no mainten
ance, and hardly charity enough left to relieve them
with a bit of bread. And the cruelties of the parties
are innumerable, and not to be attempted in this
short piece.
And now to prevent the distant cloud which they
perceived to hang over their heads from England.
With a true Presbyterian policy, they put in for a
union of nations, that England might unite their
Church with the Kirk of Scotland, and their Presby
terian members sit in our House of Commons, and
their Assembly of Scotch canting long-cloaks in our
Convocation. What might have been if our fanatic
VOL. 11. 19 [289]
THE SHORTEST WAY
Whiggish statesmen continued, God only knows;
but we hope we are out of fear of that now.
It is alleged by some of the faction and they
began to bully us with it that if we won^t unite
with them, they will not settle the crown with us
again, but when Her Majesty dies, will choose a king
for themselves.
If they won't, we must make them, and it is not
the first time we have let them know that we are
able. The crowns of these kingdoms have not so far
disowned the right of succession, but they may re
trieve it again ; and if Scotland thinks to come off
from a successive to an elective state of government,
England has not promised not to assist the right
heir and put them into possession without any regard
to their ridiculous settlements. 1
These are the gentlemen, these their ways of treat
ing the Church, both at home and abroad. Now let
us examine the reasons they pretend to give why we
should be favourable to them, why we should con
tinue and tolerate them among us.
First, they are very numerous, they say ; they are
a great part of the nation, and we cannot suppress
them.
1 The oath taken by Tories against the legal right of the
Pretender to the crown was said to reserve the question of his
divine right of succession. Divine right was unchangeable, but
laws were liable to change and so far as they go, what to-day
is treason may be loyalty to-morrow.
[290]
WITH THE DISSENTERS
To this may be answered :
1. They are not so numerous as the Protestants
in France, and yet the French King effectually
cleared the nation of them at once, and we don't
find he misses them at home. 1 But I am not of the
opinion they are so numerous as is pretended ; their
party is more numerous than their persons, and those
mistaken people of the Church who are misled and de
luded by their wheedling artifices to join with them,
make their party the greater ; but these will open
their eyes when the Government shall set heartily
about the work, and come off from them, as some
animals which they say always desert a house when
it is likely to fall.
2. The more numerous the more dangerous, and
therefore the more need to suppress them ; and God
has suffered us to bear them as goads in our sides
for not utterly extinguishing them long ago.
1 The Revocation of the Edict of Nantes was signed on the
l?th of October 1685. All Protestant churches were to be
demolished, and their ministers who would not be converted
were to leave France within a fortnight Fugitive reformers
who did not return within four months would have their prop
erty confiscated. Lay Reformers were forbidden to leave
France, on pain of the galleys for men and confiscation of body
and goods for women. Those who remained were exposed to
cruelties of the soldiery. The King thought that his way of
conversion by dragoons had reduced a million and a half of
French heretics to twelve or fifteen thousand ; but between the
Revocation and the time when Defoe wrote this pamphlet, it
has been estimated that 250,000 French Protestants left France
to establish homes in England and elsewhere.
[291 ]
THE SHORTEST WAY
8. If we are to allow them only because we cannot
suppress them, then it ought to be tried whether we
can or not ; and I am of opinion it is easy to be
done, and could prescribe ways and means, if it were
proper ; but I doubt not the Government will find
effectual methods for the rooting the contagion from
the face of this land.
Another argument they use, which is this, that it
is a time of war, and we have need to unite against
the common enemy.
We answer, this common enemy had been no enemy
if they had not made him so. He was quiet in peace,
and no way disturbed or encroached upon us, and
we know no reason we had to quarrel with him.
But further, we make no question but we are able
to deal with this common enemy without their help ;
but why must we unite with them because of the
enemy ? Will they go over to the enemy if we do
not prevent it by a union with them ? We are very
well contented they should, and make no question
we shall be ready to deal with them and the common
enemy too, and better without them than with them.
Besides, if we have a common enemy, there is the
more need to be secure against our private enemies.
If there is one common enemy, we have the less need
to have an enemy in our bowels.
It was a great argument some people used against
suppressing the old money, that it was a time of
[292]
WITH THE DISSENTERS
war, and it was too great a risk for the nation to
run ; if we should not master it, we should be un
done. And yet the sequel proved the hazard was
not so great but it might be mastered, and the suc
cess was answerable. The suppressing the Dissenters
is not a harder work nor a work of less necessity to
the public. We can never enjoy a settled, uninter
rupted union and tranquillity in this nation till the
spirit of Whiggism, faction, and schism is melted
down like the old money.
To talk of the difficulty is to frighten ourselves
with chimeras and notions of a powerful party,
which are indeed a party without power. Diffi
culties often appear greater at a distance than when
they are searched into with judgment and distin
guished from the vapours and shadows that attend
them.
We are not to be frightened with it ; this age is
wiser than that by all our own experience and theirs
too. King Charles the First had early suppressed
this party if he had taken more deliberate measures.
In short, it is not worth arguing to talk of their
arms. Their Monmouths, and Shaftesburys, and
Argyles are gone ; their Dutch sanctuary is at an
end ; Heaven has made way for their destruction,
and if we do not close with the Divine occasion, we
are to blame ourselves, and may remember that
we had once an opportunity to serve the Church
[ 293 ]
THE SHORTEST WAY
of England by extirpating her implacable enemies,
and having let slip the minute that Heaven pre
sented, may experimentally complain, Post est occasio
calva.
Here are some popular objections in the way :
As first, the Queen has promised them to continue
them in their tolerated liberty, and has told us she
will be a religious observer of her word.
What Her Majesty will do we cannot help ; but
what, as head of the Church, she ought to do, is
another case. Her Majesty has promised to protect
and defend the Church of England, and if she can
not effectually do that without the destruction of
the Dissenters, she must of course dispense with one
promise to comply with another. But to answer
this cavil more effectually : Her Majesty did never
promise to maintain the toleration to the destruction
of the Church ; but it is upon supposition that it
may be compatible with the well-being and safety of
the Church, which she had declared she would take
especial care of. Now if these two interests clash, it
is plain Her Majesty's intentions are to uphold, pro
tect, defend, and establish the Church, and this we
conceive is impossible.
Perhaps it may be said that the Church is in no
immediate danger from the Dissenters, and therefore
it is time enough. But this is a weak answer.
For first, if a danger be real, the distance of it is
[294]
WITH THE DISSENTERS
no argument against, but rather a spur to quicken
us to prevention, lest it be too late hereafter.
And secondly, here is the opportunity, and the
only one perhaps that ever the Church had, to secure
herself and destroy her enemies.
The representatives of the nation have now an
opportunity ; the time is come which all good men
have wished for, that the gentlemen of England may
serve the Church of England. Now they are pro
tected and encouraged by a Church of England
Queen.
What will you do for your sister in the day that
she shall be spoken for ?
If ever you will establish the best Christian Church
in the world ; if ever you will suppress the spirit of
enthusiasm ; if ever you will free the nation from
the viperous brood that have so long sucked the
blood of their mother ; if ever you will leave your
posterity free from faction and rebellion, this is the
time. This is the time to pull up this heretical
weed of sedition that has so long disturbed the peace
of our Church and poisoned the good corn.
But, says another hot and cold objector, this is
renewing fire and faggot, reviving the act De
Heretico Comburendo ; this will be cruelty in its
nature, and barbarous to all the world.
I answer, it is cruelty to kill a snake or a toad in
cold blood, but the poison of their nature makes it a
[295]
THE SHORTEST WAY
charity to our neighbours to destroy those creatures,
not for any personal injury received, but for pre
vention ; not for the evil they have done, but the
evil they may do.
Serpents, toads, vipers, &c., are noxious to the
body, and poison the sensitive life ; these poison the
soul, corrupt our posterity, ensnare our children,
destroy the vitals of our happiness, our future
felicity, and contaminate the whole mass.
Shall any law be given to such wild creatures ?
Some beasts are for sport, and the huntsmen give
them advantages of ground ; but some are knocked
on the head by all possible ways of violence and
surprise.
I do not prescribe fire and faggot, but, as Scipio
said of Carthage, Delenda est Carthago. They are
to be rooted out of this nation, if ever we will live
in peace, serve God, or enjoy our own. As for the
manner, I leave it to those hands who have a right
to execute God's justice on the nation's and the
Church's enemies.
But if we must be frighted from this justice under
the specious pretences and odious sense of cruelty,
nothing will be effected : it will be more barbarous
to our own children and dear posterity when they
shall reproach their fathers, as we do ours, and tell
us, " You had an opportunity to root out this cursed
race from the world under the favour and protection
[296]
WITH THE DISSENTERS
of a true English queen ; and out of your foolish
pity you spared them, because, forsooth, you would
not be cruel ; and now our Church is suppressed
and persecuted, our religion trampled under foot,
our estates plundered, our persons imprisoned and
dragged to jails, gibbets, and scaffolds : your sparing
this Amalekite race is our destruction, your mercy
to them proves cruelty to your poor posterity."
How just will such reflections be when our posterity
shall fall under the merciless clutches of this un
charitable generation, when our Church shall be
swallowed up in schism, faction, enthusiasm, and
confusion ; when our Government shall be devolved
upon foreigners, and our monarchy dwindled into a
republic.
It would be more rational for us, if we must spare
this generation, to summon our own to a general
massacre, and as we have brought them into the
world free, send them out so, and not betray them
to destruction by our supine negligence, and then
cry, " It is mercy."
Moses was a merciful, meek man, and yet with
what fury did he run through the camp, and cut the
throats of three-and-thirty thousand of his dear
Israelites that were fallen into idolatry. What was
the reason ? It was mercy to the rest to make these
examples, to prevent the destruction of the whole
army.
[297]
THE SHORTEST WAY
How many millions of future souls we save from
infection and delusion if the present race of poisoned
spirits were purged from the face of the land !
It is vain to trifle in this matter, the light, foolish
handling of them by mulcts, fines, &c., it is their
glory and their advantage. If the gallows instead of
the Counter, and the galleys instead of the fines,
were the reward of going to a conventicle, to preach
or hear, there would not be so many sufferers. The
spirit of martyrdom is over ; they that will go to
church to be chosen sheriffs and mayors would go
to forty churches rather than be hanged.
If one severe law were made and punctually exe
cuted, that whoever was found at a conventicle
should be banished the nation and the preacher be
hanged, we should soon see an end of the tale. They
would all come to church, and one age would make
us all one again.
To talk of five shillings a month for not coming
to the sacrament, and one shilling per week for not
coming to church, this is such a way of converting
people as never was known ; this is selling them a
liberty to transgress for so much money. If it be
not a crime, why don't we give them full license ?
And if it be, no price ought to compound for the
committing it, for that is selling a liberty to people
to sin against God and the Government.
[298]
WITH THE DISSENTERS
If it be a crime of the highest consequence both
against the peace and welfare of the nation, the
glory of God, the good of the Church, and the hap
piness of the soul, let us rank it among capital
offences, and let it receive a punishment in propor
tion to it.
We hang men for trifles, and banish them for
things not worth naming ; but an offence against
God and the Church, against the welfare of the
world and the dignity of religion, shall be bought
off for five shillings ! This is such a shame to a
Christian Government that it is with regret I trans
mit it to posteiity.
If men sin against God, affront His ordinances,
rebel against His Church, and disobey the precepts
of their superiors, let them suffer as such capital
crimes deserve. So will religion flourish, and this
divided nation be once again united.
And yet the title of barbarous and cruel will soon
be taken off from this law too. I am not supposing
that all the Dissenters in England should be hanged
or banished, but, as in cases of rebellions and insur
rections, if a few of the ringleaders suffer, the mul
titude are dismissed ; so, a few obstinate people
being made examples, there is no doubt but the
severity of the law would find a stop in the com
pliance of the multitude.
[ 299 J '
THE SHORTEST WAY
To make the reasonableness of this matter out of
question, and more unanswerably plain, let us ex
amine for what it is that this nation is divided into
parties and factions, and let us see how they can
justify a separation, or we of the Church of England
can justify our bearing the insults and inconveniences
of the party.
One of their leading pastors, 1 and a man of as
much learning as most among them, in his answer to
a pamphlet, entitled " An Inquiry into the Occa
sional Conformity," has these words, p. 27, " Do the
religion of the Church and the meeting-houses make
two religions ? Wherein do they differ ? The sub
stance of the same religion is common to them both ;
and the modes and accidents are the things in which
only they differ." P. 28 : * Thirty-nine articles are
given us for the summary of our religion ; thirty-six
contain the substance of it, wherein we agree ; three,
the additional appendices, about which we have some
differences."
Now, if as by their own acknowledgment the
Church of England is a true Church, and the differ
ence between them is only in a few modes and acci
dents, why should we expect that they will suffer
galleys, corporeal punishment, and banishment for
1 John Howe, in his answer to Defoe's request for a state
ment of opinion from him on Occasional Conformity.
[300]
WITH THE DISSENTERS
these trifles ? There is no question but they will be
wiser ; even their own principles will not bear them
out in it ; they will certainly comply with the laws
and with reason ; and though at the first severity
they may seem hard, the next age will feel nothing
of it ; the contagion will be rooted out ; the disease
being cured, there will be no need of the operation ;
but if they should venture to transgress and fall
into the pit, all the world must condemn their ob
stinacy, as being without ground from their own
principles.
Thus the pretence of cruelty will be taken off, and
the party actually suppressed, and the disquiets they
have so often brought upon the nation prevented.
Their numbers and their wealth make them
haughty, and that is so far from being an argument
to pei-suade us to forbear them, that it is a warning
to us, without any delay, to reconcile them to the
unity of the Church or remove them from us.
At present, Heaven be praised, they are not
so formidable as they have been, and it is our
own fault if ever we suffer them to be so. Provi
dence and the Church of England seem to join
in this particular, that now the destroyers of the
nation's peace may be overturned, and to this end
the present opportunity seems to be put into our
hands.
[301]
THE SHORTEST WAY
To this end her present Majesty seems reserved to
enjoy the crown, that the ecclesiastic as well as civil
rights of the nation may be restored by her hand.
To this end the face of affairs have received such
a turn in the process of a few months as never has
been before ; the leading men of the nation, the
universal cry of the people, the unanimous request
of the clergy, agree in this, that the deliverance of
our Church is at hand. For this end has Providence
given us such a Parliament, such a Convocation, such
a gentry, and -such a Queen as we never had before.
And what may be the consequences of a neglect of
such opportunities ? The succession of the crown
has but a dark prospect ; another Dutch turn may
make the hopes of it ridiculous and the practice
impossible. Be the house of our future princes
never so well inclined, they will be foreigners, and
many years will be spent in suiting the genius of
strangers to this crown and the interests of the
nation ; and how many ages it may be before the
English throne be filled with so much zeal and can
dour, so much tenderness and hearty affection to the
Church as we see it now covered with, who can
imagine ?
It is high time, then, for the friends of the Church
of England to think of building up and establishing
her in such a manner that she may be no more in-
[302]
WITH THE DISSENTERS
vaded by foreigners nor divided by factions, schisms,
and error.
If this could be done by gentle and easy methods,
I should be glad ; but the wound is corroded, the
vitals begin to mortify, and nothing but amputation
of members can complete the cure ; all the ways of
tenderness and compassion, all persuasive arguments,
have been made use of in vain.
The humour of the Dissenters has so increased
among the people, that they hold the Church in
defiance, and the house of God is an abomination
among them ; nay, they have brought up their pos
terity in such prepossessed aversions to our holy
religion, that the ignorant mob think we are all
idolaters and worshippers of Baal, and account it a
sin to come within the walls of our churches.
The primitive Christians were not more shy of a
heathen temple or of meat offered to idols, nor the
Jews of swine's flesh, than some of our Dissenters
are of the Church, and the divine service solemnised
therein.
This obstinacy must be rooted out with the pro
fession of it ; while the generation are less at liberty
daily to affront God Almighty and dishonour His
holy worship, we are wanting in our duty to God
and our mother, the Church of England.
How can we answer it to God, to the Church, and
[303]
THE SHORTEST WAY
to our posterity to leave them entangled with fanat
icism, error, and obstinacy in the bowels of the
nation ; to leave them an enemy in their streets, that
in time may involve them in the same crimes, and
endanger the utter extirpation of religion in the
nation ?
What is the difference betwixt this and being
subjected to the power of the Church of Rome, from
whence we have reformed ? If one be an extreme on
one hand, and one on another, it is equally destruc
tive to the truth to have errors settled among us, let
them be of what nature they will.
Both are enemies of our Church and of our peace ;
and why should it not be as criminal to admit an
enthusiast as a Jesuit? Why should the Papist
with his seven sacraments be worse than the Quaker
with no sacraments at all? Why should religious
houses be more intolerable than meeting-houses ?
Alas, the Church of England ! What with Popery
on one hand, and schismatics on the other, how has
she been crucified between two thieves !
Now let us crucify the thieves. Let her founda
tions be established upon the destruction of her
enemies. The doors of mercy being always open to
the returning part of the deluded people, let the
obstinate be ruled with the rod of iron.
Let all true sons of so holy and oppressed a
[304]
WITH THE DISSENTERS
mother, exasperated by her afflictions, harden their
hearts against those who have oppressed her.
And may God Almighty put it into the hearts of
all the friends of truth to lift up a standard against
pride and Antichrist, that the posterity of the sons
of error may be rooted out from the face of this
land for ever.
TOL.H. 20 [305]
*
(D
JO
M
3
H
C?3
3*
H-
O
1
M
o
H-
ct
H*
Ct
CO
0*
W
tf
&
3-
Q^
O
H*
(D
(D
O
3
o
3
ct
P
Q'
JO
H
ct
f-
t^
H
Jo
o
O
Q*
H"
3
3
O
<J
ct
01
P-
H-
(D
3"
JO
(D
H
^
Ct
(l>
V
ct
I*
V
4
H-
y
(D
Cj
4
(D
a
JO
OQ
Ct
3
ct
A
O
H
ct
52
H*
~^>
|Q
h*
(D
JO
<
O
O
cj
O
|3
ct
*CJ
(D
(D
PR
Defoe,
Daniel
3404
The
history
and
remarkable
C6
life
1904
